The 2012 Emmy Nominations

Thanks to vacation, trying to catch up with, well, everything, and our esteemed mayor making an appearance on The Colbert Report last night, I’ve been a little busy for the last 96 hours or so. And thus I was completely blindsided by the news that the Emmy nominations had been announced this morning while I was bleary-eyed and wading through a sea of shrieky comments on 1. How terrible Houston is, 2. How great Houston is, 3. How Mayor Parker is the best mayor ever, 4. How Mayor Parker is the very worst mayor ever, 5. Whether or not I understand that Stephen Colbert is playing a character, 6. Whether or not I even watched last night’s The Colbert Report, 7. Gay people: terrible or wonderful — let’s decide it once and for all in the comments section of a television blog.

And so, I was unprepared to deal with all of this, to say the least. As such, I’m sure I’m overlooking a ton of people and shows who were similarly neglected by the Academy, and I look forward to you pointing them all out to me in the comments. Also, I suddenly care about the Miniseries/Movie category? How’d that happen?

Anyway. ONWARD.

Outstanding Variety Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Real Time With Bill Maher

Saturday Night Live

Interesting. Last year, this category was “Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series,” and this year, they’ve narrowed it down to just “Variety,” by which they mostly mean “Late Night Talk Show.” Because having grown up in the heyday of variety series, I assure you none of these nominees bear any sort of resemblance to The Donny and Marie Show.

While the Jimmys are great and have had some fun moments this year, I think this category is a tight race between The Colbert Report and The Daily Show. And if I had to give it to one, right now, this morning, I’d personally give it to The Colbert Report for their continuous, ingenious and hilarious coverage of the Super PAC issue. But then, I might care about campaign finance issues more than your average Emmy voter, so.

Outstanding Variety Special

Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute To America’s Golden Girl

Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker

The Kennedy Center Honors

Mel Brooks And Dick Cavett Together Again

Tony Bennett: Duets II (Great Performances)

I want Kathy Griffin to win this just for the title alone. How great would it be for something titled “Tired Hooker” to beat out both Tony Bennett and Dick Cavett for an Emmy?

This is a dumb category in which awards ceremonies give themselves awards, which is just dumb! And why I want Louis C.K. to take home this Emmy, even if I don’t understand why his comedy special is in this category, but Kathy Griffin’s comedy special is in “Variety Special.” The rules, I do not understand them.

Outstanding Animated Program

American Dad!

Bob’s Burgers

Futurama

The Penguins Of Madagascar: The Return Of The Revenge Of Dr. Blowhole

The Simpsons

This is what happens when you make a broad anti-Semitic joke, Seth MacFarlane: the show you are most famous for gets snubbed, and its spot goes to The Penguins of Madagascar. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

Oh look! Jamie Oliver’s quixotic food series where he yelled at all of us fat Americans for being so fat, WHY WON’T WE STOP SO BEING FAT? was nominated for an Emmy! That’s adorable! As far as who wins this category, I don’t really care, I was just trying to make a point about Jamie Oliver. Let’s say Undercover Boss, because people are always crying on that one and it’s not about self-involved celebrities celebrating their self-involvement.

Outstanding Reality – Competition Program

The Amazing Race

Dancing With The Stars

Project Runway

So You Think You Can Dance

Top Chef

The Voice

Now here’s a category to care about. The Amazing Race has a stranglehold on this category for no particularly good reason (with the exception being in 2010 when Top Chef won — the only time something other than The Amazing Race won since the creation of the category in 2004). But listen, Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef and The Voice, these are all great reality shows! They are so good! If Top Chef: Texas hadn’t finished their Texas season in Canada — CANADA!!! — I’d be its biggest advocate. Instead, I’m going to throw my weight behind So You Think You Can Dance, because of these nominees, I think it is the series that showcases the most amazing talent. Aside from Top Chef. Oh, but for Canada! CANADA.

Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program

Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race

Ryan Seacrest, American Idol

Betty White, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers

Tom Bergeron, Dancing With The Stars

Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance

Cat Deeley. Next?

Outstanding Nonfiction Series

American Masters

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Frozen Planet

Inside The Actors Studio

The Weight Of The Nation

So, what’s the difference between this and Outstanding Reality Series? I need someone to explain this to me. While I’d give it to Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations on account of my crush on him, I’m guessing The Weight of the Nation will win this category for being “important” and “newsy.”

Outstanding Miniseries or Movie

American Horror Story

Game Change

Hatfields & McCoys

Hemingway & Gellhorn

Luther

Sherlock: A Scandal In Belgravia (Masterpiece)

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THIS CATEGORY FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVER. American Horror Story! Game Change! Which one do I root for?! On the one hand, Game Change was hilarious, and Julianne Moore and Ed Harris were perrrrrrfect as Sarah Palin and John McCain. On the other hand, American Horror Story was one of my favoritest shows last year! Which brings me to my biggest problem here: is American Horror Story really a miniseries? No, it is not. It is an unconventional anthologized series, but not a mini-series, let’s not kid ourselves. Similarly, Luther and Sherlock, neither of these series are one-off miniseries, let’s quit lying, everyone. I say give it to Game Change. I know! This is surprising!

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Connie Britton, American Horror Story

Julianne Moore, Game Change

Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Ashley Judd, Missing

Emma Thompson, The Song Of Lunch (Masterpiece)

Again, we come down to Game Change v. American Horror Story. Both Julianne Moore and Connie Britton were so good in their respective roles! So good! And I have gone back and forth on this several times in the past few minutes, but I give this one to Connie Britton. While Moore’s Sarah Palin went beyond mere imitation or caricature, Britton brought her unique blend of fierceness and vulnerability to Vivien Harmon. She both humanized her character and gave the over-the-top series a sense of reality, helping ground it. (But I bet Julianne Moore actually wins.)

This is another difficult category for me, because on the one hand, Jessica Lange owned every scene she was in on American Horror Story. Was she ridiculous and campy and loud and brash and too much? YES. But you could not take your eyes off of her, either. In direct contrast was Frances Conroy whose Moira was both gentle and stern and perfectly believable as a heartbroken spirit. I’m going to give it to Jessica Lange, but I wish I could give it to both of these actresses — the balance and tension between their characters and their performances made American Horror Story a fun and compulsively watchable series.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Denis O’Hare, American Horror Story

Ed Harris, Game Change

Tom Berenger, Hatfields & McCoys

David Strathairn, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Martin Freeman, Sherlock: A Scandal In Belgravia (Masterpiece)

Between this and starring as Bilbo in The Hobbit in December, Martin Freeman is having quite the year! That said, this comes down again for me between American Horror Story and Game Change, and I’m going to give it to Ed Harris for Game Change. Sure, his role was a fraction of that of O’Hare’s, but his John McCain was spot-on and brilliant. All that said, I won’t be surprised if Freeman wins this category, just because.

￼Outstanding Comedy Series

The Big Bang Theory

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Girls

Modern Family

30 Rock

Veep

WHERE IS PARKS AND RECREATION? WHERE ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU HERE, THE BIG BANG THEORY? WHY ARE YOU HERE INSTEAD OF COMMUNITY? GO AWAY. GO AWAY! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU ARE THE WORST! I give the Emmy to Parks and Recreation. I DON’T CARE. I DO NOT. THIS IS A TRAVESTY. *

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

Lena Dunham, Girls

Melissa McCarthy, Molly

Zooey Deschanel, New Girl

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Amy Poehler, Parks And Recreation

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Insert boilerplate “Nurse Jackie is Not a Comedy” rant here.

Good, that out of the way, this is a tough category! All of these actresses are great (shut up, Zooey Deschanel haters, I will not hear it), and they each make their respective shows what they are. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler get all of the props, obviously, but this year I think I’m going to go with Lena Dunham, with a side of regret that I am not choosing Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Louis-Dreyfus is great! She’s fantastic, even. But Dunham gives such a hilarious, fearless, shocking, unforgettable performance, come on. You have to give it to her. (Still, expect a safer choice from the Academy: McCarthy or Falco, I’m guessing.)

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Don Cheadle, House Of Lies

Louis C.K., Louie

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men

Louis C.K., duh.

(But will he win? Of course not. Someone safe: Parsons, Baldwin, Cryer, they will win. And if Cheadle wins for that terrible, terrible show? I will punch someone. I am not saying who; but I will punch someone. Also, where’s Joel McHale? Hmm?)

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory

Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie

Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live

Kathryn Joosten might get the sympathy vote on account of being dead, Sofia Vergara might get the Modern Family vote on account of being on Modern Family, but Kristen Wiig deserves it for carrying that show on her back for the past several years, and that amazing goodbye. (But where is some love for Casey Wilson on Happy Endings? She is so good! Considerably better than Bialik. YEAH I SAID IT.)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Ed O’Neill, Modern Family

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Max Greenfield, New Girl

Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live

Here’s what I’m hoping: I am hoping that the Modern Family vote splits itself four ways and Max Greenfield swoops down and takes the Emmy that is rightfully his. Or Nick Offerman’s. Or Donald Glover’s. Or Danny Pudi. Or the entire male cast of Happy Endings. All of whom were GROSSLY OVERLOOKED. Seriously, Academy, do you even watch television? Anyway, let’s hope for Schmidt. You never know, it could happen. SCHMIDT! SCHMIDTTTTT!!!

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series

Dot-Marie Jones, Glee

Maya Rudolph, Saturday Night Live

Melissa McCarthy, Saturday Night Live

Elizabeth Banks, 30 Rock

Margaret Cho, 30 Rock

Kathy Bates, Two And A Half Men

So this should be a category that I’m all, “eh?” about, but instead there are four really great nominees and I DO NOT KNOW. YEAR OF THE LADY COMEDY, Y’ALL.

So to whom do we give it: Maya Rudolph or Melissa McCarthy for Saturday Night Live? Or Elizabeth Banks or Margaret Cho for 30 Rock? Alright, I’ll narrow it down to: Margaret Cho, Maya Rudolph or Melissa McCarthy. FINE. Maya Rudolph or Melissa McCarthy? I DO NOT KNOW. Both of these episodes were great! So great! And largely thanks to these ladies! I AM FLIPPING A COIN MAYA RUDOLPH THE END. (Melissa McCarthy?)

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series

Michael J. Fox, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Greg Kinnear, Modern Family

Bobby Cannavale, Nurse Jackie

Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live

Will Arnett, 30 Rock

Jon Hamm, 30 Rock

While I’d like to give it to Jon Hamm for his amazing blackface bit on 30 Rock — which was genius — I think that was more to do with audacious writing than his performance. So, Michael J. Fox, because this episode of Curb and his performance itself were daring, hilarious and outrageous.

Outstanding Drama Series

Boardwalk Empire

Breaking Bad

Downton Abbey

Game Of Thrones

Homeland

Mad Men

Yikes! Is this the most difficult category yet? I think this might be the most difficult category yet! Aside from Boardwalk Empire (yawn.) all of these shows are amazing! So amazing, I won’t even whine about Fringe being overlooked, again. (Although it does deserve a spot more than Boardwalk Empire. YES IT DOES.) Arguments could be made for each and every one of these incredible series, very valid arguments! But I’m going to go with my choice for best series of 2011: Homeland. I was torn — Mad Men had an incredible season, unquestionably, but too much Megan? Maybe too much Megan. And therefore, I’m going to go with Homeland which was one of the most terrifying, gripping and tightly written and performed series I’ve ever seen. And I think Homeland has a strong chance to win it.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

Glenn Close, Damages

Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law

Claire Danes, Homeland

Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Elisabeth Moss had a great season on Mad Men, and is absolutely a great actress. No doubt. However, she is not the series — Jon Hamm is. In comparison, Claire Danes was the center of Homeland, the wobbly, untrustworhty, brilliant center, and deserves all the Emmys.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey

Damian Lewis, Homeland

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

And here’s where it gets tricky: Jon Hamm was fantastic, and as noted above, the core of Mad Men, arguably the best show on television. But! Damian Lewis gave a hypnotizing, terrifying performance on Homeland, and kept viewers guessing as to his intentions until the very end. If it were me, I’d give it to Lewis, but I won’t be surprised if Hamm wins this year. Or Cranston! It could always go to Cranston whose “the one who knocks” speech was electrifying and amazing.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad

Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey

Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife

Christine Baranski, The Good Wife

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

While Maggie Smith is a scene stealer, was anyone more heartbreaking on any series than Christina Hendricks was on Mad Men? No. Nope! No one was. Hendricks gave an amazing, gut-wrenching performance this season as a woman who is manipulated and used by the men around her, but who is still strong and indefatigable despite it all. I will say that had Elizabeth Moss been in this category rather than Lead Actress, I would have had a much more difficult time choosing between them, honestly. But these choices are made by people who I suppose know better, so.

(And where is Lena Headley? She gave an amazing performance as Cersei on Game of Thrones this season, going head-to-head with Dinklage’s Tyrion. Y U NO LOVE SCIFI/FANTASY, EMMYS?)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

Giancarlo Esposito, ￼Breaking Bad

Brendan Coyle, Downton Abbey

Jim Carter, Downton Abbey

Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones

Jared Harris, Mad Men

FIRST OF ALL, why is Peter Dinklage in this category and not in Lead Actor? Can someone explain this to me? If Tyrion wasn’t the lead character this season on Game of Thrones, who was? I assume Dinklage will win this category again, and he certainly deserves it — but he might have deserved to win Lead Actor even more. And then if Dinklage had been in Lead Actor, Fringe‘s John Noble could have finally been nominated for the Supporting Actor spot that he has deserved for years now. FOR SHAME, EMMY VOTERS. GET IT RIGHT NEXT YEAR.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series

Martha Plimpton, The Good Wife

Loretta Devine, Grey’s Anatomy

Jean Smart, Harry’s Law

Julia Ormond, Mad Men

Joan Cusack, Shameless

Uma Thurman, Smash

I’m inclined to go with Julia Ormond on this one, but Joan Cusack on Shameless is a consistent delight. If not exactly a “guest” role. So, yeah, let’s give it to Julia Ormond, shall we?

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series

Mark Margolis, Breaking Bad

Dylan Baker, The Good Wife

Michael J. Fox, The Good Wife

Jeremy Davies, Justified

Ben Feldman, Mad Men

Jason Ritter, Parenthood

Michael J. Fox is also having a big year! High five, Michael J. Fox! Of the rest of the nominees, Ben Feldman gave a memorable turn as Ginsburg on Mad Men, but in the end was underutilized. Mark Margolis and Dylan Baker are both very accomplished character actors, and Jason Ritter on Parenthood is reason enough for The Event to be canceled. So good! But I have to give this one to Jeremy Davies on Justified. Jeremy Davies is so good at everything he does, and as much as I love him as ol’ MansonLamps on Lost, he might have actually been born to play the twitchy, feral Dickie Bennett on Justified. He’s just perfect.

And that’s it! My choices! Chances are the Academy voters will largely disagree with me — listen, the people who consistently nominate The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men for Emmys, they are not on the same wavelength with me, I get it — but there’s hope, right? There are some really great nominations this time around! Who do you think will/should win, and who were neglected by the Academy this year, besides Parks and Recreation, Community, Nick Offerman and John Noble, obviously?

Also, there are a whole mess of other nominations: writing, directing, casting, makeup, etc. etc. If you are interested, you can find them all here.

Cheers, nominees!

￼*Of these I actually give it to Girls, but Modern Family will win because: safe and easy.