Slap Upside The Head

OK, kiddo! Here are all the fantastically amazing posts tagged with Barack Obama

Barack Obama announced his personal support of marriage equality yesterday, making him the first U.S. president to do so. Political analysts are already speculating on how this will affect November’s elections, although I don’t really expect that rabidly anti-gay voters would have supported Obama anyway. Still, in the off chance that you Americans don’t re-elect Obama, what do you think of a friendly trade? You can send Obama up here, and in exchange you guys can have Stephen Harper. He’s always wanted to be a U.S. president, you know.

Well, I’m back from my vacation abroad, so let’s start up again with some short, but welcome news! New York officially started issuing same-sex marriage licenses yesterday, just days after President Barack Obama certified the end of the military’s silly “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that banned openly gay citizens from serving in the country.

Hundreds of New Yorkers lined up patiently to get their marriage certificates on Sunday, many of whom had waited for decades. The first couple to get their certificate was Phyllis Siegel, 77, and Connie Kopelov, 85, who have spent the last 23 years of their life together. The total number of marriage licenses issued the first day totaled 659, a new record for the state. A great day for the institution of marriage!

The official repeal of the ban on openly gay people in the army will happen on September 20th.

Congratulations to everyone who helped fight for both of these important steps in getting full equality. Keep it up, and soon everyone in the States will get the freedom they were promised!

The United States Department of Defense is asking for more time before an end to the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the military is considered. U.S. president Barack Obama had campaigned to repeal the ridiculous “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which forbids gays from serving, but has since been silent on the issue.

Over 12,500 gay men and women have been discharged from the United States military under the gay-banning policy, including 219 since President Obama took office. So, while top advisors and the military are all pleading for a delay, my brain is pleading for a sane reason for why this issue could possibly be complicated enough to require all this extensive preparation.

In my web travels, I often collect stories that I intend to share, but then become distracted by newer, shinier stories—or feel too lazy to illustrate them individually. This is what becomes of those stories: a Pile o’ Slaps!

Montreal Simon has an excellent post about an anti-gay group that’s campaigning to have a Pride flag removed from the lobby of St. Michael’s hospital in Toronto. Now, removing the only symbol that indicates gay people won’t be treated differently at the hospital might sound petty, but at least they’re consistent and also support the removal of religious symbols from state build—oh, wait.

A gay penguin couple that had been expelled from a zoo in China for stealing heterosexual penguin’s eggs has been allowed back after protests from zoo visitors. Zookeepers will give the penguins an egg from an inexperienced mother to try and curb the thefts. Religious penguins are furious, calling gay penguinism unnatural and against the teachings of the penguin bible.

Rufus Wainwright, the popular gay folksinger, is in hot water after an interview in which he advocated for equal marriage rights by saying “if you want to marry a dog, why don’t you go ahead and marry a dog, I don’t care.” Well, that ought to convince the religious right to abandon their fight against equal marriage rights. Thanks, Rufus.

Reuters is announcing, for reasons I don’t fully understand, that the recently-opened Shrek musical has a “gay pride element.” And a religious right boycott will start in 3… 2…

Uruguay’s senate has (snicker) supposedly paved the way for same-sex marriage after passing a (chortle) law that allows people to legally change their gender. Tee hee. U-ru-guay.

Finally, and surprisingly, the United States has refused to sign a UN declaration opposing the criminalization of homosexuality worldwide. Many U.S. officials had privately expressed concern that signing the declaration would contradict state laws that allow landlords and private employers to discriminate against gay people. Yeah, why oppose unjust laws abroad if it means facing them at home?

Well, that’s it for today’s Pile o’ Slaps. Have a great weekend, kids!

I had to prepare this before the polls closed yesterday, but I really wanted to send my greetings after your historic election, so I prepared a special message. Just close the appropriate eye to reveal the hidden greeting.

Finally, whatever the outcome happened to be, congratulations on replacing George W. Bush. Here’s to a new era!

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Disclaimer: Slap Upside The Head only deals in metaphorical slaps. Real slaps should be administered only after obtaining notarized written permission from the slapee.