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I love hearing my husband tell me all the sexual things he wants to do to me. Reading about the sexual things he wants to do to me is a very close second. I am a very visual person and when he sets the scenarios through his writing I am at that place and time. I love it!! You can start by writing a paragraph and then take turns expounding on that thought. It can be a real life event that has already happened or think up a brand new, never been done encounter. When my husband goes away on business he will sometimes place one of these stories in a spot where I will just happen to come across them. He leaves them in my bed, in an email, on my computer stand or in my car. Cuddling up with one of his letters sometimes leads to a special phone call but that is another topic.

What are the benefits of writing letters? These letters are a great way to ‘experience’ something that you never would in real life. You can also pretend to be something that you are not. I’ll give you an example. I truly dislike flying. How those pretty, shiny, heavy, shark shaped things stay in the air is beyond me. I will go on airplanes but I do a lot of praying beforehand. In my letters I can be a flight attendant or even a pilot if I wanted to be. It also allows you to talk about a thought or fantasy that you may be embarrassed to bring up face to face. If there is something you want to try but too shy to bring up this may open the door for discussion.

The first time I did send my husband an erotic note he was kind of beside himself. I think he was overwhelmed. If you are thinking that yours may get overwhelmed then just send a short, steamy text message to his phone and see how he reacts. Even a short note describing what you loved about your last encounter may be a way to ease into it. Who knows, this new erotic letter could be your next fantasy come true!!!

Do you have a good body image? I haven’t really for most of my life. There have always been parts of me that I wished were different, but I would say in the last year or so I have come to the place were I really embrace how I am. The only thing I still didn’t like is that I was mildly, but uncomfortably overweight. I had an epiphany quite suddenly this past summer that involved the realization that perhaps I could actually do something to change this. So I made some minor, but effective changes and am well on my way to having a body that I feel better about. So I accepted the things that I could not change and started changing the things that I could.

As this relates to my sexual relationship with my husband, I really hated certain positions that showed the rolls on my belly and I felt like I wanted to give him something better to look at. Of course, he always loved and accepted me and he never said anything derogatory about my body, but he has also appreciated the effort I have made to get fit again. He is doing the same thing, working towards a more fit body and a healthier lifestyle.

Having lost a sizable amount of weight I definitely enjoy looking in the mirror more when we are having sex than I did before. I love running my hands over my thinner frame when we are intimate. Certain positions that were uncomfortable for me before are more erotic and passionate now. Sometimes when we are making love he will run his hands over my back and say “Man, you really have lost weight, haven’t you.” I love that I got victory in this area of my life that was pretty much out of control for quite some time.

What I am saying is that because this was important to me, having made the change has had a positive effect on our sex life, but it was just as important that I come to a place of accepting the parts of me that I could not change. I needed to embrace those things in order to walk confidently into my bedroom and be the sexy wife that I am now. God created me with certain physical features that are unchangeable (unless I was to get surgery of some kind to change it.) If I was still annoyed by my breast size and overly irritated by the shape of my nose, I believe that I wouldn’t be as free in all the areas of my life where I have seen freedom come, including my sexuality.

So I have happily found my way through this balancing act of learning to embrace who I am on every level and I feel better about myself than I ever have. Please know that I do not presume that the exact journey I have been on needs to happen for everyone in the same way it did for me. I needed to change the size of my body, but that may not be the thing God calls you to at this time, or at all for that matter. I do think, though, that all women need to come to a place where they love every part of themselves for it is then that we can be confident in who God has made us which will end up blessing everyone around us, including our husbands.