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Well played!! This is a real workout for the hands. It requires very good right hand picking/muting and very deft left hand work as well. Let's break it down!PICKING HAND:

As I mentioned in your thread, You have very much improved your right hand picking/muting technique. You are picking from the wrist, as is appropriate, NOT from the elbow, so you are able to keep a good mute and keep picking. This has string skipping in it, so keeping a good mute is key. Poor right hand technique would make this impossible to play.

FRETTING HAND:Constant chord change require a very agile fretting hand. Also, there is less than one beat between many of the changes so you have to stick the landing and nail the chord as you play it or it all falls apart. Even though this is a rythm, it's played almost like a lead as it's got a Paul Gilbert vibe and everything he does has elements of lead playing. Complex lead playing at that. You played all the chord and scale bits in key and in time. Nice.

Your work on this lesson is awesome. I've been following your progress for a long time at the mentoring thread and I know that you had to work a lot on groove and dynamics. This take shows that all the hard work really affected your guitar playing.

Your timing is very good here, and I think that you start to show good dynamics control when playing both chords and melodies. Most of those chords and triads sound good, but I think that there is still room to make the changes smoother. The changes are done with the right timing, but in some cases the chords doesn't sound clear on the first beat. This means that you still need to get used to all those chord shapes which is not an easy job at this tempo.

Something similar happens with some phrases, for example the one at 00:36, which sound at tempo but not completely clean. I would isolate these and some of the others to polish the trickier sections.

After listening to original track first I had and impression there there is a little tonal misunderstanding between both versions. Your tone is darker and takes away some of the very clear attack that Fayeed had in his video. But even if we put this into subjective opinion box, there is still an articulation misunderstanding. Notice that some of your muted picked notes disappear in the mix. Fayeed uses a kind of vintage related overdrive that has more of the "mudd" in the background even if you pick firmly. From my perspective his picking is rather medium to hard than soft-to-medium like in your take. I would definitely go for stronger picking and watching yout to not loose the notes in between.

Lick at 0:35 is not ready yet. Knowing you I'm sure you know exactly what happen so it does not need additional comment.

In the second half you seems more confident and licks sit better than what's shown in first half.

I think you could try to brighten the tone a bit. It's a kind of 80's 8th palm muted related lesson so some additional bite would do a good thing. About the gain I actually like the amount you use.

In general you have that habit of attacking the string with your full palm - it's more like strumming made smaller. Rockers often use to push the pick thorugh the string to use additional attack the the sliping pick effects gives. It makes things sound like they are played stronger than they really are.

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