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The word “shit” is just that – a word. Certainly some folks prefer not to say it, hear it or see it, but, well, tough … Seriously, this is still America, right? Tell that to Brian Barnett, who was a Green Party candidate in Arkansas. I don’t know anything about his politics, and I will stipulate that his sign was an incredibly stupid way to try to attract voters. (Attention yes, voters no.) But there’s this thing called the First Amendment …

Barnett was ticked off that the Republican (Reeves) and Democrat (Betts) contenders for a state House seat would not debate him. So he was walking around Searcy, Arkansas with a sign that read:

Debate Brian! Chicken shit; 1. Kyle Reeves; 2. Monte Betts.

Free speech, right? Wrong. Per The Daily Citizen:

“You can probably get away with saying he’s chicken, but since he’s an alderman and a member of the city council, you can’t,” [Patrolman] Johnson told Barnett. “That word is not acceptable.”

Dude, I heard Putin is looking for a few good men. What did Barnett have to say for himself?

Barnett explained the sign to Johnson, saying it was designed to call attention to the refusal of Reeves and Betts to debate him.

When Sergeant Tom McGee arrived, the three went next door to a tire shop and Barnett could be heard offering to change the sign. Within minutes, however, Barnett was arrested, charged with disorderly conduct, apparently for refusing to obey an officer.

UFB. And they cuffed him, and put him in the patrol car! But wait! Someone must have pulled out a pocket Constitution!

Within minutes, Barnett was taken out of the car, given a citation and was allowed to go free. The sign was returned to Barnett and he was told he could stand where he chose with the sign. Barnett, confused as to why he was allowed to continue displaying the altered sign, now showing an “X” over the “i,” was told the matter would be explained to him further at his Nov. 20 court date in White County District Court, Searcy Division.

Confused? I’d say perplexed. Those cops really need to get their shit together!

If you are among those who can look at a piece of bologna and still eat it, that may change after you read this. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch:

[Ex-deputy] Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner’s penis.

What was the evidence that this grade-school prank actually happened?

Cantwell, of Park Point Lane in Lewis Center in Delaware County, and another deputy, Phillip Barnett, photographed the sandwich incident in the Downtown jail. Both were fired by Sheriff Jim Karnes in May.

Photos? Were these guys in a cave when the Abu Ghraib photos were EVERYWHERE? So what was the punishment?

As you’ll soon see, this fella has an appetite for dollar stores, and ice cream sandwiches. As reported by tcpalm.com:

32-year-old Robert Silvia, was arrested Oct. 12 after an assistant manager at a Family Dollar saw a man take “an ice cream sandwich from the front of his pants” and start eating it, a recently released Fort Pierce police report states.

The assistant manager said the man came in the store in the 700 block of South U.S. 1 in Fort Pierce and went to the cooler. The man took something, and left without paying.

“She watched him as he walked across the street to the Dollar Tree store, as he walked he removed an ice cream sandwich from the front of his pants and began eating it,” the report states. “He then entered the Dollar Tree and came out a few minutes later with a drink and then began to walk west on Georgia Ave.”

From the Family Dollar to the Dollar Tree to … the pokey? Yup. The man admitted to lifting the $1.00 ice cream sandwich, and apologized. To no avail. The assistant manager wanted to press charges. You can see the arrest report and the mug shot by clicking here.

If you didn’t get in any trouble as a kid, either you’re very clever, or your childhood was incomplete. But this kid? At only 12, he’s had enough trouble to last him for a long, long time. As reported by www.ksat.com:

In Santa Fe, New Mexico, a 12-year-old boy high on marijuana led police on a chase and eventually rolled his car — and it’s not his first run-in with the law.

He was wearing a monitoring bracelet! Ever heard of a 12-year-old wearing a monitoring bracelet? Here’s how they got the ride:

A representative with the Sheriff’s Office said the boys broke into a home and stole the car’s keys.

Incredibly, after rolling the car, neither the boy nor his 15-year-old buddy were hurt badly. They were, however, arrested when they tried to take off.

Surgery is scary enough. I’d like to know that my doctor is certain that operating while on crack would be a bad thing. It’s not that California ear, nose and throat specialist Li Quang Nguyen actually operated while on crack, but check this out, as reported by the OC Register:

In July 2007, Dr. Nguyen was staying at the Howard Johnson Express in Huntington Beach. Police responded to a call that maids could not enter the locked room for cleaning. Police found Nguyen in a deep sleep. Police removed rock cocaine, a clear vial of liquid cocaine, a glass pipe and a lighter, the documents say.

Hard to say “what crack” in those circumstances, right?

Nguyen admitted to police that he had freebased cocaine the day before but said he was not “hooked,” according to the documents. In April, he pleaded no contest to drug charges and was ordered to enter an 18-month treatment program.

Okay. Looking good, until the disciplinary hearing for his medical license…

… during his hearing, Nguyen said he knew nothing about the drugs and “went so far as to testify that he did not know if it would be dangerous to perform surgery under the influence of cocaine.”

The board’s disciplinary documents say, “He claimed he could not know if this would be dangerous since he had never tried it, but such an assertion made by a trained physician is simply preposterous and rather frightening.”

What, what, what? Dr. Nguyen, who had a previous disciplinary action, had his license revoked. To read more, click here.

Some people smoke weed. Some people believe god tells them to do things. Therefore, some people who smoke weed believe god tells them to do things. No? Of course not. You need not have taken formal logic to know that is complete BS. Nevertheless, there was a young man in West Hartford, who, after smoking weed said he was doing god’s work… As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Police said a Middle Road resident arrived home Sunday and noticed the front door had been kicked in. [Levon T.]Sarkisyan [27], who identified himself as Leon Sark, then walked out the front door and told the homeowner “a light from above told him to do this,” said Farmington police Sgt. Stephen Egan.

Sarkisyan then told the homeowner he’d broken into the house because “God wants me to help the world,” Egan said. He then told the homeowner, “I mean you no harm.”

While in the house, Sarkisyan used a fireplace poker to smash statues, including one of a Roman soldier, and a marble table, causing about $10,000 in damage, Egan said. Sarkisyan also rummaged through closets, took a shower, then dressed in the clothing of a deceased former resident, Egan said.

No harm to you, just your house and your stuff.

The homeowner told Sarkisyan to sit down, then fumbled with a phone trying to call 911, Egan said.

Sarkisyan said, “You see, God will not let you use the phone,” Egan said.

Er, um, okay.

As they waited for police, the homeowner asked Sarkisyan how he broke into the home.

Unless you’ve never seen a movie or tv show, you’re familiar with the cop who makes a mess of things and ends up getting busted down to traffic. So what happens if you are a traffic cop, and you mess up? This gent is almost certainly going to find out. As reported in The New Straits Times:

A traffic policeman was ordered to enter his defence by the magistrate’s court yesterday for ordering a woman motorist to strip at a roadblock.

Say what?

Corporal A.S. Affendi Ahmad Sairi, 41, was charged with ordering Ang Ya Ying, 28, to remove her blouse and with pulling her pants to cause her embarrassment and insulting her modesty in front of a petrol station in Cheras at 1.15am on May 4 last year.

Defence counsel Faizal Abd Rahman told the court that he would be calling three witnesses, including the accused…

Please, tell The Juice that this Connecticut legislator did not just push the button to talk and say that. Alas, he did. As reported by the The New London Day:

State Rep. Ernest Hewett, D-New London, was removed from his post as deputy speaker this week after making an inappropriate remark to a teenager testifying during a committee hearing.

Go on.

During a Feb. 20 Appropriations Committee hearing, a female 17-year-old ambassador for the Connecticut Science Center asked the committee to continue funding the center’s ambassador program.

During her speech, she said the program helped her overcome her shyness and get over her fear of snakes.

“I am usually a very shy person, and now I am more outgoing,” she told the committee. “I was able to teach those children about certain things like snakes that we have and the turtles that we have. … I want to do something toward that, working with children when I get older.”

Near the end of her speech, committee co-chairman state Rep. Toni Walker, D-New Haven, smiled at the girl and made a comment about how the teen was no longer shy.

All this talk about snakes, you can probably see where this is going.

Hewett, 56, recalled Thursday that he then pushed his microphone button to talk and said, “If you are shy, then I have a live snake under this desk.”

Wildly inappropriate does not begin to do justice to this colossally idiotic, insensitive remark.

According to an audiotape of the hearing, Hewett said: “If you’re bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here.”

“What I meant to say was, if you are shy then I have an acre of land in the Everglades,” he said Thursday.

Did the spin work? Nope.

A spokesman for the Democratic caucus, Gabe Rosenberg, said that in reaction to the comment, Hewett has been stripped of his deputy speaker title. He will lose $6,446 from his salary, which means he will make the base legislative salary of $28,000, according to a legislative document.

And because of the incident, legislators who have not been through a sexual harassment training recently will have to take a refresher course, Rosenberg said. Freshman and sophomore legislators recently underwent training, he said.

Admit it. You’ve thought about it. Some jackass steals your parking spot. You want blood (or at least some bruising). But you don’t do anything because … it’s a parking spot. Well, one or both of these gents felt otherwise, per timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

[Franklin] Township police said officers were initially called around 6:40 p.m. Monday to the Giant Eagle parking lot for a report of a pedestrian being struck by a car, but then learned the incident was actually a man who had been assaulted.

Police said two men got into an argument over a parking spot, and one man assaulted the other. The man who was assaulted went to Ellwood City Hospital to be evaluated, but police said they did not believe he suffered any serious injuries.

Police did not release the names of anyone involved. No charges had been filed as of Tuesday night.

No arrest? Perhaps the injured party was the aggressor? Here’s the source.

There’s no shortage of laws out there that need updating. This Mississippi law, which not only outlaws polygamy, but outlaws even teaching about it, is ripe for tweaking.

SEC. 97-29-43. Polygamy; teaching of.

If any person shall teach another the doctrines, principles, or tenets, or any of them, of polygamy; or shall endeavor so to do; or shall induce or persuade another by words or acts, or otherwise, to embrace or adopt polygamy, or to emigrate to any other state, territory, district, or country for the purpose of embracing, adopting, or practicing polygamy, or shall endeavor so to do, he shall, on conviction, be fined not less than twenty-five dollars nor more than five hundred dollars, or be imprisoned in the county jail not less than one month nor more than six months, or both.

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