Weekend a-la Woog

Jack has taken to his new school like a duck to water. All it took was 7 days to confirm life-long friendships with everyone in his class and for his class to vote him in as their SRC Representative.

Life is easy for this kid. I need some of his tenacity and confidence, not to mention his natural flair for putting an outfit together.

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14 Days later…

My sister came over on Friday night to split a bottle of champers to celebrate the fact that I had successfully managed to keep all of my charges alive and ticking during my fortnight of single parenting.

It was just after I opening this bottle that the phone rang. It was Mr Woog telling me that he had fucked up his itinerary and would actually not be home until Sunday morning.

I put the phone down and asked my sister whether in fact Mr Woog had left me, but was too scared to let me know. Which I would not blame him, because he would feel the full wrath of a woman scorned.

It would be most inconvenient as I am unable to get any of the balls down off the roof by myself, and dead rat removal freaks me out no end.

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Would you like penis with your coffee?

It might be a cow skull, or a set of fallopian tubes and a uterus, but to me it was a penis.

Perhaps because I had not seen one for a fortnight.

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Birthday Gift Rockstar

At least it is not a bloody drum kit.

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Dear Paddington, What happened to you?

Paddington is a suburb of Sydney that has been raped and pillaged by a mega mall up the road a bit. It made me sad to visit her. She used to be cool.

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New Year. New Club.

Mr Woog finally showed his face on Sunday Morning having not had the luxury of even one minute’s sleep on the ten hour flight back from Japan. I listened without one ounce of sympathy before declaring that we were all going to the pre-season rugby training session.

Because if there is one thing I know for sure, life does not stop just because you want to.