Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

(I’m a supervisor for a high-traffic box office during a yearly theatre festival. It is a busy spell on a Saturday during closing weekend. A woman runs up to the counter yelling for help, carrying her large child – I’d say around eight years old – cradled in her arms. He is hysterical and I immediately approach her thinking some horrible accident has happened.)

Me: “Are you okay?! What’s happened?”

Lady: “MY CHILD HAS JUST HAD BUBBLES BLOWN INTO HIS EYES! I WANT A FULL REFUND!”

Me:*trying sooooo hard not to smile* “Oh, no! First, can I help your son wash his eyes? We have a tap around the back of—”

Lady:*not moving* “He blew them directly into his eyes. This is absolutely disgusting.”

Me: “Okay, what show did you just see and where was the venue?”

Lady: “We saw Mr. Bubbleman and he was trying to blow his bubbles into the children’s eyes! We even sat at the back of the audience because I had a feeling this was going to happen and now look! I want a full refund and I don’t care about your ‘no refund policy’!”

Me: “I’m so sorry this has happened and while I can’t authorize a refund, I can quickly go speak to the producer of the show about what’s happened and he could possibly refund you directly?”

Lady: “I can’t believe this!” *she’s still holding her giant child* “This service is terrible. Why won’t you help my son? Mr. Bubbleman will lie! He’ll tell you he didn’t do it but he did! If he acts dumb, just you tell him that I’m going to have to go straight to hospital because of him!”

(Her bratty child isn’t even crying anymore and seems to be bored of the situation – trying to wiggle out his mum’s arms.)

Me: “Look, on behalf of the festival, I really apologise. If you stay here, I’ll run over and quickly speak to the producer.”

(I sprint to the venue and grab the producer and start to explain the situation, trying to be careful not to escalate the situation more. Before I even finish, he jumps in and just looks really sad.)

Producer:*sighs* “Yeah, refund her…”

Me: “Really? I mean, that’s total bull-s***! She’s accusing you of deliberately blowing bubbles in the children’s eyes?! I mean, that’s crazy! Your show is a bubble show; wouldn’t you assess the ‘risks’ before you even bought tickets?”

Producer: “Of course I know it’s complete bull-s***, but I learnt quickly in this business not to argue with over-bearing mothers with screaming, spoilt children.”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order one pizza, medium-sized! But it must be medium, okay? I won’t accept it if it’s not medium! It MUST be medium-sized!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, medium-sized. All clear.”

Customer:*after a few seconds still rambling about the size* “The toppings will be extra cheese, extra pepperoni, extra mushrooms, extra pepper, extra onion, extra chicken, extra tuna, and extra corn. Did you get that? But it MUST be medium-sized! I won’t accept it if it’s not medium-sized! And make sure it’s cooked dry; I won’t accept it any other way.”

Me:*confused, trying to take note as fast as I can* “Uhm… yes, ma’am, sure. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, give me two meat lasagnas, two spinach lasagnas, chicken nuggets, french fries, and six bottles of water. Oh, and put the lasagnas in pizza boxes. They MUST be in pizza boxes! I won’t accept them if they’re not in pizza boxes! Read what I asked for.”

(I read her the receipt with all she asked for.)

Customer: “Okay, but the pizza MUST be medium-sized, okay? And bring some napkins. And the bottles of water must be separated in two different bags! I won’t take them if they’re in the same bag!” *click*

(Later, my manager told me that she would call three random days a week, always five minutes before closing, and she’d always ask for the same, but changing certain small details so we couldn’t know beforehand what she’d ask for.)

(I used to work as a sacker at a grocery store, and in Missouri, workers have to be 18 or older to handle alcoholic products. I wasn’t at the time.)

Cashier:*scans customer’s beer* “You’ll have to load this into your cart yourself; he’s too young to handle alcohol.”

Customer: “Oh, come on. I won’t tell anyone. It’s no big deal.”

Me: “Well, it’s against the law.”

Cashier: “Yeah, we could both get fired and charged with a crime.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! I go out of my way to come here, because I think this is a great store, and you treat me like this?! I guess I’ll just shop at [Competitor] from now on! See if I ever come here again!” *grabs beer and leaves in a huff*