Kate Upton Hates Everything That Is Awesome And Good About Her

This news was too important to get lost in the onslaught of Coachella and MTV Movie Awards pics, so here’s Kate Upton saying she wishes she had smaller breasts while recognizing she’d be goddamn nobody without them. NOBODY. Via HuffPost:

That’s right, the 23-year-old admitted to The Sun that she would actually prefer a smaller chest, and thinks Cameron Diaz, someone with a much smaller chest than Upton, has the “perfect figure.” She also has some ideas on how smaller boobs would make her life a little less difficult:
“Oh, man, it would be so much easier,’ especially if people didn’t constantly bring them up… If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons.”

For someone who claims to be a Christian – Although, by definition, that would also make her retarded. – Kate Upton seems pretty hell-bent on throwing away the greatest gift God could’ve possibly given her. He puts those things there for a reason, and that reason is people getting boners while looking at my Internet site for His ways are not ours to understand. Case in point: saving this woman from a bear apparently ranks higher than not giving little kids cancer. He’s mysterious.

It’s easy for us to love them, we don’t have to carry them around. And it does get old never having a heterosexual male look you in the eyes during introductions & conversation.
On the other hand they have given her fame & riches so I’m not feeling a whole lotta sympathy.

I’d be more than happy take on the burden of standing behind her all day holding them up. I would smell her hair all day and wear a pair of thin cotton pants with no underwear and grind my dick between her butt cheeks.

She’s got a stupid movie coming out pretty soon. So of course her handlers are telling her say something “controversial” or “shocking” to stir the media pot. Don’t kid yourselves, she loves those big knockers just like the rest of us.

Ever hear Hamm or Fassbender said:
“Dammit, I so do wish my weiner was smaller! I could wear tighter pants that fits! And vaginas would be much more easier to enter if I didn’t have so much girth! Seriously, I wish I had a baby-dick!”

No, you didn’t. And you never will.

Not spitting at the face of God for the plentiful gifts He bestowed upon them – yet another reason why men are superior to women.

Jon Hamm and Michael Fassbender have both openly complained about the unwanted attention and embarrassment. Also, assuming your own lack of empathy is how the world works doesn’t make men superior to women, it just makes you more of a shithead.

That’s the woman curse, they NEVER HAPPY if they have big boobs, they wish they have small boobs, if they have small boobs they look in the mirror and say look how flat chested I am I wish I have big boobs so I can find a dress that fit me right in the front. If they have straight hair they want curly hair, etc.

WOMEN STOP WHINING ABOUT IT AND EMBRACE your beautiful body!! You’re beautiful the way you are, own your body! :)

As someone with natural DDDs I get where she is coming from with wanting to be able to clip them on and off. Not going to say I hate my breasts, but there are so many things that just aren’t possible. I can’t see my feet, sleep comfortably in any position, they are always knocking things over, if I get something on my shirt again can’t see it don’t know. The male dealers accuse me of cheating with my “distractions” at the 21 table….Those are just a few of the complaints among many many others.

God forbid I ever need to run for my life. The police should just mark it down as murderer because tits were too big to run away.

You’re more than welcome to give up all the money they’ve earned you, Kate.

I guess since she’s in a movie now, she thinks she’s a serious actress and all that shit. Don’t kid yourself, Kate. Your tits got you where you are and they’re your greatest asset. Women cut themselves open to have what you were gifted. Appreciate them.