I was quite excited when Senator Hillary Clinton agreed to be interviewed by the Death Wore a Feathered Mullet news team.

DWAFMLet me start by saying it's a real honor to talk to you. I've been a fan since that "vast right wing conspiracy" quote.

Senator ClintonAnd I've enjoyed your work since that post about getting blown by a stripper behind a dumpster. The whole sordid affair reminded me of Bill in his younger days. Uh...and Bill about a month ago.

Senator ClintonMy candidacy was as unsuccessful as Monica Lewinsky's godawful line of purses. Remember those hideous handbags that spunk-dazed wildebeest tried to sell? I bought one just so I could take a shit in it.

DWAFMWell, on that note we're going to wrap this up.

Senator ClintonHave you ever worked really hard for something your entire fucking life only to have it snatched from you by some fast talking upstart?