Thursday, September 10, 2009

Remembering...

So, I know many people are expecting me to say something today, and I can understand that. I'd be curious too if I were in your position; wondering how I'm getting on in life. I've been thinking about this day for the last couple of weeks and wondering how I would be affected and how I would remember Amy. Then, through a series of everyday events – watching movies, reading books, hanging out with Gary and my family, interacting with my sisters-in-law online and over the phone, and a couple of Bible verses that have stood out to me in recent weeks – I came to the realization that even though this day is the anniversary of Amy's death that's not how I want to remember this day. And while I miss Amy and so often wish that she were still part of my everyday life, I didn't want to make today about remembering her life either. I do that everyday in my interactions with Gary, my family and friends anyway. Amy comes up in conversation several times a day. She was a huge part of my life and always will be. What struck me though was something that has been at the forefront of my mind since Amy was first diagnosed: the frailty of life and how quickly things can change. It is with that base thought and the continued revelation of ideas over time (and the last few weeks in particular) that I decided I want to use the anniversary of Amy's death to remember, but to remember to take the time I so often forget to take and make sure that I let all those people I care about and mean something to me know how much I care and appreciate them in my life – even if I haven't had contact with them (you) for years.

So, it is with that in mind that I say thank you for what you mean to me and/or how you've influenced my life and/or how I can count on you.

When an update showed up in my bloglines account this morning from you, I was sort of confused. Your blog has long been one of no updates and while I have thought of you, Amy and Gary in the past, it's been a while since you were in the forefront of my mind and prayers. Coming off a three week period where our family has experienced the losses of a young friend (5 years old!), a friend's mother, and our own grandfather, I have these thoughts swirling around in my head every moment of the day. When I looked back and saw that your precious Amy departed this world two whole years ago, I was shocked - how could it have been that long ago?! I know for you, the ache is great and the memories still fresh and I wish for you peace and joy.

Thank you for sharing your and Amy's story and love with so many.

Many prayers for continued grace for you and Gary and the rest of your family.

I have to echo Holly in that I've lost two special people recently (within a week of each other). AND, I 100% agree with how you handled this anniversary. I've been doing that more this past month, too, as it seems the only practical and useful way to remember the life and death of special people: Remember the people I still have and thank them for their ministry in my lie.

Thank you for being used as an instrument to all of us. You wouldn't have chosen this method of ministering to us, but God has perfectly chosen it for you. You're showing His grace in your life and giving Him glory. We'll remember your example when we're faced with hard times of our own.

Still thinking of you Amy after all this time. Still returning here...Still looking at photos of her to be reminded that God is gracious and merciful and ... God.

Still thinking of you and Gary and praying that the Lord is blessing you immensely. Gary must be getting old enough now to ask questions...tell him for me that his mama was such a wonderful influence on so many of us that never had the honor to meet her.

such a good post, gary. i am Livi's grandmother (Who's the cutest girl around blog) gigi. i still read your blog periodically, and it is good to see the "progress" we survivors make. my daughter last posted that she doesnt want us all to remember livi as our darling who lost her battle with leuemia, but how cute and unique she was. our lives have forever been changed of course. though we don't often "feel" god's grace...it has got us this far. the acceptance of him as a loving father who allowed this time in our lives, i am still praying for that, and know that we will never truly understand his will...but that will come in time also. g. allen

Thank you for this blog. I'm sorry that you lost Amy. I am too diagnosed with Leukemia AML. I am currently undergoing the first round of Chemo. It is interesting to read this blog. I am 22 years old male, an engineering student 4th year. I will win this battle with AML, to inspire those who has this illness. Thanks for the blog.

I am taking vicodin and Lortab on prescription but I know it can have consequences if not used properly, so it is important to be well informed about all kinds of drugs we prescribe for health care, even more so today can take any cold and whether the weak, complícate other illnesses.

Timeline

August 2007 - Clofarabine & Cytarabine with possible second transplant

August 2007 - Intrathecal Methotrexate

June - July 2007 - FLAG w/ mylotarg

April 2007 - AML M4 MLL-ELL Diagnosis

March - June 2007: Experimental DLIs

March - June 2007: Decitabine 5/28

November 2006 - Allogeneic Stem Cell Transplant (brother)

September 2006 - Salvage Regimen - MEC

July 2006 - Reinduction - Cytarabine & Daunarubicin 5/2

July 2006 - Induction - Cytarabine & Daunarubicin 7/3

July 2, 2006 - AML M4 Diagnosis

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, 'I believed, and so I spoke,' we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:5-18