Thursday, March 21, 2013

Sometimes You Just Have to Vent

By Brody Gibson

President
Obama is visiting Israel. Rumor has it that he is going to encourage
Israel to return the region of Judea and Samaria, or also known by the unHebrew
sounding "West Bank," to Arab rule. After all it was part of the
Kingdom of Jordan just over 60 years ago; never mind that it was Jordan who
attacked Israel and the new, under-armed nation of Israel drove them back to
the east side of the Jordan River. The Arab nations, President Obama, and
some of the rest of the world are of the opinion that Israel is "illegally
occupying" this West Bank territory. In essence, the President is saying,
"If Jordan would have known they would lose the West Bank in their defeat
in a premeditated attack, they wouldn't have attacked; now, even though they
are not sorry for their action, pretty please, Israel, play nice and give back
their land - not to Jordan but these poor Palestinian refugees - because none
of the other Arab countries want them or are willing to give land to them - so
that there can be a State of Palestine."

If I were an American Indian, native American or whatever politically correct
term one would use, I would be very encouraged by the pressure that President
Obama is placing on Israel. Here is why: In 1830, President Andrew Jackson
signed the Indian Removal Act. The intent was that whites would live east of
the Mississippi River while the area west of the Mississippi was
"reserved" for the Indians. The government provided a trail for the
Indians by which to get to this reserved land - maybe you have heard of the
Trail of Tears? In 1865, just 35 years later, the lure of fertile lands in the
west and the dense populations of the big cities of the east gave birth to the
Westward Expansion. Horace Greeley gave the advice "Go west, young man,
and grow up with the country." Thus began the occupation of the West
Bank - of the Mississippi, that is.

Now, if President Obama feels that it is reasonable that Israel should turn
over a huge portion of her land, so that a people who are refugees from nearby
Arab countries that would not have them, could become the nation of Palestine,
wouldn't it be just as reasonable that America should give back land to the
Native Americans? There actually was a Sioux Nation and a Cherokee Nation, etc.
- there was never a Nation of Palestine - the Romans and Byzantines merely
denoted the region as Palestine.

Maybe it would work like this: Everything west of the Mississippi River would
be given to the Native American Indian. For those of us that live in this area,
we would have to vacate our property and head east - well, not me and my wife
because we have Indian ancestors - but all you non-native Americans of
European, Asian and African descent will have to move. Your houses will be
razed and the property will deeded to the Indian Nation. The eastern states
will gladly absorb and care for the influx of this new population. Mayor
Bloomberg has demonstrated his great concern for the public welfare. So pack what
you can carry (excluding your guns, of course) and head east.

Since the Indians did live on lands of the east and since they have been so
peaceful about the way they have been treated and have not threatened to wipe
America from the map, we should be immensely appreciative. We should award some
eastern land to the Indians to do with as they please - to show our
appreciation. So, Congress shall pass a law giving a narrow corridor or zone of
land reaching from the south west corner of Pennsylvania all the way east to
Manhattan (Remember that Manhattan was "bought/stolen" from the
Indians for $24). This law will be known as the Great Appreciation Zone Act. We
will call this the GAZA strip. There is a huge field just outside of Gettysburg
that would be a great place for a casino. Further east in Philadelphia is the
spot, before the land was civilized, where ancient medicine men communed with
the Great Spirit. Only for the last 200+ years this spot has been known as
Independence Hall. Don't worry. We will still be allowed to visit this place;
though during our visit we can not wear red, white and blue, show any form of
patriotism or move our lips because it may be construed that we were saying the
Pledge of Allegiance and this could incite some of the more sensitive folk. A
security force known as the Wise And Quick Footed (WAQF) will speedily
intervene should any protocol be violated. It will be a difficult adjustment
but we should not expect everyone to appreciate how sacred or special these
places are to some of us.

We must know that there will probably be some Native Americans that will not be
satisfied with this offer. There will probably be a group that will Harass And
Manipulate American Subjects (HAMAS). You have to realize they are just acting
out on years of pent up frustration. Also, be prepared for much of the rest of
the world to be very sympathetic and supportive of their efforts.

Now, I hope this sounds absurd to you. Perhaps you smiled while reading it. I
did not mean to provoke a smile. I meant to provoke thought.

I doubt President Obama will see this. If I could address him, I would say
this:

Mr. President, it takes much hubris to go to Israel in my name, at my expense
and to tell my friends they are taking up too much space. You asked Mr.
Medvedev for patience until after your re-election so that you would have more
latitude with which to deal with Israel. You did not defend Mr. Netanyahu when
Mr. Sarkozy slighted and insulted him. To prepare for your trip to the Middle
East you met with, in my White House, two anti-Israeli groups with a record of
pro-Hezbollah advocacy. In your first year as President you went to Egypt and
made a most conciliatory speech to the Muslim world; now, in your fifth year as
President, you visit Israel and will boycott the Knesset? Mr. Obama, you
should not be surprised if your arrival at Ben Gurion is not appreciated nearly
as much your departure.