Not the sculptor, the Ninja Turtle. According to the theme song (written by Chuck Lorre!) he “does machines.” I feel like this is a problematic thing to suggest about a guy who once built a life size anthropomorphic turtle android, but that’s just me. 2.7/5

This is a charity which trains helper monkeys for people with spinal injuries who can’t grab things for themselves. It’s a worthy end goal, but I hope they’re only using monkeys as a stopgap until tiny robots are an option, because monkeys are the worst. They’re like people minus all the redemptive aspects of people. 3.5/5

This is a cat with a mutation, like the one that dachshunds have, that makes their legs too short. It’s not something I support. You shouldn’t make broken animals if you can help it. Still, it’s not their fault they were born with lil’ leggums, and I would pet them forever. I just wouldn’t let them have babies. 4.9/5

There’s a lot of people whose main impression of Siamese cats were gotten from that racist song in that Disney movie about cats. Here’s the real things you need to now. They love to play and meow. The former is fine, but I find the latter bewildering, because I don’t speak cat. 4.2/5

It seems like this cat breed was engineered to look elderly, but the breed itself was invented in the early 2000s, and my cat, that my mom worked up a crying jag to steal from me right before I got married and moved out, was born at the same time, and she’s still alive, so they can’t be that old. I want to pet one. I mean, that’s true of me and all cats, but it’s still true with this one. 4.1/5