Category Archives: Friendships

This year I decided to pick three words that I hope will describe the upcoming 365 days in 2014. Adventure. Stability.Growth. These three words have multiple meanings to me, but in summary the words are synonymous to the goals that I will work towards achieving this year.

2013 started off a bit rough, but as the months passed on, I started to move my life in the right direction – where I wanted to go. You can read my 2013 recaps HERE and HERE if you missed them last week.

2014 Goals:

Professional:

Grow in my job – I have been in my current job for just over 3 months now and I really love it thus far. Throughout my public health graduate studies, I would have never thought that I would find a job in healthcare technology. It was a topic that never really interested me; however, now that I work in the field, I love it. Not only is healthcare technology important in the United States, but globally, where my heart lies in global health and international development. My job is challenging and rewarding. Each week I am learning new skills that will only improve my work quality and also aid in my future career development. In 2014 I look forward to working hard, learning new skills, and furthering my future career path.

Grow my business – If you have read my blog for a while you have probably noticed the changes over the past couple of months. I plan to officially launch my new business in a couple of weeks. I started my own coaching and personal training business because it is my passion and I find great satisfaction in helping people achieve their goals. I don’t plan to make a million dollars in my business, but a few extra dollars to help pay my student loans would be nice. I have some interesting plans and opportunities in the future so stay tuned for future developments! 🙂

Learn French – This has been one of my goals from early fall 2013. I want a future career in global public health and international development, thus I need to become bilingual, or at least competent at a second language. I’ve been slowly practicing my language skills via software programs, but I will continue in 2014 with french lessons at The Language Exchange in Portland. I don’t naturally pick up language quickly, so this is going to be a tough goal, but it is necessary and important for my future career goals.

Personal:

Become more financially stable – The last couple of years have been a bit tough financially. Last year I took a risk with my career and it did not pan out as well as I hoped. The last couple of years were also riddled with unexpected purchases, i.e. lots of car repairs and health bills. My graduate student loans also kicked in and I quickly realized that about a third of my monthly income goes directly to SallieMae and Nelnet. Awesome. With my new job I received an increase in pay from my old one. I need to buy a new car some point this coming year and thus I have begun to put some cash away for that big-ticket item. I’m still driving my little car until it dies for good (or is going to cost me a zillion dollars to fix). I also plan to stash some money away again into my emergency fund since it became low due to said expensive car repairs. For the past few months I have created budgets and reviewed my spending habits to determine where I can cut back. Going into 2014 I feel pretty comfortable with my monthly budget and I have been researching ways to live more frugally. Stay tuned for that journey.

Travel – It’s ironic that one of my main goals is to save more money and live frugally, but I also seek adventure outside the US. I haven’t been to a new country in a couple of years and thus, 2014 is the year I discover a new part of the world. My mind has gone crazy with ideas, but I yet to commit to anything yet. I may travel to South America with a friend, go on a medical mission to a developing country, or take a solo trip to Southeast Asia or Europe. I love daydreaming about traveling the world and I know this year will be the year of an adventure. Anyone looking for a travel buddy? 🙂

Volunteer more – This past fall I joined the Junior League of Portland, Maine and have met some pretty fabulous and inspiring women. The organization is built on giving back to the community, which is one of the main reasons I joined. I look forward to volunteering around the community with the JLP, but I also hope to give back to my community in other ways. I have been researching various organizations related to my career interests and will be making contact soon so hopefully I can help in any way needed.

Read a book once a month (or more) – I love to read and you periodically will have book reviews on my blog. For a collection of old book reviews click HERE. I’m an avid reader and I usually read daily, whether job related papers or pleasure reading. My goal in 2014 is to finish a book at least once a month; however, I would like to read more than just 12 books a month. Heck, in the past 5 days I have almost finished all three Hunger Games books. 🙂 I have a stack of half-finished books so I will start my reading list there.

Health & Athletic:

Injury Prevention – I plan to focus a lot this year on injury prevention and prehab. I was struck with a lot of hip/knee/IT-band issues last triathlon season and I don’t want a repeat this year. Now that I’m confident that my chiropractor and I have identified the underlying cause of my chronic right hip issue, I know where to target my prehab exercises. Much of my issues are fascia-related, which often take 12-18 months to fully heal and thus it will be a long-term goal to return to normal human movement patterns.

Weight – I’ve mentioned before that I’ve struggled with disorder eating in the past. I still have relapses often and thus I need to focus on living healthy and forgive myself when I make mistakes. I’m so use to negative talk about my body image that sometimes it is often tough to shake a stick at it. I’m slowly accepting my body and learning to create a healthy body image through exercise and a “diet” that works for my body. I’ve played with different “diets” (note: I use the term diet to refer to food in general, not your typical diet to lose wieght) over the past couple of years and have discovered what works and doesn’t work for me. I will continue on this journey over the next 12 months.

Triathlon – I announced my tentative 2014 race schedule about a month ago. You can view it HERE. My “A” race is Timberman 70.3 in August with a few local races spattered in between. I tried to keep my race schedule light this year to save money (racing is expensive!), making sure I keep my body healthy, and also to enjoy other fun things in Maine, like hiking, rock climbing, and go to the beach with friends just for fun (apparently brining your wetsuit to swim is frown upon with “normal” people). I would love to qualify for Age Group Nationals. If I qualify for this coming season then I won’t go because Timberman is so close, but I would consider 2015 depending on the locale. My very, very far-reaching goal who be to qualify for 70.3 Worlds at Timberman but the chances of that happening would be that of me winning the lottery (and I would actually have to purchase a lottery ticket to do so)!

So what are your 2014 goals? Anything fun and exciting? Want to travel together?

Since today is the last day of 2013 I should probably start my Year in Review posts. Hmm… I’ll keep this one to more of the highlights and photos. But, 2013 was a good year. It started off a bit rough, but ended with many good things happening. I can’t complain.

January

January was a month of ups and downs. I just finished my MPH degree in December and began my job search. Some decisions made by my boss at work made me extremely stressed since I wasn’t sure I was going to have a job. This caused me become sick often, which hindered a lot of my tri training, which began on the 1st of the year. Things at the gym were also unusually slow so professionally and financially I was stressed. However, I got my degree in the mail so it made things more real!

February

Picking the pace up!

I ran the annual Mid-Winter Classic 10-Miler again. It went way better than my disaster of 2012 race where I ran sick and came really close to DNFing. However, I still treated the day more of a training run than anything because I was learning I lost all my running aerobic fitness over my Fall running hiatus due to plantar fasciitis. I also learned important lessons in time management. Working three jobs and training for an Ironman is not fun or easy to do.

March

My mother, my sister and I (1989)

Azul and I celebrated our One Year anniversary. I love that bike! I also celebrated the 4 year anniversary of my mother passing, which is never easy to do. I miss her everyday.

April

Done!

I started April off with a bang! I ran the Race the Runways Half-Marathon again, this time as a training run. It was insanely cold and windy, but I had great company throughout the race. The next day I developed a 102 fever and was out for a couple of days. Go figure! Towards the end of the month I began to develop a bit of a twinge in my right knee. I also went to the USAT Level One Coaching clinic and became a certified coach!

May

Tammy, Myself, Marisa, and Beth – all taking home hardware after a great race!

That twinge in my right knee developed into full-fledge IT-Band issues that plagued me for the rest of the summer. I managed to race the PolarBear Tri… barely. Miraculously, I placed 3rd in my age group.

June

Patriot Half Aquabike

My run training was extremely limited. I saw my chiropractor at least once a week to help heal my IT-Band issues. I dropped down from the Half-Ironman to the Half Aqua Bike at the Patriot Half. I had a good day, pacing myself like I would at Lake Placid. However, I almost ran over both turkeys and geese on the bike.

July

I became an Ironman! I celebrated yet another epic 4th of July with my favorite family and began my final build to the big day. My Ironman day went as planned. My knee held out to mile 18ish of the run before I was forced to walk the rest of the way, but I finished my goal, and that was to become an Ironman.

August

Enjoying a day at the beach

August was a recovery month. I spent a lot of time with friends and family. Towards the end of the month I began running again slowly just to rebuild my horrible running fitness. I had several promising job interviews. I also left my job at the gym I was working at to go off on my own to start my own business.

September

I finally got offered a job! A great deal of stress was lifted off of me. I continued running easily until my pelvis decided to twist itself again. Awesome. I then began another running hiatus and began my yoga addiction.

October

Hot Yoga Time!

I became addicted to hot yoga and it was fabulous. I saw my chiropractor at least once a week to convince my pelvis not to split into two. I was happy as a clam at my new job and I joined the Junior League of Portland, Maine.

November

One of my favorite quotes of the year!

I continued with my yoga binge, loving every minute of it. I was slowly cleared to return to “normal” training. I mostly rode my bike, but ran a few times. It hurt.

December

Skiing at Shawnee Peak

I skied for the first time since my mother died almost five years ago with a friend. More to come of this in the next week or so. I’ve slowly been building my aerobic base again, mostly through cycling.

During the summer of 2007 I had the opportunity of a lifetime… I was accepted into the very prestigious summer student research program at The Jackson Laboratory. The Jackson Laboratory, or Jax for short, is the top mammalian genetics lab in the world where cutting-edge research takes place daily. Every summer a select group of students from across the country live at HighSeas, a laboratory owned mansion on the ocean, and work with some of the top cancer, obesity, etc. researchers in the world.

Bar Harbor is a small, tourist town located on Mount Desert Island about 3 hours north of Portland. Mount Desert Island is home to Acadia National Park, the oldest park east of the Mississippi. The Island offers a wide range of activities from art galleries, the beach, to many mountains to hike. It’s a great place to be during the summer months.

I spent my days that summer conducting ovarian cancer research in mice. I spent my nights and weekends exploring the Island and town with my fellow students. Of course, me being a native Mainer, I had the pleasure of introducing my out-of-state friends “the way life should be.” Items included blueberry ice cream, lobster (and lobster ice cream), and red hot dogs.

Below are some of my favorites memories of the summer. Not only did I have a summer of a lifetime, but I made some really good friends. 🙂

The coastline is absolutely stunning (and some of the summer homes are just as amazing)!

Part of the lab

I did lots of hiking that summer on the various mountains.

Sunset from Cadillac Mountain, which is the highest mountain within 25 miles of the shoreline in North America

Part of the Summer Student Program is cooking on the weekend (we had a cook during the week, tough life I know). I loved the American flag apron!

We spent time at Sand Beach

Each summer the Summer Students participate in the 4th of July Parade… this year we were Astronaut Mice (Jax is known for its mice)

I was a tree hugging Astronaut Mouse

One of the best ways to explore the Island is via scooters. You can rent them in town and it is so worth it!

Bar Harbor is a great place to visit. Summer is the busy season and the town pretty much shuts down during the winter. I’ve visited during the Fall months too and Island is just as beautiful as the summer (just fewer people!). I highly recommend a visit to Mount Desert Island if you ever find yourself in Maine. And try the lobster ice cream while you’re there! 🙂

Montana is my favorite place for multiple reasons. The first being the people. You can’t beat the Montanans. They are absolutely some of the nicest people on the planet. The second is the environment. The state is stunning! You have the Rockies in the West, Yellowstone to the South-east, and the prairies as far as the eye can see. Montana is an outdoorsmen’s dream. You can spend the summers hiking in the mountains, rock climbing the local crags, or floating the Madison River. In the winter you can ice climb, ski, or just enjoy one of the many local microbrews by the fire!

During the summer of 2008 I had the opportunity to spend the summer conducting biomedical research at Montana State University in Bozeman. It is by far one of my favorite summers to date. Not only did I fall in love with the town, but I made some of my best friends there that I still stay in touch with today. I have also gone back to Montana multiple times to visit. Someday I would love to make a permanent move there, but I know that won’t happen any time soon. But a girl can dream!

Montana is known as “Big Sky Country,” which if you are good at putting two and two together… is what I named my coaching company after! You can read a little more about that here…

Now, for all the pictures you all really want to see!

Ferry Lake in the Bridger Mountains

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone National Park

Seeing your first bison is super cool, but after being stuck in a 3-hour traffic jam in Yellowstone because the herd enjoys hanging out in the road is not so cool…

Rock climbing in Gallatin Valley!

The view from Big Sky during the winter

At the Black Foot Reservation on the way to Alberta, Canada

Fishing and no I didn’t catch anything…

More rock climbing in Gallatin Valley

On one of the many nights I enjoyed a good beer downtown Bozeman… I met a new friend 🙂

Hiking in Gallatin Forest (in the rain) with some of my labmates

Have you been to Montana? I highly recommend visiting at least once in your life. The people, the food, the beer, and the views are incredible year-round. And if you ever need a tour guide, let me know! 🙂

Build was going good. Week one was solid. Week two was good. Then week three was the holiday week. It was a good week, but it was rather lackluster compared to what it should have been.

I spent most of the week at my best friend’s camp on Little Ossipee Lake, which is really one of the highlights of my year. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. Okay, maybe it’s tied for Thanksgiving. I love me some turkey! 🙂

Last Monday night I did 4400 yards in the pool and it went really freaking well. I swam partly with a couple local swim team girls that definitely kept me working and then partly on my own. I haven’t swam that many yards in one sitting since high school and I was pleased how well it went.

Tuesday night was spent at camp. I got in a short 3 mile jaunt before it was booze cruise time. We took a quick cruise around the lake then J’s mom decided she was going to drive the boat until to boys and J’s sister arrived. And, by driving I mean it was more or less gunning the boat and circling around. I was definitely hanging onto my beer with white knuckles! Once everyone arrived it was back to the normal booze cruise speed and the rest of the night was history… and I ended up staying up way past my bedtime!

A borrowed picture of one of my favorite places!

Wednesday I got up early to swim before all the boat came out of their boathouses. Somehow my wetsuit has gone missing so I had to swim sans wetsuit. I didn’t swim very long, but enough to get comfortable in open water again. Later that morning I got a call from a woman I had interviewed in early June for a position that I really really wanted. I didn’t get the job. I was second choice, which is bittersweet. She gave me some great feedback and said that she believes that I will go far in the public health field, but I just need more experience. No shit. That’s my problem, trying to find a job to get said experience. That news definitely set the tone for the day for me and really the week.

I got a good pep talk from the girls and tried putting the bad news aside and focused on having some fun. I managed to get out on my bike for an easy 20+ mile ride and then ran home to grab my dog to bring her to the lake. Reagan LOVES to swim. Plus, she makes me feel better. Except when she decides that she needs to sleep with me on the tiny little cot I had! At least this year I didn’t have to carry her down the stairs like the previous years. My dog has some sort of irrational fear of wooden stairs and refuses to go down them unless I carry her. A 50 pound hairball gets quite heavy at times. I can’t judge her too much though, I have an irrational fear of bologna…. don’t ask…

Some of my favorite girls!

Thursday. Happy 4th of July! It was a perfect day. Sunny and hot (unlike most of the Maine summer weather thus far). I got up early and headed out for my long run. I attempted to run around the lake, which I estimated would be about 10 miles. However, I’m a bit directionally challenged and got lost. The first 90 minutes went well. Knee was holding up well and I was content with my slow ass pace. I got honked at by some creeping old man. Awesome. The rest of the morning was spent drinking mimosas by the lake until everyone rolled in. Lots of adult beverages were consumed along with lots of food that I probably shouldn’t have eaten. Oh well. So worth it.

I ended up missing a couple of key workouts. However, at the end of the day I don’t think it’s going to matter too much. The real work as been done. Ironman athletes are truly made in the winter. All those long boring miles on the trainer and treadmill build the endurance you need for race day. My training has not gone as planned. Many people have asked me about my estimated finishing time. When I first started training back in January I had an idea of what time I wanted to finish by. However, with all the roadblocks I have hit over the course of the past 7 months, I just want to finish (preferably in one piece).

Oh yea, I rode my bike 109 miles on Sunday… The turn around point of my ride

This week is going much better training wise. I’m back on the ball. Mentally I’m in a much better place too. Now that I’ve had a week to digest the fact that I didn’t get the job I really wanted, I’m beginning to think about what’s next. I started to put a plan in place and I definitely feeling good about it. The mojo is coming back! Time to get this Ironman thing done with! 🙂

I’m in a rut. It began a little before Rev3 and the hole has since grown and at this point I don’t know how to get out. The hole is now 6 feet deep and the dirt is slowly piling up on me. I can see the blue sky above me and hear the giggles of happy people around me. The dirt is in my nailbeds as a claw to get out, but it just keeps coming. Slowly suffocating…

Growing up as a child I was always very shy and quiet. My teachers always told my parents and I at my conferences that I needed to talk more and express my opinions. All through school I was scared to express my feelings and thoughts verbally because I was afraid of what my peers would think. I chose to write. I enjoy writing. I find I can express myself better in the written form. I think part of it stems from the fact that while in elementary school I saw a speech pathologist on a weekly basis because I had speech problems. I have always been embarrassed by that because I know they still exist even today.

Finally in college I began to find my “voice.” I began to speak out more and step on of the shy little girl shell. I realized that I could be that empowering woman who didn’t give two shits what people think. But this past year I have slowly fallen back into that shy, scared little girl who has been hiding under her “blankie” for protection.

Writing this blog has allowed me to begin to express my thoughts again. I knew when I started one that I was putting myself out there for ridicule. I write mainly for myself. Sure, I could write in a journal and keep it private, but what I love about blogging is that you can express feelings and emotions and have someone a world away tell you “hey, I’m going through the same thing” and you realize that you’re not alone in this world.

Life has a cruel sense of humor at times. I’ve had a good life so far. I have food to eat, clothes on my back, a job, a family, and a good education. Billions of people around the world don’t have many of those things. But there are a lot of things I question. Many of which are petty and selfish, like why I have to get plantar fasciitis and not be able to run…

This year has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. Running has been my savior for this as strange as that may sound. I’ve always hated running, but this year I fell head-over-heels with it. I have realized recently that the reason I love running is that it’s my escape from reality. I can just throw my shoes on and run out the door. Sure, running is still very painful for me. It use to make me stop and hate it. Now, I run through that pain. It makes me feel alive. It makes me realize that I can deal with all the pain and frustration in my life.

With my injury at the moment I can’t run and it is killing me. I have so much frustration that I need and want to vent, but I can’t. I just want to let loose and feel the pain. I want the pain. I desire the pain. I want to experience that moment when I realize that the pain is my body telling me I am alive and I am capable of anything…

This weekend the dirt began piling up on me much faster. For the past almost two years a chapter in my life was being written. It was non-fictional, but had the makings of a beautiful fictional novel. I could see the happy ending. Unfortunately, the chapter has ended tragically and I am very much upset over the ending. You can’t control non-fiction. It’s a true life story. Sometimes the story doesn’t end the way you want it even though you’ve tried over and over again to yell at the characters to knock some sense into them. I love to read. There is not much else better in the world then curling up with a good book in bed and getting lost in the story. But, I think that’s the problem I have. I got lost in my story. All night I have been tossing and turning and “re-reading” parts of the chapter to find out where the story went wrong. I honest to God believed that the story was going to potentially have many more lifelong chapters, but the pen has stopped.

I have writers block. How do I get over this and move on and write new chapters? Is the story really over or does it just need a break?

I’m lying in my self-dug hole with the pages of my chapter gripped tightly in my hands. I can feel the blood and tears flow down my hands. Slowly, the characters are throwing fistfuls of dirt on top of me. The dirt is getting heavy. I’m just waiting for a new character in my life to sweep in and extend a hand to help dig me out.

I’m doing Three Things Thursday on Saturday because, well, I was busy on Thursday and I like to beat to the march of my own drum. I’m currently in the middle of cooking dinner (aka experimenting in the kitchen) and I have some time to blog. This week was stressful. I mean crazy stressful. I was dealing with stress about my car, work, school, and personal stuff. I’m actually impressed that I held it together so well. However, there are a few things that I feel I need to address/vent about, hence, the three things.

1. Cars – I mentioned in a previous post that my car died. My father brunt out my clutch, plus it was way overdue for a timing belt. We brought it to our mechanic two weeks ago for his assessment on whether it was worth fixing or if I should be buying a new car. Neither a new car or extensive car repairs were in my current budget. Luckily, I had a huge tax return coming (which was suppose to buy my new tri bike) so that alleviated some stress, but I still had to rearrange my budget to fix my car and also buy my new bike (priorities, I know). My car was fixed and I just dished out almost $2000 to fix it today. Yikes! My mechanic said I should get at least another two years out of it. He better be right. I was driving my sister’s car earlier this week and had a flat tire on Monday. My father filled it with air that morning and assumed it was just a slow leak (he’s been filling it with air every couple of months so it was reasonable guess). On Tuesday my boss told me it was flat again. Awesome! I called AAA and they came and put the doughnut on it. Then I got to drive my father’s car for the rest of the week. And then three deer ran in front of me while leaving work on Thursday night. I saw them in time to stop, but they scared the bejesus out of me! The last thing I needed to do was hit a deer with my father’s car.

2. Overtraining – Last Sunday I worked out with my personal trainer for an hour, had an hour swim, and also did a 1.5 hour ride on the trainer. It was a rather normal Sunday training routine and I had three great workouts! I posted on my facebook page about it and a friend made a rather rude and baseless comment about it. I was very pissed off about the comment because it was completely baseless. Overtraining is a serious issue that needs to be addressed (I’m working on a blog post about it, which hopefully I’ll finish next week). Yes, I’ve had some tough and sometimes long workouts, but that is the life of an endurance athlete. I have two half Ironmans this year with the hopes of an Ironman next year. I’m not some fat ass who one day decided to put the bag of chips down and get my obese ass to the gym and overdo it in the first week causing injury. I have an aerobic base where I can do long workouts and be completely fine the next day where I repeat more workouts. I understand and place a priority on rest, recovery, and good nutrition. I also know what my body can and cannot handle. I understand the biochemistry and physiology behind the body while it exercises and recovers. AND I’m not stupid! My biggest pet peeve is when someone talks down to me like I’m an idiot. I’m no Albert Einstein, but I’m not stupid! What really pissed me off about the comment was that it insinuated that he knew better than me. In reality, he does not know what my body can handle and what my current training schedule has been. See number 3.

3. Friendships – I wanted to have a little chat with the person mentioned above about his comment because it really upset me and I was upset all week. He texted me today because he needed to get something from me and I told him I wanted to have a little chat about his comment because it really pissed me off. His reply was that he didn’t care and I should just get over it. That upset me even more! I might have even shed a few tears over it because it hurt me. I consider him to be a really good friend and I’ve always respected his opinion. We’ve always had a bit of a weird relationship, but he’s never been a complete asshole before. Deep down, I know he is a good person and someone I admire.

In college I was heavily involved in politics. During a particular election cycle I supported a different candidate from a different college that I strongly believed in and not the one that everyone in my college club supported. At the time I lived with my best friend and few other people. One night when I was downstairs making dinner her boyfriend decided to go into my room and onto my personal computer and post something rude on my facebook under my name. I was very pissed off about it and in retrospect probably didn’t handle the situation the best way I could have. However, both my best friend and her boyfriend completely lied to my face that they had no idea who would have done that to me. I have not talked to her since then and I will not until she wants to apologize for her poor behavior. I highly value friendships and I will bend over backwards to help a friend out if I need too. However, I do not tolerate jackasses in my life. Life is too short to waste time on people who don’t care about you and your well-being. I’m currently not on speaking terms with the person who made the rude comment about my training. He is certainly entitled to his own opinion, but he needs to realize that he made the comment in poor taste. It really hurt my feelings and I have since deleted the comment. And, now he doesn’t care that he hurt my feelings. I would really like an apology, but I’m not sure that it will ever come. I’m currently sitting at the crossroads wondering if I should just brush it off or stay true to my gut that is telling me to say “screw you, you suck.” All I really want to hear is “Hey, I’m sorry I communicated my comment in a poor taste. I am worried about your training and if you might be doing too much too soon. Let’s talk about it.” Is that too much to ask for?

Twitter: bigskytri

Disclaimer: I am a certified personal trainer and endurance sport coach; however, please use common sense when trying out any new exercises. Check with your health care provider before starting any new exercise program. All opinions expressed on this site are solely my own.