Come Dine With Me – Ten dishes you definitely don’t want to cook

Come Dine With Me has done the whole of Britain a fantastic national service, by flagging up whose homes we would want to avoid eating in. Here’s five we wouldn’t RSVP to in a hurry.

Linda Robson

Not even Linda looks impressed with what looks more like slop than rice pudding (Picture: Channel 4)

Linda’s appearance on a celebrity version of the show proved that just because a person is famous, it does not automatically mean they are able to cook. Prior to opening the door to her home to four other used-to-be-quite-famous-but-now-only-partially-famous people, Robson admitted she had never cooked a dinner party before – ever. And it showed. Her rice pudding was sloppy, watery and a peculiar colour. No wonder it was dismissed by the other guests. Definitely stick to acting in future, Linda.

Emma Revis

Would you like the shot or the run-over game this evening? Emma and her usual choice of ingredients (Picture: Channel 4)

For some reason, Emma from Harrogate decided to incorporate a very special ingredient into her dinner menu – pheasant roadkill pie. Yes, you read that right. She had a whole host of gamey, freshly run-over treats for everyone including squirrel and rabbit. Spiders crawled all over her chopping board, her T-shirt read ‘Dead Animals’ and she created a nifty little tyre track across everyone’s plates in homage to how the food they were about to enjoy died. Bizzare.

Marcello Marino

Marcello’s comments insulted contestants and viewers alike, but was it all for show? (Picture: Channel 4)

‘Your main course looks like a sick bag’ and, ‘Shame about your hair’ are just two of the comments the delightful Marcello dished out to his fellow diners in Kent this January.

His odious attitude attracted a reported 1,000 complaints from viewers who were simply not content with the fact Marino came at the bottom of the scoreboard.

According to the Daily Mail, one complaint read: ‘I hope that you lose all your customers and your salon closes down â itâs what you deserve.â

The Italian stallion was hurt by the viewers’ reaction, insisting ‘I’m a nice guy really’ and that his comments were all made for television. He could have just agreed to, you know, not say them…

Bernard Dorsett

Bernard’s shirts were as odious and in-your-face as his behaviour (Picture: Channel 4)

Blokey-Bernard caused friction amongst the guests from day one when he clashed with ballsy beautician Dawn Barry, with the dodgy shirt-wearer telling Dawn he was ‘bored of listening to her’ talk, to which she responded by calling him an ‘arse’.

Bern stormed out of the dining room and ruined what started as a decent night. They seemed to make amends the next evening…but Dawn decided she was ‘tired’ and left halfway through.

His kaleidoscope of shirts are offensive in their own right, but Bernard’s cooking proved to be just as abhorrent and he scored just 17 out of a possible 40.

Tracey Hewer

Tracey during one of her signature whinges (Picture: Channel 4)

Tracey was renowned for two things: making 60 cupcakes as a starter and whinging throughout the duration of the competition. There was nothing that she liked eating and found fault in everything she ate – ‘That doesn’t taste nice to me at all’ being one choice remark – in front of the guest who had cooked the meal in question). On top of that, she scored all her other guests curiously low. Tactical voting perhaps?

For some reason unbeknownst to mankind, Hewer received the highest score and went on to win the competition. Viewers up and down the country were more than willing to snatch the money out of her hands and burn it – anything would have been better than ungrateful Tracey winning it.