I gave birth to downs syndrome baby...I had no clue prior to birth...how do I get through this??

I am almost 37 yrs old...I had all the pre screening done for genetic defects..they all came back negative. I was relieved that my baby was going to be healthy...I had a picture of the perfect little baby boy in my mind. Suddenly, I went into labor at 37 weeks...when the doctor put my baby on my chest, I knew something wasn't right. He didn't look like anyone...I felt a disconnect. Not even 5 minutes after birth the doc told me that he suppects Down's Syndrome. I was devistated. I know nothing about downs. How do I get passed this shock? Why did the test give me a false negative? Why do I feel so hurt? Why wasn't I over joyed when he was born? When will I stop worrying whats going to happen to my baby? Will I ever get through this?

Saugle7, There is a down syndrome pregnancy board and a down syndrome board here on baby center you should join. It will be very helpful for you to meet other mothers. Also I would encourage you to contact your local down syndrome support group...it will help you during this time to learn more about down syndrome. Also...I know many babies w/ds who are born with heart issues...so far every baby I know, some had surgery and some didn't need it...but they are doing great!
I wish you the best and please introduce yourself to the down syndrome board...you'll be glad you did!

UPDATE!
I am a new person now. I was so hurt when he was born....and now I don't see how I would ever want anything to be different. He is so cute and amazing! I feel that I am so blessed to have him! Thank you all for encouraging me when I was down....when I thought life was over. How could I be so wrong?? My life has only just begun!

I am a father of a lovely 2.5 yr old with DS. When Bri was born, I was in a similar boat ? I knew nothing of DS. My wife and I spent several days worrying and grieving. Then we brought her home and went to a DS support group and met other parents. We discovered that there is a hopeful future for her. She will experience the most important and valuable parts of life ? joy, satisfaction, companionship, achievement ? just as you and I do. There were difficult times adjusting ? some for days or weeks, others for a year or even today.
But, along the way, my daughter touched me in a very deep and personal way that I cannot describe in words. It is even deeper than a father-child bond. She reached deep into my soul and rearranged my values, my outlook on life, and how I look at the world. She pulled me up to a much richer level of existence that I ever realized before.
I am not special nor extra-ordinary ? there are so many parents of a child with DS who can tell the exact same story

I hope you are enjoying bonding with your new little guy. Our family had the same experience only 3 months ago. :) I started a blog about our experiences to share our emotional roller coaster with our friends and family without having to explain it over and over. www.decorahthompson.blogspot.com
I'm guessing you may relate to some of the content. :)
Happy Spring!

a BabyCenter member

Answered 4/23/11

3 found this helpful

I am 42 years old and 21 weeks pregnant with my 6th child. I just found out my amni results yesterday that my little boy has downs syndrome. I have so much guilt of not realizing how my age would play a part in the increased risks. This is my boyfriends only child and I was clueless on downs syndrome. I figured I had 5 healthy children if God blessed us with a child it would be healthy. I was so wrong and now feel like I should have researched better before I got pregnant. I do know baby has a heart defect narrowing of the right artery. I pray for strength and courage for my little boy.

I'm so sorry that you are in such pain. I didn't have the genetic screening whe I was pregnant simply because it assesses my risk for genetic disorders rather than whether the baby actually has a problem. However, my baby was found to have several soft markers for downs via ultrasound. Ben ended up being normal but I had to reconcile the possibility of a Downs baby with my dreams of who the baby would be. In the end I had to say to myself, &quot;I already love this baby, so I will love it when it's born too.&quot; Also, my littlest brother has Downs. My mom told me that it took some time for her and my stepdad to come to ters with the reality of a Downs baby. That is totally normal. It is ok to grieve for the baby you thought you would have while you adjust to the baby you DO have. Get support from other families who have gone through this. It will help. I promise!

First of all congratson the beautiful little miracle your family was given. had Like you I had all the testing except the amino and nothing appeared to be wrong. At 37 weeks I was induced and delivered a beautful baby boy named Keegan.Upon delivery I knew something was wrong because he was kinda blue in color. At that moment I knew something was wrong. Soon after he was taken right up to the nicu and remained there 3 weeks. aAbout an hour later the doctor returned to tell me they suspected Keegan had down syndrome. I still remember all the emotions that went thru my head and all the tears that I never thought would stop. If anyone knows how your feeling it is all these people that have replied to your post including me. It'sok to feel thepain, anger and the disconnect.l. Your hurt because you are grieving the baby you thought you were going to have but it's ok you need to do this to heal. What helped me alot was to get involved in a down syndrome group in your area. These are parents that will help you find the strength you need to be strong for your baby. My son had open heart last year and I would of never got thru it without my friends in the down syndrome group. MY son is now almost 3 and just when I think I couldn'tlove him anymore he does something else that makes me even more proud to be his mom. Good luck to you!!!!!

i am only 23 years old, and in my family or my husbands family there is no1 with downs or anything else... they say at my age the chances are 1 in a million, but my blood test showed otherwise it showed 1 in 116 ... i was devistated but didn't think much of it b.c. i had vanishing twin at about 9 weeks into my pregnancy (was carrying twins and lost one) i was devistated to know that i had lost one of my babies and then i had my blood tests done and my doc said that it could be that my hormones were too high bc of the vaninshing twin i then went and got an amnio not thinking that it would come back positive and it did... i then had the choice to terminate my pregnancy but in my mind my baby was already a part of me from day one and at 25 weeks he was already a little boy with all his parts!! i didn't terminate my pregnancy and i had my baby he doesnt have ALL of the characteritcs of a DS child but does have some, i at time catch myself crying thinking how its all going to be

a BabyCenter member

Answered 6/1/11

2 found this helpful

I have a baby with Down syndrome. She is two and a half. We knew she was coming but that didn't really make it any better to accept. i was so scared. I really thought I wouldn't be able to connect with her. But after she was born I realized she was just a baby. A beautiful healthy baby. She has been the light of our lives since day one. Just love your new Dumpling. And believe me this is the GREATEST thing that has ever happened to you. Your life is going to be different ,yes! But better in ways you never imagined!! Please feel free to snoop around my blog and see what our lives are like because of our Emilia. And congratulations!! http://ourdailysmiles.blogspot.com/

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