You Won’t Believe What I, David Cameron, Thought About ‘I, Daniel Blake’: A Review

Not quite as good at the Roman prequel, not as much blood, but definitely one of Marvel’s better films: 4*s

Ken Loach’s first ever Marvel Studios film, ‘I, Daniel Blake’ begins with a boy unable to fill in a form, and ends with a boy unable to fill in a form – but do not be deceived! The piece will make you laugh out loud.

Firstly, where better to set a feel-good rollercoaster than the Big Society itself, formed by me, David Cameron. The protagonist of the film, Greg Wallace from Masterchef, provides hilarity, such as the scene where he can’t work computers because he’s so old. But, Greg also provides gritty action scenes, like the bit where he does some graffiti that would certainly get the most well-connected prefect’s botty smacked by the boarding master.

It’s got funny, realer-than-life characters, such as: the noisy youth from next door (the Dennis the Menace figure), some cameos from Ricky Gervais’ ‘the Office’ in the Job Seekers place where the poor people go to get jobs – (or evidently not as the film jokes!), and a woman.

The made up language was like something I’d never heard before; almost impenetrable. But, it took the play into wacky science fiction genre, like Doctor Strange.

I’m not quite sure what Greg Wallace’s super hero power was – it certainly wasn’t filling in forms! (But seriously, if you want to see a film where someone fills in a form to completion, don’t go and see this film. I can not stress this enough, this is not a film about success in filling in forms.) But Greg’s character was pretty good at carving things from wood – a lovely biblical reference to the greatest super hero carpenter of our time, Jesus Christ.

The villain of the piece, the form, was aptly cast. But, it was a shame its appearance was mostly virtual, and that the technology wasn’t good enough to edit out the behind-the-scenes footage of the Newcastle library it was being animated at. Call me brave for saying this, but perhaps services had been cut to some areas of the production – a problem which would not have happened if I was still Prime Minister. (Sam Cam wants me to point out here something about how utterly incredible I just was at being in charge.)

And Jarvis Cocker! Those special effects! How they made the woman look so homeless! It’s the biggest triumph for photoshopping since ‘Avatar’. Clearly good investments from the 2010 government. But the space ships were a bit disappointing, and just looked a bit like sanitary towels.

Also, I didn’t get the punchline at the end. Falling over gags were done to death by Miranda circa 2013! I also started drifting off when the woman began reading out her shopping list.

Overall, it could have done with more blood like the Roman prequel ‘I, Claudius’, and a snappier punchline, but it had more likeable characters than say Spiderman, or other Marvel superheroes who were not British. Have 4/5 of my offshore stars.