subscribe

Pages

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Each day here on Cake Wrecks, we get literally tens of comments. Some days, if the post is particularly funny (read: offensive) we get even more. And, most of the time, these comments fall into one of several categories. Let's take a look, shall we?

"The design on cake #2 is actually a perfect reproduction of the ficus remidius leaf found in Northern Kentucky between the months of June and August in a little patch of forest near Lake Onomakahatitikaka.

"Nice post, though."

The Optimist:

"At least the writing is pretty! And the balloons don't look like sperm!"

The Storyteller:

"Great post! It reminds me of this trip I took to Prague in 1982 with my cousin's roommate and Charlie Sheen. It was the dead of winter, I had a sombrero and a waffle iron and only four bullets left in my clip, and...well, to make a long story short, I still don't know what happened to that hooker's pet monkey."

"Um, I'm pretty sure that's "Epcot" from Disney (you can tell by the Disney font), and I don't see ANY daisies. Plus, what's the deal with those babies sitting on carrots? Looks a bit off, if you ask me."

You left out The Offender. Like so: "I think it is not funny to make fun on newbie commenters, or to call them 'bad' just because they do not belong to the Inner Circle. Everyone should feel welcome, and as it happens, I do not feel that way anymore. Goodbye."

Um, I'm pretty sure cake #5 is that Epcot Centroid place from Disney. You know, the golfball building. You can tell by the Disney-like pink color scheme. Also, the sprinkles are obviously supposed to be fairy dust.Then again, it could be something completely unrelated. That diamond shape could be a poorly drawn flying saucer. Then, since it's on a terrestrial cake, it could be called Spaceship Earth.

Mike Johnson threw up in Mike Johnson's mouth when Mike Johnson saw all of Mike Johnson's comments used in this post. This reminds Mike Johnson of a story of this one time when Mike Johnson was Charlie Sheen's roomate at bandcamp in Northern Kentucky and Mike Johnson saw Jessica Alba nude except for a single ficus remidus leaf. Good thing Mike Johnson had lots of Viagra, but Mike Johnson's sperm doesn't look like balloons. Then we walked to Epcot in our Nikes. In other words, you forgot to mention the Rehasher and Mike Johnson still doesn't see any daisies. Good post, though.

You also forgot the Conversationalist. @J: You are so right. Glad I'm not like that and so is Mike Johnson. :D

You guys can say what you want about Gerber daisies/babies and purple fried donuts! Jen/John, we love you and your Spaceship Earth (and we totally knew it was not Epcot even before reading the comments), so don't listen to the haters! (then the cake should be appropriately happy with one eyed smileys or funky peace signs).

I think I belong in this camp of commentors. :)

wv: Pancythe: what a half goat / half man uses to bring in the harvest.

You forgot the Terminally Confused, which today is me because the Mike Johnson reference has left me bewildered. Don't bother explaining, I'll just come back another day when it's all not so confusing...

That is such a hilariously accurate portrayal of your daily comments, I was grinning and giggling through the whole thing, when not laughing out loud. Nicely done.

Although, I was kind of looking forward to the person that got offended. "I cannot believe you, of all people, are not sensitive to the dangers faced by the ficus remidius! This endangered plant faces almost certain habitat destruction! I have devoted my whole life to preserving Lake Onomakahatitikaka! How can you call yourself a humor blogger and yet be so callous?" Because I think we can agree that anyone who gets offended about Cake Wrecks is pretty much gonna sound that ridiculous no matter what they're upset about.

I guess I'm a newbie....but I'm methodically reading through old posts trying to catch up. I am all the way through 2008 and 2009 (just stopped at April 2010 to...you know, do some "work" at my "job") and I still don't understand Epcot. Probably because I haven't been reading the comments, just the posts. Guess I better start over...

My two faves: The "sine qua non" who feels morally obligated to comment on EVERY cake in the post so that no one will miss being educated; and the "Uber offended" (yes, I know I left off the umlaut) who is NEVER COMING BACK! Buh-bye, we won't miss you.

As it happens, I DO know what happened to that hooker's pet monkey; I'm still just not ready to talk about it. Unless I'm subpoenaed. But what are the odds, since I have no plans to go back to Prague, or even the year 1982?

Bwahahahahaha! I am so disgusted at you because you made me P. On. My. Keyboard while I was catching up on my Viagra emails (which by the way is a blue pill [made by Pfizer] that helps with...). Anyway, I don't get why it's funny to poke fun at bakers who are only doing their job the best they can. Aside from the retina-popping hot pink, the roses look nice! Speaking of retina-popping and Epcot, that reminds me of when I read your post about Charlie Sheen and laughed SOOOO hard at the rocket fuel cake! :-)

I've been all of these, except the Spammer and the Name Builder. I guess I have not head for business.

There's also the Too-Much-Information-Giver:"Yet another morning it's good I peed before reading Cake Wrecks."

And the Person Who Disagrees With the Concept of 'Cake Wrecks':"I think that Blastulated Craphound is adorable. Besides, could you do it better? I'm sure they did the best they could, and the little bumblebee on the Craphound's anus is too cute for words."

"What's wrong with an epcot with swastikas on it? It's an ancient mystical symbol of good luck."

I agree with those who mentioned the "epic flounce" commenters. Those are always good for a laugh.

Oddly enough most of the readers of a HUMOR blog have enough of a sense of humor that when the subject is our comments, we are capable of laughing at ourselves (along with the funny cakes)!

Keep it up, your site is one of my favorites, and my kids' favorites as well. I've trained them well, they now peek into the grocery store display case every week and see how many cake wrecks they can spot.

I LOVE the fact that you finally acknowledge the intricacy of the comments that really aren't that bad compared to what some blogs get. It reminds me of the time that I went to the store with my grandma and we bought Mary_B's book about Mary_B. Although it might actually be a daisy, but I'm not sure because I don't know what WV means. Enough of this, I'm off to check out hot singles in my area who want to date me.

But honestly, I would rather not have any details about Charlie Sheen's monkey. Thanks.

I'll join the others that are amazed that you chose not to mock the permanently offended! KittyKat's term "epic flounce" was pretty great. I like how they hold their readership over your head. "I can't believe you said that Charlie Sheen was Canadian and that King Cakes were named after him! I will never, ever read your blog again, and I will also stop speaking to anyone I know who is named either 'John' or 'Jen' because that is how offended I am."

Then again, maybe you know that all the cranky people have already vowed to never again type "cakewrecks" into Google again, so you know they won't read it anyway. :)

Hot pink and emerald green!!!..My wedding colors!!! ...oh..wait...forgot, I got hitched at the court house...with someone in an orange jumpsuit waiting in the benches for THEIR turn with the judge...lol

"Excuse me, when I am try to take a break from working and check out a "HUMOR" blog, I don't expect to see you poking fun a fine version of the flag that represents the 29th anniversary of when Queen Elizabeth II gave Royal Assent to the Canada Act 1982 (cake #5). Really? What could possibly be funny about Queen Elizabeth? Or Canada? Frankly I'm really suprised someone with such a following has no respect for this glorious holiday and the pastries that celebrate it! I guess I'll be finding a new humor blog that takes things a little more seriously. Thanks."

Wouldn't it be ironic if there was an EPCOT today? At least we didn't lose too many to offense...

Yes, I too enjoy being updated on people's bodily functions as they are reading. (I kid the enthusiasts.)

I don't know about ficuses (fici?) but the second one would be perfect for a girl named Fern.

Poor 'Gary'. The wreckerator should be using an assumed name.

Teacher's gonna be mad about the fourth one -- Charlie Sheen used all the construction paper to make it that thick! (I'm presuming the CS embargo has been lifted...)

I'm sure that guy from Ace of Cakes would agree that #5 is upside down. If only it had pineapple slices on it...

I don't get the joke on the next one. Sure, there's a carrot, but there's no baby on it (not sure what *that* whole thing is about, either). What's that whole 'wv' thing? I came here looking for factual information about cakes, geography and traditions and I have to say, it's really lacking.

Why do I think that if the lights were off, the last cake would still be visible.

Well, gotta run -- there's this foreign diplomat who needs to get his inheritance out of his country, and only some random American he has never met can help.

I'm another who should be afraid to comment (no comment on which category/categories I am) but am doing so anyway.

Another category of blog commentators I fortunately don't see too often at Cake Wrecks is the Crusader, who takes any opportunity to take over the comment section on a post that ever so obliquely mentions something they can somehow relate to their Big Cause, and the more controversial the better. (You know, the person who sees the Naked Baby Carrot cake as an in for, say, advocating for a political party who supports carrot farmer subsidies.)

For everyone who's confused about the Mike Johnson thing, you have John, Jen and Number One to thank, for removing comments just like that example... where someone uses an unoriginal comment as an excuse to link their own website as many times as humanly possible while trying to maintain some semblance of relevance. Unfortunately the only relevant word they can usually come up with to disguise the barrage of links is their own name.

P.S. For anyone wondering, Jen, John and Number 1 are probably only letting this comment through the sieve because Epbot is not a shameless plug for my own blog - it's written by our very own Jen! Go read it.

You didn't include the kind that irritates me the most: people (the same two whom I won't name and an occasional bonus poster) who rewrite your post for you EVERY day. I find it really rude and arrogant.

Hmm. The sad thing is, I've been reading this for ages...I've read every single post, though I normally only read the first 20 or so comments...yet I still don't get the Epcot thing. I've been trying and trying to figure it out, but I'm still lost.

Lol! I can't stop making typos now thank you :D. That storyteller rose cake was kinda pretty. The first one looks like something out of Plants vs. Zombies. It would kill the zombies that is for sure lol.

@M. Dale, @Anonymous 8:05pm, and others who don't understand what EPCOT is all about: I too was in the dark about EPCOT, until I happened to read the FAQ section (link is on the top menu). Jen provides links to the entries and comments you need to read in order to understand what it's all about. (You'll need a couple of hours to get through it all, though, as there are about 500 comments to read.) :)

Oh wow, does this comment make me an Informer?

@theangelJean 6:54pm, thanks for clearing up the Mike Johnson question...now I can get a good night sleep. Also, your links were great.

Sometimes I just come on this wonderful blog (and I read it) in order to get to your other Steampunk-er blog. (I refuse to bookmark or add to favorites...Don't want "Da Man" to find out where I surf...Ya, know what I mean?)(Don't worry though, I do preach the good word about your stuff to my associates)

I knew there was no way you would actually link to some weird porn site, so when I realized "Jessica Alba Nude" was an actual hyperlink, I had to find out what it went to. Thanks for the giggle!Marvelous, just marvelous :)

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.