Addiction recovery programs offer hope

Pregnancy didn't help Alethea Lambert escape her addiction to drugs and alcohol.

She told the Daily Press she used crack cocaine, smoked marijuana and drank during three of her four pregnancies. She said she knew it could harm her unborn children, but she didn't know how to stop. She didn't think she could.

Then she went to jail.

Unlike the previous 11 times she had been arrested, for the first time in her life no one was helping her. Her friends and family didn't even visit. She was alone. She finally realized she needed help.

(Judith Lowery)

"I just knew that my life was in shambles," she said.

With the help of a recovery program through the Hampton Drug Court, Lambert hasn't had a drink or a drug for 11 years. She devotes her life to helping others who struggle with addiction as the peer recovery coordinator for the Hampton-Newport News Community Services Board.

Lambert recently told pieces of her story to a group of about 10 mothers at the Southeastern Family Project, a residential facility for pregnant women who are struggling to recover from addiction.

Her story carries weight because she's been in their shoes.

Looking at Lambert, you wouldn't know there was a time her life revolved around getting high; that she lived without hot water, had no lights. Today, she's a positive force, beaming with confidence. She has plans for a future. She might even go skydiving someday.

To the women in that room, she's a message of hope.

"Life does not have to be this way," she told them.

A residential home for addiction recovery of pregnant women.

A residential home for addiction recovery of pregnant women.

Addiction

Addiction can affect anyone. There is no set demographic. There's no one particular issue that causes it, CSB officials told the Daily Press.

But there's a common trait officials said they see among people who seek help from the CSB. Something has happened to change the chemistry in their brain.

A number of things can change brain chemistry, program manager Tambrya Klemer said. Trauma is a major factor. Incidents like physical and sexual abuse, separation of parents and children, legal problems, and other major stressors can change brain chemistry. People who haven't developed healthy coping skills to deal with these problems are highly susceptible to addiction, she said.

CSB officials are increasingly seeing people who were injured or had surgery and were prescribed opioids for their pain. Many addicts also tell officials they'd had some kind of unresolved past trauma or other mental health issue, which they numbed or blocked out by using the drugs. Drug use further changes brain chemistry.

"You start to use something that helps you to feel more normal, or maybe not connect to the terrible things that you've witnessed or been through," Klemer said. "And that's how addiction really starts to take hold of you."

Lambert told the Daily Press she learned in treatment programs that she had used substances to cope with everyday stress she didn't think she could handle. She also learned she had an obsessive compulsive disorder.

"Once I started using, once I started thinking about using, I couldn't stop using," she said.

She learned in treatment that she wasn't "morally bad," and that there were reasons motivating her behavior.

"So when I learned that I had a disease, and that I wasn't responsible for that disease, but I was responsible for the health care to manage it, I was able to do something different," she said.

But even after addicts are aware of the problem, recovery can be a long, hard road. The professionals said relapse can be common. They tell patients relapse doesn't mean that they've failed, and they're always welcome back to try again.

"We expect (relapse) to happen," Ward said. "We let the folks we work with know if it happens, it's OK. It doesn't mean it's over. It means you have to keep going back at it and try and pick yourself back up and continue…it's part of the process, and hopefully you learn and grow from it."

Recovery

CSB officials said no one particular recovery program is better than another. Every patient is unique and will have a different path to recovery. But treatment programs offer support and tools, which can be highly effective. Peer mentors and support groups connect addicts with others who understand their challenges and can help them stay on their feet.

"For me, in early recovery, I had no idea what my life was going to look like," Lambert told the Daily Press. "I was afraid to try new things because I was used to holding onto the bad habits and survival skills just to help me exist."

"They kind of walked with me and held my hand to say, 'Well, this is how I did it,'" she said. "We took one step at a time, one day at a time to incorporate a new way of thinking to live a new life."

At the residential home, Lambert taught the women how to develop a wellness plan. These are healthy behaviors with a "tool box" of activities that help them deal with everyday life. Basic things, like eating healthy, getting enough rest, exercising or taking walks can go a long way in the recovery process. When people neglect their needs, they are more likely to relapse.

Lambert told them that as she matures in her recovery process, she recognizes she has more choices.

The wellness plan also helps them identify conditions that trigger their use and healthy ways to deal with their triggers.

"The longer I stay clean, the more confident I become in my recovery walk," Lambert told the Daily Press. "When life shows up, I don't do what I've always done. I don't run and hide from the woes of the world. But I understand that I have a foundation that I can pull from when the world starts to knock me to the sides, so to speak."

During the classroom session, Lambert asked the women to talk about how they were feeling. Some said they were scared. Some felt ashamed. Lambert said talking about their feelings and problems will help them recover. Your secrets keep you sick, she said.

Toni W., an expectant mother in the residential program, said she worries about her future, but Lambert has helped her to see that she can have a better life in recovery.

"It lets me know that it doesn't have to be like this forever," she said.