YSaC, Vol. 456: Imaginary Landscapes – $10

$10 FOR RANDOM ITEMS!! NEED GONE!

RANDOM ITEMS MUST SELL TOGETHER.JUST TAKE IT!!! TIRED OF SEEING IT.. WHAT U DO WITH IT DONT CARE CAN RESALE OR USE IT..

SELLING FOR $10CASH

FIRM

SMOKE FREE PET FREE HOME

CASH ONLY

Ah, yes, random items. Clearly these folks have a yen for the stochastic. They are going to put all their items in a room, and then roll dice, or better yet, toss the I Ching to determine which items are to be sold together.

But wait… this can’t be random. They keep using the word “It”. They are tired of seeing “it.” They don’t care what you do with “it”. You can resale OR use “it.” So it’s random, but it’s also an “it.”

How to resolve this dilemma?

Clearly, this person has several different “it”s and needs to randomly determine which ones you take home for $10 bucks.

I, too, am in awe of the It Collection (TM). Now that I’d buy, printed on nice paper suitable for framing, for $10. The Cousin Itt and Clara Bow are particularly nice, as is the retro movie poster.
But this random, not-even-worth-trying-to-describe-or-name crap that this person wants $10 for? Forget it. If you can’t be bothered to describe it, it can’t be worth anything at all. It’s called the garbage, dude. Throw it away.

Hey now, do not objectify me. I will come over and reload Windows on your system for $10, but don’t get any other ideas, lady. No matter how “firm” I am. I’m there to work on the computer, even if you have a plate of brownies on your bed. When I talk about your “hard drive” I mean the computer! Hey hey, my eyes are UP HERE. Geez. I feel like a piece of meat!

Our IT guys are mostly Asian, and really polite. Also, rather uniformly petite. Plus, I think they eat real food from time to time, so they’re kind of anomalous in that regard. They’re also refreshingly competent, which is a change from the last place I was at. (Example: Me: “So, after you finish running this program on my CPU, is it finally going to work or not?” IT guy: “Pretty much.” Me: “Er.” [Thinks: I just asked a yes or no question; "pretty much" does not give me an answer!] It turned out the real answer was No.)
Our IT guys here may be sweet, but not my style of Man-Candy.

I’m guilty of the “no stove” thing. I have a big toaster oven and a hot plate, but it’s just me so I don’t need to cook a lot. I do have an oven and a stove that’s built in, I put a board over the burners so I’d have a place to put the dish drainer. The oven is used for booze storage.

@sarajean,
Congrats, by that description you could live in NYC. Between commmuting and approximately 365,978,621 places from which one can get food, I don’t know that many people who cook on a regular basis (people with children, but I don’t suit that description). They mainly go into the kitchen to use the fridge and throw away the takeaway containers. You know, I never thought about storing booze in the stove, but then I do use it occasionally … for pizza, of course. The rest of the time it stores cooking pans that I don’t use often. I keep the booze in the freezer, because that’s how voddy is best anyway.

My freezer’s not really big enough.(Gee, that makes me sound like an alcoholic.) There’s room for a thing of ice cream,a few pizzas,cantelope popsicles, and my good bourbon. Got to have the essentials.

I think that’s true for most men. Whenever my Mom is out of town, my Dad(59) will use exactly one cup, one plate, and one set of silverware. Anything left in the sink or dishwasher will still be there when she gets back.

I think you are being too trusting in assuming it comes with *good* stuff.

Clearly (or unclearly), the firm smoke is large enough to be a nuisance, which would mean it takes up valuable air space in your home. You can’t walk through it, so you would have to crawl under it. On the plus side, it would probably make a fun obstacle course for your new pet.

As for the pet, it is probably something awful, like a Komodo dragon. Even if you didn’t mind the vast amounts of carrion you would have to supply, clearly this dragon is unhealthy, since it is now exhaling firm smoke. That kind of thing can get you some pretty high vet bills.

Free home – you’re probably dead on, there. The Komodo dragon is probably the reason it was on Lovely Listings in the first place.

Hmm… “Random items” that are one item?
Head cheese or fruitcake? Or head cheese fruitcake?

“Just a little bit of it can bring you up or down
Like the supper it is cooking in your hometownit is chicken, it is eggs,it is in between your legsit is walking on the moon
leaving your cocoon
[...]it is here, it is now”
- excerpt from it from The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway by Genesis, 1974

Items include:
Matching tie and handkerchief set from the premiere of “The Pirates of Penzance” by Gilbert & Sullivan
Promotional breath mints from the premiere of “The Pirates of Penzance” by Gilbert & Sullivan
Matching tongue stud and cufflinks from the premiere of “The Pirates of Penzance” by Gilbert & Sullivan
A Tamagochi
Sixty cans of Tuna
K rations from the Korean War
W rations from World War III
A monograph from Dr. Timothy Leary about the CIA’s efforts to cover up and erase all traces of World War III
A monograph from Dr. Alfred Kinsey about the CIA’s efforts to cover up his shame.
The letter C.
A complete set box set of Laverne & Shirley on Betamax
Fifteen years of missing socks
A metric socket wrench
A metric for judging socket wrenches
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper
A map of Zimbabwe
A plastic folding chair
A plastic folding table
A plastic folding oven
The Mariner 9 space probe
William Shatner’s singing voice
Tickle Me Terminator
A George W. Bush commemorative gold-plated brush rake
John Kerry commemorative flip-flops
A meaningless howling void of nothingness
3D glasses to properly enjoy the meaningless howling void of nothingness
Enough Bazooka gum wrappers to redeem for an actual Bazooka.
Slinky
Hair of the Dog
Leash of the Dog