The latest episode of The Talk Show had a lengthy discussion about the possibility of Apple ditching the headphone jack on future iPhones. I’ve used Bluetooth headphones for a couple years now, and having to go back to a cable feels absolutely archaic. I feel like Bluetooth would be the logical default choice in a future without 3.5mm ports. The Lightning cable option can be for crazy audiophiles.

Ultimately, though, the Bluetooth standard is a pretty fiddly thing to replace a simple plug with. Putting things into pairing mode when you want to switch between using your phone and your iPad is unintuitive and kludgy.

NFC bluetooth pairing exists, and might be a way for Apple to smooth out the shitty process of switching between devices, as well as the initial setup experience. I can’t vouch for it personally because I own zero NFC devices, so it might be just as flaky as regular Bluetooth, and it wouldn’t work for Macs or iPads. Ultimately, I’m skeptical it could ever be as easy as “plug in cable, sound comes out.”

If they can address the usability issues, the larger problem will be perception. The Lightning cable switchover was ultimately a clean win for everyone, but Apple totally lost in the court of public opinion. I personally have many more dumb standards-based USB variants to keep track of, but Only Apple™ gets shit for making a single new connector after 10 years.

Unlike that, this will have downsides in day-to-day use. Releasing an iPhone that removes such a basic feature without sufficient justification could easily be a fiasco, especially if the Lightning to 3.5mm adapters are $30 and there isn’t one in the box. They will have to tread very carefully, and not even including a simple USB to USB-C adapter with the Macbook seems to indicate they won’t.

Everybody tries to recreate the wonder. I recently played Guild Wars 2 and that has all the mysteriousness you want, but it won’t be the same, because you’re not that age again. It’s not 2004. You can’t just bury yourself in your bedroom and get immersed. I’ve got stuff going on. I’ve got a job, I’ve got a wife, I’m an adult. It’s not a bad thing, it’d be scarier if you hadn’t changed at all. You’re partially nostalgic for the game, but you’re mostly just missing that worry-free lifestyle.

Try sacrificing a few goats to Satan behind the party near the Goat Protest. You’ll have plenty if you’ve got the power to summon infinite goats.

If you haven’t got that power, humans will have to do. Attack a few party-goers to knock them down, then lick them and drag them up the mountain onto a large glowing satanic symbol. You can’t miss it.

You’ll need five sacrifices in total before you unlock demonic powers. You’ll be able to summon a black hole with Satan’s power, and with that black hole, you should be able to gather all the goats together into one goat singularity, and then carry that singularity elsewhere on the map.

Free-to-play mechanics have an undeniably toxic effect on how people perceive video games. Here, Jason Snell describes how his gut feeling when presented with a screen full of cool stuff he could upgrade using essentially experience points:

It’s easy to come away from this thinking Notch is a bit of an entitled asshole, but I think this is a humanizing look at what it’s like to be just the right guy in the right place at the right time, and who lucked into creating a singular cultural phenomenon. He’s just a guy, like he says:

“People were starting to talk about the concept of Notch, or whatever, like the ideal,” he says, parsing through his two identities. “I thought back to when I met my idols and [realized], ‘Oh s–t, these are real people.'”