Thanks to being nominated for Argo, a movie he both directed and starred in, Ben Affleck showed up to this year’s Golden Globes with his wife Jennifer Garner whom he’s fathered 18 children with, so naturally Jennifer Lopez had to do something to make it look like she’s not a horrible spinster who can’t even judge American Idol right. And that something was walk the red carpet with her homosexual butler and pretend he’s her boyfriend. Although, in her defense, she originally wanted to wear a “At Least My Man Didn’t Fuck Blake Lively” T-shirt, but decided against it when it made her ass look too small. Stupid polyester blend…