Fortitude

I had my regular PET scan at the end of the week, and Dr. Wonderful’s sidekick called me with the results thanks to my nurses who made sure it was on his radar. (It is so nice that they call; many times patients have to wait one to two weeks to get their results.) Good news: the scan showed that all of the cancer spots in my lungs are either stable or slightly regressed. Also good, there is no new organ involvement. Hallelujah! This is a big deal, especially since I have been off Herceptin (the biological agent that targets a particular part of the cancer cells) for the first time since 2012. (The reason I am off Herceptin is that I have literally gone through every treatment that is FDA-approved with Herceptin. Dr. Wonderful needs more drug options for me — research for metastatic breast cancer is so important.)

I am really pleased with these results; regression and obliteration would be best, but stable means that I get to keep living my life. I am grateful!

The tough part of this news is that it requires perseverance on my part. This treatment is a doozie and I lose a lot of hours and days to trying to recuperate after each treatment. However, it is a relief to know that at least it is effective, and I have a sense of fortitude going forward. Support from Brad and the girls, family, and the rest of the village makes all the difference. We are very blessed, and it is especially humbling as we have been receiving help for so many years now. I pray I have the fortitude to live with valor.

The girls were in the room when I got the call, so as soon as I hung up I told them the results and we high-fived.

All 3 of us: Yeah! Woohoo! Yay! ::hugs::

Greta: Does this mean that you get to have hair?!

Maren: Nope.

Me: No, this means I get to keep doing the same treatment because it’s doing its job.

Greta: ::grimace face::

Maren: It’s okay G, we would rather have a bald mom than a dead mom.

Me: True.

Great: Yep!

Clearly, there are no rose colored glasses in our house. We all live with the reality of my predicament, and I am so proud of my girls for managing their own cancer experiences and anxiety in ways that are mostly healthy and wise beyond their years. This is their story too.

Brad came with me to the hospital for the PET scan and took a picture of what the actual machine looks like. I’ve described it in my writing before, but this is what it looks like. It was nice to have his company and conversation during the two hour procedure.

Today we have a busy Saturday, just like many families. Greta is an Oompa Loompa in a Willie Wonka musical today, and it’s the kickoff day for Maren’s next volleyball season. And hopefully we will get out our Christmas decorations. We fight for and treasure a sense of normalcy around here, and today is a day to be grateful for. Thank you, as always, for your prayers and encouragement.

Maren’s comment speaks volumes about who she is, but also about how you have equipped your children to “do today well” holding reality and the gift of each day with equal weight. Grateful for your news. May you be given the fortitude you need to carry on.

The BEST Christmas present ever ❤️. Thank you for sharing such wonderful news. Don’t always comment but read your blogs which always inspire me to “Do Today Well”. Sending blessings to you and your family 💕