Emma is currently...

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

A scene from the hospital

So I went to the hospital today (after over a month of waiting for the appointment) and it was very weird.

Doctor: Hello. So basically, you are too thin.Me: Oh.Doctor: What is your diet like?Me: Well, I don't really each much meat, and I never snack.Doctor: Hm, yes. Well you may need to eat a bit more.Me: How much weight do I need to put on?Doctor: Let's weigh you, shall we?

*We go into the corridor to weigh me*

Doctor: Hm, looks like you need to put on three-quarters of a stone.Me: Right. What should I eat?Doctor: Cake. Oh, and alcohol is full of calories. Drink lots of alcohol. Especially Baileys. There are loads of calories in Baileys.Me: Mmm, I love Baileys!

*more senior doctor walks past*

Doctor 2: What's that about Baileys? I love Baileys.Doctor 1: She needs to put on weight.Doctor 2: Ah, yes, good idea. Drink lots and lots of alcohol. As much as you like, as long as you don't drive afterwards, okay?Me: Okay.Doctor 1: I wish someone would tell me I needed to drink more Baileys.Doctor 2: I could do with some Baileys right now.

About Me

Third-year English Literature student; twenty going on fifty. I love baking, cats, afternoon tea, Classic FM, second-hand bookshops, hats and boots, creative writing, pianos, tap dancing, and anything that could be described as 'quaint'. But most of all, I love books.