(I worked at check cashing store that is open 24 hours a day. We only close for major holidays such as Christmas. One Christmas Eve, we are getting ready to close the store for the holiday and are asking the last customers to make sure the door shuts all the way behind them so that it’ll lock and no one else can enter.)

Me: “Thank you sir, and we’re closing. So, if you could just make sure the door closes behind you, I would appreciate it.”

Customer: “I thought you guys were 24 hours.”

Me: “We normally are, but we close for holidays so that we can spend them with our families.”

(The store I work at is normally open 24/7, but we are closing on Christmas Eve and won’t reopen until the morning of December 26th. As we get ready to close, we are asking the last customers to make sure the door closes firmly behind them so that more people can’t get in.)

Me: “Thanks for coming in today; have a great holiday! If you don’t mind, could you please make sure the door shuts all the way when you leave? We’re actually closed now.”

Customer: “But you guys are open 24 hours right?”

Me: “Normally we are, but we’re closing for the holiday so our employees can spend it with their families.”

(I work at a check cashing store and one of our biggest products is money orders. We advertise on TV and in huge signs all over the store that we sell free money orders. An old lady comes up to the counter one day and reads off a list of eleven money orders for various amounts totaling almost $2,500. After reading back and confirming, I go to get payment from her.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to $2,498.”

Customer: “Right.”

(She doesn’t do anything.)

Me: “Ma’am? It’s going to be $2,498 for those money orders.”

Customer: “Right.”

(She just stares at me.)

Me: “Okay, I need $2,498 from you.”

Customer: “But your sign says free money orders!”

Me: “Well, yes, we don’t charge for them, but–”

Customer: “They are supposed to be free!”

(I haven’t been at this job very long, so my manager hears the customer yelling and comes to see what’s going on.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what’s wrong?”

Customer: “He wants me to pay for my money orders!”

Manager: “Ma’am, money orders are always free, but–”

Customer: “Exactly! So, I want my money orders!”

Manager: “Ma’am, you still have to pay for them. We’re not just going to give you over two thousand dollars worth of money orders for free.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see why they advertise free money orders if they’re not free.”

(The customer signs the check in front of me with great flourish and hands it back.)

Me: “You know I can’t cash this for you, right?”

Customer: “Why not? It’s signed!”

Me: “Sir, this is a check from [employer]. We cash about half of their payroll checks every pay period. One, it’s not their payday. Two, this isn’t their logo. Three, this isn’t their bank. Four, you just forged a signature in front of me, on camera.”

Customer: “It’s a good check!”

Me: “Well, I’m sure the officer standing in line behind you would love to hear all about it. Did I also mention that we cash payroll checks from the city, too?”