reflection

It’s Monday. The sun is shining on my part of the globe. The birds are chirping, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee is in the air and my bed head game is stronger than ever this morning. Some mornings I don’t need coffee, just catching my reflection and seeing the state of my hair jolts me awake.

As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and checking on my notifications, one commonality I found was no one was happy that Monday had arrived. I may not be able to write you a doctor’s note to excuse you from school, nor am I able to mimic your child’s voice calling you at work telling you I am sick and you need to come home. What I can do is offer you a solution to make your Monday a little more enjoyable. Yours truly has decided to bring back the “Monday Motivator” segments. Every Monday I will give you tips and tricks of FAB! products to make every Monday a little less melancholy. As we all know, a good hair day equals a good day, plain and simple. …you know it, I know it.

This Monday Motivator is brought to you by yours truly and Joico! Meet one of my all time FAB! favorites….Joico JoiWhip!

You may remember this gem as IceWhip. …back in the day, before the name change….oh the 80’s early 90’s. This has been a go to of mine for over 20 years, whether I had a perm or a pixie, blonde or brunette. JoiWhip is a lightweight yet potent mousse. A little goes a long way Beauties. Joiwhip is a firm hold mousse (level 7 out of 10 on hold factor scale) but don’t let the “firm hold” scare you. It is not sticky, it will not flake or leave that residue feeling on your hair. Thanks to Kukui Nut and Evening Primrose Oil, essential fatty acids that provide moisture and protection, JoiWhip will not leave your hair looking or feeling dry. Created for all hair types, it truly is fine, limp hair’s bff.

Always give the can a good shake, upside down as you do with whipping cream. Keep the can upside down as you dispense the desired amount *TIP! a little goes a long way!. Apply to damp hair, then blow dry & style. *TIP! for my girls with curls – air dry or use a diffuser depending on desired curl effect and style.

My Monday wish for you…. May your coffee be strong, your Monday be short and your hair be FABULOUS!

Everywhere you look, people are sharing. Sharing “likes” on Facebook, sharing pics on Instagram, tweeting their latest opinion on Twitter, snapping a moment on Snapchat. I often find myself wondering, what is real and what is not. Over the past weeks, you may have noticed that yours truly hadn’t been sharing much on my blog. It wasn’t for lack of material or opinions…as those who know me know all too well, when it comes to opinions I have a deep well to draw from. The reason for my lack of sharing you ask? My life and the lives of those I hold dear needed some attention, some tending to if you will. I also needed some tending to. I realized I had to take a step back and take a good look at what I was doing, where I was going and where I wanted to go. Now, before you all start to create scenario’s in your head to spill at the watercooler, let me make things clear. No one is ill. No one is leaving anyone. No one has been arrested. I came to realize that the powers that be that directed me onto this road after the closure of the shop had given me a gift. That gift being time.

I used to have time. I used to make time. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 5. Back then I would make time for me. I would make time for chats with my hubby, walks, coffee with friends, well, for life, plain and simple. I would make time for me so I could enjoy the time with my daughter, so I could enjoy the multitude of questions posed by a toddler – 100 before 7:00a.m. ( I counted one day – hey it was educational…I taught my daughter to count to 100 didn’t I?). Over the past weeks, I realized that I hadn’t made time since my daughter crossed the threshold into her kindergarten class. I went right back to work, full force. Always moving on to the next thing, finding the next idea. Over coming financial struggles, dealing with plant closures and lay offs, taking any amount of hours given so we could keep our home. Those days are long gone, but the memory of them still reside. I had put myself in survivor mode and forgotten to change the record. I had become so focused on working and keeping my house, paying off debts and having money in the bank that I hadn’t realized that I still had my house, the majority of the debt is paid off and there is money in the bank.

I realized something last week. I am always telling the women I know to make time for themselves. I thought I was. It wasn’t until last night as I was painting my nails that I realized this was the first time in along time I was painting my nails, for me. Not for an Instagram shot, not for work. For me. On the weekend, I was having a really good hair day, so I took a selfie. For me. Yes, I put it on Instagram, but I put it up there for me. If no one had liked it, I would have been fine with it. People liking it was a perk. I did it for me. I have adored photo’s since I was a child. I could and can sit and look at photo’s for hours. I wanted that picture because whenever I look at it, I remember how I felt and remembering happiness is a good thing.

The moral of today’s tale? If you are going to share your moments, your opinions, your snaps and your chats, make them worth remembering, for you. Create moments worth sharing. Do not create moments just so you can share them. Plain and simple.

At one time or another, we have been there. Standing in the bathroom, looking down at our hairbrush, then slowly moving forward to face our reflection in the mirror as we wince at the state of our hair. We see little hairs popping out of our head, our ends are starting to resemble the shag bathmat that we stand upon. In our minds eye we start to wonder if we could pull off a pixie cut.

At some point or another, we have all damaged our hair. Too many late night flat ironing sessions. One too many back to back color processes. Thinking an at home perm was a great idea. Whichever the culprit, there is a remedy for what ails your beloved tresses. Let me introduce you to Saryna Key’s Damage Repair Pure African Shea Oil.

Just one of the wonders from the Damage Repair line.

Saryna Key’s Damage Repair oil contains the largest concentration of Shea Butter – a natural source of keratin, that works to bring damaged hair back to life. Any type of damaged hair, chemically damaged (over processed) and damage caused by thermal styling tools will begin to look and feel healthier and softer after the first application. This gem also contains vitamins and amino acids that penetrate into the hair’s cuticle, from root to end, restoring and nourishing the hair.

It’s fast absorbing, lightweight formula means that it can be applied to the finest of strands to the thickest of tresses;

Can be applied to clean, damp hair before styling products and blowdrying. *Usually 1-3 pumps will suffice.

Can be applied to dry hair, after styling to eliminate the look of split ends and/or flyaways. *I suggest 1 pump, emulsify in your hands, light spread at the root to eliminate pesky flyaways, then work your way down your hair to the ends for a smooth, soft and shiny finished look.

Saryna Key offers a complete Damage Repair line, from Shampoo to weekly treatment. I have personally used this line and let me tell you, coming from a not so natural blonde, it is a life saver, or hair saver for that matter. Saryna Key’s products are paraben free, phosphate free and sulfate free. It is a cruelty free line = they do not hurt little bunnies and their bottles are 100% recyclable.

Damaged hair repaired. No animal testing. Saving the planet. Smiling and flipping your hair at every mirror you come across…what more could a girl ask for?

Today’s tale is for all those who are struggling, be it with your finances, your boss, your significant other, your hair or lack there of. Most importantly, for those who are struggling with yourself. If there is one thing you take from today’s tale and keep it in your pocket, it is this – you are not alone and it will get better. Everyone, I mean everyone is struggling with something or someone. Everyone.

Over the past months many of those that I hold dear, clients, friends and family alike have been facing struggles. Struggles with their friends, their loved ones and with themselves. One commonality they all seem to be facing? Judgement and ridicule, and that in itself is the worst part of the struggle. Opening up about your life or asking for help is the most difficult thing to do because of the fear of not being taken seriously. The voice of self doubt can be deafening. Judging someone on what you deem to be a lack of “being able to deal” is cruel, plain and simple. This is their journey, not yours. You see the world one way, they see it another. Here’s the deal, it is their reality, it is real to them, and needs to be honored as such. It is also their story to tell, not yours. Gossip is tacky, and ugly. Nothing good ever comes from it. Ever.

We have all struggled with reflection. For those familiar with my Salon Tales, you are well aware of my past self image issues. The difficulty with dealing with your reflection is that we aren’t just dealing with our reflections in the mirror. We are dealing with the reflections in our mind….and those nasty bastards can be hard to keep quiet. We all have the shoulda, coulda, woulda scenario’s playing and replaying in our minds -and there is nothing worse than when a friend or loved ones points them out for now our reflection has become reality.

To those who are reading this who have been the victim of judgement and ridicule, it’s time to turn those experiences around. Do not feel weak that you opened up. Be proud of yourself, feel heroic even, for you had the courage to open up, to let others know about those things that people don’t talk about at parties. Showing a weakness takes strength. Try not to judge those who judge you – calm down, I’m not gonna bring in J.C. and try to save your soul – I’m saying try not to judge them because 1) why waste your energy on someone who isn’t wasting theirs on you and 2) they need your sympathy and your empathy for they are feeling the same way you do, they just aren’t able to talk about it.

Everyone, I mean everyone at some point has; hated their hair, thought they were ugly, thought they were stupid, felt fat, felt alone, felt inadequate, lost attraction in their spouse, feared their spouse was no longer attracted to them, felt like a bad parent because they needed their child to just shut up for a minute, felt they were a bad friend because they wanted to put their own needs above another’s…the list is endless.

My hope for all who read this today is that you find some peace today, be it for a minute, an hour or more. May serenity finds it’s way to your door. May the reflections of your reality begin to bring hope, light and love.

Every day I meet a woman who hates her hair. Everyday. The feel of it, the look of it, the texture of it, the length of it, you name it, there is something about their hair they just do not like. The commonality all these women have – they loved their hair when they were in their stylist’s chair. As every woman knows and few will admit – when you are having a good hair day, you love your reflection and you feel like anything is possible. These women loved their hair the rest of the day. They received compliments in the express check out at the grocery store and from the clerk at the drive thru window. They received compliments from their loved ones at the dinner table and couldn’t help but to try to catch their reflection where ever possible. They woke up the next day, excited to do their hair and take on the day…and that is when it all fell apart. The compliments from the previous day became a distant memory and their belief that anything was possible all but vanished because after 30 minutes, they couldn’t style their new ‘do and they began to feel like a failure, they began to feel stupid that they couldn’t even accomplish the most simple of tasks, like styling their hair. All because they never received a proper product consultation from their stylist. That’s right, I said it. As a stylist, when you teach your client about what products to use and how to use them, 90% of your clients will be able to achieve the same style at home and will continue to have the same confidence in themselves that they had in your chair.

Everyday, and I mean everyday, you will find me teaching a woman how to use the product she already has. As you know, I manage a retail shop/Salon. I carry over 25 professional hair care lines and I love to sell. That being said, when a customer, lady or gent, comes into the shop with a concern over their hair, I always ask what they are using and how they are using it. Many times they are using the proper product, just using too much or too little of it. Sometimes the product they are using is not the proper product for the style they are trying to achieve. When I explain this to them, the first thing they always say is “why didn’t my stylist tell me?” – a question I often ask myself.

For all the stylists, Salon managers and Salon owners, our beloved industry is based on service, customer and client service. Educating our customers and clientele about their hair – not only cutting, coloring and styling. A key component to the consultation is being overlooked, the product and styling consultation and the retail sale. For those familiar with my Salon tales, you know I am a firm believer that retailing in the Salon is a must. It adds to the Salon revenue, it adds to the credibility of your stylists and it helps your clientele keep the look, feel and style of their hair after they leave the Salon. When they love their hair, they love you. When they hate their hair, well…you may be off their Christmas card list.

I have heard from many stylists that they don’t have time to retail products. I am here to tell you that you do. You have your client in your chair for a minimum of 45 minutes. You are chatting with them the whole time they are in your chair. You are reaching in front of them or around them for the products you are using in their hair. Many times they actually say “Wow! That smells great! What is that?” – if that isn’t an introduction to sell them the product they need for their new style, I don’t know what is. If you can talk about the Real Housewives and their escapades, you can take a moment to chat about their hair and how to take care of it. Being me, here is a little list to follow;

– while their color is processing, explain to them why using your Salon professional shampoo and conditioner are vital to keeping their color vibrant and their hair manageable.

– when your client is going for a fun and funky look with vibrant colors like red or blue, explain the importance of using the proper products to keep the colors vibrant for as long as possible. Explain to them how to wash their hair so the colors will not bleed together.

– while you flat iron their hair, use a flat iron spray and explain that it helps to protect their hair from the contact heat of the flat iron. Explain why you are using it and how much use.

– when curling your client’s hair, explain to them the difference between your Salon professional curling iron and the curling iron’s you can find at the department stores. Let your client know that the heat and quality of your Salon professional curling iron is the reason why their curl lasts.

– explain what the product is that you are using and how to use it. For example, if you are using a root boost, explain to your client it is to be applied at the root on damp hair before you blow dry.

– be sure to let your clients know that all your products are unisex – that anyone, man, woman or child can use them. I have met many men who loved a certain product but thought they couldn’t use it because their wife used it, and vice versa.

– when applying a conditioning treatment, explain the importance of it and the importance of using one at home on a weekly basis – especially for your high lift blondes.

– for your girls with curls – explain how they can embrace their curls with the proper products – that humidity resistant products will combat their frizz, there are gels and creams for curl definition and retention. That there are lines out there specifically designed for curly hair.

Take the time that you already have to educate your clients about their hair, plain and simple.

Those familiar with my Salon Tales, you know I am a believer that all things are possible. I am 42 and I still think a little pixie dust goes a long way. Today’s tale is a personal one – it’s going to be short, sweet and sassy – like yours truly.

Some great things have happened for me over the past weeks. Yours truly has been invited by sarynaKey to blog about their fabulous products and I will be a featured blogger on http://www.justpencilmein.ca .

Actually, some pretty fantastic things have been happening for me since I began my blog, from being published on websites like http://www.salonmagazine.ca to being invited to some pretty spectacular events, like the Contessa’s and Joico’s Spring Trend Show. Two of the best things happened just last week. The first, as I was having coffee with an old friend. She told me that I looked fabulous – from the inside out. I agreed with her. I look in the mirror and I love what I see. I feel the spring in my step when I walk down the street or the grocery aisle. I no longer fear the change room or trying on a new outfit. The second, my daughter told me I am laughing more. She is right, I am. I gotta admit it, once you start living the life you imagine for yourself and start believing in yourself, good things begin to happen. Not to get all “the Secret” on you, but, thoughts become things and what you focus on does become stronger….oh, and eating well and getting off your ass helps…who knew?!

To be clear, I still have melt down moments. I still lay in bed after shutting off my alarm whining that “I don’t wanna get up!”. I still get pissed off that things aren’t happening fast enough – as you all know – my patience is a work in process. I still look at my exercise bicycle and tell it “to stop mocking me”…and yes, I still venture through the drive thru. I am not as social as I once was – for now. You see, I married young and started a family and now I am focusing on my career, so my free time is precious and my daughter is about to be 18 and still likes to spend time with me and my hubby is still the cutest, sexiest and funniest guy I know – so they get first dibs.

May today’s tale give you that extra nudge you may need to go after what ever it is you want. It can happen. It can.

I am a huge fan of Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in cars getting coffee. Google it then watch every episode. You will not regret it. Season two has begun and while watching the episode with Sarah Silverman, something she said has resonated in me and I gotta share it with you. “I’m going to change your life forever”. Something that is said to someone who just doesn’t realize how they look or sound. ( if you want to know more about who she was talking about it, you are going to have to watch the episode, don’t want to spoil it.)

Everyday I see or hear women hating their hair and they don’t realize that they can change that. I also tend to see or hear the most idiotic or asinine behavior and/or comments and you know what? Most of these people don’t realize how they look or how they sound. I say most because unfortunately there are some shallow end of the gene pool swimmers out there that know exactly what they are saying and doing – but there is no changing them and that is a tale for another time.

A woman came into the shop to thank me for introducing her to Joico Kpak Revitaluxe. Her hair had never felt so great. We started a little chat about hair and our past hair woes and then she told me how she didn’t like the cut she had gotten the past three times with her stylist. I asked her if she let the stylist know, because if you don’t tell the stylist you don’t like your cut, you are going to keep getting the same cut, because she thinks you like it. “Oh, I can’t do that. It would be rude and maybe she would get offended.”. – I hear this phrase at least 10 times a week. Ladies and gents, once and for all, if you don’t like your hair style or the outcome of your hair color – tell your stylist, in a polite manner. Don’t go and throw the flat iron and a temper tantrum shrieking “I can never go out in public again!” – behave yourself and be a grown up and let them know you aren’t happy with the service and see if there is anything that can be done. Back to the tale at hand. I asked my customer “If you order a steak well done and it is rare – would you eat it and say nothing, or would you ask for it to be done the way you ordered it?”. To which she answered “I would ask for it to be done the way I ordered it”. This is when it happened. I looked her straight in the eye, smiled and said, “I am about to change your life. From now on if you are not happy with your cut, tell your stylist. It isn’t fair to her because she thinks you are happy when you are not. It isn’t fair to you because every time you look in the mirror you are unhappy. This is a win win for you – either she will listen to you and you will get the cut you want, or she won’t listen and you will know it is time to find a new stylist.”. It was quiet for a moment, I was hoping I had not overstepped my bounds (I kinda do that sometimes). She looked at me, blinked and said “You are right. I never thought of it like that before.” I gave her our Salon price list and let her know that she is more than welcome to make an appointment for a complimentary consultation. We ended up talking for over 20 minutes, about our hair and about our lives. As she left she winked at me and thanked me “for changing her life”. We both laughed and I could hear her laughter as she walked out the door.

As I sat down to finish my paperwork I found myself smiling and saying quietly to myself “Thank you Sarah Silverman for changing my life”.