In case you hadn’t realised the seriousness of the problem, I thought I’d share these budding projects with you. Names of grantees and institutions have been omitted to protect the innocent, but I have included the FOR, or Field of Research as coded by the ARC, and the total grant monies. Enjoy.

Physiology: “Abrupt environmental changes can put natural populations at risk of extinction. The project will show to what extent individuals can compensate for temperature changes and thereby render populations resilient to climate change. This research will make theoretical advances and improve the power to predict impacts of future climate change.” ($370,000)

Public Health and Health Sciences: “This study will investigate the effects of extreme heat, increasing temperatures and consequences of climate change, on the population health of rural communities in South Australia. Findings will inform adaptation strategies to prevent an increase in heat-associated and climate change-associated morbidity and mortality in rural areas.” ($122,000 – 2 years)

Political Science: “Commonsense says that claims about how social and political life ought to be arranged must not make infeasible demands. This project will investigate this piece of commonsense and explore its implications for a number of pressing issues, such as climate change, multiculturalism, political participation, inequality, historical justice, and the rules of war.” ($408,587)

Sociology: “We know very little about the ways food security is governed in Australia. This study – the first social-science based study of food security in the nation -will allow us to understand how a multiplicity of agencies come together to ensure the delivery of food, especially at a time of climate change impacts.” ($100,000 – 2 years)

Psychology: “Climate change represents a moral challenge to humanity, and one that elicits high levels of emotion. This project examines how emotions and morality influence how people send and receive messages about climate change, and does so with an eye to developing concrete and do-able strategies for positive change.” ($197,302)

Journalism and Professional Writing: “This project will examine the use of news management or ‘spin’ by Australian governments. Is it a legitimate tool of government in the face of a hyper-adversarial news media or a technique which undermines democracy? It will examine ‘spin’ in connection with policies on climate change, economic policy, indigenous policy and asylum seekers policy.” ($95,000)

Literary Studies: “The project will devise and develop a new ‘cultural materialist’ paradigm for science fiction studies and apply it to a case study of science fictional representations of catastrophe, especially nuclear war, plague and extreme climate change.” ($239,000)

Historical Studies: “This project will produce a comprehensive new biography of H.V. Evatt, High Court judge, minister in the 1940s, President of the United Nations General Assembly and leader of the Australian Labor Party opposition during the 1950s. Evatt’s life resonates with modern challenges both of liberty in a time of terror, and of internationalism in a time of global warming.” ($185,000)

{well almost a perfect score, climate change is just another code word for global warming}

You know what? Take alla that money, add it all together, and triple it, no-quadruple it, and devote it to a study of…nonsense. Now that I’d gladly pay for. Trouble is, such a study would force these flea ridden, oozing, slimy, leeches to suck the blood out of something else.

I am getting so fed up with this climate change thing.. Its become an excuse to collect, no steal, taxpayers money to come up with more useless cr*p about this non existing problem.
Really, some of these frauds should be brought to justice.

A mate of mine used to be a University lecturer (before he started drilling for shale gas in North West England) and he told me in about 1995 that people who were after grant money were increasing their chances by linking their applications to global warming..

To quote “Deep Throat” (the anonymous source of information that demolished the Nixon White House) ‘follow the money.’
Global Warming / Climate Change is and always has been a clarion call, raising alarms of impending doom to panic the public (and the officials they have elected, and the officials appointed by the electees) into throwing money at ‘research’ programs which promise to do *something* that may help us deal with this Bogeyman. It matters not whether the work advances the stated objective. What counts is whether the elected officials, campaigning for re-election, can point to this and say “See! I care about your future!”

Sports Science: “This project will catalogue and quantify the varying impacts of climate change on the psychological performance of soccer players at important matches.”
Better stick me down for 400 large as I foresee a lot of travel involved.

hmm… I wonder if I did a study on all the emerging technologies coming to market as a result of “climate change” to help reduce carbon footprint of domestic dwellings, could I get three or four hunnerd grand to remodel my house?????

I think a grant of $1,000,000 for me to examine the possibility of changes due to Climate Change on the cultural and economic effects of tourism on the inhabitants of all the coutries of SE Asia, with particular attention to Thailand and the province of Petchabun.
The fact that I am retiring soon to 12 acres in Petchabun will be a valuable asset in my studies of the local population, restaurants, golf courses and hiking trails in that province.
I expect this study to take at least 20 years to complete.

Been there, done it, got the T-shirt etc. That was back in the late 1960s. The big funders in the UK then were cancer research. My intermediate boss was hell-bent on becoming “an item” He convinced a charity to fund research into UTI (urinary tract infections) to establish a link to cancer of the bladder. Utter BS but follow the money.
He successfully elevated himself from Registrar to Consultant. [non UK readers – just Google it and learn]

This man is possibly the most odious character I have ever met. What sickens me is that he is fat dumb and happy, whilst I am …….. enjoying watching “Revenge” on C5, and taking notes.

Authors of scientific studies don’t spend years on a topic of their choice, drafting a paper and word smithing every sentence without a funding source. The funding entity issues a request for proposal and the intent of the study is made clear. Very clear. The study validates the assumption of the proposal or the author will have a long wait before the next funded project.

Saying that 98 percent of climate change papers conclude that climate change is harmful and a result of human activity is true. It’s true because 98 percent of requests for climate change studies request an evaluation of just how harmful climate change may be.

An example of the circular proof of the climate change consensus goes something like “it’s true because I say it’s true”.

It seems as if AGW has almost magical properties when it comes to undermining and debasing contemporary intellectual endeavor – as well as compromising almost everyone with credentials to carry out such endeavors.

I propose a Mars mission for Michael Mann, Phil Jones, Hansen, et al, to go to the planet Mars to study it to further our understanding of Climate Change. Then I propose in typical government fashion we fund the voyage to Mars, but defund the return mission, or at least heavily delay it, so they stay there a good, long time.

“In case you hadn’t realised the seriousness of the problem, I thought I’d share these budding projects with you. Names of grantees and institutions have been omitted to protect the innocent guilty, but I have included the FOR, or Field of Research as coded by the ARC, and the total grant monies. Enjoy.”

I love the 400 k for Political Science research. Ok, I know, I know, you have to wine and dine a lot, learn to say “climate change” and “sustainable development” without flinching (1), subcontract some research to climate scientists for adequate results, make press meetings in posh hotels, wine and dine more.

1 – Other must learn to say the easier cyclopentaneperhydrophenantrene. Which is why they’re paid less :-)

*sigh* – many of my friends suggested to me that if I had added “climate change” to my PhD proposals, no matter how spurious the link, I would have got funding 10 years ago….looks like they were right.

Clear evidence that Big Climate is the established market leader in gouging funding from Government . Forget about the Industrial-Military Complex, they are now completely in the shade of the Green Left Lobby-Academic Complex.

To paraphrase that great scene in The Shipping News: now – “World Threatened by Deadly Climate Change”, not to distant future ( when the drugs have worn off) – “World Saved from deadly Climate Change”. The MSM and academia will milk the angle du jour for all they can. They have abandoned the legacy of the Enlightenment and have adopted the paradigm that its all just Entertainment.

Baseball is a elegant game played in the warm air of spring, summer and fall. CLIMATE CHANGE can have a devastating impact on the quality of play. This threat to our national pastime must be quantified. Traveling to games at each of the 30 parks several times a year for several years in order to get e quality N-value is essential to the success of this very important project. ($5,000,000) and renewable a maximum of 20 times should about do it for me, I mean this research project.

Climate change can affect the quality of people’s leisure time. This project will assess the potential impact of climate on the usability of the World’s top 20 most popular beaches. In particular we will investigate the impact of climate change on the ability of personnel to transport cold cocktails from beachside bars to the customer reclining on the beach.

I think Graham Green and RobW are on to something with the sports studies, although I think studying projected growth in the popularity of beach volleyball in a warmer world is a potential winner. I would like to augment this basic analysis with personal research in the efficacy of various beverages in maintaining optimum hydration and attitude.

katabasis1 says:
July 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm
*sigh* – many of my friends suggested to me that if I had added “climate change” to my PhD proposals, no matter how spurious the link, I would have got funding 10 years ago….looks like they were right.

=========================================================================
No. Funding or not, you would have been wrong if you had….Unless you were studying the effects of broken Hockey Sticks on the changing climate of Global Warming.

I just love “hyper adversarial media” in the journalism grant. Do you Aussies have a media challenging the government line about climate change rather than cheer-leading for more government to solve the problem? We have some adversarial internet and talk radio media in the U.S.A. but most of the traditional media will only turn adversarial if the Dem’s lose in November.

(I didn’t need to change it much. The means have changed, the end goal is the same.)

To the tune of: “The Times They Are A-Changin'”
Come gather ’round funders
Wherever you roam
I’ll say that the waters
Around you have grown
And tell ‘em that soon
They’ll be drenched to the bone
If Ma Gaia to them’s
Not worth savin’
Then they better start swimmin’
Unless they give you the throne
For the climate we’ll claim is changin’.

Come writers and Marxist
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your lies comin’
The chance won’t come again
And hype Super Moons
Give normal weather a spin
And there’s no tellin’ who
That you’re foolin’
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the climate we’ll claim is changin’.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don’t stand in the doorway
Don’t block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There’s a battle outside
And it is ragin’
It’ll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the climate we’ll claim is changin’.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don’t criticize
What only we understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your fuel bill is
Rapidly risin’
Please get out your wallet
And hand over your cash
For the climate we’ll claim is changin’.

The stick it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin’
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the climate we’ll claim is changin’.

along with Gunga Din’s excellent parody of Dylan [July 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm] suggests to me that …
With sincere apologies to the late, great Janis Joplin … should the above not read “… climate change is just another phrase for nothin’ left to lose …”?!

It took me a long time to appreciate the throwaway comments in research proposals. The civil engineering proposal is a great example. The devils food cake: “This project will develop innovative light gauge steel roofing systems with considerably increased wind resistance and reliable design rules for cold-formed steel codes worldwide.” And then there is the throwaway (the frosting): “It will contribute to the Australian government’s goal of increasing building resilience against future extreme and more frequent wind events caused by climate change.”

Better wind resistance and design rules are sufficient – period. I expect that climate change is only mentioned in the introduction of the proposal and the abstract. “Climate change” is the cause du jour that has political clout.

I don’t know the details of the Australian funding process. In the US, however, the program managers at NSF, DOE, NIST, DOD, NASA, etc. look for good science and engineering. In addition, a program manager will also look at current affairs for the popular causes that they can sell to the political class that funds the agency.

Including the throwaway is one small additional step to getting funding. I eventually worked with a great engineering manager that pointed this out to me when I put together a proposal for improved tooling materials. And what does a carbide drill have to do with climate change (global warming)? Well, a better drill will cut faster and use less energy. And less energy (electricity) will require burning less coal producing less of that evil carbon dioxide. Multiply that saving per hole by the total number of holes drilled each year, and we are well on the way to saving the planet.

@Gunga Din:
“No. Funding or not, you would have been wrong if you had….Unless you were studying the effects of broken Hockey Sticks on the changing climate of Global Warming.”

– Worry not. I stuck to my guns and finally secured funding two years ago I’m pleased to say, though my academic career will always be tainted by bitterness I think at the consistent negative reactions I’ve had when “coming out” as a climate sceptic and/or right wing.

Lightweight structures……It always makes me laugh when media tries to show dramatic video during hurricanes. It’s usually some aluminum awning or other lightweight material blowing down the street. We build much lighter today than in the past, and that probably accounts for a great deal of the “increased cost” of storms these days.

Lightweight science is often anchored with the phrase “climate change”.

Thank goodness the winds of change are beginning to blow.these lightweight “sciences” away.

In debates on various blogs, commenters deny that funding agencies bias their grants. While some topics are focused on pure research or are not related to climate change, if you are doing any research related to weather, geology, geography, ecology, conservation, etc it sure helps to toe the line. And grantees know they better kowtow when they write up their results too.

I think global warming is caused by all the electricity we put into the air. How many gigawatts of power is flowing around on the grid and in the air in the form of electromagnetic waves? We are electrocuting mother earth and it has to stop NOW! All I need is a grant to do the research.

I must admit to a bit of a giggle at some of the comments. My main feeling, though, is one of anger at what the ‘powers-that-be’ think we will swallow as valid ‘research’. Anything to control the masses.

Psychology: “Climate change represents a moral challenge to humanity, and one that elicits high levels of emotion. This project examines how emotions and morality influence how people send and receive messages about climate change, and does so with an eye to developing concrete and do-able strategies for positive change.” ($197,302)

Those who set their hair aflame and commit reprehensible acts need and deserve a useful psychological defense aside from the old, hackneyed “insanity plea”.

Don Keiller says:
July 25, 2012 at 10:24 am
….Now if I say that “Type 2 Diabetes has increased in parallel with global warming and CO2 emissions…”
_______________________
Go for it.

All that extra CO2 => extra grain => too much carbohydrates in modern diet => insulin exhaustion and the change in diet from veggies to grains due to increase availability of grain… Not to mention high fructose corn syrup in everything.

Jerry says:
July 25, 2012 at 9:07 am
I think global warming is caused by all the electricity we put into the air. How many gigawatts of power is flowing around on the grid and in the air in the form of electromagnetic waves? We are electrocuting mother earth and it has to stop NOW! All I need is a grant to do the research.
===================================================================
You get a grant for that then I’ll propose that all that electricty can’t cause global warming without an element. Edison’s first electric light had a carbon filiment therefore the electricity in the air is harmless without the element carbon. I’ll prove Hansen was wrong because it’s not CO2 as a greenhouse gas, it’s CO2 as a carrier of the element carbon! That’ll get the Earth Firsters in the grant giving community on my side since they hate humanity and humanity is a carbon-based lifeform!
I think we’re on to something. Our gravy train has finally come in. Let me know when your grant comes through then I’ll apply for mine.
(I’m sure glad they talk about “carbon capture” instead of “CO2 capture. That’ll make it easier for me.)

“This project will develop innovative light gauge steel roofing systems with considerably increased wind resistance and reliable design rules for cold-formed steel codes worldwide. It will contribute to the Australian government’s goal of increasing building resilience against future extreme and more frequent wind events caused by climate change which may damage hospital wards where children dying of cancer are treated.”