With thanks to Dr. Bob (whose words these really are) and apologies to the Beach Boys...

Well she logged onto the system with a rootkit on her USB key now,
She loaded up the sucker, and she gets all her classes for free now,
She’s got an A+ in English and the prof only gave her a D now,
And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away!

She used to get her sleep but the gal’s been staying up late now,
She’s been playing World of Warcraft, thirty-six hours straight now,
She’s wearing Depends, but she’s at level seventy-eight now
And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away!

Well, the girls can’t stand her cause they say she acts like a man now,
So to prove she’s a girl, she’s put a picture of her tits on 4chan now,
She’s posted Pentagon files to a server in Kazakhstan now,
And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till the sysop takes her password away!

Ah well you knew that the sysop was starting to get wise to you now,
Hacking his homepage wasn't such a smart thing to do now,
But you've hacked into the password file, decrypted it too now,
And you'll have fun, fun, fun while the doctors take the sysop away!

531.
Subject: Luke, oh Luke! Gunpe inspired me to post this, which I came up with about 30 years ago:
(to the Star Wars Imperial March)

Here comes the Empire
We're big and we're mean.
We don't care much
who gets in our way.
Get out of our way
whenever we're here -
Or you may find that
your end is near.
[By :Captain Trips / 2011-06-06] [Top]Comment on this Tech Song

Comments

"Hail to the chief, if you don't, I'll have to kill you. I am the chief, so you better watch your step, you bastards. ..."</my fellow americans> -AmazingKreskin

530.
Subject: Not mine though - Geek Music! This guy was featured on NPR and his music is pretty killer and hilarious in a semi-Barenaked Ladies sort of way. I especially love "Code Monkey"and "IKEA."
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/primer/listen/[By :MrsCheezil / 2011-05-13] [Top]Comment on this Tech Song

Dr. Bob, who I have spoken of before, has recently been inspired to write replacement lyrics for a song. These were published here: http://www.lablit.com/article/646 -- posted here with permission.

After Joni Mitchell - "Clouds".

Rows and flows of lines and spots,
Histograms and digidots,
Box-and-whiskers, quantile plots
I've looked at stats that way
But is it just a picture show?
If something’s there how will you know?
And if they say it isn’t so
What is there left to say?
I've looked at plots from both sides now,
Transformed and spun them: still, somehow,
It’s plots’ illusions I recall,
I really can’t trust plots at all.

Dainty ladies tasting teas
Rejecting null hypotheses
At standard probabilities
I've looked at stats that way.
But is it just a lottery?
At four percent they all agree;
At six percent the referee
Says “take this junk away.”
I've looked at tests from both sides now:
Retain, reject – and still somehow
I look at tests and I recall
I really can’t accept at all.

Ways of Bayes and likelihood,
We'll teach the things we know we should,
The True, the Beautiful, the Good
And blow the clouds away.
But now my class are acting strange,
They tell the Dean that I’m deranged
And that they need (till customs change)
Their tests and EDA.
From both sides now I've looked Bayes o'er,
Both prior and posterior:
It’s mass confusion I recall,
I really can’t teach Bayes, at all.

most awesome! .. now I'm going to have this stuck in my head all day... -DedSysOp

526.
Subject: Read It

Based on Beat It by Michael Jackson
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/michael-jackson/beat-it.html

I told him don't you understand it it's clear
Don't wanna understand just screams for someone near
It's vacant in their eyes, vacuum between their ears
Please read it, just read it

You better come, you better do what you can
Don't wanna read a book, don't want a site to scan
Don't wanna think it through even though we all can
Please read it, just go RTFM

Just read it, read it, read it, read it
No risk your work will be deleted
It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
Just open the manual and follow your nose
Just read it, read it
Just read it, read it
Just read it, read it
Just read it, read it

We'll start to bill you, better read while you can
Don't wanna get a LART you better read that man
You're no longer five, better act like a man
So read it, just read it

You have to show them there's no need to be scared
Not playin' with your life, there ain't no need to fear
It'll help you, it'll teach you
Then it all becomes clear
Please read it, just go RTFM

Just read it, read it, read it, read it
No risk your work will be deleted
It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
Just open the manual and follow your nose

Just read it, read it, read it, read it
No risk your work will be deleted
It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
Just open the manual and follow your nose

Just read it, read it, read it, read it
No risk your work will be deleted
It's not in Chinese, it's not in code
Just open the manual and follow your nose
Just read it, read it
Read it, read it, read it

524.
Subject: Tech Support To the tune of the Pokemon theme by Billy Crawford

In gratitude to my anonymous star benefactor because I am a ditz and my big butt didn't register until this afternoon.

(... but mainly because I got bored after processing a set of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventures manga)

Our network is the very nest
Our budget will allow
To train them is my real test
To LART them is my cause (oooh)
They want their bloatware Weatherbug
They want their purple ape
Uploading pictures, downloading apps--
Commiting bandwidth rape! (Bandwidth rape!)

All the spyware along the way
With Otis I will face
I will battle every day
To free up hard drive space!
LART with me, they have no fear!
There's no better time
For effective discipline
When they neep and whine!

But for today is a place bright and homey
A sunny sky through a window near my desk
Becomes a sigh when I think that it's only
Just too good to last

No fish today, my pain has gone away
The handset stands forlorn, the neeping noise is gone
No fish today, it's not a common plight
Enjoy it while you can, don't ask the reason why

How could I know just what this really means
The end of all the dopes, the end of all the neeps
How could they know the pressure there had been
Behind the door where my mind ran and screamed

No fish today, it isn't always so
The company was lame, they'd turn bright into "Doh!"

But for today is a place bright and homey
A sunny sky through a window near my desk
Oh for today is a place bright and homey
A sunny sky through a window near my desk
Oh for today is a place bright and homey
A sunny sky through a window near my desk