Troll.in pulls off a masterpiece of “source based reporting”

By now, the adventures of a certain elite reporter and her source “Ankit from IIT” have become legendary in the hall of Mameluk fame. But they say records are meant to be broken. How fortunate we are to be alive to witness Troll.in produce an absolute beauty of source based reporting to achieve a standard no Ankit from IIT, no Ankit from MIT and no Ankit with a Nobel prize in Physics would have thought possible. Friends, I give you this article:

“BHU’s slide to the right: pro-RSS teachers get top billing, ABVP students get priority”

Friends, I request you not to outrage over this. Please take a step back and admire the amazing work of Troll.in. Just because I cheer for India doesn’t mean I cannot appreciate the fantastic delivery from Glenn McGrath that got Sachin Tendulkar’s wicket for a duck at the Oval during World Cup 1999.

Let us read and unravel this work of art: it is authored by one Rizwana Tabassum and one “Khabar Lahariya”. I presume that the latter is not a real name, but if it is, I salute her/his parents on choosing a fitting name for a worthy child:

“On January 2, the Indian Institute of Technology affiliated to the Banaras Hindu University abruptly terminated the contract of visiting professor and Magsaysay award winner Dr Sandeep Pandey. His contract was to end in July. No particular reason was cited for his ouster.”

If it was up to me, I would have said that receiving the Magsasay Award should in itself be grounds for termination. But, then…

“Of the nine members on the board, only six were present. These included vice chancellor Girish Tripathi and three members of the Bharatiya Janata Party’s ideological parent, the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh. When Pandey’s ouster on allegations of being anti-national and carrying out Naxal activities on campus was put to vote, two board members abstained.This means that only four members of the board’s nine voted to remove him.”

Out of Bihar’s adult population, 56.8% were present to vote. Out of those who showed up, 2.5% abstained by choosing NOTA and 16% voted for Nitish Kumar. This means that only 9 out of every 100 people in Bihar voted for him… Anyways, let us get to the exciting source based part:

“As the university starts a new cycle of admissions, Khabar Lahariya takes a look at what’s wrong.”

I’m eager. Let’s find out:

“In September 2015, the university’s Department of History hired for positions of assistant professor. Among those appointed were Ashok Kumar Sonkar and Satyapal Yadav, both former Banaras Hindu University students. According to an investigation by Khabar Lahariya, both Sonkar and Yadav’s doctoral theses are heavily plagiarised.”

But then the question arises: considering that the BHU faculty looked the other way when these “heavily plagiarized” doctoral theses were accepted, which political party are they likely to have received patronage from? Perhaps the one that was ruling the last 10 years? An investigation by Chaiwallah using a source called Google revealed that Ashok Sonkar already had a PhD in 2012

“According to sources, Professor Binda Paranjape was supposed to take over as the head of the history department last year.”

I give you a personal guarantee that this source wasn’t a parrot on the footpath…

“But she was overlooked to give the current head, Dr Aruna Sinha, her third term. Sources say that this could be due to Sinha’s proximity to the RSS.”

Dear Almighty sources, kindly also tell us how the current head managed to get her first two terms? By using whose proximity?

“A master’s student in the history department told Khabar Lahariya that Sinha has begun to regularly refer to the Sangh and its work on Hindutva in her lectures.”

So, what is wrong with historians talking about the Sangh? Dear master source, kindly also tell us when you noticed that she “began” to refer to the Sangh in her lectures. Outside FTII, master courses are 2 years long. If you are still a masters student, the earliest your course could have begun is mid 2014, which is AFTER Modi’s victory. Unless…you know…there was a capitalist conspiracy by fascist Hindu Zionists to keep you failing year after year…

“Many irregularities have cropped up even in the admissions process….”

I will now continue relating the rest of what the Almighty Sources told “Khabar Lahariya” about BHU campus. Along with that, I will also insert bits of news about my neighborhood. These latter bits are brought to you by Chaiwallah’s source, his dear friend Sabjiwallah who listened in on two women who came to buy veggies from his cart…

“Sources reveal that members of Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad, the right-wing student body affiliated to the BJP, have benefited over other students in the admissions process.”

Sources also reveal that these days something is going on between Aman and Savita bhabhi’s younger daughter Anjali. Sources reveal that one evening Aman dropped off Anjali on his bike. And that Savita bhabhi’s husband has bought a new car. How do they have so much money? Maybe they are close to RSS.

“Students who topped the entrance exam were pushed lower down the rankings to make way for ABVP students.”

In other news, Savita bhabhi is so embarassed by Aman and Anjali’s affair that she might opt to get the two of them married even before she finds a match for her elder daughter Ankita..

“For instance, a student ranked number three was pushed down to 30 for an ABVP student who failed the exam….”

One time, Aman and Anjali got so shameless that Anjali brought Aman home when her parents were away…

“The university’s Brocha sports field appears to have become a regular hunting ground for new recruits and converts for the RSS…”

The park full of trees near the lake appears to have become a regular haunt for shameless young couples…

“Just two weeks ago, on the occasion of Swami Vivekananda’s birthday (another Hindu icon appropriated by the right-wing), the ground reverberated with cries of Jai Shri Ram….”

Just two weeks ago, on the occasion of Valentine’s Day, the park was full of couples making out in the bushes…

“Witnesses said that faculty members are regular visitors to the Sangh’s meetings held in the grounds…..”

Witnesses say that grown ups have also joined in the shamelessness. Witnesses say that Monu’s dad was in the same park with a girl the other day.

“But the more worrying trend is that the number of university students at these meetings has rapidly increased in the last year…”

The more worrying trend is that the number of couples in this park has also rapidly increased in the last year. Log kya kahenge?

Request you to cover the following issues/events , if possible
the oomen chandy solar scam in kerela
the sarada scam in WB
the nandita das and dilip cherian issues with wcd
the jamuria rape case ( under reporting )
prospects of bjp in assam

Ha ha…I was about to talk about Nandita Das today itself, but got lazy on a Sunday and did something easier.

I have been seeing this Dilip Cherian name and a letter. Honestly, I dont understand what exactly has happened. Who is this Dilip Cherian and what is the significance of the letter going around?

Oomen Chandy scam coming soon in a post with N Herald 🙂

The rape in Bengal…have to do a post soon about how Rupa Ganguly is toiling on the ground doing a yatra on that rape…

BJP in Assam 🙂 …yaar I am hoping…but after Bihar experience…I am not going to guess anything. Just pray 🙂 My heart says we are gonna win. So does my brain, considering that Cong+AUDF alliance isnt happening and Tarun Gogoi is projecting pure desperation and zero confidence. But then maybe you should know that I am a deep optimist 🙂

Dilip Cherian is a political lobbyist and image consultant. Part of dynastycrooks. The letter is another goof by ministry of women and child development in awarding a 2 year contract to his firm for media management. The same wcd ministry has also signed nandita das as ambassador for beti bachao!!

the issue here is how come such vocal anti modi lobbyists are being rewarded by a clueless rudderless modi govt. !!

and there were other similar goofs earlier in continuing with congress nominees in imp positions … And so why bjp persisting with congress moles /appointees /lobbyists in its governance ???

also include the sarada scam ( chit fund ). The cbi is investigating , some tmc members also questioned, indicted – but nothing much has come out. Seems to be dying down.

I don’t think it is a govt that is clueless. I think NM did/does not realize how deep the rot is, in Delhi.

These are not congi moles – these are well entrenched babus who do things only for themselves. And they are there in every party, every office and in every govt in India. They dole out these contracts to get kickbacks, scratch each others backs and keep themselves supported for now and in the future (no matter who forms govt). It is due to these people that India has been trampled for a 1000 years and will continue so.

Because it is this govt and due to SM, you and I are hearing about it. Else it would all be buried underneath.

NM has an herculean task if he wants to change this culture. And that will need his entire attention. Which he is not willing to provide I think. Plus, it looks like the Delhi bug of ‘statesmanship’ has bitten him.

In my view, aggression is the best form of defense too. Had Modi attacked / arrested /siezed/targetted the corrupt immediately after taking office – he would have siezed initiative and put the corrupt on the backfoor. He had his electoral victory to back him up.

An unforgiveable blunder of disasterous proportion was he did not come up / make public what he inherited.

Success in this world is about driving NEGOTIATIONS from position of strength.

When one does not attack ( despite being in a position of advantage/power) and instead busy defending – one has already lost the plot

I agree with you RW. I think NM was given the mandate to go after the corrupt, not allow Hindus to be overrun, etc but for some reason he has chosen to take a diff path from that which brought him here. I really wish he had stuck to what he promised to do instead of playing defense as you say – and that too by proxy.

Indeed, the window for doing this was very narrow and ran out in a few months. Even Land Acquisition bill could have gone through then…the opposition was totally down and out. I think what made them dilly dally is that there were 4 big state elections coming up immediately. They hesitated on seizing the crooks by the collar immediately…and lost the moment. They also dithered on Delhi, with disastrous consequences. BJP had a chance to finish up AAP forever had they dissolved Delhi Assembly in May 2014 the day after coming to power.

I think that NM does know the depth of the rot. There is an overwhelming rot and one has to prioritize. Cant believe some sneaky bureaucrat quickly fitted in Nandita Das for beti bachao when Maneka was apparently away from office. Unbelievable how deep roots the idea of India crowd has…

Ha Ha. Really Gr8 sarcasm chailwala. I was really laughing for this “Khabar Lahariya”. May be when he was in his mother’s womb, his parents might have thought that, their upcoming son will “expose all sanghis” who were working with “fasicst and murderer of secualrism Modi” by extracting info from his “sources”. So they kept his name “khbar lahariya”
By the way, I just searched thru google to find who the heck is this kabar lahariya. I found that, there is a news paper called khabar lahariya as well in UP.https://twitter.com/khabarlahariya.
No wonders, this is supported by congress.I really do not know, if these two khabar lahariyas are same or different. May be Rizwana might be a writer in this news paper.

These crooks think, we Indians are so stupid, that we will believe in any news which comes from any sources. Its high time, Modi stops all this mess. Its enough now. We do not believe this, but there are millions of fools in our country, who will blindly believe this. At least the term “from sources” should be really scrutinized.

Presenting to you,the Presstitutes Islamists Socialists and Sickular(PISS) Awards !These awards are being given away to honour all the people who have made great contributions to society in the year gone by and shall take place in January of February(subsequent year)every year.Sit back and enjoy the ride as we present the awards.1)First Award is the Presstitute of the Year Award and it goes to Barkha Dutt(naturally!).The decision of the panel of judges was unanimous.2)Next one is the Presstitute Website of the Year Award and it goes to Troll.in….I mean Scroll.in.3)Janta Ka Reporter gets the Investigative Journalism of the Year Award.4)Best victim card player(media) goes to Bhairavi Singh from NDTV for her role in trying to divert attention from Anupam Kher’s march.5)Best victim card player(non-media) goes to Jasleen Kaur.6)Best fiction Award goes to Intolerance in India.7)Most insightful article of the year was Shoaib Danyal’s Bullet Train Article in which he compared lifetime cost to yearly cost.8)He also bags the best Historian of the Year Award for claiming that Sanskrit originated in Syria.9)Secular of the Year Award goes to Mamata Banerjee Begum.10)Constitution Award(for honouring the values of the constitution) goes to Indian Muslims for protecting and defending Freedom of Speech by threatening to kill evil sanghi Kamlesh Tiwari who dared to insult the great one.Patriot of the Year goes to both Aamir Khan and Shah Rukh Khan.11)Bimbo of the Year Award goes to Shruti Seth.12)Best movie critic award goes to Arvind Kejriwal.13)Enlightener of the Year Award shall be shared by Sudheendra Kulkarni and Vishal Dadlani because they en “lighten” with the help of their shiny heads which are effective and useful light sources when it’s dark.14)Animal Rights Award shall not be awarded to a single individual but shall be given to the entire Adarsh Liberal community for expressing concern over the Yulin Dog Festival but by ignoring cow slaughter.15)Feminazi of the Year Award shall go to Deepika Padukone for her “My Choice” video.And finally,the award that we have all been waiting for.It’s the Adarsh Liberal Hunk of the Year award(Liberal Secular Socialist men are so hot you know).This award is not decided by a panel of judges unlike the other awards but is decided by female voters from all across the Adarsh Liberal Spectrum).There were many candidates but this man clearly won over a majority of Adarsh Liberal Female Awards.We are pleased to announce that the Adarsh Liberal Hunk of the Year is none other than His Highness Lalu Prasad the Great!With this,the award ceremony comes to an end.We congratulate all the award winners but urge all those who have gone back empty handed to strive even harder this year and be as stupid and dishonest as possible this year so that you can be awarded next year.There is no reason why you can’t make it to the awards list if you try hard.If humans reach their full potential,they can do marvelous things.Let us end with a famous quote by Mark Twain who said “Never argue with stupid people,they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience” . So let us all stoop lower and gain more experience this year.Thank you very much.

Ha ha… Presstitutes Islamists Socialists and Sickular(PISS) Awards 🙂 You know I would actually recommend Harish Khare for the first Award. We all know the crooks like Burqa and all… but there are many low life Mameluks who lie low and work in the background.

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