“I was having breakfast when this piece of ciabatta toast got burnt,” he said. “Suddenly I was aware that the pattern of light and darkness across the toast resembled what could have been a visible manifestation of primeval events at the time that planet Earth was forming four and a half billion years ago.

Genuine unretouched photograph, copyright G.T. Meaden

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Physicist Dr. G. Terence Meaden from Oxford University continued, “I feel humbled that I should have been chosen to receive this vision and expression of non-godist reality in this unexpected way. It is plainly a subtle manifestation of the high principle of atheism that goddidnotdoit.”

It is likely to make national headlines as this sensational story spreads through the rationalist community of nonbelievers in godism. Goddidit followers may be unhappy about it though, but after all—if one imitates their sloppy use of the word ‘theory’—then “goddidit is only a ‘theory’, seeing that gods are mere constructs of the human mind”.

“It is exciting because this piece of toast was absolutely genuine. No trickery. It happened, just like that”, said Dr. Meaden—a Tommy Cooper fan.

“You can see a representation of the birthing planet taking in asteroid-size spherical fragments as Young Earth spins and grows into the big planet that we know today.”

We may expect the story to go worldwide as non-acceptors of godism take note. “All I can say is you gotta believe this, because it happened. I have always concurred with the scientific truths of the Aged Earth theory because proven scientific facts are right. Some years ago* a worthy atheist reported an image of burnt toast as depicting the Big Bang, but no photograph was ever produced—so perhaps that account was satirical. Mine is not. I have the picture to prove it."

So can we see the toast, this remarkable vision?

“I’m afraid the photograph is all that remains. The experience so overwhelmed me that, stunned and unthinkingly, I photographed it, buttered it and ate it. But I do have the negative of the original photograph, and the satisfaction of having actually eaten a piece of a nongod.”

You are too late. Some time back we had a fruit looking like Lord Hanuman and as soon as people came to know about it, there were long ques of people wanting to perform pooja. We had idols crying because of the degenerate people of today, we had the idols of Lord Ganesha drinking spoonfuls of milk from our hands. I challenge that no one can beat us at finding such devine manifestations. If challenged, we can produce them by the thousands. So, beware and do not try to take the credit for originality from us!

You rascal! I would have thought of no such thing. It takes imagination to come up with this toast image interpretation. And the numbers of people looking at it are almost as amazing as your satire. Good for you!

Seeing patterns in objects is an art. I can see the Big Dipper and Orien, but the other constellations take a great stretch to recognize; Ptolemy had a far finer imagination than I. You and Marija Gimbutas could also see more than I. Even trying to put myself into a 4,000 years ago time frame helped little. I understand that interpretation depends on the interpreter.

Many of the artifacts I saw while with Gimbutas in Turkey, Greece and Crete, and visiting museums, she pointed out symbolism of the goddess that classically trained archaeologists perceived differently. Male and female archaeologists saw male dominating figures where Gimbutas saw female as the more sacred. There was no dominance, according to her, there was reverence for female attributes or female energy. In Thesselonica, we visited one of her early digs and museum holding her finds. Female figurines outnumbered male 10 to 1 and we saw no temples or alters. It seems, according to Gimbutas, the hearth-stone and fireplace were sacred, as evidenced by figurines and offerings.

I love your response Joan, and agree with what you have said. Marija Gimbutas was a sagacious archaeologist with astute vision at what I see as penetrating correct interpretations. Some archaeologists agree with her and me. Some do not----I suspect many of the latter are bible bashers afraid to spot or discuss the truths about the sexuality inherent in the gentler fertility religions that preceded the destructive monotheistic male god religions. I could write on and on but I have to stop here for now.