So how do you know when you have encountered a toxic person ? The best description I can give is it is like they have shoved a vacuum up your ass & drained every single ounce of energy they could find.

The biggest problem is they come in all areas of life. They could be family, friends, coworkers. It can be so hard, depending where they come in your life. Especially, if you have no other choice than to cut them off.

“We teach people how to treat us.”

Dr Phil

The biggest problem with distinguishing them is, how ? I will Point out a few below but there are so many more. It really does depend on the type of person your are dealing with.

1. The self-absorbed vacuum – When around these kind of people they are so much fun they literally could talk for days. But when do you get to talk about your life. The answer is never.

They emphasis their achievements on a regular basis. All the things they have done in their life, how they feel, what they should do next etc. All the time. No matter what you say they will cut you off because they are not interested in anything you have to say. The is very damaging to your self-esteem.

IF you do get a chance to speak, it would be best used, to restore your energy. They can’t hear you anyway & will cut you off. Do you really need someone like this in your life. Its just like talking to a wall anyway.

2. The dirty laundry – This is the one who can master gossip without making it obvious in so many ways it is oblivious to the naked eye. Making remarks like

Did you see —- she is —– with —-

OMG I can’t believe —- did —–

They are seem lovely in every way possible except the fact they gossip about everyone & everthing including you. Don’t be fooled if they talk with you they will talk about you. You will hear things about yourself that you never knew before. Big no-no.

3. The Victim – Responsibility what the hell is that. They can do it in small doses or enormous. They just cannot accept the fact they could make a mistake.

Working in a group setting something goes wrong. They will either walk away right on time to escape the responsiblity or blame everyone else.

A really expensive piece of equipment breaks at work on their time. They will go the boss & tell them when they got to the machine it wasn’t working & who the last person they seen at it was —–.

These have a lot of good qualities but this one bad quality is actually very dangerous. If you know one of these kind of people you will have to cut them or you will be taking the blame for everything they do wrong & I mean everything.

4. Distortion of the truth – They distort their own reality to the extent they do not even really know what the truth is anymore.

When sitting with these people they will tell you stories that you have facts to back that it is a load of rubbish. But, you will start to believe them even though you know it is not true. Crazy making behaviour that can affect your mental well-being. Runnnnnnnnnnnn

5. The enthusiastic drainer – You head out with these people & your spirits are always quiet high, you’re looking forward to getting out & having a nice day or night. By the end of the date you feel like a zombie.

They have so much to talk about they are great at converting. They could literally talk all day long about everything negative.

You will leave thinking you had a great catch up. However, you will be emotionally drained to the extent of needing to get into bed.

unfortunately, by the time we realise there is something wrong, we have dedicated soooooooooooooooooo much time in these kind of relationships. People who, put us down, say inexcusable things but we do excuse it taking a huge blow to the self-esteem.

It’s very hard to comprehend why we didn’t see it before. Don’t beat yourself up, they are master manipulators, that prey on something they wish they had like genuine happiness.

If you find after reading this you have some or a lot in your life start to re-evaluate your life, its hard but doable.

4 thoughts on “Are you aware of the toxic people in your life ???”

Hi thejourneyofasong, I’m not a expert but I do strongly believe from past experiences when people show theses characteristics they are dealing with some Cognitive distortions. But that doesn’t mean what they do is ok. I have on so many occasions being drained to the extent of not being able to think.

What I found to be useful was due to the severity of their behaviour, was first of all, try setting some boundaries. If this doesn’t work, limit or cut contact. As harsh as it may sound if they don’t respect the boundaries your put into action they don’t respect you, this is not a foundation for health relationship of any kind. Their actions can be very damaging to your mental health. Hope this helps 🙂

You’re so right. They are they only one who can make that change. Unfortunately such people tend to lack self awareness. I’m glad that my someone has left the organization. Wished it could be sooner cos my depression and anxiety disorder is a result of this someone in my life. 😥

My Motto

"Everyone wants a wonderful world filled with peace, happiness, joy, etc. but we have no intentions of looking at ourselves, our minds, our behaviour or what comes out of our own mouth. Its very important to always remember, as much as anyone else, change for you, starts with you.

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