To avoid fainting, keep repeating it's only a move ..only a movie ..only a movie ..only a movie

If you grew up believing that Planet of the Apes told you all you needed to know about politics, that Slade in Flame was a savage exposé of the pop world, and that The Exorcist revealed the meaning of life, then you probably spent far too many of your formative years at the cinema. Just as likely, you soon would have realised that there was only one career open to you - you'd have to become a film critic.

In It's only a Movie, the incomparable Mark Kermode takes us into the weird world of a life lived in widescreen. Join him as he embarks on a gut-wrenching journey through the former Soviet Union on the trail of the low budget horror flick Dark Waters, cringe as he's handbagged by Helen Mirren at the Bafta awards ceremony, cheer as he gets thrown out of the Cannes film festival for heckling in very bad French, and don't forget to gasp as he's shot at while interviewing Werner Herzog in the Hollywood hills.

Written with sardonic wit and wry good humour, this compelling cinematic memoir is genuinely 'inspired by real events'.

Download and start listening now!

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Listener Opinions

by Brigham | 2/5/2014

" I've been listening to Mark's reviews on Five Live with Simon Mayo since 06 and he's always been a favorite. This book retells plenty of his ramblings, including interviewing Werner Herzog when the German director was shot. This book was a lot of fun, especially the audio version read by the author. "

by Daniel Parsons | 1/18/2014

" A book for people who love film; Kermode is wonderfully witty, self-deprecating and most importantly both knows his subject in and out and is clearly passionate about it. His analysis of Blue Velvet, The Exorcist and Mama Mia (how's that for a triple bill?) is on point and fascinating, his "experience" in Russia is hilarious, his love of Werner Herzog and Jason Isaacs infectious. And there's so much more besides. "

by Matthew | 1/11/2014

" Despite having fairly high expectations of this book, it is a 100% bona-fide stinker. It's neither an autobiography and it's not Kermode's views on film, it's the worst thing you could imagine, it's that ramnbling crap you normally skip through on the podcast. I really like Kermode and I have a lot of time for his views on film so what you want is some of his insight. Instead you just have his terrible brand of humour, fitting neatly into what you'd consider 'middle aged Dad gags' and his 'anecdotes'. Anecdotes? They basically consist of being approached by Helen Mirren once, going to University, having a few travel issues on holiday and that bloody Werner Herzog getting shot story that he's been dining out on for the past ten years. In short it turns out there's nothing that interesting to say in how someone became a film critic. The most frustrating part is that Kermode has A LOT of interesting things to say, it just seems in the past 2 or 3 years he's stopped saying any of it. "

by Neil | 1/9/2014

" Took a little while to get into the book, but really enjoyed it once it got going. It is written in the same style as Kermode speaks, which may put people off, or, as was the case for me, made it feel like he was telling the story. If you are a fan of wittertainment then a must read. "

" Interesting and often laugh-out-loud funny because Mark is of an age with me so I get a lot of the references. But they don't call it "wittertainment" for nothing. The Russia and Werner Herzog stories went on a bit much. Having said that, I have his new book on my "to read" shelf. "

Marcus | 3/30/2013

" Some OK bits about different films Kermode has enjoyed but he's not that interesting a guy to have a book written about him. "

Oli Somenzi | 3/3/2013

" Just a series of anecdotes (most of them had been heard many times on live Radio 5 programmes) without any real glue. Is that the dead of narrative autobiographies? Frankly Dr Kermode, I was expecting more. "

Paul | 2/18/2013

" If you listen to the Kermode and Mayo's Wittertainment, none of the stories or anecdotes told here will be new. But they are all told with a self-depreciating sense of humour that makes for a book that is really quite funny. "

Paul | 2/2/2013

" Not bad, a bit like the radio show - lots of anecdotes told in a rambling style. Somehow not quite as satisfying. Maybe he needs another voice to keep bringing him back on track as with Simon Mayo on the radio. "

Tienyin | 1/14/2012

" Any fan of his film review show will love this memoir. It's a mix of rants and anecdotes in his trademark breathless style. "

Damian | 12/27/2011

" As someone who is regularly 'wittertained' by Mark's show with Simon Mayo on a Friday afternoon on BBC Five Live (or more truthfully from the podcast) I can't say I'm objective about this other than to say I found it very entertaining "

Ella Thomas | 7/20/2011

" Funny, Personable and a great read "

Laura | 4/23/2011

" if you love cinema, going to the movies, and reading about it, this man writes about his life regarding his relationship with cinema (he's a critic) it's not only hilarious but brilliant. "

Marko | 2/2/2011

" Good, interesting work from Kermode, particularly for his fans. A bit pretentious at times.
"

Paul | 1/3/2011

" If you listen to the Kermode and Mayo's Wittertainment, none of the stories or anecdotes told here will be new. But they are all told with a self-depreciating sense of humour that makes for a book that is really quite funny.
"

Neil | 11/26/2010

" Took a little while to get into the book, but really enjoyed it once it got going. It is written in the same style as Kermode speaks, which may put people off, or, as was the case for me, made it feel like he was telling the story. If you are a fan of wittertainment then a must read.
"

Margaret | 8/13/2010

" I think this is 2.5 stars for me.
There's not much about films or what it's like to be a film critic. Lots of self-deprecating but that gets a bit wearing.
"

Martyn | 7/24/2010

" feels like a missed opportunity and not enough depth.
"

Craig | 7/22/2010

" A rather disappointing rant from motormouth Kermode. I like his film reviews but wasn't impressed with this. The only highlight was his story of being with Werner Herzog when the German director was shot. Not recommended.
"

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