On Wednesday 10 days ago, around lunchtime, I turned middle-aged in an instant. At noon I was bouncing cheerfully down Green Lanes on my way to the gym, feeling quite invincible, and an hour later, after a 5km run on the cross-trainer, I stumbled to one of the outside tables of a Costa coffee shop, clenching my chest, and getting more and more convinced that I was about to die. It did turn out I was not very far from dying, but this was prevented, primarily by my friend Ilana Bakal, who was meeting me for an after-workout coffee and walked straight into the dramatic scene.

No less helpful were the young ladies who work for Costa, who kindly offered water and help, and the speedy and efficient arrival of an NHS paramedic, followed by an intensive care unit. They instantly diagnosed my heart attack, and speeded me over to London's Chest Hospital, Bethnal Green. Half an hour after the beginning of the whole episode, a stent was already located safely inside my heart and my blocked artery was clean.

"Oi, that's not fair," I kept protesting as devoted medics – led by the stunning Dr Andrew Wragg, no doubt a distant relative of George Clooney – were sticking various needles into my arms. "I'm only 39! I run 5km three times a week, I eat only complex carbs, thin proteins and vegetables, I smoke only 10 ciggies a day." The unimpressed Dr Wragg said quitting smoking completely would be the only way to make sure that we should never meet again. Someone ought to tell him that this is not necessarily an efficient line for him to use on ladies of a tender age.

After two nights in the charming emergency ward I was sent back home with a frighteningly large bag of tablets and instructions to not work for a month (yeah, right), not smoke (I'm constantly chewing on one of those plastic Nicorette sticks and beginning to think that death might not be such a bad alternative after all) and complete some procedure known as "cardiac rehab", before going back to regular exercise.

Near-death experiences make people reflect in the most boring way about life, age, fear, the betrayal of the body, the fickleness of youth and whatnot. Naturally, I'm doing my fair share of this sort of tedium, but I am adamant at this point in time to protect my readers from its wrath. Suffice to say I'm not feeling like the hottest chick in town this week. But there's another aspect of this little ordeal which I think is much more significant.

As I was struggling to breathe at the doorstep of Fitness First Harringay, I asked Ilana to go up there and see if one of the instructors, who obviously are qualified to deliver first aid, would care to come and take a look at me. It is a friendly gym, maybe not exactly the poshest one on earth, but I've enjoyed it for quite a while. I had no doubt someone would come. Ilana rushed up and darted back looking even paler than before. She said they refused to come, claiming they don't want to "take responsibility". She was told that if the situation was serious she should go and call an ambulance. No one offered her a glass of water. No one offered to call the ambulance from the gym. It was at this point that I started, literally, seeing in black and white, and Ilana dialled 999 from her mobile phone.

I feel as offended by my gym as I feel grateful to the NHS. It was not the first time I watched the NHS operate in an emergency, and pathetic tears of gratitude choke me whenever I think of the efficiency, kindness, professionalism and speed on the part of anybody involved – medics, nurses, technical staff and doctors. It also has not escaped my attention that when you need their help, nobody at the NHS asks you who you are, what are your rights, where are you from, are you in the country legally or anything of that nature. All they need to know is that you are a human being in need.

In the private sector, however, the dread of "suits" and the need to wave off "liability" at all costs, have long ago pushed aside common sense and basic human decency. Urban legends about people "in America" who tried to help others and got "sued for millions for killing them by mistake" circle around freely. Combined with a fast spreading culture of "more than my job's worth", they prompt the creation of a rather ugly society, devoid of any solidarity. The blank expression of the young receptionist, who refused to help Ilana, and me, without a flinch, raises my blood pressure to dangerous levels which I promised Dr Wragg to avoid. We all see those blank faces around us all the time, and their numbers are growing.

There were a few phases to the response I got from Fitness First, at my request. First I received a nice phone call from an earnest young man called Craig Talbert. He offered a heartfelt apology, professed shock at the behaviour described, assured me that this was not in any way the company's policy and promised to make sure that staff were directed to help people in need.

There was also talk of free memberships and refunds to which I said I only wanted to end my current membership at Fitness First. But three days later, I received through Alyson Marlow, who is in charge of the PR of the Leepeck Group, owner of Fitness First, an official response signed by Talbert. The written response showed no trace of the sentiments expressed by Talbert in person. After stating that there's always a staff member who can deal with an emergency situation present at the gym, the response says:

Fitness First Harringay records Daphna Baram entered the Harringay gym at 12.29pm on Wednesday June 10. The three club team members who were on duty at the time of the incident confirm that a member of the public entered the club at approximately 3-4pm and said that her friend (now known to be Daphna Baram) had been in the gym earlier that day and didn't feel too well. The female asked if we could diagnose a suspected pulled muscle while the member was in Costa Coffee which is situated on the ground floor below Fitness First, making no indication that her friend's condition may be serious. The general manager explained that Fitness First is not qualified to offer a diagnosis and, on the understanding that the member was under the care of staff on other premises, that if the female was concerned then Fitness First staff would call an ambulance. The lady said that she didn't want to call an ambulance unless she was sure it was needed. Fitness First reiterated that if there were serious concerns an ambulance should be called and offered to make this call. On this occasion the member was not present, and there was no indication of the severity of the incident.

At 3pm I was already in the hospital post-procedure, as all medical documents show. Placing the arrival of the "female" at the gym at this time appears to put a long time between my visit to the gym and the time of the heart attack. If the staff members had no indication as to the severity of the incident, why would they suggest an ambulance? Wouldn't a quick look at me have told them all they need to know severity-wise? Also, they simply did not propose to call an ambulance.

But this dispute about the details is hardly of great interest. One thing appears to be clear. Fitness First thinks it is absolutely fine that none of its staff members agreed to step out and have a look at a club member in agony, because she was blissfully at the other side of the gym's door.

It seems to me that a lot of this moral, verbal and procedural gymnastics has to do with the famous fear of liability, and I am happy to put my money where my mouth is and declare hereby with all my three readers as witnesses: I do not think Fitness First caused my heart attack in any way. I do not think Fitness First could have prevented my heart attack in any way. And hell, I do not even think that had they acted in a more humane way, the outcome of the episode would have been medically any different. Therefore, I have no intention of suing Fitness First for the fact that my heart attack started at the gym.

All I want in return is for Fitness First to put its shield down and say in so many words that it expects its staff to deliver help at the best of their ability to any person who asks for it, within a reasonable diameter from its premises. Staff should be directed to do so not because it is "legal" and not because otherwise they'd be sued, but because it is what's right.