Chuck is the author of the published novels: Blackbirds, Mockingbird, Under the Empyrean Sky, Blue Blazes, Double Dead, Bait Dog,Dinocalypse Now, Beyond Dinocalypse and Gods & Monsters: Unclean Spirits. He also the author of the soon-to-be-published novels: The Cormorant, Blightborn (Heartland Book #2), Heartland Book #3, Dinocalypse Forever, Frack You, and The Hellsblood Bride. Also coming soon is his compilation book of writing advice from this very blog: The Kick-Ass Writer, coming from Writers Digest.

He, along with writing partner Lance Weiler, is an alum of the Sundance Film Festival Screenwriter’s Lab (2010). Their short film, Pandemic, showed at the Sundance Film Festival 2011, and their feature film HiM is in development with producers Ted Hope and Anne Carey. Together they co-wrote the digital transmedia drama Collapsus, which was nominated for an International Digital Emmy and a Games 4 Change award.

Chuck has contributed over two million words to the game industry, and was the developer of the popular Hunter: The Vigil game line (White Wolf Game Studios / CCP). He was a frequent contributor to The Escapist, writing about games and pop culture.

Much of his writing advice has been collected in various writing- and storytelling-related e-books.

He currently lives in the forests of Pennsyltucky with wife, two dogs, and tiny human.

He is likely drunk and untrustworthy. This blog is NSFW and probably NSFL.

Chuck Wendig is a novelist, screenwriter, and game designer. This is his blog. He talks a lot about writing. And food. And pop culture. And his kid. He uses lots of naughty language. NSFW. Probably NSFL. Be advised.

Let The Carousel Of Pimpage Go ‘Round And ‘Round

Whew, sorry this post is late — was up in NYC yesterday joining my writing partner Lance at the WGA to give a talk about transmedia. Was a blasty-blast, but that means I didn’t manage to sling together a post for today. Don’t look at me like that. With those sad eyes. That quivering lip. That trembling .38 snubnose in your greasy paw.

Anyway, this past week, Internet Ubermeister John Scalzi said, “Hey, come here to parade your traditionally-published books, come here to parade your self-pub works, come here to tell us about your other awesome arts and crafts.” Awesome for him to open his blog that way. Here I’ve opened the circus of pimpage from time to time, and Scalzi’s posts reminded me — hey, I have not done that in a while.

So, here we go. Just in time for the (un)holy daze of the holidays.

We’ll toss it all into one big mash –

Pimp whatever you want.

Book of any published pedigree, comic, toys, ARG, blog, Tumblr devoted to your mustache, anything and anything that can be pimped should be pimped.

Further, don’t think you have to pimp your work. The true Christmas spirit is pimping the work of someone else. Call out things you love by people you respect and tell us how to procure them.

Most important — pimping needs you to answer that “why” question. Don’t just say I WROTE BOOK HERE LINK NNGGHH — what were you, raised in a blog-barn? Sell us on it, by gum and by golly.

The feature film goes into production soon. The novel will be out next fall. You want gaming? You’ll get it. The first three issues of the Angel Punk comic are available now. Get a behind the scenes look at the project in process at AngelPunk.co (yes, that’s .co).

If you “like” us on Facebook on December 8th or 9th, you’ll be automatically entered to win a set of Angel Punk comments.

I’ll toss something onto the carousel. I am the head of touch of evil productions (although we do love horror movies, the name comes from the Orson Welles flick) and at our website http://www.touchofevilproductions.com/ you can follow us as we go step by step, from story development to distribtion, on making movies and trying to get them out to an audience. Along the way, you will also find movie news and commentary (particular to independent movies and DIY filmmaking) and whatever babbling brook of bullshit we want to unleash on the world.

Tristan Tarwater just put out Thieves at Heart, which is a character-driven fantasy about a half-elf girl kidnapped from a brothel and brought into a life of thievery. It’s well-written, I like the characters, and i’m eagerly awaiting the sequel’s release early next year. (Also I designed their t-shirts!) http://www.backthatelfup.com

And for my own pimpage, I draw the comic Walking on Broken Glass. It’s a supernatural office dramedy romance about ~murder~. It follows a small group of werewolves as they try to defend their city from invading abominations; meanwhile, the head werewolf (who also happens to be CEO of a company) has a horrible prophecy hanging over his head he’s trying to beat with the help of his gunslinging fashionista secretary. It’s dark, it’s fun, it’s written by the *fabulous* Samantha Mathis, and you can read it all here!

Chuck, thanks for the opportunity to show a some leg, wink at the passers-by and growl, “hey, baby, wanna little word sugar?” I appreciate it, and I must confess that after reading your “seductions of self-publishing” post this week, I am now nervous about my own project, which I’m fairly confident I am doing entirely wrong.

But before I get to my own inevitable failure, let me tout the good work of my friend, who I am sure is doing it totally right: Daphne Taylor Street, and her Book of Carver. Check it out when you can:

Thank you, Chuck, for the opportunity to pimp myself in a way that doesn’t normally involve scrawling my name and number on the inside of a men’s room stall.

Aw, hell. Since you mentioned the whole Christmas spirit thing, I guess I’ll start with other people first. I’m not used to un-douchy moves like this, like talking highly of others first, but here goes nothin’.

I am a proud member of DFW Writers’ Workshop (That stands for Dallas-Fort Worth just in case you unfortunately live outside the borders of the Republic of Texas), and I have two of the most incredible mentors and friends there — even if they are completely unaware of being my mentors and friends… Ahem…

The first writer and fellow DFWWW member that I want to mention, Rosemary Clement-Moore, is an exceptional YA author who writes about female protagonists battling evil while putting up with a**hole males. Her latest book, Texas Gothic, can be found here:

Another awesome person and fellow workshop member, A. Lee Martinez, is someone who Chuck would like: A. Lee’s brand of humorous sci-fi / fantasy is sort of like what Douglas Adams would write while dropping acid and smoking a joint AT THE SAME TIME. A. Lee’s latest book, Chasing the Moon, can be found here:

Hi, My debut YA supernatural novel, Witchblood, will hopefully be published (if I finish checking for typos and sort the cover out in time) next month. I’m hoping to publish on Amazon,B&N, iTunes, and Smashwords.

Witchblood IS another vampire story BUT I believe it IS different enough. It is British, set in a gritty urban northern city called Manchester, near where I grew up. It touches on girl gangs and alcholism, but mainly I guess its a teenage love triangle between an angel, a vampire and a girl-witch turned vampire, who refuses to tow the party line.

I wrote Witchblood because I love the genre, and I had a story of my own to tell; and also I felt 95% of the genre was written in and set in the US – I wanted to add something Brit!

I have set up a new blog and twitter account to (hopefully) get some interest before I publish, where I’m chatting about my journey to becoming an indie author. I’ve had a hell of a year! Follow me here at http://www.witchbloodthenovel.com

A guy’s book, Merlin 444 is all about fast cars, fast planes and crazy mysteries. In this character-driven Action/Adventure novel, Bobby starts out as a typical young guy from any small town. Suddenly thrust into an unexpected situation, he has to deal with his own family crisis while resolving a 50 year old mystery. The story keeps up a blistering pace as the action comes hot and heavy, one thing after another. Available at all the top ebook stores, and in paperback from Amazon. http://amzn.to/rMnYtb

The other book, DreamWeaver, is a short suspense novel I decided to put up free – Yeah, FREE – to celebrate the holiday.

Hard and Fast – Zeke Jackson’s sister has gone missing in the jungles of Southeast Asia. His search for her takes him from the red light districts of Vietnam to the mean streets of New York. Finally he finds the help he needs in the back alleys of one of South Africa’s most notorious shanty towns. But the things Zeke will have to do, and the price he’ll have to pay are beyond anything he ever expected.

Unfortunately Amazon hasn’t got with the spirit of the season, so get it free from Apple, B&N and Sony, or if you have a Kindle, go to Smashwords and get a .mobi file there. https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50165

I am a freelance fiction editor based in Canberra, Australia; but I am also experienced in working with US and UK writing conventions.
Your mum and best friend think your novel is fantastic? Send it to me and I will help you to actually make it so. I will work with you on characterisation, world-building and plot as well as spelling and punctuation.

Jim Butcher – Codex Alera – It is one of my favorite Fantasy series I’ve read and has a slew of engaging characters that you not only love to hate, but hate to love. GET IT!

On that same vein, The Dresden Files. Without this series I’d probably go mad. I’m sure most of you have heard of the Urban Fantasy series and I am in love with it. Give it a try and I hope you love it too!

RPGS:

Paizo – Pathfinder – If you are into pen and paper RPGs, Dungeons and Dragons status, Pathfinder (IMHO) is the best of the best. Highly recommended! Great rules, great art, great fluff, just greatness.

Video Games:
The Eldar Scrolls – Skyrim – Holy mother of addictive shit is this game fun. Super immersive RPG, lots of story and plenty of action. Give it a whirl if you have the spare coin for it.

Tabletop Wargamming:
Warmachine & Hordes by Privateer Press – This game is amazingly good. Not sure if anyone is interested in these style games but the hobby is fantastic and fun, although expensive. Think Steampunk magic in a fantasy setting called the Iron Kingdoms. Its really great, has fantastic characters and some amazing models. Solid and balanced rules that make the gaming environment very enjoyable!

My pimpage was not all books, but was indeed things I’ve been Obsessed as of late! Hope someone finds them as enjoyable as I do! Happy Holidays folks!

Watcher: Book I of The Chosen by Roh Morgon, is a paranormal fantasy about a woman’s struggle to survive after she’s ripped away from her family and left for dead.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Predator. Killer. Monster.

The words echo in Sunny Martin’s head each time she looks in the mirror. Since the night she was torn from her car and drained of her blood, Sunny’s fear of the hungry beast within her is rivaled only by the fear of exposure.

Her lonely struggle to survive on the edge of the human world leads Sunny to the mountain peaks of Colorado where she meets Nicolas, the enigmatic leader of a hidden society.

Oh cool, a challenge to come out of lurkerdom and engage in annoying BSP. Thanks, Chuck, you are so nice and sweet and– um, never mind.

There are SO MANY writers I could recommend, but two recent reads stand out in my memory:

JD Rhoades’ writing just keeps getting better and stronger (and it has been kick-ass all along) and his latest is GALLOWS POLE. This is a thriller with a serial killer, high tech gadgetry, bloody violence, FBI and former spec ops types, and suspense that doesn’t let up. I loved it. I’m sure you can get it many places, but here is the Amazon link:

Next up, something completely different. A delightfully charming children’s book titled THE CHRISTMAS THINGY from F. Paul Wilson, illus. by Alan M. Clark. Yes, that F. Paul Wilson. Really. I loved the story (it made me cry) and the illustrations are amazing. I hope they put out a new paper version of this. I’ll buy several copies to give as gifts. At Amazon:

And yes, I have a tiny little thing I’m self-pubbing. It’s not a novel, but a collection of (mostly) humorous blog posts (est 32K words). It started as an experiment of the self-pub process, but I’m really proud of how it’s shaping up. I’m honestly not sure it’s the kind of thing commenters over here would want to read, but it might be a great gift for everyone’s mom. The gift of humor is always appropriate, right? Well, I guess that depends on your mom. I suspect some of you all were hatched. Or something.

I expect to have the cover in the next couple days (still can’t quite believe the awesome Jeroen ten Berge agreed to work with me on this!) and then it’ll be ready to go. I’m calling it: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Lunch with Imaginary Friends and Other (mostly) True Stories

For now, you can read about it on my blog [ http://KDJames.com ] and in a few days, okay maybe a week, it will be available in all the usual online retail spaces. I will try not to break any of them in the process.

FARTING IN CHURCH is seven religiously irreverent and somewhat fictionalized tales of the author’s mistakes and occasional triumphs. These hilarious stories and short essays will make you laugh and show you it’s OK to laugh at your mistakes, because everyone else does. This ebook includes a bonus chapter from Anthony Elmore’s upcoming novel, Rapture Express.

A few samples:

“With an angel-deafening bluster, a fart roared through the gymnasium, climbing to a forte then ascending to a piccolo then down another register.”

“On my drab sweater, the consequence ran in a long, diagonal streak from my belly to my right shoulder. I desperately tried to dab it off with the toilet paper but just got smeared.”

Jesse Rules is the journal of 15 year old closeted Catholic megalomaniac Jesse Amos. Lovers of snark and 90s nostalgia will enjoy. Jesse plays his Super Nintendo, he studies, he plots for the class presidency, he practices with his heavy metal cover band, Colostomy Grab Bag, he has random gay thoughts, he prays, he plots, he rules. I fucking promise.

As an Expat and Freelance Writer (relatively new to the game) I’m experiencing some of the usual hardships that face all writers but some others that are unique to my situation. Namely finding people to collaborate with, freelance work as markets are limited, writing groups/workshops, and a slew of other things. So I’m blogging about my experiences to share them with others but also in a hope of gaining some knowledge from others who are also writing abroad.

I’m not only doing freelance journalism but working on my own creative writing and soon going to be documenting my experience using a variety of online writing communities since those are the only option I really have living in Southeast Asia. I also through up posts concerning the latest news in writing/publishing, the occasional review of books blogs and podcasts, and other tidbits from now and then.

You can also find me on twitter at: @SvenNomadsson

Thanks Chuck for the chance to pimp myself, you’re 20% is in the mail. And I’m looking forward to everyone else’s stuff.

Thanks Chuck,
I’ve nothing like a book to pimp here, I just have my blog where I write short stories. It’s at http://www.fubar69.blogspot.com. I sometimes write every day in a month, some times the stories get written as they come to me, there are month long pieces of long fiction spread through the year too. I keep the stories real short and interesting so that they can be read quickly.
Cheers!

If you want to read Part 2 (Singing Other Worlds– which will be available in a couple of weeks) all you have to do is make a small donation.

—

Kim thinks her day is going badly when her friend fails to meet her at Sherwood Forest. Then an annoying knight hits on her and she is stalked by an elf and a dwarf. But then the aliens attack and things really start to go down hill. Collecting strange companions along the way she finds herself in a race to stop the war with the aliens before things really get out of control.

The Space Between is set in the multiverse of Ananake and draws on myths and legends of ancient Earth, weaving a tale that moves from Sherwood Forest to distant worlds and outer space. It involves, amongst other things, magical gateways, Area 51, sentient spacecraft, a 50 thousand year old intergalactic war, elves and dwarves, wonder bras, Machu Picchu and strong coffee.

Having recently discovered the awesome hilarity here at TerribleMinds (not ass kissing, point blank you’ve had me laughing so hard I peed), I’ll gladly join in the self pimpage.

BECAUSE OF YOU came out on November 14th. It’s totally a naked man on the cover romance novel written by moi, an active duty army captain and all around crazy person who is still surprised they let her lead soldiers. Somehow managed to write the book despite being a company commander, husband deployed to Iraq, 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 children who are moderately picky eaters. It’s a miracle it got written and an even bigger miracle that it sold.

BECAUSE OF YOU has it all, a little romance, some combat action, dick jokes and the black humor that soldiers use to get through some pretty terrible shit. I have it on good authority that there are actually 3 men READING it (not just bought it because they’re my friends) and one of them is a Special Forces Sergeant Major.

I’ve got a lazily-updated website, pitchaweek.wordpress.com, that’s a good source for half-formed ideas. However, I’ve also got a book that’s under consideration by a couple of publishers and for which I’m running a Kickstarter campaign in the event that consideration doesn’t quite pan out… or to help pre-sell, as the case may be.

I don’t have anything to sell, but I have a couple of stories for you.
In the early days of my blog–back in aught-six–the writing, she was not so good. But the stories were compelling…or so I thought. And anyway, I’ve gotten better. Or, I’ve not gotten worse. Progress is relative.
When I post a story, y’all come around and read it on my blog, and I appreciate it. And I appreciate the comments and kind words.
It’s called Riding in Cars with Pizza, because I have spent the best stupid years of my life doing just that. Tonight, a selection of stories for you to check out. One is about the time I got robbed. You’ll have to see what the others are.
But feel free to kick around my archives. Some deep, dark shit in there, man. And also–all of these stories are absolutely true. But some are truer than others.Twenty-Two Bucks, Two Large Pizzas, and my InnocenceSubtletiesMy Ding-a-LingThe Four Horsemen