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Okay, So You’re Not Cool

I just want to be cool. I mean really cool.
Like, just look f***ing cool, say cool s**t, have people think I’m cool, to be flat out cool.
Style, taste, detached cool vibe…
But I’m not. What should I do?

UnCool in Utah

Dear UnCool,

I am not sure what the definition of cool is in your world. Where you come from, do your loser people find you uncool also. Did it take you long to get to earth? Welcome!

If you mean by cool, like James Dean, oh, sorry you probably don’t even know, who James Dean is. Let’s try again! If you want to be cool like LJCool or some rapper person, go for it. Dress up and be phat. Do your thing and be funky.

Waste some time looking at magazines, finding that look that you want. Then, go out and waste money on the look that will make you feel cool. Be like Eminem or Lil Wayne. Cool indeed! Like Justin Bieber!

On the other hand, one is either cool or not. I am not sure that this approach or any approach will make you awesome, the way you mean. It’s alright to be a loser if you know that you are not hip. Cool is a state of mind. No amount of dress will make you un-geeky. You will only look like a pillock.

Cool is an attitude! By thinking that there is a way to behave, you are already losing the battle. Cool is inside. Cool is the knowledge that you know who you are, inside.

You sound to me like you want to be anyone but yourself. You have this silly image of coolness, and you want to force feed yourself that persona.

Maybe when they come, in the ship, to take you back home, you can get over this obsession with coolness and be your weird self.