Why only about half of Americans are showing Valentine’s Day any love this year

Although Valentine’s Day spending is up, fewer people are actually celebrating the holiday.

Scukrov/iStock

While fewer people are celebrating Valentine’s Day, those who are will spend more.

By

NicoleLyn Pesce

The bloom is off the rose for many couples this Valentine’s Day.

While more than 60% of American adults planned to celebrate the romantic holiday a decade ago, today only about half (51%) expect to treat their sweethearts or themselves, according to the National Retail Federation’s latest Valentine’s Day spending report. And the number of shoppers showing the holiday some love has been trending downward for 12 years.

This aligns with a recent Swagbucks report that found most surveyed Americans (87%) admit that Valentine’s Day is not the time when they spend the most money on their significant other. In fact, most of them (47%) plan to cap their Valentine’s spending at $99, and 51% don’t expect their partner to drop more than $99 on them, either.

Heck, you can’t even buy a box of Sweethearts conversation candy hearts anymore, since parent company Necco shut down in July. (Although they hope to have production back up in time for Valentine’s 2020.)

Stephanie Routson said that she and her wife never celebrate Valentine’s Day. “I feel like having a day that ‘requires’ you to celebrate your romantic love with partners is somewhat insulting,” Routson, 34, from California, told Moneyish. “I don’t think that people should need a specific day to celebrate your partner or do nice romantic things for them, as this is something you should be doing for your partner throughout the year.”

She added, “I also felt that (Valentine’s Day) was a way to ‘other’ or marginalize single people. And I just felt like it was negative messaging to people to make them feel less-than if they weren’t coupled.”

Shoppers expressed similar sentiments to the NRF last year. “We did some surveying to understand why people might choose not to participate,” Katherine Cullen, the NRF director of industry and consumer insights, told Moneyish. “And three overwhelming reasons were that: there was a sense of feeling among some consumers that Valentine’s Day is over-commercialized; people also tend not to participate if they do not have a significant other; and then they just weren’t interested anymore.”

And some of those who are observing the holiday are showing their love on a budget this year as Americans grapple with $1.4 trillion in student debt and the average household has nearly $7,000 in revolving credit card debt as of 2018. Amanda, a blogger who declined to give her last name, said she and her husband (who’ve been together for 15 years, and married for nine) have capped their Valentine’s budget at $60 apiece, and plan to hit his favorite Thai restaurant in Richmond, Virginia, which is where they would go when they were first dating. “We’re paying off some student loan debt, as I think most people our age are, and we’re going to try to go on vacation this summer, so we don’t want to blow our budget on this,” Amanda, 34, told Moneyish.

“When we were younger, our Valentine’s Days were more extravagant,” she added, like dropping $750 on two nights at a Virginia Beach spa. “But as I’ve gotten older, I don’t really celebrate many things like that. We’re much more low key now. We make a much bigger deal out of birthdays, Christmas and our anniversary. Valentine’s Day falls somewhere behind those.”

Oluchi, a writer who also declined to give her last name, said that she and her boyfriend generally keep Valentine’s Day classic with dinner and a movie. But even they are opting for a quiet night in this year. “We plan on having a romantic candlelit dinner at home, with the room decorated with red flowers, and we’ll also watch a romantic movie indoors,” she told Moneyish.

It should be noted that while fewer people claim to be celebrating Valentine’s Day, the NRF reports that Americans are actually expected to spend a record $20.7 billion overall this year, and $161.96 apiece, which is a 13% increase from the $143.56 each shopper spent last year.

That’s because those who still mark Valentine’s Day are dropping more money -- and not just on their sweethearts, but on their kids, friends, family, coworkers and pets. In fact, of the $18.40 increase that each person is spending, on average, only $4.26 comes from spending on spouses and significant others. Shoppers are laying out $29.87 on other relatives (up $4.58 from last year); $9.78 on friends (up $2.59); and $6.94 on pets (up $1.44), among others. Rover.com also reports that almost half (47%) of its pet parents have planned a Valentine’s Day celebration for their dogs this year, such as buying them a new outfit or baking them a dessert.

Or there’s also a subset of people who claim they are not celebrating Valentine’s Day per se, but they end up pampering themselves, or having a girls’ night “Galentine’s Day,” so they end up contributing to Valentine’s spending, anyway. The NRF reports that 11% of people plan to treat themselves to gifts like clothes or jewelry for Valentine’s Day, and 9% will get together with single friends and family.

“It’s interesting that … there’s also this group of people who are celebrating, but not participating,” added Cullen, such as buying a pink Valentine-themed drink at Starbucks or a heart-shaped doughnut at Dunkin’ and sharing it on Instagram. “The definition of how you celebrate on Valentine’s day has broadened a lot.”

This article was originally published on Feb. 7, 2019.

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