The the life and times of a single black woman, learning lessons, one experience at a time.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Rude Girl

im a mean girl, and i can't tell you when it started. The older i've gotten i've noticed i am not only mean, but judgemental, and rude. And its bad, really bad. If i'm angry its not just addressing my anger its dismembering whomever i fault for my anger, verbally.
This is a problem for 3 reasons:
1. behaving in this way usually is an attempt to feel better about my self
2. i'm not building up the body of Christ with my behavior
3. idk what people are dealing with, and my words/actions are damaging (i'm 99.9% sure)
4. i don't extend grace to others, even thought i desperately need it extended to me

This issue has been brought up to me before, but more recently a friend sincerely sat down and talked to me about it. Truthfully there are many areas in my life that i'm not content with, bringing someone else's faults/struggles is a way to take attention off of myself.

Heart Issue
This isn't just a lesson in being kinder. This flaw questions my heart. I know we are evil people with ugly hearts, but what heart issues do i desperately need to address?

In the mission of becoming more Christ-like i am finding that my dark heart has so many areas that need to be addressed. Sometimes it becomes overwhelming looking at the list of places i need transformation. No one thing is bigger than any other, as they all construct who i am. I struggle on how to address these flaws from a Christ centered stance bcs. i feel like there are just soooo many things to fix, wherever would i start.

i'm blessed to have friends who love me enough to bring these things to my attention, and are willing to walk with me during this time