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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

In continuation of last week’s article, I now give you Disney Princesses – Part 2 as indicated by the title above. This week we will take a look at the four remaining Disney Princesses and how they are poor role models for young girls and altogether bad for society as a whole.

06. Jasmine – Here we have a young girl who is constantly disobedient to her father (who is also sultan btw), who runs away from home on a regular basis, wears hammer pants, and rather than pursuing a relationship with an upstanding member of society (who just so happens to be rich, handsome and royalty), she decides to go for the ruffian punk kid who steals for a living and is commonly known as a “street rat.” By today’s standards, this degenerate would be accurately known as “drug dealer.” Since when is it okay to tell little girls they should aspire to marry a street rat when they grow up?

07. Pocahontas – The only of the Disney Princesses that is actually based on a historical character, Pocahontas is everything the real Pocahontas was not. The real Pocahontas was about 10 years old when she saved John Smith’s life, she did not know him prior to the encounter and never had any kind of ongoing relationship with him. She also did not worship talking trees and was baptized as a born again Christian after marrying John Rolfe in 1614. But I guess its okay to completely deface a historical figure and add fiction to his/her story if it means box office sales.

08. Mulan – Ah, the Chinese woman who looks like a man. So much like a man that her gender was never questioned throughout months in a military training encampment. The ultimate example of feminist role reversal, Mulan gives the audience the impression that all men are idiots and women are the best at fighting giant hulking Huns. If only the Huns had sent their women to invade China, then they would have won.

09. Tiana – Also not a real princess until she marries a frog, Tiana is an American living in New Orleans in 1912. Wearing a princess costume for a masquerade ball, Tiana is mistaken as a real princess by a frog who just happens to be a prince from a country that still has a monarchy. Since I have yet to see “The Princess and The Frog,” I will not comment further regarding the negative aspects of the film or its “princess.” If you have seen the movie, feel free to add input in the comments section.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Disney has a tried and true method for developing many of their classic characters – A beautiful princess that goes through many a trial but ultimately ends up with a handsome prince charming. It’s a rubber stamp formula that is often cliché and repetitive, but it works. To quote the only animated film ever nominated for Best Picture: “If it’s not baroque, don’t fix it.”
But has anyone ever really taken a critical and admittedly cynical look into the lives of these Princesses? Little girls love them because they wear Drancy Fesses, women love them because they are “strong,” and guys love them because they are “hot” and “rich” (everything a man wants his woman to be). But what really lies under the skin deep beauty and initial appeal of these characters? Let’s analyze them, shall we?

01. Cinderella – Not really a princess at all except by marriage, this little girl is everything she is because of other people. She was a slave because of her step mother and sisters, she was made into a fake princess by her fairy god mother, she was rescued by her animal friends and she was made into a real princess by the prince. Basically Cinderella doesn’t even really exist except as a shell entity that is swayed and moved by whichever way the proverbial wind is blowing.

02. Snow White – Allegedly the fairest maiden in the land, Snow White obviously lived in a land where standards for feminine beauty were extremely low. With her pale white skin and plain features, Snow looks like one who has some kind of unshakable disease. Based on her general attitude and the fact that she eats poisoned fruit received from an obviously shady old woman, it is clear that Snow is not the brightest bulb on the strand.

03. Aurora – Also known as Sleeping Beauty, this princess was given an unfair advantage at birth. Bestowed with super human beauty and singing skills by the fairies Flora and Fauna, has no one realized how superficial these gifts are? What good would beauty and singing do the kingdom if Aurora had turned out to be pure evil? How about something like ‘the gift of wisdom’ or ‘the gift of purity’? I guess the scale of what makes a good princess is measured only by how she looks and sounds.

04. Belle – Belle is a clearly disturbed small town girl who falls in love with a creature of another species. Enough said.
05. Ariel – Filled with teen angst, this half fish girl strives to be something she’s not…a woman. This is displayed by Ariel’s constant rebellion to her authorities, her whiny sel-fish (ha!) attitude and the fact that she’s half fish.