A Movie Drinking Game for Rocky III

There is slow-mo action. It is a well-known fact that if action = awesome, then slow-mo action = aaaaaawwwweesooooooooommmmee....

Mickey drops a classic quip. Maybe it’s the gravelly voice, or maybe it’s the face like a catcher’s mitt, but that guy is charming as hell.

Someone throws a haymaker. A haymaker is a powerful straight-armed punch that comes from the shoulder. If delivered by Mr. T, it’s likely to break someone’s face. If delivered by you, it’s likely to break your shoulder. The haymaker was invented by Dick Tracy.

Clubber Lang starts slingin’ insults! The Clubber Lang School of Insults suggests the following sequence to break your foe’s spirit:

put on feather earrings/tasseled suede jacket combo

creep in the crowd while your opponent goes about his normal life

tell opponent you are going to kill him

insist you are unstoppable

insist again but change wording slightly

write opponent a prescription for “pain”

try to get opponent’s wife to come back to your apartment

give opponent’s extremely old, frail trainer a heart attack

finish by punching a cameraman

Pauly gets indignant. How many times I gotta tell you, Pauly? You keep running that mouth in Apollo’s gym, you’re gonna get pushed into a pool.

It becomes (sadly) obvious that Rocky’s lost the hunger. The hunger is not that of a delicious meatball sub, or the love of a good woman. It’s the love of punching some guy in the face a bunch of times, then letting him punch you in the face, then taking a break to spit up some blood, then some more punching, etc. It’s the manliest and most hospital-inducing of hungers.

You are inspired by Apollo’s training wisdom. Apollo’s training style is basically three-fold: dancing, swimming, and “eye of the tiger.” And when that doesn’t work, there’s always the one-two punch: male midriff and short-shorts.

Bonus Drinks

FINISH YOUR BEER for the appearance of Thunderlips!

Take a secretive sip whenever Clubber Lang is just creepin’ in the background.