Three friends attempt to complete each game in their entire PC games catalogue in alphabetical order, with only one life per game. Which games will they clock? Which will they fail miserably? Which ones will even install after all these years? One chance, one life, no mistakes.

Monday, 1 April 2013

Atom Zombie Smasher

I always talk about how I think I'd be pretty good at surviving the zombie apocalypse, so much so, that I really do want it to happen. Really. I do. I've seen enough zombie films in my time, so I know how they move and what they feast on. How to get rid of them? Well, I've practically grown up playing video games, so obviously I know to aim for the head. My youth was training.

The flat I'm currently renting seems to be perfectly designed against the undead horde, too. Firstly, I'm on the 2nd floor in this house. Second, the narrow entrance to our flat acts as a brilliant choke point. Thirdly, my cupboards are well stocked with baked beans and green herbs. And lastly, I own a shotgun.

Okay, well I might have embellished that a little bit.

I actually live on the first floor.

What I would be very rubbish at though, is evacuating a whole city. I can't stand middle management, you see. Unfortunately for me, this would be the goal of the next game on the list: Atom Zombie Smasher.

It's the 60's. The city of Nuevos Aires is overrun with zeds. El Presidente has called me by name. I tell him that I can only do this if there zombies are random, permadeath mode is enabled and if its hardcore. He says, "put 'No Quarter' on, and its a deal."...or something like that. I don't speak Spanish.

Conditions are perfect.

I'm cool with that. Fractions are for sissies. Lets do this.

January 1961 - First day!Porto Ryeza - Pop. 125
Alright, alright. Simple one first. Just rescue 10 people. The yellow dots are citizens, who need to cheese it quick smart. I place my helicopter landing pad and click start.

CHEESE IT!

LZ IS HOT! Okay, so the Zombies move quite quickly. Still learning. I rescue 10 people...just. El Presidente presents me with a bronze medal, though he's not that impressed with the 113 new zombies out there...so he provides me with some snipers.

3rd Place! Yeah!

February 1961 - "SOLSTICE"Keleyao - Pop. 125
Snipers deploy! Wow...they shoot pretty slowly. Which is not great for high pressure zombie extractions.

Pew................Pew....................Pew

I rescue 11 people. Not enough to complete the mission. No medal. No new troops.

March 1961 - "BICHO PREGUICA"
Excellent, this is exactly what I need. Slower Zeds, for my slow snipers. Easy town. Where to next?

Hurrah!

Deneande - Pop. 125

The likely lads.

LET'S GO! Santiago and Juan, my pilots, are pumped. Even if their faces don't show it.

Zed wins...again.

Hmm....better, but still not that great. Again, no medal. I'm beginning to think my snipers are not really up for this, not as much as Santiago and Juan anyway.