Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Sometimes Better is Best

Is Tuesday the new nap day around here?

The last two weeks Dan and I have arrived home, dropped our bags on the counter and followed each other to the place I think we both like the best in our home - the bed! No fuss, just sleep - and we find ourselves woken by the bustle of traffic leaving the neighborhood in each other's arms and wishing we could just sleep through to the morning.

I remember a point in my life where that was an option - a time after college when I no longer had homework due, a time before I brought my work home with me, a time before blogging (no offense!) and a less stressed version of me. That Jessi was motivated by success and development, but she also knew that having the perfect balance of work and life was where she could find and create happiness. The Jessi today is over the moon in her personal life, but feels like the world rests on her shoulders all other hours of the day.

Let me share a little bit about me - I take three steps backwards by being the worst critic of my own handiwork. I stress and plot over work that needs to be done to make sure that I've thought of everything rather than jumping in and being okay with enlisting others who have knowledge to share. I'll over-work myself while striving for perfection when often the end product is viewed as only a fraction of the importance I placed on it. Was working late worth missing my run? Was it worth staying up late, or responding to an email over the weekend? Probably not - but every time I do hit a home run I make people happy, I prove my value and I get an ego boost that just can't be expressed in words.

When my expectations exceed reality of what I can do while remaining happy, that's a sign for me to take a deep breath and do the best I can with the resources that are in front of me. Time is a resource, energy is a resource and even lately patience has become a resource. Time is non-renewable and patience wears thin over time.

My point is that sometimes we strive to be the best; we try to have the greatest photos, the best workouts, the prettiest clothes, the most exciting blog content, the fastest response, the best weekend, the biggest story and the happiest relationships.

Let's all stop trying to be the best and instead - be better.

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Trying to be the best can create insecurity within ourselves that immediately makes us vulnerable and sets us up for failure. With my March Goal of finding the strength to say "no" when it's necessary has allowed me to see a different side of myself that understands that I can't do it all and won't be able to sustain a healthy emotional state by signing up for it all.

Dan and I had a heart to heart this weekend about how we can help one another around the house to alleviate stress from our time together. We've already resolved to partner up on laundry, rely on the food we made over the weekend for dinner and he's even offered to help with blog photography & staging to make it a shared process (especially since I talk about him so often on here)!

Whatever you do, do it better. Stop worrying about being perfect and especially don't place your worth in the same bucket as others' opinions of you.