How to grow an avocado plant.

To grow an avocado plant you must first eat and avocado, and save the pit. Clean all the green gunk off by giving it a lovely French kiss.Then you need to stick four little supporting sticks into it. Toothpicks are best but you could also use straightened paperclips. (I only had four little bits of wire to hand). Stand the pit upright, with it's tapered end at the top, and stick the sticks in around it's fat tummy. Don't stick them in too far, just a few millimetres but make sure they are firmly in.Then use the four little sticks to suspend the pit at the top of a glass.Fill the glass to the top with water so it's bum is dangling in water. You then have to keep it topped up like this for a long time, maybe months. That pit's got to have a soggy bum for just yonks, until you've almost lost patience. It might start to look manky even, you might think it's never going to work and consider throwing it away . . .
. . . Then one morning you'll come down and notice it's started to split and, before you know it, it'll start thrusting out tentative roots.And then a single slender shoot with little tiny leaves will reach up - and it will gradually get bigger and bigger until you're almost overcome with satisfaction and smugness.At this point you have grown your own Avocado plant! When it looks all grown up - with five or six leaves that are spread out - you can plant it in soil in a pot. Leave the pit on the surface of the soil and look after it how you would any houseplant - water it weekly or so and remove any leaves that die. If it looks droopy give it a little water and if that doesn't work try giving it a bigger pot.
Gosh, how easy.
Good luck.

This is so wonderful. I actually went and looked for details on growing avocado plants after your last post, but this is by far the best set of instructions. I may have to print them out in colour and make myself a little guidebook.