Hillary Clinton is playing a dirty trick on theater lovers desperate to see the hottest show on Broadway in, well, ever. She's perpetrating a money-grubbing bait-and-switcheroo on the masses — and it's brilliant.

As a Democrat, even a lapsed one, I received an email from the Hillary for America campaign inviting me to enter the online "Meet Hillary" sweepstakes, featuring an irresistible prize for each of two winners: a pair of tickets to the perpetually sold-out Tony-winning Broadway show "Hamilton."

Contest victors are also promised round-trip plane tickets to New York City and two nights in a hotel. There is a catch.

The lucky ones scoring supposedly free ducats to the hip-hop-heavy musical are to be the play dates of the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee. This could be awkward. (Imagine Hillary's small talk — "Doesn't dastardly Aaron Burr remind you of Donald Trump?")

The prospect of winning pits two of my deepest desires against each other. One is seeing "Hamilton" without going broke. The other is my fervent wish to see the Wicked Witch of the West sent packing by voters on Election Day.

But who wouldn't want to catch the show about Alexander Hamilton, the first US Treasury secretary and founder of The Post? I read the contest's disclaimer: "No purchase, payment, contribution, or signing up to receive texts is necessary to win, and will not improve chances of winning." So I entered my email address and ZIP code, said a prayer, and hit my computer's "Send'' key.

Hillary Clinton after attending the Broadway play "Hamilton" at the Richard Rodgers Theatre in New York on Saturday.Photo: Christopher Sadowski

Immediately, I received a message from Hillary for America. "Want to increase your odds?" it read. (Hey — I thought I couldn't increase my odds!)

"Every donation you make automatically enters you again," it continued. "Chip in whatever you can."

Seriously?

The message came again in two emails repeating the vow that I could not increase my odds of winning by spending money. Then I was informed that I could increase my odds of winning by spending money.

Huh? Check boxes containing suggested campaign donations were helpfully provided — $3, $50, $250 or any amount I could afford to part with to help Hillary, and other Democrats, get elected.

I wonder how much cash an average wage slave might be willing to "chip in" for a shot at watching Hillary Clinton watch "Hamilton." I left a message requesting comment at her campaign headquarters, but received no response.

It may be a stretch to equate Hillary's dishonesty about a theatrical event with other examples of her deceiving Americans, but I see a pattern.

The final report of the congressional committee investigating the Sept. 11, 2012, terrorist attacks on US diplomats in Benghazi, Libya, blamed members of the Obama administration for security lapses. But the report essentially gave the then-secretary of state a pass. This after she misled the public, saying the butchery that claimed four lives was not the work of terrorists, but of ordinary Muslims driven to uncontrollable rage by a stupid internet video that poked fun at the Prophet Mohammed. She knew better.

Liar!

She lapped up fees, sometimes topping $300,000 a pop, for speeches she delivered before Wall Street leaders and others who might seek favors. And Hill was caught using an unsecured, home-brew email server as secretary of state, risking the leak of national secrets.

But as with most everything else in her charmed life, I expect Hillary to skate away unscathed from an FBI investigation into her digital lapses — despite hubby Bill's curious private meeting with US Attorney General Loretta Lynch.

Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton and the "Hamilton" cast pose backstage at the Richard Rogers Theatre on Saturday in New York City.Photo: FilmMagic

Contest rules state only that winners would see "Hamilton" in July. I figure it must be during the July 12 special matinee fundraiser to be thrown by the Hillary Victory Fund — three days after three show stars, including writer/creator Lin-Manuel Miranda, plan to leave the cast. That day, donors can score crummy places in the Richard Rodgers Theatre for $2,700 apiece — all the way up to $100,000 for "event chair" packages that include two premium seats, access to a wrap party attended by Hillary and "special guests," and an invitation to the Democratic National Convention.

Too rich for my blood.

I'll raise a glass to freedom while rapping along to the "Hamilton" soundtrack CD at home.

That's something a poor zhlub like me can afford.

Finally, a good guy with a gun

A man with a concealed-carry license stopped a fiend who allegedly tried to turn a South Carolina nightclub into a bloodbath like the one in Orlando, Fla.

Yet the national media has all but ignored this case. Federal officials haven't piped up.

Early in the morning of June 26, Jody Ray Thompson, 32, got into an argument with someone outside the Playoffz nightclub and began shooting into a crowd, injuring three people, authorities say.

But he narrowly missed one man, who whipped out his legal weapon and shot the bad guy in his leg, halting the attack. No one died.

Thompson was charged with crimes, including four counts of attempted murder. But the unidentified armed knight in shining armor acted in self-defense and was not charged with anything, say authorities.

I've long believed there are too many guns in America, legal or not.

But this case demonstrates that in the right hands, a firearm can save lives. The South Carolina savior deserves a medal.

LaGuardia HS isn't very 'gender'ous

I could see this one coming. An 18-year-old student who was born a boy but self-identifies as "non-binary'' — neither male nor female — was crowned prom queen at one of New York City's top public high schools.

This royally ticked off some self-identified "girls'' attending Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts, who railed on Facebook, in a since-deleted post, over losing the honor to someone they consider a guy.

I guess schoolkids and staffers of all, no or indeterminate genders will be forced to share bathrooms. Wait — that's already happening.

Chris CuomoPhoto: Larry Busacca/WireImage.com

Vroom service for Cuo bro

Chris Cuomo, 45, brother of Gov. Andrew Cuomo, rammed his vintage car into the back of a parked SUV over Memorial Day weekend while engaging in a drag race during his wife's boozy Long Island party, witnesses told The Post's Page Six.

He skedaddled from the Hamptons fete in his 1969 Firebird convertible, which had a cracked radiator, said onlookers — but was not charged. I guess hiring a driver wouldn't be any fun.