Sean Payton’s Play Calling Sheet Is Not What You Think It Is

I can’t be the only one curious about that giant play calling menu poster board Sean Payton had super glued to his hand on Sunday. Every camera shot it was covering half his face and body. Like everyone, I was under the impression it was just a playbook cheat sheet for calling plays, but after some brief investigative work, I made a shocking discovery. Using science and technology I was able to zoom in microscopically through my TV. What I found was disturbing.

Surprisingly, the card only consisted of only 8 simple plays. The rest… well, it’s bizarre. Below are my findings.

Where Payton acquired such an incredible i-pad, app-wielding, fortune telling device, I have no idea. If I had to guess I’d say Hogwarts or space, but sadly, for a team and a city that needed this victory more than anything, they’re all about to face a harsh reality: