18 August 2008

Ridin’ in my 5.0

Current mood: accomplished

Even the best fall down sometimesEven the stars refuse to shineOut of the back you fall in timeI somehow findYou and I collide ~ "Collide" by Howie Day

Saturday "Pretty One' and I went car shopping to replace the now-defunct PT Cruiser. We started our adventure at "Superiority Complex Honda"! As we parked the 'Silver Bullet' (aka the Ford Focus rental car) at the Honda dealership, 'Smarmy Salesguy (SS)' approached us. He was your stereotypical car salesman – which we didn't quite understand – because if you know the stereotype, wouldn't you try to NOT BE THAT GUY?

First off – he made fun of the Focus, which would have made me laugh if he wasn't so smug about it. Then he noted it was a rental and asked what I normally drove. I explained that I flipped the cruiser and needed a replacement car.

Sensing desperation, 'SS Rob' introduced himself and did NOT take off his sunglasses while doing so. This annoyed me, as a salesperson needs to look me in the eyes while trying to sell me a 20k car. He asked our names and what I did for a living, which we provided and off we went to look at the cars. I told him I was looking for a 4 door Honda Civic, a 2008 or 2007, NOT Silver or White. I also specified I wanted a standard transmission; not an automatic.

Of course, he then brought us to a 2 door Honda Civic that was silver and an automatic! I am not kidding! He explained that the Civics were flying off the lot and that he would show us what he had, Let me tell you, based on the 6 (yes 6) salespeople standing around doing nothing – I sincerely doubt that they were FLYING off the lot. Still, I gave a cursory glance at the car and then repeated, "I do not want an automatic or a 2 door or the color Silver." He reiterated that their selection was limited. He showed me a white 4 door, then another silver one, and by this point I was annoyed with the fact that he was obviously being obtuse or was color-blind. Both are unacceptable traits in a car salesman.

The price on all of the cars ranged between 19 and 23k. And the 19k was pretty basic. He told me he'd grab the keys and we could drive one. I looked at him – trying to bore through his sunglasses with my stare and said, "No, I am not driving a car I don't want." He said, "Well you really need to drive one". I responded with, "When I find one I like, I'll test drive it." I spoke a little slower this time, sensing that he truly was an eejit.

'SS Rob' offered to show us an amazing SI that was in the showroom. I followed him, thinking maybe he finally understood what I wanted. As we were walking in, he asked what other type of car I was looking at. When I said, "A Mazda3" he chuckled and said, "They still make those things?" nudging another sales guy who also wasn't working. I refrained from responding with "Yes, and if you read Car and Driver, you would see that it was ranked higher than your Honda Civic, Mr. Douchebag".

When he brought me to a WHITE car that was almost 25k, I decided that I was seriously done with this guy. I asked him for his card and thanked him for his time. He asked for my name (AGAIN) and contact info and asked me once again, what I did for a living. I told him, then smiled and walked away.

'Pretty One' and I then went to O'Daniel Honda. We parked and I spotted a salesman in the parking lot. I verified he was a salesman, then handed him 'SS Rob's' card. He looked at it and I said, "This guy works at Superior Honda. This guy was an ass. If you are anything like this guy, I don't want to work with you." He looked at the card, then at me and said, "Um, we are not affiliated with them and I don't know this guy – but I would like to help you find a car."

There began the start of a beautiful friendship. 'Pretty One' and I followed "Joe Cool' as he showed me ONLY cars I wanted to see. They did not have a Dark Blue 2008 Civic with a manual transmission. He said that he would do a 5 state search for me, though. Already, we were eons ahead of 'SS Rob' on the evolutionary scale. He brought us inside, offered us water, which we refused, and left to find me a car. 5 minutes later he came sprinting back to his desk. He looked excited! "What is your 2nd color, if you cannot have blue?" I responded the Dark Smoke Grey. His adorable face got a huge grin on it and he said, "Let's go. I have a surprise for you that I didn't even know about."

Then, he brought us to a car that was not parked anywhere near the other Civics. It was a gorgeous Smoke Grey. It had 4 doors. And before I could say anything, "Joe Cool' said, "And look, it's a standard transmission." He was like a kid in a candy store. I seriously think he was more excited than me. He opened the driver side door and I sat down. It was mine. I already knew. He pointed out the sticker price and I almost hugged him. It was way lower than I expected. He handed me the keys, climbed into the back seat, and we were off. 'Pretty One' was in the passenger seat and couldn't stop complimenting the car.

We drove around – and 'Joe Cool' was right. Driving a standard is like riding a bike. I had NO PROBLEMS shifting – the clutch was like butter. It was amazing! Upon our return to the dealership, we finally accepted his offers of water – as he has a preoccupation with dehydration apparently. *hee hee* I called my loan officer at the credit union, got approval, and put a deposit down on the car. I pick it up tomorrow. Cannot wait! As we were leaving, I hugged him, congratulated him on his new baby on the way, and told him I would see him Tuesday!

This morning, my phone rang around 9:30am. It was 'SS Rob'. He said in his smarmy voice, "This is Rob, from Superior Honda. I am calling to discuss your new car purchase." I smiled and said, "I bought one, on Saturday, from O'Daniel Honda. They had precisely what I wanted." His voice took on a steely tone and he said, "You should have called me, we generally beat their deals." I laughed and said, "This was a great deal, so I bought it. I appreciate you calling though. Have a good one." Before I could hang up, he actually had the audacity to tell me to refer people to him and if they buy a car he'd pay me $50 bucks for a used sale and $100 for a new one. Whatevs! I wouldn't refer anyone to 'SS Rob'.

However, if you are in need of a new car – let me know, and I will send you to Joe. And he isn't even paying me!