It was love at first sight. A truer love the world had never known… but there was a problem. The love was too strong. It was so intense that it became unquenchable… Perhaps there is such a thing as “too much love?” How could something so good be bad?

There is a way the gift of love can be so strong that it destroys lives and relationships. This particular love is so powerful and addictive that it can destroy nations… in fact it has. In truth, we all start on the same path and the same journey of love and it is love at first sight for all of us.

We begin life loving as a child. We learn to love our parents or guardians because they love us and care for us. We learn to love the activities of life, having fun, laughing, playing, satisfying our senses. Some of us even love our siblings though we struggle with sharing, but the first thing we love isn’t all around us, it isn’t the world, it is us. We love ourselves… and it’s a life long love affair.

We laugh, with good reason, at our children or children in general when they discover the reflection in the mirror is themselves. They discover the image to associate their inborn desires with. Some of us immediately begin to teach the tools of wisdom to try to break the natural bond that humans have with themselves.

We have to learn to be contrary to our nature and if it seems like a daunting task with children, consider your own life and disciplines that keep us from absolute selfishness. Our instinct to survive is only the beginning of the love affair that all of us have with ourselves.

Like the snot-nosed-versions of ourselves, we learn to obey the rules. We’ve gotten pretty good at following the rules, acting like society expects us to. We get to the point that even the best of the Hollywood crowd would be proud of our acting ability. But like that same crowd, the outside actions can only take us as far as the real person is inside of us. Sooner or later the real fruit is revealed and the love of self has rotted the fruit. It’s cute in children… It’s disgusting in adults.

The foundational problem in the world is this subject of the love of ourselves, thinking more of ourselves than we should. It is our fallen nature and it is our weak link. It doesn’t matter which issue or characteristic someone has. It all starts with the fallen trait of self-love, not the best type of love.

The best type of love is that trait that cares for others even when it costs us something. It is that discipline that puts others lives and souls ahead of our own. A funny thing about the greatest lovers of themselves; they are consistently the most unhappy people we find in our lives. And to double-check the equation backwards, check the people who are the happiest… Sure enough… God has opened their hearts and minds to be the great among us and also the happiest.

Whoa! Awesome thought and verse, Chuck! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Well, actually… I guess I can believe it… but that truly sums up what true love is! That is love and that is strength that surpasses human comprehension. Thanks, Chuck. I hope you’re feeling better, my friend.

Thanks, TC. I read Bill’s today. It was an awesome post and is worthy of reading. http://billgrandi.ovcf.org/wordpress/?p=9116
I thought the same thing today when I read his. We do need to have our focus readjusted… Away from ourselves! Great call, TC.

This is excellent, Floyd! Very well said. Ahhh…the love…of self. It is a very real battle for those of us who follow The One. We know it’s wrong to “think more highly of ourselves than we ought”, yet it is a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute battle. What is this preoccupation that plagues the human heart? There is no one we’d rather talk about, than ourselves. When we look at a group photo, whose face do we look for first? We really are a sad lot, aren’t we? ‘They’ say that even the shy introvert harbours inverted pride! Is there no hope? 😀 It seems to be a full-time job for most of us, this pushing of self into the background, letting Christ shine through. And for those who don’t know Christ…well, as you say, they are the saddest people of all.

How I cherish your comments, Jillie! You get right to the heart of the matter with such open honesty, it’s refreshing. We are a sad lot indeed… If not for His grace and humility the world would be unbearable for this fallen flesh. As long as we know the truth and share and strive against our weekend flesh, I think our Father in honored. Well said, my friend. Well said…

Good call, Loren. It is action! True love is action and assent of our will. How the world has screwed up the meaning of the love that God defines in His word. I suppose that is the ultimate test; the laying down of a life… like our Savior did for us… That pretty much sums up His love and our calling… It’s not about us… Thanks, Loren. Hope you’re feeling better!

Oh no!!! Now I have that song stuck in my head too! I didn’t even thing about that! “I can’t wait to look in the mirror, cause I get better lookin’ each day.” Those lyrics from that song have never applied to me, even when I was young! Thanks for stopping in, my old friend. I always appreciate you! I love you too, and am reminded it might be time for us to get together! Thanks, Lanny.

The love of self–I was afraid this was where you were headed. “It’s disgusting in adults.” And especially when I see it in myself. It is my weak link, you are so right.

“True love starts in the heart…not in the mirror…”

No pun intended, but I “love” this post. 🙂 Thanks, Floyd, for reminding us in this love week that the happiest are those who love others more than self. I’m far from being there, but it’s the road I hope I’m on.

Thank you, Lisa. You’re not alone in this, trust me. I think this is where most of our nails bend. (a carpenter analogy!) As long as we are seeking our Father there is hope and improvement in us. We’re a lot better than we used to be… by His grace…

I am with Lisa, I love this convicting post packed full of truth. We ladies studied self love against Psalm 139:13-16 last night. Self love never brings contentment…seeing ourselves through God’s Word gives us a right perspective on how to love the fearfully and wonderfully made creation we are. Good writing brother.

At an early age, my grandmother would tell me to “Get rid of self.” I did not understand how I could get rid of myself. As time went by I came to realize she was speaking of our “Old self.” That “Old Man Person” with all its selfishness, pride and along with it anger when we didn’t get our own way. As Christians, we do not always readily put on the NEW MAN which we are in Christ. At times it is a growth process. The world without Jesus is totally selfish and demanding and without true love. It is these attitudes that are the causes of strife, revolts, wars and oppression. We are to be examples in word and in deed of what God’s true love really is – – giving even regardless of the cost.

Yes, Hazel. Spot on. “Giving even regardless of the cost.” That is the mark of true love and it only comes from the love that God designed for us to have and be in the first place. That old man of me gets in the way. He lurks in the flesh of all of us, but God has the power over ourselves as long as we seek Him first. A good reminder today, thanks, Hazel.

I couldn’t agree more, Dan. “Love starts in the heart, not in religion.” I could do a book of quotes from all the wisdom shared on this post! True love does things that an act of religion can’t even imitate. Good call, thanks, Dan.

Floyd what a great post, filled with so much wisdom. I love the conclusion, that “True love starts in the heart… not in the mirror…” and what Chuck said, quoting scripture “greater love has any man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Given me lots to think on today 🙂

Thanks, Ngina. Happiness comes from God when we are about His will, which is loving others before ourselves… No easy task! There is so much wisdom that visits here, it gives all of us much to think about. Thanks again for sharing yours here.

“Snot-nosed” – made me laugh! I call the subject of your piece, misplaced worship. Esteeming ourselves more highly than we ought, we love the creation more than the Creator. Seems our culture has taught us more about “poor me, what’s in it for me, what about me. etc etc.”

None of us wants to heed what Jesus basically indicated by the Eucarist. “Go do as I did” That thought is… “Lay down your life and it will be given back to you”

You hit the nail on the head, Nancy! Our society has catered to the ways of the world and our next generation and all of them for that matter, are showing the effects. We place so much in our flesh that our souls are over looked and under nourished. I need to be more mindful of it as well. Well said… Thanks, Nancy.

You got me again, Bro. Yes, true love starts in the heart. I’m grateful for hearts to me and when my heart is reaching out and about. But one of the latest aspects that has been laid and laid on me … and my husband didn’t even recognize this in me, which, I guess, is a good thing … has been years and years and YEARS of jealousy. As a poor kid, seeing good families and kids with “things”, I was jealous. As a teen in the same sort of situation… YEP! Jealous. When formerly married and seeing husbands and wives truly loving each other … JEALOUS! And many other phases. NOT jealous re: marriage now, or clothes, or food, or family. Or ministry. In all that, I’m blessed and hoping to bless. But… through blogs, in one stretch, now I’m struggling with jealousy. Won’t describe it, but know it’s hitting me. All I can do is say, over and over, You call me, Lord, and I will obey and serve You as best I can. HE’S a kind Father Who will show me the right way and help me follow through.

Joanne, your heart and honesty committed to writing is the very things God uses to proclaim His grace and love! Being real is the mark of a mature and seeking Christian. Your non-judgmental and straight forward style is you… not sure I’d ever want to see any other you? In the end, we write and share for the glory of our Father. I gave some time ago. If I’m the back that God uses to hoist others, so be it. May we all do our part with honor and joy in our hearts. I know you serve with passion and love… and that always seems to “hit” me… What are brothers and sisters for? Thanks for your honesty, Joanne. I suspect it does more than the both of us know.