The diary of a man who will take excess weight on in a battle to not take on excess weight.

Orgasm bridge

Firstly sorry for the lack of blog posts recently. I didn’t realise I had left it that long. I guess time flies when you are stuck inside a small room forced to mindlessly call people and ask for money while there are people frolicking outside your window in the sun enjoying a picnic.

But don’t worry, people! Since the last post, I haven’t been sat around doing nothing while the marathon draws ever nearer (That’s what I am doing right now). Recently I’ve been going for some cycles (I’ve covered over 40km in the last few days) which I have genuinely enjoyed. I much prefer cycling because if you get tired and stop, you fall into the road and get crushed by a lorry which I find highly motivating.

On my cycle today, I did roughly the same route I did when I ran my half marathon a couple weeks ago. The only difference is that due to the Cambridge one-way system I need to go over ‘Orgasm Bridge’ (See pic), so called because it is relatively steep (especially for Cambridge) and, after getting to the top on a bike, gliding down it is like an orgasm (An alternative theory for those who are interested is that it used to be cobbled and this had an ‘interesting’ effect on female cyclists).

RUNNING TIP NUMBER 10: HAVING A MOTIVATIONAL NICKNAME INVOLVING THE WORD ‘OBESE’ IS NOT VERY MOTIVATING, EVEN IF IT IS (SLIGHTLY) MORE TRUTHFUL.

The only real issue I have with cycling is with my arse afterwards. Especially when you get out into the fields, the roads tend to get a bit bumpy and I come back feeling like I’ve been fisted by the Klitschko brothers. It takes such a pounding I’m surprised it’s not turned orange.

Speaking of orange (Look at that for a seemless segue), today I returned to the classic orange top for my exercise and as I was cycling I realised I don’t have a nickname for the top. Actually that’s not quite true as in my head when I wear it I’m thinking ‘Overly Obese Orange’ but I find that slightly demotivational and I want a replacement. Suggestions welcome – either comment below or send a tweet to @JamesCrewdson1 (and yes, I have become everything and everyone I hate in social media).

However the main link to go to is my JustGiving Pagehttp://www.justgiving.com/fatty-runs-a-marathon. So far I’ve raised £190 which is great but I’m still a bit off my target and if people like you get behind projects like these, it makes a real difference. And if you don’t donate, I’ll send the Klitschko’s after you (they owe me a favour after last night).