International “Cute, Huggable Creatures Who Could Easily Kill You” Day

It’s International Polar Bear Day. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t care, because, Polar Bears!

To celebrate, let’s review some pictures of polar bears, and some fun facts.

Fun fact 1: If you eat a polar bear’s liver, your skin will fall off. This is because of the amount of vitamin A stored in their livers. This fun fact comes to us courtesy of a couple of arctic explorers who were starving to death, and killed a polar bear, and thought they were saved until they ate the liver and irony kicked in.

Fun fact 2: Polar Bears can smell things up to a mile away, and under 3 feet of snow.

Hm, smells liiiiike.... smells like arctic explorers wishing they'd brought more energy bars... or at least decided not to eat the liver first.

Not Very Fun Fact 3: Global population of polar bears is down to about 20,000.

Fun Fact 4: Doing a Google Image search for “Polar Bear Cubs” would have Stalin cooing “Oh, wook at de iddle cutie!” after a few minutes.

So cuuuuuuuute.

Also pretty damn cute, but in a couple years, this would be a veeerrry different picture.

Fun fact 5: Polar bear fur is not white, it’s clear, and hollow. They fur is so effective that they are more likely to overheat than to freeze.

Come on in! The water's fine!

Fun Fact 6: I really think polar bears would like me if they got to know me.

I will be your friend.

Fun fact 7: Adult males polar bears get to be about 10 feet tall, and weigh 1400 pounds. They can kill most animals with a single blow.

Fun Fact 8: Cuuuuuute.

Share this:

Like this:

Related

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

Apparently a major problems at national parks is people posing with, or even putting their children on the backs of, wild animals to take pictures. The people who jump in cages or try to pet the mountain lion, yeah, that’s just species improvement. But your kids??

Have you ever seen pictures of that cat who lives with the bear in the Berlin zoo? One day this cat just showed up in the bear cage. They share food and everything. I love it, because in the photos the cat just looks totally at ease, like “Hey, he’s a big fearsome predator. I’m a big, fearsome predator. What’s the big surprise?”

I think the Polar Bears would probably like you if they met you and THANK YOU for the tidbit about eating the liver that will come in super handy on my next North Pole trek as I will know immediately if any of my fellow explorers have fed me Polar Bear liver as a joke…I guess the joke would be on them with my skin falling off an all:)

Yeah, but even images of adult polar bears playing with tires and such are pretty adorable. Pictures of them bludgeoning a seal or fighting other bears or collapsing from exhaustion after swimming too far because there’s no ice… not so much.