Thursday, May 27, 2010

It was the third of September.A day I’ll always remember, yes I will.‘Cause that was the day that my daddy died.-Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong, “Poppa Was a Rolling Stone”~My father could hardly have been described as a rolling stone, but he did happen to pass away on September 3rd. He was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer the year before, but kept it a secret until he couldn’t anymore, in the spring of 1991. If it had been up to him, he would have died alone, with no fanfare. He was signed up for Meals on Wheels and Visiting Nurse services, and those kind people were the ones who found him helpless on the floor and called to let me know, over his strong objections. While his oncologist predicted his death by early summer (and with good reason -- by the time I learned the truth, he weighed about 70 pounds and could be transferred from couch to bed by two slightly built women using a sheet as a sling), he hung on for another two and a half months. He endured the indignity of having strangers in his house, his living room turned into a sickroom, and most of his personal autonomy taken away. None of this could be helped -- he was too fragile to move to my home or even to a Hospice facility, and the heavy pain medications made it impossible for him to manage his finances or make decisions for himself. He and I didn’t get along spectacularly well by that point, so it was awkward on both sides for me to be taking over the checkbook. But there was nobody else. Mom had died the year before, and I was the only child. It was an extremely stressful time. Religion didn’t help things at all.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Currently, I'm procrastinating about switching over from satellite TV+DSL+local & LD service from the phone company to Fiberoptic TV+fiberoptic internet+fiberoptic VOIP. There are a lot of reasons for this, mainly the work involved in doing price comparisons, but also just the basic hassle of changing anything having to do with technology. My dear Luddite husband doesn't like change and will take awhile to adapt, even if the change is good and will save us money.

Friday, May 14, 2010

A short post, but one I’ve wanted to write for awhile.Anybody ancient enough to remember the old show from the 1970s, Barney Miller? It starred Hal Linden as a police captain in Manhattan. Steve Landesberg, Max Gail and Ron Glass were among the ensemble cast, and beyond the first season, the stage set was confined to the precinct room along with its barred holding cell. Along with The Odd Couple, another classic series that ran (also on ABC) during roughly the same time period, Barney Miller’s draw was its dry comedic approach to New York and its denizens. The writing was almost impossibly crisp -- making Seinfeld’s plots and dialogue look downright clunky by comparison -- with an air of authority to it. I remember one episode, and would really love to hear from someone who can corroborate, because I know it’s not my imagination. I’ve searched archives numerous times but come up with nothing. So far.

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

A Brief Note

I include a neurodiversity category here because throughout my first 4 grades of school I was frequently referred to the school psychologist and, for lack of a better way to put it, treated like a freak. I had a lot of trouble paying attention and my social skills were sorely lacking. The situation got better but didn't completely clear up during adulthood. I frequently felt that "something was wrong" with me. My parents were alcoholics, and the typical secrecy about family life was also a factor.
Once I got comfortable on the Internet, I began researching on my own, first ruling out autism/ Asperger's (though that took a few years), then Fragile X (which I have never been tested for -- women show far fewer signs and I do have several of the physical markers), and finally concluded that most of my troubles had to do with attention deficit/ hyperactivity disorder. That's where I am right now. But the most important thing I've discovered is that genuine freaks are extremely rare and possibly non-existent. We all have "something wrong" with us, and the best thing we can do is adapt -- to ourselves as well as to others. That is why I include these blogs in my list.