Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Isn't a baby girl your child too?

Yesterday afternoon, an ex-colleague visited my office. She was here to pick her final settlement cheque and experience certificate. She dropped by my desk to say hello and congratulated on my baby. She had had a baby girl a few months back so I inquired about her. She was doing well. Even showed me her photo. Cute little girl. Asked her about how things were otherwise? She informed me that she almost got divorced. I was a little shocked. Stepping into some personal space, I asked her what happened. The reasons:

1. She gave birth to a baby girl2. She called her mom over for the delivery

Who was the architect behind all this? Mother-in-lawHusband was helpless. Mentally poisoned & emotionally blackmailed by his mother.Things are OK now. They are back together after 6 months of separation.

I was so freakin shocked. What is wrong with a girl child? Why are people still bloody fixated with this boy child thing? Isn't a girl also your child? Is that old women fuckin nuts?

And what's wrong if she called her mom over for the delivery? Wouldn't she want her mother around during her difficult time? Completely beats me.

A couple almost got divorced because she gave birth to a baby girl. It just did not register in my head. He is a young, educated guy working with a MNC. How could that jerk let this happen? He even got her visa canceled and sent her back home.

I've heard such cases but was under the impression it predominantly happens in rural India. Illiteracy, society, finances, unawareness, call-whatever-fuck-you-wanna-call-it, could be reasons. But how can you explain this?

We may have hopped into the 21st century but our minds are still rotting. Thousands of women have made this country proud and still people separate because it is a baby girl? Fucking hypocrites.

I am appalled. I feel disgusted. What does it take to change such lousy filthy minds? How does their damn consciences allow them to sleep at night? Is this what we call progressive India? I am sure this is NOT a one-of case. Thousands must be suffering the same fate as my friend. When does it end?

Masood, It is indeed extremely sad to hear such things happenning in even educated, well-to-do families..It is so sad that instead of being happy with the child that you are blessed with, people hanker after a baby boy!

As for your poor friend, who almost got divorced - my heart goes out to her.. I cannot believe that her mother-in-law could be so mean and so selfish.. I guess this sort of things will continue as far as 'boys' continue ot be of supreme importance 'mothers of boys' also assume that they are superior - just because they gave birth to a boy!! It breaks my heart to think of your friend..

Woman is the worst enemy of womankind if I may say so.. (well almost)What you mention is sad but knowing that there are couples praying to have girl child too, is a little ray of hope that things will change eventually..

Rashmi - Yes, very sad. I've heard that too. You know when my baby was born and we were happy and celebrating crazily (by crying ofcourse), the nurses asked my wife if we were so happy just coz it was a boy! My wife did not know what to answer. She just said no. They are happy for the baby.

Smitha - That's what shocked me most that this happens in educated, modern and well-off families settled out of India! I think it is our over-dependence on boys that has created such a mindset. Girls are still thought off as a burden. I had my first baby 2 months back and I really wanted a girl but was open to all options. We purposely did not determine the sex of the baby because we wanted it to be a surprise till the end and we were ready for both.

Tara - Yeah. Isn't that mother-in-law a women too? And she has a daughter as well. Yet she does this.

Hi Masood! My first time here, and this post instantly touched a chord. I write about similar issues on one of my two blogs, though about gender discrimination and inequality in general.

It is a gross misconception that the educated class doesn't indulge in femicide, esp. foeticide. It is only that they are aware of the law, and therefore work clandestinely.

For those who have limited or no access to sonography, it is near to impossible to get their female foetus aborted, and they resort to infanticide. Also prevalant amongst the same people is neglect of the girl child in the hope that she will die on her own.

I was saddened by our post, but in no wa was I shocked or surprised. The kind of tings I've read about discrimination of the girl child made my blood run cold. My skin crawled every time I wrote on my blog.

And remember, it is WE who have to change this situation at our individual levels. Just promise yourself you'll always stand up against injustice of any kind, and will not allow discrimination of any kind to go on in front of you. We can't go and change the whole world, but we can do our bit.

Surbhi - Sorry for my delayed response. Was busy commenting on my other daddy post! ;)Yes, biggest reality check was when I found out that this happens a lot amongst the educated class. I will stand up against injustice. It bleeds to see such things. Thanks for dropping by.