The High Life: Glass eyedroppers, ideal pot paraphernalia

Baynard Woods

Baynard Woods

Baynard WoodsCity Paper

The war on drugs is an obvious, unmitigated disaster, even if nearly every lily-livered politician of either party in this state is too pusillanimous to say so. But let’s face it, the GOP is worse. Democrats like Martin O’Malley and $RB are too scared to go against the drug war—but I imagine Republicans wanking to the thought of people like me getting arrested for smoking weed.

So Hogan vetoed the bill that would decriminalize pot paraphernalia. A bill that passed last year already decriminalized pot, but the pipe you smoke it in was still a crime. By vetoing the bill that would place pot paraphernalia in the same category as pot—a ticketable offense, like a traffic violation—you gave the police the opportunity to arbitrarily enforce this law. Overlook the frat kid’s bong, but go after the black kid’s blunt.

I want to help Maryland pot smokers not give the cops a chance to send them to jail, so I am giving up my best old-head secret, something I learned in New Mexico and have kept under my hat for the last two decades: glass eyedroppers.

Eyedroppers are the ideal pot paraphernalia. They cost about two dollars for two and are nearly the exact same size as a cigarette. You pop the squeezer off of the top and pack the opening. The other end narrows so the weed won’t suck through into your mouth.

Burn the outside with a lighter just a bit before you pack it and the bud will hold a lot better. Don’t pack it too tight and you have a perfect glass one-hitter. There have been periods of years at a time where this was the only paraphernalia I used, and I smoked on a daily basis.

It looks a bit like a crack pipe, people say, but don’t let the looks fool you. Drop $10 and you get four or five packs of disposable glass one-hitters. You never have to ride dirty, in terms of paraphernalia. And, if you happen to be smoking when the cops approach, drop it by your foot and step on it. It is flint glass and will turn to powder under your foot. What paraphernalia?