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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

For real this time.....I promise!

Yeah. 11 months ago I posted saying I was back. I was back, and excited, and motivated, and ....stuff. And then, I vanished.

Shocked?

Probably not. I wouldn't blame you if you were one of those people sitting there thinking, "Ah! The Oreos won again".

For the record, they didn't. The Pepsi Max, energy drinks, and chips won. They ganged up on me, pinned me to the couch, and proceeded to jump down my throat. Over and over and over again.

See, I thought I had my head sorted out. I thought that I had conquered all the shit that had built up in there and had mastered some semblance of control over my life. It was July 2012 when I landed in hospital with a nasty infection in my leg (otherwise known as Cellulitis) (otherwise known as OMG KILL ME NOW THIS F***ING HURTS!!). After being released, I had to take it easy. And it was then that my motivation started to slip.

If I had to sit around and do nothing, dammit! I was gonna make it worth my while. It was delicious. But it UNdid all that work I had put in before. All that weight that I lost, all that health I gained, undone.

So in January this year I said I was back. But I was not ready. I was studying, working full time, parenting full time, volunteering for various things......too much going on that I was not willing to step down from, and therefore was not willing to dedicate any time to my health.

Fast forward to May and we got a call asking if we'd take in a wee foster child. Of course we will! I don't have ANY good reason to say no, let's do it! He was with us for a month. He was a challenge but he was sweet. Unfortunately, he was like yet another full time job and my health started to suffer. Toward the end of May, I lost the plot. Literally. Sobbing like a fool on my bed as my poor husband looked on in confusion, wondering what he could do to help.

In the end, the boy went elsewhere, I stepped down from a couple of volunteering gigs, and tried to put myself back together. And anything I couldn't reassemble? Well, there's food to cure the guilt from that, right?

WRONG!

So here we are, just a few weeks out from Christmas 2013 and I'm still heavy, still unfit, still unhealthy, and still miserable with myself. I'm not a good role model for my children. But I want to change all that. I want to get back on that track that I was on before. So I will. With your help, and help from some local friends.

Just tonight, when my brain was doing the whole "haha! sleep is for the weak!" act, I sent out a message to some local people asking if they'd join me in a 3 month, Biggest Loser Challenge. Let's see what happens.

How are all of you? Are you still trucking along, getting healthy? What tips do you have for someone like me that is just trying to get back on track?

5 comments:

Hey Meg! You can do it! My hubby and I are working towards better health and fitness too, and its hard. One workout and my stomach revolted but we'll do it again tomorrow. I'm glad you're blogging again.

No tips, you know your head has to be in the right place for weight loss to happen.I hope it is. Mine keeps popping in and out of the right frame of mind. Bugger it.I will never give up. I hope you don't either.ONWARD...

I agree with Chris H, after years of trial and error, I have come to the same conclusion myself.I think the biggest problem many people make when it comes it weight loss is setting very strict and big goals in unreasonably short amount of time. Naturally, our bodies and minds can't adapt to such a sudden change, so when we realize that, we decided that it's easier to postpone the challenge than to try with gradual improvement. We want to change, but we despise the process of changing.Diet plans and regimes never ever worked for me, I gain back all the weight right after I'm done with the "dieting" period, so I get trapped in a vicious circle.