Saturday, May 7, 2011

Followed the advice of a friend to sit down and have quiet time on my own. To ponder and reflect on all the happenings of the past week. Things were over my head and out of hand and I needed the support. Glad that I decided against the urge to go out with friends and to just sleep in until 1 o'clock. Caught up with a friend by phone and shared everything. Like always, she gave me good advice.

As I sat by the curb on a quiet spot to talk to God and thank Him for everything. Gazing into the skies, I also pondered and reflected on the indescribable things that happened this past week. God definitely allowed it but now I want to know whether He was happy with how I responded. The answer came. "You are my shooting star, but everlasting". God was proud of me and everything fell into place. I love who I am not because of me but because I belong to Him. A child of God. Because He is the biggest part of my life, I slowly begin to realize that everything whether good or bad happens for a reason and God allows it. We may not or never understand but that's the beauty of it. I can't seem to fathom shooting stars, and the feeling of excitement and exhilaration that comes after it.

So what causes a shooting star? It happens when tiny bits of dust and rocks called meteoroids falls into the earth's atmosphere and burns up. Too me, shooting stars depicts who we are in Christ. In our darkest moments we fall down, and then is when God appears and shines His light in us and through us. Dust and rocks are "happenings" beyond us we can't seem to understand. Yet when we allow God to interfere and use us, we burn and brighten up because of His work in us and His cleansing fire, turning into these beautiful streaks of light which people wait hours upon to see a glimpse of them. The difference however is that though real meteoroids or shooting stars are short-lived only happening only about 1 to 2 seconds, we're not. And if we get things done right, we'll have all of eternity to spend with our Father.

I want to be God's shooting star and continue to shine for Him wherever I go. That when people see me they will stand amaze at the Creator. Because being His shooting star, I go against science and don't just shine for the moment but into everlasting. And my response to God when He told me this? "God, You are my shooting star, only everlasting" I love the creator of shooting stars soo much!!!

On the night of 3rd May, I was really really tired. Took a nap and slept straight away. Awaken by my alarm to the time that showed 10.15. "Could I skip prayer? How did Xp and the rest do it" I thought to myself. To go for prayer every week night for a year.

Went to our prayer spot and no one was there. Someone came and I was truly encouraged, but left his bible and said he'll be back. He was gone for about 15 minutes. Leaving me there with questions and loneliness. "Would the rest be coming? Why are they late? I bet they're not as tired as me so they have no excuse. Do they even want to come for prayer anymore? Or should I stop the meetings so we can spend more time with the harvest?" My flesh came in and nonsense followed. Paced around praying to God. "God, if you want me to stop prayer group then please tell me." Seriously, I think it was me who wanted to stop it, directing the question to God to feel more substantiated. Heard the word "stop" which stopped me in my tracks. Listened closely again and heard the words "don't stop prayer group" 2 times. Wasn't very convinced with the direction prayer group was going, didn't feel the commitment from myself and others. Above all, I felt loneliness. (No kidding)

Eventually they came and it was already real late, almost 11. Tried to put on a smile and make prayer meeting happen. 2 new girls came, freshmen full of life. Ever so grateful to the one who brought them. One new girl even brought down her torchlight, finally we could see each other and flip our bibles more easily. Accidentally asked them to turn to Matthew 28 when it was suppose to be Matthew 10. Corrected myself and talked about the harvest being plentiful but harvesters few. Asked a girl who was going through persecution to sit in the centre of our circle so we could pray for her. What happened next no one would expect.

As we laid our hands on her and prayed, someone saw Jesus sitting beside her, telling her everything would be ok. After some time, the girl being prayed for started speaking in a different tongue and her voice was somewhat like thunder and lightning but also of a loving grandfather. It was authoritative yet loving at the same time. Truly hard to describe. The voice called us "My children" and told us many things like "I am here and the end times is near". A lot more that are more personal but nevertheless it touched most of us. I cried, the others cried and even a guy cried. That was how powerful and overwhelming the whole experience felt. The guy playing the guitar started to strum in a way he had never strum before and his fingers pressing the chords did not feel any pain. It was like the Holy Spirit took over. Recalling these still makes my heart beat faster. Some of us felt static in the hand that was touching her. The voice was so loud and powerful people from the canteen came out to see. The whole experience was truly indescribable.

When the encounter ended, all I could do was put my hands to my head and say "What just happened?" Even the guy next to me was so overwhelmed he leaned down with his guitar. I asked the group how they felt. Besides some being speechless or even with no reaction due to skepticism I think, most of them said they have never had an encounter like this before. It was scary yet we didn't want it to end. Though it was 1 plus, we talked and talked and shared our feelings. It was all good. Society Day was on the next day so some of them left, but some couldn't sleep. Discussed the whole experience with 2 of the core people. We all felt doubt creep in during the encounter but rebuked it immediately for we didn't wanna miss out on anything. One girl even said that during prayer in her heart she prayed that she could see, feel and hear God. God came before us, literally, so near. 3 of us didn't want to got to bed. The presence was still there, we didn't want the feeling to end.

Clear conscience came in the next day. Was it really God that came? Or was it another? If it was really Him, why the change of voice and some questionable content. But it didn't stop us from sharing the encounter with people. Despite the doubt, we just couldn't keep out mouths shut. I guess that happens when something unheard off has happened right before your eyes. I bet not a lot of people can say they have had such an encounter.

Whether God really came or not is still something we have to find out. But whatever happened I thank God for it, for He must have found us fit to allow it. To know that we could handle it whether good or bad and to trust that we would use this as a learning tool. I stand in awe with the way things are going and how God is leading. The 2 freshies were so excited about the encounter they asked whether this happened every night. Truthfully, no. It was our first. But they said they were definitely coming again to continue to pray with us and intercede for our college. So there is something good that come out of it. The girl was blessed, these freshies were excited, and the older ones were comforted. We were all speechless.

Most importantly. God answered my prayer. The hostel prayer group MUST go on. And to go on it shall.

I came with the intention of keeping things simpleDidn't plan to serve in CF or any societies whatsoeverThought that life before was way too hectic Wanted to "rest"and stay undercoverThings went exactly the oppositeWay more than whatever I expectedShows how God has better plans and a higher purposeI don't wanna be a Jonah.