Sunday, September 20, 2009

(photo taken by my daughter "Heart")

Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, sotake courage and do it."Ezra 10:4

It has been a little over a month now since "Sweet Pea" was born. Ona daily basis I wrestle with my emotions. Each day I pray for help toget through. My emotions feel as if the volume control is up to loud. Iknow this is only a season in my life and it will pass. Yet somedaysmy emotions don't want to listen. I have always thought of myself asa calm, patient, and organized person. It's funny how God gives you thingsor events in your life to throw a complete wrench in those ideas.Maybe a reminder to say "YOU are NOT in Control.. TRUST in ME" Those verythings I feel strong about are stuggles. (at least for the moment)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am yourGod. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with myrighteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10

"Sweet Pea" is the most adorable, beautiful, darling little girl but Oh sodemanding. More demanding than my last two children were as babies.Honestly I feel I am handling things well with her. Her needs are always met.She is snuggled and Loved. I often spend a lot of my day moving her about.She isn't content for long to be in one position. I try my hardest to fiteveryone's needs into a day. "Spirit" seems to be the one who misses outthe most. I am so aware of this that when I have quiet time I sit withhim on my lap and sneak in a snuggle time. It doesn't feel like enough.Nothing does..."Volume control please" Spirit has been sick the lastweek and Daddy has the flu, so you can imagine how high thatemotional volume control can go.

"Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help. Youturned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothedme with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. Omy God, I will give you thanks forever."Psalm 30:10-12

The other day "Superboy" created a drawing of the most wonderfulbug and saved it to color or paint later. I caught "Spirit" poised with apencil ready to draw on that paper. Normally I'd ask what he's doingbut this day I went to "Don't draw on that.. " in a stern tone. "Spirit"cried for 20 minutes because he only wanted to draw a tongue ontothe bug. The worst part about the whole thing is that "Superboy" wouldhave left him do that if only I had asked what he was doing first insteadof jumping to conclusions. My time is limited and my emotional volumecontrol is on high. A small moment but important.

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to standon the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend abow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your righthand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broadenthe path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."Psalm 18:32-36

Gradually I am working on toning things down. I have learned that myplans are not my own. My frustration level goes up when I forget that.I MUST remember to check with God on what he wants me to doeach day. Without prayer and study I end up in a pool of my emotionaltears. I am so glad during my preganancy God put it on my heartto take some activities away, otherwise things would spiral. Childrenare my priority and mending sick Daddy. I am taking my day as it comes,cleaning in small increments and having to let the rest go. God says thatis "ENOUGH today" . Then I need to except it as good and enough.

I have also learned to rely on others. I can't and shouldn't do it ALL .Life is emotion, family, and friends. NOT my schedule.

I don't wnat you to think I am wallowing in my emotions. They arebaby strong at the moment but controlable. I just have to pick up myarmor each morning and fight back . Allowing the Lord control. TrustingGod to turn the volume down.

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you havemade my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasantplaces; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, whocounsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORDalways before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not beshaken."Psalm 16:5-8

Rejoice in the Lord Always.

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About Me

Welcome. When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, I am a stay at home mom/work part-time mom and Have 5 children, 2 step children and 3 Grandchildren. I have worked in the childcare field for years and currently work for my church as a nursery supervisor. I post all things here that I enjoy God, Home education, being a mom, book reviews and about our home. My goal is to create a resource for other homeschool moms who are going through the same Joys,fun, challenges, and struggles. I hope you Enjoy your visit.

Education Statement

From everlasting to everlasting ,The Lords love is with those who fear him and his righteousness with their children's children....Then our sons in their youth will be like well - nurtured plants and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace....All the sons will be taught by the Lord and Great will be our childrens peace.....Psalms 103:17, 144:12 Isaiah 54:13