The art of the Tour de Fat costume — with Jordana and Dana

Friday, August 30, 2013

As you can imagine, Tour de Fat is a pretty big deal in Fort Collins. Bicycle parades and masqueraded philandering philanthropists have flooded New Belgium's hometown streets for the baker's dozen years that the Tour has been in operation. As such, we're expecting about 20,000 of our fair city's inhabitants to join us Saturday morning.

The brewery's coworkers are some of the Tour's most die-hard fans, and few are more into it than Jordana Barrack (right), coordinator of love and calendars, and Dana Villanueve (left), sustainability generalist.

If you're new to the craziness that is Tour de Fat, well, don't worry. Jordana and Dana have your back. They've been doing this for a while, and for them — who are we kidding, for everyone — the Tour is as awesome as the Fourth of July, or a birthday, or a day when you're actually able to sleep in.

Anyway, they've got some tips for the procrastinators out there. Here's some good news: you don't have to spend months planning to corral a jaw-dropping get-up, though it probably helps.

First, don't worry if your outfit doesn't match. To be totally honest, some of the best costumes are haphazard arrangements of neon lycra, feather boas, wild wigs and a touch of glitter. The wonkier, the better, really. Don't be afraid to get crazy — you'll be joined by 19,999 crazy people doing the same crazy things. Sounds crazy, we know.

But say you've wrangled a group of like-minded procrastinators — greater organizational feats have happened, after all —and you're ready to pull out all the stops. Well, it's time to put in the group effort. Grab some brightly colored sweaters and try your hands at Alvin and the Chipmunks(!). Maybe you'd rather be jubilantly morose, in which case you could go as Rockies fans (they're currently 63 and 72, and I'm not happy about it.) There are millions of possibilities — *cough* a group of (literal) Fat Tires *cough* — pick something and commit. It'll turn out great. And if it doesn't, well, see the above recommendation on why mismatched outfits are actually a good thing.

Something to keep in mind throughout the process: sustainability is a very, very good thing. Strive for it. Reuse clothing you've got lying around the house. Convert those empty beer bottles in the recycling into radical nunchucks. Tie those empty two liter bottles to the sides of your backpack and call yourself Buzz Lightyear. Or stick a kitchen chair to your bike saddle and, I don't know, say you're "The Really Comfortable Cyclist." This guy did it:

See, it's really not that hard. The only thing left to do after you've figured out your threads is to head to Meldrum and Maple at 10 a.m. for the bike parade. Then it's time to dance — something Jordana and Dana are really great at even while sitting.

Well that's all for now. Hopefully you feel inspired. If you don't, that's okay, too. Even the Tour-goer in their Saturday morning pajamas will be welcomed with open arms. Actually, on second thought, that would be pretty cool, not to mention comfortable.