Acura reveals production-ready 2014 RLX

2014 Acura RLX

Acura has released a photo of the production version of the 2014 RLX, which is radically different from the RLX concept revealed at the New York Auto Show. Newly-appointed Honda/Acura PR chief Parsley Thyme says the car has had a crash redesign to address the concerns of automotive journalists.

“We put the world’s most most sophisticated all-wheel-drive system in the TL, and the media said the car was too ugly,” said Thyme. “We toned down the styling on the RDX, and you said the driveline wasn’t sophisticated enough. Well, fuck all of you. You want a BMW? Fine. Here’s your fucking BMW.”

“It’s not as if it matters what the car looks like,” Thyme added. “We’re selling to Accord owners. I could shit in my hand, put an Acura badge on it, and they’d line up for blocks to buy it.”

Asked about the torque-vectoring hybrid drive system in the RLX concept, Chief Engineer Ahshiro Nakamama said, “Nope. Gone. Out back in the fucking dumpster. Guess you ought to learn to show a little gratitude.”

Experienced automotive journalist Clifton Faghands was asked his opinion of the revised RLX, but he refused to speculate until he had attended the press preview. “That place in Barcelona where they took us to drive the TL was an absolute dump, and my steak was undercooked. I hated the car.”