This Name. That Name. What Name?

27Mar

Often when I drive around I can’t help but notice the names of the several businesses in town. My first question usually is how and why they come up with these names and more often than not, who approved of those name. Sad to say, the answers don’t come to me as easily as I would hope, so I keep on driving.

On one of such journeys, I decided to take a long of the most outstanding ones I espied. Behold, I give you ten (10) of the names that made it to my hit list.

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1. Unique Christianville Educational Institute

I’m not sure what to make of this. I never knew of a town by name Christianville nor have I ever heard of its educational institute. It must be where all go to become Christian.

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2. Peculiar Child Academy

Motto: Peculiar, we are the children!

Peculiar is not a word I would choose to describe my children. So a whole school full of them would be rather much. By the way, who came up with that motto?

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3. Your Hearts Desire Boutique and Beauty Shop

Name your hearts desire and you’ll have it. Whether it is shoes designed by Cartier or Louis Vitton, or the dress Nicole Kidman wore at the Oscars. It’s all yours!

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4. Unique Foresight Internet Cafe

If my foresight were not unique, I wouldn’t own this wonderful slow connection Internet cafe. How many people do you know who own Internet cafe’s? I’m the only one with this unique foresight! [The COW]

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5. Wisdom Laundry Services

Wisdom could be the name of the owner. Or better yet they wish to show you that they employ ample doses of wisdom in laundering your clothes.

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6. Good Name Fitting Shop

Where all who have good names go to fix their cars.

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7. Green Cheese Spot

Before I go further, I should state that this is a local “blue kiosk”. When I say “blue kiosk” you should know that I’m refering to our very ubiquitous street corner drinking bars. Now, I have 2 questions. Why cheese? I mean seriously, why cheese? Seeing as the spot has nothing to do with any item on the tall list of dairy products. Secondly, must the cheese be green?

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8. Ex Gratia Enterprise

Owner: “While I was in a position of power, I saved up enough money to start my own enterprise in a 10×15 kiosk. But my ESB could only do so much. I couldn’t summon the courage to steal more. So please buy from me, I beg.”

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9. The Lord’s Arrow of Deliverance Enterprise

Dare any human try to subvert, sabotage or damage this business in any way shape or form. There shall you see God’s arrow of deliverance at top speed and in full force upon your head! Be ye warned.

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10. Bisa Awurade Stop Over

Don’t just stop there, be sure to ask God if He feels that’s the right place to stop over. Otherwise, just pass on by to the next stop.

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11. De Hairvens Barbering Shop

Ummm… I’m all about puns and all, but this one deε I beg! Everyone who barbers there goes straight to Hairven. The haven of all Hairs. All barbers do go to Hairven. I could go on and on and on.

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12. Surprise Beauty Shop

Guess what you come in with long hair and surprise! You leave with short spiky hair. Or maybe you asked them to dye your hair black and SURPRISE! They dye it blue!!!

And oh oh oh how about this one?God is the Best Fried Yam
A friend saw this written boldly while in Ghana. A look at this statement with a careless eye would hardly reveal the depth and controversy wrapped up in it. Several schools of thought could be gathered from such a proclamation. In fact I think I could base an entire thesis on this.