How to More Properly Fake Sick

Everybody fakes sick sometimes. Maybe not full-on horrible puke up your guts sick. But everybody, at one point or another, exaggerates current symptoms, says their headache is worse than it is, or full-on invents something. I don’t believe anybody for a second who says they don’t. At least once in a great while.

And how could you not? Life is full of all sorts of opportunities when exaggerating or faking sickness is more or less necessary.

Like when your in-laws are super excited about the free tickets they just got (for all of you! Yay!) to go visit the annual traveling scarf exhibit.

Or when your best friend calls you up and tells you that his girlfriend’s best friend is in town, and his girlfriend’s best friend isn’t exactly your type. And by not your type, I mean that the last time you went out with her she ordered the mega-quadruple-patty-bacon-burger and then washed it down with half a dozen shots of Patron.

Or when your sister calls you and tells you that she just rented the entire box-set of Sex and the City and wants to pull an all-nighter.

Or when your buddy calls you and tells you that a bunch of friends are gonna go get high and, darn it, you just aren’t in the mood to have drugs in your body.

Or when your girlfriend calls you and says that she wants you to go shopping. And you know that “let’s go shopping” is code for, “come with me so that I can sucker you into buying me some stuff!”

Or when your child tells you he wants to go try the new super-death-coaster at your local amusement park.

Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!