Janice aboard Seaweed,
living the good life afloat...

Aphorisms*

For years I've been collecting short
pithy statements otherwise known as aphorisms. If you're like me and enjoy
thought provoking items, well, here you go:

That's why Tide laundry detergent was invented: so
children could enjoy their lives and moms could rescue the clothes,
post-playtime. Janice Marois.

It seem to come in cycles! You will have a bit of
everything working perfectly, then a rash of little failures! If itís
any peace of mind they donít have Home Depots on every corner because
land houses are super reliable. ksanders on
http://Liveaboard-boats.com

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what
to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. George S.
Patton.

You eventually realize you don't own a boat... you
are the mayor of a city with several power stations, fresh and salt
water supplies, lighting, generators, main power station, and a sewage
system. Bruce, Mayor of M/V Mary Shaw.

Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost
any 'how.' Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, 1905-1997.

An excuse is often a lie wrapped in a skin of
reason.

An emergency room RN once told me the most dangerous
person in a home is the shack-up or second spouse.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things
that fish do in it. W.C. Fields.

If you always do what interests you, at least one
person is pleased. Katharine Hepburn.

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I
will go fishing. Henry David Thoreau.

If you do it and hate it, you can always go back, no
shame in that. M/V Landfall re life aboard.

You can never lose a homing
pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a
pigeon.

True friendship is a plant
of slow growth. George Washington.

DO
is the first part of DONE.

A
grandmother pretends she doesnít know who you are on Halloween. Erma
Bombeck.

Hurricane winds are counterclockwise in northern
hemisphere and clockwise in the southern.

Being anchored out is the worst choice during a
hurricane, even if you have great ground tackle, oversized gear, no
canvas, nothing on deck, etc. You are dependent upon every other bozo
upwind/upstream of you to know what they are doing and not break loose
during the storm. Janice Marois.

I'm not old. I'm chronologically gifted.

Be not simply good; be good for something. Henry
David Thoreau.

There is only one success - to be able to spend your
life in your own way. Christopher Morley.

It's a good thing not everyone has a smartphone.
Someone has to honk when the light turns green. Grumpy Cat.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

She had always imagined that being in love [] was
being comfortable with someone and not feeling complete unless they
were with you. Betty Neels in Two Weeks to Remember. Addendum: on
their own boat that is. J.

Always be more than you appear, and never appear to
be more than you are. And by the way... I asked what time it is, not
how to build a clock. svmariane on CruisersForum

Family Tradition: Doing the same old thing, only
it's fun.

Should my pressure pump ever fail I still can get
water out of my tank by using the hand pump. Also, if I have a power
crisis I will be able to access my fresh water. Janice Marois.

Elegance is not being noticed, it's about being
remembered.

A good thing to exercise when you're putting on
weight is restraint.

I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince
Charming. I'm more upset about forest creatures and their
unwillingness to clean my house. SomeEcards.

Happiness comes when we stop wailing about the
troubles we have, and offer thanks for all the troubles we don't have.

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper,
does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Life afloat does not get any better. Of course each
time I say that, yet another wonderful thing happens! I suppose that
is the real miracle of living my dreams. I am without a doubt very
fortunate. Janice Marois.

In the end, the rich guy is the one with all the
stories to tell. Heap on TrawlerForum.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will
make him wag his tail.

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men
say. I just watch what they do. Andrew Carnegie.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist
and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce
unionized.

A man's intelligence does not increase as he
acquires power. What does increase is the difficulty in telling him
that. Ronald Reagan in 1983.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.

Accidentally I went to the grocery
store on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner
of aisle 4.

For every complicated problem, there is a simple
solution... and it's probably wrong.

Great works are performed, not by strength, but by
perseverance. Samuel Johnson.

If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for
the rest of our lives. Lemony Snicket.

What would you do if money was no object? Sean
McCabe.

Never confuse a lack of failure for success. Mario
Vittone.

If I knew I'd live this long, I would have taken
better care of myself. Mickey Mantle.

Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices
of today.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright.

My bounce back is more like a
THUD. Janice Marois.

It's not how a boat sails,
it's how it anchors because that is what the boat is doing for 99% of its
life. Chuck Brantley.

More money is spent each year
on alcohol and cigarettes than on Life insurance.

Be who you needed when you
were younger. #PetroPumpWisdom

The worst part about being
lied to is knowing someone thought you weren't worth the truth. Janice
Marois.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
[1823 and 1826 respectively]

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I
will go fishing. Henry David Thoreau.

Clutter is the physical manifestation of unmade
decisions fueled by procrastination. Christina Scalise.

Dealing with the consequences of Good Ideas can take the wind right
out of my sails. Janice Marois.

You only have to do a very few things right in your
life so long as you don't do too many things wrong. Warren Buffett.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

Did you know that Raymond Burr had a brother who was a
lumberjack? His name was Tim.

What was once Best Practice, all too soon becomes
obsolete. Janice Marois.

Ample access to the engine, generator, and batteries
is CRITICAL when you are boat shopping. If it is not easy for you to reach
things now, I can practically guarantee previous owners have not done
routine maintenance as often as recommended. Janice Marois.

A bookshelf is a treasure chest for a curious mind.

We love Dauntless because she never lets us down. Now if
only I could find a way to control that nut behind the wheel. Richard on
Dauntless re his "fix" that wasn't.

You get what you inspect, not what you expect.

We are the pattern of our atoms, not the atoms per se.
When my pattern is gone, so too shall I be. The universe, with its
sparking stars goes on, unmoved, unknowing. Unbearable beauty,
unimaginable vistas, lost to my eyes forever and ever. Mike Darwin of
CCM-L.

I think I fish, in part, because itís an anti-social,
bohemian business that, when gone about properly, puts you forever
outside the mainstream culture without actually landing you in an
institution. John Gierach.

When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock
elsewhere.

Job Evaluation: Works well when under constant supervision and
cornered like a rat in a trap.

Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by
removing their vocal cords. They can't croak.

Once I realized how expensive funerals are, I began
to exercise and watch my diet. Thomas Sowell, born 30 June 1930.

Hey buddy...just because I have to leave now
(October) to be there in February doesn't mean I am slow...well
OK...bicyclists....good rowers...even fast walkers can beat me down
there...but that doesn't mean I am slow...I often pass turtles sunning
themselves!!!! psneed.

The rights and responsibilities of being a civilized
human being are inseparable. Louis Brusco Jr., MD.

I used to have Saturday Night Fever. Now I have
Saturday night hot flashes.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we
play the hand. Randy Pausch.

It was little wonder that Tom seemed all but
immune to being bothered by small vexations.
A tedious assignment at work? A football game to cover in a
blizzard? A late-night shift
followed by an early-morning wakeup call? Please. He had seen worse.
He could always
know: No one could throw anything at him as tough as what he, and
the soldiers of D-Day
with whom he had served, had seen when they were young. They were
constantly among us,
once upon a time. They moved among us, and they elected to keep
their pasts invisible.
They were, in every sense of the phrase, men among men. Forever.

It takes a great deal of
bravery to stand up to our enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to
your friends. Albus Dumbledore in Sorcerer's Stone. 2001.

With a boat, if you don't care for the view, the
neighbors or the weather, you haul in the lines and change them! OffDuty
on TrawlerForum.

Protocols are for the guidance of the wise and the
slavish obedience fools. Eric of Durban, MD.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows
down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired
mustache.

They got on so well together; she couldn't think of
anyone else with whom she could be silent without feeling awkward
about it. Betty Neels in Two Weeks to Remember.

If it is important to you, you will find a way. If
not, you'll find an excuse.

The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is "Live
Free or Die." The plates are manufactured by convicts in state
prisons.

Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse
keeps moving but does not make progress. Alfred A. Montapert.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but
most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy
Rooney.

A house is made of wooden beams. A home is made of love
and dreams.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make
him wag his tail.

You eventually realize
you don't own a boat... you are the mayor of a city with several power
stations, fresh and salt water supplies, lighting, generators, main
power station, and a sewage system. Bruce, Mayor of M/V Mary Shaw.

Being on a budget means making compromises while
saving for the future. Having fortitude and an end goal in place is
critical for success. Enduring is not fun if the future looks to be
more of the same. Janice Marois.

My own sins are much less annoying than yours!
Janice Marois.

The things that come to those that wait may be the
things left by those who got there first.

I think we have distilled the power vs sail argument
down to one pivotal question. Do you want ice? Twistedtree on
TrawlerForum.

Being on a vessel at anchor when things are going belly up is
definitely not for
a
new-to-the-boating world couple. That is almost always a recipe for
disaster. Janice Marois.

A goal without a
plan is just a wish.

Life on the hook is
not for brand new boaters. Those that can afford it should plan to spend a couple months getting ready while dockside.
Janice Marois.

Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your
values.

Even as we sit here quietly at the dock, enjoying our
drinks, things are breaking. Caltexflanc on TrawlerForum.

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so
many dead rabbits on the highway?

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is
what you get if you don't. Pete Seeger.

There is nothing that duct tape or roses can't fix.

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation
determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
Raymond Chandler, private eye Philip Marlowe writer born in 1888.

Having ample power makes a world of difference when
life is spent at anchor. Janice Marois.

You're getting old when you don't care where your
wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

Once a man comes to like a sea life, he is no longer
fit to live on dry land. Dr. Samuel Johnson, 1708-1784.

Friends are relatives you make for yourself.
Eustache Deschamps.

After eating a 4-cylinder Datsun did Godzilla say
'Gosh I could have had a V-8'?

I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some
form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

The man who invented pills was a very bright
fellow--but the man who put the sugar coating on them was a genius.
William Lyon Phelps.

Old age and sickness bring out the essential
characteristics of a man. Felix Frankfurter.

Things that can never be boring: passing clouds, dancing
flames and running water. Vito Dumas, paraphrased.

Crude boat names are regarded with derision by all
but the most immature. Janice Marois.

The fewer functions any device is required to perform,
the more perfectly it can perform those functions.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most
people just exist. Oscar Wilde.

Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived
life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live. Tuck
Everlasting.

A chrysanthemum by any other name would be easier to
spell.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "ut
oh," it's already too late.

My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat.

Boaters should realize
schedules are guidelines for the future rather than carved in stone.
Janice Marois.

The opposite sex likes people who shower.

The best version of condition I've seen in a survey
was "Exhibits extensive amounts of deferred maintenance."
BaltimoreLurker on TrawlerForum.

If someone more than one time makes the same suggestion, find out
why. Janice Marois.

Good intentions will always be pleaded for every
assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the
Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good
intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but
they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to
be masters. Daniel Webster.

In order to discover new lands, one must be willing
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. Andre Gide.

The only way to ensure you won't succeed is not even
to try.

I learned in
Navy yards long ago that you get the job you inspect and insist on
- leave your boat to the mercy of the yard at your own risk. Rich
Gano, M/V Frolic.

There are three signs of old age: The first is memory
loss...I can't remember the other four. Christopher Stevens.

He considered himself a "writer" as opposed to an
"author," defining a writer as someone whose books sell. Mickey Spillane, of Mike Hammer fame.

She was at home among books, not humans. If her books
could have come alive and been present at that gathering, how gladly
would she have walked in and conversed with their characters, one by
one, thrilled by the thought of meeting those she knew so well. Grace
Livingston Hill in Crimson Roses.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you
win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin.

Generosity with strings is not generosity: it is a
deal. Marya Mannes.

There are thousands and thousands of people out
there living lives of quiet, screaming desperation who work long, hard
hours, at jobs they hate, to enable them to buy things they don't need
to impress people they don't like. Nigel Marsh.

A good life is when you assume nothing, do more,
need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how
blessed you are. Pinterest.

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of
preparation, hard work and learning from failure. Colin Powell.

Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and
direction.

Even as we sit here quietly at the dock, enjoying
our drinks, things are breaking. Caltexflanc on TrawlerForum.

You can either ask someone to do something or tell
them how you want it done; not both. If you already know best how to do
it, just do it yourself.

Be resourceful and think outside the box. Craig aka CPseudonym on TrawlerForum.

In every job that must be done there is an element of
fun. Mary Poppins.

Thorough preparation makes its own luck. Joe Poyer.

As Americans we must always remember that we all have a
common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I
refer, of course, to the federal government. Dave Barry.

Experience is your reward for surviving your mistakes.

The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still
half-full... of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before
your teeth are floating in it.

You eventually realize you don't own a boat... you
are the mayor of a city with several power stations, fresh and salt
water supplies, lighting, generators, main power station, and a sewage
system. Bruce, Mayor of M/V Mary Shaw.

I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince
Charming. I'm more upset about forest creatures and their
unwillingness to clean my house. SomeEcards.

A government big enough to give you everything you
want, is strong enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jefferson.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do
not vote. George Jean Nathan.

Even small noises cause the pupils of eyes to
dilate. It is believed that this is why surgeons, watchmakers and
others who perform delicate manual operations are so bothered by
uninvited noise. The sound causes their pupils to change focus and
blur the vision, making it harder to do their job well.

If history repeats itself, I am so getting a
dinosaur.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or
naked?

When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm
better. Mae West.

You won't have to buy more if
you know where what you already own is located. Janice Marois.

God, to compensate for the weakness of man, had
bestowed on him reason, invention, and skill in workmanship. Swiss Family
Robinson by Johann David Wyss.

If you can control your expectations, you can
control the costs. AusCan on TrawlerForum.

Nothing is as permanent as a temporary repair! Sailor of
Fortune on TrawlerForum.

It ain't what they call you. It's what
you answer to. W.C. Fields.

Transitions, no matter how anticipated or good can
be hard. It seems like we have to let something go in order to grasp that
new thing. Pam in Minnesota.

I can best be described as physically phfitt, and not
getting any younger. Janice Marois.

Regarding Colonel Harlan Sanders: In
retrospect, maybe Colonel Sanders wasn't really all that interested in
cooking. Maybe everything, the secret blend of herbs and spices, the
down-home persona, the hundreds of franchises, was a cover for the fact
that he had a deep, abiding, and pathological hatred of hens.

Never take a 16-year-old male grocery shopping
before you feed him.

Giving money and power to government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P.J. O'Rourke.

I personally like the forward progression mankind
has made in life and would like to capitalize on it. M/V Miller Time part
deux.

I am not bullheaded; I simply have a resistance to
stupid ideas. Diana Palmer.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over
platter.

My daughter was asked by a little old lady in a
London hotel restaurant what her daddy did. She answered, "He's a pirate"
- I was very proud of that answer. Johnny Depp.

When you innovate, youíve got to be prepared for
everyone telling you that youíre nuts. Larry Ellison.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It
comes from indomitable will. Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948.

Safety, convenience, security, reliability and
comfort are all important factors for my future afloat.

When something bad
is going on the last thing
the person in trouble needs is a useless kibitzer. Janice Marois.

Politicians never accuse you of 'greed' for wanting
other people's money - only for wanting to keep your own money. Joseph
Sobran.

You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than
you earn. Abraham Lincoln.

A technician replaces parts. A professional finds
out why something happened and solves the underlying problem before
replacing parts. Paul of Sunrize Marine, paraphrased.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it
is; we'll find it. Sam Levenson.

If a girl's heart wasn't lovely what did it matter
how her outward features were formed? The Street of the City by Grace
Livingston Hill.

I long for the solitude of a sunset at sea, and the
chill of the breeze coming in with the eve. For the motion of my boat,
as she swings on her rode, and the beauty of the stars, in the
evenings last glow. R.C. Gibbons.

Fool me once, your fault. Fool me twice, mine.
Edmond J. Marois.

Skinny people tick me off! Especially when they say
things like, 'You know, sometimes I forget to eat.' You have to be a
special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats
to pull a sled through the snow. Jeff Valdez.

Manatees reside in the nicer, more populated areas.
Generally the more upscale and pricey the real estate, the more manatees,
requiring more signs and "no wake" zones. Pat Culotta.

Cop says: "Gee, your eyes are red. Have you been
drinking?" Drunk says: "Gee officer, your eyes are glazed. Have you been
eating donuts?"

The best indicator of future performance is past behavior.

Now, bring me that horizon. Johnny Depp.

There is no such thing as a ten minute boat project.
Trust me on this..! PeterB on TrawlerForum.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in
times of great moral crises maintain their neutrality. Dante
Alighieri.

Patience and fortitude conquer all things. Ralph
Waldo Emerson.

My wife says I claim to be
messing with boats but that what I am really doing is collecting
tools. Douglas Pollard.

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are
God.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Of all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest
are these: ĎIt might have been.í

One should only feel guilt for intentional misdeeds.
One should never feel guilt for the limitations of life. Dr. Laura.

I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I'm
delighted when she gets to it. Walter Matthau.

Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief
energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -
and both commonly succeed, and are right. Henry Lewis Mencken,
1880-1956.

The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle
to lobsters in the galley.

All things are difficult before they are easy.

I think we often set our expectations too high--a
perfect picture of happy, sun-lit children frolicking non-violently in a
meadow only stopping to do enriching activities and eat healthy picnics.
In reality, a day where everyone is alive when my husband gets home and I
have something on the table for dinner (it may be PB&J) is a victory.
Holly on
www.drlaura.com

Ancora Imparo, Latin. On sketch by Michelangelo meaning
"Yet I learn" or "I still learn".

You can do anything you decide to do. Amelia Earhart.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else
must be done first.

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an
uncompleted task. William James.

Scientists say they have found the ďMaster SwitchĒ
that controls obesity. Itís called the refrigerator light. Jay Leno.

There's a difference between interest and commitment.
When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's
convenient. When you're committed to something you accept no excuses;
only results. Kenneth Blanchard.

At the end of the day home is only important because
of the people in it, not the stuff nor how it is arranged, dusted or
kept up.

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."

No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.
Jewish Proverb.

Wisdom consists not so much in knowing what to do in
the ultimate as knowing what to do next. Herbert Hoover.

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can
go; they merely determine where you start. Nido Qubein.

Air conditioning was invented for the specific
purpose of maintaining intelligent life in the south.

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed
if you don't try. Beverly Sills.

Imagination is intelligence having fun.

Rule of 3s: We can do without oxygen for three
minutes. We can do without a viable water source for three days. We can
live without food for three weeks. But after that, you're dead. British
Prepper Michael Sanderson.

Dreams make the impossible possible, dedication makes
the possible probable, and work makes the probable happen. Jim Trefethen.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for
powers equal to your tasks.

Aim for success, not perfection. Dr. David M. Burns.

In the long run the pessimist may be proved right,
but the optimist has a better time on the trip. Daniel L. Reardon.

Women shop and men buy. Janice
Marois.

I shall add to my list, as the eighth deadly sin,
that of anxiety of mind; and resolve not to be pining and miserable,
when I ought to be grateful and happy. Sir Thomas Bernard, 1817.

A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the
branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on it's
own wings. Always believe in yourself.

How many boaters does it take to change a light
bulb? None, because the right size bulb isn't on board, the local
marine-supply store doesn't carry that brand, and the mail-order house
has them on back-order.

The difference between try and triumph is just a
little "umph"!

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What
would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call
for backup.'

Parents are like shuttles on a loom. They join the
threads of the past with threads of the future and leave their own
bright patterns as they go. Fred Rogers. 1928-2003. Mr. Rogers.

One of the reasons things can be hard to part with
is that we invest them with value they don't really have. We bought
things for who we wanted to be so we mourn not being that person now.
If you can concentrate instead on who you are becoming it will help.
Linda Sand.

Less clutter
is both mentally and emotionally liberating. That may indeed be the
greatest gift you ever give yourself. Janice Marois.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item,
after you've purchased it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what
experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. Bruce
Crampton.

I also was once sooo sure I had made a
mistake, but then I woke up and realized it was just a nightmare.... We
perfectionists have some really bad dreams. Rich Gano.

Mildew Cure-all: Boric Acid [20-mule team Borax] is
a fungicide. Dissolve in a bucket of hot water and "paint" it where
unseen. The powder kills insects (roach killer) when mixed with some
form of sugar. Lysol is the strongest biocide - use gloves.

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot
cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting
started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable
tasks, and then starting on the first one. Mark Twain.

Our goal should be to provide everything that SHOULD be
done, not everything that COULD be done. Donald B. Chalfin, MD.

This isn't hell. This is where you get sent when
you've been bad in hell.

Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did
it. Autograph your work with excellence.

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marylyn Monroe.

Every cruiser is born with a certain amount of
tolerance. By the time you get to the status of old cruiser, you've had to
deal with so many jerks all your 'nice' is used up.

Ballpoint pens were invented by a Michigan scientist
attempting to reduce the number of birds killed for their quills.

Why do famous people feel cool? Because they are
surrounded by fans! Bree Schultz.

A good plan violently executed
now is better than a perfect plan next week. General George Patton.

Life is full of surprises. Just say "never" and
you'll see.

I study innovations and imagine ways the new ideas
can be used to positively impact my life. Janice Marois.

The mechanic called the car owner's well-kept
records an autobiography.

An old rule of mine is that marriage does not
improve behavior. Ever. Margo Howard, daughter of Ann Landers.

Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax
begins with April Fools' Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!' Robert
Knauerhase.

Generally there is something about everything that you
can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it. Pollyanna
by Eleanor Hodgman Porter.

Clutter seems to grow exponentially when one settles
in a place for any length of time. Janice Marois.

Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully
starts to sing while it is still dark.

Everyone is your best friend when you are
successful. Paula Abdul.

When I was eighteen, I wanted to save the world. Now,
I'd be happy to save a hundred dollars. Earl Wilson.

Old is when your friends compliment you on your new
alligator shoes and you're barefoot. Red Buttons.

The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is
to put some dishes in it.

Getting rid of
clutter isn't just throwing away stuff.
Instead, it's about picking the very best and using pnly those
things that bring pleasure. Janice Marois.

Tricks of the Trades by Bruce Van Sant is
a book for those that aren't of the Voyager's Handbook economic
stratosphere, for people who are physically phfitt and not getting any
younger, for boaters who want to know how he did it for decades aboard
a series of boats. I liked it. Janice Marois.

I am not saying you're crazy; I'm saying you're one
buckle shy of a straight jacket.

Misfortunes one can endure--they come from outside,
they are accidents. But to suffer for ones own faults--ah!--there is
the sting of life! Oscar Wilde.

My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income,
subtract from my weight, divide my time and avoid multiplying.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because
fools are so ingenious.

I may make many mistakes in my life, but neglecting
to enjoy my baby will not be among them. For now, she is all promise and
all potential. And for a little while, she is all mine. Caroline Castle
Hicks.

I prefer to think of my boat as a hull in the water that
holds my soul. THD on TrawlerForum.

Today I have been more useless than the "g" in lasagna.

Solving an
issue independently is one trait of a successful boater.
Janice Marois.

Tools need to
be near where they are used,
especially in an emergency situation. Janice Marois.

The best bilge pump is a scared sailor with a
bucket.

The richest man, whatever his lot, is he who is content
with what he has got. Dutch proverb.

The scale of our homes should be derived from the
real needs of our daily lives, not from vanity, insecurity, or a need for
public display. Home should be the setting for life, not the measure of
it. James Gauer.

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.
Philip K. Saunders.

Your working IQ is your regular IQ, divided by the
number of boats you own. Bestathook on Cruisers Forum.

It is precisely the possibility of realizing a dream
that makes life interesting. Paulo Coelho.

No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor.
Danish proverb.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for
tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert Einstein.

The main benefit to a small fiberglass dinghy like Algae
is that folks don't realize by virtue of the fenders she is stable, thus
she's less likely to be acquired by nefarious sorts. Janice Marois.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but
after a while he knows something. George Ade.

Asking questions is important but even more so is
listening to the complete answer. Janice Marois.

The "winterizing" method one of my GMC friends says he
uses is to tie a snow shovel to his front bumper, then drive South until
someone asks him what that that thing tied to his bumper is. RonC on
VanDwellers.

Sometimes I just look up, smile and say, "I know that
was you God. Thanks!"

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It
didn't go as planned, and that's okay. Rachel Wolchin.

Before you take on some big job, full of confidence
because you did it before, just remember that you were younger when you
did it before. Thomas Sowell.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let
him make her sorry to see him leave. Martin Luther.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure
you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it
comes up easily, it's a valuable plant.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are
reported to have learned English - up to fifty words used in correct
context - no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
Carl Sagan. 1934-1996.

I want my life simple and the
tools used need to be intuitive, easy and work. Janice Marois.

Christmas has been canceled, and it is all your
fault because you told Santa Claus you've been good this year and he
died laughing.

The message is the journey, we are sure the answer
lies in the destination. But in reality, there is no station, no place
to arrive at once and for all. The joy of life is the trip, and the
station is a dream that constantly out distances us. Robert Hastings,
The Station.

I suspect a rather strong streak of independence
would be found a common denominator in most successful boaters. Janice
Marois.

It's discouraging to think how many people are
shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. Noel Coward.

It's a boat and stuff goes wrong. Fixing it is a
matter of perseverance.

I'm old, I'm cold and I want
to go home. Pat in Carrabelle.

Thinking about danger is absolutely fruitless unless
it leads to risk reduction. Fix what you want to, deal with what
happens, and any landing you walk away from you learn from. Ann T.
Cate, on CruisersForum.

It's not about being perfect, it's about doing
something. If we're looking for perfection, we'll never, ever get
there. Laurie David.

Love is a friendship set to music. E. Joseph
Cossman.

A turtle only makes progress when its neck is out.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the
Titanic.

Minor irritations make for
major thorns if not resolved quickly. Janice Marois.

Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for
enjoying sex.

Aim for success, not perfection. Dr. David M. Burns.

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is
the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I will try again
tomorrow."

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will
go fishing. Henry David Thoreau.

There is no point dwelling on all the foolish mistakes
we have made in our lives. For one thing, it can be very time consuming.
Thomas Sowell.

When told the reason for daylight saving time the Old
Indian said, "Only the Federal Government would believe that you could cut
a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer
blanket."

12 o'clock Flasher aka idiot. Every appliance in the
home flashes 12:00.

People usually do what they feel like doing anyway and
rationalize what they've done afterward. L. E. Modesitt Jr.

Having an interesting life is a matter of choice.

How do you know it's Fall in Florida? The license
plates start changing colors. Pilothouse King on TrawlerForum.

In 1845, President Andrew Jackson's pet African grey
parrot called Polly, was removed from his funeral for swearing.

And while we live at anchor and thus live a normal
life with a couple of drinks, I always remember that Neptune has decided
that in my case all emergencies occur late at night. Marty on Bay Pelican.

Until it leaves the dock, a boat is just substandard
housing. Move it! Janet Groene.

I don't really cook all that often and when I do
poison control is on the speed dial "just in case". Stacy L.

The opposite sex likes people who shower.

Dark chocolate can be stored for years, while white and
milk chocolate shouldn't be kept for longer than nine months. Hints
from Heloise.

Advice is free. If I have to get out my tools, I
charge. Larry Pardey.

I can understand wanting to have millions of
dollars, there's a certain freedom, meaningful freedom, that comes with
that. But once you get much beyond that, I have to tell you, it's the same
hamburger. Bill Gates.

The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand
as playing a poor hand well. H.T. Leslie.

The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a
girl like a book, your library card has expired. Milton Berle.

Your present circumstances don't determine where you
can go; they merely determine where you start. Nido Qubein.

My super power is that I think of the easiest and
most efficient solution to a problem and I implement it. I call it,
'Common Sense.'

Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you
do the most are the things you will do the best. Marva Collins, Educator.

The first step toward healthy stress is to define the
problem. The best definition that I've heard of a problem is that a
problem is something I can do something about. If I can't do anything
about it, it is not my problem. Fred Smith.

Better to do something imperfectly than to do
nothing flawlessly. Robert H. Schuller.

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON television?

The most dangerous person in the
world to a child is the step-father or mother's boyfriend.

If boat building is your hobby, get a fixer up and
be happy for 5-10 years. IF cruising is the goal, get the boat, get
underway and in a year decide what isn't working for you. FF on
TrawlerForum.

If the only tool you
own is a hammer, soon everything begins to look like a nail. Janice
Marois.

A little help is better than a lot of pity. Celtic
Proverb.

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love
you... They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return.
They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can
kill and eat them. Perfect. Bill Bryson.

If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the
goal.

Don't fix the blame, fix the problem. Keith S.
Pennington.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain
dance.

I wanted to do something nice, so I bought my
mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. Henny Youngman.

Do not argue over inconsequential matters.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear --
not absence of fear. Mark Twain.

Black flies breed in running water, mosquitoes in
standing water. The black flies come at the beginning of mud season and the mosquitoes at the end.

Itís absolutely unfair for women to say that guys
only want one thing: sex. We also want food. Jarod Kintz, $3.33.

In my day we didn't have water. We had to smash together
our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for
curiosity. Dorothy Parker.

Iím an idealist, I donít know where Iím going, but
Iím on my way. Carl Sanburg.

Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove
how badly we want things. Randy Pausch.

The national budget must be balanced. The public debt
must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and
controlled. Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC.

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for
the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to
live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The
robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point
be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us
without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. C.
S. Lewis.

This must be the golden age of euphemisms. When people
deliberately violate our laws by crossing our borders illegally, they
are called "undocumented workers." When people steal copyrighted
material and exchange it among themselves, it is called "file
swapping" instead of fencing stolen goods. Thomas Sowell.

Every marina has a few "experts". They are the guys
who, if you ask them what time it is, tell you about how they built the
clock. Chief Engineer on CruisersForum.

The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the
storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient
reason for remaining ashore. Vincent Van Gogh.

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00 At a special ceremony, two
of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the
wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full
view, a killer whale ate them both.

Mother fish to school of baby fish: "Your father, may he
rest in peace, was considered quite a catch."

He says I have guts and a low instinct for
self-preservation. I believe it's merely a positive outlook combined
with a limited imagination. (re planned Atlantic crossing)

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman.

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to
tell people you are, you aren't. Margaret Thatcher.

How come when you mix water and flour together you
get glue, and then you add eggs and sugar and get cake? What happens to
the glue? You know the answer already: that's what makes the cake stick to
your butt.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in
others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise,
walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. Audrey Hepburn.

Going to the grocery store just isn't a priority when
the fate of a fictional character in a book is hanging in the balance.

Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.
Marois proverb.

Luxury, real luxury, is spending an entire day reading a
good book, or enjoying the companionship of someone you love, or marveling
underwater at the colors of tropical fish. And knowing you can do the same
tomorrow if you want to, and the day after.

The past gives us experience and memories; the present
gives us challenges and opportunities; the future gives us vision and
hope. William Arthur Ward. Journalist.

The world is moving so fast these days that the man
who says it can't be done is generally
interrupted by someone doing it. Elbert Hubbard, philosopher, author,
publisher. 1856-1915.

To dream is to see beyond the horizon and to know we are
capable of anything our heart
desires.

Do you know the difference between a
beautiful woman and a charming one? A beauty is a woman you notice, a
charmer is a one who notices you. Adlai Stevenson.

Whatever your dreams are, work now to make them happen.

It's sad beyond measure when a fellow is
forced to
give up his dream because of health issues.

Men gather wealth to them, and measure
their worth by what they have accumulated.
Women are nurturing, so we fix our value by what we can give or share with
others.

A man will spend $2 for a $1 item he wants,
while a
woman will spend $1 for a $2 item she doesn't want.

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is
force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.
George Washington.

Regarding allowances, back when I was a kidlet I had
to clean up after our saber-toothed cat and sweep the mammoth hair off the
floor of the cave; I received 10 cents a week. Anna W. on PBS,
paraphrased.

Experience is the name given mistakes, after you've
survived the event.

Vegetarian - an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'.
Andy Rooney.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you're dead and
rotten, either write things worth
reading or do things worth the writing. Benjamin Franklin.

Cold cure: At midday, look at the sun: If it is south of
you, you are in the northern hemisphere and should set a generally
southern course, whereas if it is north of you, you are in the
southern hemisphere and should set a generally northern course. Repeat
each 24 hours until the butter melts. Weyalan on CruisersForum.

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to
someone else. Erma Bombeck.

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

When we switched from a doing society to a being
society, we switched from heroes to celebrities. Heroes serve society,
celebrities serve themselves. Joseph Campbell.

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things
which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. Epictetus.

I've found that nothing keeps me alert quite like a
healthy fear of death. Sisko on StarTrek.

A boat repo man advocates making the boat
distinctive so it can easily be located in case of theft or an
emergency.

All I want is a bigger bladder so I can sleep later.

A-1 - Lloyds of London originally used this term in
their shipping registry. Ships were graded by letter, and their cargo
by number. "A" - ship perfect. "1" - cargo perfect.

Trying to beat storms instead of waiting to go in
behind them is analogous to having a boat race with the devil.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for
tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert
Einstein.

I want to live in Theory. Everything works there.

My diet can be summarized by saying: "If it's
edible, I am not supposed to eat it." Thomas Sowell.

You were born under the sign of
Pistachio... the nut. Jackie Gleason in the Honeymooner's Game.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they
certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a
car window.

Children will soon forget your presents; they will
always remember your presence.

The day after Thanksgiving begins the Christmas
shopping season. Millions of Americans will peruse the aisles looking
for that hard to find item. A helpful store clerk. Alan Ray.

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

A man convinced against his will, is of the same
opinion still. Edmond J. Marois.

If you've never run aground, you've never been
anywhere.

Whenever a bird carps on my boat, I eat a plate of
scrambled eggs in my cockpit just to let them know what I'm capable
of.

At one point in the 14th and 15th centuries, only
5-10% of the learned community believed the earth was round. I am not
saying I am right. I am saying I'm not necessarily wrong.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Harry
Truman, former President.

My last husband often said I was married to
my boat. Before we married (the husband, not the boat) I told him that if
he ever made me choose between him and my boat that I would always choose
my boat. Either he thought I was kidding, or there is more proof that men
don't listen to women. ShipShape on Sailnet.

If women have excessive belly fat and a muffin-top, it can
be fatal. Especially if you mention it to her. Jay Leno.

Male Menopause is a lot more fun than female
menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. But,
with male menopause, you get to date young women and drive motorcycles.

I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other
people's minds; then I got a Facebook account, and now I'm over it.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if
you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how
nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who
finds peace in his home. Goethe.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I
get to the end and think 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size
from too much pi.

There are two kinds of men who never amount to much:
those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing
else. Cyrus H. Curtis, 1850-1933.

I don't care what you think about me.
I don't think about you at all. Coco Chanel.

We know what December sees in May (youth,
gaiety)
and May is going to expect Christmas in December. (regarding May/December
relationships)

When you think all is lost, the future
remains.

More than once, after I woke up some morning feeling
like I was 20 again, I did something that ended up with me on crutches
or otherwise being reminded emphatically by my body that I was
definitely not 20 again. Women may lie about their age to other
people, but men lie about their age to themselves. Thomas Sowell.

Experience is something I always think I have enough
of until I get more.

The only difference between a rut and a
grave is the depth of the hole.

For every person with a spark of genius, there are a
hundred with ignition trouble. Glenn A. Colemen.

As long as women have curves, men will have
angles.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.
An optimist is a man who hopes they are. Chauncey Mitchell Depew.

Creativity is intelligence having fun. Albert Einstein.

Catfish naturally have an odd number of whiskers.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for
they shall never cease to be amused.

No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground.
One never left port and the other was an atrocious liar. Don Bamford.

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. It's your
inner child playing with matches.

Bookworms will rule the world, as soon as we finish one
more chapter.

A truly happy person can enjoy the scenery on a
detour.

Creating a happy home is a matter of attitude far
more than finances. Janice Marois.

My uncle used to sleep in a chandelier; he was a
light sleeper.

A smart man learns from his mistakes, a wise man
learns from the mistakes of others.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss
in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. Rodney Dangerfield.

Keep in mind that it doesn't have to be perfect, and
instead think, "how bad does it have to be for it not to work?" Rudy
Sechez.

My friend is taking a blind date to a Halloween
party. He said he hopes that when the masks come off, things don't get
ugly.

Begin doing what you want to now. We have only this
moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a
snowflake. Marie Beyon Ray.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be
told that sorrow knows how to swim. Ann Landers.

The trouble with doing something right the first
time is that nobody appreciates how
difficult it was.

If you are what you eat, then I only wanna eat the
good stuff. Ratatouille, by Disney.

For all who are convinced that your cat truly loves you,
try to remember that, if you were to magically shrink to a size just
smaller than your pet, the feline of your dreams would kill and eat you.
Gil Ross, Attorney.

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale
and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

If a messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, some kitchens
are delirious.

We cannot see the future nor change the past. We can
only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the
future to wreck revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the past.

The ideal boat sleeps two, feeds four and parties
six.

Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes
faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible
exception of tequila and handguns. Carl Gundlach.

I will charge nothing but the promise that you help
the next person you find in trouble.

There are no single mosquitoes. They are all
married, with children.

Done is better than unfinished and waiting/planning
for perfection. Janice Marois.

No matter how wealthy you become, you'll never have
enough money to buy back the weekends lost working. Dick Bradley.
Motor Boating & Sailing Magazine.

I don't mind going anywhere as long as it's an
interesting path.

Boat Math: Start with a list of 10 projects, finish 8,
and find yourself with only 15 projects left. Boat Projects have a
definite kinship with rabbits.

Good enough and done is better than waiting/planning for
perfection later. Janice Marois.

Happiness is created when we are free to think and
feel deeply, simply enjoy life, to overcome boundaries, and, to be needed.
Janice Marois.

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

We are never so generous as when giving advice. Francois
de la Rochefoucauld.

Forget health food. At my age I need all the
preservatives I can get.

The most important time to help someone is when they
need it. Dave Marinaccio.

When the coffee is hot, and
the talk is good, and the feeling is easy, and the laughter is light, and
the memories are many, but the time is too short, you know you are with a
friend. Ann Landers.

Begin doing what you want to now. We have only this
moment, sparkling like a star in our
hand, and melting like a snowflake. Marie Beyon Ray.

A good deed is like a pebble thrown into a pool of
water. The ripples spread far beyond the point of impact. Dear Abby by her
daughter Pauline Phillips.