This Australian Truck Driver’s Excuse For Getting A $1,200 Speeding Fine Is Something We Can All Sympathize With

Australian police don’t fuck around with speeding. Traffic infringements that carry three-figure penalties in Australia are not even illegal in other comparable parts of the world. Fines are so hefty down under that Australian government traffic fine income is eclipsing $2 billion annually, a News Corp Australia investigation has found. According to a News AU study a few years back, state and territory governments collected a combined $1,843,000,000 from road users, the equivalent of fining every Australian $80.

So, if you’re going to speed, you best have a good reason.

And there is no better reason than the tale this Aussie truck driver told authorities after getting pulled over twice in 25 minutes.

Dalwallinu Police from Western Australia shared a photo of a speeding ticket via Twitter on Monday, showing a truck driver who had driven 37 kilometres per hour (23 miles) over the speed limit.

His alibi: “I needed to shit, kids have given me gastro.” Gastro is Aussie speak for diarrhea.