Monday, May 24, 2010

Sasquatch! Campground Beer Drinking Game

Not that you need an excuse to drink at the Sasquatch! Campground, but here is the "Often Debatable Semi-Official Sasquatch 2010 Campground Drinking Game" (all rights reserved).

Drink one if.... (dedicated to our northern friends)

- You hear someone refer to themselves as Canadian.- You hear someone talking about hockey. This would have been huge had the Habs made it to the finals.- The phrase "washroom" is used to refer to a honey bucket (which is hilarious).- You witness the game of beersbee.- You hear someone talking about how they've never listened to one of the headliners.- You see a Canadian flag (bonus drink if it's in tattoo form).- You hear "Canadian" used to describe a band.- You see the honey bucket cleaners (in tribute). It is usually a highlight of the day, especially for the ladies.

Drink two if....

- You see a stupid clever tee shirt that actually makes you laugh.

- You see people dancing on top of an RV or truck.

- Dancing Man or the Decemberists Sex Scene is mentioned.- You see someone taking a picture of themselves. If you are attracted to the person, offer to take the picture for them. I shouldn't have to tell you this.- Someone tries to sell you something you don't want. "Hey man, check out this cheerios necklace I made."- You hear a song/album that makes you think, "OMG, I love this song/album, I haven't heard this in years." You'll know it when you hear it.- You see someone fall down. Take a bonus drink if they fall down with someone else, and laugh out loud because of it.- You have to ask someone their name for the fourth time.- You hear MGMT's hit single Kids.

Drink three if....- You see someone taking way too long to set up their tent. If you are taking way too long to set up your own tent, pound a beer, start over, and thank me later.

- Someone asks you for directions. If they are obviously lost, but not asking for directions, offer them a beer. They'll need it.- You see a shirtless man who is a bit too overweight to be shirtless. If the offender is female, refer to the drink five tier.

- You hear the phrase, "I can't believe how drunk I am?" or something very similar. If this occurs before noon, start drinking.

- You see a tent blow away.- You witness a Frisbee or football hitting a stranger's car, followed by the thrower laughing hysterically while offering an unsympathetic apology.

- The hail storm is mentioned.- You meet a fan of City & Colour. Give them a hug, and take three drinks of their hard lemonade instead.- You fall down.

Drink four if....- You witness someone vomiting. Then offer them a beer. They'll have some catching up to do.

- You hear the phrase, "That show changed my life" or a similar comment. Life changing event is key here though.

- You see someone doing a headstand (just seeing if I can coerce people into performing tricks for the sake of getting their neighbors drunk).- You hear the pronunciation Dead-mau-five- You see someone light a cigarette backwards.- You witness someone blaring death metal. Their attempts at showing everyone how different they are should not be ignored. Offer them a beer, only toss the beer to them overhand with heavy force when they are not looking.

Drink five if....- You hear two people arguing who are both wrong.- You see nudity. Take an additional drink for every picture you intend to post online.- It hails again or snows (you might need to drink more to cope with it).- A Kia owner is blaring, "How You Like Me Now."

Shotgun/pound a full beer if....- You meet someone from a different continent who came to the the states specifically for Sasquatch. Have your neighbors join you, because that's just cool.

Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only. None of this actually happens at the campground. The Sasquatch Blog recommends that you drink responsibly and do everything possible to ensure a good time is had by all. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to actually follow this drinking game, because the presence of MGMT's song "Kids" alone will get you way too drunk to appreciate what the campground and festival has to offer. Please do not throw anything at anyone. Women who are pregnant and/or nursing should not consume alcoholic beverages. The legal drinking age in the United States is 21. It is not permitted to make fun of 19 and 20 year old Canadians because of this. Have a great weekend!

5 comments:

To extend the Deadmau-five game: Drink 2 for every pair of Mickey Mouse ears you see during the weekend. Drink 4 if said mouse ears have LED lights/glow sticks affixed to them. Drink 5 if said mouse ears are attached to someone making the walk of shame on Sunday morning.