OKay stop me if you've heard this one.... A man walks into a supermarket.

and proceeds to get his groceries........at the end of his little trip around the rows of food. he ends up wiith a tv dinner, a 6 pack of beer. a tv
guide, and a small bag of chips. as he's walking towards the front of the store, he scopes out as to which line has the cutiest checkout cashier.
finnally deciding on one he falls in line and awaits his turn. finally his turn comes and the cashier scans the dinner and, the beer, and the other
clues to his state of life. looking up from the groceries she gives a faint smile and asks, "Single, huh?" The man feeling a little witty
replied, "Yeah, how could ya tell?" .."uh", she said, " cuz, you're f**KN' ugly"...

it is really a better joke when it's said...

no offense to anyone , cuz we've all bought groceries at one time or another........think about it...

A priest and nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night
in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on
the lounge and you have the bed.
Nun: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room.
Ten minutes later...
Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold.
Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket.
(He does) Ten minutes later...
Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold.
Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket.
(He does) Ten minutes later...
Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night.
Priest: You're probably right...get up and get your own damn blanket.

Originally posted by websurfer
Dreamengineer's probably sitting back at home secretly watching VeggieTales and getting a kick out of it. J/K
:w: :w: :w: :w: :w:
Leave it up to dreamengineer to make the church humorous.

Hmmm I have no Idea what veggietales is but I can assume its as crap as the jokes in this post

so heres another one

A small boy asks his dad "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me
Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call
you the people. The Nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if
it makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets
up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the Nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the
Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics
now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while
Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the Future is in deep #."

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