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The Gizmodo Fleshlight Review. Wait, What?!

Generally, I think you’re pretty awesome. Yeah, you post like six billion articles a day so my Google reader has told me personally that he hates you, but your tech articles are interesting and informative, and come on, you did that awesome thing with the giant cheeto and the expensive keyboard. That was totally awesome.

But come on dudes, a Fleshlight review?

Isn’t that a little more the territory of that naughty sister/brother you keep out of site called Fleshbot? Mainly, it makes me think about you sticking your junk into a Fleshlight. I really, really, really don’t need the image of a pale, skinny, Gizmodo staffer vigourously thrusting away against what you describe as an “ottoman with a fake vagina on the side.” Gross dude. Gross.

On the plus side, I really admire you getting your company to (persumably) buy you a Fleshlight. I mean, hell, I’ve been using a trash can as a seat for like six months. Fleshlight, shiiiiiiit.

Secretely though, this is the review we’ve been waiting for. The internet is awesome and all, but have you read the reviews on the Fleshlight website? Its creepy man.

…better than your wife? Man, either I should never get married or you got problems dude.

Cool story bro.

So to all you dudes out there who are reading this, and who are curious, check out this review. Just don’t let your significant other know that they’re about to be replaced.