Edward M. “Ted” Kennedy has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor
after a seizure on the family compound in Hyannis Port over the weekend.
The masses are saddened. Members of his own party, have sent flowers and
condolences. The sympathy keeps pouring in for the senator and his family
is like a wellspring.
But advocates for Kennedy say that the senator is not taking this illness
lying down. “Teddy” as he prefers to be called has announced that he wishes
to dance with the Metropolitan Ballet before he dies and that he has a wish
to dance with the stars.

Easy enough to fill those requests, yes? The ballet is simple, though
I doubt he will be any good. That is unless he somehow managed to attend
ballet as a kid. Anyhow his request to dance with the stars is a little
different than one might immediately think.

No, he isn’t asking to Dance with the Stars on that silly t.v. show designed
to make stars feel good about themselves. What he wants to do is dance
with an actual star. Apparently he recently watched Neil Gaiman’s movie
[i]Stardust[/i] and really…REALLY wants to dance with a real star.

For those of you not familiar with the movie I recommend you watch it.
This real star falls to Earth and becomes a woman. Now ole Teddy with
his eye always on the ladies has decided that he wants to dance with the
best. According to a spokesman for the family, people have been looking
into the habits of stars since the movie came out. And they made a most
amazing discovery. Stars have dance competitions!

So, he’s been secretly dusting off his twinkly toes and seeking the perfect
dance partner. The next dance competition isn’t for another lunar cycle,
but no one can tell if he will be here to participate or not, but I for
one would love to see the video footage of that one.

Hey! Wait a minute. Does this mean that they’re going to be changing
the Dancing with the Stars show up to a stellar ballroom? Wouldn’t that
be something? I mean heck, the lead competitor could be Ted Kennedy, and
of course we could always see auditions for Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis Presley,
and Luke Perry.