New Releases: March 31

1. The Last Song (Touchstone, 2,673 Theaters, 107 Minutes, Rated PG): Gee, Miley Cyrus starring in a movie adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel? Let me wrap this up quick so I can camp out in line for tickets.

That was sarcasm, kids. I’m sure this film will be like printing money, at least until Clash of the Titans opens, but it really isn’t for me.

This is the first film Cyrus has starred in that didn’t have “Hannah” or “Montana” in the title (although she did have a role in 2003’s Big Fish) another salvo in the all out blitz of making her the biggest star, like, forever. I really don’t like the way Cyrus is constantly shoved at us. She’s not all that charming a waif and her talent level doesn’t really match up with her exposure. But then again, I am three times as old as her target audience, so what do I know?

The plot revolves around an angry young woman who uses a vacation to where her divorced father lives to reconnect with him. And, knowing Sparks, she probably falls in love at some point too.

William is cursed with the shared love of comic books and of films. Luckily, this is a great time for him to be alive. His writing has been featured on Broken Frontier.com, PopMatters.com and in Comics Foundry magazine.