Over the last month or so I haven’t wanted to talk about me or what is going on in my life online save for the occasional tweet or Facebook update. I’ve been doing my best to pay attention and more than that just to be present with what is happening around me and within the circles of people that I spend time with in real life.

It was a needed break from online activity and this change of pace gave me a chance to attend and sell my art at five live art shows and sales during the months of November and December. These shows were amazing and I got to speak to many people and fans and it made me feel very humbled to be able to create for a living but more than that break out of a stagnant routine that was ultimately killing me.

I quit smoking five weeks ago. Passing that one month mark last weekend was almost more than I could stand. The moment was surreal as I was prepping for my fifth and final art show of 2011 in a neighboring city, planning a first date with a man (whom I’ve since been on two more dates with BTW) and fighting mental exhaustion from producing enough stock to bring to the shows to sell.

And shit has happened over the last five weeks and people have been mean and things have occurred that would have easily made me smoke in the past but for some damn reason I don’t care about any of you who want to see me fail or anything that wants to undermine my health or safety. I don’t wish any of you ill or harm or anything bad I just need the space from the negativity and harsh judgements that you seem to have.

I began the year 2011 talking about not being afraid and I must say this year caused me more angst and fear than any other in recent memory. But what a beautiful year it has been and what a wonderful time it is to be alive and to be not afraid.

I am fortunate to have not have lost my house this year.
I am fortunate to have regained my health.
I am fortunate to have conquered the last addiction that I had.
I am smart enough to know the difference between a good a guy and a bad guy.
And I am so lucky to have family and friends who love me.

I wish you all a safe and happy holiday season. I’ll be transitioning into blogging and working online more over the coming weeks. I miss talking with you all.

Merry Christmas from Missy two the cat, Little Orange the cat and myself!

A couple of years ago, as I approached a new decade, I decided that I was no longer going to be bashful in my 30s. To me this meant developing the strength I knew was there, and blossoming into the perpetual self-confidence I felt I deserved but never embraced. Why shouldn’t I? I was young, healthy, smart. I had good ideas, and with a little hard work, a great future.

Suffice it to say, now in my 30s, this is still an ongoing struggle.

So what’s the problem? What I didn’t know in my 20s is that being confident is a verb, an action. It’s not a feeling that floats around inside you. Doing the things of a confident person is what makes you confident. You have to do first, feel later. You cannot sit around waiting for confidence to find you, or blame the lack of it on your inability to accomplish tasks. The years continue on around us regardless of whether or not we feel confident enough to participate. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Continue reading →

I went to Kauai to find answers, not really even knowing what my questions were, but feeling like there was something I was missing that I needed to find. Or maybe I needed to be found. One of those. I don’t know.

I wait for answers too often. If I want something to happen, I assume things are simply going to work out, eventually. Someone or something will swoop in with neon signs and arrows showing me every step of the way.

But clearly, for awhile now, I’ve been unhappy. I’ve felt unsettled and awkward, almost like I was intentionally avoiding something. And for the first few days in Kauai, I wasn’t settled either. I was thrilled to be there, of course, but I felt a little like I was phoning it in. The truth was, I was starting to panic. What if I didn’t find answers here? WHAT IF THERE WERE NO ANSWERS?! Gack. Continue reading →

Like this:

I find myself at a crossroads at the moment and unsure of what road to travel down.

Do I pack up, sell the house and move into a smaller home or into an apartment? I did the cost crunching and it would basically cost about the same as where I’m living right now. So, I am staying put. One decision made.

Do I continue to find people to rent rooms to? This is the nagging question that’s been spiralling in my head as of late. I had many problems last Fall with the people I was renting to; missing tenants, unpaid rent and excessive use of scented products which in the case of the latter I’m severely allergic to.

The missing tenant was thankfully found after I was featured on the local news and is coming clean on the money he owes me while another tenant will likely be served legal papers and taken to court for the monies he owes to me. Oddly enough the third tenant who wears excessive cologne wants to move back in and when I received the email I spat out a mouthful of water onto my desk in shock. What did he not understand? Even the money he paid his rent with reeked of cologne and made my finger tips swell when handling it and I had to encase it in plastic before travelling to deposit it at the bank. This same person vehemently hated cats and hissed and shoed Missy repeatedly telling me to keep her out of his room. I said you’ll have to accept that she lives here and this is her home and that if you don’t want her in your room you’ll have to gently pick her up and place her outside of your room. Continue reading →

Everyone gets days and sometimes weeks where everything is thrown around and life literally becomes a never ending roller coaster ride… This is one of those times unedited and without links…

The roller-coaster began last week with an Etsy convo that I sent to MaryMary about a video and then a phone call that my boyfriend’s father was in the hospital. I’ve never met his family. We’ve only been together for one month but it feels like four months. Continue reading →

I use the dining room in the house as my studio. In behind the computer desk there is a built in china cabinet that upon further inspection used to be a double width doorway likely built in the 1950’s that used to lead into a littler room which is now the laundry room. I use the china cabinet for storing most of my smaller original artworks, journals, sketchbooks and handpainted items. It keeps the dust off of them. And a newer single width doorway was added to enter the kitchen around the same time.

Old houses have history and if you begin looking hard enough you’ll find old doorways that have long since been forgotten about and nooks and crannies that you didn’t realize existed before.

I did a major clean-up of the studio this past weekend and took many before and after shots. Above is the computer desk area where my iMac is housed and the great big wooden bin that my grandfather built where I keep some of my packaging supplies. My cousin’s parents gave me the white desk shortly after I bought my house. And to the right on the IKEA shelf is where I store greeting cards, prints, packaging, certificates and other art supplies. Continue reading →

…reading back in my Buzz stream and reading back in the Buzz streams of the people listed below and commenting on the Buzz post that you learn from or liking it as that action will bump the Buzz post to the top again allowing new Buzz users to see it and learn from it to.

I’ve been on Google Buzz for close to a month now and find it both invigorating and challenging at the same time. It’s taken me out of the safety zone of both Facebook and Twitter and thrust me into a new world where everyone with whom adopted the technology around the same time that I did, have become my Buzz friends. We communicate and share ideas. We argue, we learn and grow together. We made the rules.

These folks will teach you a lot about Google Buzz

Clicking their name will take you to their Buzz Stream while the second link will take you to their blog if they have one

Angel Leon – He burst onto Google Buzz creating the Mooooooooar Follower rage. If you weren’t there when it happened… well… that content has since been removed. His stream is colourful with opinions on technology and this father to be shares his every day life to.

Chris Loft – very first person to ReBuzz my content. He is an artist and musician and finds and shares some of the best and lesser known visually stimulating content on the web.

Masha Du Toit – one of the first artists I met on Buzz (YAY!) who is actively using it to. Her Buzz stream is most pleasing to the eye.

I would never have met any of these people if it weren’t for Buzz. Keep that in mind when you begin using Buzz and your time their will be most enjoyable. Buzz is about conversation. It is about learning. It is about sharing and discussing hot topics. It is about breaking away from the norm and not being afraid to do it. It is about open web standards. It is about blogging. It is about business. It is about being yourself.

It is about the future of the web and it’s happening right now in real-time.

The community itself is beautiful; wartime houses from both WWI and WWII dot the hills here with mature maple, oak and lilac trees growing along the sidewalks. There is an influx of younger folks moving in as the older residents pass away or move into old age homes. Schools are close to. Homes are being refurbished, renovated and updated. Empty lots are fast developing into newer homes designed in character with the older existing ones. It’s lovely.Continue reading →