I thought I was moving to Cleveland, OH. Turns out the company I had applied to chose not to even talk with me after first calling me and trying to set up an interview. It’s kind of soul-crushing to have an opportunity come your way, then have it wrenched from you a second later, you know?

It’s damn infuriating.

To top all that off, I had finally gotten an appointment with an endocrinologist on the books to set up getting an estrogen prescription to start HRT (hormone replacement therapy), a needed first step before gender confirmation surgery.

Of course, that fell through, too, because of lack of funds. I have a job where I get paid when the job is done. (I work construction). We do a lot of work with the local school system and they’re notorious for taking weeks at a time after the work is done to pay for said work. As a result, I have to wait sometimes weeks after a job is complete to get my paycheck.

(Someone out there will eventually say, ‘well, be thankful you have a job at all.’ This isn’t even close to the point I am making, so please do not bother saying it).

I need to get paid on a weekly or bi-weekly basis like virtually everyone else on Sol III does.

It’s just damn frustrating to be this close to a lifelong goal of living authentically and then having it ripped from your fingers for lack of money.

8 Responses to Expectations and Reality

Sometimes you have to walk through a field of endless cow patties before things settle in. It’s hard to see the end of the tunnel sometimes, or even the light dangling therein. I hate more than anything the discourteous actions of companies. I’m waiting to hear about a job availability here locally and they haven’t moved an inch. There’s a gal who needs to move upward so that her position can be filled. Hers being the position I want. It’s definitely a two person job and it just appears that they’d rather run her into the ground before deciding “oh hey we need to fill X position and then replace her, too”.

And as a follow up, I just learned that someone else was hired for the job and I never had a chance because I wasn’t pro-active in sending in my resume. I was too concerned with not stepping on toes. 😦

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