Living Between the Worlds

Entries tagged with ringo

hen I first considered the question, i'faith, I thought I would like to know what it is exactly that king_of_goblins or curly_bill, thought about any given thing. Both of them seem to elude my way of thinking for rather obvious reasons. Jareth, because I consider him my friend, and yet there is always something that is held in reserve in our friendship on both sides. Bill, because though I like and honestly care for the man as the best friend of my husband and godfather to our daughter, Caroline, I donnae understand him. Some days I think that Bill would help me in a fix, and others I think he wishes he could strangle the life out of me, if it would not cause any sort of detriment to either John or Caroline. I also thought, too, about wondering how redking_nuada felt about me after all these aeons. By all rights I should have agreed to be Nuada's bound consort for longer than I was, but I had to go my own way. We both knew that.

So at last, I come up on the one person whom I would really like to know what he was thinking - even though most days and at the deepest levels I have convinced myself that I already know. That person would be my husband. Although I am certain that he loves me with the whole of his heart,I want to know why he loathes himself so much, and refuses to forgive himself ever for the wrongs that he has done in life. I want to know why love and understanding cannot penetrate that dark shell that still threatens to overtake him. I know that despair and tragedy have followed on his heels for most of his life, and yet it has been quiet, peaceful and blessed many times over.

Maybe if I were to see it from his point of view I would know why. I would know once and for all why there are things beyond my understanding of Power. There are still things, small things that matter so very much that elude me - even with regard to the one person whom I love more than any other.