Each week Tim “Bo” Ryan and I will recap some of the bigger stories from the lively week in athletics. It’s a completely original idea that we started over 21 months ago. Every time this post appears, Soda Popsinki laughs in your face. As always, please remember to be as irrational as possible when interacting with your fellow TBL commenters.

1. World SeriesTSH — The Cardinals bullpen bleeeeeeeew it last night. We’re finally back to reality so we can bid a fond farewell to Kevin, Gene, Feldman and Vargas. I’m proud to say that Jerry, George, Kramer and Newman are all back in the saddle, and I couldn’t be happier.

CRM — Two one-run games and a 1-1 series. That’s a pretty good start. To blame the Cardinals’ bullpen is to shortchange Ton LaRussa. LaRussa should have let Motte finish the choke job himself or work his way back. This whole “We don’t have a closer” bullshit is just that. Even the greatest closers of all-time have blown a save or two in the World Series. It happens. Now that Motte has failed, do the Cardinals even go back to him?

2. Carson Palmer is Back!TSH — I mentioned this earlier in the week, but poor Carson Palmer was all set to get hammered in South Bend this Saturday night for USC-Notre Dame and now he’s stuck reading a Raiders playbook while occasionally weeping. He must be furious with Jason Campbell. This Raiders-related space also gives me an opportunity to mention Al Davis, who didn’t make the Top 5 last week because there was no Top 5. Al was one of the greatest, most unique characters we will ever see in the sports world. A true Raidah indeed. Everything about Al Davis, both good and bad, will be sorely missed.

CRM — I’ve been told that Palmer will fit right in with the Raiders because he’s familiar with the system and now surrounded by talented players at all the skill positions. My retort is that Palmer is still Carson Palmer and for years Carson Palmer has been less than good. And seriously, two first round picks?

3. Tim Tebow TimeTSH — Tim Tebow is gonna fight! Has Tebow cliched the crap out of you yet? He makes Derek Jeter come across as racily candid. His publicist needs to coach him a little, or slip him a Xanax. Since all the ex-QBs that partake in Sunday afternoon babble like Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason and Terry Bradshaw cannot stand Tebow due to his “fake quarterbackness,” I’m looking forward to him being trashed on Sunday should he deliver the 4-for-11 58 yard special so many are expecting and, frankly, hoping for. Whatever happens, it’s highly possible every seat at Pro Player Stadium will have an ass in it for the first time this season.

CRM — When we learned this week that Tebow was a better quarterback than Aaron Rodgers, it was all but settled that we would be subjected to more Tebow than we had ever Tebowed.

4. NBA LockoutTSH — I’ve gone from not caring at all to hoping the lockout ends simply because NBA writers and fans are becoming increasingly whiny and annoying and, of course, have all the answers that “idiots” like David Stern and Billy Hunter can’t seem to come up with. On that note, I’m putting in a request for Rangers tickets. Hockey? Yes, hockey. I’ve spray-painted my beard black and gone full heel.

CRM — Things seemed to get personal yesterday and it seems like we’re close to getting some more games canceled. This continues to stink. We may have to lock out this subject because there’s nothing else to say except we’re screwed.

5. #NBARankTSH — LeBron James is the best player in the NBA. LeBron James is not the best player in the NBA. These two statements are what we call opinions. If everyone agreed on everything we wouldn’t have an opportunity to call each other clueless assholes and make sarcastic comments about how someone could possibly be so stupid. So please, enough with the dramatics about pointless lists such as this one, you bait-taking dipshits.

CRM — LeBron James is the best player in the NBA. Even if that is not the opinion of everyone who voted. The system was flawed, but it did its job – we talked about it and debated it. Plus, it gave troll columnists everywhere a fresh chance to disparage LeBron while he’s busy working on his post game with Hakeem. Leave LeBron alone!

Comments

Nicely done with Fake Plastic Trees. The Bends has to be my favorite Radiohead album.

http://twitter.com/#!/geoffreyvs geoffreyvs is no longer doing the Tomahawk Chop :(

Halloween costume ideas are on the docket now. I’m thinking about being Rick P-a-rry or the BP Oil Spill. Thoughts?

http://twitter.com/mantis915 phillymantis915

/sees Kate Upton ass
//runs to the bathroom

ms621

CRM — I’ve been told that Palmer will fit right in with the Raiders because he’s familiar with the system and now surrounded by talented players at all the skill positions. My retort is that Palmer is still Carson Palmer and for years Carson Palmer has been less than good. And seriously, two first round picks?

The only person who disagrees with any of this is spencer.

KingGrizz

Halloween costume ideas are on the docket now. I’m thinking about being Rick P-a-rry or the BP Oil Spill. Thoughts?

How could you be the BP Oil spill? Or Rick Perry? I love creative halloween outfits.

jim

Halloween costume ideas are on the docket now. I’m thinking about being Rick P-a-rry or the BP Oil Spill. Thoughts?

Zombie Steve Jobs

http://twitter.com/SouvenirCity SouvenirCity

Soda Popsinki laughs in your face.

That was frightening.

KingGrizz

When Natalie Holloway was first abducted I think I was a Sophomore in college — I thought the best outfit would have been if a girl was “Natalie Holloway.” The outfit required you sitting in your apartment for the entire weekend with no one knowing where you were and when people asked “Where is (female name)” you say “oh she’s Natalie Holloway, we dont know where she is.” I feel badly about it now, but it got alot of laughs at the time.

http://twitter.com/mantis915 phillymantis915

Zombie Steve Jobs

Make sure that you’re ready to go thermonuclear on Google/Android.

http://www.sportsherniablog.com Tim Ryan (TheSportsHernia)

Halloween costume: Tuxedo tshirt, chic jacket, endless arrogance.

It’s hassle free.

http://twitter.com/duaneaz deathleprchaun

The caption for the Upton pic seems like you are apologizing for posting it? Never ever apologize for posting pics of that. You could put that pic in every post for a week and i would still stare at it everytime

ms621

Does that video of Kate Upton walking up and down the runway in slow motion and jiggling still exist? I need it for, uh, research.

johndewar

I’ve gone from not caring at all to hoping the lockout ends simply because NBA writers and fans are becoming increasingly whiny and annoying and, of course, have all the answers that “idiots” like David Stern and Billy Hunter can’t seem to come up with.

I agree with this opinion so much, I might get it embroidered on a pillow.

Please stop it with the “David Stern is an idiot talk”, before you rile up the NHL fans enough to give Gary Bettman back to the NBA.

http://twitter.com/SouvenirCity SouvenirCity

Scarier than the Soda Popinski link was the poll AND the caption for Snooki. Egads man!

http://enjoyorhire.blogspot.com BulletJoeBush

Nicely done with Fake Plastic Trees. The Bends has to be my favorite Radiohead album

was my exercise music just the other day

that chicago bar post was one of the most enjoyable I have read without me commenting in it. so funny throughout

http://twitter.com/#!/geoffreyvs geoffreyvs is no longer doing the Tomahawk Chop :(

How could you be the BP Oil spill? Or Rick Perry? I love creative halloween outfits.

BP Oil Spill: simply get some overalls, get them dirty with oil from your car dipstick, then use permanent marker to draw a big BP on the front of them.

Rick Parry: I think this one isn’t as creative but it’s easier. Dress up as a candidate but then have a card in your front jacket packet that sticks out saying “Hi, I’m Rick Parry and I love cornagraphy” or something to that extent.

Nathan Drake

Anyone dressing up as the Driver from Drive?

http://enjoyorhire.blogspot.com BulletJoeBush

my halloween costume for the past few years has been an orange t-shirt that reads

This is my costume.

because it’s funny and self deprecating. i’ve had some memorable fucking halloweens in full costume. i earned a t-shirt-only costume

I stopped short of going with black face though. That would have been…inappropriate methinks.

http://twitter.com/Diesel25 Diesel

So please, enough with the dramatics about pointless lists such as this one, you bait-taking dipshits.

Splendid commentary

Nathan Drake

Halloween costume: Tuxedo tshirt, chic jacket, endless arrogance.

It’s hassle free.

So you’re not dressing up?

KingGrizz

black face though

Black face is such a tough call — I always advise agaisnt it, but it seems in my experiences that it’s always funny and doesn’t cause problems with the brothers.

sportsdork

Saw Ides of March last night, really liked it. Also, the obvious less trying to be hammered home is people, if you’re some big shot running for office, get snipped. It’s not like you’re having more kids anyway.