So Jason Kottke did something called “research” and looked into the backgrounds of all the scientists at Thursday’s NASA press conference.

This was what he came up with:

So, if I had to guess at what NASA is going to reveal on Thursday, I’d say that they’ve discovered arsenic on Titan and maybe even detected chemical evidence of bacteria utilizing it for photosynthesis (by following the elements).

Then former Wired man and current tech editor at The Atlantic Alexis Madrigal had to go and quash the hopes and dreams of every nerd in America (and the whole world, in fact).

In a media advisory posted earlier today, NASA announced that it will hold the a press conference at 2pm on December 2 “to discuss an astrobiology finding that will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life.” The announcement is likely related to the recent discovery of Oxygen in the atmosphere of Titan, one of Saturn’s moons, by the Cassini-Huygens spacecraft.

And with wording like that, we can only assume that this is a truly major announcement. If it just turns out to be a dud — some non-announcement announcement — I sincerely hope their press release writers will soon be looking for another job.

Every time there’s breaking planetary news, I fear that some mad scientist has pulled a Pluto and demoted my childhood education. I’ll never forget the Styrofoam solar system I made for the science fair in fifth grade. I hand painted each planet, carved some craters, and attached each them to a large coat hanger. Saturn’s rings were made of lime green pipe cleaners. In retrospect, I guess I should’ve made the rings out of ice cubes.