War Eagle Relics goes back to the future

For several months, we’ve had the pleasure of featuring great treasures that our readers have amassed over the course of their Auburn allegiance, everything from bumper stickers to sheet music. For this week, we’re going to take a break from the norm and go scouting ourselves for some future relics. The idea originally came to me to do a post on some of the absolutely horrific Auburn T-shirts that are currently available online, like this…

Then I remembered: I’m no fashion expert—if you want to show your love for Auburn by wearing an angry football playing skeleton in a complexly wrong uniform that doesn’t even look like ours then you go right ahead. So I instead decided to pick out a few items that I found odd or interesting, because, really, who else has time to look through 25 pages of Auburn items on Amazon.

The idea of an Auburn piggy bank is not all that novel, but this one has a certain whimsical charm to it I’ve never seen. If you click the link you’ll find a whole bunch of other schools available, some of which are quite funny (I particularly like the West Virginia coonskin cap wearing pig).

I know nothing about the world of BMX biking and have never watched more than a passing minute of the X Games, but if you’re into that sort of thing and you love Auburn, then I guess this is the jersey for you. The tiger stripes are a bit much, and you can’t get a much larger AU on your chest than that, but the alternate colored cuffs are kind of a nice touch.

I’m going to let Jeremy decide how racy a picture to use with this item, but if he gets all prudish on us you can click the link for a bit more skin (if you must). I’ve seen plenty of Auburn ladies undergarments before (that came out wrong), but they would usually fall under the category of “comfort.” This is for that special moment when you want to let your man know it’s sexy time, but you are still Auburn down to your tiny lace thong… AUrotic, or something.

This is not an Auburn Rubik’s Cube, mind you. That would be a trademark violation. This is merely an Auburn Toy Puzzle Cube that serves the same general purpose of annoying you to no end as you try to reconstruct the various Auburn logos instead of just boring old colors.

I said I wasn’t going to get my judge on with this post, but what the hell is this thing? Did Angry Santa kill that tiger and wear its skin? Who is buying this for $22? The Bama and Georgia gnomes might even be more unsettling than ours, as they feature the actual figurine and not a drawing (and they feature Bama and Georgia, but that goes without saying). And put some pants on, Angry Santa. Disturbing.

That’s all the time we have this week. We will (hopefully) return to our regularly scheduled old stuff next week, but to do so we need you all to keep sending us the goods. Snap a pic and send it to me at [email protected] and we’ll share it with the Auburn loving world. For past editions, click here.

Support TWER

Like this story? You can help keep more like it coming by becoming a TWER patron through Patreon. You'll get free stuff and exclusive content. It's great. You can also support TWER with a secure one-time donation with PayPal.