"We knew the sister-lovin' sheep-fuckin' crowd would break for Hillary," said G. Terry Madonna, professor of public affairs at Franklin & Marshall College. "It should also come as little surprise that anyone who's cracked a book at some point in their lives is all about Obama."

Sunday, April 13, 2008

BEERS...to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for agreeing to take part in the Compassion Forum, an event right in our back yards that will focus on religion. If there's one thing we small-town Central Pennsylvania folk cling to more than our guns it's the baby Jesus, and the lack of mentions said savior has been receiving on the campaign trail has been a sin. Health care, the economy and the war in Iraq only go so far in influencing voting booth choices.

SPEARS...to all of the political candidates -- both Democrat and Republican -- who are choosing to clutter up the ballot by launching races for state House and state Senate. Each and every one of them risks detracting much-needed media-overattention from the presidential race. Apparently, you were out sick the day they taught political etiquette in school -- namely the part about quietly standing on the sidelines while Democracy runs its course in much bigger, more important races. I mean, does the General Assembly even do anything any more? I thought that vote to rescind their pay raises a couple years ago was essentially a vote to disband.

BEERS...to former Cumberland County Commissioner Bruce Barclay for his four years of public service. From the looks of the court papers, Mr. Barclay appears to be poised for a stellar career in the video production business -- even if those aspirations of being a Boy Scout troop leader have suddenly become a bit less attainable. If only commissioner posts were like the Catholic priesthood, Barclay would just be reassigned to another county.