Mobile Friendly

Mrs. Vanquish to the TwiBlogger Rescue!

Twitarded's Fan Box

Facebook Badge

Search This Blog

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Project Tweekend - Totally Cock Blocked. Literally

So ML's band was supposed to go away this past weekend. I have to admit that I was looking forward to a nice quiet weekend. As much as I love ML, there are definitely times when it's kind of... nice to just wander around the house naked without having to fight off any grabby hands. Plus, we finally got blinds so the neighbors stopped gawking and leaving nasty notes in my mailbox.

I was thinking about this weekend all week long. I was meticulous in my planning - lay around in my undies, read Twilight blogs, read fan fiction, possibly dabble in some self-satisfaction after reading said fan fiction, work on my own fic, drink copious amounts of wine without anyone cocking an eyebrow at me and basically just putz around in glorious, wonderful solitude.

How I expected my weekend to go (you can't see the jug of wine because I drank it)

This did not happen.

Late Friday afternoon ML called me to let me know there was a slight change in plans and, as I listened in undisguised horror, I realized that my hot weekend with multiple fanfic Edwards was simply not going to happen. To make the long and short of it ML's band buddies showed up at our house Friday night, only to learn that the shows were canceled.

And they never left.

What my weekend ended up being. Sort of.

Instead of whiling away the hours consuming mass amounts of fan fic, I instead found myself holed upstairs in our TV room watching shitty movies while the band jammed away like insane geniuses for next 48 hours, pausing only for cigarette and booze breaks.

They are lucky they are so awesome or otherwise I'd need help burying the bodies.

ML's band. I'd link to their website but I actually don't want them to know I'm talking shit about them because I'm an asshole like that. But these guys really are fucking great peeps.

At any rate, every time there was a break in the music, I would race downstairs to the Mac and speed-read as much smut as I possibly could, regardless of the fact that there were a bunch of dudes lurking around my living room.

I have no shame.

What I do have, on the other hand, is a good fan fiction recommendation. It's called Irritable Grizzly Adams and I've been sucking up this story like it's the fucking nectar of the gods. I am totally digging Bella in this one, mainly because she's a fuckawesome back-packing scientist with a kick-ass doggy/wolf/beast sidekick named... Jake.

The story takes place five years after Edward left Bella in the forest and she's rebuilt her life far away from Forks, even though she's still haunted by memories of Edward. The writing is absolutely excellent and the author definitely takes her time building up the scenes. There are no lemons yet but there is potential. So definitely check it out. Tell her Jenny Jerkface sent ya and she'll have absolutely no fucking idea what you're talking about.

Hmmmm, I think everywhere I go, I'm just going to say Jenny Jerkface sent me and watch peoples' faces contort into the WTF is she talking about expression, then laugh to myself when they don't get the joke.

Thanks for the FF rec! Hopefully I'll get to it. I have about 30 on Twilighted that I'm reading, and every time one updates I have to go back a chapter because I keep mixing all of them up! Life can be a bitch.

JJ if it makes you feel any better you still get more fanfic reading time in when the band is in your house than I do when my kids are in the house. Just so you know.

Sorry you lost your weekend of solitude. I cherish those rare moments of solitude so much so that it makes me wonder if I am a terrible mother. I like to think those moments make me a better mom...that's the story I am sticking with anyhoo.

Another rec? I am torn between wanting to cry because I will never ever read a real book again to being completely overjoyed that the fanfic goodness just never seems to end. My family thinks I am a computer addict--I try to tell them I am reading novels online...they aren't buying it. Whatever.

Too bad about your weekend. We really should all chip in and get you a laptop and a router. If I was strapped to a desktop all day I couldn't read any smut (but my house might actually get clean).Sounds like ML should be sorry for crashing your solitude and get you a Macbook ;)

OMG can i just say I llluurrve all your blogs!!! I have been on them all weekend! Plus I too am now a fanfic whore! Just got done with CWIA and The List! You cursin crazy awesome twihards rock!! I'll be the first to admit I want my own twilight/rob lover blog too!

RE-POST w/links: I LOVED that fanfic! I also recommend, these two ferociously steamy non-vampire reads. I like the vamp reads but these two are sizzlers and remain true to the base of the characters.

Twice As Long As Yesterday: 1866 Ireland. Isa Swan has agreed to Lord Cullen's proposal: in exchange for allowing her father and her to remain on his estate, she will submit herself to him each night for twice as long as the night before. But how long can she endure him? AH. B&E.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4903087/1/Twice_as_Long_as_Yesterday

A Picture of Dorian Gray:*SAUCY*Eighteen year old innocent Isabella Swan visits the home of Oscar Wilde on her trip to Europe. There she meets a man with a reputation for debauching young innocents, Edward Cullen. Miss Swan is swept into the sordid underbelly of Victorian London.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5355172/28/

AND this one because the story and writing are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Bella is not reunited with Edward but someone else, if you can hang you will see that all may not be what it lays out to be. This writer has a special place in my heart after...http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5188252/1/Beyond_The_Broken_Scars

I can relate. I used to date a pilot and was used to being single so every few days I'd be "Don't you have a flight coming up, honey? Please!?" And I need a laptop too. Hunched over the desk til all hours is killing my shoulder!

Thanks for the rec: I'm sad but a little relieved that several of my reads are coming to a close in the next few chapters. I can justify starting a new one. Or two. Or three.

JJ, I agree, you need a laptop and wifi stat. When we put the family computer in the kitchen so we could monitor the kids' use, little did I know how adversely that would affect my life once I discovered fanfic. I cursed myself for being such a responsible parent. The day I bought my laptop was a very happy one indeed, and now I can secretly read the latest smut while the kids work on their homework. Everybody wins :)

I love my alone time, and am very upset when someone steals it from me. I don't know how people like Mrs. P. who have small children manage to do everything they do. It just seems like an impossible task to me.

@prstlk - I didn't know the Kindle could download Fan Fic - OH NO!! I keep telling the hubby that there is no way he is getting one of those (and I usually don't like too much techno things as it is) but now I am going to want one. I wonder if they have a buy one, get one free deal LOL!!

@Twilove1 - We did the same thing with our computer. It's in the office (aka the packed closet without a door), and everyone can see everything. I'm guilty of reading fanfic with the kids lurking, but if I notice their beady little eyes zeroing in on it, I minimize it faster than you can say Fuck.

@JJ - LMAO! I hope the band cleaned up the Man Cave before they left (meaning that they kicked the beer cans a little closer to the recycle bin).

I've consumed a SICK amount of fanfic in the last few weeks, and so far my favs include Alphabet Weekends and Wide Awake. Do check them out, sorry I don't have links but you can find them with a google search.

Alrighty then. Finally, some peeps are listening about the Kindle and FF downloaders.

I swear to you, I pic out the fic I want, and within about one minute I have the ENTIRE story downloaded onto my Kindle to read at my leisure. It is fuckawesome.

I got mine from some guy in Germany or somewhere at www.home-eisele.de I found out about it on a message board somewhere within the twi universe. And I was nervous as hell but I have a good firewall so I took a leap of faith...

I downloaded to my computer and never looked back. I have had this program on my computer for at least 6 months with NO problems.

It converts a story to a Mobi file in about 30 seconds and then it takes me another 30 seconds to drop the Mobi file into my Kindle.

This alone, makes my Kindle worth every penny. And then it is also nice to have a copy of the story saved if they "disappear" off of FF.net. cough*the office*cough. And before anyone asks..NO, I don't have that one and I am totally PO'd I didn't think to download that one! Grrr...

So yes, DO IT. I swear, if you are like me, once you sucessfully get your first story into your Kindle, you are going to smack your head that you haven't done it sooner and then let out a big muwhahahaha at the road that lies ahead.

Load up that Kindle and you won't need an internet connection to read fan fic on the go...and you won't be reading on a ravioli of a phone screen.

@prstlk: I hear you on the incomplete fanfic recs. This is what I do, when I get a fanfic rec that is incomplete, I bookmark it. Then I just keep checking on them for when they are completed before I even bother anymore. Because I have so many in progress right now I can't even keep them straight. NO MORE!! LOL!!

And then, back to the whole Kindle/FF Downloader topic...then I can just drop the whole completed story into my Kindle.

So thanks JJ for the rec!!! But I am bookmarking Irritable Grizzly Adams but won't read until complete.

I have a trip coming up that I'm saving money for *whispers forks* so I can't invest in a Kindle right now. Does anyone out there have an iPod Touch and, if so, have you successfully uploaded ff to it? *crossing fingers*

@fanficzombie - I'm a total techtard when I ask... can I use the fanfiction downloader program to download fic onto my laptop also? I've been copy/pasting if I want to save to read later. And I kick myself for not saving The Office also!!

@17forever My sister has an ipod touch and she uses Stanza on it for a long time. Found this article about using Stanza, fanfic downloader, and Winebottler to get a nice formatted fic.It's at www.speedofcreativity.orgI'll email the link to you as I can't find the permalink.

@17foreverlisa: I don't know much about the Ipod Touches. Go google, "can I read/download a mobi file to my ipod touch" and see what you find. Then you will probably have your answer. If you can read a mobi file off of it, and you have enough space (and I am totally ignorant on all that) then you should be able to do it I guess. How you would get it onto the Ipod Touch, I don't know...

@Twilove1...when I download it it saves two copies, one Mobi file and one HTML file. I had never tried to go back and open them up on my computer, but I just checked it out. The Mobi one didn't open up right away for me on my computer but the HTML one did. So long story short, Yes to answer your question. I am pretty much a techtard myself...but have floundered my way through in the name of twiporn. Can I hear an amen?? LOL!

@17foreverlisa: another thought..those touches have "Apps" Why not paste into your Twitter..."Will someone make a fanfic.net app for ipods please?" Maybe it will get passed around enough that some techie will make an app that makes ff.net somewhat functional through a phone. We can always dream, right?

@17forever Woohoo, I got fanfic downloader to work on my iphone. I'm using the stanza app on the iphone/itouch and stanza desktop on the PC. So on the PC using fanfic downloader to generate a Mobi book and stanza on the desktop to open it. Then I'm able to share it onto my stanza on the iphone and can read it. I believe if you have a Blackberry or Palm you can just download Mobipocket for free and use that instead of stanza.I had to change my firewall settings to allow sharing between the PC and mobile.Is this too confusing? Do you want me to make a post about it on my blog?

You guys I think I've had enough Twilight and I'm coming down hard. You guys need to start a twelve step recovery site for the Twitarded. Please help me. PLEASE!!!! OK at least think about it. It would be a public service and I'm sure would have commercial value.

Obsessed with Twilight? Think you're too old for this? You've come to the right place!

We are a bunch of over-thirty *cough*andforty*cough* chicks who never really meant to fall in love with Twilight... but somehow we did. Hard. Inexplicably, we've still got a lot to say about it. And other stuff. Join us!