A young man walks into a logging camp on Vancouver Island to apply for a job. The foreman had trouble understanding him and asks about his nationality. The man says he is Welsh and the foreman says: “Oh, so you’re a Wog – well we could use another hand, you can start in the morning.”

The man says: “Thank you, but don’t call me a Wog – I prefer you use my real name.”

The foreman says: “Everybody here has a nickname – a Frenchman we call Jack, the Irishman goes by Paddy. Of course the Scott is called Mac, and some guy from Brooklyn goes by Mick – I think he is Italian. Everybody just calls me Swede, and you can bet they’ll call you Wog whether you like it or not.” The Wog says: “Well, I guess that will be OK.”

The next morning when Swede arrives at the mess hall for breakfast he finds a bunch of guys piled on top of the Wog, beating the hell out of him. He starts pulling them off, one by one, and says:

“Mick, Mac, Paddy, Jack – leave the Wog alone!”

A Norwegian applying for a job is confronted by a reluctant personnel manager who thinks he can just simply outwit the guy. The manager tells him that yes they need someone in shipping, but he will have to pass a math test.

“I try,” says the Norwegian.

For the first test the managers says: “Go to that blackboard over there and inscribe the number nine without using any numerals or words.” The man goes to the board and quickly draws three trees and says: “Dere you are, tree and tree and tree is nine.

Thinking this guy is no dummy the manager went to his next trick and says: “OK, now the next one – change the assignment to ninety-nine, same rules.

The man thinks a bit then draws smudges all over the trees and says: “Dere you are, dirty tree and dirty tree and dirty tree – dat’s ninety nine.

By now the manager was starting to sweat. So, he says: Ok now you have to change the number to one hundred – same rules.

Without a moment’s hesitation the man adds a dog walking away from the trees, and little lump under each tree. He turns to the manager and says: “Dere you are – dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd – dat’s a hundred – ven I start?”

Grandpa used to own a country store in a logging town in Arkansas, and the old people of that time believed that if a pregnant woman was scared by something during her pregnancy, often her baby would look like what scared her.

One day, this lady came in with her infant daughter, who was, as described to me, a very ugly child.

Upon seeing the womans baby, after she left the store, my grandpa commented that that lady must have been scared by a gorilla while she was pregnant.

An old man in the store then chimed in and said, "Scared, Hell! That gorilla caught that woman!

(snip stuff)By now the manager was starting to sweat. So, he says: Ok now you have to change the number to one hundred – same rules.

Without a moment’s hesitation the man adds a dog walking away from the trees, and little lump under each tree. He turns to the manager and says: “Dere you are – dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd – dat’s a hundred – ven I start?”