Being married to a woman was how he hid his eight-year relationship with another man, also a married father. It was a way to survive in Chechnya, a largely Muslim southwestern republic of Russia where gay men are reportedly sent to torture camps and even killed.

For the longest time, gay and lesbian, LGBTQ Americans, lived their full identities at the margins, in the shadows. In the closet. Now, we’ve got gay pride parades all over the country. Big ones. With corporate sponsors and tons of straight people coming out to say hooray. Gay bars too. Popular now for straight bachelorette parties. Some in the LGBTQ community now wonder what’s happening to their singularity. Their identity. This hour On Point: Who owns gay pride? — Tom Ashbrook