I don't know why but today seems like it's gonna be a great day!There's something in the air that makes me feel like things are gonna go my wayThe birds are chirping tweedly-deet, the sun is shining bright!There's a skip in my step, a pip in my pep [Snort] and I don't know why!Hey there mailman friend, any letters from my ex-wife or the kids?NoFantastic news, HaHaHaHa!Wonderful day makes me feel so happy that my face is numb!My heart is racing along barapa pampam!So many places and people to meet, now that I've lost my job!They say "Young man, the world's your oyster"Hey! Hey get the fark off me! No! fark no![Sniffle] Just give me second. [Snort]I don't know why but today seems like it's gonna be a great day!Lalala blah blah blah blah I should spend more time with my kids!It's carpe diem, gotta seize the day, I'm gonna move to Spain and run with the bullsAnd my wife and boss and kids and parents will say "We were wrong about you Dennis"Hey Dennis!That's my name!Are you really gonna run with the bulls?Why would I do that?Cause you said you were gonna!Come on man, that was like three days ago - or was it?Something today makes me feel fine and fancy-freeMuch of the ocean is still unexplored, how did I get up in this tree?Now I'm over here, now I'm over thereNow I'm under this dude, now I'm back in the treeNow I'm hanging out backstage with my very best friends: Alec Baldwin and Tom Petty!Get the fark out of here!What?Now.Tom!Why would they diss me?I thought they were my homies! [Snort]Any problem is solvable, we can feed the hungry and cure diseaseBut all of that would be a huge waste of time because we live in the matrix.[Grunts]What is wrong with him?[Grunts]He's on drugs.Oh.[Spits]

If you want to sniff yourself thin, inhale deeply from any trashcan near the Halifax Ferry terminal on a Friday or Saturday night. You'll lose your appetite plus likely your lunch and supper too./nothin' like the odour of partially digested donairs...