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Monday, July 21, 2008

On the line, baby

As I've mentioned before, the husband loves all things Apple. Recently, this love has manifested itself as a desire for one of the new iPhones. Exercising immense self-control, he did not get an iPhone when they first came out, deciding, wisely, that the next iteration would certainly be better in many ways and would have many of the inevitable kinks worked out. So, by the time this latest iPhone rolled out, he was ready to get one. In the process, he launched a campaign to convince me that I, too, needed an iPhone and we could get a family plan and it would only cost a little more than our current phone services and they have Microsoft word and you can run the web and all kinds of cool apps and you can access my calendar and add things to my calendar and always know where I am and they're just so darn COOL you really really really really need one so let's just got get them, okay? OKAY!

After a while of this, I finally gave in, but, since you have to purchase your iPhone in person, we didn't go on the original launch date with all the waiting in line hoopla because it was a workday, and we have a small baby who doesn't really enjoy the standing in line. Instead, we went the next day and ordered our iPhones to be delivered back to the AT&T store in 7-10 working days. And the husband's rejoicing began, while my trepidation mounted. I was pretty sure my iPhone would either be A, a silly toy for the likes of me, or B, quickly destroyed by the likes of our wee babe.

Time passed. 5 working days, to be exact. And during that time I had some serious second thoughts of a financial nature and decided that, in fact, it made the most sense for me to cancel my order and just get a nice little basic phone I could throw in my bag and/or allow J to chew on with impunity. So I called up AT&T and told them as much, and they said I would have to come in to do all this in person and as long as I got there before it shipped, there was no problem. But, I asked, what if it ships in the meantime? It won't, said the AT&T receptionist blithely. But what if it does? It won't, said the receptionist with annoyance. But WHAT IF IT DOES, I asked a third time, with emphasis. It won't, she said curtly. At which point I reached through the phone and throttled her. Or I hung up. Loudly. And we made plans to go in the next day they were open.

Guess what? Wait for it...it shipped. The same day I called, in fact. Wait, wait, I know, so unexpected, right?? Though, sadly and mysteriously, the husband's iPhone did not arrive, meaning we had to go in to cancel my order and then come back yet a third time to set up our account when his arrived. No matter, we are becoming one with the AT&T store at this point, and they are SUCH lovely people, especially the reception staff!

We went in today to cancel. (On the way, I slipped in the rain on our front step and twisted my ankle. OF COURSE I did!) And Patrick, the handy employee, said we can certainly do all this, cancel your phone, waive the "restocking fee" (you're darn tootin'!), set up service with a no frills phone on a family plan with the husband's iPhone, and here are the costs of all that in writing and plainly explained. Things were looking up! I was heady with glee that this might be a painless process! Huzzah!

And then we hit a snag. You see, no one has ever returned an iPhone at this store, out of the over 200 they have sold, so no one knew how. No one, meaning Patrick, the team of sales people, the managers, the tech support people they called frantically multiple times, the regional helpers, no one. Over an hour later, all we had determined was that my purchase was somehow scanning in such a way to indicate that I paid $400 for my iPhone (I did not) and needed to be charged a $200 restocking fee (HALF the purchase price?? Is Steve-O on crack??), but all that really didn't matter since there was in fact no way to return the blasted thing even at twice the price. Now, I'm no conspiracy theorist, but the fact that even after all the initial hullabaloo with AT&T and Apple sort of botching this launch (speed was glacial, app store crashed, lines long, limited stock, etc.), there now seems to be no way known to return an iPhone is VERY suspicious.

Long story long, we still haven't gotten a credit, the store has the iPhone in their hands, and multiple sources are being consulted about this unfathomable problem even as we speak. And the husband mourns his sad little much wanted iPhone that is somewhere out there in the ether. Thank heavens we don't have to try to return that one!