How To Own The Moment & Ditch Your Fears

Friday, 29 June 2018

Here I am, sitting at my Ikea desk, sipping cold water from my glass water bottle and crossing my legs as I peek out of my window to the sunny filled streets of Toronto below. I can hear cars passing, dogs barking and the soft beat of the music playing from my desktop computer. I can see my plants in my peripheral vision as well as the text that just popped up from a friend asking where we should grab dinner.

I'm thinking tacos.

That right there is my present moment, but in a passing second it will be gone forever. Traced by the following tick of the clock filled with many of the same but also new energies and atmospheres.
And with each following minute of time, our lives flow into an endless stream of present moments that we sometimes become so wrapped up in, we almost forget to notice.

For a moment, let's linger in it.

A lot of the time in life, we are constantly replaying our pasts, looking for reasons and answers or we are anticipating our future, waiting for better times or fearing potential pit falls. I can't explain to you how dumbfounded I am that I used to go days, weeks, even months being so out of tune and unaware of the present moment before me that I missed out on all the synergy and magic it held, awaiting my conscious arrival. All I had to do was tune in.

I used to spend so much of my time feeling low and defeated by who I thought I was. An identification I stuck to my skin, sewn by assumptions and agreements I had fused to from my past. How many nights I lay restless, moments I spent panicking, gasping for air as if I was being chased by the lingering shadows of my fears. When they'd finally catch up to me, nipping at my heels, they would siege my lungs and leave my body shaking in weak fright. Concealing my eyes from shadows that were of my own unconscious making.

It took me a long time to realize that if I were to stop the hamster wheel of my mind, thus slowing the tornado of emotions and thoughts I let set the pace of my life and really took a moment to breathe into the moment that sat right in front of me instead - not only would I be able to let go of the weight that held my mind down in the heavy darker depths of hopelessness and despair, but I would also be able to cute ties from the chains that dragged me through a minefield of bombs I flinched in anticipation of exploding at any given moment - only none of them really ever existing. They were just buried worries in the shapes of grenades.

It's been just over half a year now since I've tried taking on the daily habit of meditation. I thought that just taking a few minutes to get quiet and tune into the moment at hand would be all it took to get me back on my way, checking the next thing of my list of to-do's in a happier state of bliss. While this was mostly true at first - getting quiet enough to catch my irrational fears and thoughts before they grew back bones and sharp teeth, kicking my faith into the dirt - it turned out that as I continued to practice, I started to notice these little pockets of complete peace more often throughout my day. Not just when my palms laid face up and my posture straight as I seated in position.

These moments were made of a sweet simplicity of just being - accepting everything as it was, understanding everything that couldn't be and actually playing witness to my life as it was happening right in front of me and not only in the future or past tense. This ease of breathing into the moment became a kind of magic that once your master it, you'll feel as though you can conquer any and all situations that arrive at your doorstep. Just like frequent exercise leaves you with more energy and skill - when you meditate regularly, you'll build more of a mental capacity to tune into the present moment more often without needing to actually sit down and ommmmm your life away.

So how do we do it?

Where are you?

What do you see, what day is it? What time is it?

Who are you? What’s your name? How old are you?

What are you doing? What are you smelling?

What’s your favourite song right now? What is something you're excited about?

What do you do for work? What are you striving for?

Why do you love today?

Find something in this moment that makes you happy. It can be your yellow mug, the colour of the sky, the outfit you have on, the text you just got from bae saying lets get pizza tonight, the fact that you're reading this on your phone and have the ability to do so, the fact that you can breathe.

The fact that your life is happening right now. Unfolding.An empty canvas ready to be painted.

Each word spoke and action made upon is a stroke of your paint brush. Each decision is a ripple of energy you send out that eventually makes it’s way back to you. Decide to choose and be the change you wish to see in your life.

Where is your attention at right now? What do you need to be doing? What do you want to be doing? Do both of those top #1 things, right now. If you can't, decide now when you will do those things. Make it a concrete agreement in your mind.

Jump up and down, shake out your body, laugh, smile, beam from the inside out.

Now take a deep breath. The curtain just opened, your life is happening now, let’s see your best work.

If the above shooketh you the way it does me anytime I answer it without too much thought, you'll feel the magic I'm talking about. The understanding that this moment is the only thing that truly exists. That all the people, decisions and things asking for your attention are a transfer of energy. You can cut some loose and shower some with love, especially now that you see them with the clear eyes of attention and consciousness.

Here's the thing, your future is unwritten. The past has built your ability to simmer in this moment, only in a few more, this too will no longer exist. So what will you do with it while it's here?

Everything that is happening, is happening in this moment. The pen is too the paper and it’s writing your story, ultimately narrated by the way you think and the things choose to believe about your life and the outside world. Take the pen back in your own hands, believe in your ability to do so and write what you want to see next. Don't worry about perfecting your story as a whole - just write it out, page by page, exactly as you wish to see it unfold. Write what you want to feel. Write what you want to do.

Then go grab yourself a latte and knock it out of the park.

This was a re-write of one of my Coffee Talk podcast episodes, so if you want to hear it instead, here's the link ♡ COFFEE TALK EPISODE 6