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I really love a great story. It doesn't really matter what kind of story as long as it has strong characters and a well developed plot. This love relationship is probably why I have so many books. There is nothing like curling up in a comfy chair and getting lost in the pages of the adventure or drama. I often even catch myself daydreaming...imagining far off places and people. One of the reasons I enjoy people watching so much is because I can make up my versions of their stories. I just finished the bible study Esther by Beth Moore. It definitely took me way longer than 9 weeks...mostly because I didn't have time some weeks to stay caught up but also because I was doing it alone, so there wasn't as much pressure to stay on a schedule. I really liked how Beth Moore ended by talking about the beauty of Esther's story...it has all the elements of any great story: well developed characters, strong plot, action, suspense, conflict, resolution, etc. I knew the story of Esther well before starting the bible study, but the study helped take me to a whole new level. I thought about things that I had never really processed before, and I was able to relate to it and more specifically Queen Esther more than ever before as well. One of the last things that she (Beth Moore) writes before closing is, "One day on the hillside of the New Jerusalem, surrounded by a crowd of glad hearers, the divine Narrator will tell the story of one woman's life. It will not be Esther's. It will not be your teacher's. It will be yours." These words really resounded with me. Maybe you all aren't quite as dorky as I am, but I like to write my own story in my head sometimes. I like to imagine someone doing like a documentary on my life. I think about what they would say, what they would discover, and even how people would respond. This may make me incredibly self-absorbed...if so, I guess here is my confession. But, mostly I do it because it is like a self-check. Am I doing anything that matters or makes a difference? Am I living a life that anyone will even want to remember? Am I living my life in such a way that people will easily be able to see how God is woven in and through every part of my life and story. I hope I am. I hope that my story is a story of hope, a story of promise, a story of grace, a story of faithfulness...and not for my glory but for God's.Last night while I was singing with some of the other precious women of this ministry at our weekly women's meeting, I was really humbled while looking around at their beautiful faces. It is a mixture of the young and old...of the educated and the ones not has fortunate to receive much education...a mixture of humble backgrounds and more grand backgrounds. However, even last night before ever reading those final words of my bible study, I was struck by their stories. Most of them have stories of triumph despite walking through real valleys and experiencing real and deep pains. They have touched tragedy. They know its name well, and yet there they were singing with more joy than I think I have ever known in my life. It isn't to say I haven't known joy or that I am not living with joy even now...but I think because they have seen so much more and experienced so much and had to walk through so much more, they know what it really means to have joy. They know what victory looks like.They humbled me last night...not with their words...not with their looks...not with their beautiful voices...but with their stories and with their faith. I was brought down, and I cried out to God. I confessed that sometimes I fear being that mighty woman that I long to be for Him because it means I will probably have to be pruned more...refined more...sharpened more. All of those things usually hurt. I want to be a strong mighty warrior princess for God but I don't want to have to go through the training to get there.I am not sure if what I am saying is even making sense. I very well could just be writing this for my own benefit. I am putting my rock on the banks of Jordan so to speak as a reminder. But the bottom line is this, we do all have a story. I am sure many of those ladies wouldn't have necessarily chosen some of the parts of their story as I am sure many of the kiddos here wouldn't have chosen many of the parts of theirs either. But, God is still the same God, and He is the in business of redeeming lives. When we allow Him to write our stories, we are opening up our lives to something much more magical and exciting than even the stories we can come up with on our most creative days. They won't necessarily be pain free. But, if we let Him lead, He will bring us a joy that we can't produce on our own. Sorry for my ramblings today...thanks for reading.

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Some bits and bobbits about this blog...

This blog is mostly just ramblings by yours truly. I talk about my ups and downs being a wife, mother, and missionary in Guatemala. I have a tendency to get off on "soapboxes" as those who love me say but it is my desire that this blog can be a place of encouragement in each of your pilgrimages with Christ. At any moment if this blog becomes more about me than about Christ, than it will be done and over...so please help me stay accountable. To God be all the Glory, Honor, and Power!