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Jan, Merry Christmas to you and your family... All your fellow countrymen seem to have moved up to my area of the mountains for the winter... Great people.... Thank you for all your encouraging words this year.

Hi Andy, William's folks sent me a bunch of pictures of Will in his young years.. After three memorials in Aspen, Denver and Boulder I feel I have honored him the way I was brought up. In Boulder on the C U campus the staff planted a s sycamore tree just outside the library were Will worked for 25 years. It will grow to sixty foot tall and span eighty foot years from now. They say it will give the students shade for the next 100 years. So when I am long gone, his memory lives on..

isn't it strange how that is? The loss doesn't go away but the pain isn't as, well, painful. Hard to believe that this would come true back when everyone was first saying it to you, isn't it?

It still makes me mad remembering the people who insinuated that it would all be better or that it would go away with time, because that isn't what happens at all. The grief is still there, you just learn to manage it somewhat so that it's not so all-consuming as those first days of endless tears.

I'm glad to hear that you're learning how to cope. Trust me, you'll be coping with losing Will for a long time, so having these new coping skills and integrating them into being part of your new life is the only way to keep moving forward - as you have already started to do.

I think when we first started talking a year or so ago, I felt I was on a good path.. I now know you are very right in that William will always be there and pop up at a moments notice. I never want to forget but I also want to continue the journey without him being physically present by my side. I just keep showing up and doing the best I know how to do and hopefully, someone special will again step in front of me and I may have or may not, have the opportunity to share my life with someone else equally as important as William was....