Right now

So much to remember, so many memories that risk slipping away from me. And yet, words fail me.

I could write about how happy I am right now. How I have never felt so completely at peace with myself and with my life. There have been hard moments and there will be even harder ones the more time passes. I don’t feel like breaking into song at 3am, when Ivy needs me to hold her upright for an hour or two until she manages to settle again. I certainly do not look forward to late afternoon, when tired children, a fussy baby and dinnertime collide and leave me breathless, running from one end of our flat to the other, trying to keep everyone happy, clean, fed and safe. All this, however, is what makes this time in my life so special.

I know all too well how fast children grow. Maia will be ten in a few weeks. Double digits. So much has happened and changed since she was Ivy’s age and yet, it feels like she was small enough to cradle in my arms only months ago. Here she is now, with legs that are almost as long as mine, an impatience to grow up, and a desk full of homework papers and notes from her friends.

Adding another child to our family has only increased the level of crazy by a couple of notches. So far, going from two to three children hasn’t been as traumatic as I thought it would be. That said, there are many moments when I feel like a juggler worthy of a solo show with Cirque du Soleil. Still, I am soaking every moment I get to spend with my girls. I am very aware of how lucky we are to have been entrusted with not one, not two, but three children.