Hey, LHIA! I don't think long hair on a bar mitzvah would have gone over too well when I had mine in 1971 in Miami Beach, either! (My hair only began to get long several years later, in high school and after.)

This was at a Masorti (Conservative) synagogue. A couple weeks back, my congregation hosted a gathering of the Masorti youth movement from all over the south of the country, and there were a few long-haired teenage males in evidence. I can't speak for the Orthodox, although logic would expect that they demand more conformity.

People who are new to Jewish life - not just here, also in the USA and in Australia - have told me that they were pleasantly surprised about the degree to which we are tolerant and accepting.