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No Children. No Apologies.

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Although one in six women in the United States will probably never have children, according to Census Bureau figures, the numbers do not translate into general acceptance of childlessness. Many of the 75 men and women who attended the Childfree Network's first life-style conference here this weekend agreed with Janine Gudewicz, 41, a school bus driver from New Lenox, Ill. "It's unspoken, but if you don't have children, you are kind of stigmatized," she said. "I don't know of anything that gets the same reaction as when I say I don't have kids."

The network was organized in Sacramento, Calif., in 1991 by Leslie Lafayette, an English teacher and writer, to promote the idea that being childless was "a fulfilling and productive, acceptable alternative to rearing children." Ms. Lafayette, 49, said she began the group because she had found that "you are not considered whole unless you have children."

The network advocates "responsibility" in childbearing decisions; a neutral rather than what it calls a "pronatalist" stance by government, news, entertainment and business organizations, and the availability of adult-only apartment complexes, restaurants and hotels. Ms. Lafayette said the group had about 2,500 members in 35 chapters around the country.

"I hope that the one thing that will come out of this is that being without children is a legitimate life-style choice," said Susan K. Casteel of Azle, Tex., 38, a manager in the financial department of the Burlington Northern Railroad.

Throughout the two days of the conference at the Hacienda Hotel, there was obvious irritation at assumptions by family, friends and even strangers that they had the right to question and comment on something as personal as childbearing. Several participants called it an invasion of privacy.

"People won't ask about your salary or how many times a week you sleep with your partner, but they seem to feel they have every right to ask you about having children," one woman said.

Many participants said they had been accused of being selfish.

But Dr. Gail Ann Thoen, a conference speaker who is an assistant professor of social and behavioral sciences at the University of Minnesota, said, "If it is selfish not to have children, it is equally so to have them for the wrong reasons -- to live your life over again through them, to hold a marriage together, to have someone to care for you in your old age or to try out your own ideas of child rearing."

She added: "It is right, good and natural to want children, for some people. But the urge not to be a parent is just as powerful, just as right and just as natural, for some people."

Most participants said they enjoyed the children of their siblings, relatives and friends, and some mentioned they were active with organizations like the Girl Scouts that focus on young people.

"We aren't against people with children," said Lynda De Leon, a pharmacy technician from Claremont, Calif. "If we choose not to have children, why can't we be left alone?"

According to projections in the October 1993 issue of American Demographics magazine based on 1992 census studies, 7 to 24 percent of women age 18 to 24 will never have children. For women between 35 and 39, the childless rate was forecast at 13 to 15 percent. Other groups of childless adults include Childless by Choice, with headquarters in Leavenworth, Wash., and No Kidding! in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Mrs. De Leon and her husband, Brian, a deputy sheriff in Los Angeles County, are both 29 and have been married six years. They came to the conference to meet other childless couples. Mr. De Leon attributed some of his doubt about parenthood to things he saw in his job. "I realize babies are cute, but you see them grow into teen-agers killing each other and dealing drugs," he said. "I wonder whether, no matter how we raised our children, would the child take the wrong path."

Mrs. De Leon said: "We're not ready for children and we don't seem to have the urge, but we're still waffling. But we've talked to people here who have been married 21 years, have no children and still have a fulfilling marriage."

Patty Forsyth, 42, a postal employee from Yakutat, Alaska, said, "It's exciting to me to know that other women have chosen not to have children." Her husband, Steve, who is with Alaska Airlines, added, "I never wanted children and never thought about them."

Other subjects touched on at the conference included unruly children in restaurants and aircraft; the prevalence of children in advertisements and television programming ("Mad About You" and "Seinfeld" were mentioned as welcome exceptions), and the lack of adult-only housing (a 1988 amendment to the Fair Housing Law states that children must be allowed everywhere except in complexes solely for people over 55).

Although some research has indicated that childless couples are happier than those with children, Dr. Jay Belsky, a professor of human development and family studies at Penn State University, said it was a mistake to conclude that the differences were a result of having children. Unhappy couples without children, he said in a telephone interview, are more likely to divorce than unhappy couples with children.

"Nevertheless," he added, "there is indication that the presence of children accentuates and amplifies the decline in overall marital happiness."

A version of this article appears in print on April 6, 1995, on Page C00012 of the National edition with the headline: No Children. No Apologies. Order Reprints|Today's Paper|Subscribe