The 10 Best Birthday Presents Ever

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ilovemarcandre29, we're pretty sure that a bar of soap would make even Harry Potter grimace, and he once got a toothpick for his b-day.— Sparkitors

We've all gotten those awful birthday presents: the lame kitten sweaters, the bag of underwear, and the occasional wrapped bar of soap (yes, my grandmother gave me soap and no, I don't want to talk about it). We ask for Nintendo DSIs, Wiis, heck, even the entire Harry Potter volume set, but instead we receive a set of steak knives and a box of granola. We don't want to appear ungrateful, so we mask our disappointment behind a smile as we die a little inside. I hate bad presents. If only birthday presents could always be awesome.

Here are the 10 gifts I'd LOVE to receive:

1. Dan Bergstein. 'Nuff said.

2. Ninja lessons.

3. A tour of the SparkNotes office building.

4. An Edward Cullen voodoo doll.

5. A Firebolt.

6. One of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Actually, ALL of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Plus Splinter.

7. My own private pirate ship (complete with Johnny Depp).

8. A 19-year supply of gum.

9. $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (I don't even know how much that is...)

10. A Canadian. Don't ask me why. I'm just obsessed.

What's the best birthday present you've ever gotten? How about the worst?