We tried to keep the cover for MAD #523 a secret, but we just had to leak it out! The #1 issue of the summer features our spoofs of The Hobbit and Storage Wars — plus pieces on catfishing, Kim Kardashian’s delivery and much more! It’s on sale July 23rd — what are you waiting for? Go pick it up! Oh yeah...you’re waiting for July 23rd. Sorry.

2012 was the hottest year in the nation’s history! And while that’s not a surprise to anyone who set foot outside in the last 365 days (excluding that loveable shut-in, John Caldwell), there were several other tip-offs that you might have missed.

The numbers are in, and — wait for it — July was the hottest month ever recorded in the United States! (We weren’t asking you to “wait for it” for dramatic reasons; we just needed to wipe our sweat-drenched foreheads and chug a two-liter bottle of Gatorade “Turquoise Permafrost”!) We did conduct an exhaustive study, however, and discovered the…

Here in New York, local weatherpeople are saying that for the next few days, temperatures will get into the upper nineties, with humidity making it feel more like a brain-melting 105°. Sure, that’s plenty hot — but how hot is it, really?