The Incompatible, Impossible Couple

Introduction: I was watching “Last Love” that amazing movie with Michael Caine and Clémence Poésy for the third time tonight. I had my netbook on my lap to record passages in the movie when the following story simply jumped at me. I don’t see that is has much to do with the movie, except perhaps the ages of the couple, and the fact that “Mr. Morgan” was a college professor, but anyway, here goes.

“Hello, Matthew, I’m glad you decided to meet after all.”

“Hi, Giselle, what made you think I wasn’t going to show up?”

“Oh, maybe your way of showing a complete lack of interest in my doings?”

“I’m sorry, my face is a complete traitor, plus I’m essentially an asocial person, I thought you knew, understood and accepted that about me?”

“I forgot, Matthew. Should we order?” I tried to make my voice hard and cold but I was trembling with fear inside, to the point of feeling sick.

“Yes, certainly. Garçon?” I moved to sit next to him; the meal was beyond excellent. He talked then, and I listened. Had there been company I would have had to do all the talking.

That’s how it was with us. Matthew and his French girl, the incompatible, impossible couple, they called us. His friends from the college where he teaches English and Philosophy all speak English. When they see my name written down, they call me Giselle with a hard “g” as in guide. They make it sound like gazelle. It’s their little joke, they know how to say my name. I like the feeling the name gazelle gives me, it suits me somehow.

We make a strange pair, there’s no denying that. He’s a twice-divorced college professor who’s also over twice my age. I’m a tall, somewhat skinny brunette who’s a landscape artist and arborist. I spend most of my time outdoors, he spends his days teaching and interacting with people and he’s the one who’s asocial. I love people as much as I love plants.

We met on the bus a couple of months ago when I was having my truck serviced and forced to take the day off. I was on my way to my Yoga class and he dropped a couple of books at my feet. Before he could retrieve them I’d picked them up and as I handed them back to him our eyes met. He has piercing blue eyes and very expressive hands. Call me a slut, but suddenly I wanted those hands on my skin. And I wanted his lips on mine. Just like that. I was taken.

“How would you like to come to Yoga class with me?” I asked him. Why? Some things just have no explanation. I wanted, no, needed, him near me.

“You don’t even know my name, I don’t know yours… did you say Yoga class? I’ve never done Yoga; don’t know much about it except what I’ve read. I don’t see the point of it, actually.” He had a pleasant bass voice that filled my heart with instant and deep longing. I wanted to swim in it, naked.

“I’m Giselle. You?”

“Matthew, Matthew Hislop. What’s your last name?”

“Oh, it’s Laliberté. That’s my maiden name, never married.” Then it struck me, why did I volunteer that information? I know, I wanted him, and my woman’s intuition told me to make myself vulnerable, the best way to attract him in case my physical attributes weren’t enough. Did I ask myself if he was married? No. It’s as if I knew he was free, available and could be mine.

It worked. I came to my stop, got off and he followed me.

“Yoga class, Matthew?”

“Yes. Why not? I’m intrigued now.”

We did Yoga together. Two days and I was in his apartment making love with him. I was a twenty two year old virgin. It was as wonderful as it was frightening. I felt so terribly alone and vulnerable and sure of only one thing: I was lost in his maleness. My lust turned to love and in his own way, he began to love me. How could any woman leave such a man?

I learned how. He did not engage. It was as if he was always in two worlds, one that included me, an exciting convenience, a fun thing, a trophy girl, and another that no one would ever be allowed in. I would have left him after that first week but my body would not let me. I could not imagine ever encountering him when he wasn’t mine. I was addicted to him, to his body, to his hands, to his voice and breath. He exuded a kind of brutal magic I was powerless to break.

Which brings me back to our dinner date at Michael’s where I had intended to confront his coldness. It wasn’t going to happen, I already knew before I got there. I was still taken, and I would remain taken unless his coldness became misogynistic. I would never tolerate that, not ever. Somehow, again that intuition, I knew he would never turn on me.

I would live my life with him and take care of him as he got older.

I can imagine cutting his graying hair, trimming his eyebrows and ear hairs. I can imagine even more personal caring. Though he is a much better cook than I, I can also imagine the time when I’ll have to do it for him. By then of course I will have learned to make his favourite dishes. I can imagine my love for him growing in his cold soil. I am that kind of seed that does best in a winter soil. And I have a heart that needs to give. He would fulfill that need for me. With him I can imagine the unimaginable and thrill at the thoughts.

I got lucky, there is no denying that, but perhaps he got even luckier.

Hello, I think you have a beautiful, interesting and intelligent blog
The ‘why love fails’ post and this one too, I enjoyed.
I think that love, falling in love, liking another person so much that then giving each others bodies as a gift, and way of expression. Is the most powerful profound catalyst and thing there is. And one of he things that makes or reality so beautiful.

I think that romantic love, and Higher love, aren’t mutually exclusive. And the energy can actually be the same thing, reinforcing itself creating something magical between two people. But deep liking and respect for the other personand even admiration for them are needed ingredents.

Thanks for your comment, Adam. The subject of “love” is one I have spent many years observing (among people, and within myself) and which I have pondered at length since it’s such a major feeling/emotion among people (Earthians); so powerful that most of the time they fail to reflect on the whole picture, focusing only on the immediate emotion of the thing. I deal in things that work; things that are reliable and sustainable. Love, from my point of view, is highly suspect, and certainly seldom delivers on what its engendered feelings and emotions promise. Love, particularly romantic/erotic “love” is a dangerous aphrodisiac that makes people do things they often regret later in life. Want an energy, a force, to work with, or to guide your love from? Think compassion. If you approach all of life compassionately then you will be in control of your love life and it won’t confuse or take over your feelings. I cannot imagine a more beautiful love relationship, particularly with a lover, that is supported entirely by compassion. You see, compassion is not reciprocal: it is a giving force, never taking from the other, or others. We are designed by “Life” to create without ourselves, as self-empowered beings, to be compassionate. It’s unlike anything else we know in that it does not require feed-back. It gives. It is never jealous. It never loses for it never holds. Love is exclusive whereas compassion is totally inclusive. Not that it matters but yes, I’m single… now; and a “veteran” of three marriages and many “love affairs” a long time ago, and even in-between marriage relationships. I’ve given “love” a great run for its money and traded it in for compassion. Remember that word: compassion. Become compassion and you will know a power few ever know, even less understand. Thanks for following. I’ll take a look at your blog also.

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Hi Sha Tara. It is nice speaking with you. Yes love is an amazing complex subject and profound.
I understand and have always sensed the ‘suspect’ dangerous explosive romantic erotic aspects to love. Which is why, for complex reasosn to go into here. Ive always shied away and felt uncomfortable, even though ive wanted it so much too. Theres nothing wrong with me, I’m not unattractive. I think there must be a Divine reason why I’m 43 now and still haven’t met the love of my life. Maybe Spirit has it all planned shes going to come soon and ive had developmental lessons to learn. Ive not even had girlfriends, ive always been shy with beautiful women. And an equal opposing force, realising the huge commitment it all can be, and not wanting to end up divorced, have been picky. I’m not a virgin though. But I do reflect on why things are this way. And yet I seem to know and feel so deeply inside, love, and how I feel about women.
Your advice on proceeding and navigating from a foundation of ‘compassion’,

I like very much. It feels like a way to engage but have a form of protection and weather the very fierce emotional storms and powerful energies love and romance and sex and eroticism can unleash.
I think putting compassion as how I proceed with love matters, as a sensitive person, is very empowering and sounds wonderful. Ive had many opportunites to ‘have my way’ with womens I haven’t really fancied, but could have had a great time. And I haven’t the heart to go through the motions and then have the bad feeling afterwards knowing its not what I want in my heart.
This is an endless complex topic, the power of love.
Sha Tara interesting name, I’m guessing you have red indian background perhaps, though Tara is Irish isn’t it. I have very interesting replies for you about our reality, and flat earth, and ive had a reply from santos bonacci. I sent you something on Lou blog awaiting moderating but she deleted it. Ill post them after this message.

If you don’t like topics such as that under this thread, please let me know on your blog where I can send you interesting comments of the unfolding explosive white hot developing situation of toroidal universe flat disc we are on!
Adam

Hi again, Adam. Lots of “vanishing” comments on WP lately. I must have lost a half dozen this week, Anyway, thanks for the comment. I will read when time permits and comment back appropriately. I saw your post re: flat earth, on Lou’s blog I’m pretty sure because “flat earth” is something I’m partially in agreement with. Reserving judgment while realizing that for cosmic beings the shape of one little world on one universe really isn’t anything to get twisted about! Stay in touch, and this is a very open-minded blog where almost anything intelligent and constructive, goes.

Comment vanished. Here ot is agaon. No reply needed
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Compassion, yes. Compassion. Perhaps my higher self is communicating to me tonight randomly, its a beautiful thing and they wy forward, and the ONLY way forward.
In September or October, I’m hoping to have a qhht Dolores cannon session , and video it, where insights and questions answered, and clues about what the hells going on
Getting in touch with my higher self. I just hope were all of us, good people, going to be alright. I hope were all going to jump into the new earth dimension, whatever this is. Many bqhht clients are reporting the evolution jump is long overdue, and its going to come by decemober if not earlier.
Sha Tara, beautiful name. Ive discarded so much of the ego, recognising false shells and coats put around myself which aren’t me, in this scam world society. I really have.
The side of me that refuses to budge though, is emotional loving romantic compassionate, deep respect between, kindness, and yes I must admit erotic sexual needs with this person too. To have a wonderful wife where deep love and respect exists and is exchanged and beautiful DNA combining children result. I’m 43 and this has never happened.
I don’t want to goto Spirit being a purely energetic essence, without at least meeting the love of my life in this realm, and having all my (very modest), husband and wife wonderful dreams answered including the wonderfulness that might happen in the bedroom.
It makes me truly sad and and in despair to think ive got to 43 in 2017, and were all going to be removed from physicality.
Surely a new earth exists dimension we can enter, where no evil exists, everythings beautiful, free energy exists, and some physicality and erotic love can still happen between two committed tantric partners?
I’m sorry for the long message. I just sense yo are a really lovely soul and beautiful person
I don’t want a long reply or any reply at all. Just saing hello with this message is enough
Adam