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Guest post by J.D Powell & Associate

Not to be confused with J.D. Power and Associates, J.D. Powell & Associate is my cuz in Iowa and his associate is his new pup, Reuben, a doggy that apparently cuts farts, the smell of which live up to his name. PU! Anyhoo… I got a kick out of a recent email that my cuz sent me and I asked if I could post it here. He said, sure, go for it. Well, he didn’t actually say “Go for it.” That’s kind of lame. But he did say I could post it. So here it is. Enjoy.

John D Powell < powell_john_d@yahoo.com > wrote:

I’m not very politically active. Which is to say, I approach politics like an episode of COPS. It’s interesting to watch someone rant and ramble in coherently while local law enforcement surrounds them for thier own protection. However, being a participant on COPS is not on my list of things to do. If you feel that I’m lazy and apathetic, you may be right. I’m nothing but a bad boy bad boy but what am I gonna do.

Anyway, I’m now going on the record with my endorsement for a candidate for President. Here we go…

I am very drawn to Senator Obama because BARACK is the sound I make when I vomit. So, I feel a drunken hangover sort of kinship with him.

But then, in considering Hillary, CLINTON makes me think of female genitalia and the childhood scarring from ethusiastic 1980’s sex education coupled with the Catholic School death threat doctrine of eternal damnation if I ever put what I learned to actual use. So, you see, me and Hillary have a bond rooted in dysfunction. So, I could vote for Hillary provided her health care plan included unlimited thorozene drips to quell the gregorian chants in my head.

Then I consider John McCain. At first blush I might eliminate him from the list of candidates I would endorse. But McCain has one very important, often overlooked, quality. When viewed from the right angle, he has Marlyn Brando like jowels. If John where to pet a cat and do the famous wedding day requests scene from the Godfather I might consider him. If he will show up at the innauguration with an orange rind over his teeth like Don Corleone in the tomsto patch before he dies and, instead of reciting the oath, growls like a monster, I’d definitely consider McCain. Oh yeah, and if his growls make the chief justice scream like the little boy in the movie, I consider him for a 2nd term.

Now the moment has come. Who will I endorse? Well, given all the facts, I’m sure you’ve guess it. There is only one logical choice. It is my sincere hope, for all our sakes, that the next President of the United States is… THAT’S RIGHT!!!