Just Jane: My ex says I’m her baby’s dad but how can I be certain?

Just Jane: My ex says I’m her baby’s dad but how can I be certain?

LEFT HOLDING THE BABY: But he broke up with his girlfriend 10 months before tot was born

She thrust him towards me saying: “Meet your new son.”

Now she’s insisting the little boy is mine. But I just don’t see how he can be.

She and I broke up a year ago. I calculate that the last time we had sex was 10 months before the baby was born.

She says that not only have I got my dates wrong, but he was very overdue.

She swears that she’s not slept with anyone else for five years and that I’m cruel and mean for daring to doubt her.

Now I’ve got all of her friends and family on my case demanding I “do the right thing”.

Her mum wants to organise a hasty wedding and says I have to pay an immediate sum of £3,000 towards the reception and stuff for the baby.

I don’t begrudge the little fella a penny, because none of this is his fault. But I can’t help feeling I’m being swept along with something that has nothing to do with me.

I mentioned the possibility of DNA testing and her brother threatened to knock my block off if I dared to insult his sister with rubbish like that again.

When I ask my ex why she didn’t even tell me she was pregnant, she says it was because she felt ill and was in denial.

She thought that if she kept the baby a secret, then everything would go away. But now that the little lad is here, I have to face up to my responsibilities.

I feel utterly trapped. I honestly don’t believe that this child is mine.

I suspect she had unprotected sex after we broke up and she’s roping me in because her family are controlling and demanding.

To them, an unmarried mother is the worst sort of creature in the world.

But how is her mistake any of my business?

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People around you are suspicious. If you’ve been warned by friends or family that your partner is cheating, there’s a huge possibility that they are playing away.

JANE SAYS: I urge you to step back and calmly assess this highly emotional situation.

If you believe DNA tests need to be done on this newborn child, then stick to your guns and don’t allow anyone to intimidate you or tell you that you are wicked for wishing to establish the truth.

You know the situation with your ex-girlfriend. You know when you last slept with her.

Now you’ve been presented with this baby boy. But if you don’t honestly believe you’re the father, then you are entitled to say so.

Insist on speaking to your ex on her own. Make it clear that you’re not being horrible, but this just doesn’t feel right and you have to know the truth.

Why didn’t she speak to you earlier? Obviously, if the baby is yours, then you’ll love him and support him and be the best father you possibly can, but at the moment you’re struggling to take this all in.

Is there anything more she can tell you? And can you now work together, as mature adults, to come to the best possible solution for the little one?

Make it clear you’re not trying to evade any responsibility, but you’re not going to be forced into a marriage you don’t want – or be told you’re wicked or mean if you haven’t done anything wrong.