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Friday, December 7, 2012

Your Journey Is Your Journey

I don’t know about you, but I’m from a place where it seems if you’re not married by 21 or on your second kid by 25, then it’s just a known fact you’re doomed & are going to grow old alone with your 15 cats meowing at the screen door. Now, if you are one of those people who finds the love of your life at 21, go ‘head girl, go ‘head, get down. Good for you. Or maybe all you have ever wanted to do is be a mother and raise 15 kids – you know what? Be my guest.

But that’s just not me.

Actually, I had a plan once. Somewhere in this head of mine I devised a plan that I wanted to be married around 22, poppin’ out kids and being done with it no later than the young age 27. In my head at the time, 27 was like the ancient years and your life was over so you may as well raise some babies to give you something to do other than work a 40 hour week and occasionally wash clothes. So at the toddler age of like 21 or so, the only thought I was entertaining was “helllllllllooooooo, let’s get the ball rolling because I am getting ready to graduate college with life figured out and exactly what I want to do with it.” I wanted the white house in North Carolina. The house with the wrap-around porch, and huge backyard so my kids could challenge me and their father in kickball on Sunday afternoons while the sun was setting. I wanted to cook one too many servings of Hamburger Helper and burn the toast for my family of 4 or 5 or maybe even 6. Money grows on trees right? It will be easy balancing a home because I have went and explored this world and whabam! I’m ready to settle down.

“Haha,” says Life.

Actually, Life just kinda stared at me for a good day or so and was like “You, my dear, are a dumbass.”

Dang Life! Way to ease into it, ya know? You didn't even butter me up before bringing me down. Life balled up my plan like a piece of paper and set it on fire. Turns out, Life was right. I literally thought the best years of my life had passed and was completely oblivious to the amazing opportunities that were awaiting on my arrival; things I would’ve missed out on, places I never would’ve traveled, people I never would’ve shared drinks with, crushes that never would’ve given me memories, lessons I never would have learned if that plan hadn’t turned into a crumpled up piece of paper ashes.

24 is not old. HEY EVERYONE WHO THINKS 24 IS OLD: it’s not. There are too many people in this world that have this set in stone plan and if you veer off the path for a second, you’re living life wrong. The whole kickball, sunset, Hamburger Helper picture I just painted: do I want that? Of course, I want that. My wanting of that fairytale has never gone away – the timing of when I wanted it just changed. It changed to when it’s best for it to happen for me. I changed my mind because I realized I used to judge my process of being single, having a boyfriend, getting married and having children on what everyone else was doing. Everyone else in that small little town or everyone else in the big city I currently live in. I don’t know who the love of my life is yet and I’m not going to force it just because half of my Kindergarten class already has. I was wrong. And if you’re doing that too, that’s where you’re wrong.

You have to remember to never compare your journey with someone else’s. Someone else may start out faster than you, or may seem to progress more quickly than you. Maybe you don't ever want to get married or have zero kids. Maybe you want to have 20. Either way, your journey is your journey. It’s not a competition.