Friend: Vovchik hurt by family split

Mar. 1, 2013

Written by

James O’Rourke

Victoria Vovchik was a devoted mother and caring friend who felt isolated while struggling to cope with a number of personal and often-tumultuous relationships, a friend recalled Friday.

“She loved Ava. Ava was her world. If she tried to kill Ava and herself, it was a misguided — probably frantic — attempt to spare them both future suffering,” said Allison Solin, a friend who had known Vovchik since their days at George Washington University more than 20 years ago.

Solin, of White Plains, spoke to Vovchik as recently as two weeks ago and said her friend often had discussed intimate details of her life, including fights she had with Ava’s father, Dr. Kristappa Sangavaram, and arguments that had divided her family.

Solin said a rift between Vovchik and her mother and siblings greatly troubled the 45-year New City woman. The nature of the fight was not perfectly clear.

“She was not speaking to members of her immediate family — or they weren’t speaking to her,” Solin said.

“She would call me crying and say, ‘Family is the most important thing to me, and I don’t feel like I have a family anymore.’ These are her exact words — ‘My heart bleeds for this little girl (Ava) because she doesn’t have a family,” Solin said.

Solin said Vovchik referred to the familial split as a “genocide,” noting that, “they’re all dead to me, now.”

Vovchik’s relationship with Sangavaram also appeared intense, Solin said, adding that Vovchik would express serious sentiments of hurt while fighting with Sangavaram and great feelings of joy when things were going well.

Solin acknowledged that Vovchik overstated her relationship with Sangavaram, claiming the two had been married, but described the couple’s relationship as loving and more than simply a friendship as Sangavaram’s son, Preeth Sangavaram, described it hours after Vovchik killed herself.

“She said he had left his former wife,” Solin said. “A lot of times, when I would speak with her, they were in a fight and he was nowhere to be found. At times, he just wouldn’t take her calls or respond to her, and that would make her extremely anxious and desperate.”

Solin said that despite her difficult relationships, Vovchik seemed upbeat when last they spoke and was making plans to vacation with Ava and Sangavaram.

She also was hoping to take Ava to see “The Lion King” on Broadway.

“You would never have guessed that Victoria was feeling so alone if you met her. She was beautiful, smart, personable and always smiling,” Solin said. “When I think of all the people who may be in a similar situation — living a normal life while hurting inside ...

“I think this would have turned out very differently if she had gotten psychiatric help and gone to someone instead of going through it all alone,” she said.