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The Entire 2.5 Hour Apple Event in 2.5 Minutes

At Apple’s annual fall unveiling session in San Francisco today, it took CEO Tim Cook and his team 2.5 hours to unveil all Apple’s new products: its watches, its tablets, its phones, and its TV boxes. (Apple didn’t say a word about its Macs or OS X.)

You can watch a video of the whole shebang here. But on the premise that maybe you have a life, here, for your entertainment, is a handy cheat sheet on everything you would have learned if you’d been there.

iPad Pro

For $100, you can add a battery-powered stylus (the Apple Pencil) that’s both pressure sensitive and angle-sensitive. In iOS 9’s Notes app, for example, you can sketch with a pencil tool that draws darker if you bear down, and fills in swaths of “graphite” when you rub back and forth with the pen’s tip on its side.

The cap pops off, revealing a Lightning connector, so you can charge the pen right from the iPad. (You can also plug it into a regular USB charger.) There’s nowhere to carry the Pencil, though, except loose in your bag.

There’s even a “straightedge” tool that you can move by twisting two fingers on the glass.

For $170, you can get an iPad Pro cover that folds out into a stand with a very flat, fabric-covered keyboard. Attaches magnetically, needs no battery or Bluetooth pairing. (Very Microsoft Surfacey, actually.)

Fun fact: Screen has 5.6 million pixels—more pixels than on the MacBook Pro with Retina screen.

Upshot: This is Apple’s convertible tablet/laptop—its Microsoft Surface. It’s big enough that you can type on its on-screen keyboard (or play full-sized piano-app keys).

Watch OS 2

The announcement: A new software version for the Apple Watch. Also new watchbands and metal finishes.

Goodies: Software companies can now design their own watch faces, and write apps that live on the watch (instead of the iPhone). Lots of miscellaneous tweaks, like: Turn the knob to scroll through upcoming appointments. Nightstand mode when charging. Reply to email. Multiple Friends screens.

Fun fact: For the very rich, there are new Apple Watch Hermés editions, with fancy bands and watch faces.

When you can get it: September 16, 2015.

Prices: Free for the OS update.

Upshot: The new features fill in holes. If you weren’t interested in an Apple Watch before, you still won’t want one now.

Apple TV

The announcement: A new Apple TV with a new remote.

Goodies: The remote has a trackpad. You can move the “cursor” on your TV, and click to select things. The remote contains a gyroscope and accelerometer, so you can swing it through the air, like a Wii, when playing games involving bats and racquets. You can associate multiple remotes with the same Apple TV, for use with multiplayer games.

It also has a microphone, so you can speak commands to Siri like: “Show me Jennifer Lawence movies”… (and then) “…only the comedies.” “Find family movies from the 80s.” “Skip ahead two minutes.” “Who’s in this movie?”

About the “hands on” session

So far, nobody’s had any real testing time with any of these products—only a carefully supervised hands-on session in San Francisco. In the coming weeks, return to YahooTech.com for full reviews of everything you’ve seen on this cheat sheet.

David Pogue is the founder of Yahoo Tech. On the Web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s poguester@yahoo.com. He welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below.