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I didn’t know what to make of her. I thought she just showed up in places like reality television or Spanish soap operas … pretending to run on the treadmill and then gently dabbing the sweat off her brow. But no…there she was in her pink stretchy pants, matching razor back tank, headband, hat, sunglasses, wristbands, earrings, ponytail, and white running shoes.

Who wears Bedazzled wristbands to run? Who wears accessories to the track? Who paints their nails to match their glimmering eye shadow and running outfit? Who wears make-up to workout in the morning? Who wears a headband and a hat? Who jogs with a G-string? Yeah a G-string. Who does that? Who runs only one lap around the track, stops to take a rest, and drinks from her matching water bottle?

The Outdoor Diva.

I had to do a double take as I witnessed this spectacle jog daintily around the track, stretch her legs, which incidentally exposed her G-String and then walk back to her car. It must have been the G-String. I mean who runs in a G-string, unless you’re hurrying on stage to get a crack at that dancing pole, you shouldn’t be running in that at all. Doesn’t seem like proper workout attire to me.

T-shirt and sweats. T-shirt and shorts. T-shirt and yoga pants. Those are my three outfits. No color accessories with my ensemble, no Bedazzling, and definitely no G-String. Just in my regular proper running attire.