JustFrakkingDoIt posted:

Look at this guy, we talking about hacking the Gibson and he comes in with Gibson the hack. One of the greatest authors of the past 2 decades? Yeah right, the anime club had a vote on best manga and he wasn't even on the list.

R.I.P. Biggie. The police never looked for your killer just like they aren't looking for the lost ventrillo.

Man gently caress this ventrillo bullshit. The gently caress is a ventrillo anyway? I got something way better than any of that poo poo. Yeah, that's right bitches.

I got me a motherfucking phone.

Let me explain this fine rear end motherfucking device to you. The kind of people I talk to, swank rear end fuckers way better than you shitheads, well they got phones too. Whenever I want, I can send this itty bitty thing that's almost as small as your dick called a motherfucking signal. This dope rear end signal reaches their phone, and then they hit a button and WHOA HOLY poo poo

We're loving talking to each other.

Any time, any place, the two of us can get the motherfucking lowdown on how swank rear end each of us are motherfucking doing in our swank rear end motherfucking lives. Your bitch ventrillo bullshit ain't got nothing on this poo poo.

But I don't just have any loving phone. No, I'm the loving KING, I got a phone that loving screams respect out of every single atom of its motherfucking existence. How can I be so sure? Well how about this, bitch? My phone is motherfucking black. That's right, you heard me. The only colour scientifically proven to kick your bitch rear end into the loving dust. Ask any scientist worth his loving salt and they'll say "I made the calculations and black is gonna kick your rear end, because MOTHERFUCKING SCIENCE, BITCH"

But that ain't loving all. This motherfucking phone of mine flips open. If I don't need to use it then it rests there as a sweet rear end black box of raw sexy. But whenever I require its swank rear end services, BAM! I loving open that bitch up and then BAM! Motherfucking buttons. More buttons than the number of dicks your momma's ever taken up the rear end. There's even some motherfucking buttons on the side, and the poo poo they do is like some freaky voodoo poo poo but not actual freaky voodoo poo poo because if actual freaky voodoo poo poo existed then you might have a chance at getting laid and that's never gonna happen.

And guess what? This phone has a motherfucking memory. It's got a memory so loving big it can store a whole motherfucking song. I go out and I say to myself "I wanna hear that motherfucking song" and then I get out my swank phone and I play that motherfucking song. And that's not all it can motherfucking remember. It's got a motherfucking list of everyone in the loving world who owns a loving phone, and I can call them whenever the gently caress I want. If you aren't on that list, you don't loving exist, bitch.