Holy S**t They’ve Emoji Movie’d “Wreck-It Ralph 2”

Just saw the newly-dropped trailer for Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2. It’s The Emoji Movie with better animation and, I would assume, better scripting.

And when I say The Emoji Movie, I mean: with the trip through “Internet Land” with all the product placement brand names (eBay, YouTube Red, Trip Advisor, ad infinitum)…the same goddamn basic layout as Emoji Movie with “The World Of Apps.”

how many brands can YOU name?

And then you have all the demonstrations as to how children can use the apps and the games to have fun…you have all the same quirky personified “Internet stuff” running up to them and telling them funny memes…I just…

Speaking as a person who loved the first Wreck-It Ralph, this trailer is as cynical as fuck. WOW!

I don’t know what site to visit first! Well IMDB *is* the gold standard in terms of movie coverage!

Caveat #1: yes, I know technically the first Wreck-It Ralph also had tons of product placement in terms of video games. But those were, generally, classic video games and were an integral organic part of the actual plot. Whereas this movie seems to have been written around getting in as much brand names—not even “kid” brand names, but flat-out brand names—as possible.

Caveat #2: as much as The Emoji Movie was hated by critics, it was basically a fun colorful movie to keep the kids occupied and certainly will gross more than, say, Annihilation in its cinematic lifetime (because there might not be an actual God). And so Wreck-It Ralph 2 will probably be just as crowd-pleasing, and probably several levels above said Emoji Movie in terms of characterization, plot, animation, and certainly their protagonists.

Look, kids: EBAY! We’re gonna teach ya how to use eBay in this movie so you can buy all your favorite things!

It’s just, as I said: as cynical as fuck, serving the same basic function as Emoji Movie in terms of (admittedly lucrative) product placement.