A woman's husband has become a real couch patato. Whatever she does to get his attention, he just waves off and goes back to watching TV.
One day, she goes inside a pet shop, and sees a very intresting looking bird. When she asks about it, the cashier replies: " It is called a Gooney Bird, and it has a very special talent." He takes the bird out of its cage, and says: "Gooney bird, table." To this, the gooney bird flies over the table, attacks it with its beak, and smashes it into pieces. Then he says: "Gooney bird, shelf!" So the bird flies over to the shelf, attacks it with its beak and smashes it into a million pieces. The woman is very impressed. "Wow," she said. "If this doesn't get my husbands attention, nothing will!" And so she buys the bird and leaves the store.
When she gets home, she tells her husband: " Look honey, I have a surprise for you. It's called a Gooney Bird!" Her husband simply rolls his eyes and says: "Gooney Bird, my foot!"