8 Of The Worst Places To Have Sex (No Matter What Movies Say)

If life were as perfect as a book, TV show or movie, then the possibilities of where you could have sex would be endless. Fictional characters always seem to be getting down and dirty in weird places that seem like they would never work in real life… yet for some reason, these are supposedly popular places to have sex, even though you should never attempt it because these are actually the WORST places to have sex.

I’m all for a little experimentation and switching things up and all that and, truthfully, I’ve hooked up in a few of these places in the past (this is how I know they’re the worst, okay?). It can be great to hook up outside of the bedroom – it’s more exciting and can amp up your sex life a lot. But, I don’t know, maybe try a place that ISN’T any of these places. You’re welcome.

Skip this Ad

Next

ADVERTISEMENT

In The Shower

Why is shower sex such a thing? It's actually the worst. Let's go over why. One: it's slippery. Someone can easily fall and hit their head and get a concussion. Two: It's uncomfortable. How do you have sex while you're both standing up and neither of you can really hold onto everything because everything is wet? Three: Water dries you out down there, causing a lot of friction and actually making it really difficult to have successful sex. I guess that covers it. Shower sex is, basically, the worst.

In A Car

I know that Jack and Rose made car sex look all steamy and romantic and wonderful in the Titanic, but guys, that was a movie. Sex in a car is the most uncomfortable sex ever. Cars are cramped and someone is always going to hit their head or jam their leg or, I don't know, be totally contorted like a crazy person. Also all the windows steam up fast and I know you want to make a sexy handprint like Rose, but you can't, okay? You'll get arrested.

On A Bunk Bed

A lot of college kids have sex on bunk beds because they have no other choice and I feel sorry for them. Once, I slept in my friend's dorm room and I slept on the floor next to the bunk bed because her and this dude were getting frisky on the top bunk. In the middle of things, they literally fell off the top bunk onto the floor, just missing my friend and I. It was... interesting. Practice safe bunk bed sex, guys.

In An Airplane Bathroom

HOW DOES ANYONE DO THIS? I mean, have you guys ever SEEN an airplane bathroom? There is barely space to wash your hands and pee let alone have sex. Every single time I go in an airplane bathroom, I imagine people doing it and every single time, I think, nope.

In Any Bathroom At All

Actually, just don't have sex in bathrooms. They're gross. Do you know what happens in bathrooms? Do I need to remind you? It's not sanitary. Also, trying to do it while your butt is on a cold, hard sink is incredibly uncomfortable.

At The Beach

Does this look appealing to you? I guess it would if you enjoy rolling around in sand while half-naked and returning home to find it in your most private areas. I love the beach but I have no idea why everyone thinks beach sex is romantic. Sure, I guess it's romantic if you like to be exfoliated during sex.

Most Places Outside

While we're at it, most places outside are not made for sex. I know it sounds like I'm ruling everything out, but according to stock photos, a lot of couples have sex in piles of dirty leaves and I'm just not down with that. Bugs, dudes. Bugs.

In A Hot Tub

Having sex in a hot tub is like having sex in the shower, except it's way more hot and the water and chlorine will burn your vagina. You might think it's easier because you can sit but actually you're not sitting - you're sliding around trying to get comfortable like, "uh, wait... ow!... hold on... wait I fell."

All of these places are fine except for probably the Airplane or the top bunk. Trust me the person that made this probaby has never done it in any of those places because they think all those things. People would’nt do it, if it didn’t feel good or was exciting.

ha

A girl at my school broke her leg having sex in the shower. it just made her look stupid once people found out what happened

Kelsey

I’ve done them all except the airplane and a bunk bed. The omly one that wasn’t amazing was the beach for exactly those reasons. But if you put down a blanket it isn’t bad. It’s all about position, and what kind of sex you’re having. Like, raw, rough, fast sex obviously isn’t the only option.

Shandy

I am virgen man and I want to have sex whit woman

Lulu

I’ve had sex outside in the woods to be more specific in the summer time and its not exactly the best situation. Let’s just say the mosquito’s ate me the hell up :/ people were walking back and forth, luckily we were way deep in the woods maybe a few feet from some houses and to top it off I saw a freakin Deer :0 I was enjoying it a little bit but all those things were too much. then she tried to pin me against a tree and finish but i was like nah I’m not feeling this anymore, so we left.

Actually, a few of those places you just have to know how to do it. Like any position in sex, it takes practice if you wish to do it correctly and efficiently. Car sex, it is difficult but not if you know how to do it properly. Not the worst way to have sex though, it’s exciting and fun if you take the time to figure it out. I enjoyed it.
Shower sex is meant for a man that has the strength to pick you up, and only a man that can do so. lol Don’t hate on the guys that can’t, but this is meant for muscle dudes in order to make it appealing.
Beach, eeeeeh that just depends on taste. Personally I didn’t like it, but that was because it was colder than it should be, but the sand did not bother me. If you are swimming in the ocean, you are going to get sand down there anyways lol. Over all, I think the worst places depend on the person, because every position takes time to learn, which means if you take the time to learn these, then they can be fun and exciting. Experience in the areas is key