Concern over religious groups being given "Big Society" projects.

Community groups have raised concerns that big society projects have been given to groups who may not be best suited to running those projects.

The family planning clinic in Northampton is now being run by the Catholic church. Unmarried Julie Dawson, complains that she went in to collect her monthly supply of the contraceptive pill, but was met by a stern faced nun who said "You dirty dirty girl, you shouldn't be thinking of that sort of thing." and gave her thirty hail marys instead of the pills.

The Royal Observatory in Grenwich is now being run by the Church of Scientology who will use the telescopes there to look for Galactic Lord Xenu, and have renamed Grenwich Mean Time as L. Ron Hubbard Mean Time. A spokesperson for the Scientologists said that this would bring great benefits for the area, and added that "Tom Cruise is definitely not gay and we will sue anyone who says otherwise".

A Satanist group in Droitwich have been given control of the local city farm, and will now sacrifice a goat in petting corner every Monday and Wednesday afternoon, Their spokesman George Briggs said that the kids love it, seeing their little smiling faces all smeared in goats blood really makes the whole project and all the hard work seem worthwhile.

Not all groups have been successful in their applications however. The Jehovas Witnesses were refused their application to run the national blood service as their application indicated that they were not entirely commited to the project. Spokesperson Peter Smallwood, said "We have made many applications to run Big Society projects and at every attempt, the door just gets slammed in our faces."