Saturday, January 27, 2007

Naissance

Yesterday was my blog birthday. This blog is one year old.

I know that most people like to call it an anniversary, or a blogiversary, but I really prefer to think of it as a sort of birth. One without the pain and the drugs and the torn-up hoo-hah, but a birthday nonetheless. One year ago yesterday, I created something. I took part of myself and made something of it and thrust it out into the world. I gave something birth. That thing was, is, this blog.

I'm not going to get all cheesy and call it my baby. It's not my baby. This is my baby:

But it is possible to give birth to other things - things, works, states of being - things that are not babies, not even, colloquially, 'our babies' (such a mother, so literal - only a baby can be one's 'baby'), things that are nonetheless much beloved, much treasured, the products of much work.

This is what I said, one year ago. This was the first yell, the first red-cheeked holler that announced new life: welcome to the first day of the rest of my life.My life.

I was referring, specifically, to the day of WonderBaby's birth, the day that I became a mother, the day that my universe changed, the day that I changed, forever. But I might have been referring to the day at hand, the day of the birth of the blog. Because that day was also a day of transformation, a day of fundamental change. It was the day that I decided to tell my stories. It was the day that I became (again? for once and for all?) a writer, because it was the day that I leapt - blindly, happily - into my love of writing and stayed there. Swam there, splashed there, frolicked there. I'm still there - sometimes frolicking, sometimes dog-paddling, sometimes floating on my back, resting tired arms, but still - still - there. (Waterbabywriterbaby. Writerbaby? Uck. Writer, baby.)What I gave birth to: a new (a rediscovered?) part of myself, a new (found?) identity. 'Her Bad Mother' (the name came late, as names often do) is me - me-the-mother, of course, but more fundamentally, me-the-writer.I'm thinking about that a lot these days, about this transformation, this (re?)birth. How do I nurture this work, this thing, this me? I don't quite know how to mother this creation. I'm learning as I go. I'm making mistakes, I think, but I don't mind my errors. I'm learning. I don't know how this work will turn out, but for the moment, that doesn't matter. The joy is in the doing.

And, of course, always, the inspiration... there is joy, so much joy, in celebrating the inspiration, that which gave (who did give) this breath...

best of wishes and major congratulations. i know exactly what you mean, though, about feeling rediscovered as a writer with the blog. it's remarkable, how different my life is now - now that i'm a blogger - than it was before. i'm glad to have enjoyed your blog (though sadly i haven't had my anniversary as a reader yet - couple months to go still), and i'm glad you've been enjoying writing it. :)

(p.s. on thursday, i posted a list of search terms through which people found my site, and i figure you probably didn't see, but one of them was "wonderbaby designs pants." i thought you'd get a kick out of that.)

You have eloquently described the reasons why I started blogging. It's not about having an audience or recording my life--it's all about creativity and the need to create. I think that is what drives all writers more or less.

I'm a very new reader to your blog but have laughed my way through the older posts and have enjoyed reading everything. I've even read some of them to my husband who nods enthusiastically along with me. Keep it up. This is one of my new favourite things - to read your adventures.

Happy happy - we're so glad you started this! Can't believe it's a year (nearly one for me too) and we've met all these neat people and wrote and read so many stories. I hope to see you busting out some balloons and cake again this time next year. I'll be there!

So, first, happy one year creation of something personal and wonderful. It's a pretty grand thing to throw something out there and meet with an echo, an embrace or just a sense of satisfaction.Second,since we all know that each of us has the most beautiful, wonderful, talented and splendiferous child(ren) in the world, I just wanted to take a moment to say: Oh My! Your child is, gulp, truly magnificently beautiful. Really. Wow. Bravo, mama, bravo.