All my life I have wanted to be skinny, however I have never done anything about it. Now I am doing something about it, and it starts by saying no to the cookies!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Where did my "give a shit" go?? And Monday Goals

Since Friday the 20th.... I have not felt very good.. and as a result... I did not really care about anything. I have been super emotional. Depressed. Lots of tears... Lots of whining.. moping.. and not much getting done. As my brother would say.. My give a shit meter was on zero.

On Friday night I was going to go to the gym. Nope. I stayed home and ... well.. I don't even remember what I did. Nothing much.

Saturday morning at 4:45 am my husband leaves to go build a deck with some friends and my dog barfs all over in my bed. ... Like all over. I could not just roll over onto the clean side and pretend it never happens. It was a hot mess. Since I was supposed to get up and go running with two friends I got up and ate some breakfast... However they both had texted me and said they were not going to make it. The path that we run on, is dangerous to run alone. Lots of girls get
raped on that trail... so I can't really go run where I had planned on
going by myself. So its now 5:30 am on a Saturday and I am wide awake. Can't go back to bed... Can't go on the run that I had mentally prepared for.. So I took my dog out for a quick run with me. She thought it was the best thing ever. And yes.. even though she threw up about an hour before.. she was just fine. And adorable. Love that little dog. Here is a picture of us after a quick two mile walk/ jog. (Yeah.. I as going to run 12... but I just could not get up the gumption to go for a run by myself)

After that run.. my day fell apart even more. I spent the next few hours driving all around town looking for something that in the end, I did not need. More people cancelled plans... me and my husband drove for an hour and a half (without AC) to pick something up at a junk yard for his motorbike.. Once we got home we realized that we had grabbed the wrong part. It was just one of those days.. We all have them.. You know what I am talking about.

The horribleness followed me throughout the rest of the weekend and onto Monday. Nothing was going right, I was in a funk and my attitude was horrible. Me and my husband ended up driving back up to the junk yard get the correct part last night. As he is looking around to find what he needs, I go to the gas station to get a drink and a donut. Guess who forgot their wallet at home. I went to get my husbands debit card.. because damn it.. I was going to eat that donut. And I might have had another mental breakdown if that donut did not end up leaving that store with me some time that day.

As I am leaving the gas station for the second time a homeless guys.. who has seen me come to the gas station.. leave and then come back..(The entire time I am pouting) yells at me... . SMILE! aawwww shit. The homeless guy just told me to smile. This is a guy who does not have a house. No food. Would probably kill for shower.. and he is smiling at me and telling me to smile. What is wrong with me. I am such an ungrateful wretch. (And, I don't even have my wallet to give that guy some cash. Heaven knows he deserves it.) I have a place to live, and a car, and a motorcycle, and an awesome husband. A shower, food to eat, a job, enough time and money to work on my hobbies. I am healthy, and I am fit. Really.. Stop being such a diva.

I owe that homeless guys so much. He completely changed my attitude and pulled my out of the funk I was in. I wish there was something that I could give back to him. I am so grateful he was there.

This Saturday is my half marathon. Because of that, I am not going to kill myself at the gym. I am still going to try and make it there every day, and try and run a little every day.. but no killer or amazing goals. I guess my goals shoudl be to get caught up on all of the stuff I have neglected since Friday. Mow the lawn.. Laundry.. things like that. And I want to kill it at my race on Saturday. :)

Have a good day every one.. and remember.. SMILE.

And just for fun... Here is a picture of my hansom husband on the motorcycle that he is building. He has a long ways to go. :)