How old are you now, 12?

That cracked me up, then I said “No, Sir. 22!”My boss rocks.So. Let’s see. Number of times I truly laughed today: 3.

This has got to be one of the lowest birthdays I’ve had in years.Thinking about it, I’ve never had low birthdays. Low Christmasses and New Years a plenty.But birthdays? Rarely.

I almost had one on my 20th. I had just gone from a shoot and was suffering from dysmenorrhea. My shoes were killing me so I bought a pair of Havs and had a Passion Iced Tea and Banana Choclit Cake while I sat alone inside Glorietta 4’s Starbucks branch.

Luckily at that time someone was there to save me. As soon as I saw him, it eased everything away.Then we had lunch at Bubba Gump’s and met up with Ann and Carlo after.My birthdays have never been grand since I turned 8. But somehow today just feels…incomplete.I know this is crass. But I just feel so…alone.

Dammit. Why am I even playing Jack Johnson’s “Cocoon” on repeat.It makes me wish I was in a house overlooking the ocean, and I’m in my knickers, all snuggled up in a long white couch, with glass of wine in hand.Jeez, man…Bad. Bad idea.

It was quite noisy at the office today. So I decided to hide in my bathroom.I just stood there leaning at the door for a minute or two. Waiting for something to come over me. A brilliant thought. A realization or epiphany of some sort.But I got nothing. Zero. My head is as empty as my he… Nevermind.

Happy Birthday to me.Hope you had a good one, Abbie.

That was my original birthday entry that I was supposed to post yesterday. But then again God just knew the perfect time to cheer me up, which was at my time – the end of the day.

My bosses’ driver came rushing to my desk while they were both away, and handed me a long, thin box covered in a metallic silver giftwrapper. I asked him what it was and he jokingly replied saying “Abomb.” Before I could ask him whom it was from, he was too far to hear me and I already noticed a card – I took it out from its envelope, and it read:

“Wishing you a very happy birthday!”

It was signed by my bosses. I hurriedly opened the gift only to find one effing cool scarf from DKNY.

I loved it, but I was a lot more overwhelmed with the fact that they actually thought of giving me something.

Lance sent me a song from Metro Station titled “Shake it”, which I played on repeat na and it got me super hyped. From then my day just got better. I texted Ayah and told her we should get together at one of my bosses’ fine dining restaurants in Tahlia, where we could just lounge and smoke shisha or something. We set it to next week.

As soon as I got home I checked my accounts and saw that my friends have greeted me, saying the most heartwarming things, which was just what I needed.

I was chatting with Lance and Jay again, slowly coming back to how we were before I screwed them over. Thank God.

I decided to take out the scarf from its plastic, removed the tag, folded it into a headband and tied it around my head. I retouched a little, put on some hot pink Shisheido lipstick and I was off.

Ma, Pop and I headed to Jarir. I had to buy supplies for the office. And then I bought myself a new book (Brendon Burchard’s “Life’s Golden Ticket”, was supposed to get Coelho’s “Brida”, but they ran out of stock. Dammit), People Magazine’s July and Vogue Living’s S/S 2008 issue. Oh and how could I forget, that pinoy magazine Ma and I proudly call ”Istar Istodyo”. I’m a sucker for anything that mentions KC Concepcion. It was my first time to buy Vogue’s “Living” edition and it rocks just as much as the magazine does. I gathered new ideas for my room!

And then we headed to T.G.I.Friday’s where I had one of the best-tasting BBQ Ribs EVER.

We vibrated back home at midnight, and I stayed up until 3 AM chatting with Lance and replying to birthday greetings and messages.

My birthdays have never been grand since I turned 8.But as I continue aging another year, it gets grander and grander in such a way that I didn’t have to invite 300 people to celebrate my birth.

Sometimes, it’s the party that happens within you that matters the most.- Me