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The Way My Mind Works

1. I live in a little one-story house with no stairs, but my house sits up off the street so I have a small stairway that leads from the sidewalk to the front door. When I leave my house in the morning and I walk down these stairs, I say silently to myself “One two three four five six seven eight schlemiel, schlamozzle, hassenpfeffer incorporated!” I also then wonder why I do this on stairs, as Laverne and Shirley did that on a flat sidewalk, not on stairs, so why do stairs remind me of this? Next thing you know I will be tossing my gloves in the air instead of my hat while singing “you’re gonna make it after all!”

2. Every time someone is going on a trip on a plane, I think of the time when Bio-Girl was going on a trip and Neighbor J asked her if she was taking any snacks. And then we all said “SNACKS ON A PLANE!” and peed ourselves laughing.

3. There are lots of times where Nordic Boy will ask me a question and the answer won’t really matter much to me. (“What do you want for dinner?” or “What movie do you want to watch?”) I will respond in these situations with “It don’t matter to me.” And he will say back “BREAD! That’s a song by BREAD!” And it’s funny. Every time.

4. You already know about our Markie Mark thing, but I’ll tell you again. If Mark Walberg is ever mentioned in conversation, one of us has to say “FEEL IT! FEEL IT!” like in the beginning of “Good Vibrations.” You would be surprised at how often Mark Wahlberg seems to come up in our house.

5. When people say the words “Saturday Night” to me, I find it difficult not to go all Bay City Rollers and say “S A T-U-R, D-A-Y NIGHT!”

6. I have bamboo in my yard that grows like crazy. We are constantly pruning them back. When I do so, I sing “Me Ol’ Bamboo” from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Mostly silently, but sometimes aloud.

7. Sometimes, when I am at work and in non-cussy mode, and I need have a cuss-worthy moment, I often say “Aw nuts!” Like Michelle Tanner. I say it without the lisp though. I have some pride.

Snacks on a Plaaaane! I’m laughing all over again….and if I am remembering correctly Laverene and Shirley do their little thing after coming down a set of stairs? Is this right? I’m remembering stairs in there somewhere..gonna check YouTube.xoNeighbor

re: #7″poop in a bucket”I had tourette’s at my last job, but the new job is decidedly less casual, and therefore less down with my frequent f-bombs, so I have had to get creative with curse-alternatives of late. the above phrase actually came out of my mouth* last week. I totally came up with it on the fly, and have said it no less than eight times since. which is just unfortunate.*to be clear, I SPOKE the words. actual live poo was nowhere near the mouth. that’s grody. I’m just too tired to think of a better way of saying that.

Well, as long as you promise not to tell anyone 😉 I have a *thing* I do when I’m alone in the office elevators (no not THAT!). Anyway,our elevators have mirrors on both side walls, so, when alone in the elevator, I will hum “New York, New York” or “One” (from “Chorus Line”)and do Rockette style kicks. Since the mirrors reflect off one another, it looks like there’s a million of me doing perfectly synchronized kicks.It’s awesome!

Last night, while watching the Packers game *sob*, my dad and mom both kept saying “Son of a Biscuit!” whenever anything went wrong. You’d think that a football game would warrant a full blown swear or two. Of course, my mother also prayed to God a few times regarding the game so perhaps she felt that another word that starts with b would cancel out the prayer. Also, I love that you love old TV shows too!!! It makes me so much less dorky.

Whenever someone tells me they are sorry they haven’t been in touch, but they have been busy, I remember a business phone call from over 20 years ago, when the customer (from Texas) told me he was sorry he hadn’t called me back, but he’d been “…busier than a one legged kitty trying to bury a turd.”And I’m definitely using “snacks on a plane” myself at some point.