advanced reading copy of ADOPTING GRACE
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attached to who can mirror their feelings. We as parents need to be present in the midst of difficult emotions and learn to tolerate our own discomfort as we work to guide and support. As I became more mindful of such things, the opportunities to respond to my children from a place of healthy attachment continued to roll out before me. **** Though I, as a mom, often feel pressure to be the fixer of all things problematic for my children, it is much healthier if I can take on the role of a reflector. When the temptation to jump in and save my kids from all hardship arises, there is also an invitation to walk alongside and serve as a support and a coach. At one point, one of our daughters was over thinking and really struggling to do a task that was important for her to accomplish. Something that typically takes about one to two minutes to do was literally taking hours because of debilitating anxiety. Walking through this experience together took an emotional toll on her and me. But in reality, this was fertile ground for me to sit still in an uncomfortable place and learn to tolerate both my own and her emotions through this process. It was also instructive for a child who tends to stuff and deny feelings to practice expressing them. I am learning that the more mindful and honest that I am about my feelings, the more I can give the same gift to my children. When I rush to reassure my child when he is in ADOPTING GRACE ADVANCED READING COPY 108