I work in publishing and I like to read things. Herewith: free association on books, nice things I ate, publishing, editing, and other nice things I ate.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

argh pet peeve

Dear Agent,

Is this novel you're pitching me *really* "luminous"?

If it is, I simply don't want to read it. I've had it up to my neck with luminosity.

Is the prose "spare" and "elegant"? Or "achingly beautiful," told "with verve and heart"? Is it a "sweeping" saga of "untold passion"? (Wait, what does that even mean?)

If you have nothing but cliches to put in your query letter, how am I supposed to know there's anything new or different about your client's book? Wouldn't it be more useful to show me, briefly, how it's special?

I'll give your client the benefit of the doubt and read it despite your query letter. But really... luminous?

That's all for today.

Love,

Moonrat

PS any other bad book copy people want to have banned? Perhaps we should create an index.

I cringe whenever I see the words "tour de force" on a book jacket. Personally, I think the book jacket should be nothing more than a plot summary, and I just can't think of too many "tour de forces" in books.

“unimaginable peril” (try me, I can imagine just about everything) “threatening everything she loves” or “threatening the life she has worked so hard to build” (good!), “will change is life forever” or “life-changing experience” Those are some of my pet peeves. I think a list is a damn good idea. I also found it VERY interesting that agents include clichés in their pitch/cover letters, when authors get crucified for doing the same

I'm just reading a book which is touted as "A thrilling and darkly erotic tale of betrayal, passion and redemption, ?? is a rich novel that will ensure the senses with lush prose...(etc)". And I gotta say, it totally lives up to all that!

This one definitely does not suck the big kumara. I guess sometimes you really can judge a book by its jacket, LOL.

Oh, man . . . this blog post AND your responses woke me up better than coffee could!Don't have much to add, except "riveting". To be rivetted to a book sounds painful and a new kind of torture. --Good to know that agents suck at queries, too!

Ha, ha, as an agent assistant trying to write my first marketing pitch, I thank you for your timely letter. I shall keep that in mind. Frankly, I figure I should avoid using adjectives altogether. Obviously you don't need my opinion about the work, since my very sending you the pitch means I think it's pretty kick-ass. A straightforward summary of plot and characters (obviously brilliantly written *casual hair toss*) should do the trick. ...I hope.

Is luminous alright if one of the characters actually glows? ;)

Similarly, I don't want to read in any query that the main character is "battling/struggling with their inner demons" unless they are actually possessed.

This applies more to non-fiction, but I'm tired of seeing mktg copy that promotes a book as "highly readable". I'm almost ready to start pitching books as "Too complex for any human being to understand", just for a change.

"Dark and witty""Dark and realistic""Dark and compelling""Dark and WHATEVER"

Ugh. I'm assuming that the "Dark" being referred to is the conflict the characters must face. Well great! But is it really dark? I mean, what does that even mean? Wouldn't it be nicer if we were told what was so dark about the conflict rather than being dumped with the "well, duh" knowledge that conflict isn't usually luminous?