After further tests, the doctors found the cause of the blood clot. This was a good thing to discover, but it would require surgery and a procedure to restore blood flow. I had Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, a rare find for a 40 year old woman since this typically is a condition young athletes suffer.

My hospital stay ended up totaling an unexpected and rough 9 days. If there was a negative and slight statistical possibility, I had it. I had 4 hour-long procedures in an effort to restore blood flow and reduce swelling when only one was expected to be needed. Following that first procedure, I dreaded being wheeled back to that sterile room to undergo yet again a procedure I knew was going to be uncomfortable. I had a dangerous reaction to morphine, at one point waking up to find a nurse seated at the foot of my bed with a syringe ready because my heart rate had dipped so dangerously low. And the surgery ended up taking five hours instead of three due to a “difficulty” encountered with my anatomy…whatever that means. Instead of shrinking, my arm grew several times its normal size as additional clots continued to form and nerve damage caused my left hand and arm to be numb and useless. I was unable to eat for six days out of the nine because I was continually sick to my stomach and I couldn’t hold anything down.

Emotionally, I was at a low to say the least. I had very little contact with my children due to the extent of my complications and the fact that I was so ill. I missed them terribly. But it would have been frightening for them to see their mother in such a poor state and so we kept them away. I received no visitors except my husband, my parents, and a nurse friend who would not take no for an answer. I could barely talk on the phone, so I allowed calls from my friends to go to voice mail.

Through the pain and the fear and the confusion, how can God be praised? How can I sing of His wonderful acts with this level of physical discomfort? During the worst of it, honestly I admit, I struggled. But God led me to take a baby step forward towards Him as I cried out to Him. He brought to my mind Scriptures I had memorized as a child and I recited in my mind over and over the 23rd Psalm. I still struggled, but it was a step in the right direction.

Tomorrow I will share more of how God held my hand during this time that make me say now, without question, God has shown Himself wonderful in my life. See you then!