Hey im 18 female living with my family, for about two years now i have been feeling very distant with my family i cannot be myself around anyone not even my family, i am the third child with two older siblings and a younger sibling i am not exactly the smartest out of the family, which makes me feel very unwanted as my family joke about my failures they say they dont mean it but they dont know how much it hurts me insdie. i feel like im the black sheep of the family as i just dont blend with them all my siblings have high expectations and goals and then theres me sturggling with a levels and trying to get by each day. I have become so distant that i rarely even talk to them on the daily ... i must admit i am going through a tough time trying to find myself mentally and physically i just feel that its a shame knowing i cant turn to my family for advise as i knnow it will be used against me at some point for example once i poured my eyes out in front of one of my older siblings and told her how i felt the next day we had an argument and she later used my depression against me saying that i was a psycho i cringe thinking about even opening up to them after the experiences ive had its come to a point where i cant even eat dress if front of them ..i feel like no one really understands what im going though.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey im 18 female living with my family, for about two years now i have been feeling very distant with my family i cannot be myself around anyone not even my family, i am the third child with two older siblings and a younger sibling i am not exactly the smartest out of the family, which makes me feel very unwanted as my family joke about my failures they say they dont mean it but they dont know how much it hurts me insdie. i feel like im the black sheep of the family as i just dont blend with them all my siblings have high expectations and goals and then theres me sturggling with a levels and trying to get by each day. I have become so distant that i rarely even talk to them on the daily ... i must admit i am going through a tough time trying to find myself mentally and physically i just feel that its a shame knowing i cant turn to my family for advise as i knnow it will be used against me at some point for example once i poured my eyes out in front of one of my older siblings and told her how i felt the next day we had an argument and she later used my depression against me saying that i was a psycho i cringe thinking about even opening up to them after the experiences ive had its come to a point where i cant even eat dress if front of them ..i feel like no one really understands what im going though.

Awww that's so sad. You shouldn't feel like that, not in your own home. Have you spoke to friends about it and maybe other relatives. You should be able to tell your mum and dad and they would love you no matter what. Everyone's different so comparing you to other siblings isn't ideal. Maybe you should tell them to stop talking about your failures even as a joke as it's not okay with you and you are trying hard so maybe they could appreciate that instead. Maybe try help from outside like counselling of meeting a mentor and as they won't know they'll be open to listening to anything and giving you advise and you won't be afraid of them bringing it up in a bad way. I hope this helped, feel free to pm me if you want any more advise or just to talk 😊X

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey im 18 female living with my family, for about two years now i have been feeling very distant with my family i cannot be myself around anyone not even my family, i am the third child with two older siblings and a younger sibling i am not exactly the smartest out of the family, which makes me feel very unwanted as my family joke about my failures they say they dont mean it but they dont know how much it hurts me insdie. i feel like im the black sheep of the family as i just dont blend with them all my siblings have high expectations and goals and then theres me sturggling with a levels and trying to get by each day. I have become so distant that i rarely even talk to them on the daily ... i must admit i am going through a tough time trying to find myself mentally and physically i just feel that its a shame knowing i cant turn to my family for advise as i knnow it will be used against me at some point for example once i poured my eyes out in front of one of my older siblings and told her how i felt the next day we had an argument and she later used my depression against me saying that i was a psycho i cringe thinking about even opening up to them after the experiences ive had its come to a point where i cant even eat dress if front of them ..i feel like no one really understands what im going though.

Hey *hugs* I'm sorry to hear you're going through all this. Everyone needs support from someone, and for most people that comes from family, so when family don't provide that (and are actually the cause for your problems) then it can get tough.
You should try finding support from outside the family - any friends, aunts, cousins you could talk to? Maybe you could call them to say hello, then end up bit by bit confiding in what you're going through to them, tell them what your family are doing to you and how it's making you feel. You might feel uncomfortable sharing these things with other people, but you need to do it to have support. Other people can sometimes become a 'surrogate' family who can call on you to check you're doing okay and make you feel supported and loved. This will enable you to develop a support structure that will help you in later years.

I went through something similar, so feel free to pm me if you'd like a chat! X