This blog is a place for wives, girlfriends, significant others, and anyone else stuck to a chef to come together and chirp to each other about how to deal with the nonsense that goes along with being the wife of a chef. I was struggling to live with a ghost of a husband who I never saw until I met two other chefs' wives that saved me. It was then that I realized there must be more who need love and support too, right?
Hilary, First Lady Desperate Chefs'Wives
instagram @hilarya25

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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Blog Love

I love this blog, which is really saying that I love you ladies! Thank you so much for being so honest and open in your comments. Talking about babies is actually very personal for me and I don't even discuss it outside of very close friends and family so I guess that says something about how safe I feel 'speaking' through this blog.

BB, I cannot believe how similar I feel to the way you do about children. I have wished for a "mistake" a thousand times. I too fear that without a mistake (baby on my doorstep, .01% that the pill won't work) I will plan my way OUT of having a children. My GYNO warned me about this. I'm such a good planner, too. Maybe it's not such a talent in this case. I keep thinking we don't have enough space and money. I keep questioning my role at the school, when to conceive to make it work for maternity leave. I wonder about Erik's time at work. If Jean Georges is reading this: Can Erik work 12-12 everyday? Maybe if he didn't have those two doubles we'd be able to have a baby.

Talking about this helps a lot. I hope you all are getting something from it as well, too!

4 comments:

Jami B
said...

I was a single Mom when I met my chef. We tried to "plan" on when to start trying....we finally just went for it and I am so glad I did! I can't have any more children and glad I didn't wait too long. You aren't there yet as you are MUCH yonger then I....just saying that a "plan" seemed to be the hardest thing for us to figure out. One thing for sure.... I didn't have family around when my daughter was born and that was hard. I had many family members and friends near (I was back home) when my son was born and that was GREAT!Good luck with YOUR choices! You do it when you want to....not when someone says you should. ;)

That is one of the biggest things that scares me. The couples that I've seen that have made it work somehow have LOTS of family around supporting and helping. It's just me and him here in NYC, and that's simply terrifying, the thought of myself alone at home with a newborn, with no help because we can't afford it because I haven't been working, and....man, I can't even finish the thought, I get so scared.

DCW - First of all, you are ONLY 25, don't do this to yourself. At 25, if someone put a gun to my head and said, "Choose" I would have said no kids. But now, seven years later, I finally want kids, as does my chef. Once this move to NC is complete, we'll see where life takes us.

Don't do this to yourself at such a young age. You have MANY years to make your mind up and don't let your OB/GYN get in your head. They try to do it, but so many women have kids beyond my years.

Enjoy where you are in life. It will all work itself out. I know. I've been there.

Hey,I'm 24 and married to a chef and have a baby on the way.Even as a chefs wife it is the most amazing thing bringing life in to this world it's not about how old you are or your background it's about the support and love you have for each other and that you can give to the new life you create.Yeah there have been times i've been sad because he's not here to feel the first kick or hiccup but we married these chef's knowing they are hardly around but when they are around isn't it the best feeling in the world?! my weekends are not sat and sun they are his days off and every time he's off it's like being on holiday instead of looking at the glass half empty look at it half full the time we have with our husbands is Quality time it's special and i'm glad because i know when my baby's daddy is home his time will be devoted to us not half hearted because I know he wants it to be special too.Go for it if it's right for you both.RG germany

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