One of my former co-workers is going through this with her daughter. She wants her daughter to grow up to be an engineer so she keeps buying her construction toys and refuses to buy anything pink. The daughter, who is five, just wants to dress up like a princess, which her relatives gladly indulge her to the dismay of her mother. Irony is when the girl grows up, she's probably going to have all kinds of negative associations with engineering and a lifelong attraction to the forbidden "girly" items. There are ways to encourage children to be open to different opportunities but using them as proxies in an imaginary gender war is bad for everybody.

I'm just annoyed with the lack of freedom and the fact that people will readily those who don't conform. It's also pretty stupid that people think that color options are governed by some some kind of pre-ordained, immutable law.

it's also OK for your boy to wear pink, have a princess party. WTF does it matter if they're happy with it themselves? It's also OK for girls to like transformers, wear blue and want to play with power tool toys.

The mother's reaction against pink is as much to do with social conditioning as her daughter's wish to wear it.

steamingpile:Oh its slate, who quite possibly have the dumbest writers for their website on the entire internet.

It's not that I'm against pink... An overwhelming amount of ANY color is annoying. I personally like finding girly stuff for my daughter in purples, blues, and yellows because it's variety. Pink is only annoying because SO MUCH girl stuff is pink! We bought a new house last year that had a pink bedroom, so we were excited because it was already decorated for a little girl. But after a month, our daughter asked to have her yellow walls back and decorate it like her room in the last house. Mostly yellow, with sky blue, lilac, and light pink accents. I don't care if she picks pink on her own... It's when there's no other choice that it's annoying.

My older son (6) loves pink, and likes to put little heart stickers on the Lego bridges he engineers and builds. This morning my younger son (4) asked for "the yellow princess doll" for his birthday so he could play with one of his girl friends at preschool since she's not really into running around the playground banging her head into things and smashing Matchbox race cars like he is.

Whatever floats your boats, little guys. Just be creative and have fun.

EngineerAU:One of my former co-workers is going through this with her daughter. She wants her daughter to grow up to be an engineer so she keeps buying her construction toys and refuses to buy anything pink. The daughter, who is five, just wants to dress up like a princess, which her relatives gladly indulge her to the dismay of her mother. Irony is when the girl grows up, she's probably going to have all kinds of negative associations with engineering and a lifelong attraction to the forbidden "girly" items. There are ways to encourage children to be open to different opportunities but using them as proxies in an imaginary gender war is bad for everybody.

I was given lotsa pink, girly things and Barbie dolls when I was a little kid back in the 1960s. I also was given Matchbox & Hot Wheels cars and a Lego set (which my brothers also had). The brothers and I used to hit each other with the Hot Wheels tracks when we weren't racing our cars, and built stuff like stadiums with our Lego sets. Dad took us to lotsa baseball & football games. Result: I still like pink, girly things AND going to baseball and football games.

Lorelle:I was given lotsa pink, girly things and Barbie dolls when I was a little kid back in the 1960s. I also was given Matchbox & Hot Wheels cars and a Lego set (which my brothers also had). The brothers and I used to hit each other with the Hot Wheels tracks when we weren't racing our cars, and built stuff like stadiums with our Lego sets. Dad took us to lotsa baseball & football games. Result: I still like pink, girly things AND going to baseball and football games.

OK, I'm interested in the book but very doubtful that it wasn't *at all* a signifier before the 20th century. There's that passage in "Little Women" where Amy gives the boy/girl twins pink and blue ribbons, in the "French fashion," and in one of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's letters, she mentions her maid decorating a crib in pink ribbons since she was convinced Browning's baby would be a girl (it wasn't, but no word on whether they changed the decorations). I'm not saying pink was *exclusively* female then, but the association did exist.

What's interesting is the duality of the arbitrary color scheme. It's acceptable for women to want to be more like men (by wearing blue, enjoying sports, having a hobby that involves working with one's hands, etc) but not the other way around (wearing lighter colors, looking for careers involving nurturing - like nursing, or not enjoying physical activities). Then he's queer and in need of some serious re-education to be more manly.

FTA:"Why is it any likelier that your daughter is going to end up thinking that a prince will save her than it is that my son will think he should kill bad guys? Why is one of those fantasies considered harmless and the other damaging? "

Ummm, I would consider them both damaging.Not being willing or able to act on your own behalf is a problem.Killing people as a first or best solution to their being "bad" is a problem. (c.f. article on pulling guns on underage water-drinker)

What's interesting is the duality of the arbitrary color scheme. It's acceptable for women to want to be more like men (by wearing blue, enjoying sports, having a hobby that involves working with one's hands, etc) but not the other way around (wearing lighter colors, looking for careers involving nurturing - like nursing, or not enjoying physical activities). Then he's queer and in need of some serious re-education to be more manly.