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I’ve been dating a recently divorced dad for about three months. I want to have at least one kid of my own. As we get closer, I’m getting scared of getting hurt if it ends, so I need to know if he’s open to having more children sooner rather than later. However, I’m stumped because I normally wouldn’t be broaching this at three months. How do I ask about possibly having kids down the road without putting pressure on the present?

Almost ready, Staten Island

This is tricky because a divorce is not exactly a walk in the park. I’m sure the last thing he wants to think about right now is getting remarried, let alone having more kids. If you’re considering making a life with him, however, then questions about marriage and children are necessary. If you’re opening your arms to his kids, he should be open to your needs. While being a stepparent is awesome, it’s just not the same. You’ll never be their mom. And that’s how it should be. You’ll be more like an aunt or a friend. You know you’re ready to be a full parent, and you deserve to have that experience. He is likely to face this with any woman he dates if she doesn’t already have children. Just ask his views on it in a straightforward manner. It doesn’t need to be an intense heart-to-heart. Ask simply, “Do you want to remarry and have more kids one day?” You can add that you understand it’s probably not tops on his list of things to do, but that it’s important to you one day to have children and you want to know if it’s important to him, too.

I’m going to my girlfriend’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving. It’s our first holiday together and I’m excited because I see her in my future. She has an uneasy relationship with her family. I’m not sure if there will be a conflict, but there might be. Do you have any advice on how to handle a potential situation?

Gianni, Upper West Side

Whatever you do, just don’t get into a fight. Relationships between parents, brothers and sisters are complicated. I’m sure you only know 1 percent of their family history. However, given how much you care for her, you should not stand for it if someone disrespects or embarrasses her. If you see or hear something that makes you uncomfortable, politely and gently say that this is making you feel uncomfortable. Then suggest that you and your girlfriend leave and grab a bite in the city. Work out a signal in advance with her that says “enough, let’s go.” You are new to the family. You do not want to start a conflict. If you feel things get heated, then perhaps the best thing to do is to get out before it gets out of hand. You also have the opportunity to add some humor and light-heartedness if it feels appropriate. You’re fresh blood in the group, and that perspective might help ease a tense situation. Good luck!