Location: Somewhere between the Westcoast of the USA and the Eastcost of Japan

Posts: 455

I Know myself pretty good mate

I have about 20 different toughts around in my Head when making Decisions
Primarily Thinking about Consequences, Results, Chances and actual Possiblitys of that Action

Especially in my Longer Textwalls people often find that a Word is missing
or that a Sentence was written half and then formed into another sentence

Which is mostly because I am thinking much faster than I can write and often change the Sentence inside my Head several times before its actually written :P

I am very Self Conscious about this :P
When I analyze myself
I will usually have at least 6 toughts

What do I want to do
What will I try to do
What will I manage to do
How well will I manage to do something
What will I do when I fail
What will happen if I fail

Now each of that Toughts will give me several lines
contradicting or denying each other or supporting the line :P

I can spend hours fighting myself over something when I try to analyze it carefully
because I tend to care for too many viewpoints :P

You should never send me into a Supermarket
I am one of those People who will take Hours because each time I see another Item I will rething my whole Budget and If it might be useful to change my Plans on what to Buy :P

on top theres the question if you will actually do what you decided to do before

Crisis Management
I have been Victim of Robbery 3 Times in my Life
1. Time I Ran away :P
(I wantet to Fight but they were Bigger and made it pretty clever grabbing me up immediatly
so what I wantet to do and what I actually dared to were different :P)

2. Time I fought (and actually got trouble with the Police cause they said I used Volence beyond anything adequate for the Situation because I broke his Elbow and after that his knee even tough he was already not able to fight anymore .... not that I actually tought about that in the situation I wonder what those idiots think how considerate I am when someone attacks me lol )

3. Time I fought and had the other Guy run away in the End (He seems to have lost faith when he lost his knive)

Luckily non of them had a Gun
this might have gotten pretty bad otherwise ^^

In Each case what I actually did was very Different from what I planned to do
Therefore I know to a certain Point who I am :P
I realize the differences between what I will do and what I want to do :P

I never Planned anything for the First case of course
I never imagined this would happen lol

After it happened I planned for it
I planned to act Defensively take my contrahent down and then make a Run for it before he gets up again
But in the actual case I lost my Calm
I didnt feel like waiting for him to actually attack me
the moment he tried to grab me I took the Initiative and Attacked him instead of just Defending myself

But that also means I know how I will react
therefore the next time something like that happens I.ll be better prepared and it will be more likely that I.ll act as I actually want instead of losing my calm about it :P

But yes
in this Case I think I can Match up a Picture of Myself
I am the type to gather Viewpoints
In my Job we were often probed into evaluating our own Abilitys
And I was always matching with the neutral Evaluation of the Foreman

__________________
In the Shadow of the Black Cross. We Fullfill our Duty in your Name.
And Look forward to the Day we Return to your side Silvanos.
Watching over our Comrades as they Fullfill their Duty in your Name.