Author's infos

Introduction:

Breathing hard, moaning as she works her fingers in and out of her slick pussy, listening to her boyfriend fuck their sexy roommate.

This is the first time i've ever written a story, so constructive criticism is more than welcome :)

Ashley and her boyfriend of a year were your average couple. Jake, her boyfriend, had just been laid off work and Ashley was a receptionist at a small dentists office. Struggling to make ends meet they decided to bring in a roommate for a bit of extra cash.

Finally, after a hot and sticky hours long drive through peak hour traffic, Ashley walked through the door of her home, immediately she could feel the cool air from the air con all over her body.

“Babe, I’m home!” She called out to Jack, who’d no doubt be in the shed, or his ‘man cave’ as her boyfriend liked to calle it.
Walking into the living area, Ashley was shocked to see Jack standing there with a gorgeous blonde. Blue eyes, perfect pouty lips, deep natural tan and curves in all the right places. It’s fair to say, Ashley was feeling a little self-conscious standing there in her frumpy blazer and below the knee length skirt. Ashley isn’t ugly, she’s attractive with shoulder length dark brown hair, athletic body and average sized tits.
“Hey baby, Rhiannon came around early.” Jack said, referring to the gorgeous blonde. Our potential roommate.
“Oh, hey.” Ashley smiled at Rhiannon.
“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t realize how quick I’d get here.” Said the gorgeous blonde with a smile, exposing perfect pearly whites.
Ashley forced a smile. “Not at all.” She replied, then excused herself and headed off to the bathroom for a well needed shower.
Peeling her clothes from her own sticky body she couldn’t help but think about Rhiannons. Those huge DD tits, that perfect stomach, the perfect ass leading to her long, perfect legs.
Ashley jumped into the shower, welcoming the cool water streaming down her body. Soaping up, she started thinking about what her potential roommate and boyfriend might be up to with her not in the room. Maybe I interrupted something when I got home, she thought. Oddly, Ashley could feel her pussy respond to these thoughts, sending chills through her body. What the fuck is wrong with me? She scolded herself. Finishing up she rinses off the soap and jumps out.

Feeling refreshed, Ashley walks into the living room to Jake and Rhiannon in deep conversation about cars. Not wanting to feel left out she interrupts;
“Have you two discussed rent and all the rest?” She asks
“Yep, Jake has filled me in and I can comfortably afford it.” Replies Rhiannon
“Oh great, and you know the rooms furnished?”
“Yep, works out well ‘cause I don’t have much furniture.” Answers the blonde.
“Oh good, well if you give Jake and I a few minutes to talk, we should have an answer for you”
“No problem.” Smiles Rhiannon.

Ashly and Jake head to their room.
“So, what’dya think?” Beams Jake
“Well it’s pretty obvious what you think, so if you’re happy and confident she’ll pay rent, then I’m happy.” His girlfriend answers, laughing.
“It’s settled then.” Jake says as they walk out to the living room to tell Rhiannon their decision.

“Oh, awesome,thank you so much!” Rhiannon squeals, bouncing up and down, her tits about to fall out of her tiny black singlet. “I won’t disappoint you guys.”

The three roomies sat down to discuss when she’d move in.
“Well, I’ve only got a few bags and boxes, so if it’s ok with you guys, I’d love to move in tonight!” Rhiannon said, a hint of weary in her voice.
Both Ashley and Jake were fine with this, so Rhiannon left to go pick up her belongings.

Ashley was in the kitchen cooking dinner when Jake came up behind, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“You know how sexy you look when you get all hot and flustered?” He said, with that sexy smile. Jake was tan, with a stocky build, short dark hair and green eyes. Ashley sometimes wondered how she managed to pull him.
“Not near as sexy as Rhiannon I’d guess.” She responded, quickly regretting it when she realized she sounded jealous.
“Babe, you’re way sexier than her, if I knew you felt jealous of her, I wouldn’t have said she could move in.” Jake said, as he kissed her neck, hands rubbing Ashley stomach.
“I’m not jealous!” his girlfriend replied, not all that very convincingly.
“Ok bub, whatever you say.” He laughed.

Sitting down for tea, the three chit chatted, getting to know each other.
“So, what are you guys up to tonight, have much planned?” Asks Rhiannon
The couple looked at each other, “Nothing really, kick about at home, few movies or something, what about you?” Answers Ashley
“Nothing.” Rhiannon says, with a pouty face. “Hey! We should have a few drinks, it being a Friday night and all, can’t let it go to waste.” She adds.

The couple umm’d and ahh’d.
“Oh come on guys, it’d give us a chance to get to know each other better.” Rhiannon said
“what’dya reckon babe?” Jake asks his girlfriend
“I’m keen if you are.” Ashley answers
“YAY!” Squeals Rhiannon bouncing up and down again. Those tits, thought Ashly and Jake.

It was 8pm and the new roomies were sitting on the lounge, drinks in hand, listening to music. Ashley kept catching Jake checking out and flirting with Rhiannon, thinking in his drunken state that his girlfriend wouldn’t notice. By 12am, the three of them were pretty drunk, and all decided hit the sack. Saying goodnight, they went separate ways to their bedroom.

Jake passed out instantly, snoring as he does when he drinks. Ashley was laying awake, fantasizing about catching Jake and Rhiannon fucking. She starts rubbing her tits, squeezing her nipples hard, aching for her boyfriends cock. Suddenly, Jake stops snoring and stirs. Panicking, Ashley pretends to be asleep.
“I need a drink.” Jake mutters, climbing out of bed.

Ashly catches her breath as she hears Rhiannons voice. She sits up to listen.

“Yeah, I get the dries too when I’ve been drinking.” Rhiannon says
“So what are you doin up, isn’t it past your bed time miss?” Jake teases
“I don’t have a bed time.” She giggles. “I just couldn’t sleep, it’s too hot.”
You’re too hot, Jake thought, taking her in, the baggy white tee she was wearing, it was obvious she wasn’t wearing a bra, her nipples poking out hard through her tee. Her long, bare tanned legs, leading up to her g-string clad ass.
Jake could feel his cock growing hard, pressing against his boxers. Oh shit, he thought, praying she wont notice, he begins to stutter excuses to leave.

“its ok jake,I don’t mind, I’m actually flattered.” She assures him with a sexy grin on her face.
“ I don’t know what you mean.’ He stammers, knowing full well she’s referring to the very obvious, rock hard cock, standing to attention.
“Jake, we’re both adults. It’s ok, really, I could even help you with that.” Rhiannon says, biting her lip and glancing down at his member now trying to break through his satin boxers.
Holy fuck, thought jake

Holy fuck, Ashley thinks to herself, is this really about to happen? Feeling mixed emotions. Nervous. Excited. And fucking horny. Not sure if she’s ok with some gorgeous blonde fucking her man. She knows she shouldn’t be ok with this, she should march her ass into that kitchen and tell this bitch where to go. But she isn’t, instead she’s sliding her fingers over her dripping wet slit, wanting her boyfriend to turn this sexy blonde down, but praying he bends her over and makes her scream.

What the fuck is wrong with me, Ashley asks herself

Jake hasn’t said a word. He’s just stood there staring at this hot chick, leaning on the counter in his kitchen.
Rhiannon slowly turns around, her back facing Jake, and slowly pulls down her pantys, stopping at just below her ass, turning her head around and seductively biting her lips, then drops them completely. The black string hitting the floor.
“Please Jake, come fuck me. I wont tell if you wont.” She says quietly, bending over the counter.
At this point, Jake can’t take it anymore, thoughts of his sleeping girlfriend dropped with this sexy sluts panties. He walks towards her, dropping his boxers, he turns her around and forces her on her knees.

“Oh Jake, it’s so big, you taste so good.” Ashley hears her roommate moan, letting out a quiet moan herself while one hands groping at her tits and the other exploring her sopping wet pussy.
“ohhh god, fuck yes.” Jake moans. Hearing this almost instantly makes Ashley explode.
“You like that baby, how about you fuck my tight pussy now.” The blonde says
Yes! thinks Ashley, fuck her!

Immediately, Jake grabs the blonde by the hair, pulling her up and sitting her on the bench. He pulls off her tee, ‘fuck me,’ he thinks, taking in those huge DD titties, perfect hard nipples, he then takes one into his mouth, Rhiannon lets out a slight moan. He starts to kiss his way down,then Spreading her legs wide, exposing her pink, wet pussy. He starts lapping at her, taking in the slight tang of her pussy juice. He then puts in his fingers, licking her clit and fucking her with his fingers. “Jake, I’m going to cum, just fuck me.” Jake then stops, pulls her off and bends her over the counter.
Rhiannon moans as he teases her, his cock rubbing the entrance to her pussy now dripping with her juices.
“I want you inside me now!” Rhiannon demands, not being able to stand it anymore.
Jake slams his cock inside her, a sharp gasp coming from both their mouths.
“Oh yes, fuck me hard Jake.” She moans.
Jake starts pounding her, the slapping of their bodies echoing in the large kitchen her DD tits bouncing.

By this time, Ashley has worked her pussy to near breaking point, her fingers and thighs sticky and wet. Breathing hard, moaning as she works her fingers in and out of her slick pussy, listening to her boyfriend fuck their sexy roommate.

“oh god yes, fuck me like a slut.” Rhiannon moans as Jake slams her from behind, pulling her hair back and getting an amazing view of that perfect ass.
Their bodies in a frenzy, fucking hard and fast, none of them thinking to be quiet, Rhiannon screams “I want to feel your big load inside me!” with that, she feels Jakes release, the twitch of his hard cock, her pussy filling up with his warm liquid, setting her over the edge, she begins to buck and grind, riding it out till her pussy is satisfied.

“fuck yes.” Jake sighs satisfied.

“fuck yes,” whispers Ashley as her breathing slowly starts to ease up after bringing herself to orgasm.

What happens next? How does Ashley feel after? Does Jake confess? Part 2 coming

I gave the story a positive rating and I hope you will write more, BUT:

1. Writing in the past tense generally will make a more readable story, as "She ran to her room," rather than "She runs to her room."

2. There are many errors in capitalization, many of your sentences begin with a lower case letter. Also, the first word after a bit of dialogue should not be capitalized, unless it is a proper noun. ("No," he said. instead of "No," He says.)

3. Every paragraph (which can even be a single word) should be followed by a blank line. Your line feeds seem to be pretty much random, with several paragraphs with no separation, followed by random breaks sometimes of more than one line.