YOUNG SHAWN: Yep. (sees a desert tray on the counter) Can I have the fudge cake?

HENRY: Close your eyes.

YOUNG SHAWN: Dad! I don’t wanna-

HENRY: (interrupts) Now.

YOUNG SHAWN sighs. HENRY stares him down. YOUNG SHAWN sighs once more, this time in defeat and then raises his hands to his head. He places his fingers to his temples and closes his eyes.

HENRY: Which letter is out in the EXIT sign?

YOUNG SHAWN: The “X”.

HENRY: What color is the vinyl?

YOUNG SHAWN: What’s vinyl?

HENRY: It’s the stuff these seats are covered in.

YOUNG SHAWN: Purple.

HENRY: Maroon. Close enough. Manager’s name?

YOUNG SHAWN: Who?

HENRY: She’s wearing a nametag. The woman standing by the front door when we first walked in. You saw her.

[A flashback is shown of when YOUNG SHAWN walked into the diner. It shows YOUNG SHAWN automatically taking in all of his surroundings, including the manager and her nametag.]

YOUNG SHAWN: Marie. Can I have the cake now?

HENRY: (leans forward) How many hats?

YOUNG SHAWN: (sighs, frustrated) Come on, Dad!

HENRY: Shawn, you want a piece of cake? How many hats are in the room?

**several hats are worn in the diner**

YOUNG SHAWN: Does a beanie count?

HENRY: What do you think?

YOUNG SHAWN: (thinking hard) Three.

HENRY: You didn’t describe them.

YOUNG SHAWN: That’s not fair!

HENRY: Time’s almost up, Shawn.

[Waitress walks up.]

YOUNG SHAWN: (pointing to each hat, eyes still closed) One has a flower, the one the woman’s wearing. One has a picture of some kind of a lion on the weird guy with the crooked tooth. The last one is on the chef.

HENRY: What about the beanie?

YOUNG SHAWN: A beanie is a cap, not a hat.

HENRY: All right. Open your eyes.

[YOUNG SHAWN opens his eyes and drops his hands.]

YOUNG SHAWN:(whispers) Thank you!

WAITRESS: Wow. That’s amazing.

[YOUNG SHAWN looks proud, smiles.]

HENRY: It’s adequate.

[YOUNG SHAWN’s face falls, smile gone.]

HENRY:(to waitress) Get him his cake.

WAITRESS: I guess I know what you’re gonna be when you grow up.

YOUNG SHAWN: Oh, I’m never going to grow up, ma’am.

[YOUNG SHAWN smiles and the scene CROSS DISSOLVES to an older SHAWN and a WOMAN stumbling through a dark apartment, kissing]

TEXT OVER SCENE: 2006 …still Santa Barbara

[SHAWN sets a helmet he is carrying on the kitchen counter, still kissing the WOMAN. The WOMAN pauses in the kissing to push SHAWN’s long-sleeve shirt off, he still has a black t-shirt on.]

WOMAN: (breathless) Nice place.

[They begin kissing again. SHAWN is pushed backwards into the back of the couch. He puts a hand down to steady himself and hits the TV remote. The TV turns on. It distracts him and he breaks off the kiss. The WOMAN pulls him back and they kiss again. They maneuver around the couch. The WOMAN pushes the SHAWN onto the couch. She takes her hair out of a ponytail, letting her hair fall loose. The TV stays on in the background, playing the local news]

WOMAN: I knew you were going to be my best table.

[The WOMAN pretty much jumps onto SHAWN’s lap and they kiss again, getting more serious. The news being reported distracts SHAWN again and he begins to watch while the WOMAN continues to kiss him.]

NEWS REPORTER: …Joe, do the police have any leads at this time?

JOE: We’re at a loss. We really don’t know what else to do.

**JOE is fiddling with something in his hands**

JOE: It’s been a tough few weeks. We’ve basically run out of ideas. Hopefully, the police will be able to crack this one for us.

NEWS REPORTER: Closing the books on The Visions break-ins could be just the olive branch needed to set things in the right direction…

[SHAWN reaches across for the phone.]

WOMAN: What are you doing?

SHAWN: I’m calling the police.

WOMAN: Any particular reason?

SHAWN: I think I just closed a case.

WOMAN: You didn’t tell me you were a cop.

SHAWN: No, no, no. Definitely not a cop. Does that disappoint you?

WOMAN: I just thought you may have… handcuffs.

SHAWN: Oh, I have handcuffs. …Hello?

OFFICER #1: Santa Barbara Police Department.

SHAWN: Uh, it’s the store manager. He did it.

OFFICER #1: Pardon me?

[the WOMAN begins kissing SHAWN again]

SHAWN: Uh, the stereo robberies? At The Visions chain store. He’s on Channel 8 News, right now. Uh, his hands. Nervous tick. Dead giveaway. And he won’t look the reporter in the eyes.

OFFICER #1: And your name is?

SHAWN: My name? My name is Shawn Spencer.

OFFICER #1: And is there anything else to add?

SHAWN: Nope. That’s gonna do it.

**license plate of the van on TV**

SHAWN: Actually, the tags on the News van are expired, but that’s completely unrelated.

[SHAWN is shown driving up on his motorcycle. He gets off and takes his helmet off. He walks up to the Santa Barbara Police Dept. doors.]

[SHAWN walks into the station and then goes up to OFFICER #1]

SHAWN: Hello, officer.

[OFFICER #1 is too busy talking on the phone to acknowledge SHAWN]

**several spiritual items hang around her desk**

SHAWN: Hi. …I’m Shawn Spencer.

[OFFICER #1 points to the seating behind SHAWN]

SHAWN: Oh… Oh. No, no. That’s not for me. Uh, I’m here for a commendation. I called in a-

[OFFICER #1 again points to the seating behind SHAWN]

SHAWN: -tip. (sighs) Here’s the thing, these are new pants.

[OFFICER #1 once again points to the seating behind SHAWN]

SHAWN: Clearly, you feel very strongly about this. Right.

[SHAWN goes and sits down on the bench along side a BIKER looking man that is in restraints. Meanwhile, SHAWN has been overhearing OFFICER #1’s conversation on the phone. Next, SHAWN starts observing the BIKER man beside him. He points out the “Bloodthirsty” tattoo on the man’s forehead]

SHAWN: Get out of here. You know, I have the same tattoo. They spelt “Bloodthirsty” wrong on mine. Can you believe it?

[The BIKER looking man tries to lunge at SHAWN, but he is handcuffed to the bench and can’t reach him. SHAWN obviously noticed this before he started antagonizing the man]

SHAWN: I cannot believe you didn’t test that out first. (?)

[a door adjacent to SHAWN opens]

**OFFICER #2 is in front of a copy machine, swaying slightly side to side and mumbling “1-2-3, 1-2-3, …”**

[the door shuts and SHAWN chuckles at what he saw]

**red plastic on the BIKER’s sleeve**

SHAWN: What did you do? Bust up your ex-wife’s car?

BIKER: (shocked) Her new boyfriend’s.

SHAWN: That’ll teach her.

BIKER: (secretively) They got no witnesses.

SHAWN: Sweet. …Might want to brush the shards of taillight off your sleeve.

[the BIKER looks at his sleeve]

SHAWN: Just a tip.

BIKER: Gee, thanks guy. (he begins to brush off his sleeve)

SHAWN: Sure.

**taillight shards fall into the BIKER’s shoe**

[SHAWN starts to say something, then shakes his head]

[SCENE]

OFFICER #2: Right this way, Mr. Spencer.

[He leads SHAWN down a hallway toward a door, which is opened by a JR DETECTIVE]

[Shawn is now in an Interrogation room with the JR DETECTIVE and a SR DETECTIVE]

SR DETECTIVE: Why don’t you let us ask the questions for a while?

SHAWN: Okay.

[SHAWN sits at the table, as does the JR DETECTIVE opposite him. SR DETECTIVE stays on his feet]

**SR DETECTIVE touches JR DETECTIVE’s hair as he walks by**

SHAWN: So, which questions might those be?

SR DETECTIVE: Oh, I don’t know. Like… Where were you the night of the last robbery?

SHAWN: I was robbing a stereo shop. … (laughs) I wasn’t. …Eh-hem. I don’t know. I guess I was doing the same thing you were doing… not solving crime.

SR DETECTIVE: You’re not helping your case here.

SHAWN: My case? …W-w-wait. I’m actually a suspect?

SR DETECTIVE: Oh, you’re our lead suspect.

SHAWN: I gave you the guy.

SR DETECTIVE: He had a partner.

SHAWN: Wh- I have to find that guy? I’m confused. When do you start chipping in?

SR DETECTIVE: Your information was good. So good, it could only have come from the inside.

SHAWN: Inside of what? …Look, I’ve called in dozens of tips. Okay? Just check it out.

SR DETECTIVE: I did. I checked out a whole lot of stuff. Like… (opens folder on table and sits down) Oh! You’re currently unemployed. Never held a job for more than six months. And, you have a criminal record.

SHAWN: I was eighteen.

SR DETECTIVE: Eighteen? Oh, well that makes it okay. Let me just scratch this out.

SHAWN: I borrowed a car-

SR DETECTIVE: You stole a car.

SHAWN: -to impress a girl.

JR DETECTIVE: Look, forgive us Mr. Spencer if this seems farfetched.

SHAWN: Would it help at all if I told you that she had a bit of a reputation and that I was “O” for… high school? …Okay, fine. There were extenuating circumstances. The arresting officer was my father. He was trying to teach me a lesson.

SR DETECTIVE: Did ya learn it?

SHAWN: I learned I hated my father. So, sure.

SR DETECTIVE: Well, pardon me if I’m just a little skeptical. Believable as it is that you solved all these crimes while watching- I’m sorry, what was it? Watching the local Channel 8 News reports.

SHAWN: Oh, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the new butt cream had come in. So, you’re not interested in hearing about doing the thing we’ve been dreaming about doing since we were eight?

[GUS glances at him]

SHAWN: I’ve got us the last job we will ever need.

GUS: (laughs) Shawn, you’ve had 57 jobs since we left high school.

SHAWN: Yes, I have. And they were all fun, but this one takes the cake.

GUS: Oh, yeah? Better than your acupuncture clinic?

SHAWN: (looks upward) I didn’t realize experience was necessary.

GUS: What about the summer you spent driving the Weiner-mobile?

SHAWN: I did that for the hot dogs. Look Gus, all those jobs I took because I wanted the experience. Then I mastered it and moved on, but this job has a little bit of everything.

[SHAWN steps forward, extending his hand]

SHAWN: Come with me.

GUS: Uh, no. I’m never doing anything blind with you again. I learned that at the Mexican border. Twice.

SHAWN: Okay. This is hard to explain, but I’m gonna give it a shot. You and I are opening our own private detective agency.

GUS: Oh. See? No explanation necessary. Let me get my coat.

[GUS goes back to working on his computer]

SHAWN: But you’re not getting your coat.

GUS: Uh, no. No, Shawn. I’m not.

SHAWN: All right. You wanna sweat the details? Fine. The cops think I’m a psychic and now we are investigating a kidnapping.

GUS: You’re serious?

SHAWN: Yes! I am serious! Six days ago, Camden McCallum, Jr.-sole male heir to McCallum Textiles-was seen being forced into his Range Rover at the municiple dog park. No one has seen him or the dog since.

GUS: They took the dog?

SHAWN: You see what I mean? I need you. I need you to… write stuff down, ‘cause you know how I zone out when other people talk.

GUS: Just for today?

SHAWN: Just for today. Oh, and you know what? You should bring your sample case, because of some of those forensics guys.

GUS: Whoa. There’s going to be forensics guys there? (he smiles)

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS are driving through Santa Barbara, GUS at the wheel]

SHAWN: All right, pay attention. Eighteen months ago Camden McCallum ran his father’s cigarette boat into the Moro Bay aquarium. That was right after he got caught with that hockey player’s wife.

GUS: Yeah, I remember that.

SHAWN: The guy hadn’t been out of the papers in five years. Since that day? Nothing. Not so much as a dented motorcycle.

GUS: Okay. What do you think?

SHAWN: I think Camden McCallum was too good at what he does to stop. Not gold turkey, anyway. Beautiful women, fast cars… It doesn’t add up. Something happened.

[SCENE]

[They have arrived at the McCallum estate. GUS grabs his case from the trunk of his car and they walk toward the house]

SHAWN: Gus, everything you need is right in front of you. You just have to pay attention.

GUS: Oh, yeah?

SHAWN: Look at this. Berenson’s brand. That is the highest quality dog food on the market.

GUS: Perfect. They pamper their pets. The case is almost solved.

SHAWN: This stuff is really expensive. No additives, no preservatives… Why would you possibly open three bags simultaneously when you only have one dog?

GUS: They’re rich. They waste money.

SHAWN: (looking through trash again) Oh, my god.

GUS: What?

SHAWN: This CD case is totally nice! Why would someone throw this out? Here. Put this in the car. (hands GUS the case)

GUS: (throws the case back in the trash) Inside. Now. (he walks away)

SHAWN: (takes case back out of the trash, then follows GUS) Is it entirely too early for me to have a theory?

GUS: Can you at least wait until we see some evidence?

SHAWN: I suppose I could if it would make you happier.

[SCENE]

[Interior of the McCallum house]

SHAWN: Whoa. (looks around at the vast home) Just act natural.

[They walk into the living room. All the cops pause and look at them, then go back to what they were doing. GUS grabs SHAWN and pulls him from the room]

GUS: They know.

SHAWN: How could they know?

GUS: They know.

SHAWN: We haven’t said anything yet.

GUS: They know. I can feel it.

SHAWN: Oh. You’re a psychic now, too?

GUS: You’re not a psychic.

SHAWN: Gus, let’s just be clear on one thing. The only way they can absolutely prove that I am not a psychic is if I tell them. And I can guarantee you that is the one thing I will never do. (sees something behind GUS) Ooh! Check this out.

[SHAWN walks to another room]

GUS: You got a lead? (he follows SHAWN)

SHAWN: No. Look at this girl. (stops before a wall of family photos) She must be the sister. God, she’s incredible.

GUS: We kinda have a few other things going on right now, Shawn.

SHAWN: Oh, Gus. Look. Look how she went from this awkward stage with this really unfortunate perm, to this beautiful amazing girl.

[GUS starts breathing deeply]

SHAWN: So she’s a late bloomer. What does that mean? That means depth of character. (notices another picture) Gus, she kayaks. (he finally notices GUS’s breathing) What are you? Lamaze breathing?

GUS: It helps. I cover a few birthing centers.

SHAWN: Just let me know when the contractions are two minutes apart.

**picture of her at a reading table, a pile of books beside her, Kurt Vonnegut is the author of them all**

SHAWN: She reads Vonnegut. Wow.

**picture of her in an airman’s cap**

SHAWN: She is an aviatrix. Gus, I bet this girl is spectacular.

WOMAN: Really?

[GUS and SHAWN spin around to see a WOMAN standing on the stairs]

WOMAN: I’m Katerina McCallum.

SHAWN: I’m thoroughly embarrassed.

KATERINA: I bet you are.

SHAWN: I’m sorry. I’m Shawn Spencer. The chief called me in.

[SHAWN takes her hand to shake it, then pauses and looks thoughtful]

SHAWN: Everything is going to be okay.

KATERINA: (looks at him for a moment) Thank you for saying that. I have the same feeling. What makes you think so?

SHAWN: Nothing too serious. That’s good. That’s very good. I think that’s it for now. I’ll be in touch.

[KATERINA smiles at him and walks away]

GUS: How do you look into all these women all the time?

SHAWN: Gus, please. I am a professional gathering information.

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS are looking through a photo album]

GUS: What are we looking for?

SHAWN: Pictures of that Katerina girl. Preferably at the beach. Maybe on her way to yoga. Or a Halloween party dressed as a cat. What are those for?

[GUS is trying to pop some pills out of a packet]

GUS: It’s for anxiety.

SHAWN: Is it ethical to sample your own samples?

JR DETECTIVE: Mr. Spencer? The sketch artist is here for you.

SHAWN: The sketch artist?

JR DETECTIVE: The chief insisted.

SHAWN: Interim chief.

JR DETECTIVE: Yeah. You call her that. (she walks away)

SHAWN: I’ll be right back.

[SCENE]

[A sketch artist is shading a picture of a man]

SHAWN: Oh, yeah. That’s nice… with the shading… the shading’s nice. Uh, here’s a question. Do you think you could have him looking further to the left? Like his eye line further to the left?

[GUS walks in]

GUS: Shawn.

SHAWN: Yeah?

GUS: Can I talk to you for a second?

SHAWN: Yeah, yeah. Uh, so just more to the left and I think we’re there.

[SHAWN goes and stands next to GUS]

SHAWN: What’s up?

GUS: What are you doing?

SHAWN: Just work with me.

GUS: Tell them you’re blocked or something.

SHAWN: I’m gonna have to use that later. Uh, how are we looking over there?

[the sketch artist holds up the sketch]

SHAWN: Aw, that’s great. Look how good that is.

[GUS notices a picture sitting behind the sketch artist. The man in the picture appears exactly like the man in the sketch]

SHAWN: See how he’s looking off to the left like he sees something? Now, as far as the hair goes, can we get the bangs whispier? Like he’s trying to compensate that he’s thinning in the back? And he’s sorta-

[WOMAN suddenly screams after seeing the sketch]

WOMAN: It’s Bill!

[SHAWN looks surprised, then he notices the picture behind the sketch artist and figures out what he subconsciously did. He scrambles to fix his mistake]

SHAWN: Bill is not the kidnapper, not the kidnapper. Bill is just a horrible human being. Who is Bill? I’m getting, ah… multiple women. Is he a bigamist? A pimp? Does he sell children on the black market? What?

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS exit the house. MR. McCALLUM is just arriving]

SHAWN: Mr. McCallum? I’m Shawn Spencer, the psychic.

MR. McCALLUM: Well, thank you for coming. If there’s anything I can do…

SHAWN: I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you, sir.

MR. McCALLUM: Nothing can prepare you for something like this, knowing you can’t do anything. (pauses) Call me anytime with any questions.

SHAWN: Uh, actually I do have one question, sir. How did he feel about the dog?

MR. McCALLUM: Well, he loved that damn thing. Didn’t do anything without it.

SHAWN: Yep. That’ll do it. Thank you, sir.

[MR. McCALLUM enters the house. SHAWN and GUS turn to leave]

GUS: Does he like his dog? That’s how you investigate?

SHAWN: I think we’re making progress.

GUS: Since you’ve been here all you’ve done is dig in the trash, hit on the victim’s sister, and falsely accuse her boyfriend.

SHAWN: Gus, he’s not her boyfriend. She made a point to say they were free to see other people.

GUS: Whatever you say, Shawn. Have a blast. I quit.

SHAWN: You can’t quit, we just got started.

GUS: Watch me.

[GUS puts his case in the car and opens the driver door]

SHAWN: Gus, you’re gonna miss everything!

[GUS ignores SHAWN]

SHAWN: It’s gonna be fun!

[GUS starts the car]

SHAWN: Gus, get back here!

[GUS buckles his seatbelt and backs out of the drive]

SHAWN: Fine. I’ll solve this case by myself.

[FADE OUT]

[SCENE]

[FADE IN]

[a digital clock reads 6:07 am as the camera pans down to reveal GUS asleep in bed. The sound of a door opening and shutting wakes GUS and he hears someone moving around his apartment. He sits up in bed and then scrambles to the hallway. He sneaks around and then grabs the case he had taken to the McCallum estate, intending to use it as his weapon. He creeps up to his kitchen doorway and then lunges through it]

GUS: Ahhhhh!

[SHAWN looks calmly at his friend, continuing to pour a cup of coffee. GUS deflates, lowering the case he had poised to strike]

SHAWN: Gus… I hate to imagine what the rest of your plan was.

GUS: How did you get in?

SHAWN: (holds up a fake rock with a key inside of it) Far less effective on a second floor landing.

GUS: What do you want, Shawn?

SHAWN: Can I say something about the case, please?

GUS: No.

SHAWN: I was right.

GUS: I’m done, Shawn. I don’t want to commit felonies and perjury and pretend to be-

SHAWN: You are dying to know who kidnapped him. I know you are.

GUS: No. No, I’m not. ‘Cause I don’t believe that you could solve a crime the cops can’t by simply walking through a house.

SHAWN: Fine.

GUS: Fine.

[GUS grabs his case and walks out of the room. SHAWN returns to his coffee and waits. GUS walks back into the kitchen. SHAWN smiles]

GUS: All right. Whatever. Who kidnapped him?

SHAWN: Nobody.

GUS: Nobody. Excellent. Call the chief at home, tell her the crime is solved, because apparently we just imagined the whole thing.

SHAWN: Gus, nobody kidnapped him because he did it himself.

[GUS just looks at him. SHAWN motions to the kitchen table. They go and sit at it]

SHAWN: C’mon. See for yourself. Okay, here’s the thing. Camden didn’t offer to clean up his act voluntarily. Oh, no. Daddy threatened to cut him off. Permanently. It was about eighteen months ago.

GUS: Eighteen months?

SHAWN: Wait, there’s more. He had help.

GUS: Who?

SHAWN: (gesturing to a photo on the table) This guy, on the end. Malcom Orso. The only member of this crew that didn’t go on to fame or fortune… or rehab.

GUS: The cops must have talked to him.

SHAWN: Nope. Malcom hasn’t been seen with Camden for quite some time. To be exact…

GUS: Eighteen months.

SHAWN: Almost to the day. Gus, he has been planning this thing for over a year.

GUS: Shawn, this is good.

SHAWN: Yeah.

GUS: (referring to picture) Where did you get this?

SHAWN: Katerina McCallum’s room.

GUS: You didn’t go in her room!

SHAWN: Gus, I needed a ride. She hadn’t eaten yet. One thing led to another and we ended up sharing a milkshake-

GUS: Whoa, wait a second! You’re dating her?

SHAWN: No, not dating.

GUS: Yes, you are.

SHAWN: It’s not exclusive. (GUS looks away, annoyed) What? Gus, c’mon. Put some clothes on. This is gonna be fun. (claps hands as GUS walks away) Let’s go! I’m driving, where are your keys? (sees keys hanging beside him) Never mind, I got them! Ooh! (sees a pineapple and grabs it) Should I slice this up for the road?

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS are driving down the highway, SHAWN at the wheel. They drive past a cop car and he puts his lights and siren on, pulling out of his hiding place to follow them]

[CUT to SHAWN and GUS pulled over, the cop getting out of his car to approach them]

GUS: Well, we’re off to a banner start.

SHAWN: Just let me do the talking. (grabs his wallet from his pocket, looking through the cards in it. He hands one to the officer)

OFFICER: (looks at card) What’s this?

SHAWN: Oh! That’s my dad’s old police business card. Guess it must have stuck to the back there. I’ve been carrying that in my wallet for ages. Never can be too careful coming from a family of cops.

OFFICER: Henry Spencer is your dad?

SHAWN: Yes. Yes, he is.

OFFICER: Well, how’s old Henry doing?

SHAWN: Oh, you know Henry. He’s great. Retired. Living in Miami.

OFFICER: I saw Henry three weeks ago, at the Home Depot.

SHAWN: Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right. He popped into town for a few days, grabbed some supplies… some wood.

SHAWN: And then later, at headquarters, I suddenly and miraculously have a vision!

GUS: A vision?

SHAWN: A vision of stuff we saw. Like, uh… Like the road sign with the two bullet holes, like the red kayak, the yellow kayak, and the highway with numbers. Oh, I’m seeing… What am I seeing? 8-3-1-

GUS: We’re on highway 138.

SHAWN: Exactly! In the spirit world things get jumbled and out of sequence, but my premonition becomes clear when we all jump in the squad car together. By the way, let me sit next to that Jr. Detective-

GUS: Shawn, please.

SHAWN: At last, we lead them here. And finally we both put on our ‘surprise faces’ as I guide them to the cabin for the first time. This is mine.

[SHAWN gasps and expresses surprise. GUS just stares deadpan at him]

SHAWN: What do ya got?

[GUS stares at him and then shoves the binoculars at SHAWN, then he walks away]

SHAWN: Gus! That’s horrible. It doesn’t convey surprise at all. Gus!

[SCENE]

[back in Santa Barbara, SHAWN and GUS walk from the car. Both are wearing sunglasses]

SHAWN: All right. Let me do the talking.

GUS: Is there even an option?

SHAWN: No, I want a lot of witnesses for my miraculous vision.

GUS: Yeah, yeah. There they go!

[The SR DETECTIVE and JR DETECTIVE are walking down the street to a restaurant]

GUS: Detectives!

[SHAWN and GUS run after the DETECTIVES]

GUS: Detectives! Detectives!

[the DETECTIVES stop and look behind them, then the SR DETECTIVE frowns and they start walking again. GUS and SHAWN catch up to them]

GUS: We had a breakthrough!

SHAWN: It is very important.

SR DETECTIVE: I also have something important, it’s called lunch. Make an appointment.

[back with the DETECTIVES, the SR DETECTIVE watches the cook(BILLY CAMP) who begins sneezing with a chicken wing held in a set of tongs before him]

SR DETECTIVE: I will be right back.

[he gets up from the table and goes outside]

SHAWN: Here we go. Act natural.

SR DETECTIVE: Okay! What is it!

[SCENE]

[the DETECTIVES, SHAWN, and GUS are driving down the highway toward the cabin. The SR DETECTIVE is driving and it is the DETECTIVE’s car. SHAWN is in the back seat with GUS practicing his ‘surprised face’. GUS whacks him in the arm to stop]

[SCENE]

[they arrive at the woods and get out of the car. SHAWN quickly goes to the lead]

SR DETECTIVE: All right. This is great. Now what?

SHAWN: Does anyone have any binoculars?

SR DETECTIVE: No, no. You see we don’t carry binoculars.

SHAWN: Ooh! Never mind, I found some here in my pocket.

[SHAWN stops and look through the binoculars]

SHAWN: There it is! Just like I saw it!

[the SR DETECTIVE snatches the binoculars and looks at the house]

SR DETECTIVE: You wanna tell me what I’m looking for please?

SHAWN: Uh, I’m not sure exactly. I see… a bone?

SR DETECTIVE: What? A human bone?

SHAWN: No, no… R-rawhide? And a ball.

SR DETECTIVE: (sees the yellow Lab) Holy crap. Call for backup.

SHAWN: What? What do you see detective?!

[SCENE]

[opens with a SWAT vehicles doors bursting open and a SWAT team pouring out. They storm the house]

[SCENE]

[a bunch of cop cars and cops have arrived. SHAWN and GUS are walking along side of them]

SHAWN: I can’t believe they won’t let us in. This is lame.

GUS: And you were so polite when you asked the SWAT team to issue you the (???)(AN: the last word GUS speaks is hard to decipher)

SHAWN: Just make sure you act in awe of me when the police come to say I was completely right. Oh! And maybe a little afraid, like my powers could possibly be used for evil.

[DOG barking]

GUS: OH! Watch out! Watch out!

[the DOG runs up to SHAWN. It is the yellow Lab]

SHAWN: (kneels down and pets DOG, laughing) For what? Its tongue?

GUS: That thing could be vicious.

SHAWN: Yeah. It’s diabolical with its calculated decoy tail wagging.

GUS: There’s blood on its whiskers!

SHAWN: Oh, that’s not blood it’s snausages. (???)

GUS: Are you sure?

SHAWN: Yes, I’m sure. Either that or he just mauled a mountain lion. C’mon, Gus.

OFFICER: Mr. Spencer? Follow me.

[SHAWN gives GUS a thumbs up and they follow the OFFICER]

SHAWN: Now, if there are any press make sure you mention our agency.

GUS: We don’t have an agency.

SHAWN: Yes, we do. I applied for a D.B.A. online. Which reminds me. We’re gonna need a name. Mind Masters? Already taken! Make sure you tell them that we do private cases, because I bet the Department is only going to be good for one or two a month.

GUS: You tell them.

SHAWN: I can’t. I’m secretive, mysterious, enigmatic.

GUS: Delusional.

SHAWN: Remember, act surprised.

[They enter the house. Some cops have hankerchiefs over their nose and mouths]

SHAWN: Wow. This is just like I saw before.

[SHAWN freezes as he finally takes in the scene. There are two dead bodies in the kitchen before him. One is sprawled on the floor, blood pooled beneath his head. The other is slumped in a chair, bullet wounds to his chest. His arm is stretched out on the kitchen table with a gun in its limp grasp]

**the gun in the dead man’s hand**

**a coffee cup laying on its side on the floor**

**a coffee pot on the stove with the coffee having boiled over**

**the dead body on the floor, blood pooled beneath his head**

**blood and hair on the corner of the hard wood table**

[everyone is staring at SHAWN as he looks around]

GUS: (looks at his watch) Pardon me. Ladies. Gentlemen.

[GUS runs outside and screams]

[SCENE]

[SANTA BARBARA POLICE DEPT. – POLICE CHIEF KAREN VICK’s OFFICE]

KAREN: The police department has been approved to call on you again, Mr. Spencer. Even though this case didn’t end up exactly the way we had hoped, I thank you for your sevices.

[KAREN gives SHAWN a check, he hands it to GUS, and then she shakes SHAWN’s hand]

KAREN: You were invaluable.

[KAREN shakes GUS’s hand next]

GUS: Thank you.

[GUS turns to leave, but SHAWN sits back down]

SHAWN: You are making a huge mistake. This case isn’t closed.

KAREN: Pardon me?

[GUS sits down]

SHAWN: Murder? Suicide? C’mon, you’re buying that?

KAREN: I’m not buying anything. Those are the facts.

GUS: I’ll buy it. (gets up to leave again)

SHAWN: I understand. I do. You’d like to shut the book on this as quickly as possible. It’s fine.

[GUS sits back down again]

KAREN: They had a falling out.

SHAWN: Before they got the ransom money? Why? What did they have to fight about before they got the cash?

KAREN: Might I remind you, Mr. Spencer, that you are not a detective.

SHAWN: I just need to speak to the witnesses again.

KAREN: The McCallum family has been through enough and this conversation is over.

GUS: Thank you. (stands to leave again) Uh, we parked in a parking structure. Do you validate?

SHAWN: Would it make any difference to you if I told you Camden McCallum spoke to me? …from beyond the grave.

SHAWN: Interim chief. And have you considered that Camden McCallum may have been alive the first time we went to that cabin?

GUS: No.

SHAWN: Well, I have!

[SHAWN sees MR. McCALLUM in an office across from him, shaking the SR DETECTIVE’s hand]

**MR. McCALLUM is wearing a long sleeved shirt and a bandage is just peaking out from the cuff of his right arm**

SHAWN: I need to talk to that guy.

GUS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. (GUS stops SHAWN’s movement)

SHAWN: C’mon, Gus. Just for a second. The man is almost practically my father-in-law.

GUS: Make no mistake, Shawn. I will kill you.

SHAWN: Okay. I appreciate the fact that you think you can beat me up, but I think our last scuffle proves otherwise.

GUS: Are you talking about the Cinema(?) Festival?

SHAWN: Yes! You do remember.

GUS: Okay. First of all I was six and I had a cast!

SHAWN: Which many would construe as a clear advantage. It’s like having a weapon attached to your arm. Oh, great. Now the chief is staring right at us.

[SHAWN dodges around GUS as the JR DETECTIVE exits the office to stop him]

SHAWN: Mr. McCallum! (he calls out before the door closes)

JR DETECTIVE: The chief wants him left alone.

SHAWN: Well, we all want to be left alone.

JR DETECTIVE: Yeah, some more than others.

SHAWN: What’s with his wrist?

JR DETECTIVE: You don’t give up, do you?

SHAWN: I do give up, all the time, but not until the moment is right. Now, c’mon. I know you don’t think this adds up either.

JR DETECTIVE: Okay. Rumor is he tried to off himself.

SHAWN: Off himself? The war hero? The man who’s seen everything? No. That’s not it. That’s definitely not it.

JR DETECTIVE: You know everything, don’t you?

SHAWN: (sighs) Yeah. Scary, isn’t it? Something is going on and I’m gonna find out what it is.

[SHAWN starts to make his way to the office, but the SR DETECTIVE grabs him around the shoulders and guides him away from the office]

SR DETECTIVE: No. You are not going anywhere near that man. In fact, I’m gonna make certain you never hear from the Department again.

SHAWN: Whoa. I’m getting strong vibrations that you might be wrong.

SR DETECTIVE: I’m onto you. You’ve got a source somewhere and I’m gonna find it. You think this is some sort of game? I’m not going to let you just waltz around here like some kid in a candy store.

SHAWN: Let me be honest with you, Detective. I used to work in a candy store and it’s nothing like this.

[SHAWN and GUS walk away]

SR DETECTIVE: You’re in over your head, mystic!

[SCENE]

[SHAWN drives his motorcycle up to a beach house and rings the doorbell. HENRY answers it, shrugging on a coat]

SHAWN: (wary) Hey, Dad.

HENRY: (sighing) Shawn.

SHAWN: You didn’t tell me you moved back.

HENRY: You didn’t tell me you moved away.

SHAWN: That was different.

HENRY: Was it?

SHAWN: Yeah, I was busy trying to help my mom through her divorce.

HENRY: Well, it’s nice to see you too, son.

SHAWN: Can I come in?

HENRY: No.

[HENRY grabs his cap and puts it on, stepping out of his house and shutting the door. He walks past SHAWN]

HENRY: I was on my way out to lunch. You can come with me if you don’t bring this thing. (referring to SHAWN’s bike)

[SCENE]

[they are sitting at a table in a bar, eating]

HENRY: When I was at the Department there were two things I hated in this world: private investigators and psychics. Congratulations, kid. You just hit the disappointment exactum.

SHAWN: Thank you very much. It sorta happened by accident.

HENRY: What are you going to do when you get caught? Move out of town?

SHAWN: I’m not gonna get caught.

HENRY: Shawn, this is just like everything else. Three months from now you’re gonna be on a bus going to Minneapolis ‘cause you found your calling as a weatherman.

SHAWN: It’s not like that this time. Have you been listening to me? I’ve finally figured out a way to use my special gift. You should be thrilled. You’re the one that made me this way. (pauses) I’m good at this.

HENRY: Oh. Oh, I see. You are so good at it what are you doing knocking at my door?

SHAWN: You think I came to you for help? (pauses as HENRY stares at him) Okay. There was no ransom drop.

HENRY: (shakes head) I’m not gonna be a part of this.

SHAWN: Oh, come on! Would you just hear me out?

HENRY: (sighs) Okay. So, no ransom drop. So what? Big deal.

SHAWN: So, six days? Nothing? Not even a demand?

HENRY: It happens all the time. It’s not a precedent. They try to create panic in the family.

SHAWN: Yeah. I know, I know. But not this guy. This guy wanted it done quickly. I know that.

HENRY: Well, then you missed something. You’ve been driving your motorcycle all over the country working your bungee chord expeditions. You’re soft. Hey! Pal, it happens.

SHAWN: I’m not soft. I’m sharper than I’ve ever been.

HENRY: Close your eyes.

SHAWN: (guffaws) No way. I’m not seven.

HENRY: Close your eyes. Any longer and I’ll think you’re cheating.

[SHAWN stares at HENRY, then closes his eyes, sighing]

HENRY: How many hats are in the room?

SHAWN: All right. Fine. Just in case you are trying to pull a fast one, I’m not counting the one in your pocket.

[a smile tugs at HENRY’s lips at that comment]

[SHAWN raises his fingers to his temples and concentrates, then points around the bar, eyes still closed]

SHAWN: Nylon fishing hat on the loner in the corner, foam cap on the kid that’s too young to know they were lame the first time they came out, both truckers, one a concrete company I’ve never heard of, the other advertising free mustache rides, I’m fairly certain no one’s taken him up on that offer, Norwegian girl ponytail out the back, unfortunately she’s married, and our friendly bartender wearing the official hat of the restaurant. Six hats.

HENRY: And?

SHAWN: That’s it.

HENRY: Sorry, pal. There are seven hats. I can’t help ya. You missed something.

SHAWN: I didn’t miss anything.

HENRY: There are seven hats, Shawn.

SHAWN: Were. (he opens his eyes) Before I closed my eyes. Cowboy hat walked out while I was ridiculing mustache rides. (HENRY looks around bar) C’mon. I heard boots.

HENRY: All right. Close enough.

SHAWN: Close enough? No. I nailed that.

HENRY: Yeah, but ya changed the rules. But hey, if it makes you happy.

[HENRY gets up from the table, the meal’s bill in his hand]

SHAWN: Changed the rules…

[SHAWN gets up and follows HENRY]

SHAWN: I did not change the rules. What I did was nail it and you know it.

HENRY: Shawn. You want my advice? Go out and get yourself a real job. Grow up. In the meantime, you might want to ask yourself who you are trusting in this case that maybe you shouldn’t. ‘Cause obviously you are overlooking somebody. Thanks for lunch.

[HENRY gives SHAWN the bill and walks out, SHAWN watching him leave]

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS are sitting in GUS’s blue car, GUS at the wheel. SHAWN is looking through binoculars at the McCallum Textiles building they are parked outside of]

GUS: Why are we at the McCallum offices?

SHAWN: What is the magnification on these things?

GUS: 2x

SHAWN: Okay. We need to stop at Wal-mart on the way home.

GUS: Why don’t you just take your big, loud motorcycle?

SHAWN: Oh! Here we go, here we go!

[KATERINA and a MAN are shown exiting the building. KATERINA is carrying a black bag]

GUS: Oh, hell no! You got me out of work so you could stalk your girl?

SHAWN: Damn it. What is he doing here? (referring to the MAN, who is evidently BILL, her boyfriend)

GUS: I can’t believe this!

SHAWN: What is up with his hair? It’s horrible. I knew I should have had him picked up for questioning.

[BILL gives KATERINA a kiss on the cheek and then leaves]

SHAWN: That is not the way a grown man kisses a grown woman. We’re fine. (watches her walk to her car) Why does she look so nervous?

[SHAWN focuses on the bag]

SHAWN: Oh, no. Is it just me or does that bag look like it’s filled with stacks of ransom money?

GUS: Give me that. (grabs the binoculars) Oh, my God.

SHAWN: (forlornly) Katerina…

GUS: It was her! You’re dating a murderer.

SHAWN: Not exclusively.

GUS: Wow. (starts laughing)

[They drive through downtown SANTA BARBARA, following KATERINA]

GUS: You see, I knew there was a reason she went for you so easily.

SHAWN: She wasn’t lying, Gus. I know when people are lying.

GUS: Oh, yeah? Apparently not. You just got played. (laughs)

[KATERINA has stopped in an alley, a scruffy looking MAN is with her. SHAWN and GUS are parked around the corner and are watching them]

GUS: Should we call the cops?

SHAWN: Too late for that.

GUS: You could pretend you had a vision of a girl totally manipulating you.

SHAWN: Would you stop!

[KATERINA hands the bag to the MAN]

GUS: What should we do?

SHAWN: There’s only one thing to do.

[SHAWN slips out of the car and sneaks his way down to KATERINA and the MAN]

GUS: Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

[SHAWN runs up to KATERINA and the MAN and rips the bag from them]

KATERINA: Shawn? Hey!

[SHAWN is looking back at them as he runs back to the car. Suddenly he slams into GUS]

SHAWN: What are you doing?!

GUS: Helping!

SHAWN: You were supposed to stay at the car!

GUS: You didn’t tell me!

SHAWN: Well, come on!

[SHAWN tries to open the car door, but can’t]

SHAWN: Gus! You locked the car?!

GUS: It’s a bad neighborhood!

KATERINA: What in the world is going on, Shawn?

SHAWN: I know what’s in the bag.

KATERINA: Uh, you do?

SHAWN: You’re good. Very good. I didn’t consider who would become the sole heir to the McCallum fortune if Camden was out of the picture.

KATERINA: You think I want my family’s money?

SHAWN: You don’t need it, do you? Now that you’ve got this money!

[SHAWN pulls what is supposed to be money from the bag, but it is a towel. The bag is filled with clothes and towels]

SHAWN: (to GUS) We have got to get better binoculars.

[The MAN grabs the bag from SHAWN]

**‘Carol’s Thrift Store’ printed on MAN’s hat as well as his jacket**

[KATERINA and the MAN walk away]

SHAWN: Katerina…

[she ignores him. SHAWN looks to GUS, but he just gets in the car]

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS are still in the car. SHAWN is watching the MAN enter CAROL’s THRIFT STORE as KATERINA drives away]

SHAWN: Go buy the bag.

GUS: What? Do you want a souvenir of you ineptitude?

SHAWN: I need to get a better look inside the bag.

GUS: I’m not going in there. That guy wants to kill us.

SHAWN: Gus, this guy works in a thrift store. Okay? He’s a big, furry-hearted good Samaritan. C’mon. I’ll be right here. Go ahead.

[with a sigh, GUS leaves the car and goes in the THRIFT STORE. GUS nervously walks toward the MAN]

MAN: What the hell do you want?

GUS: Can I have the bag?

MAN: You’re serious?

GUS: Just the bag. Not the clothes. I’ll pay you for it.

MAN: Oh, you’ve got some nerve coming in here.

[GUS sees SHAWN entering the THRIFT STORE by the other door]

GUS: I can’t believe this.

MAN: Neither can I. I’ve gone to jail for less than you.

GUS: Jail’s no fun, I’ll tell you that much.

MAN: Oh, you’ve been?

GUS: Once. In ‘Monopoly’.

[MAN moves to hit GUS]

GUS: Okay! Hold on! Hold on!

[MAN pauses]

GUS: (pointing behind man) Who’s that?

[MAN turns and sees SHAWN, who freaks and grabs the bag. SHAWN runs from the THRIFT STORE as does GUS. The MAN runs after SHAWN. SHAWN bursts out the door and back into the alley, the MAN hot on his heels. SHAWN runs back to GUS’ car. GUS has already made it back to the car and has rolled down the passenger window. SHAWN dives through it]

SHAWN: Go! Go! Go!

[GUS peels away, SHAWN’s legs still dangling out the window]

SHAWN: (yelling at GUS as he works his way into the car) I can’t believe you sold me out like that!

GUS: You didn’t tell me I was a decoy!

SHAWN: Of course you were the decoy!

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS are at GUS’ OFFICE. SHAWN unzips the bag and examines the inside. GUS looks on, unimpressed. SHAWN even smells the bag]

SHAWN: (shakes head) Seems pretty clean.

GUS: What? They didn’t happen to leave a ransom note inside?

SHAWN: Give me some money.

GUS: Get your own money.

SHAWN: Gus, I’ll give it back.

[GUS grabs his wallet and hands SHAWN some cash. SHAWN leafs through it]

SHAWN: Seriously. This is all you carry?

[GUS rolls his eyes]

SHAWN: (clears throat) Okay. So. (he lays the bills in the bag) Five stacks going across. Figure four going long ways. Ten stacks in each pile based on the wear and the indentation. Depending on the denomination, uh… This could easily be five million dollars.

GUS: You’re kidding.

SHAWN: Give or take.

GUS: You got that from a groove on the side?

SHAWN: Oh. Come on, Gus. Any small child could have figured that out.

GUS: So somebody at that house did pay a ransom.

SHAWN: Uh-huh. Or tried to.

GUS: Who?

SHAWN: I don’t know. We’re going to need more than my psychic powers to figure this out.

[SCENE]

[SHAWN is walking through the SANTA BARBARA POLICE DEPT. He walks up to the JR DETECTIVE]

JR DETECTIVE: Here to scope out the new meter maids?

SHAWN: Nope. I am here to see you.

JR DETECTIVE: Not interested.

SHAWN: I know. You have someone special. He’s married and/or separated.

SHAWN: Everything you have on Malcom Orso. He was Camden’s accomplice.

JR DETECTIVE: I’ll get fired.

SHAWN: Oh, really? Because it seems like a grey area to me.

JR DETECTIVE: Well, that’s the problem with you, Mr. Spencer. You live your entire life in a grey area.

SHAWN: That’s not true. Though I generally vacation in grey areas.

[the JR DETECTIVE sighs and then grabs at a file SHAWN is sitting on. He shifts so she can get it]

JR DETECTIVE: We can’t talk here.

[the JR DETECTIVE leaves the room, SHAWN follows]

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and the JR DETECTIVE are in the FIRING RANGE/ROOM. The JR DETECTIVE is shooting at a target sheet as SHAWN looks over the files]

SHAWN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. It says Orso is seen in the town near the cabin.

JR DETECTIVE: Yeah. Twice. Early in the week by a storeowner.

SHAWN: What was he buying?

JR DETECTIVE: Nothing. The old man just saw him on the street.

SHAWN: The same old man sees him two times?

JR DETECTIVE: Yeah. Orso had one of those modified mufflers on his Nova. You could hear him a block away. (reloads gun and sets it down) You’ll need a new target sheet.

SHAWN: Oh, no. No. (sets files down) This is, uh, this is fine. (picks up gun) Wow. They’re so much lighter when they are filled with water.

[the JR DETECTIVE gives SHAWN a look of disbelief]

[SHAWN laughs slightly, then aims at the target. SHAWN now looks serious and very focused. He fires off six shots]

JR DETECTIVE: (looks at target sheet) You missed.

SHAWN: Did I really?

[the JR DETECTIVE pushes the button to retrieve the target sheet. As it moves towards them, they take off their safety glasses. The JR DETECTIVE looks shocked as the target sheet gets closer. Every one of SHAWN’s shots has hit the same location as the JR DETECTIVE’s shots]

SHAWN: Will you look at that? It’s a perfect match.

JR DETECTIVE: Damn.

[SCENE]

[GUS and SHAWN are back at the McCALLUM ESTATE]

GUS: I’m telling you, there is no way that Katerina is going to talk to you.

SHAWN: Yeah. Well, I sorta lied about that part. We’re not here to see Katerina.

GUS: Who are we here to see?

MR. McCALLUM: (walking down the staircase behind SHAWN and GUS) This is highly inappropriate, Mr. Spencer. The investigation is over.

SHAWN: What if they got the wrong man?

MR. McCALLUM: And who would the right man be?

SHAWN: You.

[SCENE]

[MR. McCALLUM, SHAWN, and GUS enter MR. McCALLUM’s HOME OFFICE]

GUS: Mr. McCallum, I didn’t have anything to do with this.

MR. McCALLUM: (to SHAWN) I killed my own son.

SHAWN: If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you meant to.

MR. McCALLUM: You’re not a detective. You’re not even a cop.

SHAWN: You’re right. I’m a psychic, and I saw the whole thing.

[SHAWN takes in an audible breath and raises a hand to his head, eyes closing. Scenes flash by depicting what SHAWN is describing]

SHAWN: I see a ransom drop. You are doing everything they ask. You didn’t call the police. You are thinking of nothing, but the security of your son. (SHAWN opens his eyes and looks at MR. McCALLUM) After all, what is five million dollars to you? You’re driving away. I can see it. Then something strange happens. You recognize the car. You pass it on the hill. It’s Malcom Orso’s. You’ve seen it hundreds of times at your house ever since high school. Maybe it confirms a suspicion you already have. You know where they are. You know the cabin.

[SHAWN gasps and scenes of the crime flash as he continues]

**the boiled over coffee on the stove**

**the overturned coffee cup on the floor**

SHAWN: He’s making coffee.

**the blood and hair on the corner of the table**

SHAWN: You didn’t mean to kill him, did you? No. Just knock him around a little bit. Teach him a lesson, but he falls to the floor. He slams his head on the oak table. He’s dead. You know he’s dead.

[MR. McCALLUM looks lost in a daze of memories. GUS looks stunned. MR. McCALLUM snaps out of his daze and turns away from SHAWN]

SHAWN: Orso walks in, finds you. He’s got a half-assed pistol, but he’s no criminal. You know there’s only one way to cover your tracks. You take care of him, too. You make it look like a suicide. Then you come home, inform the police and you wait. You wait for a ransom call that will never come.

[GUS looks like he’s going to be sick. He’s gagging]

SHAWN: The police eat it up. It’s easy to look shaken after all you’ve done. (SHAWN looks down at MR. McCALLUM’s wrist) You might even be willing to take your own life.

MR. McCALLUM: You have an overactive imagination. Perhaps a side-effect of your gift.

GUS: Shawn, we need to go.

SHAWN: Not yet.

GUS: I’m about to throw up on a Turkish carpet.

SHAWN: No, you’re not.

GUS: It’s in my esophagus.

SHAWN: (rolls eyes) Second door on the left. Turn on the fan and flush.

[GUS runs from the room]

MR. McCALLUM: I will not have this incident rehashed over and over again.

SHAWN: I know what your relationship was with your son.

MR. McCALLUM: Oh, really?

SHAWN: I have a father that I disappoint all the time.

MR. McCALLUM: I’m sure you do.

SHAWN: I know how you feel. This was it. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back, wasn’t it? To think, eighteen months ago he sat across from you, looked you right in the eye, and said “Dad, I’m gonna clean up my act. This time, this time I’m gonna change. I swear.” To know that he duped you and you fell for it all over again. It must have sent you into a state that even you can’t believe.

MR. McCALLUM: Mr. Spencer, I have been assured by the Lt. Govenor that this case will not cast a pall over my family. And I can assure you it’s gonna cast one over yours.

[SHAWN and GUS walk away from the McCALLUM ESTATE and toward GUS’ car]

SHAWN: (to GUS) Dude, what are you doing? We had him on the ropes!

GUS: It wasn’t the right tact.

SHAWN: Oh, you’re the expert now?

GUS: Consumine. (???)

SHAWN: What?

GUS: Consumine. It’s for dog bites. I have some samples.

SHAWN: Gus, what are you saying to me?!

GUS: I’m saying there was a bottle of it in the medicine cabinet prescribed Wednesday. You wondered why he had that long sleeved shirt in the heat that day?

SHAWN: Oh, my gosh. That dog did have blood on its teeth.

GUS: I told you it wasn’t snausages.

[SHAWN and GUS get in GUS’ car]

GUS: We’re never getting back in there.

SHAWN: I know. Just give me a second.

[SHAWN raises his fingers to his temples, eyes closed]

GUS: (gives SHAWN a weird look) What are you doing?

SHAWN: I thinking!

GUS: You look ridiculous.

[SHAWN suddenly opens his eyes, then grabs his cell phone]

GUS: Now what are you doing?

SHAWN: I’m calling the cops.

GUS: For what? You heard the guy in there. They’re never going to come.

SHAWN: I’m not calling the cops on him, I’m calling the cops on us. Gus, we need this to play out in front of an audience with all the major players in place- (his call gets picked up and he speaks into it in a disguised voice) Yes. Hello? I’m calling from the McCallum residence and there is an intruder here that simply won’t leave. He’s claiming to be a psychic and works for your Department. Mr. McCallum is enraged and he wants this handled by the highest authority possible. Please, send the Chief immediately.

[SHAWN terminates the call]

SHAWN: (looks at GUS) Did you really vomit?

[GUS shakes his head]

[SCENE]

[Police cars arrive at the McCALLUM ESTATE. MR. McCALLUM watches them through a window]

MR. McCALLUM: (to his butler) Who called them?

BUTLER: I don’t know, sir. Maybe the back staff? Those two gentlemen have not left the driveway. Would you like me to send them all away?

MR. McCALLUM: No. Let’s finish this.

[SCENE]

[MR. McCALLUM is walking out of his home along side POLICE CHIEF KAREN VICK]

MR. McCALLUM: As you can see, Karen, this simply cannot happen.

KAREN: It will be taken care of, believe me. He was given clear instructions to stay away.

[GUS and SHAWN are handcuffed and are being escorted out of the house by the JR and SR DETECTIVES]

MR. McCALLUM: I understand, but… (walks out of scene)

SR DETECTIVE: (escorting SHAWN) Ya know, it’s times like this that I remember why I love my job.

GUS: Anytime, Shawn.

SHAWN: He’s getting cocky. Give it a sec.

GUS: We’re gonna be in the city jail in a sec.

SR DETECTIVE: (opening police car door) Here we are.

[the SR DETECTIVE slams SHAWN’s head on the car’s roof while ‘helping’ him to bend into the car. SHAWN cries out in pain and jerks back, still standing outside of the car]

SR DETECTIVE: Oh, I’m sorry. Did that hurt?

[SHAWN winces and then glances at GUS on the other side of the car. GUS gives him a “How about now?” look and SHAWN nods]

SHAWN: (gasps) Oh! Something’s happening!

SR DETECTIVE: (trying to force SHAWN into the car) Stop it!

SHAWN: Gus! Something’s happening!

SR DETECTIVE: (as SHAWN begins jerking around in his grasp) Stop it!

[SHAWN breaks free of the SR DETECTIVE’s hold and falls to the ground. He jerks around on the ground for a moment, feigning pain]

SHAWN: Ow! There’s blood! Ah! (as the SR DETECTIVE pretty much carries him to the car) It’s him! It’s McCallum! I can see his face! The killer is McCallum! (the SR DETECTIVE is trying to stuff SHAWN into the car) Check his wrist! Check his right wrist. The teeth marks will match up.

MR. McCALLUM: Get him out of here!

SHAWN: Check the wrist!

MR. McCALLUM: No one is checking any part of me!

KAREN: Why not?

[Everyone freezes. The SR DETECTIVE stops trying to force SHAWN into the car]

MR. McCALLUM: Huh?

KAREN: We could close this out immediately, discredit him right here. That’s an awful wound you have bandaged there.

MR. McCALLUM: This is outrageous! Do you really want to do this?

KAREN: We could do this now, or I can call in a warrant.

MR. McCALLUM: I’ll call my lawyers.

KAREN: I’ll be right here.

SHAWN: I see a doctor! I’m seeing a doctor. Doctor Bendali. And a word. Consumine! Yeah, it’s for dogbites! The wound is fresh! Check the wound! It’s a fresh wound, it’s still a fresh wound!

[SHAWN runs up the steps of the SANTA BARBARA POLICE DEPT. and then walks through the precinct toward KAREN’s office. SHAWN opens the door and enters]

SHAWN: There she is.

KAREN: Don’t ever walk into my office without knocking.

SHAWN: I’m sorry. I got excited.

KAREN: You know what I’ll do to you?

SHAWN: Yes.

KAREN: Oh, you do?

SHAWN: I’m a psychic.

KAREN: I am just finishing up in here. I’ll be with you in a moment.

HENRY: (standing up into sight) That’s all right, Karen. I’ve got to get going anyway.

KAREN: Thank you very much for coming down. (shakes HENRY’s hand) You’ve been a big help.

[HENRY nods and walks from the room, passing SHAWN]

HENRY: Son.

SHAWN: (looks stunned) Dad.

KAREN: Have a seat. I was considering adding you to my speed dial, Mr. Spencer, but I would be remiss if I didn’t do a background check. Don’t you think?

SHAWN: Uh, yes?

KAREN: I asked your dad how long you’ve had the gift.

SHAWN: Look, my father’s memory is pretty cloudy.

KAREN: Oh, it certainly is. His recollection doesn’t match up with your assertion at all.

SHAWN: I can explain that.

KAREN: You said you’ve had this ability your whole life.

SHAWN: Well, whole life… It’s a bit of a grey area.

KAREN: He said you didn’t get it until you were eighteen.

SHAWN: (pauses) He said that?

[KAREN nods]

SHAWN: Wow. That is just like him. The man simply refuses to acknowledge my abilities. My gifts. Can we discuss my fee?

KAREN: (laughs) There’s a check in the cage. (SHAWN stands) Sign for it and then come back in.

SHAWN: Come back in here? Why?

KAREN: (hands SHAWN a file) You familiar with the chop shop in Summerland?

[SCENE]

[SHAWN is running down the DEPARTMENT steps after HENRY who opens the door to his truck]

SHAWN: Dad!

HENRY: So, are you going to continue this little charade?

SHAWN: Well, it sorta gives me quarplaush(???), ya know? I mean, I can work cases for the Department. I can do private jobs. In fact, I’ve already got another case.

HENRY: Be aware. This is the last time I cover for ya, pal.

[HENRY gets in his truck and closes the door, but the window is down]

HENRY: I’m not okay with this, Shawn. Any of it.

**newspaper on passenger seat with an article about SHAWN cracking the case**

SHAWN: (smiles, but HENRY doesn’t see it) I don’t expect you to be, Dad.

[HENRY starts the truck and backs away. SHAWN watches him drive off]

[SCENE]

[SHAWN and GUS drive up to a building, SHAWN is driving]

SHAWN: Awesome!

[a window of the building is shown. It reads: psych, Private Psychic Detective. SHAWN and GUS get out of the car]

GUS: Psych? As in “Gotcha”?

SHAWN: Or as in psych-ic.

[SHAWN and GUS enter the building]

GUS: You named your fake detective agency Psych? Why didn’t you just call it ‘Hey, We’re Fooling You And The Police Department Hope We Don’t Make A Mistake And Someone Dies Because Of It’?

SHAWN: First of all, Gus, that name is entirely too long. It would never fit on the window. And secondly, the best way to convince people you are not lying is to tell them you are.

GUS: Whatever, Shawn. It’s your agency. Go for it.

SHAWN: Actually, it’s our agency. (opens a file) I put your name on the lease as well. Tell me, does that look anything like your signature? I gave it a shot.

GUS: This better be a joke.

SHAWN: Don’t worry. You don’t have to do a thing. I have worked out every last detail.

GUS: What’s your dental plan?

SHAWN: Don’t get cavities.

GUS: Health plan?

SHAWN: Same, but with Hepatitis and Shingles.

GUS: So, I’m supposed to quit my job, skip over and do this for no guaranteed money?

SHAWN: No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!

GUS: No. No more cases, Shawn. It was fun for a few days.

SHAWN: Well, it’s gonna have to be fun for a minimum of six months or we’ll have to pay a lease penalty. Which would be a blemish on your otherwise very impressive credit report.

GUS: You solved one mystery and now you’ve rented office space?

SHAWN: Gus, I’ve solved a bunch of mysteries. For instance, the mystery of who kept stealing your newspaper. Answer: Me! The mystery of what we are doing this weekend. Hint: It involves dragsters. And finally, the mystery that is the case the Chief just brought me in on.

GUS: You got another case already?

SHAWN: A car thief got poisoned by his boss. He used something over the counter. Phizadine. No, Phizaderble. No. Uh…