In which I redesign a doctor’s exam room to my liking (NHBPM 7)

Instead of: Sitting nearly naked in a freezing cold room
I’d like to see: A warm chest of blankets and Frette robes

Instead of: Little plastic cups to fill up with a urine sample
I’d like to see: Little plastic cups to fill up with frozen yogurt

Instead of: Hard plastic chairs that say, “Don’t make yourself at home. And sit up straight while I”m talking to you!”
I’d like to see: Big leather recliners that say, “Jeeves will be ’round to take your cocktail order in just a few.”

Instead of: Butcher paper on the exam tables. What am I, a piece of meat?
I’d like to see: Silk. Or velvet. Or cashmere.

Instead of: Jars of cotton swabs and tongue depressors
I’d like to see: Jars of Twizzlers and gluten-free pretzel rods

Instead of: Art on the walls that looks like it was stolen from the motel down by the interstate
I’d like to see: Sunshine and trees through a window, or a poster from The Oatmeal

Instead of: No place to recharge devices during your wait
I’d like to see: iPhone and iPad charging cables

Instead of: Old irrelevant magazines
I’d like to see: A transparent and up-to-date list of all prices for services and treatments

It’s so sad that that has to fall in the fantasy realm. One of the best things about seeing my neuro is that they usually spend about 30 minutes with me — something that has NEVER happened with any other kind of doctor. It really does make a difference.

Funny, I was just thinking about this as I have to get my annual violation this week. I’d like paint on the walls, turn on the heat, and get some mood lighting. And something other than the paper towel sheet they give to dress in. Also, soft curtains would be nice so I didn’t fear that everyone can see me through the blinds. I also can’t wait for the obgyn to catch up to the dentists and give me a tv to watch while I crinkle around on the table. If I had the money I would love to remodel things one obgyn at a time!