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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Parents-
I’m going to be straight up with you. Most teachers don’t want to say
this to you, but I will. I want you to know this isn’t coming from a
place of animosity or anger. The majority of my experiences with parents
have been positive. Even those parents, though, sometimes need to hear
what I’m about to say.

I
am the professional here. This is my job. I’ve been well trained. I do
it for a living. You need to trust me. I don’t get paid based on your
child’s grades (yet). I don’t get sick pleasure out of making your son
cry. I’m not picking on your daughter via her report card. I’m not
trying to ruin your weekend with my math homework. I really do believe
the reading is more important than football practice. I could use help
on this field trip, and your daughter would really dig it if you came.
Yes, he does need all those folders and pencils and journals, they
aren’t that expensive at Target and you should see his desk without
them. I really do know what is best in my classroom. The story your son
is telling you about what happened at recess might be true-ish, I’m not
saying he’s lying, but he might be conveniently forgetting context. I
would very much appreciate it if you ask me my version of something
before you get angry with me. I write notes home so you know what is
going on, please write me back so I know you saw the note. And please
please please don’t call my classroom in the middle of the day. I’m
busy.

Monday, June 3, 2013

*This is from a chapter about unusual things that happen in my classroom*

Watching You-
Watching You isn’t a game and it isn’t a lesson. It’s not active at
all. The point of watching you is to constantly remind my students and
myself that learning is serious business, but it doesn’t have to be
taken seriously. It is easy to explain. I know I stole it, but I don’t
know who from.

Before
the school year starts I take a picture of myself looking stern, arms
crossed, scowling at the camera. I print five full-page copies of the
picture, which I put into clear protective covers. Then I staple the
pictures to the walls of my classroom, one on each wall and one on the
ceiling.

I
say nothing about the pictures. I do not acknowledge them in any way
until a student does. This doesn’t take long. The one in the front of
the classroom doesn’t get noticed first because it’s normally hidden
behind the pull-down screen. It’ll be one to the sides first seen. I
hear it discovered. “What the..hey! There’s a picture of Mr. Robertson
over here!” Eyes immediately go to the picture, then to the opposite
wall, where they find the other. “Hey! He’s over here too!” Quickly they
look to the back of the room and see me staring down at them. “He’s got
pictures all over the place!” They think discoveries are over now.
Where else would a picture be? When I roll up the screen to reveal
number four it gets a delighted scream from the class. “Why do you have
pictures of yourself all over the room?”

“Because I’m always watching you.”

It
isn’t until later that someone finds the one on the ceiling. That’s the
best one. The child is becoming bored with class. He lets his head loll
back. What in the what? “He’s on the ceiling!”

It’s
great. It works all year as parents and other classes come to my room
for various reasons. Keeps me amused. It’s funny to listen to the kids
share it with siblings outside of class. “He’s got pictures of himself
all over! I know, it’s weird, right?”