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12 Sayings of Mother Angelica that Made Me Laugh Out Loud

As many of you probably know by now, Mother Mary Angelica, the founder of the Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN) passed into eternal life yesterday afternoon around 5:00pm. It is fitting that Mother Angelica entered eternal life on the day Our Jesus Christ rose from the dead – Easter Sunday! I found out about her passing as I was sitting on the couch watching the New York Rangers hockey game and looking at Facebook on my iPhone. I knew she had been sick for many years, and although the news is sad, we can also rejoice knowing that she is in the presence of Jesus Christ.

When we get to heaven, there will be many empty seats and many empty mansions, and they’ll stay that way forever because God has destined each of us for our specific degree of glory. My place in heaven is mine. No one else will ever use it or possess it or live in it. If I don’t get there, it will remain empty.”

Last night, after I arrived home from Easter brunch at my Mom’s with family and some new friends that my sister graciously asked to join us, I started thinking if I had any of Mother’s books in my personal library. After searching for only a minute, I came upon the aforementioned book that I referenced above. As I started to thumb through the pages thinking what I could write about, it came to me as I was laughing out loud (you know, LOL) that I could write on some of her funny, yet very truthful sayings.

Why did they make me laugh out loud? Well being in the position I am in as an evangelist (in a parish), sometimes these type of sayings come to mind, but often the filter in my head and mouth does the job a filter is suppose to do. It’s great to see that Mother Angelica not only thought about them, but also said or wrote them “out loud.”

The “little book” was published in 2007 and was edited and has some additional material in it by Raymond Arroyo. The link above will take you to the EWTN catalogue website where you can purchase the book if you so desire.

As I said above, these 12 sayings that I am about to list for you made me laugh out loud. One of them made me laugh so hard, I had to get up and get a drink of water. Although they might make you laugh, as they did me, there is a truth in these sayings that really should make one think. I hope you enjoy them as I did –

1. “The apostles were dodos, dummies. But all the smart people in the world at the time wouldn’t take chances. That is the same problem we have today. The world is looking for intellectuals and the Lord is looking for dummies. That’s why I’m here.”

3. “If you’re breathing and you’ve got two legs, you’re called to holiness.”

4. “Don’t be afraid to get frustrated. Look at me, I take a lot of Maalox. Somebody said to me not long ago, ‘I’m surprised that a woman of such great faith would have to take Maalox.’ I said, ‘My friend, my stomach doesn’t know about my great faith.’”

5. “I’m not here to win friends and influence people. I’m here to do God’s Will. Now, if the accomplishment of that will bugs a lot of people, well, that’s their problem. I can’t help that.”

6. “The apostles wouldn’t pass the seminary today. Heck, I doubt if they’d make it past the psychological screening.”

7. “The sisters say I have the eighth gift of the Holy Spirit: guts!”

8. “When I was a young novice I used to pray in the early morning, ‘Dear Lord, today I am going to be patient come hell or high water.’ And by nine o’clock came hell and high water! I blew it!”

9. “St. Jerome had a terrible temper. He would hit himself with a rock every time he lost his temper. I’d be dead as a doornail, with no ribs, if I did that.”

10. “I went to Confession one time and I told the priest, ‘I lost my temper.’ He said, ‘Keep it, nobody wants it.’ Well, I never said “lost” again because I was afraid I’d get another smart-aleck comment.”

11. “After Mass one day a woman came to me complaining about a priest’s homily. His preaching ability left something to be desired, but then it’s not the Word you listen to, not the way it’s presented. So this woman was complaining and I asked her, ‘How much did you put in the collection?’ She said, ‘A quarter.’ I said, ‘What do you want for a quarter, Bishop Sheen?’”

Lastly, this is the one that forced me to get a drink of water and made me laugh for 3 minutes straight –

12. “If you’re experiencing stress or tension give it to Jesus. Tell Him, ‘I feel like crawling the wall, but I love You and I want to give this to You.’ Do you think our Lord wasn’t tense living with those twelve screwball apostles?”

Mother Angelica’s wit and humor led many people to look at Jesus Christ and His Catholic Church. I imagine she has her mansion in Heaven and it is suited just for her.

I love you Mother Angelica. Thank you for coming into our homes everyday and showing us how to love Jesus and teaching us to do God’s will. You have reached the hearts of millions of people both Catholic and non-Catholic all over the world with your wisdom and humor. I can only imagine what you may have said to Jesus when meeting Him, but I am sure he is still smiling. Thank you again for always saying yes to Jesus. Eternal rest grant onto you oh Lord and may the perpetual light shine upon you always. REST IN PEACE MOTHER MARY ANGELICA… in that Special Place God has set for you in Heaven….

im sure that she is there right now in her mansion with the 12 screwball apostles cracking jokes. love her always. i dont know if i laughed or cried in reading her messages but it surely brings tears and laughter the time when im reading it. till we meet again Mother. but i hope not too soon…

Mother Angelica taught me that miracles happen every day, you just have to open your heart and eyes to Jesus. I have been blessed with many miracles and love Jesus with all my heart. Thank you, Mother Angelica, for teaching me about trust, faith and holiness. I have learned to suffer with stage iv cancer with grace and gratitude because my suffering has brought me even closer to my Jesus. Mother Angelica I love you forever and I know you are with Jesus in the mansion made ready for you. EWTN part of my daily life and I am forever grateful to my Mother Angelica for the gift she shared with the world.

And my gosh, I had no idea about her temper. I think I’ve found my new patron saint. I have had the powerful inclination to pray through her intercession since the moment I heard the news on Sunday. Mother Angelica, pray for us dummies down here!

I have never talk to Rev. Mother Mary Angelica. But she leaves. Us with endellabble finger print on my soul with her infinate graces given to her by the lord she loved unequalled to the trappings of this earth . While. Loving everything that our. lord. Provides in the unsurpassing. Generosity. Of. GOD. NATHAN PUNGITORE FROM NORWOOD MASS

I will never forget one of her quotes, everybody is invited to be a saint, so why miss the opportunity? Mother Angelica had been a voice for the Church which our Lord Jesus Christ found. Yes, she might be a saint someday. Rest in peace Mother Angelica and pray for us who are still struggling on this earth.

She reawakened in me my latent catholocism,which lay dormant for so long. She had that gift of relating to humanity like no other,maybe Bishop Fulton Sheen.She was meant to be who she was and with her sense and knowledge of human beings she made us remember where we came from and reignighted that desire to return to our journey home. I cried sometimes wept and often laughted with her She fought the fight for so many years and now she takes her rightful place next to her heavenly father.We shall always know you and forever remember all you’ve given and all you’ve accomplished. Thank you Rita,also known as our dear Mother Angelica
{I apologize for my misspells}
As the former writer expressed we are all called to be great saints,and surely one day she herself will join the ranks of great saints. We listen and remember

Reblogged this on Circle City Mama and commented:
“When I was a young novice I used to pray in the early morning, ‘Dear Lord, today I am going to be patient come hell or high water.’ And by nine o’clock came hell and high water! I blew it!”

If Mother Angelica could pray for patience and “blow it” by 9 o’clock, that gives me some hope for myself!