Sunday, February 16, 2014

Don't despise your dark days

Linger conference 2014 was great.
My friend and I signed up a couple of months ago for this revival at Watermark Church. I didn't know much about it, but I figured I would give it a try. The conference was held on Valentine's Day weekend, and me being single I knew I wouldn't have any plans.

Fast forward to Friday afternoon. I hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before and only had four hours of sleep (my fault). I knew the kids would be crazy because they were so excited about enrichment and their Valentine's Day party. So I knew. But that didn't help me be patient.
I was tired..
I. Was. Cranky.
Everything they did grated on my nerves. I barely made it through the day and all I wanted to do was go home and take a long nap.

I almost considered skipping the conference but God had a different plan. It was the stop I needed.
JP made an analogy to how olympians train for the Olympics. They train hard, all day. Their goal is gold, they visualize it in their mind and push their body to the limit. He talked to one snowboarder who trains half day on ice, and half on land. He calculates every meal, every workout, and even trains by racing someone on a bike for 600 miles on roller skates. He does this 6 days a week. And when asked what he does on the 7th day, he says nothing. Absolutely nothing. He props up his legs and sits and rests.

The worst thing you can do is overtrain. When you do that, you can only reach 70% of your body's potential. We were made to rest.

I've been tired, physically and mentally because I am not stopping; not lingering. And I've been trying to help others, but how can I do that when I can't even help myself?

Being a Christian doesn't mean my days are easier. I have dark days. I just have the tools necessary to better equip myself if only I am willing to pick them up.

We accept the hand we're dealt because we know the one who deals. And he never deals a bad hand. Ever.

I need to linger in his presence. Give my time, meditate on his word, which I haven't been doing.
That's why all these doubts and trouble have been creeping in. I've been trying to trust myself and do things on my own. But God's worst is better than my good enough.