What do you do if you have too many bogus food inspectors? Why, cancel all food inspections, of course!

Which is exactly what the Russian government is doing. No more food inspections AT ALL until we can cleanse the country of the quacks. That means, starting today, no more fake doctors — or real doctors — or anyone at all, for that matter, inspecting supermarket shelves or the country’s ubiquitous outdoor markets for fake, outdated, or blitzed-up bread, booze, drinking water, fish conserves, meat products, sausages, and salt.

Not that the laws were that strict to begin with. A violation of food safety laws could cost you as much as, blargh!, 1,000 rubles! That’s $30, people! That’s a lot of money in a town where a tub of yogurt will set you back at least that much!

Now, store owners will simply have to fill out an honor-system declaration stating that, cross their hearts, their produce is fresh, their drinking water contains little to no arsenic, and their fish conserves aren’t flush with anaerobic bacteria. In the meantime, Russian authorities will firm up the inspection codes, and we’ll be seeing a lot more of this.