BBC to be more honest with programme titles

In continuing efforts to restore trust in the BBC, programme makers are looking into the possibility of using titles that more accurately reflect the programme contents.

A spokesperson for the BBC said that title changes already under consideration include replacing 'Top Gear' with 'Three Big Kids Dicking Around in Cars', and renaming 'Coast' to 'Enthusiastic Scottish Man Waves His Arms Around a Lot', whilst 'EastEnders' will almost certainly become, 'Moaning Gits'.

Not to be outdone, ITV has announced a new series of 'I Used To Be a Celebrity - Resurrect My Career'. Other possibilities include, 'People Who Can't Actually Skate Walking Rhythmically on Ice', and, 'Jamie's Two And a Half Hour Meals'.

A decision has yet to be made as to whether 'Crimewatch' should be replaced with 'schadenfreude', or 'Crimes That Make For Good TV'.