Morrissey

After being mocked on last night’s (February 26) episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! for canceling his scheduled appearance to protest the cast of Duck Dynasty being booked on the same show, singer Morrissey has fired back at the late-night talk show.

In a bold new interview, singer Morrissey has spoken out on the subject of war, listing it among “heterosexual hobbies.” Morrissey made the shocking statements while speaking to teen-girl website Rookie via email when asked which political causes mattered most to him during his own teenage years.

Los Angeles Morrissey fans collectively rolled their eyes today as their temperamental superhero announced he’d be canceling Tuesday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! performance. It isn’t the “smell of burning flesh” like 2009’s Coachella Festival that will force the singer away. It’s stars of A&E’s reality television program Duck Dynasty that will keep the former Smiths frontman from taking the stage.

Morrissey fans are a glutton for abuse. The singer’s tours have been famously plagued with cancellations. His latest string of canceled concerts began with the singer’s desire to be by his ailing mother’s side. The next set of shows went up in smoke due to a bleeding ulcer, not surprising for a man that caries the weight of the world on his shoulders.

According to a statement from the singer’s publicist, Morrissey hopes to reschedule six canceled U.S. dates including Asheville, NC; Nashville, TN; Atlanta, GA, Lawrence, KS; Clear Lake, IA; and Lincoln, NB.

After being forced to postpone a U.S tour last year after his mother fell ill, legendary British singer Morrissey launched his rescheduled American jaunt with a rousing and dramatic performance of “Action is My Middle Name” on Late Night with David Letterman last night (January 8).

In overly dramatic and self-loathing news, Morrissey was attacked by a dog while in England. Details on the incident are scarce, but we have received word that the quiff-haired animal rights activist will release a song documenting the incident, loosely titled “Lady and The Trampled My Heart.”