What
if Snape hadn't been really following anyone of his masters but a
stronger, mysterious inspiration? A dark tribute to the ambiguous
Snape we used to know. HBP compliant.

Disclaimer:
I don't obviously own the characters in this story, even if I would
like to.

PLEASE
READ THE INTRODUCTION BEFORE GOING ON!

I
know that introductions are always skipped, but I believe this one is
important. It's quick anyway, and it won't take too much time.

Just
two words of presentation: I'm Italian, and this will probably help
you understand why some expressions may still sound awkward or odd in
spite of all the corrections my wonderful betas have made to this
story. I hope you will anyway enjoy the ideas, if not the style.

This
is the first HP story I wrote and it was written during year 2006.
When book 6 arrived in Italy (January 2006), I learned that Snape had
killed Dumbledore, and the thought was terrifying! Dumbledore had
been one of my favourite characters for such a long time! And I
couldn't believe that Snape was evil...

Waiting
to know the truth, I decided to try my own invention. So, I imagined
the Plan: a dark, cruel narration expressing all my anguishes and
hopes, a novel featuring an ambiguous Severus, exactly the one about
whom we had been left wondering at the end of book 6.

This
story has 8 chapters and is completed. I plan (that's the right
word!) to post a chapter every three or four days so to finish it in
a month time.

This
novel is dedicated to all the HP fanfiction readers, in particular to
the ones who would dare to write their own novels… but haven't
tried yet.

Thank
you for following my thoughts till here. Have
a good reading and, if you want, let me know your comments.

1. Feelings

"What
would a man be without his soul?"

The
Plan was burning his mind, consuming his thoughts, ripping his flesh
with sharp claws, devouring his bones slowly and insidiously. The
Plan had been controlling him for almost half his existence, filling
his days with challenges and haunting his nights with doubts. The
Plan had claimed his life when he was only eighteen and had joined
the Dark Lord. So young and so confident he was in his glorious
destiny! But he was soon to be disappointed, because the Plan had
other intentions for him, ones more obscure and dangerous than he
could possibly imagine.

The
Plan had been holding him in a forceful grip, leaving him no choice
but to keep roaming its mysterious paths. He had felt its chilled
touch the night the Potters were killed, the night the whole
wizarding world had been rearranged. He had been aware of its silent
paws following him in close pursuit when he had left his evil master
to join Dumbledore, seeking oblivion in the quiet darkness of the
castle's dungeons.

For
eleven years, The Plan had been sleeping in his heart and in his
mind… until Harry Potter reached Hogwarts with a gaggle of little
witches and wizards. That same night, taking a look at the famous
Potter – and his even more famous scar – while the child was
eating his first dinner in the Great Hall, he felt a short, sudden,
acute pain. He had instantly known there was no hope… The Plan had
awoken and was lurking inside him, breathing in his chest, following
the rhythm of his heartbeat.

The
days, the weeks, the months that followed painfully confirmed his
initial feelings. The Plan that had waited mutely for so many years
was now roaring at full voice. Its claws were gripping harder and
harder, and this was getting stronger each time the Potter boy came
near him.

The
last two years had been a continuous challenge, an incessant battle
to survive, his body and mind divided in two parts. He had allies in
each of them, friends nowhere; his fate was to be always alone, eyed
in suspicion either by the members of the Order of the Phoenix or by
his former fellow Death Eaters, especially the ones who survived
Azkaban.

Only
two men had decided to trust him completely… or so they declared:
the Dark Lord and Albus Dumbledore.

Now,
wasn't it funny that he had been able to convince the leaders but
not the followers? Were they simply jealous of their masters'
confidence in him, or were they merely afraid of the man's power?
Because indeed he was growing more and more powerful. Secrets,
missions and decisions were constantly entrusted in his hands, his
actions fully known only by himself… and his loyalties deeply
hidden in his soul.

He had
then served his two masters, developing a complicated web of lies and
secrets, forgetting his real identity and creating a new one
according to circumstances. However, in spite of the contempt, the
envy, even the hatred that was surrounding him, he had been secretly
pleased. And why shouldn't he be? The two greatest wizards of
Britain were relying upon his judgement.

Albus
Dumbledore was always asking for his advice and so was the Dark Lord.
The balance between Light and Darkness was resting on his shoulders.
No woman, no family, no property had been permitted to him, but he
had never regretted his choice. Either he had to kneel and kiss the
hem of the Dark Lord's cloak or walk in conversation with
Dumbledore, with the old man's weak, blue-veined hand trustfully
resting on his shoulder.

He was
untouchable, because The Plan was watching over him.

Yet he
was beginning to feel uncomfortable. The Plan was still flowing in
his veins with power he could not contain, but while he never seemed
to lose control, inside he felt like he was walking on a sheet of ice
that was getting thinner and thinner. There were too many unknowns
entering the equation, too many pieces ready to make a move on the
chessboard, and more importantly, Harry Potter was amongst them.

Potter,
who had held the Philosopher's Stone in his hands, having no desire
to possess it. Potter, who had fought and slain the Basilisk when he
was only twelve. Potter, who had participated in the Triwizard
Tournament against older competitors and won. And Potter, who had
faced the born-again Dark Lord and survived his fury, standing by
Cedric Diggory's dead body.

But
also, Potter, who was always breaking rules and never paying for his
indiscretions. Potter, who was the living image of his hateful father
and was proud of it. Potter, who was stubborn, exasperating,
undisciplined and careless, but no one ever seemed to notice.

Potter,
who was the centre of the Dark Lord's thoughts and efforts. Potter,
who year after year had gained Albus' respect, admiration and
finally affection. The Chosen One, the living menace with his "one
and only guardian of The Plan" status. Perhaps the only one he
should have really feared…

However,
he knew the boy's weak points too well to be truly alarmed. The
Plan had been so completely intertwined with his own life that he had
always refused to imagine it could ever go on without him.

But The
Plan that was always with him, sharing each moment of his days and
nights, was a passionate lover that could unexpectedly turn into a
wild animal. Sometimes he asked himself what had really happened when
Narcissa Malfoy had pleaded with him to take the Unbreakable Vow. Was
The Plan trying to bind him even more harshly? Or had The Plan
unexpectedly unbound and revealed itself as an uncontrollable,
monstrous creature? He didn't like the idea that things were
slipping from his hands. Even worse, he couldn't stand the thought
that somehow The Plan was going to desert him, denying him the future
of power and glory for which he had been working so hard.

Facing
his doubts every day had become a rather unbearable burden, yet he
had obstinately carried on. For Severus Snape was a man of honour.
Severus Snape was a man of pride. Severus Snape was a man of action.

Nevertheless, even if he
hated to admit it, Severus Snape was still a human being. Sometimes,
when the hours of the night were darker than he could stand, his hand
had involuntarily slipped towards the little leather bag where the
powerful powder of dream and death was carefully conserved. But
immediately, with a deep sigh of frustration, he had blamed himself
for his cowardice and forced himself to defy the darkness. And then,
as memories and words and sounds were flowing through his mind in an
incessant stream, he had closed his eyes in agony, suppressing his
thoughts and allowing The Plan to envelop him in its cold embrace.

Acknowledgments

I would like to
thank all the many friends who have kindly accepted to read and
revise my work. It's mainly their fault my effort has finally been
posted here.

So,
thanks to Phoenix
and Zen
Lady, who
gave a lot of useful suggestions on the first chapters and encouraged
me to post.

An
immense "thank you" with all my gratitude to Jynx67,
who checked, corrected and adjusted the whole story at least three
times!

Many
thanks also to Pennfana,
who added her interesting comments, and to Overhill
for her highly valued opinions.

And
finally, many infinite thanks to Notsosaintly
who, with her patient, thorough revision and friendly support,
definitely gave wings to my piece.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.