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Your Daily Muslim: Anas Alatrash

Anus Allah-Trash is a typical Palestinian terrorist. However, instead of using conventional Palestinian methods such as throwing rocks or shooting rockets at Israelis, Allah-Trash decided it would be more fun to get stabby. He approached an Israeli checkpoint near Bethlehem which was guarded by numerous Israeli soldiers. Then it got bloody.

Allah-Trash pulled out a knife and started screaming (likely “Allahu Akbar”) and running at the soldiers, who told him to stop moving. The Muslim’s fanatical charge was undeterred by words, however, and the soldiers were forced to pump him full of lead. The Muslim died as yet another “martyr” for the bloodthirsty god Allah. However, much to his disappointment, there were no virgins waiting for him after his demise.

In the days before his “martyrdom operation,” Allah-Trash posted numerous messages on Facebook suggesting he planned on killing himself. “We belong to…