Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's nearly 1 p.m. here in the Ozarks. I have no idea what I'm gonna do for the ticking down of the year tonight. I'm afraid I'm remarkably predictable on the "falling asleep early" thing.

My husband and I talked at his break and he asked me what I had planned for tonight. I let out one of those gasping laughs. I mean, really...I'd like to have something whiz-bang up my sleeve, but invariably, it will be the one night I fall asleep early without a sleeping pill. I have no control over that...unless I'm out listening to a live band or something.

But the night life in our area, uh, kinda sucks. We live next to Branson. It's a town famed for its g-rated entertainment. Wayne whatshisface (Newton) came from Vegas, started a show, and they sent him packing. Told him to cover his show girls or take it back to the strip...which he did pretty quickly.

So, what's offered here? We got us a Baldknobbers show. It's out by 10. There's a band called Big Smith, not too bad, if you like jazz and horns. (I do. I like everything but mariachi and screaming guitars.)

I really want the warped tour to do a show here on New Years. I could stay up for that.

What sort of music do you like best? (Remember, responding by posting just about anything on this blog gets you entered into the next drawing or two.)

For years, I would fall asleep listening to Dick Clark's countdown at Time Square, and wake up to my husband's sweet lips kissing me, like Prince Charming leaning over Sleeping Beauty. It was very romantic, and dreamy (from my viewpoint, anyway.)

I remember when I was a little girl, my mom went to bed early and my dad stayed up with us older kids. He taught us the silliest thing ever, I think. He convinced us that it was an old American tradition to take a spoon and beat a metal pan out the door, so others in your neighborhood knew you were ringing in the new year.

Year after year, my older brother and I carried on this stupid tradition. One year, right before midnight, we were ready and set with pans and spoons in hand and I said, "You ever think about the fact that Dad was raised on a farm and never had neighbors close enough to hear him beating on pans?"

He chuckled and said, "Yeah. And notice no one EVER beats on pans besides us?"

We felt pretty ridiculous, knowing we'd been had. Not once or twice, but several years in a row. It was just about that time that Dick Clark (always Dick Clark!) did the countdown and, while we were standing there staring at each other over the whole thing, lo and behold, some other poor sucker beat a pot with a spoon as hard as they could, yelling "Happy New Year!" as we had done for the last few years.

With glee and giggling, we started hitting our pans with gusto, yelling louder than ever before.

Dad, who was getting too old to stay up, I guess, was sent to hush us up. By mom, obviously.

He came out of the bedroom and said, "I thought you kids would have figured out my joke by now."

But the funniest thing was his expression when we stopped beating the pans and he could hear our neighbor really "ringing it up."

We all laughed.

The next school day, I mentioned to my brother that I'd told people all over school that it was a HOOSIER tradition and that we were probably the only ones still doing it. Just us and one other person in our whole neighborhood had true hoosier spirit. (I was born and raised in Indiana.)

The next year, I swear, there were a lot more than two or three of us ringing in the new year poor boy style.

Now, I have carried the tradition on with my kids but they came to a point where they, too, realized I was putting them on. And that it was a bad joke straight from their silly grandpa. He's a total "Inspector Clusoe type of humor" guy.

His idea of a joke is..."You hear about the serial killer? They caught him." (pause) "He was easy to recognize. Had a Cheerios box on his head and a spoon in his hand."

Yeah. That's what I grew up with.So, when my daughter Cheyenne told me the joke, "What's brown and sticky?"The answer being "A stick. DUH."I laughed and laughed.I was warped by my dad. What can I say?

Anyhow, I think I'm thinking about him because his birthday's coming up, January 2nd. And he actually called me for Christmas to tell me he loved me. And before he hung up, he mentioned that he figured he had to get going so he could call the rest of the kids. Which means he called me first.

It's silly to let that cheer me up, and make me smiley, but hey...we get what we can out of whatever is offered. Right?

Okay, so back to the other story. My dad taught me the pan beating thing. Some things you're taught never seem to slip out of your memory. I'll probably be senile and alzheimered out one day, but remember I should be beating on a pan with a spoon in the middle of the night...for some reason that will elude me completely.

Anyhow, as you know, I have four girls. They set me straight one year when I tried to get them to sit like roosting hens in a neat little row, ready by the door with their pots and spoons.

"Uh uh," the oldest (smart aleckiest one) said. "The real tradition is kissing someone when it turns midnight. Dad does it all the time. This pot and spoon business is just your way to keep us from going out on New Year's or watching the action...which we think is almost creepy when you two do it, by the way."

I had my defense.

"It's a scary night to be out. Crazy drunks are everywhere. You're lucky this is all we do."

I still believe it's better to beat a pot and pan and look silly out your back door than be out in the melee.

I once spent New Year's Eve on Fremont Street in Las Vegas before they put the Fremont Experience overhead light deal up. I remember standing under the canopy of the Gold Nugget with the rest of the crowd surging forward to watch fireworks overhead.

Some dumb nut brainless wonder threw his damned beer bottle over us. Just slung the thing. It flew in slow motion, spewing shook up beer in a shower, and I swear...it came down with a clunk and a bunch of us squealing versions of "Look out!"

A woman was hit in the head. Next, blood spewed everywhere. Nothing bleeds like a head wound, except a main artery.

We decided to get out of the crowd and head to our car. My husband always chooses to beat the crowd to the cars or sit them out and be the last one to leave the parking lot. On this night, he was hiking fast. Traffic had been blocked off for several city blocks and we went hot footing it to the car--in time to see a couple guys taking swings at each other. Drunken, loud mouth taunting stuff...it was silly foolish. Swaggering like John Waynes, throwing out "I'm gonna kill yous," before it was a felony anger management charge.

Cops were circling but not interfering, since they had those scary beer bottles in hand. New Year's in Vegas used to allow booze carrying down the street WITHOUT a bag. I dunno what you can get away with there now. Anybody know?

Now, I'm not saying people shouldn't enjoy a New Year's night out, or have a bit of bubbly (or another favorite beverage) to help the evening seem a little rosier. BUT, I say watch out for yourself. Be responsible. Get a designated driver, if you're under the influence and need to get from one point to another. Call a taxi. Call a church. Pull out your cell and dial a non drinker. A lot of places do the "free ride home" thing for the inebriated on holidays like this.

Just don't put your own life, or someone else's in danger. I don't have enough fans, friends, family, or flyby readers to lose one of you for something like dui.

Did I mention that 90% of all fatalities in Missouri come from people crossing the center line? THIS is not the night for people in Missouri to press their luck.

And no. I haven't taken up preaching, what with the political rants of this last week and this DUI discussion, I'm sure you're wondering. I'll get over all of it when the holidays pass. Seriously, I only handle a couple of options during the holidays--get depressed and think about alternatives to living, or bother the people I care about over issues they don't really want to hear me talk on. Sorry. It's this or talking about depression, shelters for abused women, separation, divorce, and the damned four letter word we all hate-- DIET.

I'm more interested in you being around to enjoy the gift certificate I'm going to pull this evening, or the one I'm going to draw tomorrow.

Just chip in a HI, or a "Hey, what's up?" Or a real comment to something I've rambled about here. Anything will get you into the drawing. Feel free to email me with your choice of where you'd like your gift certificate to be from. Must be something that is online and easy for me to send you an e-gift certificate, so you can order from the convenience of your home. I'm not making anybody go out for this win!

And one last question, if you had to pick the perfect song besides Auld Lang Syne to ring the New Year in with, what would it be? And if you were gonna be kissing somebody, who would it be?

I'm going traditional. I'd pick my husband, Tony, and play our song (which he picked after years of me saying, "Can't you think of one song that is perfect for us?)...which is Alison Krauss's When You Say Nothing At All.

4 Comments:

I love the oldies from the 50's,60's and 70's. But I found a new group, I guess they aren't new. IL Divo, they are 4 men from 4 different countries. They are opera singes. Here is a link to a utube video. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YtrnB4FZ-yc&feature=related. They are singing Amazing Grace.And it is amazing. Makes you want to cry..I like Michael Bolton, Barry Manilow, Kenny G and Air Supply.I know Kay loves the Eagles.I can't think of any song for New Year's Eve.An old neighbor used to bang pans at New Year's Eve and we hated it.. We were asleep. So you and your family are in the same league with her. We didn't like her so much. She was a very nosy lady..UPS delivered one of our packages to her by mistake..She opened it, It was some french condoms and other sex toys from Adam and Eve's.. I hope she got her eyes full. She also would go out and start scooping snow as soon as it starting falling.. We had gotten several inches and David went out to clean the driveway. She came out and said it is about time. DAvid put down the shovel and never cleaned the driveway again.Have a good night and I will be kissing my husband. He is the very BEST.

Carys, it's great that you have traditions for the New year no matter how crazy your daughters think they are now. Because at least your girls will remember them and have stories to tell later in life. Our family had no traditions and I have no memory of New Years as a child.

Good luck keeping the girls in on New Year's Eve, it sounds like you're in for a fight with each passing year. Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year's Eve celebration!

P.S. I'll sent you an e-mail so you know where to send the GC to me. Thanks again!

I won an Il Divo cd in a basket at RT a couple of years ago. I had never heard of them until then.

As for your neighbor, I had to laugh. I'm assuming she brought your sex toys over after she got done making mental notes?

Dare I ask...was your New Year's Eve kiss...great?

I always say, "Survived another year. Hope the next one will be better." Always doing the neverending resolutions, you know.

And, Sue...it IS good to have traditions and memories that make you laugh, or roll your eyes and wince, maybe. Since I was raised with two sisters and two brothers, I had way too many of the latter. Do you have brothers and sisters?

The Kiss was great, they always are. It's hard to believe it will be 39 years this May. It seems like yesterday.

I have 2 1/2 brothers and one sister.. Yes, I know 1/2 brother, my mother was married before my Dad married her.. And the 1/2 brother and his three sons could be on the Jerry Springer Show..

Yes, my neighbor returned the package and everything was there.. We got her back..When we sold our house to move to where we are now, we used a different real estate person than her husband.. He had his sign in front of his house and we had a different real estate sign.. He removed it soon after we had our sign put up. He was a very nice man. I know we are terrible.. But I am a change person now. HAHA!!!!!

We are still babysitting the grandkids. David is ready to past the torch.The kids will be back in school next week.. Hurray!!! I love them but 12 hours a day for 3 full days.Need a break. I am trying to work on computers also.Well back to work.

The title of your new books sounds great, "smooch".Oh, I found your book, plan on reading it this weekend. It wasn't in the trailer but in my bookcase of to be read books in the basement. Thanks to Kay and Rt I have a to be read bookcase full of books. Never had that problem before Kay came into my life.. She is such a good friend. I thank God for the good friends I have in my life now.