Making everyone happy is impossible. Pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Nightmare Ticket

The Beeb are describing a pairing of David Cameron and Ken Clarke as a "dream ticket". They must be insane.

No one in their right mind is going to vote for a Tory party headed by Ken Clarke. Why? Essentially, because he is insane, and here's my reasoning:

Ken Clarke believes in the EU, and believes that Britain should be in it.

No one in their right mind believes the EU is a good thing.

Therefore, Ken Clarke is mad. QED.

One could take it further, and say that he is not, in fact, a conservative. My reasons?

Ken Clarke believes in the EU.

The EU's philosophy is that of micromanagement of the population by the state.

A conservative believes in personal liberty, business as the engine of wealth, light regulation, and in small government—the agents of which are servants of those who elect them—which is always able to act in the best interests of the people who elect them (i.e. not being tied by diktats from Brussels).

Therefore, Ken Clarke is not a conservative. QED. He is, however, mad.

That all seems pretty simple,eh?

Mr Clarke, 65, who Mr Cameron said was a "huge figure" in Tory politics, says he will run if he thinks he can win.

Mr Clarke is a huge figure in Tory politics. About 20 stone huge, I'd say. And since Mr Clarke has absolutely failed to win the leadership twice so far, what makes him think that he can win this time?

The rules will not be finalised for the leadership contest until late next month, although Conservative MPs have already voted for a system where they, rather than party members, get to choose the leader.