We have entered some dark days here. Now that Chou Anime has closed its doors, how am I going to get my anime maid experience in a dangerous and dilapidated area? How can I continue to feel just like Naruto when I can’t wear my finest anime garments and protect my MLP plush as we enter the elegant halls of cosplay and chai tea? Well, until my loan agreement clears for my Yaoi Butler Cafe in East Oakland, we’ll have to make due with the Anime Weekend AtlantaImperial Maid Cafe. Let’s take a look at the glorious maids and butlers that will help you relax your morbidly obese feet.

Did you purchase Neurowear’s previous brain-wave controlled accessory and fail to completely alienate your friends and family? Well, Neurowear has got you covered with their new product: Shippo!

Now, everyone can visually identify you as a person to actively ignore and avoid when your butt starts wagging in the manga section at Barnes & Noble. The shippo item is still in the prototype stage, but be sure to keep an eye on it and get your pre-orders in (XXL and XXL only).

Everyone loves the start of a new year. It’s a chance to reassess your priorities and work on improving yourself physically and mentally. You can also just be a fat greasy animal and squeeze yourself into the local anime convention like an all-consuming cancer. Let’s take a look at what some of the upcoming cons are offering: