Hurul-Ayni

Saturday, March 28, 2009

This week was an interesting one to say the least. After my workout, or lack thereof on Sunday, I was ready to give up on training for this 5k. Tuesday, I did my usual walk/run at the park and it was good, but Thursday, I think I finally had my breakthrough. Don't ask me what changed in my mind, but for some reason, before I started, I told myself that stopping was not an option.

One book that I am reading really helped me. It is written by a woman who ran a full marathon. (Much more than anything I am doing) But it is great because she puts everything in perspective and on top of that she has a sense of humor. I recommend it to anyone who is starting anything new like running, or any other sport. It has really inspired me to continue with my training.

Now back to Thursday....

Usually, I would at least walk for a bit after the first mile and a half and then finish the run. I just kept going and would not let my body stop. Yay for me! I am so proud of myself. I finished in 28 minutes. (Yeah, I know that is a long time for 3 miles, but hey running 3 miles without stopping is a little challenging when you have never done it before).

This morning, I woke up and looked out the window. One part of me was telling me to stay in the house because it was just going to rain anyway the other part said, "well if you hurry up and go, maybe you can beat the rain." The bed was feeling so good too but I started to feel guilty and got up anyway.

After my warm up of walking for a couple of minutes and ritual bathroom stop, (Don't ask me why I always have to pee before I run. That trail is pretty big and I would not want to get caught having to use the bathroom on the other side of the lake. That would be a site for the ducks!) I went to the start line, told myself this is it, and ran for 3 miles nonstop! Now that is awesome, 2 days of this!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

When I came in last during that race in the eight grade you could not have paid me to step foot on the track again or compete in any sport that required me to put in all the effort and all the attention was focused on me for those few seconds. Sure, playing volleyball was great, and basketball was fun because we had to win together. Fifteen years later....here I am, trying to become a runner.

Whether it be due to a lack of confidence or ridicuous need to compare myself to others, I never attempted to run again. Now, at the age of 28, I feel like it is something I can do but it is so difficult. I think that trying to run is one of the most hardest things I have ever done. When I step on the trail, I am alone. The physical pain and the mental confidence that is required of a runner is definitely a skill that must be learned. But for some reason, I can't quit. Some days are good while others are not so good. But each day that rolls around, when it is time for me to run....I get up and go.

Maybe it is because I committed to running a 5k which I could easily bail out on. I don't know what it is but I know I am not going to give up. For some reason I think this is life's little way of teaching me more patience and strength (mental/physical). Whatever it may be, I know that I am on a run, on a path to great things.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

You know, I am thankful for Facebook. One of my friends told me that she came across my blog somehow on the internet and she realized that it was me who was writing. She asked me when I was going to start writing in my blog again and said that what she read was pretty good. I then asked myself, "why did you stop writing anyway?"

At one point I said that I was going to write a book and enter a contest and do all sorts of things. But then what happened....? I got a different job, started graduate school, worked a part-time job (which I recently quit...hallelujah!) and just got caught up in the daily grind. The life that everyone lives with thier loved ones, putting off their dreams to the side or just forgetting about them all together. BUT, thanks to the lovely technology of Facebook, I am inspired to write again!

You know, it is the simple things in life, like a small nudge from someone that keeps us going. Thanks girl! You know who you are:)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This morning, I stopped by Walgreens on my way to work. All the while, trying to pep myself up for my day at work. My job is not the most exciting job in the world, (being a librarian)but I really do like it. I am a provider of information, and we all know that knowledge is power. Therefore, my access to knowledge produces power in those that I help. However, my mind cannot rationalize not having specific tasks to work on that keep me busy throughout the day. While thinking about this, I found myself coming up with reasons why I may not like parts of my job. This is my problem. Deceptive Reasoning. I am talking myself into having negative thoughts for no good reason at all. No matter, what the benefits are of my position, I manage to find a few "negative aspects."I always find something wrong with a job. This could be why after a certain period of time, I get bored, or feel like I have accomplished everything there is to accomplish.

But, back to the story of my short trip into Walgreens.

I went to pick up some "Wal-born." (Walgreens version of Airborn, which by the way, works just as well. )At 7:30 in the morning most people are still waking up, but the cashier at Walgreens was extremely friendly. She did not look like she was unhappy and did not want to be there. Perhaps she was unhappy, but maybe she was thankful to have a job, and maybe she saw the benefits of working there that outweigh some of the negative. Witnessing her positive attitude made me realize that I have nothing to worry about. Whatever fears and excuses I have about my current position, really are just the causatum of my deceptive reasoning.

Have you ever done this? Talked your way out of your fantasies, dreams and goals. Found the negative despite the positive? We all have done it at one point or another.Today my challenge is not to let deceptive reasoning hold me back any longer. Our minds contain the soil from which seeds are cultiviated to produce an abundant life. In order for this to happen, our minds have to generate nourishing thoughts...no more deceptive reasoning.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore is not an act but a habit."-Aristotle

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I often wonder about the state of "black folks" in America. Just when I think that maybe we have made some progress, I realize that we have quite a long way to go. This morning, I was at the gym and a lady came up to me and asked me how to do a certain exercise. I showed her and then we began talking. I told her that I was new to the area and did not really know anyone, then we started talking about Georgia and "it's ways." This particular part of Georgia is almost 60% African-American. The poverty rate is so high, that a major car company decided not to build a plant here, which would have created a ton of jobs for people in the area. They basically said that people here are not smart enough for us to bring our plant here. As we are talking about this and other "black issues," the woman states, "you really have to stay prayed up if you want to make it in this state." Meaning, you have to pray to God that you make it and hope for the best. I found this statement to be very interesting.

If we could actually hear the voice of God, I doubt that it would say, "stay prayed up and hope for the best." I think it would say, "get off your lazy ass and make a difference." The slave mentality has allowed us to accept the state of our current condition. As long as we believe that there is hope in the after-life, we care less about what happens while we are present in our physical beings. The farther south one travels, the more this mind set becomes quite evident. Accept the way things are and hope they will get better. I become heart broken when I think about the way some people are living. People are working full-time jobs and still living on welfare, babies are born and being tracked for a system of violence, jail and drugs by the time they are 3 years old. Students in school are slipping through the cracks , and teachers are becoming frustrated with behavior problems and pressure from administration.

All we can say is "stay prayed up?" I have never in my life observed so many people in one area that seem to be clueless about their condition and that don't realize there is something better out in the world. I also wonder about how I would be if I grew up in a different place and I did not have parents who cared about my education, were educated themselves and dared me to come home with bad grades.....would I be saying the same thing the woman at the gym said? I guess only God knows...meanwhile, I will pray, not to sit around, wait and hope for the best, but for the endurance that I need to have to continue my journey on the road to a better life each and everyday. I want my life to be extraordinary while I am alive to see it! Don't you?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Those grapes rung up at $1.88/lb. I know the sign said $1.50/lb. who cares about 38 cents anyway? Me! In my former life, I would have let it go and paid the difference. Even though I used to work at Wal-Mart, (my favorite store) so I know how screwed up the signs can be!The grapes were the last items that she rung up. It was like a slow motion action scene. My eyes widened as I saw $4.23, flash across the computer screen. You would have thought it said, $423.00. I calmly stated, "the sign says 1.50/lb, not 1.88/lb. If that is what they are ringing, I don't want them." The cashier non chalantly said, "they are 1.88/lb," without checking anything! I don't know what made me think that she would care. The couple in front of me forgot to pay for an eye glass case that the husband was holding in his hand and they admitted it. you would have thought the cashier was personally insulted by the way she rolled her eyes at them. She apparently had a problem with honesty, like so many people do.Well, I did not want the people in line to gang up on me and it was starting to grow by the minute. I backed down and had her take them off of my ticket. My total bill came to $7.15! This is when I realized two very important things.1. I am finally at the point where I am sticking to a very tight budget2. I am so broke!Anyone who sends back grapes over a 38 cent difference is crazy right? Now my mind starts replaying all of the events in my life that led me up to this point. Starting with the most recent decision of putting my boyfriend out, paying his mother's cell phone bill, sharing a car for years, and indebting myself to the IRS. On top of this, running up credit cards, and spending money with no rhyme or reason.I don't feel ashamed one bit to put this out there. I have nothing to hide. Even as I write this, I know that people will judge me for my past actions. Oh well! For me, this is opening up a door to success. In fact, I am proud of myself. I figure, hey, maybe it can help whoever is reading it. This little 38 cents revelation opened up a wound to a lot of memories that I wish could be erased. In the past, these little annoying things called tears would have welled up and rolled down my cheeks, or shame would have kept me from speaking about it. On my drive home, from the store, I realized that I have two choices.I can wallow in my own filthy misery, or I can make an instant change. I choose the latter. Thank you to the cashier at Wal-Mart for this revelation! I'll come back through one day when I have an extra 38 cents:)!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

On my quest this morning to find an appropriate activity for International Children's Day, I came across an interesting article. First let me explain "International Children's Day." A day started by the United Nations to "promote ideas and the charter of welfare for chldren around the world." http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/children_day/

My objective for the month of November, is to conduct a program for the library that will integrate these ideals...I ran across an article while searching through Google. It is basically an article discussing whether or not "the right to water" is recognized as basic human right! Some places do not believe this to be the case.

In my ignorance, I just assumed that water was something that was a given. Who would question the fact that as a human, we need clean water to survive! Recognizing clean water as a human right would put an obligation on some international governments to provide it! Check out the article further if you are interested..http://www.unac.org/en/library/unacresearch/2007RightToWater_e.pdf

The next time you turn your faucet on to sip on that cool drink of water, think about the people in the world who do not have a faucet.The next time you complain about the funny taste of the water from the sink, think about the children who don't have a toilet.The next time you complain about your water not getting hot, think about the mothers who can't bathe thier babies.Do we have a right to water.....