I figure I should have some real writeup, some real explanation of the things that I saw preceding the ingestion, since I never really wrote anything, only scrambled confusion of a person who didn’t even know their own name. At the time of the report my mind was accelerated and heightened, my world was crumbling and shifting and swirling around me, everything was swaying and convulsing in the most gorgeous way I could ever imagine, but I know there is still more to be found. When I put the two tabs into my mouth I was ready for something unknown, something scary, something different, I was ready to be sucked into a portal of confusion and doubt, of fear and ecstasy, I was ready to face the monsters and demons locked away deep in the far recesses of my brain, but this was not what I received. What I received was majestic, was soft but fierce, was riveting.

I didn’t dab until the nausea was gone, the visuals started later this time, but the physical effects began looming over me after nine or so minutes. The numbing came before the visuals, which started probably 18 minutes after ingestion, and right before the nausea got too bad for me to sit upright. I fled to my room, to the safety and the quiet of my little enclosed place, remembering the afternoon I spent reeling and shaking from the melting surfaces and dark nosed men and women who sifted through my terrors when I consumed 6g of cubensis caps. This was different, the physical effects left me uncomfortable, but not as bad as last time, I didn’t puke. I rolled about in my bed for a good twenty minutes, waiting for it to pass, my mind still clear, still logical, still coherent. I was messaging friends, the screen on my phone was like water, with the text painfully engraved in the LED strips bulging and drifting from their rightful places. It looked like the surface of alphabet soup, letters started drifting out of line, into the upper reaches of the searing whiteness, which permeated with rainbow waves that surged up the surface. When I stood up the nausea had not quite yet passed, I was not as limber as I am usually, the body high felt too light and not all-encompassing, not yet. It had spread to my legs and my arms, but not to my chest, which still stood heavy above my quaking limbs. I sat at my desk, my monitor bending and my shades flashing and flowing with bright colors, the light shown through the cracks illuminating my apartment with such golden beauty that I almost started crying. I dabbed, waited for about ten minutes, collected my things, and set out to explore the home that had once stood stationary and indifferent to my existence.

This is what I love about psychedelics, this moment, when I open the door and the light floods my pupils and suddenly the world is changed, vivaciously altered, teeming with blinking lights and swinging creatures. At first things didn’t look different, I was disappointed, everything was still the same color, but then I noticed it, in the distance, the world was upside down. Like a spiral the sidewalk and street shifted up and over my head, looming in the distance, rocking back and forth, turned to squiggled blacks and shifting patterns. The sky, blue and empty, breathed and moaned under the heat of the sun, which emanated a spiral of blues and oranges and yellows, meshing and mingling into mesmerising spindled patterns. Beaming and leading me on, the sun was stationary somehow, stuck smack dab in the middle of this wormhole I found myself stepping down. As if the landscape was a sheet of paper and someone had picked it up and twisted it into a tube, the other side of the sidewalk leaped above me, unwelcoming and cutting me off. A woman was walking towards me, I couldn’t tell what she looked like, draped in this bulging purple dress (shirt? hoodie? cape? skin?) she waddled towards me, her face bending and bulging, eyes turning to diamond encrusted spirals, turning and blinking in the looming brightness. When she passed, her side bulged out into my space, and I had to step away to avoid her running into me, she even gave me a crooked, toothy smile, which ran from ear to ear, splitting her sweaty face in two. I grimaced, tried to ignore it, focused on the road in front of me.

I passed a man who seemed statuesque, anchored there to the ground, waiting for a bus, a book in one hand, which I assumed to contain the entirety of this traveler’s life, his beard morphing and shifting into different colors and shapes, curling around his eyes and ears, protruding in an abnormal fashion outward, it reached for me, I could see every individual hair, every individual speck of skin on his youthful face. His eyes, they were pits, guarded by gleaming sunglasses, which were wavy on his face. I passed him in seconds, he looked at me, but I not at him. It was time to cross the street into the curling sidewalk, to turn entirely upside down. The, now rising and falling, sea of concrete and greenery before me, folding infinitely inwardly into the distance, I now knew that I controlled the wormhole, that I WAS the wormhole. A car passed, I jumped, it was terrifying, screaming passed me with malicious eyes, two faces adorned the front and the back. The front, a look of abashed confusion, the back, a look of rage and disgust, with cross eyebrows and furrowed brow, it mouthed words of hate and wishes of death to me as it soared along the bubbling and churning asphalt. I passed over the white lines, careful to step on each individually, my music pumping through my body, keeping my feet planted firmly on the ground, guiding my heart’s rhythm. I could feel it coursing through my veins, leading me towards the all but unknown.

The park was mesmerising, it teemed with life, I kept thinking everything was normal, that these people I was seeing, they were normal, but when I looked at them I saw placid expressions, glazed eyes, alien faces. Haughty and high browed, ears pointing out, facial hair morphing and undulating upon their gargoyle countenances. The trees shuffled above me, shielded my brow from the heat beating down on me, I was now not sure where my body began and ended with the Earth, it was as if my feet had merged with the concrete. I could not gauge my speed, I tried walking faster, but I couldn’t tell if it was working, so I just slowed down and kept looking around me. In slow motion everyone moved about, mouthing with gaping jaws words that I could not even hope to decipher. I found gravel, my feet unstable, but I kept going. The tracers were just ridiculous, every miniscule movement, every big movement was followed by several re-iterations of the previous matter’s course. I experienced mild disassociation, the environment seemed very far away from me, as if I was in a different dimension but able to see into my normal dimension. I felt as though there was a bubble around me, keeping me far from the jittering, spiraling, screaming plantlife. Trees were without eyes, but made faces at me, some smiled, some screaming, some filled with darkness and voids that would certainly lead to hell. I felt cold air sucking in through the ones with holes, the blackness calling to me, so I stayed far way from them.

I sat down on a bench and looked at my phone, someone was Skyping me, so I decided to try and answer, I even joined their call when they called me, but couldn’t work up the courage or focus to get anything coherent out of my mouth, I just sort of giggled and the insanity of it all and hung up. As I stared into the blinding whiteness of Skype and the world around me fractalled like you wouldn’t believe, everything was turning and going outwards in odd directions infinitely, I couldn’t even handle looking at my phone for too long because the world started rocking back and forth in my peripheral vision. When I lifted my head the fractals slowly dissipated but the world remained highly detailed and swimming, the sun and buildings in the distance seemed to be at a tilt, they rocked back and forth as if I were on a boat, music pumped through my ears, it had such unfathomable energy that I started crying because it was just so intense. I fucking loved it. I wandered down into the rose garden area, where the flowers were and people were slowly strolling along. It was pretty early still, probably around 10:00, so not many people were out, especially on a hot Saturday in August. It was mostly older couples, they were really cute. I changed the music to The Last Song by Tom Misch, and suddenly the world got highly saturated and the sun’s beating heat became much more bearable. I felt my body go at ease, my breathing became steady, I walked around slowly and gazed at the turning flowers, which were bright and speckled with extreme acuity, geometric patterns would move up and down their surfaces if I focused hard enough, and whenever I would focus on anything the world around it would melt away into a kaleidoscope texture. I felt very much at peace, I was very happy, the world was kind and beautiful and the sun hugged me warmly, but I wasn’t uncomfortable. I went and laid down next to the fountain, water flecking my face, I dropped my hand into the pool and let it sink down into the cool water.

An immense sense of peace consumed me, and would set the tone for the rest of the trip. I felt incredibly attractive, happy, at ease, my body was light and pure, the world was bright and shining in the summer sun, clouds changed shape and color and looked almost cartoonish, everything was moving and steadily bouncing in the wind, like little cartoon people. I sat at the fountain for about an hour, felt a sense of quiet that I had needed so badly. I got up after a while, changed the music to some Chainsmokers remixes, and walked over to the cafe, I felt like I needed to get something practical done for some reason. By this point my concept of time was completely shattered, I couldn’t distinguish one minute from the next, everything just kind of meshed, and my thoughts were travelling in parallel instead of serial, I would come up with thoughts and analyse them immediately and expand them infinitely as they happened, sometimes with more concepts than one. I decided that I definitely need to go into science, that my life is on a rocket upward, all of my friends are becoming more and more involved in my life, people like me more than they ever have before, I finally am accepting how fucking neat I am and it’s amazing to have a bit of confidence after years and years of sulking in the background. The walk to the cafe was longer than I remembered, the sun hadn’t fully risen yet, it was still crispy outside, the cars that went by were blurs of white and silver and blue and gold, the houses bulged and shrunk and changed shapes, doors looked like mouths, and suddenly I realised that all the houses were full of lives and people and entire worlds of drama and emotions that I had no part of. That was an amazing discovery, they contained such mystery, so much energy, I had a brand new appreciation for houses and closed doors in general. They made faces at me, most of them smiling or positive. I made it to the cafe and by this time the ground would bend and sink beneath my feet when I walked on it, like I was walking on a giant trampoline. Again, pretty intense fish eye effect on the concrete, when I looked down the lines would swirl and bend into squiggly lines instead of straight ones.

I got into the cafe, instant stress, there was no one in there except for the usuals (I’m one of them) that are always there in the mornings. I waited, trembling, for the girl at the counter to finish making a drink so that I could order, I had no idea what I wanted, the entire room was a deep brown and red and was melting all around me. The chalkboard turned on its side and changed shapes fluidly, the people, again, looked stationary, different, I was in a different dimension, they felt so fucking far away from me. I managed to squeak out an order, gave her my money, and waited, more stressed than before. However stressed I was, though, I didn’t feel like I was going to lose it, I was pretty calm and collected outwardly (I think), but inwardly I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. I got my coffee, sat outside, there was a homeless dude on the other side of the row of chairs I sat down in, I ignored him. I stared at the rising sun and the saturation returned to the world, the sidewalk seething like an ocean, words jumbling up, I experienced a bit of scenery splicing when the world kind of cut apart as I drank my coffee. It felt weird, I couldn’t really taste it, it just was hot and viscous. I didn’t really ENJOY drinking it, but I had committed so I finished the damned thing and set it back inside before walking onto the empty Portland Community College campus, I walked around there dancing my heart out to the music I was listening to, oogling at the flowers, but when I saw there were bugs I had to get away because bugs really freak me out. I sat down on a bench under a tree and it started looking like organs and writhing bugs so I was like “nope” and got out of there as soon as possible. This was when I started experiencing autonomous entities speaking to me.

I was sitting down listening to Tycho and from the corner of my eye I saw something gold materialise slowly, I turned to look at it and it disappeared, so I just forgot about it. The next time I saw it out of the corner of my eye it hung there, gold ribbons turning and floating, forming the shape of some very tall and thin figure. I took out my headphones and watched it from the corner of my eye, as it slowly took shape, its face nearly indistinguishable, there were too many things happening on its body, the gold turned to shapes and lines and formations that I couldn’t even follow, it seemed to have a universe in its body. It hummed and cooed at me, I got startled and looked over at it and it disappeared. I realised then how bad it would be to be tripping too hard would be like, I thought that if I kept hearing them and seeing them out of the corner of my eye I would lose my mind. Luckily they stopped appearing after that, but that one had hung around for a while, I felt like it followed me around, I only saw it one more time, near the end of my peak. From here I went inside one of the buildings and sat down watching shapes spiral out of the sun and the windows splitting the great green and blue outside into squares. It wasn’t cubism, but I did experience that after I went home and dabbed. Before I did this I had a short argument with a cardboard black man wearing a college graduation gown and hat, it was really odd. I don’t really know where that came from, but it ended with me flipping him off and calling him a “bitch ass scholar n’ shit.” I walked home from here, I wanted to write more stuff down into my computer and record what was happening.

I got home, dabbed, visuals intensified immediately. The melting visuals returned, everything was alive again, my blood boiled and I get suddenly energised. I went back outside, of course, after trying to talk to people online became too difficult because my computer kept melting and shapeshifting in front of me. The world was different, again, more colorful, more stable, but I experienced the most epic environmental cubism I ever have. Everything was split into a million different little views, like I was looking at the world through a jumbled mess of windows, all showing me something slightly different. It was so awesome. I had really high visual pattern recognition, I saw lions in the tree leaves, the giant trees that hung in the park became watchers and defenders of the great rose garden, and there was a wedding going on in the park. I sat and watched the ceremony at the gazebo, I was upset because I wasn’t well dressed enough for the occasion, I had only a polo and khakis, and boat shoes were most definitely not wedding attire. Oh well, it was funny, I laughed about it for a while. Still had intense tracers, movements were in slow motion, I watched two trees have what looked like an argument in the wind. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but their faces looked almost insect like, and they moved with the wind. It wasn’t scary at all, just intense. I sat around the park for another while, watched everything move and breathe in the sun, it was so beautiful. I got into really intense thought, realised my strengths and weaknesses, finally In understood what I needed to do with my life. I decided that I must go into science, that my greatest skill is the translation of ideas, which I believe is true, and that, with this skill, I can do good for the world, maybe help it improve. Many people simply don’t understand things because they aren’t worded in a way that they are able to comprehend. If I can bridge this small gap, the whole world can be a much better place. As I started to come down I felt elated and happy, this new experience proving to be very intense and quite lovely. I was satisfied, and the world started slowly turning back into normal life, I slowly drifted back into the dimension I had come from, I was able to formulate words again, I went home and decided I would talk to friends and dab again. It helped the the sudden drop in stimulation, and maintained slight visuals until about 5:00pm that night.

All in all pretty good day.

Notes (most of this written while tripping)

Pre-trip conditions - empty stomach, woke up at 7:00

Time ingested: 8:30

Pre-peak writeup:

5min - numbing of lips starting

10min - slight lightness in body

15min - lightness in body very apparent, slight shifting patterns

20min - slight changes in texture, distortions of sound very light, body feels normal, lump in back of throat

other effects: lack of ability to concentrate on thoughts, getting stuck looking at things

Effects analysis

Visual drifting (morphing)- Lots of what I described as "swimming" or "flowing" textures on objects in very heavy waves. Most solid surfaces looked absolutely absurd.

Visual drifting (breathing) - After the peak had been going for an hour I had strong breathing visuals on walls and the ground that I was walking on.

Visual drifting (melting) - During the onset of the trip I hung out in my room and the walls kept looking like they were melting off, like the paint was dripping down or hanging.

Visual acuity enhancement - While inspecting trees and plants around me (I spent about 20 minutes looking at roses in the park's garden) they had what I termed shifting colors, but, and were "layered," these were merely layering of colors and enhancement of textures.

Pattern recognition enhancement - I watched two trees swinging in the wind and it looked like the leaves were forming faces and they were having an argument. I also saw a weird bear face roaring from a larger tree in the distance, this was after dabbing during the come down.

Tracers - Present throughout the entire trip, very strong tracers dragging back what looked like entire feet from people running or my hands or even slight movements of foliage.

Environmental cubism - When I was staring up at a tree it looked like I could see the individual leaves moving but I couldn't piece them together into one tree, it was like there was a swastika or some other pattern cutting them apart, but it was straight lights. Very interesting.

Double vision - On the comedown things got very blurry, it was like everything was three things, I could not really see anything clearly.

Autonomus entities - While sitting in the park I saw what I thought were wispy golden ribbons forming next to me, they hummed and cooed at me but whenever I looked at them they would disappear. This only occurred during the second hour of the peak.

Diffraction - There's no page for this, but wherever there was light there were waves of rainbow colored arches that moved in an upward motion. It was only on the horizon usually, or whenever I would stare at lights.

Emotion enhancement - I generally felt very happy, at ease, peaceuful, and (strangely) attractive. I felt very attractive the entire time, I really enjoyed being myself, more-so than how I have been recently, it's really bolstered my mood the next day.

Thought connectivity - I made a lot of connections about my strengths and weaknesses, this has convinced me that I should definitely go into science, as I think that translating ideas is one of my strongest skills. Of course, in the trip above, it was a bit jumbled, but I wanted it to be raw tripping thoughts.

Language suppression - I went to order coffee and I could barely get out a few words, they were incredibly quiet, I had a very difficult time trying to talk when I was coming down as well.

Amnesia - In the first 20 minutes of the peak I kept forgetting what I was doing, and then I would realise that this is just amnesia and I need to keep walking. Those thoughts kept running through my head, really annoying.

Perception of decreased weight - Almost entirely weightless, I could not feel my body at all for most of the peak. It made walking kind of difficult, because I was acutely aware of how my shoes fit, and I could not tell how fast I was going. I was aware of internal pain if I got tired from walking but I could not gauge my speed at all.