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Sleazy Banners, Offensive Slur Receipt, Meat-Dropping Grim Reaper!

Up first, we head to Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, where some "old knuckleheads" (sexual predators) that it would be "super funny" (sexual harassing) to make a hilarious jokes about doing "rowdy stuff" (rapey stuff) with incoming freshmen girls on banners they hung outside their house. No one was really laughing. (Except for other rapey dudes)
Then we head to Denver, Colorado, where a Mexican-owned Mexican restaurant dropped a Mexican-themed racial slur on a Mexican customer. Yes, you did read that correctly. What actually happened is that the waitress typed the racial slur into the computer system as a joke directed toward the cook, but then she accidentally printed the wrong receipt and gave it to the customer. All big mistake, yes, but as you know, in America, no mistake can go without the local news turning it into a story.
And finally, we head to the town of Gastonia, North Carolina, which was trending on Facebook and Twitter last week because some psycho decided to throw on a cloak, walk around a playground and drop raw meat on the ground. Just a nice little Saturday, eh? Well, it seems the case has been solved and no, the Meat Reaper wasn't a crazy person, it was just a kid playing a TV character for a student film project. Which leads us to ask... what the hell TV character was he playing???
Oh, and we also check out the real tweets of Jaden Smith. They're so on fleek, bro. So on fleek.