For the past few days, I’ve been hoping that the US Post Office would deliver a small check that I am waiting to receive from my little part-time job.

I am also, in my delusions, hoping that Post Office will deliver a birthday card from the very few people out in the real world who do NOT find me annoying. Checks and birthday cards are so much better than bills.

And other mail.

Three days ago I received, in the mail, a summons for Jury Duty.

I’m thinking maybe this was a birthday gift from the County of Montgomery….

This was truly a W.T.F. moment. Where do I begin this rant?

But it wasn’t. It was a fun letter to invite me to Jury Duty and to further invite me to complete an online questionnaire! It’s akin to online dating. They want to know ALL about me!

I have been unemployed since December 31, 2014. With the exception of one hell of an “American Horror Story” mistake of a job that lasted 2 weeks, I also had a temp job for 7 weeks. That’s a grand total of 9 weeks employment during the course of 16 months of complete unemployment.

Why is it that during the idle 16 months of my unemployment, the County of Montgomery in the State of Pennsylvania couldn’t summon me to Jury Duty while I sat on my fat ass with nowhere to go except to the grocery store, the hair stylist, the nail salon, my bed, and to the toilet?

Why is it that within two weeks of finally becoming employed—and part-time employment no less–making minimum wages, if I am not meeting my commission, that Montgomery County decides to pick me of all people to be a possible Juror at the paltry rate of $9.00 a day for the first three days and $25.00 a day thereafter? Why is this?

I have so much in common with Sebastian! He is so spot on!

One would think that our local government would, perhaps, have a database of unemployed persons throughout the State of Pennsylvania or throughout the local Counties of the State. The application process to receive unemployment benefits is an arduous one and it would be only logical if the local government chose from the listing of persons receiving unemployment benefits (for the short time they do) to serve as jurors in a Court of Law.

Am I right? What the hell do the unemployed do anyway? Where are we going? We have no money to take off on little pleasurable day trips because most of us are depressed that we are in this state of unemployment! We are so depressed and disillusioned that we can’t even get out of our pajamas or bathe! Being a juror would give us something to do and something to look forward to and a sense of purpose!

Yes. I swear this system is completely screwed up! Why can the unemployed be called to Jury Duty. It would be like a pretend job that pays below minimum wages. Let’s build some self-esteem among the unemployed–shall we?? God knows, they need to feel good!

Better yet, that nine bucks a day would feel like a million bucks after the 26 weeks of unemployment benefits runs out!

So now, I have to go let my manager know that next month I have to report for Jury Duty and hopefully won’t get chosen to sit in that rectangular jury box while some poor slob goes on trial for a miniscule petty crime.

Oh yeah. I’m gonna be REAL judgy in my efforts to be non-judgmental

But—I have made an effort to get out of this.

I could not use THIS excuse to get out of Jury Duty. So instead…..

I went online to complete my special “juror questionnaire”. In this questionnaire, it is asked if you have any members of law enforcement in your family and if having so will affect your ability to judge fairly.

Yes. My dad was a NYC cop. I have cousins who are policemen. I have uncles that were policemen. My brother is an MP.

And I answered that I would, in fact, be affected in judgement.

I also added in the “remarks” section the following:

“I would not be a good juror because after being unemployed for an extended period of time, I have suffered from tremendous stress and anxiety. My emotional state of mind is “fragile” and “I am not right in the head”. I cannot give a statement from a physician be”……

I was unable to complete my “remarks” because I ran out of the allotted amount of characters. I wanted to continue to write….”cause I don’t have medical insurance and cannot afford to go to a physician to give me happy pills because I need to save my money for the fine I will be charged for NOT having medical insurance”

It wasn’t until a few hours later when I thought that I just should have written …“I just started a part-time job. Why didn’t you summon me when I was unemployed and idle?”

I’m hoping the County powers that be take mercy on me and dismiss me from reporting for Jury Duty. Just as the many HR people have dismissed me after interviews for positions I was qualified for but never got because of my age.

Unfortunately, there is no ageism in Jury selection!

This is the kind of judge that I want to party with!

Have a great, great weekend!!! Here’s an appropriate song for the day! “I Fought The Law…..”

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About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up!
The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half.
He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez.
I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island.
I am not refined.
My three grown children are also a big part of my life.
For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance!
I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side!
It's all good!

Happy birthday to my adopted stateside ‘mom’!! 😉
I’ll happily do jury duty for you if you can nominate – I’ve always fancied doing it (I watch too many court room dramas!)
I think we fare a little better over here. Most employers (in my experience) pay normal wage whilst you’re on duty. Otherwise you can claim a daily allowance which is much higher than yours: Works out between $40 – $90 a day, increasing after 10 days (stil not a massive amount though).
Anyhow, have a fabulous, celebratory weekend. Hope it’s kind to you xx

Good Morning My Little Daughter from Across the Pond! The day was marvelous and I’m still hoping that my “not right in the headness” will get me out of Jury Duty. I think it got me kicked off of Instagram though! XOXOXO!!!

I have been called up for Jury Duty several times. In Australia, it’s pretty easy to get out of jury service – there are many reasons you can give, such as: work or family commitments, and I think there is even a box you can tick, saying you are a ‘woman’! The first time I was called up, I thought it was my civic duty in a democracy to participate, so I went and was chosen. It was an eye-opening experience, but ultimately depressing, as it demonstrated various aspects of our judicial system that needed some improvement. I didn’t feel empowered and I didn’t think I made a difference. Although I do remember a man on my panel, who had migrated from an Eastern European country, being thrilled to be chosen, saying this opportunity would not have been afforded to him in his country of birth. Every other time, I have had a legitimate excuse.

Thanks Hipsterette! When I lived in New Jersey, I did get called for Jury Duty and despite my efforts, I was chosen to sit in that box. It ultimately pissed me off because, in a nutshell, some poor guy was shackled for selling fifty bucks of weed. THIS is what taxpayers were paying for. Three days to decide the fate of a guy and whether to keep him locked up or allow him freedom to most likely sell again. We voted not guilty. I’m amazed at how people can acquire guns and shoot ’em up and constantly evade prison and some guy sells weed and they want to lock him up for years. The system definitely needs improvement! And that is why I despise Jury Duty. It is a waste of my time! XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!

Last time I was called for jury duty I had to show up in person, and one guy tried to argue that he could not miss work, and the courthouse employee was so annoyed by him I guess she decided to make an example of him. He got called for the big case that was predicted to last a month. I wondered if she was just hoping to make the rest of us shut up and try to fly under the radar. I hope they read your questionaire and tell you no thanks!

Hi Margaret! To make an example of someone is vicious and vile. How did the courthouse employee make this decision. Do these people not realize that the payment for J.D. is miniscule? This man most likely did not get pay from his job while on JD? And with a family to feed? It’s awful. I can’t even…….XOXOXOXO!!!

Cathe, Happy Belated Birthday!!! Hope it was a fabulous as you are. May the year ahead be filled with good health and much happiness. Again, you’ve got me rolling on the floor with this post. I adore what you wrote in the comments. By the way, my deceased 93 year old mom received a summons for jury duty last week in the mail. Can you imagine? I’m not responding to those idiots. Hugs to you xoxoxoxo

Hi Gail! Thanks for the Birthday wishes! 61 is weird but still fabu! Why am I not surprised that a 93 year old deceased person would receive a summons for jury duty? And those who work for the system are receiving great salaries with fantastic benefits!! XOXOXOXO!!!

I always just said I didn’t have my own car. Totally true. And the court house was a good 40 minutes from me! It’s gotten me out of it every time. (Drolley is sitting here singing along with Bobby! 😀 )

I’ll be honest Katherine, I think Tina fey is so hot. I think someone like you with your quirky blog would love my blog Gastradamus. How do you feel about the new Ghostbusters movie starring only women? How do you really feel about Abraham Lincoln, do you think African Americans deserve more money in the work force? Or are you the type of person who cleans up after there dog? If these topics interest you you comments would be greatly appreciate and warming to the soul. Have a great night.

Hi Gassy! Well. I think Hollywood sucks and shows a total lack of creativity for taking a CLASSIC film like Ghostbusters and turning it into a chick-flick. I’m all about equality for women–and the chick flick aspect is pandering. Don’t get me started. Lincoln? Quite honestly, my family didn’t come to the States until less than a hundred years ago so I’m not up on politics from the 1800’s. I love his wife, though, because Mary Todd was a total nut. And the only reason I pick up after my dog is because I don’t like stepping into shit. That is one of the reasons for having children. You make your kids pick up dog shit while you cook dinner! I’ll check out your blog! XOXOXOXO!

It is a great idea to summon the unemployed, except it might get in the way of a job search? There’s no perfect answer to that one. I always get called the week of Christmas vacation, it seems. One time, it was for Federal court, too, which is where the big trials go. I was terrified I’d get chosen to sit on some jury for a case that lasted three months, but in the end all I had to do was call a machine every night to see if I was needed the next day, and I never was, so I didn’t even have to leave my house!