Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Life After Deployment

It has been two and a half months since Rich came home properly from Afghanistan, so I finally feel like I can look back on the seven months he was away with some perspective.

I honestly don't know how I managed to stay so positive. I think my technique for coping was to put my head down and bury my way through the months, so it's only now that I'm out of the other side that I can put my head up and see how far I came. It's not necessarily a bad method of coping, as it worked, but I'm not sure I will use it again. I cut myself off from a lot of emotions, and it put a bit of distance between the two of us, but being back together again has meant that we are getting back to being as close as we were before he left.

This time when Rich came home I didn't have lots of time off work, just the day and the weekends, so it took us a lot longer to get back into sync with each other. He was finding it strange being back at home, and I was resenting having my peaceful order disturbed, and we were also expecting far too much of each other. Luckily going on holiday and being removed from the stresses and responsibilities of everyday life fixed that for us. My biggest recommendation for any couple reuniting after a long time of being apart is to take at least a weeks holiday together pretty sharpish after returning.

Since being back we have both realised exactly how much each other had to deal with, I have heard many more stories from Rich of things he didn't necessarily want to or think of telling me whilst he was out there, and he has realised how much hard work it was keeping the house going and all the other stuff I had to do by myself. It has made us appreciate each other so much more, and we have been so much closer recently than we have ever been before as a result of it.

I don't think I could manage if Rich had to go away again now, but by the time he will potentially next have to deploy I'm sure I will have forgotten most of the horrible parts and be able to get through it again. I'm still keeping everything crossed though that there will be nothing longer than two weeks for at least a year, but I doubt I'll get my wish!

Sorry for the more serious blog post today, it's just something I have felt like I need to get online and off my chest. If you made it to the end, I salute you!

It must have been so difficult for you both, for a host of similar and different reasons, so I'm very glad to hear you've settled back into a routine of being together and feeling closer than ever :) xxx