Thursday, September 25, 2008

Need a little out-of-town insider information? Well, I just dropped off a stack of Coagula Art Journals at Antidote on Studemont in the Heights! Featuring gems like Alan Bamberger's Turning Pro column:

Q: I don't want to show any art online because I think people will steal the images. How do I protect myself?

A: Purchase a cave; live there for the rest of your life. Allow no one to see your art - ever. In your will, leave directions to where your art is hidden, so that someone somewhere can show and sell it once you've transitioned to the great beyond.

and...

Q: I search online for art dealers, galleries and other people with profiles in the art world. Then I email them images of my art with no text. I figure that people who are impressed or who want to know more will email me back and ask about it, want to buy it or offer to give me shows. So far, I've had no response. Any suggestions?

A: Out of all the possible ways to present your art, this is unquestionably and by incomprehensible leaps and bounds the dumbest (the second dumbest is emails that begin with "Dear Sir/Madam") (the third dumbest is "Please visit my website and let me know what you think about my art"). People who receive these emails- assuming they even open them, which most don't- wonder, "Who is this bozo and why is he bothering me?" Here's a thought- maybe put the art career on hold and start looking for a real job. Here's how to apply- email companies your resume for no identifiable reason and with no explanation.

Stop on by Antidote and grab a Coagula tomorrow night, Hello Lucky is right down the street and they're holding a glasstire party!