Is it possible to masturbate too much?

Excessive wanking, sex in the spank zone, and deep throating.

Is it possible to masturbate too much? How would a person know if he or she were doing it too much?

Let me assure you, H.J. Osment of Hollywood, California, you have nothing to worry about. The only physical ramification you're likely to suffer from excessive masturbation is irritated skin, which will probably subside when (or if) you take a break from masturbating. (Here's a tip: To accelerate healing, try massaging aloe vera or other balms or lotions up and down the length of your genitals several times an hour.) Masturbating really only becomes problematic if it gets in the way of your life or interferes with your geology homework. "If you need to excuse yourself at work to go to the bathroom to masturbate, then it is too much," says Alex Robboy, sex therapist and director of howtohavegoodsex.com. "If you and your partner are fighting about the fact that you are masturbating too much, then it is too much." Essentially, if anyone's fighting about your masturbating, again, too much.

One thing you should be aware of, however, is that unrestrained masturbation can alter your sensitivity and make you less responsive to actual sex, assuming you're going to have some. It's an issue that troubles hooker with a heart of 14-karat-gold-plating Caressa Kisses, who spoke despairingly from her brothel in Nevada: "I can't tell you how many pud pullers I've had to finish off with a good old-fashioned handjob because it's all they really know." Oh, the humanity.

I'd like to know what I have to do to get my wife to "deep throat." Is it something that is learned?

It sounds as though you've already tried throwing your hands up in the air and exclaiming, "What do I have to do to get you to deep throat?" Usually, that's enough; usually, women are just waiting for the all-clear signal. But I must tell you, men generally report that, like Olympic ice dancing, deep-throating is mostly style over substance. "It is the idea of deep-throating, rather than the act itself, that is stimulating to most men," says sexuality educator Logan Levkoff. "Good oral sex isn't about deep-throating." That being said, it's time to forget everything you've heard about good deep-throaters being born and not made. The key is practice, practice, and more practice. Your wife should start with a peeled banana or a water-filled condom and work her way up to your best friend -- with the entry right or left for maximum comfort. Why, if she's persistent, the little gal might one day just be deep-throating at Carnegie Hall.

Do women really like anal sex? If so, why? What would make it more enjoyable for her?

Most experts will tell you that women enjoy anal sex, but a 2003 Esquire poll revealed that only 24 percent like it, whereas 53 percent do not and 23 percent have never tried it, which can mean only one thing: Reading Esquire makes women hate anal sex. According to Jack Morin, clinical psychologist and author of Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men and Women, "We know for sure that there's quite a number of women who really get an orgasmic response from anal stimulation, although we don't know the percent." Or their phone numbers. It may be because there's more to the clitoris than meets the eye. "It's really a pretty sprawling organ," says Morin. Yes, like the roots of a magnificent old oak tree, the clitoris encircles the vagina, where it can be indirectly stimulated via the rectum before creeping onto your neighbor's property, crawling down the interstate, and eventually settling in a nice area with a Barnes & Noble. And that ain't the half of it: All of the pelvic muscles are involved as well. The external anal sphincter muscle is connected to the PC muscle, which is connected to the pelvic organs, which are involved with orgasm and can all ultimately be traced back to Kevin Bacon's prostate. This should be more than enough evidence to convince her to give anal a try, so be sure you start slowly and use plenty of water-based lubricant. Experts also recommend that the woman be on top in order to control the pace and movement. And even if she isn't able to reach orgasm through anal stimulation, there is still plenty to be gained from the experience. "For some people, anal sex feels particularly intimate," says Morin. "For other people, it's especially forbidden and therefore more exciting...and for some people, it's associated with being taken or dominated." And some people just like putting things in their asses.

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