Jumping for his love

Most Read

Have you noticed how much Mary (pictured) on Age of Love cries all the time? There's always an excuse – she cries when she's mad, like when the 40-somethings were rude to the 20s as they moved in. She cries when she's tired, like when she paddled all the way to Mark and still came in too late to hang out on the yacht. And she cries when she's reliving those moments for the cameras.

I'm not sure if dudes like a cry baby. What they do like, apparently, as evidenced by every dating show ever, is making women perform physical feats for their affection. On every Bachelor, the ladies have to bust their humps at some point to get a date with the bach. And last night was no exception: The competitors had to perform a mini-triathlon that ended at a yacht on which sat Mark. The first three who made it got to hang out on the boat; the rest had to go back home, after having paddled on a surf board to get there, something way harder to do than it looks. There's a reason Cameron Diaz is so buff.

Really, it's quite a man who would get a group of women to fall all over themselves and suffer potential harm to spend ten minutes with him. Maybe if he was dangling a Twinkie most women I know might make an effort, but even then, they'd probably just walk to the nearest deli.

One girl injured an ankle but the best news was that Jayanna, 39 and tecnhically part of the 40-something group, won the race and got the hot date. Yipee! Believe me: the 20s are not worth cheering for.

Then the girls had to play in a tennis tournament against each other. Mary, 24, giggled at the word "balls" and then made herself cry from laughing. Honestly.

Was it helpful when the Maria, 42, wiped the other women's lipstick off Mark's mouth like she was his mom? Probably not — but even though it kind of blew her whole "I'm not too old to date you" strategy, she made it through another round. — Amy DiLuna

Who are you rooting for — the 20s or the 40s? Cast your vote in comments!