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STEVE THE PRODUCER

STP's BLOG 01/31/12 "You Picked The Wrong Home Buddy!

by STP,posted Jan 31 2012 7:15AM

I always enjoy reading stories about home invasions were the burglar picked the wrong home to break into. Yesterday, a man tried breaking into a guys apartment in Federal Way, only to encounter a 20 year old dude that has 7 years of boxing experience…and that guys roommate, his brother, a proud owner of a gun. So idiot breaks into the home…and the resident, Colton Vaughn woke up to get some water…only to see a masked guy attacking him…so he whooped his ass! Colton yelled for his brother, Kirk, and Kirk came out with a gun…and that’s when the crook tried running away towards the sliding glass doors! Colton saw this and grabbed the robber and helped him leave the apartment by tossing him off the balcony…oh, did I mention they live on the 3rd floor? Yup, the guy fell 30 feet to the ground…but shockingly…he got up and ran away. Thankfully this ended with the homeowners OK, but that has to be the worst feeling of violation…to see someone in your home, or walk into your place after it was burglarized. We got a couple texts of people sharing their stories of when a criminal picked the wrong place to break into:

My parents were part of a home invasion. Dad woke up and best the crap out of him. NAKED...Chris in enumclaw

A teen broke into my uncles house, and got ripped apart by his golden retriever

I stopped a burglary two weeks ago of my neighbors apartment with a 6 inch Santoku knife. I didn't have to stab him, he left on his own. Eric

This morning was chalk full of awesome stories…here are a couple other ones that I enjoyed…

This sailor who is based in Bangor WA on the Naval Base was over at a buddy’s apartment, getting drunk…he left and then entered an apartment that he thought was his friends, only it was his neighbors. For some reason their apt was unlocked, so he went in there…urinated on the floor (wow!), and then crawled into bed…with an 80 year old woman!!!!!! She freaked out, and yelled at him…asking why he was doing, to which he said, “passing out”. Priceless. The cops didn’t arrest him as they said it was a stupid mistake, and the sailor has offered to clean up the mess and has apologized!

My third favorite story of the day happened last month in Portland, but the criminal was sentenced yesterday to 45 days in jail. What did he do? This 33 year old guy was at a Toys R’ Us, and started assaulting people with…wait for it…Light Sabers! Yes, he was using the “force” on people…that is, until the cops showed up. This is the best part…the cops shot a taser at him, and he deflected it with a light saber!!!! A true jedi…to quote Yoda, “Hmmmmm….dipsh**, you are!.”

Back in January of 2007, 39-year-old Ruben P. Salazar of Texas got a random email. It was a work email intended for a 43-year-old woman named Rachel P. Salazar, who lived in Bangkok, Thailand. Ruben figured out the typo in the email address and forwarded it to Rachel. She wrote him back to thank him, and he wrote her back. That led to an email chain where they started getting to know each other. And finally, after eight months of daily emails, they decided to meet. Rachel flew 8,000 miles from Thailand to Texas to meet Ruben. She didn't tell her family, because she figured they'd think she was foolish. But within eight days, they knew this was "right," and Ruben PROPOSED to her. They're now happily married.
A marriage started because of an accidental email…based on this, what was the strangest way that you met a significant other? Here are the texts we received:

I met my wife on my space. She sent me a message and she was a good looking blonde so i almost just deleted it thinking it was just a porn spam message lol Max

A wow nerdette lost her friends at this last years pain in the grass. Chatted with her went from the lawn to Sears cause she had a spare ticket. Dated for two months
.
me and my wife meet while playing an online game together 5 yrs ago. last yr we got married while i was stationed in korea she flew all the way from n.c

On a Craigslist personals ad. 3 years and going strong. Gettin hitched in may.

I droped off my number in a video return slot cuz I saw a very hot girl working. She texted me that same night. We started dating feb8 then 3 months late

I meet my wife at a concert... we were throwing up in the same trash can!

My wife at the time was my bosses daughter and best friends sister

Family reunion

Met in dessert storm, 1991. He was sergeant major, I a private. Married 16 yrs

He was my manager...at Hooters.

My boyfriend was the UPS guy, snatched him up and still together over a year later.

I met my wife in a chat room 16 years ago, 6 months later, she drove from Skagit County WA, to Portland, OR, On jan 1st 1996, and 10 months later (Oct 5t h, 1996 we were married. We were married for 15 of the best years of my life. My wife passed away on the 13th of this month (Jan 2012) due to brain injury caused by a heart attack. We were with each other all the time, 24 hrs a day. Only 5 fights in 15 years. We loved each other more than I have ever loved anyone. Jim B. Bow, WA.

Of course then the funny guys have to text in...

I met my master while I was taking a wiz by the bushes. He was walking down the sidewalk. True love! Lucy.

I was in a kennle at the Animal Shelter and my lover was carrying a jar of peanut butter and he took me home Lucy

We met at the pet shop. From Lucy

Speaking of my dog…my other pup, Lulu…has a new favorite toy…a napkin! Enjoy!!!

31-year-old Eugene Foster of Arizona went through the cell phone of his girlfriend's teenage daughter, and you seriously won’t believe what this “Eugenius” did! Eugene saw that his girlfriend's daughter had a naked photo of herself on her phone, and wanted to show her how dangerous that could be. So to teach her a lesson…he sent the naked photo to 40 of her high school classmates. When her school found out, they stepped in…on HER side: They sent a letter home asking students to delete the photo instead of spreading it around, and to help, quote, "in minimizing the damage done by one adult's poor choices." Eugene ended up getting arrested for exploitation of a minor, and could face federal child pornography charges.
I love how the school said it was a “Poor Choice” on his part…CLASSIC!

What about you… when did you do something that, in retrospect, was a “poor choice”? Here are some texts we got:

My wife caught me blow drying my penis one night and asked me what I was doing,... I told her I was heating up her dinner,.... Poor choice of words,...

good for him im totally on his side that dumb ass kid had it coming

I let my husband sleep with my friends. Now i have no husband and no friends..

Spent two years at WWU drinking and playing counter strike. Probably wasted a good 20 or 30 thousand bucks before I joined the navy. - the DV

I humped a fat chick. I mean FAT. AND she was crazy. But I guess everyone has to ride a moped once in their life. -Pancho-

Coming home on leave from iraq, one of my troops did not get the early flight and had to wait 2 hours. I did not give him my seat and i left my soldier behind. I have regreted not giving my seat to him ever since.... SGT McClure

Worse decision was letting my friends smoke weed in the car, i didn't smoke anything,mom smelled the car and went to town on my ass with a belt!!

My poor choice was getting married. Got married at 21 and lasted 13 monthes. Bigest mistake of my life.

appearantly im not the stupidest micky ficky walking around all i did was try to work on an overheated car and 2nd degree burn my arm

I meant to send a pic of my Johnson to a girl but instead I sent to wrong contact and my mom got the pic, dumbest thing ever

I let my owner use skippy instead of jif..... Lucy

Let Steve borrow some peanut butter

Today's Video blog features some vintage KISW T-Shirts that Toppy found on EBAY!