Giving or going to a Thanksgiving dinner? You'll give thanks for these recipes and tips from a pro.By Megan O. Steintrager

One of the joys of a potluck is that you don't have to make everything. So don't. "The first Thanksgiving I hosted I made too many things myself," says one potlucker. "I stayed up until 2 a.m. baking pies and rolls, then got up at 6 a.m. to start a 20-pound turkey. It was kosher and covered with quills that my mother and I had to pluck off with pliers. It took hours of hard labor. From this experience I learned: Don't bite off more than you can chew in terms of how many dishes to make yourself. Don't order a kosher turkey unless you don't care about it having smooth, crisp, edible skin. Finally, don't attempt to work too closely with a parent."

If You Love Them, Set Them Free

Our panel of hosts was split on how specific to get when assigning menu items. "Some families have certain dishes that they feel are essential components of a Thanksgiving meal, therefore I tell people what I'm having and tell them to bring anything else they wish," says one host. "'Free choice has never failed to bring a variety and it makes people feel they have a say in celebrating the holiday." Another says, " I never assign specific recipes— if you want to control things that much, just make everything yourself!" She adds that the joy of a potluck is sharing your family apple pie recipe or learning how one friend's grandmother made sweet potatoes. I once attended a Thanksgiving potluck where the hosts said to bring whatever we wanted and just about everyone brought guacamole. "It was my dream Thanksgiving," the host recalls fondly. "We were in our 20s and avocados were extra-special to us because they were soooo expensive that we only bought them for special occasions. We ate all the guac. Mmmmm...."

Cover the Basics

A good compromise to the free-choice conundrum —and a way to avoid being awash in guacamole, if that's not your idea of a dream Thanksgiving— is to chat with the attendees about what they'd like to bring and make gentle suggestions to ensure the basics are covered. Turkey, stuffing or dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, something green, a cranberry dish, and pumpkin pie were the must-haves in our informal polls. "I usually let people decide what they want to bring but steer them away from it if someone else is bringing something similar," says a planning-oriented host. Another says, "Once I've planned the basics with my close friends, I fill in with the other guests as they RSVP. As the menu starts to fill in, I get more specific with my requests—the later RSVPs get fewer choices. Even so, I try to be general with my requests and if they have something different that they're excited about bringing, I just fit it in." Also be sure to have plenty of hors d'oeuvres, nuts, cheese, and other nibbles, and drinks "to keep people happy until the inevitably late main dish is ready."

Restrict Restrictions

The hosts were surprisingly unanimous when it came to their guests' dietary restrictions. "Even though we are vegetarians, I would never insist that someone leave the bacon out of their Turkey Day dish," says one host. "There is always enough variety for everyone." Still, it's nice to let people know if there will be a vegetarian there so that, for example, crumbled bacon can be served on the side of a salad rather than in it. "I try to ensure there are enough sides for everyone to feel well-fed," says another host. "If I know a vegetarian is coming, I'll use vegetable stock instead of chicken stock for, say, a sweet potato purée."

Some Birds Shouldn't Fly

Although cooked turkeys can be carried in a car (and, believe me, they have been), having to transport a huge, delicate roast bird in a greasy pan can be a bit hairy—let's just say it makes hauling a 25-pound raw turkey on the subway seem like the easy part. "It was a HUGE fiasco getting the turkey to our house in one piece, and people were a bit stressed about it being perfect," said one host about a bird on the move. "I'm not going to say it wasn't worth it, but the angst to enjoyment ratio was almost 1:1." For a good-looking turkey, a splatter-free vehicle, and a nervous-breakdown-free Thanksgiving, make sure that once it's cooked this unwieldy Thanksgiving mainstay only has to travel from the oven to the carving station.

Count Your Chickens (and Turkeys)

It's a good idea to try to get a head count as far in advance as possible so you can decide on the size of your turkey (especially if you have to order it) and the volume of sides, desserts, etc. If you have "maybes," count them as "yeses" and then factor in a few extra portions for unexpected guests. All of the potluck pros agreed that it's better to have lots of tasty leftovers than to have to cast people out on a holiday that's all about sharing, abundance, and hospitality. One host who serves a free-range heritage breed turkey that has to be ordered a month in advance from the farmers' market offers this tip: "I order the turkey based on how many max we can fit, not how many are actually coming."

Creativity and Flexibility

When it comes to serving and seating, sometimes function needs to come before form. The world will not come crashing down around you if you don't have enough serving dishes to transfer everything from Tupperware. Likewise, you might have to be creative with seating. "If we have a large group, we'll throw an extra card table at the end of our main dining table and toss a big tablecloth over the whole thing," says one host. An architect and host of many potlucks says: "We don't have enough chairs, so we usually use carpet samples for people to sit on and hollow metal doors on milk crates as tables. We disguise the tables with colorful tablecloths, flowers, candles, and sometimes the good old tissue-paper turkeys." Another host suggests setting up a buffet and some small tables and letting people find seats on couches, chairs, or wherever they find a spot. If you'd rather not have crumbs on your couch, you can rent tables and chairs at a party supply store. You can use high-quality paper, plastic, or environmentally friendly bamboo plates and utensils to cut down on cleanup or if you don't have enough to go around. And be sure to get some extra containers for people to bring leftovers home in.

Help Wanted?

You might want to ask a friend or two to come over early in the day to help, as long as that sort of thing relaxes you instead of causing more stress. "Ideally, I'll brine the turkey myself the night before and then a friend will come over in the morning to help me prep and roast it and make the gravy at the last minute," says one host.

Be a Kitchen Timer

When you host a dinner party, you probably time things so that not everything has to go in the oven at once. If you're giving your guests a lot of freedom about what they bring, you have to be a little more cunning with the oven. "Never underestimate how soon the turkey has to go into the oven," says one host. "Count backwards from the time the guests are told to arrive and stick to that, understanding that other dishes will by vying for oven space." It's wise to ask people to bring fully cooked dishes, but most things will still have to be reheated. Some dishes can go in the oven when the turkey is almost finished cooking, while others can go in after you've removed it and it's resting and being carved. Think about what will taste fine at room temperature, what heats well in the microwave (things that don't need to be crisp or crusty work well), and what can be finished on the stovetop (blanched green beans, for example). After each item comes out of the oven or microwave, cover it with a lid or foil until it's time to serve. A warming tray can also be a big help.

Send Out the Welcome Wagon

Take a cue from the first Thanksgiving and remember that it's better to have people sitting on the floor than to turn people away. "I think the best Thanksgiving potluck was the year that we invited lots of people, including a bunch of interns from my office, and they all brought their friends," recalls one host of a particularly bacchanalian potluck I attended. "Everyone brought a bottle of wine and we drank it all. The whole thing snowballed into a party that started around 3 p.m. and ended around midnight. We all had a great time." Another adds, "If guests try to be considerate but make themselves at home and the host learns to roll with the punches, it should be a great time—no matter what goes wrong with the prep or meal."