10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There) is a program to help us develop habits to grow a joyful spirit. Many of us sabotage our happiness by habits that we might not even be aware of. Identifying and changing these habits can build a reservoir of well-being to enhance our happy times and sustain us during challenging times.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

One Story -- Many Lessons

You know those stories that you never live down? We were at the dinner table the other night and got to laughing over a story about my daughter Mia, a story that gets told and retold. I’ve probably written about it on the blog, but I can’t remember, so here it is again, with Mia’s permission (accompanied by an eye roll).

When she was in kindergarten, the kids lined up to move through the hallways between the classroom and activities located elsewhere in the school. Every day, someone was chosen by the teacher to be the line leader, which is a big deal when you are in kindergarten.

One day, as the kids lined up, Mia immediately observed that the girl in front was not the chosen line leader that day. The chosen leader was further back in the line, apparently shirking her responsibility. As the line moved forward, Mia was looking back over her shoulder, waving and calling to the girl who was supposed to be in front, and telling her to assume her assigned position (telling her in a somewhat bossy way, as the story was related to me).

As Mia became more adamant (it seems the girl was not at all concerned that some upstart had usurped her role), she was not watching where she was going and tripped over a chair right in front of her, falling flat and getting a bit banged up in the process.

I love this story first of all because I love Mia, and this incident so captures the feisty little pixie that she was. I also love it because it has much to offer upon reflection.

Shall we play a game today? How many lessons can we learn from this simple story?

45 comments:

"feisty little pixie" - what a great descriptive phrase. My 3 year old grandaughter is not really feisty, but she has the strongest sense of right and wrong - she would have been totally affronted that the designated leader was not doing her job!

I can relate to this as well, from a ride with my daughter and her daughter yesterday. My grandaughter is 3 and yesterday she mentioned twice that her Mommy drove while the light was red! Of course she doesn't understand the fine point of being able to turn right on red, as far as her 3 year old brain was concerned, her Mommy went while the light was Red! As for the lesson- keep your focus on where you are going at all times!

I love stories too and here too there are some lessons to take back home. I think we need to look where we go or keep an eye on the path we tread, rather than looking into other people's affairs- that being the reason she tripped. But then she was only a child.:)

However, I also liked her power of observation at that young an age, and she was in a way trying to get the other girl's attention to get take up her responsibility, so she was playing her part of being a friend or good classmate too. :)

Such a lovely story, Galen. I don't remember you telling it before. Lessons to be learned - 1.taking responsibility,2.trying to be fair, 3.looking out for someone else,4. Looking out for other people, can sometimes cause you to fall flat on your face! ;)I'm sure there are many more. Would love to read the comments. Fantastic way to draw your readers in. But then you always do. :)

I seem to recall a scripture about not concerning oneself with the mote in a friend's eye when there is a beam in one's own eye. LOL! Not that your Mia had a beam in her eye! But she probably should have been facing forward in line. It's always easier to focus on other people's shortcomings. Cute story. Thanks for sharing.

Kim's comment matches mine. We spend way too much time worrying about what others are doing instead of focusing on the one person we can really affect: ourselves. I guess the theory is "I'm really doing quite well, but that other person.......!

BTW, I've met the grown up Mia and she is still a pixie and a great mom!

I like Betsy answer. Don't let others take advantage of you. I also thought Stand up for others that might not be able to stand up for them self. That reminds me of my only daughter. She is head strong and has to follow all the rules and won't let anyone bend a rule.

Looking through the comments, there's lots of good lessons here! What came to my mind is, "you don't have to take responsibility/can't take responsibility for everyone else." It's a lesson I am still working on! :-)

i have racked my brain and all i can really come up with is, "watch where you're going!"

i wonder why this would be a favorite story told over and over again? in my family, with my grown kids, the stories we tell over and over again highlight heroic moments!

i was called into school when my son was about the same age, kindergarten, because when lining up for lunch he raised his hand and asked the teacher, "I don't understand why we have a girl's line and a boy's line to go to lunch. Like, if we were going to the restroom, I see, but what difference does it make to go to lunch if you have a penis or not?"

Linda, We have our heroic stories, too, and I have several about Mia that also get told and retold. But often our family stories highlight something that captures that person's unique personality. To me, this story captures Mia's youthful, well-intentioned, but sometimes misdirected, eagerness to be in everyone else's business when not always minding her own. It made her an attentive friend, but occasionally got her into trouble. It was part of her exuberant charm.

Mia is a good sport for letting you tell this one. LOL! The obvious lesson to me is to keep your eyes on your own steps, which of course could be interpreted to mean mind your own business. LOL!! Good one!

I got a chuckle from this story, and love that you checked with Mia before sharing it. (I check with my adult kids before sharing those family stories too.)

Two lessons come through for me

1. When we are focusing on someone else and situations over which we have no control, we are neglecting to take care of our own business, the only thing over which we have control.

2. When someone isn't taking her rightful place, it can mean that she doesn't want the responsibility that goes with it, and therefore chooses not to step up.

Mia, of course, was just being her delightful self, and thankfully only suffered temporary bruises. As adults, however, if we don't learn these lessons, we will suffer bruises that don't heal as easily.

Galen, I have a few thoughts on this one. First, thanks to Mia for allowing you to share her story. We can learn so much just by paying attention to our children. I have a pillow that is stitched with the saying "I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas." It reminds me to evaluate the circumstances before jumping in.

*When we focus too much on what someone else is doing we may miss the obstacles and the blessings in our own path.

*Pick your own battles - we may see a victim that does not exist.

*Fight for those who have been pushed aside because they need your voice, not your self righteousness.

*If you don't think you are being led by the right person do something about it!

darlin, Thanks for adding your insights from the story. And thanks for the kind words about the blog appearance. Yes, it is a template from Blogger. It is a bit summery for the current season, though, and I will probably change it soon. Hope you will like the new look, too. Thanks for stopping by (I hear you about that busy life and need to slow it down!).

Wonderful story. That's nice that your Mia let's you retell it.:) As many of the other comments, it speaks to me about letting go of control. When we attempt to control others, we often end up hurting ourselves. Take care.

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About Me

I am a Southern girl transplanted to the Pacific Northwest. I have 5 kids, 2 grandchildren, 6 birds, and a dog.
My new blog, No Way Cafe, is about how the principle of wu wei, or non-action, can manifest in our lives, bringing peace and joy to our spirits. This blog is inspired from many sources, including the Tao Te Ching and my martial arts practice.
My first blog was about 10 habits that transformed my life from one grounded in fear to one grounded in joy. I no longer add new material to this blog but it's still online.
Galen Pearl is my pen name.