Oh shit son, it's December. Too bad you never lost any of that weight or called your brother like you promised your mom you would. It's ok though, boo! We got you. In fact, we even brought our hot sister and her friend. Oh, and some ENDER'S GAME rage.

We also got water park horror stories for days. We should market that as a show, "American Water Park Horror Story", except instead of ghost gimp suits and crying losers, its got poop and pee jokes. You know, for kids.

Heads up, we also fangirl over the new Harry Potter theme park announcement, but this lasts about ten seconds before the conversation heads right back down the sewer into Pooptopolis (occupation: all of it).
Happy Holidays! Don't drink the water.

Amazon Wishlist topper!!!!

I mean, if you saw something that looked remotely like shit, would you get a closer look?

Palette Cleanser.

We would be really happy to receive any comments, questions, or internet memes. If that sounds like it tickles your fancy, send an email to [email protected].