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Lessons from Poland

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve documented most sets I’ve done here in Poland either on video or audio. As the trip is coming to an end, here is a summary of the things I’ve decided to work on from looking/listening to my sets.

Smile early, challenge later

In order to win the trust of a girl, you have to smile! Not smiling makes you come off as a scary man who the girl would never sleep with, even if she might be attracted to your unreactiveness. The biggest focus on smiling should be put in the very beginning of the interaction, but it is also important to not forget to smile further into the interaction even though you can leave room for challenging etc.Once you have the trust of the girl, challenging her is a very useful tool for showing her that you are non needy and that you have standards for the people you meet. It’s crucial not to challenge the girl too early, as she will simply be unable to handle it. Also, she doesn’t have a reason to handle it unless you have provided value in the interaction already.

Assume the burden of the interaction

In the beginning of the interaction, YOU HAVE TO TALK. Provide the meat of the conversation. Don’t expect the girl to talk. Don’t ask too many questions. Most girls are simply not capable of assuming the burden of the conversation in the beginning of the set. It doesn’t mean that they are not interested in you or that they don’t have time to talk to you, it just means that they are not comfortable with you yet. If you happen to ask the girl a question and she is unable to answer it, recognise that and answer her question for her, for example with a cold read. KEEP TALKING until she gets relaxed enough to contribute to the interaction. THEN comes the time for putting pressure on her.

Have masculine body language

Keep your back straighter than you think is necessary, especially in the beginning in the interaction. Keep your head up high, and avoid bringing it down. Conveying higher value through body language is easy if you commit to it.

Get to know the girl (run a longer set than you think is necessary)

Once you’ve reached hook point with the girl, it is very important that you don’t just take her number and leave. A number taken without letting the girl invest WILL flake. Stay in the set for longer than you think is necessary, ask the boring questions with the occasional spikes in between. Get to know some facts about her. Tell her some about yourself. Remember though, that this is done LATE in the interaction. In the beginning, it’s all about the flirting.

Be persistent

If a girl tells you she has to go, say “One more thing before you go”. Often girls will say they have to go because they are not comfortable enough with you. If you notice they are pulling away, the key is to execute on point number 2 in order to give them a reason to stay with you.