He left One month before the Wedding

I met my Ex Fiance in Australia on a youth group tril which he was also participating in. He was from anther state. Well after the trip we began chatting and became super close. Then he told me had to go away to care for his sick grandfather to a foreign country. So, although i was bummed, i just let him go. And he left me with these words. “When i come back in 6 months, if you and i are still single, maybe we can start something.”

Well he left to this “foreign country” and meanwhile i began to date my best friend. About 8 months later, he contacted me telling me he was home. I told him i was dating someone, but he said he didn’t care and that he would wait for me. I really liked him, so i told my best friend we needed i break because i needed to see what i really wanted. Well i broke his heart (he is fine now, and happy and married)

I began talking to this guy again and becoming closer and closer by the minute. His family came all the way from their state to mine to visit and that is when he asked me to be his girlfriend (after only 3 months). I said yes, and our journey bagan.

He moved to my state about 6 months later. Packed all his belongings and left his job at his father’s company and moved here to be with me. He found a job, although not very well paid, it was a job. My family was happy to have him here, as was i. I couldn’t believe someone would move just for me. Anyway. about 1.5 years later, we went on a trip to Spain for a friends wedding. In Spain, he proposed to me and i said yes.

We planned for the wedding to be a year from the day he proposed. When we came home, our respective families were not too happy. I am an only daughter and never had a boyfriend before and now this guy was taking me away out of nowhere (i think that is how they thought) and his family, well his dad was never fond of me because he thought i forced his son to leave his home town to be with me. (which i did not and would not ever do). But his dad told me i was very stubborn, not submissive and didnt love his golden boy (son). We had to deal with this a lot, But when we were alone we were so happy. My family finally came to terms and completely apologized for their behavior. They even paid for the honeymoon and wedding venue. They really made a 180 degree turn and were very supportive.

Unfortunatley, i cannot say the same for his parents. They tried very hard to convince him to stop the wedding plans. For a brief moment they came to my state and helped us look for venues and seemed very happy, i dont know what happen that changed their mind again. But enough to say, that about 3-4 months before the wedding, his dad wrote him a super long email which stated a lot of nonesense, but ultimately that if he married me, they would not attend, and he basically would be band from his family. We took this letter to a counselor, because we didnt understand why he hated me so much, or what he saw so wrong with me for his son.

I treated his son like a king. And my family did also. He seemed very happy here and was a very good boyfriend to me. Participated in every detail of the wedding. His family was the only problem. His dad wanted him home.

Well, to make a story short. He packed all of our things to take to our new apartment back to his state (were we planned to live) he packed my wedding gifts, my clothes, our furniture etc. And he took off. And he cried as he did so.

About two weeks later. He called me and said he had to postpon the wedding. For one year. I was in complete SHOCK!!! WHAT! but everything was ready, we had only 3 weeks to go! And the most frustrating part, was the he was far away when he told me this, so i couldn’t drive to his house and speak face to face.

After he postponed the wedding, he became like a rock. Cold and without feelings. He wasn’t mean, just emotionless. Then he started avoiding my calls and txts, until he didnt’ speak to me at all. One week later after not speaking, i found out through a mutual friend, that he left to another state on a church mission. That same night he emailed me explaining that he left and that he couldnt’ marry me because it would be unjust for me if he married me in the state he was in.

I was even in deeper SHOCK. He said he loved me a lot and didn’t knwo why all this happened and why God was allowing this. But either way he was gone. He was in this place for about 3 months, when for my birthday he emailed me, saying happy birthday etc. Thats when i asked him why all this happened etc. And our communication finally began to open up again. We spoke for about 2.5 months, and he told me he was coming back after he finished his mission. That he might even quit early and that he was so sorry and on and on. I beleived him. well, 8 months later, he finally went home (his hometown) And its been almost a year since our (supposed wedding) and he hasn’t even contacted me.

I really don’t know what to think at this point. I already packed all his clothes, gifts he gave throughout the years, his wedding suit etc and its ready to be shipped out to his home. I saw a picture of him on Google with some girl. I don’t want to project, but he definitly moved on fast. Or did he? I do not have a clue. We were truly great together, that is what makes it more confusing.

He was the one who proposed and always spoke about marrying me FAST and our soon to be nightly pajama parties.

Any clue? I don’t have his cell number. I do have his email, but i want to reserve any diginity i have left. If he wants to talk to me, he knows where i am, where i live and my email.

By the way (very important) When he said he had to leave to take care of his grandfather , well that was a lie. He was in New York with his girfriend. And he also proposed to her and cancelled it immediately after, because according to him he didnt love her, and he could’t stop thinking of me. etc….. i found he was engaged before 6 months into our relationship. Commitment problems? No. He commits too much

@Alex8120:” And its been almost a year since our (supposed wedding) and he hasn’t even contacted me. “

I’m sorry, but this guy is gone. You need to put him behind you and look for someone else. Don’t reply if he contacts you again. He has treated you really badly, he doesn’t deserve even to talk to you again. Ship his stuff away and be done with him, and move on. Sorry, all I can say is some people aren’t all they pretend to be.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can tell that you are even now shellshocked by this man and the near-marriage experience you had. It is a loss and it is traumatic – but count yourself lucky. He lied from the start, chances are he’d have lied to you through a whole marriage. And his dad who hates you for no reason? There is more to life than fussing about a man like this. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Ship his gear to him and start living your life. He has already taken too much of your time.

He sounds like a jerk to me. I think the only advice that anyone can give you is to move on. It seems like he already has… Get out there and date and enjoy life. Don’t waste another minute on this man. You deserve better.