i remember one conversation when I was a freshman in college and one of the older guys said,“when she lifts her hips so you can slide off her panties, you know you’re getting laid, and if it wasn’t for pleasing her, you might as well come then.”

People say “intimacy” so much that the word becomes a cliche and loses its meaning. But that really is the best thing. When you’re with someone and really care about each other, sex amplifies your feelings of connectedness and your mental/emotional connection amplifies the pleasure. It becomes this wonderful feedback loop.

So for instance, kissing their shoulder during sex isn’t just that action. It’s kissing the shoulder of your favorite person on earth at that moment. That might feel nice physically, but the affection behind it matters just as much, and you feel both at once. And that prompts them to do something else to you, etc etc etc, until you’re in your own little bubble of sensation and affection.

That truly is a best-case scenario, and it’s rare. It takes kind of a leap of faith to feel that way about someone. If you’re wrong about them, what a disappointment. Or it could be a flash in the pan.

Without the intimacy, it’s kind of like, “oh, hey, cool. I’m getting laid. I wonder what’s on TV right now?” Like, my enthusiasm is maybe a 6 on a scale of 1–10.

For me, it is the moment when she passes the point of no return. Fingers clenching, eyes widening, back arching, hips bucking. A flurry of convulsions and contractions. The most beautiful loss of control.

@Jonesn4burgers I meant what is happening in the moment, as well as the anticipation of what is coming next… It’s not all about the destination. Though it helps when the destination is fantastic.

But I suppose I should amend that statement. Sometimes when we’re lucky the chemistry makes my opinion true. But its not always there. And really if we are talking specific partners I can’t generalize what part I typically enjoy the most.