So Mary is banging one of the good ole boys on the block.. While Joe is only getting ass ass.. Then Mary gets knocked up.. She don't know what to do..So she tells the biggest lie every told.. An unseen spirit gave her a hell of a ride and now she is going to hatch a little bastard.. Joe being a nice guy wants to cover for her.. He loads Mary's ass on the family ass and takes her down the road to another town.. People there wont know "the lie".. They pull into town, broke like most young folks.No room at the no tell motel.. There is stall in the barn.. (( where do you think " close the door, christ were you born in a barn" came from? [size=85][/size] So Mary Drops her little bundle and carries this lie for the next 2000 years

..but no, for realsies. I would love to know the truth behind some of the more popular bible stories. I mean.. I have no doubt that some dude name Jesus existed and cruised around stoking people out. But come on.. *nudge*nudge*.. they must have had some good shit out there in the desert..

Historical records show there was a Mary ( they know her birth town) And her first child was named Jesus .. Jesus grow up and became a great prophet.. He told people that the old religion of the land was wrong.. That people should live free..He went so far as to martyr his own life to make this point.. After his death.. People went out to witnessed his teachings.. Twenty eight of these witnesses stories were written and found in stone boxes years later.. One catholic bishop was assigned to rewrite the 28 books.. The bishop being a lazy ass, decided that there were four winds so he would only translate four books.. This bishop (alone) was the spin doctor that wrote the fairy story known as the new testament. Some later wrote in the last chapter in order for the church to totoly control the herd.. Along with all the hell fire and brimstone.. A lot on shit was plagiarized from myths from other of other countries..

" In my book Jesus was a great man.. Sad that the church had to bastardize his teachings.."

Dr Helix wrote:You like that one, you have to love the story of Joseph Smith and the Golden Plates. Oh oh, and there's an Angel. Named Moroni.

One has to wounder if Smithie got hold of some of some of that good shit them old boy were smoking.. You see people and hear voices coming out of burning sage brush if it "real good shit".. But the church even did a spin on his rants.. Read a cross reference bible while reading the book morons.. They were worse writer than me.. Or they were smoking "real good shit"..

Dr Helix wrote:Someone once said that all religion is just guilt with different holidays.

The holidays are all Pagan.. Religion joined in, then claimed the days for them self.Take good look at all the trappings of a holiday.. Lots came from close to the last outpost of pagan, Germany..

By "religion" I think you mean "Christianity". Paganism is religion too.

well, technically, Doughly "Paganism" is like saying "christianity", there are lots of flavors that fall under that heading.It's a (originally derogatory) term for "hill people" like "Heathen" (people of the "heath" or "brushy places).It's now come to be used to refer to polytheists, though, as in Teutonic times, often a family, or whole village, would worship or honor just one of the pantheon available. Germany was not the last of the norther european nations to fall......far from it.Arguably, Estonia was, and may never have, if you ask them. And the Icelanders populated there, to avoid the "conversion".

Yeah, I hear you; I'm being semantic, don't mind me. But for me, it's like the neo-pagans who eschew the word "holy" as if the People of the Book (Christians) have a patent on that word. And you know, the practice of saying "bless you" when somebody sneezed goes back to pre-Christian Roman times.The pagan Greeks and Romans had a very organized religion or religions, depending on how you counted them, and sometimes they even made sense, which is probably why the Christians stole so much of it.

Frankly, I don't even think of Jesus this time of year; am I supposed to?

For what it's worth, I don't think they started really telling tall tales about the guy until a few centuries after his death (and much of it was lifted from the greeks and egyptians). I read some of the translations of the Dead Sea Scrolls a few years back too, while tough to read it was fascinating since it was largely a journal kept by a sea captain. Sure enough it mentioned M&J's kid in it, but unfortunately there were no tales of miracles or other magical properties - he was just one of the many pushing around their religions.

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Even the current pope thinks they got the year of his birth wrong, as well as a few other details. Others think the dude's birthday was actually April 17. Gotta suck when hundreds of millions of people who claim to be friends and followers can't even get your birthday right.

The christmas was set to fit the shortest day of the sun and returning of the sun/"son".. It saved having to chop all those head off of the non converters..The was one of the great Pagan days.. Same with easter, with all the eggs and rabbits and other breeding stuff.

The Roman become catholic to unite there armies.. The Ottomen had beat the Roman back over have the empire.. They just needed more cannon fadder just to hold on..