Privilege Price List

How much is your privilege worth?

One of the hardest parts of navigating our way around every day casual racism for people in the global majority is getting white people, who do not share our experiences with the oppression their privilege enacts on the rest of us to ensure their place in society, to see the oppression we face daily for what it is. One of the side effects of living with white privilege is the luxury of being blind to the depth and extent of the oppression of the rest of of us that are not in the ruling diaspora.
It is my intention with my Extreme Unpacking website/blog and podcast (coming soon!) to shed a harsh, unapologetic light on the many ways that white supremacy challenges us. We are resisted, pushed back against, checked, silenced and most of the time it’s not even for “rebelling” or protesting (as if that were not our right either) but for simply trying to live our daily lives as fully realized and autonomous human beings that are equal to the white people. White people that don’t even see how they constantly remind us that we are not a part of their community and do not fit their illusions of what a person is.

One of the ways that white supremacy oppresses us is by making everyone besides the white people do all the heavy lifting of social justice work for free. White “activists” always have the choice to opt-out, to step back, to ‘take a break from the news.’ But for those of us not pale enough to be on the beneficiary side of white supremacy, those of us who have been fighting to have our humanity recognized by the most resistant, are struggling for our very survival and recognition as humans. We do not get the option to willingly burn out, opt out, or all the other options white people have to avoid any form of activism that is not intersectional with their own individual personal struggles. Some of us get run over in more intersections by cars that you never even saw the model of.

Hobby allies, “well-meaning-white-women,” safety-pin wearing “allies” who do literally nothing else to help any brown person, dreadlocked white “activist” youth, liberals that “see no color” in order to avoid looking at the struggles that our color creates for us while they are pretending we’re all white like them, have all the same privileges (that they deny even exist) as white people, which leads to victim blaming, all these people extract our attention, our time, our energy, and some of them, our joy, in the form of some very specific, recurring privileges that are demanded from us every time we are obliged to engage in the defense of our own humanity.

Please use this handy price guide as a means of determining the dollar amounts you owe your dark-skinned friend. I use the singular because the most demanding of all are the white people that have only one dark friend to demand all this from. Because I am Vietnamese-American, I used Vietnam war veterans in my price list, but anyone whose country has been brutalized by imperialism can substitute the applicable country of your resistance.

There is nothing on this price list that white people are not already constantly assuming we will do for them without ever once pausing to acknowledge for a second the mental and emotional toll their assumed entitlement to our labor costs us.

Become a monthly supporter by subscribing to ongoing specific privileges here:Patreon Sponsors are treated to extra rewards including email updates, candid photographs and bonus observations from my travels, and personalized virtual postcards from around the world! If you want to on my A-list that learns about my travels first, sponsoring me monthly through Patreon is your best bet for maximum gratitude from me!

Individual payments of any frequency and amount:All the links below here are to Paypal:

Pay For Your Privileges: à la carte menu

One Ally Head-pat: $5

For five dollars I will give you a visual pat on the head and thank you in person for being my ally. You can purchase individual head pats for specific actions you took to defend one of us from a racist attack. I am running a Two-for-One special if you got bruised or bloodied.

I Am A Good Person! Gold star: $10

Do you need to be reassured that you are a good person even after a mean ol’ dark skinned person called you out on something racist you said or did? This offer will go into effect on a delay if what you did was a. actually racist AND b. you refuse to see how. Never fear, I have just the thing for you! check out “Explain why one scenario is racist” in my menu below. Once you comprehend the nuances of how damaging your racist words or actions were, then you will have actually earned your Good Person Gold Star and I am happy to award it to you! Otherwise these Good Person Gold Stars I offer would be worthless!

Token Azn Friend: $50

For $50/mo. you can drop my name, share photos of me on your social media to tell people not ALL your friends are white people because you have an Asian friend. Please be aware that there has been some Token inflation in today’s social climate. You’re going to need at least two token friends from each diaspora to truly be “not a racist” to the rest of us.

In the interest of accommodating token inflation, which requires you to have at least two ethnic friends from each diaspora to legitimize white people as non-racist, with “diversity” in their social circle, I want to add links to other Paypal/GoFundMe accounts of others willing to sell off our ethnic friend tokens to white people that need us to further their reputations as allies or activists because they actually have a dark-skinned friend or six. Here is another Token Azn Friend you can purchase for one month:

Explain why one scenario is racist (Prices vary)

Get answers about one how one specific scenario is racist exactly. This item buys you my full attention to one question. For an extra fee I will even couch my explanation in words that are carefully chosen to not injure your delicate feelings so that you can keep pretending we are friends because I did not make you feel uomfortable about your role or complicity in said situation as I explain it to you. The added fragilty accommodation fee will automatically be applied if the words “I am not your enemy” are used by you while having the inherent racism of the incident of your choice explained to you.

Explain To Me How This Is Racist

What is your Scenario?

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Need Space Held For You?

(prices vary by amount of space you take)

White people have feelings about racism too! Usually so hard that all the brown people who are actually experiencing the racism end up having to comfort, console, and otherwise put our own feelings and experiences aside to make room for the feelings that white people have. We end up sacrificing our time, energy, and spaces to them. Some white people know better, but they still cannot help barging on conversations full of brown people trying to process something that happens to them to exclaim how sad or guilty they feel, if they don’t get full out defensive about being manipulated towards guilt for being white. Here are the prices for some of the most common demands on us. This purchase guarantees genuine, eyeroll and exasperated sigh-free space for your feelings.

What kind of space do you need held for you?

Absolution! Buy forgiveness from me here!

I am ordained clergy and am able to provide genuine forgiveness and absolution. I have been accosted frequently by white people seeking absolution for things they have said and done to others in their past. These people never once pause to consider the heavy toll that hearing about their bad behavior has on us. Often hearing someone recount things they have said and done in ignorance is as traumatizing as if they were doing those things to us. Bu the forgiveness is demanded anyway. I will no longer be offering this service for free anymore. Tell me about your racist activities and I will forgive you for them, for a fee that reflects how much of a toll your demands for absolution take out of my soul.

What can I forgive you for?

The menu is funny huh? It is only partially in jest, in that I do not think there are actually any white people out there sincere enough about their allyship to actually pay me for the work I, or any of the rest of us do all the time. Haha, the jokes on me. I HAVE DONE ALL OF THIS WORK BEFORE ALREADY, I would hazard a guess that every marginalized person you know has, as these white words and actions are relatively universal, not because “white people are all alike” because that would be racist amirite? but because ALL white people are raised and live on the beneficiary side of white privilege and most ofdo I really think any white people will pay up for my efforts? Hysterical laughter to the point of tears begin now.