It seems more than a trophy and some t-shirts should be at stake when you wear the title “World Champions”. I wanna see some real consequences, some real responsibilities. So, San Francisco Giants — if you are indeed championing all of us in this world, what the hell are you going to do about this worst-ever monster storm that’s bearing down on your old hometown?

I suppose making sure we wouldn’t have to worry about missing any additional World Series games amid any potential power outages was the Giants’ first act as our champions. I was hoping for a solution to global climate change, but there’s only so much you can realistically ask out of a baseball team, even the best one in the land.

Congratulations to the recurring champs, whatever the parameters of their jurisdiction. Thanks for getting your reign started before the rains kick in. And, honestly, thanks for getting the Series over with in four straight[1], even if the fourth game was the first really good one and put me in the mood for maybe three more before calling it winter. Yet, with no disrespect to Our (briefly) Beloved Detroit Tigers, that probably wouldn’t have worked, and not just for reasons pertaining to the reliability of local utilities. This Series belonged to the Giants for far too long to suddenly grow overly tense. You start not winning Game Four, then maybe Verlander remembers he’s Verlander in Game Five, and now it’s Halloween, which would make the optics great in the home of the orange and black for Game Six…

But, nah. This baseball postseason had to end because it was an adjunct of this baseball regular season, an entity that included, you might recall, the long, slow deterioration of the once-promising 2012 New York Mets. Remember them? They seem as distant to us now as the 1912 New York Giants even though they were playing ball in our name fewer than four weeks ago. The longer the 2012 World Series wore on, the longer there was the faintest hint of 74-88 disappointment in the atmosphere. We had to see Baseball 2012 complete its appointed rounds in order to fully start strategizing and self-deluding in advance of Baseball 2013.

Really, we didn’t need a little more postseason baseball now. We need much better Mets baseball soon. And we need monster storms to take sharp right turns into the Atlantic and leave us be. I’ll take that one ASAP, and a better Mets team in April.

Hey World Champion Giants, get on those requests right away, wouldja? It would make our world a whole lot happier.

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