December 6th, 2012

The holidays are edging—or maybe rushing—ever closer. If you’re starting to panic, don’t! There’s always trusty Amazon, just a click away on neo-neocon.

I’m happy and grateful for everything you buy through clicking on one of my Amazon widgets, or through this link. It may seem like a small thing, but it all adds up.

But here’s a question for you: has anyone ever actually used one of these contraptions? I remember way back when I was married in [year redacted] they were all the rage. I got some as wedding presents. Never used.

And now I see they’re back. Are people actually making fondue now? At home? Or is the gift the same kind of “sounds like a good idea but really isn’t” thing it was back then? Or maybe I was the only one who didn’t jump on the fondue bandwagon back in the 70s. Did you or anyone you know ever actually cook fondue at home?

Which brings us to: bonsai, another blast from the gifting past. I once received a thoughtful, expensive, gift-that-should-have-kept-on-giving of a year of bonsai, one a month. Reading the instructions engendered a mild panic in me: these things were going to die in my house. So I canceled the order; I didn’t want twelve bonsai corpses on my conscience.

Now that I’ve told you what I wouldn’t get (your mileage may differ), what would I get? Besides, that is, all the fabulous things listed at my widgets on the right sidebar, and all the books I’ve ever recommended?

Well, there’s this: a fabulous live Dire straits album from the 80s. I’m a big big BIG fan; have probably listened to this a thousand times so far, and I’m just getting warmed up.

And then, if either you or someone you know and love has the problem I have of using a heavy hand when packing luggage, edging your/her/his bags perilously close to the 50 pound danger mark, these doohickeys are a good idea. And some of them actually work; I have one that does, but unfortunately I can’t locate it right now so I can’t tell you what brand it is. Drat. Try to be more organized than I am—or than she is:

Do you keep your sleep companion (see how PC I am?) up at night because you like to listen to the TV turned up very LOUD? Or perhaps not just at bedtime, but all the time, annoying everyone in the house, including the dog? Has this even perhaps caused a battle or two? Well—this gadget works pretty well to avoid the whole problem.

And I’m not even sure I get any money if you order that one, because it doesn’t come directly from Amazon. But I’m trying to save your marriage, so I’ll sacrifice (and maybe I do get a commission from the order; I don’t really know all the details of how it works).

We get together with friends every few year and cook vegetables and hunks of various animals in peanut oil using a fondue pot. It’s an opportunity to sit around and talk and try different combinations and different dipping sauces and generally eat way too much.

We have considered getting one for our own home, but it wouldn’t be the same without the company, and, well, now I have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old and the dad in me breaks out in hives just thinking about them with hot peanut oil in the house.

The barking rats are cute. I’m sure my cats would find them amusing. And my sister has almost certainly studied this girl’s instructional video closely. It drives her husband nuts that she needs to take so much for just a weekend, most of which she never wears or uses. He and I each take a small backpack or carry-on suitcase, and we’re good.

My one memory of a fondue restaurant is of second-degree burns and no hair left on my arms after dinner from the hot oil spattering all over. The food was very tasty, but I’m not into pain, so I never went back.

I like fondue, but it’s way too much trouble if you’re not having a party. If you’re entertaining guests, then it’s a nice touch just because it IS too much trouble for only a couple people.

All the local fondue places (“The Melting Pot”s) that I am aware of all closed. I think they were awfully expensive, and that hurt them a lot in the early 2000s recession. They were a good place for a date but, as I said, expensive, so you’d have to want to splurge a lot on the girl.

Fondue certainly appeals to women a lot more than men, as men don’t have that chocolate gene (it’s ‘X’ recessive, apparently).

We certainly like chocolate, but don’t go apeshit bonkers over it like women usually do.

God, my family used to have fondue about once a month growing up, especially when vacationing in a cabin. It’s fun when there’s a crowd and it’s after skiing, sledding, etc. (raclette is good for this, too.) Now I have to dig out my fondue pot (wedding shower gift from my sis) and put it to good use…

I don’t know anyone who has an expensive pair of noise-cancelling headphones who doesn’t like them… Since the tech isn’t “new” any more, the price of some seem to be getting down to something reasonable — as in 30-50 bucks. Can’t speak for the quality of them as of yet, haven’t needed to buy a new pair of headphones recently.

About Me

Previously a lifelong Democrat, born in New York and living in New England, surrounded by liberals on all sides, I've found myself slowly but surely leaving the fold and becoming that dread thing: a neocon. Read More >>