This is what happens when you roll a garbage bag full of pork into the Salvation Army clothing section and then a genie appears and says "I'll grant you one wish" and the garbage bag full of pork says "I wish all the pubic hair in the world would somehow group together and form a giant wad and then that giant wad would attach itself to my head" and the genie paid Wal-Mart $3 to take a photo of the results so he could save it in a folder labeled "RETARDED FAGS IN VESTS"