When you dine in a Japanese restaurant, don’t use your chopsticks like drumsticks

Chopsticks should be used for eating, not drumming on glasses and bowls. Craig Lee/The San Francisco Chronicle 2004

Most of the time on this blog I deal with etiquette in western restaurants, but recently I got an email from a worker wondering when some Americans will learn etiquette of other cultures:

I am writing to see if at any point do people ask or concern themselves with dining etiquette in regards to chopsticks? I manage a nice Japanese restaurant in town that is frequented by affluent, wealthy, classy (and sometimes not-so-classy) people.

At least once a night, I will hear the annoying sound of people playing drums with their chopsticks and glassware. The behavior makes me shudder, almost akin to fingernails on a blackboard. I often ask myself, “When was the last time that guy (which often they are) played drums with his silverware in a nice steak house?” It is childish behavior, and if you have ever been to Japan, no matter how old a child is, would never play with their chopsticks, called o-hashi. It is disrespectful.

I have been to Japan several times and love the food culture, especially all of the little idiosyncrasies when it comes to dining etiquette. I feel that Japanese food became so popular so quickly in America, that we never were taught or learned the proper etiquette that comes along with eating Japanese.

How can I politely tell these people that it is impolite/disrespectful, and at the very least irritating to others?

Arigato gozaimashita!!

It’s true that some Americans show disrespect for other cultures, often out of ignorance. For example many people don’t realize they should turn their chopsticks around and use the unused end when getting things from a communal platter. However it doesn’t take any culinary knowledge to know that playing with a dining utensil at the table is gauche, regardless of the culture.

However, how you as a manager can handle the situation is more of a challenge. Maybe other restaurant owners who read this blog can offer advice. Mine is basically to confront the situation in kind of a passive aggressive way. When you hear it go the table, look at the wannabe drummer and say, “Can I get you something?” That will stop the action, and if you’re lucky the behavior won’t be repeated.