Gossip Rags on the Prowl

While I have gotten many far-too-early-in-the-morning calls from east coast reporters looking for statements about this or that, I’ve so far escaped the hounding of gossip mags. J.Sto was not so lucky. We however are so lucky, since she details the conversation for us and spills all the details.

“I’m afraid that I didn’t have anything to tell Rita Skeeter. However, since Rita so intelligently observed that I, “seem like a nice girl who is smart for my age,” she will allow me to call her anytime to give her tips. (“Especially when you’re acting on set!”) And, AND! She’ll pay me and plug my latest project. I would, apparently, be surprised at how many celebrities do this because:

A. They want publicity.
B. “It’s good money.”
C. They’re retarded.D. All of the above.

I told Rita that she and I must have different ideas of what “good money” is, and that I actually don’t think any money is “good,” for that matter. In fact, I think it’s pretty evil. That’s when she explained that I could also give her tips for revenge. You know, if I hate another celebrity…

Talk about an offer I can’t refuse! I’ll add your number to my speed dial.”