Here's our big question: why does the guy in the elevator know what rhino shit smells like? Even even if somebody's breath did smell like rhino shit, our heads wouldn't immediately go there because we lack the appropriate frame of reference.

We'd be like, "Ooh. Stale bacon mixed with carcass of month-old monkey fetus." Because you know, we deal with that stuff in everyday life.

This is neat. During the Wilderness Fair in Stockholm, the Miami Guerrilla Agency used removable paint to spray images of divers on the ground in the style of road signs around the area. Above the divers is an arrow pointing to the nearest body of water; below is the web address www.borjadyka.nu (www.startdiving.now). See a variation.

The promotion is for the Swedish Diving Association's "Diving Village," a Wilderness Fair attraction. Hope nobody got the wrong idea and jumped instead.

In this article, CNBC writer Darren Rovell uses convoluted logic to ask what consumers, in their childlike naivete, are supposed to extract from relationships between athletes and the brands that sponsor them. (And their trainers. And their trainers' websites.)

Here's the puzzle the column poses: say you're a kid, and you want to be the next LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson is part of Nike's SPARQ training program. He also wears Nikes on the field. But Todd Durkin, Tomlinson's trainer, has a website sponsored by Under Armour.

Assuming you're wack enough to think this will fundamentally alter your destiny, what do you BUY? Nike trainers or Under Armour's? The author's so stuck on this that he's even taking a poll. (Who would you follow: athlete or trainer?)

We'd laugh this whole thing off, because it really is ridiculous, but then we got to thinking. Do sponsored associations between people and products really mean something?

Oh for fuck's sake! So a Governor had sex with a prostitute. Sex. He had sex. He didn't murder anyone, blow up a building or otherwise harm another person (as far as our limited knowledge of the man allows). He had sex. OK, he paid for it but it was still sex. Anyway, he's not Governor any more and has been endlessly shamed for his wrong doing. Rightly so, as many believe. If you don't know who we're talking about yet, you've been on another planet.

So leave it to a marketer to capitalize on the downfall of another by...offering money to place the image of Ashley Dupre/Youmans/DiPietro, the call girl that caused the downfall of the aforementioned Governor Eliot Spitzer, on the backs of buses to promote vodka. Yes, Georgi vodka wants to pay Dupre a low six figure sum to become the vodka brand's "butt girl."

These are really, really bad! No, wait, these are really, really good! No wait....damn it, we're conflicted about this new DISH Network work sent to us from Fueld (yes, that's spelled correctly) Films. In the three commercials, comedian Frank Caliendo takes on the personas of Al Pacino, Donald Trump and George Bush. He does a fairly good job but we're not sure these commercials sold us anything.

In conjunction with Fuel Industries, McDonald's Europe is launching digital "toys" for Happy Meals through April and May.

The "Fairies and Dragons" universe (for girls and boys, respectively) can be accessed via CD-ROMs inside old-school McD's Happy Meals. The campaign and associated characters are original creations by Fuel (for mommies who get moody about rampant product placement).

Leo Burnett London Futures Editor Ben Hourahine thinks he has the answers to the future of advertising. Some of what he says makes sense. Some just reinforces the notion advertising will accost anything it can get its hand on. There are no easy answers but at least it's being talked about.

One thing is clear. Marketers and advertisers will never again have the power they once had. There will never again be another M*A*S*H TV moment. Fragmentation will continue to the point of individualized advertising. Advertising, itself, won't really be advertising at all. It will be an information repository people can refer to when they are interested in a particular brand or product.

Tabasco's Chipotle Sauce, Weber Grill Creations seasonings, Royal Oak charcoal and Chinet tableware have joined forces with the Kansas City Barbeque Society to launch the first-ever Great American BBQ Tour.

The sample- and recipe-packed bus will start its slow journey in Rio Rancho, New Mexico during the Pork 'n' Brew BBQ Cookoff from March 28-29. It'll visit 25 cities before coming to a stop at the Jack Daniels World Championship Invitational in Lynchburg, TN (October 24-25).

DegreeRookie.com's hosting a sweat-inducing six-part mini-series based on 24. It won't have any of your favourite characters, and indeed has nothing to do with the show's primary plotline, but we're sure nobody'll notice as long as 24 is visibly associated with whatever's streaming.

- Do we really need more Elliot Spitzer jokes? Apparently so and this time it comes courtesy of New York magazine which commissioned three artists to take their shots. Three entries come from Ogilvy & Mather.

- If you want to step inside the offices of Wieden + Kennedy, you can (well, virtually) courtesy of this Flickr photo set.

Aw, this is cute. Watch an apathetic VEGAS.com employee explore Sodom on a Segway. We like it best when he rejects the strawberry like it's poo.

This is part of a spankin'-new VEGAS.com TV campaign called "The Vegas Experts." It cost a total of $20 million. Other spots -- produced by Stella Productions -- will follow the exploits of the Las Vegas geek squad as they go about their daily business, which is nothing like cog life anywhere else in corporate America.

Featured celebrities will include The Blue Man Group, Carrot Top and Louie Anderson against backdrops like Jubilee, Fantasy, X Burlesque and Le Reve (where this ad takes place).

Leave it to Copyranter to find the raciest ads out there and leave it to Adrants to share them with you. While there are literally thousands of words (we learned many we'd never heard of while having dinner with the Fleshbot crew at SXSW) to describe that particular area between a woman's legs, "box" remains one of the most popular and one of the most goofed. So, it is without surprise, the headline next to a visual of 2007's Ms. Bikini Universe Marzia Prince with a box of body strength supplement Gaspari Nutrition in front of her, yes, box, reads, "The Most Sought After Box on the Planet."

What more can we say? Sometimes headlines just write themselves, don't they?

Dark. Moody. Mesmerizing. Mysterious.Yes, we are attaching these descriptors to a car commercial. A Ford Fusion car commercial no less. In the commercial, we see a man drive off from the airport while a plane takes off. He then drives across land and see to arrive at the plane's destination to tell the woman he loves he forgot to tell her something before they parted hours earlier.

Adding to the cryptic intensity of the spot, created by Y & R Toronto, is the fact we never find out what it was the man forgot to tell the woman. Very, very nice.

A tipster tells us Interep, facing repayment of $100 million in bonds, is expected to file for bankruptcy within a month. The move causes one question the viability of radio's current business model and how long it can last before it has to die or completely transform itself into something new and different.

Ah yes, that occasionally embarrassing morning moment when you find yourself (if you're a guy) tenting your sheets with no way to hide the fact you're sprung. Either due to that early morning dream about the hot girl you saw on Flickr and are now having sex with in your mind...or the serious need to take a piss, morning wood is something all guys have to deal with from time to time.

A new ad from the Democratic National Committee called Bush/McCain: Lockstep argues presidential candidate John McCain, since after 9/11, has been in complete agreement with President Bush regarding America's presence in Iraq. If you're a Republican, you'll love it because McCain will give you more of what you already have. If you're a Democrat, you'll love it because it highlights everything you dislike about America's presence in Iraq. Hmm. A political ad both sides can like?