Mauricio Pochettino sat down beside himself, draped his right arm across his shoulders and looked smilingly into the camera as Spurs staged another shoot to mark the signing of a big new contract. Then the manager ordered the club to get down to more business. And so, Spurs are preparing lucrative offers for Kayla the Eagle, the Crystals cheerleading ensemble and a bust of Roy Hodgson, all in an effort to make Wilfried Zaha feel at home at the new White Hart Lane. Then all Spurs will have to do is convince Crystal Palace to sell their prize asset, so we could be about to find out whether Daniel Levy likes being hardballed. The Spurs chairman is already wincing in anticipation, with £100m having been mentioned as a possible fee for Zaha.

Liverpool to step up pursuit of Lyon’s £70m-rated Nabil Fekir

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But Levy has promised Pochettino he will do his utmost to land the manager’s transfer targets so he might just have to grin and bear it. He does, at least, have alternatives: if Palace won’t cough up Zaha, Spurs will turn their attentions to Anthony Martial, whom Manchester United rated about as highly as they rated Zaha in the end. Spurs also have some leverage from the fact that United want to sign Toby Alderweireld. But there are doubts as to whether Martial wants to go to Palace, especially with Juventus also in the frame. And why are Juventus in the frame? Because they need a replacement for Douglas Costa, who excelled on loan from Bayern Munich last season but is not expected to return to Turin despite a purchase option because he is about to become the subject of a £75m transfer to … Manchester United. Circles within circles.

But Pochettino doesn’t want to hear excuses. He has no truck whatsoever with people who promise big but then flop just short of the finish. No siree. So once Zaha and/or Martial are in the bag, he wants Spurs to lure Ryan Sessegnon from Fulham and the centre-back Matthijs de Ligt from Ajax. And he’s half-thinking about making a late attempt to attract Emre Can, even though the Liverpool midfielder has been fluttering eyelids at Juventus for months.

Liverpool, meanwhile, are poised not only to strength their armoury by bringing Nabil Fekir from Lyon but are also plotting a swoop for the German striker Timo Werner. You heard it here 43rd. “The World Cup is not about auditioning for Barcelona, Madrid, Liverpool or whoever,” stormed the striker to Socrates magazine and he is of course quite right: Liverpool hope to have the deal done before the World Cup.

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Another striker potentially on the move is Samuel Eto’o. You thought he’d already retired, didn’t you? But the 37-year-old played in Turkey last season and still looks sharp enough to have aroused the interest of Lazio. The Italian club might also be interested in Frank Lampard if the ex-midfielder were not on the brink of becoming the new manager of Derby County.