Thursday, August 27, 2009

I didn't like it then, either.

When we switched the boys to their new daycare back in March it was a huge improvement. In many, many, ways the new place was a better fit for us.

Except one way.

This daycare assigns . . .

HOMEWORK.

I remember hearing about that on the tour and the look on my face must have been akin to the expression one gets upon hearing one of those stories where people escape being trapped under a tree by cutting off a limb, because the backpedaling, it was speedy.

But they DO assign homework. Even to Owen. My 18 month old gets homework. Great. And the PACKETS that Sam brings home.

I was always opposed to this concept of homework for BABIES, but initially Chris said he "appreciated" the bonding with Sam. That lasted about two weeks. Now he employees his old superhero alter-ego, Ignoring Man. He's so good that he actually IS his own sidekick, Denial Boy.

Homework is assigned on Monday, due on Friday. And Thursday nights are not the same, people.

I think in the beginning Sam liked it, too. But the PACKETS people. THE PACKETS. They are ENDLESS. Just page after page of "circle the rhyming words," and "draw a line between things that start with the same letter" and "write the letter 'M.'" Just when he gets the hang of rhyming, all of a sudden we're matching. And as soon as he finished one page, there's another.

And you know what? There's a reason we're not teachers. It's because I get frustrated when I try to explain the concept of RHYMING. Seriously. Go ahead. You try to explain it to a 3-year-old who is looking at you like you're talking in GERMAN.

I'm not going to lie. Sometimes we just do it for them. Chris will hold the crayon in his left hand, and I'll move the paper around and together we do our best to produce convincing scribble-scrabble. As Sam calls it. I mean, I would just forget about it, but then the kids don't get their HOMEWORK STICKER. And do you know where the homework sticker goes? On the poster on the wall in the classroom. For everybody to see. That we are the kind of parents who don't care enough about school. Bad Parents. Just big ole "Bad Parent" empty spaces where stickers should be.

The worst is when we actually DO work with the kids to get the homework done, but then we forget to, you know, BRING IT TO SCHOOL. Which is totally expected from us.

I was really counting on a few more years before we had to fight with our kids about homework.