My 16 month old is beating us!

Mandy - posted on 07/25/2014
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Ever since my daughter has been mobile she has been hitting, kicking, biting us, and at meal time she throws some of her food at me while she is eating. She will get a big huge grin on her face that is followed by her hurting us. I have tried time outs (she screams no no no no, while I try to tell her we don't hit, that's not nice), taking away her toys if she hits me with it (she screams and points at the toy or what the toy is in for hours, she is stubborn),and my husband tried a small spanking (she just laughed at him and started hitting more like it was a game to her). She gets a lot of attention, we go for "walks" in the morning, I let her wander around and explore the neighborhood with me, story time, dance time, play hide and seek (we just duck around furniture), and she has a couple play dates a week. I just don't know what else I can do, it's becoming frustrating and I feel like I am failing.

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Dove - posted on 07/26/2014

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She's normal. She'll learn, but you have to TEACH her not to hit. Firmly (but gentle enough to not hurt) grab her hand and sternly tell her 'no hitting, be gentle' and then you SHOW her what gentle is by taking that hand and stroking her cheek. If she persists... you repeat. If she persists again... you get away from her and completely ignore her for a few minutes.

She will learn that hitting is not the way to go, but you have to be patient and consistent in teaching her. It takes time.

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Mandy - posted on 07/26/2014

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That would be the time outs, they don't seem to be helping or working. For time outs I put her in her chair, tell her we don't hit, walk away for a minute, go back tell her to please calm down and just not to hit us, to be nice, and use her words if she wants something. She stays there till she calms down, I get her up and give her a hug and tell her hugs are nice, and she will be okay for a bit, then she starts in again. My husband tried the spanking because several parents told us that I needed to get over my anti spanking and try it, and while I was at work, he tried it. Kinda glad that one back fired on him, but I wish the time outs did anything other than make her scream and just do it again a short while after it's over.

Well, yeah, so she hits, and you hit her back. Of course she thought it was a game. What exactly did you think that was going to teach her.

I'm just wondering what your other reactions are to her behaviour for her to find it so funny. Have your tried removing her from the situation without any eye contact, just saying no, or telling her she can't do that and then walking away and ignoring her? Or start using the word gentle with her. Or show her that it hurts by expressions in your face. All these things worked with my kids. But whatever you do, you need to be consistent.