The average Englishman in the home he calls his castle, slips
into his national costume ~ a shabby raincoat ~ patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from
Glasgow, Scotland.

En route to his office he strides along the English lane,
surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John
Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers of
Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander
Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.

At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle
invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Dumfries, Scotland.

He watches the news on T.V., an invention of John Logie Baird
of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy, founded by John Paul Jones
of Kirkbean, Scotland.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in
desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good
book is a Scot ~ King James VI ~ who authorised its translation.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the
world.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech~loading
rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating
table injected with penicillin, discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and
given an anaesthetic, discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning
that he was as safe as the Bank of England, founded by William Paterson of Dumfries,
Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion
of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask

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