Cave Creature of Greenbrier County…

If you like things that go bump in the dark, the Cave Creature installment of Mountain Monsters was a hoot! In this episode, the AIMS team went in quest of an elusive cave creature in Greenbrier County, West Virginia. –What is it about WestVirginia, anyways, that apparently generates these supposed “monsters” like fruit flies?! Anyways, the Cave Creature in question weighs in at about 600 pounds, stands six to seven feet tall, and is human-like but has long arms and big hands. Essentially hairless, the creature has great leaping and climbing abilities and lives within the twenty mile Bloodrun cave system, coming out in search of prey. Early sightings go back to the 1850’s and the Shawnee Indians.

The rough-hewn Mountain Monsters crew first interviewed cave explorer, “Ed,” who reported hearing noises and saw something within the cave that blended in to the rock surfaces. During their first night’s investigation, the team ventured into the vast cavern system, found a pile of bones within, and saw scratch marks on a rock face. As the confines of the cave made large, conventional traps impossible, trap-maker Willy and sidekick “Wild Bill” made multiple leg-hold snares. These snares, over forty in number, were positioned inside the north entrance of the cave system.

An outdoorsman and hunter, “Junior” was interviewed who reported hearing the sound of the creature, and had caught on a trail cam an image of what appeared to be the hunched back of something unknown. “Foley,” a deer hunter, was also interviewed who also had heard sounds and recorded on his cell phone a low, grumbling sound like a growl or roar. On the final night of the hunt, most of the team went into the south entrance of the caverns to flush the beastie north to where the snares awaited. For good measure, “Buck” was positioned outside of the north entrance with a rifle should the creature avoid the snares and escape there. The team had fashioned old-school torches that they carried in an attempt to scare the creature with fire, and had they carried pitchforks as well, the group would have resembled the ragtag type mob of villagers that pursued the Frankenstein monster and similar creatures in old horror movies. While the flaring torches provided great dramatic effect, they soon burned out, and the team had to switch to battery-powered lights.

Things started to get interesting when the team found a severed and largely denuded wolf head presumably left as a warning to the team, kind of a “how do you do…this could be you!” thing. The rock with Willy’s furthest snare was found broken with the attaching nail and snare itself missing; other snares had been left untouched. As the team wandered further into the dark, winding caverns, fleeting thermal images of something were seen. Investigating a crevice by crawling into it, Willy was grabbed by the foot and dragged briefly backwards! Yelling, bouncing light beams, and waving guns dominated the scene at this point. (Memorable line: “I’m as scared as a prostitute in church!”) Going further towards the north cave entrance, multiple snares in the pathways had been missed, as if the creature had seen and avoided them, or perhaps climbed along the rock faces. A hand print was seen, and there was also a brief, partial glimpse of something at a crest. At that point, the extensive cavern system diverged into multiple passageways, which made further tracking and pursuit of the Cave Creature impossible. This game went to the Cave Creature. “He can have the cave!,” concluded “Wild Bill.” All’s well that ends, I guess…

3 Comments on “Cave Creature of Greenbrier County…”

So, this wasn’t another phantom feline. More like an albinistic Bigfoot. How refreshing! Still, the only thing that would end well, for viewers of this show, is if it wound up at the Paszaz TV website…on the “Cancelled Shows” list for 2013-14!

The show has survived as a kind of “Duck Dynasty Meets MonsterQuest” hybrid largely because there aren’t fresh episodes of anything comparable on lately. Still, I think that the show should almost have run its course. Perhaps then it will be replaced by something even more horrifying.

Here are some spin-off ideas for episodes we’d like to see, cast from the mold of reality television programming: 1.). “Trapper” goes to the dentist. 2.) “Buck” goes to Weight Watchers. 3.) Fashion Make-Over: The “Mountain Monsters” Men Edition. 4.). “Wild Bill” Goes To Speech Therapy. 5.) The Women of the “Mountain Monsters” Men.