If you ask me, it's hard to imagine that certain people could actually get any more messed up in their thinking than they already are- but it happens, everyday. Like France's recent announcement that they'll be banning ketchup in their schools in order to "preserve their heritage." Okay, but as a student of history, I don't think that's a nice message to send to all the tomato paste producing countries that actually saved your a$$ during WWII, allowing you to preserve a culture that isn't, well, German. And what about the American school banning chocolate milk, claiming it's the evil cousin of Soda Pop? Was that an actually study, or did someone come up with that while drinking a Yoo Hoo? And let's not forget the Scottish for banning Father's Day cards in their schools, leaving an entire township of well deserving dads wondering why they only got the tie this year because the school board didn't want to make a handful of kids without fathers feel bad.

Who are these people, and when did we give them the right to be our moral compass? Did we not learn anything from "Footloose?"

Look, when I say I believe it takes a village to raise a child, I don't mean Shirley Jackson's village. But, if you ask me, I believe he who casts the first stone to start banning anything and everything from hugs, to dancing, to the dictionary (I kid you not) in our schools should actually get to be next in line to be stoned himself.

What, we told people they couldn't burn books anymore so jump rope became the next logical thing on their hit list? When does it stop? It's one thing to make our kids walk through a metal detector to search for guns, but now our kids are being strip searched at the door for Pogs?- and they're not even popular anymore. But what really gets me- the thing that makes me so angry that I want to take a yard stick and shove it so far up some one's arse to remove whatever obstruction (or pickle) is up there- is when people take the fun out of childhood for our kids. So when I hear Halloween costumes are being banned in our schools because it's viewed by some as a "religious holiday" (source article: The Huffington Post) I want to find Mr. Weatherbee and tell him to grow a set of (big ones) at the next P.T.A. meeting.

If Halloween's still a religious holiday then witches still exist and we should be able to bring them to trial for these kinds of sadistic acts against our children. Because if you believe Corporate America is a religion you shouldn't be heading up a child advocacy group- you should be getting your f-ing head examined (it's the Devil, duh). Cancel Halloween? It's a bunch of kids running around the halls enjoying them selves and playing make-believe for Christ's sake. It's not a Pagan ritual (anymore).

Do I have the right to be upset? You're damn right I do! Children used to have choice (or at the very least, their parents did). But somewhere, somehow, we relinquished all our rights to the so-called "experts" and the advocacy groups and the politicians and the loudest, most obnoxious people in the room because we just couldn't be bothered to look up from our computer screens, or smart phones long enough to see that we were giving these people the power to make all our choices for us.

Well here's a thought... tell these people and their asinine ideas to go (expletive deleted) themselves; to leave our kids alone, and go and take a good long look in the mirror to figure out what the hell is so wrong with them that they need to destroy all the fun of being a child (and for that matter- being a parent) for the rest of us. Let them sit at home and think about it while the rest of the world, myself included, take our kids out for the most magical night of the year- then steal half their candy.

If you want to test a microphone you blow on it. If you want to test out a guy's manhood you hoof him hard in the nuts, wait to see how long it takes him to get up, then measure the number of steps he's able to take before falling back down again. That's the test of a true man... or is it fatherhood? Let's think about that... No, it's hoofing him in the nuts.

"WHAT'S THE CAPITAL OF THAILAND ? BANGKOK!

So, there's this new article that came out the other day about testosterone and married men with kids not having any ("Testosterone Drop Helps Men Do Dad Duty: Study" - source: Yahoo Canada, September 2011). I read it and thought: "Kids? What about those guy's walking through a mall carrying their wife's purse in one hand and her teacup Chihuahua in the other? They don't have kids? What's their excuse?" So, it made me think: who comes up with these studies, and why is it everybody and their brother decided to post it on their Facebook "father" pages on the same day? I had a friend send this article to me yesterday, but before I even got a chance to read it there was this feeding frenzy on Facebook like I've never seen before. Apparently, in our new world, when a man's manhood is questioned he doesn't defend himself anymore, he simply "reposts" the article to all his female readers for comment. Ah, social networking...

But, back to the article/study in question: What made this "news?" Did it provide any new information? No. There was a study in 2002 that already covered this (http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/2002/09.19/01-testosterone.html), and it didn't attack married men with kids, per se- it attacked married men in general. In a nut shell, both studies "suggest" that there is an anthropological correlation between marriage and a drop in testosterone in men. Okay? But, it's not because our physiology changed to suit some male "nesting" gene to prepare us for having kids- it's because our marital status did!

Show me a married man, I'll show you a guy being fed foods high in estrogen (whether naturally or artificially added- it's all in the man boobs), a guy who watches more than his fair share of chic flicks, and a guy who after a mere three months will be able to tell you which of his wife's pumps go with her chartreuse dress. Now, fast forward a few years and show me a married man with kids- I'll show you a unic (with breasts). Who doesn't see the correlation in that!? Get married, your life changes, and so does the chemistry in both your body and your relationship. Get it?!? I don't think you do...

You throw a party for three hundred of your closest friends, pass out in a hotel room with the woman of your dreams, then wake up the next morning to a strange woman you don't know that suddenly demands that you change your eating, drinking, and dressing habits, your haircut, your bank account (joint of course), your living arrangements, and ultimately your entire lifestyle. Then, the next day she's asking you to buy a house for the 2 to 3 kids that you'll want to have back to back to back to get them out of the way, then there's a nanny, and programmes, and college funds... and you're probably laughing right now thinking I'm talking about my wife. I'm not- I'm talking about yours- and the scary part is you don't even know it yet. Your testosterone has been steadily declining from the day you got engaged- the day the hunter/gather in you started ordering take-out salads because your wife 'encouraged' you to do it for "health" reasons. Sad thing is nobody told YOU.

Did we really need someone to come up with a study on this? Was it absolutely necessary to upset all the father bloggers by telling them they've gone through the equivalent of male menopause (which probably started in their mid-twenties)? Was it really necessary to spend thousands of dollars on a study that wasn't, well, necessary? Here, let me save the taxpayers some money...All those guys selling off their beat up Playboy mag collections on Craig'slist aren't doing it because their Moms told them too; they're doing it because, suddenly (sadly), reading the articles became more important than looking at the pictures (sorry, it happens to the best of us).

So, yes. Married men, and especially married men with kids have a lower testosterone level than men of the same age that are single. Why? It's not because we had kids, if that's what you're thinking? If you ask me, it's because we're smart enough to give our wives what they want so they'll "release us" to have fun a couple of times a week (i.e. we get to have more sex than you because our M.I.L.F. wives are horny as hell and deplete our reserves). But, it's just a theory. What do I know- it's two in the morning?

Hmmm? My daughter's asleep... maybe my wife's awake?

Ummm...Look at the time...? Ya. Gotta go...now...

(Lower Testosterone my ass!)

Read more posts like this at : Fodder 4 Fathers http://theevilthatyouknow.blogspot.com/

Now, take a deep breath, calm your mind, and listen to the story I am about to tell. It's about a little girl, only a few months old, who has been kidnapped and taken to the parking lot of a nearby mall. The kidnappers, two women in their late twenties/early thirties, drunk on power, unable to listen to reason, drag this little girl from the backseat of a minivan in to the mall. Inside, they make her do unspeakable things - they take her to a shoe store; a cosmetics counter; they even make her watch as they try on dresses... for fun. And then, if they hadn't destroyed enough of her innocence already, they inflict their final insult; their most heinous of horrific acts; their most evil of underhanded atrocities- they get her ears pierced...

Now imagine a little girl covered in the stench of THEIR rubbing alcohol, her EARLOBES covered in her BLOOD, and her face streaming, raining droplets of her own tears. Can you see it- her quivering lip holding back the screams? Can you see it- her blood red face holding back the tears? Can you see it? Can you see her face- this little girl covered in blood, and tears, and well-meaning intentions? Can you see her? Now imagine she's YOUR daughter...

(I love that movie)!

Gentlemen, where I come from, when a man puts his foot down his wife listens- or at least humors him. It's time to Fodder Up! Today's topic: allowing your wife to pierce your Baby's sensitive little ears. You may not win this battle, but at least you can educate yourself so you know what you're getting yourself, and your baby, in to.

Pros and Cons of Infant Ear Piercing:

You know why you don't want your wife to pierce your babies earlobes, but like most guys, so far, you're losing the war. My suggestion: fight fire with fire (in other words, let a woman, or a website for women, talk her out of it).

Yes. There's no point in explaining your thoughts on the matter to your determined spouse. It will fall on deaf (pierced) ears. So, if the pros and cons don't seem to do the trick, a good debate never hurts...

Like a desperate man trying to pluck at the heartstrings of the women that he loves, when all else fails... cry like a baby. If you're lucky, your wife will be so embarrassed that she'll drag both you and your child out of the salon and you will live to fight another day.