If you love scrambling for pars and conservative golf (as opposed to all the extreme high-risk golf out there), you should love today's Masters coverage. The course continues to play very tough, with most of today's players being well over par. A few have gotten to red numbers, though, with Tiger Woods at -2 on the day (+1 overall, tied for 8th), and Stuart Appleby catching fire to be -3 through 4 holes today. He's your current leader. And yes, I have been watching golf on my computer. Leave me alone.

Count me among those who think Augusta's kind of ruined its appeal by all but eliminating the possibility of birdies and eagles. It's like watching a football game in an arctic blizzard. It's fun to see every the players sliding around, the wind killing every pass or punt attempt, and no one staying on their feet for longer than 3 or 4 seconds, but eventually, you begin to remember that you like touchdowns. Yellow Chair Sports agrees.

But there's nothing Augusta can do to ruin the harmonious intonations of Jim Nantz. CBS's coverage begins right about now, so tune in because Jim Nantz goin' do it BIG... ALL DAY... AND ALL NIGHT. You have no idea what Jim Nantz means when he says that, but he goin' do it BIG. You don't know, but my boyz know — them Augusta boyz know — they know what Jim Nantz talkin' 'bout when he say he goin' do it big.