What do you consider adultery?

My sons behavior therapist, case worker, and I were talking about marriage and relationships the other day. His behavior therapist is married. I am married. His case worker is not but is engaged. His behavior therapist stated that he believes that as long as there is no emotional connection then it is okay to have sex with someone other than your spouse. I believe that any type of physical contact as well as flirting is cheating. The bible says even adulterous thoughts is adultery.... So what do you guys define as adultery?

Example: you have an old flame contact you stating they miss you and flirting sexually over the Internet, you don't want to be rude so you politely state that you are not interested in anything sexual but would be open to a friendship. Maybe a lunch date to catch up on old times. Is this adultery?

Do you agree with the therapist? That as long as there is no emotional connection then it is not adultery?

Example: you have an old flame contact you stating they miss you and flirting sexually over the Internet, you don't want to be rude so you politely state that you are not interested in anything sexual but would be open to a friendship. Maybe a lunch date to catch up on old times. Is this adultery?

No. Having lunch with an old friend is not adultery or cheating... it's lunch. If the friend is having trouble understanding that then boundaries need to be set or all contact needs to be severed.

Do you agree with the therapist? That as long as there is no emotional connection then it is not adultery?

I personally do not believe this but you would be surprised how many people do.

I think it boils down to whether you're open with your behavior with your spouse/partner. There are open relationships where sex with another - even a relationship with another person - would not be considered cheating.

Simple flirting with no intentions of carrying it further? not cheating.

Flirting with the intention of trying to start something with someone while you're in a committed, monogamous relationship? cheating.