Career Women Deciding To Become Moms

Recently I spoke at the Monte Jade Annual Conference on the topic of women and leadership. During the panel portion, I was asked what was the most challenging professional situation I had faced. It was clear for me. My decision to leave Corporate America in the hopes of having children.

I was 34, the youngest VP at Polaroid at the time and it seemed I had “achieved”, and was assured further corporate success was ahead of me. The work was exciting. I loved my team. Yet, life was leading me towards a different path. Unknown to my work colleagues or manager, I had been attempting to get pregnant for 2 years at that point. My biological clock was “ticking”. The time had come. Yet no planning or medical intervention was working. I was traveling incessantly, as was my husband. Stress was high. Not the best “breeding” ground, huh?

It’s a unique experience for each woman who faces this point in their life. The breadth of choices and considerations. Fears and hopes. Looking back and looking forward. Consequences. Trade-offs. Our world of career (especially for us overachieving types) can suddenly collide with our hopes (and fantasy) of motherhood. The voices of our parents, our culture, our society gather around us. We become unsure what voice is ours and what voice is theirs. In all this, nonetheless, we make pivotal choices. Because when we choose to bring a little human being into our life, life changes.

Some women continue on in a similar mode and accommodate their children into their existing structure, some women adjust work to fit around their children; and, some like me, change our lives radically in the hopes of creating a completely new life.

In looking back, I now know that I had to leave my life “as it was” in order to create space for my children. My life, as it was, simply could not accommodate the kind of life I wanted for my children. Trust me, I was the most surprised of all. For most of my life, I thought I would have live-in nannies as I continued my ascent in Corporate America. Then the unexpected happened. The sudden death of my beloved father during business school changed everything. I was devastated. However his death revealed to me that the gift of parenting was not in the “things” but in the “being”. He was a father whose being was put into his children. And thus, when my turn came to be a mother, it became clear (to my subconscious) that my career trajectory and life as it had been, would not alllow me to be the parent I had come to want to be. Honestly, I had little conscious knowledge at that time. I only felt the dire frustration of not accomplishing my goal to bear a child. But within me, a new me was birthing, making a new nesting ground for my children.

While it was the most difficult professional decision in my life, it was a pivotal moment, when I listened to my deepest life voice rather than to my external, achieving self. I came to trust that life would fulfill my deepest hopes, if I simply followed its beckoning steps. After launching a new Polaroid business and with months of notice to my boss, I left Corporate America. I left a phase of my life I had worked so very hard (and loved) to create. I stepped into a whole new chapter, with no promises of children at that time. Yet as I followed the path of life, my children came. They are now 10 and 7.

This pivotal change was possible, in part, because of the immense support I had, from so many individuals, including my husband, a dear sherpa friend, my mother and also, one of my most-admired bosses who said one day when I divulged the truth of my dilemma, “you can always have a career, but you can’t always have a child”. Somehow this wisdom, from a male corporate insider made all the difference.

My career continues, in a way it could never had, had I not left. But most importantly, I have been blessed with choice as a career woman, to live my life in its fullest, in abundance. Looking back, no amount of logical analysis would have led to my decision. My decision came from listening to the wisdom of my life and trusting that, despite my intense fears, what laid ahead of me would be wonderful, creative and rewarding. Indeed, it has been nothing less than that.

These points are so deeply personal. But if you’re facing a life decision at the intersection of career and parenthood, may I invite you to include wisdom and intuition into your decision-making process. It not only has worked for me, but for many clients who have faced these moments. Trust your dreams. Follow their beckoning calls. They do come true.

Testimonials

T. Liu

This book is very helpful for every international student who wants to get a job in the US. It opens a window to me on how Americans network and what benefit they get from networking. It also taught me how to network in an authentic American way step by step.

O. Fu

Judy’s networking book helps me a lot. As an international student, I rarely know how to network with Americans, and I don’t even know how to have a good chat with American to enhance friendship.... I went to a lot of Career Fairs and information sessions but none of them worked out. When I was so depressed and have no idea what I can do next, I met Judy and her team at AsiaMBA Career Conference. She mentioned that networking is the key process for job-seekers in America and is also hard ...

Judy's ability to read the students needs and touch their hearts is unmatched. She really has her finger on the pulse of international student trends and knows how to bridge the US cultures with their own. Judy has a unique way of breaking down US communications and provides students with practical steps that is actionable. I give my unequivocal recommendation for any university to tap into Judy's breadth of experience to aid their students.

Networking Book and Videos

Number of Books Purchasing (20% discount and free networking videos with 100 or more)

Additional Questions or Comments

Contact Us -- 2017-18 Program Guide

2017-18 Program Guide Information Form

Which Programs and Services are you interested in?

International Student Workshops

Cross-Cultural Team Building

Global Leadership Preparation

Networking Book and Videos

FREE Video Library

Cultural Competency Training

Campus Diversity Inclusion

International Student Program Design

Name

University

Position

Phone

Email

Additional Questions/Comments

Workshops for International Students

International students need an explicit road map and instructions to develop communication and social skills American peers already possess. Our Success in the U.S. program is tailored to build student confidence and competency by providing targeted programs, offered at key points in the school year. Each workshop corresponds to a Student Readiness Phase, as illustrated in our guide. For descriptions of the workshops, click here.

Understanding cultural preferences and differences is essential to effective advising and teaching. Advisors and faculty have given us high praise for helping them bridge the cultural gap and develop strategies for greater impact.

Students thrive when they feel a sense belonging and genuine welcome by American students, faculty, staff and administrators. Building a globally-inclusive community requires a strategic approach, embedded in curriculum and co-curricular activities.

Students and universities have said how helpful they’ve found this book! This year we’ve already had universities bulk order copies for their students. When you do so, you’ll receive a 20% discount off 100 or more books as well as access to our networking and storyselling videos!

In the U.S., 70% of jobs come from networking! Networking is a critical skill to develop if students are serious about landing a job in the U.S. The cultural aspects of networking present a unique challenge for International students, particularly those whose cultures frown upon self-promotion. Therefore, students need to possess a firm grasp of the “what” and “why” of networking before they can perfect the “how.”

These 13 short Networking videos will help students understand and develop the necessary skills for networking.

Below you will see the topics and titles of our Free Video Tutorial Library. We encourage you to use these videos as teaching/coaching tools when working with your students. Please share these with your students for them to view as well.