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Labels labels and more labels... who cares what's a quad and what's not a quad? If there's four people and there's lovin' and there's a major social bond between all four, I'd say that's a quad. Of course my ideal quad would be me, Keira Knightley, Angelina Jolie and Isla Fisher.

Last edited by classycaveman; 04-07-2010 at 05:03 AM.
Reason: Did I say Amy Smart? I meant Isla Fisher. Yumm.

I would think that a "basic quad" would be one where four people are involved in a relationship with one another in some form. However, we all know that poly doesn't follow rules, and I've heard of all different kinds of quads.

In my quad the men are intimately involved with both women but not each other. The women are intimately involved with both men and each other. I don't identify as bisexual but consider Asha my girlfriend and am physically attracted to her, so go figure.

Labels can be useful as quick references, but I hesitate to use them as anything more than that.

The risk is that people get wrapped up in trying to force their relationships to fit into labels they've already chosen, rather than letting relationships develop in their own right.

For example, Hetero Couple A meets Hetero Couple B. There's the right chemistry, and they start dating. They call themselves a quad. Eventually, the romance between Woman A and Man B dies out, but their partners are still wildly in love. Now, did the quad define the relationship, or did the relationship at the time define the quad? Do Man A and Woman B have to break-up because the quad didn't work out? Or do they accept that the relationship dynamic has changed, and drop the label?

__________________“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.”—bisexualbaker