Mindless alliterations, unnecessary and stupid rhyming words, cars flying here and there and puke-evoking fight sequences are some of the vast list of givens in a Suraaj movie. Despite knowing all this, the only reason for which people still prefer to watch his movie is that a small portion in everyone’s heart still hopes that there might be at least some comedy sequences like Thalainagaram or Maruthamalai. He did give us a fair warning through Padikkathavan and Mappillai but we didn’t listen to him. The movie which started with a half filled theater ended with just me and a few more theater workers.

Very few people can make us predict the verdict of the movie just from the opening frame and Suraaj is one those very few people who possess this unique talent. The usual senseless fight sequence in the beginning, the reason for which is revealed some time in the middle of the movie, ends with Santhanam’s introduction. I could sense the sigh of relief in everyone’s face during his entry which disappears as soon as he utters the first rhyming sentence. Another unique talent that a very few directors have here is making even Santhanam unbearable. We saw that before in Saguni and now in Alex Pandian.

The next hour or so is whiled away with Karthi playing kindergarten games with Santhanam’s sisters and Santhanam trying to save them from Karthi, filled with intolerable innuendos and double entendre. The rest of the movie is whiled away with Anushka trying to escape from Karthi and him catching hold of her every time with magically appearing boats, cars etc. Making a 3-hour long feature film out of a story that is not even worth listening to sure is not an ordinary task.

People laughing for action sequences have become a common thing nowadays but a six year old boy, who doesn’t even understand most of the movie, laughing for action and sentiment scenes can only be seen in a few movies. Just to insert a fight sequence after a couple of scenes with Santhanam, a claimed-to-be rowdy is made to promise in front of a temple that he will clean shave the heads of the first three people who ring the temple bell (?). Unfortunately our hero, who was just performing a good man deed by helping a small girl to ring the bell, happens to be one among them and unfortunately our rowdy becomes one of the uncountable villains in the movie (later the rowdy’s boss and Karthi are shown to be friends and though being a well-off villain, Karthi never asks his help throughout the movie). If I start listing the logical glitches in a movie like this, one post won’t be enough.

Just when everyone thinks that one can’t bear any more of this stupidity on screen, we see Manobala’s introduction. And he does his part of making everyone realise how effectively the ticket cost can be spent. The movie was so bad that people didn’t clap even for the Rajini’s Alex Pandian dialogue that karthi speaks somewhere in the second half. I could notice at least a couple of people sigh-ing for each and every scene throughout the movie. Another feather in Suraaj’s cap. Being a DSP musical, you can imagine how the songs and BGM would have been. For a movie of this kind, it just disgusts us more than it intends to.

Filled with predictable twists, innumerable villains appearing from no where all over the movie, a heroine suffering from Stockholm syndrome and the once great Visu playing the usual CM-who-lost-his-daughter-unwilling-to-seek-help-from-the-police, Alex Pandian is something that you won’t mind missing.