< dipshit 1980s prog-rock reference > Whether or not your uncle has country place that no one knows about, or if a gleaming alloy air car is shooting towards you two lanes' wide, what you need is a brilliant Red Barchetta from a better, vanished time < /dipshit 1980s prog-rock reference >. No, what you really need is a Bertone Barchetta, which may be awkwardly over-stylized, but still sets the pick for a small Fiat roadster that employs wide swaths of stainless steel in its body construction. The Barchetta's underpinnings are all Fiat Panda, a tiny, front-drive Italian runabout that tops out at 100 mph. The whole car is a take on the diminutive Fiat Barchetta of the late '40s, a tiny roadster made for bombing around vineyards while buzzed on a nice Amarone. This future-shock version, however, makes us want to drink chilled vodka from the rain gutters of the Centre Pompidou. Two stars. – Mike Spinelli