Archive for June, 2011

Sorry, this one feels a bit lazy, mostly because I’m feeling cruddy and I don’t want to kill myself over the comic. I have something, who knows what, a summer cold I guess. Summer colds are the worst, as Nathan Explosion taught us. I have discovered this afternoon that I only feel good when I’m eating hot and spicy soup – as in, for the actual duration of the time I am eating the soup. But I can’t be CONSTANTLY eating soup!

“Can’t you?” Niles asks me.

Well I suppose there’s only one way to find out, and it does kind of feel like my obligation to Science to find out if I’m capable of eating soup in a constant loop – a soup loop, if you will – but I’m just not sure I’m feeling a great responsibility to Science today. And I can already tell if I’m typing things like “soup loop” that I’m just too fuzzy to be writing much of anything to you tonight. So now that I’ve tried to burn this cold out with tom yum and red curry, and tried to drown it in green tea and emergen-c, and smother it with kitties, now I’m going to try sleeping it off.

This isn’t even half of the haul, you guys. I got eggs, I got tons of meat, I was walking home with two giant armfuls of tasty awesomeness. I know I’m biased, but I think we have one of the best farmers markets in the whole city.

I’m not 100% sure I’m remembering all of these right, but I think the lettuces, eggs and purple scallions came from Tempel Farms, the strawberries were from Noffke Family Farms, the cream was from Kilgus Farmstead, the mushrooms were from River Valley, and the giant beefcake tomatoes were from Iron Creek.

I was telling Niles this story, and he said, “well, then you were right to not get rid of the hoodie.” But… no, I mean, yes, of course it’s nice that I kept it and now it suddenly fits, but NO, I still stand by my assertion that it’s a bad idea to keep clothes around if they don’t fit you. Every spring for five years, every time I tried it on, this hoodie made me feel like crap. And contrary to what most of us seem to think, keeping it around never once served as motivation to lose weight or eat better or exercise more. It’s a happy coincidence that I get to wear this hoodie now, but I honestly should have gotten rid of it a long time ago.

Still, it makes me feel pretty nice. Maybe it’s trying to make up for the five years that it made me feel crappy.

I was talking to two of my very bestest awesomest friends tonight, and recalling a time – many years ago – when on a whim, I cut my hair pixie short, and had it dyed platinum blonde. I wasn’t a size four or anything, and I certainly didn’t have fine or delicate features, but I got so many compliments all the time. Everyone loved it. It was dramatic and striking. There’s such an interesting freedom in making a big change like that. I used to change up my hair a lot more often, but I’ve gotten very happy with the long red hair lately, so I think it’ll continue to be this for a while – but there’s a part of me that’s seriously thinking about chopping it off and going platinum blonde again.

When I was in college, I really wanted to shave my head, just once. Just to see what it was like. I never had the courage, mostly because I kept thinking I had to lose weight in order to do it. I have always thought that my forehead was too high, or my neck too short, or my head too bumpy, or my features too rough, or my eyebrows / complexion / nose / etc too “whatever”. And I was nervous at first, asking Ruth to give me these bangs, but they looked so cute on HER that I couldn’t resist. And you know what? I LOVE THEM. I love them more than I’ve ever loved my bangs. I think they look amazing. They make me feel amazing. So who cares if I don’t have Audrey Hepburn’s alabaster skin or aquiline slender nose or swan neck. That’s no reason to deny myself kickass bangs, you guys. Almost no one looks like Audrey Hepburn. The rest of us are allowed to do awesome things to our hairstyles too.

Okay, sorry for the delay everyone! I’m back and there will be comics again.

Did you know I used to live in St. Louis? It’s true. My family moved there when I was in junior high, and I went to high school there. I went away for college, and when I graduated I moved back, and lived in St. Louis for five years or so before I moved to Chicago. I can’t remember the last time I went back to visit, but it must have been about five years ago. Anyway, we finally returned for a wedding this past weekend, and it was great to see what’s changed and what’s still there. We had a great time, but between normal wedding celebrations and trying to make up for so much lost time with old friends, I think I drank a year’s worth of beer. And what do you know, I feel pretty crappy. Surprise! Garbage in, garbage out.

When I find a salad I like, I have a tendency to make it quite a few times, especially for office lunches. Winter, it was roasted squash and garlic with crumbled blue cheese. Autumn, it was grilled chicken with berries, walnuts and goat cheese, and champagne vinaigrette. Summer, it’s looking like it’s this. I’ve tried a few variations on this one, with and without avocado, sometimes with a little goat cheese, once with some tangerine wedges. It’d probably be great with mango, too!

So, I’m not going to say where this was, because my suspicion is that I just happened upon a particularly bitchy employee and that it’s not company policy to be a pretentious frickin’ jackass to customers. But the underlying problem remains – why is it so hard to find workout clothes in larger sizes? Am I meant to go jogging and to yoga class in a burlap sack, the better to advertise my fat-shame to the world around me?

I ended up buying the pants in question, like an idiot. I should have walked right out of there, and maybe even complained to someone on the way. But this was two years ago, and I didn’t have the confidence at the time to do that. I thought I deserved the shame, I thought I deserved to have ill-fitting yoga pants. Maybe it would convince me to finally lose some weight, having to work out in these ridiculously tight pants that I was shamed into buying. Of course now I have one or two pairs of decent yoga pants that fit comfortably – which I ended up getting at Target or something. But now that summer’s coming, I need to find some warm-weather jogging pants or shorts or something, something that I feel comfortable and loose in, and I’m absolutely dreading shopping for them, because all I can think of is this, this horrible lady. If I try to find new jogging shorts, will I be met with the same judgmental derision that I got then? Or even worse?

We’re so eager to judge one another. But you can’t pompously declare that people need to lose weight if you’re simultaneously going to actively deter them from exercising. And I don’t know how many times we need to say this to make it sink in – SHAME DOESN’T WORK. At least not for me. Fat-shaming just makes me want to throw up my hands, give up, and eat a gallon of ice cream. You’re not helping anyone by sneering at them and telling them “this is why you’re fat.”

Anyway. End rant. I know there are plenty of places online to find plus size athletic clothes, and if anyone has any personal recommendations, I’ll take them. Ideally I’d love some kind of bike shorts with a skirt over them to cover my belly. Obviously I’d much rather find something that I could try on before I buy it, but if buying online is the only option, I’ll take what I can get.

…but it is a great homemade summer treat, and the texture’s just like soft-serve! I found this recipe last summer on the Kitchn, where they have better instructions than I’m giving you here. If you like bananas, this is the treat for you. You need the prep time for freezing the banana, but once that’s done it’s a really quick and easy snack. It’s really fun to watch it magically go from crumbly frozen bananas to a smooth and creamy texture. Plus, it’s just a banana, so if you don’t add anything, it’s dairy free and gluten free, if those are things that concern you. Personally, I like it with a spoon of peanut butter and some shaved chocolate, but it’d probably be good with some pecans and caramel too, am I right?

Ok, I know, I know that I ate more than this this weekend. But I keep making the mistake of waiting until Sunday evening to draw anything for the weekend, so I can’t for the life of me tell you what I actually ate beyond these broad strokes. Here’s what I do know: 1) you can effectively grind meat in our crappy little 2-cup $14 food processor! 2) (related) this recipe for bulgogi-flavored hamburgers is EXCELLENT, 3) (also related) even with goat meat.

Also I’m starting to make a habit of going to the bodega across the street, purchasing a single avocado, bringing it home, chopping it and making guacamole, and eating said guacamole, all in the span of about an hour.