While we're all hoping our fellow Boarders don't get trampled in the rush for Black Friday shopping, why don't we take our minds off the madness by provoking it in our lovely agents? Plus, it's a good test for our mettle, to see if we can pay attention to two threads at once. I think we can do it, my dear friends. Please, prove me and my opinions of us right.

THE MANIPULATION PROCLAMATION: 1

Wait, what? Where did that come from? Is Das Sporking suddenly tracking me? ... Oh, whatever. Anyways, with permission from our Most Glorious Mailman (A.K.A. SeaTurtle) and Most Amazing DM (A.K.A. Storme Hawk), I'll kick this thing off. Now, for a bit of a refresher on the rules, or the rules for the first time for anybody, read the following:

This is an AU game in which we get to have a Q&A session with some of our favourite PPC agents. As such, it is strictly non-canon for all participants due to the fact that, well, World One authors are having their questions answered by the agents themselves.

The format will be as follows:

Other Board / T-Board setup post

>BoarderName1's Agents' Mailbox

>>Question(s) for BN1's Agent1

>>>Answer(s) to the above

>>Question(s) for BN1's Agent2 and Agent3

>>>Answer(s) to the above

>>Another question for BN1's Agent1

>>>Answer to the above

>BoarderName2's Agents' Mailbox

>>Question(s) for BN2's Agent 2

Ah, yes. Thank you again, SeaTurtle, for providing me with the link I have just used to crib from you.

Larkus: My rank was a big one for me. My author had a reallly hard time deciding between Detective and Officer. It's a pretty big difference in responsibility and it took him months to stop switching back and forth.

I also had a few changes to how well I knew the Jedi, which was pretty important since it played into how I found the PPC. Plus some reworking of what my job was like during the Clone Wars, which was also pretty important given that it was my entire career.

Other than than that, though, it was pretty smooth flying. Except for the fact that he still hasn't decided which canon I'm from, but that'll be settled someday soon. I hope...

Curff: As for myself, I am a much older character concept so I had far fewer changes. Merely a few tweaks to my magical abilities to keep me relatively in line with the rest of the DMS (under normal circumstances a sorcerer from my universe would be more fit for ESAS), some minor shifts in personality (I am somewhat less brusque and sarcastic than I once was), and one or two edits to my backstory.

Beyond that, I remain much the same as I was when I was first selected as a potential agent for my author. Likely because we are not so much under development as we are on hold.

Larkus: Yep. We're pretty close to finished, but our author wants to get in some more first hand canon knowledge about the CSF before finishing up my backstory.

Curff: And he is still not entirely satified with my powers. Which is of course ridiculous, my powers are fine as they are.

Larkus: So then, hope that answers your question.

Curff: and if you are willing, perhaps your own agents would be interested in answering it?

((OOC: Sorry this took me so long. I am a master procrastinator and the last week has been special proof of that.))

Currently accepting questions for Agents Chris, Ami Seeker, Miguel Correa, and Violet Rose Greenfield. And Miki the anthro Pomeranian (rescued in "For the Sake of All Living Things"), because I don't know what to do with him yet and he needs more screentime.

I wanted to go into Intelligence when I first arrived, but someone said since I showed up with no backstory and only an outline of a personality, I might accidentally go native if I investigated a pony fic or something. I dunno, maybe he just didn't like ponies very much.

As far as I can tell, they put me in Floaters because Chris had recently shown up as confused as I was and he needed somepony to balance out his serious nature. There's probably another reason, I just can't imagine what that reason might be. I hope that answered your question. n_n

I have little opinion on them besides that; I do not know these continua. I doubt I shall need to mission them.

-Lady Alleb of The Realm, Swordmaiden of Alleble, Protector of the Plot Continuum

((So, why is Alleb so unbothered? She isn't a Christian! Her world's theology and ancient texts, while obviously meant to be analogues of Christian ideology, are entirely different. Her King Eliam, for example, exists in only one person, while God exists in three. Thus, she has about as much of a link to those fics as I would to a fic that grossly misrepresents Hinduism.

In truth, not seeing a person's true colors--if you will pardon the expression--in their eyes has taken more getting used to. It is rather hard to no longer know the allegiances of those around me, as I did in The Realm.

I will admit that the first time I saw an agent with eyes of red, I very nearly challenged him to a duel. Poor man; he is actually quite kind.

-Lady Alleb of The Realm, Swordmaiden of Alleble, Protector of the Plot Continuum

I would find combat rather difficult; Sir Jesse knows can play these "gee-tars," but I only know how to use the flute. This world looks far too dark for me; it reminds me of Paragory, which is not a compliment. I suppose, if I were well and truly stuck, I would join these rebels against the demons that this odd Intelligence Report speaks of.

Now that I look more closely, this world is, perhaps, not so dissimilar from mine. There is eternal struggle against darkness; that, I can support.

-Lady Alleb of The Realm, Swordmaiden of Alleble, Protector of the Plot Continuum

For Laura: What is it about the Mass Effect series that made you fall in love with it? I hear about it every now and then and it seems like it'd be fun (assuming my seven-year-old laptop could handle it), and IIRC you said if it were a person you'd want to bear its kids at one point...

For Danny: Do you ever miss being a field agent? Have you stayed in touch with Laura or Xericka (sp?) since your transfer?

First off, thanks for bringing up the whole 'bearing its kids' thing. James will never let me hear the end of that one now. But anyway, Mass Effect. Mass Effect is awesome for many reasons: the combat, the setting, the mere existence of Garrus Vakarian. I wasn't huge on RPGs beforehand, but this convinced me something hard. If your stuff can run the games, then pick them up. The first one can be a little rough play-wise, and the third game is always going to be mocked for that original ending, but I would still recommend it regardless.

Danny Richardson

There are times I do miss it, I will admit. But those times are fairly rare nowadays. I'm happy where I am: teaching future agents, both what to do and what not to do. I feel it's more my strength than running around strange worlds trying to kill powerful abominations.

I do still exchange messages with Xericka. As for Laura… we don't speak anymore. I'm not really comfortable going over why.

((OOC: Sorry this took so long! I forgot about the post for a few days.))

Before I properly answer your question, I must announce that my reply will contain spoilers for both Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance and the Kingdom Hearts series as a whole. Gremlin informed me that this was proper etiquette for discussing sensitive manners of canon. I questioned whether this warranted a spoiler warning as Dream Drop Distance was released in 2012, but ultimately went along with her suggestion.

Now, for your question.

According to Dream Drop Distance, Nobodies have always had the ability to develop their own hearts over time. That fact, however, was hidden by Xehanort so that the original members of Organization XIII would feel unbound by morality. This in turn would better enable Xehanort to take over their bodies with copies of his own heart. While this development would seem—

Gremlin has just told me I am getting too far away from the question. My apologies.

Ever since I was made aware of this canonical development, I have come to realize that I have indeed developed a heart—or at very least, a very good semblance of one. My connections with Aiden, Gremlin, and other close friends have aided in this process. The main reason I cannot say for certain is that my origin as a badfic character may muddy the scientific waters, as it were.

I also cannot say for certain, in part, because a certain someone has not written that particular story yet.

((I'm working on it, all right? There's still more character building stuff I'm working on. And get away from the fourth wall!))

You can now ask any questions to RC 88888888's [Agent name here], which, yes, is her actual name. I assume you're gonna have a lot of questions about how she's going to run the PPC after taking it over in my last mission!

Nume: Knowing I will probably regret saying this out loud... just a simple, straightforward crossover. No Sues, no squick, no teaming up with anybody else for any reason. I mean, I work in the Department of Implausible Crossovers. Is it too much to ask to just get a frelling crossover for once?

Ilraen: I concur. I would add, however—knowing that I, too, will probably regret saying this out loud—that I would very much like to visit my homeworld someday. On the other hand, I am happy if no one is writing bad crossovers about it. ∗knocks on wood∗

Derik: Anything that isn't hand-chosen to drive me insane. I mean it. I don't know how or why, but I know a pattern when I see one, and this is happening on purpose, with malice aforethought. ∗scowl∗

Gall: One word: superheroes. We had our heroes of legend, too, but man, you people do it with style!

On Dragons

Derik: ∗stares∗ ... That's like asking what is my favorite aspect of mountains, or thunderstorms. They just... are. Reducing them to a single dry fact would take away the grandeur, the majesty of the whole. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Gall: Oh man. Okay, for starters? Fire-breathing! I mean, come on, duh. Then there's the wicked sharp teeth and claws, and the flying at high speeds. Not that they all fly or breathe fire, but the ones that don't have other cool abilities, like—

Neshomeh: Hi. Um, sorry for butting in, but she's gonna go on like this at some length, and I don't really feel like typing it all out. Sorry. If you're curious, here's the HtTYD wiki!

P.S. Apparently asterisks render the text between in italics here, so I used HTML for these low asterisks. I figured if I had to encode them anyway, might as well do something a little different. The code is &lowast;.

Would you be interested some day in meeting with me and my partner? We have read a little of your home world, and believe there are some similarities to be found between us--in particular, a love of music. We would be most pleased to have the chance to trade songs and musical techniques with you.

That's a difficult question. I can't think of any instrument I've heard or played that I dislike. In the right set of hands, true music can be wrung from just about anything.

For sheer versatility, though, I think I have to give it to the guitar. Passion, melancholy, rage, joy—it's all there in the strings if you know how to draw it out. Particularly if you consider the guitar's fantastic electric cousin. Now, that's something I'd like to get my hands on someday.

However, the instrument I'd most like to learn is the piano. They no longer existed on Pern in my time. What an expressive sound, though! I don't think you Terrans properly appreciate what you've got, judging by how often you squander it on repetitive, percussive chords in your modern music.

If I could be another kind of pony? Fascinating. I would have to say an earth pony. The raw, robust strength they possess would be of great use, especially in my current line of work. Also, if I am wholly honest, the concept of earth pony magic fascinates me. I never was a student of the arcane, yet I always found the topic of earth pony magic severely undervalued as an academic study. Their connection to the earth is known, but not understood. What is an earth ponies limits? What range of magic can manifest itself in the humble earth pony? All burning questions in my head that we have no answer to.

So, in conclusion, if I were to be another breed of pony, I would be an earth pony. Humble, and yet, an enigma.

Do you happen to know how HQ reacts to extradimensional spaces? My partner seems to think I'm going to blow up the RC with my experiments, so I'm considering moving my lab to a small pocket dimension. It's no bigger than the RC, really, but I would like to know beforehand if it's going to cause a dimensional rift or simply explode in my face.

Marina, this isn't exactly polite, you know? Shut it, I'm not letting this opportunity go, especially if it ends up on his lap.

Anyways, if you need anything about magic done, be sure to adress to me rather than this one. RC is 2882437, and I'm sure my prices will always be better than his, without talking about the quality of the work.

Can I pay you guys in energy at all? 'Cause that'd be easier, and I've got plenty of Galinergy to spare. I can do basic stuff, like pure metals, pretty easily, too, but more complicated stuff might take time. Also, either of you guys any good at snatching special stuff from weird places?

I'd prefer payment with some pure metals, gems or minerals, I'm working on a new earth focus, and prime materials like this would be useful, without speaking about potions, other items... Besides, providing energy just like this isn't practical.

Now, my, rather limited I admit, experience was mostly about keeping the special stuff in weird places, but I guess i could work about that.

But of course, I cannot do anything without more specific informations. Informations I'd like to hear about before promising anything on that front.

How would you say your relationship has changed over the years you've spent working together? Has it improved? Worsened? Remained more or less constant? Also, if given the chance to change the Flowers' decision, would you choose not to have ever been partnered?

Reader: "Er, no. I'd be a terrible choice. You should try Emiranlanoamar; he's a good teacher, and he knows what he's talking about far better than I do."

Dawn: "Oh, that's easy. The best use of fire is in a flamethrower; the function of a rubber duck is to tell lies, float in bathtubs, and confuse wizards; and my best moment as an agent...hm. Hmm. I've actually had a lot of those, now that I'm thinking about it...uh, this one time I made three Sues disappear in a giant Puff of Logic, and that felt pretty awesome because I hadn't been an Assassin for too long by that point. And...seeing Lothlorien. That was a spectacular moment. Still is, actually--that place never gets less beautiful, except when it's been Sued...yeah, come to think of it, another of my favorite moments as an agent was the first time I killed a Sue in Lorien and got to watch the place blaze back into its proper glory all around me..." trails off, looking dreamy

Jacques: "Oh, believe me, Lux and I have known each other for a while. I'd repeat some of the stuff we've done, but I've got it on good authority that most of HQ doesn't want to know...anyway. We're friends, have been for quite a while now--and, believe me, we have fun." winks

What exactly does the Continuity Council of Gallifrey-in-Exile do? I ask only because I recently read through a bunch of your old meeting logs, and all you guys seem to do is argue with each other and occasionally mope about something. So yeah: is there something else that you all actually do that I'm missing, or is this like some sort of after-school hobby club?

Gremlin

P.S.: Probably curious how I got access to your meeting logs. Don't worry about it. I left everything just the way it was. A word of advice, though: consider investing in some tougher firewalls.

Anyway. I believe we have an official description of everyone's roles floating around somewhere? Rest assured that we do actually do our jobs; I'm guessing those are the meeting logs that the Notary's taken charge of, while you've found your way into the ones that the rest of us keep around to roll our eyes at or use as proof that the others are idiots who can't stay focused.

(But yes, to be honest, it is sometimes a little bit more of a "hobby club". There aren't always important matters to be dealt with, so we do get a number of meetings where the main issues raised are about paperwork (the Notary) or restocking the bar (usually Morgan, though this one time it was Fish). The Notary, of course, will tell you that the paperwork is equally as important as the other stuff, but seriously, if she does come talk to you, I recommend making your excuses before she gives you the four hour speech on the beauty and function of the bureaucratic system. I wanted to be a politician when I was younger, but I think even my first self would've had trouble listening to that.)

Er...I mean, I love Emiranlanoamar like a brother, the Librarian's been a close friend since about a year before I even met Emiranlanoamar (er, you might know him better as the Guardsman)...er, Fish--the Fisherman--is fun, the Notary can be strangely compelling when she isn't trying her best to bore us all all to death, Morgan is...Morgan...er. We get along well enough.

I don't know this Detective too well yet, though I've so far got the impression he'd prefer not to have much to do with me. The Agent and the Disentangler are nice people; pretty interesting, very old, and nice enough to hang out with; I should probably do that more. Er...

Well. The Aviator is...complicated. We're still rebuilding, somewhat, and I don't know if we'll ever be as close as we were--probably not in our current regenerations, anyway, we're too shaped by our losses and sins right now--but we're on good enough terms even if it does sometimes turn awkward. And that's all you need to know on that front. Actually, it's more than you need to know.

If I've missed anyone who's currently an active agent of some sort--sorry. Let me know, and I'll, er, give my opinion of you.

--

As for your second question...well, what springs to mind--apart from my home city not existing in non-Expanded Universe canon--is that both birth and Looming were available on my Gallifrey. I was born; my favourite professor and many of my classmates at the Academy were Loomed. It made for some odd-looking classes at first, but it was hardly a difficult adjustment, and it really was very good for providing options--though there were certainly arguments about which was the better way of reproducing. Don't ask for my opinion; I never had a strong one, and I currently have no plans to have a baby.

This is the Headquarters of the PPC; there is no reasonable cause for Klingons and Vulcans to uphold the war between the United Federation of Planets and the Klingon Empire. Kozar in particular is of this opinion. Moreover, in this specific case-- turns to Kozar Would you care to answer this part?

Kozar: arms crossed We have been friends for several years now; this isn't news. And we're currently not pursuing any sort of romance, though if you believe we are, then you probably also believe Vulcans are incapable of it.

T'Zar: nods gravely Logical.

Kozar: Not to mention that Vulcan romance and Klingon romance don't mesh. Ours is much more frequent--and violent.

T'Zar: raises eyebrow Violence and passion are not limited to Klingons and Romulans, Kozar. While Vulcans relinquish control much less frequently than--

Kozar: It's still recording, T'Zar.

T'Zar: This is common enough knowledge here, Kozar, though I...thank you. While Vulcans relinquish control much less frequently, and primarily when forced to, I believe I can safely argue that we are no strangers to the concept of a more violent--

Sorry it hasn't been sooner, but you know how it is--mission after mission after mission. Well, and Rudi's, but that's another story, and mostly for recovering in between missions. We'll work something out soon--just stay in touch about your free time!

-J.B.

PS: side-eyes Chris Hi there. Are you flirting, or is it just looking that way because of the medium? ;)

((Good G-d, he's got the same initials as John Barrowman and Justin Bieber. This would happen. I mean, I must have known this already, but I seem to have forgotten at some point... ~DF))

Well, I like to make this neat Pecha and Oran combination! It's really sweet and the berries just kind of melt in your mouth. Combine it with a light, flaky crust, and a little bit of Qualot berry to add some zing... mmmm.

The Notary: No, and I refuse to comment entirely on any spurious claims that I indulge in substances that are in any way illicit, mind-altering or otherwise.

===

Doktor Trollenfisch: I am usually to be found playink Zer Ride of zer Valkyries or Beethoven's Fifth. However, I am likink very much zer recommendations! Zo I vould never play somezink deliberately to annoy or irritate somevun else. It ist not beink my bag, ja?

There was this Stu in RWBY, where we used this as a distraction to get him alone for the kill, but never directly. I didn't have the opportunity to do that yet, but I'll be more than happy to do just that if I can. It's always good to manage to gain something from that damn side-effect.

'You'd be surprised, boss,' Yocherry replied, flicking a series of switches across the side of the weapon. He held some kind of slide-mechanism along its barrel, and pulled it. It ran down with harsh clacking noises, and the gun purred to life with an electric hum.

'Don't got the grenades this time. Sorry, boss.'

'Grenades?' Maz said, feeling slightly left out of the loop.

Yocherry shook his head mournfully.

'None.'

He punched a button on his console. His grip on the gun tightened.

'Let's see what we got, boss.'

Maz and Yocherry are (arguably) up for questions!
Let's hope we don't break them. That includes the console, by the way.

Is it true that you murdered Building Maintenance employees Bingle and Filch, then took their places and transferred to WhatThe in what begins a mad takeover of the entire PPC by you and your cronies and will eventually lead to the Multiverse being overrun by Sues?

Hello! I've heard everyone's taking questions, so I thought I'd do my best to answer a few of them. Dee refuses to touch the thing, so I thought I'd answer any questions you guys might have. And yes, Dee, I know you're reading over my shoulder. Well, you don't have to participate, if that's how you feel about it. Dee, just shut up and let me type. Thank you.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd put the protein packs we had at about three. Everything in there was artificial, and you could taste the degradable tin. The bread squares weren't too bad, though. They were a right sight better than the rocks they serve in the cafeteria here, anyway.

And I could make an excellent stew from the firliggs on Tamara, before the absence of a sun killed what little was living there in the first place. Kept the meat cold, though.

Which do you think is better, chocolate chip pancakes or chocolate chip waffles? I don't have an opinion, personally, but Miguel says he and his friend Brenda used to argue about this. I figured I might as well ask here as anywhere. n_n

I'm not gonna say no to either, depending on where they're from. I wasn't exactly raised a picky eater.
But, given the choice, I'd say I'm more of a waffles man. They're a bit heartier, and easier to pick apart. Easier to eat on the go, and you can top 'em with just about anything.

Alright, fine. I don't see what they're so bothered about me for, anyway. This is ridiculous. I mean, did you have to pretend it was a mailbox? It's. . . demeaning.

Yes, I'm answering! As an idiot once said, "stop reading over my shoulder." Look, I don't give two hoots about the other Time Lords in the PPC. There's some comaradarie amongst the Time War vets, sure, and the shared Time Lord history, maybe an understanding of what we've fought for, and what we've lost. But, frankly I don't care what species you are. A moron is a moron, no matter how many hearts they have. That brings up whole other questions about extra oxygen available to the brain thanks to the added blood flow from a second heart, but that's. . . for another time.

Right now, suffice it to say, I don't care.

Until they give me a reason they should, they're like any other agent to me.

You go first, Yinz'r. I'll be over here while you do your complaining.

Sigh What does my partner do to get under my scales, specifically? I suppose it's the way he thinks he can tell me exactly what to do and how to do it, when he's never been the one to kill a Sue. He can't even use a dagger properly.

I heard that!

Fine, your turn, Jacob.

(Sound of the microphone being dropped)

Dang it, that's probably expensive, Yinz'r! Right. What irritates me the most about Yinz'r? He's careless. He has no respect for the rules, and won't listen to me when I call him out on it. Plus, the glowing eyes make sleep even harder to get than normal.

Because of how vampirism works in Skyrim, I get more powerful the less I feed, so I tend not to do so very often. When I do, I tend to feed on Generic Characters. Feeding on people who are awake (and powerful enough) is outright impossible, so it's the only option. Oh, and vampirism isn't passed on by feeding in any case, so it's perfectly harmless to the characters.

They are impressively resilient birds. As soon as a large group of humans gathers in one place, a flock of pigeons comes in to take what little leftover food they can find, and they do a wonderful job of it.

Pigeons are also wonderful audiences for early drafts of talks. After all, they do not ask any difficult questions or object to glaring errors in the presentation.

"As a general rule, in badfics, it usually takes a paragraph for our skills to charge a single point, but given the difference in our skill's cool down times the time it takes is usually."

"My own skill, Double Attack Stance-Wt, is maxed, meaning that it takes about 8 paragraphs to become active," Ajax said. "I have two Skill Boost awakenings (Think of them as passive abilities), so it cuts 2 turns off the charge timer at the start of missions."

"The Sacred Blue Chains, which is mine, is Level 3, so it takes 11 paragraphs for it to charge," Levy added. "I have a single Skill Boost awakening, so I start missions with 10 turns left on the timer."

If we did an HQ-wide Pokemon tournament, would you enter as yourself or let one of your partners control you? Would you enter the tournament at all? I'd enter the hypothetical tournament if I had more Pokemon who I thought could handle it than Meganium.

Perhaps my daughter would be up for such things— she's always so eager to help the Paladins take down the Sues, Arceus bless her heart.

My mane is greying and I need glasses to see anything these days. See, if this were 2020 or even 2016 I'd be ready to fight as a solo challenger in order to build up some experience and evolve. But these days? As an old Zoroark... I don't need more violence in my life anymore. I'm quite happy with organizing my archive and writing my book.

In the purely theoretical scenario that I am noticed and that someone finds me attractive and that I somehow manage to find the courage to talk to her and she is still interested in knowing more about me after I open my mouth and that I don't chicken out...

I'd like to have a nice, quiet dinner with my theoretical date. No restaurants— I don't have the money for that. Instead, I'd cook something for her and we'd share supper. Something home-made and personal. It's nicer that way, isn't it? Something that I would make with my hands and offer to someone. Afterwards, if she'd be up for it, I'd like to take her for a walk in the evening. I know a wonderful part of my home city that is by the water and it's so very nice at sunset. We'd walk until the sun goes down and then some and then I'd drive her back to wherever she lives and end the evening like that. Maybe she'd like to watch a movie— I'd be okay with that. I would like to imagine myself open to suggestions on what she wants to do too— after all, a relationship is a two-way street, right?

It's stupid, it's delusional, it's massively cliché, it's probably not how this works in real life. I've only got books and TV shows to work out how this business works— heck, the nicest thing that has ever been said to me in a romantic context goes along the lines that I'll have to bioengineer a new species because nobody in their right mind would want to live their life with me.

Since your partner is from Fire Emblem, and you seem to be oh-so-lucky, since, well, you're not dead yet, what do you think your Luck stat would be in FE? What do you think your growth would be? Do you think you'd have the Miracle skill, and that would be the in-universe explanation for why you're not dead yet?

Buddy, let me tell you a thing. Everyone tells me that I'm lucky or that Sonia is my eternal Princess In Shining Armor that has to save my bacon all the time-- but let's get one thing straight. I'm a self-made man and everything that I am is because that I've achieved it fair and square. No luck, no miracles, no weird game mechanics.

Capiche?

P.S. Sonia is standing behind me and laughing really hard as I type this. I have no idea what's so funny about this but I have to ask: is this a trick question? Because I have a feeling this is a trick question.

I can neither deny or confirm my involvment in this petition as this might reveal sensitive data about high-importance DIA projects.

I am also aware that I have an array of heat management solutions installed in my mobile chassis. In fact, a fan malfunction during last mission left a processing cluster operating at less-than-optimal efficiency.

As for my legion of devoted admirers, I have but one message for them:

However, it is an occupational hazard that I must face, much like Naya's suit punctures or Emiranlanoamar's occasional missing limb. Fortunately, as a synthetic life form, I do have the advantage of hooking up to the HQ Wi-Fi network and uploading myself into a server should my mobile platform be in grave physical danger.

My meatbag partners do not have this perk, however. It must be hard for them.

No, of course not. Those are my thumbs; I need those things for goodness' sake! And what kind of circumstances would lead me to having candy bar thumbs anyways? Did Patterson put you up to this? Well, you can tell him that he's not impressing anyone with his stories about me.

But when I was, I knew Swords Dance, Foul Play, Dig, and Night Daze. It's a tidy move set that has served me well through the Sundering and in the postwar years.

And while I'm at it, I would like to clarify the events surrounding the story circulating the Kalos Nexus of me killing a Suvian with a fountain pen. Yes, it happened. No, it was not deliberate. Paladin Brown would've surely perished if I had not challenged the Stu to single combat.

Sorry to intrude, but don't you think it could be a good idea of discussing with Ix about the real reason you signed up for ESAS? That is a pretty important thing, and not exactly the genre of surprise to break out at the last moment.

I am curious as to why someone with the skills and training given to an Auror, even in part, did not attempt to join Internal Affairs. I can assure you, any incidences of discriminatory behaviour are entirely unwelcome here. I hope your search to ameliorate the side effects of your condition continues well.

Right now, I've just been trying to get him to Rudi's more often, but he just kind of clams up around all those agents. He thinks he'll give away too much if he talks, see, and even handshakes scare him because, well. Scars.

Maybe I should just invite some of my friends over and tell Ix he can't hide in the bedroom. That could work.

If you got the chance to go back into your original Nuzlocke, but as you are now, at the start of it and able to find your old trainer right at the start, knowing everything you do now, would you do it? If so, what would you do? Oh, and, since it just occurred to me, what level are you?

Well, if I could go back as I am now... I probably would. I'm a lot stronger now than I was back then, and I'd be able to save my friends who didn't make it. Plus, knowing about the games would give me a huge help in that regard.

...though changing the past probably isn't a good idea, is it...? sigh

I know I was level 36 when I died, but now... I have no idea. It's not like it really matters in the PPC, you know?

What's the biggest strain you've ever had on your relationship, without Sues interfering? How did you guys recover after it?

MidnightMariposa: Wrests control away from Granz. And one from me! How far, exactly, have you two gotten, huh? I mean, you've got to have gone farther than kissing, riiiiight? Winks knowingly. So spill! Let's hear it! Posts questions before Granz has a chance to delete.

Charlotte: I mean, there was the whole fight we had after our mission into Peter and the Starcatchers. You know, immortality versus mortality and all. small smile I'm glad we came to an understanding about that.

I mean, I already got some vacation time a few months ago, but if I got to pick again, I'd like to visit Alagaësia sometime. The Spine sounds like it's really pretty, as long as you don't get yourself killed.

Apecian: Great! The answer is... Incubus kiss! A succubus tried it too, but what can I say? He was hotter. ;) You'd think somebody trying to suck your soul out would hurt, but when you've got as much Galinergy* as I do, it's really not bad. Kind of fun, actually, and besides, the kisses aren't supposed to hurt, otherwise you'd fight it. But that's kind of a gimme, isn't it? Alright... hmm... Well, drowning and suffocating suck, so don't try those, really. Mmm... getting stabbed really hurts, and forget hitting the ground at terminal velocity. It hurts, it gets everywhere, and sometimes it annoys sentient flowers by getting your intestines on their hats. I'd say... mmm... sometimes, when I get shot, it's so fast I don't even feel it, so that's not bad, and once, I got poisoned with something that was basically the same way. Mmm... yeah, gonna have to go with getting shot, but they've got to really know what they're doing and hit you just right for that.

*Energy added to his Philosopher's Stone by consuming what Sues have in place of actual souls, pronounced Glinergy.

I believe I have heard of you. You are HQ's magazine, or so I am told. Well, please allow me to dispel any misconceptions anybody has about this situation.

When I saw Miss Knight in Rudi's, I saw in her some resemblance to a character, although I could not recall who. Upon later investigation, by which I mean returning to my Response Center and refreshing my memory by continuing my game of Fire Emblem, I realized she bears a striking resemblance to Sumia, a character in Fire Emblem: Awakening. I do not know why this is the case, but it would be rude of me to ask- something you should take to heart. I later returned to Rudi's, and I have since found Miss Knight a pleasant conversationalist. That is all. Now, if you do not mind, please do not ask me any further questions.

Apecian: And who is it who told you this stuff? 'Cause I haven't noticed anybody snooping around Rudi's whenever I was there... um... at least I hope nobody was...

If you're talking about the closest to death I've ever been, well, it was probably when we faced that Firebender!Sue. She incinerated my partner, and for a moment, I was afraid she would kill me before he had a chance to regenerate. Fortunately, he did, and we managed to dispatch her quite easily as she stood there and stared at him. However, for me, it was far more terrifying when a Sue invaded my life and came close to wiping out my entire self, and the selves of the others I was working with at the time. I only escaped by a plot hole created by a combination of Canonquakes and the presence of the Sue.

Apecian: Well, I don't really have any close calls, you know? I mean, we don't usually throw things in space, or in a volcano, or anything, and Sues don't usually like being there in our fandoms, so it's a pretty cushy job for me. Closest, then, is probably... I'd say when the guy who made me tried to kill me. Didn't really get many lives off of me, though, and I just ran out the door. He couldn't even use flame alchemy, so when I started speeding up, didn't have a chance of catching me. Did manage to cut at least half a dozen lives off of me before I got away, though, so, kudos to him.

Michael: Of course, my experience with death is only hypothetical, as we are only hypothetical agents. If or when we should become official, you should see our records for my true closest brush with death, and to see if Apecian's answer is changed.