You’re An Idiot: Flash Reduces Battery Life by 33%

So today the webernets (not the alleged word “blogosphere”…if you use that word, you are a moron) have been re-posting thestoryabout having Flash installed on a laptop can reduce the battery life by up to 33%. Really? You mean something I have installed, that by its very nature requires power to run, uses my battery? SHOCKING.

Anything that requires graphics processing will eat through your battery. If you don’t know this, you shouldn’t have a computer. This is such a blind and one-sided argument, seemingly being pushed by all the Steve Jobs sycophants and repeaters, that it begs the intelligence of the people reposting and swallowing this statement.

If you don’t have Flash installed, you can still eat through your battery just as fast or to varying degrees. How?

Turning on your computer

Using your computer

Running a screensaver

Seeing how much battery you have left

Watching DVDs

Having multiple background apps running

Polling for WiFi access

Multi-tasking

Animated GIFs

Video/Digital Darkroom editing

CSS effects (especially transitions, alphas, etc.)

Watching videos

HTML5 video, in case you were wondering or have Steve Job’s head up your ass, will also eat through your battery

You know what else you can do to save power? Not use your computer. Not wash your clothes. Read by candlelight, or even better, learn Braille! NO LIGHTS! TAKE THAT!

Do you see where I am going with this?

This is a non-issue. If you want to use Flash, Flash requires certain things to run. It’s like bitching about the fact that you need a computer instead of an abacus to run Flash. Did you know you can save $700-2500 (depending on machine) if you don’t buy a computer? This is like accusing your cat, who you want to watch go flying through the air chasing a fake toy, for having to eat. Like blaming cars for roads. Like blaming the human reproductive cycle for Kathy Griffin.

Your computer will use power to do what you ask it to do. If you don’t ask it to do things with Flash, it won’t use power for that. Got it? Also, 2+2 = 4. This isn’t news. This isn’t worth repeating. And it’s just shocking to see the masses of sheep jumping on the bandwagon.

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Introductions

Josh Rhoades is a technology Director (the awesome kind) of Front End Engineering, Software Engineering, and Flash Architecture teams, based in Los Angeles, California. He has lead multi-million dollar projects for Fortune 500 and Fortune 100 companies, worked on theme park attractions like Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters and Toy Story Midway Mania!, snuck across borders, led multiple developments and launches of Disney.com, fought the law, looked into an abyss, kissed an eel, and rescued at least one damsel in distress.
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