I am an Episcopal priest, ordained in 1972, and have spent most of my ministry working part-time in small churches while working in a†secular job. Most recently I worked in Higher Education while serving as the vicar of Christ Episcopal Church in
...

I am an Episcopal priest, ordained in 1972, and have spent most of my ministry working part-time in small churches while working in a†secular job. Most recently I worked in Higher Education while serving as the vicar of Christ Episcopal Church in Kingman, Kansas. Several years ago I wrote a column, called the Vicarís View, which was published in 3 small town newspapers in Kansas. I stopped writing this when my secular job began to take more of my time. Now that I have retired (sort of), and because I have had several people ask me when I was going to start writing again, I decided to Blog my thoughts.
This Blog is not intended to be ďreligiousĒ in fact some may think itís irreligious. Regardless, itís just the simple thoughts of a small town vicar.

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By lcarver44

Dec. 15, 2012
12:01 a.m.

When I was in elementary school I was a bit of a wuss. As I grew older and entered high school, I matured into a full blown nerd. Anyway, as a wuss, I avoided fist fighting, not all fighting, just fist fighting. I was an expert in getting into fights with words and I was highly skilled in using words to beat my opponent. It was primarily because of these playground work fights in third grade that I was able to develop a high skill of using profanity to make my case and win my fight. Most men didnít develop the skill that I had in elementary school until they were in high school or even the military. I was a master of using profanity to whoop anyone who foolishly engaged me in playground arguments.
I remember one rather feisty playground word fight in particular. The playground supervisor saw a couple of us pushing, shoving, and swearing at each other. She wanted to teach us a lesson so she hauled us to the office and turned us in to the principal who in turn gave us a lecture on the value of friendships, and how swearing was not the way an educated person talked. I thought to myself that being in 3rd grade is probably why we werenít educated since we hadnít had the benefit of Algebra, Chemistry, or Biology. Anyway, we listened to her line of Bull (I have cleaned this up since I am now educated) and then she said, ďI want you young men to apologize to each other and shake hands.Ē
Whoa, we werenít sorry and shaking hands wasnít going to clear the air. You see, saying youíre sorry when youíre not sorry is lying and even though I used profanity, I was smart enough to know that lying was not something a person should do. Saying youíre sorry when you are not sorry doesnít mean youíre sorry.
Recently, a Hip-Hop singer from South Korea named Psy who has a big hit titled ďGangnam Style.Ē Itís the most viewed music video on YouTube and he was a big sensation. However, it was discovered that several years ago he made some very nasty comments in song about the US military and their wives and children. Guess what he did? He said he was sorry but I canít believe he meant it. He was sorry that his record sales would drop and his income would be hurt. The DIxie Chicks made a poor choice of comments about President Bush several years ago. It was an outrage on Country and Western radio. BUt the Chicks refused to apologize because they were not sorry. I think the stuff they said was in very bad taste and I stopped listening to their CDís but I respected their integrity for not apologizing for something for which they were not sorry.
There is a long list of apologies from celebrities including Mel Gibson, Tiger Woods, Kristen Stewart, Hugh Grant, David Letterman, and even Brenda Lee. The list goes on and on with people saying theyíre sorry but usually itís for getting caught and not for what they did. If you are truly sorry you should apologize, but once youíre out of elementary school the principal canít make you say you are sorry and shake hands no matter what kind of language you use.