It was 20:14 when Brucifer used his gavel to put a scar on the table, showing himself to be the President indeed. Marty Cantor immediately called for the Chairman, to which Bruce replied, "I'm not the Chairman; shut up!" Someone called out, "Second," to which Marty replied, "That's not long enough!" Sigh; another day at the stupidity works!

The Treasurer's report showed that we'd had only 91 members the previous week; time for a smaller clubhouse? Bruce said he wouldn't mind closing up the Apa L room, "with at least two or three of you clowns in it."

Registrar Galen said he'd found lots and lots of guests, namely, Dennis Getchius and daughter Theresa, Kirsten Mae O'Brien and William O'Brien, Nickolas Pahana Stephens, Konrad R. Wilk, John L. Wolcott and Larry Schultz. Their interests included reading, gaming, and films, a typical fannish club mix.

Three cheers and a buzz haircut were shouted as praises to St. Jeff Siegel. That done, the important part of the meeting began:

Committees! Bob Null came forth as the Committee to Acquire Computer Crud for the Clubhouse. It seems we not only have a new computer for the Library, but enough spare parts were scrounged to build a whole new puter. We'll now have three machines in the computer room (or whatever you want to call it), and the old CP/M machine will go bye-bye so the DOS ones can go up against the wall (credit Frank Gasperik with that one).

Galen Tripp, as Committee to Keep the Clubhouse Clean, said that someone at 2nd Sunday had managed to get chewing gum on lots of chairs, kind of like a demented Johnny Appleseed. Charlie Jackson put in, "Johnny Gum-ass." Daffyd ab Hugh admonished, "Watch your ass." Suitable comebacks are left as an exercise for the membership.

Frank Gasperik, as the Public Action Works Committee, said that enough people complained about lack of public viewing access for the scheduled Columbia landing that their complaints caused the opening up of some public access! It's not entirely altruistic; NASA will have a souvenir stand for those of you who can bear to be separated from your money.

Jack Harness moved us into Surrealism by reporting on a 78-year-old man who received handslap probation and a "there, there" for killing his wife, while a man who tampered with electric meters got 40 years. Another silly sentence was a seven-year stretch in London for robberies committed with a cucumber as the weapon; use a pickle, go to gaol!

Charles Lee Jackson II figured he'd be the Committee for Making You Guys Angry With Me (i.e., him), by declaring that there would be no playing of Sim City after 9:30; it ties up the puters too much. As Video Committee, he announced the upcoming Quatermass serial. And as Committee to Keep Phil Castora East of the Continental Divide, he reported, "miserable failure." A hearty, if clean-shaven, Castora was present at the meeting, to the pleasure and wonderment of all. Welcome back, Phil!

Leigh Strother-Vien, Librarian, said the Library was open for business as usual, and that we should use it to make room for more books! No cheating by keeping the books out past their due dates; let's do it right. Leigh is actively collecting fines, so watch out. February may see the Library inventoried.

Ed Green, Surrealistic Military attaché extraordinaire (just try saying that in one breath!), said it was Warsaw Pact night! Idiocy #1: Albania has been bamboozling its citizens by claiming that their manned Mars fly-by was so successful, they'll soon send a man to Pluto. What a Mickey Mouse country! Idiocy #2: Gorbachev is mobilizing troops to quell the rising in Azerbaijan, but following Standing Operating Procedures, the call-ups will be mostly locals. Oops! #3: Romania is loosening the laws against pornography, and an erotic film about Dracula is in the works. Maybe they can get Nadia Comaneci as one of the Brides. So what?

Francis Hamit was pleasantly surprised that near everybody who'd signed up for the CPR and First Aid classes had reconfirmed.

Announcements: Leigh S-V said there was already a considerable waitlist for the Library's copy of the new Amber novel. She also announced the imminent opening of a feature film of footage from the Apollo missions, "For All Mankind," playing limited runs at the Cinerama Dome, the Crest Westwood, and some other houses. Shoshana McVey had heard some advance word on the pic, and said it was all favorable.

Ed Green said the April 19th LASFS meeting is planned to be a LASFS version of "Hollywood Squares," and wants to hear from people interested in participating. He could also use some help with the questions. Mike Glyer heckled, "I wanna be a square." Nah. Too easy!

Bruce Pelz said that the Board of Directors is seeking a chair for the 1991 Loscon. Submit your bids to the Board by 25 February. Gavin Claypool said there is a form available for requesting a second phone number to be listed in the LASFS Directory.

Reviews: Rick Foss had some nice things to say about a recurring food & drink festival to benefit blind children; it was $60 well-spent, quoth he. Also, some German cousins to Soviet President Gorbachev were manufacturing a mediocre brand of vodka to, you should pardon the expression, capitalize on the family name. Billy Beer goes East?

CL saw a pic on Custer's Last Stand which had a mild fantasy element, in the guise of an Indian's conversation with a spirit. PBS' "Mathnet" received good points, including a second-hand rave from Ed Buchman, despite a Buchman rating of zero. Trust these mathematicians to stick together. Francis Hamit said "Glory" was a good answer to the question of what it's like to be in a war.

Miscellaneous Business: Tom Safer said that Ira Levin's play, "Veronica's Room" was odder than "Deathtrap," and was beginning its run at the Morgan-Wixson Theatre. And our final surrealism report is that of a wrongdoer who led police on a merry chase, with both pursuer and pursued travelling in golf carts. The suspect was caught by some workers back at the pro club, and was charged with Grand Theft Golf Cart, among other crimes. You'd think that on a golf course, they'd get him on a driving charge.

That out of the way, we adjourned at 21:02 for a small auction and some theatrical trailers, courtesy of CL.