Random bits of things

Since I can’t keep a train of thought on the tracks to save my life, and since my boss is acting frighteningly antagonistic towards several of us, I’ve decided to keep posts short and sweet. If for no other reason, than for the fact that I’m being forced to work instead of blog – can you imagine? (insert petulant tone and sulking demeanor) So, I’m just going to throw some things out and see what sticks.
1. A friend of mine sent me a text reading, “OMG!! RU okay? Call me ASAP!! I saw on tv that the short bus turned over and I know u don’t like to wear your helmet because it gets in the way of licking the windows….” My first thought was, who in the hell saw me licking the windows??!!

2. So, my dog has a chronic UTI, which means she’s had a medical condition all along and is not just being a little shit. All I need is a wire hanger and my Mommy Dearest complex is complete. She’ll be on antibiotics for 2 months, and hopefully it’ll be gone. I feel like a complete asshole.

4. A joke: Q: Why do lawyers wear ties? (no offense intended to any lawyers who land here – it’d be just as funny with any other profession) A: To keep the foreskin from rolling up over their faces. Ahhhhhahahahahah……….. hello? Anyone think that’s funny but me? Okay, moving on…..

5. Spring is sprung, and I used to love gardening. Now, I can’t be bothered. I blame it on infertility. Maybe I’m just trotting that out there because it’s all I can come up with. I had a friend whose husband was diagnosed with cancer and he MILKED it, I tell you (he was terminal – can’t blame him at all for trying to shake things up a bit). He got out of speeding tickets, got good tables at restaurants, moved to the front of theater lines (movies and plays alike – the guy got around). He called it “playing the C card”. Like so many other shitty cards dealt in the game of life, you have to maintain a sense of humor or just fold ’em and be done with….. ah, black humor. Where would we be without it?

That’s pretty much it for now. Whenever my agency/clinic comes up with some information, I’ll have something a little bit more interesting to talk about besides dog pee and horrible jokes. Just biding my time…..