Commercials. There’s a plug for the Wrestling Hotline. 1-900-909-9900. Not that I recommend trying that number in 2012.

Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.

The Samoan Swat Team (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette). Samu beats up Lane to start. Lane scores a shoulder block. They do some drop down and leap overs. Lane ends up getting a cross body for a 1 count. Samu accidentally knocks Fatu off the apron. Fatu recovers quickly and tags in to put a hurting on Lane. Lane is having none of that and tags in Eaton. Eaton hits a diving dropkick. I’m not going to dignify it with the name of missile dropkick. MX make quick tags and work over Fatu. Cornette hits Samu with the tennis racket on the outside, which pisses Samu off. MX continue working over Fatu. Fatu chops Lane in the throat and tags out. Lane gets a sunset flip on Samu for 2. The Samoans try to double team Lane in the corner, but Samu ends up accidentally decking Fatu again. Hayes on commentary calls this “a main event in any arena.” He must have hit the nose candy before they went on the air. MX work over Samu. The Samoans cut Lane off briefly, but Eaton gets the tag and cleans house. MX switch behind the referee’s back without making a tag, but they’re babyfaces so it’s okay. The match continues to drag. Lane gets a near fall off a jackknife hold. The referee took a while to count because everyone was in the ring. Samoans get the heat on Eaton. Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild. The Samoans conk heads, which we know has no effect on Samoans. Paul E. trips Lane. Cornette hits Fatu with the tennis racket. Samu kicks Lane. Fatu covers for 2. Fatu beats up Lane for a while. Fatu knocks Eaton off the apron. This pisses Eaton off, so he comes in to distract Tommy Young while the Samoans double team Lane. Fatu goes for a diving headbutt, but Lane avoids it. Samu and Eaton tag in. Eaton runs wild. He bonks the Samoans’ heads together. They shrug it off and headbutt him. One of the Samoans accidentally hits the other when Eaton moves. Clusterfuck ensues. MX hit the Rocket Laucher while Cornette decks Paul E. Fatu hits Eaton with Paul E’s cell phone and puts Samu on top. Samu pins Eaton in 20:33. Solid formulaic tag match, but felt long.

Next, The Great Muta!

Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart) vs. Steve Casey. Man, Muta is young here. He meditates, then blows mist into the air, the blows mist into Casey’s face and kicks his ass. Muta hits a handspring elbow to the corner, then hits a snapmare and clamps on a rear chin lock. Casey manages to hit an arm drag and works Muta’s arm a bit. Muta hits a nifty dropkick in the corner, then sends Casey outside and teases a dive. Hart throws Casey back into the ring and Muta hits a diving dropkick. Muta rakes Casey’s eyes and continues beating on him. Casey works Muta’s arm a bit more. Muta flips around and works on Casey’s leg. Muta drops Casey with a sweet roundhouse kick, then puts a claw on his armpit. Not a typo. Casey makes his comeback and runs wild briefly. Muta avoids a dropkick and sends Casey out of the ring with the kick that Shelton Benjamin would call the Dragon Whip 15 years later. Muta then wipes Casey out with a cross body to floor and throws him into the barricade. Back inside, Muta hits a backbreaker and finishes Casey with the moonsault press in 8:12. Fine little showcase for Muta. I love Muta, I love moonsaults, and I love Muta’s moonsaults.

Junkyard Dog comes out with a New Orleans marching band.

Junkyard Dog vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed (w/ Hiro Matsuda). Ross puts over that these two are old rivals from the Mid-South territory, appropriate since we’re in the Superdome in New Orleans. JYD lands a punc and Reed bails for a moment. They want to fight, but Teddy Long insists that they open up the hands. JYD grabs a side headlock, then some shoulder blocks. He does the doggie headbutting deal and sends Reed outside again. Reed dicks around for a bitm then comes back in. JYD works Reed’s arm some. JYD hits a hip toss and a body slam and continues to beat up Reed. Reed finally gets the advantage and beats up JYD. Reed drops some elbows for 2, then clamps on a chin lock. JYD almost goes down, but rallies and makes his comeback. BIG back body drop by JYD gets 2. Double clothesline spot. Reed hits a diving shoulder block and covers, but JYD gets his foot on the ropes. Reed stupidly celebrates. Matsuda distracts the ref. Reed collides with Matsuda. For some reason, this knocks Reed out and allows JYD to get the pin in 8:54. It wasn’t completely horrible.

Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “Captain Redneck” Dick Murdoch. Lock up. Orton hits a couple of fireman’s carrys. Spell check doesn’t like that word. Murdoch hits a fireman’s carry of his own. They trade arm wringers. I approve. The work around arm locks for some time, and I’m perfectly fine with that. Murdoch escapes a rough spot and they lock up again. Orton puts a hurting on the back of Murdoch’s head. Murdoch fights back on spaghetti legs (term stolen from Jim Ross). Murdoch lands a dropkick and Orton takes a front bump into the turnbuckles. Murdoch drops Orton with a BIG right hand. Murdoch rolls to the floor and beats up Orton on the apron. Orton rallies and goes for the superplex. Murdoch fights him off and lands some blows. Orton rakes the eyes. Murdoch catches Orton coming into the corner and drops him. Murdoch goes for the brainbuster, but Hart trips him and Orton lands on top for the pin in 9:47. I dug the hell out of this.

NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Road Warriors (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan). Hawk and Rotunda start. Hawk gets the better of it and Rotunda bails. Hawk gives chased, but is blocked by referee Teddy Long. Animal tags in. He gets whipped towards the enemy corner and drops Doc with an elbow smash. Animal press slams Rotunda. Doc runs in and gets the same treatment. Hawk and Doc tag in and brawl. Hawk hits an atomic drop and a clothesline. Cover, but Rotunda pulls him off. Doc hits a clothesline and taunts Animal. Rotunda tags in and hits an elbow drop for 2. Hawk kicks out with authority. Animal tags in and grabs a headlock. Doc tags in and Animal gabs him too. They go for a backdrop suplex, but Animal flips out and dropkicks them, then hits a double clothesline. Animal gets low bridged out of the ring. Doc drops him in the hard floor. Back inside, the heels get the heat on Animal. Hawk gets the tag, but the referee didn’t see it. Animal continues to play face in peril. He eventually drops Rotunda with a lariat. Doc prevents him from making the tag. Animal clotheslines Doc. Hawk gets the hot tag and runs wild. Clusterfuck ensues. Animal shoves the ref. Doomsday Device on Rotunda. Sullivan and Ellering brawl on the floor. Long refuses to count for the Road Warriors. Doc schoolboys Hawk and Long makes a fast count to give the Varsity Club the titles in 11:37. Okay match. This must be the beginning of Teddy’s heel turn and becoming a manager.

Jim Ross interviews some pissed off Road Warriors and Paul Ellering at ringside.

Ranger Ross vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Rip Morgan). America vs. Iran. Sheik sings the Iranian national anthem, then jumps Ross and chokes him with his robe. Sheik hits a side suplex, then chokes Ross with his own shirt. Ross hits a suplex for 1. Rosss beats up Sheik. Sheik applies an abdominal stretch. Ross rallies and kicks Sheik in the head. Cover. Morgan hits Ross with the flag to cause the DQ in 1:55. Sheik and Morgan attack Ross. Junkyard Dog makes the save.

Bob Caudle interviews Ric Flair, who is going for his 6th World Championship tonight.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Rick Steiner & Eddie Gilbert (c) of The First Family (w/ Missy Hyatt) vs. Kevin Sullivan & Dan Spivey of The Varsity Club. The heels attack the champs before the bell and get the jump on them. The much larger Spivey beats up Gilbert. The much shorter Sullivan tags in and provokes Steiner, who kindly distracts referee Tommy Young so Spivey can beat up Gilbert on the outside. Gilbert continues to take abuse from the Varsity Club. Steiner gets the tag and runs wild on Spivey. Powerslam gets 2. Steiner hits a belly to belly. Sullivan breaks the cover. Clusterfuck ensues. Steiner clotheslines Spivey and both tumble out of the ring. Gilbert nails Sullivan with Hyatt’s Gucci bag and cradles him for the pin in 3:51, even though neither were legal. The Varsity Club beat up Gilbert, but Steiner makes the save with a chair. It was short.

Wrestling Hotline!

2/3 Falls Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (c) (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat) vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Terry Funk has joined Jim Ross for commentary on this match. Flair and Steamboat lock up. Steamboat pushes Flair into the corner and slaps him. They trade holds and do some amateur-type stuff o the mat. Steamboat slaps the piss out of Flair again, then wins a power arm lock contest. Flair gets the ropes to break and bails. They lock up again. Steamboat hits a hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover. They work around the headlock for a bit. I always enjoy that. They trade chops. Back to the headlock. Flair forces Steamboat into the corner and chops him. Steamboat replies with a chop that knocks Flair off his feet. Steamboat hits a big back body drop. Flair lands a closed fist punch. Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits a clothesline and goes back to the headlock. Steamboat beats up Flair a bit. Flair face plants and Steamboat covers for 2. Flair hits an inverted atomic drop. Steamboat drops Flair with another chop for 2. Steamboat hits a shoulder block for 2. Another chop gets 2 for Steamboat. Flair bails and face plants at ringside. Back inside, Flair lands some chops. Steamboat responds in kind. Steamboat gets another near fall. Steamboat hits a vertical suplex and goes for a splash, but Flair gets his knees up. Flair goes to work on Steamboat. Flair hits a butterfly suplex and tries to hold Steamboat down, but gets only a series of 2 counts. Steamboat fires back, but whiffs a dropkick. Flair goes for the figure-four, but Steamboat cradles him ala Chi-Town Rumble. Flair cuts back the cradle and pins Steamboat to win the first fall in 19:35. Commercials. They go at it again. Steamboat hits a diving chop for 2. Flair hits a backdrop suplex and a knee drop. He misses a second knee drop and Steamboat attacks his leg. Steamboat locks in the figure-four. Flair suffers for a moment, but gets the ropes. Steamboat locks on a crab hold. Flair gets another rope break and hides out in the corner. Steamboat goes back on the attack anyway. They do some more sweet mat wrestling, then end up outside. Flair sends Steamboat into the barricade and slams him on the floor. Coming back inside, Flair jerks Steamboat’s neck down across the ropes. Flair suplexes Steamboat back inside for 2. Flair applies an abdominal stretch and turns it into a ground Cobra Twist for 2. Flair tries to pin Steamboat with his feet on the ropes, but fails. Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then a jackknife hold for 2. Flair goes back on the offensive. He goes up top, but Steamboat cuts him off and hits a superplex. Steamboat applies a double chickenwing armlock and Flair submits to give Steamboat the second fall in 35:03. Insta-commercials. They keep going hard at it. Flair hits a shin breaker and applies the figure-four. Steamboat quickly gets the ropes. Flair argues with the referee. They do some stuff. Flair does the Flair flip in the corner and runs into a chop from Steamboat on the apron. Flair begs off, then trips up Steamboat and goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but only gets 2. Steamboat misses Flair in the corner and gets hung their briefly, injuring his knee. Flair goes to work on the leg and reapplies the figure-four. Steamboat suffers for a while, but finally roles into the ropes. Flair sends Steamboat’s bad leg into the apron. Flair hits a diving cross body for 2. Steamboat goes for a slam, but his leg gives out and Flair gets another 2 count. Steamboat hits a flying headbutt and a chop, then comes off the top with the diving cross body for 2. Steamboat hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Steamboat goes for a springboard sunset flip. Flair fights it, but Steamboat gets him over for 2. Flair clamps on a sleeper hold. Steamboat nearly goes out, but rallies and manages to send Flair outside. Back inside, Steamboat lands an enzuigiri for 2. Steamboat comes off the top rope, but Flair avoids it and goes back to work on Steamboat’s leg. They trade chops. Steamboat wins the exchange and beats up Flair int he corner. Flair goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Steamboat blocks it and chops him. Cover, but Flair gets his foot on the rope. Flair elbows Steamboat on the head and hits a backdrop suplex. Flair goes up top again. Steamboat throws him off. Steamboat gets the chickenwing armlock again. Steamboat’s leg gives out and they fall back, putting both mens’ shoulders on the mat. Steamboat lifts his at the last second and gets the pin in 55:30, even though Flair’s foot is under the rope. Steamboat retains the title. Great match, but I disagree with those who say this is better than Chi-Town Rumble. Insta-commercials.

Jim Ross interviews NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat. He’s ready to move on from Ric Flair. They examine the video and see that Flair’s foot was on the bottom rope. Steamboat agrees that Flair deserves another shot.

Enjoyable show. Flair/Steamboat is a classic and I really dug the Orton/Murdoch match and the Muta showcase.

CM Punk is sitting Indian style in the ring. We’re LIVE from Chicago. He cuts a promo about Randy Orton. He blames the New Nexus for their own misfortunes. They show Punk’s attack on Orton at Orton’s bus last week. He says he’ll close this chapter at Mania. Randy Orton limps out with his knee taped up. They brawl. Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat despite his injured knee. Orton goes for the punt, but his knee gives out and Punk escapes. He realizes that this would be a good time to take advantage of a wounded opponent and returns to the ring to taunt him, then kicks him in the injured knee. Punk delivers the Go 2 Sleep.

Tonight, The Undertaker and Triple H will face off! So will John Cena, The Miz, and The Rock.

Edge and Christian meet up backstage. Edge talks about the stupidity of Teddy Long saying he can’t touch Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown, but the iBooker says he can. Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio from Smackdown.

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Matthews are the announcers. Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio & Brodus Clay. Del Rio & Clay are of course introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez. Edge and Clay start. Clay is awesome at beating and being beaten. Edge and Christian make quick tags and try to work Clay’s arm over. They bundle him out of the ring and Christian gos for a dive. Clay catches him, but Edge knocks him down with a baseball slide dropkick. Commercials. Del Rio works Christian’s arm, having gained the advantage during the break. Del Rio and Clay keep the heat going on Christian. Edge gets the hot tag and runs wild. Edge goes for the spear on Clay, but Del Rio trips him from the outside. Christian attacks Del Rio, who whips him into the barricade. Edge spears Clay for the pin in 8:15. The match was fine. Del Rio puts Christian in the cross armbreaker in the aisle. Edge chases Del Rio out of the building. Edge goes back to check on Christian. Del Rio attacks him from behind and puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Trish Stratus and Snooki are in a bar in New Jersey. Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Chicago!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage with an upside down WWE logo.

The iBooker dings in. Lawler believes this will be a good chance to fuck with Cole, but Cole, who routinely leaves the Cole Mine, now stays securely inside and reads the e-mail from his iPad. Cole announcers Lawler vs. Jack Swagger for tonight.

WWE Tag Team Champion Justin Gabriel (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett, WWE Tag Team Champion Heath Slater, & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella (w/ The Big Show, Kane, Vladimir Kozlov, & Tamina). These guys will have an 8-man tag at Mania. They lock up and wrestle a bit. Slater distracts Santino. Gabriel lands a spin kick for 2. Gabriel cranks on Santino’s arm. Santino throws him off and makes his comeback. Santino frighters Slater with the Cobra. Kane decks Slater. Kozlov trips Gabriel behind the referee’s back. Show and Kane take out the rest of the Corre at ringside. Santino hits the Cobra for the pin in 1:52. There ya go. All of the babyfaces celebrate jovially.

Plug for WWE All Stars, a very silly looking game.

Triple H is headed our way! Commercials.

Keri Hilson will perform America The Beautiful at WrestleMania. Never heard of her.

The Undertaker comes out. So does Triple H. So does Shawn Michaels. Michaels apologizes for interrupting, then proceeds to hype up the match. Michaels is mad that Triple H thinks he can do what Michaels couldn’t. Triple H says Michaels has gone soft. He talks about Undertaker’s dedication and says that’s why he chose to pattern himself after Taker. Triple H has this really great bit about how he and Shawn made a pact to tell each other when it was time to leave, and now he’s telling Taker it’s time for him to leave out of respect. Taker says if he ever needed someone to put him down, he’d want it to be Triple H, but it’s not time for that yet. He says he and the streak will both survive Mania. Taker talks about how Michaels failed twice despite his greatness and that is now humbled. He sort of shoves Michaels. Michaels goes for the superkick. Undertaker catches it and goes for the chokeslam. Triple H breaks it up and stares down Taker. He tells Shawn to tell Taker why he will beat him at Mania. Shawn leaves instead. Triple H calls out to him. Shawn looks back and says “You can’t win.” Taker tips his hat to Triple H and leaves. Fucking great segment.

Tonight a face off between Cena, Rock, and Miz that won’t be in the same universe as the one we just saw. Commercials.

Jack Swagger (w/ Michael Cole) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler. Lawler comes out to new music that sucks compared to the music he’s always used in WWE. Cole gets on the apron. Lawler lunges for him. Swagger jumps Cole and beats him up. Swagger sends Lawler outside and throws him over the barricade so he can pose uninterrupted. Lawler clocks Swagger with a chair to cause the DQ in 1:16, then several more times to boot. He goes after Cole, who hides in the Cole Mine, so Lawler hits the Cole Mine, then tries to climb into it. He’s held back by Cole’s security. Cole throws liquid on him, then talks shit from the safety of his box.

Tonight, Cena/Rock/Miz stuff. Commercials.

Slam of the Week: John Morrison & Trish Stratus vs. Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie Guerrero from last week, where Morrison did the job for Vickie Guerrero. Yes. That happened.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be obnoxious and do John Morrison poses. I fast forward through her screaming with her nails on a chalkboard voice.

WWE United States Champion Sheamus & Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison & Daniel Bryan. Sheamus beats up Morrison. One of Morrison’s best roles is getting his ass kicked by Sheamus. Morrison decks Ziggler on the apron. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2. Commercials. Morrison continues playing face in peril. Bryan tags in and locks Ziggler in the LeBell Lock. Sheamus kicks Bryan in the back of the head, then tags in and kills Bryan with a Polish Hammer. Morrison saves. Ziggler accosts Morrison and gets dropped with a Pele Kick. Sheamus sends Morrison outside. Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock. Sheamus counters, then avoids Bryan in the corner and hits the Razor’s Edge for the pin in 6:15. What the showed of it was pretty fun.

Earlier tonight, stuff went down between Randy Orton and CM Punk.

Randy Orton ices his injured knee backstage. Scott Stanford asks him if he’ll make it to Mania. He says he’ll make it there, but Punk won’t make it out.

The Rock comes out. He talks about how his first WrestleMania match was in this building. He goes on with his promo, the highlight of which is when he calls John Cena “a homeless Power Ranger.” Cena comes out and talks to Rock for a while. They get mad at each other and act like they’re gonna fight. WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out. Miz babbles for a while. Rock says it doesn’t matter what Miz thinks. Miz and Riley jump The Rock. Cena has disappeared. Rock makes his own comeback, knocks Riley out of the ring, and DDTs Miz and gives him the People’s Elbow, then throws him out of the ring. Cena comes back in and gives Rock the Attitude Adjustment.

Cool opening video. Clash of the Champions open. We’re LIVE from Cleveland, Ohio. Jim Ross and Magnum T.A. hype up the show. The ring announcer is… a guy I don’t recognize.

The Russian Assassins (w/ Paul Jones) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette). Lane feigns some of his hokey karate crap. The Russian pushes him across the ring. They lock up. Lane does his hokey karate crap. Eaton tags in and works the Russian’s arm. The Russian slams Eaton and tags in the other Russian. Ross says it’s #2. Lane tags in and heats a weak clothesline. MX double team Russian Assassin #2. We get an inset promo from Paul E. Dangerously while the match is going on. Jones takes his coat off and acts like he wants to fight Cornette. Lane hits Jones with hokey karate kicks. The Russians console Jones. Paul E. joins Ross and Magnum for commentary. The MX clean house. Cornette hits one of the Russians with the tennis racket on the outside. The Russians fail to get any heat going. They pull the switcheroo and get the advantage on Lane. Lane is sent outside. Cornette threatens Jones with the tennis racket to keep him from getting in a cheap shot… just like Cornette got in a few minutes ago. The Russians get the heat on Lane. It’s boring. Lane catches one of them with a cross body for 2. That’s called a hope spot, kids! The Russians keep the heat on Lane. The legal one tries to apply a crab hold, falls over, and grabs the ropes to apply a half crab. Eaton makes the save. Russians try to double team Lane, but Eaton prevents it again. Eaton gets the hot tag and runs wild. Clusterfuck ensues. Paul E. leaves the booth. MX hit the Rocket Launcher on one of the Assassins. Eaton gets the pin in 13:15. This wasn’t any good. I normally like the MX, so the Russians must have sucked.

Bob Caudle interviews Ricky Steamboat, who is holding the baby who would grow up to be Richie Steamboat. They show video of Steamboat beating up Ric Flair.

Steve Casey vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed. They lock up. Reed pushes Casey into the ropes, then poses. Reed hits an arm drag and dances a bit. They lock up again. Reed pushes Casey into the ropes again. This time he doesn’t give a clean break. Casey hits a dropkick and an arm drag. Casey cranks on Reed’s arm. They trade arm locks. Casey wins that exchange and takes Reed down the mat, where he keeps working on the arm. Reed powers his way to his feet and backs Casey in the corner. Casey hits another arm drag. Reed slams Casey, but Casey holds on to the arm. Reed gets a rope break. Reed hides in the safety of being near the ropes for a bit. Reed gives Casey a taste of his own medicine by working his arm. Reed pulls Casey’s hair. Casey hits an arm drag to reverse the momentum in the battle of who can hurt whose arm more. Reed pushes Casey into the ropes. Casey hits… another arm drag. Casey works the arm some more. Reed bails. After a bit of time wasting, Reed calls for a test of strength. Casey stupidly obliges. Reed wins the test of strength, of course. Casey finally escapes and gets a hammerlock. Reed gouges his face. Reed throws Casey out of the ring and poses. Casey gets back to the apron. Reed pulls his head across the top rope. Casey fights his way back into the ring and makes his comeback. Reed cuts him off with a forearm to the back of the head and applies a camel clutch. It transitions into a rear chin lock. Said rear chin lock continues for some time. Casey tries to fight back again, but Reed throws him out of the ring again. This match has officially gone on longer than the MX match. Reed hits a suplex for 2. Reed argues with the referee. Casey tries to make his comeback, but Reed avoids a dropkick. Reed applies a rear chin lock again. He has a foot on the bottom rope just to be a dick. I’m pretty sure that would actually decrease your leverage, Magnum. Teddy Long accuses Reed of using the ropes. Nothing comes of that. Casey fights out of the rear chin lock and makes his comeback. Casey hits corner punches, a hip toss, and a monkey flip. Casey lands a couple of dropkicks. He goes for a cross body, but Reed catches him and press slams him. Reed goes up top and hits a diving shoulder block for the pin in 17:42. This would have been fine at 5 minutes. At almost 18, it was WAY too long and boring.

NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair comes out to the ring with Hiro Matsuda and a bunch of random women. Bob Caudle interviews him. Flair puts himself over and calls out Ricky Steamboat. He offers Caudle his pick of the women. Caudle isn’t interested. Steamboat comes out. Flair talks about how boring monogamy is and says he’ll beat Steamboat at the PPV on Monday. Steamboat talks about what a scumbag Flair is. Flair tells Steamboat to “go home and help the missus with the dishes.” Steamboat attacks Flair and they begin to fight. Caudle and women awkwardly stay in the ring. Steamboat rips off Flair’s suit and gives him a press slam and a back body drop, then hits the diving cross body and gets a phantom three count. Hiro Matsuda wakes up after being decked earlier and he and Flair double team Steamboat. Steamboat makes his own comeback, sends Flair out of the ring, and knocks him into the crowd. Steamboat comes back to the ring and puts on the tattered remains of Flair’s suit. The crowd approves. Steamboat rips it off and throws the pieces to the crowd, who still approve.

Coming up, The Road Warriors! The Total Package!

The Blackmailer (w/ Hiro Matsuda) vs. “The Total Package” Lex Luger. They lock up. Luger shoves Blackmailer across the ring. Repeat. Luger blocks a wrist lock. Blackmailer grabs a headlock. Luger throws him off and absorbs a shoulder block. Luger grabs a headlock, then drops Blackmailer with a shoulder block. Blackmailer bails. Back inside, the lock up again. Luger grabs a headlock again. Blackmailer tires of this shit and hits a backdrop suplex. Luger no-sells it. They stare at each other. They lock up again. Luger grabs another headlock. Blackmailer backs Luger into the corner and beats on him a bit. Luger reverses a whip, hits a back body drop, and does… a side headlock takeover. Luger lets go and the walk around and look at each other. They lock up again. Blackmailer lands some blows. Luger hits a powerslam. Luger does… another side headlock takeover. He works it for a while, then hits a press slam. Luger charges, but Blackmailer ducks and Luger tumbles out of the ring. Blackmailer pulls Luger’s neck into the top rope to keep him out of the ring. This match will never end at that rate. He chokes Luger against the ropes, then knocks him off the apron again. Luger hits a slingshot sunset flip for 2. They trade punches. Blackmailer scrapes Luger’s eyes and goes on the offensive. Blackmailer grabs a rear chin lock. Luger escapes and gets caught in the balls. Luger blocks a suplex attempt and hits one of his own. Blackmailer beats on Luger. Luger hulks up and makes his comeback. Luger hits a superplex for the pin in 13:02 to end it. That was a message to Barry Windham, who Luger will challenge for the United States title at Chi-Town Rumble. This pretty much sucked.

Still to come, the Varsity Club vs. The Fantastics.

Michael Hayes delivers NWA World Television Champion Rick Steiner to Bob Caudle for an interview. I’m pretty sure Steiner’s early gimmick was that he was borderline retarded.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (c) of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan) vs. The Fantastics. Sullivan & Williams won the titles, but the Varsity Club is using the Freebirds rule. Rotundo and Rogers lock up. Rotundo hits a fireman’s carry. Rotundo takes him down. Rogers gets back to his feet. They stare at each other for a while. Rogers hits an arm drag. They stare at each other again. Rogers grabs a side headlock. Rotundo pulls his hair. Rotundo does the drop down, leap frog, and is met with a clothesline, which gets 2 for Rogers. Doc tags in and beats up Rogers, which is probably the most enjoyable thing on this show so far. Rogers avoids an elbow drop and tags in Fulton. The Fantastics hit a double dropkick. Fulton swivels his hips. They lock up. Doc hits a shoulder block, then takes Fulton down. We get an inset promo from Rick Steiner, who just had an interview 5 minutes ago. Fulton fights back, but Doc takes him down again. Rotundo takes in. Fulton gets a sunset flip for 2. Doc tags in. Rotundo takes Fulton down to keep him from making the tag. Fulton ducks some clotheslines and hits a cross body for 2. Rogers tags in and hits a dropkick. Doc recovers immediately and pounds on Rogers. Rogers takes a rough looking bump off of a back body drop. Rotundo tags in and lands an elbow smash on Rogers, then slaps Fulton. Rogers fights back and tags in Fulton. Fulton hits a knee lift for 2. Fulton hits corner punches. Doc decks Fulton and sends him to the floor. With the referee distracted, Williams drops Fulton across the guardrail. Fulton plays face in peril as the Varsity Club put a beating on him. Fulton gets his knees up to block a splash from Rotundo. Williams tags in and keeps Fulton from making the tag. Rogers comes in the ring to attack Doc and is immediately forced out by the referee. Fulton stays in the pressure cooker. Doc hits an impressive press slam and a football tackle. Fulton holds onto the ropes to avoid the Oklahoma Stampede and lands on top of Doc. Rogers gets the hot tag and RUNS WILD~! Rotundo trips Rogers from the outside. Rogers avoids an elbow drop and fights back, but gets sent to the floor. Fulton makes a comeback. Rogers hits a diving cross body on Doc. Rotundo stomps Rogers in the back of the head. Doc gets the pin on Rogers in 13:25. For the first time all show, I can say I enjoyed this match.

Up next, The Dragon in action!

Bob Bradley vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat). Bradley talks trash. They shove each other. Steamboat ducks a punch and hits an atomic drop and some punches and a chop. Bradley bails. They lock up. Bradley hit a hip toss. They lock u p again. Bradley hits a body slam. Bradley hits an arm drag. Steamboat hits a hip toss and a few slams, then a pair of the best arm drags in the history of professional wrestling. Bradley bails. Steamboat slingshots him back into the apron and rams his face into the mat. Bradley bails again. Steamboat joins him and gets slammed on the floor and sent into the barricade. Back inside, Bradley rakes Steamboat’s eyes and hits a body slam. Bradley lands an elbow smash and another body slam, and a clothesline. Steamboat avoids Bradley in the corner. Bradley does the Flair flip. Steamboat hits an arm drag into an arm lock. Bradley telegraphs a back body drop. Steamboat succeeds with one, then hits another arm drag. The leap frog each other. Steamboat hits a hip toss and another arm drag. I will never complain about Ricky Steamboat doing arm drags. Bradly does a drop down, leap frog, leap frog, elbow smash. Bradley hits a sidewalk slam. Steamboat avoids a diving headbutt and drops Bradley with a chop. Steamboat hits a diving chop and a diving cross body for the pin in 6:24. See, kids? In the magical land of 1989, a guy getting a title shot on the next PPV wins matches to build himself up! What a novel concept. The match was okay.

Coming up, JYD, Sting, & Michael Hayes! Also, Rick Steiner.

Non-Title: Rip Morgan vs. NWA World Television Champion Rick Steiner. Morgan stomps the mat. Steiner bites his leg. We get an inset promo from Mike Rotundo while Morgan beats up Steiner. Steiner hits a Steiner Line and sends Morgan out of the ring. They lock up. Morgan beats up Steiner in the corner. Steiner no sells blows to the head. Because he’s too dumb to feel them, see? Morgan hits a clothesline. Steiner hits a powerslam, then barks and gets on all fours. Morgan stomps around some more. They lock up again. Morgan beats on Steiner. Morgan hits an elbow smash for 2, then grabs a rear chin lock. Morgan hits a body slam. Steiner avoids a diving splash and makes his comeback. Morgan avoids an elbow drop and bear hugs Steiner. Dumb move. Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex for the pin in 4:41. Steiner drinks something a fan throws in the ring. It was okay.

Bob Caudle interviews Sting, Junkyard Dog, & Michael Hayes, who are going for the Six-Man Tag Team titles tonight. They go back down into their dressing room. Kevin Sullivan comes in and locks the gate leading to the babyface dressing room. They can’t get out and they’re in the main event NEXT! What will they do?

The Road Warriors and Genichiro Tenryu come out for the main event. The Varsity Club hit the ring and attack them. The bell rings, so I guess this is the main event now.

NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship Match: NWA World Tag Team Champions The Road Warriors & Genichiro Tenryu (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. NWA United States Tag Team Champions The Varsity Club. They brawl while we get an inset of Doug Dillinger trying to open the door for Sting, JYD, & Hayes. Animal clotheslines everybody. They keep cutting to the back and interrupting the match. Hawk beats up Sullivan. Tenryu and Rotundo lock up. Tenryu lands a chop and a dropkick. Rotundo begs off. Cut to the back again. Don’t these fuckers know what bolt cutters are? Tenryu drops Doc with an enzuigiri. Hawk tags in and gives Doc a clothesline. Cut to the back, where Sting, JYD, and Hayes are finally released. Animal and Doc lock up. Animal powers Doc into the heel corner. Doc and Rotundo double team Animal. Rotundo sends Animal’s shoulder into the post and the barricade. Varsity Club get the heat on Animal. Hawk gets the hot tag, but the referee didn’t see it. The Varsity Club hit a spike piledriver on Hawk. Sting, Hayes, and JYD hit the ring for a three-way brawl. It’s a double DQ in 5:47. And this was lame. Folks are bawling all over the place. Cut to commercials.

People are still brawling. Ross and Magnum hype Chi-Town Rumble. Roll credits.

I think I enjoyed one match on this show. The rest of it was pretty suckish.

I’m finally back with Disc 3. This is the first review to be written on my brand new awesome computer!

Road Warrior Animal introduces #9.

#9Starrcade, 12/13/89Non-Title, Iron Team Tournament Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. NWA World Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers. The two Jims (Ross and Cornette) are on commentary. Scott and Hawk start. Scott goes for Hawk’s leg, then Hawk hits an enzuigiri. Hawk catches Scott’s leg, and Scott does a nifty flip out of it. Scott tags in Rick. Hawk nails a lariat for a two count from referee Nick Patrick. Animal comes in. Rick hits the Steiner Line. Animal takes over briefly, then Rick hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Tags on both sides. Hawk hits a press slam and a fist drop, then covers. Rick saves. Hawk hits a big boot for another near fall. Tag to Animal, who misses an elbow drop on Scott. Scott hits a belly-to-belly. Scott runs at Animal in the corner and gets caught with a kick or clothesline. I forgot which in the time it took to type that sentence. While I was typing those sentences, Hawk and Scott went at it. Scott hits a belly-to-belly overhead off the turnbuckle on Hawk. Animal comes in and works over Scott. Hawk comes in and beats up Scott too. Animal tags back in. Hawk beats up Rick for good measure. Road Warriors hit the Doomsday Device. Animal has Scott in a backdrop-style bridge. Both men’s shoulders were on the mat, but Scott lifts his shoulder at the last second to get the pin on Animal at 7:28. Nifty old school finish.

#8Starrcade, 12/17/00Three-Way Ladder Match: 3 Count vs. Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias vs. The Jung Dragons (w/ Leia Meow). Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are on commentary. Whoever gets the contract hanging above the ring gets a shot at Chavo’s Cruiserweight Championship. Kaz Hayashi and Shannon Moore start. They do a nifty bit, then a painful looking botch. Okay, this match is already looking like it’s going to be way to fast to type. Yang and Helms tease going at it, then everyone races for ladders. The sneaky boy band grab a ladder from under the ring while everyone else goes for the ladders on the aisle. The Dragons come in and send them out of the ring. Yang, who would one day become everyone’s favorite Asian redneck, Jimmy Wang Yang, dropkicks a ladder into Knoble (who would one day drop the K) and Karagias (who after the fall of WCW dropped off the face of the Earth). Knoble and Karagias end up alone in the ring and argue over who is going to take the contract down. They shove each other, then Yang dropkicks Knoble into Karagias. Knoble takes a bump into the ladder. Yang hits the Yang Time on Moore. Everyone else does suicide dives as Knoble goes for the prize. Yang pushes the ladder over and sends him into the pile. They do some crazy awesome spots that would take way too long to explain. Helms hits a sick neckbreaker on someone. Knoble hits a sunset flip powerbomb on Helms off the ladder. Moore hits a rear chinlock drop on Yang. Knoble goes for the prize, but Leia Meow comes in and stops him. Yang hits a cross-arm Iconoclasm off a ladder on Karagias. The Dragons build a scaffold out of four ladders. 3 Count send them crashing into it. Knoble drops Moore with a Tombstone Piledriver while Karagias hammers Helms. Hayashi and Karagias take bumps off the ladder scaffold. Moore hits an awesome headscissors on Yang to bring him off the ladder scaffold. Helms sends Knoble off, then both members of 3 Count pull down the contract together at 13:46. Awesome spotfest with lots of insane bumps.

Dusty introduces #7.

#7Starrcade, 12/13/89Non-Title, Iron Man Tournament Match: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair vs. Sting. Ross and Terry Funk are on commentary. Flair wins the tournament on a pinfall, submission, or count-out. Sting needs a pin or submission to win. If they draw, Lex Luger wins the tournament. They lock up, then Sting hits a hiptoss. Flair puts Sting in a hammerlock, but Sting counters with a drop toe hold. Flair inexplicably sets Sting on the top turnbuckle, then gives a clean break. They lock up again and Flair tries to out arm-power Sting, which I find foolish. Sting, of course, powers Flair down. Sting gets the better of an exchange and Flair takes a breather. They go at it again and Sting gets a near fall off of a backslide. Flair nails Sting with chops. Sting hiptosses Flair again, then dropkicks him. Flair throws Sting out of the ring, then chops him and whips him into the guardrail. Flair suplexes Sting back into the ring. Flair works over Sting and gets a near falls from a ground cobra twist and an inside cradle. Sting makes a comeback and kicks Flair’s ass. Sting puts Flair in the Scorpion Death Lock, but it’s way too close to the ropes and Flair gets a break. Flair attacks Sting’s leg and locks in the figure-four leglock. Sting escapes it somehow, but Flair keeps on working Sting’s leg. Sting gets a near fall with another backslide. Flair stays after Sting’s leg. Sting counters the figure-four with an inside cradle for the pin at 15:56, even though the time limit was 15 minutes. Good match, though. Ole and Arn Anderson come out and raise Sting’s hands in victory, as they’re all Horsemen at the time. I’m guessing it was soon after this that the Horsemen kicked Sting out for wanting his title shot at Flair.

Dusty introduces #6. We’re going way back to the first Starrcade for this one.

#6Starrcade, 11/24/83.Non-Title, Dog Collar Match: Roddy Piper vs. NWA United States Heavyweight Champion Greg Valentine. I should mention that throughout the match, the announcers can’t make up their minds if it’s a title match or not. It’s not. Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle are the announcers. Not much to say here, they just brawl and maim each other with the chain. They both bleed like crazy. Piper hooks Valentine’s legs with the chain and pins him at 16:08. Valentine attacks Piper and chokes him with the chain after the match. Sorry for the short review, but there’s only so many times in one match I want to type “punch” and “chokes (or whips) with the chain).

Animal introduces #5. Shit, another Scaffold Match.

#5Starrcade, 11/27/86Scaffold Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers). Tony Schiavone and Rick Stewart (who?) are on commentary. The Road Warriors wait at the top during the ring intros. Loverboy Dennis Condrey teases climbing up, but chickens out. MX finally does come up. The bell rings and the Road Warriors kick ass. Condrey throws powder in Hawk’s eyes. Eaton does the same to Animal. They fight on top of the scaffold. That sentence will cover the rest of the match until someone takes a stupid, unnecessary bump. Condrey falls, then Eaton, to give the Road Warriors the win at 7:08. Ellering takes Cornette’s tennis racket. Cornette climbs the scaffold to escape and runs right into Animal. Cornette falls and blows out his knees.

Jim Ross introduces #4, explaining the build up the epic Sting/Hogan showdown in 1997. In short, Hogan’s nWo ran roughshod over WCW for a year while Sting watched from the rafters and grew his hair out.

#4Starrcade, 12/28/97WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Sting. Schiavone, Rhodes, and Tenay are on commentary. Nick Patrick is the referee. Hogan throws his bandanna at Sting. Sting responds by slapping him. Hogan panders to the crowd, then Sting slugs him. Hogan panders some more as Sting just stands there. Okay guys, you’ve built the moment. Time to wrestle. Hogan beats up Sting. Hogan tries to elbow drop Sting three times, but misses every time. Sting dropkicks Hogan out of the ring. Hogan comes back in and they work a headlock. Hogan comes off the ropes but Sting leapfrogs him and sends him out of the ring with a dropkick again. They go back and forth, but nothing particulary interesting happens. They fight outside and Sting hits a Stinger Splash on the guardrail. Back in the ring, Hogan chokes Sting with his boot. Hogan hits the leg drop and gets the clean pin. Bret Hart shows up and says he’s not going to see Sting get screwed. Hart nails Patrick and takes over as referee. Hogan tries to run away, but Hart throws him back in the ring. Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton come in to attack Sting, but Sting is not to be denied. He hits a Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Death Lock for the victory at 12:53. Luger, The Giant, and a bunch of jobbers come out to celebrate with Sting. The Hogan pin on Sting was supposedly meant to be a fast count, and rumor is Hogan paid off Patrick to not count slow. If it’s true, Hogan is a prick, but a brilliant prick. The match comes off looking like Hogan won fair and square, then got screwed.

Ric Flair introduces #3.

#3Starrcade, 11/24/83Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Harley Race (c) vs. Ric Flair. Former World Champion Gene Kiniski is the guest referee for this match, the main event of the first Starrcade. Solie and Caudle are the announcers. It takes about 10 minutes for the entrances, introductions, and all that jazz. They do a headlock sequence. Kiniski warns Flair about using closed fists, so Flair nails Race with some elbows. Race backs Flair into the ropes and doesn’t give a clean break. Kiniski chastises him. Flair backs Race into the ropes and responds in kind. Race nails Flair with a high knee, but misses his falling headbutt. Flair nails a chop and covers, but no count. Flair puts Race down to the mat with a headlock. Very old school match. Flair holds him on the mat for a little while, but Race eventually powers up and hits a suplex. He misses the headbutt again. Flair goes for a move, but Race falls on him and gets a count. I think it was just one. Race gets Flair into the ropes and beats on him, but Kiniski pulls him away. Race hits a piledriver and something else for a near fall. Actually I can’t tell if the fall was near because Kiniski counts so slow and quietly. Race hits a neckbreaker for what I did see was a near fall. Wrestling in 1983 was a lot different than it is in 2009. Race hits a powerslam-type move for another close one. Flair tries to fire back, but Race headbutts him to the mat and finally hits his falling headbutt. Race rams Flair into the cage and beats on him some more. Flair finally fires back with chops and elbows. He’s BUSTED WIDE OPEN! Flair backs Race into the corner but gets headbutted again. Kiniski is a strict referee. Flair hits a knee drop and a kick to the head, then a piledriver on his own for a near fall. Flair hits a suplex for another near fall. Kiniski is such a shitty referee. Flair rams Race into the cage, then Race grinds Flair’s face into it. Kiniski pulls Race away again. Were referees supposed to be IN THE FUCKING WAY in 1983? Geeze. Flair locks in the figure-four leglock. Race reverses and the roll into the ropes, so Flair has to break it. Race hits his diving headbutt for a two count. Race hits a suplex for a two count. Race beats on Flair in the corner, and Kiniski pulls him away by his hair. Race goes for a suplex, but Flair reverses it into a suplex of his own. Ref bump. They should have knocked him out 20 minutes ago. Flair hits a cross body off the top rope for the win at 23:49. The ring fills up with people celebrating with Flair. This match was probably considered good by 1983 standards, but by my standards it was slow and boring, with a referee who really hindered the match.

Tully Blanchard introduces #2.

#2Starrcade, 11/28/85“I Quit” Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Tully Blanchard (c) (w/ Baby Doll) vs. Magnum T.A. I haven’t seen this match in a while. Hopefully it holds up better today than the previous match did. Schiavone and Caudle are the announcers. I don’t think we’ve heard that combination yet. They lock up. Tully throws a punch, Magnum throws one of his own, and the crowd pops big. Man, Magnum was OVER. The crowd comes to life whenever he throws a punch or does anything else for that matter. Tully gets heat, Magnum makes a small comeback and pops the crowd, Tully gets heat again. Rinse, lather, repeat, but it’s good stuff. Magnum goes head-first into the cage and gets cut. Either Tully gets color too, or Magnum’s blood gets on him, or both. Tully tries to make Magnum quit, but Magnum responds with a resounding “HELL NO!” Magnum fights back, but Tully won’t quit either. Magnum punches Tully in the corner, but Tully gives him an inverted atomic drop, then beats him in the head with the microphone. Somebody (Baby Doll I presume) throws a wooden chair over the cage to Tully. Tully breaks it and tries to use a piece of it to stab Magnum in the eye. Magnum gets hold of the spike and sticks it into Tully’s head, forcing Tully to quit at 14:48-ish. Really great match. It’s an old fashioned bloody, hate-filled brawl that still stands the test of time.

Ric Flair introduces #1! I’ve been wanting to see this match for a long time.

#1Starrcade, 12/27/93WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Vader (c) (w/ Harley Race) vs. Ric Flair. Flair has to retire if he loses. Schiavone and Ventura are the announcers. Vader gives Flair a shove and Flair takes a big bump off of it. Vader beats the snot out of Flair. With Flair’s honker, that’s not an easy job. Flair throws some chops, but they don’t phase Vader. Vader continues to kick Flair’s ass. Flair finally manages to stagger Vader with chops and punches, but Race attacks Flair outside of the ring. The interference gives Vader the opening to beat on Flair some more. Flair hits a few jobs, then Vader hammers him and hits a better version of that shitty slam Mark Henry does. Vader hits a clothesline off the middle rope. Vader goes airborne again but Flair moves. Flair hits a flying chop or elbow to the head, then totally misses a second one. He hits the third attempt, then a knee drop. Vader clotheslines him. Vader hits a superplex, but misses a big splash. Flair bounces off the ropes, then bounces off of Vader. Vader throws Flair out of the ring, allowing Race to get in another cheap shot or two. Back in the ring, Vader tries to splash Flair in the corner. Flair moves and fires back with chops, but Vader splashes him in the other corner. Flair throws chops and punches like they’re going to be outlawed tomorrow and finally drops the big man. Flair attacks Vader’s leg with the ringpost and chairs. Flair is FIRED UP and hammer Vader with the best punches I’ve ever seen him throw. Flair fights Vader like a man posessed, even biting him! Flair punishes Vader’s leg some more, then punches him down and goes for the figure-four leglock, but Vader kicks him away. Vader misses the Vader Bomb and Flair locks in the figure-four. Race tries to distract the referee. Vader manages to get a rope break. Vader goes up for the moonsault, but Flair moves out of the way! Flair covers for two. Race comes off the top rope and accidentally headbutts Vader. The referee ejects Race. Flair fires up with chops, then runs into the wall that is Vader. Flair manages to trip Vader and get the pin at 21:10. Fucking great match here, kids. Vader plays the big man heel better than anyone I’ve ever seen, and Flair is Flair. Great way to cap off a fine DVD release from WWE.

#19Starrcade, 11/26/87NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard (w/ JJ Dillon) (c) vs. The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering). Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone are on commentary. The Road Warriors are challenging for the gold in their hometown. Hawk dominates Anderson to start. Tully comes in and quickly tries to bail, but Animal press slams him back into the ring. He tries to bail again, but Hawk chases him down and throws him back in. The Horsemen double team Hawk briefly, but Hawk nails a double clothesline to keep the momentum on the Road Warriors’ side. Hawk press slams Blanchard, but Anderson clips his knee, finally giving the Horsemen a chance. Blanchard hits Hawk’s injured knee with a chair. Anderson hits a DDT on Hawk and covers, but Hawk kicks out at one. Blachard tries to put Hawk in the figure-four, but Hawk counters and keeps fighting. Anderson and Blanchard take turns beating on Hawk. Blanchard finally goes lock in the figure-four. Hawk finally makes the hot tag. Animal cleans house. Blanchard knocks referee Tommy Young out of the ring. Animal backdrops Anderson over the top rope. Warriors hit the Doomsday Device on Anderson. A young Earl Hebner (w/ full head of hair!) comes in and makes the three count for Animal gets the pin at 13:24. New Champions! But wait! Tommy Young comes back in. He saw Animal throw Anderson over the top rope and reverses the decision! Horsemen win by DQ! I really liked the match. It seemed custom made for the Road Warrior sto win the titles in their hometown, and I don’t understand why they didn’t.

Tully introduces the next match as well.

#18Starrcade, 12/29/96
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jushin Thunder Liger. Big commentary table needed for this crew: Schiavone, Tenay, Dusty, and Heenan. I love when WWE puts Liger matches on DVD. Liger controls the match early on. Rey hits a Frankensteiner and starts his comeback. A headscissors sends Liger out of the ring, then Rey does the precursor to the 619, which is the same motion, but with no opponent to hit. It’s just a fake out. Liger suplex Mysterio out of the ring. Rey comes back in but misses a dropkick. Liger puts Rey in a surfboard hold. Mysterio hits a standing moonsault for a near fall, then DDTs Liger right on his horns. Rey tries to springboard onto Liger, but Liger catches him with a dropkick. Liger hits a release German suplex for a two count. Liger hits a koppou kick in the corner. Rey respons with a monkey flip out of the opposite corner. Rey hits a cool headscissors and an Asai moonsault. Back in the ring, Rey hits a move and covers, but Liger gets a foot on the ropes. Rey goes for the springboard leg drop, but misses. Liger hits a diving headbutt for a two count. Rey goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Liger holds on and Rey falls. Liger hits a koppou kick and the Liger bomb for the win at 14:17. Good match, but I expected a match between these two to be a lot better. It’s definitely not a waste of time by any means, though.

Tully again, introducing the next match.

#17Starrcade, 11/26/87Scaffold Match: The Rock & Roll Express vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers). Rogers jumps Morton before he can climb the scaffold. When Morton recovers, he climbs up with Cornette’s tennis racket in hand. This sucks. Who invented this retarded match? Rock & Roll Express wins in about 10 minutes. Cornette sends Big Bubba up the scaffold. Morton gives him a low blow and climbs down to safety. This was shit and a complete waste of time.

Ric Flair introduces the next match, because he’s in it!

#16Starrcade, 12/26/88NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ric Flair (c) (w/ JJ Dillon) vs. Lex Luger. Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are announcing. In ring intros, courtesy of legendary ring announcer Gary Michael Capetta. Tommy Young is the referee. The stipulation here is if Flair gets DQ’d, Luger wins the title. Luger clotheslines Flair out of the ring early. They show Lou Thesz in the crowd. Luger overpowers Flair early on. Flair chops Luger, who doesn’t sell it, so Flair bails and begs off. Luger works Flair’s arm. Luger doesn’t sell Flair’s chops again. Luger beats up Flair some more. Flair shoves the referee, who warns him. Flair must have forgotten that he can lose the title on a DQ. Flair finally gets the advantage. Luger locks on a sleeper hold, but Flair escapes. Flair goes for the figure-four, but Luger counters with an inside cradle for a near fall. Luger hits a superplex for a near fall, then puts Flair in the figure-four. Flair doesn’t give up, though, so the match continues. Luger accidentally nails the ref, then Flair throws Luger over the top rope. Ross says it should have been a DQ. Why wasn’t Luger DQ’d in the first few minutes when he clotheslined Flair over the top rope? Anyway, more neat stuff happens while I was typing. Flair attacks Luger’s leg with a chair while the referee isn’t paying attention. Flair works Luger’s leg over. Flair locks in the figure-four. Luger manages to turn it over. Flair goes up top, but of course Luger throws him off. Luger gets a sunset flip for a near fall. Luger puts Flair in the Torture Rack, but his leg gives out and Flair gets the pin with his feet on the ropes at 31:02.

Jim Ross introduces the next match.

#15Starrcade, 12/27/95
Eddie Guerrero vs. Shinjiro Otani (w/ Sonny Onoo). I’ve seen this a few times before, most recently on the Eddie Guerrero DVD set that came out a few months ago. Schiavone, Rhodes, and Heenan are commentary. This match is part of the WCW vs. New Japan World Cup. They’re tied at 2 points each at this point. Anyway, they wrestle, and it’s very good. The first few minutes mostly mat-based. Otani hits a neat monkey flip. Eddie hits a move and sends Otani to the outside. Back in the ring, Eddie puts Otani in a crab hold. Eddie hits a brainbuster and covers, but Otani gets his foot on the ropes. Otani sends Eddie to the outside and hits a springboard suicide dive. Otani gets him back in the ring and works him over. Otani locks in a sleeper hold, but Eddie hits a backdrop suplex to escape it. Cover gets two. Otani hits a German suplex for a near fall. Eddie hits a nice avalanche-style Frankensteiner for a near fall. Eddie hits a sit-out Razor’s Edge (they’re probably a better name for it I can’t think of). Otani manages to get Eddie in an ankle hold. Eddie gets a rope break. Eddie hits his own dive to the outside. Otani suplexes Eddie back into the ring and hits a springboard dropkick. Otani does the throat slash gesture about 5 times and goes for the Dragon suplex. Eddie counters and they do a pinfall reversal sequence, during which Otani gets the pin at 13:44.

Road Warrior Animal introduces the next match.

#14Starrcade, 12/26/88NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Road Warriors (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Dusty Rhodes & Sting. Ring intros from Capetta. Tommy Young is the referee. Ross and Caudle are announcers. Sting and Animal lock up. Sting sends Animal out, then works his arm when he comes back in. Tag to Dusty. Dusty hits the elbow on Animal, who tags out to Hawk. They brawl a bit, then Sting comes back in and brawls with Hawk too. Animal comes back in and press slams Sting. Dusty tags in and works over Animal’s leg, wrapping it around the post. Hawk tags in and wants a test of strength with Dusty. Dusty nails him and goes for the figure-four, but Animal stops him. Hawk and Dusty end up outside the ring, where Hawk beats up Dusty. Back in the ring, the Warriors make the exchange and Animal takes a turn wearing down Dusty. Warriors continue getting heat on Dusty. Dusty manages to tag Sting, who comes in against Animal. Sting hits the Stinger Splash and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Hawk breaks it and sends Sting to the outside. Warriors beat on Dusty. Sting comes in and hits a cross body on Animal. Ellering stops the referee from making the count to cause the DQ at 11:18. Dusty and Sting celebrate afterwards, even though they didn’t win the belts.

Ric Flair and David Crockett introduce the next match.

#13Starrcade, 12/28/92King of Cable Tournament – Final: Sting vs. Vader (w/ Harley Race). Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura are on commentary. They lock up. Sting throws some punches Vader doesn’t sell. Vader slams Sting. Sting runs into Vader, which is the equivalent of running into a brick wall. Vader press slams in and drops him on the ropes. Sting finally drops Vader with a rolling kick. Sting hits a release German on Vader and keeps his momentum going by clotheslining Vader over the top rope. Sting dives over the top rope onto Vader and Race. Back in the ring, Vader hammers Sting with punches. Vader misses a splash in the corner and Sting takes him over with an arm drag. Vader kicks Sting in the face, but Sting comes back with a DDT and a superplex! Sting locks Vader in the Scorpion Death Lock! Vader gets out and they head outside. Sting goes for a Stinger Splash, but Vader moves and Sting hits the guardrail. Vader goes on the offensive back in the ring. Vader hits a backdrop and a big splash for a two count. Sting gets a near fall with a backslide. Sting goes for a sunset flip. Vader tries to sit on him, but Sting moves. Vader hammers Sting with more punches. Vader sets up Sting on the top rope, but Sting punches him, causing him to fall. Sting doesn’t have any energy left to hit a move, though. Vader makes it up and wallops Sting some more. Sting makes a comeback and hits a diving splash for a two count. Race distracts Sting allowing Vader to nail him and take over again. Vader hits a chokeslam and a second rope splash. Vader goes up top again, but Sting slams him and gets the pin at about 17 1/2 minutes. Awesome match.

Flair and Crockett introduce the next match.

#12Starrcade, 11/24/83NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Brisco Brothers (c) vs. Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood. Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle are on commentary. For the second match in a row, the video starts after the opening bell, so I can’t get a match time. Jack and Steamboat start. Angelo Mosca is the special referee. Briscos make a few quick tags. From a distance, I can’t tell the difference between Steamboat and Youngblood. I guess I’ll have to watch the hair, as Youngblood has a mullet. Steamboat and Youngblood make quick tags and work over Jerry. Jack tags in and goes at it with Steamboat. Jack (I think) hits a double-underhook suplex (pronounced “suplay” by Solie) and does a neat waistlock into a pinning predicament for a near fall. Jerry uses a keylock on Steamboat, but Steamboat powers out. Youngblood tags in and goes at it with Jack. Jerry comes back in and gets a near fall with a ground Cobra Twist. Jerry doesn’t like the count and shoves Mosca, who shoves him back, allowing the challengers to get the advantage. Steamboat drops Youngblood onto Jerry for the pin at about 12 minutes. The Briscos are poor spots about losing and attack Mosca, Steamboat, and Youngblood after the match. Jack puts Steamboat in the figure-four and Jerry goes up for a splash onto Steamboat, but Mosca catches him. Steamboat and Youngblood fight them off.

Flair and Crockett again, introducing #11.

#11Starrcade, 11/28/85NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ric Flair (c) vs. Dusty Rhodes. Yay, we finally get a bell! Tommy Young is the referee. Schiavone and Caudle are on commentary. They lock up, then Dusty clubbers Flair. Flair bails and takes a moment to compose himself before coming back in. Flair leapfrogs Dusty, but takes a Bionic Elbow to the head. Flair takes another breather. Back inside, Dusty works Flair’s arm over. Flair gets out of it and fires away with chops. Flair kicks Dusty’s leg and apparently hurts it, because Dusty howls in pain and bails. Ah, it’s the same leg that the Horsemen broke months earlier. Dusty mans up and comes back the apron, where he nails Flair with some more elbows. Dusty works on Flair’s leg. Flair tries to suplex Dusty, but can’t get him up. Dusty reverses it and suplexes Flair, then goes back to the leg. Flair manages to get Dusty in a sleeper hold, but Dusty escapes and sends Flair face first into the turnbuckle. Dusty wraps Flair’s leg around the post. Flair goes up top and gets thrown off for the 5 billionth time. Dusty goes for the figure-four, but Flair pushes him away. Flair fires a chop and goes for the figure-four, but Dusty pushes him away. Flair tries again with the same result. The fight some more. Dusty gets thrown over the top rope while the referee isn’t looking, but makes it back in and hits a diving cross body for a near fall. They fight some more, then Flair punishes Dusty’s leg some more. Flair locks in the figure-four and tortures Dusty, but eventually releases the hold. Dusty hits some elbows for a near fall. There’s a ref bump. Dusty puts Flair in the figure-four. Arn and Ole Anderson run in and attack Dusty. A second referee comes in and makes a two count for Flair. Dusty gets an inside cradle and pins Flair at 22:07. The babyfaces come down and celebrate with Dusty. Dusty’s title win here was, appropriately, a Dusty finish, as the decision was reversed a few days later.

Dusty Rhodes introduces #10.

#10Starrcade, 12/28/97WCW World Cruiserweight Championship Match: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Dean Malenko. Schiavone, Rhodes, and Tenay are the announcers. Charles Robinson is the referee. Eddie is a brilliant asshole heel, and Malenko is the babyface who wants to kick his ass. Eddie and Malenko are great, of course. Malenko hits an Alabama Slam and a jackknife hold for a near fall, then a powerslam. They trade shots, then Eddie rakes Malenko’s eyes, then snapmares him and rubs a boot into his face. More stuff happens. Eddie goes for a tornado DDT but gets tossed away. Malenko hits a move for a near fall. Sorry, I’m a little sleepy and having trouble keeping up with the match. Eddie works on Malenko’s leg. Malenko hits a sort of German suplex for a near fall. Eddie tries a move, but Malenko spins him around into a backbreaker. Eddie tries a top rope Frankensteiner and Malenko tries to counter it. They both end up falling. Malenko hits a powerbomb and goes for the Texas Cloverleaf, but doesn’t get it. Eddie hits a missile dropkick and the frog splash for the win at 14:57.

Chattanooga, Tennessee! Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are the announcers. Fucking Jason Hervey is ring announcer for the first match. I hope he’s not on for the whole show.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Tournament – Final: Eddie Gilbert & Ron Simmons vs. The Fantastics. I didn’t hear an opening bell. That’s annoying. Tommy Young is the referee! Simmons and Fulton shake hands a lock up. Fulton tries to knock Simmons down and fails. He finally knocks Simmons down with a dropkick. Simmons misses a lariat, but hits a backbreaker. Simmons press slams Fulton. Rogers tags in and trades arm locks with Simmons. Gilbert tags in and his a nice, fast paces exchange with Rogers. Fulton tags in. Gilbert gets a sunset flip for a near fall. Fulton and Gilbert do some nice wrestling. Gilbert looks to be getting agitated. Fulton takes Gilbert down with a headlock. Gilbert turns it into a headscissors. Fulton turns back into a headlock. Fulton gets an inside cradle for 2. They shove each other, then shake hands again. Fans boo that. Simmons tags in and takes over for Gilbert, working Fulton’s arm. Fulton gets an inside cradle for 2. Simmons gets a schoolboy for 2. Rogers misses a diving elbow drop and gets hit with a football tackle by Simmons. Gilbert tags in and works Rogers’ arm. Fulton gets the tag and works Gilbert’s arm. Gilbert escapes with a fireman’s carry. They’re starting to get aggressive with each other. Simmons tags in and schoolboys Fulton for 2. Simmons accidentally shoulder blocks the turnbuckle. The Fantastics make quick tags and work Simmons’ shoulder. Simmons escapes and tags in Gilbert. Gilbert hits a neckbreaker on Rogers for 2. Gilbert hits a suplex for 2. Rogers suplexes Gilbert and makes the tag to Fulton. Simmons tags in and slams Fulton. Fulton avoids an elbow drop and hits a leg drop for 2. Rogers tags in and hits a knee lift for 2. Rogers hits an elbow smash and a jackknife hold for 2. Simmons powers him into the corner and makes the tag to Gilbert. Gilbert hits a backdrop suplex on Rogers for 2. Simmons tags in and works Rogers’ arm. Rogers avoids Simmons in the corner, then tags in Fulton. Fulton goes for a diving cross body, but Simmons catches him mid-air with a powerslam. Gilbert tags in and gets a reverse cradle for 2. Fulton kicks Gilbert off into the post. Gilbert gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade. Fantastics work Gilbert’s injured arm. Every time Gilbert gets a move in, then Fantastics tag and keep him under pressure. Gilbert hits the hot shot on Fulton and makes a comeback. Fulton avoids Gilbert in the corner causing Gilbert to hit the post again. Fulton schoolboys Gilbert for the pin in about 29 minutes. Really good match.

Starrcade ’88 on December 26!

Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger are at… I guess the other broadcast booth. They talk about stuff.

The Italian Stallion vs. “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (w/ Kevin Sullivan). Doc has now turned heel and joined the Varsity Club. No opening bell here either. Doc totally schools Stallion in wrestling. Stallion retaliates and dropkicks Doc out of the ring. Stallion wrings Doc’s arm. Doc takes him down again. Stallion hits Doc with a clothesline. Doc bails. They trade hammerlocks. Doc hits what would be called the Angle Slam years later. Stallion avoids an elbow drop and hits a leg for 1. They wrestle some more. Doc cheats by using the ropes for leverage to try to get the pin. Referee Teddy Long eventually catches him. Stallion hits a cross body for 2. Doc’s kick out sends Stallion out of the ring. Doc beats up Stallion some more and throws him out of the ring again so Sullivan can get his cheap shots in. Doc beats up Stallion on the outside. Doc suplexes Stallion in from the apron. There’s a cut in the video. Stallion fights back. Doc applies a sleeper hold. Stallion fights back and hits a clothesline. Doc avoids an elbow drop. Doc gets a schoolboy for 2. Doc works Stallion’s leg. Stallion gets sent outside so Sullivan can cheap shot him again. Doc hits a double axe handle off the apron. Back inside, Stallion hits corner punches, but Doc hits an inverted atomic drop. Doc takes Stallion down with a front face lock, then applies a rear chin lock. Doc slams Stallion and goes for a diving headbutt, but Stallion avoids it. Stallion makes his comeback. Doc catches Stallion and hits the Oklahoma Stampede for the pin in about 15 minutes. Pretty decent match.

Tony Schiavone, Lex Luger, and Jason Hervey talk. They show clips of the Wonder Years, which I love. I wish some channel would start airing that again. I miss the days when it was on Nick At Nite.

Magnum T.A. interviews Junkyard Dog.

Jim Ross promises lots more to come!

They show footage of the Road Warriors jamming a spike into Dusty Rhodes’ eye.

Starrcade hype video.

Ivan Koloff vs. Paul Jones. Koloff has to wrestle with one hand tied behind his back. No bell again. Jones bails immediately. Koloff trips Jones. Jones lands a light punch. Koloff punches Jones. Jones begs off. Koloff headbutts him. Koloff slowly and boringly beats up Jones. Koloff chokes Jones. Jones beats up Koloff. Fuck this is boring. Jones chokes Koloff with the rope that was used to tie Koloff’s arm. They go outside. Jones sends Koloff into the post a couple of times. Jones beats up Koloff some more. Koloff lands some punches. Jones bails and hits Koloff with an object of some sort. Jones beats up Koloff. Koloff beats up Jones. Jones bails again. Motherfuck me, this sucks. Koloff gets the object and hits Jones with it for the pin in about 7 minutes. This was fucking horrible in every way imaginable. The Russian Assassins jump Koloff after the match. Junkyard Dog makes the save with his chain. Insta-commercials.

Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger talk about the abortion we just witnessed and about the Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes situation.

Jim Ross talks to Sting briefly. Insta-commercials.

Road Warrior Animal and Paul Ellering are in the ring awaiting Dusty Rhodes, but Rhodes isn’t there yet.

NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship Match: Road Warrior Animal (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Dusty Rhodes. The deal here is that Dusty and the Road Warriors were champions, then the Warriors turned on Dusty, so the winner of this match gets to pick his partners for the titles. Again, no bell. Dusty nails Ellering with the Bionic elbow, then brawls with Animal. Rhodes wraps Animal’s leg around the post a few times. Dusty works Animal’s leg back in the ring. Rhodes chops the referee for no reason, then locks Animal in the figure-four. Ellering breaks it. Animal beats up Dusty. Rhodes hits Animal in the balls and tears at his eye. Hawk runs in and attacks Dusty. Sting makes the save. Dusty attacks Animal’s leg with a chair. The bell rings for the DQ in about 3 minutes. Replays. Insta-commercials. I think Animal won by DQ. It sucked, but it did fine setting up Sting & Dusty vs. Warriors at Starrcade.

Schiavone and Luger talk.

The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair & NWA United States Heavyweight Champion Barry Windham (w/ JJ Dillon). Finally a bell! Eaton and Flair start. Eaton slaps Flair silly, then decks Windham on the apron. Flair and Eaton trade shots. Eaton back body drops Flair. Windham tries to sneak in, but Eaton is having none of that shit. Flair flips in the corner, then gets decked by Stan Lane on the apron. Lane tags in kicks Flair. Flair catches Lane’s leg and tags in Windham. Lane drops Flair with an enzuigiri. Lane lands a dropkick on Windham. Windham beats up Lane, hits a body slam and goes for a diving elbow drop. Lane avoids it and lands a kick that sends Windham out of the ring. Eaton scares Flair off and decks Windham. Lane slingshots Windham back into the ring and tags in Eaton. Flair tags in. Eaton hip tosses and slams both Horsemen. Eaton nails Flair and Windham with a double clothesline. He covers Windham, but Flair is the legal man. Flair and Windham take a powder on the outside. Flair and Lane go at it. Lane locks Flair in the figure-four leglock! Eaton decks Windham and locks him in it too! Lane hits Flair with an elbow smash for 2. Lane hits Flair with some of his karate kicks. Eaton tags in. Flair begs off, then punches Eaton in the face. Eaton and Flair trade shots. Lane tags in and wrestles with Flair. We get an inset promo from Paul E. Dangerously. Flair goes up top, but Lane throws him off. Eaton tags in and beats up Flair. Flair flips in the corner and tries a diving double axe handle, but Eaton counters and hits a neckbreaker. Eaton decks Windham. MX hit a double flapjack on Flair. Eaton covers Flair, but Dillon puts Flair’s foot on the rope. Eaton gets a reverse cradle for 2. Windham nails Eaton from behind. Windham tags in and beats up Eaton. Windham punches Eaton out of the ring. Windham suplexes Eaton in from the apron, then hits a powerslam for 2. Flair tags in and hits a knee drop, then slaps Eaton and boot scrapes his face. Windham hot shots Eaton into the barricade on the outside. Lane nails Windham. Flair attacks Eaton on the outside. Windham tags in and hits a lariat on Eaton for 1. Windham hits a gutwrench suplex, then a knee drop. Windham locks Eaton in a sleeper hold. Flair tags in and beats up Eaton. Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild. MX double team Windham. Lane kicks Flair out of the ring. Eaton hits the diving leg drop on Windham. Cornette and Dillon get into it. Flair hits Eaton with Dillon’s shoe. Windham pins Eaton in 17:42. Awesome match. Insta-commercials.

Tony Schiavone interviews Jim Cornette.

Jim Ross and Bob Caudle talk about the show as highlight play.

Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger talk about the main event.

The show was good besides a couple of shitty matches in the middle. The opener and the main event were really good.

Jim Ross is in the parking lot of the James L. Knight Center. Some uninteresting people show up, including Frances Crockett, Gary Juster, and some other names I didn’t catch.

Miami Mayhem!

Clash of the Champions open.

Tony Schiavone and Bob Caudle introduce the show. I assume they’re the announcers. Bruce Owens is the ring announcer. Who?

Intros for the United States title match, then commercials. Seriously? Commercials?

NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Barry Windham (w/ JJ Dillon) vs. Brad Armstrong. They lock up. Armstrong hits what Caudle calls a nice arm drag, but I didn’t see it because they cut away to fans. Windham hits an arm drag and they cut away to Dillon. Does this camera man hate arm drags? Armstrong slams Windham, who bails from the ring. They lock up again and Windham beats up Armstrong. Armstrong hits a hip toss and a headlock takeover. Windham turns it into a headscissors. After the break, Windham bails again to consult with Dillon. They lock up again and Armstrong goes back to his side headlock. Windham goes back to his headscissors. Windham argues with referee Teddy Long. They lock up and fuck around some more, then Windham BLASTS Armstrong with a big right hand. Another right and a body slam from Windham. Windham goes for a fist drop, but Armstrong avoids it. Windham bails again. Back inside, Armstrong takes over Windham with a headlock yet again. They finally get up and do some jumping around. Armstrong applies… a side headlock. Windham turns it into a backdrop suplex. Good. Windham hits a powerslam for 2. Windham applies a figure-four leglock. Dillon helps him behind Teddy Long’s back. Armstrong tries to turn it over, but fails. Long finally catches Windham using the ropes and forces him to break. Windham beats up the weakened Armstrong and throws him out of the ring. Windham slams Armstrong into the barricade. Windham slingshots Armstrong back into the ring and slams him, then goes for a diving elbow drop. Armstrong avoids it and makes his comeback. Armstrong hits a diving cross body for 2, then goes for another one. Windham rolls through and clamps on the claw hold to get the pin in 13:57. Fine match.

Coming up, The Fantastics!

More 1988 commercials! They’re actually kind of amusing.

Tony Schiavone and Bob Caudle talk to Lyle Alzado, some former football player doing a TV show. They show footage of the show (Learning The Ropes), where Alzado plays a teacher moonlighting as a pro wrestler. That looks kind of amusing.

Bob Caudle interviews the returning Rock & Roll Express.

Next, we’re on a boat! Well, a yacht, where Ric Flair and Lex Luger sign the contract for their World Championship Match at the Great American Bash PPV. Amazingly, the Four Horsemen leave without beating the hell out of Luger.

Next, the Fantastics vs. The Sheepherders!

Commercials! Hah! An A&W Cream Soda commercial with the guy who played Larry on Newhart!

The Four Horsemen arrive! Except for Windham, who was already there. Jim Ross interviews Ric Flair.

Intros for the United States Tag Team title match, then cut TO THE BACK!

Lex Luger arrives and is immediately jumped by the Four Horsemen. They beat the shit out of him.

More commercials!

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: The Fantastics (c) vs. The Sheepherders (w/ Rip Morgan). Never heard a bell. It was probably lost somewhere in all the hubub. The Sheepherders beat up Tommy Rogers. Rogers hits a cross body and tags in Fulton. It’s weird that the Sheepherders/Bushwhackers look just alike when they’re apparently not related. I can’t tell them apart, and the announcers don’t bother to identify them. Sheepherders beat up Fulton. Okay, so Luke Williams is apparently the blond one and Butch Miller is the one with the bald spot. Fulton and Luke fight outside, then Morgan accidentally clothesline Luke. Rogers tags in and runs wild on Luke. Clusterfuck ensues and the Fantastics sends the Sheepherders out of the ring. Butch comes in and beats up Rogers. Luke tags in and does the same. Rogers avoids a shot to make the Sheepherders collide, then makes the tag to Fulton. Fulton ends up in the wrong corner quick and ends up playing face in peril just like his partner just did. Fulton hits a cross body on both of them for 2, then the Fantastics take turns splashing them for 2. Isn’t only 1 of them legal? The Sheepherders bail again. Rogers tags in and works Butch’s arm. The Sheepherders get Rogers outside and hit him with one of the belts, then with a chair. Luke covers Rogers and bites the bottom rope for some reason. Luke hits a splash on Rogers for 2. Butch accidentally hits Luke with a diving double axe handle. Butch tags in. Rogers hits him with a clothesline. Butch hits a knee lift and something else for 2. Luke tags in and applies a sleeper hold. Luke continues to beat on Rogers. Rogers sends Luke into a chair held by Butch on the apron. Fulton gets the hot tag and runs wild. Fulton gets Luke with a reverse cradle for the pin (about 18 minutes shown). Okay match. Kind of hard to follow. Heel Bushwhackers was fun though. I had never seen the Sheepherders before.

Next, the Garvins vs. The Varsity Club! Commercials!

“Dr. Death” Steve Williams (in a suit!) has joined Tony Schiavone for commentary for the next match. They talk about the beat down of Lex Luger.

Intros for the Varsity Club/Garvins match, then TO THE BACK!

Jim Ross promises an update on Lex Luger soon. The show FOOTAGE of what happened EARLIER TONIGHT!

More commercials! I actually remember those Folgers commercials.

The Varsity Club of NWA World Television Champion Mike Rotunda & Rick Steiner (w/ Kevin Sullivan) vs. Ron & Jimmy Garvin (w/ Precious). Kevin Sullivan is locked in a cage. They’re already brawling. I THINK I heard a bell. Ron beats up Steiner. Jimmy tags in and works Steiner’s arm. Steiner bails to consult with Sullivan. Sullivan tries to get Precious to come over to him. Rotunda tags in. He and Jimmy trade fireman’s carrys. Ron tags in and wrestles with Rotunda. Sullivan has some paper he wants to show Precious. Steiner tags in and works Ron’s arm. Precious slowly goes towards Sullivan, but Jimmy retrieves her. Rotunda works Ron’s arm. Jimmy goes and yells at Sullivan for aggravating Precious. Precious has the key to Sullivan’s cage. Varsity Club continue working over Ron. Ron fights Steiner off and makes the tag to Jimmy. Jimmy does stuff, then tags Ron back in. Ron gets various cradles on Steiner for 2. Ron tries a sunset flip on Rotunda. Rotunda grabs the ropes to avoid it, but Teddy Long kicks his arms away. Steiner saves anyway. Rotunda hits a back body drop and a leg drop and otherwise beats up him, including choking him with a rope or something behind the referee’s back. Rotunda holds Ron in front of the cage so Sullivan can punch him. Clusterfuck ensues. Precious goes over to Sullivan’s cage and he grabs her. Jimmy pins Steiner in about 13 minutes. Sullivan kisses Precious and tries to choke her. Steve Williams saves Precious from Sullivan. Precious gets away from Sullivan and shoves Jimmy and leaves. This was all about the stupid angle. Match was sort of okay, though.

Commercials.

Schiavone and Caudle talk. They show the Powers of Pain and Ivan Koloff attacking The Road Warriors a while back. They talk about the upcoming retarded Tower of Doom Match at the Great American Bash.

Al Perez (w/ Gary Hart) vs. Nikita Koloff. They lock up and shove each other around. Perez wrings Nikita’s arm. Nikita takes Perez over and works his arm in return. They finally break that up, lock up again, and do nothing much. Koloff accidentally hits his shoulder on the turnbuckle. Perez kicks him out of the ring to Hart and get his cheap shots in. Koloff tires of that shit and goes after Hart, but Perez attacks him from behind and slams him on the concrete floor. Perez tries to suplex Nikita in from the apron, but Nikita lands on top for 2. Nikita goes for an elbow drop, but misses. Perez continues to beat on Nikita. Nikita tries a springboard sunset flip, but Perez back walks across the ring into the ropes. Never seen that one before. Perez tries a suplex, but Nikita reverses it and suplexes Perez. Nikita makes his comeback and shoulder blocks Perez out of the ring. Hart distracts Nikita, then Larry Zbyszko attacks Nikita to cause the DQ in 11:51. The heels leave Nikita laying. The match was boring.

The World Tag Team Championship match is NEXT!

NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard (c) (w/ JJ Dillon) vs. Dusty Rhodes & Sting. Anderson and Sting start. Anderson goes after the arm, but Sting doesn’t sell it. After a brief break outside, Arn comes back in and beats up Sting, then throws him out of the ring and tries to clothesline him against the post. Sting moves and Arn clotheslines the post. Sting wraps the arm around the post, then brings Arn back in and works his arm. Tully comes in and Sting hits him with a headscissors, then tags in Dusty. Dusty does the flip, flop, & fly on Tully, then decks Arn too. Florida loves Dusty for obvious reasons. The Horsemen get the advantage on Dusty. Dillon chokes Dusty behind the referee’s back. Dusty drops Tully with a lariat and a dropkick, of all things, then makes the tag to Sting. Sting press slams Tully, then whips him into the corner and hits the Stinger Splash. Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock, but Arn isn’t having any of that shit. Horsemen beat up Sting on the outside. Anderson beats up Sting in the ring and goes for a Vader Bomb, but Sting gets his knees up. Sting continues to play face in peril. Arn DDTs Sting on the concrete floor! Dillon throws Sting back in the ring. Tully covers, but Teddy Long takes too damn long to count. Dusty gets the hot tag and runs wild on everybody, including Dillon. Dusty hits a big elbow drop on Anderson, but Tully saves. Sting takes out Tully, then tosses Teddy Long. Sting and Tully brawl outside while Dusty and Arn brawl inside. Dusty shoves the referee too. Barry Windham attacks Dusty and the ref calls for the DQ in 11:01. Windham puts the claw on Dusty. Horsemen beat down Dusty. Commercials. I assume it’s a double DQ. Really good match, though. Arn & Tully were so awesome.

Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, and Bob Caudle are at ringside. Ross promises an update on Lex Luger this coming Saturday.

Credits.

Okay show, but I hated the way they would do intros for matches, then cut to the back. That’s some TNA shit.