how to love yourself

This is part 2 of a two part series, if you missed the first part, be sure to check it out : Taking Care of Yourself

The world moves fast.

Scientifically speaking maybe not so much, but mentally and emotionally speaking, the world and the days seem to move at the speed of light sometimes. The other day I paid my house’s monthly bills and had to double check something wasn’t wrong because I was convinced I paid them 5 days ago. Nope, it was 29 days ago. Horrible example, but it is a reality.

A terrifying reality as well because it seems like the days and the moments can just slip through our hands if we don’t stay cognizant.

With how jam-packed our schedules are it is also incredibly easy to fall into a routine and simply move through the days on a conveyor belt (shout out to Julia for that term). So, today I want to get you thinking about where you stand with this in your life and how you can be more present each and every day.

This post was inspired by a label I was reading on my (shocker) new workout clothes (end shocker) from PrAna.

I personally love PrAna brand because they fit in all the right areas to stay in place while CrossFitting and running, and they are comfortable. And major win, they are adorable enough that I wear them to class and essentially be wearing real people clothes for once.

15% of all PrAna clothes with FFCTF17

15% off with FFCTF17

PrAna strives for the small details in their clothing to give back to the world and show the planet some love. Their clothing is sustainable, fair-trade, recyclable, Bluesign certified, and made with hemp. Their pieces are also mindfully made to support sustainable practices, as well as tested on all forms of activity. I don’t usually stop and think about these things, and I think that is why I did this time when reading the label because for the first time in a while…

I realized how easily I get removed from being one with the world.

Whether it be from getting caught up in school, work, CrossFit, blogging, or the million others things to do, the first thing that seems to go is my connection with the world as a whole. It’s actually kind of funny, the day after I had this realization I was walking to class and noticed an incredibly deformed and beautiful tree RIGHT outside my house that I had never noticed before.

It’s little things like that that often scare me about how fast paced our world has become. On the brighter note, the world is going nowhere, so it is never too late to learn how to stop and smell the roses (cliche aside).

No phone when walking. This mostly applies to between, before, and after classes, but instead of going on IG or checking my email, I simply walk with my head up.

Get fresh air. Bring your studying outside while you can! Walk to your friends house instead of drive. Sit on your porch for just 5 minutes. Do anything to get out of the stiff library, or office, air every few hours.

Pop a squat once a week. Literally, devote to yourself 30 minutes each week to go find a nice rock or patch of grass and chill. I was frantically doing work on a bench outside on campus a few weeks ago and witnessed a kid do this. He just sat there staring out at the overlooking city (Cornell is on a big hill) for 10-20 minutes with the largest smile on his face, just BEING. I have tried to do it ever since.

Be good to the world. See an empty bottle on the ground, throw it away. This does so much more than keep the world clean, it gives you that sense of connection to the world. And check out brands like PrAna that give back to the world and the people in it.

Here is the page I read that got me thinking about what this post was all about, it’s all about how PrAna fits into our lives by giving back to the world.

It seems like lately I have been having more and more conversations with people in which they mention that “they are a certain way and know it’s bad to be that way”. Or something similar along the lines of trying to be something they aren’t because they think how they actually are is not correct, or accepted.

This kills me.

Trust me, I get the whole doing certain things to make others happy every now and then; but, never do I think it is okay to compromise who you truly are, and want to be, because you think it’s not right.

That is utter bullshit.

The beauty of humanity is that we are all who we are. We are born into our bodies and given full control of how we use them and how we use our minds. And on top of that, full control is given to us, absolutely nobody outside of yourself decides who you become.

So, you are right. Who you want to be is right. Why? Because you are the one with the command center for your life.

I don’t mean go do you 24/7 and wreck the world, I mean

If you feel a certain way, you should feel that way

If you want to make a certain choice, you should make that choice

If you want to focus on certain things, you should focus on those things

If you want to ignore certain things, you should ignore certain things

If you want to love something, you should love that thing

If you want to hate something, HECK you should hate that thing

Because in the end it is not worth it to ignore your heart and your mind. Life is too short to live for others. Live for yourself.

After seeing the length of this post, I’ve decided to make it into a two part series. The second part will be posted on Nov. 3! (& linked here once it is, so if it is past Nov 3. you’re in luck!)

Taking Care of Yourself && Being Present in The World

Taking Care of Yourself

5 Ways (you haven’t thought of) To Show Yourself Some Love

Silence the voice in your head that denies your emotions.

If you want to cry, CRY, do not for a second tell yourself that you shouldn’t. If you are frustrated about a situation, give yourself permission to be feel that frustration for a hot sec, do not cover it up and pretend like you’re okay when you are not. If not expressed, these emotions will pile up and they will come back to get you.

Learn to share your life.

This one may seem weird but take it from a person who has the highest walls built around herself– life is meant to be shared. I don’t necessarily mean with a partner, I mean on a smaller scale. Take your headphones out and talk to someone on the way to class. Call your family every few days and talk about 3 things you are grateful for. See a dope tree (?) and show your roommate. As someone who loves to be alone, I also believe there is truly something beautiful and beneficial in sharing experiences with others especially on a mini daily scale.

5 minutes a day alone.

One the other end of the spectrum as the one above… promise to give yourself 5-10 minutes alone every day. Spend this time however you please but make sure to have no music, you want to focus on being alone with your thoughts.

Have to Get to

Whenever you catch yourself saying ‘I have to do ___’. Stop and immediately re-word to say ‘ I get to do __ ‘. For me,

I get to wake up at 530am every morning and go to my awesome CrossFit gym with incredible people. I get to do hours on end of coursework that I love. I get to pull all nighters every now and then to submit code projects for a career I genuinely enjoy. I get to struggle with things sometimes and learn about myself.

The list goes on and on. But, rewording all of my have to’s like this really allows me to see and appreciate the beauty in my life that I could easily overlook on a daily basis.

Forgive yourself and others.

We are all human, and that’s the end of the story. People can do shitty things, especially without realizing it–heck, I’m sure I have! But, as hard as it is to do sometimes, learn how to forgive. I’m not saying to compromise your beliefs or allow people to walk all over you in the slightest, what I mean is to accept what happened as the past and move forward in whatever way seems right to you while forgiving. Do not ever allow anyone to give you a heavy heart, they don’t deserve that and they don’t have that power.

Stay tuned on Nov. 3 for the next part to this series. OR, if you haven’t already, you can join my monthly email with content just like this on the regggg –

Bonus monthly email: workouts, health, happiness and more!

Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Earlier

One thing I have been struggling with lately is the difference between saying and doing. When you say you are taking a nap, it isn’t true until you actually lie down, close your eyes, and sleep for a period of time. It is the same idea with all thoughts and actions. I can say I love myself, but do I actually? How am I showing myself that I do? This has been on my mind for quite a while, so today I want to share 3 practices I wish I learned earlier(!) that truly do make us honor ourselves and show that self love FO REAL.

Self Love Practice #1

Give only when you are full

We are a generation of good-ists; we always want to give give give. We tend to always care what people think of us so we are always offering, and being the person there for everything and everyone. But, far too often, we focus so much on this constant giving to others and working to satisfy others that we lose ourselves and ignore what we need in the process. Taking care of yourself is absolutely NOT selfish– in fact, it is your number one priority.

You, me, we– all need to focus on filling ourselves with what we need before moving to others. When we don’t do this, we compromise our happiness, and often times, our health.

Self Love Practice #2

Set attainable goals, not past-reach goals

I do believe in shooting for the stars however, I believe this only for the long run. Think about it this way: if you are constantly setting daily goals that you cannot reach, what does that do to your confidence and eagerness to keep moving towards your goals? Little to nothing. There is no rush of confidence or acknowledgement of progress when you fall short regularly.

Instead, yes go ahead and set a long term shooting for the stars goals; but, in the meantime, set mini goals that you know for a fact that you can accomplish. Even more importantly, celebrate these accomplishments.

One of the best things I have done for myself is wake up each morning, roll over, and write a goal down for the day that I know I can accomplish and that will set me further on the path to reaching my longer term goal. I do this before I even leave my bed.

Self Love Practice #3

Treat yourself like you would a best friend, not your worst enemy

Over the past year, I have been analyzing what I say to myself, and DAMN, I am not nice to myself. If I treated a friend like I treat myself, they would not be a friend for long. And, I know I am not the only one who does this. We are all our own worst enemy, but why? Why do we criticize every ounce of our being? What purpose is there in it? No reason, and none.

The mentality I have adopted is if I wouldn’t say something that I am thinking about to myself to my best friend about her, I will not say it to myself. Simple as that.

I have more tips and practices coming for you all soon, so keep checking back and in the mean time be sure to follow my FACEBOOK page where I am posting more ~daily~ tidbits.

Stay strong, stay fit, stay beautiful

PS. A few more personal training spots have opened up since school has ended for me! Head over -> here <- for details, would LOVE to help you reach your goals.

Dear Confused Millennial,

In part 1, we acknowledged that it is hard, it can even be terrifying to have uncertainty and confusion about our futures. And then, I told you the number one thing we can do to make this uncertainty easier for us.

The best thing you can do, the best thing we can do, is let go of the fear and the worry, let go of the future and be in the now, say YES to what we were put here to do… LIVE. Be in the very moment, and do what your heart desires at every given opportunity. Because when we do that, we unknowingly are allowing our futures to fall into place. — part 1

Today is all about actually DOING this: saying ‘yes’, living for the moment, listening to our bodies & our hearts.

On top of the world

As a confused millennium myself, I know this can be extremely hard, to say the least, so here are my top tips for you.

How To Live In The Moment & Chase Your Happiness

The moment you have right now is the only one you can change.

Live in the very moment. You can’t change the future until you are there and you can’t rewrite the past. So, live in this very moment and do not let your worries about the future affect your now.

Forgive and forget the past.

Do not beat yourself up about what has happened in the past. Hear me when I say that everything happens for a reason. You went through what you did for a reason, instead of letting it bring your present down, use it to build you up.

Stop trying to predict the future, create it instead.

If your heart is telling you to pursue something, but you are thinking to yourself “oh, well that’s not what my family would expect me to pursue” or “I don’t know if I have the skills for that”, shut your thoughts down and TRY. For gosh sake, you don’t know until you try, stop trying to predict the future, and create it instead. Now, I don’t mean go out and do something that puts yourself or others at harm. Rather, I mean stop letting your fear of not satisfying others get in the way of doing what you truly and utterly desire to do.

When you fall down, get right back up- mentally, and physically.

Honestly, falling down is GOOD; you learn many lessons, you develop a deeper understanding, you become a tougher being. The only way falling down becomes negative is when you stay down and lay there like a sad puppy. No, no, no. Respect yourself to laugh it off, get up and come back stronger.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Again, respect yourself enough to not make excuses. Sh!t happens, it does. Don’t waste time making excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, decide what your heart wants, and take it.

Confused millennial, let’s do this.

Here’s a fun little savable image you can use to remind yourself of these tips regularly. Feel free to PIN to share & help me enter the pinterest scene. >> Colby on Pinterest

PS. I want to help you conquer your YouMakeYou journey? Check out my 21 Day Power Up! I am offering 25% off during this dear confused millennial series with the code: letsdothis

I hit a mental wall today. Actually, I hit a mental wall about three days ago but had to keep pushing that wall away until after my physics exam last night.

My mental wall

was a lot. It was end of semester finals stress. It was living situation stress. It was the gradual losing myself and my values since school has started. It was the fact that I’ve put up barriers around myself and refuse to let anyone in. It was the fact that I haven’t been able to run since my marathon due to an overuse injury in my knee. The wall was a lot.

There is always time for yourself.

I woke up today and realized that I need to start taking my own advice–honoring myself, my mind and my body. Despite the fact that I still have 3 more exams to go and 2 more projects, honestly despite any deadline I might have, there is always time to honor myself, I know this. And, I preach this. But, over the past month I have been letting life pull me away from this, I have been letting life drag me along without allowing me to hold onto myself.

The thing is, that ^ is so easy to let happen, I’ve witnessed it first hand, I didn’t realize what was happening until about 3 days ago when I took a second to stop and breathe.

After trying to push that wall along with me for 3 days, my mom’s voice popped into my head….

Remember, there is a door on every wall.

She said this to me right before my marathon, and boy did I hit many walls that day, but this applies to more than just the running wall, this applies to any wall. Walls don’t discriminate, walls don’t have some sort of methodological way to decide if they want to give you a door or not, they just do. End of story.

So, today I decided to drop everything for a few hours and find that door. I left my school brain behind which was tough, but I knew it would be there when I got back, and more importantly, I knew I would be much more refreshed therefore able to easily make up for the lost time. Heck, my focus had become non-existent anyway!

How I got past my mental wall:

10 am

I got in my car, and I drove, I got on the main highway near me that I knew ended up near some trails, and I drove. For me, even simply driving for hours on end would do well; I plug in my phone, blast my happy playlist, and spend time thinking. However, I knew I wanted to move.

10:30 am-12:00 pm

I arrived at Taughannock Falls State Park which is essentially a multitude of hiking trails through the woods surrounding waterfalls. I got out of my car and spent about an hour or so hiking the Rim Trail. It was stunning, it was peaceful, it was refreshing. But most of all, it gave me the much needed time to unplug from the world and just think. It gave me time to mentally work through the immense pile of everything that was upsetting and challenging me but that I had just pushed aside out of rushing through my days.

Funny story about unplugging…I literally and physically unplugged. On the hike back up, I pulled out my phone to call my dad and then reached into my coat pocket for the headphones I always kept there. However, they weren’t there so I assumed I left them in my car. Little did I know.. I walked a few minutes further up the hill and my headphones were lying on the ground in the middle of the trail. LOL talk about unplugging.

Somewhere in the midst of my hike I found the door in the wall, and climbed through it. I felt refreshed, I felt alive, I felt like me again.

Call me crazy, but I love being alone.

Yes I love my friends to death, but ever since going away to college last year the one thing that I have missed most is the ability to be alone with myself. I need that time, I enjoy that time. Honestly, I could sit in a dining hall all by myself and be completely fine with it.

Not only do I enjoy being alone but after today I realize that I need to be alone sometimes. Hiking through the trails with not single sense of another being around me gave me the long needed ability to work through a lot.

12:30pm

On the drive back I was feeling so light and unstressed I decided to stop at a local cafe for a (treat yourself because 5 fucking dollars) latte and crossword puzzle hour. This may not sound like a lot, but looking back over the past 5 months, I don’t think I could pinpoint a time where I just

did something to do something,

where I did something of little to no life/school progression value because of the sheer stress that taking a break causes me. For me, stopping for coffee just to do so is a big step.

Now, after my little self meeting adventure, I am back in the library, Thai food on my left, tea on my right, best friend across from me singing every lyric of every damn song he is listening to, and studying for finals.

Sure, I could be like the usual me freaking out about every second missed in the library, but I am not. I am more productive right now because of how I spent my morning than I have been all year.

And, most importantly, I feel happier and more in tune with myself. No, I didn’t magically cross through that wall in a few hours, it will take time, but I have a great start on the road to where I want to be.

Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself,

when things aren’t going the way they should. Don’t be afraid to take a step back and evaluate where you are. Don’t be afraid to say AYO PEACE to the world for a few hours and only care about yourself.

You deserve it.

PS. Confused at where to start? Start my 21 Day Power Up that is on sale for only $6 right now!

I’m sitting in my favorite cafe on campus, thinking about how much I’ve changed over the past two-ish years in college. I don’t know what spurred me to do this, but it excites me. I find it so easy to get wrapped up in the speed of life and the comfort of routine. This is actually one of the changes I have made. Before college, I was always so routine based. I knew what I liked, I knew what I had to do, I found what worked for me, and I kept doing it. I didn’t like last minute changes, I didn’t like other people affecting my plans. With the monotonous schedule of school I, more often than not, did the exact same thing every day. I grew to love my routine to the point where I couldn’t fathom making a change any given day. After going away to college, I have begun to not live without a schedule, but live without a rigid routine. I say ‘yes’ to things I would have said ‘no’ to before out of refusal to leave my routine. I enjoy spontaneity. I am able to learn so much more about myself and experience the world greater than before just because I am open to it. By simply giving up my type-A schedule based mindset, I have begun the have some of the best experiences of my life.

This isn’t the only change I have made with myself over the past few years…

+ I stopped doing things because I thought I should and started doing things because I wanted to.

+ I started establishing and recognizing what is important to me.

+ I gave up the belief that I had to be doing work every second of every day.

+ And, I gave up the belief that life is a race to what you will become.

If I was to wrap all of these changes up in one point, it would be that I started to get to know and trust myself, and I realized that the most important thing for me, and for you in your life, is to let yourself be the center of your life. It is not selfish. We all have one life to live, we can’t waste is concerned about what others think, we can’t waste it hiding in fear, we can’t waste it programmed to a routine of comfort, we need to spend it chasing our own happiness.

Current status: sitting in the library stacks, top floor, most quiet study place on campus, blasting Gasolina in my headphones. So contradictory, so contradictory. I’ve also been here for seven hours now so I may blame it on restlessness and boredom. But at the same time I like to think I am productive with upbeat music, it pumps me up to do work, you know?

The inspiration for this week’s blog post comes from living in my sorority house this year and experiencing vastly different types of mindsets on a daily basis.

I preach individualism and personal awareness: knowing what works for you and what YOU want. I know everyone is different, I know everyone has different things that work for them (peep– Gasolina) but I do believe there are some things that are true for everyone that need to be remembered.

HEY, remind yourself of these daily:

You are where you are for a reason. You can either look back and ask why or look forward and use your past to help you grow and chase your dreams. Everything happens for a reason.

You can do anything. This is it. This is the one life you were granted. It is yours to create, take the power.

Everything is a choice. Realize that you have the final say as to if something affects you, or if you do something. You have the final say as to where you end up. Nothing is out of your control. Your mind is more powerful than anything in the world in terms of your own life. Click here to start my 21 Day Power Up.

The perfect time is now. There is no better time to make a change, try something new, or chase your dreams than the present. Stop waiting for this or that, the perfect time is now. Don’t worry about what has happened up until this point, don’t think about what is to come in the future, instead ask yourself what you can do with this very moment.

There is no reason to worry. You absolutely do not need the answers to everything, you do not need to be liked by everyone, etc. Do not worry about these things. Stay true to yourself, know where you want to end up, live for that and you will get there.

The inspiration for this blog post– of which I am typing in Microsoft Word HEYO no WiFi— is that I just watched the movie How to Be Single and it was actually wonderful. I am not sure how much that means considering I don’t ever watch movies, but still. TRUTH TIME: I have never seen all the Harry Potters, The Titanic, or The Notebook, basically I have never seen anything. Movies kind of stress me out.

But, I am writing this on a 9 hour plane ride and they have these cool TV’s on the seat in front of me, so I figured watching a movie would be a bit more enticing than staring out the window at clouds passing.
Has anyone else seen How to Be Single?! What did you think? Let me know in the comments.

Side note.. the food they plopped in front of is really starting to freak me out, it’s just staring at me and I can visibly count 3 different kinds of dairy so far: butter, cheese slice (?) and coffee cream. Lactose intolerance is not a fan at the moment. And I would also like to go to the restroom, but can’t quite figure out how to get out around this tray. UGH OK RANT OVER.

How To Be Single is a comedy about a young woman’s journey to loving herself independent of whomever she is with. This really got me thinking not only about how important it is to love yourself but how hard it can be in our world today to do so. I preach the YouMakeYou® mindset of realizing that you only get one life to live and that is the life that you create for yourself. You have full control, full power, full ability to achieve anything you want, you just have to take it. And, that is the hardest part– realizing that the power exists and is yours to take. I am not crazy, I know it is much easier said than done but loving and respecting yourself is one of the key steps you need to take. When you do this, you have a deeper understanding of who you are and what you want. You stop having the fear of what other people think. You put yourself first, and THAT is what allows you to take the power to control all aspects of your life. This self-love and demolition of fear is something I focus on in my 21 Day Power Up: a step by step guide to conquering the YMY mindset.

I want to give you some brief tips and tricks to get you started along your journey:

• If you wouldn’t say to another person what you are thinking, or saying to yourself, you should not be saying it. Stop being so critical.
• Ask ‘why not?’ instead of ‘why?’. You do not need thorough reasoning for every single thing you do—listen to your heart and go where it takes you without thinking through a perfect reasoning. Value your heart and it’s opinion. Stop questioning yourself.
• The very first person you should be worried about is yourself. Always. You need to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. This is one of the things we focus on in the 21 Day Power Up as well—it is not selfish, it is RIGHT. Think about it like this: the happier you are, the more positive vibes you put out into the world, and the more positive vibes you put out, the more you inspire other people to do the same. It is the law of attraction: like attracts like.

• In the same light, stop worrying about what other people think. In my 21 Day Power Up, I refer to this as ego and you should not let it hold you back. You get ONE life to live & that is the life YOU choose to create, do not let someone else dictate that for you. Defeat ego. Defeat fear. And own your life.
• Embrace, appreciate, and admire everything about yourself. You are where you currently are for a reason, every single part of you—body and mind—is what is supposed to be this very moment. Embrace that, appreciate that, and admire that. Know that YOU are the best person in the world at being YOU and that is something to celebrate. Always.

I want to know:
What is your favorite part about yourself? I think it is immensely important to not only know yourself, but know what you love about yourself. My favorite part of my physical self is definitely my hair! My favorite part of myself inside is my strong will.