Day 16: Breaking Through in Order to Dive Deep

In this 30-days to Mastering Your Fears Series, The Skool of Life and The Fear Project are collaborating to blow the doors off our most primal emotion. Today my substitute teacher is Sandi Amorim

Remember the fearless days of childhood, feeling that you could do anything? ‎

We forget that as adults, and let fear stop us.

It stops us from things like:

Expressing ourselves

Going after what we want

Talking to that hottie across the room

And everyone’s favourite, public speaking

Those things however, are not what your brain was designed to fear.

Somewhere along the way everything became about survival and belonging, for to be cast out of the tribe was certain death.

Human beings have learned their lessons well:

We play it safe.

We avoid things that might be dangerous.

And we do things (or not do them) to belong to the tribe.

We become, as Jamail Yogis writes in The Fear Project, dominated by our fears.

That’s how this being human thing works, and that’s how it’s worked forever. This made sense back in the day of Neanderthal man and sabre toothed tigers, but now?

Not so much.

How Fear Takes Over

Something happens.

My family used to go to the lake a lot in the summer, and I remember the joy of it. My cousins and I were fearless; swimming and having a great time diving off the dock.

Until one time I slipped, lost my footing, and tumbled head first into the water. I don’t actually remember much after that, but if I close my eyes and go back in time I can feel the tightness in my chest and my head starts to ache. It doesn’t take much and I’m back there in the panic of the moment.

The fear takes hold.

Not being able to breathe became the fear that lingered, and it showed up in how and where I swam and even in how I breathe. Sounds bizarre I know, but I often find myself holding my breath or breathing shallow.

That childhood incident opened the door to fear, and while not completely paralyzing, it held me back in many ways over the years.

Fast forward to present day.

The Breakthrough

Weird thing is, even with that near drowning in my past I’ve always loved the ocean, and scuba diving has long been one of those things I’d love to do someday, especially after my first trip to Maui last year.

And so whenever I had the thought that I might like to try it, my lizard brain would freak out…

WTF, me learn how to scuba dive? That’s crazy talk! I only like swimming in pools and even then I keep one eye on the sides.

Yet there I was dreaming of scuba diving; secretly of course, as I couldn’t admit this desire to anyone.

But life has a way of poking our fears, sometimes in the perfect way.

“We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings.” ― Audre Lorde

My good friend Jason Sugar became a coach and PADI dive instructor, and one day I got an email announcing a new program he’d created (for scaredy cats like me!) and he asked if I wanted to take part in the first run.