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Well, you foolish ones, when you believe such obvious lies, this naivete only serves to Feed the Dragon. (And my mother-in-law doesn't need to eat any more than she already does so knock it off.)

You fools. You are like sheep accepting this pablum just because they feed it to you. Sure. Sure. These Air Traffic Control Centers do control aviation, I mean, that is the most fiendish part of their insidious nature. BUT, and it is a BIG BUTT (And I'm not calling anyone fat.) that isn't all they control.

Now, after you check those sources, and keep an open mind...which is the key thing...the scales will fall from your eyes and you will finally see.

These supposed Air Traffic Control Centers do control aircraft, but they also control......TRAFFIC.

There, I've said it. Now I will prove it to you.

Have you noticed that, when you're in a hurry, there always seems to be a slower driver in front of you? And have you noticed that, so often, this car just suddenly pulls out in your lane out of nowhere?

Have you ever noticed the car with the turn signal on and driving for miles and miles and miles and it's obvious that he isn't turning but...that signal remains on forever?

Have you ever noticed the raggedy import with all the stickers on it driving exactly the speed limit in fast lane? (Okay, sometimes that is me, but in the vast majority of cases, it is not.)

Have you ever noticed that, when you are in a hurry that the light will turn red just in time to stop you, even if no one is waiting to cross in the other direction?

All these years, you've just made the assumption that this is just the sort of random stuff that happens. Well remember, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption.

No, the truth is more frightening than you ever imagined. The supposed Air Traffic Control Centers are, in fact, arranging to put those slow cars in front of you, and turning the light red just as you get to it.

And why, you may ask, why why why would They go to all the trouble to do this? Why are these dark sinister unseen Forces impeding your progress and frustrating your travel?

Because it makes no sense at all.

Parsimonious and elegant. Brilliant. Just Brilliant.

And what proof, you may ask, do I have that this Evil exists? What proof can I offer to demonstrate that They are perpetrating this horror on us?

It is quite simple: Search the Internets. Search the libraries. Search the universities and think tanks. Try to find one book, one article, one study, one sentence, one word or syllable about this fiendish plot. You will fail, because no such article or study or anything else about it exists.

And that complete lack of corroboration of this monstrosity is absolute proof positive that it does indeed exist, and is making us late for our appointments, and causing us to load our pants when we can't quite make it to the restroom.

Open your eyes. There are none so blind as those who will not see. (Except for those who are actually legally blind of course.)

Come on. Do you think this guy gets in front of you every time by accident?