5 Things R.A.s Want To Tell Their Residents

Dear Residents,

So, it is my first year, my first semester, as a Resident Assistant and man, have I learned some things. I’ve learned a lot about myself, others, life, and you guys. I didn’t really to expect to learn so much so quickly, but boy, have I. I now know what it’s like to be a R.A. and a resident, so I have been in your shoes, too. Here’s a list of things pretty much every R.A. wants to tell their residents.

1. Please appreciate the door decs, I mean, door decorations, that we did for you.

I cringe when I see a door dec on the floor disregarded. Also, the bulletin boards. Please love them, we really want you to. Everything we do for you guys requires a lot of time and effort so please put that into consideration, thanks.

2. PLEASE COME TO OUR PROGRAMS.

We have to do them but we try to make them fun because we don’t want to go to a boring program, either. Also, there is free food. Let me repeat that, FREE FOOD. Don’t help yourself though, we have a budget we have to work with and other residents we want to feed. I had a resident help herself to papers plates, like excuse me, need them. If we don’t use them all in one program, we will be using them for the next one. I mean, I know it’s hard out here but dang!

3. Can you guys behave?

This isn’t for all residents, but some of you are just too much! How about you just don’t smoke weed in your room? Is that too much to ask for? Just don’t. Make our lives and your life easier. We smell it and we really don’t feel like calling campus police and writing an incident report, but you give us no choice. Please stop. Also, you make things WAY harder for yourself when we knock on your door just to tell you to turn down your music but you whisper to your friends, “R.A.! R.A.!” We can hear you and it’s telling us you’re doing stuff you’re not supposed to. Not the smartest move to make. Neither is cursing us out. Not a good idea. Like the great Julia Roberts once said, “Big mistake, big. HUGE.”

4. No hard feelings if we have to write you up.

We don’t get to live on campus for free just to chill and do nothing. We have to enforce our school’s policies. It’s our job.

5. Please stop forgetting your keys.

Lock outs are SERIOUSLY THE WORST. When you knock on my door, I’ve probably already taken my bra off for the day but now, you knocked and need me and I have to put the damn thing back on.