Tuesday, April 10, 2007

E=MCf In Layman Terms

Once in school I was curious about all this talk about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. I checked out a book to see if I could figure out what in the world they were talking about.

The first paragraph of the book said that the simplest way to describe the Theory of Relativity was to imagine you were on a bus standing up holding on to a bar or a strap or whatever you hold onto when the bus is moving.

Now, lets say the bus is going about 35 to 40 MPH. If the bus driver suddenly puts on his brakes and stops suddenly your body, not so anchored will want to keep on going forward. If you let go of what you are holding onto just before the bus driver puts on his brakes you will probably be thrust forward until you can gain control of your stance.

You also were going between the speed of 35 and 40 MPH, the same as the bus. Then suddenly the bus was going 0 MPH and your body still was in the inertial energy to continue at the same rate of speed.

If you had a flashlight with you and you shined it up front of the bus the light beam is not only going the speed of light but it is going the speed of light plus the speed of the bus… maybe the speed of light plus 37 MPH?

You got the basics of the Theory of Relativity down pat?

Okay, now here is another example I did not get out of a book but somebody actually told me happened to him. This was after I read the first few pages of the book I mentioned above. In fact, the first few pages is all I read, it got a little bit too complicated after that.

Anyway, this guy named James was walking towards somebody at a fairly good rate of speed. He was flatulencing in a fluttering sort of way as he walked. Lets say the person he was walking towards was named Larry. Then, within six or eight feet before he reached Larry, Thomas over to one side spoke to him and he stopped to speak to Thomas.

Then, a few seconds later Larry said, “Good God! Who shit!?

What had happened was that James stopped but he was in a state of flatulency as he walked, and the smell was traveling with him, so when he stopped the odor kept on moving like a big dark cloud towards Larry and smothered him.