The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Top Tories Vie For Approval In The Fuehrer's Bunker.

Nicholas Soames pictured above, grandson of Sir Winston Churchill and widely regarded as a member of the Tory party's "old guard" has today resigned from the influential 1922 Committee. He was forced to do so because he thinks that David Cameron is an idiot, which is true, and because Cameron's admirers want the criticism by the "old guard" of their leader to stop. As the country sinks ever deeper into economic disaster and the enemy, just about everyone who doesn't vote Tory out of habit or sheer idiocy, is approaching from all sides, Cameron has slammed shut the idea-proof door of his bunker while his admirers vie for his approval as the world around them disintegrates into rubble and dust. Hitler, in the end, shot himself. So has Cameron, though only in the foot. Perhaps Rebekah Brookes will now pick up the still-smoking gun and finish the job.