NOTE

As I continue to work on things away from this blog (which is a collection of Free-Time/Casual Online Writing, Remarks, And Notes By ME Whelan) and continue to figure out what goes and what stays of my existing online-writing, the de-emphasizing of one or another continues as well....

Friday, May 29, 2015

So Many Things Take Longer To Heal Than Some Would Expect

August 5, 2014 It was years ago now that some lady on the Internet said how it had been a year since she lost her husband, and how before she'd become a widow she always knew how awful it must be to lose one's spouse. She said, however, that a year after losing her own husband she would never again underestimate how bad it really was; because before she found herself in that situation she simply hadn't realized/understood exactly what kind of things people deal with when they do. That's kind of how it is with everything (particularly the bad stuff, but also the good stuff in life). We can "only imagine" (and sometimes, maybe, imagine accurately - sort of, maybe). Still, all the tiny little stuff that one goes through when dealing with anything (big, small, good, bad) is often not what others can truly understand (or at least have a slightly better idea about than if they didn't have some similar/comparable experience. Even then, though, there are individual differences that make one experience completely (or at least sort of) different between different individuals. If there's one thing that I've figured out in life it's that when it comes to some of the more serious and/or complicated experiences (whether that's something like grief or something like a serious and/or complicated medical condition/injury; it's that things generally take a lot longer to heal than those who experience them think they should, thought they would, or hoped they would. That's something we learn when experience some of those things in life. But, as we experience them we also figure out how to get through them AND how, even if they take longer than we thought we can usually see slow improvement (slower than we want, but improvement nonetheless). That all is, as they say, how it is. The real challenge for people can be, though, that while they manage their way through whatever process there is in getting over something and/or healing; the real problem isn't always the impatience of the person going though something/getting past something. The complicating and difficult part of getting through a bad time or past a bad experience, or healing from some medical issues isn't really even the frustrating, disappointing, or challenging discovery that healing takes longer than the person going through it wanted or thought it should; but that others around him who haven't gone through the same thing tend to think healing and moving on and "getting-past" are taking longer than they should - which amounts to judging what one knows little or nothing about (or even "over-imagining" /"mis-imagining" one thing or another about the experience/situation). And so, while the individual going through the thing himself can see slow and steady progress, he must deal with the schedule or time limit that someone else (who doesn't know enough about the experience/problem) has deemed "ought to have done it" for the person who "should have been over it" or "more over it" than he is. Strong, capable, self-assured, people can find this challenging but may know enough to kind of withdraw from anyone who comes across as judging. I think, though, that it can be a whole other thing for the less-sure (maybe, children for example) and/or more tired (maybe elderly, for example); or for that matter, anyone who has had more than the usual number of some types of experiences than might be considered "average".

And, what it all amounts to, I'd guess, is a whole lot of people in this world being judged and driven into isolation when what they need is at least better understanding - not the judgment of others who, as they say, don't have a clue and don't even have a clue about not having a clue.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Search This Blog

"Writing isn't always about just getting the words down, or out, or even read. It is about pulling from the universe just the right number and combination of words and allowing them to join hands to come to life."

Note I

As I continue to reorganize, trim down, consolidate, further develop, and/or otherwise work on any number of my own blogs/sites, there may be the occasional "No Page Exists" message on this blog. That's temporary and not something I can avoid at this stage in my reorganizing "project".

I've got my Google+ profile settings so that all but this blog and a couple of other things are hidden from the public. Because of that, but because I don't particularly want to keep some of my writing a big secret, I'm including a few links that will get anyone who may be at all interested to a page that is far less of an apparent dead end than my Google profile is right at this time. Here's one link:

In order to keep this "explanatory note" relatively brief, I'll write a post (February 21, 2016) to further make it clear what I'm doing with this blog. My plan is to revise and/or delete this note in the very near future, when it no longer seems necessary to include it (or parts of it).

Because I've transitioned from having once used a pen-name to (in more recent times) using my real name, I'm also including a link to my "pen-name blog".

"The Writing-Reorganizing Project Continues" is the title of the February 21, 2016 post, to which I referred above.

Note II

What's On This Blog

This blog, as its title suggests, is a collection of online writing and random notes/thoughts of its author. Since material posted on or before February 21, 2016 has been imported from a number of my other sites/blogs there's a little bit of clean-up that still needs to be done on those posts, particularly with regard to some formatting issues. I'll be working on improving the presentation of the older posts. There won't (or at least shouldn't) be any issues with material posted on or after the date mentioned here.

Note III

The following is a transfer from another one of my blogs/sites. It appears more attractively presented elsewhere, but I've chosen not to link to that because a) I don't want this blog to be a "dreaded" "doorway page", and b) I'm trying to "bury" (without completely deleting, at least for now) some of the sites where posts already appear. It know there are easier, more automated, ways to transfer material, but with a large variety and number of different types of material to be transferred, I've found that in some instances "more automated" means "further, even if relatively minor, complicating things". In other words, I have a real online mess on my hands. I don't want more of the same, which, for my purposes/aims, often means limiting the "automating".

For now, I'll mark transfer posts as such. (Oh, and way at the bottom of the blog there's a link to the latest incarnation of an old blog. The link is there for my own convenience as I work on things here Links on this sidebar are old stuff. I'll do something with links to new stuff some other time.)

.

OTHER WRITING

"Other Writing" is a post title (and label) I've used on two posts ("Other Writing A" and "Other Writing B") with links to a big mix of (what else) other writing I have that falls under the category of "free time" or "casual" online. There's also a third post related to other writing, and that describes what much of that "other writing" is and why I included the other-writing-related posts, all of which are dated February 24, 2016.

(In a nutshell, I want those links available on here but don't want to highlight them.)

ABOUT 'WORDCRAFTER"

If you've arrived here via my HubPages "WordCrafter09" profile or from any of my pen-name pages here's a link to a blog that I set up as I was making the transition from a long-time, well established, pen-name to using my own name. Until very recently I've linked from my "WordCrafter09" profile to the blog, but since I've made substantial progress with the transition I decided to de-emphasize that blog (while still making a link to it available - at least for awhile longer).

It's not so much "blog" as it is part dumping ground and part explanation. In any case, here's the link (for now, anyway...):