​DreamingOutLoud

Be a lot of women complaining about not being paid enuf money ....women in tv/film stepping forward and saying they're being paid a pittance in comparison to the men around them or people asking them to do too much and not be considerate of their time....those are real problems and then we complain...but you got to look at that complaining with perspective...you can't change people calling you a bitch for asking for what you're worth, you can't change people calling you selfish or self involved because you value yourself...u can't change people offering you slave wages for real work, you can't change people insulting you with requests for free

​Be a lot of women complaining about not being paid enuf money ....women in tv/film stepping forward and saying they're being paid a pittance in comparison to the men around them or people asking them to do too much and not be considerate of their time....those are real problems and then we complain...but you got to look at that complaining with perspective...you can't change people calling you a bitch for asking for what you're worth, you can't change people calling you selfish or self involved because you value yourself...u can't change people offering you slave wages for real work, you can't change people insulting you with requests for free work... what you can do is

1. learn how to not take any of that personally bec it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person trying to get more for less

2. you can decide to not get mad or salty

3. you can decide to run towards the sunlight meaning, only entertaining things that feel whole, good, right, worthy and joyful

4. but mostly, u can get in a room with a #BlackLadyTherapist and examine why you feel so guilty when you ask for what you want...

u can spend some time sorting out why you feel you should just take what you can get

u can spend some time disentangling yourself from people, places, relationships and things that don't celebrate you or make you feel good

u can spend some time evaluating your value system and making sure it's about you...and not about someone else's agenda

u can start asking for what you want in small ways to practice the asking for the big thing down the road...

bec here's the thing...when you give attitude and snap at someone for not honoring you...that's not power, that's you feeling angry, guilty and needing to justify wanting and deserving what you want and deserve...

When u know it's urs....there's no room for discussion...you simply no longer entertain anything that does not honor you...

anything that doesn't feel like sunlight on your face...easy and nurturing...just say no...

and like my #BlackLadyTherapist says to me,

"So, please explain to me what it is they want you to do?"

I explain, she listens.

Then she goes into that really smart brain and remembers something I said a decade ago and says,,,

Well, it sounds to me like you resent being asked to do this because you've already done this better and on your own and got paid more for it. So my question becomes, why don't you just create that for yourself?

And I sit there and look at her with all the hostility in my heart and say, because I'm afraid to do it on my own...I don't know how to set up that structure or build that production company or...and then I get quiet because I can hear her laughing in her head....that's the same exact thing I've said to her everytime, I said " fuck it" hired a coach and learned how to do it my self...

and she smiles...bec she knows...I know exactly what to do...I just needed someone wise who I trust to remind me of the process I alway follow to learn something new, master it and finally get the stability and rewards I deserve...

I know how to do this...it will be hard as shit...

but so is working for slave wages...so find a mentor and learn how to work smarter, not harder....

i love my #BlackLadyTherapist....

because she be about the work...yo....and about my potential for abundance and joy...

and in the end, you know what I learn?

She was giving me tasks...steps to take in my own behalf...she gave me constructive ways to set boundaries so I could make space to learn new ways of functioning and living...

I learned that the creation of self-esteem, self-worth comes from doing something you thought you couldn't do and succeeding....thats it...

it's not an affirmation or some woo woo chant...it means DOING somethingon your ownto prove to your soul that you are indeed the master of your fate...