Fathers learn from their children

By Lois Szymanski

On the third Sunday of June annually, Father’s Day celebrates the contributions dads make in the lives of their children. Stories are often shared about things children have learned from their fathers. But frequently, and sometimes unexpectedly, dads also learn from their offspring.

David Berry

David Berry, of Westminster, named two things he has learned from his children, Crystal and Tim, who are now adults.

“Years ago when my son was in single digits I asked him to go to his room and pick up his toys,” Berry said. “When I went to check on him he was in the middle of all these action figures. I said, ‘Tim, you were supposed to pick up your toys.’ He said, ‘I am, Dad. I’m picking them up one at a time and playing with them.’ I learned that things are not always as they seem. He had a totally different idea of what 'pick up' is than I did. So I learned to ask questions to better understand,” Berry said.

“When she was 8 or 9 years old, I was with my daughter and the sun was setting. It was that moment in time when the sun sinks below the line we see and my daughter called me to see what was happening. I was busy and by the time I came, I had missed the sunset. She described it and I could picture it immediately and I realized that something that seemed small to me had been a big deal to her. I never want to miss that moment again. If it is important to my child it needs to be important to me, too,” he said.

“She’s taught me to pick my battles,” he said. "She’s hooked on this video game, Minecraft. I won’t allow her to play it until her chores and homework are done. I don’t really want her to play it at all because she blocks out the world when she’s playing. But I’ve learned it is better than so many other things she could be doing, so I let her play it but with limits."

Lunceford added, "And I have learned more about patience. I didn’t have any patience prior to having a daughter.”

Shawn Baker

Taneytown resident Shawn Baker has three daughters: Angelique, 14; Hailey, 9; and Jasmine, 8. He said becoming a father is something he wouldn’t trade for the world, and each of his children have taught him a lesson.

“My oldest has taught me a lot about technology, about the computer and how to use a smartphone. My middle daughter is a future nurse because she is already teaching me proper names for body parts, and my youngest daughter is very creative and shows me how to be creative. She is able to draw or design anything we are talking about.”

Greg Stoner

Greg Stoner’s son Nathan is 22 and son Jake is 4. The Mount Airy resident said his oldest son was born on Father’s Day.

“I have learned the importance of being in the present moment when you are with your kids,” he said. “It’s easy to lament things that have happened in the past or what may or may not happen in the future, but none of that really amounts to anything. You have to really be there for your kids when you are with them to help teach them.”

He shared an example. “I remember giving Jake a bath when he was about 4. Even though I was right next to him, I was not paying attention. He was splashing and trying to get my attention and he just stopped and said, 'What’s the matter, Dad? Don’t you know how to laugh?’ Kids don’t think like we do. They are not worried about the future, or the past, at least not for more than a moment, and they enjoy life.”

Rick Ardinger

Rick Ardinger, of Taneytown, has two sons: Liam, 18, and Shane, 15.

“I’ve learned a sense of patience with the shortcomings of others,” he said of what his children have taught him.

“I have been a longtime smoker and have struggled with trying to quit smoking for years. In the last two years I’ve made a concerted effort. I quit for two years and then started back up. The whole time I’ve been fighting these demons, my kids have been patient with me. They don’t like it, they don’t like the smell and they worry that I will get cancer, but they have been very patient and supportive of me. That patience is something I didn’t have prior to this ordeal. They’ve helped me with that.”

Allan Chrest

Allan Chrest, of Westminster, has one adult daughter, Allison. He said not only has she taught him lessons along the way, but “she’s also given me the most precious gift of grandchildren. I had no idea how much grandchildren would touch my life,” he said.

“The most important lesson my daughter has taught me is to not sweat the small stuff,” Chrest said. “It used to be if I spilled a glass of water I’d get upset, but she reminded me that it’s only water.”

Mike Misterka

Westminster resident Mike Misterka has three adult children -- Jason, Monica and Mathew -- and is also a stepdad and a grandfather. He said his kids have taught him patience and perseverance.

“My daughter grew up with serious learning disabilities and low vision, so I’ve learned what perseverance is. She wanted to get a degree and she did,” he said.

“It’s important for children to have dads who care,” he said. “There are a lot of obstacles for men to become real dads. It’s hard for some males to grow up with correct role models to learn how to be a dad, and a kid without a dad in his life flounders.”