October 25, 2018

Casey APAC (Alternative Parent Action Council) will meet November 5th, 6:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. @ Casey Co Public Library, Community Room. If you are raising children that are not living with their biological parents (Grandparents, other relatives, foster parents, etc.), make plans to attend! Activities for children will be available for children during this meeting. For more information, please email APAC@caseykyschools.onmicrosoft.com

October 12, 2018

A Free Online summit for parents and grandparents hosted by Susan Stiffleman, MFT October 23, 24, 25, 2018. Sign up free today. This is a great opportunity to listen to several professionals about parenting, grandparenting, and relationship issues.

October 05, 2018

The following words are from a grandmother who is raising her daughter's son. With her permission, I am sharing her thoughts.

1) I have accepted that I am not my daughter and she is NOT me;

2) Compassion is NOT a weakness, nor is harshness a strength;

3) My grandson has enough love to go around and it’s ok if Mom is still #1 with him;

4) Life is like a stair case. Remember...While each one of us might be on a different step and climb at different speeds, it is always harder to climb up than to go down and crutches make the climb that much harder;

5) I am in the situation I am in because I am responsible and caring not because I am a victim;

6) The only one without a choice is my grandson;

7) Drama fuels the emotional rollercoaster so avoid it as much as possible;

8) When dealing with the court’s and social services, the best approach is to identify the problem and ask how you can help Mom resolve an issue rather than be accusatory;

9) I choose to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem; and finally

10) I see myself as a beacon of light, love, and hope in what otherwise might be a very dark world for my grandson.

July 17, 2018

Why would grandparents adopt their grandchildren? Grandparents who are already raising their grandchildren may or may not want to adopt them. There are pros and cons to adopting grandchildren. It works out really well in some situations but not so well in other situations.

When a grandparent might want to adopt:

To create long-term stability and prevent children from possibly being shuffled back and forth between caregivers - both parents parental rights must be terminated first.

To decide who they want to care for their grandchildren should something happen to them.

If they are retired and on social security, there are added financial benefits for adopted children but not children a grandparent may merely have in custody.

When children are placed with grandparents as foster children through child services and then adopted, there are often added benefits to the children, adoption costs paid, continued financial assistance for the children, and even college tuition assistance.

When a grandparent might not want to adopt:

When parents are still involved with the children and it is not possible or desirable to terminate parental rights.

When grandparents received custody/guardianship of children outside of the formal child welfare system, it is often harder to terminate parental rights and the cost of the adoption is placed on the grandparents.

If a grandparent adopts a grandchild outside of the formal child welfare system, any financial assistance a grandparent might be receiving for the child in the form of a child-only TANF grant would be discontinued.

Whether or not it is the best option for grandparents to adopt their grandchildren totally depends on their personal and family situation. This is not a topic to be taken lightly. If a grandparent is raising a grandchild placed with them through child services and they want to adopt, talking to the case worker is the first step. If a grandparent wants to adopt a grandchild that they have custody/guardianship of, they would do well to contact an attorney who specializes in family adoptions.

Adopting grandchildren is not the right decision for all families, but it is a good decision for many.

Our online FB support group for grandparents and relatives raising children has moved locations. Same group, same important group rules. If you are not a member and would like to join, please visit us and read about our group, either under DESCRIPTION or on the group ABOUT or INFO page.

This group is for grandparents and other relatives raising children. This is not for birth parents or the children themselves.

December 27, 2017

Jessica Freeman, Ph.D. from South Dakota State University is conducting research about the unique challenges faced by grandfamilies and the communication surrounding processes of advanced directives and end-of-life planning. You must have been the primary caregiver to at least one grandchild in the last 12 months to participate. Dr. Freeman is an assistant professor and was raised by her own grandmother. A link to her university information can be found at https://www.sdstate.edu/directory/jessica-freeman. To participate, please contact Dr. Freeman by emailing her at Jessica.Freeman@sdstate.edu with your name, phone number, and a good time to call you to set up an interview. The study will take about 45 minutes of your time. Dr. Freeman can be reached at 316-573-6871 if you have any questions.

From Karen: I have already been personally interviewed by Dr. Freeman and believe it is valuable information and encourage all interested to participate.

October 10, 2017

If you find yourself "older" and raising children (most likely your grandchildren) all over again, it is time to get new glasses. What do I mean by that? It means you are going to need a completely new perspective when it comes to parenting your grandchildren than when you were parenting your own children.

Now that doesn't mean you are necessarily going to parent all that differently. That is up to you, but changing your expectations is vital for everyone's health and well-being.

5 Things that will be different

1) You have competition (even though this really isn't a competition). If you are a woman, you likely were your child's only mom. You were it. You really never thought about it much. Now, no matter how much time you give to parenting, the children know their "real mom" is out there someplace. Maybe they see her regularly or maybe they don't. But she exists. No matter their experiences with their "real mom," you are going to be compared as they get older. Lucky you.

2) You get to deal with legal issues you likely never had to deal with before. Your 401K might be spent on lawyers to perhaps get custody away from the state or even your own child (a horrible thought). When your children were sick, you simply took them to the doctor. You probably never had to prove you had legal rights to take your own children to the doctor or put them in school. Then there is the legal issues of adopting should you choose to go that route. If your own children were your birth children, you never had to consider adopting them to keep them safe.

3) You had nine months to mentally or financially prepare for your own child, and you usually got one at a time, as a newborn. Not so when you accept the responsibility of raising someone else's children. You usually get very little notice and they often come in two's or three's or even more.

4) Now that you are older, you likely will have health issues that you didn't have 20 or 30 years ago. Most of us simply don't have the energy at 50 or 60+ that we had at 30. So now rather than just dealing with the cold you got every fall when the kids went back to school, you are possibly dealing with arthritis, high blood pressure, menopause, and so many more unpleasant "older persons" health issues.

5) The money you had saved for retirement or need to be saving for retirement is now needed for larger housing - rather than downsizing to fit your retirement income - school clothes, lessons, and even children's medical needs. Even if the children have Medicaid, it may not pay for the braces your teen needs. So what now? Your teen grandchild either lives with crooked teeth or you dip into whatever savings you have or should have. There is no more "I'll save for my retirement when the kids are grown." Your kids are grown, and by the time your grandchildren are grown, well, let's just say, it may be a bit late to be saving for retirement.

So why do we take on the responsibility of raising grandchildren? Love. We love these children, even with all of the challenges. Just remember you need to put on new glasses to get a new perspective.

August 22, 2017

I have a friend, Connie Parbon Green, who has started a new Facebook support group for LGBTQ family members raising children. If you are a grandparent raising a grandchild or another family member raising a relative's child and you are interested in joining this "closed" facebook group, please visit LGBTQ Raising Family Members. You must have a FB account to join. It's free.

August 07, 2017

I get a lot of comments on posts that are several years old. I try to answer them, but I doubt the person posting the question or comment even sees my reply. The best way to get an answer to your question if you are a kinship caregiver (a grandparent or relative raising children) is to join our Facebook group, our RRC Community. RRC stands for Relative Raising Children. If you are interested and have a FB account, please go to our page and request to join. You will be given three questions to answer. Once those are answered, you can expect to get a message and Friend request from me before you can be added to our group. Our group rules are a bit different than other grandparent groups, so the group rules must be read carefully and accepted.

April 11, 2017

I was asked to review a new children's book, Where is Robin? This charming and colorful book was written by Robin Barone and illustrated by Robyn Mitchell. Robin is a curious little bird who strikes out on an adventurous journey to discover the United States. She visits interesting and famous landmarks based on American history. As I read this children's book I found myself eagerly waiting to see which part of the United States Robin would discover next. An excellent book for your grandchild or any child for that matter. I will be giving my copy of this cute book to one of my grandchildren. This is the first book in a series about Robin's traveling adventures. Look for it on Amazon or at your favorite book store.

February 19, 2017

In today's society teenagers have extra challenges in learning financial responsibility. Jobs once held by teenagers are now dominated by adults and even semi-retired seniors trying to make ends meet. Seniors raising grandchildren can be extra challenged if they had expected their expenses to be reduced when they reached retirement age.

My granddaughter, Marlie (Myah in my book) is now 16 and is using her creativity to help pay for activities that are not in my family budget as a single grandmother raising two teens. She has gotten very good at knitting ruffle scarves that are fashionable. Right now she has the following two scarves available for purchase, a burgundy/maroon scarf and a multi-colored tan/ivory/pinkish scarf. These scarves are for fashion not for winter warmth. If you are interested in purchasing a scarf from Marlie and supporting her in her efforts to learn responsibility, contact me. The cost is $18, including shipping within the US 48 states. She currently has other colors also available.

February 03, 2017

Those of us who are caring full-time for grandchildren have many differences. The one thing we have in common is that we are raising children at a time in our lives that we likely had not expected to be raising children.

Our differences are more varied. Some of us may have the children for a short time while a parent is absent and then returns. Some of us have had our adult child call us for help by taking the young ones because their lives are a mess and they can't parent. Some have had CPS call because the children are in the custody of the state, and they are looking for relatives to take the children. Some children stay in the custody of the state and are "fostered" by the grandparents. Others are placed permanently with the grandparent or other relative and the state withdraws from the situation, closes the case, and the grandparent becomes the legal guardian or is given full custody, depending on the state. Some grandparents have their grandchildren because their own child is deceased.

Sometimes the children stay with the grandparents temporarily, maybe a few months or even a few years. Other grandparents adopt their grandchildren and take full responsibility as if they were their birth children. Anyway you look at it, there are challenges.

Rarely, is it easy. Grandparents face various challenges from dealing with addicted parents, various court dates, legal fees, and how to support the grandchildren. With many grandparents in their 50's, 60's, and even 70's, they often deal with various health issues of their own that they didn't have 20 or 30 years earlier.

The advice given by grandparents who have been raising grandchildren for several years usually counsel those new to this journey to stay focused on the well-being of the children and not become consumed with the problems of their parents. This can be difficult when the parent is their own child.

So where does all of this lead? Well, where do you want it to lead? Do you want this to be temporary? Do you want it to be permanent with custody, or do you want to adopt? Remember, that what we want may or may not be how things go. Sometimes when I wonder what am I actually accomplishing with two teenage grandchildren, I realize that for now I am providing a safe environment that is drug free, alcohol free, and violent free. I try to provide more than that as a single grandmother, but realize if that is all I can do, we are okay.

While we all have something in common, we are also very different. In spite of our differences, we can be a support to each other.

December 12, 2016

The holidays can be a very emotional time for grandparents and grandchildren who are a family unit without the parents. Of the many grandparents I have communicated with, it appears to me the stress depends on many factors. Some grandparents want the parents involved who do not want to be involved. Other grandparents do not want the parents involved who want to be involved. The children can be stuck in the middle. Babies and small children seem less likely to be affected by having Christmas with just their grandparents. As children get older, they have more memories of how things used to be, whether pleasant or painful.

So while the media makes Christmas such a joyous time for everyone, it simply isn't joyous for all families. It can be a time that brings pain in spite of the efforts made to make it a wonderful time to remember. It definitely is different than what many grandparents and children expected to be experiencing. I know this year is not how my granddaughters expected to be celebrating Christmas. My grands with me are teens and as the holidays approach, I see and feel their emotions all over the place.

My wish is that all families, regardless of the design, find ways to make new traditions or bring back old ones to build happy memories that will last a lifetime.

October 23, 2016

It seems the majority of grandparents that I meet through my online support group are raising small children. They are still at the beginning of their journey. But I have been noticing that as time goes on, I meet more grandparents (through my online support group) raising teenagers. That has personally been helpful to me, since I am raising two teenage girls, ages 14 and 16. The girls lived with me several years when they were tiny, but went back to live with their mother until this last year.

My book "I LOVE YOU FROM THE EDGES: Lessons from Raising Grandchildren" ends when the girls are with their mother. When they returned to me as teenagers, I was ill prepared. I think I was expecting to pick up where we had left off (they were 7 and 9 at the time). Wow! that was not meant to be. A lot transpires for a child in six years.

We all want to help our grandchildren adjust well to their new surroundings and life, but it often isn't that simple. Especially older kids come with many experiences we wish they had not had to endure. I don't believe my girls know anyone at school who live with a grandparent. They are highs school students. I look at some of our old photos when they were small and we were having loads of fun at the beach or on a vacation. Then I wonder, why aren't we having that much fun anymore. Well a 14 year old wants different things than a 7 year old does. Their moods are different (all over the place) and they want to be more independent, even if they aren't quite ready for what they believe is their right.

So here is to all of you raising teens. Don't think you can solve everything. I have learned that even though my girls are really good girls when considering where they could be in life, they still need others (sometimes a professional therapist) to talk to because I am too emotionally involved in our conflicts. It's okay to get to know the parents of the teens your kids want to hang out with, even if your grands think you have lost your mind. Sometimes younger parents can be a real support when you see them doing an excellent job and they actually think the way you do. It can be empowering.

Most of us have resorted to finding online support groups, just to find others who travel a similar path as we do. If interested in our online Facebook support group, you must have a FB account. We can be found at https://www.facebook.com/groups/RRCsupport/

October 19, 2016

When it has been a long time since you had small children in your home, having young grandchildren either visit or come live with you can be worrisome. None of us want accidents to happen, especially ones that can easily be avoided.

10 Child-proofing ideas:

Install smoke and carbon dioxide detectors in all bedrooms and an additional one on each floor.

Always unplug and put away an iron after use.

Install baby gates to keep babies and toddlers either in or out of designated areas.

Do not have toy boxes that have hinged lids that can fall on little fingers.

Keep pet food away from children. It is a choking hazard.

Electric outlet covers are a must, preferably the type that can be screwed on.

Keep medicine out of a child's reach, even if it does have child-proof lids. Children can be ingenious.

Be aware of what houseplants or outdoor plants are poisonous and avoid them.

Kitchen cabinets and drawers should have safety locks unless the contents are harmless and you don't mind the contents dumped on the floor.

Always keep a fire extinguisher securely fastened to the wall.

If you would like to learn 58 other child-proofing ideas, click here. Great Ideas by Contractor Quotes.

September 18, 2016

I communicate with many grandparents who are raising grandchildren. Way too many experience their own anger and those who are angry at them. It is hard for me to understand that a family member can be angry with a grandparent for spending their effort raising a grandchild (unless it is the resentful parent), but it happens. I have known of the grandparents' other grown children being angry. I know of spouses who get angry and even ex-spouses believe it or not. Many of these angry people don't even want to care for the children themselves. They simply want to find fault and be angry. So when I recently was faced with someone's anger because I chose to take two teenage granddaughters to finish raising, I had a choice. First I felt crushed and cried, and then I realized that the person was simply an angry person. I am sure I am not the only person this individual shows an angry attitude towards. All he wanted to see were my faults.

So while I contemplated about my hurt feelings. I realized my heart was saying to me, "Do NOT let someone else's anger seep into your soul. Let it go and let yourself be free. I found this graphic (sorry I do not know who designed this graphic, but I felt it fit perfectly to my thoughts. Sometimes I have to breathe deeply and let myself feel the hurt feelings or the anger that might have been stirred in me and feel them flow out and and away from me. Unless, you have personally wronged an individual and need to own up to it, just remember he/she may just be a sad angry person. It will bring you more peace.

June 28, 2016

If you are a grandparent raising a grandchild or other relative raising a relative child, check out our Facebook group especially for you. Our RRC Support Group stands for Relatives Raising Children. You must have a Facebook account to join https://www.facebook.com/groups/RRCsupport/

Our RRC Support Group is free to join.

If you are a grandmother about 50+ and are interested in our Live Life the Wellness Way group that focuses specifically on your personal wellness the fee is $25/month. We focus on 6 areas of wellness: Physical, Emotional, Social, Mental/Intellectual, Spiritual, and Environmental (mostly home environment). https://www.facebook.com/groups/LiveLifetheWellnessWay/ I am a professional health educator and wellness coach and am the administrator of the wellness group.

Remember the RRC group for all relatives raising children is free to join. The Wellness Group has a $25/month fee with no contract to join.

May 08, 2016

Mother's Day evokes a multitude of feelings in women. It may be a happy day with cards, flowers, family gathered together and plenty of "I love you's" and hugs. Or, it may be a day of sadness, tears, or maybe even numbness.

For grandmothers raising grandchildren it will also be a day of mixed feelings. Those raising little children may face conflict of who did the child make the Mother's Day card for, the mother they seldom see or the grandmother who raises them everyday. Some grandmothers have happy stories to tell. Other grandmothers have sad experiences and not recognized at all. They may be raising teenagers who are sensitive and treat their grandmother as a mother. They may be raising teenagers who don't have a clue and don't even say Happy Mother's Day. No more with the cute cards and hand-picked flowers.

Then there are grandmothers who are raising grandchildren due to the death of their own children. Mother's Day may bring tears for everyone. The day goes unrecognized and goes on like no other. But deep in the grandmother's heart is a longing for something. Just remember the children may feel conflicted too.

For you grandmothers who still get the cards, flowers, and smiles and hugs, I am very happy for you. For those of you who feel forgotten while you are still mothering children, know you are not alone. Many women face the same dread and ache.

Just know your value is not based on whether or not others recognize what you do. You are valuable even if you feel invisible and taken for granted.

So do I say Happy Mother's Day or do I wish you a peaceful day? Either way I hope you grandmothers raising grandchildren know how important you are.

April 03, 2016

The day the girls returned to me after 6 1/2 years. The author of this article for the Chicago Tribune just happened to email me requesting an interview right at the time the girls returned to me. Quite the coincidence

All over again: The joys and trials of raising grandchildren - Chicago Tribune

Karen Best Wright’s experience raising her two grandchildren led to a book and a website offering support to others in the same position.

I continue to get emails from people wanting to know if there is a local support group in their area. I seldom know of local support groups across the country. However, there are several online support groups on facebook for grandparents raising grandchildren.

You obviously must have a Facebook account to join. In order to join our group, you must be willing to read and agree to the group rules. This is meant to be a group to inspire and help us in our time of need. It is not meant to be a place to vent anger and tell of all of the faults of the children's parents. We all need inspiration and help with the difficult situations we have found ourselves in. We can help each other but not if we stay angry. If you are interested, please check us out.

March 08, 2016

Did you know that you start losing bone mass in your 30's? Well for those of us grandmothers raising grandchildren, this is definitely something we should be paying attention to. Osteoporosis is a silent disease. You rarely know you even have it until you start breaking bones. Breaking bones and taking care of children really don't go together very well.

Plus, I have found that as I get older, I heal slower than I did 30 years ago. I have osteoporosis, so this is a topic that is very important to me and I believe should be very important to everyone, especially seniors raising children.

So what foods are good for your bones? Foods with adequate calcium, Vitamin D, magnesium, and even Vit K is proving important. Follow the link above to learn the importance of learning what foods you should be eating. Hint: Vit K is found in dark leafy greens and vegetables, so it really isn't beyond our reach.

March 04, 2016

Grandparent respite program for grandparents over the age of 55 who are raising their grandchildren or other relative children in northern Nevada: The Family Resource Center in Elko, NV provides a child-care respite program worth $400.

Eligibility:

1. Grandparent must be 55+

2. Northern Nevada resident

3. Guardianship documented

4. Biological parents must not live in grandparents home

5. Children under age 18

6. Children are not adopted by grandparents

If you think you may qualify for this program contact Family Resource Centers of Northeastern Nevada

January 15, 2016

Money is usually tight for grandparents raising grandchildren. It is not something they had budgeted to be doing, especially during their retirement years. Although many grandparents are still working while raising grandchildren at the same time. Outside resources are limited to help these grandparents. That is when it is important to get creative.

Couponing has become the rage recently and has become much easier. No longer are you limited to search through piles of paper ads that come in the mail box that stands outside your home. Right from your home computer you can sign up to receive coupons to be used online or even from your phone. Gone are the days of having only one choice - lugging around a ton of coupons that you try to cleverly organize. It is becoming more simple all of the time. For example click on Kohl's if you are interested in what coupons and discounts they are offering. Never spend full price again. Look for discounts on top of discounts.

Have fun seeing just how much money you can save and more important being able to buy your grandchildren the things you feel they need. Many times you can get brand new items for less than you would pay for used items at a thrift store.

January 09, 2016

I have spent so much time with our grandparent /relative support group on Facebook that I have neglected my blog over the holidays. A new year is upon us already. It will no doubt bring many changes into our lives, some we will welcome and some we will not. One thing that is guaranteed is that life changes.

Some grandparents will be gaining custody of children, some will be adopting grandchildren, and some may even face having children returned to their parents. Whatever 2016 brings to you, I hope that peace and comfort will accompany the changes you will face.

Feel free to share what changes you are experiencing in your life this year.

November 30, 2015

Most grandparents raising grandchildren experience financial difficulties for which they probably were not prepared. Why pay full-price when you can pay 1/2 price or receive another helpful discount on items you already plan to purchase. My last oil change was 1/2 off by using a coupon through Groupon Coupon.

Another thing to remember is that local businesses also advertise and offer valuable coupons through the site. I have used local coupons for restaurants, massages, and alternative health care. Why do people not bother with coupons? Probably because of time, digging through the mail and letting the coupons expire, or simply not even thinking about it.

Sign-up through Groupon Coupon and receive emails with coupons or shop online using shopping codes. It is really quite simple. Find only the coupons you want without digging through piles of mail.

This post was sponsored by Groupon Coupon, but my experiences are real. Have fun couponing.

November 15, 2015

I often have grandparents email me asking if I know of any support groups near where they live. Unfortunately most of the time, I have to tell them no. Local support groups are sometimes hard to find. Many grandparents find their support online. How do you find them?

This online forum is ideal for anyone who is not a Facebook user but looking for a safe and friendly place to ask questions, share experiences, or learn about valuable resources in your state. It is free and you can sign up as yourself or anonymously for privacy purposes.

October 31, 2015

There are several support groups on Facebook for grandparents raising grandchildren. I am the admin for a couple of them. Our RRC Group (relatives raising children) is for all relatives raising a family members child. Go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/RRCsupport. When you request to join, you must be willing and able to communicate with me through messaging and accept my personal Friend request. And, then read and accept our group rules. I work hard to keep the group legit.

I am also a co-admin for a group called GRANDS Market. This group is not a "support" group in the usual sense. It is a marketing group for grandparents who are raising grandchildren and have services or products they are marketing to help raise their grandchildren. Anyone can join but only kinship caregivers can be sellers. But we love to have others join the group and support these dedicated grandparents by shopping with us. https://www.facebook.com/groups/GRANDSMarket/

Since these groups for grandparents are Facebook groups, you must have a facebook account to join.

October 09, 2015

Leave a simple comment such as "interested" to be entered in a drawing to receive a free copy of "Smile & Succeed for Teens." Author Kirt Manecke is an award winning author who has written a book just for teens, teaching them valuable social skills. He writes about must-know people skills for today's wired world for teens. It is a crash course in face-to-face communication. It is available on Amazon, but Kirt is offering a free give-a-way to my blog readers. Make sure if you leave a message to be entered in the give-a-way that you use a valid email address, so I can contact the winner.

This book is easy to read and has cute illustrations. If you have a teen who is wanting to get a job or learn helpful tips in presenting himself or herself, this is a helpful start.

October 04, 2015

"Our national organization Prevent Child Abuse America is planting a national pinwheel garden (symbol for child abuse prevention) on October 13th at the National Mall in D.C. The theme of the event is GREAT grandparents GREAT childhoods in honor of grandparent appreciation month. We want to do social media posts about grandparents and the things they enjoy most about having grandchildren and what they hope for the next generation."

Absolutely, but only if you are buying things you really need or were going to buy anyway. Shopping with coupons has been around for a long time. Remember the S & H Green Stamps that were popular from the 1930’s through the 1980’s. I remember my mother collecting the stamps from grocery shopping and letting us redeem them to buy her a Christmas gift. I remember picking out the coolest item for her (I’m sure with her suggestion), and she got exactly what she needed for Christmas.

Thrifty moms and grandmas have been around forever. Today Couponing is very popular. There are Facebook groups all about couponing. If you get on a store’s email list, their coupons come right into your computer. You simply print off the one’s you want. Whenever I shop at a fabric or craft store, I always bring a coupon, even if it saves me ½ price on only one item. I do plan ahead and shop wisely to get the best for my money. Some women are serious coupon shoppers and can make their family’s budget stretch unbelievably.

However, be prepared, couponing does take some effort and planning along with self-control to not buy something just because it is on sale. Impulsive buying could destroy the whole purpose of using coupons, to save money.

So why pay more than you need to for items that you are already going to buy anyway. Maybe the money you save will allow you to buy something for yourself that you really need or simply will enjoy. So shop wisely, save money, be thrifty, and enjoy the experience.

September 11, 2015

I am putting together a FB Wellness Program for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren based on a program that I have previously created for this population. If you have read my book: I LOVE YOU FROM THE EDGES: Lessons from Raising Grandchildren, you already have the Wellness Assessment in the Appendix of the book. If not, I can send it to you in a PDF file. I have deliberated over this project for sometime on the best way to reach and truly help those grandparents who are eager to take their wellness seriously. I will form a "secret" FB group just for those participating. There will be a nominal fee to participate, as I put much effort and sincerity into this project. The "secret" FB group will focus on the 6 areas of wellness: Physical, emotional, social, spiritual, mental/intellectual, and environmental (mostly personal environment, not global), while keeping in mind you are most likely seniors raising children all over again. If you are interested in learning more about this group, please leave a comment with a way for me to reach you (email) or email me personally at raisinggrandchildren@earthlink.net (you may need to copy and paste that into your email program.

I believe this is the best way for me to help grandparents with their wellness goals in the most motivating, educational, and least expensive way for the grandparent.

I hope to hear from you.

Karen Best Wright, Certified Health Educator and Wellness Consultant and a grandmother who has been there.

August 02, 2015

Sheryl Martin invites you to participate in a study of family relationship restoration or healing in grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. "This is part of the degree requirement for the doctoral program at Walden University. I would like to interview grandparents who are currently the primary caregiver for their grandchildren. The interview is expected to be 60 to 90 minutes. If you are a grandparent who have been the primary caregiver for the past three years, please contact Sheryl Martin via her professional Facebook page Grandparents Caring, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Grandparents-Caring/838308602880836?fref=ts or her professional email address: grandparentscaring@gmail.com." (please copy and paste the email address into your email program to email Sheryl.

July 28, 2015

Many grandparents raising grandchildren are always looking for fun yet inexpensive activities to do with their grandchildren. I received an email from one Florida grandmother I would like to share.

"My grandchildren, ages 5 and 3 love the Tri Rail train ride from West Palm Beach to Ft. Lauderdale. The train is only $5 for an adult all day pass on the weekends and the children ride for free. We take the train from West Palm, get off in Ft. Lauderdale and have lunch near the train station; then board the train and go back to West Palm. The outing is perfect for children their age. Not too long and not too short.

July 10, 2015

May grandparents raising their grandchildren (and I'm sure parents too) often deal with children with very overly sensitive palates. Children who like very few foods may be dealing with both psychological and physiological reasons. They are not the same thing.

Sometimes grandparents are extra challenged because they may have gotten custody of children who had never been fed proper nutrition in the first place. So they may hear a lot of, "I don't like that." even before a child has tried it.

I am not a fan of the idea, "Kids will eat when they are hungry." While that may be true, nutritional deficiencies can add to an already stressed child and contribute to unnecessary health problems.

When grandparents have asked me, "How do I get my grandchild to eat vegetables?" I suggest several things.

If a child really has a severe aversion to a specific vegetable, don't force it. There are a lot of healthy vegetables that can be hidden in foods until healthy foods become more palatable.

Healthy smoothies are a great way to add many nutrients in a condensed way. Keep in mind you want it to be low in sugar and high in nutrients. It may take some trial an error to find what your child will like, but stay positive and experiment. The smoothie I make for myself, especially when my appetite is depressed, consists of (I rarely measure so these are estimates)

1/2 cup pure blueberry juice or blueberries,

1/2 cup low-fat, low sugar vanilla yogurt,

a few frozen strawberries,

a ripe banana,

a handful of fresh baby spinach (tasteless),

a few fresh baby carrots,

1Tlb ground flax-seed,

1 Tlb ground almonds,

Maybe a boiled egg white (not yoke) for extra protein.

If the smoothie is too thick add water or milk to it. If it is too sour, add a tad bit of sugar (not artificial sweetener).

Using a high quality, powerful blender works best.

Again experiment. It might be a good idea to have the child help you or that might be the worst idea. Do what works for you.

3. Always have the child join the family for dinner whether or not he eats much and do not make dinner time a fighting match. The smoothies can be their breakfast or their mid-afternoon snack. The important thing is to provide highly nutritious, low sugary foods, even if they only drink 1/2 cup. Be warned, because of the green spinach, it may look like you are drinking swamp water. But trust me, it tastes better than it looks. If the color is disturbing to the child, put the smoothie in a colored cup with a lid and straw or spout.

Just remember high nutrition and low sugar. I will be blogging additional ideas for picky eaters. Eating healthy is important and can be fun if you are creative and not frustrated.

June 27, 2015

If you live in Pasco County or Pinellas County, Florida, the Area Agency on Aging, Pasco - Pinellas, Inc. has a Grandparent Caregiver Program to help you. The agency's NFCSP program includes services for kinship caregivers aged 55+ to assist them with being more effective caregivers for children under 18, or 19 and older with a documented disability. They have contracted with local legal services to help qualified grandparents with legal concerns. Most states and areas have no legal assistance for grandparents who are faced with legal issues while raising grandchildren. So this is a valuable resource. For more information visit their website. http://www.agingcarefl.org/grandparent-caregiver-program/

June 04, 2015

Depending on the situation, losing one’s lack of mobility can be a devastating life changing event, as in the case of an unexpected accident, whether it is a grandparent or thegrandchild they are raising. Or it could be a slow, gradual decline in the health of an aging individual. Either way, losing one’s independence - the ability to just get up and go - can be very stressful and depressing.

Taking a positive approach to a difficult situation will include determining what you can still do, rather than what you can no longer do. Of course being smart about what you can safely continue doing is very important. You must be very aware of what is simply dangerous and what is merely difficult.

When needed, using an electric wheelchair to get around and enjoy life sure beats staying at home 24/7, looking at the same scenery from your front room or bedroom windows, let alone not being able to accompany your grandchildren to their school events. Staying active and engaged is vital to one’s mental health, even if confined to an electric scooter.

My one and only personal experience with a motorized wheelchair was embarrassing and awkward. I was only 59 years old and had just gotten out of the hospital with a broken pelvis and my left arm in a cast. Right from the hospital my friend took me to a large store that had an in store pharmacy to get my pain medication. She could not pick it up for me, since it was a controlled substance. Of course since I couldn’t walk, I had to use the store’s motorized scooter. I had one hand that could function. That was all I really needed. Other people made it look so easy. Fortunately, this was a one-time experience for me because I bumped into people, product shelves, and made that loud awful back-up sound continually. I am sure I was actually a funny sight, but it wasn’t very funny at the time. Finally I just stayed put and let my friend do all the running around. I just signed for the medication.

This experience brings much admiration when I see someone else managing an electric wheelchair with ease and determination (I do realize they had to learn to maneuver it though). They have my greatest respect. Many physically challenged individuals (both adults and children) learn to develop amazing talents in other areas of life. They often even learn the most efficient way to do housework, garden work and especially computer work, of course depending on their abilities.

When a person is truly in need of an electric wheelchair or scooter, they may find assistance through Medicare or Medicaid if they are participants in those programs. Qualifying can be a bit tricky so be certain to communicate with a specialist in the area. As an industry leader in mobility products, Pride Mobility offers resources to help people learn about their funding options based on coverage. Visit PrideMobility.com to learn more.

May 25, 2015

People often confuse Veterans Day with Memorial Day. Veterans Day is a day to honor all veterans. Memorial Day is to honor those who died in a war. This brought to my mind a grandmother I interviewed a few years ago for an assignment for my master's degree. She was raising her grandson because her daughter (single mother) died in the military. The little boy was only 4 or 5 when his mother died, not really old enough to remember the date. However, every October (the month of his mother's death), he would have more meltdowns and behavior problems. His grandmother not only worried about his troubled behavior but grieved for her daughter. Memorial Day is a sad day for me. A close family friend was killed in Vietnam when I was 15 (still hurts my heart), and I have friends who are parents who lost their children in a war. I know I am being a downer right now but I feel their pain and it is sad. Some grandparents are raising grandchildren due to losing their own children to drugs, others are from losing them to war, or some are raising them for other hurtful reasons. Blessings to all parents and grandparents who have lost children.

Author of I LOVE YOU FROM THE EDGES: Lessons from Raising Grandchildren

A love story of raising my young granddaughters for several years, letting them capture my heart, my life, and my soul, and then having to give them back – resulting in a painful, yet spiritual journey of love, healing, and reunion.

May 14, 2015

Some like the word “mother,” others like the word, “mom” when it comes to who does what and what it all means. It is all semantics really. Does the word “mother” strike you as formal, cold, distant? Or does it mean glorious and beyond the reach of all other titles? Use whatever word you like; it really makes no difference, but to me the title “Mother” means the ultimate love, all nurturing, and all encompassing. The very essence of “mothering” is eternal. So I will use the word Mother, you use whatever suits you and brings you understanding and enlightenment. But to me becoming a mother is one step up from having the “mom” role.

Many women can fill the “mom role.” Whoever takes care of the children on a daily basis may be filling the role, whether it is the birth mom, foster mom, grandma, aunt, sister, neighbor, or even the dad. But the woman who persistently loves, protects, and teaches by example, one whose heart is always available becomes the true mother. Once you become a mother, you don’t un-become a mother. Mothering is not something that just happens when/if you give birth. Mothering is something you learn.

“Mothering” has taken a bad rap at times. Some may view it as hovering or interfering. That is not mothering. True mothering is creative and nurturing. True mothering is nonjudgmental. True mothering is honorable. Hopefully whoever takes on the “mom role” learns the art of true mothering. Being a mother is a life long journey that never ends.

May 11, 2015

There are some things that the passage of time inevitably affects. Anyone trying to keep pace with an energetic five-year-old will know that the reserves of stamina that we might once have been able to draw on are no longer quite what they were.

But there are some things that are less easy to handle when you are dealing with little ones than a simple lack of energy. A refreshing cup of something warm and comforting and a five-minute sit down can do wonders. But if the passing years have taken the edge off your hearing, that can be more testing. No amount of resting up is going to fix that.

The gradual and entirely normal lessening of our hearing, as we approach a certain age, means that it can be harder to distinguish between certain sounds and words, especially in the sort of noisy environments that children delight in. And aside from any background noise, there is something about kiddies’ speech that can occasionally make it difficult to know exactly what they are saying. And let’s not even begin to talk about teenage mumbling!

On the one hand, this is a good thing. Kids are supposed to catch us by surprise. They see a very different world to the one we do and it can take a fair bit of guesswork to get on their wavelength. And of course they don’t hold formal give-and-take, logically developing, conversations in the same way adults do. They’re a lot more free and easy than us in that way.

It is also fair to say that a little bit of weary goes a long way. A tired mind can make it all the more difficult to keep up the sort of attentive listening that youngsters so often demand. What is more, youngsters aren’t always the most accomplished communicators. You can find yourself worrying about your hearing quite needlessly if they persistently speak whilst facing away from you or when your attention is directed elsewhere.

There is no need to worry if sometimes the little ones leave you feeling a bit out in the cold. There are plenty of hearing specialists like this company who will be able to tell you precisely where your hearing is at. What is more, if you do find that you have a problem, modern technology means that there are all sorts of extremely discrete devices that can boost your hearing power.

It is inevitable that our faculties diminish over time, and coping with that makes its own demands on us. Struggling with the extra effort to concentrate that a slight loss of hearing calls for does take its toll. But if this sounds in any way familiar to you, be assured, it’s not just you. We all struggle to keep pace from time to time, and we all mishear occasionally. It is, for better or for worse, just the way we’re made. The good news is that we have it a heck of a lot better than our parents and grandparents ever did, even if they did work on the old fashioned basis that children should be seen and not heard.

May 10, 2015

There are many types of women who "mother" children and even adults in need. There are mothers who have given birth, foster mothers, grandmothers, step-mothers, aunts, sisters, and even teachers. This is a day to honor all women who care for others and foster maternal instincts in our society.

It can be a bitter-sweet day for many women. Greeting cards and flowers cannot begin to show the importance of and appreciation deserved by women who lovingly "mother" others. So Happy Mother's Day to all women who show motherly love to others.

April 23, 2015

Family Resource Centers of Northeastern Nevada has a state grant for respite childcare for grandparents age 55 and older who are raising their grandchildren without the help of the natural parents. It is also not based on the grandparent's income. Visit their website for more information about programs offered by Family Resource Center in Elko, NV.

March 07, 2015

Listen to my latest audio interview about the writing of my book I LOVE YOU FROM THE EDGES: Lesson from Raising Grandchildren. Interviewed by AuthorTalk, a production from Author House. Click on the numbers below.

February 26, 2015

Rosabella is a beautifully illustrated fairytale by Gabriele Rose de Ginant. The beautiful jacket cover - showing Rosabella dancing - makes it a lovely gift for a young girl of any age. The fairytale story tells how Rosabella's body was created by the Four Elements of the world - earth, air, water, and fire to be fitting for her radiant soul. Rosabella loves to dance and dances everywhere. However, she eventually has to face the fact that she is still missing her "dream." So she goes on a quest to discover her "dream." While this is not a book about any religion, it exhibits great spiritual depth. I am eager to share this book with my granddaughter Bella. I am also pleased that proceeds from Rosabella products support scholarships for developing artists, dancers, writers, actors and musicians of all ages.

As a grandmother I am always looking for stories and books to share with my grandchildren. I showed this book to my daughter (Mother of Bella) and she exclaimed, "Oh, I want to read that to Bella" (age 12). So either my daughter or I will read "Rosabella" to Bella.

February 12, 2015

If you are a grandparent or other relative raising a family member's child, you will enjoy a new blog by Kerry Thurlow called, Adventures with Bouncy and Chatterbox. Kerry has a really fun writing style which will bring a smile to your face. Check it out and prepare for some fun.

January 26, 2015

In our online Facebook support group we have been having a discussion about social security benefits for grandchildren who grandparents are raising. First let me explain, that I am not from the social security office and I am no expert. But I wanted to share what has been discussed. If you feel your grandchildren fit any of these situations, you call your local social security office and ask them.

1. If a parent has died, the child may be eligible for social security survivor benefits from the parent even when the grandparent is raising the child.

2. If the child is disabled, he/she may be eligible for social security disability payments.

3. If a grandparent is on social security for whatever reason and adopts a grandchildren, that child may also be eligible for social security payments based on the grandparents' status.

If you know of other reasons a child may qualify for social security benefits, feel free to leave a comment. When a grandparent is raising a grandchild, researching benefits can feel overwhelming. Having someone help you may be helpful when you feel like your whole world has turned upside down.

You must be willing to accept a Friend request from me and a private message telling me who you are. It is for everyone safety.

Karen Best Wright, B.S., M.A.

Author of I LOVE YOU FROM THE EDGES: Lessons from Raising Grandchildren

A love story of raising my young granddaughters for several years, letting them capture my heart, my life, and my soul, and then having to give them back – resulting in a painful, yet spiritual journey of love, healing, and reunion.

January 16, 2015

I have been asked to do a Book Review for a children's book written by Cheryl Sturm, "Have I Told You Today How Much I Love I Love You?

Sometimes it can be difficult to find an "I Love You" book for children where the type of caregiver is not set in stone. This is a short cute book for small children assuring them how much they are loved. I liked how the author used everyday items to help children to relate to "how much or how big things are." Objects starting with inches, feet, yard, miles, and even further than stars and planets and then ultimately no limit. This is a great book for grandparents or relatives raising children because it does not distinquish who is loving the child. A great little book for young children. Congratulations Cheryl Sturm, author.