when you ask a girl
about the kind of qualities that they look forin a guy, two qualities
pop up immediately: height and confidence.unfortunately, there isn't
much one can do about your height, for youhave to kinda accept what
you were given. but confidence, my friend, ISsomething that you
DO have control over. every
girl always says, "i want a guy who is confident, but NOTcocky".
they don't like cocky. but how do you know when the person
isconfident and when the person is cocky? well, i have posted
someguidelines one can follow to help aid you in the decision making
process.

1) DOES HE HAVE INTEGRITY? confident men are
also men of integrity.when you look at guys like Maximus from
"Gladiator", it was his integritythat added onto his confidence.
integrity is needed b/c confidence is oneof those qualities that
cannot be associated with "immoral things", for atruly confident
individual would never need to resort to stooping low.because
integrity is so important, all the manwhores, he-sluts, drugaddicts,
and car theives cannot be men of confidence. if theywere so
confident, they wouldn't need to rely on drugs, women, or fancycars to
make them feel important. the only exceptions are mike kim
andyuri kim, who are both confident men, yet still hold onto their
manwhorestatus.

2) CAN YOU MAKE FUN OF HIM? a truly
confident man is able to take ajoke. in other words, you should
be able to make fun of him or tease himabout his weaknesses and he
should be able to laugh with you. a cocky guytries to hide his
insecurities and therefore will either get defensivewhen you tease
him, or he will play it off as if it was no big deal butthen dwell
upon it later. cocky guys don't know how to take a
joke.

3) WHO SETS HIS STANDARDS? confident men set
their own standards,whereas cocky guys set their standards according
to how others are doing.in other words, a confident man will aim for
goals that he placed forhimself, whereas a cocky guy just wants to be
better than the peoplearound him. so a confident man might say,
"yeah, i can do that." but acocky guy will use comparisons and
might say something like "yeah, i'm theBEST at that" or "i am BETTER
than him at that". cocky guys need tocompare in order to feed
their insecurities and show that they are betterthan the next
guy.

4) DOES HE LIFT OTHERS UP? confident
men enjoy making other people feel good about themselves, too. they
can spot the strengths of another guyand praise them for it. a
cocky guy only seeks praise for himself andwill constantly compare his
strengths to another man's weaknesses.confident men are secure enough
to acknowledge that some people areactually better than them in
something.

5) IS HE TEACHABLE? confident men love to
learn. they know that thereare still many things that need
improvement in their lives and thereforeare eager to learn from
others, whether it deals with sports, hobbies, oreven how to interact
with other people. cocky guys, on the other hand,are not as
teachable b/c they have the mindset that they do not needimprovement
and are fine the way they are. they lack wisdom and arenot open
to taking advice. to them, their way is the right way, andeven
when they know that their way is wrong, they find a way to
justifyit. they are complacent and don't feel the need to expand
theirminds. see, confident guys are strong IN SPITE of their
weaknesses, butcocky guys are strong BECAUSE OF their strengths.
see the difference?

everybody has insecurities, but not everyone is insecure. you
canhave weaknesses without being weak. insecurity drives the
cocky man, buthumility drives the confident
man.

there is also
people who are deceivingly confident. they do thisby jokingly
acting cocky over stupid stuff by saying stuff like "i am theGREATEST
FOOSE BALL CHAMPION WHO EVER LIVED!" this is obviously a joke
and isn't to be taken seriously. a confident man is able to act
cockyonly when he knows that everyone listening is certain that his
claims areso far fetched that there is absolutely no truth behind his
claims. ifthere is any truth behind it, hes just straight up
cocky. so if you aregood at football and you claim to be the
best, you are being cocky, sincethere is truth behind
it.

BUT, do not be
fooled by false modesty, either. someone once saidthat man
refuses praise only so that he can hear it again. for
example,let's say that at home i have an indoor smokeless grill that i
have beengrilling steaks on for three years. let's say that,
hypothetically, Ibecame SO good at grilling filet mignons that they've
been known to tastebetter than any steak you could buy from any
restaurant. then let'sassume that someone tries my steak for the
first time and is like, "oh magosh, scott, your steak tastes sooooo
good! that's the best steak i everhad!" when i answer with
a "nah, it's really nothing...i suck." i mightbe being humble,
but i might also have FALSE MODESTY. this false modestyis
actually refusing praise only so that i can hear it again! cuz
thenyou'll be like "no really, it's soooo good!" thus, re-emphasizing
yourpoint and making my head even bigger. watch out for false
modesty, for itis even more dangerous than honest pride. at
least with honest pride,you are not deceiving people the way you do
when you use false
modesty.

but i think the
word "cocky" is misused too often. it's overprescribed.
and the word "confident" is used too little...even thoughthere aren't
many confident guys out there. especially asians.
anyways,to figure out whether the guy is cocky or confident, use these
guidelinesto figure it out. and if all else fails, just ask his
guy friends...theyprobably know the truth better than most girls,
since they see him withhis guard
down.

as for me, don't
even bother asking me which one i am. if i amcocky, i will
insist that i am confident, because only an idiot will admitto being
cocky. and if i AM confident, again i will still insistthat i am
confident, for i am telling the truth...but then you will thinki am
cocky for thinking that i am confident. so either way, my
answerwill be always be CONFIDENT (even though that may not be the
true answer)and b/c i will say i'm confident, you will ALWAYS
think i am COCKY. soit's a no-win situation for scott. (unless i
purposely say that i amcocky, in which case you might think i'm being
humble thereforeclassifying me as CONFIDENT. nevermind.)
get it? good. so don't ask me,okay?
=)