Trying to Avoid the Crib - 15 mth old

Ok so we have co-slept from day one and I LOVE it. When co-sleeping works for us its great but when its bad its REALLY bad. So in the past few weeks weve had these issues with our son

Not wanting to go to bed. He ends up crying himself to sleep with either myself or my husband there. This process takes at least one hour. He ends up going to sleep at 8:30 or 9

Waking up at 1am and refusing to go back to sleep until 3am - waking up at 7am

Escaping from the bed and crawling around the room

Throwing his pacifier out of the bed

Hes transitioning to one nap a day but it only lasts a little over an hour

Im worried about the lack of sleep hes getting. Hes eating well although we are going to try and cut back on sugary items. The only other thing I can think of is that he still hasnt started walking but hes been trying and I think it could happen any day now.

Can you guys help me brainstorm any ideas that might help me save our family bed? I feel that the crib at this point would feel like a punishment for something he cant help.

I don't have any grand solutions for you but wan't to point out that a crib will not solve the issue, just forces his behavior to a enclosed location.

OK a 15m old.....Ours boys have had what you describe (except the paci throwing!) It would happen a few times a months maybe but most of the week it is fine. I could mostly always 'blame' something that assed to the behavior visting someoen for dinner that night, new stuff that my husband and I are doing, 2 yr old molars, family conflict, new food etc. When I couldn't figure it out I tried to just give him the benifit of the doubt, it is not like he could tell me what is bothering him.
How often is this happening?
What bother's you the MOST...losing sleep, taking a long time to put him asleep, his anger at bedtime?
When he 'escapes' from the bed, where does he go? Is this where you see the crib working to help? If he it that energized he may well climb out of the crib or rattle it loudly.....

Tell us more! Right now my early waking babies are asleep and for some reason I am AWAKE!!! This part is very wrong!!

Comment

I think the point should be for everyone to sleep where they sleep the best. If your son would sleep better in a crib, than why not? You can always add extra snuggles and touch time during the day. As kids start getting older, sometimes we disturb their sleep as much as they can disturb ours.

I am a big fan of co-sleeping, but sometimes it just doesn't work for every child as long as we want. Maybe he could sleep in a toddler bed in your room even?

As for him fighting going to sleep, I only have a couple of ideas. Our daughter fought going to sleep for most of her short life (she is 2 and a half). It actually got better when we transitioned her out of our bed and into her toddler bed in her room (we did this slowly and gently). The first week was a little rough, but we stayed with her and kept the routine consistent and now she falls asleep in less than half an hour with no fighting (9 out of 10 nights, anyway). Once we got her Dora bedding, and waited until we thought she was ready emotionally, she never fought being in her bed. She actually quite enjoys it.

Those are my only thoughts. Good luck to you, I know how difficult sleep issues can be!

Jennifer

Comment

I love cosleeping! But there have been periods of time that either of my children didn't want to sleep with me. They preferred the crib or their own bed for a few weeks or even months, and later returned to wanting to sleep with us. It was hard, but I had to honor their needs for exploring independence and choice.

My three-year-old slept with us until about 14 or 15 months or so and then only wanted to sleep in her crib, transitioned to a big bed at 2 years old, and then about six months later, refused to sleep in her room. Now, she starts off in our bed and sometimes sleeps all the way thru with us and sometimes goes to her own bed in the middle of the night.

My two-year-old slept with me until about 9 months, and then would only sleep in her crib until 16 months or so, then came back to sleeping with me until 20 months, and now while she falls asleep with me, more often than not, at some point she tells me she wants to go to sleep in her own room.

I guess what I'm illustrating is, things are always changing and what works today for you child's sleeping arrangement may not in a few weeks or months. My children are exploring their ability to choose where to sleep. I think of it like how toddlers are when they're playing or exploring during the day. They'll run off to play with something/someone and then here and there run back to Mom or Dad for a quick cuddle.

Comment

I think what Im trying to solve first and foremost is his lack of sleep. Obviously I want sleep too but I see him get red-eyed and overtired and nevertheless he forces himself awake. I was hoping this was a phase but its lasting a good three weeks now with maybe one or two ok days here and there.

I would like to avoid the crib because my personal feelings about it are almost entirely negative and I have a hard time even visualizing him in there. Honestly Ill feel guilty about it. So I would like to at least hold out until I can get him into a toddler bed but I think hes too small right? Hes only 15 months.

And yes my main thought on the crib was to contain him which i think is a good thing about using a crib but if I could just get him to sleep and keep him asleep for a reasonable amount of time then he wont do all the other crazy stuff. I would def put aside my crib phobia if it would help him though.

In the meantime Im running down the checklist of things I can do like make sure he eats a heavy meal before bed. Sometimes I think his bath may be almost too stimulating. Any thoughts on that? I may try to turn off all tvs and noises maybe an hour before bed. Talk him for a walk...? Massage? Im grasping here!

Comment

Rita
Thats really interesting. My son has never slept in a crib and the few times we tried to put him in a pack in play he got upset. Im wondering did you have the crib in another room or in your room. Im not really sure how he would react now. Im nervous to even try to tell you the truth...

Comment

a child never needs a crib. think about it, what did they do before cribs were invented? a mattress on the floor is sufficient at any age, place pillows all the way around in case he scoots off. you can give him his own space in your room, make sure the room is securely childproof, and let him explore as he needs to.