Natural Birth Control: The Fertility Awareness Method, Explained

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. I encourage you to do your own research in partnership with a trusted health care provider. This blog post is intended to provide informative and helpful information based on my experience and research. This post contains affiliate links; it is not a sponsored post. Wink for giveaway was provided by Kindara, but this is not a sponsored post and that all facts, thoughts, opinions, experiences, and advice within the post are solely my own.

Start with this book

I’ve been working on this post for five full months. Five months! In all the years I’ve blogged, this is easily the longest I’ve ever spent on a single post. The reason? I have gone around and around hundreds of times about how to share all of the information and resources and knowledge I have on this subject. The reality, however, is that I can’t do that in one blog post. But there’s a book that does.

If you are interested in your fertility, your cycle, natural birth control, getting pregnant, or reproductive health to any degree, read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. This has long been called the fertility bible, and is so well known in the natural birth control/trying to conceive community that it’s often referred to as simply TCOYF.

Aside from the actual Bible, this is the most life-changing book I’ve ever read. In fact, I believe that every woman would greatly benefit from the information in this book! If I could change any one thing about health education in America, it would be to include this book as mandatory reading for young women (and men!) in school. Even if you’re not interested in the Fertility Awareness Method, I highly encourage you to read TCOYF.

As women, we aren’t properly taught how our bodies work outside of our anatomy (if that). I know this to be true because many of my highly educated friends make frequent comments that are scientifically inaccurate. Let’s explore a few!

Common women’s health myths

“I went on the pill to regulate my period.”

Women don’t ovulate on the pill–that’s what prevents pregnancy (no ovulation=no chance of pregnancy)–and therefore don’t have a menstrual cycle. This means that women do not actually get their period while on hormonal birth control, except for on extremely rare occasions when ovulation occurs (this is how a tiny percentage of women on the pill become pregnant). The bleeding that women on hormonal birth control experience is only “withdrawal bleeding” and was “built” into birth control (by two male doctors in the 50s) to mimic a woman’s natural cycle. Why? Because the doctors felt that “having a period” would make women on birth control feel more “acceptable.” (Source)

“Women ovulate on the 14th day of their cycle.”

Though ovulation may happen on day 14, it could happen on day 10, 18, or 37. (This is why the Rhythm Method has such a high failure rate, and also why many couples who intentionally “time their intercourse” around day 14 often don’t get pregnant.)

“Sperm only live for three days in the vagina.”

Actually, sperm can survive for up to five days if fertile cervical fluid is present. This is how some women have sex while menstruating and conceive–the sperm survived until ovulation (which likely occurred quite early in her cycle), and she became pregnant.

…and those are just some of the myths I’ve heard! (Don’t get me started on people who think women have the same likelihood of getting pregnant any day of the month!) Taking Control of Your Fertility author Toni Weschler goes into detail about why these myths exist, why the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) is absent from medical school curriculum, the hairy politics and profit problems behind natural contraception, and the “perpetual cycle of ignorance” surrounding women’s reproductive health–so read the TCOYF book (and check out the other resources listed below) and get informed!

My experience with hormonal birth control

My relationship with hormonal birth control began in high school. Though I was not sexually active at the time, my periods were heavy, painful, and irregular. My doctor recommended the birth control pill to “regulate my cycle,” and not knowing any better, I went on it. Though my period became “more regular” (because I stopped getting it…read above for more) and my cramps subsided (because I wasn’t getting a period), I gained a lot of weight and experienced many other unpleasant side effects. After about a year, I took myself off of it. Even with the limited knowledge of women’s reproductive health that I did have, I knew that my body felt very “off” and it freaked me out enough to stop taking the pill.

I then went through the rest of high school, college, and the first couple of years post-grad birth control-free. I felt great. I lost the weight I had gained, I became a little more in tune with my cycle, and I felt healthy. After I got engaged, though, I headed back to the gynecologist to get on birth control before my wedding. I didn’t know I had another option and we weren’t ready for babies right away. A quick five minute consultation later and I had a prescription for the pill. This was in late January, so I started on birth control at the beginning of February. (My wedding was in July–we didn’t have sex until we were married–and I was advised to get on the pill sooner than later to maximize its efficacy.)

Health-wise, that February on the pill was one of the worst months of my life. I felt nauseous all the time. I was sick all the time. I was bloated and uncomfortable. I had terrible headaches. I felt anything but myself. I felt absolutely horrible. By mid-February I knew that the pill wasn’t going to work long-term. There was no way I could commit to feeling so poorly for the rest of my fertile years!

“Given that women are fertile only a few days a cycle, it’s ironic that they’re the ones who risk the vast array of side effects and physical ramifications of birth control. These include increased risk of blood clots, strokes, breast cancer, irregular spotting, severe pelvic inflammatory disease or uterine perforation, heavy and crampy periods, urinary tract infections, cervical inflammation, and allergic reactions to spermicides and latex, to name a few. And for what? To protect themselves from a man, who produces millions of sperm per hour!” -TCOYF, pg. 12

I remember opening up my laptop one evening that month and crossing my fingers that I could find an alternative. At the time, I was a 23 year old college-educated woman and I had never heard of any type of natural birth control in my life. There is something severely wrong with that, but that’s a soapbox speech for another time.

In looking for something effective and natural, I came across the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). At first, I was totally overwhelmed and couldn’t make sense of it. Everything was completely new information to me. I had no idea–not even the slightest clue–how my body really worked. Not only did I learn that there was, in fact, a scientifically accurate way to prevent pregnancy, I also learned more about hormonal birth control–and with the information I learned, I knew it was not right for me.

I believe that information is power, so I encourage you to do your own research and make your own decisions with regards to your reproductive health. Here are some resources I found particularly helpful:

I am not here to tell you what method of birth control is right for you! I am, however, encouraging you to put in the time and do the research. Look into the form of birth control you’re using (or considering). Be informed so that you can make the right decision for you and your body. Information breeds knowledge and knowledge breeds power. An empowered woman is informed and knows her options. Empower yourself!

What is the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM)? (Natural birth control)

“Fertility awareness is simply a means of understanding human reproduction. It is based on the observation and charting of scientifically proven fertility signs that determine whether or not a woman is fertile on any given day. The three primary fertility signs are waking temperature, cervical fluid, and cervical position (the last one being an optional sign that simply corroborates the first two). FAM is an empowering method of natural birth control or pregnancy achievement, and it is an excellent tool for assessing gynecological problems and understanding your body.” -TCOYF, pg. 4

The three primary fertility signs FAM tracks

In short, a woman practicing FAM knows whether she is fertile or not based on three primary fertility signs; two are non-negotiable for the method, the third is optional. They are:

Waking temperature (also called basal body temperature, or BBT)

Cervical fluid

Cervical position (optional)

I’ll explain how the three of these signs work together, but please understand that I am writing in very broad terms! Should you choose to practice FAM, you must read Taking Charge of Your Fertility in order to fully understand the “rules” of the method.Do not try FAM without first reading this book in its entirety! I am going to offer a brief overview of the method here, but you will need to read TCOYF before using the method. I can’t be clear enough here: do not attempt to practice FAM without first reading TCOYF.

1. Waking temperature (also called basal body temperature)

Every morning, I take my basal body temperature (BBT) before getting out of bed, eating, drinking, talking, anything. My alarm dings, I turn it off, and I pop my thermometer in my mouth. Because I use a Wink, which was created for FAM and automatically syncs to Kindara, the app I use to chart my cycle, all I have to do is wait for my thermometer to vibrate, signaling that my temperature has been recorded and sent to my phone. Before I started using a Wink, I would note the temperature on the basal body thermometer (I used this one) and record it in my Kindara app manually.

Throughout a woman’s cycle, her waking temperature will change and fluctuate. Preovulatory temperatures are lower, while postovulatory temperatures are higher. Based on the temperature shift, a woman can confirm ovulation. The thermal shift is a result of the heat-inducing hormone progesterone.

2. Cervical fluid

I’ve never heard a single woman in “real life” talk about cervical fluid, not even my gynecologist. However “weird” it is to discuss, the reality is that almost all ovulating women experience various kinds of cervical fluid throughout their cycles.

“Virtually all ovulating women experience an observable pattern of changes in their cervical fluid throughout their cycles. Once they learn to recognize these subtle differences, they realize that interpreting the pattern is really very simple. When a woman is extremely fertile, her cervical fluid becomes wet and humid.

[…] Indeed, as you approach ovulation, the slippery eggwhite cervical fluid most women experience can feel so slick that you may have a sensation of slip-slidding on your underwear as you sit down.

Just as some women may initially balk at the idea of taking their temperature every morning, there are others who react similarly to the idea of checking their cervical fluid before urinating. But when you think about it, it only takes a second to touch the outside of your vagina, then feel its quality between your fingers.

For those of you who think of yourselves as too squeamish to do any of this, all I can say is that once you’ve checked a couple of times, you realize it’s really no big deal.” -TCOYF, pg. 84

On my charting app (Kindara), the cervical fluid options are None, Sticky, Creamy, Eggwhite, or Watery. I simply log my cervical fluid sometime during each day into the app, and alongside my temperatures, I am able to tell when I’m fertile and when I’m not (more in the charts below).

3. Cervical position

Though I do not personally track my cervical position, there are many women who do. (It’s especially helpful for women whose cervical fluid or temperatures aren’t easy to interpret.)

“As you approach ovulation, your cervix tends to rise, soften, and open. It progresses from feeling firm like the tip of your nose (when not fertile) to feeling soft like your lips as you approach ovulation. Your cervix will drop abruptly into the vagina when estrogen levels fall, and progesterone becomes dominant after ovulation. By simply inserting your clean middle finder, you can detect these subtle changes.” -TCOYF, pg. 94

What a charted cycle looks like

When all three of these fertility indicators are put together, here’s what a typical charted cycle looks like. This is on the Kindara app, which is what I use. Some women chart using other apps or by hand on paper–whatever works for you is great!

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

To briefly explain: the blue line indicates a woman’s waking temperatures. The numbers in the blue circles are counting the days in her luteal phase, which is the phase after ovulation. The pink and gray bars indicate cervical fluid–how much and what type.

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

As a woman tracks both her waking temperature and cervical fluid (and optionally, her cervix), she will be able to identify her fertile window, confirm ovulation, and know when she’s infertile. Cervical fluid tells you when your fertile window opens, and your waking temperatures tell you when it closes! The two signs work together.

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

The red hearts indicate unprotected sex (this woman was clearly trying to conceive). A red outlined heart indicates protected sex. The P indicates a woman’s “Peak Day of fertility,” or her last day of fertile cervical fluid before ovulation.

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

Below the chart, there are places to optionally track your cervix, ovulation predictor kit results, pregnancy tests, and the option to add your own trackable items. For example, I’ve added things like “Exercise,” “Anxiety,” “Moody,” and “Sick” to my charts. That way, I can mark if I’ve exercised, experienced anxiety, felt moody, or been sick on any given day. Tracking these things alongside my fertility helps me stay in tune with my body.

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

By tracking her fertility signs and reading her chart, a woman can make decisions about when to have sex and whether to use a barrier method or not. She can time intercourse around ovulation to either try to conceive or avoid conception. Let’s talk about charting for the purpose of birth control!

The 4 rules of charting for birth control

There are four rules a woman and her partner must observe in order to effectively avoid pregnancy when using FAM. They are, in brief overview:

1. First five days rule

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

A woman is considered infertile during the first five days of her cycle. (More info.)

2. Dry day rule

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

On the evening of any day that a woman has observed no cervical fluid, she is considered infertile. (More info.)

3. Peak plus four rule

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

A woman is considered infertile on the evening of the fourth day after her most fertile cervical fluid and once she has observed a clear temperature shift (and cervical fluid has become infertile again). (More info.)

4. Temperature plus three rule

image via Kindara.com, used with permission

On the third evening after a woman’s temperature shift, she is considered infertile. (More info.)

These rules may seem complicated or confusing at first glance, but I assure you that once you’ve charted three or four cycles, you’ll know them like the back of your hand. Additionally, the more you understand your body and its cues, the more they’ll make sense to you. (I can now quickly glance at my chart and interpret it within a few seconds, but when I first started practicing FAM, it took me a little longer.)

My experience using FAM

I have learned to trust and listen to my body because of FAM. It has changed my life. I can tell you, on any given day of the month, whether I’m in my menstrual, follicular, ovulatory, or luteal phase. I can tell you about how many days until I’ll ovulate or how many days it’s been since I’ve ovulated. (I can actually feel when I ovulate thanks to a phenomenon called mittelschmerz!) I can tell you when my period is coming and when it will end. For the first time in my life, I know my body. It is so, so freeing and beautiful!

When I feel run-down and tired, I don’t immediately wonder if I’m sick–I wonder whether I’m in my menstrual or luteal phase, when it’s common to feel that way because of shifting hormones. I am in tune with my body and use my cycle to benefit me by planning projects, meetings, and trips around it. Amazing stuff, right? (A great explanation of planning life around a woman’s cycle phase here.)

“With FAM, couples can experience the freedom of effective contraception without devices, chemicals, or side effects for most of the cycle.” -TCOYF, pg. 16; emphasis mine

I never felt free on the pill. I felt completely out of control. Now, I feel free. I feel healthy. I know what’s going on with my body and why. All the good feelings aside, FAM works. We’ve been married for two years next month and have successfully avoided pregnancy for the duration of that time.

We’re not anxious every month wondering if I’m pregnant, either. We know I’m not! I don’t know how to say this without sounding crass, but these were our first two years of marriage–we have put this method to the test! It requires diligence and commitment, but when done correctly, it works beautifully.

Additionally, when we are ready to get pregnant, FAM will be massively helpful in identifying when I’m fertile so we can time intercourse accordingly.

The FAM community of women

I’m a member of a FAM group on Facebook with over 11,000 other women, and the cover photo reads:

“Fertility awareness is not conservative. It’s not liberal, hippie-ish, or Christian. It’s not exclusively for environmentalists or vegans, Catholics or Muslims, the rich or the poor. Fertility awareness is an essentially human project by which a woman learns to interpret the signs of her body that indicate her fertility. It is therefore a form of self-knowledge that empowers couples to achieve or avoid pregnancy without reliance on artificial technology. It enables women to recognize any reproductive health issues they may have. It is a deep respect for the human body, and as such, it is for all women, everywhere.” (I wish I knew who wrote this; there is no author listed.)

That absolutely sums it up. After that horrible February on the pill, I started charting using FAM in March 2015. I have found nothing but acceptance, kindness, and empowerment in the FAM community since then.

I’m in Facebook groups and on forums, and I have observed nothing but complete respect and thoughtful information shared among women of all backgrounds from all over the world. So, if for whatever reason, you’ve decided that FAM isn’t for you because of X or Y, let me assure you that it can be for you if you want it to be. The online community of women surrounding FAM is beautiful, inclusive, and uplifting and has taught me so, so much.

What other women practicing FAM are saying

I reached out to my FAM sisters in the Facebook group mentioned above and asked what their experience using FAM has been. I was blown away by the responses. Here’s what was shared:

“FAM has empowered me by giving me the tools to learn about my body and take ownership of my fertility. It makes me feel like I have a super power.” -Anna, age 26

“After 2 traumatic births during which my physical and moral integrity were violated, I was completely disempowered and spent the first years blaming my body for not working properly. Then I blamed myself for making bad decisions that prevented it from working properly. Bottom line, my body and I were completely disconnected. FAM has helped me reconnecting with it regaining the control that I surrendered. Relying solely on myself to prevent pregnancy is the most empowering thing I have experienced in my life.” – Eli, age 36

“I wish I had known about FAM earlier! Countless false pregnancy tests, ovary pain, numerous HBC [hormonal birth control] methods, wasted money, and unnecessary OBGYN visits had left me feeling in the dark about my body. Doctors didn’t seem to know how to help me in many situations that FAM handles like a piece of cake. I now don’t feel the need to run to my OBGYN about every little thing. I can easily see what’s going on with my body by charting. I feel free with FAM and my body is so happy without the hormones. It’s so unfortunate that it isn’t taught in schools during sex-ed. I know it’s something I’ll instill in my daughters!” – Hannah, age 24

“FAM helped me discover a hormonal imbalance that was easily corrected before I had to go through any losses or difficulties getting pregnant.” -Jeanette, age 34

“FAM has not only empowered me in ways nothing else has, it has made my relationship with my partner stronger, and shown me what my passion in life is, I’m now almost qualified to be an instructor! I’m grateful for the day I found FAM, it’s the best choice for me.” – Justyna, age 22

“After experiencing severe physical and mental illnesses due to the birth control implant, I never wanted to introduce another synthetic hormone into my body again. That’s when I came across FAM. FAM has given me the ability to ditch hormonal birth control, learn more about my body than I ever have or thought possible, and free me from worrying about whether I will get my period or not each month. FAM will be invaluable later in life when I am TTC [trying to conceive]. It has changed my life and the way I see fertility forever!” – Jordan, age 22

“Love this! When I discover FAM in college, I was experiencing debilitating cramps, fatigue, acne, moodiness, all the lovely PMS side effects! Through learning about my body, I was able to determine what was wrong and how to fix it naturally. I never used hormonal birth control, nor did I have any desire to, but FAM gives me the confidence I need to delay pregnancy for now until my husband and I are ready for kids. Now I’m a user of the FEMM protocol and a certified FEMM teacher as well!” -Mairead, age 23

“I am young, ambitious, and FAM is the best thing for me. My boyfriend of 2 years and I have big plans for these next 10 years and cannot risk a pregnancy. FAM has allowed us to take charge, know when it is risky, and avoid an unplanned pregnancy successfully. On top of that, I know that I am being proactive about my reproductive health and healing my womb after years of pain and discomfort with an IUD. When we are ready, we can start a healthy family. FAM is the foundation to a healthy woman, a healthy child, and the opportunity for me to fully focus on my career in my 20’s. I was so relieved to learn that FAM was an option, and in fact the best option for me and tens of thousands of other women around the world.” -Pandora, age 19

“FAM is incredibly empowering. It gave me information about my own body that no one had ever told me, and it showed me how to use that information to avoid or achieve pregnancy (and even just to maintain my own health). When I used it as birth control, I no longer had the heavy cramps and heavy bleeding that I had had for the past 7 years with my Paragard IUD. It never made me gain weight and bleed for weeks and weeks as I did from the Depo Provera shot. It didn’t make me throw up on the first day of the new birth control pills as I had before using the IUD and Depo. And it helped me to successfully avoid pregnancy for a year until I was ready to start using that information to get pregnant (which happened right away, partially because of the information I had gained about how my own body worked).” -Michelle, age 30

“FAM has blown my mind – I cannot believe no one ever taught us this stuff in high school sex-ed classes. The biology of it all is fascinating and something every woman deserves the opportunity to learn about.” – Jessie, age 28

“FAM has given me some sense of control in the quagmire that is secondary infertility. I feel empowered by the knowledge which helps with the grief.” -Stephanie, age 32

“The first 2.5 years of my marriage, I was on hormonal birth control with little to no sex drive. FAM has allowed me to continue to avoid pregnancy until we’re ready, while allowing my libido to go back to normal so I can fully enjoy the intimate side of our relationship!!! 😉 I’ll never go back!” – Lauren, age 25

“FAM opened my eyes to how little I knew about my body, even AFTER giving birth! I am so glad someone encouraged me to become educated about my own fertility because I feel so empowered now!” -Stephanie, age 30

“I grew up with a paralyzing fear of sex because of the possibility of an unintentional pregnancy before I was ready. But I also knew in my gut that hormonal birth control and invasive devices (IUDs or implants) were NEVER for me. Using FAM feels like knowing an incredibly powerful secret – yet it shouldn’t be a secret! Now I can confidently say that I’ve left my fears behind and I fully understand my body. I can read my body as easily as a book because I’ve learned to speak its language. I know when I’m fertile, when I’m infertile, and when I can expect my period, once I’ve experienced ovulation in a cycle. I’m proud of my healthy body and proud of myself for taking charge! Best of all, this knowledge will serve me throughout my entire life time.” – Megan, age 25

“I wish I had knowledge of FAM growing up. I was convinced I was pregnant every cycle as a teenager because I knew I didn’t want to go with hormonal birth control. As someone who is somewhat of a hypochondriac and catastrophizer, I was always convinced as a teenager I had some sort of infection based on what I now know is cervical mucus, despite doctor’s visits (who never explained it, either!). I now feel incredibly empowered, and it makes me tear up thinking about how much this information would have helped me as a teenager, and at the possibility of providing any potential future daughters with these tools. I love feeling like I have the knowledge to be in control of my fertility!” -Leanna, age 27

“I’m so angry that I struggled with finding a hormonal birth control that worked for me for a decade before finding out about FAM. The discovery coincided with my meeting my now husband, and almost a year into our relationship, we embarked on our FAM journey and had my IUD removed. About three months later, he commented, rather abruptly one night, that he hadn’t seen me cry or get upset irrationally for a couple months. I hadn’t realized how much the hormones impacted my day to day life. Three years later, we have successfully avoided pregnancy and hope to start trying to conceive next year using FAM. I feel so much more in tune with my body than I ever have before, and he has a better understanding as well. I’ve even heard him talking to his friends about it and how amazing it is. I love that it has improved our communication and brought us closer together, and that I have control over my own fertility without relying on doctors and prescriptions. If I have a daughter, this information will absolutely be passed on.” -Kacey, age 31

“FAM has relieved the anxiety and depression I suffered while using HBC [hormonal birth control] and has empowered me with a knowledge of myself I didn’t have before. I have a newly discovered appreciation for my period and my body’s reproductive system, and I’m so happy to know I can confidently avoid pregnancy without relying on an external source to do it for me.” Georgia, age 24

FAQs about FAM

But does it actually work?

Yes, it does. FAM has just a 0.4% failure rate (with perfect use) and a 1.6% failure rate (with typical use) (source). As far as my personal experience, we’ve been practicing FAM for about two years (since July 2015), and have successfully avoided pregnancy each month. Read this article, “Charting to Avoid Pregnancy” for more information.

Isn’t this Natural Family Planning (NFP)?

It’s close, but it’s not the exact same thing. As Weschler writes in TCOYF, “The primary distinction between FAM and NFP is that those who use NFP choose to abstain rather than use barrier methods of contraception during the woman’s fertile phase.” Basically, FAM users may use condoms, a diaphragm, or another barrier method during a woman’s fertile phase and still engage in sex, while couples practicing NFP will abstain from sex altogether.

Isn’t this the Rhythm Method?

Absolutely not. 100% no. Not even a little bit! This is a huge misconception! The Rhythm Method is highly ineffective because it falsely assumes that every woman ovulates on the 14th day of her cycle and starts her period on the 28th. This method doesn’t account for potential variation on the day of ovulation and thus is not at all recommended as an effective means of avoiding pregnancy. Many people wrongly associate FAM with the Rhythm Method, but the two methods are completely different.

In fact, the CDC currently lists the typical use failure rate of fertility awareness based methods (FABMs) as 24% (source) because the study this statistic is based on lumps all FABMs–from FAM to Rhythm–together. When broken down, FAM has just a 0.4% failure rate (with perfect use) and a 1.6% failure rate (with typical use). That’s a huge discrepancy! (More here.)

What if I have PCOS?

Charting with PCOS can often be challenging. I know quite a few women who do chart with PCOS, though, so it is possible. Read this article for more information on practicing FAM/charting with PCOS.

What if my cycles are anovulatory and/or irregular?

For many women with anovulatory and/or irregular cycles, charting using FAM provides valuable information about their health; often times, this information can help identify a problem (i.e. low estrogen or progesterone), which is a great first step in finding a solution. For more information, read the following articles: “Anovulation and breakthrough bleeding” and “Avoiding Pregnancy in Irregular Cycles.”

How do I transition from hormonal birth control to FAM?

When coming off of hormonal birth control, a woman’s cycles are usually a little crazy! (Mine were off-kilter for a few months after just one month on the pill.) Watch this video for more information on transitioning.

It is typically recommended that couples use a barrier method (or abstain from sex) full-time for at least three complete cycles before practicing FAM for birth control (rules listed above). That way, a woman’s cycle has time to regulate, she can learn her body’s signals, and she can familiarize herself with her fertility and FAM.

What if I want to get pregnant?

Charting is awesome for trying to conceive because it can help you read your body’s fertility signs and let you know when you’re fertile. If you’re able to time intercourse around ovulation, your chances of getting pregnant are much higher than random, untimed intercourse. I have several friends who have gotten pregnant on their first try because of FAM! Read this article and check out this conception chart for more information.

Giveaway!Giveaway Closed

I’m giving away a brand new Kindara Wink Basal Body Thermometer and a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility (bundled together–one winner!). To enter, click here or use the Rafflecopter widget below!

The Wink was provided by Kindara for the purpose of this giveaway; I purchased the copy of TCOYF.

Comments

I recently read TCOYF because I am very interested in coming off the pill! However, I left feeling very overwhelmed and nervous to transition from HBC to natural birth control (we want to practice NFP eventually). Despite feeling pretty yucky on the pill and feeling like my body is not under control, I still haven’t made the leap. This post has broken it down for me and given me the desire to re-read the book and give it another go!

Blair, This post took so much courage to write. It’s scary to be so vulnerable on the internet and you’ve done it beautifully. Everyone’s journey with prevention and trying to conceive is different and sharing your experience is eye-opening and interesting. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

I was on the pill for YEARS (nine years actually) and last year decided to come off of it. My husband and I have been married for five years now and within the next two years would like to become pregnant, I could see this method helping tremendously. I have never heard of this method and your post was SO informative! Thank you for all of your hard work and dedication! I’m going to spend some time doing some research!

This method will be hugely helpful when you try to conceive. It’s one of the many reasons why I was so drawn to it; I’m in tune with my cycle, which can help me prevent OR achieve pregnancy. Versatile! 🙂

I have been on hormonal birth control since I was 18, because I had irregular periods and my doctor suggested it. Man, do I remember the intense nausea and mood swings from when I was first taking it. After 7 years of taking the pill, I don’t feel like myself! I have struggled with depression and anxiety and was prescribed antidepressants and some other pills to help with my mood… but now I wonder if it is my hormonal birth control that is causing the issue! I’ve been becoming more “crunchy” lately– using essential oils and wanting to cut toxins out of my life and body– so I think FAM would be a good decision for me. I’ll be talking to my husband tonight about FAM!

I am so with you on this! I am constantly telling my husband that I don’t feel like myself and question whether my emotional issues are related to the pill! I feel like I could have written this comment! 🙂

I’m not a doctor, but I would definitely consider looking into FAM if I were you! In the FAM Facebook group I’m in, I’ve heard a dozen or more women share an experience similar to yours. (A couple shared in the “What other women practicing FAM are saying” section above.) Hope you’re able to feel healthy and well soon enough. xoxo

I used FAM prior to having kids and to get pregnant the first time. I am a HUGE HUGE fan. And I wish they had had the Wink and Kindara app when I was using it!! One thing that I would add here is that you MUST sleep a block of 4 hours to get an accurate BB temp. MUST.

This is nearly impossible for new moms. And FAM must be done right to work. I always caution my new mom friends about this.

I switched to the minipill after my first (and got pregnant on it because I didn’t do it right–again, see no sleep, makes things tough) and then got an IUD after my second. Now that the IUD is almost up, I might switch back to FAM because although the IUD is SO easy (and I needed that the last few years–trust me) I would like to get back off the hormones.

I had heard of this method before but thought it was way more complicated than it actually seems. I am super intrigued to learn more because after having my son I don’t want to get back on the pill after reading so many negative things about it. Thank you for this super informative post and for making it seem simple and doable.

Yes! The limited education is so frustrating. Now that I understand my body, I want every woman to understand hers too. There’s such knowledge and freedom in being in tune! Thanks for reading and commenting, Kathryn! xo

That is really interesting! I have been considering stopping birth control for months – I’m more unsettled about the long-term side effects. I’m going to begin tracking my cycle first just to get a better taste of what this would be like. Thanks for the good info.

Hey Tracy! Women’s bodies are fascinating! 😉 You can practice taking your temperature everyday while you’re still on the pill, but you won’t see a “typical” cycle until you’re off it. I recommend starting by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility! Good luck!

I honestly have never heard of this method, but it is truely fascinating to me. Anything to avoid artificial hormones is a win in my book. I will be reading TCOYF. Thank your for your information and willingness to share!

I have been looking forward to this post for quite a while! I have had several horrible experiences with birth control and I am very interested in learning more about FAM. Thank you for your openness and transparency. I did not know that something like this even existed!

I didn’t know FAM existed until I was so sick on the pill that I had to look for another option! I desperately wish it was taught in schools or was more common knowledge among women. We should know how our bodies work! I hope you’re able to read TCOYF! Thanks for commenting. 🙂 xo

I’ve been on birth control for a couple of years now–I was prescribed the pill because of irregular, painful periods, like you. I would LOVE to get off of BC because I hate the side effects, but the last time I tried, I got the most painful cystic acne of my life and my doctor told me to just restart the pill. I’m going to read TCOYF–hoping it has some helpful things to say about getting off the pill and understanding how my body actually works 🙂

I found this post to be very interesting and I would love to read the book to learn more! I’m not married nor sexually active, but I have many friends who are married and are on birth control. Every friend I’ve talked to about this doesn’t like being on the pill, but when I bring up the possibility of a natural method they don’t see it as a realistic possibility because a) they don’t truly believe it’s really effective and b) it seems like too much work to track/they’re worried they’ll do it wrong.

I 100% agree that it’s crazy how little us women are taught about our bodies – knowledge is power! The last thing a woman needs to feel is scared or confused of her body. Thanks for writing this post Blair! 🙂

Hey Mandy! I hear all the time how natural methods “don’t work.” It always makes me laugh–because, yes, this one actually does. (I’m living proof!) I highly recommend reading TCOYF and informing yourself now–I’ve turned several of my single/not sexually active friends on to FAM and they love tracking their cycles for reasons other than pregnancy avoidance/achievement, like knowing exactly when their periods will arrive and identifying possible hormone imbalances. “The last thing a woman needs to feel is scared or confused of her body.” AMEN, sister! 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting.

After I got engaged two years ago, I set up an appointment with my doctor to talk about starting the pill. I have been on the pill for a little over a year now. Although I have no side effects ( that I can tell) from the pill, it is not something I really want to be on long term. This information is so helpful and really makes me want to dig in and learn more about this method!

I’ve been looking forward to this post since you first mentioned it!! I’ve seen TedTalks about how a woman predicted her due date more accurately than her doctor using basal temperatures, and now reading your post, I totally believe in this method!! Wow, how cool to be able to take such powerful ownership of your own body. Thanks for sharing!!

I’m intrigued to read the book and know more. I really really do not want children so fear of having a baby has been my biggest motivator behind going on birth control. I’ve been on the Pill since high school, for ovarian cysts. But since being switched to a new kind of Pill 2 years ago, I’ve been having horrible libido. Everything else has been feeling fine though. My doctor and I have moved me to a lower dose Pill but I might bring this up with her when I go back in October.

Hey Alison! Thanks for reading and commenting. I highly recommend reading TCOYF and getting informed. Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that your doctor will recognize FAM as a legitimate method for BC. (At least, that’s been my experience and the experiences of many of the women in the FB group mentioned above.) You’ll have to make the right decision for you, but if you read TCOYF, at least you’ll be informed! Best of luck xo

Ah! I’m so excited that you posted about this after hearing about it for so long. As a newlywed, I would love nothing more than to transition off of the pill after being on it almost continuously for eleven years. I was on an acne medicine called Accutane that required me to take the pill due to birth defect side effects (and to legally protect the company). Sadly, I didn’t feel like I had the freedom until I was in college due to mood swings. I was off of it for six months a few years back, and never felt better! I’m so excited to start researching more myself, but your post was so helpful. And I definitely value your opinion and testimony of this method! <3

We are expecting our first child in November, and I’ve been trying to decide what birth control method to use afterward. I didn’t experience any strong side effects from the pill, but once I learned all the ways it prevents pregnancy (as in, sometimes not allowing the fertilized egg to attach, which breaks my heart) it absolutely freaks me out. I had heard of charting but never as birth control – only for women who were trying to get pregnant. Thanks for all the hard work on this!!

Blair! Thank you so much for writing this. Growing up in a very conservative family, women’s Heath was NEVER discussed. It was just the price you paid for being a women. Whole health was not something I learned about until I got to college. I slogged my way through as much education as I could before getting married and landed on the ring 2 years ago. It hasn’t been awful but I know I’m not the same person on the ring than I would be NOT on the ring and I’m ready to go back to being me. Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share something so personal and close to your heart.

I’m so glad you’ve shared this. I agree with you that more women should know about how their body works- I was amazed and proud when I used the FAM method. I hate using hormones, but since baby, it’s a little more complicated (breastfeeding, etc). Also, I was using when I conceived (not accidental, I knew pregnancy was a possibility when it happened), so I knew exactly the due date- no guessing! 😉

I hope to start using it again soon, and your post has encouraged me to try it once again. That thermometer sounds AMAZING!

I have wondered how I am different on the pill than if I wasn’t using it. I feel normal but there’s the underlying thought of a possible correlation between the pill and other parts of me and my body. Your words are inspiring and I certainly want to check this out as an option for me.

I would love to win this giveaway! it’s a new adventure for me and I want to learn and educate myself as much as I can! I believe this giveaway will give me the necessary tools to help me become more aware of my own body!

Ever since you first posted about this, I’ve been so interested to see what you had to say! I’ve been thinking about getting off hormonal birth control for a while and this was a great intro to this method- I have some reading to do!

What a great blogpost! I started using Kindara to chart my cycles before getting married and we used FAM from the start of our marriage. It has been an AMAZING way for us to avoid pregnancy this first year. I was’t entirely confident with it at the beginning but my husdand and I have followed the method and it’s been successful! I also have no doubt that it will help us for when we decide we want to start a family. Thank you for writing this and spreading the word about FAM!

This is super encouraging! Thank you for sharing your experience with FAM. My husband and I got pregnant immediately after getting married (because we weren’t using anything) and we would like to try FAM as our birth control method going forward. I’m excited to start this!:)

Blair! I always love your posts. I started reading TCOYF a couple of weeks ago and started using Kindara too. This post is so perfectly timed with my experiences. Although, we are trying to make some babies these days! I am always so inspired by your words and so grateful for your blog! The more women who lear about this method, the better!

LOVE THIS! I’ve been researching FAM forever, but just couldn’t commit due to fear of the unknown. After being on the hormonal pill (9+ years now, what?!) I worry about how my body, skin, moods, will react. This post truly eased my mind and I can’t wait to get my hands on TCOYF. After that, I think it may be time! Thanks, Blair 🙂

While I had a tubal several years ago after having my daughter, I still find this absolutely fascinating! I think being in tune with our bodies and how God created us in such an intricate way so incredible! As a mom of a daughter who has recently started having her own cycle that is not very regular, I would love to read this book! Thank you so much for going into such great detail and doing so much research! I absolutely value your opinion AND your time and effort! Thank you, Blair!

Blair, I’ve been looking for a way to transition off of the pill (which I have been on for TEN years) as a way to prepare my body for pregnancy, but without actually getting pregnant right away. (and, yes, I did see the part in your post about the transition period where you need to use backup bc.)

I have this book reserved at my library already! Thanks so much for your candor and vulnerability.

Thanks for this hugely informative post. I have always avoided BC pills, for fear of possible side effects, and not wanting to flood my body with synthetic hormones (you could say that I’m pretty ‘crunchy’!). I’ve been searching for a method that works for me, and am so interested to read and learn more about FAM. Very glad to have read this! Thank you again for your great blog!

I have an IUD and I love it. However I think if I ever get married and trying to conceive this would be the way to go. I love NOT having a period with my IUD and I’m not sure I can go back to bleeding once a month.

The bleeding that women on hormonal birth control experience is only “withdrawal bleeding” and was “built” into birth control (by two male doctors in the 50s) to mimic a woman’s natural cycle. Why? Because the doctors felt that “having a period” would make women on birth control feel more “acceptable.”

This part drives me crazy. I think women should have as much freedom and choice with their body as possible. I keep thinking of this post and I’m so interested, I was thinking of starting to track my body temp and mucus just to get in the habit.

It’s high time for women to feel empowered! I have such a desire for women to be informed and know their options so that they can make the right decisions for their bodies. Thanks for reading this post and leaving a comment, Kate! 🙂 xo

I’m interested in FAM, because I recently started the pill in preparation for my upcoming marriage. I don’t like the pill due to side effects and the feeling of lack of control, but I did not feel comfortable entering married life without a form of substantial birth control. I’m looking forward to learning more about this natural and empowering method!

I was always on the fence about things like the “rhythm method” but this post truly made me want to transition to FAM! I’ve tried the pill and IUD (worst pain of my life during its placement) and both have been okay but I still feel like I could learn more about my body and like maybe some odd health concerns I’ve had over the last few years may be related. THANK YOU for this post, Blair!

You should definitely be on the fence about the Rhythm Method because it’s highly ineffective. 😉 FAM is not, though! Hope you’re able to look into it and find out if it’s right for you! Thanks for reading!

I’ve been reading TCOYF and I am seriously thinking about trying this. I’ve have been looking forward to this post since the first time you mentioned it. I never knew there was a form of BC like this. My body does not respond well to any types of medicine, plus not being able to take hormonal medication this is right up my alley. Thank you so much for being you and post such a personal thing.

I never knew there was a form of BC like this either! I wish I could make it required reading in schools. I’m glad you’re reading TCOYF and hope that you’re able to make the right decisions for you based on the information you learn! xoxo

This was such a well-written and informative post! I never realized there was any other option that could be as effective as hormonal birth control minus the hormones 🙂 I am definitely interested in continuing to learn more!

My husband and I used FAM successfully for the first 2 years of our marriage until we were ready to start our family, then we got pregnant on the first try! I was on the pill briefly before we switched to FAM and it weirded me out to mess with my hormones so much. It is SO much better to truly understand what’s going on with my body and much easier to track my cycle than I expected! Thanks for your vulnerable and informative post. I wish more people knew about FAM!

Blair your post was such a fountain of information. I personally was hesitant about whether the post would apply to me since avoiding or getting pregnant is not my concern yet. That being said, you made this post about so much more than birth control, it’s about the power of knowledge. Thanks for all the links. So glad you decided to post this!

Thank you for taking the time to research and write this personal post. I have struggled with my birth control for years and 3 years into my marriage we’re not ready but also getting closer to get pregnant. I love how this works both ways. This giveaway is huge, thanks for the chance!

I was excited to read this! I have struggled with irregularity for years, and went back on birth control because of it. I think I’m going to look into this to maybe find a root issue. It bothers me so much to worry about irregularity and my future of wanting to have children, so it’s encouraging to know that this could start me on a path to finding answers.

I am so happy you turned me onto this two years ago! I can’t wait to see how it works when Jose and I start TTC. I am so frustrated with my friends who say, “it’s too much work.” It is worth every effort to have peace of mind and understand your body. As always – amazing post. Love you!!

I have stayed off of birth control almost my whole pregnancy… 7.5 years… because of how it made me feel! We have a 3 year old daughter but it was hard to get pregnant with her and we are ready to have another one. I think this method may be the answer to help us know when I am fertile so we can get pregnant quicker. Thank you so much for sharing all of this research!

Love FAM!! I started charting during my last cycle on birth control to begin forming the habit! Even though I’m still reading TCOYF, I feel pretty confident just from what I’ve learned through the Facebook group and Kindara app!!

That’s smart to get in the habit of charting early! Make sure to be fully protected for three full cycles (at least) before using FAM as birth control! 😉 Just gotta give my warning. So happy for you! Thanks for reading, Lauren!

Blair, thank you so much for your honesty and research here! This is super helpful. I have been on hormonal birth control for almost 10 years now, perhaps longer. In the past 2-3 years, I can feel that my body has changed, and I went to my doctor wanting to go off it She recommended me not to, saying it may make my symptoms (acne, bloating, irritability, etc.) worse. I was frustrated, and ended up switching doctors. Anyway, I’m wondering other peoples’ experiences with switching off hormonal birth control, and how their bodies reacted. I’m just thinking about how I don’t even know my bodies “normal state” or cycle at this point!

Hi Elizabeth. I was on hormonal birth control for about 20 years. I started with the pill as a teenager. I transitioned to the depo shot during my college years. After college I transitioned to the mirena IUD. In between the method transitions, I attempted to stop taking birth control; however, my acne got REALLY bad. It was awful. I couldn’t take it so I chose to get back on it. These days I prefer doing things the natural way. As such, I’m fighting bad cystic acne. Some days, it’s hard to look in the mirror. I’m going to stick it out this time around. In time, I know it’ll get better. To answer your question, I’ve experienced cystic acne and bloating.

Hey Elizabeth! I’m sure it was frustrating to want to get off of HBC and not have your doctor’s support. If you’re really interested, though, I encourage you to read TCOYF and do it. That’s the only way you’ll know what your body’s normal state is! (Again, I’m not a doctor and am only sharing based on personal experience.) I recommend getting in a FAM Group on Facebook as well…the ladies in those groups are all off of HBC and many have great insight into the transition. All the best to you!

Yay!!! I’ve been waiting for this post ever since you listed it in upcoming blog posts at the beginning of the year. Thank you so much for all your hard work on it I love all the books at the end and can’t wait to see if our library has any. I’m starting to do my research on the FAM as I hate what the hormones are doing to my body. I went on the Nuvaring a couple months before my wedding out of fear of getting pregnant because we cannot responsibly afford a child right now and I’ve hated what it’s done to my body ever since. I felt a little in tune with my body (nowhere near where I wanted to be but still!) before but since then it’s gone all out of weight. I can echo all the women who complain of mood swings and weight gain! Unfortunately, I also have seen the lack of acknowledgment of FAM as a legitimate birth control method from not only the medical community, but also my pastor as we went through marriage counseling! I also bemoan the lack of education on more natural methods and if I have daughters later in life I hope to teach this to them.
I cannot wait to become an expert of my own body and prove them all wrong. My husband has agreed to support me as I transition off hormonal birth control and into FAM. I hope to be able to start FAM this fall around our one year anniversary 🙂 wish me luck!

Also, I use Ovia to track my moods and temperature and other information and love it a lot! It looks very similar to the app you use. Their main goal is to help you get pregnant, so I get notifications when I’m fertile, but I use that in the opposite direction! They also have a pregnancy app for once you get pregnant.

Girl, you’ve gotta send your pastor this post (and maybe a copy of TCOYF for the church library!)! I’m so serious. The “perpetual cycle of ignorance” is insane surrounding women’s reproductive health. I’m so glad that you’ve decided to become an expert on your body! It is so freeing and amazing to be in tune! All the best to you as you transition this fall.

I know a few women who use Ovia, too! Glad you found something that works for you!

Some couples use a barrier method during a woman’s fertile phase (condoms, a diaphragm, a sponge, etc.); others choose to abstain from sex (which makes the method Natural Family Planning, technically).

Yes, I have heard about parabens making sex difficult and painful. Have you read Jennifer Smith’s book The Unveiled Wife? She and her husband couldn’t have sex for 4 YEARS after getting married because of parabens. The book is great and her story is incredible. Once she removed parabens, she had painfree, easy sex! Like I said, it’s a fascinating story.

Thank you for this very informative post. I went on hormonal birth control a few years ago because it was the only thing that helped control my very painful and ugly cystic acne. Ever since I started taking the pill, I’ve been worried about how it is affecting my body and my future fertility. I will be looking into FAM more now.

I’m glad you’re going to look into FAM! I had cystic acne (and occasionally still do), but I’m able to manage it with my homemade skincare system and dietary changes (namely low dairy). All the best to you!

Blair!!! You’re absolutely amazing! The work you’ve put into this post shouts off the page. Great job! Some days I wonder if I’ll ever be at this status. You do it all so well!

After 20 years of hormonal birth control, I’m currently not taking anything. My husband and I are “trying” for a baby but we’re not preventing it either. Right now it’s, “God have your way.” Lemme just say it’s SCARY!!! Anyway, you described so many other benefits of tracking than merely trying to conceive. Specifically, being educated about your body. I have to admit, I’m not in tune with mine. You’ve inspired me to get to know this body of mine. Thank you so much for such an informative post. You ROCK!

I was so looking forward to this post, so thank you! I heard about NFP a few years ago, and really hoped to be able to use it, however my periods are so irregular that I ended up going on the pill right before my wedding. Only lasted 3 months on it, I was nauseous all the time and my breasts hurt all the time. Would love to try this, but it’s a little scary (a lot scary?) with having cycles anywhere between 21-45 days of length. I downloaded Kindara after you mentioned it in your “favorite apps” post, and it looks less daunting than I thought. Thank you for this well thought-out and well written post!

Hey Madeleine! I had a bad time on the pill, too. FAM has allowed me to identify issues with my cycle and make adjustments (in my diet and supplements) to correct them. Good luck to you! Read TCOYF and go from there. You’ll be amazed how empowered you feel! xoxo

Blair- this is SO great!! I have been thinking for a few months now that I would love to go off of my HBC and was just too scared to do it. This has given me the push I need to do some really great research and make a really well informed decision! Thank you so much for all of your hard work on this post, I can’t wait to read this book and (maybe) start on the FAM journey!

I’m currently at home recovering from surgery because I’m having menstration issues and my doctor mentioned this method for me to try as a way break from hormonal birth control. I was having horrific side effects. I knew this post was coming and have anxiously awaited this post!! I’m so excited to start my own journey with fertility awareness method!

As I am preparing for marriage (yay!) while simultaneously dealing with myriads of hormonal and feminine health problems, I am looking for all the ways I can to naturally care for and know my body better! This was an amazing post, as always, Blair.

I have been so excited to read this post! Thank you for the great information! Someone recommended TCOYF to me a few months ago and that was the first I had heard about it. I definitely want to get it now and think it will be so helpful for me!

Blair, this was amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. I really do think that I learned more here than I ever did in high school! I’m so excited to try this process out and be more in tune with my body.

Loved your article! I’ve been reading TCOYF and did some Google-ing to learn from those who have put it into practice. I too went on the pill before getting married and have had a lot of issues with it. I can’t wait to start FAM and get my life back!
I also was wondering if you could share the link to your Facebook group? Thank you!

Thank you for this post! I practiced FAM but switched to an IUD because I felt FAM wasn’t predictable enough. After a rough 8 weeks I’m ready to ditch the IUD and get back in touch with my body. Your post and the comments from your FB group really helped me solidify that I’m making the right choice for myself and that it’s completely okay to change my mind on hormones.

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Hey, I’m Blair!

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I'm a small town Texas transplant, wife, and first time mommy-to-be. I believe in slow, simple, intentional living in lieu of the world's breakneck pace and write honestly with the hope of encouraging other women. Grab a cup of warm and enjoy!
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