Let’s talk about food guilt

First of all I wanted to say thank you for all your kind words on my post last week. It took me weeks to finally talk myself into publishing that post because talking about my weight gain while eating whole foods felt a bit too personal for the blog.

However, I’m glad that I did it because it’s crazy how many people have experienced something similar. But not many of us actually talk about it. Which is why I wanted to continue the discussion today and take it back a bit to my issues with food guilt that started it all…out loud.

As I mentioned in my last post, one of my biggest problems when it comes to healthy eating is a lack of moderation. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of eating all the healthy whole foods because they’re good for you. Heck, people actually say that on a daily basis.

I see it all the time on blog posts and IG captions and FB statuses and have definitely done it myself. Things like ‘these brownies are made with real ingredients so don’t feel guilty about eating the whole batch or having them for breakfast’.

But the thing is, that thinking is flawed in two ways that I can see.

You definitely shouldn’t eat an entire batch of brownies in one sitting, whole foods or not

The word guilt shouldn’t be associated with food ever.

Because although this is saying not to feel guilty, it implies that if the brownies weren’t healthy then you should feel guiltyfor eating them. And that way lies madness.

My experience with food guilt

I was pretty restrictive for a little over a year when I first started eating healthier. I was big into ‘clean eating’ and the list of things I wouldn’t allow myself to eat was a mile long and grew longer by the day.

At first I stopped eating a lot of processed ‘junk’ foods because I wanted to get healthier and lose weight. And there was nothing wrong with that. I still maintain that making that change was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

But while I may have begun with the best intentions, I eventually went way off script.

You see, by about 6 months in, I was no longer avoiding certain foods because they were unhealthy but because I thought they were bad. Notice I didn’t say bad for you, just bad. Because if the list of approved foods were ‘clean’ then everything else had to be dirty, right?

And that’s where things started to fall apart. Because I began restricting myself more and more and my diet became less about being healthy and more about avoiding that feeling in my stomach when I ate something ‘wrong’. You know, the food guilt.

My perception of food became so warped and it started affecting more than just what I was eating. How I felt about eating also changed. I was always so worried that I may accidentally eat something ‘wrong’ that I no longer found any enjoyment in eating at all. All I focused on was staying ‘clean’.

And that went on for months. In fact, it wasn’t until I was forced to go dairy free and started eating whole foods that I found my way to a normal relationship with food again. While I was researching how to eat dairy free lots of articles about healthy eating and eating whole foods kept popping up. And I somehow latched on to the idea of eating healthy whole foods that I neverhad to feel guilty about eating.

Which, by the way was still flawed thinking. Because it meant I’d never really been ‘cured’ of my food guilt.

It took a while but it seemed like everything was fine again. I was eating healthy foods and I wasn’t wracked by guilt every time I indulged in something a little less healthy. But we know from last week’s post that in my quest to shed my restrictive diet, I managed to fall into a completely different kind of disordered thinking when it came to food. One that I’m still trying to crawl my way out of.

The thing is, I’m terrified of falling back into the food guilt trap now that I’m trying to lose weight again. I can already feel myself starting to associate some of my favourite healthy foods with that ‘wrongness’. Bananas have too much sugar so I’ve cut down how many I eat in a day. Quinoa’s okay but I can only have rice occasionally. And the loaf of sprouted bread I bought a few weeks ago is still in the freezer because bread used to be a huge no in my clean eating days.

Basically, I feel like I can only manage the two extremes: food guilt or over indulgence and neither of them has worked out that well for me in the past. So again, the question is, what now?

Comments

This is a great post. It’s so tricky to find a balance between these two extremes. Getting rid of food guilt is a process, it’s hard but it can be done. Have you read Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole, that book helped me a lot.Jen @ Pretty Little Grub recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #72

Oh wow, I completely agree with these feelings. It’s amazing how I think the ‘food industry’ makes these labels, and we start to latch onto those labels. I still struggle with eating ice cream at a wrong time of the day or white bread. I struggle with things that have ‘too much sugar,’ because other people don’t eat it because of that. I love Jen’s suggestion of the Intuitive Eating book, because it reminded me that we shouldn’t think of any food as off limits, or else we just have anxiety over those foods. Often, if I just eat the food, I don’t want lots of it; I just want a little bit.Emily Swanson recently posted…Thinking Out Loud: Sugar Cravings

Oh girl, I feel you loud and clear in this post. Let me tell…when I first began losing weight and changing me eating habits it was hard because let’s face it you are restricting the unhealthy stuff you want to eat. Once I began seeing my body transform through walking every day it motivated me to keep eating healthy. BUT it was never easy and I often remember RD’s I know say I should just eat intuitively but for me I do not have that gray space in my eating. I truly believe everyone can achieve intuitive eating AFTER weight loss. It’s now 7 years since I lost 80 pounds and I am just now in that place where I can trust myself around food. No more binges, no more restricting. I still struggle from time to time, but the key is to give yourself TIME. A lot of time! Don’t give up. Take small steps and don’t beat yourself up. I’m here if you need someone to talk to and also going to be starting my health coaching practice soon!Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious recently posted…Tomato Chicken Gorgonzola Salad {GF, Low Cal}

“guilt free” food/recipes make me want to smash everything. Food guilt is something I’ve struggled with a lot and sometimes I still have the thoughts, but am (usually) able to ignore them now.
Something I heard recently that has really made a difference is thinking about all the good things like vitamins and micronutrients that come along with the food. Like you mentioned bananas have too much sugar, but bananas aren’t just sugar. Just straight sugar has no nutritional value. But bananas have potassium, manganese, vitamin b6, etc. It kind of helped me switch my focus to what I’m ADDING to my diet.
I hope you can find some freedom in food, sweet pea <3 it'll take some time and work, but you've already taken the first step of talking about it. You've so got this!!Leah | love me, feed me recently posted…blueberry rhubarb crumble bars

This is a hard spot and I’m sure so many can relate! Often after we lose weight, if we are being ‘too restrictive’ with what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ then when we take breaks and the over indulgence happens it just makes us feel bad. The key to me is not to think of anything wholesome as good or bad, try to watch portions and look at the goodness in all those whole foods. Like Leah said in the comment before mine, bananas are good for you! Don’t think of them as having too much sugar and being ‘bad’. There is no bad fruit or veggie in my book. Go all in. You will feel full from the fiber and the water in fruits and veggies before you can possibly over eat them – not to mention have a tummy ache…who can eat 3 bananas 😉 Thinking of you dear – think of adding more of the fresh, whole, good for you foods! There is no bad :)) My dad used to tell us ‘even a little poison’ won’t kill you – you can have a little of anything as long as you’re having lots of the fresh whole goodness from Mother Earth. xoxo

It’s really hard to find balance between whole food eating and not over doing it and I think we are all guilty of that! I think the word “guilty” and “guilt-free” need to be banished from the food world because it’s not doing any good. In moderation, something can be “guilt-free” but if it’s taken out of moderation it becomes a problem. love how you are so honest, you can get through this! You have our support <3rachel @ athleticavocado.com recently posted…Paleo Dark Chocolate Fudge Zucchini Brownies {GF & Vegan Option!}

I think I can finally say after years and years of food and body image struggles that I’m finally in a place where I don’t feel any guilt with eating. That being said, I don’t know how it happened 😕 I think part of it had to do with getting older and just getting sick and tired of worrying about something that turned out not to be that big of a deal in the first place, and then part of it had to do with just finding a happy place with my diet. It took a lot of time though. Time and trial and error. I think it’s pretty common to go from restriction into over-indulgence (I know it’s what happened to me in recovery and I ended up weighing more than I did before I got sick), but after a while things just kind of evened out … The junk foods lost their appeal, and I didn’t feel so inclined to overeat when I realized that I wasn’t going to start starving myself again. Just be patient and gentle with your body… And if you ever need to chat, I’m here!Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…this post is all over the place (ToL#186)

It’s usually guilt a few days later when I think back where I ‘might be’ with weight loss had I not eaten that one donut. It’s hard to get out of the trap.Alysia at Slim Sanity recently posted…Greek Yogurt Banana Muffins with Chocolate Chips

That’s such a tough issue it’s hard to write a simple comment. Like you, I tend to get extreme in what I do. Coming from a place of eating way too much sugar and processed foods before loosing weight [too much in the end] I’m now trying to find my sweet spot. Balance. Not worrying about what I ate. For me, it’s not necessarily about certain foods anymore but eating “too much”. No matter if nutritious or more indulgent foods. If only we could just flip switch in our minds …Miss Polkadot recently posted…No-bake Peanut Butter and Jelly Chocolate Fudge Bars

THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS! I can relate to this post on so many levels. For me, the biggest struggle in maintaining some sort of balance in my diet has been my perspective on food. Even if i tell myself that it’s okay to eat toast with bananas on it, my mind still goes into panic mode, telling myself that this is too many carbs. Like for real? I’m going to let a banana and a piece of bread dictate my decision about what to eat? Of course, it seems silly when I type it, but in reality, the decision is much harder to make. Just know that you are not alone in this struggle. I hope that with time we can both find a balanced lifestyle without the stress of this food guilt. <3Maddie recently posted…Baked Oatmeal with Maple Peach Compote

You totally hit the nail on the head with this post. This has been me, for years, but most recently the last few months. My relationship with food had hit rock bottom – counting macros, but still feeling guilty for the things I was eating inside my numbers. 24/7 I was thinking “what am I going to eat, when am I going to eat, what is this going to do to my body.” I finally had to step back and say, this isn’t healthy. I decided to give up tracking macros, or tracking anything, at this point because I get too obsessive and it hinders me from living my life. I totally understand you when you say there’s only two extremes – completely unrestricted eating and food guilt. Honestly, I’m still trying to find that balance. The last couple weeks have been really transformative for me – I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts (The Wellness Wonderland, Mind Body Musings) and reading a lot about intuitive eating and healing your relationship with food. Highly recommend them!

Thanks for your honesty with this post, Giselle. I don’t know if there’s anything I can say to help, except the best way I’ve found to deal with food guilt is to ignore it. I just eat what I want when I want it, don’t eat when I don’t want something, and don’t weigh myself. I still feel the anxiety, certainly, but I tell myself to eat in spite of it.
If your weight is fluctuating, it makes complete sense that you’d feel particularly uneasy about what you’re eating. But remember that weight fluctuation is okay and normal as our diets and bodies change–if you’re eating healthy foods, exercising, and still gaining weight, it’s possible that your body is happier at a higher weight.
Hang in there! Weight fluctuation is such a challenging thing to deal with emotionally.Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Going Hungry Episode 4: Causes, Effects, and Which Is Which

I have been in the same situation as you – food restriction, clean eating, whole food…and ended up gaining more than 10 pounds (I don’t dare to step on the scale these days). My experience is food guilt and over indulgence go hand in hand. Over indulgence is caused by food retriction, which is on-going when you are eating whole / healthy food and cutting out junk food. Then you feel guilty after eating more than the “right” portion. It is a vicious cycle. To jump out of the cycle, we need to stop over indulging in any food, whether it is banana or ice cream. Exersing portion control is necessary, but it is easier said than done. After all the years of food and weight struggle, I find that I am kind of addicted to food, and addiction is hard to overcome because it is in my brain.