Believe it or not, Sarah (a.k.a. CollegeHumor's best/worst/only female staffer) already HAS a man. And Ricky, Sam and Jake all have preexisting girlfriends. But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of single/desperate types runnin' around CH headquarters. Below, a rundown of the show's most eligible bachelors. (Hey, so what if it's not by choice?)

Best line: "I saw my future children in her eyes ... one of them was deformed."

Fun Fact: "Patrick once saved a hundred hostages from biological terrorists on Alcatraz. Wait, that was Nicholas Cage in The Rock. Patrick's the one who got scared and vomited while watching that movie."