Stanley Siegel, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author, international lecturer, and former Director of Education at New York’s renowned Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. With over 36 years of experience, Siegel has developed an unconventional and highly regarded approach to psychotherapy. Stanley's latest book, "Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life" is out now!

Gay, straight, it just doesn’t matter anymore. Heterosexuality is not what it’s cut out to be. The labels that exist to describe us typically fall short of encompassing the fullness of human sexuality. Some years ago a patient came to me to deal with his sexual identity issues. When I...

Our Problems Are Our Solutions. As I continue to teach and lecture among my colleagues around the world, I have become increasingly aware that most psychotherapists train and practice within a paradigm that sees patients’ problems as rooted in pathology. These therapists wait and watch for a symptom to see how it might fit...

It’s Smart Sex. Step Six: Acting Out Sexual Fantasies If you’ve followed the steps of Intelligent Lust this far, by now you’ve gained an understanding of your true sexual desires and their meaning and purpose in your life. You may have even met someone with whom you share the likelihood...

Using sexual chemistry to guide you to the right partner Step 4 of Intelligent Lust: Cracking the Code of Sexual Chemistry We’ve all had the experience of seeing someone on the street or in a social setting and feeling an instant attraction. Our eyes lock, our pulse races, everyone else...

Where do our fantasies and erotic images come from and what do they tell us about the deeper nature of who we are? We have been led to believe that our sexual fantasies are random imaginings, but nothing could be further from the truth. At their base lies fragments of...

Early in my career I immersed myself in the then emerging theories referred to as Family Systems Therapy, with teachings from professionals such as Murray Bowen, Carl Whittaker, Jay Haley and Nathan Ackerman, who themselves had rebelled against the tenants of traditional psychotherapy. They shared the premise that an individualâs âproblem,â rather than being purely...

STANLEY SIEGEL UNCENSORED: The Shared Values and Techniques of Therapists and Sex Workers. âSex Worker or Therapist?â was censored by Psychology Today on February 21 and never appeared online. Several years ago, a 62-year-old man had a consultation with me a few months after good friends had conducted, let’s say, an intervention on his behalf. Andrew...

STANLEY SIEGEL UNCENSORED: The Truth About How We Feel About Penises. âPenis Envyâ was published February 14 on PsychologyToday.com and removed two weeks later. The center of a manâs existence is his penis. At the root of his self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability...

Gay, straight, it just doesn’t matter anymore. Heterosexuality is not what it’s cut out to be. The labels that exist to describe us typically fall short of encompassing the fullness of human sexuality. Some years ago a patient came to me to deal with his sexual identity issues. When I asked James to describe his...

Sex scenes on film can be the window to your psyche You are sitting in front of a computer screen surfing porn sites ready to get off. You sift through scenes and images until you connect to one. Suddenly, every element of desire falls perfectly in line. You become intensely excited, your physical and mental...

How Watching Pornography Can Change Your Life The great majority of us watch pornography. Nearly 87 percent of men and 76 percent of women reportedly visit adult entertainment sites. In fact, pornography drives the economy of the Internet and our appetite for it has led to Internet innovation. That sex sells is hardly a startling discovery....