Monday, June 21, 2010

20 Years

This past weekend, we had our 20-year high school reunion. Being the completely unpopular and uninvolved high school student that I was, it seemed only natural I make up for my slacker ways by being a part of our planning committee. A good time was had by all...well mostly all. There were a few sad "table sitters" and husbands who kept a close eye on their watch and, well, me who held up nearby walls and hid behind my camera.

I'm not the most outgoing person on the planet. I feel much better about life if I have a job to do, but consequently that doesn't leave me much time to cultivate my conversation skills, much less help me look approachable.

Sigh.

I love taking photos and did enjoy capturing those memories for my classmates, but...I do have some regrets about this reunion:

1. I didn't dance. I love to dance, but, well, not necessarily in front of people with eyes. If I'm at a family wedding, I don't care at all. I know they love me and even if they make fun of me, its cool because we're family. I can give as good as I get then.

2. I didn't visit enough folks. There were several people at the party that I was in school with from 1st -12th grade. People I haven't seen in at least a decade. I did get to visit with some, but not all. I wish I had.

3. I didn't have photos taken of me with my old friends.

4. I didn't eat any dessert. I planned on it. They smelled yummy. It just felt wrong, so I didn't.

5. I didn't have a margarita. I planned on it, but every time I went to the bar, I just got water. I worried the margarita would make me sweat more...and that's not a good thing, especially when you're the fat girl.

6. I worried too much. So sad and truly the downfall of my life. I worry about what people see what people think what I may do that could make people think bad things about me or say bad things. Its like the confidence part of me in some respects is stuck in high school where heckling was a regular occurrence. Sigh.

That said, aside from the dancing thing, those regrets didn't ruin the whole reunion experience for me. I still really enjoyed seeing everyone and capturing the fun on camera and seeing how much everyone was enjoying the party I helped plan. That did my heart good. Some other things that did my heart good were:

1. Seeing how excited everyone was to be at the party and to see old friends again.

2. Hearing songs I hadn't heard in years and years...and remembering the lyrics.

3. Getting to see photos of my friend Henry's kiddos. I always knew he'd make a great dad.

4. Having people express an interest in my photography business.

5. Being able to be there for someone who was upset and a bit hurt...and being able to do something to try to help.

6. Finding out that some folks actually read, and enjoy, what I post on Facebook.

7. Seeing the past year of effort and meetings and messages and planning turn out so beautifully for our classmates.

8. Seeing our committee members actually able to enjoy the party because we all worked together to make sure that was a possibility.