Sunday, January 29, 2006

I have a few moments to write and reflect. Time seems so precious lately. It's a nice reminder. For the past few years I'd been hibernating, writing, resting, healing, growing. I see now some of what I was preparing myself for.

Two and three years ago I couldn't even imagine a life so busy. It was too overwhelming. Today I can hardly imagine a life with much free time. One thing I know about me and life - things occur in cycles. This just happens to be a time of movement. Lots of movement.

Speaking of that. I've moved (again). It happened so fast that this post may be the first that family and friends will hear of it. Actually, I'm mid-move. Most of my stuff is moved. We're going to (hopefully) finish moving everything today. Gotta clean, do the last of my laundry and hand over the keys.

I'm still debating on the best way to remove that sofa. We know it won't fit through the front door. We're pretty sure it will fit through the window. The problem with that is we're on the second floor. Most likely I'll just take a chainsaw to the damn thing. Okay, maybe just a drill. I'll remove it in pieces. As long as it gets out. That's all that matters at this moment. Nothing will be left behind.

Once this is finished, I'll be able to focus more on my dogs and the film project. We start shooting next weekend. We're still casting, scheduling, scouting locations and organizing craft services. What else? Have I missed anything? I'm sure I have. It's okay. I've got a list here somewhere.

My dog walker friend is returning to work this week. It will free up my schedule a bit -- perhaps a bit too much actually. My clientele is at an all-time low. I plan on posting more ads and hanging more fliers.

I've been reevaluating my position as a dog walker lately. I had a traumatic incident between two of my own dogs a few weeks ago. And I didn't handle it as well as I should have. One dog bit another. I got them separated and put them both in their place. But I didn't thoroughly check each dog for bites. Later my client came home to see her dog had open puncture wounds in three different places. The dog needed stitches and immobilization for three weeks.

So as it stands today, I've lost both dogs as clients. Whether it's permanent or temporary is unknown. I don't feel comfortable taking the biting dog with us. It came out of nowhere. I'd never had an experience like that with her, ever. Plus, she's a breed that just isn't known for attacking the way she did.

I also may lose the other dog because of my mistake. Not because of the biting dog. Because of my own negligence. I should have known to thoroughly check each dog right there in the moment. It happened in front of my eyes. And still I missed it.

Accidents happen. I can live with a dog fight. What I struggle with is my part in this. I'm less upset about the dog bite incident than I am with how I handled it. There is no room for error when it comes to the health and well-being of a dog - especially one in my care.

I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you. I know how much you care for the animals you walk. Stuff happens, don't be too hard on yourself. I once slammed the car door on Bridgets little hand..she was four or five...i still feel so guilty about it. She survived.

did I know you were moving? I feel totally out of the loop. I am so sorry to hear about the biting incident...... I hope that you won't continue beating yourself up over it, I know you love those dogs.

I'll offer you the advice I give reporters or directors who make a mistake on the air during a live newscast and beat themselves up about it:

You can't go back and undo something that already happened. Take from the mistake whatever you need to avoid it happening again, then move forward.

What more can you do? We know you love animals, and your angst over this is only more proof of that. Not letting this bother you would be a sign that you don't care; the fact that this is eating away at you should tell you how much you really do care.

Now stop beating yourself up! Take your frustration out on the couch and have a good Monday! ;)

Who needs chainsaws when you've got Amazon Babes with hammers and a purpose? ;) And another one to, um...watch.

Fret no more about the dog incident ~ you can't control the universe (only I can do that) and as Aristotle once said, shit happens. You handled it as best as you could (didn't you say the owner missed the bite marks at first too?) Nobody's perfect. Your life is moving full-force in a number of positive directions; embrace and enjoy! :)