I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice.

"A silver birdflies over the autumn lake. When it has passed, the lake's surface does not tryto hold on to the image of the bird."

Sorry to hear of the bad day. This will pass. It is the intention that counts. There are some people who act like jerks or actually are jerks. Just remember you had the best of intentions and move on from there.

Do not underestimate equanimity in these sorts of environments; the brahmaviharas are facets of one viewpoint, rather than discreet perspectives to be wielded in turn.

"And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

"And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice.

---The trouble is that you think you have time------Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe------It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

Hi NroseI had a minor car accident yesterday. (hit behind). I made an appointment with the panel beater and took time off from my work and went to see him just now. He said that he is too busy and did not even look at the car and ask me to come some other time!Some people do not have feelings for others. I extended my loving kindness to the panel beater.

Hi, nrose,You've had lots of good answers already. here's another which I, at least, think is worth considering: Everything we do inspires similar responses and actions from other people, so if we are nice to others, they tend to be (a little bit!) nicer to everyone around them, and the ripples spread out - sometimes returning to us, sometimes not. The same is true if we are nasty to others.

That can be expressed in terms of kamma and dependent origination if you like but I think we usually understand ideas better if we get rid of the barriers of foreign or technical terminology.

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice.

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice.

Acts of kindness and skilfulness support and develop wholesome mind states, which gladden the mind. the point of generosity and other acts of punya is to give us something we can be proud of in a way that undermines negative personal images.Unfortunately others may not act as we may hope regarding these acts and other qualities we develop so equanimity should be developed to balance how the world may react. we don't do these things to show off to others (same as with the precepts) we do these things to show ourselves they are good to do because they support a skilful state of mind which makes it easier to practice.

This offering maybe right, or wrong, but it is one, the other, both, or neither!Blog,-Some Suttas Translated,Ajahn Chah."Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."

SarathW wrote:Hi NroseI had a minor car accident yesterday. (hit behind). I made an appointment with the panel beater and took time off from my work and went to see him just now. He said that he is too busy and did not even look at the car and ask me to come some other time!Some people do not have feelings for others. I extended my loving kindness to the panel beater.

Sorry to hear that! Hope it will get resolved soon!

However, if I may, it does happen that people are more busy at the moment are than we are!

Sometimes we can't imagine their schedules!

Like, Christmas business is high right now, and I am faced with a simular problem tomorrow.

I have an online shop and many people buy too late, of course, and then I have work days like last SUNDAY:

I worked from 8 -24, except for getting a bite to eat. On a Sunday. When you want to rest. And may need to.

Tomorrow a Lady would like to drop by who contacted me like 3 or 4 weeks ago about a gift.

Now, so close before Christmas, she would like to come by, when I don't even have a show room, and is causing me enourmous stress because I have a feeling what she actually wants is to have a nice cup of tea with me on her free day and chat, and take her time trying everything in front of the mirror, and then buy a small thing.

She wants to get a happy xmas feeling...

And I just don't have the time.

All I have time for is grab a thing, and ship it, and do it again....

and I knew this would happen and asked her before to do this earlier in the year.

*sigh*

All this I just said, so that you don't think things of the man, without knowing his schedule.

He might even have someone in the hospital, etc, pp.

Don't take it personally, he may be a jerk, but he may be not and just struggle...

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice.

Your situation is like this:Seeing someone in a pool and you notice the person cannot swim, you decide to dive in the pool so to save the person.....but you too could not swim!

Hi AnnapuranaI know exactly what you mean. There are so much pressure on small business people now days. We all are in this rat race. I am thinking how to get out of this. Sometimes I think that I should be a monk. But now days, monks are more busy than lay people. There is no jungles they all have been cleared out by human. So I am hanging to this Dhamma raft thinking that it will get me some where one day. I hope I won’t be landed back the same where I started!

I am reading a book called The Buddha's Ancient Path by Ven Thera Piyadassi. Page 114 it reads:

A practice of Metta should be on his guard against callous folk who are egocentric. It ofen happens that when a person is gentle and sincere others try to exploit his good qualities for their own ends. This should not be encouraged. If one allows the self-centred to make unfair use of one's metta, kindness and tollarance, that tends to intensify rather than allay the evils and sufferings of society.

"Some serve and consort with one of their own gain,Hard is it to find disinterested friendssince impure people think only of their own profit,Walk alone, like the horn of a rhinoceros" Sn75.

Thank you everyone, for the replies. I found many of your contributions to be most insightful. RMHayes I appreciate the article on how we should be grateful for the positive things in this life as well as the negative things (that help us to develop patience and mindfulness). SarahW I think it's awesome how you turned an unfortunate circumstance into any opportunity to exercise your compassion for others. Kim, DAWN, cooran (unfortunately the link was broken but thank you regardless),daverupa, david, and any others i missed.. I'm grateful for your compassion towards me . You are all wonderful

"A silver birdflies over the autumn lake. When it has passed, the lake's surface does not tryto hold on to the image of the bird."

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice. :cry:

We should be kind because we see that it is the best way to be. If we are getting discouraged by of the lack of positive responses from people it is because we think we're supposed to get something in return, or we want to get something in return. It would be nice if people appreciated our kindness, but it is not a realistic way to look at the world.