Monday, 23 July 2007

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Hot Fuzz is the true story of our very own Electro-Kevin. Based on E-Ks outstanding career in the Met and his subsequent transfer to the West Country, Hot Fuzz reveals the times before he was a train driver and Daddy and Husband.

My beautiful daughter (now 17) has trouble with the material world. She is deciduous and sheds possessions and often is unequipped for the situation at hand. Recently she rang from Bristol to tell me she had left her suitcase on Salisbury station. She lost £57 in a week, in two separate incidents of forgetfulness on public transport. Mobile phones don't last that long either. She told me this rhyme that she has made up to help her keep it together.

Before you pass out through this doorWot♥ what you forgot beforeIf your Mum you wish to pleaseYou should not forget your keysNor leave behind at home your coatThat would really get her goat

Mobile phone, and money tooRailcard and rendezvousIf away for several daysKnickers, toothbrush and pj'sAnd maybe a spare pair of shoesIf you be off to see the coos (sic)

If you can check off all this listThen go before your train is missed...

(My ex has cows)

† wot"to know" (archaic), from O.E. wat, first and third person singular present indicative of witan "to know," from P.Gmc.

Now they let me post again. Bastards. Do they realise how many fabulous posts of unimaginable wit and creativity they have destroyed with their random (?) censorship?I was going to post one on Jacqui Smith who said, "I broke the law...it was wrong" which is the funniest thing a Home Secretary has said in a long while. However the Beeb has changed the quote to "I broke the law....I was wrong" which is not quite so funny.

I was going to post one on Lord Levy's relief but I feel too sick.

I was going to post a celebration of Scroblene's birthday, but that will have to wait till next year.

Monday, 2 July 2007

He is my daily miracle. After years and years of this sister doing it for herself this lovely man turned up in my life and now I could well be living the happiest days I will ever know.

He takes difficult lids off jars, he puts out the recycling and refuse, and throws away those scary icky things at the back of the fridge. My daughter asked me "What did we do for food, before Boyfriend?"

He is an erstwhile geek, therefore I have a fast, functioning computer.

He is trained in Massage so now I can get a good rub down any time.

He makes I larf and larf.

He is very romantic and supremely cuddlesome.

The pic below was taken at Glyndebourne last year. Yes, I know he is wearing the wrong jacket but he won't be told....note how linking arms with me causes him scoliosis....

Funny story....after the Mozart we ended up arriving where we were staying in the midst of the fag ends of a dinner party. We joined in and had some wine. One of the guests was a Polish Count who lamented that Glyndebourne wasn't the same now that the middle classes had taken it over. Another guest scolded him for this and entertained us by describing how Ken Livingston had hit on her in a cab they'd recently shared. When she turned him down, Ken tried again: "What about next week?"

Update: Boyfriend also intuitively knows when it's my mother ringing, and answers the phone. How good is that?! As long as she speaks to someone she is usually satisfied....Hallelujah!