The best social state for adults: finding three backers

How fragile is the relationship between adults? If you dont say a word clearly, goodbye is a stranger.

The relationship between people is complex and simple. Simply to get along well four words, enough to describe.

Comfortable state often achieves these three points:

01

Dont expect too much from anyone

When we are young, we are always looking forward to the help of dignitaries and getting rich overnight; when we get rich, we are looking forward to a perfect lover; when we get married and have children, we are looking forward to the future of our children

The expectation is endless, but the happiness is less and less.

The writer Mark has said a thought-provoking passage:

I gradually understand why I am not happy, because I always look forward to an outcome. Read a book and expect it to make me deep, run for a while and expect it to make me thin, send a wechat and expect it to be replied, and expect others to be treated well If these expectations are fulfilled, I will take a long breath. If they are not fulfilled, I will feel sorry for myself.

Proper expectation can be understood, but too high expectation can only make people fall into the mire of desire, unable to extricate themselves.

If you expect too much from your lover, you will easily magnify your partners shortcomings, ignore their efforts, and hurt their feelings; if you expect too much from your parents, you will always complain that your parents have not created good conditions for you, which will not only make your parents sad, but also make you feel negative and inferior; if you expect too much from your children, you will always blame your children for not fighting, which will not only make your children miserable, but also make you irritable

You can look forward to people, but you must grasp a degree. Its good to expect it to come true. Even if it cant come true for a while, dont affect your mood too much.

When you lower your expectations of others, the relationship will be much easier; when you dont, life will be full of surprises.

The less you look forward to people, the better your mood will be.

Those who dare to criticize you, please make friends for life

Peoples eyes, from the left of the left eye to the right of the right eye, are 180 degrees. Life is a 360 degree world, so the remaining 180 degrees need others to guide you.

But one grain of rice raises a hundred kinds of people. Some people are very selfish and only consider their own interests. Even if they see your shortcomings, they will cover up the past as if nothing happened.

The one who really dare to criticize you publicly is really a friend. He is the one who sincerely expects your progress.

Huang Yongyu and Cao Yu are such a pair of friends. Huang Yongyu praised Cao Yus early works, such as thunderstorm, sunrise and wilderness, and many classic lines were memorized in his mind. However, Cao Yu did not write a corresponding masterpiece in his later years. Huang Yongyu regretted the talent of Cao Yus predecessors. He wrote to Cao Yu: you are my highly respected predecessor, so I will be strict with you! I dont like any of your later plays. It is praiseworthy that Cao Yu received the slap in the face when he read this letter. He not only respectfully framed Huang Yongyus letter and hung it at home to keep himself alert, but also frankly wrote back to Huang Yongyu: you encouraged me, you accused me of being empty for nearly 30 years, and I wasted my mature middle age to this day - at this age, I began to understand...

What is a confidant?

Feng Menglong said:

The combination of kindness and virtue is called a confidant; the combination of heart and soul is called a confidant; the combination of voice and spirit is called a confidant..

Most of the time, life is like a flashlight, although the road ahead is bright, but the body is always in the dark.

Those who dare to criticize you are noble.

Accept criticism and become a better self.

03

Find your three backers

The first one: myself.

Brecht said:

No matter what stilts we step on, we cant do without our own feet.

Things that depend on others may cause trouble because virtue doesnt match.

Depend on others, can only be trembling; depend on oneself, can be steadfast at ease.

What others give us may be just a lamp.

Only by being our own sun can we light up the farther part of our life.

The second one: character.

A persons character is enough to determine a persons height.

The so-called birds of a feather flock together, people flock together.