8-Bit Troll: Stage 9 “Black Magic”

"You gotta use the strength Youngblood. The Strength will make you strong." -Jar Solo

For Audiences 17 and up.

Gremlik here again. My Thanksgiving stunk, thanks for asking. I burned the pigeon! My apologizes for no 8-Bit Troll last month. I did time for biting a soccer mom in the Family Dollar Black Friday line. I still say the person with the most money, should get first dibs on the colored pencils. So here’s a combination of November and December stuff. I’ll just call it November because that month is a bit more tolerable.

Ad: Pre-order Shaq Fu 2 Today

If you’re gonna kick it, kick it like the pros. Pre-order “Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn” and get 10% off “Gold Bond Foot & Body Powder.” That’s not all! The Shaq Movie 4-Pack Stack comes right along with it. Inside the game box is a voucher. The code gives you access to an exclusive trailer from the upcoming “Steel 2: Rebolted”. Get a head start before other DC fans, they’ll have to wait until “Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice” premieres.

Clash of Clans/Clash of Kings Merge

This strategy crossover game is coming for iOS/Android platforms. Clash of Clans: Kings combines for one big game. Still using the free to play model, this title will test on the go gamers like never before. We will have more information on COC:K soon.

Black Friday Fighter

Middle-Finger Interactive’s next smash hit borrows elements from “State of Emergency” and “Cooking Mama”. Introducing “Black Friday Fighter”. Expect outside interferences from the crowd. Use store supplies of any kind as a weapon. Score multipliers increase when using low-priced items. For example, landing a Roku box headshot, is more effective than a forklift trample. However, combining both will lead to unlocking a damage booster titled the “Retail Savage”.

When players unlock this savage state, their character will spew out more curse words, and void all price-match perks. Price-match perks affects victory. The goal is make it out of the store alive, paying the least amount of money. This makes the savage ability invaluable. “This game is all about Style” says Will B. Crook, MFI CEO. “Like our last game Duty’s Call, this is going to flip the multiplayer world on its buttocks. 8-player local, but 15 is possible with a PS4/XO camera.” Shop and Rock in 2016.

Gremlik’s Review of Magic Mike XXL

My friend Goober lied to me! He said to rent Magic Mike XXL, because it was a movie about Harry Potter’s Son. Well, there was no magic at all in this film. No mysterious lands in-sight! After an hour and 25 minutes of watching, I un-calmly hit eject on my DVD player, snapping the movie in half. I’m still waiting on my refund from Redbox.

I give Magic Mike XXL: 1.3 Snots Out of 7

Goober’s getting a huge lump of coal, and a piece of my mind this year!

EA’s Always Online Gets Better

Since the reception of Need For Speed (2015) was so great, EA decided they would bring this breakthrough concept to the next and last level. This means fans will get the opportunity to play all their earlier and current gen titles online, all the time. This mandatory and free update will remove the pausing option for any game made in the past ten years. Who knows what dangers await offline gamers? Stay safe, stay connected to the network. Online always, means you’re always online. Enjoy Single Player games with the world.

Parents are Furious over The Nintendo NX

“This technology will pull my kid away from his school work and accordion lessons.”, says worried parent Jamie Hunter. “If it’s really going to do everything they claim, I’m convinced it will turn my little snicker-doodle into a robot”. Below is our special report covering this breaking topic:

George Lucas Strikes Back

George Lucas has an answer for Disney’s take on his beloved franchise. He is launching a Quadrilogy of movies. Introducing “Warr Starr”. This is a fresh kind of Scifi adventure. “How do you beat yourself? I brought Star Wars into this world, and now it’s time to take it out.” -G. Luc

To give the movie a true classic feel, it is being filmed in glorious 240i with VHS cameras taking in all the action. The soundtrack is nothing short of a highlight reel, combining the best 80’s music, along with original tunes composed by John Williams and The RZA.

Or main villain “Red Barista” (Played by Ron Pearlman) rules the Old Galaxy with an iron fist. With his colonel by his side “Zecha Prime” (Idris Elba), they lead a legion of Inclement-Troopers who conquer and control any resisting planets. However, there is hope. Planet Earthuoine hosts a group of Kung Fu Warriors who use this element called “The Strength”. With the force of Strength they’re able to perform abilities that humans shouldn’t be able to pull off.

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Expect major Glowing-Nunchaku Duels, and many Starship Fights. Former Inclement Admiral, turned hero Jar Solo (Steven Seagal) is building his own faction to challenge this empire of evil. He and his pupil “Duke NightRyder” (Jack Gleeson) are Old Galaxy’s chance at striking back. Warr Star: Chapter One has already begun filming at Skywalker Ranch, and scheduled to arrive May 26, 2017. This is the same day Episode 8 is expected in theaters.