Out NOW in Kindle and Paperback from Choc Lit Publishing

OUT NOW!! FROM CHOC LIT PUBLISHING

About Me

Ah, you don't really want to know, do you? You do? Gosh, how flattering. Well, I'm me, obviously. I'm a writer, baker of inedible cakes, mother of an indeterminate number of children (they keep moving, it's hard to count), dog owner, cat slave. Occupier of a crumbly old place in the crumbly old countryside in Yorkshire. And merciless self-publicist.

Sunday, 26 June 2011

Henny Penny - not only is the sky falling in, but your release date has been put back five months.

I have acquired a Hen Borstal.

This is a temporary state of affairs, these hens have been found guilty of nothing more than minor traffic offences, plus one count of aggravated assault being taken into account. They will be released into the community in due course, with admonishments to behave themselves and certainly not to do that bank job that they have been secretly planning in that hut of theirs, and until that time they are in secure accommodation in the middle of my lawn.

There are five of them. We chose five because there are five of us, and that means that, while neither group has superiority of numbers, we reckon we could probably take them, should there be an avian uprising, particularly since hen-response to surprise attack seems to be less organised and a lot noisier than ours. We haven't named them yet, they are just Prisoner One, Prisoner Two, Prisoner Three, etc, but these designations remain fluid as we can't tell them apart yet either. I tried putting them into little uniforms covered in prison arrows and with numbers on the breast pockets, but chickens don't wear clothes. Apparently. So they are just know as The Chickens, in a rather Godfather like way.

They are, most definitely, planning something. Look at the way they are all staring in different directions. They're going to demand one of those vaulting-horse things next, you mark my words.

Of course the dogs and cats regard this new establishment as the animal version of the Big Brother house and watch every new development with keen eyes, albeit with a lack of Geordie voice-over. There has been much communal pressing of noses to the house windows and extreme excitement every time one of the hens appears, or lies down, or scratches... it's like living with the paparazzi trying to get a shot of Kate and Wills.

I shall be sure to let you know as release date approaches. You may want to throw a net over your strawberries, and also be prepared to buy back all your valuables from the local car boot sale. I am trying to rehabilitate them, but there is just no helping some chickens...