Released from ghosts of past with Yeshuah's Help

Subject: Released from ghosts of past with Yeshuah's Help Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:20 am

Today I wanted to Yahweh healed me from ghosts of past, ghosts were haunted me and now I wanted finally to end that.I want to share this with you my Sisters and Brothers in Yahweh.

If you want to talk or ask question, feel free do that.

I prayed Lord's prayer in german, then I looked my little brother's crucifix. I placed my father's Bible on front of me. I know this can become tough and I know I get my heart and body to the sore condition.

I remembered my past.When I was 13-years old, I almost saw my father's suicide with his own gun in Christmas Eve... He didn't do suicide because of his children. That was terrible Christmas Eve ever...

I remembered that night when I was raped by young man. I was then 13-years old.When my father heard about that, he went in his work and beaten up his colleague by name of discipline and by revenge. He get fired from his work (he was guard in jail.). When he came home he taught me and my brother fighting without weapon, shot with guns, fight with swords and taught self defense. When I was 14-years old social workers took me away from my divorced parents.They put me in shut crisis ward. In there I were zwei moths.

I tell you about that place now clearly.Many can't believe that what they hear about in somekind of that place, they shut their eyes from that example my mother don't believe single word that I tried to tell her crying. She don't believe. One lovely couple other was doctor, he was shocked for his colleagues work habits.

Other example is, here in Finland was shut ward boyschools, were those young little boys were raped everyday. Still they growed up like men and they get their life and joy back. I am happy for those boys!

I start telling:

When I arrived there in ambulance, I were receive two big bald muscle mans in white.When they take me in room where was half russian and finnish above doctor, she wasn't nice person and I didn't understanded her accent, she spoke awful finnish and more awful english. Those mans who was taked me in that room, they scrutinized my every clothes and they casts them on the floor. When they were finished that they forced to me collect my things back in my bag. I went on my knees and started to collect my things. I felt I am like mongrel because in that half hour those three tooked away my human value. In their eyes I was only test animal.That above doctor gave me wrong diagnose.

Two mans taked to me to my room, number 15. On my room's window was iron bars side by side, my room was white, two bed on both side of room and on white closet with lock.“Why on my room has iron bars?” I askedMan aswered coldly “That why brats like you don't jump on the fourth floor! Or are you so stupid?” then he get away, they left me alone.

First night begin my hell on Earth. Those nurses gave me drugs and I felt awful, I wanted to spit them out. They forced me to take those drugs or otherwise they give to me shot an injection.I tooked drugs and I get on my room to sleep. Moonlight flashed from window and I felt alone, abandoned. I started to cry, I cried and I wanted to die.

Next weeks I every night wanted to die, I called Death to come to take me away.Nurses used to me and other children mental violence, they used their physical strength, their doctor values to give drugs and menace to us. When we tried to fight back for defense, nurses stamp us always on floor, literally.

That was like some nightmare. My own nurse named Osmo talked with me, he cross-examined me yelling and menaced me.Those doctors and nurses taught to us to hate them.There was nurse called Ville, Ville told me and other girl named Hanna “My my... You blonds are so pretty...”. I heard that nurse Ville exploitation Hanna regularly. Hanna was year younger than me, she told me about that nurse. I started to fear that man. Because I haven't no were to run, every phone calls were listened and every letter nurses and doctors opened and readed.

I did mistake and send letter to my childhood friend Katrin, that she try help me out, because I can't stand anymore be in here. I told her in that letter what I have experienced.When I must get my day drugs I saw my wrote letter in peaces in trashcan. Then I started really fear, I had make worser my situation in their eyes.

I was six weeks in four walls, I didn't get even outside. After that letter thing, nurses started to humiliate me, they ripped off my clothes on me and pushed me in ice cold shower. That action last till last day every single day plus every day they take dope testing two times in day.I wanted to die literally, every night I get reason to live next morning.I now know reason was given by Yeshuah, He comforted me.

One day Ville tried came near to Hanna, I runned berween them and hugged Hanna, I said to Ville "Don't even try today.". Ville grinned to me evilish way and touched my rear."Don't do that!" I yelled. Ville took his hand away and said to other nurse "Give this brat calming injection. She is acting aggressive.".Other man gave to me injection, and my legs went numb and I felled down on my knees. "thank you.." Hanna whispered in shock, then she ranned away in her room.

Ville grabed my hair painfully and tugged my hair. Then he forced me tugged me by hair, to look ceiling. Pain make tears came like rain in my eyes."Oh... This boygirl can still cry. God's power is not able to came in here." Ville said and yelled "Sami get this brat to sleep in her room! Maybe she saw good dreams of crucifixion.", then Ville laughed and loosed his hand from my hair, then grinned again.

Nurses didn't gave information when I can go home, no any information. When the day came when I get away from that Hell of Earth, I was promised to myself:I hate everyone who try “help me” and I never trust anyone.

In that Hell of Earth I taught to hate and I carried inside me great sorrow and pain.. I was ready to even kill for revenge.

*deep and drained sigh* Those nurses were sadistic sick persons and they talked awful things to me and other children.I founded myself crying in pain like child when I had wrote this text.

That was one part of my past. Next I shall write what after that happened.I have tell you my painful past, more text are telling how I get to my count on people back and how my hate and sorrow reversal happiness and joy and how I faund Yeshuah.Now I take break from writing and I will write more later.

Ramona, Your story is so tragic. I know of men who are beasts in real life. These are people who cannot function in a complete society, but get a life where they are not looked at closely. Unfortunately, these beasts are in no way trying to find Yahweh God. They are wallowing in Satan's cesspool.

I am sure that Yahweh has protected you, as you are still here to bring such joy to all our lives. Your being on this site has brought so much to my life. Tell your story. Get the poison out of your soul and we will all be witnesses to this. Then let Yahweh begin to heal you.

This is advice to the rest who are reading Ramona's story. We know what two legged beasts are. We know that they are capable of anything. We must not let these experiences eat away big black holes in our souls. Vomit these stories up and get the sickness of them out. Let us pray for you to heal. That is what family is all about. Ramona, Jennifer, Ricky; you are my family like my own children.

I pray that your souls become healthy. In Yeshua's precious name. Amen.

Subject: The Lions Den:When the Holy Spirit leads you from the world's grasp: Can we avoid temptation. Mon Dec 21, 2009 11:18 am

Ramona;

I knew from the few emails I rec'd from you and reading your words, previous to your unvieling of your past, that it was well tragic. Children are to be valued, taught, encouraged, they are truly our future. Christ even says to come to Him as little children. I am so sorry for your pain.

Your ability to vomit it out is good though, and yes allow Yahweh to bring in the healing balm you are so worthy of.

I believe our pasts can be testimony and witness to one another, that Yahweh has purpose for us, in surviving such horror and that we are truly meant to be free and here to help our brothers and sisters.

A friend I shall call "rick" was brought up by an evil man, his father, who left him chained like a dog to the porch of his trailor that was out in the middle of nowhere. Rick had to eat his food out of a dog bowl while his father was inside with men and women drinking and partying. Rick was violated in every conceivable way, by the people who were suppose to love, protect, and teach him. One day Rick was working in the yard and his father was at home alone passed out on the couch. Rick set the home on fire and never looked back. Rick eventually married a wonderful woman, got off drugs and even began helping his brothers and sisters. Until one day his son was playing with his gun out on the front lawn the gun went off and he died. Rick was devastated and got back into the drugs, and was arrested in the middle of a drug cook. He is in prison for the rest of his life. Being associated with Rick was a privilege, to hear where he had come from, and to see him helping his brothers and sisters, off the drugs, but he had not turned to Christ, he was a pagan. Now in prison, he encourages others to get off the drugs, but if his life is not kept in Christ, if he is doing it under his own name, the foundation no matter how good will fall. I pray he finds peace somewhere in Arizona in whatever prison he is in. I pray he finds Yahweh, but I cannot go looking for him, or anyone else in my past. I believe, if the "Lord" wants me to be there, or to help, he will that to me. Please keep Rick and the Arizona Brotherhood in prayer.

Jennifer, You are so right. Having a clean house isn't enough. Luke 11:24) 24"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' 25) When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26) Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."

As this evil spirit arrives, he finds the house clean and put in order, but empty. Had that man filled his house with the Holy Spirit of Yahweh and filled his heart with the Love of Yahweh and Yeshua, the evil spirit would not have been able to come back. It is true that "rick" may find peace, but it may not be the peace of mind that he needs from demons who have nothing to fear.

I am sorrowful when I read the tragedy that has been in your lives, but encouraged as I read how you have turned these horrific experiences to positive influences in your lives.

Subject: Re: Released from ghosts of past with Yeshuah's Help Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:12 am

Thank you Linda and Jennifer your comforting words.Jennifer; I will keep Ricky and Arizona Brotherhood in my prayers.

This morning I had terrible sickness in spirituality. I will tell my story finish:

My mother taked me in youth home, when I get away from that Hell.Youth home's door opened blond haired and kindhearted man, he said“Welcome, I'm Petri and I am this home's leader. Nice to meet you young lady.” then he smiled. My mother left me on doorstep and I was again alone. Petri blinked his light blue eyes and touched me hearten on my shoulder.

I felt terrible, I wanted to kick him. I wanted he to suffer. “Thank you, Herr.” I murmured.“Come inside, I want know you better.” he said softly, I went with him.In first night boy named Joel, get locked in bathroom, he started scream for his life, he had bad trauma's from bathroom. That was when his father used him as like “girlfriend” and his father chocked Joel at same time and in the end his father tried to drowned him in bathtub.Petri was alone with us, he understanded Joel were in trouble, quickly he get axe and broked into pieces bathroom's wood-door. Petri helped Joel away from bathroom, boy was white from shock and he cried against Petri.

I realized how much Petri cared for us. Went four days, I wanted to be alone. My room was big and comfort. Petri knocked my door, I stand up on bed and let him inside. He had files and bible in his hands. Petri placed bible on my desk and walked in front of me, he asked can he sit on the bed.I nodded, he sat and watched files.“Ramona... I can't believe how difficult you have been in your last place. Do you want tell me about it?” and blinked his eyes and gave smile.I moved hasty, but something warm came around me, I calmed down. I told Petri whole story.

Petri's eyes came in to tears, he swallowed “I... I can't believe... You have been around devil's people. I am deeply sorry.”. I swallowed, I didn't mean him to cry, I walked on front of him and I fell on my knees. I started cry, Petri lift me up and placed me sit on his lap. I cries and cried. He hugged me tightly and petted my head and back. He whispered in my ear “Let Yeshuah's love heal you.”My heart which were get into ice in that Hell, my heart started melted.Petri taught to me love one another.

In same night Petri came in my room with bible and sat down on the chair and read bible to me. When he was finished, he petted my head gently and said “Yeshuah Bless you and His angels be with you to night, guarding your sleep. We see each other in the morning on kaffee table.”Petri did that method whole five years with me, in every night. Petri came like Father to me in five years. I gave him nickname Leo as Lion.

Timothy was over 40-years old man, he was also bodybuilder like Petri. He taught me to aim my aggression of sorrow and hate to bodybuilding and punching bag. That really helped.Timothy always wear pink t-shirt and he liked to tell different stories about life. He had only big old she doberman in his home.

Jani was like my big brother, he was bald and 32-years old and he belonged Harley Davidson MC motorcycle group. He taught to me happiness and joy. Once I was trying to hit him, my arm stopped suddenly. Jani taked on my both hands and said to me “Ramona. I have two moths year old daughter Iiris and I say this in my pure heart; I love you same way as I love my daughter. Ramona, you broke my heart if you hit me.”.I lower my arm and I apologize from him my acts and called him to Herr.Jan said to me “Don't call me Herr. I want you feel that we are your big sisters and big brothers.”

Timothy ran and yelled “Jani! You are really brother! Really annoying!”, Jani tooked cigarette and pushed Timothy on the ground, Timothy lied on his back on the grass and swear.Jani started smoke and asked Timothy “Why you always wear pink? Mmm... Are you those guys..?”I started laughing when I saw Timothy's face. Jani hugged me and said “I knew you can still find happiness and joy!”

Five years I was under Petri's, Jani's and Timothy's wings. In that time I learned love, trust, happiness and joy.They taught also me in first homeschool because, my drugs were so terrible day dose.Petri wanted to end my drug dose's because he saw that was wrong and whole diagnose were totally wrong.My drug ring which were born in that Hell, Petri ended it, in third year when I was under his wing.Petri taught me bible and Yeshuah's love, kindness and toleration.

I get caught from smoking cigarette, Petri wanted to see me because I was underage.“Why you came to me?” he asked and smiled kindly “I get caught from smoking, Petri.” I answeredHe leaned back and said softly “I understand you well. You have trauma's from that place. So if you want smoke and that relieve your spiritual pains, do that with Jani. Jani is good company with you.”I was surprised, no yelling or punishing.

They cured totally my broken soul and my heart which were in pain and great sorrow. What those people did me in there Hell on Earth in only zwei moths, was terrible like some kind of nightmare.Petri, Jani and Timothy cured my soul and gave back my human value in five years. Like Yahweh Himself have send them to help me on my feet again and learned to live again.

Now I have tell my story to you, my painful past and how I faund Yahweh and Yeshuah.

Subject: The Lions Den:When the Holy Spirit leads you from the world's grasp: Can we avoid temptation. Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:12 pm

Ramona, thank you for sharing that bit of your story. Sounds like you had wonderful children from Yahweh helping you. Guarding you, like Angels with their light. I remember when I was staying at a christian mission, in the middle of a street war, and despite all that was going on right outside my front door..."the devil's playground for sure" I felt safe and protected by the word of God, and a few people in my life I will not forget.

My friend Sue, introduced me to this Jesus she talked about in the middle of that in 1994, and we have been sisters since.

Yes I too had a "leo" the lion in my life. He was a child in the kingdom trying his best, but double mindedness got the best of him. The Lord says if we are luke warm he will spit us out. And he does I have watched him, spit people out of the kingdom, and very quickly, His power is immense. But I too have watched people come into the kingdom, and it is so beautiful and amazing to be part of. And the power Yahweh has to bring people in wow very immense.

Those years must have been amazing for you...isn't it wonderful to have that testimony too.

Subject: Re: Released from ghosts of past with Yeshuah's Help Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:46 pm

Danke Linda, Pastor Robert und Jennifer.

Thank you for your words My Sisters and Brothers in Yahweh.Yes, I had those wonderful children of Yahweh, guiding me and they healed me.

Yes Jennifer, those years were amazing and is wonderful to have testimony.

I am happy of you and you Sister Sue! Thank you for your story of your "leo", Jennifer.

I had quiet few days, Yeshuah have healed me in those days.Now I feel better and stronger! I am really relieved, that I shared my past with you my Dear Brothers and Sisters. That poison in me, have finally gone away. Finally at last.

Subject: Re: Released from ghosts of past with Yeshuah's Help Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:42 am

It seems in this day and age with the economy like it is, that we are being tempted by Satan more and more. It is hard to be Christian and fair in a world that deceives and manipulates your every move. It is hard to be moral and upstanding when people steal from you and then make you fight to get back what is rightfully yours in the first place. And it is especially hard to deal with these people and still try to be an example of what true Christianity is.

Don't give in to the temptation that Satan offers. It will be the hard road you choose, but remember, you cannot show others what a true Christian is if they can lay any blame at all on your shoulders. Our bible study says Abraham was blameless. He didn't give into Satan at any time whatsoever. We should try hard to follow his example no matter how difficult it makes our lives. Yahweh never said this would be easy and Paul said in . . .

2 Timothy 4:7)I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8)Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Fight the fight - finish the race - keep the faith - and don't let Satan sway you off the track with ways to make your life easier by talking you into "doing this one little thing, nobody will know about it anyway" like he did with Eve in the Garden with the fruit.

Keep up the work for Yahweh. It is His wish for us. It is our mission in this life.