About Me

The first kind of honesty is honesty with myself. If I am honest with myself, there need be no situation in which I am not honest with others.
If someone does not believe me, if someone distrusts me, perhaps it is a sign that I need to check myself. Instead of blaming them, I should realise this, and look where I have gone wrong.
Honesty does not mean simply speaking your mind. Honesty means to be very clear about everything going on inside you. Where there is honesty, feelings become pure and clean.
When we have the virtue of honesty, there will be clarity reflected in our words; they will be filled with the power of truth, and spoken with ease and without hesitation.
Think before you speak and choose your words with care. Flavour your conversation with vibrant words and expressions. Heighten your perception and live a rich and vivid existence.
Thought for reflection: Genuine honesty cultivated within you is what will reach out and touch others.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The end of 2009 is approaching. As always, it is only at the end of something, that weak human beings start to reflect over their life.

As for me, 2009 has been one of the best year in my life. Yes, the best.

Here are the reasons why.

1. Friends and their family.2009 is the year where I get to be closer with lots of friends that I am proud to have. 2009 is also the year where I stayed with lots of my friends at their house. This gives me the opportunity to get to know their families and lifestyles. My friends have wonderful families. Their parents always welcome me warmly to their house and are always generous with hugs. I believe strongly that good family foundation will determine what kind of a person you are. The wonderful hospitality that I had experienced - Gnet's parents and siblings, Brenda's parents and brother, Steph's parents and sister, Joyce's parents, Eileen's parents, and Connie's daddy. Thank you all. My 2009 is great, thanks to you all.

2. Sucky friends.2009 will be the year where I remember that friendship hurts as well. Years long of friendships is destroyed with reasons that until now I do not know why. Nor do I bother to know now because it would not change anything already. However, after months of healing, I realise the experience has taught me a lot. I am grateful for the experience, I am grateful to get rid of the people that did me more harm than good and I am grateful for who I turn out to be after the incident. I am grateful that I no longer spend hours gossiping and laughing over someone's imperfect teeth. I am grateful to be able to break away from my comfort zone and enter new zones. I am grateful that I no longer play a part in discriminating people I don't like. I know I had hurt people terribly before, and in the end, I tasted my own medicine when they pushed me out. Padan muka saya. Oh well, overall it is still an enlightening experience.

3. Jalan-jalan.Oh yessssssssss, 2009 is the funnest year of all because I get to visit so so so many places. Melaka, Bukit Tinggi, FRIM, Cameron Highlands, Batu Caves, and ICG in Johor. Not to forget Miri and Sabah!! And of course, Kuala Lumpur!! I love visiting all the above places, especially when you have great company. Coming in 2010, Mount Kinabalu climb in June and definitely something will go on as well in December. Somewhere overseas perhaps? I crave for Boeing 747. ^ ^

4. Graduation.The end of my university life. The end of my six years of degree-studying. I have achieved what I have wanted academically and still get lots of fun along the way. I am glad that I do not choose to bury my nose into books and live a mundane life of studying. I study moderately and play hard. And 2009 proves that all has been worthwhile. Master study coming soon...I hope.

5. Erhu.I performed in an orchestra! On a stage! WOW. @.@ And I learned to play erhu. Another music instruments skills under my belt. *beaming

6. Alcohol consumption.2009 is the year I am exposed to so much drinking. And also to geng makcik minum. To remember all the stupid things we do and say when we are not sober. To remember back all the things we dare to dobecause we are not sober.

7. Work.Yes, I am a working adult. YUCK. It sounds like such a heavy responsibility. But I do enjoy the salary that I get. I have to admit that I was surprised when I received my first posting because it was in a rural area. However, on my second day of working, I felt right at home. My immediate adaptation to a new place surprises me as well. And since my posting, I never miss home. I still love my parents of course but I wouldn't mind to live all by myself. I wouldn't mind not going back to my hometown during holidays. I am ready to start a new life by myself.

Finish studying and starting to work are definitely the highlights of 2009. These are all the things that happened in 2009 that makes my life kinda interesting. How about you?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Thirty teachers from my school grabbed the opportunity to visit Bakun dam on 8 November 2009. The trip was very memorable as I experienced a lot of first-times in the trip.

1. First time to wear and own a corporate shirt.

2. First time to wear a life jacket.

3. First time to naik perahu.

4. First time to camwhore in an open boat.

5. First time to wear a hard hat.

6. First time to visit the Bakun dam.

7. First time to follow an outdoor trip with the other teachers.

8. First time to try to jump while wearing a pair of boots.

9. First time to visit a primary school that is so rural, you get RM1500 of hardship allowance.

10. First time to climb up a 4WD

I am glad to have this bunch of noisy and loud teachers as colleagues. They remind me so much of my crazy friends in UKM. We laughed so hard and made such loud noise that we don't really seem like teachers. Oh well, better act and stay young while we still can.

Looking forward to my next adventures.

p/s I have always believe that things happen for a reason, regardless of how hard and how painful it is. As times pass, I started to see things where I am hugely blessed. Experience has taught me a lot. :-D

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I know I should have updated my blog more often. I know I should post some new entries in my blog.

But life lately has either been too interesting and busy that I could not find any time to jot it down, or life has been too boring that there is nothing I could write down.

Still, that is not an excuse. I should really put an entry soon. Soon, people. Soon.

For now, I am busy with the school's annual prize ceremony. There are hundreds of presents to wrap and thousand of money to give away. And I am in charge of all these. Lots of new things to learn, lots of new craps to learn as well.

Monday, August 31, 2009

It is the end of the holiday. It is time to say goodbye again to my loved ones.

I am sad that the holiday has ended, but at the same time I am also restless for more actions in my working place. Hihi...

So, since I have fixed my mind in settling down for several years in my new working place, it is time to buy all my stuff. Therefore, this morning, me and Miss Chok (my housemate) rushed around Bintulu town like mad women, buying thousands ringgit of stuff as in the afternoon, we had to travel again.

I have never spend so much before in my life. -..-

Here are some of the things that I have bought to make my life in a small, rural town more interesting.

Undoubtedly, washing machine is important! Basuh baju tired oh...(btw, i assembled the washing machine all by myself. I am considering to work as a technicion now as my part time job. Afterall, i can assemble a washing machine all by myself. All my myself. Have I told u guys that I assemble a washing machine all by myself? yeah...)

TV is important. So is DVD player. Astro decoder coming soon. :-) One needs to know the latest E-news, the latest gossip, and the interesting history lessons, True Hollywood Story. The tv is still in the box. No time to open it up yet.

Sorry for the messiness. I just couldn't find the time to clean my room properly as marking students' exam papers are more important. Class starts tomorrow. -.- Oh, I love love love love my double bed. I can guling kiri and guling kanan while tidur. Soon, the grumpy monkey will be joining me. Together we will guling kiri and guling kanan. Guling kiri and guling kanan. Guling guling. The whole night.

Lastly, a refrigerator. To store food. Healthy food.

All the things above only cost RM1650. Cheap right? They are huge and gigantic and are useful in our daily life.

There are someone however who spent RM1400 for tiny, un-spectacular, fragile thing.

:-p Just teasing you dear.

And did I tell you, that I simply love my new room? Love, love, love, love it. Hihi. Presenting for the first time online, here is my room!! *clap clap

My personal bathroom. No need to share. Use by myself and clean by myself.

My room has very very nice rows and rows of cupboards. And I do have lots and lots of things to put inside. I have years to do so. :-)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

One year ago, Ah Bien was this cute, obedient little dog. Isn't she adorable?

This is my niece. This picture was taken a day after she was born. She weighted 3.95kg. LOL.

It is very interesting to observe the procedure of taking care of a baby. For example, we are ordered to only say negative things to the baby because it is believed that the opposite will happen instead. So, I have fun in calling her - NAUGHTY, UGLY, DARK.

And therefore, in many years to come, she will be obedient, pretty and fair. If the old saying is true la... -.-

Monday, May 11, 2009

Anyway, it has been three months since I last saw you. I was in KL completing my last semester in my degree. I looked forward to come back and see you.You have definitely grown since I last saw you! Your mother told me that you weight 3.2kg already. Be good in there now and wait patiently for the right time for you to come out, ok?

When I first touched you, I felt a rush of love in my body system. I have fallen in love with you without even seeing you yet! You will have so many people loving you in this life, so make us all proud!Hihi...no, I wasn't kicking you. It was just a random photoshot.

I was really excited waiting for your arrival. There will be much to see and learn. There will be much pain and love too.I am amazed by the wonderful way you are created.

This is your uncle. He loves you unconditionally as well!

Other than looking forward to see you, I was looking forward to see Ah Bien too, your mother's pet dog. Ah Bien doesn't remember me well after three months not seeing her. :-( However, Ah Bien is one retarded, stupid and funny dog. You would enjoy playing with her.

There is another pet dog too called Lucky. This dog is friendly to everyone, including strangers so he is useless in protecting the house. However, you should be wary of strangers. The world nowadays is dangerous and not safe.Oh, by the way, on that day, it was Mothers' Day. When you come out, you must remember this important day and treat you mother nicely. Your mother, your uncle and me planned to buy a cake for dinner for your grandmother. Your grandmother is great. I am proud to have her as my mother.Happy Mothers' Day, mom!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Now is the exam week. It is the time when people should bury their noses in their books.

Because *some people* have been telling me not to disturb them during exam week, I bought dozens of instant noodles, expecting lonely lunches and dinners.

Those dozens of instant noodles are still in my cupboard.

I should know earlier that they need to eat too despite busy with their studying. So I ended up still going out to have lunch or dinner with them.

Anyway, these few days I stayed in the library. It had been very hot days lately, and my hostel room is not conducive enough for me to study, to sleep, or to play computer games.

So I stayed the whole day in the library. With the makciks. The air conditioner is a blessing during hot days.

So there were times when we were too boring in the library. Or a sudden craving for munching stuff.

We 'seludup' food into the library though it is not allowed.

We played simple games when we were bored studying.

Today is damn hot again. I miss the library.

p/s There were some matters that had been bothering me for days. During one of the laughing sessions with the 'makciks', I suddenly realised that I should be enjoying the present, and not the past. So damn all those memories. It is the present that matters.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I spend the whole day in the library today studying for the coming exam.

Yes, I am proud of myself. :-p

I went with Brenda at 10am. And stayed until the library almost closed.

I was in deep concentration studying when I heard Brenda started to mumble to herself. That is normal since I know that different people have different learning styles.Then, I started to pay attention to what she was mumbling. My, it was interesting. :-p

Some of the stuff she mumbled.

"Oh, I see..."

"Like that.."

"Ok, ok"

"...(mumble indistinctly)..."

"let's try this over again..." followed by rigorous rubbing with an eraser.

She is very animated. LOL

She continued to mumble."Brenda!" (calling her own name!)

"Oh, stupid!"

"Stupid me!"

At that very moment, I wished that I was not in the library.

Because it would have made me feel so good to shout at her...

"You memang stupid ma! You don't know meh? Stupid your head ah!" LOL

No offense, but that is simply the way we usually talk. Or is it the way I talk?

Monday, April 13, 2009

The last year in UKM has been the most fulfilling year in my life. I was busy running here and there - with outdoor activities, society activities and assignments. As I sat down and reflected over my experience in this one year, I am satisfied as these was the time that was most well spent in my life. Yes, definitely most well spent.

I wish I have one more year in UKM.

But I can't as I am bonded in my studies. I need to work as soon as I graduate. I would have like to continue my studies in Master full-time in UKM but this is impossible.

I wish I have one more year in UKM. I would learn more about different Chinese instruements in Orchestra Traditional UKM.

I wish I have one more year in UKM. I would join the Ballroom Dance UKM.

I wish I have one more year in UKM. I would like to serve CSS longer.

I wish I have one more year in UKM. I would like to visit the places that I have not visited yet.

I wish I have one more year in UKM. I would like to get to know more new friends through activities.

I wish I have one more year in UKM. I could not leave my crazy friends. Yet. It's too soon. It's too fast. We have just started our journey together. Our memories together are just too few and not enough.

I desperately wish I have one more year in UKM.

Because in 26 days, there are some people that I might never see again in my life. Because in 26 days, there are some people that I won't be seeing in regular basis. Because in 26 days, I am saying goodbye to the things and people that matter to me.

Monday, March 16, 2009

I know I have lots of things to do this week, but I decided to DUMP everything, and went for a trip with my crazy friends.

To Cameron Highlands.

The place that I had wanted to go ever since I was small.

Putting all the assignments and practices behind, ten of us embarked on a trip.

There were lots of sight-seeing, lots of food and lots of fun - especially at night before we went to sleep. LOL.

On Sunday late afternoon, we traveled back to Puduraya. I slept for several hours and then I woke up. Naturally, I looked out of the window, I saw the dark sky - it was raining / drizzling. And suddenly I felt an ache in my heart.

Ache for getting back to a place where works await. Ache for after having so much fun, it is HARD to get back to a normal life.

And a painful ache and sadness for knowing this could be the last trip I took with the SS group.

I have not spend enough time with you people.

You all make me a better person.

You all help me to pick up pieces of my heart and glue it back.

You all teach me to laugh all the time.

You all show me what cincai means.

You all are so DAMN generous with love and hugs.

It is hard to think and wait for the day when I know we will be seperated and I will miss you all like crazy.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I already start studying for CA test, which is on 17 March since I won't have the time to do so next week.

I need to call some of the CSS juniors to pass the nomination forms to them. Tonight or tomorrow. And also to get the hostel form from them to pass to Joyce. Then, tonight, there's er-hu practice.

This Saturday, I am free! Must study for CA though.

Then, this Sunday, I go for an outing.

Next weekend, I go for an overnight trip.

I have to prepare for CSS fellowship on 13 March. That will includes spending time on singing practice and discussion on the flow of the fellowship.

I also need to allocate time for discussion on CA assignment. The presentation is on 12 March. Exactly on the same day, I have to do Techno presentation as well. The next morning, I have to hand in a Lesson Plan. And the full compilation of Life Science work. And at night, is the CSS fellowship, which I am in charge with.

I'm looking at my diary, almost all weekdays are packed with drama practices and er-hu practices. One will be performing on 22 March, another 31 March.

There is still a dinner function on 25 March that me and Gnet might or might not crash.

Educational Technology requires us to do posters and pictures - art things that I am not good at. Thank God for those three makciks yang willing to help.

Lastly, I need to constantly upgrade my pet in Pet Society and toughen up my guy in Mafia Wars. That needs LOTS of time!

I am just back from a two-hour meeting. I'm tired, sweaty and very sleepy. I want to bath to freshen myself up and do some work.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

No, I do not wear frightening-unsexy-low-waist jeans that show your buttock lines and too-small-baby-shirt that show your stomach. No, I am a decent dresser. (too old fashion sometimes :-p)

It happened like this.

I was paying full attention to Joyce during the meeting yesterday when Gnet, who was sitting next to me, grabbed my stomach. She actually attempted to tickle me, but it ended up grabbing instead. Talk about someone being pervert here...

Anyway, after the embarrassing grabbing which I have no prior warning, nor do I give her permission to touch my waistline, she said, "Oh, you have a 'tyre' stomach."

And there, my secret is exposed.

The reason I do not go swimming.

The reason I do not wear overly-small-size baby shirt.

The reason I always suck in my breath when I sat and saw my bulging stomach.

I am so going to FAST on food during this Lent season.

On the other hand, maybe I will start tomorrow. Connie and Brenda invite me for dinner.

I am going to eat to the fullest tonight and try to fast tomorrow. Amen.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

In my opinion, the best movie adaptation from a novel is A Walk To Remember.

I cried watching the movie, I cried reading the book.

Two days ago, I stumbled on someone's review on The Notebook. This movie is again based on the same author, Nicholas Spark. I was so curious, so I went and downloaded it from uTorrent. Thanks to the fast connection, several hours later, I sat down and watched.

To save time, I usually watch movie using 2x speed. Therefore, I use only 1 hour to watch a 2 hour movie. Having subtitles help.

Despite watching the actors and actresses talking and moving extremely fast, it is still a tear-jerker movie. If I watched it in normal speed, I would be bawling my eyes out.

Very much recommended to people out there. For people who love PS I Love You, The Notebook is a better romantic movie. :-p

But A Walk To Remember is still the best tear-jerker movie I ever watched. The Notebook is my no.2. PS I Love You is not even in my ranking list.

*There are so many movies in my laptop, I wish I have the time to watch. Haih...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I took the below article from Hakim's blog. It is a very interesting read.

By the way Hakim, I didn't know you have change your blog, but I found out your new address from Cat's blog. Thanks Cat, hello again Hakim! :-)

"It is important to make time for friends as we grow older.

FRIENDSHIP can be inspiring and healing, if you are the type to nurture your relationships with old friends and colleagues, and others of any age group.

Studies have confirmed that such relationships keep you healthier.

There are times when loving family members are not around when you need solace most, and the presence of a caring friend is therapeutic. It zaps stress, revs up the immune system, and imbues us with a sense of security. We feel lifted up, happy, hopeful and loved.

In an enduring friendship, you learn to be loyal and patient. You forgive each other’s weaknesses and build on your strengths. You are honest with each other, and you have heart-to-heart chats.

You may do silly little things and often have a good laugh together. The more you can laugh together and at each other, the healthier the relationship is. *all you crazy ppl, laugh at my face la! :-p*

There may be a price to pay when you make friends too much of a priority. You may have to adjust your own leisure hours, have less privacy, tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies, and compromise on eating and shopping habits.

The important thing here is not to be possessive about each other’s time and company. And be comfortable enough to say that you want some time alone when the need arises.

Do not look for perfect friends. After all, could you promise to be a perfect one too? Through the years, having lived in different towns and cities, I have gained an increasing number of good friends. I enjoy various activities with them at different times in different places.

I have also kept up with some friends from my schooldays, my Kirkby friends who shared the unique experience of teacher-training in England, ex-colleagues from different schools, ex-neighbours and new ones, and fellow volunteers in various establishments. Through the years, we have accepted the changes that come with growing older.

I read somewhere that “There are big ships and there are small ships, but the best ship of all is friendship”.

A certain David Tyson Gentry has been quoted as saying: “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”

Yes, we don’t need to keep talking just to pass the time. As we grow older, we should be mellow enough to enjoy both active and restful sessions together; in fact, we might fare better with the latter.

For some of us, we are blessed with a spouse whom we consider as our best friend. We couldn’t ask for more.

We will never be lonely when we make time for friends. May we all grow old happily together through the magical bonds of enduring friendships"

Source: The Star Online"

The above article is dedicated to all my friends - my hometown friends (who are still around!), my roommate, the crazy people (you know who you guys are!), my church friends and to all my friends!

I must reminded myself again and again to never stop looking for new friends. Just because one is comfortable with the group of friends that he/she has now, doesn't mean he/she has to stop knowing other new people in life. Be dare to step out from the comfort zone of friends; get to know more people and touch them.

Friday, January 30, 2009

It was a drizzling afternoon when we finished packing our things into the car and started our journey from Sarikei to Kuching.

We heard news that there is a probability that Serian road to Kuching might be flooded. We referred the calendar, king tide occurs at 1915. Therefore, we need to reach Kuching before that hour.

My younger brother drove first. The road was wet, it was drizzling, then it was raining dogs and cat, then it was drizzling again. We drove at an average of 100km/hour.

We rested at Sri Aman, then my big brother drove. The weather was still wet.

My brother speeded up at the Sri Aman hill. When he nearly reached the top, we saw (too late), from the opposite direction, a white car was overtaking a huge lorry. The white car did not have the time to return to his own lane, nor enough time to fully overtake the lorry. The car was heading straight to our car. Both of us were driving at over 100km/hour.

Details:1. Our car climbed up the hill2. Two lanes become one lane.3. Reached the top of the hill4. Started to descend but suddenly saw a stupid white MPV overtook a lorry5. First instinct, brake6. After brake, car started to loose control, due to no ABS7. Our car started to slide8. Stupid white MPV noticed it, so it swayed to the left side.9. I also noticed, so no choice, I steered to the right side to avoid the collision.10. As our car already in sliding motion, I had difficulty in steering the wheels.11. Luckily, still manage to steer to the right side and avoid the stupid white MPV.12. However, our car slowly slided towards the lorry, which was at the right side.13. Quickly steered back to the left side and hold the steering tightly, not to let it spin crazily.14. Manage to avoid the lorry...within a few inches distance (actually, I felt this moment is the scariest one)15. Once our car passed the lorry, I tried to steer back tot the road, but not possible as our car totally lost control16. Our car eventually skidded to the side of the road filled with grass and mud and stop after a few meters....And mum pulled the hand brake...without much help though

Yes, we could have injured badly in this incident.

We could have injured badly if my brother froze and hit the incoming white car.

We could have injured badly if the car skidded and hit the lorry.

We could have injured badly if the car could not be stop in time and hit the drain.

But all the above do not happened. We are all alive and well.

Lessons learned...

Stupid white, imported car! Drive good car but obviously a very stupid driver. How can you overtake the lorry, when you can't even see the oncoming vehicle? And on a hill somemore, when most vehicles tend to speed up!! Stupid, stupid car. You didn't even return to see what happened to us! You might have killed FIVE people in the car, stupid!

Buy cars that are equipped with ABS system. We used Wira, an eight-year old car that is not equipped with the latest safety system. With ABS system, the car won't skid and the driver can still has full control of a car. Therefore, for cars without ABS, try not to jam brake, instead brake and release 3x. (My brother knows it, but when it comes to real situation, he tends to forget of what he should do. Who won't? He therefore claimed that he needs more practical lesson.

Never drive fast at Sri Aman hill. It is the second near-missed accident I have at the exact spot.

Always remember to drive safely, especially in the rain as the road is wet and slippery.