March 29 issue - Al Franken is eating a sandwichdemolishing it, reallyblissfully unaware of the barrage of wet, sticky mouth sounds he's sending into the microphone that hangs in front of his face. It's the third day of recorded rehearsals for Franken's daily radio show on Air America, a left-leaning, all-talk network that launches next week, and he's trying to choke down a quick lunch during the few minutes of commercials between segments. On the other side of the studio desk, the show's cohost, Franken's friend and radio pro Katherine Lanpher, is experiencing every note of the gastric symphony. She shoots him an amused, exasperated look. "Bet you're glad you didn't have the chips," she deadpans. It isn't the first time Franken has broken a cardinal rule of radio. "I tried to tell him yesterday he can't eat on the air." She laughs. "Listeners don't want to hear... that."

The next, he might launch into one of his characters, like Liam the Loose- Boweled Leprechaun (don't ask), who is, depending on your stomach, either achingly funny or stunningly juvenile.

Hmmm. I'm guessing...the latter?

At a black-tie dinner in Washington last spring, Franken says, Karl Rove ribbed him for standing when the president entered the room. But Rove remembers it differently. Franken, he says, came over to him and said, "I'm Al Franken. I hate you and you hate me." Rove says he was taken aback. "I said, 'I haven't met you. You seem like a nice enough fellow, sorry to disappoint you but I don't hate you'."

...Limbaugh, is one of a handful of liberal celebs with shows on Air America. Comedian Lizz Winstead will host a program with rapper Chuck D. Comedian and actress Janeane Garofalo has her own three-hour slot in the evening.

And these nobodies pass for "liberal celebs"? I've never heard of any of them except for Garofalo, and that's only because of her pacifist, anti-war outbursts a year ago.

This has the potential to lose many millions. Sponsers are likely to be hard to come by, aside from socialist outliers like Birkenstock and..., well, I can only think of Ben and Jerry's, but they're part of some multi-national conglomerate now. And you know this will be kept going through the election, no matter how much money it's losing.

I think the reason is that leftist politics cant survive the critical analysis and the spirited open dialogue promoted by talk radio.

NPRs closed intellectual version has an audience, but it has to be both highbrow and closed to unedited listener comments. If its too emotionally charged, its unappealing. If its opened up for comments from people like you and me, its showed to be logically flawed. Al Franken cant do anything more than energize the Democrat base for the election.

One of the grossest things imaginable is listening on the phone to someone chewing food on the other end of the line.

Not even close. Today's Parade magazine had this little treat highlighted with a food article:

Sheila's TipTo Clean Soft-Shell Crabs: Leave the legs and claws on. Lay the crab flat on its stomach. Make a cut just below the eyes and, using scissors, remove the face. Lift the shell to remove the spongy gills and innards. Turn the crab over and cut off the tail flap or "apron." What is left is edible. Rinse and pat dry. Proceed with recipe.

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