Psycho Phil

Oh boy, we’re deep into the presidential debates! You know what they say about presidential debates… “During presidential elections in the United States, it has become customary for the main candidates (almost always the candidates of the two largest parties, currently the Democratic Party and the Republican Party) to engage in a debate. The topics discussed in the debate are often the most controversial issues of the time, and arguably elections have been nearly decided by these debates (e.g., Nixon vs. Kennedy). While debates aren’t constitutionally mandated, it is often considered a de facto election process. The main target for these debates are undecided voters; those who usually aren’t partial to either political ideology or party.”

Ha ha… what a classic saying. Who knows what it means? Not me, but here are some sure-fire tips to help you decide who you’re voting for during this season!

Decide which candidate has the funniest name.

Study their policy on green-colored microphones. This is one of the biggest issues in the U.S., and it’s important to know each candidate’s stance.

Request that they challenge each other in a round of “Mario Party.” Consider a candidate that chooses to play as Dry Bones.

Study their stance on Weak Comic a Day. If a candidate does not absolutely love it, they are not worth your time.

If one of the candidates begins to sing “Dracula’s Theme”, make sure you do not vote for them.