The funeral planning meeting is no place to argue liturgical principles, lay down the law, and provide an outright refusal of the request for someone to give a eulogy at Mass. This creates bad feelings that can ripple through the family for years. But it can be an occasion to explain as gently as possible the principles involved and come to a solution which can keep everyone relatively happy.

Yet, it should be kept in mind that when we gather for the Eucharist we come together as sons and daughters of God who are all equally related by baptism. For the moment, the stranger and the marginal person are as close to us as spouse and children.

Pope Francis has several times told Cardinals directly that they are not princes of the Church, but shepherds. They should not act like princes, their style of life should be modest, and they should live in simpler quarters.