I'm finally leaving him

I'll spare the details, and touch on the main points or this would be super long.

He hasn't been home in nearly 3 weeks-goes to work, comes home to get cleaned up, goes to bar. Leaving my 4 year old in tears because he wants to see his dad, which he always leaves him with "I'll be back later buddy". And he shows up between 11pm-2am wreaking of alcohol. Not to mention the kids' bedtime is 730-830.

This has been every single day.

I sat him down to talk about this and he wouldn't really talk, he just says "this is why I'm single, because your a b**** all of the time" (talk about gas lighting)

Won't pay bills on time, but can go buy a motorcycle "because he worked for it" "maybe you should get a job too" when he knows I did and couldn't do it because of my multiple sclerosis right now, but I'm just "making excuses".

I've also been battling his mooching family since we got our own place. 2 are addicts and one just wants to be a bum. I don't want the 2 addicts near me or my kids (with plenty of good reasons) and I want the bum to go find his own place, but I'm also such a horrible person for that.

I do sit down and tell him what bothers me, and we will come to an agreement about whatever it is, but the next day he goes right back to doing what he does.

So I took our 2 boys and left to stay with a relative that graciously welcomed me with open arms. I don't have to worry about bills until I feel I can help out, which I'm really working towards. I haven't asked for money from my now ex, but I'll have to soon for diapers and food, because I don't feel it's right to keep asking my relatives to do it when he just blows his money at the bar anyways.

He's only contacted me once saying, " thanks for keeping my kids from me" which I'm not, he literally hasn't asked to see them at all, and I have no issue with them going to see him.

He really hasn't taken an interest in this pregnancy much at all. I update him with each appointment but he's just like...okay. Cool.

I'm scared to be a mom of 3 and doing it on my own. But I have a phone interview today for an online job. Everybody is happy and healthy now, and I'm just hoping for the best!

Good luck and good job getting the kids away from his drug abuser family. Seriously, who wants drug abuser living in their home. I get that family is important, but so is a safe home for yourself and your kids. Since it definitely seems over, I'd get a loan from family to pay a lawyer. Some states won't let you divorce while pregnant, but I hope you can still file for child support asap. Definitely don't take him as his word that he'll send you money if you don't have a legal agreement.

My sister's ex did the whole buy a motorcycle and a new truck thing. Even better, he did it a month before Christmas with all the money spent from their account. Yeah, and my sister worked too, so he waited until the day after payday (as a teacher she only got paid once at the end of the month) and spent all their money.

Everyone in his family and mine pitched in to help her buy presents and yeah, his family was disgusted by his behavior too. Ughhh, he left them that February for his pregnant girlfriend though so at least the situation didn't go on too long.

It's great that you have supportive family. Hugs to you and the kids. It sucks to go through this, but you deserve a true and loving partner.

Good luck and good job getting the kids away from his drug abuser family. Ser...

Posted
09/05/2018

Good luck and good job getting the kids away from his drug abuser family. Seriously, who wants drug abuser living in their home. I get that family is important, but so is a safe home for yourself and your kids. Since it definitely seems over, I'd get a loan from family to pay a lawyer. Some states won't let you divorce while pregnant, but I hope you can still file for child support asap. Definitely don't take him as his word that he'll send you money if you don't have a legal agreement.

My sister's ex did the whole buy a motorcycle and a new truck thing. Even better, he did it a month before Christmas with all the money spent from their account. Yeah, and my sister worked too, so he waited until the day after payday (as a teacher she only got paid once at the end of the month) and spent all their money.

Everyone in his family and mine pitched in to help her buy presents and yeah, his family was disgusted by his behavior too. Ughhh, he left them that February for his pregnant girlfriend though so at least the situation didn't go on too long.

It's great that you have supportive family. Hugs to you and the kids. It sucks to go through this, but you deserve a true and loving partner.

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