MetaCon in a Turtle Shell: Day 3

I awoke on Sunday to the sight and sound of Daisy and Peach in bed next to me, playing “Two Girls, One-Up.” Under normal circumstances I’d have joined them, but there was one last day of MetaCon. I knew I had a job still to do! After a quick shower to wash the mushroom juice off of me, I hopped on Yoshi’s back and made my way back to the DoubleTree.

Sunday at MetaCon is somewhat boring, truth be told. If I hadn’t had a few power mushrooms to gorge myself on, I’d have been bored out of my skull. I mean, Amtgard was still swinging their foam weapons, but I was not in the mood. Finally, after four shots of vodka and just as many mushrooms to help me along, I stumbled into the bright, flashing lights of the gaming room.

All around me blinked the sights of current-gen consoles. Having little experience with them, I sat myself down in front of the Wii. Wiis are for casual gamers, right? I should be able to pick it up without much problem. A girl sat next to me, and we picked up our controllers. She’d never played the game in front of us, and I wasn’t certain if I was watching a game or a power-up induced hallucination. I was leaning towards the latter, since what appeared before me was a game full of Capcom characters fighting Japanese Sentai cartoon characters. I played for about half an hour, at which point watching Roll become a Paladin with a broom of glowing power made me decide it really was a hallucination. Nothing like that would ever actually exist.

I then made my way to a panel that went by the name ‘Guess the Gender’. I went there expecting to be offended, but honestly, I left disappointed. I mean, I was a little offended, but it seemed more like anime geeks who didn’t realize their language could be offensive, rather than any jokes made specifically at the expense of transgendered people. There was problematic language, uses of the term ‘trap’ as though somehow people dress cross-gender specifically to trick heterosexual people, and the occasional thoughtless joke, but it seemed to be a panel more about playing with anime’s habit of being uncertain on gender more than anything.

When closing ceremonies came about, the convention shut down tight. The tabletop gaming room closed, the video game room closed, and even the Amtgard guys began shutting down. I tried to look in on closing ceremonies, but didn’t feel like dealing with the dragons on the stage. I turned to leave, when I ran into the guys from Greenboye.com. Remembering that I had a job to do, I quickly grabbed my bottle of vodka and attempted to interview them. They had the exact same plan, and our jaw-jacking was as the sound of dying cats. Thankfully, all it took to clear up the confusion was slapping Meth Mike with my vodka bottle a few times. He bowed to my superior interview style, and then we were golden.

I tried once again to leave, only to be beset upon by Nicholas Brendon. He had heard of my amazing manliness, and had sought me out specifically to fanboy all over me. I could hardly blame him, really. I decided to grant him an interview with me, since it seemed the sporting thing to do, and then I moved back to Yoshi. I hopped upon his back, and spurred him onwards.

As I left the hotel, I thought back to my MetaCon adventures. Had there been a point to the con? Not in the traditional sense, perhaps. But I’d spent time with my princess, and celebrities had gotten to meet me. I’d spent time amongst my people, and cast high-level Bard spells with the help of random strangers. In short, I’d had fun.

And in the end, is there any better recommendation for a Con? I certainly can’t think of one.