I write this letter particularly to those women with whom I share a past, practicing with the late Joshu Sasaki Roshi, and others in the Sangha whose confidence I feel I have betrayed. I offer this as my personal and heart-felt apology to you.

I failed you, and myself, out of blind devotion to the Roshi. Because of how much I gained in studying with him, I was not able to separate the practice that I valued so much from Joshu Sasaki the person, with his personal failings.

I benefited greatly from the Roshi’s teachings. He was someone I trusted with my life for proper Buddhist guidance, someone supposedly enlightened, to whom I gave my complete faith and obedience. When I and others confronted him regarding the accusations about his behavior, he repeatedly said, “Who are you going to believe, me or them?”

In ignorance and blindness I turned away my eyes and was unable to act to protect those harmed by Joshu Sasaki’s actions. I am sorry; I was wrong. I was not able to see this clearly until he died and the spell of his authority was lifted.

I am aware that there are many Sangha members whose wounds are still bleeding, who struggle with anger over this past harm. To those of you who have not yet shared your experience, I extend my sincere invitation to meet, whether by email, phone or in person, to share whatever you wish which may bring healing and allow me to offer my own personal apology to you.

PO Box 8, Jemez Springs, NM 87025

(575) 829- 3854

The death of our teacher, the loss of the direct transmission of the mind seal, and the uncovering of the scandal surrounding him, cast a shadow on the lineage of Rinzai Zen Buddhism.

The Bodhi has always been a place of deep healing and great community. Healing, and the renewal of our community, are needed now. This is an opportunity for me, and for all of us, to truly embody the Buddhist teachings and support each other in doing so. We must not lose sight of the practice that has brought value into our lives, which is larger than any one of us, including Joshu Sasaki.

I humbly ask for your participation in the future of Zen practices at the Bodhi.

In particular, I ask that we contemplate how to truly support the evolving role of women in expressing themselves fully as modern Buddhists. We must never allow any cult of personality, even the overarching domination of a patriarchal Zen master, to distort the teachings and harm the Sangha. As Abbess of the Bodhi Manda, I vow to protect even more fully the feminine presence within our Sangha and remain true to the core of Zen Buddhist practice. In this way, we will celebrate both male and female polarities by fully empowering men and women to join together to take the next steps in the unfolding of Buddhism at the Bodhi and in America.

In appreciation and gratitude for the Three Jewels- Buddha, Sangha and Dharma, I again offer my sincerest apology for any harm which I allowed. In Gassho, I bow to each and every one of you.

And some useful commentary from the sweeping zen site on the above posting:

[list=commentlist][*]Jeff Konrei MindeJuly 6, 2015 at 11:37 am

Two thoughts on this: One, that we should never, NEVER, *NEVER* invest any teacher with such authority as did Jiun. Zen teachers are human. Wearing the patched robe is supposed to make us more so, not less so. Two, though that “apologies” are fine and necessary, it is what happens after the apology that counts. I have seen too many teachers and too many pro forma apologies in the Zen community. I’d rather just say it from the outset:“This is a kesa, not a cape; and I AM going to screw things up more than once. Be patient with me, friends.”Reply[*]Mike CarterJuly 6, 2015 at 2:06 pm

An apology is fine but it’s not really the heart of the matter.You were hungry/greedy for something and that blinded you to what was going on. What’s more your hunger/greed was exploited to create a shield of concealment and enablement. Your need and desire for ‘attainment’ and ‘approval’ was fed and exploited not diminished.I don’t think there’s a lot to separate out. A guy who exploits and manipulates others is doing nothing more than spreading delusion and pain. This stuff is really simple. Is someone helping others to eliminate sufferring or is he creating it. Maybe he had some attainment, maybe not. Where did it take people?So much destruction caused by one man.Reply[*]Hollis deLanceyJuly 6, 2015 at 9:57 pm

Where is your email address? A very close friend of mine had to give this guy oral sex EVERY DAY, when she went in for Dokusan. She had/has unbelievable PTSD. She told me other women made her go into Dokusan and that they knew about it. She says that other women knew what was going on and did not do anything to stop it or help her or tell her she did not have to do it. They conspired to enable Sasaki and disempower her, using social pressure to make her feel an oppressed lower class member of the organization. How can you write something like this and not give your email address so that I can at least inform my dear friend of your offer?Reply[*]PaulJuly 13, 2015 at 2:35 am

Here’s the root of the problem: :He was someone I trusted with my life for proper Buddhist guidance, someone supposedly enlightened, to whom I gave my complete faith and obedience.”The word “enlightenment” has a very specific meaning in Buddhism, which has been lost and/or corrupted through the ages. Gotama became enlightened under the Bodhi Tree, when he had that one thought-moment in which he completely, utterly and finally extinguished his ego-self consciousness – aka “the builder of this house of suffering”.Until then, he really wasn’t enlightened, in the true sense of the word. He was part way up the mountain, sure – but he hadn’t reached the pinnacle we call Buddhahood or enlightenment.Your teacher was not enlightened. Period. He was part way up the mountain, he apparently had a lot of mojo, he could quote sutras and commentaries, and do all the things that teachers do. But being part way up the mountain, his ego-self was still very much a part of his mindstream.The problem – the real problem – is that almost all Buddhists these days are apparently ignorant of this simple Dharma truth. Thinking that your teacher is actually ENLIGHTENED is just a massive and tragic Dharma mistake that produces these sorts of outcomes over and over again.If you want to refer to Nagarjuna’s 10 Bodhisattva Stages, a sentient being doesn’t even reach the point of NON-RETROGRESSION until he or she has reached the eighth of the ten stages. Nagarjuna described himself as having reached the first of the ten stages…so just how far along do you think you or any of your teachers (living or dead) actually have gotten to, anyway?[/list]