Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. – 2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:16-17‬ ‭

Don’t give up now, your life has barely just begun. These few short years are but a drop in the bucket of eternity. Our momentary troubles are refining in us real gold – gold of infinite worth that we will only truly see in eternity.

It’s not in vain, none of this is in vain. Yield, surrender, keep trusting, keep going. Find yourself, again and again at the feet of Jesus. It is the only way to live. It is the only true life there is.

One day with unveiled eyes we will see all we have built through the foundations of meekness and trust. We will enter into His presence with our heads held high, absolutely victorious in love. We will, with exceeding joy, receive the great reward of our faith – the delight of Jesus Himself. This is the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. This is where all of this is going.

We must, with diligence, set our eyes on this vision over and over again. Eternity has been written on our hearts for this very reason. To show us where we are going, that we may not lose heart.

“These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country.

Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.” // Hebrews‬ ‭11:13-16‬ ‭

Only when we understand how it will end will we know how we must live in the now. God placed eternity in the hearts of men for this very reason. (Ecc 3:11) This vapor called life has to be anchored in what is transcendent and of eternal continuity if it is to have any meaning – otherwise we are but mere wandering fools to be pitied.

Everything else is like chaff – it will all burn away to dust before the fire of His eyes. I can’t even begin to tell you how it is my biggest fear to live a life that counts for nothing. To have built my life upon all these things that seemed so great in the eyes of men, only to stand before Him on that day and have it all fall out from under me.

I swear, with everything I have within me, that I will live and posture my life in such a way that when I finally enter into His presence, it will not be with shame – but with my head held high, strong and absolutely victorious in love.

Seasons come and seasons go, and I have many dreams to fight for, but this – this will always be the biggest dream of my heart.

I will receive the reward of my faith.

“… to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.” /// Jude‬ ‭1:24-25‬

Who are we, as mere man, to determine right from wrong? Our standards and our self perception are foolishness in the sight of God. And it is when we think we know better and elevate ourselves above the wisdom of God that pride has entered into our hearts. The foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom. His ways are higher than what we can fathom. It is utter ignorance and foolishness to declare that we know a better way than what God has provided for us through Christ Jesus. His word is final & all will be brought before His burning eyes one day. Far be it from me to scorn His ways and follow my own waywardness – only to regret it on that day when I stand before His throne.

At the end of the day, He is God and I am not. He is Creator and I am the dust formed by His hands. And it all boils down to whether we understand this one simple thing or, in pride, choose to rebel against it.

As for me I will yield to my God in humility & worship Him in the reverence He is due.

“When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭73:21-28‬ ‭

I look around me and I see all these people chasing the wind. They run around in circles, preening and bickering. They climb over each other to the top of it all, and wonder why they still feel so empty on the inside. They build their lives upon passing sands, and they wonder why it all shifts and collapses at a mere puff of the wind. So frantic. So restless. So meaningless.

But as for me, I will choose the better part. What does it matter if I gain the whole world and lose my soul? I will have enough wisdom to build my life around what matters in the light of eternity.

What if destiny isn’t a place I reach in ministry, but the journey towards the fullness of oneness with my Jesus? The fullness of my heart in love, devotion, intimacy and obedience?

Is there any other way to life? Certainly not. All else is but a shadow to this one singular pursuit.

My heart strays often to my other lovers. Sometimes they are all I can see, and they become my reality.

But deep down inside, I long for One above all. How can I not? He is who I was made for, and in Him I come alive the most.

I know that this life will be one where my “yes” to the Lord will be tested over and over again. There are moments when my love for Jesus feels like a fiery flame that cannot be quenched. At other times, and this happens more than I dare to confess, my love feels so weak. I am overwhelmed by the world and I feel so incapable of holding firm to the resolves that I make during moments of heightened passion. If not for the Divine Grace that holds on to me I would have given up and fallen away a long long time ago.

Yet, it is worth declaring that through these highs and lows that I swing back and forth from, my heart for Him remains true. My love for Him has always, always been real, even in the moments when I am the weakest. I am not ashamed to say so because there is no lie in my words.

And so over and over again I will come in humility and sing, even when my heart is so broken and all I can offer is the small hidden part of it that has pledged everlasting love to Him.

This is the pilgrimage of my heart and the destiny of my life. This journey is one that I will give myself to for the rest my days, no matter how many times I break and fall. I know that one day it will be fulfilled in all entirety when I see – face to face – my Lord shining before me in all Glory, Beauty and Light.

“All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.”

“For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.”

I’ve never been good at waiting. When I know something, I want it. When I see treasure of great worth and beauty (even more so, treasure I know is promised for me!) everything in me yearns to the point of tears. There have been times when I feel like I will break from longing.

The heartache of waiting is real. But so is the beauty of hope. These two emotions mingle together into a strange unsettling sigh.

But He is worth it. He is worth the heartache of waiting. He is worth the tears and the longing. Every twist of my heart brings me closer to a life lived beside the One I love.

“…not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.. they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:13-14, 16‬ ‭