Pain, Pain – Go Away!

April 22, 2004

I had my painful left knee injected with cortisone yesterday because I could barely walk. I have been trying to climb more flights of stairs at work to get in shape for ascending the Great Wall in China, but it has only made my knee worse. I do wish I never would have tried to learn how to downhill ski nine years ago. A bad fall is what started all the arthritis in my knee. It’s difficult to make my walking rounds at work in the hospital because of the pain.

April 24, 2004

“He (God) gives power to the faint; and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:29-31

I saw the Physical Therapist (PT) yesterday and he thinks I have floating pieces of cartilage in my knee again because of the catching and buckling when I walk. The orthopedic Physician’s Assistant (PA) read me the surgeon’s operative report from 1996 who said I have a major defect beneath my patella (knee cap) and exposed bone. My xrays this week showed arthritis behind the patella and a narrowing of the space, so I’m probably looking at a total knee replacement in the near future. The Lord knows. The PT gave me an electrical stimulation machine to use for the pain four times daily over the weekend. I apply electrodes on either side of my knee and then the small machine sends low dose electrical signals through my knee to block the pain.

May 3, 2004

“I will go before you and make the rough places smooth… and I will give you treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places in order that you may know that it is I, the Lord God of Israel, who calls you by your name.” Isaiah 45:2-3

So much has happened in the past week. SARS (severe acute respiratory syndrome) has reoccurred in Beijing leading to one person’s death, eight confirmed cases, and 1000 people exposed. I am scheduled to visit friends in Beijing on May 19. I have committed the situation to the Lord and have asked Him to open or close the door for me to go. It is so wonderful to be still and know that God is in control.

June 5, 2004

I had an interesting trip to China and enjoyed seeing the Forbidden City, Summer Palace, and climbing an unrestored part of the Great Wall with my friends. I thank the Lord for the health He gave me and for protecting me from SARS, but all the walking took a toll on my knee.

I just fit in the Circle Door at the Summer palaceI had fun dressing up as Empress Pam at the Summer Palace.Staying cool Chinese style as I toured the massive Forbidden City.

July 2, 2004

My left knee started catching and buckling again last week, so my boss, Dr. S., was able to call the orthopedic surgeon and get me an appointment this week. Dr. M., the surgeon, is a friendly personable guy. He said, “I really like you, but I hate your knee.” He looked at my xrays and photos from my last arthroscopy two years ago and said I was already down to the bone in several places with severe arthritis. He informed me that a knee replacement lasts 17-20 years under the best conditions and doesn’t work well if I would need a second knee replacement on the same knee. I’m only 49 years old, so I sure hope the Lord comes soon! I also am very high risk for synovitis (painful inflammation of the joint). I will have my third arthroscopy on July 23 to clean out my knee.

August 1, 2004

I have had a rough recovery from my arthroscopy with weakness and dizziness. I saw Dr. M. for followup and he said my knee looks like one from a 90 year old woman and that it is not happy. He suggested that I need to think about getting a desk job, take another week off from work, and then return only four hours per day. The next step is a total knee replacement, but he can’t predict if or how long the arthroscopy will give me any pain relief. This news shocked me, but I’m thankful that my soul is happy in Jesus even though my knee isn’t.

“Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no food; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls; Yet will I rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and He will make me walk upon mine high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19

God uses change so we can use our spiritual muscles that we have never used before.

Reflection

And so God gave me lessons once more in the school of pain. Little did I know that I would remain in this classroom for many more months. God is so kind to hide the future from us so that we may learn to abide in Him and trust Him just for today. Next post I will continue telling you about my painful journey.

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Published by Pamela, APRN

I am a Christian nurse with four decades of experience. I desire to encourage other Christian nurses to keep "Looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith!" Hebrews 12:2
View all posts by Pamela, APRN