True Blood Season Premiere – She’s Not There – Recap

True Blood is back! In a major way. I had been avoiding spoilers and trying not to watch all the sneak peek clips so I was fairly happy when we didn’t spend too much time in Fairy Land. Which is where Sookie ended up after last season’s cliffhanger. She’s in the Willy Wonka of fairy lands, complete with glowing magical light-fruit. Her Fairy Godmother is guiding her around and Sookie discovers her Grandfather is there. Only he claims he’s been there a few hours, this is where he’s been missing for the past 20 years. Sookie grabs him and tries to escape when the rest of the Fairies turn bad and bird like, somewhat like a Siren would in old literature. They escape through a portal with the help of Charlie’s brother on LOST and land in the graveyard. It’s not long before Sookie’s Grandfather rapidly ages and turns to dust in front of her. Geez. Is she just not allowed to have relatives? What the hell?Sookie returns to her home to see a group of contractors redoing it. She walks in confused when they threaten to call the police. The cop shows up and it’s Jason. And he has a beard! Get ready for this WTF moment: Sookie has been gone for a YEAR. Those ten minutes in Fairy Land just cost her a year of her life. And boy have things changed. Jason sold her house and Lafayette has a mohawk. I think the mohawk is the more tragic of the two to be honest. Jason is a full fledged cop now and has been heading a search party for Sookie for the past year. They all thought Bill had killed her. Andy is more violent than usual because he’s hooked on V and going through withdrawal. To save Sookie from questioning, Bill tells everyone that she was doing something secret for him and she agrees to go along with the lie.

Lafayette and his mohawk are being pressured into joining a witch covent by Jesus. LOL What an odd sentence that was. Aunt Petunia is the head of said covent and spends her time talking to the dead, freaking out Lafayette and bringing birds back to life. Hey, at least she’s finally a witch. Arlene has had her evil baby and man is that thing creepy. I swear its eyes are black. I feel that this baby ripping the heads of Barbie dolls is preventing Arlene from loving it. But good news! Arlene and Terry got married! Yay! Her eyes were looking gorgeous this episode.

Tara, tara, tara. I was hoping she would get a happier storyline this season after the past 2. Since taking off in the season finale, Tara has become a cage fighter in New Orleans and only keeps in touch with those she left behind by postcard. Oh and she’s a lesbian now apparently. Huge disappointment. When I heard someone was going gay this season I was hoping it was Jason. I’m not sure why. Or Sam. Speaking of Sam, he’s taking anger management with a group of shapeshifters to get over shooting Tommy. They deal with their problems with booze. TOTALLY healthy. Tommy isn’t dead by the way. His leg is just messed up. And his hair is overly moused and he’s living with Hoyt’s mother. What the hell? How did that happen? We don’t get much of an explanation but Tommy now looks like he belongs in Pleasantville.

Speaking of Hoyt, things aren’t going smoothly with him and Jessica. The first year is the hardest kids! They fight over Jessica not being much of a housewife if you will. Refusing to cook actual food for Hoyt when he allows her to feed off him. Jessica has quite the roaming eye this episode. I sense she will be cheating him Hoyt very, very soon. Jason is still taking care of the Meth village and they repay him by locking him in a freezer. Not sure where that’s going but it doesn’t look good. I hope Crystal never comes back. I can’t stand her character.

The Vampires have their work cut out for them. Russell’s little stunt on the news set back their PR about 1000 years. The Vampires are in need of some massive damage control. Eric is the one who bought Sookie’s house to make her “his” (creepy) and Bill is the new Vampire King. What happened to the Queen? Bill has become somewhat of a politician now. He’s even cutting ribbons at county ceremonies. I wonder how long it’ll take before he and Sookie are back together.

All in all I thought this was a pretty good season premiere. I have to say I think the writers are Harry Potter fans. Hiring the actress who plays Aunt Petunia was cool enough but giving her a bird named Minerva and adding another girl named Luna? Awesome sauce.