Sorry ladies, I am too charming and good-looking to go through the effort of some online courtship.

However, if you:

Are Attractive (not "internet attractive").Are Independently Wealthy.Have a sense of humor so blue it is black.And enjoy being around a curmudgeon in public who everyone thinks is an . . ., but at home you know I cater to those greatest in need (you might a have the occasional schizophrenic, or prostitute, or drug addict as a house guest) and have the affection and innocence of a child.

I don't like walks on the beach. I don't get amped about the meeting of water and sand.

I'll weep during chick flick in public.I can cripple pretty much anyone who could cause you harm.

Blokes...Imagine you have a gf and your out on a date with her, some other girl walks by with some 'obvios attractive features' (haha... i don't want to get in trouble) and your gf catches you looking. What do you say to your gf because she is well vexed at you and running her mouth.

Pick the one closest to what youd say

(a) "sorry"

(b) "sorry, but...."

(c) "I was looking just to make sure i got the best deal and i did"

(d) "Look gf, we live in a world full of "attractive features" and i am a hetro male and unless i am mistaken i am not dead, so as much as i try not to look, there will be times when i might.... so get over yourself and let me deal with it my way and just trust me and stop judging me and get on with dealing with your own self....ie: insecurity!!!"

(e) Lie - "I wasn't looking, you just looked up at the moment my eyes was looking in that general direction."

Blokes...Imagine you have a gf and your out on a date with her, some other girl walks by with some 'obvios attractive features' (haha... i don't want to get in trouble) and your gf catches you looking. What do you say to your gf because she is well vexed at you and running her mouth.

What if my girlfriend was not only not mad at me, but actually was looking at the girl before I was, enjoyed looking at her more, and then was looking long after I had looked away? Should I be mad?

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"as [you've] informed us that respect chills love, it is natural to conclude that all your pretty flights arise from your pampered sensibility; and that, vain of this fancied preeminence of organs, you foster every emotion till the fumes, mounting to your brain, dispel the sober suggestions of reason. It is not in this view surprising that when you should argue you become impassioned, and that reflection inflames your imagination instead of enlightening your understanding." - Mary Wollstonecraft

I think you need to reconsider this line because most women do NOT want to share their closets.

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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.--"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18--I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

The only romantic action I have had recently was when the fifteen year old work experience girl developed a crush on me and posted about it on facebook.

Kill me now.

At one point, a kindergartner (I used to volunteer at an after-school program), told me that he was madly in love with me, brought flowers, and proposed to me. I was single, very single at the time. I was like, "Can you please go out there and tell men about how awesome I am? Thanks."

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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.--"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18--I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

22 and single for just over a year now. Dated a girl on-and-off for seven years. I'm glad to say I have friends to spend time with, and work/hobbies to busy myself, but...still lonely sometimes. I've always wanted to be a good husband/father. I'd say it's in the top three, easy, of life goals to accomplish. Long-distance relationship is how my last relationship went, but, the post about the Ukrainian niece, you know the year-old post up there, did catch my eye for a second, lol.

Haha, same. I'm 23 and single and have never had a girlfriend, not even before I became Orthodox.

Wow and I thought I was the only one! I'm 25, and never really did the whole "dating" scene.. -- struggled with self esteem issues a lot, but even now that I'm over that, I'm still just not interested. I sort of feel like because everybody else around me is dating, getting married, or having kids -- I must be the oddball for not doing the same. I don't really care to get to know most women beyond anything other than just being a friend.. -- it would be nice to have a female companion of sorts, but at the same time.. I wonder if something like that is really for me. Or, maybe I should just become a priest.. and then maybe a monk..

I myself don't want to remain single. I would really like to meet a girl and get married and the whole thing but a) I'm not and have never been good with girls and b) would only be interested in somebody who is Orthodox, which seems to pretty tough to find these days. But, I figure that if God intends for me to get married then the girl is out there, I just have to pray and wait for Him to get us together.

No fear. After I return from carousing with about 20 women I have never met (watching the Women's World Cup Final with a University Women's soccer team), it looks like I am going to have to help my fellow man with a tips and advice thread about meeting women and more importantly not walking around in a constant state of frustration and lack of confidence.

EDIT: If you are chronically alone, please don't use the God's plan card.

No fear. After I return from carousing with about 20 women I have never met (watching the Women's World Cup Final with a University Women's soccer team), it looks like I am going to have to help my fellow man with a tips and advice thread about meeting women and more importantly not walking around in a constant state of frustration and lack of confidence.

What do you mean? I have profiles on several online dating sites! What more can be done?

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"as [you've] informed us that respect chills love, it is natural to conclude that all your pretty flights arise from your pampered sensibility; and that, vain of this fancied preeminence of organs, you foster every emotion till the fumes, mounting to your brain, dispel the sober suggestions of reason. It is not in this view surprising that when you should argue you become impassioned, and that reflection inflames your imagination instead of enlightening your understanding." - Mary Wollstonecraft

I think you need to reconsider this line because most women do NOT want to share their closets.

I put out so much ammo to be insulted with . . . You could have gone with the obvious "closet" double entendre to suggest a slight confusion about my sexuality.

But that would have been sooooo expected.

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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.--"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18--I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

Some of us like being single. I like it a lot. I used to think about becoming a monk, but the monasteries I have contacted have told me that really aren't eager to accept candidates over 40. I seem to baffle some people at work, who think everyone must be married to be normal and happy. I'd rather be single and be content with it than be stuck in a bad marriage or relationship.

22 and single for just over a year now. Dated a girl on-and-off for seven years. I'm glad to say I have friends to spend time with, and work/hobbies to busy myself, but...still lonely sometimes. I've always wanted to be a good husband/father. I'd say it's in the top three, easy, of life goals to accomplish. Long-distance relationship is how my last relationship went, but, the post about the Ukrainian niece, you know the year-old post up there, did catch my eye for a second, lol.

Haha, same. I'm 23 and single and have never had a girlfriend, not even before I became Orthodox.

Wow and I thought I was the only one! I'm 25, and never really did the whole "dating" scene.. -- struggled with self esteem issues a lot, but even now that I'm over that, I'm still just not interested. I sort of feel like because everybody else around me is dating, getting married, or having kids -- I must be the oddball for not doing the same. I don't really care to get to know most women beyond anything other than just being a friend.. -- it would be nice to have a female companion of sorts, but at the same time.. I wonder if something like that is really for me. Or, maybe I should just become a priest.. and then maybe a monk..

I'm 23 and have never dated either. In high school I had several friends who were female, but I never had a girlfriend. Since graduating high school, I have sort of become more introverted. I notice that I am not really meeting new people that much, but mostly just hanging around with the same old friends that I made in high school (which is fine, but it doesn't help the girlfriend situation). I'm somewhat torn on how I feel about being single. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a girlfriend and eventually a wife, but other times I observe people who are married (such as some friends of mine who are a married couple) and see the way they gripe and bicker at each other constantly and it makes me feel like maybe I'm not missing much.

Plus I have a disability and that complicates things because I realize that, if I did date, I would be bringing a lot of baggage to a relationship as a result of that. Obviously, having me as a boyfriend or husband would be significantly different than having an able-bodied guy. I think that is a huge reason why it is hard for me to try. That and the fact that it would be hard for me to gauge whether a girl is dating me because she really likes me or if it's just because she pities me and feels stuck and unable to say no.

Blokes...Imagine you have a gf and your out on a date with her, some other girl walks by with some 'obvios attractive features' (haha... i don't want to get in trouble) and your gf catches you looking. What do you say to your gf because she is well vexed at you and running her mouth.

Pick the one closest to what youd say

(a) "sorry"

(b) "sorry, but...."

(c) "I was looking just to make sure i got the best deal and i did"

(d) "Look gf, we live in a world full of "attractive features" and i am a hetro male and unless i am mistaken i am not dead, so as much as i try not to look, there will be times when i might.... so get over yourself and let me deal with it my way and just trust me and stop judging me and get on with dealing with your own self....ie: insecurity!!!"

(e) Lie - "I wasn't looking, you just looked up at the moment my eyes was looking in that general direction."

I always find myself now scoping out the women and trying to guess which one was going to catch his eye (hello, Insecurity 101). He now thinks that I'm looking at them for different reasons.

Logged

She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.--"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18--I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

When I moved to an Orthodox country, I thought all my dating problems would be solved. Unfortunately, though there is an abundance of young single female devout Orthodox, in my experience they go rather too far to the opposite extreme. You meet a girl and then are aghast to find that she believes the bureaucrat hassle du jour is the Mark of the Beast, that our bishop can't be trusted and some rebellious priest from an obscure parish overrules him, and that by having friends from non-Orthodox ethnicities (the Hungarian and German minorities here are typically Catholic or Protestant) I am betraying Orthodoxy.

Blokes...Imagine you have a gf and your out on a date with her, some other girl walks by with some 'obvios attractive features' (haha... i don't want to get in trouble) and your gf catches you looking. What do you say to your gf because she is well vexed at you and running her mouth.

Pick the one closest to what youd say

(a) "sorry"

(b) "sorry, but...."

(c) "I was looking just to make sure i got the best deal and i did"

(d) "Look gf, we live in a world full of "attractive features" and i am a hetro male and unless i am mistaken i am not dead, so as much as i try not to look, there will be times when i might.... so get over yourself and let me deal with it my way and just trust me and stop judging me and get on with dealing with your own self....ie: insecurity!!!"

(e) Lie - "I wasn't looking, you just looked up at the moment my eyes was looking in that general direction."

Ok when are the ladies going to understand that E is a real occurrence!? We're not lying. When something in your field of vision moves you focus on it. Sometimes that's another lady, sometimes it isn't anything. Same situation when you're texting/get a text. We don't care who it is or what you're saying, it just catches the eye. Whew, glad I got that off my chest; its only been 2 years in the making.

I'd be confident too if I had the wit and verbosity of Mr.orthonorm. I have no trouble believing he's a social butterfly outside of this site. Somethings just can't be learned

« Last Edit: July 17, 2011, 03:09:28 PM by CBGardner »

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Authentic zeal is not directed towards anything but union in Christ, or against anything but our own fallenness.

Blokes...Imagine you have a gf and your out on a date with her, some other girl walks by with some 'obvios attractive features' (haha... i don't want to get in trouble) and your gf catches you looking. What do you say to your gf because she is well vexed at you and running her mouth.

What if my girlfriend was not only not mad at me, but actually was looking at the girl before I was, enjoyed looking at her more, and then was looking long after I had looked away? Should I be mad?

haha.... alot of blokes would be thinking wa hay!! But you have to stay inside of your religion

I always find myself now scoping out the women and trying to guess which one was going to catch his eye (hello, Insecurity 101). He now thinks that I'm looking at them for different reasons.

That don't seem like insecurity to me, it seems like realistic and openess. Making something less of a thing by being open about it or having a laugh about it takes the pressure off don't you think it does??

I used to think about becoming a monk, but the monasteries I have contacted have told me that really aren't eager to accept candidates over 40.

That's something that worries me. Right now, I'm praying that God will help me discern His will. Going into a monastery is a real possibility but I'll be in my mid-30s before that's a real option. I'm worried about how well that'll go. Not to mention unlearning the whole "I can do whatever I want because I'm a single guy out in the world" mentality. But, I guess if it's God's will, a door will be open and I'll just have to be smart enough to take it.

I always find myself now scoping out the women and trying to guess which one was going to catch his eye (hello, Insecurity 101). He now thinks that I'm looking at them for different reasons.

That don't seem like insecurity to me, it seems like realistic and openess. Making something less of a thing by being open about it or having a laugh about it takes the pressure off don't you think it does??

Yeah, we actually do joke about it now. (We've had some issues on the past in both sides, but have dealt with them accordingly...not easy, BTW, not easy at all.) I am a pretty insecure person, though, especially when it comes to my looks. As a former anorexic who was diagnosed with a chronic illness and gained weight after...not secure at all.

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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.--"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18--I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

I always find myself now scoping out the women and trying to guess which one was going to catch his eye (hello, Insecurity 101). He now thinks that I'm looking at them for different reasons.

That don't seem like insecurity to me, it seems like realistic and openess. Making something less of a thing by being open about it or having a laugh about it takes the pressure off don't you think it does??

Yeah, we actually do joke about it now. (We've had some issues on the past in both sides, but have dealt with them accordingly...not easy, BTW, not easy at all.) I am a pretty insecure person, though, especially when it comes to my looks. As a former anorexic who was diagnosed with a chronic illness and gained weight after...not secure at all.

blimey thats rough. you have obviously worked thru a tonne of stuff then and have got strength and determination as a person which isn't easy, i know because i had to do similer graft as well. But i hope you are proud (in a good way) of who you are because i am of me and i think people should be when they have been through bumps and there spirit inside them isn't broken. I always tell myself that noone is going to tell me how i feel about myself...except ME haha....and so nothing can ever be taken from me then. You sound like a amazing woman IsmiLiora

The only romantic action I have had recently was when the fifteen year old work experience girl developed a crush on me and posted about it on facebook.

Kill me now.

At one point, a kindergartner (I used to volunteer at an after-school program), told me that he was madly in love with me, brought flowers, and proposed to me. I was single, very single at the time. I was like, "Can you please go out there and tell men about how awesome I am? Thanks."

lol!

Once, after mission vespers, my priest's family kindly took me out to dinner. His 4 year old daughter asked me to be her boyfriend, and I didn't have the heart to say no

single , soon to be 21. Yes, I had the infamous conversion break up about a year and a half ago. Yes, young single Orthodox women exist. I find it funny how many Orthodox guys seem to think we're an endangered species...I sure haven't had any make any attempts though that could be because most of the guys at my church are already out of college.

single , soon to be 21. Yes, I had the infamous conversion break up about a year and a half ago. Yes, young single Orthodox women exist. I find it funny how many Orthodox guys seem to think we're an endangered species...I sure haven't had any make any attempts though that could be because most of the guys at my church are already out of college.

That's why they seem like they are an endangered species. At my church one hasn't graduated high school and the other graduated college about when I graduated high school...not that I let that stop me from making the attempt on the older of the two! The rest are married.

Oh well, there are plenty of heretics out there, and if you want to meet someone who actually has a personality there are plenty of agnostics!

Single hyperdox male, 16, from California. Extremely bigoted in his views that Protestantism is the source of all evil in the world. Currently unemployed living with parents in apartment, struggles with violent outbursts of Donald Duck-like rage from time to time. I'd say I'm a catch.

Wow...I am actually surprised by the number of 23 year olders hehehe! I too am single, 28 year old female, and I TOO have learnt my lesson to never ever date a non-orthodox . This year is the first time I've been single in the past 8 years, but I must say, as much as I HATE it, I definitely am learning a lot about myself and what I want.

Bytania

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Do not want things to turn out as they seem best to you, but as God pleases. Then you will be free from confusion, and thankful in prayer.~The Desert Fathers

Single hyperdox male, 16, from California. Extremely bigoted in his views that Protestantism is the source of all evil in the world. Currently unemployed living with parents in apartment, struggles with violent outbursts of Donald Duck-like rage from time to time. I'd say I'm a catch.

Serious or not but I seriously LOL'd

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“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

"as [you've] informed us that respect chills love, it is natural to conclude that all your pretty flights arise from your pampered sensibility; and that, vain of this fancied preeminence of organs, you foster every emotion till the fumes, mounting to your brain, dispel the sober suggestions of reason. It is not in this view surprising that when you should argue you become impassioned, and that reflection inflames your imagination instead of enlightening your understanding." - Mary Wollstonecraft

I suppose I should post in this thread while I still can, since I'll be 30 in about a month.

Me: 29, very new to Orthodoxy (baptized in May), living in the desert paradise of Albuquerque NM for the next year or so while I write up a dissertation on Coptic language reform and related issues. Already learned and mostly forgot Russian. Willing to remember it again, though chances are it's less popular with Armenian women than it used to be, and I won't go EO for love. Also speak Spanish, and can probably manage enough Arabic on a good day to get into a hilarious misunderstanding-based fight with the wait staff at the local Middle Eastern restaurant. I like to cook and enjoy books on Church history and hagiographies, documentaries and pretentious foreign films.

I'm still single, so if any of you ladies are looking for an aging, balding, spiritually-confused, extremely poor student, I'm available!

I'm no longer available, sorry to break it to you girls!

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"as [you've] informed us that respect chills love, it is natural to conclude that all your pretty flights arise from your pampered sensibility; and that, vain of this fancied preeminence of organs, you foster every emotion till the fumes, mounting to your brain, dispel the sober suggestions of reason. It is not in this view surprising that when you should argue you become impassioned, and that reflection inflames your imagination instead of enlightening your understanding." - Mary Wollstonecraft

I suppose I should post in this thread while I still can, since I'll be 30 in about a month.

Me: 29, very new to Orthodoxy (baptized in May), living in the desert paradise of Albuquerque NM for the next year or so while I write up a dissertation on Coptic language reform and related issues. Already learned and mostly forgot Russian. Willing to remember it again, though chances are it's less popular with Armenian women* than it used to be, and I won't go EO for love. Also speak Spanish, and can probably manage enough Arabic on a good day to get into a hilarious misunderstanding-based fight with the wait staff at the local Middle Eastern restaurant. I like to cook and enjoy books on Church history and hagiographies, documentaries and pretentious foreign films.