Tag Archives: B-Side Couture

Ladies and gents…this started a while ago, a long while ago to be exact. It was around the time of the Shoe Expo back in July and I had just been turned on to a hair from Gritty Kitty by one Iustinian Tomsen. In my shopping for the aforementioned hair I came across another hair at Gritty Kitty that I just could not pass. After promptly slapping the new wig up top my head it hit me. I’m going to toss together a John McEnroe/80s tennis pro look. Thus, I went to the Shoe Expo dressed up in my John McEnroe outfit. I’ve thought about doing the John McEnroe look before, but my problem was that I didn’t have the items to do it. The original John McEnroe look had mini boxers from a, now long gone, discount Naughty Designs store and the socks came from Last Call’s “Right Said” outfit. Well, not too long before I ventured into the RL fashion arena I got a review package from one Dice Beattie of “Roll the Dice”. He gave me some gym shorts and it reignited my McEnroe outfit like you wouldn’t believe. The Australian Open (it’s one of the four tournaments in the “grand slam” of tennis) finishes up tomorrow with Roger Federer vs. Rafa Nadal and I just couldn’t let that pass before I got into this. Without further ado, I give you the McEnroe story…

Eying up his opponent’s position on the court he mentally spins the wheel that holds his arsenal of serves and stops it like a well informed game of Russian roulette. He bounces the tennis ball up to his hands twice before it releases off of his fingertips up toward the sunny sky. Uncorking like a gun’s hammer he sends the ball screaming off the top of the net and out with judges calling out "LET!" and "FAULT!" He lets out a half smile as if he knew that ball was going to rub the outside service line clear off of the court. The Russian roulette begins again, but this time lands in a much safer spot as this is the second serve for match point. Two bounces and the ball is back up into the air. He slams through the ball with a much lighter top spin than the first serve to ensure it makes it over the net clean. Using the momentum of the serve he takes a couple of steps into the court before his eyes widen as his opponent sets up his body to slide in a drop shot toward the center of the court hoping to catch him off guard. With a flick of the wrist the ball lofts with the back spin and he begins to approach the net to make sure he sets himself up in excellent position after his next shot. He slightly puts too much on his returning drop shot and leaves his opponent with the advantage he was after. A light mental cursing about his short game aside, his opponent lobs a shot over his head to the back corner. Thankfully quickness needs no practice and he runs down the lob as it bounces quite high.

Reaching back to release the hammer again, he follows through with all of his force and a light grunt with all of the raw force that he threw into that ball. The yellow fuzz holds on for dear life as it flies down the line from the forehand, and his surprised opponent reels to get to the corner. Fortunately, his opponent left his quickness at home today because he barely gets to the ball and flails his arm out laying up a bunny for him to simply put away and finish this match. Jumping up into the air to finish this match in style, the ball sails a little wider than he would have liked but it’s definitely going to stay in. As it hits he turns to the crowd and the cyclops (line judge) yells, “OUT!” He turns with fury in his eyes and screams at the umpire, “THAT WAS IN! ARE YOUR JUDGES FREAKING BLIND!? HOW COULD THEY NOT SEE THAT WAS IN!?” In a childish fit he throws his racket clear across the court and then punts the bended frame back over toward his bag. Reaching into his bag, he picks out another racket and continues on his quest to finish his opponent. He thinks to himself, “If you thought the first serve was fast, just wait until I unleash the rage into this serve….”