Look, I’m not here to hate on watching porn during sex. I’ve done it. I’m sure some of you reading this have. But who would want to have sex watching the Kardashian/Ray J sex tape? That’s like the worst porn — if it can even be called that — ever. EVER. There’s little to nothing sexy about it, and I felt that way before Kim Kardashian became reprehensible in my eyes.

Secondly, how could anyone watch Kim Kardashian have sex and then want to date her? As anyone who’s ever watched that sex tape knows, she’s a HORRIBLE lay. I know cold fruit pies that can pleasure a penis better than she does. Dude, Kanye, what the hell is wrong with you?