This past Sunday, I preached a message that God had laid on my heart about the upcoming Presidential Election. My prayer is that we as Christians would respond to this election and any other with the Hope that only God can give through Jesus Christ.

As Christians, our permanent residence is in Heaven. Until we get there, we must live here in a way that shows others our destination.

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The CMBA Challenge for October included Words of Wisdom from different sources each week…Family, Bible, Friends, & Books or Blogs.

This week being Books or Blogs has been difficult for me to decide which book I wanted to reference.I have read so many books on marriage over the years and each one has merit and has added value to my marriage.After what seemed to be a long time of consideration, I have chosen a book that I have not ever seen in a book store.I had the privilege of hearing the author speak at an AACC World Conference several years ago and I have been recommending the book ever since.The book is Sacred Sex by Tim Gardner.He explains in the introduction of the book, “If you’re looking for a new erogenous zone, a medical breakthrough for prolonging orgasm, or a way to have fabulous sex every time the notion crosses your mind, you have the wrong book.”There are many books that help with some of those topics.The Generous Husband references one of those books in his blog Monday.

I believe the purpose of Sacred Sex is found in this paragraph:“God designed marital sex to be an encounter with the divine. Sexual intimacy, with all of its overwhelming emotions and heart-pounding sensations, was never intended to be experienced solely in the emotional and physical realms. Rather, it is to be a spiritual, even mystical, experience in which two bodies become one. God is present in a very real way every time this happens.”

Too many times, we bring all of our unholy experiences and beliefs about sex into our marriage. Satan has tricked us in believing his lies about the sexual relationship. We act on those lies. Therefore, we have an extremely difficult time removing that baggage from our minds and allowing God to transform us into the Garden experience…”naked and unashamed.”

To begin moving toward the intention God had for the sexual relationship between a husband and wife, we need to…

Ask God to forgive us of our sexual sins in the past.Be honest with God about your past.He knows everything already.He is asking you to agree with Him that any sexual experience outside of marriage was a sin.He wants to cleanse you from that unrighteousness and make you whole.Confession is a must!

Forgive yourself for your sexual past.Included in us forgiving ourselves is receiving God’s forgiveness.Too many times we allow our sin and our past to define us as people.God wants to define us through Christ and His righteousness, not our unrighteousness.Forgiving yourself also means that you release the guilt of your past.Again, seek to see yourself as God sees you.

Confess to your spouse.Yes, I believe that you need to share with your spouse about your sexual experience before marriage.No, I do not believe you need to share all the “gory” details.I am referring to being honest and not hiding anything.

Seek forgiveness from your spouse for any inappropriate sexual experiences before marriage between the two of you.Even if you are engaged to be married, sex before marriage is wrong.Confess this to God and to each other.Forgive each other and receive God’s forgiveness.

Pray about your sexual lives together.Realize that God intends your sexual union to be holy.He makes it holy.Invite Him into your bedroom.You invite Him into other aspects of your marriage, why not the sexual union?I know that this sounds weird and maybe even perverted.I assure you that God will be pleased that you are wanting your physical intimacy to be pleasing to Him as well as to each other.

Following these five steps will enhance your sexual relationship and deepen your intimacy throughout your marriage .What book or blogs have you read that have brought value to your marriage?

Bradley D. Watson, BCBTDirected Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Develop The Life and Marriage You Desire

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“Man is not an island.”This quotation is actually from John Donne in 1624.It is a part of Meditation XVII which also says “…for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”The meaning of the quote “Man is not an island” is that man does not thrive on his own; he needs relationships and community in order to reach his total potential.Donne was a Christian author even though several religions have adopted this thought.The relationship that is needed the most is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

The second most important relationship is with a wife.I believe this principle is taught in Genesis 2.Adam was created and had a perfect relationship with God.He had the opportunity to walk and talk with God daily.God trusted Adam to name the animals in the garden and to take care of the plants as well as the animals.As God is reviewing all that is happening in the Garden of Eden, He states that “it is not good than Man is alone.”Now Adam was sinless at this time.He had complete freedom to do his job of keeping the Garden.He had God’s full attention at all times.Yet, God said something was “not good.”Man was alone!!God then created Eve to be Adam’s wife and God said that it was very good.This story tells me that these two relationships are important to the well being of Man.I do believe that the relationship with God through Christ is the most important of all relationships.But second only to this relationship is marriage.Since these two relationships are foundational to Man, then they should intermingle.Yes, you can be a Christian and be single.Yes, you can be married and not be a Christian.But I believe if you want the most fulfilling marriage possible, then your relationship with God must impact your marriage.

How do we get to this place in our marriage?I would like to share with you three keys that will help God be the center of your marriage.

Pray Together.Praying together connects our innermost thoughts and emotions at the deepest places of our souls.Prayer is communication with God, The Father.We not only talk to Him, but we also listen to Him.He chooses our prayer lives to speak to our souls.We must be willing to listen as well as speak to God.Praying with your spouse brings him/her into your spirit person.The connection is “heavenly.”God speaks to you together which confirms your relationship.

Study the Bible Together.Our spiritual growth is encouraged and nurtured through Bible Study.Understanding the Word of God is important to knowing the Person of God as well as His purpose for our lives.Studying together helps us develop spiritually together.I have met with many couples where one spouse studies the Bible and has a deeper relationship with God than the other spouse.When this happens, there is a disconnect that leads to discontentment within the marriage.We want our relationship to be growing together, not separately.Many Christian counselors have described marriage as an isosceles triangle which means 3 equal angles and 3 equal sides.The closer you get to God, the closer you get together.

Serve God Together.As a couple, we need to serve God together.Some of the most meaningful events I have been a part of are the ones in which my wife was also a part.As a minister, that has not always been the case.I have had the opportunity to go to camps or on mission trips while my wife stayed home with our children or to go to work.Those events were OK, but I’m not sure any of them were life changing.Now the events that we were able to participate together in have been life changing.I know that I feel complete when she is with me for ministry.

These three keys to connect spiritually will open the doors to the deepest intimacy that you can ever experience.Our spiritual intimacy leads to better emotional intimacy which leads to better relational intimacy which leads to better physical intimacy.Every couple that wants to have a fulfilled marriage is seeking more intimacy.Our spiritual connection as a couple will ensure that our intimacy will grow.

Have you noticed your relationship has grown as you have prayed together?What else have you noticed that will help your spiritual connection to grow?

Bradley D. Watson, BCBTDirected Path Ministries

After spending more than 25 years on church staffs, God has allowed me to take the experiences and knowledge that I gained to develop a Biblical Counseling ministry.The basis of this ministry is to allow God’s Word to shine on the main issues in peoples’ lives in order to bring His resolutions to problems.

Providing Hope for Troubled Times

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A young couple had been married for several years and they had reached a point that they were not satisfies in their marriage. Something was missing. They had children, owned their house, and drove fairly nice cars. Each had jobs that kept them busy and then they chased kids during the evening. They had very full lives but still there was something missing!! The wife began to pray about having a better husband. See, her husband said he was a Christian, but each Sunday he chose to stay home rather than go to church. He worked most Saturdays and so Sunday was the only day he could sleep in or do whatever “he wanted to do.” This attitude left his wife wanting more in the relationship. The husband would argue with her that he was working so much to provide for her needs as well as the kids needs. Those arguments still left her wanting more. He would just get angry and go out to the shop or work in the yard. He was a good dad, most of the time. He went to the kids events, when he could. He helped around the house, he thought. He was a good provider and that should be enough. The wife continued to pray for a better husband. One day she was talking with a man at her work. He was married and faithful to church. She started thinking that she wanted a husband like this man, which the more they talked she decided she wanted this man. What she didn’t realize was that he too was going through some struggles at home and he was looking for more. She began to believe that this was God’s will for them both to divorce their spouses and marry each other.

I could go on with this story. Many of you have heard it before or even could write a better version. I begin with this story today in order to address a question that I believe many Christians have answered incorrectly…Does God answer our prayers with sin? Your immediate response to this question should be a resounding “NO,” yet the scenario mentioned above is far too common in the church. Why do we even consider such a thing as God answering our prayers with an answer that leads us to sin? Here are a few suggestions as to why.

People have the wrong idea of God. We understand that God is loving, merciful, and full of grace. We concentrate on those aspects of God. (I am very thankful for the grace and mercy He shows me daily.) We forget that God is equally as just, holy, and righteous. We also do not wrong to think about the wrath of God. We have put God in a box that mostly reflects what we would like in a god. We do not see God as who He really is.

People are selfish. I know that this is an obvious statement. We allow our selfishness to control our thoughts and our actions. In our selfishness, we are also impatient when it comes to waiting on God to answer our prayers in His timing. When we pray for God to change someone or our circumstances, we must allow Him to do His work. Sometimes, God does things immediately while other times He works methodically which takes time.

People have their own idea of how the prayer is to be answered. When we pray, do we want God’s solution or do we want God to bless our solution? I know that Psalmist says that “God will give us the desires of our hearts.” What people fail to realize is that there are conditions to that promise. “Delight yourself in the Lord,” “Commit your way to the Lord,” and “Trust in Him” are the three conditions to the promise. (Psalms 37:4-5) When we are willing to follow the conditions, He is willing to give us the desires of our heart. Not before.

The Bible says in James 1:13b “and He Himself does not tempt anyone.” God has never tempted anyone to sin. He would not answer a prayer with a sin. When someone tells you that God has told them to do something that is sin, don’t believe them. God will not and does not go against His Word at any time. It is important that as we walk on our journey with God that we consider that God is wanting our lives to give Him glory and show His character to others. We cannot do that if we give God credit for the sin in our lives.

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About this time every year, I begin evaluating the year that is winding up and looking toward the year that is just around the corner. I know that a lot of people and business owners do the same thing. I believe that it is a healthy practice because with out proper evaluation and goal setting, the status quo would be the norm. I don’t know about you, but the status quo is not what I want to accomplish.

As I reflect on this past year, I can see some progress in Directed Path Ministries. The operation budget has increased, which means growth. The clerical needs have increased as well. Over the course of the year, I have averaged 11 appointments per week. I have had at least 1 new appointment each week. Now I realize that these numbers do not sound like a lot, yet it reflects an increase in the ministry from last year.

Now as I think about this coming year, I obviously want to see more growth. I have been asking myself as well as praying about how that is going to be accomplished. Over the past few weeks I have been in several pastors’ offices introducing the ministry of DPM to them. I believe the more pastors that I can have a face-to-face with, the more referrals I will receive. I also am asking for more feedback from individuals so that I can be more sensitive to the “customer service” aspect of owning a business (even if it is a ministry). I am looking to visit with more business-minded individuals as well to understand the business side of running the ministry. I know that you might be thinking, if it is a ministry why do you need business ideas? I believe that I have ignored the business side of Directed Path Ministries for the first 3 years of her existence and it is beginning to show in some areas. My desire is for Directed Path Ministries to be seen as a ministry of excellence as well as a ministry of compassion for people.

I share this with you today for two main reasons. The first is that I would ask that you would pray with me concerning the future of DPM. In relationship to the future, I have some specific requests for prayer.

The ministry would increase. I would love to be able to see more people each week. I know there are hurting people and I believe that Biblical Counseling can help heal the hurts.

There would be an avenue into the churches. I am praying about offering seminars or different events to minister to the area through the local churches concerning specific topics.

The finances would increase. Yes, I am asking for prayer concerning the finances of DPM. Even though I have seen growth in the ministry, so many of the people I counsel with are individuals that cannot pay for the counseling. I am asking that God provides all the needs so that I can continue to minister to each and every person that calls.

The second reason that I share these things with you is to ask you to pray about you becoming a financial supporter. To be quite honest with you, I hesitate to even write this request. My board of directors knows that when it comes to asking for money, I am the worst. I never want to be seen as someone that is only doing something for money. I know that God is going to meet the needs of this ministry. I am asking you to see if you are supposed to be an instrument of God concerning the finances of Directed Path Ministries. If you would like to give, you may do so through the website, www.directedpathministries.org.

I want to thank each one of you for reading today and doing what God has laid on your heart to do.

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I was asked a few days ago by a couple of different people ” how to hear the voice of God.” The Bible says in Hebrews 3:7 (NLT)

7 That is why the Holy Spirit says, “Today when you hear his voice,…”

Hearing God’s voice seems to come natural for some people, while others truly struggle with that concept. Dr. Henry Blackaby in his study, Experiencing God, wrote that God spoke in five different ways:

Through the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself, His purposes, and HIs ways.

Through the Bible.

Through Prayer.

Through circumstances.

Through the church and other believers.

This list might not be comprehensive, but it seems to be very accurate. I have heard God’s voice in each one of these ways on different occasions. Sometimes God uses a combinations of each of these.

Why do people not hear God’s voice? The conclusion of the verse quoted above says Hebrews 3:8 (NLT)

8 don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness.

I think the first reason that we do not hear God’s voice is that we have hardened our hearts toward God. We would rather rebel against God’s Word than be obedient to God’s Word. It seems to be easier to do things our own way than to look to God to find His way.

A second reason is that our lives are cluttered with a lot of “noise.” What do I mean by noise? I mean the cares of this world along with the hustle and bustle of life. We get consumed with what is going on at work, at home, or in our social circles that we cannot hear the still small voice of God. When Elijah needed to hear from God, God showed him several major events but He was not in any of them. Then the Bible says that Elijah “heard a gentle whisper” which the word means total silence. We have to be quiet before the Lord to hear Him. That is very difficult for us to do in 2013 as we have so many things that occupy our thoughts and our lives.

Do you want to hear God’s voice? In order to do so, we must be willing to be obedient to God’s Word. In order to be obedient to God’s Word, wemust spend time reading it. Secondly, we must be willing to be quiet and get rid of the noise around us. Are we willing to turn off the social media, TV, radio, along with any other distractions that prevent us from hearing? When we get serious about hearing from God, He will speak to us.

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There is so much going through my mind at this time that I really don’t know where to begin. I have been on a roller-coaster over the past few days as far as my ministry is concerned. On some days, it is very evident that I am to minister to people through the counseling ministry of Directed Path Ministries. I know God’s hand is on me and He continues to give me wisdom and discernment for the individuals and couples that come to see me. Then there are other days that I long to preach and lead a group of people as their pastor. The burning desire to preach gets so hot that I don’t think that I will ever be able to survive if I don’t get to preach.
A few weeks ago, I began talking to a small church to be their pastor. It would be a bi-vocational position, so I would be able to keep my counseling ministry and still get to be a pastor. Things progressed very well and God seemed to confirm His call to the church. Lisa and I agreed that God was moving toward there…Just not everyone in the church heard the same thing from God. Several members decided that they would prefer someone else as their pastor. Man, was I disappointed! I truly felt that God was calling me. I realize that God is still working and I am not counting anything out, yet I have to focus on God and not on the disappointments.
As far as the counseling ministry is concerned, I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God has called me and gifted me to help people work through their problems using Biblical principles. The main issue today with the ministry is the financial aspect. I have not been good at raising money or even asking for money. I have listened to the fundraising that is taking place on the radio and I have wondered about all the emotionally charged tactics that are used and how God is glorified in that. I know that it is not my place to judge other ministries. I am only pointing out that I have had to ask myself about trying to make Directed Path Ministries more financially stable.
I am asking you today to pray about possibly giving to Directed Path Ministries. There is a link on the main web site that will allow you to give directly. If you cannot give, would you please take a moment to pray for God to provide for the ministry of DPM to continue so that couples and individuals alike can find the help that only God can give for the solutions to their life’s problems. Thank you in advance for both your financial and prayer support.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

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This morning as I awoke, I began thinking about all that has transpired in the past few weeks or months which culminated in the election results last night. Many evangelical Christians really struggled concerning the religion of Mr. Romney, but at the same time knew that Mr. Obama was not who they desired to continue to lead this country. I recall many conversations that I either participated in or observed where there was great emotion concerning the election. Most of the emotion was negative with name calling and back-biting. I probably even added some negativity to the ones I participated in. I have asked God’s forgiveness of my wrong doing. Even when I went to bed I was disappointed in the outcome of the election. You see, I am very pro-life and conservative if anyone reading this did not know. I believe in the sanctity of life as well as the sanctity of Biblical Marriage. But in my disappointment, I heard God’s voice ask me “Whom are you trusting?” A very convicting question. I know that I have posted on FaceBook and Twitter about how we are to walk with God and trust Him, no matter who is elected. I know that I have encouraged others to realized that God is in control and we are just to do our responsibility, which is to pray and vote. At the same time, my own emotions are full of confusion and questions about what the next four years will be like. I want to share some thoughts with you that I believe God is giving me this morning.
1. I am to pray for Mr. Obama. Several places in scripture, God tells us to pray for our leaders and to be subject to them. Romans 13:1-7 and I Timothy 2:1-3 are just a couple of them.
2. I am to respect Mr. Obama as president. Does that mean I have to agree with his politics? NO! What it does mean is that I am to not talk bad about the man. I am not supposed to belittle him as a person. He holds the office of President of the United States, which is the highest honor in the free world. There are times that his behavior does not indicate that he understands that, but my job is not to point that our disrespectfully.
3. I am to pray for our nation. I am to pray for the leaders in both the House and the Senate. I also need to be praying for our Evangelical Christian leaders in our nation, rather that be pastors, evangelists, or other national voices that are following God’s leadership.
I am still left with some questions about our future as a country and the freedoms that we have enjoyed for our history to this point. Will we lose some of those freedoms? What is going to happen to our country economically, socially, as well as religiously? I think I can make a fairly good guess concerning these questions, but in all actuality I do not know.
I also wonder if the Christians of the United States need to learn a lesson through what is happening politically. I have heard so many people whom claim to be Christians speak so badly toward the President. I have been in debates about how we are to act and speak. I thank God that we do not have a leader like Nero or Domitian. I thank God that we still have the ability to vote and voice our opinions concerning our beliefs. What if we are in this situation because we did not act as God wanted us to act? What if we are in the crucible of life, needing to learn how to be Godly in the political arena as well as the pulpits and the work force?
I am not blaming any one. I am asking questions concerning what is going on around me. I think we all as Christians need to ask God what we are supposed to be doing in all of our lives and then act on those instructions. We do not need a president who agrees with us to be effective as Christians. All we need is to have The Holy Spirit in our hearts directing us and to know the Word of God in order to know how God desires for us to live. I think the challenge today is for us to kneel before God to get our marching orders and then to march. I believe also we are to be armed with the love of God for all whom we encounter today to offer the hope that only comes from God.

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Intimacy is a term that is used in our society to describe a sexual relationship. There is some truth with that idea, yet there is so much more involved in the term “Intimacy” that needs to be included in the definition. I would like to discuss one of the most important aspects of the term of intimacy.As a Biblical counselor, I believe the most important aspect of intimacy in a marriage relationship is Spiritual Intimacy. As a couple, there needs to be a spiritual foundation to build the relationship on. I believe that a couple relate with one another in conjunction with how each relates with God. So lets look at this idea.
In order to build on this foundation, the first question that needs an answer is “Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?” A relationship with God through Jesus Christ is paramount in building your spiritual intimacy. After you ask this question of yourself, you need to ask it of your mate. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14
14 Do not be [a]bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Once we answer these questions, we need to move on to the next step. How important is this relationship to you? Does your relationship with The Lord control your thought processes as well as your actions? Now I know that every one might be on a different level than others. I am not suggesting that everyone needs to be on the same page. I am suggesting that spouses need to be on the same page. If one person is more in tune with what the Bible says than the other one can create problems between the couple.
The final question is how do you worship together? Do you have a prayer time together? Do you attend church together? Do you serve in the church together? Yes, I understand that I am a Baptist preacher and I might sound like one as I write this. Yet, it is important to follow the guidelines that God has placed in scriptures for us. God instituted marriage at the very beginning of creation. He continues to show the importance of marriages throughout scripture. Once we understand that God wants our marriages to be fulfilling and satisfying, it is easier to follow His instructions.
God loves you and He loves marriage. His plans for your marriage are for your fulfillment as a person. God desires for your marriage to give Him glory. When a couple is following these guidelines together, their level of intimacy goes deeper than those who do not place a priority on their spirituality.