So who would portray the ding-a-ling?

What I don’t understand is why isn’t Hollywood making the Roseville Galleria fire into a movie? It’s unbelievable!
A ding-a-ling with a match, a cop that doesn’t want to wear a hat because he wouldn’t look cool, a fire department that’s afraid of fire, another cop that’s afraid of a ding-a-ling with a match.
It wouldn’t take but a half-dozen people to cast the movie.
The movie would or could go like this:
First, this ding-a-ling with a match goes in an unlocked door, the one the fire department thought was locked. Then ding-a-ling lights match which scares cop nearby. Cop tells a guy to shut off sprinkler because he doesn’t want to get his head wet. Fire department, looking out for his men, yells, “Stay back. Let ’er burn.” Then after thinking about it, decides to “surround and drown.”
You talk about a comedy! I kind of feel sorry for our next generation. If our future is from today’s bicycle riders, we’re doomed. That plastic hat they wear kills me.
Knight Wagner, Colfax