Sunday, May 6, 2012

Day 15- Anger Reactions

Today I reacted in anger when someone grew angry
towards me, because I said something that the person was sensitive about. The
person looked me right in the eyes and confronted me. I feared the
confrontation, and instead of standing up from within that fear I grew angry. I
projected this anger onto the person instead of taking self-responsibility for
it by realizing that I am only angry at myself for not sticking up for myself
due to fear of confrontation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak
haphazardly, using many words without considering their consequences and impact
upon those around me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak
words without considering whether or not I can stand by them eternally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
participate in a conversation because I found it funny, somewhat at the expense
of another person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react
in anger and project it on to another, using the excuse that THEY aren’t taking
responsibility for their emotions/reactions and are projecting onto me, when I
am in fact doing this very thing myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to
take responsibility for my emotions/feelings/reactions in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react
in anger towards another instead of realizing that I am only angry with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
confrontation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
angry at myself for fearing confrontation instead of standing up from within
that fear and changing it.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to
stand by the words I speak/speak words I can stand by.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
standing up for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
confrontation because I fear I won’t stand up for myself and will thus end up
frustrated and disappointed in myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be or
become frustrated and disappointed with myself when I don’t stand up for me,
instead of facing myself in forgiveness, figuring out why I feel these things,
rescripting myself and walking the change over time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
standing up for myself because of uncertainty, wherein I feel uncertain whether
what I am standing up for and as is valid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
want/need/desire to stand up to things/issues/situations in which I am standing
up from within an energetic experience, wherein I am standing up in defense of
my own ego/ideas/limitations/beliefs, instead of standing up as myself as Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access
all the memories I have of times I allowed others to use me/walk on me in
moments where I did not stand up for me, wherein I become angry at myself
instead of forgiving myself in order that I may never allow myself to go into
inferiority again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act thoughtlessly,
not without thought, but within too much thought, wherein I become distracted
and ‘lost in thought’ when and as I act, so that if someone questions what I’ve
done or why I’ve done something, it takes me a long time to remember why I did
it, and in the time it takes me to remember I go into guilt and inferiority,
just assuming that I’ve done something wrong, this creates a sense of self-victimization
where I feel wrongly accused,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
participate within inferiority and self-victimization which brings me into an
energetic state within which I think/believe/perceive I am weak and I can’t
stand up, instead of breathing through it within the realization that it is not
real, only a self-created delusion that limits, diminishes and does not serve
me.

I realize that when I speak words I cannot stand by, it’s
like a form of self-sabotage which creates situations that I can get called out
in, which sends me into all sorts of reactions such as anger,
self-victimization and inferiority. I realize this is completely avoidable, and
I commit myself to act within presence and awareness oneness and equality, in
every moment.

I realize it is not necessary to stand up from within
energetic experiences where I am feeling ‘defensive’ and standing up for and as
my mind/ego/ideas, I commit myself to be self-honest in these situations.

I realize that when I act ‘thoughtlessly’ I will create a
situation or guilt and inferiority for myself, I commit myself to bring myself
back to awareness in these moments, wherein I bring myself back to awareness in
order thatI may see what I’ve done so
as not to repeat it.

I realize that the weakness of inferiority and
self-victimization is not real, and I commit myself to stand up from within
these energetic experiences until I have proven to me that they no longer exist
within and as me.

When and as I see myself not standing up for me, I stop, and
I breathe. I bring myself back to awareness by doing a self-check. I check to
see if I am defending my mind/ego, to see if I have acted thoughtlessly or
spoken words that I cannot stand by, I check to see if I am in inferiority or
self-victimization and I stop my participation from within these patterns. I
remind myself to remain self-honest and humble, so that I may either walk
through my consequences without reaction, or stand up for myself as life.

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About Me

Hi, my name is Kimberly Kline (nee Doubt). I stand for an Equal Money System- I stand for a dignified life for all beings and I will no longer accept or allow this system of human greed and self-interest that is causing suffering, starvation and abuse for the masses. Every 'solution' we have tried so far has failed- from the United Nations to the United Church. Individual self-change and leadership by example is where it's at. I humbly commit myself to this process and invite anyone who has respect for Life to join me and walk with me, beside me, as self-willed equals, until all are free from the global compromise humanity has created for itself.
Join Desteni for further discussions about world systems and humanity's place within them. Visit Desteni.org and Equalmoney.org.