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Strawberry Fro-Yo Forever

Make that “Strawberry Daquiri Fro-Yo Forever.” We’re going all TCBY up in this hizzy!

You will taste your berries before you go dumping the sugar in all willy-nilly, because they might be sweeter than you were expecting. You will have learned this from my mistake.

Then you’ll mix the sugar in, and things will get alarmingly moldy-looking. It’s not mold! I promise!

And then everything gets juicy and luscious looking. Here is where you will thank yourself for having the foresight to have purchased TWO large containers of berries when you were at Trader Joe’s wasting money on chocolate pudding and bags of dried mango with cayenne instead of doing REAL grocery shopping, because you will want to eat some of these berries with a dollop of whipped cream.

If you did not have that foresight, sucks to be you, huh? For then into the blender must all the berries go, along with yogurt, lime juice and rum.

Then you will chill your fro-yo base next to the sparkling water that you got to make cocktails with St. Germain, because you are both sophisticated and twee…

…before freezing it. Note: Hovering obsessively over the ice cream maker does not cause the yogurt to firm up any more quickly than it would otherwise, even if you concentrate REALLY REALLY HARD.

The reward for all your hard work! Eat it with some of your leftover berries, and spoon a little of their juices over the top for EXTRA BERRY PUNCH.

Hull and quarter the berries and toss them with the sugar; the amount of sugar you’ll need depends on the sweetness of your berries, so play it by ear. Leave the berries to macerate on the counter for an hour or so, tossing occasionally.

Chuck the berries, yogurt, lime juice and rum into a blender. Blend until smooth. Chill the blended mixture for at least 1 hour.

Freeze according to your ice cream maker’s instructions. Scoop finished fro-yo into a container and put in the freezer for at least 2 hours.

HELL YES. Mascerated strawberries are some of my all time favorite eats, regardless of how moldy-looking they may be. I took my freezing canister out of the freezer to make room for a ham, which I have yet to cook because it’s a full spiral cut and there are only two of us. Now I’m actually MOVING THE HAM across country with us in a freezer/cooler, and I’ve forgone homemade ice cream since Easter. Lame. Sometimes I make poor decisions.

I would be thrilled to find strawberries that good. So far all I’ve found are the ones that are white inside. It would take a lot of sugar to make this – and I do want to make it. I’ll just have to wait until late June