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Saturday, January 9, 2010

Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where I serve low-fat rehash. One of the good things about having such a crappy short-term memory is that when I go back and read some of these older posts, I don't remember them. This one made me snicker a bit, mostly because I have a bad tendency to comment on other people's blogs with the first thing that comes to my head. It's not always the smartest of moves...

Have you ever left a comment on somebody’s weight loss blog, and then immediately thought “Oh, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say?” And then you were going to erase it and write something more sensible, but then your daughter Pisa calls you at the office and tells you to bring home popsicle sticks for a project she’s working on so you gotta spend the rest of the day eating popsicles even when you’re not really that hungry and the Popsicle Dude only had lime popsicles after you chased him all the way down the street yelling “Whoa! Stop! Popsicle Dude!” Yeah, me too.

“You’ve come a long way, Fatty.”

“Maybe your mom hates you.”

“Your kid sure is funny-looking.”

“If anything, it looks like you’ve gained weight.”

“Maybe they fired you because you were incompetent.”

“That haircut is hideous.”

“Wow, your daughter’s smokin’. What’s her email address?”

“That dish looks like somebody threw up on a plate.”

“Jesus… just give up already.”

“Maybe he hasn’t called because he’s been in a car accident.”

“Just do everything your husband says and your marriage will be fine.”

“Have you ever heard of “spelcheck,” stupid?

“I lose more than that when I break wind.”

“Will you please quit talking about “losing a stone”? I don’t even know what that means…”

“Who designed your blog… a sea-sick chimpanzee?”

“You deserve a reward. How about a pan of warm brownies and a glass of whole milk?”

“Gain because of TOM? Riiiiiiiiiiiight.”

“LOL at your cancer story.”

Now be sure and leave me a comment today... but thinkabout it before you do.

Note: The thing that made me laugh most when I reread this was the comment section, where a couple of people informed me that you can buy popscicle sticks at the craft store and I replied, "Yes, yes, yes... I'm aware you can buy popsicle sticks at a craft store, but they come in packs of 50 and she only needed 15 or so. How stupid would it have been to buy a whole pack and have all those leftover sticks? Think, people. Think!"

Dude, seriously? lolI've thought about leaving something like some of those.TOM is a real reason. A woman carries more water weight/retention at that time, and sometimes at ovalation. Up to a kilo of weight in fact. So there :oÞ

I distinctly remember you leaving a comment about How I would love a song called fireflies by owl something or other...on opposite day.Pretty funny.Oh, and by the way...the only reason those are bad comments is because they are toohonest.I have wanted to scream "Oh, just give up already" a couple of times...well, everything but that whole cancer lol thing.That's just wrong.

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About Me

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jack,
Who never quit eating ‘cept to stop and have a snack.
Then one day he was standing on his scale,
And he realized he’d really let his body go to hell.
(Obesity that is, back fat, Texas toast)
Well the first thing you know old Jack he made a vow,
He’d ratchet up the exercise and slow down on the chow.
He wanted to get his weight back to where it oughta be,
So he loaded up his stuff and he moved to Bloggery.
(Google Blogger that is, writing posts, makin’ jokes)
Well now it's time to say hello to Jack and all his sh*t
As he chronicles his adventures on his journey to get fit.
You're all invited back each day to this locality,
To have a heaping helping of health and hilarity.
(Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit, that is.)
Y'all come back now, ya hear?