Sexual Health

Sex Life. Find daily tips for a healthy sex life for both men and women from Dr. David Samadi. Discover the health benefits of sex and what causes sex life issues such as male and female infertility, low testosterone or estrogen, hormonal issues, menopause, erectile dysfunction, sexual function and what causes sexual dysfunction. Explore healthy solutions for sexual issues.

SEX LIFE

It's about time that scientists began devoting some of their brain power and grant money to really benefiting mankind! Researchers at the University of Toronto put their heads together to pin down the secret to a happy sex life.

We won't keep you waiting: the study says the key is the belief that it takes hard work and effort, instead of expecting sexual satisfaction to simply happen because you are in love.

Apparently, many of us whose sex life is less than ideal are under the impression that simply because we have found our soulmate everything else will simply fall into place, sexually speaking.

“People who believe in sexual destiny are using their sex life as a barometer for how well their relationship is doing, and they believe problems in the bedroom equal problems in the relationship as a whole,” says Jessica Maxwell, a PhD candidate at UT.

“Whereas people who believe in sexual growth not only believe they can work on their sexual problems, but they are not letting it affect their relationship satisfaction.”

Maxwell bases her statements on the results of a study of approximately 1,900 participants involved in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

The study pegged a “honeymoon phase” that lasts about two to three years during which sexual satisfaction is high among both “sexual growth” and “sexual destiny” believers. As sexual desire begins a natural period of ebb and flow after the this phase, commitment to sexual growth becomes crucial to happiness.

“We know that disagreements in the sexual domain are somewhat inevitable over time,” says Maxwell. “Your sex life is like a garden, and it needs to be watered and nurtured to maintain it.”

Although stereotypes might have women firmly in the camp of soulmates and romantic destiny, the research showed that they are more likely than men to believe that sex takes work in a long-term relationship.

Maxwell believes that's because “there is some evidence that sexual satisfaction takes more work for women, so they rate higher on the sexual growth scale.”

But believing in sexual—growth won't gird couples from substantial problems in the bedroom. Sexual-destiny subscribers, however, may be open to making changes in their sex life for the sake of their partners if they are truly convinced they have found their soulmate.

The main takeaway from the work is the idea that problems in the bedroom are normal, and don’t mean the relationship is automatically in trouble.

“Sexual-destiny beliefs have a lot of similarities with other dysfunctional beliefs about sex, and I think it’s important to recognize and address that,” Maxwell wrote.