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Topic : 08/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 5

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Created on : Friday, February 23, 2007, 02:08:43 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 06/26/07) Three couples trying to save their marriages continue their work at The Dr. Phil House. Throughout their relationship, Scott and Tara have had violent fights that have included slashed tires and police visits. Dr. Phil sits down with Scott to discuss how he can control his anger problem and set up personal boundaries that will put an end to the fighting with his wife. Afterward, Scott feels confident enough to vow to Tara that he is never going to yell at her again. Will he stick by his declaration? Then, Dr. Phil puts the group through some intense exercises, so they can learn their partner’s point of view. As each person stands before the group and explains what he or she really wants, raw emotions pour out, and the couples find themselves growing closer with compassionate support. Plus, Dr. Phil teaches them his rules for fighting (link to /articles/article/20 ) and his rules for children. After seeing a videotape of all their kids, the message is loud and clear. Will the couples apply what they’ve learned and change their families forever? Share your thoughts here.

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02/26 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 5

My husband and I have been married 25 years this October. I'm going to lay it right out, and some won't believe it or they'll think I'm telling stories, but here goes. I can count on one hand how many times we have fought in our time together, and it was more disaggrements then fights, we don't yell at eachother because we respect eachother. If my children acted they way these people are acting, I wouldn't care how old they are, I'd send them for time out.

Kudos Dr.Phil for trying so had to them to see the light! I hope you can get the door to open or the curtans to part so, they can see themselves.

God Bless

&

Good Luck

Dee

My husband and I celebrated our 25th Anniversary in June 2006. We are happily married but we went through some tough years. We didn't fight either but that was because my husband refused to fight. I was the one who did the yelling and name-calling. He never did. Nor would he discuss anything that meant confrontation. Over time we learned how to disagree and how to do it without either cutting the other one down or ignoring the other one. My heart goes out to these folks and their problems. They are hurting or they wouldn't be reacting this way. If they can get to the root problem of that cause of their anger, etc., I know there is hope for them. At least one in the couple has to be willing to start changing regardless of what the other one says or does. It takes a lot of discipline and courage. But I can tell you, when the healing takes place it seems like being right just isn't so important anymore. Thanks to God and a lot of hard work on the part of us both, we have a happy, healthy marriage. My husband is my best friend and guess what?? He almostyells at me now! :) But that's because I've shut up and have made it safe for him to say what he needs to say. Dr. Phil had a large part in my being willing to change. Thanks, Dr. Phil, for your voice that is out there being loud and clear and calling things as you see them.

Where's the help?

I really hope that these three families, with all the help of Dr.Phil, will break through to save their marriages. I don't believe it will be an easy task, but they can do it if their foundations are strong and cemented. I will pray for them and their dear children. Lory.

This group only depresses me more. Every time I feel help is around the corner I get bashed again. That adoption scamm did not help much either. The only thing I got from it was more paranoid about the inter-net and the way people treat each other. I haver been reduced to a state of poor-ness at the hands of Mortage Brokers in Southern California. At mu age there is no 'Brighter Day'! If I had one wish it would to get the help of the Investigator used by this show.

It's real life for me

It makes me wonder sometimes & I hope it's not just me... that these people in the Dr.Phil house are a bunch of wannabe actors really puttin it to the show with the drama... & the story lines as well... who writes the storylines anyway??.. they are so good at doing it... & the whole thing is so believeable... and it feels like it's too good to be true tv... like I said.. I hope its not just me.....

I would love to NOT be able to identify with these painful relationships. I would love to think it was all make-believe TV hype. But it is my reality. My marriage is probably a combination of the three but close to the older couple. We have been married almost 25 years but are now preparing to separate. He has treated me like an inferior child while using me as a maid. He has called me names and demeaned me in front of my children. In public, he is Mr. Charming and people think we have a great marriage. But at home, he has been involved in inappropriate relationships, beaten my son and had police and DCFS involvement, ruined vacations and holidays, too many things to list. I hope these couples can get help. But in my situation, after decades of counseling and the intervention of wise, caring friends, I realize that the ultimate boundary is separation. I cannot endure another year of this.

Hmm...

It makes me wonder sometimes & I hope it's not just me... that these people in the Dr.Phil house are a bunch of wannabe actors really puttin it to the show with the drama... & the story lines as well... who writes the storylines anyway??.. they are so good at doing it... & the whole thing is so believeable... and it feels like it's too good to be true tv... like I said.. I hope its not just me.....

Unfortunately, I think its for real. Some of the women like the spotlight and thrive on drama. I don't think they'd know what to do with a peaceful relationship...probably get bored and start something to entertain themselves. I should know, we smell our own.

I think they'll need a lot of therapy before they're even close to on the right track. It's a start, i guess. I can see them getting into it with their SO's...5 or 6 weeks does not a 180 turn make. I like Amanda, I think she has a good head on her shoulders, she'll be okay as long as she stays away from the clubs.

big sigh of relief

Im so glad Scott vowed to never yell at his wife anymore. Thats great! Do we get to hear John vow to never beat the crap outta Cherie again, too? Oh boy! Cant hardly wait for that! Nothing as inspiring as a few well chosen words.

I AM wondering though... did you all trash the house again and tell Scott he needed to clean it up on his own? No?

Didnt think so. Wouldnt want to have to watch him pitch another fit after his vows and everything.

What about the NUMBERS?

You do a great job getting the couples to see the light yet were they when their parents were teaching how to get along? So many are getting married without thinking about how to communicate other than thinking once the ring is on I'm in charge mentality. Co-operation is a thing of the past. There is a greater than 50% failure rate with marriage today!

My marriage would not have worked no matter how hard I tried. Once I figured what she was after I left and never looked back. I know it was not fair on my daughter yet in those days DADDIES were expendable and were only allowed parental rights at a financial price. The courts always looked toward the mother as the primary care giver unless it could be proved different. Even your show is pro women. I don't remember ever seeing a man helped to regain custody or visitation priviledges.

Today I miss not being in my daughters life yet my life was not very stable after my wive complained to my employer that I was abusive and as an adolescent counselor it would not look good if she went to the local news.

Learning how to "listen" is more important than learning how to "talk" and until both parties can learn this the brick wall of indifference will always be present. Thanks again, Don Williamson

Genuine...

Im so glad Scott vowed to never yell at his wife anymore. Thats great! Do we get to hear John vow to never beat the crap outta Cherie again, too? Oh boy! Cant hardly wait for that! Nothing as inspiring as a few well chosen words.

I AM wondering though... did you all trash the house again and tell Scott he needed to clean it up on his own? No?

Didnt think so. Wouldnt want to have to watch him pitch another fit after his vows and everything.

You have a point here momisme, how do we know that he won't backslide? So what's the acid test? What happens if one person changes and the other doesn't...Is there a follow up on this? I would be interested in seeing where they are in a couple of months.

I think they all really WANT to change.

I hope they have all at least got pointed in the right direction. I think it's just so hard to change especially if a person is predisposed to having a quick temper, is quick to anger, has a low opinion of the opposite sex, is verbally,emotionally.or physically abusive. If these things become habits,become the way a person reacts to life ,I would think it would be very hard to change. But, not impossible. I hope they can all make their marriages work better and be more happy. I would assume they should all have ongoing counseling(maybe they have, I guess it has been a while since the show was taped) Let's face it we all like happy endings.

I believe you.

My husband and I have been married 25 years this October. I'm going to lay it right out, and some won't believe it or they'll think I'm telling stories, but here goes. I can count on one hand how many times we have fought in our time together, and it was more disaggrements then fights, we don't yell at eachother because we respect eachother. If my children acted they way these people are acting, I wouldn't care how old they are, I'd send them for time out.

Kudos Dr.Phil for trying so had to them to see the light! I hope you can get the door to open or the curtans to part so, they can see themselves.

God Bless

&

Good Luck

Dee

My husband and I will be married 33 years in May. We have never called each other names, or screamed at each other. We don't always agree with each other, but we can talk things out . We either compromise, or one of us relents. And some things are just not worth discussing. As we've gotten older and lost family members, life is getting shorter and just not worth spending time fighting over. Plus, neither one of us is quick to anger or hold resentments. I think that we have just been very blessed. You know, in the VERY best of circumstances , none of us know in the beginning how our marriage will work. It's a little like a "pig in a poke." Some of us just get luckier than others. I hope the couples on the show hang in there and use what they've learned on the show.