Watch This Wannabe Ninja Slice and Dice Defenseless Water Bottles

In this mesmerizing clip, chubby wannabe ninja Will Keith combines his scary love of blades with an irrational hatred of water bottles. The result is almost three minutes of intense bottle-slicing carnage and mayhem.

Why exactly does Keith do this? Maybe he's upset about the toll water bottles take on the environment. Or maybe he's preparing for a fight against brain-eating, water bottle zombies. Either way, this guy has a serious axe (pun!) to grind.

In one disturbing segment, Keith, whose collection includes two katanas, three machetes, two Nordic axes and a Ka-Bar tactical knife, stabs a water cooler jug at close range like it just killed his best friend. Then, he halves the jug with a mighty swing from a samurai sword strapped to his waist.