Isolate her in the venue you met her. Phase 4. Bounce her to a venue not in the pickup location and not in the seduction location. Phase 5. Invite her back to your place. Phase 6. Duration: a few hours.

THEN you can arouse her. Phase 7.

So, you’re telling me not to kiss her until then?

No, no, no, no.

When you first kiss a girl it’s NOT to arouse her. It’s to build comfort. Kiss her for the first time during the comfort phase. And when you first kiss, DON’T be sticking your tongue down her throat, making out, or anything like that. Kiss on the lips (without tongue), then pull away.

There’s a classic example of this in Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall.” Check it out:

The first kiss is just to build comfort now. You eliminate the “friend zone.” And it makes it easier to get down and busy later when you’re alone with her.

Save foreplay for the SEVENTH phase. You’ll see some guys make out with a girl in public. Don’t do this. Save it for private. When you’ve attracted her and built a connection with her, THEN you can arouse her in private.

Wanna know the coolest part of waiting this long?

You build waaaaaaay more sexual tension.

For example, BEFORE foreplay:

DO touch her always, holding her hand, giving her a kiss, a massage, a playful nudge, whatever.

DO bounce her to several locations before you invite her back to your place.

DO introduce her to other people, so she sees you’re a social person.

DO say “I’m trying so hard not to kiss you” before you kiss.

DO say “Let’s slow this down” when you first kiss. And pull away.

DO always be willing to walk away, never crowding her or supplicating to her.

DO have her sit down when she comes into the seduction location, get her a drink, talk, relax for a bit. DON’T pounce on her.

By that time she’ll often do the seduction for you.

In a way, all this IS foreplay. Maybe what I should say is: don’t AROUSE her till the seventh phase of a pickup.

After you’ve talked a bit in the living room, kiss her again. You’ve been doing it all along. But now you can kiss her to AROUSE her.

And lead her into the bedroom.

My point is, no need to rush into sex. Do touch and kiss for those few hours before she’s alone in a seduction location with you. Hold off on arousing her till that private time. You’ll build sexual tension, sidestep last minute resistance (phase 8), make sex (phase 9) something she wants, and avoid “buyer’s remorse” later.

Okay, fine. But how do arouse her during this “seventh” phase?

THAT’S an excellent question. I’ve got some stuff on all that in the “Sex” section of this website. Check it out if you’d like. But it’s basically the same principle. The more anticipation and teasing and not-rushing-into-sex you do, the more aroused she gets. Funny how that works, huh?

Turn on her mind, and her panties will follow. That’s the whole beauty of waiting till the seventh phase.

The approach and the kiss are probably the two scariest parts of the pickup, right? I mean those times are when we REALLY put ourselves out there, and when we can get rejected… bad.

And when it comes to the kiss, we don’t want to be the “bad guy” and make her feel uncomfortable. Give me a nod if you relate. So, a lot of times we just don’t do anything at all.

Of course you and I know that’s a HUGE mistake. Why?

Because if we DON’T kiss her, it’s either “What up, Friend’s Zone how’s it going?” or she’ll be like “This guy has no balls. Let me find a guy who has a pair.”

Can I tell you a story from my own life where this exact thing happened?

Back in college, before I had an ounce of a clue with women, I had one of THE most beautiful, coolest of girls in my dorm room. It went downhill from there.

We were in an upper level philosophy class together. I was a philosophy major and she was an accounting major. I was TOTALLY in love with her. Not only was this girl BEAUTIFUL with a glorious pair of tits, but she was taking an upper level philosophy class for just FUN? Holy SHIT!

The other classes I had I’d wear a sweatshirt to class. This class, I showered, shaved and made sure to wear my best shirt.

I’m not sure how I got her in my dorm room. I must have finally gotten enough courage to strike up a conversation with her by the end of the semester, found out she needed help on the final, and told her I could help. So this girl that EVERY guy on campus had a hard on for was ALONE with me in my room.

Stomach doing backflips? Check.

Now get this. When she was in my room alone with me, she plopped herself down right next to me in my love seat. There was plenty of room in that seat. But she made sure to sit RIGHT NEXT to me so her leg was touching mine. On the outside I was talking philosophy. On the inside I was like AHHHHHHHHH!

Oh, don’t worry, it gets worse.

That NIGHT… yes, she had decided to spend the night, yes she did… we were looking out my window at the stars talking. Nice and romantic. We stopped talking. Silence. What did I do? Oh, I kept talking about cheese balls or something. Mm-hmm. That was me. Fantastic.

After that night I had tried contacting her. She never returned my calls. This girl I was in LOVE with, I lost her forever. She was giving me all the signals, but I didn’t know how to kiss her.

Since then… thankfully… I learned how to go for the kiss. And the funny thing (or really sad thing if you think about it) is, it’s really, really easy. I want to share with you how right here.

She wants you to kiss her

The first lesson you can learn from my story is this. If a woman is giving you signals, GO FOR IT! Silence is what you’d call a screaming green light. She WANTS you to kiss her.

What are other good signals to look out for? If she’s been talking with you the entire time, smiling, giving you her attention. He-llo-ooo.

Another good signal? If you’re thinking “I want to kiss her,” there’s a good chance she’s thinking the same damn thing.

Kiss her!

DO NOT ask for permission to kiss her. Baaaaad. I’ve made that mistake and lost a girl doing that too. No, just lean in for the kiss.

This is EXACTLY how.

Brush a hair out of her face. Or smell her neck and tell her how great she smells. Or touch her earrings. Or touch her necklace while allowing your fingers to lightly caress her neck. Make a comment about the earrings or necklace when you touch them. Or how great she smells.

If she doesn’t flinch when you brush her hair out of the way or when you touch her necklace, that’s another LOUD green light. Kiss her for God’s sakes.

If you want to add some really good sexual tension, try the “triangular gazing” before you kiss her.

The Triangular Gaze

It’s killer because of all the anticipation.

Here’s how to do it:

Look her in one eye, then her other eye, then down to her mouth, and back up to her eyes again. Veeeeeeeery, very seductive. Slow your movements. Slow your breath. Slow the blink of your eyes. Hold the silence. Go in 90%. She’ll come the last 10%.

And if you want to make the girl feel really “swept away” place your hands under her ears and pull her mouth to yours.

A “movie” kiss

It’s a masculine, dominant move, and it probably makes her feel like she’s in a movie having one of those passionate “movie” kisses.

But WARNING! Keep the kiss light and short at first. And ALWAYS pull away first!

Here’s an example from that female favorite “Twilight.” Watch how the vampire here pulls away first. I know, I know. It’s Twilight. But there’s a reason women FLOCK to this movie. Let’s learn from it.

Obviously you don’t have to pull away as dramatically as he does, but DO pull away first. It’s called creating sexual tension. When I watched this scene with my girl she told me she loved how he told her what to do. Being dominant and creating sexual tension… Nice. Turns women on.

Oh, and one more thing. Don’t use too much tongue when you first kiss her. Just tease her. Build anticipation. As Mystery says, the kiss is comfort-building. Kiss her too long and you let out all the sexual tension. Pull away, and you build more tension and arousal in her for you.

If you’re still intimidated and feel like you need to move your mouth before you kiss her, try Style’s routine “Evolutionary Phase Shift.” You can find it here. Scroll down towards the bottom. But keep in mind, it’s just training wheels. Crutches. You don’t really need it.

All you need is to stop talking. Look into her eyes. Brush a hair out of her face if you’d like. If she’s still looking at you, go for the kiss.

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