Fat Thigh-roid Woes: Nikki Dubs and The Case of the Missing Thy-link

At this point, blood tests have almost become useless to me in the hands of any medical professional.

We know that doctors like to see what is on paper, rather than listen to symptoms since so much is…”in our heads” right?

My blood tests have come back from the doc, and this is what I have to report:

T3, free: 2.15
T4, free: 1.44
TSH: 0.05

I don’t feel hyper these days, in fact, I feel closer to hypo.

However, the doctor can only say in his message, “I think you’re heading towards hyperthyroid but come back in 3 months for another blood test.”

Let’s dig further, and think that maybe just maybe my pituitary gland isn’t communicating properly with my T3 and T4 bullshit a year after RAI. You think MAYBE that could be something to think about? I requested my medical records after this message, and saw that my T3 and T4 have gone DOWN from the blood test prior, and my TSH is coming up slightly – yet I’m apparently “headed towards hyperthyroid”.

Don’t even get me started on my antibodies. They’re high as a kite.

Then the rest of the voicemail was about my cholesterol being high, and how I needed to cut down on beef, dairy, “ice cream, pastries and processed foods”.

Good to know, because right when he called I was flipping a double cheeseburger with 80% fat content and about to dip it into tempura batter so I can really go all out and have myself a blessed coronary.

1 minute of my 2 minute voicemail was going into how I needed to change my diet to bring down my cholesterol. 45 seconds was about low vitamin D. The thyroid issue was about 15 seconds of “hyperthyroid”.

If I was a doctor, I’d be willing to say that my cholesterol is mainly a genetic issue AND related to my thyroid. But, I have no credentials besides GOOGLE so what do I know? I’m also not fond of his assumption that my diet must consist of processed foods, ice cream and pastries because my cholesterol is high. It’s almost like a gyno calling back with results and saying, “you have HPV, so obviously you need to cut back on being such a whore and ps? NO MORE QUARTERBACKS FOR YOU MISSY!”

I’m not mad at the doc, he’s a nice guy and just doing his job – I’m just fed up with the whole process. My cholesterol can BLOW ME right now, let me get this thyroid under control then we’ll take a look at my triglycerides. I eat olive oil, avocados, and almonds like they’re going OUTTA STYLE. What else do you want?

When will my TSH, T3 and T4 progress beyond holding hands and French kissing? When will they HOOK UP? I feel like I’m watching The X-Files all over again (I always wanted Mulder and Scully to knock boots).

TSH really has so many flaws, I think I’m just going to breakup with it. Breaking up with Folic Acid too cause it’s high and out of range. I guess that means I’m super fertile or whatever else, I dunno. F it, don’t care…thyroid thyroid thyroid.

While I stare at these pages upon pages of blood tests, I feel like Nancy-FUCKING-Drew in “The Case of the Balding Princess”. Where should I start? Shall I don a sexy trench and modernize it, or do I give a throwback to that perceptive sleuth by flipping my hair, wearing a demure dress and chugging right along to solve this case?

This is my advice to all of you out there new to this thyroid CHAOS –

ARM YOURSELVES WITH KNOWLEDGE.

Had I accepted what my doctor has told me, and not requested my blood tests in the mail I would’ve walked away with “you’re hyperthyroid.”

*NO mention of my anti-bodies.
*NO mention that my T3 & T4 have gone down since my last test.
*NO mention of my good cholesterol being in a sweet spot.

RESEARCH as much as you can, but shy away from the internet horror stories. It’s one of those double-edged sword deals. I mean, you can google “headache” and within minutes you’re convinced an aneurysm is about to take you down, the cats can’t dial 911, and “I’m going to die wearing these hideous panties.”

Use your brain, and keep a level head.

It’s a pain in the ass to have to do this, it really is – and to anyone who hasn’t had to deal with shit health it appears to be bordering on paranoia. I’ll be the first one to say that staring at these numbers, trying to figure out correlation, and researching isn’t A BLAST. I’m not opening a bottle of merlot, fluttering about my living room lighting candles, and checking the pot roast. I get it – if I’m paying for a doctor to do all the thinking for me, why should I have to think about anything beyond what he/she tells me?

Because no one will care more about my body and health than ME.

I put trust in medical professionals to a certain extent, and if I so much question something and they snap at me – my foot will get inserted into their ass. I’m not an asshole that goes in and blabbers away with nothing to back it up, I’m an asshole that actually knows what is up. I don’t mince words, I don’t get intimidated by credentials on the wall, I don’t GIVE a flying hell where you went to school. Just don’t take my health lightly and we’re good. You can be concerned and misinformed, but if you’re dismissive of me and my questions – hope you like that spiked heel on your nuts.

This is why the current doctor will still remain my general physician. While he might not understand endocrinology as well as he probably should, he is concerned and thorough. That’s all I need, because sadly, I haven’t found much better. Now the quest for a new endo begins…

Until next time, take care of yourselves and don’t be afraid to delve into The Mystery of Those Scary Numbers on your next blood test. Nothing is as it appears….
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7 Responses to “Fat Thigh-roid Woes: Nikki Dubs and The Case of the Missing Thy-link”

Nicks word for word I could have said this all but not as eloquently as you, never mind a heel it would be a steel toe cap..

I just had two days of having to sort something out and this thyitch was taking no shit over generic and brand name medication..I got my way yet again only to probably go through the same damn thing next month..I feel great when I can debate with a doctor and he either backs down so i shut the fuck up or he knows I am right and gives in anyway.

Now what will my own results bring next week? Something i can handle or not as I have got to the point now where i can’t even be bothered to get my labsa done regular anymore. seems that’s a nother battle i have to argue about each time till either my meds are increased decreased or I end up seeing a shitendo.

Just like you i stick with my GP he maybe crap about the thyroid yes he is thorough maybe a little slow to start with but we get there in the end..It’s like better the devil you know then the Devil you don’t and I haven’t found anyone better than crap shitola yet.

Great column I really do find your brand of wit amusing and hilarious. Your message is loud and clear be your own advocate because if you hang on every word (TSH low your hyper shite) professionals say you be down shit creek without a paddle.

I’ve never been one for roller coasters, and it sounds like you’re the same way. I’d like to lean over to your thyroid and yell at it to decide what it wants to do, and if you could do the same for mine that would be rad.

If I ever have kids, I’m going to read them fairy tales – like the one about the girl who goes to the doctor’s office and gets all her questions resolved and everyone lives happily ever after.

I hope it all works out for you, please let me know how your next round of blood tests decide to come out. Thank you for your kind words too, I just speak from my fed up heart…

I am working hard at becoming my own advocate, but dang… it is hard for me. I am used to being the “mama bear” for my kids, and the only kid of my parents that has “permission” to speak for them regarding medical issues. Turning that aggression towards myself is awkward at best. I know I deserve the best treatment and speaking up is the only way to get my ideas across. I am great at the research and note taking, it is the ‘OPENING MY MOUTH AND SPEAKING PART’. I have an appointment coming up with my endo, and I am physically prepared, notebook ready. I just need to get the brain ready.

Here is the deal, you don’t seem like a lady that would refrain from throwing her lady balls onto the table in any situation – why tuck them back for the doctor of all people? Grab them sister, and slam them front and center.

I know a lot of doctors don’t appreciate questions, but those doctors can suck a bag. They are THERE to ANSWER any damn question you have, so don’t even entertain the thought that you might be putting them out.

Take that notebook, and don’t get distracted. Announce “I wrote these questions down, so if you could please let me get through them I’d really appreciate it.” and just GO with it.

You have every right to want to wind up and take aim! However; there is one fatal flaw in your otherwise intelligent argument. Why would you expect your GP or Endo. to ever reach a different conclusion? They were trained with blinders on. You would think their penmanship would be better because of the time spent with the prescription pad, but they don’t even have that right.
Certainly you need to keep researching, you are your best advocate, but you must be willing to step out of the traditional medical model. It is a roller coaster of medication, it’s throwing darts while wearing a blind fold.
Here’s the deal. You have an obvious autoimmune issue. This is indicated by your high antibody numbers and your numbers continue to change. Either its primary or secondary. Because you have an attack on your thyroid, this is what should be addressed first. Until you 1) get this inflammatory condition under control and 2) find the source or sources of what’s driving this you will have a tough road ahead of you.
To think that your gp or endo will finally get educated enough or get his head out of his %#$% is putting misguided trust in the medical model.
Find someone who knows how to treat you metabolically.
Find someone who would look at everything, gut issues, adrenals, blood sugar, anemia,food sensitivities, th1/th2 imbalances, oxidative stress, toxicity issues etc
Your solution does not lie with drugs.

I agree with you 100%. I realize doctors abide by some flawed cause and effect principal – however, if my T3 and T4 are normal, it’s safe to say I am NOT hyperthyroid and I wish that was evident to a doctor.

That being said, I have mentioned in previous columns that I also see a naturopathic doctor on the side (I cheat on all my docs) who is attempting to help me get my immune system in check.

I never once believed the doctors that said my antibodies are a set number, and will never change. My antibodies go up or down depending on environmental factors along with my diet. While I can’t control my environment to the fullest extent, I support my immune system with supplements and trying to avoid gluten since it’s a major trigger for me and even my sinuses get screwed when I induldge.

I have accepted modern medicine as something that can save your life, but not as a tool to prevent disease. Treating the symptom and not the cause is my biggest beef with the medical community. One of my fave issues is when a doctor prescribes antibiotics and doesn’t tell a patient to take probiotics after finishing their bottle. I have had friends suffering from yeast infections, stomach issues, etc after a round of antibiotics, and all that could have been avoided if they knew to replenish good bacteria in their body and reset the balance.