Thursday, September 3

JUST CHERYL

You know those moments where you got your thoughts all typed out but you stop and start backspacing until everything is gone? Well, that's exactly what I just did and how I have been feeling recently.

Don't get me wrong ⎯ I love blogging. I may not be good with words, but this blog allows me to creatively express myself and put something out into the universe. Despite my absence around here, I never stopped documenting my outfits, capturing moments, editing and planning for future posts/videos. However, even after doing the most crucial part of being a 'fashion blogger', it's been months since my proper outfit post.

The excitement of creating and sharing something on this blog just ...faded away. Stricken with anxiety and struggling with my insecurities, I over analysed every little thing I do. Maybe I should have done it that way? Maybe I should I worn it like this? What if people don't like it? Right at this very moment, I am wondering, "Maybe I am sharing too much..." I hate that it is so easy for such toxic thoughts to fill my head. Along the way, I was busy worrying about everything else that I forgot the reason why I started this blog in the first place. This is a place for me to be me. Enough second guessing myself and being afraid of what others may think of me. And in the wise words of Shia Labeouf, I need to "JUST. DO IT." and not let my dreams be dreams.

We cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever.

We must stand up and move on to the next action.⎯ Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

Interestingly enough, creating videos for my youtube channel re-ignited that spark I once felt. Maybe because it is something fun, challenging and extremely new to me? Maybe because there are just so much more I can do in .mov form compared to still pixels on the computer screen? But whatever it is, I am back and feeling better.