I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

I am currently living with my parents and we decided early on that my mom would do the laundry, I would cook dinner-when home, of course-and my dad would do the dishes. Score! I hate cleaning-I like organizing, but definitely not cleaning! I do the grocery shopping too, which I love, because to me, grocery shopping is a game-I regularly cut down fifteen dollars off the total due to coupons and careful planning. By cooking every night, something unexpected has happened-healing.

Since my parents are paying the grocery bill, I feel a little freer to buy things I want and because they have more spices, I feel much freer to experiment. It helps too that my parents are so appreciative. Before I came home, they were mostly having microwave dinners and so to them, even something as simple as following the directions on the back of some box is amazing and wonderful!

I have seriously struggled with food issues since middle school and I am finally beginning to really enjoy food, which is the most wonderful part of the deal. I must also say thank you to my nutritionist, Leslie Cox. It helps knowing what true nutrition is. I now know that fat is actually needed in a diet and that there are many kinds of healthy proteins. I've always beens scared of protein, because I equated it with fat-when I was in the hospital, the nutritionist there kept on telling me that I wasn't eating enough protein, so I'm having fun for the first time ever, incorporating healthy protein into my meals. A friend of mine who also struggles with ED posts pictures of her dinners and mine was so pretty tonight that I decided to do the same.

I made: pumpkin spice pancakes with scrambled cheesy eggs with bits of ham Yum! There was also cinnamon applesauce and mango-orange juice! And boysenberry syrup! So good!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

February 22 – 29 is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. I wish there were more events to raise awareness and frankly, that more people cared. What can we do? We can talk about eating disorders without making fun of people, because they are “too” skinny or fat. We can teach our youth, and our ourselves, that being healthy is more about having an active lifestyle and enjoying all foods in moderation than in looking like an airbrushed model in a magazine. Most importantly, it means we have to stop envying the anorexic body, but instead honor the sacred in all of us.

Sunday, Feb. 22 – Merrick’s Walk – Noon- 5K Run/Walk- Location: Galloway School- Honors all who have died and all who still struggle with an eating disorder- For more info: www. edin-ga.org

Events at Ridgeview Institute – All Free

Monday, Feb. 23 – F.E.D. Support Group - 6-7:30p(Friends and Family of People with Eating Disorders)- Location: Young Adult Unit, Cottage E-East, Room 4- “F.E.D. group is an open community support group which provides education, support and strategies for coping with eating disorders in the home or within a social support network and offers guidance through difficult decision making.” It is held every Monday, usually until 7p.- Feb. 23 – “Alumni and their families will join to share their stories of strength and hope, and be available to answer questions.” I’ll be there!

Wednesday, Feb. 25 – A.N.A.D. Support Group – 6-7p(Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)- Location: Professional Building North Auditorium 1-2- Meets every Wednesday

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I just looked at my latest post and I take the title back! I have no apologies, because last year was completely shitty. How in the world was I supposed to not get discouraged when I was battling an illness with almost no support?! But it is time now to look to the future and live in the present. Easier said than done, of course. I will try, though, and that is all anyone can do.

It has been over a year since my I started this blog and this is only my second post. I am very sorry! I know that it was because I got discouraged from no one responding, but I should have written more-I should have tried harder. In my defense, last year was an absolutely awful year-I had a relapse in my eating disorder and had to have inpatient treatment, I had an awful roommate and ended up having to live two weeks in my car, I was sexually harassed by a psychiatrist (I reported the incident, but I don't know what happened about it) and by several customers at the store I was working at, and I decided to quit my training to be a music therapist and came home. My computer also broke down several times. I made the right decision to come home and yet transitions are always hard. I'm trying to focus a lot more on my writing and my art and I will post a lot more here-I sincerely hope that at least one person finds this blog inspirational. I also hope that this can be a safe space for dialogue regarding tough issues.

About Me

I'm a fierce smashing-the-patriarchy Christian feminist spreading the word that hope is real for people with mental health and chronic pain challenges. I do NAMI In Our Own Voice presentations, endorse Dialectical Behavioral Therapy(DBT) and baking cupcakes. I am in recovery from borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and bipolar II. I work on managing my anxiety. I consider myself living in recovery, because mental illness and chronic pain no longer control my life.
If you would like me to speak to your organization about living in recovery from mental illness, please email me.