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Topic: What WAS this? (Read 4381 times)

What WAS this?

« on: April 18, 2012, 11:10:58 AM »

I know that we've talked about online relationships and things that happen, do they work or not, what to expect and not.. but this just blows my mind, maybe i'm foolish or whatever, but this really hurt me..

I met a guy online, i'm making a long story short and getting to the point of it all, anyway for months we'd talk for hours about anything and everything, we had a hell of alot in common, really had a good time and enjoyed him emensly, even got to the point where i depended on speaking with him when i got home from work, sometimes i wouldn't even go out just to stay home and talk with him, he was in intelligent, im talking encyclopedia intelligent, he was decent, respectful, kind, understanding, caring, alot of fun, extremely humorous, we talked about his family and the goings on.. he would send me alot of pictures of himself and videos too, i didn.t doubt this man, and gained alot of trust in him.. Well one day he started talking about his "personailty" explaining that he had one that was very strong, i'm thinking what am i missing, at the same time he sends me a nude provacative photo.. puts me in this uncomfortable spot of trying to get out the right words to comment, i finally say.."nice" but thats not what i really want to say..im beside myself thinking omg i hope this guy isn't some kind of weirdo, then think well whats so weird about a nude photo,then thought i didn't ask for it and this never came up in our conversations..then it comes out of him,he wanted some nude provacative photos of me, he elaborated on his personailty explaining is his smart tactful intelligent words that, women to him are nothing more then a piece of something to get his rocks off, if they can't provide that they are useless... i declined and he "deleted" me. Maybe it's so remote..but i wanted to cry.. i felt so bad..it hurt me..i mean we really laughed and cried together about things,complimented each other.. it felt very genuine in alot of the aspects of this relationship.. All those months wasted into a man that wasn't who he said and acted to be.. a man i really liked and was interested in even wanting to meet.. and who i thought was interested and liked me, who i thought about meeting and made plans.. actually cared about, but realizing he worked on finding out the kind of man i like.. made himself into someone or something i was looking for in a man, then tried to trap me in to this...

Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2012, 01:12:14 PM »

Even though you feel betrayed and that you wasted time, be thankful you saw his true colors before you wasted more time, or, met him in person. Sounds like he could turn out to be dangerous or at the very least, a lech.

Your description reminded me a bit of a child molestor. One who gains the trust of somebody before doing horrible things.

Hang in there... a guy who deserves you will come around.

PS: There are good and bad people on the internet. Some are true and kind and others hide behind a computer screen and put on a facade, just like in 'real life'. I'm leary of internet meetings but I know they can be successful. Don't let this jerk keep you from trusting others, just be on the alert of signs.

« Last Edit: April 18, 2012, 01:14:28 PM by gabby »

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Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2012, 01:35:40 PM »

I think they call it "grooming". You were groomed Imagin. So sorry but he had a plan from the start - to get nude pics of you. That much is clear from the fact that he deleted you when you wouldn't comply. Everything that had gone before was bs.

I'm so sorry - it sounds as though you are really hurting a lot. You will get over it and then you will wonder how you could have been so conned of your emotions.

B******!

blue

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Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2012, 02:10:36 PM »

Sorry that you were hurt by this weirdo Imagin. The one thing that is strange to me is that he would bother carrying on conversations and sharing information with you for months. He could go online and meet someone willing to send nude pics and God knows what else in minutes. Why would he waste months trying to get pics from someone. He must enjoy the game of making women trust him and then pulling some bs. He is sick and I'm glad you never met him. What a loser with nothing better to do. You don't give it another thought gurl.

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Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2012, 04:26:37 PM »

I have to agree. You got out of what could have been a VERY bad situation. I have never trusted online "Friends" and since I don't deal with FB, I don't have alot of problems. But for some people, it is a lifeline to the outside world and in some cases, helpful.

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"Today, most of the good people are afraid to be good. They strive to be broadminded and tolerant. It is fashionable to be tolerant but mostly tolerant of evil and this new code has reached the proportions of demanding intolerance of good."

Re: What WAS this?

Omg froggy you crack me up trying to put some humor in it all. He prolly was very small!

On a serious note for you my dear imagin i can tell by your written words that you are a heart broken. All i can say is thank God you got out before you hooked up with this idiot.

What i don't understand is out of no where he showed a completely different side of his personality. Do you think it was a way to maybe break it off because he himself was getting to serious and wanted to push you away?

You talked to him for months and it was not like it was a one night stand type of situation. If that is all he really wanted why would he wait so long to come out with it. More than the pic i think what is worse is how he degraded women as a whole. It seems like a deliberate attempt to push you away. If he was really just looking for a piece of you know what wouldn't he have been more debonair about it when he sent the pic?

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Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2012, 12:05:22 AM »

I think what took him so long is MAYBE he did care for me, and also he knew i'm conservative in nature, and my thoughts exactly why was this so sudden, he just sprung it on me,but i do beleive he meant it because he sent the nudes of himself, possibly he got tired of his sharade..and just as soon as i declined to send nudes, he was gone..i beleive he does have some girls he dates, maybe it's an ego thing or something.. i dont know.. I do feel bad, kind of like in the end of it all thats all i was good for, or me being me just wasn't good enough? But then again i think.. maybe he thought i thought he was'nt good enough for me.. still he put himself in that possition..

Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2012, 05:03:04 AM »

Imagin - he was grooming you. This is what they do and that is how they do it. They get your trust which can take months of being the nicest guy to talk to, the most understanding person in the world and the person you turn to if you have any troubles.

Never say you weren't good enough - you are far better than him by a very long way. You didn't ask for those pics and the fact that he deleted you because you wouldn't send him nude pics of yourself just goes to show what his ultimate goal was.

It makes me wonder how many girls/women have sent him pics of themselves. What does he do with them? Put them in a magazine or on a website....

He did you a favour by deleting you.

blue

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Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2012, 11:37:25 AM »

You're right blue and everyone, my feeings about sending nude photos to anyone over the internet is just... no, they could end up in places like a website or in the hands of some predator. I beleive anything sexual or intimate between two people should be live and in color, but in the days i used to hang out in Yahoo chat, there were girls by the dozens that didn't give a dern giving out nude photos even display themselves on cam, they didn't have to be manipulated, most were very young too. Why couldn't he of just went in to Yahoo chat and found someone that did this so easlily, rather than sha'rade himself so galantly and hurt someone with innocent intentions.

I know that porn is addicting, could it be he's not getting his fix and now he is after others that he forms a relationship with?

Re: What WAS this?

« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2012, 11:42:31 AM »

Chalk it up to a learning experience. The internet can be a brutual place. You arent alone with what happened to you but u have come out of it in 1 piece. Imagine having a really close online friend for around 9 years where u share everything with each other on the phone and instant messages then one day u get a call and the person says she has to go into hospice then u find out she died 2 days later at the age of 42. Its been 8 months now and I still miss Chrissy everyday.