A melange of crap for Pizza

We are but lowly plebians looking for dinner. We have no way of eating except for this crap we have assembled for the luckiest person. What we are looking for in return is just a cheese pizza, delivered to our house, delicious and hot, from anywhere near here. Please, we are giving away some things that mean a lot to us (namely the beer).Before responding to this add you've got to think, "Why on earth would I need with this stuff?" Let me tell you what is in store:

1 bottle of Bridgeport India Pale Ale. This ale is double fermented uncompromising natural ale with a robust tase. Excellent for just relaxing and sitting down for a good television show with one hand down your pants.

1 decorative pumkin perfect for holding any stash you like. Complete with fake leaves to give it that extra class that you deserve.

1 slightly used bottle of Kikkoman Naturally Brewed soy sauce. It was only bought yesterday and my god does it spice up a stir fry. It is even complete with a new pouring spout.

1 "kitty junping through a square" book end. It adorable and part of a set. Much like those tender best friend necklaces (one half stating be fri, the other st end) we will keep the other end to always remember the moments we had together.

1 acrylic gray bunny hand painted by someone we don't know. It was a great find at the Grand St. Goodwill. It has graced us long enough with its watchful eye and unwavering splendor.

1 heel of bread from a delicious sour dough loaf that was purchased at the neighborhood safeway. We have kept it covered for the last day, it is still fresh. You could certainly get a good 3 slices out of that.

1 "Wild Animus" novel (an advanced reading) by the great Rich Shapero. A delicious tale of how far on young man will go to find himself. It is hailed as a "adrenaline-charged adventure...a search for the primordial and a journey to the breaking point. It is a story of love and sacrifice, of obsession, of finding the limits of the heart and going one step further"

If this well thought out list does nothing to pique your interest, well you are just dead inside. But, if you act now we will thow in three more beers.

this is in or around Northeast

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests