WOAH: Penis Pumps Actually Work, Says Study

Feeling down about the size of your bulge? Forget everything you've heard about bogus penis enhancers and invest in a pump, because according to a review of existing research, some penile extenders actually work.

Urologists Marco Oderda and Paolo Gontero, from the University of Turin in Italy, examined 10 studies to find that non-invasive enhancers were actually more effective than surgical ones.

While the latter often resulted in dangerous complications, one study showed that the "traction method," which pulls the phallus, actually extended flaccid penises by 0.7 inches. Men who participated in another study involving this method saw increases of 0.67 inches while erect and 0.9 inches while flaccid.

Another study done on erectile dysfunction found that peno-scrotal rings actually boosted length and prolonged erection. Unfortunately, the sample size was too small to declare these findings a proper victory for penis enlargement.

While their research shows promise, Ordero and Gontero suggest that the problem lies in the psyche of men rather than in the size of their penises. While there are legitimate medical conditions that stunt penis size, the scientists said that most men affected by "short penis syndrome" actually have normal-sized members.

According to a study published in the Journal of Impotence, within a span of two years, 67 men with an average age of 27 entered a university hospital in Italy for their small penis size. None of these men were afflicted with conditions requiring medical care.

We can probably blame porn for making men overestimate the average penis size, which is 3.5 inches flaccid, 4.5 inches stretched, and 5.9 inches erect, says urologist Nicola Monaini. To qualify as someone suffering from a clinical definition of small penis syndrome, your member should be smaller than 1.9 inches when flaccid and less than 3 inches long when erect.

Plus, a British study spanning 50 years found that 85 percent of women were satisfied with their partner's size, while only 55 percent of men felt good about their equipment.

Participants experienced stretching for four to six hours each day for four months, for just 0.7 inches of growth. Men who reported 0.9 inches of growth only did so after undergoing the treatment for six months. Ouch.

If you ask us, guys are better off accepting that women don't expect them to look like porn stars.