The hunt for the elusive internship

Observe the female college student in her natural habitat. She sits, hunched and attentive, in front of her computer, her eyes glazed over and her wrists in danger of carpal tunnel as she furiously types and clicks. It is obvious she is not on a normal hunt. She seems especially agitated as she hunts this exceptionally elusive prey- the internship.

Though she has stalked prey that seem similar to the internship, prey such as college and job applications, they now seem like child’s play in comparison to the arduous and agonizing process of finding the internship.

Hunting the internship requires much sacrifice from the student. One of the most painful requirements of this chase is a ritual called the cover letter. It is astonishing how tedious and grueling one page of writing can be.

She takes a well-earned break to find sustenance. Caffeine is what this huntress craves, and she finds it in a large cup of coffee, an interesting commodity this species has become increasingly reliant on for survival.

Watch as the female clicks on yet another application from another company offering another internship. Notice how the student surprisingly doesn’t seem to care that the internship won’t pay her a cent for 30 hours of work a week and expects her to find housing in an expensive city. This seems cruel but it is a required ritual for her to perform in order to be accepted by her species.

Failure to succeed in catching the internship means failure to graduate for this multimedia student. Humiliated, the student would be forced to slink back home and live with her parents and find a job as a sales associate at a department store indefinitely.

Her morale visibly diminishes after days and weeks pass without any encouraging word. The summer months quickly approach, and with them, unemployment.

What’s this? An email from a possible employer?

Alas, this turns out to be false hope, bringing nothing but rejection. A painful blow to the mighty student.