Slavishly serving up nuggets of ridiculous bullshit, spewn forth from my horrendously polite and correct porcelain god from beyond the grave of the stars - Commodeus. Then, some cookies and punch. The blood and teeth flavored kind.If it isn't PAINFULLY obvious to you, Shit my Toilet Says deals with Parody, Dark/Sick Humor, and general Weird-Ass subject material. If you want to get all butthurt about it - please kindly GO FUCK YOURSELF. Consider this your TRIGGER WARNING.

We NEED to take his job away RIGHT NAO! He's evil and he's persecuting me by daring to have an opinion OTHER than mine, or one from my approved list of opinions!

He attacks me at night with all his evidence, and Birkenstocks... and Patchouli.

Wait... Patchouli - I THINK HE MIGHT BE A LESBIAN! GODDAMN TRICKY SODOM WHORE got a sex change while we weren't looking - and became a mildly attractive man that I lost my 60 y/o virginity to. ON A HAM SANDWICH!

Well, I say grab your pitchforks and get ready to decimate and ruin his life! BURN his house down! KICK his puppy through a flaming TV! RAPE his cat with a BRICK - EVIL HEATHEN CAT!! RRRRRR!!! It's probably GHEYYYYY!

TORTURE! PAIN! PERSECUTE! Because I'm being persecuted by this non-believer being able to live his life and hold down a job. Not to mention he knows more than I will ever hope to - I watched too much paint dry as a kid, and the fumes got to me!

Us Christianians HAVE to persecute everyone else, because if we don't - THEY START SAYING HAPPY HOLIDAYS AT MACY'S. IT'S OUR RIGHT!

Possible Shit To Go On About

DIYConspiracy - Free IlluminatiMason Bergerbuilder Lizard people stole my butt donut, and are using it to control the stock prices of Krispy Creme! FOR GREAT FALSE FLAG, INSIDE JOB TERROR!

Strictly 'Mershal - Advertise! Your FAKE products and services here! GOD HELP YOU if they are real!

Inferiority Complex - Why your superiors are suppressing your ultimate star dick from the women/men folk, and why you are superior to them.

Stalk U - Dating advice from the creepy.

Morality Mountain - God's God-fearing chosen few, destined to rule over all you sinful filthy peons. The TRULY moral live atop mountains - not ivory towers. Because ivory is the color of semen, and towers are phallic - which inspires sodomy.