ARMOUR & CO.

Turning dim into dollars Reality TV or not reality...

November 16, 2003|By Terry Armour.

Turning dim into dollars

Reality TV or not reality TV? That is the question. Surely, JESSICA SIMPSON can't be as ditzy as she appears on MTV's "Newlyweds" with hubby NICK LACHEY. Surely, she knows chicken fingers aren't the fingers of chickens, or that Chicken of the Sea is, um, tuna. Nobody could be that dim.

"It is a TV show and it is entertainment," Simpson told Armour & Co. when we caught up with her in town last week. "There is amazing editing that happens in the MTV control rooms. But it's nothing that I get offended about. I just look at it as my character and my role."

And the 23-year-old Simpson is parlaying that role into a lot of money.

Tommy Hilfiger is footing the bill for the current eight-city tour to promote her new album "In This Skin." Chicken of the Sea is interested in her (she might be the next mermaid on the side of the can). So are rivals Starkist and Bumblebee.

There's also talk about a Jessica Simpson clothing line. She's getting her own ABC sitcom. And "Newlyweds" has been picked up for a second season on MTV.

This girl is no dummy. "I play into it and I'm smart about it," Simpson said. "I'm definitely not dumb."

All that and modesty, too

NICK CANNON caused quite a stir when he popped into town a few days ago.

Extra security had to be called in to handle the tidal wave of screaming girls who tried to follow him out of the Ford City Shopping Mall. The same thing happened during a recent stop in Detroit. Apparently, this happens a lot. "I'm speechless when people start crying and screaming," the 23-year-old star of "Drumline" told Armour & Co. "Each time, you have to be like, `OK, this is real cool -- it's genuine. This person is genuinely losing their mind over me.'"

It's gonna get worse (or better). Cannon's self-titled album hits stores on Dec. 9 -- a few days before his next movie, the comedy "Love Don't Cost a Thing," hits theaters.

He also just wrapped shooting the set-in-Chicago flick "Shall We Dance?" with RICHARD GERE and JENNIFER LOPEZ. Oh, yeah: he's also doing standup and still has his own show on Nickelodeon. Is there anything he can't do? "I can't juggle," Cannon said.

No pain, no gain

We can think of a lot of people in the Bears organization folks might want to take a swing at (head coach DICK JAURON and offensive coordinator JOHN SHOOP pole vault to mind). But legendary running back GALE SAYERS (left) isn't one of them. Sayers will take part in the Celebrity Boxing Challenge on Saturday at the Trump Casino in Gary. "We're not out there trying to hurt one another," Sayers said of the event, which benefits the Better Boys Foundation. "But anytime you put the gloves on, you're going to get hit." Sorry Bear fans, no Jauron and Shoop. "It would be nice if we could have them over there with us," Sayers told us.

He's got Letterman beat in old-dad club

DAVID LETTERMAN keeps going on and on about being the world's oldest first-time dad. "He's 56," said SAM RAMEY. "I have him beat by a few years."

The 61-year-old Ramey, who through Dec. 20 is the bass-voiced Mephistopheles in the Lyric Opera of Chicago's production of Gounod's "Faust," had his first child in May -- SAMUEL GUY RAMEY -- with his second wife, 39-year-old LINDSEY LARSEN, a former Lyric Opera chorus member. "I really hadn't planned for it until I met [Lindsey]," Ramey said in his rumbling baritone. "She made it very clear to me from the beginning that she wanted children so I knew it was going to be a part of the mix, eventually."

Though Ramey can relate to Letterman's musings about being an older daddy, he told us fatherhood at his age is working out just fine. "He's been a good baby -- a good sleeper," Ramey said. "He normally just wakes up once in the night, wanting to be fed." Does he have pop's pipes? "Not yet," Ramey told Armour & Co. "We'll see what happens along those lines. He certainly hears a lot of singing, though."

SOUNDBITE

`It's the greedy bastard year, isn't it? I think the title is right in sync with the times.'

-- That's Monty Python's ERIC IDLE explaining to Armour & Co. how he came up with the title of his current Greedy Bastard Tour, which brings him to the Vic Theatre on Friday and Saturday.

HERE'S WHAT YOU TOLD US

The truth about Charlie

Maybe Charlie Brown isn't such a blockhead after all.

When it comes to holiday movies or specials, "A Charlie Brown Christmas," by far, remains tops among Armour & Co. readers. "My favorite part is when Linus gets on stage and tells the story of Christ's birth," wrote EVE PARKER, "and how that is the true meaning of Christmas."

LINDA MASTANDREA said her favorite part is the music, "which I actually listen to most of the year."

While JOE PLATT of Elmhurst says he's "still a sucker" for the Charlie Brown special, he's also found a new classic. "The `SpongeBob Squarepants Christmas Special' last year was pretty funny," he said.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

How much Jessica is enough?

She's on the cover of Rolling Stone. She has one hit show (MTV's "Newlyweds") and an ABC sitcom on the way. JESSICA SIMPSON has become Hollywood's latest "it" girl. "I'm trying to make all the right decisions and not shove myself down everybody's throat," she said. With her countless endorsement and merchandising possibilities (a line of greeting cards?), is Simpson bordering on overexposure, or should she strike while the iron is hot? E-mail tarmour@tribune.com