Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Bimbos and Rambhas...

Bimbo Bullock…?

Sandra Bullock happens to be one of Hollywood’s more intelligent and accomplished actresses. Audiences love her playing a tough cop or the female boss from hell.That has always been her positioning – “Bullock has ‘b@#*@s of steel”, declare her admirers in awe. It is true. Bullock has built her rock solid career on roles that emphasise her ‘macho’ appeal. So, if such a high profile star starts shouting from the rooftops that she “wants boobs” as she can’t wait to become a “sex object”, one should understand the irony built into the remark. Of course , she’s joking!! At least , one hopes she is! After Bullock went on and on about how disappointing it was that her brains were in her butt, and not in her boobs, she was asked about opting for silicon implants in order to rectify the problem. She gushed she was entirely open to the idea, and stated she was shopping around for enough silicon to qualify as a legit, honest to goodness bimbo with bumps in the right places. I thought it would end there. She’d made her point, and could we just get back to her next movie, please? Now comes a fresh set of quotes about Bullock’s liposuction fixation! When a journo asked her the secret of her toned body, she confessed it was “loads and loads of lipo.” Maybe she and her publicist have jointly decided it’s cool to talk down on the subject and make a monumental joke out of the current obsession for the Body Beautiful. But you know what, Ms. Bullock? These sort of send- ups tend to bite back. Fans take star quotes at face value and may not possess the requisite intelligence\sense of humour to laugh over these clever remarks. Unless of course Sandra is not jesting in the first place! Oh dear! In our own context, our sense of humour is distinctly different. I watched ‘Quick Gun Murugan’ and realized I was the only person in a largely empty cinema hall who was laughing at Mango Dolly’s double entendres. Mango Dolly is played by the luscious Rambha in a Dolly Parton-style blond wig ( cleavage to match). Since the entire movie is a spoof ( not that funny, alas!), Rambha’s cheesy lines as she tries to seduce the hero, come off sounding slightly ridiculous instead of tongue-in-cheek. Our audiences cannot handle this sort of broad comedy, especiallycoming from a woman mouthing wicked lines. Rambha fell flat on her face along with the rest of the cast. Why? Her gangster’s moll portrayal played against the stereotype. The big difference between a Rakhi Sawant declaring her ( plastic) assets in print and a Sandra Bullock lamenting the absence of hers, is not the same thing. Rakhi’s silicon boosters are used blatantly to further objectify her sex appeal. Sandra mocks society’s pathetic hang -up on women’s bodies.Two dramatically opposed ends of the spectrum.

A couple of years earlier, our trusting fans were brainwashed by Kareena Kapoor into turning their backs on normal figures and embracing Size Zero . They were successfully deprogrammed and weaned away from their earlier fascination with the heroines’ generous curves. Bollywood depended heavily on padded bras before the advent of silicon. And no matter how generously endowed the leading lady may have been, it was mandatory to fill her brassiere with enough cotton wool to stuff a sofa. We loved our super voluptuous apsaras, and any woman under Size 12, was considered anorexic, even consumptive. When a producer said he wanted his heroine to look ‘healthy’, it meant just one thing – and the costume department swiftly got the message – pump up the bra. Today, our leading ladies give countless interviews on drastic weight loss programmes constructed by personal trainers so as to conform to the latest Gay director’s notion of a desirable female form (strictly no curves!). Poor Rani Mukherjee is resembling a dehydrated prune in her new release all because of that bloody diet she was put onto. We want our curves back – cellulite and all! We want the old fashioned ‘healthy’ heroine running around trees with body parts jiggling in time with her wriggling. To hell with Size Zero. Thank you, Sandra Bullock for providing a much needed debate on the subject. Rambha rocks, I say. Mind it!

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Okay guys. I am going to love you and leave you. I am off to Jo'Burg tonite, though why I'm flying Qatar Air to go to South Africa completely beats me!! I love the theme of the Lit Fest - it's called 'Words over Water', and apart from readings, interviews and other such 'literary' events spread across universities in Durban and Capetown, there will be music, dance and cinema, too. I'm greatly looking forward to meeting other writers, particularly those from South Africa. My laptop stays home. So, that makes me incommunicado till the 17th or 18th. But I have a feeling I won't be able to stay away from this space for such a long time. If you do hear from me, consider it a bonus - for me! But before I bid adieu, dear Blogdosts, here's a tip - check out the September issue of 'Savvy'. You may - ahem- recognise the cover girl.... and be interested in her story. Hint: Her name begins with an 'S'. Ha ha.... yenjoy!

Oh... one more thing. I'll be posting again, later tonight. The Mumbai Marathon will soon be upon us (17th Jan 2010). I 'd bravely attempted the Dream Run a couple of years ago for 'CHILDLINE' - an NGO that is doing exemplary work in the area of child protection. Please help me break a few records this time!! Not speed. Funds ! More in the next post. I've spoken to Shahid Kapur this morning and requested him to run for us. Dil Boley Hadippa..... I hope I got that right!

hey...will definitely miss ur absence, but u hav a good time ther in jo'burg...

well this craze for lipo , implants n all have taken the women in a frenzy for sure... Indian women are known to be curvy n voluptuous, so why the craze for a size zero leaves me dumbstruck.. as far as i knw, men love the curves.. haha...newys hav a good trip n yeah do post ur views on our govt. promotin austerity - tharoor n krishna..Take Care.luv,sumona.

I am not sure why I am sharing this wth u .. have u ever read amitabh’s blog and his EF comments ewwwww It wl b some fun to read ur views on those regressive EFs that Amitabh feels so proud of… is he so naive that he ignores the stupid comments or is he one of them ? and now he is doing big boss godddddd gvng that a philosophical turn ..yeah right.. rakhi is not usual rakhi in Dil bole as she knows she cant be cheapo...she looks scared n scary in the promos lol

I know I will be hugely unpopular for saying this but give size zero a break please! There are some of us(ME) who are that size try our darndest to gain weight (yes yes yes) & I can't for the life of me manage it. I eat everything (all the so called wrong foods) don't exercise but am seriously skinny. Its no fun when you can't get pants that fit your waist. Would love some curves any ideas please....? Golly I am so going to be in the firing line for saying this but its the truth the whole truth & nothing but!

S M Krishna was the best CM of Karnataka during whose regime jiant companies like Infosys, Wipro etc took shape & grew astonishingly, making USA get goose pimples at the word 'Bangalore'.The congress never projected him as the chief Ministerial candidate after that. umhm..they don't want a man who wouldn't allow anybody to 'earn' anything extra !Please understand that a corrupt man is always protected by tooth & nail. He is precious. All his nefarious activities are covered up. But in politics, an honest man is never forgiven. They will be waiting for a chance to humiliate & embarrass him.This 'austere move' is bull. There is no such thing in politics. They are all here to make a quick buck.Rs 7250000000000000 of Indian money is lying in Swiss bank ! That much for austerety !

Loved the post!Well I am from Chennai, and down south, we like our ladies 'Healthy' and the very purpose of the heroine (in most movies) is the jiggling with the wriggling!I love Rakhi too, she makes for interesting blog posts!

As for models, Curves are for hair now just as Stick is for figure. anorexia is in... I wonder how people fall for bimbos who could fall any moment.

Wonder why so much is the obsession with the B and B(Boob and booty or you cud also say BUNty and BUBBli )

All the mehboobaas of Tinsel Town are obsessed with their Boobas!

Be it the Bosom blossom of our CM candidate Rakhi or our Endangered and NearlyExtinct looks our PMS candidate Rani Mukherjee... The Kamar and the curve is getting redefined.

Remember the madhuri of the late 90s and the Sridevi of the early 90s. They were ethereal beauties!

Regarding Rambha! Ohh Kya Boley. She is just a good student of physics and demonstrates newtons laws of motion in whichever film she acts. Newton said "every particle continues in its state of rest or uniform motion, unless acted upon by some external force"

Rambha's B and B keep oscillating in uniform motion even after she has stopped moving them.

U proposed Rakhi for CM. I propose Rambha for Nobel Prize in Physics I say.

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