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Listen, Donald Trump doesn’t seem to want to actually lead a bipartisan symposium about gun control on SNL this week. He’s distracted — his “hot” colleague Hope Hicks is gone. Wakanda has flying cars and is laughing at our country’s technological status. Jeff Sessions is shit-talking him at Department and Justice dinners! So he needs to have some fun, and that fun has taken the form of touching Mike Pence all around his hands. “Look, it makes him so uncomfortable, he hates this,” Trump explains with a gentle caress. “He’s worried this is a gateway touch.” What would Mother think?