Saturday, January 24, 2009

I have a 15 year old daughter. That is a sometimes frightening statement! In today's society any parent raising teen should have some concerns, questions or fears. I have a pretty open relationship with my children. I pray that she knows she can always talk to me about anything. She has a plethora of resources if she wants to talk. Me, grandmother, aunt & uncle, cousins and of course older siblings. I hope she reaches out to someone whenever she feels the need!Today to many of our youth do not have anyone to talk to. No one to look up to, no one praying and interceding for them. Every child should have someone to reach out to.Today's society is over run by garbage, and lies and a lot of it comes from TV, radio, movies, and so called friends. A big percentage of the songs our kids listen to is about money, drugs and having sex. I do not listen to garbage radio but I have 5 children so I am pretty much current with songs that go out across the airwaves. Every now and then a song comes out that has a point, a moral, a purpose and the kids will listen to it. One such song is S.E.X by singer Lyfe Jennings. Sometimes parents will hear part of a song and automatically judge the song without having had listened to all of the words. Sometimes parents discredit EVERYTHING about the younger culture. But there are some things out there that have a positive purpose.

Read the words of this song and then weigh in with your opinions.

S.E.X. - Lyfe Jennings (featuring LaLa)

[Intro:]Hey yo you,You see most cats would take advantage of you right nowBut I aint gon do that, you heardImma give you the game, rightImma give it to you becauseI dont want somebody to give my little girl the gameSo she could find her s.e.x.

[Verse 1:]Life's a tripHeard you just turn 17 and finally got some hipsHustlers on the block go crazy when you lick your lipsBut they just want relations, they dont want relationships(Welcome to the real world)It aint the sameFellas old enough to be your daddy know your nameEverybody's talkin bout how much that girl dun changedCant quite put your finger on it but you feel it's strangeLike's it's fire in your vains

[Chorus:]Girl it's just your s.e.x.Momma's secretAnd daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found herS.e.x., take a deep breathAnd think before you let it go

[Verse 2:]The block is packedBaby got an additude and proud to holla backMomma's giving advice but she aint tryna hear thatNot because its wrong, just her delivery is wack(Shay, get your butt in this house, if I see you with another boy, I swear..)Life is roughYou say that your not ready for sex but you're in loveHe says if you really loved him, you would give it upMomma says thats just a line guys use to get you're stuffWhich one will you trust?

[Chorus:]Girl it's just your s.e.x.Momma's secretAnd daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found herS.e.x., take a deep breathAnd think before you let it go

[Verse 3:]Hey yo Lyfe,She might take it better coming from a woman (get 'em girl)See, he'll tell you all kind of things to get in your pants, yeahBaby, it's a fact that once it's gone, you'll never get it back (never get it back)Hold on to your innocenceUse your common sense (your worth waiting for)Be strongHoney, dont give in, blessings come with patienceTill we meet again, im praying for you

[Chorus:]Girl it's just your s.e.x.Momma's secretAnd daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found herS.e.x., take a deep breathAnd think before you let it go

13
People Saying Something!

I'm so glad that you posted this. Yes I am in the younger generation and I do feel that alot of more experienced adults think we are naive. Thank for posting the song. It is a true message. I've experienced a lot for a 22 year old and I realize that we have people to talk to, but sometimes people act like some subjects are just too taboo.

Ms. Regina - You know I know what this is...I am real with my son...sometimes I think I scare him because I am so real! And like your daughter, he also has a village of folks to turn to when he needs someone other than me or his dad to talk to...I pray that he uses those resources.

Nothing is taboo in my house...because if he doesn't hear the facts from me, he may get some bulls*** from somewhere else.

@ Prodigy - So sad but very true, a lot of older adults are not free enough or honest enough with themselves to talk freely to others about real life issues. For some odd reason adults act as if they never made mistakes or did anything wrong. We do desire the best for the younger generation and wish that the younger folk would listen to us (we have been there and done ALL of that!!) but when it comes to real life some have the tendency to shut down. There are a few of the older generation who don't mind open and honest dialogue. My children and I discuss EVERYTHING from politics to sex to music and anything in between. I wasn't always saved, and I can still keep it real!I am fortunate enough to have children that I can talk to about real life issues and I just pray that they truly listen and learn. They keep me grounded and I in turn give them knowledge. With kids ages 23, 22, 19, 18 & 15, you can imagine the kind of dialogue that goes on around here!! My kids trust me enough to even suggest that their friends with issues talk to me. That is a HUGE honor!I hope some of the older generation reads this post and gets real, get enlightened and have some real discussions with the younger generation.Blessings!

@ Marvalus - I know you keep it real with your baby!! You and I are very alike in many ways! And you are right, I would rather my kids get the low, down and dirty truth from me than some fool on the street! My kids will tell you I don't mind saying what the real deal is! Your son will definitely thank you for it one day! "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6!!

If they won't listen to their parents, then hopefully they'll find other good role models, like this one. I'm constantly frustrated by popular media and its influence and so scared for my daughter(s) and what course they'll take. It's good to know that it's not ALL bad out there. Great lyrics! Thanks for sharing.

I do not envy you Regina. My daughter will be 21 in July and is in her senior year of college. We've been living coast-to-coast for three years now and I'm just now getting used to the fact that she makes good decisions for herself and feels free to tell me anything. She called me at 2:00 a.m. this morning to review some Black Student Union issues they were working on...she calls for everything thank God...It's so hard with the girls, you just feel like you have to protect them from societies evils that come in many shapes and forms.

No matter how solid a foundation you know that you've given them, the reality that the world can be a lethal place, especially with regard to sex, is most daunting.

Your concerns are valid, the society that we live in can be all consuming on our youth.

@ Mike - and we know what can happen if youth rely on the trial & error philosophy of life...

@ Amy - The sad part is that all the good stuff appears to be buried under tons of garbage! The old saying is true "It Takes A Village To Raise A Child". As parents we can't do it all alone, we need good teachers, role models, etc to help build up our kids!

@ Oyin - I didn't know you had a 15 year old daughter! It is harder raising girls. You have to stay on top of your game with them!

@ Sheila - LOL! I also have a daughter in another state who likes to call me at 2am! But better a 2 am call then no call. It is hard to realize they can get through on their own. Today's society is lethal. Lord knows my prayer life has increased!

@ Dr.T - I think I recall you posting about your son and sex! It is awesome to see a father, especially a black father so invested in his son's life. I commend you for what you do, because it isn't easy!

Great post. Definitely leave the lines of communication open. Also, while having "the talk" in regards to this song, don't forget to bring up the other talk re: violence and being careful who you surround yourself with. The girl in this song & video (Yolanda "La La" Brown) was murdered along with her producer boyfriend in 2007.

you know what regina my teacher told it to us already i was just so disappointed that todays generation teens are getting more and more liberated and didnt think how serious the sex was they should have know that it always followed by responsibility by the way regina i have something for you in my blog i hope you like it

I like the message, and it's true. Having a daughter and being a woman, I'll dish it out real to her when she's age appropriate. Still, remembering that everybody makes their own decisions, including kids! As parents, our responsibility is not to control, but to bring up the topics and communicate.

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