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So, you know that point in reconciliation where the WS gets all paranoid that you are going to have an RA and starts doing things like reading your SI posts and/or PMs? And then has the nerve to try issue YOU a boundaries lecture? Even though you have nothing to hide and keep yourself logged in to SI at all times on the common family computer?

This is extra hilarious when your WS has their own SI username that they've used....mmmm....let's say twice, but chooses to creep via yours instead. I know this is something somewhat common, but man....

Is there a reason why she is all of the sudden feeling insecure about things?

Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5446 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az

deena04♀ 41741Member # 41741

Posted: 8:15 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014

Ah, insecurity over their own deeds! That is what it looks like to me anyhow.

Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Figuring it out?!?!

Posts: 1483 | Registered: Dec 2013

MovingUpward♂ 14866Member # 14866

Posted: 9:51 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014

I know your post shows irony, and you got to get that out. Unfortunately I feel this kind of posting can regress your reconciliation efforts. When I am lucky enough to meet the members face to face, I often get a better idea of who they are. I really hope that when I met you and your W that it wasn't a charade (Which I don't think it was) because my gut was telling me that you two have a great shot at reconciling.

So kudos to you for being open with your postings and PMs. Hopefully you can encourage her to open up and dig down to what might be driving this fear. Communication is a key. Validation is a key. Patience is a key. Listening is a key. As well as Compassion is a key. For either one of you has the sole power to derail R. It will take the two of you working together to make R succeed.

AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 53984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation

Ascendant♂ 38303Member # 38303

Posted: 10:02 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014

Thanks to everyone who read my little sarcastic vent. After reading Moo's advice, I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately. Thanks to all.

Posts: 2863 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: #WindyCity

sisoon♂ 31240Member # 31240

Posted: 8:52 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014

Some random thoughts...

I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately.