My oldest used to have a difficult time around the holidays. It was all too much for her to take in, and she didn’t know how to tell me what it was that caused her to act so unlike herself.

On day when she was four, I took her for a mommy-daughter date to do some Christmas shopping for her dad and sister. Things seemed to be going well. We had chosen items as possible gifts, and she was about to choose which ones were the keepers. We were talking and giggling, and I thought we were having an enjoyable time together.

Everywhere we look nowadays, children are being diagnosed and labeled with disorders based on their behavior, with acronyms being placed near their names. “Johnny has ADD, that’s why he can’t sit still.” “Sherry has RAD and that’s why she can’t attach to us.” “Vinny is on the (autism) spectrum.” But how does it help to label our children?

It seems that sleep-deprived parents are given two choices: cry- it-out or just wait until they outgrow it. But is there another way? Was my son’s lack of sleep more than just an inconvenience? Was he trying to communicate something to me through his night waking?

What do our children really need to be emotionally healthy and to feel nurtured in our relationship with them? Play is one of six things discussed in Rebecca’s upcoming book that we can do to nurture connection with our children (and our friends and partner, too).

I was exhausted. Everyone had been going on high speed. Lots of emotional issues had been coming up for each of us. Throw in some financial concerns, end of the school year for three family members, traveling across the country for my brother’s (really fun and amazing) wedding, along with my book release, and it was a way past time for a little break.

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