And Now For Something Completely Different.

Jealousy, lust, revenge, pain, anger, hatred. After all, "all is fair in love and war". This is a story of the bad side of love. There are happy moments but as is usual in life, they are fleeting. This is my story of why sometimes there can be no happy ending.

My name is Kara Williams. I am one month from turning eighteen, however my alcoholism already beats that of most people twice my age. Add to that my smoking and dope addiction and you have a pretty good picture of the angelic child I claim to be. The fact that I dye my hair red does not really help either. Although my blue eyes add an innocence to my appearance that makes it almost believable. I find it amusing that right now you will be steriotyping me, thinking I am a horrible person but look a little closer and you will find that you were wrong.

It all started two years ago. I would hate to say "love at first sight" but his stark brown eyes and awkward smile were too much to resist. Chris just had something about him that I would never be able to get over, trust me I have been trying for two years. I had gone in town with my best friend, skinny, hot Blaire who I always felt ugly beside while he was in town his friends Ross Macleod and David, who happened to be Blaire's sister. We all met up in the middle of town and so went for a walk together. However like I said this is not a conventional love story. Turns out Chris had a girlfriend but she lived away. Still at the age of fifteen I was a lot purer than I am now and would never dream of doing anything with a guy who had a girlfriend so we just talked and walked. I had ran out of fags that day so as soon as he took a packet out and said yes when I asked for one my heart melted. We had both seen each other around before and were surprised that each other smoked as we came off as such innocent people, I suppose then we were or at least ignorant for we had no idea what the future had in stall for us. David soon disappeared as people are prone to do. So the four of us continued to walk and talk. Blaire and Ross had an interesting relationship- they both liked each other but they kept playing games. Their current game was Ross' girlfriend who happened to be an old friend of Blaire's. We sat on benches in the park- Chris and I on one, the other two on another. I could feel his lust for me but there was nothing we could do but sit and talk. One of my favourite games is to see what I can make others do against their will so I eventually convinced him to sing with me. We sat singing, side by side with sparks flying but unfortunatley keeping our distance. That night I stayed at Blaire's dreaming of a guy I thought I could never have. It is strange but I always want what I can not have.

I suppose I was wrong when I said the story started there. A couple of months before I had lost my virginity due to a bet on a guy I did not care about but had found myself in a relationship with. At just fifteen and a half I had sex for the first time under a tree in the middle of a forest. I felt nothing- no pain, no joy, just relief when it finally ended and yet more relief when the relationship finally ended one month later.

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