Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2003 20:52:43 -0600
From: Cameron Writer
Subject: A Light in the Tunnel chapter 13
Boo for electrical surges that short out computers! Hooray for tax refund
checks that buy new computers! Yes, that's right, some stupid writer was
putting the finishing touches on chapter 13 of his story during a storm, and
then ZAP! Nothing. But Lady Luck has been smiling, and the government has
given him enough money to upgrade to a better system! Hooray!!! And who says
the government never does anything nice for the little guy?
I also want to acknowledge the war many men and women are fighting in the
Middle East. There are varying opinions as to why they are there, but I'm
sure we all are praying for their quick and safe return. These are not just
soldiers doing their jobs, but someone's father, mother, brother, sister,
son, or daughter. We should also keep those who have lost loved ones in our
thoughts.
Many writers like to make the thirteenth chapter of their stories full of
bad luck, but I'm resisting the temptation. Besides, 13 is my lucky number,
so maybe it will be Burke's as well!
As always, I do not personally know NSYNC, anyone affiliated with them, or
any other celebrities that may appear within these pages. I have no clue
about their true sexual orientations/habits or personalities. This is a
complete work of fiction spawned by my often warped mind. If you are
offended by a story featuring relationships between men, or are not old
enough to read such things, please go elsewhere. Disney has a nice site! LOL
A Light in the Tunnel
Chapter 13
Though he didn't really expect them, Burke saw no fireworks and heard no
music as Josh's lips caressed his own, the man's unshaved chin rubbing
against his smooth face. Josh's thumb slowly stroked Burke's cheek, running
lightly over the bone beneath his closed eye. Leaning closer, Burke's hand
reached out, landing on the tight muscles of Josh lower back, kneading and
petting the knots there. With a soft gasp, the boy's mouth opened, Josh's
tongue snaking past his teeth.
A disappointed moan marking the end of the kiss, Burke's eyes drifted open,
realization of where he was, who he was with, and what he was just doing
slamming like a freight train into his cloudy mind. He quickly scanned the
area, looking for someone who might be staring or snapping pictures of them.
He almost wanted to pull away as Josh took his hand, lifted it upward, and
politely kissed the back. Burke wasn't sure how to respond to such
tenderness, and blushed, ashamed of his naivete. "What's the red for?" Josh
whispered.
"I--I'm a little out of my element right now." The man's head tilted in a
classic pose of confusion, the cords in his neck standing out. "I mean, that
was my first kiss. Ever."
"How was it?"
"I'm not really sure. I don't have anything to compare it to." Burke's
tongue darted over his bottom lip, still tasting Josh there. He wanted to
ask something else, but didn't want to sound like a little kid.
As if reading Burke's mind, Josh answered the unspoken question. "You did
perfect." They stared at each other in shy silence for a few moments.
"C'mon, let's get out of here. I want to do something."
A city that thrived on and cherished the tourists, Josh easily found what
he was looking for at a nearby strip mall. Burke tried to drag his feet, but
found it hard to refuse his new boyfriend, relenting. They ducked into the
instant photo booth, pulled the curtain shut, and posed for the camera after
Josh fed the machine some money. As the warning light flashed for the third
picture, Josh poked Burke's cheek. The boy turned to look at him, and was
grabbed into another kiss, the shutter clicking. Their mouths were still
pressed together for the next photo, then they broke apart. Once their
session was over, they waited impatiently for the strip of black and white
pictures to be spit out. Their heads bumped together, causing chuckles, as
they examined the paper. Josh diplomatically tore it in half, handing Burke
three of them and keeping the others for himself. "Now we will always have
something to remember this night by."
"Chris will flip if sees a picture of us kissing in a public photo booth,"
Burke giggled, half contemplating showing his father.
Josh grinned, obviously proud about something. "Nope! I asked him about us
becoming serious the other day, and he gave his permission. He won't care."
"Josh! You asked my dad if it was alright for us to be boyfriends? That's
so crazy! I'm seventeen, after all."
"I know. I just didn't want to get you in trouble. I saved you the
embarrassment of telling him yourself." Burke's heart melted at the thought
of Josh trying to keep him at ease. "We better get going. Your curfew is
getting close."
Coursing through the brightly lit Orlando streets, Burke's attention was
not on traffic or the passing scenery, but on the man at his side. He found
it hard not to stare at Josh, the way the yellow street lights turned his
eyes an eerie shade of green, or the dark hallows formed beneath his high
cheekbones. As the made their way back to his house, Burke reached across
the gap between their seats, his fingers nestling among Josh's. They shared
a quick smile as the jeep passed through the gate signaling their evening's
end was near. Josh's arm wound around Burke's narrow waist as they ambled up
the sidewalk, their bodies pressing close as if trying to keep warm. The
porch light was already on, meaning that Chris wasn't going to interrupt
them, or that he wasn't going to give them any warning. "Well," he sighed,
"I guess this is it." Remembering something had read in the Bible years
earlier, Burke wished God would stop the clock like he stopped the sun for
Joshua.
Josh frowned. "Yeah. It's over too soon, isn't it?"
"I've had a great time, Josh. I always do." He saw a playful glint in the
man's amazingly blue eyes. "What? I *do* have a great time when we're out."
"I'm glad. I do too. But I was just thinking about how tonight blows the
rest away."
"Definitely," he smiled, his lips tingling at the thought of their first
kiss and the ones that followed. "But now I have to call Justin in the
morning."
"Why's that?"
"To gossip about you," Burke replied matter-of-factly. "He would torture me
otherwise."
"Well then, we can't have that. There will be no torturing of my
boyfriend." Burke's eyes misted for a moment or two, trying to wipe them
away before Josh saw it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. Are you
alright?"
"Yeah, Josh. Just happy."
There was a thoughtful look in the boy's eyes, and it intrigued him. "Tell
me what you're thinking about, Burke." He shook his head. "Come on. I
promise I won't make fun of you or anything."
"It's just that I used to imagine something like this, you and me, when I
was feeling depressed and alone. There wasn't anyone I could turn to, no one
that I felt safe with, so I used to think about having you to talk to and
stand by, and I felt a little better about everything. Now, here you are,
right in front of me, and it's like a dream come true or something. I know
it's silly, but--"
The singer grabbed his friend, yanking him into a voracious hug. "It's not
silly, Burke. I can't erase everything that's happened to you, I wish I
could, but I promise, you'll never be alone again. You'll always have me and
the rest of the guys. We're your family. You understand?" Burke nodded
against his shoulder. "Good. Since we have to call it a night, I say we do
it on a high note." A finger sliding beneath his chin, Josh tilted Burke's
head up so that they were looking at each other, blue eyes locking onto
gray. "Good night, Burke," he whispered just before their lips touched.
Though it was much more chaste than the ones they had shared earlier, the
kiss made Burke go weak in the knees, his arms wrapping around Josh's neck.
Goosebumps shivered down his back as the man's fingers raked tenderly
through his hair. Cold emptiness filled him as Josh stepped back. "Night,
Burke. Talk to you later?"
"You better," he sighed as Josh sulked toward the jeep. "Good night, Josh."
Burke stood on the front steps until the taillights faded from his sight,
then went inside. He leaned against the door for a moment, relishing the
sensations running through his body, his nose twitching at the light,
lingering scent of Josh's now familiar cologne.
"It's five after eleven," Chris called from the living room. Smiling, Burke
went to see his father. Chris was laying on one of the couches, sitting up
when Burke walked through the doorway. "Your late."
"We were here on time, and you know it," he giggled. "I wouldn't be the
least bit surprised if you were watching from the window."
"Of course I wasn't. Have a good time?"
Burke blushed, every event of the date emblazoned in his mind. "Of course."
"If the interesting shade of red your skin just turned is any indication, I
would have to agree with you. What kind of souvenirs did you snag this
time?"
Burke pulled the flattened popcorn box from his jacket pocket. "I knew I
shouldn't have told you about that." He almost reached for the pictures, but
thought better of it at the last second. "Dad, Josh said he had a talk with
you the other day."
Chris patted the cushion next to him, Burke happily snuggling up to his
father. "Yes, we did. He wanted to talk to me about how your relationship
would progress while we were on tour. I know from experience what it's like,
and I'm glad to see that he is thinking that far ahead. I want to talk to
you about it too. Josh has probably said that there won't be a lot of
opportunities for you all to go out and do things, but that's just part of
it. You know how much we've seen of each other while recording, and it's
almost that bad while on the road. There is bus time, but a lot of that is
spent sleeping. I just want you to know what you are getting into if you
decide to get serious."
Burke nodded, thinking about what it would be like. "It'll be rough
compared to how it is here at home, but I really like Josh, dad. I want to
give it a try, and I know he does too. Tonight he asked me if I would be his
boyfriend."
"And what did you say?"
"I told him hell no," Burke replied sarcastically. "I mean, really. Doesn't
anyone realize Justin and I have been sleeping together since I got here?"
Chris snickered and thumped Burke on the head. "Smart ass!"
"That's what you get for asking stupid questions. Of course I told him
yes."
"I'm happy for you, son. Josh is a good man. It's been a long day. Why
don't we call it a night?" Burke nodded, stood up, the bent to kiss Chris on
the cheek, their normal bedtime ritual. Making a face, Chris swiped at his
skin, rubbing his fingers together. "Have your lips been dry?"
"No, why?"
"Lip balm." Burke's face paled before burning hotly. "Ah! That explains why
your lips were red when you came in! Have a seat." Expecting a lecture,
Burke meekly sat back down. "First of all, take that scared look off your
face. I told you it was alright. Secondly--how was it?"
"Good. Great. Amazing."
"Ok. We don't have to have a conversation about personal limits, do we?"
"We kissed, dad. We've been going on dates for the past month and we've
just reached that point. I think it's going to be a while until anything
else comes up."
"I was just making sure. Now, I know Josh pretty good, so I bet he did
something so you will both remember tonight." Burke grabbed the half strip
of pictures and passed them over. "These are really good. You two make a
nice couple. I like this one the best." He expected Chris to be making a
joke about the one with them kissing, but instead found him pointing to a
different one. Josh was behind him, his toned arms around his stomach, and
their heads side by side. Burke smiled, thinking it was just like the one
that was taken on their first date, the one he had in a frame on his
nightstand. "Bedtime, Burkey boy."
"Goodnight, dad. Love you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days before they were due to leave, Burke was relaxing. His mind had
been racing as he imagined all the things that would happen while on tour
with the guys; all the places they would go, people he might meet. He had
gone to the mall and bought a United States map, ready to track their
progress through the country, little gold stars ready to mark each stop. As
a joke about writing a travel book, Joey had bought him a special binder to
rate each hotel and restaurant with. Burke was going through the whole
process rather methodically, carefully planning which outfits he would pack,
which books to take for the long drives between cities, or how many rolls of
film to pack for his camera. Despite the many warnings he had received from
his friends about life on the bus, Burke was excited about it, picturing an
awesome two month road trip.
His logical side burnt out and craving a break, Burke sat on the back
porch, scribbling in a notebook. As usual when he was stressed, he hummed, a
random tune coming out while he jotted down a poem. Quickly, as it had been
doing over the past few days, his thoughts drifted to Josh and the feelings
he had for him. He bumbled like an idiot every time he tried to say what he
was thinking and feeling, but the words came effortlessly as he wrote. "Hey
bro, was going on?"
Shielding his eyes from the sun, Burke looked up. "Hey Jus. Just goofing
around, writing some junk."
"Can I see, or is it personal?" They were all careful to ask before butting
into Burke space, wanting him to have as much privacy as they wanted for
themselves. Burke handed him the notebook. Reading quickly, Justin smiled.
"This would make a perfect song! Can I play around with it?"
Burke rolled his eyes, wondering how many perfect songs his friend and
brother could come up with in a week's time. The last "perfect" song had
been inspired by a hot dog, so he didn't have high hopes for this one. "Go
ahead."
"Is this about JC?" Burke nodded. "I thought so. When you are writing about
someone you care for, it has more emotions."
"What's going on with you?"
"Oh, I was packing some stuff for the tour, and needed something that I
left over here. I was about to leave, but I saw you sitting out here and
decided to bother for a minute." Justin tore the poem out, folded it, and
stuffed the paper in his back pocket. "But I guess I should get home. Oh,"
the tall blond leaned over and pecked Burke on the forehead. "From mom. Talk
to you later, Burke."
"See ya later, Just," Burke said, waving from the front door as the little
red Miata spun out of the driveway. Noticing the strangely low humidity, he
went inside long enough to put some shoes on and take his cell phone off its
charger. "Dad," he hollered, "I'm going for a walk. I have my phone with
me."
"Alright. Don't be gone long, and be careful," Chris yelled back from the
office. The man had been spending long hours there, finalizing business
things before they left for the tour.
Burke slipped his sunglasses onto his face as he started down the sidewalk,
strolling along with no real destination in mind. Nosy bids squawked in the
trees overhead, adding sour notes to the tune he whistled. Passing by a
house, Burke quickly stopped an errantly bouncing ball, not wanting the
little girl that followed to run out in the street. She smiled sweetly as he
gave it back and continued on his way. The sky was cloudless, almost the
color of Josh's eyes when he laughed. Giggling softly, he stopped at another
house, bending to smell a bush of deep red roses. "Hello there!" a little
old lady said, popping up from behind the dense plant and startling the
unsuspecting boy.
"Hello. I was just admiring your roses."
She gently fluffed a few blossoms. "They are really lovely this year."
Pulling a pair of small scissors from the apron around her waist, she
snipped off a bloom. "Here you are."
"Thank you ma'am. They really are beautiful." Though he was positive it
would look silly, he tucked the stem beneath his watch band. "Have a
wonderful day."
"You too, young man, you too."
Burke left their heavily landscaped community, crossed the busy street, and
went into a gas station, grabbing a bottle of water. He briefly considered
getting a candy bar as well, but decided against it. Standing at the counter
to pay, he heard the door's chime ring. He stiffened as something hard was
pressed into the small of his back. "You're coming with me," a familiar, icy
voice whispered in his ear. "If you're smart, you won't make a scene."
"Yes, mother," he replied, trying to stay calm. He wasn't sure what she had
in her hand, but he wasn't going to risk it being a gun. Water in hand, he
was guided outside and into a rented station wagon. Beverly quickly climbed
into the driver's seat. "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking you home. Where you belong." As if were a small handbag, she
calmly laid a pistol in her lap.
"And you need a gun to do that?"
She glared at him. "Watch your mouth, you stupid brat! You know better than
to speak to me like that."
Though he was afraid of what his mother might do, he was more afraid of
never seeing the guys again, of being ripped away from the family he loved.
"You're insane! You know that, don't you?"
Faster than he could blink, Beverly's hand shot out, smacking him across
the cheek. "Darn it, Burke! Look what you made me do! I told you to watch
your mouth. Why can't you just be a good kid for once?" Wincing in pain, her
ring slashing across his skin, Burke worked hard to keep from crying.
"You've gotten some bad habits, but, don't worry, I'll break you of them
pretty quick. I always do."
"How did you know I would be out?"
"I didn't. I've been waiting for you to go somewhere. Now, I've got you,
and we're going home. Away from all this evil." Burke felt wetness oozing
down his face, and stuck his tongue out to catch it. Instead of salty tears,
it was the slightly metallic taste of blood. He pressed his fingers to the
gash, groaning. "Stop your whining. You'll live. We have a flight to catch."
"You can't get on a plane with that gun, and the minute you put it down,
I'm taking off running," he spat.
"Oh, I think you'll get on that plane. You know why? Because if you do
anything stupid, I'm going to the press and telling them everything you've
been doing for the past two months. How do you think everyone will react if
they find out that music group has been hanging around trash like you? How
many of them have you managed to confuse into bed, Burke? Don't forget,
you're a dirty homosexual, Burke. No one really wants you around. I'm the
only one who could ever put up with you for long, but that's only because
I'm your mother."
Burke sat dumbstruck, seeing no way out for him. His mother would use him
against the guys. Their ruin would be all his fault. "You threw me away," he
whimpered.
"The devil tried to confuse me. Now I see that my purpose on this earth is
to keep you from taking other people to hell with you. God is on my side."
Driving down the highway, Christian music blaring on the radio and Beverly
yelling, Burke cried. He was going back to the people and places that almost
killed him. He would never see his friends again. Maybe it was better this
way. If he weren't around, they wouldn't have to worry about reporters
barging into their lives and discovering him. He soon found himself back in
the company of the old darkness, all joy being sucked into the black void.
For a brief moment in time, he had been something, or at least allowed
himself to believe he was more than a waste of air. Now it was being ripped
away. Sobbing against the window, he felt his phone vibrate against his
thigh. There was no way he could answer it, not with his mother less than
three feet away. Soon it stopped, and he silently mouthed goodbye to whoever
it was.
"I can't believe that I had any part in making such an ungrateful child. I
spend all my time and money trying to raise you right, and all you can do is
take advantage of that. And after that stupid game with suicide, you didn't
even attempt to make things right. Oh no, you take off and sponge off of
people who you've tricked into thinking you are worth something. Stupid,
Burke, that's what you are." Beverly continued her rant, saying the same
hurtful things Burke had heard all his life. In the middle of her statements
on how she would force him into being a good person, he thought of a promise
he had made.
Joey, after a drama and tear filled talk, made him swear to listen to what
he said instead of drawing his opinions from his mother. That thought, the
sincere hopefulness and determination in the man's eyes and voice, slapped
his ears shut to the insults flying like a plague of locusts from his
mother's mouth. Joey was his big brother, always doling out bear hugs and
smiles as if they were food to the hungry. Joey loved him, and thought he
was good. Burke almost grinned at some of the pranks they had pulled
together. He thought about Justin having to run to the bathroom after they
had tickled him to the point of nearly peeing his pants.
Knowing that everything Beverly said were lies spoken by a miserable excuse
for a human being, Burke racked his brain for an escape. He would not give
in to her and the desperate craving for death that was certain to follow.
He, Burke Nathaniel Kennedy, was worth more than that. He deserved to live
without constant putdowns, and he deserved to be happy. Though he now longer
felt the need to cry, he kept on, using the sobs to mask his true
intentions. Subtly, slowly, he slid his hand into his pocket, fingering his
cell phone. Hoping he was hitting the right buttons, he pressed the speed
dial for home, careful to cover the earpiece so Chris' voice would not be
heard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris ambled into the kitchen, yelling at the phone that he was coming.
"Hello?" No one said anything in reply, only music playing in the
background. "Hello? Who is this?" Again, nothing. "Last chance. Going.
Going. Gone." Right before he hung up, a voice rang through.
"You know you're taking the long way to the airport."
Chris brought the receiver back to his ear. "Hello? I didn't catch that. I
think you may have a wrong number."
"Be quiet, Burke. I know where I'm going," he heard a woman say.
"All I'm saying is that there are much quicker ways to get there."
Chris gasped. "Burke? Burke, what's going on?" He began to pace the floor,
listening to the conversation. "Burke! Answer me! What's happening?"
"Just shut your mouth!"
"Really, if you are going to take me home, I figured you'd want to get to
the airport as quickly as possible. La Monte Avenue will get you there
eventually, but there are shorter ways."
That statement was all Chris needed to hear. Searching frantically, he
grabbed his cell phone from the living room and dialed the police. "Hello?
This is Christopher Kirkpatrick. My son has been kidnapped." He knew
instantly that he shouldn't have identified himself, sure that the cops
often took prank phone calls from people pretending to be members of NSYNC.
"Yes, sir. Kidnapped. He used his cell to call here, and I've been listening
to the conversation...No, sir. They are on their way to the airport,
currently on La Monte." He was quickly losing patience with the officer,
wanting action now and questions later. "I tell you what. You send a couple
of cars that direction, and I'll meet you at the airport. Then you will see
I'm telling the truth...Thank you. His name is Burke Kennedy...He's my
adopted son. He's about five foot, ten inches tall, a hundred and twenty
pounds, light brown hair and gray eyes. I think he was wearing a red t-shirt
with a sun on the chest, and black denim shorts." To prove his honesty,
Chris brought the two telephones together. "Just listen."
"Fine, just go down La Monte Avenue. I actually live here, but what do I
know?"
"I told you to be quiet, Burke. If you don't, I'll shut your mouth for
you."
"And how exactly are you going to get me on a plane if I'm bleeding and
bruised." A loud smack came over the line, skin against skin. "Damn it! That
hurt! Now I have another cut on my face."
Chris got back on with the cop. "Now do you believe me? Yes, sir. Thank
you. I'm on my way." Not worrying about locking the front door, he sprinted
to his car, still listening to Burke and his mother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's it for now people! I already know I'm going to receive at least two
different types of responses for this chapter: 1) It's timeliness, 2) The
cliffhanger. I sincerely apologize for both. Gateway takes a couple of weeks
to deliver, and sometimes a story needs a bit of suspense. But aren't you
glad Burke isn't giving up? Or that I didn't leave you hanging with a
gunshot?
I'd love to hear from each and everyone of you. You can write me at
cameronwriter@hotmail.com
Always,
Cameron
P.S. Applications for boyfriends now being accepted! All will be considered!
You: Funny, brilliant (in any way), trustworthy, loyal, at least mildly
handsome (even if it's just you who thinks so), and able to put up with a
quirky (read: slightly neurotic), neat freak, creative type.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!