Friday, July 17, 2009

Strength

I have always thought that hatred is an unacceptable sin. You should never hate a person. You can dislike certain things about a person. You can talk to him/her about it, listen to his/her justifications. If you still don't like it, try and change. If you can't change it, accept it; get used to it. That was my way. I never hated an entire person, ever in my life.

Today, strangely, hatred has shown to me why I shouldn't hate hatred! Hatred can have positive consequences too. After an year of trying to get my mind off a person who, well, in short, broke my heart, today, I feel free of all feelings, my mind feels free of all sick emotions. And that's because of hatred, or the healing power of hatred! Hatred has given me the strength. Now that I hate this person, and everything about this person, I don't feel tortured by love anymore! I have finally "got rid of" it all.

No, I'm not asking all those heart-broken fellows out there, reading this, to do the same. Hating someone is not easy. And hating someone is not right. And hating someone is not the right way to get over someone! Maybe the traditional ways of "pretending to be friends" or "stopping all contacts" are the right ones, after all. But, believe me, I tried all of them. I failed. I can't keep talking to a person who takes me for granted. I can't be friends with a person whom I'm physically attracted to. I can't be indifferent to a person who has penetrated into my most personal life. I can't stop talking to a person, who knows my weaknesses, and takes advantage of them at every possible opportunity. I can't forgive a person who has lied to me; who has lied about me to others; who has made me laughing stock to my friends, and thus insulted me, publicly, day in and day out. Hatred is the only way I can be strong this time. I don't want to be on Square One anymore.