LGBTQA+ 101

Allies

Q: What Does LGBTQA+ Stand For?

A: You may have also seen LGB, GLBT, GLT,
BLGTA, LGBTT2QQIIAAP, etc. We are called the LGBTQA
Resource Center, which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Transgender, Queer/Questioning,
Asexual/Aromantic, Allies and Advocates (and the A can
also stand for All). We started as the LGBTQ Resource
Center (a recommendation of our advisory board when we
first opened in 2007. The LGBTQ was consistent with
the LGBTQ minor). We later included the A as we also
provide support and programminng for Allies (since we value
our allies who work with us for LGBTQA+ inclusion and
equality) and as the ACE community became more visible and
we became more aware, we use the A to recognize
and include individuals who identify as Asexual,
Aromantic, or as Advocates. We continue
to learn as we do this work and we recognize
and include a variety of identities and encourage the
recognition of mulitiple intersecting identities. LGBTQA+
individuals belong to every other group and every group is
represented in the LGBTQA+ community. We also encourage
everyone to see each other as an individual and not as a
stereotype. Recognition of multiple identities is
also important because other forms of injustice and
inequity exist and the intersections and commonalities need
to be recognized and addressed for us to progress to a
community that is inclusive and welcoming of everyone.

While working to empower LGBTQA+ individuals, we
strive to create a climate that is welcoming and
inclusive for all people of all sexual
orientations, identities and expression that
is mutually respectful for all. We also know that
LGBTQA+ topics and individuals create discomfort for many
and we experience a form of systemic discrimination that is
not experienced by other groups at this time.

We have decided at this
time to use LGBTQA+ to
avoid adding additional letters to what has been
referred to as alphabet soup. Our graphics will most
likely read LGBTQA although you may also see LGBTQA+
(as an expression of our recognition that there
are many more identities we recognize while
needing to limit the size and length and constant need to
change our name. For a list of definitions
and other terms, please click here.

Q: What Does Intersex Mean?

Q: What does it mean to be an Ally?

A: The operational definition of an ally that we
officially use at the center is an individual who is
pro-LGBTQA+ and actively committed to diversity and
inclusion, mutual respect and personal safety for all
people of all sexual orientations, gender identities and
expression.

Our definition does not focus on identity but on
behavior. There are a number of reasons for using this
definition. One is that visibility and support of the
LGBTQA+ community is vital. In addition, identity can be
some what fluid (not changable) and where a person is at in
the identity process influences how one identifies.
The LGBTQA+ community is also a very diverse community and
we also have multiple, intersecting identities. Hopefully,
we are all in the process of learning how to be allies to
each other as well as being allied with individuals who do
not identify as LGBTQA+. In this perspective, being
an ally is more about what you do than how you
identify. We also recognize that all marginalized,
underrepresented and underserved groups have allies as well
and that we believe that all people of all orientations and
identities deserve equitable access, dignity, support, and
to be welcomed and included in the rights and
responsibilities accorded to everyone in regards to civil
and human rights.

It is important to be aware of the many ways
that allyhood is defined and perceived. Some
individuals identify as being an ally. Allies
are often defined as non-members of the target group
that is being supported. Thus, allies to the LGBTQA+
community are often assumed to be straight, cisgender
allies. Allies for racial justice may be defined as white
allies to people of color communities. Allies are entitled
to self-idenfity so the identity component can be added on
for those who would like to clarify their identity and
groups and individuals who they support.

Beyond taking action is building capacity and
building community. In order to build a more
inclusive and equitable environment we need to work
together with mutual respect, continually striving to do
our best to create a psychologically and physically safe
world designed to meet the needs of all people of all
sexual orientations, gender identities and expression.

While it is important for individuals to be free to
openly identify their orientation and identity to others,
it should not be a requirement. When we incorporate
identity as a main component of our definition of an ally
we are presuming that all allies, by definition, are not
LGBTQA+. Therefore, we are treating identities that
can be somewhat fluid as if they are not. There are pros
and cons to having orientation as a primary component of
the definition of an ally - it can be powerful and
sometimes more effective in a particular situation, for
straight allies to speak up and act on behalf of a
community or individual that has less power and privilege
in a situation. And, some allies want their orientation to
be known to others. It is perfectly acceptable to be out as
a heterosexual. It is also normative and accepted to be
straight and it can help some individuals feel more
comfortable identifying as a straight ally.

On the other hand, there is a breadth of diversity
within the LGBTQA+ community. Sexual orientation and gender
identity, although not changeable, can be somewhat fluid
and our gender expression may and can vary. Our own
definitions and expression of who we are can vary.
And, not all LGBTQA+ people, like non-LGBTQA+ people,
are supportive and accepting of the LGBTQA+ community or
knowledgeable and accepting of the diversity that exists
within the community. When individuals come out to
themselves and others also varies. Being an ally to one's
community should not depend on how one identifies. How an
individual identifies is based on the individual's
definition of who they are. While it is impossible to
totally take identity out of the definition of ally, it is
not required. In defining an ally based on behavior,
individuals can choose when and how they identify
themselves to others based on their orientation and
identity.

Q: What is Advocacy?

A: An advocate is an individual who is
proactive and actively working to improve conditions and
the environment so that it is more socially just. Some
define advocates as members of the target group who are
working on behalf of their community or communities. While
it is not possible to totally take identity out of the
definitions of ally and advocate, at UNL we are defining an
ally as an individual who is pro-LGBTQA+ and actively
committed to diversity and inclusion, mutual respect
(all allies deserve to be treated with the same
respect and dignity that we all deserve) and personal
safety (providing an environment where we are committed to
equitable treatment, dignity and respect for all
orientations and identities and all are safe from prejudice
and discrimination).

When we assume that allies are straight, we then require
those LGBTQA+ individuals who work for equity for the
LGBTQA+ community be out or living openly. If we are
LGBTQA+-identified and claim the label ally and it is
associated with a heterosexual identity, it implies that
their identity and orientation is known at that point in
time. It also means we need to define and identify
advocates (as non-members of the target group working for
their community). We have opted to use a definition of
allies that does not require people to make known their
orientation or identity. We hope that all individuals are
comfortable with this lack of distinction about sexual
orientation and gender identity in posting their commitment
to being an ally even though it is not entirely possible to
remove identity when using the word ally because of the
common connotation that an ally is not a member of the
targeted group.

The coming out process affects LGBTQA+ people as well as
friends, family, and allies. Family members, friends, and
allies also have their own coming out process as they learn
about and process that they have a LGBTQA friend or family
member. LGBTQA identity becomes integrated with other
aspects of self as just one identity for this person.

The process for family,
friends, and allies:

Learning a loved one is LGBTQA+:

Who is s/he really?

S/he can’t be gay

S/he isn’t gay

S/he is gay

I accept s/he is gay

I still care about her/him

I will support her/him

When and if someone comes out to
you,

Think before you speak; respond don’t react.

Appreciate that coming out is a challenge and
the person is taking a risk. You can thank the
person for trusting you enough to tell you.

Questions you can ask:

How long have you known you are
gay?

Has it been difficult to carry
this secret?

Is there some way I can
help?

Have I ever unknowingly
offended you?

Respect confidentiality: Don’t assume it’s okay to
tell other people

Would you like to learn more about being Creating
Inclusive Spaces and Develop as someone who is pro-LGBTQA+
and actively committed to diversity and inclusion? Do
you work or live on campus and want to be a visible in your
support? Check out our Creating Inclusive
Environments workshops!

Out Ally List

We also have an out ally list, where we
list those on campus who are willing to be identified
publicly as being pro-LGBTQA+ and actively committed to
diversity and inclusion for all people of all orientations
and identities. Individual names and departments or
organizations on campus are included. When individuals pick
up a safe space or
ally card we ask them to sign for the card, provide an
email contact, and the location that the card will be
posted. We also provide the opportunity to subscribe to one
of our listservs and/or InQueery (our newsletter), which is
published monthly during the academic year.

If you have comments, suggestions, or questions or would
like more information or materials related to creating
inclusive spaces, safe space, brave space or ally
cards, please stop by the center or contact Pat Tetreault,
Director of the LGBTQA Resource Center at UNL.