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Since the beginning of time, when men and woman have sat around on a Friday night and felt an urge to eat something easy and bad for you, they've turned to Pizza.

The same can be said for American Presidents, going all the way back to George Washington. In fact, one may say that really there is nothing more presidential than a pizza.

For instance, the crust illustrates a circle of trust which every president must have with his fellow countrymen in order to prove trustworthy and faithful to what they say.

The red of the pizza sauce illustrates the blood that hard working low income right-off-the-boat italians gave at the call of a President, to defend the right of every lazy and weak american, to call dominos without threat of nuclear explosion or racial profiling.

Furthermore, the toppings represent the fact that no matter how many words the presidents make up - some things just do not go together (sunni sardines and shiite pinapples for example).

The real reason why pizza stands out as being presidential though, is the very fact that no matter how incompetant you are - you can make a pizza. It takes a real idiot to burn one, and even then you can pass it off as a crispy crust. Just the same, with all the advisors and aides surrounding someone like the President - it'd take a real fool to goof things up, and when they do - they pass it off saying it's in the defense of our nation, and that osama bin laden is going to nuke america if we don't forfeit our freedoms for a greater redneck cause of killing and pillaging the world.

So what is a presidential pizza though? Simply one that has way too many of the wrong toppings cooked for too long with all the cheesiness one could hope for - but hey, it's better than the crap they sell in europe. As long as we pour liberal amounts of pepperoni on - it'll at least be eatable.