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It is said that bad habits die hard. How many times have you read in someone's dating profile: "I'm a positive person?" How often have you told someone to "think positive?" Psychology suggests this might not always be such a good idea as it distorts your thought process and, eventually, can develop into a bad habit of always distorting your thoughts. Could it be that one of the reasons so many fake reality is because they've developed poor thinking methods? Are your thoughts typically based upon the most plausible explanation or what you hope/want to be true? Which do you think is more important: thinking positively or thinking accurately?

FTA:

You have surely heard a lot about positive thinking. Positive thinking gets good press. Everyone tells you to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. But don't believe the hype. Positive thinking isn't quite the winner it claims to be. Those who drive in the fast and exhilarating lane of positive thinking may easily veer into the ditch of wishful thinking or tumble over the cliff of self-delusion. Much of the recent economic trouble people are finding themselves in, for example, is due to their willingness to think positively, wishfully, delusionally about the rate of appreciation on the value of their homes. For sound mental health, the fundamental question is not whether a thought is negative or positive, but whether it is accurate.

Accurate thinking is important because we know today, through the pioneering work of psychologists such as Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck and others, that your thoughts--the beliefs, interpretations and assumptions you make about yourself and the world around you--can shape your feelings and actions...

Our thoughts are, in essence, internal behaviors. Throughout life, we acquire many "thought habits"--characteristic ways of thinking about ourselves and the world. Distorted thought habits will over time result in psychological pain, just as a distorted posture will result in physical pain. For example, if you've adopted a habit of thinking "I must have everyone's approval to be successful," then you are bound to spend your time trying to get everyone to like you. Your inevitable failure over time will cause you pain. But the real culprit, the real source of your suffering, is not your failure to become universally loved but your belief that becoming so is a requirement for success.

Pop psychology may urge you to replace negative thought habits with positive ones. But that just exchanges one distortion for another. What you need is to change distorted thinking, be it positive or negative, into accurate thinking.

We all admire beauty, but the mind ultimately must be stimulated for maximum arousal. Longevity in relationships cannot occur without a meeting of the minds. And that is what Braincrave is: a dating venue where minds meet. Learn about the thoughts of your potential match on deeper topics... topics that spawn your own insights around what you think, the choices you make, and the actions you take.

We are a community of men and women who seek beauty and stimulation through our minds. We find ideas, education, and self-improvement sexy. We think intelligence is hot. But Braincrave is more than brains and I.Q. alone. We are curious. We have common sense. We value and offer wisdom. We experiment. We have great imaginations. We devour literacy. We are intellectually honest. We support and encourage each other to be better.

The Braincrave.com discussion group on Second Life was a twice-daily intellectual group discussions typically held at 12:00 PM SLT (PST) and 7:00 PM SLT. The discussions took place in Second Life group chat but are no longer formally scheduled or managed. The daily articles were used to encourage the discussions.