SSN is a digest of the day's soccer/football/futbol articles with a focus on the top European leagues and the United States National Team. Below, you’ll find links to articles and video, as well as additional features and commentary. We locate the top news of the day so you can stay updated with ease.

Let's break it down, shall we? And we'll go ahead and christen Group G "The Group of Yawn."

Kaka. Remember him? 2007 World Player of the Year? Well, although he belongs to Jesus, he says he'd like to leave Real Madrid. They bought him four years ago for £56 million. Check these stats from his time with Real. Yikes.

Jimbo returned with a Podcast yesterday and it's quite enjoyable. He and the lads (Sid Lowe, Barry Glendenning, Raphael Honigstein) are talking Celtic, Arsenal/Tottenham, Liverpool/Manchester United, and more.

What else? Oh, yes. Samuel Eto'o'o'o'o'o'o will ply his trade this season at Stamford Bridge. Let's see...Makhachkala, Dagestan or London, England? We'll take London, thank you very much. Sticking with transfers that have actually happened, perhaps a segue to The Joy of Six is in order? Today it's Record Transfers.

Why the sad face? Oh, because you cost Betis a world-record £21.5million and you sucked? OK.

There is a match of note today. It's called the Euro Super Cup and it pits the winner of the Europa League (Chelsea) against the winner of the Champions League (Bayern Munich). It's really only interesting because of Jose and Pep, the new gaffers. Former allies now enemies. Of something like that. Anyway, here's a preview.

On to the weekend! Super Sunday will have all of us feeling like this because of the fixtures on the calendar. First up is Liverpool vs. Manchester United. After that is the North London Derby between Arsenal and Tottenham. Here's all the crap you'll need to know about everything tomorrow and Sunday:

Meanwhile, in London, Tottenham have moved to replace Gareth Bale with Erik Lamela. Not content to be The Next Totti, Lamela will now be The Next Bale. Paolo Bandini takes a lookat Spurs' new €30 Million Man.

And, not to be outdone by their neighbors, Arsenal have finally splashed the cash, and are certain to make their supporters overjoyed with a new mega super-exciting signing of their own. Errrr...oh. Free? Oh.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Let's begin with Brazil 2014. Those of us at SSN Headquarters will not be attending. You'd have to be mad to deal with that mayhem and give money to the FIFA World Governing Body. Tim Vickery outlinesjust how expensive a trip to Brazil would be. Tim also bounces south to examine El Superclasico between Boca and River in BA. Well played, luv.

Hey! Pay attention. Right. Phil Ball. One of the best writers you'll ever be able to enjoy when it comes to the world of El Foot. It's Tuesday, so that means we get his column. This week he's talking about, well, who the fuck cares, he's writing and we're reading. Do it.Do it!Meanwhile, his partner in crime Sid Lowe is writing about El Che. Sorry, Elche.

Serie A. Italy. Luca Toni. Who? How old is that guy? 36 years of age, actually. Why do we care? He scored twice for Verona as they shocked Milan. Elsewhere, Inter won, a Carlos Tevez goal secured a road win for Juve, and Roma also won away from home. Here's a link to all the reports. Here are Five Things We Learned from Week One.

Monday MLS Breakdown is back! The big news was Clint Dempsey's home opener in Seattle. How did that go? Find out here.

The Mill is almost done. One more week and we can all chill the fuck out. Here's your Plus One.