When Paris was attacked by terrorists on Friday the 13th of November it was all over media. The hashtag #PrayForParis and supportive pictures were trending on social media. The coverage on traditional media and social media made sure that no-one missed out on what had happened.

Kids react too. On Momio, our social media for kids, the hashtag was used in thousands of posts. The discussions that grown-ups were having also made their way to Momio: “Why do you pray for Paris and not for the people of Syria?”, for instance. That led to other trending hashtags like #PrayForTheWorld.

Picture by artist Jean Jullien

It’s important to express feelings

When terror strikes we think it is important that kids have a place to express their worries and feelings. It is OK to be sad, upset and worried. Sometimes social media is a great place to reach out to others and comfort each other, especially in times like these when people all over the world are scared and sad.

Momio is a social platform for kids, and we therefore don’t allow posts or pictures that could scare others. When we remove posts for being too scary or violent we inform why it was removed. Here is what our Momio police officer Jack wrote to kids who posted too scary content about the Paris attacks:“I had to delete something you posted about the Paris terrorist attacks. The content you posted was too shocking to be on Momio. Many momios are young and don’t know how to deal with those things. It is OK to show your support to the victims and their families, but don’t show any scary material. I hope you understand. If you are very shocked about what happened in Paris, talk to your parents or other grown-ups about it.”

No matter how much kids talk about scary events with each other, the support from parents is priceless. Kids don’t always see the big picture the same way as grown-ups do, and they don’t always know correct information from rumours.

How do you talk to your kids about attacks like the one in Paris? Read our post where a Finnish expert gives some advice for parents when your kid needs support after seeing scary things online. And please, share your own tips and experiences in the comments!

About the author:

Nathalie Seow, Momio

Nathalie Seow has experience as Swedish Community Manager, Head of Social Media and Community Supporter at Momio. Her history with us goes all the way back to May 2011. She is a social media geek that loves to explore new trends and social communities online. She has a previous career in fashion retail and visual merchandising but can’t think of a better job than working with kids online.

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The most important rule of watAgame’s social media platforms is simply “Be nice”. It’s a broad statement, as it basically encompasses everything that concerns polite behaviour and speech online. Internet has become a big and vital part of our lives, but it sometimes brings out the worst in people. The perceived sense of anonymity makes some people bolder and less inhibited, which results in behaviour that borders on cruel, hateful and downright illegal. You wouldn’t insult someone on the street or at a restaurant, but the online world blurs the lines. People don’t see the being on the other side of some video or a post as a real person. And that makes it easier to be mean.

The recent government elections in Poland sparked a civil action against all that negativity. Celebrities, journalists and other influential people talked about “hater culture” and how people could stand above it and have a polite conversation about divisive topics. We think that all the points that they mentioned in their statement are relevant for all discussions that take place online. It’s especially valid where children are concerned, since they tend to imitate behaviour that they see often.

We adapted their points to fit watAgame’s profile, however the message remained the same and is relevant in any social media:

Be brave
Always take responsibility for what you write online.

Use nice words
Even if others use bad language, you stay polite.

Be tolerant
Don’t publish hateful statements. Being different doesn’t make another person evil.

Don’t troll and don’t feed the troll
Don’t be provoked by trolls and orks, don’t stoop to their level.

Be mindful about what you say
Hateful speech online hurt many people. And you’re not a criminal!

Think before you speak
If the best option seems to be offending the other person then it means that either they’re right or you can’t properly justify your opinion. Think before you engage in any discussions.

Understand
Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing. All people are different and have the right to their own opinions, viewpoints and ideas.

Make an effort
It’s more difficult to form opinions than insults. But try! You can do it!

Help keep order
Report mean and hateful comments and messages to the administration and, if necessary, proper law enforcement.

It basically all boils down to Momio’s “Be nice” statement, however it’s good to split it into smaller bits that are easier to understand and explain to kids. It takes a real effort to be kind to someone who is being mean, but it shows that they’re being petty and you’re the bigger person. It’s one of the messages watAgame’s socia media strongly supports.

About the author:

Diana Cereniewicz, Momio

Diana Cereniewicz is a Polish Community Manager. She started working for us in June 2015 when Momio was launched in Poland. She has a master’s degree in English literature and language, and dabbles in translation and interpretation as well. She also does diverse online content creation and moderation.

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“Could we please get a BFF button on Momio? Or a boyfriend/girlfriend button? Please please please?”

The users sometimes ask for a BFF button on Momio. Sometimes it is hard to explain why we let our users down over and over again and say no. Let us explain.

Being a part of something and belonging are essential parts of childhood. Finding your way through the crowd and hanging out with your people is something we all desire. We keep telling our kids that they should be with people who like them for who they are and not care about what other people think. But finding that person, that special friend, can be very difficult for some kids. What if no one commits to the role of the best friend?

BFF’s – do they exist?

Let’s have a look at the term BFF – Best friends forever. Do they even exist? Best friends, sure, but forever? Changing friends is like changing hairstyles for some kids, and it is a part of becoming who you want to be at that specific part of your life. Maybe it is better to focus on opening up the possibilities of becoming friends, getting new ones, meeting people who like what you like, instead of tying the friendship knot with only one person? Not expecting the world to be a place where people walk in pairs of two can also be a way of seeing new opportunities. And getting new friends.

“Position as BFF is open – apply today”

“The industry” of BFFs is something we see from time to time on Momio. The same goes for boyfriend/girlfriend hunts. Having a special someone is clearly a status symbol – it’s more about showing off than it is about actual commitment or mutual support. We have to remember that the concept of BFFs, or monogamous relationships for that matter, is human-made and it is a way of normalizing a certain way of living. This will of course feel very satisfying for the people who actually have someone special, “the normal ones”, and make the ones without feel alienated.

We believe that introducing a BFF button on Momio will only make the people not able to push the button (or get rejected when trying to push it) miserable, more than it will help people show their infinite love for one another. A relationship between two people is not something that necessarily needs to be defined or be forever. It’s fine if they want to define themselves (and they can do it in their posts), but making it official on social media is so complicated that they can spend the rest of their lives figuring out how to deal with it.

So the next time you ask your child who their best friend is, keep in mind that the answer can change from day to day, it can be blurry or it simply can be: no one. And if the answer is in fact no one, try not to panic, maybe a group of people – a (online) community or a subculture is what your kid prefers and needs. That is also fine!

So no, sorry to disappoint everyone asking for it, but we will not get a BFF button on Momio. You are free to love and play with whomever you want on Momio, and of course also forever if that works for you. But the world is a tough place to be defined as friendless or lonely, and we at watAgame will not be a part of making people feel alone or “not normal”. Not having a best friend now does not mean that you will never get one – and who knows, maybe you do not need a best friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend for that matter. Maybe you can be just as happy without them.

Momio – Always among friends. Not just BFFs.

About the author:

Martine Østrem, Momio

Martine Østrem worked as a Norwegian Community Manager at Momio 2013 to 2016. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Studies and a Master’s Degree in Educational Anthropology. Martine is interested in online communities, minority studies and safety.