Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

when he gave him his oats. The other three followed
him very close, except Eudemon only, whose horse’s
fore-right or far forefoot sank up to the knee in the
paunch of a great fat chuff who lay there upon his
back drowned, and could not get it out. There
was he pestered, until Gargantua, with the end of his
staff, thrust down the rest of the villain’s
tripes into the water whilst the horse pulled out
his foot; and, which is a wonderful thing in hippiatry,
the said horse was thoroughly cured of a ringbone
which he had in that foot by this touch of the burst
guts of that great looby.

Chapter 1.XXXVII.

How Gargantua, in combing his head, made the great
cannon-balls fall out of his hair.

Being come out of the river of Vede, they came very
shortly after to Grangousier’s castle, who waited
for them with great longing. At their coming
they were entertained with many congees, and cherished
with embraces. Never was seen a more joyful
company, for Supplementum Supplementi Chronicorum
saith that Gargamelle died there with joy; for my
part, truly I cannot tell, neither do I care very much
for her, nor for anybody else. The truth was,
that Gargantua, in shifting his clothes, and combing
his head with a comb, which was nine hundred foot long
of the Jewish cane measure, and whereof the teeth
were great tusks of elephants, whole and entire, he
made fall at every rake above seven balls of bullets,
at a dozen the ball, that stuck in his hair at the
razing of the castle of the wood of Vede. Which
his father Grangousier seeing, thought they had been
lice, and said unto him, What, my dear son, hast thou
brought us this far some short-winged hawks of the
college of Montague? I did not mean that thou
shouldst reside there. Then answered Ponocrates,
My sovereign lord, think not that I have placed him
in that lousy college which they call Montague; I
had rather have put him amongst the grave-diggers of
Sanct Innocent, so enormous is the cruelty and villainy
that I have known there: for the galley-slaves
are far better used amongst the Moors and Tartars,
the murderers in the criminal dungeons, yea, the very
dogs in your house, than are the poor wretched students
in the aforesaid college. And if I were King
of Paris, the devil take me if I would not set it on
fire, and burn both principal and regents, for suffering
this inhumanity to be exercised before their eyes.
Then, taking up one of these bullets, he said, These
are cannon-shot, which your son Gargantua hath lately
received by the treachery of your enemies, as he was
passing before the wood of Vede.

But they have been so rewarded, that they are all
destroyed in the ruin of the castle, as were the Philistines
by the policy of Samson, and those whom the tower
of Silohim slew, as it is written in the thirteenth
of Luke. My opinion is, that we pursue them
whilst the luck is on our side; for occasion hath
all her hair on her forehead; when she is passed, you
may not recall her,—­she hath no tuft whereby
you can lay hold on her, for she is bald in the hind-part
of her head, and never returneth again. Truly,
said Grangousier, it shall not be at this time; for
I will make you a feast this night, and bid you welcome.