Outback Steakhouse Insists It’s Not the Illuminati, But I’m Not Convinced

Outback Steakhouse has publicly denied that it’s practicing
witchcraft, despite abundant evidence to the contrary. I mean,
look at this:

First of all, props to @eatmyaesthetics for taking the time to
map this shit out; I’ve personally tracked down a lot of
Outbacks in my lifetime but never mentally connected the dots.
But now that I know the truth, it’s impossible to see it any
other way: You don’t just get a 10-ounce steak for $12 without
at least a little help from the devil.

Now that the door has been opened, Twitter users across the
country are onto the steakhouse, or should I say,satanhouse:

Sin-cinnati indeed.

And one more:

Complex points out that “it should
be noted how many users went out of their way to draw the
pentagram—in some cases omitting nearby locations to link
Outback restaurants miles away in order to make the
connection,” but what is life if not one long attempt to
distill meaning where none probably exists?

Outback shrewdly decided to play along, dropping an image of a
miles-wide Bloomin’ Onion hovering ominously over Florida:

And this 30 Rock scene also invokes Florida!
COINCIDENCE? Of course not—there are no coincidences. But a bit
of digging around has led me to realize that the plot is
actually thicker than a bucket full of blood-red paint:

Outback was founded in Tampa in 1988. One of restaurant’s four
creators is named Trudy Cooper—the same name as the former wife
of astronaut Gary Cooper, who claimed to have seen a UFO while flying over
West Germany in 1951, an account which he later walked back.
But in 1957, his crew reported that they saw a
“strange-looking, saucer-like” aircraft that did not make a
sound either on landing or take-off. From Wikipedia:

According to his accounts, Cooper realized that these men,
who on a regular basis have seen experimental aircraft flying
and landing around them as part of their job of filming those
aircraft, were clearly worked up and unnerved. They explained
how the saucer hovered over them, landed 50 yards away from
them using three extended landing gears and then took off as
they approached for a closer look.

He held claim until his death that the U.S. government was
indeed covering up information about UFOs.

Surely it can’t be the same Trudy Cooper—the astronaut’s wife
died in 1994; and the steakhouse’s founder was alive and well
for a photo in 2013…right? And
yet, when you Google “Outback Steakhouse,” the name that pops
up among the founders is Trudy Olson—Olson was Cooper’s maiden
name—with a link to…you guessed it.
The astronaut’s wife.