Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

Phil: Kids, get down here!Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me.Claire: Alright, that's not going to happen and...wow, you're not wearing that outfit.Haley: What's wrong with it?Claire [to Phil]: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?Phil: Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute sweetheart.Haley: Thanks.Claire [to Haley]: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them