Saturday, 28 February 2015

The last day of February was als the monthly Saturday Quilt Bee at Laura's Quilt Atelier. Had to share some pictures of the projects that everyone is working on.

Well I loved this plate, with the rooster. The cake was delicious too. You can see, as hardly a crumb is left.

One of the bee members brought some antique sewing & knitting notions with her that made our mouths drop open. We were nearly drooling! A real show & tell.

Little sewing was done this time, lots of talking and showing things. So I'll end this post by showing the Onze Lieve Vrouwetoren. I really should go and visit it and learn a little more about this tower in the center of Amersfoort.

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Looking
back on week 8 I have to say this might be my best week so far in 2015. But
when I listen to my inner voice I have to admit that most of the days in this
week were the best since my career change. The very best! I think you want to
know why? I’m trying out new teaching techniques. I’m combining 3 learning
techniques (cognitive, affective & regulative) and sharing control with the
students. The effect blows my mind.Lots
of interaction with 12 students 8 hours long! At the end of the day, both the
students and I were impressed with the fun we had and how quickly the day flew
by. It really didn’t feel like 8 hours of learning. And at the end of the day
we concluded that we had all learned a lot. A couple of days later I tried it
out again, and wow, the same effect. I seem to have a natural tendency for the
constructivist approach to teaching and learning.

Constructivism is an approach to teaching and learning
based on the premise that cognition (learning) is the result of "mental
construction." In other words, students learn by fitting new information
together with what they already know. Constructivists believe that learning is
affected by the context in which an idea is taught as well as by students'
beliefs and attitudes

(Renate N.Caine and Geoffrey Caine, 1991). I’m definitely going learn more about this
approach or should I say teaching paradigm?

So I was on a roll till Thursday 1.30pm. After
connecting with this one person I had to do some soul searching. What is it
about this person that sucks all the happiness and energy out of me? I’ve been
pondering on this moment ever since. Well I have found my answer. When INFJs
have strong feelings or opinions about someone we often tend to express
them in one way or another since this type of expression comes natural to
us because of the Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This is why INFJs can be very
loving and caring with the people we like but find it hard to get along with
people we don’t like. And there we have it: INFJs can often end up in heated
debates with other people when we feel they act careless, selfish or in any
other way pose a treat to our values.

As an INFJ I have the ability to see both sides of
people. The good side but also the bad ones. I see people for who they really
are. This ability really sucks! I see what intentions they have and the way
they value. I know when somebody is dishonest with me and that gets me every
time. I can’t leave it alone. I think this is soooooo wrong! So when someone
hurts me in some way, where most other people might get angry, I can only feel
pity because I know that on a existential level this person can’t help it
because it is part of who they are. That we all have our demons and even though
we are aware how they make me or others suffer, it’s very difficult to change.
So what does stupid me do, I forgive people even though they might not deserve
it. This gets me in big trouble! Being forgiving makes me weak. People take
advantage of me because of this weakness to forgive. And guess what? This makes
this person feel wonderful. After
ending the conversation, this person left all happy and bubbly. It would make
me very happy if I could choose to not spend any time with this person but
sadly this is not possible.

Why I feel drained after this encounter is
because we, INFJs, tend to internalize a lot of our feelings.We INFJs are very feeling oriented type of
personality. We are deeply emotional and most of our problems in life will
relate to this heightened emotional sensitivity. I really need to learn more how
my Extraverted Feeling (Fe) affects me. That would help me create more
stability in my life and maybe even serenity. And, all of a sudden we are back
to time management LOL

To gain more control on my emotions, I need
realize that when somebody gets me angry or upset, it is really that external
energy that affects me. I choose how to
react and that determines how I feel. It isn’t that person! I can learn,
with practice, to change how this person affects me.

Slowly, after 50 years, acceptance is taking
place. I will never really truly fit in. But I’m okay with this. The
feeling of not fitting in is common to INFJs, until you manage to find the
right people that are more like you. Well I’ve finally found that place and
those people. I'm happy and for that I'm grateful.

Nearly all my life I’ve felt like I’m from a different
planet than other people. As I get misunderstood a lot (and it is not because
of a language barrier LOL). I’m finally over that feeling to try to change myself
in order to fit in. As in the end it will only drain all my energy even more
since I can’t be something I’m not. So I’ve stopped trying! Well I want to stop trying to change, but there are instances when I realise I’m still learning to let
go. The ‘others‘ have to accept me as I am. It is their loss, not mine. I think
and believe we are all biologically wired in different ways psychologically
just as we all have different appearances and features. That makes this world for me such a fascinating place to live.

Today I’m putting some order into my life as a
quiltmaker. Searched for all the Dear Jane blocks that I’ve been making. I
haven’t been giving this quilt in progress all the attention it deserves.
Coming week I’m having a quilt retreat. A retreat can be either a time of
solitude or a community experience. My retreat will be held in silence. I will
be quilting alone. It will be a time of reflection, threading the needle and
sewing rhythmically all the pieces together. It will not be a community
experience like most quilt retreats.

Here are the blocks that have been made in the past 18
months.

Did
you know that INFJs are also perfectionistic? We are often much
harder on ourselves than we are on others. The Dear Jane helps me accept
my perfectionism.After nearly 4 years I’m
still contemplating on redoing F-6, Deanie’s Daisies. One of the blocks in the second trip!

Sunday, 15 February 2015

My day can’t start any better than waking up at sunrise, which was at 7.57am today. Maybe
it can get better! As we will nearly have 10 hours of daylight! To be precise
we will have 9 hours and 55 minutes of daylight. During those 10 hours we will
see the sun and some clouds. It is starting to look like spring is here, or is
it just me wishing it was spring already? I really do prefer daylight to
darkness.

What have I learned
this week? Managing my time is hard, real hard.

I think I’m starting to
understand why I can't manage my time. I’m a helper and people pleasure. Helpers according to the
enneagram institute are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. The downside
during periods of stress is that on the outside I become aggressive and
dominating. I become the challenger. I hate that side of me: the strong one,
self-confident and assertive side. I SO want to be in my flow. I’m at my happiest when I’m emotionally aware, sensitive, self-deceptive,
self-nurturing and reserved: the Bohemian (individualist). My greatest fear is
worthlessness and so I pick-up any chore that comes my way. The more I do, the
more ‘others‘ will appreciate me! This affirmation is SO wrong, don't you think? So when my task
is unclear or I’m not happy with my task, I help ‘others’ because they ask. It
is a distraction technique. I don’t need to choose and I show my worth.

At my best, I share my
own personal experiences and insight to assist ‘others‘ in understanding how to
deal with a problem. I’m at my best in problem-solving situations. I’m a
mentor and tutor in nearly all aspects of my life. What are the eight core
conditions of helping: empathy, warmth, respect, genuineness, self-disclosure,
concreteness, confrontation, and immediate feedback. This is me, when helping others. Are you a helper too? Is
that why you don’t seem to have a fix on ‘time‘?

So in order to manage
my time I need to make choices. I love being curious; I love pioneering,
discovering new things, and new insights.
I love problem solving. I love working with small groups of people. In
this setting I can be ‘me‘, as I can learn. I love learning. The new hype –
life-time learning – isn’t wasted on me. I need more ‘me‘ time, I need to work alone
more. As I need to look from the outside in. In the next months I’m going to
try and create this kind of environment.

My personality shows
as a quiltmaker too. I like setting goals, but also want to finish a project (sooner
rather than later), and go on to the next thing. When a project looks like it
will not have closure anytime soon, I will leave it behind and go on to the
next task and not look back. This explains why I have so many UFO’s. When I
eventually retire, I will rediscover so many unfinished projects. SO looking forward to that.

I love figuring out
how a block needs to be constructed. Once I understand the process, I don’t
need to make the same block, again and again. I’m most probably a ‘Sampeler‘ kind
of Bohemian Quiltmaker. So now you know why I like the DEAR JANE. No block is
the same in this quilt. 225 different blocks!!

Sunday, 8 February 2015

My last post was in 2014, to be more specific on the 18th of
October. I’ve decided after much contemplation to rekindle my blog. As I really
want to focus on those things that make me happy. I’m noticing that I’m
focusing more on what I have not accomplished and less at what I really enjoy
and have achieved.

In the past years I’ve learned that being thankful in
everything is more important than being thankful for something. It might be a
little strange to re-start writing in week 6 of 2015, but who cares. I don’t!
I’m refocusing on being thankful on all that exists.

In the past week I have appreciated the following things:

Recognizing that I’m a great mentor and tutor. I
love teaching small groups of students. Students seek me out and ask my advice.
I love teaching them to be curious. I see that my ethical, scientific and
professional behavior seems to leave a strong impression on the students I have
contact with. I’m happy to say my attitude towards my work, the nursing
profession in general and investigative ability seems to leave an imprint.
Their self-awareness increases after our meetings.

Teaching allows me to be curious. It allows me
to assess and develop my knowledge, values, qualities, skills and behaviors. I
get paid to reflect on my own experiences and learn from them. These
experiences guide my personal and professional development. Who can say they
get paid for doing what they love?

Recognizing my own strength and weaknesses. I
think I might be a global learner. I need to see the big picture of a subject
before I can master details. Once I have understanding of how the material
connects to other topics and disciplines I’m able to apply it in ways most
other thinkers could never dream of. I learn in large jumps, absorbing material
almost randomly without seeing connections, and then suddenly ‘getting it‘. Therefore,
one of my bigger challenges is giving lectures to students who have other
learning styles and strategies.

Meeting colleagues, who like me, are just
starting out as teachers. We are doing a course together. Learning basic
teaching skills. So cool.

Figuring out how to make G-3 ‘Four leaf clover’
one of the 225 blocks from the 1863 Jane A. Stickle quilt (Dear Jane). Thanks
Laura for your help. I’m starting to see why I am the slow quiltmaker. I need
to understand why I’m doing it, the way I do it.

Learning to control my time and life. Because of
my whooping cough and bronchitis I’m less fit than I would like to admit. I
have the feeling I’m never done. The list of chores never seems to get shorter.
I’m flustered and it seems to influence my health. Healing from the whooping
cough and bronchitis is taking forever! I really need to learn to manage my
time!! I need to say ‘no‘ more often and make choices.

‘time
management should save time, not take time‘ ~ Craig Jarrow

My time management skills are really underdeveloped
/ lousy. According to Craig I should do the
following:

oplan my day

omake a TODAY list

oGet up 30 minutes earlier

oBe early to appointments

oHave a notebook

oRule my phone

oStay out of my Inbox

oClean my desk

oTake a break

oDon’t waste time complaining

Well I already manage 2 of the 10 skills. If
I’m real truthful, maybe only one! If you want to know which ones, just leave a
comment. Now I only need to incorporate
the other 8 or 9 in my life! Guess my team manager was right. Maybe I do need a
coach to learn to manage my time (and life). Oops!

A colleague said she got one of the books by Brené Brown as a
gift. Her friend said she should let go of who you think you are supposed to be
and embrace who you are. Her friend said she really should read the book. I’m
talking about the book: the gifts of imperfection.

Well my colleague said I
should read this too. According to her I should embrace myself more. She hadn’t
read the book yet but according to her maybe I could learn something from it, LOL. I'm embarrassed to say (write) that I’ve had this book in my digital bookcase
for 3 years. We have decided to read this book together and learn to accept our imperfections and embrace being ‘ourselves’, and in my case being ‘me’.

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Me

the slow quiltmaker

About me

I’m a quiltmaker who in her spare time, of which I never seem to have enough off, tries to find serenity while making quilts. I love everything that has to do with traditional quilting. I've been quilting since 1989, but really got into it from 2006. Aagje Admiraal from the Quiltkelder in Putten has taught me the basics of hand piecing & quilting.

This blog is about the musings from my own life, pondering on the interactions of us in general & my life's journey and trying to understand the unexpected. I love writing down my roving thoughts, but like quilting I don't allow myself this pleasure enough.

I’m starting to appreciate the simplicity of my moments. I’m a rookie at the practice of gratitude. I’m learning that being thankful in everything is more important than being thankful for something. In the practice of gratitude I've found happiness.

I hope you find something on here that makes you smile or ponder. Or both.

Inspirational

"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with others, and along those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects." Herman Melville

Quote

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.”—Marie Curie (1867-1934), chemist, physicist, Nobel Prize winner