Temporary Security

This morning I paid the $165 phone bill that is due on Feb. 25. Last week, I paid off the past due balance—so now, for the first time in about 4 months, my phone bill is completely paid off, with no balances.

I also wrote Joel’s mom a check for $350, to cover rent/bills for last month. This is a major blessing to us—the fact that our rent/utilities, once split 6 ways, is always $350 or less per person. After taking a substantial paycut when I transitioned from full-time administration to part-time faculty, money has been very tight (hence the late payments on phone bill), and if our rent/bills hadn’t gone down so much when we moved in with Joel’s family, I would probably have had to look for a loan. (Which I definitely do not want, nor can I truly afford.)

Yesterday I got my dental and health insurance premiums squared away (one month late on health, three months late on dental), so I can finally breathe easy there. I was able to make a nice dent in my credit card balance (paid off about 1/3 of the total balance!), and after all is said and done, I have about $400 left for the month for food, sundries, school supplies, transportation, etc.

I also need to sit down and write up an invoice for some voiceover work I did this month–which won’t be princely, but it will be income I don’t usually have, so that’s great news.

There are many things in my life which stress me out, and prompt a near-constant undercurrent of insecurity—lack of finances is a big one.

So it’s really, really nice to have been able to catch up a little bit with my debts large and small—this month, I get to let go of that constant worry for a while. And this semester, I have more hours than the fall term, so I don’t have to try and stretch $1150 over all the expenses (now I get to stretch $1400).

I so dislike money worries. We had them all throughout my childhood, and I have rarely had financial security as an adult. It doesn’t help that I have never sat down and forced myself to do any financial planning, nor do I have stellar spending habits. But I have always been able to get by. This year, I’ve been taking small steps to rectify past spending sins, but without the capital, it’s been slow going.