Sep 04, 2019

Seeds Stories: Seeing hope

It’s so hard to bring what I feel right now into words.

One month ago, I returned from the craziest journey of my life. I was in some kind of a tiny paradise, in Maine.

For three weeks, I fell asleep to the sound of water in the lake.

For three weeks, I found so much of myself, and also completely lost myself.

I learned so much, and so many of my questions got an answer, and still, I’m 20 times more confused now.

For three weeks, I fell in love, in the deepest meaning of it, with people who were taught to hate me, as much as I was taught to hate them.

I fell in love with people who live oceans away, and with people who live ridiculously close to me. I fell in love, for three weeks, with people who touched the most sensitive spots in my life. I heard so many lies, but also so much truth.

I understood that I can’t run away from my identity. That I am a human being before I’m Jewish, but I also found out how much Judaism means to me.

I understood how thin the line is between “it matters” to “it doesn’t matter” when it comes to the place you come from.

But mostly, and it’s so cheesy, I saw hope. I see now that everything has so many different meanings to different people, all of them somehow true.

I found out how privileged I am. Privileged to live where I live, privileged to have the amazing family I have, to have the religion I have, to have the opportunity to do what I want.

And I am so grateful for all of the people who were with me for those three weeks. You taught me all of these things. I’m also grateful for the people back home, who supported my decision to join Seeds of Peace.

To all of you, I share what our PSs taught us: “I carry you not on my shoulders, but in my heart.”