Re: What are your favorite quotes of all time?

Otis: Listen, you Malibu middle class Barbie piece of shit, I'm tryin' to work here. Work? You ever work? Yeah, I'll bet you have. Scoopin' ice cream to your shit-heel friends on summer break. Well I ain't talkin' about no goddamn white socks with Mickey Mouse on one side and Donald Duck on the other. I ain't readin' no funny books, mama. Our bodies come and go but this blood... is forever.

Re: What are your favorite quotes of all time?

#10You can say, ‘Can I use your bathroom?’ and nobody cares. But if you ask, ‘Can I use the plop-plop machine?’ it always breaks the conversation.#9So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.#8There’s a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you’re looking in a window. I’ll give you a hint: one of ‘em is super illegal.#7One time my own father caught me watching a porno movie. The one thing you never wanna hear in that situation is, “son, move over.” “And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon…” my eye!#6The other night I had the lonely bug so I went to this bar. I saw this beautiful girl there. I’m thinking, “She’s alone, I’m alone. Why not annoy the shit out of her?” SO I walk over, I’m walking, I’m wearing clogs. And I notice she has a black eye, she has a shiner. I’m thinking, “Great. She doesn’t listen.” So two McNuggets, three beers, and 50 dollars later we’re back at my house doing it doggy style. Not that I planned on it, that’s just how she passed out. Thank you slow gas leak.#5I went to a sex store, and i was drunk. Never do that. I took one of those strap-on dildos, I put it on my head and started chasing people like a rhino. Oh, God. Oh my God! Everyone was laughing, except for the guy in the kilt. I don’t know what happened, but i’m sorry.#4Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.#3I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I discovered–I need a girlfriend. ‘Cause that Discovery Channel is the most boring shit I’ve ever seen in my life, and the more of it you watch, the less chance you ever have of meeting a woman, cause it fills your head full of odd facts that come out at any moment like Tourette’s Syndrome. I’m talking to a girl: “hi, how ya doin’. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? Much like the sea otter. Where are you going? Come back!”#2You’re thinking I’m homophobic; I hear it all the time. “Dave, you’re probably gay.” “What?” “Well, you talk about being gay so you probably are gay! You probably secretly want to have sex with another man!” And I say, “Listen, Voice In My Head…I do not.” “How do you know you wouldn’t like it? How do you know you wouldn’t love it?” listen other scarier voice in my head, I know I wouldn’t like it or love it, because one time…during a terrible gardening accident, I sat on a cucumber… 3 times. It happens. You never see it on ER, but it’s happening. Every 8 minutes out there, someone is sitting on a cucumber, or papaya if you live in Hawaii. We need programs. If that ever happens, you need two things and two things quick: a pair of ice tongs, and a friend that can keep a secret. Preferably your midget friend. ‘Cause nobody believes a midget until it’s too late. Cucumber up a man’s ass? Is that where the treasure is? Well then lead me, into your midget world!#1 Eggnog, who thought that one up? “I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes.” You know what eggnog really is. You’re not gonna want to hear it, but I’ll tell ya. It’s elf cum. You might as well pour it down your back and slap yourself on the ass.

Re: What are your favorite quotes of all time?

Crazy Earl: These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting. --Full Metal Jacket

Private Joker: I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill! --Full Metal Jacket

Re: What are your favorite quotes of all time?

“With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.”- Raoul Duke

Re: What are your favorite quotes of all time?

" I have crossed oceans of time to find you " Bram Stokers Dracula

"Mother fucker! Are you out of your damn mind? " - Blade

"You've got a pretty mouth"- Tallahasse, Zombieland

"Boy, I bet you'd stick your head in fire if I told ya you could see Hell. Meanwhile, you're too stupid to realize you got a demon stickin' out your ass singing, "Holy Miss Moley,"" --Otis , House of 1000 Corpses

"One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires"- Grandpa, The Lost Boys

Re: What are your favorite quotes of all time?

“Here's a confession: I’m in love with a man. What? I’m in love with a man ... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.”“Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on little jobbies?!” “Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that’s not for us ... those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We’re just here to eat some dude!”"This is america you can't just come in here and still our land away from us." -Charlie Kelly, it's always sunny in Philadelphia

" I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.""What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!""You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!" -Tony Montana