Guest Column: WELCOME TO BUZZFEED

I AM NEW WRITER! MY NAME IS BUZZ! I AM LOCAL WORKER! I AM FROM URBAN HIVE, IT IS HOW I GOT THIS JOB! IS A NICE JOB! THERE IS DARK WARM NECTAR HERE AND IT IS VERY GOOD! IT IS VERY NICE AND IT MAKES ME AN EVEN BETTER WORKER! I HAVE SO MANY ENERGIES AND DON’T NEED TO SLEEP! THE OTHER WORKERS HERE TELL ME THAT THEY NEED MANY BIG FLOWERS WORTH OF DARK NECTAR, BUT I AM VERY EFFICIENT WORKER, I DO NOT NEED MUCH!

I HAVE GOTTEN LOTS OF FLOWERS FOR THE QUEEN! THE HIVE IS VERY HAPPY, THEY LIKE BUZZ FEED GIVING THE BUZZ MORE FEED! I AM HAPPY THAT THEY ASKED ME TO INVESTIGATE THE BUZZ FEED! THESE WORKERS ARE INEFFICIENT AND THEY DO NOT DANCE, BUT THEY GIVE FLOWERS AND SO THE QUEEN IS OK WITH THIS!

WHAT IS? BUZZ FEED! POLLEN! NECTAR! HONEY! LOTS OF NECTAR! SO MUCH NECTAR! HONEY IS FOR OUR BABIES, WE LOVE OUR LITTLE WORKERS AND OUR SMALL DRONES! BUT THEY NEED FOOD! AND SO WE MAKE THEM HONEY! BUZZ FEED IS HONEY AND NECTAR! SO MANY NECTAR, SO MANY HONEY! NECTAR PUKE IS BUZZ FEED! DARK NECTAR IS NOW NEW BUZZ FEED TOO!