Posts Tagged ‘horsemeat’

Retailers have announced their Christmas sales predictions today, revealing that Princess Anne has a ‘strong chance’ of reaching the festive top spot for December book sales with the launch of her debut cookbook, ‘Horses for Courses’. Said to be the first of its kind, readers will be treated to wide array of equine offerings, from ‘honey-glazed hoof’ to ‘quick and easy tongue sandwiches, straight from the horse’s mouth’.

Yet another top name has been dragged into the horsemeat scandal after a trainer at the Godolphin stables in Suffolk admitted to injecting thoroughbred racehorses with a cocktail of flavour-enhancing herbs and spices, including salt, garlic and even rosemary.

Look a little closer at Britain’s green and pleasant land and a new social problem will quickly become apparent. Record numbers of unemployed cows are just standing around field corners claiming millions of pounds in welfare payments from British taxpayers instead of fully engaging with society.

Tests carried out by reading the label on a packet of Waitrose luxury muesli have revealed that it contains a large percentage of horse food. As a result, all supermarkets are removing muesli products from their shelves ‘as a precautionary measure’.