Now

I'm sitting here, in my room alone. And I feel so calm, I'm thinking about tonight, and my plans. I can't convince myself to stay here any longer. I think my mum would get over my death, not quickly, but in time she would. My boyfriend would too, he would cry lots. I've got a method, and now I feel like I have the confidence to carry it out.

I know that this is my fate, and what I deserve. I can't run away from my fate, so I'm going to face up to it.

I really hope it hurts him a lot, I hope he jumps off a cliff and dies a painful death for everything he has done to me and my family.

Life is your fate/destiny. Along with life comes pain that is unbearable at times. Often, it's in those times of anguish that we feel at peace about dying. I've been in that peaceful place, but when I came out, I discovered it was a false peace. Real peace comes not from what we say or even feel. It can only come from our inner spiritual resources. Words serve our own purposes. Feelings are not reality, and they can lie.

i can relate to yr anger towards your boyfriend and those feelings but u should either forgive him and try and move foward our if u feel he hasent changed then move foward without him! i stuck around horbering the same feelings towards my ex girlfrieind and the whole situiotion blew up in my face. i should have gotten out years ago.