Sunday, October 7, 2012

TOP TEN LESSER KNOWN POLICY POSITIONS OF MITT ROMNEY

10. Team Jacob
9. Favors shortening "eleven" to just "leven" (Finally somebody has the courage!)
8. He's opposed to murdering kittens
7. Bobberball should be an olympic sport
6. Always says couch, never sofa
5. Favors a final solution for the nation's cat problem.
4. Federal recognion of "never nudes" as mental illness (An issue that's very personal to him.)
3. Techno Viking to be named head of the joint chiefs of staff.
2. Wants to bring bust of Bill and Ted back into the Oval Office.
1. Once elected, he intends to assign Dog the Bounty Hunter head of a high profile task force to finally put the sasquatch question to rest. "Smoke him out, Dog."