Sexiest woman alive: Mila Kunis (unfunny, unconservative)

The 29-year-old, Ukrainian-born actress follows in the footsteps of last year's sexiest woman alive, Rihanna. In which case we weren't telling Chris Brown anything he doesn't know. But that's another story.

Alas, the interview strikes a blow to those who thought they saw signs last year that Kunis might be a rare conservative among the Hollywood ranks.

The "Friends With Benefits" star accepted a sergeant's invitation to the Marine Corps Ball last year, and by all accounts had a good time.

Kunis also told GQ around the same time, regarding friends-with-benefits type relationships, "It's like communism — good in theory, in execution it fails." At the time, the conservative blogosphere's heart skipped a beat.

But while she may be no Communist, she's apparently not a GOP woman either.

"The way that Republicans attack women is so offensive to me," she tells Esquire. "And the way they talk about religion is offensive. I may not be a practicing Jew, but why we gotta talk about Jesus all the time? And it’s baffling to me how a poor person in Georgia can say, 'I’m a Republican.' Why?"

Another revelation: She says she's not really funny, either.

"I just know how to deliver a joke. There are people who naturally exude humor and are constantly saying funny things, and there are the people who know how to deliver a joke. It's a learned skill. Through twenty years of doing this, I practice it. I think that the second you think that you're funny is when you stop being funny."