Kate Gosselin Like a Face Lifted Phoenix

I'm not sure how much a river of Botox is in cc's, but Kate Gosselin is looking fine at forty. There's no reason she can't take another dozen embryos into her shudder pouch and give them life on camera. Now that the Duggars have been exposed for not being the normal kind of dangerously reproducing compound fanatics, Gosselin's eight kids once again seems like a big deal. TLC is scrambling to get more Kate Plus Eight shows on the air with some enhanced dramatic through lines. In the emergency produced summer pickup, three of the kids will be injected with ebola with the cure being just slightly more than Kate can afford on her alimony and self-help books on vagina rejuvenation. It's not quite as dramatic as molesting your little sisters in their sleep, but watching tweens extrude themselves to death is a ratings bonanza. If only Kate had the working facial muscles left to cry. Somebody get the squirt gun. Punch her first so her eyes turn red. Absolutely, closed fist.