Things To Do This Weekend.

Brace For Impact.

Well when you’re sitting back in your rose pink Cadillac, making bets on Kentucky Derby Day, I’ll be in my computer room, browsing through to-do’s, looking for some action around town to take my pain away.

Fortunately for you, there’s plenty things to do, all weekend long, too, around these parts. Just take a peek down, little Susie, and see what we mean below. — Cory Graves

FridayMigos at South Side Ballroom
This band is literally a meme. They somehow managed to transform themselves into walking, talking memes. — Paul Wedding

Daniel Markham (Album Release) at Shipping and Receiving
Local Denton musician Daniel Markham is holding a concert for the release of his newest album, Disintegrator. And if his lead single is any indicator, it’s shaping up to be another solid release from Markham with an equal amount of sincere, smart songwriting and an atmospheric band to back him — though a little more acoustic oriented than his previous material. Also performing is Collin Herring. — PW

Grand Opening at Dallas Farmers Market
The Dallas Farmers Market is opening back up, and with that brings an assortment of fruits, vegetables, and other locally made products brought to give the people of Dallas a healthy, sustainable diet. There’s going to be live entertainment and the first 225 guests will be given free gear. — PW

Ethereal & the Queer Show at Rubber Gloves
There’s a lot of stuff going on EATQS’s new Fairy Super Crystal Blue LP to be sure. It’d be easy for the band to have really run with some of the more chaotic synth lines and really overwhelm the listener. As it were, though, the band does a really excellent job here of finding space and opening up what could have potentially been a sensory-overloading piece of experimental racket into a really nice piece batch of synth pop. The album released digitally last week, and it’s fucking awesome. Don’t sleep on it — especially since this might be one of your last chances to party at Gloves. — CG

Venue Remodel Reveal Party at Double Wide
After over a decade in Deep Ellum, the Double Wide (much like one of its nearby neighbors) decided a few months back that it was time its space underwent a bit of a makeover. And so, for the past few months, owner Kim Finch, along with help from contractor Eric Schmidt and her Double Wide staff, has been steadily making improvements to the beloved establishment’s venue space. Now, she and her crew are finally ready for their room’s big unveiling, which comes this weekend with a pair of remodel reveal parties this Friday and Saturday night. The first night features sets from Dead Flowers, A. Sinclair and Vandoliers, chicken shit bingo, the Photo Wagon and more. — Brandon Mikeal

Blade Runner: Final Cut at Inwood Theatre
If you’ve yet to see this Harrison Ford-led adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep yet, you’ve only got a short while longer before its meaning totally shifts. The ’80s-made film which depicts the futuristic dystopian society of America circa 2019 is going to seem pretty silly four years from now when things look nothing like they do in the cult classic. Of course it’ll be all the more chilling if it was right on the money all along. — CG

Jay Oakerson at Addison Improv
Jay Oakerson is a comedian focused on storytelling, typically stories of the absurd. Gangbangs, strippers, escorts and so forth. In the same vein of humor as that, he hosts a podcast called Legion of Skanks as well as another podcast called 0The Bonfire. As well as making appearances on Comedy Central Presents and Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. — PW

Big Night at Trinity River Audubon Center
The Trinity River Audubon Center is hosting its annual Big Night designed to raise money for Big Thought, an organization that funds programs that help under-served students. All ticket proceeds will go to Big Thought. The event includes craft beer and wine, tapas, a s’mores bar and live music from Paradise in the Sun. — PW

William Clark Green at Billy Bob’s
William Clark Green is a Texas country musician known for his very direct, very non-subtle songwriting. His latest hit is a song about a drug and alcohol-ridden circus. Despite this, he still falls into a lot of typical country conventions. Oh well, even though you can’t smoke in this venue anymore, his set should still be fire. — PW

Wild Belle at House of Blues
WIld Belle is a Chicago pair of siblings, Eliot and Natalie Bergman, that can’t really be pinned down to a single genre. They’ve got a bizarre mixture of rock, electronic, and jazz and it just kind of works. One of the benefits of the genre mixing is that a lot of their songs sound vastly different, in tempo, tone, even the incredibly ranged voice of Natalie Bergman changes style between songs. They’ve got everything from slow and smokey to quick and dancey. James Supercave opens. — PW

Uncle Lucius at Kessler Theater
It’s hard enough for most bands to work through all their creative differences — at least enough to so to record a few albums. Austin-based Southern Rockers Uncle Lucius somehow manage the feat with five songwriters in the band. More power to ’em, we say. — CG

Lincoln Durham at Three Links
Lincoln Durham is a southern rock musician with a particularly dark spin to his music. There’s a heavy country sound with a tone as angry as Durham’s own voice, furious and powerful. The lyrics go hand-in-hand with this, many of them Poe-esque tales of horror. Vincent Neil Emerson opens. — PW

Acoustic Nerves at 2516 N. Beckley
Acoustic Nerves is a music showcase supported by the City of Dallas in order to provide an area for the musicians, artists and performers to experiment with their artwork and push boundaries in front of a crowd. And they’ll be doing that for three nights straight with such experimental artists as Therefore, anteroom, Triangulum and Böhm. — PW

SaturdaySturgill Simpson at The Bomb Factory (Sold Out)
In an era when the Jason Aldeans and Luke Bryans of the world have made country music the butt of most every music joke, Simpson’s music is a breath of fresh air. After a pair of records that sound like the lost recordings of Waylon Jennings, his latest album, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth is the thing a thousand think pieces are made of. There’s some string and horn laden ’70s country in there, sure, but also some scuzzy rock, lots of good poetry and the makings of a concept record. While many in the industry are calling him the genre’s savior, Sturgill’s awe shucks demeanor is a dead giveaway he’s not concerned with any of that. Rather, he’s just interested in making some really damn good country. — CG

Dallas Stars vs St. Louis Blues at American Airlines Center
After a Game 4 thriller in St. Louis, Your Dallas Stars return to Dallas with home ice advantage and the series knotted up at two games apiece. One note about this one for those planning on scoring tickets, it starts at noon to avoid conflicting with the Kentucky Derby. — CG

Fort Worth Taco Fest at Panther Island Pavilion (Sold Out)
As attendees of last weekend’s Dallas-set Taco Libre festival, we can tell you firsthand that taco festivals are the perfect place for over-indulging. And with their small size, street tacos are the perfect food for sampling. That’s good, because there’ll be more than a dozen taco vendors on site, and you’ll want to try them all. — CG

Abbey Road on the Square at Strauss Square
This Beatles cover band festival will feature several faux Fab Fours — The Newbees, BritBeat, All You Need Is Love, Jukebox — and at the end of the day, they’ll all join forces to try to recreate the Cirque du Soleil-spawned Love remix album with a live band. All you need is love a nice blanket to spread out on. — CG

2016 Swiss Avenue Historic District Mother’s Day Home Tour
If you’re still trying to come up with a Mother’s Day present, this might be a good one. You’re touring six historic homes on Swiss Avenue while riding in a horse carriage. There’s also going to be live entertainment at Savage Park along with a lot of homemade candles and jewelry and the like. It’s pretty much designed to make moms happy. — PW

Strawberry Jam Contest at Dallas Farmer’s Market
Life is too short to refrain from eating jam out of the jar. So, why not come on down and try some of the jam they’ll be making at the Dallas Farmers Market? Or enter the contest and see how your own jam holds up. There will also be a raffle where you have a chance to win a full jar of your favorite jam. Strawberry jam was always the best flavor anyway. — PW

“It Came From Beyond The Border” at 500x Gallery
“It Came From Beyond the Border” is the new display of work from sculptor Angel Cabrales and Bernardo Cantu, who specializes in making art showcasing Hispanic culture in a unique way, combining paint, fabric and other materials to create it with. The exhibition will continue through June 7. —PW

Jake Shimabukuro at Kessler Theater
Shimabukuro is a Hawaiian ukulele virtuoso known for his fast, dexterous finger work, and for taking the oft-slighted instrument to places you never thought possible. Whether that means you’ll find his work awe-inspiring or just interesting enough not to want to rip the thing from his hands and smash it really just depends on where the uke rates in your book. Still, he must be doing something right to warrant playing two shows in one night at this venue. — CG

Kentucky Derby Day at Lone Star Park
In addition to watching the big horse race, you can bet on horse races while watching horse races, while another horse race is playing. That’s a lot of horse races. There’s also going to be live music by Incognito and a hat contest. — PW

Sebastian Bach at Trees
After spending a couple decades fronting acts like Skid Row and Hep Alien, Sebastian Bach’s doing the ol’ solo thing tonight — though, he’s more likely to cover a tune from one of his old band than the other. Generator and Junk open, neither of which was on Gilmore Girls. — CG

One-Year Anniversary at TUPPs Brewery
TUPPS is a local McKinney brewery taking pride in its Texas heritage, and they’ll be honoring their first year in business today with an anniversary party. VIPs will get to try first tappings of some brand new beers, and general admission promises three beers as well as a commemorative pint glass. There will be live music from Matt Tedder, Chris Watson and Petty Theft. — PW

Beer Yoga at Collective Brewing Project
Combine the inner comfort of alcohol with the inner comfort of yoga. Unfortunately, you only get your three pours of beer after the yoga session. Namaste, er, um, cheers. — PW

Kentucky Derby Bash at The Rustic
The Kentucky Derby only lasts, like, two minutes. But the festivities last all day long. The Rustic is going to be having a live couples costume contest with prizes as well as live music provided by The British Are Coming. — PW

Green Room Movie + Concert at Texas Theatre
If you love, gory, grindhouse-style action movies, Green Room is the movie for you. It’s a punk band figthing against a gang of Nazi club owners, lead by Patrick fucking Stewart. It’s brutal to watch and just a real joy of a movie to see. It knows what it is, and it excels at that. Along with the screening will be a concert, featuring real life punk bands Mind Spiders, Whimper and Hate Your Friends. — PW

Dallas Cinco de Mayo at Jefferson Boulevard
It’s a big Cinco de Mayo festival with a parade, tailgating, vendors and live music. I don’t really know why it’s not on May 5, I guess they wanted kids to be able to go to it. Anyway, it looks to be a fun, free event for the community. — PW

Women in Comedy at The Wild Detectives
Not sure if the fact that most comedians move to L.A. or New York once they start becoming a little successful, but the most popular comedian in Dallas at the moment is a 10-year-old girl named Saffron. The superstar-in-the-making does her blue comedy at this Oak Cliff coffee shop as part of its month-long initiative to highlight women in the arts. Lisa Stogner and a whole bunch others do, too. Women galore! — CG

Bear Mountain at Dada
Not the locally-based metal band Bare Mountain, this would be the Vancouver-based electro band. Fellow Canucks, Young Empires, co-headline. Come, eh? — CG

Graham Nash at Granada Theater
I’ll light the fire, you grab tickets to see the “N” in CSNY whilst they’re still some left. He’s goot no opener either, just him taking up the whole night with his decades upon decades of hits. — CG

Two-Year Anniversary at So & So’s
To mark its second completed year in business, So & So’s presents a burlesque-themed Moulin Rouge party complete with tunes from DJ Niro and complimentary champagne.

SundayPaul Simon at Winspear Opera House
You know Paul Simon, he’s that short guy who cameo’d in a music video with Chevy Chase and sang a bunch of songs with Art Garfunkel. Unlike the time he came through with Sting, co-headlining the AAC, he’ll be playing the much more intimate — and loads better sounding — Winspear this time around. — Jeremy Hughes

Father at RBC
How much had you accomplished by the time you were 24? We ask, because 24-year-old Mississippi-born rapper Father is already running his own indie label, Awful Records. But you probably know him from this single. His flow is effortless and bouncy as hell. There’s no way you could have a bad experience at a performance of Father — especially considering Tommy Genesis and The Outfit open. — Lauren Rushing

Tortoise at Dada
Remember when The Argo closed and The Melodica Festival was forced to go on what the Observer once referred to as “a failed trip” down to Austin in the late ’90s? And remember when Tortoise played the fest that year. A couple decades later, the ’90s post-rockers have not only outlived that noise fest, but is still making interesting new music. Chris Brokaw opens. — CG

The Graduate at Majestic Theatre
Long before there were labels for Generation X or Millennials, there was still plenty of ennui and isolation among twentysomethings. Mike Nichols, who won the Oscar for directing, perfectly captured that drift we’ve all felt. The shorthand for this movie — the Simon & Garfunkel soundtrack, “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” — has probably crept into your subconscious. But it’s so much deeper, funnier and sadder than you remember. And it has one of the best endings of all time. — Kip Mooney

A Space Program at Texas Theatre
This doc takes a look at artist Tom Sachs’ intriguing 2012 installation, which featured actors living on a spaceship set built from repurposed material materials. This behind-the-scenes look gives a nice intro to the artist’s inventive work. — KM