David Copperfield’s being investigated for raping a woman in the Bahamas. Too bad he didn’t think to make her disappear once he was done. (I know, I know. Easy joke. Sorry. Rape is not funny. But David Copperfield rape? A little funny, guys. Admit it.) [Celebslam]

THE anticipated presence of Chelsea Clinton and her parents at an Oct. 27 wedding in Washington, D.C., has the planners in a tizzy. Chelsea’s childhood best friend, Nicole Davison, is marrying hedge-fund analyst Michael Fox. Chelsea, the maid of honor, will be there with her parents. Guests are being warned not to bother Bill and Hillary Clinton. When the ex-president hosted the couple’s engagement party at his Chappaqua home, some guests were told to be on their “best behavior” and avoid talking to the family about inappropriate topics.

Um, Bill Clinton? Will you please host my engagement party, too? I just think it would be fun. And expensive. I promise I’ll be nice to Chelsea and not make fun of her for having to spend her most awkward years in the White House.

British singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse was arrested in Norway for marijuana possession and held overnight, a police official said Friday.

Winehouse, her husband Blake Fielder-Civil and a third person were released at around 7:00 a.m. Friday after paying $715 in fines, Prosecutor Lars Morten Lothe said.

The trio were arrested shortly after 6 p.m. at a hotel in Bergen in southwestern Norway, where Winehouse is on a European tour, after a tip to police.

“They were found with seven grams (about 1/4-ounce)of marijuana,” Lothe said. “She’s paid the fine, so this thing is over for us now.”

Damn, I wanna smoke weed in Norway.

In the U.S., it’s a little more complicated, isn’t it? I’m not a weed person, and I’ve never been arrested for it, so I’m not really sure. Anyone around here been caught with a quarter-ounce of weed in another country? Did you get off this easy?

“We’re taking power from the word. No disrespect to none of them who were part of the civil rights movement, but some … in the streets don’t know who (civil rights activist) Medgar Evers was … they know who Nas is. And to my older people who don’t know who Nas is and who don’t know what a street disciple is, stay outta this motherfucking conversation. We’ll talk to you when we’re ready. Right now, we’re on a whole new movement. We’re taking power from that word.”

I don’t have it in my to summarize or be snarky about these stories anymore, but it’s my job to bring them to you.

TMZ has learned that Britney Spears stood up her parenting coach yesterday, and apparently, it’s the last straw for the coach.

Sources say Britney had a scheduled time to meet the coach yesterday at her Malibu home. The coach made the trek, but no Britney.

We’re told during the hearing earlier this week, the coach phoned in and asked the Commissioner if she could end the home visits, presumably because they were going nowhere. Seems like Britney was ignoring the coach — like everyone else who gives her advice.