Had a 20w scan late yesterday evening. We were in there for about an hour and a half because there's a critical measurement on the brain which they couldn't see because junior was too lazy to move, naughty thing. Naughty boy, as it turns out.

I've got myself in a bit of a tizzy overnight because there was some evidence of a cyst on the visible side of the brain, which apparently is perfectly normal but may be an indicator of a problem if the ventricles are dilated on the other side. The consultant played it down, and said primarily it was an indicator of downs, which we've pretty much ruled out as we had a 'harmony' test privately.

Only thing is, when I went home I did a bit of furtive googling when the OH wasn't looking, and what they didn't say is it's also potentially an indicator of problems caused by shingles, and I had shingles a couple of weeks back. It could mean brain damage.

So now I'm really doing my pieces, but in silence so as to try not to worry him indoors.

I've got everything crossed for my appointment, particularly as the OH is pretty hard line when it comes to termination for these issues. Apologies to anyone offended by that, I know it's a bit contentious...

Hey honey can totally understand your worry. I have a very close cousin who has downs and watching her grow and still remain a baby has its own mixed feelings.

Although me and my OH did not go for a test of down syndrome, as getting to know something could be wrong would have been devastating as well as difficult choice.

But to be brutally honest, I feel that parents who are able to cope and raise their special kids are Angels in disguise. The level of patience and endurance they exhibit in loving their child is purely remarkable.

I have seen my own uncle and aunty with my cousin sister. But now my uncle who is nearing 60 is in chronic depression (and as you can imagine a lot of it is because of my cousin's condition). And my aunty has two people to worry about (being a dependent house-wife she is pretty lost these days and always keep thinking that something would go wrong).

the decision to terminate is surely hard to any parent-to-be, especially if you are looking forward to it. but at the same time you have to honestly judge your own abilities and levels of endurance - because while a relationship can go bad on a choice like termination, the relationship can also go bad because of parents having different and non-complimentary levels of endurance. So ofcourse it requires a lot of talking out between you and your partner. On what if things are not right - what life you want for your child and your own self and as a family.

Having said that - I hope that things come out fine and much better than you are anticipating in your next scan. And i pray that your apprehensions be just the false maternal alarm of anxiety.

Thank you for being so lovely, both of you. The results were confirmed that the ventricles are slightly enlarged and deemed 'borderline'. I think this means about a 1 in 10 chance of some brain damage. Could be caused by toxoplasmosis or some other factor. Doc thinks it probably wasn't shingles.

Gotta go back in 3 weeks and have another scan. Going to be a long 3 weeks!

It will be a long 3weeks hun. But you got to stay positive. I lost my first daughter at 20 weeks she had turners syndrome and numerous other problems.i had my scan then bk to see consultant next day and she'd died but she was very poorly but if she had survived I wouldn't have terminated I just couldnt and sometimes men can't understand that they are part of us. You stay positive good chance all will be well with your gorgeous little man and if you need chat or anything we here xx

Omg the worry and anguish is so hard for you to have to go through.... I can only pray that it works out ok Lou.... Likewise we are due a 20wk scan very shortly and I'm beside myself with worry for my wife hoping all ok...

There are so many hurdles to get through for you & every step seems fraught with complication.

I'm loving the way my wife looks and how happy she is being pregnant but worried that the slightest thing could upset this totally.