Never Too Hungover

One of the most perplexing and enduring mysteries in history is the hangover. Of course, everyone thinks they know what causes the feeling of abject wretchedness following an overindulgence of alcohol: dehydration, vitamin depletion, low electrolytes, too much acetaldehyde, blah, blah, blah. Here's the truth: Scientists don't know for sure why you feel like a burnt turd the day after a booze binge.

Considering the human race has been nursing a hangover since it permanently gave up living in trees a couple hundred thousand years ago, the lack of a universally accepted morning-after cure is rather shocking (not that we haven't tried: According to Scientific American, ancient Greeks relied on a breakfast of sheep lungs and owl eggs to clear their heads after a spree, while Sicilians scarfed dried bull penis and the Mongols downed tomato juice and pickled sheep's eyes).

Though there's no such thing as a silver bullet (other than simple abstention, duh), Never Too Hungover® from The Hangover Experts® comes highly recommended.

With an 82 percent four- to five-star rating out of 237 reviews on Amazon and a nod from no less than LA Weekly, this 0 sugar, 0 carb, low-calorie "proprietary" blend of amino acids, antioxidants, minerals, nutrients and vitamins calls itself "the best way to help prevent or recover from a hangover." It's a bold claim, but it has to work better than dehydrated bull wang.