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Pretty Girls Rock: “Daddy, I want to be white”

I hear a lot of talk about how race doesn’t matter today. About how overblown racial differences are. I hear that technology has not only built bridges across oceans but also diffused racial tensions and blurred the color barrier. I almost sorta kinda but not really was buying into it, until this weekend. This weekend snapped me back into reality and gave me the wake up call I needed. This weekend, my 4-yr old daughter crushed my world. She looked me in the eye and had a conversation about race in america that not even Soledad O’Brien can contextualize. She said, “I want to be white.” She told her mother that she wanted to buy some cream, that she saw on TV, to “clear” her skin. All this is after a few incidents at her daycare (where she is one of four black children in a facility with hundreds of kids) made us begin to question our decision in early childcare.

I realized 3 things (not including me crying and giving out black history lessons like candy at Halloween) after this conversation with my daughter. These 3 things are something every black woman needs to know:

1. Don’t Believe the Hype!:
No matter how hard media and societal norms hit you over the head with “standardized” version of beauty…DONT BELIEVE THE HYPE!! The images and ideals of beauty that we see everyday don’t line up with reality. Don’t try to mold yourself in these images, instead focus on the beautiful and powerful women in your life. Focus on developing your personality and your personal style will follow. And know that you are FINE, God created you for HIS PURPOSE!

2. Know the truth: you have been the world’s MOTIVATION:
Sisters you have been the prototype forever. From the great dynasties of Kemet all the way to the video vixen, every curve of your body is the inspiration of femininity! Every move you makes sets global trends. The power that rest in your soul is enough to shape a man all by yourself if you have to!! You are a PHENOMENAL WOMAN! Why would you put sprite in a coke bottle, you’re already the real thing!

3. AFFIRM THE TRUTH!
Everyday you should look in the mirror and remind yourself that you rock! And remember that more than once in your life you will be the rock of your family, friends, and community. Tell yourself what I tell my daughter when I wake her up in the morning, “good morning my beautiful black princess, are you ready to run into your greatness today?”

I don’t care what end of the black spectrum you fall on, you are a pretty girl and PRETTY GIRLS ROCK!

*men, brothers, please take heed to this message!! please look your daughter in the eye and tell her she is beautiful! please treat your wife, baby momma, gal, momma, auntie, whomever…like she is special. your kids are watching!

Awesome article!
It is so important to make certain we expose our kids to the history, contributions and culture of AA to make certain they are informed that the standard of beauty should be measured in all forms and that they are beautiful too no matter what shade or hair texture!

Chris, I think this is perfect…and beautiful. It saddens me to continplate the struggles that the little girls in America (and abroad) face with realistic views of themselves. While I am a white woman, I was raised in a house where beauty had nothing to do with color- unless in reference to a painting or piece of artwork. I was raised that being a girl brings future responsibilities that are not guarded by what color my skin is. I can be anything I want…without worries of my gender, color of skin, religious preference, or political stand. My reach is never interrupted. My parents, nor family (that I can remember), never judged the color of the skin of my friends, but by their character. Peers that carried the same goals and ambitions were more important to my parents than any of the stereotypical views based on their skin color.
I think it is important to every parent to express, ESPECIALLY to their daughters, their “GR8TNIS”. Woman of America have come a long way and have fought for MANY of the same struggles the black historians faught for. The right to vote, the right to work, the right to be a part of our military…all things both woman and African-American’s have yearned for since their exhistance.
So, my friend, I say to you- continue to pave the way for your daughter. Remind her of her worth. Strive to help her understand that her abilities and the abilities she sees in other should not be judged by her skin color. Infact, it is the very act of helping her to see the worth in others that will hopefully set the future for her children and grandchildren to not see the color of someones skin as a factor of their worth.
“Write” on my friend, Right on!
~Jaclyn Smith (Rogers)