List Criteria: Vote up the grossest fast food employee moment that makes your stomach turn even more than a supersize order of uber-greasy chilli cheese fries.

Those nutty fast food workers. One moment they’re delivering robotic customer service, and the next they’re hawking spit in your lime Slurpee. Gross, right? Thing is, if caught on film or camera, the awful actions of these bad employees are a viral goldmine. For some reason, folks just love to watch dumb kids in fast food uniforms doing really gross stuff as they compete for the worst people on the planet awards.

Let’s just admit it: Most fast food is disgusting food anyway – well, at least in the nutritional sense. When you combine low pay with low skills, it kind of makes sense that occasionally there’s gonna be a disgusting soul working among workers. Take a look at the grossest fast food employee moments.

I can’t tell you which chain I worked at, but you know it. You’ve been to it probably more than once. It’s not the biggest, but it’s in the top 5. And my experience is not the exception to the rule.

1. If you are a girl working the drive-thru window (like I was many times) you will definitely get hit on in really obvious and offensive ways. And the manager won’t do anything about it.

2. That picture that went around the internet of a big woman sitting on a chair in the line at a fast food restaurant: That is not unusual. In fact, usually customers who do that are much, much bigger than her and they will drag a chair around with them everywhere they go.

3. Almost any time you try and engage in any kind of polite conversation with the customers, they will either completely ignore you or respond to you in an even more aggravated way. “How are you today?” is just met with their food order.

4. A lot of customers are so big and look so physically unhealthy that you almost feel like a bartender who should be cutting them off. They’ll order family packs and three value meals and you can’t do anything about it, even though you know it’s killing them.

5. A good percentage of the customers are regulars, some multiple times a day.

6. The ice machine is by far the grossest place in the whole restaurant. It gets cleaned out sometimes, but not as often as it should, because it’s a job no one wants to do and everyone thinks “Oh, it’s frozen, it can’t be that bad.”

7. The managers were always on the verge of quitting, or brand new, so the cleaning never got done the way it should. Everyone just wanted to go home at the end of the day so the rule became “If you can’t see dirt, it’s clean.”

8. Never look under the grill in a fast food restaurant. Just, don’t do it.

9. Pretty much everything comes in frozen, and the stuff that doesn’t, you almost wish it did.

10. If you are ordering something that isn’t very popular on the menu, ALWAYS order it fresh and wait the extra five minutes. I’ve seen things stay under the heating lamps for an entire shift because no one orders it. If you get it at the end of that, it will taste and feel like cardboard.

11. One time I found a bug in the french fries while I was scooping them out and my boss just told me to throw it away and keep scooping.

12. The soft serve machines never get cleaned out. In my year and a half at this location, I never once saw anyone give it a thorough internal cleaning.

13. The most depressing thing you see by far is morbidly obese toddlers and children who are already eating one or more grown-up value meals with extra large sodas.

14. The safest orders on a menu are: the most popular sandwich, chicken nuggets, and french fries. The turnover on them is so high that there’s very little chance anything bad has happened to them.

15. I’ve never seen anyone spit in someone’s food (though I know it happens), but I’ve definitely seen multiple things dropped on the floor and then wrapped up and served. The five second rule is more like the thirty second rule.

16. Most employees are not allowed to take lunch breaks during shifts so we are STARVING through the whole afternoon.

17. Pretty much every employee is talking shit about the customers at all times, but I think that even normal people become absolutely insane and so rude when they order fast food. They act like we’re their slaves and they don’t have to have manners. And then there are the people who are so socially untrained they basically can’t eat anywhere else.

18. The worst customers are the homeless people who yell at you and the teenagers who sit in the corner for hours, make a mess, and try to sneak alcohol in their cups. It’s impossible to tell which is worse of the two.

19. Almost none of the employees at my location were teenagers. Most were working parents who were supporting themselves with multiple jobs, or people like me who were college students.

20. Even if the calories are marked a certain amount on the website, the products are all way more fattening than that because of how much grease is used on the grill.

21. Even if something says it’s vegetarian, chances are it’s probably not. If you’re trying to stick to any special diet, my advice is to not go to a fast food restaurant. It’s just not for you.

Hillary Clinton once wrote about it taking a village to raise a kid. Whether or not you’re a Clinton fan, it’s tough to fault her basic premise, that being that there are things outside of your control that will impact your child’s development.

And so it goes with so many things in life. No matter how carefully we prepare and execute, we are helplessly reliant on the actions of others for the activities we plan to proceed smoothly. Nowhere is this principal better realized than at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.

According to one version of history, the first drive-thru lane of any stripe opened in 1930 at a bank in St. Louis. Rumor has it that the first time anyone yelled “Get a move on, will ya” from a running car was at that bank later the same day.

How many times have you pulled into a McDonald’s, looking for nothing more than a quick cup of coffee or large Diet Coke, only to have your schedule utterly decimated by the guy in front of you in the drive-thru queue holding a conversation with the cashier through a speaker phone.

Indeed, the drive-thru lane is a crap shoot, one which can pay off big in terms of time saved, or ruin your morning by trapping you in a hellish swirling vortex of exact-change seekers and menu-question askers. I humbly submit the following in hopes of improving drive-thru efficiency.

Attached please find the 10 Essential Rules of Drive-Thru Etiquette. Feel free to copy the rules and distribute them at your favorite drive-thru. And remember, you may be ready to zip through the drive-thru, but if the other villagers aren’t in a hurry, you’re probably screwed.

Pay Attention. Your text message is not more important than me getting my Diet Coke. Pull up and be alert about it. You can text your BFF about the rude idiot honking behind you in line later.

Know What You Want. Seriously, it’s McDonald’s (or Burger King, whatever) everything is a freaking muffin of some sort with eggs and/or sausage. If you’re looking for a little breakfast variety, you are in the wrong place. If you have any questions to ask about menu items, PARK AND GO INSIDE.

No Special Orders. If you are only substituting bacon for sausage, I guess that’s fine—though even that can slow things up. But, if you’re going off the menu with such cashier confounding requests as “folded not fried eggs” (I’ve actually heard this) or extra-crispy hash browns (I’ve heard this, too), PARK AND GO INSIDE.

No Bulk Orders. If your messed up, crossed-out, and heavily redacted fast-food shopping list includes stuff for more than 3 people, PARK AND GO INSIDE.

Order at one time. Dude, seriously, the cashier is listening. You do not need verbal confirmation for each and every item you are ordering. Additionally, you do not need to stop ordering to yell “hello” several times while placing your order. The odds are really good that the speaker is working. Perhaps you need visual confirmation that you are being listened to, in which case you should PARK AND GO INSIDE.

Your kids get one shot. I am talking to you, minivan lady. The drive-thru is no place for a Grand Caravan with more than one kid in it. And why are you always surprised that there are choices involved when ordering a Happy Meal? If your kid can’t make up his or her mind about apple slices or french fries, PARK AND GO INSIDE.

Be ready to pay. The order screen is there for a couple of reasons, one of which is to alert you as to how much you owe for the McWhatever. The time to begin scrounging for exact change is not when you reach the window.

Additionally, if you think there’s any chance your credit or debit card is going to be rejected…1., maybe you should be eating at home? or 2. PARK AND GO INSIDE.

No chatting up the help. She’s a cashier, not a bartender. I am truly sorry about the lack of warmth in your life, but chatting up the cashier at McDonald’s is not going to fill that gaping chasm in your soul. If you’re serious about trying to woo the young lady, you could try hanging around until her break, but that’s just as likely to earn you an audience with a free-coffee-wielding law keeper.

Do not change your order. Nothing messes up the system like drive-thru patrons that modify their orders at the pay window. Seriously, what was it about the last twenty feet you traveled that compelled you to swap your McGriddle for a McMuffin? Here’s a helpful hint for the wishy-washy: Order one of each, and warm up the one you don’t want now for breakfast tomorrow.

You got your stuff, just go! Why did you just put your car in park? How long do you think this is going to take? Per Dante, there is now a level of hell for the people who actually unwrap each sandwich and inspect it while still at the pick-up window. And that level-of hell is especially brutal for the folks that then pass the bag they just received back into the store. Really, your ridiculously customized special order isn’t just right? Maybe next time you should PARK AND GO INSIDE.