Fremont couple killed in Idaho car crash

A few years back we ran a story on Stella Lopez Armijo and her partner Ina Murri. From what I can gather it was about being gay and growing old together. The couple died this month in a car crash on their way to a family get-together for Murri. They were both about 75.

Our archives are mercurial. I wasn’t able to find that front-page story, but I did find their recipe for for a piquant pumpkin pie with a tasty gingerbread crust, which also ran in the Argus several years ago and a Mercury News story from the 1994 about their love for Rosanne. To read about it, click where it says to click:Piquant Pumpkin Pie

ELEGANT in her long black dress, pink tulips on the table by her side, the author gazed thoughtfully across the podium at a woman who had shouted a question. She considered her reply. ”No. I’m not gonna come down there and sign your . . . book. Get in line, you lazy bitch.”

When you’re loved for saying exactly what you think, then you can say exactly what you think to the people who love you. That’s what Roseanne Arnold did Saturday night at Masonic Auditorium, where close to 3,000 people paid $16 each to see “A Reading and Conversation” with the TV star, Vanity Fair cover model and author of the just-released “My Lives.”

The event, a benefit for the Women’s Foundation, had a Streisand-in-Vegas aura to it; it was a love-fest from the opening standing ovation to the end, when hundreds of fans formed a book-signing line that stretched up the center aisle, through the foyer and out across the vast lobby of the Masonic.

And the star was up to the occasion. There was a potential for strangeness in the foulmouthed, multi-personalitied, famously sarcastic and allegedly abused Arnold coming to Nob Hill to do a book reading. But during her 90- minute program — with help during the second half from her husband, Tom — she worked the same magic that she does every Tuesday night on “Roseanne, ” turning the auditorium into her living room and the audience into her extended, captivated family.

That family was a wildly varied one: lesbians and gays; co-dependents and survivors; large women in polyester and small men in tuxedos; families from the suburbs and young couples who looked like they’d gotten lost on the way to the symphony. Some were drawn by her support of various causes, some simply because they like her comedy, but all mentioned a love of her outspokenness.

She says things like they need to be said, ” declared InaMurriof Fremont. Stella Lopez-Armijo was more emphatic. “She says things I wish I had the guts to say.”

Murriand Lopez-Armijo, both 59-year-old Fremont retirees, arrived early and sat quietly in the lobby waiting for the doors to open. A couple for nearly 14 years, they said they appreciate Arnold’s support of lesbians and gays, and the presence of lesbian characters on “Roseanne”: “She’s not afraid. It’s just there, ” said Lopez-Armijo.

Lopez-Armijo wasn’t as happy with Arnold’s allegations of child abuse against her parents. “I’m having a hard time with it, frankly. . . . I’m not sure if I believe her.”

But believers far outnumbered doubters in the partisan crowd. “I believe everything she says, ” said Barbara Campbell, 46, of Castro Valley. “I’m a survivor, too. I don’t think she’d make it up.”

“I believe her, ” said Shelley Ganshow, 26, of Mountain View. “I think people are real cruel to her. She does crazy things, but because they’re done by a woman, they treat her real bad. Women aren’t supposed to do the things Roseanne does.”

The first half of the program, during which Arnold read from her two books, had the air of a feminist revival meeting — excited, united and somewhat uncritical. When Patty Chang, director of the Women’s Foundation, said in her opening remarks that the share of U.S. philanthropy going to women’s groups had doubled in recent years — from 3 percent to 6 percent — there was an approving roar. Chang, looking alarmed, began to say “That’s not what I . . .” and then gave up.

Arnold — her loose-fitting black dress paired with fancy red hightops with white heels — walked out and began to page through “Roseanne: My Life as a Woman” and “My Lives, ” alternating poems and passages about her childhood with hilarious accounts of her battles to control “Roseanne” the TV show and Roseanne Conner the character.

The reading proceeded like a melodrama, the audience hissing the villains — mostly men — and cheering the virtuous, profane heroine. When Arnold read the already famous exchange from “My Lives” in which “Roseanne” writer Matt Williams says, “I just didn’t think people would like you as the main character, ” there were loud gasps, hisses and boos. Her reply — “I’m she, you dumb bastard!” — drew wild applause.

Even when reading from her own books, Arnold had trouble sticking to the script. Reading a passage that mentioned Woody Allen, she looked up and said, “Woody Allen was a hero of mine, until I found out he was a child molester.” A pause. “It’s just, like, so weird when they all are.”

Tom reads the questions

The mood lightened — and the adulation, if anything, grew — when Tom Arnold sauntered out in military beret and plaid shirt hanging out over black jeans. In the evening’s closest approach to stand-up comedy, he read to Roseanne a few of the hundreds of questions audience members had written on cards beforehand:

(box) What’s the biggest change since you’ve become rich and famous?

“I got good therapy.”

(box) Do genius and insanity always go hand in hand?

“Let’s hold hands, honey!”

(box) Is Hillary Rodham Clinton lesbian?

“I don’t think she is. Who knows. You never know until they tell you.”

(box) What was your most difficult moment?

“Well, when I was in bed with Hillary Rodham Clinton.”

Not all the answers were rapid-fire. A question about which of her personalities is the actress led to a discussion. “Is it the worker or the performer?” “I think maybe it’s both.” A question about “Kiss and Don’t Tell, ” the as-yet-unseen but already notorious “Roseanne” episode in which she and Mariel Hemingway kiss, was answered at length.

“It’s not about a kiss. It’s about questioning your sexuality, ” said Roseanne. “In this country, nobody’s ever supposed to question their sexuality after the age of 14. There are no questions. That’s why we live in such a wonderful world.

“More and more gay characters are starting to show up on TV. But all they do is stay in their rooms and get beat up.”

Tom said that as of Saturday, ABC was not going to show the episode — scheduled for Tuesday night — unedited. “But I won’t deliver it edited, ” he proclaimed, leading to the following exchange:

Tom: “They’ll show it. They’ll show it. They’ll show it.”

Roseanne, doubtful: “It’s not up to us. . . . It’s all about guys and their (penises).”

Tom: “Thank God I got a big one!” Then, glancing nervously to his left, “Well, at least she does.”

The evening’s one real swerve toward weirdness came during a discussion of the 21 different personalities Roseanne claims to have inside her. Tom, head bobbing and feet shuffling in his best puppy-dog style, said, “Tell ‘em about Magic Johnson, honey!” Roseanne clearly didn’t want to, so Tom did, telling a story about “Roger” — her teen-age, basketball-loving personality — running out of the house in shorts to shoot baskets with a visiting Magic.

After Tom made her tell about her favorite hobby — “I like to pick his zits” — Roseanne closed the program by reading the long poem that closes “My Lives.” Unbroken time — connected to itself over

and over and over until the

41st Year

Followed by another standing ovation.

Celebrities in the crowd

After the show, as the line for the book signing began to snake out toward the lobby, fellow writer Armistead Maupin hurried backstage to meet his “hero.”

“She has been for years, ” he said. “I wanted a chance to thank her personally for battling ABC over the issue of same-sex kisses” — a battle Maupin fought, and lost, with U.S. commercial networks over the adaptation of his “Tales of the City.”

“They’re this heroic straight couple, ” he said. “It’s nice to know we have friends like Tom and Roseanne.”

“Angels in America” playwright Tony Kushner sat beside the stage clutching a just-signed copy of “My Lives.” The Pulitzer Prize winner is an “abject fan” fan of Roseanne and “Roseanne.”

“It’s the best thing on television since ‘The Honeymooners, ‘ ” he said.

Arnold’s gift — abundantly displayed Saturday night — is for being real. Not always at ease, certainly not always happy, she always appears to be completely herself. Whether it’s an act or not hardly matters; no other performer has achieved such a seemingly seamless blend of art and life.

‘I can identify with her’

Dwayne Stocks, 31, held a bouquet of roses ready to be thrown on stage. Diagnosed a year ago as HIV-positive, he lives in Oakland and was at the show courtesy of Arnold: She had donated tickets to local AIDS organizations. Smiling, he summed up her universal appeal:

“I can identify with her. She’s like a person.”

On stage, Roseanne and Tom both signed each book handed to them, using thick gold markers. They chatted easily with fans, despite the long line and the late hour; occasionally Tom would gently move along a lingering well- wisher. A plate of truffles sat next to him, away from Roseanne. As 11 o’clock drew near and the line still stretched out of sight, she glanced toward the lobby and then turned to her husband.

Matt Artz

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I was wondering what you mean by “Our archives are mercurial”?
If the Argus doesn’t have a complete historical archive of all editions then who would?

Cathrine

What the hell was this article about?! Two awesome ladies who passed away in a tragic accident or Roseanne Barr 20 years ago. That was really poor, insensitive babblings from some wanna be reporter. Yea thats what the readers wants to see, incompetent reporting. I guess the thought was there (thats about it). Next time, make a little effort!

http://ibabuzz.com Kevin

I appreciate the mention of my wonderful Grandmothers, however, what in the world is this article really about. Two amazing women? How to make a pie? or Roseanne? Go back to and make this right, run a new article, doesn’t have to be long, just mentioning these two and how wonderful they are, maybe mention the charities they would love to have donations of time, money or goods sent to. Be a real reporter and look into what these women have accomplished not only for themselves but for women. Then put a story together about the icons they truly are.