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THE RETURN

Took a little break from blogging due to wallowing in self pity over dumb circumstances…writers block.

Here’s the deal:

I haven’t felt as inspired by life lately. But you know what: I just turned 23, I’m blonde again (aka MYSELF again) and it’s time to make some “New Year’s” resolutions.

In the last couple of months I’ve felt wrung out, like I’m running a race and I can’t see the finish line, and my legs are uneven so I keep falling down and the gatorade guy kicked me in the head on his way to get delicious blue flave to someone else. Something like that.

I felt like this despite the following things totally being true/coming together in the midst of it all:

My friends are great. Seriously.
My parents love and support me and are wells of wisdom.
My mentors are the best. I cannot believe how amazing they are.
My financial situation is turning around in a way that HAS to be God.
Opportunities are opening up right and left.
I got an amazingly gorgeous FREE guitar. SENT to me. Blessing parade.

God is totally stretching my faith and building my character. I can say in the last year I have grown into a WOMAN. That word used to gross me out. Actually I still don’t like it, but it’s what I am. I think cause it reminds of “womb.” WOMB-man. Ew. Though the word “wombat” doesn’t freak me out at all.

For now, lets stick to “WHOA-man.” Cool? K thanks.

ANYWAY

God is good. He is faithful. It’s me that’s such a complaining HO…sea’s wife. My Pastor told me this a few days ago, “God is working on you with the practical things, and not as much the spiritual, so He feels distant and it’s painful. But you’re probably growing more now than you ever did in the super spiritual times.” And you know what…he’s totally right (again.)

It just isn’t FUN right now. I remember when life was FUN. But really, my problem with fun has been I’m not allowing myself to have it. I’ve had this mentality like “Here I am waking up in everything sucks world.” AND ITS SO DUMB. Everything God has for us is ours for the taking, including JOY. So lately I have a new mentality: CHOOSE JOY. I wrote it on my hand to remind myself…and it’s working. Seriously try it:

When that same person uses you as a receptacle for their negativity again– CHOOSE JOY
When some unforeseen task gets in the way of the goals you set our for your day– CHOOSE JOY
When your bank account says $67 and your phone bill says $82– CHOOSE JOY BOO!!!

Because really, what can you do?

Yeah sometimes life just isn’t fun. But God’s promises are for you and if you aren’t living with the faith that He is going to come through, then you might want to ask yourself what you’re actually living for. Putting my faith and hope in the Lord are becoming the keys to my JOY.

Hebrews 10:35-38

Do not let this HAPPY TRUST in the Lord die away, no matter what happens. Remember your reward! You need to keep on patiently doing God’s will if you want Him to do for you all that He has promised. His coming will not be delayed much longer. And those whose faith has made them good in God’s sight must live by faith, trusting Him in everything. Otherwise, if they shrink back, God will have no pleasure in them.

So my B-day resolution this year: Trust God, choose joy.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. Neh 8:10Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4
…etc

We wait so much for our strength tobring us joy, or for the fulfillment of our desires to bring us joy. Why not be joyful first?

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Phil. 4:11