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It has been a while since I posted on this blog. I’ve never had much time to write stuff until now. I felt the need to write, to have an outlet, to fill that void. That need is to be part of a life sharing group. That void is haven’t been able to be part of our Word Sharing Circle for I think almost a year now.

So I thought of using this blog to have my own venue for Word Sharing.

Even though I don’t have other people joining me to share their life with me, at least I think I have people who will listen.

So in the spirit of our Word Sharing Circles every Wednesday, and the techie-yuppie version, the short-lived Watering Hole Wednesdays, welcome to my Word Sharing Wednesdays and here is my sharing.

W(ord):
Righteousness (from the second reading)

O(rder):“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

R(eflection/ealization):
I am not a good or holy person. I haven’t been able to attend Mass regularly. Praying is something that I do whenever I’m in trouble or having some big problems. Sometimes, I think too highly of myself only because I can’t really define the line between being confident and being proud or how different they are.

I’ve been struggling for the past months trying to think if I am the one at fault or the people around me, if I’ve been pushing people away or is it them pushing me away.
I want to think that I am good enough, that I’ve been trying hard to be nice and friendly but to no avail. So I stopped trying. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me. I felt better after accepting that realization. But it was short-lived. I’ve become miserable again. And reflecting on all of it, perhaps I’ve become self-righteous.

The other day, I received this text message from one of our elders in our religious organization. It says, “Let’s keep telling others they matter. It is not easy having a kind heart in a stressful, complicated world, and our greatest test is when we are able to bless someone else while we are going through our own storms.” It reminded me of Galatians 6:9 where it says that we should not get tired of doing good. Perhaps I shouldn’t stop trying to be nice even if some people who would care at all because there are other people who might appreciate it.

Prayer:
Father God, grant me patience and a kind, understanding heart. As I try my best to become a better employee, may I put being a better person first because I know that at the end of the day, that is what matters most. I am a person first, a being who is capable of loving other people. I know it is a struggle as the battle to choose love over hate is difficult but I know that with your help, slowly but surely, I will win that fight. All this I ask in your most powerful name. Amen.

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Thank you, guys, for reading. I do hope I would be able to keep this blog going, posting my reflection every Wednesday and maybe other stuff as well.

“Do not grow discouraged if a situation exceeds your competence & resources. At issue is your belief. Do you trust that Christ is able & willing to use your life to accomplish His work? When God sets an assignment before you, what you do next reveals what you believe about Him.”

Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” – John 2:19

This verse got me thinking: If it only took Jesus three days to come back to life, how long would it take Him to do things that are much simpler? I related death to change, because death is probably the greatest and most permanent change. But what if we wanted to change our personality, our lifestyle, our habits, how long would it take us to do it?

I forgot where I got this but it says, “Every second is a chance to change and choose.” We don’t need a day, a month, or a year to change. We don’t need to wait for New Year to change. For us Catholics, we can change even before we have our confession. We don’t do confession because it marks the beginning of the change will go through. Rather, we go to confession because we already started that change and, through confession, we want to get rid of all that is not good, things that would not benefit us during that change.

If it only took Jesus three days to come raise from the dead, it would take Him probably a blink of an eye if He wanted to change something in Himself. I even think that a blink of an eye is still too long for Him. By the way, it takes about 150 milliseconds to blink. But we don’t need to be like Jesus to be able to change that fast. We don’t need to be a God to be capable of change. Jesus was more of a man than a God, to show us that we, as man, are also capable of such feats. We can also change that quickly…if we really desire it.

I guess what takes so long is thinking about changing. We are afraid of what might happen if we change. We worry about the things that we would be letting go of. For some, they’re afraid of the whole idea of change. But as soon as we learn to accept all of those, as soon as we’ve really decided that we desire (not just want or need) change, change will come naturally and it happens very fast. And if we made the right choice and the right kind of change, we need not wait long to get our “rewards”. It also happens in a blink of an eye.

So if you desire change right now, don’t wait for a sign, don’t wait for a new year, don’t wait for something bad to happen first before you make that change. You can do it NOW! Change is often good! And to end this blog, I will quote the tweet that inspired the title and idea of this entry:

The Gospel talked about the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the Prodigal Son. It tells how the heavens rejoice over one sinner repenting and changing for the better than over many righteous persons who do not need to repent (Luke 15:7). I’ve been a Prodigal Son quite a few times and every time I want to come back to the Lord, it becomes a lot harder. He expects a lot from me but to fail Him time and time again, I just feel so ashamed. I’m asking Him for forgiveness but I can’t look Him in the eyes. But before I could say anything, He’ll hug me so tight and whisper to me the words, “You don’t need to say anything. I’m just happy you came back.” Now I’m in tears. I tell Him I don’t deserve this but He tells me otherwise. I keep on saying “I’m sorry..” but He just keeps on saying “Hush, my child. I already forgave you the moment you tried to leave.” God’s love for us is infinite and never-ending. It doesn’t matter what we did and how much we’ve hurt Him. As soon as we repent and turn to Him again, it’s as if nothing happened, He would welcome us back with open arms. He’s just glad that we’ve come home.

I leave you with this song entitled Home by Gary Valenciano. One of my favorite Gary V. songs. I hope you guys like it. Be blessed! =)

Lyrics:

Verse 1:
Bright stars fill the evening sky
As I sit and wonder what I’m missing
I feel so all alone in a crowded room
There’s something that my heart’s been searching

Pre-chorus:
Coz when the shadows come
There’s nowhere to go
And my one last hope
God only knows
In Him I’ll find what I’ve been searching
Now I’m on my way
Back to a place where I can hear His voice
And see His face
As I’m on my way, I see Him running

Chorus:
Before I take my second step
He sees me coming back
And He comes running to me
And He comes running
Takes me in His arms
Closer to His heart
Saying He’ll be loving me
Cuz He’s never stopped loving me

Verse 2:
I don’t know why
Why did I ever doubt You
Thought I could live without You with me
All my fears disappear
Right before my eyes
Just to know Your love is with meBridge:
So I stop and say, “Forgive me lord
For walking out that door”
But before I could say anything more
He says hush
I’m just glad to know that you’ve come home
Back in my arms
Where you’re safe from harm
I’m just glad to know you’re home
Where I made you to be
Right here with me
Lord I’m glad to be home

The March 9 entry, in the devotional entitled Discovering God’s Daily Agenda by Henry & Richard Blackaby, is entitled The Rewards of Discipline. The devotional told about the discipline of athletes where discipline is their training. If they train hard enough, they will be reward with success. After all, nothing worth having is easy to get.

I’m no athlete but I sure know how it feels to be rewarded because of my discipline. A few days ago, I wrote this entry entitled “My Fault” where I had this week full of bad luck and punishments from God because I failed Him. Right after I talked to God, admitted my mistakes and asked for His forgiveness, everything got better. I prayed every night, thanked Him for everything, and my faith got stronger. I was able to have self-control. With that, I was able to make the “Right Choice“. So I thanked God even more, prayed even more. That’s why He gave me today this thing I’ve been praying for the past few days, and He even gave me more than what I expected. Isn’t that great?! It was my reward. I’m so thankful and happy that I can’t even stop smiling until now. I even almost did that Flintstones tapping-of-heels-while-jumping move. Seriously. =)

Following God will give us more rewards…and problems. But the way I see it, they’re both rewards (“Problems: It’s a Good Thing“). With problems, you get better training and more lessons. With success, you get rewards, a little less lessons compared what you get from problems, and you desire to aim for something more challenging. It doesn’t matter what our goal is or what reward we want to get. Just keep in mind that we have to work hard to get those things. Like I said, nothing worth having is easy to get. Just stick with God, keep the faith, stay strong, and you’ll have all the training you’ll ever need. Pretty soon, victory will be in your hands. =)

PS.

Here’s a thought: “T” is the middle letter of the word “victory”. And look! The small “T” looks like a Cross. Coincidence? =)

My reflection/sharing is sort based on the March 8 entry in the devotional entitled Discovering God’s Daily Agenda by Henry & Richard Blackaby where it mentioned Jesus’ other name Emmanuel.

Nowadays, most parents pretty much name their babies whatever they want. But many, many years ago, like during the Biblical times, parents name their babies according to their would-be purpose in life or perhaps a characteristic they want their babies to possess. Sometimes, even if they are already adults, they change their names that would best describe their purpose in life. For example, Simon who was later on named Peter or Cephas meaning The Rock (John 1:42).

I was born on December 27, two days after Christmas which is the birth of Christ. Since Emmanuel is one of Jesus’ names, my parents gave me the name Emmanuel. Emmanuel means God is with us (Matthew 1:23).

I really didn’t care much about my name or its meaning. I actually didn’t know about the meaning of my name until high school when our English teacher told me what it meant and how she loves my name. I also felt envious of my brothers because they have longer names: one is Rafael Andrew and the other is Angelo Miguel. But when college came and after I joined my ministry, I started taking my name a bit seriously. I’m not God. I’m no saint. I’m not perfect. But I want to be someone God could use to help other people, to show that God really exists. Just like what I’ve said in my previous blog, we already have the qualities that God and Jesus have. If we ask God for a miracle and nothing happens, it means it is up to us to make that miracle come true. We should “be the miracle” just like Bruce said in the movie Bruce Almighty (2003). Being named Emmanuel, I wanted to be someone’s miracle.

I always want to help. I always want to know the problems of other people and help in anyway I can. I feel useless if I can’t help them. Sometimes, this desire to help often got me into trouble. My friends would get annoyed because I will keep on asking them what the problems because they don’t want to tell me. Some problems are also not my concern. I’ve learned that, sometimes, the best way to help is to not help at all. But there are also those times when I’d get “lucky”, that someone would need my help and my advice. Sometimes, God will bring me to that person or He will bring that person to me. Actually, I’m not that capable or skilled to help others, and I sometimes give crappy advice. I’ve learned that I am much more help and give better advice when I have a better relationship with God. These skills and wisdom are gifts from Him after all. Just like any gift or “power”, it needs a source of energy and God is my source and He also has the switch that turns on those powers.

When those lucky days do come and after I am able to help someone, I always thank God for letting me help them. I know I couldn’t have done it without Him. It makes me happy to see other people happy. Sometimes, even when I have my own problems, I’d rather share other people’s problems instead and help them solve it so I could forget about my problems. And I need not worry about these getting into my head. I think that me having self-esteem issues is a my choice. My self-esteem issues keeps me from being proud and overconfident.

Anyway, this is how I see myself and how I am fulfilling my purpose for being named Emmanuel. I hope this gives people an idea of who I am and why I am doing this blog–to help and inspire people. So if you need help, you can always ask me. I’m no Jesus Christ but I’ll try my best to help you in any way I can. I could try to be your miracle. You should try to be someone’s too, even if your name is not Emmanuel. It doesn’t have to be anyway. =)

PS.

This is a song from Hillsong’s Live Praise & Worship album Your Are My World (2001). This song is entitled Emmanuel. An oldie but goodie. Hope you guys enjoy it. =)