Friday, August 29, 2008

My life of the past few months have been completely crazy. A whirlwind trip to the States to see friends and family ended all too soon and I'm back in Korea, back to the daily struggles and triumphs of ministry. As I write this, I'm sitting in the dorm office, waiting for the kids to come down for morning announcements, prayer and breakfast. I still have the "how did I get here" moments but they are few and far between. This is life and I'm living it. Sarah Erdmann is here...she's a great friend from IWU and I couldn't be happier that she joined the staff this year. On top of that, she's in the same building as me so not only do I work with her, I live about 10 feet from her. That's closer than we ever lived in college. I'm truly thankful for her presence and look forward to a great year. It's kinda funny: she's going through those all too familiar emotions of "I can't believe that I'm actually doing this". It's fun to be along side of her for that.

I'm finding it difficult to settle into a routine here. I haven't had the chance to just sit and talk to people from home on the phone (sorry for that) and I'm feeling the effects on my morale. I need those conversations. I need to hear how everyone is doing and what is new and newsworthy from the lower 48. Above all, I need to process things that I can't do here....maybe soon.

In other news, I have to decide by Nov. 1st whether or not I'm coming back here. See, I thought that senior year of college was challenging because the whole world was at our feet...we could do anything. I was grateful when the Lord finally led me to a decision and I believed i was set. How naive! Am I going to feel this way every time change is looming? I feel, once again, that I could do anything. I could stay on in Korea for another year. I could try and get a job with the International Justice Mission in India or Thailand (advocating from a Christian mindset for abused women and sex slaves). I could move back to the States and try to get a job (I'd love to be a resident director at IWU...but only if the Lord will have me). I salivate at the thought of going to Hillsong in Australia for a year to study under some of the most dynamic worship leaders in the ministry today. Perhaps there are yet more options out there. All I know is that for the next couple of months, I will be under great pressure to make a decision and make the "right" one. Pray for clarity. Pray that no decision will be made out of obligation or emotion but as a result of intense prayer and Divine guidance. I want to be an instrument...but where?

Well, the students are filtering in and the clock is ticking. It's go time...