A new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.

Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.

How to Catch Mr Bule.

The book discusses important questions such as:

Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?

Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?

Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four "F"'s - "find, feel, f..., forget"?

Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?

What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?

The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

they like dogs

they sleep with the lights off

they like to cook for themselves

These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.

Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.

410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

As a bule Australian woman, I am ashamed to admit that many (not all, but many) of the stereotypes about bule men are, unfortunately, true. And sadly, that the image of the western woman vs that asian woman is also true, especially when we are young and single. Bule men and bule women have evolved together over many years and deserve each other. I love my bule husband who both loves and respects me as an equal. However, I have sympathy for the gentle asian woman or man who gets involved with one of us, only to discover how unrefined we are.

On the other hand, I can also be proud of the tolerant, multi-cultural society I come from, and testify to the positive effect the immigration of so many Asian people have had on our crude culture here in Australia.

However, it is a bit of a shock to read some of the prejudices some contributers have based on ephemeral things like who you happen to be born to, what the colour of your skin is, and your religion. I’d like to think we are moving past that, to see the real person underneath the superficial layers.

Let’s strive for positive, happy relationships, based on mutual respect and love for each other, regardless of our backgrounds.

Dating based on class, religion and colour I think has less weight in say Australia than Indonesia, and may I suggest this may be the trend around the western world. Girls here can make as good money as a guy can, they don’t need a man for security or even to support a baby financially. Even getting the support of parents is a oversight here. So yes, dating and they way people choose their partners here is a little different and strange even to someone who has lived in Australia all his life. In lots of ways its more superficial but as Rosebud suggests, men and women here are as bad as each other.

So how to attract a bule man? Well (if you still want to) just act feminine and let him see your appreciation when he does something for you, it will make him want to do more and if he is lonely, well, he will not have the strength to resist

I would suggest no to take advice from books like “why men marry bitches” seriously and maybe just be frank and ask the bule target what he want in a women and refine your catching skills from that.

But seriously, are bule males really that different from Indonesian males or any other when it comes to attraction? I mean the things that are attractive to a guy (like beautiful smile, nice shape) is really the same all over the world isn’t it?
And please give up on the skin lightening products. Brown skin is just as beautiful. Men and women in the west are actually trying to make themselves look darker would you believe.

So how to attract a bule man? Well (if you still want to) just act feminine and let him see your appreciation when he does something for you, it will make him want to do more and if he is lonely, well, he will not have the strength to resist

Well around my neck of the woods, they just put some ju-ju underyour pillow..wake up and find some feathers and some ..eer less savoury things..It’s all over for the guy

So how to attract a bule man? Well (if you still want to) just act feminine and let him see your appreciation when he does something for you, it will make him want to do more and if he is lonely, well, he will not have the strength to resist

If you treat a Bule man in this way, it may not encourage him to show you tender affections, but rather he may think of you as a doormat. For a long term relationship, Bule men often prefer woman who are smart, funny and not afraid to show some independence. Happily acceding to his every desire may not bring about the commitment you want.

“I agree… the women I’ve seen with bules (at least in cities) are anything but submissive”

Not in disagreement with you Zekky, but i was suggesting women should act feminine (not submissive), in order to get there man.

There is a difference and i think many equate being feminine with being weak or submissive. I once remember reading an opinion that some men are attracted to Russian women because they were feminine, but the counter claim was they are really more submissive. I have met some lovely Moscovites, and yes, they are very feminine, but i wouldn’t dare call them weak or submissive. So maybe its a universal misconception

Actresses and models are typically graceful, long hair, …you get the idea, look feminine.
Sure some are like boys, have short hair or tatts or adopt typical male behavior, and this is accepted, but they are not necessarily stronger people than their feminine counterpart in my opinion. It is just their image.

So back to my original post, I would suggest most bule men, and gentlemen in particular are more attracted to feminine women. Yes, most men respect women who are smart and strong and use common sense, and these qualities are not the exclusive domain of the bitch like women, hence my other comment.

Unfortunately it’s a fact that women all over the world who cannot support themselves will marry the first man that throws them a ‘buck’.This is a case of ‘survival’.The reason why Indonesians are so highly sought is because Western men have a perception that Indo women have not yet learned how to say ‘no’ and most (who cannot support themselves)will marry the first man that proposes whether he be 2yrs or 50yrs older than herself. I have no respect for these ‘losers’ that take advantage of a woman’s unfortunate circumstance. It seems that Indo women have a perception that ‘bule’ men are more caring,giving and supportive of their wives. This is unfortunately so untrue..most of them are ‘spoilt little mommas boys’,that is why they want women who are ‘submissive’,hang on their every word and ask ‘how high’ when they say ‘jump!’They cannot take care of themselves and most of the older men who want women younger than their own daughters want to marry them and ‘keep’ them as a ‘trophe’ wife and for sex..let’s face it..what could a 50yr old possibly have in common with a 23yr old? My opinion of them is so low that I wouldn’t trust these men with a 6yr old girl. God created women to be ‘submissive and caring’ to their husband but He also set a law that men should respect and honor their wives and that marriage commitment should be based on LOVE and not financial gain or slavery. A woman that marries a man solely to support her is nothing more than a ‘legal prostitute’.She is fortunate not to have to walk the streets night after night and I can bet that a man that marries a woman for any other reason than love probably has no problem paying a prostitute for sex as they have no character or moral values.

A woman that marries a man solely to support her is nothing more than a ‘legal prostitute’.

Statement brought to one of the pampered elite and arrogant elite, easy to take the moral high ground when you have choices and daddies ill gotten gains to provide those choices.

In case, you haven’t noticed Indonesian is a dang hard life scramble for many people outside the 5% on the gravy train…particularly women. Choices made may not always be nice but more often than not understandable.

That is “the Ideal”, but its not gonna happen in Indonesia anytime soon. In Indonesia, your big family dictate you.

Agree. More often than not, society and family dictate one’s life. And in the case of Indonesia, unfortunately, most people still can’t bring themselves to live their lives according to their own principles, what they believe in and what they really want. These people end up living their lives accordingly to what society and family regard as right and wrong. Only a few have enough courage to really stand up for their own principles and go for what they really want.

slave2no1, in your tirade against older western men you also said that Indonesian women go for bule men thinking they are more ‘caring’ than local men.
Doesn’t say much for Indonesian men does it. Seems they not only can’t support their women properly but can’t look after them well either.

I rather go to Bangkok or Morroco and marry a pretty Tai or Tanger lady and pay no penny or a government prestitution fee. What the f…ki is $ 60 K for, just a pu..ssy. I will buy with aa that money a brand new convertible vette and get a new huchy every night in Philly.

So what’s the story? Is there not a single good Indonesian male in Indonesia?

I can truly understand any Indonesian woman trying to go up a few classes and getting someone who’s superior in pretty much everyway. Indonesian guy-imagine taking an ape and trying to train them like a human. You can teach them to pray to Allah five times a day but very little else.

lights, dogs, drinks can all be overcome. The major problem why relationships break-off is money. Also, the problems in the relationship do not differ that much as the problems with a woman with the same ethnicity/race. It depends on the characters and the way they suit to each other. I don,t think that the way Indonesian treats their women is better or worse as whites are doing.

Good for the book author. I could just her smiling with her bule husband.. making a bit of money here and there (from the sale of the book…) while feeling good about them self.
They (the bule husband and the indo wife) actually contributes to this society by giving some enlightenment to the prospective bule’s hunter…
Now thats tells you that stupidity does not only come in brown skin packaging, it is also comes in white, yellow, black, olive and everything in between.

Indonesians are horrible when it comes to interacting with foreigners. They are so awkward and obnoxious or just downright embarrassing.

They can never just say foreigner…has to be some “zinger” word like Bule and then they laugh like something is funny. Deplorable, childish behavior.

Now they mumble STRALI….strAAAA-LLEEEE. Which is the lame short version of Australi, meaning Australia, as if all white people come from there. They can’t even say the full name of the country, even though their own country ends they same way as Indones-IA.

Hey orang Indonisi….what do you think about that? Indo-NEEE-SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.