Prince William desperate for threesome

20-06-12

THE Duke of Cambridge’s ’30 things to do before you’re 30′ list gives him less than 24 hours to have a threesome, it has emerged.

William is wearing the famous Windsor 'sex hat'

William, who celebrates his 30th birthday on Thursday, initially tried to persuade his wife of one year to get it on with him and Cheryl Cole as part of the Diamond Jubilee celebrations earlier this month, but was firmly rebuffed.

A subsequent Royal decree ordering Jordan and ‘the blonde one off Countdown’ to meet the prince behind a Buckingham Palace sentry box was cancelled after Kate Middleton saw plans for a souvenir plate designed to commemorate the encounter.

The Prince has eliminated all the other things on his list, including driving a convertible, sleeping with a friend’s girlfriend and losing £10,000 at roulette, which he did to amuse schoolfriends on his eighth birthday.

He said: “I got lost in a country where I don’t understand a word the natives say when I visited Glasgow, I was arrested for being drunk in charge of a Sea King helicopter in the Falklands, and I killed a man just to watch him die during my gap year in Chile.

“I can’t really do the one about quitting your job without dying, so I fired my equerry instead. But I’ve only got one day to get dual action under my belt without Kate finding out and I don’t think I’m going to do it.”

On hearing of his brother’s plight, Prince Harry ordered that the eight-volume Order of the Garter’s Register of Dirty Girls be brought from St George’s Chapel, Windsor.

While flicking through the tomes in search of suitable candidates, Harry said: “Bloody hell, Fergie’s in here.”