Needing a protective home: a case of Abelmoschus

Woman in her thirties, married, with one child. Since giving birth, she has emotional swings. She complains
of waves of sleeplessness, a sense of despair, fatigue, and an inability to
relax.

"Recently, we were forced to sell the house in which we
lived; it gave me a sense of disintegration. I feel I don’t have an inner home.
It brought me back to my adolescence period, where I was a kind of savior. It
was very important that everything will be ‘ok’. I was watching other’s distress
without taking sides. I felt like I came into this role and that it is my
existence; there was, however, very great distress there, feeling alone. At
some point, I was sexually harassed by a familiar figure. I felt like I was
giving my body and my soul. I felt extremely lonely and anxious, and even a loss
of reality; like a shuddering of reality.

“There were moments of anger. I'm not so good with anger by
itself, anger that comes from some sort of breaking down. I make a constant
effort to be fine, even if there is no such possibility. I also have a sense of
‘no chance of succeeding, the criteria are really high’.

“I felt that I had two personalities, one on the outside and
one on the inside. The one on the outside was opinionated and assertive, and
seems to have power to stand up for herself. The inner one feels somehow very
fragile and very needy, longing to be seen."

Physicals

Throat: recently, phlegm “in all the colors of the rainbow”
from my mouth.

Stomach: Bloating. Diarrhea during periods of sleeplessness,
together with loss of weight. Feeling of fullness versus shrinking.

Rectum: a tendency to constipation.

Perspiration: especially on the face, sometimes on the palms.

Female: Headaches on the first day of menstruation.
Difficulty falling asleep before menses.

Sleep: "At night, my body
is half asleep, with a great restlessness. Sometimes, I fall asleep a little
and then wake up. When I wake up, I feel
I haven’t slept. There are periods when my body feels highly charged and I
cannot fall asleep.”

Food and Drink
Desires: salty, stews, vegetables and fruit. Cold water, more than ever before.
Aversion: occasional disgust for
meat.
Aggravation: strong desire for coffee, but causes constipation or diarrhea; “At
times, when I was lacking sleep, I felt as if the nerves edges wouldn’t get sleep, as if they will
not be able to calm down.”

Fears: “Someone breaking
into my home; I could not protect myself and my family. I fear that someone
from the outside will come and do harm. I cannot talk or read about acts of
violence, it brings up a sense of inability to protect and defend myself. The issue
is of protecting as a mother.”

"The point is about going out and then I can’t find the
way back in. I need something to help me in coming in and going out.

The issues concern motherhood, nurturing and defending,
accompanied by a sense of loneliness since childhood. She has the need for
harmony, for everything to be OK, for self-efficiency and independence.

The “home” theme of the carbon family also comes up. Loneliness, isolation and lack of protection
inside the home indicate the sense of the missing father. The unrefreshed and
fatigued feeling in the morning, with insufficient sleep, is known in Magnesium
carbonicum.

Prescription: Magnesium carbonicum 30CH

Follow-ups

Sleeps a little better.

Prescription: Magnesium
carbonicum 200CH

Two months later: yellow-green mucus with sinus congestion
in her forehead. Now, there is diarrhea, whereas she previously was
constipated.

She got sick; a wet cough with much phlegm mucus and great
exhaustion. The constipation had been released, and her body is very tired. She
is able to fall asleep but wakes up after few hours and has difficulties falling
asleep again.

Prescription: Magnesium carbonicum 200C

The same evening, she
felt better in terms of the fatigue and cough, though still suffering from a
stuffed nose and blockage in the stomach. After three days, she is better.

After a week: the bloating and constipation improves: "My stomach is in better shape, it is a
significant improvement. I don’t feel the bloating anymore. My appetite is
better, which makes me feel good.

“My sleep is better, but not totally. I get tired during the
afternoon and the evening. It takes me a while to fall asleep, even an hour or
two. I wake up every night around 3am with tension in my body. I might make
motions in the middle of the night, I really need to move."

The problem gets worse before the menstrual cycle and with
lack of sleep.
“I am very nervous before the cycle, as if the body reaches a peak of stress.
When the menses comes, something calms down. There are moments, or hours, of
despair: there is no point to life, no desire, and no motivation. Nothing seems
ok to me, or excites me. I feel able to separate myself, but I still need to be
mature in front of my family. My fears are much less than they were. "

Three months later: back pain has returned. "I feel a
lot of anger. I do not flow with things, as though I have no patience. I feel that people have dumped their own
problems onto me, things that have been hard on them for years. I could not
find myself in all this, and internally, I feel like a little girl who needs a
mature and protective figure.”

She is moving away from where her parents live, which brings
in turn the feeling of separateness. Along with this comes a sense of guilt
about abandoning her parents, as if she is giving up her responsibility.
Feelings of anger also surface about the need to manage on her own;
"Something in me is dependent and in great need for maternal containment
and understanding."

Nearing the menstrual cycle, the tension in the body and the
mind increased, as well as the difficulty of falling asleep. The menstrual bleeding was
much less than normal, barely any blood at all.

"I have difficulty sleeping at present; I sleep a
certain time, usually two hours and then I wake up, and I feel how tight my
body is. It is as though I have a scream inside me." Her stomach is bloated
again.

At this point, I decided to re-examine the case. It was
clear that a significant change has been made since the first meeting, but I
felt that there is still a core issue that never changes. Themes kept
repeating: the nurturing element, the family
issue, separation versus independence, loneliness inside the home as well as
the sleeping issue.

Here, it occurred to me to consider a remedy from the plant
kingdom. The language of the patient, with her high sensitivity and
adaptability, and the issues of a place, of a home makes one think of plants. On the physical plane, she has an assimilation
problem, manifested in the digestive tract. She has attachment issues, with the
need for a very intimate contact. Pathologies arised when she moved home: she
felt cut off from her roots, which brought on disproportionate states of fear.
All these symptoms led me to look for a plant remedy.

At this point, I used the periodic table of the plants from
Michal Yakir "Wondrous Order". I turned to the fourth column with its
“nourishment” themes, themes of attachment versus separation, basic nurturing,
issues of motherhood, protection, vulnerability, and dependence as opposed to
building an independent life.

In the 4th column, we find the Malvales family in
which the themes of nourishment and the separation from the “mother” are played
out at an infancy stage and early childhood.

Prescription: Abelmoschus 30C one dose

I chose this remedy because of the boundaries issue:
exploring and breaking them (the remedy has a huge fear of penetrating insects),
setting limits versus feeling invaded. These were reflected in her restlessness
at night and her inability to relax, closing her house, her lack of confidence
at work, the feeling of disintegration and blocking herself, and closures in
her relationships. Vithoulkas writes
that this remedy can be easily confused with Phosphorus and Calcium carbonicum
due to its fears, which increased dramatically at night. There is not much
information about the remedy but, in this case, the aggravation at night is
prominent.

Conclusion: her main issue, as seen in the table, is to take
on the nurturing role for the family, to the extent of losing one’s identity.
To be the family "savior" while losing onself in the process. There
are digestive issues and a high level of anxiety, aggravated at night.

Follow-ups

Two months later: since the remedy "I can separate more
easily. I can support myself as well. I
have a greater sense of security, support and love. There is more of a “me”
inside. For the first time in my life, I could really speak with my family and
despite the difficulties, the conversation did all of us good.

“Today, I feel that I can be where I am without apologizing
about living life at my own pace. I have a sense of being wrapped, listening to
my own rhythm. I think there is something unique in me; I can’t participate in
the race of modern life.

“As a child, I felt that there were things beyond the
visible. Maybe I had created this world, in an attempt to create harmony, since
I felt unseen. Apparently, I was lacking something. I felt so very alone, I
felt sad. It is the same feeling that moved me to try to create a sense of
softness in our home, of sharing, relationship, and communication, to be there
for each other.

“Today, I am more accepting, more in the present. I am less
hard on myself; when I am nervous, I accept it. I can allow myself to receive
help.

“At night, there is a huge improvement. I sleep better. My tiredness is more muscular and less in the
bones.”

After that consultation, we spoke on the phone every few
weeks. She sleeps well at night and her stomach issues are gone.

She received an additional dose after four months.

A year later(during which time she received one more dose): “I
can sleep, really rest. I have much softness for myself and the world. I allow
myself to hang out, to have fun and to do things for myself.

“For many years, I took on the role of being a bridge for
the family. I am now able to take a few steps back and let them create the
bridge by themselves. It is a breath of fresh air for me.

“I let go regarding my work. I’m less tense and my system
does not run on guilt anymore. I can enjoy life without guilt.”