Addiction Helphttp://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog
Wed, 30 Nov 2016 20:28:48 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.6.15 Things You Can Do To Overcome Your Alcohol Problem Without the Label “Addict”http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/5-things-can-overcome-your-alcohol-problem/
http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/5-things-can-overcome-your-alcohol-problem/#respondFri, 21 Feb 2014 21:45:17 +0000http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/?p=1061How does alcohol affect your life? Your health? Your relationships? Do you have regrets based on choices, behavior and actions that you have taken when under the influence?

The disease theory of addiction, in this case alcoholism, might lead us to believe that people have little or no control over their drinking, because substance use (alcohol or drugs) is a brain disease. The concept of substance use being a disease alas is not new. Some of the earliest attempts to define alcohol use as a disease date back to the 19 century (Schaller, 2009, p.49) and what grew from them was a culture focused on defining alcohol and/or substance users in a way that will give “rational” explanation of the choices they make before, during and after drinking, as these choices are more often than not deemed socially unacceptable.

What do we know about “addicts”, as described by the disease model? It turns out the disease model knows a lot more about a person’s drinking or drug use than that person him/herself. For example, according to the disease model, if a person has a drinking problem, he or she is diseased, but most often in denial of that fact. If a person who drinks excessively is refusing to accept and recognize their substance use as an addiction, the disease model teaches us that this person is in denial.

The disease model is also working hard to convince society and the substance user that a person under the influence has no control over their choices, actions and behavior whatsoever. Not only that, but we are forced to believe that the only way to overcome an “addiction” is through treatment, because after all, this is what we do with people who are diseased- we treat them.

However, in order to be treated, a person first must recognize that they are “sick” with this incurable disease for the rest of their lives and they can do absolutely and positively nothing, to change that “fact”. In fact, these people are so “sick” that they will need treatment and support for the rest of their lives, and be considered constantly at risk of returning to their old habits.

But that is not all; the disease model goes way above that, stating that people are genetically prone to becoming “addicts”. In other words if a parent is “diseased” (i.e. alcoholic), the chances of his/her children being “diseased” are that much greater. The disease model doesn’t deem this to be a learned behavior in generational alcoholism, no. After all, these people are “sick” with incurable and hereditary disease, don’t forget.

Reading through the description of the disease model, is it difficult then to see that the stream of thought that is introduced by it, and more often forced upon the substance user and society in general, leads in a manner of speaking to a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Just imagine the gradation:

People are told they are sick. ( Bad)

Then they are told the disease is incurable. ( Worse)

Finally they are assured they cannot do anything to change the fact they are an “addict” (Worst)

But of course, substance users are assured none of this is their fault for the above mentioned reasons, and that is the only “positive” side of the disease model. It clears the substance user of all responsibility.

And here is where the line has to be drawn. If a substance user believes he or she holds no responsibility over their choices, actions and behavior, they will not do a single thing to change them. They will simply continue the learned pattern and “slip up” from time to time, because this is normal, acceptable and even expected, when you have the incurable disease “addiction”. In a way, when a person settles down in the comfortable chair of “addiction”, certain behaviors and choices are expected of them, in order to keep up with the disease charade, like relapsing for example.

The truth of the matter is that “there is much empirical support for the claim that addiction emerges as a function of the rules of everyday choice.”( Heyman, 2013) In other words, things are not as black and white as the disease model might want us to think. There are alternatives to the traditional alcohol treatment philosophy and the alcohol user can absolutely take action to overcome their alcohol problem that do not involve treatment and relinquishing their free will and choice.

Evaluate

How does alcohol affect your life? Your health? Your relationships? Do you have regrets based on choices, behavior and actions that you have taken when under the influence? If you are having trouble being honest with yourself, maybe it is not a bad idea to hear how the people around you are evaluating your drinking. Try to understand their reasoning, but do not force it upon yourself. Nobody knows better than you what the situation is, so give it your best try to be honest with yourself and with others about it.

Create a plan of action

Once you complete your evaluation, if you determined that you have an alcohol problem, it is time take responsibility for your choices, behavior and actions. Again, be honest. Own up to your situation and create a plan of action how you are going to improve it. Be realistic, but do not restrict your goals based on your past behavior, allow yourself to dream. This is the best way to change your self-image and improve your chances of success to stick to the plan.

Accept reinforcements

This is not mandatory, but you might find yourself in a situation where it is difficult to change your choices alone. There is nothing wrong in seeking help to fulfill your goals. Would that be your family, friends, educational program or else, it is entirely up to you. Whatever feels right for you and aligns with your views and philosophy is the right choice.

Stick to the plan

Change is never easy; however, it is entirely possible. If you want it strong enough and you truly believe that is the right choice for you, you can accomplish the goals you set in your plan. You just have to follow through, not because of anything or anyone else, but because you know it is your responsibility and your choice.

Move on

Sometimes when people deal with alcohol problem and they are taking action to change their situation, it is easy to go down the road of blame and shame. That is why it is important to learn how to move on. Take responsibility for your actions, behavior and choices, but once you do, let go. That is the first thing to do so you can begin rebuilding your life and make healthier choices- to realize that you can’t change the past, but you can for sure change the future.

In conclusion, there are many things a person can do to overcome your alcohol problem and the listed above are just a general overview. The most important thing that you have to do if you consider yourself having an alcohol use problem, is to make the choice to change your situation. Once you make the rational decision to make better choices, everything else will fall into place. Because after all, “addiction” is nothing but a choice, and it’s never too late to make the right one.

]]>http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/5-things-can-overcome-your-alcohol-problem/feed/0Media Is Making You fearful Of Hurricane Sandy and Addictions!http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/media-is-making-you-fearful-of-hurricane-sandy-and-addictions/
http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/media-is-making-you-fearful-of-hurricane-sandy-and-addictions/#respondTue, 30 Oct 2012 07:41:08 +0000http://soberforever.net/addictionblog/?p=133With the anticipation of the “biggest storm of the century” battling down on the east coast, there are commonly two ways people react. Many alcoholism experts as well as many former members of Alcoholic Anonymous express concern that the organization

]]>With the anticipation of the “biggest storm of the century” battling down on the east coast, there are commonly two ways people react. Many alcoholism experts as well as many former members of Alcoholic Anonymous express concern that the organization is either a cult or cult-like, that it indoctrinates members, obtaining unnecessary fear and panic and then those who are of course skeptics, who believe that the media has overplayed the storm. The same thing is brought to mind with our current “addiction crisis.”

Now while Sandy is currently leaving her battle scars on the east coast, the weather channel and media have those believers scared and panicked. As forewarned east coasters heard more and more bad news, they flocked to local grocery stores to stock up on water, batteries and canned food. Pretty much, anything and everything the news channel has advised to pick up, most of us east coasters ran and purchased.

While the news is trying to be preventative, there has been some bluffing in the past, or over-hyping previous storms. Sandy was a monster, but didn’t reach the impact expected by the weather channel. The point is that our society believes anything the media says, it instills fear in us and can persuade us to think in certain ways. So what’s to say that the media isn’t blowing America’s “addiction problems” into something it’s not?

We commonly don’t hear people say someone is being over dramatic about their alcohol use, because they believe they have a real disease. After all, our culture, especially the media, runs tv special after special about addictions and how they are a permanent part of life. Our culture has blown the “disease of addiction” into an epidemic, but realistically, more people overcome alcohol and drugs by quitting themselves, over those who go into rehab or treatment. The reason why so many people struggle with stopping is because the media, therapists or programs in the past have told them they can’t stop! In an “alcoholic’s” mind, what if their disease is simply fear that others have projected on them?

Fear of the unknown, fear of dying, fear of being hurt. Essentially fear can make us think and act completely uncharacteristically. Every time we hear drug addiction stories from national news to celebrity gossip magazines it raises an alarm in those that are currently using and for their loved ones. Parents shield their teens from the next “drug epidemic” and people live in fear of being addicted to everything!

In the end maybe those skeptics who don’t panic over everything are the ones with the most common sense, who can think the most clearly, when things seem to be spiraling out of control. When it comes to common sense those who understand they have gained power over alcohol and drugs find it revolutionary and those who realize they don’t have a disease of addiction are most successful at abstaining from their habit.

That’s why at Saint Jude’s we don’t blow addiction into something it’s not, we know you aren’t sick, which is why you are educated in our program about what addiction truly is and ways you can overcome alcohol and drug use. You are never treated at St Jude’s. Call our program at 1-888-424-2626 for more information!

**This article has no intention of downplaying Sandy’s wrath, and our thoughts are with all those on the east coast (including ourselves) that have been impacted by the storm but this article is rather to point out how the media creates unnecessary, hype, and fear about, well frankly, everything.

]]>http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/media-is-making-you-fearful-of-hurricane-sandy-and-addictions/feed/0Are there really underlying causes for addiction?http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/are-there-really-underlying-causes-for-addiction/
http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/are-there-really-underlying-causes-for-addiction/#commentsFri, 31 Aug 2012 07:50:03 +0000http://soberforever.net/addictionblog/?p=139While there are no actual underlying causes for substance use, individuals with a drug or problem may have reasons to justify their use. When someone claims there are “causes” it makes it sound as if that person has no control

]]>While there are no actual underlying causes for substance use, individuals with a drug or problem may have reasons to justify their use. When someone claims there are “causes” it makes it sound as if that person has no control and that just is not the case. Substance users always have control, no one forces the alcohol or drugs into their bodies, those are choices those individuals decide to make.

Many people who feel they have an alcohol “addiction” blame it on their current situation, whether it involves relationships, a job, financial stress or just life in general. But these factors really do not contribute or cause substance use. All people experience stressful situations and go through hard times. If they are taught that drinking or drugging are good ways to deal with the natural struggles and challenges of life, then that is what they will use to cope. It is simple really; it is all based on a person’s own beliefs. If they believe drugs and alcohol are good coping tools they will use them as such. If they do not, they won’t use them.

The fundamental reason why people in our society use substances is because they like to use them and gain some form of happiness or pleasure from it. Now, someone might also use substances as a learned coping mechanism if they believe it will help them during difficult times, but nonetheless, doesn’t it come right down to liking the feeling of being drunk and/or high? Just because a person has stress and/or trauma in their life does not mean they must get drunk and high.

All people experience stress and trauma, and the majority do not drink or drug at all. So getting drunk or high when things are difficult does not have to be the way these issues are handled. That choice is up to that person, and they can change that pattern and the course of their life. That is where St. Jude’s will help you.

The most important thing a person struggling with substance use problems can do is separate substance use from life issues, so that each can be addressed with their own specific solutions. By breaking the connection between substance use habits and other life issues, a person dealing with these problems is able to solve each with amazing efficiency. Substance use problems can be a thing of the past, and changing your belief system about substance use can be the key to making it a reality.

]]>http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/are-there-really-underlying-causes-for-addiction/feed/14Saint Jude Retreats Helps People With Substance Use Problemshttp://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/saint-jude-retreats-helps-people-with-substance-use-problems/
http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/saint-jude-retreats-helps-people-with-substance-use-problems/#respondFri, 10 Feb 2012 07:09:12 +0000http://soberforever.net/addictionblog/?p=110Oftentimes, people think of drug problems as use of illegal substances, such as marijuana, cocaine and methamphetamines. They do not think about prescription drugs. Problems with drugs and alcohol can take on many different forms. They may be a mix

]]>Oftentimes, people think of drug problems as use of illegal substances, such as marijuana, cocaine and methamphetamines. They do not think about prescription drugs. Problems with drugs and alcohol can take on many different forms. They may be a mix of drugs, such as crystal meth and Xanax, or overuse of alcohol. At Saint Jude Retreats, we can help people experiencing problems with drug or alcohol use if they want to change and want help. We have a number of different programs now available, including residential retreats, at-home classes and a pilot program for day classes in New York City.

When people use drugs and alcohol beyond moderation, they may develop health problems. As a result, if they choose to stop drinking or using certain substances, they may have physical withdrawal issues. In some cases, estimated at less than 3 percent of the population, the body’s physical reaction to withdrawal may be so severe that the person needs medical attention to perform a detoxification process. At Saint Jude Retreats, we are a non-medical substance use education facility, so we do not offer any detox services. There are some places throughout the country that we refer to should someone need the medical attention required.

Something else we do not do at Saint Jude Retreats is force people to enter our program. While this is a common practice at some drug or alcohol addiction treatment facilities, we wait until the person experiencing problems with drugs, alcohol or both is ready to make a lifestyle change. Whether the person has problematic use of alcohol, illegal or prescription drugs, contact Saint Jude Retreats today. We can help.

]]>http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/saint-jude-retreats-helps-people-with-substance-use-problems/feed/0How Saint Jude Retreats Differs From a 12-Step Programhttp://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/how-saint-jude-retreats-differs-from-a-12-step-program/
http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/how-saint-jude-retreats-differs-from-a-12-step-program/#respondWed, 08 Feb 2012 06:49:12 +0000http://soberforever.net/addictionblog/?p=92For more than 20 years, Saint Jude Retreats has been helping people who have problems with drugs and alcohol to make lifestyle changes. Part of what makes our program successful is our environment, paired with our philosophy. We are unlike

]]>For more than 20 years, Saint Jude Retreats has been helping people who have problems with drugs and alcohol to make lifestyle changes. Part of what makes our program successful is our environment, paired with our philosophy. We are unlike other programs. Many people who have come to Saint Jude Retreats have found that alcohol rehab and drug treatment programs do not work. Some people have tried and left 12-step programs and methods when seeking help. There are many differences between Saint Jude Retreats and 12-step programs. These are just a few of them.

Philosophy
We do not offer a 12-step program, nor do we tell people they have a disease or send them to daily meetings for the rest of their lives. Saint Jude Retreats was the first non-12-step model for those who struggle with the use of drugs and alcohol. Our program participants do not work through a set of steps etched in stone that everyone must follow. Because each person’s issues are different, we teach program participants to resolve their individual problematic lifestyle with the tools we give them.

Saint Jude Retreats does not tell people that they are powerless over drugs and alcohol, but that they have the power to choose not to use them. Since there is no disease to treat and no illness to overcome, participants in our social education program are free of working 12 steps and from attending a lifetime of meetings.

Participation
Something else they are free of is the ambush of an intervention. This method of attacking those with substance use problems to force them to enroll in drug and alcohol treatment centers or enter 12-step programs is ineffective and can be counter-productive. While the individual’s family may simply want to be involved in helping their loved one stop drinking or using drugs, we have found other ways for friends and family to show their support — without trickery. Our family consultants work with the family members of those enrolled in our program. We give them plenty of information to learn about Saint Jude Retreats so that they can better understand what to expect and what not to expect when their loved one leaves the program and comes home.

]]>http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/how-saint-jude-retreats-differs-from-a-12-step-program/feed/0Purpose and Drive – the Proven Path to Freedom from Drugs and Alcoholhttp://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/purpose-and-drive-the-proven-path-to-freedom-from-drugs-and-alcohol/
http://www.soberforever.net/addictionblog/index.php/purpose-and-drive-the-proven-path-to-freedom-from-drugs-and-alcohol/#respondThu, 23 Jun 2011 06:16:24 +0000http://soberforever.net/addictionblog/?p=62Are you tired of going to Alcoholics Anonymous? Are you exhausted by endless therapy as a means to overcome your addictions? Are you ready to move past the pattern of going to alcohol and drug rehabs? If so, you may

]]>Are you tired of going to Alcoholics Anonymous? Are you exhausted by endless therapy as a means to overcome your addictions? Are you ready to move past the pattern of going to alcohol and drug rehabs? If so, you may need to find your personal purpose as a means to grow past the 12 step nightmare:

Living a life of purpose may not be immediately pleasurable, nor is it always easy and comfortable. But having a purpose does guarantee positive personal development and sustainable stability. Purpose is the foundation of a positive human experience. The Buddhists have a saying, “Life is duty; duty is happiness.” As individuals grow and come to understand that pleasures are fleeting, there is a natural tendency to search for greater personal purpose. This self-examination usually happens during adolescence and early adulthood. However, some people focus on pleasure with all their resources, only to find emptiness and a need for newer more intense pleasures to take the place of the previous faded versions. Pleasure is not the cake of life; it is the frosting on the cake of purpose. Without purpose, people are left with a bottomless bowl of candy to eat, the first piece of which is the only real satisfying one.

As you embark on your quest for personal positive change, sobriety and/or moderation, we hope you will look for a greater purpose as the foundation of happiness. Please understand, we are not opposed to pleasure, and as a matter of fact, pleasure is one of the intrinsic values of life. But, it only goes so far if it isn’t accompanied by a greater sense of sustainability.

We live in a society that sends the message that happiness is for others, the glamorous, the rich, but that average people have to be serious and toil in a life that is perpetually difficult.

An early guest at the St. Jude Retreat once explained, “As a child, I was taught that life is a struggle. If you endure enough strife, and prove to God that you too are willing to bear the cross of life’s hardships, you will get a ticket to heaven when it’s all over. I now know that, yes, there are natural human challenges and even tragedies in life, but I also learned as I grew older and met successful people that happiness and fulfillment are the driving motivations that endure rather than the fear based nonsense I grew up with.”

Building a positive quality of life demands work. Those who believe in a passive existence think that theirs is the easy life, in which they have little control over circumstances. Paradoxically this results in a very difficult life. Nothing is free. You cannot eat without earning the food you need to survive. Even the homeless must work. They need to find shelter and they need to find the soup kitchens to survive. One must ask why not take all that effort and put it into productive living that has a much greater return on investment. Purpose drives that kind of motivation.

Everyone faces challenges, and is forced to adapt to life’s continuing changing landscape. Sickness and human tragedy exist as part of life, but most people plan and overcome adversity, rather than succumbing to it.

In an international study of forty countries, citizens were polled regarding their respective levels of life satisfaction. In countries where the gross national income per person was above $8,000.00 the happiness level of its citizens did not vary more than 2 points (on a scale of 1 to 10.) This tells us something about people and what makes them happy. Those who were in less affluent countries such as Brazil and Chile, but still over the $8,000.00 per person level, reported results similar to those from more affluent nations, such as the United States, Denmark, and Switzerland. It is clear then that satisfaction is not always dependent on money or even political circumstances, but rather on how people react to economic and political circumstances. (Seligman, 2002)

The study also demonstrated that even in countries considered oppressive, the citizens were able to make the best of it and responded to the poll as quite satisfied when compared to more liberated countries. Interestingly, the countries with the lowest financial resources, lower than $8,000.00, did not end up lowest on the scale of life satisfaction. One of the poorest nations, Nigeria, was within 1.77 points of the highest ranked, Switzerland, for life satisfaction. Paradoxically, Japan, one of the highest financially ranked countries in the world was .06 points less than Nigeria! Life satisfaction it seems is based on cultural and personal belief systems, not on circumstances many of which may be out of your direct control. With this said, it is important to look at how you react to the world around you and also why you think the way you do.

Influencing a child’s mind with guilt and a belief that happiness can only be achieved through pain is likely to produce an adult who will attach anything positive to something equally emotionally painful e.g. marriages filled with bright moments, but equally shot through with painful arguments; or careers with promising beginnings stifled by self-sabotaging poor performance. How many people in the world believe they should live in emotional pain because that’s what they were taught? Why do people accept pain as normal? It is because they believe in it. They believe that is what they deserve. If you struggle with this belief, it is time to put these self-images to rest and demand more from life. Do not be one who believes unhappiness is the norm. Become someone who believes in your power to create happiness in your life and in the lives of others.

The guest mentioned earlier stated, “After I was told that life is a struggle, I spent the next 6 years hating God, hating religion, and needlessly trying to buck the system by proving that living by instant gratification had to be better than any crosses I was supposed to bear. As I grew older and wiser I met enough good people in my small world that I learned that living as a bitter lonesome kid with a chip on my shoulder was painful. So I chose a better path. I saw that I did not have to live with guilt, nor did I have to be a slave to instant gratification. I could choose to be responsible for my own happiness and I could choose to work hard for my happiness. And, I discovered that merely the act of working for happiness, created it. I accepted these values, and like billions across the planet, found satisfaction in my daily routines. I had accepted that “Life is duty, and duty is happiness.” This one statement brought my life out of the cellar. I was further encouraged by the idea that I get to pick the duty.”

By allowing yourself to let go of guild and dream, you can decide to be happy. If you struggle with guilt because of a traditional religious upbringing, or if your Faith is important to you but you still struggle with guilt, think about this: God created you so He could experience happiness through you. If you are not a believer in God, simply believe in happiness over misery. Dedicate yourself to finding happiness in your life by bringing it to others. Isn’t it much more pleasant to feel good than to feel bad? Isn’t that what you want for yourself and your family?

People have emotional gauges within them. Your happiness gauge measures how close you are to recognizing the personal strength within you and how well you are using your natural talents. Each person has certain mental and physical attributes. These should be used to build the person you would like to become. Use these talents to pursue your purpose in life, to create, in whatever form you see fit, anything that betters you and those around you. Aren’t you worth giving yourself the best? By giving yourself this gift, you can share that benefit, making others feel just as valuable and loved.

Some people believe in a grand plan or destiny and at times they find comfort in this, but other times the concept can be crippling. The truth is there is no grand plan; you get to write the script. You are the author and director of your own life. Whether you believe your abilities are from God or just happened, it is completely up to you to use them as you see fit. That is the beauty of free will.