ME: The Aussies are getting their asses kicked here.JEFF: Serves them right for getting distracted by soccer and cricket.ME: Didn’t they lose the Ashes this year?JEFF: Serves them right for getting distracted by soccer.ME: What are you going to say if they don’t win the World Cup?JEFF: Serves them right for getting distracted by rugby.ME: Well, you’re consistent.
(Enter DAD.)DAD: Are you watching the rugby?JEFF: It’s either that or some really weird football.ME: We’re watching the rugby.JEFF: You might want to leave so it doesn’t get ruined for you.DAD: I already saw it.ME: Then why are you recording it?DAD: I’m recording it?JEFF: That’s what the little blinking light on the PVR says.DAD: Well, I got up early and watched it live.ME: So you already watched the English bashing in the Australians?DAD: (mysteriously) Wait a while.JEFF: Well, there’s no point in watching this now. Switch it to football.DAD: What do you mean?JEFF: You just said “wait a while” in this supposed-to-be-mysterious voice. Thanks for telling us as obviously as possible that Australia wins.DAD: I didn’t say they won. I said to keep watching.JEFF: Chris, back me up on this. What do you think the odds are that Australia wins, given Dad’s mystery-voice?ME: I would say they’re very good, Jeff.JEFF: Of course you would. That’s because we’re not stupid.DAD: Well, you never know. Oh, look at Ashley-Cooper. The English just can’t stop him.JEFF: You are possibly the least convincing liar ever.ME: It’s impressive to consider the English losing after they’ve spent the first half basically mauling Australia. I mean, look at the English players. They don’t look like professional athletes. They look like really angry plumbers.JEFF: I think all rugby players look like really angry plumbers. This is the only sport where professional athletes can have beer guts.ME: Maybe the English lose because somebody tells them that the magic feathers they were given aren’t in fact magic, and it was them all along, and they lose faith in themselves.JEFF: “Yes, Tom, we’re getting word that the English players have discovered that these are in fact just plain old pigeon feathers, and not feathers from the magical flying dress of Queen Elizabeth. Look at that fullback there, crying as he clutches his useless, non-magical feather.”ME: “As I recall, Sid, something like this happened at Wallybelly in 1967, when the All Blacks beat Wales eleventy billion to three. Do you remember if that was something like this?”JEFF: “Well, Tom, that was a bit different. That was a case where the players thought their jerseys had been personally blessed by Jesus Christ, but it turned out to just be a sarcastic hippie.”DAD: (having ignored all of this as he watches the rugby) You know, the Springboks beat England a little while back and set a record, they beat them so bad? That’s the magic of the fall international tour, you know. The southern hemisphere comes up north and kicks the asses of everyone up here, and people pay to see it happen.ME: You’re going to New Zealand in 2011, right?DAD: Planning to.ME: Yeah, but if Canada qualifies, who do you cheer for?DAD: I’d cheer for both South Africa and Canada, obviously.ME: But what if they’re in the same pool?JEFF: You really don’t have to ask that.
(shared look that says “South Africa, duh”)

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Now Chris, I thought you were cool, I thought we could be buddies… but then you go and say ‘soccer’ when referring to true, real football. It kills me man, it really does.

Much as I enjoy the fall tour, and rugby in general, I really like it if the Federation would finally allow Argentina in some of the yearly games, I’m tired of playing exhibition games till the world cup (and then beating the French, but you can’t get tired of beating the French, specially on their home turf)

@Enlight_Bystand: Reaaaallly now? I seem to recall a certain match, with a certain country and a certain awesome goal (no, not the one with the hand) that says otherwise… Sorry, but I got to tease you Brits for anything I’ve got, as things are going lately, this World Cup will finish any bragging rights we had once and for all.

I miss the days when the only thing English rugby players were good at was shagging Princess Diana.

Weirdly, this weekend I had to explain rugby to a Canadian. She gave the impression that the sport is unheard of in the Great White North, so I was ready to dismiss the whole nation as a bunch of hockey-playing Philistines. And then this post came along.

Ah, the glories of being an American, and faithfully knowing that you will lose at Rugby, and at Soccer.

I think of football(soccer) as the Robbie Williams of professional sports. Number one chart topper. Except in the US, where they release that one video in the middle of the night, where you throw meat at supermodels.

And every couple of years people discover it, go “that’s odd” and return to thinking about things that really matter. Like Football (american) and Jessica Simpson.

It may not be a perfect metaphor. Except of course for Sing While Your Winning, the CD that proved Robbie would never actually break the US market, what with the self indulgent half art of an entire world full of Robbies. Playing soccer. And sitting in hot tubs. And playing soccer.

Leading to sad wikipedia entries like this: The album had spent 91 weeks inside the UK Charts, going on to sell 2.4 Million copies in the UK alone being certified 8x Platinum by the BPI.[3] The album became the best selling album of 2000 in the country and the 51st Best Selling album in UK Music History.[4] The album went on to sell over 6 million copies Worldwide.[citation needed]

The album found little success in the United States, peaking at 110 in the Billboard 200.[5]

In short: Soccer. Peaking at 110 on the Billboard 200.

Which is just as well, as I’m pretty sure the rest of the world is happier with it that way.

PS: I know a lot more about Robbie Williams than soccer. So do most americans. Contemplate that.

I have firm plans to abandon my homeland come 2011; there are enough rugbyheads here already without the mass importation the Cup will bring. (Although you dad is welcome, it’s the English and Aussie yobbos I really can’t welcome).

The US, it pains me to say, are actually quite good at the association game these days – they’re the only team that’ve beaten Spain in 3 or 4 years. I mean, they won’t win the World Cup, but you know. They’ll probably get to the last 8 or 16.

So yeah, why SAf? I mean, I’m Scottish which means No Choices, whereas if you support a team outside the top ten or so in RU – I suppose there isn’t terribly much point, so tiered is the game. Hot tip: even though Argentina are really good, only one of five countries will conceivably win NZ 2011 – the hosts, their neighbours, SAf, >ack< England or France.

When the US male football/soccer team manages to conquer a trophy of some sort – which I believe WILL happen sooner or later, considering the steady improvement of their national team – the American audience will suddenly take interest in the most popular sport on Earth. When that happens, and it will happen eventually, they have the potential to become actual contenders. Especially now that the US soccer federation finally gave up on trying to make their NT play like South Americans (lightweight, quick and skillful) and started applying a more German approach to the game (based on physical strenght and a well-rehearsed repertoire that is repeated until they wear out the opposition). I mean, I respect the ambition to make their team play flamboyantly, but that was never a good fit for their players.

Rubgy? If/when the Earth is invaded by aliens, we should send all the planet’s professional rugby players as our first line of defense, and we can even save the weapons for the second line of defense (which we probably won’t need). The sight of that horde of toothless scarred howling misfits running at them would make any invading force think twice about staying.

I had no idea Canadians had any interest in Rugby. Is it only because of your South African dad? (I KNOW South Africans love rugby.)
I had no idea rugby was played in Argentina or France until I read these comments. I’d only heard of it being popular in Commonwealth countries (or former Commonwealth countries in the case of South Africa).
I’m an ignorant American. What do I know?

For some reason, many people around the world seem completely mystified by Americans’ lack of interest in soccer and other international sports. But the simple fact is, professional sports were invented in the 19th Century in both Britain and the US. These were the two most developed countries at the time, so it makes sense. And since it happened seperately in both places, it makes sense that they came up with seperate sports. And Canada, catching up quickly, invented hockey.
But since Europe hadn’t come up with their own games yet, they just adopted the British ones from next door. And of course, since European countries dominated the world at the time, every other country ended up with the British games as well. Except in North America, because we already had our own. (And of course, the US games spread into Canada, and hockey spread to the US, because every cultural trend spills across that border sooner or later.)
Since baseball was the first big sport in America, it was the one that spread into Latin America at the same time as the European games, and that’s why it ranks second to soccer in this hemisphere. (I’m not sure how baseball made it into Japan and other parts of East Asia.)
But if it weren’t for 19th Century imperialism, nobody would wonder why soccer and rugby are ignored in North America. They would simply be European sports, just as North American sports are North American, and other parts of the world would have their own sports.

I don’t know why I bothered to explain all this. Sometimes subjects just come bubbling up and I have to tell the whole story to people who aren’t interested.

Oh, and I should state for the record that the rest of the world is right in one respect– American football is a really stupid game with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and anybody who likes it is clearly insane or retarded.

I’ll give you guys three guesses and the first two can’t be “guess where my dad was born. No, go on.”

It did occur to write this question and then I guess I forgot or something. Rugby can be a bit different, in that it’s a lot less tribalistic and more convivial than football so I guess I thought *something something, weak excuses*

I’m stunned at all this surprise at Canadians knowing about rugby, and disgusted at the story of the Canadian girl who claimed to know nothing of it.
The main, most supported/high-profile sports team at my high school in Vancouver was the rugby team*.
The big fundraising target of a whole series of school carnivals & similar events one year was the “rugby tour” that sent the team visiting all over Britain & Ireland. I, a feeble skinny geek at the time, was forced to attempt to play as a regular part of PE class.

*At least, it was when I was there in the late 70s/early 80s. If they’ve replaced it with soccer or gridiron (the crappiest sport ever invented, the Canadian version of which is only slightly less tortuously boring than the American) since then, I hope the people responsible all get bladder infections.

I’m Australian, but I hate Aussie rugby thugs, so I will also be cheering for “anyone but Australia” in any sport we’re good at. I feel okay about cheering us on in real football, even though our team is shamefully called “the Socceroos”. Yes, really.