(Closed) Relocating for engagement/marriage- career advice?

My fiance and I are long distance and have been so since college graduation. He has been interviewing for a new job in NYC (where probably 90% of the jobs in his field are). Meanwhile, my current job is not a great fit, and I’m tired of being away from him. We need to get to the same city in about a year from now at the latest anyway (we’ll be married then!), so I figure I might as well start looking for a new job now as this could take awhile. I could use advice about both dealing with my current employer and interviewing.

First, my current company has no idea I’m considering leaving- they clearly think my fiance will move to the city I currently live in. So I have to keep the job search completely secret. I feel like it will be obvious if all the sudden I’m taking a bunch of days off (so that I can travel across the country for interviews).

I’m also worried about convincing interviewers that I want to relocate, as I have no connections to NYC. I work in an extremely male-dominated and often sexist industry, and I think I’ll be discriminated against if the companies I’m interviewing with think I’m relocating for marriage. I think they’ll worry I’ll want time off for the wedding, move again if my fiance gets relocated, and/or get pregnant. I’m planning on not wearing my engagement ring to interviews and not mentioning my fiance. I’m thinking I should just focus on why the job is a good fit for me and vice-versa. I wish so badly I could be upfront about everything, but I don’t think that’s how the world works.

Any advice on a cross-country job search while still employed? Or handling these interviews? Thanks! 🙂

@coastalbee88: I would say you are “relocating to be closer to family”. Which is sort of a white lie, because I suspect your parents don’t live there, but not really because your Fiance is your family now, so you’re relocating to be near him. I would also ask if you can do phone/skype interviews where possible, at least for the first round to save on airfare/sick days.