Hitler/Mitford love child spawned Whore on Terra's Poodle Brothers

London - (Fascist Mess): UK broadsheets are abuzz with the news that British socialite and fascist fellater Unity Mitford gave birth to a love-child by Adolf Hitler who then went on to spawn the Whore on Terra's notorious Poodle Brothers George W Bush and Tony Blair.

Mitford was one of the Second Baron Redesdale's many daughters and scion of a family that married into fascism's upper echelons including the Mosely family who produced Blackshirts leader Sir Oswald Mosely.

Much of her personal papers remain classified under the UK's Official Secrets Act and are held in the same archive files as the Queen Mother's.

But investigative reporters writing in today's Daily Tosser and New Fascist Statesman have claimed to have seen documents that reveal the grisly truth behind this, one of the UK Hellfire Club's most disgusting secrets.

This alleges that Unity Mitford's father's adopted brother, mysteriously spawned by the Jersey-born actress Lily Langtry and brought up under the assumed name of Richard Freeman, became the man generally accepted by world hysterians as Adolf Hitler.

According to some UK sources Unity was 18 years old when the fruit of that union was born. The child was then hurriedly fostered by Hellfire Club grandees to Joseph Stalin's half-sister Helena Lowenstein.

Curiously, this foster-mother herself had mated with Richard Freeman and had a daughter by him whose extraordinary claim to fame was that she was a dead-ringer for the young Princess Elizabeth of York, elder daughter of the subsequent King George VI and his wife Lady Elizabeth Bowels-Lions.

When the Luftwaffe scored a direct hit on Buckingham Palace and the 145 Piccadilly, London residence of the King in September 1940 the only survivor of the tragedy was the 10 year old Princess Margaret. Both her parents and sister perished under the rubble of the bombing.

Rather than tell British voters the awful truth the co-alition government of the day brought in a cunning deception "to tide it over the appalling tragedy" and giveitself some temporary respite while it weighed up options about the ensuing constitutional crisis.

Eventually some lookalike doppelgangers were drafted in to take on apparently temporary roles of im personating King George VI, Queen Elizabeth and their elder daughter Princess.

That doppelganger - the niece of Joseph Stalin and daughter of Baron Redesdale's adopted brother - was then successfully inserted as the Puppet Monarch, a highly perilous position unpheld by successive generations of assorted fascists, Nazis, key IRA bankrollers and terrorism apologists of every bent.

Her half-nephews like their grand-pappy before them discovered a formula to successfully invade a sovreign foreign country without the inconvenience of being held back by the UN.

The entire family DNA catalogue is held in secure vaults at the UK's National Poisons Archive.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

The Secretary General of the United Nation, Ban Ki-moon, announced at a UN assembly that the United Nation has officially classified Texas as a totalitarian government after the state government refuses to respect the U.S. constitution.
The state...

Odessa Tx:Sen Ted Cruz(R)TX has a secret, and he is about to expose it in an upcoming issue of "Horse and Hound" magazine.
Cruz has been busy doing a cover shoot for the equestrian inclined mag since April. "I'm sooooo excited about this cover...

Cyberspace - Online satire publisher The Spoof has begun encrypting bits of its website to make it harder for hackers and cyber spies to monitor the stories its readers are enjoying.
"We want our users to feel real secure," the virtual Editor exp...

After decades of intense hostility, the United States and Cuba have finally agreed to let bygones be bygones and have a fresh start to an era of civility between the two arch-enemies.
Diplomats from both countries signed a treaty stipulating the...

The first ever match between a Sunni and Shiite boxer will take place at Nomadison Square Garden Tent in Baghdad this fall. Kamul Jawkhee and Reghed Saniger will take to the ring in a bout that will determine who will be the next heavyweight champion...

Krak des Chevaliers, Syria - Cops have taped a phone call from a top ISIS commander on the blower to his Mom in the London suburb of Barking, Isle of Dogs, moaning about the theft of his crack stash.
Jihadi John, a.k.a. Mhamed Emwazi bin-the-Khaz...

Saying goodbye to the euro, and not wanting to reintroduce the dreaded drachma, Greece has named its new currency the "big gyro."
Stefan Poopadoopalot, spokesman for what's left of the government in Athens, outlined exactly what goes into a bi...