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French plot to smuggle migrants into UK uncovered

France’s President Macron is under fire following the uncovering of a plot to flood the UK with migrants on the pretext of loaning the Bayeux Tapestry to the UK as a peace offering to Theresa May in the run up to Brexit.

The plot, according to MI5, was to hide scores of migrants inside rolled up sections of a fake Bayeux Tapestry and release them onto British soil right under the nose of the Government.

Suspicions arose after three migrants were found inside a French lorry at Dover, in a consignment of Chantilly Lace destined for exclusive gown shops in London’s West End. Under questioning details of a larger plot was discovered concerning the Tapestry.

A spokesman for MI5 said, ‘We believe we have stopped a sneaky plan by Mr Macron to divert post-Brexit immigration issues by loaning the Tapestry to the UK and smuggling in scores of migrants while simultaneously flattering the Government with his magnaninmous gesture.’

The Prime Minister has been criticised for not heeding previous warnings by advisors and observers about the danger of befriending the French.

In an earlier email to Mrs May by the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, it was revealed that he warned her to ‘…be afraid of the Frogs, even those bearing gifts.’ Similarly, BBC correspondent Laura Kuenssberg predicted, ‘…the arrival of the Tapestry would see the downfall of Brexit negotiations and the collapse of Europe.’

Speaking from the eighteenth hole at Mar-a-Lago President Trump said, “I told Prime Minister Queen Victoria, when we met last year, that gangs of migrants would soon arrive in Britainlandshire to commit murder, rape and scroungery, but who knew they’d try and sneak in inside the world’s longest and dirtiest old tea towel ever. WOW!”