Read through my thoughts as I write them while I stare blank at the mirror humans call Life.

Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Nov 12, 2008

Two months ago, I was in a crossroad — like a high school teeny-bopper trying to choose what course to take up in college. I spent some here and a little with this and that just to comply, let’s say, with what life has to offer. Honestly, got to experience some kind of adrenaline rush — the kind of excitement a little girl would feel when Mom got her a new lacy dress and just as she thought her happiness was overwhelming, Pop arrives with her favorite candy cane wrapped in fancy-colored glossy paper with twirling ribbons that added to its attraction. Can you imagine that feeling?

How about this?

While trying the little lacy dress on, the girl’s pet dog got the same excitement as she did and jumped over her, ripping off all the pink and white laces off her dress, leaving some saliva stains on the satin undergarment. And because of shock, she dropped the candy cane on the floor and the overly excited dog turned its drooling hunger to her cane and ran off with it so fast that nobody got their wits to ran after the dog and get the poor girl’s candy cane back. Now what’s the feeling?

The latter is what I feel now. The crossroads disappeared at an instant. Burst like a bubble. Worst… no traces of roads what-so-ever. What’s left are just murky ground, thorny bushes and my dismay.

Yamoj was right… sometimes we come to a point where decisions have to be made just for the sake of it. Will I return to that foxhole I thought was my comfort zone and get gulped by the quicksand in that foxhole and never get the chance to be seen again and in return see the world, which, no matter how unfair sometimes it may seem, it is still beautiful and wonderful with all its mysterious ironies?

Nah!

Maybe Plan A just wouldn’t work for me.

Anyway, Plan B is what I initially looked forward to before the rush of excitement invaded my little privie.

So, guess I have to stand with pride, pick myself up, dust my sleeve off and start again. This is what life is all about anyway.