Meghan McCain opened up to Playboy about her life as a famous politician’s daughter (and politico in her own right), her time interning for Saturday Night Live, and Bristol Palin. The outspoken blonde has some fightin’ words for the Game Changer’s daughter. Below, we pick some of the best bites from her “20 questions” interview.

On Bristol Palin: “That girl biffed it fast, totally took off. All that stuff she wrote [in her book about me] was a total lie. … She’s just young and confused and was thrust into all this. The media aren’t kind to her. But once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize.”

So, yeah…: “Hell would freeze over before I would do a reality show. I’ve been offered everything you could possibly imagine, and it just doesn’t interest me. You certainly won’t see me dancing on TV. “

Her obsession with gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson: “I love, love, love Hunter. … I’ve been considering getting his quote “Buy the ticket, take the ride” tattooed on my body, but I haven’t decided.” [Unsurprisingly, she noted that the quote could sound “really sexual” inked on her body.]

What gets her worked up: “If he can make me laugh, I don’t care if he looks like Zach Galifianakis; it’s an instant turn-on.”

And on her friendships with Rachel Maddow and Tila Tequila: “Honey, you’re nobody unless you have a gay rumor about you. I’ve been hit on by women from time to time, and it might simplify my life if I were gay, but no. Rachel and Tila are just great people. … I’d be the first person to tell the world I was gay. I’m not private about anything. I think you should live how you should live. But I’m strictly d—ly. I can’t help it. I love sex and I love men.”

What do you think, PopWatchers? Are you popping the corn (another of McCain’s SNL duties) for a throwdown between the two GOP heiresses? Should Galifianakis be flattered or insulted? If she had a sudden change of heart, would you watch a McCain reality show?