He screams foul abuse and gets a female photographer ejected, although she was only doing her job while Billy did his.

Unlike Helen, however, there are no second thoughts or apologies afterwards from our most famous comedian.

But then that’s Silly Billy for you. Lovely guy, but get on his wrong side and expect to get it in the neck. Take it from one who knows.

I SEE the Scotch Whisky Association lost their legal action against the Scottish Government’s Bill to bring in a minimum price for alcohol.

Not that the booze industry is giving up. It says it will fight this one all the way to the Supreme Court and beyond at God alone knows how much cost to taxpayers. Now, I realise I am hopelessly old-fashioned about these things, but shouldn’t it be the politicians who make the law rather than the SWA? Furthermore, with the police, the medical profession and the evidence on the side of the higher price, it’s time the industry accepted it. It might almost put drinking back to where it belongs – in our pubs, which have been clobbered unfairly by the supermarkets who shamelessly use alcohol as a loss leader. Me, I wouldn’t let them sell it at all. And don’t give me any bull about the drinks lobby being on the side of the moderate drinkers. They’re only on the side of their immoderate profits. Meanwhile, if someone is indeed a moderate drinker, they’ll hardly be affected by the increase in unit price. But if they’re not, then sorry, they’re probably drinking too much.

There are more working cranes in London than in the rest of the entire UK. That doesn’t surprise me because the most heavily subsidised part of the country sucks up everything – apart from the recession of course. That’s just for the rest of GB.

It makes them all look like walking duvet covers. Maybe it’s a collective case of the Empress’s new clothes? PS. And no, I shall not be searching for the perfect pair of jeans this spring, because I am probably the only person who has NEVER felt the need to stick her rear end in denim.

THINK Ma’am is contemplating doing a Fergie. Not totally abdicating from Team Windsor, perhaps, but handing over the more onerous bits of the job to Chas.

But even if she is happy to involve the son and heir more, HM will, like Sir Alex at Man U, still be a presence in the background. Both HM and AF are very hard acts to follow. Good luck to those who try to do it.