My favorite was this "Periodic Table of Heavy Metals" I saw once, where most of the genres were wrong or had odd band choices, but the kicker was the black metal section, which was missing literally every single huge second wave band like Darkthrone, Mayhem, Satyricon, Burzum, Emperor, and any other huge name you can imagine. But what band was found under black metal? Fucking Underoath.

"Best exodus album. When you are listening at it just pure hate running in your veins. All bands members do their best to bring that hate out. Really great vocals from Paul . He sounds like a fucking beast who wants to pick up a fight. Gary Holt and Rick Hunolt did some really great job. Riffs of this lp are intense and when you hearing at it adrenaline comes in high level. As for rythm section Rob Mckillop and Tom Hunting played tighted and they closed the hole package of mental lp.All songs are top and no fillers included here. Every song wrote its own history in thrash metal . Bonded by blood is included in top 10 of the best thrash albums and i recomended to all mental and sick fans of that music.as Paul screams :turn to look at baphometfrom below and not abovewelcome to my sacrificetonight there'll be no love!"

Reading that and seeing the Manowar cover on the right the entire time made it look like some twisted Manowarrior's fantasy that no one should have ever known.

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gomorro wrote:

Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pmPosts: 7330Location: The Land Down Under (no, not THAT one)

Posted: Fri May 03, 2013 11:46 am

You know, that review would be quite scary if it was messily scribbled on a wall without some kind of context. Shit's crazy.

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MutantClannfear wrote:

I love that the reviews for the new Dying Fetus get abbreviated on the front page of MA as "Wrong One to Fuck..." Sounds like a remorseful concept album dealing with John Gallagher's experiences with STIs.

Seems someone "butchered" the lyrics from the Cannibal Corpse song "Edible Autopsy"

Wheeled in on a cart, lying dormant not deadHospital of immortality, butcher their patients bloody redTaken to a dark room, fear of impending doomThe doctor straps you down, with an evil grinGrabs his rusty blade, ripping through flesh and veinHe tortures his patients through evil means

You can't try to fight them, first they change your brainbeyond the realm of evil, their means are insaneMutilated beyond belief, but still kept alivePathologist of death gouging out your eyes

Guts and blood, bones are brokenAs they eat your pancreasHuman liver, for their dinerOr maybe soup with eyesCause of death, still unknownGnawing meat, from your bonesBone saw binding in your skullBrains are oozing a human stumpNeedles injected, through your eyesPuiling off flesh, skinned alive

Killing for free in blood they will trust, and they must never forsakefeeding on blood that brought them abound, and they must kill tonightGenocide, suicide, screaming cries, in hell you will die

Lying dormant not deadHospital of immortality, butcher their patients bloody redTaken to a dark room, fear of impending doomThe doctor straps you down, with an evil grinGrabs his rusty blade, ripping through flesh and veinHe tortures his patients through evil means

-Plagiarized-Self review-Mostly in French-A couple words in English too-Random CAPITALIZATION-Spaces before punctuation-Inconsistent spacing before/after punctuation-Missing space between words-One paragraph without proper line breaks-Poor grammar in French, according to Tony.

1) There will be noneSo, everything that must contains opening track we have here – catchy and blasting composing,without any failures. First thing which deserved mentioning is an atmosphere. AETERNUS was brutal and furious on Ascension of Terror, cold and crushing on A Darker Monument, epic and mystical on first two releases, but now their dark art sounds solemnly and grandiose. Yeah, especially from 4th minute of that song, I had a feeling like I’m an god of war flying over scorched battlefields, observing plains of bloodshed and wrath. Chaos and majesty embodied in sound.Combination of sharpened riffs and blastbeats sounds great, but for sure, now Ares must hire a good sound engineer for a live performance to do not let these elements disappear in bad sound.

2) And The Seventh His Soul Detesteth Haha, this is a Godhead Charlatan part II))) Beginning of a song and a second riff sounds similar to this track)). What can I mention here – good mix of bass guitar, here I hear clearly as bass gave a feeling of strain to whole song. In difference of previous track, this song is fulfilled with a sense of fear and awaiting of something doom to come. Terris made an excellent job, outlining accents in riffs with a snare drum and hihat. Great solo outbreak from 3:24 which outgrow to typical “laces” of Aeternus riffing. Seems like this song would be an often played live song.

3) SpurcitiasOne of my favorites on this album. Some kind of conceptual song. For me this track like a little opera – very variative: from doom and epic pieces to fast ride of blastbeating fury, and especially great trick from 2:30 – atmospherical and bombasting trance with Ares’ shamanic chant on a back line. Just a mushroom trip))) And in the end known sound of Ares’ acoustic guitars (which I’d differ from a thousand of others) which leads somewhere into misty oblivion… Cosmic ending!

4) Ruin and resurrectThis song is a good example of following concequence – music of Aeternus is a multilayered thing and it’s not possible to judge it after first listening))). I’m joining to choir of critic sluts and proclaim – this song must be written by Morbid Angel in 2010, not Illud Divinum Insanvs)) but for sure, this is not vile plagiarism, just a song which built on their legacy. This song is a best example why changing of studio is harmless for a band. Grinding, bulldozer sound of drums, and especially razor of guitar –in Grieghallen guitars sounded softer. Again I’m tipping my hat before Terris – he’s not just a drummer, he’s musician! Fusion of melodies and rhythms sounds great, all these details with a cymbals is an important part of arrangements, and Terris’ feeling and taste for this are on a high level. Specter’ avant-garde solo from 3:25 – hehe, it come from seventies)) From 5th minute Aeternus started to play death’n’roll, I think, when Erik will listen to it he’ll want to come back)))

5) Confusion of tonguesHeh, this song started not very good for me)) Opening riffs is too “light”)) But from 1:20 situation changed radically!! Devastating epic riff with a growling bass line (thank you for upping bass during mastering))) Very good vocal arrangement, which started from your “trademark” shamanic voice and developing to crushing growling – just fabulous! And of course 2:30 – AMAZING SOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could compare it with legendary Ild Dans solo – airy and elegant, melodic and catchy! It was a sign of destiny which led Specter to line up))) Last blastbeat melodies are simple and sounds dark, but IMHO it seems like they come from another song, hehe)))

6) Hubris

Hmmmmmm… This is a most strange moment for me)) Ares should start same career of Jesse Cook and record acoustic album. Without doubt, Ares had a brilliant talent to compose an acoustic stuff. But IMHO, this piece is too “light” for AETERNUS album. It sounds not mystically, doomy or epic (as I guess Aeternus acoustic pics should sound), it sounds romantically))) Ok, this is not my case)). But I’ll repeat again it sounds just great but not for this album.

7) Reap what you sawHa, this is my favorite! Absolutely killer stuff! You should play it every show in the middle of performance)) I have a suspicion that this song was written very easily – because listening of this is a very easy! I don’t know who did played solos on this song, but because of them in my mind appeared a ghost of GOREFEST)).

8) SaligiaFor me, this song is a quintessence of an album. It’s a typical AETERNUS’ song with a good attacking riff on a verse, epic passages and offensive rhythm. And of course acoustics – IT’S UNEARTHLY! Comparing to legendary Warrior of Crescent Moon, Saligia’s acoustic solo sounds just excellent and elaborately. Another plus of this album that there are no place for two good songs in the beginning, and all others are just to fulfill the place. All songs have an interesting parts from beginning til the end.

9) The Hand That Severs the Bond of CreationThis is an atmospheric brutal thrash))))) Very good piece of true metal, most intense track of an album IMHO. Very good mood I’ve heard from 1:00 – again I tip my hat before Terris for his tricks with a changing of rhythms, sounds very interesting! I’m sure this song also will be included in live-list of Aeternus.

10) Spirit Of Illumination For me was always interesting why Aeternus used to put intense song in very end of an album)))This was with Lair Of Anubis, Sons Of War and And So The Night Became)) With this song I’ve already started to think again that Ares put killer track as a closure, but NO! Very intense beginning of song started to drown slowly among traditional “swampy” riffs of Aeternus. This song ended so harsh and absolute silence after all. Wow… Even strange))

So, what I can say to finalize it – stuff is a really deserves to be listened to. Aeternus didn’t lost his own face and now it has a solid skeleton of composing, clean vision of melodic lines, ready to fight finally)) It’s surprising how it’s possible to develop style in such a narrow bounds, but this album is an approval that such type of music is still very vital. Minuses? For me it’s just a little lack of vocals here – music sounds very definitely, but voice is a little bit behind. Also IMHO to get more dark atmosphere I would add a reverberation. But this are only my thoughts)))

... and another crappy review right after that one! This has some funny lines in it!

Oniricous is Spanish death metal band. They are playing together since 2011. Ritos Diabolicos is their first relase.

This album contains 36 mins of pure oldschool death metal. Ritos Diabolicos starts with horror stylized acoustic intro. Second track is like brutal kick in your head. Music explose with raw death metal riffs. I must admit that all songs are recorded in Spanish . I think this language suits perfectly for that type of music. For me growl at this Cd sounds like a black mage spells. When El Amuleto is over other song is going to kick your ass. Astrofobos attacks listener with early Death riffs. My favorite track on this album is Laberinto Astral. It is probably the best moment of this CD. Laberinto Astral contains great riffs and brilliant guitar solos. Chuster and Mazo done really great work writing such a great solos at this album. The rythm section is also really great. Good example of that is a song called Reanimador. Bass intro sounds really oldschool and raw. It reminds some of the Cannibal Corpse bass parts. Drums on this Cd sounds brilliant. They are very well recorded and played. In some parts you can also hear thrash influences. It makes this album really oldschool sounding.

Mix of this album is also really good. It sound raw but not in the offense way. Instruments sounds heavy and you have no probleams with hearing vocals. I think this band shows how to deal raw music with new recording technics. Music didn't loose raw power after mastering. Cover art looks fantastic. This piece of art is done by the Spanish comics writer Esteban Maroto. Lyrics are inspired by H.P Lovecraft horror tales.

This Cd is must have for every death metal fan who like bands like Death, Possessed, Autopsy or Gorguts. For me Ritos Diabolicos is going probably to be the best death metal relase of 2013. Can't wait for another album. I really wish them best.

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 amPosts: 2785Location: A step closer to home

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 4:59 pm

I think my favorite part of that second one is "I must admit that all songs are recorded in Spanish", as if that's supposed to be a downside to the overall performance. I laughed really hard at the Sunn O))) punctuation in the first one, too.

I think my favorite part of that second one is "I must admit that all songs are recorded in Spanish", as if that's supposed to be a downside to the overall performance. I laughed really hard at the Sunn O))) punctuation in the first one, too.

For the new Immolation, a 0%...It doesn't make any sense and it's fucking pretentious. This guy apparently writes for Metal Temple too!

"If a woman is on the borderline of making her decision in the area of plastic surgery, then you might be in a bit of a conundrum convincing them otherwise. In America, such a form of surgery is popular for reduction or enhancement. Whatever the case, it’s completely unnatural and disgusting. I’m sure there’s a lot of men who get off at artificial breast/buttock overload (I wouldn’t exactly call them real men either). I’m not an expert in the field and sure there might be some beneficial reasons through surgery not involving reduction/enhancement but for an appearance issue (sexual appeal) I loathe it to the extreme. Natural women are beautiful. Trying to follow the criteria of what a nation defines as “beautiful” is ridiculous. Seeing women of all shapes and sizes is a magnificent thing and to think appearance is highly valued to where formerly beautiful women “enhance” their status through cosmetics and surgery is a bit of a letdown. They’ve become the very thing they were trying to get away from, ironic huh? Do I have you confused? You might be thinking what’s the connection? Well if you’re good at using your critical thinking skills you probably already figured it out. I was very excited to have “Kingdom Of Conspiracy” under my wing and even gloat about how I received this album almost one month before its official release date. Oh how I regret it and should’ve silently listened to “Kingdom Of Conspiracy” behind thick barricades where my existence would've been hidden during the remainder of this suicidal thought-provoking mess of a record.

You have to wonder whom to blame, the victim or the benefactor. Following the ideology of the American society, they have a tendency to blame the victim rather than the opposite end who committed the crime. A lot of other countries look down upon this approach. It’s a tough one; I cannot blame Immolation who I once announced to be one of my favorite death metal bands. I want to condemn the physical location itself because inside are countless numbers of perceived money-hungry surgeons whom might not apply to every single last one of them. Nuclear Blast is an indirect mutilator. Technically, if you look at it from different views, there are a lot of victims. Immolation’s mistake was signing onto Nuclear Blast itself.

Even if the album was given a more natural gut-raping sound, I still would've thought this as an average attempt. The formula is rather basic. It appreciates finding a catchy hook and carrying it through with no surprises what so ever. It’s too forward and predictable. There’s a difference between hypnotic and ground-breaking catchiness, respectively and nonchalant catchiness. This is lazy and authenticity is buried among chambers still filled with secrets to find. As the analogy presented in the preface, everything comes off as synthetic even if technically there are human beings behind its mechanics.

The biggest disappointment is Steve Shalaty. The horrid and robotic-like strikes, humanity being engulfed in travesty turmoil. Computation and precision seem to supersede originality, creativity, and passion. He’s pressured and carried downstream to a puddle of onslaught-programmed blast beats. The woe of the soul is submerged in automaticity."

The whole intro analogy thing vaguely makes sense and I could see how it could be an introduction to a music review, but then it's like his laptop battery was dying starting in the second paragraph, where his analogy morphs into a weird meta-analogy that makes very little sense, then quickly realized he had better talk about the music before the laptop bit the dust, which amounts to basically, "uh...robotic!"

That's awful. Shit; there comes a time when you just need to wrap up your metaphor and just get on with actually reviewing the music. Metaphors are cool, but not when they're that convoluted and masturbatory. That's just really, really poor writing, which is a shame because it's obvious he actually has some talent otherwise.

The review score scale goes from zero to 100. What would be the point of even having zero if no review could get accepted with that score? What about 1%? If that's also too mean for you, what would be an acceptable cut-off? 49% is still failing. How about we change the review system to gold stars or smiley faces?

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 amPosts: 2785Location: A step closer to home

Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:54 pm

Filosofuck wrote:

Why don't you guys reject all the assholes who give things 0 percent?

Because that would essentially eliminate 0% as a frame of reference. If all 0% reviews were auto-rejected, then you'd have to start rejecting all 1% reviews as well since that would be the new minimum score, and so on.

Eliminating 0% is a totally ridiculous concept, but it does make sense to have a bit stricter approach to extreme ratings (<20% and >90%), as these should require a really damn good explanation, and some people just hand them out freely whenever they have a bad day/sudden burst of euphoria. 0% should really be for something that has ZERO value, not for an album you sort of dislike but have some ridiculous ideological grudge against (yes I know I use this word a lot here), and 100% should be for a genuine masterpiece not just a good album.

Eliminating 0% is a totally ridiculous concept, but it does make sense to have a bit stricter approach to extreme ratings (<20% and >90%), as these should require a really damn good explanation, and some people just hand them out freely whenever they have a bad day/sudden burst of euphoria. 0% should really be for something that has ZERO value, not for an album you sort of dislike but have some ridiculous ideological grudge against (yes I know I use this word a lot here), and 100% should be for a genuine masterpiece not just a good album.

Precisely.

BastardHead wrote:

I can sum it up the most succinctly:

"Because we're adults"

No, that's not it.

Metantoine wrote:

We should ban those who say that we should eliminate 0% reviews. Problem solved!

Eliminating 0% is a totally ridiculous concept, but it does make sense to have a bit stricter approach to extreme ratings (<20% and >90%), as these should require a really damn good explanation, and some people just hand them out freely whenever they have a bad day/sudden burst of euphoria. 0% should really be for something that has ZERO value, not for an album you sort of dislike but have some ridiculous ideological grudge against (yes I know I use this word a lot here), and 100% should be for a genuine masterpiece not just a good album.

I wasn't being very specific. My apologies.Anyway, I posted that after seeing this. http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Co ... %B2/189521Here we have an album with mostly great reviews, two moderate ones, and its score is dropped by a fair bit by one ridiculous outlier.

I'm so sorry your life is so sad that you let scores on a website upset you that much. Personally I have enough confidence in my own opinions never to let other peoples' opinions, much less scores of reviews, hurt my feelings. Maybe you should try it.

In that case, I would encourage you to start paying more attention to individual reviewers. It's a well-established fact that Zodijackyl has the musical taste of a three week old doughnut so can be disregarded.