• One of the guest stars is Sasha Brabuster, whose main claim to fame is that she has been the subject of lots of photo shoots and is, uh, “all natural.” I’m sure that’s her real name. Actually, if she had chosen “Sasha Brabender,” I might have believed that. Anyone who read Jim Bouton’s classic “Ball Four” will remember a guy named Gene Brabender. He was an enormous Seattle Pilots pitcher who nailed Bouton’s baseball cleats to the clubhouse floor.

• Trying to have a conversation about former adult-film star Ron Jeremy’s appearance at the expo is a linguistic nightmare. I was trying to convey to MySA.com’s Benjamin Olivo (who was writing the story for Weekender) what we needed to say regarding Jeremy’s popularity at the event. Last year, he couldn’t get to all the people who wanted an autograph or wanted to pose for a picture with him. Just try conveying that point without facing a trip to HR:

“So he couldn’t satisfy all the people in line?” Wait, can’t say that.

“He couldn’t handle the entire crowd?” Nope.

“Too much demand for his services?” Doesn’t work, either.

So if you want some time with Jeremy, you’d best get in line early. I probably could have said that better, too.

Oscar picks

I guess after doing it for almost 10 years, I should explain the funny-looking chart on page 8.

It was borne of boredom with the visuals in the section. I like charts and graphics, so instead of a story, I decided to put our experts’ Oscar picks in the Big Six categories in a more easy-to-read form. The prognosticators include three film critics (the E-N’s Larry Ratliff and the Chicago Boys, Roger Ebert and Michael Wilmington). E-N Entertainment Editor Jim Kiest was also willing, and I figured I’d do it, too.

Larry had an old caricature on file, so I decided to use that instead of a mugshot. He no longer has the mustache, so maybe I should rethink that. Kiest and I, being publicity-shy, ink-stained wretches, didn’t want our pictures in the paper. We leave that stuff to the music columnists. Jim decided he wanted to be the Silver Surfer. I’ve always admired Marvin the Martian. The image of Marvin came from a keychain my kids gave me for my birthday.

Once the template was established, I decided to take one for the team. By making gag picks and getting everything wrong, I figured the other guys would look good no matter how bad they screwed up. My shtick includes usually picking a nominated actor or actress in the wrong film, and a nonhuman character in the supporting categories. Last year’s supporting actor and actress choices were, respectively, the shirt in “Brokeback Mountain” and the pants in “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.” One year, I chose “Johnson Family Vacation” as Best Picture. How could I not?