SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA— After discovering a lone pencil in front of the smoking area outside the Robert E. Kennedy Library, a homeless man has given Justin Rodriguez, a 21 year old Graphic Arts major, a lethal dose of graphite directly to his neck. Justin bled out within minutes.

The event occurred outside the Kennedy Library near the bus stop. “I am just in shock”, says Communications major Katherine Sawyer, a witness of the stabbing. “The Dixon Ticonderoga® Pencil still maintained its sharp edge, a true testament to the overall quality of the product.” Sawyer goes on to exclaim, “I may even consider carrying a few of those pencils in my backpack alongside the mechanical pencils I regularly use, but then I’d have to get a pencil sharpener and that could run me a few bucks.”

No official statement has been released from Dixon, the powerhouse behind both Ticonderoga® black and Ticonderoga® yellow pencils, they are probably more concerned with their far more popular product line of mechanical pencils. However, it’s important to note the impact that the traditionalist non-mechanical elite has on trying to live in the past, R.I.P. Justin Rodriguez.