I have this unbelievable fear of overreacting to a symptom. For some reason, I am terrified that one of these days, I am going to make a big deal out of a symptom that turns out to be nothing. There is no logical reason for this fear considering my symptoms are always linked to a cause, but this fear causes me to keep things to myself. Unfortunately, keeping things to my self, also means that I sometimes let symptoms continue instead of getting them checked out. The average person (no offense) tends to play up their symptoms with other people, but I continually down play them. It's like I don't want to be seen as needy so instead I just keep it to myself. When I finally do tell someone they ask me why I didn't tell them sooner. I typically respond by telling them I was keeping an eye in things and I didn't want anyone to over react. The only problem is that there is no such thing as overreacting with my disease, because it is so unpredictable and severe. One time what I thought was just bruises on my legs ended up being swollen nodes called erathyma nodosum. This time what I though were just migraines, was actually mono...again. Also, I think I do not want to be perceived as weak, so i want to tough things out, but is that even good for me? Probably not, but I think it is part of my personality. So basically it takes more strength for me to man up and admit I don't feel well than it does for me to tough it out. Keeping it in is not the hard part, learning to share my symptoms and feeling bad with others is what is really difficult for me. All of this to say, that I am working on being a better communicator about my symptoms and how I am feeling, because people can't help you if you don't let them into your not so normal life.

It's like when someone always complains of being sick or hurting. You just wish the pain they felt was the only pain we felt. I just want to tell them to shut up already. I am usually afraid to go to the ER with some of my symptoms, always hospitalized and usually for obstructions even though I have an ileostomy. Some symptoms I just over look even though I know they are probably related to something else that is wrong. Just don't want to hear anything more negative.

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I've got 8 scars and am missing two feet of intestines and my life isn't normal, but whose life is normal? I want to use my experiences to help you, even if it means sharing embarrassing experiences. I am also looking to break the stigmas associated with IBD in order to make living with IBD just a little bit easier. Hope you enjoy!