Sometimes I would shut them down by saying "Oh heck! I don't want a girl!"

I have 3 girls, so I got the reverse. Nobody got terribly pushy about it, but it didn't taper off until the youngest was in Jr High, I think. We had various replies we used - 1) nope, 3 is enough, 2) but I don't KNOW boy bottoms, I know GIRL bottoms!, 3) You realize I'd have to buy all new clothing, 4) Daddy likes his harem, 5) we HAVE a boy - he's just furry and meows.... (and the only serious one other than #1) 6) I'd purely HATE to have #4 hear all her life that we only had her because we wanted a boy but we got a girl anyway (and it was pretty much a given that I'd have another girl by then).

Funny, I personally found the boy pushing (because it wasn't super pushy for us) to be much less offensive than the asking me how many fathers/husbands were involved in our family..... THAT one really angered me. I took to glaring at people who asked it (and they were legion) and saying, "I BEG your pardon?" in a fairly hostile tone of voice.

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Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma. Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire! True fact: Eggs can be just as hard to unload as zucchini!

Sometimes I would shut them down by saying "Oh heck! I don't want a girl!"

I have 3 girls, so I got the reverse. Nobody got terribly pushy about it, but it didn't taper off until the youngest was in Jr High, I think. We had various replies we used - 1) nope, 3 is enough, 2) but I don't KNOW boy bottoms, I know GIRL bottoms!, 3) You realize I'd have to buy all new clothing, 4) Daddy likes his harem, 5) we HAVE a boy - he's just furry and meows.... (and the only serious one other than #1) 6) I'd purely HATE to have #4 hear all her life that we only had her because we wanted a boy but we got a girl anyway (and it was pretty much a given that I'd have another girl by then).

Funny, I personally found the boy pushing (because it wasn't super pushy for us) to be much less offensive than the asking me how many fathers/husbands were involved in our family..... THAT one really angered me. I took to glaring at people who asked it (and they were legion) and saying, "I BEG your pardon?" in a fairly hostile tone of voice.

They asked you what now? Excuse me, I need to fetch the ladder so I can get my eyebrows down from the ceiling...

I have a DD with another DD on the way. When I mentioned that I was having a second girl, a few people actually said "Oh well, next time you can try for the boy". We are very happy with having 2 girls and never said anything about needing a boy or having any more kids. Besides kids are not like a menu at a restaurant, you can't place an order for a certain gender and expect it to pop out 9 months later. You get what you get. I've known families that had half a dozen children of one gender and none of the other. I tell naysayers that I am already prepped for this baby and that I hope the girls will have a lot in common being the same gender and close in age.

I too have two sons, in their mid 20s. I honestly never missed having a girl, though I will admit that my late Dh did, somewhat...Part of my reason is that I felt that I'd have been terribly hard on/critical of a girl, due to my own upbringing. But, you get what you get. If I'd had a girl, I'd have had to do my best to get past my own background.

But I still found it incredible that so many people thought (well, still think) that a successful family must include children of both sexes. Around 20 years ago I knew a family that welcomed their third daughter/third child and seemed to feel the need to declare "our third girl, and we are so happy!" Of course they were, but it seemed to be a defensive-happy (as in, they mentioned it within about a half-minute) - almost as if they were trying to fend-off "oh, too bad that it wasn't a boy".

But of course there was good old Queen Victoria. Upon the birth of her first child "oh, Madam, it is a Princess", her reply was "never mind, the next one will be a Prince".

Sometimes I would shut them down by saying "Oh heck! I don't want a girl!"

I have 3 girls, so I got the reverse. Nobody got terribly pushy about it, but it didn't taper off until the youngest was in Jr High, I think. We had various replies we used - 1) nope, 3 is enough, 2) but I don't KNOW boy bottoms, I know GIRL bottoms!, 3) You realize I'd have to buy all new clothing, 4) Daddy likes his harem, 5) we HAVE a boy - he's just furry and meows.... (and the only serious one other than #1) 6) I'd purely HATE to have #4 hear all her life that we only had her because we wanted a boy but we got a girl anyway (and it was pretty much a given that I'd have another girl by then).

Funny, I personally found the boy pushing (because it wasn't super pushy for us) to be much less offensive than the asking me how many fathers/husbands were involved in our family..... THAT one really angered me. I took to glaring at people who asked it (and they were legion) and saying, "I BEG your pardon?" in a fairly hostile tone of voice.

They asked you what now? Excuse me, I need to fetch the ladder so I can get my eyebrows down from the ceiling...

Yeah, I need a shovel to scoop my jaw up from the floor. Who SAYS that??

You know, some people just get stuck on "balance". Go out to eat with people and ask somebody to pass the salt. Even though you specify salt some people feel compelled to pass the pepper with the salt because an incomplete set just doesn't make sense.

I used to only pass the requested one until I was taught that good etiquette dictates that you pass them both.

I think someone made that one up -- probably because they were uncomfortable with the "imbalance." I can't imagine that good etiquette requires you to ignore someone's specific request. If they wanted salt and pepper, they can ask for both.

Actually, ArtK, I was taught that too. You pass them both, even if only one is requested.

My parents had several girls before having a boy. Then they decided he needed a brother, so two more pregnancies followed--both also girls. It's not like keeping having kids is a guarantee the other gender will occur.

Sometimes I would shut them down by saying "Oh heck! I don't want a girl!"

I have 3 girls, so I got the reverse. Nobody got terribly pushy about it, but it didn't taper off until the youngest was in Jr High, I think. We had various replies we used - 1) nope, 3 is enough, 2) but I don't KNOW boy bottoms, I know GIRL bottoms!, 3) You realize I'd have to buy all new clothing, 4) Daddy likes his harem, 5) we HAVE a boy - he's just furry and meows.... (and the only serious one other than #1) 6) I'd purely HATE to have #4 hear all her life that we only had her because we wanted a boy but we got a girl anyway (and it was pretty much a given that I'd have another girl by then).

Funny, I personally found the boy pushing (because it wasn't super pushy for us) to be much less offensive than the asking me how many fathers/husbands were involved in our family..... THAT one really angered me. I took to glaring at people who asked it (and they were legion) and saying, "I BEG your pardon?" in a fairly hostile tone of voice.

They asked you what now? Excuse me, I need to fetch the ladder so I can get my eyebrows down from the ceiling...

IKNOW, RIGHT!?!?!? I'd say more than a dozen women asked me that! I was flabberghasted to the MAX. I would never ask that, no matter how close I was to the mother. EVAR!

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Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma. Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire! True fact: Eggs can be just as hard to unload as zucchini!

Love the conversations ! Thanks for giving me more ideas to shoot at this lady! LOL

When I am out and about in the community and people comment, its almost always lighthearted and kind. It's just this office lady who keeps pestering and pestering. She has been married twice, is single currently. Has 3 kids....3 dads....2 boys and a girl. LOL

If it doesn't stop, Im going to start asking her when she is going to commit to a long term commitment! LoL Or maybe play up my upcoming wedding to my FIRST husband.

Thanks for the conversations....I enjoyed reading them and I'm happy to hear everyone so positive! The family we each have is perfect for us. Nothing more too it than that.

If it doesn't stop, Im going to start asking her when she is going to commit to a long term commitment! LoL Or maybe play up my upcoming wedding to my FIRST husband.

Please don't. Both of these are retaliatory rudeness and that isn't condoned here. You've been given plenty of responses that work fine in etiquette in the posts above.

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Given its location in the "All in a Day's Work" area, I thought this thread was going to be about dealing with people who call their female clerical help their "girl." Yes, people still do this: "I'll have my girl send it to you." Even if said "girl" is a grandmother.

As far as Ms. Busybody, I hope I could come up with something like, "Having children of both genders isn't important to me -- I love my boys and don't feel any lack not having a girl. Why is the composition of my family so important to you?"

She probably thinks she is just making small talk, but someone needs to tell her nicely that this sort of small talk can cause big offense.

Sometimes I would shut them down by saying "Oh heck! I don't want a girl!"

I have 3 girls, so I got the reverse. Nobody got terribly pushy about it, but it didn't taper off until the youngest was in Jr High, I think. We had various replies we used - 1) nope, 3 is enough, 2) but I don't KNOW boy bottoms, I know GIRL bottoms!, 3) You realize I'd have to buy all new clothing, 4) Daddy likes his harem, 5) we HAVE a boy - he's just furry and meows.... (and the only serious one other than #1) 6) I'd purely HATE to have #4 hear all her life that we only had her because we wanted a boy but we got a girl anyway (and it was pretty much a given that I'd have another girl by then).

Funny, I personally found the boy pushing (because it wasn't super pushy for us) to be much less offensive than the asking me how many fathers/husbands were involved in our family..... THAT one really angered me. I took to glaring at people who asked it (and they were legion) and saying, "I BEG your pardon?" in a fairly hostile tone of voice.

They asked you what now? Excuse me, I need to fetch the ladder so I can get my eyebrows down from the ceiling...

Yeah, I need a shovel to scoop my jaw up from the floor. Who SAYS that??

You'd be surprised. I'm divorced and have three boys. The frequency in which I'm asked if they all have the same father is astonishing. I also get the question about trying for a girl. I usually say something to the effect of deity knowing what he was doing when he gave me all boys, because I'd have made a terrible mother of girls.

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Some people lift weights. I lift measures. It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)