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Monday, June 18, 2012

Link Up with These Passwords to Foil the LinkedIn Hackers

So you've had your LinkedIn password
stolen. Don't worry, it happens to everyone who can't think of a
password more in-depth than 12345. Thankfully, I'm here to help you
make a better password selection.

Why should a password not be the name
of your kitten? Because once people know your LinkedIn password, they
can change your profile. No longer are you a hotshot smart person at
some hotshot smart firm. Nope, you're merely a fluffer for Vivid
Entertainment, and merely an “adequate” one at that.

Don't get stuck in the fluffing corner,
protect your password by choosing one from the following list of
impenetrable passwords. They're so strong that nobody, not even
Angelina Jolie in the hit docusmash “Hackers,” can crack your
account. Now you might say choosing a list from what's bound to be a
top 10 blog post in respect to LinkedIn passwords that involves
references to Angelina Jolie might result in bad things. Bad things
like people knowing your password.

This is a common fear to have, but
don't worry, it won't happen. You see, hackers know you might choose
a password from this list and from that, they know you won't choose
one from this list. But you will choose one, because they don't know
you know they know you know they know you know they know you know.
Plus, they're hackers, so they're incompetent (no we're not-sincerely, Bob,
the Hacker).

Top 6 Awesomely Impenetrable
Password for People Who Had Their LinkedIn Password Stolen and Want
Something as Equally Awesome as the Name of their Favorite Baha Men
Song.

123456

Curses, I can't hack into the account! I'll just have to becontent with my millions of dollars, neat kids andBrad Pitts.

If you're one of those 12345 password
people, have you ever considered going up to 123456? It's roughly 20
percent more secure than anything you could come up with on your own,
yet you won't be too out of it to remember when you want to drunkenly
log onto LinkedIn and angrily ask for a recommendation.

Another great password is “Solitary
Single Space.” This can mean either that phrase or, well just a
solitary single space. Either way you're going to have an ironclad
password. If you go with the former, who would guess that as a
password? And if you go with the latter, nobody would guess a
solitary single space as a password. Typing etiquette demands someone
have two spaces after a period and what's a password but the start of
a new sentence. If anything, those nefarious LinkedIn hackers would
guess “Double Single Space,” and would face an error page of
doom.

Sprocket32

Use my cat's name as a password. His
name is Sprocket, and he's adorable. But what's even more adorable is
if there were 32 of him. Sure, the world might spin out of its orbit
under the weight of all that fur, but at least we'd go out in an
adorable fashion.

Not a Random String of Characters

I'm not going to recommend a string of
random characters, because when you forget that password (which you
will), coming up with a new string of random characters is quite an
undertaking.

Facebook

One of the most common passwords to pop
up from the LinkedIn hacking endeavor was “LinkedIn.” This is an
entirely foolish password because the hacker can just look at his
screen, realize he's on LinkedIn and make the connection to YOUR
password. However, if you choose “Facbook” as your password,
there's no way any hacker could make that connection.