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20110926

Note from the author: "While the [below] image...is neither a carrot, nor any recognized breed of butterfly[, i]t is of the Bertoli Roosterus Butterfly and was taken in my back yard on a 105 degree day in July of 2010. I believe the creature to be either rabid or drunk."

20110914

How are you Jesus Christ?
The friday saga... was classic!
you're gonna be sitting in the drive-thru at carl's jr
your drive-thru herpes next to my inner thigh,
with really dirty limericks,
a multicolored tribal tattoo,
your lady sized wee wee,
Tiger off with a bunch of fags
jump in their pickups, and drive sixty miles in the rain to pick up a
stranded biker (Budget Schwarzenegger)
The young gropee should be grateful for the attention
... I didn't savor the idea
but
It gives me a good feeling
.... tonights one of those nights

20110902

recently had an earnest conversation with bruh man from the 5th floorherein lies everything you need to know about m.m. (according to him)

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. was born with superpowers but renounced them at age 8 because they didn't click with his personal brand

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. bitchslapped samuel l. jackson because he felt like it at the time

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. is genuinely a nice person if you solemnly swear not to fuck with him

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. can throw down on some mac and cheese!

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. could give two shits about the debt ceiling

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. was there the day tupac was shot and can reveal no further information

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. will iron your clothes in a way that's close to godliness

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. taught christina aguilera everything she knows

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. thinks the world should be thinking about a solution to the rebuilding of haiti instead of pumping money into its corrupt government. the world's leaders are really slacking m.m. believes.

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. will win the pulitzer prize but give it away because it's gonna be sooo fucking uncool by then

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. is the reason oj is finally locked up for good

according to bruh man from the 5th floor m.m. is the most reliable m.m. you will ever meet so respect the man.