Monday, February 22, 2010

Another Celeb Selling at Colossal Loss

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Just like so many regular folks around this U-nited States of America, celebrities are facing leviathan losses on the sale of property and it seems that almost everyday brings more news of another high-profile person stuck between a rock and a real estate hard place. In February alone Your Mama has discussed real estate losses endured or expected by Beck in Malibu, Lil Wayne in Miami, Kate Walsh and Ashley Olsen in Los Angeles, Ashlee Simpson in Beverly Hills, Eddie Cibrian in Calabasas, and the current grandmuhmah of celebrity real estate calamities, Scarlett Johanson who recently listed her house in the Outpost Estates area of Los Angeles for a staggering $2,050,000 less than she paid for it in May of 2007.

The next cynosure of celebrity up to Your Mama's increasingly crowded plate of real estate catastrophe is Sharon Stone, the former Mack-Donalds counter gurl turned Oscar nominated actress, three times dee-vorced single mommy, tireless AIDS activist, fearless fashion maverick, and all around koo-koo bird. The middle aged vamp and dee-voon vortex of cuh-razee has a Beverly Hills, CA white elephant on the market for a seizure inducing $2,000,000 less than she paid for it nearly 4 years ago.

Let's get in our celebrity real estate time machines and go back to the beginning because this is quite a saga and Your Mama wants all the children to have a full understanding of Miz Stone's epic struggle. In March of 2006, the boobbaring she-devil paid $10,995,000 for a N. Beverly Drive estate, purchasing the property from the very same gentleman who, y'all might be interested to know, subsequently bought the former Ridgedale Drive domicile of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Almost immediately, our favorite and ever so fickle femme fatale–who never even occupied the North Beverly Drive digs–had a real estate change of heart and just 4 months after signing on the dotted line flipped the posh property back on the market with a much inflated and characteristically cocky asking price of $12,500,000.

The 4.85 acre estate was de-listed and re-listed several times over the next year or so until November of 2007 when it vanished from the open market. In May of 2008 the property popped back up on the market with a new asking price of $10,000,000, a figure that represented a painful, million dollar plus loss for Miz Stone. At that point, our favorite mercurial minx decided that if no one wanted to buy the damn house then maybe someone would pay her a colossal clump of cash to lease the property. So that's just what She-rah Sharon did. According to multiple reports from the time, Miz Stone and her team of real estate people leased the property in the fall of 2008 at a rate of $35,000 per month to a bidness person whose name Your Mama knows but is of no consequence.

Sadly, butter beans, Miz Stone hasn't worked her sexpot stuff in a film of any note or success since 2006 when she appeared in Bobby and that embarrassing bomb Basic Instinct 2. Democrazy in 2007, $5 a Day in 2008 and Streets of Blood in 2009 just don't compare, count or keep a high-maintenance bee-hawtcha like Miz Stone rolling in clover. We're not saying the ladee is broke because she is most assuredly not. However, by late 2009 Your Mama imagines Miz Stone–not to mention her accountant–was 49 kinds of miffed, peeved and annoyed that this North Beverly Drive estate was still dragging down and draining her bank account. Once the tenant vacated the premises in the fall of 2009, the North Beverly Drive property was again hoisted onto the open market with a reduced asking price of $8,995,000. It doesn't take much bead flicking on our bejeweled abacus to figure out that's a mind numbing and ball busting two million dollars less than Miz Stone paid for the place nearly 4 years ago.

The privately situated estate sits at the tail end of North Beverly Drive, at the base of a steep hillside that rises dramatically like Miz Stone's personality up to the guard gated enclave of Beverly Park. The unoccupied property is, in fact, so close to Beverly Park that should our gal Sharon be so inclined she could strap on a pair of rubber-soled stilettos and scamper right up the hillside and into the backyards of Sylvester Stallone, Sumner Redstone and/or Paul Reiser. Spend a few minutes visualizing that tender morsel of dee-lishusness, children. Imagine settin' out back by the pool, the breeze rustles the leaves in the trees while your skin browns like butter in a hot saute pan and the birds chirp with summertime glee. Then, all of the sudden, up out of the scrub comes Sharon damn Stone in nuthin' but a fishnet bathing suit and those rubber sold stilettos. Her lips are painted red like fire, her eyes a-glitter with audacity and you know in your soul she wants a pound of flesh because, well, Sharon always wants a pound of flesh. After picking a few nettles from her cattywompus weave and pretending to regain some composure and dignity she says, "Syl, hunny, it's me, Share-bear... What? Oh, stop it right now Sylvester. Don't you worry that cock-eyed little mouth of yours about the bushes I busted up climbing over your damn fence. I'll send Hector and Waynie over to fix that shit tomorrow. Now listen dolly, stud, man of many muscles, Momma Sharon needs a cup of sugar, a new Bentley and, damnations and tarnations, we gotta pay the got-damn property taxes on that albatross down there. We need a job. So, yummykins, do you think you could find it in your I-talian heart to throw this well preserved ol' bag a bone and slip me into a lead role in Rambo 17? Or maybe something in Rocky 12? Whaddaya say beefcakes? Can you show Share-Share some love?"

Anyhoo, listing information shows the new-fangled mock-Mediterranean main house measures 6,640 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 6 poopers. In addition to a state of the art media room and work out room, an additional detached guest house contains another 2 bedrooms and 2 poopers bringing the estate's total to 7 bedrooms and 8 poopers.

The interior rooms, all done up and did over with Venetian plaster, include a living room with inlaid and honed limestone floors, a fireplace and a row of glass sliders that disappear into the wall. The adjacent dining room, separated from the living room by a built in freestanding entertainment center, has a trio of gently arched windows that look out to the gardens and the gore-may kitchen has a not entirely harmonious combination of granite and butcher block counter tops, parquet flooring, and a walk-in pantry. Interestingly and much to Your Mama's chagrin, there is a mish-mash of appliances in the cookery. The range, which is, strangely, half the size of the vent hood, is stainless steel but the wall ovens are black. The main sink, a giant triple basin number, is white porcelain while the vegetable sink in the work island is stainless steel. This is okay in budget kitchen re-do where the owner has to buy whatever is on sale at the Home Despot, but it is inexcusable in a nine million dollar mansion.

Other rooms include a hardwood paneled den with ecru wall to wall carpeting, built in cabinetry, large six-pane windows, and a fireplace with green marble surround and hearth. We're not sure what that wood tray thing in the ceiling is but it's really quite terrifying. The master suite, which an older listing called "lavish" includes wall to wall carpeting, billowing beige curtains, built in cabinetry fitted with a flat screen tee-vee, French doors that open to a private terrace, and a fireplace–the third of four in the house–stuck into the corner like an afterthought.

The walled, gated, heavily secured and lushly landscaped grounds include a circular drive, a lagoon style swimming pool, meandering pathways that criss-cross the property and lead to secluded sitting areas, a meditation garden surrounded by fruit trees, and a north/south lighted tennis court and its adjacent viewing pavilion.

Your Mama, who does not know a cook book from a cookie jar, doesn't know if Miz Stone ever intended to occupy the property on North Beverly Drive or if, like so many other rich and famous folks in 2006, bought the beast thinking she could flip it for a huge profit. What we do know is that Miz Stone stayed put in the nearly 8,000 square foot Dawnridge Drive mansion she bought pre-Phil Bronstein in March of 1995 for $3,200,000 and there, we'd guess, is where she'll stay.

Note: The Valerie Fitzgerald Group nor Valerie Fitzgerald were sources for this post.

Mama, that house is a hot mess owned by the originator of that phrase! The only good thing I can say about it is: I like the pool/spa and the fountain-ed sitting area. I can see myself sipping bourbon & ginger ale happily while the four-footed posse stroll the grounds and paddle in the waters. Otherwise, it's one for the trash heap!

Mama, loved this post and was LOL at the supposed conversation between Sly and Sharon. I haven't seen "Basic Instinct" in awhile. Was Ms. Thing carpeted or uncarpeted in that scene...you know the one I'm speaking of...? My verification words are "middle-aged hot mess." Being a real estate guru, you know how important it is for the drapes to match the carpet. [blush]

LOVE the area and the privacy, but hate the fact the neutral beige is causing me to fall asleep with boredom as I type this.

I can't believe the kitchen looks dated and cheap. Ugh.

I'm disappointed again with the interior of a multi-million dollar home and it's lack of style and taste. It just goes to prove, again, that just because you have the money to buy luxury doesn't mean you BELONG in luxury.

You can gauge the tenor of her mind from the following quote that appears in her Wikipedia bio:

"Well you know it was very interesting because at first, you know, I'm not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. And so I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do about that because I don’t like that. And I had been this, you know, concerned about, oh how should we deal with the Olympics because they are not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a good friend of mine. And then this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and then I thought, is that Karma? When you're not nice then the bad things happen to you?

I checked this location on Google Earth. Man is this a steep box canyon!

I see that her house has a large custom mud debris basin built behind the tennis court. Not a great selling point. Means you could have a deadly mud flow or king size house on top of yours in a Hollywood minute. That is, after the September Santa Ana brush fires burn the 30 year old growth off your hillsides.

And after this year's heavy rain and mudslides in LA, I'm sure Hector and Waynie are fishing Sumner Redstone's patio furniture out of that handy debris basin.

This house is on a HUGE lot, on a very private dead-end street location. The property is not good for much of anything, except growing your private medical marijuana stash, shooting B rated porn movies by the lagoon pool and having "10" style wild canyon parties.

The house is dead-end in both property value and location.

And doesn't Hank Azaria own the empty white elephant across the street?

Seems nobody wants to live in this steep, brush fire, and mud slide prone canyon.

I bet she would rather swallow a financial loss than have to deal with another Komodo dragon bite. Mama, please work you magic on some period properties. Despite the hair thing, Mr. Cage at least provided some period architectural eye candy.

Cookie Annenberg Ford Newirth Del Nunzio has it right...though pear cut or square shaped these rocks don't lose their shape! Diamonds, NOT real estate, is a girl's best friend.

This house must be such a painful albatross for Sharon Stone. She's been trying so hard to dump this place for ages...she should have just tried to lease the house for as long term as possible and just use it as a source of rental income if at all possible. What a massive loss on a house.

A few years ago it seemed like Sharon Stone was on the verge of a comeback...but it never quite panned out and here she is, a woman who likely wishes she was a Hollywood Wife.

this house sold for 3.7mil in 2000 sounds like its heading back to that valuation. and can u imagine the gardening, water,insurance, and taxes it must cost on an annualized basis to maintain that dump, must be at least 200k a year!! wow, sounds like she is stuck for at another 800k

Look, the house is a nice house. the prior owner and his wife had great taste. She thought she was buying in a rising market. However, the Post Office is the post offce and there is only one BH Proper.