In which the majestic, graceful, honest and British Gareth Bale is unfortunate enough to run headlong through a hotspot of intensely strong gravity caused by solar flares reflecting off the twin moons of Tatooine at Anfield on Monday night.

Poor Gareth…

It may well have looked like a pathetic dive to those too ignorant to spot the atmospheric disturbance, but I can assure you that honest, British players like Gareth would never stoop so low as to associate with such a devious practice – not like Luis Suarez, of whom it should be expected. He is a horrible foreign oik after all.

Its nice to see the new generation like Bale and Johnson are following the path of Lampard, fat bastard Rooney and Gerrard.
And they too will benefit from the xenophobic press protecting them to keep the meme that only dirty foreigners dive.

Remember that campaign about stopping diving? One token foreign guy and that was it (funny that the italians couldnt find one of their own to punish so they went the token foreigner route).

Bale is ready for the Barca dolphin academy and he even got a beauty last year against Real.

I think it’s the weight of his chin dragging him down. Is this the same as IF Murray wins a Grand Slam he’ll be BRITISH ! but if he goes out 1st round he’s that miserable Scottish b*stard ! The FA must be diggin up all sorts of birth certs to see if they could swing a wee – “Bale d’you fancy jumpin the border me old son” ! Now that Arry’s free to take the reigns

i follow MLS, and believe it or not they make a bigger deal about it in north america than england. i guess they’re trying to nip it in the bud. i recall one instance where two separate players were both awarded set pieces (a FK leading to a skyball and a PK), their website MLSsoccer had an article up two days later talking about how blatant the dives were but mentioning that with the games fast pace the refs should’ve consulted their linesmen.