State of the Marital Union 2016

I cannot believe it’s been a year again already and what a year it’s been! Recovering from the tendon transfer surgery, traveling to Brazil to meet the rest of Mr. Lyndsy’s family, traveling to Amsterdam, and getting sidelined by injury, pain, and chronic illness.

The end of the year is really my big takeaway for the whole year. It was emotionally and physically draining for me. For months I had only enough energy to function during the day after waking up late and collapse early. I hit a really low point. I struggled and he struggled. Once I finally got into the hands of the right medical providers things turned around for both of us, and pretty quickly. I learned how much our energies are intertwined.

Despite all of the challenges, and there were many, WE were still great. We still made each other laugh. He held me when I cried. I gave him a listening ear when he needed to work through something. We still cared about each other and made sure we were doing everything we could for the other. I wasn’t always capable of a lot, but I did what I could. Mr. Lyndsy always made sure to show how much he appreciated what I was doing.

He still lets me be me. Mr. Lyndsy doesn’t love tattoos. When I met him I had four. He said he didn’t love body art, but that mine were small and they have meaning. I now have 17. More than four times as many! While he may not be thrilled, he supports my need to express myself this way. I have more holes in my ears now too. He doesn’t get it, but he knows and appreciates ME.

Mr. Lyndsy truly is the rock by which I set my course. Perhaps describing him as a rock isn’t correct. He’s more like a home base. No matter what I want to try, what I want to do, he’s there to support me. If something goes wrong, I know that I can always divert back home, get rested/repaired/energized, and head back out again to whatever adventure catches my eye. His response is always, “Okay, how can we make that happen?” no matter how crazy the idea.

One of the highlights of the year is our two wonderful adopted dogters! Mica and Kizzy may be a little crazy and trying at times, but we love them. I truly believe you can judge a person by the way they treat animals. Watching him interact with our furkids reminds me what a caring soul he is. I told him recently that it was his photos that got me to respond to him on eHarmony (since he didn’t say much in his profile), but that it was who he is that captured my heart and soul.

I read recently that the secret to a happy relationship is falling in love over and over…with the same person. I don’t think I ever truly understand that feeling until Mr. Lyndsy. So many times during the last year I fell in love with him all over again. His compassion, caring, smile, and deep love and affection for me and how he exhibits it on a day-to-day basis make my heart melt.

Many thought we were crazy for getting married after knowing each other only 9 months and spending maybe 25 days together in person. But two years in and I know, without question, that I made the right choice. Not a day goes by that I am not deeply grateful for what he’s made possible in my life.

People have said that our relationship is the exception to the exception to the rule. That idea makes my heart hurt. Everyone who wants it can have what we have. I know I haven’t been married long. Some of you reading this who have been married a long time may be reading this and thinking “Ha, just wait and see.” And you may be right. This may blow up spectacularly in our faces.

However, I don’t choose to see it that way. When we decided that we wanted to live our lives together (and that was not two years ago today – it was about three days after we met in person, on December 29, 2013), we committed to taking care of ourselves and part of that is taking care of each other. For us it’s not about putting ourselves first or doing something at the expense of the other.

We fully recognize, understand, and appreciate that our individual health and happiness are inextricable from the other’s. Knowing that, we are extremely disinclined to do anything that would hurt the other and instead, even more inclined to go out of our way to help. There’s really no “me and him,” it’s just us.

To many more years of love, compassion, understanding, and fun! I love you to infinity and beyond, Mr. Lyndsy.