Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Do you see it?

Woman fakes injury to claim compensation by getting boyfriend to jump on her leg and break it. Fark: caught when police find the footage on his phone

A man who broke his girlfriend's leg at her own request, and had it filmed on a mobile phone, in a bid to sue Plymouth City Council has been jailed for three years.

Gordon Thomson, 32, jumped two footed onto Elizabeth Hingston's leg, which was propped up on house bricks as she lay on the floor, a court heard. A friend filmed the whole sickening incident on a mobile phone - a 20-second film which was watched in court.

David Gittins, prosecuting, said that the pair had claimed that the injury had been caused by her garden wall falling on Miss Hingston, 27, at his council home. » Full article here

[semi-sorta funny] A-Rod's Baby

WTF?

'Priest stalker' of Conan O'Brien apologizes

A Boston priest apologized in court for stalking U.S. television host Conan O'Brien and his family and accepted an order to stay away from the comedian's home and office for two years.

The Rev. David Ajemian, 48, was arrested in November 2007 during a taping of NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" at New York City's Rockefeller Plaza. Wearing khakis and a wrinkled overcoat, Ajemian said until his arrest he sent letters, postcards and packages to O'Brien's New York home and to the NBC studio. » Article here

Dear Mr. Paul... (click image to enlarge)

Photoworthy: 'Power to the People Baby'

Dude with heat rash says he wears a skirt on doctor's orders

Under his community's indecent exposure ordinance, Jay Herrod breaks the law when his skirt flies up when he's on his lawn tractor. But he carries a doctor's note that states that "wearing skirt on mower allows sweat to evaporate." » Read the full article here

John, if your fraternity brother see this... you're screwed.

Overheard on the streets of New York:

Pissed girlfriend: You never want to do anything fun.Exasperated boyfriend: That's because everything you call 'fun' involves heroin or fire.--Union Square

Girl, while leaving screening of "I am legend": Okay... I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.--Fresh Meadows, Queens

Little boy holding pack of Orbitz gum: Mommy, is this kosher?Mother: Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you that we aren't Jewish?--Duane Reade, 50th & Broadway

Angry wife to husband: You are so patronistic. I seriously can't stand how fucking patronistic you are.--56th & 5th

Queer Sales Associate, at promotion for Vera Wang Princess perfume: Are you a princess?Girl: NoQueer Sales Associate: Then what are you?Girl: A sex goddess, bitch.--1st Floor, Macy's

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."