Posting RulesDon't Be an Ass:Wheaton's Law is in full effect. Some specifics:

Leave your ego at the door: Do realize that nobody on this forum owes you anything. You can earn some other members' trust or respect over time, through your posting behavior, but strangers do not have a right to the benefit of the doubt here. Any such benefit you see shown has been earned.

No victim-blaming: Victims of crimes, abuse, marginalization and/or misfortune, such as sexual assault, bullying, child abuse, poverty, illness etc, are not at fault for the actions of others. Saying, suggesting, or implying that a victim of such is to blame for their victimization is grounds for a ban. (Note that nonspecific and/or unsolicited advice often falls into this category. See discussion thread.)No ableism: When a member asks for or a moderator edits in a disability accommodation (e.g. trigger warning, splitting long paragraphs, hiding an image or some part of the text) do not argue, take offense or ask intrusive questions. See e.g. this post for links about ableism.

No tone policing or emotional invalidation: Outside of the Information and Answers subforum we don't moderate for tone. Don't dismiss other people's arguments as not conforming to your standards of civility. Don't accuse people of being over-sensitive, or assume that an emotional reaction is the same thing as an irrational reaction. People have a right to be angry and upset if you say insensitive or harmful things. However...

No gratuitous nastiness: Don't be nasty as an end in itself. Making your feelings known is fine, but if something serves no purpose other than to hurt, humiliate or ridicule another person, then don't say it. Unacceptable conduct includes (but is not limited to) wishing harm, suggesting self-harm, wishing personal failure or unhappiness, assigning mocking nicknames, armchair psychiatry, hate speech (see below) and playing up to weaknesses or insecurities.

Don't pursue grudges: Arguing with someone is fine, but making unpleasant comments whenever you encounter them is not. This includes (but is not limited to) snide remarks, and dredging up past disputes which are irrelevant to the conversation.

No revisionist post editing: Deceptively using the edit feature to alter your position in the middle of a discussion or to give the impression that objectionable comments were never made is forbidden. If you wish to disavow a comment, you may revise it with strikethrough, hiddentext, or a similar approach, but do not simply delete the original text.

Hate Speech: Do not use slurs or other forms of Hate Speech. Insults targeting a person's Race, Nationality, Age, Sex, Gender Identity, Mental Health, Physical ability, etc. are prohibited and will subject you to an immediate ban. If you are targeting a group of people with the word you are using, you are in the wrong. General fucking profanity is fine, "You're retarded" is not.

Privilege-splaining: It may seem that we are biased in favor of oppressed groups. The reality is we're revoking the bias in favor of privileged groups that has become so normalized as to be invisible. (link, link and link)The phrase "check your privilege" (or similar) is not an invitation to explain at even greater length than you've already done that you don't have privilege and are simply right. This behavior will be met with mockery and moderator action up to and including banning.

Don't spread animosity: Keep arguments in the threads they started in, and don't import arguments from other forums.

No forum warring: If you post on this forum and an external forum, crossover must be open and honest on both sides. Don't post on one forum while covertly reporting your progress on another. Don't use one forum to evade the rules of another.

If you have nothing constructive to say: If your sole purpose in registering is to complain about this forum, and how it is run, don't bother.

Use trigger warnings: Certain types of content can trigger symptoms of mental illnesses, migraines, or seizures in some people. Use the HiddenText tag to hide such content. Deliberate attempts to trigger users will result in an immediate and permanent ban. Potentially triggering content includes but is not limited to: discussion or description of real life or fictional traumatic events such as violence, abuse, harassment, natural disasters and tragedies; discussion of drugs or alcohol (even in a positive light); discussion of weight, body form, diet or exercise (including medical diets); and flashy or quickly flickering animations, images, or video. This kind of content DOES NOT belong in signatures or avatars. If in doubt, use a trigger warning.

Malicious Links: If you post a malicious link (any URL with spyware or code designed to annoy people) you will be banned.

Don't derail: Keep your discussion on topic. If you are talking with someone about Abortions, and you want to bring up Divorce, Make a new topic.

Respect the Mods: The moderators are here to keep the forums safe and orderly. If they ask you to do something, do it. Do not harass or annoy the mods. If you have a complaint about a moderator action. Make a post in the appropriate thread in the "Forum Matters" section. An Admin will PM you and the issue will be discussed.

Multiple identities: Sockpuppets used to evade bans, give the illusion of support, or otherwise cause trouble, will be banned alongside the main account. If you need a second account for privacy reasons, contact a moderator. If you can't get into your account and require help, use the contact form.

Private Messages: Do not send a PM to anyone without their consent. When asking for permission to discuss a topic via PM, your message should be clear, concise, and free of the argument you wish to make. A one-sentence introduction of "May I PM you about X?" should suffice. Do not complain if consent is not granted, and a lack of affirmative response will always be considered a refusal. If the thread you were contributing to was locked before you had an opportunity to ask, it is permissible to start a new thread for this purpose, but attempts to continue arguments from locked threads in private are strongly frowned upon. (See discussion of this rule.)Note: Messages to and from moderators about forum business are excluded from this rule.