1,250 Bags of 'Obamacare' Heroin Seized by Police

Poor Obamacare. It's suffering a public relations nightmare right now. I think it'll come out okay eventually, but right now people can't see the benefits through the hassle and problems. Well, a group of drug dealers could change our perception of Obamacare. Four people were arrested with 1,250 bags of heroin stamped "Obamacare" and "Kurt Cobain." Naming a drug after a rock star with a history with opiates is logical (if super dark). But naming heroin after Obamacare? Hm ... maybe we should compare the two.

Advertisement

1. With heroin, you can keep your existing dealer. With Obamacare, you may not be able to keep your existing plan after all. Bummer.

2. If you want to buy heroin, you don't have to navigate a buggy website. Just figure out via word of mouth whom to call. With Obamacare, you -- oh, well, you've probably heard about the website.

3. With heroin, you pretty much know what you're getting. Ish. I mean, it depends on how well you trust your drug dealer. With Obamacare, you really do have to read the fine print of every health plan, though supposedly the ones on the exchange have all been vetted.

4. Heroin feels amazing. That's why people keep doing it even though it'll ruin your life. Obamacare contains no opiates whatsoever. What fun is that?

5. The price of heroin varies, but it's quite clear that when YOU take heroin, it's society that ultimately pays the price. With Obamacare, the whole point is that everyone takes as much personal responsibility for their health care as they can. But to make it work, they really need more young, healthy people to sign up and take care of their health. Ugh, responsibility! If you hate responsibility, heroin is way better.

6. You'll get into WAY more trouble if you get caught with heroin than you will if you fail to sign up for Obamacare. That makes heroin a whole lot more bad-ass.

Okay, obviously we're joking here and there is no comparison. Heroin is a dangerous drug that will wreck your life. Obamacare is a pain in the ass but ultimately could work in most people's favor eventually.