Well, mum jokingly dropped it into conversation a few days later. I was in my twenties by then and just felt I was mature enough to be kept in the loop, lol. It all felt a bit old school and I didn't like it at all!

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I have no idea what happens behind the scenes. Its like I'm an actor and my mother is my agent

She works all the deals for me haha

(sorry for not being helpful)

No worries. :up:

I guess, if you are interested in someone that may be suggested to you by your parents, you would have to take the initiative to show or tell your parents that you would like to talk to them for marriage.

Sometimes, I get the impression though that the two families (your's and the prospective's) already come to some sort of 'agreement' and then tell their children about a prospective. Are parents usually more direct about these kinds of things? It would be awkward if the child had to ask their parents 'was that family making an indirect proposal for me' or to be under that impression when really the families were just trying to 'brag' about their children.

Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others.Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility."So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

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My parents always speak to me about a potential both sitting in the front room together, it's always after all the young ones have fallen asleep and with "Beta idhar aao" (child, come here) "kuch baat karni hai" (we need to talk) then I know it's game over from there onwards

In our culture/community, the girls family would die before making a proposal to the guy, they'd rather have a daughter collecting dust then approach a family, it's always the guys side that comes first because "besthiiiii" (shame) otherwise.

If my friends have suggested someone to me, I go to them straight away, when they hear non-Pakistani it's a big fat no - but worth a try xD

My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
As You have sanctified Your house,
Make my heart as protected and as honoured
In which permission of entry
Is only granted to a few,
Please Allah, allow my heart
To be preserved only for You.

---

It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
In Jannah, we will meet :love:

If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

Comment

Well, mumjokingly dropped it into conversation a few days later. I was in my twenties by then and just felt I was mature enough to be kept in the loop, lol. It all felt a bit old school and I didn't like it at all!

lol

But, are parents scared of telling their kids about this stuff? Why did she eventually tell you that?

My parents always speak to me about a potential both sitting in the front room together, it's always after all the young ones have fallen asleep and with "Beta idhar aao" (child, come here) "kuch baat karni hai" (we need to talk) then I know it's game over from there onwards

Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others.Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility."So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

Comment

Sometimes, I get the impression though that the two families (your's and the prospective's) already come to some sort of 'agreement' and then tell their children about a prospective. Are parents usually more direct about these kinds of things? It would be awkward if the child had to ask their parents 'was that family making an indirect proposal for me' or to be under that impression when really the families were just trying to 'brag' about their children.

Especially in the Indo-Pak culture you can't tell lol

My mum casually mentioned about a girl I used to know about 8 or 9 months ago. I was thinking for days "does she really mean this or is this some sort of proposal!" :rotfl:

My mum casually mentioned about a girl I used to know about 8 or 9 months ago. I was thinking for days "does she really mean this or is this some sort of proposal!" :rotfl:

So, then how did your parents assume your response? Was it really a proposal? If it was, would they have asked you again what you thought about that person?

Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others.Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility."So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

Comment

But, are parents scared of telling their kids about this stuff? Why did she eventually tell you that?

I think she was trying to do the whole 'hide behind a tree to see my shy daughter' thing lol. The trouble is I'm not that shy and like to feel in control of things that affect me- for instance the person I'm marrying. Even the other day, she was calling me innocent and we had a disagreement about it, because I kept insisting that I wasn't. I have lived alone at uni for the past five years! I do know how to manage myself

Oh okay.. so he doesn't have a beard.. he doesn't really pray and I heard he's had a few girlfriends erm.. why is he a good match for me again?

Oh come on beta, do you wanna marry a molvi?!

*quietly* yes

My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
As You have sanctified Your house,
Make my heart as protected and as honoured
In which permission of entry
Is only granted to a few,
Please Allah, allow my heart
To be preserved only for You.

---

It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
In Jannah, we will meet :love:

If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

Comment

I dont know about my proposals, I find out through aunts :p and am like WOOT since when :/

parents dont tell me about them coz i am not ready yet, maybe after a year when college finishes.

Mum knows who i will reject and whatnot, hence she has rejected them without even telling me coz she knows how i am :p

well there was this proposal at work.. mum told me to tell them i dont know what marriage is, so yeh she still thinks im young

the brother was practising aswell. maybe in the future will see.

The Messenger of Allah Ô∑ļ said: ‚ÄúIt will be said to the companion of the Qur‚Äôan: ‚ÄėRead, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.‚Äô‚ÄĚ [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

Comment

I guess, if you are interested in someone that may be suggested to you by your parents, you would have to take the initiative to show or tell your parents that you would like to talk to them for marriage.

Sometimes, I get the impression though that the two families (your's and the prospective's) already come to some sort of 'agreement' and then tell their children about a prospective. Are parents usually more direct about these kinds of things? It would be awkward if the child had to ask their parents 'was that family making an indirect proposal for me' or to be under that impression when really the families were just trying to 'brag' about their children.

I do think there is that 'agreement' behind the scenes but still mine wouldnt go any further without my approval so to speak

Like I was shown a picture of a girl once and was told a few things about her by my sister but she (potential) didnt seem Islamic enough so I just said nah and that was the end of that