Badass of the Month - January 2008: Monica Brown and Leigh Anne Hester

First off is Army Spc. Monica Lin Brown who earned herself a little trinket over in Afghanistan. You might have heard of it, maybe... it's called the SILVER STAR.

Instead of being a "hero" for a desert version of Girls Gone <strike>Wild</strike> Missing shot with a night vision filter, Monica survived a bomb explosion, dragged everyone out of a burning vehicle, stormed through machinegun fire, and used her own body as cover to provide aid to other wounded soldiers.

And I fucking guarantee your girlfriend wouldn't do that for you. Go on, admit it.

So wait, if she's such a badass then how much badder of an ass sits atop the legs of the other female soldier to win this medal?

How about one that carries the rest of her straight into the enemy ambush with a grenade launcher to kill a bunch of dirty, freedom-and-bacon-hating bad guys?

Yeah, Military Policewoman and NCO (hooah) Sgt. Leigh Ann Hester hopped out of her vehicle with "**** YOUR AMBUSH" on her lips while rallying with her squad leader to cut that dumb **** out and personally give three insurgents a hot lead vaccination that cured them of a pesky case of life they had at the time.

Did I mention she carried a freakin grenade launcher? That's badass in itself, but only because the author of this article carried one too. The author, however, didn't get to use it to kill anyone, let alone someone who has the temerity to dislike BLTs. So yeah, she's already at BadCon 3, just for that.

And get this, the sheer mass of these fine ladies' badassery is so great that it's created a rift in time that sends this article back to January, even though it was written in March.

In the unit she's in, the 617th MP unit out of Richmond, KY (my home city), there is a lot of double talk about what actually took place. I wasn't there, so I can't say what actually took place.

Reportedly, however, one of the females that got a bronze star for that battle for "taking care of the wounded" was in the humvee crying. That is just a rumor, and can't be substatiated. It does go to show you, however, that the news probably didn't get it right either.

My friend that was in that unit is a combat medic, and did a lot more than just taking care of the wounded (including cappin' some mother fuckers)...but he didn't get a bronze star. Its politics. Women in the war was a piece of good news, and it is good to hear good things come out of the war. I'd hesitate to call it "propaganda", but its close.

"Reportedly, however, one of the females that got a bronze star for that battle for "taking care of the wounded" was in the humvee crying. That is just a rumor, and can't be substatiated. It does go to show you, however, that the news probably didn't get it right either."

I know this is pretty old, but I can't let you get away with this. First of all, when has a rumor ever "proved" anything? It's not like she came up and randomly claimed to do all this stuff without proof, there were tons of eye witnesses including the people she saved. You're effectively calling those servicemen liars. That makes you an asshole.

"My friend that was in that unit is a combat medic, and did a lot more than just taking care of the wounded (including cappin' some mother fuckers)...but he didn't get a bronze star. Its politics. Women in the war was a piece of good news, and it is good to hear good things come out of the war. I'd hesitate to call it "propaganda", but its close. "

"Cappin' some mother fuckers"? Seriously? Are even old enough to post on these boards? Did your friend use those exact words? Why would I trust someone like that over all the people who were there?

"One of my best friends was on that same convoy"

This was in reference to Lee Ann Hester's convoy. Ask your friend to show you his medal. Everyone in that firefight got one, either a bronze star, silver star or a army commendation medal. If he was there, he got one. "Sorry dude, I lost it when I threw it shiruken style at a terrorist and took his head clean off!"

From the article:
"This account of the 25-minute firefight, near the town of Salman Pak, is based on interviews with seven squad members and their commanders and a brief video that ends abruptly with the insurgent cameraman's death."

The insurgent cameraman must have been a radical feminist.

If you actually read the interviews and reports of the encounter, you'll notice that there's nothing outrageous or unbelievable about what they did. But it was very heroic.