I'm Sioux Roslawski and this is my blog about writing, dogs, grown-up children, menopause, the joy of a marvelous book, classroom teaching in general, and specifically, the teaching of writing. You can email me at sroslawski(at)yahoo(dot)com.

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Saturday, December 30, 2017

I'm telling the truth: I did intend to write this in advance, so I could post it in a timely manner. But last night (Friday) was my book club meeting, and I was the host. That meant I spent the last couple of days cleaning and cooking. One of the things I prepared was a healthy key lime pie. Here is the link. I would recommend the extra bit of honey, and I even made it crustless. (I mixed up the pie filling and spooned it into small glasses.) It was delicious and healthy.The book? Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson. We're going to meet in January or February and talk about it.On January 2 I'm heading to my state capitol to get my original birth certificate. In case you didn't know, when a child is adopted, they get a modified/altered birth certificate. On mine, my parents' name is on it, but not my birth mother's. A law was recently passed in Missouri that allows adoptees to receive their original birth certificate. Part of me hopes my birth father's name is on it, but I doubt it. I'm going with my half-sister, so it will be a fun day.So what is this back-of-the-book blurb stuff? Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a coffee table book of fashion trends? Is it a photo collection of mentally-ill patients and their clothing choices? You decide. Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel (she has three more), Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. She's quite busy these days. She even has a brand new book out called The Write Man. If you'd like to read my review of The Write Man, you read it here.

Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

Here's the book cover, along with my blurb:

Better Than a Yellow Submarine

Orvilene hated her job. Driving those hooligans back and forth to school every day was like driving a huge yellow couch… and on the couch was 50 or 60 circus performers.

Those kids rolled around on the floor. They hung from the emergency door handles in the ceiling. They jumped from seat to seat.

“Sit down.”

“Shut up.”

“Stop throwing things from the windows.”

None of her screaming made a difference. They continued their shenanigans, and every night when Orvilene got home, she’d have a drink. (She wanted to drink on the job, but wisely chose not to.)

But then Orvilene had an idea. She hatched a plan that would cook their goose. She’d use her nestegg to create a new bus… a bus that would challenge even the trapeze artists she transported.

Will the goofballs enjoy the new arena or will they get shocked into behaving the right way? (150 words)

And for those writers Val, who likes to work ahead, here is the photo for next week:

Friday, December 22, 2017

A couple of days ago I got together with my son and daughter-in-law for dinner. (It was my last day of work; I was beginning my holiday break.) It was delightful because it was relaxed, someone else cooked (we met at a restaurant down the street from my school), and we got to laugh and chat without any time constraints.

I think this should be the start of a family tradition--a dinner right before the holiday gets underway (right before things get crazy). And since I won't be able to make the family get-together on Saturday (I'll be doing dog rescue stuff), perhaps we need to plan an after-holiday meal after things have calmed down?

I'm going to have to think on it. Until then, here is my story from last week:

Nobody Knows Where Gladys' Nose Goes

Gladys raised three boys and her boys were not unfamiliar with soap and water. All three of them were clean and always smelled clean, to boot.

But they didn’t start out clean. At first they were smelly and sweaty creatures… until Gladys had smell-inspections every day. Once their mother started sniffing their armpits every morning and every night, her sons learned the value of soap and deodorant.

Once her boys left her nest empty, Gladys felt life was no longer worth living… until she snagged a job as a deodorant tester. Does the man-scent mask the man-sweat? Once the hunks worked out, did they then smell like hunks of poop when their deodorant surrendered? Gladys’ sniffer could tell her.

Now Gladys has a reason to jump out of bed every morning. And will her nose lead her heart to love? Will she fall in love with one of her sniffees?

So you wonder what this back-of-the-book blurb stuff is? Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a coffee table book of fashion trends? Is it a photo collection of mentally-ill patients and their clothing choices? You decide. Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. She's quite busy these days. She even has a brand new book out called The Write Man. If you'd like to read my review of The Write Man, you read it here.

Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Pardon my not posting. I've had the flu/a horrendous cold. Chills. Horrible, nonstop coughing. Exhaustion. I felt bad enough that I went to Urgent Care last night, after dealing with this for 2 1/2 weeks, and I'm thrilled to be on some steroids and some cough suppressant pills. Leave it to to me to wait until I was starting to feel a bit better before seeking medical attention.

Have I missed a day of work? Nope.

Have I missed working two solid days volunteering at Half Price Books for my dog rescue group? Again, no.

What has slid aside, neglected, is my blog.

I promise I will post on Friday with two back-of-the-book blurbs (because I love the one from last week) along with this week's.

And Val, I'm sorry. You've probably given up on me. Unfortunately, I am still alive, and unfortunately, you only have a few days to prepare a blog and hilarious reviews.

Here is the book cover for this week's blurb. I know it might lack imagination, but amidst the coughing and the snorting, it's the best I could do.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Hi. I'm Sioux, and I'm not a reader of romance novels. I've always taken more than 12 steps away whenever I'm in the vicinity of the romance section. The covers with the heaving bosoms. The men with the flowing locks. The writing (I'm sure) is predictable and stale. It's wrong, but I admit that for me, Harlequin and romance novels can be used interchangeably. In all my life, I've been sucked in by read only three romance novels--all three by Lisa Ricard Claro. Love Built to Last. Love to Believe. Love to Win. I enjoyed all three, but surely they were the exception, right? The plot kept me going as I was taken on a twisty-turny ride, but other than those three, I was finished with romance books. Or so I thought. Then Lisa came up with a new book. A novella. And it had one of those romance-y covers, albeit a modern one. Initially I passed, as I was in the middle of a YA novel. But something in me didn't want to miss out, so I asked for an advanced reader's copy and devoured the book. Overnight.

It's not your mama's romance novel because it's well crafted. The phrasing. The pace. It begins like honey on a semi-warm day. The opening scene just oozes along, drawing the reader into the beach setting. Things speed up and then slow down--just when you want them to continue full-speed ahead--to keep the reader on the edge of their seats. To keep me hooked as a reader, it has all the components: a delicious, tongue-in-cheek villain/pirate in Scurvy Rickets. A damsel-not-in-distress in Merry Sunjoy. A stray dog. Wonderful wordsmithing. However, I was also hooked as a writer. In this book. Lisa has fun (or at least seems to have fun) creating "Foundling Faeries" who serve as Jiminey Cricket/internal dialogue for Merry. These tiny creatures echo Merry's feelings. Sometimes they're the devil's advocate. Sometimes they're her conscience. Sometimes they provide comic relief. What a brilliant idea. How delightful it is to see a writer creating a writer creating characters--the faieries--in such a deft way.

Lisa Ricard Claro

The word choices the author made also wowed me as a writer. The phrase "bruised sky" was one I noted, but I soon stopped jotting them down as I got engrossed in the storyline. If you want to read a romance that's the opposite of a Harlequin romance novel, check out Lisa Ricard Claro's The Write Man. It's a quick read and a quick study in what can be done when it comes to romance-y books. Hi. I'm Sioux and I'm not a reader of romance novels... unless they're authored by Lisa Ricard Claro...

Friday, December 8, 2017

Are you reading a great book right now? A book that you look forward to cracking open, every time you get home? A book that you'd prefer to curl up with, instead of an evening meeting? I am. I'm reading Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell. It's a YA novel about an overweight weird girl (Eleanor) and a boy (Park) who become friends... and then boyfriend and girlfriend. The characters are so interesting. Eleanor lives with her siblings, mother and Richie (her mother's boyfriend) in a tiny house. The only bathroom has no door. It used to have a sheet covering the doorway, but Richie ripped it down. Taking a bath has to be taken with Richie's schedule in mind: How long will he be at the bar before coming home? The back door is right next to the bathroom "door," so if Richie comes busting in, there'll be no time to scurry into her room. There's not enough food and when there is plenty of food (like a holiday), Richie ruins it. Eleanor wears strange-looking outfits, since she needs to safety-pin things to cover up the tears and holes and undone seams. Park lives in a "normal" house with a "normal" family. Can Eleanor open up enough to let Park in? I have about a hundred more pages, and I have a feeling I'm going to regret when I finish the last line on the last page... because I'll begin to miss Park and Eleanor right away... (The book does have lots of colorful language, but none of it is gratuitous.)And now onto book blurb stuff. Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a coffee table book of fashion trends? Is it a photo collection of mentally-ill patients and their clothing choices? You decide. Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. She's quite busy these days. She even has a new book coming out today.

Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

Here's the book cover, along with my blurb:

A Watery Embrace

Maura had finally succumbed.

The water was so alluring. The coolness of it. The blueish hue it took on. The accepting way it had. No matter what or who it was, the lake welcomed all who swam. Or floated. Or came in to drown…

Maura was tired of dog-paddling through life. It was exhausting working to just keep her head above water. Often, she’d feel herself dipping below the surface, and then have to struggle to come back up. Choking on what was thrown her way. Feeling like she was overwhelmed with problems that weighed her down.

So when life got to be too much, Maura went to the lake. The water beckoned her. The coolness made everything better. The blue hugged her and promised to never let go.

Maura stepped in, lifted up her feet and let herself float to the bottom… (143 words)

And for those who want to work ahead, here is the photo for next week's blurb:

Monday, December 4, 2017

Maybe James Brown had it all wrong. Maybe it's not a man's world. Maybe, instead, it's a dog's world... Our dog Radar leads quite a cushy life. Since he rarely sits still long enough to get his picture taken, I've chosen a few Google images to show you what kind of activities he fills his day with.

As soon as we leave, Radar hops up on the bed, stretches out, and takes a nap. Or several naps.

When there's snow on the ground, Radar loves to romp and burrow in the snow. He comes in with snow all over him, including his nose.

When there is a dog show on, my husband and Radar enjoy watching TV. Or a horse show. Or the show Swamp People. The two of them have fun watching any of those shows together...

Whenever there's a hose on or rain has fallen, there's puddles of water... which means mud. Some dogs hate to go outside in the rain. Not Radar. He loves getting wet and muddy... and he loves tracking that mud all over the house once his fun is done.

Along with taking many naps, Radar eats many treats throughout the day. So, while my husband I toil and sweat during the week to provide for this furball, Radar enjoys a life he's become accustomed to: a life of leisure. What do you do to spoil your cat or dog? Please share in the comments.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Since November is over, so is NaNoWriMo. With just a few exceptions, all of my students reached their word count goal. (They were 6,000 for the 8th graders, 5.500 for 7th, 5,000 for 6th grade, 3,000 for 5th and 2,000 for 4th. Those last two were too low, I found out.) Mine, you ask? I've racked up 23,030 words. Right now I'm just seeing the trees. There's no way I can see the forest. I even wonder if there is a forest... (In other words, I'm not sure if it's any good. Is there too much stuff about the other kids and the real story is getting muddied? Or, is the stuff with the other kids disjointed? Also, is the tone too preachy or lecture-y, like I'm bent on bringing this bit of history to light and discarding the craft, the story, along the way?I'm not sure. Time will tell. At the end there has to be an incident of bullying, and an organic idea has not come to me yet.)

And now onto book blurb business... Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a coffee table book of fashion trends? Is it a photo collection of mentally-ill patients and their clothing choices? You decide. Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. She's quite busy these days. Not only is she a prolific writer, she also runs an editing business. (I hope someday I will have need to hire her.)

Okay, back to book blurb stuff.

Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

Here's the book cover, along with my blurb:

A Dog’s Dream

Hansie used to get dressed up like a horse, and his little girl would put a Barbie on his back. Off he’d trot in circles, like a show pony.

That was when he was a young pup. He’d dream of having long legs and a flowing mane.

When he was a little older, Hansie would ride around in a stroller. He’d wear a bonnet and a blanket would surround him like a cocoon. Life was sweet for a well-loved dog.

But lately, his dreams had gotten bigger. No longer content to canter around or be bumped down the sidewalks, Hansie fantasized about being surrounded by children. He’d rise to the responsibility and get them all there safely.

Hansie dreamed of being a school bus. He wanted to be draped in yellow, to be filled with screaming, gum-chewing brats, to puff down the streets belching black smoke.

A bus he’d be… (150 words)

And for those who'd like to play along next week and also like to work ahead, here is the photo for the next blurb:

Monday, November 27, 2017

I'm extremely late this time. Black Friday. (I was at Half Price Books all day, from 9-9, for Love a Golden Rescue.) Thanksgiving. (We just celebrated on Sunday. I cooked. For 12. In my very tiny house.) My NaNoWriMo word count is 20,148. Hopefully I can rack up some words in the next four days. If you'd like to find out what I've been writing about on The Muffin, read my latestpost there. And now onto book blurb business... Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a coffee table book of fashion trends? Is it a photo collection of mentally-ill patients and their clothing choices? You decide. Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. She's quite busy these days. Not only is she a prolific writer, she also runs an editing business. (I hope someday I will have need to hire her.)

Okay, back to book blurb stuff.

Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

Here's the book cover, along with my blurb:

Zelda’s Zoo

Zelda bought a quirky zoo five years ago. An animal lover, she found new homes for all the creatures in animal sanctuaries. But what to do with her investment, once all the zoo residents were gone?

Zelda didn’t have to look too far. In her home, she found the answer--a way to fill the zoo and keep the funny signs at the same time.

Her mother-in-law has a huge hairy, scary wart that’s big enough to require its own zipcode.

Zelda’s eldest son is 32 and still lives at home. In Zelda’s basement. When he’s not playing his video game, he’s napping after a potato chip and beer binge.

And Zelda’s husband Maurice’s hand is often in his pants, engaged in a scratching frenzy and his flatulence? Well, zoo visitors are given gas masks when going to see that attraction.

Is the successful? Read to find out. (149 words)

And if you'd like to be ready for the next book blurb which will be later this week, on Friday (hopefully), here is the photo:

Monday, November 20, 2017

Yes, I know. I'm way behind. I had a super busy end of week, along with a crazy weekend. I'm saying one apology for each of my readers... which means I only have to say "I'm sorry" 1.6 times. Thursday evening was full of prepping for a substitute (I took off on Friday), along with putting the finishing touches on a workshop handout and getting stuff ready for a writing marathon. The NCTE convention (National Council of Teachers of English) was in St. Louis. I was leading a writing marathon through Ferguson, Missouri--of great interest to people from out of town.

We ended at Cathy's Kitchen, a Ferguson restaurant that is located right next to the Ferguson Police Department. Cathy Jenkins and her husband Jerome had stories to tell us over a delicious lunch.

At the convention I did a bit of oohing and aahing. Jacqueline Woodson spoke to a huge convention room. It was so crowded and in such demand, teachers were sitting on the floor along the sides, just to hear her. By then, my former teaching partner and I had already done our presentation, so we could relax...

Okay, so maybe this is a better photo of her...

I also got to go to a workshop by Tom Romano. He's a rock star when it comes to multi genre writing.

Today, it's back to work. However, as of 7:26 on Sunday evening, my NaNoWriMo word count was 16,179. Fortunately, I will have time to write tomorrow with my students. Since we have a short week (only two days), we're going to work on our NaNoWriMo during our literature classes as well as our composition classes...

And now onto to a much-belated book blurb post...

Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a coffee table book of fashion trends? Is it a photo collection of mentally-ill patients and their clothing choices? You decide. Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book.

Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. She's quite busy these days. Not only is she a prolific writer, she also runs an editing business. (I hope someday I will have need to hire her.)

Okay, back to book blurb stuff.

Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

Here's the book cover, along with my blurb:

Google Images

Henry the Thinker

“Are you ever going to come out?”

Bang! Bang! Bang! “How long are you going to be in there?”

With only one bathroom in the house, sometimes it was a race. If Eloise saw signs that Henry was getting up, with the intention of using the toilet, she’d fly out of her rocking chair and beat him to it… a slammed door signaling her victory.

Outwitting him was necessary. Henry thought the toilet was his throne. He read magazines while he crouched on the circular seat. He played video games on his tablet so long, his butt cheeks would go numb. Henry spent so much time in the bathroom, Eloise decided to honor him with a sculpture… which she had installed in their front yard, along with the sign:

This is my king on his throne.

Will Henry be pleased? Or will he be pissed? (145 words)

Reviews

George Costanza: I think this book goes overboard. I mean, he's naked. I only recommend taking off the dress shirt and undershirt when preening in the bathroom after a toileting event, so I cannot recommend this book.

The Roto-Rooter Man: This guy looks like he lives on pizza and corn dogs... probably doesn't even know what vegetables look like. I advocate he either starts eating some roughage, or he'll have need of my services. I also advocate that everybody avoids this book.

The Bathroom in Room # 1 at the Bates Motel: If you read this book, something horrible will happen to you... something as horrible as what happened in me. Eeek eeek eeek!

And for those who'd like to work ahead (since, goodness knows, I rarely do), here is the photo for later this week: