Finally! A Good Goat Simulator Video Game for the Rest of Us

I went to a college that was widely known as a party school. Why do I even put that in the past tense? It still is considered a party school, listed prominently near the top of the rankings created
by the Princeton Review and other places. It’s the kind of list that’s hard to get off of, once you’ve gotten there. And truth be told, I think it’s pretty accurate.

I
thought of that today when I read about yet another online craze—a goat simulator. Yes, you’ve read that correctly. A goat simulator game has hit it big on YouTube. It’s gone
viral, as they say, and with its notoriety inevitably will comes more jokes about the legitimacy of the stuff you can see online, like it’s just one endless stream of kittens and prancing
South Koreans.

And now, there are simulated goats online, just in time for the sign-off final story on local newscasts, in which some most-trusted-anchor type just shakes his head and says
good night and millions of Americans in the heartland say, “Anything for a buck!”

Will anyone ever take online video seriously? Should they?

Time.com wrote: “What began as a half-joke, half… well, maybe a full joke by Coffee Stain Studios, footage uploaded to YouTube of Goat Simulator’s alpha gameplay whipped the collective Internet into such a froth that Coffee Stain has decided to go through with the
game. It’s available now for pre-order on Stain for $10. Since we last checked in with Goat
Simulator, some new moves have been added: namely, the ability to use your tongue to grab stuff and swing it around at terrified humans.”

“Goat Simulator” promises that it
“brings next gen goat simulation to a whole new level. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true.”

The video went up on YouTube
on Feb 3 and already has over 2.5 million views. It was posted as a joke, but as Time suggests, it’s going to become a real deal.

In fact, many of the comments on the YouTube site make
suggestions about how to improve “Goat Simulator.” Wrote one, “The Humans aren't even moving. It would've been nice if the goat did something to a particular neighbor and they
try to kill him. That would [have] made the game more intense.”

Good point there.

By March or April at the latest “Goat Simulator” will be bad history, something that
Coffee Stain, to its credit would probably prefer.

While it is offering the game, it isn’t exactly selling the idea: Coffee Stain tells would-be customers, “‘Goat
Simulator’ is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA (‘Grand Theft Auto’) with goats. In fact,
you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life
goat.”