Michael Bay Has Not and Will Not Apologize for Transformers

Michael Bay makes insanely lucrative action movies. Michael Bay does notmake apologies for said insanely lucrative action movies. The filmmaker made this clear this past April when he issued a non-apology for Armageddon after The Miami Heraldmisinterpreted his statements about the 1998 blockbuster—“I will apologize for Armageddon, because we had to do the whole movie in 16 weeks.”—as an apology for the film. In a blog post titled “I’m Proud of Armageddon,” Bay explained that his statements had been taken out of context and he was not “in the slightest going to apologize for the third movie in my movie career.”

Now, the filmmaker has been forced to defend himself again with the same type of comically straightforward non-apology—this time after a different reporter allegedly misinterpreted Bay in statements about the earlierTransformers movies. In new blog post, titled “I Do Not Apologize For Any Transformers Movies,” Bay describes his non-apologetic feelings about (and the artistic integrity of) the first films in the franchise. Take it away, Michael Bay:

“No I did not ‘apologize’ for any Transformersmovies. I did not say I shot the last three movies “less cool” than the new fourth installment. I was talking specifically about camera style and tone, of the first movie compared to how I shot the new installment with a very big scale, cinematic style. I was very specific in saying the first Transformers was shot in a ‘generic suburbia’ area, not trying to be cool with any cinematic flashes. I wanted it to feel like this could happen in any backyard in the United States.

Going forward: if you, naive Internet reader, ever see the words “Michael Bay apologized” in a blog post, know that the story is likely false. The director’s statements were most likely taken out of context and will be addressed in all of their non-apologetic glory by Bay in a forthcoming statement. We think, however, that Bay should just forgo any text rebuttals in the future. Instead, he should just respond to every negative story ever written about him with a gigantic, real-time counter of the box-office dollars he has generated worldwide.