We Brits really do love a barbie, don’t we? But, oh dear. I think if we’re honest, most of us are blooming terrible at actually pulling a decent one off.

Hooray! Here we are in May with a second bank holiday around the corner, which can only mean one thing – the great British barbecue season is well and truly under way.

We Brits really do love a barbie, don’t we? But, oh dear. I think if we’re honest, most of us are blooming terrible at actually pulling a decent one off.

OK, OK, so I know that’s not entirely our fault. I mean how often do we have weather that is actually conducive to cooking outside in the garden?

But weather aside, for which we are indeed blameless, what are our excuses for all the other things that go so horribly wrong for us and our barbies?

The burnt black sausages, the raw burgers, the dry salmonella-ed chicken legs, the rock hard but at the same time burnt black sweetcorn, the charred and yet raw in the middle jacket potatoes?

Let me tell you what I think (oh no, I hear you cry!). I think we lack confidence.

We are a victim of our reputation as the worst barbiers (my made-up word!) in the world and we need to break the cycle.

So over the next two weeks I am going to dedicate this page to getting us barbie-fit for summer!

I will be scouring the internet, the cookery mags and books to bring you the best tips available to mankind.

Stick with me, kids, and together we will become the barbecue kings and queens of the world! Right, now where’s that golf brolly?

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Barbecued banana splitz

Eh? Yes, you heard it right – barbecued banana splitz!

Serves 4

2tbsp sugar

4 bananas sliced

8 scoops vanilla ice cream

2tbsp chopped hazelnuts

Chocolate sauce

4 cherries

4 cocktail umbrellas

CREAM TOPPING

200ml double cream

1tsp vanilla extract

1tbsp icing sugar

1 Make the topping first by whisking the cream, vanilla extract and icing sugar together until thickened and then pop in the fridge while you grill the bananas.

2 Sprinkle the sugar over the banana slices then lightly oil the barbecue grill. Place the bananas on the grill and cook them gently until they are lightly golden.

3 Put the bananas on a plate and pile the ice cream, cream topping, chopped nuts and sauce on top of them. Finish off with a cherry and of course a super-tacky cocktail brolly!

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Smokey stuffed peppers

Serves 3 or 6

6 mixed peppers

2tbsp olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped

1 large clove garlic, crushed

150g basmati rice

350ml hot vegetable stock

Handful cherry tomatoes

300g feta cheese

Handful basil leaves, torn

2tbsp toasted pine nuts

1 Slice each pepper in half, then rub the peppers in salt and olive oil. Next, put them on the barbecue (having followed the instructions I’ve put on the right on rules of lighting the barbie) and cook until they are slightly charred and softened.

2 While the peppers are cooking, heat up a tablespoon of oil in a nonstick, lidded pan and gently fry the onions and garlic until softened.

3 Now add the rice and tomatoes, give it all a good stir and pour the vegetable stock over the rice. Bring it up to the boil, stir it once, then lower it to a simmer – but don’t lift the lid for 15 minutes (it will be done by then), otherwise you’ll lose the steam.

4 Take it off the heat and stir in the feta cheese, basil and pine nuts. Once the peppers are charred and softened, fill them with the cooked rice – and call all the vegetarians in from the garden!