Monday, November 3, 2008

Answers & Questions

When I had some spare time today (squeezed in around play group, preschool, grocery shopping, banking, paying bills, and cooking meals) I read a bunch of the training material for trans racial adoptions. The amount of material and diverse subjects amazed me. Everything from resources on African-American hair and skin care to addressing some of the questions I have had like what to do about racism and racial issues, what trans racial children feel about being part of a white family, and incorporating a different culture into our own family.

It's beginning to come together as a picture in my mind of our family and what it will look like in years to come. I have to say I'm excited about it. One issue I hadn't even considered was one that was addressed over and over: the fact that many white families request a bi-racial child in order that some "white blood" is included in the child's genetic make-up. This practice is highly discouraged as it implies that the Black "part" of the child is inferior. Not to pat myself on the back but I was shocked! The idea had never even crossed my mind. I knew that Africans consider the darker skin to be more beautiful and for our child's sake I hoped she would be as dark as possible. If we did get a bi-racial child, I figured she would be beautiful as well, since she would be my daughter.

I definitely feel like I am armed with more information and can answer a few more questions from people, but as far as actually covering all of the issues I suppose a lifetime will not expose us to everything involved in such a venture. Still, rather than feel discouraged I am energized. Many families make this work well and have happy, well-adjusted children.

One such family I found through a google search has a blog here. Their pictures and stories inspire me. Looking at their family picture with two bio kids and a little Black angel-baby made me cry. With joy.

Now my questions run more along these lines: When can we get our baby? WHEN can we get our baby? How soon can we get our baby? Can I be patient for the months between now and getting our baby?

This is a wonderful thing you are doing, Erin. And yes, this child IS your baby. God has known from the beginning of time that she would be YOURS and has already made all the necessary provisions to bring your dreams to reality. How exciting! And what a blessed little one she will be for having been placed in your family!Becky T.