After watching Melissa Leo’s acceptance speech at the Oscars last night for the third time, it seems like she practiced it for hours beforehand in front of the bathroom mirror in her hotel suite and made her assistant shine a flashlight at her in lieu of a spotlight. When Melissa looked up at the “little people” in the balcony with the same wide-eyed look I throw when there’s a 9-inch peen in front of me (in my dreams), I thought Toto was going to scamper out on stage and she’d break into an acoustic version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” If those kids didn’t claim that song for the finale, she would’ve. Laying it on thick! Seriously, Melissa is like the mobile park version of Mindy Grayson.

Before snatching the walking apparatus from a fragile and precious invalid (aka Kirk Douglas), Melissa shot the fuck word at the audience. ABC hit the ‘THINK OF THE CHILDREN” button and so it was bleeped out for TV, but here’s the uncensored clip below:

Kathie Lee Gifford, who is forever the epitome of grace and class, couldn’t believe that Melissa would spit out such filth during her big moment. To which I say, why the fuck not! a) Sometimes our internal emotions are percolating so much that the only way to get them out is through the letters F-U-C-K. b) A fuck gets more attention than a no fuck.

Melissa apologized later backstage saying that she was so overcome with emotion: “I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Just slipped out. I was a little excited.”

Fun fact: That little quote is the exact same thing Kevin Spacey said after pulling down his fly in front of Jake Gyllenhaal backstage.

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