The Bachelor in Paradise Season 5 Trailer Is Here, and It's Predictably Bonkers

"This place is as beautiful as me," Jordan Kimball says at the top of the Bachelor in Paradise season five trailer, which just dropped today—and that just about sums up the entire clip. Yes, my friends, we're less than a month away from the start of Bachelor in Paradise, and if this trailer's any indication, we're in for some daiquiri-covered narcissism.

Jordan isn't the only fan favorite who's on full display in this trailer. There's also Krystal Nielson, from Arie Luyendyk Jr.'s season. Remember her? She's the one who allegedly called Arie a "needle d-ck" and freaked out over a bowling game or some nonsense? Anyway, midway through this trailer, Krystal—while wearing a towel around her shoulders like Supergirl—says to a fellow islander, "I do what I want," before literally snapping her fingers and walking away. That sounds…exactly like something Krystal would do.

There's also Bibiana Julian, also from Arie's season and Bachelor Winter Games, who said she was "broken" because Arie was ignoring her on the show. That's ridiculous for many reasons, mostly because Bibiana could do so much better than Arie (as can every other human on this planet). She gets her third shot at love on BiP, but all she does in this trailer is cry her eyes out and then say, "I'm having so much fun," so I'm already worried for her.

Peep the trailer for yourself, below:

The only saving grace here is Joe Amabile, the grocery store owner who was wrongfully booted during episode one of Becca Kufrin's season. He's also on Bachelor in Paradise this season and appears in this trailer for just one second. "Boom," is all he says, and just like that I'm ready for marriage.