Support Structure and Other Things

I’m an idiot. I’ve known it for a while, but there’s no denying my idiocy. I’ve been blessed with a great family and a job that couldn’t be better suited to me if I created it myself. I was also granted durability that I did little to earn, due to heredity. And what did I do with it? I paid little attention to it, and jeopardized everything.

You may have heard that, recently, I was ill. It was somewhere between serious and dire. Due to people imploring me to get help, I’m alive and recovering with a newfound vigor. I’m still an idiot. The details? Not important right now, but I will address it at the right time and the right place. The upshot? I’m excited to heal and get back to doing what I love because I’ve been given that precious second-chance.

What’s this got to do with pipes, tobacco and cigars? Nothing, and everything. For a number of years, I’ve had the love of my children and a job that kept me interested every day, but I floated through life. I had the usual aches and pains, but dismissed them as aging. I looked forward to doing things with the kids and doing my job and going to shows, but other than that, I didn’t care to do much else. I didn’t realize that years of gradual neglect had made me sick and was draining me of energy, and outside of the things that meant the most to me, I had stopped caring.

If a pipe show was coming up or we were ready to roll out a new Hearth & Home blend, I’d be in a good mood and would be pretty motivated. If something cropped up with one of my girls, I could find reserves to be able to participate. But if it was something for me, like getting out to play some golf, go to see a movie or ballgame or the like, forget it. I realized, finally, that I felt that way because I didn’t feel valuable enough as a person to want to invest any resources in myself. When I began to heal from my illness, I started to see that part of the problem was how my physical issues affected me mentally. It was as if a fog had lifted, and I finally began to see my life differently. For the first time in over a decade, I had energy to spend on myself, not just on my job or the kids; now all I have to do is regain enough of my health to use it, and I guarantee you that I will…and soon.

You would think that I would have had a positive image of my worth with all the nice things that people have said to me at the shows or through notes, emails and phone calls, but you’d be wrong. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe that folks were sincere; it was because I saw the nice comments as praise for my work and products, which I had separated from myself, as if the Hearth & Home tobaccos were entities unto themselves, and, therefore, the compliments were for them, not me. Then I got sick.

I don’t want to sound melodramatic, but it’s safe to say that if I had waited another day or two to get help, I wouldn’t be writing this. A great number of wonderfully talented and dedicated people worked quickly and diligently to pull me back from the brink, and I’ll never be able to properly express my gratitude. As I began to recover, that fog lifted, and I realized that I had had a distorted view of life. My daughters were there every step of the way with love and support that can’t be described. Their love was the reason I got help to begin with, and their ability to circle the wagons is what pulled me through. I can’t say enough about the powers-that-be here at Pipes and Cigars.com. I won’t get into all that they have done to help me get well as they would be embarrassed, but suffice it to say that Scott Bendett, the owner, and Bob Gates, the head honcho at P&C have helped greatly with my peace of mind so I can get back up and running quickly.

All of the folks here at our company have contributed so much, as well. Their calls and visits buoyed my spirits and helped me to realize that they didn’t just look at me as a co-worker, but as a friend. That started a groundswell of positive feelings that made me begin to look at things differently.

All of this happened around the time of the Chicagoland Pipe and Tobacciana Show early in May of this year, and I had really wanted to be there as I was one of the judges for the John Cotton’s Throwdown. Scott stepped up to take my place, and I’m sure that the crowd enjoyed listening to him. He and Bob spread the word about my illness during the show, and for me, that was the beginning of a transformational experience that I can only look upon as a miracle.

I started to receive notes, letters, cards, emails, blog responses and phone calls from well-known people in the pipe smoking industry and community, from the friends I’ve made at the show circuit, from customers who I’ve known for a while, and from a great number of people who only knew me because of my blends. I had people contact me from around the world, from places I’ve never been. That’s when the revelation came. I was being sent good wishes, positive energy and prayers by people who I have only reached tangentially, who I’ve made contact with only by the tobaccos, which are, to some degree, an extension of myself. But they did so because my efforts made their lives more enjoyable and so they felt compelled to reach out to me, and for the first time in a long, long time, I began to feel valuable, not as just a Dad or a worker, but as a complete human being.

I’m not ashamed to admit that a lot of happy tears flowed because of this epiphany, and now I wake up every day looking forward to what will come my way. I have energy that I haven’t felt in many years, and though my recovery will still take some time, I don’t look at it with dread for the effort it will take, but with anticipation for getting back to what I love to do, part of which is to see if I can do something to bring something good into people’s lives.

I’ll be back soon, thinner, healthier and smiling a whole lot more than in the past. And if you were one of the folks who contacted me, thought of me, or who just enjoy these little missives I write, my heartfelt thanks go out to you. So if you have a lousy day, just remember that your good thoughts have helped someone get better and that his best wishes for you will always be there.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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Russ Ouellette is the blender/creator of the Hearth & Home series of tobaccos for www.pipesandcigars.com in Bethlehem, PA. He has been a pipe smoker and blender for over 30 years, and enjoys feedback from the pipe smoking public. You can reach Russ at russo@pipesandcigars.com or by calling 1-800-494-9144.

Good on you Russ! Life sometimes gets in the way of living and 2nd chances are a God send given for good reason.
Now get back to blending and perform your magic by putting together a masterpiece celebrating not only your talent but your awakening. It’ll be a tribute to 2nd Chancers everywhere!

Thank you for sharing this with us. I was saddened to hear about your illness, but I knew that if anyone could carry on and make it through, you could. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well and look forward to more from you for many years to come.

dear Russ..
your absence was indeed a great loss to the chicago pipe show. however, i knew there from the guys that you had your reasons not to be able to join. i however included u in my thoughts and prayers. i am very glad to know that you are safe and sound and you will continue your journey in the tobacco world and you indeed deserve all the support from family and friends (hopefullt we all are part of them) because you are a great person and i am sure god will reward you big time for that. wish you all the best life can give…take care my friend.

Russ,
This world would be a sadder place with out you. Put all the tobacco/cigar stuff aside, I think of you as one of my friends, and I don’t have all that many. We have talked for a long time, about many things, and I have enjoyed just listening when you spoke. You are WORTH everything God can give to you. Never, ever doubt that!!
BTW: when you are up to it, Lisa and I still owe you a dinner ;~)

This just proves my point. None of you had any reason to write your comments, other than the fact that you have the capacity to care, and that has renewed my faith in people. Thank you.
And Tom, you picked the right time to take me to dinner; I eat a whole lot less than I used to…and I’m loving it.

Russ … You don’t know me from anything more than a couple email exchanges and my being one of your 252 Facebook Friends. But, as I recounted in my Victorian Stroll review (www.tobaccoreviews.com/blend_detail.cfm?ALPHA=V&TID=2488), your kindness to a then-future customer made a very nice impression indeed. I’ve had an utterly modest but lifelong career in music with folks who’ve bought and listened to my albums, but I totally nodded my head when you wrote about how easy it is to build a wall of separation between work done well and the actual person who’s doing it. I could probably send a therapist on a nice summer vacation trying to unravel some of these things. Suffice to say, I appreciate your post. I may never get the chance to meet you and thank you in person for the hours of peace and pleasure your handiwork yields. But whenever I remember to pray for you and your family, I feel glad to have a seat on what you now know is a really big Team Ouellette bus! Best regards, Bob Bennett.

Dad,
While I may not be one of your innumerable and enthusiatic tobacco pals here, at the shop, or on the many forums to which you belong, I can safely say that I as your eldest child have had the privilege and honor of knowing you the longest of any of them. And now, that I am an adult, I love the relationship that we enjoy as both father and daughter, and even more, as friends. I know I have never lacked for being expressive of my feelings toward you, but it has rarely been something as public as this and under normal circumstances, that might be a deterrent, but circumstances of late being anything but normal, it seems this is the perfect way to tell the world (or whoever may get the opportunity to read this at least) how I feel. I just want to tell you how really and truly proud I am of you. I have always been proud of you for being my Dad, and someone who whom I have looked to for support, and advice and as a role model for many of the qualities people see in me as some of my best assets. However, of late, you have been so amazing to watch through all the adversity you have had to face in life, current circumstances only being the most recent debacle, that it has been nothing short of awe inspiring. I am in complete and utter astonishment of the courage, strength of character, and sheer force of will you have exhibited in your dedication to your recovery and continuing progress. While I never doubted your ability to ultimately persevere, and to eventually regain any ground that was lost through your illness, I can’t tell you how amazed I have been by the absolute alacrity with which you have done so, not to mention the sheer diligence you have demonstrated in your own treatment. I know you’re sitting there reading this with a bemused smile on your face shaking your head in humble embarassment over my gushing, but it just needed to be said. I feel so blessed to be privy to your staggering transformation. I love you with all my heart.

Russ,
So happy to hear you are recovering well. I could never begin to thank you enough for all the knowledge and wisedom you’ve passed to me through the years i was at HPCS. Without you, I dont think I would have learned a fraction of what I know today, not only about tobacco, but about life aswell. I wish i had the time to come and see you while you were down, but my crazy schedule left me with little to no time. I hope to be able to come visit and talk with you a while, along with everyone at the shop and the pipesandcigars.com. I hope that you continue to get well and thrive, and to be able to continue doing the things you love!

I am glad to hear you are getting better and that you have gained a new perspective on your life that makes you a priority. You have made such an impact on my life and the lives of many others, don’t ever forget that. Once you feel better , I would love to see you. Love you, Tara Marie

Russ,
I met you briefly last year at the Chicago Pipe Show (my 1st ever, after a 30 hiatus of not smoking a pipe & a new CPCC member) & I just remember how friendly & helpful you were in helping me find a tobacco that I would enjoy. I remember that day fondly, and I knew I had met someone that was special & caring. Now it’s time to reciprocate – you are in my thoughts & prayers, and sending positive vibes to you and your loved ones through this recovery. Make time to stop & smell the roses [jeez. I need to take my own advice ]
Take care & I am looking forward to seeing you sometime again (hopefully in St. Charles next year)

I’m at a loss, here. I didn’t intend to look for accolades, but everything that has been written here has buoyed my spirits even further. I’ll work hard to get back quickly so I can thank you all in the best way I can.

One of your monthly blends was the first aromatic I ever smoked. One of your H&H blends was the first non-aromatic I ever smoked (which will always remain among my favorites). I’m just a P&C customer and a guy that enjoys the products of your work.

We don’t know each other, we’ve never met or exchanged emails, but have only shared a comment or two on a pipe smoker’s forum regarding one of your newer tobacco blends, and I know I’m three years late in commenting here (I’m relatively new to the pipe smoking community). But none of that is really important because each of us faces life’s adversities and defeats and triumphs and they know no time limits, and that is the human condition we share which connects us all.

So I just want to let you know (if you see this), that these words you wrote a few years ago are very uplifting and encouraging to me today as I have found myself in similar circumstances. Reading your daughter, Colleen’s post moved me to tears and I went straightaway to my daughters and scooped them up and hugged and kissed them both.

Thank you for sharing, Russ. Be assured that you have succeeded in bringing “something good to people’s lives”, in more ways than one.
I hope that your health is better than ever, your spirits remain high, and your enthusiasm for life is never-ending.

Tim, thanks for your kind comments. I’m glad if this post has given you a little boost. I still mean every word I wrote, and my health is better than ever. My conditions are under excellent control, and I’m down to 147 lbs., while hitting the gym every other day. With the challenges presented to me daily with my job, I have a never-ending source of impetus to keep my energy level high. With any luck at all, I’ll be around for a long time and hope to keep bringing new and (hopefully) interesting blends to you.