Whew!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Sorry I've been AWOL this week! Starting tomorrow I'm going to do my best to catch up on everything on Spark! Haha I know I keep saying that, but I mean it!

This week has been straight up hellish. I've been working 9am-Midnight every single day and I've been lucky to get 5 hours of sleep a night. I'm exhausted. I'm supposed to be at my second job right now, but I told them to find someone to cover the shift because I simply could not do it. I need to sleep before I go crazy! I've also come to discover that... I still loathe retail! It's only been two weeks and I hate the job with a passion. I don't want to deal with a single demanding, rude customer or drama among co-workers or having a loss prevention rep from corporate saunter in and accuse me of being a thief because the store's loss numbers are high. Just. Nope!

My plan was going to quit when the boss came in yesterday afternoon, but when she did I couldn't do it because I felt so guilty! She's an old colleague of mine and hired me straight up when I said I needed some extra money and here I am dropping the whole thing two weeks later (and apparently quite a few others have quit and they are really short-handed). I felt so guilty that I couldn't do it! Ugh. I need to get out of that situation fast but I'm such a wiener. When I quit retail the first time it took me THREE WEEKS to tell my boss, and I was miserable that whole time, yet I couldn't bear the guilt of leaving them with the burdens of my exit. I really need to deal with these guilt issues.

Anywho, having my schedule so jam-packed has been pretty great for my diet! Preparing all that food for the week ahead of time was really a life-saver on time and efficiency. There was one day I had sushi with my boss that I couldn't quite count the calories on, but other than that every single day I kept it under 1450 calories! Woohoo! I haven't had the time to weigh myself in a week, but I hope there's progress (especially after the gorging I did last weekend!). I definitely know the 15 hour work days means my body is burning more calories than it's used to, so that's probably as much to blame for my fatigue as lack of sleep.

After today I have two days off from both jobs, which is a Godsend. I plan on doing that whole cook the week's food again with beef stew, cumin-roasted carrots, veggie mac and cheese, and have quick-prep items on hand for almond butter and jelly sandwiches, spinach salads, and boiled eggs for extra protein on top of bananas, apples, and greek yogurt for snacks. I'm still doing the protein shake thing for breakfast and I think it's working out pretty good! I'm usually not hungry for three or four hours unless I keep thinking about food, and it's a great way to satisfy any random chocolate milk cravings that I have or when I'm running late. I could never do anything like the Slim Fast diet, though! That's a bit too much shake in my day.

Well even though I didn't have to work this morning I've got a ton of housework and chores that have stacked up before I go to my primary job this afternoon. I hope everyone is doing well! I'll be checking out blogs and such tomorrow! Have a great weekend!

SIRENSONGS
Just reading your blog made me feel exhausted! You poor thing, I don't know how you do it!!!! I'm glad you're still managing to eat well and healthily, very well indeed by the sound of it, but remember, you need your sleep too so you don't burn yourself out completely.

I can understand why you might feel a little bit guilty about quitting your new job so soon, but you really shouldn't. If you hate it so much, and it's causing you so much grief and exhaustion, you really need to do what is best for you. Do you need the money so desperately? Can you maybe cut down the number of hours you work? It's very thoughtful of you to think about letting your boss down, but you honestly need to put yourself first. Maybe if you talk to her about your concerns, you could work something out? If she was ready to hire you on the spot, then she definitely has respect for you, and would be willing to listen to what you have to say. I know it's difficult, but you really should at least try and talk to her.

I hope you enjoy your much deserved two days off in a row, and get plenty of time in for yourself, to rest, relax and recharge!