“Mooresville and Iredell County schools are partnering with Piedmont Mediation Center, Inc., to offer a different way to solve conflicts like bullying, risky behavior, sexting and truancy.” This is not about mediation. It is about “having the children and teens understand who they hurt and how. Goals for the program include “providing a sense of justice, while reducing crime and cost.”

There has been a lot of success in working with kids in this kind of way. The mediator is used as the first point of contact for the teen in trouble. “The Restorative Justice program has no negotiation; if the child is not willing to acknowledge the harm and make steps toward making it right, this is not the program for them.”

“With the program, the child and parent would have a pre-conference with a counselor from the mediation center, talking about the infraction as well as the program and seeing if it’s appropriate, which Masiello says it typically is.”

A rule I have been giving to my pro se clients lately is this: once we begin mediating, as long as it takes, we are now in an exclusive negotiation period. What does that mean? it means that we are in the zone of possible agreement (ZOPA) and while we are in it you are not to discuss the negotiations with any other third parties (except your lawyer, if represented). I find that in family cases, especially divorces I have chosen to become involved in, the input of third parties derails good negotiations. Why? because third parties inject unintended fears and unrealistic expectations onto the process. Also, third parties tend to project onto you their own issues, problems, fears, past unfulfilled expectations, and other unhealthy feelings.

Living with this rule will help you build trust in the process, in the other party which will give you a better chance of reaching agreement.