Journeying towards Him, one day at a time

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I must admit; there is nothing more uplifting than music. When I’m having a bad day and turn on the radio to one of my feel-good songs, it feels like I’ve just swallowed a bottle of happy pills.

Then there are those songs, that bring out the inner goddess in you. The song that celebrates the power and beauty of being a woman. They’re all sung by women, for only a woman can understand the perils, pain and challenges women may have to face every day, in the workplace, our societies or amongst other women.

Then we listen to “Run the world (Girls)” by Beyonce – and you ask yourself, do we really run the world? Are we really in control?

“Can’t hold us down” by Christina Aguilera – Can we really wear what we like without being a victim of assault? Can we really stop men from labelling us because we wouldn’t give them the time of day?

These are great feel-good songs, but the feeling of being in control ends when the song is over.

The reality is that the war against women is far from over. We might have won over the boardrooms, but the physical violence against women is increasing at an alarming rate. In this era, domestic violence is still taboo. “Our mothers, and grandmothers stuck it out, because they were uneducated and had nowhere to go” – this is something we hear far too often – “I will not be a man’s boxing bag”

But the truth is when it does happen to us, we’re ashamed, we’re ashamed of what people would say if they found out, we worry about how we’d be judged by our friends and family. We wonder about the gossip that would go around. Would people say I provoked him? Would they say I must have cheated on him and I deserved what I got? These are the kind of questions that we think about, before we can speak about it.

What I have noticed amongst women is no women would let another know that she’s not happy. No women will let another know that she’s not being treated well. No women will let another know that she needs help. And the reason for that is quite simple; I cannot let another women know that I do not have it “together”; they will think I’m weak.

We’re in a time where women are expected to juggle her career, tha family, the social circles, and all the shenanigans that come with it, all without batting an eyelid. And when it gets too much for us, we feel like we’re failing our loved ones, failing ourselves, dropping the ball, not having it “together”. Everyone is managing just fine, so why am I complaining?

What I don’t know is, my friend might have it worse than I do, but she couldn’t speak to me, afraid of what I might think of her.

It’s about time that we, as women, need to start standing together, supporting each other.

I am not safe from the violence because of the work that I do. I am not safe from the violence because of the car that I drive. I am not safe from the violence because of the suburb I live in. I m not safe from the violence because my husband is a prominent businessman.