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The truth about a 2008 post

It goes without saying that some of the stuff I chuck into the Satire/Parody category are oblique references to the truth. Here’s a prime example. It’s an open secret, just like the veritas (how ironic) “guest author” posts back in the days.

I didn’t expect so many people to take it seriously and I formulated a response that was approved by my girlfriend at that time. It wasn’t the truth.

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20 thoughts on “The truth about a 2008 post”

We’ve all done stupid shit in the past, but what matters more is that we learn from our mistakes and grow from it. Good on you for being honest and it takes a lot of balls for you to put this out there.

Well, I’ve never actually went out and told everyone this, least of all on my blog. I guess I’ve been trying to avoid the subject myself.

This provided me with an opportunity to think about what I’ve done and how badly it has affected everyone. I’ve been really crass in the past with regards to relationships.

I won’t have written about this at all if not given the time to think about the wrongs I’ve done during the past and I hope that this would make others think twice about doing this. It can affect a lot of people, the most of all being the other party, and so was I, although I didn’t think much of it by drowning myself in alcohol back then.

A life is a life and even though I’m pro-choice I’ve never made the same mistake again. I’ve learned from it and I guess that’s what life is all about.

Yeah, it was a sequence of events that led to this. I’ve always thought that it couldn’t happen to us if you count the dates properly but there’s always a risk of that, as we learned the hard way.

It led to a lot of problems and I must admit, I was really an asshole at that time, although we discussed whether to keep it or not, it was my ex who said no, citing the reason that I’m not a good father and I won’t be.

It’s true, I *couldn’t* be a good father at that time – I was drunk almost every night after work and I didn’t have any sense of responsibility.

Life is about learning from mistakes. I won’t make the same one again.

this is hard to read and watch to me. it bring back bad memory. i did it 9 years ago. i was stupid teen and i really regret it. i am married now. but my husband don’t know about it and i can’t tell him now. it make me really confused and guilt at the same time. but good that you know not to do it anymore hb. god bless you.

Thanks for sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you and the situation you are in now. :(

Anyway, if you don’t mind, can I share a story with you? It’s also a true story. This was with a different relationship – a couple of years when the events described in this post happened.

I’ll just name the person in the post A and the person I’m talking about now B.

I was quite surprised when I got into a relationship with B – she told me *after* we’re together that she has had an abortion before. This was when we were maybe six months into the relationship – quite a serious one.

She (B) said that she’s thought about it for a long time and that she wanted to tell me despite being scared that I’ll break up with her coz relationships must be based on trust. She told me and I accepted her honesty and admired her even.

Now, when she told me, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about *myself* which was the incident with A.

I felt really shitty and it really gnawed away at my conscience, just like how you’re feeling now I suppose. She knows I was with A but didn’t know about what we went though.

I decided to tell her about the D&C that happened when I was with A only 3 months after she told me and I expected her (B) to be really pissed off at me. She wasn’t.

She said she was glad that I told her, and I said I was really sorry coz I kept that to myself for such a long time.

She said it didn’t matter, what matters is that I eventually told her and there are no more dark, dirty secrets in our closet.

We were together for quite a while and broke up for a different reason and we’re still good friends now.

I certainly can’t tell you what to do, if you decide to do anything, but I hope that anecdote would be of comfort to you – in hindsight, we would have made a very stable couple, me and B. I just wasn’t ready. B was a really nice person who was honest and encouraged me to be the same with regards to past relationships.

Things like this can eat you up…I really feel for you and maybe your husband would understand. After all, it happened so long ago.

It is never too late to tell a loved one something – a relationship is built out of trust and while I can hardly be advising anyone on relationships, maybe you can take heart that it is possible to tell your husband what happened now and it might not be a big deal after all.

HB, You know I have always been a fan and a supporter. I am very proud of you for being so brave to tell us your story and more importantly, verbalize it out loud to yourself. That’s a really hard thing to do and it’s just commendable! *HUGS* and love you man!

Bro .. i know it is tough for you to go through this …
well we have to move forward and learn from our mistake..
I was once just like you and i was really tired and I start a new beginning when i met my wife….
Cheers and have a great weekend ya…

I made this comment on the video and I am saying it again here:
Nobody’s perfect…but it is very obvious that you try and I must say you’re doing very well at it. Keep it up, buddy. It may sound corny but you’re “beautiful…just the way you are!”
Remember, you are very much loved by many.

Yeah, nobody’s perfect, I’m trying to be a better person myself and maybe help others by reaching out to Project Listen and hoping someone will watch and maybe learn and think twice before doing anything similar.

Life is a learning experience.

Thanks for the support Arthur. I’m very grateful to have friends like you. :)

I agree with Raymond and suituapui; as long as you’re honest and forthright about it with those closest to you, it should be alright.

God doesn’t abandon us just because we’ve made mistakes. We’re only humans, not saints. I’ve also made mistakes in my past that I wish to bury and throw away the key, but as much as it pained me, I’ve learned to accept it as part of the ever-complicating life.

So, yeah, don’t worry, HB. Your friends will be there for you through thick and thin. =)

Maybe being young is all about doing mistakes but at least we’re learning from them. We’ve all got our fair share of dark pasts. Maybe I haven’t make someone pregnant by accident (i keep a ready supply of protection even in my wallet) yet but I’ve done some pretty nasty things before too. So I’d say you’re not alone. Life goes on. :)