How to make porridge

This is how one prepares a tasty porridge. Take 150 mL of oats and 225mL of skimmed-milk—add them together in a cooking pot. Apply low to medium heat and wait for the mixture to come to a boil. Now add a little more than half a tablespoon of clotted cream and stir until the cream has completely dissolved and the porridge has achieved a nice thick smooth consistency. Finally, transfer the porridge to a bowl for serving. Sprinkle the steaming concoction generously with unrefined cane sugar. And it is most advisable to add a generous tablespoon of single malt Scotch whisky, preferably from a region of the highlands of Scotland were the kilts are still worn without undergarments.