I’m a veteran Chicago-based consumer automotive journalist devoted to providing news, views, timely tips and reviews to help maximize your automotive investments. In addition to posting on Forbes.com, I'm a Contributing Editor for Consumers Digest magazine and write frequently on automotive topics for other national and regional publications and websites. My work also appears in newspapers across the U.S., syndicated by CTW Features. I'm the author of the Automotive Intelligentsia Money-Saving New-Car Guide and the Automotive Intelligentsia series of Sports Car Guides, available via Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble online and at the Apple iBook store. Email me at carguyjim@att.net.

The Most Embarrassing Cars On The Road

We’ve long had a theory that what people drive reveals a great deal about their personalities, and even those who claim to own a particular car solely to get from Point A to Point B are saying as much about themselves as those who drive Ferraris. So what to make of a new survey that identifies what are considered to be the most embarrassing rides from the last decade?

Topping the list compiled by CarInsurance.com – and by a wide margin we might add – is the Smart ForTwo, a diminutive egg-shaped two-seater that truly stands out in a crowded parking lot, but not necessarily for the right reasons. “All these cars are bold statements. You either love them or hate them,” says CarInsurance.com managing editor Des Toups. “But even considering that, a lot of people don’t like the Smart ForTwo, and those who don’t like it seem to despise it.” The unfortunate ForTwo garnered such pointed responses as “too girly,” “too dorky” and the patently obvious, “it looks like I couldn’t afford a full-size car.”

Other models comprising the rogue’s gallery of a dozen rolling embarrassments – which we’re featuring with our own commentary in the accompanying slideshow – include such standouts as the boxy Nissan Cube, militaristic Hummer H2, the just plain curious Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet and what has become the poster child for oddball autos, the Pontiac Aztek.

Unfortunately nobody actually surveyed the owners of such automotive atrocities, but rather CarInsurance.com asked 1,500 participants to look at photos of models from the past 10 years to determine in which they would be most embarrassed to be seen, along with the three vehicles they considered particularly “cringe-worthy.” Some included on the list, like the Volkswagen New Beetle, Honda Element and Chevrolet HHR are otherwise respectable models with styling that perhaps hasn’t worn well over time. In the name of full disclosure, our personal family car sits at number nine on the list of most embarrassing autos, the retro-flavored Chrysler PT Cruiser. Helmed mostly by our spouse, most PTs we’ve seen on the road are likewise driven by other middle-aged women who don’t seem to be the least bit ashamed by the experience (like wearing “mom jeans” we suppose).

Confirming the old adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the survey also found that just about any vehicle could be embarrassing when seen in the proper light. To that end, those queried found purple, bright yellow and orange to be the most discomforting car colors. We’ll go with the crowd on this one.

Among vehicle types it seems the most rational choices were considered the most embarrassing among the survey’s respondents. It comes as no shock that minivans were among the most vilified, with a large percentage of men considering them to be a vehicular travesty. Inexpensive compact cars led the list (a little class warfare anybody?) with fuel-saving hybrid-powered models coming in third (for some reason they’re perceived to be less humiliating to drive than large gas-guzzling SUVs and pickups).

What’s more, the survey confirmed the notion that one of ill taste can render even the most desirable vehicle shameful. More than a third of those polled cited tacky headlamp eyelashes to be among the most obnoxious automotive accessory abominations, followed by allegedly aerodynamic exaggerated spoilers and wings, bumper stickers and the modern-day equivalent of those old “baby on board” placards, stick-figure family decals.

By this measure, a bright yellow or purple Smart ForTwo fitted with cosmetic eyelashes and a wing-like rear spoiler could well be the most mortifying model possible.

On the plus side, the survey found sports cars to be the least embarrassing types of vehicles overall, cited in that regard by a mere two percent of those queried. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule. Take, for example, the week we test-drove a Porsche 911 painted the same deep purple hue as Barney the Dinosaur, which we can attest was the only time in our career we felt self-conscious sitting behind the wheel of what is otherwise a world-class iconic ride.

Apparently whoever coined the phrase “love is blind” never drove a purple car.

Post Your Comment

Post Your Reply

Forbes writers have the ability to call out member comments they find particularly interesting. Called-out comments are highlighted across the Forbes network. You'll be notified if your comment is called out.