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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Social Saturday: Lol game

After the talk of sadness earlier this week, it's time for an antidote! Let's do an LOL game. This is where you post something that makes you laugh: a joke, a phrase, a story. Anything that brings you a chuckle.

Someone told me about his wife who hates to hear anyone swear but is getting very angry at the telemarketers who keep calling.Last week he heard her answer the phone and say," Thank you, but I'm not interested." A short pause, then very loudly she shouted into the receiver. "Rude words, rude words, rude words!"

When mortals beg for mercy. Ha! Can you believe they would try to beg mercy from me? How ridiculous they look and sound: "oh, please, spare me. I have a wife and daughter!" Do you now? Then bring them to me.

Oh, I think maybe the best one I've heard was "Oh, Sir, I know you'll do the right thing." She knows I'll 'do the right thing'? Then she doesn't know much! Ha! That one was hilarious!

What's funny is when we tell Ricky all the things we've been up to--who we killed, who we had sex with, which places we broke into or whatever, and he runs around in a panic, yelling about "laws" and things like that. Hilarious. Especially when we haven't done anything except work on a new song.

The cool thing about escalators is that they don't break. They just become stairs.- Mitch Hedgeberg

The man knew the flood was coming. The orders came across the news to evacuate, but he didn't leave his house.

"I have faith that the Lord will save me," he said and stayed in his home.

The flood waters covered the street. A jeep drove through the water to his house and offered to take him to safety. "The Lord will save me," he said.

The flood waters rose, and he had to go to the second story of his house. A boat came up to the window and offered to take him to safety. Again he refused, insisting that the Lord would save him.

The flood waters rose higher, and he had to climb onto the roof. A helicopter lowered him a basket as he clung to his chimney, but he would not let go. "I have faith that the Lord will save me," he said again.

The flood waters rose even higher and he was swept away and drowned.

When he got to Heaven he stood before God and said, "Lord, I have been your loyal servant all my life. When the flood waters came, I put my faith in you to save me, but I died anyway."

To which the Lord replied, "I sent you a jeep, a boat, and a helicopter, what else did you want me to do?"- Anon