Back in July, (alleged) former Central Intelligence Agency officer and one-time Reform Party presidential nominee Robert David Steele appeared on Alex Jones’ InfoWars to voice a pet canard: he claims that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration had a colony of child slaves on Mars.

While some expressed disbelief that defending themselves from interplanetary child slavery charges was a thing that they actually had to do …

and others suggested the literally anything else they’d prefer to talk to the press about …

one man, Chief Technologist John H. Scott, just wanted to correct the record.

Not only did Steele and InfoWars get the location of the colony wrong - it’s a moon of Jupiter, you moron - but also its denizens: NASA had in fact been capturing politicians to sate the surprisingly bipartisan appetites of a jellyfish monster.

While it’s not clear if Scott carried on with his threat to pass this info on to Jones the fact that it hasn’t come up at a White House Press briefing might be proof enough that it remains a closely-guarded secret.