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Obama’s first Presidential trip to Israel isn’t exactly off to an auspicious start. His driver filled the diesel-run Presidential limo with gasoline and the advance team had shoes thrown at them and 90% of Israelis listening to his first utterances upon prancing down the stairs of AF1 will probably hear his remarks as I’ve translated/commented on them below:

I want to begin right now, by answering a question that is sometimes asked about our relationship — why? Why does the United States stand so strongly, so firmly with the State of Israel? And the answer is simple. We stand together because we share a common story — patriots determined “to be a free people in our land,” pioneers who forged a nation, heroes who sacrificed to preserve our freedom, and immigrants from every corner of the world who renew constantly our diverse societies.

–Uh… Okay. That’s not the most full-throated summary of our alliance but it’s a start…

We stand together because we are democracies. For as noisy and messy as it may be, we know that democracy is the greatest form of government ever devised by man.

–Wrong, Mr. President. The United States of America is NOT a democracy. We are a constitutional republic. Mob rule does NOT describe the the civic framework of either Israel or America.

We stand together because it makes us more prosperous. Our trade and investment create jobs for both our peoples. Our partnerships in science and medicine and health bring us closer to new cures, harness new energy and have helped transform us into high-tech hubs of our global economy.

–Right. Got it. Intimate that the Jews are greedy and it’s in their financial self-interest to partner with us. And they make their mothers proud by being doctors… Wow.

We stand together because we share a commitment to helping our fellow human beings around the world. When the earth shakes and the floods come, our doctors and rescuers reach out to help. When people are suffering, from Africa to Asia, we partner to fight disease and overcome hunger.

–And the only reason that’s okay is because we show up when disaster strikes. If not for that, we’d just be a bunch of filthy greedy money-changers. Got it.

And we stand together because peace must come to the Holy Land. For even as we are clear-eyed about the difficulty, we will never lose sight of the vision of an Israel at peace with its neighbors.

–If only Israel weren’t “occupying” Palestine, right Mr. President….?

So as I begin this visit, let me say as clearly as I can –the United States of America stands with the State of Israel because it is in our fundamental national security interest to stand with Israel. It makes us both stronger. It makes us both more prosperous. And it makes the world a better place. (Applause.)

–So as I begin this visit, let me say as clearly as I can –the United States of America – NOT ME PERSONALLY – stands with the State of Israel because:
1. We don’t get our asses blown off this way.
2. We’re greedy.
3. We can occupy anyplace we want because of 1 & 2.
4. We cover for this unconscionable imperialism by showing up when disaster strikes.

THANK YOU.

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UPDATE I – @2:36pm WED 3/20:

Good God. Will the indignities never end? If this were Romney or Palin, MSNBC would be doubling over in laughter at the rube diplomacy being carried out… Now? The frickin’ magnolia tree Obama brought over and just planted with Simon Peres is being dug up… Good grief.

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UPDATE II – @9:55am THU 3/21:

Oh, well thank GOD for that! P.R. crisis averted! Obama’s magnolia tree won’t be dug up! There will be peace in the Middle East as a result, I’m sure.

1. As regards Hillary’s (Benghazi, Libya, dead Ambassador +3) testimony on The Hill yesterday: The sum total of her testimony was “I didn’t get the memo” which resulted in all progressives & all MSM hailing this as a slap-down of those meanie GOP who questioned her. There were only 2 or 3 GOP who did an even half-way decent job of it, out of some 5 1/2 hours, which was distressing enough, but to hear the liberal media tell it, obfuscating and criminal negligence are praise-worthy talents. (And flat-out lying. She flat-out lied at least three times I counted. Just flat-out LIED.) I can only imagine if the exact same series of events took place under George W. Bush and Condoleeza Rice. I’m guessing “I didn’t get the memo” wouldn’t fly…

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2. As regards women in foxholes: I used to sleep easy at night that none of my children would be drafted, as I have no sons… So much for that. Panetta, on his way out, overturned that policy so now women can fight on the front lines. I’ve always thought that if a woman CHOSE to, and her COMMANDER thought it was a good idea, she should be allowed to do it; but as a one-size-fits-all policy, NO. Men and women ARE different and no matter how much you may want to make that not so, IT’S NOT SO. That’s not to say they are not EQUAL: Just DIFFERENT. Again, if, in certain circumstances, you have a squad member who is uniquely suited to that work whose Commander (likely knowing what his troops think) thinks its workable, FINE. But this cookie-cutter-we’re-all-equal-progressive-social-engineering-in-foxholes ain’t the way.

The only thing wrong with this depiction of Obama is that the fear he expresses is ours, not his. Obama, I have no doubt, believes that we can drop our military pants and continue to be safe behind the firewall of his awesomeness. Handy thing, sociopathic narcissism. Makes it possible to drone bomb half the f*cking Middle-East without a single declaration of war on any of the multiple sovereign nations he turns into rubble, and still go to sleep at night sure they don’t mind. Also helps you sleep at night when you make yourself judge, jury, and executioner of American citizens. Yup. Sure is nifty to be Bam-Bam.

Then Senator Barack Obama, May 18, 2008, on the campaign trail in Oregon:

“They don’t pose a serious threat to us… If Iran ever tried to pose a serious threat to us, they wouldn’t stand a chance.”

He based this gem of foreign policy reasoning on the observation that they are a “tiny” little country.

Uh-huh.

Guess he never factored in waiting for the Mahdi, dramatic advances in computer chips & GPS guided technology and how the whole smack is one hell of a lot cheaper and easier to get now than it was in the 1980’s (When the Soviet Union loomed large, which he cited as the last time we faced a real threat from a real country.)

But… Annie… He’s super-smart so he couldn’t possibly be this facile in his understanding of the world, right? Plus, he said this waaaaay back… in… 2008…

I swear to God you cannot make this stuff up.

Do I need to even bring up what would happen in Palin or Cain said this?

MSNBC’s Morning Joe opened this morning taking broad swipes at the GOP field for being foreign-policy-feckless, and furthering their point by insisting that we must have sound foreign policy judgement in the next President – like Obama’s…

In a 2002 Chicago speech – organized, by the way, by his radical friends Marilyn Katz, Bernadine Dohrn, & Bill Ayers – Obama called Iraq the ‘dumb’ war and Afghanistan the ‘good’ war. Bam-Bam’s been dining out on that speech as the shining jewel of his FP chops ever since. Over the weekend we learn, that this GENIUS-of-Foreign-Policy-Judgement has led us to the following:

1. IRAQ: OBAMA’s cynically political decision to have the Iraqi troops 100% home for Christmas will likely result in the worst kind of back-sliding, VERY likely redounding to the benefit of IRAN. Even lefty analyists say so. Result? Yet another enemy of Israel emboldened THANKS TO OBAMA.

2. AFGHANISTAN: Hamid Karzai just told the world that Afghanistan will choose Pakistan as their ally AGAINST the United States should there be a need to pick sides. Doesn’t matter, frankly, why or when we have to pick sides. The guy we spent 10 years trying to help in the war Obama APPROVED of, HATES US – LETHALLY. Not just diplomatic hate. Take up arms and KILL YOU hate.

So! Obama was 180 degrees WRONG about BOTH of the big ticket wars we have on the ground he’s been PREENING he’s been so RIGHT about since 2002.

There’s nothing Herman Cain lacks in judgement, as a man, as a leader, to make SOUND Foreign Policy judgement that he can’t learn in a briefing book.

Obama’s problem is EXACTLY the OPPOSITE: There aren’t enough briefing books in the world to help him – he’s too arrogant, too prison-bound in his ideology.

Sorry, Mika.

And do we even need to pick the scab of how he’s directly treated England? Or Israel? When you consider that England & Israel have traditionally been America’s strongest and most important allies, and the unutterably shabby way he has treated them – IT’S LAUGHABLE that Obama’s FP judgement is admirable.