19/10/2014

They say there are plenty more fish in the sea. But that's no good. No one wants to make love to a fish. Not even another fish. In the fish world the female spew out some eggs and then the male jizzes on those eggs. It's a great way to breed without contracting an STI, but you wouldn't believe the looks you get from a woman when you suggest it.

Anyway, the end of one relationship can be a tricky time, but one enterprising chap found a way to quickly move on.

A man in the UK used eBay to find a girl to replace his ex. He was really breaking the trend there. Normally if a man wants to find another woman to replace the ex he goes online to spend some money, but not on eBay.

He was looking for a woman to go with him on holiday. IT technician Jake Dodridge had booked a romantic £650 trip with his long-term girlfriend, but just before the trip she left him. So he took to the auction site to find someone to go with him. It's a shame there wasn't a website where he could just sell the tickets to the highest bidder and make the money back. Oh well.

His listing said: "This isn't something I would normally do, but when life gives you lemons you have to make lemonade."

God, that phrase again. You don't. You really don't. We live in a time of plenty, feel free to throw the lemons away. Or at the very least don't add sugar too them and drink them. That land of plenty is also the cause of our diabetes.

He added: "It's not about making money, I just want someone to go with so the holiday will go to the highest bidder. It will be a great first date." Yes. And also last one.

But he put the ad on eBay with a starting price of 99p. So far still no bids. Wow. And his girlfriend left a catch like that?

Still, if he can't get a new woman on eBay he could try Amazon, as long as he's into really talk chicks.