Colossal Squid

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Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni (“Meso” to his bros) is the largest species of squid in terms of sheer, nightmarish mass. Forget that crappy giant squid; the colossal squid doesn’t just have pissy little teeth on the insides of its tentacles, it has three-pointed swivelling hooks. All the better to reach out from the abyssal depths and take you away with. Which it could. An average human is only marginally bigger than one of it eyes -- the largest eyes in the animal kingdom.