Brexit

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example, HOLY SHIT the Prime Minister quit, the UK and eu are both falling apart, and the economic shock will plunge the west into the dark ages!!!1

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If Britain must choose between Europe and the open sea, she must always choose the open sea.

Brexit is the righteous, democratic vote of millions of people deciding that they don't want their country being run by libtards in the corrupt European Jewnion. Despite nations leaving the EU being an unprecedented phenomenon, the media lied that it would ruin Britain and the global economy forever and tried to get everyone to vote Remain, so that the British people can still be controlled by pandering globalists.

History has proven time and time again that Britain can survive on its own, while other countries fester and get taken over by muslimes. Before joining the EU, British people had many events to be proud of, including being on the winning side of WW2 and showing those pesky krauts who's boss. They colonised Australia, Africa and many other countries and after changing them to not being complete shitholes, climbed the highest mountains, generated much wealth, and possessed history's largest empire.

None of these things could possibly be accomplished with all European peoples collectively squabbling for attention and recognition. The British people were being told time and time again that things like sovereignty and national pride shouldn't matter in 2019 and should instead care about irrelevant subjects like refugees and trannies.

When Britain decided that enough is enough, the non-EU world rejoiced as a once proud and successful country broke the shackles of the EU and began its path of not allowing itself to turn to shit, like Turkey, Romania and Poland. Many other countries such as the Netherlands, France and Italy have also spoken out, saying that the referendum has been a historic day for freedom and democracy, and are slowly getting out of the mindset that they are just a small fish in the big, polluted sea that is the EU.

Britain was a force to be reckoned with before the EU. They were on the winning side of both world wars, colonialized 1/3 of the world and set up Governments in places where poverty was rife. India is now able to govern itself thanks to Britain, and can perform many important roles, like technical assistance phone operators.

After being tricked by Europeans who wanted in on the action, they agreed to join the EU, believing that they would be able to keep valuable assets like nationalism, strength and control. Instead it brought liberalism and multiculturalism to the island, thus allowing millions of niggers and pakis to come to the UK to have free healthcare and live off benefits in mansions.

As time moved on, the will of the people was gradually ground down to dust, and believed that there was no way of controlling things such as borders, the economy and law.

Nothing of interest really happened, besides a load of immigrants being allowed to enter Britain and "coincidentally", the crime rate skyrocketed. There was also a perfectly British campaign to prevent the EU from forcing Britain to abandon Imperial measurements (in operation since about 1200 AD) and completely change over to metric (invented by Johnny Frog, Last Thursday, and forced on everyone else). Srsly, a bunch of English market-stallholders fought the Government through every court in the land for a decade over what system they used to weigh carrots. In the end, the EU realised that even if it won the legal battle it would lose the hearts and minds of the British, who don't complain when they get fucked over as long as it's done fair and square. So as a result, the following utterly retarded measurements are still legally valid in Britain:

Bad move, EU. By allowing a tiny bit of flexibility to the rules of EU membership, the fatcats of Brussels unknowingly gave the green light to every other single-issue crank in the country, the sort of nitwit who thinks he can rely on obscure clauses of the Magna Carta when contesting a parking fine in court, and so the great European rollback began.

The British people were drowned in propaganda and advice from people who only care about profits and don't give a shit if the UK goes brown. The polls had said that a Remain vote was certain, and the British people would be controlled once more. Even on the day, the eventual savior of Britain had admitted that the opposition was just too heavy for them to defeat, and expected a Remain vote.

Jo Cox was a pro-EU politician that no one cared about until she was assassinated by a lunatic. The Left was quick to proclaim her a martyr for the pro-EU cause in hopes that it would guilt-trip voters into voting Remain. When that failed, the crybullies started claiming that Leave voters were remorseless bastards who should be ashamed that they voted with their brains instead of with guilt-filled hearts.

After rejecting the advice of globalists and zionist big businesses, the people of Britain decided to take back what they deserved and left the sinking ship of the EU. Ragequitting like a 13 year old, David Cameron announced that he would resign, as he knew that he wouldn't be able to take bribes from big business if he couldn't control the people.
As was completely expected, the pound fell in value, opening the doorway to an increase in exports and not having to be held back by EU rules. The economy of the world also fell as well, as the Jews had expected to carry on controlling the Brits, and didn't bother to make a backup plan if this failed.

Hilariously, almost all of Scotland had voted to remain in the EU, showing their complete disregard to its once proud history. Angered that they had voted to stay in the UK, but democracy had happened, they are now threatening the leave the UK, despite the fact that no-one cares anymore.

They haven't realised yet that due to the slow bureaucracy of the EU, it will take them many years to get back in the EU, as currently they are classed as out.

There is also less of a chance of Scotland leaving the UK but staying in the EU, as this would mean that other countries can break away from each other. In other words, Spain will likely veto this as it would give Catalonia a chance of breaking away from Spain.

Northern Ireland had also largely voted remain, with the rest of Ireland thinking it might have a chance to take it over, but this is been ruled out and N. Ireland will stay with the UK.

The Falkland Islands, justifiably fearing that Argentina will fuck them up if they voted out, chose to vote remain, but were calmed down when the UK reminded them that if Argentina dares threaten them again, the UK will own the Argies once more.

Additionally, Gibraltar had voted remain (likely due to the fact that most of the people are Spanish), which is surprising because many people had forgotten that it even exists and was part of the UK in the first place. Like Ireland, Spain has made a vain attempt to take over Gibraltar, but will likely back down because no-one wants another Falklands War.

For the first time in their life, many liberals actually experienced something not going their way, and promptly went apeshit. Some shouted that this was a fix, and other shouted that every leave voter was a racist, despite there being many other reasons for leaving the EU. If you ever need evidence of liberals being bad losers, here it is.

Well, of course there's a petition, this is the fucking internet. This one is on the British Government's official site and has gathered about 50bn signatures in 24 hours, giving the impression of a growing public backlash against the Brexit vote. This makes Brexit sad. In fact, the whole thing has been rigged by 4chan, using sooper-dooper voting scriptbotthingamyjigs to ruin the petition with ineligible votes. This makes anti-Brexit sad. It makes everyone else do a lulz and Parliament is going to have to debate the petition without knowing whether it's for real or not.

The old mediasmelled a rat when 39,411 votes were cast from Vatican City (total population around 800), 23,778 from North Korea (where you need background checks and have to wait in a three-month queue just to check your email), and 3,000 from South Georgia and the Sandwich Islands (no permanent population at all).

The prime minister of Poland has demanded that Britain holds another referendum to make sure the first one got the right result. In other words, he doesn't want the >800,000 Polacks currently enjoying the high-life in the UK to come back to gloriousPoland, where there is already ten per cent unemployment (which is why the vodka-swilling pickle-munching retards left there in the first place).

Brexiters who are excited over the prospect of getting rid of that pesky European Court of Human Rights are in for a nasty shock, as it has nothing to do with the EU, but is a structure of the Council of Europe, of which Britain is still a member.

Having spent the last few years complaining about White privilege meaning no-one spots racism, the assorted duskies and darkies of Britain are now writing condescending "Dear White People, thanks for noticing" posts on Twitterbook about how the complete opposite of what they were claiming to be the case instead proves that they were right all along.

Sneaky rat-like Romanian families are offering to adopt baawwwwing UK libs, and the thieving gypsies will no doubt make a tidy profit on the affair. This suits everyone just fine, as Romania cannot guarantee that applicants will get dual citizenship and then the applicant will have spent hundreds of pounds just to end up having to choose between ending up trapped as a paying lodger to a family of hillbillies in a cold, dogshit-strewn hellhole, or moving to Romania.