Best ways to cope with training

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Midshipman

Hi I'm back again. Since I posted on here a while back I was having a really rough time with anxiety but thankfully I'm pleased to say that I have improved significantly

The problem began around July and just got steadily worse and simply found coming in my RNR unit to be too much for me. I am now wanting to return to training since we are now into a new year.

The problem remains however, that I'm not somebody who is terrifically thick skinned and take matters to heart when I'm shouted at and can feel very hurt. This is largely due to the aftermath of experiences I had in my first job after leaving school where I just could not do anything right in some of my colleagues' eyes, including my team leader, and I'd be berated in front of my other work mates and made to feel useless and humiliated. I think the main problem has been owing to that, when you take into account how training is delivered when you join the Navy and why I haven't been able to make the same kind of progress as some of the others because I just fear it coming.

Does anybody here have any idea how best to conquer this or could offer any words of wisdom or advice please?

War Hero

Midshipman

What advice have you provided exactly, apart from 2 words that mean **** all?! You haven't got a ******* clue about who I am as a person or what experiences I've had to deal with throughout my life. If it was as easy as just flicking a ******* switch and "manning up" as you so cleverly put it, do you thick I wouldn't have done that already. And as for being unwilling to take it, I am not willing to take it from a window licking c u n t like you!!

War Hero

Look, I'm going to sound really harsh here, but the problem is you and not the Navy.

At the end of the day your ultimate job in the military is to be ready to go into places where you may have to kill someone, or work in deeply challenging and very frightening situations where a lot of things will happen at once and where if you get it wrong, people, most likely friends of yours may well die.

If you feel that you don't like people shouting at you, then working in a place like a damage control training simulator in flooding and fires, or working in a section attack as you prepare for an operational deployment training is going to come as a real shock. The military is a culture based on having absolute trust and faith that the person to your left and right isnt' going to be the person who gets them all killed. If they don't have that faith then they will be robust in saying so.

My very very very strong advice to you is that right now, the military is not for you. I would go away, do something like DofE or other similar training and get yourself some life confidence. The military isn't the place to come to in order to fix your own pyschological problems, it can help you be a better person, but it sounds and feels like your issues are so deep rooted that this is beyond the ability of the military to fix.

Please, go and get professional help and come back when you are ready - I can assure you that if a very gentle new entry class is making you anxious now, RALEIGH and other training will break you mentally. Please don't do yourself more harm because you sound and come across as a genuinely vulnerable person who needs help that the military cant give you.

War Hero

What advice have you provided exactly, apart from 2 words that mean **** all?! You haven't got a ******* clue about who I am as a person or what experiences I've had to deal with throughout my life. If it was as easy as just flicking a ******* switch and "manning up" as you so cleverly put it, do you thick I wouldn't have done that already. And as for being unwilling to take it, I am not willing to take it from a window licking c u n t like you!!

I was going to delete that for your own sake, but instead I think you need to understand how the RN works. Paging @Montigny-La-Palisse and @alfred_the_great to the thread to give you cuddles and words of advice.

Lantern Swinger

@SDB0509 Hi, I don't know whether you'll take this advice or not but I used to be like you, always worried, always taking things to heart. I realised at the time the Navy was not the right thing for me at that particular time. Being within the Navy requires a very thick skin! The reason people are the way they are is because in situation where the **** hits the fan, they need to band together. The way that people get by in such a high pressure environment is by taking the piss! It's by having friendly 'banter' (FYI I hate that word).
What I would suggest is you asking yourself whether this is the right choice for you right now. I left 5 years ago, now I'm more able to deal with all the pisstaking and dark humour (I work within the NHS!).
Just something to mull over.

Midshipman

I was going to delete that for your own sake, but instead I think you need to understand how the RN works. Paging @Montigny-La-Palisse and @alfred_the_great to the thread to give you cuddles and words of advice.

If you haven't already, you needn't trouble yourself. That guy just pissed me off. I'm soon to be leaving this thread and to be honest I'm thankful that somebody has finally had the courage to tell me what I suspected the whole time and confirmed why I'd been so doubtful.

It felt as though he was simply taking the piss out of what I said, which I do not appreciate.

War Hero

MIA

SDB0509 said: ↑
What advice have you provided exactly, apart from 2 words that mean **** all?! You haven't got a ******* clue about who I am as a person or what experiences I've had to deal with throughout my life. If it was as easy as just flicking a ******* switch and "manning up" as you so cleverly put it, do you thick I wouldn't have done that already. And as for being unwilling to take it, I am not willing to take it from a window licking c u n t like you!!

It goes against the grain for me to agree with Purple Twiglet, but on the occasion I have to. Your rant, in reply to what would be a frequent comment in the RN, says you are not in a good place, mentally, to consider any of the Forces, either Regular or Reserves as an option at this time.

You need to be careful in insulting dapperdunn, his branch of the service are reputed to have killed more than any other!