Campaigners call for national register of MPs

Local activists around the country are demanding the establishment of a National Politicians Register that is made available to the public. Recent research has estimated the number of MPs in the UK as at least 646, causing many to worry that political activity could be happening on their doorsteps.

Campaign leader Michael Carlisle explained ‘These people are by nature devious and evasive. They will never give a straight answer to a question; they mislead the public, claim inflated expenses, send malicious emails and very rarely show any sense of remorse. We need protecting from these people, if you can call them that. The public has a right to know if one is living in the middle of their community.’

The problem is made worse by the fact that many of them own two houses, causing worry and distrust in not one but two neighbourhoods. But human rights group Liberty has attacked the plans, insisting that even MPs have a right to go about their business in privacy, if any of them really want to. ‘Having an MP living near to you shouldn’t be a problem anyway’ added director Shami Chakrabarti; ‘If you want to know what they’re up to, just produce a camera or a microphone and they’ll soon emerge from hiding. In any case, they tend to knock on your door themselves once every five years so just make a note of what they look like then and try to steer clear of them.’

Another possibility being considered is thought to be a watered down version of the scheme whereby individuals can check the register to see if prospective partners are MPs before moving in with them. One man, who wanted to remain anonymous, agreed ‘I’d never have moved in with my partner if I’d known she was a politician, or at least I’d have made sure I didn’t claim for porn on her expense account.’