When Is an Apology Not an Apology?

When it comes from a radio talk-show host who’s hemorrhaging sponsors and trying to cover his ample backside. After his feeble attempt at an apology on Saturday went over like a lead balloon, Rush Limbaugh began his show on Monday with another try. I suppose to his loyal followers and those who may have been listening for the first time after Slutgate blew up, it might have been acceptable and believable, but for those who have heard him before, not so much.

Rush began this version of his non-apology by saying that his major error was in descending to the level of those who are willing “to say anything or do anything to advance their agenda”–something that he would never ordinarily do (chortle, chortle). Then he repeated the phrase “those two words” five times:

“Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong I descended to their level when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke. That was my error. I became like them, and I feel very badly about that. I’ve always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program. Nevertheless, those two words were inappropriate. They were uncalled for. They distracted from the point that I was actually trying to make, and I again sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for using those two words to describe her. I do not think she is either of those two words. I did not think last week that she is either of those two words.”

So I guess the part about Ms. Fluke posting sex videos on the internet wasn’t out of bounds? OK then.

That was as close to an apology as he got. From there it became a diatribe against the “socialist agenda” of President Obama and his Democratic allies in Congress who wanted to steer the direction of Darrell Issa’s Oversight Committee hearing away from its original intent of Obama’s unconstitutional attack on the Catholic Church, and make the hearing all about contraception. This was the goal because, according to Rush, “Obama is sorely hurting with women in preelect polls.” Not any more, Rush. Thanks to you and your Republican buddies:

“It’s looking like President Barack Obama may be back in the good graces of women. His support dropped among this critical constituency just before the new year began and the presidential campaign got under way in earnest. But his standing with female voters is strengthening, polls show, as the economy improves and social issues, including birth control, become a bigger part of the nation’s political discourse.

Then Rush launched into yet another personal attack on Sandra Fluke. She may not be a slut and a prostitute, but she’s a liar:

“Sandra Fluke gave vague examples based on unnamed friends who she says couldn’t afford birth control to treat medical conditions they had, since Georgetown University wouldn’t pay for them. Georgetown paid for all of their other medical treatment, but it wouldn’t pay for the birth control pills that these doctors prescribed should they be necessary — or so she says. We still don’t know who any of these friends of hers are, these other women, and we don’t know what happened to them. Her testimony was hearsay, and it was unprovable.

[…]

So Sandra Fluke, a 30-year-old birth control activist gives unverified and inexpert testimony about how Georgetown’s long-standing and public policy has hurt her unnamed friends. And let’s be clear on something else. I haven’t called Georgetown to see if they pay for birth control pills when being used to treat her medical conditions. I have no idea if they do or don’t.”

A liar who should have gone to school somewhere else:

“Georgetown is a Jesuit University. It’s Jesuits, run by the Jesuits, which are a Catholic order of priests. Their policy on birth control is not exactly a secret. It’s not given to you in a sealed envelope after you sign up. It’s out there for everybody to see. It’s a Catholic university! Everybody that goes to there knows. Miss Fluke stated on occasion she went there specifically to change the policy. If birth control insurance is important to you as an enrolling student, and you find out that Georgetown doesn’t offer it, you might want to attend (or work at) a school that isn’t run by Catholics. I mean, just a thought.”

So by that logic, James Meredith shouldn’t have applied for admittance to the University of Mississippi. He knew their policy was ‘whites only.’ He should have just gone to a school that wasn’t run by racists. Just a thought.

Rush’s one-time lapse in judgment was also the fault of the Cybercast News Service:

“The story at the Cybercast News Service characterized a portion of her testimony as sounding like (based on her own financial figures) she was engaging in sexual activity so often she couldn’t afford it. I focused on that because it was simple trying to persuade people, change people’s minds.”

Then after 10 minutes of shirking responsibility and accountability, Rush closed with this:

“I am huge on personal responsibility and accountability…”

Nice try, big guy. I’m looking forward to Apology Part III. Coming soon to a radio station near you.