Hi there. Name's Jon. Thanks for clicking. Back in the Bay Area for at least a few months.

I require a regular beach to take a regular long walk on. Also was (am) a fat kid, and never lost the love of great food.

I was raised deep in the Midwest (rural Chicago), where the land is sold in acres and the horses, cows, and chickens outnumber people. Lived in various places: Berkeley, Tokyo, Seattle, LA...it seems I move every couple of years.

What I’m doing with my life

In life? Trying to find a purpose, or rather, trying to determine if there actually is one. Attempting to find stability and balance, and for one reason or another, both have eluded me. Goddamn unicorns.

I’m really good at

Eating. You can take a boy out of the farm, but not the farm out of the boy. I have the amount I normally eat, and then the amount I eat when I'm at a buffet. Captain, we need to expand the stomach linings!

Finding pleasure in the mundane. Like how highlighting stuff on OkCupid turns everything blue. It's the little things.

The first things people usually notice about me

It's not my eyes. They're kinda a dark brown/black so it all blends together and looks like a pool of tar. They have been lasik'd, but no one notices that except for me.

It's not my height.

It's not my shyness that turns into gregarious sociability once I get to know you (I would be worried if this wasn't true for most people).

It's not my smile. Re: profile pic.

I don't change my clothes with the seasons; the seasons change to fit what I'm wearing.

I love sour foods, so when life gives me lemons, I use them to zest up a dish or sometimes as a nice garnish with seafood.

What it would be like to play Mozart's piano concerto No. 10 with Mitsuko Uchida.

What it would be like to have a normal schedule and sleep when everyone else does.

I often wonder about beets. They're dirt fruit. It's as if they started growing and then halfway just said, "Fuck it, I'm going to use dirt as my flavor." I liked them once in this wonderful salad, but then feared I was excreting blood...so yeah.

I just stayed up till 4AM yesterday looking at Groupons for liposuction. I believe that says something about my life, but I don't know what.

On a typical Friday night I am

Perhaps writing, locked away in my tower of words.

Perhaps out on the town, seeing what new places there are to try.

Perhaps at home, my hands sweaty from trying to beat a tough game.

Perhaps at the gym, working off all that I ate earlier.

Perhaps with...

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I love to dance naked when I'm alone. And I don't know how to dance. I also dance in the gym while lifting, but not naked.

I'm not a grammar nazi, but I do appreciate people who put effort into the English language.

I have an extremely childish sense of humor. If you think Glitteris is one of the best band/child names, we'll get along.

If I'm listening to the Charlie's Angels theme while running, I will have my hands clasped together making a gun, pretending I'm Cameron Diaz chasing a bad guy.

I love the film Batman & Robin. Nobody does drag like Uma Thurman.

You should message me if

The fact that you got to the bottom means that hopefully I've kept your interest and possibly piqued it a bit. Now all you need to do is move the mouse down a few pixels and click on that Message button and see what comes of it. I think there's also that bar that scrolls down with my profile that you can type in. Marvelous technology!