Pillowtalk is real

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Remember in 2012, when David Patraeus resigned as Director of the CIA? The married four-star general was doing it with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, and after a crazy government investigation, it was discovered that Mr. Central Intelligence was not only feeding his mistress his dick but also top secret info. Which begs the question—how good was the sex that he’d sell out his country? Well, a new study found that any sex can get people to overshare information. So spies and shady people BEWARE!

Recently, a study with a title so clever you’d think it was published in Hustler was released in the journal, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The study’s name—“Sex Unleashes Your Tongue.”

The pillowtalk study said that sex gets people to reveal their secrets, no matter how dark or classified, and that pillowtalk will happen whether or not you know your lover well or even like them.

“Sex Unleashes Your Tongue” was a collection of three sex studies that examined why sexual stimuli versus non-sexual stimuli opened up strangers to have revealing conversations. The studies all involved single, straight male and female college students in their 20s and was performed by the same group of Israeli researchers.

The first study divided 39 men and 39 women into two groups, “sexual priming” and “neutral priming.” The sexual primed people were shown erotic (but sadly not pornographic) pictures, and the neutral primed group were literally shown pictures of fish. Then the undergrads were told to start instant messaging strangers of the opposite sex. The study found that the sexually primed group turned out to be the biggest blabbermouths compared to the fish-watchers.

The second study took 41 women and 41 men and divided them the same way as before. The researchers showed the sexual primed group a steamy part from Original Sin, the super boring period piece starring Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie, which was only redeemed by one really good scene of the two of them boning in a bed. The neutral group was shown what nearly everyone watches on the internet that’s not porn—cat videos. Super fucking amazing cat videos. Then they met with a stranger and were told to reveal a personal embarrassing event. Just like before, the people who saw the erotic images were prone to spill more details.

The third study had students watch either a video of a couple kissing or a video of a couple hanging out in an intimate way without touching. For this study, the researchers wanted to know if there was a difference between sexual priming and intimacy priming, and like before, participants spilled the beans when they watched erotic actions. So note to self, just hanging out with people is not enough to get them to reveal any secrets.

So what’s the big lesson to all of this? David Patreaus and anyone in his position should never, ever, ever have sex or watch Original Sin. For everyone else, prepare to learn more about your lover than you probably care to know.