Generally, bassoon players have very little luck in love and very little action in bed. This word can define a player's personality, or be used as an insult, when said to someone very much the same way Bugs Bunny says "What a maroon!"

Trombonist: "You're such a dork."
Clarinetist: "At least I've got a girlfriend, you bassoon."
Trombonist: "Ouch, no need to get nasty."

The world's coolest instrument. Sounds like a dying duck fart, unless you know how to play. Which I do, so boo-yah. Also, as I've been told many many many many times, it looks like a bong. OK, I get it, move on with your life already.

Random Guy: Hehe... did you know your instrument looks like a bong?

Me: yes, the past 5 people to walk past have said that. But that still doesn't mean you can put drugs in it, you disrespectful bassoon killer.

A bassoon is a musical instument that some say looks like a bong. Traditionally, it's made of wood, but they can be made of this crappy plastic stuff. (plastic bassoons don't sound near as nice as the wooden ones.)

Bassoons produce a dark rich tone in the hands of an experienced player. However, anyone else sounds like they're killing a large beast.

A large wooden double reeded instrument that is often mistaken for an oboe by people that have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Or, someone is resembling it to a bong. i have heard on numerous occasions, "farting bed post" and "potato shooter" the bassoon is by far the worlds most unique instrument and by far the coolest. eventhough it gets hated on much more than any other instrument.. ever. that is because everyone else is jealous.
this instrument produces a deep rich sound that if played incorrectly can sound like something is dying. which is why the majority of people should not play it. for in the wrong hands it sounds awful. in good hands of a skilled musician it has a beautiful sound. as long as its a wooden bassoon, they make them in plastic for student musiciains, i don't reccomend it.
the bassoon has 13 thumb keys. its rather intense and you really have to have skillful fingers to play a bassoon.
especially since you have to get used to holding some holes half way.
the bassoon is a base clef instrument that really brings in a quality base sound to the orchastra.

if you're looking at someone who is a bassoonist beware they're quick and will most likely kick your ass. That is if you harass the instrument they've spent way too many hours trying to perfect.
fantasia The Sorceer's Apprentice (with mickey mouse)
the main melody is all bassoon baby

joey: hey check out that huge pipe thing.
amy: thats an oboe i think...
kelsi: no dummy its a bassoon

probably the best instrument ever.
not a dying duck, but a cool thing.
very hard to play.
must be good at blowing and moving fingers fast.
also you loose breath fast and it's very expensive.
makes people jealous.

The larger of the two standard double reed instruments in the orchestra. It resembles a Victorian bedpost and one must have double jointed thumbs to play it! It can play in the bass range, however it's most lyrical range is in the tenor.

A large, very complicated bass woodwind instrument. Extremely frustrating to learn and even harder to master. Most who attempt give up because thumbs are not meant to move as fast as is needed to play it.
It is thought to have been designed by the devil himself.