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Monthly Archives: October 2012

There’s a serious problem I encounter ALL THE FUCKING TIME and it drives me crazy: So many people have depression or anxiety or anger that is making them and the people around them miserable, but they say that therapy and medications “didn’t work.” These are people who have the monetary means to help themselves but instead give up and live a lower-quality life. And, let me stress again, this isn’t just screwing yourself over, but also the other people who have to interact with you.

The thing about therapists and medications is, you have to test a bunch of them, before you will find one that works. This seems so obvious to me but too many people just DON’T GET IT! You can’t just give up or you might as well not have started in the first place. It’s a process!

There are so many shitty therapists out there and you have keep trying until you find a good one. And it takes a while. And it can be a pain in the ass. But you owe it to yourself to make that effort for your own wellbeing. Therapists are happy to have an evaluation session the first time, and they wont be insulted if you call back afterwards and say it’s not a fit for you. Even if you’ve had the same therapist for weeks or years: If it’s not helping you, you need to extract yourself from that situation because that’s time you could be spending with someone who WOULD help you. When you find the right one, you will know.

Same with medications. There’s a bunch of different ways that medications work, and a bunch of different ways that people’s bodies and minds work. Surprise! they don’t always match up. That’s why you need to keep trying different things until you find a match. Also, medications sometimes take a couple months to start working, so you can’t just take one for a few weeks and say “this isn’t working.” Similarly, you can’t take it for a few months and say, “it worked! I feel fine!” and then stop taking it. You have to stick with it for a while to fully benefit from the effects. If your medication works well but has a side effect you don’t like, you can add another on top to fix the side effect. The place to get a prescription is your primary care physician. Don’t go to a psychiatrist. If your doctor wants to refer you to one, fine, but generally your doctor will have a better idea of what you need.

Medication works to make you less miserable quickly, so that you can get your ass out of bed and to your therapist. Your therapist teaches you to deal with your problems in the long term so you can eventually get off the medication (ideally. Some people have permanent chemical imbalances that have to be constantly regulated).

I’ve been through this shit. At my lowest point, about 3 years ago, I was having debilitating panic attacks ALL DAY. I couldn’t enjoy anything. It sucked SO BAD. But now I’m chillin’ because I found the right therapy and drugs (I’m now not in therapy any more and I’m on half the dose of drugs that I started with).

Some people say they don’t want to medicate themselves because they don’t want to lose their personality, they’re afraid the medication will take over. Well, the truth is, if you are miserable, that is not your personality. That’s a shittier version of yourself and the medication will BRING BACK your personality.

There are plenty of low or no-cost options out there for therapy including free clinics and schools. Just google it. Similarly check out this article for advice on how to get cheap or free medication.

My current alarm clock ring on my cellphone is “The Sign” by Ace of Base, so we hear it every morning at 7:35AM (and 3 more times after that because I never get up til I’ve used up all my snoozes).

At the beginning of the song, the girl sings something unintelligible that isn’t listed in any lyrics I’ve found, and Gentleman Caller insists that she’s saying “I’m gonna bone you!”

Gentleman Caller: im watching a programming video by a guy who sounds like the geico gecko so im imagining a friendly gecko is showing me how to use this application
Readthisbitch: aww how nice!
GC: also i watched the music video of ‘the sign’
GC: its like……. 5 wtfs per second
R: really lmao
GC: i dont know what i expected lol
R: did u find out what those lyrics are
GC: IM GONNA BONE YOU
GC: no
GC: but she says them with a steely conviction
R: lmao ok i have to watch this
GC: wear your shoulder pads lol

If you don’t know, LARP stands for Live Action Role Play (the kind of thing you see at Renaissance fairs and in that movie Rolemodels). It’s based on the game Dungeons and Dragons, which I’ve never played. I really didn’t know anything about LARPing before I did it, so I bet a lot of people are similarly bereft of this important knowledge. But who knows if you’ll ever go to a LARP yourself, so here is your window into that world.

I went to a weekend-long LARP last month– the details are specific to the one I went to; I’ve never been to any others so I don’t know if other LARP organizers do it differently.

Ok so we’re watching the presidential debate tonight and using certain drinking cues that we came up with, with the indispensable help of Facebook crowdsourcing and also a couple ideas taken from this.

I drive about the same speed relative to the speed limit wherever I go: up to 10-over if the speed limit is 50 or under, and up to 15-over if the speed limit is 55 or more. Yet, when I drive in New England I’m the fastest person on the road. And when I drive in New York or New Jersey, I’m the slowest person on the road!

People who drive slowly in the left lane and refuse to move over when I’m behind them can really just go suck a dick. Especially if they trap me by driving the exact same speed as someone next to them in the right lane so I can’t pass either of them. Also, people who drive slow on one-lane roads: If I’m riding your ass, which I will if you’re going too slow for me, you should pull the fuck over and let me go. That’s what I do when someone tailgaits me. It’s the safest and most convenient solution.

Fuck pedestrians. Even when I am a pedestrian I am a “self-hating pedestrian” (my BF coined that expression). Like, if I’m walking and I need to cross the street, I try to wait until there are no cars coming, letting them all go by. My thinking is, it’s easier for me to wait half a second for a car to pass by than for them to brake and wait 15 seconds while I cross the road. Often times while I’m trying to wait and let cars go, some other asshole on their phone/ipod walks past me into the crosswalk so the cars have to wait anyway 😦

In downtowns and cities, pedestrians are especially entitled, but I feel like this is partially due to drivers who enable them! Look: the rule is “Yield to pedestrians IN CROSSWALK”… the rule is not “Yield to pedestrians on the sidewalk who look like they might want to cross the road at some point in the next 5 minutes!” If they’re not in the crosswalk yet, I’m not yielding and if the driver in front of me does so, I will honk my horn fo sho.

Bicyclists; oh boy. I don’t object to bicycles as a mode of transportation. I appreciate that they’re a great way to use less resources and also get exercise and fresh air. But the CULTURE of bicyclists drives me crazy. It’s become a fashion statement, which is just stupid.

The reason I have this resentment towards bicyclists is that a lot of them have really HYPOCRITICAL road etiquette. They’re like, “I’m just like a car, so I can take up a whole car lane by riding my bike on the road instead of the sidewalk”… oh but also… “I’m not really a car, so I can whizz through red lights and stop signs, and then probably get pompous and self righteous if someone hits me with her car because she assumes a green light means it’s her turn”… and “I’m not really a car, so I can cross the road diagonally in heavy traffic without really looking both ways first,” and, “I’m not really a car, so I don’t have to yield to pedestrians (IN the crosswalk)”… When I see bikers do this I like to yell out the window: “You’re endangering yourself and others!”

Bike lanes are the best way to fix this problem, but if they’re not available I think bicyclists should ride on the sidewalk if there is one: it’s easier for them to move over for pedestrians on the sidewalk than for me, a driver, to go around them while they take up mad space in the CAR lane (often having to wait for traffic on the opposing lane to pass, so there is enough space). When I ride a bike I go on the sidewalk and it’s never a problem. A word to bicyclists: If you’re breaking a traffic law, and I mow you down, I’m not going to feel bad and I’m not going to get in legal trouble either. Just FYI. Watch yourself.