OmerChallenge: Day 22

Today is twenty-two days which are three weeks and one day in the Omer. Hayom shnayim v’esrim yom shehaym shloshah shavuot veyom echad la-omer.

Photos from your wedding

Why this one? There are plenty of pictures showing the beautiful bride, the happy couple, guests having fun. Heck, there’s even a picture of us signing our ketuba, parents and clergy looking on.

I like this one because, strangely enough, it’s almost completely anonymous. With a couple of exceptions, you can barely see a face. If I didn’t tell you it was my wedding, it could be almost anyone’s wedding.

First, I believe that weddings are a communal event. While they celebrate the coming together of two unique people, the event belongs to the collective memory of those who were there. The bride and groom may talk about that day the most (possibly. I’ve known some parents and in-laws who give them a run for their money), but there’s a universe of other perspectives swirling around that wedding hall. I wanted the picture I showed to somehow acknowledge that.

Second, by not showing (at least in such great detail) who was there, it’s easier to imagine people who weren’t there but should have been. We had 200 guests at our wedding and there were still people we would have liked to have present. And, of course, people who were no longer able to attend. This photo, for me at least, opened the (admittedly imaginary) possibility that everyone that I wanted to have there, was.

Finally, I have a particular bias. I think a wedding is, by and large, a really bad way to start a marriage. A lot of that can be chalked up to the American culture of consumerism and expectations, but some of it stems from simple human dynamics that have been around since the dawn of time. “Grammy Margaret would just die if her granddaughter didn’t wear her wedding veil” (and other statements like that) are phrases heard too often and carry far too much weight in the minds of young couples trying to forge their own lives together. A wedding is just a moment, but for many it is a moment that must – against all logic – be representative of the life to come. Few people can emotionally step back from that edge and let the wedding be simple the first moment of many. It has to be THE moment. So again, the generic nature of this image suits me. At least for this post.