Saturday, March 11, 2006

All Life is Equal? Bullshit.

The former leader of Yugoslavia, Slobodan Milosevic, was found dead in his jail cell today. Please excuse me while I don't cry or act upset in any way.

Accused of sixty-six counts of crimes against humanity, war crimes, and genocide, I'm pretty ok with the fact that this jerkoff is no longer hanging around using my oxygen. People often say that every life is of equal value - I couldn't disagree more.

Recently here in Toronto, a police horse named Brigadier was rammed by some angry assface at a drive-thru ABM, breaking his front legs and making it necessary to kill him at the scene. If you can't control your frustration to the point where you'll drive into a police horse with a cop on top, you have serious problems and I don't think I'd like to be at Tim Horton's when they run out of your favorite flavor of donut. Had I the choice, both Milosevic and the dipshit who hit Brig would have been shot in the face and that horse would still be out there helping Const. Kevin Bradfield fight crime. Brigadier's life was much more valuable.

Things I Doubt: Ray Comfort & Kirk Cameron's ability to put together a decent argument...or a decent sandwich, for that matter; Oprah Winfrey's judgment about anything; Jenny McCarthy's anatomical conformity, by which I mean, I think she has neither a brain nor a heart; Jim Carrey's status as a Canadian - am I allowed to unilaterally decline that?; believers in acupuncture and their ability to accept that it is a fantasy; and the justness of a world where I am not rich for my truly amazing humor but Reality TV "stars" continue to rake in the cash.