Pardon me for being in a playful mood on this Friday, but it’s just one of those things.

Here are stories I’m NOT looking forward to reading from Camp Jupiter … again … because these angles have been written at least 200 times already.

— Adam Wainwright is in the best shape of his life, it’s just incredible, he feels 5 years younger, and he’s strong enough to take on Chris Carpenter and Matt Carpenter at the same time and knock them out.

— Waino watched video of himself pitching and discovered a flaw … and he’s fixed the flaw … and now he is reborn. The fountain of youth is supposedly in Florida, right? Well, Wainwright found it.

— And by the way, I hope all of this is true; it would be great to see Waiwright have a solid comeback season.

— Kolten Wong has matured.

— Carlos Martinez has matured.

— After a winter of intense introspection, and realizing that it takes a strong man to recognize that he must get better at his job …. Mike Matheny has changed.

— The Cardinals know that everyone is counting them out, and that they’re underdogs to the mighty Cubs, and no one is giving them a chance to overtake the Cubs, and everyone is picking them to finish behind the Brewers again … and because of this, the Cardinals have an “edge” about them … it is clear that they will take all of this disrespect and be motivated by the insults …. you know, just like 2016 (they won 86 games) and again in 2017 (they had 83 wins.)

— Two rookie relievers in camp were clocked throwing fastballs at 127 mph on the radar gun.

— Tyler O’Neil is strong. He has massive muscles that can rip the outfield fence down, with just one pull.

— Yadier Molina will catch fewer games this season, because he’s getting older and it’s important to keep him fresh … and everything will work out just swell … Yadier is good with the plan.

— Luke Gregerson really does throw hard as ever no matter what the radar gun says.

— Miles Mikolas, man of mystery, became a real pitcher over in Japan, where he discovered an ancient secret for throwing strikes … and hey did you know that the dude once ate a live lizard?

— The Cardinals brought back that one dude who was in camp last year … he can play outfield, and he can serve as a lefthanded reliever, and so this means they can save a roster spot by having him fill two positions, even if he’s not particularly skilled at either vocation. You know, whatshisname.

— Tommy Pham can see! He can REALLY SEE!

— This is the hardest working camp that Mike Matheny has ever seen.

— A visibly relaxed Mike Matheny is trying to have more fun.

— Luke Voit: did you know that he grew up in St. Louis?

— Entering his second full season as a Cardinal, Dexter Fowler is more comfortable … and is excited to take on a leadership role … and this is because he has gained wisdom and enlightenment and now understands The Cardinal Way.