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Friday, November 8, 2013

Diary Of A Man-Child 8/11/13

He had begun selling knives. His boss told him he was the one who could do it, could sell $10,000 worth of product in his first week, and he almost believed him. There was still a part of him that said, "This guy probably tells everyone that..." Oh well, he would try to sell that much, or die--okay, not that extreme--trying.
Today he had three appointments back-to-back-to-back. The first went off without a hitch: he showed the knives, made the speech, sold a few. Great.
The next house had dogs. He loved dogs. Apparently, the dogs loved him back. As soon as he got inside, the 10,000 pound pit bull got so excited she vomited. Then being a dog, she proceeded to eat the vomit.
"I've already seen this twice," the homeowner said. "Do you think you could speed this up?"
He did. Twenty minutes later, he was done, and ready to go to his next appointment. That wasn't scheduled for another hour.
"Have you waited long?" his next appointment asked an hour later.
"Only about five minutes," he said.
Inside, he began his presentation. The man he was presenting to had sold these knives over twenty years earlier, so they had fun comparing the products, seeing how they had changed over the years.
Then his dog vomited.
"Wow," his appointment said. "A dog vomiting while on a sales appointment? That never happens."
But it already had.