Designated Read: The human Dr. Teeth

Get well soon, Idaho football. The world is more interesting with you in it. (AP)

• In our dreams, this means they won't be able to afford to fire Robb Akey, ever, and he and his magnificent moustache can coach in windswept Moscow forever. It probably won't work out like that, but we had to look for some upside to Idaho going independent in football, didn't we?

• Monteé Ball was still not in that fight. Bret Bielema is sorry to disappoint any Monteé Ball haters out there, but says that two other non-Monteé Ball players were involved in the scuffle that reportedly led to Ball being assaulted earlier this month, but that Monteé Ball himself was not. Monteé Ball. (We're just doing some reps here to remember to type his name the new way.)

• Sunrise, sunset. Another Rose Bowl. Yawn.Oregon ticket sales slumping is way sadder to us than Minnesota ticket sales flailing, for some reason. We have only been to Autzen twice, but feel very strongly that whatever happens there should be watched by as many people as possible for as long as it exists. (Also, DUCK ON A MOTORCYCLE.)