God Is So Good

Hi everyone. This post is probably just going to be another quick update with new details. I’m so beyond exhausted at this point. It’s been a very very long day. We got up early to drive to Miami, waited there for a few hours to meet with the surgeon, spoke with him, set the date and time, got taken off meds, had another MRI done, waited for my parents to come back and get me…only to find out my mom had passed out many times from giving blood (in case I need more during surgery). Then coming home was terrible because of traffic. But we’re home now. All that to say, it’s been a very long day.

But it’s time for some good news, yes?

I think so.

1) I might get to go to part of camp. YAYAYAYAY! I am so stoked about this. I want to be there for the last night. So badly. It’s a big deal for the Juniors and Seniors on the last night. There’s a ceremony thing, and it’s when my grade officially becomes Seniors. There’s more to it than that…but yeah. I want to be there. And I might get to be. :)

2) My family is leaving early tomorrow morning for vacation. We weren’t sure if we’d be able to go, but my mom, dad, and I will be there until Monday. The boys will stay a little longer and then someone will take them home. We have this vacation (which is a family reunion with all of my dad’s side of the family) every year, and we always look forward to it. I’m really glad I’ll get to be with my family these next few days before surgery. It’ll be nice.

3) Here’s the big news: My surgery will be in Miami at 7:15AM this Tuesday (the 6th).

4) I asked my doctor if the tumor is big (he showed us the MRI scans and it looks…huge). I basically said, “Is the tumor really big? It looks big to me, but it’s not like I would know…” And his response? “It’s…uhh…it’s a very generous tumor.” AKA It’s big. But you know what he said after that? LET ME TELL YOU. His guess is that it’s not cancer. He doesn’t know for sure, of course. They probably won’t know until they get inside my head (pun intended) this Tuesday. But I’m liking this guess. Oh yes I am.

5) JW told me tonight that he loves me. I sent him a quick text asking something, and in it I said “love ya.” I never stopped loving him. I never stopped loving any of them. And I’ve told them all throughout everything. But when everything in life changes suddenly, it reminds you of what’s important. It’s important that they all know I love them, so I told him once again. And he said it back.

6) Your prayers and support are so amazing. I love you guys. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough.

7) I still don’t know about the address. I forgot to ask the doctor, so I’ll have to talk to my family about it over the weekend. My guess is that, if they say yes, we’ll just let you send it to the hospital once we get an address. But I’m not sure. Sorry, I’ve just got a lot of other things on my mind at this point. :)

8) God is SO good. He really is. He knew about this tumor from the moment it began growing. He’s protected me so well. He sees the big picture in all this. I don’t. And I trust Him. He knows what He’s doing. Only He can heal me, and I trust that He will. I’m so grateful that He’s given me this platform to speak for Him. I love Him and trust Him just as much as I did before we found out on Wednesday. I’m not scared. I’m not going to waste my time worrying. He’s got it all under control. Worrying will do me no good. He makes me happy. I’m okay, guys. I really am. I just want to enjoy these days and make sure everyone knows I love them and care about them.

Do me a favor tonight, will you? Tell those you love that you love them. You never know when life will get flipped upside down. You don’t know how much time you have left with them. So cherish them while you can.

I just found your blog through the blogfrog and am so amazed by the way you are depending and trusting completely in God during this time. Keep following Him, girl! Praying for you as you have your surgery on Tuesday. Lots of love from Texas!

Your strength amazes me. I’m in absolute awe of you and I’m positive that you are going to be absolutely fine. You will be in my thoughts next week. I hope you have an amazing time with your family this weekend! Big hugs, lady!

Maureen
on July 2, 2010 at 8:44 pm

I was reading blogs earlier and happened upon yours! I’m really amazed at how you are dealing with this, and your whole attitude.

Lots of people older than you wouldn’t be handling this as well as you!

Just wanted to drop in and say that you will be in my prayers and I will definitely tell the people I love, that I love them:]

A book for the broken hopefuls… Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between