Tag Archives: kiss me

“When I saw him put his hands on your face I wanted to yell at him not to touch you, because that’s my face. But I couldn’t because that wouldn’t have ended well.”

That one sentence the Russian told me Wednesday night made me catch my breath. It was the first time in a while he voiced his feelings for me. The reason he said that was because he had been in the same place as the boyfriend and I had been Saturday night.

After the Thursday we had spent together last week I didn’t really hear from him until the Sunday after we saw each other. It was kind of awkward starting the conversation. We hadn’t actually seen each other out like that since we started this…whatever this is. But once we got past the awkward parts it got to how it always has been, just talking to each other and asking questions.

Seeing him Wednesday I feel made him reveal more of his feelings towards me. Once I picked up some food, he had been craving steak, I went to his house as usual. Us eating together is such a normal thing, we joke and laugh together. He has no problem giving me shit or taking my sarcasm and jokes. He paid me back for the food, I told him he didn’t have to but he insisted since it wasn’t like burgers or pasta.

We continued where we left off on the show and cuddled on the couch with our drinks. (That’s how we usually look on the couch)

I really and truthfully don’t know how to think of him. I feel myself falling for him every time I think about that night. During our time together of course we kissed and did some of the usual things we do together. But at one point he pauses the show to ask me some questions. I’m sure I’ve said before that he has some dominant tendencies and one of the things he likes to do is touch and grab my throat.

I know there are some people who are thinking, “What the fuck?!” It isn’t something I’ve ever done before but the way he does it is such a turn on that it’s crazy to me. Well, he wanted to know why I liked it when he did that. I quietly explained that I wasn’t sure why but it just felt good. He says, “There’s no way you haven’t been grabbed like that before. I mean, who wouldn’t want to wrap you up like that and kiss you?” I just shrug and say well it has never been done before. He asked me why, I just tell him everyone has always acted like I was some delicate flower that would just break.

He then mentions that he saw my boyfriend touch my face Saturday night and then said the above comment. He then added, “I shouldn’t feel that way but I can’t help it.” I honestly was shocked and didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t tell him the thought of that broke my heart, because I want to be his. All of me.

I just laid my head against his chest and closed my eyes for a minute. He then just wrapped his arms around me and held me closer. He pressed play and the show continued on.

After we were watching it for a while, he did his usual thing where he touches my face and then squeezes my cheeks. I kind of fidget and tell him to stop because I don’t like that. He tells me I have no reason to do that, I need to stop worrying about what people think, especially him. He kind of whispers that into my ear. So I try and relax so he can touch on my face, then he starts to massage on my jaw and then my neck. I instinctively start to make little noises, not trying to sound sexy but just because it felt good.

He tells me, “If you don’t stop making those noises we’re going to have a problem.” I laugh and say, “I’m sorry but I can’t help it. It just feels nice.”

He pauses the show again, “Do you have any idea how pretty you are?” He always asks me this question, mainly because I don’t think I’m that pretty. He starts brushing my hair back and tells me to keep my eyes closed and not to move unless he moves me. He then proceeds to touch my face, running his fingers down my face to my jaw line. He then touches my neck and tilts my head to the right. He proceeds to do the same thing on the other side of my face. It’s so intense and personal for me, I’ve never just let a man stare and touch me like that.

When he’s done he says quietly, “You’re face is so symmetrical, you’re so beautiful.” I whisper thanks to him and open my eyes. “Come on, you have to know you are so far above average looking. Why else would you take those model pictures?” He’s always asked about my portfolio pictures. I just say that lots of girls take those kinds of pictures it isn’t a rare thing. He says, “But they don’t look like you.”

I tell him thank you again and just look at him. I go to lay back down on him and my phone goes off. I pick it up and see it’s from the boyfriend asking what I was doing. I said watching TV with the girls. The Russian takes my phone and looks at it. I set it back down and he says I kind of feel bad. I nod my head and get quiet. He looks at me and says “The only reason I don’t want either of us to get in trouble is so he doesn’t find out what is going on and gets hurt. Because I’ve been there before and I don’t want to make someone hurt like I did.” I kind of blatantly say if you want me to leave I will. He grabs me and says, “Don’t say that shit. I just don’t want him finding out and everything getting out of hand.” I nod my head and say I agree. He pulls me close to him and tells me I need to get my own place. I tell him I’m trying and he smiles.

The Russian has told me his last serious girlfriend cheated on him once, but it wasn’t like what we are doing he says. The rest of the night continues on. We play with each other and kiss more. When it gets later I tell him I probably should leave once the episode we are watching ends. I say I don’t want to but I should.

He asks me if we should just pause the show for a little bit. I look at him and say if you want to we can. He pauses it and sits me on top of him. We start to kiss and it’s so passionate. We kiss in the way he showed me earlier and I can tell that’s what he really likes. He grabs a handful of my hair and pulls me back from him. I look at him and he pulls my ear to his mouth. He whispers those words he knows I love hearing. I slowly make my way down and start giving him a blow job.

Not to blow my own horn but I know I rock his world every time I do this for him. He gets so into it that it makes it more fun for me. He will play with my hair and talk to me during. When we finally reached the climax and I sat up to look at him he had his eyes closed and was smiling. When he looked at me he groaned and said, “You’re going to drive me crazy with that.” I laugh and lay down next to him. When I finally stand up to get dressed he does the same. I’m not sure what or how it happened but next thing I know he picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. We kiss like that for a while and he slowly put his hand down my pants. I whisper how badly I want him and he quietly says, “You aren’t ready yet.” He sets me down and I walk to my car.

This is probably one of my favorite parts. He kept pulling me back against him and kisses my lips, neck, face and just laughs with me. I tell him he needs to quit teasing me. He then pins me against my car and kisses me hard. “Don’t call me a tease.” He tells me as he quickly puts his hand down my pants and quickly slides a finger inside me. I was in such a shock he did that I didn’t even stop him. He eventually brings his hand out and wraps his arms around me.

I’m getting ready to go out of town on a little vacation for four days and tells me I better behave myself. I say yes sir and laugh. He opens my car door and puts me in my car. He continues to kiss me so deeply. Then he wants to make sure I’m okay to drive home, I tell him I’m fine. Then, “Do you have your phone?” I nod, and smile. “Show me you have it.” I pull it out of my pocket, “See sir, I have my phone!” He does this adorable little drunk dance and tells me to text him that I made it home okay. I tell him I will. He does this dance again and says, “I’ll beat that ass if you don’t let me know you’re home safe!!” I laugh out loud and say I will and not to worry. He then leans into my car again and gives me such a deep kiss. He holds me like that for a little while and then says, “Alright little girl hit the road.”

I get home safely (obviously) I texted him and told him I was home. I thanked him for inviting me over (a little inside joke between us) the next morning he said he was glad I came and that he was more drunk than he thought. I laughed and asked if he remembered the dance he did. He didn’t and was surprised at himself.

We talked some that next day, just back and forth kind of stuff. That night I thought he seemed a little grumpy and he told me he was tired. Then he joked with me about something and that was it.

Considering today is Valentine’s Day I didn’t really expect to hear from him. It is a “love” holiday. Is it bad that I wish it would be him sending me flowers or taking me to eat somewhere? Considering the boyfriend hasn’t and probably isn’t doing anything for me it makes me sad.

I’m going to use the time I’ll be away to really figure out what it is I really want. I won’t be around either of them for a few days. But I already know what I want don’t I? I want my Russian and I want to be his.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, I hope it started and will end better than mine.

Spending time with him just makes me happy. The way we play and joke with each other is so natural, it just doesn’t seem real to me. It’s so strange for these feelings to happen to me. I literally look forward to just spending time with him, even if it is just eating at his house and watching movies.

Last night was so much fun for me and it is starting to get harder and harder to stay away from him. I’ve learned ways he likes to be touched and kissed. It’s odd for me knowing I can do small things to him that causes him to catch his breath. We ate, watched a some episodes of his favorite show and cuddled during the time we were together. He played with my hair and hands like he always does. A few times he kissed the top of my head and would hold me closer to him.

It’s strange to me when he compliments me too. I just don’t know how to take them sometimes, I guess I just don’t feel that way about myself. But he can be so affectionate and funny with me I almost want to believe him.

Of course at one point he mentioned that my bra must be really uncomfortable and that he was implementing a “no bra” policy for me at his house. I laughed it off and said whatever. Eventually we were kissing and one thing led to another and he pulled me into his lap. He starts to massage my back, shoulders and neck until he slowly makes his way to my breasts and he starts massaging them. He then, very seductively I will say, slowly removed my bra and then said, “That’s much better.” Then he of course starting rubbing on me and made his way down to my clit. He continues to maneuver his hands until I have my first of several orgasms that night.

I’ve learned over the past few months with him that he has some dominate tendencies in him that are extreme turn-ons for me. I’m always the one men choose to treat like a delicate flower and I get tired of that. But with him he has no problem taking a handful of my hair and pulling it if I smart off to him or grabbing my face and putting it on his shoulder or make me kiss on his face. He asked me last night if I was okay with him doing that and I told him I liked it. Oh and the skills he has for smacking my ass are amazing, he does it in such a way that while it stings for a second it still feels good.

Of course I did ensure he came a few times too. Twice actually. There is something about him and his dick that I can’t get enough of, and even though I have always enjoyed BJs, with him it’s like I just want to do that all night. I was tempted to do it a third time but there wasn’t enough time. I have to actually work on my gag reflex though because I have never actually had one but he has such a large member that I actually gagged for the first time.

I will say, I told him a while back that I love when he will ask me to suck his dick. The way he says it makes it even sexier to me and I like knowing he wants it that much. Well, last night he told me he wanted me to ask him. And it was the sexiest thing, when I asked him, “Please, may I suck your cock sir?” his eyes rolled back and I felt his dick pulse. It was amazing. During the second round for him I positioned myself in a few different ways as to try and better deep throat him. Which it drives him crazy when I do that and it leads him to getting more forceful with me. He’s always pulling my hair back and holding it for me while I’m…servicing him.

After the second time I was laying next to him and I said something along the lines of I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. He then tells me that me doing that is his favorite thing…ever. I tell him he doesn’t have to lie to me, but he grabs my face and tells me I need to just believe him. Then he kisses me. I swear, I could easily have an orgasm just from kissing him.

I always feel like I talk about the sexual side of things with us and I’m sure that’s true, but the conversations we have are always amazing. And then when we are lying together and he just touches me with these sweet caresses and will kiss my hair or squeeze me a little tighter. These moments really make me think he actually cares for me. But I really think he’s afraid to admit that to both himself and me, because once feelings are legitimately involved I think that’s when things get more confusing.

He already shows some signs of jealousy in certain aspects, and I do the same thing. I never admit or reveal mine but I know they are there. We haven’t talked today but I expected that, I’m sure I will hear from him soon. I don’t know why he doesn’t seem to grasp that I don’t like to just message him first but oh well.

Is it bad that I already am longing to kiss him? Or even just be next to him? It’s like an ache I feel sometimes, maybe it’s just because we had just seen each other and that emotion is still there.