The One Thing Women Wish Guys Knew

Women have unrealistic expectations about what guys should know about dating and relationships. I know this because — you guessed it — I’m a female. And while we don’t expect you to magically know everything we’re thinking all of the time, we do expect you to magically know what we’re thinking most some of the time. To get you up to speed, I asked a handful of the sisterhood the one thing they wish men came out of the package knowing. Here’s what they had to say …

“If you give her a present for her birthday or a special occasion, buy a card and write a nice note for her too. She’ll hang on to it and re-read it when she’s feeling sad or missing you.” —Erica O.

“Change her lightbulbs when you notice they’ve gone out.” —Jenn B.

“Always offer to carry the kitty litter home from the store, or out of the car. That stuff is heavy.” —Mary M.

“Tell her she’s pretty every time you see her, not once in a while. Just because you said it once doesn’t mean you don’t need to say it again.” —Deirdre O.

“Never take a girl out on a date only to ask, ‘So, what do you want to do?’ Have a plan!” —Casey G.

“When you go away on a business trip or a vacation with the boys, make sure to communicate with her in a real way, and not in a way that just feels like you’re checking in because you have to. It doesn’t have to be every day, but when you reach out to her, actually devote 10 solid minutes to writing a thoughtful email, or talking to her on the phone without distraction. There’s nothing more depressing than getting a perfunctory itinerary email from a boyfriend who’s far away. ‘Today I did this, tomorrow I’m doing this. Miss you.’ You may think you’re reaching out, but you might as well be updating Facebook.” —Carolyn K.

“Say what you mean. For instance, if you go on a date with a woman and don’t want to see her again, don’t tell her that you do. It’s really annoying and unfair. It may be easiest in the moment, but it’s better to just keep your mouth shut than to say what you think she wants to hear.” —Amary W.

“Never, ever compare body types of the girl you’re dating to an ex — even if you think you’re doing so favorably, she’s going to freak out about it.” —Anna D.

“Girls are turned on by restraint. Even if you have crazy chemistry and you’re making out like mad on a first or second date, don’t invite her back to your place. It makes her paranoid that you think she’s the type of girl to go home with someone on a first or second date, which can make her feel paranoid about the vibes she was sending out.” —Dara A.

“Confidence is so sexy. I’ve had a few guys tell me about their insecurities (they involved their jobs, mostly) too early when we were dating, and it was a total turn off.” —Bethany K.

“Don’t hold out on contact. If you think you’re playing hard to get or whatever, you’re not, because she will appreciate a phone call, text, or email — basically anything that shows you exist on the other end and are thinking about her.” —Annie D.

“When you want to make plans, call her. A Facebook message isn’t the same thing as picking up the phone.” —Brittany T.

“If you made the effort to score a reservation at a nice restaurant and want to impress her, take care of the tab.” —Nina S.

“When you’re starting to date, don’t call the waitress/bartender ‘hot’ or check other women out. Even when you think you’re being discreet, we notice, and it makes us feel like crap.” —LeeAnne R.