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Sunday, February 2, 2014

There is no there there

A reader asks:

Do sociopaths actually have personalities? I mean clearly defined, stable personality types. Is there much variance from person to person? I've personally been drawn toward the ISTP of Myers-Briggs. Under all the bullshitting and such this is close to what I am. Under all the lies are we clones? Or are our core personalities changed by our experiences? Or does empath profiling relate to us at all?

I like to model my outward self after people I admire. I do admire some people. I look at them and I think, I could be you. I sometimes recognize myself in the actions of empaths, but I usually find disappointment when I look closer. The reasons why they do so many things make no sense to me. It is like looking at an alien species sometimes. They are afraid of everything. But I have also been disappointed when I come across low-functioning or low-IQ sociopaths. They may not have the same drives as empaths, but the results are the same. They do idiotic things with no thought of purpose. So is that the only difference between us, level of intelligence?

I think that is one positive about being the way I am: I can be whatever I am supposed to be, in any given situation. Ha if I didn't pay any attention to what people wanted out of me, I would have screwed everything up by now. I feel like a salesperson: the customer knows best.

My response: Ha, I'm sort of glad that you feel like you are more ISTP; people sometimes ask me if sociopaths aren't just INTJs.

I hate taking personality tests. I never know what to answer to questions like "do you have an emotional attachment to your friends?" Part of me does, but I also think it can't be that deep of an attachment if I cast them aside like used paper napkins when I'm done with them. An easier question would be, "Do you sometimes feel infatuation for things and people?" Because personality tests are not really designed for people like us, I answer most of them in radically different ways depending on context or my mood.

Maybe we do have personalities/selves but just multiple ones? The weirdest thing for me is to not know which self would be most appropriate in a given situation. Charming? Straightforward? Commanding? Cautious? It helps for me to have a buzzword to focus on, one primary goal, like the cliché actor asking the director "what's my motivation?" Because without it, I frequently can wander blindly when in a new situation or meeting a new person, slipping through several different "approaches" until I find one that works. This is never the first impression I want to make, but it is what it is.

I've taken a gazillion personality tests and it's always very difficult for me to answer the questions. i.e. mercy or fairness? I dunno, depends on the person and the situation. Humans are never so black and white in every situation, socio or no.

Regardless, I usually end up straddling INTP and INTJ.

Which means I probably should have been some kind of scientist like half the members of my family are. I would have been damn good at it, too.

I agree with Medusa. Personality test questions are normally too black and white for my liking. With many of the questions I could answer both yes and no, depending on how I feel at the time of taking, or what real life experience I may be thinking of to find an answer.

I spilt a drink all over this ugly skin-head earlier today. I thought that I was going to have to fight him, but then he just laughed and said it was alright. Then I ended up going and getting waisted with him and a couple of his friends. I was going to buy presents today, but I never got round to it, because I've been drinking all day long. I didn't buy anything for anyone last year either. They were alll pissed off, so I guess they're going to be really pissed this year. Fuck it though. My hand hurts as well because I cut it up in a drinking game that we were playing, but I've wrapped it up in some surgical tape. Merry christmas.

How can all of you hate christmas? I love this holiday. After so many attempts at giving me a gift someone is always bound to get it right. I got my girlfriend a snowflake diamond necklace (her name has to do with snowing), and a kitchen aid mixer (she always wanted one..how domestic).

ukan, for me anyway it is feeling obligation to act in a certain way that i don't like. i have to act sociable and interested in family over an extended time. and right now i have a cross between man-flu and swine-flu and when i'm sick it's trickier to keep the mask on - i'm likely to snap...

I love Christmas. I enjoy all festive occasions. I'm an atheist, but most of the celebrating is secular anyway. Plus my grandma is still with us and a stellar cook!

I enjoy giving fun or thoughtful gifts. I don't always have great ideas, though and this can make gift-giving a chore. I find that I rarely receive truly inspired gifs from others, though. I've most enjoyed when someone creates a song or painting just for me. (though I wouldn't turn up my nose at something expensive and sparkly.....)

I need to break up with my bf. Should I leave it till after New Year? Is it so cruel to do it today? I've broken up with him four times this year and he keeps coming back. Why does he keep doing this? He's expecting my call and I'm nervous. He NEVER gets the message.

It's me Notme btw. (I got access to a computer today.) You're right. But why do they not get it for christ's sake. I don't enjoy those conversations at all. They're torturous.But I won't take him back this time. Thanks Amelia.

I've been browsing through this site, and I have to say, I'm a little skeptical about the posters here labeling themselves as sociopaths. I'm sure you've already heard that before, and I'm not trying to say that you're all wrong, just that I'm hoping for more of an explanation, I guess. I'm just genuinely curious about this, and I'm a little confused as to what a sociopath is, according to everyone here. I'm not saying I think that all sociopaths have to be violent or criminal. Only, sometimes the posters here seem merely detached and unemotional, or just really strong thinking rather than feeling types. Maybe I'm just stereotyping because I keep thinking that sociopaths aren't so introspective as they seem here, or so aware. But then again, maybe that's just what comes with labeling anything. It seems there are so many posts about different "levels" of sociopathy, about high-functioning and low functioning sociopaths, about it existing on a spectrum, but then I see comments that seem (though maybe I'm misreading) to make such black-and-white distinctions between empaths and sociopaths, as if sociopaths are so intensely different and isolated from the rest of humanity.

I'm pretty positive I'm not a sociopath, but I can be manipulative and hurtful and feel nothing about it. Other times I can feel extremely guilty about really small, insignificant things that I've done. One time I ran over a raccoon and felt nothing. I didn't really care at all and I found it strange that the friends I was with were so upset about it. I actually faked feeling guilty about it. However, a few weeks ago I found an injured bird in the middle of the road and I felt so bad for it I almost cried. I couldn't walk away without helping it, and even when I did I felt guilty for not doing enough. Those aren't the best examples, but it's what comes to mind right now. I've always just considered both of these types of reactions, and how they contradict each other, as merely human. I don't really want to label one or the other as so distinct from the minds of a certain half of the population.

I can kind of understand, though, how some sociopaths look at "empaths". I have some friends that are extremely moral-driven people. They get really angry with people who break certain values they hold. I don't understand this and I often feel uncomfortable (as if I have to be someone else) whenever I'm with them. It's not that I don't have a set of ethical standards myself, I just don't see them as so set in stone. When people break them, I can often understand why they do and I see their actions more as human rather than wrong or immoral.

I guess I've just thought that every person, at times, has the ability to manipulate and the desire to control other people. It seems like everyone I know fails (maybe fails is the wrong word... ?) sometimes to feel guilty about the mistakes they make or the ways that they hurt people. But that doesn't mean they always do, and it doesn't always mean they're sociopaths.

Mostly I'm just trying to find out everyone's opinion about this, because I have a hard time understanding how sociopaths (at least the ones here, who I can actually discuss this with) are so different from so-called "normal" people. I don't really know what that is

I like them gently wedged between my lips with warm breath constantly hitting them as I lick them with the tip of my tongue, sometimes doing light circles around the areola. A whole mouthful of boob is all good fun but neither party is really having intense physical reactions to it...

You fucking fags and borderline sluts don't like christmas because you are all alone. Lol. Your christmas is spent eating crackers and shoving summer sausage in and out of your asshole. Its winter prick. You can't fuck yourself with summer sausage in the winter. go ahead and admit it. You hate christmas because it shows you how alone you really are.

regarding the original post, I don't come out consistently on personality tests. I struggle over some of the questions since there's never an option for 'sometimes.' sometimes i'm introverted sometimes i'm extraverted. sometimes i'm this sometimes i'm that. is that so damn strange! stoopid tests.some questions i can answer confidently, some i can't. no one cares but there you go. i won't charge.

Family is gone for now and all is quiet and after cleaning up the (whole) turkey from the floor and running out to buy fried chicken 7 minutes before the store was closing, I would say it was a success.

Brings back memories of going to see The Song Remains The Same every Saturday night at the midnight movie. That was a big deal; people smoking and drinking in the theater; throwing up in the aisles and seats. Good times.

I'll probably be watching this too. It's an alchemist device style vampire movie as opposed to undead, and Ron Perlman is the antagonist with Guillermo del Toro directing. I can't believe I've never heard of it before.

Ahhh Christmas... The time of year where my whole family gets together and basically exchanges cash! The worst part is sleeping on an air mattress while my twin sister sleeps on a twin bed in the corner... Watching myself sleep, CREEPY. The best part is ... When it's over I get to go home and redeposit different money?

I wish she was a Sociopath, then maybe she'd still be awake right now and wouldn't have cried the whole way here because something our step sister said "really just makes her feel so unworthy"...is breaking bad any good? Yeah that sentence just happened, it's 2 am!

Compared to The Wire, breaking bad is a kids show. I hate to say it but their portrayal in BB of the criminal world is silly.I wouldn't say you are a psychopth Notable. You are a narccissist. That is how I got you and GRK. I got you into a pissing contest where you turned out to be the only contestant. You guys always fall for it, because you can't see past your own ego. Observation not a insult.I got this game Dark Tower for christmas from my folks. It was a childhood game and they only made it for a year in the early eighties. My folks found it online after I was telling them I wish I had the game again. Its a rare collectors item and I was pretty honored to hold onto the family boardgame. Thought I would spread my cheery christmas to all you muppets.

Besides the father, the acting is sub par. The characters are not believable and over the top. Those corny twin hitmen, the corny mexican tweeker drug kingpin, the corny attorney, the corny Jesse Pinkman, and the corny DEA/Brother in law really got to me after a while.With the wire the was no good and evil. It was just the system's bare bones.

I know a lot about and a lot of american criminals. Trust me, they don't act like Jesse or that over the top cartel guy on the first one that was screaming and acting crazy.Plus I never said I was irish ;)

I liked how similiar it is to my world. Its one show I think I've seen where a lot of it was accurate.I saw how the brother in law turned into a weepy little girl. Not surprising since he was a little girl at heart. Pinkman cusses like he has never uttered a curse word his entire life. I think that's what annoys me so much. He sounds so fucking fake and he's all over the show. Its like that ugly guy on Boardwalk, who's always a crony in every movie. Now he's a boss? He doesn't fit the part at all. Everytime he has to get tough or intimidate someone it sounds like a joke.

The premise of the show is ridiculous. If I had a wife and son like that I would be thinking of how I could get rid of them, not take care of them. He's got this huge opportunity and he is wasting it to make sure his retarded son and slut wife are set for life? Please, sell it elsewhere.

I know. The show is awesome, except him. What the fuck were they thinking. They should have put James Gandolfini, or whatever the fuck his name is, in there.Its like Moriarty in the new sherlock holmes. What the fuck? That blokes a fucking child molestor not a consulting criminal. The show was fucking brilliant till this tart comes out on the last one, sounding like a total fruitcake.

Of course the premise is ridiculous, as well as most of the plot. That's part of why I like it. "Kafkaesque" and shit. Probably on purpose. I mean opening scene of the pilot... when would that ever happen? But I loved it anyway.

I just can't figure out his motivation for thinking that his choices would benefit his family in the long run. For a smart guy he sure is an idiot in almost every single way (including choice of wife). He's fucked up the lives of every single person around him, whilst telling himself he's only thinking of his family. Whatever, bullshit.

It's cool to see a character with a neurological difficulty being portrayed with an actual personality, for once.

For a guy who suddenly found another way of using his calculator that obviously shifted his way of processing reality, I do wonder why the main character didn't process his family in a new light. I mean wouldn't he be questioning the functionality of them?

On the PCL-R: I located the questions, the scoring system, and read up on it. I scored them in a way that matches my level of tendencies. I'm aware this isn't considered valid. Thanks for the input.

@UKan: How do you figure? I don't match any of the origin criteria for NPD, and only 3 out of the 9 trait criteria on the DSM, all three of which co-exist in ASPD. I'll agree with you that I'm narcissistic, but that's fairly prevalent within ASPD and SPD, too, not just NPD. I might be missing one or two PDs, but those are the ones that come to mind.

When you diagnose yourself, you get the answers that you want. The fact that you spend so much time talking about yourself to the point where you are blinded to the other people around you shows. Sociopaths in social situations make people gravitate towards them, because they spend time listening to people and figuring them out while creating a identity that makes that person not only comfortable, but enthusiastic. Narcs on the other hand haven't a clue on what people want to hear or see from them. They say anything that they think will make them look amazing. The reason people get annoyed with them is that they can't see that their opinion on who would be amazing is not everyone elses so they screw up sometimes socially.Narcs are not socially inept as their confidence carries the day, and with the lack of the extreme anti-social traits of sociopaths, they tend to fair a lot better in the long run in organizations. Your lack of self destructive tendencies, poor impression management, and lack of any manipulitive skills to the point of being manipulated (through your own words) tells me who you are.

As opposed to your gigantic walls of text exclusively about yourself and your antics as opposed to speculation and theory?

If telling an anecdote is narcissism, then you take the cake.

In regards to Impression Management, I take that fairly serious offline, or in an online setting where it is necessitated (social networks, work hubs). As far as self destructive behavior, not everyone enjoys telling their little stories about how they fuck up, unless it is relevant, which you often do when it isn't to gain attention. You won't manipulate me into sharing such wonderful annals of history to prove a point. If it's pertinent to a topic, then at some point in time I might share.

The only thing you've done is essentially fill in blanks without warrant. You have an irrational loathing of me, and have since day one. To take an armchair diagnosis from you would be laughable.

"I was pointed towards psychopathy by a professional friend. I didn't just hop on the interwebz one day and play Wheel of Personality Disorders."

Pardon me, but it sounds as though you feel your credibility is being threatened. Even if you were, and I mean this in a very respectful way, directed to this personality disorder by a professional friend, your self diagnosis is still as invalid as anyone else's. Do you understand this?

Then, If I may ask, why do you have a blog that has the central theme of your self-diagnosis? It seems as though there is apparent contradiction in this course of events. I realize you may be speculating, but this amounts to zilch, given the lack thereof of a diagnosis from a mental health professional. In a roundabout way of succinctly stating this, since you are not diagnosed as a psychopath, your blog is not an accurate representation of psychopathy and your speculations are very likely to be invalid.

The difference between my wall of text and yours is that people read it, including you. The reason people read it is because I never talked about myself for the two years I've been here, because I didn't come here to validate myself and it shows. When you speak it flares someone who needs validation from other people. Your history shows the same. Don't compare yourself to me, because you my friend are nothing.

So you suggest I seek out a health professional to have the potential of psychopathy in my mental health records? TO which purpose would this serve in my self interest and preservation? Have you read my blog and disgree with most points on a fundamental level, or are you arguing for agreement sake? Does ME have clinically diagnosed sociopathy, and if he didn't why are you even here? He has remarked in the past that he wasn't, unless something has changed.

Notable, I do believe you have incorrectly responded to my well performed logical execution of this conclusion. You already accepted the premises required, but it seems that the conclusion infuriates you. Let it be known that you are attempting to distract from this conclusion, which is known as a Red Herring. This is a classic logical fallacy.

To be blunt, you have completely ignored my conclusion that I have shown to be logically sound. Every single question you just postulated was completely irrelevant to the subject matter. I believe this discussion is over, now that I have proved my point.

Notable, I do believe you have incorrectly responded to my well performed logical execution of this conclusion. You already accepted the premises required, but it seems that the conclusion infuriates you. Let it be known that you are attempting to distract from this conclusion, which is known as a Red Herring. This is a classic logical fallacy.

To be blunt, you have completely ignored my conclusion that I have shown to be logically sound. Every single question you just postulated was completely irrelevant to the subject matter. I believe this discussion is over, now that I have proved my point.

Notable, I do believe you have incorrectly responded to my well performed logical execution of this conclusion. You already accepted the premises required, but it seems that the conclusion infuriates you. Let it be known that you are attempting to distract from this conclusion, which is known as a Red Herring. This is a classic logical fallacy.

To be blunt, you have completely ignored my conclusion that I have shown to be logically sound. Every single question you just postulated was completely irrelevant to the subject matter. I believe this discussion is over, now that I have proved my point.

Notable, I do believe you have incorrectly responded to my well performed logical execution of this conclusion. You already accepted the premises required, but it seems that the conclusion infuriates you. Let it be known that you are attempting to distract from this conclusion, which is known as a Red Herring. This is a classic logical fallacy.

To be blunt, you have completely ignored my conclusion that I have shown to be logically sound. Every single question you just postulated was completely irrelevant to the subject matter. I believe this discussion is over, now that I have proved my point.

Notable, I do believe you have incorrectly responded to my well performed logical execution of this conclusion. You already accepted the premises required, but it seems that the conclusion infuriates you. Let it be known that you are attempting to distract from this conclusion, which is known as a Red Herring. This is a classic logical fallacy.

To be blunt, you have completely ignored my conclusion that I have shown to be logically sound. Every single question you just postulated was completely irrelevant to the subject matter. I believe this discussion is over, now that I have proved my point.

To which, you've completely sidestepped the question which is in fact completely relevant to the topic. It's not called a Red Herring. It's called you avoiding a corner that you put yourself in.

The only point you've proven is that you have a fixation with me in regards to a point you posit is relevant, and disregard such a point to the very author of this blog and anyone else who is not professionally diagnosed. So, in essence you're saying, your very existence here is irrelevant, thus making your soapbox all the more slippery.

If you took impression management so 'seriously', how come almost everyone here looks down on you with contempt? I can't spell for shit, and my grammar is terrible. Since you are comparing yourself, how is a illiterate criminal looked at more favorably then you? What does that say for your personality?

2's conclusion: In a roundabout way of succinctly stating this, since you are not diagnosed as a psychopath, your blog is not an accurate representation of psychopathy and your speculations are very likely to be invalid.

My question: and if he didn't why are you even here? He has remarked in the past that he wasn't, unless something has changed.

Not Ables retarded comments, shameless links to his idiotic blog, racist comments, assumption that I'm black, clueless responses, and the fact that someone so naive such as yourself is his only protection is the reason I pick on Not Able. You didn't read it? I sure couldn't tell. I have a ego so big it couldn't fit in a building. The difference is I know. I know exactly who I am, faults and strengths. Not Able is confused. If you want to suck his dick because you are hoping he will be like your ex boyfriend, go for it. When you find out how weak he is do us the courtesy of coming on here and telling us that you were wrong.

Notable's blog is about someone without empathy. In my books, that is as close to a sociopath as it needs to be, since this platform is about communicating to outsiders who DO have empathy and want to understand what it's like not to have it.

You are under the impression that this place is exclusively for you guys to show who the bigger man is.It's not just about that, though you are welcome to carry on and I'm sure you will.

I think UKan is just challenging TNP, Notme. That's what they do. This is a blog for sociopaths and without that kind of dialogue it would be a blog of some other nature. Don't worry , TNP can take of himself.

I'd be inclined to say that most people who are regulars read posts from other regulars. However, the casual passerby, seeing a huge wall of texts with no paragraph usage would probably be less inclined to read your posts.

This of course doesn't apply to everyone that regularly lurks/comments. Just a thought. I'd think people would be more tolerable with bad grammar than a skyscraper of text.

i read everything on here with a pinch of salt. Some posts are purely entertaining, some are informative, and some are in the middle. TNP's are at the informative end and UKan's at the entertainment end. both can be interesting. what is a waste of reading time is pointless childish namecalling.so...

Really Not Able, because you commented on my wall of text. Are you just defending yourself right now, or was this yet another pathetic attempt at winning my favor.The regulars here have been bagging on you since you arrived, Not Able. They even changed your name to reflect how ridiculous you are. In fact, it was a lurker that did it (Nikita). The only people that can't see through your sad attempts at validation are naive, broken, and vulnerable.

Really Not Able, because you were one of the people who commented on my 'wall'. Are you just being defensive or was that just a pathetic attempt to try to gain my favor? I told you that a slight acceptance from me will have you eat out of my hand, and that I would backslap you again. The hilarious thing is that I told you ahead of time.

No I didn't. You're not a regular. You are a outcast at best. You want people to stop fucking with you, stop bullshitting us. I'm not speaking for everyone, but I can speak on the observation that most people start picking on you when you say something that's complete bullshit about yourself.The only people that defend you are people who haven't been here long enough to see the pattern of people like you. These are the same people that were duped, so they came to this site looking for answers. Now go chomp on your fucking popcorn all alone on christmas and go contemplate some real answers, instead of complete bullshit.

In my view, anyone who claims superior intelligence obviously lacks it, and is, in fact, a damn fool. One sign of real intelligence, as has been known and understood forever, is understanding how little one knows, certainly not claiming superiority to others.

Featured comment

Of course, my default is still to intuitively analyze every outcome and situation and achieve the best result, but it's more interesting to let people remain a variable and go in their own direction, rather than nudging them in the direction I prefer. Interacting with people WITHOUT trying to control them is a new paradigm for me.