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I hope a white person does something racist because I have nothing to do this weekend

By Al Sharpton

It's been quiet around here for a little while. I'm not bored ... just ... it's quieter than usual.

Okay fine, here's the deal: I had plans for Saturday, and it was something that was gonna be like an all day thing. But they just called and canceled, like literally just got off the phone ... and now I got nothing. My weekend is suddenly empty. And all my friends are busy because I told them I was gonna be busy.

I'm just saying ... it might be cool if something happened that really pissed me off. Then I'd have shit to do. Nothing big, I'm not picky. Maybe a sports announcer can say "negro" while referring to a brother athlete, or a white police officer can get let off for beating an African American gentleman who was escorting his momma to church. Yeah, that'd be good. See, I'm already starting to get a little pissed off just thinking about it. And that's good.

Nothing kills time like a good ol' fashioned boycott, and let's just say I've been listening extra-hard to Howard Stern and those Opie and Anthony fellas, and the second they slip the "N" word, I'm gonna rain down on their ass like the next Katrina.

Ahh Katrina. Man oh man oh man, those were the days. Not a second went by that I wasn't on TV being all like "shit's fucked up" or on the radio going like, "Bush is a demon". But you know, I gotta move on. This is a lifestyle, no living in the past.

Come on, Opie and Anthony. You know you want to. Just say the word. The "N" word.

Who fucking does that anyway, cancels plans for the weekend so soon? I was looking forward to it; I hadn't seen this friend in a while. Dumbass.

Al--check it out. Charlie Sheen left a phone message on Denise Richards' machine using the "N", and I don't mean "nubile". When you get the nomination in 2012, I get to be vice president for this tip, okay?

I think that if you were loved as a child, you wouldn't have these issues. I suggest that rather than using the "N" word, you replace it with the word "special" or "super". And I'm gay.
O & A PARTY ROCK!

I need a hunnie,...yea, that playboy bunnie, Miss hilary skank, I know ya readers gon think this is funnie, i'd give hilary's ass a spank with my black cocka doodle dooOOooOO. i'da fuck that hoe, and cheat on my wife fore the fun of it, cuz women these days are trippin, I went to the bar, and this bitch scared of Snoop dogg and moved far, I'm guessing their retards, got my dick so hard when their dancing on the poles,..i'll give Hilary the biggest butthole lol this is a disrespect to Mr. Clinton for cheating with monica, i'll sit back laugh and drink a heineken, with my nigga TUPAC laughing at the racism and that punk Bush. Al sharpton don't stop, what u doin brotha.!! heh hehee

All my sexy ladies,...shake it for me. To the ladies in IRAQ, I wanna see that THONG, coming down and some pussy poppin, and ass shaking,...good to hear SUDDAM is dead, it's time to PAAARRRTTTAAAYYYY!!!
SHAKE THAT SHIT!!!

I'm the richest man on the planet. DO U WANT TO MAKE A BILLION JUST LIKE ME???

I'LL LET U IN ON A LIL SECRET. THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END....JESUS SPOKE ABOUT THE END....
GO TO CHURCH, BECAUSE I DID THAYT...I PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD BLESS ME,...
AND GIVE ME THE DESIRES OF MY HEART, I WORK TOWARDS MY GOAL FOR YEARS AND NEVER STOPPED...THAT"S HOW I BECAME A BILLIONAIRE ON MICROSOFT...
I DISPLAYED SOMETHING PEOPLE COULD USE, TO MAKE IT EASIER AND FASTER, I CREATED IBM...
I WORKED ON IT FOR HOURS< AND I HAD HELP BY GOD, I ASKED PERMISSION FOR HIM TO HELP, AND PRAYED DAY AND NIGHT TO BE SUCCESSFUL TO ALL THE CHILDREN OUT THERE<...DO NOT BE LIKE HUGH HEFNER...HE'S OLD...AND CRUMBLING, FORNICATION AND SEX LEADS TO DEATH...I SUGGEST ONE WOMEN IS ENOUGH, BUT COME ON,...LADIES IN IRAQ,...I'VE HIDDEN FROM THAT MANY, THEY'D TEAR ME APART IF THEY KNEW I HAD THAT MUCH MONEY.!! ;-D ON SECOND THOUGHT...I'D FEEL HORNY...FOR ONE NOT THREE WOMEN. I DON'T LIKE KISSING ON SPIT,...OR SHARING, ANOTHER MANS WIFE, WITH SPIT IN HER MOUTH...THAT"S DIGUSTING.!!!

Why would Mahmoud say such a thing? The N word is not nice to use...it was during our ancestors time back in slavery. Why why whyyyyy? we need to touch each other..and love each other...and be caring, instead of racism, with fighting and pushing and cursing. How awwwwwwwwwwwfffuuuuulllll. so cruel this world could do better than destroy lives,...the N word is being used so wrongfully and abusively...I believe the N word stands for Never Ignorant Getting Goals Accomplished... TUPAC SHAKUR explained it so welll,...i'da hug him.!! Perhaps he'd be angry with the touching part, but yeah, I wanna make it clear, just like prince said it best..

NUMBER ONE... I'm not GAY.
NUMBER TWO...my name is MICHEAL JACKSON...the king of POP...
NUMBER ZERO... I LOVE WOMEN...Huhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!
NUMBER THREE...I HEARD RUMORS THAT TUPAC SHAKUR IS ALIVE!

YOU HEARD TUPAC IS ALIVE?? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY PUT HIS PICTURE UP HERE THEN???

SUGE KNIGHT BETTER WATCH HIS BACK,...TUPAC IS GONNA GET SUGE MERKED!!
MY BROTHA IS ALIVE...HE'S ALIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!! HE'S COMING TO MAKE MORE ALBUMS AND HITS AND BEAT SUGE'S ASS FOR THE PLOT TO ASSASINATE

I sometimes wonder what the big deal about the "N" word is myself. And for that matter, and to cut down on the confusion, I sometimes say it from time to time. The more we say it, the less hateful it becomes, until one day it's as accepted as calling women bitches.