Pages

2016 started just the way that 2015 had ended, full of restlessness and uncertainty. It contained many bad days, but just as many good ones as well, especially during the second half of the year. 2016 was the year that helped me grow, the year that made me realize wealth does not equal happiness, the year that taught me what it really means to feel alive.

January:

If I'm being completely honest here, I've somehow managed to erase the majority of January from my memory. I must have spent most of the month working and worrying; taking pictures and writing posts to document what was happening in my life and in my head wasn't really on my mind. I know I was looking for a new apartment, and I started decluttering and downsizing, especially my makeup collection. It was definitely the beginning of the end of my love for all things beauty. I remember visiting Frankfurt and Anna at the end of the month and enjoying talking about hair and makeup once again, but after that I slowly but surely stopped caring. I had finally realized that buying, possessing and consuming so many materials things, such as unnecessary makeup items, just cannot make me happy. Thank God (or whomever) for this realization.

February:

February built on where January ended. Obviously. And it went by in a blur. One weekend was spent walking through the icy forest with the family. My stepdad spent an hour or two randomly trying to make a small campfire in the snow and we were all freezing our butts off until he eventually managed to light it and actually keep it going. I'm pretty sure that was my highlight of the month.

March:

The first half of March was mostly taken up by work and random afternoon walks and all kinds of different things regarding the move. I remember being stressed and overwhelmed by the variety of emotions and feelings I was experiencing during that time. On the 11th I finally got the keys to my new place. Even though I had quite a bit of time to move all of my stuff and get some new furniture, moving still was a lot more tiring than I'd anticipated. That's probably one of the reasons why I slept incredibly well on the first night I spent in my apartment. I was so relieved. And saying goodbye to the old place wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It was strange though, walking through the flat that used to be home for the last time. To be honest, I don't really like thinking back at it because the memory of how cold and empty yet familiar it felt just weirds me out.

April:

April contained a lot of getting used to. I'd say I got settled pretty quickly and actually felt at home from the first night I spent in my new bed in my new apartment, but I still had to get used to a whole new life. My routine changed, and when I wasn't working, I was spending a lot of time on my own. I was thinking a lot, about life, about myself, about the past and about the future. Sometimes I loved it, but sometimes being alone wasn't as easy. The month went by quite fast though, and all I really remember is this.

May:

I don't think May was that great, actually. My oven was broken for what felt like ages, which really pissed me off. I definitely had a couple of really bad days during the month, and doing fun things like taking pictures or making videos or blogging was not one of my priorities. I did however spent a nice weekend with my family, and was very appreciative of their support. Also, I actually started riding my bike to work every single day in May, which kind of changed my life a little bit.

June:

Things definitely went uphill again in June. I started being absolutely content with living on my own and having all of the space and time to myself. Spending an hour on my bike almost every week day made me realize how good it feels to get moving and so I finally decided to try running and doing home workouts. And I'm pretty sure that starting to work out was one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. And when I wasn't working or riding my bike or running, my eyes were definitely glued to my laptop watching Game of Thrones, which became a huge obsession during June. For the night is dark and full of terrors!

July:

July consisted of beautiful sunsets, lovely moments with friends and family, stressful days at work and laughter and pain and change. I spent a weekend at my brother's place to celebrate his birthday, which somehow unexpectedly changed the rest of my year. And I got a tattoo. Even though it had been at the back of my mind for about a year, I definitely didn't think I was actually gonna get it done this year or like, ever. But I'm absolutely obsessed with it and I love everything that it stands for. Looking back at it, July definitely was a good month.

August:

My birthday month was a good one, too. A couple of nice days were spent with my blondie. We rode our bikes, ate delicious food, took pictures and just sat by the riverbank and talked for hours. I also enjoyed work during August, and spent a fun evening having a barbecue and a drink or two with my colleagues. I was off work for a couple of days over my birthday and spent my free time going on long sunny bike rides, taking pictures, playing billards with friends and having a nice birthday dinner with my parents. Overall, it was a great time.

September:

September started hot and sunny and ended with a beautiful sunset. Everything in between is a blur of places and faces and moments and memories. It was a good month, even though I don't remember all of it in detail. It made me realize how much I love living on my own and that waking up alone is quite nice, actually. And it gave me confidence and finally made me feel like life made sense again.

October:

In years past, fall had always been my favorite season, and this year I fell in love with it once more. October consisted of long weekdays and weekends that went by way too fast. It was filled with extended hikes and short evening walks, endless hours spent taking pictures, or cooking, or relaxing on the sofa. Rainy Saturdays and sunny Sundays were spent exploring the Elbe Sandstone Mountains; sunset hours were spent wondering why certain things are just the way that they are. This year, October taught me a lot about what's important in life and what's not. It left me speechless on a few occassions, and pensive on some, but it did also leave me incredibly happy.

November:

November came, unpredictable as ever, and just like last year, it brought stress and uneasiness. Work gave me a headache and life gave me the worst cold I'd had in years. I was practically ill all month long and therefore unable to continue my workout routine, which I'd just gotten into. I was, however, able to spend a couple of days by the seashore, getting my mind off the things at work, taking walks along the deserted beach, camera always in hand. It was cold, it was sunny, it was beautiful and it made me feel a lot better.

December:

Another minor anxiety attack at the Christmas market, another evening spent making Christmas presents. Another cup of mulled wine, another dinner with the family. The smell of ginger bread, langos, roast and dumplings, and a breath of fresh air. A walk through the frosty forest, a day spent hiking and playing around with new equipment, a couple of afternoons spent at the natatorium. Enjoying time with friends and family, being thankful and stuffed to the brim. Another good month, another December gone by way too fast.

2016 was rocky, just like I'd anticipated, but it was still a lot better than I'd thought. I hope life will continue going uphill in 2017, literally. I want to go hiking and climb a few mountains, explore the world and take tons of pictures. My to do list for 2017 seems endless and I'm excited to see what I'll be able to cross off of it by the end of the year.