Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I skipped Oliver's 12 month update. Things were so crazy with his birthday party and with family in town, but, besides, his growth and development is starting to become less drastic. It makes sense to update his progress every few months instead of every month at this point.

Oliver's getting really good at stacking multiple objects. Instead of just taking games and DVDs down from the shelves, he now puts them back (sometimes). He puts them back by stacking them up. He also stacks the rings of his stack-tower (but not on the pole yet). Finally, he sometimes even puts Duplos and Mega Blocks together (but not all the time, as he sometimes puts the wrong sides together), and likes to pull them apart as well.

His favorite past time is climbing up and down the stairs repeatedly. He probably spends two hours a day going up and down, and so I'm also spending two hours a day going up and down stairs.

Oliver also adores playing peek-a-boo. He loves to duck behind the table and pop up to hear us yell, "Peek-a-boo!" My favorite is when he does it behind the glass table at my parents' house. He delights in us hiding behind corners and jumping out while yelling, "Boo!"

His behavior and sleeping habits are improving drastically as well. Oliver slept last night from 7:30pm to 5am. I nursed him, and then he went back to sleep until 6:45am. He's usually napping once a day right now (for about an hour to an hour and a half), although he's sometimes tired enough for two naps. For the first time ever, we're not walking him to sleep for his naps. We wait until he's very tired, and then we take him upstairs, lay him down on his mattress, tuck him in, and then lay next to him while singing the alphabet song. He goes to sleep in about 2-3 minutes.

Tantrums are not much less frequent. Oliver has 1-2 tantrums a day, which is a large improvement on the day-long tantrums we experienced a few weeks ago! I have a feeling tantrums will be a regular occurance for another year, but it's nice that they're not all the time.

He's eating extremely well. He loves to eat Cheerios, banana pieces, orange pieces, and turkey dog slices. He eats baby food sometimes, since we have so much from WIC. He also eats pieces of whatever we're eating at dinner time. Some of his favorites are tomatoes and rice. He likes to eat pasta noodle slices by sticking his finger in the hole first... it's very cute.

We've also started letting him watch some music videos on occasion. He really loves watching "Baby Beluga" and "Mr. Sun" on youtube.com. We were really against using TV has a means to keep him entertained, and while I'm not proud of it, I've also found that I can quick pop on a video and get dinner prepped. I guess the easy way wins sometimes!

Oliver is doing better with other people. He still hates being held by other people if I am around, but, in general, he's more accepting of others. Family has even been able to babysit on occasion, which allowed for Andrew and me to go out with friends to celebrate my birthday this past weekend. I'm hoping we can get a date in sometime this month again, too (especially considering I have a coupon for a free movie!).

In regards to big milestones, Oliver has (sort of) begun speaking. He constantly says, "mah," (more) when he wants something. He sometimes tries to say "boop" (our word for "poop") when I change his diaper, and when he's upset and wants me, he says, "Muuuuuum." He has not started walking yet, although he's getting very mobile on his feet. He cruises along the cabinets and the fridge, and in order to get from one side of the kitchen to the other, he'll grab our pants and walk across. He also likes using the push-walker from Stasa. We leave it next to objects like the coffee table so he can push up and grab on to the walker. Sometimes, if we're busy, he'll surprise us by walking by. It's so cute! He won't even try to let go to walk, though, and he also still won't let go (on purpose) while standing.

Currently, he's nursing 2-4 times a day. Sometimes, he skips his 5am feeding. On occasion, he'll skip his afternoon feeding. Still other times, he nurses at 5am and then insists on nursing again at 10am and 4pm and then again before bed time.

To end Oliver's 13-month post, here's a list of his likes and dislikes:

Likes:The dryerThe fridgeThe microwaveClimbing the stairsPlaying peek-a-booCrawling around nakedPulling down and then re-stacking the DVDs and video gamesPointing at objects to learn their namesLight switchesToilets and toilet screw capsWaterBananasWatching videos like "Mr. Sun" and "Baby Beluga"MomDadMilk (even cow's milk)Getting his jacket put on (he knows it means we're going somewhere)Trying to brush his own hairPlaying with Dad's shoesPlaying with blocks with DadLooking at photos in books (but he doesn't like the illustrations as much at the moment)Doing the dishes with MomFolding laundry with Mom

Dislikes:Being told "no" (he gives the lip)Having the door to the dishwasher closedBeing put downHatsSleeves and collars on shirts

Monday, November 29, 2010

Mensa sent me this birthday image in an email. You think it would have been an easy puzzle, especially considering that it's my birthday. It took me about five minutes to figure it out. Ha! I swear, my IQ dropped ten points since becoming a mother. I blame lack of sleep and inability to focus.

Anyway, I opened up my email and found this image. I kept staring at the frog, thinking, "Why did they choose that image of a frog with it jumping?"

I finally deciphered the birthday message when I looked in the middle of the puzzle and tried using the word "hay" instead of "straw" for the image. From there, I easily got "Hay two ewe," and then knew the first part should sound like "Happy birth-"

Saturday, November 27, 2010

This year, more retailers seemed to have deals for today (Saturday) than in years past. For example, World Market's deal to get an ornament and a scratch card to win a prize/coupon is going on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, instead of just Friday. The Great Indoors had a big sale yesterday, but they chose today to be the only day they gave out $20 gift cards to their first one hundred customers.

Both stores opened at 8am, so I thought they'd be packed. I was wrong! My mom; my friend, Aminta; her mom; her aunt and I all arrived at The Great Indoors at 7:15am. There were about two dozen people there. We sipped on coffee as we waited in line for the doors to open. At 8am, we grabbed our gift cards, and then we left to go to World Market. There were still about 30 ornaments and scratch cards left when we arrived about 5 minutes after the hour. I got my free ornament and I won a free miniature bag of truffles. My mom used her $5 off of $20 coupon, and then we went back to The Great Indoors to use our gift certificates. Aminta snatched up a great deal. After two sale discounts and her gift card were taken off the price, she got a new toaster oven for $7. My mom bought four beautiful bowls (originally $15 each) for a total of $4. I decided to keep my trip free, so I bought a new potato masher (my plastic one was falling apart and not working well) and an organizer for my spice cabinet.

In all, I left this "Black Saturday" with an ornament, truffles, potato masher and spice organizer for FREE! This brings my total freebies this holiday weekend to: one miniature snow globe, two ornaments, one miniature bag of truffles, a bat & ball set, a potato masher, and a cabinet organizer. Woohoo!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday is one of my absolute favorite days of the year. It's always my goal to spend as close to nothing as I can while still returning with a small load of goodies. Thus, I scope out the freebies and giveaways.

This year, I managed to spend absolutely nothing. With Andrew staying behind to watch Oliver, my friend Aminta and I met at 4am and drove to JC Penney. We collect the miniature snow globes they give out every Black Friday. Some years (if they give out good coupons), we return to make purchases, but this year, we grabbed our free snow globe, send thanks, and left without returning.

From there, we drove to Sports Authority. I have fun there on Black Friday. For my budget, they're a little pricey, but they give out free gift cards to their first few customers, and that makes some of their stuff more affordable. Last year, I got a running shirt that cost me about $5 after my free gift card. This year, we pulled up at 4:30am. There were other cars in the parking lot, but no one was out in line yet. I decided to be the first sucker and got out and stood at the door. First in line! Aminta and our friend, Phuong, joined us shortly after. With the $10 gift card I received, I found a bat and ball set for $9.99. It looked perfect for Oliver! I decided to get that with my gift card. Amazingly, the discount was taken off before the tax was added, so I didn't have to pay a penny! Additionally, after checking out, they gave me an additional $10 gift card that's valid for a few weeks starting Monday. Hurray!

After Sports Authority, we went to World Market. I love all the treats at World Market, but I try hard not to buy anything on Black Friday (remember--FREE is the key!). It was a very pleasant wait in line! The employees came buy with samples of coffee (so good!) and pastries (I liked the fig bar). Then, they came around with individual shopping baskets for our convienence, and in each basket was our free ornament and scratch card (for a chance to win a discount, freebie, or big prize). The highlight was when one of the employees checked to see if Phuong was 18. She's 27. Hahahaha. I won $5 off of $20, which I didn't use, and so did Aminta, which she did use. Phuong won a free bag of truffles! Score.

So, at 7:30am, I was up a bat & ball set, a snow globe, an ornament AND a gift card--not to mention my belly full of coffee and treats!

Tomorrow, our adventures continue. World Market is giving away another ornament with a chance to win a prize, and The Great Indoors is giving away gift cards to the first 100 customers. I can't wait!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

As I mentioned in previous posts, Oliver calls me "Moooooom" and "Mah!" I'm still not sure if I should count this as his first word. He also says, "Mah!" for "more," but he really just means it as "give me." So, if he wants, say, the cup of water, he'll point to it and say, "Mah!" Or if he wants some of our dinner, he'll point and say, "Mah!" If he wants to nurse, he pulls on my shirt and says, "Mah."

I don't hear him say, "Mooooooom," for anything but me, though. Still, I'm not sure if he uses the word frequently enough to count it.

I'm very eager for him to start talking. And walking! Oliver, when will you start talking and walking?! We want to hear what you have to say!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Andrew and I have been working so hard on getting Oliver to eat. His eating habits have typically been this: we dice up something we know he likes, like a turkey dog or a banana, and watch as he eats four tiny pieces of it. We'd give him Cheerios, and he'd eat about 6 and then throw the rest on the floor. We'd give him a waffle, and he'd eat a quarter of it. We'd follow him around with baby food and try to slip in a spoonful when he wasn't paying attention. The boy would not eat, which made me feel bad trying to push his nursing times farther apart.

At Oliver's 12 month appointment, he was at 21 pounds. That's not ridiculously skinny, I know, but it puts him in the 20th percentile.

It sounds stupid, but I get frustrated with people when they comment on his weight. Some people (who see his middle) comment on how skinny he is. He is--you can see his ribs!--but we try so hard to get him to eat! Other people (who notice his cheeks and/or ankles) comment on how chubby he is. This also makes me mad because I just want to say, "But he's not! He won't eat!"

Anyway, finally, finally, Oliver has started eating food this week. He's like a bottomless pit, and I'm not used to it! I'll dice up an inch of turkey dog, and he eats the whole thing. I'll put a handful of Cheerios on his tray, and he eats them all. I put more Cheerios on his tray, and he eats those, too. Then, I think he might need some fat to make him feel full. I put a few ounces of whole milk (organic with no growth hormones) into a sippy cup and hand it to him, and he drinks it down. I'll wait an hour and then open a package of vegetable baby food (he still eats baby food because I get it with WIC), and eats the whole thing (I have to spoon feed him myself again because when I hand him the spoon, all he wants to do is try to spoon out the food from the container--which I let him do sometimes--and won't actually eat any of it).

When I'm eating, I have to constantly hand him bits of my food. He probably eats a quarter of all my meals! It's crazy. Yesterday evening, after a meal of turkey dog pieces, sliced green beans, and Cheerios (so, so many Cheerios), he also got a jar of baby food, and then he ate about a quarter cup of black beans and a few hunks of tomato and tofu from my tacos.

I thought the WIC people and the people at the pediatrician's office were off their rocker when they handed me a list of what Oliver should eat in a day. It would list multiple items for breakfast, like cereals, fruit, and milk, and I thought, "Dude, I'm lucky if he eats more than a spoonful..." Literally, he'd only eat a spoonful of most baby foods, and just a few pieces of finger foods. Of course, I asked them all about it. At WIC, they said, "Just keep offering him foods." At the doctor's office, they said, "He's fine. He knows how much he needs to eat."

Although we never expected Oliver to eat this much, it's such a relief to us that he's eating. We feel like we don't have to stress about cutting back his nursings, and we don't stress about him getting enough nutrition and calories to grow. Hurray to my little man who has discovered the joy of food!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Andrew and I also are trying to learn not to make excuses for Oliver. In the past, when we've started to try to be more firm with Oliver, we quickly changed our minds when he grew more upset. We fed each other excuses, "He's probably teething," or "Maybe he's just not feeling well," or "It could be the stress of weaning," or "He seems cold/hot." We've now come to accept that there will always be an excuse to not set limits and be firm with Oliver. We just need to not prevent us from doing what we're supposed to do.

I used to think how lucky Oliver was to have parents as patient and loving as Andrew and me. He's been a very high-maintenance baby from the moment he was born. Lately, though, I've started to realize how fortunate we are that Oliver is as demanding as he is because it's forced us to learn to be parents.

Oliver started throwing his first tantrums a few months ago. In the last few weeks, they've gotten more extreme. He throws himself to the ground when he's upset, and if he still doesn't get what he wants, he starts throwing anything near him. Saturday morning, Andrew and I were completely miserable because Oliver wouldn't stop screaming unless one of us picked him up.

I realized that Andrew and I weren't the only ones unhappy. There's no way Oliver could be happy by spending his days throwing fits. So, if Andrew and I were not enjoying his company, and Oliver wasn't having a good time either, then we were failing him. The thing is, it's very easy to give him what he wants. It's very hard to not carry him around all the time when I know that's the one thing he wants from me. I told Andrew that we needed to draw a line in the sand. We had to start being tough with him. That sounds so cruel, knowing Oliver's just 12 months old. Still, the three of us did not deserve to be miserable!

For the rest of Saturday, we worked on not picking him up all the time. We insisted he sit on the floor to play games with us. At first, every time we put him on the floor, he started screaming. It was very hard to see him get hysterical, but we were persistent. We said firmly, "Uh-uh!" And when he kept it up, we ignored him completely and just talked to each other. Eventually (and it took a long, long time... over an hour...), Oliver stopped crying. We turned our attention to him and started to pick up toys, but the moment we gave him our attention, he started yelling and crying again, trying to get us to pick him up. This went on for the remainder of the morning and afternoon. By evening, though, there was already a lot of improvement. Andrew and I were relieved to see him play with his toys with us, play peek-a-boo, and crawl to get to things on his own again. Andrew and I were happy to be able to talk to each other, talk to Oliver, and play with Oliver. It was nice being a family.

Honestly, it felt so good that it worked. Had it not worked, I don't know what we'd do! The next morning (Sunday), Andrew and I had to start all over again. This time, it didn't take very long (less than an hour), and then Oliver transformed into a happy, interactive baby again. We gave him all the attention he wanted when he was out of our arms and not throwing a tantrum; we gave him little attention when we were carrying him and almost no attention at all when he was screaming/crying/whining.

Being firm with Oliver is the hardest thing I've ever done. Realizing that, I also realized how lucky we are that our first child has been this difficult. If he was easy-going, we would never have learned to be parents to Oliver. We would never have had to learn how to be firm and set limits. That wouldn't have been good for him.

This week has been much easier and so, so, so much more fun for me. It's very nice to be able to play games with Oliver or just watch him play while being nearby.

I'm not saying he never whines anymore. I am saying that it's not all the time, and it's much, much less frequent. I'm also saying that Andrew, Oliver and I are much happier, and I hope to never see the stress of these last few weeks again!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Oliver has his first real fever. I checked his temperature after feeling his warm forehead, and it read 101.5. We knew to look for this, as 1 out of 6 people who are vaccinated for MMR get a fever. This isn't unlike most vaccines he's had (some of which are 1 out of 4, or even 1 out of 3, resulting in fever), except that our information sheet says these side effects occur 7-12 days after the vaccine (instead of within a day or two, as is typical of most vaccines). It's weird the fever occurs so late, but, thanks to our handout, we knew to expect this.

I'm nervous because our sheet also says that 1 out of 3,000 doses can cause a seizure due to fever. After reading that, we've made sure to keep an eye on his temperature. We gave him a dose of (dye-free) baby Tylenol, and I dampened his hair. At the moment, he's napping, so I fear assured that he's OK for now. I'm just so nervous! I want to make sure we keep our baby comfortable and to do our best to keep his temperature down to prevent a seizure.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

In other news, Oliver set a new record last night. He went to bed at 7:15pm. He awoke at 3am, and Andrew went in to calm him. It didn't work, so we let Oliver cry himself to sleep (it took about 5 minutes). Then, Oliver slept until 5:45am, when he got up for the day. Ten-and-a-half hours is his record between nursings, and I'm very excited to think that, had he not woken at 3am, he would have slept that whole stretch!

Additionally, Oliver went nearly eight hours during the day between nursings yesterday. That's a day time record! He went from 7:45am to 3:15pm.

By reducing his nursings to 3-4 times a day, my cycle has officially resumed. There are changes going on in Oliver's body, too. Namely, his poop has started to really stink. That might sound strange, but babies who nurse have pretty sweet-smelling poop (As an infant, when Oliver ate nothing but milk, Andrew said his poop smelled like graham crackers. Later, after we introduced solids but still nursed him regularly, his poop smelled sort of like fermented fruit--not good, but not offensive). Babies who are on formula have very foul-smelling poop. Anyway, now that Oliver is nursing so infrequently, his poop has started to smell foul, too. Yuck.

Oliver started throwing tantrums a few months ago. Thankfully, they were very short little scream fests that lasted about a minute (at the longest). Very recently, however, his tantrums have escalated. When he gets mad, he stretches out onto the floor and starts screaming and/or sobbing. They last indefinitely (yesterday, for example, was one long tantrum).

Yesterday was especially difficult for two reasons. One, Oliver wouldn't nap, so I couldn't get a break from said tantrum. Two, he threw his first public tantrum (OK, it was two). When Oliver refused to nap, I decided that I'd at least get my errands done. We went to the store. He did well there, pointing out various items so I could tell them what they were ("cookies!" "apples!" "ice cream!"). At check out, the lady behind us set down her box of mixed nuts. Oliver tried to hurl himself out of the cart to get to them. I tried to keep it light-hearted ("No, Oliver. No. Those aren't for us. They're a choking hazard!"). Within a few seconds, though, he started to whine. I pulled him out of the cart, hoping to prevent the upcoming tantrum. It didn't work. He started screaming and pointing at the nuts. It was a relief when a new check-out clerk came, and the lady behind me went to the other lane. As I went up to pay, though, Oliver started his tantrum all over again because he wanted my wallet. Sigh.

Oliver's tantrums aren't as severe with Andrew. When it's just them, Oliver might start to whine or yell, but Andrew says, "uh-uh," and Oliver typically stops. With me, I'll say, "uh-uh," and Oliver just screams louder. He'll point to me (indicating he wants me to pick him up) and scream until he's hoarse. I'll say, "uh-uh," and even walk away, but it doesn't help. He'll scream himself raw for half an hour. At that point, I don't know what to do. How upset do I let him get? How long do I let him scream and cry for?

I know I'm not supposed to give in to his tantrums. I know I'm not supposed to reward his tantrums. We talked to the doctor about tantrums a little bit at his 12-month well visit, but all she really said was that it's important not to give into tantrums because they'll just escalate and get worse as he gets older.

Andrew tried to talk to some people at work about tantrums. They just basically told him they "wait them out." I guess the message is consistant, but, really, how long can I let my 12-month-old cry and scream for? This morning, I vowed to be strong. Every time he started screaming and crying, I said, "Uh-uh, we don't throw tantrums," and I walked away. He continued to scream and cry. When there was even a 5 second lull in the cries, I'd walk over and say happily, "Are you done?" and reach out to pick him up. He'd start screaming, and so I'd say, "Uh-uh, we don't throw tantrums," and I walked away. This lasted about 30 minutes. I felt like a terrible mother for letting him scream himself hoarse. At this point, his voice was raw, and he was saying, "Mamamamamama." Not knowing what to do, I waited until he paused his crying to breathe, and then I picked him up and soothed him, pretending like his tantrum was over. I said, "Good boy. See, we don't cry."

I'm worried all I did was teach him to get more upset. I don't know. I want to be a good mother to him, and I want to guide him into his childhood years so he can become a little boy who doesn't need to throw a fit to get what he wants, who can communicate effectively, and who can calm himself. However, I also want him to know he's loved and to know his parents will always be there for him.

Oliver throws his tantrums for two reasons. The first is when he can't do something. For example, he threw a tantrum today because he wasn't able to turn the dial on the washing machine. He also threw a tantrum when he couldn't get the lid on perfectly on his toy cookie jar. The second reason he throws tantrums is for me to hold him. For example, this morning, I held him as I brewed coffee and toasted his morning waffle. I held him as I wiped the counter tops and pulled out his high chair. The moment I set him down, though, to change the paper towel roll, he started screaming. When I'm around, he wants to be held all the time. Sometimes, he does this specific thing: I'm holding him, and he "dive-bombs" out of my arms, reaching to the ground. I set him down. He reaches up to me and starts screaming. I pick him up, he stops screaming, and then he tries to dive out of my arms again. It's not logical (I think to myself, "Which is it? Do you want up or down?"), but I know he's 12-months old and isn't a logical person yet. Still, it's frustrating for me when I know there's no solution to that problem.

Have any of you guys had tantrum-throwers? I know some kids throw more tantrums than others (I was a big tantrum thrower as a toddler. My mom would have to close the door, and I'd pull out all the clothes out of my drawers and throw them around the room, screaming, and throw furniture!). I'm really hoping someone out there has advice for a very young tantrum thrower.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Yes, I understand that five hours is technically considered "sleeping through the night." I think the reason for that is because, at five hours, a baby must have soothed himself/herself to sleep during that time. Oliver has been sleeping through the night since he was a few months old, if you look at it from that standpoint. Back then, we did. Now, however, we're ready for him to sleep from the time we lay him in the crib until the time he's awake for the day.

It's been less than a week since we started pushing his middle-of-the-night feeding back, and he's now going about 9 to 10 hours between bed time and his nursing. Previously, he was going from about 7.5 hours to 9 hours.

Speaking of nursings, his weaning has been going well. Oliver is currently nursing 3-4 times a day! Yesterday, for example, he nursed at 4am (which seems early, but it was the end of Daylight Savings Time), 7:30am (because we had some driving to do, and I wasn't sure how long we'd be gone for), 1pm, and 7pm. Then, he did a big stretch from 7pm to 4:45am. Go, Ollie, go!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Andrew and I decided that Oliver is ready to forgo his 3-4am feeding. That feeding hasn't been too much of a bother, and sleep training is. However, I've come to realize that Oliver will be in a big boy bed in a few months, and if he can't sleep through the night then, then he'll be crawling into bed with us. I don't want that, and, so, it's time.

After going to bed at 7:30pm, Oliver woke at 3:15am. That's a little on the early side, which was good because I knew he couldn't be too hungry. Andrew got up and walked him and then put him back in the crib. Oliver went ballistic. I waited five minutes, and then I went into his nursery, laid him back down, put my hand on his belly, and sang him the ABC song. Oliver was relatively calm, but once I whispered, "Good night, sleep tight," he stood up screaming. Andrew and I alternated going into Oliver's room to calm him every 10-12 minutes after that. At 4:15am, I wanted to give in, even though I knew it would undo the last hour's worth of work. Andrew said that we should give him until 4:30am, and I agreed. Oliver fell asleep at about 4:25am. He slept until 6:15am! He did it! That's the longest he's ever gone without nursing, and the oldest he's ever been for sleep training. I'm so proud, and I'm starting to get really excited over the idea of uninterrupted sleep.

My only regret is that Oliver goes in for his vaccinations today, and I'm worried we should have waited a couple more nights.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I haven't counted "Mooooom" as Oliver's first word because I wasn't convinced he knew what it meant. Every baby makes the sound "mamamamma" and "babababa" and "dadaddada." I haven't counted him repeating sounds I make, either. For example, I can say, "Mama," and he'll repeat it, but that doesn't mean he knows what it means. So, I don't count it.

Oliver started pointing to things with his index finger last week, and since then, we name everything he points to. He loves it! He points to the microwave all the time, and he points to his cup when he wants water. Anyway, we recently started quizzing him, and I was delighted to learn he'd retained so many words! Almost every time we say, "microwave," he points to it. I'd estimate he points to the fan when we say "fan" two-thirds of the time. For the first time today, Andrew said to Oliver, "Can you point to the Cheerios?" and he did!

The reason I'm blogging now is because Andrew came home and was playing with Oliver. He said, "Where's the microwave?" and Oliver pointed to it. Then, Andrew said, "Where's Mom?" and he pointed to me. Oliver knows that I'm Mom! I can't remember the last time anything meant so much. I teared up and clapped for Oliver. I'm Mom :)

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About Me

My name is Becky. I'm a very happily married woman, mother to a toddler boy and infant girl. Motherhood is fun and challenging and tiring and wonderful. My blog follows my adventures in motherhood and the struggles of living off of one income. It started as a blog for other moms, but quickly became a recording of my kids' childhoods for them to enjoy one day.