Tag: Humility

I had one of those terrible moments the other night. You know, the ones where you crush the spirit of your child and know it. It’s awful.

I had just sat down with my husband to pray Night Prayer after a long, harrowing day. I was exhausted from the previous night’s insomnia, stressed about our house not selling, and anxious about the up-coming school year. All I wanted to do was pray (i.e. whine about my problems to Jesus) without interruptions from my children.

Alas, this was not meant to be. We hadn’t even made it through the opening prayer and up bounces one boy yelling, “Mom, he wrecked my lego set!” And then 30 seconds later, the 5-year-old runs up crying, “Mom, she pushed me right here. It really hurts. I don’t understand why she has to do that. I was just trying to brush her hair…”

Now, I made it through these interruptions without losing it, but barely. Then up walks my eldest and asks with a merry twinkle in her eye, “Mom and Dad? Will you come downstairs? We have a surprise for you!” I turned toward her, looked her straight in the eye, and firmly said, “No.” She was immediately taken aback. She slowly turned around, her shoulders slumped, and I could hear a sigh of true disappointment. I had really hurt her. She was so excited to show us something, and I had resolutely pushed her aside.

I had a choice in that moment. I could persevere in my obstinate insistence on my will to avoid the children, or I could humble myself before Jesus, admit my wrong behavior, and agree to go see the “surprise.” I could feel my husband silently pleading with me with his eyes, and so I called after her, “Wait! We’ll come down after prayer to see your surprise.”

It was the right choice, even though I had to sacrifice my ideal of a quiet night. The children had made up a little play for us, and it was beautiful. They had made a special spot for us to sit and commenced singing and dancing in costume. And I could have missed it all! I wouldn’t trade those fifteen minutes for anything.

And now, there’s one thing left for me to do. Go to Confession. We all need to go regularly, and so this is my friendly reminder to all of you too:

Anyone need a good book for teenage boys? That’s inspiring, short, and hilarious?

You’re in luck. Ignatius Press has just the thing:

Humility Rules: Saint Benedict’s 12-Step Guide to Genuine Self-Esteem

This is the title of Brother J. Augustine Wetta’s book. Click HERE for it at Ignatius Press.

Notice the monk carrying a skateboard? This book is full of funny pictures.

A friend of mine gave this book to me, and I read it in a day or two. It’s set up in 12 “steps” and offers practical advice after the fashion of St. Benedict’s Rule. It’s good for anyone to read, but the reason why I emphasize teenage boys is because Wetta is a monk, a high school teacher, and a rugby coach. Furthermore, he’s got a great sense of humor, used to professionally juggle, and loves surfing. He’s a manly man–perfect for teenage boys.

Wetta even has a little chapter on dating wherein he addresses the infamous question, “How far is too far?” He ends his rant on the wrongness of this kind of thinking with, “Feel free to do anything you could brag about to your mom.”

Then there’s a chapter on impure thoughts. He describes his own struggle with this. “While reading a biography of Saint Benedict, I learned that when he was tempted, he threw himself into a rose bush; so I said to myself, if Saint Benedict can do it, so can I. I went out into the garden behind the monastery and jumped right in.” You can imagine what happened next…getting stuck for an hour and half, and then having to explain himself to a brother monk…poor guy. It’s a great story for teenagers.

I couldn’t resist showing one picture of his monks. I love that they’re lifting weights.

But he’s got great advice for all walks of life, not just teenagers. For example, he was once asked to preach at his best friend’s wedding, so he sought the advice of the wisest monk in his abbey, Brother Luke, who happened to be napping. Brother Luke opened his eyes and calmly told him, “Tell him [the young married man] that there will come a day when he will want the window open and she will want the window closed.” Then Brother Luke went back to sleep. Wetta was taken aback. What simple, but profound advice!

As a mother, I too found this book inspiring and funny. For example, let me quote a passage that I could relate to:

When I [Wetta] was seventeen, I burned a hole in the living room carpet. I didn’t do it on purpose, but let’s just say I wasn’t thinking when I set the hot kettle of popcorn on the rug in front of the TV. A few minutes later, my mother was standing before me with tears in her eyes, saying, “How much of this house to you plan to destroy before you finally leave for college? Just let me know so I won’t get too attached.” That was a few weeks after I had decided to juggle bowling balls in my bedroom, and several months after I had backed the family car into the garage door.

Any mother who has boys will understand what Wetta’s mother was feeling. How often have I lamented the destruction of my house? From holes in the walls to broken toilet seats, my husband and I joke about how we can’t have anything nice.

Wetta’s Homework

Each chapter concludes with Wetta’s homework for the reader. This may be the best part of the book – this simple, practical advice. Let me give you a few examples of his homework:

Clean a toilet.

Drive somewhere with the radio and the cell phone turned off.

Clean up someone else’s mess. Bonus points if it’s on the floor.

Spend an entire day without looking at a screen.

Now who wouldn’t want their teenage boy (or girl) to read this awesome book?