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Great. "Ringtones" for cars. I'm not even a doomsday prepper, but I'll move to an underground bunker just to avoid a freeway of cars pumping out a mix of Pitbull, Justin Beiber and the bro-country flavor of the week

The guys who wrote the software at my previous job were masters of it. I don't know all their secrets, but some of their finest work included:
single character named global variables that were reused indiscriminately, code in stored in a database that was then evaluated inline that did things like changing variable values and declaring functions and other fun stuff, 500+ line functions that tried to do a little of everything, and liberal use of copy and paste.

If your foot is falling of the giant brake pedal and you are creeping into the intersection at idle and you can't do anything about it in the 5-10 seconds it takes to move forward enough to cause a dangerous situation, you don't need to have a driver license.

You aren't thinking enough like a conspiracy theorist. These are either a carefully crafted code to their Illuminati brothers or the colonels have been removed from the earth and alien doppelgangers have been put in their place.

Nope. The jokes stop when fools quit falling for high-end cables. You have the right to throw away money on platinum cables with insulation made from unicorn horn that have been bathed in the tears of angels to break them in and I have the right to laugh at you.