This was a great poem– oppressively sad, but, hey, I tend to like literature that explores the darker aspects of the psyche. You did a good job translating emotional pain into uncomfortably visceral descriptions of physically manifested agony. You’ve avoided cliche and, in utilizing such unexpected language, returned the emotional immediacy to a subject that’s been mined almost dry by many writers– all without veering into sentimental melodrama.

A masterfully rendered, intense piece – the content: as engrossing as the dual form. This work, I think, required a lot of discipline, to keep so many plates successfully spinning at the same time. Bravo!