General Question

What to do about this girl from another town?

Hi! I really fancy this girl, whom I hung out with for a couple of days two weeks ago. We ended up making out and stuff and she told me she fancied me from the moment she laid eyes on me. She’s back in her own town now, only an hour away from here. Unfortunately we didn’t really get to say goodbye properly or exchange numbers, but we’re keeping in touch through facebook. It’s always me initiating a chat, and I’m not sure if that means she’s less interested or if she just sits around waiting for me to write. I’m in doubt as to whether I should write a message where I’m telling her how I feel (it might seem weird seeing as we met so briefly), or just stay chill until some opportunity arrives to meet up again. Whatever I do I’m afraid I might screw it up. Advice anyone? :)

13 Answers

I personally would ask her, there are many way to do that. You will know which way best suites your style. But I would say something along the lines of, you know I really did enjoy such and such a special time with you, was it special to you too? If not I totally respect that. Kind of throws the ball in her court, and clears the air.

Don’t get insecure about whether she likes you. Based on what she said, it seems she likes you quite a lot. I’m one of those girls that doesn’t initiate conversations much, doesn’t mean anything about how much I like a person. She might just be very introverted and doesn’t know how to make small talk.

@Mariah
Yeah, but that’s the weird part, she’s very outgoing and really made an effort to get to see me when she was in town. But since she went home, it’s like she’s suddenly not that interested. It makes me think it might have been all too brief to leave any lasting feelings with her (we met for only 3 days and only made out on the evening of the very last one). If that’s the case, then telling her how i feel might be coming on to strong, no? Makes me think I might have a better chance if I play it cool until she’s in town some other time. But it’s hard to do that when I’m thinking about her all the time >.<

@chyna
I might do that. I’m just so god damn insecure and always get tongue tied when talking on the phone. I’m much more relaxed and confident when talking in person. So I’m probably gonna screw that one up too haha

Like @chyna said, I’d ask her for her phone number and her personal email address so that you get away from Facebook. It sounds to me like you’re ready for a longer conversation and you can get to know her better and also find out what she feels about the two of you being together.

I was shy when I was younger, and I never asked a girl out. I was afraid—get this—that if I asked her and she turned me down, she’d then tell all her friends what a loser I was. Somehow I thought this meant that I’d never get a date with any girl, ever. Well, guess what! I never did!

Now that I’m older, I realize my fear of rejection was way overblown. Yes, I could be rejected, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It wasn’t catching. Just because one girl turned me down, didn’t mean they all would. And there are ways of asking without making it an all or nothing thing.

Like if you ask her for her phone number, and you call her, you can talk about all the things you liked about her. Then you wait for her to respond in kind. If she doesn’t, then you know your request to see her again may not be taken well. You may not even ask. But it is worth telling her all the things you liked about being with her to see if she responds or gets excited about you, too.