Tag: report generating

I don’t know about you, but I have to use Omniture on a daily basis. I hate waiting for these reports. Yeah, I’ve got a ton of them scheduled for delivery via ftp and email. But it’s the one-off reports that really get on my nerves. And don’t even try to login in the afternoon. By then, the entire West Coast is also trying to download Omniture reports.

Waiting on Omniture: Your report is loading...

The entire Omniture report process reminds me of dating in middle school. Wait. Who am I kidding? High school. There I was, 14 years old and making out with some girl for like 15 minutes. It was pretty clear that the next step was to make a move (getting to second base, right?). But you’re never sure when the right moment is. If you wait too long, you’re a loser. If you move to fast, you’re in trouble. But we all know what the end result will be: boobage. It’s a waiting game for the sake of waiting. Kind of like waiting for Omniture reports to generate. Well, maybe not. But what can I do here? When I’m waiting for like 45 seconds, my mind starts racing. And this is what you get – a post about my lack of success with girls when I was 14 and how it sucks waiting for stuff. I am Tyler’s lack of patience.

On a side note: I’m not certain of the current baseball setup/analogy for today’s youth. It seems like they have reassigned the bases. I think they might skip first base these days. I don’t know. I just have to hear my aunts and uncles bitch about my cousins who are in high school. Sexting? WTF? I’m old.