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Friday, June 21, 2013

Anyways, as far as updates go, I have a few! This summer, I've decided to stay more organized with my videos. I keep a "To Do" list of videos I have to make in the notes section of my phone. I basically just listed all of the videos I plan to make, once I make a video, I put a check next to it. I will keep the same list until every video has been checked off, then I erase it and make a new list! Little helpful way to stay organized, in case you want to do that too. ;) So far I only checked off one of those videos, (which is currently being edited) and I have plenty more coming!

I got out of school last Friday! Except I took exams this week, which wasn't bad because I only went in for the first two hours and came home after that. I took my last final today, right on the summer solstice! I couldn't be more relieved either, now I can finally start making videos again. It's been a long, stressful school year, and I'm glad it's over. I have also felt happier too, which is nice to hear, because you know I felt very sad for many months...I think it's because summer is here, and I'm less stressed now. So yay for happy Lauren again!

On another note, my birthday is this Tuesday, and no, I'm not getting a new doll, or anything from AG. I honestly don't want anything from American Girl at the moment, but hey, maybe I'll order some new things with birthday money in the future! And guess what? I still want a boy doll. I've been asked a lot if I want more dolls, and my response has been no, because I don't. Do I want a boy? Sure, I'll take a boy any day! xD I've tried searching around on eBay in hope to find what I'm looking for, but I haven't had much success...I'm hoping I can at least get one at some point in the summer, but we'll just have to see.

Friday, April 19, 2013

So...I am yet again in this awkward situation where I don't quite know what I want to tell you...because there's always a ton of things I have to explain, yet I realize a majority of you don't even read the entire thing, if not read it at all, (once you usually see the length) but, I thank those of you who are kind enough to be interested in my feelings and actually read them.

In this post, I'm going to talk about some more personal things, nothing extreme, but enough so you know who I really am at the moment. To be honest, I don't quite know who I am myself...a lot has happened. These past couple of months have brought a lot, some good, some bad, but all in all, many life changing things. Want the truth? Okay, here is is: I have not touched, nor looked at my dolls in months. Seriously, like 4 or 5 months. Sure, they sit right in plain sight in my room, but I simply have been ignoring them. The only doll I've used for anything has been Savannah, but only during the shooting of an AGMA assignment, which OHHHH no one likes! Trust me, I know. The amount of views on my assignments is so downhill compared to normal videos...but I can relate, photo shoots can get extremely boring after a while. Photography is not everybody's interest, because I know that if I was subscribed to someone, and all they posted for about 4 months was photo shoots, I'd get bored with them myself. Although I wouldn't unsubscribe, I would still like and possibly comment if I was really up to it on the photo shoots anyway. Back to the doll story: I'm not trying to do this on purpose. I still love them, and they hold a special place in my heart that can't be broken, I can promise you that. It's just...my personal life has gotten so busy in these months that I simply haven't had the time to even look at them...As a clarification, I am NOT LEAVING, most people hit the panic button once they hear someone isn't as interested in dolls anymore. So no need to comment, "Please don't leave!" to me, because I'm not.

Who saw the newish video on my backup? It's a sneak peek to what I am filming! To answer your question, I am still making videos, I am trying to manage my time is all. I couldn't possibly leave you all just like that. How could I just say, "Goodbye. </3" in my header? It will not happen. And, to add on with my lack of doll interest, I also haven't signed in AGTube for about three weeks...it almost seems like I'm avoiding it, right? I feel guilty in the sense that I am avoiding everything doll related right now...but there's worse things going on in my life right now too.

I noticed that I have been very sad and felt alone for a while too...is it depression? I wouldn't know. There have been things that I have often thought about...horrible things...but I've been trying to move past it. I'm not suicidal, please don't question me about it. If I was, I would have received professional help by now. But I think about things I really shouldn't. I may have anxiety issues too...I'm a very awkward person to be around when you first meet me. I am extremely quiet in school, and I only talk to my closest friends. If someone I don't know very well talks to me, I don't know how to hold a conversation...which is actually a really bad thing, because it means I can't make new friends. But I love my two best friends, they're (one more than the other) very much like me, I guess we can all relate to our odd behavior.

I'm so sorry for writing such a depressing post...I hope I'm not making anyone sad, I'm not worth crying over. Please just remember, I care. I'm still here, I still love my dolls, I'm here to stay, I am making videos. It's mostly my own life that I'm concerned about.

Maybe I'll spend some quality time, just my dolls and I this weekend. <3
Thanks for reading.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

I need to let you all know quite a bit of things, so please, just bare with me on this post, and read the entire thing. Thank you, I appreciate it.

Well, here I am again. You know, that girl who's always promising you all something wonderful, and then fails to complete it? That would be me. I have a lot to explain, and I was thinking of making a video out of it, but then again, it would get too long because I'd start rambling...Anyways, I am just so grateful to have all of you here for me. So many of you are so kind and supportive, it really means a lot. As I mentioned in my new video's description, I said I felt like I was acting so serious, and almost not human. If you've been on my Flickr recently, and saw my latest three photos, you might have noticed that I just wrote a simple little statement for two of them, the newest I didn't even write anything. Normally on Flickr, I'm always writing a nice long description for the photos, but instead...I don't even know. I'm noticing that when I need to get something out of my head, I just go outside and do photography for hours, that's been my habit lately. I haven't made an actual video in 2 months, that video was my Christmas movie. My videos after that were an opening video, and two photo shoots. To me, those aren't my typical videos. Like I said, I'm very into photography lately. Now, that's going to change. Yes, I'm still going to do photography, but I'm going to begin making my regular videos again too. I've been trying to film, but I find that I seem to give up on them, I feel like I'm not good enough, I'm really judgmental of myself, I'm constantly criticizing my own videos, not your videos, mine. I always find something wrong with all of them. Sure, nobody's perfect, but I feel like I should be. People tell me I'm their role model, all I can say is wow. You have no idea how that makes me feel, extraordinary, really...thank you. Because of that, I just want to make you happy. I've been very unsuccessful at doing so, but...just remember, I'm trying. I have a HUGE surprise, and it's actually going to happen! Not lying, I'm serious about it, it's going to happen, because I won't give up. I won't leave you all hanging. I'm pre-filming for it right now, and it's coming at 3,000 subscribers. So lets get there, and it will come.

I hate to make anyone feel depressed by reading that giant paragraph up there...don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I'm not going to crawl into a ball and die, I don't need a therapist, etc. Right now, I'm sitting in my room in the dark, it's only a quarter after 11 AM here, and I've yet to open my curtains to let sunshine in. xD And I'm listening to the incredible Of Monsters And Men (which you may or may not know is now my new favorite band). I have an unhealthy obsession with their album, "My Head Is An Animal" which is actually kind of ironic, considering that MY head is currently an animal...

Good news, I'm nearly saved up for Kit's bed! It didn't take as long as I expected! I'll be ordering it in about two weeks or so. *happy dance* :)

Again, do not worry about me. I'm going to be okay, I just need some time to think about my life, and I need time management, desperately too... ._.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I miss blogging! I feel like I never do it anymore...Anyways, I have some news / updates to talk about in this post.

First off, I have been really thinking of new ways to re-desgin my doll room. If you guys have noticed in my videos, I have a doll room that's just all spread out on the floor, none of my dolls have their own bedrooms, etc. It's just a small, crammed, little place in a corner in my room. It's been a dream of mine to get some sort of shelves in my room so I can make individual rooms for all of my dolls, something like basilmentos' or Agpals' dollhouse! Unfortunately, I cannot do this in my closet (believe me, I would have already done it if I could) because my closet doesn't have shelves, it's really small, and it has a clothing rack for my clothes, and a VERY small bottom part, which is where I store all of my dolls' shoes, clothes, accessories, additional furniture, etc. So obviously, there is absolutely no room for a dollhouse in there. xD I'm not so sure that the whole 'shelf' thing is ever going to happen, due to lack of space in my tiny room. I personally think it would make my room look neater, rather than having beds and furniture spread out on the floor...I would also consider doing something like girloftheyearstudios' new design too, problem there, NO SPACE. I am thinking of removing the stack of boxes I have in my room, which was supposed to be a couch for my dolls by replacing it with this:

Kit's Bed & Quilt Set! I never was a huge fan of this bed, but I've started to really like it a lot more, considering that my walls are lime green! I think it would match nicely, and what I especially love, is that it extends out in a double bed! It is $94 though...and I'm going to work hard to save for it, not sure how long that's going to take, but I can try! I manage to save for new dolls, so I'm sure I can do this! I already have a spot for it, I just need to make sure it's not too big and overpowering right by Julie's bed, because I own that too, and it may be a tad bit cluttered looking...I can always replace the Our Generation Day Bed by Julie's bed and put Kit's bed where that one currently is...Well, enough about my doll room. I will probably post something on here, or on YouTube saying if I ever ordered Kit's Bed. Again, don't be expecting a specific time, because I'm not sure how long it will take me to save, since I'm pretty low on cash right now...

More news...I got into AGMA! :D If you do not know what AGMA is, it stands for American Girl Modeling Academy, here's the link to their channel, where you can read more about it to learn what it is: Click Here Savannah and I are very excited to be apart of this competition! It truly is an honor for us, being that there were 175 total auditions! Only 25 people were chosen, and everyone who got in are all superb photographers! I have some ideas in mind for our first assignment, and I'm so thrilled to get working on it!

Next, I realize I still owe you guys a couple videos...I'm working on them...My editor still won't cooperate with Part 3 of Lost in Los Angeles, I have to re-film it, and Find Me is still being edited, and Flash of The Pageants Episode 8 will be coming soon too. Again, I don't know when, and you guys are most likely ready to jam a fork in my shoulder...but I'm doing everything I can. I've had very little filming and editing time these days, and with AGMA starting, the assignments will be my top priorities to get done. Please don't kill me...I'm only human, I'm just one person trying to do a lot more than I can handle. Please be understanding, and don't yell at me. Nobody likes that! It just makes the person feel worse, and makes them feel more pressure and stress.

Good news is that I took the last exam of the semester on Friday! That means we have officially started our second semester! With that being said, that does not mean my busyness is going to let up. In fact, I'm going to be much more busy than I already am. Starting at the end of March until June, I am going to be rejoining my school's Track & Field team, like I did last year. Ahhh, more disappointments! D: I feel like I'm always bringing you disappointing news...but I have to be honest. With the track season starting soon, I'll be coming home at 5 o'clock everyday after school...actually a bit later if you add in the amount of time it takes me to get home (I live far from my school). And on days when I have meets, I'll be getting home around 7 to 7:30, possibly even 8 o'clock! Meets take a long time, and only start at about 4:30, and sometimes get delayed. I remember last year getting home that late on days I had meets. But hey, just be grateful that I'm only interested in my school's spring sports, and not their fall and winter sports too! Then I'd be CRAZY busy all year round! (minus summer) Plus I get to be a team captain this year, because my coach really liked me and promised me a spot. Believe me, he hasn't forgotten, he asked me during gym if I was joining again, including a bunch of other girls too. We had a great team last year, and only lost 2 meets out of 12, so he is hoping for us all to rejoin!

I think that's everything that needed to be shared, thanks for reading! Comment your thoughts on Kit's Bed, and all of the other things I mentioned. xD

Monday, January 7, 2013

Long time no post, eh? Sorry I haven't been updating my blog very frequently, nor anything for that matter...I've abandoned so many things...lets just say...life's been hectic. I'm trying my best to get through everything...this coming February won't be the greatest for me, I have a lot of important things to take care of by the month of March, (personal-ish stuff, I'd appreciate you not asking) but I'm doing everything I can to still keep everyone satisfied! :) Something I do in fact use quite frequently, is Instagram! I made one recently, and I would appreciate it if you can please follow me! It's americangirlrox11.

So, do you all like my new blog? :D I just re-designed it yesterday, (took forever by the way -_-) and I hope you all like it! The thing is, I think it's very "Springy", and we are in winter...so I may end up changing it, but I think it looks pretty, all green and whatnot. That explains the title of this post...xD Also, I've added a new page to my blog! Did you spot it yet? ;) Go ahead, look up at the top for a moment and find it...waiting...waiting...you find it? xD Well, it's titled "Be My Stalker!" Yes, YOU CAN OFFICIALLY STALK ME!! Do yourself a favor and check it out! ;D

As far as videos go, I know I haven't uploaded anything that's actually "good" in a while, and I apologize. It's been a struggle to make videos, but since the break, I've had plenty of time! I have quite a bit pre-filmed, which I will begin editing this weekend. I'm really hoping to get back on a "video-a-week" schedule, like it used to be. Hopefully, that will make you all happy. :)

This Would Be Me!

Hello, I'm Lauren! You may know me as americangirlrox11 on YouTube. This is my blog, where you can read about exciting news, updates, sneak peeks, and more! Be sure to give me a follow so you're aware of when I make a new post!