UFC 221: Villain’s Delight

Originally Thanos appeared as a perennial threat in the 90’s Marvel comics during the Infinity Gauntlet saga. He was defeated by some series of bs time-space continuum laws of physics at the hands of Adam Warlock. Thanos was snubbed, and made a return just a few years ago in another series of Marvel tales titled Infinity Wars. This is the path of the dubiously douchey Luke Rockhold, and I cannot express how much I loathe watching him win anything.

The Middleweight class has been that of absolute chaos, fire and fury signifying everything. Future UFC Hall of Famer Anderson Silva handed the belt to Chris Weidmann in the extremely violent fashion of KO and then snapping his shin bone over Weidmann’s leg, Weidmann then forfeited the belt to Luke (Crotch)hold by way of the most poorly timed wheel kick in the history of time. The moral of the wheelkick’s story, is that there was no good time for it. Wait the fng fight out, and win by the cards, Chris! I digress. The belt then moved into the hands of the even more twisted, evil, and dastardly a*****e of MMA, Michael Bisping. Righteously, Georges St. Pierre (the Adam Warlock of this story), beat the blood and career out of Bisping, took the belt and then placed it back on the mantle like a man with a heart of pure gold would.

Alas, the belt befell to the hands of Aussie brawler Robert Whittaker, who had fought through the ranks of the Middleweight conference of color, yes I said that. The UFC somewhat segregated the competition for the Middleweight belt. Brunson, Whittaker, Romero vs. Rockhold, Weidmann, Bisping, St. Pierre. The only crossover was Romero vs. Weidmann.

Behold, this brings us now to tonight’s current matchup betwixt two ultimate villains of MMA in the past 3 years of professional violence. Luke Rockhold is the type of guy to show up to a face off with $5000 shades as if he jumped directly out of a last level or River City Ransom. Luke Rockhold is the type of guy to bump into your grandmother, not say sorry, and then brush off the part of his body that bumped your grandmother. Luke Rockhold is the offspring of narcissism and a modern day Miami Vice. Again, I cannot express the pain felt to watch him make progress in life.

On the other hand is the damn near actual son of Ogun. Yoel Romero, known for pouring water on his body between rounds to be less able to grasped by his opponents and waiting long after the minute given to fighters between rounds, stands opposite to Rockhold and honestly I only carry a smidge of favor for him to win. To watch a 40 year old Cuban Olympic wrestler defeat a living entity of hair gel and musk (Luke Rockhold), would bring a 25% smile to my face.

Either way you cut it, tonight’s fight is ultimately that of evil and villainy. In the end, we break even: One will rise, and one will fall. In the off chance they knock each other out or go to a draw, I won’t hold my breath.