When I became chronically “injured” over five years ago, I was forced to trade the exciting life of an aspiring athlete for the isolation of my own mind … The loneliness was dense, palpable at times, it was hard to distinguish between the injury I was struggling through at the time and the loneliness that gripped me all of the time.

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Back in the wonder years, I found being alone anything but glorious, and far from being soothing. It wasn’t even remotely sweetand delicious. Although, a close friends advice that yoga was what I needed – planted a delicate seed in my mind, and so I began to explore the meaning of “being alone.” I realized early on that being alone on my mat, in and of itself, is neither positive nor negative. This profound feedback described a good portion of my life trying to be someone who I was not – The painful loneliness of striving to be better than the person next me on the starting line or the glorious solitude of going home broken and empty-handed.

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The spiritual manifestation of yoga (not to be confused with the physical) and a deeply rooted mindfulness “practice” showed me that if I could let go of the desire to win at all costs, I might be able to open my heartand soul to the possibility that life could be sweet, maybe even delicious?!? I gradually warmed to the quiet calm of my mind, mindfully following my breath entering and leaving my body. My powers of observation, began to bloom – noting the subtle details swirling around me, details that in the past – Escaped me, like the play of sunlight reflecting from the metallic rims on the road as I cycle along or leaves dancing carelessly in the air on a windy fall morning.

Daily Meditation:

Once I opened my heartand soul to being alone, my loneliness did become sweetand delicious. And some days, when all is calm, it’s even beautiful. Cultivating self-compassion more so than anything else, softens my loneliness and pain, which in turn makes me smile.

Rachelle, Jeff, Cheryl – Sandra, Jim, Katelon, Alyssa, Susie – Michelle, Sara and Maia. To all of you who have “followed” my ramblings from the beginning – My sincerest gratitude for your kindness and support. There truly is no way I can accurately put into words how much you have helped me – Thank you.

The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter-

Yup, Gotcha! Seriously I already know patience is totally valuable for dealing with the long lines this time of the year, soccer moms searching for the one true parking spot at the mall, or interacting with “disagreeable” folks ordering a coffee. Seriously! I’m keenly aware that true inner change takes time, and why am I becoming frustrated talking about impatience?!? Oh – Maybe it has something to do with not seeing the instant results we desire in life?

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My lack of patience stems from a false sense of belief about myself. I think I should be able to handle everything in the world, myself. I think there is only one way to achieve my goals and when “things” don’t quite work out? … I become increasing impatient.

*Breathe*

I try so hard not to get discouraged when my progress is slow.

*Pause*

True change takes times.

*Reflect*

I am gently walking my path to recovery from bad habits that have defined me for a better part of my life. I’ve come so far, there’s no way I can quit right now!

Daily Meditation:

If we foster and nurture patience, if we can wait for ourselves to arrive in this inspiring moment, anything can happen.

At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets-

Is it safe to say, given the byzantine nature of modern life, that most of us would admit that we could put gratitude into practice more in our own lives?

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I still find myself handing out kindness and gratitude without acknowledging the what and why behind my actions. I fail to ignite a feeling of gratefulness within my heart that will ultimately burn into my memory … That this is no ordinary place or period in time – but rather a valuable one. Enriching our acts of “Thanks” – “Gracias” – “Namaste” with feelings of gratitude only serves to deepen our connections moving forward. I have been stuck in “Automatic Politeness” mode for the better part of the year, and I feel its time to put more meaning behind my actions, and deepen my presence in the world.

Daily Meditation:

*BREAKING NEWS* – The Holidays are about to speed our lives up by adding “things” to our already overflowing to-do lists, this is precisely the time to slow down and savor the important moments in life, instead of expanding my holiday shopping list while saying “Namaste” at the end of yoga class.

The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance-

I was speaking with a close friend this past weekend and he asked me – quite bluntly like most dudes do, what change(s) since I ended the “reign of terror” on my body had the greatest impact on my being able to “compete” again? <– whatever this means. He waited patiently for me to share my “bad-ass” – “hardcore” training plan with him as we sipped our coffee during a frigid mid ride stop … The answer he eagerly awaited never arrived. As many of my longtime readers may know, the change(s) I made in my life were due in part to neglecting and abusing my body for many years. Moving on, after a long awkward pause I finally answered his question: I get up at 4 a.m. – Every single day. His response, in typical dude fashion was: “Why?!?” – Why wake at four in the morning?

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I simply, love waking up early. I get to be myself before the little one wakes up for the day. It’s peaceful early in the morning, and the world awakening around me feels calm and serene. The subtle gift of time speaks to my soul. You have to meet yourself there, early one morning to experience it – Dude.

Daily Meditation:

We fail to realize the rejuvenate energy given to us in the morning as we rush straight through it – Rushing to the gym to count reps mindlessly, updating our social status to let the world know we attended a 5:30 am yoga class. Such is the ebb and flow of life …

Its moments before the gentle warmth of the Sun breaks the horizon on a chilly Friday morning in eastern Nebraska. With a 90% chance of snow tomorrow and a daytime high of 20 expected this Sunday in Iowa City, IA. Perfect racing conditions for Jingle Crossif you ask me. Although, its only Friday … Why are our minds racing towards the weekend?

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Raising my chapped hand awkwardly in the air – I fully admit that daydreaming about the weekend is a supernatural delight, constantly peering off into the future to escape events that happened in the past. I’m feeling warm and bright right now thinking about racing in freshly fallen snow this coming Sunday. Pausing mid sip to reflect … I spent the past few days lamenting about my lack of “training” last weekend and the last couple of days endlessly checking the weather for the upcoming weekend. Simply put (because I’m a simple dude): I actively sacrificed being this week to fleeting memories, events that have already happened, and fantasies of how “things” might unfold three days and three hours away in Iowa.

Daily Meditation:

The most memorable races, the most memorable “things” in life, are rarely those that have been planned in advance. They are usually formulated over a few adult beverages with close friends late one evening in August, where we meet the moment without any preconditions or expectations and simply surrender to being. Savoring each and every moment that comes our way.

A little over two years ago I stopped planting myself on the couch and turning the TV on for no good reason. Very seldom do I pay attention to the pathetic, dreadful “news”. I am picky with whom I choose to spend time with. Something happened in my life that I fail to put a finger on, and even now its hard to put into words to share with you. I realized there was a deep-rooted issue with my soul, my true-self. It was as if my soul, was raw, torn, ripped wide open. As if my true-self needed a “special” kind of time. We often think of time as a linear aspect of our lives … 0400 in the morning – Time to rise and eat breakfast , 0900 – Second breakfast, 1200 – Workout over lunch … As the cadence of time marches on, we fall prey to time – Time truly dictates our life.

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Bringing balance to body, mind, and spirit has never been more important to me. With this intention, I packed my bags last Tuesday and set off for a long weekend of cyclocross racing in Winnipeg – A beautiful city nestled near the confluence of the Red and Assiniboine Rivers. Winnipeg is an idyllic oasis on the eastern edge of the Canadian Prairies, the spirit of Winnipeg perfectly aligns with its inspiring surroundings. A city, simply being …

This exhilarating excursion nine hours north of Omaha, NE included boundless adventure at every turn. Between the company of close friend(s), practicing at Public Yoga, an endless amount of delicious food, the support of a large, cheerful crowd, laid back fellow competitors and the great outdoors; only served to deepen my connection to simply being. My weekend transformed into an eye-opening experience that both heartened and challenged me.

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Do you recall when you last fell prey to marching in step with time? Maybe it’s when you stopped looking at your iThingy every fifteen seconds, or better yet, when you fully surrender to a state of flow during your morning yoga practice or whilst training for your next big event? A moment in which you stop counting breaths and checking Strava for a little bit as you exercised your creative muscle(s) – that “thing” between your ears.

This is when time stops pedantically chugging along, and beingbegins. May you take a moment to bathe in the beauty of simply being this morning.

Daily Meditation:

This beautiful “thing” called life presents to us the opportunity to slow down and savor the concept of being. Even when counting the miles away driving from Omaha to Winnipeg (642 … ).

I spend a fair amount of time ruminating why I’m struggling with my “performance” when others, clearly are not. I tend to think my poor “performance” is karmic retribution (whatever this is) for some bad deed in the past, and this bad deed is the sole reason why I stink, suck – Why I am continuously sore and injured – Why I had a bad race, or whatever we say after stinking up the joint! When I look outward for answers, I view karma through a stained prism, as a spiritual judicial system, where I am forced to suffer based on some bad deed I can’t even remember that happened 24 years ago … Or maybe it was ten minutes … Pardon me as I look it up on my phone.

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As loosely defined by yours truly: Karma is about the nature of our intentions, our intention(s) in this beautiful, inspiring moment. To explore a tad deeper, think of our actions as having two distinct attributes. Let’s use riding a bike as an example: Pure Behavior and our Intention behind said behavior. What matters to forming our true-self is not the “pure behavior” that makes up our action but our intention in engaging in that action. It pays to remember, as the Buddha said: Intention is Karma.

Consider for a moment taking your bike out for a spin early one brisk, Fall morning. Our “pure behavior” equals throwing a leg over the top tube and smiling, not necessarily in that order. However, the intention behind this action could be to simply surrender to the moment, being compassionate and generous to those we encounter during our travels – or – It could be to show ill-will toward others on the trail, cruelty to your body for training too hard, or being greedy … Chasing down another podium finish.

Daily Meditation:

Some Dude (Buddha) once said many moons ago, “Intending, one does karma” … My intention Dear Reader(s) Is to return to my true self: To show more compassion, to be generous and most importantly (to me): To be kind.