Ah, being the middle child. Always the hardest of positions to be put in. You've got to compete with your perfect older sister, be an example to your screw up of a little brother, and carry all the responsibility of being the eldest son of an extremely tight-ass, old man of a father. But- you have to do it all with a smile on your face. You've got the money, you've got the friends, you've had the girlfriends. There's no reason in the whole fucking world to be feeling down about anything. But stressing for perfection can only go so far until it gets to your head. The last thing you want is to be a carbon copy of your father, but it's hard when all he wants is for you to eventually take up his job and when everyone ever tells you you look just like him.

You never had much of a childhood, always busy with this activity and that sport. And as much as you just wanted to go and ride bikes with your friends your filled-to-the-brim schedule never allowed it. All you might had wanted when feeling stressed was a comforting word or a hug, but instead you got sent to your room and had your sister start cramming the school subject material down your throat until you were in tears. It's gotten to the point where if you have even more than 5 minutes of free time, you lose it, you don't know how to handle yourself. And god, that social circle in high school was never anything to be proud of. Stereotypical private-school pompous asshole was what you are and are still perceived to be. You couldn't have a friend that didn't come with conditions- rules, or a girl friend that didn't want to be your girlfriend. You get judged to being so high strung and on the verge of lashing out, but then judged worse when you try to loosen up.

There was that 21st birthday were all you wanted to do was get smashed with your friends at a bar, but you ended up passing out alone in your room cause you just had to finish that thesis. And there might have been that one close friend of yours that pushed your boundaries a bit too far and because you knew what your father would do, you freaked the fuck out and never spoke to him again.

Everything seems to be set in such rigid stone for you, and there's nothing you can do to change it. You have all these expectations that come with being a Lestrade and you're too damn afraid of being the shunned fuck up that your brother and cousins are that you can't even give your self some space and time to think. So you come across as cold, as an asshole, the exact kind of person you never wanted to be. And you just have to suck it up and live with it

oh my god, he is so sad. i love how you managed to get the pressure of what it is to be perfect and living up to expectations (not to mention middle-child syndrome). i wonder what else lies behind his mask but i have no doubt that you will do great with him.