Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release had “numerous” typos and grammatical errors that, said one reporter, “clearly show this is a still a company under siege and unsure of its server and operating system markets.”

“Look at the first sentence – ‘Microsoft Corp. today announced income before accounting change of $2.58 billion for the quarter ended Sept. 30,’” said New York Times editor Frank Sherman. “There should be an ‘an’ before income. That, to me, is indicative of a company that is on its heels, and we have to question its .NET strategy going forward.”

Joyce Cranston, an editor at Barron’s, said a mixed metaphor found at the end of the third paragraph was evidence of operating system weakness. “They use the phrase ‘a rich set of building blocks’,” she noted. “Excuse me? Building blocks can be rich? I sense a company struggling with the threat from Linux.”

Added Cranston: “Oh check out this phrase – ‘During the quarter, MSN, the Web’s largest network with more than 210 million unique users worldwide…’ Hello? How about a comma between ‘network’ and ‘with?’ It completely changes the meaning of the sentence, and reeks of anti-competitive behavior.”