Jason and Delorah are like any number of young professional American couples. They work hard, have made a good home for themselves and have little time for children.

When Delorah is unexpectedly with child, they make the same choice thousands of couples across America make: abortion. Unfortunately, Jason and Delorah, and thousands of others like them, are unaware of what effect their choices will have on their country.

China is currently the largest country on our planet, both in geographical size and by population. But their economy, always delicately balanced, is in a downward spiral. There is little that could have been done differently. China's massive size is both a benefit and a curse, but is completely unmangeable to a fascist communist government.

This "government" will do anything necessary to keep itself in power, and increase the power it already has. However, when economies collapse, people get upset and governments get overthrown. China has seen it happen in Russia and is scared. So, if the economy is the problem, what's the best way to jumpstart an economy?

War

China has already shown that it is feeling aggressive. Although the United States outclasses China, not only culturally and militarily, but in almost every conceivable way, there is one place where China has an edge, and it's a significant one. China wins out, hands down in population. Trying to stop a full-scale chinese invasion, strengthened by their colossal population, would be like trying to stop a tidal wave with a fork.

Clearly it will be in China's best interest to attack before the next century is out. But, what can we possibly do to prepare?

Preparation

Some would say the answer is to attack China first, annihilating large portions of their population while they sleep in bed. With China's meager supply of nuclear weapons, this is a battle in which we could come out on top. However, there are inconvenient international treaties, and outdated international organizations that make doing things like that difficult and unpreferable. The only way we would have an excuse to fight China, is if they attacked us first. (This is the curse of the United Nations, a country can not do what's best for itself until it is too late. But that's for another article.)

Another option would be placing large economic sanctions on China. While it's true that China's economy is largely dependant on the United States, weakening their economy would only hurry us down the path to war, as the Chinese would only have to attack sooner to hold their country together.

No, clearly none of these options will work, but obviously something needs to be done. We must increase the population in the United States as quickly as possible! Only then can we defeat the Chinese menace when it rears it's ugly head.

Some would argue for increasingly lax immigration laws. Since America is the best country on earth, it would not be difficult to entice millions of people on to her soul.

There are two problems with this plan. Once our country fills up with foreigners and immigrants, it is no longer our country. We cease to be America and become some place that's simply made up of inhabitants from throughout the world. The second problem is that, while I for one would prefer to have immigrants dying on our front lines instead of our own children, you can not trust an immigrant, especially not with a gun.

So, what then? How should can we reinforce our population to protect the Land of the Free from the land of the godless red? The answer is simple.

Compulsory Childbirth

If the one place where China has the United States beaten is on population, then obviously we need to buckle down and start breeding.

Throughout the entire necessarily blood-drenched history of this country, young men have been laying down their lives to guarantee our freedom. Now is the time for women to lay down and show their patriotism. Any woman who wouldn't doesn't deserve the freedoms this country offers her.

If legislation is not enacted in this country making it illegal to reach the age of 30 without at least 3 children, and illegal to reach the age of 40 without at least 5, we may as well turn the country over to the Chinese now and save everyone a lot of trouble.

Special Cases

I can already anticipate the questions: What about people who are barren? What about homosexuals? Well the answer is clear, although not at all pleasant. Like parents now will abort children with serious birth defects, those that are barren or gay and unwilling to create children are simply too much of a burden to this country. Once they pass prime military age, they should be put to sleep humanely, and their working organs harvested for those child-bearing patriots who can use them.

And what does all this have to do with abortions? Well, it's simple. Viewed in this light, the only people who would consider having abortions are traitors.

Every abortion performed is simply one less bullet the Chinese have to fire when they invade America.

You obviously have no knowledge of modern warfare, if you think the Chinese are going to invade America and conquer us through weight of numbers.

How are the chinese going to get over here? On big boats? By plane? The USA has a population of 200 million people or so - how do you propose that the impoverished Chinese government are going to organise transport for the 200,000,001 people they'll need to conquer the US?

Face it, land-based is are a relic of a bygone era. There hasn't been a significant war fought on land since World War I, almost a century ago. Even nukes and biological weapons are yesterday's news.

Information warfare is the preferred means of combat in the 21st century. The Chinese are already hacking American computers, trying to disrupt basic infrastructure (power, water, telephones etc) and affect commerce.

World War III will not be fought by conventional weapons, and will have a very low body count. World War III has already begun!

I must say I'm rather appalled by this attempt to equate a murder like Stalin with the heroic American soldiers who liberated Europe. The Communists at Stalingrad did nothing but defend a city bearing the name of a vicious despot because he ordered them to do so - his monstrous ego could not bear to have the city named after him fall into enemy hands. The American soldiers, on the other hand, freed Europe from Nazi oppression; hardly the same thing as a battle between a Nazi murderer like Hitler on the one hand and a Communist murderer like Stalin on the other.

I understand that you may not yourself be a Communist, as many innocent people have been misled by their propaganda, but in the future please try to refrain from repeating this sort of revisionist history.

For Christ's sake, you went to school in USia, didn't you? Stalin was a <i>socialist</i>, not a Communist. The difference is huge. Only two of the Soviet Union's rulers were Communists (Lenin and Trotsky). The Socialist International held sway for the rest of the Soviet period.<p>Try to get this right; it is very offensive to genuine Communists.

... the worst tempered and least consistent of the adequacy.org editors... now also Legal department and general counsel, adequacy.org

zikzak changed the default posting mode to be plaintext due to the number of newbies we've got on the site. You'll need to update yours in one of the preference screens. You might want to delete/hide this comment and post again. :)

Socialism is the idea that an egalitarian society with a strong industrial base will be self-supporting and motivating, that everyone can and will operate for the purpose of the greater good. It means wealth is distributed as evenly as possible, that those who are capable of producing more in certain aspects will then allow their results to be distributed equally, raising the overall wealth of the entire society. To improve your own life, you help make life easier for everyone else.

It assumes a lot more altruism and tolerance from people than I've yet seen in human society.

Communism, on the other hand, attempts to redistribute wealth by force instead of relying on altruism. The primary reason Communism failed is because Russia did not have a strong industrial base when the redistribution of wealth began. Everyone started out poor and pretty much stayed that way. People began to rebel primarily because the standard of living wasn't kept high enough to prevent starvation or malnutrition.

The only "Red Menace" inherent to Socialism is the one where "patriotic" Capitalists start spilling blood over it. While I believe Socialism is a utopian ideal, I believe that nobody is willing to accept it. It is therefore inappropriate to try to apply it to modern society. We haven't grown up that far.

The real weapon in the war against China won't be bombs or guns or even the crushing weight of superior populations. The war will be fought over the Internet as two cultures come together in the spirit of free trade (remember that Favored Nation trading status?) and clash. We'll see whether or not good, wholesome Democratic American values can topple the godless, oppressive Communist Chinese regime. Any nation as clearly superior as the United States will win such a battle hands down. The rest of the world simply sucks ass in comparison.

I think you mean "Republican American values." Democrats have no values; they are Godless socialists who intend to enslave us all. From a strictly Constitutional perspective, one can make the argument that the Democratic party is illegal and should be disbanded by force.

Certainly the godless liberals known as the Democratic Party are perhaps one step removed from the tyrannical precepts of Communism. These unpatriotic simpletons actually believe in free expression, free speech and privacy over security! What could be more unAmerican than that? However, my reference of "democracy" was intended as a verb rather than a noun.

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective
companies.
Comments are owned by the Poster. The Rest ® 2001, 2002, 2003 Adequacy.org.
The Adequacy.org name, logo, symbol, and taglines "News for Grown-Ups", "Most
Controversial Site on the Internet", "Linux Zealot", and "He just loves Open Source
Software", and the RGB color value: D7D7D7 are trademarks of Adequacy.org. No part
of this site may be republished or reproduced in whatever form without prior written
permission by Adequacy.org and, if and when applicable, prior written permission by
the contributing author(s), artist(s), or user(s). Any inquiries are directed to
legal@adequacy.org.