im crying out for help but my mom doesnt notice

everyday i tell my mom i want to kill myself.
everything we talk about i turn into negative
i take my pills. i write everyday on how i feel.
i go for walks. i listen to soothing music. i have tried everything to help myself. nothing is helping anymore.
i told my mom for winter break i wanted to stay in the hospital.
she said no because she would miss me and i would hate it. i know thats true but i need to get better. i want them to take tests on me to see if there is something wrong with my stomach. thats why im depressed everyday.
i feel sick to my stomach everyday and throwing up is my worst fear so it controls me all day and everyday.
it never used to be this bad. its getting so difficult that i really dont want to live anymore. well i want to live but not like this.
so the thing is i tell her everyday i want to die. i cry to her everyday. i tell her everything and she still hasnt done anything about it.
today she told me she is scared everyday to wake up because she thinks im gonna be dead.
doesnt that mean something?
doesnt that mean i need more help than you can offer?

I had a silimlar ish thing. I had chronic stomach issues and for like two or three years, i tried everything to combat them. I went to the doctors and they did the usual test's etc. It turns out its was anxiety, causing the issues. I went on meds and in a little over a month on this med almost all stomach issues were gone. I would definatly go to your doctor and possibly look into it being anxiety, if that fits you symtoms, mention that it could be that to your doctor, it was over a year before went on anxiety meds.
The anxiety med i am on are also anti depressants so i think they would help you if its that. Please go and see you doctor.

If your mum does not lsten to your crys you should seek help else where, i sound like a parrot, but yes book a doctors appointment.

i am 19. i dont have a license or a car so shes the one that takes me places. like to and from college =/
i really do think my stomach aches are from anxiety mostly.
i have also been getting diarea =/ so if anxiety is the case it must be realllly bad =/
im taking prozac right now

Yeah i was getting diarrhea and that.
I would suggest you talk to your doctor and let them know the prozac is not working for you. I suspect your doctor will likely increase your meds depending on what you are on already, possible suggest they try you on citalopram, i am on citalopram, i find it works really well. They started me on 20mg which didn't help that much, i got to 30mg and it seems to work well for me. I should note it took at least a month for me to feel anything on the 20mg so expect a wait if you can get on that and a bit longer if they the raise you to 30 mg. It works very well for me, my tummy issues are almost completly gone.
I hope things work out for you, if you get chance please let us know how things go. Best wishes, feel free to pm anytime.

everyday i tell my mom i want to kill myself.
everything we talk about i turn into negative
i take my pills. i write everyday on how i feel.
i go for walks. i listen to soothing music. i have tried everything to help myself. nothing is helping anymore.
i told my mom for winter break i wanted to stay in the hospital.
she said no because she would miss me and i would hate it. i know thats true but i need to get better. i want them to take tests on me to see if there is something wrong with my stomach. thats why im depressed everyday.
i feel sick to my stomach everyday and throwing up is my worst fear so it controls me all day and everyday.
it never used to be this bad. its getting so difficult that i really dont want to live anymore. well i want to live but not like this.
so the thing is i tell her everyday i want to die. i cry to her everyday. i tell her everything and she still hasnt done anything about it.
today she told me she is scared everyday to wake up because she thinks im gonna be dead.
doesnt that mean something?
doesnt that mean i need more help than you can offer?

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Emily, are you sure that your mother can afford to send you into hospital? She may be having money worries or something.
Also, could you try to be a bit more patient with her? Motherhood does not come with a golden rule book to follow and mothers make mistakes no matter how much they try. She sounds like she's seriously stressed out and that, plus the fact that you're her daughter, may be stopping her from being objective
I'm sure the stomach problems are anxiety. Can you learn some calming techniques. It's not going to get better overnight, it will take months of practise but it will work in the end
xxxx

that will put stress on my mom still. cause when i was in the hospital i would cry to her on the phone saying i wanted to go home. so its like i cant win with myself. idk what i really want. but i know i need help.

that will put stress on my mom still. cause when i was in the hospital i would cry to her on the phone saying i wanted to go home. so its like i cant win with myself. idk what i really want. but i know i need help.

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Okay Emily, take a deep calming breath because you're probably not going to like what I'm going to say.
You need to start taking responsibility for yourself.
You're not a child anymore, you're 19. This isn't about your mother, it's about you and only you can make the difference in how you feel.
If you think you need to be in hosptial, then go into hospital but don't be phoning your mother saying you want to be home because it's your choice to be in the hospital.
Stop and think about how much your actions are stressing your mother. Do you really want to do that?
I think that you're so used to doing negative behaviour patterns that you don't even know that you're doing them. 'I'm crying out for help but my mom doesn't notice.' - actually this sentance isn't true is it? You don't need your mom to notice, you're old enough and intelligent enough to go and get help for yourself. Do you really want the help or do you want more attention from your mother?
You're not doing anything that I haven't done in the past but you have to get past this behaviour. You need to take responsibility for your own health and your own healing path.
I'm sorry to sound harsh but please think about what I've written.
Sending hugs
xxxx