I wasn't trying to hurt you this was just what i was feeling, and i thought you should know since this is your new life. You really hurt me on a personal level, and i hate how you can always do that but i can't.

Nope i just can't do that to my best friend, I can't tell you that you're terrified of not having an image and hate the thought of not having a man in your life. No i can't tell you that you are basically the product everybody else's ideas. I would never tell you that because i would never want to hurt you i always circle those thoughts, but would never say them because i love you and i don't want you to have another "call for help".

I am someone. you really pissed me off yesterday but most of all you hurt me so fucking much I hate you for that right now. I've put more into this friendship then you ever have, and you don't even give a ...

Ever since I was young my friends have been my true family. My friends are my family. I feel like my friends are letting me down lately though.

Friendship is a responsibility. Close friendships anyway. I'm always there for my friends. I always have been. I always will be. I don't feel like those who should be there for me are there the way I want them to be. I want to be the person my friends call in the middle of the night. I don't know who to call in the middle of the night and it makes me sad. {end story.}

I've been so happy lately, everything feels good like I'm finally on my way. My best-friend is not happy and is going through a really hard time. The difference in how we are feeling is making it hard to be close. We always share everything and now we're both holding back. {end story}

When the playing field seems unlevel - for whatever combination of reasons - it can really stress a relationship. This ever happen with you?

This story's heartbreaking. The writer's best friend has been in and out of hospitals because she's been self-harming and is suicidal. And as most of us can probably relate, when someone we love is hurting - we can feel the pain and hurt as if it were ours. And sometimes it is. This is but a small part of her story:
I feel worse everyday, I hate waking up only to discover my dreams are better than reality- my crush is there, my friend is happy, and if my dreams are what Heaven's like, then God just let me die. I love my best friend, and it's literally KILLING me that she wants to kill herself.... and I have the feeling she's really NOT getting better. {end story}.

What words can you offer, what experiences or stories can you share that might help? Have you ever loved someone - whether a friend, a parent, a child, a grandparent, a sibling - who is struggling as this writer's friend is? Did you feel it as acutely as she does? How'd you ...

This is a cut and paste from an email we got from our 5 yo's teachers re Valentine's Day at School. Why are we sharing a note from Pre-K? Well, because we love it and we love it because, in our opinion, this is how we raise empathic, conscious, caring and loving children and people. Let us know what you think in the comments below. The lessons here are relevant - again, we think - at any and every stage of our lives.

Parents:

We will have a Valentine Factory set up in the room next Tuesday! This special day is a celebration of friendships. Friends help everyone feel special and cared for.

During center time, each child will decorate a special bag for their Valentine cards and they will be able to make Valentines for family, friends, and any special people in their lives.

If your child would like to bring Valentine cards from home to pass out to their classmates please:

*Do not address each Valentine personally. This way your child will be able to pass out their Valentines independently.

Friends. Sometimes they're the people who make it all worthwhile and sustain our happy, and sometimes, well, they just seem to hate on it. Here's one reader's story:

i always try to be the best friend i can be to everyone i meet. i never back out of plans, or stand people up. i always call my friends to make plans, and i always attend events that my friends throw. you would think after putting so much effort into my friendships, i would receive the same treatment in return...after all didn't our moms teach us to "treat others as you wish to be treated...{end story}

This really resonated for us here @OOC HQ, because we too take the responsibilities of friendship really seriously, and like our writer, haven't always found our friends reciprocating. And that can hurt. A lot. What kind of friend are you to yours? What kind of friend are they to you? When you think about what friends should mean to and do for each other....what comes to mind? Your friends ever disappoint you?

I've liked my best friend for the better part of two years. I may even love him, but he'll never look at me like that.

The disgusting thing is, instead of getting upset that he doesn't like me, I'm angry at myself that I haven't gotten over it yet. {end story}

You ever loved - or been loved - by a bestie, or a boss, or a cousin, or anyone who for some reason, whatever reason, was never going to look at you like that? Talk about hating on your happy. How'd you deal with it? Like our writer, were you mad at you for not getting over it?

We first bumped into these amazing images of teenaged girls a few months back, all of which can be found in Please Read (If At All Possible): The Girl Project, by Kate Engelbrecht.

Since we both like a good cliche and happen to believe that a picture can actually be worth 1000 words, we'll be featuring a handful of images from the book over the next week. We're hoping you'll share with us what words (even if not 1000 of them) come to mind...what they make you think of, and how they make you feel.

Our first reactions here @OOC HQ, will serve as the titles for these posts.

To check out more of The Girl Project and Kate's work, please also check out:

When I was 14 years old, my best friend decided to spread rumors around my whole school about me. Saying I had slept with some guy I just met, got pregnant, then aborted the baby. I did NONE of those things.

But the school believed the rumors, I guess lies were more fun then the truth. Girls we yelling at me, punching me, spitting on me, calling me names.. boys where sexually harrasing me, pushing me into walls, calling me names. I got really depressed with no friends and the school hating me. I grew suicidal.

Then I started talking to a counselor and got help. I was a victim of girl on girl meanness, and I'm not the only one. But I am one who survived it. And i say that lightly. Although I am ok now, I remember what state I was in. Life's tuff for everyone, no girl or guy has to make it tougher for anyone. No one deserves it. never will. {end story.}

"I am absolutely tired of so-called friends calling me a liar. I mean really, who needs to know every single detail of a person's life?!

I don't tell you a few things and that suddenly makes me a mysterious liar who you can't trust...well you can take that bull somewhere else cause I will not be putting up with it. Oh and next time you're in need of a good friend remember I'm a liar you can't trust." Do you ever lie to your friends? About what?

"I'm tired of being blamed for my friend's depression. He wanted to date me, I said no, and now he's in the pits of despair. Which happens with rejection, we've all felt it. But he's actually going around telling people that I put him in his state of depression, not the act of being rejected. He's even going so far as making stuff up about me and trying to get our mutual friends to side with him by way of these lies. I didn't do anything to him. I merely said "I don't think it would work out" and in a very polite tone too. What he's telling everyone: "She's destroying me. Every time I'm with her, she smothers my soul". I'm sorry he's hurt, I honestly am. But I'm tired of him blaming me for his feelings. I can't help that I don't think we're compatible romantically and it's not my problem that he was so attached to the idea. He put himself in this depression, my rejection of him may have contributed to his feeling ...

"you were my best friend. i told you everything and i did anything for you. i completely trusted you, and i trusted you not to talk behind my back,trusted you to not tell my secrets,not to lie to our mutual friends about my life. i trusted you because we were best friends,

i never said one damn bad word about you,but you screwed me over. friends improve our life,but you only showed me how evil and cruel some people are. thanks to you i am paranoid and worried that people will take what i say,and spin it. i see the world differently, and now my view is tainted. you fucked my perception and now i trust no one, all because you wanted to be seen in a better light. i will keep being polite to you,but i learned from my mistake, you wont ever take fucking advantage of me ever again." ...