Sunday, December 30, 2012

So I'm a little slow but I have 2...yes 2 My Memories AMAZING software to giveaway in a jiffy!! If you have missed the last couple giveaways then read here all about what you an do with this awesome software!

So how do you win? Leave a quick comment with only 1...I have many but you only have to share 1...new years resolutions or something you want to improve or just accomplish in this brand spanking new year! And since there will be 2 winners, I thought I will give you 2 chances to win. If you aren't a follower of my blog start following...and if you already are a rock star follower just leave a comment saying that you are or that you are now following! That will put your name in for 2 chances in this random drawing. GOT IT!

You want this software so you can download all the fun freebies that I post to use with your software. Remember...If you aren't the winner remember there is a coupon code
STMMMS234 to get $10 offthat you can use at
checkout to buy the software ANY time and get it for a whopping $30 instead of $40.

Do it fast cuz I will pick the 2 lucky winners bright and early on the NEW YEARS DAY...only 2 days...Where in the world has time gone?! SERIOUSLY!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Our Christmas looks VERY different I'm sure then any other family out there with a 4 year old. We tried out best to make it feel like it should be...but it didn't work. Dakota had more of a sad day then he has in awhile so that was hard BUT even though for a split second I wanted to feel bad for myself I didn't.

I truly enjoyed and focused my thoughts on what Christmas is all about...Christ! And that is ALL that mattered today. It didn't matter that I woke up at 6:45 to a screaming 4 year old instead of a super excited and anxious kid wondering what Santa brought. It didn't matter that Dakota cared less about what was in his stocking.

Christ came into the world today to bring us PEACE, HOPE, and JOY and that is what made me happy today!!!

My sister Shana teaches the Young Woman of her ward and she asked me to write a brief little something on how Christ has helped me through my journey that she could share with them last Sunday. I appreciated this opportunity especially at this time because it allowed me to reflect on my Savior and his love for me.

I thought I would share it on this special day and encourage anyone that reads this to think about how Christ has helped you as well through your life's journey. ;)

HOW CHRIST HAS HELPED ME THROUGH MY JOURNEY

It's hard to pinpoint just 1 exact thing how Christ has
helped me. It has been a long process and I continually lean on him still EVERY
day to help me get through each day. One of the most significant times when I
needed it the most and when I can remember is the few days after Dakota's
accident. While he laid on the hospital bed looking not much like his active
self, that I had just held that same day...with the unknown answer of whether
or not he was going to live or die...I found myself in a VERY dark hole. It is
hard to describe the anguish I felt at the thought of losing my ONLY child! I
wondered who I would be if I wasn't a mother anymore! The thought of it tore me
apart and I literally felt darkness around me. I couldn't feel or see any light
at all. It was a very depressing moment in my life. I don't know at what point
it came exactly but over the next couple days...even though the situation with
Dakota hadn't changed much at all, through the help of my Savior I began even
through the tears to feel a little sense of peace that no matter what happens
it will be okay. I prayed for Dakota's happiness in the end...whether it be in
my arms or the Saviors I wasn't sure...but as my prayers turned to Dakota and
his well being, my Savior pulled me out of that dark hole and assured me that
it would be okay. I was able to feel peace amongst the turmoil and I was even
able to bring a smile back to my face at times. Even those around me could see
the change in my countenance.

Even though things haven't turned out exactly as I had hoped
they would and every day I still miss my active little boy...through Christ I
am able to continue on with HOPE that one day all will be well. Dakota will
run, talk, and play again and my husband will be able to see again. One day
because Christ came and suffered for me I will feel joy and all the pain and
heartache will be gone. He didn't take away all of my problems and make
everything perfect YET but he is there to help me carry the heavy load that I
feel each day when I LET HIM! On my hardest days when I am in tears and I know
there is no one that can understand how hard things are and how much I want to
give up...I know that I can kneel and pray and that my Savior knows. He knows
how hard it is for me. He knows how much it hurts to see your child not be the
way he used to be. He knows how hard it is to have to miss out on what could
have been. HE is the ONLY one that knows me and the way I feel and most
importantly how to help me BECAUSE he came, he suffered, and he lives for me
and each one of you!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

It's hard to describe Dakota's accident to people...how do you explain that "a fence" SOMEHOW...still not sure how...fell on top of my child and didn't allow him to breathe. When you think about this accident it is truly incomprehensible. How could a fence fall so perfectly on top of a little 2 year old that he couldn't breathe and cry out for help. It could have fallen a million different ways and different spots. It didn't even leave a cut, scratch, or mark on him...he just couldn't breathe.

It's hard for me to still wrap my mind around how this could have happened. The most logical explanation was that he tried to climb it and it fell back on him BUT I don't believe that is what happened either. Dakota was one of the most cautious and careful kids. He wasn't daring or crazy or adventurous. He liked to hold your hand when going down the stairs. He would say "I got you" and grab your arm when we held him over the sink to wash his hands. It just wasn't his nature to do crazy things so climbing that fence just doesn't make sense.

Because of the craziness of how it all happened that turned my perfectly healthy 2 year old into a child with a traumatic brain injury...I know that it was supposed to happen. It was part of our Heavenly Father's plan for him...for us. This knowledge brings me some comfort but I look forward to the day where I can understand it all perfectly. I have a lot of questions for the man upstairs...hope He has time! ;)

We have gone back to my parents several times since the accident and it hasn't bothered me much. They live on 5 acres and we have been out back around where the accident happened a lot to ride horses and play.

BUT...it wasn't until this last trip down there for Thanksgiving that I realized I have NEVER actually looked at that exact spot where I found my sweet boy lying. I don't think consciously I ever realized this or did it on purpose...I just think I wasn't ready...even without ever thinking about it.

Well, one of the days we were there Dakota and I were riding horses with my dad out along the back of their property...and I did it. I looked over at that spot...I felt the need to. When I looked and saw that same fence rail that had fallen on him leaning against the fence I felt a rush of anger come over me. I was a little shocked it was still there. I wasn't mad at my parents I was just mad at that fence! I wanted to go cut it up in little pieces and throw it in a fire. Not that the fire would have done anything to it but I was just plain mad at that stupid fence!! WHY did it have to ruin my life?!

It took me a few minutes to come back to my senses and remember that if it wasn't that fence it would have been something else. It was all part of Heavenly Father's plan and it was going to happen with or without the fence. It could have been anything. (I still hate that fence though)

Many people...especially little kids wonder...what kind of fence fell on him. I think that is the #1 question that little kids ask me when they hear about Dakota. So now you can see...it's just a stupid little fence. Who would have known it had that much power to do such a horrible thing?! Not me!

I'm the wife to a blind man and a mom to a brain injured angel boy! Never imagined either of these in my "story" of life but I have learned to expect the unexpected. My blog is my journal of this crazy adventure called life...the good, the bad, and the ugly. I try my best to live each imperfect day wonderfully! Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail!! But I wouldn't trade these trials for the world. They have taught me ALL of the most important things I have EVER learned in life and have made me the person I am today!!