The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.762 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Education, Public Transport, and Environment are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.5%.

The powerhouse Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,141 trillion yids a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 106,024 yids, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes, police officers have nearly cracked a major underage astronomy syndicate, the welfare administration's new sweeping authority has forced the poor and needy to shop from pre-approved grocery lists, and public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.