Stay on target

In 2012 I found myself single for the first time in over five years. In that time the processes of dating had changed. Before that, I used to actually have to call a woman to ask her out. Now I just have to send a text. Also, I could meet women through new digital formats like Tinder and Twitter. It was an interesting learning curve, to say the least. But, single handily, the best thing about my new single life was that women I dated would send me ‘special’ photos. Sometimes without me even asking!

We live in an amazing time! Who doesn’t love getting nude photos from someone they dig? But what comes along with that is the responsibility to make sure nobody sees those photos besides you. Which is why I present the Simple Geek’s Guide to Protecting Your “Fun” Photos:

Put a Passcode on Your Phone

This is the most basic way to protect your treasure trove. Without a passcode, anybody who picks up your phone can access your photos and anything else. Whether your phone gets stolen, you leave it on the bus, or your coworker picks it up to prank you, without a passcode, anyone with your phone has access to everything.

Delete Photos From Your Phone and The Cloud

Many of us have been there. You’re scrolling through your pics with someone next to you because you want to show them a specific photo. Suddenly you come across that kinky cosplay photo of you as Princess Peach that no one was ever supposed to see. Things get real awkward real quick. This is a fantastic reason to delete the photos from your phone.

You should also remove these kinds of photos from the cloud. The cloud really isn’t as secure as you’re made to think. Remember that big data dump where all those celebrities, like Jennifer Lawrence, had their nude photos leaked? Yeah, that’s why you should delete them from the cloud. So what do you do with all those naughty pics if you wanna keep them? Download them to your computer so that only you can have access to them.

Make Sure Your Photos Don’t Auto-Sync to the Cloud

This goes along with the previous one. If you intend to keep these saucy pics on your phone at least turn off the feature that auto-syncs your photos with the cloud. That way they aren’t fired off into the digital ether only to turn up on the web when you get hacked one day.

Check Your App Permissions

We all have tons of apps on our phones. Hell, we don’t even use most of them, and we forget they are there. The thing is, we often grant these apps permissions for things they don’t really need just because we’re like, “Yes yes, get me to the app already. I need to make this Ditty about Lando Calrissian.” There are plenty of apps that ask for permission to your photos, camera, microphone, and more. And these same apps might be storing your data on their servers. If those servers get hacked…well, that dick pic you sent me is making it on to the internet (really though, why did you send that to me?). So make sure you are conscious of what permissions you’re giving to which apps.

Keep Your Face Out of the Photos

Since you’re probably not gonna listen to me anyways, the least you can do is keep your face out of the photos. That way even if they do get leaked nobody will know it’s you. Same goes for any identifying features like tattoos, birthmarks, and scars. You can use a photo editor to black out or blur those things. Or use PornHub’s Trick Pics.

All this said if you actually want people to see naked photos of you, you can always upload them to the Reddit Gone Wild subreddit.