tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16235485127514656222017-08-19T10:41:17.252-07:00Thoughts from an Unconventional ThinkerNick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-71018670935504024822017-07-11T05:14:00.000-07:002017-07-11T07:26:40.908-07:00Why it's worth it<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_XRJFDmDMTQ/WV7fWkFv8HI/AAAAAAAAAVc/9mZAG8pA1QYbWpRSE-NkU7XDCtl2HQtKACK4BGAYYCw/s1600/ben-white-194220.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_XRJFDmDMTQ/WV7fWkFv8HI/AAAAAAAAAVc/9mZAG8pA1QYbWpRSE-NkU7XDCtl2HQtKACK4BGAYYCw/s400/ben-white-194220.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Ministry--let's be real shall we--it isn't always glorious. It isn't always rewarding. It isn't always easy.<br /><br />You don't usually hear that right out of Bible college or seminary. You hear just the opposite: You're equipped! Thousands like you have gone before. Take the world by storm. Be Jesus to the masses.<br /><br />The reality is this: ministry is difficult, messy, full of broken people, and not about you. This can lead us to some very hard places. Places of doubt and anxiety. Feelings of <i>am I good enough?</i>&nbsp;We may question our calling and if it's time to move on.<br /><br />I've been there. In fact, if I were completely honest, I've been there more times than I care to admit. I just walked through a period exactly like I described. Feelings of doubt. Questions of calling. Hurt. Depression. Worthlessness. Asking God why...<br /><br />The truth is I questioned if I was to be in ministry after a very, very hard season. A season that saw much pain and grief. A season marked by lack of affirmation, being moved without understanding why, and wondering why we were leaving good students who we loved and cared for.<br /><br />"God," I cried out, "Why does it hurt?! Did You not call me to this? Why is there so much pain? Such heartache? Do you have a plan? Am I washed up?"<br /><br />Many of you are or have been there. You question why. You wonder if you're called. You take a break from ministry to heal and consider not going back. You cry...for hours, days, months...you've been there. I have too.<br /><br />But in walking through this I have seen that it is worth it. That God has a plan. That ministry can and will get better. That there is light at the end of the very long tunnel. That we are called. That the enemy will try to use doubt, inadequacies, hurtful comments, critical natures, and rough patches to try to turn you from being God's faithful servant.<br /><br />Brothers and sisters hear me: we are <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A29-30&amp;version=NASB" target="_blank">called</a> according to God's purpose, by the One who foreknew us, and is using us to accomplish His <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%202:10" target="_blank">workmanship</a>! Ministry was never meant to be easy. We are called to a life of difficulty in ministering to a world that has turned its back on its Savior. There will be moments of <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+8%3A1&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">suffering</a>, moments of <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+15%3A36-39&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">fracturing</a>, but also moments of <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+2:41" target="_blank">great</a> <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+8%3A26-40&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">joy</a>!<br /><br />We do not do this for our own affirmation. We do not do this for notoriety. We do not do this to be the best friend of students or to be the most popular youth pastor. We do not do this to be liked or given gifts. <i>We do not do this to be the center. We do this to point to the Center: our Savior.</i><br /><i><br /></i>This season was hard. As I was sharing with my students about why God was calling us away. As I wept openly looking at students that I had become a father to. As I asked why, God spoke. He spoke through the many hands that students laid on my wife and I. He spoke through the parents who hugged us goodbye. He nourished our <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+19%3A7&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">spirits</a> as students and volunteers talked of how God worked through us to help them. He <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2011:1-44" target="_blank">wept</a> with Elise and I as we said goodbye to our home. He <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Zephaniah%203:17" target="_blank">rejoiced</a> as we were welcomed to where He called us. He smiled as we connected with new students. He whispered "<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3%3A5-6" target="_blank">trust Me</a>" as we began to faithfully walk in a new ministry and season.<br /><br />My friends. My co-laborers. Know that ministry is hard, but it is worth it! We may not always see it on this side of eternity, but know that you can continue to serve because our rest and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+5%3A12&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">our reward is in Him and Him alone</a>. The author and perfecter of all things! It will get better, God will use you, lives will be changed, and God will say, "Well done, My good and faithful servant." Ministry is worth it!Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-49106196531938742952017-06-01T11:01:00.000-07:002017-06-01T11:01:07.299-07:00Top 10 No or Little Prep Youth Ministry GamesOften times, games and activities fall by the wayside during a youth group night. We get swamped during the week, we spend much of our time planning the lesson, we focus on counseling students, or we have just gotten back from a retreat...err umm sorry vacation, and games are the last things on your mind as you prepare for the evening.<br /><br />But the reality is that we can only default to dodgeball so often due to the amount of bloody noses. Sharks and minnows will become old soon. Students will no longer want to participate in ultimate. And let's be honest: floor hockey has left too many dents in the wall to be a valid option.<br /><br />And therein lies the problem: what do we do when we need a game...NOW? Well living in the Midwest where you can only be outside for a few months of the year we have learned to have group games that are applicable to both inside and outside environments, but that can also be done with any size youth program. These games all require little or no prep and can be an easy go to for anyone crunched on time, or looking for a little change to what they currently have.<br /><br />Top 10:<br /><ol><li>Pull Up</li><ol><li>Requirements: A sound system and music.</li><li>Rules of play: Have your group sit on the floor in a circle facing inward. Then choose an odd number of boys and girls to be in the middle. When the music starts the students in the middle must go to a member of the opposite gender, extend a hand, and "pull them up". They then sit in the open spot and that new student in the middle continues by pulling up a member of the opposite gender. This continues until the music stops and the gender with the most people in the middle loses. Play for as long or short as you would like.</li></ol><li>Drip, Drip, Drop (May get carpets a little wet, so be on good terms with your janitor)</li><ol><li>Requirements: Paper cups and water...maybe some towels.</li><li>Rules: Players sit in a circle facing each other much like Duck, Duck, Goose. Pick on player to be it. They stand outside of the circle and are given a cup with a small hole in the bottom. Have them place their finger over the hole. When they start they go around the circle saying "drip" and dripping a small amount of water on the students' heads. When they yell "drop" they turn the cup upside down on the person and have to run around the circle while being chased by the person they dropped on. If they make it to said person's spot they are safe. If they are tagged they are it again. Feel free to use as little or as much water as you want!</li></ol><li>Egg, Chicken, Dinosaur</li><ol><li>Requirements: An emcee.</li><li>Rules: This is a great alternative to Rock, Paper, Scissors and is really easy to pull off. Explain how to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to the group. Then explain that in this game you can only play with people who are the same as you: i.e. an egg, chicken, or dinosaur. Eggs can only play eggs, chickens can only play against chickens, and dinosaurs against a dinosaur. The kicker is they must walk or waddle in a manner that is befitting of an egg, chicken, or dinosaur. Participants all start as eggs. They must find another egg and play a best 2 out of 3 round of rock, paper, scissors, and if they win they become a chicken. When a chicken wins they become a dinosaur. If they lose a round they go back one level.&nbsp;</li></ol><li>Lightsaber Duels</li><ol><li>Requirements: A sound system, music (epic music or Star Wars music is great here) and emcee.</li><li>Rules: Participants must all place one hand behind their back. They will then join in a battle with another person by locking their one hand with the other person's hand. They will then extend their pointer finger as their lightsaber. When the music starts they attempt to touch their "lightsaber" to the other person. They can "zap" them anywhere. If they are zapped they are out. The winner keep advancing until only one remains. **Note: this can go on for a while depending on your students. Some battle for long periods others for a matter of seconds.**</li></ol><li>Bucketball</li><ol><li>Requirements: Buckets, cones, pinnies/colored shirts, and balls.</li><li>Rules: Prior to dividing students place bucket in the middle of a ring of cones (we usually make it about a three feet in each direction from bucket to cone). Divide your students into groups (we usually just do two but having more groups makes it interesting) and assign each group colored pinnies. The game is played in the same manner as ultimate Frisbee where the students must pass the ball down the field and are only allowed three steps with the ball. We have a rule where if playing co-ed, ladies must have two touches on the ball before a point can be scored. Points are scored by players throwing the ball (after three or more passes) to their goal keeper. The goal keeper will hold the bucket within the ring of cones and attempt to catch a ball in the bucket. Only balls that stay in the bucket count. The goal keeper may not go outside of the cone ring and the defense and offense may not go inside the cone ring. Feel free to add as many balls to the game as you would like.&nbsp;</li></ol><li>Hot Seat</li><ol><li>Requirements: One chair, people, emcee (can also be played in small groups)</li><li>Rules: Chose a person to come up and sit in the "hot seat" for 30-60 seconds. During that time the audience can ask questions of the person and they will need to answer. This can be as surface, deep, or bizarre as your group would like. However, make sure you have a good emcee to filter some of the more awkward questions because we all know that will happen. At the end give the person in the chair a candy bar for being a good sport.&nbsp;</li></ol><li>Seated Basketball/Soccer</li><ol><li>Requirements: Chairs, pinnies, balls, and extra leaders/students to collect stray balls</li><li>Rules: Explain that the game you are playing will be played like soccer or basketball in that the goals are the same: obtain points how you would normally (kicking a goal, making a basket). Divide your students into two teams and give them their pinnies. If you are playing soccer have the students remove their shoes to prevent potential injuries from kicking one another. Have your students then grab a chair and give them 15-30 seconds to place their chair. Explain that this is the only place they may sit for the first half/quarter. Once they sit they may not move from that spot. When everyone has sat down introduce the balls for the game and explain that students must remain seated all the time, and failure to do so will put them in a penalty box. Explain that if no one can reach a ball it will be placed back into play by a leader. Assign times for your halves/quarters and then when a new one begins allow students to find a new spot to sit.&nbsp;</li></ol><li>Cat and Mouse Tag</li><ol><li>Requirements: A large room&nbsp;</li><li>Rules: Have students pair up and link arms at the elbows. I would recommend not allowing them to hold hands or wrists as it can lead to injuries. Ask for two volunteers (or four depending on your group size) and explain that one will be the cat and one will be the mouse. The cat will be it and will need to chase the mouse. At any point during the chase the mouse can link up via their arm with a group and the person who is now on the outside is the new mouse. If the mouse is tagged then the roles are flipped and they are now the cat, and the cat is the mouse. There is no winner to this game, it is more just an active game to engage students with.</li></ol><li>Octoball/Gagaball</li><ol><li>Requirements: 8 rectangular tables and a ball that bounces (we have used an indoor/outdoor volleyball and it worked very well)</li><li>Rules: Set up the tables in an octagon shape by placing them one their sides and extending the legs to help keep them upright. You can interconnect the tables however you would like depending on size you would like your court to be. Students then can enter the octagon (make sure to keep the number of students proportional to the size of the octagon) and begin play. A player serves by allowing the ball to bounce three times while everyone chants "ga-ga-ball" in time to the bounces. The ball is then live and players may go for it. Players may hit the ball with their hands in an attempt to elimination other players by having the ball hit them below their knees. Doing so eliminates the player who was hit. If someone hits the ball out of the court they are out. If they hit the ball in the air and it is caught the player who hit it is out. If it is caught out of play that player is now in. There is no double-hitting allowed and a player can only hit the ball again if it hits someone else or a wall. When two people are remaining they are allowed to have double hits on the ball. Various other rules can include: no ball carrying, no punching the ball, no shielding of one's self, no teams, etc. Last person standing wins the game.&nbsp;</li></ol><li>Death Sticks</li><ol><li>Requirements: Pool noodles cut in half, music, and chairs</li><li>Rules: Place an odd number of pool noodles on an equal number of chairs in the middle of a large circle of chairs. Have each student pick a chair and remove any chairs that do not have a student. Then chose an odd number of students to stand in the middle that is equal to the number of chairs with noodles. Explain that this is a guy versus girl game (or however you would like it to be) where when the music starts the guys must take the noodle and bop a lady on her legs, and ladies must do the same to guys. Once someone is bopped the person with the noodle must return the noodle to the chair they took it from (no throwing it must be placed) while being chased by the person they bopped. If the person who was bopped manages to retrieve the noodle when it placed down and bop the person who bopped them before they sit down in the vacant chair that person returns to the middle. If they cannot they are now in the middle and can bop someone. Winning team is the team with the least of their gender in the middle. And remember that bop = soft hit, not smacking someone in the head with the noodle.</li></ol><li>Mingle Mingle</li><ol><li>Requirements: Pre-scripted get to know you style questions and an emcee</li><li>Rules: This is a get to know you game. Explain that on "go" students are to walk around the room mumbling "mingle, mingle" until you yell out a number. Once you yell a number students must get into a group and share "their name, their grade/school, and your get to know you question." Give them 30-60 seconds and then repeat the game.&nbsp;</li></ol></ol><div>These are some of the best go to games out there, and I hope that these can be used to help you in reaching and serving students! A few things to help make any game time even better:</div><div><ul><li>Music (keep it fun and upbeat)</li><li>Prizes (candy bars or cheap gift cards are great, or leftover holiday candy if you are in a pinch)</li><li>Have a good emcee - someone who knows your audience and can keep the energy and fun levels high</li><li>Relational leaders - games are great but having an environment where students feel loved, welcomed, and valued will make these games a true success</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>&nbsp;Have a blast with these, and feel free to share your own favorite no prep game in the comments!</div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-71387151572422733452016-12-01T11:03:00.000-08:002016-12-01T11:18:16.692-08:00Time Management TricksToo often it seems like a day, then a week, then a month, and so on flies by. If you are like me and serving in ministry it can seem as if there are not enough hours in a day to figure out how to get everything done and still have time for yourself.<br /><br />I am not time management specialist, I am still learning how to do this effectively. But along the way I have picked up some tools and resources that have greatly benefited me, my relationships, my marriage, the ministry I work in, and ultimately my relationship with God. Some of these ideas have been around for a while, some have been given to me by men and women who have served decades longer than I, and others are my own thoughts.<br /><br />Take these as you will, knowing that all do not have to apply to your life, these aren't some magical fix all, but they are here to be shared and utilized as an encouragement.<br /><br /><br /><b>1. Make time for Jesus&nbsp;</b><br /><b><br /></b>*This should seem like a non-issue for those of us serving in ministry. We espouse this principle on a weekly basis to those we minister too, but let's be honest, sometimes that snooze button is all too handy. Some weeks it is easy to say "I study the Word...I prepared my lesson." Other times we just get distracted. But how can we effectively manage our lives if we have no guiding principles or truth. <i>Christ offers many examples of time management and shows us what is important, but if we do not readily and daily engage with the Word our time will be for naught.</i><br /><br /><b>2. Be protective of you time</b><br /><b><br /></b>*This is something I learned very quickly in ministry. I started off serving in a small church in a small town (a mile and a half squared) as the only pastor. Being young and full of energy I began to do whatever I could to serve the church. I was regularly putting in 40-50 hours a week meeting with people, crafting Bible studies, creating new member classes, counseling parishioners, engaging in local outreaches, meeting with pastors, oh and did I mention I was only part time and held a full time job down as well? This lasted for about a year until I went to the elders and explained I needed help, that I couldn't do it all. Their response: Why didn't you say so sooner? <i>The reality is that we cannot do everything on our own, and we must be protective of our time.</i> Time to relax, decompress, to process, to enjoy life. If we don't we will burn out, become bitter and resentful, and maybe walk away from ministry. It took me a year of healing and recharging from my first church before I even considered ministry again.<br /><br /><b>3. Have regular office hours</b><br /><b><br /></b>*For some this is a no brainer because your church requires it, for others your hours may be more flexible. But <i>having set hours in the office allows for meetings to happen, parishioners to drop by, purposeful planning to take place, and for your congregants to see you at work</i>. Sure the local coffee shop is a better place for you to get work done for so many reasons (like your pastoral discount, or the wifi that actually works) but being at your place of employment is huge because this is where people expect you to be. Our team has a monthly whiteboard calendar that we all put our hours on and mark where we will be. This has helped so much in keeping us all on the same page and knowing where we can find people if needed.<br /><b><br /></b><b>4. Be protective of your family</b><br /><b><br /></b>*This is one I have to be constantly reminded of. So often on date night my phone will buzz with a text from someone, and I am ready to respond at the drop of the hat. But my wife will often remind me that "It is date night, I am your priority." Its true. Date night is <i>our</i> time. It isn't to be interrupted or removed. Rather it is to be protected and revered, <i>because our marriage comes before our ministry</i>. <i>Our families come before our ministries</i>. <i>Because these are to be a representation to our ministries of what God is doing in our lives</i>. <i>If we cannot be protective of the things God has given us charge of, how then can we lead a church or ministry?</i> A good couple of things to do on date nights, family nights, or vacations:<br />~Put your phone on airplane mode or do not disturb.<br />~Set up auto-replies for your email and phone.<br />~Turn off your cellular devices.<br />~Don't check your email or social media.<br /><br /><b>5. Find out what helps you to decompress</b><br /><b><br /></b>*This may sound easy, but this is hard for some people. It is difficult to find what helps you process and think through the day or week. For me I like to cook, clean, write, make candles, or watch COPS. I know it is a weird conglomerate of things. But all of them help me to decompress. Cleaning, cooking, and COPS helps me to just zone out and relax because they are fairly mindless things for me to do or watch. Writing and candle making helps me to process and think. This is necessary in any job, but especially ministry. <i>We need to think through what we are doing, why we did it, and not get caught up on the mistakes but rejoice in the victories and what God is doing.</i><br /><br /><b>6. Create a Google calendar</b><br /><b><br /></b>*This sounds simple enough, but in the busyness of life sometimes we fail to communicate to those in our lives that we should be communicating with (like our families). I realized this roughly a year into my current ministry position when I proudly declared to my wife that I had to work all day on a Saturday for a ministry event the Thursday before. She was shocked and bewildered that she didn't know and further that I hadn't told her. <i>So from that point on we created a shared calendar on Google where it has everything that is happening.</i> On my end I input all my meetings, work schedules, activities, vacations, retreats. You name it I put it there because I know I will forget. My wife inputs her work schedules and important dates like vacations, birthdays, trips, etc. The point is with us working together we don't miss much anymore and we are both on the same page.<br /><br /><b>7. Have an unplugged night</b><br /><b><br /></b>*Have you noticed how technology has taken away interpersonal communication? Just people watch the next time you're at a restaurant or maybe even around your own dinner table. Count how many people are on their phones versus how many are having an actual conversation. Our current society dictates that the majority of our conversations happen through a cellular device and as such our ability to actually engage and maintain relationships is faltering. My wife and I have started to run with the idea of what we call "unplugged nights." Too often we found ourselves sitting around the television while eating dinner instead of communicating. And more often than not we would do so with our phones in our hands. <i>So we said "enough is enough" and turned one day a week into an evening where we do not use our phones unless for an emergency, we don't check email or social media, and we do not watch television or movies. Instead we read together, we play games, go for walks, or just have conversations.</i> For some people this may be a once a week thing, or it could be monthly, but I would definitely encourage these times!<br /><br /><b>8. Take a recharge day</b><br /><div><b><br /></b></div><div>*<i>I had never heard of a recharge day until I started working at my current job. What they are is once a month we are allowed to take a paid work day to physically, mentally, and spiritually recharge.</i> We aren't supposed to do office work or meet with people, instead we are to do whatever we need to be recharged. For different people it will look differently. In my case, I retreat to my favorite coffee shop and get a nice French Press and read different books or write. This helps me reconnect and strengthen my relationship with God. Other people on our team recharge by spending time with their kids and spouse. Still others go and read ancient church history and theology books that go over my head. All this in the name of recharging our lives to better serve the people God has called us to.<br /><br /><b>9. Prioritize</b><br /><div><b><br /></b></div><div>*So often our days can seem to be overwhelming. The amount of work that must be completed is daunting. Many of us take work home after hours and on weekends. The truth is that this will mentality deflate you and will lead to burnout, stress, anxiety, and performance based self-worth. This is not healthy, so <i>we must prioritize what is important. I suggest making two lists, one of work priorities, and one of your life priorities. For the first categorize what needs to be done soon and work that out and then focus on what is further out. When it comes to the second list prioritize what is important and what should have the majority of your time. Share this with your spouse, or someone close to you, and have them honestly answer if your life reflects this.</i><br /><br />With all of these suggestions a lot of them can be dependent upon your workplace and those who are in leadership over you. You could try to make changes but ultimately they may rebuff your suggestions and attempts. So what then? Are we to simply exist in a burdensome world where work and the stress of life are destroying us? The answer is a resounding no! We must always find our worth and value within the love and redemption of Christ. When work becomes too much to bear, when life gives you lemons, when you have just had enough, hit the pause button. Step back, reassess where you are at, check your spiritual walk, and if need be make a decision. Take a vacation, perhaps speak to your boss about what is going on, maybe look for a new job, make sure your heart is in the right place. The long and short of this post is make sure you are being cared for spiritually, physically, and emotionally. When your priorities flow out your relationship with Jesus then you see what is important and what can be cut back, so that you can feel more at peace with life and all it throws at you.</div></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-44359868171011740372016-12-01T10:54:00.002-08:002016-12-02T06:20:31.039-08:00What I learned from attending NYWC<div class="MsoNormal">The <a href="https://youthspecialties.com/nywc/" target="_blank">National Youth Workers Convention</a> is always a treat, and always promises and delivers so much to those who attend. Coming away from this year’s conference it did not disappoint, and there are so many takeaways that attempting to cover them all won’t be feasible but I will attempt to hit on some that I personally walked away with, and hope that they will bless those who didn’t attend and hopefully drive you to attend next year’s!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><ul><li>In order to be used by God we must submit to His timing. Which means acknowledging that when we ask God why He is waiting, perhaps He is waiting on us. So GO!</li><li>Our view of heaven is directly reflected in how we live our lives and do ministry. If our view is small our ministry will never grow because we are not letting there be room for God to do great things.</li><li>Youth ministers come in all shapes, sizes, genders, ethnicities, and denominational backgrounds.</li><li>There are tons of resources out there to help you succeed in youth ministry, and a lot of them are free!&nbsp;</li><li>If we can’t imagine how we will spend time in the presence of God in heaven, we will not live on earth like we are spending time in God’s presence.</li><li>Youth workers totally fangirl over Josh Griffin, Doug Fields, Greg Stier, and many more.</li><li>Youth workers love free stuff (that’s a given but if you are in desperate need of a new wardrobe, unlimited candy, and tons bracelets then come to NYWC).</li><li>The church of God is the only plan, and there is no other option! What are we doing to unite the Bride of Christ to reflect what it will be in eternity?</li><li>God is not done with you or your ministry. As long as He sits on His throne He still has a move left and He will move through you! Be encouraged that this isn’t it and that God will work through you.</li><li>Sand art is visually stunning.</li><li>The church of Jesus Christ is “plan A”, there is no “plan B.”</li><li>God has a long history of using broken people for His honor.</li><li>Good neighbors don’t drive through, they journey with.</li><li>Worship is meant to be the force that shoves us outside the church, not the doors that keep us inside of it.</li><li>By loving students and spending time with them, this is how we will impact our schools and neighborhoods. This will be how we make a transformational difference in the lives of students.</li><li>Eugene Cho is not Francis Chan.</li><li>Worship does not need to be and shouldn’t be stagnant but full of vibrancy, joy, and praise.</li><li>Racial reconciliation is something we must be pursuing in our youth groups and churches.</li><li>Youth workers love Instagram and Twitter but spelling and grammar can go unheeded…mostly because we type too fast and our thoughts run together.</li><li>The LGBTQ community needs to know that the church extends love, grace, and reconciliation for past wrongs, future poor choice of comments, and the alienation they have received.</li><li>Concrete can do lots of damage to your face if you fall and don’t catch yourself.</li><li>God has a heart for students.</li><li>Programs don’t change people, Jesus changes people.</li><li>Youth leaders must do more to engage their schools and neighborhoods.</li><li>The Download Card from YS is the best offer out there. Most of the sessions are on there with the ability to listen, take notes, and have them at your disposal.</li><li>The YS Blog is a phenomenal resource for youth leaders.</li><li>DYM has a lot of fun games for youth groups and youth leaders alike.</li><li>Youth Specialties will not shy away from talking about the hard topics.</li></ul><o:p></o:p><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>The joking and humor aside, <a href="https://youthspecialties.com/nywc/" target="_blank">NYWC</a> is something that every youth worker should attend at some point in their career. It provides resources, rejuvenation, lasting friendships, networking opportunities, and invaluable teaching and education. My advice to those who budgets cannot support them in going to the conference is begin saving for the future. A little money put away at varying times will accrue and allow for the funds to develop. Also, ask Youth Specialties if there are any opportunities for a scholarship or volunteering at the conferences that will help to supplement the cost. NYWC is completely worth it, and is life and ministry changing. Hopefully we will see you next year.<br /><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-40886532953430530772016-11-09T06:50:00.002-08:002016-11-09T12:17:37.956-08:00Post-Election ThoughtsWaking up this morning I was greeted with the headline "President Trump". I wish I had stayed awake last night to watch the turn of events, but my warm and comfy bed was calling my name, plus I am getting older.<br /><br />To be perfectly honest, I had thought Hillary was going to win the election and I had already prepared myself for that. I had voted not for either of the main candidates because morally I could not align with their views, policies, speech, or denials, so instead for the first time in my life voted third party.<br /><br />This morning was vastly different from what I expected. I had thought I would see the normal post-election celebrations, the rejoicing among the party's supporters, boisterous parties after the victory speech, but instead there seemed to be two things that stood out. Fear and peace.<br /><br />Together they seem like an odd coupling because when one normally fears, peace is not in direct sight. But these emotions came from opposite ends of the spectrum. Democrats and Republicans alike expressed both emotions and feelings. Neither party rested upon either one reaction but instead these feelings were expressed by people of all walks of life and political affiliations.<br /><br />Too often I fear that we allow our political parties to define our faith. We place our faith in politicians. We place our faith in security that political policies will offer. We place our faith in change or hope. We place our faith in something tangible. We place our faith in something fallible...mankind.<br /><br />My heart broke this morning as I witnessed young women I work with saying they were now scared of what this election meant for them. Scared that a president who advocated for using and assaulting women was now in control. Scared that they would become a victim and a statistic. Scared that they were once again marginalized and forgotten.<br /><br />I cried as I saw many friends who are first generation immigrants wonder if their families would be torn apart. They questioned if they should move from a land they had fled to for freedom, because they now feared persecution. They feared that what happened to the Japanese Americans in World War Two may happen to them.<br /><br />I watched in wonder as many people thanked God that "His candidate had won." I saw many pastors proudly post that "God placed the right man, and not the corrupt woman where he belonged." I read rants about how those who voted for Hillary needed to be expelled from the country and how America is once again God's chosen nation.<br /><br />Is this truly the culture that we have allowed to become reality? My friends, have we allowed the political institution of one country to define how our lives are run? Do not hear me as advocating for some type of uprising or anarchy, but instead please pause for a moment and think about what would happen if we treated the Gospel the same way we treated this election.<br /><br />Instead of posting constantly about the election on social media perhaps we should post about the Gospel. Instead of proclaiming God's candidate maybe we should proclaim the King of Kings. Instead of lambasting the evil political party that you oppose perhaps extending an olive branch and bringing cookies and coffee to those who differ in opinion and praying together may change something. Instead of stating that the president elect will turn back the dial on change for women, immigrants, and the LGBTQ community perhaps we as believers should do better to initiate change within our own churches and congregations.<br /><br />When did it become politics that changed the world? When did politicians begin to instill fear or peace in the hearts of man?<br /><br />There is only one Man who brings both peace and fear. One Man who will change this world. One Man who died so that you may live, not in fear but in the glorious hope He offers.<br /><br />Let us not rest in the fear or peace that this election has supposedly brought. Instead let us live in confidence knowing that Christ is alive, Christ died so that we may live, Christ will come back, and Christ most assuredly is in control yesterday, today, and forever.<br /><br />Do not let this election define you or your mission. Let the Gospel always do that. Let the Gospel not our political stance be our voice. Rest assured that no man or woman, no country, no political stance, no policy will define you. It is the grace and restoration of the Gospel that defines us. Today, and every day, we should stand for the Gospel and its mantra.Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-52591006460080466322016-10-10T19:34:00.001-07:002016-11-04T05:24:46.861-07:00Politicis - Get past the temporary and look to the eternalPolitics. Bleh. That very word brings such disdain right now. In case you are reading this and missed it, or maybe this is way past this time and years away in the future (if so I am hopeful it is better than now), but we are in the midst of the 2016 Presidential Elections, and it has been one for the record books.<br /><br />I cannot adequately summarize the way this election has gone other than to say it has been one filled with anger, deceit, name calling, questioning of one's moral compass, and deep divides within friendships and families. And to think that is just within the church.<br /><br />"Oh no," we cry out in protest. "It isn't us, it is the candidates who throw out all that verbal hate speech." Is it though? I abhor this time of year because of what it does to the body of Christ. I feel that during this time of year people become brazen, foolish, outspoken critics of one another with little fact or basis for what they do.<br /><br />Never once do you see Christ champion for a political candidate throughout the entirety of Scripture. Of course Jesus and the Apostles argue for <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+13&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">following our government</a> and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+20%3A19-26&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">paying taxes</a>, but never do you see Jesus hitting the streets proclaiming Caesar as the correct leader. Never do you hear Him champion for taxing the rich and giving it to the poor. Never do you hear Him advocate for either small, large, or no government. He simply says "<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+20%3A25&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">give to&nbsp;Caesar&nbsp;what is&nbsp;Caesar's</a>" and challenges us to think of things eternal.<br /><br />Our red--and blue--flags go up and we huff and puff because we point to statements Christ made, people He cared for, His calls for social reform and we proclaim loudly, "See! There, that is why I vote..." you fill in the blank. But let me ask you something: Are you simply trying to shape Jesus to fit your political beliefs and ideologies, or are you allowing Jesus to formulate your political beliefs.<br /><br />I would assert that all too often we fall prey to the former. Whether it be from parental influence, socio-economic status, the state we live in, a disillusionment with a political franchise that has distanced itself from its original stances, we allow our own self-righteousness and desires to shape how we view Christ in order to use that as our platform for change.<br /><br />How dare we?! How dare we try to contextualize the King of the universe into so small of a box. To truly try to declare God to be a republican, a democrat, an anarchist, a green party member is to say, "God here is where I have contextualized You to be. Step into my confines and fit my mold." My how arrogant we have become.<br /><br />I would dare to assert that our God, the Creator and the Alpha and Omega, is far greater than any political establishment, and we as Christians have a moral obligation not to any party but to glorify God Himself and proclaim Him crucified, dead, and alive. To proclaim He and He alone will save our country, our world, through His shed blood because no politician, no broken promises, no audio tapes or emails will ever bring salvation, it is only the Son of God who died in our place who will bring social justice, restitution, and healing to a hurt and broken world.<br /><br /><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+3%3A11&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">Ecclesiastes 3:11</a> says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that He cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." I believe the reason we are so frustrated with this election and its candidates is because we are crafted for so much more than a career politician or television star. We are designed to long for eternity. We are formed to long for something past the temporary.<br /><br />The disillusionment after November will come no matter which party succeeds. Whichever wins the race the other side will protest, and a few years later even the candidate's party will protest certain policies because we are never satisfied with the temporary. We always want more. We have an innate longing for the eternal. We have a desire to see God come and rid this world of its immoralities and failures. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+7%3A9&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">To see a kingdom where Hispanics and Caucasians live together without a wall. To see a kingdom where black and white are no longer racial divides but instead a declaration of the craftsmanship and beauty of the Creator.</a>&nbsp;To see a kingdom where sin no longer causes divides and rifts in denominations but instead is wiped clean by the precious <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=revelation+12%3A10-11&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">blood of the Lamb</a>.<br /><br />Brothers and Sisters let me implore you to not vote for a party this election. Do not vote simply because you believe in a political scheme. I encourage you to vote out of what will glorify God the most. I cannot tell you who to vote for, but I can ask you to saturate this election in prayer. To call for unity not divide. To treat others as your brothers and sisters not the enemy.<br /><br />Neither candidate is perfect by far. There is a misogynistic reality star on one end and a habitual liar and cheat on the other. Both are so far removed from the Christian perspective that neither stands for Christ in my opinion. This is not a call to choose the lesser of two evils, because to do so would still allow for evil to win. In this case I do not know who to vote for. In many ways I am considering a third party candidate which many say is a vote against my past political party. But is it entirely wrong to say I am considering writing in the name Jesus Christ as my candidate?<br /><br /><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hebrews+13%3A14&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">This world is not my home</a>, and praise God for that. This political circus will not define me, my beliefs, or my desire to proclaim Christ. In fact it has created a desire to distance myself from politics and instead seek to see God change hearts that will then change this country. My prayer today is that we unite and build the Body of Christ not our political parties. Keep God in the pulpit, politics out of it, and let us hope Christ returns soon.Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-16952638578424234252016-08-08T12:38:00.001-07:002016-08-08T12:38:51.797-07:00Break the MoldBack in the 90s there was a stereotypical youth pastor. He was a young, hip, 20-something who had just graduated from Bible college or grew up in the church he was now serving. He was loud, played guitar, and had a stellar video game collection. He introduced students to games that today would lead to a lawsuit, drove the church van like it was a hot rod, and only stuck around for 2-4 years. He typically got talked to by the elders at least once a month about the students' and his behavior that the church didn't like.<br /><br />Fast forward to today and youth pastors look exceptionally different. We come in all different shapes, sizes, personalities, ages, and backgrounds. And not all of us are male either. We live in a very different world where youth ministers have changed and grown into capable leaders and servants who remain in with youth ministry for years, even decades. But the reality is that the perception of a youth pastor has not changed.<br /><br />There are still those who look at youth pastors as assistant-level staff, who do not function in the same capacity as senior-level staff. They still see a youth pastor as the immature and brazen young person looking to make a name for themselves. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Many of today's youth pastors look exceptionally different and conferences like <a href="https://youthspecialties.com/nywc/" target="_blank">NYWC</a>, <a href="https://www.group.com/category/training-and-events/conferences/simply-youth-ministry-conference.do" target="_blank">Simply Youth Ministry</a>, and <a href="http://theorangeconference.com/" target="_blank">Orange</a>&nbsp;are helping to showcase that.<br /><br />Yes, many youth pastors will be young and fresh and looking to take the world by storm for Jesus, but that doesn't just describe youth pastors. I became a senior pastor when I was just 23 and I will tell you, that was a challenge. I was seen as the young and rash pastor who was trying to move in on the turf of the veterans in town. But the truth is that there a variety of styles, shapes, and personalities when it comes to being any type of pastor. It isn't an age or maturity issue, it is a <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+4&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">calling</a>.<br /><br />So what makes a youth pastor? The <a href="https://blogs.thegospelcoalition.org/kevindeyoung/2013/02/15/how-can-i-tell-if-im-called-to-pastoral-ministry/" target="_blank">calling and passion</a> that God Himself has instilled in someone's life. I have had the pleasure of learning under, working with, and witnessing youth pastors of all different types lead and care for students. They were loud, soft spoken, energetic, reserved, up front people, the behind the scenes type, gifted in speaking, a counselor, a Disney movie lover, a cat hater, a big kid, a theologian. But most of all, they were men and women who above all else loved Jesus and loved students as He did.<br /><br />Today, youth pastors are vastly different than they were back in the 90s. They aren't looking to use youth ministry as a stepping stone to being a senior pastor. They aren't looking to break all the church rules and upset the elder board. They aren't looking to be everyone's best friend. They are looking to love students where they are at, to be a beacon of light in a dark world that tells students God doesn't matter or care. They are ministering to students who have been hurt, abused, told they aren't worth anything, forgotten, cast out, and left alone.<br /><br />Youth pastors stand together under the banner of Christ to care for the upcoming generations that are hurting and broken. They are old, young, short, tall, black, white, Bible school dropouts and seminary grads. They are dynamic speakers who draw crowds and quiet disciple makers who draw 4-5 students. They are musicians and people who sing poorly and loudly proclaiming the salvation of Jesus. They are fallen people who would do anything to be the hands and feet of Jesus today to the students they serve.<br /><br />I am proud to say I am a youth pastor. I am not a silicone mold, I am my own person. I do not fit the stereotype. I am broken, I am sinful, I am forgiven, I have a calling, and I love students. To all my fellow youth pastors: you matter more than you know! We may never hear it, but the impact we have on the lives of the students we serve is greater than we will see this side of heaven. Fight the good fight brothers and sisters, and never fit the mold! Be you, be unique, and be the hands and feet of Jesus to students you serve.<br /><br />I am a youth pastor! What's your story?Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-25336107683343354082016-07-26T09:45:00.002-07:002016-07-26T09:45:17.885-07:00Fallen ServantsI had just returned home from a mission trip to Central America and I looked at the trending news and saw a headline that read "Megachurch Pastor Perry Noble Removed From Church." My heart sank, and inwardly I cried out "God not again!" As of late it seems too often there are church leaders failing in their leadership.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2016/april/darrin-patrick-removed-acts-29-megachurch-journey.html" target="_blank">Darrin Patrick</a> was removed from his position in the Acts 29 organization and from his pastoral position in the Journey Church for running over people and pushing his own image and agenda. <a href="http://religionnews.com/2016/04/01/the-resurrection-of-mark-driscoll/" target="_blank">Mark Driscoll</a> was forced to resign from Mars Hill Church after allegations of plagiarism, belittling staff, and misappropriation of funds. &nbsp;<a href="http://www.greenvilleonline.com/story/news/2016/07/13/perry-noble-says-he-checking-into-rehab/87038372/" target="_blank">Perry Noble</a> was dismissed by his church for his alcohol abuse and issues within his marriage. <a href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2016/march/tullian-tchividjian-fired-willow-creek-liberate-board-quits.html" target="_blank">Tullian Tchividjian</a> was let go for infidelity and dismissed from his ministries.<br /><br />These are just some of the latest pastors to fall in their positions of leadership, and I must be honest these are only the ones that we hear about because they are the high profile leaders. The <a href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2015/september/one-percent-why-so-few-evangelical-pastors-quit-lifeway.html" target="_blank">statistics </a>for senior pastors failing in or leaving ministry (for moral, ethical, physical, or spiritual reasons) are startling to say the least. But what was even more startling is the amount of pressure that is placed upon these leaders to heed the calling God gave them.<br /><br />Simply looking at the link above for statistics shows the undue stress these men and women are under and one can only imagine the added pressures of caring for an entire church body. That is not to say that simply because someone is a pastor they will fail, but we must acknowledge that as purveyors of the Gospel of Christ, it is easier for that to happen to those in ministry for these reasons and more:<br /><br /><ul><li>We tend to believe that whatever happens in a ministry is because of our works not God's.</li><li>We convince ourselves that the ministry is ours not the Father's.</li><li>We believe that without us the ministry will falter.</li><li>We take all of the hurts, needs, and desires of our parishioners and place them on ourselves.&nbsp;</li><li>We become convinced that we can do all things through me who gives me strength.</li><li>We become the end-all and be-all because people trust us and give us the room to do what we see fit.</li></ul><div>The sad reality is that failing in Christianity is a part of life. We are sinful in nature and because of that we will fall, but too often we say "no not me." I am guilty of that. When I read of Noble's removal not only did I say "God not again," I also inwardly said, "God thanks that I work in youth ministry where this won't happen to me."&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>How foolish am I to believe that this is a problem strictly associated with those in senior pastor roles? Sin afflicts us all, and we must take steps to combat sin in our lives! We must look to having the proper safeguards in place no matter if we are a volunteer, an elder, a youth pastor, a children's worker, or the executive pastor. Sin will always look to corrupt what God has necessitated for good, and we must not allow for that to happen. Satan would love nothing more than to see the Bride of Christ falter and fail. So what can we do to safeguard the church of God? First let's look at how to protect the ministries we serve in, and then how to help others - especially senior pastors - in their ministries.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>Always cover the ministry you serve in prayer. Jesus constantly prayed for His disciples and the calling God had given Him. We should do likewise.</li><li>Have accountability within the ministry. Allow for other leaders to speak into your life, your leadership style, and what you do. This helps to keep us humble and focused on the reality that these ministries are not about us but about the Father.</li><li>Ask yourself if the ministry would succeed without you, and why or why not. A good ministry will carry on without you because it is God-centric not you-centric.&nbsp;</li><li>Do you find yourself calling it "your ministry?" Maybe practice calling it God's ministry and yourself the servant.</li><li>Take regular breaks from your ministry. Our staff team takes a monthly recharge day. It is a paid work day where we do not come into the office but instead make sure our spiritual walks are where they should be. It looks different for each person. For some it includes reading their favorite Christian books, others take prayer walks or some take time away to pray, and others just get the rest they need to recharge.&nbsp;</li><li>Be willing to accept change and critiques. One of the hardest things to do is change, but we must be willing to because God calls for us to be vulnerable and eager to hear the Father's direction.</li><li>Talk to and listen to your spouse and children. Ask them for their honest input. Have you changed since being in ministry? Do you find joy in what you do? Do you spend enough time with them? Are they resentful of the ministry you serve?</li></ul><div>These are just some ways we can safeguard the ministries we serve, but what about our senior pastors? These men have such a weight on their shoulders that can be understood by only those who have held these roles. I stepped into such a role at 23 and held it for roughly two years, and it almost made me walk away from ministry. To those men who serve faithfully in this position day in and day out for years on end: THANK YOU! The stress these men face is huge and daunting; we must fight for and with them as they face daily attacks from the evil one. So what can we do for them? Here are a few ways to love and support your pastor:</div></div><div><ul><li>Send them a note of encouragement and thank them for what they do.</li><li>Take them and their family a meal or dessert and thank them for their sacrifice and love for you and others.&nbsp;</li><li>Stop into the senior pastor's office to talk. Ask how they are doing, how you can pray for them, or ways that you can help outside of the ministry you serve.&nbsp;</li><li>Ask your senior pastor to go on a prayer walk in the community and pause to pray for them specifically.&nbsp;</li><li>Regularly engage with your senior pastor. So often it is easy to revert to our silos and rarely interact with other ministers, but we must engage! Have lunch together, take breaks together, have dinner at your homes, go on double dates.&nbsp;</li><li>Ask your senior pastor to be your accountability partner. Go beyond Covenant Eyes, and actually sit down and share life together. Encourage one another and pray together.</li><li>Pray for them daily. These men of God need our love and support, but also heavenly support.&nbsp;</li></ul><div>To say that we are above failure is foolish and asinine. That is a lie of Satan and must be met with the truth of the Gospel. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+3:23" target="_blank">We are all fallen</a> but <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+3%3A24-25&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">we are redeemed in Christ</a> and it is only <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+4%3A13&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">through His power</a> that we can accomplish anything. We must stand firm and not lambaste or lament these men who have fallen but pray for restoration, reconciliation, and protection for our ministries and those who lead them. Let us rise up in prayer and humility to serve the bride of Christ and honor the Great Shepherd who allows us to tend His flock.&nbsp;</div></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-55940351395489148052016-06-29T09:00:00.001-07:002016-06-29T15:21:07.687-07:00Going to BelizeThis Friday <a href="http://eliseloyola.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Elise </a>and I, along with some other leaders from our church, are taking a team of 28 students and adults to serve in Belize for ten days. While there we will be helping to build a home, lead a VBS program, assist in upkeep at the orphanage we are staying at, and various other projects as they develop. This is my second time going, but for many who are on the team it is their first trip to this South American country.<br /><br />I am so excited to be a part of this team again because the last time I was there I truly felt God calling us to serve the people of this country. My heart was moved by the generosity of the people living in a third world country, their love for others, and their love for life itself. I was humbled by how blessed I am and I truly saw God work in the lives of our team and the people we served. In the end it was us who were served by the very people we went to serve.<br /><br />In three days I will be back in that amazing country and I am immensely looking forward to it! God has already done so much for our team. We have been praying hard for this trip and it has been awesome seeing the prayers answered. Here are a few of the answered prayers God has provided for us:<br /><br /><ul><li>Our team is fully funded! We met our goal before our deadline and people have been more than generous.</li><li>Our team is unified and excited about what is in-store for us. Tonight is our last team meeting before we head down and everyone is excited for this.</li><li>We are preparing for our VBS program and have all the supplies and teaching teams assembled.&nbsp;</li><li>The construction team is excited and ready to build a home for a family that deserves it.&nbsp;</li><li>Our flights and hotels have all been finalized and we are ready to depart this week.</li><li>God has continued to alleviate any fears and hesitations that anyone has.</li><li>Our team need a specific type of bug spray to help prevent against any Zika strain, and we were able to get a great deal through the company. But God further provided as gracious donors provided all the money needed and the team owed nothing out of pocket!</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>These are but a few of the ways God has answered our prayers, and we believe He will continue to answer more as we go into Belize shortly. I would love to have you pray for us as we head down to serve this week. Here are some requests that we have:</div><div><ul><li>Pray for continued unity for our team.</li><li>Pray that our team adjusts well to the heat and humidity.</li><li>Pray that we have joy even if there are frustrations.</li><li>Pray that we serve and love well. We have been learning as a team that we aren't going to fix a country or its people but rather to serve and care for them. Pray that we remember that.</li><li>Pray for safe travels and our luggage to arrive on time.&nbsp;</li><li>Pray that we can be flexible as things change.</li></ul><div>This is an amazing opportunity for us to go to Belize and serve God. I am so excited and believe that God can use trips like this to grow our team, and also to help others see the love of Jesus. I cannot wait to see what God does and I hope to update you as soon as I return. I will be posting to our youth's <a href="https://www.facebook.com/siparkview/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> page throughout the week so feel free to look there for updates. We also have a page on our <a href="http://parkviewstudentministries.org/resources/belize-updates-and-blog/" target="_blank">website </a>that will feature updates, photos, and blogs from the team so feel free to check this out periodically.&nbsp;</div></div><div><br /></div><div>Mission work is near and dear to my heart and I am incredibly privileged to be a part of this team and am hoping that through this trip we can serve God and the people of Belize. This will be a time to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus and I couldn't be more excited!</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Matthew 28:18-20</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And, behold, I am with you always to the end of the age."</i></div><div><br /></div><br />Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-56182766962301498402016-05-14T09:55:00.000-07:002016-05-14T09:55:38.931-07:00Kitchen FloorsIt was a conversation I wasn't expecting. He had followed me into the church kitchen in hopes of getting an extra snack from me, but the conversation that followed tore at my heart.<br /><br />S: Hey, let me get a bag of those chips.<br />N: If you come to leadership on Wednesday, you will get these snacks and more there.<br />S: But I'm not on leadership...(voice trails off)<br />N: Why not?<br />S: I'm...I'm not sure I am a Christian. I don't always act like it, and people that know me would probably tell you I am not a Christian and that I don't believe in God.<br /><br />So many thoughts flooded my mind that night. My first was, <i>why is this conversation happening as I am kneeling on the floor in a kitchen frantically stuffing chips into a cabinet where hopefully they will last until Wednesday night</i>?&nbsp;Then my second (after God slapped upside my head) was, <i>thank you Jesus for letting this conversation happen</i>.<br /><br />Ministry happens in many odd and miraculous ways. This young man is an eighth grade student who has dealt with a lot in his life and knows who Jesus is but hasn't fully committed to letting Him rule His life. I never would have expected this conversation to happen the way it did, but it opened up a door for us to begin meeting weekly together and he agreed to answer the "hard questions" about Christianity honestly. I thank God for days where ministry just "happens" on kitchen floors and across counter tops.<br /><br />The question we should ask is how do we get there? So often conversations like these happen at times and in ways we would least expect, but they happen because there has been trust built! This student has been someone I have intentionally been plugging into in small but very meaningful ways, and I am convinced that if we do more of this we will indeed start having more kitchen floor conversations about Jesus. From these kitchen floor chats we will see that the next logical step is a mentoring relationship, but first we must get to the kitchen floor. The following are just some helpful and practical tips to begin the framework--the trust factor--that will lead to these conversations and more!<br /><ol><li><b>Acknowledge them</b><br />You cannot run an effective ministry if you don't even acknowledge students when they are there. Not just on youth group or leadership nights. Acknowledge them all the time. On Sunday mornings, at the grocery store, where they work, even on date night. My wife and I bump into students all the time on date night and we love to pause and chat with them. Our priority is our time but we also love and acknowledge our students so they know that we care about them. <br /><br /></li><li><b>Know their name</b><br />It doesn't seem like much but there is so much value in being known. When someone calls you by name it means they remember you and care. This is more than many students get on a daily basis. Their teachers don't always remember them, their coaches forget them (especially if they aren't a starter), employers see them as a number, and sometimes in families they feel forgotten.<br /><b><br /></b></li><li><b>Invest in their lives</b><br />Go to their activities, and follow up with them! A huge thing with students is caring about what they do. I recently went to an orchestra concert for a few students and the smiles that came across their faces knowing they had an audience filled with supporters who didn't need to be there made my day! They still tell people "my youth pastor cares enough to watch me play the bass." Another student is into knitting (something I am not) but I ask all the time what she knits and who she knits for. She gets so excited sharing what she is passionate about and loves to come and show me gifts she makes for local widows.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Follow through</b><br />If you are going to do something then do it! Do not "forget," do not "find something else to do," but do it. Of course we will all miss things, but tell them you won't be there, don't leave it up to them to figure it out. Students have enough people letting them down, far be it from us to let them down also.<br /><b><br /></b></li><li><b>Live a life worthy of imitation </b><br />This is one we should all be doing. If we are going to call students to live like Jesus and to give their lives for Him we should be doing this as well. Students should see this in all aspects of our lives. How we speak to our spouses, how we raise our children, how we respond to frustrations (like when they talk during our messages or overflow the toilet twice in one night), how much time we spend with Jesus, how we care for others, and how we love.&nbsp;</li></ol><div>This list is not exhaustive, but it is the framework for building the relationship that leads to kitchen floor conversations about Jesus. I am excited to see what God is going to do through this mentoring relationship and after that night, I am praying for many more conversations about Jesus in places and ways I would never expect! <br /><br />Lord Jesus, use us to have conversations about Christianity and salvation in ways we never see coming so that many more students will enter into Your kingdom and experience Your everlasting love!</div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-83296182642629508192016-04-23T19:25:00.000-07:002016-04-23T19:25:20.892-07:00What students need, not what they wantThe old 90's song "<a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-a-girl-wants-lyrics-christina-aguilera.html" target="_blank">What A Girl Wants</a>" from Christina Aguilera says, "What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes me happy sets me free."<br /><br />It is interesting because as I have worked within youth ministry I feel like this has become our mindset for our programs. No, we aren't just giving girls what they want (think bigger), we are giving our students what they want in order to make them happy.<br /><br />Have you ever noticed how we cave to popular culture in our youth programming? How we have to match the trends that are up and coming? Just take a look around your youth room, area, wing, whatever. Do you have a ton of technology? Does your worship team play all the new and upbeat Christian music? Do you have to have tons of sugary snacks to bring students in? Are you always looking for a new game, gimmick, or outreach program to bring in more kids?<br /><br />Please hear me out. I am not trying to guilt trip any of us. We all use these tools and I believe most of us use them effectively, but is this what youth ministry was meant to be? Were we meant to be the popular place, the place students automatically want to go, the "it" place in town? Or were we meant to be Gospel-centered places of refuge, revitalization, and freedom?<br /><br />Many of you, like I first did, will cry afoul. We teach the Gospel, we help make disciples, we minister to broken youth. Yes we do. But my argument, my mindset, is that we need to have the proper foundation upon which to do these programs. It shouldn't be bringing in kids with lights, loud music, sweets, froyo, inflatables, and activities no one else is doing. It should be with the Gospel. The Gospel is what should be bringing students into our youth groups, our churches. We can argue all day that we need to make the Gospel relevant to our culture, but the reality we fail to realize all the time is that the Gospel will transcend all time, all cultures, all demographics, all age groups. Jesus knew this and to be frank He understood youth ministry.<br /><br />Jesus led the greatest band of youth in the New Testament when he took eleven young men and one adult, who didn't know how to keep his mouth shut, and turned them into the greatest revival in history. Jesus worked with troubled kids, bullies, liars and thieves, rebels, and many others and He didn't bring them in with sugary treats, technology, and bold outreaches. Instead, He brought them in with honest teaching, interpersonal relationships, a multiplication model, constant prayer, and ultimately let them go. Are we ready for that? Are we modelling that? I know I haven't been willing to let go, but I believe we need to model the programming Christ set forth. Will you step out with me and let the revival come?<br /><br />So what should we do? I am not saying rid your youth group of candy, games, outreach events, and craziness because these are all good things, but instead I believe we should rethink our purpose and how we do things. I would suggest four things to do:<br /><br /><b><i>Preach the Gospel unabashedly</i></b><br />This should be a no-brainer but the reality is the Gospel isn't always as prevalent as it should be. Think about it: how much time do you devote to games, snacks, hangout time, movies, etc. Now think about how much time you take preaching the Word of God and proclaiming salvation. Does the obvious one outweigh the other? Our priorities can be noted by the time we spend there. Please do not hear this as being critical of youth pastors and their programs. I am in that place as well. It is something that even as I write this I am strongly convicted and questioning how we do ministry. This is meant to be more of a rallying cry for us to stand upon our convictions and push them home. Let us put the Gospel back in the central point it deserves!<br /><br /><b><i>Become a safe place</i></b><br />Again, we probably all assume that our youth programs are safe areas for students, but I think we miss things. Bullying is a hot topic and I think most of us could say we keep bullying out of our programs, but what about gossip, sarcasm, judging others, disrespect? These things can drastically alter the DNA of a youth group and cause it to become a place where students do not want to be. We need to be a place that builds its foundation on the Gospel, and then seeks to promote love, peace, forgiveness, and grace. We need to start educating our students on the dangers and problems associated with these attitudes and heart issues.<br /><br />Another way to be a safe place is to constantly push home that students can be themselves here, that there is no judgement, that there are people they can talk to, and they can trust us. I have written before on&nbsp;<a href="http://nickmance.blogspot.com/2013/07/will-you-take-plunge-trust-is-two-way.html" target="_blank">trust</a>, and I cannot over emphasize this point. We need to keep our word and our confidences with students (of course there are always extenuating circumstances, but the short version is keep your word). We as pastors, as leaders, as volunteers, must be a source of trust, advice, and direction in a student's life and we need to be a place that students know they can come for help. Bring in volunteers who are gifted in counseling, make connections with licensed counselors inside and outside your church, have crisis care information at the ready, and talk about these issues! The one thing I cannot express enough is we need to be leaders who do not brush the issues under the carpet or do not talk about them because they are messy and difficult. We must talk about them and we must educate our students on how to walk through these times, all the while advocating our support, love, and care for them.<br /><br /><b><i>Start from the ground up</i></b><br />We need to be a praying generation. Maybe it is just something that God has been stirring within my heart, convicting me in areas I fall short, but I believe we need to be praying more for our volunteers, our students, our ministries, our churches, and our world. If we are not falling on our knees to ask God to change our world, our towns, our students, we are missing the mark. If you study the early church in Acts you see that everything they did was covered in prayer. It was prayer and seeking God in&nbsp;<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+2%3A42-47&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">Acts 2</a>&nbsp;that caused thousands to be added to their numbers. When the believers prayed for boldness in&nbsp;<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+4%3A23-31&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">Acts 4</a>, God gave fishermen, tax collectors, zealots, and the uneducated the ability to proclaim God's Word, and they grew again! Going further into Acts we see countless times that prayer brought about&nbsp;<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+8%3A9-25&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">salvation</a>,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+6%3A1-6&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">sending out of disciples</a>, and&nbsp;<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+13%3A1-3&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">discipleship</a><span id="goog_80541191"></span><span id="goog_80541192"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a>!<br /><br />Prayer can and will transform our programs! Are we praying enough? I am sure many, if not all of us are praying during our personal study times, we pray during staff meetings, at home for meals, with our spouses and children, but when was the last time you prayed over the church, your youth room, where you do counseling? When was the last time you brought your volunteers, student leaders, and/or parents in to pray for that week's meeting? I believe that prayer must be part of our foundation or we will never experience the growth that the early church did. So often I have wondered why a program not growing more? Why has it remained stagnate? Why are we just existing? And then the Holy Spirit grabs my heart and says, "Get on your knees you foolish man. You cannot do this. Only I, the God who placed you here, can!" My question is, are we praying enough? I know I am not. Perhaps if we all prayed, if we rallied our volunteers, students, parents, church staff and prayed fervently and constantly sought the face of God, we&nbsp;would&nbsp;see an explosion happen once again in the Bride of Christ.<br /><br /><b><i>Be prepared for a revival</i></b><br />Coming off of the last point, I think we need to ask ourselves, are we truly ready for revival to come like we&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOZ7IeL_oF8" target="_blank">sing</a>&nbsp;about in our&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbdJXKqVgtg" target="_blank">songs</a>? Truly, if we cry out in prayer God is inclined to move through His people and are we ready for that? Can you see youth groups and churches bursting from the seams as God fills the church? Can you see schools and towns changing? Can you see the world changing? This is the vision John has in&nbsp;<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+7%3A9&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">Revelation</a>&nbsp;when he sees people from every tongue and nation singing and worshiping God! Guys this is an amazing picture of what is coming, and we need to ask ourselves, are we ready for this? Are we doing our part to share the Gospel with those we minister to?Are we content to be where we are and just exist? May it never be! Let us be ever willing to cry out for this!<br /><br />So what should we do to prepare for this?<br /><ul><li>Have leadership ready - Get a team of volunteers, student leaders, and parents in place to help disciple, pray for, and walk with people who come to the church.</li><li>Put the priority on God - Always preach the Gospel, always give God glory, and always direct others to Him.</li><li>Be prepared to make changes on faith - Look to grow the church and not be tied down to a location, facility, program, or way of doing things. God sent the disciples out with no place to lay their heads or any understanding of the world outside of their country and look what happened. The church, the Bride of Christ, came into existence!&nbsp;</li><li>Be in prayer - Be in constant prayer for what God is going to be doing. Always look to Him for guidance, direction, and understanding.</li><li>Get other youth groups and churches in on this - Don't be an island; look to be ecumenical and inclusive with other Gospel-believing churches. God is going to do great things not through one program or church but through all of His people. Bring others in!</li></ul><br />I know this was a lot tied into one post, but we need to be willing to let go of our programming and let God run the show without trying to do it our way. Let us love unabashedly, serve without hesitation, give God the glory and control always, and reach our students, families, and the world with the amazing truth that is the Gospel.Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-8494876661099823292016-03-23T13:43:00.000-07:002016-03-23T13:43:07.504-07:00Cynical much?Have you ever found yourself to just be in a complaining rut? Do you come home and just talk about how poor your day was, or how horrible your co-workers are? Are you noticing you are overly pessimistic? Do you ever feel like you're overly cynical? Or maybe do you just feel like everything around you is just horrible?<br /><br />Maybe its just me who feels this way, but I don't think I am alone. Recently I have been feeling very cynical toward life and people. I find that sometimes I hit this rut due to stress, work, or just life in general and I tend to have a pessimistic attitude toward life. Usually I am fairly happy and jovial but sometimes I just hit a point where, for a little while, I just think, act, and talk like life is horrible and the people around me aren't where they should be. I just have a dismal attitude toward life in general, but unfortunately people become my target and I complain about them a lot.<br /><br />Perhaps it is because people are there. They are always around, and in constantly interacting with them, my perfectionist side sees it and can easily recognize their faults and then my sinful nature tears them apart. I am a messed up person, I will be the first to admit that, but I don't think that I or we should simply chalk up shortcomings to our sinful nature. Yes we are sinful, but that cannot be our cop out. We cannot allow it!<br /><br />Within the past week I have felt God crying out to me saying, "Stop! Stop talking about people. Stop seeing their faults. Stop believing you are better then they are. Stop complaining. Just stop." But then I heard Him say something else...Start. "Start loving people again. Start seeing people as I see them again. Start serving again as I serve. Start being my hands and feet again. Start!"<br /><br />If I had to be perfectly honest, I don't like conviction. I already said I am a perfectionist so when I hear "stop" or feel in the wrong it hurts because I know I didn't meet the requirements. I didn't meet the standard that was set. I fell short. But then that is when I look to Scripture. Scripture tells us we all <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+3:23" target="_blank">fall short</a>, but that it is God who does the work <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%203:20-21" target="_blank">within us</a> and helps us to change!<br /><br />Now I say all this and I know there has to be practicality. It is one thing to say "I will stop being cynical" or "I will stop complaining" but we all know that isn't how it works. We must have some ways to combat this. So after some prayer and searching Scripture, these are some ways I found that can be very helpful in overcoming our cynical mentality.<br /><ol><li><b><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for those you complain about.</span></b> Scripture makes it abundantly clear that prayer is important, but it also tells that we are to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A44&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">pray for our enemies</a>. This doesn't just mean someone who is your mortal enemy, but anyone who rubs you the wrong way. If you find you come home and you complain about your boss, your professor, the other company, a friend, random drivers on the road, try stopping and praying for them. Not that God would change them and their heart, but that He would change yours. Pray that God shows you their good qualities. Thank God for them. List three things that they do well.<br />&nbsp;</li><li><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">Be mindful of what you say. </span>This is a big one for me. I don't always think before I speak. I am from the Northeast originally and I tend to blame it on growing up in a fast paced lifestyle, but let's be honest: sometimes I don't care about what I say or I just want to say something for the sake of saying it. The Bible tells us that we need to be <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1%3A19&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">slow to speak</a>&nbsp;but also quick to listen. So often I believe the source of conflict and a cynical attitude comes from a misunderstanding of a situation that, when we see it our way, we are quick to criticize or complain about. For instance: the person you are scheduled to meet weekly with has been consistently late and is always distracted during your meeting leaving you feeling undervalued, frustrated, and unaccomplished. You hear them talking about issues at home but you tell yourself when they are at work they should be focused on work and on their co-workers, otherwise what separates work from home? But what you missed was that their mother was seriously injured and they are caring for her at their home, their car died and they have to walk to work, and their spouse lost their job. And all we could do was complain about how they were distracted or late or left us feeling unfulfilled. When we begin to listen and care about people more we begin to be more mindful of what we say because we become invested in their life. <br /></li><li><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">Check your heart. </span>Sometimes I have found that it isn't the people around me who have changed, it is me. Usually I am getting overwhelmed and because I hold myself to a very high standard, I impart that onto other people without telling them. That isn't right at all because who am I to tell them that they need to match my way of doing things? But it gets worse because then when they fail, I hold it against them and they have no idea why I seem angry, or frustrated, or annoyed. That is a heart issue. It is <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+59:12&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">pride</a>. We cannot allow ourselves to transfer our sin issues onto others. Instead, ask God to change your heart. Ask Him to make you a better servant. Ask Him to show you where you need to grow. Ask Him for people who can honestly and openly speak into your life and challenge you.<br />&nbsp;</li><li><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Start a service jar.</b></span> This is along the lines of a swear jar, but you aren't adding money to it, you are adding acts of service. There are a couple different ways to go about this. One is you could make up a bunch of service acts beforehand and stick them in a jar. Then whenever you complain, have a bad attitude, or are cynical you need to take one act of service out and complete it within 24 hours. The second way is that whenever you are critical about someone or something (like your job) you need to complete an act of service toward whomever and whatever that may be within 24 hours and place a piece of paper describing what you did in your service jar. How can you serve your job you ask? Maybe you bring in donuts for your team. Perhaps you show up early and empty the trash cans. Maybe you take some people out to lunch. Or maybe you find ways to thank everyone for what they do.<br />&nbsp;</li><li><b><span style="font-size: large;">Serve those you are cynical about for thirty days.</span></b> This is a big challenge, and not one for the faint of heart. This takes the service jar thought process, caters it specifically toward people, and magnifies it. If there is someone you find yourself complaining about all the time, commit to serving that person for 30 days straight. Now I know myself and I know I will still probably find something to complain about while serving them, so I would say the service jar rules still apply as well. Kind of a double whammy, but let's be real: a lot of us need that! So my challenge would be find a way to serve them that isn't self-serving, or out of contempt. Don't give them a watch to help them be on time. Instead ask how you can help them with their workload. Inevitably this will lead to you actually caring about and getting to know that person. And what you will come to realize is that through this you have started to change.&nbsp;</li></ol><div>I know this isn't easy. It is a lot easier to wallow in our own self-pity and frustrations. To give in to complaining and bad mouthing others. But is the easiest way truly the right way? Is it even the best way? No it isn't. We cannot give in to this mentality. We are called to be different. We are <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Timothy+2:21&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">set apart</a> for something greater. So who will stand with me as we stand above reproach and given toward honoring others and Christ through our words, actions, and thoughts? <i>God help us to be different and more like you!</i></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-59317647681054743162016-02-16T13:00:00.001-08:002016-02-16T13:41:51.584-08:00What to do when you are frustrated by your employment and/or ministry<div style="text-align: center;"><i>**<b>Disclaimer</b>: The following has nothing to do with my current employment or my current feelings toward it. This is simply a piece designed to help those who are struggling in their work and ministry contexts as I know there are times we all question why we are doing what we are doing. With that said, I have been there, I have had feelings of inadequacy, wanting to walk away, and feeling like I needed a change of scenery. I am hoping that offering some advice, encouragement, and personal insight may help those around me.**</i></div><br>Your boss walks into your office Tuesday morning, sits down and tells you that your department met your quota and beat out every other department, but he is downsizing yours due to budgetary reasons. Oh and by the way he expects you to maintain your quota in the same time frame you just met.<br><br>Your senior pastor meets you as you are setting up for programming and seemingly off the cuff states "You and I don't appear to be on the same mission together...we need to fix that. Oh and how did last night go?"<br><br>You just successfully ran your organization's biggest fundraiser and netted them the largest amount of donations they have ever had. Some of your fellow employees walk over after the evening has ended and all they can do is complain about the service, food, pleading for money, and how you should have chosen a different career path.<br><br>You work in a male-dominated office where you are never taken seriously. Jokes are constantly made about how you should handle all the office parties because you're a woman and know about cooking and decorating. Every time you suggest something that could improve your work environment or the entire company you are given the proverbial pat on the head and told to let the men handle the real work.<br><br>The elder board calls you in for an emergency meeting. You show up thinking you are ready for anything, but then they look at you and say, "Well, you have done a good job here. But your ministry costs a lot of money, money we don't have...so we are going to have to let you go." What are you going to tell your wife and kids?<br><br>Many of us have had experiences just like these or very similar to them. Some of you reading this may be walking through these circumstances right now, and perhaps you found yourself yelling in affirmation, "That's me!" I get it. Work or ministry is hard at times and it drains you. I totally get it. <br><br>My ministry is my career. I love what I do. I am passionate about it. And to be frank: I have been hurt a lot in ministry. I have also been hurt in careers outside of ministry. I have been let go, I have been criticized for how I ran my team, I have had to fire people because I was told to, I have been told maybe ministry isn't my calling, I have been told I work for Satan. I don't offer these as a way of saying, "Look, I have weathered the storm why can't you?" I offer this to say, "I get it." I understand. I have walked through garbage in my jobs and career as well. <i>I simply want to offer you some reflective reasons for why this happens, and some means to cope.</i> Neither will be exhaustive, but my hope is to encourage you, any of you, who are reading this and feeling spent, hurt, forgotten, or marginalized.<br><br>So why does this happen? Before we get into this I would ask that we lay aside all default defenses. Yes, your boss could be the reason. They could just be a horrible person who hates life, teddy bears, and small children. Yes, your work environment could be dismal. The roof leaks, the trash is never emptied, and your co-worker smells. And yes, your job is just a job. You don't want to be there, they don't want you there, and to be honest you are looking elsewhere. I get it. There a lot of circumstances, but I want to look inward, at ourselves. Often times we tend to blame the problem and refuse to look at ourselves. I am not looking to blame, I am simply saying let's take a look at our own hearts and motivations before we do.<br><br>Looking inward is more often than not a frustrating and discouraging activity as we see faults, inconsistencies, and sin. It is when we do this that too often we beat ourselves up because we see glaring areas that must be fixed, but my hope is that as we work through these areas we do not become self-deprecating but instead look at this with hope, resiliency, and a desire for change. Again, there are many areas in which we could struggle but I believe these four are the key areas for many of us.<br><ul><li>Selfishness</li><ul><li>Often times we place value on <i>our job, our desk, our way of doing things, our methodology, our teaching, our skill set, our ministry...our, our, our!</i>&nbsp;Now here is the thing: what gives you the right to have ownership over anything you do? Your desk was probably there before you started working. That ministry can and will continue without you. Your skills are yours but other people have skills and knowledge as well. The problem is we are told that we deserve something, actually everything, that we want and so we pursue everything as if it is already ours. But the crazy thing is nothing is yours. The Bible says in <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+24&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">Psalm 24</a> that the entire earth is the Lord's. Not ours. When we continue with the notion that the items of this world are ours we become selfish, resentful, and indigent with change and new ideas or systems. That is our problem. That is our heart, our sinful nature, grasping and pulling at us telling us that we deserve everything when the truth is <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+3&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">we deserve nothing </a>but are given <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+6%3A23&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">everything</a>.&nbsp;</li></ul><li>Pride</li><ul><li>Pride is a natural progression from selfishness, but I believe that it is more dangerous. Pride is coupled with arrogance, a critical attitude, and a judgmental spirit that can be disastrous to the workplace, co-workers, relationships, families, and yourself. Now some may jump up and champion that they take pride in their work because they were raised to work hard and this is America! We are proud of our work ethic. And to that I would say good, be proud of it. But where is that pride truly rooted? Is it in yourself, your accomplishments, your work ethic, your neat desk area, your ministry, the growth you brought to your program, the way you lead and teach? Or is it rooted in Christ? When you are proud of your work do you say, "I am proud because God has given me this work ethic, this job, this paycheck, this team, this ministry"? Do you call everything yours or do you thank God that He and He alone has allowed you to step into this career and work for Him, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+6%3A14&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">to give Him glory</a>? These are hard questions and I would encourage you to ask them of yourself.&nbsp;</li></ul><li>Lack of direction and communication</li><ul><li>I am not talking about direction given from a superior. I am talking about how we sometimes show up to just get our job done and do not offer to do anything more, we are content to just meander along without any desire to grow, we simply maintain. This is not okay. Doing this does a disservice to others because it shows a lack of accountability. We are saying that we do not have the capability to think for ourselves and instead pass the blame to someone else. He/she never told me to do this. I never knew I couldn't put staples in the coffee maker. How was I supposed to know metal in the microwave would cause it to blow up? This is our mentality because we are rooted in sin. We started doing this at the beginning of time! <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+3&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">We pass the blame</a> and hope for the best because we are too stubborn and selfish to ask for direction! If we simply communicated and asked for help so many problems would cease to exist and we could potentially thrive in our careers and ministries.</li></ul></ul><div>Now I know this post is getting long but please bear with me. I would love to offer some ways to help you cope with your work environment if it is truly a struggle to be there. Because let's be honest, sometimes the workplace won't get better. You may be doing everything you can to please God and your boss (no they aren't the same regardless of what they tell you) and it still is a horrible place to be. So let me offer these thoughts:</div><div><ul><li>Pray</li><ul><li>Do this a lot! Sometimes in hard times and dismal work environments we forget to do that. If you have a nasty boss pray for them. Pray for that "lazy" co-worker. Pray for the janitor who never empties your trash. Pray. You do not know what is going on in that person's life that could make them the way they are. So ask God to help you see them as He does: His child that He lovingly created and hopes to have a relationship with.</li></ul><li>Talk to someone</li><ul><li>Go and find someone who is older and wiser than you and seek direction. One of the greatest benefits in my life is having mentors speak into it. These people have helped me grow, called me on my inconsistencies and shortcomings, and have challenge me to be a better man, employee, and servant of God. They also listen and will have your back. If you need help finding someone, ask me and I will give some clarifying ways to do so.</li></ul><li>Communicate with your boss</li><ul><li>If your work sucks, have you talked to your boss? Have you expressed your dissatisfaction? Have you done so respectfully, without having your frustrations come through, your blood boil, or going with preconceived notions? All of those will contribute to poor communication and lack of results. Go honestly and with a clear head. Share what is going on, ask for change, and be willing to meet halfway or even two-thirds.&nbsp;</li></ul><li>Take a break</li><ul><li>Sometimes you need a vacation. Time to recharge your batteries. Take it! If you are frustrated and upset, now is the time.</li></ul><li>Ask yourself some questions</li><ul><li>Is this the right job for you? What makes this place difficult for you? Why do you stay? Are you contributing to your own frustrations? What would your ideal job look like? Does that job exist? Being honest with yourself and asking hard questions will hopefully bring about some resolve to the situation.</li></ul><li>Do not take your anger and frustration home</li><ul><li>If you are married, have a family, have roommates, trust me they know when you have had a bad day. They know when work is bad, your boss yelled at you, etc. But you do not have to treat them like they are part of the problem. They care about you and only want the best. We need to learn to share our hurts, problems, and issues without getting on them for what happened at work.&nbsp;</li></ul><li>Look to how Jesus handled conflict</li><ul><li>Jesus spoke into the situations calmly, with authority, and with respect. If things got heated (like when they tried to kill Him), He moved on. When people were obnoxious (disciples and Pharisees), He spoke to them in a way to teach them and make them better. Maybe Jesus knew a thing or two about leadership?</li></ul><li>Write a verbatim</li><ul><li>Most of you probably have no idea what this is, which is fine, I didn't either until a year or so ago. A verbatim is a paper that you write about a conflict you are in. You write down everything that happened verbatim in a script form (Nick: blah blah, Tom: blab blab, etc.). Then you ask probing questions afterward and answer them. What could I have done differently, how did this make me feel, what did I do to contribute to the situation, how did I help the other person, what were all potential outcomes of the situation, how did I respond, how did the other people respond, what could I have done better, how can I fix the situation?</li></ul></ul><div>I am no workplace specialist. I do not claim to have all the answers. My desire is that this offers you some hope and encouragement.</div></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-17948622995287140392016-02-03T15:06:00.001-08:002016-02-03T15:09:04.030-08:0029 going on 30Wow! I cannot believe I am going to be 30 this Friday. It is crazy to think that I am already done with 29 years, and entering into the middle portion of my life. I know for many of you reading this you may say "Nick, you aren't that old" or "you have the best years ahead of you," but for some reason I can't help but reflect on what has occurred in my life these past years. So I wanted to share just some momentous years from this past decade with you. So sit back and check out some of the high points in the last ten years!<br /><ul><li>I enrolled at Moody Bible Institute in 2006.</li><li>I graduated college in 2009.</li><li>I began a temporary career in security in 2009 that resulted in learning some pretty cool stuff and meeting some incredible people.</li><li>I bought my first new car in 2011. Wrecked it, and bought another.</li><li>I began working as a senior pastor at a church in New Egypt, New Jersey in 2011.</li><li>I got my own place for the first time ever in 2011. It wasn't the prettiest but I struck out on my own!</li><li>Elise and I began dating in 2012.</li><li>I moved to Iowa in 2012.</li><li>Elise and I became engaged in 2012 at Wrigley Field in Chicago.</li><li>Elise and I got married on July 13, 2013!!!</li><li>Elise and I took our first trip together outside of the country to Jamaica in 2013.</li><li>I accepted a position at Parkview Church in Iowa City working with their Student Ministry Program.</li><li>Elise and I relocated to Iowa City in 2013.</li><li>I helped to orchestrate the biggest high school outreach for Parkview that is now entering its third year.</li><li>I took my first missions trip since college to Belize in 2014.</li><li>Elise and I celebrated our one year anniversary.</li><li>Elise and I began sponsoring our Compassion Child, Subhashree, in 2015.</li><li>Elise and I went on vacation to Mackinaw.</li><li>Elise and I celebrated two years of marriag. </li><li>I began my pursuing a dream of obtaining my Masters in Biblical Counseling with a Youth and Family emphasis.</li><li>I started formulating the outline for a book proposal on holistic counseling for those who have walked through abuse, the abuser, and their families.</li></ul>Call it a bit of nostalgia or reminiscing or Facebook flooding me with memories or whatever, but these past ten years have been pretty good to me, and because of that I think I do not want to let go. I think that is the way many of us lead our lives. We stay focused on the past. Things worked this way in the past so we must continue to do them this way, even if a newer way may be more effective. We had our best years behind us, and fear the future. We are getting older and weaker and our bodies don't work like they used to. As I sat here reflecting on my past, as amazing as it was, I realized that this mentality was rooted in something: <i>fear</i>. Fear of the future. Fear of aging. Fear of becoming irrelevant. Fear of the end. Fear of not meeting goals. Fear of failing. You name it, fear has become the master of our lives. But why is that? Why is this rooted there?<br /><br />Have you ever noticed fear being used in the Bible? Have you also noticed that it is usually used within the context of "fear not"? God knows that we as humans fear. We fear disease, famine, wars, ISIS, terrorism, cancer, death, the afterlife, school, tests, tomorrow, interactions, loss, being told no, our mirror, our true selves. But the crazy thing is that in the midst of all this fear God tells us to <i>fear not</i>.<br /><br />Fear not. It is a funny phrase. Fear not. Literally do not fear. But why shouldn't we fear? Isaiah 41:10 says this: Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. We don't have to fear because the Alpha and Omega, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, I am, Jehovah, the Creator, the Everlasting God will always protect us and see us through things.<br /><br />Thirty is a new milestone for me. It symbolizes the unknown, a new road to follow, getting older and hopefully wiser, more life changes. In the midst of it all I am vowing to <i><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=fear+not&amp;qs_version=ESV" target="_blank">FEAR NOT</a></i>! And because of that I decided to make a list, not a bucket list, but a list of things that in faith I believe God will accomplish in this next decade of my life. So here ya go:<br /><ul><li>Elise and I will celebrate ten years of being married and many more after that!</li><li>I will graduate with my masters.</li><li>I will begin actually writing and potentially publishing one of my books.</li><li>I will continue to allow God to use me as a minister for His kingdom.</li><li>Elise and I will see God grow our family.</li><li>Elise and I will get a dog.</li><li>I will pay off my debt. </li><li>Elise and I can sponsor more Compassion Children.</li><li>Elise and I will travel more.</li><li>The ministry I serve in will grow and impact people with the Gospel.</li><li>I will grow in my knowledge of God.</li><li>I will grow in my knowledge of counseling.</li><li>I will help family members come to know Jesus.</li></ul><div>So here is to turning thirty! Not just another year older. Not just more gray hairs. Not feeling aged. But trusting God to continue to work in my life and use me as His hands and feet to bring this world to know the saving power of grace.&nbsp;</div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-2710111732504106802016-01-28T14:20:00.000-08:002016-02-08T10:14:58.146-08:00A new type of politicsChange! Hope! I want to be that champion! Heal! Inspire! New Possibilities! New! Defeat! Higher Ground! No these are not posts for an inspiration cat poster that should adorn someone's office wall, but rather slogans, or snippets of slogans, that are being thrown around in our current political climate.<br /><br />In case you haven't seen or heard, it is an election year and as such the perpetual mudslinging, political ads, and flyers are being relentlessly pushed into our faces. Surf the internet and the ads that target you are political. Open your mailbox and there are the candidates' faces plastered across endless postcards. Turn on the tv and watch the ads that support candidates and ones that tear apart all the others. The radio airs one political parties' advertisement and then immediately after the opponents. When does it end? Maybe I am just sensitive to this now that I live in a state that hosts a Caucasus and political candidates flock to. But when is enough, enough?<br /><br />Now please hear me out. I love politics. I truly do. I believe every citizen has an inherent duty to vote in elections as this is how our country functions. It is how laws are passed as the candidates we support help to push laws forward. It is how we demonstrate our moral fortitude and resolve. I even love debating about politics. I may not be good at it, I don't always have the answers, and I know not everyone agrees with me, but I enjoy talking about it.<br /><br />What I hate is how this time of year dictates almost everything that happens. We are fed constant spoonfuls of hate, name calling, mudslinging, and trivial backbiting, and that is only among the political candidates in the party we support. We are only in the primaries. But even more I hate what it does to the common people. To all of us.<br /><br />Grab a handful of people and put them in a room. Challenge them to talk politics and their candidates without getting angry, walking out, or breaking into fisticuffs. It probably won't happen. Or better yet, scroll through your Facebook newsfeed and attempt to do so without becoming frustrated by the hundreds of political posts you see. This time of year turns people against each other and that's a problem.<br /><br />I have seen families refuse to have conversations, friendships fractured, churches refrain from talking about anything dealing with politics, and countless people hurt from this time of year. Maybe instead of allowing our support of politicians to change us into someone who no one else wants to deal with, we should instead look to bring Jesus into the conversation? Instead of getting angry maybe we should look back on one of the best "campaign slogans" ever produced: WWJD. Instead of criticizing other candidates or those who support them maybe productive and calm dialogue would be better.<br /><br />Oh and perhaps I should take this time to point out that Jesus wasn't a Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Conservative, Socialist, Libertarian, or whatever else! Jesus didn't allow politics to sway Him. He didn't align with a political party. In fact Jesus brought people into His team of 12 whose politics were drastically different! He brought a Zealot who wanted to overthrow Rome. He had a tax-collector who worked for the Romans and robbed the poor. He had a poor fisherman who was part of the working class. He brought in people with religious backgrounds that were opposed to one another. You tell me what political party Jesus fell into? You can't!<br /><br />One of the few times we see Jesus reference politics is when <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A15-22&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">He tells</a> those around Him to "render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's." Jesus was responding to a political question that was an attempt to trap Him so He could be arrested, but He did something radical within the moment, as only Jesus truly can. He flipped the coin on it's head and challenged common thinking by saying honor your government by obeying them (paying taxes) but also honor God by giving Him what is His (your life and everything you have). This may seem a little odd because if we give our government something how then can we give everything to God? The answer is that by obeying God's command and doing what He tells us, we are giving God everything! We have obeyed Him and as such have given Him our lives!<br /><br />So what does this have to do with the political climate today? I simply want to challenge you to think about a few things:<br /><ol><li>Who are you voting for and why?</li><li>Does your candidate align with what Scripture is saying?&nbsp;</li><ol></ol><ul><li>Truly no one will ever perfectly align with God's Word because we are all broken and sinful, but have we chosen the best fit?</li></ul><ol></ol><li>Are you treating others (yes even those in the party that you cannot stand) the way Jesus would?</li><li>Realize that our state, our country, our world will never truly know peace, love, and mercy until the Lord Himself returns and establishes it. Our words, actions, Facebook posts, memes, and whatever else we come up with will not change this world. God and God alone will change this world. The question is are you ready and willing to accept that?</li></ol><div>To all my politically active friends: I love you. Know I hear your heart and passion for this, and I know that you fight so hard for this because you believe it to be right. But look to Christ's example and see if you align with it. Are you doing this in love? I know I haven't been. Will you join me in pursuing this part of our year in a manner that Jesus would? Will you maybe pause from declaring your candidate's prowess, your party's smarts, and your political knowledge and instead get on your knees and ask God to allow for us to be His disciples in this world? Maybe, just maybe, what we need is less politics and more Christ.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Just some thoughts from someone who may or may not be a part of a political party, who supports a particular candidate, but is someone who loves Jesus and will do all he can to spread God's love this and every season of his life.&nbsp;</div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-83010460545905014682015-11-28T07:35:00.000-08:002015-11-28T08:33:31.710-08:00When Does it End?My heart breaks for all the shooting and unrest that is happening within our country and around the world. The complete lack of regard for human life is not only sickening but deplorable as well. When did human life become something that persons thought they had the power to take. I have grown weary of the violence and bloodshed.<br /><br />Recently I was battling against this feeling of acceptance to violence. Many of you, if you were honest, would agree. We have become complacent with what is happening. We have grown to accept it as another facet of life. We have come to recognize it as the norm! Let me be honest and offer a little insight. Media had steeled my heart and soul to the violence. I could watch another story on a shooting, stabbing, bombing of a hospital, bodies in the street. Where before I used to turn away in remorse, pain, and empathy it has now become just another news story that I watch without batting an eye. When does it end?<br /><div><br />We have become so complacent and accepting of what we see and hear and this has became all too clear at a recent shooting at our mall. Many of you know the story, but a young man shot a woman three times because she had ended a relationship with him, and this all unfolded while <a href="http://eliseloyola.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Elise </a>and I were within site of the act. A young lady lost her life that evening, and it pains me to say that for a few days it never really set in. I was interviewed for local news agencies. I watched countless reports on the shooting. Read every document I could. But the reality that a child of God was brutally taken from this world did not set in for quite a while.<br /><br />When it did, I mourned deeply. I began to cry over the violent way a life was ended. All this happened while I was watching a news story on the shooting, and I noticed immediately after that story more stories of violence, pain, and bloodshed filled the newscast. Truly violence sells. Truly violence has so impacted our lives it draws us in. Truly violence has become a way of life for us. Whether we commit it or choose to ignore it we are allowing violence to continue.<br /><br />We must do something about this! We must change this! We must bring the love of Christ to the forefront of these issues! No more sitting by. No more pretending it doesn't happen. No more making excuses. No more ignorance. No more!!!<br /><br /></div>Let me make this clear: This is neither a political rant nor a religious stance (although I hope all I do and say is rooted in Christ and His calling on us to be His disciples) although those must be addressed. First for all of us who use these acts of violence as a pedestal for our political views and candidates...STOP! Stop using it as a crutch to fuel your political party, and simply help us stop it. Do not post your hashtags claiming you want to end violence, but do something about it. Hashtags mean nothing without helping the problem. Do not scream on street corners at those you do not agree with. When has yelling ever solved anything? Maybe engage the person and have a vested interest in them and perhaps change can take place. Attempting to block traffic and disrupt public servants turns them against your cause because you have become part them problem in their eyes. Maybe bring them coffee and ask to talk over your views. When was the last time you took your mayor, congressman, police chief lunch and asked to talk over the issues facing your town, county, state, country, or world? Instead of criticizing how a shooter or child molester "fits the profile" or "looks like someone who would do that" maybe we should focus on reaching out to those people before these acts occur. So many of these individuals have faced trauma and hurt that have now become a catalyst for what they did, but in the same breath so many of them never received help, love, or support. Instead of casting blame and presupposed views maybe instead we should be working to reach those on the fringe, the ones society forgets or willfully walks away from, those students who are tormented, those children who are abandoned, those people forgotten. Maybe instead of casting judgement we should cast concern, care, and love to others and seek to fix the problem at the root before it starts.<br /><br />As for those who use violence as a resource for your so called "faith"...Shut it! Those who believe that you can proclaim that the shooting at Planned Parent Hood was an act of God's judgement or that this vile act saved lives, you are foolish and profane the very God you are claiming to serve. That is not love in the least bit. A true Christ follower would have gone down and helped those in need and served the widows and orphans. A true Christ follower would not belittle a woman seeking out an abortion but would ask her her name, to offer another option, and if she says no would not belittle her or cast slurs or Bible verses of condemnation upon her, but would instead call her their sister and let her know how much they love her and the life she carries.<br /><br />All this to say: we have an obligation. An obligation to change our world. An obligation to turn from our violent ways. An obligation to protect life, not take it. An obligation to stand for truth, freedom, mercy, and grace. Imagine a world that our news stories glorified these aspects of society and humanity and not the killing and hurting of other people. What then? As a Christian, I have spiritual and moral obligation to do all I can to help end the hurt, pain, and violence that plagues this world. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and we cannot do that by pretending the problem doesn't exist, we cannot do that by becoming desensitized to the issues, we cannot do that by simply praying for the problem to end. We must change how we react, must change our interactions, simply put we must act. We must engage. We must show this world who Jesus is, how He values life, how He alone can bring healing, and how our world will only truly be healed once everyone has heard the name of Jesus and He returns to take us home.<br /><br />Will you help change the world? Change isn't something I can make happen. But I can lead by example...the example Christ Himself set forth. I will love others regardless of race,gender, ethnicity, economic stance, sexual orientation, or religious views. I will seek to clothe and feed those who are orphaned, alone, and hungry. I will serve our public servants and politicians out of respect and a realization that their jobs are hard and thankless. I will not cave to the violence that we see but instead pray daily that God allows me to be a light in a dark place, a beacon on a hill, that proclaims love, grace, mercy, redemption, and transformation.<br /><br />Will you help change the world?<br /><br />Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-43144824546770901962015-07-22T10:28:00.002-07:002015-07-22T10:28:51.528-07:00A belated anniversary postWow, so <a href="http://eliseloyola.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Elise</a> and I have just celebrated two years of marriage! I cannot believe that two years have flown by so quickly. It seems like just a short time ago when I asked her to marry me at <a href="http://eliseloyola.blogspot.com/2012/08/my-chicago-engagement.html" target="_blank">Wrigley Field</a>&nbsp;(video here), and only yesterday when we said "I do" with so many of you there to witness that moment.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VRvNKoJUTUA/Va-vagOhqpI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/jQ-4Rq8hoX4/s1600/1231619_657498831549_853653682_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VRvNKoJUTUA/Va-vagOhqpI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/jQ-4Rq8hoX4/s400/1231619_657498831549_853653682_n.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>But to be honest I wouldn't change any of it! These two years have been two of the best years of my life.<br /><br />Now that doesn't mean it has been easy. Elise and I have faced many hard circumstances in the past two years. We have both lost jobs, we have moved multiple times, we have both started serving in ministry positions, we have lost loved ones, and so much more. We accomplished the big three in our first month of marriage: we moved (twice), we switched jobs, and we were trying to figure out how to be newlyweds.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ohG7rcu_Py8/Va-vzGgfDsI/AAAAAAAAAJY/tXI9JnFyLJk/s1600/1374965_617141361669303_725022483_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ohG7rcu_Py8/Va-vzGgfDsI/AAAAAAAAAJY/tXI9JnFyLJk/s320/1374965_617141361669303_725022483_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>FYI for all of you people who just got married or will be...don't do this! Haha. It was a very crazy time in our life but God was good through it all.<br /><br />But through all of the craziness, the hurt, and stress I see why God has brought us together. God couldn't have crafted someone better for me. He purposely shaped Elise and I for one another and put us together for a purpose. He allowed for me to marry my very best friend and to live an amazing life with her by my side. Through all of our hard times with everything happening I can clearly see how we compliment, support, encourage, and love each other. God put someone amazing in my life who without her these past few years would have been completely different and I wouldn't be the man I am today.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R4qdPSZ5uUY/Va-wE79YliI/AAAAAAAAAJg/zPXQcLaiK_E/s1600/10269517_695473220569_6820334942876464094_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R4qdPSZ5uUY/Va-wE79YliI/AAAAAAAAAJg/zPXQcLaiK_E/s400/10269517_695473220569_6820334942876464094_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />All those years of wondering will I ever get married, will anyone ever love me, is there someone for me, does God really care about my relationships, I see now that God has a plan for all of us when it comes to marriage and that we need to patiently wait for His timing. I'll be honest, it sucked at some points, I am not a good waiter. Patience isn't my strong point. But when I finally had enough of trying to figure everything out, God stepped in and brought the very best person for me into my life. Marriage has been everything I thought it would be and so much more, and while waiting wasn't the easiest or the happiest for me, I see why God had me wait. He had me wait to mature myself, to grow me into a better man of God, to allow for me to love others better, to show me He was in control, and to allow for me to enter ministry with the best person in the world. God works in His own timing. Sometimes we don't know why, we don't want to know why, we want to figure it out on our own and do it our way, but after so many years of trying to do it my way and questioning God's plan, I now see how wonderfully crafted His plan was to bring Elise and I together.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3qq5LJbigEE/Va-wPaY1ZlI/AAAAAAAAAJo/GUKvu0aldds/s1600/182096_556768765472_1791929197_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3qq5LJbigEE/Va-wPaY1ZlI/AAAAAAAAAJo/GUKvu0aldds/s400/182096_556768765472_1791929197_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />So if you are waiting for God to bring that someone into your life know it isn't in vain, He hasn't forgotten about you, you are not unlovable or unworthy of marriage, there isn't something wrong with you, and you are not alone. God is preparing you for something unimaginable. He is crafting someone just for you, and you for them. He is shaping you to be ready to tackle what life will have for you in the future. Trust in God's plan and be honest with Him. Share your heart, share your pains, your insecurities, but know that He is in control and His plan for your life is being worked out each and every day, even when you don't see it. Rest in the peace that He is shaping you into a wonderful match for someone He created just for you, and in His time that person will step into your life and rock your world.<br /><br />So all that to say, Elise, I am so thankful that we get to share life together. You're my very best friend! Knowing that I get to spend each day of the rest of my life with you is a blessing, I thank God for you each and every day. The love and support you have shown, and continue to show me, blows me away. The way you always smile and hug me when I get home is one of the best feelings in the world. I am blessed to call you my wife, my closest friend, my co-explorer, my travel buddy, my ministry partner, and my favorite person in the world. God created a beautifully sculpted woman when He made you, and He perfectly matched your outward beauty with the inward beauty. You're kind, loving, supportive, honest, godly, and someone I look up to and respect. I love you more than I could ever express and I am so excited for what God has in store for us in the next years!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2EI5BmALKGw/Va-wbBqYl3I/AAAAAAAAAJw/DIgthbJ5_pg/s1600/11760253_782937172109_638498545788900514_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2EI5BmALKGw/Va-wbBqYl3I/AAAAAAAAAJw/DIgthbJ5_pg/s400/11760253_782937172109_638498545788900514_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-36454384608483295782015-05-28T13:58:00.000-07:002015-05-28T13:58:59.229-07:00KneesEveryday students from my youth group would walk into their schools and drop to their knees and pray out loud for their school, their teachers, their friends and their enemies. Have you dropped to your knees lately? - <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sam-Bhatt/168244883308874" target="_blank">Sam Bhatt</a><br /><div><br /></div><div>That question has been plaguing my mind often these past few months, and it feels like even more so these last couple of weeks. This notion of prayer, daily, constant prayer, that can radically change your life and bring about results you never dreamed of. This has been something that has been causing some inner struggle for me.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>I am a control freak and a fixer. Any guy who reads this will probably be able to relate to that statement in some way. It isn't that I have to micromanage my life or the lives of those around me, but I don't like to feel, well, out of control. I like to keep myself, my life, my family safe and secure. I like security (I was in that business for years after all) and comfort and consistency. Change is hard. Trust is hard. If there is a problem I like to fix it. I don't like leaving projects incomplete, conversations unfinished, problems unsolved, or wrongs not righted. It is who I am as a guy. I like to have my life just so, I like to protect those I love, heal their hurts, provide for them, and give them what they need.<br /><br />But recently I have been confronted with just how out of control I am. I have no power, no control, no authority. I have been wrestling long and hard with failures I have committed, wrongs I have done, not having enough financial stability to offer peace, fear of the future and the unknown, questioning different medical issues (no I am not dying). I have been clutching onto my own power, my own will, my own safety, my own comfort. I have been refusing to trust God. And I know I have written about faith and trust before but I am finding now just how much my heart is grieved by the fact I don't go to God with my troubles and pains. Instead I convince myself that I, a sinful and fallen human being, can radically alter my own life and remove the pain, hurt, doubt, and fear all on my own.<br /><br />I have been attempting to do this for years and to be quite honest with you...it sucks! I can't put it any other way. Trying again and again and again to maintain a life of comfort, to meet everyone's needs, to provide beyond my means, to go at it alone, to fix everyone's problems, to do it my way. I have and continue to be that guy. That guy who follows Jesus but is scared to death of what giving everything to Him looks like. &nbsp;I am terrified of saying, "God here is my family, God here are my finances, God here are my medical bills, God here are my fears, God here is the control. God here is my life."<br /><br />Because what if He doesn't answer how I want? What if His fixing of the problem isn't the same as mine? What if God says no? This terrifies me so much. It scares me to the point I wake up at night. I wonder and worry about circumstances I cannot control because of just that. I have no control and that scares me.<br /><br />But I believe God is working on my heart and saying "my child don't you know I only want the best for you?" God's Word says that He knows me. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139:13" target="_blank">He knew me in my mother's womb</a>. He knows the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+10%3A30&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">exact number of hairs on my head</a>. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+8%3A26&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">God knows my prayers even when I don't</a>. He knows me better than I know myself. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+23%3A2&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">He leads me beside still waters</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+23%3A4&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">He comforts me</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+23%3A5&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">He protects me</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+23%3A6&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">He is always anointing me with His goodness and love</a>. See Scripture makes it clear that God is the God of all comfort, goodness, hope, and peace, and that He can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. God isn't a God who stands in the shadows hoping to act when we refuse to give up control, our God is one who is constantly acting and orchestrating our lives even when we don't see it. But when we give up control, when we let fear go, when we take a step of faith, God is there to say "my child come to me, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+11:30" target="_blank">my burden is light</a> and I have this. I will and always have taken care of you. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+5%3A7&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">Put all your worries and doubts on me</a>. I love you my child and I will always be your loving, caring, and sustaining Father."<br /><br />So yes, while doubt, fear, worry, and control plague my life on a daily basis, even louder rings this truth: My God, my Dad, is in control. I don't need to worry or fear, God will handle it. When I am overwhelmed by a cloud of doubt or anxiety, when I cannot see the light at the end of this dark valley, when I fear the unknown, when life becomes too much to bear, God, my God, is in complete control.<br /><br />I can't say this is easy. I can't say that I like this feeling but it is something I am learning to embrace. And each day I am making it a habit to hit my knees on the floor as I cry out to God. I cry out and declare my lack of control, I lay out my fears and insecurities, I beg for guidance, and I ask for strength to rely upon His sovereignty and all-encompassing love. I truly believe many of us struggle with this, and I would plead with you to hit your knees as well. Go before your Father each day and ask for the strength we don't have, the guidance we need, the faith we should have, and a desire to cede control each and every day. It is truly in the lack of control that we can rest easy and know that control isn't ours but instead the Creator of the universe is in control of everything.&nbsp;</div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-55244428244170591162015-05-22T08:19:00.001-07:002015-05-22T08:24:08.091-07:00A life worth living: A look at how Christians do and should respond to othersWell it has been a while since I have last written, and for those of you who actually read this please accept my apologies. Life has been increasingly busy and hasn't allotted much time for me to actually sit down and write. With that being said, it doesn't mean I haven't had thoughts and topics come to mind that I want to write about, in fact it is the contrary that is true. I have been overwhelmed with topics and ideas, and if you were to look at my phone you would find multiple notes that are the beginnings of many posts that have not come to fruition. So I have decided to tackle a topic that may be off-putting to some but please read through the entire post and then respond to it. I mean why wouldn't I tackle a controversial topic after not having written in months?<br /><br />Over the past few months, I have been really convicted about how we (yes I am including myself here) as Christians respond to and with contemporary culture. I have been blown away by some of the recent articles put out by "Christians" lambasting <a href="http://qpolitical.com/when-kylie-jenner-challenged-sadie-her-response-was-brutally-honest/" target="_blank">Kylie Jenner and claiming she is a dismal excuse for young ladies to follow while the same article glories Sadie Robertson for her lofty moralism and beautiful standards on being a perfectly modest Christian woman</a>. Or what about how Christians have taken to mocking Bruce Jenner over his transitioning from a man to a woman? <a href="http://www.westernjournalism.com/christian-owned-bakery-refused-to-bake-gay-marriage-cake-then-received-awful-news/" target="_blank">How about how Christians have become so opposed to homosexual marriage</a>&nbsp;(read some of the comments)? How about how Christians openly attack other Christians like <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/05/21/josh-duggar-resigns-from-family-research-council/" target="_blank">Josh Duggar</a> when a sin has been committed (and no I am not excusing what he did, but calling us to look at our responses)? Oh and take a look at what <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/claudiakoerner/josh-duggar-apologizes-amid-sex-abuse-allegations-quits-fami#.uyeNP7RJd" target="_blank">people are saying</a> on his siblings <a href="https://instagram.com/p/28sZQnDfmp/?taken-by=jessaseewald" target="_blank">social </a>feeds and how they have <a href="https://instagram.com/p/29Pix1LsxY/?taken-by=jillmdillard" target="_blank">attacked </a>them for his actions. Or better yet how about how Christians openly decry anything they feel harms their integrity and beliefs? Did <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+3%3A10-12&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">Paul not tell us to prepare for persecution</a>? Didn't <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+15%3A20&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">Jesus say it will come</a>? But his response was never to vilify those who do the persecuting but rather the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+5%3A44&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">pray for them </a>and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+12%3A14&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">bless them</a>! How have we come to this? Why has this mentality taken hold of us?<br /><br />What this comes down to is that we as Christians are so judgmental that we have now become idolaters of those we hold to be "holier than thou". Where did we go wrong? Is it only a few bloggers who write viral sensations that become instant hits and a rallying cry for Christians? Is it only the few Christians that have become the vocal voice for our faith? And the answer is a resounding no! We are all guilty of this. We as Christians who decry the holier than thou mentality, the Christians who praise a God of grace and forgiveness, we as Christians who believe no sin to be too great for the love of God, we as Christians who stand condemned just as everyone else in this world but are justified by grace alone, we are the ones who have taken a moralistic stance that idolizes"great" people and bestows on them some sort of odd hero worship, but in the same breath demonize those who stand contrary to them.<br /><br />Please understand that I use the pluralistic form here because I myself am just as guilty if not the greatest idolater among us. I have openly mocked different celebrities, I have placed great men of God on pedestals and revered their teachings but not God's Word, I have judged others before they could even utter a word, I have placed myself in a better light than I deserve, all because I believe I know better. All because I am a Christian. I use my salvation as a crutch, instead of living out the lifestyle Christ has called me to! I have laid down my cross and instead picked up an effigy of judgmental and critical theology because I have become just like the Pharisees of the Old and New Testaments.<br /><br />How dare we do that? How dare we hold the world to the standards we hold ourselves to? How dare we judge when we are deserving of the same judgment the world itself is? Have we forgotten the wretches that we are? Have we forgotten how far God has brought us? Have we become blinded to the fact that without the shed blood of Jesus Christ we would be hell-bound ourselves and deserving of the same death that Adam bestowed upon us?<br /><br />We as Christians have done our faith, our God, a disservice. Please hear me out: I am not lambasting Sadie, I am not saying don't be modest, and I am not saying to be of the world. I am saying we as Christians should be worshiping the Creator not the created. We shouldn't idolize a young woman because she is following Jesus. Rather we should also be following Jesus in a similar manner and giving Him the praise, the glory, the honor, the worship, and the respect He and He alone is due.<br /><br />I know this is a harsh critique and many would run and say "we are not worshiping Sadie nor are we hurtful in how we critique" but the truth is we are! Every time we decide to take up a "cross" to preserve our religion we end up hurting others, ostracizing the world, and turning people off to the bride of Christ. I am not saying that we should let go of our theology, our doctrine, our beliefs, because what would we be then? I am saying that we as Christians need to do a better job at loving others. We need to do a better job at encouraging and uplifting people. Imagine if instead of throwing hurtful critiques around about celebrities we instead prayed for them and sent them letters expressing how beautiful they are, and how God loves them? Imagine for a moment that instead of saying, "I won't bake you a cake because I don't support gay marriage," we instead said, "I am going to bake this cake for you and pray that you come to know who Jesus is and that you experience His radical love for you." Imagine if you would a world where Christians didn't judge others based on their political parties, their lifestyles, their manner of dress, or their sins, but instead <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+10%3A45&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">loved and served the world just a Jesus Christ did</a>. What would happen? Maybe, just maybe we would see revival. Maybe, just maybe God's name would no longer be a profane term but instead be honored. Maybe, just maybe the church would once again become a safe place, a place of love and refuge and restoration.<br /><br />We as Christians need to be very mindful of what we say, how we act, and how we treat others. Any time we glorify or vilify others it reflects on who we serve and claim to follow. Imagine how our critical thoughts, actions, comments, writings, and responses reflect Jesus, and maybe look to change that. I am not saying we need to excuse the sins and hurtful actions of others, but we are called to love, forgive, and let God be the judge. We cannot look at someone and dictate what is in their heart because we are not God and all of us are still works in progress. Christ works in peoples' lives in radical and supernatural ways and people can decide to follow Jesus on their death bed like the thief on the cross, or by an amazing encounter with God like Paul had on the road to Damascus. We as Christ followers need to be living, leading, and declaring Christ in all aspects of our lives. My hope and prayer is that we can be better imitators of Christ by growing in Him and maturing in our walks daily by seeking to be like Him.Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-36477624555995794972015-03-16T09:24:00.001-07:002015-03-16T09:24:45.403-07:00What if?I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. And as this blog has become a platform for my musings, please allow me the opportunity to put some questions out there that are meant to spur reflection, inward thinking, outward reaction, open and honest dialogue, and hopefully change. Please know that the following does not represent anyone or any church in particular, but is a broad grasp at a bigger issue facing the church in North America today. Understand that this is not some rant against Christians or churches or denominations, but simply meant to cause us as believers in Jesus to rethink what we are doing, and then ask ourselves are we being effective for the Kingdom of Christ and are we representing Jesus in a manner He would be proud of?<br /><br />What if.....<br /><br />We got rid of denominations?<br />Now bear with me for a moment. I know many of us, although we won't say it out loud, will live and die by our denominational dogmas and orthodoxy, our church's potato salad, and the worship style we have. But is it truly worth it? What would happen if churches began to remove whatever rifts cause them to become an island or a cluster of islands within a denomination and instead began to passionately pursue bringing Jesus into their towns, cities, states, and countries by having a united front? Is that too much to ask? Is it that too hard for us to lay aside differences on theology or dogma to embrace growing the kingdom? What is the worst that could happen if churches united to spread God's Word? Revival? I am not asking us to neglect doctrine or the core tenants of our faith, but instead to admit and understand that there will be differences and as long as those do not contradict the Bible, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%202:42-47" target="_blank">why can't we lay them aside for the greater mission: growing the kingdom of God?</a><br /><br />We embraced sinners?<br />What if instead of turning up our noses to gay marriage and cringing when a man introduces us to his husband, we instead welcome them into the church just as they are? I know I took on another inflammatory issue within the midst of this statement, but it proves my point! We as Christians have done a stellar job at ostracizing different communities since the foundation of the church. Be it the Greeks in the New Testament, the Muslims during the Crusades, the doctors who performed abortions and the women who received them during the 90's, or the LGBT lifestyle that has become part of our current culture, the church has done a great job at pushing people away. Is that what we want to be known for? Do we want to be known as body of the Christ that loves and ministers to sinners like Jesus did, or do we simply want to become the Pharisaical church that people walk away from? What if we welcomed those who are struggling? What if we loved sinners instead of judging them? What if like Jesus did we hung out with the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%202:13-17" target="_blank">sinners and tax collectors?</a> Would that be such a bad thing?<br /><br />What if churches became a safe haven again?<br />There I go asking a question that immediately riles peoples' feathers. I am right there with you. I immediately want to cry foul on this and proclaim that my church, yes I attach undue ownership to what is rightly God's, is a safe haven for all people! Broken or otherwise, come as you are, love the sinner hate the sin. But let's be honest here...churches as whole suck at this! We ostracize people, we gossip, we break trust, we form cliques, we become elitists. Many of you would say "Now Nick the church is made up of broken people, and we are all still sinners. No church is perfect" but I would reply "Why not?! Why aren't we striving for perfection? Why do we throw up that answer as if it excuses us from loving the way Jesus loved?" Churches were meant to be a place where people could gather free of shame and guilt, free from the gossip and drama that plagued their lives, and free to come as they are before their loving Father who gave His Son so we could shed this sinful shell we call a body! But what if we became a <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A34-40&amp;version=NIV" target="_blank">place that the widows, the poor, the fatherless, the childless, the broken, the convicts, the outcasts, the "bigger" sinners could come and be cared for</a>? What if the church again became a church <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%202:42-47" target="_blank">where everyone gave of themselves so all could be loved and cared for</a>? What if people no longer had to fear being pointed at or talked about during or after a service or counseling session? Maybe the church would grow...maybe people would see Christ and Christians differently. Maybe, just maybe, revival would once again take this land!<br /><br />What if? Just what if? What if the church in America began to change? Would it be all that bad? Are we so stuck in our ways that we have forgotten our true calling as the Bride of Christ? Are we so caught up in making rules and guidelines and calling out others, that we have become spiritually blind to the greater issue at hand just like the Pharisees of old?<br /><br />Like I said, I know that this is a post that will rile some of us up. I know it can be cringe worthy, but my hope in this is to help us as believers think through how we are ministering to others, and how we can better serve our Lord and Savior. So I ask you...<br /><br />What if?Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-64882866895721306772015-02-21T13:21:00.002-08:002015-02-21T13:21:29.023-08:00A life verse and an honest confession So recently I have been really challenged by a verse in the Bible, and when I share it some of you may laugh and say "yeah, you totally need to embrace it." And I would agree, but hopefully you will keep reading and allow for me to explain why.<br /><br />Each year I have been trying to find a word, verse, chapter, or passage in Scripture that I can make my "<a href="http://nickmance.blogspot.com/2013/02/faith.html" target="_blank">life verse</a>" for that year, and my life in general. It has been a while since I have talked about this, because well, duh, I haven't written in a long time. But this verse has been something I have wanted to talk about for a long time! So here goes...my verse this year is <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1%3A19-20&amp;version=ESV" target="_blank">James 1:19-20</a> "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of man."<br /><br />So let me hit the obvious first. I like talking...A LOT! There have been times that certain people in my life gave a look, a smack, or just told me to stop talking because I tend to take over conversations. And most of you reading this know that about me. It isn't like I am espousing some awesome new truth about the life of Nick. I like to talk, which is probably one of the reasons I am in the profession I am now.<br /><br />But this verse has more to do with my life than just telling me to shut it, and if you will bear with me for a short (hopefully short) while I will try to explain it.<br /><br />I have noticed this past year that in many situations I have controlled a conversation I shouldn't have. I have talked way more than I should have and didn't listen nearly as much as I needed to. If I have done that to you, please accept my sincere apologies. It is never my intent to do that and I know that I have probably alienated some of you by doing so. I never look to take the spotlight or to be the focal point, but I know it sure seems that way.<br /><br />This verse has been jumping out to me like a slap to the face since November of this past year, and I only began to listen around Christmas time (another character flaw...I am super stubborn!). And when I began to listen I realized that yeah, I talk a lot but I also don't listen. If you have ever been in a conversation with me you may have noticed that when someone else speaks I tend to finish their sentences, or immediately jump in when they pause to breathe, or I just start talking over them.<br /><br />Realizing this has been hard on me. I have realized that I have made others feel like what they have to say doesn't matter, I have seemed prideful, and I have pushed people away because I don't listen. Again, I am sorry for this and that is not who I am nor who I want to be perceived as.<br /><br />This verse has challenged me to not only be slow to speak but also quick to listen. I love to fix problems! Most guys do, and because of that we, I, often offer up solutions without truly hearing what the other person is saying. So I am striving to make that my goal this year. Not to stop being a fixer or problem solver, but instead to listen, to process, and respond in kind. For me that means pausing before speaking, truly listening to others, and processing what to say in response to what was said.<br /><br />Hopefully you will begin to see a difference in how I respond when we talk. Know that this is a process for me and I am learning through this. Please help keep me accountable and be willing to grab me by my face to make me listen if necessary (just not too hard, I am pretty fragile), and be praying for me. God is teaching me a lot and I have been really challenged by this. My prayer is two-fold in this. One that God helps to make me a better Christ follower and leader, and two that others may see Christ in me and have a desire to grow to be more like Him as well. I want to be man of God who is seen as righteous not because of anything I do, say, or think but because I am following the Word of God and living by it.<br /><br />So there it is. An open and honest look into my life and how God is stretching me. Thanks for taking time to read this.<br /><br /><br />Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-11056741767956350862015-02-10T15:11:00.000-08:002015-02-10T15:11:35.240-08:00Life update and my attempt to get back into bloggingWow! It sure has been a while hasn't it? It has been more than a year since I last wrote. That isn't because I don't have anything to say or because I lost my love of writing, life just got....well busy. My last post was from shortly after Elise and I said "I do", and then from there life took off for us! It has been a whirlwind to say the least, and I know if you read <a href="http://eliseloyola.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Elise's blog</a> you have probably been more up to date with our lives. But I figured I would give everyone a glimpse as well to start off my foray back into blogging. Oh and if you are noticing the new design and layout, you can give props to Elise because she redesigned this a little while back and did an amazing job!<br /><br />So after I wrote my last post, Elise and I were enjoying our new found life of marriage, but I was also looking for a new job. Many of you know my passion is in youth ministry and helping students to see the love, grace, and healing that Christ brings. And because of that I had been looking for youth ministry positions for a while, and God's timing couldn't have been more perfect.<br /><br />I had a great job that I was super thankful for in Clinton but it was coming to an end and I knew that I would soon be unemployed if I didn't have a new position, but God led Elise and I to Parkview Church in Iowa City. Now neither of us thought we would end up staying in Iowa. I for one was not really sold on the whole Midwest style of living. Coming from the most densely packed state in the country to a river town with not much around was a complete culture shock for a Jersey Boy like me, but Iowa City was different. It was more urban but with a small town feel. The university and hospital was bringing a ton of young people in, and the surrounding area was exploding with people moving in. It seemed like every day something new was being built.<br /><br />When Elise and I visited we were a little bit skeptical because we had a packed schedule over a weekend visit, and from the moment we arrived we hit the ground running! Dinner, visiting with staff, dessert, grabbing some sleep, breakfast, contract talk, coffee, meeting more staff, lunch, touring downtown, coffee, more meetings....you get the idea it was a lot of meetings and food. And let me tell you...The food is amazing!<br /><br />Anyway, we wrapped up the weekend with me teaching Sunday morning and then attending a Sunday night Youth Group program and we headed home late Sunday night. The whole way back (in fact the whole weekend) Elise and I couldn't stop talking about the church and how we felt there was something different about this position. A couple weeks later after a lot of prayer, conversation with some awesome Godly people, and talking with one another I formally accepted the position at Parkview and joined a team of two others to form a complete Student Ministries office.<br /><br />Elise then transitioned to part-time with the newspaper she worked at, and as that was happening I was commuting on the weekends to Parkview to begin working with the team and the students. It was a lot for us as newlyweds to handle, but it seemed that God was giving us the strength to make it through it all. I mean I honestly wouldn't recommend to anyone to get married, switch jobs, and move with a 2-3 month period. It was a little crazy to say the least!<br /><br />Our first few months in Iowa City there were crazy times. We were settling in, trying to adjust to a new pace of life, dealing with dental issues (root canals), transitioning jobs again for Elise, and just trying to live as a married couple. It was tough at some points but through it all Elise and I grew closer and our marriage continued to get stronger! We made some awesome new friends, adjusted to life in a university town (or small city depending who you ask), settled into our jobs (both now at the church), and began to see why God wants us here!<br /><br />I am loving the ministry I am in, and Elise has jumped right in to help with the high school youth ministry, and has been a huge asset to what we do here. Now life is settling into a pattern, as much as it can being in ministry. We have some super busy times, but always find time to be together and just enjoy being married.<br /><br />Here are a few other brief updates on my life:<br /><br /><ul><li>Currently our youth team is planning our first concert at Parkview through our Student Ministries office and having The Digital Age come out on March 1st. It promises to be an awesome time and the outreach will be great as the Gospel will be presented.&nbsp;</li><li>I have applied to and been accepted by Liberty University and plan to pursue my masters in Biblical Counseling with a Youth and Family Emphasis in the Fall of 2015.</li><li>I am beginning to work on two books and hope to eventually finish them. One will be on youth ministry and the different styles of leadership. The second will be semi-autobiographical with a focus on dealing with abuse in a Christian home and how to help all those involved (parents, siblings, the abused, and the abuser) as well as the church's response to it.</li><li>And I am another year older! Bring on the thirties in less than a year.</li></ul><div>I hope that those of you who read this are relatively caught up, and hopefully looking forward to my ramblings. If not, just pretend you are so I feel good (haha just kidding). But I do plan to write a bit more now and share some of my thoughts, passions, and understandings of life, Scripture, and a little bit of everything else. God bless all!&nbsp;</div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-31546060075328498502013-08-02T12:14:00.000-07:002014-03-29T14:31:30.168-07:00Proactive ways to enhance your marriage before (and after) you say “I Do”<br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I am married now! I know right?! I am thrilled to be a husband and to have a wife to go home to every day. It is a dream come true for me. I married my best friend and I couldn’t be happier.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because of getting married, it has taken me a little while to get back to blogging as with the whirlwind of wedding planning, the wedding and honeymoon themselves, with moving Elise from her old place to our new home, and looking into ministry opportunities time has been anything but present or available. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But even with all the busyness, craziness, and stress nothing could damper married life. I love being married to my wife. In fact, I just like saying “my wife” because it comes naturally for me. I know for some of you reading this you will hasten to say “Be careful it is the honeymoon period” or “Just wait until you can’t hang out with the boys” or “Wait until dinner isn’t ready”. But in reality I don’t think Elise and I have a “honeymoon period” nor will we be looking to jump on to any one issue to damper our relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sure I know hard times will come, disagreements will abound, stress will arise, and hardships will show their faces but that doesn’t mean I have to love being married any less. Elise and I know that marriage takes work and that we have growing to do, but I also know that we have entered into the covenant prepared. What I would like to communicate to you are some proactive steps to take before marriage to help prepare you to deal with problems that could, and most likely will, arise during your marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Open and honest communication<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Communication in any relationship is vital to its success. If you cannot talk to one another, than simple issues become problems, problems become grudges, grudges lead to hurt, hurt leads to unsolved heartbreak, and heartbreak leads to unresolved issues that fracture a relationship. Communication is hard for me personally as I tend to internalize and attempt to deal with all my problems on my own. But this leads to stress, emotional distress, and more gray hairs than I care to mention. This step will take some concessions from both people as you must learn to be open and honest about what is going on in your life, which also means being willing to go on to step two. For those preparing to go into marriage seek out meaningful conversation, ask open-ended questions, and look to know your future spouse better than anyone else. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be willing to accept fault and apologize<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When you are being open and honest there will come times when you will need to admit you messed up and apologize for what you have done. This takes a great amount of humility and self-awareness on the part of the one admitting wrong, but the one to whom it is being conveyed should also exercise step three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Admitting wrong and seeking forgiveness and grace will always point us towards our heavenly Father. When we begin to see how He bestows grace on those who confess we understand just how pivotal it is for us to follow suit. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Always forgive<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When your spouse, or soon to be spouse, comes to reconcile and ask forgiveness, do not hold out on granting that to them. Forgiveness is essential in a marriage. If you harbor pain, hurts, anger, and resentment you will not only become embittered, you will always assume the worst, seek to hurt your spouse, and always be looking for excuses and a way out. This is not how a marriage should look. Again, we are to remember Christ’s example to us, in how He loved us in spite of our short comings and always forgave even when it was underserved. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Engage in premarital (and possibly other) counseling<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is something that to most Christians seems like a no-brainer as it has become almost the norm for any Christian couple to have some sort of premarital counseling. But most Christians also have a preconceived notion that it will be just a “ho-hum” sort of thing, where it will be rife with awkward conversations, outdated material, and little if any help to an actual marriage. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Going to a counselor is one the best things you can do as a couple because it forces you to think through issues you may not have as a couple, you see your differences and learn to work with them, you see the ways you are strong and weak as a couple, and you learn how to love better. Going to see a counselor doesn’t mean you are weak or that you have problems, but it does help you to stop problems from occurring, and grow in your love for one another.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be a servant<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This I cannot emphasize enough. Marriage is not about you. Marriage is not about one person or the other. It is about two becoming one and each working to serve the other in order to benefit each other. This is hard to do, and if you enter a marriage believing you can begin to model it only after you say “I do” you are horribly mistaken. This needs to start taking place before you even begin to think about marriage. I keep coming back to the model Christ set forth (because it is the only model we need) and Christ modeled being a servant throughout His entire ministry and as such we need to model this to our spouses. Learn self-sacrificing love that seeks to build each other up (see step six), strive to serve through all aspects of your life, and never use being a servant as a manipulative tool. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t look to criticize, look to empower<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When you are in a relationship you should never look to criticize your significant other or put them down. Our society says otherwise. If you watch television, go to the movies, or witness relationships that are self-seeking and not about serving, you can see clearly how both partners put each other down. This is not love, this is not the cornerstone for a relationship, and in fact this will destroy any relationship you have. We should not look to break down one another but instead we should look to encourage and build up our spouses. They are set apart for us by God and should be treated as the very gift they are to us. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seek to put aside love of self<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Marriage is interesting because you learn more about yourself by putting yourself aside. That isn’t to say you don’t care about yourself or your needs, but rather you put someone else’s needs before your own. This is a tough nut to chew because truly loving someone means putting their needs and desires ahead of your own, understanding it isn’t always about you, and realizing that love and marriage takes work.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Put God as the center<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you truly want your marriage to be one that grows and is a blessing to both people, than God must be the center. I can tell you that sharing the same faith and love for God that my wife does, has made my marriage a thousand times better. To see her passion and love for God as we serve in our church, as we pray, as we read the Bible, it makes me love her all the more. God is the reason we are together, the reason we click, the reason we always will be together, our Rock in hard times, and the cornerstone of our marriage. He will get us, and you, through the hard times, be there during the good times, and never will He abandon you. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seek to marry your best friend<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know that sometimes people aren’t looking to get married and that person appears seemingly at random, but that shouldn’t stop you from seeking to know that person as best you can. I have been blessed to marry my very best friend. Elise and I have known each other for over seven years now, and because of that we know so much about each other. Sure there is always more to learn, like what type of laundry detergent someone likes, but that comes with time. My point is that even on those rough days where you are in a disagreement with your spouse, you realize it is your best friend and the love of your life and know that together you can make it through anything. In short, don’t settle for marrying someone other than your best friend, someone other than the one person who you cannot live without. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pray and read the Bible together<o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is listed at number ten, but in no way should this be the last thing you think about when it comes to your relationship. Reading the Bible and praying together develops an intimacy that few people realize. When two people read the Bible, a book that has dramatically changed their lives, and pray with each other their emotions, brokenness, and vulnerability. This is when intimacy based in Christ begins to develop in the relationship and it only culminates when eternity with Christ begins. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know this has been a long post, and I know it is a post that some may write off due to the fact that I have been married for less than two months. But let me assure you that these are areas that will truly help you before, during, and after your marriage. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So in short: Learn self-sacrificing love, that seeks to build each other up, live to love each other through service, know that little things matter (sometimes more than the big ones), always say I love you, spend time together, seek to grow in your relationship with God together, and always put Him at the center of your marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0Clinton Clinton41.862675 -90.18611tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-65504011175737649162013-07-06T12:22:00.001-07:002013-07-06T12:22:56.258-07:00Will you Take the Plunge? Trust is a two way street.What do youth want? It is a question that many of us have asked ourselves over the years. Based upon how confused my parents were by having five children go through their teens relatively close together, most parents have no idea what teens want. Most teachers don't know, and we see this&nbsp;in their sometimes comical attempt to relate to students. I had a teacher try to rap one time to a bunch of suburban kids in an affluent area in New Jersey&nbsp;while he wore Birkenstock,&nbsp;AE Jeans,&nbsp;and a Ralph Lauren polo. I have seen churches try to relate to students by holding "teen nights" that usually include loud music, junk food, a speaker hyped up on caffeine and Monsters, and a bonfire. But if you were to take a poll of the students in attendance and asked them if their needs were met,&nbsp;most of them would say no.<br /><br />Now let me say one thing. This is not true in all cases. Some parents, teachers, and churches do an absolutely wonderful job relating to their students. And to those of you who do, I commend you! You are seeing, hearing, and meeting the call to reach our youth. But this post isn't about them, it is about the others who don't, and most notably churches.<br /><br />You see in working with students I have had the unique opportunity to engage with them.&nbsp;And if there is one thing you should know about students, it is this: They don't trust easily. Students in today's society have learned to be guarded, reserved, closed, and withdrawn from anyone seen as an authority figure. They do not trust those who are older than they are because that trust has been broken too many times to count and they do not want to be hurt again. <br /><br />Youth today need for us as their leaders and mentors to be trustworthy. This is the first thing we need to realize as youth leaders. Students see this so clearly in everything we do and say. If we say we are going to do something, be somewhere, take them out, show up at their school, or any promise we make we had better stick by it! Students today have been so lied to, strung along, hurt, and misdirected that they are just waiting for us to break our promises or for our word to not be good enough.<br /><br />Think about this for a moment. Were you ever lied to as a student? Did someone tell you they would be there for you and they weren't? Did you ever feel like someone let you down? The answer is yes! We all have. But the truth of the matter is that over time this didn't get any better, and in fact it has gotten worse. When we were younger we could rebound off of a let down or being lied to, but students today have come to accept this as the norm! No longer does our word mean anything. No longer does telling someone you are there for them hold any salt. No longer do students trust us! We need to earn their trust by showing them we are invested in their lives, their futures, and in them personally and spiritually.<br /><br />As believers we are told to stick by our word! <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205:33-37&amp;version=ESV">Matthew 5</a> points this out very clearly for us. We are told to let our answers be honest and true. We are told that our whole relationship with Christ is based upon trust and faith. And if we cannot model this to our students then why on earth should they listen to what we have to say?<br /><br />Trust will change our students' lives! Could you imagine what would happen to just one student if someone kept their word 100% of the time with them? Could you see them beginning to trust that person? Can you see the relationship that would be built? In order for us to reach them with the Gospel we first need to establish that we can be trusted. If we are not being honest and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians%204:11-16&amp;version=ESV">truthful</a>, then why should they trust and believe what we have to say? There is no reason for belief if they cannot trust those who teaching.<br /><br />We as leaders have a high calling to lead younger generations towards the saving grace of Christ. This can only be accomplished by first building a <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Titus%202&amp;version=ESV">framework</a> that is founded upon trust in the power of the cross! <br /><br />Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623548512751465622.post-77854452290569714342013-06-26T13:09:00.000-07:002013-06-26T17:10:15.182-07:00What I have learned about love by being engagedWow, it has been a fairly long time since I last posted. To all of you who actually read this, I apologize for my lack of attentiveness to this blog. But if you know me, then you know I have been extremely busy these past few months. Wedding planning can take up a lot of time, but I have enjoyed every minute of it. And through it all I have begun to realize something. Something has been made so crystal clear to me, like it never was before. <br><br>I have realized how incredibly in love I am with <a href="http://eliseloyola.blogspot.com/">Elise</a>. Now please don't write this post off as a lovey-dovey post, because although I do intend to be open about my feelings for Elise, I am going to dig deeper into what love is as portrayed by the Biblical model set forth for us. But you see I only began to completely understand this love, the love a husband has for his wife, as I have begun to spend&nbsp;so much time with Elise.<br><br>I never used to love others that much. In fact I would go so far as to say I was pretty self-centered. Sure I loved my family, maybe even some of my friends, but I was always number one. My priorities, my needs, my wants, my desires were always to be met first because I was the most important person in my life. Of course I loved God and put Him first, but I believe my love for Him has grown exponentially through this life changing journey I am on with Elise. <br><br>It all started when Elise and I began dating last year. For the first time in my life I began to put someone before myself. It was such a struggle, because my needs weren't first anymore for me. I cared about her. I sought to make her feel loved and special. I went out of my way to spoil her and make her feel like a princess. No longer was it "What does Nick want for dinner?", it was now "What does Elise want for dinner and how can I make it special?". You see I finally was understanding what true love is.<br><br>Love isn't about loving yourself. Love isn't about meeting your needs. Love isn't about how you feel. Love is sacrificial. Love is understanding. Love is being a servant. Love is being a leader. Love is loving someone else in a way that you would lay your life down for them. Love is so much more than a feeling or a desire, or the corrupted versions we see in film, television, and in novels. Love is rooted deeply in our Father God who modeled this for us in so many ways. The purpose of this blog post, as I said earlier, is to demonstrate the love God has for us and then looks at how we are to implement that love in our lives in practical and real ways.<br><br>The very best place to start looking at love in the Bible is at the beginning...the very beginning. If you look through the first <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201-3&amp;version=ESV">three chapters of Genesis</a> you will see a love unlike any other. God created a place for us as humans to live, grow, worship, commune together and with Him, experience life, emotions, and freedom all under this banner of love He has for us. God gave mankind everything they needed because He loved them and wanted someone to share this love with. We neither had nor deserved the life He gave us, but freely He gave it anyway. <br><br>Then what did mankind go and do, but mess everything up. We had it all, and we threw it in God's face in a moment, because we are selfish and our love was for ourselves. But God didn't turn His back on us. Instead He did something we all struggle to do when we are hurt and maligned. God forgave us, put a sacrifice in our place, clothed us, offered us redemption, and still loved us all the more. This is a love that is undeserving, its a love we didn't earn, it is a love we could never purchase or offer anything for it, and yet God freely gave it to us.<br><br>Our first lesson on what love is, is this: Love, that is love modeled by God Himself, is free, forgiving, and full. God first gave His love freely. God didn't have to make man, He didn't need to provide a place for Him to live, He didn't have to make a provision when man sinned, and He didn't need to give us anything. And yet that is exactly what He did. God gave His love to us free of charge and didn't ask for anything, except for our love in return. Next God's love is forgiving. Mankind slapped God in the face. Not only did they break His one commandment, they then ran and hid in an attempt to not be caught, then they lied about it. God had every right to condemn them and to rid the world of this despicable race that had now broken His heart, but instead God grieved and loved them more than they deserved. God offered them redemption and forgiveness. They didn't deserve it, they couldn't earn, they had no right to it, but God still offered it. Lastly we see how full God's love is. God doesn't just love us if we follow His rules. He doesn't only love us if we are perfect. He loves us no matter who we are. God created us to love us. God doesn't want any of us to perish <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20peter%203:9&amp;version=ESV%203:9&amp;version=NIV">but all of us to come to a saving knowledge</a> of Him because He wants us to share in that love with Him. <br><br>Let us look at another passage or rather passages within the Gospel of Matthew. This is a love story about Christ coming into a world that was opposed to Him and embracing everyone He encountered, and then calling on them to turn from their sin and come to Him. The first thing we can see about love is that Christ met people where they were at and brought them to repentance. He met the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%208:1-4&amp;version=ESV">lepers</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%209:18-25&amp;version=ESV">outcasts</a>, and those that people considered <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%204:1-45&amp;version=ESV">scum</a>&nbsp;(granted this is from John, but it serves the point). Christ's love wasn't based upon who you were, it was based upon how you needed Him. Christ came with open arms, and an open heart. All we need to do is accept Him. You want a lesson in love, Christ is the teacher for it. Christ comes offering love to those who don't deserve it, and He was unbiased about who received it, as long as they accepted Him. <br><br>The last area of love I will touch on is this. Love is self-sacrificing. Christ didn't come here demanding we love Him. In fact when all He offered was love and salvation those He offered it to <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2027:32-50&amp;version=ESV">turned on Him and murdered Him</a>. And yet Christ still sought them out. Christ came back and offered a plan of redemption and grace that characterizes the love we are to have for one another. It is a love that lays itself down, but that does so not seeking recognition, knowing some won't accept it, and knowing that it is the greatest demonstration of love that any could ever know. To lay your life down for someone who doesn't deserve it but that you love just because they are who they are is a true definition of love. <br><br>So love is this: free, forgiving, full, unbiased, it is for those who don't deserve it, and it is self-sacrificing. Love in marriage, and any relationship for that matter, should encompass all of these facets of Christ's love. There are many other qualities that I cannot touch on due to length this post would be. But let us see the magnitude and grace that God's love has for us. This is real love. The reasons marriages fail is because God isn't the center of them. Putting God first in your lives in all aspects will help you through those difficult times.<br><br>We need to realize that loving others is hard. When it comes to a spouse this can be especially true at some points in your marriage. Things will be said, feelings will be hurt, pride will be wounded. It will happen, but loving someone how Christ loved us means meeting them where they are at and not holding it against them. Show them your love and offer forgiveness. That is love! Show them how you are modeling Christ by offering forgiveness and compassion without lording it over them. Show them humility and grace, without payback. This is love, that He <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1 John+4:19&amp;version=ESV">loved us first</a> and we now demonstrate it to others. <br><br>I am not perfect. I know I cannot always love how God does because I am not God. I know I will mess up and fail. But my goal is to love like Christ loves me. He is our example, and I will do all I can to follow that. Going into this marriage I am seeking to honor Christ by loving my wife completely. I am no longer selfish, I am no long seeking gain, I am no longer seeking to be right always. Instead I am seeking to be selfless, I am seeking her gain and benefit, and I am seeking to serve and accept my imperfections while exhorting her to become better as well. Marriages are never easy, never perfect, and they take work but if you seek to love like Christ you will make it through. <br><br>And yes I do know I am new at this. In fact I am not even married yet, but it is amazing what God shows you when you read His Word and allow it to permeate your life.&nbsp;I&nbsp;also want everyone to realize that these are just a few examples of God's love that I have touched on. There are countless examples of His love for us and we are to model those examples as followers of Christ. I would love for you to share how you see God's love displayed elsewhere and how you implement it in your lives. By seeing, then implementing, and growing from it you will see your love for others and for God grow by leaps and bounds, and I would encourage that for all believers. <br><br>All this to say, I love you Elise, and I cannot wait to begin this next journey together as we seek to love God by loving each other as He loves us. I will serve you as Christ serves us, and seek to put you first always in my life. Nick Mancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06184967408382941327noreply@blogger.com1