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Monday, July 5, 2010

Day 2: The Grocery Store

I must admit I laughed as I put the title of this blog like the "grocery store" is some daunting place, but in all reality it has been for me. I don't have anything against the place, or the food it offers up, but rather walking down the aisles has always been challenging for me because random eye contact seems to initiate a random conversation.

Because of the challenge of the grocery store I felt it right to have my second outing with the sunglasses be at a grocery store (and, to be honest, I wanted carrots!).

Schuncks (the name of the store) is close so just a 2 minute drive in my car and I was there. I was hoping for more contact than yesterday's 7-11 outing as I walked through the doors and walked straight to the carrots.

Two employees of the store were discussing produce placement and I looked at them, while walking, and noticed just how much communication is done without words. I can't recall the words that were said, but the minor twitches and the look of understanding as if to say, "yes, we can do that" amazed me.

From the carrots I went to get some milk, then a Red Bull, and then I proceeded to check out.

For this experiment I did not use the express self check out lanes (these lanes have been a Godsend!) but instead I used the conventional. check out that uses real people.

I entered the line and the person in front of me instantly asked me "how I was". I got tense because this is something that usually doesn't happen. After a few words it was their turn to checkout.

When it was my turn to pay the cashier asked me the same thing, "how are you?". I, again, am not used to this. What struck me though was the level of niceness in the tones. These questions were not labored from the clerk as they usually are.

I didn't hear my total answer because I was thinking so hard upon what this weird level of niceness was. I thought, jokingly, "Wow, do I have a sign on me that says 'talk to me'?" Then I realzied that it wasn't that I had a sign that said "talk to me" but instead I don't have the sign that says "don't talk to me".

In just that short experience at the store I can surely say that when I go into a situation and don't make eye contact the social environment becomes hostile in a way. Other people get defensive and that just furthers the gap. With the sunglasses people don't know I'm looking away so they don't get defensive. Honestly, and I know this has only happened once, I feel as if a new dimension of socializing has opened up because I am not starting behind.

I often feel as if I am starting a proverbial race two laps behind because there is a different tone from others and this can only be from me looking at everything but them. Today I experienced the race starting on the same level and I could not believe the difference.

Later today I will be going to lunch at The Olive Garden, alone (if you have read "My rules > Your rules" you will understand the size of this act) and will write about it when I return home later this afternoon.

Who I Am

Hello, my name is Aaron Likens and thanks for visiting my blog. I am the Autism Ambassador for Easter Seals Midwest and also the author of the book "Finding Kansas. My passion in life is to raise the awareness and understanding of the autism spectrum through this blog as well as the many presentations I give. For myself, as much as it is a passion, it is personal because I was given the diagnosis of Asperger's when I was 20. Back then there wasn't much info and I fell into a pit of despair. I stayed there for 15 months but then I eventually discovered myself through writing and now here I am and here you are on my blog. There are well over 1,000 posts on this blog as I started blogging in March of 2010. So whether you're reading today's blog, or are skimming through stories of the past, I hope that your time here gives you a better glimps of what living life on the autism spectrum, or, "other side of the wall" is like. If you do like what you see please follow me on Facebook as that's where I share when I've written a new blog as well as announcing where I will be presenting. Please note that the opinions expressed on this blog are mine and may not be reflective of Easter Seals Midwest.

The Sunglasses Experiment

I ran a sunglasses experiment to judge why eye contact is so difficult. I wore them for about 15 days, then I switched back to my normal glasses to see how big of a difference there was. By clicking my picture you can be taken to the page that has the complete experiement all in one place.

About Me

I am the Autism Ambassador for Easter Seals Midwest and also the author of Finding Kansas: Living and Decoding Asperger's Syndrome. My passion in life is raising awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorders and to help the world understand how the mind of a person on the spectrum works. I can do this because I am on the spectrum (Asperger's).
I was diagnosed at the age of 20 and after the diagnosis a lot of my quirks made sense. I didn't understand who I was though and went into a deep depression. Through this depression though I became very keen on my inner self and I started to write. I wrote and I wrote and before I knew it I wrote a book.
5 years later I am, among other things, giving presentations to police, teachers, and parents and am now starting my quest on making the best blog possible!
The views on this blog are mine and may not be reflective of Touch Point Autism Services.
If you have any questions, or comments, or have an article idea please email me at aaron.likens@yahoo.com.