Tag: sacred space

You’ve opened your heart, trusted someone you cared about, allowed yourself to be vulnerable, and he or she stabbed you in the back. Now, you look back and can see every red flag that indicated this might be coming, and you ignored them because you saw the only goodness and the sacred potential in this person. Still, you were stabbed in the back.

People disrespect you, friends let you down, even your own family could betray you. No doubt, betrayal leaves wounds and scars that can endure and cause the deterioration of your entire system, body, mind, and spirit.

What should you do when you’ve been stabbed in the back?

Jesus had the nerve to suggest you should forgive those who stab you in the back 7 times 70 times (Matthew 18:22), and I’m certain that it’s not about the math problem so much as it is about if someone stabs you in the back you should just forgive them over and over again.

Forgive them, yes, but do not let them walk all over you.

What can you do when you’ve been stabbed in the back?

You can forgive them for not honoring your ability to ability to only see them in the best light. No need to punish yourself for putting your faith in – and trusting – someone else, which would be the natural response of your ego which stands in judgment of everyone and everything, even you.

At the very least, take sacred action to set boundaries for those who disrespect you, and distance yourself from those you know have a propensity to stab you in the back.

You are responsible for the perseverance of your sacred space. Do not let anyone take your power away or have dominion over you. Remember that even in the worst situations someone may be able to impose their will over your body, but you must allow them to have dominion over your mind. Stop giving your power away. Do not allow them to exert authority over your mind.

Pay more attention. Remember the old adage, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you.” Not all people are loving, open, honest, and respectful of others, like you. Every now and then, your bound to run across the occasional psychopath, sociopath or narcissist, who could certainly throw your otherwise peaceful or harmonious life off-balance, or worse, even turn your whole world upside down.

Unfortunately, there are people out there who do not have your best interest at heart. Some people are just toxic, and it’s up to you to decide what’s best for you to do.

When you’re just getting started setting boundaries, “back off,” and a firm, “no” are good ways to protect your sacred space. Drawing firm lines in the sand (metaphorically or otherwise) around you is also effective.

When you’re totally comfortable with the idea of protecting yourself from the negative influence or impact of others on your psychological wellbeing or your life at all, then you can consider the idea of loving them unconditionally.

Loving others, and blessing those who hurt you, is a tough row to hoe, but if you wrap your heart and mind around the idea that everyone (including you) is only doing the best with what they have, you might be able to imagine having compassion (not feeling sorry) for that person. Consider, if you were in his or her shoes, having lived the very life that he/she had lived up to that point, you would have responded in exactly the same way.

You might be able to find the wherewithal to forgive the person by whom you were stabbed in the back, or maybe even not judge them for any wrongdoing at all, for they were simply doing the best the could with the tools they had at the time.

Don’t worry if all that love seems inconceivable at present, but at the very least, stop letting yourself be stabbed in the back.

They might say they love you or have your best interests at heart. If that’s true, then why doesn’t it feel like love? Because they don’t love you. There’s something more sinister going on behind the scenes. What can you do about it?

You have people, family, friends, and coworkers in your life with whom you share an obligatory relationship. No matter how much these people profess to have your back, when you’re in their presence, you don’t feel good. In fact, you feel quite the opposite.

They drain your energy, don’t respect you, your point of view, won’t let you get a word in edgewise, because they are more in need of an audience or support, and your presence is necessary for them to feel good.

It’s really not about you. It’s about them. Needing support is not a bad thing, but it’s so much better when it goes both ways. We all need support and in a reciprocal relationship, there is a sacred give-and-take when it comes to being loving and supportive.

Not all your friends are toxic vampires, but you know there are some that you would probably feel better if they did not have as much access to you during the course of your life.

There are your friends who have always been there, and you have let them have access to you anytime they needed for a long time, possibly since childhood. There are friends who are just around you as you go through life, they are your neighbors, coworkers, and casual acquaintances who are just there, taking advantage of you’re being there.

Then there are the closest of all relationships which you maintain, and it’s up to you to take an active role in the management of these relationships. There are certain types of energetically draining persons whom you would be better off without by limiting their access to you.

Of course, there are the toxic friends and energy vampires, you would be better off without, but there are others also. It’s up to you to decide which ones need to be trimmed-back for your higher good.

There are those who are all about themselves, expect you to support them but offer nothing in return. Those who want to control you and everything you do (and think, if they could). Those who refuse to have an empathetic response when you bear your soul, and often argue and debate with you about your beliefs in an order to save or convert you to their beliefs. The overbearing asserters who make you feel like they’re demanding a “My way or the highway” approach to you and yours.

The continual fearful pessimists, who always look at the negativity and potentiality of failure in all areas of your life, who would dissuade or prevent you from moving forward, growing, expanding, or reaching out to achieve your highest and best. They the perpetual complainers who rarely, if ever, have anything good to say.

You should probably consider discharging the drama kings and queens from your life who tend to let their trauma overflow into yours. Helping someone out in their hour of need, and potentially suffering consequences yourself in the process is admirable, but for those who are continually in dramatic turmoil, that is another issue altogether.

There are those who have little or no self-esteem who masquerade as self-righteous and pompous to overcompensate for their lack of feeling good about themselves. They may be entertaining, cute, or funny, but are prone to jealousy, putting others down, insulting and criticizing everything and everyone else.

The gossipmongers who are always talking behind everyone else’s back (realizing that they are also talking behind your back, too, does not require a Ph.D. in psychology).

There are two types of liars which you might think about dealing with, pathological and fanciful. Pathological liars are often predatory, will misrepresent everything, exaggerating the details, and presenting you with overwhelming amounts of false data, while the fanciful liars will offer up endless non-fact-based stories without ill intent. Pathological liars are harmful and destructive. Fanciful liars mean no harm, but they can be as much a drain on your energetic resources.

Keep in mind, while it seems as though they don’t love you, they might actually love you in their own way. After all, they’re only doing the best they can with what they have, so there’s no need to be unkind as you’re going about the business of limiting their access to you.

If you want to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place, a little social maintenance in your circle of influence can go a long way.

The preservation of your sacred space is up to you, and you are the only one who can control it.

Surround yourself with those who love and support you and hold them dear.

We all need people to get the best things in life, paradoxically, there are many people who will block your attempts to live a better life. So, to protect yourself, you hold the supportive people close to you and reject those who don’t. Build bridges don’t burn them.

Its no secret that we are surrounded by others who are there to share this experience of life, both the good and the not so good. Once you start focusing on your individual journey it’s easy to get in the pattern of extricating people from your life.

There is a certain as you clean up your people space, you realize how powerful you can be in controlling your personal space, and you get used to the idea of pushing others away. While this is important in the beginning, as you mature you realize that is better to build bridges instead of burning them.

It’s a fact, we need people. They help support us, and even the most difficult people can hold the keys to greater personal growth and expansions. They might even be the gatekeepers of the one elusive thing you are looking for.

If you are in the habit of pushing others away, it is likely that you are pushing other opportunities away as well. It is far better to allow and gather than to burn and clear. They are on opposite ends of the energy flow spectrum.

If you want the best things in life to be attracted to you and come easily then you want to remain in a state of loving acceptance, building bridges as you go. Those who are burning bridges can still have everything they want in life but will have a more difficult road ahead as they work hard and fight for everything their heart desires.

It takes far more time and energy to build and maintain bridges, rather than just burning them as you go. Building bridges, keep the line of communication open between those who are less desirable without having to burn the bridge and completely cutting off the relationship.

Building and maintaining a bridge with people who are abusive to you is never encouraged unless you can manage a way to maintain connection without being at risk of further abuse. Otherwise, it is likely important and meaningful to keep lines of communication open with those people in your life which might look as if they appear not to be beneficial at first blush.

Difficult people who are brought into your life often are the most valuable as you grow and expand, as they are placed in your life at the most provocative times to help either challenge or redirect you to opportunities which would have otherwise not been overlooked by you as you were focused on your journey, without taking the time to slow down, stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

In this respect, you are far better off to embrace the advice to build bridges don’t burn them, in effect to keep yourself in a state of openness and allowance, so that the best things in life can come to you easily.

A requirement to have the greatest state of welcoming and allowance is to wrap your head around the idea of not taking things personally and allowing what is to be.

Not taking things personally means that you are open to all possibilities, When someone says or does something, you realize that it has very little (probably nothing) to do about you at all. In most (if not all) cases, when someone says or does something that doesn’t sit right with you or is contradictory to what a concept that you hold dearly, it is not about you, it’s about them.

When people are hurting and in pain or incongruence in their life, they strike out at others. This is simply a person crying out, not attacking you. Once you understand this, you can be more compassionate and empathetic to their plight.

Allowing what is to be is simply what it is. What is, is what is, and it doesn’t need your attention or intervention if it doesn’t directly affect you. You can look at something that doesn’t resonate with you, acknowledge it, shrug your shoulders and just accept that it is happening, but not letting it derail your vibration or train of thought.

Build bridges don’t burn them. Without subjecting yourself to abuse, welcome and allow others to be in your life without taking things personally and allowing what is to be.

If you’re ready for something new, then you’re ready to create the space for something new.

Something old might need to be cleaned up or discarded to make space for something new.

The act of making space creates the energy necessary to increase the attraction of new things into your space. Create a vacuum and the universe will fill it.

Good things are coming to you… they are looking for space. Honor those good things by making the space for them.

Create space in your time. Are you always on-the-run? Schedule unscheduled time; make the space for something… anything and something will fill the space for you.

Frustrated about your wardrobe? Clean out your closet and see what apparel becomes more appealing, finding its way into those empty spaces.

Create space for a better life. Set aside an hour a day for your personal growth. Fill it with whatever comes, from meditation to hardcore personal research and development. This is your time.

Do an inventory of all the old things cluttering your life and bogging you down in old vibrations. A little housecleaning, garage sale, donation to charity or trip to the dump will ready you now only for a higher vibration, but might change your whole world as the things you’ve longed for have clear landing fields.

Where you are, right now, is a result of your vibration and the lack of space for something new. To expand yourself, you need a little elbow room, enough to make the space for new growth and expansion.

If you keep nesting in your old life, surrounding yourself with your old stuff because there’s a comfort in nostalgia which fuels the fear of the unknown, this may imbue you with a false sense of security. If this is so, you are likely to remain stuck in the life you’ve always known with some degree of compromise, comfortably numb. If you really are ready to begin your new life, make space for it.

It’s up to you to take the action, for if something did appear where would it go? If you have no time in your schedule, space in your home, office, closet, shelf space… It’s not welcoming the good things that long to bless you.

You might feel guilty about making space in your life. Many people find themselves compelled to put others before themselves, second guessing their potential for personal growth or change because it feels selfish in some way, or one might feel undeserving of anything good at all.

If you desire to move to the next level, you need to start saying goodbye you your old life of morbid mediocrity and making a concerted and conscious effort to move into the space where your personal best awaits.

Carving out an hour a day, a foot of closet space, cleaning out a section of the garage, making room on your bookshelf, spending less time with someone who drains your emotional reserves, whatever it is… this is the least selfish thing you can do.

Though your inner voice might condemn you about the pressing needs of your boss, clients, partner, children and friends who desperately need to consume every waking moment adding stress and strain to your already hectic pace, but the truth is

You cannot best serve or help anyone if your cup is empty.

Making space for something new is important self-care. You need to fill your cup to have more to offer those whom you love and care about.

Be bold enough to make it a priority to acknowledge your need and worthiness, while suspending disbelief long enough to dream a new dream and make space for your abundant metamorphosis.

If you do nothing, the weeds will overtake your garden, choking out any hope of new life. While you look at a distance, the patch of weeds looks green and lush enough to be pleasant. A closer look will lead way to disappointment as you consider the loss of potential fruit that could have occupied that very space, especially if you have desire or hunger for something besides the weeds.

A little weeding out the things that are restricting your new growth goes a long way, whether they are in your literal or metaphorical garden, which could be your schedule, home, office or may even include people in your circle of influence.

People in your life who are demanding your attention may be counter-productive to you accomplishing your goals or having the space for someone more supportive or beneficial to come into your life.

Now is the time to allow the opportunity for new growth, make space for it and all the good things that are waiting for you will fill the space you have created.