For the first time in three years, I ran. Just now. I’m still slightly dewy from the little baby sweat I broke. I’ve slowly been incorporating a plank here, a push up there, a 5 pounder whenever it feels safe. I went outside for a light walk for some wellness. My knees and back have been sore and swollen from pushing through warning signs my body gave me during a strength training workout. Nothing like a little circulation to ease the pain of inflammation. In contrast to five years ago, where two minutes of walking was a sight for the sad deterioration of a young girl, my chi flows properly now and allows the healing of muscles and aches. So, I thought I’d heal myself a bit.

Ten minutes in, without a proper sports bra, my running shorts, and while wearing dorky glasses, I didn’t give it a second thought and found myself moving quite fast and heavy. It felt so good to put weight on my bones (I can’t lift heavy like I used to, but this seemed to be working). It felt strange and so comfortable at the same time to have my heart beating fast while breathing steadily. I felt my butt and hams and quads tight, my back strong. Well, the shins and ankles were not what they were, but they accepted the challenge. Carefully, at the first reminder of my old arthritic wounds, I receded back into a brisk walk and waited a few minutes between a jog. But now I know that I’m back. I could burst into a waterfall of tears right now. Six months ago I was looking into disability and now, in less than 15 minutes I found the confidence to entertain the idea of running a 5k again, as I originally intended a few years ago before I was diagnosed with Lupus.

Thank you acupuncture. Thank you Chinese Medicine. Thank you God.

The body is marvelously made to heal itself. When we stop taking medications that kill a symptom dead in its track without every consulting with the organ that stemmed the imbalance to begin with, and give it a fruit, vegetable, or herb that brings blood and life to our ailing body, we are capable of reversing the aging process. My body still aged quite a bit with my illness and I’m sure it’ll always require mindful maintenance and consideration. Mortality will still call me out if I don’t listen to my body and push too hard. But it’s been very appreciative of the internal care I’ve spent blood and tears on. Now I can sweat a little bit.

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