Numbers Game: Ranking the mascots of the NHL (25-21)

The following is a continuation of the ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

Why, just why? Sparky the Dragon’s on Twitter kids (@SparkyNYI).

25. Sparky the Dragon- New York Islanders

Sparky the Dragon double-dipped as the mascot of the Islanders, wearing blue and orange during Islanders games, and pink, red and black for the New York Dragons (Arena Football) team until 2009. This mascot made sense for the Dragons, considering, hello, Sparky the Dragon is a dragon. But unfortunately for minority Isles owner, Charles Wang (who also owned the New York Dragons), you can’t always get what you want from applying one thing to satisfy two needs.

What was so wrong about the Gorton’s fisherman era Islanders? Honestly, just take that concept and make it a walking thing that creeps on people– I mean, takes pictures with fans and ensures everyone is having a good time at Barclays Center. Plus, the 90s are cool again and most likely every hipster in Brooklyn would flock to an arena that’s ill-fitted for hockey to 1) learn who the Islanders are and 2) dig the on fleek colors of the fisherman (is that what they say now?).

Come to think of it, what’s with mascots on Twitter anyway? Photo via @NordyWild on Twitter (Nordy’s Official Account)

24. Nordy- Minnesota Wild

Everyone says Nordy looks like Alex from Madagascar and while I won’t disagree, I will say that Nordy looks pretty bad. It doesn’t help that the Wild applied their bear logo across his face, for starters. Plus his mane is a bit unkempt.

Come to think of it, I don’t really know what really makes Nordy quite an unattractive mascot. Maybe it’s his number. I mean, 18,001 is a bit much to fit on a jersey. Plus his smile just screams “help me”, “get me out of here” or something along those lines. Minnesota made an attempt. That’s good. He is a lot less creepy than some mascots in the MLB (looking at you– actually, all of the MLB mascots except for Wally the Green Monster). But for NHL mascots, Nordy doesn’t rank quite as well.

“Go stand next to him! He won’t bite– actually, Billy, I’m not sure if he bites,” me if I was a parent. (Photo via Andy Delvin/ Oilers Entertainment Group)

23. Hunter- Edmonton Oilers

Shouts to the Edmonton Oilers for finally introducing a mascot to their organization for their first time in franchise history this season. Hunter’s namesake comes from the original owner of the then Alberta Oilers of the World Hockey Association, Bill Hunter.

But that’s about it for cutesy comments about this sure to devour anyone in its path looking mascot. Look, Hunter’s a great name for the Oilers considering it pays homage to the aforementioned Bill Hunter, but it’s probably not a great name for a lynx that for sure is a carnivore and hunts things. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me or something. Regardless, Edmonton, you tried. Am I glad you finally have a mascot, yes. It’s just a little… creepy.

The Colorado Avalanche have been feeling the Bern since they switched up their mascot from Howler the Yeti to Bernie the St. Bernard in 2009. For the first few years of Bernie’s existence, I could live with the change.

Yet, as I grow older, I become more nostalgic and cranky towards change. Howler the Yeti was better. Even in the franchise’s days as the Québec Nordiques, whatever this thing was that was the Nordiques mascot was better than this alien-looking dog (look at Bernie’s eyes and tell me he’s not something from Area 51, speaking of which, there’s an idea for you, Vegas Golden Knights, give us an alien). And what’s with the barrel, Bernie? What are you hiding from us and how did you get that past security?

Howler isn’t all that bad, just not that great. He’s average. The kind of mascot that you can be proud of, but wish could do more. Put him in a kachina jersey all year and he’d probably jump up 20 spots in my rankings.

Other than that, I really don’t have any reason why Howler fits in at 21st overall. He just does. Maybe it’s his face. Yeah, come to think of it, his face kind of bothers me. It’s almost too perfect and kind of oddly angled to a point for a nose. That thing’s probably sharp and could poke out someone’s eye. Minus 10 points for safety.