Pirate Perfume # 10: hot4u

In the annals of ‘fume bloggery hot4u will be sniffed at as having been a chilly, monochromatic, screeching nightmare of a ‘Natural Spray’.

The crisp perfume man in Rawnaq convinced me it was the closest fragrance he had to the now discontinued (sob) Accidental Wildly Zealous I’ve been combing Doha for.

He doused me head to toe, paying special attention to my shala-flaps and stood back to let the scent ‘sink-in’. I started coughing like I’d just had a visit from the surprise-exterminator who used to pop up outside the bedroom window at midnight back in the 90s. All I could do was flap my wrists around like a seal and wheez.

But alas, instead of the ‘animaly’ fizzling ember afterglow of AWZ I’d expected and hoped for I got nothing but thin acetonal-Jovan-plastic-muskage leaping in thick reeks off my skin.

For hours I smelled like a melting jug of Persil.

There was only one thing that could cheer me up and drag me out of my pesticide-enduced nausea: