dahmers love zombie:Well, I don't know. I'm around 7 inches if the Cialis really kicks in, but we've got this big pink 9 inch latex monstrosity that vibrates, and when you put my wife together with THAT thing PLUS her Hitachi Magic Wand in the other hand, really all I need to do is wait until her breathing comes back under control, divest her of her electrical accoutrements, put her feet up on my shoulders and give her twenty minutes or so of varied speed and depth. All she can do is gasp "oh shiat" and "God yes fark me with your cock". So I figure that a combination of natural enhancement, plus allowing her the mechanical aids that I simply cannot DREAM to match, and I can pretty regularly take care of her needs.

There's another way, but it involves an hour or more of neck and tongue ache, and even then there's only about a one in three chance that Dinah-Moe will hum, so I've somewhat less eager to go that route. Guess it's just the way they're designed...

You know, at first I was going to funny this, but it is much more a smart. Bravo to you, good sir!

ZAZ:If I ran a dating web site I would put in an entry for penis length in men's profiles and let women search on it. Then I would secretly let women leave feedback on their dates' penises. Then I would show men what each woman was really looking for in penis size, and show women what past dates had said about each man. Then I would publish the results, die in a mysterious fire, or both.

This is fine. Make sure you charge women 25 to join so that you can charge guys 25 bux a crack to leave comments and generate a score. Only increase it 1/10 inch each unique woman account commenting.

gunsmack:wellreadneck: One of the best things about being gay is that if I'm disappointed, I can just flip him over.

That one there is worth a month of TF.

Thanks. Glad someone appreciated it, my old man sure didn't. Probably just realized all that"It's not the size of the wand, it's the fairy swinging it that counts" bullshiat I've been feeding him over the years was just that.

bearded clamorer:UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: If the average penis is just under six inches, and the average vagina is approximately 8-inches deep, there is over 4,734 miles of unused pussy in the United States.

I'm still trying to remember who originally wrote that joke...Pryor did a similar bit...I'm thinking Richard Jeni...

solitary:More men have tiny penises than big ones. Some asian men only have an inch. The biggest man I ever had was hung like my forearm. Took many tries to get a condom on it rock solid, it hurt to fark him. Most of the pleasure was in the pure freak value. He was pretty proud of it. I suspect he liked showing it off.

1. adolescent virgins,2. either sexually incompetent or always going out with sexually incompetent partners, or3. have a micropenis.

Number 3 is the only valid excuse for caring.

See, I was worried as hell for the longest time because I was a virgin. Once I got some and found that not only was it okay but that I could also do sex really well in other ways that wouldn't send me to the asthma-cloud in the sky, I was fine. It doesn't have to big. It just has to be big enough.

My dick cost a late-night feeYour dick got the HIVMy dick plays on the double feature screenYour dick went straight to DVDMy dick: bigger than a bridgeYour dick look like a little kid'sMy dick: large like the Chargers, the whole teamYour shiat look like you're 14My dick: locked in a cage, rightYour dick suffers from stage frightMy dick: so hot its stolenYour shiat look like Gary ColemanMy dick: pink and bigYour dick stinks like shiatMy dick got a Caesar doYour dick needs a tweezer dudeMy dick is like super sizeYour dick look like 2 friesMy dick: more mass than the EarthYour dick half-staff; it needs workMy dick: been there, done thatYour dick sits there with dunce capMy dick: VIPYour shiat needs IDIts time that we let the world knowDude, you gotta let your girl goDS is the best in the businessPS- we got dicks like JesusIts time that we let the world knowDude, you gotta let your girl goDS is the best in the businessPS- we got dicks like JesusMy dick need no introductionYour dick don't even functionMy dick serve the whole luncheonYour dick looks like a munchkinMy dick: size of a pumpkinYour dick looks like Macaulay CulkinMy dick: good good lovinYour dick: good for nothinMy dick benchpress 350Your dick couldn't shoplift at thriftyMy dick: pretty damn skippyYour dick: hungry as a hippyMy dick don't fit down the chimneyYour dick is like a kid from the PhillippinesMy dick is like an M16Your dick: broken vending machineMy dick parts the seasYour dick farts and queefsMy dick: rumble in the jungleYour dick got touched by your uncleMy dick goes to yogaYour dick: fruit roll-upMy dick: Grade A beefYour dick: Made a geekMy dick: sick and dangerousYour dick: quick and painlessMy dick...'nuff saidYour dick: loves FredIts time that we let the world knowDude, you gotta let your girl goDS is the best in the businessPS- we got dicks like JesusIts time that we let the world knowDude, you gotta let your girl goDS is the best in the businessPS- we got dicks like JesusDicks like Jesus

sleeper2995:Woman talk about not dating men with a average penis size and no one bats an eye. Say you don't date girls because of their waist size and everyone loses their minds.

Similar pet peeve: Women's ads commonly require a minimum height. A 5'5" woman will want a man at least 6 ft. But if I were to say "no one under a D-cup," I'd be an arsehole.

When I first read the title, I thought it meant 5'7" tall. "Cool," I thought, "I'm taller than that." Then I realized it was about weiners, and now I'm feeling really good: "hell, mine's at least 5'10"."