Monthly Archives: February 2013

Following Lottie’s birthday bash, she very kindly agreed to answer a few questions, to enable us to see the true Lottie we know and love. I feel honoured to have participated in this interview. Please enjoy!

1. Did you enjoy your recent birthday banquet on Twitter?

Loved the banq – was very honoured.

2. What’s your favourite brand of laxatives?

2. Who’s the most famous person you would like to take tea with?

The queen – I believe she is refined n likes sherry..

3. Have you ever had a *Brief encounter*?

*shocked ears* I’m a laydee! nearest was an almost virtual romance with Charlie_chan on twitter, we were gonna go for a ride in his pink cadillac he was getting 4 his 18th berfday last year, but sadly he went OTRB 2 weeks before, I had a new dress and bonnet all sorted.

4. Have you got all your own teeth?

4. What do you think of the youth of today?

The yoof of today need a good bat round the ear – have you met leonard – he is learning – slowly.

5.Would you like to share your memories of the English Civil war?

Memories of the English civil war? we won!! I couldn’t decide if I should be roundhead or a cavlier though!

6.What action do you take when the vet takes your temperature?

The vet doesnt get near enough to take my temp – I have very good teef and I don’t do vets, or tablets or medicines – not ever.

7.What’s your favourite film?

Fave film: Aristocats

8.Are you finding flatulence a problem in old age?

8. What do you wish for yourself in your golden years?

Golden yrs wish – gingers leave me alone

9.If I gave you a Bulldozer what would you like to demolish?

Is it a CATerpillar?

10.What’s the best Christmas present you have ever had?

I discovered cat nip in my later yrs – the cat nip mouse n scratching pad is mine all mine!

I decided to call it a day at this point in our interview, as Lottie calmly fell asleep, tightly clutching her nip mouse and scratching pad. This old bat lady of the feline world, can (in my opinion) be considered a true national dragon treasure!

What better thing to start with than Lottie’s birthday, which is not exactly an adventure for most of us, but has been an awfully big adventure for her.

A Special Evening for a Special Mog!

That was Deaf Lottie’s birthday banquet. A wonderful evening enjoyed by all, with a fabulous array of costumes. The food and drink was divine and so was the company! Well done!! Gorden (f****ing) Ramsay couldn’t have done better!!

Dear Lottie, being 18 years young, was on fine form and looked as beautiful as ever in her green silk evening gown. Almost royal!

LennyStaff turned up in a magnificent suit of gold armour, while Catweasel spoke in old English all evening and nobody could understand a word he said. They both looked great though!

Mia and Manu created chaos, (as usual), when the falcon they brought with them got loose. It dive-bombed the banqueting table, helped itself to a roast duck, then promptly flew out the window. Mikey chased after it on his old nag horse and managed to retrieve it undamaged! The falcon was last spotted this afternoon inside Ryker heading for the hills.

Charlie Chips looked absolutely spiffing, with his trusty canine steed (very novel that!!) Betsy Blue Eyes also did her duty, plying copious amounts of sherry to Lottie, (purely medicinal) to boost her energy, as she was having difficulty keeping up with her incoming tweets. A job well done I think!

My thanks to Tinkie, for allowing me to smash him in the face with a custard pie and to Zoby, (stunning in her little red dress), for receiving a pie in her face with such dignity. Well caught!

The splendiferous outfits that adorned The Tardis Toms was a vision to behold. They were eager to tell all that, “In Tudor times when they had no telly, folks would amuse themselves with Blood! Death! and Rumpy-Pumpy!“

Mr Pie arrived, riding (ha!) his trusty steed. Festooned with swords, daggers and all sorts of other rubbish things bestowed on a noble cat. After dismounting, (falling on his butt), he led Lottie into the banqueting hall where she declared the Banquet officially open!

Lottie had hardly finished saying “open” when the guests descended like a plague of locusts and stripped the table of its contents. I personally, have never seen a table so full of food devoured so quickly. It was a pleasure to behold and made me proud to be a cat!!

WheezyGob entertained everyone with deafening unbelievable yodelling from dear Goblin and ukulele playing from Catweasel, their dulcet tones ricocheting across Twitter.

With a little encouragement, (couldn’t hold her back), Lottie led her guests in a birthday Conga, followed by the Time Warp to everyone’s delight, finishing off with the hokey cokey. A good time was had by all!

Is it as bird? Is it a Plane? No! It’s Mia and Manu the Dynamic Duo – two of the most photographed kitties around. They’re our Siamese celebrities – the Posh and Becks of kitty Twitter (except with brains as well as beauty!)

These two delightful felines are always up for a bit of fun and love an exciting adventure. Don’t be fooled by their appearance, although they never have a hair out of place, (jealous ears), these two pretty kitties can be extremely naughty, (but nice). Everyone loves them dearly!

Decided to find out a bit more about my furry friends and caught up with Goblin, half of the talented Wheezygob duo, for a quick interview…

What’s the best thing about being a cat?

Well, obviously being da most intelligent creature on da planet has it’s benefits… being a cat means dat I doe snot have to work for a living and dat I has staff to wait on me, which is just as it should be, of course. I fink da very best fing about being a cat is dat you gets to hang out wiv other cats, and dat is way cool!

Who’s your favourite performer?
Wivout a doubt is is Mr George Formby da maestro of da ukeleleleleleelelee eee. second to George it would have to be Hank Williams.

Would you ever steal from the fridge?
Yes. Given da opportunity I would. What sorta cat would I be if I didn’t?

Eating or sleeping. Which d’you like best?
Eating, just… I likes eating, I likes chipses very much, very much indeed, and fried eggses.

If you were a biscuit,which kind would you be?
I would be a little cracker

Do you think the Queen should have cats rather than dogs?
*laughs* are you bein’ serious? Yes, of course she should.

What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever had?
Well, I always enjoys nip toys from da Natural Pet Company, and I always gets a tin of tooona. It’s very hard to choose between da two…

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it?
In my panfur box…

Do you have a message for your fans?
Hello fans! I hopes you will continue to support Wheezygob and to enjoy our unique brand of music and yodelising.

Twitter’s one and only black panfur boy band, whose talent exceeds all others. Let’s pay homage to Goblin, whose yodelling has got to be heard to be believed and CatWeasel, whose ukulele playing would make George Formby cry envious. Many a time WheezyGob have serenaded us with their original lyrics, specially written for the occasion and at Christmas, they entertain us all by murdering singing Christmas carols. What would we do without them!

Well now, I’ve been wondering how to kick off my first post under the topic of “Lovely Things” and I think I’ve found it. For what could be lovelier than a certificate for kindness to cats?! It’s free, it’s printable and even though it’s supposedly just for kids, I can think of many a lovely grown-up cat owner who deserves one on the wall. Purrrfect.

Mr Pie, (also known as Mince), is one of our national Twitter treasures. Like most pies, he is crisp on the outside, soft and witty on the inside and easy to digest! We have had many a fun pie fight, (I throw them, he eats them) and have been on numerous virtual adventures with the rest of our Twitter pals. We all love his comical banter, as he is clever, kind, fat, funny and good to have around! If you want to meet Mr Pie, go to: piethefatcat.com/piethefatcat/Pie.html

It is well known that I am not very fond of elves, because they are noisy, nosey and always annoyingly happy. Trying to have a little snooze, (which is the right of all cats), is nigh on impossible. They giggle at the least little thing and are generally a pain in the tail! I’ve seriously considered getting in touch with, pest control, Health and Safety as I think they’re having a detrimental affect on my health. It’s a well known fact that cats need at least eighteen hours sleep a day and I doubt if I get sixteen. Disgraceful!

Here today… gone tomorrow… back again yesterday!

The Tardis Toms zoom around in time and space, with a well known doctor in tow. Benny and Fancy are their names, touring the universe is their game! It’s been my pleasure to go on numerous trips to the moon along with fellow Twitter comrades, and the Tardis Toms have always provided transport. They’re funny, kind and clever – taught the Doctor everything he knows.