Tonsillitis=antibiotics=spottiness. Excuse me WHAT?!

Cookies.

For when you start with tonsillitis and then end up with an allergic reaction to amoxicillin, AFTER the entire course is done.

I mean, COME ON.

Dear body: Okay. I get it. You are no longer tolerant of things ending in ‘cillin’, and given that I’m not crazy about antibiotics anyway (unless its a dire situation, ie. can’t see tonsils on account of too much gunk), I promise promise not to take any more of the ‘cillin’ family. Next time please can we just use our words and you can TELL me that you don’t like something, rather than SHOWING me how much you hate it with a massive out break of red spots? Okay thanks. Love, soul residing in currently very spotty environs.

Because I really really really hate being spotty. Cookies might not even assuage how much crap this is.

Now I’ve had several bendadryl and am somewhat struggling to complete my sentences. Because… I really wanted to spend my weekend looking like a red and white spotted cheetah. NOT.

Le sigh.

Since my friends all know me so well, they naturally suggested cookies. So I made myself cookies because that’s apparently what you do when your bipedally locomoting meat vehicle decides to throw a massive fit and make you unfit for viewing by other humans.

But true to form, of course I made weird cookies. I mean, I’m stuck at home being spotty so why not get weird?! Benadryl makes me weird anyway so let’s just get weirder, right?! Except weird is my normal because a) you already know I put lentils in everything and b) I’ve already subjected you to green flecks in my cookies so this is really just riffing on an old theme…. of my habit of putting green stuff where it probably doesn’t belong. Too bad. I’m spotty and I like it and therefore … obviously it belongs there. I think my life is complete now: I have successfully put lentils and power greens into a cookie and made them taste good. WHAT.

On the plus side, my tonsils look normal now!

Powerhouse Cookies

Fudgy, chocolatey, and… full of greens?! Gluten free, vegan, refined sugar free. High in protein, low in sugar. Not too sweet. So freaking easy since all you really get dirty is your food processor and a spoon. Yield: I got 19 cookies, on the smaller side (but not too small). Recipe adapted from Homemade Hearts, here!

1.5 c black lentils, cooked

1 c mixed power greens (mine was kale, chard, and spinach)

1/2 c rolled oats

1/4 c unsalted almond butter

1/4 c pure maple syrup

1.5 tsp vanilla extract

1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp fine sea salt

1/4 c extra dark chocolate chips + 1/8 c raw cocoa nibs

If needed, precook your lentils (1/2 c dry + 1 c water until soft).

Line a baking sheet (or two) with parchment paper (I used one. lazy.). Preheat the oven to 350.

In a food processor, whizz lentils and greens until uniformly blended (though there should still be a bit of texture to it). Toss in oats, almond butter, maple, vanilla, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt, and blend to combine, scraping down the sides of the food processor as needed. Remove blade, and stir in chocolate chips and cocoa nibs. Drop by the rounded tablespoon onto the prepared cookie sheets, and bake for 13 minutes, until the top is just slightly firm. Remove and let cool on a rack. Store in an airtight container in the fridge!