A beginner’s guide to day drinking in warm weather

Warm weather is here, and that means everyone will more than likely be outdoors as much as possible, the annual emergence from winter hibernation. It’s time to soak up sunshine while you can, before it gets miserably hot and the inevitable A/C retreat occurs. And of course, that means something else’s time has come. Day drinking has arrived.

What is it about great weather that makes people want to day drink? I’m not sure, but I’m not objecting. For those of you who are looking to dabble in the day drinking festivities as the days get longer and warmer, we’ve compiled a list of day drinking tips and tricks from the pros because we believe sharing is caring (21+ only please).

Tip 1: If you’re starting the day hungover, which often occurs on the weekends, the first beer is always the hardest. Get it down as fast as possible and you will feel better. We suggest something that’s essentially water, like light beer.

Tip 2: Take bonus time (otherwise known as waking up drunk) to your advantage. Think of it as, “Hey, I already pre-gamed this morning!” HELLO BUDGETING. MEET YOUR MAKER.

Tip 3: For the gentlemen (or ladies) looking to impress with your chiseled physiques when attending parties: hangover dehydration is the best and only pump you need going into the day. Skip the weights today. Drinking right after working out also gets you drunker faster. Take this knowledge as you will.

Tip 4: If you didn’t plan the morning right, and you woke up too late, or you woke up hungover*… two words. SHOWER. BEERS.

*Disclosure: My original draft of this tip included the sage advice “You can’t get hungover if you’re never sober.” My editor objected. “No, you can’t post that, people will think we endorse being drunk all day.” I have yet to remind her these are exactly the psychopaths that are reading a “How to day drink” article.

Tip 5: Eat. Carbo-load. The more fat and carbs, the better. It’s even been proven by science – and it won’t really keep you from getting drunk. The day is a marathon that will end at 3 PM if you don’t prep your body first.

Tip 7: If you don’t want to only drink beer, starting with liquor and slowly phasing into beers will help you stay up all day and keep a buzz. The reverse may make you sleepy.

Tip 8: Trying to stay coherent? Be sure you don’t switch between liquors. It gets you super drunk. Some call it the Russian roulette of day drinking – who knows if you’ll make it through the day. It will also make your hangover almost unbearable.

Tip 9: Now an expert level alert. Trying to make it to the wee hours of the night? Stop drinking around 5 PM. Switch to water temporarily. Drink water for three hours to prevent loss of memory. Eat. Resume drinking at 8 or 9 PM (but definitely don’t sober up, you won’t make it).

There you go. If you follow these nine tips, you’ll successfully day drink your way through the summer. Happy day drinking!