Friday, October 30, 2009

A close second to dying from other sources of pleasure,let us salute DEATH BY CHOCOLATE by listing a few of the preferred varieties of this style of passing:1.-By plain ingestion,just eating chocolates to death.2.-Drowning in a pool of chocolate.3.-Building a gigantic wall of chocolate and driving your car into it at 180 miles per hour.4.-Getting executed by chocolate injection.5.-Breaking into the tiger's cage and throwing chocolates at him.6.-Pile up gigantic rocks of chocolate and cause to get buried in a chocolate avalanche.7.-Fly over Honolulu in the summer in a chocolate glider until it melts.8.-Row into Niagara Falls in a chocolate raft.9.-Getting into a chocolate barrel and rolling down the Grand Canyon.10.-Get dipped in chocolate and lock yourself in an industrial freezer.

I hope this reading is for your amusement only,it is written in the spirit of comedy first,so don't try any of these at home and leave them to the experts. THE END...expect sequels in the future.Copyright by Carlos de la Parra .

So as you can see this cell phone has been manufactured excusively with biodegradable components made out of corn paste,but let's hear from one of the users,Mr.Jesse Hoffman ,a farmer from Orland ,California.....(SOUNDS OF APPLAUSE)...and now tell us Jesse....what is your opinion on this cellphone?...

----I can honestly tell you,this is great little phone...great sound ...great recception...but the problem in my personal case is that one day I forgot it in the field,and when I come back,the chickens had eaten the phone.... THE END copyright by Carlos de la Parra. Feel welcome to post a comment on all these stories.

You may find the widest variety of family names or last names however you wish to call them, listen,I have known people with the following last names:Head,Heart Hand,Foot and plenty more names that depict body parts,but I have yet to hear about anyone named Pancreas,this is highly annoying. THE END but expect more comments to come in future postings.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

THE TRIALCopyright by Carlos de la Parra.

The judge asked the defendant if he had stabbed his cell mate last monday at 6P.M.The man replied as follows---No your honor...and I ask you to make an effort to rememberthat on the day of the crime...at that exact time ...you and I happened to be at the prison'shospital..you were taking a deposition from a wounded prisoner...and I was at the bed right next to him...and that weird thing happened...like some sort of supernatural exchange of incarnations amongst us where for a couple of minutes you were me,and I was you....remember?----The judge went pale when that memory flashed back at him....----Yes...yes....now I rememberas clear as if it was then...at that moment it all seemed so strange that I feared having a stroke or something...but the doctor checked me out and he said I was in perfect health....Nowthat I have it all clear in my mind ,I must recuse myself and have another judge preside the trial to avoid a conflict of interest...I will be your witness...but trust me...this is going to get complicated... THE END....but come back for more stories.SPANISH VERSION---VERSION EN ESPAÑOL. EL JUICIOCuando el juez le preguntó al acusado que si había éste apuñalado a su compañero de celda,el hombre contestó---No su señoría...y le conmino a usted a hacer un esfuerzo por recordar...en aquel exacto momento ...usted tomaba una declaración de un prisionero herido...ahí mismo en el hospital de la prision...y en ése entonces yo ocupaba la cama de junto...y luego sucedió ésa cosa rara...como si entre usted y yo ocurriese un extraño intercambio de encarnaciones...y por unos instantes usted era yo,y yo era usted...recuerda?....El juez palideció cuando éste recuerdo se le hizo presente----Sí....sí...ahora lo tengo tan claramente como si fuése aquel instante...en aquel momento me pareció algo tan bizarro que temí ser víctima de un derrame cerebral...pero el médico me revisó y me declaró completamente sano...ahora que éste asunto me queda claro,debo recusarme ,y otro juez deberá presidir el proceso para evitar conflicto de intereses...Yo seré su testigo,pero le advierto...ésto se va a poner complicado..... FIN....pero vendrán más microhistorias.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

He;the great Romanovsky,had the audience eating from his hand.He had performed every possible act of magic you could think of including flying around the stadium.And now he was ready to enter history;he jumped into the cristal tank where he would freeze himself and disappear forever;but he chickened out and turned into jello. THE END. But more to come.Copyright by Carlos de la Parra.