QuoteReplyTopic: CODE FOR HOSPITAL STAFF IS CLOWNING YOU Posted: May 02 2014 at 1:17pm

ACOPIA

Acopia is a coded term that refers to a patient with a total inability
to cope with physical symptoms such as pain, fatigue and dizziness. It
is an extreme version of dyscopia, which means difficulty coping with
adversity. Acopia patients seek medical care at the earliest indication
of distress without waiting to see if they get better naturally and
without trying any over-the-counter or home remedies. They seldom follow
the doctor’s instructions. Acopia can also be used to describe parents
who can’t cope with the minor illnesses of their infants and young
children.

BEEMER

BeeMer means the patient has a high body mass index, or BMI — a polite way of saying that he or she is huge.

CODE BROWN

Code
Brown is a poop emergency, meaning that a patient has defecated in bed
or on the floor. It’s a play on Code Blue, which refers to CPR and other
procedures used to resuscitate a patient whose heart has stopped. Code
Brown stories are told most often by the ones tasked with the job of cleaning them up.the ones tasked with the job of
cleaning them up.

FREQUENT FLYER

Frequent
Flyer is code for a patient with so many visits to the ER in a short
period of time that they’re on a first-name basis with ER doctors and
nurses. The term is usually stated with contempt, as many frequent
flyers are poor and uninsured. Another frustration with frequent flyers
is that the ER is their go-to place for medical care because they don’t
have a family doctor, nurse practitioner or internist to provide basic
primary care.

FTD

FTD,
which is short for Failure To Die. That’s a slang term used to depict a
patient with dementia and a poor quality of life. Translation: the
resident believes that, in the, event of a cardiac arrest, it would be
futile to try and save the patient.

FULL CODE

Full
Code means if your heart stops, the doctors do a full and proper heart
resuscitation that includes CPR, electric shocks to the heart and a
ventilator.

HOLLYWOOD CODE

Hollywood
Code (also known as a Slow Code) means a pretend resuscitation in which
the doctors will look like they’re trying to save him even though they
aren’t.

HORRENDOMA

Horrendoma
is a common piece of medical slang for a situation that is awful for
the patient and well worth recounting to fellow residents – a vast
understatement in this case. The word has horrendously in its root plus
the suffix ‘oma’ which means a mass or a tumour (as in carcinoma).

MEDWIFE

Medwife
is a derogatory slang term for a midwife who thinks she’s an
obstetrician, should be accorded the same respect as OBGYNs and should
occupy a similar position in the hospital hierarchy. The respect that
the medwife wishes is often inversely proportional to their actual
knowledge and expertise.

SOCIAL INJURIES

Social
injuries is code for a patient who practices autoeroticism by inserting
objects into the rectum. These include zucchinis, cucumbers, deodorant
spray cans, wax candles and billiard ball. Social injuries only come to
the attention of general surgeons when the patient requires medical
assistance in removing the foreign object.

SUITCASE SIGN

Suitcase
sign (a.k.a. positive suitcase sign) is a term used by doctors and
nurses that refers to patients who bring a packed suitcase with them to
the ER. Health professionals use the term derisively by health
professions in reference to patients who have already decided they need
to be admitted to hospital before hearing the doctor’s opinion. In the
culture of medicine, nothing ticks off health professionals more than
having their hands tied by patients.

THREE CLINIC UNITS

Three Clinic Units is a sneaky way of saying the patient weighs 600 pounds. Each clinic unit is equal to 200 pounds.

WHINEY PRIMEY

Whiny
Primey (whine-knee prime-me) is a slang term for an overanxious woman
in the late stages of her first pregnancy. Whiny primeys assume every
cramp or minor contraction is the start of labour, and rush down to the
hospital. Invariably, these visits are false alarms, and the woman is
sent home with instructions on the symptoms of active labour. In spite
of these instructions, the woman returns to the hospital again and
again.

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