Along Route 74: These definitely aren't some of my favorite things

Sunday

Sep 22, 2013 at 12:01 AMSep 24, 2013 at 6:21 PM

This collection of thoughts could never be construed as anything remotely intellectual.

But as we get older, certain mundane life events begin to drive us crazy. Iíve been jotting down a few of those the last several weeks. So now youíll be exposed to another edition of Alan Fordís pet peeves:

The car door bouncing back as you exit and hitting you when you have your hands full.

Shoe laces you have to tie every 20 minutes.

Feeling yourself drifting off the sleep only to realize the last sound you heard was a mosquito zeroing in for the kill.

People with the bass on their sound system so loud your car seems to bounce up and down with theirs when they pull up next to you at a stoplight.

That last little bit of tooth paste that wonít come out of the tube no matter how hard you squeeze, push or bend it.

A fly/gnat that wonít go out the car window no matter how many times you try to shoo it that direction.

That loud individual at the next table over who wants everyone in the place to know he/she is talking on the phone.

Having to clean your eyeglasses every 30 minutes.

People with obscenities on their T-shirts out in public or on their back bumper.

Stores that have every single soft drink known to man Ė along with their diet and caffeine-free varieties Ė except the one youíre looking for.

Birds that zero in on your car from above and leave all other vehicles around spotless.

Dropping the lid to a pill bottle when youíre taking medicine and hearing it rolling on the floor under the sofa.

Flipping through channels at the same time youíre on the phone then not being able to find that one show/movie that looked promising after you hung up.

The person that passes six cars in the fast lane at top speed just to pull over in front of you on the interstate and immediately start braking to slow you down.

Fastfood workers who ask 100 questions off a script but wonít listen to your answer.

Seconds before lights out, realizing you didnít take the trash container out to the curb the evening before itís picked up.

Ten people waiting at a single register in a store while the person in front insists on getting 25 cents off with a coupon older than they are.

Anyone calling your phone just as one of your favorite songs comes on the radio.

People who write columns in newspapers listing their pet peeves in life.