I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. HE WILL GRADUATE. HE WILL LIVE INDEPENDENTLY. HE WILL FIND TRUE LOVE. HE WILL SURVIVE. HE WILL SHOWER REGULARLY. OR I WILL DIE TRYING. ~MOM

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Tuesday, July 1, 2008

awesome info!

i stole this from another blogger LOL

Ten Ways to Support To A RAD Mom.

Reactive Attachment Disorder, RAD is one of those things other people don't really notice. The reactive part is usually seen and felt the most by the primary caregiver--or the mom in most cases. What a RAD Mom needs the most is support from others in ways you may have never thought of.1. A RAD Mom needs help teaching her child with Reactive Attachment Disorder that mom's are in charge of taking good care of their children. And that their mom is a good mom who takes care of her children.2. A RAD Mom needs friends who don't hug her RAD Child. The best way to help a family dealing with a child who has reactive attachment disorder is to help the child learn to get his or her hugs for mom and dad. The same is true for other intimate things the child might want to do, like sit on laps or give you a neck rub.3. A RAD Mom needs friends who can support how we respond to our child. No matter what the situation looks like the parents need to be considered the ones in charge especially when it comes to discipline.4. A RAD Mom needs people who have suggestions, ideas or criticism to talk to us privately when our child is not around. Triangulation is a natural behavior for children with Reactive Attachment Disorder and questioning the parents in front of the child empowers the child.5. A RAD Mom needs friends who don't fall into the trap of hearing the child say, "I wish you were my mom, you are much better then the one I got." Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder often shop for new, improved and better parents.6. A RAD Mom needs an occasional hour to take a shower or paint her toe nails. A great way to be supportive to someone who is parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder is to offer her a break once in awhile. Even if it's just to come over and supervise the child while mom gets a break.7. A RAD Mom needs time alone with a RAD Dad. Often one of the most important things parents of children with emotional or mental health disorders are told they need is respite. Families who adopt children from the foster care system often receive adoption subsidy funds for respite care. RAD parents need a regular break, but they also need a respite provider who can deal with the issues of a special needs child.8. A RAD Mom needs friends who can remind her about why and how it came about that she is the mother of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder. We need to be reminded that our child came to us this way and that the best we can do is love the child and provide them with the best we can.9. A RAD Mom needs to be reminded that many children with Reactive Attachment Disorder heal and become healthy adults. We need to remember what the goals are with our children and like other parents we need to hope for the best.10. Most of all a RAD Mom needs friends. Parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder can be isolating and defeating. RAD mom's often withdraw and feel alone. The number one thing we need is a friend willing to listen and maybe have coffee now and then.

2 comments:

We just asked the teachers at church today to avoid hugging the kids. It was so painful for them, but once I gave them more extensive info on RAD, it helped them to understand that this would actually help them heal.

we AREN'T alone!

This blog was born in 2006, 3 years after we adopted a little boy from Haiti. Cute as a button? OF COURSE! *difficult* as the day is long? pretttty much. We sure love him to bits, but he makes life.. um.. interesting, to put it gently. It started as a family blog but has become so much more, atleast to me. Reactive Attachment Disorder is only one piece to Jackson's diagnosis puzzle, and along the way we've met so many other bloggers dealing with the same daily struggles -and sometimes triumphs-and i enjoy sharing in their ups and downs. jump in! I love making new bloggy friends.
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! twitter.com/SkyMahshull

"The process of adopting a child pushes your personal envelope as a woman, as a mother, and ultimately, as a human being. It takes more courage than you think you have, offers more self-knowledge than you think you want, and reassembles your characteristics into someone familiar but changed."

-Jana Wolff, Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother

Things You Should Know About HIV

HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives. People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. If you would like more information on transmission, there is additional information on the Center for Disease Control website

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Nothing Gold Can Stay

nature's first green is goldher hardest hue to holdher early leaf's a flowerbut only so an hourthen leaf subsides to leafso Eden sank to griefso dawn goes down to daynothing gold can stay -Robert Frost