Well we all survived the oscar show last week. Thankfully, we were spared the bad words. To bad we couldn’t use the same techniques to shut up the effusive thank yous. Now we can forget all the forgettable movies and move on with our lives. Still, there is a lot of bad news this week. The world is full of strife and conflict. It is all this Coot can do to find good news.

Starting right here at home, in the nation’s capitol, there is a war breaking out as invaders from the West Coast set up an outpost in Georgetown,

But the US isn’t the only country facing conflict. Even Italy, a country well known for its ability to make the trains run on time is finding that those well managed trains are damaging it’s national heritage. Who knew that David had weak ankles?

When you have a problem, it is hard to know just where to start but give Italy credit for trying. They think that there are too many people in Italy that don’t speak Italian. I know it is a strange idea but this is Italy. So now if you want to immigrate to Italy, Italy wants to know that you speak acceptbale Italian first. This may not fix David’s ankles but as they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Italy makes immigrants speak Italian for work visa

There is more disaster news this week, however. Scientists tell us that we have started a mass extinction that may be greater than any of the five that happened earlier. You remember the earlier extinctions, don’t you? One of them was the dinosaurs but the others must have happened while I was napping. I just don’t remember them. Anyway, this one is all man’s fault. Just like global warming. And it’s going to be a doozy.

World’s sixth mass extinction may be underway: study says

Not to worry, however, other sicentists have some good news for us. It seems they have found evidence that life existst elsewhere in the universe. Since there is a backup plan, no need to get your panties in a bunch about a few extinctions. Anyway, there are plenty of creatures I can do without. A little culling now and then is good for everybody.

And finally to find some good news, we have to go to sports this week. You will all be happy to learn that at long last they are going to stop those Polo Matches in the Hamptons. Mercedes Benz has decided that it will stop sponsoring this sport of effete snobs in its new effort to court the common man who buys more cars.