Striving for a flattering eulogy

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Manic Monday

I’m not going to finish a piece began tonight on shifting political tectonics in the West. In the meantime, here’s some back-burner. Anyone want to try their hand at blogging one? Here’s a tip: find that warm fold between hatred and laughter.

Let’s begin with ground consecrated by the blood of Martel’s men.

Kurds and Turks go to war…in Switzerland. China strokes its collective fu-manchu in wonderment at round-eye.

There is no fundamental right to a better life (in Europe), only a right to security and human dignity.

That’s being overly generous, Vic. Try calling in your ‘right to security and dignity’ chit with Saudi Arabia or Israel. Though no matter, Der Spiegel knows how to deal with responsible statesmanship using this one weird trick.

In remarks to the German magazine Der Spiegel published Saturday, Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann compared Orban’s crackdown on migrants with Nazi racial policies.

Nazi: it’s the Shamwow of leftist rhetoric. As an aside if you’re looking to invest in European real estate, I would go very long Budapest.

Leaving Europe, here’s a piece that tries to answer the only relevant question about Donald Trump. Is he good for the jews? The magic hate-ball says: Outlook not so good.

Scientists already calculating the 35% of jobs that will be scuttled in the forthcoming robogeddon. That’s why we must import as much unskilled labor as possible. So someone can eat the lettuce our terminators pick.

Syrian quote-unquote refugees now being beamed into a place they can finally find peace and tranquility: Baltimore. All they ask is for the opportunity to pay American taxes.

“They want nothing more than to get employed, play their taxes and be able to do the normal stuff you and I take for granted,” said Chandrasekar.

“When you get a safe place like Baltimore or the U.S. and you have the opportunity to rebuild your whole life,” said Chandrasekar, “how motivated do you think you would be? That’s what we see everyday when we welcome a refugee into the Baltimore area.”

Well if an all-American guy like Mr. Chandrasekar says so. I’m sure our native Good Boys will welcome them warmly. Here Hamzi, let me show you how to properly complete a 1040. And that’s not the best news. A quarter million more middle-eastern taxpayers are coming in the next twelve months. That’s more than the entire city of Dayr az-Zawr every year. With all that extra taxpaying, I imagine the national debt is melting like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader on Michael Moore’s laps.

“[Syrians] want nothing more than to get employed, play their taxes and…” I’m not so sure that was a typo.
As a sinner, I was apprehensive when reading the Official Microaggressions Guide; but was relieved after not seeing the N-word mentioned once. It is full of damned-if-you-do’s and don’ts and Catch-22s, but I am assured by my lawyer that if I call them the second-worst word that starts with ‘n’ and ends with ‘r’, I will never be guilty of microaggressing them. It’s really quite liberating, and I’m grateful some uncisthing finally compiled that list. Could’ve used a bit more color though. Black-and-White is so binary. I mean, the Black parts were great and vibrant, but White as we all know is bleh.