La Trenda lives with 4 dogs, all rescues who came to her with special needs. She spent 8 years volunteering and working for various shelters and rescues. She now spends most of her time going to dog training classes and studying training and behavior books to learn about better ways to connect with her dogs.

Note: This is an mySA.com City Brights Blog. These blogs are not written or edited by mySA or the San Antonio Express-News. The authors are solely responsible for the content.

Are you selfish?

A few months ago, I was in a hallway at school waiting for my classroom to open. One of my classmates was in the hall with his service dog. The dog was clearly stressed in the crowded hallway.

A couple of students walked up and asked politely if they could pet the dog. The guardian said it was okay. As the students leaned over the dog, the dog tried to get up and leave, but the owner commanded his dog to lay down. The dog tried to lay down a couple of times but was just too uncomfortable with the petting to be still. After the owner finally got the dog to be still, the dog sat hunched over looking sad while the two strangers petted the dog.

It was very clear from where I was standing that the dog did not like the petting.
It was also clear to me that the students were enjoying petting the dog. Going to school can be stressful. It was probably a nice break for them to stop and pet a dog between classes.

But the dog had to be stressed for the students to enjoy themselves.

Think about it: Have you ever petted a dog or done something else stressful to a dog for your own enjoyment or amusement?

I have and I regret it. Last December, I had Puddin pose with “Santa Claus” for a holiday picture. She clearly did not want to sit on the stranger’s lap, but I gently coaxed her to go anyway. I stressed out my dog just so I could get a cute picture. It was not worth it.
Especially when I have plenty of happy videos and pictures of her.

There are going to be times when we have little control over the stress in our dog’s lives – such as going to vet. When we can control, reduce, or remove stress we should.

And, not only should we be aware of stress in our own dogs. We should not place stress on other’s dogs. Some pet parents don’t realize their dog is stressed. Some pet parents are more concerned about not hurting the human’s feelings by saying “no” or “get away” or “stop.”

So if you ask a human, “may I pet your dog” and the human says yes while the dog is displaying classic calming signals, then don’t pet the dog. Not only would the dog be happier, but also you will be safer. Remember the Mastiff who bit the TV news anchor?

Also be sure to always ask long before you approach and always give the human time to answer before continuing to approach. Try not to surprise a dog or owner.

This blog post has excellent info to help a dog lover know if a dog wants to be petted – even our own dog: Does your dog want to be petted?
A tip in the above article can help folks know if a dog is enjoying petting (from strangers or from the pet parent):
If you stop petting, does the dog try to get you to continue? Does the dog paw at your hand or nuzzle your hand when you stop? If the dog does not, it might be best to stop petting.