FERTILITY

Those are not the prices for a new car, or a down payment on a house, or even a super fancy vacation.

Those are the costs of infertility.

That is what some people have to pay just to try to have a baby.

Right now, there are only 15 states in the U.S. that require by law, for insurance companies to cover the cost of fertility treatments. That means that for those that aren’t lucky enough to live in one of those states, all that cash will most likely be coming out of pocket. I don’t know about you, but I sure as heck don’t have $20k in my piggy bank. Couples and individuals who are faced with the diagnosis of infertility are doing whatever is humanly possible to pay for their treatments, their medications, the procedures, doctors fees, and every little thing in between.

How?! Well, credit card companies love the infertile, that’s for sure. Mortgage companies too, because sure, let’s just take a second mortgage out on our house to pay for this. Have anything that’s super meaningful to you, but worth a lot of money? Might as well sell it, because you have to pay for your medications.

These are the lengths that some couples go through to have a family. The worst and absolute punch to the throat about all of this…you aren’t even guaranteed a child in the end of it all. Then what? You’re out of money, exhausted, and are literally back at square one. You just have like $30,000 in debt to pay off somehow.

My husband and I personally know the financial struggle of fertility treatments, as we were diagnosed with infertility in the Spring of 2017. We are one of the lucky ones to have coverage for most of our treatments, medications and procedures. However, we still get bills for what isn’t covered, and let me tell you, regardless of the amount, it still puts stress on us.

When I started Nine 16 Designs, all I wanted to do was have something to distract me from the stress of IVF, but I soon fell in love with what I was doing, and as we grew, I realized I wanted to do something that could not only make an impact, but also help out as many people as possible. I had gotten to know so many couples or individuals going through fertility treatments, mostly through social media. I had heard so many of their stories, and unfortunately even more of their struggles.

Project 1:8 was started with the goal of spreading awareness about the struggle of infertility. Every few weeks, we pick a couple or individual and share their story across social media. After two weeks, we donate a portion of our profits to the couple to help them offset the medical costs that come with this heartbreaking diagnosis. We also accept direct donations, which go right to the current couple.

Why 1:8? One in Eight people are diagnosed with infertility. Which means, most likely you know quite a few people who have been handed this card. I have spent a lot of time reaching out to so many different people, asking them to help us spread the word, share their story with us, and if possible, post pics of our stuff on their profiles. We have done several collaborations with well known Instagram accounts (the larger the following, the more people the word gets out to!) We host giveaways, guest write on blogs, and just do anything that will get the word out about our business, and what it is we are working so hard to do. We’ve reached out to the local news, newspapers, businesses, radio stations and more. None of them have responded, but I have faith that we will get through to them eventually. (I’m EXTREMELY persistent)!

We have only been doing these campaigns for a few months, but we’ve been able to raise around $3,000 for our applicants! We are always taking submissions, and we won’t ever turn you away! It is our hope to work with everybody who has applied. Although we may not be a super popular business, or have the ability to donate thousands to people who so desperately need it, we know that every little bit counts when you are trying to pay for your treatment and medications.

As we grow, it is our hope that we will reach so many more people; we don’t want anybody to ever feel alone in this process.

On top of starting this incredible project that helps so many women afford to create the life that they are longing for, Nine 16 Designs has also agreed to giveaway a $15 credit to their shop! Here is how you enter:

When I first started this blog in December 2017, I gave updates almost daily and that faded because well, not much changes. Also as time goes on, you don’t track all of the same things or pay attention to the same symptoms. You just kind of get use to what your life is like now. For the past few cycles, I’ve been trying to give you two updates a cycle - one around ovulation and the other in the middle or end of my two week wait. Well, it’s time for my first update of the eleventh cycle of trying to conceive! *Geez, I absolutely hate writing what cycle I am on*

So, if you haven’t checked in lately, I shared a blog post recapping my first acupuncture appointment and if you did read that then you already know that my acupuncturist believes that I have Endometriosis. I know what you are thinking, why would I go by an acupuncturists opinion, but that answer is simple. Majority of her patients are coming to her to get pregnant. A lot of them have suffered from infertility and are moving forward with IVF or IUIs and look to acupuncture for help. Along with those women who suffer from infertility, a lot of them also have Endometriosis which she knows a lot of information on and gave me so much information to take home on how to “treat” it, if you want to call it that. So that has been something new that I’ve done this cycle. There have been a few other new things but I am planning on sharing those with you later on this week!

The biggest change this week was my inflammation diet. I started this on May 3rd and 100% cut diary, soy, artificial sugar, and bread/gluten other than Whole Grain or Sprouted Grain bread. The next thing I needed to tackle was red meat but I recently stopped eating red meat on May 10th. All of these foods, cause inflammation which can be preventing me from getting pregnant. I shared in my blog post about my Endometriosis diagnosis, but I felt a lot of anger at first because no one caught this sooner. I don’t have a great relationship with my mother but I still feel angry that as a child, no one went to bat for me and told my doctor that putting me on brith control or calling this “normal” isn’t the right thing to do. But I’ve learned from my experiences and when or if I have a daughter, she is lucky because I will be fully educated on all of the things a woman should know about her body so that I can better protect her from things like Endo or PCOS because the long-term effects are heartbreaking. But that’s enough with basically the same topic I wrote twice about last week.

Other than the acupuncture for a stronger ovulation and anxiety, not much has changed. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or a good thing. We’ve been doing a lot of talking about telling our families that we are trying to conceive but we don’t really know how to get the words out. If anyone has any advice for that, feel free to comment below or email me. I’d love to hear what you have to say. I’m very close with my brother but he is in the military so I don’t get to see him often. His base is less than 5 hours away, it’s just hard to coordinate time. I really want to start with him because I feel like thats a safe place. My husband doesn’t want him family to think we aren’t trying or that we don’t want kids because within the last few months his mom has made a few comments, all kind-heartedly. We’ve been together for six years and married for three years, so I think that naturally people are going to start wondering if it’s going to happen. Along with telling our families, I really want to scream about it from the roof top but I know I can’t. Ever since I joined this community, I just want to do more but find myself not doing as much as I could. I’d love to put my name all over this blog and show the world how hard I am trying to be a mom but I don’t think it’s appropriate quite yet, although it would feel really freeing.

I’m really just trying to relax. Actually, as I am writing this I just got a dark second line on my Easy @ Home OPK! I’m on cycle day 16 which is usually when I get a peak so I will probably ovulate tomorrow. I think we’ve given it a good chance this month but I also feel like we give it a good chance every month.

So although it’s not much of an update, things are going great and I’m trying to stay positive all while thinking about our next step as we get into the year mark of trying to conceive. It brings up a lot of emotions for me so I am trying to shelf the issue until June, when I have my year-follow up appointment with my OBGYN. Again, if you have advice on that too, give it to me!

I have some great things coming on the blog - I am 100% focused this week and getting to work on things asap. If you want to receive blog posts to your inbox, subscribe to my newsletter! You can always unsubscribe later if you wish.

It's funny to me that I have this weird feeling today because I usually don't care about these types of holidays. Valentine's Day is nothing special to me and that is a day about celebrating your love for another person - so why would Mother's Day be any different? Maybe I feel that way because I am not a Mother and I understand that. Now that we have been trying to conceive for eleven months, I have a deeper understanding of a lot of things. This day being one of them because I have read blog posts, articles, instagram captions, and emails from so many women who dread two days; April Fools Day and Mother's Day. These days are dreaded for the same reason and I 100% understand why. I think that my deeper understanding of that sadness is because of all of the "what ifs" like "what if I had gotten pregnant on the first or second try, I would be a mother of a beautiful 2 or 3 month old baby" but I didn't and I'm not. The what ifs are something that I always struggle with, not only in the trying to conceive community but with life in general. "What if I had gotten better grades in school and got a scholarship to go to college and provide a better life for myself," "What if I was born into a different family, would I have lead a better life?" "What if I had seen a doctor and demanded answers sooner about my painful periods," etc, you get the point. I'm the Queen of that "what if" thoughts.

While I did my Sunday morning routine of food shopping, four people told me Happy Mother's Day. Which I felt was odd because that has never happened to me before. Although I am 25 years old - I look 18 and as I get older the more I like that about myself. I texted my husband at the grocery store and said,

Four people have told me “Happy Mother’s Day”, either someone is messing with me or I officially look my age.

In a weird way, maybe it's the universe making me tougher. Although I feel like my limits are tested a lot.

With all of that being said, I just wanted to wish every woman out there a Happy Mother's Day. It doesn't matter if you are a mother of one, two, three, or twenty. A pregnant mother expecting your first or so child, a mother of a baby or child in heaven, a mother of a rainbow baby growing in your belly, or a mother of a child who has yet to be conceived, not by a lack of trying just from the universe making you "tougher" (see what I did there?) - you are all so strong, beautiful, and deserving of recognition and respect not just today, but everyday. Think of this as just another day because as a woman, a mother, or a future mother that is literally doing all they can to get to the mom status, you are all of these things every day.

Hello, dreamers! Thank you for reading yet another blog post by yours truly. Today I wanted to discuss Endometriosis since, I was recently told that I “more than likely” had it based on my symptoms. This didn’t come as a complete shock to me but I never thought that I would have something that can cause infertility, but here I am. If you read my last blog post about my first acupuncture experience, then you already know that the acupuncturist specializes in fertility wellness and treats a lot of Endometriosis in her patients, so I very much trust her opinion. Something that I learned was that the only way to truly diagnose Endometriosis is by surgery which isn’t ideal in most cases. Sometimes doctors can tell from ultrasounds but even that is rare so when I write diagnosis like “diagnosis” it’s because I’m only diagnosed based on symptoms and medical history. I do have an appointment with my doctor in June where I may request an ultrasound, if possible.

I started my period when I was 13 years old, which was actually later than some other girls in my grade. I don’t remember much about my first period other than my mother slapping me, don’t call 911 yet, it was a “Jewish” tradition that was carried on for each woman in my family. The slap wasn’t hard so I was okay. That’s not even the worst thing that my mom did during my childhood, which we can get to at another time. I don’t really remember cramping or anything like that, I honestly don’t even know if women experience cramping during their first period and for all I know, it hurt like hell. It’s been 12 years, so my memory is a little blurry.

My earliest memory of a painful period was when I was 14 or 15 years old, a freshman in high school. I remember the pain being so bad that I asked to be excused from class numerous times so I could cry in the bathroom. I didn’t have medicine or heat. After awhile, I would tell the teacher in a whisper that I wasn’t feeling well and then I would go to the front office where the school nurse worked and I would lay on the carpet or the couch in the fetal position and cry until one of my parents could pick me up from school. This was a very common occurrence.

From then on, my periods were painful basically every month. I missed a lot of school days because the pain was so bad.

Something else that isn’t talked about with painful periods, is the very heavy bleeding. I wore pads until I was 16 years old because tampons would intimidate me. I was the girl that bled through her underwear and pants often and it was always so embarrassing. When I was in middle school, I was too afraid to ask the teacher if I could use the restroom every hour so I would wait until break which was usually 2 or 3 hours apart and by then, it was usually too late. I’ve always had a heavy blood flow during my periods, that hasn’t changed. I still remember what it was like to sleep with a pad on and it was miserable, which I am sure a lot of you know. If I didn’t wake up to change the pad in the middle of the night, I would wake up in a mess. Which was never fun.

My symptoms include:

Heavy blood flow during periods

Painful periods (usually the first 24 hours, rare occasion for the pain to last the first 48 hours)

Cramping during ovulation (usually pretty noticeable and occasionally I have to use heat to treat the cramping pain)

Occassion pain during sex

Often extremely nauseous during the first 24 hours of my period

Hot sweats all during the day, only during the first 24 hours of my period

Headaches and mood swings 5 or less days prior to my period starting

So, as you can see from the list above, I have a lot of period symptoms. You would think they would be hard to keep track of. I’d say I experience these symptoms 3 out of 4 periods and I feel very lucky on the cycles where everything is painless and “normal”.

As I mentioned above this diagnosis isn’t surprising to me. The more I’ve gotten into this community the more I have learned about PCOS and Endometriosis along with other underlining issues with infertility. Something that does bother me is the fact that I’ve gone to my doctor (which has changed 3x since I was 13) about my painful periods. I even went to the emergency room one time because the pain was so bad and I don’t remember ever hearing the word “Endometriosis” and it’s confusing to me. If my symptoms were always this bad, why not even educate me or my family on what I can do to help my cramping and other symptoms? Instead at 16 I was put on birth control to “regulate my periods and help with period cramps” but in reality the birth control actually made my cramps a lot worse. I stopped taking the birth control at 18 years old and now that I am married and trying to conceive, I am very thankful that I didn’t take birth control longer because I see how it can affect fertility.

Moving forward, I am working on the anti-inflammatory diet which has been an experience. I am working on sharing an update on how I am doing with that and I am going to share the healthy alternatives that I am adding into my diet, in case any of you are on this diet or interested in giving it a try. I am currently about to ovulate for cycle 11 so I won’t know if this diet has “worked” until later but we will see.

Comment below or send me an email if you or someone you know has been diagnosed with Endometriosis and let me know how you cope/what you’ve changed about your lifestyle/etc.

Happy Monday! I am so sorry that I have been quiet for the last part of the previous week but I had a lot going on. I’ll get into it over the next few blog posts…

Last Wednesday, May 2nd, I had my first fertility wellness acupuncture appointment! I shared a post on Instagram sharing that I was really nervous for the appointment and so many of you lovely ladies shared reasons why you liked acupuncture and reassured me that it was nothing to worry about - you were so right!

On my way to the appointment, I got a little flustered and could not find the office location. Yes, I used my GPS but in my defense, it was in a large office building complex and the directions on the GPS weren’t clear. I also get lost pretty often if I am being honest. When I arrived, I checked in and took a seat in the lobby. They had a lavender (maybe?) scent in the waiting room, I am assuming to be relaxing. I didn’t have to wait too long before the acupuncturist, let’s call her Ms. Smith, came and brought me into the office/relaxation space. I’m honestly either not sure of what that’s called or totally blanking.

The appointment was set to be 90 minutes. Half of that time was for the first appointment consultation which I was extra nervous for. I don’t know why but I always get so nervous for doctor’s appointment (and any other medical appointments) even though I have worked for a doctor, in a pharmacy, and at a hospital. Isn’t that crazy? We sat in one part of the room that had two chairs and discussed my medical history. We discussed when I started my period, how I experience severe cramps and sometimes hot sweats and nausea during the first 24-48 hours of my period. I explained that sometimes the pain is so severe that I go back and forth to the bathroom thinking that I am about to get sick (not fun) or that the last few cycles, I’ve had to leave work early which I don’t like doing. When I apply a heating pad, that usually does the trick but every once in awhile the heat just doesn’t work for me and my only option is to go home and sit in a SUPER (and I mean SUPER SUPER) hot bath which soothes my cramping for a little while. Also, my bleeding is so heavy that I have to change my tampon every hour or so because it feels full. She asked me if I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the bleeding and I told her that wasn’t it, it was just that it filled up quicker on some months. I do have some months where the cramps are more mild (probably still considered severe for others but for me, it’s manageable) but the heating pad usually does the trick. It’s funny actually, I will bring my heating pad to work, wear stretchy pants and wear my heating pad while I am working at my computer. It really helps. Medicine like Midol and Tylenol do not work for me, sadly.

At this particular practice, 60% of their patience come there for fertility wellness acupuncture. Majority of those women have Endometriosis which Ms. Smith shared with me that based on our conversation and my medical history she believes that there is a large chance that I have Endometriosis. We talked a lot about her experience with endo and she explained that the only way it can be properly diagnoses is through surgery, which is obviously not ideal. Sometimes it can be diagnosed through ultrasounds but that all depends on your symptoms and such.

Also, we talked about my ovulation, I told her that I normally got the peak test on cycle day 15 or 16 and that my ovulation symptoms are always cramping (sometimes they are just noticeable and sometimes they take my breath away for a second) and every once in awhile I will have some back pains that get really painful as well. Heat helps all of the symptoms though. She said if I got my peak on cycle day 16, then I wasn’t actually ovulating until cycle day 17 or 18 because of how that works. Which I was aware of but never really thought about it that way so that makes sense. This conversation definitely bummed me out because I just always assumed I was ovulating on that day, meaning I was always less days past ovulation than I originally thought.

The conclusion of the consultation is that I should try an inflammation diet for the potential endometriosis. I feel pretty strongly about the diagnosis because I have thought this for some time based on my research and the fact that I’ve had painful cramps since age 13. Ms. Smith also is pretty confident in the end diagnosis which I trust based on the fact that she treats women with endometriosis daily and specializes in fertility wellness. I do have an appointment in June with my OBGYN, where we will discuss that more. I’ll share a separate blog post on my inflammation diet and symptoms because as I am writing this, I am 5 days in so I have a lot to share.

After the consultation, she had me lay on the table/bed (which was very very comfortable) and she put the acupuncture needle in the follow spots; one on each of my shins, one above each of my knees, one above each of my elbows, and two under my belly button. Wow typing that out made me realize how many needles were actually in me! I’m here to say that it did not hurt one bit. I felt the “tap” on the needle which Ms. Smith had to tap the top of the needle (that’s in a plastic cover) to get it under the skin.

She let me relax for about 15-20 minutes and then came in and moved all of the needles on my legs and arms down (to my wrist and ankle) and added one at the top of my forehead which really did the trick for my relaxation. After she moved the needles to that spot, I went into a deep relaxation and almost asleep? I was so relaxed that I couldn’t tell if I was asleep or not.

After the appointment was over, I felt like I had woken up from a nap and tried driving home. That was NOT fun but I was fine. The rest of the night, I was so relaxed and slept like a baby!

I return for my next appointment later this week. The goal we are reaching for is to obviously help my anxiety and my chances of getting pregnant but we are going to focus on trying to move ovulation up a little bit. She is a bit worried about my leuthal phase being so short, which could be the reason that I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.

Stay tuned for my blog post about my endometriosis diagnosis and my diet to try and keep those symptoms down!

Comment below and tell me your experience with acupuncture! What did you like about it? Or tell me why you are scared to try it!

This blog has made me a very positive person when it comes to trying to conceive. Sure, I usually cry at the end of every cycle but I think that is normal, I'm able to pick myself back up and try again.

The end of my tenth cycle really bothered me because I'm getting so close to that year/12th cycle mark and it's sinking in that I have no idea how long life will be this way. It's crazy to think about because I have days where I am so terrified to actually be pregnant, give birth, have my whole life change but then a second later, I'm crying because I want all of those things so bad. Why is this process so cruel?

Let me back up a little and tell you about the end of my tenth cycle of trying to conceive. My husband has not been working Fridays so he usually sleeps in with our pups while I go to work, I get off a little early but I hate when he is off work and I'm not! I asked him a pretty simple question and I didn't like the tone in which he answered my simple questions so I started an argument over it, silly, silly, me! My husband brought up (carefully) that he thought my period was about to start because I get this irritable a few days prior each month. Once he said that, it hit me that this cycle was over. It made total sense and he was right, my period would be starting.

I still had a pregnancy test left over from the month prior and I decided that I would take it on Saturday morning, at ten days past ovulation. I've seen plenty of women get clear positives at 10 DPO so I thought why not. Well, you can see in the photo above that I did not get a positive pregnancy test. I was prepared for a negative but that didn't stop me from sobbing. I went and layed down with my husband, started small talk and then (without looking at him) told him that the test was negative. We sat in silence and I started to cry, he just held on tight to let me know that he was right there with me. I cried all morning on and off, this one was hitting me so hard and I couldn't put it into words.

I had some anger along with my sadness. This month my dad asked when he would be getting grandchildren and I used that as a transition to ask him how long it took my mom and him to get pregnant. I don't have a relationship with my mother so I couldn't talk to her about it. He said that they got pregnant the first try, three times. One of those ended in miscarriage but they got pregnant again the month after the loss. This made me so angry because my mother is not someone who should have had kids, she wasn't a compassionate and loving person, so it bothered me that the universe or "the big man upstairs" would make it so easy for her. It made me angry because given the chance to be a mother, I do a lot better than she did.

I told my husband that I wanted to do something, I couldn't be indoors which is odd for me because I love to clean the house on Saturdays and watch Netflix. Without asking questions or saying anything - he agreed to do whatever I wanted to do. We went to a nearby park that had a large walking trail and took a stroll together where we talked about so many random things. It was so nice to just walk and talk and look at nature. We don't do that often.

We talked about our disappointment and my sweet husband shed a few tears, which is so unusual for him. He said that it really hurt him that we kept talking about "When we get pregnant", "when we have a baby,"etc so we decided to try really hard to not talk about it so often. I agreed that it made it harder because you imagine this life that you have yet to create.

I've suffered from anxiety since I was a teenager but with the year mark creeping up, my anxiety is really strong. I'm anxious to be labeled infertile which makes me feel bad because so many women that I mean struggle with infertility. I always wonder if that year mark made them feel this way too. It just seems like a turning point in your journey. I know that I need to go ahead and make doctor's appointments, make a plan for the next month, but I don't want to stress.

My sweet husband went above and beyond this weekend to make me feel better, even though I bet he wasn't feeling that great either. When he is that sweet and caring and "nursing" me back to my usual happy self - I get so sad because I know he would make such a great dad and I just want to give that to him.

I'm going to let all of the negativity go and move forward with cycle eleven. I keep thinking that there are women who have and are going through so much more than I am and although that doesn't diminish my journey it does make me think about what's ahead of me. I hope to look back at these tough months and just laugh at how I should have relaxed and not stressed out so much. It's all about timing, we just have the timing a little off!

Hi everyone, welcome back to Dreaming of Diapers & Dimples! For this blog post I wanted to discuss something that has been happening to me more and more as of late. PREGNANCY DREAMS! That's right, dreams where I am pregnant and wake up without actually being pregnant. Doesn't my subconscious know how insensitive this is?

My last dream was a few nights ago and it was a weird one. I don't think that I have shared this with you all yet but I am a true believer in the after life, spirits, ghosts, etc. So much that I swear I've had some experiences that I cannot explain. One of those experiences being a reoccurring experience where I wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes multiple times, and I just know that my sweet grandma is in the room with me. I have no evidence nor have I ever "seen" her but I wake up suddenly and just know that she is there and somehow, that's comforting. I'm pretty use to it by now but the other night I woke up from having this odd dream where I was pregnant, I was gross and sweaty and kind of shook myself awake. When I woke up I had that same feeling where my grandma was in the room except, I had the feeling that multiple people were in the room and that they were standing over me staring at me. Yup. You read that right and I was totally freaked out. Again, I never see anything but it's an odd feeling. Anyway, I fell back asleep (somehow) and had a dream again except in my dream, there are faceless people standing all around me as I am sleeping and one of them says to me, "you know, pregnant women are more likely to see ghosts" and then I woke up to my alarm. How scary/silly is that? I obviously know that is not a fact but it was just a little odd.

DREAMERS! Isn't that so scary? It had me freaked out all day and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I've had other dreams where I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, or I went to a restaurant or something and there was a blinking light in my face that said "PREGNANT" in huge letters. And each month that I've had these dreams - I've never been pregnant.

I don't always remember what happens in the dream but this cycle I have had so many that I decided to use Google to find out what they mean.

Here is what I found:

In summary, I shouldn't look too much into it. Apparently it means everything but actually being pregnant. My body is NOT trying to tell me something. Again, how cruel is that?! I don't have any new ideas, nothing new is going on in my personal life, work is going great. I have no idea what the dream could actually mean unless the new aspect in my life is a baby but one can only hope!

I would love to hear about your pregnancy related dreams! Comment below. Or if you have any really awesome ghost stories, I want to hear them all!

Starting a family is nothing like the movies portray it to be. The first three or so months are the closest thing to the movies as it gets but it quickly turns into a "babe, I'm ovulating for the next two days so rest up" type of experience. All of my ladies out there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. As women, we dream of starting a family and what it would be like to be pregnant and have little Timmy running around in the yard with the dog but it takes a long time to get to that in reality. And some women don't get to experience that at all.

With this blog post I am sharing 20 of the most creative date nights that I could possibly think of, to keep the romance alive while trying to conceive because like I said above, after awhile - it's not really that romantic. Something that I would like to add here is that a date can take place during the day too! Actually, you have a lot more that you would be able to do in a day than you would if you only went out for date "nights". I'm a HUGE fan of day dates. :)

Also, bare with me, this will probably be my longest blog post to date:

20 DATE IDEAS (good for the day or night):

1. Dinner & A Movie (with a twist): One of you picks the restaurant and the other chooses the movie.

2. Game Night: I don't mean board games either, games that help you have conversation, laugh and enjoy each other's company like rapid fire questions (my husband and I love these), Plead The Fifth (any Bravo fans out there?), 20 Questions, Something You May Not Know About Me, etc, etc. My sweet husband and I love to play these games while waiting for our food at a restaurant. But if you are a lover of board games, why not?!

3. Go For a Hike (but go somewhere where neither of you has been before)

4. Take a Day Trip: I'm a huge fan of day trips, where we live in North Carolina we are 3 hours from the beach and 3 hours from the mountains so it's a decent trip to make. You could even take a day trip and go for a hike in the same date! Being in the car together gives you the chance to reconnect, maybe play a few of the games from #2

5. Do a Project Together: Rather it's a DIY, improvement on your home, redecorating a room, this activity can be very productive and a great way to spend some time together.

6. Bowling: Yes, you read that right and no you don't need a group of friends or young children to enjoy a bowling date! Especially if there is a bar at the bowling alley. Enjoy a cold beer, glass of wine and some greasy pizza (forget about your fertility diet for one day) and enjoy bowling with your partner. Make it interesting, loser has to give the winner a nice massage later! (This may even help that baby be conceived, wink, wink)

7. First Date, Date: This one is a lot of fun and my husband and I did this about a year after living together because we felt that we missed when we would go a week without seeing each other and get excited for a date. So I got ready for a date in a separate room, he went out and filled the car with gas (or you partner could go get flowers, etc) and then when he came back he knocked on the door like he was picking me up. It seems so silly and we laughed a lot but it was a lot of fun and we really enjoyed doing that. We asked each other questions like we were getting to know one another and everything.

8. Book Club Date (for readers only): Choose a book and both of you read it over x amount of time and plan a date to either go to brunch, lunch, or dinner to discuss the book. If you love to read (and your partner too) then this could be a great bonding experience and conversation that you don't have to "try too hard" to have.

9. Netflix & Cuddle: I am a huge binger and love to dive into a brand new show. This is something that my husband and I recently started doing today, we will pick a new show on Netflix and just binge watch it together. We try to pick a show that we both have never seen before so we can experience it together. If you are short on money, this is a great option. We love to order a pizza and eat the pizza while watching Netflix.

10. Spa Getaway (at home) Date: For awhile, this was our favorite date night and it was usually really romantic and sexy. I would make dinner for the two of us (usually something light that way we didn't get too bloated to baby dance) and then I would make sure the bedroom was clean, light a few candles and play spa music. You can either get in a bath together or give each other massages. The music and candles create a really relaxing and romantic environment.

11. (if you have the money) Plan a Weekend Getaway: This one takes some time and money but if you are in a really desperate need to reconnect with your partner, a weekend away will do the trick. Even if it's a small cabin the woods where you don't do anything but watch TV, or a weekend on the beach, a weekend in a hotel in a neighboring city, this can really help you reconnect and feel giddy about each other again.

12. Visit A Landmark in Your Area: I really like this one, find a landmark in your area or close by (or you can incorporate a day trip) and do some research on the landmark, learn about the history and visit it together. Especially if you are both history buffs.

13. Movie Marathon: A lot like binging something on Netflix but instead, pick a movie that has many movies in the franchise and watch them back to back! We did this a few years ago with the Saw movies and I loved it! Let me know if you need any recommendations, we love our movies!

14. Meet At a Bar After Work: Spice it up and agree on a hot spot to meet at after work, if you aren't into drinking that's fine! You don't have to drink alcohol at a bar but the environment is perfect to meet up, get a really small bite to eat and enjoy each other's conversation. You can even do this with dinner.

15. Sports Date: Golfing together is a great date idea, I am not very good at golfing BUT I love to sit in the golf cart with a book while my husband plays. I find the golf course to be so relaxing! Tennis or Putt-Putt are other good ones! Depending on your hobbies, of course.

16. Pizza Date: Make your own pizza dough, buy a bunch of toppings, and make pizza's for each other. It's so fun, hands on, and you don't have to go out to do this.

17. Take A Class Together: Cooking, dance, or painting classes are just a few examples of fun classes you can take with your loved one!

18. Meet For Breakfast or Lunch on a Work Day: I know this may not be for everyone but if one of you is off work, go meet the other for lunch. Or plan a day that you both can go in a little late (sacrifice work hours if you can) - It will give a great start to your day or make you look forward to lunch when you get to see your partner.

19. Coupon Book: Each of you, makes the other one a coupon book of things you'll do for them, sexual or not. Like do the laundry, clean up after dinner, cook dinner for the other, back massage (is that the theme of this blog post?), choose where you will go to dinner, etc.

20. Handmade Gift Giving:This one may be fun! Plan a dinner and each of you have to bring a handmade gift for the other one. It will for sure make you both laugh and will make you think of what each other likes.

Softcup is a menstrual "cup" used for 12-hour period protection but women in the trying to conceive community use it to help them get pregnant! Actually, as I began writing this blog post -- I actually learned that they rebranded this month and are now re-branded as "Soft Disc" and the announcement that they released on their website is:

April 2018 - The Flex Company renames Softcup to ”Softdisc” to help distinguish the menstrual disc from other menstrual products in the market. 

— SoftDisc.Com

Not that you really needed to know that but moving forward, when you purchase, this information could be helpful!

Women use the Soft Disc to keep all of the little swimmers inside. It's ultimately the same thing as putting your legs up (with your hips tilted) after sex except, I think it's a bit more efficient. What I've been doing is inserting it directing after baby dancing and now, I leave it in for minimum 30 minutes, maximum 2 hours.

When I first used the product, it honestly freaked me out. I use tampons which have a string for you to pull on to remove the product. The Soft Disc does not so make sure to read the instructions. The first time I used it, I think I actually cried because I was so afraid that I couldn't get it back out or something but it's actually pretty easy to use. You squeeze the cup and insert it in your vagina and you push the "plastic" part down. It's hard to explain but the diagram in the box is very helpful.

You take out the disc by hooking it with your finger and removing it. Which is that part that really scared me just because I'm not use to it. I know plenty of women who use this disc for their period and leave it in for the full 12 hours. That I can't understand because it seems messy but every woman is different.

My overall review of the Softdisc for trying to conceive, is that I've actually enjoyed using it and can see how it can help you get pregnant. Although I haven't reached the point of a positive pregnancy test yet, I can see HOW it would work. My suggestion is to try it for yourself because it's definitley something you will have to get use to. I haven't used the competieters (like Divacup) but I would assume they would work very similar to one another.

Have you used Softcup turned Softdic before? What was your experience? Comment below!

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I was scrolling through Pinterest, as one does, and came across this quote and it just resigned with me. The reason why I felt like I wanted to share this quote this week is because every month I go through these stages. One day I am crying because I am not pregnant and I want to be pregnant so bad and the next day, I think "oh crap, what if I'm pregnant. Then I have to go through all of these changes and my life will never be the same" - I now know that these thoughts are very honest, raw and most importantly, normal.

There is a girl in my support group that got pregnant two months into trying and she shared with the group that she sometimes is afraid because she got pregnant quickly, just got married, doesn't know if she is ready, etc etc and that reminded me of the moments where I have similar thoughts except for, I'm not pregnant yet.

Wouldn't you think that having these feelings before getting pregnant is a good thing? Like maybe we can prepare for whats to come? Last month when I thought I had a faint positive, I went through all of these emotions again and then they disappeared because I was so excited to actually be pregnant. In a way, I think that has helped me with this cycle because I no longer feel afraid (at the moment).

Anyway, I thought that it was such a great mantra to share and now you know why I shared it!

Make sure to follow me on Instagram so you can view, like and repost the image for this mantra! I also discuss it a little bit on my podcast! This week I have fertility and mommy blogger, Kate Meaks on the podcast and this episode is so great. It's worth a listen!

And I will be doing "Fertility Friday" which is my newsletter! I have worked so hard on my newsletter and what I've decided is that it will be a weekly newsletter with all of my posts, content and news for the week. I also hope to have some giveaways coming soon and subscribers will get early access! Sign up below.