3.15 pm - Go to local police station to report lost mobile phone. Its probably the cheapest piece on the market right now, barely breaking into 4 figures, plus I've been using it for more than a year, so I don't really want to go through this hassle, but the local Reliance outlet ladies tell me that I can only get a new SIM card if I can give them a copy of a police complaint/FIR. I figure 'Fair enough', so I go to the police station.

Hawaldar-type fellow/some other guy asks me receipt for the phone. I tell him its a really old piece, I'm not really bothered about it, I just want to lodge a item missing complaint. They (also kinda reasonably) tell me that until they have some proof for proving that the item missing is mine, they can't register the complaint. Ask me to at least get proof that the SIM card was registered to me. I guess that shouldn't be a problem.

3.40 pm - At the Reliance mobile store. They're reasonable too and give me a printout of some screen which shows my name next to my mobile number and some other information. I ask them to put some kind of stamp and/or sign it. They tell me that's not possible and since the screenshot shows the company name, that should suffice. I'm not convinced, I know the cops are going to ask for it. I ask them again, again I'm refused. I'm beginning to get a little irritated.

4.05 pm - Back at the police station. Same fellow asks for stamp on the paper. I'm laughing at myself now. I tell him the 'gallery' people aren't giving it and are being unreasonable. He goes on for a 2-minute rant, ending with the usual 'Saab se baat karo'. I'm like, 'Fine, at least its moving ahead.' Saab is a pretty nice guy, asks me where I lost the phone. I tell him at the railway station. Saab is very pleased at this and says that's not our jurisdiction, go to the railway-wala police station. Helpfully tells me where the 'thana' is located and that the railway police at Thane have caught some big gang of mobile thieves and hopes I find my mobile amongst their loot. I'm smiling, he's smiling, everyone's smiling even though nothing is being actually done.

4.30 pm - Its not very far away, so I decide to walk down to the station and speak to some police fellow. Be aware that this is Mulund station we are talking about. Fellow there again sympathetically listens to everything I have to say and then tells me I'll have to lodge a complaint in Kurla. I'm like, WHAT? He tells me they fall under Kurla's jurisdiction, so they won't be able to give me the certificate or complaint copy or whatever else. Another fellow tells me 'Sab sahab log wahaan pe baithte hain, toh aapko sign karke wohi denge, hum nahin de sakte.' Now I'm truly irritated. I ask them once more if its not possible for them to do something at Mulund, they say sorry, no. All very nicely, I must add, but that really isn't helping me.

4.45 pm - I'm out of the railway police station and I'm buying sevpuri, because I like sevpuri. I've dealt with the Kurla railway police station before and its definitely not something I look forward to. Not to mention, its a half-hour train journey from Mulund, which I have no intention of taking on a holiday. Suddenly, I get a brainwave and call up the Reliance helpline, and ask them the procedure for canceling my number. Its not a number I use much and I haven't given it to many people either, so I'm perfectly OK with stopping the service. I come to know that for completely stopping the service, I require only a few documents which I'm already carrying on hand. I'm feeling better now.

5.15 pm - I'm at the Reliance store again. I tell them I want to cancel my number. Suddenly, it appears that I, in fact, don't need a police complaint to get a replacement SIM card. Fifteen minutes later, I walk out with my new SIM card.