Exes, Marriage, and Karma

Aislinn Bailey at Henderson Beach State Park (Destin, Florida) on 17 June 2010, contemplating the tide with her camera at sunset. No oil from the oil spill on the beach, but the sand near the water felt dirty and whole beach smelled like dead sea life. Photo copyright by Lorna Tedder; all rights reserved.

Probably no place is there a greater summons for “karma” than during a relationship break-up. It’s the call for what-goes-around to come-around and quickly. Instantaneously, if possible. It usually has to do with lies or cheating or lies and cheating. I suppose there could be other reasons jilted lovers and ex-lovers call down the wrath of the Gods, but I can’t think of any.

I’ve observed that karma usually has a special way of working out for people who lie or cheat—or lie and cheat. It’s called marriage.

At the time of a break-up, the prospect of a lover marrying someone else—whether in a few months or few years–generally is met with despair. But I’ve learned differently. I’ve actually become a huge fan of ex-lovers marrying as soon after our break-up as possible. There have been a few who’ve made me giddy every time I’ve thought of their impending nuptials.

Why?

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Because what better karma is there for liars or cheaters (or liars and cheaters) than to attract some other liar or cheater into a potential long-term legal partnership? They may think they’ve found their own little slice of nirvana, but from what I’ve seen, it quickly becomes their own private hell, even though they generally won’t admit it for a couple of years. The behaviors that brought them to this place don’t go away—they just change focus. Cheaters rarely stop cheating, and liars rarely stop lying—they simply cheat on different people or lie to a new spouse. They find that out about each other soon enough, and that’s what comes around again. I’ve been caught laughing a little too often over the prospect of someone else marrying some past romantic interest because I’ve known enough secrets about at least half of the happy couple to know that marriage between those two people is the greatest punishment I could wish on anyone.

So if your lying, cheating ex is marrying someone else, congratulate him or her…and then smile to yourself. You don’t have to do anything at all for them to get what’s coming to them.