'My sister’s death saved the lives of many'

By Dilvin Yasa| 1 year ago

'My sister’s death saved the lives of many'

The last day of Carol Hammett’s life started the way of any other.

There was the early morning hustle to get her daughters – then aged 11 and 16 respectively – into their uniforms and out the front door. There was a pit-stop at her neighbour’s house to drop off her youngest to be taken to primary while Hammett, a single mother doing it all on her own, dropped off her eldest at high school. Safely at her desk just after 8am, she seemed ready to tackle the mounting workload that had been threatening to overwhelm her, when suddenly, she took leave of her desk. The word that she was missing went out around her office less than an hour later.

Older brother Gary Hammett remembers the call he received that July morning in 2014 in vivid detail.

“I was told Carol was found unconscious and that two ambulance teams were working on her but that she wasn’t responding,” he says quietly.

“I’m in emergency services myself, so I asked how long they’d been working on her at the scene and when they answered ’30 minutes’, I knew that wasn’t a good sign.”

At the hospital, Hammett arrived to receive the news that it was suspected Carol – 11 year his junior – had suffered a brain aneurysm.

Although hospital staff continued to work on Carol, they gently let him know that it might be best if Gary called the rest of the family to come down to the hospital. Hammett raced to pick up his eldest niece from high school, but discovered his youngest was on a school excursion in Ballarat and out of reach. Hammett’s older brother, partner Sandra and some of Carol’s best friends arrived on the scene quickly. (“I couldn’t believe how quickly news spreads on social media these days,” Hammett says.) The group were quickly shown to a private family room away from the general chaos of the general environment.

“While we were in there waiting to hear news, I remember saying to our brother, ‘You know, if it’s not looking too good, they may ask us whether we want to donate Carol’s organs and I think you should be prepared for that question,’” Hammett says.

“But no matter how hard I tried, he just couldn’t comprehend what I was telling him and that’s fair enough – there is nothing in this life that can prepare you for that question.”

By Hammett’s own admission, he was still hoping it would be a throwaway conversation between two brothers they wouldn’t really have to worry about, but then the door opened and the group received the news that they had been dreading. “We were told there was nothing they could do for her and that she had passed away,” he says, explaining that although she was still hooked up to machines, her brain function was dead. “They were very sensitive in their approach, and told us they would continue to test further, but after a few more tests they eventually asked whether we had considered organ donation.”

Although Hammett was clear that there is nothing in the world that can prepare you for the question, it’s fortunate that organ donation had come up during conversation between the siblings a number of years ago.

“I knew without a shadow of doubt that it’s what Carol would have wanted, but back when we spoke about it, I never could have guessed that there would come a day when I would have to action such a thing,” he admits. “There’s this disbelief that your healthy 45-year-old sister has really died and you start looking around the room, asking, ‘Are you sure? Are you 100 per cent sure she’s dead? Can we hang on for another 24 hours? Can we wait a week?’ But then you have to ask yourself how long do you want to wait and what will it really achieve?”

Consulting with his sister’s loved ones, Hammett decided to ask those who knew Carol best what they should do.

Their older brother wasn’t keen on the idea, although Carol’s best friends – one of whom had been by her side since they were three years old – were. But in the end it was Zoe who helped make Hammett’s mind up. “She leaned forward so composed and said, ‘Mum was a carer and a giver and she’d want to help others,’ and for a 16 year old girl who’s just lost her mother to say that…” His voice trails off.

The decision was made to donate all of Carol’s vital organs, tissue and cornea.

The family met with a coordinator from Donate Life who answered questions and gave them the appropriate forms to sign. While searches for exact matches were conducted and potential recipients contacted, the family were told they could visit Carol any time they liked – a memory that Hammett holds dear to his heart.

“I was able to hold her hand and tell her all the things I wanted to say,” he says with a voice choked with emotion. “I don’t know if she heard me but I squeezed her hand and told her that I would always look after her girls and by God, that’s a promise I will always keep.”

Hammett’s one wish during the organ transfer was that Carol would always be treated with dignity and respect at all times and he says that they kept their word. A female member of Donate Life stayed throughout Carol’s side throughout the procedure the following day, watching over her in theatre and accompanying her body back to her anxious family.

“They met every request and more,” Hammett says. “They took locks from Carol’s hair that I will one day give to the girls, and they also took Carol’s fingerprints so that her prints could go on the family tree at my daughter’s upcoming wedding – along with everybody else’s.”

In accordance with the law, Hammett’s family were not advised who Carol’s organs were going to, only that the transplant had occurred and the details of what was transplanted. That said, since the transplants, Hammett has received many wonderful letters from grateful recipients – slivers of light in very dark times.

“Carol’s gone and it doesn’t get any easier for me or the girls, but there’s something about knowing that she’s given life and quality of life to so many others that just makes things a little brighter,” he says. The letters for now are in his safe-keeping, but he will eventually pass them on to the girls to let them know exactly how much of a carer and giver their mum really was. “In some small way, Carol lives on – not only through the recipients, but through her story that I tell to you now.”

Having experienced the difference a single donor can make, Hammett urges all Australians to consider becoming donors themselves.

“Have the conversation and if you feel that this is something you might like to do, make your wishes known to immediate family, register with Donate Life and carry your card with you at all times like I do, my children do and my partner does," he says.

“I know it can be a difficult topic to get your head around and there’s certainly a great of trust involved, but it really is the greatest gift you can give.”

Told in honour of Thank You Day (Sunday, November 19, 2017), a day to honour organ tissue donors and their families.

The Australian system of organ donation is based on an informed consent or ‘opt in’ model for requesting consent to organ and tissue donation whereby individuals are given the option to record their intent to donate their organs and/or tissue on the Australian Organ Donor Register. The family will always be asked to support the donation wishes of the deceased before donation for transplantation can proceed. Donation does not proceed if a family strongly objects to the donation.