Chibi-Mercury
A Sailor Moon Dialogue.
Scene:
Ami and Rei by an elementary school.
Ami: I'm bored, why are we sitting at this elementary school?
Rei: Because the poor, lame brain, excuse for an author put us here.
Ami: You know, she could technically put us anywhere in the universe.
Wouldn't that be scary? I mean, we could be drowning in the Arctic ocean
with
weights tied to our ankles and frostbite eating at our lifeless bodies.
Rei: Shut up, you might give her some ideas! (looks cautiously at the
author)
The background slowly fades away, replaced with a sweltering heated
cave-like
place.
Rei: Where the heck are we?
Ami: Hm, my calculations say, hm, we are in a..a..a ......a .. volcanic
mountain before its biyearly eruption.
Rei: Nani!?! hm, at least it's not freezing cold like the arctic ocean!
A sudden rippling noise and blast throw the two in the air in a rush of
ashes
and smoke. They land a few thousand miles away, back at the elementary
school
in a heap of scars and blood and bruises and the likes.
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
1 hr. later...
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ...........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
24 hrs. later...
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Ami: ........
Rei: ..............
Rei: ..............
Ami: Rei? You awake yet?
Rei: ................
Ami: I guess not.
Rei:................
Ami: Well, it seems you have suffered severe damage to the brain. You need
a
doctor.
Melvin, (but I don't know his japanese name) walks in.
Melvin: Oh my gosh! Rei is suffering a concussion, quick, she needs help!
Whats the number for 911? Heck, I forgot! Oh no! Mom's gonna kill me!
I'll
flunk First Aid for sure, now! AGK! HEEELLLP ME!!! I AM A PITIFUL LOSER!
ACK!
Ami: 7810.
Melvin: Nani?! (pulls on hair in frantic hysteria)
Ami: (sarcastic) the number for 911 is 7810.
Melvin: Ah, thanks, Ami, I owe you one!
Ami smiles with evil intent.
Melvin runs off screaming: A pay phone! I need a pay phone! HEEEELP!
Ami: Idiot, I shouldn't have let him cheat off my test all those times
after
I moved here in eighth grade. But he would've flunked for sure If I
hadn't...
Rei:. ooooh, oh, ug, um. ack.
Ami: Didn't he know there was a telephone right here?
Rei: Thanks for getting rid of him. That dweeb was starting to get on my
nerves.
Ami: And I also have a green smurf, and vinegar, and hey, look, there's a
battle ax in my pocket too. And to think I thought there was only a
telephone!
Rei: You know, I would've beat him up if he hadn't run away.
Ami: And look, a yo yo, and giraffe, and look, Ryo, hey, what are you doing
in my pocket?!
Ryo: You froze me in there on our last date when I said I didn't have
enough
money to take you to the museum of science. Ouch, that was cold.
Ami: Oh yeah, but why are you defrosted? Do you have enough money for the
museum yet?
Ryo: No, Ami, I've been stuck in your pocket the whole time!
Ami: Nani?! Okay, buddy, Mercury Ice Storm Blast!
Ryo is frozen again and Ami sticks him back in her pocket.
Ami: You can come out when you've got enough money. And to think I used to
like you! Hey, why's the Titanic in my pocket? And the guinshoujzo
[crystal]!
Rei: ...And I would've bloodied his face, and purpled his gooney eyes after
squashing his putrid glasses!
Ami: What are you talking about? Hey, oof, look, Abe Lincoln's in my
pocket,
too. Wow, this is nifty.
Rei: huh? I have no idea what I'm talking about. Hey, where'd you get all
that cool stuff, ooh, the Titanic. I loved that movie!
Ami and a million other people bored with the Titanic sigh in exasperation.
CM (the author): The ship sunk!! Get over it!!
No offense to fellow author, Masked Maiden.
Ami: that's nice. This all came out of my pocket.
Rei: ..........
Ami: .........
Rei: ..........
Ami: .........
Rei: ..........
Ami: .........
Rei: ..........
Ami: .........
Rei: why are we sitting here doing nothing? I'm supposed to be at singing
lessons.
Ami: And I'm supposed to be at my computer course, but the author is
content
with our sitting here like idiots. Hey! Look, a whole pint of ice cream
conveniently frozen when I iced up Ryo!
Ami pulls spoon, bowl, ice cream scoop, and napkins out of pocket. Ami
scoops
out some ice cream and sits down to eat contentedly, occasionally reaching
into her pocket for chocolate syrup, sprinkles, the likes, you know..
Rei: Maybe I should kill the author for making me so boring. I mean, look,
I
can't pull all of that cool stuff out of _my_ pocket! You know, I'm gonna
hurt the author for that one~
Rei suddenly burns up in flames and lands in a pile of her own ashes.
Ami: Did I mention the author plays with voodoo dolls?
ChibiMercury: (NO I DON'T PLAY WITH VOODOO DOLLS REALLY!)
Pile of ashes that was once Rei: Oh, so now you tell me.
Ami: Well, I thought you were smart enough to realize that.
Rei: Guess again, besides, I'm not the one with the genius IQ.
Ami: Well maybe you'd like to have my IQ?! You think because I'm so smart
I
have no problems? Ha, my IQ makes my life a living fiery underworld.
Rei: Oh, your big mouth has done it again. I don't think I should talk to
you
anymore. Look at ChibiMercury's face, she looks strange, you gave her some
idea....
Background fades away once more and Rei and Ami find themselves in a mad
scientist's lab with funny, wired up bowls on their heads.
Rei: Nani?!
Ami: It appears that we have been teleported to a scientific lab and that
we
are currently lab rats in an experiment to switch our brains.
Rei: Oh, just great. Now look what you've done.
EEK!
A sudden whizzing sounds shuts up the two senshi as they get a quick
electric
shock and the room blacks out as lightening gives off bolts of light every
few
moments. Hours later...
Rei (who is really Ami): Oh my goodness, what has happened to us?
Ami (who is really Rei): Heck! Look at me, I'm Ami!
Rei (who is really Ami): It appears that the experiment has worked and that
our brains have switched bodies.
Ami (who is really Rei): Crap, this blue hair is awful, how do you stand
it?
Rei (who is really Ami): I like my hair. I just don't understand how you
can
go around with this mop on your head.
Ami (who is really Rei): Oh, so now you're calling my beautiful, black hair
a
mop?!
Rei (who is really Ami): Well you called my blue hair names!
The two begin to fight in a cloud of gray dust with little symbols and body
parts flashing out from time to time.
Ami (who is really Rei): BITCH!
Rei (who is really Ami): Scientific Loser!
Ami (who is really Rei) (sarcastic): Wow, nice come back, the worst I've
ever
heard!
Rei (who is really Ami): Well at least I'm not swearing like a fat old
drunk
man~!
Ami (who is really Rei): Oh, so now you're calling me a fat old drunk man?!
The two fight some more.
Rei (who is really Ami): LoSER!!
Ami (who is really Rei): DORK!
Minako swaggers up with a can of beer in her hand.
Minako: This is getting old you two. *Hick up!*
Minako snaps fingers and they all disappear.
Minako: Come on, we'll get you two fixed up. In the meantime, Makoto and
Usagi will take your place.
Ami (who is really Rei): Hey, how'd she do that?!
Rei (who is really Ami): When you're drunk, it's possible to do nearly
anything.
Makoto: What are we doing this for, it's not in our contract.
Usagi: Doesn't Mamo-chan have the best eyes? I love his eyes, they're his
best feature.
Makoto: I mean, we're not even getting paid to do this.
Usagi: Oh, Mamo-chan, I love you so much, I wish he was here. I love his
little pointy nose, it's so cute. That's Definitely his best feature!
Makoto: We shouldn't settle for this. I'm going to the boss's office. I'm
not doing this for free, I demand payment!
Usagi: That's nice. But Mamo-chan could do it much better. That's his
best
trait, he can persuade anyone!
Makoto: We can throw the whole corporation into chaos. Want to help me,
Sailor Moon?
Usagi: Is Mamoru going to be there? Mamo could do it better than you,
that's
why I like him.
Makoto: Um, I don't think so, remember? The boss gave him a week off.
He's
in Tahiti, I think. Hey, what do you mean Mamo's better than me?!
Usagi: Mamoru's in Tahiti?! How romantic. Mamo is the best, he always
picks
the best vacation spots!
Makoto: Well, are you still coming with me?
Usagi (shakes head out of trance): Coming where?
Makoto: To demand payment for doing this lame job.
Usagi: You go ahead, I'm going to go find Mamo!
Makoto: Alright, seeya~
The two walk off in separate directions.
Sailor Jupiter (confronting boss): I DEMAND PAYMENT!
Boss: Who are you?
Sailor Jupiter: I am one of your employees, Makoto, and you had me to a
really lame job at the elementary school for free, but I want payment!! I
don't work for free, you know!
Boss: Ha ha, I now know the identity of Sailor Jupiter, ha ha aha ha ha ha!
Sailor Jupiter: Crap, can't let you get away with that, you little creep!
JUPITER SUPREME THUNDER!
Boss crumbles into pile of electrocuted dust.
Sailor Jupiter: Ha ha, the good guys always win! (flashes a movie star
smile
and winks while giving a thumbs up!)
Meanwhile, in Tahiti....
Usagi: MAMO!! CHIBA MAMORU, WHERE ARE YOU?!
Mamoru: Usako?! Is that you?
Usagi: Mamo! OH, I was so sad, I'd thought I'd lost you again! (sniffles
sadly with a cry) I don't know how I'd go on without you!
Mamoru: Usagi?! What are you talking about? I've been getting a tan with
these Tahiti chicks! Besides, I'm not even fatally wounded or anything, how
could I leave you? By the way, what was your name again? Hey, Tahiti
chicks,
more cocoa butter~!
Usagi: Nani?!
Mamoru (scratches head in embarrassment): I mean these, uh, uh, Tahiti
servant girls...heh heh...
Usagi: Oh, okay. Hey, Mamo, let's go back to Japan.
Mamoru: Why? Tahiti is great, why not stay here and get a tan with me?
Usagi: Okay!
Usagi slips into a swimsuit and gets a towel, suntan lotion, umbrella,
sunglasses, and a diet coke from Ami's pocket, and lays down in the sun next
to Mamo and his Tahiti chicks.
Goku: AAAH!
Usagi: WHo are you?!
Goku: I am Goku, Grandpa says it means "Savior of Light".
Usagi: Oh, that's nice.
Goku: Yup, and I'm looking for the 7 Dragon Balls, with the help of my
friends, Bulma, Gohan, Chi Chi, Master Roshi, Oolong, Yamcha, Yajirobe,
Piccolo, Tien, Chau Su, the Sea Turtle, Vegeta, Chi Chi's Father, Bulma's
Father, Krilliun, Bulma's Mom, the Namecks, Komme, Mr. Po Po, and King Kai,
and we're fighting against Fresia and her Ginyu Force.
Usagi: Oh, that's nice and all, but why are you here?
Goku: Well, everyone needs their daily helping of Goku!
Usagi: Pest.
Mamoru: Oh yeah?! Well, I'll give you a helping of my fist if you don't
leave my girlfriend, uh, uh, hey, girlfriend, what's your name?
Usagi: Rabbit of the Moon.
Mamoru: Oh yeah, Well, if you don't leave Rabbit of the Moon alone!
Goku: Eh?! heh heh, I think I hear Chi Chi calling! Bye!
In crystal Tokyo in the future.......
ChibiUsa: Mommy? Why is your skin so tan and wrinkly?
Serenity: Let's just say your daddy and I once had a grand time in Tahiti!
^_^ Hey, why are you calling me wrinkly??
BOOOMMMM!!!
ChibiUsa is knocked against the wall unconscious, drooling slightly: Mommy,
weeeee, lookie, ice cream man. Hey, why's he dancing with the moon beams,
haha,,
ChibiUsa falls asleep with dreams of ice cream men dancing with moonbeams.
Serenity: Chiisa, darling, I've told you time and time again, it's not nice
to make fun of people. Hee hee.
Serenity giggles and curtsies, and flounces away in a boat of ribbons and
lacy
frills.
Meanwhile back in Tokyo in the past.......
Minako: There, how do you feel, Rei?
Rei: Quack!
Minako: Well, I know that was a pretty strange experience, but how are you?
Rei: Quack!
Ami: I think the molecules in her brain have been affected in such a way
that
she believes she is a duck.
Rei: Quack!
Minako: Oh, that's nice.
Ami: What can we do to help her? We just can't leave her in this
condition.
Minako: What's in your pocket?
Rei: Quack!
Ami and Minako: SHUT UP!
Rei: Quay.
Ami: Okay, here's a locomotive, a Harley Davidson, an ax murderer, 10
pennies...(ELYK!)
Minako: Nothing useful, ne?
Ami: ....Oh, and here's a pay phone, and my Ryo Popsicle, and the Carpathia,
and my henshin wand, and a stretcher and a first aid kit....
Minako: You sure do have big pockets in your jeans, where'd you buy them?
Ami: KMart!
Minako: KMART?!! YUCK!
Ami: Just kidding, I got them at Body Shop.
Minako: Not...Limited?
Ami: Nope, and I know how hard it is for you to shop elsewhere besides
Limited!! ^_^
Minako: WAH!!!!
Ami pulls out a few familiar anime characters from her pocket.
Ami: Hey, who are you?
Ranma: I'm Ranma.
Minako: And who's your friend? *hick*
Akane: Friend?! I'm not your friend, Ranma!
Ranma: This is Akane, my fiance.
Akane: Hmph. You guys woulndn't be talking to him if you knew what he
could
do! He can turn into a gir-
Ranma: Shh, Akane, hey, what are you looking for?
Minako: Our friend, Rei, thinks she's a duck.
Ami: Hey, here's what I was looking for, my Scientific Brain Molecule
UnScrambler. Oh, by the way, Minako's drunk.
Minako: So? *hick* Ooh, Scientific!
Ami: Isn't it, though!
Ranma: Well, I guess you don't need our help anymore, seeya!
Ranma and Akane jump back into Ami's pocket.
Ami sets the UnScrambler on Deep Fry and presses the 'go' button.
Rei: Quack, QUAAAAAAAAACK! Hey, what the?!
Minako: Usagi's reading your comics!
Rei: No! Where is she? I'm gonna flame her butt!
Ami: It looks like my machine worked.
Minako: As always. (sighs)
Ami: Nifty.
Rei is in the background, guarding her precious comics: Don't worry, Usagi
will never harm you. I'll Flame Sniper her rear if she ever touches you...
Way off in the distance......
Author: Hi, bread stick, how are you?
Bread stick (in a raspy whisper): I'm fine, I'm all slathered in butter.
Author (CM): Oh, well how come you're not slathered in hot sauce?
BS: I don't know, let's try it!
CM: OH KAY!! YEAH!
CM gets up from the Fazoli's booth and walks around restaurant, saying,
"hi,"
to people, and "could you perhaps spare a bit of hot sauce?" And showing
off
her new Sailor Moon sweat shirt.
BS: Isn't that girl crazy?
CM, from across the restaurant: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SAILOR MOON IS NOT
REAL?!'
YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, EVIL, WOEFUL BEAST! MERCURY TIDAL WAVES, CRASH!
Mean Customer who said Sailor moon isn't real: Oh, looks like your waves
are
busted. I'm still here!
CM: DEATH TO YOU! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! (LAUGHs insanely)
CM lunges at customer and whacks them to death with bread sticks and
meatballs: And don't you even be mean to Sailor Moon again!
CM looks up in embarrassment: Oh, hi reader, didn't see you there, heh
heh.....
In Tahiti:
Usagi: Why are all those girls slathering cocoa butter on your back, Mamo?
Why can't I do it?
Mamoru (dreamy expression on face): Pretty girls, all for meeee!
Usagi: NANI?!
Mamoru (snaps awake): Oh, nothing, Usako. I, uh, um....
Setsuna walks up from the water in a sexy swimsuit.
Setsuna: Ready for the movie, Mamo?
Usagi and Mamo: WHAT MOVIE?!
Usagi: You're not taking my Mamo anywhere!
Mamoru: What are you talking about, Setsuna?
Setsuna: Remember that day you got drunk at my apartment and went flouncing
around butt naked? And the boss gave you a week off to recover? So you
went
to Tahiti, but while at my apartment, you said that we could go see, "Make
Out
at the Theaters' today.
Mamoru: Uh, no?!
Usagi (in tears): What are you talking about?!!
Mamoru wasn't drunk running around naked at your apartment, he's mine! NOT
YOURS! MINE!!
Setsuna: Oh, quite the contrary.
Setsuna snaps her fingers and she and Mamo disappear.
Mamo: But what about the Tahiti Chicks?!!
--------------
Usagi sits by herself crying when Haruka and Michiru walk by.
Michiru: Usagi, what's wrong?
Usagi: I just found out that Mamoru went around butt naked at Setsuna's
apartment while he was drunk and now he and Setsuna went to the movies
together! WAH!!
Haruka: Why does this whole story seem like a giant soap opera to me?
Michiru slaps Haruka: Shut up, Love! Look at Usagi, don't upset her
anymore!
Haruka: Whyyyy nooooot?
Michiru walks off: Come on, Haruka, I'll explain it to you. Bye, Usagi,
hope
you feel better soon!
Usagi: WHY AM I THE ONLY LOVELESS CREATURE IN THIS SICK, SAD, PITIFUL
WORLD?!
Haruka, getting dragged away by Michiru pulling her ear: Because your
meatballs are so out of style, heh heh!!!!!!!!
Usagi: WWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mean while, at the movie, "Making out at the Theaters"......
Mamoru: Setsuna, get your head off my lap, watch the movie. Other wise I
want to go back to my Tahiti chicks.
Setsuna: And what about Usagi?
Mamoru: Usagi Who?
Setsuna looks up horrified, yet laughing just the same: Oh, I forgot, there
is no Usagi.
Mamoru: Then who's Tsoooo-- (looks at his key ring, it's a key chain thing
with Usagi's picture and name on it.) --kino Usagi?
Setsuna, ripping the keyring out of Mamo's hands: Oh her? No one
important...
Sailor Moon: In the name of the moon, I have come here from all the way
from
Tahiti to save my Mamo-chan! I will protect him from villains like you, in
the name of the moon, I shall vanquish you!
Sailor Pluto: ha ha, idiot, Mamoru's mine, now!
Sailor Moon: LIAR! MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!!!
Sailor Pluto disappears in a cloud of smoke and Usagi takes her seat next to
Mamoru: Oh Mamo, I just love this movie! Act it out for me?.....
Mamoru: Oh sure, but who are you?
Usagi: Me?? Well, I'm a Tahiti Chick!
Mamoru: COOL!
Usagi snuggles up on Mamoru's lap as he begins to act out the movie for
her....
Meanwhile, back in Tokyo;
Rei & Minako: Let's go, Ami, let's go, whoo hoo, (sounding like cheering
fans
at a baseball game.)
Ami: ......a bookshelf with all of Charles Dicken's work, a brand new '98
computer, a cordless telephone, a mobile home with Queen Beryl living in it
like a poor tramp, the whole collection of Beatles CDs, the Eifel
Tower.......
Minako: GO, AMI!!
Rei: Let's see, that's a grand total of
2,938,460,482,790,329,925,789,451,865,876 items, just in your right pants
pocket, let's go, Ami. Empty out those pockets!
Ami: Statue of Liberty, Planet Mercury, a litter of Labrador Puppies, a
covered wagon, ChibiMercury (the author)....
ChibiMercury: (Cough, cough) Hey, why am I in your pocket? I'm supposed
to
be writing this dialogue! Let me out of here!
CM walks away in fury.
ChibiMercury: Wait a second, I forgot my bread stick buddy.
BS: Hey, don't leave me in that girl's pocket!
ChibiMercury: Oh yeah, Ami, before we go, would you perhaps be able to
spare
us a bit of hot sauce?! ^_^
Ami: Sure, there must be some of that stuff in here somewhere...
Ami pulls out some hot sauce and CM and BS walk off estatically.
Minako: Who was that girl?
Rei: Yeah, she's scary.
Ami: Oh her? She's my future daughter.
Rei and Minako: NANI?! That girl is related to you?!
Ami shrugs and starts pulling out more items from her right pocket.
Future in Crystal Tokyo.....
ChibiUsa: Lady Mercury, what's with your pockets? I mean, when the
servants
wash them, they're empty, but when you put them on, you pull all this stuff
out of them. You're like a freak or something!
Lady Mercury: You're calling me a freak?! Ooh, nobody calls me names or is
mean to me! Just ask Ryo! Mercury Shabon Spray!
ChibiUsa: Ooh, that hurt... (nods off into unconsciousness.)
Hey, Ice cream men?! Did the Moon Beams break up with you? Why are you
dancing with the twinkly stars now?
ChibiUsa falls back into unconsciousness dreaming of the Ice Cream Men
dancing
with twinkly stars.
Lady Mercury wipes hands and walks off.
Meanwhile, at the movies....
Usagi: Mamo, you don't put your hands _there_! The movie says put them
_here_!
Mamo: Ooops, sorry.
****Due to immature readers like myself, and others, this part is censored.
Also so I don't have to put it in the henta section.****
In Fazoli's, back at the restaurant....
CM: More hotsauce?
BS in his raspy, whispering voice: No, this is fine.
CM: Are you sure, you don't look hot enough.
BS: I said I'm fine.
CM: I'm gonna slather you in even MORE hotsauce!!
BS: Don't! NO!!!
CM: (laughing insanely) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, hot sauce!!!!!!
BS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Back in Tahiti....
Haruka: ....and then the aliens brought me back to earth, and that's when I
realized how dorky all the dresses I wore were, so I tried to become a boy!
I
burned all the dresses one by one, and then bought race car supplies and my
first set of boy clothing. The aliens brought me to the light and
everything
became clear!
Michiru: She's never been quite right since the accident...
Haruka: It was no accident!! The alien's said _I_ was the chosen one!!
They
were looking for me!
Michiru: Whatever you say, Love.
Haruka: And then, as thanks for letting them abduct me, they gave me my
race
car!
Michiru (getting a little nervous and angry): Okay, Love, if aliens
abducted
you, where are they?!
Haruka, pointing behind Michiru's back: There they are!! HEY, SOJR!! OVER
HERE!
Michiru: Sorj?
Haruka: No, you dolt, it's Sojr!
Sojr in an alien voice: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka: Hey, Sojr, long time no see! So, how's your home planet been? And
Queen Eoja?
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka, getting angry: Well, you've already greeted us, you dolt!
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Michiru: He doesn't say much, does he?
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka: No! It's not supposed to be that way!!
Come on, Sojr, tell us about Queen Eoja, and King Eoji!
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka: AAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!
Michiru in a doubtful voice: And he's the one who brought you to the
light?!
Haruka, in tears: Hai, hai, it was him, but he's never acted this way
before!
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka: WHY??????!!!!!!!!
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Michiru: Very talkative fellow, isn't he?
Haruka: PLEASE, SOJR, Tell ME!! How is Queen Eoja, King Eoji, Ajkra, Lejr,
any one, just tell me something besides--
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka: You took the words right out of my mouth!
Meanwhile, back at Ami's pocket emptying...
Rei: Whoa, the grand total of items in your right pocket was:
85,491,901,540,954,813,985,248,184,174,681,854,450,882,354,184,084,198,485,485
,918,501,859,080,981!!
Minako: Like I said, the girl has gigantic pockets! By the way, can I have
that six pack of beer you pulled out about an hour ago?
Ami: Don't you think you've had enough to drink?
Minako: I'LL TELL YOU WHEN _I'VE_ HAD ENOUGH TO DRINK, YOU BLUE HAIRED
LITTLE
WHORE!!!
Rei: Okay, Mina-chan, take it easy...
Minako: I won't take it easy until I get that beer!! ACK!
Mina runs off in rage screaming: I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH TO
DRINK,
I'LL TELL YOU, HAI, I WILL!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
Rei: Okay, Ami, let's start on your left pocket, now.
Ami: Alright. Just hide the beer incase Minako returns.
Rei: How about I store it in my stomach...?
Ami: You wouldn't!
Rei: I know, I was just kidding.
Ami: Okay, let's go. The Egyptian Pyramids, King Tut's grave, Stephen
King,
Robert J. Zeifel, a Calico Kitten, my cousin, Irv, a delta airplane.....
Rei: Good, you're already at 7 items in 10 seconds.
Ami: Rip Van Winkle, The Headless Horseman...
Rei: 8, 9...
Ami: Hey, reader, why don't you go to Tahiti for now, this may take a
while.... A brand new kitchen set from 1959...
Tahiti...
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Haruka, lying in a limp pile on the ground, sobbing: Please, Sojr, stop,
stop, no more torture.
Michiru, lying on the beach with a Martini in one hand: Haruka, Love, come
have a drink. These Martini's are the best.
Haruka: I'm not moving until Sojr says something besides "Greetings,
Haruka,
Michiru, I am Sojr."
Michiru: Oh, just leave the little green, horrid thing alone, come, a drink
will soothe your nerves.
Minako, running up: ....YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH TO DRINK! HAI, I WILL,
I'LL
TELL YOU! HA HA HA HA HA!
Michiru: Oh, hello, Minako, care for a drink?
Minako stops short: A... drink?! Sure, don't mind if I do.
Minako jumps into a swimsuit and gratefully takes a Martini from Michiru.
Michiru: Want some suntan lotion?
Minako: No, just give me some cocoa butter, and another Martini, I'm
already
done with my first one....
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr.
Minako: Who's that?
Michiru: Who? Him? Oh, that's Sojr.
Makoto wanders up aimlessly after electrocuting her boss: Sojr?! What a
great name, Hi, Sojr, I'm Makoto!
Sojr: Greetings, Makoto, I am Sojr.
Haruka: YAHOO!! Sojr said something besides, "Greetings, Haruka, Michiru,
I
am Sojr." Woopee!! Hey, Michiru, think I'll take you up on that drink
offer.
Ha ha, he said something else!
Michiru: Okay, here's a Martini.
Haruka settles next to Michiru and Minako with a Martini and lays in the
sun.
Makoto: Oh, Sojr, you look just like my old boyfriend, especially your
hair.
Sojr: Greeting, Makoto, I am Sojr.
Haruka: Hey, you dolt, Sojr has NO hair!
Makoto: And Sojr, your eyes are the best!
Sojr: Hey, want to go catch a movie, you're a cute chick. I hear "Making
out
at the Theaters" is playing.
Makoto: Sure, let's go!
Sojr: Alright, bye Haruka, Michiru, Minako!
Haruka: He was the alien who abducted me, and he wouldn't even talk to me!
How was I supposed to know he had a thing for brunettes?!
At the Movies.....
Makoto: Usagi, Mamoru? What are you guys doing here?
Usagi: Mamo-chan is acting out the movie for me.
Makoto: Hey, meet my new boyfriend, Sojr!
Sojr: Greetings, Usagi, Mamoru. I am Sojr....
Meanwhile.....
Rei (sighing): Ami, it's been five days, and you're still pulling stuff out
of your left pocket.
Ami: So? At least we're not at the elementary scho--
Rei, clamping Ami's mouth shut: Don't you dare say it, ChibiMercury's in
another one of those moods.
CM: hee hee hee....
Background fades away slowly, and as Rei screams in bloody torture, Rei and
Ami find themselves back at the elementary school.
Rei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ami, how could you?!
Ami, blushing in shame and embarrassment: Oops, sorry.
Rei, sighing: Okay, let's go back to your left pocket.
Ami: Okay, let's see, Luna, Artemis, Diana, Luna Ball, hey! Look, Rei,
Masked Maiden's in my pocket!!
Rei: You?! What are you doing here?!
MM: I was doing research on my story, Once Upon An Earth Kingdom.
Rei: Reasearch?! You're starting to sound like Ami! Studying when there's
no school!
Ami: Hey!
MM: No, you idiot, not studying, like for school. You know, I'm writing
part
9 to my story, and I needed to look some stuff up!
Rei: Oh, darn it. I wanted to laugh and call you "Little Ami Study Girl".
Ami: Hey Rei, don't be so mean to me, if you do, I'll give ChibiMercury
some
more ideas!!
Rei shut up, looking around cautiously.
MM: Thanks, Ami.
Ami: You're quite welcome.
MM: You know, you have some big pockets! I found Malion in there!
Ami: Ooh, really?! I don't like having evil beings nesting around in my
pockets!
MM: That's okay, I'll have the Seishi Senshi get rid of them, maybe. You'll
have to read my story, ONCE UPON AN EARTH KINGDOM, to find out.
Ami: Oh, nifty. Okay, I'll look for it next Sunday. Hey, look, Malion
really is in my pocket!!
MM: Oooh, eek, okay, seeya, Ami, I gotta go now!
Ami: Okay, happy writing!
MM: Okay, let's go see what ChibiMercury is doing at Fazoli's!
CM: Hey, Bread Stick, do you think I should stop writing this soap opera
dialogue?
BS (in his raspy whisper): I don't care, you can if you want.
CM: Okay, I guess I will. Help me, how do you spell, "The End"?
BS: Um, I don't know. Um, rhji? No, that's not right. Is it?
MM, walking up: It's t-h-e space e-n-d.
CM: Okay, cool, thanks. Hey, MM, what are you doing here?
MM: Just thought I should stroll by. Hey, who were talking to?
CM: Oh? This is my friend, Bread Stick. Bread Stick, Masked Maiden.
Masked
Maiden, Bread Stick. There, now you're best friends!~
BS: It's a pleasure to meet you. By the way, could you take the hot sauce
away from this girl, she's making me all soggy.
CM: AM NOT!
BS: Yes you are.
CM: AM NOT!
BS: Yes you are.
CM: AM NOT!
BS: Yes you are.
CM: AM NOT!
BS: Yes you are.
CM: AM NOT!
BS: Yes you are.
CM: AM NOT!
BS: Yes you are.
MM: Stop fighting you two, the other customers are starting to stare.
CM & BS: LET THEM STARE!!
MM, shrugging: Okay.
MM: I think we should move the camera, little kids shouldn't be reading
this.
Usagi: Mamo, I never realized how soft you were.
Mamo: Ooh, lovely Lady...
MM: Er, I don't think little kids should be reading this, either. Hm,
let's
try this...
Haruka: MICHIRU!! LOOK, IT'S QUEEN EOJA! HEY QUEEN EOJA!!
Michiru: Oh no, not again....
Queen Eoja: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Eoja.
Haruka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Michiru: Come on, Love. Let's go.
Michiru and Haruka leave Tahiti with Haruka in an insane state.
QE: Is it something I said???
In Crystal Tokyo...
ChibiUsa: Greetings, Michiru, Haruka, It's me, ChibiUsa!
Haruka, with a crazy look in her eyes: Noo!
BBBAAAAAAMMM!!
She knocks ChibiUsa against the wall, and ChibiUsa is knocked unconscious
again, drooling slightly.
Michiru: Really, Love, you shouldn't hit everyone who says hello to you.
Haruka: That wasn't ChibiUsa, it was Queen Eoja, and Sojr!
Michiru sighs as ChibiUsa babbles and mutters.
ChibiUsa: So, I guess the Twinkly Stars didn't like to date you, either,
Ice
Cream Men. So now you're dancing with meteors?! Hee hee....
ChibiUsa falls into a long sleep with Ice Cream Men dancing with Meteors.
MM: Why is everyone beating on poor ChibiUsa in this story?
CM: That girl is soooo annoying at times!!!!!!!
Fire Mage walks up: Who are you talking about?
Princess Starina walks up: They must be talking about me, after all, I'm
the
prettiest, and the princess, and everyone loves me!
CM, MM, and FM groan as PS giggles and curtsies.
FM: You?! The prettiest?!
MM: Everyone _loves_ you?!
CM: You wish you were a princess! Go get a life!
PS: Hey!! Everyone's so mean to me! I'll have to have the guards lock you
three away in the dungeon.
Everything is silent save for three giggles aimed at PS.
Princess Starina: Oh, okay, so maybe everyone doesn't love me... like
Toilet
Bowl Head and Geoff and JTWarcraft (but he really does look like a five year
old!), but....
CM: Okay, Star, we get the idea.
BreadStick: Yeah, we weren't trying to be mean!
CM: Speak for yourself! (J/K)
MM: You sure do like to fight with everyone over nothing!
CM: Hm, (^_^) I have no idea what you're talking about!
FM: Well, you got into a fight with Bread Stick over whether or not you
used
too much hotsauce.
BS: Yeah, and I was frying in that stuff, you're only supposed to use a
little.
CM: Well there was only a little in the bottle!
FM: That was a 20 oz bottle~! How about we pour that down your throat!!??
CM: NOOOOOO!!!
PS: And you were fighting with me because you were jealous of my beauty and
grace!
Everyone in whole dialogue goes silent as Princess Starina blushes in
embarrassment.
PS: Okay, okay, I get the idea! You don't have to be so mean to me...
After
all, I am the Princess....
CM, MM, and FM begin to laugh and PS sits down with a sigh of relief.
Ami: Hey you guys, I have some good news!!
CM, MM, FM, and PS: Nani?
Ami: I found my automatic story ender thingy in my left pocket!
Bread Stick: Does that mean the story is over?!
Ami: Yup!
Everyone mentioned in story: YEAH! IT'S OVER!!
Rei: You know, Ami, there was a total of:
49,852,979,674,902,704,975,092,479,547,091,275,198,478,497,514,704,967,89,789,
079,062,075,189,374,098,028 objects in your left pocket.
Ami: Wow, nifty!
Minako: Zero more bottles of beer on the wall, *hick*
Zero More bottles of beer, *hick*
I passed them *hick* all round,
but I chugged them all down, *hick*
No more *hick* bottles of beer on the wall.
Ami: You drank all that beer?!
Minako: Hick, yup, and it was good too.
Michiru: I knew I should have stopped her after her fifteenth Martini...
Sojr: Greetings, Everyone, I am Sojr.
Makoto: Oh Sojr, you're so wonderful!
Haruka: Stupid Aliens, I thought I was the chosen one!
Sojr: Greetings, Haruka, Michiru, I am Sojr! ^_^
Bread Stick: Okay this is it, the dialogue is over. I just wanted to say
thanks for the few great authors that let me and CM mention them in our
dialogue. And don't forget to read their stories! And nothing written
above
of below is meant to be offensive of anyone. So goodnight, all ye faithful
readers!
CM: hey, look, hot sauce!
BS runs off, even though he has no legs.
Mamoru: You know, Tahiti Chick, we should go to more movies~
Usagi: You said it, Lover Boy. You know, ChibiUsa might be coming sooner
than we expected, if you know what I mean...
Hotaru: Just what did you two do at the movies?!
Usagi and Mamoru smile innocently...
Hotaru: Hey, I just wanted to have a part in this dialogue, after all, you
just can't leave out the senshi of Saturn!
CM: Oh yeah, I forgot about you! Anyways, this is the end, so seeya!
BS: Oh, hello, who are you?
Ajkra: Greetings, Bread Stick, I am Ajkra.
BS: Hey, why do you aliens all say the same stuff?
Hotaru: Hey, maybe I can get more attention if I say;
Greetings, Bread Stick, I am Hotaru!
Haruka: Oh no! More aliens! Omigosh! It looks like Ujre!
Hotaru: Nonsense, I'm Hotaru.
Haruka: ALIENS!! REVENGE!! I will get you, Ujre!
BAM!
Haruka knocks Hotaru unconsciously against the wall where she falls into a
heap next to ChibiUsa.
Hotaru: Hey, Small Lady, do you see the Ice Cream Men and the dancing
Meteors?! he he, why am I drooling....ZZZZ...zzZZZ
BS: Well, uh, this has been a very, er, eventful dialogue!
67 characters (in other words, everyone mentioned in the dialogue): HA, HA!
IT'S THE END! THE END, I SAY!!!
***For complete list of all 67 characters, email me!***
P.S. There may be a little more or less than 67, but I'm not a
mathematician.