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May 16, 2014

Pet Peeves at the New Gym--Guest Post by Cindy at Fat Chicks Fitness

So where is Crabby? She's off, yet again, celebrating the marriage of some friends up in Northern California. (They're both lovely women, thus making it a gay marriage--Crabby's favorite kind!) As it happens, the celebrations require a couple days of travel back and forth, plus there is a chauffeured wine tasting tour involved--so any pictures Crabby might post today could be blurry, and her words might be slurry, and plus she'd be in a hurry, so why cause any worry or even risk fury when we have a fun guest post on hand?This guest post is by a favorite Cranky Fitness commenter, Cindy who blogs over at Fat Chick's Fitness!

Enjoy, and I'll be back Monday--Crabby

I wrote this for my own blog but, then I realized it is kind of representative of the foolishness I get up to at Fat Chicks Fitness so why not see if Crabby McSlacker will post it on her site. Save the good stuff for my blog! YEAH!

So I went with my friend to check out a gym that she just started at. I thought it was the one that has the massage chairs but she told me, Nope, not at her location. No comfy chairs at her gym she tells me. You're there to workout, not flake out. Oh, I will flake out wherever and whenever I feel the need. I am not too proud to sit on the floor!

So we enter the facility and EEK! EEK! EEK! EEK! Think the music from Jaws! It was like walking out into an NHL skating rink.

Have you people never heard of walls? I looked around and I will grant you that most people were just doing their thing but we definitely got checked-out and dismissed by a few people. OK, I may be a little self-conscious about the whole idea that even though I’m a fat chick I’m also a fully qualified gym rat as well.

At this point I had a bad case of information overload. Thousands of grey pieces of equipment sitting on multi-block grey floor with light grey walls.

How does somebody with limited vision find anything? I wonder how often they hear people saying “I left my water bottle on my treadmill and when I came back I couldn’t find the treadmill,” “We need row markers like in the parking lots.” Ooh they should use that idea, road signs. I’m working out in Heart Attack Alley today!

Anyway, I notice right off that the doors to the locker rooms are right there in the exercise area. UM Yuuuuck! So from your treadmill you can watch me walk in, go in the locker room, come out, do my workout and you know how long I am in the locker room and how often. I worked in an office once where I had to pass a couple desks to go to the washroom. One of the desk occupants used commented on my bathroom habits which are not and were not abnormal! I do not care to have somebody doing that at the gym.

The other thing is that there are people that you may want to avoid at the gym. The political campaigner comes to mind as I have been avoiding her at my gym for a while.

Endlessly asking me who I’m going to vote for (answer undecided) and then repeating over and over who you think I should vote for is not a conversation, it’s a record stuck on skip. At an open gym the only way to do that is by not going or changing your hours. I don’t see the swimming pool flailer anymore because I already changed my hours!!!!!!

When I think about it they really have to stay on top of any noise problems. A squeaky machine would drive everybody insane. I’m not really a fan of too much repetitive treadmill stomping either. I’m not talking normal use, some people seem to be able to slap their feet when they run and it is loud. I’m an exercise grunter myself so the less said about that being an annoyance the better.

So I think we have established I’m never joining this gym, not unless they get the massaging chair!

Which would you rather see at the gym? Just pretend it’s a massage chair and if you’re not single or you’re not into men or actually amputees ‘cause I cut his arms off in the third picture or … you know, just pretend!

We have a guy at the gym I work at who is probably 70 and he "runs" on the treadmill at 10 mph, which involves him hanging onto the handles for dear life and letting his feet flap against the belt super noisily. I can talk to anyone at the gym and refer to him as the "running guy" and they know who I'm talking about.

I don't get it 'cause in my head I am going OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! and they are enjoying themselves as they bang their feet down. The other one is those gals in high heels where you can see their ankle twist right and left with each step. OUCH! How can you do that!

Fascinating. The only two gyms I have belonged to have been open. (In fact that's how I got interested in lifting: using the elliptical and watching the weight side of the room and thinking it looked interesting.) Nobody seems to watch anyone except to see if they're nearing the end of a set and about to move on.

I don't like conventional gyms, rows of equipment that you drone away on. The one and only gym I ever loved was my boxing gym, which it was just group classes, boxing, strength training, kickboxing and bootcamp, it was the most fun I've ever had exercising.