The pretty teacher was concerned with
one of her young students so she took
him aside after class one day.
"Little Johnny, why has your school
work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love"
replied Little Johnny. Holding back
an urge to smile, the teacher asked,
"With whom?" "With you!" he said.
"But Little Johnny," said the teacher
gently, "don't you see how silly that
is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own
someday... but I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny
reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"

A lady went to her doctor for a check-up.
when asked how she got the bruises on the
outside of her thighs, she explained that
she got them from having sex. The doctor
then told her she would have to change
positions until the bruises healed. She
replied "Oh doctor, I can't... my dog's
breath is awful!"

A five-year-old boy was mowing his front
lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher
who lived across the street saw the beer
and came over to harass the kid. "Aren't
you a little young to be drinking, son?"
he asked. "That's nothing," the kid said
after taking a swig of beer. "I got laid
when I was three." "What? How did that
happen?" "I don't remember. I was drunk."

One day an old farmer fell asleep in
the top level in a 2 level hay shed.
When he woke up, he found his son
having sex with his girlfriend on
the bottom level of the hayshed.
He decided he wouldn't disturb them,
so he laid down and rested. After a
while he heard his son say, "Father,
father up above. Give me strength for
one last shove." So the father, being
smart, replied, "Son, son down below.
Get off and give your father a go."