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I'm afraid that I will one day yell too loud and I will blow my voice out and I will bleed out of my mouth and I won't ever talk again, I won't ever laugh again, and I won't ever sing again to a lover, friend, or crowd
But I try not to think about things like that because I wanna be happy, I wanna be the smartest person in the room, and I want everyone to notice when I am present
I wanna be laughing at a joke that Jimmy said in a diner in Poughkeepsie and I am surrounded by all my friends
I know that it must be hard for you to handle when she is drunk and you're alone and you just wanna go home just know that you are strong, stronger than me, stronger than I could ever be in this life but I try not to think about things like that because I'm gonna be happy, I'm gonna be the brightest person in the room, and everyone will notice when I am absent
I'm gonna be laughing at a joke that my best friend said in a restaurant far away from here surrounded by all my friends but just know that you got my attention and I can only hope that I hold your attention

Track Name: City Mouth - Body and Blood

My body and blood, lord
My soul and my skin
I’m not sure what they’re there for
But I know where they’ve been

I’m waking up with bruises I don’t recognize
I think I died last night
And in a strange twist of fate
I woke up with the same tired state as I do every day
I don’t know why I still drink
I think I’m starting to outgrow regretting things
That I can barely remember
But one way or another
I can’t seem to put this sacrifice to rest

My body and blood, lord
My soul and my skin
I’m not sure what they’re there for
But I know where they’ve been
And I know what these eyes have seen
Is easily forgotten
And every day goes by and
Everything dies eventually
But nothing happens to the ghosts

I woke up in the strangest place, I’ve got no coat
And it’s cold but I walk home
Retracing faces and footprints that followed me to your bed
I’d like to stay but I run instead
I left no number, no proof that I exist
Not that you’ll need it, you could see the signs of trouble on my skin
I woke up shaking like I always do
And i just know I'm gonna scare you away

My body and blood, lord
My soul and my skin
I’m not sure what they’re there for
But I know where they’ve been
And I know what these eyes have seen
Is easily forgotten
And every day goes by and
Everything dies eventually
But nothing happens to the ghosts

Will fear of god send me to heaven
Or am I gonna need something more
Cause I've been terrified from the beginning
I just wanna know what I should prepare for
But the bible hasn’t given me comfort
I was baptized on a bedroom floor
Where I was touched by something other than angels
And I just can’t forget anymore

Will fear of god send me to heaven
Or am I gonna need something more
Cause I've been terrified from the beginning
I just wanna know what I should prepare for
But the bible hasn’t given me comfort
I was baptized on a bedroom floor
Where I taught myself this feeling was my fault
And I don’t wanna feel the shame anymore

My body and blood, lord
(my body and blood)
My soul and my skin
(My soul and my skin)
I’m not sure what they’re there for
(there’s still blood on my hands)
But I know where they’ve been
(I’m still counting the sins)
And I know what these eyes have seen
(my body and blood)
Is easily forgotten
(my soul and my skin)
And every day goes by and
Everything dies eventually
(I’m not scared of the ghosts)
But nothing happens to the ghosts
(but I know where they’ve been, I know where they’ve been)

Track Name: I Don't Even Play Guitar in This Band

There is no providence in complaining - all of my emptiness in replacing,
now we exist in separate spaces and I've been doing what I can to face it

and I miss who I used to be,
before I started losing teeth and dying in my sleep

In the liminal space between acceptance and rhetoric:
what I've been repeatedly ignoring is getting progressively abhorrent

In the liminal space between unhappy and undying:
I was accepting my despondence - you were unhappy with the silence
now I'm regretting all the lost days
think I've forgotten how to find them