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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Spanner Interlude 1: Rocket Ready

You are dreaming. You watch three crazy beautiful teenage girls prepare to launch a model rocket.

One is copper-haired and bronze-skinned; she wears a Spanner-insignia flight jacket, trendy short black-and-pink-striped tennis dress, black lace-up boots, and black stockings high up her thighs. She is Shira Thomas, and she is directing the operation.

The tallest girl has long blond hair and pale skin. She looks like a supermodel who could rule Pretty City, but she has the brilliant mind of a scientist. She wears pragmatic clothing: faded blue jeans, salmon pink “Science Girls” T-shirt, and old tennis shoes. Over her rimless round glasses, she wears laboratory safety goggles. She is Shira’s cousin and BFF, Jennifer Blair, and this rocket is her creation.

The short girl sports short tousled brown hair and silver-trimmed black schoolgirl sailor fuku. She is cute, Japanese, and genki genki genki. She is an exchange student, and her name is Harumi Tachibana.

The rocket stands erect, ready to launch. Jennifer checks her mission control computer to make sure everything’s A-OK. Harumi slips in behind her. When the genki girl sees the big red button blink temptingly, she gleefully prances over to it and pounds it hard with her fist. When Jennifer sees the rocket start spewing exhaust, she turns around and is shocked to see the interloper.

At the top of her lungs, Harumi yells out, “LAUNCH!”

The mission control computer announces, “LAUNCH SEQUENCE ACTIVATED.”

Jennifer throws her safety goggles to the ground in frustration. “Haru-chan, stop it at once!”

Harumi sticks out her tongue and says “Bleeeeehhh!”

With a mighty thrust and a cloud of exhaust, the rocket launches into the air. It makes several loop-de-loops before it finally decides on a stable course, pointed straight toward you. “TARGET ACQUIRED,” it says. It gets bigger and bigger as it rockets toward you. It reaches its destination and lodges itself in your brain. You are annoyed. You mumble.

The rocket takes up the entire center of your field of vision. Jennifer appears to the left. She inspects the rocket and your head. Then she crosses her arms, looks up at an angle, and says “Mumble.” To the right, Harumi jumps up and down and squeals “Yatta!” Shira enters your field of vision in closeup. She inspects the rocket from the left. Then she inspects your head from the right. She flashes you a mischievous cockeyed grin that tells you that she’s not about to pull the rocket out of your brain. Instead, she digs in her jacket pocket, pulls out a bomb timer, sticks it to the rocket, and starts it ticking.

Jennifer frowns at Shira. Shira grins back at her naughtily. Harumi giggles. Annoyed, you grumble.

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About Me

Novelist, blogger, cartoonist (mangaka in training), rocker (singer, guitarist, and keyboardist also in training), tech geek, political junkie, public intellectual, professional slacker, and hacker of memes.

My first novel, Chaos Angel Spanner (originally planned as a manga in 1992), is currently undergoing its fifth and final revision for publication later this year. (WARNING: contains NSFW material, political incorrectness, and live mind viruses, so read at your own risk!)