And the Rockettes’ red glare…

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This is going to be a bleak holiday season, and we need to cut costs. I hate to do it, but we’re going to outsource the Rockettes for our Christmas Spectacular.

We’ve hired a troupe of dancing policemen in China, and as you can see in this photo below, they are already in rehearsal. We can get four million of them for a tiny fraction of what we pay the real Rockettes.

The only downside is that it takes nine hours for all of them to dance across the stage, so we can expect to have some pretty unhappy children. But then again, these ARE police, so any crowd control problem practically solves itself.