ClubFloyd Transcript:The Chinese Room by Joey Jones and Harry GilesAs played on ifMUD on April 23, 2011

The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction.
Below is a transcript of The Chinese Room, written by Joey Jones and Harry Giles. The Chinese Room was released as part of the 2007 Interactive Fiction Competition, where it took fifth place. It was nominated for Xyzzies for Best Writing, Best Puzzles, and Best NPCs. You can learn more about the game, including how to download it, by visiting the ifWiki.WARNING! Below you will find a transcript of people playing this game, and it goes without saying that the transcript is full of spoilers. So, if you've never played this game, and think you might like to at some point, I do not recommend reading any further. Instead, you might want to return to the interactive fiction page.

Floyd |
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Floyd | The Chinese Room began as an idle thought passing through an idle
Floyd | mind. Giles, recently become interested in the world of contemporary
Floyd | text adventures, restyled as the far classier "interactive fiction",
Floyd | was toying with the idea of his writing his own, and suddenly realised
Floyd | that some of the staples of genre IF -- escaping from a locked room,
Floyd | artificial intelligences, zombies -- were also the staples of the
Floyd | thought experiments of his chosen discipline, philosophy. Suddenly, a
Floyd | concept arrived fully-formed in his head: a text adventure in which
Floyd | the protagonist explored the rich, bizarre and often pointlessly
Floyd | stupid world of philosophy thought experiments.
Floyd |
Floyd | And that's what this game is. You, a philosophy student, after a night
Floyd | imbibing vast quantities of alcohol, wake up trapped in a malevolent
Floyd | fantasy universe. You must escape. (Assuming you want to, of course.
Floyd | You could just doodle around complaining about the bad jokes.)
Floyd | Essentially, the game is just a vehicle for a lot of jokes, but,
Floyd | taking its insipiration from the revolutionary philosopher Ludwig
Floyd | Wittgenstein ("a serious and good philosophical work could be written
Floyd | entirely of jokes"), it's also designed to serve as a sort of
Floyd | none-too-serious introduction to the world of philosophy. You'll
Floyd | encounter some of the key problems of philosophy in various odd ways,
Floyd | and might even be encouraged to explore them a bit further.
Floyd |
Floyd | The game was begun in the summer of 06, and then shelved for a frantic
Floyd | academic year in which, amongst other things, Giles discovered he
Floyd | didn't like studying philosophy that much after all. Somewhat more
Floyd | cynical, he returned to IF and the game with an embittered sense of
Floyd | humour. He contacted Jones, an erstwhile beta-tester of the original
Floyd | version of The Chinese Room and asked if he'd be interested in
Floyd | co-authoring. Happily accepting, Jones proceeded to drive the writing
Floyd | forward with surrealistic pace, and after a summer of furious writing,
Floyd | redrafting and testing, the game was completed at the end of summer
Floyd | 07, just in time for the annual Interactive Fiction Competition. Now
Floyd | it's on your screen for you to play. Gosh.
Floyd |
Floyd | A note about the style of gameplay. This is a very big game, and will
Floyd | probably take a long time to complete. It is possible to die in this
Floyd | game, sometimes suddenly, but usually with warning, and, similarly,
Floyd | while it's possible to trap the game in an unwinnable state, you'll
Floyd | probably be warned you're about to do it. In terms of style, it's
Floyd | heavily-inspired not just by text adventures but also by the LucasArts
Floyd | school of point-and-click adventure games -- irreverent, full of
Floyd | arcane object puzzle quests, and driven forward by a large cast of
Floyd | inane characters. Drawing on early text adventures, it is
Floyd | puzzle-driven rather than plot-driven, so suits being dipped in and
Floyd | out of. This is not a subtle game. This is a silly game. We hope you
Floyd | like it.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue.

smartgenes says, "that used to be the back story of an adventure game: "Argh, I'm lost and have no idea what's going on.""

inky says, "whoops, huge"

inky says, "my recollection is this is the sort of the game we can just dive into if folks want"

Lionheart says, "Oh goody, philosophy jokes."

DavidW says, "Comedy, philosophy, AND zombies. cool."

inky says, "though maybe we should look at the essentials on the previous menu"

Floyd |
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Floyd |
Floyd | Hey, folks. How's it going?
Floyd |
Floyd | This game has extensive informative menus. Feel free to read them. If
Floyd | you want to cut the chase and play the game, here's the essential
Floyd | stuff you need to know about what kind of game it is and how it works.
Floyd |
Floyd | This is a comic adventure set in the fantasy world of philosophy
Floyd | thought experiments. It is designed both as a humorous and enjoyable
Floyd | text adventure in a reasonably traditional style and as an
Floyd | introduction to some of philosophy's key issues, intended to be
Floyd | accessible not only to experienced IF players and experienced
Floyd | philosophers looking for a bit of fun, but also people with very
Floyd | little grounding in either. It is joke- and puzzle-driven, both of
Floyd | which range from the accessible to the tough and in-jokey.
Floyd |
Floyd | This is a fairly long game, and so may take several play sessions and
Floyd | a number of hours to complete. If for some reason, possibly
Floyd | judging-related, you've got to evaluate it after two hours of play
Floyd | only -- well, that's the way it goes for us over-amibitous writers,
Floyd | sadly. You'll likely not have finished it by then. Sorry about that.
Floyd | We hope you enjoy finishing it later on, when you do have time,
Floyd | though.
Floyd |
Floyd | It is possible to die, though only if you make a mistake, which will
Floyd | usually be clued. Death is often for comic effect, and can be easily
Floyd | undone. In addition, there is a way to trap the game in an unwinnable
Floyd | state, and while you can do this only by being a bit foolhardy, it's
Floyd | probably a good idea to save before doing anything that looks
Floyd | irreversible.
Floyd |
Floyd | Conversation is menu-based, initiated by the TALK TO command. The one
Floyd | special command is THINK ABOUT <a topic>, which will print some short
Floyd | thoughts on the philosophical topic of your choice. This is designed
Floyd | both to give philosophical background to the jokes and puzzles of the
Floyd | game, and to be a sort of hint system: while none of the game's
Floyd | puzzles require philosophical knowledge, a bit of background might
Floyd | help to jog your intuitions towards the correct solution. You should
Floyd | expect to use THINK ABOUT often, and a complete list of topics is
Floyd | available from the menus.
Floyd |
Floyd | In addition, there is both a hint system proper, which you should
Floyd | stumble on in your searches in the game (more information in menus),
Floyd | and a Tutorial for play, which walks through the game's opening
Floyd | puzzle. Finally, a walkthrough is available for the length of the
Floyd | IFComp 2007 judging period only: it can be found at
Floyd | www.danglercomic.com/chineseroom.html. We're doing it this roundabout
Floyd | way because neither of us like walkthroughs for various curmudgeonly
Floyd | ideological reasons. If you're using the walkthrough because you're a
Floyd | judge and want to see a lot of the game, that's cool, you're the
Floyd | reason we provided the walkthrough, you may ignore the sarky comments.
Floyd | If you're anybody else, then we hold nothing against you personally,
Floyd | but we seriously suggest you reconsider your policy on walkthroughs.
Floyd | You smelly people.
Floyd |
Floyd | Right, that's it. Get playing. Hope you enjoy it.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue.

Ellison says, "carry on, my wayward inky"

inky says, "argh, more text"

smartgenes says, "that's quite a hype-up in the blurb"

Lionheart says, "So I guess these will be Dennett-style philosophical zombies."

inky says, "I guess the summary is TALK TO <npc> and THINK ABOUT <topic>"

Ellison asks, "who would have thought that a game about philosophy jokes would blabber on?"

inky pushes the green 'space' button.

Floyd |
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Floyd |
Floyd | Celebrations seem so obscene when a year's been as bad as this one's
Floyd | been. Still, hard drinking was the order of the night, and
Floyd | obliterating the last vestiges of exam stress was the function it well
Floyd | fulfilled. Ethics, aesthetics, logic and metaphysics -- all vanish as
Floyd | sense-data succumb to paralytics.
Floyd |
Floyd | A few of your lecturers dropped by the Cellar Bar to toast the year
Floyd | with their beleaguered students. Even a couple of the more reclusive
Floyd | Arch? metaphysicians took a break from exploring possible worlds to
Floyd | explore the possibility of getting truly plastered.
Floyd |
Floyd | Staggering home blind drunk is one of the little-recognised pleasures
Floyd | of the philosopher. You take only a few tumbles, as sodium
Floyd | street-lighting carefully guides you to your flat.
Floyd |
Floyd | You fumble with the loose doorknob and slump inside, gingerly pulling
Floyd | yourself along the grubby carpet to your room, wary of waking a
Floyd | flatmate. Collapsing into bed, you wait for the spinning world to
Floyd | dissolve around you as you fall into relieved sleep.

inky says, "ha ha"

inky pushes the green 'space' button.

Floyd |
Floyd | The Chinese Room
Floyd | A philosophical text adventure into the green valleys of silliness, by
Floyd | H Giles and J Jones
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 070930 / Inform 7 build 4U65 (I6/v6.31 lib
Floyd | 6/11N)
Floyd |
Floyd | The Chinese Room
Floyd | (Note to all first-time players: inexperienced players may wish to
Floyd | spend some time reading the About and Help menus, accessible by
Floyd | entering the HELP command. All players should absolutely at the least
Floyd | read the ESSENTIALS available from the opening menu.)
Floyd |
Floyd | You wake up, body aching and head split in two by a hangover. Blinking
Floyd | the sleep from your eyes, you roll over, cracking your bones on the
Floyd | concrete.
Floyd |
Floyd | Concrete? You realise something is very wrong. Pushing yourself to
Floyd | your knees, you look around you.
Floyd |
Floyd | You find yourself in a strange room. It's a plain concrete box,
Floyd | equipped only with desk and chair. A computer sits on the desk,
Floyd | casting an insipid electronic glow over a stack of cards sitting by
Floyd | the keyboard. There's a slow drip from a damp patch up on the ceiling.
Floyd | Some grubby light seeps through a high window across onto the poster
Floyd | that dominates an entire wall. Across the top of the poster huge bold
Floyd | letters read "THE CHINESE ROOM". Underneath -- a string of Chinese
Floyd | characters.
Floyd |
Floyd | You have never seen this room before in your life, and the whole
Floyd | scenario is entirely beyond your understanding.
Floyd |

Floyd | The Chinese Room
Floyd | It's a plain concrete box, equipped only with desk and chair. A
Floyd | computer sits on the desk, casting an insipid electronic glow over a
Floyd | stack of cards sitting by the keyboard. There's a slow drip from a
Floyd | damp patch up on the ceiling. Some grubby light seeps through a high
Floyd | window across onto the poster that dominates an entire wall. Across
Floyd | the top of the poster huge bold letters read "THE CHINESE ROOM".
Floyd | Underneath -- a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "think about chinese room"

Floyd | The Chinese Room argument is a thought experiment originally devised
Floyd | by John Searle, designed to answer the question (in the negative):
Floyd | "Can a computer ever understand language?"
Floyd |
Floyd | Imagine a computer that has so complete a set of rules for providing
Floyd | Chinese output to Chinese input that it behaves exactly as a human who
Floyd | understands Chinese would. Ask it a question in Chinese, and it will
Floyd | give an appropriate response in Chinese. It appears do "understand"
Floyd | Chinese. But does it?
Floyd |
Floyd | Imagine now a human living in a small room, who is given a book
Floyd | consisting of a vast set of rules for providing a response in Chinese
Floyd | characters for any information ey receive in Chinese characters. Like
Floyd | a computer ey will provide appropriate Chinese output to Chinese
Floyd | input. The person is analogous to a computer, but does the person
Floyd | understand Chinese? It would seem, intuitively, that ey don't.
Floyd |
Floyd | The meat of the argument here is to distinguish between syntax, the
Floyd | rules by which language is constructed and manipulated, and semantics,
Floyd | what language actually means, and then claim that even incredibly
Floyd | in-depth knowledge of syntax is not sufficient for semantics -- only
Floyd | human-type minds, and not an artificial intelligence, have the
Floyd | capability to understand meaning.
Floyd |
Floyd | This leads into the debate about what "meaning" actually means. What
Floyd | can it be that only human-type minds have? What makes us special? Some
Floyd | philosophers, including, perhaps, the creators of the world you now
Floyd | find yourself in, would argue that actually all that the mind's
Floyd | ability to respond to input actually comprises is an incredibly
Floyd | complex set of learned syntactical rules, and that "meaning" separate
Floyd | from this is illusory -- so that if one were to learn all the rules
Floyd | for Chinese language-manipulation, one would understand that language.
Floyd |

Floyd | The Chinese Room
Floyd | It's a plain concrete box, equipped only with desk and chair. A
Floyd | computer sits on the desk, casting an insipid electronic glow over a
Floyd | stack of cards sitting by the keyboard. There's a slow drip from a
Floyd | damp patch up on the ceiling. Some grubby light seeps through a high
Floyd | window across onto the poster that dominates an entire wall. Across
Floyd | the top of the poster huge bold letters read "THE CHINESE ROOM".
Floyd | Underneath -- a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x poster"

Floyd | Underneath the title there is a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

Floyd | There's a damp patch spreading across the ceiling from the hatch at
Floyd | one end.
Floyd |

Ellison says, "I like how Floyd has a green space bar. it's like he's from some One Floyd Per Child program."

inky says, "ha ha"

Lionheart says, "Heh, so think about gives annotations? Good use of it, I suppose."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x hatch"

Floyd | It's too high to reach without standing on something, and it's locked.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Less obtrusive than a footnote command"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x desk"

Floyd | A simple affair, with black steel legs and a woodgrain formica
Floyd | surface. A drawer is stuck on underneath as an afterthought, like
Floyd | chewing-gum. What is interesting is what is on the desk.
Floyd |

Ellison says, "I'd agree with that"

DavidW says, "open ze drawer"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "think about zombies"

Floyd | Philosophical zombies, or pzombies, are another common thought
Floyd | experiment in philosophy of mind. They are creations which look and
Floyd | behave in every way like people, but which have no conscious
Floyd | experience. They raise a huge number of questions: are they possible?
Floyd | What is conscious experience? Could a zombie behave like a human
Floyd | without conscious experience? Is conscious experience a physical or
Floyd | non-physical phenomenon?
Floyd |
Floyd | These questions lead into what is known as "the hard problem of
Floyd | consciousness", which is: how do we explain subjective (or
Floyd | "phenomenal") conscious experience in terms of its neurological basis?
Floyd | Is the mind separate from the brain, like a free-floating soul? Is the
Floyd | mind a function of the brain, with mental activity caused by brain
Floyd | activity? Is the mind and conscious experience as we understand it an
Floyd | illusion, with the brain no more than the physical? If the mind is
Floyd | caused by the brain, how is it caused, and what is it about the brain
Floyd | that causes it?
Floyd |
Floyd | The hard problem of consciousness is one of the most perennial
Floyd | problems in philosophy, and in the two decades since it was first
Floyd | formulated by Richard Chalmers we have made little progress. This had
Floyd | led some philosophers, especially postmodern philosophers or followers
Floyd | of Wittgenstein, to wonder whether the problem itself arises only from
Floyd | a sort of language-game, a particular linguistic conception of the
Floyd | mind that has developed over time, especially in the West. Maybe it is
Floyd | not consciousness which is illusory, but rather the existence of the
Floyd | problem of consciousness!
Floyd |

zarf says, "let's not get ahead of our zombies"

inky says (to Floyd), "open drawer"

Floyd | Inside the drawer sits a squat, leather-bound manual. It looks even
Floyd | more daunting than The Phenomenology of Spirit.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "read manual"

Floyd | The manual is a thick, leather-bound tome with THE RULES embossed in
Floyd | gold on the cover. Inside, you find hundreds and hundreds of rules,
Floyd | written in English, for transforming sets of incomprehensible Chinese
Floyd | characters into other sets of incomprehensible Chinese characters. You
Floyd | can't imagine why.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "get manual"

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to zarf), "haha"

inky says (to Floyd), "look up characters in manual"

Floyd | You discover nothing of interest in the manual.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "transform characters"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

zarf says, "the cards are the other important thing"

inky says (to Floyd), "x cards"

Floyd | You flick through the cards. Each of them features a number and a set
Floyd | of incomprehensible Chinese characters.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look on desk"

Floyd | A stack of strange rectangular cards is on the desk. The uppermost one
Floyd | features a number and a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "get cards"

Floyd | What do you want with a bunch of cards like that? Leave them be,
Floyd | unless you want to CONSULT something ABOUT them.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "consult manual about cards"

Floyd | You pick a card and then slowly, meticulously use the rules in the
Floyd | manual to generate a new set of chinese characters from the set on the
Floyd | card, typing it into the computer. What it all means you can't begin
Floyd | to guess, but it passes the time with some harmless mental exercise,
Floyd | like a Sudoku puzzle.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x computer"

Floyd | The computer screen displays the set of Chinese characters you just
Floyd | typed in, while each of the keyboard buttons features a Chinese
Floyd | character, apart from one big one at the bottom marked SEND.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "That sounds pretty darn daunting."

inky says (to Floyd), "x banner"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Binder says, "how sad, to characterize Sudoku as harmless"

inky says (to Floyd), "x poster"

Floyd | Underneath the title there is a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "type characters"

Floyd | You'd better deal with the set you already typed in first.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "push send"

Floyd | The Chinese characters vanish from the screen, and a message saying
Floyd | "CORRECT!" flashes up before abruptly vanishing again.
Floyd |
Floyd | Well, this is all pretty pointless, and it's not helping you learn
Floyd | Chinese.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Do we push send?"

Jizaboz says, "x send"

Jizaboz says, "doh"

inky says (to Floyd), "type characters"

Floyd | You press a few random keys, watching the Chinese appear on the
Floyd | screen, and then hit SEND. A message flashes up saying "INCORRECT!"
Floyd | before promptly vanishing again. Perhaps you ought to approach this
Floyd | more systematically.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to clubfloyd), "x send"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "translate poster"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "consult manual about poster"

Floyd | You discover nothing of interest in the manual.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "consult cards about characters"

Floyd | Just a load of random Chinese symbols

inky says, "uh"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "consult cards about future"

Floyd | Just a load of random Chinese symbols

DavidW says (to Floyd), "consult manual about characters"

Floyd | You discover nothing of interest in the manual.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "consult cards about poster"

Floyd | Just a load of random Chinese symbols

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x me"

Floyd | As good-looking as ever.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "i"

Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd | a manual
Floyd |

zarf says, "maybe it's just we have to do it several times"

DavidW says, "perhaps"

inky says (to Floyd), "type characters"

Floyd | You press a few random keys, watching the Chinese appear on the
Floyd | screen, and then hit SEND. A message flashes up saying "INCORRECT!"
Floyd | before promptly vanishing again. Perhaps you ought to approach this
Floyd | more systematically.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "consult manual about cards"

Floyd | You pick a card and then slowly, meticulously use the rules in the
Floyd | manual to generate a new set of chinese characters from the set on the
Floyd | card, typing it into the computer. What it all means you can't begin
Floyd | to guess, but it passes the time with some harmless mental exercise,
Floyd | like a Sudoku puzzle.
Floyd |

inky says, "hmm"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "push send"

Floyd | The Chinese characters vanish from the screen, and a message saying
Floyd | "CORRECT!" flashes up before abruptly vanishing again.
Floyd |
Floyd | You wish you had a nice book to settle down with, like a Camus novel
Floyd | or something.
Floyd |

Floyd | Underneath the title there is a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x window"

Floyd | It's high in the wall and far too small to fit through.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x string"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about descartes"

Floyd | Ren? Descartes (1596 - 1650) has become known as the Father of Modern
Floyd | Philosopher. A French thinker, his philosophy was founded on sceptical
Floyd | rationalism -- he sought to determine what could be rationally proved,
Floyd | using a method of extreme scepticism in order to test his beliefs. He
Floyd | as attempting to write "as if no-one had written on these matters
Floyd | before", and so his philosophy framed a great deal of what came after
Floyd | him, ushering in an era of ahistorical analytic philosophy which
Floyd | sought to determine the truth of the world.
Floyd |

Lionheart asks, "Where's a thousand monkeys when you need em?"

DavidW says, "In the toyshop."

inky says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | The Chinese Room
Floyd | It's a plain concrete box, equipped only with desk and chair. A
Floyd | computer sits on the desk, casting an insipid electronic glow over a
Floyd | stack of cards sitting by the keyboard. There's a slow drip from a
Floyd | damp patch up on the ceiling. Some grubby light seeps through a high
Floyd | window across onto the poster that dominates an entire wall. Across
Floyd | the top of the poster huge bold letters read "THE CHINESE ROOM".
Floyd | Underneath -- a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x window"

Floyd | It's high in the wall and far too small to fit through.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x keyboard"

Binder says, "hm, looks like some missing characters in the text in places. 'He as attempting'"

Floyd | You wish you understood Chinese -- as it is, these are just pretty
Floyd | squiggles.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x chair"

Floyd | The kind of grey plastic chair you find in schoolrooms. It sits by the
Floyd | desk.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x drip"

Floyd | There's a damp patch spreading across the ceiling from the hatch at
Floyd | one end.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "look under chair"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "push chair to hatch"

Floyd | You push the chair underneath the hatch. Cunning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "uh-oh"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "stand on chair"

Floyd | You stand on the chair. You can see your house from here! Well, you
Floyd | can't really, but you can reach the hatch.
Floyd |

zarf says, "that's not a philosophical thing to do!"

inky says (to Floyd), "x hatch"

Floyd | You can reach the hatch now, and it's locked.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "If you flood the room with tank water, we will die."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "say open sesame"

Floyd | (to yourself)
Floyd | Just TALK TO them.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to floyd), "x chair"

Floyd | The kind of grey plastic chair you find in schoolrooms. It sits under
Floyd | the hatch.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x cards"

Floyd | You flick through the cards. Each of them features a number and a set
Floyd | of incomprehensible Chinese characters.
Floyd |

zarf says, "new theory: if we run the cards enough times, we will learn to understand the poster"

inky says, "IIRC we do have to solve the card puzzle before proceeding"

inky says (to Floyd), "consult manual about card"

Floyd | You pick a card and then slowly, meticulously use the rules in the
Floyd | manual to generate a new set of chinese characters from the set on the
Floyd | card, typing it into the computer. What it all means you can't begin
Floyd | to guess, but it passes the time with some harmless mental exercise,
Floyd | like a Sudoku puzzle.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says, "OK"

Binder says, "mmm rote"

inky says (to Floyd), "push send"

Floyd | The Chinese characters vanish from the screen, and a message saying
Floyd | "CORRECT!" flashes up before abruptly vanishing again.
Floyd |
Floyd | In fact, you reckon if you had a book you could learn it off by heart.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "read manual"

Floyd | The manual is a thick, leather-bound tome with THE RULES embossed in
Floyd | gold on the cover. Inside, you find hundreds and hundreds of rules,
Floyd | written in English, for transforming sets of incomprehensible Chinese
Floyd | characters into other sets of incomprehensible Chinese characters. You
Floyd | can't imagine why.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "My guess is the Chinese print under "THE CHINESE ROOM" is just the Chinese for "The Chinese Room""

inky says (to Floyd), "memorize manual"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

zarf says (to floyd), "learn manual"

Floyd | You set to work learning the entire manual off by heart. After all,
Floyd | what else is there to do? Time passes like treacle -- but before you
Floyd | know it you have reached the final page. Syntax piles up on syntax in
Floyd | your mind, and action potentials blaze new neuronal trails. You feel a
Floyd | seismic change has occurred. Glancing at the cards, you realise you
Floyd | understand exactly what they mean!
Floyd |
Floyd | The only drawback to your newfound powers is that you begin to hear a
Floyd | slow whirring growling sound coming up through the floor. You presume
Floyd | it is John Searle turning in his grave. You hit upon the bright idea
Floyd | of hooking his body up to a generator to solve the world energy
Floyd | crisis, but think better of it and set your mind to escaping.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hey Inky don't eat the clues"

inky says, "argh"

inky says (to Floyd), "x poster"

Floyd | You can read the poster now! It says "Look in the drawer". Eh?
Floyd |

zarf says, "okay, needs some more beta-testing"

inky says (to Floyd), "look in the drawer"

Floyd | There's a key in here!
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "I guess not"

inky says, "hmmmm"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key"

Floyd | What the -- ? It was in here all along?
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to floyd), "think about John Searle"

Floyd | The Chinese Room argument is a thought experiment originally devised
Floyd | by John Searle, designed to answer the question (in the negative):
Floyd | "Can a computer ever understand language?"
Floyd |
Floyd | Imagine a computer that has so complete a set of rules for providing
Floyd | Chinese output to Chinese input that it behaves exactly as a human who
Floyd | understands Chinese would. Ask it a question in Chinese, and it will
Floyd | give an appropriate response in Chinese. It appears do "understand"
Floyd | Chinese. But does it?
Floyd |
Floyd | Imagine now a human living in a small room, who is given a book
Floyd | consisting of a vast set of rules for providing a response in Chinese
Floyd | characters for any information ey receive in Chinese characters. Like
Floyd | a computer ey will provide appropriate Chinese output to Chinese
Floyd | input. The person is analogous to a computer, but does the person
Floyd | understand Chinese? It would seem, intuitively, that ey don't.
Floyd |
Floyd | The meat of the argument here is to distinguish between syntax, the
Floyd | rules by which language is constructed and manipulated, and semantics,
Floyd | what language actually means, and then claim that even incredibly
Floyd | in-depth knowledge of syntax is not sufficient for semantics -- only
Floyd | human-type minds, and not an artificial intelligence, have the
Floyd | capability to understand meaning.
Floyd |
Floyd | This leads into the debate about what "meaning" actually means. What
Floyd | can it be that only human-type minds have? What makes us special? Some
Floyd | philosophers, including, perhaps, the creators of the world you now
Floyd | find yourself in, would argue that actually all that the mind's
Floyd | ability to respond to input actually comprises is an incredibly
Floyd | complex set of learned syntactical rules, and that "meaning" separate
Floyd | from this is illusory -- so that if one were to learn all the rules
Floyd | for Chinese language-manipulation, one would understand that language.
Floyd |

Binder exclaims, "well that's handy!"

Doug asks, "how did we decide on this game to play?"

smartgenes says, "if only learning a language was so quick"

inky says, "DavidW suggested it"

DavidW says (to Doug), "I suggested it."

Doug says, "cool"

DavidW says, "There was a recent review on ifdb."

Doug says, "ah"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "ask computer about life"

Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "um, shouldn't we unlock the hatch now. with the key?"

Binder says (to Floyd), "climb chair"

Floyd | You're positively climbing up the walls.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to floyd), "stand on chair"

Floyd | You're already on it!
Floyd |

Jizaboz says, "Heh."

Binder says, "I guess we have long arms. And eyes."

inky says (to Floyd), "unlock hatch"

Floyd | What do you want to unlock the hatch with?
Floyd |

DavidW says, "You know it."

inky says (to Floyd), "key"

Floyd | Balancing precariously on the chair, you reach up and unlock the
Floyd | hatch. It swings open, and fresh air and clean light flood the room.
Floyd | Freedom beckons!
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "must be a cramped chinese room"

inky says (to Floyd), "up"

Floyd | You haul yourself up through the hatch and scramble onto the roof of
Floyd | the Chinese Room, the hatch thudding shut behind you. Escape!
Floyd |
Floyd | Getting to your feet, you are conscious of your jaw dropping wide
Floyd | open. A fantastical landscape spreads out around you in every
Floyd | direction. You turn around and around, taking in the astonishing
Floyd | sights around you -- to the north, a pretty little rural town clambers
Floyd | up the wooded hillside; on the east side wide grassy plains spread off
Floyd | into the distance, on the west side the sea does likewise, while to
Floyd | the south . . . to the south an enormous granite crag towers on the
Floyd | countryside, topped by a castle of medieval extravagance.
Floyd |
Floyd | A bright sun and blue sky blaze over everything -- in fact, all of the
Floyd | colours in this extraordinary vista have a zealous intensity. It all
Floyd | feels too, too unreal for words.
Floyd |
Floyd | Slowly, as if it were about to vanish into nothingness beneath you,
Floyd | you sit down on the roof and raise your exhausted eyes to the sky. You
Floyd | let out a small whimper. For above you, flitting happily among the
Floyd | fluffy clouds, a flock of enormous flying beasts streaming spaghetti
Floyd | soar.
Floyd |
Floyd | Roof
Floyd | The roof of the Chinese Room is flat and covered with pitch, hot under
Floyd | the sun. On the east side of the building, a ladder leads down to the
Floyd | road.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

Floyd | Huge, noodly and terrifying, the flock of Flying Spaghetti Monsters
Floyd | are playing a game of aerial volleyball with their meatballs.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to floyd), "l"

Floyd | Roof
Floyd | The Chinese Room, you have discovered, is in the centre of a
Floyd | fantastical world, on a road leading north to woods and a hillside
Floyd | village and south to a cragtop castle. Wide plains spread out to the
Floyd | east, grassy dunes and a strip of sand border an ocean to the west,
Floyd | and above you Flying Spaghetti Monsters gambol in the updrafts. The
Floyd | roof of the Chinese Room is flat and covered with pitch, hot under the
Floyd | sun. On the east side of the building, a ladder leads down to the
Floyd | road.
Floyd |

Binder says, "ha"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pray"

Floyd | God is dead.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Heh"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about nietzsche"

Floyd | Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) was a German critical philosopher.
Floyd | Using highly artistic prose and an aphrositic style, he wrote
Floyd | critiques of the religion, morality, philosophy and society of the
Floyd | time, developing over the years a distinctive set of positions which
Floyd | helped pave the way for later post-modern critical philosophies.
Floyd |

Floyd | You shimmy down the ladder onto the road.
Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | Well, you can only be thankful that there aren't two legs sticking out
Floyd | from under the hut, and that the crowds of tiny people appear to have
Floyd | neglected to lay on a welcome party.
Floyd |
Floyd | There is, however, a scarecrow.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "think about monsters"

Floyd | The Invisible Pink Unicorn, like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is a
Floyd | popular satirical religious entity. While their use has now expanded
Floyd | to encompass all manner of religious satire, the original purpose was
Floyd | to point out a common fallacy regarding religious belief and burden of
Floyd | proof.
Floyd |
Floyd | It has been argued that atheism is an untenable philosophical
Floyd | position, as one cannot give a watertight proof for the non-existence
Floyd | of a religious entity: how would it be possible to prove that a god
Floyd | does not exist? One can only give incomplete arguments in favour of a
Floyd | god's non-existence, and so certain atheism is impossible.
Floyd |
Floyd | The question asked by the IPU is then, "Well, does that mean that it's
Floyd | perfectly justifiable for me to believe in an invisible pink unicorn
Floyd | orbiting Saturn? No-one's ever seen it, but I believe in it, and it's
Floyd | impossible for you to definitively disprove its existence." Given the
Floyd | intuitive ridiculousness of believing in the IPU without evidence,
Floyd | this response serves to shift the ground of the debate away from
Floyd | requiring atheists to prove an entity's existence with certainty. One
Floyd | implication is that we ought not to be looking for certainty, but
Floyd | rather for good arguments for likely beliefs; another stronger
Floyd | atheistic response is to use this thought experiment to claim that the
Floyd | burden of proof for religious entities lies not with the atheist for
Floyd | disproving existence but rather the believer for proving existence.
Floyd | The question of who holds the burden of proof has become a thorny
Floyd | debate.
Floyd |

Binder says (to Floyd), "x scarecrow"

Floyd | Gawky, stuffed, adorned with a fixed expression and with a broom
Floyd | handle rammed up its backside. You'd think it were a member of the
Floyd | Royal Family if it weren't for the silly hat and cast-off clothing.
Floyd | No, wait, hang on . . .
Floyd |
Floyd | In any case, you rather wish all that sacking had been put to better
Floyd | use than as a body for this wretched thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | You jump back as the scarecrow rustles its arms and says, "Aren't you
Floyd | going to say hello then?"
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Kind of conflating the IPU with the celestial teapot there."

Floyd | (Because you've always wanted a chance to justifiably say "yonder",
Floyd | and if this isn't it then by Godot nothing ever will be.)
Floyd |
Floyd | "Now that's just a little village," says the scarecrow. "Now, I've
Floyd | never been there, but I do hear it's a pretty exciting place, with all
Floyd | sorts for a young adventurer like yourself to do. But is there
Floyd | anything else you want to know before you go?"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What lies east?
Floyd | [2] What lies west?
Floyd | [3] You're not going to start singing about whiling away the hours,
Floyd | conferring with the flowers, are you?
Floyd | [4] I think I'll just go, actually.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Now them's the wide, wide plains, where they do say the unicorns
Floyd | roam." The scarecrow waves his arms about vaguely, the two
Floyd | badly-stuffed sackcloth sticks not really up to the task of describing
Floyd | the expanse. "But I'm willing to wager that a nice young adventurer
Floyd | like you don't believe in unicorns, so I guess you'll be wanting to
Floyd | ask about something else."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] No, what was that about unicorns?
Floyd | [2] You're not going to start singing about whiling away the hours,
Floyd | conferring with the flowers, are you?
Floyd | [3] I think I'll just go, actually.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Well I don't know nothing about them, excepting that they's both pink
Floyd | and invisible, so I hear, but it's bad luck to talk about them so you
Floyd | just ask me something else," says the scarecrow sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] You're not going to start singing about whiling away the hours,
Floyd | conferring with the flowers, are you?
Floyd | [2] I think I'll just go, actually.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Now I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, though I do
Floyd | flatter myself I have a splendid singing voice. You like to hear?"
Floyd |
Floyd | Without waiting for a response, the scarecrow bursts into a raucous
Floyd | rendition of "I Will Survive". One of you at least certainly won't
Floyd | unless you interrupt him quickly.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Shut up!
Floyd | [2] No, I think I'll just go, actually!
Floyd |

Floyd | "Right you are, then! You just come back if you want to know anything
Floyd | else." He starts to hum quietly to himself, which is only slightly
Floyd | less irritating than his talking.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "ask scarecrow about dorothy"

Floyd | Just TALK TO them.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to smartgenes), "you fight like a dairy-farmer."

DavidW says, "moo-ving on"

smartgenes says, "don't milk it"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "think about scarecrow"

Floyd | Examining the scarecrow reveals two rather odd things about it: while
Floyd | acting with at least the appearance a conscious entity, it appears to
Floyd | be operated internally by a horde of homunculi, and operated
Floyd | externally by radio signals from China.
Floyd |
Floyd | It thus seems to be conflating two thought experiments in philosophy
Floyd | of mind: both Homunculi-Man and China-Brain. Homunculi-Man behaves
Floyd | like an ordinary person, but his brain consists of a huge operating
Floyd | station operated by millions of tiny people replicating the processes
Floyd | of a brain. China-Brain is controlled externally by the entire nation
Floyd | of China, which has organised its people to replicate the functions of
Floyd | the brain: instead of neurones firing, the people of China carry
Floyd | messages to each other and manipulate data, relaying the results in
Floyd | radio signals to the person whose brain is being operated.
Floyd |
Floyd | Both arguments seek to debunk a position known as "functionalism"
Floyd | which holds that if two things hold the same function, or function in
Floyd | exactly the same way, then they are to all purposes the same thing. In
Floyd | philosophy of mind, this means that if something operates like a mind
Floyd | -- turns the same inputs into the same outputs, then it really is a
Floyd | mind. Homunculi-Man and China-Brain seem to show that something is
Floyd | missing from this picture -- this is usually argued to be
Floyd | "consciousness".
Floyd |
Floyd | "Consciousness" can come to be thought of as what is missing from
Floyd | China-Brain. What could that be? What is it that we think of the mind
Floyd | as having that we think China-Brain -- or, less wildly, a robot with
Floyd | artificial intelligence -- lacks? The ability to feel? The ability to
Floyd | actually experience the senses subjectively (having "qualia"), rather
Floyd | than simply responding to sensory input? Or is consciousness in this
Floyd | sense illusory? Or is it something else that's missing from the
Floyd | picture of China-Brain?
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I'm thinking south to the castle would be my first choice."

Jizaboz says, "Sounds good."

inky says (to Floyd), "x scarecrow"

Floyd | Gawky, stuffed, adorned with a fixed expression and with a broom
Floyd | handle rammed up its backside. You'd think it were a member of the
Floyd | Royal Family if it weren't for the silly hat and cast-off clothing.
Floyd | No, wait, hang on . . .
Floyd |
Floyd | In any case, you rather wish all that sacking had been put to better
Floyd | use than as a body for this wretched thing.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x hat"

Floyd | It looks like someone took a bunch of straw with em on an LSD trip and
Floyd | then threw the result under an elephant.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "get hat"

Floyd | That's not the part of the scarecrow you're interested in.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "get sacking"

Floyd | You're about to wrench the scarecrow's pole from the ground to take
Floyd | him with you when it starts humming, and you suddenly think better of
Floyd | it.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "get clothing"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's not the part of the scarecrow you're interested in.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Ignoring the scarecrow's warning, you confidently stride southward --
Floyd | or make to, because instead of confidently striding southward you fall
Floyd | flat on your face, cracking your nose off the tarmac.
Floyd |
Floyd | Grimacing with pain and spitting grit from your teeth, you try to
Floyd | crawl to your feet but find yourself strangely incapacitated. Rolling
Floyd | onto your back, you see why -- a tiny little woman, now sitting on
Floyd | your knee, has tied your shoelaces together. Reaching down to undo her
Floyd | handiwork, you find that, with near invisible speed, she has jumped
Floyd | onto your aching nose and nutted you right between the eyes. You fall
Floyd | back with a resigned oof.
Floyd |
Floyd | "I did warn you now," says the scarecrow. "I reckon it's safe for you
Floyd | to untie those shoes, now, Anjeline."
Floyd |
Floyd | As you get gingerly to your feet, you catch a flash of Anjeline's
Floyd | underskirts as she scrambles up the scarecrow's pole and into his
Floyd | stuffing.
Floyd |

inky says, "buh"

inky says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You're not going to be able to go south just yet, not while Anjeline's
Floyd | eyeing you suspiciously from under the scarecrow's hat.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You walk along the road towards the village. It's only a short
Floyd | distance, but this direct and precise road makes it seem like quite a
Floyd | trek, with the sight of the village always straight ahead of you,
Floyd | getting bigger by excruciating degrees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Eventually, though, you reach the first few village houses.
Floyd | Yellow-thatched and cross-timbered, they cluster around the road like
Floyd | groups of schoolchildren on a picnic day. And, indeed, there are
Floyd | children playing games outside, -- the girls in pink blouses and the
Floyd | boys in blue britches -- laughing and clapping and throwing hoops at
Floyd | each other. You try not to listen to the actual words of the games
Floyd | which, where children are concerned, you find, tend to be more truly
Floyd | horrifying than anything the best gothic authors could dream up.
Floyd |
Floyd | Something strange, you realise, has happened to the road. Without you
Floyd | noticing, it's switched from that black tarmac to a rutted country
Floyd | cartway. Then, looking up at the buildings as you walk further into
Floyd | the village, you see no more quaint cross-timbering but rather -- a
Floyd | modern pavement caf?? A bar, the word "drink" etched in fashionable
Floyd | lower-case letters on the window glass? Looking down, you see the road
Floyd | has changed again into a paved street. Looking up -- there's a maid in
Floyd | a peasant blouse pulling at a water pump! The bar has become a
Floyd | ramshackle country tavern!
Floyd |
Floyd | Blink. A medieval market village. Blink. A modern cosmpolitan town.
Floyd | Blink. Both at once?
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mind can't fix on a single image of the village. It seems to be
Floyd | every different thing at once, as and when needed. The maid, now in a
Floyd | crisp business suit, carries her wooden water pail into a barber shop,
Floyd | whose red and white striped pole sticks straight out of a dry stone
Floyd | wall. A man in peasant garb emerges from a building with the words
Floyd | "Cartesian Theatre" emblazoned above the door in neon letters. And the
Floyd | church's spire oscillates between a stone tower, a verdigris spire,
Floyd | and a concrete minaret.
Floyd |
Floyd | You shake your head furiously, as if this will make reality fix
Floyd | itself. You feel terribly ill.
Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "slower"

Binder says, "it's so very very texty"

DavidW asks, "Who was Anjeline?"

Binder says, "an accomplice of the Scarecrow"

inky says, "she is apparently one of the homunculi living in the scarecrow"

smartgenes says, "but then again i was trying to read all that stuff at lightning speed"

DavidW says, "yeah, I missed a lot."

DavidW asks, "Why couldn't we go south?"

smartgenes says, "she headbutted us and we saw up her skirt"

Jizaboz says (to DavidW), "same here, but whatever,"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x anjeline"

Floyd | Anjeline lurks beneath the scarecrow's hat. Actually, looking more
Floyd | closely, you see several more pairs of little eyes alongside her. With
Floyd | the scarecrow grinning at you, you walk around him, suspicious,
Floyd | noticing a tiny pair of eyes in each sackcloth nostril, several in his
Floyd | sackcloth mouth, and a horde beneath his straw hat. As you come behind
Floyd | him you see that what you originally thought was a piece of straw
Floyd | poking out from behind is, in fact, a radio aerial. And there's a
Floyd | stamp on the sackcloth: "Made in China".
Floyd |

inky says, "we tried to go south and the scarecrow told us not to"

inky says, "then we tried again and fell over because she had tied our shoelaces together"

inky says (to Floyd), "get aerial"

Floyd | You reach round the back of the scarecrow and snap his aerial in two.
Floyd | His singing winds down in an electronic slur, and his whole body
Floyd | droops on the pole. There's a moment of silence, and then, one by one,
Floyd | the homunculi tumble out of his stuffing, gathering into a comatose
Floyd | heap on the ground.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

inky says, "ha ha, suckers"

Lionheart says, "Heh"

inky says (to Floyd), "get sacking"

Floyd | You grab a handful of sackcloth and give it a yank, pulling it free
Floyd | from the pole. When you empty it of straw what results is a fairly
Floyd | serviceable sack, which you fling nonchalantly over your shoulder.
Floyd |

Ellison says, "my homunculus girlfriend's in a coma"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "dismantle scarecrow"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "We have a sack now?"

smartgenes says, "that was the command in a game i played years ago.. DISMANTLE SCARECROW.. the only one it accepted"

inky says, "I don't think I've referred to anything that hasn't been mentioned earlier but there is a lot of text going by"

Lionheart can see a dream in your dance. Lionheart can see tomorrow in your dance. We can call it, "our hope"!

DavidW says, "I hope the text rate settles down a bit."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x heap"

Floyd | A pile of tiny unconscious people, who presumably have been acting as
Floyd | the scarecrow's brain on radio instructions from China. Presumably. It
Floyd | takes a special kind of mind to presume something like that, but a
Floyd | philosophy undergraduate certainly has one.
Floyd |

zarf says, "I am doubtful :)"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x scarecrow"

Floyd | The scarecrow, now totally inanimate, and with his sacking torn away,
Floyd | droops folornly on his pole, while his comatose homunculi lie in a
Floyd | heap beneath him.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sack"

Floyd | (the sack)
Floyd | A very large sack, still with a few strands of straw stuck in the
Floyd | bottom.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get sack"

Floyd | (the sack)
Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "wear sack"

Floyd | (the sack)
Floyd | You can't wear that!
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I suppose we could go south now, but there's probably a reason why we shouldn't."

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says, "okey doke"

inky says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get straw"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "verbose"

Floyd | The Chinese Room is now in its "verbose" mode, which always gives long
Floyd | descriptions of locations (even if you've been there before).
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x pump"

Floyd | You walk up to the water pump in the middle of the street. As you
Floyd | approach, the gaggles of carters and fishwives clustered around it
Floyd | look at you and start gossipping furiously.
Floyd |
Floyd | The pump itself is made of polished and riveted steel, with a gleaming
Floyd | handle. There is a brass plaque on it which reads "Intuition Pump
Floyd | 3000".
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the maid went into the barber shop"

smartgenes says, "with a bucket"

inky says (to Floyd), "think about pump"

Floyd | "Intuition Pump" is a term popularised by the philospher Daniel
Floyd | Dennett to describe, somewhat pejoratively, philosophy thought
Floyd | experiments. All thought experiments, claims Dennett, are written in
Floyd | order to get us to pump out a particular intuition, to get us to think
Floyd | a particular thing determined by the set-up of the experiment. They're
Floyd | not true experiments, where what's interesting is to find out what
Floyd | result we'll get from the set-up, but rather rhetorical devices.
Floyd | Sometimes they can provide useful analogies, but it's always
Floyd | important, says Dennett, to look at the set-up of the intuition pump
Floyd | and make sure it's a good analogy, and that we're not being
Floyd | manipulated into pumping out an intuition we would't otherwise agree
Floyd | with.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "pump pump"

Floyd | You must supply a second noun.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "pump pump with hands"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to pump the water pump.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x carter"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x carters"

Floyd | You wonder what the collective noun for fishwives and carters is.
Floyd | Whatever it may be, this is certainly one of them.
Floyd |

zarf says (to floyd), "pump pump pump"

Floyd | You must supply a second noun.
Floyd |

zarf says, "heh"

Binder says, ">pump pump revolution"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump up the jam"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to pump the up.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "pump pump into sack"

inky says, "as ebert would say, rumpy-pumpy"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "pump intuition"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "pump sack"

Floyd | You must supply a second noun.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "pump pump into sack"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to pump the water pump.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "we could pull handle and let all the water out"

inky says (to Floyd), "x church"

Floyd | It's as if the designer had aimed the architecture at quaint,
Floyd | overshot, and gone straight through and out the other side into a
Floyd | strange uncharted territory beyond twee. Cherubs feature.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "talk to gossip"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "enter church"

Floyd |
Floyd | Church
Floyd | You step inside the church and are hit by a blast of pure serenity.
Floyd | The church appears to have made up its mind about its own interior,
Floyd | plumping for a simple majesty in stone and wood. As the door creaks
Floyd | gracefully closed behind you, you survey your surroundings: the oak
Floyd | pews lining the nave, the beautiful arched stone roof, the carved
Floyd | pulpit at the head of the church and, behind it, an enormous tapestry
Floyd | depicting -- nothing?
Floyd |
Floyd | In one of the pews a woman in full bridal gear sits, weeping to
Floyd | herself. The priest, standing by the pulpit, is looking at her very
Floyd | awkwardly.
Floyd |

inky says, "this game is pretty big"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pray"

Floyd | God is dead.
Floyd |

inky says, "if there are these four rooms off this room, plus the four rooms off the scarecrow room"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x tapestry"

Floyd | A monumental effort. It must have taken weeks of work to weave such a
Floyd | weight of white.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), " x priest"

Floyd | He's dressed in severe black lightened only by a peculiar pink collar.
Floyd | There's an evangelical zeal in his eyes and a furry caterpillar on his
Floyd | top lip. It might be a moustache.
Floyd |

Floyd | She's like a very damp pile of meringues, and she's getting damper by
Floyd | the second. She wipes her nose and eyes with a sodden veil.
Floyd |
Floyd | A man steps into the church, removes his cycle clips in awkward
Floyd | reverence, and walks up the centre of the aisle. He sinks to his knees
Floyd | in front of the tapestry, and brings a clenched hand up to his brow.
Floyd | Loosening the fist, he draws his hand forward and up, fully extending
Floyd | his arm, as if tracing the outline of something extending from his
Floyd | forehead. He brings his hand up and down the length several times,
Floyd | getting more and more rapid, before letting out a small cry, dropping
Floyd | his arms, standing up, bowing and hurriedly leaving the building, the
Floyd | oak doors swinging to behind him.
Floyd |

inky says, "I guess that is an IPU worshipper"

smartgenes says, "nice random event"

DavidW asks, "a what?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get clips"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says, "invisible pink unicorn"

Lionheart says, "The tapestry would be a picture of the IPU then"

DavidW asks, "how... how are you extrapolating that?"

smartgenes asks, "what's an IPU?"

Lionheart says, "Invisible Pink Unicorn, I thought we explained that"

Binder says, "it was an infodump from thinking about monsters"

smartgenes says, "i didn't see that"

inky says (to DavidW), "well, we know the IPU exists in the world"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get unicorn"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says, "and it said the guy was pretending to trace something extending forth from his forehead"

Floyd | "The Invisible Pink Unicorn (Blessed Be Her Holy Hooves) is the
Floyd | supreme deity, mistress of all in heaven and earth, creator of time
Floyd | and space, and trotter along the High Plains!" His arms raise up to
Floyd | the ceiling and his whole body vibrates with a sing-song zeal.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Er . . . right . . . And you believe that, do you?
Floyd | [2] That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Um, Equine savior"

Lionheart says, "She doesn't ride unicorns, she is a unicorn"

Jizaboz asks, "1?"

DavidW says, "you guys jumped ahead. I haven't played this game before, y'know."

inky says, "maybe she is an equestrian savior because the saved get to ride her"

inky says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "I believe, for only She can protect me from the Purple Oyster (Of
Floyd | Doom)," he says, sounding the final word like a foghorn on an iceberg.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] You are truly insane.
Floyd | [2] Um, OK. Look, I'm struggling a bit here. What evidence do you base
Floyd | your faith on?
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Oh yeah, maybe she saves equestrians."

smartgenes says, "no i kinda got that too.. with the spaghetti monster and stufff earlier"

inky says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "No, unbeliever, you don't understand! Have you proved that She does
Floyd | not exist? No, no, thrice no! The burden of proof, my young friend, is
Floyd | on you."
Floyd |
Floyd | As he speaks you suddenly feel a heavy weight drag your neck down.
Floyd | Grappling at your throat, you loop over your head a lengthy leather
Floyd | thong at the end of which hangs a mysterious weight. The priest grins
Floyd | broadly at you, and suddenly the candlelit church appears dark and
Floyd | threatening. You hear thunder rumble outside, and with a backward
Floyd | glance stumble out of the doors.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "uh, did we get a literal 'burden' in our inventory, there?"

smartgenes says, "i studied philosophy, it's a real position, which it talked about earlier, if you managed to read it during all the blurb"

Floyd | A weighty matter, made of weighty matter. It hangs about your neck on
Floyd | a leather thong, but you wish it would hang about somewhere else, like
Floyd | a nice bar or a street corner. Whenever you speak it hangs on your
Floyd | every word, lusting after some token of truth, but, similarly, you
Floyd | wish it would just hang on something else. It can go hang itself,
Floyd | basically.
Floyd |

Binder says, "evidently"

DavidW says, "(I remember something similar in Pilgrim's Progress.)"

DavidW says, "(except there it was our sins burdening us, I think)"

Lionheart says, "Hah, cute"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "ride unicorn"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put burden on itself"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put burden on burden"

Floyd | You can't put something on top of itself.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "remove burden"

Floyd | You're not wearing that.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put burden on nothing"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "drop burden"

Floyd | Dropped.
Floyd |

Binder says (to Floyd), "drop burden"

Floyd | The Burden of Proof is already here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hmm"

inky says, "well, that was easy"

DavidW says, "huh"

DavidW says, "I didn't think that would work."

djfletch asks, "can we go and hang it on the priest?"

Lionheart says, "Huh, I didn't think it would be that easy to dispose of"

smartgenes says, "lol"

DavidW says (to djf), "oh, I like that idea."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kick burden"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

Jizaboz says (to clubfloyd), "Yeah I thought of that"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take burden"

Floyd | (putting the manual into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to djf), "please enter the church and try it."

smartgenes says, "hmm intelligent inventory-control"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "enter church"

Floyd | There's no way you're going back in there just now. Besides, every
Floyd | time you go near a massive rumble of thunder breaks across the sky,
Floyd | despite there not being a cloud in sight. If that's not the world
Floyd | trying to give you a hint then nothing is.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "is that a plugin?"

djfletch says, "bah"

djfletch says, "maybe we can use it on someone else sometime"

Jizaboz says, "Oh well."

DavidW says (to smartgenes), "It's a player's holdall; standard."

Lionheart says, "That thunder is just the IPUs stampeding in the clouds."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "climb church"

Floyd | You're positively climbing up the walls.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "What other buildings can we enter?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about sartre"

Floyd | Jean Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980) was a pioneering French existentialist,
Floyd | socialist, public intellectual and literary writer, and has since
Floyd | become an icon of philosophy and black coffee. His thought centred
Floyd | around concepts of free will and life-defining choice -- he claimed
Floyd | that individuals create the meaning of their own lives.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about kant"

Floyd | Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804) was one of the most influential thinkers
Floyd | writing towards the end of the Enlightenment. Writing on metaphysics,
Floyd | ethics, aesthetics and politics, he ushered in a new critical way of
Floyd | approaching philosophy, founded not only on rigorous rationalism, but
Floyd | also, most importantly, on the division of the discursively-produced
Floyd | "world of appearances" (as it appears to consciousness) and the "world
Floyd | in itself (as it is independent of consciosuness). His philosophy
Floyd | defined the terms of the debate which has followed ever since. It's
Floyd | also famed for being some of the densest and most impenetrably-written
Floyd | of philosophy -- which probably only serves to enhance its reputation
Floyd | due to the small number of people who actually understand it.
Floyd |

Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "the philosophy football sketch?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about socrates"

Floyd | Socrates (c. 470 BC - c. 399 BC) was an early Greek philosopher, the
Floyd | teacher of Aristotle, who founded many of the subjects and methods of
Floyd | Western philosophy. The Socratic method of constant and persistent
Floyd | questioning of assumptions remains a driving force of philosophy. He
Floyd | wrote down none of his own philosophy, and so his works and (highly
Floyd | dramatic) life are known to us only through his pupils, especially
Floyd | Plato, his contemporaries, and historians.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "think about hegel"

Floyd | Georg Hegel (1770 - 1831) was one of the most important of the German
Floyd | idealists. Writing on culture and politics, he developed a particular
Floyd | dialectical philosophy, a philosophy of progress, with influential
Floyd | thoughts on freedom, art, history and morality.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Well, logically, you can't be both invisible and pink"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about plato"

Floyd | Plato (428 - 348 BC) was an ancient Greek philosopher, who began
Floyd | relaying the philosophy of his teacher, Socrates, in a series of
Floyd | written dialogues, before developing his own. A founder of idealism
Floyd | (in politics, metaphysics, ethics, aesthetics and just about
Floyd | everything else), he taught in his turn Aristotle, whose reputation
Floyd | eventually grew to eclipse his own during the Middle Ages, before a
Floyd | Renaissance rediscovery of Plato.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Therefore, the IPU cannot exist, QED"

inky says, "I imagine we will have to shift the burden of proof onto someone else"

Floyd |
Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | A willowy young server stands behind the kiosk, smiling in a way that
Floyd | makes you want to know her better.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Lionheart), "Surely that depends. The Invisible Woman is a blonde."

inky says (to Floyd), "talk to server"

Floyd | You smile at the server and say, "Hello".
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hello," she replies.
Floyd |
Floyd | Well, that's that off to a good start.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Do you serve here often?
Floyd | [2] What time do you finish?
Floyd | [3] Can I have your phone number?
Floyd | [4] What's for lunch?
Floyd |

djfletch says, "if the IPU puts the burden of proof about god onto the believer, then logically we have to think of something more ridiculous than the IPU and tell the priest about that"

Floyd | The Invisible Pink Unicorn, like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is a
Floyd | popular satirical religious entity. While their use has now expanded
Floyd | to encompass all manner of religious satire, the original purpose was
Floyd | to point out a common fallacy regarding religious belief and burden of
Floyd | proof.
Floyd |
Floyd | It has been argued that atheism is an untenable philosophical
Floyd | position, as one cannot give a watertight proof for the non-existence
Floyd | of a religious entity: how would it be possible to prove that a god
Floyd | does not exist? One can only give incomplete arguments in favour of a
Floyd | god's non-existence, and so certain atheism is impossible.
Floyd |
Floyd | The question asked by the IPU is then, "Well, does that mean that it's
Floyd | perfectly justifiable for me to believe in an invisible pink unicorn
Floyd | orbiting Saturn? No-one's ever seen it, but I believe in it, and it's
Floyd | impossible for you to definitively disprove its existence." Given the
Floyd | intuitive ridiculousness of believing in the IPU without evidence,
Floyd | this response serves to shift the ground of the debate away from
Floyd | requiring atheists to prove an entity's existence with certainty. One
Floyd | implication is that we ought not to be looking for certainty, but
Floyd | rather for good arguments for likely beliefs; another stronger
Floyd | atheistic response is to use this thought experiment to claim that the
Floyd | burden of proof for religious entities lies not with the atheist for
Floyd | disproving existence but rather the believer for proving existence.
Floyd | The question of who holds the burden of proof has become a thorny
Floyd | debate.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "prove ipu"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "two authors"

Binder says, "hm, thorny debate"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "z"

Floyd | Time passes. Or at least, loiters around for a while longer.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Yeah, I hmmed at that as well, it's not thorny at all"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server is clattering away in the kitchen behind the kiosk, making
Floyd | loud sweary noises.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x kiosk"

Floyd | It's built from the same simple-yet-elegant brushed steel as the
Floyd | chairs, and it stands outside a building which presumably houses the
Floyd | kitchen and espresso machine. There's a menu tacked on the counter.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "drink coffee"

Floyd | There's nothing suitable to drink here.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "in"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "not sure if we will get the food or not"

Lionheart says, "ask waiter about food"

DavidW says, "Wait a bit more, I guess."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "ask sartre for cigarette"

Floyd | Your command falls on deaf ears. Perhaps you should TALK TO them about
Floyd | it?
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "z"

Floyd | Time passes. Or at least, loiters around for a while longer.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Didn't our server leave?"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "ask waiter for food"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go kitchen"

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "call waiter"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "server, not waiter"

djfletch says, "she's busy cooking the food"

Lionheart says, "Same diff, it probably has the synonym"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "z"

Floyd | Time passes. Or at least, loiters around for a while longer.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server is clattering away in the kitchen behind the kiosk, making
Floyd | loud sweary noises.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Do we want to try leaving and returning?"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "go behind kiosk"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x kiosk"

Floyd | It's built from the same simple-yet-elegant brushed steel as the
Floyd | chairs, and it stands outside a building which presumably houses the
Floyd | kitchen and espresso machine. There's a menu tacked on the counter.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "yeah, try somewhere else and come back later"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "enter kitchen"

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "sit on chair"

Floyd | You can sit upon your situpon, but not that.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "sit on situpon"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Lionheart asks, "Uh, what?"

DavidW says, "situpon = ass"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x situpon"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | Martin Heidegger (1889 - 1976) was one of the founders of
Floyd | phenomenology, the critical philosophy which, roughly speaking,
Floyd | explores the holistically-located meaning and being of things, rather
Floyd | than the analytically-defined nature of things. Whatever that means.
Floyd | He helped usher in the academic divide between "Continental" and
Floyd | "Anglo-American" philosophy which, based on that difference, still
Floyd | exists today.
Floyd |

Floyd | David Hume (1711 - 1776) was the foremost philosopher of the Scottish
Floyd | Enlightenment. Following fellow British philosophers Locke and
Floyd | Berkeley, he popularised philosophical empiricism (as opposed to the
Floyd | rationalism of Descartes and Spinoza), and was also influential in
Floyd | thought on free will and ethics. He was an important influence on the
Floyd | thought of Immanuel Kant, whom he "woke from his dogmatic slumber" --
Floyd | Kant's work can be seen as overturning the divide between the
Floyd | rationalists and empiricists.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to smartgene), "Heh, nice try. Maybe we could then have asked the priest how he knows he exists."

Floyd | The Categorical Imperative is to "Act only according to that maxim
Floyd | whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a
Floyd | universal law." It is the key principle of Kant's deontological
Floyd | ethics, which can't really be summed up, but if they can be, they can
Floyd | be summed up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd | In order for acts to be judged on ethical grounds, they must be freely
Floyd | chosen. In order for an act to be freely chosen, it must be rationally
Floyd | chosen, as only rationality liberates us from the brute chains of
Floyd | natural causality. But in order for a choice to be rational, it must
Floyd | be universalisable -- we must be able to imagine that choice being
Floyd | made by everyone in the same situation, without undermining its own
Floyd | foundations. Thus, for example, to put it roughly, we must never
Floyd | steal, because is everyone stole no-one would be able to steal, so the
Floyd | act cannot be rationally undertaken -- it always undermines itself.
Floyd |
Floyd | That may not be entirely clear. Like much of Kant's philosophy,
Floyd | deontological ethics are hard to understand, and you're not sure
Floyd | you've remembered your studies properly. One thing sticks in your
Floyd | mind, though: according to Kant, there are no moral dilemmas in
Floyd | deontological ethics as, without having to make any calculations, the
Floyd | proper application of the Categorical Imperative will always determine
Floyd | definitively what is ethical and what is not.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "wow didnt expect that 1"

DavidW says, "I don't know all these people and terms that are being thrown around, but I imagine it'll all be useful eventually."

smartgenes says, "literally just reeling off all the people i studied"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "enter cafe"

Floyd |
Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server is clattering away in the kitchen behind the kiosk, making
Floyd | loud sweary noises.
Floyd |

Floyd | Ren? Descartes (1596 - 1650) has become known as the Father of Modern
Floyd | Philosopher. A French thinker, his philosophy was founded on sceptical
Floyd | rationalism -- he sought to determine what could be rationally proved,
Floyd | using a method of extreme scepticism in order to test his beliefs. He
Floyd | as attempting to write "as if no-one had written on these matters
Floyd | before", and so his philosophy framed a great deal of what came after
Floyd | him, ushering in an era of ahistorical analytic philosophy which
Floyd | sought to determine the truth of the world.
Floyd |

Floyd | The analogy of the cave is one of the earliest and most elegant of
Floyd | philosophical analogies. In it, Plato compares humans to prisoners
Floyd | trapped in a cave, behind whom is an enormous fire, between them and
Floyd | which is a walkway on which pass various people, animals and other
Floyd | things of the world. All the prisoners ever see is the shadow of those
Floyd | things passing along the walkway. The prisoners come to name these
Floyd | shadows, and judge each other by the quality of their naming.
Floyd |
Floyd | What Plato is trying to imply is that everything we as humans perceive
Floyd | is a representation -- and that all our reasoning is reasoning about
Floyd | these representations. Plato imagines that beyond the world of
Floyd | representations is the world of forms -- ideals of objects. Thus, for
Floyd | example, every philosopher is a pale reflection of the ideal
Floyd | philosopher in the world of forms. Thi idea of the relationship
Floyd | between ideal and representation extends into every discipline of
Floyd | philosophy for Plato -- in aesthetics, for example, we can see the pot
Floyd | a potter makes as a representation of the pot he imagined, which is
Floyd | itself a representation of the ideal pot, and which itself might be
Floyd | represented by a painting of a pot -- each step, for Plato, is a step
Floyd | away from the ideal, and for Plato philosophy became, in a sense, a
Floyd | question for the ideal forms of ideas.
Floyd |
Floyd | The analogy of the cave continues, however. Imagine a prisoner who is
Floyd | freed and who sees the light of the fire, the sun. He would be blinded
Floyd | by it, completely overcome by his enlightenment. Imagine then that he
Floyd | were forcibly chained down with the rest of the prisoners again. How
Floyd | would he fare in the naming game? Plato suggests that he'd no longer
Floyd | be able to play -- his enlightenment was such that the darkness of the
Floyd | cave would now blind him as well; enlightened, he could no longer
Floyd | dully represent the representation by naming the shadow.
Floyd |
Floyd | Platonic idealism reverberates throughout Western philosophy -- but
Floyd | this touch on ideas of enlightenment exists also in Eastern
Floyd | philosophy. How are the enlightened to reveal their knowledge to us?
Floyd | How can the enlightened represent the truth? This, perhaps, is the
Floyd | deepest question of philosophy.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Not really, though it does give us clues what might be featured in this game"

djfletch says, "I say try the tavern or the barbershop"

DavidW says, "Perhaps we ought to explore more, yes."

djfletch says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "enter tavern"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | You duck as you enter the smoky tavern (evidently smoking bans do not
Floyd | exist in thought experiments), and are greeted by an astonishing
Floyd | sight:
Floyd |
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates quietly discussing
Floyd | anarchists in Victorian literature. The only one not joining in seems
Floyd | to be Aristotle, who is sitting glumly in the corner. You also suspect
Floyd | that that was John Stuart Mill you glimpsed running east through the
Floyd | back door, clutching his stomach.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open cellar door"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "is it the cellar bar mentioned earlier/"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "play fruit machine"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

canadianpuzzler says, "Any talk-to-able philosopher should be talked to in this game. I suggest aristotle here."

djfletch says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | It's a brightly covered cabinet with "Karl Popper's FALSIFICATION
Floyd | ADVENTURE" emblazoned on it above the screen. There's a joystick, a
Floyd | button marked FIRE and a button marked START. You wonder what they
Floyd | could possibly be for.
Floyd |

Floyd | The game machine springs into life. You are controlling a
Floyd | falsification gun, moving left and right across the bottom of the
Floyd | screen, protecting the collective conscious from a marauding band of
Floyd | theories. The theories -- rendered as implausible pixelated blobs --
Floyd | are advancing slowly down the screen in.
Floyd |
Floyd | Yanking the joystick to and fro, you fire off a volley of pixelated
Floyd | falsifiers. A pixelated bullet representing the measurement of
Floyd | Mercury's orbit hits the pixelated blob representing Newtonian
Floyd | Physics, and it explodes in a shower of pixelated sparks! Reflexes
Floyd | burning, you quickly dispatch the pixelated blob representing gender
Floyd | essentialism with pixelated bullet representing a well-aimed copy of
Floyd | Foucault's History of Sexuality, while a pixelated bullet representing
Floyd | Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle does for the pixelated blob
Floyd | representing General Relativity. Suddenly the machine emits a warbling
Floyd | siren, and a pixelated missile representing dialectical materialism
Floyd | appears at the top of the screen! You fire volley after volley of
Floyd | pixelated bullets at it, but it simply absorbs your attacks as part of
Floyd | its pixelated interpretive schema. At the last moment you take cover
Floyd | behind a pixelated wall of healthy scepticism, which is sorely
Floyd | damaged, but destroys the pixelated missile! As you breathe a sigh of
Floyd | relief, taking your eyes off the screen for a moment, a second
Floyd | pixelated missile representing Freudian psychodynamic theory
Floyd | penetrates through your pixelated defences and obliterates you
Floyd | entirely.
Floyd |
Floyd | You didn't even make the high score table.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "'s Song running through my head"

smartgenes says, "oh i thought "frustration on innocent" referred to the contents of the game"

Floyd | It's a dark and lonely corner of the tavern -- and you realise that,
Floyd | while you'd previously thought it was empty, there's actually a group
Floyd | of women sitting in it, staring melancholically into their drinks. One
Floyd | of them, whom you suddenly recognise to be Elizabeth Anscombe, is
Floyd | wearing a comic headband with two antennae on springs attached. Next
Floyd | to her sits Emma Goldman, glaring fiercely across the table at an
Floyd | equally glaring Ayn Rand, while the quartet is completed by Judith
Floyd | Butler, who surveys the roistering men, making small tutting noises.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "chat up emma"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kiss emma"

Floyd | Some would consider that an invasion of personal space.
Floyd |

ParserGirl goes home.

DavidW says, "please talk to Aristotle."

Lionheart says, "This is the land of philsophy thought experiments, not physics thought experiments."

DavidW says, "I'd like to know why he's glum."

smartgenes says, "because of Alexander the Great"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to aristotle"

Floyd | You saunter over to the corner of the room where Aristotle sits, and
Floyd | he glances up at you, a hopeful look passing over his bearded
Floyd | features. When he speaks you expect it to be all Greek to you, but in
Floyd | fact he sounds more like a lower-upper-middle-class English gentleman.
Floyd | "Good day to you," he says impeccably. "Perhaps you might be able to
Floyd | help me with some small trouble?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Actually, no. I'm fed up with running errands for strange men.
Floyd | [2] It would be my pleasure.
Floyd | [3] Hmm, what do I get out of it?
Floyd |

zarf says, "I am looking back to the mud window about once every ten minutes. I don't get the impression that I'm missing much continuity"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "Well, I suppose I could see my way to parting with a rather fine
Floyd | first edition of the complete works of my mentor, Plato," he offers,
Floyd | with a tone of slight regret. "After all, if material gain is on your
Floyd | mind, then it is best to accompany it with the higher pleasures of the
Floyd | intellect."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Sounds lovely. I'll help you out
Floyd | [2] Actually, I think I'll pass.
Floyd |

Floyd | "What I mean is that I'm after a good quality wine. More precisely, my
Floyd | tastes are such that I really can't stand anything other than a bottle
Floyd | of pre-phylloxera claret."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Won't a normal claret do?
Floyd | [2] That's impossible. I'm going to leave you to your vain quest.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Ah."

canadianpuzzler says, "Not really, Zarf. there is a lot of lateral movement here, in part due to the challenge of the game and in part due to the urges of several to check the depth of the game's philosophical knowledge."

Lionheart says, "pre-phylloxera is not a word you forget seeing before"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "Capital!" he exclaims enthusiastically. "Well then, what I'm after is
Floyd | a bottle of the finest pre-phylloxera claret. Only the best for the
Floyd | old tastebuds, eh?"
Floyd |
Floyd | You stare at the old philosopher, wondering several things, most
Floyd | prominently of which is what phylloxera are, and whether they involve
Floyd | sex in any way. But Aristotle merely smiles beningly at you. "Chop
Floyd | chop!" he says, and you take your leave.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "And that word was mentioned by the server"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about aristotle"

Floyd | Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) was an ancient Greek philosopher, taught
Floyd | by Plato. He wrote on a huge range of philosophical subjects,
Floyd | including disciplines like physics and biology which later grew into
Floyd | their own sciences. Preserved for centuries, mainly by Muslim
Floyd | scholars, his work later exercised so much influence over the
Floyd | Medieveal Christian philosophers who helped found the European
Floyd | tradition of thought that he simply became known as the Philosopher.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "And the back room, where Mill ran to, should we check in on him?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about mill"

Floyd | John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873) was a British ethical and political
Floyd | philosopher, and a public intellectual. He was the foremost proponent
Floyd | of utlitarianism, and also an early and formative theoriser of the
Floyd | liberal social state.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Logicians' Alleyway
Floyd | You wander through the back door into an alleyway and there amidst a
Floyd | pile of broken truth tables and discarded copies of the Principia
Floyd | Mathematica sit a sequiter of logicians, playing illegal logic games.
Floyd | W.V.O. Quine seems to be the ring leader.
Floyd |

Floyd | The copies of the Principia Mathematica are stacked in neat piles
Floyd | --they are being put to use as make-shift seats.
Floyd |
Floyd | You notice Boole slip a few extra beads into the game from his sleeve.
Floyd | How naughty.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "think about quine"

Floyd | Willard Van Orman Quine (1908 - 2000), as well as having the coolest
Floyd | name in the history of philosophy, was an important logician and
Floyd | linguistic philosopher of the 20th century. Attacking many of the
Floyd | dogmas of analytic philosophy, he forged new ground in the theory of
Floyd | knowledge, as well as defining crucial approaches to logical problems.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hmmm i never heard of quine"

Lionheart says, "I know of him from GEB."

Doug asks, "does Quine's book write a copy of itself when read?"

Lionheart says (to Doug), "Heh, yeah."

djfletch says (to Floyd), "x logicians"

Floyd | Playing games with coloured beads and cups amidst the truth tables sit
Floyd | a shifty-looking bunch of logicians. You think you notice Boole and
Floyd | Frege pondering over vagueness, while Kripke raises the stakes.
Floyd |

Floyd | "That's what I wanted to hear. Now listen close, here's how it works:
Floyd |
Floyd | "This is a logic game, okay -- so here's how it works: I got two beads
Floyd | in this cup -- you payin' attention? -- they might be both red, both
Floyd | blue or one of each. Under this second cup," he points to another
Floyd | upturned cup on the ground, "I got one bead which could be red, could
Floyd | be blue.
Floyd |
Floyd | "With me so far?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Yes, please continue.
Floyd | [2] Could you go over that again?
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hmm i vaguely remembe this thought experiment"

Lionheart says, "Oh, this IS shifty."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "So, kid, it's your job to figure out what colour the beads are.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Now this a logic game, not a guessing game, so we got ourselves some
Floyd | rules. First: not all the beads are blue. Second: whatever the bead is
Floyd | in the second cup, there must be at least one of the same colour in
Floyd | the first cup. Third: no red bead can be in the same cup as a blue
Floyd | bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | "So what's your bet, kid? What's in the cups?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Cup one: two blues. Cup two: one blue.
Floyd | [2] Cup one: two blues. Cup two: one red.
Floyd | [3] Cup one: one red, one blue. Cup two: one red.
Floyd | [4] Cup one: one red, one blue. Cup two: one blue.
Floyd | [5] Cup one: two reds. Cup two: one red.
Floyd | [6] Cup one: two reds. Cup two: one blue.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "oh dear"

Binder says, "all red"

smartgenes says, "undo or save makes it a bit easy"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "5"

Floyd | "Hey, you got it right, kid!. Now . . . what would you like? We got
Floyd | an invitation to a state of naturist camp, a bottle post-phylloxera
Floyd | claret, or some cruise tickets for the ship of Neurath."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I'll go for the invitation.
Floyd | [2] It's the bottle of claret for me.
Floyd | [3] Hit me with those tickets.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "clever git"

Lionheart says, "Yeah, that's not the claret we want, but it might be interesting to save and take it to see what happens"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x wine"

Floyd | The label says: "Consume within three months". This doesn't bode well
Floyd | as far as quality is concerned.
Floyd |
Floyd | A discussion between Frege and Kripke over the proper interpretation
Floyd | of the Sorites paradox becomes rather heated, but G?del soon calms
Floyd | them down.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates sensibly tackling Jungian
Floyd | personality types. The only one not joining in seems to be Aristotle,
Floyd | who is sitting glumly in the corner. In the eastern wall is the back
Floyd | door through which Mill threw himself earlier.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "give bottle to aristotle"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "give bottle to socrates"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | Kurt G?del (1906 - 1978) was an Austrian-American mathematician whose
Floyd | work on self-reference the limits of knowledge broke new ground in
Floyd | philosophy. G?del developed sound and sophisticated mathematical
Floyd | proofs that for any sufficiently complicated epistemological system,
Floyd | there would always be certain undecidable propositions --
Floyd | demonstrating effectively that knowledge is inherently self-limiting.
Floyd | His conclusions have huge repurcussions we are still struggling with
Floyd | today.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "try talking to the other people"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to godel"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to kripke"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I wonder where Mill disappeared to."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to frege"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "think about neurath"

Floyd | The Ship of Neurath is the term used by W.V.O. Quine in his decription
Floyd | of an analogy by Otto Neurath for his view of the holistic nature of
Floyd | language and scientific verification. Quine wrote, "We are like
Floyd | sailors who on the open sea must reconstruct their ship but are never
Floyd | able to start afresh from the bottom. Where a beam is taken away a new
Floyd | one must at once be put therre, and for this the rest of the ship is
Floyd | used as support. In this way, by using the old beams and driftwood the
Floyd | ship can be shaped entirely anew, but only by gradual reconstruction."
Floyd |
Floyd | The point being made is that we are never able to start a new system
Floyd | of knowledge (and thus a system of language) from the beginning --
Floyd | what we instead do is replace old known principles which we no longer
Floyd | agree with with new principles, insofar as those new principles can be
Floyd | supported by the rest of the system of knowledge. Perhaps those new
Floyd | principles will weaken another part of the system, which must then
Floyd | itself be removed and replaced. This is Quine's view of how knowledge
Floyd | progresses and language changes -- gradually, by replacing parts of
Floyd | the holistic system, rather than in huge revolutions. One of the most
Floyd | important aspects of this view is its characterisation of knowledge as
Floyd | a holistic system, rather than as a set of disconnected principles.
Floyd |
Floyd | It may or may not be complete coincidence that a strikingly similar
Floyd | analogy, known as the Ship of Theseus, is used for a completely
Floyd | different philosophical problem: that of identity. That's definitely
Floyd | worth thinking about.
Floyd |

djfletch asks, "hmm, do we have to type Godel's umlaut to talk to him?"

Lionheart says, "I didn't have to to think about him"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to kurt"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "oh yeah i have heard of Quine after all.. that's why i didn't get a better grade i guess"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to godel"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Doug says (to Floyd), "talk to G?del"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "eep"

DavidW says, "That looks like G?del to me."

smartgenes says, "think about diacritical disillusionment"

Lionheart says, "This conversation cannot be engaged under the rules of formal logic."

DavidW says, "I've never been able to get my mud client to understand accented chars."

Lionheart says, "I see question marks here"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "x logicians"

Floyd | Playing games with coloured beads and cups amidst the truth tables sit
Floyd | a shifty-looking bunch of logicians. You think you notice Boole and
Floyd | Frege investigating supervaluation, while Kripke claims the jackpot.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hmm mine is not using the normal shortcuts ! is normally an accented e"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to frege"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to boole"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to kripke"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "can we play the game again?"

DavidW says, "Let's explore elsewhere."

DavidW asks (of smartgenes), "The bead game?"

Lionheart says (to smartgenes), "I didn't think to try, but that might be a way to make the game unlosable, allow replays"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to quine"

Floyd | "You want to give it another shot?" asks Quine.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Does E equal M times the square of C?
Floyd | [2] Is the holy ghost the underdog of the trinity?
Floyd | [3] Does a mobius strip have only one side?
Floyd | [4] No -- I've had enough disappointment for one adventure.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Aha"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "You've probably got the formulae by now," says Quine. "So I got three
Floyd | cups this time. One on the left, one in the middle and one on the
Floyd | right. There's one bead in each of them. Each bead is either red or
Floyd | blue. And we got us some rules again:
Floyd |
Floyd | "Rule one: no red bead can be to the left of a blue bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Rule two: no blue bead can be in a cup next to a cup with another
Floyd | blue bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Rule three: there is at least one blue bead and one red bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | "So, what colour beads are in what cup?
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Left cup: red; middle cup: red; right cup: red.
Floyd | [2] Left cup: red; middle cup: red; right cup: blue.
Floyd | [3] Left cup: red; middle cup: blue; right cup: red.
Floyd | [4] Left cup: red; middle cup: blue; right cup: blue.
Floyd | [5] Left cup: blue; middle cup: blue; right cup: blue.
Floyd | [6] Left cup: blue; middle cup: blue; right cup: red.
Floyd | [7] Left cup: blue; middle cup: red; right cup: red.
Floyd | [8] Left cup: blue; middle cup: red; right cup: blue.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "what do the mobius strip etc conversation threads end up with? just red herrings?"

Floyd | This a file of administrative forms that have reached the highest
Floyd | level of bureaucratic perfection. In order to complete them they must
Floyd | be signed by the relevant officials, who will only sign the form if
Floyd | they are presented with the very same form already signed.
Floyd |
Floyd | A loud cheer comes from the game as Turing elegantly solves a
Floyd | particularly difficult problem.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Heh."

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to turing"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

Binder LAUGHS at the form description

smartgenes says, "form of forms"

djfletch asks, "shall we try talking to the other people inside?"

DavidW says, "sure"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates childishly pondering over
Floyd | Da Vinci Code conspiracy theories. The only one not joining in seems
Floyd | to be Aristotle, who is sitting glumly in the corner. In the eastern
Floyd | wall is the back door through which Mill threw himself earlier.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Let's collect as many prizes as we vcan"

DavidW says, "Although, I'd like cruise tickets too, eventually."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to plato"

Floyd | Plato beckons you closer, his breathe steeped in whisky. "I have
Floyd | hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning," he
Floyd | confides, before staggering off, apparently forgetting who you are.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "follow plato"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "give forms to plato"

Floyd | Plato doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to socrates"

Floyd | Raising his glass up high, Socrates toasts, "Bad men live that they
Floyd | may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live."
Floyd | This is greeted with a hearty chorus of "I'll drink to that!"
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x socrates"

Floyd | Socrates seems to be drinking a little too much novelty hemlock
Floyd | flavoured liquour, and is a few stages beyond squiffy.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "x women"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "x booth"

Floyd | It's a dark and lonely corner of the tavern -- and you realise that,
Floyd | while you'd previously thought it was empty, there's actually a group
Floyd | of women sitting in it, staring melancholically into their drinks. One
Floyd | of them, whom you suddenly recognise to be Elizabeth Anscombe, is
Floyd | wearing a comic headband with two antennae on springs attached. Next
Floyd | to her sits Emma Goldman, glaring fiercely across the table at an
Floyd | equally glaring Ayn Rand, while the quartet is completed by Judith
Floyd | Butler, who surveys the roistering men, making small tutting noises.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "talk to anscombe"

Floyd | The women look at you. "Hello," says Anscombe. "We were having a
Floyd | girls" night out." Never before has the phrase been delivered with
Floyd | such implacable mourning.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Were? What happened?
Floyd | [2] Well, you lot are glum. Why aren't you joining the fun?
Floyd | [3] Mind if I join you ladies for a drink?
Floyd |

Floyd | "They have entrenched themselves within a political binary through
Floyd | which they define themselves by opposition to the Other," chips in
Floyd | Butler.
Floyd |
Floyd | "They had a punch-up," adds Anscombe.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Ooh, a bitch fight. Who won?
Floyd | [2] What about?
Floyd | [3] So why didn't you just leave them to it and join the rest of the
Floyd | party here?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "She started spouting off about the dynamism of the revolution --"
Floyd | starts Rand.
Floyd |
Floyd | "-- It is easier to condemn than to think," Goldman butts in.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Shut up and finish your drinks before I clunk your heads together,"
Floyd | concludes Anscombe.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Why didn't you just leave them to it and join the rest of the
Floyd | party here?
Floyd | [2] Oh dear. I think I'll just leave now.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "If we were going to give the burden to anyone, it would be one of the logicians"

Lionheart says, "Anyone here, I mean"

smartgenes asks, "quine has gone?"

DavidW says, "Quine is east."

smartgenes says, "ok"

Lionheart says, "I'm amused by the idea of giving it to Godel now"

DavidW says, "There's the main tavern and an alley out back."

smartgenes says, "i think we needed the cruise thingamyjig"

djfletch says, "we've talked to everyone in here I think - go back east if you like"

DavidW says, "There's also the barbershop and forest and so on."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "exits"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "go get the maid"

DavidW says, "feel free to play the game again and get another prize"

smartgenes says, "and then go back and eat cold beans"

DavidW says, "Or explore."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Logicians' Alleyway
Floyd | You wander through the back door into an alleyway and there amidst a
Floyd | pile of broken truth tables and discarded copies of the Principia
Floyd | Mathematica sit a sequiter of logicians, playing illegal logic games.
Floyd | W.V.O. Quine seems to be the ring leader.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Yes indeedy," he replies keenly. "This time I got four cups arranged
Floyd | in a line. Same shtick: cups either contain a red bead or a blue bead.
Floyd | But this time one of the cups has two beads. You gots to guess which
Floyd | one. Rules are:
Floyd |
Floyd | "Rule one: the cup with two beads is immediately to the left of a cup
Floyd | containing a red bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Rule two: no cup containing one blue bead is immediately adjacent to
Floyd | a cup containing one blue bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Rule three: there is only one red bead.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] The leftmost cup.
Floyd | [2] The cup left of centre.
Floyd | [3] The cup right of centre.
Floyd | [4] The rightmost cup.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "ok i did the philosophy, someone do the crazy game"

Lionheart asks, "so #3?"

djfletch says, "I think blue, 2 blues, red, blue so #2"

Lionheart says (to dj), "That's what I was thinking, so #3."

Binder says, "2."

DavidW says, "You'rechoosing the cup with 2 beads"

Lionheart says, "Oh right"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "Amazing! Unfortunately, I only got one prize left -- the cruise
Floyd | tickets for the Ship of Neurath."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

Binder says, "yay points"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf3"

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 11 out of a possible 100 in 254 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

Floyd | Logicians' Alleyway
Floyd | You wander through the back door into an alleyway and there amidst a
Floyd | pile of broken truth tables and discarded copies of the Principia
Floyd | Mathematica sit a sequiter of logicians, playing illegal logic games.
Floyd | W.V.O. Quine seems to be the ring leader.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates drunkenly investigating
Floyd | several meanings of the word Kafkaesque. The only one not joining in
Floyd | seems to be Aristotle, who is sitting glumly in the corner. In the
Floyd | eastern wall is the back door through which Mill threw himself
Floyd | earlier.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "enter cafe"

Floyd |
Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server is clattering away in the kitchen behind the kiosk, making
Floyd | loud sweary noises.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Didn't the scarecrow tells us that ipus are out east of him? If we go there, perhaps we can prove or disprove them"

DavidW says, "Or get gored by them."

djfletch says, "hah"

djfletch says, "worth a try though"

Lionheart says, "Well, the theater person is waiting for us to disprove em"

Floyd | You could pop your head into the kitchen and admire her from behind as
Floyd | she cooks, but you rather fear what would happen if she spotted you.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

Binder says, "ah, fear trumping temptation."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go barbershop"

Floyd |
Floyd | Barbershop
Floyd | Inside, the barbershop is clean, and smells pleasantly of cloves and
Floyd | soap. As you enter, the barber turns to you, brandishing magnificent
Floyd | moustachios, and beams. "Have a seat!" he cries, "Have a seat! I shall
Floyd | be with you in two snips of a flea's whiskers!"
Floyd |
Floyd | You sit down on a wooden bench, somewhat overcome, and look around
Floyd | you. A small stand by the bench has complimentary phials of dye. The
Floyd | walls are covered with pictures of extraordinarily-coiffured models of
Floyd | all ages and genders, while the floor in places is ankledeep in hair.
Floyd | The room itself is spacious, and the barber is snipping away happily
Floyd | at his client -- who, you suddenly realise, is stunningly, shiningly
Floyd | bald.
Floyd |

Binder says (to Floyd), "x client"

Floyd | Baldier than a coot and an egg combines, he sits solemnly staring at
Floyd | himself in the mirror.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh, jus' a humble little village in the middle of nowhere. But I know
Floyd | all about you, my friend!" he says
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What, how?
Floyd | [2] I might have guessed. But can't you tell me something interesting
Floyd | about this place?
Floyd | [3] Oh, really. Well, you won't mind if I just sod off then.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Jus' some gossip down the village water pump," he explains. "Which is
Floyd | always worth a visit if you need some advice, by the way."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I'll bear that in mind. But can't you tell me something
Floyd | interesting about this place?
Floyd | [2] Hmm, thanks. I might just go there now then.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "There's-a nothing to tell! But what would you like to know?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Why did I just wake up in this bizarre fantasy world?
Floyd | [2] Why does no-one seem to leave by the village road?
Floyd | [3] What's that enormous castle, south of here?
Floyd | [4] Actually, I think I'll just leave.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The barber looks at you slyly. "That's-a for me not to know and you to
Floyd | find out," he says, winking. "But it's-a probably been caused by the
Floyd | hyperreal causality of narrative metaphor propelling you through a
Floyd | tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum, caused either by a
Floyd | ladder in the tights of time or the overconsumption of psychoactive
Floyd | substances. Anything else-a you want to know?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Why does no-one seem to leave by the village road?
Floyd | [2] What's that enormous castle, south of here?
Floyd | [3] Actually, I think I'll just leave.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | The barber's arms shoot out in front of him (narrowly avoiding
Floyd | snipping the king's ear off) and he intones, "I do not know any thing
Floyd | about the castle."
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a moment of potent silence as the king looks pointedly at the
Floyd | scissors, and the barber resumes his snipping, muttering under his
Floyd | breath. You can barely make it out, but it sounds like a dire warning,
Floyd | and something about . . . a thing? A thing in itself? Enigmatic in the
Floyd | extreme
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] OK . . . I think it's time for me to go now.
Floyd |

Floyd | The barber's arms shoot out in front of him (narrowly avoiding
Floyd | snipping the king's ear off) and he intones, "I do not know any thing
Floyd | about the castle."
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a moment of potent silence as the king looks pointedly at the
Floyd | scissors, and the barber resumes his snipping, muttering under his
Floyd | breath. You can barely make it out, but it sounds like a dire warning,
Floyd | and something about . . . a thing? A thing in itself? Enigmatic in the
Floyd | extreme
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] OK . . . I think it's time for me to go now.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The barber hums loudly at your departure.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all dye"

Floyd | phial of black dye: (putting the Chinese key into the sack to make
Floyd | room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd | phial of red dye: (putting the Burden of Proof into the sack to make
Floyd | room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd | phial of white dye: (putting the lighter into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

Floyd | (first taking the Burden of Proof from the sack)
Floyd | (putting the fifty pence piece into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "So I suppose the castle is where people are getting zombified"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put all in sack"

Floyd | informative leaflet: You put the informative leaflet into the sack.
Floyd | cruise tickets for the Ship of Neurath: You put the cruise tickets for
Floyd | the Ship of Neurath into the sack.
Floyd | file of Platonic forms: You put the file of Platonic forms into the
Floyd | sack.
Floyd | invitation to the state of naturist camp: You put the invitation to
Floyd | the state of naturist camp into the sack.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all"

Floyd | That's a bit greedy. Try taking specific things.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all dye"

Floyd | phial of black dye: Taken.
Floyd | phial of red dye: The barber winks at you, "One per customer. If you
Floyd | change your mind put one back on the stand and take another.
Floyd | phial of white dye: The barber winks at you, "One per customer. If you
Floyd | change your mind put one back on the stand and take another.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about russell"

Floyd | Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) was for much of the 20th century one of
Floyd | Britain's most prominent public intellectuals, made in 1950 a Nobel
Floyd | Laureate in Literature. He was hugely important in mathematics and
Floyd | logic, was a populariser of philosopher, and was a prominent agnostic
Floyd | and pacifist. He is also notable for being the discoverer and early
Floyd | teacher of Ludwig Wittgenstein.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "hm. Only one dye at a time."

djfletch says (to Floyd), "shave barber"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Keep the black dye, in case we find a white swan"

DavidW says, "we might be able to mix pink as well."

Lionheart says, "Oh, hm"

smartgenes says, "could leave it and come back"

DavidW says, "Sure, dye's a swan black sounds plausible here."

DavidW says, "er dyeing"

Limax asks, "Have I missed most of it?"

DavidW says (to Limax), "I don't think so."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 11 out of a possible 100 in 279 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We're at 11 out of 100."

DavidW says, "We're not progressing quickly."

smartgenes says, "we are in a fantasy world filled with philosophers"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "barber, shave me"

Floyd | Just TALK TO them.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "shave barber"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Barbershop
Floyd | The barber is still here, snipping away happily at his bald client.
Floyd | You sit on the bench next to the stand of dye, waiting.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get scissors"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look under bench"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read magazine"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I think we should leave and go elsewhere."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "what happened to the maid though"

DavidW says, "dunno"

smartgenes says, "she went into the barbers"

smartgenes asks, "didnt she?"

DavidW says, "Didn't see her."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | Heading out on a track west from the village street, you soon come
Floyd | across the picturesque fairytale woods that had seemed so pleasant
Floyd | from a distance. Up close the uniformity of colour and the crude blobs
Floyd | of green on brown are somewhat unsettling.
Floyd |
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

Floyd | ". . . now listen here, don't be a dosh-garned fool," the lumberjack
Floyd | is saying as you approach, "-- of course the tree makes a sound when
Floyd | it falls down. Why, the sound permatriculates no matter who is
Floyd | listening."
Floyd |
Floyd | "I am afraid," says the Buddhist monk, evidently not at all afraid,
Floyd | "that you haven't thought this over enough. After all, how do you know
Floyd | it makes a sound if no one is there to hear it?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Can my philosophical know-how help you resolve this tricky issue?
Floyd | [2] Do you mind if I borrow that axe, Ms Lumberjack, sir?
Floyd | [3] I'm not going to get involved in further silliness. . .
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "I do not believe so," the monk says bowing his head slightly, "the
Floyd | logical net you seek to cast across the world, neither of us care for
Floyd | it -- though for different reasons I do assure you."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What reasons are these?
Floyd | [2] Look, I know the answer -- I can resolve this straight away.
Floyd | [3] Oh, never mind. . .
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "I'll tell you one good reason," the lumberjack offers, "no kind of
Floyd | philosophistrical trap-clap will convince me that a falling tree don't
Floyd | make no sound. Now let me tell you one thing," she says, preceding to
Floyd | tell you two things, "I've seen more trees fall down than you've had
Floyd | hot dinners and they all make a 'creak . . . creak . . . creaaaakkk! .
Floyd | . . whumph!! . . . thud!!!' sound as they go."
Floyd |
Floyd | The Buddhist looks unconvinced.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I agree with you, Ms Lumberjack -- the tree does make a sound.
Floyd | [2] Nonsense. The tree makes no such sound if no one's there.
Floyd | [3] I don't think it's something we can really know.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | You explain that it is perpetually undetermined -- it is only decided
Floyd | one way or the other when there is an observer. You can only tell if
Floyd | the tree is making a sound if you are present, and you being present
Floyd | decides the fact that it makes a sound. Before you are there the sound
Floyd | exists only in potential.
Floyd |
Floyd | "That's what I've been trying to explain to my wood-cutting associate
Floyd | here," says the Buddhist, "but she simply will not listen."
Floyd |
Floyd | The lumberjack shakes her head in dismay, saying, "That's the biggest
Floyd | load of nonsensication that I ever did hear."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Is there not some way I might convince you of this?
Floyd | [2] I'll just leave you two too it, shall I?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The Buddhist monk seems to think on the matter for a few moments.
Floyd | Finally, he begins: "My tree-felling friend's chief argument seems to
Floyd | rest upon the supposed fact that a sound is always made whenever a
Floyd | tree is felled. If this premise were undermined then perhaps we would
Floyd | come to some resolution."
Floyd |
Floyd | Before you ask him how this might be achieved he continues: "Perhaps
Floyd | you could create a situation in which a tree is felled and she does
Floyd | not hear a sound.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to lumberjack"

Floyd | You decide to leave the pair to their discussion until you can find a
Floyd | way to resolve their argument.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | You head further to the west until you reach a dead-end of brambles,
Floyd | bracken and blackened lightning-struck trees. You hear a raven caw
Floyd | malevolently in the middle distance and a damp shiver sneaks down your
Floyd | spine.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |
Floyd | You swear you just heard one of the trees stifle a cough.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to tree"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | You nearly jump out of your skin as a tree behind you makes spooky
Floyd | ghost noises.
Floyd |
Floyd | Something seems to be laughing under its breath -- but there are only
Floyd | trees here.
Floyd |

Floyd | The brambles spiral in a spiky and heavily-stylised manner around the
Floyd | base of the lightning-struck trees, surrounded by cloying bracken.
Floyd | Peering closely, you can just about make out a rocky formation beyond
Floyd | the brambles.
Floyd |
Floyd | Was that a tree you just heard mumble under its breath? It seemed
Floyd | terribly rude.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | Was that a tree you just heard mumble under its breath? It seemed
Floyd | terribly rude.
Floyd |
Floyd | Something seems to be laughing under its breath -- but there are only
Floyd | trees here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | You swear you just heard one of the trees stifle a cough.
Floyd |
Floyd | You swear you just heard one of the trees stifle a cough.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "search trees"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | Something seems to be laughing under its breath -- but there are only
Floyd | trees here.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x formation"

Floyd | There seems to be some sort of collection of rocks, perhaps even a
Floyd | small cave, beyond the brambles to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | Something seems to be laughing under its breath -- but there are only
Floyd | trees here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "touch tree"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | You consider indulging your subconscious pyromaniac for a moment, but
Floyd | decide to repress the urge instead on the grounds that it would do no
Floyd | good. No doubt this will cost a fortune in future psychoanalysis
Floyd | bills.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Oi! Over here!" shouts someone behind you. You look around -- but
Floyd | there's nothing but trees.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I don't remember the leaflet."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to tree"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "read leaflet"

Floyd | THE SHIP OF NEURATH
Floyd |
Floyd | Take a cruise upon the fabulous Ship of Neurath. Let your sense-data
Floyd | be amazed as the ship is reconstructed before your very eyes. In the
Floyd | words of V.W.O. Quine:
Floyd |
Floyd | "Where a beam is taken away a new one must at once be put there, and
Floyd | for this the rest of the ship is used as support. In this way, by
Floyd | using the old beams and driftwood the ship can be shaped entirely
Floyd | anew, but only by gradual reconstruction."
Floyd |
Floyd | The ship sails annually across the dark ocean without shores or
Floyd | lighthouses, strewn with many a philosophic wreck.
Floyd |
Floyd | You nearly jump out of your skin as a tree behind you makes spooky
Floyd | ghost noises.
Floyd |

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | You swear you just heard one of the trees stifle a cough.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Oi! Over here!" shouts someone behind you. You look around -- but
Floyd | there's nothing but trees.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "hmm, if we can't burn the brambles maybe we need the axe to cut them"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x trees"

Floyd | Although they are mere lumps of carbon they seem ill-meaning and
Floyd | twisted. Indeed, their knots and gnarls, from particular angles, seem
Floyd | to form faces, complete with eyes, noses and mouths. You swear one of
Floyd | them just winked at you.
Floyd |
Floyd | You nearly jump out of your skin as a tree behind you makes spooky
Floyd | ghost noises.
Floyd |

Floyd | The trees are silent and suddenly you feel very silly.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | *** Run-time problem P10: Since the fairytale trees is not allowed the
Floyd | property "greeting", it is against the rules to try to use it.
Floyd |
Floyd | You swear you just heard one of the trees stifle a cough.
Floyd |

Floyd | The trees are silent and suddenly you feel very silly.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | *** Run-time problem P10: Since the fairytale trees is not allowed the
Floyd | property "greeting", it is against the rules to try to use it.
Floyd |
Floyd | Something seems to be laughing under its breath -- but there are only
Floyd | trees here.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh alright," says a voice from amidst the trees, "you've got me, I'm
Floyd | not a tree, or several trees for that matter."
Floyd |
Floyd | From behind the trees hops a curious looking raven. The raven is
Floyd | strange in two ways. Firstly, it has a rainbow plumage. Secondly, it
Floyd | can talk.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So, do you come here often?
Floyd | [2] Like the plumage -- very colourful.
Floyd | [3] Do ravens often talk?
Floyd | [4] Do you know anyway past all this bramble?
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "if we's chosen the right option we never would've known :-D"

Lionheart says, "He reminds me of a writing-desk."

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "Do you?" the raven implores, "I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
Floyd | None of the other ravens will go near me. I wish I could be rid of it
Floyd | once and for all."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So, do you come here often?
Floyd | [2] Do ravens often talk?
Floyd | [3] Do you know any way past all this bramble?
Floyd |

Floyd | "Not bad. Not bad. But you're forgetting one thing-- I don't gots
Floyd | hair," the raven swoops down and takes the bottle off of you. "Until
Floyd | you get something better, I'll take it as down payment."
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Well, the raven has hair like the bald customer has hair"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "ask lumberjack for axe"

Floyd | Your command falls on deaf ears. Perhaps you should TALK TO them about
Floyd | it?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go theatre"

Floyd | You try the theatre doors, but they're fastened shut.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "If a player asks about a topic, does an NPC hear it?"

smartgenes says, "good koan"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "listen to gossip"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | The babble and gossip of a busy market town.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "gossip"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x doors"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "listen to passers-by"

Floyd | The babble and gossip of a busy market town.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open doors"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x gossip"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pull handle"

Floyd | A tinny voice speaks from the mouth of the pump! "Welcome to the
Floyd | Intuition Pump 3000! Thank you for choosing the Intuition Pump for all
Floyd | your intuiting needs. Got a tricky problem you can't solve, or an
Floyd | object you don't know what to do with? Simply hold the puzzler in your
Floyd | mind's eye and pull my handle -- which is to say, PUMP ABOUT the
Floyd | topic! Be amazed as intuitions flow through your mind about the
Floyd | puzzles, objects and people that are bothering you. Happy intuiting!"
Floyd |
Floyd | How extraordinary. Could be useful, though -- better remember to come
Floyd | here and PUMP ABOUT a problem when you're stuck.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "ah, it does do something"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about hair"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, but no intuition is forthcoming.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about maid"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, but no intuition is forthcoming.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We have to be HOLDing the item."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about theatre"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, but no intuition is forthcoming.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "it says mind's eye"

Binder asks, "is this the built in hint thing?"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "pump about wine"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, but no intuition is forthcoming.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "unless mind's eye needs to be held"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about bucket"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, concentrating furiously. You realise that
Floyd | pitch can be used for making things look black, as well as as a
Floyd | sealant.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x eye"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "so that maid with the bucket is somewhere"

smartgenes says, "the pitch path"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "pump about burden"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, concentrating furiously. In a flash of
Floyd | inspiration, you wonder what would happen if you could do something
Floyd | like give a burden of proof to the invisible pink unicorn.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give burden to unicorn"

Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Tch, that wasn't very subtle"

Lionheart says, "I'd mind more if I hadn"

DavidW says, "The unicorns are in the field out east of the original room."

Lionheart says, "I'd mind more if I hadnt planned to do just that"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | You make your way along the cobbled path leading east of the village
Floyd | to the hills beyond. The path begins winding up the hill steeply, but
Floyd | just as you find yourself out of breath from the climb, you find the
Floyd | path levelling out. Then, just as you start finding the leisurely walk
Floyd | a little dull, the path steepens again into a challenging climb.
Floyd | Finally, just as you wish you could reach wherever it is you're headed
Floyd | next in this disconcerting fantasy world, you crest the hill. In the
Floyd | way that happens too often here, you are met by a complete
Floyd | non-sequiteur of a situation.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I didn't mean *this* east."

smartgenes says, "never mind, a woman to rescue"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to man"

Floyd | "Who the devil are you, and what are you doing to that poor woman?"
Floyd | you greet the man forcefully.
Floyd |
Floyd | He turns to you and declaims, with the light of madness in his eyes,
Floyd | "I be the Zombiefinder General!"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Right. And what are you doing to that poor woman?
Floyd | [2] Right. And what exactly is a Zombiefinder General?
Floyd |

Floyd | He cuts you off saying, "That be exactly what a zombie would say!"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Surely, if she confesses to being a zombie you will kill her.
Floyd | [2] You're probably right. I'll just leave you to it then...
Floyd |

Floyd | "It might be harming their best dinner jacket," he muses. "And perhaps
Floyd | their wallet when they get the dry cleaning bill. Other than that,
Floyd | no."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Then why don't you just do that to her anyway?
Floyd | [2] I can understand now why it would be a cruel and unusual to
Floyd | subject someone to that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "That be defeating the whole point of a fair interrogation!" he says
Floyd | with exasperation. "I can't just go about applying punishment all over
Floyd | the place without proof, no matter the benefit. The whole institution
Floyd | of justice would break down -- and such an institution be generally
Floyd | maximisin' well-bein' more than the well-bein' caused by breakin' the
Floyd | rules in particular instances."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I don't think breaking the rule this time will erode the
Floyd | principles of justice.
Floyd | [2] Ah, you are of course absolutely correct.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | He looks at you scornfully, "It starts off with a few people sayin'
Floyd | 'Oh, Justice won't suddenly break down if you pour some Arrabbiata
Floyd | sauce on some girl that may otherwise burn to death' -- but it's a
Floyd | slippery slope! Soon you'll be wantin' to routinely sauce people up
Floyd | before they get on flights, or shake a little holy parmesan at them
Floyd | when they go to the library. I may be a Zombiefinder General, but even
Floyd | I wouldn't want an erosion of civil liberties to come about through
Floyd | the war against zombies."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] (give up)
Floyd | [2] You've convinced me! I'll be off now.
Floyd | [3] Surely burning at the stake is an erosion of civil liberties?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | He seems to have already thought long and hard about this issue, and
Floyd | replies instantly, "Burning at the stake is already an erosion of
Floyd | civil liberties and I be going to try as hard as I can to prevent
Floyd | future erosions. Now, please be on your way." He shoos you along,
Floyd | having tired of the conversation.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] (leave)
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Ha"

smartgenes says, "did i miss something"

Binder says, "i think we lost the war on terror"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The Zombiehunter glares at you from beneath his orange eyebrows.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Incidentally, what exactly is a Zombiehunter General?
Floyd |

Floyd | "That village down there is crawling with the buggers," he replies
Floyd | gruffly. "Zombieing all over the place, them and their qualia-free
Floyd | brains."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What do you want me to do about it?
Floyd | [2] Let me guess -- you want me to find the zombies?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "I would like you to retire the zombies," he says. "You know, remove
Floyd | them from action."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] How would I go about doing that?
Floyd | [2] Sounds like a plan. I'll get right to it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Give it a good hacking over the head with a sharp implement," he
Floyd | explains, gesturing violently in a way that makes you take a step
Floyd | back. "That should do the trick. I'd recommend holy sauce, but it be a
Floyd | tad expensive and goes off quickly."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I'll get right on it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Do not tarry!" he shouts, "Go retire some zombies!"
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "did i mess up by not asking for the axe?"

DavidW says, "I doubt we could get the axe anyway unless the argument about sound was solved first."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to woman"

Floyd | You stare up at the woman tied to the stake. She is dressed in white,
Floyd | below her torso is wreathed in smoke like some melodramatic rendition
Floyd | of a vengeful god.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Are you alright, love?
Floyd | [2] You know, smoking is an awful habit.
Floyd | [3] Is this some sort of new-age skin treatment?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "No," she replies, shaking her head, "it's actually quite a
Floyd | traditional method of treatment. It's good both for the skin and also
Floyd | for confessions. It was once quite popular with Catholics in Spain and
Floyd | has celebrity endorsement from Joan of Arc."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] You're taking this all remarkably well.
Floyd | [2] So, why exactly are you burning away here?
Floyd | [3] Now that you've tried it, would you recommend it to a friend?
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "lol"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | She seems to give the issue some thought. "It certainly has its
Floyd | benefits, but I'm not sure I would have opted for this particular
Floyd | treatment were it offered as optional."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I suppose your skin is good already. It's one of your many
Floyd | qualities...
Floyd | [2] So, how did this situation come about?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | Her face takes on a look that can be found on thumb-twiddlers,
Floyd | hair-fiddlers and feet-shufflers everywhere. "Um . . ." she begins, "I
Floyd | don't so much possess qualities, as act in a wholly consistent
Floyd | manner."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] That's nice. So, how did you get here?
Floyd | [2] On a slightly different note -- why are you burning on this stake?
Floyd |

Floyd | "That's a good question. It all started three weeks ago when . . ."
Floyd | Two long hours pass. ". . . and then he tied me up here and now he's
Floyd | trying to make me confess to being a zombie."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Are you a zombie?
Floyd | [2] What happens if you confess?
Floyd | [3] And it wouldn't be consistent to lie and confess to something you
Floyd | hadn't done?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | She looks about herself and says, "Not last time I checked."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So what would happen if you confessed?
Floyd | [2] Oh. I was excited there for a moment...
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "I'm sorry to disappoint you . . ." she starts, but you've heard the
Floyd | condolence speech too many times to pay attention to the rest. All you
Floyd | pick up on is the word "consistent" peppered liberally throughout.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So . . . what would happen if you wanted to leave?
Floyd | [2] Is this all about consistency?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "As a point of consistency, I'd rather die than lie. If I'm honest,
Floyd | which I always am, I'm a bit of a martyr for truth. I shall not admit
Floyd | to being a zombie, as I am not a zombie."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] That's a tad extreme. Looks like you need proving right.
Floyd | [2] How very odd you are.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "It'll be difficult to prove that I'm not a zombie," she says with
Floyd | finality, "but hopefully history will vindicate me if you do not." You
Floyd | think it a good time to leave, given that she will soon be burning
Floyd | alive.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "west then"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

zarf walks off through the wall; vivid gold light flares briefly around him.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x pitch"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | On the Edge of the Plains
Floyd | The plains are a grassy expanse extending to the east as far as the
Floyd | eye can see, and probably further. Here, just a short distance east of
Floyd | the road, a small crowd has gathered, silently gazing out onto the
Floyd | wilderness.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | Ignoring the disapproving glares of the unicornists, you strike out
Floyd | onto the plains purposefully. Then you trip over a rabbit hole, fall
Floyd | flat on your face, pick yourself up, woefully brush the resulting
Floyd | grass strains, and then strike out again, equally purposefully, if now
Floyd | a little humbly.
Floyd |
Floyd | Wide Plains
Floyd | You make your way out into the wide plains. They're an extraordinary
Floyd | expanse of grass so green it hurts your eyes. No matter how far you
Floyd | walk into them -- so far that the crowd at the roadside becomes a mere
Floyd | speck, like a squashed fly on a motorway windscreen -- they remain as
Floyd | boundless as ever, stretching out in seemingly every direction.
Floyd |
Floyd | There is a peculiar juddering noise in the distance.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | You listen closely to the sound, and discern the direction of
Floyd | approach. You wait, tense, as the sound approaches, and then -- just
Floyd | as you fear you're about to be crushed beneath invisible hooves -- you
Floyd | launch yourself into the air and land, with a dramatic thud, on the
Floyd | heavy, pulsing, pink and invisible mound of the unicorn's back.
Floyd |
Floyd | The unicorn tries to buck you, but you lurch forward and grab wildly
Floyd | -- successfully hooking an arm round the invisible pink horn on Her
Floyd | invisible pink head.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Put burden on it!"

Binder says (to Floyd), "put burden on horn"

Floyd | Putting things on the horn would achieve nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | As the unicorn gallops onwards She whinnies madly and continues to
Floyd | buck her body furiously in an effort to throw you.
Floyd |

Binder says, "hrmph"

Lionheart says, "Yee ha"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put burden on unicorn"

Floyd | Putting things on the unicorn would achieve nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | Unless you do something to stop the unicorn soon, you'll be thrown to
Floyd | the ground and crushed beneath her mighty invisible pink hooves -- and
Floyd | no doubt cast down to the Pastures of Short Grass and High Manure.
Floyd |

Floyd | You grip Her flanks tightly with your thighs, feeling the enormous
Floyd | pink muscles pulse beneath her invisible skin, and lurch forward,
Floyd | strecthing out your arms to loops the burden's thong over the end of
Floyd | Her horn. There's a trembling equine scream and she stumbles; you feel
Floyd | Her front legs buckle beneath her as you're thrown into a somersault
Floyd | over Her head.
Floyd |
Floyd | Picking yourself up from the ground, you turn around and feel your
Floyd | breath snatched out from your lungs by the vision before you like a
Floyd | baby fox from its set by a hunter's hound. The unicorn is weeping and
Floyd | singing, Her broken legs flailing in the air -- in her last moments
Floyd | she has appeared. Her skin shimmers with a mega-pinkness truly beyond
Floyd | your understanding; her mighty silver horn is bent in two by the
Floyd | enormous burden of proof.
Floyd |
Floyd | The earth cracks around Her and She seems to shrink from your sight
Floyd | while simultaneously expanding to encompass the entire breadth of the
Floyd | plain. There's a might boom and sucking of air and she vanishes,
Floyd | triumphantly, in a puff of logic, leaving behind her a whiff of greasy
Floyd | pink smoke.
Floyd |
Floyd | The plains seem terribly small now, and the crowd terribly close. They
Floyd | are whimpering at your approach. Before you reach them, there's a
Floyd | collective roar, and the sprint as one down the road, ripping their
Floyd | Unicornist badges from their clothes and casting them aside.
Floyd |
Floyd | On the Edge of the Plains
Floyd | The plains seem folornly empty now that the unicorn's non-existence
Floyd | has been firmly proven. There is nothing here for you.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf4"

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Ladies and gentleman, that is how you kill a god."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "cry"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I wouldn't've guessed 'hang' there. good job."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | The plains are too vast and empty for that to be a pleasurable walk.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We might be able to enter the church again and the theater now."

smartgenes says, "i thought the horn idea was the best solution"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get pole"

Floyd | That's not the part of the scarecrow you're interested in.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x scarecrow"

Floyd | The scarecrow, now totally inanimate, and with his sacking torn away,
Floyd | droops folornly on his pole, while his comatose homunculi lie in a
Floyd | heap beneath him.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get homunculi"

Floyd | Philosophers are not yet supermen.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Striking out south towards the castle, you soon realise what it is
Floyd | that lurks so strangely at the base of the crag. As the rock looms
Floyd | over you like ten tonne weight over a hapless clown, the road becomes
Floyd | a pebbly path leading into what is clearly an enormous maze.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Darn the author's lack of synonyms"

DavidW says, "I suspect we're not ready for a maze yet."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sign"

Floyd | Attention, Adventurer! This MAZE is not for the FAINTHEARTED, nor for
Floyd | the CORRUPT. This is the MORAL MAZE, where only the truly ETHICAL
Floyd | shall pass. Should you find yourself LOST forever -- what can you do
Floyd | but PRAY?
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "oh sheet a maze"

djfletch says, "yeah, try the theatre first maybe"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pray"

Floyd | God is dead.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "climb pole"

Floyd | You're positively climbing up the walls.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | As you approach the village, you see that the crowd of unicornist has
Floyd | gathered outside the church, baying for blood. They charge the doors,
Floyd | which burst open, and they flood into the building. There's a moment
Floyd | of confused stillness, and then they come thundering out of the
Floyd | church, carrying the priest along bodily like a rock star at a
Floyd | open-air festival, only much more threateningly. You dive for cover as
Floyd | the crowd streams past you and mob off down the road, the priest's
Floyd | plaintiff cries drowned beneath their righteous anger.
Floyd |
Floyd | As they vanish into the distance they leave nothing behind them but a
Floyd | cloud of dust and a single dazed unicornist. Hairy and bedraggled, he
Floyd | looks at you in utter confusion, says "Nice day for it", and wanders
Floyd | off.
Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |
Floyd | The theatre's director is here, jumping around declaiming his joy to
Floyd | a skull held tenderly in his hand.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "skull?"

Lionheart says, "Plaintiff? Who's he gonna sue"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to director"

Floyd | When the director spots you, he runs up to meet you, scuffing the hems
Floyd | of his trousers. "You, mate," he says, "Are a bloody marvel. I heard
Floyd | all about it! You and the unicorn, proving She doesn't exist!
Floyd | S'changed everyfing round here, I tell you. Look, I really owe you
Floyd | one. I've got this fing my grandfather passed on to me. Haven't a clue
Floyd | what it does, but he called it a qualiascope and sed it was the most
Floyd | valuable fing he owned. Looks bloody beautiful, anyway."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Listen, I've gotta get on. Got a show to produce! Catch you later,
Floyd | comrade."
Floyd |
Floyd | He shambles off back into the theatre, slamming the door behind him.
Floyd | You're left holding the arcane device in your hands.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "it'll be Yoric"

DavidW asks, "'qualiascope'?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x qualiascope"

Floyd | It's covered in a hundred nozzles, dials and buttons; you daren't
Floyd | press a single one of them. There's a bit that looks like it's
Floyd | definitely meant to be an eyepiece, though.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look through eyepiece"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "It's a zombie detector"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x etepiece"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in qualiascope"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x eyepiece"

Floyd | Look through it at what?
Floyd |
Floyd | You hold the eyepiece to your eye and look through it. The scenery is
Floyd | rendered in black and white, but here and there are extraordinary
Floyd | flashes of color, and smells and tastes and sounds and feelings and
Floyd | emotions and . . . You put down the qualiascope, feeling queasy. You
Floyd | realise that what it allows you to do is see directly into other
Floyd | people's consciousness. Whatever they sense, you sense. Whatever they
Floyd | feel, you feel. It's more than you could possibly imagine. Or, indeed,
Floyd | would want to.
Floyd |

Binder says, "hotttt"

DavidW says, "I think this would help the burning woman."

smartgenes says, "wonder if dinner is served yet"

canadianpuzzler says, "By the way, if it's pitch you want, you have to go to the room with ex scarecrow and climb the ladder. You probably also want the pail to put it in."

Lionheart says, "Right, we can prove she's not a qualia-less zombie with it"

DavidW says (to canad), "No spoilers please."

smartgenes says, "um less spoilers please"

smartgenes says, "but we knew about the pail anyway"

smartgenes says, "don't recall any ladder, only a pole"

DavidW says, "There was a ladder down from the roof."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | The hill's too steep to descend in that direction.
Floyd |

canadianpuzzler says, "I've never played the game, actually. I just remembered where the pitch was, and that there was a ladder."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give qualiascope to man"

Floyd | The Zombiefinder General doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look at general"

Floyd | A brutish-looking man, with green eyes and orange eyebrows. He's
Floyd | wearing a uniform covered in silver brocade, with three purple
Floyd | chevrons on each shoulder. It's as if he's trying to assert the
Floyd | vibrancy of his colourful personality through the medium of military
Floyd | vestments.
Floyd |
Floyd | He's determinedly interrogating the equally determined woman on the
Floyd | pyre.
Floyd |
Floyd | The interrogator gesticulates manically at the woman, crying
Floyd | "Confess!" But she merely juts out her jaw determinedly.
Floyd |

Floyd | Now that you know he's truly a zombie, dispatching him as quickly as
Floyd | possible seems like a plan, but you'll need something sharp . . .
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "axes"

djfletch says, "or sauce"

canadianpuzzler says, ">X out zombie"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "ask zombiefinder for sauce"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Axe is good choice, sure."

smartgenes says, "dinner then"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | You alight upon a square, around which runs someone who looks like a
Floyd | madman, grasping a lantern lit bright in the morning hours, and crying
Floyd | incessantly.This appears to be the academic quarter of the village,
Floyd | and so may in fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You
Floyd | know it's the academic quarter, because the grass is covered with
Floyd | sprawling young people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks,
Floyd | and organic deodorant, around whom the madman runs, crying, while they
Floyd | yell and laugh at him. Architecturally and geographically speaking,
Floyd | the buildings look like they were placed there by a commitee of
Floyd | village planners whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a
Floyd | compass. Three sides of the square are complemented by a museum,
Floyd | research institute and a library, to the west, north and east
Floyd | respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hmm lucky i mapped wrong in my mind"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x madman"

Floyd | He has a bushy moustache and looks like the sort of guy who likes to
Floyd | hike.
Floyd |

Floyd | The madman jumps into your midst and pierces you with his eyes.
Floyd | "Whither is God?" he cries; "I will tell you. We have killed him---you
Floyd | and I. All of us are his murderers. But how did we do this?
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] With the Nietzsche book, in the ballroom?
Floyd | [2] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [3] (leave)
Floyd |

Floyd | The madman jumps into your midst and pierces you with his eyes.
Floyd | "Whither is God?" he cries; "I will tell you. We have killed him---you
Floyd | and I. All of us are his murderers. But how did we do this?
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] With the Nietzsche book, in the ballroom?
Floyd | [2] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [3] (leave)
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "reminf"

Floyd | I didn't understand that number.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "How could we drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away
Floyd | the entire horizon? What were we doing when we unchained this earth
Floyd | from its sun?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Perhaps we were very thirsty.
Floyd | [2] Um . . . the really big sponge merchant? That is to say -- the
Floyd | merhant who sells really big sponges.
Floyd | [3] We were unchaining. That's what people do when they unchain stuff.
Floyd | [4] Hey! One question at a time.
Floyd | [5] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [6] (leave)
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | Your comment causes the madman to lose his thread, and like a record
Floyd | player rudely jolted he starts his spiel anew.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Square
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

DavidW says, "5"

smartgenes says, "haha the big sponge merchant"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | Your comment causes the madman to lose his thread, and like a record
Floyd | player rudely jolted he starts his spiel anew.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Square
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "5"

Floyd | "Whither is it moving now? Whither are we moving? Away from all suns?
Floyd | Are we not plunging continually? Backward, sideward, forward, in all
Floyd | directions? Is there still any up or down? Are we not straying, as
Floyd | through an infinite nothing?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Stop it! You're making me dizzy.
Floyd | [2] Don't worry, I often feel that way too after a few drinks.
Floyd | [3] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [4] (leave)
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I think we need to let the madman gibber and we just listen."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "lol"

Floyd | I didn't understand that number.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "Do we not feel the breath of empty space? Has it not become colder?
Floyd | Is not night continually closing in on us? Do we not need to light
Floyd | lanterns in the morning?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] No, it's just you.
Floyd | [2] Do you ever say anything that isn't a question?
Floyd | [3] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [4] (leave)
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "Do we hear nothing as yet of the noise of the gravediggers who are
Floyd | burying God? Do we smell nothing as yet of the divine decomposition?
Floyd | Gods, too, decompose. God is dead. God remains dead. And we have
Floyd | killed him."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] We? What do you mean we? Leave me out of this: I'm not going to be
Floyd | accessory to this murder.
Floyd | [2] Sorry about the smell; I think I stepped in some unicorn muck back
Floyd | there.
Floyd | [3] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [4] (leave)
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "lol this is great"

Lionheart says, "Ha ha ha"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What
Floyd | was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled
Floyd | to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I always find a nice cup of tea comforting at times like this.
Floyd | [2] A hot shower should do the trick. Shall we...?
Floyd | [3] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [4] (leave)
Floyd |

DavidW says, "ha 2"

canadianpuzzler says, "As per the game world, it is too late not be an accessory..."

DavidW says, "but choose listen"

smartgenes asks, "Norman Bates?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of
Floyd | atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the
Floyd | greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become
Floyd | gods simply to appear worthy of it?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Festival of atonement? Is that some sort of Gregorian chant gig?
Floyd | [2] If we're going to be inventing games, I suggest a dynamic cross
Floyd | between spelunking and curling.
Floyd | [3] On the greatness scale, I think it falls somewhere between
Floyd | juggling with chainsaws and licking one's own elbow.
Floyd | [4] Become Gods, eh? That sounds like a super plan fit for a Superman
Floyd | (and/or non-gender-specific Superbeing).
Floyd | [5] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [6] (leave)
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hahaha the dialogue gets better & better"

DavidW says, "So bizarre."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "5"

Floyd | "There has never been a greater deed; and whoever is born after
Floyd | us---for the sake of this deed he will belong to a higher history than
Floyd | all history hitherto."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Pah! I reject your patriarchal meta-narrative!
Floyd | [2] A higher history? That doesn't sound too bad.
Floyd | [3] (listen patiently)
Floyd | [4] (leave)
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | Here the madman falls silent and looks again at you, his listener; and
Floyd | you, too, are silent and stare at him in astonishment. At last he
Floyd | throw his lantern on the ground, where it breaks into pieces and goes
Floyd | out. "I have come too early," he says; "my time is not yet. This
Floyd | tremendous event is still on its way, still wandering; it has not yet
Floyd | reached the ears of men. Lightning and thunder require time; the light
Floyd | of the stars requires time; deeds, though done, still require time to
Floyd | be seen and heard. This deed is still more distant from them than most
Floyd | distant stars---and yet they have done it themselves."
Floyd |
Floyd | With these final words the madman leaves the square. You see him
Floyd | heading in the direction of the church, and from that direction you
Floyd | soon hear the words, "What after all are these churches now if they
Floyd | are not the tombs and sepulchers of God?". You feel like you've
Floyd | overslept and woken up in a 1970"s Kaufmann translation of The Gay
Floyd | Science. I mean, who uses the word "sepulchers", anyway?
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf5"

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lantern"

Floyd | (the broken lantern)
Floyd | The glass part of the lantern is broken, so that the feeblest of winds
Floyd | would soon extinguish the fire within.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Museum
Floyd | The Odditorium is filled with a crazy array of philosophical exhibits.
Floyd | You wander past a brain suspended in a vat of colourless liquid and
Floyd | wired to some complicated electronics, and then pause to examine an
Floyd | old-fashioned tachyon telephone. You could spend hours in here, but
Floyd | your attention is alerted by a furious argument taking place at the
Floyd | far end of the room, beneath the hulking hull of a ship that protrudes
Floyd | from the wall in a most unexpected manner. There, a man in extremely
Floyd | piratical clothing is giving a woman in a steward's uniform a piece of
Floyd | his mind.
Floyd |

DavidW clicks "Like" on "Odditorium".

smartgenes says, "i thought he was giving her something more than his mind then"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to look at the pirate.
Floyd |

Lionheart asks, "Pastafarians?"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pirate"

Floyd | Bandana, frock-coat, dreadlocks, eyeliner -- the lot. He's either a
Floyd | pirate or a glam rock refugee.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Arr!" says the pirate, with a sense of obligation. "Theseus be the
Floyd | name o' my ship! This be just a shoddy replica!"
Floyd |
Floyd | "No, I think you'll find that this is the original Theseus, and your
Floyd | ship is but a pale remake," replies the steward camly.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look at pirate through qualiascope"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to look at the pirate.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "examine pirate with qualiascope"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to examine the pirate.
Floyd |

Floyd | (the Ship of Theseus)
Floyd | The business end of a great ship is poking through the wall of the
Floyd | museum, with a surprised-looking mermaid stuck on the pointy bit. It
Floyd | might be a figurehead. The name on the prow is "Theseus".
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x woman"

Floyd | "Honestly, this is constructed entirely from the original abandoned
Floyd | timbers," says the steward.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Shiver your timbers!" replies the pirate, in the manner of a grave
Floyd | insult.
Floyd |
Floyd | She sports a uniform and a badge that declares her to be called
Floyd | "HallomynameisTracyhowmayIhelpyou".
Floyd |
Floyd | "You be takin' my livelihood away!" cries the pirate, his mascara
Floyd | running. The steward simply crosses her arms and tuts at this display.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to pirate"

Floyd | "What seems to be the trouble here?" you ask, approaching the arguing
Floyd | pair.
Floyd |
Floyd | "She be stealin' my ship!" exclaims the pirate.
Floyd |
Floyd | "He be -- sorry, is -- kicking up a fuss in my museum over a silly
Floyd | little name."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So what exactly happened?
Floyd | [2] How does one steal a ship, exactly?
Floyd | [3] And what name seems to be causing the trouble?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "It's quite simple," says the steward. "Mr Starling --"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Cap'n Starling," corrects the pirate.
Floyd |
Floyd | " -- Captain Starling here owned a rather famous ship, the Theseus.
Floyd | Over the years he's had to replace its timbers one by one, casting the
Floyd | old ones aside as he goes. We at Reichenbach's Believe-It-or-Not Ltd
Floyd | simply gathered the timbers together and rebuilt the original ship for
Floyd | display here."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Scurvy dogs that you arrr! And now the Shippin' Board be on my back
Floyd | about name licensin', not lettin' me an' my mates sail the seas agin
Floyd | 'til we can either prove Theseus be our ship an' not this
Floyd | barnacle-bottomed bucket or come up with another name!"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Well, splice my mainbrace," you say.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Why don't you just rename your ship, then?
Floyd | [2] Why don't you just keelhaul her?
Floyd | [3] Couldn't you take up macrame instead?
Floyd | [4] Couldn't the museum set up some sort of licensing agreement?
Floyd |

Floyd | "Theseus be the finest name ever to grace a ship on the high seas,"
Floyd | growls the pirate. "Lessen you can find a better unused name, I'm not
Floyd | budgin'."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Right. A better ship name. Fine. I'll see what I can do.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "This is the identity puzzle."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Aye-aye!" says the steward, rather getting into the swing of things.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter ship"

Floyd | (the Ship of Theseus)
Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "which philsopher was that related to"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

djfletch asks, "what was the cruise ship called?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x paper"

Floyd | Scrawled upon a scrap of paper is: "COME TO THE STATE OF NATURIST CAMP
Floyd | -- NASTY BRUTISH FUN FOR ALL!!!"
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Do our tickets help?"

inky arrives, full of funk, but no fun.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x ticket"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "That's not the tickets."

djfletch says, "yeah, maybe we can just give the pirate the ticket"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x brochure"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | THE SHIP OF NEURATH
Floyd |
Floyd | Take a cruise upon the fabulous Ship of Neurath. Let your sense-data
Floyd | be amazed as the ship is reconstructed before your very eyes. In the
Floyd | words of V.W.O. Quine:
Floyd |
Floyd | "Where a beam is taken away a new one must at once be put there, and
Floyd | for this the rest of the ship is used as support. In this way, by
Floyd | using the old beams and driftwood the ship can be shaped entirely
Floyd | anew, but only by gradual reconstruction."
Floyd |
Floyd | The ship sails annually across the dark ocean without shores or
Floyd | lighthouses, strewn with many a philosophic wreck.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "maybe just tell him neurath or give the leaflet"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Museum
Floyd | The Odditorium is filled with a crazy array of philosophical exhibits.
Floyd | The argument between the steward and the pirate still rages beneath
Floyd | the ship.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "yeah, give leaflet."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give leaflet to pirate"

Floyd | (first taking the informative leaflet)
Floyd | (putting the qualiascope into the sack to make room)
Floyd | "Listen," you say to the pirate, "I've just heard about this cruise.
Floyd | It's no longer running, so the name of the boat's free -- it's
Floyd | "Neurath". I thought that that was pretty good. And it's being
Floyd | constantly remade as well, just like yours, What do you say?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Arr," says the pirate. "You be sure this be a proper ship an' not
Floyd | just an allegory for the method of practising pseduo-falsification to
Floyd | preserve the coherency of any given epistemological system?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Oh, certainly," you reply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "That'll do nicely then," he says, swaggering off in a haze of
Floyd | alcohol, fleas, and overwrought guitar riffs. You and the steward
Floyd | watch him go, and then she takes you by the arm. "Listen," she says,
Floyd | "I ought to thank you for that. We've been getting rid of some old
Floyd | exhibits in order to make room for the Theseus, and I've some old
Floyd | moral principles nobody seems interested in any more. I could let you
Floyd | have one, if you like.
Floyd |
Floyd | She shows you the display case, in which sits a tiny golden measuring
Floyd | rule, a little silver calculator, and an odd lead cube.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What's that golden ruler?
Floyd | [2] What's that silver calculator?
Floyd | [3] What's that lead cube?
Floyd | [4] I'll take the ruler, thanks.
Floyd | [5] I'll take the calculator, thanks.
Floyd | [6] I'll take the cube, thanks.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

Alex says (to smartgenes), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that Aristotle was one of Greece's great thinkers who determined, by sheer force of intellect, that women have fewer teeth than men."

DavidW asks, "I'm thinking the cube might be best?"

DavidW says, "Hopefully we can swap if we're wrong."

smartgenes says, "it's giving a hint about its weightiness i guess"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "6"

Floyd | "Certainly!" she says. "Here you go. Now, if you ever want to borrow
Floyd | another, do come back and we'll do a discrete swap for you."
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "yay, we can swap later"

smartgenes says, "a shade of grue"

DavidW says, "grue meaning green or blue."

DavidW says, "think about grue"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x posters"

Floyd | One hopes the rules aren't treated with as much disregard as the
Floyd | posters.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Mary is a brilliant scientist who knows everything there is to know about color, but investigates the world from a black and white room with a black and white monitor"

Floyd | Pink and wobbly, like strawberry jelly, only with more neurones. And
Floyd | rather more disturbing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "say nanananana batman"

Floyd | (to Nagel)
Floyd | Just TALK TO them.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to nagel"

Floyd | Nagel notices you and grabs your shoulders with both hands. His eyes
Floyd | boring into yours, he whispers. "Can you tell me what it is like? What
Floyd | it is like . . . to be a bat?" This said, he seems to forget what he's
Floyd | doing, and returns to his dissection, muttering all the while.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "She knows all about wavelengths and physics of color and the central nervous system and what not, but she hasn't seen "red"."

smartgenes says, "ok so we use the scope on a bat"

Lionheart says, "The question being, When Mary is released from her room and sees red for the first time, does she learn anything new"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look through qualiascope at bat"

Floyd | Which do you mean, the gigantic bat model or the bat posters?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "model"

Floyd | That sounds like a terrific idea -- if only you had a qualiascope.
Floyd |

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You open the door, but hear a furious yowling coming from within. "Get
Floyd | back in, damn you!" cries a frustrated voice, before yelping from what
Floyd | sounds like a nasty bite. You decide to leave them to it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | As you enter the colour lab, the scientist inside jumps in surprise,
Floyd | dropping what looks like some rather sensitive equipment on the floor
Floyd | with an expensive-sounding crash.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Bugger!" she says in a pleasant English accent. "There goes another
Floyd | prism assembly." She bends down to pick up the pieces, mumbling
Floyd | distractedly to herself. She seems to have entirely forgotten your
Floyd | presence.
Floyd |
Floyd | The lab itself is filled with all manner of scientific equipment.
Floyd | Monitors, levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the
Floyd | room's desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall --
Floyd | has a complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in
Floyd | the middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass. Mary's
Floyd | gathering pieces from underneath the desk, still with her back to you.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh no, dear," she says regretfully. "I don't know about anything
Floyd | other than colours."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] That's a peculiar research specialisation.
Floyd | [2] Nothing other than colours ar all?
Floyd | [3] Then I suppose you won't know how I can get out of it either?
Floyd |

Floyd | "The what?" she says, puzzled. "Oh! The goggles! D'you know, I forgot
Floyd | I had them on. I don't really think about them, you see."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] They seem a bit big and unwieldy just to forget they're there.
Floyd | [2] Don't you want to take them off?
Floyd | [3] So what do they do?
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | "As I understand it," she says, "they filter out the experience of
Floyd | colour, meaning that I see everything in black and white. Of course, I
Floyd | wouldn't know, having never taken them off."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] (something doesn't add up here)
Floyd | [2] Wait . . . you study colour intimately, but you've never taken off
Floyd | those goggles?
Floyd | [3] Wait . . . you've never experienced colour?
Floyd | [4] Wait . . . you said you were an expert on colour?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "4"

Floyd | "Absolutely. Anything you want to know about colour, I can tell you."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] (something doesn't add up here)
Floyd | [2] And you study colour intimately, but you've never taken off those
Floyd | goggles?

Floyd | "Hmm," says Mary. "D'you know, I don't think so? I already know
Floyd | exactly how my brain and body'll react to colours, you see, as I know
Floyd | everything about them. Is there anything more to it than that? I
Floyd | suppose it'll be nice to get some experimental confirmation, though."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Er . . . but you still don't know is what it's like to experience
Floyd | colours, do you?
Floyd | [2] Er . . . but, for example, you wouldn't know that a red apple was
Floyd | red, would you?
Floyd | [3] OK . . . but what if the first thing you saw was something
Floyd | unexpected? Like something that wasn't coloured the way it should be?
Floyd | Wouldn't that trick you, as you hadn't experienced it before?
Floyd | [4] I don't understand any of this. I think I'll go.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | Mary thinks for a while about this, as if she'd never considered it
Floyd | before. "I said I know everything there is to know," she says. "And
Floyd | I'm not sure 'what it's like' is something to know, is it? I mean, I
Floyd | know everything about how your brain reacts to colours, and so on. The
Floyd | 'what it's like' isn't really knowledge, is it?
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Er . . . but, for example, you wouldn't know that a red apple was
Floyd | red, would you?
Floyd | [2] I don't understand any of this. I think I'll go.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Oh no, dear!" she says. "I absolutely know when an apple's red. I
Floyd | know everything about colours, you see -- including what they behave
Floyd | like when filtered through my goggles here. So I can tell when an
Floyd | apple is red."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I don't understand any of this. I think I'll go.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Oh, bye, dear," says Mary, turning back to her work. "Do come back if
Floyd | you think of something else, or have something interesting to show
Floyd | me."
Floyd |

Floyd | This a file of administrative forms that have reached the highest
Floyd | level of bureaucratic perfection. In order to complete them they must
Floyd | be signed by the relevant officials, who will only sign the form if
Floyd | they are presented with the very same form already signed.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "get goggles"

Floyd | You really don't think you can muck about with the goggles -- Mary
Floyd | seems very protective of them. If you want her to take them off,
Floyd | you'll have to give her a very good reason to check out some colours.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get glass"

Floyd | You daren't touch them.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "show paint to mary"

Floyd | Mary seems to take no notice.
Floyd |

Lionheart asks, "Might hte raven be useful here?"

DavidW says, "hm. Maybe."

DavidW says, "Certainly we should talk to the raven again."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | There's a bloody furious cat in there -- an equally furious physicist
Floyd | is trying to force it into a box and close the lid, but is getting
Floyd | only bites and scratches for his troubles. You decide to leave them to
Floyd | it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "post paper"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | Inside, the library is distressingly ordinary. If there were a
Floyd | building in this crazed thought experiment of a world you would like
Floyd | to have seen exploit the full potential of the absurd, it would be the
Floyd | library. A winding maze of bookshelves, perhaps, in which the unwary
Floyd | adventurer could get lost for hours, on the run from herds of rogue
Floyd | thesauruses; a vast glass dome adorned with mysterious and disturbing
Floyd | stained glass images; bolts of narrative energy crackling between the
Floyd | books, frazzling the flocks of pamphlets roosting in the upper stacks.
Floyd |
Floyd | But no. This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a
Floyd | borrowing counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and
Floyd | a few old desks. At one of these an imposing bearded man sits, writing
Floyd | furiously.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x images"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x man"

Floyd | A large bearded man sits at a desk in the library, writing furiously.
Floyd | He's surrounded by bundles of paper, some typed, some written in a
Floyd | near-illegible scrawl.
Floyd |

Floyd | "My Manifesto!" he says, his voice raising and his eyes glowing. "The
Floyd | theory of the abolition of private property! The history of all
Floyd | hitherto society -- the history of class struggle! The exposure of the
Floyd | bourgeois prejudices of law, morality and religion! The revolution of
Floyd | the workers of the world!
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Oh . . . ! You're Karl Marx, aren't you?
Floyd | [2] OK. This is me edging away slowly now.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | He stops mid-rant. "The very same. You have heard of my work?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Well, to be honest, I didn't really get past page 7 of Das
Floyd | Kapital.
Floyd | [2] Ah, and that's the Manifesto itself, is it? Why are you copying it
Floyd | by hand?
Floyd | [3] Yup. Pleasure to meet you and all, but I have to go.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | You think you detect a blush rising beneath his beard. "My typewriter
Floyd | broke," he says, before sitting down and burying his head in his
Floyd | hands.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Good job I'm not really interested in reading it, then.
Floyd | [2] Never fear, Karl! I shall procure you a typewriter and return
Floyd | forthwith!
Floyd | [3] Look, if that's a hint to get me to go on an obscure object quest,
Floyd | forget it. Not unless you've got the readies.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "3"

Floyd | Marx looks affronted. "Has the bourgeosie so pitilessly torn asunder
Floyd | the motley of ties that bound us and left remaining no other nexus
Floyd | between us than callous cash payment?" he demands, before leaving you,
Floyd | chagrined, for his writing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | You make to charge out of the library in a fit of adventurous fervour,
Floyd | before tripping over your shoelaces.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "Ah, perhaps we can loot the Chinese room."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x shoelaces"

Floyd | Those pesky laces!
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "lol... implemented"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We didn't talk to the librarian."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to young people"

Floyd | You spend enough time among students in what you fondly remember as he
Floyd | real world to want to talk to them now, and indeed you know them well
Floyd | enough to know they'll be no help getting you out of an insanely
Floyd | solipsistic intellectual quandary -- much the reverse, in fact.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

Floyd | The librarian spots you and says, "What do you want this time?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Still got no Plato I can read?
Floyd | [2] Er, I was wondering if, maybe, you could see your way to getting
Floyd | that Encyclopaedia for me again?
Floyd | [3] Oh, nothing. I just wanted to annoy you, actually.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "drat. Put it in our sack?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The librarian shakes h/er head sullenly.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "perhaps we can fool them into taking the manual instad?"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to librarian"

Floyd | The librarian spots you and says, "What do you want this time?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Still got no Plato I can read?
Floyd | [2] Er, I was wondering if, maybe, you could see your way to getting
Floyd | that Encyclopaedia for me again?
Floyd | [3] Oh, nothing. I just wanted to annoy you, actually.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | The librarian glares at you, but heads off to the shelves to fetch the
Floyd | book.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put tome in sack"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | There's a ledger and inkwell sitting on it.
Floyd |
Floyd | You discover nothing of interest in the ledger.
Floyd |
Floyd | The librarian returns and hands the tome to you wordlessly, before
Floyd | returning to h/er spot behind the counter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x librarian"

Floyd | She -- you correct yourself, he -- hasn't even bothered to tie his
Floyd | hair back in a tight bun, or perch severe-looking glasses on the end
Floyd | of his aquiline nose (which turns out not to be aquiline), ready to be
Floyd | loosed and removed respectively to reveal a surprisingly beautiful
Floyd | young woman. Man. S\he is simply rather bored-looking, and somewhat
Floyd | gender-ambiguous, sort of youth.
Floyd |
Floyd | The librarian returns and hands the tome to you wordlessly, before
Floyd | returning to h/er spot behind the counter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get ledger"

Floyd | You doubt the librarian will let you get away with that.
Floyd |
Floyd | The librarian returns and hands the tome to you wordlessly, before
Floyd | returning to h/er spot behind the counter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x paper"

Floyd | (the bundles of paper)
Floyd | Inspiring stuff, this.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x scrap of paper"

Floyd | Scrawled upon a scrap of paper is: "COME TO THE STATE OF NATURIST CAMP
Floyd | -- NASTY BRUTISH FUN FOR ALL!!!"
Floyd |

Floyd | This a file of administrative forms that have reached the highest
Floyd | level of bureaucratic perfection. In order to complete them they must
Floyd | be signed by the relevant officials, who will only sign the form if
Floyd | they are presented with the very same form already signed.
Floyd |

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "steal tome"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look through qualiascope at tome"

Floyd | That sounds like a terrific idea -- if only you had a qualiascope.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take skull"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get qualiascope"

Floyd | (putting the Encyclopaedia of Qualia into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look through qualiascope at tome"

Floyd | The scene through the qualiascope is rendered in monochrone,
Floyd | indicating a complete absence of consciousness.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "huh"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | There's a bloody furious cat in there -- an equally furious physicist
Floyd | is trying to force it into a box and close the lid, but is getting
Floyd | only bites and scratches for his troubles. You decide to leave them to
Floyd | it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "show tome to mary"

Floyd | Mary seems to take no notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to mary"

Floyd | Though as startled by you as ever, Mary greets you warmly. "Oh, hello
Floyd | again, dear! Did you think of something else?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Sorry, no. Still stuck. I'll leave you to it
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Oh, bye, dear," says Mary, turning back to her work. "Do come back if
Floyd | you think of something else, or have something interesting to show
Floyd | me."
Floyd |

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "The tome was a very plausible solution there, I'm surprised it didn't work"

smartgenes says, "i'm wondering if it's a bug"

DavidW says, "Or we phrased it wrong."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd |
Floyd | Roof
Floyd | The Chinese Room, you have discovered, is in the centre of a
Floyd | fantastical world, on a road leading north to woods and a hillside
Floyd | village and south to a cragtop castle. Wide plains spread out to the
Floyd | east, grassy dunes and a strip of sand border an ocean to the west,
Floyd | and above you Flying Spaghetti Monsters gambol in the updrafts. The
Floyd | roof of the Chinese Room is flat and covered with pitch, hot under the
Floyd | sun. On the east side of the building, a ladder leads down to the
Floyd | road.
Floyd |

Floyd | A steel ladder on the east side of the roof. It's not funny in any
Floyd | way. Steel seldom is.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "in"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "You want to enter the hatch?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter hatch"

Floyd |
Floyd | The Chinese Room
Floyd | It's a plain concrete box, equipped only with desk and chair. A
Floyd | computer sits on the desk, casting an insipid electronic glow over a
Floyd | stack of cards sitting by the keyboard. There's a slow drip from a
Floyd | damp patch up on the ceiling. Some grubby light seeps through a high
Floyd | window across onto the poster that dominates an entire wall. Across
Floyd | the top of the poster huge bold letters read "THE CHINESE ROOM".
Floyd | Underneath -- a string of Chinese characters.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "that's the one"

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "get typewriter"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get keyboard"

Floyd | That seems to be a part of the computer.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "There's no typewriter here. That's a computer."

inky asks, "did you try finding something for Mary that wasn't colored like she expected, like she said earlier?"

Lionheart says, "We're thinking the raven"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go hatch"

Floyd | You'll need to stand on that chair to reach the hatch.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "stand on chair"

Floyd | You stand on the chair. You can see your house from here! Well, you
Floyd | can't really, but you can reach the hatch.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go hatch"

Floyd | You haul yourself up through the hatch and scramble onto the roof of
Floyd | the Chinese Room, the hatch thudding shut behind you.
Floyd |
Floyd | Roof
Floyd | The Chinese Room, you have discovered, is in the centre of a
Floyd | fantastical world, on a road leading north to woods and a hillside
Floyd | village and south to a cragtop castle. Wide plains spread out to the
Floyd | east, grassy dunes and a strip of sand border an ocean to the west,
Floyd | and above you Flying Spaghetti Monsters gambol in the updrafts. The
Floyd | roof of the Chinese Room is flat and covered with pitch, hot under the
Floyd | sun. On the east side of the building, a ladder leads down to the
Floyd | road.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You shimmy down the ladder onto the road.
Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Striking out south towards the castle, you soon realise what it is
Floyd | that lurks so strangely at the base of the crag. As the rock looms
Floyd | over you like ten tonne weight over a hapless clown, the road becomes
Floyd | a pebbly path leading into what is clearly an enormous maze.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read sign"

Floyd | Attention, Adventurer! This MAZE is not for the FAINTHEARTED, nor for
Floyd | the CORRUPT. This is the MORAL MAZE, where only the truly ETHICAL
Floyd | shall pass. Should you find yourself LOST forever -- what can you do
Floyd | but PRAY?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "What about west of scarecrow?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | Leaving the road, you find yourself walking through squat dunes
Floyd | scrubby with beachgrass. Your feet leave a trail behind you in the
Floyd | otherwise undisturbed sand. Soon, the ocean emerges again from behind
Floyd | the dunes, more blue and sparkling than a busking saxophonist on an
Floyd | empty Christmas morning.
Floyd |
Floyd | You find yourself on a beach -- a strip of silvery sand bordering an
Floyd | ocean that seems truly boundless. You try and focus on the horizon,
Floyd | but find your attention wavering whenever you get close to pinning it
Floyd | down, as if there were a blind spot in your consciousness. The sea
Floyd | shimmers and shifts under your gaze. You shake your head, blinking,
Floyd | and make your way along the beach, feet sliding in the fine-grained
Floyd | sand, towards a few small figures further along.
Floyd |
Floyd | As you approach them, the figures -- two men dressed in white togas --
Floyd | turn to look at you. "By Zeus, Achilles!" says one to the other, "It
Floyd | looks like an adventurer has arrived."
Floyd |
Floyd | Before you can get a word in, the man -- an elderly, squat little
Floyd | Greek -- greets you effusively:
Floyd |
Floyd | "Welcome, adventurer! Well come indeed, oh yes. Very, very fortuitous
Floyd | indeed . . . " He tails off, and the other man glances at you,
Floyd | embarrassed.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hallo," he says, shuffling on his feet. "I'm Achilles."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Hello, Achilles.
Floyd | [2] What's going on here?
Floyd |

DavidW says, "oh, Zeno's paradox, I bet."

Lionheart asks, "Oh, hi Achilles. Is Ms. Tortoise about?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | There's an awkward moment while Achilles searches for something to say
Floyd | and the other man continues to mutter to himself. You hear bursts of
Floyd | numbers shooting off in all directions from him. "Oh!" says Achilles,
Floyd | inspiration striking. "This is Zeno. From Elea. He's very clever."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What's so clever about him?
Floyd | [2] Where's Elea? Is that the name of this place?
Floyd | [3] Hang on -- Zeno, Achilles . . . isn't there supposed to be a
Floyd | tortoise around here?
Floyd | [4] What's going on here?
Floyd |

Jizaboz says, "heh"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "Oh no, Elea is that place halfway between point A and point B. You'll
Floyd | never get there."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] What's going on here, then?
Floyd | [2] Hang on -- Zeno, Achilles . . . isn't there supposed to be a
Floyd | tortoise around here?
Floyd |

Floyd | "She's on tour with her Aunt Hillary in France," explains Achilles.
Floyd | "Said she was sick of being exploited by our patriarchal obsession
Floyd | with paradoxes and chauvanistic exploitation of her abilities, and
Floyd | wanted to be somewhere where she could truly be herself."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hence," says Zeno, "our problem."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So what is going on here, then?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "We're holding a race!" cries Zeno. "A great and magnificent race, of
Floyd | profound importance. But we've only got one racer."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Me," says Achilles.
Floyd |
Floyd | "And you can't hold a proper paradox with only one racer! It would be
Floyd | like holding a symposium with only one philosopher. Very boring. Not
Floyd | enough contradictions."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] And that's where I come in, is it?
Floyd | [2] Hang on, I think I see where this is going . . .
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Indeed! You look like you would make a fine racer."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Not a chance.
Floyd | [2] What's in it for me?
Floyd | [3] Gosh, thanks! I suppose when you put it like that . . .
Floyd |

Floyd | You're standing at the start line, stripped to your underwear. You
Floyd | made that much of a compromise with the two Greeks. Achilles,
Floyd | limbering up next to you, was not so modest. You feel like your
Floyd | eyeballs are being dragged on strings, downwards and sideways . . .
Floyd | You look away, blushing furiously, and crouch down, set, the aching
Floyd | vision of school P.E. lessons mugging you in memory alley.
Floyd |
Floyd | When Zeno shouts the go, there's a moment of blurred confusion as you
Floyd | both launch off. Your mind can't manage any complicated tasks, like
Floyd | managing sensory apparatus, when it's pumping your arms and legs this
Floyd | hard. When the mess of sensations starts to coalesce, you realise that
Floyd | Achilles has streaked (in every sense of the word) off in front of
Floyd | you, and is already nearly at the finish line. Oh, well. At least you
Floyd | tried.
Floyd |
Floyd | Achilles loops around the flagpole and jogs back to you. Soon he's
Floyd | bouncing up and down at your side, jiggling in a disconcerting way.
Floyd | "Come on!" he says. "You're halfway there!"
Floyd |
Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

Floyd | You plummet onwards down the track, Achilles keeping pace beside you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Only 1/8192 a millos to go! Don't want to give up, do you?"
Floyd |
Floyd | You tumble into a heap on the ground, utterly exhausted. Achilles lets
Floyd | out a sympathetic groan and picks you up bodily, throwing you over his
Floyd | shoulder, before jogging leisurely back to Zeno at the start line.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "lol"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | When you come to from your exhausted stupor, you see the two Greeks
Floyd | bending over you, concerned. Achilles (mercifully back in his toga)
Floyd | puts an amphora of wine to your lips, which you splutter away at,
Floyd | sitting up sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "A brave attempt, young adventurer!" says Zeno. "And, philosophically
Floyd | speaking, very interesting, yes, very interesting indeed . . ." He
Floyd | tails off again, and as you pick yourself up, Achilles looks at you
Floyd | regretfully.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "We ended up in Achilles's spot, I think"

DavidW says, "yes"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a non-black raven here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to raven"

Floyd | You don't want to talk to the non-black raven until you've given it
Floyd | some means of turning black.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give ink to raven"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "talk to raven"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take raven"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "oops sorry guys"

smartgenes says, "gonna go to the pump"

smartgenes says, "what was the format again"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about crow"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, but no intuition is forthcoming.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "The pump seems to give out too many hints."

Lionheart says, "I'd rather avoid the pump"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about mary"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, concentrating furiously. Mary seems
Floyd | awfully familiar. Better think about that. You muse for a while on
Floyd | what might happen if she saw something surprising -- like something
Floyd | coloured as it shouldn't be. That'd probably shock her into taking her
Floyd | goggles off in order to double-check, and who knows what'd happen if
Floyd | she did that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "okays"

DavidW says, "yeah, let's avoid the pump for now."

Lionheart says, "See, TMI"

smartgenes says, "clever way of gicing hints actually"

DavidW says, "It's not subtle enough."

Lionheart says, "It's a clever conceit for a hint system"

smartgenes says, "like how it's integrated int he game tho"

smartgenes says, "dinner"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter caf"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go caf"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "go cafe"

Floyd |
Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server is clattering away in the kitchen behind the kiosk, making
Floyd | loud sweary noises.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "oh yeah the missing diacritic"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "read menu"

smartgenes says, "i thought it was a joke the first time.. caff or caf.. slang"

Floyd | You'd better not speak to him, in case he asks for his wallet back.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "The sorbet uses the same claret that Aristotle wants."

Lionheart says, "When we tried ordering it before, she said the fridge was broken, though."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x fridge"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "leave"

Floyd | You'll have to say which compass direction to go in.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to server"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | There's a bloody furious cat in there -- an equally furious physicist
Floyd | is trying to force it into a box and close the lid, but is getting
Floyd | only bites and scratches for his troubles. You decide to leave them to
Floyd | it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a manual here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give encyclopaedia"

Floyd | (to Mary)
Floyd | Mary doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take manual"

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x manual"

Floyd | The manual is a thick, leather-bound tome with THE RULES embossed in
Floyd | gold on the cover. The whole process adds up to a syntactical method
Floyd | for answering questions about badgers in Chinese. You can't imagine
Floyd | why.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "show encyclopaedia"

Floyd | (to Mary)
Floyd | Mary seems to take no notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put manual in sack"

Floyd | You put the manual into the sack.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We tried that already."

smartgenes says, "we can swap the weight"

DavidW says, "We wanted to try taking the raven to her."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "find a bat"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd | You'd better not unless you can get that cube to return to her.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "what were the other objects.. golden rule"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I suspect we want to keep the cube for now."

smartgenes says, "who was nagel"

DavidW says, "Bat guy."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "show encyclopaedia to nagel"

Floyd | Nagel seems to take no notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "The tome ought to tell him what bats are like."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take tome"

Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "show tome to nagel"

Floyd | Nagel seems to take no notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give tome to nagel"

Floyd | Nagel doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "show encylopedia to nagel"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x coin"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "nagel, read about bats in tome"

Floyd | Your command falls on deaf ears. Perhaps you should TALK TO them about
Floyd | it?
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "look up bats in tome"

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to nagel"

Floyd | Nagel notices you and grabs your shoulders with both hands. His eyes
Floyd | boring into yours, he whispers. "Can you tell me what it is like? What
Floyd | it is like . . . to be a bat?" This said, he seems to forget what he's
Floyd | doing, and returns to his dissection, muttering all the while.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "consult tome about bats"

Floyd | Apparently this is an Encyclopaedia of Qualia. It's the colour
Floyd | edition. Opening it, you suddenly become overwhelmed by a veritable
Floyd | rainbow of sensations -- the smell of coffee, the feel of mist, the
Floyd | indescribable feeling you get when you've just dropped an egg. Looking
Floyd | down at the text, you realise that it consists of a
Floyd | carefully-organised catalogue of all the world's possible sensations,
Floyd | and as you read the name of each it washes over you. You snap the book
Floyd | shut before you become completely overcome.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i'm thinking we just need to have a bat and the qualiascope to show him"

Lionheart says, "Oh yeah, the scope"

smartgenes says, "how to resolve the argument about the tree"

DavidW says, "hm. I doubt the scope will help, but sure, try it."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I think we need earplugs for the lumberjack."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give imperitavator to lumberjack"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

djfletch asks, "have we been north from where the woman was being burnt?"

smartgenes says, "nope"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "nope"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Mill
Floyd | You trek down the side of the first hill, sniffing the daffodils
Floyd | resentfully as you go, and then begin your climb up the next. That
Floyd | feeling of the path shifting helpfully beneath your feet continues, no
Floyd | matter how much you try and kick the hillside into submission. The sun
Floyd | smiles. You breathe a deep, almost contented sigh.
Floyd |
Floyd | And then throw yourself to the ground as an enormous screaming mare
Floyd | gallops madly down the side of the hill, dragging a shattered cart
Floyd | behind her. You pick yourself up as she thunders off into the
Floyd | distance, now properly content that this world continues to be
Floyd | completely insane, and climb on upwards.
Floyd |
Floyd | Passing a sign for "John Stuart's Livery and Corn-Processors", you
Floyd | reach the crest of the hill and realise just what made the horse
Floyd | gallop. The windmill here is aflame and billowing smoke, its sails
Floyd | spinning madly.You cover your face from the unbearable heat of the
Floyd | burning mill -- and then you hear the screams from inside.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "eep"

smartgenes says, "more fires"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You'd rather not do any more hillwalking today --unless it's back
Floyd | south towards the village.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "more puzzles."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to pirate"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "why didn't we go in the mill?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "it's on fire"

DavidW says, "But you didn't even try!"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Mill
Floyd | You cover your face from the unbearable heat of the burning mill --
Floyd | and then you hear the screams from inside.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter mill"

Floyd | Inside the Mill
Floyd | Sheilding your face from the fire and smoke, and momentarily
Floyd | questioning your sanity as you do so, you push your way through the
Floyd | door into the windmill. Wooden beams are crashing down around you in
Floyd | arcs of flame as you search for the source of the screams. Then you
Floyd | see them, trapped behind some arcane grinding machinery -- a huge man
Floyd | dressed in robes and an archbishop's mitre, and a small woman in a
Floyd | French maid's uniform.
Floyd |
Floyd | You pick your way through the burning wreckage in an effort to reach
Floyd | them, and then you pull back in horror. Just as you realise that the
Floyd | man is the Archbishop of Cambray, instantly recognisable from his
Floyd | regular appearances in the pages of The Guardian, so too do you
Floyd | realise that the woman is -- your mother.
Floyd |
Floyd | Her screaming and his bellowing snap you back to the urgency of the
Floyd | situation. The mill is crashing round about you and you have just time
Floyd | to enact a daring rescue. But with mounting horror you realise that
Floyd | you can't possibly carry both of them at once -- indeed, you may only
Floyd | be able to rescue one of them. But who?
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "oops i thought it was north, you see"

DavidW says, "MOM!"

DavidW says, "rescue mom, please"

smartgenes says, "anything to do with Mill's philosophy"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "think about mill"

Floyd | John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873) was a British ethical and political
Floyd | philosopher, and a public intellectual. He was the foremost proponent
Floyd | of utlitarianism, and also an early and formative theoriser of the
Floyd | liberal social state.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf7"

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "rescue mother"

Floyd | Grabbing her left leg, you drag your mother heroically from the
Floyd | burning mill. As soon as she is clear of the building it explodes in a
Floyd | melodramatic and highly implausible inferno, from which rolls, rather
Floyd | pitifully, the Archbishop's mitre. You watch it spin to a halt as your
Floyd | mother swoons on the grass.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get mitre"

Floyd | You think perhaps you'd better leave it be.
Floyd |

Jizaboz hops on his skateboard and rolls out.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to mother"

Floyd | Before you can say "Oedipus Complex", she smothers you with gratitude,
Floyd | wipes your face and departs, leaving you with a feeling of warmth and
Floyd | a used handkerchief.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x handkerchief"

Floyd | A handkerchief, slightly scented, slightly used.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "xmell it"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "smell it"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You smell nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | You'd rather not do any more hillwalking today --unless it's back
Floyd | south towards the village.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x mill"

Floyd | You search through the ruined mill and find a bucket of pitch
Floyd | strangely untouched by the explosion.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "smell handkerchief"

Floyd | You smell nothing unexpected.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take pitch"

Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "that was easier than expected"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You'd rather not do any more hillwalking today --unless it's back
Floyd | south towards the village.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a non-black raven here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give bucket to raven"

Floyd | The raven caws in despair. "Look, it's hopeless. I'll take the bucket
Floyd | of pitch as a gift but I know I'll never be able to use it to change
Floyd | colour. I guess I'll always be bright and cheery."
Floyd |
Floyd | Sobbing slightly, the raven pulls back the brambles before flying off.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x brambles"

Floyd | The brambles are pulled back, allowing you to pass through them to the
Floyd | cave beyond."
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter cave"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go cave"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "west"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Darkness
Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

Floyd | (putting the Encyclopaedia of Qualia into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the lantern doesn't light"

inky says (to Floyd), "take lantern"

Floyd | (putting the qualiascope into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "light lantern"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x lantern"

Floyd | The glass part of the lantern is broken, so that the feeblest of winds
Floyd | would soon extinguish the fire within.
Floyd |

gjnave arrives, full of funk, but no fun.

inky says (to Floyd), "turn on lantern"

Floyd | That's not something you can switch.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x fire"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x lighter"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |
Floyd | It a bit old and creaky, but it gives a serviceable spark.
Floyd |

inky says, "hmm"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "burn paper"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "fix lantern"

Floyd | What do you want to fix the broken lantern to?
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "repair lantern"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Darkness
Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "oh, the cave is probably Plato's Cave, I bet."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x files"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x file"

Floyd | This a file of administrative forms that have reached the highest
Floyd | level of bureaucratic perfection. In order to complete them they must
Floyd | be signed by the relevant officials, who will only sign the form if
Floyd | they are presented with the very same form already signed.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to scarecrow"

Floyd | He's hardly in any state for idle chit-chat.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "repair scarecrow"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "we could attempt the maze"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east.
Floyd |

inky asks, "did you find any eggs on the beach?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x beach"

Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x dunes"

Floyd | These are the dunes between the beach and the road; they act as a
Floyd | buffer for the sea breeze. A few small birds flit between them
Floyd | skittishly.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "search dunes"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "dig"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "x birds"

Floyd | You walk towards the little birds, curious.
Floyd |
Floyd | Sand Dune
Floyd | As you approach the dune, the little bird you followed here -- a tiny
Floyd | white and grey little thing with a black collar, like a vicar in
Floyd | negative -- flits off out of sight. You soon realise its business
Floyd | here: this is where it has made its nest.
Floyd |
Floyd | The beach lies southwest of here.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "So how many things are we looking for now? A source of light, something unexpected coloured, a typewriter, wine, ...?"

inky says (to Floyd), "x nest"

Floyd | A rough and ready little home built out of seaside debris. In it
Floyd | cluster a handful of tiny speckled eggs.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "get eggs"

Floyd | (putting the handkerchief into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Feeling truly barbaric, you scoop up the eggs in your hand and walk as
Floyd | fast as you can back to the beach to avoid looking the little bird in
Floyd | the eye.
Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

inky says, "now you can go to the cafe"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put weight on achilles"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | It's a lead cube. That would seem to be it, though it feels rather
Floyd | heavier than it should.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put cube on achilles"

Floyd | You need to be holding the Categorical Imperativator before you can
Floyd | put it on top of something else.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get cube"

Floyd | Philosophers are not yet supermen.
Floyd |

inky says, "you had, but apparently you had to examine the birds"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "hold cube"

Floyd | Philosophers are not yet supermen.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "no, we hadn't visited before."

DavidW says, "smartg here keeps u-turning."

inky says, "oh, hunh"

inky says, "I thought we had been here for the race"

DavidW says, "Nope."

smartgenes says, "i was looking for this eggs thing"

smartgenes says, "but you already did it cos of inky's spoilers"

DavidW says, "We tried the race but never went west."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You'd only get wet.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "ne"

Floyd |
Floyd | Sand Dune
Floyd | As you approach the dune, the little bird you followed here -- a tiny
Floyd | white and grey little thing with a black collar, like a vicar in
Floyd | negative -- flits off out of sight. You soon realise its business
Floyd | here: this is where it has made its nest.
Floyd |
Floyd | The beach lies southwest of here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x nest"

Floyd | A rough and ready little home built out of seaside debris.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "oh ne. I thought it was west of Zeno."

smartgenes says, "how did we get it.. did we actually go ne"

DavidW says, "I knew we hadn't gone past."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "sw"

Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

inky says, "I examined the dunes and then examined the birds"

inky says, "and it said you followed the birds to its nest"

inky says, "which I guess was ne"

DavidW says, "Anyway, I suppose we should break eggs for an omelet."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

DavidW says, "At the cafe, of course."

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go cafe"

Floyd |
Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server is clattering away in the kitchen behind the kiosk, making
Floyd | loud sweary noises.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "eat"

Floyd | What do you want to eat?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "food"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Don't know how to attract the server, though."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "wave handkerchief"

Floyd | But you aren't holding that.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to server"

Floyd | You'd rather not disturb her when she's having so much trouble in the
Floyd | kitchen. Not unless you've got an extra-special present for her or
Floyd | something.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "give eggs to server"

Floyd | You head nervously into the kitchen, where you find the server
Floyd | struggling with a frying pan. Hearing you enter, she spins around,
Floyd | brandishing the pan. "You can bloody well forget about those
Floyd | sausages!" she screams at you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "That's OK," you say. "I've got a wonderful surprise for you!
Floyd |
Floyd | Putting down the pan, she lights a cigarette on the stove, puffs
Floyd | sulkily on it, and says, "Oh yeah? What?"
Floyd |
Floyd | You brandish your plovers" eggs at her with a "ta-da!" and suddenly
Floyd | all her winsomeness returns. "Darling!" she says, hugging you. "Just
Floyd | what I always wanted!" She rummages in a cupboard and brings out a
Floyd | bottle. She thrusts it at you and says, "Now sod off and leave me
Floyd | alone."
Floyd |

inky says, "oho"

inky says (to Floyd), "x bottle"

Floyd | It appears to be a rather fine claret. Brushing some dust from it, you
Floyd | spot the vintage. Goodness, this is pre-phyllorexa claret! How
Floyd | extraordinary!
Floyd |

inky says, "not that I know what this is for"

inky says, "but I know we wanted it"

smartgenes says, "philosopher in pub"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "ok, we know we want the wine for Aristotle."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter tavern"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates nonsensically picking apart
Floyd | Monkey Island. The only one not joining in seems to be Aristotle, who
Floyd | is sitting glumly in the corner. In the eastern wall is the back door
Floyd | through which Mill threw himself earlier.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give bottle"

Floyd | Whom do you want to give the a bottle of pre-phyllorexa claret to?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "aristotle"

Floyd | "Splendid! Aristotle cries. "You actually managed it! For a moment
Floyd | there I thought I might have to compromise and drink the shoe polish
Floyd | they serve here."
Floyd |
Floyd | He pulls out a book from the recesses of his raiments and hands it to
Floyd | you. "A token of my appreciation -- I do hope you enjoy it. Just keep
Floyd | it away from this lot or they'll scribble footnotes all over it," he
Floyd | says, waving at the drunken philosophers, before turning his attention
Floyd | to the bottle with a satisfied gleam in his eyes.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x book"

Floyd | The manual is a thick, leather-bound tome with THE RULES embossed in
Floyd | gold on the cover. The whole process adds up to a syntactical method
Floyd | for answering questions about badgers in Chinese. You can't imagine
Floyd | why.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read rules"

Floyd | The manual is a thick, leather-bound tome with THE RULES embossed in
Floyd | gold on the cover. The whole process adds up to a syntactical method
Floyd | for answering questions about badgers in Chinese. You can't imagine
Floyd | why.
Floyd |

Floyd | The Complete Works of Plato -- unabridged and unmolested.
Floyd |

inky says (to Floyd), "read works"

Floyd | The Complete Works of Plato -- unabridged and unmolested.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "damn the poor synonym handling."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open works"

Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "read works"

Floyd | The Complete Works of Plato -- unabridged and unmolested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i think give book to librarian"

smartgenes says, "then she "allow" us to take the book"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "hm. Maybe. Or show the works to Plato and the others."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give plato to librarian"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give works to librarian"

Floyd | "I thought you might have a use for a clean copy," you say, offering
Floyd | the book.
Floyd |
Floyd | You think for a moment a smile might have crossed the librarian's
Floyd | face. "Thanks," s/he says, if somewhat grudgingly. "Have a banana."
Floyd |
Floyd | To your surprise s/he does actually produce the fruit from underneath
Floyd | the desk and hands it to you, somewhat abashedly.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "have a banana"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x banana"

Floyd | Yellow and bent, like a politician.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x banana"

Floyd | Yellow and bent, like a politician.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "eat it and throw it to slip up the race?"

DavidW says, "so uh... yeah, that was my thought."

gjnave says (to floyd), "peel banana"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "save first"

smartgenes says, "yeh"

djfletch says, "did we find where the raven went? Maybe it found Mary."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf8"

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We haven't re-found the raven, no"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh no, I'm afraid that would foul all the calculations. We'd only
Floyd | need one of those to compensate for some flaw or other in the race
Floyd | track -- and just look at it! Aren't those lanes perfect? Can you
Floyd | manage without?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Hmm . . . nah, I'll pass this time.
Floyd | [2] Well, alright, I'll still give it another go.
Floyd |

Floyd | You're standing at the start line, stripped to your underwear. You
Floyd | made that much of a compromise with the two Greeks. Achilles,
Floyd | limbering up next to you, was not so modest. You feel like your
Floyd | eyeballs are being dragged on strings, downwards and sideways . . .
Floyd | You look away, blushing furiously, and crouch down, set, the aching
Floyd | vision of school P.E. lessons mugging you in memory alley.
Floyd |
Floyd | When Zeno shouts the go, there's a moment of blurred confusion as you
Floyd | both launch off. Your mind can't manage any complicated tasks, like
Floyd | managing sensory apparatus, when it's pumping your arms and legs this
Floyd | hard. When the mess of sensations starts to coalesce, you realise that
Floyd | Achilles has streaked (in every sense of the word) off in front of
Floyd | you, and is already nearly at the finish line. Oh, well. At least you
Floyd | tried.
Floyd |
Floyd | Achilles loops around the flagpole and jogs back to you. Soon he's
Floyd | bouncing up and down at your side, jiggling in a disconcerting way.
Floyd | "Come on!" he says. "You're halfway there!"
Floyd |
Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw banana"

Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give up"

Floyd | You tumble into a heap on the ground, utterly exhausted. Achilles lets
Floyd | out a sympathetic groan and picks you up bodily, throwing you over his
Floyd | shoulder, before jogging leisurely back to Zeno at the start line.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw banana"

Floyd | When you come to from your exhausted stupor, you see the two Greeks
Floyd | bending over you, concerned. Achilles (mercifully back in his toga)
Floyd | puts an amphora of wine to your lips, which you splutter away at,
Floyd | sitting up sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "A brave attempt, young adventurer!" says Zeno. "And, philosophically
Floyd | speaking, very interesting, yes, very interesting indeed . . ." He
Floyd | tails off again, and as you pick yourself up, Achilles looks at you
Floyd | regretfully.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh no, I'm afraid that would foul all the calculations. We'd only
Floyd | need one of those to compensate for some flaw or other in the race
Floyd | track -- and just look at it! Aren't those lanes perfect? Can you
Floyd | manage without?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Hmm . . . nah, I'll pass this time.
Floyd | [2] Well, alright, I'll still give it another go.
Floyd |

Floyd | You're standing at the start line, stripped to your underwear. You
Floyd | made that much of a compromise with the two Greeks. Achilles,
Floyd | limbering up next to you, was not so modest. You feel like your
Floyd | eyeballs are being dragged on strings, downwards and sideways . . .
Floyd | You look away, blushing furiously, and crouch down, set, the aching
Floyd | vision of school P.E. lessons mugging you in memory alley.
Floyd |
Floyd | When Zeno shouts the go, there's a moment of blurred confusion as you
Floyd | both launch off. Your mind can't manage any complicated tasks, like
Floyd | managing sensory apparatus, when it's pumping your arms and legs this
Floyd | hard. When the mess of sensations starts to coalesce, you realise that
Floyd | Achilles has streaked (in every sense of the word) off in front of
Floyd | you, and is already nearly at the finish line. Oh, well. At least you
Floyd | tried.
Floyd |
Floyd | Achilles loops around the flagpole and jogs back to you. Soon he's
Floyd | bouncing up and down at your side, jiggling in a disconcerting way.
Floyd | "Come on!" he says. "You're halfway there!"
Floyd |
Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

Floyd | You plummet onwards down the track, Achilles keeping pace beside you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Only 1/8192 a millos to go! You can do it!"
Floyd |
Floyd | You tumble into a heap on the ground, utterly exhausted. Achilles lets

inky says (to Floyd), "eat banana"

Floyd | out a sympathetic groan and picks you up bodily, throwing you over his
Floyd | shoulder, before jogging leisurely back to Zeno at the start line.
Floyd |
Floyd | When you come to from your exhausted stupor, you see the two Greeks
Floyd | bending over you, concerned. Achilles (mercifully back in his toga)
Floyd | puts an amphora of wine to your lips, which you splutter away at,
Floyd | sitting up sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "A brave attempt, young adventurer!" says Zeno. "And, philosophically
Floyd | speaking, very interesting, yes, very interesting indeed . . ." He
Floyd | tails off again, and as you pick yourself up, Achilles looks at you
Floyd | regretfully.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Take the banana to the barbershop and dye it another colour."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go barbershop"

Floyd |
Floyd | Barbershop
Floyd | The barber is still here, snipping away happily at his bald client.
Floyd | You sit on the bench next to the stand of dye, waiting.
Floyd |

Floyd | You need to be holding the phial of red dye before you can put it on
Floyd | top of something else.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take red dye"

Floyd | The barber winks at you, "One per customer. If you change your mind
Floyd | put one back on the stand and take another.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "ah and then give it to Mary"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "dye banana"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "hm. I guess we can't use these dyes since we took the black one."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put banana in red dye"

Floyd | This sort of dye involves powder and ammonia and would be a big hassle
Floyd | to use on a banana. Surely there's a simpler way.
Floyd |

gjnave says (to floyd), "pour dye on banana"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put banana in white dye"

Floyd | This sort of dye involves powder and ammonia and would be a big hassle
Floyd | to use on a banana. Surely there's a simpler way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "it's been a fairly generous game so i don't think we've done anything irrevocable"

gjnave says (to floyd), "open dye"

Floyd | Which do you mean, the phial of red dye or the phial of white dye?
Floyd |

DavidW says, "oh, the inkwell"

gjnave says (to floyd), "red"

Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

Floyd | The librarian spots you and says, "What do you want this time?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Still got no Plato I can read?
Floyd | [2] Er, I was wondering if, maybe, you could see your way to getting
Floyd | that Encyclopaedia for me again?
Floyd | [3] Oh, nothing. I just wanted to annoy you, actually.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The librarian shakes h/er head sullenly.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "even though we gave her Plato"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to librarian"

Floyd | The librarian spots you and says, "What do you want this time?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Still got no Plato I can read?
Floyd | [2] Er, I was wondering if, maybe, you could see your way to getting
Floyd | that Encyclopaedia for me again?
Floyd | [3] Oh, nothing. I just wanted to annoy you, actually.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | The librarian glares at you, but heads off to the shelves to fetch the
Floyd | book.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put banana in inkwell"

Floyd | You dip one end into the inkwell, and then the other end. It's messy,
Floyd | but the result is a rather handsome blue banana.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You're still waiting for that book.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x banana"

Floyd | Bent and blue, like a police officer.
Floyd |
Floyd | The librarian returns and hands the tome to you wordlessly, before
Floyd | returning to h/er spot behind the counter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You already know the librarian won't let you leave while you've still
Floyd | got that Encyclopaedia, so you hand it back to h/er before leaving.
Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

Jizaboz arrives, full of neither funk nor fun.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | There's a bloody furious cat in there -- an equally furious physicist
Floyd | is trying to force it into a box and close the lid, but is getting
Floyd | only bites and scratches for his troubles. You decide to leave them to
Floyd | it.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give banana to mary"

Floyd | You flourish the blue banana in Mary's direction. She squints at it,
Floyd | seeming a little confused. "There's something very odd about that
Floyd | banana," she says. "I think it's blue. You'd better not eat it," she
Floyd | counsels, motherly.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No," you say. "It's a perfectly ordinary yellow banana. Why don't you
Floyd | take those goggles off and check?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Well, if you're sure, dear, then I suppose I'd better," says Mary,
Floyd | fiddling with the strap. "I must have made a mistake in my
Floyd | calculations somewhere."
Floyd |
Floyd | Struggling with them a little, she pulls the goggles from her head.
Floyd | Blinking, her jaw drops wide open, and she looks about herself in
Floyd | wonderment. "Colours!" she whispers weakly, her knees buckling. "After
Floyd | all this time . . . I never knew . . ." She lets out a small,
Floyd | satisfied sound -- and faints on the spot.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to mary"

Floyd | Though as startled by you as ever, Mary greets you warmly. "Oh, hello
Floyd | again, dear! Did you think of something else?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Sorry, no. Still stuck. I'll leave you to it
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Oh, bye, dear," says Mary, turning back to her work. "Do come back if
Floyd | you think of something else, or have something interesting to show
Floyd | me."
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take goggles"

Floyd | You really don't think you can muck about with the goggles -- Mary
Floyd | seems very protective of them. If you want her to take them off,
Floyd | you'll have to give her a very good reason to check out some colours.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "show tome to mary"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "wait, what did you do?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "show encyclopedia to mary"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get goggles"

Floyd | You really don't think you can muck about with the goggles -- Mary
Floyd | seems very protective of them. If you want her to take them off,
Floyd | you'll have to give her a very good reason to check out some colours.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"

Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give banana"

Floyd | (to Mary)
Floyd | You flourish the blue banana in Mary's direction. She squints at it,
Floyd | seeming a little confused. "There's something very odd about that
Floyd | banana," she says. "I think it's blue. You'd better not eat it," she
Floyd | counsels, motherly.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No," you say. "It's a perfectly ordinary yellow banana. Why don't you
Floyd | take those goggles off and check?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Well, if you're sure, dear, then I suppose I'd better," says Mary,
Floyd | fiddling with the strap. "I must have made a mistake in my
Floyd | calculations somewhere."
Floyd |
Floyd | Struggling with them a little, she pulls the goggles from her head.
Floyd | Blinking, her jaw drops wide open, and she looks about herself in
Floyd | wonderment. "Colours!" she whispers weakly, her knees buckling. "After
Floyd | all this time . . . I never knew . . ." She lets out a small,
Floyd | satisfied sound -- and faints on the spot.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get goggles"

Floyd | You really don't think you can muck about with the goggles -- Mary
Floyd | seems very protective of them. If you want her to take them off,
Floyd | you'll have to give her a very good reason to check out some colours.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x mary"

Floyd | Mary is lying prone on the floor, unconscious, with with a peculiar
Floyd | smile playing about her lips.
Floyd |

gjnave arrives, full of fun and funk.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass.
Floyd |
Floyd | Poor Mary is lying collapsed on the floor, though she seems not
Floyd | unhappy about it..
Floyd |

Floyd | You've no time to muck about with computers. You're passing this on to
Floyd | someone who needs it as quickly as possible, before electronic
Floyd | entertainment serves as a distraction from the task at hand. You hate
Floyd | it when people play games instead of doing important things.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Marx"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give laptop to marx"

Floyd | You place the laptop on Marx's desk with a triumphant thunk. The old
Floyd | man looks up at you. "Liebling!" he cries, breathless. "Not just a
Floyd | typewriter, but a word processor capable of printing multiple copies!
Floyd | This will not be forgotten after the revolution! In the meantime,
Floyd | please take this precious copy Manifesto," he says, pressing the typed
Floyd | manuscript into your hands, "and may it guide you to your unchaining!"
Floyd | With these words he turns back to his work and begins typing
Floyd | furiously.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x manifesto"

Floyd | You flip to the back page. "You have nothing to lose but your chains"?
Floyd | Fiery stuff; enough to rouse anyone from their dogmatic slumber.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read manifesto"

Floyd | You flip to the back page. "You have nothing to lose but your chains"?
Floyd | Fiery stuff; enough to rouse anyone from their dogmatic slumber.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open manifesto"

Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 41 out of a possible 100 in 746 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "unchaining"

DavidW asks, "hm. I'm not sure who the manifesto would be for. The homunculi? Or someone we haven't met yet?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give manifesto to lumberjack"

Floyd | The lumberjack doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give manifesto to monk"

Floyd | The Buddhist monk doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, typing furiously.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Did you try the cube with the lumberjack?"

DavidW says, "Damn you move quickly"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give manifesto to librarian"

Floyd | The librarian doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "I'm guessing the imperative is for the moral maze somehow"

inky asks, "the manifesto is for someone sleeping, right?"

inky says, "or maybe 'fiery'"

smartgenes says, "lets try maze then"

smartgenes says, "hey less hints"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

inky says, "these aren't hints"

inky says, "I don't really remember much about the game"

inky says, "I'm just going by what the text is saying"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x hedgerows"

Floyd | You can't tell from here, but it looks like the road turns into a
Floyd | small path that in turn vanishes into some peculariarly cut hedges.
Floyd | Curiouser and curiouser.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "well the last one about the eggs was a giveaway"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Striking out south towards the castle, you soon realise what it is
Floyd | that lurks so strangely at the base of the crag. As the rock looms
Floyd | over you like ten tonne weight over a hapless clown, the road becomes
Floyd | a pebbly path leading into what is clearly an enormous maze.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You step tentatively into the maze, looking askance at the lump of
Floyd | lead. Approaching a moral dilemma, it starts whirring wildly, and
Floyd | glowing cracks in the cube appear. It begins to unfold into an
Floyd | astonishingly complex device -- an array of dishes and balances, with
Floyd | an arrow mounted on top. With little else to do you follow the arrow
Floyd | past the dilemma. And then past the next -- and the next. Moral
Floyd | dilemmas seem not to be dilemmas at all before its power, and soon you
Floyd | emerge from the maze, breathless, at the foot of the crag that looms
Floyd | over this land.
Floyd |
Floyd | A winding path leads up the side of the crag, and you follow it,
Floyd | huffing and puffing, until you reach the top. Here, looming
Floyd | dangerously atop the already looming crag, sits a gigantic loom. No, a
Floyd | gigantic castle -- you were confused for a minute there. Behind you,
Floyd | this crazy world stretches out below. You take a deep breath. You
Floyd | feel, somehow, that you are near your goal -- whatever that may be..
Floyd |
Floyd | At the Foot of an Ivory Tower
Floyd | You are in a paved courtyard before the castle. Here, true to form, an
Floyd | ivory tower towers above you, the result of a billion poaching
Floyd | expeditions or more. Similarly true, a guard guards the broad stairs
Floyd | leading up to the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | Below you is the vertiginous path down the side of the crag -- and
Floyd | below that stretches the world. The strangest thing of all, however,
Floyd | is the faint and ominous organ music on the periphery of your hearing.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the weight was for the maze.."

DavidW says, "oh yay"

smartgenes says, "why i'm not sure"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | You can't make out the tune, but it seems fairly ominous and, if not
Floyd | penultimate, at least penpenpenpenultimate.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "up"

Floyd | You step up to the steps, whistling. The guard, clanking in her
Floyd | armour, steps resolutely in front of you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No!" she says, pre-empting the merry greeting you had planned. "I
Floyd | shan't let you past. For I know that I am a guard and that guards
Floyd | guard, and thus I will guard this tower from you.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to guard"

Floyd | You step up to the steps, whistling. The guard, clanking in her
Floyd | armour, steps resolutely in front of you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Go away," says the guard. "If I'm assured anything, it's that I'm
Floyd | assured of things and one thing I'm assured of is that I don't want
Floyd | you to pass. This I'm sure of."
Floyd |

DavidW says, "oh, and we have a zombie to kill. And we never reentered the church."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x guard"

Floyd | The guard is decked out from head to foot in an oversized suit of
Floyd | armour, and is carrying an nasty-looking sword. The only part of the
Floyd | guard you can see are a pair of sparkling blue eyes glowing with
Floyd | righteous clarity.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the zombie is killed with the axe"

DavidW says, "We're guessing that."

smartgenes says, "gotten by solving that argument about the tree-sound"

smartgenes says, "yeah, guesses"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "d"

Floyd | You pick your way back down the crag, leaving that penultimate-looking
Floyd | tower behind you. You're now able to make your way through the maze
Floyd | with ease, and you're soon back on the other side.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x hedges"

Floyd | Dark and daunting.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | On the Edge of the Plains
Floyd | The plains seem folornly empty now that the unicorn's non-existence
Floyd | has been firmly proven. There is nothing here for you.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | The plains are too vast and empty for that to be a pleasurable walk.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "lift pole"

Floyd | You must supply a second noun.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put handkerchief on pole"

Floyd | Putting things on the pole would achieve nothing.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Did you try the manifesto on the guard?"

smartgenes says, "i'm thinking a bit obtuse now"

inky has had his fill of playing for now, and goes back to the Lounge.

smartgenes says, "yeah i did"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Try revisiting the church. Is the bride still there?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go church"

Floyd |
Floyd | Church
Floyd | The church appears to have made up its mind about its own interior,
Floyd | plumping for a simple majesty in stone and wood. As the door creaks
Floyd | gracefully closed behind you, you survey your surroundings: the oak
Floyd | pews lining the nave, the beautiful arched stone roof, the carved
Floyd | pulpit at the head of the church and, behind it, an enormous tapestry
Floyd | depicting -- nothing?
Floyd |
Floyd | In one of the pews a woman in full bridal gear sits, weeping to
Floyd | herself.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x pews"

Floyd | Once imposing rows of oak seating, the effect has been somewhat
Floyd | diminished by the hardy endeavours of bored worshippers equipped with
Floyd | pocket-knives. The pews now provide an education of biblical
Floyd | proportions for any inquisitve youngster in the arts of caricature,
Floyd | aphorism and sex miseducation.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give handkerchief to bride"

Floyd | The bride looks at your proferred hanky, at takes it gratefully.
Floyd | Casting the soaked veil aside, she blows her nose with a foghorn
Floyd | bellow and looks folornly at the altar.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take veil"

Floyd | You pick up the veil and wring it out. On examining it, you realise
Floyd | that the fine lacework spells out a word: Ignorance. Curiouser and
Floyd | curiouser. Um. More curious.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "huh i thought u just tried that"

smartgenes says, "ah missed "d""

DavidW says, "I missed a 'd'."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x altar"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to bride"

Floyd | After she's fully evacuated her nose into your hanky she hands it back
Floyd | to you. You look at it, aghast at the vast quantities of snot therein.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] That's OK. You can keep it.
Floyd | [2] Best hold on to that. Better now?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x ignorance"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "A little," she says, in a very small voice, and proceeds to snort out
Floyd | an even more prolific stream.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Well, that's good to hear. Do you think it would help to talk
Floyd | about what's bothering you?
Floyd | [2] Sweet. Glad to help. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on . . .
Floyd | [3] Why the long face, anyway?
Floyd |

Floyd | You pat her awkwardly on the shoulder, and wait for the tears to dry
Floyd | up. It takes a while. Then she sits up, takes a deep breath, and
Floyd | begins:
Floyd |
Floyd | "We'd been engaged for months, and deeply in love for years before.
Floyd | We'd prepared for today for weeks and weeks, and it was all meant to
Floyd | be so -- so perfect. But I knew something was wrong. There's been
Floyd | something wrong with him for a few days now. Ever since he picked up a
Floyd | logic textbook.
Floyd |
Floyd | "He started to get this awkward look in his eyes when we talked about
Floyd | the wedding. He'd dodge the subject. But he never said he'd do this!
Floyd | Leave me standing at the altar like an unwanted pudding!
Floyd |
Floyd | "I waited for an hour. The guests all started to leave. His family
Floyd | scarpered and mine chased after them. Then it was just me, when his
Floyd | best man came and told me what had happened.
Floyd |
Floyd | "He'd realised he couldn't marry me. The book had told him. Decades of
Floyd | the world's most pre-eminent philosophers have said it. He was a
Floyd | bachelor. And all bachelors are unmarried men."
Floyd |
Floyd | The bride sighs, hiccups, and then, just as you think she's about to
Floyd | recover, dissolves into another bout of sobbing. You decide that now
Floyd | is probably the most tactful time to leave, and vow to be more
Floyd | original in your logic examples in future.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the puzzles are generally quite simple"

DavidW says, "I'm not sure what we did there."

smartgenes says, "we comforted her"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Church
Floyd | The church appears to have made up its mind about its own interior,
Floyd | plumping for a simple majesty in stone and wood. As the door creaks
Floyd | gracefully closed behind you, you survey your surroundings: the oak
Floyd | pews lining the nave, the beautiful arched stone roof, the carved
Floyd | pulpit at the head of the church and, behind it, an enormous tapestry
Floyd | depicting -- nothing?
Floyd |
Floyd | In one of the pews a woman in full bridal gear sits, weeping to
Floyd | herself.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x woman"

Floyd | She's like a very damp pile of meringues, and she's getting damper by
Floyd | the second.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to her"

Floyd | You don't think there's much you can do for her at the moment.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pulpit"

Floyd | An huge oak platform with an overarching sound-board; you imagine a
Floyd | preacher could boom out from here.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sound-board"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "move pulpit"

Floyd | Philosophers are not yet supermen.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x door"

Floyd | The heavy wooden portal at the southwest end of the church leads back
Floyd | to the village street. It's covered with some very peculiar carvings.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "get in pulpit"

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x carvings"

Floyd | These relief carvings appear to show a sequence of scenes from some
Floyd | strange mythology. In the first, a nubile young woman is examining a
Floyd | peculiar package laid under a tall tree. In the second, she is wearing
Floyd | a short tartan skirt, a snappy blaze and pigtails, and a strapping
Floyd | young lad is advancing on her rapidly. In the third, twelve men are
Floyd | gathered, six holding hoes and six holding spears, while in the fourth
Floyd | one of the spearmen is brutally attacking one of the hoemen. The
Floyd | following scenes include floods, burning rains, lots of sex and
Floyd | inumerable platypuses. Platypi. The usual myth-fodder.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "wow good job examined door maybe"

DavidW says, "uh, those carvings are weird"

smartgenes says, "if it means anything"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x package"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "push carvings"

Floyd | Philosophers are not yet supermen.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "search pulpit"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

Jacqueline says, "Oh wow - still a-Floydin'"

DavidW says, "uh-huh"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pull tapestry"

Floyd | Philosophers are not yet supermen.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter tapestry"

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I apparently picked a long game again."

Jacqueline asks, "I shall not interject since I am just now here due to that event in town - but how's it going?"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 46 out of a possible 100 in 814 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "46 out of 100"

DavidW says, "(whimper)"

smartgenes says, "it's taken time, but it has a lot of dialogue"

smartgenes says, "and a lot of random-philosophy info"

Jacqueline says, "Haha - I'm going to start saying that to other IFers when they ask how I'm doing. If it's a so-so day, I shall say, 'Oh, 46 out of 100'. If it's an awesome day, perhaps more like '46 out of 50.'"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x veil"

Floyd | It's a veil of ignorance, apparently.
Floyd |

djfletch asks, "there was a sounding board above the pulpit - could that be something to do with the sound puzzle?"

smartgenes says, "a running competition"

smartgenes says, "that's just a metaphor i think"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to djf), "It didn't seem to be a real object."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "oh, what if we gave the naturist thing to nature boy?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x model"

Floyd | It's mouth gaping open and its glass eyes staring, this enormous model
Floyd | of a bat frightens the life out of you. The fact that it's gently
Floyd | turning round and round serves only to add a touch of psychopathic
Floyd | absurdity.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "nature boy?"

DavidW says, "A naked runner ought to enjoy an invite."

DavidW says, "Give the paper to Achilles."

smartgenes says, "what happened to the book from the library"

DavidW says, "Librarian took it back."

smartgenes says, "the one we never took out in the first place i suppose"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i thought that we could swap it for 2 other objects"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Maybe 'swap' has to be used."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give notice to achilles"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | (putting the veil into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x paper"

Floyd | Scrawled upon a scrap of paper is: "COME TO THE STATE OF NATURIST CAMP
Floyd | -- NASTY BRUTISH FUN FOR ALL!!!"
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give paper to Achilles"

Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh dear. Well, do drop by again if you change your mind."
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look through qualiascope at achilles"

Floyd | That sounds like a terrific idea -- if only you had a qualiascope.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x road"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x lighter"

Floyd | It a bit old and creaky, but it gives a serviceable spark.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x track"

Floyd | Little more than a few lines in the sand. There's one just by Achilles
Floyd | and Zeno and the other terribly, terribly far (it seems) in the
Floyd | distance. You can only tell where it is by the flag fluttering away
Floyd | there. In between the two, long lines follow the steep curve of the
Floyd | beach to mark out two lanes, outside and inside. As the beach takes a
Floyd | steep curve for the length of the race track, the inside lane is
Floyd | probably a little bit shorter than the outer.
Floyd |

Floyd | You're standing at the start line, stripped to your underwear. You
Floyd | made that much of a compromise with the two Greeks. Achilles,
Floyd | limbering up next to you, was not so modest. You feel like your
Floyd | eyeballs are being dragged on strings, downwards and sideways . . .
Floyd | You look away, blushing furiously, and crouch down, set, the aching
Floyd | vision of school P.E. lessons mugging you in memory alley.
Floyd |
Floyd | When Zeno shouts the go, there's a moment of blurred confusion as you
Floyd | both launch off. Your mind can't manage any complicated tasks, like
Floyd | managing sensory apparatus, when it's pumping your arms and legs this
Floyd | hard. When the mess of sensations starts to coalesce, you realise that
Floyd | Achilles has streaked (in every sense of the word) off in front of
Floyd | you, and is already nearly at the finish line. Oh, well. At least you
Floyd | tried.
Floyd |
Floyd | Achilles loops around the flagpole and jogs back to you. Soon he's
Floyd | bouncing up and down at your side, jiggling in a disconcerting way.
Floyd | "Come on!" he says. "You're halfway there!"
Floyd |
Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "swap lane"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "switch lane"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "take inside lane"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to take the inside.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "you did it wrong"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "use inside lane"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to use the inside.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "no"

DavidW says, "not like that and it's too late now."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give up"

Floyd | You tumble into a heap on the ground, utterly exhausted. Achilles lets
Floyd | out a sympathetic groan and picks you up bodily, throwing you over his
Floyd | shoulder, before jogging leisurely back to Zeno at the start line.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to zeno"

Floyd | When you come to from your exhausted stupor, you see the two Greeks
Floyd | bending over you, concerned. Achilles (mercifully back in his toga)
Floyd | puts an amphora of wine to your lips, which you splutter away at,
Floyd | sitting up sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "A brave attempt, young adventurer!" says Zeno. "And, philosophically
Floyd | speaking, very interesting, yes, very interesting indeed . . ." He
Floyd | tails off again, and as you pick yourself up, Achilles looks at you
Floyd | regretfully.
Floyd |

Floyd | You're standing at the start line, stripped to your underwear. You
Floyd | made that much of a compromise with the two Greeks. Achilles,
Floyd | limbering up next to you, was not so modest. You feel like your
Floyd | eyeballs are being dragged on strings, downwards and sideways . . .
Floyd | You look away, blushing furiously, and crouch down, set, the aching
Floyd | vision of school P.E. lessons mugging you in memory alley.
Floyd |
Floyd | When Zeno shouts the go, there's a moment of blurred confusion as you
Floyd | both launch off. Your mind can't manage any complicated tasks, like
Floyd | managing sensory apparatus, when it's pumping your arms and legs this
Floyd | hard. When the mess of sensations starts to coalesce, you realise that
Floyd | Achilles has streaked (in every sense of the word) off in front of
Floyd | you, and is already nearly at the finish line. Oh, well. At least you
Floyd | tried.
Floyd |
Floyd | Achilles loops around the flagpole and jogs back to you. Soon he's
Floyd | bouncing up and down at your side, jiggling in a disconcerting way.
Floyd | "Come on!" he says. "You're halfway there!"
Floyd |
Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "give up"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give up"

Floyd | You tumble into a heap on the ground, utterly exhausted. Achilles lets
Floyd | out a sympathetic groan and picks you up bodily, throwing you over his
Floyd | shoulder, before jogging leisurely back to Zeno at the start line.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i think get inside would likely assume take-object"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x inside track"

Floyd | When you come to from your exhausted stupor, you see the two Greeks
Floyd | bending over you, concerned. Achilles (mercifully back in his toga)
Floyd | puts an amphora of wine to your lips, which you splutter away at,
Floyd | sitting up sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "A brave attempt, young adventurer!" says Zeno. "And, philosophically
Floyd | speaking, very interesting, yes, very interesting indeed . . ." He
Floyd | tails off again, and as you pick yourself up, Achilles looks at you
Floyd | regretfully.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x inside track"

Floyd | Little more than a few lines in the sand. There's one just by Achilles
Floyd | and Zeno and the other terribly, terribly far (it seems) in the
Floyd | distance. You can only tell where it is by the flag fluttering away
Floyd | there. In between the two, long lines follow the steep curve of the
Floyd | beach to mark out two lanes, outside and inside. As the beach takes a
Floyd | steep curve for the length of the race track, the inside lane is
Floyd | probably a little bit shorter than the outer.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x flag"

Floyd | It seems to be a simple red rectangle -- with a circular hole cut in
Floyd | it?
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x hole"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "steal flag"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put veil on flag"

Floyd | You need to be holding the veil before you can put it on top of
Floyd | something else.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take flag"

Floyd | You can't reach it, and besides, there's no use for it anyway.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "hold veil"

Floyd | (putting the Communist Manifesto into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You pick the veil up again. How tedious.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put veil in flag"

Floyd | That can't contain things.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i know it's miles inthe distance, but..."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put veil on flag"

Floyd | Putting things on the flag would achieve nothing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x veil"

Floyd | It's a veil of ignorance, apparently.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "it does seem like the lanes are significant, but I don't know what else you do with them"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put veil on achilles"

Floyd | Putting things on Achilles would achieve nothing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x lanes"

Floyd | Little more than a few lines in the sand. There's one just by Achilles
Floyd | and Zeno and the other terribly, terribly far (it seems) in the
Floyd | distance. You can only tell where it is by the flag fluttering away
Floyd | there. In between the two, long lines follow the steep curve of the
Floyd | beach to mark out two lanes, outside and inside. As the beach takes a
Floyd | steep curve for the length of the race track, the inside lane is
Floyd | probably a little bit shorter than the outer.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x outside track"

Floyd | Little more than a few lines in the sand. There's one just by Achilles
Floyd | and Zeno and the other terribly, terribly far (it seems) in the
Floyd | distance. You can only tell where it is by the flag fluttering away
Floyd | there. In between the two, long lines follow the steep curve of the
Floyd | beach to mark out two lanes, outside and inside. As the beach takes a
Floyd | steep curve for the length of the race track, the inside lane is
Floyd | probably a little bit shorter than the outer.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Oh no, I'm afraid that would foul all the calculations. We'd only
Floyd | need one of those to compensate for some flaw or other in the race
Floyd | track -- and just look at it! Aren't those lanes perfect? Can you
Floyd | manage without?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Hmm . . . nah, I'll pass this time.
Floyd | [2] Well, alright, I'll still give it another go.
Floyd |

Floyd | You're standing at the start line, stripped to your underwear. You
Floyd | made that much of a compromise with the two Greeks. Achilles,
Floyd | limbering up next to you, was not so modest. You feel like your
Floyd | eyeballs are being dragged on strings, downwards and sideways . . .
Floyd | You look away, blushing furiously, and crouch down, set, the aching
Floyd | vision of school P.E. lessons mugging you in memory alley.
Floyd |
Floyd | When Zeno shouts the go, there's a moment of blurred confusion as you
Floyd | both launch off. Your mind can't manage any complicated tasks, like
Floyd | managing sensory apparatus, when it's pumping your arms and legs this
Floyd | hard. When the mess of sensations starts to coalesce, you realise that
Floyd | Achilles has streaked (in every sense of the word) off in front of
Floyd | you, and is already nearly at the finish line. Oh, well. At least you
Floyd | tried.
Floyd |
Floyd | Achilles loops around the flagpole and jogs back to you. Soon he's
Floyd | bouncing up and down at your side, jiggling in a disconcerting way.
Floyd | "Come on!" he says. "You're halfway there!"
Floyd |
Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

djfletch asks, "could we get that ruler and measure the lanes?"

DavidW says, "oh. That's a thought."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put veil on flagpole"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x flagpole"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "move flagpole"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "trip achilles"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I think we should try to get the ruler. We need to fix the track."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give up"

Floyd | You tumble into a heap on the ground, utterly exhausted. Achilles lets
Floyd | out a sympathetic groan and picks you up bodily, throwing you over his
Floyd | shoulder, before jogging leisurely back to Zeno at the start line.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | When you come to from your exhausted stupor, you see the two Greeks
Floyd | bending over you, concerned. Achilles (mercifully back in his toga)
Floyd | puts an amphora of wine to your lips, which you splutter away at,
Floyd | sitting up sharply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "A brave attempt, young adventurer!" says Zeno. "And, philosophically
Floyd | speaking, very interesting, yes, very interesting indeed . . ." He
Floyd | tails off again, and as you pick yourself up, Achilles looks at you
Floyd | regretfully.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x chip"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x ship"

Floyd | The business end of a great ship is poking through the wall of the
Floyd | museum, with a surprised-looking mermaid stuck on the pointy bit. It
Floyd | might be a figurehead. The name on the prow is "Theseus".
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "talk to steward"

Floyd | You'd better not unless you can get that cube to return to her.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x mermaid"

Floyd | The figurehead has a very peculiar expression on her face. Well, you
Floyd | would too if someone had carved you from wood and then shoved a ship
Floyd | up you.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "they would make sense as alternative moral things for the maze, so possible it wasn't a real choice"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get sack"

Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Museum
Floyd | The Odditorium is filled with a crazy array of philosophical exhibits.
Floyd | The steward is giving the ship's hull a light dusting.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | There's a bloody furious cat in there -- an equally furious physicist
Floyd | is trying to force it into a box and close the lid, but is getting
Floyd | only bites and scratches for his troubles. You decide to leave them to
Floyd | it.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

Floyd | The scene through the qualiascope is rendered in monochrone,
Floyd | indicating a complete absence of consciousness.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "hmm, not sure - worth checking"

DavidW says, "I thought there was down as well as up."

smartgenes asks, "where at?"

smartgenes asks, "the ladder?"

DavidW says, "At the tower"

DavidW says, "Down the crag or whatever."

djfletch says, "through the maze, all the way south"

smartgenes says, "there's a lot of guys in the tavern aswell"

smartgenes says, "some women as well"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go tavern"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates brazenly investigating what
Floyd | the correct pronunciation of the word scone is. The only one not
Floyd | joining in seems to be Aristotle, who is sitting at a table in the
Floyd | corner, drinking fine claret in a very satisfied manner. In the
Floyd | eastern wall is the back door through which Mill threw himself
Floyd | earlier.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "I think we tried talking to all the tavern people, but we might have missed some"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look behind machine"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Logicians' Alleyway
Floyd | You wander through the back door into an alleyway and there amidst a
Floyd | pile of broken truth tables and discarded copies of the Principia
Floyd | Mathematica sit a sequiter of logicians, playing illegal logic games.
Floyd | W.V.O. Quine seems to be the ring leader.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get principia"

Floyd | Not while G?del's watching!
Floyd |

DavidW says, "; hm. That games machine might still be relevant."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x tables"

Floyd | Truth tables are chalked on the floor of the alleyway, achieving a
Floyd | very sophisticated level of graffiti.
Floyd |
Floyd | You notice that Whitehead is in something of a sulk over a recent
Floyd | piece of aggressive betting from Boole.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x quine"

Floyd | Wearing a battered trilby and a stained trench-coat, the logician
Floyd | looks about himself shiftily as he monitors the racket of logic games.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x whitehead"

Floyd | Playing games with coloured beads and cups amidst the truth tables sit
Floyd | a shifty-looking bunch of logicians. You think you notice Turing and
Floyd | Kripke pondering over vagueness, while G?del admits defeat.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to whitehead"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to boole"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to turing"

Floyd | He seems too engrossed in his game to pay any attention.
Floyd |

Floyd | The copies of the Principia Mathematica are stacked in neat piles
Floyd | --they are being put to use as make-shift seats.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "read principia"

Floyd | The copies of the Principia Mathematica are stacked in neat piles
Floyd | --they are being put to use as make-shift seats.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "The exist is west."

DavidW says, "exit"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Tavern
Floyd | A raucous rabble of eminent philosophers line the tables and bar,
Floyd | discussing matters squifflily with slurred syllables and questionable
Floyd | eloquence. You overhear Plato and Socrates childishly debating about
Floyd | linguistic puzzles. The only one not joining in seems to be Aristotle,
Floyd | who is sitting at a table in the corner, drinking fine claret in a
Floyd | very satisfied manner. In the eastern wall is the back door through
Floyd | which Mill threw himself earlier.
Floyd |
Floyd | Somewhat incongruously, you spot an electronic games machine sitting
Floyd | against the wall next to a rather glum looking booth, being rather
Floyd | neglected by the roistering philosophers.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "where's the women?"

Alex says (to smartgenes), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that A women is a lady."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "in the booth"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go door"

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "You need to make the men notice the women."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to plato"

Floyd | Plato assures you that "no human thing is of serious importance",
Floyd | before turning his attention to his drink once more.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Aristotle looks mournfully at you. "Corked!" he cries, indicating the
Floyd | claret. "The gods too are fond of a joke," he sighs, a tear in his
Floyd | eye. You take the opportunity to tactfully remove yourself.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | It's a brightly covered cabinet with "Karl Popper's FALSIFICATION
Floyd | ADVENTURE" emblazoned on it above the screen. There's a joystick, a
Floyd | button marked FIRE and a button marked START. You wonder what they
Floyd | could possibly be for.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "press start"

Floyd | The last time you played left you only with a slight sense of regret
Floyd | that a full interactive minigame didn't appear to have been
Floyd | implemented in this thought experiment, so you decide not to play
Floyd | again.
Floyd |

Floyd | The roaring fire is a pleasant backdrop to the unbridled drinking and
Floyd | philosophising.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "where's the booth?"

DavidW says, "here"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x booth"

Floyd | It's a dark and lonely corner of the tavern -- and you realise that,
Floyd | while you'd previously thought it was empty, there's actually a group
Floyd | of women sitting in it, staring melancholically into their drinks. One
Floyd | of them, whom you suddenly recognise to be Elizabeth Anscombe, is
Floyd | wearing a comic headband with two antennae on springs attached. Next
Floyd | to her sits Emma Goldman, glaring fiercely across the table at an
Floyd | equally glaring Ayn Rand, while the quartet is completed by Judith
Floyd | Butler, who surveys the roistering men, making small tutting noises.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "But they won't talk to you anymore."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x headband"

Floyd | The kind of thing you'd expect people to wear onto a hen-night.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "yeah i think they are no actually characters anyway"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give paper to elizabeth"

Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give paper to anscombe"

Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter caf"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter cafe"

Floyd |
Floyd | Pavement Caf?
Floyd | The caf? spills out into the street. Steel chairs are scattered around
Floyd | the serving kiosk, apparently chaotically, though you suspect there's
Floyd | a cynical art to it. Most of the customers are buried in books,
Floyd | thimble-sized cups of black coffee steaming by them and handmade
Floyd | cigarettes rolling around the corners of their mouths. Some of them,
Floyd | though, are intense young couples clasping hands across their plates,
Floyd | boring into each other's eyes as if looking for some flaw, breaking
Floyd | the gaze only to toss hair or adjust a beret. Sitting in the corner,
Floyd | Jean-Paul Sartre surveys the caf? around him and smiles in a satisfied
Floyd | yet enigmatic way.
Floyd |
Floyd | The server stands behind the kiosk, chainsmoking and glaring
Floyd | menacingly.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x server"

Floyd | She glares back at you as you admire her.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to server"

Floyd | You think you know her well enough now.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kiss server"

Floyd | Some would consider that an invasion of personal space.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I'm not sure what the 'how tedious' message is in aid of."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give coin to sartre"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x brambles"

Floyd | The brambles are pulled back, allowing you to pass through them to the
Floyd | cave beyond."
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter cave"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Darkness
Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "turn on light"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "spark lighter"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "feel around"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn on lighter"

Floyd | That's not something you can switch.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "flick lighter"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lighter"

Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "wear veil"

Floyd | You can't wear that!
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "burn veil"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lighter"

Floyd | It a bit old and creaky, but it gives a serviceable spark.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hang on.. can we drop the veil in there or something"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Darkness
Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "drop the veil in the cave ... and lose it?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw veil"

Floyd | Dropped.
Floyd |

Jacqueline disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get veil"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Anything we drop in darkness is lost until we get light."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | A worrying hush fills the room.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "smell"

Floyd | The whole place reeks of allegory.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Striking out south towards the castle, you soon realise what it is
Floyd | that lurks so strangely at the base of the crag. As the rock looms
Floyd | over you like ten tonne weight over a hapless clown, the road becomes
Floyd | a pebbly path leading into what is clearly an enormous maze.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "d"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get sign"

Floyd | You can't reach it, and besides, there's no use for it anyway.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read it"

Floyd | Attention, Adventurer! This MAZE is not for the FAINTHEARTED, nor for
Floyd | the CORRUPT. This is the MORAL MAZE, where only the truly ETHICAL
Floyd | shall pass. Should you find yourself LOST forever -- what can you do
Floyd | but PRAY?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Remembering the route from last time, you make your way quickly
Floyd | through the maze, up the crag, and to the foot of the castle.
Floyd |
Floyd | At the Foot of an Ivory Tower
Floyd | You are in a paved courtyard before the castle. Here, true to form, an
Floyd | ivory tower towers above you, the result of a billion poaching
Floyd | expeditions or more. Similarly true, a guard guards the broad stairs
Floyd | leading up to the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | Below you is the vertiginous path down the side of the crag -- and
Floyd | below that stretches the world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pray"

Floyd | God is dead.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "d"

Floyd | You pick your way back down the crag, leaving that penultimate-looking
Floyd | tower behind you. You're now able to make your way through the maze
Floyd | with ease, and you're soon back on the other side.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd |
Floyd | At the Foot of an Ivory Tower
Floyd | You are in a paved courtyard before the castle. Here, true to form, an
Floyd | ivory tower towers above you, the result of a billion poaching
Floyd | expeditions or more. Similarly true, a guard guards the broad stairs
Floyd | leading up to the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | Below you is the vertiginous path down the side of the crag -- and
Floyd | below that stretches the world.
Floyd |

Floyd | You look shiftily from side to side, and when you assure yourself that
Floyd | nobody is watching, you cast the veil over the guard's helmet. For
Floyd | several long moments you wait. Hesitantly, you put a foot past the
Floyd | guard. She doesn't move.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hello?" you whisper.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Excuse me, I seem to be completely ignorant to who I am and why I am
Floyd | here," she replies. "Can you help me?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] A living statue, your job is to keep still and quiet all day.
Floyd | [2] You're a guard -- you're guarding these stairs from me passsing
Floyd | [3] You're Bishop Berkeley and you're on your way to the tavern to
Floyd | give a lecture on Idealism.
Floyd | [4] You're a mild mannered accountant by day, but by night you don a
Floyd | cape and fight crime.
Floyd | [5] You're a very charitable person who would never dream of impeding
Floyd | someone's progress up some stairs.
Floyd | [6] You're an itinerant farm-hand who dreams of one day owning their
Floyd | own farm with rabbits and alpaca, but deep down you know it'll never
Floyd | happen.
Floyd | [7] You write Thus Spoke Zarathustra fan-fiction and go to heavy metal
Floyd | concerts.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "hurrahhhh"

smartgenes says, "lol"

smartgenes says, "i love this guy's dialogues"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "That sounds nice, but if it's all the same to you," she says, "I'm
Floyd | just going to stand here until I've got things figured out for
Floyd | myself."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | You clamber up the stairs and through into the tower. The ivory wall,
Floyd | eased by its last descent, crashes down behind you before you can do
Floyd | anything. This is it, then.
Floyd |
Floyd | First Chamber
Floyd | Perfectly round and with walls of glistening ivory, this is definitely
Floyd | more of a chamber than a room. A huge sheet of ivory blocks the exit
Floyd | archway, while opposite it sits an ivory-panelled door, with a
Floyd | definite sense of being heavily locked about it. Through this door
Floyd | come the strains of atmospheric organ music you heard earlier, a
Floyd | little clearer, and a little more foreboding.
Floyd |
Floyd | None of this is the most striking thing about the chamber, however.
Floyd | The most striking thing is the fact that in the centre of the room
Floyd | buzz thousands of bees, all hovering stationary in a curiously-shaped
Floyd | cloud.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "uh oh"

DavidW says, "We can't return."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x bees"

Floyd | On closer examination the bees are hovering in the exact shape of a
Floyd | vending machine. You can even see the slot where the money goes, and
Floyd | the little tray where the goods drop down. It would be a refreshingly
Floyd | normal sight in this mad world, if it weren't for the fact that it
Floyd | were made out of thousands of writhing insects it would be rather a
Floyd | relief.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "insert coin"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put coin in slot"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | You insert the fifty pence piece into the slot, and instead of the
Floyd | usual clunks and whirrings of machinery, you hear a series of buzzes
Floyd | and organic-sounding thuds. Finally, a key drops into the little tray
Floyd | at the bottom of the machine.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get key"

Floyd | Which do you mean, the first key or the Chinese key?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "first"

Floyd | Taking care not to disturb the bees, you pick up the key.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x it"

Floyd | A slender key with the number one engraved into the metalwork.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 51 out of a possible 100 in 1023 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | First Chamber
Floyd | Perfectly round and with walls of glistening ivory, this is definitely
Floyd | more of a chamber than a room. A huge sheet of ivory blocks the exit
Floyd | archway, while opposite it sits an ivory-panelled door, with a
Floyd | definite sense of being heavily locked about it. Through this door
Floyd | come the strains of atmospheric organ music you heard earlier, a
Floyd | little clearer, and a little more foreboding.
Floyd |
Floyd | None of this is the most striking thing about the chamber, however.
Floyd | The most striking thing is the fact that in the centre of the room
Floyd | buzz thousands of bees, all hovering stationary in a curiously-shaped
Floyd | cloud.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unlock door"

Floyd | What do you want to unlock the firstdoor with?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "first"

Floyd | You unlock the door and open it, trembling with trepidation. Through
Floyd | the door lies another ivory staircase -- a spiral staircase which
Floyd | winds upwards towards another chamber.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber
Floyd | You are only a little surprised to find that this chamber is almost
Floyd | entirely identical to the first, with the same stairs leading down and
Floyd | the same huge door, but for two minor details: firstly, the
Floyd | atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly louder; secondly, the
Floyd | machine in the centre of the room is both not made of bees and clearly
Floyd | a time machine. The clue is in the words "Time Machine" engraved on
Floyd | its casing.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x time machine"

Floyd | A feat of elaborate steelwork has wrought this magnificent device.
Floyd | There's what looks like a control booth perched in a torturous
Floyd | assembly of elaborate mechanics, as beautiful as they are strange.
Floyd | There's a red fake leather seat inside the booth, which rather spoils
Floyd | the image, as does the mouldy newspaper sitting on it. The chrome
Floyd | dials inside the booth are pretty nice, though.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x casing"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x newspaper"

Floyd | It's a rather damp and extremely boring edition of The Times from
Floyd | 1957. The only interesting item in it is a piece about an ongoing
Floyd | unsolved crime -- the theft of a priceless paracentric key from the
Floyd | key exhibition at the International House of Keys, loaned to the
Floyd | museum by the H.G Wells Reenactment Society.
Floyd |
Floyd | The one witness to the theft, a recently-engaged young security guard,
Floyd | said "I don't know how the bugger snuck past me -- all I know is,
Floyd | there was a flash of light from the exhibition room, the alarm goes
Floyd | off, I rushes in, and he clunks me one. Don't know what with, but it
Floyd | laid me out for hours -- I was lucky he didn't have a proper weapon
Floyd | with him."
Floyd |

Floyd | It looks like it was purloined from an American 1950"s diner.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look under seat"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "You probably can only 'enter machine'"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | The sound of passing time.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter machine"

Floyd | You clamber into the Time Machine and perch on the red seat.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber (in the Time Machine)
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "z machine"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to wait.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | A feat of elaborate steelwork has wrought this magnificent device.
Floyd | There's what looks like a control booth perched in a torturous
Floyd | assembly of elaborate mechanics, as beautiful as they are strange.
Floyd | There's a red fake leather seat inside the booth, which rather spoils
Floyd | the image. The chrome dials inside the booth are pretty nice, though.
Floyd |

Floyd | (the workings)
Floyd | There is a season for that, but it's not this one.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look behind seat"

Floyd | There is nothing on the red fake leather seat.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x controls"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd | You get out of the Time Machine.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | First Chamber
Floyd | Perfectly round and with walls of glistening ivory, this is definitely
Floyd | more of a chamber than a room. A huge sheet of ivory blocks the exit
Floyd | archway, while opposite it sits an ivory-panelled door, with a
Floyd | definite sense of being heavily locked about it. Through this door
Floyd | come the strains of atmospheric organ music you heard earlier, a
Floyd | little clearer, and a little more foreboding.
Floyd |
Floyd | None of this is the most striking thing about the chamber, however.
Floyd | The most striking thing is the fact that in the centre of the room
Floyd | buzz thousands of bees, all hovering stationary in a curiously-shaped
Floyd | cloud.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | Through the door lies another ivory staircase -- a spiral staircase
Floyd | which winds upwards towards another chamber.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "burn newspaper"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | A feat of elaborate steelwork has wrought this magnificent device.
Floyd | There's what looks like a control booth perched in a torturous
Floyd | assembly of elaborate mechanics, as beautiful as they are strange.
Floyd | There's a red fake leather seat inside the booth, which rather spoils
Floyd | the image. The chrome dials inside the booth are pretty nice, though.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "enter machine"

Floyd | You clamber into the Time Machine and perch on the red seat.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber (in the Time Machine)
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x mechanics"

Floyd | If only you were studying for a bachelors of science, not art! Then
Floyd | you might begin to understand the complexities of the time machine.
Floyd | Even a degree in zoology would take you a stage closer than you are
Floyd | now.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the clue is in the words time machine"

DavidW says, "That's how we know it's a time machine."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "author"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "it does seem like we'd have to solve the other stuff first"

DavidW says, "We need more understanding of science."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd | You get out of the Time Machine.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "restore?"

DavidW asks, "first: can we return?"

smartgenes says, "well we know what the 50p is for"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "d"

Floyd |
Floyd | First Chamber
Floyd | Perfectly round and with walls of glistening ivory, this is definitely
Floyd | more of a chamber than a room. A huge sheet of ivory blocks the exit
Floyd | archway, while opposite it sits an ivory-panelled door, with a
Floyd | definite sense of being heavily locked about it. Through this door
Floyd | come the strains of atmospheric organ music you heard earlier, a
Floyd | little clearer, and a little more foreboding.
Floyd |
Floyd | None of this is the most striking thing about the chamber, however.
Floyd | The most striking thing is the fact that in the centre of the room
Floyd | buzz thousands of bees, all hovering stationary in a curiously-shaped
Floyd | cloud.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "d"

Floyd | There's no way through the ivory sheet.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "yeah, restore seems to be the only thing."

DavidW says, "also, we might be screwed because we can't swap the cube."

smartgenes says, "yeah possibly"

smartgenes says, "we could pump some info worst comes to worse"

DavidW says, "I'm thinking we ought to pump for info on Zeno or Achilles and see if the ruler is hinted."

DavidW says, "And if it is, we're in trouble."

smartgenes says, "they give a trophy they said"

McMartin says, "IIRC the only thing that can unwinnable the game is misusing the cube"

Floyd | It's a lead cube. That would seem to be it, though it feels rather
Floyd | heavier than it should.
Floyd |

McMartin says, "The object I'm thinking of is a one-shot object that can literally be used at any time"

McMartin says, "And you're warned about this when you get it"

djfletch says, "there were three moral things, golden rule, silver something and lead cube which is the categorical imperativator"

McMartin says, "OK, that's not the game breaker"

McMartin says, "Though the game breaker is also, IIRC, Kantian"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "light newspaper"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

McMartin asks, "is the Zombie Inquisitor still a live puzzle?"

DavidW says, "yes"

maga disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.

smartgenes says, "we think we have to get the axe"

DavidW says, "I need a bathroom break."

smartgenes says, "solving the monk and log-girl debate"

McMartin says, "OK. I think that puzzle dominates the puzzle that gives you the one-shot item."

smartgenes says, "not sure where DavidW restored it to"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "restore"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "cf7"

Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | You've no time to do anything other than attempt a daring RESCUE!
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "rescue mother"

Floyd | Grabbing her left leg, you drag your mother heroically from the
Floyd | burning mill. As soon as she is clear of the building it explodes in a
Floyd | melodramatic and highly implausible inferno, from which rolls, rather
Floyd | pitifully, the Archbishop's mitre. You watch it spin to a halt as your
Floyd | mother swoons on the grass.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I think cf8 was our last save point."

smartgenes says, "i wonder what happensif you save the bishop then"

DavidW says, "I don't know."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "restore"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "cf8"

Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "t to librarian"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to t the invitation to the
Floyd | state of naturist camp.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to librarian"

Floyd | The librarian spots you and says, "What do you want this time?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Still got no Plato I can read?
Floyd | [2] Er, I was wondering if, maybe, you could see your way to getting
Floyd | that Encyclopaedia for me again?
Floyd | [3] Oh, nothing. I just wanted to annoy you, actually.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | The librarian glares at you, but heads off to the shelves to fetch the
Floyd | book.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put banana in ink"

Floyd | You dip one end into the inkwell, and then the other end. It's messy,
Floyd | but the result is a rather handsome blue banana.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You're still waiting for that book.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "z"

Floyd | Time passes. Or at least, loiters around for a while longer.
Floyd |
Floyd | The librarian returns and hands the tome to you wordlessly, before
Floyd | returning to h/er spot behind the counter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You already know the librarian won't let you leave while you've still
Floyd | got that Encyclopaedia, so you hand it back to h/er before leaving.
Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "wheres marx"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give banana to marx"

Floyd | Karl Marx doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Marx is here in the Library."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

DavidW says, "The banana is for Mary."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Colour Lab
Floyd | The lab is filled with all manner of scientific equipment. Monitors,
Floyd | levers, dials and big red buttons cover the walls, while the room's
Floyd | desk -- pushed against the computer stacks on the back wall -- has a
Floyd | complicated-looking laptop-printer set-up perched somewhere in the
Floyd | middle, surrounded by arcane assemblies of metal and glass, which Mary
Floyd | is operating with feverish skill.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give banana to mary"

Floyd | You flourish the blue banana in Mary's direction. She squints at it,
Floyd | seeming a little confused. "There's something very odd about that
Floyd | banana," she says. "I think it's blue. You'd better not eat it," she
Floyd | counsels, motherly.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No," you say. "It's a perfectly ordinary yellow banana. Why don't you
Floyd | take those goggles off and check?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Well, if you're sure, dear, then I suppose I'd better," says Mary,
Floyd | fiddling with the strap. "I must have made a mistake in my
Floyd | calculations somewhere."
Floyd |
Floyd | Struggling with them a little, she pulls the goggles from her head.
Floyd | Blinking, her jaw drops wide open, and she looks about herself in
Floyd | wonderment. "Colours!" she whispers weakly, her knees buckling. "After
Floyd | all this time . . . I never knew . . ." She lets out a small,
Floyd | satisfied sound -- and faints on the spot.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Philosophy Library
Floyd | This is simply a square, book-lined room equipped with a borrowing
Floyd | counter, behind which stands a bored-looking librarian, and a few old
Floyd | desks. At one of these Karl Marx sits, writing furiously.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "And give the laptop to Marx. And get the manifesto."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give laptop to marx"

Floyd | You place the laptop on Marx's desk with a triumphant thunk. The old
Floyd | man looks up at you. "Liebling!" he cries, breathless. "Not just a
Floyd | typewriter, but a word processor capable of printing multiple copies!
Floyd | This will not be forgotten after the revolution! In the meantime,
Floyd | please take this precious copy Manifesto," he says, pressing the typed
Floyd | manuscript into your hands, "and may it guide you to your unchaining!"
Floyd | With these words he turns back to his work and begins typing
Floyd | furiously.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get manifesto"

Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 41 out of a possible 100 in 706 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Perhaps the manifesto can be given to the burning woman?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "well, we can still get the veil from the church."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Darkness
Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go church"

Floyd |
Floyd | Church
Floyd | The church appears to have made up its mind about its own interior,
Floyd | plumping for a simple majesty in stone and wood. As the door creaks
Floyd | gracefully closed behind you, you survey your surroundings: the oak
Floyd | pews lining the nave, the beautiful arched stone roof, the carved
Floyd | pulpit at the head of the church and, behind it, an enormous tapestry
Floyd | depicting -- nothing?
Floyd |
Floyd | In one of the pews a woman in full bridal gear sits, weeping to
Floyd | herself.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give handkerchief to woman"

Floyd | (first taking the handkerchief)
Floyd | (putting the broken lantern into the sack to make room)
Floyd | The bride looks at your proferred hanky, at takes it gratefully.
Floyd | Casting the soaked veil aside, she blows her nose with a foghorn
Floyd | bellow and looks folornly at the altar.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to her"

Floyd | After she's fully evacuated her nose into your hanky she hands it back
Floyd | to you. You look at it, aghast at the vast quantities of snot therein.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] That's OK. You can keep it.
Floyd | [2] Best hold on to that. Better now?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Thanks," she says tearfully, and proceeds to snort out an even more
Floyd | prolific stream.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] You're more than welcome. Do you think it would help to talk about
Floyd | what's bothering you?
Floyd | [2] Not a problem. Glad to help. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on
Floyd | . . .
Floyd | [3] Yeah, well. Why the long face, anyway?
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take veil"

Floyd | [I need some kind of reaction from you to continue the scene. Enter a
Floyd | number, or say REPEAT to reacquaint yourself with your options.]
Floyd |

Floyd | She wipes her cheeks, smearing mascara and blusher, takes a deep
Floyd | breath, and begins:
Floyd |
Floyd | "We'd been engaged for months, and deeply in love for years before.
Floyd | We'd prepared for today for weeks and weeks, and it was all meant to
Floyd | be so -- so perfect. But I knew something was wrong. There's been
Floyd | something wrong with him for a few days now. Ever since he picked up a
Floyd | logic textbook.
Floyd |
Floyd | "He started to get this awkward look in his eyes when we talked about
Floyd | the wedding. He'd dodge the subject. But he never said he'd do this!
Floyd | Leave me standing at the altar like an unwanted pudding!
Floyd |
Floyd | "I waited for an hour. The guests all started to leave. His family
Floyd | scarpered and mine chased after them. Then it was just me, when his
Floyd | best man came and told me what had happened.
Floyd |
Floyd | "He'd realised he couldn't marry me. The book had told him. Decades of
Floyd | the world's most pre-eminent philosophers have said it. He was a
Floyd | bachelor. And all bachelors are unmarried men."
Floyd |
Floyd | The bride sighs, hiccups, and then, just as you think she's about to
Floyd | recover, dissolves into another bout of sobbing. You decide that now
Floyd | is probably the most tactful time to leave, and vow to be more
Floyd | original in your logic examples in future.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get veil"

Floyd | You pick up the veil and wring it out. On examining it, you realise
Floyd | that the fine lacework spells out a word: Ignorance. Curiouser and
Floyd | curiouser. Um. More curious.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x woman"

Floyd | She's like a very damp pile of meringues, and she's getting damper by
Floyd | the second.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to woman"

Floyd | You don't think there's much you can do for her at the moment.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Church
Floyd | The church appears to have made up its mind about its own interior,
Floyd | plumping for a simple majesty in stone and wood. As the door creaks
Floyd | gracefully closed behind you, you survey your surroundings: the oak
Floyd | pews lining the nave, the beautiful arched stone roof, the carved
Floyd | pulpit at the head of the church and, behind it, an enormous tapestry
Floyd | depicting -- nothing?
Floyd |
Floyd | In one of the pews a woman in full bridal gear sits, weeping to
Floyd | herself.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x door"

Floyd | The heavy wooden portal at the southwest end of the church leads back
Floyd | to the village street. It's covered with some very peculiar carvings.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x carvings"

Floyd | These relief carvings appear to show a sequence of scenes from some
Floyd | strange mythology. In the first, a nubile young woman is examining a
Floyd | peculiar package laid under a tall tree. In the second, she is wearing
Floyd | a short tartan skirt, a snappy blaze and pigtails, and a strapping
Floyd | young lad is advancing on her rapidly. In the third, twelve men are
Floyd | gathered, six holding hoes and six holding spears, while in the fourth
Floyd | one of the spearmen is brutally attacking one of the hoemen. The
Floyd | following scenes include floods, burning rains, lots of sex and
Floyd | inumerable platypuses. Platypi. The usual myth-fodder.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "search pulpit"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x pulpit"

Floyd | An huge oak platform with an overarching sound-board; you imagine a
Floyd | preacher could boom out from here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x board"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x sound board"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I'm wondering if we can eat the flying spaghetti monsters."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x platofrm"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x platform"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "eat spaghetti monster"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We'd have to go to Roof to try."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pump about achilles"

Floyd | You pull the pump's handle, concentrating furiously. You intuit that
Floyd | the only way to beat Achilles would be to get a headstart, and the
Floyd | only way to do that would be to demonstrate that something about the
Floyd | race is unfair. Better have a good look at that racetrack.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "ok we knew about that"

DavidW says, "yeah"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Beach
Floyd | You're on the beach, where Zeno has set up a race track between the
Floyd | dunes and the sea. Achilles is also here -- sans Tortoise.
Floyd |
Floyd | The road lies back to the east, while the dune where you found the
Floyd | nest is northeast of here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "accuse achilles"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "We need the headstart by proving the track is bad."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "tell achilles about lanes"

Floyd | Just TALK TO them.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x lanes"

Floyd | Little more than a few lines in the sand. There's one just by Achilles
Floyd | and Zeno and the other terribly, terribly far (it seems) in the
Floyd | distance. You can only tell where it is by the flag fluttering away
Floyd | there. In between the two, long lines follow the steep curve of the
Floyd | beach to mark out two lanes, outside and inside. As the beach takes a
Floyd | steep curve for the length of the race track, the inside lane is
Floyd | probably a little bit shorter than the outer.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Achilles is just the runner."

djfletch says (to Floyd), "measure track"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "measure"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "measure lanes"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sand"

Floyd | The sand flows down from the dunes like sugar from a spilt and split
Floyd | shopping bag. You bend down and let it run thorugh your fingers in a
Floyd | stream of pure romantic clich?. It's astonishingly fine.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "paint track"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "point at tracks"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "compare tracks"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "you would think it would need to know measure as a verb if the ruler was going to work"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "report tracks to zeno"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to djfletch), "I know."

djfletch says, "but maybe it is but a talking thing once you have it"

DavidW says, "yeah, it could be hidden in the dialogue menu items."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You'd only get wet.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "examine track"

Floyd | Little more than a few lines in the sand. There's one just by Achilles
Floyd | and Zeno and the other terribly, terribly far (it seems) in the
Floyd | distance. You can only tell where it is by the flag fluttering away
Floyd | there. In between the two, long lines follow the steep curve of the
Floyd | beach to mark out two lanes, outside and inside. As the beach takes a
Floyd | steep curve for the length of the race track, the inside lane is
Floyd | probably a little bit shorter than the outer.
Floyd |

Floyd | At this stage, you don't think your brain can possibly cope with
Floyd | issuing any instructions other than GIVE UP or KEEP RUNNING.
Floyd |
Floyd | With a gleam in your eye, you quickly take your position on the
Floyd | outside lane, just 50 podes ahead of Achilles. When Zeno shouts the
Floyd | go, you pump your legs away without bothering to look behind you.
Floyd |
Floyd | When you've reached about halfway down the track, you hear a curse to
Floyd | Zeus close behind you. Achilles has made a good deal of headway, but
Floyd | something seems to be holding him back. Every time he reaches where
Floyd | you've just been, you've managed to make a little further hard
Floyd | progress down towards the flag. For each bound he takes, you manage
Floyd | another bound -- a smaller, humbler bound -- a little further forward.
Floyd | And while you're flagging more than him, and he manages to catch up a
Floyd | little further on each bound, he never quite makes it to you.
Floyd |
Floyd | Now it's just a matter of endurance. You set your head towards the
Floyd | flag and keep forging on. It gets closer and closer, with Achilles
Floyd | coming up just behind you, a gnat's crotchet away -- and you reach the
Floyd | flag! Throwing yourself over the finish line, you grab onto the pole
Floyd | and sink to the ground, exhausted. Achilles throws himself down beside
Floyd | you, and you both gaze up at the fluttering red flag, with that
Floyd | peculiar hole in the centre, waiting for something like breath to
Floyd | return to your lungs.

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "run"

Floyd |
Floyd | When you finally make it back to Zeno, he is applauding wildly.
Floyd | "Magnificent! Magnificent!" Even the deject Achilles is overwhelmed as
Floyd | Zeno thrusts the glass trophy into your arms and grabs him by the
Floyd | hand. "Now see here, Achilles," he says, drawing complicated equations
Floyd | in the sand as Achilles looks on, rapt.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

djfletch says, "must have changed after we examined the lanes or something"

DavidW says, "I guess."

DavidW says, "x trophy"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x trophy"

Floyd | It's a finely-engraved glass cup with a big bowl.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i like how you always get some random object you don't want"

smartgenes exclaims, "just like real life!"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x bowl"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look through bowl"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look through trophy"

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "talk to achilles"

Floyd | You'd rather not disturb them.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "read trophy"

Floyd | It's a finely-engraved glass cup with a big bowl.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "So what's the trophy good for?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give trophy to lumberjack"

Floyd | The lumberjack doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give trophy to monk"

Floyd | The Buddhist monk doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Do we fill it with sand or water?"

smartgenes asks, "is there water anywhere?"

djfletch asks, "hmm, glass to fix the lantern?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "Beach"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd | (first taking the broken lantern)
Floyd | (putting the Communist Manifesto into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "put lantern in trophy"

Floyd | You need to be holding the broken lantern before you can put it into
Floyd | something else.
Floyd |

djfletch says, "if that's what it was missing"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "attach trophy to lantern"

Floyd | It would be even better with some PVA glue, three yoghurt pots and an
Floyd | egg carton but even with just your will-to-create, a broken lantern
Floyd | and a priceless glass trophy you are able to fasten together a
Floyd | servicible lantern.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "ooh cave"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cave cave cave"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "gotta admit i don't like that 1.. would never have thought of it"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Darkness
Floyd | The darkness envelops everything. It is the darkness of ignorance. Or
Floyd | possibly just an ordinary sort of darkness, but in any case, you won't
Floyd | be able to do anything until you bring some sort of light source here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "light lantern"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take lighter"

Floyd | (putting the veil into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "burn lantern"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "light lantern"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "light lighter"

Floyd | This dangerous act would achieve little.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "light lantern with lighter"

Floyd | The lantern lights! You jump around gleefully for a few moments,
Floyd | before recovering your sobriety.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "grr"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Plato's Cave
Floyd | The lantern's dim glow casts shadows across the walls of the cavern,
Floyd | which, oddly, seems not so much collossal as contrived. Raising the
Floyd | lantern, you read an etching over the eastern entrance to the cave:
Floyd | "Property of Plato." Casting it around, you notice a gap in the walls
Floyd | of the cavern that leads down further into the cave system.
Floyd |
Floyd | Bizarrely, chained down in the centre of the cave are a group of
Floyd | wasted-looking humans. They make no reaction to your stumbling
Floyd | entrance, save to stare intently at the shadows you are casting on the
Floyd | wall. Feeling a little sheepish, you make a bunny shadow-picture for
Floyd | them, it being the only one you can remember. They fail to smile.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "gotta spell colossal right if you want to reference colossal cave"

DavidW says, "Chained people. Try the manifesto."

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x people"

Floyd | The denizens sit with their legs and necks chained so they cannot turn
Floyd | their heads from the shadowy forms in front of them. Their ears are
Floyd | covered in thick earmuffs and on their faces lie expressions devoid of
Floyd | all curiosity.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "ooh, earmuffs!"

DavidW says, "We want those for the lumberjack!"

smartgenes says, "after all that were right about the muffs"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get muffs"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get earmuffs"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "show manifesto to people"

Floyd | (first taking the Communist Manifesto)
Floyd | (putting the lighter into the sack to make room)
Floyd | The denizens of Plato's Cave seems to take no notice.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give manifesto to people"

Floyd | It would be terribly cruel to incite them to cast off the shackles of
Floyd | their oppression when they're sitting impotent in locked chains.
Floyd |

Floyd | Two of the denizens give a look that would usually accompany a cursory
Floyd | glance around in less cervical-rotational-inhibited examiners. One
Floyd | says, "What earmuffs?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] The ones your wearing.
Floyd | [2] Ah, my mistake: I must be mistaking a mass case of advanced
Floyd | ear-hair growth with earmuffs.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "I don't know what you're talking about," three of them say in unison.
Floyd | Given the differing inflection, they may not all have been replying to
Floyd | the same remark.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] So . . . quite the cave system you've got here.
Floyd | [2] Cute manacles. Are they one-cuff-chains-all, or do they come in
Floyd | different sizes?
Floyd | [3] Are those shadows playing the Importance of Being Earnest on the
Floyd | wall over there, or is it Deformed Rabbit?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "I see no such thing!" replies one of the cave dwellers. "Nothing
Floyd | chains us here," rejoinders another.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] How do explain the fact that you can't move?
Floyd | [2] Clearly the entire back catalogue of a bondage shop has been
Floyd | wasted on you if you don't even realise it's there.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "Oh, alright," admits one of them, "maybe we're a little chained up.
Floyd | It's not as if there's anything more inteesting to see behind us."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Other than the world of real forms as opposed to the shadow world
Floyd | you see before you?
Floyd | [2] What about colours and three dimensional objects?
Floyd | [3] There are many wondrous things out there -- like talking
Floyd | scarecrows, burning windmills and friendly barbers.
Floyd |

Lionheart asks, "Say, how do these denizens look to the qualiascope?"

smartgenes says, "lol at 3"

Lionheart says, "So starved of experience of experience"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | The denizens of the cave don't seem to heed your word, dismissing such
Floyd | things as metaphysical illusions.
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] How do feel about sitting in a dank little cave?
Floyd | [2] Do you spend all your time watching shadows, or is it only when
Floyd | adventurers come by with sources of light?
Floyd |

Floyd | Plato's Cave
Floyd | The lantern's dim glow casts shadows across the walls of the cavern,
Floyd | which, oddly, seems not so much collossal as contrived. Raising the
Floyd | lantern, you read an etching over the eastern entrance to the cave:
Floyd | "Property of Plato." Casting it around, you notice a gap in the walls
Floyd | of the cavern that leads down further into the cave system. Chained
Floyd | down in the centre of the room, eyes affixed on your shadow playing on
Floyd | the wall, are the denizens of this cave. You make a bunny
Floyd | shadow-picture for them.
Floyd |

Floyd | The bats chitter and chatter, and would chutter as well, if it didn't
Floyd | sound so silly.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hear a bat circling above you humming a brutal-sounding song to
Floyd | itself.
Floyd |

Floyd | A bat flies out from the group and droops dejectedly off a staligmite
Floyd | near you. "I'd savour it and leave before they savour you."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Savour me? I'm not going to be eaten am I?
Floyd | [2] You seem a tad melancholy.
Floyd |

Floyd | The bat blinks sadly at you, brushing its fringe away from its eyes
Floyd | with a sweep of its tattered wing. "It's like this," it begins, in a
Floyd | voice resonant with murky emotion. "All the journals care about is
Floyd | zombies, zombies, zombies. None of them care to investigate the
Floyd | deepest, darkest revelations of the deep, dark mind of the vampire
Floyd | bat. No-one understands us! Nobody cares!
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] Well, I'm a philosopher -- perhaps I could spread the word?
Floyd | [2] Yes, I can certainly see how that would be pertinent to
Floyd | philosophy.
Floyd | [3] Gosh, that is tragic. Please do unclasp the bosom of your secret
Floyd | soul to me.
Floyd |

Floyd | The bat pulls a tiny book from behind its wings and drops it to the
Floyd | ground in front of you with a little whimper. "Thank you," it says
Floyd | breathily, its fringe drooping lower and lower. "I'm going to go and
Floyd | feed on some virgins now to assuage my insatiable homicidal appetite
Floyd | for human blood. Thanks for listening." It takes off in an excited
Floyd | flurry and chitters away.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "search stalagtites"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd |
Floyd | Plato's Cave
Floyd | The lantern's dim glow casts shadows across the walls of the cavern,
Floyd | which, oddly, seems not so much collossal as contrived. Raising the
Floyd | lantern, you read an etching over the eastern entrance to the cave:
Floyd | "Property of Plato." Casting it around, you notice a gap in the walls
Floyd | of the cavern that leads down further into the cave system. Chained
Floyd | down in the centre of the room, eyes affixed on your shadow playing on
Floyd | the wall, are the denizens of this cave. You make a bunny
Floyd | shadow-picture for them.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "n"

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Bat Lab
Floyd | The laboratory is a brightly-lit white chamber, covered wall-to-wall
Floyd | in cabinets, posters, and counters covered with disturbing-looking
Floyd | instruments. A gigantic model of a bat hangs from the ceiling,
Floyd | spinning around gently. A white-haired man is moving fitfully around
Floyd | the room, grabbing instruments and examining diagrams, as he proceeds
Floyd | to dissect a series of what look worryingly like tiny brains. He's
Floyd | muttering something over and over again under his breath: "What is it
Floyd | like?" it seems to be. "What is it like? What is it like?"
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give book"

Floyd | (the bat's autobiography to Nagel)
Floyd | You grab Nagel as he passes you, heading for the cabinets. "Here," you
Floyd | say. "I thought you might like this."
Floyd |
Floyd | He looks down at the book, wide-eyed. "Never . . . " he says. "Never
Floyd | in all my days . . . How did you get this?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Just chatted to them, really," you reply.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Interesting," he says, already frantically flipping through the
Floyd | pages, waving a hand around the laboratory. "And I thought that all we
Floyd | could do was study them like this. But now . . . oh now . . . please,
Floyd | would you leave me with this? And would you look after these keys for
Floyd | me? They were given to me to look after by some old man in a toga when
Floyd | he saw how much time I spent in the caves gathering specimens. But I
Floyd | shan't need . . . to go there . . . any more . . . "
Floyd |
Floyd | He drifts off into his own world, absorbed entirely by the book. You
Floyd | grab the bunch of keys from his outstretched hand, wondering what they
Floyd | could possibly open.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x keys"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Research Institute
Floyd | Inside, the Institute is as a marvel of the limits of both modernist
Floyd | architecture and the persuasiveness of funding applications. The floor
Floyd | of the entrance corridor is covered in sticky linoleum and the walls,
Floyd | painted an unpleasant shade of grue, with damp health and safety
Floyd | posters. Three doors lead off the corridor, to the north, east and
Floyd | west, each with a hand-written notice.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Square
Floyd | The square seems somehow madder now the madman has left.
Floyd |
Floyd | This appears to be the academic quarter of the village, and so may in
Floyd | fact be a quadrangle, which is awfully exciting. You know it's the
Floyd | academic quarter, because the grass is covered with sprawling young
Floyd | people wearing brightly coloured clothes, dreadlocks, and organic
Floyd | deodorant. Architecturally and geographically speaking, the buildings
Floyd | look like they were placed there by a commitee of village planners
Floyd | whose equipment budget stretched only so far as a compass. Three sides
Floyd | of the square are complemented by a museum, research institute and a
Floyd | library, to the west, north and east respectively.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd | You push your way through the brambles and gingerly descend into the
Floyd | dark cave beyond.
Floyd |
Floyd | Plato's Cave
Floyd | The lantern's dim glow casts shadows across the walls of the cavern,
Floyd | which, oddly, seems not so much collossal as contrived. Raising the
Floyd | lantern, you read an etching over the eastern entrance to the cave:
Floyd | "Property of Plato." Casting it around, you notice a gap in the walls
Floyd | of the cavern that leads down further into the cave system. Chained
Floyd | down in the centre of the room, eyes affixed on your shadow playing on
Floyd | the wall, are the denizens of this cave. You make a bunny
Floyd | shadow-picture for them.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unlock lock"

Floyd | What do you want to unlock the padlock with?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "with the keys of course"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unlock padlock with bunch"

Floyd | You find the right key amonst the bunch to unlock the unwieldy padlock
Floyd | and it opens with a satisfying click. None of the denizens seem to
Floyd | notice.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "get earmuffs"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "quite a few typos and spelling mistakes throughout the game"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "give manifesto to people"

Floyd | (first taking the Communist Manifesto)
Floyd | (putting the bunch of keys into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You hand the closest denizen the Communist Manifesto and wait while
Floyd | she reads it outloud to the other. You go for a quick nap through the
Floyd | bits about modes of production and different kinds of bourgoisie,
Floyd | waking up in time for the end:
Floyd |
Floyd | "Workers of the world unite!" a denizen exclaims, getting into the
Floyd | spirit of things, "You have nothing to lose but your chains!"
Floyd |
Floyd | "You know, I think she's right," pipes up another at the back.
Floyd |
Floyd | "I agree!" shouts another.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Wait a second," one says, "we're not workers. We've never done a
Floyd | day's work in our lives!"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Yes, Ted, but the oppression of the owners of the means of production
Floyd | clarifies and sharpens the class divide," explains the reader, "so as
Floyd | members of the collective oppressed classes we're made de facto
Floyd | working class."
Floyd |
Floyd | The voice known as Ted considers this for a moment, and then shouts,
Floyd | "Those thieving capitalist bastards! Let's go knock some heads!" With
Floyd | frantic calls for revolution and a classless society the denizens cast
Floyd | off their chains, and earmuffs, and storm outside in an angry mob.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Spooky Part of the Woods
Floyd | The fairytale woods seem to have shifted imperceptibly into the
Floyd | spooky woods you see before you. All around you are brambles, bracken
Floyd | and blackened lightning struck trees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Turning east you can just about make out happier looking trees. All
Floyd | that you can see in this part of the woods is a mess of brambles.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Fairytale Woods
Floyd | In the midst of the woods stand a Buddhist monk and a lumberjack
Floyd | engaged in a heated discussion as to whether a tree falling down in a
Floyd | forest makes a sound if nobody is around to hear it. Their debate is
Floyd | punctuated by the occasional felling of a tree at the blade of the
Floyd | lumberjack's axe.
Floyd |
Floyd | The woods become more sinister looking to the west and the village
Floyd | street is back to the east.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "lummmm berrrr jackkkk"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give earmuffs to lumberjill"

Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give earmuffs to lumberjack"

Floyd | You give the earmuffs to the lumberjack and the Buddhist monk. They
Floyd | put them on nice and snug and you give them the thumbs up and step
Floyd | back. The lumberjack takes a swing at the nearest tree, felling it
Floyd | with one hit. "Wow," says the lumberjack a little louder than usual,
Floyd | "I didn't hear that fall in the slightest!"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Aha!" exclaims the Buddhist, "so your premise that a tree always
Floyd | makes a sound when it falls is undermined!"
Floyd |
Floyd | The lumberjack sighs. "I was uncorrect in my presumptitions, here --
Floyd | take my axe."
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Hill
Floyd | There's a great pyre here very slowly catching alight. Tied to a stake
Floyd | in the centre of the fire is a handsome woman looking deeply
Floyd | determined, though you suppose she'd look less composed if the fire
Floyd | wasn't so pitifully poor. At the base of the pyre, an imposing,
Floyd | bushy-bearded man in an ornate uniform is interrogating her intensely,
Floyd | in a way that appears to be making her all the more resolute.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "e"

Floyd | The hill's too steep to descend in that direction.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "here"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kill zombie in furious frenzy"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kill him now"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to kill the Zombiefinder
Floyd | General.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kill him with the axe matey"

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to kill the Zombiefinder
Floyd | General with the axe.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "extra words don't help"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kill him with axe"

Floyd | When he's not paying attention, you viciously dispatch the zombie
Floyd | Zombiefinder with your axe. Afterwards, you roll the unsightly mess
Floyd | off the hill. There's nothing like a decapitated zombie to ruin an
Floyd | otherwise pleasant hilltop vista.
Floyd |
Floyd | You move to untie the martyr for truth, but she'll have none of it, "I
Floyd | can untie myself, thank you very much. I'm not some damsel in
Floyd | distress, I'll have you know."
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] I know, I know. Just trying to help.
Floyd | [2] Well, you certainly look like one . . .
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "just wanted to milk the occasion"

DavidW says, "The sun's going down."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "Either way," she says, untying herself with a few wrenches at her
Floyd | ropes, "My thanks for proving me right. And, I suppose, as you've done
Floyd | something for me, I suppose the only consistent behaviour is for me to
Floyd | give you something in return."
Floyd |
Floyd | Climbing down from the now redundant pyre, she hands you a small box
Floyd | that had been concealed about her person.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Now inside this hermetically-sealed box," she says, "is the thing.
Floyd | The only thing that's truly consistent. If you ever need to dispel a
Floyd | dangerous illusion or establish a firm and coherent grounding, open
Floyd | this box. But it'll only work once. As soon as anyone senses the
Floyd | thing, it'll just become shrouded in appearance like everything else.
Floyd | So I suggest you only open this box when you really, really need it."
Floyd |
Floyd | With these words she disappears towards the village, leaving you alone
Floyd | with the final product of what can only be described as a viciously
Floyd | convoluted object-puzzle quest. You only hope it's worth it.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "I haven't eaten in hours."

Lionheart says (to smart), "No problem"

smartgenes says, "ah this is what mcmartin meant"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get box"

Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "hm. yeah, we'll need to be extra careful with it."

smartgenes asks, "what's left? time to go into the maze?"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 69 out of a possible 100 in 838 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

Lionheart says, "The third and last time we didn't get a choice, and got the tickets we needed for a puzzle"

DavidW says, "The thing is, we haven't gained anything but points and this box from last time."

smartgenes says, "the box might dispel the time machine illusion"

Lionheart says, "It seems to me the tickets may well be the only important item"

smartgenes says, "and there is a set of keys"

DavidW asks (of smartgenes), "You think the time machine is an illusion?"

smartgenes says, "what else could it be"

DavidW says, "A time machine."

smartgenes asks, "i mean what else could the illusion be?"

djfletch says, "it's not obvious if the box would do anything to the time machine, but I can't think of much else to try"

DavidW says, "There could be an illusion past the time machine."

smartgenes says, "69pts - then the veil & the cube"

smartgenes says, "and the first room"

djfletch says, "oh did you try eating a spaghetti monster yet"

DavidW says, "no, not yet."

smartgenes says, "80ish points maybe"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Hill
Floyd | The hill is now fairly pleasant, though the pyre is still smouldering
Floyd | softly away.
Floyd |
Floyd | From here, you could head west, back to the village, or further into
Floyd | the hills to the north.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "i don't think there's any other puzzles left"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "w"

Floyd |
Floyd | Village Street
Floyd | A church, a theatre, a tavern, a barbershop, a pavement caf? -- their
Floyd | various changing forms clutter around, entrances facing out onto what
Floyd | seems (most of the time) to be an ordinary village street. Passers-by
Floyd | duck in and out of the buildings, stop by the water pump, or carry on
Floyd | to a square to the north. No-one, you notice, takes the road south --
Floyd | or heads along the routes east towards the storybook hills or west
Floyd | into the fairytale woods.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "well, if we save, we can try the tower again."

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd |
Floyd | Black Tarmac Road
Floyd | You're on a road by the squat concrete hut that contains the Chinese
Floyd | Room. In smooth black tarmac, neatly painted with white lines, the
Floyd | road stretches north to the village in peculiarly perfect tapering
Floyd | perspective. Behind you, to the south, you see the road lead towards
Floyd | some queer-looking hedgerows at the base of the crag. To the east, as
Floyd | before, stretch the plains to the horizon, with the ocean, behind sand
Floyd | dunes, doing likewise to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The remains of a scarecrow droop on a pole here.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | Striking out south towards the castle, you soon realise what it is
Floyd | that lurks so strangely at the base of the crag. As the rock looms
Floyd | over you like ten tonne weight over a hapless clown, the road becomes
Floyd | a pebbly path leading into what is clearly an enormous maze.
Floyd |
Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf11"

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You step tentatively into the maze, looking askance at the lump of
Floyd | lead. Approaching a moral dilemma, it starts whirring wildly, and
Floyd | glowing cracks in the cube appear. It begins to unfold into an
Floyd | astonishingly complex device -- an array of dishes and balances, with
Floyd | an arrow mounted on top. With little else to do you follow the arrow
Floyd | past the dilemma. And then past the next -- and the next. Moral
Floyd | dilemmas seem not to be dilemmas at all before its power, and soon you
Floyd | emerge from the maze, breathless, at the foot of the crag that looms
Floyd | over this land.
Floyd |
Floyd | A winding path leads up the side of the crag, and you follow it,
Floyd | huffing and puffing, until you reach the top. Here, looming
Floyd | dangerously atop the already looming crag, sits a gigantic loom. No, a
Floyd | gigantic castle -- you were confused for a minute there. Behind you,
Floyd | this crazy world stretches out below. You take a deep breath. You
Floyd | feel, somehow, that you are near your goal -- whatever that may be..
Floyd |
Floyd | At the Foot of an Ivory Tower
Floyd | You are in a paved courtyard before the castle. Here, true to form, an
Floyd | ivory tower towers above you, the result of a billion poaching
Floyd | expeditions or more. Similarly true, a guard guards the broad stairs
Floyd | leading up to the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | Below you is the vertiginous path down the side of the crag -- and
Floyd | below that stretches the world. The strangest thing of all, however,
Floyd | is the faint and ominous organ music on the periphery of your hearing.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You channel your will to power to summon a path in that direction.
Floyd | Sadly, nothing happens: you can't go that way.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

DavidW says, "u"

Floyd | You step up to the steps, whistling. The guard, clanking in her
Floyd | armour, steps resolutely in front of you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No!" she says, pre-empting the merry greeting you had planned. "I
Floyd | shan't let you past. For I know that I am a guard and that guards
Floyd | guard, and thus I will guard this tower from you.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw veil at guard"

Floyd | (first taking the veil)
Floyd | (putting the axe into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "again"

Floyd | (first taking the veil)
Floyd | (putting the wooden box into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You pick the veil up again. How tedious.
Floyd |
Floyd | You look shiftily from side to side, and when you assure yourself that
Floyd | nobody is watching, you cast the veil over the guard's helmet. For
Floyd | several long moments you wait. Hesitantly, you put a foot past the
Floyd | guard. She doesn't move.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hello?" you whisper.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Excuse me, I seem to be completely ignorant to who I am and why I am
Floyd | here," she replies. "Can you help me?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] A living statue, your job is to keep still and quiet all day.
Floyd | [2] You're a guard -- you're guarding these stairs from me passsing
Floyd | [3] You're Bishop Berkeley and you're on your way to the tavern to
Floyd | give a lecture on Idealism.
Floyd | [4] You're a mild mannered accountant by day, but by night you don a
Floyd | cape and fight crime.
Floyd | [5] You're a very charitable person who would never dream of impeding
Floyd | someone's progress up some stairs.
Floyd | [6] You're an itinerant farm-hand who dreams of one day owning their
Floyd | own farm with rabbits and alpaca, but deep down you know it'll never
Floyd | happen.
Floyd | [7] You write Thus Spoke Zarathustra fan-fiction and go to heavy metal
Floyd | concerts.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "That sounds nice, but if it's all the same to you," she says, "I'm
Floyd | just going to stand here until I've got things figured out for
Floyd | myself."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | You clamber up the stairs and through into the tower. The ivory wall,
Floyd | eased by its last descent, crashes down behind you before you can do
Floyd | anything. This is it, then.
Floyd |
Floyd | First Chamber
Floyd | Perfectly round and with walls of glistening ivory, this is definitely
Floyd | more of a chamber than a room. A huge sheet of ivory blocks the exit
Floyd | archway, while opposite it sits an ivory-panelled door, with a
Floyd | definite sense of being heavily locked about it. Through this door
Floyd | come the strains of atmospheric organ music you heard earlier, a
Floyd | little clearer, and a little more foreboding.
Floyd |
Floyd | None of this is the most striking thing about the chamber, however.
Floyd | The most striking thing is the fact that in the centre of the room
Floyd | buzz thousands of bees, all hovering stationary in a curiously-shaped
Floyd | cloud.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "insert fifty"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put fifty in slot"

Floyd | You insert the fifty pence piece into the slot, and instead of the
Floyd | usual clunks and whirrings of machinery, you hear a series of buzzes
Floyd | and organic-sounding thuds. Finally, a key drops into the little tray
Floyd | at the bottom of the machine.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get key"

Floyd | Which do you mean, the first key or the Chinese key?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "first"

Floyd | Taking care not to disturb the bees, you pick up the key.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unlock door"

Floyd | What do you want to unlock the firstdoor with?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "first"

Floyd | You unlock the door and open it, trembling with trepidation. Through
Floyd | the door lies another ivory staircase -- a spiral staircase which
Floyd | winds upwards towards another chamber.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber
Floyd | You are only a little surprised to find that this chamber is almost
Floyd | entirely identical to the first, with the same stairs leading down and
Floyd | the same huge door, but for two minor details: firstly, the
Floyd | atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly louder; secondly, the
Floyd | machine in the centre of the room is both not made of bees and clearly
Floyd | a time machine. The clue is in the words "Time Machine" engraved on
Floyd | its casing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 77 out of a possible 100 in 856 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

Floyd | (first taking the bunch of keys)
Floyd | (putting the first key into the sack to make room)
Floyd | That doesn't seem to fit the lock.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unlock door"

Floyd | What do you want to unlock the seconddoor with?
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "first key"

Floyd | (first taking the first key)
Floyd | (putting the bunch of keys into the sack to make room)
Floyd | That doesn't seem to fit the lock.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x box"

Floyd | It's a smooth and very plain wooden box, with the mysterious words
Floyd | "Ding an Sich" inscribed on the lid. The martyr for truth told you to
Floyd | open it when you really needed to dispel an illusion. Is that time now
Floyd | . . . ?
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "it does look a bit like time machine"

smartgenes says, "ding achine"

smartgenes says, "oh dear"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | A feat of elaborate steelwork has wrought this magnificent device.
Floyd | There's what looks like a control booth perched in a torturous
Floyd | assembly of elaborate mechanics, as beautiful as they are strange.
Floyd | There's a red fake leather seat inside the booth, which rather spoils
Floyd | the image, as does the mouldy newspaper sitting on it. The chrome
Floyd | dials inside the booth are pretty nice, though.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter box"

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "enter machine"

Floyd | You clamber into the Time Machine and perch on the red seat.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber (in the Time Machine)
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

Floyd | You make to open the box, and then remember the martyr's instructions:
Floyd |
Floyd | "If you ever need to dispel a dangerous illusion or establish a firm
Floyd | and coherent grounding, open this box. But it'll only work once. As
Floyd | soon as anyone senses the thing, it'll just become shrouded in
Floyd | appearance like everything else. So I suggest you only open this box
Floyd | when you really, really need it."
Floyd |
Floyd | Are you sure you want to open it now?

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "no"

Floyd | You decide to leave the box closed for now.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open box"

Floyd | You make to open the box, and then remember the martyr's instructions:
Floyd |
Floyd | "If you ever need to dispel a dangerous illusion or establish a firm
Floyd | and coherent grounding, open this box. But it'll only work once. As
Floyd | soon as anyone senses the thing, it'll just become shrouded in
Floyd | appearance like everything else. So I suggest you only open this box
Floyd | when you really, really need it."
Floyd |
Floyd | Are you sure you want to open it now?

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "yes"

Floyd | You eagerly open the box and look inside it. There is what appears to
Floyd | be . . . what can only be described as a thing. You have no idea what
Floyd | to do with it. It just sits there, in the box, thing-like. At least,
Floyd | that's how it seems to you. There is the vague sense about the thing
Floyd | that there's something more to it, something you can't get at -- but
Floyd | all you seem to have is what appears to be -- a thing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x thing"

Floyd | It's some thing or other, it appears.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | Second Chamber (in the Time Machine)
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get thing"

Floyd | (putting the first key into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x thing"

Floyd | It's some thing or other, it appears.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put thing in machine"

Floyd | Dropped.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look"

Floyd | Second Chamber (in the Time Machine)
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |
Floyd | In the Time Machine you can see the thing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get thing"

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

DavidW asks, "Unlock the seconddoor with it?"

smartgenes says, "the thing from uranus"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "out"

Floyd | You get out of the Time Machine.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unlock door with thing"

Floyd | That doesn't seem to fit the lock.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "eat thing"

Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | A feat of elaborate steelwork has wrought this magnificent device.
Floyd | There's what looks like a control booth perched in a torturous
Floyd | assembly of elaborate mechanics, as beautiful as they are strange.
Floyd | There's a red fake leather seat inside the booth, which rather spoils
Floyd | the image, as does the mouldy newspaper sitting on it. The chrome
Floyd | dials inside the booth are pretty nice, though.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get newspaper"

Floyd | (putting the thing into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read it"

Floyd | It's a rather damp and extremely boring edition of The Times from
Floyd | 1957. The only interesting item in it is a piece about an ongoing
Floyd | unsolved crime -- the theft of a priceless paracentric key from the
Floyd | key exhibition at the International House of Keys, loaned to the
Floyd | museum by the H.G Wells Reenactment Society.
Floyd |
Floyd | The one witness to the theft, a recently-engaged young security guard,
Floyd | said "I don't know how the bugger snuck past me -- all I know is,
Floyd | there was a flash of light from the exhibition room, the alarm goes
Floyd | off, I rushes in, and he clunks me one. Don't know what with, but it
Floyd | laid me out for hours -- I was lucky he didn't have a proper weapon
Floyd | with him."
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take skull"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take qualiascope"

Floyd | (putting the newspaper into the sack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |

smartgenes says, "the paracentric key from the museum"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "look through qualiascope at thing"

Floyd | The scene through the qualiascope is rendered in monochrone,
Floyd | indicating a complete absence of consciousness.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn on machine"

Floyd | That's not something you can switch.
Floyd |

smartgenes asks, "maybe the key we need is in the museum?"

djfletch says (to Floyd), "get in machine"

Floyd | You clamber into the Time Machine and perch on the red seat.
Floyd |
Floyd | Second Chamber (in the Time Machine)
Floyd | This chamber is exactly like the one below it but for two minor
Floyd | details: firstly, the atmospheric organ music is ever so slightly
Floyd | louder; secondly, the machine in the centre of the room is both not
Floyd | made of bees and clearly a time machine. The clue is in the words
Floyd | "Time Machine" engraved on its casing.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "back"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

djfletch says (to Floyd), "go to 1957"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "score"

Floyd | You have scored 77 out of a possible 100 in 883 turns. Jolly well
Floyd | done.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "mcfly away"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"

Floyd | The sound of passing time.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen to music"

Floyd | The organ music is very forboding.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "The article in the newspaper is about a theft of a key, probably *us* stealing the key."

smartgenes says, "bad if we have to work backwards from clue given at end"

DavidW says (to Floyd), "machine"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x machine"

Floyd | A feat of elaborate steelwork has wrought this magnificent device.
Floyd | There's what looks like a control booth perched in a torturous
Floyd | assembly of elaborate mechanics, as beautiful as they are strange.
Floyd | There's a red fake leather seat inside the booth, which rather spoils
Floyd | the image. The chrome dials inside the booth are pretty nice, though.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x control booth"

Floyd | The booth contains a red fake leather seat from which some chrome
Floyd | dials can be reached.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x seat"

Floyd | It looks like it was purloined from an American 1950"s diner.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x thing"

Floyd | It's some thing or other, it appears.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "chrome dials"

Floyd | Your desire has passed beyond meaning.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "x booth"

Floyd | The booth contains a red fake leather seat from which some chrome
Floyd | dials can be reached.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x chrome dials"

Floyd | The three dials are highly polished and highly mysterious. They could
Floyd | affect space-time co-ordinates or they could regulate the air
Floyd | conditioning. Each seems to serve a different function: the leftmost
Floyd | is a two-way switch, the middle one seems to be able to be set to a
Floyd | wide range of possible points, and the rightmost looks like some kind
Floyd | of timer.
Floyd |

DavidW says, "oho. 'chrome dials' as a phrase."

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "turn switch"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Gerynar asks, "shouldn't you be in the control booth to use the controls?"

DavidW says, "yes, but I want to restore anyway"

smartgenes says, "we didn't know there were controls till right now"

smartgenes says, "as you need "chrome dials" not dials"

Gerynar sits back to watch

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "restore"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "cf11"

Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"

Floyd | Outside the Maze
Floyd | You're standing at the entrance to a vast maze built of hedges that
Floyd | tower six feet above you. The path seems extravagantly narrow, as if
Floyd | the designer wanted to prepare the unwary adventurer from the outside.
Floyd | Above the entrance is a painted wooden sign. It looks important.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You step tentatively into the maze, looking askance at the lump of
Floyd | lead. Approaching a moral dilemma, it starts whirring wildly, and
Floyd | glowing cracks in the cube appear. It begins to unfold into an
Floyd | astonishingly complex device -- an array of dishes and balances, with
Floyd | an arrow mounted on top. With little else to do you follow the arrow
Floyd | past the dilemma. And then past the next -- and the next. Moral
Floyd | dilemmas seem not to be dilemmas at all before its power, and soon you
Floyd | emerge from the maze, breathless, at the foot of the crag that looms
Floyd | over this land.
Floyd |
Floyd | A winding path leads up the side of the crag, and you follow it,
Floyd | huffing and puffing, until you reach the top. Here, looming
Floyd | dangerously atop the already looming crag, sits a gigantic loom. No, a
Floyd | gigantic castle -- you were confused for a minute there. Behind you,
Floyd | this crazy world stretches out below. You take a deep breath. You
Floyd | feel, somehow, that you are near your goal -- whatever that may be..
Floyd |
Floyd | At the Foot of an Ivory Tower
Floyd | You are in a paved courtyard before the castle. Here, true to form, an
Floyd | ivory tower towers above you, the result of a billion poaching
Floyd | expeditions or more. Similarly true, a guard guards the broad stairs
Floyd | leading up to the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | Below you is the vertiginous path down the side of the crag -- and
Floyd | below that stretches the world. The strangest thing of all, however,
Floyd | is the faint and ominous organ music on the periphery of your hearing.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | You step up to the steps, whistling. The guard, clanking in her
Floyd | armour, steps resolutely in front of you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No!" she says, pre-empting the merry greeting you had planned. "I
Floyd | shan't let you past. For I know that I am a guard and that guards
Floyd | guard, and thus I will guard this tower from you.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw veil at guard"

Floyd | (first taking the veil)
Floyd | (putting the axe into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "again"

Floyd | (first taking the veil)
Floyd | (putting the wooden box into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You pick the veil up again. How tedious.
Floyd |
Floyd | You look shiftily from side to side, and when you assure yourself that
Floyd | nobody is watching, you cast the veil over the guard's helmet. For
Floyd | several long moments you wait. Hesitantly, you put a foot past the
Floyd | guard. She doesn't move.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hello?" you whisper.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Excuse me, I seem to be completely ignorant to who I am and why I am
Floyd | here," she replies. "Can you help me?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] A living statue, your job is to keep still and quiet all day.
Floyd | [2] You're a guard -- you're guarding these stairs from me passsing
Floyd | [3] You're Bishop Berkeley and you're on your way to the tavern to
Floyd | give a lecture on Idealism.
Floyd | [4] You're a mild mannered accountant by day, but by night you don a
Floyd | cape and fight crime.
Floyd | [5] You're a very charitable person who would never dream of impeding
Floyd | someone's progress up some stairs.
Floyd | [6] You're an itinerant farm-hand who dreams of one day owning their
Floyd | own farm with rabbits and alpaca, but deep down you know it'll never
Floyd | happen.
Floyd | [7] You write Thus Spoke Zarathustra fan-fiction and go to heavy metal
Floyd | concerts.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "1"

Floyd | "That sounds nice, but if it's all the same to you," she says, "I'm
Floyd | just going to stand here until I've got things figured out for
Floyd | myself."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | You clamber up the stairs and through into the tower. The ivory wall,
Floyd | eased by its last descent, crashes down behind you before you can do
Floyd | anything. This is it, then.
Floyd |
Floyd | First Chamber
Floyd | Perfectly round and with walls of glistening ivory, this is definitely
Floyd | more of a chamber than a room. A huge sheet of ivory blocks the exit
Floyd | archway, while opposite it sits an ivory-panelled door, with a
Floyd | definite sense of being heavily locked about it. Through this door
Floyd | come the strains of atmospheric organ music you heard earlier, a
Floyd | little clearer, and a little more foreboding.
Floyd |
Floyd | None of this is the most striking thing about the chamber, however.
Floyd | The most striking thing is the fact that in the centre of the room
Floyd | buzz thousands of bees, all hovering stationary in a curiously-shaped
Floyd | cloud.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put coin in slot"

Floyd | That's either not here, or carelessly undescribed by the fickle
Floyd | creators of this world.
Floyd |

Floyd | You insert the fifty pence piece into the slot, and instead of the
Floyd | usual clunks and whirrings of machinery, you hear a series of buzzes
Floyd | and organic-sounding thuds. Finally, a key drops into the little tray
Floyd | at the bottom of the machine.
Floyd |

DavidW says (to Lionheart), "I was wondering the same thing."

Lionheart says, "Instead of trying the other dialog options"

smartgenes says, "bcos 1 is obviously what she needs to stay still"

smartgenes says, "the others wouldn't be in line with what she does"

DavidW says, "You don't know."

smartgenes says, "she will say hang on that doesn't sound right or something"

DavidW says, "She could leave."

Lionheart says, "I think she'd give that "stand here and figure it out for myself" response in any case"

Lionheart asks, "But why not find out?"

smartgenes says, "don't think so"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "restore"

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "cf11"

Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "s"

Floyd | You step tentatively into the maze, looking askance at the lump of
Floyd | lead. Approaching a moral dilemma, it starts whirring wildly, and
Floyd | glowing cracks in the cube appear. It begins to unfold into an
Floyd | astonishingly complex device -- an array of dishes and balances, with
Floyd | an arrow mounted on top. With little else to do you follow the arrow
Floyd | past the dilemma. And then past the next -- and the next. Moral
Floyd | dilemmas seem not to be dilemmas at all before its power, and soon you
Floyd | emerge from the maze, breathless, at the foot of the crag that looms
Floyd | over this land.
Floyd |
Floyd | A winding path leads up the side of the crag, and you follow it,
Floyd | huffing and puffing, until you reach the top. Here, looming
Floyd | dangerously atop the already looming crag, sits a gigantic loom. No, a
Floyd | gigantic castle -- you were confused for a minute there. Behind you,
Floyd | this crazy world stretches out below. You take a deep breath. You
Floyd | feel, somehow, that you are near your goal -- whatever that may be..
Floyd |
Floyd | At the Foot of an Ivory Tower
Floyd | You are in a paved courtyard before the castle. Here, true to form, an
Floyd | ivory tower towers above you, the result of a billion poaching
Floyd | expeditions or more. Similarly true, a guard guards the broad stairs
Floyd | leading up to the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | Below you is the vertiginous path down the side of the crag -- and
Floyd | below that stretches the world. The strangest thing of all, however,
Floyd | is the faint and ominous organ music on the periphery of your hearing.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by three points.]
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "u"

Floyd | You step up to the steps, whistling. The guard, clanking in her
Floyd | armour, steps resolutely in front of you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No!" she says, pre-empting the merry greeting you had planned. "I
Floyd | shan't let you past. For I know that I am a guard and that guards
Floyd | guard, and thus I will guard this tower from you.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw veil at guard"

Floyd | (first taking the veil)
Floyd | (putting the axe into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You've got your hands a bit full. You're going to have to find a sack
Floyd | or something if you want to carry any more.
Floyd |

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "again"

Floyd | (first taking the veil)
Floyd | (putting the wooden box into the sack to make room)
Floyd | You pick the veil up again. How tedious.
Floyd |
Floyd | You look shiftily from side to side, and when you assure yourself that
Floyd | nobody is watching, you cast the veil over the guard's helmet. For
Floyd | several long moments you wait. Hesitantly, you put a foot past the
Floyd | guard. She doesn't move.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hello?" you whisper.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Excuse me, I seem to be completely ignorant to who I am and why I am
Floyd | here," she replies. "Can you help me?"
Floyd |
Floyd | [1] A living statue, your job is to keep still and quiet all day.
Floyd | [2] You're a guard -- you're guarding these stairs from me passsing
Floyd | [3] You're Bishop Berkeley and you're on your way to the tavern to
Floyd | give a lecture on Idealism.
Floyd | [4] You're a mild mannered accountant by day, but by night you don a
Floyd | cape and fight crime.
Floyd | [5] You're a very charitable person who would never dream of impeding
Floyd | someone's progress up some stairs.
Floyd | [6] You're an itinerant farm-hand who dreams of one day owning their
Floyd | own farm with rabbits and alpaca, but deep down you know it'll never
Floyd | happen.
Floyd | [7] You write Thus Spoke Zarathustra fan-fiction and go to heavy metal
Floyd | concerts.
Floyd |

Lionheart says (to Floyd), "2"

Floyd | "Really?" she asks.
Floyd |
Floyd | "No!" you quickly reply, "I was only joking."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Well, if it's all the same to you," she says, "I'm just going to
Floyd | stand here until I've got things figured out for myself."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

Floyd | "That sounds nice, but if it's all the same to you," she says, "I'm
Floyd | just going to stand here until I've got things figured out for
Floyd | myself."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

Floyd | "That would certainly explain the suit of armour," she says, a little
Floyd | perturbed, "but if it's all the same to you I'm just going to stand
Floyd | here until I've got my head straight."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |

Floyd | "That sounds nice, but if it's all the same to you," she says, "I'm
Floyd | just going to stand here until I've got things figured out for
Floyd | myself."
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by two points.]
Floyd |