Somewhere between PMS and menopause, marriage and career, there was a longing so deep and primal it could not be ignored. It became a desire each time I cuddled a new niece or nephew, and caused unbearable heartache with each Mother’s Day that seemed to shout out everyone’s worth except my own. It was the biological clock that challenged to outlast the Energizer bunny and Timex watches with a new force and vengeance. It kept on ticking, with each yearly decibel threatening to deafen me or swallow me whole.

Then God said, “Straighten out your life, return to me and I’ll handle the rest.” There was no negating His hand when at thirty-six, I did exactly that. And a year later, on May 4th, just days before Mother’s Day of 1996, the rabbit died.

The rest became my catalyst. I took a backseat to a needing, cooing, messy baby. I had to move to a bigger nest because everything that came with this tiny infant was super sized…cribs, jumpers, walkers, car seats and all the rest. I had to learn how to assert myself and trust my instincts. I had to remodel the laundry room to my liking as that is where I would spend all my “free” time. I discovered just exactly how clueless I really was.

I remember the tug at my heart with each commercial that showed blond, trim Mom’s in fluffy, bleached-white robes laughing and relaxing with twinkling eyes as pudgy, little fingers wrapped diamond hearts around their necks. My new reality looked a little different. I had become the six-million-dollar mom in a Phyllis Diller meets Mad Hatter sort of way.

(Quote)Kathy-635104 said:
I never chose to become a mom. It chose me.
Somewhere between PMS and menopause, ...

(Quote)Kathy-635104 said:

I never chose to become a mom. It chose me.

Somewhere between PMS and menopause, marriage and career, there was a longing so deep and primal it could not be ignored. It became a desire each time I cuddled a new niece or nephew, and caused unbearable heartache with each Mother’s Day that seemed to shout out everyone’s worth except my own. It was the biological clock that challenged to outlast the Energizer bunny and Timex watches with a new force and vengeance. It kept on ticking, with each yearly decibel threatening to deafen me or swallow me whole.

Then God said, “Straighten out your life, return to me and I’ll handle the rest.” There was no negating His hand when at thirty-six, I did exactly that. And a year later, on May 4th, just days before Mother’s Day of 1996, the rabbit died.

The rest became my catalyst. I took a backseat to a needing, cooing, messy baby. I had to move to a bigger nest because everything that came with this tiny infant was super sized…cribs, jumpers, walkers, car seats and all the rest. I had to learn how to assert myself and trust my instincts. I had to remodel the laundry room to my liking as that is where I would spend all my “free” time. I discovered just exactly how clueless I really was.

I remember the tug at my heart with each commercial that showed blond, trim Mom’s in fluffy, bleached-white robes laughing and relaxing with twinkling eyes as pudgy, little fingers wrapped diamond hearts around their necks. My new reality looked a little different. I had become the six-million-dollar mom in a Phyllis Diller meets Mad Hatter sort of way.

(Quote)Kerry-970208 said: Mother's day will be sad for me now--it never was much of a day. My kids are all boys, 29, 21 and 13, and u...

(Quote)Kerry-970208 said:

Mother's day will be sad for me now--it never was much of a day. My kids are all boys, 29, 21 and 13, and usuallly they give me nothing at all. My husband used to try and get me something but that won't happen anymore now that he is dead, so I don't expect anything.

--hide--

Sorry to hear that Kerry. Even though my son' mother left me I constantly reminded my 9 year son how important this day was and always will be. Without her I could have never had my wonderful son.

(Quote)Peter-449116 said:
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:
I never chose to become a mom. It chose me....

(Quote)Peter-449116 said:

Quote:Kathy-635104 said:

I never chose to become a mom. It chose me.

Somewhere between PMS and menopause, marriage and career, there was a longing so deep and primal it could not be ignored. It became a desire each time I cuddled a new niece or nephew, and caused unbearable heartache with each Mother’s Day that seemed to shout out everyone’s worth except my own. It was the biological clock that challenged to outlast the Energizer bunny and Timex watches with a new force and vengeance. It kept on ticking, with each yearly decibel threatening to deafen me or swallow me whole.

Then God said, “Straighten out your life, return to me and I’ll handle the rest.” There was no negating His hand when at thirty-six, I did exactly that. And a year later, on May 4th, just days before Mother’s Day of 1996, the rabbit died.

The rest became my catalyst. I took a backseat to a needing, cooing, messy baby. I had to move to a bigger nest because everything that came with this tiny infant was super sized…cribs, jumpers, walkers, car seats and all the rest. I had to learn how to assert myself and trust my instincts. I had to remodel the laundry room to my liking as that is where I would spend all my “free” time. I discovered just exactly how clueless I really was.

I remember the tug at my heart with each commercial that showed blond, trim Mom’s in fluffy, bleached-white robes laughing and relaxing with twinkling eyes as pudgy, little fingers wrapped diamond hearts around their necks. My new reality looked a little different. I had become the six-million-dollar mom in a Phyllis Diller meets Mad Hatter sort of way.

(Quote)Erik-767389 said: Sorry to hear that Kerry. Even though my son' mother left me I constantly reminded my 9 year son how ...

(Quote)Erik-767389 said: Sorry to hear that Kerry. Even though my son' mother left me I constantly reminded my 9 year son how important this day was and always will be. Without her I could have never had my wonderful son.

--hide--

Erik,

That is a wonderful thing to teach your son. You are right, without our ex-spouses, we would not have our children.

It's a little late, but...Kerry, the first Valentine's Day after my husband died, I went out and bought a nice bouquet of flowers. I was arranging them when the eldest kid came in and asked, "Where did those come from?" I said, "I bought them." She said, "You bought Valentine's flowers for yourself?""Yeah. Who else is going to give me flowers?"Ever year after than she saw to it that the kids gave me something.Sometimes you've got to make your own happy.