YOU DO IT, I DO IT, EVERYONE'S DOING IT.

“When are you going to have some kids? You know you’re not getting any younger." This is what a co-worker said to me after learning that someone we both know is expecting a child. What if I can’t have children? What if I don’t want children? Why don’t people think about that before speaking?

"Apparently, her husband’s making it big!" A man to his male friend about a woman that drove by alone in an expensive car.

"You’ll change your mind. Once you get pregnant your whole viewpoint will change. You’ll come around when you have a kid. You’re young, you don’t know what you want."Things that people say to me when I mention that I don’t want to have children, ever. I am a nineteen-year-old woman. Made me feel frustrated, and powerless to control my future. Angry that no woman is “too young” to know that she *does* want to be a mother, but is always “too young” to know that she does not.

"You’re so beautiful – why are you still single?"This is a question I hear on a weekly basis from acquaintances, family, and complete strangers. I’m a graduate student with an A- average, yet people define me according to my ability (or lack thereof) to find a husband. Makes me feel minimized, demeaned, humiliated.

"You’ll make a great wife someday!"My grandmother to me, a 16 year-old girl, after I made dinner for my whole family. I cook because I’m the only vegan in my family and it’s the only way I’m guaranteed something to eat.(http://www.microaggressions.com/context/gender)

Microaggressions are defined as "brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative...slights and insults towards" a particular group, due to race, gender, sexual orientation, or ability. The examples of microaggression listed above were sent in to The Microaggressions Project by real people. The examples above are a harsh reminder of how society perpetuates dangerous and marginalizing stereotypes and standards on a day to day basis. Do the individuals who make these statements intend to harm, isolate, or demean? Not necessarily; in fact, they may not even be aware of the gravity of their words. They could be you, me, parents, lovers, mentors, strangers, friends, professors. However, we cannot accept lack of malintent as an excuse. The first step to addressing the severe consequences of microaggressions is to make others around us aware of their existence. Although we sometimes view awareness as the solution when there is no solution, it is important to realize how we can take advantage of the ability to spread awareness. In fact, my first exposure to the word "microaggression" was through a friend's Buzzfeed post on my Facebook newsfeed. After some Google-ing, I stumbled upon The Microaggression Project, which is doing exactly what needs to be done. By constructing a social-media-esque site in which users share their experiences, this project is collecting stories and maximizing their audiences in order to educate, spark curiosity, increase awareness and start conversations. A reaction, no matter positive or negative, is enough to plant a seed of an idea. And under the right condition, this seed of an idea can lead to meaningful dialogue, initiative, and change. Microaggressions, being a seemingly inevitable result of differences in class, power, and privilege, may never disappear altogether. However, this should not deter us. Instead, we must choose to believe that heightened awareness, knowledge, and honest communication can result in greater understanding and connection between all human beings.