Depressed

I have had a long and rough year. I've had some of the highest highs and lowest lows in the last 12 months. In the last few weeks it seems to be catching up with me. Today was rock bottom, or I really hope it was. I cried on the bathroom floor at work. Came home after a huge disappointment following work and cried myself to sleep. Slept for a few hours. Now I'm just at this numb stage. I have been sticking to primal/paleo for the most part, but have reeeealy been using that 20 percent, and then some on bad days. I am on anti-depressants to control my panic attacks, but they aren't working. I am seeing my doctor after the holiday weekend to discuss alternatives. For reasons I'd rather not mention I absolutely cannot take any benzodiazepines. My question is are there any natural foods or practices that help control anxiety and depression stemming from PTSD? The traumatic event is from 14 years ago and has been probed and dealt with as much as humanly possible, so therapy isn't going to help at this point, not to mention I am over it. I've just had anxiety ever since. I've tried valarien root and tryptophan (the tryptophan makes me throw up) and neither worked. I do meditate, and it has helped to an extent, but not enough. I am so exhausted from fighting panic attacks at work all day that most days it's all I can to to make dinner and get a walk in. Some days I can't eat and just sleep until the next morning. I have been lashing out at a few friends, male friends in particular for some reason. I have been bitter about other's happiness and have just in general not been "me". It is beginning to scare me and I only have a couple people I can talk to about this. Meeting up with my mom tomorrow for some motherly advice. I know this might not be exactly the appropriate forum for this post, but I'm not exactly going to put this on my Facebook page, lol. And I do want advice from a primal point of view. My only primal friend was an email buddy that doesn't really talk to me anymore so this is the option I'm left with. Please be kind with any suggestions, I'm not all that thick-skinned these days. And if you actually took the time to read that... thank you so much.

I notice I feel the same way when life just starts stacking crap up. Unfortunately, for me, I'm learning I stress-eat and my sleep quality takes a massive hit when I'm unable to turn my brain off. So it only compounds te problem until I pull up my big boy pants and square things away. Fortunately (?) I've dealt with major depression before so I recognize the signs much earlier now.

Recently, I started meditating. It's hard, but I can tell it's helping.

The only real advice I can give specifically is to surround yourself with those you love and who love you. They can take it if/when you lash out but also call you on any BS too. If you are using medication, be aware that it is a bandaid and not a solution. You must address the underlying stressor via counseling of some sort.

Of course, Primal living will help all of this. Get plenty of sunlight and physical activity. Eat lots of good food and hang with your clan.

Hi Jena - I've had some similar experiences, and I work in the field. For god's sake don't listen to Derpa - (s)he's wrong on so many levels and this isn't the time or place to debate them.

I wondered, too, if you're trying to be too low on the carbs - that can be hell on your moods, especially panic attacks and depression. Eat fruit, starchy veges, chocolate - anything that works for you. (when I'm feeling really bad I use sugar, pancakes and maple syrup . . .). I also think Charlie's advice is good - focus on the primal lifestyle rather than food. Sunlight, people you love, kindness to yourself . . . and eat what makes you feel good. This isn't the time to be overly restrictive.

There are so many different kinds of antidepressants. It's true that SSRIs often come with increased side effects, but there are other classes out there. A good conversation with your doctor should bring up more options. Medications may not be for everyone, but some people do find medications that give them their lives back. If you find something that works for you, who cares if it doesn't fit the Primal paradigm perfectly? Your well-being is the priority, not someone else's rules.

In terms of other strategies, there are lots! Yoga, meditation, hypnosis, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (especially for PTSD), emotional freedom technique, acupuncture, massage therapy...just a few that came to mind. I definitely think there's a link between food and mood, so it may be worth keeping track of what you eat and how it makes you feel. The Icarus Project has a great community for alternative mental health approaches, and they have an entire board for food and mental health: Community | The Icarus Project

I know you wrote that you're over therapy, but would you consider a therapy or counselling approach you haven't already tried? It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of difficult stuff on your own. Sometimes just having a safe person to talk with is helpful. Or maybe there's a peer group in your area?

ETA: I think Jac's advice is great! And best of luck with your journey, Jena

All SSRIs are the same, they're all serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Trust me, I'm not wrong. I watched my mom go from being a literal zombie, to maniacal hormonal mess that would throw beer bottles at me and try to slam my head into the wall for no reason except that she couldn't control herself.

I understand it may come as a shock something they told you all these years is wrong; but you're right about one thing, this thread isn't for debating.

i've been depressed with anxiety since childhood, ranging from suicidal to just bummed out. i take medication, and i find it helps, but i had to try lots of stuff before i landed on zoloft

i've been to counseling, but never found the right person to talk to so i gave up on that

what helps me, with anxiety as well as depression, is the zoloft, sitting outside and just breathing, writing, hanging out with loved ones, hugging my dogs, humor sites like buzzfeed and comedies. even when i don't want to laugh, finding something or someone to laugh at can help

for my anxiety specific crap to deal with, what is most easy is to have someone go somewhere with me or show me how to do something. after that it's zoloft, staying away from food made with flour (my anxiety sky rockets when i have flour stuff for a period of time), or just sitting in my car crying then trying again later

beautiful
yeah you are

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Hi Jena,
Things that have helped me:
- You say you meditate. Do you exercise? I know you are exhausted but regular exercise can make a huge difference if you aren't already doing it.
- Being part of a group or club that meets regularly (work and school don't count) brings as much happiness as doubling your income (source David Brooks: The man who can measure true happiness | Science | The Observer). So if you're not doing that already it may help.
Apart from that, I empathise strongly, hope you get better and believe you will get better. As Churchill said, when you're going through hell, keep going.

I take venlafaxine, it has been the best anti depressant I have ever taken. Yes, the side effects for the first two weeks were strange but now I don't have any. I feel clear and definitely not suicidal or homicidal or any of that. Don't stop taking them with out talking to your doctor as this can cause more problems and I'm sure he can get you onto something that works better for you. The primal living has definitely helped and I am now aiming to start weaning off the pills in a few months.
I wish you all the best.