Thursday, August 18, 2005

"It's such a changeFor us to live so independentlyFreedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfullyJust look aboutYou owe it to yourself to check it outCan't you feel a brand new day?Can't you feel a brand new day?Can't you feel a brand new day?Can't you feel a brand new day?"

I can see the scene playing in my head as I delete 13 forwards of the Kanye West story, 11 forwards of the Al Sharpton story and 7 or so emails emploring me to get involved with the planning for the Millions More March.

"So Goosey Poosey joined Cocky Locky, Henny Penny and Chicken Little, and they went along as fast as they could."

Remember the folk tale Chicken Little? Well I have been living a Chicken Little nightmare for the last 10 years or so. A lot of Black gay men have AIDS and HIV. So what else is new? Well, a study published in the most recent MMWR in which 46% of Black gay men in 5 cities were found to be HIV positive, that's what's new. Now, Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Cocky Locky and Goosey Poosey all have articles, open letters, social marketing campaigns, and subsequent research designed to address this new and emerging issue. How sweet. The only crazy thing is that this is not a new and emerging issue!!

For the last 10 years my Chicken Little nightmare has been the image of me working my a#% off to prevent the spread of HIV and every two years looking up to see the motley crew, Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Goosey Poosey, and Cocky Locky running to tell the king that the sky is falling!

Now once again we're running to tell the king.

"The sky is falling!" cried Chicken Little. "We must tell the king."

"I know a shortcut to the palace," said Foxy woxy sweetly. "Come and follow me."

"But wicked Foxy Woxy did not lead the others to the palace. He led them right up to the entrance of his foxhole. Once they were inside, Foxy Woxy was planning to gobble them up!"

The question that remains for me is: How many researchers, MMWR articles, and morbid study findings do we need to know that it's bad. How long will our HIV prevention efforts be reactionary and guided by hysteria? I've often wondered what kind of a living I could make as a researcher if I, once every two years sent out an email that said: "It's bad, and it's getting worse." I think I could save CDC and countless universities millions of research dollars. Dollars that could quite possibly go to fund the prevention efforts of the organizations that would be charged to react to my declarations.

I say all this to say: It's bad, and it's getting worse. We can't possibly be surprised when these data emerge to remind us. So why are we all running around with chicken little screaming "The sky is falling!"? The sky has been falling for a while! I say, "To hell with the king", cover your head!

"After that day, Chicken Little always carried an umbrella with her when she walked in the woods..."

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

According to a report in the Washington Post, both Mayor Anthony Williams and NAACP Chairman Julian Bond have called for Wilson and Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan to include gay men and lesbians in the planning of the Millions More Movementhttp://www.washblade.com/2005/8-12/news/localnews/pastor.cfm

Is it really all that serious? Really? The million man march in 1996 (which I attended as a closet queen) excluded Black gay, bisexual and transgender men. The National Black Lesbian and Gay Leadership Forum actually asked to be included on the dais and was denied inclusion by the organizing committee lead by Farrakhan appointee Rev. Benjamin Chavez. Chavez has since converted to Islam and is known by the members of the Nation of Islam as Brother Minister Benjamin Muhammad.

Louis Farrakhan himself has a long history of crimes against Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender people. Chief among what I consider to be these crimes is the rhetoric that children growing up gay and lesbian in the Nation of Islam have to hear about themselves and the fear that these children experience everyday.

Now Black Gays want to be included in the organizing of this event and NAACP and other Negroid Bastions of Power have spoken to urge Louie and company to include the fags and dykes in their plans. Washington Blade and, of course, Southern Voice, which both seem to be run by individuals who love to point out the failure of mainsteam Blacks to get in line with all that mainstream gays do, runs articles exposing this sin. And everyone is up in a tissy about Black Gays being included in the planning of the Millions More march.

Is it really that serious? Are we, proud, Black, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people really that hungry for that ever elusive Black heterosexual nod (approval) that we would stand with this group after they have demonstrated that we are not wanted? When everyone involved in this group has a history of homophobia and perpetuating violence against us with their severe and hateful rhetoric, do we want in? After 20 to 30 years of Louis Farrakhan's evil rhetoric regarding Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trans people is patting Keith Boykin on the head and tossing him a biscuit really enough for us to feel like we can march in October and be truly marching for US. Is throwing a doggy biscuit to one of the safest -Here I refer to Keith Boykin as safe regarding his class, gender presentation, masculinity, and politics- Black Gay men on the planet really what we Black LGBT folks needin order to rubber-stamp Farrakan's march?

Friday, August 05, 2005

So it occured to me: Damnit I'm a poet! Considering that there may be a couple of people who read my blog, and contemplating about if I died today or tommorow, I've decided that I don't want a freakin Return of the Sith blurb to be my legacy. In so far as I have a legacy, and in so far as I can impact or in the minutest way shape my legacy; My legacy will be: Poet. Not AIDS Prevention worker, not social worker,not fat queen who hangs out at the Starbucks on 7th street! POET!

So read my poems. These are just some of the nastier ones. Lots of penises in these. I hope that I can share the more revolutionary ones at some point. I have some short stories that I'll post as well.

IfBlack men loving Black menIs the revolutionary actThenOur fucking must be the revolutionAnd ifOur fucking is the revolutionI’d bet we could fuck our way to freedom baby

I bet we couldI bet if you lay downOn your back, your dick in the airAnd take the fullness of my ass as I engulfYour man-nessI could ride youAround the world until weUndo globalizationUntil weWe fucked George Bush out of the white houseAnd out of Iraq!

If you place your front teeth flushWith my nipple between themIf you bite until you taste bloodSmell pain and hear my screamYou could probably play my nipples untilWe fucked away sexism, gender bias,Silence, andDeath from no voice

I believe that Black men loving black menIs the revolutionary actSo black men fucking black men isThe revolutionI am fucking my way to freedom

Fucking awayRacismHomophobiaSexismMisogyny

If you threw my legs over my shouldersEntered me, ever so gentlyAnd softly messaged my prostateWhile staring into my eyesListening to them sing sonnetsAnd all kinds of funky jazzTo the rhythm of usI bet we couldEradicate hunger

If I felt the fullness of youIf I, bathed in pleasure,ScreamedYour nameI bet I could screamUntil the sanctions are lifted from Cuba

If I painted pleasureOn your sphincter withMy tongueLapped up salty hintsOf musty you onto my palletI bet if I licked your ass like thatI bet I could lick untilHate left the world

This revolutionIsBeing loved

This revolution isBeing fucked without fear

This revolution isFucking without fear

This revolution isLiving openlyLoving openlyFucking openlyI bet we could fuck our way to freedom baby.

under the sunBeatingspromised by hate, by love,strangers, neighborsbrothers, fathers and mothersare a fowl after tastesswept away by the thrust of my hipsyour hipsour thrusting into each otherinto light

the threat of immunodeficiency,excommunication, termination,and being disowned are lost behind therhythm of our criesthe ecstasy of our couplingthe transformativestrength of our fuckingwithout fear.Ynkuya 6/29/04

Just for a chance toActually taste himMy tongue dancing to the symphonyof labored breath?

I ride his dickDryRawAnd unsheathedFinallyFucked in trust?

I relishThe taste of his skinThe warmth of his semenRolling down my throat?

I snub the dangersPromised by bloodAnd biteJust too deepInto his nipple?

If he bathes my insides…

With the cascading streamsOf holy fluidNever to be spilled?

Ecstasy, intimacy,And notionsThought much to braveIn this age?

What if we fucked without fear?What if we fucked fearlessly?What if we couldThrow danger, out the windowWith her sister trepidationDance in the face of promisedMortalityFucking without fear,Fuck fearlessly?