Why Not Vote for Ghouliani?

Top 9, 10, 11 Reasons YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO VOTE FOR RUDY GHOULIANI:

01) Cause He Might Not Be in the Mafia. Like father, like son? His dad, Harold, spent 10 years in Sing Sing for armed robbery. Allegedly, he was also a “feared” leg-breaker for a major loan-sharking operation. His uncle, Leo D’Avanzo, ran loansharking and gambling operations out of Brooklyn. His cousin, Lewis D’Avanzo was known as “Steve the Blond,” listed as “armed and dangerous” in FBI bulletins, and died in a shoot-out with the FBI.

02) Cause He Might Not Protect Child Molesters. Well, so what if his childhood friend, Monsignor Alan Placa, has been accused of molesting several children, and also of covering up molestation charges against other priests. That’s no reason not to personally hire him and pay him millions, right? And I’m sure that Rudy, the DA at the time of the West Point day care molestation scandal (which caused many top military personnel to resign in disgust), really couldn’t find any proof to warrant any indictments in that case, despite a civil court judge judge later finding the evidence of abuse so “overwhelming,” he overthrew the federal law prohibiting the government’s liability in such cases.

03) Cause He Might Not Destroy Evidence. I’m sure anybody who allegedly made a name for himself as a prosecutor would know how to handle a crime-scene, right? You know, the kind where investigators could shift through the scene looking for clues as to what happened and how. So, of course, you wouldn’t sell the steel from WTC towers at below market prices to China and ship it out ASAP, before any pesky investigators bothered to analyze it. And I’m sure that were this steel so “worthless” as to be sold at below-market prices you wouldn’t bother to put a GPS (which cost more than the scrap in the back was worth) on every truck and fire any drivers who took long lunches, right?

04) Cause He Might Not Be a Homosexual. Well, just cause he took part in every gay pride parade in New York when he was mayor doesn’t mean anything (including one where, oddly enough, NAMBLA marched). Neither, does it mean anything that he donned a pink dress and called himself “Rudia,” or that he dressed as a chorus girl and even danced the line. And, I’m sure, despite the groping and fondling, he and Donald Trump are just close friends. And, I’m sure, after his divorce, when he moved in with a gay couple, it was only for “convenience.” {*2}

05) Cause He Might Not Kill You. Well, he might not actually kill you, but he might “let you die.” Apparently, he had enough foreknowledge of 911 to move his emergency bunker from the complex a month before, and enough foresight to “know” that the buildings would collapse too (even though such a thing had NEVER happened before). So, he didn’t really “kill” anybody. And, just like he said, the brave firefighters in those same buildings disregarded the “clear out” signal. I’m sure it had nothing to do with their faulty radios, which Rudy was responsible for having updated, not getting the signal.

06) Cause He Really Might Not Kill You. Martin Barreto, a one-time deputy press secretary for Giuliani was found naked and strangled to death in his apartment one night. Now, there is absolutely no evidence or implication linking the Ghoul to this whatsoever, and I’m sure there never will be. Since the murder, an odd homeless drug addict has turned up and confessed, and the murder is now being viewed as “accidental?” Regardless, one dead aide pales in comparison to egregiously long list of dead former close associates of the Clintons. However, this discussion raises some interesting points which I won’t hazzard.

07) Cause He Might Not Be a Traitor. Well, maybe “traitor” is kind of harsh. All he’s doing is making a few million serving as legal counsel for Cintra, who’s only a foreign interest trying to buy up some roads. These are just some dumb roads that US Taxpayers have already paid for, but are now being sold to a foreign company for a fraction of that cost, so that they can make a few billion collecting tolls from the same people that paid for these existing roads. And if they happen to use these roads, to facilitate the North American Union, and basically, get rid of the United States, and it’s pesky little constitution, it’s not treason. Oh, wait … it is.

08) Cause He Might Not Be a Hypocrite. Indisputably, 9/11 was the absolute best thing that ever happened to Rudy. He was a lame duck mayor, extremely unpopular, and on his way out. Prospects for a future political career were mediocre at best, as New Yorkers, along with the rest of the country had access to statistics that showed, no one could take credit for “cleaning up New York,” because crime had been drastically reduced across the board in all U.S. cities. Then, “boom” (yes, pun intended), 9/11 happens and Rudy Giuliani is on the front page of every newspaper and magazine across the country, being hailed as a hero. And, what did he do? Aside from all the things previously covered, he was there. How do you become a hero just for “being there?” And, now, all we hear from the Rudy campaign, is “9/11” and “terrorists.” Ask the firefighters! No, not the dead ones who died because of Rudy’s incompetence and malfeasance, but the survivors who are pissed off that the Ghoul is being a such a hypocrite.

09) Cause He Might Not Be a Fascist. Gun control is a classic fascist citizen disarmament tactic. Rudy has personally called for National Gun Licensing (roughly, what that does, is making the right to own a gun so expensive, that normal citizens can no longer afford them, but the rich elites and mafiosos who can work the system, can). And then, the thing that fascists hate more than a well-armed citizenry who can keep them in check, is one that has civil liberties and inalienable rights. Rudy’s track record on personal liberties while Mayor was appalling. What’s the old saying? If it looks like fascism and smells like fascism, then it might be fascism?

10) Cause He Might Not Be a Prophet. Remember those Anthrax mailings which had the nation in panic. You know, the ones that conveniently shut down the Supreme Court and had Congress opening and closing and in a state of jitters around the time the Patriot Act was being voted on and signed into law. You know, the ones where letters were sent to Senator Daschle, who was lobbying to limit the duration of the act and Senator Leahy, who expressed reservation about the act (and as chair of the Judiciary Committee, would have managed the debate on the bill). You know, the anthrax mailings that were never “solved.” And who, but none other than Giuliani Partners was able to capitalize and make millions off anthrax decontamination projects? Wow, that man is prescient! {*3}

11) Cause, Wow, He Might Even, Like, Be Like Nostradamus Talk about a knack for being at the right place at the right time, the Ghoul was also in London on the day of the 7/7 bombings. He was even staying at a hotel down the street from one of the bombing sites. Not, that in any way, should anyone draw conclusions that he was somehow involved. I’m sure it’s just coincidental. Just as it was merely coincidental that his good buddy, Benjamin Netanyahu, also happened to be in NYC for 9/11 and London for 7/7. Nothing to see here folks. Move along. Move along.

This article may not necessarily reflect the present views of The Celtic Rebel, and has been left in the archive to show stages in growth and development of The Rebel Path.

*1: I guess I should call him by his real name, Rudy Giuliani, but Ghouliani (credits to Jack Blood for the apropo moniker) just seems so much more fitting. Plus, the Webster’s definition seems spot-on & the resemblance to the 1922 Murnau classic is uncanny, no?

GHOULPronunciation: ‘gül Function: noun Etymology: Arabic ghul
1 : a legendary evil being that robs graves and feeds on corpses
2 : one suggestive of a ghoul; especially : one who shows morbid interest in things considered shocking or repulsive

*2: Rudy’s sexual orientation is not the point behind Reason 4. It is the hypocrisy of his facade as the right-wing Christian-conservative family-values candidate and his ringing endorsement by Pat Robertson, the evangelist who’s blamed gays for everything ranging from Hitler to Hurricane Katrina. [TRUE!] [LB]

*3: I can’t help but point out, that while not directly related to Rudy (aside from that his firm was awarded the clean-up project afterwards), that one of the recipients of the anthrax mailings was the tabloid in Florida that had been printing pictures of Jenna Bush stumbling around drunk, and coincidentally, stopped doing so afterwards. How convenient, no? [LB]

*4: I’m sure me not being able to decide on 10 reasons, and wafting between 9 and 11, was purely coincidental, as was the chance that the number 10 would lie between right between the numbers 9 and 11.