The "That's What She Said Guy" Gets a Job at Subway

April 11, 2007

Female Customer: Hi. Can I get a twelve inch…That’s What She Said Guy: That’s what she said!Female Customer: Salami on the Italian Herbs and Cheese Bread.That’s What She Said Guy: Salami? Oh, that’s what she said! Zing!Female Customer: Yeah, okay. So, if you could just put it in the oven…but don’t keep it in too long. I don’t want it to burn.That’s What She Said Guy: Oh man, it totally burns when I pee.Female Customer: What the fu…That’s What She Said Guy: That’s what she said.Female Customer: That doesn’t even make sense. Look, can you just make my sandwich please.That’s What She Said Guy: (murmurs softly) That’s what she said.Female Customer: What?

The That’s What She Said Guy stares at her while sipping his Coca-Cola.

Female Customer: Do you still have that package deal with the sandwich of the day, drink, and soda for…That’s What She Said Guy: Package! That’s what…oh shoot…

The That’s What She Said Guy spills an entire soda all over the customer.

Female Customer: Jesus! You got soda all over me! My purse, my jacket! I’m all wet! I’m completely soaked!That’s What She Said Guy: Haha! Yes! That is so what she said!Female Customer: What are you…let me see your manager right now!

The manager comes over to the counter.

Manager: I’m sorry. What seems to be the problem?Female Customer: This employee of yours spilled a drink all over me, will not make my sandwich, and frankly is making some pretty sexually suggestive comments.That’s What She Said Guy: Hey man! No fair! That’s what she said!Manager: Well, you’re not the first to complain about him. I’ll take care of this.

The managers pulls the That’s What She Said Guy aside.

Manager: Listen. If you’re going to continue working here, you’ll need to change your attitude and treat the customers with respect. Now put on your other glove and get to work.That’s What She Said Guy: That’s totally what she said.Manager: OK, you know what you’re fired.That’s What She Said Guy: That’s what she said.Manager: No, seriously. You’re fired. I’m calling the police.