All guys have fantasy fucks, right?
For example, being the meat in a Salma Hayek/Penelope Cruz sandwich.
That's the good kind. I got the bad kind last night.

Team A is in first place, with only 2 games left vs teams with a winning record. Need him to lose this week.
Going into Sunday night game he's up by just 10 points, with only Gronk left.
His opponent has Dal K - Maher and LB - Smith on Monday.
Gronk is downgraded to out. I check Team A's bench - he has no other TE.
I go to the "available players" section to add NE's backup TE to my roster, to block Team A. He's gone. I go to the trades page, thinking one of the other teams had the same idea and grabbed him, and sure enough, TE Allen is at the top of the list.
Drafted at 5:03 PM by . . . Team A.
He was ahead of me by about one minute.
Allen adds 2 pts to his total. And this will come back to haunt me.

I get home Monday night and find Maher has missed a FG. Bad sign.
But no problem, Smith is doing well, 5 pts up already.
Maher adds an extra point, Team A only up 6 with three quarters left.
Looking good.

Prescott's in the red zone, should be good for a FG or extra point, but he says, "F*ck Mr. Nascar" and throws an INT.

Smith comes up with what is ruled a fumble, good for another point, but it goes to review. Player caught it, turned, had it up against his chest, but replay booth officials get in on the f*cking and pull the old, "Didn't make a football move" ruse and reverse it.

14-14 at halftime, and Team A is only up by about 3.5.
Should be easy, Dallas will get a FG or TD, or two, right?
WRONG. At home, off a bye with extra rest and prep time, Dallas goes scoreless in the second half.

But I'm okay - Maher was only good for two points but Smith got me over the hump: Team A loses by just over a half of a point.
Looks like he's the one who got royally screwed, right?
Wrong again.

Apparently, the Yahoo scorekeepers said, "Everyone is screwing Mr. Nascar tonight, let's hop on that train." They take Smith from 10 points to 9.5.
Final score: Team B 108.00, Team A 108.08.
A win by .08!
F*cked by being one minute late in getting TE Allen.
F*cked by Maher missing the FG.
F*cked by Prescott throwing the red zone pick.
F'cked by the replay booth.
F'cked by Garret and his unimaginative play calling in a scoreless second half.

What are you gonna do? Laugh it off, write it up at C Mall as therapy to get it out of your system, and try to figure out what to take in Kent/Buffalo tonight.
I am enjoying the hell out of this fantasy stuff,
and again, my "thanks" to Wayne for putting it all together.

Hey even if you got allen maybe he gets a TE Monday night and still wins. It just wasn't meant to be I guess.

I had a beat once where I lost on Wednesday. I won my match by half a point and on Wednesday Yahoo did a stat correction and gave their defensive player another tackle. I end up losing by a half … days later. I went from 3rd to 7th in the standings, on a Wednesday!!!

"Hey Nascar, that FG missed was tied for the shortest FG missed by any kicker this year. I thought that would make you feel better! BRUTAL"

I missed that little fact. By the time I got home and turned the game on it was mid first quarter, so I didn't know.
But it figures, it was that kind of night!

My team should be all right, at the draft I thought to win you have to take some chances, so I trusted in Reid knowing what he was doing in letting Smith go, and grabbed Mahomes as my first QB. That worked out well.

Lost one game when I did a last minute sub - put in Drake, took out Lynch, a mistake that cost me the win. Same deal my second loss - put in the wrong line up. This week I got beat no matter who I used.

Another factor that added to Team A's win: Team B had Buffalo D and Chicago D, and, against Mr. INT himself, Petermen, he puts in Buffalo D, which got him 2 points. Chicago? 28 points! (I have a theory this was one of those things where the team owner passed away during the week and his knucklehead son took over. How else do you NOT put in Chi against Petermen?)

I was hesitant to do this write-up, thought some may take it incorrectly as complaining rather than just having fun with a bad beat. Figured, ahh the hell with it, post it, if one person gets a laugh out of it, or commiserates, it was worth it.

I am also with you on Mahomes. I have him in 2 of my 3 leagues and he is unreal. In league 3 my team is rolling, 2 games and 300 points ahead of 2nd place. We start 2 QB's in that league and my lineup is pretty sick.

"Ok, wait a minute. You had the Buffalo and Chicago defense and you chose to start Buffalo with Peterman starting and Chicago being a 10 point favorite, meaning they would most likely score more? No offense buddy but you deserved to lose. That was a no brainer and a horrible decision! lol."

Clarification. I didn't have those D's.
NO WAY I would have played Buff D if I had Chi D facing Petermen.
I wasn't Team B in the story above, I was just an interested bystander in second place, rooting for Team B to win his game against the first place team, and got screwed when he lost by .08.

When I saw that he played Buf D I thought maybe he quit on the season and didn't update his lineup.
Either that, or the dead owner/son took over theory.

Hell of a draft you pulled off in your other league. Mahomes, Gurley, Gordon, Hunt AND Hill? Nice.
I have Mahomes, Hunt and Landry, and Thielen, need more out of Landy over the rest of the season.

2nd Place 2010 MLB 2nd half Contest
3rd Place 2010 Capper of The Year
Co Good guy of the Year award 2010
Poster of the Month Award Winner
2009 Co Champ World Series Contest
January 2012 Play of the Day winner
Bracket Buster Survivor 2nd Place
2012 Cappersmall Hall of Fame inductee
2014 PGA Golf Season 1st place
2014 PGA Golf Season Money List 3rd place
2014 LMS Point Spread contest runner up
2016 Golf Team contest 1st place

A surprise twist and ending to the story:
I checked standings last night and see Team A is at 7-2, not 8-1. Apparently, after being graded as a loser last week, then retrograded to a .08 winner, they had their defensive player's score corrected on Monday.
Solo tackle changed to assist, a half point taken away and his .08 win became a .42 loss!
I'm only a game back now instead of two, and along with two other teams have a good chance to catch him.

A surprise twist and ending to the story:
I checked standings last night and see Team A is at 7-2, not 8-1. Apparently, after being graded as a loser last week, then retrograded to a .08 winner, they had their defensive player's score corrected on Monday.
Solo tackle changed to assist, a half point taken away and his .08 win became a .42 loss!
I'm only a game back now instead of two, and along with two other teams have a good chance to catch him.