Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.

Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.

H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often.

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.

I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.

Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.

Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?

Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?

2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.

http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com

We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

You were not even alive the last time Calgary sipped Stanley Cup glory. All your memories are of a college girls baring there breasts on the red mile. The closest you'll ever get to see a woman's breasts. Blogging from your grandmothers basement because Dad kicked you out for trolling Oiler's sites looking for a real tem to cheer for.

I'm an Oiler fan and i'm not the least offended by this article. This is what the Skirmish of Alberta come to these days, no knife twisting whatsoever, void of passion on both ends. Might as well be an exhibition game.

Does anyone even care anymore, sucks to be a hockey fan in Alberta, now and for the foreseeable future. Half a dozen too many teams and not enough decent players to go around. Oilers, as usual, get outworked and hopefully embarrassed on national television this evening. 30th place is all ours you Flame hosers, so don't be taking an unplanned night off. When it comes to tanking, Edmonton wrote the book on that. Respect your tanking elders.

Imagine if Kevin Lowe was fired and had to go look for a job in the NHL.

What skills do you have ? I know winning

What is your record with the Oilers? and not when you were a player

The sad thing is, it would take less than one season for Lowe to get hired on somewhere else. Edmonton isn't the only boys fraternity in hockey and definitely not the only team managed insanely if viewed by its fan base.

Why is this dumbass even writing on this blog? I come here to read and interact with people about hockey, specifically the Oilers. I live in Calgary but cheer for Edmonton. This piece was inappropriate and on behalf of Calgarians, I apologize to the wonderful people of Edmonton on behalf of this immature fool.

After this year is over, your Calgary Flames will have made it out of the 1st round of the playoffs ONCE in 25 years. Through chokes, and just terrible play, that's ONE time you've actually made it out of the 1st round in 25 years!!!! The worst record in professional sports.

I don't find this post funny in the slightest. It's not because I lack a sense of humour, but rather, because I have a good one. Feel free to make fun of a city. Next time, try to actually include wit! This garbage is pointless.

I liked the GDB! that road comment was hella funny, I drive those streets too, HA! "pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker!" so true. Although I will say this, at least we can drive the speed limit or more during rush our on all our roads, vs the 10km/hr deerfoot

back to hockey, this is going to be an awful game, tune out folks! make your 2.5 hours actually count by drinking wine in the gutter.

The sad thing is, it would take less than one season for Lowe to get hired on somewhere else. Edmonton isn't the only boys fraternity in hockey and definitely not the only team managed insanely if viewed by its fan base.

I think you are completely wrong about this. Lowe is indeed a known entity in the NHL community. And that is exactly why he would never be hired to manage any where else.

MacT was never offered an nhl job as coach after resigning in '09. He never got another job in the nhl until he was hired by the oil this spring. By the same guy who hired him to be coach - Lowe.

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.

I've edited/removed comments about or relating to the original reference to the flood in Calgary. That means some of you lost comments speaking out against the first reference because the initial comment was included. No other way.

An event in which people died isn't to be used as a punch line on this website. We're better than that. At least we should be.

I liked the GDB! that road comment was hella funny, I drive those streets too, HA! "pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker!" so true. Although I will say this, at least we can drive the speed limit or more during rush our on all our roads, vs the 10km/hr deerfoot

back to hockey, this is going to be an awful game, tune out folks! make your 2.5 hours actually count by drinking wine in the gutter.

At least if the game really stinks the GSP fight is tonight. Sports bar is only 4 blocks from my house

Anyone know what the lineups will be? I see Oscar was assigned to OKC and Arcobello recalled.

I was just thinking the same thing. Looks like the writer got a little caught up in the boa banter ( which I think he did a half decent job on .... At least better than he's getting credit for ) and forgot to put in the line ups for tonight.

I hope arco is playing. He should under no circumstances not be in the line-up with the season he's had. That was a big mistake. Time for Eakins to set things right.

This is my first time commenting. I have never been motivated enough to do so. Even with my team as dismal as they are. This alleged human is a giant a__hole. What a DB any reason why you let him post this here?

The winner of the the previous Oilers/Flames game allows a writer to write the GDB for both sites. Since the Oilers haven't won anything in 8 years I suggest you get used to being trolled by FN writers.

Why is Cowtown always signing our sloppy seconds? Glenx, Staios, and now Smid...and why Smid in his prime of his career?. I hate the Calgary Flames with a passion and always loved Smid's hard-nose play and shot blocking ability. Was MacT in a hurry to catch the next bus home from KGM or something and the best he could do to make a trade was trade Smid to our arch rival, Lex Luther, 300 KM south on the QE2? One bold move after another...

I don't really mind if our new Arena looks like sperm. Sperm makes me think of potency... and potency and the Oilers should be synonymous terms!!! They're going to make Edmonton pregnant with Stanley cups... just watch, and they are going to have to screw Calgary to get every one of them.

I liked the GDB! that road comment was hella funny, I drive those streets too, HA! "pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker!" so true. Although I will say this, at least we can drive the speed limit or more during rush our on all our roads, vs the 10km/hr deerfoot

back to hockey, this is going to be an awful game, tune out folks! make your 2.5 hours actually count by drinking wine in the gutter.

this game is gonna be a riot! id say make a drinking game out of it... everytime someone sucks so bad you actually laugh out loud, take a drink. please have a designated driver and drink responsibly!!

This province is the hockey capital of the world. We produce hockey players like Vancouver produces street arsonists and Toronto produces ludicrous mayors. Do you realize that there are more than twice as many Alberta born players in the NHL than there are Russian born players? And Russia has 100 times the population, and twice as much snow.

Alberta has produced Hart, Norris, and Vezina trophy winners. Alberta born players captain three NHL teams. The next big thing in hockey, 15 year old Tyler Benson, is from Alberta. He shattered the Alberta Bantam scoring record last year. The record he broke belonged to Joffrey Lupul. And whose record did Lupul break? Jerome Inginla's. This province breeds excellence in hockey.

In the 1980's our professional teams reflected that. For eight (that is EIGHT!) straight years an Alberta team was in the Stanley Cup final, winning 6 times. Alberta owned the NHL in the 1980's. Alberta was called Death Valley for eastern teams making their swing through here.

We have the most loyal, rabid, knowledgable hockey fans in the NHL. And that is because most of us have played the game, coached our kids, got up at 5:30 to clear the outdoor rinks or to drive to 6 a.m. practices. We live, breathe and die for the game.

The Battle of Alberta used to mean something. It used to mean the battle for supremacy of the NHL. Which used to mean, when Edmonton played Calgary back in the 1980's, it was to determine who was the best Hockey Club in the world. Yes. The World.

So now, as we prepare for tonight's tilt, between two bottom feeders with nothing at stake but the title of least worst "professional"team in the NHL, it makes me mad and sad. Ignorance, arrogance, cronyism, breathtaking stupidity, yeah they're all to blame for our plight. We've been over it all so many times I can't bear to rehash the reasons for this disgrace.

I just think it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be like this. None of us, North and South, Flame or Oiler, deserve this.