COLUMN: Introducing the wife to Free Comic Book Day

Trips to Goodwill and City Thrift have become routine on our weekends. (And sometimes weekdays.)

It was never really my thing. The deal-hunting, the haggling, the bartering. It all just seemed like a lot of work.

But, like a good husband, I soldiered on.

On occasion, we’ll schedule a full-day trip of bargain hunting at thrift stores throughout the area. We’ll roll out of bed early on a Saturday morning and return home late at night, exhausted but with a grab bag full of cheaply bought goodies.

These trips are most especially for my wife. I enjoy spending a day out of the house – traveling to new places and visiting unfamiliar haunts – but I do it all for her.

Or at least I did.

Until Free Comic Book Day.

That day was all for me.

For those who may not know, Free Comic Book Day is a magical holiday when comic book publishers the world over give readers specialty issues absolutely free. On that blessed day of days, the Big Two (DC and Marvel) offer their own prelude issues teasing upcoming events, and smaller companies offer samplers of their works. And, as the day’s name implies, it’s all totally free.

No catch.

To sweeten the deal, many comic book shops offer their own incentives on that day in the form of discounts, gift certificates and more. Some even offer additional books free of charge. It can be pretty awesome.

Free Comic Book Day takes place on the first Saturday of May. This year, that was the day my wife picked for a thrift store shop-a-thon. She had almost half a dozen locations mapped out, with everything planned down to the last detail.

But she made one fatal mistake.

“Is there anywhere you’d like to go?” she asked the night before.

On any other day, that question would’ve been trivial. All thrift stores blur together for me. I don’t have a favorite. So normally I answer with a smile and shake of the head.

But not this time.

Not on Free Comic Book Day.

“Actually,” I answered, eyes wide like a child meeting Santa Claus with his wish list in hand, “I’d like to visit a comic book store. There’s one right next to one of your stores.”

Remember when Charlie entered Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory for the first time? Picture that but with comic books everywhere and a full-grown man instead of a child.

Yea, that was me.

The store we visited didn’t just offer one free comic. They offered five. Per customer.

And to top it off, I had my wife with me.

Now, I’m always proud to have the woman who chose to spend her life with me accompany me anywhere, but it’s just a little bit sweeter at a comic book store.

Ever see that episode of “The Big Bang Theory” where Penny enters a comic book store for the first time? All the comic book aficionados (all of them men) look up as a woman enters their cave, both mesmerized and terrified at the same time.

Believe it or not, that scene is pretty accurate.

As I entered the building, with my beautiful wife at my side, I was an immortal among lesser beings. They watched in awe as I made my way past a guard dressed like an Imperial Officer from Star Wars to claim my free issues. They lowered their heads in humility as I purchased a graphic novel and said, “It’s for her,” pointing at the lovely damsel beside me.

I’m not psychic, but sometimes I can read someone’s thoughts just by the look on their face. And this group’s thoughts were easy.

“Dude … you’re my hero.”

We spent more time at that store than any other. We walked away with more purchases than any other. With my wife’s help, I left the building with 10 free comic books ranging from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Motorcycle Samurai.

We returned home just as exhausted as any other thrift store stopping excursion, but this time we came home with a bag full of fresh comic books.

“Well,” my wife sighed, “that was different.”

I grinned. “It was Free Comic Book Day.”

Matt Schorr can be reached at his website www.MattSchorr.net, by email at mattschorr@hotmail.com or by Twitter @themattschorr.