Tuesday, July 27, 2010

birthday shopping list

the little mermaid was a big deal when i was young, you know. a whole new world. white fluffy clouds vintage. lots of good there. taffeta isn't happening in the desert, though.

need this. i like the subtlety of a sterling "jewel". items of high witchery over at bloodmilk, or, as she says, supernatural jewels for surrealist darlings. yay

ok, no more shopping. i forgot; i'm amish now. i'm going to sew my own clothes (look like shit for a while), churn my own dairy-free butter or whatever, and move off the grid.

actually

i wish i could "intern" with an amish family for a semester or two. i'd learn how to sew for real-for real, how to wear my hair the way a 27 year old spinster should (up), and work myself to exhaustion every day, falling into a black, thousand-pound dreamless sleep each night. going to bed with the dark, waking with the dawn. looking after animals. burning candles that don't smell like baked goods.

i could probably arrange an exchange situation in which some family's 18 year old gets to experience their year in modernity in my apartment while i go and live in their parents' house. i would probably have to get an entire coven of white witches and a xerox box full of sage in this place to clean it out afterwards, kind of like the time my grandmother's tenant (a stripper) moved out of her rental and we had to wash tangerine-colored smearings from the walls... :( my grandma all: "well what could possibly cause that?" and my mother and i, "GO WATCH LAWRENCE WELK PLEASE"