Do you want to be counted as Among the Nobility? Do you want to Protect the Pilgrims, Lord it over the Serfs, lead Squires on Quests, Enforce Royal Edicts, and Heckle Yahoos at our Borders? Do you want to act above and beyond the Sovereign's Law while operating under the Authority of the Department of Kingdom Security?

In other words, do you want to be Ordained into the Holy Order of the Knights of Loafington? While the path to Knighthood is long, difficult, and downright convoluted for many, and absolutely impossible for most, we can make it EASY for YOU!

All you have to do is join our slothful band of campmates. All it takes is a little work and a lot of slack.

Minimum requirements:

Live in the Seattle area.
Have a Burning Man ticket in hand.
Meet with us, party with us, and work with us on preparations prior to departure.
Carpool and share gas expenses with four other people in a minivan: we will leave for Black Rock City Sunday morning, August 24, and return Tuesday evening, September 2.
Help set up the camp, help host part of the time, and help clean up.
Pay camp fee of up to $100 max (still to be calculated)
Be radically expressive, inclusive, and self-reliant.
Be down with the whole Kingdom of Loafington trip.

Some material benefits:
A shower
Well-prepared nightly dinners
A two-storey, day-glo orange castle with an observation deck on top

If this sounds like something you will enjoy, drop me a line, and meet with us at the Seattle Burning Man Newbie Picnic on Sunday, July 8.

2 story ORANGE castle... sounds like the escape and liberation was completely successful.

Huzzah! Welcome home

Never was imprisoned, nothing to escape from. There's been a medieval faire less than 10 miles from my house every year for the last >mumble< years. Never went. Not that there is anything wrong with re-enacting 13th-century gangsterism, there just has always been something else going on to occupy my time. Like taking naps.

Loafington has been a state of mind since time immemorial. Soon it shall be a Sovereign State of Ease. We shall welcome weary Pilgrims, Initiate Space Monkeys, Consecrate Squires, and Ordain Knights. Willful anachronisms will abound.

BTW we got our newbie. A good one too. We glad we found us.

Oh, and Stormfeather: the Grand Vizier, Magus MaggotMeat the Heretic, a White Blue & Red Magician and our Court Adviser, informs me that he intends to attend the Burning Sam parade and cast a Spell of Frivolity over the proceedings. Should be quite a show. Blessings on you for your inspiration and motivation.

I've heard of this "castle storming" several times since we announced our camp. Some people seem to be getting what they may think to be funny ideas about this.

So, for your safety, comfort, and pleasure, please be advised:

The Department of Kingdom Security is staffed by the Holy Order of the Knights of Loafington, who are pledged to protect any and all Weary Pilgrims and, most pertinent to this discussion, to Defend the Borders.

To this end, Castle Loafington has been equipped with the latest in medieval defense technology, including:

A Gatehouse for screening would-be entrants.

A Portcullis to be raised only under the direction of on-site Nobility.

A Drawbridge to be raised in the event of a State of Siege.

Battlements from which assailants will be rained down upon with poxy stuffed animals and used shower water.

Extreme Sarcasm to revile those who venture with evil intent near the Borders of the Realm.

We are well-prepared for whatever hordes of Barbarians or Saracens who are foolish enough to dare to test our defenses.

You have been warned!

But if you ask politely, we'll give you a nice glass of ice water and a place to sit in the shade.

I've heard of this "castle storming" several times since we announced our camp. Some people seem to be getting what they may think to be funny ideas about this.

So, for your safety, comfort, and pleasure, please be advised:

The Department of Kingdom Security is staffed by the Holy Order of the Knights of Loafington, who are pledged to protect any and all Weary Pilgrims and, most pertinent to this discussion, to Defend the Borders.

To this end, Castle Loafington has been equipped with the latest in medieval defense technology, including:

A Gatehouse for screening would-be entrants.

A Portcullis to be raised only under the direction of on-site Nobility.

A Drawbridge to be raised in the event of a State of Siege.

Battlements from which assailants will be rained down upon with poxy stuffed animals and used shower water.

Extreme Sarcasm to revile those who venture with evil intent near the Borders of the Realm.

We are well-prepared for whatever hordes of Barbarians or Saracens who are foolish enough to dare to test our defenses.

You have been warned!

But if you ask politely, we'll give you a nice glass of ice water and a place to sit in the shade.

I've heard of this "castle storming" several times since we announced our camp. Some people seem to be getting what they may think to be funny ideas about this.

So, for your safety, comfort, and pleasure, please be advised:

The Department of Kingdom Security is staffed by the Holy Order of the Knights of Loafington, who are pledged to protect any and all Weary Pilgrims and, most pertinent to this discussion, to Defend the Borders.

To this end, Castle Loafington has been equipped with the latest in medieval defense technology, including:

A Gatehouse for screening would-be entrants.

A Portcullis to be raised only under the direction of on-site Nobility.

A Drawbridge to be raised in the event of a State of Siege.

Battlements from which assailants will be rained down upon with poxy stuffed animals and used shower water.

Extreme Sarcasm to revile those who venture with evil intent near the Borders of the Realm.

We are well-prepared for whatever hordes of Barbarians or Saracens who are foolish enough to dare to test our defenses.

You have been warned!

But if you ask politely, we'll give you a nice glass of ice water and a place to sit in the shade.

You cannot frighten our brave Knights with your heathenish devices. Besides, the Queen keeps more impressive toys than that in her chambers. I know because I have assisted her in their use on many a pleasent evening while the King was away in the Field.

Dusza Beben wrote:Ah, I should have said "lighter than air craft".It is pure witchcraft I assure you.Should the Queen be into, shall we say, large insertionsI am confident that we can come up with something.

We are perfectly amenable to discussing the impending invasionover tea. :wink:

DB

Mr. Beben:

Slackworthy has gone to take his rest. I am Sir Percival Sockpuppet, Special Envoy and Yeahman. The King has authorized me to speak on behalf of the Court.

Her Royal Chillness Queen SafeT Queen III sends her greetings and wishes to negotiate a trade agreement. She is keen to know if any of your insertion devices may be equipped with clockwork mechanisms to enhance their effectiveness.

The Grand Vizier is curious about what manner of sorcery is used to keep your ship aloft. Is it White Magick, or Blue or Red Magick? He will divulge some of his secrets of Indigenous Ethnopharmacology in exchange for this trifle.

El Grand Inquisitor offers his services in helping to expose the Heretics among you, of which he is sure there are plenty. He will bring his own personal set of interrogation aids.

The Crown Prince is eager to establish a back-channel line of communication to discuss contingencies in case a Diplomatic Accord is not reached. He is ready to serve as a useful contact should some calamity befall the King.

His Royal Laziness, King Slugbait the Sloth, Grand Loafmeister and Protector of the Goof, says: â€œBring â€˜em on!â€

Dusza Beben wrote:Ah, I should have said "lighter than air craft".It is pure witchcraft I assure you.Should the Queen be into, shall we say, large insertionsI am confident that we can come up with something.

We are perfectly amenable to discussing the impending invasionover tea.

DB

Mr. Beben:

Slackworthy has gone to take his rest. I am Sir Percival Sockpuppet, Special Envoy and Yeahman. The King has authorized me to speak on behalf of the Court.

Her Royal Chillness Queen SafeT Queen III sends her greetings and wishes to negotiate a trade agreement. She is keen to know if any of your insertion devices may be equipped with clockwork mechanisms to enhance their effectiveness.

The Grand Vizier is curious about what manner of sorcery is used to keep your ship aloft. Is it White Magick, or Blue or Red Magick? He will divulge some of his secrets of Indigenous Ethnopharmacology in exchange for this trifle.

El Grand Inquisitor offers his services in helping to expose the Heretics among you, of which he is sure there are plenty. He will bring his own personal set of interrogation aids.

The Crown Prince is eager to establish a back-channel line of communication to discuss contingencies in case a Diplomatic Accord is not reached. He is ready to serve as a useful contact should some calamity befall the King.

His Royal Laziness, King Slugbait the Sloth, Grand Loafmeister and Protector of the Goof, says: â€œBring â€˜em on!â€

I must see to affiars aboard the Victoriana's Revenge to prepare for our next voyage. I will answer all of your inquiries upon my return. In the meantime and for reasons of obscurity the attached video should explain some of our technology (witchcraft) in detail.

Regards,Commodore Dusza Beben

The Grand Vizier has viewed the lecture with great interest and transcribed the sorcerer's incantations in detail. Yes, we are proud that our Court Adviser can both read AND write! MaggotMeat has since been locked away in his study performing the working to invoke the daemon "Rockwell".

Soon we shall have our own air ship with which to confront those who would threaten us!

Well the event all be said and done and we were only stormed by the Arcosante folks. All the bravado from the Bomb Bay Tea Co. never came to fruition! Bummer! The battle would have been glorious! And since the castle was burned there will never be another time for such an event

But we did get to mount a counter raid on the Arcosante camp so we did have that at least! To all who came by the big orange castle and participated in the schtick I, El Grand Inquisitor Sysyphus de Sade, raise a virtual glass of Orange Slack (Vodka & Tang) in your honor!

It was a blast and I cannot wait until next time. Most probably 2010. 2009 if at all possible, but if so it will be a solo trek and I would need to find a cool camp to hang wit. But 2010 is the more probable time frame.