'Teen Mom' – 'For the Best': Maci, stop trying to make Ryan happen!

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You know things are wack on “Teen Mom” when Maci is the episode’s Mean Girl.

Let’s recap: When last we saw Maci and her baby daddy, Ryan, they had amicably agreed to have separate celebrations for their son’s birthday. Sure, Maci had started a twit-storm with his girlfriend, Dalis, tweeting that it would be much better for Bentley if she and Ryan were still together, but they were past that now.

Or were they?

After consulting sugar daddy Kyle (he didn’t land the role of Landry in “Friday Night Lights,” but he’s an excellent extra on “Teen Mom”), Maci decided to celebrate Bentley’s Birthday Eve at Pump It Up! Then she goaded her son into calling Ryan to invite him — and Dalis — to the party. When Ryan called back the next day (Bentley’d just got his voicemail), Maci handed off the phone to her son and told him to ask again. Completely caught off guard, Ryan told his son, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Afterward he told Maci he couldn’t go — either he had another commitment or the idea of socializing with his baby mama did not Pump Him Up! (Remember that time Maci crashed his family vacation? His parents sure do — they skipped the Pump party too.)

Bentley didn’t seem too bothered that his dad, who picked him up from Pump It Up, missed the party, but Maci made the handoff another cluster-truck. While Dalis fumed in the passenger seat, Maci chastised her ex for replacing her disappointing their son before storming off.

“I’m not talking to you anymore!” Maci shouted. If only she’d heard Dalis’ reply: “Good!”

Ladies and gentlemen: Introducing…Purple Sparkle!

Either Amber got caught in a violet glitter storm or she is deliberately trying to emulate a My Little Pony creature (minus the “friendship is magic” part, of course).

She may sound “like a big ol’ water buffalo” but she looks like a princess. No wonder it breaks Leah‘s heart to say goodbye to her mama.

But once Gary gets full custody of Leah (and “this bitch-ass no-contact order” is gone), this fairy-tale family will finally get their happily-ever-after.

Right?

Speaking of happy endings, Farrah and her mom, Debra, say good riddance to Daniel after he ditched the teen mama (and her drama) Austin.

“That’s a bad sign,” Debra says about his behavior. “That’s an anger management situation there.” (And if anyone knows about anger management situations, it’s the woman who was arrested for choking her daughter!)

And as Farrah points out, with zero self-awareness of her history with baby daddy Derek, “When I’m done with something, I’m done with it.”

Besides, she can’t afford to be distracted by Daniel right now — or, for that matter, her daughter, Sophia, who’s staying with grandma for a month. Now Farrah can devote herself to the toughest class in her rigorous academic program: bartending!

School’s out — this semester at least — for Catelynn and Tyler, and with Butch in jail, they are in desperate need for something to drive their “Teen Mom” storyline. Grandmas to the rescue! Both Tyler’s mom Kim and Catelynn’s mom April express their desire to have a relationship with their granddaughter, Carly. Their adoption counselor, Dawn, gently but firmly tells them no. The end.

But wait, there’s more! Next week is the “Teen Mom” finale — the original fab four’s very last episode. Are you ready to say goodbye?