First time sex
A young girl tels her mother :me and my boy , we had sex for the first time.
The mother : i know it was your first time but how can you know it was his first time
too?
Girk : easy mom , his dick was still wrapped in rubber

A newly maried couple had a talk.
the man said: i want to make one thing clear, on sunday i play with my friends , on monday
i go to the pub,
on tuesday i have a meeting at work and on wednesday i play tennis,on thursday
i am with you and the kids (once we have kids) and on friday i do shopping.
over the weekend i go sailing with my friends.
no problem she replied , yet i have only one thing on my time table:
every day at 22:30 i have sex and it would be nice to have you around...

Once there was a King and he wanted a vigin
as his Queen. So he told his ministers to go and
look for the pure virgin.
Within a few hours all the ladies in the country came to the
Palace. They each had to go into the King's room and take a test.
The first one entered. The King showed her his private
and asked "What is this?",
The lady answered "It is the royal Dick your Highness."
Then the King said "You may go, you are not going to become my Queen."
The second one entered. The King showed her his private
and asked "What is this?"
The second lady answered "It is the royal Dick your Highness."
Then the King said "You may go, you are not going to become my Queen."
So on and so on, ladies went in and out of the King's room.
Finally there was only one lady left and as usual
the King asked the same question.
But the last lady answered "It is a sparrow your Highness!"
The King liked this answer and said "this lady will be my Queen".
Days, weeks, and months passed...No matter what the King
said , the Queen insisted his private is a sparrow,
So finally the King gave up and asked the Qween:
My dear Qween , your are my wife , why don't you call my Dick "Dick"?
The Qween answered:"Your Highness, among all the males
that I had sex with, yours is the smallest one I have ever seen".

A girl asks her mom : mom , why did you divorce dad?
mom : when you grow up you will find out.
One day the girl looks at her mothers ID and comes back
to her : mom , now i know why you divorced dad,
i found it in your ID , you had an "F" in sex.