Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Thank you for your barrage of emails today. I don't think I fully understood how crazy you were until the last of the 18 emails sent in less than a 24 hour period and I appreciate the clarification.

I thank you for informing me that you are seeking therapy and, while I do not need to know this, it does help to think that the first issue your counselor may address is your excessive emailing habits. Your emailing has truly made me aware of the effects of the "crackberry". However, I am not addicted to my email, so I apologize that I do not respond in kind.

Your sincere apology and explanation about the "mean spirited" things you said about one of my faculty members has completely dissuaded me from filing documentation with our institution ombuds and I'm sure the faculty member has completely forgiven you for your ridiculous accusations and ranting, as well as your assault on their email.

I know your apology had nothing to do with your realization that this faculty is the only faculty that teaches one of your core courses required for graduation. I am positive this comes out of the pure kindness of your heart.

I am glad that prayer and fasting has guided you through this very difficult 24 hours. I am positive that the next 13 weeks of the semester will be much less stressful and you shouldn't have any additional "trials".

Friday, September 10, 2010

Dear Student,

Thank you for your phone call today. I understand your concern about the required textbook for your Art 1010 course. Of course, any kind of art that includes naked people is going to be considered pornographic. However, we are a state school and don't have any concerns about having pornography for required reading. We think it is good for you and allows the liberal mindset to take over. If you don't want to participate, you don't have to get a college degree. That is the best way to keep you from being exposed to things you know are bad.

About Me

The first thing you have to know about this blog is that I LOVE my job. I am an academic advisor at an open enrollment college. My letters, while sarcastic and seeming to make fun of my students is really just making fun of the experience of navigating higher education. I love working with students and I love the university where I work. That being said, there are some ridiculous moments. These letters are based on real experiences I have had as an advisor. I hope you enjoy.