It all began with a simple realization.
It was a sad, sad realization — the majority of The Gazette
staff is single. It’s not something we’re proud of, and we
began to wonder, why are we so pathetically single? Like our fellow Western
students, we’re all intelligent, energetic and best of all, we’re
breathtakingly attractive.

So what’s wrong with us?

The problem: we have absolutely no idea how to pick up objects of our
affection.

The answer: Operation Pick Up.

The objective: talk to, dance with, woo, taunt and flirt with as many
people as possible and get them to call you the next day. This is what
we think “picking up” means.

So, on one frighteningly
cold Saturday night in January, a group of staff members (and a couple
of their enthusiastic roommates) braved the sweat and smoke of London’s
nightclubs and bars to bring you their favourite pickup techniques.

Unfortunately, not everyone is born a natural mack daddy or mack mommy.
A few of us even gave up early into the night, but most of us emerged
victorious that night, thanks to hours of thoughtful brainstorming with
our friends, Captain Morgan and Alexander Keith.

We aren’t proud that we used fellow Western students to merely prove
a point, write a story and feed our egos. We aren’t proud that some
of us resolved to “whoring” ourselves on many-a dance floor.
We lied to people; we led people on; we even got free drinks (usually
out of pity, fear or a combination of both). It was dirty “investigative”
journalism at its most attractive, or least attractive, depending on your
perspective and morality.

Please forgive us.

If you were in our shoes, you would understand. We did it all for you.
No, that’s not true, we did it all for the nookie.