Sunday, February 19, 2012

What Valentines Day Means to Me.

So the dust has settled, and I pondered about Valentine's day and who is the intended audience.

I suppose all the single folk love to point fingers and say things like:

1) It is a Hallmark holliday only intended to sell more chocolate and cards.

Being in a relationship for more years than not over the last 10 years, I can say that #1 is definitely true, but then again, it's true almost any holiday of the year. Most holidays are the best avenues for getting rid of surplus sweets into society, so if you are going to rag on V-day, then I hope you do this for every other holiday as well. We can devour lots of chocolate once every few months and not feel bad because everyone else is doing the same thing. Hey I can have a healthy distrust of capitalism can't I?

2) It unfairly favors those who have a squeeze in their life and gives them another free pass to revel in their company.

Again, probably not. Most couples see Valentine's day as an obligation, not a time to celebrate the other person in their lives. Sure it is a great reason to go out and have dinner, buy some pretty and fragrant flowers, or buy some sexy new underwear for that special someone. I would argue that designating one day out of the year to lavish attention on one of the most important people in your life is pretty funky. Why not make them feel loved all the time, as I am sure they want that for you!

3) St. Valentine was a sadistic mofo who wanted to make sure single people felt singled out one day of the year.

Maybe.

Thinking on this point, I came up with a different conclusion. St. Valentine (whoever he was, or how long ago he was) wasn't trying to celebrate people in relationships or give single people heartburn. I guess the purpose of the holiday is to just spread awareness and let people know that love is real, and love is a part of the human experience in one way or another. At least in my opinion it is through extreme emotions, like pain or joy, that we grow and learn about the world around us. Maybe the reminder that love is one of the essential ingredients for life is all that was intended by this annual event?

Personally, this holiday came and went with little fanfare. I reflected on the love that has been in my life, whether that has been romantic, or something more warm like love for family and friends. If anything, Vday inspired me to think about what I want from love in the present and also in the future. The reminder was much needed. I think I started to lose faith in other people, and the reminder of how essential love is brought me back to believing in others a little more. Love that I want from and for myself, and some that may come from a relationship someday.