“There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.” – Janis Ian

24

“Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.” – Gretchen Weiners

23

“Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that’s not good.” – Cady Heron

22

“Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just… don’t do it. Promise? Alright, everybody grab some rubbers.” – Coach Carr

21

“This is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can? It’s urgent. Thank you!” – Regina George

“Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen!” – Regina George

18

“I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense… It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can tell when it’s gonna rain.” – Karen Smith

17

“Somebody wrote in the book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use XXL tampons, but It’s not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!” – Bethany

16

“There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining…” – Karen Smith

15

“Your face smells like peppermint!” – Aaron Samuels

14

“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. But in girl world, Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it. No one had told me about the girl world rule.” – Cady Heron

13

“(On the phone) Oh, this is Suzanne from planned parenthood. Can you get her to call us back? We have her test results. It’s urgent. (Puts phone down) She’s not going anywhere!” – Regina George

12

“And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.” – Homeschooled Boy

11

“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.” – Karen Smith

10

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!” – Mrs. George

9

“Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons… but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!” – Bethany Byrd

8

“I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn’t even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I’m the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn’t hear that.” – Gretchen Weiners

7

“Karen Smith: So if you’re from Africa, why are you white?
Regina George: Oh my god Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white.”

6

“She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.” – Regina George

“Cady: So, are you gonna send any candy canes?
Regina: No. I don’t send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.”

2

“Cady: Hi, I don’t know if anyone told you about me, I’m a new student here, my name is Cady Heron.
Kristen Hadley: Talk to me again and I’ll kick your ass!”

1

“Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: [Rudely] YES.
Gretchen: Regina, you’re wearing sweatpants. It’s Monday.
Regina: So…?
Karen: So that’s against the rules, and you can’t sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can’t sit with us!”