STATE OF THE UNION LABEL

A joint session of Congress (an ardently odious parliament of
liars, swindlers, and trollops) rises upon its hind legs as
President Barak Obama enters the room. He confidently strides
toward the elevated podium. Rahm Emmanuel follows behind,
discreetly accepting pledges of support from everybody and their
constituents who wish to survive the day.

"My fellow Americans, I am profoundly aware of the afflictions
and agonies suffered by every citizen whose meager assets
remaining after untold plies of taxation and mandatory
confiscation have been cruelly diminished by Wall Street
perfidies. My administration awarded more than six trillion
dollars to bankrupt corporate engines of investment with a bare
stern warning about again being exposed.

"No citizen need be concerned about a Hamptons' foreclosure. I
have staffed every sensitive Federal financial position with
insiders who are no longer for sale. Past Treasury Secretary
Henry "Bend and Spread" Paulson, current Treasury Secretary
Timothy "Timmy!" Geithner, and Federal Reserve Chairman Benjamin
"Bullshit" Bernanke remain firmly in Wall Street palms.

"If you are a citizen, if you pay taxes, if you earn your way in
the world by your own efforts, your continued sacrifices will
support America. Yes we can! If you are one of the many who
take rather than give, who are not citizens and live in fear and
repletion, who are totally unproductive or massively
reproductive, who are Officially Sad, you will receive benefits
beyond all measure - for we remain compassionate.

"I have appointed to the Supreme Court a wise Latina who will
give what cannot be earned, award what is not deserved, and
ravage what has been created through personal endeavor and
travail. No unqualified minority child need worry about college
admission or tuition payment. No scion of patriarchal historic
White Protestant European oppressors of Peoples of Colour need
worry about college admission.

"I am here today to discuss the Democratic plan for mandatory
American healthcare insurance payment and reimbursement denial,
the National Ordered Collective Healthcare Endeavor. We maintain
a crystal NOCHE vision of how all will contribute and the
deserving will receive. Those who pay so much will pay much
more. Those who take so much will receive much more. The two
duties will remain dialectically, esoterically pure.

"I have discussed descending NOCHE with many people in isolated
rooms. They are baffled as am I about any possible real time
management of the system. This is the strength of National
Ordered Collective Healthcare Endeavor, for where there is no
coherent structure there can be no contingent failure. Advance
financing is futility. NOCHE will operate in perpetual crisis
mode wherein everything must be ponderously perpetrated without
consideration of origins or destinations. There will be no lack
of funding for there will be neither budget nor oversight. From
each beyond his ability to give, to each according to situational
social advocacy.

"A massive national healthcare database will reside in Redmond,
WA. The most patched WinServer protocols will operate without
backups for maximum security. Any taxpayer in sudden healthcare
need, anywhere at any time, will be handed formidable sheafs of
minutely lettered forms plus National Paperwork Reduction Act
compliance verification documentation. Completed forms
containing every possible bit of information about involved
individuals will be collected, bundled, faxed to Redmond, OCR
scanned, and eventually punctiliously compared to fiducial
database entries. I promise you there will be no HMO excuses for
delayed denial of claims.

"We admit that NOCHE will be initially silent toward data
documentation of genetic, developmental, and behavioral trash;
reproductive warriors, religious hind gut fermenters, drug
addicts, Enviro-whiner Luddites; the stupid, the pathetic, and
the Officially Sad. As documents await verification, excess
system capacity will be showered upon the Offically undocumented.
We maintain full faith and expectation that the system will work
as planned.

"Our incessant irritation of the Muslim Middle East hardly costs
more than $5 billion/month in situ. Were we not committed to
this honorable path Washington could supply everybody's gasoline
gratis. Saving the little children who already get everything
for free, our NOCHE in shining armor will hardly cost more than
30 times that, initially. We have always been at war with the
Middle East. We must seize the opportunity to render that
crushing cost in money and lives utterly insignificant compared
to the cost in money and lives of National Ordered Collective
Healthcare Endeavor.

"Were 60 million Baby Boomers to retire at age 62, slamming their
infinitely plunderable wallets shut as they did so, Social
Security and Medicare would implode by 2015. I pledge to you
that National Ordered Collective Healthcare Endeavor can end that
threat by 2012, with few Boomers remaining.