Baby-Trapped #7: 10 things to pass the time during the night shift

Welcome to Baby-Trapped: Some things to entertain, inspire and pass the time when your baby won’t go the f*ck to sleep…

1) The Good news….

This General Election campaign is almost over!!

2) And the bad news…

We might wake up tomorrow to find out we are stuck with a Conservative Government for another five years.

I have to confess, I don’t know a great deal about politics. It is a pretty feeble excuse but but as a mum of two small children, juggling work and ALL the laundry, I don’t have a lot of time to watch the political debates and even when I do, the dulcet tones of Andrew Marr and Jeremy Paxman are often drowned out by small people shouting at each other about who had what toy first.

So, most of my of my political knowledge comes from BBC breakfast, online newspapers, radio (Yep I am that old) and articles shared on my Facebook Newsfeed.

However, this is not to say I don’t CARE about politics. I care about creating a safer and more secure future for my children.

I am passionate about making this country a great and fair place to live for EVERYONE, whether you are rich, poor, black, white, disabled, mentally ill, male, female, British, non-British, gay or straight.

I would like a Government who cares about the ‘ordinary’ people. A leader who will make education, healthcare, mental health and family welfare a priority. A party who will put our children first because they are the future.

I want a Prime Minister who will run this country with kindness.

Somebody strong, but also kind, clever and fair. A cross between JK Rowling, Russell Brand and Adele, perhaps? Now, Jeremy Corbyn may not be exactly that but he is the closest thing we have to it at the moment so I voted Labour. Anyway, that’s my very mild political rant done…

3) My Sleep Thief Survivor Story…

Four years, two babies, six million sleepless nights and thousands of cups of coffee and I am getting some sleep. Ok, so Mumsomnia can be pretty crappy, bedtime is still a bit of a battle and my youngest Sleep Thief always ends up in my bed BUT- seriously, this is BLISS compared to the old days. So anyway, you can read about what happened when I polished my turd of tiredness over at Metro.

4) This night feed read…

This brilliantly entertaining bookasks the question, “How far would you go to find the ONE?”

In this story, one simple mouth swab and a quick DNA test and you can find your perfect partner – the one you’re genetically made for. And for just £10 you can have their contact details!
This tells the story of five people who meet their match but with shocking consequences.

I loved this book because it made me wonder whether I would take the test? What if i did and the ‘Match’ was not my husband? I still can’t decide? Would you?

5) This thing i am worried about…

I have been really struggling to write funny stuff after all the sad and tragic terror attacks.

It got me thinking about my daughters and being torn between wanting to keep them safe and wanting them to live, full and exciting lives.

Mummy’s Perfect World takes gives us a glimpse into the life of Sally – wannabe top blogger and a perfect mum of two young children, who has a devoted husband and a constant drive to be exceptional in everything she does. She’s basically a bit of a dick. But her blog, in which she covers all the big issues like ‘where is all the hummus?’ and ‘Tinder for Tots’ is comedy gold.

7) This You Tube channel

Kaneing – Russell Kane’s series of hilarious rants about everything from politics to Kanye West’s bum hole is my new favourite procrastination.

7) Wineglasses that fit in your pocket are a thing…

These silicone glasses that slip into your pocket will certainly make getting a bit pissed on park play dates a tempting option…

9) This Netflix show…

We are currently addicted toMaster of None– the Emmy-Award winning Netflix show by comedian Aziz Ansari and his co-writer Alan Yang. Ansari plays Dev, a 30 year-old actor, living in New York City. All the characters are really funny and unique and you will find yourself invested in them all by episode two. I have written this description three times but I can’t seem to sum it up without making it sounds rubbish. Just trust me – it is brilliantly witty, clever and really very sweet.