We all enjoy the odd practical joke now and then, but be mindful of how fucking disgusting you’re being, as you never know when twenty years later, the interviewing HR contact for a new job may be getting boned regularly by an ex-colleague, and he may text back his partner an informal reference on you to this effect:

‘Do not hire this guy under any circumstances. His idea of a joke is shitting in people’s boots.’

‘I once came second in a competition to see who could sell the most products in a week, with the winner being awarded with a holiday.’

Fucking brilliant. What else have you not achieved in life? Winning the lottery? Getting your dick wet by a broad from The Only Way Is Essex? Playing for England in the World Cup? Irrelevant information for a potential employer to look over will only wind them up.