Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Being Excellent: First in a Series

I know, I know...you’re asking yourself, “Hey! How can I, myself, become Excellent?”Well, in this particular case, that’s what I’m here for, and, in advance, you‘re welcome. But first, some bad news: there isn’t a pill, nor is there some arcane incantation or mystical spell known to mankind that provides the unExcellent with Excellence, no...Excellence is to be gleaned from the Excellent themselves, forged like steel over white-hot flames of overabundant self-esteem, cooled on a crystallized bed of indecision for the layman’s (or unExcellentman‘s) digestion, washed down with a jug of fortified solipsism, and then, EVEN THEN, there is no guarantee that you will, in fact, become Excellent.
You should know this, up front, before we get right down to the meat & potatoes of this thing.

You should also know, if everything goes according to plan, that there are, indeed, drawbacks.

Firstly, if you have an inborn need for gratitude, forget it. Nobody compliments the truly Excellent, even if the Excellence achieved is so tremendous that its beauty is beyond words; the unExcellent believe that you’ve already congratulated yourself seven-times-over, which you most certainly have, and their input feels superfluous. Secondly, if you aren’t good at anything, take a hike...and I don’t mean that literally, like stomping around in some forest will bestow upon you some gift of ability; I mean get lost...also not literally. Being good at something, anything, is a fantastic gateway to the inner Excellence in all of us, pounding at your sternum from the inside, pleading for escape from that self-conscious husk you call your body. It doesn’t have to be something sexy like playing sports, or playing guitar, or drinking your weight in bourbon, or successfully holding up a bank - crocheting? Yes. Comic-book collecting? Absolutely...if you’re good at it. I cannot stress that last bit enough.

So, go get good at something, and I’ll see you next time...with more smugness than you could shake four sticks at.Second in a Series