And once your zombie text messages are revived by computer forensics or a court order, your goose is cooked.

The list of recent, high profile victims of zombie texts includes, but is not limited to: Tiger Woods, Sen. John Ensign of Nevada, and former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

The lesson of text messages, like blog comments, emails and message board posts, is that everything can be traced.

Roy’s Rule of Sex Tapes is that they will always find their way to the Internet. Roy’s Rule of Messaging (text or otherwise) is an off-shoot of that, to wit: You shouldn’t write down anything that you don’t want to be used against you legally.

Meanwhile…

It’s official: Perez Hilton = ‘talentless dope’Blogger and drama queen Perez Hilton — the guy who marks up pictures with liquid paper and makes more money than I do because of it — stiffed an LA morning news show this week.

Then he went to Twitter trashing the station because his own staff screwed up.

While you felt pressure to read that, I emptied your wallet. Go ahead and check. It’s still there, but while you’re doing that, a crowd will gather to laugh at you, and while that’s going on, I’ll really do it.

Brooklyn Heights, from what I’ve read, is one of those highly-coveted NYC neighborhoods where people put location ahead of everything else, turning a crappy neighborhood into a status symbol. People who lust after these trendy neighborhoods are almost always unstable and feel a sense of entitlement, so they’re prone to volatile and strange behavior.

Anywho, two of these geo-twits (We used to call them yuppies. I don’t know what they’re called now) got into it at a Starbucks over a fidgety kid, and one ends up slapping the sheet out of the other one. Hilarity ensues. It’s worth a read, and the comments are money.

The Gibbons character is a hero of mine, so yeah, I’m making this personal.

To the weasel editing Wikipedia: The Bobs liked Gibbons. Bill Lumbergh tried to mess with Gibbons and he lost. Gibbons got the girl in the end of the movie, and he didn’t even go to jail for his skimming operation.

You will not win, because Gibbons knows what’s it like to be a gangsta. (This is a rap song, so the language may be NSFW for you, depending on your own office space).

E-mail – for personal feedback/ Twitter – for live hilarity delivered to your phone or desktop/ Forum – if you can’t get your comments published here/ Archives – for fast access to previous entries