Tip the Scale in Favor of the Reality You Actually Want

In the free e-book Deliberate Receiving – How the Law of Attraction and Reality Creation Process Really Work, I explain that your dominant vibration is the one that creates your reality, whether or not you’re aware of it, and independent of whether or not you actually want what you’re receiving. Today, I’d like to delve a little deeper into what exactly is meant by “dominant” vibration and offer a simple metaphor that will help to explain how you can easily clean up your vibration and receive the reality you want.

A little background

Before I offer this metaphor, it’s important that you understand how the creation process actually works. In a nutshell, you are creating all day every day. Every time you see something you want, you send a desire out to the Universe. And your inner being, who you really are, that pure positive energy you (of which your physical self is just a small part) takes notice of it and holds on to it for you. Every time you see something you don’t like, you send up a desire equal to the opposite of what you just saw, and your inner being holds on to that too. And when you send up that desire, what you want is created energetically. So, all day, every day, everything you’ve ever wanted is created and is ready for you to receive. Creation isn’t our work. Receiving the stuff we want is our work (as opposed to receiving what we don’t want).

The energy scale

Imagine that there’s a scale, one of those old timey apothecary ones, with a little plate on each side, suspended by chains. Both plates weigh the same, until you start to place weights on them. Whichever side has more stuff on it, will sink lower, and the heaviest side wins.

One side of this scale is dedicated to the thoughts you have that allow what you want. The other side is dedicated to the thoughts you have that don’t allow what you want. Whichever side has the greatest percentage of thoughts wins, and therefore creates your reality. So, if just 51% of your thoughts on a subject fall on the “allowing what you want” side, your desired manifestation arrives. With me so far? Good.

Let’s look at an example:

Let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds. All day, every day, you’re having thoughts. Some of those thoughts are about your weight, others aren’t, and yet many others aren’t directly about your weight but activate thoughts about your current, unwanted body size.

Thoughts that will DIRECTLY add to the Unwanted side of the Scale:

I hate my body

I wish I could lose weight

I hate my thighs (stomach, arms, cankles, etc.)

I’m never going to lose weight

What if I’m fat forever?

Thoughts that INDIRECTLY add to the Unwanted side of the Scale:

I wish I could fit into those skinny jeans

Why is it so easy for Mary to stay skinny?

I really shouldn’t have had that chocolate cake

I can’t have any of the foods I want, and all the foods I can have taste bland

Fat people are weak

It’s hard to lose weight

(at a social gathering) I don’t fit in here. No one’s going to like me

Guys (or girls) aren’t attracted to me, because I’m fat

I have no self control

These lists are obviously just a tiny representation of all the possibilities, but you get the idea. What do all of these thoughts have in common? THEY FEEL AWFUL. That’s how you know that they’re adding to the unwanted side. Your emotions are your vibrational feedback system and they will let you know which side you’re giving your focus to. So, when you’re not feeling happy, if you’re frustrated, angry or even downright depressed, you’re adding to the wrong side of the scale (literally, in this analogy).

“Positive” thoughts can actually trigger negative beliefs

Now, obviously, thoughts that contradict the ones above will add to the good feeling, wanted manifestation side of the scale right? Maybe.

You see, if your belief is “I hate my body. I’m big, fat pig”, and you force yourself to think “I’m thin and beautiful”, you’re probably not going to get very far. If you don’t believe what you’re thinking, the underlying belief wins. Every time. So, if you’re thinking a thought that you don’t believe, it will actually be triggering that underlying limiting belief and will be adding to the unwanted side of the scale. How can you tell? Well, it won’t feel good. Have you ever thought “positive” thoughts that were actually painful to you? If so, you were triggering a deeper, stronger limiting belief and adding to the wrong side of the scale.

It doesn’t have to be this hard

You don’t have to think good feeling thoughts about weight loss in order to add to the Wanted side of the scale. You just have to:

1.) Stop thinking the bad feeling thoughts and

2.) Think ANY thoughts that truly feel good.

You see, good feeling thoughts vibrate at a higher frequency. And the Universe doesn’t care if that higher frequency corresponds with one subject or another. It’s all just energy. So, if you can reach for better feeling thoughts on another subject and consistently stay there, not only will your vibration as a whole rise, but it will actually become easier and easier for you to think better feeling thoughts about your weight (or whatever subject you’re trying to change). The key is to choose a subject that doesn’t indirectly trigger your underlying beliefs about weight. Again, you’ll know by the way you feel.

Don’t choose a subject based on what you think you should feel good about. Stay away from thoughts about food, body image, clothing, exercise, any social situations that make you feel fat or inadequate, etc. Obviously, you can’t completely stay away from these subjects, but you don’t have to; you just have to tip the scale. What I mean is, don’t try to use these subjects to feel better. Choose a subject that’s completely neutral and that feels good. Perhaps a childhood memory, a trip you took with your family, your fist love, a beautiful painting, a puppy, a song that uplifts you, a book that made you feel great (or a blog? He, he). It can be anything at all, as long as it truly feels good and isn’t inadvertently adding to the wrong side of the scale.

You have two choices

If you’ve been adding to the Unwanted side of the scale on any given subject, you have two choices: If the subject is something minor, something that isn’t causing you too much pain, you can simply begin to think better feeling thoughts about it. As long as you add more positive thoughts about that subject to the scale than negative ones, you will manifest what you want.

If, however, the subject is something big, something convoluted, something that’s been with you a long time and gets triggered not only directly, but indirectly, you can add to the Wanted side of the scale by choosing a different, better feeling subject and getting relief from those better feeling thoughts. When a subject looms really large in our reality, when the evidence of it just keeps slapping us in the face at every turn, it’s often nearly impossible for us to just change our thoughts. But we can, generally, find a completely different, unrelated (so it doesn’t inadvertently trigger the underlying beliefs) subject and feel better by focusing on that.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what topic you use to feel better, as long as you do. Consistently choosing thoughts that vibrate at a higher frequency (and therefore feel better) will add to the wanted side of the scale. And as soon as the balance tips, as soon as you’re adding more energy to the wanted side, your reality will begin to reflect that.

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Comments

Hi Melody,
The scale idea is a great metaphor for consciously creating dominate vibrations. It’s something you can always be aware of in the back of your mind… “which side is getting heavier?” I actually really like this, I just printed out a picture of a scale to keep by my computer as a reminder 🙂

Lately I’ve found that the ‘second choice’ has been the most effective for me: stop thinking about your desires all together, and just choose to feel good even, even if the good feeling thoughts have nothing to do with your desires. It’s counterintuitive but it works!

You make such a great point. It IS counterintuitive. Our inclination (not natural, but learned) is to keep focusing on what’s wrong, and try to beat it into submission. But that only serves to keep us stuck where we are. When we change our focus to something with a higher vibration, we get access to those frequencies that hold the solutions.

I always been a big fan of the thoughts/feelings/action model (what you think determines how you feel and how you feel determines your actions or behavior). My takeaway from your post is that if you aren’t feeling good (emotionally) then that’s an indicator of negative or disempowering thinking. Why think thoughts that don’t feel good? So have awareness of the feelings and don’t fall prey to heavy over-analysis of all the negative thoughts that flitter through your mind. That’s good stuff Melody thanks.
Riley

I think positive self talk is important. Of course, I also think that if it is the case you are a six-hundred pound hippo that you should probably acknowledge that too. The trick, though, is not to get mired in the six-hundred pound hipponess of it all. Take some steps like uh, not eating a small country.

Polarity is just polarity. Bad and good from a thousand feet up are actually interchangeable. More than anything, you just don’t want to get “stuck” in something that isn’t “true” whatever that may be.

Well, if you are a six hundred pound hippo, I’d recommend eating more than a small country, considering they usually weigh well over a ton. ;o)
But yes, we can’t fake it. We can’t lie to ourselves. Focusing on the frequency of what we want isn’t the same as being in denial. Denial is saying “I’m thin”, while all the time thinking “I’m fat.” That’s never going to change anything. But if we stop pushing against where we are (i.e. stop hating the fat) and then begin to incrementally find thoughts that feel better, we can shift our energy and move toward a completely different reality.

I don’t believe in Karma. The idea that there is some energetic debt that we have to pay off, doesn’t jive with my belief system. The problem I have with Karma is that it involves judgment. The Universe doesn’t judge our energy or actions (or anything) to be good or bad. There is only wanted and unwanted. If you focus on something, you get it, whether you actually wanted it or not. But the energy is not stored up, and doesn’t have to be worked off somehow. We have the ability to shift our vibration in each moment, right now. The only “karmic delay” one might experience is due to the time lag, our limited ability (due to lack of practice) of shifting our energy completely. Karma, to me, is still mired in the idea that there is some kind of power or entity outside of us, watching over us, judging us and punishing or rewarding us according to our actions. It’s a philosophy of disempowerment, while the philosophy I live by and teach is all about remembering our own immense power. 🙂

I understand where you are coming from, but at the same time, I don’t really see karma as judgment so much as “imbalance”. For example, if I murder someone, there is a consequence–cause and effect. Let’s say I die and I hold on to the murdering of someone–on some level I feel bad about it. When I come back, I get to deal with what I held on to–it’s not so much that the universe judged it– so much as the universe detected the imbalance of what I held on to. My goal this life is the same as any other life–to not hold on to stuff–it’s just that I get the extra fun of trying to “not hold” the energy of murder that I have a harder time remembering–but I might act weirdly around murder trials or any number of murder related subjects.

I think “god” is in everyone, but I wouldn’t say that any one person is the “sum total of god” and what you do to someone else you do to yourself sooner or later. There’s just oneness. I do, think, though, that overriding someone else’s free will is usually a “bad idea” unless you have no other choice whatsoever.

Aha. But I don’t believe that we can ever override someone else’s free will. You are the center of your own little Universe, and everything that enters into your existence is drawn to you by your vibration. I’m not saying that if someone gets murdered it’s their own “fault”, but there had to be a vibrational resonance to that experience. I understand that this is a controversial point of view and you don’t have to agree with me (I have no attachment to that). I’m just clarifying my perspective. 🙂

Gotcha. Logically that position holds together. I guess the only further input I have is this–Does a shore really want to be hit by a wave? Put a less poetic way, don’t you think “shit” just happens as by-product of chaos? Sure, I think people can draw experiences to themselves, but I don’t think every experience is because they drew it there entirely–some of it is by-product from what “other” people want to draw to themselves.

Assuming I don a selfish position, I will want selfish things. If many people don a selfish position, they will want selfish things. The person who is gonna stand out in that scene is the unselfish person–and it is quite likely that unselfish person is going to be eaten alive in such a situation. Did they draw that to themselves? Sorta, kinda–if your options are to be a murderer or be murdered, though, it isn’t a very good ground to start from.

Nope, I don’t think anything can enter your reality that isn’t a match to you. If I’m an unselfish person and I have a belief that unselfish people get eaten alive in this world, then I will attract nasty selfish people to me (not all selfish people are nasty. Selfish isn’t intrinsically bad). If I change my belief, I will either become invisible to them (they won’t notice me anymore, they’ll go pay attention to someone else), or I’ll actually elicit different behavior from them, depending on how far removed our vibrational set points are from each other.
Also, this gets a lot more fun when you consider that there is more than one reality. Let’s say there is fallout from an action. Well, if that fallout isn’t a match to my vibration, I won’t experience it. It will not be able to enter my reality.

It’s amazing what the positive effect is of choosing the thoughts evoking nice feelings. It is the best choice you can make in your life. Everyone in the world should do this!

However, it is not always easy. There is real conscious effort needed to maintain good feeling and refuse that the inevitable coming less good feeling will go away as they always do. Using affirmations is one of the most effective ways I know to achieve this. They help to (re) focus on the good feelings everyday.

Hi Marc,
Absolutely. It does take effort, especially at first. We have to break the momentum of looking at the negative and turn around. That does take some work. But once we do, it gets easier and easier (the law of attraction is helping us out by bringing us more and more matching energy and thoughts).

Affirmations are fantastic, as long as you believe them. You have to be somewhere in the vibrational vicinity of what you’re affirming, or it’s just annoying. But by making it a daily practice to consciously look at the good in our lives, we can completely change our reality for the better. Truly anything is possible.

Expertly put, Melody. No doubt about it, what we mentally stare at we attract… so we must choose wisely. The ‘Ultimate Insanity of Humanity’ is placing ones attention on what one does NOT want, and then wailing out “why me?!” when it shows up.

I understand exactly what you’re saying in this post. Find the good in your life making sure that you really do believe that it’s good. Keep those thoughts coming forward and push the negative one back.

For instance, in the scenario you told, looking in the mirror and seeing that you look good in blue is fine. Keep it up. Push the negative thought about your hips as far back away from you as you can.

Mirrors can be awful things but if gone to one with the right attitude, they’re not so bad.

One clarification. I wouldn’t say “push the thoughts back”, because that smacks of denial. If the thoughts are still active and you’re just trying to force yourself to think better thoughts, the active thoughts will still be drawing energy. What you want to do is choose different thoughts and let the old ones go. So, instead of thinking “No! Go away fat thoughts!”, you could start looking for things that you genuinely like about yourself and choose to look at those instead. So, if you believe that you look good in blue and that thought genuinely feels good, run with it. And wear lots of blue. 🙂

For a while I couldn’t figure out why I was just barely making any progress with manifesting wealth into my life. After I got my pendulum I also found a pendulum chart online, one of limiting money beliefs. I asked what my negative belief about money was and it swung to “Money is evil.” Because of my religious past I understand now why I was hanging onto this limiting belief; and even though I didn’t actively think these thoughts every day this belief was still suppressed in my subconscious. Any thoughts on how I could get rid of this limiting belief?

Hi Todd,
What a fantastic tool you have there! Here’s what I recommend:
What do you like about money? Think about the characteristics you can appreciate? Sit down and make a list and really ponder it. Can you find evidence in your existence that money is not evil? Evidence of how money has actually done good, and how people are doing good with money? Ponder that for a while (you’ll see more and more evidence of “good” money as you do this). Then look for evidence of positive money in your life, your past.
You may also appreciate the article I wrote about being Spiritual and Rich. It helps to shift the reader’s perspective on the evils of money, particularly if they are spiritual and harbor the belief that you can’t be both. You can find it here:http://www.deliberatereceiving.com/spiritual-and-rich.html

I have a strong feeling that if you apply just a little bit of this work, your energy will shift quickly. You’ll feel it when it does. Do let me know how you get on. 🙂

After reading and using the book You are Not Your Brain, I understand how deeply embedded limiting remarks are into my brain. Relabeling them has been helpful and truly does assist me in moving forward.

I am still hoping that the weight will come off faster than it went on and that I can release this holding pattern. I seem to be at such a stand still with my two big issues – weight and money

This was a good reminder read.
Thank you for your great comments on my post too

Hi Patricia,
You’re really welcome. Weight and money are two perfect examples of huge issues, where it’s best to get off of them for a while and get happy going something else. Maybe go play with your puppy for a while. Once you get access to higher vibrations, the insights will flow very differently than they do now (you’ll get “unstuck”).

We can “think” our way into a negative lifestyle or positive lifestyle, it’s our choice. Sometimes we believe we are are on automatic pilot and have no control over our thoughts. You attract what you give off. When you focus on the positive and feel that good things should come your way, they do. It’s all in your outlook. The scale is a good metaphor and clarifies your point. Thanks.

Thing is, I don’t hate my body, but each time I do look at it I wish I were thinner like I used to be a year back. Its not much, about five kilos or so. Surprisingly, I’ve been piling on kilos. And that makes me fidgety regarding if the loa even works :-/ I’m in my mid twenties, so I don’t see how my metabolism cudve suddenly slowed down either.
Again, I treat my body well and I eat right and even do yoga.
How can this be explained?!

Hello Melody!
As always, a fabulous blog and excellent model. The scale is a perfect way to help us evaluate our thoughts so we can focus more on the positive and happy ones.
My problem is : how can I manifest change/keep positive thoughts of what I DO want when as you mention “my reality is constantly smacking me in the face”?? I’m truly surounded by what I don’t want … how on Earth I manifested THIS phase of my life is truly beyond my imagination … so thinking of what I DO want is a constant. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing any indication of any positive changes taking place, or even hinting that they are on the way!
Here’s a brief outline of what I’m dealing with :
I’ve been living in a TINY town on a remote island in Alaska for the past 15 months, and will be here for almost another year. There is NOTHING here for me to do – not a single movie theater, bowling alley, shopping, restaurant, club, social event – literally all there is here is hunting and fishing. I can’t even find a job here although I’m a highly trained RN. My fiance has agreed to move with me, but without money that will not be possible. I’ve been applying for telecommute jobs like mad, but not getting any offers. I can picture my new town and reality as if seeing a photo, but when I look around here all I see is this awful place and no income. How do I acknowledge my reality, but find a higher vibration that will bring me what I really want?? As far as finding happy feeling thoughts – I do this every single day playing with our dogs. That brings me true joy, but hasn’t changed a bit of my reality or even helped me to generate income.
Sorry for rambling!! I’m working so hard on all of this, and I KNOW eventually it will click … any comments or suggestions will be HUGELY appreciated 🙂 🙂 🙂

You’re pushing against where you are, which will keep you stuck there. Distraction works great (the dogs), but it’s not enough. Your awareness of how much you don’t like where you are right now is bigger. So, you have to find things about where you are right now to appreciate, and I mean genuinely appreciate. There must be details about your life RIGHT NOW that you can really feel good about. It doesn’t matter if the stuff you don’t like outnumbers what you do like 100 to 1. Find that one thing and focus on it until you feel better. Then, you’ll notice other stuff you can genuinely feel good abut and focus on that, too. You can’t just feel good about what you’re creating and feel horrible about where you are. The Universe will bring you stuff that matches how you feel NOW. All the other work you’re doing will support you in this endeavor, but there’s no getting around it. You’ll have to find a way to appreciate your tiny town. That’s what’s keeping you stuck my dear. Now go get em. 🙂

Huge hugs!
Melody

Patty

November 18, 2012

Ugh Melody ~ Appreciating this place takes enormous effort, but I AM getting there; I’ve found myself able to focus on the fact that there are some really great people here, and that does help. Of course, my fiance being so understanding and supportive is something I am also extremely grateful for. Is this going to help me land a job though? Without income, it’s majorly difficult for me to figure out how to be appreciative of what I have – since I don’t have the income … does that make sense? Of course, income or money coming to me in some way is an absolute for us being able to move in 8 months. Somehow, I am POSITIVE that this will happen although I don’t have a clue as to how since Mark doesn’t make enough for us to be able to save the funds we’ll need to buy a new place. It truly is all on me if I want this to happen, but I keep trying to maintain the high vibration of just KNOWING something will work out.
I think I better ask Santa to get me a session with you so you can help me figure out if something is blocking me getting one of these jobs I’m applying for and keeping my eBay business from taking off. I’ve been a good girl, so hopefully he’ll pay up so you and I can chat 🙂
One VERY positive thing — I spend HOURS on this site reading everything I can, because you truly inspire me to see things differently, and your humor makes me literally LOL
You’re quite honestly the bees knees, Melody Fletcher!

But, if you read your own comment back, you’ll see how you go up, then down, then up a bit, then down, down, down. You’re like “I do appreciate the people (up), but I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW WE WILL EVER SPECIFICALLY GET OUT OF THIS PLACE (um, down, in case you missed it.)”

Focusing on what you can feel good about right now WILL ABSOLUTELY line you up with the jobs you want and get the money flowing. Focusing on anything to do with money will pinch it off (because that subject feels all angsty to you right now). It really, really works but you have to stop being a control freak and trying to force reality to defy your vibration by focusing on stuff that doesn’t feel good and asking it to change. Give yourself 30 days, and in that time stop focusing on jobs, on ebay, on anything that doesn’t feel good and just appreciate like a mad woman. Trust me on this, if you pull that off, your world will not be the same at the end of that 30 days. And it’s the holiday season! Loads to appreciate!

I know it can be hard to change gears like that, but this is the work, my love. We’re so willing to kill ourselves physically and with stress, but when it comes to changing our thoughts, we think it’s too hard. Say what??

There, I think I’ve made my point. 🙂

Huge hugs to you! And you can do this. You’re in the moment of big transition now. It’s not easy, but you’re up to it. I know you are, even if you sometimes don’t.

Melody

Patty

November 19, 2012

Thank you, Melody!
So in these next 30 days, while I’m working like a mad woman on my appreciation journal – really getting into the feeling of it – can I also still continue my visualization of the future I will have? As I said, it’s a breeze for me to see the new location, and even a bank account that would choke a horse (yep, that’s what I will have! :)) without feeling anything negative. The only time it feels bad for me is when I try to manipulate the HOW of it all. That’s where my stress comes in; trying so hard to figure it out and getting frustrated when I can’t fathom how it will work. You’re so right – this ain’t easy LOL, but I trust you that it’s worth the effort!

The litmus test is: Does it feel good. So, if it feels really good to visualize your future, do it. If not, leave it. 🙂

Oh, and it’s SO freaking worth it!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Patty

November 22, 2012

Oh boy, you have no idea how good it feels to visualize my future!! I actually get giddy with it LOL But is there such thing as too much of a good thing? Obviously, I interact in my real world so no one knows that in my mind I’m thousands of miles away (whoo hoo!!) 🙂 I just don’t want to do ANYTHING that will prevent or even prolong the move!!

There is no such thing as too much of a good thing Patty. Don’t you worry. If it feels like that, go for it as much as you can. 🙂

Huge hugs!
Melody

Anurag

December 15, 2012

Melody,

Love the metaphor you used! But I had a small question regarding this. If a thought comes to our mind, and let’s say that it’s tipping the scales against what we want i.e., it is a negative thought, but if we don’t feel negative about the thought and just let it pass, will it add to the ‘what we do not want’ side of the scale? Isn’t it the FEELING that manifests our desires? If we don’t feel anything, is it possible that it might be a neutral thought? (Even though here, the thought is the opposite of what we want, ironically). I mean what if the thought isn’t “magnetized with emotion” (From Think and Grow rich ahahaha)? Will it still add to the opposite side of the scale?

Think about this: what makes the thought negative or positive? It’s all in how it feels. So, if you notice a thought that could be negative, but you just let it go, it adds nothing to the scale. If you react to it, hold on to it and keep thinking it in a way that feels bad, you are adding to the “unwanted” side of the scale.

I hope that helps. 🙂

Huge hugs,
Melody

Anurag

December 29, 2012

That sure helps, thank you very much. Now I know that I’ve been on the right track! Wohoooo! Yeah, bring it on! 😀