Watching someone walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right person comes along.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Finding A Love?

Claudia Gandhi once said:

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden."

Finding someone to be in a relationship is actually quite easy. Finding someone to be in a relationship that actually fulfills you, however, is a different story. So how do you find a relationship that truly fulfills your needs and desires?

Setting your priorities straight and having realistic expectations will help guide you into the right direction in finding the relationship you have always wanted. Before you can do that though, you need to make sure that you feel fulfilled on your own first.

So many people end up in relationships that do not fulfill them because they are entering the relationship with the wrong expectations and for the wrong reasons. A big example of this is someone entering a relationship as a way to feel complete. Many people feel unsatisfied with themselves and their lives, and believe that someone else will be able to fill in that gap for them.

Placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else is unrealistic and will only result in disappointments in the relationship. You also need to acknowledge and accept the fact that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship and that there will be issues that will require teamwork and compromise.

Most people have the idea that if a relationship is truly happy and meant to be, then there never will be any problems and should not require so much work- it should just be happy. Well, if this is how you view relationships, then it is time to change your way of thinking before you set yourself up for more painful reality checks.

If you are interested in finding a person to build a strong romantic relationship with, the best thing to do would be to start by focusing on yourself first- and make sure that you are have your life sorted out, before deciding to share it with someone else.

Majority of people would read this say of course, it's common sense and while this may true, people still enter relationship with unrealistic expectation, wrong reasons or before making sure they are fulfilled on their own first.

So if you feel you are ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, do your self a favor and take it one step at a time. Review the relationship you have with yourself first and make sure that you are truly happy with you are and where you stand currently in your life.

Ask yourself why you feel the need to be in a relationship, what you are prepared to invest into it, as well as what you are expecting from your partner. Sorting this out will help you understand your relationship goals and will help you understand what it is you need to look for in a person when trying to find a romantic partner to share your life with.

Attraction is naturally going to be important to you, and it should be- for no relationship can really start or survive unless both partners are genuinely attracted to each other.

Attraction, however, is not enough and before you decide to jump into a relationship with a person you are strongly attracted to, you are going to make sure that he or she also has the other important qualities that you are looking for in a partner.

This is why you need to take it slowly and not rush into anything, just because you feel strongly attracted to someone.

There are many cases where people jump into a relationship based mainly on attraction, with an assumption (or hope) that the person will end up having all the qualities.

When time passes and the person realizes that their partner is not who they thought or hoped they were, they are already deeply involved and often look at their partners as who they wished they were, rather than who they really are- and end up stuck in an unfulfilling relationship.

So the key to finding a fulfilling relationship is to never lose direction and to always remind yourself of what your real needs are, so that you do not end up in a relationship that does not meet your standards. There is a difference between compromises certain differences, and settling for a less-than-satisfying relationship.

You also need to decide exactly what you are prepared to offer another person, so that you do not end up an overwhelming relationship that you were not ready for. Once you understand your real needs and the qualities you are seeking and understand your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship, you will know exactly what to look for and will not get trapped dating anyone who does not fulfill you.

And perhaps, a groovy kind of love is just around the corner in our life.

P/S

To you whom I haven't met yet, I believe that the feelings of love in each and every human is different in many ways. But one thing that I am really sure about the feelings is the fact that it is part of our life, it make us feels lucky, to have someone that love you and to love someone else in return.

Will you be there for me one day my mysterious love? I am still looking for you.

I promise if I ever meet you in future, I will treat you like the other half of my sky, just like what Mao Zedong preached to billions of Chinese, just like how John Lennon loves his wife, Yoko Ono so much, and just like how Forrest Gump loves Jenny Curran.

Everyday of my life, I'd always pray to the Almighty God that He will sent me a good girl one day, less complicated than my previous girl. I just want a normal girl, not so rich, not so materialistic because in this life, we just live on borrowed time from God. It is not about money that matters, it is about the love that we shared and that's the love that I hope I can found in you.

I end this letter today with a heavy heart because there is so much things that I would like to share with you about my life and my point of view. Look at the star in night sky my special someone, because at the moment you look at it, you can be assured that I am looking at the same direction. Until now, take care and have a bless life. May God sent you to me as fast as possible.

6 comments:

Excellent reading, very clear and to the point. Finding the one, it should be a special time in your life. Like you referred, we ourselves have to be ready for this next step. Being sure of who we are and what we want are very important. Life's experience will definitely show you and we need to learn from prior experience or better yet previous mistakes. Keep up the good work, this is definitely a winner. Most of all have faith in God and let him direct your path.

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