Saturday, December 25, 2010

I'm very sorry to say that Christmas was a big success for Betsy. I do hope that no one asked Santa for any gifts that they urgently needed, because those wishes are doomed to go unfilled. All edible goodies have been munched down, and any valuables such as jewelry or electronics are going to the local pawn shop come Monday to raise more money for snacks. And if you requested a sweater, Betsy's likely already sold it to a sheep somewhere in anticipation of their upcoming wool loss due to the polar bears. The best thing that I can suggest for all of you, is to just try to forget this holiday ever happened. That's what I'm going to be doing, or at least I will if Betsy ever does something with the reindeer currently loitering in the backyard.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Betsy finally did it. She joined one of the criminal games on Facebook under the human's account. She has been playing for under an hour now, and is already up to level five! I'm sure that's the worst possible sign. The humans are going out to eat in a bit, too, and the computer will be unguarded. That means Betsy can play without supervision, and get alarming amounts of criminal ideas, likely until Santa comes!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Poor Santa. In less than twenty-four hours, he is doomed. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what should be done with the reindeer, once Santa falls into Betsy's clutches? The prancing and pawing upon the roof will surely disturb my rest if they're allowed to stay unsupervised. Betsy has hung the chimney with traps, sure to snag Santa, so she can get her paws on his sack, and on all of the goodies therein. I do hope that no one spent too much time composing him a letter with wishes, for thanks to that bear, you will not be getting a thing. And for goodness sakes, don't leave any cookies unattended tomorrow night! It will attract her to your home for sure!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I must get an attorney right away is all that I can say, for I am sure that I have an excellent case against the bus company and the newspaper for endangering us all. I'm sure you will be as horrified as I was to learn that a new bus route has opened, offering round trips to Washington for twenty dollars. As you might know from some of my posts this spring, Washington is the home of the National Archives, a place just packed with alarming amounts of genealogical materials. The human has been doing a money count, ever since she saw the article on this bus route, and she is sure that she has the twenty dollars to cover her fare to gather alarming amounts of research materials! And even worse, this bus offers internet access for the entire trip! She will be able to research the tree, and find even more things that she needs before she even gets there! We are all doomed! Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!

Monday, December 20, 2010

One of the human's relations dropped in today, supposedly to collect Christmas presents. Unfortunately, the human in question happens to know a bit about the family tree, and my human started to question her. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. And this human is supposed to return in a few days, too, which will only give my human more time to think up more genealogy questions. Does anyone know the best way to sabotage a doorbell?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I've noticed, when I've checked what the human's doing on Facebook, that a lot of different animals have ads popping up, requesting adoption for the holidays, including an entire herd of polar bears. How worried do you suppose I should be about the human constantly seeing such advertisements while tending her little farms and zoos? I don't want to imagine what could happen if another polar bear moved in here!

Friday, December 17, 2010

I think that I need to report the weatherman to someone, I really do. Once more, he is calling for snow, and naturally the polar bears are in an uproar. The World Wildlife Foundation is likely who this horrible polar bear cruelty should be reported too, right? Or would the local sheep association be better? Thanks to the horrible weatherman, record numbers of sheep are going to lose their wool soon. I can only hope that those poor sheep got their requests for sweaters in to Santa in time.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It's just a few more days until Santa will be trotting around, although why he still tries making deliveries in this neighborhood with Betsy on the loose, I will never know. I can only hope that no one in the immediate area is hanging stockings with care, because they are sure to go unfilled. Betsy is currently checking out the chimney, and plotting to install some sort of trap.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The weatherman continues to cause problems. Now he's calling for ice tomorrow evening, and I don't think he means the ice that goes in the human's soft drinks either. Honestly, ice is just snow that needs a bit of fluffing, so of course the polar bears are upset once more. I will probably be forced to go without sleep tonight due to the sound of them running about, gathering blankets and other things they have labeled necessary warmth supplies. I swear, if the weatherman keeps this up, I will tell the rabbits that he is donating the hill on which his little weather studio is located, for additional gardening space come summer. Being trapped by squash and watermelon for a few months will serve him right!

Monday, December 13, 2010

When I get my paws on the weatherman, he is going to be so sorry for all of the trouble he has caused. We now have several inches of snow on the ground, and needless to say, I have frantic polar bears, demanding blankets, quilts, heaters and mittens to insure their warmth. And the weatherman is lurking, up in his little studio a block away, watching all of this with great glee. I'm sure I saw flashes of light from his binoculars a bit ago. Really, wasn't it bad enough when he observed the rabbits this summer to forecast rain? He ought to be fired! Not to mention tarred, feathered, and ran out of town on a rail. If the polar bears see another flake of snow, I shudder to imagine what will happen. This is all the weatherman's fault!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I'm back. Sorry for the delay in posting, but I've been dealing with major polar bear issues here. We've had the dreaded s-word, snow, lately, and it's got them in a tizzy. They're holed up in the human's room, in their little den, and whenever someone dares to twitch the doorknob, they start shouting about not letting any heat out. And, unfortunately, the human's room is the current location of the computer. So annoying. It took until know for me to sneak in so I could post this. Unfortunately, more snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. Goodness knows what I will have on my paws should that horrible prediction come true!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Seeing as a bunch of sheep are due to become nudists soon, I suppose this is as good a time as any to bring up this topic. Has anyone ever taken a really close look at sheep without their wool? Really, that look worse naked than I ever imagined possible. And, as I understand it, the humans in charge of them, periodically collect this wool too, if they can get it before the polar bears do, to use for human purposes. I can only hope that they provide sweaters and coats for the sheep after this sheering, if for no other reason than to spare other creatures the horror that is the naked sheep!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Does anyone know how to arrange for an arrest warrant to be sworn out against our local weatherman? I want charges brought against him right away, and I want something done about that horrible fellow Jack Frost too. It snowed here today, and the polar bears have been running around, panicking and demanding emergency quilt construction take place immediately. I feel for any sheep who happen to live in this area. They are sure to be naked soon. My only suggestion to them is to get their letters in to Santa right away, and hope he will drop off sweaters early, for their wool is going to be gone soon.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I ought to tell our neighbors, when nuts from that tree rain down on their house, and break all of their windows, that they should hold the local courts totally to blame. The human trotted up there, and of course the first thing she asked was the best place to look for records on the misdeeds of her relations. And the had the nerve to TELL her so she could trot right over and round everything up. She came home with a nice stack of papers, and now has plans to hunt down more records as soon as possible, either by visiting a courthouse in another location, or by ordering microfilm! Is there no end in sight to encouragement of that awful tree's growth?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The human's going to be dropping into a courthouse tomorrow, I am afraid. She's supposed to be there for other reasons, but I just know that she's going to use the visit for genealogical purposes as well, to hopefully find out about some more misdeeds of her ancestors! Do you think if I called the courthouse and warned them bright and early, they could ban her?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The polar bears' takeover of the desk, and their hogging of the heater continues unabated. The second it feels the least bit nippy, they flip the heater on, and lock the door so that trespassers can't sneak in an soak up some of their warmth. For purposes of heater usage, I have been declared a trespasser. Those bears ought to be ashamed, and the human ought to be ashamed for catering to them. And even worse, the desk and the polar bears' new den is right next to a large supply of fabric, just perfect for quilt purposes. I don't want to think of the disaster that might result from that!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Now the polar bears are getting in on the act. They have established a little, quilted den in the gap between the desk chair area and the rear of the desk, that used to be my perfect hiding spot. And they've convinced the human, too, to move one of the little portable heaters into her room, and it's pointed right at their new den, so it's all comfy in there. Really, the nerve of those bears, and here I am, with only one heater for the rest of the house, while they hog an entire one just for a tiny little den! And they have their door shut so I can't sneak in, too!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Horrible news. The human has just learned that one of her cousins is having an estate sale over the weekend, and now she is dying to go, sure that she will be able to find family info and even worse, to connect with other relatives on this limb of that awful tree. What can I do to prevent this? somehow, I don't think I can manage eating the car keys!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Moving that desk into the human's room, and giving the bunnies another place to lounge was definitely a bed idea. They've put the idea into her head now that she should help them with their gardening plans, so she actually approached our poor neighbor today, while she was shoveling rock for a driveway, and mentioned needing shoveling assistance for a garden at some point. This poor human! She thinks the garden belongs to my human, so of course she agreed! We are doomed! the entire neighborhood is doomed! Our neighbor is energetic to say the least, and I'm sure would be able to do a ton of digging. The rabbits will probably be able to triple their garden plans if she assists! How can I warn her that helping with this is helping with the loss of her home come spring?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I hope those rotten rabbits are pleased with themselves. Since they amused themselves snatching that desk away, and having it moved into the human's room, I have had no place to hide. I'm so easy to spot it isn't funny. Really, they ought to be ashamed. Thanks to the loss of my best hiding place, I've been forced to stake out territory on a box of magazines, but they really don't work well for hiding purposes. I ought to hide those bunnies' carrots, just to teach them a lesson!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The human got a desk lagged into her room today, and she's already plotting how it will make writing easier. Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled, and now one is lounging on top of the desk to make offering suggestions for the nightmarish rabbit stories easier. And what about me? That desk was one of my favorite hiding spots when it was in the other room! If I ducked down behind it, the humans could never catch me! Now I'll be easily spotted every time they want me for something for sure!

Monday, November 8, 2010

I have somehow developed a case of fleas, something that I totally blame Nick the Cat, the villain of the rabbits' tails of terror for. There's been another cat hanging around here lately that looks suspiciously like him. The feline is undoubtedly a relative, and undoubtedly here to cause trouble. I ended up getting lagged to the vet to deal with the fleas, I'm afraid, and my good claws were ruined once more. Really, when will those people learn? You would think after all of these years they would have worked out that growling and fighting means to leave the claws alone, no matter what the humans say. It will take forever to get them back into shape, and that's if I don't damage them further, placing a call to an attorney to seek a restraining order against Nick and his relations!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Does anyone have any suggestions for the best hiding place for a phone? The human checked with a library out in Kansas over the weekend, when she was pursuing information on that horrible tree, and they told her the person she needed to speak with would be in on Monday. I'm sure if she chats with this person, it will add even more branches onto that tree, as she's going to be asking for information on female cousins' married names. My only hope is that I can find a place to hide the phone and prevent this!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Horrible news. The human's Uncle Henry was convicted of grand larceny, and sent to the state pen for three years. You should have seen how happy she was to find this news. She was practically bouncing when she came home, and waving the papers around, that provided the information on his conviction. Now she's making plans to write the state archives right away to get any records they have on his jail time. And since she's going to be writing them, I just know she'll go ahead and ask for other records too. That tree is bound to grow by leaps and bounds soon. Really, would it have killed Uncle Henry to have stayed on the straight and narrow?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The human's birthday is tomorrow, and to celebrate she has a horrible event, a trip to a genealogy conference planned, along with a trip to the court house to look up various records on her relatives. She's in her room now, looking at print-outs, and highlighting things in yellow that she needs to hunt down. I have never seen so much yellow marking in my life. And she's hopeful that if the court house visit goes well, that she'll get to visit the jail too, to hopefully find more records of her various relations' misdoings. I sense a lot more nuts on that tree soon.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The human didn't get a lot of writing done today, due to a death early this morning keeping her up unexpectedly. She does have a story all picked out, though, and feels she can fly through a chapter or two tomorrow. Needless to say, the rabbits were thrilled with this news. I don't want to imagine the encouragement and horrible ideas that will result!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I'm very sorry to announce that Betsy has declared this Halloween a complete success, which means that many children will be trotting to their school guidance counselors on Monday, in search of help to recover from the trauma of their robberies. Those poor, poor children. And apparently they all visited the churches' candy fests too, before trotting over here, so their sacks, pillowcases and plastic pumpkins were quite full when they arrived. Needless to say, Betsy soon relieved them of all of that. If any parents are reading this, you can drop by tomorrow to pick up the remains. Pillowcases will be hanging from the fence by the egg gourds. Please see the rabbits if you're looking for a plastic pumpkin.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The human has 65 bags packed full of child bait, ready to be passed out to those poor, misfortunate trick or treaters. Those poor, poor children. The human made sure to pack the bags nice and full, too, with loads of things that are sure to lure lots of children to the door, once they hear what the human is passing out from all of their little friends. And Betsy will be waiting, ready to rob them as soon as they trot away. I think I will have to go into hiding tomorrow, least I get tangled up in the ensuing police investigation.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Well, the horror season started today, and if anyone comes checking, I do hope my loyal blog readers will let the authorities know that I was on here, warning people, and can't possibly be blamed for the horrors that struck this evening. Betsy came trotting in with a giant sack, packed full of goodies, a bit ago and I have a bad feeling that this sack is only the beginning of snitching nightmares to come. Those poor, poor children. They will need therapy for years to recover from the trauma of this weekend.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I did some checking, and would you believe that some churches are actually offering up candy starting tomorrow? Really, I thought churches were supposed to be nice, good places, but various ones are spending this weekend putting out child bait so that Betsy can have a crime spree. Those poor, poor children. They will never want to set foot in a religious institution again after this. Betsy already has over a hundred snitching sacks in her paws, in anticipation, and she knows where she can obtain more if necessary.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

There are just a few more days until the town is hit full force with horror. I can only hope that everyone has taken precautions, and have stocked up supplies so they can hide in their homes until the worst is over. Not only are we facing Betsy's planned crime spree and mass candy theft, but noveling horror month is about to start. And just when I was starting to recover from last year's horrors too. The rabbits already have paper and pencils out, and are hard at work on ideas to give the human for this year's novel horror. I am afraid to find out what those bunnies might think up this time. It will surely put tons of bad ideas into their little rabbit heads, whatever it is.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I might be in a bit of trouble with the humans. For fun, I decided to play a game of hide and seek while they were out, only it slipped my mind to leave something to inform them of this. Really, I had the best hiding place ever, but the humans didn't seem pleased with my cleverness after they were forced to tear the house apart trying to find me. The human was very upset, and now there is much talk about sticking me on a leash, or assigning a rabbit to watch me at all times! Really, it was just an innocent game! What's so wrong with that?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Does anyone know who I should call to complain about a library? Not only did that foolish place provide the human with her Cousin Kerr's obituary, but to make matters worse, it allowed a bunny to hop out with a book on growing more vegetables in less space than you thought possible! I'm sure you can imagine how pleased all of my rabbit siblings were when they saw this book, and now they are all hogging valuable space on the table that should be mine, taking turns reading it, checking out the pictures, and drawing garden diagrams. Our poor neighbors. And just when they thought they might be safe from the garden too. The library should be ashamed. What did our neighbors ever do to them?

Friday, October 22, 2010

I'm back, and just in time, thank goodness, seeing as the bunny made a mess out of the one simple post I asked her to hop to the library and make. Really, these rabbits are so unreliable. The human now has a shiny new computer, although she's still upset about the old one, and the trouble she now faces in getting her data off of it. She's still ranting about that, and possibly about a visit to small claims court to force the people who sold her the last defective drive to pay for this. I can only hope she calms down sometime soon, so I can have some peace, to fix the muddle that bunny made of my poor blog.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Hello, Bebe Bunny here with an update on our brother and why he hasn't been blogging lately. He's fine, never fear, and probably lazier than ever, but the human's computer crashed a week ago today, and he is currently internetless. He thought the human was obtaining a new computer but time seems to be dragging on without a new machine being forthcoming, so he sent me hopping down to the library to post an update. He would have came himself, but the library's a bit too close to the genealogy archives for his comfort. Hopefully the human will get a computer soon, so he can get back on.

Hello, Bebe Bunny here with an update on our brother and why he hasn't been blogging lately. He's fine, never fear, and probably lazier than ever, but the human's computer crashed a week ago today, and he is currently internetless. He thought the human was obtaining a new computer but time seems to be dragging on without a new machine being forthcoming, so he sent me hopping down to the library to post an update. He would have came himself, but the library's a bit too close to the genealogy archives for his comfort. Hopefully the human will get a computer soon, so he can get back on.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I heard alarming mentions of a visit to the country being scheduled for this weekend today. I do hope that this post will give all of the poor misfortunates who live in the country time to flee. The rabbits are already packing their veggie gathering sacks, the polar bears are demanding I get off the computer to give them time to search out the addresses of the closest flocks of sheep on Mapquest, and you do not want to know what Betsy Bear is doing. I can only hope that everyone in the country has doubled their insurance for they are doomed.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I can't believe the humans. They have purchased at least seven bags of candy to hand out to children for Halloween! You should have seen the happy dance Betsy did when they brought it in. With that much candy, she is sure that a bunch of children will be lured to the door, and thus will fall into her paws for robbery purposes. Seven bags. Oh, I shudder to think of the number of children that much candy will bring in, and then Betsy will get them! The humans should be ashamed!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I couldn't choke down the bus schedule. Really, they make those things totally unpalatable. They ought to be ashamed. So, the human trotted off to the archive right after lunch, and has a ton of obituaries on order, that I'm sure will lead to nightmarish amounts of growth, of that giant tree of hers. She's making noises about going back up there tomorrow, too. Maybe I ought to find a hiding place while I still can. I'm sure that tree is a threat to public safety!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

The human went to the library today, and came back with a bus schedule. I fear this means she is planning an archive visit, possibly tomorrow. Do I have any moral obligation to try to prevent this by eating the bus schedule while she's sleeping? It looks extremely unappetizing, but I suppose I could choke it down if I have to.

Friday, October 8, 2010

If any sheep are reading this, and I do hope you are, you should know right now that your wool is doomed. Perhaps you ought to go ahead and sheer yourselves now, to save yourselves some trouble later. Another polar bear moved in here today, and naturally she didn't waste any time putting her fluffy head together with the other polar bears to plot quilt construction and how wool might be obtained for batting in these quilts. I now have four full sized polar bear sisters and three cub nephews, so I'm sure you can see that there is no way your wool will be spared. And that's assuming that they don't draft some other members of my 659 siblings to assist them in wool gathering. I would place an order for sweaters now. Perhaps you can get some sort of group rate.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The human heard from a cousin today, and now she is bouncing around, celebrating a potential genealogical success. I have a very bad feeling that confirming this might mean a trip to the country, though, and possibly to the location where that bakery that Betsy attacked the first time the human met with this cousin is situated. Those poor bakery employees. I do hope their insurance covers them for two Betsy induced traumas in less than two months.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I trust that everyone is starting their preparations right now for this year's upcoming horror season, that will hit full force in a few weeks, when children go trotting around, carrying sacks, and collecting goodies. Really, those children's parents should be charged with negligence for allowing such activities. All it does is to expose their children to crime with all of that candy in one place, attracting Betsy Bear. She's already got every snitching sack in the house out, in anticipation, and she's planning to place an order for a few more sacks soon. Those poor, poor children. Really, do they need to learn about crime so early? They will be scared for life!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was trying to recover from the trauma of those church sales, but a rest didn't help much. The human finished unpacking the bags she got, and more horrors were discovered. It turns out that in addition to all of the rabbit encouragement, she also purchased a large sack of fabric, just perfect for quilts! I think you can imagine how pleased the polar bears were to see that. They're currently going through it, to see what pieces go best with their fur, and making plans to get their paws on wool for batting. All sheep in the area should probably put an order in now for sweaters, for their wool is doomed!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

After the trouble they have caused, I can only pray that Betsy helped herself to every goodie that those pesky churches were trying to peddle today. You won't believe what they did! First of all, one of the churches had a rabbit lurking about, and as soon as the human came trotting over, of course this bunny hopped up and tackled her, begging to be allowed to move in. And to make matters worse, the adoption fee for the bunny was so reasonable, that the human was able to adopt a bear as well. I now have 657 siblings. Then, to make the horrors of the day more nightmarish, another church was selling SEED! Naturally the rabbits were thrilled to spot the giant seed display, and came hopping home with 33 packs, including an alarming number of packs saying something about giant pumpkins. Our poor, poor neighbors are doomed!

Friday, October 1, 2010

I just realized something yesterday. The humans have a whole attic that they really aren't using, except to store the Christmas decorations, and the flowers that they lag to the cemeteries every year while Betsy runs wild and torments the mountain bears. If I could install a hole up there, I could rent out the space to any number of birds in need of winter lodging. I'm sure that there are tons of them who are tired of that long commute south, after all, and who would love to nest in a nice attic for the winter. Does anyone have suggestions for how to advertise? I'm going to tell my woodpecker tenant to invite all of his friends.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I am going to sue the newspaper too, for endangering us all. That is the only thing to do. Despite the encouragement it offers to that giant tree, every time the do this, they insist on continuing to print obituaries, and just a few minutes ago, the human was pleased as anything to find an obituary for Cousin Betty Jean. It's going to add another page to that family book of hers for sure, and I can see the tree growing right in front of me. I wonder if I could recruit my woodpecker tenant to help me out, and to hop into the upper limbs to do a bit of pruning?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I do hope that everyone who lives up in the country by the lake the humans are fond of has had time to double their property insurance and hide their food. The human has heard of a festival up that way, that she is now dying to attend, and of course if she goes, Betsy Bear will be accompanying her. I understand there will be a lot of food at this event which can only lead to a disaster with that bear on the loose. She's already been poking around, getting out the big snitching sacks in anticipation of upcoming goodie grabbing. And to make matters worse, a church always has a large sale during this festival, with baked goods poked out right where Betsy is sure to see them. I can only hope that all of those poor people are saying their prayers now, for their doom will be arriving on Saturday, on little bear feet!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The weather has taken a turn to the chilly side around here, which has made the bunnies develop concerns about their plants. They're talking about hopping out to purchase materials to construct mini-greenhouses and tents for them, and I don't like the way that they keep checking out my cat bed, and saying how perfect the location that it's currently situated in would be for their strawberry pot! I just know they're going to try to move that thing indoors, and then I will be expected to help look after it!

Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm afraid International Rabbit Day went very well for my bunny siblings. All of their fellow rabbits agreed that they are true masters of bunny craftmanship, which I'm sure is going to give those bunnies a ton of encouragement in their pursuit of gardening glory. Who is in charge of holidays like this, anyway? I ought to turn whoever it is over to our neighbors. Thanks to them cooking up that horrible rabbit celebration, the poor neighbors are sure to be homeless soon. The encouragement the bunnies got will undoubtedly lead to the doubling of the garden in size!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I trust all of my readers survived today's horrible events, with bunnies everywhere celebrating International Rabbit Day. How in the world the bunnies managed to get a holiday devoted to them, I'll never know. Isn't it bad enough that they have that day in spring when the head rabbit comes hopping around lagging baskets of goodies and practically daring Betsy to try to snag him? I would have warned you about today yesterday, so you would have had time to lock yourselves safely away, but the bunnies were distracted by their rooting work, and didn't let me know until bright and early this morning that it was an official bunny holiday. You don't want to know the horrors I have seen today. Rabbits have been everywhere, partying and stuffing themselves silly with vegetables. And then they amused themselves with a marathon of televsion and movies, staring rabbits! I think I might be developing insomnia from the noise!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The bunnies popped their strawberry vine in for rooting purposes today. They're sure that they will get several plants, possibly as many as six, out of the one vine, and goodness knows what could happen if they bring it in for the winter. It will probably take over the house by spring if that happens. I spotted one of the rabbits scouting out a place for the pot the strawberries are currently rooting in, right next to my cat bed. That doesn't seem to be a good sign at all, and there is much alarming talk about how they ought to try rooting a ton of other stuff too, while they're at it!

Friday, September 24, 2010

The rabbits have obtained rooting material, and are making plans to plant the strawberry to start rooting first thing in the morning. I can only assume this is a sign of disaster to come. And what if these strawberries root and grow? I have heard that strawberries send out something dangerous called runners. The bunnies are planning to keep their plants in here all fall and winter, to let them get a good start. Who knows how much they could grow, especially if these runners get loose?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I think I'll send out Christmas cards this year, to every cat that I know, and possibly to every rabbit that my bunny siblings have invited over as well. That out to make a nice, fat load for that pesky mailman. You won't believe what he has done this time. He actually lagged a package, filled with strawberry plants for rooting, to our doorstep for the bunnies! Needless to say, they were thrilled, and now they're plotting to obtain special dirt for maximum rooting potential. Does anyone know how hazardous strawberries are to our neighbors' continuing homeownership?

The human met with that visiting relative again, and she came home alarmingly happy, with much talk about future meetings, to grow the tree being scheduled. Does anyone know the best way to control wild growth of plant life? The human is talking about visiting the mountains next, to show off graves and houses, and that will surely lead to disaster for those poor mountain bears, if Betsy accompanies them, as she always does. The human's already added a new limb just tonight!

Monday, September 20, 2010

The mailman foolishly lagged a big envelope stuffed with genealogy materials to the human's mailbox today. Really, it will serve him right with the stuff he keeps bringing her if he then has to deliver piles of her genealogy books. And I think I might make him deliver some flyers advertising my participation in that PetSmart contest, too. Really, with the encouragement he keeps giving my human, it's only fair that he's punished in some way.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I have good news for a change! The human has entered me in a contest at PetSmart. I urge all of my readers to go here right away and vote for me. The prize is a commercial appearance, and I would look so nice on television. Okay, so the rabbits are hopping around, saying that I can use the commercial to promote their tales of rabbit terror. I can deal with that. There's a thing called a green room, I hear tale, on television sets. That sounds like the kind of place for bunnies. They'll be so busy stuffing themselves silly with veggies that they'll forget about hopping onto the set. Vote for me right away, and vote often!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Does anyone know how I can best hide magazines and block sites that provide information about genealogy and future talks on genealogy? The human has found out about another place, offering a series of talks on the horrible family tree, and now she's all fired up, wanting to go. And to make matters worse, they are holding this event near one of the branches of that nightmarish tree, which will surely give her more material for its continued growth. Isn't there a law someplace, against such a large piece of horticulture?

Friday, September 17, 2010

Does anyone know how I can go about suing the local election commission? They allowed an obvious lunatic on the ballot, and to make matters worse, the loon won, and has now restored the library and even worse, the genealogy archives, to full operating hours! The shrunken hours were the only thing saving us all from that tree reaching monster heights! We are doomed, we are all doomed, thanks to this loony! The human is even looking into sending him a nice fat cake as a thank you gift, which is surely a sign that she plans to take full advantage of the additional hours of research time.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tonight's blog will be a bit short. I suspect the human will be in wanting to sleep shortly. She is covered in hives, and was forced to take a medication that knocks her out. Betsy Bear is the chief suspect in this hive reaction.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The human met with a cousin today, to discuss that tree. Normally, that would be the bad part, but then something happened to overshadow potential tree growth. The human went off with this cousin, and Betsy Bear was left to wait in the car, right outside of a bakery. I am now afraid to turn on the television, because I am sure that bear will be on the news, as the main suspect in the poor bakery's robbery and in the nervous breakdowns of the bakery employees! Really, doesn't the human know better than to do such a thing by now?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I am going to sue the squirrels for every nut that they have. One of those pests was playing around this morning, juggling nuts, I do believe, when a nut when a bit too high, and the next thing we knew, a transformer had blown. We didn't lose power here, thank goodness, but until the human found out what happened, there was much discussion amongst the teddies on whether the noise could call for an emergency evacuation of the house, and if so, the best way to lag me out. They have currently decided that the best way to do this is to stuff me into a cardboard box, and seal it with duct tape until I am safely locked in the car, and all teddies are loaded up as well. And they're talking about practicing this as well! Does anyone know where I can get a box cutter on short notice?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Does anyone know the best place to get a fur suit dry cleaned? I'm sure my poor fur needs it. The human is still sad and depressed over her plans to sell those books falling apart like they did, and she spent the morning sobbing over it. Do you know the damage that tears can do to fur? I'm sure that the salt is sapping away all of the moisture from my fur, and making it dry and brittle.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My poor fur. I'll have to have it dry-cleaned, I'm sure. The human just found out that over a thousand children are attending that reenactment tomorrow, which seems like it might bode well for the weekend crowd. She's sure all of her books would sell, and she would probably get orders for more, too, and now she can't go. She tears up every time she thinks about it, which is murder on the fur. I wonder if I should demand the bunnies hop out to purchase a rain coat for me? And even worse, if all of those books sold, think of the money that I could then figure ways to get my paws on! Now I'm getting depressed over this situation!

The human's plan to attend that reenactment to talk about the horrible family tree, and to sell her books has completely fallen apart, leaving me with a sobbing human, and danger of fur damage due to tears. And, to make matters worse, I actually saw her coil a couple of books, just to see how it would work, and apparently what the rabbits said coil insertion was is completely different than the actual job, because what the human did looked like fun, and something I'm sure that I could do so much better than her. Only now she's so upset, she isn't wanting to try to put together anymore books, not ones related to that awful tree and not ones for the church! Now what am I going to do? 200 coils, and unless the human produces books, I won't get to get my paws on a single one!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I stepped up my plans to save myself from being forced to coil all of those books today. While the human was snoozing, I found one of my groundhog siblings' party guests, who was still napping in the yard from their last gathering, and I bribed him wiht a can of peas to waddle out to the office store for a bit of sabotage. Needless to say, the human wasn't please to get a call, saying the hole punch was broken! She's trying another store now, so I suppose as soon as she goes to bed, I'll have to send that groundhog on another mission. I don't care how many monkeywrenches it takes, I am stopping book production! I just hope the monkeys don't need a wrench for something before I am through.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The books are at the office store, awaiting hole punching. Apparently that takes more than one day to do 100 books. One one hand, this is good, since it will mean that my poor paws will be spared coil work for a few more days, but on the down side, it means that when the books are done, coil inserting will be rushed. I'll likely have a bunny standing over me, telling me to insert faster, and poking me with a carrot the entire time!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The humans collated all of the books today, with the assistance of the rabbits, and added covers and backs. 100 books are now in two boxes, awaiting a trip to the office store for hole punching, and then back home for me to wear my little paws out, on the coil insertion line. I tried to sabotage things by leaping into the middle of the collating line, but I was captured, and locked up until they were through. I have never suffered so much in my life, being locked up, being poked repeatedly with carrots, and the worst is yet to come with those coils!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

She did it. She really did it. Thanks to those rabbits, guarding the ink, and using carrots to make me keep my distance, the human was able to finish her printing. There is now a stack of papers, a foot and a half high, awaiting hole punching, and then coil insertion. My poor paws hurt just thinking about it!

Friday, September 3, 2010

I was able to drain a bit of ink from the second ink cartridge when the bunny who was guarding it hopped off for a second to arm herself with a carrot to use as a weapon. I didn't get nearly enough of it, though, because the human is almost half done with printing all of the pages she needs. And she purchased two more cartridges, that are supposed to be packed with extra ink to give her more pages. She expects if things continue t the present rate to have all pages printed tonight. And, to make matters worse, all of the rabbits have armed themselves with carrots and are hopping back and forth in front of the new ink to make sure I can't get it.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I've suffered a little setback on Phase One of preventing book production. The human went out and got not one but two, fresh cartridges of ink this afternoon. She's just started printing, and to make matters worse, I think the rabbits are suspicious of me. A bunny is standing guard over the ink at the moment. Any ideas for how I can distract her, to get rid of the second cartridge?

Disney has finally opened their new animal hotel. See the post about it here. And can I say how eager I am to try it out? Sure, it seems like it mainly caters to dogs, but with only thirty cat guests at a time, we felines will be an exclusive bunch, with only the best kitties getting in. Of course, I would have to take the trip in Betsy Bear's company, but we wouldn't be at the same hotel. The staff over at Kitty City would never have to know that I'm related to that bear, right?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Phase one of my plan to save myself from being forced to spend Labor Day laboring to insert a bunch of coils into books has begun. The human got everything together, and was happily anticipating working on her books today, to have them ready to have holes punched for coil insertion tomorrow. Well, I tossed a monkeywrench into that! I sabotaged her ink! It conked out on her, before she could get past her first page of printing. Really, it was my most brilliant idea ever, if I do say so myself. Now if I can just figure out how to prevent the purchase of more ink, I will be golden. Oh, and if I can just prevent the monkeys from wandering by to ask where their wrench went, that would be good too.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The bill for those flowers that I had the etiquette question about arrived today, which wasn't unexpected since the florist is only five or six blocks away. The problem is that the bill for this plant was almost forty dollars! My name was placed on it! Does this mean that I have to come up with cash towards this bill now? Is the florist going to come after me for my part?

Walmart has joined all of the other businesses around on my need to sue list. The human went there today, and they sold her eight packs of shiney paper to print out horrible genealogy materials for book purposes. She is planning to do an edit tomorrow, and arrange things a bit better before getting right to work on printing. And printing can only lead to binding, and coils needing to be inserted. Which can only lead to work for ME! Walmart should be ashamed!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Okay, I am now getting concerned. I heard the human talking just a bit ago, and she was saying something about how she was sure that I would just love having my dog cousins drop by for a few days to visit, so she can get a ride to that horrible battle to sell her books. Now, I have nothing against dogs, but these don't seem like the most disciplined canines in the world, and I would undoubtedly be expected to spend valuable napping time reforming them! Not to mention, what if the bunnies recruited them for gardening excavation duties? Mud and dirt everywhere, and I'm sure I would be held responsible. Does anyone know how to repel potential house guests?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

I have an etiquette question that I hope someone can help me with. The humans had a death in the family this weekend, and naturally, they sent flowers to the funeral. I happened to be strolling by as the human was placing this order, and at the last moment, before I could do a thing, she told the florist to add my name to the gift card. The way I understand it, people who have their name on plant gift cards are supposed to contribute towards the purchase of said plant. So, does this mean that I am on the hook for this flower, even though it sure wasn't my idea? I suspect the human forged my name in the funeral guest book as well. Does that create more of an obligation for me? Now will I have to purchase a sympathy card or something?

Friday, August 27, 2010

I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that the church books must be discussed at the next meeting before the human can get to work on them, which means that I have a month before I am expected to insert those coils. The bad news, though, is that means the human will have a month to get the other books she wants together, and to hopefully find a missing record book. She might have five or six books ready to go into production by the time the meeting rolls around, which means I could be inserting five or six hundred coils, instead of the 200 that I was fearing!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Does anyone know how to sabotage a phone? The human plans to call the minister tomorrow, to get permission to start copying the church records for binding, and while she's laboring over the church copier, she has plans to make copies of material for her own books too. Which, of course, means my weekend will be spoilt, by bunnies hopping around, wanting to help in book assembly, and who have plans to draft me for coil insertion duties. Does anyone here know how bad phone wires are for teeth? I'm sure dentists don't recommend it, but chewing their the phone wire might be my only option.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I have so many people to sue now that it isn't funny. UPS got themselves added to my little list when they trotted to the door this afternoon, with a huge box with clear front covers, and in even worse news for my paws, the two hundred coils that will need to be inserted in the books. Needless to say, the human was thrilled, and was amusing herself, fussing over the material, and exclaiming how nice her books will look when put together. I have a horrible fear as to what I will be spending this weekend doing.

I am going to be spending all of my time in court, is all that I can say, because Office Depot, the Post Office, and that pesky mailman who really ought to know better by now are being sued as soon as I can find a lawyer. You won't believe this, but Office Depot just sent the human a fat rebate card in the mail, a card that will be more than enough to cover the costs of getting holes punched in those nightmarish genealogy books, and in the books for church as well. My nap was rudely disturbed by her shouts of happiness upon opening the envelope and seeing the amount on her card. Office Depot should be ashamed, and I don't know what the post office was thinking! And now she's thinking of calling the church right away, to see about getting things set up to get those books made quickly. I am doomed!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Does anyone know how to bring suit against Fed-Ex? While the human was out, they came creeping by in their little truck, and dropped off 200 backs for the books the human is planning to put together for herself and for the church. I tried to tell them that we weren't accepting the delivery of that package, but would you believe that they said as I wasn't the human it was mailed to, that I didn't have the right to tell them to take it back? The backs are sitting in the kitchen now, awaiting the arrival of the covers and coils to go with them, and then the assembly fun will start. Does anyone know how to make delivery truck repellent?

Monday, August 23, 2010

Call the police right away! As if it wasn't bad enough, that the human attended four days at that genealogical horror session, learning to grow her horrible tree, she just checked her voice mail, and her request to speak at sign her book of Civil War letters at the battle held down at one of those horrible ancestors homes has been approved! This means that she will need books put together, which means someone is going to have to assist in this assembling! The bunnies are hopping around, all excited, with their assembly sign-up list, and I have a sneaking suspicion my name is on there as a coil inserter. What in the world am I going to do? As soon as the supplies arrive, she plans to get right to work, binding books!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Well, the horror convention is over, and I swear when I find a good attorney, I am bringing charges against the people who are to blame for this event. The human came back with horrible ideas about growing that tree, and about how to make things with growing the tree go faster. She's already started working on one of the books she's wanting to do, based on these ideas, and I'm sorry to announce that the human thinks it is going very well. I shudder to think of how much this is going to encourage her. Those people ought to be ashamed of themselves. If she learns a better way to make those books, I will be drafted onto the book assembly line for sure! My poor, poor paws!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The horror is even more alarming today. The human went to that horrible archive place on her lunch break, and to speak up relative hunting, she got the idea to just order every obituary in the clippings file on the names she is researching, instead of cranking through microfilm to find each one. The cranking slowed her down tremendously, but now that one comfort is gone. She came home, her arms full of obituaries that were copied at lightening speed, and are ready for poking on the tree! Run for your lives while you still can!

The human spent the day at the horror convention, I am very sad to report, and came home happy with lots of ideas. For some insane reason, they actually let her attend a talk all about publishing, and needless to say, numerous bad ideas have been put into her head for assembling those horrible books of family tree materials. Those people should be ashamed of themselves, they really should be. My service was horrible yesterday due to the human's absence. I did not get a single nibble of cheese! And I seeing as they're allowing her back for a second day, I am anticipating more cheese denial. About the only good thing that I can see in any of this is the fact that the human took Betsy Bear with her when she left, but still, a day without that awful bear does not make up for such horror exposure, and such awful cheese denial.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Speaking of horror, tomorrow is the opening day of horror, when the genealogy conference starts. The human already has plans to head over, first thing in the morning, to learn all about growing that awful tree. She's even thinking of eating breakfast over there, to give her more time to play with that tree, and the horrible genealogist friends that she hopes to make. And what about my breakfast, might I ask?

The human did it. She actually did it. She placed an order for the materials needed to start putting together those horrible books related to her family tree. And she ordered material for the church as well. As of now, she has enough stuff to assemble 200 books! The bunnies are already hard at work, putting together a signup list for the book assembly line. And they keep looking at me, at the item coil insertion, and snickering. Why do I have a feeling the rabbits plan to put me down to thread 200 coils into books? My poor paws. I can feel the blisters already!

Monday, August 16, 2010

My worst nightmare has came to pass. Someone has offered to buy a couple of the human's genealogy books, which is a bad sign, I am sure, of future encouragement to come. Needless to say, the human was very pleased to get this news, and is eagerly anticipating hearing news about a talk she wants to give on that horrible family tree soon. I will be sure to warn my loyal readers should she get permission to do this, so you will know what areas to avoid. Decent sorts don't need to be exposed to such horror. And now that she has an offer for a couple of books, she's going to want to go ahead full speed with assembling things, I am sure. The rabbits have offered to assist her with this, and I do not like the way the bunnies were looking at me when they made this offer. I suspect they have plans to plop me on the horror assembly line!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Has anyone heard about that poor bear in Florida with a jar that got stuck on his head? They claim it happened when he was digging through some garbage, but I just know that Betsy is to blame somehow. The human has mentioned wanting to go to Florida again. That poor cub probably heard the news, thought Betsy was on her way, and got the notion if he hid his head, that she wouldn't be able to find him. He's just a cub after all, and goodness knows that infants aren't that clever. It took fish and wildlife ten days to free him. Do you suppose his mother can press charges against Betsy for frightening and endangering her cub?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I think I need to bring a suit against our local mission, for the trouble they have caused me, these last few days. Really, I know they're supposed to help the homeless, but this is ridiculous. The human loves visiting them, and the last couple of days, every time she has stepped foot in there, she has had various animals flinging themselves on her, begging to move in. I am now up to 655 siblings, thanks to that mission, and I am very suspicious of the rabbit that the human allowed to hop in today. She claims she's much too thin, and while I have to agree that she is a smaller bunny, I don't think I want to know what she's planning, in order to stuff herself. I'm sure it's a threat to the neighbors. Couldn't the mission have stuffed her properly first, before letting her out?

Friday, August 13, 2010

A disaster is fast approaching, is all that I can say. The human just emailed the place where one of her ancestors lived, and where they have a Civil War battle each year, to see about setting up to sign the book of letters she assembled from one of her relations that was in the war, and who fought nearby. She has also offered to talk about the family. What if they agree to this? The human is sure she could do a good talk, with her research to guide her, which would lure lots of people in, and bring in lots of money for the society! I think I'll be screening her email for a few days, to delete any acceptances she might get. Such horrible encouragement can only result in more growth to that nightmarish family tree!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I don't know why the grocery store hates me. I've never crept in and amused myself raiding their fish and milk supplies. I have done nothing to offend them. They must have something against me, though, because they just announced a contest for my kind, with a summer theme. The prize is a hundred dollar gift card for their establishment. The rabbits saw this, and immediately thought of all of the seed that would purchase. They are now hopping about, gathering various props and discussing how best to pose me so they will win. Is there a law against dressing cats in Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses? The grocery store should be ashamed!

The humans purchased a new bed for me today. It's rather nice, and matches my fur, so I suppose I should be pleased, but frankly, I am suspicious, and it is all due to those rabbits. As soon as the humans brought the bed in, they hopped over, and started going on about how portable it is, and how perfect it would be for travel. And I'm sure that any trips the bunnies have planned for me will involve them as well, and probably either seed hunting, or selling their tales of rabbit terror. Perhaps I ought to avoid this bed like the plague?

Monday, August 9, 2010

I have horrifying news. The squash is flowering! The bunnies hopped out to check it out, and then came in, squealing about the arrival of the first blossoms. Oh, this doesn't bode well at all! Those blossoms are sure to become squash, and can only lead to the rabbits getting a huge harvest. And I just know they're plotting to find some work for me related to this gardening, and harvesting.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Oh, I forgot to share the other disastrous news that resulted from the human attending that yard sale yesterday. I church was taking part, and for some reason, a bunny was loitering around their booth. Naturally, when my human came trotting up to check out the merchandise, the rabbit threw herself on the human, declared she was a poor, homeless creature and begged to be adopted right away. And the human fell for it, of course. The rabbit is here right now, lounging in the living room, making plans for a long soak in the tub, and then a bit of gardening. I am up to 648 siblings. And this one will probably want to get her picture taken too!

The human limped off to that horrible, giant yard sale today, and naturally a couple of rabbits, one of the polar bear cubs and Betsy went along with her. She wasn't able to go to very many sales, but the ones she did choose to hit ought to be illegal. She trotted by the lady who has the nerve to offer various seed for sale every year. I think you can safely guess what happened there, with rabbits on the loose. And then there were the poor senior citizens, the American Legion and those Veterans of Foreign Wars. I don't know why those people never learn. They were selling food again this year for some insane reason, or they were before Betsy dropped by. I just hope they are insured, especially the seniors. They were being very foolish this year, and offered a large supply of cotton fabric for sale as well. I think you can guess what happened with that. The cub came trotting back with his paws full! And then, to make matters worse, the bunnies picked up a little something for me! A cat harness, so they can drag me everywhere by a leash!

Friday, August 6, 2010

The human got more material from the church, for assembling into book formats. I think I might need to go into hiding, because she believes she will have enough for four or five books, by the time she is done, and possibly a few short booklets too. And, to make matters worse, the human who let her in to gather this material thinks that doing books is a wonderful idea. My poor, poor paws! I just know the human is plotting to put me on the book assembly line. And if she gets assembly rolling, she will probably try to slip in some genealogy stuff too!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I am very sorry to announce the continuing health of the squash in the bunnies' garden. I'm afraid we've had a good bit of rain recently, and it has provided horrible encouragement for the plant. It's rather fat at the moment, and bright green, just lounging out there, waiting for the rabbits to start lagging out gallons of milk to feed it, and encourage more growth. I've seen suspicious movement from the watermelons as well, and I just know those things are plotting their path to our poor neighbors' homes even as we speak.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I would like to offer my apologies to the country for what you suffered on Monday, but really, you must admit that you brought some of it on yourselves, living there, and not investing in bear and rabbit protection. The human went up to the country cottage on Monday, and of course Betsy trotted along with her, and a couple of my bunny sisters hopped along as well. I don't want to know what the bunnies did, but they came home looking much plumper than they were when they left, and there was much talk of butternut, tomatoes, and how badly our relation, poor Farmer Turley, really needed his fields of crops. As for Betsy, the less I say about her, the better. I just know she got her paws on our neighbor's poorly guarded plane, and is plotting something with it. And to make the disaster complete, there is now talk about going back for a few days, and my accompanying the humans on this trip! I will be taken as an accomplice for sure!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The human went out this afternoon and did a little pricing, to figure out how to get the best deal on those horrible books she's wanting to make for the church. Then she came home, and did a price comparison on Amazon. Much to my horror, she found a way to cut the cost per book almost in half. With such a good deal, I'm sure that the church will go for letting her produce these horrible manuscripts. And they will make such a large profit that I just know they will offer her aid with going to that horrible genealogy convention. Really, shouldn't such things be illegal? How can I report this church to the law? If the human does what she is planning, I am sure I will be drafted into assembling a nightmarish number of books, for rush orders!

Friday, July 30, 2010

I have more proof the church is up to something horrible. The human dropped by a church today, to visit some sort of sale, and there were a couple of bears lounging around. Of course, when the spotted my human, they darted up, and started begging to go home with her, claiming they were homeless misfortunates. She bought it, of course, so now I am up to 647 siblings. Really, the church should be ashamed! And, of course, as soon as these bears arrived home, they joined the rest of my siblings in the great photo debate. That's just what I need, more siblings to argue over photos that I will then be expected to appear in.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Does anyone have any advice on how to sabotage a phone, hopefully quick advice before the human can place a call to the minister tomorrow, to get permission to start producing books, and copying other stuff for book purposes. I will probably be put on the assembly line if she gets this going, and heaven help me if she needs things mailed. The taste of envelope glue will never get off of my tongue. I tried cutting the lines, but the scissors I found didn't work too well, and the polar bears refuse to loan me their good scissors. Any other ideas as to what else I can do? I'm planning to hide the cel phone while she's sleeping tonight.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I want the church prosecuted for this right away! I want the minister arrested! I want the choir drug off in handcuffs! And I won't say what I want done to that office store who helped the human with her horrible work. She trotted down there this afternoon, with a big book full of the church records from 1945 on, and got them reduced in size, to a format suitable for binding and selling. Needless to say, the human was very pleased when she came home, and was chattering about going to the church soon, to do more records. And they showed her how to do the evil things on her own, too, which can only lead to disaster. If she isn't dependent on the copy girl, who knows how fast she will be able to crank stuff out? And what if the church is impressed? One of those horrible books on encouraging family trees had an evil article on the importance of church records for tree growth. She thinking of showing it to the minister! What if they do decide to help her with conference expenses? Who knows what that could lead to?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I wonder if I can sue the church? The human is determined to get something done this week, on making copies of the church records to sell for genealogical purposes. She has big plans, if she can get the copies she needs made, and I'm sure that this won't bode well. She's thinking if she gets things together like she wants, that the church might help with her fees for that genealogy conference they are foolishly having here. I am very much afraid she could be right, and heaven help us all if she is. Who knows what tree growth that could lead to! Can the church be charged with encouragement of a monsterous family tree?

Monday, July 26, 2010

I heard the human talking about paying a visit to the country today. I wonder if the country has had time to obtain insurance, yet? Because my delinquent siblings also heard her, and they started chattering about how many nice photo opportunities there might be, up in the country. If they get it into their heads to trot up there to take pictures of themselves, they will surely expect ME to go as well! I have visited the country before, and frankly, I have no desire to go again, after the havoc Betsy caused up there last time. Those people carelessly leave their boats, golf carts and if he's finished it, planes, totally unguarded for Betsy to make off with, and I refuse to become an accessory to her crimes!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I just heard of a bear who tried to make off with some human's car. You can find the article here. I can only assume that this bear was some relative of Betsy's, and was plotting to take these poor humans' vehicle as a getaway car for some crime. I do hope they are insured for such things. Of course, it could be worse, though. It could have been Betsy herself who got her paws on their car. If she had snatched it, goodness only knows where it would have ended up, and how many crimes it would have became a part of. At least this bear was a novice driver.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I am a good cat, a model of decent feline behavior, I feel. I don't harass mice, I'm good and kind to my human, well, as long as my food bowl is full, anyway, I put up with the antics of my siblings. So, would someone want to tell me why I am now being punished with these photo antics? They are planning to order the new memory cards for their photo session tomorrow, and they have their little eyes on a two pack! That will be over 4000 photos if they use both cards! And I will be expected to be in every shot! Does anyone know the best place to hide from a camera? True, I do have 643 siblings at last count, but still, that does not, in any way, shape or form call for that many pictures!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

My siblings are still plotting that group photo, and now they are wanting online to visit wikipedia, to look up the best settings. That's why I couldn't post yesterday. Really, they're totally out of hand. I don't know what I'm going to do. The rabbits are insistent that they must have their photos in the garden, and the penguins are just as insistent about using the pool. And now the penguins are trying to recruit the stingray and the otter to their cause! The one thing they all agree on, though, is that I should share these photos. What am I going to do if the penguins win? The chlorine in the pool will ruin my nice fur!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I swear, when I get my paws on the person who suggested my siblings could win something, for being the largest group of fluffies, they are going to pay. They have all jumped enthusiastically on the idea, and are now debating the proper sitting for a group photo. The rabbits are arguing for the garden, so their horrible plants can be used as props, while the penguins are wanting the swimming pool as a backdrop. And the polar bears, of course, are insisting that quilts be out in full force, and are saying they aren't coming out for a shoot until their warmth can be assured. They are even planning to order a new photo card for the human's camera, just to hold all of their photos! And there is much talk about my appearing in each photo, to show my support! I will be out there all day, and my nap schedule will be totally ruint! the human who put this into their little heads ought to be ashamed!

I can't believe this. Some human gave my human the idea that she should submit pictures of all of my siblings, to try to win something, for having the most bears and other assorted fluffies. You don't want to know how pleased that delinquent batch was with this idea, and now they're all trotting around, demanding my assistance with their laundry to make sure their clothes look their best, and arguing over fur brushes. And what if they try to get me to appear in this photo? I refuse to appear in something so frightening!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I really wonder what our neighbors did to offend the Native Americans. Their ancestors must have ripped them off big time, is the only thing I can figure, because both types of seed that those people provided to the rabbits are sprouting. Needless to say, the bunnies were thrilled, and are thinking of asking for more seed. If the Natives send it, I will know for sure there is some horrible plot going on. Well, my ancestors were respectable cats, who had nothing to do with any property issues, so I demand to be left out of this!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Those polar bears have really done it this time. I caught one of the cubs, lounging on the human's pillow and whispering into her ear as she was snoozing, on how she could win a prize in the quilt show the next time it comes around. And of course, this will require more fabric purchases. They already have a website picked out, where these fabrics can be obtained, too. And they're trying to tell her a mini-quilt would work best, so there will be loads of fabric left over for them. Does anyone know how I can block such a dangerous website?

That quilt show, that foolishly picked this town for their convention was apparently stricken with amnesia, because they returned this year. Needless to say, the polar bears were thrilled, and sent one of the cubs off with the human when she visited today to collect materials for constructing blankets. There were several bags in view when that cub came back, and then tiny little boxes, holding enough fabric in each one for a full sized polar bear quilt. They're planning to beg the human to take them back tomorrow, to try to get more goodies. And then they will need batting for these quilts. I do hope all sheep in the area have good insurance policies that cover them for wool loss.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm very sorry to announce that the tomatoes are starting to sprout. The bunnies have tons sprouts from the homestead, beefsteak, cherry and rutgers tomatoes plus the first sprout from that horrible fellow named Willie who lives in a boxcar, and devotes himself to encouraging bunnies. The cantaloupe is up, too, and the rabbits are sure that they will find even more sprouts when they hop out tomorrow. Probably with my luck, their zebra tomatoes will sprout next. Those things are sure to cause trouble.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I wander if I should get a going away present for our neighbors, for they will surely be leaving soon, if they know what is good for them. We had more rain today, and with each drop, it seemed another plant sprouted. Needless to say, the bunnies are thrilled. The bushel gourd, spaghetti squash, butternut squash, blanch & vert, honeydew melon, watermelon, poinsett cucumbers, national pickling cucumbers and okra are all rearing their leafy heads. Some tomatoes are sprouting too, but they didn't get names off their little markers to report in on those yet.

Monday, July 12, 2010

The human went to meet a friend this weekend, which would normally be good news, since she took Betsy Bear with her. Unfortunately, the friend was at a convention, and another human was also there, who had wool in her possession, and then admitted to knowing the location of a flock of wooly sheep. Needless to say, the polar bears were pleased to get this news, and they are busily plotting how to get their paws on this wool right now. I hope those poor sheep have insurance.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The rain worked. The Kharboza melon, the Russian pumpkin, and the local pumpkins are sprouting, which is a horrible sign. The other seeds are sure to sprout at any time, I am sure. Our poor neighbors. I will be very sad to see them go, but I don't see there is any choice. The rain also helped the bunnies' watermelons, which can reach a hundred feet in length. Unless our neighbors want to be overtaken by giant vegetables in the middle of the night, they should flee now.

Friday, July 9, 2010

The bunnies held a practice dance in the backyard last night, and sure enough, rain came pouring down this morning. And, of course, this rain seems to have done a world of good for their garden, according to the rabbits. They put on little raincoats, and hopped out to check, then rushed back in, to announce there were sprouts. I don't want to think of what they might find tomorrow.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The rabbits are not happy, due to the current lack of rain. They had been distracted with planting, you see, and forgot to do their rain dancing as much as they normally do. Now, they're worried the lack of rain is keeping seeds from sprouting. I don't see this as a problem, but the bunnies most certainly do. They have invited every rabbit in the area to come over this weekend for a giant rain dance to correct the issue. I would suggest all humans start work on your arks now. Given those rabbits' track record, I am very afraid you will need them.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Our neighbors spent yesterday foolishly shooting off fireworks, instead of packing their bags to flee. They will pay for that decision now, is all that I can say, and I hope they know they have no one to blame but themselves. The bunnies poked out more watermelon today, this time a funny gray kind from Charleston, and then a jumbo pack of okra. They didn't get it exactly where they wanted it, but they're sure that it can be moved, once they have sprouts. And once it is moved, the neighbors might as well say goodbye to their homes.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The bunnies were right. The kettle gourd and the dipper gourd poked their leafy heads up today. That means that everything from their first round of planting is beginning to sprout. Isn't there a law against such alarming gardening success? And what about their second round of planting? The bunnies are hopping about in eager anticipation of those things popping up. They think it could even happen as early as tomorrow. I wonder if I have time to hide?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The bunnies planted more. They just hopped in to announce that they put out banana squash big enough to feed gorillas, banana melon for medium sized monkeys, Cinderella pumpkin, moon and stars watermelon, patissons panache blanc et vert, spaghetti squash, sucrine du berry, bushel gourd, Cherokee black tomatoes, black zebra tomatoes, tomatoes from someone named Willie who makes his home in a boxcar, and great white tomatoes, which are probably popular with certain species of whale. The zoo should go on high alert right away, as I'm sure escapes to sample the produce are being planned. Someone needs to have a talk with the Native Americans too. I'm sure their contributions to the rabbits' garden are part of some plot to punish us all for the loss of their land hundreds of years ago.

As if their current crop of sprouts wasn't bad enough, the bunnies poked out twelve more things this afternoon. They planted Green Zebra tomatoes, brandywine tomatoes, Mr. Stripey tomatoes, Cherokee purple tomatoes, giant paws full of sweet peppers, Hamilton market peppers, paprika peppers, cantaloupe, two different types of cucumbers, Hungarian hot wax peppers, and butternut squash. I wonder if I should offer to help our neighbors pack, so they can flee before it is too late?

The bunnies are hopping around celebrating so much that I can hardly hear myself think. The sprouting is coming along alarmingly well. The birdhouse, luffa, penguin and gooseberry gourd are up, along with the white squash, mandarian cucumber, more of the Ukraine cucumber and those pumpkins from that evil uncle named Herman. It has only been six days since those things were planted, which makes this sprouting even more alarming. They suspect that the dipper gourd and kettle gourd will be up soon, too, as if we need more sprouts. The Department of Rabbitculture who supplied them with some of the seeds will be so pleased.

Friday, July 2, 2010

I'm very sorry to announce that the bunnies obtained packs of cantaloupe, cucumber and Hungarian hot wax peppers today. They plan to hop out in the morning to plant the horrible things. Oh, and the farmer's market is open too, right near the horrible genealogy archives. Of course, the rabbits were thrilled to hear this, and are encouraging the human to visit right away. I can only hope her leg will prevent her from trotting up there tomorrow.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Maybe our neighbors are serial killers. If they are, then wouldn't it be a good thing for the rabbits to get rid of them? I can only hope that they have taken to murder, for the bunnies have surely sealed the doom of their house today. They hopped out and planted ten more things. They put out another pack of cucumbers, bushkin pumpkins, some sort of Russian pumpkin, a Spanish pumpkin, some melon called Kharboza, gooseneck gourd, whale gourd, apple gourd, and two different types of local pumpkin.

I am very upset to announce that the first seeds that the bunnies planted have started to sprout. They hopped out today, to put out more things, and came rushing in to announce that alarming amounts of squash are popping up, and they believe a few cucumbers too. Oh, and the first Ukraine cucumber is up as well. The Department of Agriculture, a.k.a The Department of Rabbitculture, who supplied them with those seeds will be so happy to get the good news, I'm sure.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Remember our neighbors, for those poor people are doomed. I wonder if I ought to call, and let them know now, so they can flee while there is still time? The bunnies have been hopping about with their little packs of seed, and while they still don't have their beds dug as much as they want, they do have a space cleared that they think will work well for starting plants, then by the time they're big enough, they are sure they will have the rest dug up so they can move things. They poked out eighteen different things today. They planted cantaloupe, honeydew melon, frighteningly large numbers of watermelon seed, eggplant, egg gourd, yellow squash, hubbard squash, gray zucchini, California pepper, jalapeno pepper, sweet banana pepper, grand bell pepper, rutgers tomato, homestead tomato, super marmande tomato, cherry tomato, beefsteak tomato and red pear tomato. I do hope the neighbors' insurance covers them for acts of gardening.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The bunnies' rain dance worked, I'm very sorry to report. The rabbits have high hope that the rain they danced up will cool things off a bit, so they can hop out in the morning and do some digging. They have a literal ton of tomatoes to plant, so they're very eager to dig. Do you think I need to issue some sort of alert when they hop out, to give the neighbors warning so they can flee for their lives?

I was too horrified to do this last night, but I thought I would let you know today of the continuing seed horrors. The bunnies hopped out yesterday, when it cooled off a bit, and planted two packs of cucumber, a pack of zucchini, a pack of butternut squash and a pack of watermelon. They wanted to plant more, but the ground isn't broken up as much as they like in most places. They're looking into renting a plow now, and I don't like how they keep looking at me when they are discussing who will pull it. Why don't they make the pelicans pull it, when they arrive?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Please join me in offering up prayers, for the poor neighbors, who are soon to be homeless. Really, they weren't bad neighbors. They just forgot to check for pairs of long, floppy ears before moving in, is all. I am very sorry to say that they are all doomed. The rabbits put on hats today, and hopped out to do some planting. Of course, they put out the most dangerous plants first. They have planted luffa gourd, birdhouse gourd, dipper gourd, penguin gourd, kettle gourd, gooseberry gourd, white bush squash, pumpkins from some evil uncle named Herman, mandarin cucumber and some sort of Ukraine cucumber. As soon as it cools down a bit, they plan to hop out and plant more!

Friday, June 25, 2010

There was an article in the paper today on that poor bear who was killed up in the mountains a month or so ago. The human isn't as upset now, at least, but I'm afraid that this article has given Betsy a horrible idea. She's now got it in her fluffy head that she should file suit against the park, in the name of the bear's survivors. And, as their legal representative, she figures she will get a hefty sum for assisting them with this. Our poor court system. It will never survive a visit from Betsy Bear. I do hope that no one in this state was hoping for any form of legal redress in the immediate future, because that sure isn't going to happen.

The bunnies just got a response from their first pelican, accepting their kind offer of room and board in exchange for garden help. I just know that's bad sign. This pelican has signed up for a single bird nest, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't show up with a batch of eggs in that big mouth too. And if it's happy here, then more pelicans will surely follow, each needing a bath, a bath that I will be expected to assist in!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

This pelican issue keeps getting worse. Not only have the bunnies invited more pelicans than I want to think about up to live in exchange for garden help, but now the rabbits are looking up the best way to clean feathers. I don't like the way that they're looking over at me while reading up on this feather cleaning either. I'm sure those rabbits are plotting to draft me into helping get those birds cleaned up. What in the world am I supposed to do if they try? My paws will be ruined from scrubbing birds!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The area around the swimming pool looks like a Easter Basket exploded, with all of the nests the penguins have set out for the birds they expect soon, in response to the bunnies' fliers offering room, board and a feather cleaning in exchange for light gardening duties. Light. Ha! I've seen the size of the veggies they grow, and the gardening duties couldn't be considered light by any means. I don't know what I'm going to do if the pelicans take the bunnies up on their offer. Do you know, they eat fish? My rabbit siblings are going through the cupboards right now in search of fish to offer the birds, and some of that fish happens to belong to me! Am I required to offer it to guests, if I didn't invite them to drop by?

Monday, June 21, 2010

In my horror over the bunnies plotting to invite all of those pelicans up to assist them in gardening, I forgot to update you on the reunion, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself it was all a nightmare. A relative has offered to assist the human financially with getting her genealogy stuff published. Of course, that could indicate professional publication, which would save my paws from having to work the copier, but still the thought of all of that horror being unleashed on an unsuspecting public is almost too much to take!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I need some sort of control for the television. The bunnies got their paws on the remote, and were poking around, looking for a gardening special, when they came upon a program on all of those big mouthed birds who have managed to get their feathers oily. The bunnies were very impressed with the size of the mouths on those things, and the next thing I knew, they were speculating about how much produce the pelicans could carry, and about how they would surely be cheaper that purchasing baskets and bags to haul their veggies. The bunnies are hard at work now on fliers to be distributed to those birds, offering them accommodations here, and a free oil removal in exchange for assistance with gardening duties. The penguins are in the back by the pool, putting up nests for them, too! Have you ever heard of such? And what if all of those pesky pelicans come up? Can you imagine how much produce they could carry for the rabbits?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The mailman has no one to blame for his upcoming doom than himself. I want this known right now. When he ends up scratched into a million pieces, he has only himself to blame for his fate. This morning he foolishly delivered a package containing blackberry, raspberry and blueberry seeds to the bunnies. Needless to say, they're very happy, and are plotting the best place to plant their bramble patch right now. Really, what was the mailman thinking? He delivered eight packs of seed, each with at least twenty-five seed inside. that is two hundred seed. What will become of him if all of those sprout? Like I said, he will end up scratched to pieces, and when he does, he should know it is all his own fault.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I have just seen the most alarming five inches in history. The human has a notebook, five inches thick at least, packed full of obituaries for that horrible gathering of relatives. Have you ever heard of such? I don't want to think of how many relatives are in there, and she claims she doesn't have even half of them yet, and is just getting started.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The human returned a bit ago with three more coil bound books of genealogy. And even worse, she came back with eight packs of page protectors, enough to hold four hundred sheets of info. I don't even want to think of what might happen if she uses all of those. She already has five notebooks stuffed full of stuff, and now six coil bound books. Really, This genealogy is too alarming, and even worse, she's planning to mass produce some of it for selling purposes! I know she's going to try putting me on copier duty or something when she goes into production mode.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The human found the cables, worst luck. I knew I should have hid those things better. I did manage to sabotage her ink, though, which delayed her printing a bit. She didn't let it stop her, though, and went trotting off to the office supply store to get her printing done there. She has three books full of genealogy material awaiting binding now, and I just know that she's going to amuse herself putting together more. She's even thinking of making multiple copies of one of the books for selling purposes. We are all doomed. The tree is going to grow out of control for sure. I woulld suggest running for your lives now.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

If the human comes around asking, my loyal readers should let her know I have no clue where the cables for her printer might be, and she certainly shouldn't search my bed for them. She is working hard, trying to put together all of her other genealogy stuff so she can show it off at the reunion, but in order to do so, she needs to print. And the cables are mysteriously missing. She's looking all over for them, and muttering about how if they don't turn up, she won't be able to do her planned genealogy. Now, wouldn't that be such a shame?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Will evil never cease? The human mentioned the bound genealogy information to a cousin, and now the cousin wants a copy. I'm very much afraid she's going to make a copy up for her, and then that can only lead to other cousins wanting copies as well. Who knows how far the evil might spread soon. I wonder if I ought to find a way to sabotage this little enterprise of hers?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The human has been threatening to put all of her genealogy materials together for awhle now, for publication purposes, but today she actually did it. Office Depot should be ashamed, encouraging the human like this. She came trotting home tonight with three coil bound books, that don't even have half of the genealogy that she has amused herself gathering. And I am trying not to think of the two notebooks the horrible office store helped her fill either. I urge a boycott of this business right away.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The human is hard at work, organizing that tree, and needless to say, she is grumpy, because the relatives are refusing to co-operate. I'm afraid she's finally done, though, at least for the evening. and she seemed happy with the final results, which doesn't seem like it will bode well for me. Does anyone have any ideas of how to best tame such a horrible piece of horiculture? I'm sure it's going to drop nuts on someone, and I hate to think of how many bears Betsy will be able to trap in the upper limbs.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I have more proof that escapees from the local mental institution are in charge of the fair this year. They are actually having a bear beauty contest at this thing, and to make it even crazier, they are having this at the same time that they are having a honey and bee competition. Betsy's making plans to enter herself in this bear event now, to help in her plans to raid the honey event. I can just imagine what will happen now. There will not be a single drop of honey left, and all of the bees will be captured and carted off to serve Betsy. And goodness knows what will happen to the poor bears who might be Betsy's competition in the bear beauty contest. I ought to call the funny farm right now, and demand that they round up their escapees now, before it is too late!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Disaster struck today. The catalogue, advertising what events they are going to have at the fair for produce arrived today. Needless to say, my rabbit siblings have been pouring over it, and planning out what they want to enter. I just know they're going to try to go for the giant vegetable event this year, and I don't want to imagine what they will try to do, to encourage plant growth that will allow them a victory. I don't even want to think about the bunny beauty contest this fair has planned, as well. Obviously they let the mental patients out to run this event. Why didn't they just call it a bunny encouragement event? Isn't there some law about truth in advertising?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Those humans will soon regret planning a family reunion, at least the cousin who intends to get married at the upcoming gathering. I've spotted Betsy Bear getting her extra large snitching sack out, and polishing up her cake spoon in anticipation of this event. A wedding is an indication that cake might be in the offing, and of course, Betsy plans to get her paws on this dessert right away. I do hope that the bride and groom didn't pick a nice cake, because goodness knows, there won't be a crumb left when Betsy gets through with it. I wonder if wedding insurance covers acts of bears?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Betsy has really done it this time. As if all of that missing honey wasn't bad enough, someone just posted on Facebook, reporting that a large quantity of marbles has gone missing. And, of course, I've been having to deal with the click-clicking of that bear, playing with a big batch of marbles for the last few hours. Does anyone know the penalty for marble theft? I have half a mind to turn her in, if for no other reason than so I won't have to hear those marbles anymore.

Monday, June 7, 2010

The human's leg is flaring, and she is now sitting on ice, which is a bad sign to say the least. When she's sitting on ice, she isn't supervising that horrible Betsy Bear, who is plotting how to trap innocent bears in the upper branches of the family tree, and even worse, sitting on ice, and needing to freeze that leg gives the human time to work on her computer, poking away at the tree, and adding more limbs! I don't want to think of how many might end up added tonight.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I would like to make it known now how much I hate cousin Wendell and his brother Glenn. I'm not to fond of Cousin Mary Evelyn either, and don't get me started on Cousin Cherry who managed to get not one but three obituaries in different newspapers. What does he need with three obituaries? And you don't want to know how pleased the human was when she saw all three of them. Does anyone know who at the police department I should complain to about these terrible relatives? And the human is still poking, trying to find more obituaries, too!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Well, horror season has started. The human has family reunions scheduled for the next two weekends. Really, why hasn't someone made those horrible events illegal yet? It only serves to encourage her genealogy research and the growth of that dangerous tree of hers. I ought to call the law, I really should. Does anyone have suggestions for where I can hide until these horrible events are over? And to make matters worse, a cousin is due to get married during one reunion. Another limb will be stuck on that tree right there.

Friday, June 4, 2010

I am putting the fire department on speed dial right away. I hope no one in town plans to have any fires in the immediate future, because the fire department will surely be to busy, rescuing bears from the human's monster tree to put them out. Betsy has arranged for fliers to be distributed, wherever she suspects the poor, undomesticated bears live, advertising the tree as perfect for climbing, and a must see for any bear. Then, when they get here, and get stuck in the upper limbs, somewhere around Cousin Roy, she can go and rob their dens at her leasure.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Now Betsy is getting into the act of encouraging that horrible tree of the human's. She's heard that those poor, undomesticated bears that she loves robbing are very fond of climbing trees, so she thinks if she can offer them a particularly nice, large tree, then she can lure them in for the purpose of robbery. Those poor bears. We will probably have to put the fire department on speed dial to rescue them from the human's monster tree.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I must contact a lawyer tomorrow to see how to file a suit right away against all of these relatives, who couldn't bother to hide their obituaries. The human has found any number of them, and in worse news, one of them, the one for Cousin Quinn, identified the family business he worked at. The human plans to try to see if it's online tomorrow, because she's sure it will lead her to other relatives. Cousin Quinn should be ashamed, and I intend to hold his estate accountable for endangering us all by encouraging the growth of that family tree!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The human found a free trial for that obituary site, and is now happily hunting down relatives. Does anyone know how I can file suit against this horrible place? It's surely giving her nightmarish ideas, and that tree is going to end up growing to new heights. She's already found more dead relatives than I want to think of, and with the married names it is producing, it will surely lead to who knows how many more relations!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The human is feeling better today, and although most would think that's a good sign, the fact that she's talking rather alarmingly about doing some writing in a bit surely isn't. I don't like the fact that she keeps thinking up new ideas for horrible novels either. The latest, involving a honey festival, is especially worrisome. I'm sure that will give Betsy bad ideas. Can you imagine what might happen if that bear attended a honey festival?

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The human is back from that graduation, and in horrible news for me, she's managed to return with a case of food poisoning. Really, I ought to lock the doors to keep that human from getting out of the house. She gets into trouble any time she leaves. The bathroom is now on my rooms to avoid list, and so is the human's bedroom until her stomach settles. Really, why couldn't Betsy get this? It would be so much safer for all concerned if she was ill and unable to cause trouble for awhile.

Friday, May 28, 2010

That cousin who had the nerve to graduate should be arrested, is all that I can say. The human managed to get into an extensive genealogical discussion while attending this reunion, and now she is hot on the trail of a coveted family Bible. I'm sure no good can come of her finding that book. Oh, and in even worse news, the rabbits got their hands on two large bags of beans as well. I expect to have to go into hiding, as soon as the bunnies come hopping back, or I might be forced into assisting them with planting these seeds.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The human is attending another graduation this weekend, and I am very concerned. There are alarming numbers of libraries along the path leading to this event, and I just know the human will use this as an excuse to poke more at that terrible tree of hers. Really, what are her relatives thinking? Can't a few of them fail, and spare us all from that monster plant?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

That cub has been found and returned home. I expect the law to show up tomorrow, asking questions, seeing as the bunnies had their name on that twine they are missing. At least now that the cub is at home, though, things can return to normal around here. Of course, one bad thing about normal, I'm very afraid it will include the human submitting the bunny books to an agent sometime in the next few days. I guess I can sacrifice our neighbors though. Them loosing their home is better than my home becoming hostage central.

Thank goodness, that pesky little cub has been spotted, and not tied up in the pool house either. Either Betsy's cousins weren't able to snag her, or more likely, they did, and she escaped. Needless to say, the human is thrilled and I must admit I am too. My fur is safe from sobs, and the house is safe from Betsy's cousins making it kidnapping headquarters!

Monday, May 24, 2010

The human is still worried about that cub, and is thinking of avoiding Facebook for awhile so she doesn't see anything else upsetting. Of course, the problem is, that if she does this, I'm sure that will leave her alarming amounts of time to work on that awful tree of hers. I ought to take that cub to court for causing all of this trouble. And, to make matters worse, I've seen Betsy with the glue, scissors and the newspaper, cutting out words and pasting them onto another sheet, and there are alarming words such as money, with the m crossed out, and replaced with an h to make the word honey, and other words like leave, under, and tree. I don't like that or else phrase she cut out from an editorial either.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Well, that pesky little bear cub is still missing, and although I'm sure her mother just has her stashed somewhere as part of a plot to get a book deal. or more honey or berries as payment for letting those humans follow her around, I have to admit I'm starting to get some concerns too. I saw Betsy online a bit ago, checking out the bear's fan page, taking notes of the number of humans who like her, and chucking as she punched numbers into a calculator. She placed a call to her cousins, the ones in the bear mafia, a short time later, and I'm suspicious of how they were laughing, and talking about something being as easy as taking honey from a cub. The bunnies are missing a net, and they were complaining a bit ago about how their twine for tying up peas and beans is gone as well. I fear Betsy is planning on taking advantage of what this cub's mother is up to, and is plotting with her cousins to snatch the cub for ransom. I can't be blamed if I check in the morning and find the little thing stashed in the pool house, can I?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I want those bears arrested right away. Surely there is some sort of law against them causing such damage to my poor fur. As if it wasn't bad enough that there was a poor bear killed in the mountains, now another cub who was on Facebook has gone missing. Needless to say, the human is freaked, and I'm sure will break into sobs at any moment. Honestly, what are those bears thinking? The mother bear probably hid the cub, planning to trot her out later and get some sort of book deal. Either that, or the little thing thought Betsy might drop in, and took to the trees in an attempt to hide. I don't think the human is going to calm down though. Really, what did I do so wrong, to make the bears give me all of this grief? Don't I put up with all of my siblings and their antics with more tolerance than most cats? Those bears should behave themselves and spare my fur! I ought to turn the law loose on them!

Friday, May 21, 2010

The human is still very sad about that poor little bear that was killed in the mountains yesterday. I think I might need fur protection until she stops crying. And, to make things even worse, in an attempt to cheer herself, the human went and poked around some more on another limb of that terrible family tree. Really, I ought to report the relative she investigated today for endangering us all with giant plant life. He's probably already guilty of who knows how many other crimes. I don't care if he's dead. Causing that tree to grow should get him drug in!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The human was very upset today due to this poor mountain bear, little more than a cub really, who nipped a tourist, and was then captured and killed by the park service, despite a big effort on Facebook to save the poor thing. I do feel sorry for the bear, who was probably just trying to flee in anticipation of Betsy dropping in, but the human was threatening to boycott the park, which might have cut into her genealogy efforts big time. I'm afraid she's came up with a worse plan, though. She is going to fictionalize this, and put it in one of her bear mysteries. Just wonderful. I hope that park is insured. They were worried about the annoying human who got nipped suing, I'm sure. Well, they should have worried more about this. The other bears weren't happy to begin with about what happened to this poor bear, and were in negotiations with the woodpecker for suitable payback. Now the human will probably need to go there for research, and they will be able to give my tenant a ride to peck apart park headquarters instead of him having to take the trouble to fly. And then there's Betsy. She was ticked too, thinking that this might make the other bears nervous and more difficult for her to hunt them down for robbery purposes. Now she can torment the poor park for that, and for research purposes. They are doomed. I'll bet in a few weeks, they will be wishing the pesky tourist who claimed he was nipped had fallen over the waterfall the trail led to, before this all happened.