Friday, January 23, 2015

Jesus in a game of Hide and Seek

Hi again,

I haven't been blogging because I only blog when I have insomnia and the Lord healed me from that. Yea! But I did have insomnia last night so while I didn't get up from my nice warm bed, I did have thoughts swirling around so here they are..

To catch up any newcomers.. I re-dedicated my life to the Lord in November 2014. And then I started on a roller coaster of life being awesome and plunging down into depression in December and ending the year on a high note. Well my life is and always will be a roller coaster. In January, the sun DID NOT SHINE! This was a horrible thing for me and once again I plunged down into darkness. I mean there were other things going on but I like to blame the sun. This week's weather has me on the upswing again.

When you are in the darkness, do you ever wonder where Jesus is? It's really dark and you don't see Him. I know for some they are crying out to Him and in so much despair and pain and grief that they just feel so alone. Intellectually, they may know that God is there but it doesn't feel that way.

Well that's not my story. I am Peter walking on the water. I ended my post about re-dedicating my life in November with "Do not take your eyes off Jesus.. not even for a second" Here comes January.. SPLASH! Fell right in the water.. swirling around drowning.. my Saviour is right there but I like an idiot decide that if I keep flailing my arms around, I will be okay. That didn't work for me.

Okay so the title of my blog.. Jesus in a game of Hide and Seek. This was my middle of the night musings. We close our eyes and we count to 100. We feel like Jesus is hiding from us. All we see is darkness. We keep counting. We stop counting. And we just stand there. Stand there with our eyes closed and say "Where's Jesus?" When we turn around and SEEK Him, we discover that He doesn't play Hide and Seek. He was standing right behind us the whole entire time waiting for us to open our eyes and seek Him. He's right there. He's waiting.

So here is how this looks like in my life. I will admit that sometimes I am in the depths of despair where I am bawling and all I do is cry out to Jesus. And yes, He hears my cries and we are told that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. But my story revolves around being Peter walking on water. I ended 2014 with the Bible in my hand in which I would read it for sometimes hours each day. I started 2015 and it slipped away. And as my soaking in the Word and my seeking out Jesus slipped away.. so did everything else. Jesus.. where are you????

And the still small voice.. I am right here. I always have been. Just come back.

Jesus didn't come to Earth to solve all our problems. But Jesus is there for us through our problems. We have to seek Him. So I am back now and ending another post and will keep ending the posts until it is ingrained in my silly little human head.