Thinking, about cycling. "Anybody whose mind is proud enough not to breed true secretly carries a bomb at the back of his brain; and so I suggest, just for the fun of the thing, taking that private bomb and carefully dropping it upon the model city of commonsense." (This blog began as an archive of DYNAMITE!, the newsletter of London Dynamo cycling club, which you can still access via "DYNAMITE! filed" in the list below on the left.)

A HOL LOT OF GOOD
+++ Italian breaks reap results +++
Like many shrewd members, astute DYNAMITE! is always wary of the latest training fads – but after witnessing the rejuvenating effects of a certain technique and the simplicity with which it can be mastered, this publication can heartily recommend the unusual method referred to in hushed tones as “taking a bit of a break”. It’s controversial, Dynamates, but the results speak for themselves. Mahogany-hued ‘RADAR’ RUSS TURNER celebrated his 36th birthday by sunning himself on the banks of Lake Maggiore before coming home to win his first race since he was a BMX junior – and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, who was holidaying elsewhere in Italy, displayed a return to form when he raced on the same circuit as Russ this week. Terrific Turner’s success was one of an incredible three Dynamo wins at Chertsey – so come with us now to the Surrey League event as we reveal the other two valiant victors. Here comes a triple whammy…

WINNING STREAKY
+++ Sprint victory for Danish debutant +++
It was his first outing in Dynamo colours, and he was nowhere to be seen until the final 300m – but great Dane RUNE ‘SIZZLER’ SANBECK brought home the bacon by out-sprinting more than 60 4th cats to win at MoD Chertsey on Saturday… http://tinyurl.com/2hkaqh. Let’s hope it wasn’t a flash in the frying pan! The crash-marred race was run simultaneously with the women’s event, which jet-setting Dynamette MELISSA GILLAN duly won before flying off to Hong Kong… http://tinyurl.com/yvjwtc. And the Dynamo winning streak continued in the 3rd cat race as ‘RADAR’ RUSS TURNER fought off a terrifying 84 riders in the sprint to take 1st… http://tinyurl.com/ywan7j …as a wince-inducing tumble took place a few feet behind him… http://tinyurl.com/395d9l. Nasty stuff! Some minutes later, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL nabbed 10th in the 50-mile E/1/2 race after his 12-man break’s lead of a minute and a half was whittled down to less than 30 seconds… http://tinyurl.com/ywan7j. Now that’s close!

NOT QUITE SICK AS PARROT
+++ Delahunty misses SERRL payday as Paine fails to chunder +++
The final laps of Guy’s race also saw the ever-determined PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY launch an unsuccessful attempt to bridge across to the break, which was a prelude to his appearance at the super-aggressive Toachim House Grand Prix at Edenbridge, Kent, the following day. Paul’s team-mates TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE and RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS probably realised that the capable Kiwi’s noble aim of bagging the £1,000 top prize had been thwarted when PCA turned up on the starting line with more riders than a full Tour de France team. What an ingenious way of guaranteeing victory! But when Ian got into the seven-man lead group less than halfway into the 75-mile E/1/2/3 race, it was clear that Dynamo’s awesome fivesome wasn’t prepared to let the 11-strong pink-and-blue behemoth have an easy life. At 15th place, Wandsworth wonderman Ian was the highest-placed ‘Mo on the results sheet, and along the way he also got to witness fired-up Rob Hayles in full do-you-want-some mode as he bellowed “C’mon then!” to Gordon McCauley after the PCA man’s umpteenth attack was shut down. You tell him, pal! The fragmented, attack-packed SERRL race ended with Paul destroying his group on the uphill finish to take 17th, while Rich finished almost 1:30 ahead of him in 13th place. Laid-back Tom gifted the last remaining point on offer in the band 2 event as he graciously let Alex Dowsett of 100% ME nip past him for 20th… http://tinyurl.com/3y7tmu …and Dynamo’s quiet man unwittingly gave Tony Gibb a hand sling when the PCA star grabbed hold of his thigh. The flat-track hardman was probably feeling a little tired after all those climbs! Shagged-out Rich admits: “I can’t remember a harder race, to be honest. I lost count of the number of attacks that were started or followed either by myself or another ‘Mo. It was awesome teamwork, but we were in bits at the end. Ian summed it up beautifully: ‘I really want to throw up, but I just can’t.'” What a lovely image to end on!

GETTING BEDDER ALL THE TIME
+++ Dynamettes take on pros in Bedfordshire +++
None of them had taken part in a road race 12 months ago – but after hours of planning, dozens of e-mails and a request by the event organiser to adopt a Rapha Condor rider, a quartet of daring Dynamettes found themselves mingling with the Dutch pros on the starting line for the Women’s International Stage Race at Bedford at the weekend. And one of them ended up bagging a top five place! The rollercoaster journey began with CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN, ANNA GRUNDY, KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF and MELISSA WADAMS following the high pace set by honorary ‘Mette Jane ‘The Killer’ Kilmartin on the team time trial, which led to the quintet quickly becoming a trio. Determined Anna gave her all to stay with elite trialist Jane and Charlie, thereby giving the team the three riders required to complete the stage – and her efforts were rewarded with a time of 14:14 on the 6-mile course. A break for lunch was followed by a 50-mile road stage in Keysoe, which saw two crashes caused by one of the many horse boxes screaming past and a couple of gee gees rearing across the road. What a trotting disgrace! Finally, the ladies arrived at the last hill – and Charlie reveals: “I flew up the front, all the while thinking, ‘This can’t be right.’ But I came 4th! Jane was also in the top 10. Go Dynamettes!” The original field of 90 was significantly reduced the next day after heavy rain visited the Millbrook test circuit, which some may know from the popular motoring programme Top Gear – but revved up Charlie wasn’t going to steer clear of the 53-mile final stage. She says: “I was in a really good position coming into the last lap – and then, just over a mile from home, I crashed going round the slippery final bend. Quel horreur! I jumped back on and pedalled like a banshee to finish, hopefully not too many minutes back from the main field.” Complete results for the race, which have been published since Charlie dropped us a line, reveal that she finished 27th overall among the 72 finishers, while Jane took 19th… http://tinyurl.com/25vrrx. Fantastic result, ladies!

…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ JASON ‘KEEP IT CLEAN’ GREEN takes the No.4 spot at Hillingdon 4th cat event… http://tinyurl.com/2qrm5a +++ WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER 6th at Crystal Palace 3/4 race – his best position yet +++ IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE 4th and SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON 7th at Palace E/1/2 race, which was won by someone called Warrick Spence from a new team called Cyclefit.co.uk… http://tinyurl.com/36pjw7 +++

CONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
We’re contemplating a long, performance-boosting sojourn in Italy, which means that there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent in stuff for this issue before we head to the land of the “attempted” yet contrite blood doper. Always remember we are just one Cornetto, but we would be nothing without you, our crooning gondolier. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a smouldering signorina sails past to nick our creamy treat, it only remains for us to remind you about…