During the traffic stop, the officer smelled "a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from [Smoot's] breath and person," Carll said in the affidavit. "[Smoot's] eyes were red and watery."

Smoot also appeared angry, Carll said in the affidavit. When asked why, Smoot said "he got into it with his girl at the club," according to the affidavit.

Smoot told the Capitol Police officer that he'd had one drink, according to the affidavit, and agreed to a field sobriety test. During a series of tests, Smoot demonstrated "many clues of impairment," including swaying noticeably, Carll said in the affidavit.

Smoot was subsequently arrested and taken to the Capitol Police headquarters at 119 D Street, Northeast, for processing, where he twice refused to take a breathalyzer test.

"During processing, in the service area, while handcuffed, the [defendant] peed his pants creating a puddle on the floor," Carll said in the affidavit. "[A police officer] witnessed the urine running down his pant leg and onto the floor. [Smoot] did not express that he had to use the restroom."

Pretty good, but not good enough, Smoot. You're still forever the double-dragon-dicker.