"Those of you who have been following Angry Metal Guy’s Emporium of Curiosities since its inception may recognize this folk-doom metal band: Silent Stream of Godless Elegy. If you remember, His Overlordiness’ criticisms of their 2011 record, Návaz, regarded in no small part its lack of x-factor. While I only just discovered Silent Stream of Godless Elegy this year, I went back to hear their older records and I would agree; they lacked that intangible quality. Smutnice, however, resonates with me so completely I fear for the structural integrity of my bones." Everflowing Silent Streams.[Give in to your anger...]

"Take a minute to appreciate this album artwork. Not only is it an excellent demonstration of basic design principles, composition and color theory, it also clearly establishes the genre of its artist. In this case, the artist is Master and the genre is death/thrash. Master have been active since 1983 with minimal interruptions and a long roster of ex-drummers and ex-guitarists. Having finally settled on a solid lineup in 2003, Master soldiered on with few changes made to their thrashy death sound. With fourteenth installment Vindictive Miscreant, Master aim to prove they're just as vital as they were in 1983." Who's your Master?[Give in to your anger...]

"As this particular combination of band name and album art has probably deterred the chunk of our visitors who are power metal-phobic, these next words will likely fall on the ears of those who want to hear them least: most power metal is bad. My love affair with the genre will never completely fizzle, but with so many start-ups crutching on knock-off Helloween choruses executed through dreadful vocal performances and robotic rhythm sections, picking out the diamonds in the rough is often a fruitless task." When the eagle doesn't cry.[Give in to your anger...]

"Initially, this review was going to begin with a nutshell description of the current black metal scene. I had a few ideas: how the style is split into two methods of composition (instant gratification versus slow burning atmosphere), how the line between traditional and post-black metal is slowly being blurred, and so on. As I repeatedly drafted and deleted my intro, however, I began to realize that the state of the genre is far too multi-faceted to describe in terms of duality. Besides, you're smart enough to read AMG, so you would have instantly seen through my half-baked thesis." Discerning readers demand flawless scholarship.[Give in to your anger...]

"Well, it's finally here. After months of harassment by many of our more aggressive commenters, my review of the newest Master's Hammer record has arrived." Now leave us alone, you creepers![Give in to your anger...]

"After years of meandering through the comments section as your friendly neighborhood bone-saw (and before as another beloved reader), I've had the pleasure of sparing with many of you, upsetting the tight-ass AMG HR department, and making fun of Diabolus for his bad taste in music. Somewhere in the last couple years, one of you recommended Root to me and forever changed my life." Report to HR to get your life re-changed.[Give in to your anger...]

"As many of us learned from magnets or, for an elite few, Paula Abdul and her weird rapping cartoon cat companion, opposites have the ability to attract if they’re strong enough. As we learned from making friends, joining any voluntary association, or reading Plato’s Timaeus, like knows and seeks out like at a high rate too. And Czech Swedeath merchants Brutally Deceased are going for this principle with their third record, Satanic Corpse." Oh Paula, you came and you found us some Swede-death....[Give in to your anger...]

"We've come a long way from “No Core No Mosh No Trends No Fun” haven't we? Straying incredibly far from Euronymous' proposed attitude for black metal, we now have a record from Root guitarist Blackosh's eponymous solo project about three things that I like: Whores, Booze & Black Metal. Combining good things doesn't always work though; have you ever made a steak, scotch, and hamburger shake? I haven't either, but it would probably be repulsive." But this has whores![Give in to your anger...]

"Hailing from the Czech Republic, Pandemia is a bit like the death metal equivalent of Everybody Loves Raymond; it's been around a while appeared alongside plenty of important things, but you've never met anyone who really knows much about it. Maybe you've run across it once and stuck around for a few minutes, but something else caught your attention pretty quickly." But everybody LOVES Raymond! War metal, maybe not so much these days.[Give in to your anger...]

"Death is perhaps the most interesting subject to me. Though I don’t study it, don’t have any sort of education in it, and don’t have any right to expand on or analyze it, I just find the human intrigue and fear of death fascinating. Some embrace death and live their lives knowing that everything could end today, others accept but fear death, and many avoid discussion of it (and even the thought of it) more than anything else in the world." Want to learn more about death? Then this is the best source since the Mondo Cane videos.[Give in to your anger...]