browser life

rants, raves, laughs and a dedication to awareness about chronic illness and having a life despite it

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Rave of the Day for January 17, 2009:

More goodies from the archives. This travel humor is circa 2003, source unknown....

We all know how misleading the description of hotels and motels can be. So we put together a translation table to help you out... So when you see one of the phrases listed on the left, you will know what it really means by reading the translation on the right!

Old World charm ................ No bath

Tropical ....................... Rainy

Majestic setting ............... A long way from town

Options galore ................. Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway .............. Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms ........... Already occupied

Explore on your own ............ Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before

No extra fees .................. No extras

Nominal fee .................... Outrageous charge

Standard ....................... Sub-standard

Deluxe ......................... Standard

Superior ....................... One free shower cap

Cozy ........................... Small

All the amenities .............. Two free shower caps

Plush .......................... Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes ................. Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy ................. No air conditioning

Picturesque .................... Theme park nearby

Open bar ....................... Free ice cubes

Concierge ...................... Stand with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast .......... Free muffin

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A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"