This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.

Meeting with a financial advisor at Chartway to discuss opening up a Roth IRA account.

Chores.

Banana.

Grilled PB&J. Plantain Chips. Pu-erh Tea.

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

At the Great Neck Rec with Ana. Playing a few heated games of full court basketball. In the second game I knock a few three-pointers and lob off a critical winning shot at the buzzer, a gratifying moment to say the least. I hope to collect a few respect points.

Honey Crisp Apple.

Meeting at the Music Makers storage space to show Elliott the big room we'll be sharing after mid-April. I'm stoked he's on board with it. This will be a much better situation for both of us musically.

Back home. Making a delicious dinner for Ana and I: Tilapia with Butter Wine Sauce, Broccoli, and Roasted Potatoes and Onions. White Wine. Enjoying while we watch the Danish short film, "The Perfect Human" (1967).

Practicing with Ana a little bit in my room. She keeps complaining about her leg hurting and isn't being very cooperative. I can feel myself being a bit harsh when attempting to motivate her. Afterwards, we share affection and understanding.

Waking up around 11 a.m. next to Ana in her bed. We meant to wake up earlier but we needed to catch up on our rest.

I pull out the ancient waffle maker (circa 1950's) and we make Coconut Flour and Egg Waffles. Serving them with fresh cut Papaya and Coffee.

At the storage unit organizing the stuff and assessing more damage from the water that caved in from the ceiling. I already put in my 30 days notice to vacate with the plan to move into a Music Makers rehearsal space later in the month.

Driving with my boss, Cecily, and one of her daughters in a car. I think Cecily is at the wheel. I carefully lay my head on her shoulder in an affectionate way. We pull into a shopping plaza for food. I get excited and tell her about this amazing pizza I had yesterday but I can't remember which restaurant it was from. Most of the stores we see are closed except for two pizza joints. Later on, in the car, I'm at the wheel now. Approaching a boastful middle-aged man with long dirty blonde hair and a goatee.

He shouts out to me in a sarcastic manner, "I'll trade ya for the pizza and the girls!"

I don't really understand what's happening. Maybe I'm making a delivery. Either way, the man grips my hand and challenges me to a wrestling match. A bunch of people surround us. I hold my ground. My strength overpowers his strength surprisingly (he's a bigger dude than me). I pit him in a chokehold and a leg hold on the ground.

Everyone starts chanting, "Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!"

That's my dad's name but it's understood to be my name in the dream. We both rise from the ground and he congratulates me on my win. Upon reflection I mention how my muscles have gotten much stronger than I thought.

It's busy for deliveries after 5 o'clock. Dealing with the usual bullshit. Overcrowded hotels from a high school wrestling convention. People zooming behind bushes. People driving dangerously cautious.

Snacking on Plantain Chips.

It's a late shift tonight. I arrive home after 11:30 p.m. Enjoying Black Beans with Broccoli and Rice.

Finishing Interstellar (2014).

Talking with Ana on the phone I explain, "Everyone's upset cause it's cold today!" She just had a birthday party at her mom's house in Norfolk. She's getting home so late that I won't be able to see her.

Drew from Music Makers shows me a new rehearsal space that's opened up for rent at their rock school facilities. I'm thinking about moving out of the storage unit I have now. This place would be a more convenient location and is climate controlled but I might have to share with somebody I know to afford it.

...

Browsing the CHKD thrift store. Picking up pants from the tailor. Looking into opening a Roth IRA at my credit union.

Toasted PB&J. Lentil Potato Curls. Pu-erh Tea. Banana.

Watching Interstellar (2014).

Researching maca root powder, something I've been consuming everyday in my oatmeal. The most concise information I found in Wikipedia: "Darker-colored maca roots (red, purple, black) contain significant amounts of natural iodine that may avoid the growth of goiters resulting from consumption of the lighter-colored maca. Black maca is considered the strongest in energy and stamina-promoting properties, being both sweet and slightly bitter in taste. Red maca is becoming popular with many people, and has been shown in laboratory experiments to reduce prostate size in rats."

I get called into China Wok for a couple hours. Finding out that Kenny quit (or got fired) cause he just wasn't meshing well with the high levels of stress and urgency the job required, or my bosses just couldn't communicate well with him as is always the issue with new drivers.

Back home. Ana and I dress up a bit and drive over to Otani's for a hibachi grill experience. We could've walked if the weather was nice but it's rainy and cold. She's never had hibachi before so I thought it'd be nice to treat her for her birthday. The chef does the usual spatula and knife tricks across a super heated grill with a bit of humor. There's a lot of fire involved.

Downstairs, sharing Dark Chocolate. Talking about how happy I am that all my plants are growing again and how interesting it is that they just know Spring is here.

Me: "Plants are so mysterious. Out of all the living creatures they're the most secretive. You can't talk communicate with them. All they do is grow or don't grow. And you can't watch them grow. It's when you're not looking that they're active. "

Softly practicing songs on the piano with Ana. We suddenly come up with a minor rendition of "Buddy Holly".

Singing songs on the piano with Ana. We unearth some of the covers we did from a while ago. Then, Ana pulls out the guitar in her bedroom and sings a couple Beatles songs. I work out some harmonies. Pumpkin lies down on his side, like cats do, with his paws spread out looking longingly up at Ana while she sings.

Me: "That's a smitten kitten!"

She gets this big smile on her face whenever she approaches me from behind. She says, "I just wanna..." and then she pinches my butt.

Waking up to Ana's hand caressing my back. I don't remember sleeping next to her – she must have sneaked in here early in the morning. We enjoy a sexual time together. Back to sleep.

☼ ○ ▬

Staying at a big hotel somewhere in a big city, maybe it's London. It's supposed to be a convention for youth. Ana and I are staying in a room together with a million other teenagers as our neighbors in the halls. Something feels strange. I look out the window to discover the whole hotel is in motion in midair moving at a high speed. I watch as we crash into the ground suddenly. The walls rumble and shake. This causes sharp gold metallic triangles to fall from the ceiling everywhere throughout the building. They're quite prickly but don't bother me too much. However that's not the case for others. I run out into the lobby to see a guy being pierced against the wall by the mini triangles. I pull the door shut to stop them from hitting him. I run around in search for Ana but she's nowhere to be found. Some of the other teenage girls next door take notice of me. I run inside to find Ana playing a video game wearing a purple wig alongside three other girls as if she's trying to blend in so I can't find her. I confront and scold her for running off.

Me: "I was looking for you everywhere!"

She was under the assumption that I abandoned her.

Me: "Are you kidding me? I've been searching for you this whole time!"

We lie down on a bench and cuddle for a little bit. But then she accuses me of taking liberties with her body when she doesn't want to have sex. All of this seems out of the ordinary for her. Tristan Stewart is here sitting next to us. She confides in him. I'm angered and start yelling. I throw the computer screen on the ground and turn a coffee table upside down. The whole situation is very stressful.

Waking up somewhere in Georgia. They stop at Waffle House for eats. I grab a couple Hard-Boiled Eggs from the cooler, an Almond Granola Bar, and some Juice. Enjoying a Biscuit from Mamey's and a shitty Coffee.

I've got home on my mind. The road can take it's toll on your stomach, like not eating at your usual times, and eating more than usual because that's what happens when you're on the road; your diet gets tossed and tumbled all around.

Bianca and Ana take control of the front while Josiah and Calum sleep. I catch up on all the writing I didn't get the chance to do from the weekend.

Napping.

Stopping in Fayetteville, North Carolina. We decide to eat dinner at a local BBQ fast food joint equivalent to Popeye's Chicken. I order a Fish Sandwich with French Fries, Collard Greens, and a Sweet Tea. I know the regret my stomach will feel afterwards.

Back on the road. Ana and I take turns driving us back into Virginia Beach. Meanwhile, Josiah takes on the role of a journalist interviewing Calum about his life story. This leads to Bianca explaining her life story. Progression. Moving forward. Educating ourselves. Understanding our "destiny" or the thing that makes us come alive. How exciting it is that we're all doing things with our lives – traveling – seeing new places – discovering who we are.

Finally back home in Virginia Beach. Cleaning out the van before Josiah, Bianca, and Calum take off. It feels like we were gone on tour for a whole month. Ana and I unpack and organize everything. Taking showers – cleaning off our oily faces – washing blankets and clothes. It feels good to be home again.

Heartwarming talks with Ana about how she feels behind on life and what she wants to accomplish. I encourage her and explain that things are just getting started for her. She's never really been on a trip like this so far away from home. I know she enjoyed herself and even entertained the idea of moving to Austin or anywhere really. She's just eager to achieve something bigger in her life. With small steps and dedication to improve there's nothing she can't achieve.

Josh comments on Facebook, "This is one of those pictures you show your kids 20 years down the line, saying 'See, your mom was punk as fuck at one point in time.' And then they ask what decade it was, because this looks like it was taken in '86."

Arriving in New Orleans in a different part of town. We decided to catch the Babes and Wand show, two bands we saw at SXSW and loved so much we just had to see them again. They're playing at Siberia, a dimly lit dive bar that serves Slavic food and Czech beers. Bianca passed around weed cookies beforehand – I consumed about a 1/3 of one since the ¼ didn't cut it for me on Friday. Ana didn't take part cause it doesn't give her good after-feelings. Instead, she gulps down a couple ginger vodka drinks to reach our level of elation. It really kicks in during Babes. We shake and groove and bob our heads in a repetitive state to the psych-punk-prog-rock sounds. The lead singer puts on the same act of white mime makeup on the face, fishnets around the arms, and slowly removing one piece of clothing after each song. He takes on the spirit of Iggy Pop – it's infectious and irresistible. Calum stands guard un-drugged on the bench while Josiah, Bianca, Ana, and I work our face muscles to the max from smiling and laughing so hard. Everything is funny when you're high. And Time slows down. Wand goes on next and it's hit me so strong that I have to sit down to groove otherwise I might be in danger of falling backwards.

After the show we decide it'd be a good idea to scarf our faces with those famous beignets from Café Du Monde. We didn't get the opportunity to eat there a couple days ago because of all the tourists. And this place is open late into the night. Upon arriving at the block when parking the van we get tripped out by this mysterious figure leaning against a fountain structure down in an alley. We all gasp in shock, "Ahhhhh! Oooooooh!" But it's nothing more than a woman statue perched ominously under a light. She's dusted with white powder, which we find out is merely powdered sugar from the café. Josiah wraps his arms around the lady and poses for a photo...

Finally, we sit down at a table inside Café Du Monde and enjoy orders of hot Beignets and water.

Calum and Josiah take the front of the van and drive us through the night. I crash on the floor with Ana continuing to laugh about anything and everything. Josiah still has powdered sugar on the back of his shirt and Ana's face is covered in glitter from the Babes show.

Waking up around 11:30 a.m. in the small room of our "basic house" rented through Airbnb. It's a beautiful morning. We all wake up and keep it chill. Making Irish Oatmeal with Chia Seeds, Strawberries, Maca Powder, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Green Tea.

"It's a morning bowl packed with familiarity," says Ana.

Josiah, Calum, Ana, and I drive up the street to Guadalupe and Lamar and check out The Buffalo Exchange, a second hand clothing store not found anywhere near Virginia.

Checking out Alvvays at the outside stage at Waterloo Records. Instead of actually going inside the cage we use a shopping cart and the curb stops to see the band. The sound is great and so is the view.

Chicken Tacos named after Jimmy Kimmel from Fresa's with Hibiscus-Lemon Agua Frescas.

Back at the "basic house" settling down. Josiah, Calum, and I conduct a stripped down unplugged practice.

We head to the Liberty showcase venue. They're got an outside stage (where we'll be performing) and a really small inside stage and bar. Just like the muddy grounds of Hotel Vegas it's muddy here. There's so much dirt in this city that when it rains mud abounds. Sipping on a few free IPA's from the bar while watching a few good bands before we go on. Ladada goes on. It seems to be well received according to the promoter – a few groups of people grooving to the songs. Despite the minor flubs, lack of good bass tone, and lack of good guitar distortion, I thought the set went swimmingly.

Josiah brought a special wood box full of Ladada/Bamm Bamm business cards with links to the bandcamp but it mysteriously disappeared on the table we had it on. It's the strangest thing. We asked everyone who works there and no luck. Ana and I enjoy some Beet Fries, Jasmine Rice, and Brussel Sprout Salad from the food truck. Brussel sprouts and beets seem to be a popular food item around here.

Walking around. We attempt to wait in line at Hotel Vegas but we decide to just reconvene back at the "basic house". John Flowers and his girlfriend, Jessica, join us. They order a pizza and we consume the beers left in the fridge for us. Goofy wrestling antics ensue after somebody blows up the air mattress. Between John, Josiah, and myself, we act like a bunch of WWF wrestlers or monkeys.

They get Netflix working on the TV and put on The Endless Summer (1966) to calm us down.

Ana and I wake up in the humid van to the sound of woodpeckers tapping on the trees around us, and along with other unfamiliar wildlife sounds of Austin.

Banana.

John and his girlfriend, Jessica, take us to Torchy's Tacos, one of the best taco places in town. Two Egg Tacos with all kinds of good fillings.

Picking up seven yellow $3.99 ponchos from 7-11 to keep us dry as we walk around in the rain. "Adult Poncho" the band is thus formed!

Ana and I split a half of a weed cookie but it doesn't seem to do much for me. We catch the Best Coast show at an outside patio stage, which turns out to be quite a mediocre performance in all our opinions.

Then, the Hotel Vegas stages. We spend the rest of our evening here. It's like a mini music festival inside another music festival. You just walk from one stage to another and check out a new band. My legs get sore from just standing around. But it's crazy how many new bands are out there. SXSW is like an over stimulation of new music.

Babes, a garage punk band from New Orleans, really clicked with us. Right up front with the gang flailing our heads and bumping our bodies into each other. The lead singer chants into the mic with white mime makeup on his face and fishnets. By the end of the set he's without clothes except for one dangly black thong, a highlight of our night.

Almond Granola Bars.

Wand, a prog-psych-punk band from Los Angeles, drains our ears dry on the big stage. Earplugs are being used of course.

More standing and waiting and watching.

Sharing Veggie Burgers with Ana.

Then, the most anticipated band and the last one for the night: Thee Oh Sees.

The crowd is thick with angst from all the waiting. As soon as the band kicks in with their first song a push pit is formed in the middle right underneath a tree. Mud covers everybody's feet and pant legs but nobody cares. They're still jumping off the stage and into the pit of people. Ana explains that it's like a pot of boiling water and everyone is the bubbles. One guy tries to be Tarzan by hanging onto a tree branch for deer life. After the show is over we all feel satisfied. Without a doubt this is the highest of the highlights of SXSW. We could just as easily go home without playing our show tomorrow and be happy.

Back at the "basic house". We settle down and rest up for the next day's activities.