Defining Moment

Monday, October 18, 2010

Well, I've gotten over a small mountain. I was battling the scale not moving, and fighting my old thoughts that plague me whenever that happens. I've come up from the dust and lost another 3lbs. YEA! This made me realize something though. When a person is in the weightloss battle, the scale becomes one of the most important iconic symbols in your life. It is amazing how that little platform seems to make or break you. The funny thing about it is, I can usually think of a logical explanation for my triumphs and failures. But I could not, for the life of me, think of anyway of getting around that feeling of anxiety that comes with each weigh in. Is this really something that is going to control me? I guess it is, and I really think I'm okay with that. I guess I shouldn't look at it as a negative thing, like punishment when I do wrong, or not enough. Nor should I look at it as a reason to celebrate by allowing myself to have something I know I shouldn't just because I had a good number. I am going to look at it as a way to just keep myself on track. A measurment of my faithfulness to myself, and if the number is not what I want it to be, then I know what I need to do, and punish myself is not an option. More like, rearrange things, recognize things, and know how to prepare for the next time. Good times!