I am going to decide who wins the best joke. However, you might be able to help me out anyways. Please don't vote for your own. (Two people sent in the same joke)

Your momma is so fat......

when she steps on the scale, it says 'one at a time please' when she is in bed with your dad and he wants to kiss her, he has to push down on her stomach and ride the third wave to the top." when she wears a Malcolm X shirt, helicopters land on her back I had to take 2 trains and a bus just to get on her good side. she’s got more chins than a Chinese phone bookyou have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through ' she got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack”a blind dude pointed at her and said “DAMN that ***** is FAT” when she sits around the house - she sits a-r-o-u-n-d the house' t I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing