DH has been working long hours 6 days a week to try and get enough money together to send my folks back to SA. I am finding that my patience is being stretched very thin indeed with my folks. They are dragging their heels big time and I am feeling very frustrated. It is like trying to toss a ten ton millstone while it is firmly stuck in very deep mud. I honestly am at the point of wanting to tear my hair out. They have no thought for long term results of their actions, of the fact that my Dad's health is a bit of a time bomb, of the fact that every day they stay here increases the chances of a health related emergency, no thought of the fact that we have to pay more to support them the longer they dawdle here and feel sorry for themselves. Sorry, I am just venting and if you don't like it - don't read it. I am to the point of being ready to CELEBRATE when they leave - I'll get 'round to being sad later! They complain all the time of how tired they are and yet they will not quit doing all the volunteer work at the church or the janitorial work they have been doing to bring in a little income. I even sent them money to cover what they would usually make doing the janitorial work - nope, still won't quit. But, then in the next breath they refuse to do things to prepare to leave because they are too tired or busy. Honestly, I am beyond knowing what to do, except to wait for them to come to their senses. There is nothing else I can do - I can't apply for their travel documents for them, I can only try to encourage them to make reasonable choices. But it seems like whatever I say they will do the opposite. Sometimes I wonder if I told them the opposite of what they should do, if they would then do what is needed. Like two rebellious and naughty brats - my young kids are better behaved and nicer than my parents. I love my parents, but I have a really hard time liking them at the moment.

I can totally relate to where you are coming from regarding your parents. My own mother whom I love dearly fell and broke her arm a few years ago and ended up in the ICU with blood pressure and cardiac problems. She behaved so badly towards the nurses that I was both humiliated and horrified. After all, I work in a hospital myself and can't help but take these things personally. She said the most awful things to them - said she hoped they would die, made fun of them for being overweight. The weird thing is that is completely unlike her. She is NEVER rude like that, never. I thought it was the medication, but months later when she was all mended she was talking and laughing about how nasty she was to the nurses. That is something I just have to put out of my mind. And she was horrible when she came home and we were trying to take care of her, completely uncooperative and wanted everything to be like it was when she didn't have a broken arm and a heart ailment. To an extent that is understandable, but it was over the top. We adore our parents, but they often behave in ways we find almost impossible to deal with. BTW, if I ever spoke to anyone the way she did to the nurses she would, to this day, wash my mouth out with soap.

Aaaah Siobhan, we'll help you out with the soap mouth wash - you can do the same for me! I worked in ICU for years and dealt with a lot of nasty situations with people who seemed to think that us nurses were just fine with being treated like a pile of manure! I had similar stuff with my dad when he had his bypass surgery many years ago - though he was not nasty to the nurses in the hospital, just rude to me.

Trying to take deep breaths and let the stress go. I am struggling with esophageal discomfort again and I think it is now tied in with the stress. My gut is in a knot all day long at the moment. Today I am going to have to do some intentional relaxing ... I could not get to sleep last night, feeling reflux, heart pounding and mind racing. Ridiculous! We got the kids a pool to play in - they had SO much fun yesterday and while it is not that big it is enough that they are making strides in learning how to swim and their confidence is soaring They are so cute and so much fun to watch. Today I am going to hang out in and next to the pool with them. My skin is so much better since I have been taking all these supplements and I am not burning like I was. There is nothing like playing in water and soaking in sunshine to help with stress. I may even take the kids to the river for water and sunshine time.... And then this afternoon I think I am going to take some time to do some rock painting - another stress reliever.

Yesterday was not a good day, I ate all day and had reflux all day. I know I was trying to self medicate (very unsuccessfully too)
I woke up feeling fine this morning but I am already feeling the reflux thing and I have only had some water with my thyroid med. I wish I could just turn off the stress reaction - I am not doing well with dealing with it.

Candy, thanks for the thought... because of the situation I don't feel that I can do that. However once they are back in SA they are getting allocated a certain amount and there will be no extras. If they spend it all too quickly they will have to wait for the next month or (gasp) get a job of some kind. My youngest brother is getting stuff set up so that they will get an allowance rather than have free access to their money. That way their bills get paid and, hopefully, they figure out how to spread out the rest of the money over a month. My brother says that they deal with a lot of old folks who are terrible with money and the business takes care of their money in a way that they can't just blow the lot and then cry for more.

You know the other thing that is tough is the multiple phone calls - I can be doing ok and then get the calls that just send the stress levels up at top speed. I think I am going to be 'out of cell service' for part of the day. In fact maybe I should head up the canyon with the kids then I really am and don't even hear the phone ringing. Cell phones are such wonderful tools but sometimes they can be hard to turn off or ignore!

So today I decided to ignore my phone and really focus on relaxing and de-stressing. After about an hour of reflux this morning my attempts to relax a bit seemed to really help and I haven't had another bout of it today. I deliberately ignored my phone except for my honey's calls. I spent quite some time outside watering and weeding and then spent time reading a book. I had to do some deep breathing at times through the day, (which does help) and the kids and I went to the river for a while too and got myself in the water! Hard to worry about anything when you are getting your hiney frozen off! (snow melt!! Brrr!) Lol. I picked up a few nice rocks for painting and then warmed up carnitas for dinner Happy family and happy tummy. The kids are exhausted! They are going to sleep so well tonight. They spent many hours today playing in the pool - they both have a touch of sun, but the astaxanthin seems to helping protect them from sunburn. DD has very sensitive skin - like mine, and yet she has just a touch of pink whereas before she would be been burned. Both my kids are blond and blue eyed and I have always had to be careful about how much sun they get. However, I can see that they are both going to get really brown instead this year. And even though I am still really overweight, I am going to go out there with them tomorrow and get some rays too DH is home tomorrow morning so we can have some family fun together in the pool.

I called my mom back this evening and (miracle of miracles) the SA embassy called her asking why they are wanting Emergency Travel Documents when they have already applied for regular passports. So after explaining to the lady she proceeded to be very helpful and has told them exactly what they need to do. AND, this is a biggie, she said that she needs their itinerary before she can issue the document! So I immediately went online and found VERY cheap tickets (well over $200 less, per ticket, than the cheapest flights I had found previously) and there were only two seat left. I booked them right away!!! So my folks are due to depart on the 24th August! Phew, this is a huge relief ... and they don't even need a doctor's letter, they just need to write a cover letter explaining the situation and they should be good to go. It is much simplified process than even the one detailed on the Embassy website so this is a huge relief. Of course my mom wanted to leave at the end of August, but I could not turn down those kinds of savings especially considering the myriad other expenses that will be accrued over the next 6 weeks! We'll be paying to rent a place in SA for them as well as buying them a vehicle etc. etc. And I am only mentioning that because it seems so overwhelming at times to think of all that has to come together!! The very cool upside to all this is that the kids and I will fly out to spend time with the folks and get their stuff all organized, and we will get to see all our dear friends again after two and half years .... awesome! And it is only 4 1/2 weeks until the folks are on their way and it will be the end of a lot of stress. Maybe then I can get on top of my health issues and also get to a healthy weight ... I know that it is up to me, I have just not been able to get a good handle on dealing with the stress and it feels that this might be very helpful.

I was reading some very interesting stuff about Achilles tendonitis today and was intrigued by the statement that prolonged emotional stress can precipitate muscle injuries and lower legs are a very common area where that is felt! I have wondered for a long time what I could have possibly done to injure my Achilles as I could not recall doing anything that seemed a potential cause. It totally makes sense that it is stress related - I am not an athlete that is over exercising but I have had chronic stress. (About 8 years worth!) I am going to start doing trigger point work on my calves and I am really hoping that I will see healing in my tendonitis. It would make it so much easier to exercise if I wasn't hobbled by that issue. Since taking the supplements the naturopath prescribed for me I have noticed an improvement (and a couple of those supplements are to address my cortisol levels and possible adrenal fatigue) Feels as though the puzzle pieces are starting to come together.

That is such good news, Coll! Your efforts are paying off and it will all be for the best. You are so devoted to your family, and you are such a good person. I don't know why I say this, but I can't help but feel your parents will actually be happier in SA. When they get there, they will realize they have missed being there.

Prolonged emotional stress takes a terrible toll on the body - we are not wired for prolonged stressful situations. We are really good at short stressful situations! I have really noticed this since I entered a healthcare profession and began working in an acute care hospital and ED. When we have accidents or other acute problems, it is almost exhilarating. Don't misunderstand, I do not want bad things to happen to people. But if it does, it is good to be able to come to a hospital and get taken care of. We do what we can and send them on to receive more advanced care, surgery, etc., and we all feel about ten feet tall afterwards. That intense pressure that has a definite end is really quite healthy. I always go back to more mundane work feeling focused and refreshed. But when I go for long periods of time dealing with chronic situations that have no real resolution I get down very fast.

Well, this is all appropos of nothing, so I will just say have a great day in the pool with the kiddos!

Siobhan, thank you so much for your kind words - making me misty eyed here. I really think you are right in that my folks are going to be very happy once they are settled in again. In fact my mom mentioned on FB today that she is looking forward to going home ....

I have some sticker shock today even though we have been saving for this day. Folks tickets to SA, 4 one ways to SC for the rest of us! And then some lost work on DH's side because of days off and packing up and travelling across country to get home again. We are hoping to get to the beach too for a day trip since we'll be so close ... who knows when we'll get to the beach again. Colorado isn't exactly close to any beaches

My tendonitis is flared up today after walking around in the river and all the strain of walking on all those slippery and awkward sized rocks. I guess I overworked the poor thing and then I have been on my feet all day. Foraging this morning, much cleaning in the kitchen, made Brazilian cheese bread, strained my next liqueur (what an amazing flavor! Really complex), cooked dinner, cleaned the dishwasher (partially, will need to finish tomorrow) as it has been reeking like nobodies business!!! Did chores outside and of course laundry and tidying etc. We got to eat our first beets from the garden - so delectable and tender! And I started a batch of beet kvass which I have not made since SC. Looking forward to that being ready! Yum. And as soon as DH is done reading the kids their night time story we'll strain the fruit salad liqueur and get that mixed with honey and maturing. I have a cardboard box in our en suite shower, which is where we mature our wines and meads The shower is not really usable and so we just use it to store our booze. Lol. I have not been able to get to sleep very quickly at night so I am going to try going to bed even earlier tonight in the hopes that I can get a good night under my belt.

Yay for getting the folks off to South Africa! (The 24th sounds like the end of August to me!) And interesting about the stress and lower leg stuff. I had my Achilles flare up for no good reason that I could see. Makes me wonder.