I made a list almost a decade ago. And now I am going to attend to that list, one item at a time, until I conquer it and all of its implications on my life and the surrounding world as I perceive it...unless I grow bored of it before then; in which case, it will be just another crumpled idea left to litter the antigravity of cyberspace.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Hypocrisy. The one ingredient that we all use with varying degrees of regularity and quantity, yet it remains the one ingredient that we all vehemently deny adding to our days. This may very well be the hardest blog - as dictated by my decade old "list" - to digest, because its subject matter is as widespread as the pandemic of justinbieberitis, yet far less recognized and diagnosed by all who suffer from it (and if you believe that you are the only person on earth that has not ever been a hypocrite, I would venture to say that you also plan to deny - to your death - how grotesquely catchy that damn Bieber can be). Look, we have our beliefs, and we have our habits; we have our morals, and we have our practices; we have what we show to the world around us, and we have the rest of ourselves. They simply do not always match and mesh. Plainly put: it is one of those (many) less appealing aspects of the human condition, and the sooner we come to terms with it and accept it, the sooner we can all begin looking inward for symptoms and related cures, rather than projecting the contagion of reflected self-battery onto the emotional immune systems of everyone we meet. The best we can hope for is awareness of our contradictory practices - whether they be few or abundant - and the courage to step outside of them so that - as often as possible - we can allow ourselves to believe what we say, say what we believe, and act accordingly, despite the putrid scent of judgement that may be wafting off of the people around us. **end general thoughts about hypocrisy and its practitioners**SIDE NOTE: There's another annoying aspect of the human condition that plagues us all: imperfection. And, it is this horrible, awful, disgusting, terrible, deplorable imperfection that pushes us to contradict ourselves in mind, in heart, in belief...in life. No matter what one's opinion may be about God and/or what may or may not come "next," one thing remains constant from one human to the next: our imperfection: the absolute beauty of our imperfection; and once we can wrap our arms around it with pride, the hypocrisy will stop. Why? Because there will be no need to contradict our faulty truths once we have paraded them around. There will be no need to believe one thing, yet practice another. What is hypocrisy if not a cloak behind which to hide the bits and pieces of ourselves that we are too abashedly timid to show the world? What is a hypocrite if not a lowly street magician trying to hide his Heart behind the Ace? We are all walking contradictions to our very own self-illusions brought about by the imperfection of humanity; and for that reason, we continue to move with contrasting strides against the truest version of ourselves: that which extends to the Perfection beyond human existence.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Oh Boy. Lovers. A messy ingredient with such sweet and sour complexity. This is an ingredient to be used sparingly, always with careful measure. But alas, it almost never is because the elation that heats up the lovers' bodies quickly evaporates any condensation of logical sense that they may have once had. Yet, to the brand new lover, the sudden change of life motion brought about an overload of raw endorphins is nothing but an unplanned and unplotted detour (that even map quest cannot overcome) on the road through reality. To the lover, this new route is scenic, breathtaking. They don't see the world's edge up ahead, because they are blinded by the steamy hormonal onset of new "love." Dumbasses.
And haven't we all participated in our fair share of such absurdity? Aren't we all aware of that feeling of fluffy cloud-surfing that accompanies new lovers everywhere they go? And don't we also know - every single one of us - that the blood pumping through the veins of the new lover might as well be a Class A narcotic at the top of the DEA's list of dangerous and highly addictive drugs? Oh, yes. We all know what the field of roses looks like as we twirl and arabesque through it with our lover beside us, blushing and laughing as the sun shines so perfectly on his gleaming lips or her flowing hair. Sadly, so blinded are we by the toxic levels of temporary elation that we don't notice the thorns as they rip and tear at us, nor do we take note of the approaching storm clouds in the distance, just beyond the cliff's edge (that we also conveniently do not see). Even after we find ourselves laying cartoon-like at the bottom of the cliff with our hearts flattened by an anvil, we know deep down inside that we will seek out that blind elation again...just as soon as a blue and purple bird with a ridiculously exaggerated neck comes along and pumps our hearts back up to full capacity, we will be back on the hunt for another lover, like a junkie fresh out of "recovery" that only went to rehab in the first place because they were forced into it by the cruel intervention of reality.
Please do not misunderstand. I don't mean to imply that every love affair is doomed to crushing, life-altering failure. Of course, neither am I using the word or concept of "lovers" to be synonymous with Love, itself. While Love has within it the tantalizing aroma of the lover, the lover does not necessarily -rarely, in fact- get to hold Love in her clumsy hands. To tell the tale any other way would be a chapter out of a fool's book, and anyone that says otherwise is likely a practicing lover in this moment, OR he had a part in the publishing of said book, no doubt insisting on entitling it something that insinuates orgasmic promises of "true love." Something like: "Finding Your Soul-Mate in Five Minutes or Less for Dummies...and Also, Excellent Rhubarb Pie Recipes." But, I digress. Or do I? No. No, I don't think so; in fact, I think it's of utmost importance to distinguish the beauty and longevity of Love from the theatrical dumb-assery that always wants the lead part with the longest and loudest monologue from the Lovers' Script.
Love is a truth that some lovers might have the strength to survive when the picturesque sunny and breezy days of flower-hopping suddenly turn to cold, still nights of wading through one another's deepest swamp water of imperfections, fears, and ugly habits; and even still, each one maintains the ability to see the promise of fertile land lying beyond the dilapidated slats that fence in and limit the other's self-growth and potential. When one person is willing to part with bits of her own building materials for no other reason than to extend the perimeter of happiness for someone else...that is Love. And eventually, Love requires but a single gate to a single shared spread of frolic-worthy property (the value of which not even this economy could diminish), and though the swamplands may remain in parts, they are accepted with compassion - even if not fully understood. And as the years pass, Love has a miraculous way of drying up the murky waters altogether.
So, though the world -and this very blog- may mock those who fondle life and each other under the influence of loverdome, the truth is that Love springs from the Lover, and through all the trickery and inertia of pheromones, there is always the chance that Love, real Love, is awaiting us at the edge of the lovers' reality. And ultimately, just the mere possibility of discovering Love and letting it transform us is worth every fall we might have to take to find it. We might display drooling stupidity in our eager search for Love, but when (and if) the search ends and we find that we have found the holy grail of humanity, we will recognize it not by the flow of passion and alluring mystery; rather we will know it, beyond doubt, by the willing exertion of the courage and selflessness it takes to keep it.

Monday, February 6, 2012

I must interrupt my List to discuss - for a moment - another list. Bloggers of the nation (and the world, i suppose...at least regions that share in the same phonetical practices) will be participating in the A to Z challenge during the month of April 2011. Basically, everyday of April will be assigned a letter of the A-Z alphabet, and the blogger will then be challenged to write a coordinating blog on any given alphabetical day. The blogger is expected to participate daily (or almost daily if life should get in the way as it so often does). The challenge seems to be designed to give that extra push of ambition that many bloggers/writers need, because let's face it: a true writer tends to be lazy w/ her craft, because just as a hunk of clay needs talented hands to sculpt it, a writer's words need the same gentle handling and they certainly do not string themselves together like magical beads. So,without proper inspiration, it is easy to become listless about treating the written word like the art it truly is, and if the artist simply wanted to render a literary mess, it would be a direct contradiction to his title.
ANYWAY, here it is: another list to push me (and other bloggers/writers) to transmutate lazy ambition into something with (personal) meaning, and maybe -if we're lucky- we will provoke thought, laughter, reflection, and hope in the minds and lives of others. So, I will be participating in the A to Z challenge...with bells on. I hope any one that happens to stop by my "basement" will click on the cute little icon to the left and sign up, too. Challenging ourselves: part of our earthly mission, right? Who knows, really, but it sounds cool to say.
BUT fear not my faithful readers (all seven of you), I will also attempt to maintain care and attention of my own List that spurred my blog-site to begin with. I am truly enjoying working my way through my List of "ingredients," and I hope others are enjoying it as well. Having said that, I must end this intermission blog and get back to "Ingredient 4: Lovers," which seems to be taking on an entirely different tone than the ones preceding it, so stay tuned and -whether reading or writing- happy blogging!

People with Superior Taste

Like my FB page & feel good about a very charitable act: ensuring that my greatness goes viral.

Follow by Email

Follow this blog with bloglovin

A Blog Award! Yay me!

I am the proud recipient of the most prestigious (did I spell that right?) Liebster Blog Award! This confirms what I have suspected for quite some time now: I am awesome, bitchez! Thanks for the props. Much Love.

Inspiring Blogger Award

I LOVE blog awards! They validate me in a way that they shouldn't, but I am needy and insecure, so THANK YOU!!

Blog Award w/ a Really Long Name, But Probably Not as Long as This; No, Def Not as Long as This.

Try to keep this on the downlow, but word has it that this blog award was named after me! I am so honored.

Someone Finally Created a Blog Award That Doesn't Require a Bunch of Writing or One of My Ovaries

I am a mama (greatest thing I've ever done); I am a blogger (not to brag, but I'm pretty sure I'll have triple digit followers in a couple of years...BOOM!); and I am beautiful. So, this award f*cking NAILED it!! Word.

About Me

More often than not, I am under the influence of insomnia. Most of the things I am too lazy to write about (til now) come from the disembodied voices that float freely around my bedroom in the very early morning hours. Yep. While the rest of the world sleeps, I am negotiating terms with the trapsing trolls that stomp noisily to and fro across the bridge that connects my conscious mind to the scary depths of the sub-conscious world of dreams and nightmares. Sometimes I am able to out-smart them; sometimes not. Sometimes I get halfway across that damn precarious bridge and stop, just hovering above the chasm of akashic knowledge, waiting to catch the random bits of imprint and cryptic alphabet that might float up to me. Now, with the ambition of a newly inspired blogger, I will try to assemble the randomness, and I may actually write...something.