“Bespoke porn” is the latest craze: dream up a porn fantasy and pay professionals to film it. Leo Daedalus tried to come up with some that have not already been done. It’s harder than you think. Because, Rule 34.

“Customs – bespoke porn – is a new growth industry in the Valley. In houses all around us, teams of professional porn-makers are staying afloat by conjuring into life entire films for just one viewer.”