Obama Cites Scripture In Explaining Plan to Meet With Illegal He Intends to Legalize

President Barack Obama said in a primetime address to the nation last night that he will travel to Las Vegas today and meet with an illegal alien whom he intends, unilaterally, to allow to stay in the United States in violation of the nations immigration laws.

In explaining why he thinks this is the right thing to do, Obama cited an unspecified passage of “Scripture.”

“Tomorrow, I’ll travel to Las Vegas and meet with some of these students, including a young woman named Astrid Silva,” said Obama. ”

Astrid was brought to America when she was four years old,” Obama said. “Her only possessions were a cross, her doll, and the frilly dress she had on. When she started school, she didn’t speak any English. She caught up to other kids by reading newspapers and watching PBS, and she became a good student. Her father worked in landscaping. Her mom cleaned other people’s homes. They wouldn’t let Astrid apply to a technology magnet school, not because they didn’t love her, but because they were afraid the paperwork would out her as an undocumented immigrant–so she applied behind their back and got in.

“Still,” said Obama, “she mostly lived in the shadows–until her grandmother, who visited every year from Mexico, passed away, and she couldn’t travel to the funeral without risk of being found out and deported. It was around that time she decided to begin advocating for herself and others like her, and today, Astrid Silva is a college student working on her third degree.