FOX Broadcasting
When Fox announced that they were dropping the standard pilot-season model of developing new TV shows; it earned them a great deal of attention from fans and critics. So when they unveiled their Fall 2014-2015 schedule, everyone's focus went straight to the slate of new shows premiering in the next few months — after all, they have to be good if Fox is willing to gamble on a brand new way of doing things. In certain cases, it seems like the gamble might just have paid off — you can't go wrong with Batman or British remakes, right? - but others seem like they'll only rub salt in the wound of recent cancellations.
We've run down all of Fox's upcoming series in order to predict which ones will live up to the hype and be worth your time come fall. Although sadly, none of them seem likely to fill the Enlisted-shaped hole in our hearts.
Gotham What It Is: DramaWhat It's About: Following Det. Jim Gordon and the Gotham City Police Department as they deal with the crime and corruption that plagues the city, and Gordon attempts to find Who's In It: Ben McKenzie, Donal Logue, Sean Pertwee and Jada Pinkett-SmithWhat It Sounds Like: It's basically Batman, minus Batman himself. How Good Will It Be: Based on the first trailer for the show, it looks like it could be exciting and gritty, although tiny Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle do make us a bit wary. Still, it's got a talented cast on board, so if the show can keep the visuals and story interesting, it could be surprisingly good. How Long It Will Last: At least two seasons. Fox has thrown a lot of support behind Gotham, so they won't let it go easily.
UtopiaWhat It Is: Reality showWhat It's About: 15 people move to an isolated, undeveloped location for a year and attempt to build their own society from scratch. Who's In It: No word yet, but they have to be crazy if they're willing to sign up for this. What It Sounds Like: Big Brother meets Survivor, with a dash of Kid Nation. How Good Will It Be: It depends entirely on the cast, but our best bet is that it will either be outright terrible, or horrifically entertaining. How Long It Will Last: Unfortunately, it will probably run for ten years.
Red Band SocietyWhat It Is: Drama What It's About: A coming-of-age story set in the pediatric ward of a hospital that follows a group of patients as they grow, bond, and battle illnesses. Who's In It: Octavia Spencer, Griffin Gluck, Charlie Rowe, Dave Annable, Brian Bradley aka Astro, Ciara Bravo and Zoe LevinWhat It Sounds Like: One Tree Hill meets Grey's Anatomy, except only one person is in a coma. How Good Will It Be: Spencer is generally the best part of everything she does, but even she might not be enough to make the many elements of this show — comedy, drama, tear-jerking moments of triumph, general teenage drama, hospital administration — blend well together. How Long It Will Last: About a season. Even if it is good, it will probably struggle to find an audience.
GracepointWhat It Is: Drama What It's About: Based on the British series Broadchurch, it centers on a small town and the murder that upends the lives of all of its residents. Who's In It: David Tennant, Anna Gunn, Michael Peña, Jacki Weaver, Kevin Zegers and Jessica LucasWhat It Sounds Like: It's literally just Broadchurch with Tennant doing an American accent. How Good Will It Be: A lot depends on how much they take from the original, but since that was such a good series and they've got a fantastic cast on board, things look good for Gracepoint. How Long It Will Last: At least three seasons, regardless of how closely it hews to the original.
Backstrom What It Is: Drama What It's About: A crime procedural about an obnoxious and offensive, but brilliant detective who is brought back from exile to run the special crimes unit. Who's In It: Rainn Wilson, Dennis Haysbert, Thomas Dekker, Beatrice Rosen and Kristoffer PolahaWhat It Sounds Like: Every other "rogue cop" procedural that's hit the air in the last few year, but with Dwight from The OfficeHow Good Will It Be: It has a pretty decent cast, but the premise is something we've seen before many times, with varying levels of success, so there's a lot against it. A lot is riding on Wilson, although it's his first real foray into drama, which also doesn't bode well. How Long It Will Last: Like almost every other crime procedural premiering this fall, it will probably be canceled within the year.
Mulaney What It Is: SitcomWhat It's About: An aspiring stand-up comic gets a job writing jokes for a narcissistic comedian and game show host, which causes conflict between him and his two best friends and roommates. Who's In It: John Mulaney, Martin Short, Nasim Pedrad, Seaton Smith and Elliott GouldWhat It Sounds Like: Seinfeld meets New Girl, with a touch of 30 Rock How Good Will It Be: The cast is fantastic, but multi-cam sitcoms can be pretty hit or miss, and this one was dropped by NBC and then reworked before FOX picks it up. However, the combination of SNL alums and comic legends means this one will probably be one of your new favorite shows. How Long It Will Last: Sunday night at 9:30 is a tough slot, but we think this one will scrape its way to a second season.
FOX Broadcasting
EmpireWhat It Is: Drama What It's About: It follows Lucious Lyon, the head of a major hip hop record label and the ex-wife and family who are competing to take over the family business. Who's In It: Terrence Howard, Taraji P. Henson, Gabourey Sidibe, Bryshere Gray, Jussie Smollett, Trai Byers and Kaitlin DoubledayWhat It Sounds Like: Hustle and Flow meets Nashville How Good Will It Be: Empire has a lot of big-name talent behind it - in addition to the Oscar-nominated cast, it was created by Lee Daniels and written by Danny Strong — but it seems like the kind of show that would fare better on cable, so it might end up being a little lackluster. How Long It Will Last: Well, Nashville got three seasons, so we're predicting Empire will get the same.
Hieroglyph What It Is: Drama What It's About: After he gets caught stealing a magic scroll, a thief is brought to work for the Pharaoh, only to discover that court might be more dangerous than prison. Who's In It: Max Brown, Reece Ritchie, Condola Rashad, Caroline Ford and John Rhys-DaviesWhat It Sounds Like: Game of Thrones meets Sleepy Hollow, set in Ancient Egypt. How Good Will It Be: It's written by Travis Beacham, who wrote Pacific Rim, so it could turn out to be entertaining and campy. However, it's completely ridiculous-sounding, so the odds are against it. How Long It Will Last: Unless it manages to pull in a devoted audience like Sleepy Hollow, probably only one season.
Wayward Pines What It Is: Drama What It's About: An idyllic American town... that you can never leave. Who's In It: Matt Dillon, Carla Gugino, Melissa Leo, Tobey Jones, Juliette Lewis and Terrence HowardWhat It Sounds Like: The Stepford Wives meets The Twilight Zone How Good Will It Be: On the one hand, it's got an impressive A-List cast. On the other, it's executive-produced by M. Night Shamylan, so we're hoping it will be good, but expecting it to be terrible. How Long It Will Last: The Shamylan outrage will bring attention to it, resulting in it just barely earning a second season.
Bordertown What It Is: Animated sitcomWhat It's About: Set on a town that borders the US and Mexico, it follows two families as they navigate life, relationships and politics. Who's In It: Alex Borstein, Nicholas Gonzalez, Judah Friedlander, Missi Pyle and Efren RamirezWhat It Sounds Like: American Dad meets The Cleveland ShowHow Good Will It Be: The last time Seth MacFarlane made a show about racial and family dynamics, we got Dads, so we're not optimistic. How Long It Will Last: 5 years at a minimum
Last Man on Earth What It Is: SitcomWhat It's About: After an apocalypse wipes out all of humanity except one man, he wanders the earth looking for other survivors. Who's In It: Will ForteWhat It Sounds Like: Zombieland, minus the other peopleHow Good Will It Be: Forte is hilarious, and his recent dramatic turn in Nebraska will probably serve him well, but it's hard to see how this concept will last longer than one episode. How Long It Will Last: It's a quirky comedy from an SNL alum that isn't Amy Poehler, Tina Fey or Jimmy Fallon. It'll get a year if we're lucky.
Weird LonersWhat It Is: SitcomWhat It's About: Four relationship-phobic weirdoes find each other living next door to one another in a New York apartment. Who's In It: Becky Newton, Zachary Knighton, Nate Torrence and Meera KhumbhaniWhat It Sounds Like: New Girl meets Happy Endings, minus Damon Wayans Jr. How Good Will It Be: The cast is made up of actors who have primarily played the "best friend" role in comedies, so it could be the showcase they need to establish themselves as leading actors. However, the premise seems like a re-tread of most post-Friends comedies, with some forced "quirk," so we don't see things going well. How Long It Will Last: Three out of four actors were on shows that were cancelled relatively soon, so we'd be surprised if this one made it to a second season.
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Summit via Everett Collection
You can imagine that Renny Harlin, director and one quadrant of the writing team for The Legend of Hercules, began his pitch as such: We'll start with a war, because lots of these things start with wars. It feels like this was the principal maxim behind a good deal of the creative choices in this latest update of the Ancient Greek myth. There are always horse riding scenes. There are generally arena battles. There are CGI lions, when you can afford 'em. Oh, and you've got to have a romantic couple canoodling at the base of a waterfall. Weaving them all together cohesively would be a waste of time — just let the common threads take form in a remarkably shouldered Kellan Lutz and action sequences that transubstantiate abjectly to and fro slow-motion.
But pervading through Lutz's shirtless smirks and accent continuity that calls envy from Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland performance is the obtrusive lack of thought that went into this picture. A proverbial grab bag of "the basics" of the classic epic genre, The Legend of Hercules boasts familiarity over originality. So much so that the filmmakers didn't stop at Hercules mythology... they barely started with it, in fact. There's more Jesus Christ in the character than there is the Ancient Greek demigod, with no lack of Gladiator to keep things moreover relevant. But even more outrageous than the void of imagination in the construct of Hercules' world is its script — a piece so comically dim, thin, and idiotic that you will laugh. So we can't exactly say this is a totally joyless time at the movies.
Summit via Everett Collection
Surrounding Hercules, a character whose arc takes him from being a nice enough strong dude to a nice enough strong dude who kills people and finally owns up to his fate — "Okay, fine, yes, I guess I'm a god" — are a legion of characters whose makeup and motivations are instituted in their opening scenes and never change thereafter. His de facto stepdad, the teeth-baring King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), despises the boy for being a living tribute to his supernatural cuckolding; his half-brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) is the archetypical scheming, neutered, jealous brother figure right down to the facial scar. The dialogue this family of mongoloids tosses around is stunningly brainless, ditto their character beats. Hercules can't understand how a mystical stranger knows his identity, even though he just moments ago exited a packed coliseum chanting his name. Iphicles defies villainy and menace when he threatens his betrothed Hebe (Gaia Weiss), long in love with Hercules, with the terrible fate of "accepting [him] and loving [their] children equally!" And the dad... jeez, that guy must really be proud of his teeth.
With no artistic feat successfully accomplished (or even braved, really) by this movie, we can at the very least call it inoffensive. There is nothing in The Legend of Hercules with which to take issue beyond its dismal intellect, and in a genre especially prone to regressive activity, this is a noteworthy triumph. But you might not have enough energy by the end to award The Legend of Hercules with this superlative. Either because you'll have laughed yourself into a coma at the film's idiocy, or because you'll have lost all strength trying to fend it off.
1/5
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After Dark Films
It seems a bit odd to take on a movie review of Courtney Solomon's Getaway, as only in the loosest terms is Getaway actually a movie. We begin without questions — other than a vague and frustrating "What the hell is going on?" — and end without answers, watching Ethan Hawke drive his car into things (and people) for the hour and a half in between. We learn very little along the way, probed to engage in the mystery of the journey. But we don't, because there's no reason to.
There's not a single reason to wonder about any of the things that happen to Hawke's former racecar driver/reformed criminal — forced to carry out a series of felonious commands by a mysterious stranger who is holding his wife hostage — because there doesn't seem to be a single ounce of thought poured into him beyond what he see. We learn, via exposition delivered by him to gun-toting computer whiz Selena Gomez, that he "did some bad things" before meeting the love of his life and deciding to put that all behind him. Then, we stop learning. We stop thinking. We start crashing into police cars and Christmas trees and power plants.
Why is Selena Gomez along for the ride? Well, the beginnings of her involvement are defensible: Hawke is carrying out his slew of vehicular crimes in a stolen car. It's her car. And she's on a rampage to get it back. But unaware of what she's getting herself into, Gomez confronts an idling Hawke with a gun, is yanked into the automobile, and forced to sit shotgun while the rest of the driver's "assignments" are carried out. But her willingness to stick by Hawke after hearing his story is ludicrous. Their immediate bickering falls closer to catty sexual tension than it does to genuine derision and fear (you know, the sort of feelings you'd have for someone who held you up or forced you into accessorizing a buffet of life-threatening crimes).
After Dark Films
The "gradual" reversal of their relationship is treated like something we should root for. But with so little meat packed into either character, the interwoven scenes of Hawke and Gomez warming up to each other and becoming a team in the quest to save the former's wife serve more than anything else as a breather from all the grotesque, impatient, deliberately unappealing scenes of city wreckage.
And as far as consolidating the mystery, the film isn't interested in that either, as evidenced by its final moments. Instead of pressing focus on the answers to whatever questions we may have, the movie's ultimate reveal is so weak, unsubstantial, and entirely disconnected to the story entirely, that it seems almost offensive to whatever semblance of a film might exist here to go out on this note. Offensive to the idea of film and story in general, as a matter of fact. But Getaway isn't concerned with these notions. Not with story, character, logic, or humanity. It just wants to show us a bunch of car crashes and explosions. So you'd think it might have at least made those look a little better.
1/5
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Truebies, this is it… the end is here. We have to impatiently wait until next summer before we can sink our teeth into next season of True Blood. So, grab a hefty box of kleenex to wipe your blood-stained tears away. Waiting sucks as much as being staked in the heart, right? Okay, well ALMOST as much!
But before we say goodbye to our vamp-pals and fairy gals down in Bon Temps, let's chat about this last episode's gory antics.
Party and Bulls**tAfter Terry's burial, Sookie invites Alcide to wander through the graveyard with her when Alcides were-senses start tingling: all the now-uncaged vamps are high on Warlowy blood, basking in the sun, stripping and screwing. Party on baby!
But one guy's not in the party mood. Bill's left in disarray after his near-dance with death. No longer does he feel Lilith's pull, he's the real Bill again. So naturally, he's back to feeling guilty for Sookie and wanting to put a halt on her wedding and turning. He recruits Jason– and Violet follows of course– to fetch Adelyn so they can jump to the fairy plane and save Sookie.
You're a Monster!Warlow's decked out the fairy plane with fancy-schmancy chandeliers and delicate flower ornaments for his wedding with Sookie, but Sookie's all like, hold up. Why don't we try to be a normal couple and date for a little before I become your fairy-vampire bride? But nope, that doesn't do it for Warlow: he ends up slapping Sook and chocking her. Warlow, that's no way to treat a lady!
Well, Warlow's not only clueless with chivalry, but also is a "monster" according to Sookie. Yep, it's a bummer, alright. He's not the swoon-worthy hunk Sookie's made him out to be… not even close! He's just a power-hungry, evil vampire that wants to use Sookie for her blood and her bod. Ugh, men these days!
The Return of Grandpa Niall! Well, uh, Adelyn doesn't exactly know how to get to said fairy plane. But with a little help–well, intimidation– from Violet, the ultimate crew (Jason, Andy, Bill, and Violet) bust in, kick Warlow's ass, and jet on out to save Sookie's mortal life. Ka-pow! Now that's what I call teamwork.
Unfortunately, a now powerless Bill is no match for Warlow, who easily slips away, bursts into the Stackhouse's and grabs Sookie. But before Warlow can even spit out a proper threat, Grandpa Niall pops out of his portal, Jason stakes Warlow, and Warlow shrivels into a pile of bloody blegh. Wahoo! Sookie, you're a free b*tch baby! Eric! NOOOOO!!!!Well, the death of Warlow also brings the end of his magical blood for all. Yep, no more fun in the sun for all the vampers, especially Eric! While lounging naked on a glacier and enjoying a good read– because why not– Eric instantaneously fries up. Gah! No! Eric, you can't die. Hell to the no. Seriously, Eric is the REASON I watch this show. Ugh, not cool. But hey, at least we got to see him naked, right?
Six Months Later...Then we flash forward to six months later, Bill's become a best-selling author of "And God Bled". Who would've guessed that outcome? And finally, Sookie and Alcide are together! I repeat… FINALLY! Took long enough for these two destined-lovebirds to realize they are perfect for each other! Also, it seems that Violet and Jason are Really enjoying each others company… well, kind of. Jason hasn't scored in the sheets with Violet quite yet. Hopefully you'll hit one out of the park soon, kiddo!
And guess who's become mayor… Sam Merlotte! Well, at a town meeting, Merlotte not only holds Hep. V tests, but suggests for all non-infected humans to forge a relationship with a vampire so they can exchange their human blood for protection from a vampire. With bands of ill-fed, Hepatits V-infected vampers scavenging through town, humans need as much safety as they can get.
Barbeque at Bellfleur'sSo, church-goers that are down with this plan head over to Bellfleur's– yep, Merlott's has been renamed– and mingle with friendly vamps. At the shindig, Tara's mom apologizes for never caring for Tara during her mortal life, but shares how she wants to make up for those days of neglecting now. So, she lets Tara feed on her, because afterall, what are mommies for?
Similarly, Jessica tries to make amends with Andy and offers to protect him and Adelyn, but Andy's nowhere near accepting of this idea. I mean, you did kill like three of his daughters, so can you really blame him for rejecting you? Sorry, chica!
And then, right when the party's in full swing and it seems that this vampire-human co-existence is totally alrighty, Bill and Alcide sniff out a pack of Hep. V-infested vampers headed into town, and yup... they're licking their lips and looking ready to pounce! Until next season...
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Truebies, it's time to face the disturbing fact that there is only one more episode left of this season. As much as it's a downer to picture future dark, dark days absent of True Blood amazingness, we must try our best to put those horrible images aside as we get ready for the upcoming season six finale.
But before we get our blood pumping at the thought of next week's ill-fated, heart-breaking finale, let's go over some of the crazy shenanigans that seized the screen in this week's episode. And thankfully, the minds behind True Blood kept this episode plain and simple, focusing this episode on two main storylines: pairing Terry's heartfelt funeral with the contrasting chaos at vamp-camp. There was not much Warlow chaos and there was no unwanted werewolf/shifter drama. Phew!
First off, let's head on over to Bon Temps where townies gathered to celebrate the life of Terry Belfleur at his funeral.
Remembering TerryWe finally bid farewell to the much-loved Terry Bellfleur with a slew of eulogies that trigger a whole lot of flashbacks. Andy remembers when Terry first returned home from war and hid out at their childhood fort. Sam recalls an especially sentimental moment when Terry declared that "every life matters," even a mere catfish while out fishing. And Lafayette reveals how after he peered into Terry's soul, he became his french-fry, booty-popping mentor.
Right before Arlene shares her eulogy, Sookie jumps in and shares a memory of when she witnessed Terry fall in love with Arlene for the first time. Sook confesses to listening in to Terry's thoughts one evening at Merlott's and hearing his heart racing as he thought how being with Arlene "would make coming out of the woods not so bad." Aw!
And finally, it's Arlene's turn to remember her hubby, which prompts her to recall the day baby Mikey came into the world. In the midst of Arlene fussing about how Mikey's despises her and refuses to breastfeed, Terry comes to the rescue and consoles the now-weeping redhead by telling her how much this family meant to him. Ugh, we're going to miss that fellow.
Warlow Life UpdateAfter last week's episode left Warlow looking not so hot– thanks to Eric who almost drained him to the core–Sookie revives the guy with some of her lovely fairy blood. Phew! P.S. I'm starting to hear wedding bells for these two... Yes, Sookie finally told Warlow she intends to keep her promise and become his fairy-vampire bride!
Bye Bye Vamp-CampEric's hype on Warlow's blood with a mission to save vampire kind from extinction over at vamp-camp. Bill rolls up to vamp-camp ready to save the day and carry out his Lilith-sent mission. But, it's clear Eric's already on the job: not only is the hottie vampire freeing his fellow vampers, but he's also brutally ending every human life in sight at vamp-camp, including Dr. Overlark's… and why yes, he does rip off his penis. And yes, I will never look at a penis the same way, ever, ever again.
And Jason fans, don't fret, Eric not only saves our favorite piece of man-candy from the confines of vamp-camp, but also heals him and clues him in that "he's in for a treat." So, I guess we have some more gay wet dreams from Jason coming up. P.S. Just because Jason's free from vamp-camp, that doesn't mean he's free from Violet. Oh yes! He's still Violet's sexy little human playtoy.
Sarah Newlin is Saved… But Why?!While every doctor/ researcher who tortured away at vamp-camp gets savagely murdred, Sarah Newlin manages to sneak past and expose all our vampires in the white room to the sun. But right as Newlin squeals "Die F*ckers," she realizes that these vampers aren't quite ready to hit the grave for good. Bill has come to the rescue! Rejoice! He's shared a lil bit of his Warlow-ified blood with all his vamper friends. Can I get a hell yeah!?
But fortunately, one vampire can't seem to get a lick of Bill's blood and ends up shredding to pieces in the sunlight. Yes, truebies, we FINALLY get to say goodbye to the one, the only Steve Newlin… but not before he manages to scream out "I love you, Jason Stackhouse". And then I died of laughter for the rest of the episode.
Decked out in a white pantsuit, Sarah Newlin tries to flee from the daywalkin' vamp clan… but the bump-it aficionado can't seem to run fast enough. Jason gets a hold of the crazy chick and claims its his religious duty to kill Sarah. Yet, Jason can't manage to pull the trigger and is lame enough to let her go. I'm sorry, but ARE YOU DUMB? Okay, like I knew Jason was stupid, but who knew this hunk could get himself to this uptime level of dumb-assness. Really, really, stupid decision Jason. I don't think I'll ever forgive you for this one… Then again, if you take your shirt off, maybe I'll take it easy on you.
Reunited and It Feels So Eh After Eric gets ear that the psychiatrist f*cked Pam, he's enraged to say the least. But, I was a tad thankful, because it led to a much-needed bonding moment for Eric and Pam. It seemed that their maker-protege connection rekindled when Eric gushed to Pam how he saved the therapist for her to kill off and she lit up like a full-blown Christmas tree. But, no… their bonding sesh didn't last for long at all. Right as Pam begs Eric not to go AWOL once more, Eric jets right on off. Ugh. Why must you go?!
The End of Billith As We Know ItEveryone's high and happy on Bill's blood, dancing in the sunlight, having a good ole party, and smashing every laced True Blood bottle in sight. But, Bill's not feeling happy-go-lucky like the rest of his vamper pals. Three Lilith sirens appear before Bill sharing that his time on earth is over. Although I'm not a huge Billith fan, that doesn't mean I'm even nearly ready to say peace out to Bill.
But thankfully, James has the nifty plan to feed Bill more Warlowy blood. Aha! That does the trick. So, does this mean we have the real Bill back? As in the Bill we first fell in love with… or is Lilith still controlling the dude? Dun dun dun!
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After witnessing Sookie drown last Sunday evening, we knew that this week's episode would be soaked in shear chaos. And True Blood did not disappoint. We watched Bill walk in the light, indulged in a much-needed sex scene, and even bid farewell to two lead characters. Yeah, it was pretty epic to say the least.
Now that you're all revved up, it's time to delve into all the bloody bits that True Blood served up.
Not So Bloody Tru BloodAnd we're back to gladiator sessions with Eric and Pam at vamp camp! As much as Pam despises Eric for turning Willa, deep down they still got lovin' for each other. The two stake some guards and stick their bleeding bodies up against the glass for Governor Burrell and all to see.
Burell, meanwhile, is on a path full of vengeance, so he injects Nora with Hepatitis V and forces Eric to watch her suffer. Yikes! But fear not, Eric has a plan: he summons Willa, who frees Eric and Nora, and then the three disguise themselves. Eric then discovers that Tru Blood bottles are being contaminated with the same lethal Hepatitis V that Nora's experiencing.
Bye Bye, Burrell! When Bill realizes Jessica's been shipped off to vamp camp he tries calling upon Lilith... to no avail. So, he instead forces Doc Takahashi to put him into a coma so he can communicate with Lilith. Unfortunately, she's more sassy than helpful, and decides she's so not down to assist Bill any longer.
Bill chugs a vile of Warlow's blood, steps in the sunlight, and... doesn't burn! Bill then shows up at Burrell's mansion, sinks his teeth into Burrell, and decapitates the fanger-hater. Peace out, Burrell! We won't be missing you too much… or frankly, at all.
Jason Stackhouse, LAVTFJason enlists in the LAVTF with the sole purpose of saving Jessica. But Sarah Newlin tries to intervene in Jason's rescue mission: the crazed blonde bombshell tries to force Jason into watching Jessica get raped. Luckily, Jessica is saved and Jason doesn't have to witness the abuse.
Toodles, Terry
Terry Bellefleur shows up at Lafayette's to give him a key to his safety deposit box, prompting Laf to phone Arlene, who thinks Terry's about to commit suicide. To stop him, Holly and Arlene call in a vamper to glamour Terry into forgetting about his war crimes and his suicidal thoughts.
Yet, Arlene didn't have a clue that Terry already planned out his death. So, despite Arlene's attempts to stop it, poor Terry still gets shot and winds up dying. Tears rush down Arlene's cheeks as she consoles Terry during his final moments; she sings a precious lullaby as she runs her manicured fingers through his hair. And then I cried through the rest of the episode.
Storylines We Don't Really Care About AnymoreSam realizes he's not quite ready for daddy-duty, so he hands Emma back over to Martha but firsts makes her promise to shield Emma from Alcide's pack. This whole Emma-swapping exchange infuriates Alcide, who tells him to head on out of town or else his pack will kill him.
Andy Bellefleur's last living daughter finally gets a proper name, Adeline-Braylyn-Charlaine-Dannica– four names in honor of her three deceased sistas. (Sidenote: Adeline's my middle name… just sayin').
Creature of the Light, Not So Much At Night!Bills spidey senses tingle (okay, they're vampire senses, but I had a chance to reference Spider-Man so I went for it) and he sends Warlow to save Sookie's drowning ass. Warlow's about to sink his fangs into Lafayette when Sookie hollers hell no! Ben instead blasts him with his light, which wakes up Lafayette — and we say goodbye to Papa Stackhouse's spirit forever.
Billith summons Ben once again, but Sookie jets off to that wacko fairy-plane. Ben tells Sookie he has to tie him up upon nightfall because he can't resist his killing urges. He explains, "In my heart I'm a creature of light, but when darkness falls…" He reveals that he despises his vampireness, which is why he killed Lilith. And if Sookie became his one and only, he would need only her, they could feed off each other and live in perfect fairy-vampire harmony!
Sookie starts to accept that she has feelings for Warlow and lets him feed off her. Then she feeds off him in return before making love to him. It's erotic as hell and is an awesome way for the episode to end. True Blood's sure been lacking in the sex department, so we're more than happy to be glamoured by these two hotties boning! And that hot sex scene leaves us something to think about while we await next Sunday….
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After last night's epic episode of True Blood, we can't wait to sink our teeth into next week's episode to uncover Sookie's ill-fate. Well, not only do we have next Sunday to look forward too, we also have a whole new season of sexually-charged vampires to get our blood pumping for! Oh yes. All your favorite vampers will be back again next year – True Blood has officially been renewed for a seventh season.
This news is expected considering True Blood is HBO's top-rated series. Even though this is the first season without Alan Ball, who created True Blood and ran the show from the start, season six's premiere on June 26th still managed to reel in a whopping 4.5 million viewers.
According to E! Online, Michael Lombardo, president of HBO Programming cheered in a statement, "True Blood remains a signature show for HBO, and a true phenomenon with our viewers. " He went on to share, "Thanks to [executive producer] Brian Buckner and his talented team, the show continues to be a thrill ride like nothing else on TV."
Just like Andy Bellfleur and his V, we are truly addicted to True Blood, so we can't wait to be glamoured by Vampire Bill once more. We are totally stoked for another eventful season full of vampires, fairies, shifter, werewolves, witches, and whatever other crazed species happen to inhabit the wild town of Bon Temps, Louisiana!
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After last week's insanely badass ending of True Blood, we know you couldn't wait to watch Sookie terrorize Warlow with her lethal fairy-ball. And the latest True Blood episode, 'F**k the Pain Away,' brought all the pizzazz you Sooklow shippers – we definitely need to come up with a better celebrity couple name for Sookie and Warlow – have been craving.
So pop out your fangs and get ready to sink 'em into all the blood-soaked details from this week's suspensefully awesome episode.
Vampire-Killing Ball of LightAfter Sookie threatens Warlow with her "vampire-killing ball of light" he reveals that he loves her and that it's their destiny to be together. Holy twist! Who could've thought that the same dude who killed Sookie's parents could also love our dazzling Merlott's waitress?
Warlow tells Sookie that on the eve her parents died, the Stackhouse parents were intent on killing their own daughter — so he was actually the one who saved Sookie. Sookie squeals "bulls**t" as she zaps Warlow. Her attack strangely triggers something within Bill. We thought it was bizzaro enough when Bill bursts in to Sookie's home — but then Bill summons Warlow. Wait, I'm sorry, what?! Apparently, Billith is Warlow's maker. Now I'm even more confused…
Ah! The Scent of Fairy GoodnessFlashback to 3500 BC: We see Warlow lounging with his baby mama but he soon leaves her side to have nasty sex with Lilith. After Lilith gets a proper sniff of his fairy goodness, she f**ks and then turns Warlow, who proceeds to massacre his entire village. He lets Niall live but then returns to kill Lilith — well he tries to, but she's obviously still up and at 'em, doing her thing.
A Little Bit of Blood Goes a Long WayJess is a bloody-teared after killing all of Andy Bellfleur's fairy children. With all that fairy blood pumping through her veins, Jess launches herself onto Bill and kisses her maker, which feels like so wrong on so many levels. Andy shows up at Bill's and freaks seeing his dead kiddos scattered about. He finds one child still left breathing, gives her a drop of V, and thankfully revives her.
Rawr! What a CatfightSarah Newlin is still trying to convince Governor Burrell to not only send Willa to camp but to also take a cue from Beyoncé and put a ring on it. After getting flat-out rejected from Burrell, Sarah pops over to Jason's to save his soul… and (pardon my French) f**k the s**t out of him in the hottest sex scene like ever.
High on fairy blood, Jess also comes to Jason for some loving affection — but, finding Sarah there, she instead ends up in a catfight with Sarah. Bye bye, Jess — you're off to vamp camp. Gah!
Welcome to Vamp CampTara discloses to Eric that the vamp cops have snatched Pam away. So the two vampers turn themselves in to the vampire po-po thinking that, once at vampire camp, they can save Eric's protege. Eh, we're not so sure this is a smart idea, guys…
We then get a glimpse of camp, where Eric plays a shooting game of racquet ball while Pam gets forced into therapy. Willa meanwhile, while surely sulking about getting booted into her father's very own vamp camp, is at least treated to some swanky V.I.P. quarters.
In a twisted game later on, Sarah Newlin surprises Governor Burrell with Eric's captivity. And then the crazed blondie tries to force Eric and Pam into a game of gladiator. This camp is insane.
Peace Out, SookieSookie seeks her own therapy sesh with Lafayette where she unveils that she sort of believes that Warlow loves her. The two do some voodoo s**t to call on Sookie's parents and we see a flashback of Warlow asking Sookie's parents to let him make her his princess and turn her into a fairy-vamp like himself.
After getting spooked out by Warlow, Mr. Stackhouse believes the only solution is to kill off Sookie — which he tried to do on the fateful evening he and his wife passed away. Papa Stackhouse's spirit then hops into Lafayette's body to end Sookie's life like he failed to do while he was alive. And the episode hault with Sookie scrambling for air as she drowns. Dun dun dun...
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John Mayer and Katy Perry are definitely dating again, if there were still any doubts. I know it's totally confusing keeping track of this on-again, off-again melodic relationship, but this time it's indisputable: they're officially an item once more. Not only did Perry post an Instagram of the officially on-again couple flaunting their most patriotic garb while holding onto one another, but Mayer also sang a love song for his main squeeze. Oh la la!
At the Marcus Amiptheatre in Milwaukee on his Born and Raised World Tour, Mayer romantically dedicated his last song of the night "A Face to Call Home" to everyone's favorite "California Gurl."
The 35-year-old musician gave Perry a shout-out for helping him in his time of need – Mayer grappled with vocal chord dilemmas, so he was on vocal rest for 20 months, according to People. He shared how Perry not only helped him communicate, but also stuck with him when they were far apart, even with shoddy cell reception and Internet connection. She's definitely the one if you can keep a connection while long distance without technology in this digital-dominated age!
Mayer went on to say, "I was still getting to know this girl and I wasn't going to be able to talk to her and she was more incredible than I ever thought."
And right before singing his first note, he dedicated to "Katy, who is my face to call home." Aw! What girl doesn't love a guy serenading her? Now we're just "Waiting on the World to Change" and other guys learn how to be quite as romantic!
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Bonnie McKee's music video for "American Girl" just dropped and it features a slew of celebs. The video for the catchy, bubble-gum pop tune includes stars like Katy Perry, Jenny McCarthy, Adam Lambert, Ms. "Call Me Maybe" Carly Rae Jepsen, Ke$ha, Kiss, Macklemore, E!'s Fashion Police crew, the hilarious Kathy Griffin, Jane Lynch, Jewel, and a handsome Lance Bass among plenty others.
The "American Girl" video bounces from A-lister to A-lister as each star sings and dances to a line of the Award-winning songwriter's hit. McKee, who has teamed up with pop star Katy Perry on a bunch of her songs, even got a nice shout out from the fellow "California Gurl." Cutie-pie Perry tweeted, "Wanna see me in bed in my pj's?! Watch this then" and posted a link to the video (below). And yes, Perry looks absolutely adorbable bopping along to the ditty in her jammies.
Although Bonnie McKee, who is a successful songwriter-turned-superstar, looks super fly with her hippie-styled headband and firecracker popsicle, it's hard to focus on the red-headed singer when every celebrity you can possibly imagine keeps captivating the screen. But then again, with lyrics like "Hot blooded, all American girl/ I was raised by a television" a cast of celebrities sounds about right.
Having friends in high places will undoubtedly boost views on McKee's Vevo channel. But after all the hits she supplied her video co-stars, it seems to us like they owed her one in return. Regardless, it's super fun watching some of our fave stars rock out to this head-bopping, sugary track.
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