experiment in vitality: a choice you make to be true to yourself. Learn more.

One time a few years ago, my roommate came home to find me writhing white-faced in agony on my bed and asked if she should take me to the hospital.

Nope, thanks. Just cramping.

It was debilitating and anxiety-inducing. Besides the physical agony, it was embarrassing as hell. You can’t hide that level of pain, and people are inquisitive. So several days a month, being in public got awkward.

When the #MeToo movement arrived, I was offline. I assumed it would die out within a few days when something else came up for everyone to angst about online.

Instead, #MeToo has grown and started a cultural shift so grand and overdue and amazing that it still feels too good to be true. Still, instead of celebrating, I felt disgust. I had to finally sit down and journal about this to try to figure out why.

I decided to experiment with what I thought of as "walking strong." It felt unfair to be constantly vigilant and pre-emptively moving out of people's way. My hypothesis was that holding my ground would be much less stressful. I walked as if in tadasana (mountain pose) and immediately felt more powerful.

On the sidewalk, I had a constant buzz of adrenaline, feeling like I was playing chicken with every person coming at me. I quickly noticed something…