just like Moby Dick, but shorter and less whale-oriented.

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How to Become the Art Snob You Have Always Dreamed of Being

I was perusing my previous posts and came across this one. In the interest of continuing to educate the unwashed masses, I would like to bring this up. This is for all of those who do not want to be an uncultured swine.

You have a date that you want to impress. You want that date to think you are a smart, well-educated, person with a vast cultural appetite. So what do you do on a date? Your usual evening of eating hot wings and watching procedural crime shows is not going to cut it. You need a night of culture, one that will impress your would-be mate enough to at least get that second date.

You have it planned out perfectly. A nice dinner followed by a dessert at a local gelato stand, then off to a local art gallery.

There is just one problem: art galleries are scary! There are all those paintings of demons and people with neatly groomed goatees. People talk about a twisted pile of metal like it is art when it is, in fact, a twisted pile of metal. How…