dirty talking

page updated: 31-Mar-2004

I enjoy tawking smut, not so much for the sake of saying naughty things as for the feeling of being skilled at it, or for the delight of being with someone who says sexy things. It is a pretty simple thrill, as most anything a lover says with sexy intentions works out to be exciting (barring unexpected and disconcerting fetishes or ideas, if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable). Say something sexy, make your lover purr, feel like a fox, make them feel foxy for being with you. Hooray!

I don't think I have any particular habitual smutty things that I say. Boy and I have ongoing jokes and so on, but other than that I mostly go with my moment-specific inspirations. These can be playful, or snuggly, or murmur-y, or blunt, or in a more "i am intense and won't break the sexy eye contact" vein, or any number of other styles. They can have a conspiratorial "want to be naughty with me?" premise, or a less elitist, more appreciative one (I am a bit of a hippie and used to being a nerd and I have a thing for not making yourself feel cool by excluding other people). Usually body contact is involved in the talk. It seems to me that I tend toward particular styles for when I am being sexy for fun, and for when I am actually a randy pants, but I can't think of what they are. If I do I'll report back.

Not all talk about or during sex is 'dirty' or even arousing, but I find this varies a lot between people. For instance, I don't often get turned on by technical or factual discussions about sex or descriptions of techniques etc, but special boy gets randy ideas if you spell the word sex. He sometimes gets bashful about this, because it can seem kind of immature (giggle giggle, you said 'sex'), but I think it is ok. He isn't silly; he just likes sex and talking about it reminds him. It makes him feel uninhibited to me, rather than unsophistocated.

The naughtiness of talk between special boy and I saw a fairly dramatic increase when we started using the word "fuck." Previous to that, we spoke passionately to each other in a way that was seductive, sensual, romantic even. The appearance of Fuck on the scene ushered in the purely sexual dirty talk. I like having the whole spectrum available.

The main kind of smut talk that has power over me is talk that invokes a pleasurable idea, mood, perspective or feeling in me. It can be a small idea or a big idea. Experiencing feelings and perspectives can be like a sensual or sensory experience, and I am much infatuated with it, especially in conjunction with other senses. Also I like the way that a particular seductive context can make some ideas sexy that ordinarily wouldn't be attractive.