Survival Guides – The Seasonairehttp://theseasonaire.com
Music, Snow & MoreMon, 11 Feb 2019 20:09:26 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.9The Stages Of An Avalanchehttp://theseasonaire.com/2016/12/20/stages-avalanche/
http://theseasonaire.com/2016/12/20/stages-avalanche/#respondTue, 20 Dec 2016 14:44:17 +0000http://theseasonaire.com/?p=2207Avalanches are fucking terrifying. I mean think about it. At any moment the snow beneath your feet could give way and drag you to a slow and painful, freezing cold death. It makes me shiver just thinking about it. On average 30 lives will be claimed by avalanches every year in the French alps alone, so it’s worth knowing a little bit about them before heading out on the hill.

Simply put, an avalanche is a quick flow of snow down the mountain or hill. Talk about stating the fucking obvious. The lethal combination that equates to an avalanche is simple, snow and a slope. With both of those things in place there is always a risk of one tearing you a new a-hole.

The conditions that can cause an avalanche may be very complex. The avalanche has 3 main parts:

#1: The Starting Zone:
This is the most volatile area of the slope. In this zone, the snow is very unstable and can easily fracture from the rest of the snow and begin the avalanche. Even though the starting zone is usually located on the top of the hills, it can fracture at any point of the slope.

#2: The Avalanche Track:
This is the path that the avalanche follows when it’s going down the mountain. Self explanatory really.

#3: The Runout Zone:
This is the area where the snow finally stops.

There are many different factors that may determine if an avalanche is about to occur or not. However, since you can start observing some concerning factors now and the avalanche may or may not happen, it’s hard to let people know that there might be a dangerous situation.

Among the factors that can affect the likelihood of an avalanche are the temperature, the weather, the terrain, wind direction, slope orientation and steepness, vegetation, among others. The problem is not only there are many factors that you need to pay attention to as well as the different combinations of the different factor may originate different conclusions regarding if an avalanche is likely to occur or not. Not to mention that some of these factors can change within less than 1 hour like the snowpack or the temperature.

]]>http://theseasonaire.com/2016/12/20/stages-avalanche/feed/0How to be an absolute punterhttp://theseasonaire.com/2014/01/12/absolute-punter/
http://theseasonaire.com/2014/01/12/absolute-punter/#commentsSun, 12 Jan 2014 17:35:50 +0000http://theseasonaire.com/?p=1806It’s that time of the year again! You’ve got your kit from TK Maxx, you’ve booked your flights and you’re all set for your annual trip away to the alps. But there’s something that’s been niggling you. You’re worried. And I mean really worried. How can you make sure everyone knows you’re the biggest punter on the mountain?!

Fortunately, in between watching videos of Shaun White on youtube and wearing my bolle goggles in the snowdome I’ve found the time to write a listicle worth reading. Here’s how to be an absolute punter:

What to Wear…

Headwear

First things first, you need to get the look. As Shaun White famously said, ‘fashion is important’, and looking the part is something every punter needs to do. So lets start at the top, what kind of headwear should I wear? The best kind of punter hat is a jester hat; it shows that you don’t take things too seriously and that you’re the kind of person who’s on the mountain to have the most fun. You might be worried about your safety when riding down blue runs at a rip-roaring 17.34kph (#G-N-A-R-L-Y), so feel free to grab a helmet – a normal road cycling helmet works best – and get ready to get radical! Whatever you’ve got on your head make sure there’s a massive gap between it and your goggles, it’s important that everyone can see your forehead.

Safety + Style = Trendy! Photo by LakeRidge Photography

Goggles

Sometimes it’s best to not wear goggles because squinting is the best way to see in a blizzard and it’s also good for working out those lazy, flabby eye muscles! Sunglasses are great in all conditions, wrap arounds or really small circular ones are best for screaming out ‘look at me, I’m a punter on the piste, skiing like an absolute beast!’ LOL!

Radical gnarly party bro! Photo by NCReedplayer

Jacket and Pants

Jacket? What jacket?! No no no. Wear a gilet baby! Nothing keeps your body warm and your arms cold like a puffy gilet from Jack Wills. If you must wear a jacket, get one a few sizes too small and in a pattern that looks like the inventor of tartan vomited a rainbow all over it. Why not match it with a pair of trackie bottoms, or even jeans?! If going for the jeans look, be warned that some ‘park rats’ and ‘rail riders’ (rails aren’t real skiing, duh!) are also rocking this look and people might think you’re not a punter. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

The Shaun White x Spongebob 2014 collection. Photo by inkognitho

How to Act…

Why Not Snowblade?!

Snowblades are the best because they combine the freestyle capabilities of a snowboard with the trendiness of skis. You can spin around on piste, do jumps really easy and turning has never been so much fun! I’d recommend trying a snow scooter for an afternoon for a great time looking cool, stylish and forward thinking.

Blade style 4 life! Photo by jipol

Go to the Snowpark

Although it’s not a real sport, ‘freestyle’ is fun to try for at least an hour every holiday. So why not head to the jump park and do some stunts?! Remember, Shaun White had to start somewhere! You will have to abide by park etiquette though, the mains points of which are:

Always drop in just before someone else does. The skier with the best jester hat always has priority.

Stop just before and just after every feature.

Always sit in the landing.

Always try things you can never land.

When doing a backflip summersault remember to flip first, then jump. You get bonus points for hitting your head on the lip.

The features in the park always double up as a slalom course; why not take your ski school through?

Nearly stomped it! Photo by Gianluca Belvisi

Be a Video Star Internet Tube Sensation!

Make sure you document everything. Strap a gopro to your head, your chest, your board, your face, your wife, your poles, your child. Edit all the footage into one really long video and put it on youtube, then call it ‘Shaun White lands a new trick’ to get maximum views!

http://youtu.be/8AxnLjxl1tM

Take Photomographs!

If you can’t video your trip then photograph it! Blurry photos of you in the air, an accidental photo of your feet, a photo of you grinding on a box, a photo of your lunch on the mountain, whatever it is, photograph it! Upload it to instagram with #shitshredshots and who knows? Your favourite snowski magazine might publish it online! If you really want to get your punter shots published then make sure you’re wearing your best surfanic jacket and get a whole foot off the ground, don’t grab and point at the camera. Voila, instant cover shot!

#shitshredshots Photo by Gatto Ashuto

Tell Everyone How Good You Are

The best way to do this is to get the app, ski tracks. Take a screen shot at the end of every day, upload it online and everyone will know that you rode for an hour, travelled a whole kilometer and went a top speed of 20kph. You’re practically on the #roadtosochi!

Max altitude man! Photo by geofones

Talk About How Cool the Olympics Are

The Olympics are great, what kind of hardened, cold-hearted, concrete cumberbatch would not like the ultimate test of national skill in expensive sports that most of the country can’t afford to participate in?! The best part of the Olympics for us adrenaline snow junkies is the fact skiers organize all snowsport things, which means even the snowboard competitions are worth watching! Make sure everyone knows how punter you are by starting conversations in the bar with one of these statements:

‘Gee whizz, that Shaun White really does go high with his halfpipe airs! His jeans might be a bit tight but he does deserve to win because he’s the best snowboarder of all time’

‘Remember when that girl fell over doing a trick on the jump in that race? What an idiot, she got a bronze or something not a gold, hashtag looser! LOL!’

‘I really think FIS are the best organization to facilitate the delivery of all snowboard events due to their longstanding partnership with the IOC. Moreover, those baggy panted, weed smoking, boardriders couldn’t organize a challenge in the Arctic!’

]]>http://theseasonaire.com/2014/01/12/absolute-punter/feed/1Kio Goodary: London Survival Guidehttp://theseasonaire.com/2012/07/25/kio-goodary-london-survival-guide/
http://theseasonaire.com/2012/07/25/kio-goodary-london-survival-guide/#commentsWed, 25 Jul 2012 07:49:05 +0000http://theseasonaire.com/?p=641So you want to come to London to visit? Great! Seriously, no sarcasm intended. London is a great city and a great place to work and live. But when visiting London, especially during times when special events are taking place (ahem: London 2012 Olympics) – there are a few pointers to keep in mind. I’ve lived here for 5 short years now, and still considering myself a tourist, here are some points i’ve put together for the discerning tourist or visitor.

Probably the golden rule: Don’t act like a tourist. You will be targeted quickly by people you would rather not be bothered by.

1.Google Maps will become your best friend in London. Use it

2. You can walk to pretty much most places in Zone 1 if the destination is a few stops away. Don’t waste your money going one, two, three, four stops etc… you’ll also see much more if you walk.

3. When walking around – keep to the left. If you’re on an escalator and you’re just standing… stand to the right. Trust me. Just do it.

4. Central London is well sign-posted. Keep an eye out for them, especially if you’re already following signs to somewhere. On the tube, all attractions are indicated too.

5.No-one likes a slow walker. Seriously.

6. From 5-7pm on a weekday, it becomes rush hour. People coming from work become soulless, cold, horrible machines. Try not to get in their way. They’re easily irritated.

7. The price of alcohol in bars / pubs / clubs are more expensive in London. Get over it.

8. Re: Point 7 – do your best to refrain from buying drinks in bars in tourist traps (Oxford Street, Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square, Covent Garden etc). There are of course exceptions to this rule, like Wetherspoon pubs and Yates bar (there’s one right in Leicester Square if you get desperate. I’ve admittedly had a few drunken nights in there. There’s also a pole.).

9. The bus will take you long distances for £1.35 – if you’re feeling confident, have a go at taking a bus. It’s funny. Really.

10. London is the most surveillanced city in the world. There are undercover police everywhere, and you will get captured on CCTV thousands of times every day. Don’t do anything obviously stupid!

11. Very important to consider… London is horrendously liberal. Within hours of being in the city… you’ll probably see some weird stuff. Or some odd madness. Or some crazy thing. The most important thing to remember is that no-one cares – and you shouldn’t either … but in a nice way! Just smile to yourself on the inside. You can take the piss later

12.Stop, look and listen. Be careful crossing the road. I know this is what they told you in primary school… but in London, cars won’t stop for you. Neither will cyclists (you’ll be shocked at the amount of cyclists in London).

So here’s a selection of attractions ‘n’ shit i’ve put together that I think you may like. I don’t know if you will – but have a quick look here anyway.

It’s pretty cool. I’ve been on it three times, but you only need to go on it once. Go at night, or the late evening when the city starts to light up. Actually just go at night. Late evening at the earliest. See the city at it’s most energetic – it’s a beautiful sight.

If you like fish – this is the place for you. If you don’t like fish, there are some pretty fish too that are nice to look at, at least. And some sharks. And piranhas. And stingrays. And a robotic fish.

Do you like iced cream? Ha! Of course you do, I don’t even know why I’m asking the question. This is your iced cream dream house. This place, my sweet-toothed visitor, has a whole menu – yeah, you read correctly… a whole menu… full of cold, frozen cream awaiting you. This place has everything you could ever ask for – standard scoops, to towering hot and cold iced cream and chocolate brownie combinations, to fondue platters to share, to your own custom made creations. To top this off, all of this is Häagen-Dazs iced cream, if that wasn’t enough already.

This bar experience is completely made of ice. EVERYTHING is made of ice. 40 minutes only because you’ll freeze. Cool coat and gloves to wear whilst you are there, and a free drink i believe. Tourists love this place – but I’d just prefer a pint in a bar. Be sure to book online to avoid disappointment.

Superclub. Sophisticated music, very little commercial shite. Three rooms, all connected via a series of tunnels. Consistently hosting world-class DJs and producers. Not cheap, like every other nightclub in London – but here you certainly get more bang for your pound coin. Check out what’s on here.

Proper good laugh (obviously). Various acts over a few hours. Only made funnier with a bar and kitchen, so you can drink to your hearts content (they serve pitchers of beer) and have dinner too. The night starts sober, but as it progresses – everyone (you, the audience) just gets more and more drunk. Things get funnier. A night out in itself. Be sure to book online here to avoid disappointment, and to see who is on.

SERIOUS NOTE: You can buy tickets that get you into many places for around £45 or something, like London Dungeon, The Eye, Aquarium and Madame Tussauds. A lot cheaper than buying separate tickets. Look here.

So next up I’ve got a few places I’d like to recommend to you…

Zone 1
A fine blended mixture of tourist traps, highstreet shops, bars, restaurants, souvenir shops, about 71,683,481 Starbucks, a similar amount of Pret a Manger’s and much more. It’s the heart of London and it’s cool as fuck. It has skyscrapers, beautiful bank-sides, amazing history and architecture. The world comes to visit this place, rain or shine, all year round. I’ve lived here for 5 years and I know i’ve only ever scratched the surface. Go and explore it! It’s crazy, fun and fascinating.

Camden Town
Spiritual home of the hippies. This place seems normal at first – but trust me, you don’t have to go far before it starts to “change”. Horrific amount of bars, markets, crazy-ass shops and tattoo parlours. It’s just different, unique… and great. I love this place. The markets here are most certainly worth a visit. Prepare to see some unexpected things.Oh, Camden also has a canal complete with a real functioning lock. Yes! Stick around long enough and you’ll see a canal boat pass through being cheered on by tipsy people outside Lloyds Bar (The Ice Wharf).

Hampstead Heath
I always describe this place as “a little bit of wales in Central London”. That’s because it is. This protected area is the perfect place to go to escape the concrete jungle for an afternoon or evening. Get a bus from Camden Town to Hampstead Heath (around 15 mins, you can also get London Overground trains there), hop off and buy yourselves a few bottles of wine and some snacks – and head up to The Heath for a drunken hot afternoon or evening of serene beauty and amazing views of London. Also worth a mention is the Garden Gate pub in Hampstead Heath itself – a lovely little place with a lovely massive beer garden serving food and drink until late. One of my favourite “get me the fuck out of the city” spots – and makes me feel human again.

Shoreditch
You heard of the “hipster”? It all started here… and it’s still here, stronger than ever. Shoreditch, Old Street, Liverpool Street, Brick Lane… explore these areas to see some crazy fashion sense and people who think they’re cool. Plenty of boutiques, fine eateries, coffee shops, markets, bars and pubs.

Brixton
This is South London. A very, very different place to North London. The people are different, the accents are different. I’ve taken a whiz one night down Electric Avenue. Home to lots of bars and history… and Jamaicans. You’ll certainly see some weird stuff here. You’ll smell some weird stuff too. This place is also slowly being claimed by the hipsters… come at your own risk – but a great adventure in itself.

Clapham
It’s the North London of South London. Lots of bars, pubs, and one massive mediocre nightclub called Infernos. Many “norms” and young families here. It’s been my “going out” place for a while now – although there are lots of other places to go too.

Stratford
Home of the Olympics 2012. Also home of Europe’s biggest shopping centre, Westfield. Yeah, baby. Shops and restaurants galore. Shopping here is your wallets dream. Worth a visit if you want to pick up some… shoes or something. Or whatever you buy in shops. There’s certainly something for everyone here.

Greenwich
Picturesque, beautiful, and most importantly… the home of Time itself. GMT, y’know? GREENWICHMean Time? This place it well kept because of its importance. Also home to Greenwich Observatory on top of a phat hill (the best view of London), the Cutty Sark ship and the not-very-liked Greenwich University. Because they love themselves.

So that’s it kids. I’m honestly, only scratching the surface here with what I’ve written. I could go on and on forever about where to go and/or what to do – but the best thing for you, my lovely visitor, to do? Go and explore London. Go – now! Do it now! There’s something for everyone, from all walks of life. Above all – have fun, use common sense, Google Maps and stay safe!

Kieran Goodary is our tech man and is the reason things have been changing so fast round here. London based, he knows what the fuck he is talking about..