First I'd like to say I'm not posting this to whine or request help.Not looking for someone to say how sorry they re for me or anything. I'd just like people to be better informed of how depressed people feel and why they might act the way they do. I feel that most of society says for depressed people to "just man up" and get over what their problem might be instead of actually try to help them.

I used to think that whenever people were talking or laughing, it was at my expense; still do to some degree. I never went to stores unless I absolutely had to. I haven't been to the mall (a major retailer for my town) in 3 or 4 years. And years before that. I often think people that act certain have these ulterior motives. For instance, when someone invites me to something or acts nice to me. I'll later think they have constructed some conspiracy in which people all act like they like me but do it either to lead into some kind of huge prank upon me and/or in order so that they can laugh at me when I'm not around.

Whoa, I was like this too when I was a little younger, though I never really thought of it in terms of paranoia (just depression and anxiety, I guess). If I had to go someplace like the mall, I was absolutely sure that every single person who saw me was using every fiber of their being to not insult me, laugh at me, spit on me, tell me I'm ugly, etc, etc. I'm mostly over it, but I still have to tell myself I'm thinking ridiculously sometimes. It's still sometimes hard to believe that people would voluntarily be nice to me.

Exactly. It's quite funny because sometimes, like today, I realize exactly how ridiculous the things I've been thinking are. A conspiracy among every person I know at my college to make fun of me and pull stuff on me? Really? Alas, people are crazy.

Please explain if I'm answering this wrong but I see myself getting up whenever and staying in my dorm until I get hungry then coming back until I need to eat again. I might do some homework but nothing besides that.

I'm undecided, great Major I know. I don't really need to plan because I usually obey the same routine, as previously described. Unless I run out of soap or something, there's not really anything I have to worry about except getting homework finished.

Why do u think you are depressed? At what point did it become clear to you? I've always thought I have a mild depression problem, but I try not to dote on it. I have a really stressful job, but I try to stay positive. Even when I didn't have this job, I'm socially awkward and apprehensive. I've always been a quiet person, which hasn't been a problem, but my GF has recently said that I am turning into a cynic. I'd like to say she's full of it, but I think she's right. I just like to think I'm a realist, but I don't know. Is that how you (or anyone else) feels? Can I get some serious answers here?

Stress is a trigger for many mental illnesses, so learning skills to cope with stress is always helpful.

Do you feel tired more often lately? Have problems getting out of bed?

Do you feel apathetic towards things that you were interested in previously? Trouble starting tasks or completing tasks, moreso than previously?

Trouble falling alseep? When you sleep you feel as if it's not restful?

These are all possible symptoms. Most employers have a EAP which allows you to see a therapist for like 3-5 sessions and figure out what your next steps are. In my case I saw one like 5 years ago and we both agreed that I had a mild depression. I felt down, tired, and such... but we worked together on a gameplan to get well. I self medicated with St. John's Wort for 6 months, and had my wife continue to watch my mood. If I wasn't making progress, I'd schedule another set of appointments, but in my case I got better.

I grew up in a family where seeing a therapist was frowned upon. There was a stigma attached to it... but that's all bullshit. See it as an opportunity for someone to help teach you some skills to help you in life, develop a plan, and move on from there. It doesn't have to be a life long commitment if you are a mild case. It can be 3-5 sessions to just get you on the right track.

I'd definitely agree with above named symptoms. I've felt all these things quite frequently. I would definitely explore possible treatment avenues. A person who cares deeply about you can be an invaluable resource.

A lot of the depression comes from my paranoia and the way in which I was raised. It's extremely difficult for me to meet new people because I assume they hate me and think I'm a weird creep automatically. I don't know if it really ever was a moment where I was like "well I'm depressed." I often didn't realize I was depressed in the past. Being depressed feels "right" for me. It's not that I think I deserve it or that the world is out to get me or something, it's that I feel I have perfectly good reasons to feel the way I do. One landmark event would be the time in Freshman year of High School(4 years ago) when I spent the entire end of school picnic lying down in a field alone, avoiding everyone as much as I could.

Edit: Forgot some of the stuff I wanted to say.

I'm definitely a cynic as well. Try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. Ruminating is a definite cause and symptom of depression. I often spent hours each night analyzing all the ways in which I have interacted with people, why they probably hate me, and where I first went wrong and ruined our relationship (At least why it seems that way at the time{If what I just said made sense}). For more info about it, A doctor at my college, KU, has created an anti-depression regime(call TLC) that doesn't involve any prescription meds and specifically goes over ruminating as a root cause of depression. Look him up if you think it might help you.

Edit 2: Redit messed up my reply.

While I certainly understand your cynicism, I am definitely one, I would try to avoid it. Also try not to let yourself think too much(ruminate). Being quiet certainly isn't a problem, but it could be a symptom (whether real or seen as one by an observer) as a deeper problem. I don't really talk to anyone unless I have to anymore or unless I feel I would be making a demonstrable show of love(not sexual) to someone. For instance, I greet people and am friendly when I open a door for people, but do not ever initiate conversations with strangers or even sometimes well-known acquaintances. But I digress, try to avoid ruminating as much as you can, it can lead directly to depression. I for instance think for hours everyday about how I've acted towards people, reasons why they might hate me, and where I first ruined our relationship. I didn't always originally do this, I used to just wonder why people had said or done certain things to me recently. But now, I think all the way back to 8th grade and in what way I made myself so hated by my classmates. Trust me, this is not a pleasant road to begin a journey down.

In what ways are you socially awkward? I also am that way. Likely because I was home-schooled until 6th grade and then went to an extremely small school. As in when I first started in 6th grade I was the youngest of 8 up to grade 11 and when I finally graduated there were only 8 Seniors including myself. I have a little trouble picking up on some social cues, I am also told I am quite monotone(Think stereotypical stoner, I've been told I sound like that too) in the ways I talk, even though I am quite sarcastic (Don't really know how those two can go together). I have great difficulty talking to new people, mostly because I can't think of what to talk about and am already sure they think I am some kind of weirdo. With people I am acquainted with though I am more comfortable talking because I have already accepted that they hate me and no longer really care about changing what they think about me.

P.S. All I said above isn't necessarily what I feel this second what what I feel the majority of the time or when I ruminate etc.

It sounds like you didn't get help because no one found you. If you feel this way in the future, you should call 911.... get to a place that can give you the environment to get better.

My daughter's depression is severe and a side effect was hallucinations. We went to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what was wrong, but it wasn't until she tried to make them stop in a final way (cutting her wrists) that she got the real help she needed. Not all medication makes you like a zombie, there are combinations out there that do wonders for people, you just have to work with your doctors to find the right one.

And of course knowing that you're not alone, developing coping skills, and effective communication are all so vital. It all sounds so cliche, but it's all so real.

You're right that some in society just don't get it.. it's a chemical issue in your brain, most of the time a person doesn't choose to be depressed. But you can do something about it... exercise, therapy, and medication all work. Even if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for the people who love you. As a parent of someone who suffers from similar problems, I can tell you first hand how my world would nearly come to an end if I lost my daughter. I'm sure there are people in your life that feel the same way.

Don't take this the wrong way; I truly appreciate your concern. But I didn't want to be found. I didn't want people to find me half-dead and revive, suddenly showering me in attention and love. I wanted to be found after I died. I had a detailed suicide note and will, detailing things like how I didn't want a funeral or memorial service, my desire for all my possessions sold and the money used for my cousins' college funds, and my desire for people to be kind and love each other.

What kind of hallucinations? I've never even heard of such a thing occurring.

I no longer really care about being alone. I accept it as a fact of life. I don't really attempt to make friends anymore, though I am by no means rude or mean to people. I am much more self-sufficient than I used to be and generally do everything for my self. I no longer have to ask others to help me (except of course small things like passing a book to me).

I think more than just but most people don't understand depression. People say "ohh my dog died I'm so depressed" for 3 days and think that's how everyone with depression feels. It's much deeper and more crippling than that. I also cut my wrists, not as a form of masochism or self-punishment but as a way to prepare and desensitize myself to the pain that attempting suicide in that manner might bring.

If I may, could you explain in greater detail about your daughter's situation. Age, schooling, etc. ?

And also, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here. I'm sure you have doctors, friends, etc. to talk to but if you need someone that is impartial to the situation, want to know a possible explanation to words or atcions, or think I might be able to say something helpful to her, let me know. I can send you my e-mail if you want. I say this out of the sorrow I feel at how misunderstood and mis-judged many depressed people seem to be.

I laud you for standing by her and wanting to help. I hope you create an environment where ANYTHING can be said without judgment or punishment; I have no such relationship with my parents.

I honestly don't really know. I'm first first year student here at college (Though I am technically a Sophomore). I don't think I've really burnt out. I have no idea what I want my degree to be, what I want to do with my life , or even what career avenues I might pursue. Not trying to brag but I'm on the Dean's list here and have only ever received one college B when I was a Junior in High School.

I think part of it might be a sub-conscious attempt to prove my aunt wrong. She said I would drop out my first semester and become a loser living in parents' basement for the rest of my life; though she has worked at a dead-end restaurant job for the last 30 years of her life and raises a son who ha never heard the word NO and whose only friends hang out with him for his multitude of "toys".

Failure doesn't mean you don't truly want to. It's not necessarily a cry for help, so don't get angry, weirded out, whatevered by someone that tried and failed thinking that they just want attention. Part of it can be simple ignorance or "luck", such as taking the wrong amount of hydrocodone.

I took 20 along with 15 sleeping pills, on two separate occasions. I don't know about you but that sounds pretty genuine to me. Not a single person IRL knows about it and I never called anyone, no one found me. 2 hours after I took them and I still wasn't dead, I drove home and tried to go to bed and soon I threw them up without meaning to. Not sure if I took too many(Actually possible, just look up Napolean's attempted suicide) or too few, just that it was the wrong amount.