Monthly Archives: September 2015

The illustration isn’t new. My pastor speaks all the time about the storms we go through in life. Following Christ doesn’t earn us smooth sailing and sunny skies. We’re always in one of three stages…about to enter a storm, going through a storm, or coming out of a storm. When you’re in the middle of one, it’s hard to believe it will ever be over. Especially if that storm is losing a child.

Last night, we had a crazy thunderstorm. It came out of nowhere. Strong winds, pounding rain, huge rolls of thunder, bright flashes of lightening that streaked across the sky. It would have been terrifying to be caught out in it, but from inside our house, there was a kind of beauty about the whole thing.

That’s how my life since Hannah has been. Terrifying at times. The pain almost suffocating. The moments sneak up even now, three and a half years later. But every once in a while, more now than at the beginning, I can see the beauty in this suffering.

The way I have no choice but to lean on the Lord to give me peace and perspective. It’s beautiful.

The way Zach and I chose to ultimately let this bring us closer together. It’s beautiful.

The way God has used Hannah to help me connect with other women of loss. It’s beautiful.

The testimony I have. It’s beautiful.

Sometimes this storm rages around me. And other times, it’s a grey cloud on the horizon of the sunny sky. Other days, it’s somewhere in between.

Even on the darkest days, the bright blue sky is always there behind the clouds. God is always always always there. When you don’t feel Him, He’s holding you and riding the storm out with you. When you don’t turn to Him, He’s there waiting to be your Shelter.

About Me

My name is Amanda, and I am a child of God. I love to read, cook, and spend time with my family. My husband, Zach, is my best friend! Our daughter, Hannah, is in heaven, and our son, Noah, just turned a year old. We also have a miniature dachshund named Penny. This is my journey on living with grief and finding hope.