Know When To Say No

Posted: 07/08/2015 by
Cox Purtell

object(WP_Post)#9417 (24) {
["ID"]=>
int(5763)
["post_author"]=>
string(1) "5"
["post_date"]=>
string(19) "2015-08-07 17:27:04"
["post_date_gmt"]=>
string(19) "2015-08-07 07:27:04"
["post_content"]=>
string(3289) "Hi. My name is Loretta and I am a Yes-aholic. There we go, I’ve admitted I have a problem…now what?
Saying no doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue for me. I have an all-encompassing fear of letting people down, which can inevitably lead to me leaving myself on the bottom rung of my own priority ladder (and subsequently wondering how I got there).
Invariably my response when I get the “you’re too soft” or “you’re too nice to people” line of conversation directed at me, is “Yeah I know, I know, I’m working on it.” And then I change absolutely nothing.
Common sense tells us we all need to say no sometimes, professionally and personally. How? When? Why? And why on earth would you take the advice of someone who may as well have ‘yes’ tattooed on her face?
Because I’ve learned what NOT to do. Here are some factors to consider:
Comfort
Are you actually comfortable with what has been asked of you? Stepping out of our comfort zone is a necessity, without that, progression is impossible.
However, it is also important that you are not being made to feel genuinely uncomfortable in your position. Push back. It may be that a particular task would be better suited to someone else, or perhaps you simply need further guidance. Either way, no one else will push back for you.
Capability
Ask yourself if you have the capabilities required for the task at hand. If you have said yes to an urgent matter without having the know-how to follow it through to completion, you’ve landed both yourself and most likely the wider team smack bang into a lose-lose situation.
Agreeing isn’t always helping.
Give & TakeDelegation is one thing, dumping everything on the soft touch in the office is another. I’m very lucky to be in a collaborative team, but I have seen the other side. Respect is a non-negotiable element required for a successful team.
Take a moment to consider
a) would the person asking for the favour ever return it?
b) Do they consistently ask you to undertake tasks they really should be looking after themselves?
c) do you feel like you are being taken advantage of?
You know what to do.
Pride
You’re familiar with pride, right? It comes before the fall. I am a major guilty party here. That pre-mentioned fear of disappointment is married to my equally active fear of failure.
However, allowing your workload to grow to the point where you are overwhelmed, overworked (and more than a little bit crazy) is a sure-fire way to burn out.
Yes is a powerful word. Just don’t let it overpower you."
["post_title"]=>
string(19) "Know When To Say No"
["post_excerpt"]=>
string(58) "Yes is a powerful word. Just don’t let it overpower you."
["post_status"]=>
string(7) "publish"
["comment_status"]=>
string(4) "open"
["ping_status"]=>
string(6) "closed"
["post_password"]=>
string(0) ""
["post_name"]=>
string(19) "know-when-to-say-no"
["to_ping"]=>
string(0) ""
["pinged"]=>
string(63) "
http://www.coxpurtell.com.au/blog/the-importance-of-team-work/"
["post_modified"]=>
string(19) "2015-08-14 16:49:19"
["post_modified_gmt"]=>
string(19) "2015-08-14 06:49:19"
["post_content_filtered"]=>
string(0) ""
["post_parent"]=>
int(0)
["guid"]=>
string(36) "http://www.coxpurtell.com.au/?p=5763"
["menu_order"]=>
int(0)
["post_type"]=>
string(4) "post"
["post_mime_type"]=>
string(0) ""
["comment_count"]=>
string(1) "0"
["filter"]=>
string(3) "raw"
}

Hi. My name is Loretta and I am a Yes-aholic. There we go, I’ve admitted I have a problem…now what?

Saying no doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue for me. I have an all-encompassing fear of letting people down, which can inevitably lead to me leaving myself on the bottom rung of my own priority ladder (and subsequently wondering how I got there).

Invariably my response when I get the “you’re too soft” or “you’re too nice to people” line of conversation directed at me, is “Yeah I know, I know, I’m working on it.” And then I change absolutely nothing.

Common sense tells us we all need to say no sometimes, professionally and personally. How? When? Why? And why on earth would you take the advice of someone who may as well have ‘yes’ tattooed on her face?

Because I’ve learned what NOT to do. Here are some factors to consider:

However, it is also important that you are not being made to feel genuinely uncomfortable in your position. Push back. It may be that a particular task would be better suited to someone else, or perhaps you simply need further guidance. Either way, no one else will push back for you.

Capability

Ask yourself if you have the capabilities required for the task at hand. If you have said yes to an urgent matter without having the know-how to follow it through to completion, you’ve landed both yourself and most likely the wider team smack bang into a lose-lose situation.

Agreeing isn’t always helping.

Give & Take

Delegation is one thing, dumping everything on the soft touch in the office is another. I’m very lucky to be in a collaborative team, but I have seen the other side. Respect is a non-negotiable element required for a successful team.

Take a moment to consider

a) would the person asking for the favour ever return it?

b) Do they consistently ask you to undertake tasks they really should be looking after themselves?

c) do you feel like you are being taken advantage of?

You know what to do.

Pride

You’re familiar with pride, right? It comes before the fall. I am a major guilty party here. That pre-mentioned fear of disappointment is married to my equally active fear of failure.

However, allowing your workload to grow to the point where you are overwhelmed, overworked (and more than a little bit crazy) is a sure-fire way to burn out.