Infowars founder Alex Jones called a press conference on Friday afternoon to lash out at reporters for their coverage of his child custody case and topped it off by ranting about Chobani yogurt and “human animal chimeras.”

With a gag order lifted, the Infowars pitchman reverted back to form on Friday, attacking the press before spinning off in odd directions to the amusement of reporters.

After accusing reporters of being financed by billionaire George Soros, Jones said his trial was a milestone.

“This was one of the first modern trials where you had corporate establishment mercenary media perched in the courtroom, literally cherry-picking, twisting and distorting everything, ” Jones complained. “That is why it has accelerated the demise of the corporate media. You guys wonder why you have dwindling audiences, and you don;t have support. It’s because you deceive people and you lie to people.”

“Now I know you people have corporate masters who order you to do that,” Jones continued. “You’ve got editors who add disinformation to your stories. But again that’s the bottom line.”

The blustery pitchman also addressed a lawsuit filed against him by by Chobani brand yogurt, saying he’s considering counter-suing.

“We’re thinking of an aggressive corporate strategy to actually go after the New York Federal Reserve and the school lunch program that [Chobani CEO Ulukuya] is a part of,” Jones explained.

Jones later lashed out at reporters for not taking issues on Infowars seriously, including his worries about scientists reportedly injecting human cells into pigs, telling the assembled reporters, “Do you have any idea how dangerous these human-animal chimeras are?” before telling reporters to “Google” it.

The website founder also fretted about “rhesus monkeys you can buy in Hong Kong that glow in the dark and are part jellyfish,” and something he described as “spider goats.”

About the Author

Tom Boggioni is based in the quaint seaside community of Pacific Beach in less quaint San Diego. He writes about politics, media, culture, and other annoyances. Mostly he spends his days at the beach gazing at the horizon waiting for the end of the world, or the sun to go down. Whichever comes first.