@Richard
Really? You did not understand my point? do is study, jujutsu is about fighting...Please not this again. No, it is not about hurting people....

@Graham
Does it really matter why (or when) aite taps out? Tori must respect this decision at all times.
I think Don Magee described it pretty well. I also believe it is a process that takes a little while. At first (when you start Aikido) you might be tempted to resist the pain/hold: to see how much you can take. After a while you will start to understand what Aikido is about and this fades away. It is about protecting yourself.