The Reluctant Journey Ch. 07

Cain opened his eyes. It was pitch black outside the window as well as inside the small room. It had started to rain steadily, the sound repetitive and soothing. As he came more fully out of the clutches of sleep he noticed another sound, a soft, barely there snoring. He immediately remembered that Malia Yate's curvy body was only inches away on the other side of Finn's bed.

He hadn't been overcome with attraction the first time he saw Malia Yates, nothing so dramatic. However, he found it more disturbing that his attraction to her had grown so rapidly and unexpectedly. At first he'd tried to tell himself that it was because she was unattainable. Usually women were throwing themselves at him consistently. Malia not only didn't throw herself at him, but she took every opportunity to defy him spitefully. She wasn't the only woman who refused to fawn over him, but she was the first courageous enough to stand up to him.

Of course he thought she was attractive, he'd planned on having her seduce and marry his brother. If he'd walked into the hospital to find someone plain or ugly he would have kept looking. But now he realized it wasn't simply the allure of the forbidden, it was something much more dangerous and unwanted than that. When Cain had fucked Milly he'd regretted it, as she had called incessantly as he'd expected. What he felt now was much more than regret, he felt a clawing in his stomach that was a lot like fear. He feared the loss of control he always felt with her. She genuinely interested him and baffled him. She caused him to have strong reactions, for better or for worse. She antagonized him like none of his men would ever dare. Cain wasn't used to people questioning and especially challenging him, and she made an annoying habit of both.

She'd started to get under his skin from the beginning, in hindsight he could see that. When he'd saved her from being raped by Vincent Dutari he'd been inexplicably irritated at her lack of appreciation. Logically he knew that she didn't have any reason to trust him and she was shaken, but he argued with her anyway. She was alway arguing with him, over everything. He'd been shaken as well in that small cell, because it was the first time he'd realized his attraction to Malia was a little more than appreciation of a pretty face. When Vincent had slowly pulled the zipper of her jumpsuit down to reveal her plump breasts he'd had a moment where he didn't want to stop the man. Then he'd had a moment where he wanted to kill Vincent and continue the violent scene himself. He didn't know whether to laugh or yell at the irony of that thought now.

Cain wasn't patient by nature, but it was something he practiced and honed. Malia brought out his nature as if he'd honed no skills, as if he wasn't a general capable of many talents. She brought out a feral side of him that he didn't know still existed. When he'd spanked women in the past they'd wanted it. When Malia wouldn't stand down from the line of questions he didn't want to answer he'd had an uncontrollable urge to turn her white ass red. The part of him that wasn't panicking at his loss of control at the time had loved whipping her repeatedly. Eventually the logical side of his brain had taken over and asked him what the fuck he was doing. He planned on sending her out of the room immediately to regroup, but she'd continued with the same damn questions as if he hadn't blistered her ass. That was when he'd started to gain a little bit of respect for Malia Yates. That was also when he'd started to panic. He'd lost control, and he wasn't simply sparing words with her this time. He'd taken action against this infuriating little girl that he hadn't planned on taking, action that went directly against his plans for Tristan. He'd told her the bare minimum and thankfully she'd left the room, leaving him to think. Cain prided himself on his forethought and tactical planning. Every single encounter with Malia Yates begged to differ. So he'd tried to stop tempting himself, he'd tried to stop being around her altogether. It had worked until he found out her true identity.

When he'd found out that Malia wasn't Olivia he'd been furious. He hadn't held any of that rage back when he'd gotten back to Malia. He'd used Tristan being sick to his advantage. He'd made sure she was Malia and that her documentation was correct when he'd seen her fumbling around even simple medical procedures. He was entertained at her discomfort around sickness and injury, it had slightly lessened his personal injury to his ego. After he'd punished Malia and cooled down a little he realized that was furious at himself. As a general a mistake as big as that shouldn't have gotten through the cracks. After he was over the initial rage his respect for Malia grew. She'd taken the place of her sister without a second thought or a moment of hesitation. It was her instinct to protect her younger sister and Cain could relate to that.

She'd accused him of not loving his brother, an accusation that he wouldn't have wasted his time on with anyone else, but with her the comment mattered. He had been going to fuck her roughly, to wipe that annoying snarky look off of her face and to teach her who was in charge. She'd had to give that resigned innocent expression and make him go soft. Figuratively speaking at least, he thought with a grimace. No, he hadn't stopped, though he should have.

What the fuck was he doing? This was the woman that he'd hand chosen to marry his little brother. He was supposed to be doing Tristan a favor and instead he'd just taken his future bride's virginity. It might get awkward on Sunday dinners, Cain smirked cynically. She'd been a virgin, he should have known. He had highly suspected it, he'd definitely known that she wasn't very experienced, but a virgin? Cain pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. It should have stopped him; but her begging only excited him more, her resistance only gave him more drive to conquer her. Then she'd begged him once more, not to stop violating her, but to not make it hurt. He'd almost stopped then. He had started in a fit of rage from her accusations but it hadn't lasted past that look and those words. However, he hadn't stopped. Her eyes had been so big and shiny with tears, her hair like a black waterfall over the pillow, and her body so pliant and smooth beneath him. So instead of stopping, he'd tried to make her want him. He'd started to kiss her for her benefit, but then she'd kissed him back and made sweet little whimpering moans that drove him wild. When he'd released her hands from his belt he'd expected her to put a halt to it, but she'd grabbed his hair and clung to him. The sex was too good for comfort. She was dangerous to him, that much was clear. He'd asked Finn to trade houses for a week so he could be closer to the unit, to be closer to Denizen, and off the grid. Was it really Blake Denizen he wanted to get closer to? Or was it Malia all along? Cain made a noise of disgust and sat up on the bed. As he stood on the hardwood floor lightning lit up the room and Malia rolled around on the bed restlessly.

Cain walked into the kitchen to avoid staring at her again. He did that too much. He was surprised she didn't think he was some kind of freak. She probably did, he wouldn't blame her. It was just that she was an enigma to him. As soon as he thought he understood her she did something to throw him for a loop. It was highly frustrating for a man who prided himself on the ability to read people and understand their motivations. Thunder shook the house as the storm moved in. He flipped on the light as he passed it. He opened the fridge and stared at the cold beer that was well-stocked in Finn's house. He sighed longingly and grabbed the icy cold milk carton instead and took a long swig from the carton. He was standing in front of the fridge completely naked when he heard her behind him, in the archway.

"Want some?" Cain held up the carton without turning around.

"No." She nearly whispered in response.

When he closed the fridge door and turned to face her he was amused by the clear avoidance she showed to look at his nakedness. So instead of make it easy for her he simply ogled her, though she was covered with the white cotton sheet. Her hair curled at the ends as it brushed the edges of the sheet that covered her breasts. Before he got the chance to give her breasts further thought, she spoke.

"Pretty bad storm, huh?" She looked out the kitchen window to avoid looking at him.

"Yeah, well it is spring." Cain replied, annoyed at the small talk. "Did you follow me out here for round two?" He said snidely, trying to get a reaction from her.

She looked at him seriously and bit her lip. "I woke up from the thunder." She said as if it explained everything.

"Don't tell me you're scared of storms?"

"No. No I was just woken up and I wondered where you'd gone. Now I'm going to go to my own bed." She turned to leave, clearly embarrassed beyond capacity.

"The hell you are!" Cain yelled at her and she stopped.

"Wha-What?" She turned to look at him and looked scared.

"Don't look at me like that. You aren't going to slink away to bed before we talk about some things." What was he doing! He didn't want to talk about anything, especially with her. He just didn't want her to go to bed terrified of him. Which was the motivation he'd had to fuck her in the first place, to terrify her. He didn't want to think about what had changed.

"Such as?" He hated the way her voice had lost its smart ass tone. She wasn't challenging him anymore and it made her seem damaged to him.

He leaned against the fridge and crossed his arms across his chest. She reluctantly looked at him when she ran out of things in the kitchen to pretend to be fascinated with. But she firmly looked at his face which made him grin. She raised her eyebrows and intentionally looked down his body over-lecherously. He laughed, finally she didn't look like she was scared that he was going to attack her. "Enjoying the view?"

"Is that what you wanted to talk about, your physique? Because honestly, I think you could work out more. I mean did you see Finn before he left? His arms are impressive, and I could see his abs through that shirt. How must that look, him being your subordinate? But then I guess he is younger than you, it really isn't a fair competition."

He narrowed his eyes at her. He knew he was being baited but couldn't help picturing his friend in his mind's eye. He'd never really thought about Finn's body before but he definitely was in shape, all of his men were. However Cain was also in shape, they actually had similar physiques, though Finn was a couple of inches shorter. "Oh really? Is he that impressive?" He pushed himself off of the fridge with his shoulder. "You think his arms are more impressive than mine?" He flexed his biceps as he slowly advanced towards her. He repeated with his forearms. Her eyes were glued to him. "You think he has more impressive abs?" He looked down at his stomach and flexed his six pack. She bit her lip nervously. "Hm, well I suppose he would seem more impressive than me." He stopped and feigned a thoughtful look. Then he looked at her dead on. "Ah but there is a piece of my anatomy that is significantly larger than your precious Finn's." Her eyes showed her shock and embarrassment. "I've known the man his entire life. We've played sports together when we were younger, not to mention the weeks at a time we've spent together on missions. It's given me plenty of opportunity to get a nice look at his itty…bitty…tiny…chicken legs. I swear the man has the scrawniest legs I've ever seen. It is very disproportional, it looks quite ridiculous." Cain moved his leg in front of his body, flexing his calf. She rolled her eyes and started laughing. He smiled, watching her laugh.

"What did you think I was talking about Malia?" He was right in front of her now.

She was still laughing when she looked up at him. "You know what I thought you were going to say."

He wanted to kiss her, which scared him because he shouldn't want to kiss her. He'd wanted to make sure she wasn't irreparably traumatized and now he was flirting with her. Lightning flashed through the kitchen followed almost simultaneously by thunder as the rain pelted angrily against the roof and windows. Malia jumped, her smile dying instantly as she looked at the small window suspiciously. He was going to bed before he did anything else that he would regret later. He walked past her toward the hallway and she turned to face his back.

"Goodnight Malia." He said without facing her. He turned as he got to the door and looked at her silhouette at the start of the hallway. "Oh, and Malia, " He said, she looked up at his face. "I also have a much larger dick than Finn." He said straight faced and he walked into his borrowed bedroom and closed the door as he smiled, and then he mentally cursed himself because he was clearly loosing his mind.

Malia stood in the kitchen for a minute trying to process the exchange between Cain and herself. He was actually playful, very playful, while she was just conflicted. She was more attracted to Cain than she'd ever been to anyone, there was no point in denying it when she'd only be lying to herself. But she couldn't respect herself for the events that had occurred earlier that night. He'd given her the chance to stop him when he'd released her hands, and what had she done? She'd caressed the man. She felt shame run through her veins at the embarrassing memory. She wasn't that girl, at least she hadn't thought she was, that girl that swooned over any masculine attention that was thrown her way. She wasn't this needy emotional wreck that she'd been acting like recently. She didn't know who she was anymore.

This was Cain's fault. He was so damn charming when he turned it on. Yet when he didn't want to be charming he could be an absolute monster. She wasn't strong willed enough to tame him, she wasn't sure there was a woman on the earth that was. Thunder crashed outside the window again, causing her to jump and make an embarrassing squeaking sound. She walked into her assigned room and pulled back the cold covers. She didn't like storms, but she wasn't debilitatingly afraid of them. The small shack at the unit didn't provide much of a barrier from the light and sound of a thunderstorm which caused her to be more timid than she would have been naturally. She was worried at how comfortable sleeping next to Cain had been. They hadn't cuddled next to each other but his body heat was palpable from the small distance between them and his weight depressing the mattress caused her to slightly lean to his side of the bed. The entire effect was much too cozy for her liking. She was worried about how she would avoid Cain for the entire week.

And what would her parents think? They would never know of coarse. She had lost her virginity to the monster that had kidnapped her. She hadn't even resisted when the moment had arrived. Her mother would have been so disappointed if she knew. Malia turned her head into the plush pillow and screamed. She didn't even know how to feel, she was overwhelmed. And she had liked it! She had came with him inside of her, and she liked it. She wanted to cry and scream and throw things, but the relentless storm kept her under the cold quilt.

The rape, if she could call it that anymore, had been so unexpected to her. Cain said that he hadn't thought that she was attractive. She had seen the slim blond that he'd slept with. Malia didn't consider herself ugly, but she wasn't comparable to her. She wasn't fat, but she wasn't petite like the blond. Thunder shook the small cabin, causing a shiver to run up her spine. She wished she had someone in the bed, she was so used to sharing. Not Cain surely. Maybe she should beg for a dog or something. She could see Cain with a dog, nothing too small and girly, something he could throw a stick or ball to. She was surprised he didn't have a pet, he seemed so lonely. Malia caught her track of thoughts, this isn't what she used to think about the man. When she'd seen his porch she hadn't thought it possible for him to even have friends. Now she could easily picture him joking with Finn and Tristan as he grilled something and children ran through the big yard. Malia gasped audibly. She was picturing him as her dream man. When had she started doing that? Why would she start doing that? It was the most self destructive, stupid thing she could have possibly done. Cain was not husband material, nor did he want to be her husband. Malia firmly lambasted herself. She needed to stop thinking of Cain in those terms, before she did something critically stupid, like fall in love with him. She bit her lip as she hoped it wasn't too late.

Malia didn't remember actually going to sleep. It felt as if she blinked and it was morning; the sun was shining through the two windows in the room. She groaned and rolled over, pushing her face into the plush pillow but someone was knocking incessantly on the door. She groaned again, there was really only one possibility as to who was on the other side.

"Wake up!" Cain yelled through the door. "Get ready, we're leaving in fifteen." She opened one eye to see the door was still closed. She sat up slowly, wincing when the soreness hit her. She was still naked and wanted to get dressed as soon as possible. She opened small closet and saw several dresses hung up, but there were actually jeans next to them. She grabbed some worn looking jeans with a hole in the knee, and a pale pink t-shirt. She was happy to not have to wear another dress, but it didn't overshadow her dread of facing Cain again. Where was he planning on going? Why did she have to go with him? Why were they even here instead of at his house? Her curiosity was slightly stronger than her desire to stay where she was.

Cain was sitting at the small kitchen table when she found him. He was dressed in his usual black suit and had a half eaten bagel in front of him. He looked her over when she entered the room, paying special attention to her jeans instead of a usual dress.

"Where are we going?" She dared him to say something about the jeans with her eyes.

"I'm going to a meeting, change into something else." He didn't even sound demanding, as if he were assuming that she would blindly obey him in all things. If he thought that their sexual encounter had made her a pushover he was sadly mistaken. Malia was vowing to actively forget anything had even happened.

She simply ignored him and looked for something to eat for breakfast. She would just pretend like nothing had happened. He surely didn't look like he was affected in anyway whatsoever, and hell would have to freeze over before she would be the first to fold. She found some sugary cereal and made herself a bowl. She walked past the table with her bowl to the recliner and turned the TV on. He looked at her the entire time, she acted like he didn't exist.

He slowly walked into the living room and stood directly between her and the television. "I can't see." She said obviously, finally looking at his face. She wasn't afraid of him. At least that was what she was telling herself repeatedly. It was difficult not to show a little more fear in front of him. The night before he had shown her that she had a clear lack of physical power when faced with him. It was hard not to respect that, or at least to act like she didn't. However her pride was stronger than her fear. She would not let him think that just because he could act like a caveman he'd bested her. He didn't control her will and she would fight tooth and nail to keep it that way.