Call Me Old-Fashioned But...Breaking up is hard to do in a "wired world"

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I don't know about you, but I'm definitely
someone who opts for a "clean break,"
whenever possible. Regardless of whether
we're talking a business deal gone awry, a
messy split with a romantic partner, or a
desire to cease communications with someone
you're not quite certain as to how they
ended up on your friends list in the first
place, once the presumed benefit of continuing
the relationship has been lost, I frankly
don't see the point. Let's face it folks, we
can't be friends with everyone and if someone
no longer wishes to have us in their
lives, we should respect that.

Now, if you just interpreted what I stated
as self-serving, don't kid yourself - all relationships
are based on some idea of mutual
perk, even the seemingly altruistic ones. For
example, while it is true that people participate
in charity work to help those less fortunate,
some also do it because they receive
positive recognition from others in society, it
looks good on the old resume, and because it
provides oneself with a sense of purpose,
fulfillment and satisfaction that you are giving
back.

This "alliance strategy," of course, can be
traced back to our evolutionary history: it is
and always has been in the best interest of
any species to maintain strong ties to its kin
in order to ensure protection and survival of
its kind. Kin, in the modern sense of this perspective
then, can be defined as those with
whom you share the same values, morals,
attitudes, beliefs, passions and more – these
are the individuals with whom you already
have or wish to make a connection.

On the other side of things, there are those
with whom you've had falling outs, or those
whose values are dissonant to yours. From a
"survival" perspective, this latter group
stands in the way of the perpetuation of people
like yourself; therefore adding to their
"fitness" by expanding their network isn't in
your best interest. Make sense? In other
words, you are who you hang with.

So what does all of this have to do with
being "old-fashioned?" Well, frankly
because we live in such a "wired world," it's
next to impossible (particularly if you work
in the entertainment business, like myself) to
maintain any sense of anonymity.
Essentially what I'm trying to say is that
nowadays, even if you block all incoming
hate mail on one social networking site from
an established antagonist, you can easily
find yourself being "cyber-stalked" through
another or worse, having your identity
"mimicked" without even knowing it,
whereas eliminating delinquents from your
life, at one point, was as easy as changing
your phone number.

I've had ex-boyfriends from high school
with whom things ended extremely
unfavourably, along with my old high school
bullies, friend request me on Facebook - are
you kidding me? Why the hell would I want
anything to do with them? Moreover, why
the hell would they want anything to do with
me? I've still got my battle wounds, and
those are not really times I wish to ever
revisit. Thanks.

While admittedly, people are far too freewheeling
about the level of personal detail
they are willing to put online, I also feel that
the idea of privacy is being reduced to a
whole new level because of social networking
sites and the web.

The other day, for example, a teenaged
girl got suspended by her school because
someone anonymously sent her principal a
photo, stolen from her Facebook page,
which showed her participating in underage
drinking. Agreed, this is an illegal act that
should be sanctioned, but seeing as the
drinking did NOT occur on school grounds,
and the photo was likely submitted by one of
the girl's adversaries, I really don't feel that
the principal was justified in getting
involved. If anything, he should have contacted
the girl's parents and allowed them to
deal with her as they saw fit.

The points I'm trying to make here are as
follows: First, it is never in proper taste to air
one's dirty laundry publicly. Also, be
respectful of others' desires to maintain their
privacy. I mean, considering how easy it is
to track people down these days, if they
wanted you to be in their lives, you likely
already would be. Finally, if someone has
decided they feel it is necessary to "cut you
out," accept it; continuing communications,
after all, is only likely to merit you a higher
place on their shit list.

Interrobang

The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd in London, Ontario and distributed throughout the Fanshawe College community.