Tuesday, April 12, 2011

No TG content today. It's just a little review of my flights to Colorado Springs. If you're interested, read on. If not, well, I won't be insulted.

I flew to Colorado Springs on the only direct flight there is each day. Too late, I found out that I could have met up with a reader or two in Denver, if I only connected through. Who knows ~ maybe I could have arranged to finish in Denver, change, and drive to Colorado Springs. It's no longer than my Richmond drive, really.

The outbound flight was advertised as on-time, but once we got on, the flight crew said we were "too heavy" and three people had to get off, are there any volunteers? Then they added a $400 voucher, an overnight hotel stay, and a meal voucher. Three people volunteered ~ and they decided a fourth had to go too. They were about to vote someone off the plane when the guy across the aisle volunteered. Then they decided they could put the luggage they removed (!) back on. Then they decided they could put the last volunteer back on, so the guy they just tossed came walking back onto the plane. I'm not sure who's luggage they planned to leave behind, or if the people they jettisoned had nothing to wear, but I got to Colorado Springs only 90 or so minutes late. We had to take on extra weight in the form of extra fuel to divert over Lake Erie to pass the storms that were heading east.

The return flight had its own weirdness. Everything went on schedule, or close enough, but the drink cart was accompanied by a large fly. A Very Large Fly. A Jeff Goldblum sized fly. The flight attendants made some comments on how annoying the fly was. I had a coffee, and as I took the cup, the fly landed on my wrist. I've been bitten by deer flies before and hadn't liked it, so I put down the cup and shook him off. He landed again. I shook him off. He landed again. I shook him off. He landed...

...right in my coffee. And he died instantly.

I said "the fly won't bother you any more. He's in my coffee."

I also said "I thought this was a no-fly zone."

I also said "I missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I didn't say 'waitress, what's this fly doing in my coffee?'"