At the first hurdle

Timeline: Tuesday evening.
Designation: Fuck night.

At the office, it had been a tough day for my Wife.
When She got home, it was a tough evening for both of us as parents. Especially for Her.
As I cooked supper She retired to the sofa to work surrounded by clouds of angst.
As I’d tidied up after supper, She returned to the sofa to work, still wrapped in those same clouds.

Hope ebbed.
Whilst you and many of your cohorts, Supportive Reader, may have been expecting fireworks, and despite my hopes and fantasies of the morning, I was starting to anticipate only disappointment. And with Her stress levels as they were, I saw little point in reminding Her that it was Tuesday night. Fuck night.

To my surprise, a little before 10pm, She put the laptop down and invited me to snuggle up with Her.
A good sign.
We watched something inconsequential on TV and then, before it got particularly late, She suggested we go to bed.
Another good sign.
In bed we cuddled.
A good sign, but …Her: Not a good day.Me: No.
Not a good sign.
Her stress was too near the surface. It didn’t need articulating.
Despite my desire to fuck, my intent to follow through on our resolution, the old ghosts were back for me. Too much of Her stress = Too many reasons for me to avoid sex.

She disentangled and rolled away.

We didn’t fuck.

If you want to see an upside, the thought was there. Obviously it was there in my head; probably more significantly it was there in Her head. Whether it will stay there is another matter. We’ll all have to wait till the weekend.

She’s different from my point of view. Maybe you are the one who is seeing her differently too. I can’t tell but something is better. At least there is progress AM and you love her so it may not be what you want YET but it seems like it can move in that direction…and kids, little kids are damn cute and wonderful but they have the ability to suck the life out of you. Good thing that only lasts until they’re in their teenage angst years. xoxoxo, J