A walker noticed an old lady sitting on her front step, so he walked up to her and said, 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look

What is your secret?'

'I smoke ten cigars a day,' she said. 'Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On week-ends, I pop pills, get laid, and do no other exercise at all.'