To tell or not to tell

This is a discussion on To tell or not to tell within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ok, so here is my deal, I'm kind of conflicted on this issue. I carry, and my wife and kids are all very aware of ...

To tell or not to tell

Ok, so here is my deal, I'm kind of conflicted on this issue. I carry, and my wife and kids are all very aware of it, and all know not to tell others, and if they want to ask about it in public, to use the code word. Where I struggle is with some of the people I am friends with, and work with. Because, I want to encourage responsible gun ownership. I am very careful who and how I tell. But have found that most of the time I when approached carefully the subject, it is a none issue. That said, most of the time I never say that I am carrying, just that I have a license. So what is the balance between, tactical advantage, not "scaring the sheep", but sharing with people, and showing people that most gun owners are responsible, normal people?

A vast majority of my close friends also carry and we all go shooting together. With people you don't know as well, you have to tread lightly and carefully. Each situation is different and you have to read the person and subject matter of the conversation. I've had all positive experiences talking about it with one exception when a girl pulled a Fred Sanford holding her chest act. By the end of the conversation, she had her feet back on the ground and was talking about shooting a 22 with her boyfriend. It ended ok, but it was a little iffy for a bit.

Note: I have to know the person somewhat before I'd say anything. I have converted a number of people that I know and/or work with so it can be a great opportunity to educate.

A vast majority of my close friends also carry and we all go shooting together. With people you don't know as well, you have to tread lightly and carefully. Each situation is different and you have to read the person and subject matter of the conversation. I've had all positive experiences talking about it with one exception when a girl pulled a Fred Sanford holding her chest act. By the end of the conversation, she had her feet back on the ground and was talking about shooting a 22 with her boyfriend. It ended ok, but it was a little iffy for a bit.

Note: I have to know the person somewhat before I'd say anything. I have converted a number of people that I know and/or work with so it can be a great opportunity to educate.

I had the opportunity to convert someone a while back, from,"I don't own a gun, to "my son almost stepped on a mountain lion on vacation", to "I bought a gun", to "me and my sons go to the range a couple of times a month now"

Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”
Jeff Cooper

Outside of my wife, and my father, there are only two or three really close friends who know that I carry. And we all go shooting together. You are probably in the best position to decide who to tell, but my best piece of advice is to tell as few people as possible. First you just never know how people react. Second, if a situation does arise people will act differently if they know you have a gun. It's best that it's a surprise for everyone involved in my opinion

My advice if you're so concerned on the issue: Get a read on folks before you tell them you carry. Just mention you like to go shoot every so often and let the conversation flow from there. You'll get a vibe one way or the other on whether to tell them more.

Me, I've made several friends because of both letting it be known that I shoot every so often, as well as let a couple of acquaintances and co-workers know that I have my CHCL. I've gained several shooting buddies as well as gotten them involved enough to get started saving for a firearm (if they didn't already have one) and/or to set aside the funds for the CHCL class and license. Wouldn't've happened if I kept the "concealed means concealed" mantra running thru my head like a mindless automation.

I'm not advocating wearing a t-shirt saying "I have a gun and know how to use it!", just that I'd never convert folks to a more active 2A mindset if I didn't take a chance once in a while....

I'm fairly open with people I know. My wife and I have seen several AG turn PG in the last two years. The fact that I carry has never been an issue to anyone; even with my friends who do not like firearms.

However, I "DO" keep quiet around people I do NOT know. But, I always try to find a way to make a "convert". (Whether it's a convert for Christ; or for guns) The "only" way you can convert people is by talking to them.

As to losing "tactical" advantage. I think nobody but, the criminal has a "tactical" advantage. (He's the only one who knows if you will be selected as a victim.) But, that discussion has been hashed and re-hashed over & over again; and that discussion belongs in another thread.

I can only tell you that at one time I thought is was silly to keep it secret. I was open and encouraged others to get their permit too. I would share with anyone who wanted to know.

It's too long of a story to tell here but to my shock, suddenly one afternoon my openness almost cost me my job, though I never carried at work. My mental competence and stability were also brought in to question. Additionally, I would have lost my retirement. It put serious strain on a couple relationships and deeply hurt my family financially. I ended up taking an early retirement that I'm too young to access without penalty and now work for 1/2 the pay I used to get. My permit was also threatened because of their lies. Oh yes, there are some powerful people who hate you having guns!

I adopted my signature because of this experience and I will NEVER tell again! (Except where required by law)

I never imagined the hell someone else could create for you because they know you carry a gun.

I'm fairly open about carrying. I've made it known that I've no time nor desire to play spy games or cloak and dagger. I carry. It's on my hip. If you see it, you see it. If you don't, you don't. I may have my shirt tucked in...like today ...or might shirt might cover it but print like crazy. I might have a jacket on, I might not.

I field questions responsibly if they are asked. If it's someone I know I usually offer to go to the range with them. The more non chalant (sp?) I am about it...the easier it is for other to accept.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers --- Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

My carrying is concealed, not top secret. I have talked to plenty of folks about it. Though I'm not making myself out to be a mind reader, if I am having a decent conversation with someone I know a little bit I'm not concerned that it will affect any "tactical advantage" I might have. I don't expect to need my firearm against the people I would talk about it with. And I OC regularly too.