Maria Menounos is still in Miami, so that means she has more than one bikini. Because after living there for 8 months once, I know that’s all women wear in Miami. They also date club promoters and more than likely have a family member who is a Cuban refugee who might have just stabbed somebody while I was typing this. Maria Menounos isn’t Cuban, she’s Greek, so she probably couldn’t afford Maldives because weekly whole body laser hair removal treatments cost money. She does have a great ass though, and I just ordered a lamb gyro with extra cucumber sauce, so I feel like we’d have a lot to talk about. Hey, Maria. Call me.