Unmentionables: What are you wearing beneath your suit?

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Today, reader J has an interesting question that kind of reminds us of David Lat’s first blog, Underneath Their Robes…

I’d love to hear what the gals are wearing under all these fabulous dresses and suits. I love my Spanx hide & sleek full slip for wearing under dresses to keep them from clinging, and have noticed my clothes fit better after I recently went in for a bra fitting and bought some new ones. I’d love to hear about new brands or other tips for pulling the outfit together from underneath it all.

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Spanx came up on our Twitter chat this morning, and it strikes us as a great question, and one we’ll throw to the readers. So, readers: What bra do you have in multiples, it’s so comfortable? What brands of shapewear do you like? Thong, boyshort, or other? Let’s talk brands, type, and more! (Tip: if you’re talking bra, please post your bra size — there can be a big difference in comfort to someone who’s 30G and someone who’s 36A.)

Comments

Would love to hear tips from anyone who has narrow sloping shoulders. Unless I wear a racerback bra, I spend ALL day pulling at the straps of my bra because they never stay up. Unfortunately a racerback means I can’t wear half of my shirts because the bra straps show since they’re so close to your neck (or I wear them with a non-racerback and pull on the straps all day). I’m probably due for another bra-fitting since my weight has fluctuated but I think I’m a 34B. Any advice would be much appreciated!

Have you tried the silicone bra straps? I don’t have narrow sholders, but I love them with tanks because 1) their clear and 2) the silicone grips my skin better than regular straps. Personally, I’m a big fan of Victoria’s Secret Secret Embrace bras because they come with the silicone straps that be interchanged.

Oh dear. If you mentioned loving them with tanks because they are clear – they are still visible. If that is the look you are going for, great! But if not, you either need a different bra or a different tank.

Oh gosh no! VBS is not kosher regardless of the color (or lack there of) of the straps. I more prefer them for the grib factor, but just wanted to mention they are clear so if they peak out it’s not nearly as obvious.

I have this problem too! One thing I’ve found that works is to buy a “convertible” bra that has multiple options for where the straps can go in the back. This is typically meant so you can wear the straps criss-cross, but you can also just put the straps in the closer-in setting, which helps keep them on the shoulders. Chantelle has a couple of types like this.

The other tip I’ve been given (but never done…but probably should…) is to take your bra and have it altered where they move the strap placement in the back toward the center by a half inch or so (same concept as above). The fitter who told me to do this said it was a cheap & easy fix.

i have this problem too – try petite bras, which have a narrower shoulder set. though i’m not petite in clothing, many of my bras (34A) are petite (sigh). my favorites are calvin klein’s “perfectly fit” line. wacoal also makes great petite bras. nordstrom and macy’s carry the petite lines, as does lula lu petite lingerie (http://www.lulalu.com/) which carries a wonderful range of sizes on the smaller end of the spectrum, including lots of petite bras and hard to find sizes like AA.

You could get straps shortened, look for a brand that has straps that can be adjusted so they are completely doubled (as opposed to just halfway doubled), or buy one of these fasteners that hold the two straps together across your back (they sell these in lingerie stores).

Thanks very much for the advice ladies! This problem has followed me through a number of different sizes, brands, styles, adjustable straps, etc. but you guys gave some great hints I hadn’t considered before! Can’t wait to try them out! (I can’t believe I never thought to take them to a tailor and have them move the straps closer to the center in back considering I did that with every bridesmaids dress I ever wore!)

Most lingerie departments sell pieces you can put onto your bra straps in back to make them more like a racerback. They are usually around $5 and it should have the same effect as moving the straps closer together in the back.

I recently found that the Aerie bra’s are really great for no-slip straps. I have the same problem and these are the first bras that actually stay up all day–I wear the Paige and Emma styles. Both have push-up, especially the Emma (adds an entire cup size), but I’m a 34A so that’s not a bad thing for me. Plus the Emma actually has little air pocket inserts that are removable so that it then fits like a Paige.

This – absolutely. Balconette bras don’t work for me at all, as I’ve got incredibly narrow shoulders, but full cups are much better. There are some stylish full cups out there, but they’re not as easy to find, unfortunately.

I have the same problem — have you tried a balconette (sp?) style? the straps are closer to the center of your shoulders than many styles and seem better balanced to me. They don’t look that way in pictures, but that’s how they have performed for me. (34DD)

For anything sleeveless, sew a small piece of 1/4″ ribbon into the shoulder seam to snap around your bra strap. Just sew one end of the ribbon to the seam allowance on the arm side, and a snap on the other end of the ribbon and the seam allowance on the neck side. Snap it around your bra strap and either both bra and shirt strap slip or neither do–either way, your bra strap doesn’t show.

And ANYBODY can sew a little piece of ribbon and a snap, so there’s no need for a tailor.

I used to wear thongs all the time and now I can’t tolerate them. They feel like dental floss between my butt cheeks and I hate the way I get a wedgie from my pants when I wear them. Alas, I also hate panty lines so I wear skirts and dresses a lot.

If anyone can recommend comfortable underwear that doesn’t cause pantylines under today’s styles (which are mostly snug around the hips), I’d love to hear about it!

I did this once (by accident, grabbed the wrong size). But the fit is far, far better. Typically though, I wear this mesh/lace panties from Victoria’s Secret. They’re not too low (helping to conceal a lower belly pooch) and are full coverage in the back.

I love On Gossamer underwear and have been wearing them for years now. I started with the thong, but mentally, I didn’t like them (they felt fine, in fact, I couldn’t feel them at all but I knew it was there and that bothered me). I switched to the boy shorts and have never had a problem with VPL– even with white pants! I am an 8-10 on the bottom and wear a L in the boy shorts.

OnGossamer is the only thong I’ll wear. I buy them one size too big, and I barely feel them. They’re a bit pricey, but just try a basic black and see what you think. Also, don’t wash in hot water and don’t dry. I try to wash by hand, but who has time for that? I usually wash in cold on the delicate cycle and hang dry.

And this might be gross, but I have had undies from them for YEARS! Because they are made of nylon, they really do last forever. I don’t mean like 2 years–I mean I have some OnGossamer pairs that are going on Year 6 and 7. (Granted, I have a huge undies drawer, but….)

Don’t judge – but I LOVE the Hanes ones at target – tagless, seamless. I think they call them tissue? Only issue is they come in a 2 pack and they never have all black and they are so small my dryer eats them. I get the small bikins and the boyshorts. I looked on the target website but couldn’t find.

I second the Hanes rec! I was stuck overnight in the Middle of Nowhere, USA recently on a business trip and had to buy underwear for the next day. I picked these up at Target (the only store in the town, I think) and have been in love with them ever since!

Up until I was about 14 or so, my mom picked out and purchased all my underwear – always of the high rise variety. And then she would give me a hard time that my underwear was coming up above my pants. I thought there was something completely wrong with my body causing this to happen. Thanks, mom.

I just got those a few weeks ago and they’re great! I was a little doubtful that the small size would fit since they looked so tiny in the box, but love them so far. I always make sure to put them in a lingerie bag so they don’t get lost during the washing process.

My favorite bra for work is the “Vanity Fair Bra, Body Superior Support Underwire Bra.” I own it in basically every color (and in size 38D). It provides great, smooth coverage with the must have fully adjustable straps and three hook and eye closures in the back for maximum support. Best part is that it’s frequently on sale at Macy’s or Kohls. Right now it’s only $16, so I may have to pick up a few! http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=215993&CategoryID=39987

K, sounds like you need a new bra size, I would guess, or a different brand of bra with more adjustable straps. My sister also has sloping shoulders and hasn’t had this problem.

Right now I am wearing nursing bras, which are not my favorite – no underwires and I wear them a bit looser than regular bras so as to avoid mastitis (which I have had twice already, ugh). Also right now my boobs are big, big – 36-38DD or E. Normally I am about a 36B-C. I usually wear Vicky’s body by victoria bras, since they are good for t-shirts, no show-through, etc. I wear thongs from Vicky’s and Gap, with either lace or string sides.

I only wear spanx on special occasions and/or when I am newly pregnant and trying to hide it. They are too uncomfortable for everyday wear. I wear tights (Gap tall size) in the winter with skirts.

Does anyone else have problems with Spanx camis and slips riding up/down around your curves? I have a pretty big hip to waist ratio and a tapered ribcage, and got a strapless Spanx full slip that seemed like a wonderful solution. But when I get the right fit in the waist, it rides up around my hips and down around my ribcage. Is this a size issue or is Spanx just worthless for hourglass figures?

Same here! I love the idea of spanx, but on my figure (size 6 bottom, 32C top), they do not work. I am also pretty hourglass and have trouble with things not staying put. Hourglass ladies, any suggestions on other brands to try?

I have a very hourglass shape (34c, 26, 40) and I have the strapless spanx full slip too…I haven’t had too much problem with riding up, but I did notice that the strapless top slides down a lot, particularly if I’m bending at the waist very much. But I also have a verrrrry long torso which is what I attribute this to…otherwise I really like it!

I cannot stand underwire, and have been very happy with Warner’s “No Wires/No Worries” styles. I wear a 36B. They have a very smooth cup with just enough thickness to prevent any “show through” but not enough to look padded.

Recently switched to Target’s house brand of all-cotton panties, Gilligan O’Malley I think its called. I had been wearing Jockey French Cut for years, but with the new lower waistband style trousers had become very conscious of occasionally showing too much upper panty! Now wearing bikini cuts. I know, I know, I’m probably the last woman my age to wear bikinis…

Tried the Gilligan O’Malley boy shorts, but just couldn’t get used to that big a change in leg opening.

I have narrow sloping shoulders and the exact same annoying problem as you do with bra straps. It drives me nuts. For the last year or so, I have worn a “strap perfect”–yes, from the infomercials–every single day. They are not very attractive, and they do stretch out my bra straps, but atleast they keep them up!! Not ideal, I know. But it helps. :)

i’m a 32DD and i love my champion sports bras. I wear them every day. They have two “cups” so there’s no uni-boob and they’re only slightly minimizing, so not a lot of boob-squashing. Downside is that they admittedly look like grandma bras. I recently discovered Chantelle and they rank highly on my list too (and don’t look like old lady undergarments).

38D here, have several styles of Chantelle bras – I love the fit and the look, and they’ve lasted well for me. Haven’t tried the Icone bra, though I was checking it out recently…I’m slowly trying to replace all of my cheaper bras….

Don’t wear shapewear all the time, but a decent compromise I’ve found is the Flexees fat-free tanks/camisoles. Limited colors, but they are smoothing, not confining, which is what I need on an average day.

Unfortunately I’ve not yet found the miracle panty. I’ve got proportionally narrow hips and a flat butt, so the balance between the need to keep undies in place with my desire for no VPL is a delicate one. Hanky Panky thongs or boyshorts will work for many things, but I do need to be careful to grab something a bit “grabbier” when wearing looser-fitting pants or especially skirts w/o tights. I do have a pair of Pure Lime seamless panties which are great in terms of staying in place when I’m out for a run!

I’m a 36B and swear by Wacoal and Donna Karan bras. Not cheap but usually available at discount stores or on sale at Bloomies. These are the only brands that I find comfortable for a looooong day in the office.

I’m also a huge fan of the Maidenform strapless bra. I think it’s the “one fabulous fit.” They usually have them for $10 at century 21 (for you nyc gals). I have four, and even had one stitched into my wedding dress.

I hate both thongs and panty lines. I am also broke AND find anything other than cotton uncomfortable. That microfiber stuff that a lot of women’s “no shows” are made of really irritates my skin. It’s supposed to be super breathable and comfortable but I find the opposite! Sorry if TMI… but does anyone else have that problem?

I finally just started buying men’s boxer briefs at H&M. They are mostly cotton, actually come in a lot of cute colors, are very comfortable, DO NOT SHOW*, and do not ride up (for some reason, boyshorts from other brands always ride up on me). They are about 3 for $12. Maybe I could get the same effect in the women’s department if I were able to buy more expensive brands, but that’s not an option for me right now, and I like my solution. You can try other brands besides H&M but you have to be careful that you don’t buy the kind with leg bands.

*However, they may peek above the waistband of lower-rise pants, so you have to make sure your shirt is long enough to cover and/or tucked in. Which, in my opinion, you should be doing anyway when at work. : )

interesting idea. if you don’t mind me asking, what size are you and what size men’s underwear do you buy? i would like to try this but i would think, as a size 6, i’m smaller than most dudes. maybe an XS would work?

I don’t mind, I meant to include that. I am a 6 petite in clothing, but a large in panties usually (at Victoria’s secret, anyway). I have an hour glass figure, and a quite rounded bottom (I mention this because I think that my shape makes me wear a larger size) .

I wear the men’s small from H&M and they fit nice and snug. I tried on my bf’s mediums and I think they would work in a pinch…

I’m really grateful for this thread bc I have been eager to share my discovery with others! :)

they are the only boyshorts I’ve found that don’t ride up for me. I think it’s because they are cut more like boxer briefs than boyshorts. I got them in a 3 pack at WalMart for cheap. (And I totally know what you mean about the microfiber underwear, it doesn’t work for me either).

Thanks! these actually look like they would work the same as the H&M ones and white is the one color H&M doesn’t have. I should also say that on further reflection, they are more like $9 for 3 pair (the more elaborate prints are 12 but I stick with mostly solids. But my black pinstripes are my favorite.)

It’s funny because I am by no stretch a tomboy..but this is where I arrived in desperation.

The other thing I forgot to mention about the H&M boxers is that they do not have any flap, seaming, or opening in the front…They basically look like really short spandex bike shorts. I would think that would make it uncomfortable for guys.

And what really baffles me is that the “for women” version you recommend DOES have seaming details on the front. Anyone have a theory on why this is?

I recently got fitted at Nordstrom’s and bought the Le Mystere Tisha style 9955. I love it! It’s the perfect bra for under t-shirts or anything thin. It’s incredibly comfortable. I wear a size smaller – 38D instead of 38DD – than I do in other brands (Le Mystere goes from D to E and the E is apparently a bit larger than most brands’ DD).

I also am going to give another shout out for culotte slips, AKA pettipants. Hideously ugly, and amazingly practical and comfortable for those of us who walk to work or otherwise don’t want our thighs rubbing under our skirts. I buy them at JC Penney or on Amazon.

Oh, and I love hi-cut cotton panties. My main underwear problem is my panties getting tugged down over my narrow hips by my skirt or pants as I walk. Hi-cuts start very high up on the hip, but the waist is not as high as a brief. I buy some random brand of them at Filene’s, 6-pack of multiple colors and patterns for $9.99.

And one more thing – I love Spanx fabulous footless for under pants when it’s cold outside. They’re more comfortable than Spanx shapers, but they still seem to make my butt look perkier while also keeping me warm.

I walk four miles round trip to/from work and then everywhere else too so I understand the chafing issue all too well. Extra layers in the summer are SO miserable, but so are friction-injured thighs. I swear by Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder-Gel. Tube at home, in the office, in my purse. If they ever stop making it, I’ll cry.

Do you find they are less likely to slip down and show at the hem? I have always wanted to try this type of slip….(before my amazing H&M discovery I thought about wearing them on top of regular undies with pants to prevent VPL).

I am all about ugly but functional underwear, on the bottom at least. :)

I’ve never had a problem with slippage, but I can’t recall having a problem with slippage with normal slips either, so possibly it’s due to body shape or wearing the wrong size? Skirts and slips tend to slide up, not down, on me.

No, but the ones I have are sort of long – almost knee length. They don’t seem to move around too much. But I only wear them under looser skirts. For pencil skirts I usually just wear bike shorts then take the bike shorts off when I get to work (be sure you wear a lined skirt or slip with bike shorts or the skirt will cling to them).

I have to say I had NO idea that such a type of slip existed. Honestly, I’m kind of excited to go find one. I vastly prefer to wear skirts rather than pants for work, but HATE the uncomfortable chaffing.

Okay, ladies, try not to judge me overmuch for the corniness of the website I am going to recommend, but, take a look at the Vermont Country Store website (I can’t post links or my posts don’t post.) Click on apparel, then “Women’s Intimates.” Whatever you do, if your screen faces the door (and even if it doesn’t), don’t click on “Lingerie Shop.” While I can’t exactly claim it’s NSFW, it’s definitely TEFW (Too Embarrassing for Work). Anyhow, in the “Women’s Intimates” section, click on “Slips,” and they have the culotte-type slip in cotton and in nylon. They also, interestingly, have “Snip to Fit Pant Liners,” which clam to solve the problem of unlined pants so many of us have noted.

(Also, in the “Camisoles and Undershirts” section they have the underarm shield/liners a few folks brought up last week as being available at sewing or dressmaker stores. I just order them from here.)

You will definitely have to sift through the chaff to find the wheat on this website but, it is useful for “notions” and other things that five-and-ten stores used to sell.

Never heard of Vermont Country Store before, but I’m having a blast looking at it today. You can buy a real washboard, a sock monkey, and a rabbit fur hat to make a little girl “feel like a princess.” Too amusing!

Yep, just look in the fuddy-duddy section of your local retailer! Once you get over the fact that you’re buying something called a “pettipant” you’ll love them. Vermont Country Store even used to have a 100% cotton style for those of us who love natural fabrics.

I also love the Pettipants. I’ve bought them at Sears. Think about where your grandma buys stuff, and look there!

I have worn them under pants- a size smaller with wide leg pants. I have several suits with inexplicably unlined pants. After sitting for 10 minutes the wrinkles at the hips in the front are terrible. The pettipants fix that.

thank you thank you thank you thank you, I wondered about culotte slips since you mentioned them before. I need them!
And I totally agree, Spanx is NOT the right choice when you’re walking any sort of distance – those things are HOT

For bras, I’m a 34D, and get the VS Ipex full coverage (which I think have been discontinued, but they still pop up in the semi-annual sale) or Body by Victoria full coverage. Both kinds have a slight minimizing effect, which is great for my size.

For spanx, etc…I only do this when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY (wedding, interview, work function). I tend to sweat/overheat easily, and these things are terrible for that. The one I use most often is basically a very high-waisted panty.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a 32C/D wireless bra (probably a D)? I’ve noticed that some brands seem to advertise having the size, but I have trouble finding anything in 32 above a B in wireless varieties. C/D cups for a 32 aren’t particularly large, so I am not sure why there aren’t more of these types available.

Have you checked the Vicky’s Body and Secret Embrace collections? I’m pregnant now and can’t stand underwire and the Body collection has been absolutely wonderful. The cups are nicely built and it provides great support.

Every time I go into VS and ask for a 32C/D they give me a strange look and try to shove me into a 34B. I find it really frustrating and annoying, so I can’t say I shop there anymore. With the wireless especially, there’s no way I can fit into a 34.

I used to have the same problem but lately the VS by me has been carrying 32D and even 32DD. There are less colors and they aren’t in every style but the basics and newer bras are all in a 32D. You can get them on the website. I also love La Senza for 32 D bras. It is basically the Canadian Victoria Secret and is less expensive. If you are going to order from there, I suggest ordering quite a bit at one time because it is flat rate shipping to the U.S. so they just charge you 13.00 regardless of if you have one item or 30. Good luck!

Really?? I am a 32 DD and I have never seen a single bra my size at VS! They always suggest a 34D instead, which is goofy – I’m not going to buy the wrong size just so I can shop at one particular store.

I’m a 32C, and my wireless bra– the first and only to actually work for me– is from Chantelle. Expensive, but worth it. My sense is that the cups run a teensy bit small, so the 32D might be perfect for you.

All credit to the fine women at Town Shop in NYC for hooking me up, by the way. I wandered in, shellshocked from an unpleasant experience at Victoria’s Secret down the street, and 20 minutes later they’d saved the day.

Can’t say enough about Spanx!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! The tights, the hose, the footless…I wear some form of them every day – no panty lines, no wedgies! I wash them on delicate cycle in a lingerie bag, and hang them dry. Also, I recently tried a Spanx bra, and I love that, too – just ordered another. It definitely does what it promises – no back fat buldge! Even thought I am a fairly slender person (size 4), with no chest (32A), a regular bra would still create a buldge, where these do not. Even though Spanx products can be pricey, they do last a long time and, in my opinion, are worth the money.

I’m a size 4 petite, and I find shapewear of some sort or another really makes my clothes look and fit better. Should I mention that I’m in my 40s? Maybe it’s more important after a certain age. :) I’ll size up so that the shapewear sleeks, instead of squashing. I like Spanx slips and bras, and all those shapewear camis and tanks. On the advice of comments here, I’ve been wearing Donna Karan “the Nudes” hose, and they look almost invisible, but my legs look better. After having my babies (ok, 10 years ago now), I could not stand underwire bras, but have recently been giving it another try to take advantage of molded cups. My boobs look great in some of those, and there are also some contour bras without wires, like the Natori no wire contour bra and the Spanx Bra-llelujah Wireless. I’m a 36B, by the way. And I love my local bra shop. It’s been around forever, and the staff sure know how to fit a bra.

I’m a 32D and love the “Seductive Comfort” Calvin Klein bras at Nordstrom… they are cute, comfortable, and not as pricey as some other lines. I tried one of the Spanx bras, and it was initially comfortable but then gave me a terrible itchy rash on my chest! Maybe not good if you have sensitive skin…

How much do I love that shapewear has come out of the closet?! The first time my mom suggested I buy a minimizing slip I cried for a week and took it as this giant slap in the face (I was 19 and maybe a size 4 at most). I love that it’s discussed, widely available and MUCH more comfortable now. And much better looking! My husband actually loves the way some of it looks on… though he still finds Spanx hysterical.

Please share! My husband spotted me putting on my Spanx Powerpanties the other day, and gave me this look of horror. I called him out, and he denied everything — claimed he thought I was just wearing hose, which I rarely do, but it’s obvious he did *not* find the Spanx alluring.