Ever wanted to be in charge? Well, in my own little world I will be, one day. Just not quite yet. I'm a bit tired at the moment... maybe I'll take over after I've had my little nap.
The United Dingdom - stating the bleeding obvious so you don't have to.
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Saturday, 31 December 2016

When you wish upon a Death Star

I will probably not watch Rogue One, at least not pay to
watch it. Actually, no, it’s more than probably; the franchise lost any
fascination for me after the first two. But I’m sure I will encounter the force
of the millions of words which will be written about it... none of which matter
one little bit. I get it, it’s a classic saga of good versus evil, love will overcome,
be nice, be loyal, you don’t always get what you want, surprise twist,
equality, diversity, happy-clappy, return of the Nazis, trouble with socialism,
perseverance wins, don’t get your hopes up, American values, anti-American
values, boo capitalism, shame about the liberals, don’t trust the establishment,
the establishment are the only ones you can trust, morality tale.

Some of words will bewail the Disneyfication of Lucas’s
vision, others will praise it; most will miss the point. Big-grossing
blockbusters influence our culture, but to what extent is this deliberate and
how much is it the mere mirroring of trends already there in embryo? We may never
know, but there is no doubt that future-shaping is at the heart of big money.
They used to call it marketing, which implied putting the offers out there and
promoting them by repeated exposure creating a desire to own. But a curious
side effect was that consumers not only want to own a phenomenon, they want to
live it; they want to be it. Which is where outfits like Trend Bible come in.

On their website they state: ‘Trend Bible is a home and interiors dedicated trend agency, working
with inquisitive, recognised brands to predict change.’ But how much of
the raisons d'être of ‘trend agencies’ is
pure prediction and how much is to do with cause and effect? Are they genuinely
forecasting or actually influencing? It’s easy to claim clairvoyance when your
forecasts are suitably vague – ‘we see autumn shades with maybe a splash of more
‘vibrant’ highlights, reflecting our optimism/pessimism/indifference and home technology
will be big... except for those who deliberately choose otherwise...’ I was
listening to this bull on Radio 4 yesterday lunchtime and it got me thinking.

Trend Bible are one of the new style of pointless 'experts' who charge clients £1200 for their trend
forecasting book which claims to predict two years in advance, what people will
want to do with their homes. TB says ‘Whether
it’s social, cultural or taste-driven, our job is to find out which future
trends will impact your business and help you capitalise on them.’ This is
the easy bit; having paid for your forecast the next thing is to make it and
sell it, otherwise you wasted 1200 quid. But this is paltry in comparison to the mega-corps. Disney don’t just make movies, they imagine a whole new world and make
you want to live there. You buy the tee-shirt, get the action figures and
become the hero.

It’s politics, isn’t it? Polls long since abandoned the
fruitless task of forecasting your preferences and are now used to tell you
what those preferences ought to be. So, my prediction for 2017 is that politics
will continue to shovel the same seven tons of bullshit into your ears and sell
you the same old stories disguised as aspiration and participation. Wear the
right rosette and your dreams could come true. Unless, of course, you are cleverer
than that and don’t fall for their lies. Are you? Are you cleverer than that?
If so, this is how you should vote...

PS: Since Obama has been handed his arse on a pate by
Putin and Merkel has grudgingly admitted she may have been wrong about opening
the borders wide, the two big stories of 2017 will still be Brexit and Trump.
You heard it here first... wanna buy my trend book?