Welcome to the inside of my head last night during the break in my 3 hour-long class. As a preface, you should know that my professor (who’s British) usually brings us in a snack for the break and last night it was bagels and cream cheese.

Mmm bagels. It’s been a while since I’ve had a bagel. I should get some the next time I go shopping OH and I need toilet paper. REMEMBER TOILET PAPER. Ok grab that bagel and what’s this? Two types of cream cheese? What decadence. I guess I’ll go with the strawberry so I can get my daily allowance of fruit. Maybe if I use enough it’ll count for two days. Yeah, that works. Mmm that bagel really looks good. Time to devour it but must still pay attention to the conversation I’m having with the girl next to me. Aim for the mouth and…wait. What the #*%@? What’s that smoky flavor? Is that BACON? Who the %^&# would put BACON in CREAM CHEESE? Am I crazy? Don’t spit it on the table don’t spit it on the table don’t spit it on the table. Oh wow that’s gross. Try not to look so appalled. Excuse me from this conversation I have to know what just happened in my mouth. Get up. Read label. Stuff I understand, stuff I don’t understand….and SALMON??!?!! Why does this flavor even exist? Who in their right mind…oh yeah. She’s British. This must seem like lox or whatever the hell that is for her. Oh cream cheese on a cracker I need to get this taste out of my mouth. Good thing I have water at my desk. Ugh but that bagel is still sitting there too. I can’t throw away a perfectly good bagel right in front of the teacher…and now I’m back in elementary school. Awesome. Okay just cover it up with a napkin…there. But I can still smell it. And now I think it’s watching me…

I think it’s best if I stopped there.

Never Again.

No matter how smooth I thought I was, the girl sitting next to me knew something was up. I convinced her to try the aforementioned bagel and the look of disgust on her face was enough to make me laugh out loud and temporarily forget the awful fishy taste in my mouth. I really try not to freak out when I ingest bits of meat (and this was a minuscule bite) and I also know that it probably happens more often than I’m even aware of but that taste. So. Bad. However I will admit that my lesson has been learned and I’ll be reading labels more carefully from this day forward.