You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet. --FRANZ KAFKA

Thursday, August 03, 2006

THE BIRTHDAY RULES

1. BE HAPPY. It's practically a law. Even the most wretched person on earth is required to take a day off from the pursuit of misery on their birthday. Not only will your family and friends feel compelled to remind you of your duty to the gods of happiness, but even perfect strangers will get into the act. On catching sight of your birthdate, clerks will stop everything and order you to be happy! Now! And if you find yourself in a restaurant, don't be surprise if a coven of otherwise normal wait people surround you, holding a tiny flame in their hands, and singing an ode to your happiness.

2. BE WISE because happiness is a capricious thing; and if you're not a little bit wise, you probably won't be all that happy either. Sure, it's YOUR day and you're supposed to enjoy it, but if you expect Happiness to behave in a certain way, it will squirm out of your arms as quickly as a recalcitrant two year old. In the end, the happiness paradox is the same on your birthday as it is on every day: If you want it, you've got to give it to someone else. Yep--even on your birthday.

3. BE GRATEFUL for the gifts you got, and even more so for the ones you didn't need to get. Be grateful for the people who remembered your birthday, and love the ones who forgot. If you're old, take time to be grateful and amazed by all the lives you contain. Celebrate the entwined mysteries of fragility and strength. And if you're young, go outside and shout down the stars. It's your world.

But above all, be grateful for your happiness, however worn and misshapen and imperfect it might be. It is yours. When it appears at the door in its artful disguise, take care never to turn it away.

I got this quote in my inbox yesterday. It seemed like the perfect birthday reminder.

“You are younger today than you will ever be again. Make use of it for the sake of tomorrow.”

Happy birthday, Patry! That's a beautiful photograph and I hope it captures some of what you feel on your day — such joy! Thanks for all the joy you offer all of us with your writing. May your new year bring you much love and exciting literary adventures!

What a wonderful quote! Does this mean it is your birthday? You are a Leo if I remember correctly? In which case I will say as the Germans do: Hearty congratulations on your birthday/Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zum Geburtstag, Patry!

I'm late to see this Patry but it's such good advice I'll hang on to it for my birthday which is August 7th. I hope yours was as joyful as that photo and I'm sure all those who shared the day with you were happy in your presence. Have a wonderful year.

So, you're a Leo, too. Happy birthday. Your birthday rules are my rules to live by every day, although mine had not previously included "Be Wise," and I have an additional one, "Let it Go." I've got one of the milestone birthdays coming up in a couple of weeks. It's really hard to be happy about it, but it beats the alternative.

It is possible to be wise and not happy - unless you redefine happiness in an arbitrary way.

This is because there are some physical afflictions that are, literally, terribly painful and retrictive. However, even these can finally be borne with inner strength and peace. We can come to terms with them.

The kind of peace that we find then isn't happiness, but I think is fundamental to it. And it's essential to being sane.

And if one way or another, you come into that sort of peace, and your circumstances are less than hell on earth, then you are happy.

About Me

My second novel, THE ORPHANS OF RACE POINT, an epic love story that spans several decades and is tested by murder, betrayal, faith, and destiny, set amidst the vibrant Portuguese community in Provincetown, Massachusetts will be published by Harper on January 7, 2014.