We Listened To Britney Spears’ Radio One Interview For You

Britney Spears is in London filming the “Criminal” video. Naturally, this means every other London media outlet will be treated to an identical interview about her thoughts on shooting music videos (fun!), her favorite part of touring (the crowds!), whether she still gets nervous (sometimes!), as well as mathematician’s answers (“Ever see other pop stars’ tours and think ‘I wish I’d done that?’” “Yeah!”)

OK, look. We’re not trying to be mean ol’ critics, but compare any given Britney Spears interview to any given interview by, say, Adele. (Whom Britney loves, because everybody loves Adele.) With some interviews, the interview subject is full of anecdotes and colorful quotes and surprises everywhere, but with Britney on this Radio One interview, you end up learning much more about the host than about Britney. We haven’t broken down who speaks when, but we wouldn’t be surprised if the host gets, say, 70% of speaking time compared to Britney.

So yes. The video is 13 minutes long–you can listen to it here–but really, there are three moments that stand out. Normally, fair use would allow us to excerpt a lot more, but–look, just trust us when we say we’re struggling, OK? Witness:

On proper greetings:

Host: How the hell are you?
Britney: I’m fine, how the hell are you?

On the “Criminal” video:

Host: Are there going to be a lot of dancers [in the Criminal video]?
Britney: No, no, just me.

On not having matured past age 15 (OK, not really, but really?):

Host: If you could go, Britney Spears, to anywhere, and people wouldn’t recognize you, what would your day be?
Britney: I would go to a baseball game, and I would go dine out with my friends and go see a movie, and have a slumber party. That would be fun.