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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

4 months, 1 day, 23 hours and 15 minutes

That's the time left on my iPhone wedding countdown app at the time I started writing this blog entry.

Every so often, a feeling rises up from my stomach to my chest, almost like anxiousness or excitement (or all of that at once) and I think, "Oh my god. I'm getting married. I'm really getting married and it's just a few months away holyshitbreathebreathebreathe."

I was not the kind of girl that planned her wedding in her head from the time she was little. I suppose that's why I waited until 27 to get married instead of being married twice by this age like some of the people I went to high school with, who chased that dream down all the wrong places. I even said, "Why would anyone spend so much on a wedding dress? They'll only wear it once?" Yes! Yes, I'll only wear it once, but it's so gorgeous! I look like a princess and Chris is going to be amazed when he sees me walk down the aisle! It's the best dress in the world!

Chris and I don't really have a song. I've never seen the point of having a song with a person. There's a lot of love songs out there. If I made every song that made me think of Chris "our song" we would have 100 "our songs." Then, when I slip in a Dave Matthews Band CD one morning, I hear a song I have to ask Chris to dance to at our wedding. he said he'll think about it, but I literally got teary-eyed on the way to work listening to it. And so now I'm one of those girls.

Here's the lyrics:

I remember thinking

I'll go on forever only knowing

I'll see you again

But I know

The touch of you is so hard to remember

But like that touch I know no other

And for sure we have danced

In the risk of each other

Would like to dance

Around the world with me

I'll be falling all about my own thing

And I know your the heaviest weight

When your not here that's hung

Around my head

And your lips burn wild

Thrown from the face of a child

And in your eyes

The seeing of the greatest few

Do what you will, always

Walk where you like, your steps

Do as you please, I'll back you up

I remember thinking

Sometimes we walk

Sometimes we run away

No matter how fast we are running

Somehow we keep

Somehow we keep up with each other

I'll be falling all about my own thing

And I know your the heaviest weight

When your not here that's hung

Around my head

And your lips burn wild

Thrown from the face of a child

And in your eyes

The seeing of the greatest few

Do what you will, always

Walk where you like, your steps

Do as you please, I'll back you up.

So now I cry at sweet love songs and lose my breath looking at my dress. I romantically imagine our wedding day and my heart skips a beat when I think of spending the rest of my life with Chris. I have become cliché...And am loving every minute of it.