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When I Grow Up

by Norah Colvin

Congratulations and a special thank you goes to all writers who participated in the first of the Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Contests: When I grow up. The judging is now complete, and we are about to announce the winner. Could it be you?

In this contest, writers were asked to write a 99-word story in response to the following prompt:

When I grow up. Cast yourself back to six years of age, knowing what you do of life in the present; what would you want to be when you grow up and how would you go about achieving that goal? Tell us in 100 words, no more no less. It can be real or imaginary, serious or light-hearted. Extra points for comparing it to your childhood choice, if you remember it.

Stories were judged on ten criteria including relevance, capturing a child’s voice and originality. Extra points were awarded if the story included a comparison with the “real” childhood choice. (For a full list of criteria, please refer to the original post here.)

With thirty-eight entries to read, it was no mean feat for we judges to select a winner. Most entries met the requirements of surface features; such as, word count, story structure, grammar, spelling and punctuation. Most stories were relevant to the prompt, and many captured the voice of a child in an interesting and original way. It was difficult to differentiate, so congratulations must go to everyone who joined in by writing in response to this prompt.

Although we didn’t expect it to be so, it was the extra points awarded for a comparison to the childhood choice that enabled us to choose the winner.

And the winner is (drum roll)!

#34 Father Christmas by Hugh Roberts

“Father Christmas.”

“Father Christmas?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to give toys to all the good boys and girls he can’t get to because there’s no snow.”

“But Father Christmas’s sleigh can travel anywhere. Harry.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It doesn’t have to be snowing. Can you remember last Christmas when it rained? He still got here.”

“Yes, you’re right. Maybe I’ll be a doctor then?”

***

27 years later, dressed as Father Christmas, Doctor Harry Gibson gave out the presents at the Desert Trail Orphanage Christmas party, before saving the life of three-year-old Afua Zambo, who was suffering from malnutrition and measles.

We felt that what set this entry apart from others is its combination of the past and present to tell a complete story: the child grows up to fulfil the childhood ambition. If he couldn’t be Father Christmas, he wanted to be a doctor. He managed to combine both in a rather surprising way. While perhaps seeming to lack some sophistication of language, the first part of the story, told completely in dialogue, captures the voice of the child in a way that is both credible and cheerful.

Congratulations, Hugh, on being selected as the winner in the inaugural Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #1. Charli will be in touch about your prize.

Highly commended

Since our task was so difficult, Charli suggested that each judge be allowed to pick one other entry that appealed for whatever reason. We jumped at the chance, though were again hard-pressed to choose just one.

Anne’s Pick:

#36 Morning Ritual by C. Jai Ferry

My mama was a princess. In the pictures, she wore a long white gown and flowers in her hair. Now she uses her leftover princess magic when she puts makeup on, her fingers gliding over her skin, barely touching her face at all. But they do. Her breath jerks and her eyes water, but her fingers still spread the paint over her cheek until the dark rainbow marks disappear. Daddy calls them his special love bites. Mama adds a rosy pink color to her cheeks. I shake my head. I don’t ever want to wear makeup when I grow up.

Anne says, “Here is a child trying to make sense of her family, not able to name what’s happening (domestic abuse), nor criticise either parent, she knows what she doesn’t want and has an authentically magical sense of how to avoid it. It’s very subtly handled and has left a deep impression on me.”

Robbie’s Pick:

#37When I grow up by Jack Schuyler

“Being a doctor is a privilege,” Dad’s been talking for a while now. Sitting in the back seat, I watch him drive and listen. “Helping people: that’s something you can be proud of.”

In the passenger seat, Mom’s listening too, and smiling.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Dad’s eyes find mine in the rearview mirror.

I hesitate, “What do you do Mom?”

“I used to be a writer,” she smiles at me. “I even wrote a book once.”

“That’s what I want to do,” I say looking through the window. Outside, the world flies past.

Robbie says, “Very clever. A piece that speaks volumes through the few well-chosen words. The child identifies with his mother, who is obviously the carer and the one that the child regards. This is despite the father’s position as a doctor and his pride in his work.”

Norah’s Pick:

#16Time Traveler (Too Many Questions, Child!) by Liz Husebye Hartmann

Unseen, I observe.

Red shorts, shirtless, she digs tiny toes into the sand. A mutt stretches nearby, ears pricking as the girl narrates the world under her dirty hands.

“There’s a hole there…gonna dig it up. How far does it go?”

“I’ll flatten this mountain, make a road. Why so many ants?”

“Buster, don’t sit on the highway!”

Buster shakes his ears and rolls, belly up.

“Why didn’t Buster growl at you?” she looks fiercely up at me.

“We’ve met before,” I smile, plop down in the sand.

I forget what I came to tell myself.

“Can I play, too?”

Norah says, “I like the way this started from the point of view of the adult-self observing the child-self. We then went into the child’s voice as the child narrates her play, with disconnected thoughts, as occurs. The narrator then indicates that she came back to give advice to the child but realises that play and being in the moment is more important. As an appreciation of childhood, it appealed to me.”

We hope you enjoyed reading our picks and see in them the positives that we saw. Remember though, reading is a very personal experience.

NOTE FROM CARROT RANCH:

Congratulations to all the writers who entered! You dared to stretch your writing and braved the first Rodeo at Carrot Ranch. Each participant has earned the following badge, which you may copy and post on you blog, social media or print out and frame. It’s a badge of honor. And now you can say, you have had your first rodeo! You wrote well.

We want to share all the contest entries in a collection. We’ll be contacting each of our contestants and challengers to seek interest and permission to publish a digital collection in January. Writers retain all copyrights to their work.

We’d appreciate your feedback! We want to make this an annual event that is fun, engaging and supportive of literary art. Please take a a few minutes for a brief 5 question survey. Thank you!

Congratulation Hugh, Liz, Jack and C Jai! Thank you to all the writers who entered! We had such great entries that we’ll be putting together a digital collection in January. Thank you Norah for leading such a fun and thoughtful contest. Thank you Anne and Robbie for joining Norah in the difficult task of judging. You all made this a fun and engaging event!

The task, though difficult, was a pleasure, Charli. I was delighted to be a part of it. It was wonderful to read all the great submissions from writers. I couldn’t have done it with the support of Anne Goodwin and Robbie Cheadle. Three heads really are better than one! 🙂

Reblogged this on Norah Colvin and commented:
I am delighted to announce the winner of my flash fiction contest “When I grow up”. Judging was a tough job, but we got there in the end.
Charli has made a lovely badge for contestants to put on their blogs. Check it out when you check out the winners.
Thanks for a fabulously fun rodeo, Charli.

Norah, thank you so much. You’ve helped make a dream come true. I’m over the moon with hearing the news that my story won. Thank you for coming up with the idea for this, the first of The Carrot Ranch flash fiction competitions. I think a little celebration is on the cards. 🥂

Your story is a deserving winner, Hugh. I thought you’d be excited. I was so pleased that I had no idea who wrote any of the stories until after the winning entry had been decided. I was surprised and delighted to see it was you. By the time the judging was done, I’d even forgotten who had entered. It is a delightful little story, and not BOTS, as I had thought it might be. 🙂

Thanks so much, Ellen. Yes, I had a lot of brilliant competition to contend with. They are all winners as far as I’m concerned because they saddled up and had a go. I seem to be able to write stories with a Christmas theme at any time of the year. Probably because I’ve always loved that time of the year.

Charli, this was an amazing rodeo. Thank you for trusting me to the lead the contests into the ring. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It was a lot of fun. I was very impressed by the contest entries and it was tough choosing a winner. How wonderful that you intend compiling all the entries into a digital publication in January. I do hope the writers give their permission. What a wonderful read it will be, and how helpful as a tool for studying technique and getting ideas.
The badge for writers to put on their blogs is awesome! I can’t wait to add it to mine!
I’ve completed the survey. I don’t think it took even five minutes!
I’m now waiting to hear who has won the other contests. I’ve been busting to tell the winners of this one! 🙂

Norah, thank you for bravely going first for our first of what I hope will be many more years of Rodeos! You helped solidify processes and communication. You led the way. Like you, I’m excited to find out who the next winners will be. Judging is still going on, and each Tuesday will be like opening presents. 🙂

Wow! I can’t tell you how delighted I am to hear the news that I won this contest. I’m over the moon. Thank you to Norah, Robbie and Anne for judging, and to Charli for hosting the Flash Fiction Rodeo. Congratulations to all the other participants as well. You’ve done something brilliant by entering the contest.

Being dyslexic, I’m so glad that I discovered the world of blogging and did not allow the condition to stop me doing what I always wanted to do – to write. Many of you have made my dreams come true – thank you. Now, I’m off to celebrate.

I’ll be raising a glass of bubbly to you Hugh, thrilled for you! What a delightful story, it actually made me tear up, such a sweet yet powerful story. You are a talented storyteller who writes from the heart, dyslexia was never going to hold you down. Time to celebrate…but make sure you’re over your hangover before your judging duties comments lol 😉 Hugh contgratulations Hugh, and huge hugs with them, richly deserved! ❤ xxx

Thanks so much, Sherri. Such lovely comments from you. I’m so glad I published that first post in February 2014.
As you’re head judge, I’ve duly taken your advice about the celebrations. I’m looking forward to my chance to do some flash fiction judging. We’ll celebrate when we meet up. 🥂
xx

You are so very welcome Hugh, I was so excited to read that you won! I’m so glad too, and so are many others, you made that first post decision back then. Haha…well, I do need to keep my judges in line you know, we don’t want a disaster darling 😀 Can’t wait to celebrate with you…happy day! xxx

Hugh, that warms my heart to know you won! I’ve long admired your writing and find your humor infectious. This story is tender and intelligent. All your wonderful attributes as a writer outshine any challenges of dyslexia. I hope others who hold back might read your words and feel encouraged to try. Congratulations. Have a wonderful celebration!

Thank you very much, Charli. I hope other writers with dyslexia who read this will act on your words. I allowed the condition to stop me from writing for far too long. Now, I feel like a horse who has been let out for the first time after a long hard winter. This win has certainly taken my writing to a new level. You’ll be seeing a lot more of my writing in the future.

Oh, Hugh, I went through a season of doubt struggling to type and to write error-free. It kept me from applying to college to exact my dream to be a writer. As you know, dyslexia can cause “silly mistakes” and also frozen panic. Some people, like former teachers or fellow students, could be overly critical. I learned to tune them out. The encouragement I express at Carrot Ranch is rooted in my philosophy of overcoming — focus on strengths and weaknesses won’t matter. Another challenge for me has been typing, or keyboarding. No matter how many classes I take, I can’t do it. Okay. I’m a writer, not a secretary. So I can’t type. So what? When I finally said eff off to the typing, I developed my own quirky one-handed system. It drives other people nuts (who see me) and who try to tell me how to do it “right.” But there is no “right” way. And that’s the gift of dyslexia. Dyslexics are so creative because we have to find different neuron paths to do what others can without thinking. So of course a dyslexic man with a grand sense of humor, an eye for a good story and a huge heart would be a magnificent writer. Remember your strengths and write on!

A celebration is definitely in order, Hugh. There were some wonderful stories entered in the contest, and it was difficult to choose a winner, but yours stood out in that it met the criteria beautifully. Well done!

Thanks again, Norah. Having read Jack’s, Liz’s and C.J’s stories, I can see that I was up against strong competition. This win has certainly made me look at my writing in a new way. Thanks for all your work on the judging panel. I’ll be commencing my judging duties with Sherrie very soon. 😀

Thanks for the information on Rod Duncan, Anne. I see he was born in the same year as me and I see he uses dictation software to write his stories. It’s something I’ve thought about before and need to look into.
Thanks again for being on Norah’s judging panel.

I hadn’t realised he uses voice-activated software. I use it because of repetitive strain injury, but it does have its frustrations and can cause me embarrassment with the mistakes it lets through. You have to check the output quite carefully in my experience. If you try it, I’d be interested to know how you get on.

What a wonderful contest you hosted Norah, and I’m so thrilled to see Hugh’s entry as the winner, more so as he is not only a dear friend, but also one of my esteemed judges! I can see you had a hugely difficult task Norah, goodness, what a bar you’ve set! Many congratulations of course to Hugh and to the honourable mentions. Wonderful reads, one and all 🙂

Congratulations Hugh. Lovely story. Great to read you feel it has taken your writing to the next level. Congrats also to Liz, C.Jain and Jack and to everyone who took the plunge and entered a story. Thanks Norah and your judges and Charli who made the Rodeo possible.

Congratulations to all the authors mentioned and selected in this post, and to all the others who joined. So hard to create an appealing story with so few words! I thoroughly enjoyed Hugh’s story as well. He has so much talent and something about the way he chooses his words and weaves them into this (and other) narrative(s) is just incredible. Good choice as the winner!

[…] My entry didn’t win, and that’s okay. I had fun just the same. It’s one thing to let your writing see the light of day; it’s a little bit harder to enter it where it will actually be judged on its merits. I’m glad I entered. The winning entries are wonderful; you can read them here. […]