To encourage you to keep going.To remind you to be strong.

I like people who understand. The type who aren’t quick to judge. You can vent to them and labelling you will be the last thing on their mind. They don’t believe rumours because they know there are two sides to every story. They give you a chance before they judge you. They get to know who you really are, then have an opinion. I like those types of people. Real people.
~Jeremy McConnell

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21 Comments

Sometimes we feel that we are judged and not given the chance to explain….that is because the other party has the intuitive power….when you assert.utter something, it has its meaning and value..which is subject to analysis and interpretation.

Hello commenter Steffi1970…just asking- was there an instance in your life that you feel.felt you were misjudged?

Or have you, on your part happened to misjudged some others in your life-some dear and beloved friends you considered to have been nujustly misjudged by you because of the problem of translation or intellectual problems?

that is a difficult question. Hm, I think there were a lot of. I mean from people who do not knew me. In the age of 7-14…I was very shy outside my home and not looking very cool…so other kids, who did not know me, misjudged me. But I had enough friends, so it did not really matter. With 16 until mid of twenty, I was misjudged, because I looked pretty and I was kind of powerful….I´m not very proud of this time, because I did not much care and think of others. I could have helped more people who were misjudged and also I misjudged people I did not know….so people often thought that I´m conceited and snobbish.
The first sight to somebody, is always difficult to judge. I do not judge anymore, before I have not talked with someone. O.k. I always have emotional feelings of symphatie, compassion or dislike, but it is not a real judgement. Some people turn out much more sympathic as I thought after knowing them closer..some people it is the opposite.
Language problem was in the past not a big problem, because I think I´m very average, and people judge also average. But I also do not care about, what poeple think about me. I care about friends and family.

Today it is different, because I realized, that I was misjudged by somebody who means a lot to me now. I always felt much symphatie for him, but I did not judge him at all, because I did not realize that he is close to me. I talked to him several times, and there I think were many misunderstandings because of the language…so I think he misjudged me.

Here in internet I have also the problem with the language. I do not understand everything, so it is hard to judge. I know, that also I ´m misjudged, because of translationproblems. And then, there is often a lack of knowlegde. If people are talking about things I ´m not informed and I need to inform me before be able to comment. But this lack of knowledge can not be filled in a short time.

How does it feel? Well, as a child, when I was misjudged, because I was shy and not very cool, I felt bad. When I realized that the person I love misjudged me I felt very bad. Do I feel better now, because I tried to explain, I regret and I try to show him my love? I do not know. I hope that he forgives me, and feel the same way. But I also know it is hard to judge me. May be he judged me already and feels that I´m under-qualified. Well this can not let me feel better.

hello commenter Steffi1970…try to communicate with the person whom you said have misjudged you….openness…honesty….

That person might be real…with the way you express yourself in this page, you seem to be real also…hence that person whom you think.said might have misjudged you I think also has a listening heart and a broad mind….

Love Arlene,
I thank you so much for your reply and sympathy. Do you really mean I should personally contact this person by email? I have already communicated my feelings by e-mail, I have already telephoned and the more I have done, the more the person has withdrawn. I do not want to pinch her, because I know she has so many doubts. Still, I feel that the person loves me. But maybe she does not want to be with me, and that would be a state I could not bear. Because my hope is just the only thing that remains to me. I do not always want to whine, but also not bear this uncertainty. I want to laugh and enjoy my new life with this person. Yes and the truth is simple. It is the love, only the love for that person that drives me nothing else.
Is an email useful? Probably my reaction here is already not.

Yes, sending an email is more effective to express to her your feelings. It only shows you are real…even with your feelings.

It’s nice to note that your love for her drives you to go on living…but take note you have some other people behind you who love you and who care for you. She must not be in control of your thoughts and wisdom. Nevertheless, keep on reaching out and try hearing her side. After which you then decide to fight for it or leave for good- matter of objective communication- heart to heart..person to person. You can still be plain friends anyway, no matter what.

Thank you Arlene,
I will consider the matter, and frankly I do not feel good about it. I have the feeling to go to my execution. The last test of blind love will spoil everything?Hart, but I believe she is hard.
Of course I have my family, who loves me and cares. This will always be the case, and therefore they will accept all my steps. They do not fight me or my feelings / love. They are fighting for a place in the future. But I too will accept people and learn to love when I enter into her life. I will also adjust because I want it and it is normal when you love each other.
I do not know if I can dare an email, because I never felt welcome with my personal messages…I will think about this.

thank you Arlene,
what ever you mean with “will set you free”….yes I have her email.But you know, I made so many errors in the past. I do not want to close the last door by myself. I have no courage to do this right now. I need to be assured by myself to do so…

I thank you so much for your advice, but I will not be able to follow it. At least at the moment. I know in what tone the answer will come, because she will never reply to an email in a way that I would hope for. She stands a few steps above me and I am a human of glass. It will not be a liberation for me, because the rejection I do not get for the first time and I know that my impatience will effect the opposite. As long as she does not cut the ropes herself, my hope will remain … so long as I can bear the pain.

I like how Steffie, or Annie (since a sense they are a same person) think of that special person before themselves.But everyone, every human being should take care of himself alone first, before entering in a relationship.This means-say loud your feelings, expose yourself.Give yourself a CHANCE to be heard and understood.If this significant other misunderstands you let them.Don’t fight back.Give them A CHANCE too.To get wiser and braver through time, if that doesn’t border you.Cause I see you already made up your mind to wait.If ropes are cutted.Let them.It’s always better to have a clear vision over the situations then to keep on hoping without an act in the right direction.And remember this person might also be scared and afraid to try something new.Thats how our world is nowadays-scared and frightened in the relationships it recembles..

Thank you Petya, your words are very wise and kind of consoling! “always better to have a clear vision over the situations then to keep on hoping without an act in the right direction”…hoping in wrong directions is poison and nobody want to have a poisoned relationship…hope will still be there but we have to go on and look after ourself and do not expect anything even if it is hard, an we have to be hard with ourself not to hurt the other, this is also poison. So thank you again and sorry for all this misunderstandings that I caused, it never was purpose it always was inability.

Thanks also to all of you bright.minded smart reactors.commenters, great insights and enlightenment….no need to be sorry commenter Steffi1970, you are awakening the thinking minds in us…right commenter Petya?

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