#Outlander recap, #IfNotForHope is up wherein #Jocasta matchmakes like a champ, #LordJohnGrey makes me want to beg #Starz for a spinoff & #BriannaFraser acts just like a MacKenzie.

It seems Roger MacKenzie did not follow my excellent advice and hurl himself into that rock and get the hell out of Dodge.I understand that Brianna is a beautiful, intelligent woman, but gee, there are a lot of other fish in the sea.

At River Run, Lizzie/GladysKravitz walks in as Brianna is sketching and as is her habit, she brings her Jump To Conclusion mat and thinks Brianna is possessed when she’s just depressed.Bree makes it clear, she’s not going to forgive Jamie anytime soon.

Ian finds out from the Cherokee where the Mohawk who’ve taken Roger live and it’s a two months’ ride to get there.Claire is treating Jamie like he walked on a white floor with dog crap on his shoe and I don’t understand where her anger comes from.Even with Ian prodding her, she won’t speak to Jamie.She does the annoying thing where she says nothing’s wrong, when something is definitely wrong leaving Young Ian and me very confused.

Fergus is on the hunt for Stephen Bonnet when he sees a Wanted Poster with Murtagh’s likeness. Back home Fergus tells Marsali that nobody in Wilmington will hire him because of the one hand situation.Fergus tells Murtagh he has news of Bonnet.

At River Run, Phaedre is bopping around all excited to sew a new dress for Brianna so she can catch herself a man.But Bree is all Debbie Downer and says no way.She does want to paint Phaedre’s portrait however, which Phaedre finds odd.Jocasta takes rejection well and even though Bree doesn’t want a new dress, she gives her some earrings to match a dress of her own she’s giving her.

Jocasta has apparently watched the Millionaire Matchmaker and she’s determined to find a husband for Bree.She tells Bree that she is a spirited woman like her grandmother Ellen who wouldn’t marry a man she didn’t love.

Marsali accidentally on purpose wakes up Murtagh so she can ask him to include Fergus when he fights against the Regulators so he’ll feel like a man.

At River Run, it’s the evening of the party and Jocasta has invited every unattached man with a pulse and a healthy bank account.Brianna comes down the staircase like the princess/lead in every Hallmark Christmas movie ever made. They make conversation and the tacky snobs are shocked to find Brianna draws ‘negroes.’ It’s like the first night of The Bachelor and I’m waiting for someone to glide in on a skateboard or arrive in a shark costume, and the men are falling over themselves trying to win the First Impression Rose. Suddenly, the gorgeous Lord John arrives looking like Prince Charming and the nerds deflate at the site of him.

Murtagh is worried about finding enough rifles for the Regulators.He asks Fergus if he’ll join the militia but Fergus declines because he needs to take care of his family.Marsali pops in to tell them Bonnet’s ship, the Gloriana is in port.

At the dinner table, Brianna leads them in a parlor game where they imagine they’re in the woods with someone. Bree asks LJG who he thought of and Lord John waaaay awkwardly admits the person he thought of was Jamie. Join the ‘I Heart Jamie Club’ Lord John, we’ve got t-shirts!

Bree ‘faints’ and is taken to a parlor where she quickly recovers on the sofa.Lizzie/Gladys Kravitz runs in and blurts out she’s worried because of Bree’s ‘condition,’(I’m gonna go on the record and say that Lizzie is one of my favorite characters in the history of this show.)Bree tells LJG that Jamie accidentally sold her husband to the Mohawk and The Fraser’s are out trying to find him.LJG delivers a letter to Bree from Jamie. Jocasta and Brianna have a Come To Jesus meeting and she tells Bree she needs to find herself a husband and fast.

In Wilmington, Murtagh and Fergus find Stephen Bonnet and Murtagh conks him over the head and knock him out.

At River Run, Bree goes downstairs for a midnight snack and discovers LJG and Judge Alderdyce are getting jiggy with it up against a wall in the Butler’s Pantry. In Wilmington, Murtagh and Fergus are dragging Bonnet outside, when they’re caught by some soldiers who take them prisoner.Fergus gets away.

Phaedre wakes up Brianna and tells her Mr. Forbes is downstairs waiting to pop the question.Bree tells Lizzie/Gladys to get Lord John and have him meet her out back and to please be discreet.

Bree asks LJG to marry her and he declines, so she tries to blackmail him as one does.She then figures out that he’s in love with Jamie and that her mother knows.They sit and talk and I’m beginning to think Lord John is the most well adjusted character in this book/show.She tells LJG that Roger may not be the father because of what happened with Bonnet. She apologizes for being a loon and he accepts.

Inside the house Mr. Forbes is waiting to get on bended knee when Lord John rushes in and announces their engagement.Even Jocasta is impressed by how quickly she landed that big fish.

Jamie injures his hand and Claire actually seems to care.Rollo finds a human bone and they discover a body and Ian confirms by the clothing that it’s the Random Captive who was with Roger.They find no other bones and assume Roger is alive.Claire decides to knock the chip off her shoulder and be nice to Jamie but I still don’t understand why she’s been such a B to him when he was only protecting his family.

Lord John tells Bree he has a son but he’s not biological and that he loves him very much.That makes her like him even more.Brianna finally opens the letter from Jamie.

Roger arrives at the Indian settlement and they make him run through a gauntlet where they beat and punch him like a reeeeaaallly bad fraternity prank. And I keep going back to Ian’s words that they take in people to replace those who’ve died and again I wonder how they treat people they don’t like.

Author’s note: Only two more episodes and I’m already dreading droughtlander and it hasn’t even begun yet. What other shows do you all watch? I’ve enjoyed all the episodes of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and The Bodyguard but I need more recommendations!

Cynthia Franzen

KK

Jill

Your articles are great fun. Thank you!
And poor, pathetic Roger’s name should really be Job.
Series recommendations: Poldark, The Last Kingdom, Shetland, The Dectectorists, A Place to Call Home, No Offense, Loch Ness, Vera and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Enjoy!

Kay Brown

I didn’t get Claire’s behavior either. I know in the book they were both quiet because each thought the other mad, but she was just so snarky with him in the show. Oh well they made up. Sorry to see the end of the season nearing. You might want to try The Last Kingdom on Netflix. It is really good with a very dreamy leading man.

Joan Tinnin

I am grateful for you. You are necessary for this show and books that I love so much. There are many Tweeters that go crazy when they think shade is being thrown at Claire. I, personally think show Claire, starting with the dreadful Creme de Menthe, deserves a LOT of shade. Book Claire, never. Thank you for seeing what I am without freaking out if any woman is not a goddess. What a burden. Will look forward now to actually seeing this episode.

joyce johnston

I just finished Miss Fisher and the Bodyguard as well.Moved on to The Musketeers
I did receive C.B. Strike The Series as a gift . Read the books and the new book “Lethal White”
well worth the read and the viewing. Tom Burke excellent as Strike
Enjoyed this episode read the book sections before and after viewing Really had no complaints
I do miss the Jamie/Claire depth of the books though!

Susan Crozier

Great Recap, you sure hit the highs and lows! Lizzie/Gladys – perfect. So agree with everyone’s Claire comments. I have to work at liking her now. There are moments, but I want to like her all the time like in Season 1 & 2.

I like period stuff, so watching Victoria & Last Kingdom right now. Also love Shetland. Dreading a long Droughlander.

Susan

I think Claire was just as mad at herself, blaming herself. And thought Jamie was mad at her for keeping a secret from him. Each one was in turmoil due to their own thoughts and guilts thinking the other was mad at the other. That’s the way I took it. She knew Jamie had to deal with things in his own way, in his own time, she was just letting him do that,,,,all the while she was churning in her in guilt. It wasn’t just Claire not speaking to him,,,he was not speaking to her either. Each was pulling away from the other.
As far as there being other fish in the sea for Roger,,,,why ruin someone else’s life? We saw what that did to Frank when Claire was in love with Jamie. Roger loves Brianna and no other will do.
As far as what to watch next,,,try YOU on Netflix. It’s about a creepy sociopath (aren’t all sociopaths creepy) who will stop at nothing to “protect” (read control) this girl he falls in love with. I could only watch one episode,,,,then had to stop,,,,a few weeks later I finished it at a couple settings. I like psycological thrillers. There is a LOT of voice overs so we hear what is going on in his head,,,his thought processes,,,,skewed as they are in his justifications for what he’s doing to “help and protect” her.
And then I like to revisit shows I’ve seen before,,,,but didn’t binge. Like I recently watched Hell on Wheels and now watching Medium, and seeing people like Rami Malik before they were famous! 😉
Enjoy your funny reviews

CGW

Lora

I truly hope anyone reading your weekly recaps doesn’t make the colossal error of skimming through to only ‘look at the pictures’ (in the form of your hilarious memes), because every single bit is cleverly written and hugely entertaining. I love your sense of humor! Thank you for posting these for all to enjoy. “Tulach Ard MoFo” is the absolute best!!