Easter Worshiper Converts To Christianity

In a surprise announcement to friends and family, local
Easter Worshiper Ed Jenkins revealed Wednesday that he has decided to convert
to Christianity.

The stunning announcement has reportedly shaken the faith of
many of Jenkins’ fellow Easter Worshipers, some of whom claimed that Jenkins
himself was the individual that first led them “to the faith.”

“He was a pillar of our community,” said 34-year-old Grace
Decker. “I’ve only personally met him once, but I’ve gone to a lot of his
talks. He was mesmerizing to listen to. He could so easily dissect the
differences between our faith and that of the Christians, which is a huge deal
in our community, as you could imagine.”

Jenkins has also made a public statement encouraging others
to follow his example in learning about the Christian faith.

“Yes, our faith is an ancient faith—nearly five days old.
Nevertheless, it is our duty to seek the truth no matter what. And that is what
I did on this long journey to Christ. And I’ll add that it does feel real good
to be able to go to Mass on days other than just Easter. I did hate that about
our religion—only coming together once a year.”

At press time, poor Ed Jenkins doesn’t yet know that most
followers of his new religion only “come together” just twice a year.