Britney Spears Sex Tape: Actually on the Way?!

While many of her contemporaries have starred in homemade skin flicks, Britney Spears managed to avoid the sex tape craze of the late ’00s.

(Brit showed an awful lot of bare flesh when she shaved her head, but that was an art film, not a porn, thankyouverymuch.)

These days, Britney has a lucrative Vegas residency keeping her at home, and she’s living a life of (relatively) quiet domestic contentment, but thanks to the Internet, all our wild days aren’t nearly as far behind us as we’d like to think.

According to Radar Online a Britney sex tape is currently being shopped around by an anonymous seller/

The footage, which Radar claims to have viewed and decided not to publish, reportedly shows Britney nude and smoking a joint while “gyrating on top of a secret lover.”

Smoking a joint while having sex?

We’re assuming this was at the height of her “f–k you, dad and Disney!” phase.

Not surprisingly, sources say Spears “is horrified this is happening to her after everything that she’s been through.”

“She’s totally mortified and not coping well at all,” adds one insider.

Though her legacy seems pretty well cemented at this point, Britney reportedly fears that the emergence of a sex tape could undo much of what she’s worked for:

“Every time she thinks she’s finally put the past to bed, something comes back to haunt her,” the insider says.

“A seedy sex tape is more than she can handle right now.”

We like to picture a harried Brit setting down a bag of groceries, instructing her kids to wash up for dinner, then looking at her phone and being all, “Dammit, not a seedy sex tape.”

But in all seriousness, we can imagine her frustration.

Britney is currently dating Sam Ashgari, and those closest to the pop icon say that she feels she’s finally found the contentment and stability she’s been seeking since her teen years.

Last month, the god-awful Lifetime biopic Britney Ever After claimed the singer made a sex tape at the height of her fame, but like a Twitter-addicted president, no one took it seriously.

The fact that the dumbest biopic Lifetime has ever hacked up might soon be proven factually accurate could be the worst part of this whole thing.

Just kidding, the worst part is the galling and terrifying invasion of privacy.