Game Description

Note – Invitation Only!

This is a game based on the homebrew setting of Paradiso which was made up for my fanfiction, adventuring for dummies. You don't need to read it, because the universe in the fanfiction is using 3.5 edition, and this one will be different, using 4th edition. Some important characters of the story will appear, and references to the story will be made at times, but you don't really need to read it, and the protagonists won't be showing up regardless.

The adventurers will be a team of strangers (or friends if they want it that way) who travel to Tigris, a desert city within the Republic of Roma, to answer a newspaper ad asking for adventuring help. Eventually they will aid Karin Apuleius, too crippled to do much more than tag along, to help her write her latest and greatest book. However, the adventures that result from the various research subjects Karin has in mind will be nothing short of strange and humorous for everyone involved.

If you're interested, do read the informations in the Adventurer's Guidebook for character creation information, more setting information, my Rules of Engagement and suchlike. The story will have a tone of somewhat light-hearted D&D humor. You could compare it to Order of the Stick except not taking the self-referential aspects as far. It will also include meta-referencing and some video game tropes.Note – Join by Invitation Only.

Beep.

Doop.

Splorch.

The massive, vaguely durian-shaped planar transportation vehicle of the Dromeda Empire floated through the vast, dark blue, vaguely gaseous expanse of almost-nothing that separated Paradiso and neighboring planes and moons. It floated through the voids in a way fruits did not, and to say that it might perhaps be swimming through space would have been a poor comparison and one would have been ashamed to have thought of it. To say that the ship was compensating for things would be a grand understatement. This particular ship drove through the atmosphere with power and strength, its huge erect girth propelling it forward, each thrust plunging through the tight boundaries of the planet's outer gaseous spheres. After each herculean push it ejaculated jets of glorious turquoise fire. The barriers of time and space contracted and expanded around it until an unforeseen metaphysical climax.

The result of which was that a very expensive glass of Wyrmsblood wine belonging to a man in Tiberius shattered and spilled the liquids upon his good shirt.

Since Wyrmsblood was extremely difficult to rinse out of shirts, especially shirts designated as "good shirts", a massive lawsuit was fielded against the Copper Dragon Resort and Casino, which ended in a two Astral Diamond out of court settlement and much misery and court fees for many, many people. The scandal was documented in the Roman Inquisitor, who were lucky to have finally found a mildly interesting story to bloat up to epic proportions, as professional journalism is wont to do. The end result was documented by various wizened, ancient scholars who realized they did not care. Soon it was all but forgotten.

Beep.

Shoop.

Clarg.

The Dromeda prince Napoleon Eldritch Nydus IX did not know about any of this.

Had he known, he likely would not have cared.

* * * * *

The world of Paradiso. There are many theories as to it's creation.

One particular cult of Cloud's End mountaineers believes that the world began with a mountain, and on this mountain, the first messiah was given the rules to the 1st Edition, and everything was inexplicably strange and vaguely copyright infringing.

An old man once sat upon a rocking chair in Yawnsburg, waxing poetic about the beauty and simplicity of life when there was only Fighting-Man, Magic-Man and Cleric. When Lawful was Good, Chaotic was Evil, and Neutral meant something other than "this alignment system is dirt and I'm rebelling against it."

Rocks fell on him.

Regardless of its creation, Paradiso is a world constantly moving and shaking in imperceptible ways, as the busy little creatures that inhabit it toil and labor to destroy one another, love one another, eat one another, and sell each other vastly overpriced postal stamps.

Coincidentally, Tigris has the most overpriced postal stamps in all of the Republic of Roma, a fact that Karin Apuleius noticed and which made her seethe.

"What? 50 gold for a stamp? For a STAMP?"

Argea Clamington, Karin's best friend, mentor, editor and rumored lesbian lover, removed the bill for the stamp from Karin's face, crumpled it and threw it over her shoulder. "I'm a rogue, I don't pay for stamps. Anyway, why exactly can't I just take you from this place?"

"Because you have to handle my things-to-do!"

"Things-to-do?"

"Yes! Besides, you have that shoot for Sexy Editor Magazine."

"I've been on the cover five times, Karin," Argea chuckled, "I can miss the sixth."

"No you can't! Six is an even number! Therefore it is better than five! Plus, you have to go back to Tiddleton and take care of the office. I probably have a whole square mile of mail by now. And that's a lot of money in stamps! You also need to forge my signature and reply to fan mail."

"Fine, fine." Argea said. "I'll go back to Tiddleton. But stop treating me like I'm crazy. You break half your bones and you think I'm not going to worry? By the way how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Karin happily said.

To observers, being in a wheel chair with one arm sandwiched between wooden planks and bandages, both her legs covered in a sovereign glue cast, and a rod of rubberized mithral holding up her spine, was nowhere near fine. But Karin Apuleius was different. She was completely insane.

"What exactly happened anyway?"

"Skill Challenge."

"Oh."

"Yes. It's kinda hard to use History and Arcana to get out of a crumbling set of ancient ruins while being chased by a pink Bulette."

"Well, you'll be fine, I suppose."

"Regardless, I'm going to keep researching. My latest book on amazing artifacts and the places to find them has got to go out before the publisher's deadline."