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Thank you for your kind sound offer, when do you think that you will be able to cable $40,000 to my bank account in Guatemala or Panama? I will give you my bank account details in my next letter after you confirming acceptance of my generous offer. We do have PayPal facilities if you are having problems with banking.

I have been just speaking to the Countesses, and she tells me that while we are asset rich, but we do have a cash shortage because of maintaining our servants and house cleaners. In addition, we do have a Roller (Rolls Royce) that needs filling up, and there is my polo pony feed bill as well as my stable full of racehorses to upkeep. In the next fortnight I will be playing polo at the club with Prince Charles and Prince Phillip, so therefore for this expected visit, I have to spend further money on the maintenance of my polo ponies as well as buying plenty of exotic champagne and caviar. Then there is the maintenance and crew wages of my yacht moored at Cairns.

Then we have a very sick puddy carto (cat) called “Lucky”, aged 22, that needs an urgent operation by Professor Jess Carlson, a Mormon Vet in Salt Lake City, whose father happens to be charge of the Utah State Penitentiary executions. Kindly Jess is frequently giving away white overhauls, slightly singed around the wrists and ankles to the new believers for their baptism into the church. He is the only vet that can perform this delicate life threatening operation, which is going to cost $100,000, please can you help sick dying “Lucky” the cat, who was torn apart and nearly eaten alive after being attacked by seven vicious bred hungry American Pitbull Terriers. I know that you being such a kindhearted Christian/Muslim person that you could not bear to see “Lucky” our beloved pussycat die in such agony. Gordon Hinckley up to his death, an Elder and a prophet of the Mormon Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints was constantly praying for “Lucky” in the Temple at 50 W. North Temple St. Salt Lake City, UT 84150, United States. In addition, the Great Mufti in Jerusalem has been saying a few prayers for “Lucky” in the great Golden Mosque Al-Aqsa in Jerusalem. The Rabbi of Berlin has been holding services for “Lucky” at the Neue Berlin Synagogue, Oranienburgerstrasse 30, Berlin-Mitte. I understand that the Pontiff at the Vatican has requested that the holy pilgrims say a few words for “Lucky” in their prayers.

Please do send lots of money quickly.

I was wondering being a kind Christian/Jewish/Muslim gentleperson like you, would you like to come further to my financial assistance and rescue by investing in Montezuma’s Gold mine in Guatemala. This secret mine was only recently discovered through a chanced encounter in the dense steamy Guatemalan jungle, on a drinking and looting binge expedition led by the notorious Captain Pigwash of the famed “Golden Fleece Company”. Captain Pigwash has Mafioso connections to the Kremlin, and his company has operations in the Urals near the Caucus. It’s believed from Balboa sources from the museum achieves in Panama City, that Montezuma secretly hid several tons of gold or more of national treasure down this mine, thus to avoid it being captured by the advancing Cortez’s army that was approaching and encircling Montezuma’s army from both directions.

You understand the necessities of secrecy; otherwise, we have hoards of local inhabitants swarming the jungle trying to locate and steal this national treasure. “The Readers Digest” and “The National Geographic Society” are keen contenders for the discovery of the location of this national treasure. However the local inhabitants are very anti-gringo (hostile towards America) and this could cause unnecessary civil unrest and revolution.

For security, we can offer a large amount of cash US$20,000,000 from an arms deal that went unpleasantly wrong with the changeover of the governments in Columbia and Panama soon after 911. This deposited money is widely suspected to be El Qaeda’s for purchasing arms and munitions from these countries, and therefore both governments’ wishes this deposited money to evaporate; otherwise, Washington would be asking some very embarrassing questions. Presently this deposited money is with the “Damien Gap Bank” in Panama, and locked in a safety deposit box, labeled “personal family effects”. The problem being is that through actions of infiltrating Columbian leftwing guerillas banditos crossing the border and therefore forcing us to hire an armed local mercenary militia to extract this money.

The technical problem is that we need a bulldozer to unearth the entrance of the gold mine, and I was wondering if a kind honorable religious gentleperson like you would be interested investing US $40,000 into this culture venture. I can tell by that the way you write I can fully trust you; this is why I am offering you this once in a lifetime opportunity. This culture venture has the full backing of President El Sõnobitch and therefore he wants 10% cut, of which has to be paid into his secret Swiss Bank account. You must not tell anyone, therefore must be sworn to secrecy.

El President El Sõnobitch is quite willing to offer you a Guatemalan passport and thus you able to cross the border, and couple of days later you could be working in a high paying job in North America. Furthermore you can stay at President El Sõnobitch’s resorts for free for a few weeks, however if you like to have dynamic breath taking view of the local Aztec Pyramids and their structures, a small fee is charged to cover the local sales taxation which goes directly into the local hospital services.

However if you wish to invest in raising “The General Grant” a gold bullion carrying ship that sunk in Auckland Islands in 1868. There is talk of raising another exiting expedition to sail down on the “Black Pig” in July led with New Zealand’s famous Captain Keith “Super Sleuth” with Sir Edmund Hillary in charge. If you are interested, it is a Ho Ho and plenty of Free Rum and off we go, please let me know if you wish to donate $40,000 into this exciting adventure.

I have taken the liberty of pencil booking you and your partner on the “Hispaniola”, registered in Liberia, a converted cruise ship purposely designed to extract the tons of gold bars that are lying on the ocean floor. You will enormously benefit from the sea voyage, and what’s more, you will have my assurance that you will see plenty of whales and seals, as well as an occasional small iceberg in July. Captain Horatio Keith will permit you to steer the boat if you are sober. It is Ho Ho and plenty bottles of Rum, I assume that you being negroid that you would like to drink, well there is plenty of free alcohol on the voyage. There is plenty of on board entrainment on the leisurely cruise down to Auckland Islands, such as participating with the sailors doing “the hornpipe dance” on the deck, plenty of drinking, sunbathing and the occasional walking the plank half naked and drunk, of course attached to a safety rope of some kind. Our most popular entertainment is water-skiing, this involves the towing of one on water skies behind the wake of “The Black Pig”, and of course, there is plenty of swimming on board ship. While there may be a small element of risk, you are to treat this expedition as an adventure of your lifetime.

May the force be with you?

Yours truly

Baron Ludwig Von Zelfer

Ps please send lots of money quickly

The Countess De Sade says ‘Hi” to you

_________________Count De Sade

YastrebCommon Street Thawth Vergabon

Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 16173
Location: Leading my wolf pack

Posted:
Sun May 04, 2008 1:43 pm

I think you put a lot of thought into that reply for nothing - if the Lad reads it all the way through he's likely to ditch you.

One of the main rules of baiting is "Keep the first reply brief." Once you have the Lad firmly hooked - then you can become more expansive.

_________________I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

the Joke is that they reply to all this silly nonsense, they cannot figure it out.

"You double speak,your use of language is so unrefined and rustic,you are a perfect example of a demented opportunist."

maybe so, but I do have glory using my unrefined and rustic language resulting in untold saving of so many lives and millions of taxpayers dollars, and i am wonderful in court as an attorney. You British live in world of your own allowing the lawyers and barristers to screw you. I do like like knocking the shit out of professional women.

Seriously, though, writing a massively long email like that might be highly amusing in a self-congratulatory way, but only you will ever read it. I got about half way through and my eyes started to glaze over a bit, and I've usually got a good attention span.
A lad just interested in when you are sending him some of your money is not even going to get to the second or third paragraph before thinking you are either not worth bothering with or, at best, will reply with the next part of his script. Which I can guarantee will not make any reference to the flood of information you gave.

As Yastreb said... keep it short at the start. This is something one either gets told and believes, or learns the importance of it through experience and lots of bad starts.

_________________PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.

RoyalFlushEater U Quiz winner

Joined: 30 Dec 2007
Posts: 361
Location: One poker tourney or another

Posted:
Sun May 04, 2008 3:02 pm

Some lads do read your first replies. However, lads are notorious for being lazy. Most will not wade through several long paragraphs - especially those with unnecessary information.

P.S. To a lad, pretty much anything other than "The MTCN is:" is boring

I think most will if it's worded right. That includes the phrases you use and also getting the length/complexity right, too.
I have a collection of baits (both published here and either ongoing or too boring to be published) that show many lads responding to what I write in my first reply. The error that makes so many people so easily spout "Lads don't read your first reply" lies with the baiter's reply itself, in my opinion.

_________________PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
<--TS certified.

RoyalFlushEater U Quiz winner

Joined: 30 Dec 2007
Posts: 361
Location: One poker tourney or another

Posted:
Sun May 04, 2008 3:34 pm

Otter: good point. I stick to initial replies of just a couple of sentences - maybe three. Some lads acknowledge...others don't. I'm content either way, really, because they *are* replying. And they'll pay more attention later, when they're convinced that I'm about to cough up the cash.

_________________ x4

It's you and your family that don't have ENOUGH BRIAN CELLS.

I am dying because of your love you,ve impacted in me.

YastrebCommon Street Thawth Vergabon

Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 16173
Location: Leading my wolf pack

Posted:
Sun May 04, 2008 9:01 pm

~ CountDeSade,

Just a couple of points here:

[1] I'm not British.

[2] I didn't mean anything personal.

[3] That last line, taken out of context, sounds really bad.

_________________I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

Frederick Fokker:
"I am giving you about a month to get your act together, i am cutting you and the eater a bit of slack"
Dec 11, 2007

callumDirector of Press Relations

Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 3631
Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...

Posted:
Mon May 05, 2008 1:31 am

Your lad stopped reading after "Pau" and sent you his next standard reply. Good luck, and remember our job is to waste lad time, not our own

_________________Do you have a concern about ethics? Click here, then here and finally HERE!
Bush goat you will meat like a chicken. It will kill you in your house where you are going to die.
I owe you quite simply one of the definitive experiences of my life. x 2 teeny part of a large effort x29 x5
Trolling is usually symptomatic of bad character, mental problems or ugliness - RIP Jock_2009

CountDeSadeHello I'm New here!

Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 4
Location: Christchurch NZ

Posted:
Mon May 05, 2008 11:52 am

Yastreb wrote:

~ CountDeSade,

Just a couple of points here:

[1] I'm not British.

[2] I didn't mean anything personal.

[3] That last line, taken out of context, sounds really bad.

I sorry that I got off on wrong foot with you all, all what I wrote was based on hard experience. However I would admit I have had no Nigerians scammers or their ilk have sent me any money. Supposing that they did, it would be embarrassment to me as I do not want handle any money whatsoever. The reason being that I am involved in lawyer and police corruption busting

These Nigerians scammers are criminals and hoodlums hiding under their veneer skin of western cultivation. One an be rest assured that once you left the safety of your surroundings around a computer or television screen and entered their sanctuary. Just supposing that you posed a threat to the scammers’ livelihood in anyway, within minutes after leaving Lagos’s airport most likely you would be held up at AK47 gunpoint, then raped if you are woman, or kidnapped for ransom, or in all likelihood murdered. I would strongly advise the baiters not make out they have sent money to an agent or a confederate (such as a woman’s bank account) nominated by the scammer. The scammer if he thought he was being ripped off, or double-crossed in anyway, he would thereby seek revenge and thus could bash or slash up and disfigure the confederate. Don’t think for one moment that these criminal people wouldn’t, for they are quite capable of doing anything.

What you must understand is that Nigeria is a third world country, and its only economy is selling Gasoline and Tin, which surprisingly very little of that revenue benefits the Nigerian masses. The country also produces coca beans, which I understand that “a large chocolate European manufacturer” overpays the natives 10 cents a kilo. They also produce coffee beans which is another high earner at 10 cents a kilo, just like the coca beans. You might appreciate the joke that when you drink a cup of coffee in British coffee house for the price two to four Pounds a cup, these third world countries of this world receive almost nothing for their labors. You could call it “bob a job”. The Nigerian natives are in their 7th happiness importing and driving around in over 10 year old cars from Germany.

Therefore since the internet revolution, “a lets rip off and lets us get rich” industry has developed, and everybody including the Nigerian police, governmental officials and their internet providers are involved in the widespread internet scam, for it has become the lifeblood of the country and makes more foreign earnings then selling all coca beans and coffee beans put together.

However there are a group of people that are worse then the Nigerian scammers and these are the New Zealand lawyers and barristers modeled on the corrupt British legal system. When it comes to the New Zealand lawyers’ legal dealings of who I may add regularly rip off clients with total immunity, thus making the Nigerian nickel and dime scammers comparable to the antics of a bunch of girl scouts at a jamboree.

...However there are a group of people that are worse then the Nigerian scammers and these are the New Zealand lawyers and barristers modeled on the corrupt British legal system.

So that's where all those 'Nigerian lawyers' got it from. I often wondered.

That last paragraph is bordering on one of we three things we don't discuss on this forum, religion, politics and sex, oh yes and also cash baiting, oh, and also why Shiver left to have his <cough> sex change operation and is now called Barbara and writing chicklit, allegedly.

_________________Â£1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah

TsnerdNot quite a Newb

Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41

Posted:
Mon May 05, 2008 12:24 pm

I'll just lock this now before it becomes something else.

Quote:

I sorry that I got off on wrong foot with you all

Why don't we just leave it at that? Please take some time to read the forums, and get a good feel for what is and isn't acceptable, ok?

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