12/28/10

Having a Hard Time

I'm having a hard time right now.

last night I was overwhelmed with fear about this whole process. A cloud of dread took me over. I felt this sense of unreality and doubt, and worried that it was all the wrong choice. I didn't even know exactly what was scaring me so much, but I felt really scared to be pregnant. It was out of the blue, and I didn't like it one bit.

I was feeling a lot going on in my uterus, it felt very full, and had been crampy for days.

And now this morning, the pregnancy test line is fainter than yesterday. I am terrified that I am having a chemical pregnancy. My beta is tomorrow. I tested positive on 5dp5dt, the line was a little darker 6dp5dt (yesterday), and today it is a little lighter.

4 comments:

I am thinking of you. I really hope you are mistaken and that all is well with the pregnancy. IVF is so hard with all the waiting and worrying. Sending you lots of hugs from England. Good luck for your beta tomorrow.

About Me

I just turned 49 years old, TTC with donor eggs. I eloped to Hawaii with the sweetest guy ever, in January, and then had a beautiful and full of love wedding on a mountaintop in October, after being single for-ever and thinking I would be single for the rest of my life. New York City is my hometown, but 5 years ago I fulfilled a dream for myself and bought myself a cottage in the country, 2 hours upstate. Now I live there. It's wonderful, but sometimes I miss the city.