"From the most humble roots you've become a powerhouse in both education and sports. And just wait until the world hears the football teams you'll be playing on your schedule starting next season. President Falwell gave me a list of some of those schools, the ones you're going to be playing 2018. Would you like me to read the names? Just came out, would you like to hear them? I'm a little bit concerned. UMass, Virginia, Auburn — Jerry, are you sure you know what you're doing? Jerry, Auburn? I don't know about that James. This could be trouble, Jerry. Rutgers, Old Dominion, Brigham Young, Army — I might be at that game, who am I supposed to root for? Tell me. I don't know. That's a tough one, Jerry. I don't know, Jerry, I'm going to have to think about that one, Jerry. Buffalo, Troy, Virginia Tech, oh no, Jerry, Ole Miss and wake forest, those are really top schools. maybe in four or five years I'll come to a game, right, you'll build it up. Well good luck."

" In my short time in Washington I've seen firsthand how the system is broken. A small group of failed voices who think they know everything and understand everyone want to tell everybody else how to live and what to do and how to think. But you aren't going to let other people tell you what you believe, especially when you know that you're right. And those of you graduating here today, who have given half a million hours of charity last year alone, unbelievable amount of work and charity and few universities or colleges can claim anything even close, we don't need a lecture from Washington on how to lead our lives."

What he totally missed was that he was there, from Washington, lecturing them on how to lead their lives. At least until he moved onto other wacky topics.