The Hunchback and the Notre-Dame Gusher

Aight, so I have no idea how many exact days that oil has been gushing out of the Gulf of Mexico since I lost count after day 65. In any event, I was vexed by day 7. The first seven days weren’t so bad for me since we, the people/the controlled civilians, had no idea what was really “gushing on.”

So here we, British Petroleum’s environmental gusher. Big shout-out to Halleburton and indeed we can agree that Karma is a bitch for both of them. Now, the CEO of BP was out on a sail boat race somewhere in the Pacific on like Day 62, chillin’ while Obama was playing Golf.

The American military has NO technology to fix this mess so how about we rewind back to April 20th when this all happened…by the way, I’ve got a hunch, a HUGE Hunch–bigger than the Notre-Dame Hunchback’s and Milan Lucic’s combined–that BP knew from the get go that it was 100,000 barrels/day that was spewing out the broken pipe in the first place.

Back to when it all Began…

When it comes to the young Presidency of Barack Obama, and for the nation, this hellish summer of discontent started in balmy spring, on April 20th, forty miles off the Louisiana coast in the Gulf of Mexico.

By May 17th—the day that the chief executive officer of BP predicted that “the environmental impact of this disaster is likely to have been very, very modest”—it was obvious that what was unfolding was the single biggest environmental catastrophe in the history of the United States. By last Tuesday, June 15th, when President Obama commandeered the networks for his first address to the nation from the Oval Office, the per-day estimate had been ratcheted up to sixty thousand barrels—a thousand every twenty-four minutes.

The surface muck was fouling Florida beaches and Louisiana wetlands, leaving doomed seabirds shrouded in black; just as ominous, huge subsurface blobs were leaching oxygen from the depths, threatening to suffocate an entire ocean ecosystem. The Times was describing the governmental response as chaotic, “bedeviled by a lack of preparation, organization, urgency and clear lines of authority among federal, state and local officials.” And Obama himself was under attack from all sides, with even admirers berating him for seeming coolly detached and not angry enough.

So let’s face the TRUTH: The ultimate cause of the Gulf disaster is out-of-control consumption of a dwindling resource that must be extracted in increasingly dangerous ways. The most effective, most efficient way to rein in that consumption and make clean energy price-competitive would be to slap a heavy tax on carbon.

But really, is now the time to talk about other forms and modes of “environmentally friendly” means of getting around? I wonder why this problem isnt fixed, when you think about it, everybody is powerless to fix this broken pipe, could you imagine if this happened to the Russians, I wonder what means they wouldve tried, Im only happy that at least this happened to the Americans since if this were in Russian waters, Lord help us (and them with their archaic engineering equipment from the Commie days.)

I could only pray that this Global “Superpower” in the form of the United States of America gets this ridiculous pipe fixed or clogged.