The Amused Reader

Jay Leno's way of reading the Readings was not universally appreciated...

Some weeks ago I was at a Novus Ordo Mass in a well-known London neighbourhood, and an oldish woman started with the readings.

She probably had heard too much about they “joy” filling the heart of every Catholic, because she started reading with such a diverted tone you would have thought she was telling a joke. “Mussolini, Hitler and Stalin sit near each other in an aeroplane….”. Exactly that tone, only it was the Old Testament she was reading.

I was not the only one noticing the incongruence, because looking around I saw some ironic smirking. The good woman was doing her best, no doubt; and as for her feeling oh so very special, she was certainly not worse than every other indulging in such post-V II exercises.

Still, I thought this was another reason to leave something as important as the Mass as far as possible in the hands of the professionals. Involuntary comedy is still rather too comedic for something as serious as the Mass.

The handbook for lectors here in the states has them reading with such an odd, peculiar cadence I just want to cringe, scream, and throw something. It is absolutely unbearable. Some lectors simply ignore the recommendations, but others (mostly women, I’m sad to say, drink the Kool-Aid and carry out the diktat with abandon–more rotten fruit of the Post Vatican II set). One day all this silliness will pass away, but alas, I will probably be gone, too. On the other hand, perhaps I’ll be in the company of the angels and saints. Can only hope.

Yes, I think women are more often than men the source of problems in this respect, as the effeminate post-Vatican II panders to emotionalism a lot, with which the naturally more emotional women are more likely to resonate.

I don’t think there is a solution for this other than the priest or you going elsewhere. Again, the V II system of lay councils and assorted busy-boding organs makes it very difficult for a priest without a good set (= most of them) to react to the praxis.

I was away at my parents’ house and went to a parish, not their normal, for mass this past Sunday morning. Beautiful, architecturally traditional church, and the closest to the house I just purchased there to move into next winter. Both older lady lectors used the exact same style to read as you mention and Akita-ette further describes. I felt like we were at a broadway play. It was absolutely grating, like nails on a chalkboard. Between that and the super-fun rockband “choir” playing good times tunes, I will not be joining this one once moved. I won’t have my son growing up to this nonsense.

Comedian Des Bishop’s bit on his over-enthusiastic lectoring as a teenager in Boston – slamming shut the lectionary as he intoned “The Word of The Lord!” – has brought a smile or two in the past. These days I find lay readers in the Novus Ordo an irritant at the best of times.

When the epistle is read in Latin from the horn of the altar, or chanted according to the required tone, there is, as with the rest of Sancta Missae, zero room for “interpretation” – which makes one wonder, was this perhaps the reason for such strictures in the first place? Something about the requirements of divine worship eclipsing the personalities involved? Fascinating possibility..

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Pope XII: “Suicide Of Altering the Faith In Her Liturgy…..”

"I am worried by the Blessed Virgin's messages to Lucy of Fatima. This persistence of Mary about the dangers which menace the Church is a divine warning against the suicide of altering the Faith, in Her liturgy, Her theology and Her soul. … I hear all around me innovators who wish to dismantle the Sacred Chapel, destroy the universal flame of the Church, reject Her ornaments and make Her feel remorse for Her historical past.
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Eugenio Pacelli, future Pius XII.

Roche, "Pie XII Devant L'Historie", p. 52-53

G.K. Chesterton: Malice & Spite

"If a critic tells a particular lie, that particular lie can be pointed out. If he misses a specific point, that point can be explained. If he is really wrong in this or that, it will be on this or that that the insulted person will eagerly pounce. But “malice and spite” are vague words which will never be used except when there is really nothing to pounce on. If a man says that I am a dwarf, I can invite him to measure me. If he says I am a cannibal, I can invite him to dinner. If he says I am a coward, I can hit him. If he says I am a miser, I can give him half-a-sovereign. But if he says I am fat and lazy (which is true), the best I can answer is that he speaks out of malice and spite. Whenever we see that phrase, we may be almost certain that somebody has told the truth about somebody else."
The Illustrated London News, 13 November 1909.

G.K. Chesterton: Dogma & Authority

The modern world will accept no dogmas upon any authority; but it will accept any dogmas on no authority. Say that a thing is so, according to the Pope or the Bible, and it will be dismissed as a superstition without examination. But preface your remark merely with “they say” or “don’t you know that?” or try (and fail) to remember the name of some professor mentioned in some newspaper; and the keen rationalism of the modern mind will accept every word you say.

G.K. Chesterton: Progress & Fashion

The world is what the saints and the prophets saw it was; it is not merely getting better or merely getting worse; there is one thing that the world does; it wobbles. Left to itself, it does not get anywhere; though if helped by real reformers of the right religion and philosophy, it may get better in many respects, and sometimes for considerable periods. But in itself it is not a progress; it is not even a process; it is the fashion of this world that passeth away. Life in itself is not a ladder; it is a see-saw.

G.K. Chesterton: Tradition

“Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about.”

Ronald Reagan & The Unborn Children

"NOW THEREFORE, I, RONALD REAGAN, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim and declare the unalienable Personhood of every American, from the moment of conception until natural death, and I do proclaim, ordain, and declare that I will take care that the Constitution and laws of the United States are faithfully executed for the protection of America's unborn children. Upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind and the gracious favor of Almighty God. I also proclaim Sunday, January 17, 1988, as a national Sanctity of Human Life Day. I call upon the citizens of this blessed land to gather on that day in their homes and places of worship to give thanks for the gift of life they enjoy and to reaffirm their commitment to the dignity of every human being and sanctity of every human life".

George W. Bush & Those Waiting To Be Born

“All human life is a gift from our creator that is sacred, unique and worthy of protection. On National Sanctity of Human Life Day, our country recognizes that each person, including every person waiting to be born, has a special place and purpose in this world”. [...]

“The most basic duty of government is to protect the life of the innocent. [...]

“The sanctity of life is written in the hearts of all men and women. On this day and throughout the year, we aspire to build a society in which every child is welcome in life and protected in law. We also encourage more of our fellow Americans to join our just and noble cause. History tells us that with a cause rooted in our deepest principles and appealing to the best instincts of our citizens, we will prevail.”

George W. Bush
Presidential proclamation of "National Sanctity of Human Life Day", January 18, 2009