THEY TOOK THE GUNS AWAY? ISN'T THAT SUPPOSED TO BE IMPOSSIBLE?

The socialist leader of Venezuela announced in a speech to regime loyalists his plan to arm hundreds of thousands of supporters after a years-long campaign to confiscate civilian-owned guns.

"A gun for every militiaman!" Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro said to uniformed militia members outside the presidential palace, Fox News reported on Tuesday. The Bolivarian militias, created by Maduro's predecessor Hugo Chavez, already number in the hundreds of thousands and are being used to supplement the regime's armed forces. Maduro is boosting the number of armed supporters in hopes of keeping control over the country from what he labels "imperialist aggression."

The arming of Maduro's supporters comes five years after Venezuela's socialist regime outlawed the commercial sale and civilian ownership of firearms. Only the military, police, and groups like security companies can buy guns and only directly from one state-run arms company under the law passed in 2012, according to the BBC. The country recently doubled down on its gun ban through a combination of gun buybacks and confiscations in the summer of 2016.

The law has prevented most civilians from keeping firearms, though they are readily available on the black market....

Wait -- I'm confused. Venezuelan citizens had guns, but the arming of these citizens was curtailed by new laws, buybacks, and now confiscations? Isn't that the exact opposite of what's supposed to happen when citizens own guns?

I thought the point of private gun ownership was that when the government tried to take the guns, citizens would automatically rise up against jackbooted tyranny. You mean that doesn't inevitably happen? You mean gun ownership doesn't inevitably protect citizens' freedom? Are you saying that, in the real world -- as opposed to gun owners' fantasy world -- a government confronted with an armed population can simply disarm that population, using a combination of persuasion and state power? And then arm itself until it has unquestionably superior firepower?

American gun advocates have been lying to us all this time. Who'd have thought?