I was asked by a bar owner friend of mine to create a promotion for him, which I agreed to do. He wanted me to host it, but I told him that I wasn't going to host events at another bar in Allston, thus competing against myself.

To that end, I posted on Craigslist in search of a host. This is the first time in my life that I've been tasked with hiring somebody. I've received a couple of well-written responses, but I'm also baffled by what some people think constitutes a reply that will get the attention of a prospective employer:

-One woman replied by giving their first name and telephone number. That's it. Wait, I'm supposed to pick up the phone and beg you to tell me your qualifications?

-Another guy said "If you take a chance on me, I guarantee you won't be dissapointed." One, this is an employer's market, in case you haven't read a newspaper in two years. I don't "take chances," I hire winners. Two, if you're going to host a spelling bee promotion for me, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SPELL DISAPPOINTED CORRECTLY.

-A man replied by typing "rock star wanted" in the subject line (which is not what I billed) and said "My availability is pretty open, let me know what day/ time you plan on having this spectacle function."

I got one I really liked, though, so we'll see how this goes.

"and yes, an autistic kid is right." - MCA

"I didn't threaten your sister. It would be the time of her life. fucking unicorns would come out of the sky and start singing and shit." - B Luc to Basket