10 Weird Beard and Mustache Designs

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Today’s post comes from the zone where normal things don’t happen very often. The zone of weirdos and the weird things they like, such as these ten weird beard and mustache designs. Beards and mustaches have become increasingly cool lately, and you’ll often see young men sporting tees with ironic slogans, pipe drain jeans and trucker caps, which they will accessorize with facial hair. True, beards and mustaches can be cool, or even make a guy look dashing, but sometimes… too much is just too much.

1. The Octo-Beard

The number one item on our list of ten weirdest bear and mustache designs comes from Matt Rainwaters’ Beardfolio, a collection of portraits featuring men with unusual, odd or otherwise extravagant facial hair. These men, however, don’t just sport goatees or soul-patches. Oh no. Those are for wimps and hipster kids. They go for full-on gnarly beards. Such as this fantabulous tentacle-beard which, willingly or not, tends to remind one of an octopus.

2. The Sea Lion Beard

Part lumberjack, part post-modern, ironic, Nick Cave-inspired, this look tends to remind us of a Sea Lion. It probably has something to do with the awfully bored look on the face of its bearer. Irrespectively, we admire the owner of this title on our list of weird beard and mustache designs for the intense combing he probably has to put into his grooming every morning. Or so we hope, at least…

3. The Gravity-Defying Beard

Now this is one long ‘stache. Can you imagine the amount of hairspray that has to go into it, in order to make it look like this? This item on our list of weird beard and mustache designs has something playful about it, reminding us of an old magician, full of cool tricks. However, as far as practicality, or a getting a tax-paying job are concerned… we’re not so sure it’s that cool.

4. The Darth-Vader-ish Beard and Mustache Design

This guy didn’t make our list of weird beard and mustache designs for no reason. Not only is his bear awfully long and unnaturally straight – he definitely has to comb it and apply hairspray every day. He decided it would be ‘awesome’ to pair it with curled-up mustaches, that seem to compete for reaching his ears at top speed.

5. The Dali

This look is obviously inspired by surrealist painter Salvador Dali. Now, Salvador Dali was a weirdo, but he also happened to be an artistic genius. Unfortunately for the less gifted weirdos out there, society has this double standard, inasmuch as it forgives brilliant minds their little oddities, yet bashes non-geniuses on a regular basis. That’s exactly what we’re doing here. So, no, Mr. Fake Dali, this does not look good on you.

6. World’s Longest Beard

This gingerly character is something of a cult icons among dudes who like to sport weird beard and mustache designs. This is David Traver, winner of the 2009 world title of Longest Natural Bear. We can’t say we don’t admire his resilience, but still… Wouldn’t want to be alone in a dark room with this.

7. The Brandenburg Gate Beard

The owner of this item on our list of weird beard and mustache designs lists probably thinks he has taken facial hair-growing to an art. After all, he has transformed his mustache into the world famous symbol of Berlin – the Brandenburg Gate. While the intricacy of the design and the amount of effort that went into it are to be commended… We don’t know about walking down the street with it. You can seriously harm someone with that thing!

8. The Mustache Bagel

This item on the weird beard and mustache designs list comes from the World Beard and Mustache Championship, where a lot of these designs were proudly featured, as a matter of fact. It’s not actually called ‘The Bagel’, but it sure does look like one! Mmm… fresh baked bagels…

9. Feline Ferociousness

This guy right here sure must love cats, because he chose to grow whiskers just like theirs! What word could best describe this? Freaky? Weird… That’s just too light… In any case, it amazes us how these guys will go to great lengths (sometimes literally) and use tons of products (in this case hair gel or hair wax) for their beards and mustaches, not for the hair on their heads!

10. Beard Cages

This impossibly strange design comes from the National Beard and Mustache Championships in Tacoma. It is too weird for words to actually begin describing it. Not only does it have us wondering on the architecture and engineering behind it, but it actually features a functioning door which allows the owner to eat and drink through.