Adulting since 2011

Smartphones, Social Media and the other Sins of Modern Dating

I will be the first to admit that I can’t live without my iPhone. It helps me remember everyone’s phone number, keeps me on top of my bank account balance, reminds me when I have plans and how to get to where ever I need. My phone’s become a necessity in my life, kind of like my house keys or my wallet, and I am rarely without it.

I can’t argue against the need we have for our phones, but I will argue that it has ruined dating.

How our Smartphones have Ruined Dating

Our smartphones have made us so smart that they have taken away our need to talk to strangers, and talking to strangers I have learned is the first step of dating. Unless you want to date your cousin.

I didn’t realize that my iPhone had become a barrier in dating until I forgot it one night on the way to meet my friends at a bar. For once I did not go back to get it. I didn’t know exactly where I was going as I had planned on checking the exact address of the bar in the cab.

Once my cab dropped me off at the main intersection, I had to ask two passing strangers (cute, male ones) for directions to the bar. They pointed the bar out politely, but I could tell by their reactions to being asked for directions does not happen very often and they didn’t know how to react.

Being phone-less at the bar was less of a problem then I thought. I didn’t miss any important texts or tweets, and wasn’t distracted by “my phone.” Instead I interacted with my friends and other life humans at the bar. Including a male friend of one of my friends who joined us. Turned out we had a lot in common and we ended up staying and chatting until the bar closed.

The experience of being phone-less made me realize that because we have this magical thing called an iPhone, we are missing out on meeting attractive members of the opposite sex. Think about it. How many social interactions have we lost because of our Smartphones, the Internet and Social Media? And how many of these gave us an opportunity to strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger?

Opportunities for Conversation we miss out on because we are on our damned phones:

Instead of asking for directions, we check Google maps

Instead of asking for the time, we check our phones.

While we wait in a line, we post a status about how boring it is to be waiting in line instead of striking up a conversation with the attractive guy with good hair in front of us on the same topic.

Asking to borrow someone’s newspaper never even crosses our mind as we wait to get to the office / home to google about it.

We tweet our commentary on the sporting event we are watching instead of making those same comments to the person sitting next to us.

Instead of asking a stranger to take a photo of us and a historical landmark or monument when we are on a trip by ourselves, we take a selfie.

Instead of saying “hello” to the hottie across the room, we check if they are on Tinder.

You might be thinking – who cares? How many times a day do people really talk to strangers? And doesn’t online dating make up for it?

No! Online dating is a cesspool of heartbroken, rejected, the strange, the douchy & some normal people. Trying to find someone on a dating site is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. It’s possible but good luck.

Meeting a person in real life increases your odds of making a connection and it is more fun. It is more fun to meet a person when you are out and doing something, or dressed nice, instead of in your pajamas through a swipe of your thumb.

So put that phone down my single friend, get out of the house and make eye contact with that cute guy sitting across from you.