s h e only j u s t learnt how to f a l l , and she did not expect it to h u r t so much

12.3.11

Desperate needs.

I'm not much one for praying. I find it useless--a futile attempt in wanting all your dreams and desires and leaving it to invisible forces to carry them out for you. Why can't you use your own efforts and your own power to make your dreams happen? Why can't you work towards your goals instead, put in every drop of sweat and blood and make it happen with your own hands? Of course you can.

But now I know, that sometimes when disaster strikes. Natural disasters, you can't do anything. You can fight against it, work to survive but you can't stop it. You definitely can't even do much when you're far away from the place of disaster and all you do is cry and bite your nails and realize that you are praying--hoping.

The Dreamer.

"--between the lines, that's where i'll be..."

I'm a pisces and I live to step into the expectations of that horoscope by just barely clinging onto the edge of survival. I deny reality and instead my world is filled with nothing but barren fantasies lurking in flickering shadows. I'm an honest dreamer, a selfish liar, a empathetic succubus, a watchful doll and my life is as significant as a flickering candle--just waiting, waiting to grow into an inferno.

I'm nowhere near even barely reaching the age where adults would take someone insignificant like myself seriously, yet for me, age is just an orthodox figure. Running headlong through life filled with unneeded expectations and pressure far beyond what one should receive is an everyday experience for me but who thinks about such trivial matters?

Who am I really? There is just me, my thoughts, my dreams, and the secrets of my heart laid bare in black-tipped ink for the world to see. You may scoff, laugh, grimace, sympathize, but don't judge me so easily-- you only see what I want you to see.

"between hello and goodbye, i'll give you the moon..."

InnocentStrangers.

Don't Even.

Words.

2012.

--"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when I can reach for the stars"

Dear Anonymous You,I love blogging. Pouring my heart out in words, fragmented photographs and carefully stitched sentences is one of the many fragile lifelines that i'm hanging on to. Though I have never seen you before and you are just one in a million faces hidden behind a computer screen, it's comforting to know that the possibility of someone acknowledging my mundane online existence is actually...possible.