Thursday, October 20, 2011

Love & Embrace Your Fear(s)...Then Let It Go!

A friend of mine on facebook posted, "...I am SO EXCITED and SCARED!!!..." My response to the post was embrace and talk to your fear and let it go. It reminded me of so many times I've had to face my fears...even recently.

I've taken many leaps off ledges into my fears just this year alone. Homeschooling our daughter, becoming a doula...my first client, studying to become a midwife...helping my friend deliver her baby at home. All can be a tad fearful if never experienced before, but what I have learned with past fears, is that it didn't kill me! If anything, I learned a lot about myself and whomever or whatever was involved in the situation. Here lately, my husband and I have been intensely discussing LEAVING this great state of Texas...not knowing where we want to go or end up. At first, I had a little fear because I've never left Texas, hell, leaving Dallas was a huge leap in itself! I had to really search within, why I was fearful...it was fear of the unknown...then my fear turned into excitement. I realized that in that moment, I embraced my fear then let it go.

During my midwifery studies, I find myself having a similar fear. First, was the fear of not knowing what I'm doing...when indeed I do...it's called trusting your intuition! Fear embraced & let go! While digging a little deeper and watching more and more videos and reading blogs of women just empowered by the simple fact they listened to their bodies and not outside folks...it had me thinking about expanding our own family. While it has already begun to expand and the outcome hasn't been as "planned", that began the fear. Then thinking about other's feelings in the event we did become pregnant (their jealousy, their self pity, their ANGER, etc.) created even more fear because I don't want people to feel what I certainly don't want to feel. Then the doosey...fear of having children and not being able to juggle my "job" outside of the home as well as my "job" inside the home. Now, I'm looking at myself like WTF?! Why are YOU continually getting in YOUR way?

I must say, those fears weren't going away until I dealt with them, embrace them and let them go! First, I am aware that having no expectations lead to clearly seeing the lesson being taught to you. Second, how people feel is just how people are going to feel. If that's their emotion, THEY need to deal with their OWN emotion. No need to let how someone else feels to steal the peace, love & joy YOU have...taking you out of your character! If they have jealousy, self pity, anger, etc., then there is a FEARthey themselves have not been able to embrace and let go of...YET! Lead by example! Last, but certainly not least, I realize, "I GOT THIS!" I have a juggling act now...why have a fear of adding a few extra "balls" to the routine?! :-)

Once I was able to recognize the fear, acknowledge it, talk to it, and give it some love....I was able to let it go! My ego may let it creep in...but it certainly isn't for long...if it creeps in at all! I'm ok with whatever emotion I may feel at whatever moment, especially fear. I automatically know that there is something I gotta deal with before I move forward learning a new lesson! And we have a lot of learning to do!