Yeah, last line is sick. Pacing and meter is really quite stellar. I was really tired of amateur attempts at profundities and epic failures on this site, and others I moderate. I get spammed with read requests and I'm tired. This poem cheered me. Thanks.

maidahl, that's my hip hop pentameter coming out, and yeah, I like it. I'm pleased with how it turned out.
Juilingstar177, thanks!
Nadja, good titles work... I appreciate the nominate.
SadLoner, the pieces are waiting to pour out on all topics!
FireHill, definitely, all things need work. I appreciate you noticing my absence too- that's flattering.

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Some of my poetry and short stories are online at To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I don't know how this escaped me – I'm always on the lookout for your poems and I've been craving a new one. You are so good at causing an effect in your reader without beating them over the head with it. I mean, this is ultimately an existential piece, about struggle and endurance and experience – and to what end? Because, this is life, and that's all. It's impossible to come away from this without feeling inspired. With your precise style, it's never about showing or telling, but rather being, if that makes any sense. Also, what I love about your work is it's impossible to pick out a single line or image as particularly affecting or beautiful because every single word you use is essential to the whole piece. I think that's the mark of a unique talent.

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