Why (and How) To Date Multiple People At Once

September 6, 2015

By

By Laurel House

First, let me say that just because you’re dating a couple of different people, doesn’t mean that you are superficial, flighty, slutty, soul-less, or direction-less. This is about actually finding Mr. Right/Mrs. Right (or at least Right Now).

If you want to know how to date online, it’s about adapting an attitude of abundance. In this age of Internet dating, where the expectation is that you very well could have more than one date set up, hunkering down and being exclusive (i.e.: boyfriend/girlfriend, committed, monogamous) with each person you meet could end up being a big fat waste of time. The first date, if not the first 3 dates, are really preliminary dates. You are getting to know each other. You aren’t sleeping together yet. You are just feeling each other out (which doesn’t necessarily mean feeling each other up either!). Once you feel a true connection, that’s when you know it’s time to stop dating the others, and even if there aren’t any others, that’s when you pull yourself off the market and stop looking for something different/better and start focusing your attention on just one.

How to Date Multiple People at Once:

1. Be totally in the moment with each guy/chick.

I know, you just had a fantastic date with the last one, but you can’t let it diminish your enthusiasm for this one. Give them a fair shot, too. What does that mean? Don’t psyche yourself out. Don’t think about the other one on the date with this one. Be all there, or not at all.

2. Diversify

Diversify in terms of the types of people you date. If you “can’t find a good guy/girl" but you keep dating the same type of guy/girl, just try to stray from your “type" and see if you might find chemistry with someone who might be a little different from your norm. You could be surprised.

3. Be Honest with Yourself

Why are you dating this guy/girl? What about that guy/girl? What is it that you are attracted to? Turned on by? Put off by? How do you feel when you are together? How is the conversation? Do you really love making out with them? Are you truly interested in what they have to say? Do you feel like a priority? Or are you just with them because of superficial and surface reasons like looks, money, status… or maybe because you think you “should," or they fit into your paper-perfect box (but honestly don’t do anything for you). When you’re not together, think about where your head goes when you want comfort, when you want advice, when you want to bounce ideas off of someone. No one person can provide EVERYTHING that you are looking for (that’s why we have friends), but it’s about finding the person who is the best fit for you. Don’t be too quick to cut them loose just because they aren’t everything you are looking for. Are they most things? Or rather, the important things? Do you share the same core values?

4. Be Honest with Him/Her

If you aren’t feeling it, don’t keep him hanging on. If you aren’t sure, maybe go on one more date to find out. But don’t delay the inevitable if you already know that you are going to cut the line.

Now, go out, have fun, laugh, be inspired, be open, don’t search for love but be open to it, prepared for it, and emotionally available when it comes.

Don't have the time to actually go out? Use the advantages of the Internet and try out online dating!

Laurel House

Laurel House is an International Dating Coach and Online Dating Expert, and she has been a featured expert on The TODAY Show, E! News, Good Morning America, Nightline, Glamour, AskMen, and dozens of other print, online, and television outlets, with her dating advice videos receiving over 20 million views on YouTube. Her 5th book "Screwing The Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love” was published in December 2014 with Running Press. Learn more about Laurel.

Advertising Disclosure

This site is a free online resource that strives to offer helpful content and comparison features to its visitors. Please be advised that the operator of this site accepts advertising compensation from companies that appear on the site, and such compensation impacts the location and order in which the companies (and/or their products) are presented, and in some cases may also impact the rating that is assigned to them. To the extent that ratings appear on this site, such rating is determined by our subjective opinion and based on a methodology that aggregates our analysis of brand market share and reputation, each brand's conversion rates, compensation paid to us and general consumer interest. Company listings on this page DO NOT imply endorsement. We do not feature all providers on the market. Except as expressly set forth in our Terms of Use, all representations and warranties regarding the information presented on this page are disclaimed. The information, including pricing, which appears on this site is subject to change at any time.

Designed to help users make confident decisions online, this website contains information about a wide range of products and services. Certain details, including but not limited to prices and special offers, are provided to us directly from our partners and are dynamic and subject to change at any time without prior notice. Though based on meticulous research, the information we share does not constitute legal or professional advice or forecast, and should not be treated as such.

Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.

This site is a free online resource that strives to offer helpful content and comparison features to its visitors. Please be advised that the operator of this site accepts advertising compensation from companies that appear on the site, and such compensation impacts the location and order in which the companies (and/or their products) are presented, and in some cases may also impact the rating that is assigned to them. To the extent that ratings appear on this site, such rating is determined by our subjective opinion and based on a methodology that aggregates our analysis of brand market share and reputation, each brand's conversion rates, compensation paid to us and general consumer interest. Company listings on this page DO NOT imply endorsement. We do not feature all providers on the market. Except as expressly set forth in our Terms of Use, all representations and warranties regarding the information presented on this page are disclaimed. The information, including pricing, which appears on this site is subject to change at any time.

Close

Our site uses cookies. If you would like to learn how to manage your cookies settings, read more about cookies here. Further use of this site will be considered consent.