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BIW Versus The Bachelor

So, since I haven’t had ABC since I moved into this farmhouse 8 years ago, I didn’t know what I was missing until recently when we got ABC. The Bachelor, as it turns out, is quite a dramatic show. Boy was I in for a treat.

I have always watched the perverted uncle off-shoots of the Bachelor... you know, Rock of Love with Brett Michaels, or the Flavor of Love with Flavor Flav. Somehow these shows seemed completely normal to me because they fell so far out of the realm of actual reality that they could only be my reality television guilty pleasure. And pleasurable it was.

But the Bachelor--the real Bachelor---leaves me feeling, well, a little bit creeped out. It’s all a bit strange, if you ask me; these "normal" women expecting to meet this "normal" guy and fall in love and get married. At least on the other shows we all knew that Brett Michaels or Flavor Flav had other, real life relationships and that no one was really getting married. These women actually believe that this could be their ticket to love.

And why is it no one mentions how creepy it is that Ben, the Bachelor, is making out with all these women? It’s like a spit swap-a-thon 24/7. Is this supposed to be acceptable, like, especially in hindsight (which is technically now because this was filmed months before) when the “winner” has to watch as Ben tells ALL the ladies that they are so awesome and they have this chemistry together?

Another thing: these damn dates. How are any men supposed to live up to this stuff? Perhaps this is the reason that women have such unrealistic expectations, and thus, epic disappointments in their real-life dating situations. I mean, snow in San Francisco streets? Fireworks while you kiss after dinner? And there is so much more to come that the dates will only become more nauseating as we go.

But I guess there is something about completing over a man with 20 other beautiful woman that makes a woman’s panties wet, though I can’t tell you what it is. Acting like a slut in that situation is completely forgivable, as is Ben’s sticking his tongue down every girl’s throat. What will happen, though, when he starts having sex with these multiple women and they all catch a case of crabs?

Who will win the Bachelor this season? My prediction is no one... in the game of love, these people who go on television in search of something genuine, if you ask me, are all losers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still watching it. I’m hooked on that sly little Ben character. Nothing is better than a seemingly nice guy who got his heart broken exacting calculated revenge upon a group of bimbos (and a few genuinely nice women) under the guise of compassion.