…a boomer muses about life, change, joys, sorrows and freedom from the prison of corporate life.

The Mystery Next Door

Several friends have asked me how my new neighbor is working out. Well, considering how annoying, rude and obnoxious the last neighbors were, this guy is a prince! I never hear him and rarely see him. Part of that, I attribute to his hours. I mentioned that he works for Fed Ex. What I forgot to mention is that he leaves for work at about 2:30 A.M.!!! Then he seems to get home sometime between 1:00 and 2:00 p.m. So, in some ways, it feels like I have no neighbor over there at all, which is not a bad thing.

But there remains a mystery. When I met this man, he told me he and his 23 year old son had moved in. The son allegedly attends college and works part-time. All the rest of the time he plays video games in the basement, according to his dad.

Okay. But, it’s been over a month now and I’ve seen no evidence at all of a son. No son going out to the mailbox. No son pulling in or out of the garage (which is right next to mine.) No son walking up to the clubhouse or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air. In short…no son at all.

Now, maybe he’s just elusive. Or, he could just be very, very short and thin and almost transparent. Then there’s always the vampire thing…with him not coming out in the daylight. Or maybe the son possesses a Cloak of Invisibility like Harry Potter’s and has been coming and going like crazy. Those things work, you know!

Or maybe, just maybe…there is no son.

Think about it. Could it be that nice Mr. Fed Ex man has a split personality? Maybe he comes home at 2:00, looking like a friendly cub scout leader in his little Fed Ex shorts and then, the minute he’s in the house, his other personality takes over!!! Maybe then he changes into jeans and a black Metallica t-shirt, goes down to the basement and loses himself in some wizardy video game, believing he is a 23 year old! At some point he falls asleep and then, when the alarm rings at 2:00 a.m., he wakes up, Mr. Smiley Face again, having no idea that his “23 year old son” is, in reality, himself!!! Oh, come on! It could happen! You people have no imagination!

But, if you don’t buy into that theory, which I do think is an excellent one, that only leaves me with my other idea – The Psycho theory. Yes, he lives there with his 23 year old son, or rather, the dessicated corpse of his son which he has kept with him for 23 years. And, even as I’m writing his, that son-corpse is sitting propped up in a chair in the guest room of the house next door! M-WAAAAAAH!!!!

Okay, I didn’t want to go there, but you guys made me! So, what do YOU think is going on ?