Millstone Memorial

Mendham clergy sex abuse memorial rededicated in show of support

MENDHAM ‑ Bill Crane recalled how he felt when he got the phone call at his Oregon home last November that someone had shattered the memorial to clergy sexual abuse survivors at St. Joseph Church.

“It was exactly how I felt,” said Crane, 46, who lived in Mendham when as a child, he was sexually assaulted by former parish priest, James Hanley. “Shattered.”
The 400-pound black basalt monument was replaced at its original spot next to the West Main Street church at a public ceremony on Saturday.

Church bells rang while a bagpiper played “Amazing Grace” to an audience of about 70 people. They included Crane and survivors and family members of survivors of Hanley who, during his tenure as pastor ofSt. Joseph’s from 1972 to 1982, sexually abused more than a dozen boys in the church rectory
Monsignor Kenneth Lasch, a retiredSt. Joseph Church priest who has championed the rights of sexual abuse victims was there. So was Monsignor Joseph T. Anginoli, the current pastor who supervised the restoration with Crane.
Also in the audience was Sen. Joseph Vitale, D-Middlesex, a leading advocate for victims of child sexual abuse.
The memorial is comprised of a foot-thick millstone flanked by two children. The millstone is in reference to Jesus who said in Matthew 18; 5-6 “And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”
The inscription beneath the millstone reads: “This millstone is dedicated to the victims of sexual abuse at St. Joseph’s and everywhere as a tribute to their survival, a mark of our deep respect and as a symbol of our commitment to their healing.
“Jesus said: Come to me all you who labor and are heavily burdened and I will refresh you. Matthew 11:20.”
Gordon Ellis, 37, of Mendham, has been charged with taking a sledgehammer to the memorial on Friday, Nov. 18, and is awaiting action by a Morris Count grand jury.
It was Crane ‘s idea to erect the nation’s first memorial in 2004 to clergy sexual abuse victims and in particular to the memory of a friend, James Kelly, who had committed suicide in 2003, apparently tormented by his own experiences as a child victim of Hanley’s. Crane left Mendham in 1984 when he joined the Navy but he has remained heavily involved in the effort to stop clergy sexual abuse and support victims.
He arrived in Mendham last week to help prepare the site and to arrange the memorial. He said that he sees the situation in a positive way in that it quickly brought about a wave of support for the abuse victims.
“This memorial sends a message of protection and how precious the children are,” Crane said. “It’s all the high road, it’s love, understanding and support. What has taken place is a beautiful thing.”
Crane also said he had no anger for Ellis, only compassion.
“Nothing ill-willed ever crossed my mind,” Crane said. “I thought there must be something really troubling him (Ellis).”
Crane was just one of the victims of Hanley, who was defrocked in 2003 but never prosecuted for his crimes because the statute of limitations had lapsed.
When he got the call about the destruction, Crane and his wife, Valerie Jane, were on the Oregon coast, celebrating their 24th wedding anniversary. The couple has a daughter, Jessica and a son, Sean.
Crane said his first thought was that the destruction was somehow related to the revelations of sexual abuse by a football coach at Penn State University and the subsequent cover-up. However, it remains unclear why Ellis apparently targeted the memorial.
The attack and subsequent effort to replace the memorial reminded Crane of the misplaced feelings of guilt by victims.
“It’s an ugly, shameful topic but the only people who should feel ashamed are those who perpetrate the abuse on children,” Crane said.
Lasch said on Friday that victims should be remembered and be heard.
“People have to hear their story and support them in the healing process,” Lasch said. “Recovery from abuse is a life sentence and a long journey. The monument is a symbol for the hurt they have experienced and the hope they have to progress to healing.”
Lasch’s work as an advocate and supporter has led to his own depression about the years he was bullied as a youth.
“The internal process of restoring self-esteem is a long, long process,” Lasch said. “I understand how difficult it is to deal with trauma.”
Lasch visited the memorial site on Friday and said it quickly brought back the painful emotions he felt while counseling victims.
A week after the destruction of the memorial, Crane received a call from Gregory Gianforcaro, a lawyer from Phillipsburg who has handled numerous civil cases filed by victims of clergy sexual abuse. The lawyer said the bishop of the Paterson diocese had asked that Crane head up the effort to replace the memorial.
Crane soon contacted Jason Jones, an Oregon sculptor, who agreed to recast the monument. The funds came from donations and from the diocese. The 400-pound artifact arrived by truck on Wednesday from Oregon. An unexpected snow storm in western Pennsylvania almost delayed the delivery until Friday.
Crane and a friend, Robert Freeman of Chester Township, owner of Green Pride Landscaping, worked since Wednesday to prepare the landscaping around the memorial.
Crane has tried to come to grips with his past and said he probably could not have done it without the support of his wife and the love of his family.
“To be brought out of depression, out of the fog, to be with family and for that special joy, I am so thankful,” Crane said.
He said his focus still remains on the many victims who still live in the shadows of self-loathing.
“The most important thing is the faceless survivor out there,” Crane said. “It still remains so brutally tough to come forward.”
At Saturday’s ceremony, Crane gave out 25 miniature mill stones that he made out of the same Columbia River black basalt that were left over from the new memorial. Each is on a stand with a plaque and the quotations from Matthew.
Among those at the dedication of the new memorial was Patricia Serrano, whose son, Mark, helped trigger national outrage over his revelations that he was sexually abused by Hanley. Mark Serrano could not attend the ceremony.
Mrs. Serrano founded Helping Ours Sons to Heal (HOST), the first survivor support group at St. Joseph’s.
“These men who were 9-year-old boys when they were abused still live with the pain,” Serrano said.
She quoted her son’s comments at the time of the dedication of the original memorial.
“This was once a hunting place for young boys,” Mark Serrano had said. “It became a healing place and now it’s a hallowed place with the memorial.”