It's that coveted day of the year -- when boys and girls become men and women, chefs become better chefs, and all of the media will immediately start debating who deserved a James Beard nomination and who didn't. Get excited!

Mom is finally selling houses! Problem is she isn’t licensed. No big whoop for her, the test will be a breeze! Except she freaks when she meets Kim, a mega realtor who’s sold 358 houses and is getting recertified. She walks out of the test, assuaging her failure with a Chipwitch. Mmmm…now that’s something I can get behind: Chipwitch and a mostly Mom-centric episode.

In an interview with Zagat, Duff Goldman of Ace of Cakes talks about the important things in life: how to get people to decorate their own cakes while giving his business Cakemix money, smack-talking the “richness” of Serendipity’s uber-expensive “Golden Opulence” sundae, and — hilariously and GIF-ably — wondering how one could possibly profit off breast milk lollipops.

“Here’s the thing: where are you getting this milk?” he asks, before proceeding to demonstrate what he means.

First off, breast milk lollipops don’t actually have breast milk in them. They’re pretty much entirely sugar, which leads us to our second point: please stop making that motion. Our mammaries actually kind of hurt in a physical way after seeing this. You know how men feel a sympathetic jolt of pain whenever they see another man get hit in the testes? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. We’re rhythmically cringing with every udder-yanking motion you make. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

The rest of the (thankfully) non-painful interview can be found below.