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Well, I missed last week. So much for perfect blog attendance. LOL! Flu and my first full week of 13 credits took me out. Wait, I hadn’t told you or anyone for that matter. I am back in school after a little more than a decade. Feeling a little crazy and haven’t got my schedule worked out quite right yet. Trying to fit in workouts are proving to be a bit difficult. Not to mention the stress has me reaching for more carbs than I care to admit.

My weight has held steady though. That’s one small blessing.

Drawing a bit of a blank here. I did do better this past week than the last. 3 workouts rather than 1. I must just keeping improving. More workouts and better eating. Plus SLEEP!. Must sleep!

I am hoping to hit a stride soon and not feel so chaotic.

Hopefully you all are doing better with your goals and the flu has steered clear of your house.

I have indulged a little more than I would have hoped I would. I am getting about 3 workouts a week, again not what I had planned, but I shan’t complain as that appears to be better than some. (No Judgement Ladies! Believe me, I know life gets in the way!) I plan to have hubby drop me off at the gym while he goes and does his annual waited-until-the-last-minute-and-must-go-shopping-now event.

The first years we were married he would try and pretend that he wasn’t shopping for me on Christmas Eve. ‘I’ve just got to get some wrapping paper.” “I ran out of ribbon.” “I hid your presents at a friend’s house and have to go get them.” It wasn’t long before I learned the “friend” was named The Mall. LOL! He doesn’t try to hide it now.

When we were engaged he tried to convince me that we should get married on Christmas. One day for him to remember, Christmas, anniversary, and my birthday all in one shot. (Yes, my b-day is on Christmas hence the name “Kris” as in Kringle. I was suppose to be a boy.) I have to remind him now how much more in trouble he would be trying to shop for 3 important dates at the last minute. He still thinks it would have been an awesome idea. Men!

This year I will begin my birthday with a workout! That’s my plan. I would prefer it be sleeping in but as I have preschoolers, the excitement will not keep them in bed. Hubs will not be home from working the ER until afternoon, there will be no opening of presents until then. Since I will be up, I might as well start a new year of life off right.

I hope you all remember the reason for the Season and spend some wonderful time with loved ones!

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Ever have one of those days where there just isn’t enough time in the day? Or weeks? Or decades?

Yeah.

Last Saturday was my “free” day. Didn’t have any sporting events, church activities, parties or meetings planned. Usually my hubs is home on Saturdays but he was working so it was just me and the kids. I was free to sleep in…

Does that say 7:29 am and is Little Man ever going to sleep in…ever?!

I was free to tackle the laundry

Don’t judge me. It’s almost finished….YES, it’s 4 days later, but no one will agree to my idea of one outift per month.

I was even free to weigh in. It wasn’t my “normal” weigh in day and I didn’t stick to my routine, but I braved it and got on the scale anyway.

I don’t know what is more disturbing: my weight or my toenails.

I didn’t want to share this picture, because it requires a difficult admission: When I don’t workout and I eat whatever I want I gain weight. No that isn’t earth shattering news, but it is still hard. The deeper difficulty is that all of the weeks of hard work were only helping me to maintain my weight. I need to make some real and new changes.

Tomorrow is The Feast. Thanksgiving. Perfect time to make change? Ummm…

Well, I have a two step plan for all of us which applies to both the Thanksgiving feast and the insanity that is Black Friday shopping.

Step 1: Have a plan

Thanksgiving: If you know cousin Sandra, is bringing her sticky buns for dessert and you won’t be able to resist then maybe you should skip the dinner roll, drink water/skip the beverages full of empty calories, and load up on veggies.

Black Friday: Know where the deals/door busters are that YOU want. Do not wander aimlessly.

Step 2: Stick to your budget

Thanksgiving: It is perfectly acceptable to calorie count (if that is your thing), to politely pass on Aunt Molly’s weird gelatin “salad”, and to save some of your favorites for later to keep yourself from gorging.

Black Friday: Do NOT spend more money than you have. Cute little Riley will be just as happy with the cheaper option as she will with the one that will contribute to the breaking of the bank. If you can, stick to cash. You will thank me in January.

If you want to know how the weekend is going you can follow me on Twitter! Yep, I took the plunge. My handle is @scalemattersABC. Hopefully, this should get me through the weekend and give me time to regroup/come up with a real plan for the rest of the holiday season.

I’m tired but I knew I had to write something since last week I was so busy (for reals, no exaggeration) that I never had any time in front of my computer and totally neglected to write a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.

Last weekend I decided that if I’d lost significant weight this week I was going to refer to my secret as the Banana Bread & Boogers diet (intriguing and gross at the same time = best seller). Last Saturday morning we had some bananas that needed to be baked into bread or thrown away. Who would waste 3 perfectly good (brown) bananas?!

Not me!

When the yummy bread was warm from the oven it was all I felt like eating…probably ate half a loaf all by myself that day. The same day I came down with a cold so nasty that not only was I not interested in food, but I had no interest in much of anything that didn’t involve laying down or wiping my nose. I blew my nose so much over the course of this cold that my ribs were sore from all the extra exercise they were getting.

Alas, the Banana Bread & Boogers diet was a sad disappointment. My weight this week is in the same 3 pound range I haven’t been able to escape in months (you’ll have to take my word for it because I haven’t mastered my new phone enough to easily move photos to my computer).

With that (unsurprising) disappointment I’ve decided to try something different this week. My cousin recommended this new thing, another friend refered me to an authority I trust on the topic, and after a tiny bit of research I decided I would try it. I’ll tell you all about “it” next Friday after we see how/if this new thing helps me.

In the meantime, I’ve got to get back on my game. My class started last week and I’ve only worked out twice since! This week I’m going to the gym twice and to Mandy’s free cross training class (we just call it “the workout”) at the church on Friday. In my Perfect Wife & Mother fantasy I will have (in my new phone) my week scheduled, budget squared, and my healthy menu planned. Def totes.

Wish me luck.

P.S. Does anyone tweet? Thinking of opening a Twitter account so I can share/complain/inspire/fail in 140 characters of less on a regular basis. What do you think?

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It seems everyone has gone MIA, including our fearless leader/founder and my posts have been pathetic.

While a dear friend reassured me that this blog is about real life and real life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns, I have been a “Debbie Downer.” Yes, there is some heavy stuff going on in my life, I don’t have to let it drag me down into the pits of despair and undo all I have worked hard to do.

I have been trying to maintain my goals, but it definitely isn’t easy as distractions abound and I am just plain worn out.

Time to refocus, because being healthy will allow me to deal with things better. At least that is the plan.

I have gained 2 pounds but I am chalking that up to “that” week and not getting to the gym more than twice. Considering some would say that the 7 pound loss last week was too much in that time period, I am not too upset.

Going forward, starting now, refocused goals

5 1/2 weeks to the Turkey Trot- A 30min 5k would be awesome!

Sleep- Must get some! Not starting out too well considering that it is 1:18am. Must do better!

Food- I haven’t done badly here, but there is always room for improvement!

The wedding was being held at “THE” place to have your wedding in the area. (If you have the money.) It was a big deal to me so my anxiety level was through the roof.

Couple that with dealing with side effects from a new medication and it has not been a fun time. I had an appointment with the sleep clinic before last post. I scored worse on my tests showing I am even more tired and not adjusting well with the CPAP. I just have to keep going with the mask torture at night, but they put me on a medication to “wake” me up during the day. I was assured it is not addicting and not speed. Apparently our troops “pop them like candy on patrol,” said the doc. Hubby was with me and thought it was a good idea. He also liked that it has a mild antidepressant in it.

I was not thrilled with the idea of being medicated all day 24/7. A pill to make me sleep, a pill to keep me awake and alert. I became even less thrilled when nearly every side effect on the list became my friend. Doc told me at the appointment that he’s really only seen patients with headaches from it.

I feel wired. My hands shake. I’m jittery. Headaches, stomach pains, dizziness, nausea, and trouble sleeping. I also have no appetite and I mean none. I could go all day and not even think about food. I have to force myself to eat, because you do need fuel, but I have a very hard time getting through half of the serving. It has been just over a week and it’s only mildly getting better. But, I am definitely not falling asleep behind the wheel and I am staying on top of things at home. I should go visit AB and take care of her laundry for her ;-P

I think if I were used to caffeine it might be different. I hate coffee, do not drink pop, and only have raspberry tea a few times a year. It’s my special occasion drink.

I have gotten in some kind of a workout everyday except one because of the above but I probably still could have done it that day too.

I don’t know where my weight really is right now. At the dr appointment I was up 5 lbs from when I saw him 6 weeks ago, up 8 pounds from where I weighed in at 2 1/2 weeks ago for my weight loss challenge, and on my home scale now I am down 13 pounds from the dr visit last week. Obviously none of our scales match. I think I will just weigh in this week on the Kaiser scale for the challenge and go from there. All I know is my pants need belts.

Wish me luck. I must go swimsuit shopping this week before our trip. Oh the horror!!!!!

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First, I would like to thank Autumn, my fellow blogger, for her encouragement. I had been frustrated for so long that I figured something had to be wrong with me. Finally I know what it is, but it seems lame. I mean really. Who doesn’t have sleep issues when they have kids. I know the effects Apnea has on the body, but not many people understand. It sounds like a cop-out, so outside of cyberspace, I do not talk about it. It also makes it easier at 2am when the mask is bugging me to take it off. It’s just sleep. Lots of people are tired. (Never mind the fact that I stop breathing in my sleep and my hubby tells me he is glad he never woke up to a blue wife laying next to him.) It was a wake up call to have someone who understands remind me why it is important to keep trying. I have had more determination to wear the CPAP mask all night. Thank you Autumn!

I feel a little guilty posting results this week since it seems like a down week for my fellow weight warriors. We must remember though that we will not win every battle. Do not let it stop you from fighting the war. I hope we can be there for each other and celebrate the victories and encourage through the defeats.

Enough sappiness….

You may have noticed I hadn’t posted a weight loss/gain the past couple weeks. That’s because I hadn’t weighed in. I have been so sick of having a gain or just a maintain that I just didn’t want to step on that scale. I was done with having disappointments to write about. I started out the week with 2 co-workers asking if I had lost weight. They could see it in my face. ( I am usually behind a high desk when they see me.) Boost to my confidence #1. I ordered a new sports bras that finally arrived off of back order. I have to send it back for a smaller band and cup size. Much to the chagrin of DH! Confidence boost #2. Wednesday I was feeling lucky, sort of, and did my official weigh-in. I nearly squealed when I saw the 5 pound loss! It had to sink in and wasn’t quite believed until I saw the email confirmation. Five more pounds and I am out of the 230’s.

That is my goal. Small bites. I need to try to focus on small increments. I get focused on the big goals, like the 20 lbs before the June 3rd wedding, and get upset as the time shortens and the attainability of that goal seems too hard. Then it becomes easier to throw in the towel. Five pounds is not towel worthy. It can be done. I can do it. You can do it!

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First, I have a question for the runners out there. About a month ago I got new running shoes, Asics, and the salesgal put me in a 1/2 size larger than what I have been in. Now before this I was working in a pair of Nikes. When I ran I felt my toes hitting the end of the shoes. I hadn’t worn them since getting the new shoes. When running around I have just been throwing on an old broken in (literally my toes poke out of holes in the ends) Saucony tennies. All of that to get to this, I didn’t get to the gym much this week and was working out at home and wanted to save my running shoes for running. I put on the Nikes and just stood up and found my feet were uncomfortably squished. Like my feet had elongated, or my toes at least. Is this normal? Maybe the running is stretching out my feet? Any ideas would be great? It was just weird.

I hate my CPAP! I hate my CPAP! Have I told you I hate my CPAP?

It’s interesting AB brought up doing drastic things in her Friday post. I had been thinking all week how much determination it has been taking me to put that mask on every night.

The one on the right is supposed to be the most comfortable. They both look medieval if you ask me. It has been just over a month and I am still not use to them. The sleep meds help to make it a large portion through the night and occasionally I do feel like I have gotten some rest, but I hate them! I see the doctor in a couple of weeks, maybe something will get better. It is supposed to make a huge difference so I will keep it up. Drastic indeed! (at least for me)

I would bathe in sugar-water and sit outside at dusk everyday!

It’s a new week. Time to forget about what I didn’t get done last week and to make goals for what I want to get done this week. And DO IT!

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I’m taking a class called physiological psychology. I know…why don’t I challenge myself more. Ha! We just finished a chapter with a section called, “Hunger: Regulation of the Body’s Nutrients”. If I wanted to bore you I’d give you all the details about insulin and glucagon and fat and about the lateral hypothalamus plays a role in getting you to start eating or how a neurochemical called, CART, plays a role in getting you to feel full and stop eating…

…but really, would that help us in our quest to lose weight? Maybe.

Apparently, there is a group of scientists who believe that obesity should be classified as a brain disorder. Pros: insurance might pay for counseling and other treatments to help obese people lose weight. Cons: If you’re fat, you’re crazy.

One intersting fact that affected me personally from this chapter is the BMI scale. Since I’ve lost some weight I have downgraded from being “morbidly obese” to only being “obese”. I’ll take it as good news!

Everything else I’m learning in this class just backs up all the info we hear all the time: get a good night’s sleep, less calories in, more calories out, don’t starve yourself or puke up what you just ate, drink water, blah, blah, blah….

Only it isn’t “blah”. It’s scientific fact. Dang it.

Someone told me yesterday that I was brave for posting my weight (which is exactly the same today as it was 2 weeks ago, by the way). I told them I wasn’t brave. I had to. HAD TO. I cannot be accountable to myself. I lie to myself all the time (“This cookie won’t count”). The scale doesn’t lie and I am better at telling the truth to other people.

I’ve been discussing with my hubs (oh, yes, thank you, we had a lovely anniversary weekend in San Diego) that I’m at a set point (another scientific term from physio psych class) and I need to do something drastic to get passed it. My goal for this week is to make an appointment with my doc and ask for a referal to a nutrionist.

Drastic.

Clearly, what I have been doing isn’t getting the weight off, so I am looking for outside help. I’m probably going to have to start counting carbs or calories or some other annoying thing, but counting is not nearly as annoying as being fat. I want to feel better in my bathing suit this summer. I’m going to be spending a whole week camping at the beach!

SO! What drastic measures are you willing to take (or have you taken) to overcome your issues, friends?

I am doing much better today. I got worse before getting better. I worked out Monday because even though the cough was increasing in my mind it was still a sickness from the neck up. Boy, did I pay for it though. The world wouldn’t stop spinning and I came home and just collapsed. I avoided the gym the rest of the week. My energy came in spurts anyway and used it to try to keep some semblance of order around the house rather than exercising.

I met with the sleep specialty doctor this past week and learned some interesting things and got some answers to my weight loss problems. My doctor has spent most of his medical career studying sleep and is the authority many doctors go by. He diagnosed me with apnea coupled with insomnia. I go in for another sleep study this week with the CPAP machine to find the right level of oxygen for me. I learned that when you are suffering from apnea you have very little to no metabolism. You do not burn calories no matter what you do. If you have read my posts you know how frustrated I have been for over a year. How I couldn’t understand how I can train for a 5k and keep calories down and not see any progress. Or very little. It seems I have a predisposition for apnea and just need a trigger to set it off. At the moment I am caught in a cause and effect loop. Apnea raises your weight, weight increase aggravates apnea, which raises your weight and so on and so on. We were able to correlate my weight ups and downs in the past 10 years with the times in my life I can say I was sleeping better or worse. As I have gotten older, it has gotten harder to self regulate. My doctor is very confident that once I start on the treatment I will see the weight, assuming I keep doing what I am doing, will start to come off. Once I get down 20+ pounds, he thinks the apnea will resolve and I won’t need the oxygen at night. Then barring another trigger, probably won’t need treatment again. Although I have been told that most people don’t want to stop due to how well and energized they feel in the morning.

I know it isn’t a “miracle drug” weight loss, but the idea that my hard work will start to pay off and more energy to boot, Yes, Please!

I didn’t make it to my official weigh in on Friday. The doctor’s scale said I maintained last week and my home scale said I gained. (It is never the same as the “official” scale at Kaiser) So I really do not know where I stand.

I will be at the gym in the morning. How about you?

“In time of difficulties, we must not lose sight of our achievements.” Mao Tse-Tung