9 things every student house argues about

Ask practically anyone to list the advantages of university and the 'university experience’ will be mentioned. We all have our own definition of what that means – but student homes are a good common ground. The bricks and mortar we bounce around in during our degree years are one thing (I still think with a sentimental fondness of the crumbling terraces I was obliged to call home) but, as ever, people are the thing.

For every person regaling tales of utter hilarity with their flatmate, there’s another complaining about the psychopath who everyone heard living in the loft, but no-one ever saw. And while the house nights out may blur into one drunken, time hopping memory, the blazing rows and bitter resentments will maintain a crystal clarity in years to come. Which makes sense – because we all have the exact same arguments. After all, ‘living by your own rules’ seems wonderful, until you realise that everyone plans on doing that, and everyone has their own rules. Death stares at the ready...

1. Heating

...because some people prefer hypothermia to paying bills, and others aren't happy until they're flat out broke and can prance around the lounge in swimwear.

2. Drunkenly coming home

Gently... gently... *crash*.

If you've got an exam the next day or have to be up for a 9am lecture, you can almost guarantee that someone will stumble in the dead of night wearing dustbin lids for shoes.

3. Missing food

At some point, one housemate is going to start bandying accusations of thievery and devious skull-duggery. He or she will be worked up into a frothing rage, unable to be placated, while the guilty party does their best to evaporate. That, or after the screaming match, someone will quietly remind the Incredible Hulk of their drunken midnight feast a few nights ago. Oops.

4. The boy/girlfriend situation

…which is really just started because everyone is fed up of hearing them bang. But seriously - will they ever leave? Don't they have their own place? And are they going to pay rent? And what about the bills? Speaking of which...

5. Bills

...because there'll always be that one pedant who insists on working everything out to the very last penny, and there'll be another who doesn't want to pay for the hot water ('I only take cold showers, I swear...') and someone else who insists they've already paid their share of the council tax.

Or, worse, one person has all the bills coming out of their account but nobody transfers their share across on time, so late payment fees start stacking up. Either that or one day the house, creaking under the weight of those red final warnings, finally gets cut off from the grid.

More than anything, bills cause friction. That's money for ya. One solution we've found is DividaBill,who can cover all your household bills for £9.99 a week and split it automatically between housemates - et voila, no stress and everything taken care of. It's a good shout for anyone who doesn't want the hassle and unpredictability of ever changing bills (that first winter bill is a horrible surprise...)

6. Health hazards in the kitchen

Weren't those plates white at the start of term?

7. Bathroom queues

Your landlord has wisely (ahem) decided to squeeze six bedrooms where there's space for three and thought one bathroom would be enough. This was never going to end well.

8. What to watch on TV

In a world of tablets, phones and laptops, the humble television shouldn't be the cause of so much discord. But once the arguments over who gets what seat on the sofa are over, which program goes on is a source of vicious tension. Boys are the worst. After all, as Jerry Seinfeld said, "Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."

9. Where to live next year

'...so, guys... I was wondering what we were planning to do next year...do we all want to keep living together?'

The Boring Bit

SMS wants to help you live the life you want on the budget you're stuck with but we aren't the Economic Bible, so please don't take our word as gospel as we can't accept any liability if our tips aren't right for you – everyone's different, after all.

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