Scorpio is just another word for Hero

I have this theory that all Romance Novel Heroes (RNHo, from now on) are born under the astrological sign of Scorpio. Okay. Maybe not all of them, but a really, large majority for sure are Scorpios.

I'm a bit of a Scorpio expert. I attract them, them and Leos. I don't know why this is so, but most of the people in my life-‘guys and gals-‘generally fall into one of those two astrological signs. For instance, three of my best girlfriends are all born on August 13 in consecutive years. That would make them Leos for those of you who don't do the whole astrology thing. That's not the point. The point is that I can spot a Scorpio from 50 feet away in a blizzard. That's how good I am. I'm not an astrologer, mind you. I'm just a Scorpio expert.

There's a lot of false information running around about Scorpios. Most people who know anything about astrology are kind of scared of Scorpios. Most people who know nothing about astrology think that Scorpios are like Lord Byron. But Lord Byron wasn't a Scorpio (he was a Sagittarius), nor did he behave like one. The Romantic poet you are looking for as a model of Scorpionic behavior is Keats (jealous, possessive, and obsessed with death). I am going to clear up some common misconceptions about Scorpios and in the process prove to y'all that all RNHo's are, in fact, Scorpios.

Scorpios encompass people born between October 23 and November 22. It is a fixed, water sign. Water signs are feminine, but Scorpio is ruled both by Mars and Pluto. Yay! Which is a short-hand way saying they are ruled by war and death, but since they are in a feminine-ruled water sign, it is war and death, but only on the inside. Double yay!

I'm really only talking about male Scorpios here. Female Scorpios are bit different. One of my favorite astrology books is Sextrology by Starsky & Cox. Starksy and Cox posit that your gender matters in the way that your sun sign manifests itself. You can believe this or not, but as a long time devourer of all things occult (I wanted to be a witch as a child and have lightning bolts shoot out of my fingertips ala Bavmorda in Willow. Alas, apparently this is not possible), I can definitely tell you that this book is one of the best I've ever read on astrology. It is very detailed and quite different from so many other books, which read as if they were intended for kindergarteners. But to the point.

In the first place, Scorpios are not naturally inclined towards being hedonists or man-whores. They become them in response to bad childhoods and innate paranoia. That isn't to say they don't behave this way. They do, but they aren't enjoying themselves that much. This is because they are pessimistic to the point of being nihilistic. Cue the raging, cynicism of the RNHo whose distrust in humanity borders on a psychosis. Engaging in hedonism is the Scorpios way of both satisfying their enormous libido and their intense interest in the great mysteries of humanity; sex, death and God. And no, John Donne was not a Scorpio. He was an Aquarius. I know. I can't believe it either.

Even if Scorpios really aren't having it on with anything and everything, they want you to think they are. See, what Scorpios actually get up to is far less important that the fact that they appear to be bad asses. Sound familiar? Scorpios are the authors of their own bad reputations. They will lead you to believe they spent the weekend in some 48 hour orgy, when in reality they probably spent it watching a Law & Order: SVU marathon on TNT. They want you to think the worst of them. This is on account of the fact that they are actually quite sensitive, and their poor little feelings get hurted, ever so easily. Although, any self-respecting (and they all respect themselves, most fiercely) would rather die a thousand deaths than ever let on you have hurt their feelings. In fact, registering emotions or even facial expressions is the number one sin for any Scorpio. If his eye twitches, you probably dealt him a mortal wound. If he reacts violently, you probably just annihilated his very soul. You win!

In addition to being super-sensitive, Scorpios are also rabidly private and secretive. About nothing important, I might add. Banal, everyday questions are treated with the suspicion and paranoia of a CIA operative working in East Berlin during the Cold War. "What time is it?" you'll ask your Scorpio, innocently. "Why do you want to know?" he will reply. This is the beginning of a conversation I once actually had. It was like going down the rabbit hole, only to discover a world like True Blood if it had been directed by Stanley Kubrick and written by Vladimir Nabokov, and just as confusing.

If you can't tell already, all of these are characteristics of the RNHo. The RNHo is, too, also quite sensitive, underneath his rakish exterior as well as intensely private. Often, his bad reputation is an over-exaggeration that he allows to stand because he doesn't care enough to correct it or even likes the bad reputation because, in the words of Starsky and Cox:

The "loner" routine, Scorpio learns, really works for him, especially attracting women who suspect him of being "hurt" or "deep," both typically correct assumptions. (Sextrology 337)

Ha! Or you know, he's a spy or out for vengeance or something like that. Which brings me to another really important point: Scorpios are vindictive. Those sensitive feelings they have? Well, don't hurt them, because they will revenge themselves upon you, if only in their own minds. But still, you don't want that. Scorpios are all about the vendetta. They probably invented it. If you are their main-squeeze, they'll probably try to take it out on you sexually. Doesn't that sound like a plot of some book somewhere? I swear I've read that one before. "Her father killed my father (brother, dog, college roommate's second cousin's postman)! I shall ruin her! I shall ruin her so hard, her eyes roll back into her head and she'll scream my name for years to come! As she comes! Ahahahahahhahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha."

"Ha."

They are also rather possessive. Umm, do I even have to connect that one for you guys? Okay, I will anyway. Both the vengeance thing and the possessive thing explain why all Old Skool Heroes think kidnapping the daughter/niece/former-secretary of their nemesis will be a peachy keen idea. Scorpio To Do List: possession? Check. Vendetta? Check. Two birds with one stone? Check.

Scorpios, all of "em, are the reigning King o' the Mind Game. Although sometimes I suspect they have no idea they are playing them. This is because they are under the massive delusion that they're emotional landscape is obvious to everyone. They actually believe . . . try not to laugh . . . that they wear their hearts on their sleeves. Bwahahahahhaha! Okay. But of course, their emotions are not all obvious to anyone ever. Even we readers sometimes get confused on that one. "Wait! Hang on! He loved her this whole time?! Even when he stole her pet chipmunk, Mr. Fribbles, and sold him to the travelling circus? Or when he tore those letters, the last things she had from her mother?! Even then? Noooooooooooo. Baaaaaaaahhhh! This book makes no sense!" Yeah, welcome to Scorpio Island. Population? Every duke, rake, secret covert black ops guy with an eye-patch (or possibly a soul patch?); every second son that just inherited the title, every bastard born on the wrong side of the blanket; they're all here, controlling their very intense emotions. But the schools are excellent and there's a really awesome Thai restaurant just down the street.

In addition to controlling their already controlled, yet intense, emotions, Scorpios will drop Easter Eggs of Doom and Dysfunction into the middle of a totally normal conversation without warning! This is also common of the RNHo, who is often manipulative and yet, who only gives out important information about himself at really inconvenient moments. This is because Scorpios are loners and under the delusion that they are damned. This, too, is like the RNHo, who is always under that impression that: all women are whores, because Mommy Dearest was one. He can never love or be loved, because his evil uncle sexually abused him or his dog hated him or his dad sent him to school (the bastard!). Take your pick. Scorpios think they are damaged goods, and they and the RNHo, will invariably have some sort of mental break-down, alone, in the library, in which a crystal decanter of claret gets thrown against the fireplace because who could ever love a Beast?

Scorpios both look and act like penises. This is part of the reason why they get the reputation for being man-whores, even when they might be virgins.

. . . his serpent is generally thick, mighty long, and heavily veined [ . . . ] And his signature smooth-talking snakiness, along with a whispering hiss of a voice, match his reptilian good looks, all of which seem designed for one purpose-‘seduction (Sextrology 339)

But like I said, they really love that bad reputation:

Being "a bad seed," he finds, has its perks, as it piques the curiosity of women who expect nothing more from him than sex, providing him with no-strings release while he continues to search for his own innocent and unsuspecting Kore [Peresphone] [ . . . ] So totally hands-off is he with these temporary sexual partners that he mightn't do more than unzip and be serviced, say, orally, otherwise remaining utterly composed if not completely dressed (Sextrology 341).

People, that just described the opening scene of Suzanne Enoch's Sin and Sensibility. It also describes the sexual past of every rake hero that every polluted the pages of a paperback novel.

But like I said, Scorpios aren't really man-whores because they are looking for The One, even when they aren't. This is why they work so well as RNHo's. They are eminently reformable, but only with the right gal.

. . . he'll fall for someone who can thus disarm him, an honest beauty who refuses to dignify anything beastly in his nature. Such a display of salt-of-the-earth character is what melts Scorpio's cold, cold heart and is far more a factor in affecting his loving interest than is any excess of female pulchritude. (Sextrology 339)

What Starksy and Cox mean is that hotness ranks lower than the ability to tame his beast, or make him feel less damned or lonely or you know, whatever the RNHo thinks his freakin' problem is.

But where Scorpios are really like RNHo's? The bedroom, of course! Check this out:

Scorpio takes total control of the proceedings, fucking with his partner's mind from the outset; building her expectation, he sets a mood of anticipation that sends her wriggling in excitement and frustration. He loves for his mate to lie perfectly still while ever so slowly caresses and kisses her, not allowing her to take his own pressing matters into her hands. He may even remain dressed [. . . ] (Sextrology 344)

And let's not forget that favorite RNHo pastime: using his dick to get the heroine to admit she loves him . . . no really! It's not just the sex!

Egging his partner on, the Serpent hopes to force a declaration of her urgent desire. (Sextrology 345).

Oh Scorpio! You adorable scoundrel, you!

And if still don't believe me that all RNHo's are, indeed, Scorpios. Then check out this final selection from Sextrology, "STR8 TURN-ONS" a list which includes, among other things: "innocence; (dominant) s+m; (dominant) b+d; teasing, tickling, torture; probing, fingering; maids, secretaries" (emphasis mine, 345).

Holy Mary! Maids and secretaries?! Innocence?!

I rest my case.

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Lazaraspaste came to the romance genre at the belated age of twenty-six. While she prefers historicals, she's really up for anything . . . much like her view of food! Some of her favorite authors include Jo Beverley, Anne Stuart, Lisa Kleypas and Joan Smith. Once a YA librarian, she is now working towards an advanced degree in literature with the mad idea of becoming a critic and teacher. Though she loves romance, fantasy has always been her first love. She hates never-ending series and believes the ending is the most important part.

You forgot one thing, also a hero quality: once you win them over, a Scorpio is incredibly loyal and generous. Unless,of course, you do something to betray them (real or in their own mind) and then you are dead to them. Dead.

I’m a Scorpio (female, lest my little pic not show up and convince you), and I’m embarrassed (and, of course, slightly proud) to say that a great deal of this applies to women, as well. I should read the book to see just how much of my jealous, vindictive, and generally devious nature I can blame on my birthday. Surely I can lay my late teens at its feet?

I attract them and am attracted to them, and they are EVIL incarnate. I can walk into a room, pick out the one guy I think is hot, and know within minutes that he’s a Scorpio who’s ready to treat me badly and leave me prepared to ask for a second helping. I learned to swear off them by 22 (Virgos also need not apply). Somewhere there are women who can deal with their sting and not die from it, but this Aries is not amongst their ranks.

Oh this just made my morning! Too funny. This is so spot on. I’m a Scorpio gal myself and I’m afraid some of those points apply to females too.

I made the mistake of having a Scorpio boyfriend ONCE. Scorpio/Scorpio… not a good idea! Hot, hot, but not a good idea… LOL! Libras and Cancers do it for me. Your take on Scorpio males is right on the money. :D

Hi, Stella Starsky here, one of the authors of “Sextrology” by Starsky + Cox, the book you reference is this charming article. Indeed, Scorpio men (and Virgo men, too) are so utterly misunderstood. We’re proud to have cracked the code on this guy—’bout time. Best to you…

Heh, this is funny. I was with a Scorpio for 4 years. Deep, intense, everything is life or death. For sure he was the most Alpha of the men I’ve ever been with. Also the most sexual. The guy oozed sex. He also oozed it to other women. snort. Although I know he didn’t physically ooze it until just after we split up. But I had to fight off women all the time. Was too exhausting.

This post is freaking brilliant and totally funny. Especially considering that I consciously wrote one of my heroes as a Scorpio. He wore it well though because he was medieval – both literally and figuratively. Scorpios do medieval well.

As an Aquarious female (ultra ultra aquarious: I got that shit in like nine houses), I can’t stand Scorpio men. The drama is well..melodramatic. For a nice laid back gal like me, all that angst makes me roll my eyes. I do like those Taurus men, though.

â€œHer father killed my father (brother, dog, college roommate's second cousin's postman)! I shall ruin her! I shall ruin her so hard, her eyes roll back into her head and she'll scream my name for years to come! As she comes! Ahahahahahhahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha.â€

That almost ended in tea and cake crumbs all over my screen. Thank you – I haven’t had such a good laugh in ages!

@Ann Bruce: Oh yes! Pisces are much better for Scorps. I think it’s because Pisces are much better at “managing” people (aka manipulating, if you want to me mean about it). I’m technically on the cusp b/t Pisces and Aquarious, but any Pisces in me got steamrolled by all the Aquarious.

I've found that Capricorn women and Cancer women often get on best with the Scorpios.

Really? I’m very much a Cancer, and I find a lot of these Scorpio traits a turn-off (probably why I have such a hard time finding RNHos I like). Those traits that aren’t turn-offs? Those are the ones that turn me on because I know they’re bad for me.

Ahem! Lord Byron was an Aquarius. He was born 22 January 1788 in London at 2.00pm. This placed his Sun in Aquarius, with his Moon and Ascendant in Cancer (the 3 astrological big hitters, calculated by date and time of birth, for those who mightn’t know the jargon, and without wishing to sound like an astrological pedant.)

Despite writing this 18 months after your excellent article, I thought the correction was pertinent at any time, for those who appreciate such detail.

Very true, I’ve been with one for almost 3 yrs and still can’t figure him out, they are the kind of ppl who u should not understand their mind, but feel their heart instead. U won’t understand them even if they come with instruction books!
I hope someday I meet another Scorpio who is libra Scorpio cusp, theyre more peaceful and balanced.. :)
From a Libra lady who has and can knock their socks off..

This is not even close to the truth, it only scratches the surface about Stage One Scorpios, who get all the bad press.

First Stage: A “stage one” Scorpio exercises power through emotion and instinct. This Scorpio is symbolized by the scorpion, an insect more likely, in the end, to sting itself rather than others. Aggression and instinct are particular features of the Scorpion aspect, which is where the tendency to potential destructive behavior and competitiveness resides.

Second Stage: A “stage two” Scorpio is symbolized by the Golden Eagle and exercises power through the intellect. Golden Eagle Scorpios show signs of maturity above Scorpion Scorpios in that they possess the ability to see what others miss, discern hidden motives, and discover deeper truths beneath the surface of life. This can prove to be either beneficial or exploitative, where while Golden Eagles can indeed use these skills to help invent new medicines, save a patient’s life, successfully psychoanalyze the problems of others and help them find purpose, etc., because Scorpios also are known for valuing power and wealth as well, Golden Eagles are nonetheless not above exploiting others to suit their own purposes or interests, and can be used deceptively if not guarded.

Third Stage: A “stage three” Scorpio is symbolized by the Dove of Peace and the Phoenix, which exercises power through love, healing and transformation. The Phoenix represents a Scorpio who has been transformed, and has reached deep within him/herself to embrace the more subtle, mystical qualities of the soul, rather than ones ego, and in result soar to spiritual heights like a bird on the wing. The tendency to be judgmental and power-obsessed is gone, and rather the observational talents of Scorpio are fused with compassion rather than judgment, defeating a life of extremes and polarities and finding greater purpose through self-spiritual development.

I don’t know I feel about you knowing more about me than I do. I just realized a bunch of stuff about myself that I never put a lot of thought into. I feel weird right now – like a slow, heaviness in my body. I know your post is supposed to be funny, but it’s actually really true, and that kinda scares me.

Tell me, could a young Scorpio ever love and appreciate an older Pisces female? scorpios can be hard to read but,my gut tells me that this young scorp has a deep heart and soul and is wise beyond his years ( he is 25 I am 45 ). I’ve never dated a scorp but I recently ended a relationship with a sagg.

Signs are tendencies, and the horoscope illustrates the 360 degrees of human essence.
Scorpio intensifies depth. Not a swim on the waves, but a dive to the depths.

Remember too we all have the horoscope within, only with intensified characteristics.
We all have to rise above them, and the path up is yearns different results, but we all
meet at the summit of transcendence.

Once there, the 360 of human facets and abilities are there to serve, in full consciousness.

Same way, the route down, leads to the same fiery rut, and we can all travel it through our own custom path, formed in part through our planetary inclinations.

HAHA.. this is very true for both the Scorpio male and females I know…. It was a great read but as a Pisces us and the afflicted Scorpio get along great, maybe due to our adaptability,our loyalty or our understanding nature… The cons are we are both stubborn as hell, and we are vengeful, however unlike Scorpios we tend not to hold grudges and we tend to be able to give as good as we get. Something Scorpios can not seem to do, they love to do unto others but they can not stand to have it done unto them.

My sun sign is scorpio, my ascendant is aries, my moon is virgo, my venus is scorpio, my mars is gemini, my pluto is also scorpio (some star curse on those born on early 90’s, i was born on 1990).

Well, i am a deep lover of personology. That includes astrology, which lack of causes explanation, but is very effective on describing people anyways.
My studies and my life experiments, gave me some “self proclaimed knowledge” on the subject of my solar sign.

lazaraspaste is so damm right about scorpios, but i think RNHo heroes can be from any solar sign, and they dont have to have our (MINE, just being possessive) scorpio characteristics to be a heart melting romance heroe.

For example, one Virgo mysterious guy who ever rejected everyone, instanteneously propose to one girl he never met on his life on the first glimpse. I think “love at first sight” is not much virgo style, but as they really are perfeccionists an skeptical beings. Rather they love at first sight and forever, or they never love at all… :

But what caught my atention were the comments, the very perspicate and accurate comments on this post. They are a serious try of desmistifying the deepness of scorpios. And that is so… intrusive. Please get out of my mind!

In real life, i got really chalenged by Leo, Taurus and… Pisces (believe it) solar signed guys. They are hard to compete, Leo and Taurus, i dont have to say why, they are respectivelly the bright hot and the handsome hot. Piscians, well, they are hypnotic, some bros of this sign make me doubt my sexuality… damn!
But every male of every sign has its qualities that sometimes i cant overcome.

I guess Fabricio should combine his with Flip’s ideas, to reach the real point in astrological evolution. We have to overcome our primary characteristics to get to our evolved state of solar sign. At that point we may try to transcend and overcome astrology itself, but the evolved state of every sign is so defectless, so perfect that it would not be a necessary effort, but well… trying to get free is never wrong, unless you are under my control. ;)

@Skorpsy:
From all the comments Skorpsy is the one that gave me a good laugh…From a scorpio woman…..
And I loved the article…especially this part:
In addition to controlling their already controlled, yet intense, emotions, Scorpios will drop Easter Eggs of Doom and Dysfunction into the middle of a totally normal conversation without warning!
My brother is also Scorpio, and yes we had memorable childhood fights but we survived, and that is his specialty….along with the ultra secret….he just this year allowed me to have his email address…something about the fact that I could send him Trojan horses attached to the emails….

ahhh, yes, we are heroes.
and while those annoying Leos are trying to get people to clap for them an rejoice everytime they enter a room, us scorpios lurk in the shadows smirking at thier ignorance. Like satan trying to tempt Jesus in the Passion of the Christ.

priceless! as a Taurus female with Scorpio ascendant, this is priceless – a relationship of these two is no bull! when is on is ON but when is off is completely off…there is no middle ground!
Nothing is ever business with the scorp male, everything is personal, even if does not appear to be that way. They are, indeed, highly sensitive and emotional, always battling their conflicting emotions

All this being pretty true, but we can rise above it. You must know some really crappy Scorpio’s who are still holding on to bullshit, and by the sound of things you have been stung by one of them, or two, or three. I’m not surprised that you have come up against so many of our bad traits, you probably got stung once and next time you met a Scorpio he/she smelt the fear on you and primed that stinger for you. I’m sorry to read this because I know that we can and do behave like this. Once we can break away from all our bullshit we are free to soar like eagles, and are quite capable of taking you with us if we see fit.

You, Do not attract Scorpios, We attract you. In our truest form we are eagles, we soar. our talons, labeled by some as possessive, we use to pick you up and take you to new heights, if we see fit. mistreat us and we will drop you, leaving you falling. Jealousy, No. we soar high above the façade of mediocrity. Your lies, we see them. Your beauty, we see it. you call us jealous, But in reality we are brutally honest, and you simply have no other explenation for it other than, he wants what I got so he hates on me. No. we who you are, so we hate you.

Death, Because it is the opposite to life, which we are incredibly passionate about. their is nothing more beautiful than a conversation with a scorpion about life, and he will bring up death. which is going to scare the shit out of you, and make you wet. but he will bring you to new understandings of live and love and why you need to understand that you could die at any moment so that you be be free to live without regret and hate and restraint. Fearing death will only bring death to your passion for life, love death.

Super sensitive, and not just with out feelings. to your feelings, we have the eyes of a hawk and from where we fly we can see every detail of your emotional land scape, if you have any doubt about us, we see it. so we know that you have something that could hurt us. so we become secretive because we don’t want to get hurt, really. if your honest and a beautiful person we will tell you everything in a heartbeat. at least you will think its everything, we are deeper than you can Imagen.

Man whores. No, we have sex for so much more than that, we make love. We see a woman we like and we want to peel her mask off, so we can feel the magic that lies within her. we want to peal her scabs away, so we can heal her from the inside out.

as for loving a bad reputation, Well, you feed it with your imagination, so we may aswel embrace it.

lastly, you probably wont read this far because its far to deep down in the article for you. But I know that you have been hurt by a scorpion in the past. Im urging you to make like a phoenix and burn that resentment. so you can rise up and be free of your hate for us. Because hate, can only come from love, and I know that deep down you really do love scorpions, but we keep hurting you because you think we are going to hurt you, which we smell, and that hurts our sensitive souls, we are hurt that you would feel badly of us.

our stingers may be notorious for having a venom that can freeze you. all we really want to do is fill our tail with a love potion that will free you.

Very amusing and no doubt accurate in many aspects, however, I have experienced another side to Scorpio. From approximately 18months of age until I was 12 years old and sent to boarding school eleven Scorpio men (most in their 50’s) sexually molested myself and my younger sister. Our Scorpio Grandmother & our Scorpio mother provided these men with access to us and provided no protection for either of us.
As a point of interest, both my sister and myself were both born on the 13th of August.

Tobias’ That was deep but so true of the man I care for. I can’t be with him for various reasons.
I’M a Libra not as deep as Scorpios but I see so much of me in his actions. The difference is they act on them we only think about it. Sad to want to be loved so badly but no one really can truly give the love Scorpio needs.

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