June 29, 2006

And Bush Is More of a Woman, Too! Hah!

In the lunatic world we now inhabit (light versions thereof here and here, heavier version here), I often reflect that I probably don't take nearly enough recreational drugs. When I think about it more seriously, I am absolutely certain that I don't. And when I consider the question from numerous vantage points, I realize there simply aren't enough drugs in the world.

So okay. We've been told that Bush is a "man's man," a warrior cast in the heroic mold, a brave and valiant defender of civilization, the last bulwark before the barbarians destroy the few remaining vestiges of decency, honor and the "Father Knows Best" world. Balderdash and humbug, all of it. In fact, I'm planning an essay about our views of masculinity, feminity and sex generally that will touch on the nuttiness of this perception of Bush.

But oooo-kay. I'm used to all that. Now I don't even flinch when people say they feel all warm and cuddly and cozy with Bush in charge, just cuz he's so manly and all. I pity them deeply for their blindness and because they're batshit crazy, but it doesn't really get to me. You know what I'm saying? Alright, we're on the same page here.

But what in hell are we to make of this, from the always dependably insane Peggy Noonan?

This is one of those moments in which I love to imagine how the editing process at a place like OpinionJournal works: "Jesus, Bill, I told you to hide the damn mushrooms."

Feed your head, Peg-o-my-heart. One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small.

Ask Rush if you don't believe me.

You probably figured this out, but the Noonan statement inevitably comes in a discussion about how Hillary "has to prove she's a woman. No one in America thinks she's a woman. They think she's a tough little termagant in a pantsuit." See, Bush is even more of a woman than Hillary is. Something like that.

So...I wonder if Limbaugh's maid is looking for a new job. See, if I had a dependable and large supply of the right pills, this would all make sense to me -- and I'd be writing for the Wall Street Journal!

I have no ending for this post. Maybe I'll bang my head into the wall repeatedly. That should help, or at least knock me out for a few days.