Le gasp! Syp is PvPing! This is most certainly one of the sixteen signs of the apocalypse, although the whole Donald Trump/Hillary Clinton thing probably take up the first fifteen. Still, it’s dire, I think you’ll agree.

Why is this happening? Simply put, after scratching my head and meandering about in World of Warcraft, trying to figure out the path to gearing up at endgame, the one suggestion that came my way more often than not was to suck it up and fight in Ashran to get ilevel 700 stuff. And so I’ve been doing so off and on for a couple of weeks now. Here are my findings from these excursions.

(1) You don’t participate in Ashran. You endure it.

I heard someone say this early on, and boy is it apt. I’m sure that somewhere, some players are having fun with this, but I get the feeling that most people are simply putting up with it to get the goods and then depart. Kind of like going to the dentist — you grin and bear it, hoping that you’ll get a visit to the dentist’s treasure chest at the end of the visit. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU SAY THAT’S JUST FOR KIDS. I want my treat.

(2) I have no idea what’s going on half the time.

As with most things this late in the expansion cycle, I’m hopelessly behind the curve. So there are a bazillion acronyms that I’m supposed to decipher spamming my raid warning notices, and I’m flailing about going, “What’s F2? WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY IS F-FREAKING-TWO?”

Oh, I know now. Not because I asked. Just eventually picked it up out of osmosis.

(3) Follow the crowd, always.

Don’t go alone. Don’t get cute. Just find the biggest bunch of colored dots and stick with them like a nervous gazelle that might get eaten if a lion can pull me away from the herd. Or a Death Knight with that death grip thing. Free ride, to be sure, but a terrible end.

(4) My prayer is always for a good leader.

If a group has a good leader who calls out instructions and herds those impatient cats with a stern hand, then chances are we’re going to win and win handsomely. But I dread getting in those groups that has weak or no leadership. Then all I can do is be slightly entertained by how quickly the raid falls into in-fighting and put-downs.

(5) There is no shame in retreat.

Hey, better to be thought a slight coward than to lose my artifact fragments is all I’m saying.

(6) This hasn’t changed my general dislike of PvP

See that screenshot above? How the heck am I supposed to know anything that’s going on there? I just tab-target, let loose some AoE spells, and hope for the best. It’s all a muddled mess of jumbled bodies, flying numbers, and particle effects, the way mother nature intended.

(7) Forget the mines

Those mines… man, every time we’re called down there, it’s like we go to our death knowingly. It’s a charnel house in the making, and I will never see the sunlight again.

(8) Seriously, I have no idea what’s going on.

Hey, why are we retreating? Why am I being launched 500 feet up into the air? Who is this Gayle you speak of? Why won’t that one guy stop shouting “VOL NOW!” even when the rest of the group tells him not yet? Oh hey, I’m dead again. Awesome.

(9) I’ve learned Stormshield’s layout well, thanks to the queue.

I don’t recommend it to travelers. It’s kind of a pit.

(10) Yes, the rewards are worth it.

On a good day, on a good streak, I’m upgrading pieces from 640 to 700 here and there. There are four main ways for doing this that I can see: completing the overall PvP quest for a purple box, downing Vol for a blue box, and stocking up on honor and conquest points to buy whatever else I need.