With this whole process comes a lot of thoughts, with a lot of thoughts the need for an outlet arises...thus the blog.

Monday, January 25, 2010

What I have to believe...

In an effort to figure out exactly what we’re supposed to learn from the “almost baby” situation, I really have been wracking my brain and praying a lot the last few days. On Tuesday when all was said and done, I looked at Tyler and said “What are we supposed to learn from this?”. We didn’t ask for this. It came out of the blue completely, we never once prayed that God would put us in contact directly with a pregnant woman who wanted to give her baby up. Tyler couldn’t give me an answer, it was too soon I think for the both of us to try and come to any conclusions but I was legitimately curious and desperate to know what lesson I needed to learn. I wanted to make it very clear to God that His message was received loud and clear whatever message that was. You see if we had sought this girl out, if we were making it our personal mission to stalk pregnant women and beg for their unborn, unwanted children I would get it, I would see how He would have maybe wanted to put His foot down and say “GUYS! This is not how I want you to become parents!”. The truth is, we weren’t doing that. We weren’t even thinking that an identified adoption actually happened in real life (which is the type of adoption when we find the birth mom instead of our agency). It seemed, on that fateful Tuesday, that every barrier we encountered big or small was demolished within minutes and we encountered quite a few that day. We made it up until the very end, where the birth mom was telling us what kind of diapers to buy and the best kind of formula to use. So it wasn’t until Saturday night, while we praying together in the car on our way home from dinner, that I “randomly” stumbled upon what I have to believe is the lesson or truth I learned through all of this. What I have to believe is that HE saved us from something. No doubt about it. Whether He saved us from her changing her mind after we brought him home, or perhaps future health problems, I don’t care. God is our protector, our Father...He doesn’t want us hurting anymore than we want to be hurting, no Father wants that for their children. So, last night I slept soundly knowing that my Father in heaven loves ME, protects ME, and He manifested that truth to me this last week in a very clear way.

Romans 8:38-39 “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,s neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”