Award-winning ad man-cum-auto journalist Don Klein knows a good (or bad) car commercial when he sees one; the Ad Section is his space to tell you what he thinks of the latest spots. The ad’s rating is depicted via the shift pattern at the bottom, but everyone has an opinion when it comes to advertising, so hit Backfires below and tell us what you think, too.

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After seeing this commercial for the first time, I hit the rewind button, put some drops in my eyes to make sure my vision was clear, and watched it again. And then, just to be positive, I watched it one more time. I know it sounds crazy, but it looks like it’s depicting a guy who takes his all-wheel-drive LS out on a miserable snowy night and picks up a high-class hooker. Of course, Lexus wouldn’t really make a commercial that glamorizes prostitution, and I’m a little ashamed to admit it even crossed my mind because I want you all to respect me. She’s probably just the babysitter and he’s picking her up to watch the kids while he and his wife go to a movie or maybe to an evening church service.

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But to be honest, based on the way she’s dressed, she’d have to do a lot of babysitting to pay for all those expensive clothes. True, she skimped on the skirt, but those silver stilettos . . . they must’ve cost a fortune. And to tell you the truth, they really aren’t practical for the snow. I mean, what kind of woman would wear shoes like that in inclement weather unless she was a—well, no, there I go again with my hooker theory. And like I said, I know that can’t be true.

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But in fairness, what does she expect people to think when she walks down the street that way? Did you see how the woman in the restaurant glared at her when she went by? Definitely gave her a “you’re a hooker” look. And if she really is a babysitter—or the guy’s date for that matter, assuming he’s not married—why wouldn’t he pick her up in front of her apartment? If she’s not a streetwalker, why make her walk the street? Anyway, that’s what I thought the first few times I saw the commercial, so I Googled the lyrics to the song (“Snowflake”by Malachai), thinking they might shed some light. And did they ever.

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“How many times have you gone below/Hanging around those seats and back rows. When nobody’s eyes can see what you know/Who’s under the coat, you’re wondering? So many times I’ve seen my shadow/hovering over that sweetness I know. When all of a sudden I’ve needs from below/Who’s there for me now? I’m hungering/Calling out for love.” See? Nothing loaded about that.

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The guy in this commercial has “needs from below,” which obviously refers to his stomach. He’s “hungering” and she’s his dinner date, and he’s really happy to see her (explains his big smile) because now they can finally get going to the restaurant. He didn’t recognize her at first because it’s a blind date and, like the song says, he was “wondering who’s under the coat,” which is why he didn’t drive to her door to pick her up. It all makes perfect sense now. They’ll probably have a great time, and maybe if he’ll even find the love he’s “calling out for.”

But then the lyrics say something that makes me think maybe the night didn’t work out so well after all. After the date, he apparently suffered from food poisoning: “While the rest of the world’s slumbering/Down on my bended knees and elbows”—he must be sick—“When all of a sudden I’ve needs from below”—and it’s obviously a gastrointestinal issue.

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Well, if he doesn’t feel better, at least his all-weather-drive LS will get him to the emergency room through the snow. And if he’s too sick to drive, maybe that nice girl will take him. Although she’ll probably have to take off her stilettos.