Trump vs. Witches: The Battle of Our Time

(HuffPost) – A document making its rounds among the witch community is asking people who practice the craft to perform a monthly binding ritual until the president is removed from office.

In order to work, the mass spell must be performed at midnight EST on every waning crescent moon.

The first one is happening on Friday and will be followed by similar spell cast events on March 26, April 24 and May 23 and beyond.

H/T Chasing News for the following video, the cuts to the newsroom for follow up and clarification requests are high comedy:

Oh shit. Donny J really stepped in it this time. Take on the Washington establishment? Ok they’re a bunch of paper pushing bureaucratic pussies. Troll Sweden with fake out terrorist attacks? Sure we all loved the last season of South Park I get it.

But now Trump is Public Enemy Numbah One with the witches/ generally creepy people community. Not good. I mean this isn’t a bunch of cry baby ACLU lawyers. These are witches. As in magical powers witches. I watched True Blood and Donald, you are FUCKED.

Silver lining so far is that he has seemed to survive the first salvo of spells, hexes, and overall bad juju (debatable but he is still in office, for now). But these witches aren’t done. Not by a long shot. We still have March 26th, April 24th, and May 23rd to have nightmares about.

It’s the Witch equivalent of storming the beaches of Normandy with wave after wave of pure strength. Except their’s is nicely spaced out over the next three months and instead of catching Nazi lead on some French beach, they’re secretly gathering in the woods at night in suburban America and being creepy as fuck. Maybe they’re making a bid for America’s second greatest generation?

From the video I think we can all agree this is a legitimate threat. I mean we have full witches, half witches, and even the fucking Ice Queen getting involved. For those who think witches are fake news, this video proves that there are many of them, they are out there, and they’ve been communicating. My guess would be either telepathically or through a complex system of Raven mail.

Too early to tell but Donald can’t sleep on this National Security threat. We need to set up special task forces to deploy around the country where Wiccan populations are high and start rounding these people up. I don’t know maybe he can use the Dept of Homeland Security or Immigration and Customs Enforcement, pretty sure those agencies haven’t been very busy rounding people up recently….