Temptations….

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Walking to my car this morning, I was shocked to see a man walking his beautiful Akita in front of me. Not so much shocked by the act, but by the dogs reaction to me walking to my car. In the mile hike I have to take to my car on days there are no spots in the front, I have to walk by a common area for dog walkers and today was no exception.

The dog was beautiful – brown, white and fluffy. She, or so I would only assume, looked like a great cuddle dog – which mine is not unfortunately. But she stopped in her mid morning walk to watch my walk down the concrete path that lead to the back alley I was about to walk. Starting at me intently, I felt an uncomfortable feeling that the man was watch me to. And in fact, in my brief glace through the dark sunglasses I was wear, HE WAS! A little flattered by the attention I continued to walk down the alley to my car without saying a word. It was the natural human reaction that I wanted to say hello to the dog, but the man was … lets be honest, attractive. And I was not about to put myself in that position.

As I made my way down to the car I had the realization I had forgotten my phone. And like most people these days, I cannot live without my phone. Especially with my husband deployed – I know it’s not possible he would call while he’s under the ocean, it’s always a probability. Then I thought, well, I dont really need it – because that would mean I would have to head back toward the man and his Akita. I knew he was watching me – I could sense it. Whether or not he was there, it was obvious.

I made the decision to get into my car and started to back out – I could have gone one of two ways. I could have pulled out and headed right which would take me to the front end of the apartment complex and to my front door, although this way would add a few minutes to my commute as I would eventually have to turn the opposite way to head to work. Or I could turn left and head back down the alley from which I just came, and potentially run into my admirer and his Akita again, should he still be walking her down that path. This was the quickest route because there was not going to be a 10 point turn involved in heading back toward my work. I made a left.

Instantly, I felt that uncomfortable feeling again – as he and the Akita we still standing where they had first caught my eye. Same exact spot as that brief moment before, only this time, I knew he was looking right at me. I smirked a bit – because I am human – as I enjoyed the attention for just a brief moment more. I stopped the car and turned on the emergency blinkers, truly in irony. Stepping out of my car in my thigh high boots and plain dress, I had my glasses on still and I smirked once more knowing that he would see. In that same moment, I shook my keys with my left hand, intending to have him look at the wedding ring that was obviously there. And I kept walking…

I have to admit, as I had before – I was mildly flattered by the attention that was shown to me in this interaction. But it surprisingly did not evoke any feeling of temptation in me. I naturally avoided the conversazione, and the instinct to say hello to the beautiful dog. And quiet honestly, that man walking her could not stand next to my husband at all. Even though I have not physically since J in 5 months, 3 weeks and 1 day, he is the most attractive man in the world. And although I have not meet everyone in the world to compare to, no one in the world can evoke the weakness in the knees that even a phone call from my husband can evoke.

Now the temptation to adopt another animal because of that interaction – that is a whole other ball game. The dog we have is an Italian Greyhound/Terrier mix…we think. She is a daddy’s girl through and through. In our first interactions with her, she was loving and adorable with him. In fact, when we adopted her – she, in all reality and truth, adopted my husband.

Being a shelter dog, she has a lot of abandonment issues – and from experience, she gets attached quickly and seems to have her heart broken often. When we first meet her, Mua, she was a ball of energy and still is. It was the day at the shelter, our first time looking at animals and we really had not decided what kinds of dogs we were interested in. I think back now, and we just wanted to have a dog who loved being with us. So, we went around the whole shelter and decided we wanted to meet four of the dogs. They were the most friendly and hopefully one of them would mesh well with us.

The first dog was a 10 year old bull dog mix. He was not interested in anything expect the fact he had a place to run and was not in that kennel. He was not the dog for us. It was sad, because I really liked his personality – but he just paid no attention to me or J.

Next was Mua. She came in, pulling at the leash she was on and ready to play. As the trainer took her off the leash, she ran – full throttle, straight into J’s lap and started licking his face. It was adorable to see how quickly she took to him. They started playing with the ball and ropes…well, it was just love at first sight for the both of them. Papers were signed quickly and a trip to Petco later, she was home.

Since J’s deployment she has gotten very attached to me as she was to J…yet, it’s difficult on me. I imagine this is slightly whats it’s like to have children while a significant other is deployed. I am the disciplinary and the friend…I hate having to be both. Seeing her crawl slowing across the floor when I am mad at her for whatever it is and then 10 minutes later have her jumping for joy is exhausting.

Maybe the temptation for another dog, is really temptation for a child? I cannot really decipher it as of now. All I know is that Akita this morning was attracted to me in some way, and it got me thinking – there is a small hole in my life.

Thank goodness J is coming home soon! Otherwise, I would have to adopt another dog!