A Fake Sun And 19 Other Ways To Beat The Winter Blahs

Everyone talks about the winter blues. I don’t really get the blues, more the blahs. I’m not sitting around moping. I’m pissed off. My symptoms include not being able to sleep at all or wanting to sleep too much or waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep, getting very easily aggravated by everything — people, places, inanimate objects (I yelled at my cell phone last night) and only wanting to watch “Downton Abbey” or “Top Chef” while consuming large amounts of dark chocolate. This is where I’m at right now. Maybe I should go to London where an art collective installed a giant fake sun in Trafalgar Square. The fun (fake+sun), which is as bright as 60,000 lights bulbs, is said to be boosting the moods of all who bask in its glow. This is what I need! A fake sun! After the jump, some more ideas to get rid of winter blahs.

Drink iced coffee even though it’s freezing out. A great reminder of summer and personally, I think coffee tastes better when it’s iced and it never gets cold.

Get all bundled up and sunbathe on your roof. With the real sun, not a fake one, unless you live in London. Do it for as long as you can or until your fingers and toes turn blue.

Hot yoga classes. If only I could motivate myself enough to want to sweat that much.But it does feel good if I can make myself.

Buy tickets to the theater or a concert to give you something to look forward to. I did this. And I was momentarily less annoyed.

Splurge on technically out of season spring/summer flowers. Amelia told me that Whole Foods had Chilean peonies about a month ago and having them in her home in December made her happy.

Try on your summer dresses and try to come up with new outfits you plan to wear once it gets warmer out. Or you can winterize your favorite summer dresses with tights, sweaters and scarves. Lord knows I have plenty of scarves to work with.

Find an excuse to have a party, since there are no foreseeable holidays ahead unless you count Valentine’s Day, which I don’t. I like to have record parties where I invite friends over to listen to records. Or you can celebrate any fake holiday of your choosing.

Bathing suit shopping. At least you’ll be well aware of what parts of the bod need toning before June. Motivation to go to hot yoga?

Buy something bright for your bedroom. Like a giant, fake sun to hang on your wall. Or maybe just a new throw pillow.

Make a long list of goals for the next six months. Focus on what life will be like once you’re wearing those sundresses again and your rich and toned and on your way to Jamaica with your perfect new boyfriend.

Instead of winding down your social calendar to hibernate, amp it up. Reach out to friends and make plans that you can’t get out of even if it’s snowing. Like plans to get together and watch the season premiere of “Ru Paul’s Drag Race.” Done and done.

Find a new engrossing television show to sink your teeth into that will make you excited to get out of bed every morning. Ahem, “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” or “Downton Abbey” even though I’m blowing through it at a rapid pace. I’m already anticipating my depression once it’s over.

Start sleeping with your hot water bottle. I started doing this and it made happy, like there was another person in my bed. I suppose I could just try to find an actual person to sleep in my bed. For now, the hot water bottle will have to do.

Get some highlights. Everyone’s like, “Go dark in winter.” I’m like, “Go light!” Making an appointment for highlights today.

Buy some new curtains that let more light in. If you are lucky enough to have windows, quit blocking the light with blackout curtains. Go gauzy. Soak up your vitamin D.

Paint your nails a bright spring-y color. I like Essie in Knockout Pout. I’m taking this goth blue/ black color off immediately. I look like I have winter, witch feet.

Invite over friends for Sunday dinner. Sunday nights are the worst. It’s dark by 5pm AND you have to go to work the next day. That’s just not right.

Start saving $20 (or $50, or whatever you can afford) out of each paycheck. You can sock away money for spring/summer clothes or for the vacay to Jamaica or to pay your accountant to prepare your tax return.

A lava lamp. I dunno, could be fun. I know, I’m digging here. What have you got? Add your suggestions in the comments.

Leolah Brown, sister to Bobby Brown and aunt to Bobbi Kristina was kicked out of her niece’s funeral yesterday after verbally lashing at Pat Houston Bobbi Kristina’s former manager as well as sister-in-law to Bobbi Kristina’s mother Whitney Houston. Phew. That was a mouthful.