Peppercorn Saison

Do you ever watch those Jesus channel morning children’s shows which invariably feature not only the worst writing and acting on television, but also an enormous amount of “fun” puppetry? You don’t? What’s wrong with you?

I go through binges where my sons and I sit and watch them and mock them mercilessly – at least until my wife emerges from her slumber and I quickly change the channel to something else – anything else before she catches me. If we ever had to go to marriage counseling, I think this behavior on my part would be on her short list of things to discuss.

(Note: that should tell you we are not headed to marriage counseling any day soon.)

So why do I reveal this potentially embarrassing bit of private Steve? Because if it doesn’t already exist, I fully expect there to be a crazy Jesus channel puppet show puppet named Peppercorn Saison soon. Like, before the return of Jesus, soon.

Of course, Peppercorn Saison will be a black kid with his hat on backwards and will be a bit sassy – “saisony” if you will. He’ll profess a love of Christ, but will engage in some un-Christlike behaviors on the basketball court (these shows are ALL hopelessly stereotypical. Trust me. I’m an expert.)

Oh sure, Peppercorn is a good baller, but he’s just a jerk about it so Dusty and Randall have to teach him a lesson down at the burger joint. Or the ranch. Whichever, they are the only two places life lessons are taught on these shows.

I wonder what kind of beer Jesus would like? Or was he strictly a wine guy? I would guess he’s be into Magic Hat #9, He’Brew’s lineup for obvious reasons and, of course some PBR to show he’s one of us. Would he like peppercorn saisons? Probably not.

Believe it or not, CBH’s unique sounding beer isn’t super unique (though it’s still pretty unique.) Other breweries have made it. And even Serious Eats mentions it in this article on spiced beers: “Peppercorns produce a wonderful flavor when used in Saisons, but I’ve even tasted a Pale Ale homebrew with an excellent pepper character. To get a clean flavor profile, try a single variety of peppercorn, such as green, pink or white. For a 5 gallon batch, half a teaspoon at the very end of the boil is enough to get a subtle flavor, and 1 teaspoon will allow the character to shine through.”

CBH says:

I seem to have lost it.

Argh. I hate losing stuff. I am not sure, but I think CBH used pink peppercorns (sort of a trendy thing in the foodie world these days). I’m guessing they used the equivalent of 1 teaspoon per 5 gallon tank, because the pepper character definitely shone through.

I had a bit of a cold, so I can’t really give a thorough review. But that’s okay, because I probably wouldn’t have liked it too much. I’m just never a fan of spices in my beer – and I don’t care who’s putting them there. Even the vaunted Dogfish Head spiced beers are pretty gross to me.

However, since CBH seems pretty cautious when it comes to bold flavors in their beers, I’m guessing it’s not too peppery. I DID taste and even smell it a bit through my clogged sinuses, so it’s definitely there.

Probably the biggest turnoff though wasn’t the flavor or smell, it was the fact that it had NO head. I’m talking NONE. It was bit flat and thin and watery as well, which may be a saison thing. I’m sure this beer has its fans, I’m just not one of them.