Category: family

What’s the difference between people pleasing and codependency? A lot of times, people will say they are a people pleaser, but they don’t necessarily identify as being codependent. In my research, and in my life experience, I have found there is no difference. It’s just a little nicer way to say it when you say “i’mContinue Reading “People Pleaser? or Codependent?”

I thought I could fix him. I remember thinking on so many occasions when my husband was in active addition that if he loved me he’d quit using, or if he really loved our family than the wouldn’t steal from the kids, or pawn things, or do any of the other maddening things that oneContinue Reading “Love is not enough.”

99.9% of people think that you send your loved one to rehab and they come back ‘fixed’. Life will just be sunshine and rainbows….right? If they stop ____ then life will be _____ – I don’t blame them – I did too! See, when he was using, he was never home. But when he cameContinue Reading “What if rehab doesn’t fix everything?”

Do you feel like you’re going crazy and you don’t know what’s true anymore? Do you feel like you’re just going and going and not getting anything done? Like you’re spinning your wheels? Like it’s a lot of work, but no fruition? You know what I mean – you’re burning yourself out to take careContinue Reading “When you feel like you’re going crazy…”

Why do I spy on my partner? Ah, the joys of being the wife of an addict/alcoholic. The lies, and deceit, and not sure what to believe. Chasing them, and/or the truth, and sometimes not believing either of them. In some ways, we are like Magnum PI (am I showing my age here?) andContinue Reading “WHY do I spy on my partner?”

Characteristics of Codependency Addiction doesn’t discriminate, neither does codependency or feelings of unworthiness / not being good enough and wanting to lose yourself (even if it’s unconsciously) in others. I’m on the journey too – just a few steps ahead since my hubs has 6 years clean. I’d say the last 3 years I’ve beenContinue Reading “Characteristics of Codependency”

Where’s the first place you go when you need to shop? Stay with me here – the first place I go when I shop is the clearance rack. I like to find bargains and deals. I’ve bought things that I didn’t necessarily like, or fit particularly well (i.e. too big/small) because they didn’t have myContinue Reading “Self worth – What’s your price tag?”

Codependency is something you hear a lot about in 12 step programs and groups for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts There’s books (Melodie Beatty’s Codependent No More being one of them) written about the subject. How to define codependency, how to determine if you’re codependent, how to “fix” it. It’s been my experience that it’s neverContinue Reading “The love/hate relationship with codependency”

Healing wounds from the past can be tricky. Do you have issues and baggage from your years gone by? Those dang wounds will come sneaking up on you sometimes and when you least expect it – they can reach up and try to pull you back. I’ve had the opportunity to explore some of myContinue Reading “Healing wounds from the past”