The 7 Weird Wedding Characters You Always See

Every wedding has them and we’ve all noticed them before, the strange characters you always come across at a wedding. It doesn’t matter if you’re a friend or family of the bride or groom, you’ll have met at least one of these types before on someone else’s big day...

The weird relative who makes inappropriate jokes

There is always one, and you’ll always find them either near the bar, or wherever everyone congregates to smoke now that smoking is no longer allowed inside. That’s right, the relative that makes the most inappropriate jokes you’ll ever hear. I love a joke but when I come across a person like this, even I find myself cringing at some of the things they say. In public no less!

Grandparent who leaves at 5.05pm to go home to bed

Yes, most families will have elderly relatives who have left the comfort of their house or care home for the first time in months to witness their grandchild or great grandchild tying the knot. All of that ceremony-based excitement must really get to them though, as roughly five minutes into the reception another member of family will announce that Grandma Elsie has to leave to go home ‘and get settled in for the evening’.

Everyone wants to leave early and do the same yet only the older generation are actually allowed to do this. A shame really, it would’ve been great to see her moves to the Macarena or Saturday Night after a couple of glasses of Bucks Fizz.

Drunken uncles ‘putting the world to rights’

Usually making an appearance later on in the evening, the two drunken uncles (at least they’re usually uncles) can be heard discussing how they would rectify the problem’s currently besieging the country. This usually starts by stating that the current Prime Minster couldn’t organise a p*ss up in a brewery, and ends with them discussing ludicrous policies they would bring in if they were the country’s leaders. Ironically one of these guys has probably tried to organising an ‘educational’ visit to a brewery that ended perhaps all too predictably in chaos.

Let’s hope one of them runs for the position in the next general election!

Small child sliding across the floor on his knees

It’s a staple of a British wedding, a young lad in his finest shoes, trousers and shirt looking smart. Except he’s pretty much wearing through the knees of those trousers with all the knee slides. He doesn’t care though, and his parents don’t seem to either, in fact his father is chatting to another member of the family up at the bar…

The so-drunk-they-can’t-even-stand-up-on-their-own guy

Not really much that needs to be said here, no matter where you go you will always find someone who has enjoyed their drink just a little too much. It’s not a result of a binge drinking culture; it’s simply someone not knowing when they’ve had enough. Unfortunately for them it happens to be at a wedding where everyone else is behaving better than they usually do when they’re imbibing alcohol.

It doesn’t matter so much for the sozzled attendee, at least not until the following morning. The story might be a little different when the wedding film and photography comes back though.

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The one who complains about everything and says their wedding was better

No matter how lavish the spread or how expensive the wedding was, chances are you’ll overhear someone talking about how their big day was better. Of course your day was better to you; it was you who was getting married!

However, if they happened to get married in a castle and had everyone ferried there via Hot Air Balloon then they’re probably right, their day was better!

The guy NOBODY knows

There is often a point during the night when a few people realise that one of the guests isn’t actually known to the bride, groom, or anybody there! At this point it’s probably too late to politely ask them to leave, especially when you remember that they were sat next to Aunt Enid for the four course sit down meal.