No matter what happens on your next flight, you should consider yourself lucky if you don't wind up covered in a stranger's bodily fluids. Yesterday during a flight from Portland, Oregon to New York, a father left his 11-year-old daughter in her seat while he took his other daughter to the bathroom. When he returned, he found 18-year-old Robert Vietze peeing on the girl. Vietze had consumed eight drinks on the plane and later told police, "I was drunk, and I did not realize I was pissing on her leg." The two men nearly came to blows and had to be separated.

As if the flight wasn't exciting enough, an hour before landing a passenger complained of chest pains and vomited on himself. The flight attendants tried to clean everyone up with liquid soap from the bathrooms (which probably only made them smelly and gooey) and the pilot warned passengers that police would be meeting the plane at the gate. The sick man was escorted off the plane and Vietze was issued a summons for indecent exposure.