Archive for July, 2009

I heard about this thing called the 80’s. I’m not quite sure what that is, but anything that is always preceded by the word “the” is usually pretty important. So, I’m going to have to go with my instincts on this one and assume that I should jump on board. I did some research on how to make the 80’s a part of my everyday life. Leg-warmers were first on the list in many of the scientific journals I was reading. I studied the pictures and definitions and realized that I can easily make my own leg-warmers with a few household items. Let me walk you through this recipe*:

*Please note that this will only work for people under 3 feet.

1. Find a pair of your daddy’s tall, cozy socks.
2. Hold them up to your leg to make sure they are long enough to adequately “warm”. Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean we should take warm for granted.
3. Put one sock on each leg all the way up to your buns if you can. Leg-warmer motto “The warmer the better, the longer the tetter.” (Rhyming is more important that real words).
4. The 80’s leg-warmers have the feet cut out. But, you have to make fashion your own, otherwise it’s not art. I choose to leave the feet on so that my piggies can be warm with my legs. Also, I’m not sure that’s a good way for Daddy to find out about my new ideas.

It’s so obvious that these are old pictures. My hair is much shorter and so is my bod. But, Easter was so much fun that I couldn’t resist recounting the story. We had an Easter egg find. I know that eggs don’t seem to have much to do with Jesus, but that’s because you haven’t dove beneath the surface on this one. Let me get deep and philosophical with you for a sec. Jesus is God. God created chickens and therefore eggs. God also created foodstuff which evolved into candy. There you have it. Jesus is awesome, so awesome. He died on the cross and came alive again. And, he created eggs and candy sort of. So, maaaaaybe eggs and candy can help us celebrate the true meaning of Easter….ya know, because Easter has to do with Jesus and eggs have to do with Jesus.

Or maybe not. You know what? I’m not so good at finding and keeping Easter eggs anyway. I think I’ll just stick to hams and hallelujahs.

I know that this picture doesn’t exact portray Fun Run Mun. But let me introduce you to the face entitled “The Boat is Serious Stuff”. Right when you enter the boat there’s padding you need to add to your manfit. There are several purposes for this important article:

1. When you jump into the water or fall off something, it swims you back up to the surface. Very efficient.
2. Often in lake circumstances you encounter strange and dangerous animals that are so big. In such scenarios you want to make yourself look so humungous that you nonverbally communicate “Step off like it ain’t no thing.” But, inside you have so many sad and worried thoughts going through your head and don’t have the energy to puff up. That’s where the boat pads come in handy.
3. When you’re ready to take a nap, you really don’t need to move at all. Simply shut your eyes and your head will remain completely supported in every direction. I’m actually thinking about presenting this in my next nap time board meeting. Imagine the possibilities.

After what seemed like a million minutes, I finally convinced Mommy to let me take her on a tube ride. At first she was so nervous that she hung on to my boat pads so tightly. You know what? I know what works for my Mommy, so I started to sing our favorite song. “The Lord told Noah there’s gonna be a floody floody…” Pretty soon I saw her head start to bob and fingers start to snap as she couldn’t help but be made unafraid. I think I need to write this one down in her Mommy book.

Pretty soon, she was having so much fun singing and riding. I, on the other hand, prefer knee boarding and daring things like that. Once I knew she was comfortable, I simply laid my head down to take a little nap. You see! I told you those boat pads are going to be revolutionary for nap times!