subscribe

Pages

Monday, March 16, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009

Every holiday I'm forced to wonder: must we anthropomorphizeeverything?

The answer of course is yes - yes we must. Thanks for clearing that up, Becky F.

Not only is this next incredibly hulking blob supposed to be a shamrock, it's also got quite an infestation going on:

[sucking air through teeth] Hoo boy! Christy M., I'm not gonna lie to you: this is bad. Bad bad bad.

[hitching britches up] Now, what we've gotta do here is get them there lil' buggers out before they start "compromising" your "substructure", you follow? 'Cuz once THAT happens, well.. [shaking head mournfully] Let's just say it's "bye bye birdie". Now, fortunately for you, I just so happen to have a specialrunnin' this week... [hurrying out to fetch calculator from Hummer]

Aaand the "Worst Attempt at a Shamrock" goes to... [opening envelope]

Alison H.'s "Alien Arms Squashing Lice"!!

[announcer voice] "This is Alison H.'s first win in the Sham category. Her previous nominations include 'Dog Paws on Poo', 'Head's Up! It's Edible!' and the critically acclaimed 'Santa's Sticky Surprise'."Wow, these St. Patrick's Day cakes are driving me a bit buggy. How 'bout you guys?

Okay, 1) do people not realize that dark-colored sprinkles around the edge of cake just make it look like a mouse came along and finished decorating it? 2)CCC clover-attempts are bad enough, did the wreckorator of #3 really have to make cloverleafs look like they are CCC clovers? 3) What on Earth have those anthropomorphized clovers been smokin'?

Oh... ew... maybe that's just a really unfortunate sprinkles disaster on the second cake, but from that vantage point it looks really, really icky. Larvae creepy. I'm having a hard time wiping the repulsion off my face. Just... ew.

I can see the work area scene...the person holding the container with sprinkles sneezes. Sprinkles jump out of the container in a blob (or worse, are blown out of the container by the force of the sneeze--hence the stragglers further out....) Decorator sees the blunder, tilts his/her head for a second point of view, admires the random placement of the escaped sprinkles, wipes their nose, moves this cake aside and thinks to himself/herself "one cake down, 19 more to go....."

I think that bakery person should redirect her/his energy into creating cactus cupcake cakes. Get rid of the stem, add some lil dots for places the spines grow, and some oblong red shapes for the fruit, and you'd almost have a prickly pear cake.

I think the wreakerators were counting on the possibility that people would be too drunk on St Patty's Day to notice silly things like shapes and proportions.... I mean, maybe with Beer Goggles on, they look *right.*

I have looked on this blog three times today and that second picture still has the Blob from the Emerald City on it. Where do they get that vile green icing? That's a rhetorical question; I don't really want to know.

WV: bingui=I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle so I had to rub bingui on it. (This may only work for those of us of a certain age.)

Hehe. I just had to share this with you. My 4-year-old loves to look at the cake pictures here, so today he gets to the one of the cookie with shamrock faces and starts yelling, "Mommy, mommy, come look! They made a tadpole cake!"

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.