Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

I am forgetting

It has been 3months since my husband died and I already feel like I don't remember what it was like to have him here. I mean, I remember all of the things he would do if he was here, but I forget what it felt like to come home to someone. Kevin always got home before me and would have picked the kids up and had dinner cooked by the time I got home. I forget what it was like to actually want to go to bed, and feel him next to me. I can't imagine what a lifetime will be like without him when I already feel like I am losing his memory. Anyone else feel this way so soon? It scares the crap out of me! I mean, will I remember anything a year from now?

I am sorry for your loss. I think you are still numb it has been 14 mths for me today and I can remeber everything about him living here as if it was only yesterday. i remember in the early days I used to hate coming home because he would not be here, all you can do is function. it does get a little better with time. Put one foot in front of the other and you will go on. Hang in there.

I am sorry for your loss . I think what your feeling is part of the stages of grief It been almost 5 months since I lost my hubby i still remmber him like if I look at something but know this the memories are there your love for him is there alway will be . I keep you in my prayers always huggskthyy jo

I don't think your memories, your sense of Kevin, are fading - they are waiting. Waiting until you're just a bit stronger, maybe. Or waiting for the pace of your daily life to settle just a little so that there's room in your thinking....

I read your profile, and with a full time job and two young children, you are sure to be a very busy young woman. With a husband like you described Kevin, and a life like the two of you shared, there is no way you will ever forget. Just take each moment, each day as it comes and get through it as best you can. The memories will be there, clear and bittersweet, when you are ready.

I agree with jd1982 - it's part of your body, mind, and spirit giving you some space to heal. It's also normal to be in a kind of mental fog. It will come and go over time. And just when you think maybe you're forgetting, the dreams will come and you will remember the happier things....

Jan is right. It hasn't been that long for you and in a way, you are fortunate to have so many things to keep your mind occupied. The memories ARE still there and will always be there. And when the time is right they will all come flooding back for you to sort through, remember and cherish. These special men in our lives that we have loved and lost are not that easily forgotten. We just all have different ways of processing our losses and forgetting is never one of them. Be patient with yourself. You've been left with alot of responsibilities and they are coming first is all. Your memories of Kevin are still there, just beneath the surface, they aren't fading, just waiting till the time is right.

I remember I was feeling the same way around the 3 month mark. I would that i was forgetting his face, his touch, I put up pictures all over my office I can now look into his eyes every day. Went your mind is ready it will all come back to you hug and blessings to you.
Susan

It's been the same for me, I'm at the 9+month mark, and when I look at pictures and so many things around the house I can see him and hear his voice and can recall some of his antics and the fun we had. All the responsibilities you have just seems that you feel you are forgetting, but it's all there for whenever you need it. Take it one hour, one day at a time and try to find some quiet time for just you. Hugs, Cindy

I'm just at the three month mark and I could have written your post myself. It hurts to think that I could block out my life with him so easily - but it's not intentional, I know that. I have his pictures up all over the place and I talk to him constantly - but it still seems like he's a figment of my imagination now - I can't remember coming home to him or going to bed or cooking dinner or anything that I try so desperately to remember. I've been told that this will pass - and it sounds like some of the others here that have been doing this longer than us are confirming this for us. I hope and pray that they're right.

Thanks yet again for all of your insight and support. I love it here. Everything that you all said makes sense. I have my husbands grandmother's china cabinet that we were supposed to get before Kev died but didn't get it until after, set up like a shrine. I have pics of him everywhere, and I swear sometimes it's like I can hear him in my head, but it's the daily drudgery that seems to be fading. I have hope now that eventually some of those moments shared will return. Thanks to everyone!

I am so sorry about the way you feel. It will all come back to you. You're just stuffing it way down. Let it out and you will feel him. I talk to my husband every nite and when I just had a bad time I asked him to hold my hand like he used to and I did feel him. Let the feelings come. You can write if you would like

I cant seem to get started on things i have to do (like taxes, cleaning out the closet, getting my son's old car fixed to selll). Everything overwhelms me. My husband has been gone three years. I still miss him terribly.

I am new to this group. I lost my husband in February 2018 and I am so lost, sad, broken, lonely, etc. This site was recommended to me.

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