When was the last time you took a second look at your student loans? If you’re like most borrowers, you probably try hard not to think about them. After all, dwelling on your debt isn’t going to make it go away any faster. Or is it?

Yesterday, at approximately 10:30AM, scores of financial services employees breathed a collective sigh of relief. Relief that months of studying had paid off in the form of a passing score on the Level II and II CFA exams. Relief that, even though months of studying had been a total waste of time with nothing to show for it, they could get on with their lives and stop wondering. One guy was less lucky. He’s in a CFA holding cell right now pending an investigation, thanks to some supposedly suspect fidgeting and a couple proctors with itchy trigger fingers, possibly hoping to impress their superiors.

According to the suspect, “No one has ever accused me of having a nervous tic or cheating before…I don’t understand how you could honestly mistake my, admittedly strange, gestures as signaling to an unknown accomplice.”

Got an unhappy employee (or former employee) on your hands who’s decided to channel his or her anger by penning an Op-Ed in a major publication detailing egregious acts being committed at your firm and/or going to the Feds with allegations of fraud? Not sure how to handle the fallout? Why not take a page from Donald Trump’s playabook? He found himself in a similar situation with regard to Sheena Monnin, a first-year Miss Pennsylvania who “resigned her crown” over the weekend, claiming that the Miss USA pageant is “rigged.” Here’s how Don dealt with the matter and how anyone thinking about taking a more hands-on approach to dealing with disgruntled employees might too:

Threaten to sue.

“We’re going to bring a lawsuit against this girl,” Trump, who co-owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBCUniversal, told NBC’s “Today” show co-anchor Ann Curry on a phone interview; he used similar language in a phoner with George Stephanopoulos on ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

Note that you’ve already conducted a thorough investigation into the employee’s claims and that your internal probe has revealed them to be baseless.

Monnin announced Tuesday on her Facebook page she was turning in her tiara after she: “Witnessed another contestant who said she saw the list of the Top 5 BEFORE THE SHOW EVER STARTED proceed to call out in order who the Top 5 were before they were announced on stage. Apparently the morning of June 3rd she saw a folder lying open to a page that said ‘FINAL SHOW Telecast, June 3, 2012′ and she saw the places for Top 5 already filled in.” “They’ve done an investigation,” Trump said today. “I just found out about it — they just reported to me about five minutes ago. The person that supposedly showed the list totally denies that that ever took place.”

Suggest, by saying outright, that the outburst can chalked up to the fact that this person didn’t receive the promotion she thought she deserved. Make it clear that she was not partner material. Sixth-year VP material at best.

Asked his first impression of Monnin, Trump said, “I saw her there. My impressions were she didn’t have a chance of being in the Top 15 — not even close. And all this is, is a girl who went there, lost, wasn’t in the 15, and she’s angry at the pageant system. Later, he added, “I never felt she had a chance. And all this is is buyer’s remorse.”

Only a quarter of the 300 to 400 sex shops that once existed in Athens have survived the crisis, and business looked bleak for those who brought their wares to Greece’s biggest sex fair-the Athens Erotic Dream- last Friday…”Things look really bad,” said stall holder Donatos Passaris, 38, standing in front of a long bench […]

Patti S. Hart, the Yahoo director who headed the board search committee that picked Scott Thompson as the company’s chief executive, will not stand for re-election, a person briefed on the matter told DealBook on Tuesday. Ms. Hart’s departure, which could be announced as soon as Tuesday afternoon, is the first significant response by Yahoo amid the growing controversy over Mr. Thompson’s academic record. The company is also expected to formally announce later on Tuesday the formation of a three-member board committee to investigate Mr. Thompson’s hiring and how erroneous academic information appeared in official company documents. [Dealbook, earlier]

Do you know what time it is? Nearly 1PM, EDT. The significance? That it is over an hour past the deadline hedge fund manager Dan Loeb put the Yahoo board on to fire CEO Scott Thompson and director Patti Hart for being résumé con artists. (Thompson, Loeb revealed last week, lied in SEC filings about having […]

Last Friday afternoon, while many a financial services employee was dealing with the fallout of receiving a bonus they did not believe to be commensurate with the work they put in for 2011, Bridgewater was dealing with a far weightier issue. The hedge fund had a thief in its ranks and said thief’s jig was […]

As you may have heard, Lenny Dykstra is currently sitting in jail on bankruptcy fraud charges. The man once named investor of the century by Jim Cramer could prepare for his upcoming trial in the company of wherever he’s crashing these days but no one has stepped up to the plate to cover the cash […]

Time was, if you were an exotic dancer, your customers probably wouldn’t have thanked you for that lap dance you so deftly performed. Ingrates, the lot of them, but what could you do? But now? That things aren’t so happy snappy? Strippers are finally getting appreciated for the hard work they do, at least according […]

With regard to…prison rape? It appears to be a new term recently coined by Tracey Ullman, in the clip above, wherein the Bubba to Bernie Madoff’s bitch rolls over and tells the Ponz Master, “Give me a Bloomberg Minute before you brush my teeth.” Obviously this thing has the potential to be huge so before […]

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Jan 26, 2010 at 2:28 PM

SAC

Mary Jo White was the top federal prosecutor in New York City during Bill Bratton’s first run as the Big Apple’s top cop, and she learned a few lessons from his “broken windows” theory: Clean a place up a little, and throw the fucking book at the street urchins who are messing things up with […]