Bradford’s Big Brother Breakdown: One Hundo Thousand

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to the season finale of Bradford’s Big Brother Breakdown! This is the recap of the dramatic conclusion to #BBCAN2, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it already.

If you don’t mind, I’m not going to bother with tweets this time. So, if you haven’t exited this tab, let’s get right down to it, shall we?

FINAL HoH

This season’s Three Stages of Hell went as perfectly as it possibly could have. JoNeda gave Sabrina the 1-2 punch, as Jon won the first stage, and Neda won the second, leading to a face-off in the finals. They went back and forth for the first five questions in the final stage, both nailing every answer. It wasn’t until the 6th question that Jon took the lead, & the 7th question solidified Jon’s place in the final two.

EVICTION

In the shocker of the season, Jon turned on his best friend, & evicted Neda from the game. I can honestly say that I shouted in anguish as my pick from day one walked out the door, despite the fact that Neda would have done the same thing to him. For me personally, the travesty of Jon’s selection is that Neda went home empty-handed after being so close. It’s no secret that her family needed the money much, much more than the well-to-do Abbate girl that slithered her way into being handed the $20,000 cheque, but this is how the dice was cast. Jon did what was best for his votes, and I suppose we have to respect that, despite how irritated we were when Neds had to leave.

FINAL TWO

Once Jon announced who he was accompanying in the finals, it was obvious which way the votes would go. If Rachelle wasn’t still such a lovesick puppy for Sabrina, Jon would have had the clean sweep. It’s a shame he didn’t – he deserved it. He won 6 competitions – the most wins in BBCAN history. He was the biggest threat throughout the entire game, yet flew under the radar for the first half, & avoided being nominated until the final week. Even when he was on the block, he wasn’t there for long, only being nominated for a total of two days thanks to yet another Veto win. No one deserved it more than Jon, not even my Persian Princess, Queen Neda. Congratulations, Mr. Pardy; you have won one hundo thousand dollars.

And now, for my final soapbox session of the season…

THE WORD OF ‘FORD: SABRINA SABOTAGES SECOND SEASON

I have no idea how the Sloppy Seconds imploded at the feet of the worst player in Big Brother history, but there Sabrina stood in the finals, unscathed, and unashamed by her actions. As a player, Sabrina was horrendous. It was hard to watch her attempt at gameplay. I would mute the live feeds when she was on, sometimes even turning it off, even if she was hanging out with the people I actually wanted to see. There was one night where she hogged the conversation for 2 hours; every time I turned the feeds back on, there she was, yapping. Insufferable. If production truly believed she was good for ratings, take a look at my Breakdowns – the first had 600; this won’t even hit triple-digits. Fans lost interest, and lost it quick when it became the Sabrina Show. There’s a reason I referred to her as Sabotage all season – she ruined what was otherwise an extremely delightful season.

I look forward to the audition process for next season. And if I don’t make it, then I guess you’ll be back here listening to me bitch again, won’t you?…Won’t you?