happiness quotes

You encounter difficulties in your week, whether big or small. What’s your first reaction? Dwelling on your problems? Or acknowledging them, but knowing that you will get the best of them, and not your problems getting the best of you?

You may not know it, but how you responded to those two questions sums up a two-part strategy for living a happier life.

The last couple of weeks, I’ve focused on happiness enhancing strategies.

Don’t Practice These Unhappy Habits

Comparing Ourselves To Others

“If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

— Max Ehrmann (Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life)

This is the practice of comparing ourselves negatively to others: in terms of who they are, traits they have, amount of money they make, the home they live in, and so on, and so on. I think we all get the idea. And we’ve all been there.

If you’re not aware of this habit, you may want to notice its presence in your life. In negatively comparing ourselves to others, we become focused on what we don’t have, and on traits we feel we lack. This pattern of thinking lends itself to unhappiness, discontent, and helplessness.

Worrying

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. ~Leo Buscaglia

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. ~Glenn Turner

Dwelling on self and on problems is the second negative habit of unhappy people. They are constantly thinking of worst case scenarios, and asking themselves “What if” questions that have negative answers.

Practice thought stopping.Thought stopping is just a fancy way of saying, “Stop It!” to yourself when you find yourself either comparing yourself negatively to others, or excessively ruminating on your problems.

Solve Your Problems

One of the best things you can do to lessen worry is to schedule a problem solving appointment with yourself.

Pick a specific time during the week where you will spend at least 30 minutes writing down your specific worries.

Practice thinking about positive What If scenarios. You’ll want to take time to put together your own personal development plan. Then, spend time ruminating on the positive outcomes you will create. It’s worry in reverse! By thinking intently about the positive outcomes you’ll be creating, you’ll be counter-acting those worry thoughts.