Making Homemade Mustard

Maille's Paris Madeleine store is undoubtedly beautiful. Mustard on tap comes with impressive crocks, and the sampling experience tastes and feels expensive- though after an intial 20-30 euro investment, refills cost 10% of the original price. Still, the hassle of wading through a crowd of Asians and the terrifying bike commute for 100 mL mustard makes zero economic sense. Grocery mustard brands come in reusable glasses more at home in a grandmother's kitchen than my own. The solution? Buy bulk graine de moutarde at Marché Belleville and make spicy, package-free condiments myself.

Two kilo mustard seeds (yellow and black) were 8€, and since I use one cup ground seed per batch, this fiery version is literally crazy cheap. Combine one cup ground mustard seed- the photo is misleading, it was hardly yellow- 1/3 cup honey, and 2/3 cups white wine minus a tablespoon over medium heat. If desired, replace white wine with the vinegar of your choice. Stir in one tablespoon white vinegar or whiskey (optional). Cook 5 minutes before transferring to glass container. Leave at room temperature for maximum spice, or store in the refrigerator for milder mustard. I ground yellow seeds only- in a pepper grinder, which was stupid- and mixed in 1/4 cup whole black seeds for stronger flavor. Mustard seeds are notoriously hard to grind, so some people suggest soaking them first and letting a food processor do the rest. I neither have nor want a food processor, but my friend lets me borrow hers, so n'importe quoi.

I thought this would be a disaster, but it's actually consistently excellent, unlike my food staging and photography (this looks much better in real life). Now that I know how quick, tangy, and delicious fresh mustard is, I'll only visit Maille when I miss my family or need a gift.