As some of you might have read, I want to a kink party Saturday night and followed it up by going to a swingclub. At this swing club, i was part voyeur and part exhibitionist; masturbating in the big room where there were about 20 fucking in different arrangements.

Why is this a joy of poly? Well, I told both partners that I was going. Well, one is my power exchange partner, so I asked permission, and the other one I gave a heads up to. They were both encouraging and told me they wanted stories if anything naughty happened. They said this with a smile, practically pushing me to experience what I could.

To me, that’s a joy of poly. If either of them were feeling jealous, I knew they would speak up and tell me to go anyway. That’s how we communicate. So, when they told me to have fun, I knew they meant it. So, away I went with their full blessing. And I had fun.

I came back and wrote about the experience the next day and shared it with them both. They were both excited for me.

I love this. I love having partners that support my adventurous side and my slutty side. Two partners that are accepting of me. Two partners that trust me. Two partners that lift me up so that I can shine.

Yes. This can happen in Monogomy….well except for the slutty part I guess. …….Actually this hasn’t been my experience in Monogomy or any other Monogomous relationships that I’m aware of. Though there has to be some that exists.

This morning I caught myself saying the phrase ‘Eat the Orange’ a couple of times…mainly because it’s my husband’s birthday and it’s a saying that he is fond of. Not only a saying, but a life philosophy that he likes to live by.

It comes from a Buddhist story. In this story two monks from different countries come across each other while traveling. Each of the monks have their translators. One monk decides to test the other monk. He holds up and orange and through the translators asks, ‘what is this? What is this?’. The translators do their bit and relay the question. The monk being asked the question picks up the orange and peels it, taking a bite. Then, asks his translator, ‘don’t they have oranges in their country?’.

The point of the story is instead of trying to tell a story about something, or guessing at something, bite into it and see for yourself. Experience the adventure.

So, I/we try to live life by ‘eating the orange’; by experiencing new things on purpose. It’s a way of thinking that helps us to walk through fears. For example, if someone asks me out for coffee, my first thought is to say no. Why? Well, I can come up with a number of excuses. ……too busy, what will it turn out to be, is it going to be a waste of time, what if they are scary, what if I fall for them, i have other things to do such as email. But, when I think about just going and ‘eating the orange’, it takes on a whole new flavor.

Instead i think about what the experience would be like. Maybe it will be fun, or scary or whatever, but it will be something that i wouldn't experience while sitting home on the computer.

Just like my naughty goal list that I finally shared. It was scary to be that vulnerable, but I finally put it out there with the idea of what the hell, let’s ‘eat the orange’. Who knows what will become of it. So, when facing fears, or trying new adventures…..this has become my philosophy for the most part.