FTD not wanting to feel baby?

Firstly I'd like to say 'I'm sorry' for coming to the Dads corner to post (as obviously I'm a woman lol) but I need some advice..I'm 17w2d / 4months pregnant and I felt the baby move for the first time yesterday in the early AM- on my hand from the out side! I'm over the moon about this but I play it cool around ppl. Lol Well yesterday afternoon I was layog down for a nap and (Dh was home early from work) started feeling those little fish like wiggled down there and called him over to come feel.. After less than 10seconds of positioning his hand he looks at me and says 'you know this will be easier when the baby is bigger...idk why you want me to feel now when I can just wait..' I was completely shocked ...WTH?? When I told everyone that morning that I felt the baby move te first thing that came out of all their mouths was 'you Have to make sure the next time it moves Chester feels it' ... So my question is what do you think is going thru his head? Is he just uninterested? Clueless? I'd love to give him the benefit of the doubt but he really hurt my feelings on this one. (sorry for no para's I'm on iPhone)

Firstly I'd like to say 'I'm sorry' for coming to the Dads corner to post (as obviously I'm a woman lol) but I need some advice..I'm 17w2d / 4months pregnant and I felt the baby move for the first time yesterday in the early AM- on my hand from the out side! I'm over the moon about this but I play it cool around ppl. Lol Well yesterday afternoon I was layog down for a nap and (Dh was home early from work) started feeling those little fish like wiggled down there and called him over to come feel.. After less than 10seconds of positioning his hand he looks at me and says 'you know this will be easier when the baby is bigger...idk why you want me to feel now when I can just wait..' I was completely shocked ...WTH?? When I told everyone that morning that I felt the baby move te first thing that came out of all their mouths was 'you Have to make sure the next time it moves Chester feels it' ... So my question is what do you think is going thru his head? Is he just uninterested? Clueless? I'd love to give him the benefit of the doubt but he really hurt my feelings on this one. (sorry for no para's I'm on iPhone)

So, I'm a girl too, but I thought I might give you my perspective. When I was prego, my Hubby loved to try to feel the baby move. But... It wasn't as easy for him to feel it, as it was for me. Sometimes he would feel a bit sad or discouraged, and it was definately easier as I got bigger! I can't say that's what is going on for your guy, but that was our experience!

So, I'm a girl too, but I thought I might give you my perspective. When I was prego, my Hubby loved to try to feel the baby move. But... It wasn't as easy for him to feel it, as it was for me. Sometimes he would feel a bit sad or discouraged, and it was definately easier as I got bigger! I can't say that's what is going on for your guy, but that was our experience!

My DH is not a fan of touching/feeling our baby move. The first time he felt her he said "eeew gross"! Im not going to lie, it hurt my feelings. But on the flip side i have never seen anyone more excited to be a dad than dh. I talked to him about how it hurt my feelings and he said it just kind of freaks him out a little and how stong us women must be to be able to go through all of what we do to bring life into this world. I am due in 2 weeks and i do not force him to touch belly like i tried to in the beginning, if she is moving like crazy i ask him if he wants to feel her. Sometimes he will and sometimes he doesnt. I guess what im trying to say is, dont let it get to you, it doesnt mean anything about what kind of dad he will be. :)

My DH is not a fan of touching/feeling our baby move. The first time he felt her he said "eeew gross"! Im not going to lie, it hurt my feelings. But on the flip side i have never seen anyone more excited to be a dad than dh. I talked to him about how it hurt my feelings and he said it just kind of freaks him out a little and how stong us women must be to be able to go through all of what we do to bring life into this world. I am due in 2 weeks and i do not force him to touch belly like i tried to in the beginning, if she is moving like crazy i ask him if he wants to feel her. Sometimes he will and sometimes he doesnt. I guess what im trying to say is, dont let it get to you, it doesnt mean anything about what kind of dad he will be. :)

I have to post on this. My husband is the same way, this is my 4th pregnancy. He touched my belly once with the first one and said it was like there was an alien inside of me! Never has touched my belly since then. I will still ask him but he gets mad if I push and it hurts my feelings too! :(

I have to post on this. My husband is the same way, this is my 4th pregnancy. He touched my belly once with the first one and said it was like there was an alien inside of me! Never has touched my belly since then. I will still ask him but he gets mad if I push and it hurts my feelings too! :(

when my partner started to feel the baby move for the 1st times, she would always say "come quick, come quick!" so I would rush over as fast as I could and the baby would stop kicking (the stubborn little rascal! lol), it really annoyed me and upset me because I wanted to be a part of this. after a while I gave up trying, until one night, I was holding my fiance in bed and I was rubbing her tummy whilst she was sleeping, and all of a sudden.... he kicked my hand!! I was soooooooooo happy :)
so don't be disheartened if he loses interest, his time will come!!
my fiance is 35 weeks pregnant now and I have only felt him kick once! so it does feel like Im losing out.
but I know that shortly I will have a bond with him when he is born :)

when my partner started to feel the baby move for the 1st times, she would always say "come quick, come quick!" so I would rush over as fast as I could and the baby would stop kicking (the stubborn little rascal! lol), it really annoyed me and upset me because I wanted to be a part of this. after a while I gave up trying, until one night, I was holding my fiance in bed and I was rubbing her tummy whilst she was sleeping, and all of a sudden.... he kicked my hand!! I was soooooooooo happy :)
so don't be disheartened if he loses interest, his time will come!!
my fiance is 35 weeks pregnant now and I have only felt him kick once! so it does feel like Im losing out.
but I know that shortly I will have a bond with him when he is born :)

Please don't feel bad! It freaked my hubby out too and he refused to touch my belly :( however, he is the most amazing dad ever and is extremely involved in raising our son. Some guys just don't enjoy feeling the baby move.

Please don't feel bad! It freaked my hubby out too and he refused to touch my belly :( however, he is the most amazing dad ever and is extremely involved in raising our son. Some guys just don't enjoy feeling the baby move.

While my hubby was excited to feel our first LO moving and kicking I'm sure it was freaky for him as well. He happens to be a little more sensitive than most men. Our bodies are made for this and we have the hormones to go with it. So we feel a loving bond when we feel the baby growing and moving. They just aren't wired the same way. The hormones don't flow for them until they get to hold and see their baby. The saying goes, 'A woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant; A man becomes a father when he sees his baby for the first time' Or something like that ;)

While my hubby was excited to feel our first LO moving and kicking I'm sure it was freaky for him as well. He happens to be a little more sensitive than most men. Our bodies are made for this and we have the hormones to go with it. So we feel a loving bond when we feel the baby growing and moving. They just aren't wired the same way. The hormones don't flow for them until they get to hold and see their baby. The saying goes, 'A woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant; A man becomes a father when he sees his baby for the first time' Or something like that ;)

that quote is not ment to put down expecting fathers. of course you are all dads from the moment the baby is concieved. it's just ment to explain the bond a mother has first physically with her unborn child. there is no way a father can have that same bond (before birth) with the baby bc you arent growing, feeding, and protecting it, even passing emotions through yourself to the baby like a mom to be does. dont take it personally men. its the one certain thing a woman can do that a man cant. dont take that away from her. you are all great fathers to be, relax a little. sheesh!

that quote is not ment to put down expecting fathers. of course you are all dads from the moment the baby is concieved. it's just ment to explain the bond a mother has first physically with her unborn child. there is no way a father can have that same bond (before birth) with the baby bc you arent growing, feeding, and protecting it, even passing emotions through yourself to the baby like a mom to be does. dont take it personally men. its the one certain thing a woman can do that a man cant. dont take that away from her. you are all great fathers to be, relax a little. sheesh!

that quote is not ment to put down expecting fathers. of course you are
all dads from the moment the baby is concieved. it's just ment to
explain the bond a mother has first physically with her unborn child.
there is no way a father can have that same bond (before birth) with the
baby bc you arent growing, feeding, and protecting it, even passing
emotions through yourself to the baby like a mom to be does. dont take
it personally men. its the one certain thing a woman can do that a man
cant. dont take that away from her. you are all great fathers to be,
relax a little. sheesh!

I've spent plenty of time on birthboards. So I have seen plenty of women comment on not feeling that "bond" you talk about. And I know my wife did not feel it at first. So please keep the sexist talk out of Dad's Corner.

And trust me, I had a bond from as soon as I knew my wife was pregnant. So please don't tell me what i did or did not feel.

that quote is not ment to put down expecting fathers. of course you are
all dads from the moment the baby is concieved. it's just ment to
explain the bond a mother has first physically with her unborn child.
there is no way a father can have that same bond (before birth) with the
baby bc you arent growing, feeding, and protecting it, even passing
emotions through yourself to the baby like a mom to be does. dont take
it personally men. its the one certain thing a woman can do that a man
cant. dont take that away from her. you are all great fathers to be,
relax a little. sheesh!

I've spent plenty of time on birthboards. So I have seen plenty of women comment on not feeling that "bond" you talk about. And I know my wife did not feel it at first. So please keep the sexist talk out of Dad's Corner.

And trust me, I had a bond from as soon as I knew my wife was pregnant. So please don't tell me what i did or did not feel.

no one is saying you didnt feel a bond. im speaking for women when I say we have a DIFFERENT bond that happens. and im not getting all technical with whatever % of women that dont feel an instant bond. as mothers we dont have the same bond as a father does, why would a father feel the same as a mother? get over yourself. no one is being sexist. its two totally sperate feelings that occur between mother and child and father and child. no one is trying to put down fathers..or be sexist...

no one is saying you didnt feel a bond. im speaking for women when I say we have a DIFFERENT bond that happens. and im not getting all technical with whatever % of women that dont feel an instant bond. as mothers we dont have the same bond as a father does, why would a father feel the same as a mother? get over yourself. no one is being sexist. its two totally sperate feelings that occur between mother and child and father and child. no one is trying to put down fathers..or be sexist...

Except, clearly, you... Since you refuse to acknowledge that what you have said has offended us and is patently incorrect. I may not have had them inside of me, but I had just as strong and important of a bond with my girls before they were born as my wife did. Different? Maybe... But my bond with my daughters is still different than my wife's. But I was their daddy just as much the day I found out we were expecting as I was the day they were born and that I still am today.

no one is trying to put down fathers..or be sexist...

Except, clearly, you... Since you refuse to acknowledge that what you have said has offended us and is patently incorrect. I may not have had them inside of me, but I had just as strong and important of a bond with my girls before they were born as my wife did. Different? Maybe... But my bond with my daughters is still different than my wife's. But I was their daddy just as much the day I found out we were expecting as I was the day they were born and that I still am today.

Wow! I never thought about that quote from a guys point of view. I can see how it would upset you.
I know my husband feels a bond with our baby and loves to feel him move. He's always kissing my belly and talking to the baby. He has a special bond.
I wont be saying that quote anymore.
OP: Maybe just give him time. I'm sure he'll come around.

Wow! I never thought about that quote from a guys point of view. I can see how it would upset you.
I know my husband feels a bond with our baby and loves to feel him move. He's always kissing my belly and talking to the baby. He has a special bond.
I wont be saying that quote anymore.
OP: Maybe just give him time. I'm sure he'll come around.

Holy damn, I think she is a little hormonal, you know how us women get when we think we are right. I see both points of view, the bond is most definitely different, however when we lost our first one my husband was just as heart broken as I was and he wasn't the one going through the physical loss. We are 4 weeks tomorrow and I know he already loves this baby with all his heart. There are most definitely fathers who act as though they don't care until they hold it, I've known several, but there are just as many who get an instant bond with a baby in their wife's belly such as my hub. I think that's awesome.

Holy damn, I think she is a little hormonal, you know how us women get when we think we are right. I see both points of view, the bond is most definitely different, however when we lost our first one my husband was just as heart broken as I was and he wasn't the one going through the physical loss. We are 4 weeks tomorrow and I know he already loves this baby with all his heart. There are most definitely fathers who act as though they don't care until they hold it, I've known several, but there are just as many who get an instant bond with a baby in their wife's belly such as my hub. I think that's awesome.

im hormonal? yall are just not understanding what im saying. I am in no way trying to say fathers dont have or have a weaker bond then mothers. its just a DIFFERENT bond! holy donkey D*ck! lighten up men. its just a discussion. you will never know how a woman feels and a woman will never know how a man feels..enough said. now, lets all take a deep breath and pull our panties out of our ass. next topic please!

im hormonal? yall are just not understanding what im saying. I am in no way trying to say fathers dont have or have a weaker bond then mothers. its just a DIFFERENT bond! holy donkey D*ck! lighten up men. its just a discussion. you will never know how a woman feels and a woman will never know how a man feels..enough said. now, lets all take a deep breath and pull our panties out of our ass. next topic please!

I'm a new dad and I love my newborn. But like your husband, I really didn't get super excited about feeling the baby move when my wife was pregnant - it just didn't really "do" anything for me. I know my baby is in there, I know it kicks and wriggles and squirms like its supposed to, that's all good news. But that doesn't mean I'm dying to feel it kick. Im sure it'd be very different if it was a living thing growing inside me, but it's not. I'm happy in the knowledge that was healthy and my wife was happy. I wouldn't take it the wrong way - now that my baby is born, I can't help rubbing my face in her stomach!

I'm a new dad and I love my newborn. But like your husband, I really didn't get super excited about feeling the baby move when my wife was pregnant - it just didn't really "do" anything for me. I know my baby is in there, I know it kicks and wriggles and squirms like its supposed to, that's all good news. But that doesn't mean I'm dying to feel it kick. Im sure it'd be very different if it was a living thing growing inside me, but it's not. I'm happy in the knowledge that was healthy and my wife was happy. I wouldn't take it the wrong way - now that my baby is born, I can't help rubbing my face in her stomach!

My dh wasn't very excited because even when he was feeling it he didn't know. He thought he was just feeling my muscles contract because it was such a slight movement once I laid there with his hand on my belly and told him every time he kicked dh got excited. I think you should talk to your dh and ask why he would rather wait till later maybe it's a similar situation

My dh wasn't very excited because even when he was feeling it he didn't know. He thought he was just feeling my muscles contract because it was such a slight movement once I laid there with his hand on my belly and told him every time he kicked dh got excited. I think you should talk to your dh and ask why he would rather wait till later maybe it's a similar situation

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