“Sometimes, I almost decided that there was no point in going on, but I thought that it would be even worse for my family if I wasn’t there. Though there were days when I felt so useless that I even wondered about that. But that wasn’t the worst moment. It came when I had to sell my viola. It was not especially valuable, but it had been my father’s and my grandfather’s, and I could make it sing. I’ve got another one now which is supposed to be as good, but it’ll never be the same. The man who bought mine; God, he got a bargain, I was so desperate. Anyway, he’s moved to Petersburg, and I’ve lost touch with him. I’d give him five times what he paid to get my little violuschka back.”