As
gay people, most of us have had to deal with the unrelenting hatred, prejudice
and fear by some homophobic heterosexual Americans who can’t accept
homosexual Americans.

Please
note, that I am not talking about ALL straight Americans, just those who do
their darndest to make our lives miserable.

Many
people quote the Bible as their reason for gay bias, denying us respect, acceptance
and basic human rights, going against what America AND Jesus Christ is all
about. But the funny thing is, I believe that the reason they cannot accept
us is because of a very primitive, childish and emotional reaction that has
nothing to do with the Bible.

On
really a basic, primal level, homophobic heterosexual men can’t accept
gay men because we are not like them. And the root of the issue is
the childhood ridicule and scorn taught by society against any perceived weakness
and femininity.

What
is really behind the arrogant, self-righteous, smug, mouth foaming, and red
eyed craziness against gay people and gay men in particular?

It
all starts in the 1st grade.

Boys
learn to make fun of each other at an early age. Young boys also teach each
other that they are better than girls, so anything feminine is not as good
as anything masculine. This they all learn from observing adults, media, sports
and action heroes. Various and subtle degrees of misogyny abound in America,
encouraged and accepted by men and women.

The
root is really anti-feminist…anything to do with females. Men are strong,
women are weak. Men are leaders, women are followers. Men have intellectual
discourse, women just gossip. Men are aggressive, women are passive.

But
what about passive men and aggressive women?

This
is also why men insult each other with female references. And we've all heard
that coaches and drill sargeants humiliate their members by calling them "Girls",
"Ladies" and "Pussies"; emasculating them to make them
weaker and easier to control while making themselves appear stronger. Of course,
"Faggots" is the next term stepped up.

Even
gay men use words like "Girlfriend", "Princess" or "Queen"
when talking about each other.

Boys learn to get at each other by making accusations that another boy is
“like a girl”…and since “girls kiss boys” then
to be gay is to be “a boy who kisses another boy”. Yechhh! The
ultimate put down and threat to any boy’s identity, masculinity and
social standing. Young boys are running scared that someone will find a reason
to make them an outcast, and if they are branded gay, the entire school will
turn against them and make their lives miserable with taunts and name calling.
And we all know how boys love finding and picking on other kids. It's fun
and funny and makes boys look tough, and no one is going to pick on you if
you're the one doing the picking on. So each boy starts their own long campaign,
whether consciously or subconsciously, to go against anything that might make
them look weak…and this carries over into how they talk, what they wear,
what sport they play, and eventually to what they believe, who they vote for,
and how they treat people including their own families.

From
the start, American boys are taught to fear this type of ridicule. No boy
wants to be perceived as weak. So the fear of not being masculine enough is
smashed over each boy’s head, (reinforced by every family member, adult,
and peer). Any sign of femininity is a blaring siren that this boy is a“sissy
”.

And
the most important element to note...is that boys and men teach each other
in their personal interactions with jokes, remarks, accusations and hostility...that
being gay is repulsive and something to be ashamed of.

This
is where it all comes from: Each other.

So
begins the “masculinization” of every American boy. That boy now
has to learn the ways of manhood. Not REAL manhood…but doing things
to appear “manly”. Things that Americans have decided are manly:
aggression, pride, arrogance, intolerance, cursing, competing, fighting, fag
bashing, chasing women, toughness, excess, revenge, wildness, stubborness,
never looking weak, having an answer for everything, always being right and
never admitting you're wrong, doing whatever you want regardless of the consequences or whoever it will hurt, etc.

(This
is also why the world would be a better place if it was run by women! Men
are way too emotional!)

This
is true for all manner of American groups containing men, whether in sport
teams, gangs, unions, companies, law firms, fraternities, colleges...men are
expected to behave like REAL men.

But
some men say, "Hey, it's testosterone man, testosterone...I can't help
it, I was born this way!" Hey, and that's fine with me...but then why
will you refuse to believe us when we say we were born gay?

Christian
men are different...churches attempt to teach their men to live more like
Christ: more gentle, more honest, with more integrity and an emphasis on leadership.
But machismo still exists and sneaks into the "Christian Man". So,
we get loud aggressive Christian leaders who think they know everything, and
who act like they're God's right hand man. (Humbleness is one of those traits
that is somehow overlooked, because it is a sign of weakness.)

But
society still believes that boys will be boys. Anything boys do...is charming.

"Boys
who love boys are gay"... so the average boy in America learns they can’t
get TOO CLOSE to other boys. Boys can only love girls. Men cannot show or
have affection with each other. Straight male society can only relate to each
other through straight approved activities and since real men can't love other
men, then they have to fight, compete, kill and conquer...even while playing
together. Even if the game is intellectual like chess or video games...there
is still violence without the violence...someone has to win...because losers
are weak. Passive. Feminine. Pussy. Pansy. Gay.

Women
can make close friendships with other women, but straight men CAN'T get too
close to other straight men.
There are a lot of lonely straight men out there. Because to get close to
another man is well…being gay! So independence and self-reliance is
better than depending on another man, because there is always that competition
and fear of looking weak. It is easier to keep up the facade when no one knows
you too well. And when men get together they talk about girls, sex, sports,
cars, gadgets, tools, the stock market, politics, facts and figures...etc.
Men
are always trying to impress each other...boasting about their accomplishments
and achievements to appear stronger, smarter, tougher, richer and better...to
each other. Notice that I said "appear".

But
for two men to share their feelings, struggles, failures or sadness with each
other…is well…way too gay...a sign of feminine weakness.

Some
Christian men HAVEN'T gotten wind that in the Bible, David and Jonathan cried
in each others arms, kissing each other because they had to separate. (1 Samuel 20:41) And yes, I'm talking about King David, who was chosen by God to rule
His people. Hmmm.

I
have heard there are a few Bible translators who just can't deal with this
scenario of affection between the two men. The Living Bible in 1971, translated
that David and Jonathan "sadly shook hands, tears running down their
cheeks". SHOOK HANDS? Are you kidding me? And the new version: "Both
of them were in tears as they embraced each other and said good-bye"
- New Living Translation. 1996, leaving out the kissing altogether! Or yet
another, "And then they kissed one another and wept, friend over
friend" - The Message. 1993. Let's make it VERY clear, shall we?

For
straight men to show love, affection, appreciation, admiration, friendliness,
concern or care...is to be feminine…to be avoided because, “REAL
MEN DON’T DO THAT”. The fear of being branded gay is so strong,
that men will do and say anything to prove they are not “feminine”
which includes having prejudice against a man who is perceived feminine. They
beat us up so they can look butch! No girly man here.

But
of course, for straight men...touching, cuddling and engaging in sex with
another male is disgusting to them. That is REALLY the BIG reason. Hey, no
problem, dude. I get it. I ain't forcing you to do anything. It's a free country!
But just because I'm not interested in heterosexual sex doesn't mean I want
to eradicate heterosexuals from existence. I acknowledge that people are different,
and because of Jesus Christ, have the right to live and worship God happily...even
if I'm NOT like them.

Many
American men today are hyper-masculine. They work, fight, play, succeed, drink...to
excess…to belong to that class of manly Americans. Power suits, power
meetings, power lifts, power drinks, power lunches, power drills, power steering...
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, It’s Superman!

In
Europe, many straight men can cook. It is a great thing to be able to welcome
people and prepare a meal that everyone loves. But in America, cooking is
a woman’s job. (Except for outdoor grilling which, because of fire and
raw meat, conjours up images of cavemen. "Move over ladies...this is
a man's job.")

Real
men, just sit there and eat. They don’t even help clean up the dishes
because it's woman’s work. But what really is happening is, they are
ruled by their fear of looking weak, so somehow even the act of NOT doing
the dishes, is a message to all, "I AM A MAN... I DON'T DO DISHES!"
Men are kings, waited on by their servants…their mothers, wives, girlfriends
and daughters.

There
is a subliminal and subtle prejudice of anything feminine.
Of course the hatred for transgender folks is even worse. Men who appear as
women are looked on with laughter and ridicule, yet women who look like men
are not even noticed. Women with short hair, flat shoes, slacks...are practical.
Less feminine is good, more masculine is better.

They
believe that all gay men are effeminate, that is why they are surprised when
they find out that someone they know is gay, because in their minds..."he
doesn't act gay". Act gay? What does that mean? Does every straight man
act like a WWF Wrestler? No. They don't realize that most gay men are just
like them with no affectations, no lisps, and no swinging hips.

They
just can't stand the idea of a feminine man.

These
same insecure boys grow up to become lawyers, politicians, preachers and ministers
and use their power unapologetically to attack us and get other people to
attack us. It's the good ole boy behavior, the boy’s club that keeps
alive gay prejudice. Besides, it confirms to their wives, girlfriends, buddies,
and co-workers that, "I'm not gay! I'm so NOT gay that I will make laws
to make gays miserable."

They work in high places to take away basic human rights from us GLBT people.
The ultimate male control...to make laws against us to keep us in line. It’s
easy to bash a minority that no one supports. Gay jokes get guaranteed laughs
and make you the hit of the party. And of course to sympathize with gay people
might mean YOU are really GAY…so best to shut up.

Childish,
immature, unjust, uncivilized and barbaric, but “who cares, as long
as I look straight!"

And why are so many Americans so smug about their arrogance towards GLBT bias?
Because they have people who agree with them. A mob. A mob who pats them on
the back for throwing rocks at us, laughing all the way. America is ruled
by the "herd mentality". If you don't think like us, then you must
be one of them!

And
it’s a fact that people will criticize anything that doesn’t involve
them. Anything we don’t do or that doesn’t jive with who we think
we are…we find fault with. We all have self-centered perspectives that
work to put down our opposites and fight to preserve ourselves at the expense
of others, making negative stereotypes and demonizing our opponents. Whether
a race, nation, sports team or political group, everyone criticizes the other
guy: Rich vs. Poor, Conservatives vs. Liberals, Men vs. Women, Blacks vs.
Whites, Christians vs. non-Christian... Straights vs. Gays. It's a self-preservation
technique that all humans use to survive, forming groups and making enemies.
All people do this, but it is humanity at its worst.

And
what about some American heterosexual women?

Well
some homophobic women may not accept gay men for another reason. We are not
available to them. How many times have women learned that a man they were
attracted to was gay, only to retort from their bruised egos, “What
a waste!”

And
I once heard a woman who encountered a group of gay men, say in astonishment…“I
felt invisible. No one paid any attention to me!” She was prejudiced
because she was sexually ignored!

But
most homophobic women can't accept gay people because of the same reason that
straight homophobic men can't accept gay people; because we are not like them
and do not participate in their same games and rituals. And since we don't
do the things that they do, they can't understand us...we are different. We
are aliens. We are against nature.

But
why would some women object?

Women
may like that men are more feminine: kinder, gentler, more understanding...
at the same time, they perceive feminine men to be weak. And it is one thing
to be friends with a feminine man and another thing to marry a feminine man.

Again
the perception is weakness. They want their man STRONG. And if anyone is going
to be feminine, it will be them, not other men. Some people want their boundaries
well defined and gay men and women blur that line.

But
there are exceptions of many women who ARE accepting of gay men because many
of us think more like them. They can relate and talk to us, while many women
can't talk to their own husbands or boyfriends because for men, talking about
feelings is well...too sensitive and too feminine.

For
awhile there, it was great that girls were like guys. Tomboys were fun and
just like one of the guys. But now that America has gotten wind that some
women who dress and act like guys might be lesbian…"Well that’s
different".

Some
straight men have sexual fantasies about lipstick lesbians…so why is
there no problem there? But then again, is it perhaps that lesbians are not
interested in straight men? Or because they find that some lesbians are better
at doing things than they are? There are some lesbians who can not only fix
a sink, but win a kickboxing tournament.

And
of course, heterosexual couples are against gay people because well, if they
have a child who might be gay, they won’t have grandchildren, depriving
them of their fantasy family life as well as bringing shame to them and their
good name. Having a gay child is an embarrassment.

So
because it doesn’t work to their advantage, we are despised. We are
harassed and denied rights because there are NO BENEFITS for them. They don't
have any reason to support us because basically, they don't get anything in
return. Why bother with gay people. "What's in it for me?" That
is why they won't condone the "gay lifestyle". (As if we need their
approval to be ourselves.) And because we do not physically participate in
the heterosexual way to make a family...they accuse us of being AGAINST the
family! Ridiculous.

And
to have a gay child is the ultimate humiliation for them. The parents of the
gay child go into their own closet because they will lose their place in their
club. “What will the neighbors think?” Of course the father blames
the mother because their child is gay, she must have feminized the child.
“It's your fault that he's a mama's boy!” Or
the father blames himself for a gay son..."I should have played more
ball with him when he was young." (Like playing ball makes a child straight?)

We
are an embarrassment to our self-centered parents. And some parents kick their
own child out of the family, because we make them look bad. "No child
of mine, could be gay!"

So,
why do homophobic Americans hate us? Because they selfishly are protecting
their own interests and that involves destroying ours. Because we are not
like them, they dismiss our lives, doing everything they can to keep us out
of their schools, neighborhoods, work places and churches, making rules, regulations
and laws to make sure we stay out.

Much
of it is based on fear, that if we gay people have our way, we will somehow
take over, and surround them, and there will no longer be a straight world!
Well calm down, there is and will always be plenty of straight people to keep
the world going. No one is trying to take anything away from you. We respect
straight society, straight marriage and the biological family. But we just
want to be included, respected and allowed to live peacefully and with integrity,
without the fear of being gawked at, judged, bashed and denied our humanity...continously.

The
same prejudice used against Blacks and Jews and other minorities...is still
alive in us GLBT people. Americans have progressed some in civil rights…but
are we really that far ahead or just more clever in how we hide our prejudices?

Of
course homophobic Christians deny that it has anything to do with that. They
shout that homosexuality is against God, against the Bible, it is not natural,
yada, yada.

"The
Bible is CLEAR...homosexuality is a SIN!"

Well,
I say..."The Bible is VERY CLEAR...“Do not judge, so that you
may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and
the measure you give will be the measure you get."- Matthew 7:1-2

Whatever
their reasoning...they are practicing prejudice, stereotyping, bias and bashing,
which is something Jesus Christ (in the Bible) taught against! They can't
seem to see that they're breaking Jesus' basic teachings by judging us, looking
down on us, making us outcasts and ganging up against us just as the Pharisees
treated people they viewed as "sinners." These Christians all say
they are following Jesus, but they conveniently forget that Jesus welcomed
all these outcasts without reservations. Jesus spent not His ministry
screaming at "sinners", but loving and accepting them. It was the
Pharisees He screamed at for the way they perverted God's message, judging
all those around them and making God unattainable, yet they themselves living
in gross hypocrisy.

A
Christian man today is even thought to have integrity by standing up against
the perceived sin of gay people. Such a man is branded righteous. They practice
“righteous prejudice.”

There
is on record the unnamed televangelist (who was caught with a prostitute and
asked for forgiveness) stated that he would KILL any gay man who approached
him. Real Christian behavior from a “Man of God” who proudly admits
he will break one of the Ten Commandments of God and think that God will justify
it.

Many
homophobic straight Christians justify their discrimination saying WE are
disobeying God, but if they are so against us because we are breaking the
commandments of God, why are they not using that same fury and rage towards
their own brands of immorality?

Teenagers
are having non-stop premarital sex, there is a 50% divorce rate, 50% (or more)
cheating rate. Adult sex runs rampant in our society as a healthy way to find
each other's soul mate and I don't hear any "Focus on Family" groups
screaming about that or making laws to make unwed sex a crime or laws to stop
divorce (the real danger to marriage) or even laws to ban porn from the internet
or sex and violence on TV. Why? Because that would mean all their friends,
families, co-workers, pastors and church members would be in their line of
attack. And that would make them VERY UNPOPULAR. And no one wants to make
premarital sex, divorce or remarrying against the law, because...what if their
own marriage doesn't work out? Or their teenage kid might get caught having
sex with another teen...and I know every red-blooded American male, Christian
or nonChristian...takes an occasional peek at internet porn...and what would
we watch if they stopped all the killing, sex and adultery on our soap operas
and TV shows...so...we'll just keep our mouths shut about lust, fornication,
adultery, remarrying and divorce. Besides, "God will forgive me and my
family, we're Christians."

But
homosexuals...they're an abomination to God!

So
the real reason that homophobic people can’t relate to us is because
we are not like them, we are a small minority…so therefore…we
are NOT normal but perverse. They stick to their convictions and justify
their prejudice, yet the average American doesn’t even know ANY gay
person personally.

We
are the BOOGIE MAN. The new punching bag.

They
believe the stereotypes about us and make judgments and think God supports
them. They have embraced bias, prejudice, injustice and vote on laws preventing
gay people any rights to happiness going against what America stands for:
the pursuit of happiness...liberty and justice for all...unless you are gay.

The
church has become the leader in its fight to destroy the lives of gay people
because we are the enemy. Somehow now, according to another famous Christian
televangelist…we are the cause of terrorist attacks, tsunamis, earthquakes,
and floods!!!

Really?!
Wow, who knew we had so much power!

But
then I hear that these loudmouthed televangelists don't represent the feelings
of the majority of Christians, but if this is true...why DON'T they speak
up about it? They are tight lipped not wanting to offend their own, but in
the course they have offended and ostracized the gay community, an entire
population of people who need Jesus Christ.

No
one wants to side with gay people because others might THINK they are gay,
sinful, or a supporter of sinful people, but again I will say...Jesus was
a supporter of sinful people...ALL OF US, gay, straight or otherwise.

And
they are so proud to be Americans. America the land where you can be yourself
and not be persecuted...and then they persecute us.

So
I say to those Christian Americans who justify their cold, judgmental and
unrighteous behavior towards us, I will remind them of the words of Jesus:
"...'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of
these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' "
- Matthew 25:40

So
though most American Christians pride themselves as being moral, fair-minded,
intelligent and godly people of integrity; they are really running on their
prejudices, fears and insecurities, stroking their egocentric sense of superiority
and manipulated by peer pressure more than they are on Jesus Christ, who taught
that prejudice of any kind has no place in the life of any humble servant
of God.