I have been very accident prone lately, always too much in a bloody hurry! Two in a fortnight.
First off, I didn't shut the freezer properly and the next morn, the top shelf which had three tubs of Haagan Daaz lying sideways, melted all over the shelves of food underneath and seeped all over and under the fridge freezer and set like glue on the floor. I had to throw out all the defrosted stuff, save some bits and then had a big cleaning job to do. Managed to scrape my arm on a shelf and cut myself twice! So instead of two separate plasters I did one big one. I had a visitor coming too, (always has to happen then, eh!) and he said 'What happened to your arm?' I said 'Oh that's where I inject the heroin, obviously..'
Good job he knows my dark humour! Haha!
Then a few days later, I was lighting a big candle (again, this accident no2 happened when I was expecting a visitor) and I managed to drop it on top of the oil burner, it bounced off and fell on top of my glass apple (as seen on a photo) and smashed it! My apple! I really liked that ornament. Shards flew everywhere and as I had bare feet, yes you can guess the next bit, I lept onto a shard and it pierced the sole of my foot! Oooyah bugger! I was hopping about shreiking and had to hop around bleeding, till I found the tweezers to pull it out. I had to make sure the shards were all found before my visitor arrived.
Does anyone else have these dramas whilst getting ready for action?

I'm sorry, I know all this is tragic, but it's also very, very funny. It reminds me of a sequence from The Money Pit (Tom Hanks), or Mouse Hunt (Lee Evans) or one of the Pink Panther movies, where accidents ripple off like dominoes. Do you have what it takes to be the next Inspector Clouseau? Get your trenchcoat and go audition!

These two incidents do sound the sort of thing that might have been part of a Brian Rix Whitehall farce, but please be careful - you know what they say about things coming in threes?javascript:emoticon(':-?')

You were unlucky with the freezer - at one of my offices someone left the freezer door open and it was so bloody efficient it froze the whole interior of the fridge, cracking bottles and freezing butter, cheese, milk and bread. That was interesting to clear up too.....

My best-worst accident was giving myself a black eye from pleasuring myself on a silk quilt cover. Forgot about this one...
As any visitor knows, all my bed decor is some form of red silky quilted throw type thingys, and this particular one had a fitted sheet with it. NEVER ever put a silky sheet under a silky top cover!
You can shoot across rooms faster than if you had been shot out of a cannon! Silky sheets-they're just wrong!
So with my lone wiggling action reaching fruition, this is what happened!
I was lost in the moment and before I could stop myself, I was flying towards a near table corner, head first, all tangled up in quiltiness.
Yes, the eyebrow caught the edge and I had a black eye the next day! Could have been worse, could have been my eyeball.
Had to cancel my visitors for the next few days! Imagine explaining that one? ' No it wasn't a bad man, it was a masturbating accident.'
So that was the most expensive orgasm in the world.

Glass apple pics...ooh the one on top left! Exactly mines! I will have to purchase that.

My apologies for the bump, but this seemed the most sensible place to post.

Yes, accidents will happen, as I have found out. Last week, an hour into our liaison, a lovely lady managed to stand on my foot while still wearing her heels. I think she was more concerned why I had that pained expression on my face at the time, until the penny dropped. Another incident came years ago while a GF (at the time) was removing some clothing a bit too eagerly. Lets just say her knee met my nose with some force. OUCH!

Luckily in both cases no real harm done, although it could have been difficult to explain if circumstances were different.

Pat Benetar sang that "love is a battlefield". I wasnt expecting it to be quite so literal.