KDs are designed/developed/inspired/mused/auto-suggested/indigested to make folks think; an especially uncommon experience among Democrats, Republicans, and jingoistic mainline denominationalists who continue to discourage dissent with their ever-threatening thought police.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

December 16, 2008

It's been colder than America's relationship with Republicans in Northern Illinois over the past 48 hours.

It's so cold that I put out a bucket of hot water to wash my car windows, went back into the house, came back out, and the water froze so quickly that the ice was still warm.

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

Sorry.

@#$%

Grandpa Jacob comes to mind because he's the inspiration for those lame attempts at humor in the previous section.

He went home to Jesus when I still had a motorcycle and didn't have to beg people to use our website to google or buy books from those Amazoners so I can get another one before the parousia.

My favorite story, a metaphor for mainliners and everyone else exercising ostrich ecclesiology/politics, comes from Grandpa Jacob who told it to me every night before bedtime on 59-26 Grove Street in the Ridgewood section of NYC.

Anyway, Mutt and Jeff decide to build a soundproof room to make their fortune.

After completing it, they test it.

Jeff goes into the room, closes the door, and Mutt calls out, "Can you hear me?"

"No," Jeff responds.

@#$%

Speaking of folks who turn off the truth in favor of fantasies substituting for realities, I predicted the PCUSA - a typical mainline denomination for sideliners - would invite Jeremiah Wright to speak at its biennial big meeting aka General Assembly last summer; recalling how they embraced Angela Davis when she was pooping on America and traditional values.

Two publishers wouldn't print my prediction because they said it was over the top, cynical, sarcastic, obnoxious, fictitious, hyperbolic, hysterical, and just plain awful.

Round one.

He didn't speak at the PCUSA's GA last summer.

Round two.

Yesterday, I received my copy - maybe last one - of McCormick Notes (Fall/Winter 2008); which is the PR rag of Chicago's McCormick Theological Seminary which is one of the PCUSA's official seminaries or educational/spiritual institutions called/dedicated to nurturing women and men with a beruf to honor Jesus in a Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 kinda way.

Guess who is featured on page 9?

Heeeeee's baaaaaack!

When our pastor for children and youth saw it, he exclaimed, "We're always doing our best to make new friends."

@#$%

I wrote to MTS:

Dear ___,

Though I am not an alumnus of Chicago's McCormick Theological Seminary, I have appreciated receiving McCormick Notes.

I was rather stunned by the timing of featuring Jeremiah Wright in your Fall/Winter 2008 issue which arrived today (12/15/08): "Learn Something About Their Story. That's Your Job."

Back in the summer, I joked with friends about our denomination (PCUSA) inviting him to speak to our General Assembly as continuing evidence of our thanatos libido.

While these particular excerpts from his presentations at McCormick last spring as part of the Paul Allen Lectures are rather innocuous, I'm puzzled by the motivation for publishing his comments at this time.

Regardless, I appreciate being on your mailing list; and you certainly caught my attention with this edition.

Blessings and Love!

Response: "Thank you for reaching out and reading! The timing was simply a matter of adjusting our publication date to coincide with another project. We ran an excerpt for the published article on our website some time ago and just haven't had the opportunity to run it in print until now. Fortunately, the subjects of our conversation were 'timeless' issues so I think it worked well."

Huh?

@#$%

Admittedly, aside from the excerpts being mostly innocuous which may be a part of some kinda image rehab program, one caught my attention in a very positive way: "Don't buy into the stereotypes. Learn something about their story. That's your job."

Truth - that word again - is Jeremiah Wright is not as bad as crackers say nor as good as people who hate America and traditional values assume.

A mentor and continuing inspiration from New Jersey knows him personally; and says he's a much nicer guy than I've reported.

I guess that's why I like that quote in the first sentence of this section.

Speaking of stereotypes, did you catch Saturday's SNL sketch on New York Governor David Paterson?

It pokes fun at Paterson who is blind and has a notorious reputation as a womanizer and drug abuser; not to mention his predecessor who resigned because he was deeply into, uh, hookers.

Parenthetically, am I the only one who thinks America's sociopoliticoreligio culture has become just one big sitcom?

Be that as it was/is, Fred Armisen's Paterson - he also does a good PBHO - talks with Amy and Seth about his prerogative to replace Senator Clinton who's now cozy in PBHO's Cabinet and provides three prerequisites for her successor: economic experience, upstate influence, and somebody with a disability who is as unprepared for the job as he was when he took over for the last, uh, John.

Staying on hyper-sensitivities, Charles Barkley ripped his alma mater for picking an European-American over an African-American as Auburn's new football coach: "I think race was the #1 factor...You can say it's not about race, but you can't compare the two resumes and say Chizik deserved the job over Gill. Out of all the coaches they interviewed, Chizik probably had the worst resume."

Calls to Notre Dame for a complementary comment were not returned.

Keith Ubermacht and Rachel Maddening blamed GWB while Chris Matthews felt that strange tingle coming up or down his leg again and reported PBHO will heal, uh, everyone/everything.

Speaking of PBHO, what a relief to hear an internal investigation by PBHO's staff proves no inappropriate behavior on his part in Illinois' Blago mess.

BTW, anyone see or hear from the Jacksons or Rehm lately?

Word on the streets is U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald's life insurance policy has expired.

@#$%

And so we close another KD with a tribute to Blago and all of those Chicago miscreants who are not PBHO's comrades or connected to him in any way other than affection for the Bears: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9Gjd_EAa64.