For Reasons Unknown, DeShawn Stevenson Has An ATM In His Kitchen

My first thought upon seeing this photo of an oddly-dressed DeShawn Stevenson posing next to his personal ATM machine was that nothing pictured in it really surprised me. Then I simply wondered, why? While it may seem like a stupid question—to draw money, duh!—most people just go to the bank to do that. Who even thinks to actually put a money machine inside of their kitchen? I suppose those with as much disposable income as DeShawn Stevenson probably think a little differently than we regular folks do, but maybe there’s deeper reasoning behind the mysterious placement of this ATM.

What if everything in DeShawn Stevenson’s kitchen costs money? Being a young, crazy, rich dude, one would assume Stevenson has a lot of house guests. Could his refrigerator be more like a vending machine? For instance, say you visit DeShawn’s home (something I’d love to do after seeing this photograph), and you feel a bit parched. You’d probably like a nice, cold glass of orange juice. Well, at DeShawn Stevenson’s house, orange juice costs a dollar. In case you don’t have a dollar to give DeShawn Stevenson, you can hit up the ATM on the other side of the room.

Even if DeShawn isn’t collecting a few extra bucks as a vendor during his own house parties, maybe the ATM serves another purpose. Could Stevenson have become tired of serving as a human bank? Behind every rich dude there seems to be a gathering of so-called friends looking to pick up some spare change, so maybe this is Stevenson’s way of letting his groupies know that they best be prepared to hit up their own bank accounts when they hang with him. DeShawn Stevenson is familiar with Antoine Walker, people, and he isn’t trying to play in Puerto Rico when he retires.

Or, maybe it’s a special ATM that dispenses Monopoly-type money? Imagine how cool it would be if DeShawn Stevenson’s home was like an arcade, and it contained items priced in a unique currency featuring his own face on the money. Yeah, now you really want to visit his house, don’t you?

Official –Swag-O-Meter– Rating:

4/5

Whatever the case may be, I think it’s safe to say the possibilities relating to this ATM enter into a realm above and beyond conventional banking. I mean, this is DeShawn Stevenson we’re talking about, here. From tattoos to household decor, the man doesn’t do anything conventionally. Kinda makes you wonder what the hell else he’s got in his house…