Is Red Bull’s Neptune Steps the strangest swimming race in the world?

Bisected by the coast-to-coast Forth and Clyde Canal, this was once a thriving economic hub, where iron workers and sawyers mixed with boat builders and glass blowers; where exotic goods from across the British Empire flowed in, and the cold, hard products of booming Scottish industry flowed out.

It feels like someone is there with a firehose, spraying water down your throat

Today, Maryhill is a concrete skeleton of its former self. Owing to a sickly combination of poor housing, ill health and high unemployment, the district once known to locals as the Venice of the North has since been recognised as one of the most deprived areas in the UK. It is not, on a chilly morning in the dying days of winter, somewhere you would expect to find an elite gathering of 200 aquatic athletes competing for a most unusual sporting prize: the Red Bull Neptune Steps Trident.

Now entering its second year, the Red Bull Neptune Steps race has brought together a collection of international triathletes, topflight swimmers and a surprisingly large number of dedicated adventure racers. The only event of its kind to take place anywhere in the world – and the self-proclaimed “toughest open water swimming race in the UK” – competitors are plunged into the icy embrace of the Forth and Clyde Canal before being made to race upstream and uphill. If the water itself – cold enough to elicit a burning sensation on exposed flesh – wasn’t enough of a challenge, there’s the added proviso of having to manoeuvre over the cargo nets, ropes and ladders of a total of eight obstacle-laden locks standing between you and victory.

Measuring in at 420m in length, and climbing 18m from start to finish, the course demands an out-and-out sprint – and for the finalists, more than just the one. The top 10 finishers from each of five morning heats will progress to two semi-finals, with the top 10 competitors from each of those earning their place in the afternoon’s finale.

A SINKING FEELING

Today, the obstacle course enthusiasts and weekend warriors are out in force. Drawn down from the surrounding housing estates to the usually quiet canalside by the bizarre sight of 200 neoprene-clad athletes, they cheer gamely from the banks. In the canal, the finalists are treading water at the start line, feverishly paddling their arms, desperate to stay warm ahead of the last race of the day. Among them are athletes who have contested international triathlon competitions and, in the case of Mark Deans, 21, contribute to the British Open Water Swimming squad. As the klaxon sounds, the crowd – a mix of Red Bull-swigging participants and lager-swilling locals – leans over the canal to cheer on the 20 finalists.

The men morph into a wave of flailing rubber and churning white water as theyfight their way toward the first obstacle, a cargo net hanging from the top of a centuries-old lock gate. “This is the hardest part,” says Adam Egerblom, 42, as the first athletes pull themselves onto the net. An experienced swimmer who’s represented Sweden in events of varying distances, including ice swimming, Egerblom flew over especially for this year’s competition but failed to secure a place in the final. Despite his experience, speaking to him canalside is to glean the sense that he’s dodged a bullet by finding himself on dry land for the final foray. “There’s this rapid stream of water bursting through the cracks in the lock,” he says. “You get it in your face, in your mouth – you’re struggling to breathe and it feels like someone is there with a firehose, spraying water down your throat.”

By the third lock, Poseidon’s Pass – a 4m-high wooden ladder – a leading group of six athletes has pulled away from the rest of the field. Among them is 21-year-old pre-race favourite Con Doherty, who competes for Ireland in the ITU Triathlon Series – the Champions League of the swim-bike-run game – and who won bronze at the Junior World Championships. Doherty will go on to finish fifth in today’s final. Because as fit as they might be, there’s one thing for which few of the 200 people competing today, Doherty included, were prepared.

“It’s the cold,” says Doherty after the race, speaking through chattering teeth, while failing to pry his wetsuit off his forearms with numb, bloodless fingers. “That’s the most challenging part of it, the actual temperature of the water. It’s 9ºC. Most open water swim races won’t go ahead if it’s below 15ºC! If you have low body fat, it really does affect you.” The course may be short, but it is brutal, he insists. “The obstacles really break up your rhythm. Swimming is normally a repetitive, monotonous thing, but here, you’re constantly having to interrupt your rhythm and engage a whole different set of muscles. And then even if you’re a good swimmer, you need coordination and strength to tackle the obstacles. It’s utterly exhausting. You get across the line and you’re in tatters.”

A BIGGER SPLASH

In the latter stages of the race, with three obstacles and less than 100m to go, one man glides through the water ahead of the chasing pack, his bobbing white swim cap glowing like a beacon in the glossy gasoline blackness of the canal. Word spreads among the locals lining the course that last year’s winner Deans – who grew up only 20 minutes away in Jordanhill – is moments from taking the title once more. Accordingly, the cheers rise to an ear-splitting volume.

Deans hoists himself from handhold to slippery handhold over a 3m-high climbing wall before diving from the top of the lock straight back into the biting cold water below and sprinting to a well-earned victory. The crowd erupts, spilling a peculiar cocktail of Tennent’s and taurine into the Forth and Clyde.

The champion soaks up the ovation, the well-earned product of his extensive pool-based training, including a daily 4.30am alarm call and 10 two-hour sessions every week. It’s an awful lot of effort to put into a race that was over in under six minutes (5m47s to be precise). “I normally race over 10km, even 25km for up to five and a half hours at a time, so a six-minute sprint is not what I’m used to,” says the softly spoken Scot, towelling himself down before the presentation ceremony. “But I am used to the cold.” His broad shoulders and barrel chest speak to the thousands of hours he has devoted to developing his body to mimic that of a powerful marine mammal.

As the late afternoon sun dips behind the neighbouring high-rise tower, causing a giant shadow to fall across the course, Deans is clearly buoyed by the warmth and energy this event has brought to an area he knows so well. “I never saw anybody without a smile on their face. This is a totally unique event. There’s nothing else like it.”

Needless to say, Deans will be back when the event returns next year, no doubt lining up against an increasing number of competitors of higher calibre. For now, Deans wrings his wetsuit out over the canal, slips on jeans, a hoodie and a baseball cap, and walks over to meet a group of friends who came to cheer him on. On Monday morning, it’s back to the pool for training. Tonight, though, he’s earned his pint.

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