I love Wheeling in all forms. Maybe because it was the first real “city” I knew. Maybe because it’s where I got my start on this crazy newspaper path. Maybe because it’s like no other place on earth.

Today’s blog post is dedicated to two screen grabs from the local media.

Award for “Best Headline of the Week”

Wait … Sensei?!

BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!!

Death isn’t funny. However, the word “sensei” in a headline? Comedy gold.

And next, the award for “Most Unfortunate Web Illustration”

I realize there’s no really good way to illustrate child pornography. I get that. I also get that it’s probably hard to illustrate “Mom’s-Basement-Dweller Should Be Killed By Rabid Pack of Wolves.” But come ON, WTRF. Really? Really? This is what you’ve got. You illustrate your child porn store with a picture of a child … holding a teddy bear … wearing a night shirt. I’d try to avoid this one down the road. Maybe no illustration. Or a picture of Mom’s-Basement-Dweller himself. Just a thought for next time.

I found this letter to the publisher on PutnamLive.com, which is one of my favorite Web sites in the world. It’s based in Hurricane, W.Va., and published by a guy who routinely inserts snide, pointless commentary into his pee-your-pants funny “news” stories (namely against his political “enemies” or anyone he feels has wronged him, and it appears, well, that EVERYBODY has wronged him). It’s not really credible. It’s more entertaining than anything. If you’re in need of a pick-me-up, I highly recommend his questionably-mentally-stable blog about how the city built a Wal-Mart next to his house. (My favorite passage ever is this: A note to politicians: The next time I am awakened at 3:33 a.m. I will consider CALLING YOU TO EXERCISE MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS TO REDRESS MY GOVERNMENT FOR GRIEVANCES… And the First Amendment doesn’t preclude a call at 3:33 a.m. If you continue to allow my family to be disrupted at 3:33 a.m., I will consider calling you THEN and complain. If you don’t like that, at least I am warning you IN WRITING, IN ADVANCE!)

Whaaa? My Constitution must be broken.

(Note to publisher in case you see this and get some bright idea to try to sue me: I have two cats, a busted up Toyota Camry and some broken lawn furniture. That’s about all you’d get out of me. It wouldn’t be worth your time. It isn’t like I’ve got thousands of readers. And, hey, it’s you who puts it out there for the world to read, right?)

So, I saw this letter to the publisher about the mayor of Hurricane, who is one of the publisher’s “enemies” so naturally, it gets published without any efforts to try to track down the mayor’s side. However, because of the absolute trainwreck of spelling and grammar, I can’t really figure out what she’s saying. I turn to you …

Hurricane Mayor Scott Edwards Is A Disgrace
I am ashamed to say that he calls himself the mayor, what a disgrace. This man came flying around the front of Arby’s trying to beat me to the drive thru and came to close for comfort, if I had not slammed on the break, we would have not been so lucky, Saturday Oct. 18th afternoon. I paid no more attention to the idiot until he whipped around the other car that just placed his order and parked caddie corner in front of him. The elderly gentlemen honked his horn (in his head to say move on or what are you doing) But this rude and crude and not so big as he thinks man jumps out of his black shiny Suburban all red face and shouting to this elderly gentlemen who was the driver he jump in front of asking him to step out of the car for a fight, HE WAS THE MAYOR, he said proudly, come on get out here let’s fight. The younger gentlemen that was a passenger stepped out, face to face, nose to nose the big brave mayor only continue to shout, “I’m the mayor, I can have you arrested, You want me to call the cops, I’m the mayor you know, I can do that.” The younger gentleman just stood there face to face saying “Come on, go ahead.”

I was so ashamed of that man being our mayor, I stuck my head out the window and said “If you call the cops on him you better call the cops on me, because you are a disgrace to the city, and you should be ashamed.” All I got was a dirty look.

His wife started howling for him to get back in the car, but he paid no attention to her either, imagine that! Finally his wife hopped out of the vehicle and continually tried to coax him back in the vehicle, which she did succeed.

All this turned out to be was that Arby’s left a few things out of his order. Wow that happens all the time to people, the best thing to do is to park the car walk inside and say excuse me but……… I can’t even imagine what he did or say to that poor young girl at the drive thru.

I’ve been told after telling this story to a few people I know, I have come to find out he’s done this quite a few times at other places. This needs to be published for all to see and then maybe he’ll change his way or best yet he needs to be put out of that position.

Tara Hicks
Hurricane

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

I mean, I’m not a genius. I wouldn’t even call myself “really intelligent.” I’m just putting this out here … Is the pokey worth taking a stand at a Waffle House? It was $7.45. And your expectations couldn’t have been that high to begin with. I mean, really. Is the kind of crap you get at Waffle House worth 60 days in the pokey if you decide you’re not paying for it?