Sunday, June 12, 2011

Week 8--belly full of pita, yogurt and LOVE for you all! (thanks Mimi for a great title!)

Week 8! Can you believe it? Just think of it! Eight weeks ago I was crawling into bed to take my very first yoga class at teacher training which would kill me and make me question if I would ever make it through nine weeks in the hottest ballroom in the world. Tonight, I'm in bed, belly full, a little wired, and a lotta happy getting ready to take my very last Monday morning yoga class. I remember the first class, the heat hit me like a wall, the mirrors were fogged from the haze of 130 degrees 40 percent humidity and 430 yogis, Bikram's energy charged through me and I sat in envy of the two air conditioned blowers that blew down to cool him as he yelled to us "Push, push push...push more push harder..." Tonight, I have no anxiety for my next yoga class. Two a day on 3-5 hours of sleep has become my reality and I look forward to sweating and stretching 8 more times with my 430 new friends from 38 countries around the world.

So this week my sister wrote me a nice, long e-mail. In our crazy, life changing lives with nine hours time difference between us it is hard for us to catch up and really get a gist of what is going on in each other's lives, so her e-mail was refreshing. It asked me to reflect on my expierence, the things that I have learned from being here, about my self, not about yoga, and the three things I plan to do as soon as I get home. So that is what I want to share with you this week, I'll tell you some highlights and lowlights in a bit, but first I want to get into the deep 'ish, because to understand how amazing week 8 is, you have to understand that this week I truly appreciated this journey "inside out, bones to skin, finger tip to toes" I'm going to share you the edited version of what I wrote to my sis, some of it is for her eyes only...that's what makes having a sister so special, sister secrets (don't worry mom, she usually tells you anyway...and Alex I always tell you!)

So wow, this expierence. Well, first of all I am so proud of my self for doing it, It took a lot of courage to give up a very " comfortable" life aka income to do something that I knew would point me in a direction towards my dreams. It has been amazingly hard. The truth is, surprisingly my issues and my sick voice was louder than ever here. So what does that mean? Every day I struggle, there is not a single day in my life that is easy for me to be free of the things I fight against, but I love my life so much now, so at home it is really easy to say to myself why the hell would I ever give this life up to go back to living the way I did, so shut up ugly voice, I'm gonna go cuddle with my boyfriend. So the first few weeks here, it was really hard. I was constantly beating my self up and judging. Luckily we have no time, so I didn't have to much time to get upset, i just kept pushing. I had amazing moments of self realization and happiness and at times I cried out of complete joy and pride. Because I know that I have worked so hard to be here and I am so proud of myself for becoming such a strong person and I truly believe that I'm in the process of creating the life that I want to have and how can I not be happy and really, when I stop comparing myself to others and who I think I "should be", I really do think I'm a pretty cool person. I feel like i have a gift and this is the first step to teach me how to share that gift So what am I taking away, well 1. self appreciation, 2. so much knowledge about the importance of keeping your body healthy so that you are keeping your mind and your spirit happy, it's an understanding that your body is a temple that holds your spirit, so take care of it, keep it clean and strong, because you want your spirit to want to live inside of this body for a long long time. 3. I made amazing friends and I found out even more the kind of people I like to surround my self around. 4 I found out I love to write, I love my blog, and it inspires me to home and write my book! 4. I have a deeper understanding of what I want to do with my future (i.e. which nutrition program I'm going to do and what I want to do with it) 5. there is so much really, but of course I seriously appreciate my life at home, I love our family I love Alex, and my house and philadelphia and I can't wait to bring all of this new awareness back there with me!

That's a little bit of what I took from this expierence I guess, I feel like there is so much and I can't wait to answer that question again in a few months after I have some time to reflect on it a little bit more.

And OH MY GOD I can't wait to go home! I can't wait for a proper date with Alex and serious cuddle time on the couch! I teach on Wednesday 2 classses! I'm so excited! Top three things to do! 1. Cuddle time (lots of it) 2. sleep and then wake up and move to the couch to sleep some more 3. Eat good meals, meals I cooked in a Kitchen!!!!! and of course go to Vietnam Cafe (our fav)

What I wrote to my sister was the truth. I struggled for a really long time and my struggle found me strength and here and now that I'm ending my time inside this bubble, I have found appreciation for myself, my life and my dreams. I am so very excited to see what tomorrow brings, because I know I have survived a lot and life can throw a lot at me, and although it may not be easy and days may be hard, I'll be ok, I'll be more than ok...

Ok ok...enough already, you guys are probably sick of my rambling and want to hear some of the fun stuff about week 8, so here is a quick run down. You can decide for yourselves if they were high points or low...

1 comment:

Happy MOnday Molls! And Happy final week! Your blog entries have made me love Monday mornings and today's was no exception. You write with the perfect blend of honesty and humor.....and good editing skills :)Love you lots!!! xoxox