Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

Can we be HAPPY???

I posted this a long time ago and it was well received this is for any new people or anyone that mist it earlier this year it is interesting.

Psychologists believes that happiness is within everyone's grasp. How To Be Happy

Using data from psychological tests and EEG brain scans, they concluded: "What these results show is that the happiness training not only changes the way you feel, it actually changes the way your brain functions."

The female/male ratio is 3 to 1, and my fellow participants range in age from the 30s to 70s. It included businessmen, a cancer survivor, a nurse, a policeman and a musician. Our unhappiness levels range from a woman who witnessed her parents and husband commit suicide, to a corporate woman who has an obsession with how many floors people have in their homes (when she's stressed, she drives around Cities counting floors).

They start by asking: "Will this course make you happy? The honest answer is no. Because nothing or no one can make you happy."
They turn positive thinking upside down, telling us that happiness is not the absence of sadness. More, it is the capacity to embrace our sadness and understand it. "You will never be happy as long as you are afraid of your sadness. You don't have to learn to like your unhappiness - but you do have to learn not to be afraid of it.

"If you're running away from unhappiness, people won't believe in your smile." The key message is that it is not self-improvements that will make us happy, but self-acceptance.

"Classically, people believe that if they improve themselves enough, they will be happy. But we can never improve enough.
"We are turning into a society of destination addicts. Self-acceptance is key. Unless you're happy with yourself, you will not be happy with who you're with or what you've got."

For two days they defined our concepts of happiness and unhappiness. They paired off for exercises like the cheesy New Age practice of looking in a mirror and answering, "What do I see?" (Mainly how old and exhausted I look.)?

They explain the difference between who we really are and who we think we are: our "essential self" as opposed to our "self-concepts".
They warn that self-image can be extremely detrimental to happiness. Often, we allow our "story" about who we think we are to become our identity. "You can try to change your thoughts, but they are driven by your identity. If you want to change your thinking, change your identity."

It suddenly clicked when a lady introducing herself, She always says: "I am a single mother." And, with that, she underlines her singleness and broadcast all my negative judgments about herself.
In front of the group, they made me go through my emotional responses to being a single mother. First came my anger; then beneath it lay heartbreak; then exhaustion; then my aloneness, and finally the paralyzing fear of letting someone else in. She started sobbing uncontrollably.

She honestly hadn't realized until then that she deliberately keep herself single because she felt so ashamed of her personal past - a marriage that didn't work, then a child with a man who left her - that she daren't risk another relationship for fear of making another mistake. I had no idea how much private shame I carry, and how deeply I punish myself.

"You must let go of your hope for a better past" something released inside. I fell unbelievably drained but buoyant. As if I've re-ignited hope, learning how to bring abundance into our lives, and, spookily, this stuff is working.

We should do a daily gratitude journal but it's amazing how writing down everything you appreciate in your life makes you feel enriched, as opposed to lacking. "If you're addicted to the idea of lack, you will never see what is here, only what you think should be here."
We look at three types of happiness; joy, pleasure and satisfaction.
Joy is, "the unreasonable happiness of your true nature". We can't control it. It's that unscheduled bubbling up of delight.
Pleasure is sensual happiness and it is transient. That bar of chocolate, glass of wine, great sex, nice meal.

Satisfaction is external. I am happy with that, because . . .
Satisfaction seems to have a friend called comparison. It doesn't matter how much we've got, when we care how much everyone else has too.

If we become disconnected from our true sense of joy, then pleasure or satisfaction will be short-lived. If we resist joy, increasingly our pleasures will turn dark. A line of chocolate soon turns into a line of cocaine.

In essence, the more you feel your feelings, positive and negative, instead of numbing them with addictive distractions, the more easily you will access your joy. Next, what is the real "more" that we want? "It doesn't matter how much fame, money, success, status we have, we still feel that things are not enough.

So we tune in and examine what we really want more of in our lives by interviewing each other. Sure, more money to pay the bills - but qualities like more peace and relaxation figure highly for everyone.
One woman told of a 30-year estrangement with her father who had broken her arm when he physically abused her as a child. Since our sharing this, she had heard from him for the first time in three decades to discover he had gifted property to her.

"It feels like the only apology I'm going to get," she said. By letting go of her painful past and finally accepting it, she allowed herself to receive abundance.

All around were examples of self-acceptance leading to healing and transformation. People's appearances even seemed to be changing - we kept remarking how much lighter and freer we seemed, our faces less fraught.

Apparently, when very happy people are interviewed and asked: "Why are you happy?" they reply: "Because of my relationship with God." This is whatever god they believe in. The effect of being religious on life satisfaction, and concluded that those with religious beliefs are likelier to be happier than atheists or agnostics.

The more we connect with our core beliefs and ourselves, the greater our connection will be with others and the world around us. "The more you accept yourself, the more abundant you will feel. While the more you love yourself, the more loved you will feel."

Later, we examined how our parents influenced our ideas of happiness, and then did meditative forgiveness exercises, as forgiveness is the biggie when it comes to emotional well being and any type of recovery.

"Forgiveness is the awareness that nothing has happened to the essence of who you are. Sure, your self-image may have taken a battering, but that is not you. The past is over, but most of us are still hanging on."

The message that has to be repeatedly driven home is that if you think something has to happen for you to be happier, you'll always be in the process of becoming happy, as opposed to being happy.
Sit for ten minutes in silence feels like forever; and just be happy. I got the giggles and felt well being flood through me. It is amazing that it is possible simply to choose to be happy, even for neurotic skeptics - or, a "functional independent" like me.

In psychology, there is a pie chart, which defines happiness. The popular belief is that 50 per cent of our happiness is based on our genes, and within that is a set point determining our average happiness.

Forty per cent is choice, and a staggeringly small 10 per cent is circumstance. It is reported that 50 per cent is not determined by our genes but by our self-image. "Hence, when we begin to truly see ourselves and update our self-image, we can begin to expand our range on happiness."

Question: If you could take a pill to feel constantly happy, would you? Three out of four in a group of 40 said no to synthetic happiness; the same result as in a national poll. Clearly, most of us want to experience the gamut of authentic human emotion.

I still get angry, frustrated and sad - but it no longer feels terminal. When my old negativity and self-pity creep in, I write a list of gratitude: ridiculously simple but instantly effective.
I felt defeated by life. Though outwardly nothing has changed for me, the internal transformation has been significant.

In examining my unhappiness with my depression and issues, an inner emptiness I've had for ages has evaporated. The relief is endless. She was seriously considering suicide but now sees much to live for. Finally, I've learned that happiness is a useless goal for the future, actually the moment or the day.

It's only here and now living in the moment that we can choose to accept ourselves and be happy.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.