The Debbil in the Corner Office: Your Boss is a Psychopath? Too Bad Corporate America Likes Them So Much.

January 21, 2012 | Christelyn Karazin |

So I was watching CNN–which I’m doing a lot these days because with All My Children and One Life to Live cancelled, I really don’t have many other options for daytime TV viewing. And Soledad tells me there’s a new test that psychologists have developed to identify whether or not your manager is a sociopath, psychopath, or some horrid mishmash of both. Then I start talking back to Soledad, trying to explain that even if there is a test to identify whether you boss has no soul, I doubt the corporations who make fistfuls of money will actually impose manadory testing in the human resources department prior to hiring of these demons.

What’s a workplace psycho look like? “They lie without remorse, steal credit for accomplishments and are adroit at transferring blame for their mistakes, psychologists said. Psychopaths are more likely to have shallow, short-term sexual relationships — often in the workplace — and are easily bored. They are prone to take risks without concern for the ramifications,” says the CNN report.

My encounter with a sociopath boss was enough to make me never, ever, eva, neva want to work for a corporation again. To this day, I still feel some bubbling up anger about my experience with the worst boss I ever had, who publicly humiliated me, sabotaged my projects and deliberately damaged me credibility with clients. And you know what? When I mentioned my plight to the bosses, they just nobbed and gestured, patted me on the head and did NO-THING, and do you know why? She was making them M.O.N.E.Y. She stayed secure in her position as she wreaked havoc upon a parade of account executives whom she skewered with full blessing from the uppers. One of these days, Carrie G., we shall meet again, and I will tell you EXACTLY what I think of you, you little snot.

Ah. That was cathartic. Maybe I don’t even need to confront her anymore.

If you have a psycho boss, here’s a few tips that I’ve learned since the disaster:

–Never confront her (I say her, because in my case, it’s always a her), because if you do, the angels from Hell will rain upon you in a blazing haze of fireballs.

–Don’t share your woes with your coworkers or low-level employees. The corporatee sociopath employs minions who report back to her for head-pats and kibbles.

–Keep a record, but don’t tell anybody that you’re keeping a record, otherwise virtual locusts may enter your hard drive and eat away any trace of evidence against the debbil in the corner office

–Don’t expect human resources to save you. They won’t. As long as that piece of bat guano you have for a boss makes the company money, virtually all offense (aside from public beheadings in the lunchroom) will be forgiven.

–Don’t cry. EVER. I mean it. Sociopaths LOVE to see you cry. It’s like their life essence.

–Quit your job. Then become your own boss, make your own success, and when you have just about enough, go back to Carrie G., uh…I mean, the boss from Hades, offer them a job in an at-will state, and fire them for shytes and giggles.

This is a major reason why I want no part of the hierarchy that is the traditional pencil-pusher corporate landscape. It’s like retail with suit and ties: HELL ON EARTH. But everyone dresses a little better.

I feel that entrepreneurship is definitely the way to go today. The encouraged sociopathy in American business is scary.

They’re also exquisite behavioural chameleons. They’ll be what you want them to be to lure you in.

Let’s be fair; chicks dig them. Ever see those personals where she wants/needs/desires/GotsToHave

Forceful in business/Gentle at home

Assertive and Successful/Understanding in relationships

Organized/Spontaneous

Knows how to party/Loving homebody

Might as well specify bat-stuff crazy with a glowing mean streak.

My general reaction? Don’t come crying, etc.

A lot of politicians also fit the profile. Especially some that support the sanctity of marriage and family values by getting married often and leaving the kids to the latest ex-wife.

introvertedwanderer

Because of my intuitive personality, I have picked up on people with personality disorders ever since I was a child. I’ve had two former coworkers whom I think definitely had personality disorders. I believe that one of them was highly narcissistic to the point of having NPD, and she was subtly sadistic. The other coworker wasn’t sadistic, but he really did not care about other people. He displayed sham emotions, and could fake bonding emotions, but he was definitely a snake in the grass. He would keep a mental checklist of every little thing other people did, so he could throw it in their faces if they ever took issue with his ways. Little troll that he was. I think the big thing about these people is that when you interact with them, something starts to feel off, either immediately or after some interaction. I agree about not confronting them, keeping records/documenting them, and remaining composed/calm, because they are skilled at sniffing out perceived weaknesses of other people, and will try to prey on those weaknesses.

Tiffany315

@introvertedwanderer I kept documentation on this man to fill a small security box!

Flutter

@introvertedwanderer

THIS^^^

I unfortunately grew up with a family full of sociopathic, sadistic, NPD cretins. People who could in public put on an outwardly normal face, but would be systematically trying to destroy people (including myself) behind the scenes. It taught me to sniff them out really quickly; way quicker than the average person, I would assert. The awful part is, once they realize that you can figure out what they’re about, they go full on attack mode. I think my eyes give away that I’m on to them. I get frustrated because I sometimes I see the pain train coming at me, but I can’t figure out how to stop it or get out of the way. Additionally, most other people haven’t picked up on this person’s personality disorder yet, and NPDs are magical in the way they can make everyone believe that their chosen victim is the one with the problem. Never underestimate how strong the spirit of fear or denial is in others; they want to pretend the emperor has clothes.

The one thing I know is, if you ever get a chance to strike these people, go for the jugular. Show absolutely, positively, no mercy. They wouldn’t give it to you, and you need to strike the fear of God in them so they’ll learn not to mess with you, EVER.

introvertedwanderer

@Flutter I agree with everything you stated. Sorry to hear about your family and their ways. My paternal set of family members have NPD traits as well. I actually spent some of my childhood in their care, and I always felt ill-at- ease around them because I could just sense that they were not “good” people. You can just tell that they don’t genuinely wish well of anyone besides themselves. They thrived on gossip, ridiculing certain family members, and just genuinely being nasty to one another, and never saw half relations as their own which meant that they treated half relations like second class citizens. I remember when I used to go and visit them, as a kid, and the house that they lived in, just felt like there was evil in it. I never wanted to stay for very long. I noticed, by talking to some family members, that they either pick up on the negativity of these people or they don’t. My mother never tolerated their B.S, though, so off course, they never really liked my mother, when they realized that she would confront them when necessary.

I agree that people with NPD do try to pathologize their targets, so that everyone looking in, thinks that the target is the one with the issues. I’ve had this happen to me. It’s even worse when you do have some self confidence issues and insecurities because they’ll use those as tools of manipulation.

Tiffany315

Did my last boss have a personality disorder? Yes, definitely. It was NPD, with a huge dose of racism, sexism, and homophobia all wrapped up in one!

Definitely behavior that is rewarded in most corporate cultures and hierarchies in general, even some non-profits. Ghengis Khan is the model. The only protection is greater perceptiveness by the rest of us.

Karla

Yes, there are a lot of sociopathic jerks gravitating to the military. I’m not saying all senior officers are nuts but there are quite a few who are. One thing I loved about being in the Navy was that, eventually, I was going to get out from under the idiots. My first commanding officer was a fat slug narcissist who told me, to my face, that he hated women in the Navy and especially hated Black officers; turned out he had been fired as an aircraft carrier CO for an unprecedented amount of racial issues on his ship. I had to step lively to keep ahead of him but he got his in a big way and i was there to see it. I actually came to relish my skirmishes with these Richard Craniums so much so, that I became an expert at cutting them down to size while maintaining conduct becoming of an officer and a gentlewoman. I learned several things in the process:

1. Never, ever let them see you sweat. Maintain calm and keep your voice even in every dealing with them.

2. Never show weakness, even if you feel beaten down. Practice keeping a poker face no matter what so that they never know what you’re thinking.

3. Once you get the poker face down, allow such emotions as contempt or humor to show in your eyes so that they know you have their number but can’t prove you’ve been disrespectful.

4. Always ensure you have your facts straight if you have to get into it with these people. Have anything you need to support yourself so that when they think they have you, you can pull it out and shove it in their face.

5. Maintain rationality in the face of irrationality. Drive them really crazy by allowing that voice of reason to sound as if you’re soothing a tantrum-throwing child.

6. Keep a log of everything you do. I have found that the person with scrupulous, almost obsessive records is the one who wins. I know this from extensive experience.

7. Read and commit to memory any rule or standard operating procedure at your job. I knew Navy Regulations, Uniform Regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice like I knew my own name. Whenever someone would suggest something not quite right, I could pull out the ruling against it, page and paragraph.

As disciplined as the Navy is, I was able to hold my own once I figured out who I was dealing with. As we all know, BW have to be a million times smarter and faster just to be perceived as a professional but we also have to know how to play the game.

I had a sergeant that fit the bill, Karla. I knew the UCMJ but didn’t know the game, so I wound up getting booted. Live and learn!

Karla

@NATruthstudent I must give props to the Master Chief of the Command who was my sea daddy. If it hadn’t been for his hard lessons, I would have done my four years and been out. As it was, he had been in the Navy as long as the CO and knew what kind of guy he was. He taught me some clever tricks and slick stuff that blew away my naivete and hardened me up.

I’d say you were fortunate then! Props go to both you and your sea daddy!

Looking back, I think the beginning of my downfall was teaching the other junior troops about the article in the UCMJ (I forget exactly which one, 130-something) that basically says “Thou shalt not harrass the junior troopies”. The Corps didn’t much like that. It wasn’t long after that that I started having problems with that sergeant, but nothing I could charge him with.

Law Wanxi

@Karla Psycopathic/Sociopathic O-4 and above Line Officers? Wow, I thought that was just a Medical Corps/Dental Corps thing, LOL.

Law Wanxi

@Karla

Psycopathic/Sociopathic O-4 and above Line Officers?

Wow, I thought that was just a Medical Corps/Dental Corps thing, LOL. Seriously, the Medical Service Corps, admin ex-enlisted types [not the psychologist/podiatrist/physical therapist types], which now includes many Hospital CO’s, almost seems to require the trait.

Karla

@Law Wanxi If the public only knew… I was on an aircraft carrier where the carrier CO was seriously out of his gourd. He was doing weird stuff, never came out of his stateroom, slept with a gun under his pillow. Thankfully, he was relieved but it was kind of sad too. He had been a POW in Vietnam and I guess the Navy rewarded him for getting through it by promoting him and giving him the biggest ship in the Navy, bristling with weapons; not very smart. Line officers are not exempt. I’m surprised to hear that staff officers have the same problem. I always thought they were a little more together because they don’t really have to prove anything. A doctor is a doctor, a JAG is a JAG…

Curvy_CEO

Thakns for sharing this – I missed the report on CNN but will definitely check it out.

FriendsofJay

II’ve got a story to tell about horrible people. I’ve never had a boss because I’ve only worked independently on my film restoration projects. As long as I get them in by the deadline every things fine. But I had an overbearing professor in grad school. He was the favorite of the department head so everything he did was just wonderful. He did the dirty work for the chairman. He was the power behind the thrown and he knew it. He had a horrible stutter which everyone pretended not to hear. For some reason he took a total dislike of me and would ridicule me in front of the other student in the class. He would say outrageous things making fun of everyone from time to time. I took offense by some of the things and unfortunately I usually had a snappy comeback which got me into even more trouble. For instance once he asked different people in the class what church they went to. With each reply he made a bad taste joke and howled with laughter. When I told him I went to The First Christian church, he laughed and said that was the funniest thing he’d every heard in his life. Knowing he was a Catholic I replied that, “it’s no funnier a concept than the virgin birth.” This infuriated him and the temperature in the room rose 30 degrees. In private he told me I was now officially on his “shit list.” He did everything possible after that to sabotage my graduate career. I was a good student, had a full scholarship to both college and graduate school, so there was no way he could hurt me academically. But he made certain that I was in all of his classes and he tried to give me a “C” grade which isn’t passing in grad school. I had proof in my writings and took them to the Academic Board and got them overturned——-frustrating him quite a bit, but nothing happened to him. Then he tried to have my Grad Assistantship withdrawn. It didn’t work. But upon completion of the MA studies, I was up for a teaching position at the university. He was able to jinx that. I spoke to the department head and he just said that he could do nothing about it. I had other opportunities and really didn’t care, but it bothered me that someone like him could actually corrupt an entire department. I guess that old saying that everyone rises to their level of incompetence is true. But usually they’re not so disgusting or protected the way he was. As Chris said, nothing happened to her supervisor because she made money for the company. Well, my grad school professor was very important to the department head. Life’s funny (peculiar) at times.

@FriendsofJay To be honest, it’s instances like this that make it hard for me to be as mad at sociopathic authority figures as the PEOPLE WHO ALLOW THEM TO WORK FOR THEM AND PROTECT THEM. I mean at least they have their mental disorder as an excuse. What about the people who knowingly pave the way for the abuses of such persons?

Karla

@Toni_M You hit the nail right on the head. The unfortunate thing about this in the military is that sometimes, people die. In 2000, there was a big story about a submarine commanding officer, who was, by all accounts from other submariners, a serious narcissistic sociopath but was given kudos by his bosses through excellent, though erroneous fitness reports. This allowed him to take command of his own submarine. During a “show off” cruise (Navy does this for Congressional folk to show them that their appropriations are well-used and needed), this man decided to let two of the civilians operate the controls to do a “ballast blow” (emergency rise of a sub that looks impressive). He noted that conditions were hazy but neglected to do the proper periscope check and ended up ramming a Japanese fishing boat with high school students on it. Nine people died (including four students) and this man’s career was up in smoke, not to mention the hundreds of thousands of dollars the Navy spent on his training. I was at the Naval War College when this happened and we discussed this case, at length. All the submarine officers knew this guy and said he was an a**hole, a cretinous idiot… no one like him because of his attitude and the way he was able to BS his way up the ladder. They all said he was a mediocre sub officer but he was able to snow his bosses so that his evaluations were top-notch. It was an embarrassment to the Navy and an international incident. This is an extreme case, I know, but it happens.

@Toni_M You hit the nail right on the head. The unfortunate thing about this in the military is that sometimes, people die. In 2001, there was a big story about a submarine commanding officer, who was, by all accounts from other submariners, a serious narcissistic sociopath but was given kudos by his bosses through excellent, though erroneous fitness reports. This allowed him to take command of his own submarine. During a “show off” cruise (Navy does this for Congressional folk to show them that their appropriations are well-used and needed), this man decided to let two of the civilians operate the controls to do a “ballast blow” (emergency rise of a sub that looks impressive). He noted that conditions were hazy but neglected to do the proper periscope check and ended up ramming a Japanese fishing boat with high school students on it. Nine people died (including four students) and this man’s career was up in smoke, not to mention the hundreds of thousands of dollars the Navy spent on his training. I was at the Naval War College when this happened and we discussed this case, at length. All the submarine officers knew this guy and said he was an a**hole, a cretinous idiot… no one like him because of his attitude and the way he was able to BS his way up the ladder. They all said he was a mediocre sub officer but he was able to snow his bosses so that his evaluations were top-notch. It was an embarrassment to the Navy and an international incident. This is an extreme case, I know, but it happens.

Sharing……Its several years later and it still makes my blood boil. Short version, this white crack addict sent an email to my boss, my bosses’ boss and HIS boss (Mike, John, Joe) and HER boss saying I was insubordinate (a fire-able offense), because I’d not submitted a required report. Turns out, I had. And if my bosses’ boss wasn’t such a pr!ck, he’d could have nipped it in the bud. Did that happen, NO!! I submitted a written complaint to human resources, and what happened to that ho, she was PROMOTED. Sometimes being right is not enough. And my guardian angel continues to protect me because I have never been alone in an elevator with her………………

SirLoinDeBeef

Had one of these in undergrad (I was tall and he was short – plus, by sheer accident, I saw his mistress naked – I changed majors) – 2nd one was in grad school – she singled me out and drove me from the program – then she targeted another, then a husband/wife team, finally the whole undergraduate class – shortly after being ‘forcibly retired,’ she died of a temporal-lobe tumor (the size of a small orange, so I was told), which caused her to have psycho-motor seizures & altered-personality episodes.

Later, I returned to the program, got my doctorate & went on to teach, do research, write and prosper – what goes around …

Pearl

This makes me want to not work… I am going to work at a flower shop.. with the nice old women. Or at Disneyland.. or Wal-mart. 😀 Hahahahahaha

Don’t CRY? Well it depends who is yelling.. I usually tear up and cry… because I don’t really like to yell.

I’d hit em’ with my purse though 😀 Crying makes the emotions run out better.. and you look better.. and you get hugs from boys.. and free candy bars. My mother tells me to keep a record when I work too… a work journal at that. I have ALWAYS had problems with women teachers and black men teachers… it never fails.

My black male teacher yelled at me in my face and slammed the book on the desk because I was talking.

Teachers in general scare me, I remember this male teacher I had in 7th grade and when he would talk to me he would be REALLY close and he would wink at me at random times… there wasn’t even a witty or a comment before it. Another one of my teachers would fall asleep in class. A one of my teachers a woman got me suspended for playing ‘too much’ in her art elective… where we played BOARD GAMES. I hate school, I really do, people are so stupid. GROWN people, with their own jobs and cars man… its sick.

Pearl

Oh My God!! Who seen Horrible Bosses? Eh, it was alright nothing to be AHAGAGAHAG about..

This reminds me of it though 😀

introvertedwanderer

@Pearl I saw Horrible Bosses recently. It was an ok movie. Jamie Foxx was funny “Did you see Falling on Cedars” lol. Kevin Spacey’s character was creepy. He definitely fits right into that type of disordered boss.

introvertedwanderer

@Pearl I saw Horrible Bosses recently. It was an ok movie. Jamie Foxx was funny “Did you see Falling on Cedars” lol. Kevin Spacey’s character was creepy. He definitely fits right into that type of disordered boss.

Pearl

@introvertedwanderer Yes lol, M***erf***er Jones!! He really did, he was a weirdo lol

Flutter

I’ve actually had greater luck in the corporate world; at least there you can sometimes find a few normal people to sympathize with, and at least they HAVE an HR office, even if it isn’t always effective. I’ve always encountered the craziest of the crazies at startups or family owned companies, or small companies in general, because there are absolutely no checks and balances and people with serious personality disorders can run around unchecked.

Joyce345

@Flutter

My first job was at a family owned company and it was KRAZY. I never attended a single meeting where no one was threatened with getting fired.

It was like they enjoyed having the threat of getting fired hanging over our heads.

Worse, three women who were pregnant while I worked there were given such a hard time that they ended up quitting.

Now when I hear it is a family business, I say ‘no thanks.’ Family business is only for family.

Flutter

@Joyce345

DITTO!! lol

MDNA2

ah yes…..the last job i quit was because of a dbr wm who was losing his job anyway(update: he was fired and god finished him off the rest of the way..murder(not by my hand, of course.that pos wasn’t worth the jail sentence over a 12.00/hr job.).or suicide?..see,9 times out of 10 individuals like this make a lot of enemies…the clock was running out on them and they knew it….instead of trying to save his job after being wrote up, they dug their heels in further and blamed others for their failures….and the list of enemies(spoken and silent) grew….i kept records and documented everything….created a custom weapon that was effective in hastening their demise….and it worked….it’s been crickets since…the worst move was underestimating the power of THIS woman….to their peril…

Ms. Kay

I think I’ve only had one bad experience with a boss years back. He was always on my case, if I spit he whined. If co workers hang out at my desk, it was a problem. If I was dealing with clients the way I see best, it was wrong. OMG. So he made the mistake pf saying derogatory things about me. I gathered up all my evidence and facts (which I logged for months about him) and filed a complaint to the President of HR. They investigated the situation, interviewed and questioned people who were mentioned in the complaint. Although I didn’t get an apology, he was fired within a month. After that everyone was walking on egg shells around me in the office, and it stayed that way for a good 2 1/2 years till I got a higher paying job elsewhere and left. Every day I use to go to that place and had a smirk on my face, because management was forever extra nice to me….”duppy know who fi frighten”

introvertedwanderer

@Ms. Kay This one had me rolling. “duppy know who fi frighten” that is so funny, and true. If you stay confident and handle your stuff, they know not to mess with you.

“…The film is in vignettes examining and criticizing corporate business practices. It establishes parallels between the way corporations are systematically compelled to behave and the DSM-IV’s symptoms of psychopathy, i.e. callous disregard for the feelings of other people, the incapacity to maintain human relationships, reckless disregard for the safety of others, deceitfulness (continual lying to deceive for profit), the incapacity to experience guilt, and the failure to conform to social norms and respect for the law…”

Is it me or are most of them women? Every terrible boss I have had has been a woman, so much so that for my next job, if it is a woman to manage me, I will have to think long and hard for that one. Whenever I hear executive women talk about the “glass ceiling”, I scoff and wonder how many other women they stepped on to get where they are.

Christelyn

@edenifill Well, I don’t know, but it has always, ALWAYS been a woman for me. Go figure.

Jay from Philly

I need to add one more thing here: If suddenly you can’t do anything right, and you start getting hauled in to the conference room repeatedly, or colleagues start looking at you funny, do yourself a favor and quit. Your psycho boss is trying to fire you and once the decision has been made for you to go, you will go. They will find something: I had my workload tripled, was disciplined for things that happened when I had taken a day off, was denied requests for vacation repeatedly, and had my email and internet cache searched. Standard procedure to fire an employee is to do it early in the day and early in the week; barring that fire them just before they walk out the door at 5:00 PM on Friday. I got fired at 2:15 PM on a Thursday afternoon. I ended up leaving a still-hot cup of coffee and a big pile of work on my desk. At the door the psycho boss demanded I turn over my work photo ID. The company never issued photo ID to employees, and when I pointed this out he said “YOU DON’T HAVE PHOTO ID?”. A few months later I had found another job and when I realized how I had been so mistreated I called him up and asked him why he had it out for me. I got a call from the head of security of the parent company. My former boss was terrified I’d show up at my former workplace and assault him.

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