Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.

Posts: 915

Some people are not meant to live together. I would hate living with another woman. I never had roommates, and it is a challenge for me to share space with even the best of friends. My sister lived with us for a few weeks, and I was climbing the walls. I am assuming she is still with your husband, or are they just co-parenting and trying to keep the children together?

I would encourage you to seek one-on-one therapy. Nothing wrong with having a safe haven and a place to work through your feelings. You might have unresolved feelings from the pregnancy and how this played out. Grieve in any way you see fit, and if you need help, seek it. She, too, might have unresolved feelings. If so, the living arrangement could be a trigger for a hidden issue. If for no other reason than learning how to effectively communicate, I would encourage the three of you to seek therapy together. I realise confined living space is a stressor, but she needs to channel her anger in a healthier manner. Scaring the other people in the home is not the solution. Does she have these episodes when the children are present, and who is the anger directed at?

The boys are still young, and there is no rule that says people cannot effectively co-parent living separately. Divorced parents do it every day. The hatred and animosity is not good for them. Children can sense it, and it will start affecting them. Hopefully some space will improve conditions. If not, I say look into other options like her moving to a neighbouring home or flat.

Personally, I would ask her to leave. I will not endure chronic emotional pain for any soul walking this earth, and there is no person who will ever make me feel like my home is not my own or that it is not my sanctuary. You can be compassionate and empathetic, but her temperament would still be creating a hostile living environment. That is not good in the long run. At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself and your well-being. Stressing is not good for you, and if she is a stressor, she might have to transition out of the house. What does your husband have to say about this? Any ideas from his end?

__________________Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.Closed.