Claiming that they 'just
forgot about it', millions of Americans failed yesterday to tune into the
'Justice Sunday' broadcast sponsored by Tony Perkins and the
Family Research Council. In spite of the
fact that the live nationwide TV simulcast was available to an estimated 61
million households in 44 states, the Arbitron ratings show that the total
viewership was somewhere in the low five figures.

"Gosh darn it, those heathen liberals have no
business trying to filibuster the president's Christian judges," said
Arkansas businessman Elmer Batters. "It's just such a shame they had to show this
at the same time as day number two of the NFL draft. I was waiting to see
where Darrell Shropshire was going to go, and he didn't get picked until the
seventh round. If that boy had bothered to comb his hair, I swear he coulda
gone somewhere in round six."

“I don't think it's radical to ask senators
to vote,” said Senator Frist during Sunday's broadcast. “Now if Senator Reid
continues to obstruct the process, we will consider what opponents call the
‘nuclear option.' It's time for us to blast a few caps in Harry Reid's ass."

Frist later apologized for using the word 'ass'.

Sensing a weakening of momentum within the
fundamentalist right, Senator Minority leader Reid announced that the
Democrats were sponsoring a special day of their own - 'Casual Friday'.

"This is a cause that all Americans can get
behind," Reid told FGAQ. "Casual Friday's are not a red state or a blue
state issue. Oh, I guess it's more of a blue state issue, since many
of the blue states have professionals working in areas outside of farming
and the trucking industry. But everyone, no matter what they do for a
living, should be able to wear a polo shirt once a week."