Introducing a whole new Bankstone News

This week’s Bankstone News has a whole new look and feel. Obviously you’ll have to trust us on the feel bit, unless you’re reading this while hooked up to one of those vibrating internet sex suits, but we think you’ll have to agree that the look has changed pretty dramatically.

There’s a whole new typeface (not just a half or a quarter, mind) and…

Well, that would be giving away our top secret design-tweak strategy, and we’re certainly not about to play into the hands of jealous rivals by doing that! As a matter of fact, hand play of all kinds was recently banned from the Bankstone News offices as part of an initiative designed to improve hygiene and prevent time-wasting. But we digress!

The first reader who can name the visually compelling and dynamic new typeface we are exclusively debuting in this edition will be entered in a special prize draw and immediately pre-qualify to receive a lifetime’s supply of being automatically entered into an endless succession of further rounds, with real (or semi-real) £££ prizes to be won!

Answers, please, to editor@bankstone-news.co.uk. If you have any comments on our new-look format – or suggestions on how we can further update and improve it for your ultimate convenience and reading please – kindly keep them to yourself.