Archive for 2014

Facebook’s new privacy policy announcement reminds us that the cyber-social realms we navigate make us and our children vulnerable to being exploited, bullied or over exposed. Privacy settings are dynamic and are subject to change depending upon the social media company’s strategy for generating revenues. It is important to help youth understand that when you sign up to use social networking and texting apps like Instagram and Facebook or KikMessenger, the service is funded by selling companies and third-party app providers access to you and your personal data. And in this regard the incentive of the social networking service is not to protect individual privacy. Individual privacy is something that must be defended by every individual user.

Indeed relating to the modern child, (who is more worldly and empowered by the feeling of validation in a tap-and-click world), requires more proactive thought, reflection and conviction about your personal worldview. In generations past, the social norms for civilized conduct and compassion for fellow human beings were generally supported by the wider community norms and children were socialized at home and school accordingly. Today, the modern culture of entitlement amplified by internet-powered connectivity blurs the boundaries for personal responsibility and security.

Christmas is a time when many families are making new investments in devices and apps. According to Google, the top searches for Christmas gift purchases are devices and game consoles, followed by wearable gear like FitBit. The most common problem with these new gadgets is the improper disposal or redeployment of the old ones leaving your personal information vulnerable to thieves and bad actors. According to cyber safety experts, deleting files is not enough.

Last Wednesday the Sacramento Sheriff’s Hi-Tech Crimes detectives arrested a 21-year-old man for possession of child pornography. According to the press release, he had been employed as a recreational aid at a Sacramento region elementary school and after school program. This arrest reminds us that bad actors can appear harmless and go undetected while they are actively searching for victims on and off line. So how can parents protect their children?
Detective James Williams, of the Sacramento Sheriff’s Department of Internet Crimes Against Children wants parents to know that predators target youth who are seeking love, affection and attention – for whatever the reason. “The child is searching for something and the predator is targeting this vulnerability,” he said. Williams says that parents ask him about recommendations for spying software, which he does not encourage. “The best approach is a positive one,” he said, explaining that spy software will not solve the problem if you are not involved with your children’s life. “It is easy for kids to keep secrets with the texting apps like Kik Messenger, which is not a part of the texting function,” he said.

In a cyber-powered world, bullying can feel unsurvivable, as the incidents of suicide that make the headlines remind us how fragile and strong we are depending upon our state of heart and mind. All of our children are experiencing and witnessing intense bullying in their cyber social realms, as aggressors, targets and bystanders. Here are some tips for parents:

Christmas is on the horizon, and many parents are faced with important decisions about the purchase of devices for children who are always very eager to jump into the cyber social realm of apps and games long before many parents are confident about managing their on-line experiences. No doubt the management of content with the diversity of devices and apps can feel confusing and overwhelming at times. Every device and every app has its own arrangement of security functions and permissions to navigate, and the stakes are high for very young hearts and minds who also need to learn how to establish healthy boundaries using this technology.

According to a recent NPR report, parents and adult children are living in the same home as the milennial and the baby boomer generations are making choices that resemble an extended family. In my view, the idea of the modern young adult returning home to live with parents after college is a natural consequence of 1) socio-economic trends wherein their first jobs may not sustain a new household and college debt, and 2) a renewed parent-child bond emerging from a cyber-powered generation.

A recent survey found that 80% of UK parents feel that their children are growing up too fast, and the question remains who is in control? The technology (and media), the child or the parent? Many parents are granting unsupervised access to internet-powered devices at early ages, seven and younger, and there is a perception that the kids are growing up too fast. How can we shield children from the risky and evil ideas and lifestyles of popular culture and Hollywood that do not conform to our values?

Why your teen should not be expected to respond immediately to parents’ texts and calls
Bonus link to a guide for grooming your child for cyber safe use of smart devices
One of the main reasons parents decide to equip their child with a mobile phone is the belief that instant communication with them will keep them safer. Nevertheless, while equipping kids with mobile devices makes us feel that our children are safer, if we are not careful to educate and train them about the purpose-driven use of the mobile device it actually poses new risks.

If you have a teen, you know all too well how mobile connectivity intensifies the power crisis for teens and parents. It is not new that teens feel like their parents are irrelevant, and it is true that our children’s adolescence is informing them radically differently than that of our own. Modern youth are conditioned differently for authority. Rather than as a matter of position or title, authority is perceived more as a relational experience of feeling validated in a world interconnected without interference from hierarchy, time or distance.
Some of the ways in which youth may be unduly influenced in this hyper networked environment include the following perceptions:

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The objective of Banana Moments (click here to receive updates) is to help parents rise above the noise and the fray of the daily, weekly, monthly press of information and life’s stresses of family business. Banana Moments offers insights and inspiration to reinforce your own family values and help you lead children in this network culture that pressures all of us with things that don’t really matter and are largely not true.

About Joanna Jullien

Joanna (jullien@surewest.net) and her husband have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from U.C. Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture). Her honors thesis was awarded the Kroeber Prize and funding from National Science Foundation grant. Joanna writes to help parents with the modern-day leadership challenges of raising children. She is a contributing writer for The Granite Bay View, the Press Tribune, the Sacramento Examiner, and editor of Banana Moments.