I lost my life to a guru: One woman revealshow she fell prey to a manipulative guru who took her money (over
£300,000) and destroyed her career, her marriage and very nearly her
sanity

Nina Collins had it all: a high-flying career, a new partner and a smart house − but inside she felt empty. Here she reveals how she fell prey to a manipulative guru who took her money (over £300,000) and destroyed her career, her marriage and very nearly her sanity

Nina Collins lost nearly £300,000 to a manipulating guru and destroyed her career

It was 1998, and I’d just started a new job as the Body Shop’s head of marketing. I was 36, had everything I could have wished for materially and my relationship with my new partner was going well, but I still couldn’t shake off the feeling that there must be more to life.

One afternoon in London I was in Covent Garden for a meeting when I saw a sign saying ‘spiritual therapy’. On the spur of the moment, I went in and started talking to the therapist who said she would like to refer me to a woman she called ‘The Divine Mother’ who ran a retreat in Gloucestershire for ‘burned-out’ businesspeople like me. I thought, ‘What have I got to lose?’

When I arrived at Vaikuntha, based in an Edwardian mansion in Stroud, I was immediately struck by the peaceful atmosphere and how tranquil everyone appeared.

I was introduced to The Divine Mother, Mojdeh Danesh, who was the most charismatic person I’ve ever met, and I immediately felt the sort of respect for her I would for, say, a doctor.

She asked me lots of questions and I found myself telling her how my father abandoned me as a child to pursue a singing career, about past relationship failures and other very personal things. She wrote it all down, I assumed, so she could help me to grow spiritually and emotionally. I left feeling very positive.

For three months, I went to Vaikuntha every other weekend, having treatments such as talking therapy or acupuncture costing £40 each.

My confidence was eroded… Mojdeh used details of my personal failings to humiliate and control me

I began staying overnight, which cost more, and attended spiritual workshops on Sundays at £120 a session. There were about 15 other high-earning professionals who took part in these workshops, all in thrall to Mojdeh, including an investment banker, a solicitor and other corporate people.

No one could speak until Mojdeh had sat down, or leave until she had left. She taught us a mix of Hindu-based philosophy, Islamic beliefs, astrology, and ‘lessons’ from Sai Baba (the late Indian guru who has since been discredited and outed as a paedophile), insisting we could learn spiritual enlightenment through her only – she said outsiders wouldn’t understand what we were learning.

She also said my relationship with my new partner, a successful businessman, was doomed if we weren’t on the same spiritual path, and insisted that I brought him along.

He was very sceptical and questioned everything, but Mojdeh said that only the ignorant challenged her.

I thought it was wonderful to have someone so interested in my welfare, showing me love, concern and care.

Nina in San Francisco, above, with her son Aaron in 2003 - her first feeling of freedom after breaking away from Mojdeh

I was in a kind of heaven. After six months, I began to feel pressurised to go to Vaikuntha every week. Slowly, I lost a bit more of myself, but I didn’t question Mojdeh as I really believed in her.

But she began to change. It was subtle, but the love and care gradually diminished and was replaced with demands for more money and time. Her minions would phone constantly, applying more and more pressure.

She would say dismissive things such as, ‘Well, if you are not serious…’ and the tension upped bit by bit.

Over time, I lost control of my ability to make decisions, and my confidence was eroded.

Mojdeh used details of my personal failings to humiliate and control me, and applied group pressure by getting the others to criticise me if I displeased her, which was very isolating.

We were told to think negative thoughts about people who had disobeyed Mojdeh, almost like witchcraft.

I now feel sad that I got involved in something so dark.

My partner rejected Mojdeh’s teachings, and my relationship with him became more turbulent. He was in turmoil because he didn’t want to lose me but he was struggling to accept the philosophy of my guru. Mojdeh made all the decisions about our lives, from how we spent our money to my clothes, insisting that I wore Punjabi robes at the retreat.

It took me about four years to get my life back on track after I escaped

My arguments with my partner over Mojdeh didn’t improve and eventually she asked us to leave.

In spite of our differences, my partner and I knew that we wanted to commit to each other formally so we got married in Cirencester. I then went to work on a fair-trade project in Ghana for six months and when I returned to the UK Mojdeh rang to say we could come back to Vaikuntha.

I remember thinking that we must be special to be asked back; we didn’t know then that to reject someone then invite them to return is a tactic used by cults to build dependency. I had felt lost without Mojdeh, ‘just living normally, just earning money’, to use her jargon.

She was so good at making you feel you needed her. She encouraged suspension of intellect by focusing strongly on emotion.

Mojdeh invited us to India to be married ‘properly’ at a Hindu ceremony, where we were made to lie at the feet of her idol, Sai Baba.

It was an expensive trip. I was in thrall to her again, and this time my husband fell under her spell, too. Mojdeh played on my desire to promote ethical marketing, and we became involved in selling her ‘special’ plant and crystal remedies, on sale in other places for £3 but because they had been chanted over by the Divine Mother she charged £27.

Nina and Aaron on Hadrian's Wall last year

She pressurised us to buy approximately £100,000-worth of stock from her, and if my husband got a bonus from work she would insist we buy more, but it didn’t sell because of the inflated price.

We tried selling it at mind-body-spirit festivals and I even started running meditation workshops to try to get rid of it, but with little success.

Mojdeh moved us into a bungalow opposite the main house, charging a huge rent.

I was very worried about our financial situation, and now that I was so close to Mojdeh I began to see her vast wealth, her expansive wardrobe of designer clothes, the red Alfa Romeo Spider she kept in a secret garage, and I grew suspicious.

She watched our every move, more so after I became pregnant. She said I was just the carrier, that she was the baby’s spiritual mother. She banned my mother from being at Aaron’s birth, attending herself instead, later demanding £3,000 for ‘spiritual guidance’.

I was furious, but I coughed up. Emotionally I was all over the place and more vulnerable than ever. When my mother came to help me after I left hospital, Mojdeh screamed at me that she should have been there instead.

My relationship with my husband went downhill and we spent yet more money on couples counselling with Mojdeh, each seeing her separately and then together for many months even though it became clear that our marriage was over.

Mojdeh told me to convince my husband to buy a property near the retreat from one of her inner circle, and he moved there.

We put our house in Kingston up for sale, and I knew that if we didn’t get away from Mojdeh she’d take my share of that money too. I’d tried to leave twice before, but I’d become estranged from my family and friends under Mojdeh’s influence.

She had managed to isolate me from everyone I had known before I joined her, a classic cult ploy, so that I would find it too lonely and hard to cope on the outside and therefore return.

She screamed at me for hours, about what a useless failure I was, how I’d never survive outside. I became ill, and my weight dropped to under seven stone.

I was being terrorised and wasn’t even allowed to display any photographs of my family in my home, just images of Mojdeh and Sai Baba. I got a tax rebate for £5,000 and Mojdeh took it as recompense for all the time she had ‘wasted’ on ‘counselling’ me.

She used it to go to a luxurious Austrian spa. But one day, early in 2002, Mojdeh said to some other devotees, ‘I can’t break the bitch’, and something in me snapped. I developed a strength, a quiet resolve to get out; I suddenly knew everything was going to be OK.

Nina last year on her horse Faith; she is now training as a
riding instructor

I’d been a tough businesswoman with a strong inner core, but Mojdeh had such control over me she had shattered my self-belief. I knew I’d never leave if I didn’t do it then.

I found a house near Stroud through a lettings agency, using the only credit card Mojdeh didn’t know about to pay six months’ rent upfront.

As I prepared to leave, her bullyboy henchmen came round, but I just sat there as they tried to goad me. They said I’d be destitute, but I was impervious to their threats. I had no belief left in anything Mojdeh had taught me.

Mojdeh’s mistake had been moving me near her – anyone can erect a façade, but they can’t keep it in place 24/7. Before I left, another ex-devotee won a court case and a large sum from Mojdeh. She therefore knew she had to keep my husband involved in case we both pursued legal action against her, which could have finished her, so she worked very hard to convince him that she was right and I was evil. He ended up staying five more years.

The joy and elation I felt at being free is indescribable: I was able to make my own decisions once more and rediscover myself.

The money from the sale of the Kingston house came through and I bought a property near Stroud.

Aaron was almost three when we left, but he had been badly traumatised by the bullying he had witnessed and I couldn’t leave him alone even for a moment.

THE FACTS ON MIND CONTROL by Graham Baldwin, Manager and Counsellor with Catalyst

It’s not true that only the vulnerable or naive get recruited by cults and gurus. Well-balanced people of above average intelligence who are idealistic are the most likely to get sucked in.

Groups and gurus try to make people dependent on them by making them think they are not spiritual enough and therefore need the guru or group to lead them. Questioning is discouraged and victims told it means they lack faith.

Gurus will slowly strip away the identity of the victim and erode their beliefs and values, which are replaced with the philosophy of the group or guru. Chanting, singing and meditation can be used to reinforce new beliefs.

Victims are separated from friends and family, who, they are told, won’t understand so will try to stop the person finding spiritual fulfilment. Victims are also told that if they leave and reject the teachings, they won’t find success in life and never learn ‘the truth’.

Groups and gurus attempt to change a person’s whole world view in a short time, usually with a minder to monitor every part of the victim’s life to prevent them from checking out their new beliefs with third parties.

The damage done can be psychological, social, financial and physical and can impact badly on careers — it’s hard to explain years of absence on a CV. The good news is that with the right help much of the damage can be reversed.

By keeping people isolated from family and friends, cults and gurus make it difficult for those who leave to re-establish relationships, as they have to admit they made a terrible mistake and wasted a lot of time and money.

Many ex victims think their money cannot be recovered, but it is possible to take court action and recover not just ‘donations’ but also payment for the ‘voluntary’ work many groups demand.

An estimated 1,500 groups are now active within the UK, and we are seeing growth of two new vulnerable target groups: middle-aged women whose children have left home and isolated elderly people. There has been significant growth in one-on-one abusive relationships. Cults and gurus are no longer a little problem on the margins; mind control is becoming more problematic in society, and is breaking up lots of families and marriages.

After the initial euphoria I realised that I too was traumatised, so I contacted Catalyst, the charity for former cult members, and received counselling, which really helped.

They also put me in touch with a cult specialist lawyer who worked hard on my behalf to get some of my money back from Mojdeh on the basis that she used ‘undue influence’. In 2006, I won an out-of-court settlement for a very large sum, but part of the agreement is that I may never disclose the amount.

I didn’t want Aaron to go back to Vaikuntha so I also had to fight a custody battle with my ex-husband, but we now have an amicable relationship and he’s a wonderful father.

It took me about four years to get my life fully back on track after I escaped, but now I’m in contact with my mother and five siblings again and we’ve had some lovely reunion holidays together.

They were all very worried when I was under Mojdeh’s spell but didn’t know how to free me from her. I still find it hard to trust anyone enough to have them around my son, who is now 13, and I’ve been single since leaving, but I am very happy with my life now and I’m retraining as a riding instructor.

I have forgiven Mojdeh – there’s no point in carrying bitterness around. I’m far too busy living my life, enjoying the Christian faith I have now chosen – and just being free.

* * * * *

Footnote: According to a solicitor retained by Mojdeh Danesh the litigation between his client and Nina Collins was settled through a ‘confidential settlement agreement’. He advises, ‘None of the allegations…have ever been proved in court and the allegations are denied by Ms Danesh.’

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I lost my life to a guru: One woman reveals how she fell prey to a manipulative guru who took her money (over
£300,000) and destroyed her career, her marriage and very nearly her sanity