It's far, far better to teach your children that all alcohol is evil than to teach them about responsible drinking. That way, when they're 17 and at their first unsupervised party with their friends, they'll chug 40 ounces of vodka in 1/2 an hour (because the cool kids keep bragging that that's what they do every weekend) and then die of acute alcohol poisoning.

I farking despise people who bring their kids to the bar. And no a sports bar that might serve burgers is not an appropriate place for kids, either. Lost count how many confrontations I've gotten into because stupid people think a drinking establishment is an ok place for kids.

//No, I'm sure my alcoholic dad taking me to the bar as a kid probably has nothing to do with my strong feelings on the matter.

My dad used to love telling this story. Now, my dad was an alcoholic sonofabiatch, but he was a good time guy, and there is no way I can tell this story as well as he could, so I'll paraphrase.

When I was 3, I was pestering my dad for some of his vodka on the rocks.

"Dink, daddy, dink!" I kept saying.

Apparently, this kept going on and on, so he had the notion that if he gave me a sip, I'd revile and leave him alone.

So, he gives me the glass, and I take a sip. Moments later, my eyes widen, I smile, and proceed to try to toss back the whole kit and kaboodle. Dad grabs for the glass, and it spills, showering me in a shower of ice and vokak.