Dear Jennifer: I resent my stepkids' mother

DEAR JENNIFER: Almost two years ago I got together with a guy who has two boys, now aged 4 and 6. I wasn't the reason he split from his wife but there is bad blood between them and she seems resentful of the fact that he has a new partner. I have never met her, which seems strange to me, but he says she's made it clear she doesn't want to meet or deal with me and so I let him manage all the handovers of the kids etc. Officially we have the boys two nights a week, but the reality is getting to be more 50/50, as she apparently has chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm doing some hardcore parenting of these kids - reading stories every night, baking birthday cakes, wiping up snotty noses, catching their colds, getting up in the night to nightmares and wet beds. I can't believe this woman gives me this much responsibility over her kids but won't show any gratitude or even meet me. She's thinks nothing of changing her plans at the last minute and impacting my life in so many ways. I feel resentful but don't want to take it out on the boys who I'm very fond of. And I don't want it to cause fights with my partner, which I suspect is her goal. What should I do?

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