The Basics: So, if I were a dirty-bomb terrorist like the guy in this movie, I think I'd have a better plan in place than to rig up my dirty chemical weapons to weather balloons and then wait around for a typhoon to do my bidding. I mean, seriously.

What's the Deal? Hey, art-house fans. Do you dig action movies that make no sense? Like the kind Michael Bay makes? No? Well, hey, action-movie junkies. Do you want to read subtitles while waiting for stuff to blow up and people to get shot and chased and stuff? No? OK, then. Nobody go see this dumb movie then. It fails on every level.

How Sorry You Should Feel for the Guy With the Bomb Who Wants to Use a Typhoon to Kill Innocent People: Very sorry, that's how much! Tons! He was ruined as a child when his family was denied asylum! Now he is a pirate on a mission of righteous vengeance!

Pedigree: It's the biggest Korean production to date. Which means it's got nothing creatively on other, genuinely cool Korean filmmakers (like Park Chan-wook) who are making their mark right now. Oh, yeah, and it still looks low-budget to me.

Back to the "How Sorry You Should Feel" Thing, Just for a Second: Yes, it really tries to be a male weepie. You'll weep that you just spent ten bucks on it.

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