Want to move up the career ladder? Try having an affair. If it worked for France's president and A-Rod, it can work for you too.

I don't know what it's like to be the third baseman for the Yankees, but it must get stale sometimes. And clearly I have no idea what it's like to be mayor of a major city in California, but there has to be the odd day when none of it -- the commissions, the councils, the ad hoc committees, not to mention the police union, Christ! -- not one bit of it adds up. But lately, there is a solution. Have an affair.

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Fucking around is now a career elixir; adultery, the newest career boost. Look at the new president over in France, Nicolas Sarkozy. He's been sleeping around for years, and suddenly his hot wife is too, and now he's an American hero. Our closest ally in Europe. France! And A-Rod, seen with a stripper? Career year, yo. Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco, sleeps with his assistant? Her husband resigns, for God's sake. Antonio Villaraigosa, mayor of Los Angeles, leaves his wife and children? His girlfriend announces it on her newscast, then goes home to sleep with him.

Look at what ten years does. A decade ago, people pulled their hair out over semen stains on an intern's dress. Some of us said, Who cares? But even I would admit that there was some logic to the alchemy of Bill Clinton's troubles. You mess around, you take your knocks. But this new breed of adulterers presses on, seeking reelection, getting fast-tracked for governor, knocking the snot out of the Devil Rays' pitching. It's got to be invigorating, outrunning a scandal. The lights burn hotter, cheeks redden, every word is like a loaded gun, every day must feel like your last. The cities still gleam at night. The infield grass must be so intensely green. They keep working. And then, this too passes. They must pinch themselves. They'll get raises next year. Big ones.