Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Beautiful Relevance of Sadness for Healing and Growth

INSIDE OUT
(2015) is a brilliant Disney production that any family therapist could build a
whole philosophy around. It’s a movie about Riley, an eleven year old girl, and
her mother and father. They move from Minnesota to San Francisco and that’s
where Riley’s troubles start. The movie is based on what Riley actually
experiences within the emotions of her inner world — with each of her emotions
(Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust) having a character. Without spoiling
the movie for those who wish to watch it, there is a key reversal where Joy
empowers Sadness.

Sadness is the hero, because, when the chips are down, and
Riley is losing all her core memories (her identity is falling apart), it is
only Sadness that can get through. Sadness gets through with empathy, because
Sadness calls the doldrums of life what they actually are. For a great deal of
time in the movie, Riley is forced to run emotionally without either Joy or Sadness,
so she only has responses of Fear, Anger and Disgust to draw from.

We could say that Joy and Sadness are interdependent. True
joy cannot be experienced without the ability to experience genuine sadness,
for both require honesty. If we are not honest enough to be sad when we are sad
we will react in fear, anger or disgust. If we are not honest enough to be sad
when we are sad then we don’t have the capacity to experience joy. This is
because joy is only truly meaningful and true with honesty. Is there anything
worse than a fabricated joy?

When Sadness heals everything it touches toward the end of
the movie, it’s clear that Sadness is exactly what Riley needs — to be true to
her actual feelings. Only then, when she reaches out to her parents in
courageous truth, to communicate what she’s really feeling, does she receive,
in truth, a response every good parent is blessed to give. They meet her in
that emotional space.

***

Sadness has a depth about it that courageously employs
honesty for healing.

When we can be
sad, without anger or fear or disgust intruding, we are closest to God’s healing
touch, because we honour what is our truth.

Sadness is
central to growth, because it is central to honesty. When our honesty reveals
sadness our vulnerability opens us up to healing.

From this it can
be seen that emotional and spiritual growth don’t initiate with joy, but from an
acknowledgement of genuine sadness.

When we can be
honestly sad, then we can honestly feel joy.

If we wish to be
healed we will embrace our sadness and always have a home for it.