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Research shows that young men don't visit their doctor as often as young women.

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Key Takeaways

Educating boys and men in sex makes them more confident and improves their relationships.

Many doctors don’t bring up sex in the office, but men are also reluctant to get medical care in the first place.

There is no existing protocol to instruct doctors on how to talk to their male patients about sex and sexuality.

When it comes to talking to teens about sex, parents and teachers aren’t the only ones who are hesitant to broach the subject – doctors also tend to shy away from “the sex talk.” In fact, less than two-thirds of physicians discuss sexual issues with their adolescent patients, and even when they do, the conversation only lasts for about 36 seconds, according to a study published in February 2014 in the journal JAMA Pediatrics.

The study also found that female patients are twice as likely as male patients to discuss sexual matters with their doctors. This may come as no surprise since girls talk to their doctors about matters like menstruation and pregnancy prevention as soon as they hit puberty while boys don’t have a similar reason to see a doctor.

As a result, “men and boys get very little info about sex from their healthcare providers,” says Abraham Morgentaler, MD, director of Men’s Health Boston and associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School’s Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. “This impacts their sense of masculinity, their relationships, sense of self, and enjoyment of life.” Plus, it puts them at a higher risk of STDs and accidental pregnancies.

So, why aren’t doctors talking to boys and men about sex? Here are three common reasons, plus five things boys and men should know about hitting the sheets.

1. Doctors Aren’t Comfortable Talking About Sexuality

“Our culture, including doctors, is still uncomfortable and awkward when it comes to discussing sexuality,” says Morgentaler. So unless the patient brings it up, the doctor likely won’t mention it.

2. Males Don’t Visit Their Docs in the First Place

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, young women between the ages of 19 and 25 are more likely than young men of the same age to see a doctor regularly. And that trend continues as boys get older. “Men tend to only see their doctors if they’ve broken something,” says Morgentaler.

3. There’s No Protocol for Sex Ed Amongst Doctors

“Teaching young men about what to expect sexually and what’s normal or not isn’t a standard part of medicine,” says Morgentaler. “There’s now an attempt to get human sexuality into the medical curriculum, but it’s relatively new, not well funded, and not a high priority for medical students.”

As a result, it’s more common for the “sex talk” to happen in school. But research shows that there are gaps in this education. For example, only about half of adolescent males receive instruction about birth control in their schools’ sex ed courses, according to a study published in June 2016 in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

5 Things Boys and Men Need to Know About Sex

Whether you’re 14 or 40, here’s what you should know about getting it on.

1. Frequent Erections Are Normal

Males start getting erections as early as when they’re in the womb, says Morgentaler. And normal, healthy young men get three to five erections per night.

2. You Shouldn’t Compare Your Sex Life to Porn

It’s easy for guys to watch porn and then feel like they don’t measure up in the bedroom, but it’s important to remember that in real life, people don’t look, talk, or behave like the actors in these movies, says Morgentaler.

3. It’s Okay to Be Emotional About Sex

Men have just as many emotional and psychological needs as women. “Once a man has feelings for his partner, he cares deeply for that person, and he cares as much about being a good sexual partner as he does about his own pleasure,” says Morgentaler.

4. It’s Important to Feel Comfortable With Your Partner

“If you’re in a situation where you feel nervous or anxious, you may not be able to get an erection – and that’s quite common,” says Morgentaler. So it’s a good idea to wait until you feel comfortable with your partner before having sex.

5. There’s Nothing Shameful About Male Sexuality

“Male sexuality is a beautiful thing,” says Morgentaler. “And the more you learn about it, the more you can walk through life feeling good.”

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