July 28, 2017

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

I'm on vacation today until August 9th, but I have no idea what I'll be doing. I've decided to simply get up in the morning and see where the day takes me. I hope one of the days takes me to Lakeland, Florida. There's an amazing park, near the library, where swans and ducks live and I love to feed the birds. While I'm gone, my Dear Reader spot will feature memorable columns with back stories, guest authors and some fun giveaways, I'm sure you'll enjoy. Signing off for a bit, out the door, and on vacation.... Suzanne Beecher.

If I'm paying attention and ready to listen, there's a story waiting for me everywhere I go.

I handed the bank teller my deposit and we started chatting about the early, hot, humid weather, which soon led to "The plants sure need more rain, don't they?"

And that's when she told me her "Once upon a time," true story...

"A gardenia plant was growing outside of my window," the bank teller settled back in her chair, "it had been blooming for 15 years in my yard, so abundantly, and it got so tall I had to trim it back a little bit. It was a beautiful plant, blooming right outside my kitchen window. It sounds kind of silly, but every day I'd say good morning to my gardenia plant while I was pouring my coffee. But then suddenly it died for no apparent reason. I expected the gardenia to keep blooming for many more years, because it looked so healthy and I took good care of it. But one day it died anyway, and since it had gotten so big, I was going to ask the man who cut my lawn if he would take it out of the ground for me. But before he could get around to it, I looked out my kitchen window one morning, and noticed a flowering vine had encompassed the gardenia plant--wrapped itself totally around my old gardenia plant and in a way, made it bloom again.

So I decided to let it be, to not to take the dead gardenia plant out, because maybe it was nature's way of making things beautiful and taking care of things. A cycle of life, don't you think? I still can't understand what happened to my gardenia plant. But I guess it's the way things were supposed to be, because whenever I look at the flowering vine, I remember my beautiful gardenia."

If I'm listening, everywhere I go there's a story waiting for me. What a blessing.

Business Solutions, Inc. is in chaos. While employees stalk free snacks and rendezvous in the stairwells, company execs and shady consultants are running the company into the ground. Can former warehouse guy Will Evans and corporate mercenary Anna Reed set aside their differences to save this dumb-but-well-intended company from itself?

Go to: AUTHORBUZZ click on B. S. Incorporated to read more and to email authors, you'll get a reply.

* * *

* This month's Penguin Classics book is Devil on the Cross, by Ngugi wa Thiong'o. Click here to start reading, and be sure to enter the drawing for your chance to win a Penguin tote bag

"Suzanne, I love your daily columns and all your recipes. You are one of the best parts of my day! I felt compelled to write to you today, because you mentioned in your column that you only use cream of tartar for Angel Food cupcakes. Cream of tartar is also an ingredient in my most favorite cookies...Snickerdoodles. Please make some ASAP!"

(Suzanne replies:) Thanks for the recipe. I will whip up a batch of Snickerdoodles, and I'll introduce the cookies to my grandsons the next time they stay overnight. But first I'm going to have to look up what cream of tartar really is, because for sure my grandson Paul, will ask me the what, where, and why about it. They're his standard questions about things and good ones, too. (Thank heavens for Google.)

Combine flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt in a separate bowl. Blend dry ingredients into butter mixture. Chill dough, and chill an ungreased cookie sheet for about 10-15 minutes in the fridge.

Meanwhile, mix 3 tablespoons sugar, and 3 teaspoons cinnamon in a small bowl. Scoop one inch globs of dough into the sugar/cinnamon mixture. Coat by gently rolling balls of dough in the sugar mixture.

Place on chilled ungreased cookie sheet, and bake 10 minutes.

Side note: What the heck is cream of tartar? It's a byproduct of wine and grape juice processing, it's an acidic salt that acts as a stabilizer in recipes that require whipped egg whites, such as meringue, angel food cake, and souffle. When whipped, egg whites (also known as albumen) can swell up to eight times their initial volume. Cream of tartar is used in traditional Snickerdoodles recipes.

June 26, 2017

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

The next time you're having a party and need a professional grade cotton candy or popcorn machine, a karaoke machine, punch bowl or a chocolate fountain, and of course--my favorite party item--a bubble machine, you just might be able to check them out at your local library.

A Reader Email:

"Suzanne, I am a librarian at the Sonoma County Library. I was reading an article about changes in libraries across the country. Many libraries are beginning to loan things, not just books. I thought you would be interested to know that the Hillsboro, Oregon Public Library is loaning bubble machines. What a great idea! Hope you have a wonderful day." --Nancy C.

(Suzanne replies:) I agree with you Nancy, what a great idea! I can't begin to tell you how many times I've purchased something for a party, and since it's a one time use, and I don't have a lot of storage, I need to find a home for it. A library who has a "Library of Things" for patrons to check out, like the Hillsboro Public Library would be the perfect place to donate it. And it's such an ingenious idea--a way to make the library one of the go-to places in the community.

I had to find out more, so I called the library and talked to Brendan, the Collection Development Librarian who's in charge of their "Library of Things." Of course the first thing I inquired about was the bubble machine they loan.

We had quite a bubble conversation exchange about the ins and outs of battery versus electric bubble machines. Like I had I discovered, through my own trial and error, Brendan said they started with battery machines, but they just didn't hold up, so now they have an electric bubble machine in their collection. When I went to the library's catalog of "Library of Things" I noticed their bubble machine has 16 holds on it. (The patrons in Hillsboro know how to party!)

Kudos to book club reader Nancy for letting me know about what's happening at the Hillsboro Library and to Brendan, the Collection Development Librarian for making it happen.

Imagine yourself trapped in a dark, claustrophobic shelter, with people you neither know or trust, by a raging hurricane. Then, one by one, the murders start. Paranoia and madness run rampant. What would you do to survive?

Go to AUTHORBUZZ click on STORM SHELTER to read more and to email author J.L. Delozier, you'll get a reply.

June 21, 2017

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

Take a second and smile right now. Today's column is filled with jokes that readers sent in during "Funnies at the Book Club" last week.

Smiling is a way to loosen up and get rid of any judgement: that joke's not funny, it's stupid, "...that couldn't ever really happen" as one reader wrote in--and they were right--come on--it's a joke!

Of course I've included chicken jokes, and Florida jokes (since I live in Sarasota, Florida.) Have fun reading the funnies, at least one or two is bound to make you grin, smile, or maybe even laugh out loud.

Thank you to everyone who submitted a joke and congratulations to the winners of my daily drawings:

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away."

June 16, 2017

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

Enjoy these funnies from book club readers...

"I once bought a self-help Learn-to-speak French record album but it 'skipped,' so I learned to accurately stutter in French."--Marty B.

"Teacher: What is the value of Pi?Student: Depending on what pie, usually about $12.99"--Jenny B.

"A child asked his father, 'How were people born?' So his father said, 'Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.' The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, 'We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.' The child ran back to his father and said, 'You lied to me!' His father replied, 'No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.'"--Susie M.

It's been a week of Funnies at the Book Club. Be sure to enter today's drawing for Where's my Stuff? Arrow Sign Pointer Organizer & Reminder Rings--Set of 3, click here.

Enjoy one of my favorite funny columns...

I was on the phone talking with an author about his book, and hurriedly jotted down every word he said. But when I tried to read his quotes back to him, I was stumbling over the words in front of me. I couldn't read my own handwriting, or as my friend Hilda would call it, "chicken scratches".

Hilda is 95+ years old. She's a friend of mine, and when I went to the market the other day, she came along. When she pulled out her shopping list, I noticed it looked like it had been drafted in the middle of an earthquake. We were both laughing about it and simply decided that things can get a little shaky with age.

I told Hilda not to worry or feel one bit embarrassed about her handwriting, because it happens to me, too. Sometimes when I have an idea for a column, especially if I'm on the run, I grab whatever I can and quickly jot down my thoughts. It's always a relief to know that my idea is safely written down, so I let it wander out of my mind. But unfortunately, the next day when I try to type up my notes, it's all a mystery to me. I can only read about every third word, and some sentences are totally lost in translation, because my writing is as cryptic as Hilda's shopping list.

Assuming each line on the shopping list was a separate item, Hilda and I decided there were 20 words we needed to decode, so we started at the top.

"Okay, Hilda, this looks kind of like a 'p', doesn't it? And it appears to be a long word, so let's see, what do you think?"

Yes! That was it! One down! (Hilda remembered she ran out of popcorn Thursday night when she was watching her favorite TV show.)

And with the skill of two veteran Wheel of Fortune players, down the list we went, letter by letter, item by item. By the third entry on our list, the shoppers around us must have thought we had both lost our minds. Excitedly yelling back and forth in the grocery aisle (Hilda's a little hard of hearing) we're exchanging guesses.

"This one looks like it's eggs Hilda, but it starts with a 'd'."

"Do you want to buy a vowel?"

"Gimme an 'e' for $250, Pat. Spin that wheel for us Vanna."

A 'd' and an 'e.' Eggo waffles? No I bet it's a dozen eggs.

"Do you need a dozen eggs Hilda?"

I do believe it was the most entertaining shopping trip either of us had been on in a long time.

Now if I could just decipher the "chicken scratches" in front of me. What did that author say again? It looks like it starts with a 'g,' but it could be a 'p'...maybe I need to buy a vowel, or call Hilda?

Thanks to all the readers who sent in jokes. Be sure to enter today's drawing for Where's my Stuff? Arrow Sign Pointer Organizer & Reminder Rings--Set of 3, click here.

Wendy Pope, today's guest author wrote a book titled, Wait & See. It's an intriguing title and the title of her guest column is intriguing, too. Enjoy!

Be sure to enter Wendy's giveaway. She has 10 copies of Wait & See ready and waiting to send to readers. Email: wendypope.org.

What I Learned From Spider

When you live in the woods, you come face-to-face with all varieties of God's creation and my house is deep in the woods. Most are the cute "Awww, look how cute" species, while others are the gross "Ewww, kill it!" kind. For me, spiders fall in the "Ewww!" category. I am not a fan of the creepy crawlies. They love to take up residence in corners of my windows and spin webs across the carport.

Window washing day was my opportunity to rid my windows of these tiny creatures and their homes; I wasn't expecting a faith lesson. Using a big brush, I soaped up the window and aimed the nozzle at a web, then pulled the handle with all my strength. The web held firm. I need more water pressure, I thought. After turning the pressure to its fullest, I sprayed again. Still nothing.

Closer. I need to be closer. I used a stepladder to get closer to the web. This tactic only got me wetter, but did not bring down the web. It was strong and stubborn, unwilling to succumb to my pressure. I want faith like that spider web--a faith that can withstand pressure: low, high and nearby.

The strength and tenacity of the web intrigued me, so I researched the phenomenon and discovered three facts about spider webs.

Fact 1: Spider web is two words, not one. This is not spiritually relevant information--but good to know.

Fact 2: Tensile strength (TS) is defined as the maximum stress a material can withstand when stretched or pulled before breaking. The TS of spider silk is greater than the same weight of steel and has just as much, if not more, elasticity.

Fact 3: It is not uncommon for a spider web to be 20 times the size of the spider building it. I want a faith bigger than I am so when the storms come, I won't be destroyed. In a strong wind, I can bend but won't be blown away.

How does your faith withstand the pressures of life? The Bible promises we can "grow powerful in union with the Lord, in union with his mighty strength!" (Ephesians 6:10- CJB). Our faith can be bigger than we are, unwavering and able to withstand the harsh storms of life. We can build a strong faith by dedicating ourselves to the purpose of knowing God. This means spending time in His Word, staying focused on what it says and allowing its truth to strengthen us from the inside out. Making God's Word the hub of our faith will keep us strong when the pressures of life try to bring us down.

I'm still not comfortable with spiders, but I do admire their tenacity to stay the course and build a strong home. That's what I want--a strong home where the Lord will dwell. Yes indeed! I want faith like a spider web.

--Wendy Pope

Be sure to enter Wendy's giveaway. She has 10 copies of Wait & See ready and waiting to send to readers. Email: wendypope.org

You can also send me your joke and enter today's wacky giveaway, for a Funny Nose Pencil Sharpener, click here.

June 09, 2017

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

Next week is a week of Funnies at the Book Club. Heard a good joke lately? Send it this way. I'll be sharing jokes with readers, along with a wacky giveaway every day. If you've already sent me a joke, you're automatically entered in Monday's drawing for a Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet. There's a new wacky giveaway every day next week and you can enter each day. Send your joke and enter Monday's drawing, click here.

To get us in the mood, here's a funny column I wrote a few years ago after a bad cold. Although hurricanes are no laughing matter, I hope you enjoy my take on Hurricane Beauford...

I tried to write a normal column today about something going on in my world, but instead, I kept coming back to this topic--blowing my nose.

Mother said I should always tell the truth and perhaps today is one of those times when a little white lie would make for more respectable reading material. But I was sick for over two weeks with a horrible virus and truthfully, blowing my nose is still one of the major activities in my day. There's an art to it. I've become an expert and I feel a responsibility to pass on the things I've learned to others. Mother taught me to share, too.

Okay, so some readers are ready to hit the delete key, figuring I'm still ravaged with fever, sick, and out-of-my-mind. Others are flush with embarrassment, imagining the details I'd need to use to describe such a personal, possibly disgusting topic and some readers--are this very minute--looking around to see if anyone is reading over their shoulder--they're embarrassed--but intrigued.

It started out with a sniffle, a dainty event--my Grandmother's lace hankie would have sufficed. But mid-way through the virus, I had to pull out the big artillery; a man-sized tissue in one hand and the other hand firmly braced against a wall, a car, or the person next to me--whatever was handy at the moment. Because my nose blowing had now reached wind speeds high enough to be classified as a Category One Hurricane, according to the Saffir-Simpson Scale.

Beauford (every hurricane has a name) was scary. The noise was deafening, long and loud hair-raising honks, grab another tissue, and come up for air. It was never ending. How could anyone produce such great quantities? A big blow from Beauford and my three cats and even my husband hid under the bed. When I ventured out to stock up on supplies, children screamed and ran from me in horror, but nevertheless, I needed to be prepared.

Getting ready to tackle Beauford was a lot like getting ready for hurricane season here in Florida. The two have things in common.

SUZANNE'S HURRICANE/ BEAUFORD CHECKLIST

* Stock up on tissue and chicken soup (I'm not kidding, my doctor wrote on his prescription pad the name of a restaurant that had great take-out chicken soup with matzo-balls).

* Blow out gentle puffs, but cover your windows with sturdy 5/8 inch thick sheets of plywood, so you're ready if the big one comes.

* Keep your mouth slightly open when it's time for the big blow to prevent damage to your ear drums, and store loose items so they won't blow away.

May 09, 2017

This month's Penguin Classics book is Passing, by Nella Larsen. Click here to start reading, and be sure to enter the drawing for your chance to win a Penguin tote bag, just like mine.

"Why do cats do it?"

I don't know. But when my husband and I are returning from a walk, if he reaches the side porch of our house first and yells back, "Don't come here Suzanne, just wait on the sidewalk..."

I know Cooper, the stray cat we took into our home, has done it again.

Scruffy, skinny, and standing in front of our door looking for a handout, the first time we met Cooper he was afraid, but even more hungry. Too skinny for surgery (Cooper wasn't neutered), I fattened him up with turkey and gravy bits for a week, then lured him into an animal rescue cage, using stinky sardines as bait, and took him to the vet to get "fixed."

I've trapped numerous feral cats and had them fixed through the local rescue program. Most cats are anxious to head back outdoors as soon as the anesthesia wears off, but not Cooper. So I spread newspapers out on the floor and let him recuperate in a big, roomy cage. Three days later Cooper was ready to leave the cage, but not our house. After he stepped out of the cage, he casually walked into my bedroom, jumped up on the bed, curled-up on my quilt and he's been part of our family ever since.

Every person in a family should contribute and Cooper's decided he should be one of the bread-winners. Now if he could bake a loaf of crusty sourdough bread (one of my favorites), I'd be appreciative. But Cooper seems to feel he needs to provide the main course, and he serves-it-up on the doormat on our side porch.

Yuck! "Why does he do that?"

My husband says leaving "dinner" on the side porch is Cooper's way of showing love. It's a "thank you" gift. He's trying to help support the household. But it's really hard to be grateful. So instead of scolding Cooper, I had a little chat with him the other day.

"Listen-up Cooper. There's plenty of food to go around, you don't need to bring a dish to pass when you come to dinner. If you really want to help, how about learning how to wash dishes instead?"

May 04, 2017

KIDSBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But a banana a day keeps the bump away.

Yes, I've got a bump on the bottom of one foot and a bump on the side of my other foot. My doctor told me the culprit is a w***. Can't even bring myself to say the word. It just doesn't sound appealing. Sounds contagious and frightening. Reminds me of children's fairy tales, where the witch had a big, ugly w*** on her nose--witches have always frightened me. I was an only child, and when my parents would go over to the relative's house to play cards, I'd have to sit in front of the TV--alone. No one else brought their kids. One Sunday evening, when my parents plunked me down in front of the black and white, they insisted I'd love the movie The Wizard of Oz. Well I didn't. It frightened the bejeebers out of me, and to this day whenever I see a witch costume, or even a drawing of a witch I head the other way. The Wicked Witch of the West flying through the air with a big w**t on her nose--the movie was a nightmare for me.

But I digress. Back to those irritating bumps on my feet, or as my doctor technically explained, the cause is a very common viral infection, the culprit being a strain called human papillomavirus. Now that I see the serious sounding medical terminology typed on my computer screen, the word 'wart' isn't looking so bad, and it doesn't seem like such a big deal. Especially since a home remedy, a piece of banana peel taped over top of the bumps, "Should clear up the problem," my doctor told me.

So every day for a week now, I've kept a piece of banana taped to each of my feet (over top of the warts), and I have to say the home remedy my doctor told me about--I think it's a winner. The warts are starting to disappear and as an added bonus, my feet have a nice fruity scent--no stinky feet for this girl.

If you're not a fan of bananas, there are other home remedies experts offer, though some 'are' stinky and some are just plain weird...

Squirt garlic oil on your wart, then cover it up with a bandage overnight for two to three weeks. That's the stinky one.

And this is the weird one, use chalk and Super Glue. Home remedy experts say to rub your wart with chalk and then cover it with Super glue--it cuts off the oxygen supply to your wart. 'Super glue? And just how am I going to get the Super Glued sock off my foot?'

Like Italian food? Another sure-cure remedy is to tape basil instead of a banana peel over top of the wart.

And here's the weirdest one of all, if you want to show your wart who's boss, before you brush your teeth--spit on it! Yes, that's right. Spit on that wart! Because your saliva has an antiviral agent to fight warts, eventually you'll win the battle.

In the meantime, smelling like banana bread seems to be working for me. It's become so routine that everyday after I take my bath I announce to my husband, "I have to go banana-up!"

April 21, 2017

KIDSBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

Dear Reader,

"Where is it? What did I do with it?"

It's not where I think it should be. But my husband assures me that "knowing-where-it-should-be," is the key to finding it. His theory: "Everything you lose is within 22 inches of where you think it should be."

Well get the tape measure! Because I bought "The Hunt is On" embroidered T-shirts for my grandchildren to wear one year for the big Easter Egg Hunt I was organizing in our yard, but then when it was getting closer to the big day, I couldn't remember where I put the shirts. Ordering early was supposed to assure organization, but now organization is biting me in the butt, perhaps only 22 inches away from my behind, but nevertheless I had only19 days to find those shirts.

Everyone has an opinion about how to find something you've lost. There are as many find-it solutions, as cures for silencing the hiccups. (By the way, if you're hiccupping right now, get a pencil and a glass of water. Stir the pencil in the water [like a swizzle stick], then gently bite on the pencil [like a stick between your teeth] and slowly drink the water. Hiccups cured!) Now back to finding what I'd lost.

My solution to remember, 'Think back Suzanne (one of the more popular theories), where were you standing when you had those T-shirts in your hand?' It was all coming back to me. I could see myself holding the T-shirts, thinking I needed to hide them real good, so the grandkids wouldn't accidentally find them. And I clearly remember putting the T-shirts somewhere I don't normally hide things, but everything after that is a blur.

Psychologists advise that talking out loud is the prevention and the cure, for finding what you've lost. Talk to yourself when you're putting something away, "I'm putting my keys in the drawer of my desk." And then when you can't find your keys, you're supposed to pick up the conversation, "I'm looking for my keys. I wonder where I put them?" If your keys actually respond, make an immediate appointment with one of those psychologists.

Umm, I feel the spirit...perhaps what you're looking for doesn't want to be found? Or another one-with-the-earth approach: Maybe it's not suppose to be in your life and that's why it left?

Or (my favorite) you could take Ann Lander's suggestion: "The best way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement."

KIDS BUZZ: Readers have called Spirit Quest "perfect for a book slump" and "a good read for any middle grader/young teen." Find out for yourself! For a chance to win a FREE copy of Spirit Quest by Jennifer Frick-Ruppert, say hello to authors and more, see KIDSBUZZ.

AUTHORBUZZ:The Life and Times of Persimmon Wilson (Fiction) by Nancy Peacock

For fans of Cold Mountain and The Invention of Wings an epic journey of a slave-turned-Comanche warrior who travels from the brutality of a New Orleans sugar cane plantation to the indomitable frontier of an untamed Texas, searching not only for the woman he loves but so too for his own identity.

Go to AUTHORBUZZ click on THE LIFE AND TIMES OF PERSIMMON WILSON to read more and to email author Nancy Peacock, you'll get a reply.