Fri, 16 Nov 2018 20:27:23 -0800WeeblyFri, 16 Nov 2018 22:34:48 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/the-prison-of-pretenseWhen I was younger, it felt like all of life was suffering.

It took me decades to recognize that most of the world values pretense above honesty, and that penchant for pretense was painful to me because I could feel the separation and isolation it creates from oneself and between people. I could feel the subsequent longing for connection that arises as a byproduct of pretense, and the desperate seeking for anything to feed the insatiable hunger the presence of connection would otherwise nourish.

Here's what I’ve come to know about living in a world that values pretense. Valuing pretense means you have to hide you from yourself. You have to hide what is important to you from yourself in order to make the things that are important to everyone else be important to you too. The consensus dictates what is supposed to be important, what you should care about and how you should behave. When you make pretense more important than honesty, your life becomes a lie. You have to lie to yourself constantly to perpetuate the pretense of caring about what everyone else thinks should matter.

Most of my life, I perpetrated an estrangement from myself because I tried to ignore what matters to me in order to live more like everyone else. Somewhere I thought if I could fit in better, then life would feel less painful. It felt too scary to reveal what I actually value because if the majority of the world values something else, well then there must be something wrong with me for wanting something different.

After years of inner reflection, I came to realize that the thing I have always wanted is to live in the raw vulnerability that accompanies true connection, the kind of connection that can only exist in the space of fully unprotected and transparent honesty. It’s only possible to live in this space with others when I can live in this space with myself. I’ve been practicing for years, and the journey is constantly filled with new revelations of where I was still hiding behind the protection of pretense. Each revelation has been an invitation to strip away more of the lies I was telling myself, and heal the suffering of estrangement I learned to believe was normal and simply must be endured.​Here’s the thing. It’s easier to value pretense over honesty. Pretense lets you off the hook from being honest with yourself, something which takes great courage in a world that doesn’t support that kind of deviance from the status quo. Pretense allows us to hide behind what’s appropriate rather than reveal what’s real. As long as we all agree to value pretense, then no one need ever be vulnerable. Pretense provides a predetermined set of societal standards and rules to live by as a permissible form of protection so no one has to divulge anything that might meet disapproval.

Being honest requires us to break from the socially engineered consensus of pretense, and commit to living more experientially present in the moment rather than always entranced by our thoughts about how things should be.

As I continue to elevate the value of honesty in my life, I heal the estrangement from myself that was the source of much suffering. I discover an unconditional sense of well-being. Suffering fades replaced by peace free from any need to protect, prove that I belong or need to be understood.

Perhaps you would care to join me in renouncing the importance of pretense, and discover for yourself what living can be like when you instead foster honesty in its place. ]]>Tue, 03 Jul 2018 12:40:00 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/the-path-to-least-resistanceThe closer you are to the brink of liberation, the more constricted by resistance you're likely to feel. You're likely to feel uncontrollably compelled to do something to stop the increasing intensity of discomfort and find some relief. We tend to believe that when things get hard we should try harder, work harder, do more to overcome and rid ourselves of what feels overwhelmingly difficult. What if the key to change is in doing nothing at all? What if the alchemy actually lies in the being rather than the doing?

I used to confuse letting go with giving up. I had two modes of operating---push onward with great effort or give up, which inevitably led to despair. After decades of living in despair, I mostly ditched the despair of giving up in favor of pushing onward no matter how hard the struggle seemed to get. The "Little Engine That Could," right? I will not give up!

Yet after more years of exhausting struggle, to my surprise, I discovered that letting go is not the same as giving up. I discovered that letting go, which eerily looked a lot like giving up, was actually about letting go of the struggle, the fight, the defense and the resistance that was so familiar and habitual, a compensatory strategy that took hold during a stress filled childhood feeling alone and unsupported.

No one knows exactly what to do all the time. Throughout life, we are confronted by experiences we feel completely unprepared for, the trauma of which can often leave us frozen in feelings of inadequacy. In the wake of those experiences, we tend to close off from life little by little until we reside hidden, isolated and separate behind a fortress of unconscious protective defenses. We do more and feel less believing that if we could just get the doing right, we won’t ever have to feel all the things we protect ourselves from feeling.

Over the course of a lifetime, we accumulate a reservoir of unfelt emotion that becomes like a pressure cooker inevitably seeking release. Yet in closing ourselves off from life, resistance and control have become the habit, which only further contribute to the building pressure of overwhelm, frustration, increasing paralysis and forced doing. Feeling familiar?

After 20 years of personal exploration into the realms of transformation, this I have learned. You can’t force alchemy. You can’t do alchemy. That’s just more of the same effort perpetuating more of the same struggle in resistance. But if you let it, alchemy will undo you. If you let go and allow the process, it will wind its way into your most unconscious patterns of self-protection and preservation. If you let go, it will recalibrate your nervous system naturally releasing the internal pressure of so much unfelt.

It is my honor to accompany clients on this journey through the uncharted territory of transformation. Uncharted as it may be, paved by doubt and uncertainty, there will be revealed something steadfastly present as an illuminating beacon guiding the way---the enduring, insurmountable essence of you. I don’t mean the altered version of you adopted to make yourself more palatable to the preferences of others. I mean the unique, creative expression that only you have the power to be in the world before it felt like the world demanded that you change to suit it.

The unadulterated essence of you has always been ready and available for your attention. Yet somewhere along the way, we started to believe the only attention that mattered came from outside, from others who had the power to validate our value and assess our worth. Only then when approval was bestowed by others could we believe that we mattered to anyone or had the right to claim our place in the world.

When you’re ready, you can let go of all that. When you’re ready, you can let go of the striving, let go of the struggling, let go of the proving and let go of the need to preserve and protect an identity that doesn’t even remotely reflect the radiance of your true nature.

I guarantee the journey won’t be anything you can predict, and you may become unrecognizable to yourself. Along the way you will likely claim a sense of personal power and autonomy that arises unconstrained from within and elevates your trust in you above the chatter of other’s points of view about you. You emerge as the sovereign ruler of your life not because you require control over a world that feels threatening to you, but because you live in harmony with life trusting it’s abundance, trusting your resourcefulness and resilience, and grounded in your capacity to create from a space that no longer requires submission to outer authority.

Sound too good to be true? It can be your reality if you’re ready to let go of the countless insidious ways you rely on resistance to uphold and stabilize the structure of your identity and life ensuring things don’t really change. ​It’s not for everyone, and definitely not for the faint of heart. But for those who feel the call, it’s perhaps the most rewarding choice you could ever make. ]]>Wed, 28 Feb 2018 19:40:52 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/dont-play-telephone-with-your-body-fieldIn my last blog, I introduced the first of four energetic systems in the body-field identified in a NES bioenergetic scan---the Energetic Drivers. The Drivers, as the powerhouses of the body-field, are crucial for strong and vitally healthy organs and organs systems in the body. Information, and the accurate communication of that information throughout the body, are equally important.

The communication of information in the body-field is governed by the Energetic Integrators, which are the second energetic system identified in a NES bioenergetic scan. There are twelve Energetic Integrators that direct and regulate information transfer in the body-field, and by extension among the DNA and cells of the body. The information they orchestrate relates to a range of aspects in the body from the physical movement of elements through cells and tissues all the way to things as abstract as emotions.

You can think of the Energetic Integrators as the information super highways of the body-field. They provide the information that allows cells to work properly, and they ensure that the right information gets to the right place in the body at the right time. Although each of the twelve Energetic Integrators covers specific kinds of information, as a whole they form a network that keeps the body-field functioning as a seamless web of information exchange.

The Energetic Integrators make up an exquisitely organized system in which minute changes can result in major effects in the body-field and body. The Integrators work like a Swiss watch, very accurately, which is a condition necessary to health and to life itself. If information is distorted in any of the twelve Integrators, activities and processes in the physical body become affected and may result in symptoms of disease.

The longer a small distortion in your body-field goes unchecked in the network of Integrators, the higher the likelihood that the distortion will become larger and work its way through the layers of the field to affect the physical body. The body is very adaptable and flexible, so it can deal with small distortions, but as a message becomes more and more distorted, the body is less able to understand and use that information.

It’s rather like the game of telephone that children play. One person whispers a message, “You are an energy being” into the ear of another person, who whispers it to still another person and so on through a line of dozens of people. When the message is whispered back to the first person, it can bear little or no resemblance to the original message. “You are an energy being” has become “Your car has an engine ping.” The longer the chain of people (the longer a distortion is left unchecked in your body-field), the higher the probability the message will be distorted. Ultimately, the message becomes so scrambled that the body can no longer compensate, so physiology breaks down and the symptoms of disease may result.

As a complementary health care professional, I advocate for and promote the value of preventive wellness care. When energetic distortions become so disruptive that they affect the physical body, it may take a long time to correct the problem. It makes more sense to correct energy and information distortions before they affect the physical body, and disease symptoms begin to impair healthful living.

Information can be distorted for any number of reasons---physical or emotion shock and trauma, toxins, microbes, parasites, bacteria and fungi, ionizing radiation, x-rays, microwaves, poor nutrition, geopathic stress, and so on. Although the body-field is sensitive to the impact of both internal and external disruptors, it is also a robust system that responds well to self-healing stimuli. With NES Infoceutical remedies, corrective information is directly introduced to the body-field activating the body’s self-healing response to restore it’s natural state of optimal functioning and homeostasis.

As it’s been said, a picture is worth a thousand words. So, contact me if you would like to schedule a complimentary demonstration (from anywhere in the world via Zoom) to see this cutting edge bioenergetic technology for yourself! ]]>Sat, 17 Feb 2018 21:26:16 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/the-major-systems-of-the-body-field-part-iAlbert Einstein said, "There is no place in this new kind of physics (quantum physics) for both the field and matter, for the field is the only reality." What did he mean by that?

Energy governs matter. Matter cannot govern itself.

At our most fundamental level, we are not a chemical reaction but an energetic charge. All living things are a coalescence of energy in a field of energy connected to every other thing in the world, and this pulsating energy field is the central engine of our being and our consciousness.

The body-field is the central organizing force governing our bodies. It is this body-field, rather than germs or genes, that determines whether we are healthy or ill. It is this force which must be tapped in order to heal.

The NES bionenergetic scan breaks the body-field down into four dynamic systems--Energetic Drivers, Energetic Integrators, Energetic Stars and Energetic Terrains.

In the weeks ahead, I will be giving a brief overview of each of the body-field's major energetic systems to assist you in understanding their prime importance in optimal wellness.

Today, I'll start with Energetic Drivers.

The Energetic Drivers are the powerhouses of the body-field. There are sixteen individual Driver fields, which together power the full body-field. Each major organ or organ system---the heart, nervous system, liver, thyroid, skin and so on---produces its own energy and information Driver field. If a Driver field weakens, the organ system itself becomes compromised.

These Driver fields power, or drive, our body. If an organ field loses power, it is like a battery running down. Without the energy and information it needs to do It’s job, that organ begins to work less efficiently, but because it’s job in the body is crucial for vital health, the organ will put up a fight. It will work harder and harder to try to keep going---expending more and more of its dwindling energy supply faster and faster---and as a result of that struggle and stress, things begin to break down. Without the energy it needs, the organ will finally become seriously compromised and begin to malfunction or even shut down. As that happens, other organs of the body and bioenergetic system of the body-field will try to compensate, and then they too can begin to lose power. The loss of the integrity of your Driver fields can result in a cascade of problems in the body.

The health problems that correlate to a deficient Driver field can be associated with that particular organ, or they can seem entirely unrelated. That’s because bioenergetic physiology has more to do with Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) than Western allopathic medicine. An organ, such as the liver, can be connected via energetic circuits (called meridians in TCM) to many other areas of the body including the heart, gallbladder, eyes, toes, jaw muscles, teeth and many other seemingly unconnected parts of the body. If your Liver Driver becomes depleted, you may find yourself experiencing problems in your eyesight or with your jaw muscles. Bioenergetically, it’s because of a malfunctioning liver energy channel that people with gout often experience swelling of their big toe. The logic of many diseases defies explanation by allopathic medical standards, but makes perfect sense by TCM and bioenergetic standards.

Driver fields become compromised for all kinds of reasons, from prolonged emotional stress, to exposure to toxins or pathogens, to genetic defects and chemical imbalances, to your body’s misalignment with Earth fields. NES Health has sixteen Energetic Driver Infoceuticals that can strengthen the Driver fields to restore the energy and information your body-field requires for vital health.

Each different aspect of the body-field has it's own major function, which contributes to keeping you healthy in it's own specific way. Together they restore and promote optimal wellness allowing you and your body to thrive.

Are you curious what a NES bioenergetic scan can reveal about the strengths and weaknesses of your body-field? Contact me to schedule a complimentary demonstration via Zoom.

]]>Wed, 03 Jan 2018 14:27:44 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/welcome-to-2018Being at ease requires no effort. It's something you simply receive in the absence of resistance to anything.​Resistance, on the other hand, requires enormous effort. The byproduct of resistance is often exhaustion, feeling like "I'm so tired of......" You fill in the blank.

What is asking to change in your life? Where is resistance revealing itself to you through a lack of motivation, or feeling like you just can't go on with the way things are?

Change requires a willingness---meaning courage and vulnerability---to experience difference, being and doing things different. Yet, we often feel like we don't know how to be different or do different things. So, we cling to the familiar of what has always been. It seems so much easier anyway.

The key to difference is to create space for what is emergent. Don't keep your attention fixed on what has always been. Look for what wants to come into play. It may be only a whisper at first, but it's there.

Be where you are, and simply begin as many times as necessary. Be curious. What have you been clinging to for safety? What needs to be released from your grasp? Where do your reasons, points of view, identifications, conclusions and assumptions keep you feeling stuck? Where is letting go required for something greater to emerge?

Trust. Trust that you will find a new way, YOUR way of being and doing that is not relevant to anything or anyone else. Seeking validation is futile, for it will only lead you back to the safety of the familiar and you already know what that feels like.Will you allow your innate inspiration to be reignited within you? Budding inspiration cannot blossom and flourish if you cling to your old reasons and justifications for how and why things must be as they are and have always been.

What would be possible if you allowed something unprecedented in your life to emerge and live through you? Who would you be? What would you choose? What contribution would you create that has yet to be imagined?

You're ready. Whatever it is that wants to come into play through you, know and trust that you're ready. The world is ready, and now is the time. Bring on 2018!]]>Tue, 20 Jun 2017 23:35:04 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/fearing-your-painWhat does living at the effect of pain cost you?

Creating a different experience in life other than the one you're having requires change. Change involves challenging what is familiar, and daring to question traditional needs for safety, comfort and control.

If you interpret change as painful, and have trained yourself to avoid pain at all cost, it is likely you will never allow yourself to choose the different experience you desire due to your habitual avoidance of pain.

Rather than take responsibility by acknowledging your innate capacity to create change, you will likely instead create elaborate and justifiably valid reasons for blaming someone or something else for what you can't have.

Letting pain hold you hostage, through a total refusal to feel it, most often results in feeling powerless. Feeling powerless leads to feeling incapable of having what you desire, which serves to compound and validate your collected accumulation of pain. The closed loop circuitry is then complete, and a seemingly endless repetition of unchanging ground hog days plays out in your life, which you then use to reinforce your negation of the possibility that things could ever change.

What's the antidote? Choice. Your choice to stop living at the effect of pain by avoiding it at all cost. Your choice to stop imagining pain to be a giant too great to face. Your choice to surrender the immense control you use to hold pain at bay, and discover the powerful alchemy of receiving what you feel.

You just might find that pain is actually not nearly as frightening as you believe it to be. Yet, only you can know if taking the risk to change is worth it.

I am incredibly excitable and naturally enthusiastic about things that make me feel alive that I enjoy, and I genuinely desire to share that joy with others. When that exuberance was not received by others---no matter the reason---I interpreted that to mean something about me. I must be wrong for giving too much. They way I give must be ineffective, inadequate. Or else, why would they refuse it?

Slowly, over time, I decided it was too painful to express, share and be naturally joyful because all too often I was met with not being received. And, that hurt. So, I shut the exuberant giving down. I closed myself off and kept it suppressed, which I have come to learn has been the source of great suffering in my life. I know now that what others won't receive is not about me. It never was.

Those who close themselves off from life believe they are protecting themselves from the wounding that comes from "out there." But, is that truly the source of our pain? Does it really come from "out there?"​I remember being open and giving when I was younger, and with such ease. It matters not why I shut that down. It only matters that I can choose now to be open, and unleash my desire to give, share and be a beacon of possibility for ALL to see whether they receive it or not.Today I'm showing up shining. And, grateful for it.]]>Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:00:28 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/i-just-want-them-to-be-happy-tamara-younkerWanting more for others than they want for themselves, or projecting our choices for our life onto others as if that is what they should choose too, is a recipe for misery. Our simple joy in living is an offering to others that demonstrates there is a different possibility.

Some will choose joy too, and some will remain embedded in protecting that which causes their suffering. Allowance of their choice to suffer is a gift to both us and them. It doesn't dismiss them or the "reality" of their suffering. It actually honors their choice and in the space of that honoring, they have the freedom to choose something different whenever THEY are ready to do so.

How often does forcing your point of view of what others should choose work anyway, even when what you sincerely desire is for them to be happy? Then do you suffer too because their refusal of happiness doesn't make sense to you? Does it need to make sense to you? Is it really about you?​I chose to protect that which caused me suffering too...until I didn't. And now, I am immeasurably grateful for my courage to be a pioneer of possibility beyond the consensus belief that suffering is inevitable and we have no choice but to endure it. Will you join me?]]>Thu, 13 Aug 2015 05:20:06 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/but-whyDo you ever think that if you could just figure out why you do or choose something that is troublesome to you that you could finally change it? What if asking why is simply an unanswerable question?

The thing is when you question why, you are generally just seeking to validate or invalidate a judgment you have already made and there is really no relief to be had in that. Any reason and justification for why that you find acceptable simply serves to pacify the mind in its constant need to secure control. The only reason there really ever is for anything you choose is simply because you can. Searching for why is one of the main ways to keep you hooked into the causal incarnations, incarcerations and incongruities of a limited causal reality. So if why is not the key to change, then what? For years I have said that allowance is the lubricant of change. It can ease you out of the stuck spots that nothing else seems to release. The thing about allowance is that it's an energy of BEing that functions beyond the understanding of the mind, which needs for things to make sense in a logical way to maintain a sense of "safety." Allowance can't operate from mind. Mind operates from judgment. Being in allowance of the choices of others, and your own, is not something to be understood. It's a choice to be made in honor of them, and you. Allowance is a gift we give to ourselves in the space of non-judgment, and there we may discover the ease and peace that a judgment permeated reality will likely never know. So, I wonder. What gift of allowance can you be today? What kindness can you be for YOU? ]]>Fri, 07 Aug 2015 00:01:24 GMThttp://www.accessinfinitebeing.com/tamaras-blog/the-end-of-compromise-radical-relationshipDid you learn that compromise and consensus are the holy grail of relationship? What if compromise indicates resignation? What if the best that can be hoped for from compromise is satisfaction? Is that the most you would like to create and receive in your relationships---satisfaction? Not me. I desire more.

Throughout my childhood, I heard my mother say over and over again, “Marriage is a compromise. Marriage is a compromise.” Every time she said it, my blood boiled. I wanted to scream at her. “Why does marriage have to be a compromise?!” But, that kind of questioning was not allowed in my household. My assigned right and proper role was to align and agree with all declarations delivered. As a child, I was little more than a prop in my parent’s reality expected solely to follow along in their well-worn footsteps like a good little obedient devotee. Nothing original beyond the approved script of thinking and behavior was ever allowed. But, I digress.

Compromise and consensus offer little more than to pacify, especially when we have bought into these objectives as the proper way todorelationship. How much of you do you have to cut off in order to compromise? What must you give up to always align and agree in consensus? But then again, isn’t it selfish to NOT compromise? Let’s look at that.

The strategy of compromise is installed quite young, and most people don’t doubt its utility. It goes unquestioned. It’s simply understood. It’s what we do. Anyone who appears to be choosing otherwise is quickly shamed by others as, “Selfish!” It’s as if the worst kind of viciousness perpetrated against others is to choose and live a self-directed life. What arrogance! Selfish, as a manipulatively degrading label of shame, quite often does the trick to get the offending rebel back into line with the rest of the obedient lemmings so proud of their proficiency in proving how well they can follow the objective of selflessness. After all, that’s how you get validation and praise, isn’t it? And, how dreadful our fate to be dismissively disregarded and deprived of the coveted stamp of approval from others to know we’ve done a good job getting it right. Where then would we get the love and affection we need? It’s a dilemma many people face daily as they strive to survive their destiny bound to run on the endlessly effortful hamster wheel of do-to-get.

So, what has any of this to do with compromise? When we compromise, it often indicates we have given up on the infinitely generous gift of possibility. We have concluded there is no other way, but to compromise. It’s the ultimate problem solver. Compromise is the way to keep the peace, and make everyone happy. That irrefutable truth has been imprinted on us since childhood, hasn’t it? Compromise has become normal, even expected. But, keep the peace at what expense? Is compromise truly the prize winning cure for conflict, or does it simply mask the symptoms of resignation and acquiescence that indicate something destructive is being ignored? Who actually gets to be happy in a compromise anyway? Is anyone genuinely happy at all? Or, are any glad feelings really more the consequence of not having been the one to compromise this time. Because you know you’re keeping score to ensure you are not on the losing end of the compromise too many times. It has to be fair, right? I can’t help but wonder. Is the best to be hoped for in relationship a vigilant determination not to lose coupled with a constant effort to keep things fair? That’s exhausting!

That used to be my reality. Though it made my blood boil every time my mother told me marriage was a compromise, it’s what I learned and I didn’t know any other way. So, I compromised. I compromised me, and I compromised my desires. Asking for more, or anything different, wasn’t even an option that occurred to me. That would be a betrayal of the all mighty directive to compromise! I was taught that compromise was a dutiful way of showing gratitude for all I had been given. So, I didn’t ask. And because I didn’t ask, any natural capacity I had to receive atrophied from neglect. If you don’t ask, you don’t receive.

You may have never considered that compromise is a way of refusing receiving. It’s the most prominent way of ensuring we never receive the relationships and life we truly desire. We compromise us, and our desires, and then wonder why things seem so hard and life doesn’t work the way we would like.

So, I wonder. What would be possible in your relationships, and in your life, if you stopped believing you had to compromise? Are you willing to receive all of YOU, and more?

I work with clients around the world assisting them to create lives beyond compromise. I have no interest in offering simple tips and tricks to soothe and smooth over the painful struggle of trying to make a relationship paradigm work that doesn’t, and never will as long as you are compromising you. The time has come to design relationships in a completely different and radical way that always includes you.

Don't sell yourself short. Joy filled relationships don't have to be out of reach. You CAN have ALL you desire, and it would be my pleasure to guide you in creating and having just that.