The 8 F's

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Three Words I Long To Hear

Today I am struggling with keeping my mouth shut. Who am I kidding...I struggle with this EVERYDAY! Why do I desire to say, "No, that's not right," to my husband about 50 times a day? Why is it so hard to let it go? Does it matter who is right and who is wrong I tell myself? My ego is screaming YEEESSSS! But my heart is quietly whispering no, it doesn't matter. How do I feel when I am told I am wrong? I feel hurt, adversarial, indignant. I tend to become argumentative with a desire to justify myself, my ego. That's the same way most everyone feels when they are told they are wrong.
What is a better way to deal with my ego? What is a good attitude to adopt when confronted? What should I do when I desire to let someone else know they are wrong? My Mom used to say, "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." We've all heard that before, but how many of us actually do it? I actually tried it out this morning. I have kept quiet before, but it always feels like a volcano about to explode! It is one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. Anyway, I tried it this morning, kept my mouth shut. But, I gave him "the look". You know what I mean...actions speak louder than words. "The look" said, "You are wrong!" Us women are really good at "the look". It is passed down from daughter to daughter. Ha! It's like a 6-shooter. We draw, aim and shoot all in one motion!
Whether I use words or "the look", neither makes the other person feel like a person worthy of my love. I love my husband and feel he is worthy to be loved. God gave us His son, to prove his love for us. How hard then should it be for me to love my husband with my words? Without giving him "the look". The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves, to love our enemies, to bite our tongues. It is part of our fallen nature, having eaten from the tree of knowledge, to desire to be right. I long to hear, "YOU ARE RIGHT".
In this dog eat dog world we are constantly justifying ourselves, our ideas, our actions, our attitudes and our words. Our desire to be right overcomes all logical reasoning at times. I have found myself in the midst of arguments that I no longer knew what I was arguing about. I have found myself persuaded but too stubborn to concede or admit I was wrong, or that there were errors in my logic. It's even difficult to write it on paper, W-R-O-N-G. Eeeek!
Why not give it a try ? Why not treat others as I want to be treated? Speak to others with an attitude of loving my neighbor as myself. Let them know they are right!RESOLUTIONToday I am going to keep my mouth shut. I won't tell anyone they are wrong. I won't point out their trivial errors. And if told I am wrong, I will politely and without malice or sarcasm say the three words I long to hear myself, "You are right."