Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2005 14:17:11 +0100 (BST)
From: Jezebel
Subject: Star Encounter 2
Title: Star Encounter
Author: Jezebel
Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this
has no element of truth to it. This is no reflection on their true
sexualities or personalities of any people mentioned.. If you are underage
for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go
somewhere else, if you don't like the thought of two men together in a
loving, sexual way this isn't for you either.
***
Part 2 - More Than Just a Simple Thank You.
Josh didn't know what was wrong with his best friend, Justin should have
been looking forward to his 21st birthday instead of terrified as it approached.
It seemed as if Justin was blossoming into the young man that they all knew
he had the potential to be and that the best years of his career were ahead of
him. "No Strings Attached" had been Josh's album, his chance to shine, but
they all knew that "Celebrity" was Justin's baby.
He had written three of the best songs on the album and it stood to reason
that these would be the singles that they released. Everyone expected it to
do well and so it was no surprise that it went straight into number one but
what was a surprise was Justin's reaction to it. Justin seemed more and more
scared as their fame grew.
Josh thought that going out for Justin's 21st was the best idea for the kid. You
only turned 21 once in your life and despite the craziness of their schedule
they managed to book one night out to spend celebrating. They didn't think
that it would get this reaction.
"I can't." Justin said as he looked at the tickets that the five of them had
bought. "I don't want to go."
"Justin, you have all of his CD's." Chris reasoned. "I don't see why this
shouldn't be worth cancelling whatever it is you have planned."
"We know that you thought you'd be spending your birthday with Britney
but..."
"This has nothing to do with that." Justin argued. The others knew that he
and Britney had split up over Christmas but he was telling the truth when he
said it had nothing to do with his reasons for not wanting to go out.
"Justin, Josh went to a lot of trouble to get these tickets..." Lance said softly.
"You've been a fan for a long time and we thought that you'd like to go, but if
you don't want to..."
Justin let out a sigh, the tears brimming in his eyes were not helping. The
boys had all been great in the month since he and Britney had split up when
he refused to give her what she wanted. How could he say no to this without
telling them the truth?
"It's not that." Justin replied. "You all know that I really like Brandon's music,
it's just that I didn't want to have to perform on my birthday, being out with so
many celebrities and stuff isn't exactly the small party I had in mind."
"It's okay." Josh replied. "We can do something else. We'll do whatever you
want to do." He didn't care what they did, it didn't matter that the tickets had
cost him $5,000 he just wanted Justin to smile again.
"Come on, Jup, This is Brandon Taylor; the revival." Chris said animatedly.
"You'll be the first person to see him live in over two years."
'I was also the last'. Justin thought to himself gloomily.
"Okay." Justin found himself saying, just so that they would leave him alone.
"I'll go."
"Cool." Chris replied, ignoring the looks he was getting from all of the others.
Chris was a huge Brandon Taylor fan too and he had jumped at the chance to
be there for the small, exclusive charity function he was doing to relaunch his
career. Brandon had taken two years off and now he was back. The few
people that had heard the new music said that it was better than anything he
had done yet and Chris couldn't wait to see him. The only thing better than
that would be being able to take Justin with him. The kid was as much of a
fan as he was, or at least he had thought he was up until that night.
"Are you sure?" Josh asked worriedly.
"Yeah." Justin said with a sigh.
'He probably doesn't even remember me'. Justin thought to himself. The
others saw the look that passed over Justin's face and knew that he was lost
in his own world again, they knew to leave him alone when he was like this,
some of the best of his songs came out of this mood but it also worried them
that he was increasingly getting quiet and contemplative.
They had all hoped that this concert would be a chance for Justin to come out
of his shell but now they weren't so sure. Maybe Justin had just grown up and
they hadn't noticed.
***
Justin felt sick.
It was an odd feeling for someone that hadn't been nervous in years, in fact
the last time he had felt this way was when he was due to step out into a court
room where someone else would decide his future. It seemed odd that he
was feeling like that just for going to a concert.
Justin wondered if this was how his own fans felt when they went out. He
doubted that it was fear that would make them nervous, perhaps they were
made nervous by the excitement, but somehow Justin couldn't bring himself to
get excited about tonight.
"You nearly ready to go?" Chris called through the door to the bathroom and
Justin knew that his time was up. He washed his face with warm water, trying
to wash away the pale colour of his cheeks and the bags under his eyes from
lack of sleep.
"Pull yourself together." Justin said to his reflection and then snagged a towel,
drying off his face and taking a few deep breathes before turning towards the
door.
He was going out in public and he knew that he had to hold it together or else
everyone would know that he was going through something that he was not
ready to share with anyone. Thankfully his mother had taught him from an
early age how to face the world when you were suffering. He had needed it
when his parents split up and when he hadn't wanted to go out night after
night and perform when he was sick or tired, he pulled on the same mask
now.
And so when Justin exited the bathroom Chris barely noticed the smile that
didn't quite reach Justin's eyes and the pale colour of his friend.
"You look great." Chris assured Justin, thinking that this was probably why the
kid had spent so long in the bathroom. Justin was wearing sandy combat
pants and a pale beige shirt. It was not his usual attire but it suited him.
Justin smiled, thankful that despite having known him for years that even if
Chris knew he was upset that he would not question it.
"Where are the others?" Justin asked, wondering for a moment if they had
been abandoned. Josh and Lance weren't exactly into the same kind of
things as Justin and he wondered if they had begged off for a night out at a
jazz club instead.
"Lance and Joey are trying to get Josh to hurry it along." Chris said. "The pair
of you really are a couple of girls when it comes to going out."
"Hey, just because we take care of our appearance." Justin argued, eyeing
the 'street' clothes that Chris was wearing, a pair of jeans that had seen better
days and a shirt that probably cost $500 but looked as if it came from the
Goodwill.
"I'm a style icon." Chris said.
Justin rolled his eyes and opened the door trying to leave Chris alone in his
fantasy world. When he got into the corridor he saw that the others were
there and realised that his timing was good.
And so the five of them headed out for an evening that they hoped they would
never forget, it was Justin's 21st after all and they wanted it to be memorable.
None of them knew that this would end up being a case of 'Be careful what
you wish for, it might just come true.'
***
It was worse than Justin had expected. He had known that there would be a
lot of press attention at the come back gig but he had not expected
representatives from what seemed like every publication and channel in the
world. It seemed that everyone and his dog wanted to know about Brandon
Taylor's return, either that or it was a slow news period and they needed
something to fill the air time in the post Christmas rush.
There was only one way in, perhaps for security, and there was a red carpet
which hoped to get additional publicity for the charity aspect of the concert as
well as allowing those that were not famous to feel as if their $1000 a ticket
was well spent.
Justin and the others smiled and posed for cameras, signed autographs for
the fans that had turned out to star spot and all the while Justin felt his fake
smile getting heavier and harder to carry off. He was slowly dying inside as
he realised that Brandon would hear he had been there. Would the star think
that Justin still lamented him and that he was pining over that one night?
Would Brandon even care that he was there?
"Justin... Where is Britney tonight?" One journalist called, ignoring the fact that
everyone already thought they had split up. "Are the rumours of a split true?"
Justin sighed. He wasn't supposed to comment on the split, neither of them
had made a public statement and yet he felt like telling the journalist that yes,
he and Britney had split up and that she was probably off fucking one of her
dancers, or stage hands or anyone else that she could get her hands on. But
he just smiled and continued inside.
"You okay?" Josh asked as soon as they were out of the media spotlight and
inside the venue. Josh knew that Justin was a little sensitive over the break
up and wanted to make sure his friend was okay.
"Yeah." Justin replied. "The worst part of the evening is over."
"You up for a little partying now?" Joey asked.
Justin laughed lightly and nodded. It didn't matter what was going on in the
world or what had just happened, Joey was always up for a party.
The small venue was understated and if it wasn't for the fact that there was six
dozen photographers, film crews and journalists outside you might think that
this was just a normal concert. There was a display on one side, large
pictures of Brandon Taylor taken over the years, from his first album a decade
before to the last tour of Europe two years ago. There was no new pictures
though and Justin couldn't help but think that was to build the anticipation of
what they were about to see.
"It's smaller than I thought it would be." Chris mused. "More low key."
"I guess that is to justify the high ticket costs." Lance groused.
Josh smiled at that. Lance was the only one that would complain at how
much someone else had paid for their tickets. Josh had bought all five as his
gift to Justin and still Lance felt that he should be upset by it. No wonder out
of all of them Lance was the one with the most investments and the least
material possessions to show for his wealth.
"It's gonna be worth it." Chris replied.
"Can I see your tickets please?" Someone asked.
Justin looked up and realised that they had come to the front of the small
queue. He hadn't even realised that the doors to the small theatre were open.
Josh reached into his pocket and drew out the five tickets handing them over
and indicating that they were all together.
"Please be aware that there is no flash photography allowed within the
theatre. Also any recording equipment, cell phones or other similar devices
are to be left at reception. They will be returned to you after the show."
Josh wondered if this was to keep whatever they were about to hear secret or
if it was just because they wanted to sell extortionately high price memorabilia
after the event. Not that he had thought to bring a camera anyway. He
supposed that it was good business sense to ban this kind of equipment to
stop bootlegging but it still seemed a little mistrustful.
"We're clean." Joey joked as he moved forward.
The guard looked at him for a moment, as if checking if he could see anything
on Joey's person that would suggest otherwise. He obviously didn't see
anything because he removed the rope that kept the audience back from the
doors and allowed them through.
Justin took a deep breath and stepped forward into the theatre, wondering if it
would be strange to see it from this far back after he had spent most of his life
on the stage.
He hoped that he could at least enjoy the rest of the evening, after all, as he
had said to Josh, the worst part of it was over, wasn't it?
***
Brandon Taylor took to the stage to the most rapturous applause he could
remember hearing in such a small venue, it might have even been as loud as
some of the stadium concerts he had once played. It had been two years
since he had done this and he had been anxious of the reception that he
would get after such a long break, but it seemed he had nothing to worry
about. Granted these were people that had paid a lot to see him, he had sold
out in a few hours, but they were also some of his biggest critics, because he
knew that a lot of them were journalists and industry insiders who were
interested to know where he had been these last few years.
Brandon hoped that the new material he was there to present was good
enough for them and that it justified the break that he had taken.
"Thank you." Brandon said hoping that the crowd would die down a little.
There was a slight lull but it was still a little too loud so he continued. "Thank
you." He said again.
More people quieted this time and Brandon began again. His management
had told him that he had to speak a little before he started the concert, greet
his fans and introduce the new album, he wished that he could just launch into
the music.
"Firstly I'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight, not only because you're
here to see me but because also we're all here to raise some money for the
nominated charities." Brandon. "Tonight isn't just about the new material, but
about some of the old songs too. With that in mind, I'd like to start with a song
that means a lot to me from a while ago..."
He picked up his guitar and began to play the first few bars of one of his
earliest hits. "Mine."
Brandon was glad that he had not forgotten how to play the song, it had
meant a lot to him when he was younger, although now it was more of a
mechanical playing. The record company wanted to promote not only his new
album but to try and sell the older stuff to a new audience and so he was
playing a good mix of things. Brandon knew that this was a sacrifice on his
part that allowed him more leeway on what he wanted to play for the rest of
the night. It was a sacrifice that he was willing to make.
Justin sat out in the fifth row from the front, heart in his throat as he heard
Brandon singing about the heart that was his. Justin couldn't help but feel that
Brandon was singing to him, even though this song had been released when
Justin was more worried about who he was taking to the final party at Mickey
Mouse club than anything else. It had been written for someone else and for
all Justin knew there was someone else that Brandon was singing it for now.
It certainly wasn't meant for him.
Brandon played a few more songs, old and new, just as he knew that they
would want. The newer songs were a lot more mournful than his older ones,
more about breakdowns of relationships than about the depth of the love and
Justin wondered how many other people knew about the break up of
Brandon's marriage, surely it was common knowledge by now.
Brandon put his guitar to one side after the sixth song and for a moment there
was a deathly silence as people wondered if this was it, if they had paid
$1000 for less than half an hour. The silence followed Brandon as he walked
off to the side of the stage and came back carrying a bottle of water and a
towel. When he took his seat again there was a collective sigh of relief that
Brandon had obviously heard as he smiled and sipped his water.
"This next song is one that I wrote on my sabbatical, it's not what I would
usually write but I think that from what you've heard already you'll realise that
there is a new sound to this album, this one is for that someone special in my
life."
There was a brief introduction from a band that curtains moved aside to reveal
and then Brandon began to sing.
"You walked in when they walked out,
Would not leave me alone
And all I did was thank you
For all that you had done
Two small words are not enough
to say just how I feel
You need more than a simple thank you
For helping me to heal
I wish that I had said more,
That you had said more too
All that I know now is
You deserve more than Thank You.
Two small words are not enough
to say just how I feel
You need more than a simple thank you
For helping me to heal."
Justin felt the words as much as he heard them, he felt the stabbing of them
right into his heart and wondered if this was a song that was written to rub in
that one night with Brandon. Of course it could have nothing to do with him, it
could have been written for anyone, but Justin hated to think that there was
anyone else.
The chords to the song finished and moved into another.
"This song is not mine, however it is by a very talented and inspiring young
man and I wish that I had written it."
As the new song started Justin felt the pain grow even deeper and knew that
the last song had been for him.
"There's a thousand words that I could say to make you come home,
seems so long ago you walked away and left me alone
And I remember what you said to me,
You were acting so strange
And maybe I was too blind to see that you needed a change...
Was it something I said to make you turn away
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way to make it so that you were right here, right now...
I've been sitting here, can't get you off my mind
I'm trying my best to be a man and be strong.
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face,
But the truth remains...
You're Gone..."
And as the song continued Justin wondered what kind of cruel joke Brandon
was trying to play with him and what he had done to deserve this.
***
Brandon thought that the concert had gone well, he had received a lot of good
reactions and had achieved what he had wanted from it, as he headed
backstage he had no idea what was happening in the audience nor did he
have any idea who exactly was out there.
"Can you believe that Justin?" Chris asked excitedly. "He sang your song.
That's just so...Wow."
"You have no idea." Justin said flatly.
He had sung Justin's song, more than one, because he had gone on to sing
the song that the pair of them had worked on that night two years ago, there
were a few changes but it was almost the same song that they had sung. It
was as if Brandon was tailoring the entire performance to stab him in the
back. Justin wondered how he had know that they would be there.
"Josh, you never did tell us, how did you get the tickets?" Justin asked
suspiciously. Maybe he had been set up.
"I bought them." Josh replied honestly.
Justin knew for certain that Josh wasn't lying to him, at least he had never lied
to him yet, and this was no time to start. Josh was telling the truth which
meant that there was something else going on here.
"Let's get this party on the road..." Joey said, obviously in the mood to
continue this at a club or something.
"You guys go on." Justin said. "I'll only be a moment."
Joey nodded, Lance and Chris followed Joey out. Only Josh stayed behind,
he had known Justin too long and knew that there was something else going
on here. Most likely something that none of them knew about.
"Justin?" Josh asked, clearly wanting an explanation.
"I need to speak with him." Justin said, more thinking aloud than actually
directing the statement to Josh. "Can you tell the others that something came
up?"
"See him?" Josh asked, following Justin as he took a few steps forward.
"See..." Josh was about to ask again when he realised what Justin meant.
"Justin, you can't be thinking about trying to get backstage. You know how
tight security is at one of our concerts and if anything it will be tighter here."
"I have my ways." Justin said. "Just tell the others."
And then he was off, walking fast and deliberately into the crowds, Josh
started to follow but after a moment he had lost his friend. He supposed there
was only one thing to do and that was tell the others that Justin had been
called away. If this was what Justin wanted then Josh would do it, but he
wasn't about to go out and celebrate Justin's birthday without Justin, instead
he was going to wait at the hotel. Someone had to be there when Justin
realised that he was just dreaming about meeting the man they had seen,
even if he had sung Justin's song, and Josh would be there to pick up the
pieces, just as he always was.
***
Justin knew as soon as he saw the set up that Josh was right. It would be
almost impossible to get backstage at an Nsync concert and if anything it
would be harder here because Brandon Taylor was more famous. Nsync may
sell a lot of records at once but Brandon was the type of artist that had
sustained sales in the hundreds of thousands.
"Can I see your ticket?" A security guard asked as Justin waited to one side of
the stage.
Justin realised that he didn't have it with him, Josh had kept them all together
and Josh was leaving with the others.
"I don't have it." Justin said. "I'm just waiting for someone."
"Sure you are." The guard said doubtfully. "The exits are behind you. I
suggest that you use them before I have you physically removed."
"He's with me." Someone said, causing Justin to turn to see a young woman
of about 18. The guard eyed her suspiciously and she handed over a set of
passes that made him inhale sharply.
Justin didn't know who she was but he was certain that she was probably
someone he should recognise. She was tall for a girl so young, at least 5' 9",
with long dark hair and eyes that looked like melted chocolate. With looks like
that she could easily be a model.
"I'm sorry, Miss." The guard said. "Sir." He said with a nod to Justin as he
ushered them off to one side. "Stick to the left hand side as you go inside."
He warned.
"Sure thing." The young woman said, moving past Justin with a confident
grace and heading backstage. Justin could do nothing but follow her,
wondering whether she was Alice and he was about to make his way down
the rabbit hole. It certainly felt as if he had stepped into some other world.
"Does B know that you're here?" The girl said as soon as they were far
enough inside not to be heard. There was still people milling around them but
none of them were paying any attention to what appeared to be a young
couple trying to find an intimate moment.
"B?" Justin asked, it took him a moment to realise who she meant. "Oh, you
mean Brandon. I didn't think so, but after tonight..." Justin trailed off as he
realised that he was about to reveal something that he was not ready to
share. He had never wanted anyone to know about his night with Brandon
Taylor and he assumed that Brandon felt the same way. "Who are you
anyway?" Justin asked, realising that he was about to reveal one of his
deepest secrets to a stranger.
"A friend." She replied cryptically.
"I don't..."
"Maya," A familiar voice said, chilling Justin as he heard it. "Tank said that
you were here. Why didn't you come find me?"
"I got sidetracked." She explained.
Justin realised that this was the girl that Brandon had spoken about, the
fourteen year old that meant he knew who Nsync were, and if this was
Brandon's younger sister then Justin hadn't been imagining things and the
voice had to be Brandon himself.
As Brandon got closer he saw that his sister was not alone.
"Are you going to introduce me to your...oh." He trailed off as he saw that this
was not just some friend that his sister was trying to impress but was
someone that he knew already.
"Brandon, I swear I didn't plan this..." Maya said as she saw the look that
crossed her brother's face. She hadn't wanted to cause him pain, it was the
last thing that he needed right now and she knew that but she had thought
that he would want to meet Justin just as she had.
"Can we move this somewhere a little more private?" Brandon asked, his
voice steady and emotionless.
Justin wondered what was happening, he wasn't sure why he was there and
now that he was up close to Brandon he couldn't remember what he wanted
to say, but it felt right to be there and he was not about to walk away again.
At least not without getting some answers.
***
A few moments later they were secreted away in a private dressing room and
Justin and Brandon were staring at each other expectantly. Maya sighed as
she realised that the two men were not about to share any feelings with her
there, maybe they wouldn't at all but she wanted to see if they would at least
try.
"I think that you guys have a few things to talk about, and you certainly don't
need me around while you do it." Maya said. "Justin, it was good to meet you,
I hope that we can talk later. B, I'll definitely see you later." She said,
reaching up to give her brother a hug.
As she was hugging him she leaned closer.
"Give him a chance." She said softly to Brandon, so that he was the only one
that could hear.
Then she turned to leave.
"I'll make some excuses outside, buy you some time to talk." She said finally
before leaving.
Then the two of them were alone for the first time in two years and despite
having a million things to say to each other the silence reigned, neither one
wanting to speak first. Finally it was Brandon that went first, knowing that
Maya had been right and that he needed to talk about some things.
"I'm sorry." Brandon said. "I didn't know that you were out there tonight..."
"And if you had known?" Justin asked.
"I probably wouldn't have sung your song, or would have at least warned you."
Brandon said. "I had permission to perform it from your record company but I
wouldn't have done that to you. The last thing that I want to do is make you
feel uncomfortable in any way."
"You sang our song too." Justin said softly. Of course he knew that it was not
their song, it was a song that they had played together once that was mostly
Brandon's work, but it felt to him as if it was theirs.
"I sang more than one song tonight that was ours." Brandon said.
Justin frowned. There was only that one song that he saw as theirs and that
was the one they had worked on together. The one that had led to the events
of that fateful night, and led them here.
"Have a seat." Brandon said gently. "There are a few things that I need to
explain, it might go some way to clearing up what happened two years ago."
Justin nodded. He wasn't sure if this was what he wanted. He had been
ready to shout and scream at Brandon for using his song and for doing that to
him but he had also come here for answers and he supposed that he was
going to get them.
"The first thing that you should know is that I'm a recovering alcoholic."
Justin gasped at that, it was certainly a revelation and one that he hadn't
heard about in the presses. Not that he had followed Brandon's career that
closely since their encounter - but he was pretty sure that this was not public
knowledge, if it had been he would not have been able to escape the news
about it.
"I've been clean for nearly two years now." Brandon said. Justin didn't need
anyone to tell him that this coincided almost perfectly with the night that they
had spent together. "You know that I got divorced about two years ago too,
but that my drinking wasn't the reason that my marriage fell apart, it was that
my wife found out that I had cheated on her."
"I..." Justin began, but Brandon held up a hand to stop him.
"Please. I know that you probably have questions but this is hard to say. I
need to get it all out before I lose my nerve."
Justin nodded and beckoned for Brandon to continue.
"I married Chrissie when I was just out of High School, we had dated for about
three years on and off and it seemed the next logical step. It was okay at first,
but then as my career took off I spent less and less time at home, I also
began to learn a little more about the world than I had seen in my former life.
I was a late bloomer in a lot of respects and didn't even question my sexuality
until I was in my twenties. I realised a few years into my marriage that there
were problems but I believed in the sanctity of marriage and didn't want to
leave Chrissie. It was then that I started to drink."
Brandon paused for a moment, looking away and Justin knew that this must
be hard for him to admit. Justin began to realise that he was lucky in some
ways. He had grown up always knowing who he was and had been never
had to cope with the realisation that he liked boys, it was always there with
him, from as early as he could remember. He had spent a while believing that
he was bisexual but the lack of emotion over his break up with Britney told
him he was probably gay. How could you be upset over someone you never
truly loved?
"It wasn't until I started to tour Europe that I even thought about infidelity and
even then it was a test, to see if I really was attracted to men." Brandon said.
"It was once or twice, and I'm not proud of it, but it wasn't until later, when I
came home that I met anyone that I could fall in love with. By that time
Chrissie had already noticed that there were problems and filed for divorce. I
was confused about who I was still, was in the middle of a messy divorce and
was drinking heavily, not even admitting that I had a problem..."
Justin wondered if that was the Brandon that he had known.
"I was in Europe when it came to a head, I had too much to drink again and
ended up in hospital. Manny watched me like a hawk after that, not letting me
drink and making sure that I dried out. I'd been in recovery a few weeks when
I met you..."
Justin wasn't really sure what to say to that. Was Brandon trying to tell him
that he regretted what they had done? Or that being with Justin had set him
back in his recovery?
"You were like a shining beacon in the darkness, showing me that there was a
world out there if only I could go out and join it." Brandon said. "And what is
even more amazing is that you didn't ask anything from me, all you wanted
was a recognition of what we had done..."
"It was just one night..." Justin argued, feeling a little embarrassed that
Brandon was describing him as if he was the love of his life.
"But it was so much more than that. It was like a reaffirmation of life. You
came into my life at a time when I was jaded and cynical about everything and
reminded me about some of the simplest things. You saved me Justin and I
don't think you even realise what that night meant to me."
"If it meant so much to you why didn't you say anything?" Justin asked. It
wasn't as if he had expected Brandon to contact him, he had thought that he
was just another in a long list of one night stands, but if it had meant so much
why hadn't Brandon called.
"I don't think even I realised what it meant until much later, until after I had
spent a few months in therapy sorting out my head and my heart. By that
time I thought that it was too late, and besides I was still in recovery. You
deserved so much more than what I could give you."
"And now?" Justin asked. "Surely you must have known that singing "Gone"
would have gotten my attention."
"I don't know." Brandon said. "I meant what I said early, about you being
talented. I think that some part of me wanted to show you that I felt that, that I
was proud of the person you have become, and I know that this sounds
patronising but it's how I feel."
"Would you have ever gotten in touch?" Justin asked. "If I hadn't come back
here tonight?"
"I don't know." Brandon replied softly. "I like to think that I would have but I
really don't know."
Justin sighed. He had come backstage to get some answers, he had gotten
them now but still didn't feel any better. He had thought that he was over this,
that Brandon had lost the power over him that he had once had, but just being
in this close proximity with him it was clear that he still had a power and that
Justin was not satisfied with the answers he had gotten. He wanted more
than this but wasn't sure if he could get it.
"I think that it'd be best if I left." Justin said, standing to leave. "I'm not sure
that there is anything left to say."
He took a few steps towards the door, moving slowly because a part of him
didn't want to leave Brandon behind again, he let out a soft sigh when he felt a
hand on his arm.
"I won't let you just walk away like that." Brandon said, turning Justin to face
him. "Not again."
And then Justin felt himself being pulled forward into an embrace.
"Not without letting you know how I feel."
This was followed by a touch of lips to his own, a soft kiss that Justin barely
got into before it was over.
"Make sure that you keep in touch." Brandon said, sliding a card into Justin's
hand.
Justin suddenly felt as if he didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay there and
kiss Brandon some more, but he had said that he was leaving and at least this
way it would be his choice if something else occurred.
As Justin stepped outside and back into the throngs of people that were
milling around backstage he wondered if he would make the call, or if he
would ever see Brandon again.
Somehow he knew, that whether he liked it or not, this wasn't going to be the
last he saw of Brandon Taylor.
***
To Be Continued
Notes: "More Than a Simple Thankyou" was written specifically for this piece.
Lyrics for "Gone" used without permission.