I was doing dishes, and you know how my mind flies every time I put my hands in soapy water...and for no reason at all I found myself thinking about Hell .As you know, I have heard different ideas lately about it: from the literal burning to living separated from you, to actually no waking up to an eternal life. None of the options seem nice. But in all honesty, none seem like real punishment either.

Let's start with the actual fire and torments...there is nothing, or at least I have not found anything to indicate that human mind will be any different in Hell. And here on Earth we have seen how most people, when placed in a situation of constant pain, eventually find a way to escape it, be it by getting accustom to it (Oh, man, here coes the Devil with the burning flame again..see you later guys) or by closing themselves to it, like catatonics (no idea how to spell this). So I think that no matter how bad Hell is, eventually -specially when you have Eternity- people will stop suffering.Besides, the only idea of eternal punishment is so anti-love, so not You, that I think we can scratch possibility no.1 off the list.

Then is no.2, living separated from You. As terrible as I think it is, let's be honest, there are people who are already living that way..so does that mean that they are living Hell on Earth? Will they notice the change after they die? Not so sure about that one. Then there is the tamer one: people not waking up to an eternal life...is not very up-lifting, but some people actually believe that is what is going to happen and they live perfectly happy on Earth -or so they say,a t least.

So, what is Hell and how can it be a punishment that some how leads to redemption ( I cannot conceive Love without redemption, Beloved)?

Well,as I was doing the washing up, this idea came to me. Remember when we lived in Vzla and I used to watch soap operas? Remember the one call The Lady? It was about a young girl who had been sold into sexual slavery by her father. She gives birth to a lovely baby girl with whom she fall madly in-love with. The baby means everything to her: love, hope, life ...but then her masters takes the baby away from her.

The girl some how escapes and through sheer will power rises from her ashes to become a hard and successful businesswoman -but she cannot forget her first-born. She suffer for her. She pays detectives to find her. The few times she prays is for the return of her daughter. Now a mature woman, the Lady falls in love (more like lust) with a slightly younger man, who is interested in a younger woman. At first the Lady fights the love battle fairly, but when she feels she is going to loose, she does horrible things to this young woman -more horrible that she had originally planned. She wins her man, and there are times she almost regrets the ills and evils she inflicted upon the young woman, but she goes on living happily her romance.

Then one day, the news she had been awaiting for 25 years finally arrive: the detective has found her daughter. It is her younger rival. To this day I can remember the harrowing scream of the lady. Her lustrous black hair turned white in an instant. She finally sees the scope of her actions and like Jesus says, she grinds her teeth and is cold and hot and burns in her remorse.

Hell must be somethig like that.

Is to finally see ourselves through your eyes and the scopes of our actions; to finally understand how our darkness has damaged others, hurt You and taken us away from the perfect life You have planned for us. Perhalps, since you are lord of time and space, this moment of truth can last for an eternity. But You are also merciful and forgiving, and I know that the pain will eventually stop, like in the soap opera, when the daughter forgave her mother. The relationship was never what could have been, but it still was

.And I guess that is what it means to be saved: to open our eyes before is too late, so we can build a loving relationship with You and live, from that moment on, the perfect life you created for us...

If everything is still and you are still and your
great projects are still and today’s agenda is still and the traffic is still
and the prejudices are still and the noise is still and your fears are still
and your goals are still…

Where can you go?

Where can you be?

Inside.

In.

Side.

To the place of truth that only the heart knows.

The place of the little voice.

God is love, it has been said.

God is overwhelming, all powerful and all mighty.

Can a temple contain God?

Can a book contain God?

Can a mind contain God?

I do not know.

But there is one truth that is self-evident,

That needs no explaining nor defence:

The only one
place where love dwells is inside371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c

Some people are like the wind...they go around, always moving, living adventures that some only dream of; they never stop at one place; the are free to go as they please. Like the wind, the bring good things: rain and seeds that fall into the land.

Some people are like the land, the ground. They stay solid, steadfast to one place. They see things come and go. They have their history and the history of those before them written on their walls. Some times the land sees the wind, and wished she too could go, could see all the things the Wind whispers about. But is is the land who receives the seeds the Wind scatters; that nourishes them aided by the rain that the Wind brings; who mothers them into grass and flowers and trees where birds nest and fruits hang.

Without the Land, the Wind's life would be meaningless. Without the Wind, the Land's life would be barren. Without them, life would not be as rich and beautiful as it is. Some people are like the Wind, and that is good. Some people are like the Land, and that is good. And if both Wind people and Land people understand this, their lie will be a joyous and happy one.

I'm very grumpy today...and sadden and disappointed...all this searching, all this reading, all this praying, all this talking...I'm begining to feel so faraway from You that is ridiculous. I used to like the Bible until I started to read it seriously. I thought Paul's description of Love was so inspired that if you follow it, it would be impossible not lo live in a way that would please You. Then I read the rest... and I feel like hitting the man in the head with one of his letters. I thought that the idea of solascripta was a good one...until I realized how constricted it is...because if it's truth, why the silence, my Lord? 2000 years with not even a whisper from You? I thought that salvation by faith alone sounded nice...until I realized it is not what Jesus says. I thought that may be the answer was in using the intellect, in educating myself in the history, context and theories around the Bible, in looking for the hidden meanings and mysteries...until I realized how smug it is. What about those who do not have the opportunity, the education or the brains? But most of all I thought that true Christianity was based in love and mercy and forgiveness...but apparently, if one does not belong to the 'club' You will not even bother to look at one's way and take into consideration people's deeds and hearts and lives..no confession? Sorry mate, here's your ticket to Hell.

Can that be you, Abba?

Is it true that you do not listen to the prayers of the little Thai girl forced into prostitution just because someone forgot to tell her about Jesus?

Is it true that to You Ghandi's works are filthy because he was a Hindu?

Is it true that the prayers of gratefulness that some devout Muslin lady offers you, a woman who has lived to love and help others, who loves You with all her heart and might, who lives a pure life of humbleness and selflessness, are an abomination in Your eyes, just because she had been taught that Jesus was a prophet and not the son of God? I guess that in the same token, all the prayers in the Old Testament, all the words of the prophets are worthless, since none of them knew Jesus.

Is Christianity reduced to magical chant of saying I believe Jesus is my Lord and Saviour?

When I was little (surely You remember) I had no problem with people belonging to other religions. I understood then than when Jesus said that He was the only way to you, it was in relation of Him saying He was the gate or the One who would come to judge the living and the dead. I saw Him like those Egyptian pictures, where people's hearts are put in a balance..or like those ancient Kings, like Salomon I guess, that would hear all the evidence of a case and then decide...and since I knew that He was Loving, and Just and Merciful and Kind, I was sure that I and the rest would receive a fair trail...apparently I was all wrong and to be honest, I don't know if I am a Christian anymore...not because I don't believe or love you God, but because everything in me rebels at so much cruelty and unfairness...please help me Abba..today is not a good day.

P.D. Tonight as I kissed Rebecca good night, she said that she loved me...I told her I loved her back. Then she said we must loved everybody. I ask why. She said because You loved everybody. She's only three, dear Abba....and so much smarter than I. Thank you for her and thank you for reminding me that the core of your word is LOVE.

This is a very slow morning...too early for my brain I think..I hadn't plan on writing anything...then I read the Bible reading from Beliefnet today: You
shall not eat anything with its blood. You shall not practice augury or
witchcraft. You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the
edges of your beard. You shall not make any gashes in your flesh for
the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Now, every-time a read something about Christianity, I read that we are not bounded to the old covenant, except for the moral commandments (the 10 commandments)...which seems ok to me...but the moment one mentions anything New Age, I'm told that no, no, no, witchcraft and horoscopes are out of limits...personally I don't care much about horoscopes, because if I trust you, why do I need to know what's going to happen (assuming one does find a good astrologer, tarot reader, etc). That said, one must admit that description about personality according to the signs does seem to be helpful. As for Tarot and with all due respect to Pagans, I get the feeling it was somehow taken away from Christianity..if you look closely to the symbols in-traditional decks, they are embedded with Christian imagery, like the card of The World, with the eagle, the man, the ox and the lion...which I recently learned were medieval symbols to describe the four gospels...What about witchcraft itself then? Well, I am sure you are against black magic as any good person would be. I also understand that witches in Biblical times (many of them) were basically poison makers -not a good to be, certainly.

But what about New Age Wiccans and Witches that practice white magic? At first I though one could apply the same idea of just trusting you...but if that the is the case then, should Christian go to doctors when sick? To counselors when sad? To lawyers when in legal trouble? To dietitians when having eating disorders? Aren't we distrusting you somehow every-time we take actions to solve everyday problems? I think you are laughing at me right now...and if you are I think You would be right...the thing is, most of the magic today white witches do (to my knowledge,a t least) is pretty much like that... to heal, to favour a situation, to find solutions to everyday problems in alternative way... Today's reading does nothing to help me see how witchcraft is a sin...I mean, look where it is, next to a warning of not cutting your beard, having a medium-rare steak and having a tattoo...Does this mean that 90% of Christian men are sinning? That the whole of the morcilla-eating Spanish population is going to Hell? That the ex-junkie who found Christ and celebrated it by having His face tattooed on his arm will not be saved? How does that make sense?

Let me think...I can see the practical side of the advice...there are many false witches that scam people out there...also witchcraft can be dangerous, get you in touch with dark spirits you may not be prepared to handle..it may also blind you with power, making you believe that you are God...but can not this happened in any career or life style? I don't remember Jesus, when casting demons, saying anything like, 'That's what happens when you play with witchcraft'. The other things that makes me a bit crazy about some Christians brothers is that, based on this reading, they take anything that is not Western as witchcraft, from acupuncture to crystal healing. I mean, what's the difference between putting a needle behind you're ears and having an aspirin? I find it very arrogant, really...but it also makes me wonder, with this kind od thinking, how effective can we be spreading the Good News to other parts of the world, when the first thing you tell them is that their medicine, ancient knowledge and culture ia s product of the Devil? Every time I read Jesus, one of the things that strikes me is that his teachings could be inserted into any society without having to change the society first...it seems that what is good is good everywhere...I was reading about a Muslim girl that turned to Christianity... she still prays five times a day and have found no reason to give up the head dress typical of her culture...of course, I can hear some Christian brother or sister telling 'What about Paul? He also condemned witchcraft' What about Peter? He didn't condemn it? Nor James. nor Jude. Not quiet sure about John..got to check. And like I said before, Jesus did not seemed to have done it...sometimes I get the feeling Abba, that Christianity is a one line religion...priest and pastors and ministers seem to have chosen a few sentencesfrom the Bible and repeated ad infinitun...without concerning themselves with others word that may contradict or give a different perspectives to the same idea...and it confuses me and exasperates me...please forgive me dear Abba is again I'm being a rebellious child...guide me Abba, so I may read the Bible through your eyes and your spirit and your love and your mercy; so I may learn the lessons there for me to learn; so I may become a better daughter and a better person and walk on your path and work for your glory and learn to love you and others each day more...

I hope that you were able to look down here and feel pleased at some of your children's work and attitudes...

This morning I was checking my face-book page...you know, where I keep in contact with my friends and family...a dear cousin I had not heard of for a long time send a video about The Secret...I had read somewhere that this book was not very Christian...being the curious mouse I am, I went and read it and in all honesty, I did not find anything new on it: you create your own reality, your reality is created by your thoughts, think positive and you'll have a positive life...etc.

At the end I decided I did not like it because it places my whole destiny in my hands...and we both know what my hands are like... what I'm like, how weak and feeble and shallow I can sometimes be. Yes, I know Abba: you have granted me some wonderful gifts and I am thankful for them...but I'm just human: there's only so much I can do by myself.

Going back to The Secret, the second reason I did not like it that much was that it seemed lo lack mercy...when you state that a poor, hungry person in a Africa has created this awful reality for herself, there is, I think, a tendency for the rest us to say 'Oh well, then she shouldn't complain" or even worse, "Ah, may be I should send a copy of The Secret to that lady in Dahfur, so she can change her circumstances with the power of her mind." So I set the book , without much reflection on wherever it was a 'Christian' friendly book or not.

However, today when I was watching the video, with its beautiful images and lovely soundtrack, something hit me. Every image was followed by a positive sentence. And the only subject in every sentence was I. Me. Jesus' words then came to my mind: Love others as you love your self. A Christian 'Secret' would say We. Our. Us. Good things are coming to us today. We take time to laugh and play. It would include, even if only in prayer, my brothers and my sisters. It would inspire me to see myself in the eyes of others. It would remind me that yes, I should enjoy life, but I must also do my part for others to enjoy life too and focus in the beauty of it. It would include you Abba. Not as an impersonal Universe who seems to be the shopkeeper of a giant store of wishes, but a loving Father providing fos His children and exercising prudence and discipline when need it. You, them and I, a trinity of love, and gratefulness, and worship, and generosity and abundance.

So is The Secret an anti-Christian book? I don't know...it does not seem anti anything... it just seems...well.. naive... incomplete... as do all things where You are not there...

Got to go, Father... Rebecca just threw a toy out of the window...again...Thank you for narrow windows from which only little toys can fall ...

Have a wonderful day and please guide me through the Spirit, so I may be the daughter you created me to be...fill me with your Love and do not let me forget everything Jesus has taught me and done for me...

Good morning Father...today I awoke with one of my thoughts (you know how my mind works better than mine)...if I am to take the Bible as your literal word ( and we both know how difficult that is for me...but I'm trying, Abba, I'm trying) ...What am I to understand when Jesus says that no man born out of a woman is greater that John the Baptist? Well, being only 8:00 o'clock am, I have only reached a few conclusions:

a) Jesus exaggerates

b) Jesus does not exaggerates and means exactly what he says...in that case, is it fair to say that

c)Jesus is not a man...which will send the theory of Jesus being human and divine all the way to...well, you know where...or

d) Mary was no woman, at least no ordinary one, which will give reason to the Catholics and may require some apologizing from all the rest...

e) If d) is true, then one may wonder why Mary's role seemed to be downplayed in the Bible...my brain suggests that by the time they wrote the Gospels, may be some groups where already beginning to turn to her as a mediator, and they writers of the Gospels worried (as many Protestants today) that she would take some of the spotlight from Jesus...

f) But what about option a) Jesus exaggerates...I mean, He wa human and passionate about his cause...so may be 'exaggeration' is a possibility...if that is so, could other passages be result of a passionate, poetic exaggeration wanting to emphasize his message? Like cutting your off your hand if it leads you to sin ( I think most people would agree that that one is an exaggeration) and the handling of snakes once you have received the Holly Spirit? What about Hell? May be some fo those hard sayings are a product of Jesus humanity...which would explain up to some point the contradiction I seem to find between his loving fruit and some of his very acid words...

Sorry dear God if all these thoughts may some how offend you...but I am already a big sinner as it is to add hypocrisy to my list...you know my heart and my love and my desire to understand you and do you will...but you did give me this brain, and I assume is for something more important than adding two and two...any way...

Please Father, in the name of your son Jesus and the Holly Spirit, please help me remember today that I exist because you made me...let my actions and words today reflect your love and your mercy...please grant me some of your infinite patience...help me see you in everything around me, rejoice in your wonder and keep away from sin as much as my human nature allows me...remind me that my love for you is expressed in thoughts, prayers, words and actions...keep at bay the rebel in me, so I may open up to your word and discerne what is for me to discerne...and please, remind me to be humble and remember that I cannot understand it all, that I'm not always right, that I have much to learn, that I'm not better and more rigtheous that those around me, that at the end, I'm here to serve, to help establish your kingship on earth, and that I don't always have to do great things in your name, but I can do a lot of little things with lots of love in your honour...