I made this to remind myself that sometimes there are people who seem so open and free...and it makes you fall in love with them, but then you realized that they weren't all that open or free..and you can't get into their heart, but it's too late because you're already drawn to them...drawn to the glimpses of things you saw when you thought they were open.

Updated it in 2013 with the help of Carol Roque and then again in 2016.

The Solace in Letting Go

I wanted to draw a picture that I thought felt like falling in love...that feeling of having your heart being ripped out, but not by force, but by something else...maybe beauty? Maybe it's not even being ripped out but probably more along the lines of you truly letting it go. That moment when you can feel yourself become a little bit more transparent...like you're melting away...or maybe that's just your fear of judgement, who knows. I always feel silly describing this drawing because it's such a fool's errand to try and capture a feeling like that because you know you never can, but maybe I can make something that'll remind me of it. The words written on the waves are just whatever I had in my mind at the time...it's like a page in a diary in that I never really feel like going back and reading it...maybe one day.

I believe in magic. How could I not? Think about it, what would it take to make a pig fly? Well, we could strap a jet pack on it or we could put it on an airplane, maybe we don't even make one fly but make a CGI pig and have it do whatever we want...back flips, talk (remember that movie Babe?) Then we go back a few hundred years in history and show them how we'd make a pig fly...maybe show them Babe (movie with talking Pig), how would they see it? how would they describe it? I feel like after they burn you alive for witchcraft, they'd have to admit that what you showed them indeed seemed like magic. We are all doing things on a daily basis that a few hundred years ago, if you described it to most humans, they would think it sounds like magic. I believe in magic, because I believe hundreds of years from now, there will be humans who are doing things that I can only dream of. Things that I would consider magic.

Contemplating Death

A story about thinking about death. Created by BrokeBot

The Urge That Lingers

A story about not letting your urges kill your inspiration. Created by BrokeBot

The Hidden Places We Go

A story about about the things we do when we think no one is looking.

Mechanical Heart

Started from an older drawing. Just a mechanical heart.

The Blast (Tropical Punch)

Started from a drawing by Carol. There are many variations, usually named after a food that the color pallette brings to mind.

Honey Bear

Created with Carol Roque. Started as a painting on a vinyl record.

General T. Gondii

I feel like if cats were to ever try and take over the world, Toxoplasma Gondii would be their weapon of choice.

Mostly, we just wanted to draw a cat in uniform.

The Thrill of the Hunt

This is related to "A Cold Day". The arrow in the knee is a reference to a Skyrim joke.

The Thrill of the Catch

A story about not being able to control what is attracted to your love. Created by BrokeBot

Illuminated

She'll help you see the way, but be careful...she might burn you. What is she showing you? What do you see?

Created by BrokeBot.

Giraffe

Just a Giraffe with interesting spots. Created by BrokeBot

It Just Slipped Out

I’m sorry for I know not what I sayLets pretend I meant it another wayI didn't mean to say it so soonCan’t we just blame it on the moonI wish I could explain what it’s all aboutI’m sorry...it just slipped out.

That moment between you saying "I love you" and hearing their reply.

Created by BrokeBot

Freedom is a Metaphor

A story about being placed on a pedestal.

It's No Big Deal

A story about not trying to worry.

The Song

My mom went to Paris once, and when she came back, she said she saw a painting she really loved, and she described it to me. I later found out the painting is called 'The Singing Butler' by Jack Vettriano. I drew my version of the same painting for my mom.

There is Only One Meaning

The one meaning: It's whatever you think it means. I sell my artwork at First Friday's in Phoenix, Az, it's an art walk. People often look at my work and wonder what it all means. Sometimes they make guesses, sometimes they ask me, sometimes they just makes a face and walk away. One of my favorite things is to hear what other people think it means...it lets me know how people think, how their minds work. Sometimes people come up with way more elaborate meanings than what I intended, but I also made the artwork with that in mind, that people will interpret it in ways I can't predict based on their own personal experience in life. So, when they have these elaborate meanings, and then they ask me if they were right...I always want to tell them yes...because Art is however you interpret it...but I also don't want to lie. Once I say what the exact meaning is, they tend to stop seeing it in their way and start seeing it in my way...and that always makes me feel like I took something from them...so I dislike explaining my artwork simply because I don't want to take anything away from the viewer and the meaning that they come up with.

Now with that in mind, me and Carol decided to make a piece that has one meaning to us, a meaning that won't apply to anyone else about us, but that would be made in such a way that there can be many varying ways you can interpret it...for us, the meaning is this: To make a piece of artwork that doesn't have one direct meaning that we intend, sort of like an experiment to see what people say they think it means if they're told that there is only one meaning but without much pointing towards an obvious meaning. The funny thing is, as I'm making it, I made sure it has a meaning to me that isn't about 'seeing what people think it means' but something else...and Carol does too...but we've never told each other our own personal meanings.

I feel like people can look at this and based on what shapes they put importance on, what items they find significant, etc, they can all come away with totally different meanings...even though there is only one meaning, it is ours...I think it's the only piece of artwork that we really force people to find their own. I wish that everyone who bought this one would tell me why, and what what it means to them.

Nightmares of the Bottom

There's the struggle in getting to the top and the struggle of staying at the top once you get there...in both struggles, there are nightmares of the bottom.

Inspired by a Lil Wayne lyric: Sleeping at the top, nightmares of the bottomEverybody wanna be fly until you swat ‘em

In the song, he's rapping about being at the top of his game and having nightmares of the bottom...meaning that he has nightmares of the people coming up from the bottom, and he has nightmares from when he was at the bottom.

I have nightmares of the bottom, but it's mostly that I'll stay at the bottom. Sometimes I wonder if I'd want to be the strawberry on top, or if I want to be the ant who gets to eat the strawberry. I feel like the human race works more like the ants though, and that once one ant figures out how to get to the top, he leaves a trail that the others can follow.

The Realest Realist

A story about being a real badass.

The Flame That Still Burns

Mr. Duckie Never Judges

Created by BrokeBot. Started as an oil painting by Carol.

The Awful Guessing Game of Choice

I drew this many years ago. At the time, I was struggling with a question. See, my mom had always taught me that you can love anyone...just some people are easier and some people are harder, so naturally, the question came up...well, how do you know who to love. I thought of how cruel it is that the more choices you have, the harder the game of love becomes. How do you know who to choose? Are there many hearts and you have one key that can open them all? Or is it more than you have one key that opens one specific lock...but then..there are so many locks, how can you find the right one....either way you look at it...what an awful guessing game. Recently I thought to ask my mom what her answer was about how do you know who to love if you can love anyone. She said "some people, you can't help but love". I think she may be on to something.

Milktini Dream

Just a cat having a wonderful dream.

Cecilia Deals with Growth

A story about dealing with growth.

A Cold Day

A crime story in the world of BrokeBot.

Highs and Lows

When I'm high, I wish we never said goodbye When I'm low, time mocks me by moving slow When will it stop, maybe God knows I just pray I find repose from these awful highs and lows

There are actually two versions of this piece. The difference being what's written on the post it note. On one, it says "Sometimes it helps" and on the other it says "sometimes it hurts". The idea came about when me and Carol were talking about how people tend to glamorize past love and pain in art, and we looked at the art on our walls that we have made and how they sort of capture that moment in time when we were feeling whatever we were...all the highs...all the lows...and we wondered...is this a good thing? Being surrounded by such things that remind us of the past all the time...I think by the end, we had decided that...sometimes it helps, sometimes it hurts.

Sea of Sadness

I drew this one a long time ago, when I was thinking about that moment when you meet someone and things seem perfect, but you know things had felt this way before and there are always storms brewing, always waves that you don't see coming that'll hit you....to drown you in a sea of sadness.

Autogenic Slumber

I think the easiest way to describe what I was trying to capture would be something like 'having your ego dissolve'. Or maybe what's it's like to just be honest and transparent...what it feels like to just be able to be as open and honest as you'd like without fear of people seeing through you.

As Free As Freedom

I made this one to remind myself that when you love someone who isn't there,..you're about as free as freedom.

First Love

The idea is about the first time you're in love. You feel so happy and secure, you're unaware of all the dangers around you...dangers to your relationship. This is true only the first time you're in love since you've never had your heart broken...you don't know all the things you should be 'watching out for'. It's probably the only time in life you can love so purely...after the first time, you learn to pay attention to the warning signs.

If you follow the woman's hair, you it spells "love" with the apple being the "o". In the orbs, there are the 7 deadly sins, and the 7 saintly virtues. Was Adam and Eve the first love? If so, did he give up paradise for love? Is that the story we've been telling from the beginning of time? That love leads to suffering? Is love just chemical reactions in the brain? Does someone love you for the right reasons? Are there right reasons for love? Can you love anyone? Then what makes anyone special? I didn't think of any of these questions when I was first in love.

But First You Must Die

When a caterpillar goes into a cocoon, it's body completely decomposes down into a basic fluid of just cells. It then rebuilds back up into the body of a butterfly. So in order for the caterpillar to become a butterfly, it essentially dies and has to break down into just the basic ingredients of what it's made of before being able to build back up into something greater. I like to think that the transformative power of love works in much the same way. In order for you to let love transform you into something amazing, you first have to let it break you down...the old you, in order to become the new you. Everyone wants to be transformed into metaphorical butterflies, but not many are willing to take the necessary steps...of letting go of who they used to be in order to become the person they one day hope to be. I made this painting to remind myself of this idea.

A Secret Place

There's a lyric I love that goes:

"... I found the safest place,to keep all our tenderness,keep all those bad ideas,keep all our hope."

"My Favorite Chord" by The Weakerthans

I wanted to draw that secret place. I think at the time of drawing this, that secret place was probably a little bit messy.

The Woman I Love...

This is one of the oldest drawings that has remained unchanged and that I still sell. The title written on the drawing is Latin for "The woman whom I love is beautiful". I drew this after the first time I had fallen out of love, she had fallen in love with someone else, but it wasn't working out with him, and so she was telling me how sad she was and what a mistake it was that she chose him over me, but it was too late, and i remember thinking, I guess we'll both be sad now. II remember hearing that phrase "the woman whom I love is beautiful"...I think it was in a song by Bright Eyes...and it made me realized that she wasn't particularly beautiful to me anymore, and for the first time I realized how powerful love can change your perception of someone. My love had made her much more beautiful than she appeared now...and so I wanted to draw something to remind me of all those ideas. The other writing on the drawing is a 'poem' written by me...I think this was shortly after high school.

Stolen Heart (2013)

A story about trying to replace your stolen heart with someone else's

A Guide to Forgetting

Sometimes I wish there was a guide to forgetting...a way to get rid of bad memories or things that just keep eating away at our sanity. I wish we could just take the bad, and kick it out of our minds like unwanted tenants.

Use Love

A story about learning to use love to motivate yourself.

Give Love

A story about sharing love

Make Love

A story about love making more love.

The Problem with Pretending

Sometimes it's fun pretending you're someone you're not, but you never know who else is also pretending.

Your Own Audience

A story about trading the things that matter for a temporary audience.

The Balance

A story about trying to maintain balance while listening to your heart.

Unnecessarily Alone

A story about being unnecessarily depressed because your focus is in the wrong direction.