Anonymous Story: We were together almost 5 years.

We were together for just shy of 5 years. In the beginning of our relationship it was raw and passionate. A few years in however I developed a disease that sometimes made sex unbearably painful. He didn’t care. He told me he had needs and as his girlfriend I was expected to fulfill them. I’d try, but the pain was too much. He’d guilt me in to having sex with him even though he knew it hurt. There were so many times I’d cry out, with tears streaming down my face and he wouldn’t stop. He never stopped. He went harder and faster so he could finish. It was only after he got what he needed that he’d (sometimes) ask if I was okay. He’d make jokes about our sex life to friends and belittle me for “not wanting him.” I thought it was my fault, that I owed him sex. I felt ashamed that my body developed a disease that prevented me from enjoying sex. I’d sometimes pretend to be asleep when he got home or I’d stay at other people’s houses because I couldn’t bare it anymore, physically or emotionally. I didn’t know it then, or maybe I just didn’t want to believe it, but I was raped by my partner. #metoo

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