Picking up from where the first movie left off, Princess Daisy busts in on Mario, Luigi, and Mario's Slut of the Week eating/having sex with LOTS OF SPAGHETTI, exclaiming that she badly needs their help. Koopa's minions have resurrected him using DNA from the primordial slime that was left over after the plumbers de-evolved him, and he has now reorganized his remaining forces, utilizing guerilla tactics against the Mushroom Kingdom in an effort to retake the land.

The trio depart through the interdimensional rock wall portal, only to emerge on the other side Luigi-less. They exclaim in motherfucking fright. We then see Luigi, stuck between dimensions, trying to find a way out. Crazy shit is happening everywhere:

WWWWEEEEEEE!!!!

* Linux / Windows Eatpussy * Jesus slides down his slide and dropkicks ???, then slides back up poop-style and as he ascends into the sky yells “Be back later, bitches!”
* Etc

Suddenly, amidst the smoke and nonsense, Trip Fisk appears, exclaiming that “swords will fucking cut interdimensional holes wide open”, and offers to sell Luigi a sword in exchange for his soul. Luigi plays it off as some strange joke and accepts the swords, cutting a hole in the wall and exiting the interdimension while Trip laughs maniacally in the background.

Meanwhile, just as Mario and Daisy are debating how to act upon their lost comrade, they are suddenly ambushed by none other than Gwonam! He swoops down on his carpet and kidnaps Daisy. Luigi shows up just as Gwonam is disappearing in the distance, and yells at Mario. They immediately head out in the direction that the strange man went, towards a menacing dildo.

Koopa scene, plotting and shit, Gwonam shows up with Daisy, yay congratulations. Koopa discusses his dual-strike master monster plan: to smoke the monster out as a distraction while making a hasty space escape in his near-completion dildo rocket. Evil maniacal laughter by all.

Mario and Luigi are charging towards Koopa's Keep when they stumble upon a wounded Toad who was on his way to alert the plumbers of Koopa's plot.

At the end of whatever the final battle is, Koopawalken topples backwards into the ocean. He begins to fall, then the camera cuts to another angle, and Koopa is now in a clown suit. He smacks into the water, the clown nose honking on impact. He floats adrift while music plays for a few solid moments, then a shark launches out of the water and lands his gaping jaws onto poor Koopa, taking him down. Jaws swims down to the center of the earth trippily with more awesome music playing, and upon reaching the Earth's core, he promptly explodes.

The core begins to rumble and begins to heat up, boiling the ocean. Earth starts falling apart. We cut back to the Mushroom Kingdom where the land nearby is crumbling in on itself and all the denizens are rushing around. Suddenly there is a loud rumbling and then a blast of light from a nearby forest as a spaceship takes off from a hidden launch pad. Mario, the Princess, and their close cabinet members are making a run for it. The ship exits orbit and blasts out into space, headed into the great unknown, as the movie closes.

Someone must take a raw food shit. That is, we see them take a big nasty dump, but then when they stand up, the camera walks in to reveal whole food, such as a burger and fries. If only we could convey smell…