So a “Life Hack” is how to do something better in your life than you have been doing all along, right? So why are all the “hacks” so miniscule, like how to open a banana efficiently, or how to remember Pizza face Pete’s name, oh wait He has a Pizza face, Fuck I love cheese, and he was cheesy, but I am lactose intolerant and I farted in his presence, therefore Pizzaface Pete. Nice lifehack to those life hackers that believe all lives are similar and all minds work the same.

Next time you want to wash your clothes with getting out of them, masturbate on the pinnacle of a public fountain. You’ll get wet, but that is step 2, and after you are out of the holding cell, your clothes will be spotless. Life hack and rent saver, boom.

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