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About Me

Unfortunately I live in this small backwater of England that God forgot. My pet hates are sandal wearing yoghurt knitters who have transformed our once great country.( You can now be fined more for smoking or speeding than burglary. ) It's not the criminals fault of course his mummy wouldn't let him have an ice cream when he was two.

My other 'hate' is the automated answer phone systems installed everywhere now while your call is routed through Outer Mongolia. Press '1' to be keep hanging on for ages Press '2' to hear yet another tinny rendition of Greensleeves.Press '3' to be told that you've been phoning the wrong number for the last 30 minutes or Press '5' to be plunged into a telephonic abyss.