\nIt's 1 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon, and Kelly Clarkson is braless, bleary-eyed, and recovering from a hard-core dose of NyQuil. Hanging on her 45-foot tour bus—her home for nine months last year—she's just devoured a bowl of Special K Red Berries, and her pups, Security, a Maltese, and Joplin, a black miniature labradoodle, are snuggled in her lap.

Lounging in her favorite sweatpants and a faded rocker tee, Kelly is completely unself—conscious. "One thing I love about Kelly is her ability to not give a shit," says her buddy Blake Shelton, who duetted with Kelly last year. "She's not running for office. She's a badass singer, a badass songwriter, and that's her focus. The whole celebrity thing just doesn't matter to her."

The girl from Burleson, Texas, has had a decade to get used to the fishbowl that came with being named the first American Idol. She's sold more than 20 million albums, won two Grammys, and recently released Greatest Hits: Chapter One. She also has a serious boyfriend, Brandon Blackstock, [ED NOTE: They have since become engaged] a music manager who handles pals like Blake and is also the son of her own manager and stepson of her mentor, Reba McEntire.

"Brandon's totally the one," she says, a slow grin spreading across her face. "I've never been so happy." As her phone lights up with texts from her guy, the singer known for kiss-offs talks about a life that is newly calm, confident, and "abnormally normal."

Cosmo: You're only 30, but it feels like you've been doing this forever.

Kelly: Yeah, it feels like 20 years. Things were so weird, so fast for me, that I kind of skipped over the surreal part. This [bus] is normal now. I get home and I'll be like "What do I do? There's no call sheet. Why isn't there catering here?" It takes you a good solid five days to get into your routine, like going to the grocery store.

Cosmo:You go to the grocery store?

Kelly: Oh, yeah. I like it not just to be like an anti-diva but just to have some kind of normalcy of a pattern you've had your whole life. And I'm so übercontrolling. I don't even like people looking through my bags—I'm like "No, I got it."

Cosmo: You've fought for control of your music too. Is it still hard to be taken seriously as a young female songwriter?

Kelly: Not anymore. You have to earn your stripes. At first I thought, I've had number one hits. What do I have to do? Do I have to get some tablets from the top of a mountain? But I think that it takes a while. And also, I would compromise and bend and break to get people to respect me. I kept thinking that they're never gonna respect what I do—but the thing I've learned is, I'm not working for that. I learned at 30: Okay, I don't really care if people respect me. I love what I do. And if I don't wanna do something, just say no and I don't need a reason. I used to be a major people pleaser, and that was my biggest downfall.

Cosmo: People are obsessed with your weight loss. What's up?

Kelly: One magazine said I lost 40 pounds—that's a small child, by the way. I lost 18 pounds. And I think that happens when you fall in love or date someone. If I'm going to be kissing or messing around, I gotta look good. There's not a fad diet. I was working with a trainer, and she said, "You'd be amazed the amount of weight you can drop by halving your portions. I know it sounds crazy, but do it for two weeks and watch what happens." I just cut back my portions, I stopped eating late at night, and I work out a little more than I used to, and I literally dropped 18 pounds in a month. I think it happens when you get really busy as well. But when I'm on my off-time—girl, those 18 might come back.

Kelly: See, I'm not willing to do that. I'm willing to work a little bit because I want to be a healthy individual—which I always have been. I've put on weight, but that's just what I'm happy with at that moment. That's my life right then. And then your lifestyle changes: Brandon and I both have bikes on the back of the bus, and we both love the outdoors. Once your lifestyle becomes more active, obviously you drop weight. I wish people would stop talking about it, but I'm used to it after a decade. And I'm from a small town, so everybody has something to say about everything. I've grown up that way.

Cosmo: There have been other crazy rumors—the lesbian thing.

Kelly: People think, "Oh, she's been single for too long." That's kind of an insult to the gay community. Being single doesn't mean you're gay. But I'm never insulted by it, obviously. I mean, I get hit on by the hottest girls ever. Oh, my god, if I were a lesbian, I would be so in luck. But it's just not my thing. I've always batted for the boys' team.

Cosmo: Do you get hit on by guys?

Kelly: Yeah, I get hit on by both. But usually the guys who hit on me are tools. It's the ones that don't hit on you that make you like "Why didn't you ask me out?" It's like American Idol auditions: The guys who are the most confident are the horrible ones, and the ones who are good have no confidence at all.

Cosmo: So how did you and Brandon get together?

Kelly: We've known each other for years, but we didn't start talking until the Super Bowl last February. And this is the funniest/worst thing ever: One of my superhero idols is Whitney Houston, and the day she died was our first date. I was like "This is a bad omen."

Kelly: Oh, yeah. Six years I was single before this. I've never been truly loved like I am right now.

Cosmo: It's almost a shock when it starts to come together.

Kelly: Yeah, I know! When I hit 30, I was like "I don't have a problem right now. There's nothing to work out. What am I going to do with my time?" Some people worry about getting older, but my life is getting easier, so I love it.

Cosmo: So how are you going to write your girl-power anthems when you're so happy now?

Kelly: It's kind of the next chapter for me, so there's still stuff to write about. The idea of "Catch My Breath" is "Man, it's been a decade and a lot of growing up." And I think women in their 20s are searching, searching, searching....What do I want? What makes me happy? What doesn't make me happy? I tell my boyfriend, "I feel like the rug is gonna be pulled out from under me anytime." He thinks I'm such a pessimist. But I think being so happy freaks you out. So there's something to write about in that as well.