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I haven't had a crush on a real live person in over a year, unless… - love like me ･ 日記

non solum memento mori, memento vivere sed etiam

13.01 Monday 22nd March 2004

音楽: aiko - イジワルな天使よ 世界を笑え!

I haven't had a crush on a real live person in over a year, unless you count the Japanese *phwoar* man with the ponytail and long bangs that sits a couple of rows in front of me in my Texas government class while I stare lustfully at the back of his neck and wish I was taking notes with my tongue on his body rather than with the pen in my hand... But I've never actually spoken to him. He's said "excuse me" as he brushed past me after class, and when we're standing in the hallway before class waiting for someone to unlock the doors, sometimes he looks at me. One day I told myself I was gonna talk to him after class, but then the stupid professor had to make some one-sided comments of dubious accuracy about post-WWII Japan, and, while it confirmed my suspicion that the guy was Japanese, I really didn't want to try to talk to someone who had a "goddamn fucking 外人を殺す" look on his face...

But you can't really call that a crush. I don't even know his name, since they don't take attendance in that class. I don't know what you would call it, but I wouldn't call it a crush. More like a lustful fixation. But I haven't had one of those on a real live person in about the same amount of time. Gah, what am I talking about? I'm gonna be late for art history, and I'm not even dressed yet.