10 Ways to Rediscover Your Love of Gay Bars and Clubs

You used to love going out to gay bars, but now they’re all the same. They’re filled with the same circuit queens who make you feel insecure about your body, aggressive men who seem willfully ignorant about what consent is, and bitchy queens. I get it.

While gay clubs can be a sanctuary to express who you are and to publicly show your love of the same-sex, they can also make you feel more insecure and alone. If you’re in a place where gay bars and clubs aren’t doing it for you like they once used to, keep reading. Here 10 ways you can rediscover your love of gay bars and clubs.

1. Go out with a crew

I love going out to gay bars alone, but also, I’m currently not in a place where I hate all gay bars. It’s a lot easier—and potentially a lot more fun—when you go out with a crew of party friends.

2. Go to dance and socialize (NOT hook up)

The goal of going to a bar or club shouldn’t be to find a man. If you do, awesome! That’s great. But the goal should be just to dance, socialize, and have fun.

3. Go to a place with music you know you’ll like

I know so many gay men who go out to different clubs and then say they hated it because they hated the music. Newsflash: there’s this thing called Google. You can pretty much always find out who is DJing or if it’s a special night (like '90s night) and then determine if you want to go. Just search online!

4. Don’t go to a crazy crowded place

There’s nothing worse than going to a gay club and not being able to move because it’s so packed. It’s sweaty. It’s smelly. It’s hot. It’s loud. You can’t talk to anyone. Avoid this at all costs.

5. Pregame

The pregame is often more fun than the actual game. Have friends over before for a little kiki. It’ll get you in the right mindset before you head to the clurrrb.

6. Get hella dressed up

I love getting dressed up. LOVE IT. And you should too! Spend some time on your outfit and makeup. Turn a lewk, if you’re so inclined. Get excited about putting on something special.

7. Be okay with spending money

It can be stressful when you go to a gay club when you’re broke, because often, there’s a cover, drinks cost a fortune, and you have to take a Lyft home. I’d say be prepared to spend at least some money, so you don’t stress about it while you’re out and about.

8. Go to a place with an outdoor patio

This allows you to take breaks to go outside and actually talk with other guys. It is also a refuge for when it gets too hot and crowded inside.

9. Go to a fetish/kink bar

Try something new. Go to a fetish/leather/kink bar and see what it’s like there. Spice up your life a little. There’s an Eagle in pretty much every major city across the US. Go and check it out!

10. Get tipsy (but not hammered)

Last but not least, don’t get shloshed. Have a few drinks, but never get sloppy. That’s not fun for you or for anyone else.