Itís Hard to Change

Question:I am in such a funk because my best friend is moving away. I know I shouldnít, but I find myself angry at her, even hating her. Iím starting to pull away, but I know itís not her fault.

Answer:I am so happy for you that you have such a good friend. Change is a difficult thing, but fortunately we usually find ways to adapt. Perhaps you could keep a gratitude journal and write down the things you are happy for about your friend and brainstorm ideas about how you might be able to communicate with her in the future from a distance.

When you feel panicky about her moving, breathe deeply and focus on the moment. Right now in this moment, you are okay, you have everything you need and this moment is really all you have. All your fears about your friend are future-based. You don't know the future. You can't know it.

Have you considered using the skills of radical acceptance, or self soothing or the interpersonal relationship skills?

Maybe you and your friend could spend some time together brainstorming ways you can continue to be together?