Friday, July 31, 2009

So here we are at 37 weeks (well, today is 37 and one day). I had the obligatory Dr.'s appt this morning with the practices newest Dr. and he seemed nice. EXTREMELY young, but nice :) He asked me if we were planning on having more children after this one - which is only amazing because every other Dr. has just asked when I'm having my tubes tied. And usually only AFTER asking if this was an intentional pregnancy. Sigh.

Anyway, my BP and weight etc were all good; Snoopy's HR was great and he's measuring right on track so that was great to hear. I had to endure the beta strep test (ick) and so hopefully all goes well with that. He also did a surprise cervical check - I'm starting to efface and still not dialated at all. I'd be lying if I said that didn't take the wind out of my sails! I was hoping to hear that there was more going on. Of course, Yvonne, our doula, reminded me that these are all things that can change in a minute, so I'm hanging on to that! On a positive note, Snoopy is firmly lodged in my pelvis so that's very good. Fin was at a -2 station till I started pushing and I think Dash was close, so it's good to hear that this guy is at least getting ready for his grand entrance.

After having a few days where I felt like I could go on being pregnant forever if I had to, I'm now back to feeling pretty crappy. I have zero energy, probably because I can't remember the last time I actually got a decent nights sleep. I'm nauseous throughout most of the day and can't eat at all past about 5pm or I pay a mean price. My pelvis, predictably, feels like it's being pulverized by a large bowling ball and my belly is really starting to get itchy. But I have no swelling still, despite the continuing heat wave, so there's something. I've got a few things I'd like to see get done before this little guy arrives, but mostly we're just ready and waiting! I go back to the Dr. next Friday and I'll be seeing Dr. Marter who delivered Fin.

I realized this morning that 37 weeks was the last belly shot I took with Dash. And I feel so much bigger this time that I had to don the same duds and compare...

Only a touch bigger this time if that, but I definitely feel that he's lower. And then dressed to go to the Dr.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

As anyone with children will tell you, there is NO WAY to predict what will become their security blankets! You know, those special loveys that they can't sleep without and of which you will need to stock up on at least one back-up for the inevitable occasion where they vomit on one, lose one, or you just find yourself so disgusted that you need to wash the dang thing. When Fin was a born, my cousin Jerry sent him a blanket that had a fluffy frogs head attached. It was just the perfect size for him to snuggle up underneath and he decided almost immediately that it was his favorite. When he was a few months old, Brooks had to go to Vegas for a conference. He brought back a stuffed Steiff puppy for Fin. Puppy and Frogger were immediately those comfort items for Fin. We haven't been on a single trip without them - in fact he's never spent a night apart from them.

When I was pregnant with Dash, I saw a matching duck blankie in a store. And likewise, not long after he was born Brooks was on another trip to Vegas (although if memory serves, this was a fun one!) and brought back Bear (from the same stuffie family as Puppy). Dash's affections for Bear and Ducker are unsurprisingly nearly identical to his brothers.

So of course this baby had to have his own set of loveys. And we chose Giraffe and Pig.

And here's the family photo. I promise a more complete one when I can capture all three boys with their favorite things.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Appropriately, I had my 36 week appointment today. From now on I go weekly - how the hell did that happen!? Everything looked good. Still no swelling for me, my BP and weight were all good, little guy is head snugly down and measuring right on schedule. I'm even feeling somewhat decent this week (knock on wood). I mean, I'm huge, sleeping is no easy feat and I long to just feel "normal" again, but I don't have too much back or pelvic pain so I'm not complaining!

However, I am definitely at the point in this pregnancy where I don't want to wear pants (eh, I hate pants even when I'm not pregnant, so maybe that's not saying much anyway). But being on the large end of the game, I also only have a few pairs that fit comfortably. That being said, by the time Brooks is home I am more often than not clad in one of my favorite tees and undies. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, let me tell you something about these shirts...you can only get them at the beach and they look like old sweatshirts that have had the sleeves, neck and bottom chopped off (which if I remember correctly actually was in style at one point in my high school career). But they're super comfy and don't irritate the belly...mostly because they don't cover it! And I won't even tell you how many of these I've collected. One day this week the boys were being AWFUL and Brooks made a joke about working late and I threatened to get in the car immediately and head to his office to drop them off. Part of this threat was that I wasn't going to bother to get dressed/change. He asked if I was wearing one of my favorite shirts and I said duh! And NO PANTS! We both had a good laugh at how his coworkers would respond to my crop-top-sans-pants entrance and I figured I should let you all in on the joke.

So here's my 36 week belly. In my favorite shirt, and I put pants on just for you. And yes, I am aware that it says "Ocean Rescue". I'm seriously considering wearing one of these for the main event ;)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I was thinking this morning that it's now practical to measure the remainder of this pregnancy in days. In the unfortunate event that I actually make it to my due date, I'll have 28 days left. Why is it that four weeks sounds so long to me and 28 days seems totally reasonable? I'm feeling very torn between wanting it over and also not being ready yet. Sure I'm huge and miserable, but the closer to the end it gets, the more I feel strengthened to last as long as I need to.

And this pregnancy is different. This one will be my last.

Two boys are a handful and there are plenty of days that I have serious doubts about my ability to handle this third. But I know I'll be fine in the end. But three boys is, well, a lot. Initially we had talked about waiting a few years after Dash and then having two more children close in age. This little guy jumped the gun quite a bit. I can confidently say that having four children wham-bam would be more than I could deal with. And while I've been told that it could be fun to have another later-in-life child down the road, that doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I just don't think it would be fair to have three boys so close and then a fourth far behind, always struggling to keep up. Not to mention that I'm looking forward to someday being able to have a life again for myself and being able to enjoy my husband more. Don't get me wrong, I want these boys to grow up as slowly as possible, but at the same time it's nice to be able to imagine a time in the future where Brooks and I can decide to go to a movie or dinner alone without having to plan weeks in advance and get a babysitter etc. And maybe even a night away...

And then there's Dash. Fin has always been "wiser than his years" and also far more his fathers child than mine. Don't get me wrong, we get along and where we don't get along is easy to chalk up to the fact that we're far too similar, and of course I love him in a way that I think maybe you can only love your firstborn. But I still vividly remember the shock of bringing Dash home and looking at Fin who had suddenly morphed from my baby into this giant man-child. Dash is still my baby in ways that maybe Fin never was. He's clingy where Fin was always independent. He lavishes his baby love on me with hourly "I love you mama's" (which are almost always said while holding my face or petting me in some way) and is constantly placing my arms around him and asking for security with "got me mama? Got me?" It's going to be extremely hard for him to make this adjustment and have to share me with a new baby. And there's a lingering part of me that's just not ready for him not to be my baby anymore.

So, here I am, sitting here larger than I can believe and still not entirely sure I'm ready for this pregnancy to end. And I only have 28 days or less to be ready.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

With three boys, I had high hopes that I would be able to pass down large quantities of clothes. So I was somewhat shocked to realize that Fin (between school and camp) had in fact destroyed his first pair of sneakers. I had to photograph it for posterity, but I also have to add that the picture doesn't really do justice to the carnage. His toes were about to pop through and the insides are thrashed and falling out. Then again, I don't think Fin's feet have grown in a year so at least the wear justifies the destruction...

In other news, I had waited until today to do a Target run to pick up a few things, most notably presents to sock away for the boys from their new little brother. Fin has been wanting this Matchbox Shark Attack Bay Set Thing for months now and I told him it was too big for just an any-day treat and he'd have to wait for some kind of occasion. Dash has become OBSESSED with Yo Gabba Gabba and so I figured I'd pick him up something relative to that.

As I made my way to the car, Dash had a complete meltdown and wedged his sobbing body between the garage door and it's frame demanding to go with me. With so little time left before our relationship is intruded upon, I just decided to take him with me. (In case you were wondering, Fin considers me chopped liver these days and was more than content to stay with Dad!) As I was wandering down the toy aisles, I walked past all the baby dolls and was reminded of some adjustment advice bestowed upon me by many when I was pregnant with Dash. Buying the sibling a baby doll of their own can ease the transition. I wasn't worried about how that would go with Fin, but Dash is a whole different ball game so I began to reevaluate my boys and babydolls stance. Maybe Dash would be into that? So I started looking at my options. Not sure of how this was going to go, I quickly bipassed any dolls over $20 (much to Dash's chagrin as there was a loud crawling one I think he wanted). There were a bunch of Cabbage Patch newborn dolls on clearance but when I started sifting through the boxes, turns out it was only African American dolls left. Thankfully, I then spotted a little bean bag style baby with a plastic head for the bargain price of $2 - SOLD! (I'll let you know how Dash takes to "his baby")

But the whole ordeal reminded me of a story I'd heard second hand that originated on NPR's This American Life. I was trying to relay it to Brooks and badly butchering the story when I decided to see if I could find it online. Once again, thank you internets for being there! Here it is, just wait for it to load and then fast forward to 40:17 in the show. With my already-compromised bladder, it was tough not to wet my pants through some of it. Enjoy ;)

ETA: Here's the site for the Middleton Dolls if you weren't creeped out enough already

Friday, July 17, 2009

It's really hard to imagine that I could get any bigger, but it's totally possible that I could go a few more weeks!

I was telling Brooks this morning that Fin and Dash were both born the night of the new moon (which also happened to be Thursdays). Well, July's new moon is Tuesday (the 21) which feels a little soon. August's new moon is the 20th...which also happens to be a Thursday (as well as the day before my official due date). Brooks' face fell and he said "you CAN'T go that much longer!?!". Heh. I sure hope not! I'm feeling like I'll barely make it into August, but who knows! I've never made it even to 39 weeks before so that would be a record. But we've got everything ready for this little guy, I'd just like to make it to the 36 week mark. I'm feeling physically very ready for pregnancy to be over - my pelvis started "separating" this week, and yes, that is as painful as it sounds. The skin on my stomach feels like it could split open at any second and it's requiring a herculean effort to get up and down these days. I seem to be having contractions regularly every night and sometimes during the day as well and they HURT. Like seriously hurt! And that should mean something coming from someone who has never had a (working at least) epidural.

More next week after I see the Dr...

**And I had to edit this to add proof of how MOTHER TRUCKING hot it is here this week. Yeah, that shit says 112. UGH!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Fin has the stomach flu. I knew it was going around, so I wasn't entirely caught off guard, but DAMN, I did NOT need this now! I'm in the home stretch, feeling miserable to begin with, and wondering what the odds are that I can be doused in barf and not become infected. Yeah, that's what I thought. So for right now I'm splitting my time between watching Fin to make sure he's not ready to blow again and also keeping an eye on Dash and looking for signs that he's going to follow suit. The funny thing is that I can remember being this pregnant with Fin, hearing that the flu was going around and wondering if there could possibly be anything worse than going into labor while having the stomach flu. Here's hoping I don't have to find out.

In baby news, I'm HUGE. I know, you're tired of hearing that, but seriously! My belly button is actually protruding which it has never done before and I can't say that I'm a fan either. I'm on the two-week visit schedule now so next week I see the endo AND the OB. Other than the typical end-of-pregnancy pains and complaints, I have little to add. Blood pressure, Blood sugar and everything else are right in the normal range and I actually have zero swelling which is great since it's triple digits daily now. I spent some time this weekend looking at baby pictures of Fin and Dash. It's so hard to grasp how fast they grow and I can't believe we're soon to welcome another one! I was also thinking it's funny that Brooks was 30 when Fin was born and I'll be 30 when this guy arrives. I like when things work out like that.

Friday, July 03, 2009

I have to say, I'm sick and tired of being as big as a house. And yes, I'm actually starting to look forward to going back to the gym and doing more than just wheezing on the treadmill.

And then today I'm confronted with yet another image of a celebrity mama, holding a new-ish baby, while flaunting her "new post-baby physique" in a bikini. I actually don't think it would bother me as much if these women just owned up to the fact that they spend all day on the treadmill or other life-sucking contraption only to get off for a few minutes to spray tan and eat a few almonds or a slice of boneless, skinless chicken prepared by their personal chef all the while wearing their tauts cinched as tight as possible. I mean really, can I just get a little honesty here?

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Well, I spent most of yesterday at the Dr.'s being evaluated for my early contractions. These are not braxton hicks! They're the biggies that require you to stop everything that you're doing and concentrate. Totally sucks. Anyway, all looked ok and I was told to just lay low and go straight to L&D if I had more than 6 an hour. I just love how people can tell a woman with a 20 mo old and a 3.5 year old to LAY LOW and TAKE IT EASY without busting a gut laughing! I mean, really...

So I'd be lying if I said I was feeling great cause the truth is that I feel like total crap. My back hurts and I feel like someone kicked me hard several times in the crotch, my belly is huge and itchy and seems to catch on everything that I walk past. Brooks asked me if there could be two in there it looked so big yesterday, but after comparing with my belly shots from Dash I think I'm pretty much the same place (in the belly at least, the hiney, now that's another story!). The Dr. told me to hold out till at least 36 weeks and I think I can do this for three more weeks. Seven more would be pushing it, but I know that they won't let me go past 38 weeks because the alleged GD could cause a 30lb baby. So worst case scenario is that I have 5 weeks left. That I can handle. Now if only someone would come handle these two other kids for me...