Friday, 12 June 2015

HOW LONG TILL THE PRIVACY OF YOUR UTERUS IS INVADED?

Just writing this makes me want to
laugh out loud. Honestly, women have suffered.Once you get to a certain
age/stage in life, usually final year in school to post NYSC, your mum
and her friends start asking you if you've caught any 'Bobo'. In my
case, it was my mum's friends and aunties that did the
asking/harassing. I always wondered where river bobo is though. I mean,
the way they 'tease' you about when you'll invite them to wear aso-ebi,
you just have to wonder if there's a market where you can go to purchase
a man or a river to go husband fishing.

Anyway, so lets say you
have gone fishing and successfully caught your Bobo, you guys have gone
through the whole dating and courtship stage and are now finally
married, how long till people start asking either out rightly or
indirectly by alluding to the presence of a pregnancy.

In my
case, the questions started within the first month of marriage and it
was from my dear friends. Comments like 'you're back from honeymoon abi?
Sooo...you don carry belle? Or.. Morula dey? These ones we just laughed
over.

2nd month of marriage: my mum!!!

I took ill with
malaria and when I mentioned how weak and nauseous I was feeling, she
hung up and then called back immediately to ask if I'd had the painters
in. I rolled my eyes(thank God she couldn't see me) and replied with a
resounding YES MUM. Didn't know she was so eager to be a grandma
*scrunching face*. I later heard through the grapevine aka my sister PJ,
that my grandma, mum and great aunts said I shouldn't waste any time o!
Granny wants to see her great grand kids. Hmm... no pressure, no
pressure.

3rd month of marriage: Mother-in-law.

Mummy
dearest called hubby and asked if we are planning to have our first, at
the end of this year or first quarter of next year, so she could plan
her leave accordingly (err...do we have a say here at all mum? like maybe, we want to wait a bit and nurture our relationship before the kids come?). I just smiled and shook my head. At least it means many people willing to do omuguo for me right?

In
my case, it took two months for the questions to start rolling in and
nope, my dear friends don't count...lol. How long before you started
getting the well-meaning stares, insinuations, teases and questions?
Personally, I stopped doing that after I asked a friend and it turned
out she was having some difficulty conceiving. So my dear people, I know
you mean well but unless you are a first degree relative by birth or
marriage , please be sensitive. I'm being too nice. What I really meant
to say is it's really none of your business. #stayoutofmyuterus#