The Army Gave Us Pills

The Army gave us pills that turned us blackSo we could fight at night and not be seen;And when our tour of duty’s done they haveAnother pill to turn us white again.”That’s what we told the girls in every townIn France and Germany that we went through.We gave them chocolates, nylons, cigarettes;And they weren’t virgins, so we struck our deals.I’ve heard white soldiers told them we had tails.I’m sure a few of them peeked or they feltMy rear just to be sure it wasn’t true.But since they didn’t know the English wordFor “tail,” they couldn’t ask where it had gone.I realized it’s what the masters didTo slave girls, but at least they lived with blacks,And some babies were light enough, and passed,And moved away and said that they were Greek.I got home, married, had a family.A while back on TV I saw a showAbout the bastards soldiers left behindIn Vietnam, and what a dreadful lifeThey had, especially the half-black ones.Of course I’d wanted sex: I’m just a man.But was I also punishing them forLosing the war but disrespecting me?Or doing something that would get me lynchedAt home, but here they needed what I’d pay?I wondered if I’d fathered any there,In Europe in the ‘Forties. Babies madeBy white soldiers could easily fit in,But mine would stand out. Now I sometimes thinkThat I could go back, maybe track them down.But I’d feel guilty for the hand I’d dealtThem, boy or girl; so I’ll just sit and brood.An eighty-five-year-old man shaking handsWith some black senior citizen from there.Perhaps he or she moved here long ago,Or maybe came here recently to searchFor father whose full name she never knew.They’d carry an old photograph to show,Though I’d forgotten her face long ago.To father’s different than to be a dad.I’ve too much time now, and my thoughts turned sad.

ORIGINALLY A NORTHERN CALIFORNIAN, PETER MEHREN HAS LIVED IN FOUR COUNTRIES –INCLUDING KENYA WITH HIS BEAUTIFUL COVIVANTE AND THEIR INFANT, IN THE PEACE CORPS- AND HAS TRAVELED IN MANY MORE. DEGREES IN HISTORY, WITH SEVERAL COURSES IN ENGLISH AND DRAMA, PLUS TEACHER TRAINING. OVER THE DECADES HE HAS BEEN PAID TO MANAGE FARMS AND OFFICES; WRITE FICTION, NON-FICTION, RHYMES; ACT; TEACH; EDIT; PLAY MUSIC; PUMP GAS; FIGHT FIRES; AND OTHER ACTIVITIES. ENJOYS HAVING THOUGHTS PROVOKED –HIS OWN AND THOSE OF FELLOW CONVERSATIONALISTS AND CORRESPONDENTS. AS JONATHAN SWIFT PUT IT, “I HAVE EVER HATED ALL NATIONS, PROFESSIONS, AND COMMUNITIES; AND ALL MY LOVE IS TOWARD INDIVIDUALS….”