Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I just got back from grocery shopping, and while this has nothing to do with our trip to the local water park, I thought perhaps someone else could use a laugh at my expense. I was at my absolute favorite grocery store and feeling so happy to be finding grapes and peaches for only 49 cents/lb and heads of romaine lettuce for only 88 cents each. I love getting good deals! But then today they had tons of samples. I resisted them all except for the smoked Gouda popcorn. Made with non-GMO corn and mostly natural other ingredients, I simply couldn't resist it and decided it would make a fun treat for this week's popcorn and movie night. So, I grabbed a bag off the sample table and headed for the checkout. I just got home a few minutes ago and discovered that I must have grabbed the actual sample bag. It was opened and more than half gone (and no, I did not eat any). How could I have done that without noticing you might ask? Well, I'm asking myself the same thing. Can I blame it on mommy brain? OK, so maybe not, but at least you're laughing right? :)

Now, onto the actual post itself. This past weekend we decided to take a family trip to a water park not to far from us called Schlitterbahn. We have talked about going with Benjamin ever since he was born, and even this summer we weren't sure he was old enough to enjoy it. But we got to thinking about the fact that for all we know, we could be welcoming another baby into our family by next summer and then discovered that this summer is the last one where Benjamin is free, so we decided to go for it. And we were so glad we did! Benjamin has always loved the water and I think he thought he could live at Schlitterbahn. It's a great park for kids! There were at least four kids areas where he could do things on his own, which was big for him in his independant stage. Then there was another area with bigger slides that we could do with him and he loved it! We did ride one family ride that was fun, but probably less than 30 seconds total and not worth the wait. The really nice thing about all the other things we did was that there was no wait for any of it. I wish I had more pictures, but well, water and camera's don't mix too well and most of the time our camera was in the locker on the other side of the park, so you'll just have to imagine all the fun we had based on the few pictures we did take.

Rope ladder up to the kiddie slide

Loving the slides!

Benjamin wasn't too happy about having to be out of the water to take this picture

We never actually used this tube, but it was fun for a picture

After a very full day of play, he was asleep within minutes of leaving the park

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It has been a busy week and a half since I last posted. We attempted potty training, went to the water park (pictures to come in a future post), had some fun family time, and lived with one car for nearly a week. Both of our cars are very old and it looks like it's time to begin the search for a new one. We are on the hunt for a minivan. For now though, Matt was able to find someone to fix the car, so we have a little time to look. Yay! Benjamin was not at all upset at having only one car though as he thoroughly enjoyed riding the bus with me yesterday. I wouldn't have minded it either if it hadn't been 100 degrees and a mile to the bus stop. Praise the Lord I have a car today!

Here's some pictures of what we've been up to the last week and a half:

Playing with Daddy is always fun! And with boys, the rougher the better. :) Benjamin loves to be upside down!

Helping Daddy get the popcorn ready

I LOVE traditions! When I was growing up, we had a tradition of having waffles/pancakes every Saturday morning. I remember waking up to the smell of waffles cooking and the sound of my dad hurrying us to the kitchen to eat them while they were hot. When I was a teenager, I didn't appreciate how early they were ready, but I still have fond memories of Saturday mornings. So, our little family tradition has been Sunday night movie night. We make popcorn and eat it along with string cheese and veggie sticks while we watch a movie. So far we have watched three of the Love Bug series and now when the TV gets rolled out (it's kept in the closet), Benjamin immediately says "Herbie!" It's been fun to see him enjoying a tradition and remembering that it's popcorn and movie night.

Well, we gave potty training a try last week. After a couple of frustrating days, I decided that he's just not ready yet, so we'll try again in a few months. For now, he still enjoys sitting on the potty and asks to do so a couple of times a day. We'll stick with that for now. Doesn't he just look so cute sitting his little self on the big potty?

I think I've been going into nesting mode these past couple of weeks as I've felt the need to get the baby room ready for a baby whenever God chooses to bring another child into our family. So, I have been organizing baby clothes and cleaning out the closet in the baby room. Benjamin entertained himself nicely by playing in the totes.

With this crazy hot summer, I thought we'd try some yummy juice popsicles. It turned out that they were a little too difficult for Benjamin to figure out, but he enjoyed trying.

Reading continues to be one of Benjamin's favorite things to do and he is constantly bringing us books and asking us to read them. His current favorites are "The Bike Lesson," and any of the Trucktown Books set. I usually read each book several times a day.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I love it when Benjamin walks up to me and notices a scratch or bite and says "you OK?"

I love hearing Benjamin on his play phone talking to grandma, Uncle Joel, Aunt Melody, Aunt Esther, his friend Christy, his friend Cale, and who knows who else. I love hearing him speaking in gibberish like he's asking a question and then quickly following it up with "Yeah."

I love hearing Benjamin walk around saying "yes daddy, yes daddy." One day he will do it when Matt asks him to do something, but for now, he just likes to say it randomly.

I love that all of our adoption paperwork is officially in and that God has been so faithful today in giving me a heart of contentment.

I love that I went to Walmart last week and one of my very favorite hair products that I thought was discontinued was back on the shelf after more than a year of not being there. (I said random didn't I?)

I love that a coworker of Matt's just gave us a bunch of clothes for Benjamin and they are super cute! I love how God has provided so amazingly in the area of clothes for Benjamin ever since his birth.

I love that when I'm out driving and passing stores or roads to turn on, Benjamin is in the back saying "go in there? go in there?"

I love being a mom and can't believe sometimes how blessed I am to be Benjamin's mom. Some days are really hard, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I love my man!

I love Jesus and I love how He's drawing me closer to Himself right now.

OK, I know that was a random post, but I just felt kinda random today. I promise I will post pictures again soon. I had dead batteries in the camera for several days and then I keep forgetting to take pictures.

Oh yes, and we went to McDonalds today so Benjamin could play on their awesome play area and I bought us some french fries so I wouldn't feel guilty about letting him play. I love that now he's on the floor telling his truck all about french fries.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I'm not really sure why, but ever since Benjamin started moving around (scooching, crawling, walking, running,) I've always called him Little Bug. Yesterday, Benjamin got up before our alarm went off. Matt and I had stayed up way too late the night before and we were not quite ready for the day to start, so I decided to go get Benjamin and bring him back to bed with us. (I always have this fairytale idea of him being totally calm and just snuggling with us. Ha!) Anyway, when Benjamin walked into our room and saw Matt, he said "Hi Bug!" Cracked me up!

Monday, August 3, 2009

It's been a while since I posted much besides the activities of our summer. But between and in the the midst of those activities, we have been discussing and deciding on beginning the "process" again. After Benjamin's adoption, I thought I would be much more patient with the paperwork and the wait. I thought that since I would be busy with a child, I would be less emotional. But I guess I was wrong. Perhaps being caught up in the excitement of finally being a mom after 4 years of trying made me think I would never experience that "out of control" feeling again. But, here I am, asking myself once again if I really trust God with our family. I mean, saying I trust Him is so easy when life goes as planned, but when I'm in a place of waiting, and actually really have to trust, well, it's just easy to doubt.

We began the application paperwork for our next adoption at the beginning of July. It was exhilarating to finally feel like we had the go ahead to get started. But it was overwhelming too. When we filled out paperwork for Benjamin's adoption, there was a lot of uncertainty, but I was certain I was cut out to be a mom. But now that we have Benjamin and are a "returning" family to our agency, I found myself wavering as I looked over the application. There were whole sections of questions about what I found the most difficult in parenting, what things I would do differently with our next child, and what things I would do the same. I think now that I am a mom and know that my ideals of being the perfect mom are pretty unreasonable, those questions made me feel that out of control feeling again. That feeling of just wanting to be like everyone else who decides they want to have another child and then does. Without having to prove that I am a good mom (especially on a day when I have lost my temper with Benjamin or spent way more time on housework and cooking than with him) and without wondering if another woman will ever choose us to be her child's parents.

And then I come back to that trust issue. I'm realizing that when I get that out of control feeling, I actually do not trust God. I don't trust what He says in His word that He knows the plans He has for me and that they are for my good and not my harm. I don't trust that He will build our family without me being in control. I like control. I like to feel like I know what's going to happen and when and how it will happen. But that's not the way adoption works. I don't have two pink lines that tell me that in approximately nine months, we will have a baby. I have a stack of paperwork that we just turned in that tells me very little, other than that perhaps sometime in the future, after we go through some interviews, and then wait for an unknown amount of time, we will get to welcome another child into our family. But to trust in the meantime, without that control is SO hard! I need more faith. I want to come to the end of this journey we are again taking and look back having trusted that the Lord was sovereign no matter what happened along the way.

So, there you have it. We are on the adoption journey again, and it's not easier the second (or kind of third) time around. But, despite my feelings, I am choosing now to believe what I know to be true about my God. He is faithful and I think He has a few more lessons for me to learn as we journey down this road again.

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About Me

I married my best friend 10 years ago and 5 years later, we had the privilege of adopting our son Ben. In June of 2011 we were thrilled to discover that I was pregnant and we welcomed Elijah into our family in February of this year. I love the Lord and my prayer for my boys is that they would come to know and love Him with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.