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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

We are all beset with doubts sometimes. Even the most self-assured and successful people can be unsure of themselves. Some people are clearly more confident than others, though. To what extent this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ is unclear, though I suspect that ‘nurture’ has a lot to do with it. I’ve seen my own confidence wax and wane over the years, and external factors have certainly played a part. Some signs that you might be lacking somewhat in confidence are:

Thinking that other people are better than you

Expecting the worst outcome

Engaging in negative self-talk

Feeling the need to justify your behavior to others

Overreacting to criticism

Not having many friends or avoiding social situations

Body language that is defensive and closed.

If you have some of these traits, perhaps you need to consider building more confidence. Can this be done? I think it’s clear is that confidence, like most other traits, can be developed. Like a muscle, with training and in time, it can become strong and powerful. To put it another way: confidence is a habit – confidence begets confidence. Here are some training ideas to develop this most important of habits.

Make friends with your failings and limitations

This is a key area. Obviously, you are not perfect – far from it. So long as you are challenging yourself, stepping out of your comfort zone and seeking to develop, you will be making mistakes. The mistakes are signs of growth and nothing to be ashamed of.. Confident people are comfortable in their own skin, happy with themselves in all their imperfection. They have nothing to prove.

Don’t be pushy or aggressive

Confidence can manifest itself in many different ways, and sometimes there is a visibly assertive quality to it, but there is also a quieter and more restrained confidence. When you meet a confident person, you tend to pick up that the person is happy with himself and feels comfortable in her own skin. Confidence does not mean aggressive, pushy, loud or superior, which is often a sign of over-compensation for some kind of inferiority complex.

Don’t be defensive

Listening to and acting on criticism is an important part of being confident. It is often very hard for us to be objective about ourselves, and other people can give us great insights into our strengths and weaknesses. Of course, we have to be critical about the things that people tell us, not falling into credulity and taking everything they say at face value. But the insights afforded by others can be very valuable. If people laugh at you or attack you, this probably says more about them than about you. Insecure people often try to cover up their feelings of inadequacy by falling into such behaviors.

Do what you believe to be right

Confident people tend to rely on an internal guidance system to keep them going along the right track, whereas those with less confidence can be buffeted around by other people’s opinions and agendas. Having an inner compass is an essential part of living assertively and confidently, and following the compass can sometimes mean having to take risks. But without risk, there is no growth.

Set challenging goals

Confident people tend to live in a more conscious and deliberate way, setting goals for themselves. They are secure enough to tolerate failure, and are comfortable with not getting things right first time. If we are not growing, then we are falling back – there is always movement. As we challenge ourselves, our comfort zone grows, and this growth often involves the pain of failure. This pain is too much for insecure people to bear. But to confident people, failure is only a stepping-stone, not the destination.Sucess, for confident people, is inevitable. It’s only a matter of time.

Keep a record of your achievements

It is common for people with limited self confidence to compare themselves unfavorably with others. Such people may assume that others are ‘better’ and have achieved more, so it can be very helpful to make a list of achievements. If you do this, you may find that the list is longer than you thought. Imagine what you would think if this were a list of someone else’s achievements. Would you be impressed? Would you think highly of that person?

Learn to be optimistic

People who lack self-confidence are often pessimistic about the future and tend to think the worst. It’s important to replace negative, self-defeating mental chatter with upbeat, positive self-talk. All day long, thoughts are swirling around inside our head and we need to be conscious about this. Such self awareness isn’t easy, but with some gentle persistence you can become more aware of your thoughts and, when you catch yourself thinking in a negative way, replace the thought with something more positive. Examples of negative thinking are: exaggerating the negative aspects of things, taking things personally, feeling you are being blamed for things or feeling like a victim, to name just a few. Simply being aware of negative thinking modalities can be a great help in overcoming them. When you catch yourself thinking in such negative ways, try to replace the thought with something more self-affirming.

Take a balanced approach

The benefits of confidence are clear but, as with most things, too much of it can be unhealthy. Over-confidence, which can lead to errors of judgment and under-performance, is dangerous and should be guarded against. Confidence is about getting the balance right.

Relax

Confident people are more relaxed, happier and enjoy situations, however challenging, a lot more than those with low self-esteem, trusting that they can deal with whatever problems and challenges might arise. If you fail, if you get it all wrong, it won’t be the end of the world. If you’re tense and worried about how you’re being perceived, your energy is being wasted – it’s not going into the matter at hand. So let go, take the focus of attention off yourself, relax and enjoy the ride.

“Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The benefits of being confident are clear: you’ll be happier, more relaxed and probably healthier. You’ll use time more effectively because you won’t be worrying endlessly about other people’s opinions, and you’ll have a clearer sense of purpose, so you’ll be a lot more effective. Confidence, in a sense, is the key to happiness and fulfillment. So boost up your instant confidence today and feel the different XD

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. ~Henry Ford

Monday, August 16, 2010

One of my personal struggles is beating procrastination. Procrastination can cause PREVENTABLE problem and situation to escalate out of control. I think i have been engaged to this struggle quite some time to battle this habit. It is hard to get this this habit in control but if you are diligent and persistent in your effort this can be done.I hope you will the find the following tips are helpful in order for you to take control over any tendencies that you may put off....

Tip #1 Acceptance

If you are a procrastinator you must begin by acknowledging the fact that “You are a Procrastinator!” Once you have taken responsibility for your actions you can begin the process of correcting the behavior. It seems simple, but it is the first and most important step.

Tip #2 Decision

Once you’ve accepted responsibility for your actions as a procrastinator its now time to make a decision. Simply decide “NOT” to procrastinate anymore. Go ahead and say to yourself right now that you will not put things off.

Tip #3 Identify

Sit down and write out all of the ways that you tend to procrastinate. Actually seeing them on paper will help you identify, deal with, and avoid procrastination.

Tip #4 Measure

Now take some time out to sit down and reflect on all of the missed opportunities and goals not achieved because of your tendencies to procrastinate. Write them down on a sheet of paper so that you can see them. Ask yourself if the results of your procrastination was worth it or not.

Tip #5 Change

Get rid of old habits that are causing you to procrastinate. Replace your bad habits with good habits. For instance if you know that you need to exercise everyday replace the habit of not exercising everyday with the new habit of exercising at least 15 minutes daily.

Tip #6 Affirmations

Create a personal and powerful affirmation that you can say to yourself several times per day.Here’s one you can recite in the morning as you wake up: “I will not procrastinate today. It is unproductive. I have tasks to do, and I will write them down so I can decide which of them needs to be done by 12 noon. My goal is to finish at least 2 big tasks and 2 small ones”.

Tip #7 Rebound

If you are a chronic procrastinator like I am you will have setbacks. Don’t beat yourself up about it just pick yourself up and continue with the correct course of action. Learn from what happened and be more conscious of not letting it happen again

Tip #8 KISS

Keep It Simple S(insert your preferred word). Point here is to simplify your life as much as possible. If you simplify everything then you have fewer distractions. Fewer distractions gives you less of a chance of procrastinating. It’s easier to get things done when there is less to distract your attention.

Tip #9 Identify

Identify time wasters and eliminate them. Some common time wasters are: inefficient use of the family cars, too much TV, miscommunication misplacing personal itemsnot filing papers and documents.

Tip #10 Goals

The night before write down everything that has to be completed the next day. Then prioritize those tasks from the most important to the least important task. Select the top two tasks and make those tasks your must do tasks for that day. If you complete those two tasks then move on to the next task on your list. Any tasks left at the end of the day will be added to your new list for tomorrow and prioritized accordingly.

Procrastination is the most common and deadliest disease and its toll on your happiness and success. If you wait until all light are "green" before you leave your home, you will never start your trip to the top. The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, They are full of eagerness, zest, productivity... You can do too

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Absurdities and obstacle approach in an inappropriate manner and sometimes could withhold our ability to live a better life. Think back for a moment to the carefree days of childhood when your most pressing concern was what cartoon to watch or how to dress your favorite doll or action figure. Do you remember how peaceful and content you felt???? There are no reasons to be unhappy.. Old saying always goes "There are no such thing as bad weathers.. Warm Sunny shows how beautiful a day could be and Rainy day cleanses our soul and body." Its all in the state of mind. There are many ways to be happy. In some extend these 7 steps might help to fuel up your day with happiness ...Enjoy it!!

1) Be happy where you are now

Right now! Be thankful for what you have, instead of moaning about what you lack. Be satisfied with what you have when you are in pursuit of what you want.

2) Happiness, more than anything, is a choice we make every day

Happiness is a conscious decision. You choose to be happy today or you choose to be miserable. Your action/reaction is determined by how you choose to perceive a situation. Amusing illustration of a couple surrounded by a pack of crocodiles. The man thought “OMG Crocodiles!” while his wife thought “OMG Handbags!”

3) Happiness is understanding the things we can’t change yet and working on those we can

Some things are hard to change overnight. It’s unusual to change from a pauper into a millionaire in a day. Happiness is knowing that some things take more time. We can start by working on what we can change immediately.

4) Put a smile on your face. It changes how you think.

I was playing roller blade one Saturday evening and there was this beautiful girl(memang cute lah dia nie) I met while getting a drink. She smiled as we both walked towards the vending machine. I smiled back and allowed her to buy her drink first.

While on the skating rink, we passed each other a couple of times. I was trying hard to keep myself on my feet while to her embarrassment she also was falling happily. Our eyes met again. She smiled and I smiled back.

Then as she was making her way out of the rink, I smiled and waved goodbye. She smiled back. I could hear her friends asking “Is that your friend?” I didn’t catch her reply but I remembered her turning towards me with another smile. I returned the smile with a wave to her bewildered friends.

We didn’t exchange a single word. We didn’t need to. The smiles were enough to brighten up both our days.

5) Whatever you get, accept it and deal with it

All too often, when something bad happens, we are too quick to point fingers and start placing blame on everyone else. Happiness is about accepting responsibility and dealing with what comes your way. Blaming the whole world is not going to solve anything.

6) Problems = Catalyst to take Action

We should see problems as a catalyst for us to take action. Problems are good teachers, so learn to love them. Next time, when you face a problem at work/in business, remember to run up to your boss/partner and say, “We have a huge opportunity!”

7) Learn from the elephants!

How do you eat an elephant?Answer: One bite at a time.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?Answer: How do you breathe through that thing?

8) Put everything you have into whatever you are doing now

Do your best (100%) and life will support you!

9) It’s not what you get. It’s what you become that matters

Know what to expect – Expect a better you.

10) No one else is going to make you happier. Work on yourself.

A lot of people get things mixed up. A wife thinks about all the bad things her husband does while a widow remembers all the good stuff. That is the ultimate recipe for misery! Isn’t it better to switch the lists around?

Work on your mindset. See things from a positive light.

Happiness is in the way you think. No one can make you happy except yourself. I hope Faith will teach you something about happiness that goes beyond words.LETS TURN ON THAT HAPPY MOOD SHALL WE...XD

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About Me

I am not your ordinary boy and definitely I am not from an ordinary family. I did not came from an ordinary school either and my country is not an ordinary country.
I am blessed with the family that I have and what it had made me today. I hailed from a premier school but too bad that being in this country is nothing much to be proud of, except of being Malaysian. To make it short, I AM NOT ORDINARY!