Well. Every once in a while you find some words, a quote in this case, which makes you stop and think and it reaches into your business mind and personal mind. This was one of those quotes for me.

I am an introvert at my core. I think that makes the thought of a “world’s whisper” resonate with me because, well, this may sound obvious, but the world, the people in it and the thoughts that pervade the ether of each day are fascinating.

Fascinating to me and I actually believe fascinating to a lot of people. I think we all feel that way <albeit we get scared of the exact same things on occasion> but I think introverts just listen a little more closely to the whispers..

Regardless. While it may seem everything in the world is shouting at the top of their lungs, the good stuff whispers.

I know I am addicted to the whispers.

I know I am addicted to listening for them.

And I don’t understand why more people don’t have this addiction.

And I really don’t understand it now that we have the internet.

What do I mean? In the good old days, to hear the whispers, you needed to be physically engaged. You had to travel, sit & watch, immerse yourself in what is happening. If you were even slightly introverted, it could kind of suck. At minimum, a little uncomfortable.

In the good ole ‘new’ days you can lurk <if you are introverted> and be actively involved <if you are not>. Yeah. Lurking online sounds creepy, but if it is done with the intent to listen to the whispers of the world I find it difficult to find fault in the behavior.

While people will argue with me, I would suggest that it is just as difficult to hear the whispers online as it is to hear them in the physical world. I say that because regardless of the environment you are sifting through the noise and untangling that which is unimportant and tugging at the threads of what is important.

Personally I don’t really give a shit on the environment, online/offline/noisy/silent, all I care about is leaning in closely to hear the good stuff — the whispers.

All that said. Some of you may have no clue what the fuck I am taking about.

That’s okay.

You just haven’t heard the whispers yet. If you had, you would never stop listening for them.

It s the good stuff. Its the kind of stuff worth listening to (and listening for>. I could suggest it is within the whispers that you will find what truly matters, but I am not sure I can <I don’t have empirical support/research> so all I can say is that it is the good stuff.

It is the extraordinary thread woven amongst the beautiful blanket of the everyday ordinary.

====

“The idea of the extraordinary happening in the context of the ordinary is what’s fascinating to me.“

Chris Van Allsburg=====

And for those who haven’t heard the whispers?

It is worth trying.

You just have to listen closely. Sometimes you just have to lean into Life a little and listen just a little closer. The whispers are there and I can promise you, they are worth hearing.

“Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you’ll never achieve your true greatness — you didn’t choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose.”

–

Charlie Jane Anders

—

This is a fucking awesome quote.

I had no idea who Charlie Jane Anders was when I read this quote and I am now glad I found out who she is. She is an American transgender <author and commentator>.

Anyway. I am glad I did some research because I gained a better perspective on the depth of this quote beyond the fact, on its surface, I just liked it.

I like the thought of it.

I like the truth of it.

I like the circumspection aspect of it.

I like the aspirational perspective of it (I do believe each of us has a destiny if we elect to achieve it).

I like the simplicity, and complexity within, of it.

But. Coming from her point of view brings this quote to an entirely different level.

It shifts from merely communicating in platitudes to generating a deeper understanding that life chooses your destiny for you, everyone is included in that “you,” but its up to you to choose whether you accept your destiny.

Look.

It is easy to flinch from your destiny. Very easy.

Shit. It is easy to see how she would have flinched. And probably did at some point.

And yet this woman who was born in New England and was herself a choirboy.

Who has stated that she has been cross dressing since “definitely in my early teens.”

Who has also self-identified herself as genderqueer and a trans woman.

At some point she chose … yes … she chose … to follow the destiny life chose for her.

Easy?

Yikes. I imagine not.

Inspirational? You bet.

I respect her. I am envious of her strength of character.

So, my friends, if she didn’t flinch from her destiny then none of us have an excuse.

None.

Zero.

Everyone has a skill, everyone has some potential within, everyone has been “chosen” to do something with their Life.

So. I am using a quote from a guy who probably was one of the best at seeking out ‘events’ rather than fear or avoid them. Therefore, it would be impossible to use my time today to discuss worrying about things that will never happen and fear of what could be, instead, this is all about the ‘impending event’ and fearing it.

In Nelson’s case it was huge cannons shooting big iron balls at him with the intent of taking his head off (and whoda thunk it would actually be a mini ball that would get him in the end).

But. You know what?

He took that bullet that killed him standing in full admiral dress uniform on the main deck in full view of his men and all his enemy to see. He was Leading.

Did he feel “fear?” Sure.

I am sure somewhere inside him he had to feel something. But the event took precedent.

I say that because fear, dread and worry are odd things. But very real odd things.

And because I am writing about ‘the event’ itself I will note these odd things affect ‘the event’. Ok. Maybe better said … they affect your performance at the event.

It is really important to talk about this. REALLY important. It is important because well all know that success, and effective performance, is most likely found in, as in ‘within’, the moment of the event … if you are not frozen with fear. It is actually called “seeking flow” (or Flow moments) but suffice it to say there is a certain ‘peace’, a certain contentment, if you can figure out how to accept the moment as it is (and you actually want to do your best at the event).

Fear saps focus.

Fear saps peace.

Fear saps contentment.

Fears saps flow.

And, worse, fear saps energy.

—————-

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

——————-

Now. I will change this quote for my needs and say “it only saps today of its energy.” The constant litany of everything that should have been done, everything that needs to be done, everything you wish you had time to have done, all of which (in your mind) should be done better, sap energy that could be invested in the event.

That is a fine list of things I just shared all of which I would suggest are driven of fear of the event.

Now. I am not suggesting not being prepared or thinking through what needs to be done or anything like that. But events are meant to be commanded not feared. And the difference between approaching an event looking at both of these is significantly different.

I am sure we all have encountered that familiar tightening in your gut as you not only near the event but sometimes just even thinking about the damn thing.

And you know what? Deep breaths don’t do shit. Convincing yourself that everything will be okay doesn’t do shit. And building the perfect plan CERTAINLY doesn’t do shit.

(because inevitably it will all go to shit and you will fester and worry about that)

Let me tell you the conclusion of what will occur AFTER the event with worries … one of these 2 things:

“None of it happened (what I feared or worried about).”

“Some of what I feared happened.” (but it the world didn’t stop spinning)

Oh.

And then you will sit back and say “Shit, look at all the time I wasted” (fearing the event). I don’t want to diminish what anyone, and almost everyone, feels when an event occurs, but the truth is that the anxiety and fear associated with the event is a big fat frickin’ waste of time.

This includes imagining how everything was going to turn out badly was a waste of energy.

(and the people who suggest that doing such things made everyone better prepared are wrong … unequivocally wrong)

Some guy who had a crappy education and ended up on CNN or something like that said: “I’d been so focused on my doubts, on replaying that tape of me at my worst, that I’d forgotten who was truly helping me become the best I could be.”

Dude.

You got it (the issue). And you got it (what you wanted). So why waste all that energy on your ‘worst’ or your fears of the event because, well, you got it.

Ok.

The point.

Yeah.

I purposefully selected probably one of the best naval commanders of all time to make this point.

You can fear the event or you can command the event.

Boldness, or commanding the moment, does have a certain power to it. I won’t call it magic, but rather energy. And that makes fearing what is actually something that is inevitable (the event) is just plain silly. And just a plain waste of energy.

I don’t care if it’s a presentation, a speaking event, your driver’s test, an interview or, well, anything that could be construed as an event in everyday Life.

Accept they are inevitable events and seek to command.

Do not enter into the event in fear.

Stand on the deck amongst the bullets in full uniform and take what will come.

But.

Command. Do not fear the event. Command the event. To be clear. This does not mean you will win or, in the case of Nelson, die. But what it does mean is all the energy you do have will be focused on doing your best in the event which, well, means even if you lose, at least you have lost giving it your best.

“If people were employed at creating heaven on earth, everybody would be happy; instead each one is creating his own heaven by creating hell for others.”

―

Bangambiki Habyarimana

==================

“Self-interest makes some people blind, and others sharp-sighted.”

—

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

===============

Well. As a business guy I most often view Life, government and politics, as well as business issues, thru a business lens.

It is fairly rare that I view business through a government prism. And, yet, as I sat down to discuss self-interest and managing self-interest as a leader I found that using a governing prism was the most appropriate.

Self-interest sounds like it could be defined fairly simply because, well, it revolves around ‘self.’

Ah. But ‘self’ depends on who is looking in the mirror as well as whatever ‘grouping of selfs’ you would like to gather up and discuss — in other words … self interest can vary depending on where you are standing.

That said, let’s discuss self-interest from a governing perceptive. Basically, self-interest can be captured in three concentric circles:

Self.

Country.

Global.

The business version could be self, group, company or self, company, country or, well, you get it.

Hmmmmmmm … ‘you get it.’ I do wonder if someone hasn’t worked in a larger company or even if they have but haven’t attained some management role if they ever ‘get it’ <completely at least>. Even being in management one can decide to keep their head down, under the guise of being focused on my responsibility, and just assume someone above in management is worrying about the larger picture and larger “interests” which will either benefit me or will not benefit me.

I learned this lesson early on in my management career – once I started managing a group. When I assumed the responsibility I assumed everyone would at some point do what I had done — changed companies and got new jobs. To be clear, I didn’t assume that everyone would actually do it I just assumed they would want to do it at some point. Therefore I viewed managing people and talking with people and leading the people through the full range of concentric interest circles. Simplistically, in my head, I said “I will train you and develop you so that you will be successful wherever you go from here.” My objective wasn’t just to make my group’s ‘self-interest’ a priority but rather insure that self, group, company and industry were all aligned so that the expertise and the ‘self’ could meet interests in all places at any time.

Yeah. That created some challenges.

Yeah. Sometimes it created some friction <because your group was always looking at other groups wondering why they did shit you didn’t do as well as it sometimes created a slightly different bar to meet than even the company itself may have demanded>.

But, yeah. It always created the best version of each employee <and me I imagine>.

I say all that because no good leader will ever suggest it is all about one circle of self interest.

They know it is not only foolish but not true.

Meeting the need of each circle of interest is never trickle down or even trickle up, it is more often the three ‘circles of self’ in a line in which little balls are constantly weaving their way side-to-side — think maybe the eyes of the Cylons in BattleStar Galactica.

Meeting interests at all self-levels takes work. And most of us being managed or living in the everyday world are okay with that when it is explained. But explaining it is important and maybe HOW you explain it is even more important.

While people are mostly well-meaning <albeit in today’s world we would criticize the way Jesus put on his sandals in the morning> most of us truly do not care about the decision maker’s decision making process or even the decision maker’s fate and we certainly have no interest in putting ourselves into the decision maker’s shoes.

Yeah. We naturally have self-interests and we weigh our own self-interests as we view the decision we will inevitably judge <prioritizing the other self interests as lower than our own but not mutually exclusive>.

You want a little of this without having to endure a little of that.

In other words, you want everything. You want to stand upon principles, you want the greater good to be served … uhm … without sacrificing anything. And, yet, we are more than willing to sacrifice some things for the greater good. Economists call this “the benevolence of self-interest.”

It is too simplistic to look at people as mere ethically agnostic optimizing machines.

At the foundation of all economic theory, and behavioral theory, is the assumption that people are driven/grounded by the rational pursuit of self-interest. But, as everybody knows, people are not rational and they often act selflessly wherein things like honor, duty, love, etc. enter into the interest calculation.

When it comes to self interest, all circles that is, the evaluation does not solely reside in satisfaction of needs & wants, but also in desires, purpose & welfare of others — and, yes, that includes global & country as well as individual.

I say all this because while self-interest is extraordinarily powerful, it is not the end all.

And you know what? Most of us know that in our heart of hearts.

So when a leader stands up and suggests it is all about you and that ‘the other people’ who build initiatives and businesses which recognize the other circles of interest do not have your best interest in mind, while it sounds tasty, we know it will give us heartburn later.

Oddly enough I think of this type of false leadership as someone who is willing to put down the virtues of other people simply to bolster their own.

===============

“We’ve all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don’t want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest.”

Four <Divergent>

=============

And because I just pulled a quote from the Divergent series let me share some words in the Dauntless Manifesto:

=======

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.”

Dauntless Manifesto <Divergent>

===========

Well. There is a thought for any business leader to wrap their head around. No. There is a BIG thought.

In a me, me, me world <or at least it sometimes feels that way these days>, in a world where if I see something like ‘no one will stand up for you but yourself’ … or … ‘the only one you can count on is yourself’ one more time, I will, well, begin to lose a little faith in humanity. Needless to say this thought is something we should all wrap our heads around. Especially someone whose responsibility it is to view the three concentric circles of interest and lead people through them all.

A good leader need not be brave but they certainly must have some courage – courage to tell the truth & courage in convictions.

Therefore circles of interest may actually come down to ordinary acts of courage.

Courage as in stepping in front of criticism.

Courage as in stepping in front of ‘doing nothing.’

Courage as in stepping in and doing what is right <even if it may not be the easiest thing to do>.

Managing the circles of self-interest as a leader is an almost impossible task.

Pull one lever and another lever is released.

But I would argue, vehemently, that the leader who embraces the circles of interest in their interconnectedness inherently understands that separation is an illusion.

====

“The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. We are all one people. But we live as if divided.”

The Last Airbender

===

While as a leader you seek to identify with the individual as unique the underlying truth is that we are all one people who simply live as if divided. And that belief is at the core of how one manages against all three concentric interest circles as you work continuously to see that employees identify their personal success with the success of the organization and the industry itself.

Anyway. Great businesses, and countries, are multifaceted and multidimensional. I would suggest inherent in that strength are natural divides between the facets and the dimensions andnatural connections between the facets and dimensions. Good business leaders know that. And they don’t fight it but rather simply figure out a way to get all the squirrels herded in the same direction.

From the outside people may only see squirrels running around aimlessly.

From the inside you see squirrels digging up sustenance and storing it up at the nest for the benefit of the future survival and prosperity.

And it all revolves around ‘circles of self interest.’

That is the challenge every leader faces in managing a business and a larger organization. And the multiple circles make it often extremely difficult to judge leadership <because we would prefer the simplicity of judging one circle not how they all coexist>.

As Montaigne said … “truly man is a marvelously volatile, various and wavering creature: it is difficult to base a stable and uniform judgement upon him.”

A good business leader juggles the circles of self interest and sometimes it is a little volatile and almost always wavering in some way. Yet, when well done and well-articulated, it is marvelous to see and offers marvelous benefits to all circles of interest <success in one begets success in another>.

What I can unequivocally state is that any so-called leader who focuses solely on one circle <your self-interest is most often the one> is not a leader … and should not be trusted.

I admit.

I have little, if no, patience for a leader who suggests he/she will make all decisions based on self-interest, or what is best for the ‘kitchen table in every home’, and by doing so success will “trickle up” to all other circles of interest.

I have no patience because it is not only a lie but is ignorant of how things work … well … if you want enduring success that is.

I have no patience because, in their lie, they are creating a vision of heaven for you which, in reality, is a hell for all.

Ok. I almost called this ‘giving a damn’ , but, this is about the relationship between nervousness and giving a shit about something. Here is the basic equation <logic flow>:

==

– Giving a damn means you are thinking about something <because you can’t give a damn about something you aren’t thinking about>.

—

– Thinking is good <especially if it is on something you give a damn about>.

–

– Being nervous CAN be good <but pretty much all of us get nervous when we give a damn about something>.

==

Bottom line on being nervous and nervousness.

All are aspects of giving a shit.

All of which are also aspects of worrying.

Yup. Worrying.

Worrying about being good enough or ‘having enough’ or just ‘doing as well as I can.’

Ok. Here is a Life truth <beyond the fact everyone gets nervous>. Despite what you may think about yourself … and despite the fact you worry, the truth is, more often than not, you do a lot of ‘right’ <right things, right decisions and right thoughts>.

Despite that Life truth we do a lot of navel-gazing <and worrying> when it comes to thinking and ‘having enough’ when it matters.

Oh. About that ‘what matters’ and when we get nervous about having enough thought.

To me it often feels like we’re having too many conversations about things that don’t matter and not enough about things that do. This translates into getting nervous, if not even investing energy, towards a lot of things that just do not matter.

We have gobs of incredibly smart, resourceful, creative thinking people in today’s world and, frankly, I wish we would spend more of our precious attention, energy, and ideation skills solving meaningful things that mattered.

In addition. I also wish more people accepted they had ‘enough’ to deal with all the shit that matters. This also means we just need to accept that being nervous is just part of the gig.

Anyway. Let me share two aspects of nervous and giving a shit.

First.

Nervousness is just a reflection of the fact you recognize that there is something to lose when you care.

Now. This isn’t ‘caring about losing’, but more about ‘losing if I care.’ Some people have this equation out of whack in that they simply believe losing any time is bad. It is out of whack because, simplistically, we care about some things more than others. The winning or losing isn’t, and shouldn’t be, tied to the outcome but rather the ‘level of caring.’

==

“The more you care, the more you have to lose.”

Harry Potter

==

In my mind your nervousness should be used more often as a platform for discussion or thinking or even level of caring. But, please, … please … don’t make nervousness based on some fear of doing the ‘wrong things.’

Just figure out what you care about, and, accept the fact that if you care that the outcome matters more, and, accept that if it matters more you will be nervous.

<this equation is quite effective in deductive thinking about yourself and things about yourself>

Second.

Nervousness and anger. Beyond being tied to caring or level of caring … nervousness is absolutely tied to anger.

===

“My anger at the world coils inside of me. It’s a directionless seething, there’s no name or face to aim at.”

The Sky So Heavy by Claire Zorn

==

Nervousness always has a direction.

That is why I get aggravated when someone says ‘I just don’t know why I’m nervous.’

Well. Being nervous always contains an aspect of some … well … anger. You get angry that a world demands so much of you and you get nervous that you cannot <or may not> meet what the world demands.

This doesn’t mean that you are not capable nor does it mean that in some form or fashion you do not enjoy rising to the occasion. What it means is that you get a little angry just being put in the position <that makes you nervous>. Just think of it this way … your anger coils inside you and comes out externally as nervousness.

But … you know what? Some anger is quite productive.

Some anger motivates you to action and stepping up rather than stepping back <or not stepping at all>. But this also means that some anger translates into being nervous.

Anyway.

I am fairly sure everyone gets nervous about things <in general>. But I am absolutely positive everyone gets nervous about the things that matter to them.

I imagine I wrote this because people just don’t like being nervous.

They don’t like the feeling.

And my fear is that maybe in avoiding being nervous … maybe they avoid things that matter.

Look.

Accept the burden of nervousness.

You have to.

If you don’t, then most of the things you do will … well … not matter. Suffice it to say that Life is too short to not do things that matter so, go ahead, be nervous.

“It is perhaps the misfortune of my life that I am interested in far too much but not decisively in any one thing; all my interests are not subordinated in one but stand on an equal footing.”

–

Søren Kierkegaard

====================

“I wasn’t much of a petty thief. I wanted the whole world or nothing.”

–

Charles Bukowski

=================

So. Last night I had a little time before I shut down my computer to scrounge around some of my favorite websites for some thoughts, quotes and images. I don’t really believe in serendipity but within 15 minutes on three different sites I gathered the three quotes that anchor this piece.

………… restless thinking one big adventure ……..

I sat back after copying them and I realized, well, it is perhaps the misfortune of my Life that I am interested in far too much.

My misfortune is that I am incessantly curious, a relentless contrarian to existing thought & thinking and a restless thinker in general. My misfortune is that I see restless thinking as one big adventure.

I sat back after copying them and I realized I am not satisfied being a petty thief … I want the whole world.

And as I sat back I also thought a little about how I got to this place.

Growing up I remember hearing a lot of “maybe you should be more realistic” type advice. I remember it chafing.

It made me think … well … I should think smaller.

That chafed.

I am sure the ‘safer’ aspect … aiming toward more achievable things and not stretching too far possibly felt okay … but I chafed on the whole thought of not getting what I thought could be achieved or what could be done.

Shit.

I still do.

Going small just seems … well … small to me.

And, yes, there is a price to pay for thinking this way.

Ok. I will point out two prices you pay.

The first price is restlessness.

Oh. And restlessness can make people feel uneasy. It makes them uneasy because you are not easily slotted. People want you to present them with a peg and they can put it in some hole and thinking about it and look at it.

People, like me, who have the misfortune of being interested in anything and everything and not satisfied with one thing are more of a box. And while boxes represent some symmetry and some tangible aspect for people to grasp, at the same time, … sigh … it is not a peg

The second price is wins … as in quantity of wins.

Even I, probably a more pragmatic aspirationalist, don’t aim toward some truly realistic things on occasion. That means not getting done what you want to get done, not getting where you want to get to and not getting, in general, the largeness you desired. In other words you didn’t get a win while someone who aimed lower or accepted something smaller did get a win.

Does that matter? I mean life doesn’t really give out trophies, people do.

Yeah. It does matter. Watching others win when you don’t does matter to some extent. And you would be lying if you didn’t admit that.

Aiming for it all, or something bigger <more broad> than something smaller <more focused>, and not getting it can make you start thinking smaller. And why do you do that? You want a frickin’ win.

And that, well, that can affect how you think and what you do.

It does so because many of us are willing to compromise some fairly important things to win on occasion.

Shit. Even more of us are willing to compromise a lot of fairly important things <which they hadn’t even tangibly decided were important to them> in order to win on occasion.

Oh. I bring up the second group because they are the ones who don’t get the ones who have the misfortune of wanting bigger things. It’s like a petty thief most likely scoffs at the master thief.

Uhm.

But those people may just call this reality <and, therefore, kind of suggesting those who have the misfortune of wanting to know everything about everything are not realistic>.

Whew. Yeah.

It is quite likely that my reality, and those whose reality is similar, fights reality itself – I mean society & culture creates lines of reality of which we get boxed in by with regard to expectations.

Umberto Eco is the one who suggested life has “lines of resistance.” This was his version of reality.

These ‘lines of resistance’ are established mostly so that we cannot say or do whatever we like with impunity. The problem with that is they also bring along some baggage … baggage like … uhm … what is viewed as pragmatic & realistic <smaller versions of shit that are achievable by many rather than few>.

Oh.

Yeah.

But, thankfully, the lines of resistance can shift.

But, thankfully, some can reach across the lines of resistance and gain access to some bigger shit which lies outside the lines of resistance.

All that said. Life, and these lines of resistance, encourage some people … mostly those who have the misfortune to be interested in far too much but not decisively in any one thing to shrink them … encourage them to think smaller and, inevitably, maybe be smaller than what they should be.

==============================

“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself.

Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me.

Because I didn’t want to be a burden.

I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered.

But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being.

I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth.

Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honour my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority.

I choose me.”

Daniell Koepke

=================

Let me be clear.

Smaller is safer. Smaller can actually be very satisfying. Smaller, in some ways, can actually permit you to live a fuller Life <although I would argue it’s not really a bigger Life>. And while small, in this case, could be construed as bad or lesser than … it is not. It is simply a viable choice for people with regard t their Life and how they want to live it.

Just as those who have the misfortune to want the whole world, well, that is their choice.

And I would argue that whatever your choice we are all aiming toward the same place … lets call it our “home.” That home within. The place within you that either sits on the favorite Barcalounger safe & sound in a Life lived well in smaller aspects or the one who wanders forever restlessly over hill & thru the dale seeking the next interest or learning or new thing.

Personally, I am the latter. I am a nomad thinker. I want to know it all. And when I know something I want to know more. But that topic is for another day.

==============

“All of life is a coming home.

Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home.”

Patch Adams

====================

Today I would suggest whether you have the misfortune of wanting to know it all or whether you believe in something bigger than you or simply believe there is something bigger within you to be found by not wanting it all … your compass & your map resides within … not some external place or location which may appear to fulfill some aspect of ‘home.’

“Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely that, when others see us, they know exactly how it should be done.”

—

Rudy Francisco

=====

Ok.

Society norms.

Group norms.

Individual norms.

They are (kind of) the three behavioral levels of why we do the shit that we do.

Each is powerful in its own right. And while creating alignment within all three can sometimes be a real bitch of a challenge, I would actually suggest we should view individual behavior the following way:

Society norms.

Individual norms.

Group norms.

I suggest this because I believe individual norms, our personal behavior, is constantly being squeezed by society overall as well as the groups in our circle of influence.

I note this because, if you are not careful, you get squeezed into, well, maybe not nothingness, but certainly “lessness.”

I note this to suggest you almost always have to fight back.

Okay. How about this instead?

Let’s say you gotta sharpen your elbows and create some space for you in between what society is suggesting <which often feels a lot like it is actually demanding> and what your current circle is outlining as the right way to think and behave.

It is fairly easy to sharpen your elbows and fight back, but without some thought you are simply fighting. You end up fighting with no purpose other than it feels good to fight back in some way. And while fighting back in and of itself is somewhat satisfying because you feel like you should it is less than satisfying because it has no real focus or purpose. I will not suggest it is completely ‘wasted energy’ but it is certainly less than efficient use of your energy.

So what about the ‘thought’ part then? This is where ‘knowing what you want and knowing who you are’ rears its ugly head.

Being “anti” something is pretty easy. I could actually suggest in some ways it is lazy. But what I do know for sure is that being “for something” is hard. Like … well … really hard. You not only have to convince yourself that what you are standing for is something … but also mentally accept it is not going to perfectly align with your group norms as well as the societal norms. Yeah. That means on occasion, maybe even often, you may not be in alignment with all the shit going on around you.

I would argue the former, convincing yourself, is the most difficult part.

Why?

Who I am today is not who I will be tomorrow … combined with … you cannot really hide from what will be … which makes fighting back partially a constant battle of movement and adaptation.

Here is what I know.

Society is not always right.

Your group is not always right.

So why should you always have to be right?

Fighting back isn’t about being “right.” It is simply about fighting for what is right … you. I will not call it individual rights but rather the right to be an individual. Maybe it is also partially a fight for the part of you that you love. I imagine this suggests you gotta find a part of yourself to love … but that I most likely a different post and thought for a different time.

But I love the quote I opened with. It is different than the typical “you have to love yourself before you can …” idea.

It is more about the benefit to you.

It is living Life by example. And maybe that is the bigger thought.

Fighting back against society … against some of your circle of acquaintances norms … is not about simply fighting for fighting sake but rather fighting to show that you, who you are and what you do, shines a fierce light on something you love <who you are and the things you do>.

Yikes. That’s kind of a scary thought. Maybe it is a “hope to attain one day“ type thought.

And you know what? That’s okay.

Hard.

But okay.

Hard because society & group norms suggest the only way you can fight back is to “know now” and not “hope to be.”

Fuck ‘em.

We are a work in progress. All of us and all ‘norms.’

No matter what society says and your group norms state <sometimes unequivocally> we are a constant work in progress. The fight is never a battle for ‘lessness’ … no one can even kiddingly suggest that … all norms at all levels desire ‘moreness.’

They may just not know how to do it or what it looks like.

If you love your ‘work in progress self’ fiercely maybe, just maybe, you will show how it’s done.

So. This is about ‘doing your best.’ This one was trickier to write and share thoughts on than I thought it would be.

Why? Well. Mainly because I wanted to write something hopeful, but I didn’t want to compromise my beliefs on responsibility <and responsibility of actions>. The balancing act was trickier than I thought.

Ok. That said.

I imagine most of us probably feel like we are ‘doing’ somewhere between okay and good in most areas of life. We are, in our minds, doing a decent job day to day. Some days better than others but overall decent.

But doing your best? Whew. I don’t think so. Maybe at moments, but all the time in life?

Well. Ok. The key point, or issue, comes down to ‘definition of best.’ Because unless maybe ‘best’ is simply another way of saying ‘doing enough’ (or “doing what I can with what I have”) most of us are really not factually doing our best.

See. This is where it got tricky for me.

Does suggesting “doing your best” become just another way of condoning mediocrity?

Is ‘decent job’ the same as ‘doing your best’?

Is it instead simply used to make someone work harder for goals?

Maybe it only reminds you that you can’t be perfect and to take it easier on yourself?

Anyway. I began writing this because … well … we <or at least I> seem to hear “just do your best”all the frickin’ time.

Just do your best at work.

Just do your best as parents and your kids should turn out okay.

Just do your best in school.

Just do your best on this project.

‘Just do your best’ … bla bla bla.

Me?

I get confused. Simplistically, one would think that “do your best” should be, well, our best. No ifs, and or buts. Bottom line the absolute best you can do.

Unfortunately it is not that simple. It seems often <too often in fact> “just do your best” often ends up meaning “just do something” <or maybe, to be kind, ‘I did the best I could given what I had’, what the situation was and/or whatever you want to add here>.

So. Under the harshest spotlight you would never truly, in your heart of hearts, judge this as really your best.

It is a caveated best. A derivative of best as it were.

And because ‘best’ has been watered down so much I think people begin using the phrase to mean “don’t overdo everything and exhaust yourself trying to meet everyone’s expectations.”

Wow. Is that what it’s supposed to mean? Or maybe it is actually “decide for yourself what ‘your best’ is and strive to meet that goal.” <reprise> Wow. Is that what it’s supposed to mean?

I am not sure which is worse.

Well. Actually. Neither is particularly bad it is just neither really has anything to do with ‘best’ and yet they are both associated in some form or fashion with ‘best.’

Ok. And this next thought I know I am guilty of. We are very quick to suggest … “you are doing the best that you can.” And, in actuality, we are not. You know you could do more (if the measure is truly our best).

Look. I recognize chasing perfection is exhausting and I truly believe chasing perfection is an endless pursuit <and a bullshit unhealthy objective>. And, frankly, if you try to do this you only put yourself under unbearable pressure aiming to be the perfect version of who you are. Honestly, inevitably, this quest can only bring disappointment … because not only is being perfect an impossible task but it becomes exponentially more impossible (ok … how can something that is already impossible become exponentially so? … its kind of like getting three death sentences …) if you actually attempt to do “it” all the time. Someone can waste far too much time and energy trying to be the perfect whatever. Sure. None of us want to be ‘less-than-perfect’ in anything we do, but it is a fact of life.

But. Here is some news. Ok. No. Here is the fact. Doing your best isn’t about perfection … it isn’t always trying to be perfect. Because doing your best is about … good enough that you can actually do … not perfection. And realizing that making use of what is not is often doing your best.

“Take advantage of what is there by making use of what is not.”

chapter 11 of Tao te Ching

There is a famous quote that suggests do what you will with you have <usually cited to good ole Teddy Roosevelt>.

I assume Teddy created his quote as sort of the antitheses of the Tao quote above.

Ok. A greater (deeper) thought). Often people say “I don’t have what I need” as an excuse for not doing their best.

Stop.

Stop it.

Instead — feel good about making use of what is not there.

In doing so it suggests finding an advantage, a freedom in other words, to do something because something isn’t there to impede you. It isn’t a lack of resource but rather a freedom to find that which will make you successful. You are unencumbered by what may be there and instead free to build upon the little that is there.

In the business word it is “find the empty space.”

In the Bruce world (who doesn’t really buy the fact that there is ever – maybe rarely – really empty space) it is more the fact it is not actual empty space, it is ‘where do you want to sharpen your elbows and create some elbow room’.

That is all about taking advantage of “what is not.”

I don’t care what is not is made up of, but let me suggest first and foremost, its attitude. Or belief. Or whatever words you want to put to that thought.

Buddhism is infamous for focusing on what is not apparent. Ignoring the obvious and focusing on what is really important (the intangible).

Am I suggesting their perspective on how to approach things you face in everyday life (or business) may be enlightening? Yup.

It’s quite possible that this is the contrarian in me that makes me believe this way (which I have to assume would send some Tibetan monk through some proverbial roof to hear) but who cares? It’s thoughtful. It’s insightful. It’s stuff that maybe makes you think about things in a different way than maybe other people around you thinks of things and, frankly, in my eyes that is enlightened thinking.

Ok.

In the end.

Don’t think about perfection as ‘your best.” Best is ‘effort + attitude’.

And just, well, do your best.

Choose the moments and truly do your best <and admit the other times just aren’t your best you are just muddling through>.

Why?

I believe every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Therefore if you perform any action the results will come, maybe not today or tomorrow … but at some time. So if you keep your mind in that place and truly do your best at the right time and mentally unattach yourself from the outcome of the ‘best’ actions <and the concept of perfection> I think more people would be happier … and they may actually do their best more often.

And, maybe more importantly, if you do not try and fool yourself into believing you had done “your best” in certain situations you may be able to manage your life expectation-wise a little better.

Regardless.

Doing your best.

“We don’t need to be anything or anyone. We can just be us.”

Be yourself. Cause I believe we would all like to be the best version of ourselves.

It was Frederick W. Taylor’s purpose to make the laborer worthy of his hire; to make the hire worthy of the laborer; to make the standard of living and the conditions of working worthy to be called American. The American standard of living implies a wage adequate for proper housing and food and clothing, for proper education and recreation, and for insurance against those contingencies of sickness, accident, unemployment, premature death or superannuation, which fall so heavily upon the working classes. That standard implies hours of labor sufficiently short to permit those who work to perform also their duties as citizens and to share in the enjoyment of life. That standard implies postponement of the working period to an age which enables the child to develop into a rounded man or woman. That standard implies working conditions which are not only consistent with the demands of health and safety, but are also such as may make work for others what it was for Taylor—the greatest of life’s joys.

Louis D Brandeis

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Business has always been part art & part science. The challenge became when maximizing profitability became an imperative because that is when science was prioritized over the art.

This has been true for quite some time but the dynamics of it have changed over time. As effectiveness or maximizing value (even of employees) has been subjugated to efficiency this business thinking has increasingly had to face increased transparency & business savviness. What the transparency has done has put an increased pressure on being able to articulate effectiveness, or the art, of doing business. that said. Efficiency is always easier to articulate, therefore, the majority erred on the side of efficiency (driving closer & closer to commodity-like) despite talking about ‘brand value’ and the importance of effectiveness & intangible value. Effectiveness, or value, became the sacred haven of the few who could articulate the art & the intangible of business.

Art is making a comeback mostly because people, employees, feel there has to be something more than what exists. Recent studies show something like 87% of employees are disengaged. I would argue that is a reflection of emphasis on efficiency & lack of emphasis on effectiveness (and the vision which tends to encourage intangible investment in a business life>. This art aspect is not just a battle between ROI versus meaning but also between those who have created their success from the ‘science’ and those who believe there must be something better.

The problem is Science has a head start. This science aspect was elevated in late 1910, when Louis Brandeis, a fifty-three-year-old lawyer from Boston, held a meeting at an apartment in New York with a bunch of experts who, at Brandeis’s urging, decided to call what they were experts at “scientific management” (one of the attendees suggested calling it “efficiency”). Management typically revolves around 2 names, Gilbreth who favored worker input & Taylor who thought men were “mules”. Yet, it was Brandeis who advocated industrial democracy, i.e., workers must have a voice in how a business is run. Brandeis insisted that, if workers were to enjoy sufficient leisure to participate in a democratic society, productivity had to be increased but within limits of individual capacity.

This is where we bring in psychologist Abraham Maslow who explored the idea of human motivation. Through his research in 1943, he identified primary needs people must satisfy before moving forward. This became known as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a five-level pyramid (not developed by him but a good illustration of the pattern of motivation). To get from one level to the next, one has to master the basics first. Productivity can work in much the same way, according to Tamara Myles, a Certified Professional Organizer (CPO) and author of The Secret to Peak Productivity (AMACOM, February 2014). Inspired by Maslow’s work, Myles created the Peak Productivity Pyramid—an approach to a more productive life.

“[The system makes it] so easy to see the entire roadmap, to identify where you are and where you are headed,” Myles says. “It is, after all, much easier to get where you are going if you have directions, if you have a map.”

All that said. I began with a Brandeis quote to make a point. The point is once business gets on a slippery slope gravity has a nasty habit of taking over. In this case Brandeis had a solid idea from which people inevitably gravitated toward the simplistic, easiest & most tangible aspect of it and then pounded that aspect into its most meaningless definition.

That’s what we do.

Maslow was right in that people desire more than simply being productive. They desire what I call substantive productivity and others call joy of task, meaning & Purpose. But that’s difficult to quantify in the short term, only the long term.

It’s kind of like quantifying brand value. Brand value is a complex idea in which many moving parts, difficult to quantify in isolation, coalesce into a greater value at some indeterminate place & time in the future. It “just is” which is not one of the most comforting things to say in business. Imagine that conversation when it comes to productivity. A bunch of business people would faint.

Regardless. Two things are happening today.

Proof of substantive productivity (or an engaged organization focused on effective work not efficient work) is increasing. Businesses will balk (the infamous: good for them but it will not work in my business) but proof is growing and businesses will have to choose between status quo and transformation at their own peril.

People are desiring ‘more’ than status quo. And the more, this time, is not money. Efficiency drove employees to say “if I do this, pay me more $” and inevitably they got more money, but not more fulfillment. Having pursued that $ path they are now open to a ‘what could fulfill me’ path.

This means what was old is new again. The business world is revisiting Brandies concept with fresh eyes. It’s quite possible we had to walk the efficiency road in order to know it would not reach the destination we desired but, regardless, effectiveness is having its day. It will not just happen and those of us who are good, or relatively good, at articulating the benefits of the intangible need to bring our A game.

Well. As a self-proclaimed renovator & fixer of businesses, I make no apologies for how I choose to repair what someone else breaks.

Fixing is not a popularity contest.

Shit.

Fixing is not a contest.

When something in business is broken, and by ‘broken’ I mean either not working or not working as well as it should, worrying about what other people think or their feelings kind of takes a back seat to fixing it.

That may sound cold.

That may sound harsh.

But anything less than that infringes upon seeking the best solution.

This does not mean you ignore the fact that people will inevitably dictate the success, or failure, of the solution.

This does not mean you ignore the fact that people, in general, are involved.

All it means is that good business solutions that truly ‘repair’ translates into replacing parts, possibly taking apart and rebuilding and maybe even throwing away old worn out pieces. Shit. You may even throw away some new shiny pieces that just do not belong.

All that it means is if you want to fix something you need to go in with the intent to fix … and nothing less than that.

I make no apologies for that attitude.

And I fix shit.

Regardless of any attitude issues fixing takes on, here is the good news for business fixers and renovators, well, okay, at least the self-aware ones.

I have found that most ‘repairs’ are more like ‘market corrections.’ What I mean by that is a market, a government, a cultural ‘thing’ and, yes, a business, can often take on the characteristics of a pendulum. Something that started out as good and well-intended gains momentum and no one knows how to stop it or , more likely, when things start going good everyone jumps on board like barnacles on a ship. In fact, that is the point I think most people miss. Most significant things that need to be repaired in a business are reflections of groups of people all working together.

And that is a good thing, right?

Many repairers overlook that <I do not>.

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“We’re all working together; that’s the secret.”

Sam Walton

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I clearly understand that fixing is not a popularity contest.

I clearly understand that fixing, when done well, is painful.

But I clearly understand that most ‘brokens’ are a reflection of people working together with an intent that 99% of was good at its onset and , still working together, are more likely just plodding down a road in which they missed a turn maybe 5 miles back <everyone should note that ‘fixing’ does not mean pointing everyone backwards to the turn they missed … but rather accepting the turn was missed>.

And maybe that is why no one worth their shit in the fixing business should never apologize. Because all you are most likely doing in your assholedness renovation stuff … is encouraging people to work together and be the best they can be working together. And people like working together. And people like creating success together.

That’s a good thing, right?

Anyway. Sure.

Let me end by saying that no matter what you do everyone … yeah … everyone … will eventually have to apologize to someone for something. And as a fixer the burden is upon you <and not them> to insure you have the right words and articulate them well to tactfully address what happened and happens.

I am not going to explain what a good apology is made up of and how it is done because I think ‘formulas for how to do things which are supposed to come from the heart” is really stupid.

Just see it, own it and say it. That is my only formula.

Look. A ‘no apology approach’ to repairing businesses doesn’t mean accepting that being an asshole is part of the job … it just means you recognize your role, accept the goods & bads and take responsibility for it.

All with no “ifs, ands or buts.”

All that said. Repairing what someone else broke demands you think the same <so you can understand why> and, yet, think differently <so you can see the repair> than everyone else.

I end there because if that is true, and I believe it is in my heart of hearts, well, someone is gonna feel like they deserve an apology at some point. That is a given. I accept that upfront and move on.