Paul, Bethany [my daughter] and I were in a town hall one evening, when one of the mediums there for a psychic event pointed me out and said that another baby was coming along. "No chance," I thought. "I'm breastfeeding on cue." Natural fertility and all that, I thought smugly...

Breastfeeding is a great natural contraception for many women (not all) when you exclusively breastfeed with no more than 4 hours in between any nursing sessions. If there is a longer gap - 6 hours for example - even on occasion, or your menstrual cycle has returned, than ovulation is likely taking place, and breastfeeding is not an effective contraception.

Interestingly, in a lot of cultures where the claim for 'breastfeeding as a contraceptive' is derived, couples tend not to have sex in the first two years after their baby's birth because they value the breastfeeding relationship so highly. This paints a rather different picture to 'exclusive' breastfeeding being a natural contraceptive. These cultures hold the breastfeeding relationship sacred, and abstain from sex, so as to not interfere with either the first baby's nursing (milk supply, composition and taste all change - or disappear altogether - when pregnant).

Interestingly, tandem nursing in indigenous cultures is also rare, because abstinence naturally leads to a greater age gap between children. Most modern western women tend to have sex soon after giving birth, do not feed on cue, and are well nourished - so they can easily become pregnant again, as well as nurse through pregnancy and sustain two or more children at the breast.

Bethany had been eating a few different fruits, so was no longer exclusively breastfed at 15 months. I had one menstrual cycle, then *bingo*.

It was once Eliza had made herself known, that a friend urged me to contact La Leche League, the international breastfeeding support group, promising me I'd find like-minded people there. I thought I'd give it a go. It was life-changing in so many ways.

I soon learned there was no need to wean Bethany, and as long as we were both happy to continue the breastfeeding relationship, she could suckle right through pregnancy.

Funny what you learn from other people along the way though. "Isn't it poisonous for her to receive your breast milk when you're pregnant?" was just one of the many questions I fielded. Where on earth would anyone get an idea like that?

Bethany suckled away throughout my pregnancy. Near the end of gestation, however, my milk dried up, and I found her suckling excruciating. She didn't seem at all bothered by the lack of milk, though of course it is possible that she was extracting something, and I just didn't have the same ability when squeezing it out myself. Paul was invaluable at keeping her amused so I could get plenty of rest and relaxation.

The drying up of milk in pregnancy is very common. So common, that if baby is not old enough (usually around 18 months of age) early weaning may be the result. Not my Bethany. Perhaps she knew what liquid gold was in store for her.

I believe the number one reason for a child weaning early during the first few years of life, or in pregnancy, is because she energetically picks up her mother's discomfort and resentment at sustained breastfeeding. There's a lot of pressure on the child, from other people, to wean. In a place 'beyond' words, the child is hearing that breastfeeding is no longer acceptable.

One of my favorite images is of Bethany breastfeeding while I labored in the birthing pool. It looked like we were both having a bit of fun in the spa! Bethany was 22 months old. In retrospect, she was such a little girl, and it must have really knocked her world upside down to have a baby come along then. Bethany's toddlerhood benefited enormously from the continuation of our breastfeeding relationship.

Eliza's birth was not the idyllic waterbirth at home that we'd planned. Instead, I was told it was illegal to have a home-birth in New Zealand if you're more than ten days past your due date. Ironically, it wasn't until Eliza's fourth birthday that I found out that this is untrue, and a midwife's own policy can be over-ridden. Any policy can be overridden by a parent signing a disclaimer - taking responsibility, in writing, and accepting the outcome. Take back your power and do what you feel is right, rather than what you're told you 'should be doing'.

We went into hospital against my better judgment; my waters were artificially ruptured. Hindsight has a reputation for being a wonderful thing! As soon as you interfere with birth you're asking for problems. Birth doesn't like to be told what to do. My baby wasn't ready, and I knew it. I should have stuck to my guns, and refused consent. But I didn't.

Eliza presented with shoulder dystocia. (Her shoulder got stuck coming out of the birth canal). All ten pounds and four ounces of her were put in my arms. She was blue. We ended up in NICU for a variety of reasons, which, looking back, was unnecessary; and a lot of it was to do with unacceptable mistakes made by the 'experts' at the resuscitation table. The next few days were a steep learning curve, as we endured the world of plastic cribs, and staff that seemed hell-bent on giving every baby in sight fake milk, despite having 'Breastfeeding Friendly' posters over all the walls.

Although many women have fed a toddler over their large belly while growing a new baby, a lot don't continue breastfeeding when finding themselves pregnant again, because, aside from books at La Leche League and other breastfeeding support groups, there's very little information available.

We don't tend to see breastfeeding in pregnancy, for the simple reason that many women who are still breastfeeding after infancy, sometimes stop breastfeeding in public.

What does the toddler gain from breastfeeding in pregnancy? This seems to be top of the question list. As soon as most people see a kid walking, or wearing shoes, or worse, talking, they can't reconcile that with breastfeeding. A toddler has every bit as much to gain from breastfeeding as an infant. Physically, they receive an immunological boost from every breastfeed. They continue to develop their jaw and facial muscles in a way that doesn't happen with bottle-feeding. Weaning before the age of two increases the risk of illness (1-7). Breastfeeding helps a toddler adjust to life with a new sibling, by them being included in the breastfeeding process.

There is no scientific evidence whatsoever to suggest that breastfeeding in pregnancy causes harm to mother or baby. Some people are concerned that the nipple stimulation of breastfeeding in pregnancy might lead to contractions. There is again, absolutely no evidence, scientific or anecdotal, to suggest labor being brought on early by this. As you're eating nutritious foods and resting well, there's absolutely no reason why you can't breastfeed, grow a baby and nurture your own body.

If you're concerned about anemia, please avoid resorting to a doctor's prescription for iron tablets. Apart from not being natural, they'll make you constipated, which is the last thing you need. Try dried apricots, or have a spoon of organic, unsulphured blackstrap molasses each day. Either off the spoon or blended with rice milk and a banana.

How commonly we accept toddlers being pacified by blankies, dummies and plastic bottles, yet the situation where a child has these needs met naturally through full-term breastfeeding leads to cultural disgust.

The most obvious and natural place to gain nutrition and nurturing is at our mother's breast. Children don't forfeit their independence because they weaned naturally - far from it. Knowing their relationship with mother is secure, gives them a firm footing in the world. It's often quoted that breastfed children have a higher IQ than their artificially-fed peers. There's a good reason for this, which I've elaborated on in my book chapter, "Who's the Dummy?"

Emotional intelligence is more important, in many ways, than intellectual strength. Our children receive many gifts from being breastfed; and certainly with more long term breastfeeding, we see that children have a higher self-esteem, and a sense of being accepted and valued. In our arms they learn intimacy, the most valuable gift for relationships. We provide them with warmth and comfort.

I HAVE to translate this post into Spanish.. and quote you.. if that's ok with you. There's so many people I know (including my own mother) who when I tell them I'm still breastfeeding my 1year old, become real quite and then say as if it were sin,.."you know that's not good for her..." as if ..how dare you breastfeed this child! It's all ignorance! Anyways, thanks for your post.. it's great!

My son was 9 months old when I got pregnant. My milk lasted about 6 weeks and it was gone. Gone gone. I was so disappointed that I didn't get to a year (my own goal). But he weaned so easily and has grown and adapted beautifully. Baby #2 nursed for a year and then some.

Second story- when my first was about 12 hours old, a nurse in the nursery gave him an ounce or 2 of formula. When I FREAKED OUT, she said, "relax mommy, he's a big boy, he was starving." I felt so guilty until the lactation consultant (and countless other people since then) told me he was definitely not starving, as my colostrum was already in and he'd already been at my breast several times. Ugh. I must say the rest of my hospital birth was great.

I have to disagree about breastfeeding working as a contraceptive because in those cultures people are abstinent while nursing.

There are some studies done in "developed countries" which show that it is effective -as effective as the birth control pill. But like every method including condoms and the pill it only works if you follow the rules/instructions for that method. The rules for lactational amenorrhea method are pretty simple: no artificial nipples, no other food for baby (including tea), breastfeed on demand; and so important that its even in the name NO MENSTRUATING (amenorrhea).

There are a few cultures in which prolonged abstinence for both mother and father are normal. There are sadly more where the mother is abstinent and the father is not and doesn't use condoms. But in general, it seems most humans just can't pull off prolonged abstinence.

Ecological breastfeeding has more rules, and works better and for most women works longer (most babies start solids around 6-9 months which obviously breaks the "no other foods" rule).

I know plenty of women that have prolonged periods of infertility because of nursing. Sadly I'm not one of them, even when tandem nursing and tandem-co-sleeping I am fully fertile before 6 months but I'm just lucky like that.

My mother also got to be the "lucky" one for whom tubal ligation was done improperly (it was too soon for it to be considered a spontaneous reversal) and her husband was lucky enough to have to get a vasectomy twice even though he only has one testicle. Some people are "lucky".

But I guess at least if I am blessed with fertility sooner than I'd like I'm also blessed with being able to make plenty of milk during pregnancy.

Great article! I breastfed my toddler all through my pregnancy, I didn't have much milk by the end but she didn't care! I did have to field all the inevitable questions, like "how will you feed both of them?" Duh, I have 2 breasts!

Then DD2 came along (at 41wks, so obviously no early labour there)and it got even better. I was so excited to show DD1 when my milk came in and she was a godsend in those early days of engorgement. She was visibly healthier, happy & even started 'porking up' a bit!

I'm so happy to have kept up our breastfeeding relationship, I know it has played a huge part in her accepting her sister & adjusting so happily. She is still going strong at 2.5yrs.

Great post. I plan to continue breast feeding my 16 month old if we are fortunate enough to get pregnant before he self weans. I'd love to see a post about extended breast feeding, a lot of people think they are supposed to stop at one year, or six months even. I find it extremely odd that I am in the minority and frowned upon for something that is beneficial to my son's health as well as both of our mental well being.

My practice in loving kindness (keeping my mouth shut with compassion): I was sitting down tandem nursing at the Farmer's Market and another (mainstream) mom I know casually stopped. We exchanged greetings and then she said, "Aren't you pregnant?" "Yes," I answered. She continued, "My doctor told me to wean my daughter when I became pregnant because it was bad for the new baby and unhealthy for my daughter." "Ah, I've read other material on this," I answered. She wished me luck & continued on her way.

I'm on my 2nd trimester and have nursed my 2yo until a few weeks ago when I felt really dried up and suckling has become really painful. My poor baby is very considerate and she misses the bonding a lot. I look forward to having milk supply restored and will share to both kids as much as I can

Fabulous post! I was something of an anomaly after giving birth to my third son ... my doula, my lactation consultant, and her student, all crowded around my room. Why? Because I not only was nursing my newborn but also my two older toddlers. I got pregnant within 5 months of having my first child. I was exclusively breastfeeding, every 90 minutes, around the clock, no artificial nipples ... surprise! My milk supply held steady through pregnancy (even made enough to donate to a friend), and when my second was born, I tandem nursed. Then, when my second was a year old -- still tandem nursing -- I became pregnant again. Milk supply again held steady, and when my third was born, well, it just came naturally. My oldest wasn't even three yet.

However, tandem nursing three children was a bit much even for me. I encouraged my oldest to wean shortly after his third birthday. After tandem nursing for three years, I encouraged my second son to wean just after three years old as well. I nursed my youngest until he was about three and a half.

Nursing through pregnancy can be hard. It can be painful. It can be exhausting. But it can also be very rewarding. I saw sibling relationships develop very closely through the nursing bond, and I watched my sons touch each other's heads and faces while nursing. We had some really beautiful moments, and I am so thankful I was able to do it.

I am 8 moths pregnant with my 2nd son. My son Evan was 20 months when I got pregnant. He has nursed through this pregnancy though my milk mostly went away after about the 3rd month. I expected he would self wean then but I believe just the suckling and closeness are something he needs. I am curious to see what happens as my milk comes in for baby 2. Honestly the nursing is such a help to get him settled to sleep when sleep is precious in this last trimester. Most people I know believe I weaned him. I see no reason to explain otherwise and listen to their commentary.I love breastfeeding.

"staff that seemed hell-bent on giving every baby in sight fake milk, despite having 'Breastfeeding Friendly' posters over all thewalls."

THIS! I had this. It shocked me. I was allowed to feed my kid at 9am, 12pm, 3, 6, 9 and 12am. From middnight the doors were shut and I wasn't allowed to breastfeed. They even tried to get me to take pills to dry up my milk, without telling me what they were, simply because my child was "starving" and "sick" and "formula is the best thing for sick babies". I was completely shocked. It was disgusting. Even when I went to breastfeed each of these times, I was told I had to feed my newborn a lump of formula too. She often refused. I was made to feel completely evil and like I was a bad parent. It was horrific...but... despite all the efforts of the medical "professionals" to end my breastfeeding I am still doing so at 28 months :) and plan to breastfeed during pregnancy and tandem if my little girl wishes to go that long.

I had formula pushed on me too. I was just thinking today about the medical community that is supposed to have all the great health answers and that we're supposed to just blindly follow, and realizing that the only time my two sons had a bottle or formula was when it was forced on them for no reason after their deliveries in the hospital. Thankfully, I followed my own instincts and I realized that doctors are not "all-knowing". I completely avoided them this time and delivered my daughter at home with a wonderful midwife. No one to push formula on us there! She nursed at just minutes old and is going great today at 4 mos. I nursed my first son throughout the pregnancy of my second. It was wonderful and very beneficial for him.

I have never stopped breastfeeding since 2005. My 3rd girl is 2 months now. My first, I asked her to stop a month before she turned 4 coz it was hurting as I was pregnant with the 3rd and the 2nd one was and is still breastfeeding. I always tell my friends to breastfeed coz when a child is sick, it's d only thing that they will take.

Same here. my little one was admitted into the NICU for "observation" and the night shift put a feeding tube in his nose because he wouldn't eat accordingly. i INFORMED THEM THAT HE WAS (AND STILL IS) a great eater and I fed on demand. They said, like you really are going to breast feed all day" umm yeah whenever he wants. He was the biggest baby and only in there for observation. Ugg-they are not breast friendly. Hell bent on formula and less of your presence seemed to be wanted most. SAD state of affairs. This was University of South ALABAMA children's and women's.

I really appreciate this educated and beautiful take on things especially as someone literally just said that I was a "child molester" for continuing to nurse my 17 month old (I am also pregnant with our next one). That was deeply hurtful, this was deeply helpful.

Thanks for the article! I am still BFing my 3yrold and my 18Mold. I got pregnant when DD1 was 11m and I never had a period. Now with DD2 at 18M we are still not pregnant but my period has returned.

Even after having a tumor removed from my breast when DD2 was 12M and drying up post surgery due to anesthesia I built my supply back up to continue to nurse. We will stop BFing when the girls are ready.

Dear Annonymous, I am appalled that you had to endure a comment like that! People have no right to throw their insecurities at innocent people. You are a wonderful mama for breastfeeding your 17-month old, and I wish you many, MANY more months of nursing and tandem nursing. You ARE supported.

I am nursing my 2yr old son on demand. He will be able to self wean when he feels ready as did my 2nd child (sadly Drs told me to stop nursing my ES when i was pregnant with no2 as it would cause another premmie-LIES). I am 21wks pregnant with no4 and my 2yr old has been amazing, we had a blip and i thought supply was going but we got it back and i am so PROUD to be nursing, and i do it public as my childs needs come first, if he needs me he gets me.Human milk for human babies-regardless of age!

I have nursed through three pregnancies, and tandemed/triandemed for more than four and a half years. I believe that this has been a blessing for our family--breastfeeding has helped my children physically be healthier and get sick less often; it has helped them emotionally to have greater security and an amazing closeness with each other, and it has helped me as a mom to see them as the babies they really are and to be more patient.

very good post - Thank you! I am breastfeeding my 4th child in 8 years. She is currently 15 months old and I haven't even begun to think of when this relationship will end. Each of my previous babies nursed right up until the last few months of gestation of their next sibling, which meant that each nursed most of their 2nd year of life and then some. We are a completely "on the go" family, with lots of travel and social outings and school functions on a daily basis. My babies have nursed at all ages in just about any public place you could think of. I feel like by nursing in public, especially in the toddler years and while pregnant, you are sharing your wisdom and SELF ACCEPTANCE with the broader world. This simple act helps pave the way for the next mom to make her choice to nurse in public, nurse while pregnant, and/or nurse a toddler with greater confidence and self awareness.

I completely support a woman's right (and baby's right) to determine the best time to wean. Each family is different and has different challenges, priorities, and resources when it comes to this important subject. Having nursed 3 babies while pregnant with the next babe. I found nothing "odd" about it, rather, I found it to be the most natural and PERFECT transition for all parties involved. Nurse on, mommas! Do what you know is right for you and your baby.

I am a nursing student, who tandem nursed my son and daughter for a year until the oldest was 3. I have heard some pretty harsh things from fellow students about extended breastfeeding, but I hold my ground.

I do have to say, the hospital I am doing my OB clinical at is wonderfully supportive of breastfeeding. The only time I have seen any nurse come at a breastfed baby with a bottle was when the baby was severely hypoglycemic and she gave him a little bit of glucose. Otherwise, they encourage breastfeeding within 30 minutes of birth, and bring the baby to the mom every 3 hours or when the baby acts hungry.

Don't let that get to you. I nursed my son until he was over 5 and my daughter is still nursing at 4.5. I tamdem them for almost 2 years.Have you read this article?http://www.drmomma.org/2009/07/breastfeeding-in-land-of-genghis-khan.htmlIn other cultures long term bresatfeeding, way past toddlerhood, is not only accepted but celebrated!

My hospital stay was actually quite fantastic. I had a midwife but was still "mainstream" concerned about if something were to happen. Anyway, the hospital I was at had water birth rooms and no nursery. That's right, NO NURSERY. They insisted on having the baby stay in the room with you so you could bond. They were SO helpful with breastfeeding, too. Actually, one of the nurses actually introduced me to bed sharing so that I could sleep. I thank God that I went to that hospital and not to some other, horrible one.

On the note of breastfeeding, I wish I had done it for longer. But, being a new mother in a time of pacifiers and solids, I lost my grip. I gave her a sucky and introduced solids when my doctor told me to, at three months. My daughter self-weaned at 7 months and I regret it everyday. I'm pregnant with number 2 and I will be trying to exclusively breastfeed until one year this time around!

"someone literally just said that I was a "child molester" for continuing to nurse my 17 month old"

That sickens, infuriates, and saddens me all at the same time. To be called a child molester for breastfeeding your BABY who's not even 2 yet... The person who made that comment is obviously completely ignorant on the topic. *hugs*

I am so sorry that anyone could think that you are a "child molester" for nursing your baby. Know that you are doing one of the greatest things you can for his physical and more importantly emotional health. I am currently nursing my little guy who is almost 2 and see no end in sight at the moment. You are an awesome mom and I know it is hard to ignore comments like that especially when they may come from someone you love but you are doing the best for your baby and that is the only thing that matters at the end of the day. I suggest keeping some copies of articles like this handy for the next person who makes such an ignorant comment.

Awww Anon!!!! That is SO horrifically SAD!!!! That is THEIR problem... they are sick minded... You are doing the right thing mama!!! I know you know you are!! And kudos to you!! I too am pregnant and nursing!!! What a BEAUTIFUL thing!!!! Good job mama... ignore those nay sayers and that SICKO!!!

Mystic eye, I am also a very VERY lucky mama! I have BF all of my babes w/ no other outside influeunces (paci, bottles, food, anything!) and I ovulate 6-8 weeks PP! Seriously. Each time. I am currently pregnant w/ number 6 and my oldest is 8yrs old. :) So no, it doesn't work for everyone..but it does work for many, many mamas for a few months at least. I'd give anything for it to work for me for at least 6! That would be awesome! Just not how my body is and I'm very fertile, thankfully. I love to hear my friends say they didn't have a period for 2 years! Or 8 months or 15 months, etc. So it can work for you but realize that like all BC it won't work for everyone. I have been told by MWs and OBs, etc that I'm a freak of nature! lol I expect to get AF back around the same time. Babe will be here any day now! :)

Wonderful post! I'm still nursing my 3 year old :) I have had two negative comments about nursing my DS. One of them was a doctor and the other comment was at a nurse in. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Just know that you are doing the best thing for you child!

wonderful post! thank you!!! my first child nursed past her 2nd birthday and during my first trimester with her sister. it was only when her nursing became very painful for me that i cut down one feeding. she weaned herself after that. i love seeing moms nursing their "older" toddlers!!! let's give them all the support we can!!!

Hi Moms, thanks for all the support. I am the mama who posted about someone stating that prolonged breastfeeding was "child molestation" I thought I should clarify that it was said online (I have found that people can be far bolder and more vicious online than they would be in public...)And that it was a stranger to me. I was still reeling a little from the shock of such a thing ( I mean really, to even think that, but then to SAY it?? To someone you don't even know??) when I came accross this page and it is just wonderful to know how many mothers out there do chose this with their babies/children. Anyway, I know only that either a very uneducated, or a very hurting or even perhaps sick mind could say that, so I let it go and know that I am glad there are so many people and mothers out there who ARE educated on the subject and who, being able to, chose to do this healthy and beautiful thing for their kids.

Thank-you for this post :) I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant, with a 22 month old nursling. I don't know anybody who did this in real life, so it's nice to see others who feel as strongly as I do about it. I'm certainly looking forward to nursing while not pregnant anymore but it has been a wonderful thing to continue nursing my first baby while growing my second baby. I can't wait to tandem nurse my babies together for the first time.

I too breastfed through my pregnancy although my daughter was 18 months old and it was only one period before I conceived. I had a hard time conceiving my first. So I jumped on the bandwagon. I did wean her about the six month in but then let her go back because the doctors wanted to induce me and I did not want that. I will never forget the look on her face as she looked up at me from the breast and said , "Are you sure? " with her sweet 28 month old eyes. She was the sweetest thing and we continued to nurse and I knew where she was in the house as we shared that wonderful bond with her sister. Loved those moments. They are now way too old to nurse because they are 18 and twenty. I was well informed as I became an LLL leader and always joked they would wean by high school.

When I had my daughter I put a card in her basinet that said "No pacifiers or Bottles" And "Breastmilk Only" you think they listened? Nope. They would come snatch her away every time I slept at all, give her formula and bring her back with a binkie. All the formula caused her to suck very lazily at the breast, making my milk come in much slower. The night we got her home, she was SO hungry, and due to my lack of milk we had to give her one last bottle of formula. The next day my milk came in and she was a great nurser :D She is nearly 2 now.

Brittani - that is awful! That a hospital staff would not even LISTEN to a mother's own wishes? And to do such things while you slept? What is wrong with this country? No wonder we so often mess up our babies. :/ So sorry you had to battle this when you should have been treated with respect and support from the beginning.