Alexa von Tobel wants you to take control of your finances — and then tell your friends.

In today’s Smart section, I interviewed von Tobel, founder and CEO of LearnVest.com, about the value of talking about money. In her new book, “Financially Fearless,” von Tobel encourages readers to start money clubs — and promises if they get at least 10 people to join, a LearnVest expert will video conference in to lead the first discussion.

“If you’re trying to diet, what do you do? You grab your two friends and say, ‘We’re going to the gym, let’s do this together.’ Money shouldn’t be any different,” von Tobel said during our interview. “If you’re trying to make progress, if you’re trying to save more, we really need to be able to get support.”

The following is excerpted from the chapter called “The Past: Where You’ve Been.”

Do you innately believe money is good or evil? To answer this question, we have to look at what’s lying below the surface. What’s your gut telling you? Do you think money is the way to happiness, or the root of all trouble? Do you secretly believe money is your birthright, or do you silently worry you don’t deserve it? Do you like thinking about it, or does it make you anxious?

A ground breaking study identified four core money beliefs, established at childhood, that drive our financial behavior and habits. The study explained that these subconscious beliefs, often shaped by our parents and early childhood memories, become the lens through which we approach our finances throughout our adult lives.

So let’s get to the bottom of your money foundation. It can be a little tough to open up about this, but remember, we’re in this together! Throughout this section I’ll share some of my own money psychology with you.

Your First Money Memory
According to Klontz, our earliest money memories will shape our feelings about money and determine how comfortable or uncomfortable we are dealing with our finances as adults. Think back to yours. Maybe it was finding a few coins in the couch and hiding them from your siblings, your grandmother slipping you a twenty, or your parents asking you to order the cheapest thing on the menu.

A recent article in the American Journal of Family Therapy explains that “money is used to control children. punish estranged spouses. measure a person’s true feelings, buy freedom from relationships, or stop a partner from leaving…. We invented money and we use it, yet we cannot either understand its laws or control its actions. It has a life of its own which it properly should not have.

Your Parents’ Attitudes About Money
When you were growing up, your parents were your direct—and often only—source of information about money. So it’s only natural that their attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs would in some way rub off.

We can’t pick our families, but we do have control over how our families and our upbringings affect our grown-up lives. And we can choose to emphasize the good that we got from our families rather than the not-so-good. In my case, entrepreneurship is one of the best things that runs in my family, and I have embraced it.

How did your family handle money when you were a child? How did family members talk to you and one another about money? Or was money ignored? I’ve heard it all before: from the stepdad with a gambling addiction to the mom telling her daughter to keep recently purchased clothes a secret from her dad to the father who sat his young child down with the Wall Street Journal to review investments.

Did your parents talk to you frequently about money? Did they give you an allowance and explain the benefits of saving?

Now that we’ve taken the time to think through how your parents acted around money, let’s look at how these messages shaped your beliefs and attitudes. Based on your upbringing, are you positively or negatively oriented toward money? Do you fundamentally believe money is good or evil? Are you scared of it? Obsessed with it? Angry at it?