Beard Charities Are Too Big To Fail

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Facial hair is everywhere. It's on Clooney and Radcliffe. It's saving skin in the Australian Outback. And now it's also in the Wall Street Journal — because there are two warring beard-growing philanthropies here in these United States. There's the American Mustache Institute, a smaller organization with no paid staff, and the Movember Foundation, a multi-hundred-million-dollar international NGO. The separation, for those privy to the workings of beard charities, is obvious: The former advocates for year-round mustaches; the latter favors an annual monthlong money-raising event.

The two groups previously had amicable ties, as is common between bewhiskered philanthropists. AMI even helped Movember make the voyage from Australia to the States in 2007. But that changed when the AMI's co-founder Aaron Perlut asked Movember to support its campaign called the 'Stache Act, which would (jokingly) propose a $250 federal subsidy for the mustachioed. But Movember's CEO, <>Adam Garone, declined, saying it was "inappropriate" to be asked such a thing, since his organization also worked to raise charity dollars. The 'Stache Act eventually raised $10,000. But the damage was done.

Days after November ended, AMI announced in a blog post that it will not longer support Movember. It cited many reasons, including dishonesty from the top as well as arrogance from an employee named Bubba, along with the 'Stache Act. It wrote, in part:

Let's be very clear: Movember's cause is unquestionably commendable — raising awareness and funds for cancers facing men. That is why we waited until the end of this year's campaign to make this announcement, and only did so because many Americans have asked us over the past month to help them promote their varying Movember events.

However, the organization's culture and manner in which it treats those that support it is often arrogant and rather shameful...

Organizations are defined by their leaders, and we hope that Movember and its CEO recognize they do not exist in a bubble. No one wins unless we all win.

In the Journal, a man nicknamed "El Beardo," the co-founder of Build-A-Beard, chimed in by adding, in reference to Movember, "The unfortunate byproduct of getting too big is people take themselves too seriously and lose their authenticity."

As much as part of us would like to re-imagine this as the intersection of the Five Points in Gangs of New York, beards are far too big to fail. Especially for charity giving. And so we are willing to negotiate the terms of a bearded armistice. Look: the American Mustache Institute is no hirsute heathen for asking for charitable support; and Movember is likewise no stubbly swine for saying no. The men invoking the tenets of a fraternal community must themselves abide by them. And the big must always help out the small — especially the ones who they sought help from.

So trim up and shake hands, gentlemen. There is hair to grow, and there are people to help.