Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I talked about this some on twitter but thought I would expand upon it here. Last year, around the 4th of July, I was in full blown suppression mode. Essentially girl-stuck-in-guy-mode-forever and it was so completely depressing and painful. When it came to the 4th, me and my now ex-wife, attended a party/BBQ put on my the bible study group we attended weekly. I vividly remember it being a hot, sunny day and some of the women there wore pretty sun dresses and heels and every moment seeing them was a moment of utter agony for me. And yet I had to hide behind a plastic smile.

Now 1 year later, you'd find me in proper attire: red sundress, white shrug, blue earrings and nails. We hung out at my boyfriend's dad's house for a mix of the 4th of July and my boyfriend's birthday which is on the 5th but we celebrated it on the 4th. We had a BBQ and I helped Hank's sister prepare a few things. We ate, chatted, watched a couple movies while we waited for it to get dark, sang happy birthday to Hank (which I did in my best soprano lol), watched him open presents, and then filed outside to get ready for fireworks.

We all grabbed a lawn chair and headed out to the street. I brought white leggings and a blue hoodie because I figured it would be cold by then but even with those on, once I got outside, I began shivering. Then Hank's sister came out with 2 blankets she said were "for the ladies" (me and her) and that was much better. I was able to just sit there and enjoy watching Hank, his Dad, his sister's boyfriend, and a friend of the family set off the fireworks they had purchased. His sister and I laughed about "boys and their toys" as we watched and the boys eventually let her and I shoot off a roman candle each too, which was fun.

It just felt so right being treated like a lady, it's really hard to describe. There was just a feeling of it feeling 'right' the whole night. The littlest things sometimes matter most.