Corrections & Clarifications: An earlier version of this story had an incorrect year for the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. It was in 2018.

Kids know when something is wrong:

• Daddy comforting Mom with a hug.

• Mom wiping away tears and staring at the TV screen.

• Parents reluctant to drop off the kids at school because they fear the worst – say, a deadly school shooting, like the one Tuesday where one died and eight others were hurt at a suburban Denver STEM school.

How can parents best handle talking with their children about gun-related, or any other, violence?

Parents comfort each other at the scene of a shooting at the STEM School Highlands Ranch.(Photo: Tom Cooper, Getty Images)

Never lie to your children. Ever.

"If it's a teen, you're going to talk to them in a different way than you'd talk to 6-year-old. Talk to them at an age-appropriate level," she said. "That's very important. And it's all about honesty. Think always: honesty."

Scary stuff will always be happening, but you can reinforce what they need to do to stay safe. If something happens while they're in school, they should follow directions from adults in charge.

And at home, grieve and heal in personal ways that families can share.

"If you believe in prayer, pray for safety, for peace, whatever it is you and your family do," Sherman said. "And really talk about what's going on, about the world, about their fears. They're real."

Encourage children to report possible danger.

While children naturally don't want or are afraid to tattle on others, Sherman said they need to know it's OK to report odd or unsettling things they see or hear. Whether it's about a friend threatening self-harm, disturbing images of guns and knives, or violence on social media, assure young people they're doing right by speaking out.

"Let them know: They can save somebody's life, a lot of lives. Let them know that if they see something, they can let the parent take over," she said. "The parents can call the school, the authorities, somebody who can help."

Spend family time together in troubled times.

"When something like this happens, I remind everyone to do things as a family. Spend time together, as much as you can," Sherman said. "It's hard, but it's true: You really never know when anything can happen. Make the most of that time together,"

Be kind.

It sounds simple, but teaching kindness in a scary world is important.

"Talk to your children about love. Talk to them about being kind to each other," she said.

Police and school administrators load students onto school buses following a shooting at STEM School Highlands Ranch, a charter middle school in the Denver suburb of Highlands Ranch, Colo. Trevor Hughes, USA TODAY