It might have been a gimme that we'd be hearing Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much" during her appearance as a guest judge on "American Idol."

If only she'd serenaded some especially sad sack auditioner with her hit, it would have been enough to make "Idol" fans forget all about last week's "Pants on the Ground."

But while that was too much to hope for, no one could have predicted her ode to overrated, self-inflated lovers it would be so spot-on for "Idol's" Chicago auditions, where a mere 13 out of 12,000 hopefuls rated a golden ticket to Hollywood.

Not much to be impressed with, indeed.

Viewers were only treated to an hour of country-pop crossover Twain's pronouncements on Chicago's mostly talentless hordes, but she succeeded in making as much of an impression as Posh Spice Victoria Beckham and Mary J. Blige did in their two-hour premiere week shows last week.

And while Twain was more generous than her hit song would have suggested, she still came across as a direct, no-nonsense assessor of singing chops.

Always looking alert and attentive, she often sat forward in her chair, elbows propped up on the table and chin resting in her hands, and she was given to open expressions of surprise - shaded with dismay or delight - at contestants' efforts. Her signature look had her eyebrows raised, and eyes wide in happy, or more often appalled disbelief.

One thing that really made her stand out from her guest judge predecessors was her chemistry with Simon. It wasn't that they didn't have it, but her easy rapport with him is something that had been missing in Boston and Atlanta last week.

After Kara told the first contestant, Katelyn Epperly, that she wanted to see her be brighter, Simon said "It's all a little bit like the lights are off," to which Twain instantly responded, "But something's home!" It was the closest thing to repartee between the judges that we've gotten this season, and the moment of spontaneity between them was refreshing.

In the end Epperly was deemed worthy and she was sent through.

Twain and Simon looked like they clicked at other times during the proceedings, with her turning to him and laughing and touching him on the arm. But their judging styles couldn't have been more different. Twain in fact may go down as the most gracious judge in "Idol" history.

When one male singer treated the panel to an ear-splitting, unrecognizable audition song, she diplomatically said afterwards, "You have a high voice!" before Simon quipped, "Do you enjoy causing people pain?"

In the moment fans are likely to remember from Twain's stint as a guest judge, however, her politeness was undercut by her choice of words.

After his confident "I Love You More than You'll ever Know," she told the tall, handsome John Park, dark hair falling across his face, "You have a beautiful bottom end."

Of course she was referring to the lower range of his voice. But that wasn't how the other judges took it, especially when she also said he had nice lips, and then tried to correct her first remark (and end the snickering from her colleagues) by correcting herself: "You have a nice tone down there, okay?"

Which really didn't make it any better.

When Simon later told her she was going to regret that little exchange, Twain replied, "I don't regret anything."

he third night of American Idol auditions brought out guest judge Shania Twain, wearing a nice denim coat and giving off a pleasant air of sensible professionalism. For all that, Ryan Seacrest kept reminding us that golden tickets were not flying out of the audition chamber. In the end, only 13 were awarded out of 12,000 hopefuls in Chicago.
But some promising talents will be worth looking out for in Hollywood:
Charity Vance, a 16-year-old whose parents own a salon, sang the old warhorse “Summertime” with a “small voice,” noted Randy, but had “an interesting sound.” What a little blonde sparrow was she!
Angela Martin, 28, has already been chosen for Hollywood twice, but her Idol career has been torpedoed by troubles both tragic (her father’s death) and minor (a court appearance over a traffic violation). She had a great voice, and there is no reason she shouldn’t go again if the rules allow it.
John Park, a voice student, won praise from Shania for “a beautiful bottom end” — referring to his tone, not the backside of his jeans.
Keith Semple, shown only briefly, was enjoyably Kris Allen-ishy.
Inspirational story of the week: Paige Dechausse, who nearly died at 15 when an asthma attack closed her throat while she was singing, had a tough and tearful time winning approval from three judges after she oversold an old Sam Cooke classic. Simon, displaying his typical invaluable insight that pilots the Idol ship, wasn’t buying it. But Randy finally gave in and went along with Kara and Shania.
And now, send in the rejected clowns: A Tiny Tim impersonator named Brian Krause (a put-on?) … a woman billed simply as Crazy Accordian Lady … and Amy Lang, who scared the judges by falling down in a (fake) dead faint. Then she startled them by thrusting out her chest in a weird burlesque bump worthy of Showgirls. Kara dubbed it “boob-boxing.”http://tvwatch.people.com/2010/01/2...ise-in-chicago/

Not even Shania Twain could lure American Idol out of its predictable cadence. She was the guest judge on last night's (Jan. 19) audition show, and she sat through the brutal winner/loser/montage routines that have come to be the show's trademark. And because the talent was so meager, she even remarked halfway into the show, "We're trying to be too kind because they're so bad." She did get a little sexy with one contestant, John Park, when she said he had a beautiful bottom end. I think she meant that about his vocal range, but you never know. Maybe the show has just run its course. Maybe America has seen all its potential idols. And maybe Simon Cowell needs to stop winking so much, and get his ***** back on more. Otherwise, I may have to vote no on sending American Idol through.

After every episode, we assess how American Idol's guest judges have fared. Towards the end, we'll see if they did Paula Abdul's old slot justice. Or the show justice. Or Simon Cowell's soon-to-be-vacated slot justice. You get the idea.

Name: Shania Twain
Best known as: Canadian country hitmaker who says we're still the one
Audition city: Chicago

How did she judge? Did Shania take a page off Kara's playbook? And no, not necessarily because they resemble each other. Shania's fond of constructive criticism, tossing in a few technical terms (bottom end!) and being quite encouraging. She passes off as a warm, encouraging judge. If I was auditioning for Idol, I'd want her to be there, rather than a freezing Posh or an intimidating Mary.

Did she get along with the judges? I think she had fun. Remember how she begged for Randy to send Paige Dechausse to Hollywood? It's also amazing that all the other judges made a connection with her much quicker than the other two guest judges. In fact, as the episode went on I thought I saw Paula Abdul on the judging panel. Really. She also looked a lot like Paula Abdul, especially after that "bottom end" liner.

Nasty or nice? Nice, for the most part. She really does pass off as warm and fuzzy, much like... you guessed it: Paula, without the very loopy bits. It's interesting how she got the balance between authoritative and nurturing just right. She knows what she's saying, and she says it without being as snarky as Simon, or as bored as Posh.

The Paula Abdul rating: 9/10
The Simon Cowell rating: 8/10

Anything else? Simon, if you still haven't found judges for the American X Factor, please take note of the answer that was sitting right beside you during two days in Chicago. Give Cheryl Cole a break and give Shania Twain a job. Puh-leeeease. Thanks.

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NEW Shania album 'NOW' out September 29, 2017! Pre-Order it HERE!

Thus far Zap2it readers are saying of Victoria Beckham, "Middle-of-the-road. Nothing spectacular, but not bad" and of Mary J. Blige, "Terrible. She was so rude." So what about Shania?

We happen to think in terms of someone who "gets" "Idol," Shania Twain is probably one of the best guest judges they found. Whether or not you enjoy country/pop music (and we don't, really), she has an incredible voice and her music genre is right in the "Idol" wheelhouse.

So we were disappointed that A) Chicago turned out to be kind-of a bust city and B) Shania only got an hour-long episode. We barely got to see her comments, but we liked what we did see. It's not saying too much, but so far we think she's the best guest judge.

Hello Idol fanatics! We're back for the 3rd Audition city of Season 9. Sweet Home Chicago!! Maybe, I'm getting nostalgic of this being the first season without Paula and the last season with Simon (a true sign that "change is gonna come"), but I really am enjoying these crazy auditions this year. Talk to me again next week as we get into our 3rd week of this and I may be singing a different tune. But, I also am enjoying the guest judges too. And, I totally think they dropped the ball on picking up Shania Twain FULL time! She was fantastic the whole episode! And ironically, both she and Paula have been questioned on their actual vocal talent. It's perfect! No disrespect from me though, I still anxiously await her next album!

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NEW Shania album 'NOW' out September 29, 2017! Pre-Order it HERE!

American Idol Recap: Second City, Second-rate Talent
In one hour (mercifully), American Idol breezed through the Windy City, showcasing how little talent you can fit into the packed waiting room of a Chicago stadium. The main point of interest was guest judge Shania Twain, for whom I have a newfound respect. The country megastar provided thoughtful, gentle advice to the amateur singers, and, in a rarely seen move for Idol judging, demonstrated genuine knowledge of musical technique. This risky gamble paid off. By the time the string of 12,000 bright-eyed and largely useless hopefuls had taken their toll on her sanity, her overall kindness made one overlook her brief lapse into insanity at the end (see the clip below where she utters an accidental sexual innuendo then devolves into giggles while whipping Randy with her necklace).

Shania even provided some honest-to-gosh sweet moments, all melodramatic pageantry aside. When one teenager was singing far too high, Shania tried to coach her to switch to a lower octave instead of giving her the (cowgirl) boot. Later on, she even convinced Randy to give his vital third vote to an asthmatic singer. (Granted, with the girl's near-death story and inhaler on hand, passing her through was, as Simon sighed, a no-brainer.)

On the downside, her presence and Idol's affection for blindingly obvious humor meant we had to sit through a montage of crappy singers set to Twain's song, "That Don't Impress Me Much." But hey, an Idol viewer with an ax to grind is like the frog carrying the scorpion across the river: You can't be surprised when you get stung.

As for the talent, most of it was of the we've-seen-this-before variety. Literally so in the case of Angela, the 28-year-old recidivist who aced her audition last night and will be going to Hollywood for the third and final time. Her last two shots at Idol didn't pan out for personal reasons: Tragically, her father died a week before her first Hollywood performance, and last year she made it into the top 50 but missed her spot because of a court appearance over unpaid speeding tickets. Regardless of her backstory, though, the guileless feeling Angela imbued into her singing would make you root for her anyway. As Shania kept saying, she's a great singer who just needs a break.

Another charmer was Charity, a 16-year-old girl who honed her style while singing for customers at her parents' hair salon back in Little Rock. Despite her thin voice — which revealed a few weak spots even in a minute of singing — this girl sang Gershwin's endlessly covered "Summertime" with an individualistic flair often missing from the more technically perfect singers Idol rewards. The judges noted her shortcomings but happily looked past them, acknowledging that sometimes the unusual phrasings of an amateur singer thrill more than a Broadway-ready voice (the success of Glee might have reminded the Idol judges that singers with limited ranges, like Cory Monteith, can be more exciting than the pros). So yay for her, even though — who are we kidding? — those unusual phrasings likely won't get her past Hollywood Week.

In terms of raw talent, the 20-year-old student John Park was my favorite. His small frame and Banana Republic good looks were a shocking contrast to the deep, soulful voice he commanded. While he could certainly use some years and heartbreak to age his style, there was no denying he displayed real talent; my bet is he will sound twice as good with a full band behind him.

Overall, though, this was a fairly by-the-numbers episode and the judges knew it: They shooed out the duds and ticket-winners alike with equal speed. Sadly, the intentional screw-ups didn't even provide that breath of oddball comedy we depend on. The guitar player on roller skates was too gimmicky to be fun, the chesty woman performing what she called the boob flex was simply unsettling, and the military man copping the singing style of Tiny Tim was, well, too adept at channeling Tiny Tim to be listenable. As Randy so eloquently put it, "That was weird, right?"

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NEW Shania album 'NOW' out September 29, 2017! Pre-Order it HERE!

A one-hour version of American Idol stood well above the competition, with a 16.6 rating/24 share at 8 p.m. Comparably, and completely unprecedented, was growth for Idol over the year-ago telecast (12.5/18 on Jan. 20, 2009) of 33 percent. Never in the history of television has a veteran season nine series posted gains this large from the year-ago period. That led into a repeat of the pilot of Human Target, which finished third at 9 p.m. with a 5.8/ 9.

With that said, I thought Shania did AMAZING. I could see her being a judge on Idol or X Factor full time. She was outstanding.

American Idol + Shania = Ratings Gold 20/01/10 5:20pm
FOX scored the #1 spot in the ratings for last night's American Idol with special guest judge, Shania Twain!

Idol dominated above the competition, with a 16.6 rating/24 share at 8pm. Comparably, and completely unprecedented, was growth for Idol over the year-ago telecast (12.5/18 on Jan. 20, 2009) of 33 percent. Never in the history of television has a tv show in it's ninth season posted gains this large from the year-ago period.

Way to go Shania!

-Chris

__________________Shania's PlaceShania: often imitated, never duplicated!!

I missed the event. Heard part of an advertisement last week, that it was coming up. But I guess I was doing something else when it aired. Today, I caught part of American Idol kinda by accident, with other judges. It's a bit hard to take, with some of the contestants(?) having such a grossly distorted impression of their vocal ability. I know it's not real easy to know precisely where one's own voice fits on measures of quality. But the guy who would not leave, would not believe the judges knew anything, and had to be taken to the ground and hauled out by 3 security guards, that was just plain craziness. Aren't these people intelligent enough to get some impartial feedback about their ability, before they try to elbow their way to the front of the line, and instantly ALL the way to the top of a very talented profession?

I'm pleased to see how well Shania seems to have done, in the reviews and elsewhere. I had expected, and posted somewhere, months ago, that Simon was crude and insensitive to the extent that NOBODY could get along well with him. I thought his behavior toward Paula Abdul was recurringly condescending, disgusting and sometimes lewd. I expected the same thing from him toward Shania. And given the bizarre behavior and horrible voices in so many of the contestants, I figured she'd be whip-shawed between distractions by them, and by Simon.

Looks like I was wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. But usually I'm at least close to the target. Though I've not seen the actual footage, it appears from the reportage so far, that she was very much in her element. She was the expert on the subject, even more than Simon. And he'd been top dog on the show, previously. I also misjudged her earthiness. She's probably more comfortable with Simon's roving English eye and hand, than I remembered. Her comment about one contestant's lips and possible double meaning about his great bottom end, could have been intentional. Reminds me of her comment in one concert, where she sang one song from the audience. And she talked with the guys in that row, who tried to make room for her. They were a small, unknown band, calling themselves "The Swollen Members". To which she spontaneously, and unabashedly replied - that she wouldn't want to (accidently) sit on a swollen member. It got quite a chuckle from the audience.