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My husband and I have been married for about a year, and in that time we’ve been blessed with several financial gifts from our parents. We keep having this recurring discussion on how to use the money when it’s given to us. I came into the marriage with some debt we’re trying to pay off, but he feels like we should use this gift money like found money and have some fun. What do you think?

– Katie

Dear Katie,

Unless the giver has very specific thoughts on how they’d like you to use the money, then it’s really up to you guys. If the giver wanted you to use it for something specific, though, they probably should have said so or just bought you the item in the first place.

Other than that, I think it’s time someone grew up a little bit and realized it’s not a birthday party when this kind of thing happens. It’s simply money that has come into your household—like a paycheck you’d get on the job, in other words. You don’t go out and blow $100 or whatever on toys or other fun just because it was handed to you by mom and dad. That’s how a 10-year-old behaves.

If there’s something you need, and you agree on it together and choose to buy it as a couple, that’s cool. I’ve got no problem with that. But you guys are just starting out, and you’ve got debts to pay. I’m sure he’s a good guy, but it’s time for him to start acting like an adult about this stuff and work with you on getting your financial lives in order!