Archive for August, 2010

Well, we’re entering the 10th week and all of your vital organs should now be formed. Yay lungs, liver, kidneys and intestines! Your eyes are also developed and eyelids are forming. Your fingers and toes are starting to separate and now your tail is gone! That’s right, you’re less like Buddy and more like our baby!

Today I was watching the Barclays golf tournament and Matt Kuchar beat Martin Laird in a playoff. After Kuchar sunk the clinching putt, his little boy ran out onto the green to hug him. Then his wife came out with their other little kid strapped to her tummy. I can’t wait for you to be old enough to go golfing with me. Obviously I won’t be winning PGA tournaments, but I love golf and I’ve always really enjoyed golfing with my dad, so I can’t wait to introduce you to the game.

Mommy and I just announced to the world that you’re coming and it has been exciting to hear everybody’s reaction. You’ll be the first grandkid on the Potts and Bush sides and the fourth on the Barnes side, so everybody is excited for your arrival in six and-a-half months.

Right now I’m watching the Steelers and Broncos preseason game on Sunday Night Football. The Steelers are my parents’ favorite team, but I don’t care for them except for LaMarr Woodley who played at Michigan. I wonder which NFL team you’ll be a fan of. College football starts this week, so it should be a fun week! Stay healthy!

There are few things that can get me up in the early hours of the morning. Chief among those things is golf and apparently I can now add babies to the list. We trekked down to midtown on the East side for an 8:15 a.m. appointment…the first ultrasound. I had no idea what to expect other than the awkwardness of being a guy in a woman’s lair.

Thankfully, after a frantic search for a Starbucks (and coming up empty and having to settle for Oren’s Daily Roast) there was hardly anyone else in the waiting room when we arrived and we were ushered back to a private room pretty quickly. The nurse got to work right away and the image of Baby X flashed onto the monitor. It was our first look at the peanut-sized (and shaped) living being incubating inside Carrie’s uterus. It was both exciting and emotional, especially when she turned on the sound to hear the heartbeat, which sounded more like a string of firecrackers going off than the typical sound of a heartbeat that you hear on TV shows and movies. But it was the best sound of firecrackers I’ve ever heard.

The first ultrasound

As I sit here looking at the souvenir printout of the baby that she printed out for us, it really sheds a new light onto the issue of abortion in my mind. I just cannot fathom how somebody can look at this knowing that it is a part of the two of you and is being intricately woven together over a period of nine months, and decide that it’s not worth keeping. Of course, my situation is much different than that of many who get to this point, so my feelings of love and compassion for this peanut I’ve only seen in a 2″x 3″ picture don’t reflect those of everybody else, but it just goes to show how amazing the miracle of life really is, how it’s so far beyond our control, and how life really does start at conception, rather than birth.

The only awkward part of the experience was while waiting for Carrie to get her height, weight and blood pressure measured, I was standing next to the bathroom door where other women were passing by with their urine samples. I may have gotten a few dirty looks, but hey, I just saw my kid for the first time, so I don’t care.

The doctor we met with after the ultrasound was very nice and not like the doctors I’ve been warned about in the fatherhood books I’ve been reading. She welcomed my presence in the room, talked to me, and asked if I had any questions or input. Apparently some doctors barely even recognize that the guy in there with his wife or girlfriend. This one, however, seems great and Carrie seemed to really like her. She could be the one delivering the baby (she’s one of four doctors in the practice) so it should be an exciting time over the next seven months!

Hey little guy (or girl)! My book tells me you’re only about an inch big and you weigh less than a quarter of an ounce right now but you already have your arms, legs, fingers and intestines and your heart is starting to beat. And your head makes up half your body right now!

We have our first ultrasound on Friday so we will get to see you for the first time. I can’t wait! Maybe then it will really set in, because I don’t know if it really has yet…it still doesn’t feel real, except for mommy’s constant nausea and insane appetite. Seriously, she can out-eat me right now, although sometimes she gets so grossed out by what she’s eating that she has to go lay down, and then 10 minutes later she’s ready to eat something else.

We just had our first fantasy football draft of the year tonight and i think I got a fairly decent team. Hopefully you like football, but we’ll love you even if you don’t. Although if you become a Notre Dame fan or Ohio State or even somehow Michigan State, it might make that a little harder. Just kidding, we’ll love you no matter what.

When I found out a few weeks ago that we were pregnant I was instantly excited, nervous, and determined to do everything possible to get ready in the next nine months. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the weight of the whole process leading up to birth falls on the woman.

It’s my job to provide extra love and support, to run out no matter the time of day or night and fuel her cravings, to make sure she eats healthy, to pick up the extra chores that she’s not able to do because of nausea, to give massages, to take the dog out so she can sleep, etc. Yet, while all of those things are vitally important, they don’t really give me any connection to the baby. I mean, she’s carrying the thing in her stomach, feeding it, and feeling the kicks and I’m just in a supportive role.

Carrie told me a quote that she heard that goes something like, “Motherhood starts at conception. Fatherhood starts at birth.” Well, I may be unconventional, but I would prefer fatherhood to start from conception as well. So when I read an article the other day on CNN.com called Meet the Modern Dad, I was inspired to start this blog.

I’ve never really been into blogging about my life, but I do love to write. The other blog I run is all about Michigan football and basketball. I realize blogs like this one are typically run by moms and they do a great job, but I’m here to reverse that role and become the modern dad. If you’re a mom and reading this blog, believe me, I’m not trying to outdo you. I’m joining you. Feel free to share stories in the comments section of how your husbands handled and are handling their journey of fatherhood.

So anyway, that’s how this began. I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes in the coming months leading up to the due-date in late March. Thanks for your support!

Kids wanna be so hard
But in my dreams we're still screamin' and runnin' through the yard
And all of the walls that they built in the seventies finally fall
And all of the houses they build in the seventies finally fall
Meant nothin' at all
Meant nothin' at all
It meant nothin

Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling
Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling and into the night

So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I'm still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before this damage is done