Jeff Neumann

Here's some bad news for the summer: From the CDC's latest Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, which by name alone sounds absolutely horrifying, we learn that a new strain of the clap is resistant to cephalosporins — the antibiotics commonly used in treatment.

Back in April, we were warned that our genitals could soon come under attack from a new strain of gonorrhea and, alas, it's finally here! Doctors discovered this new testicle terror and it's called H041. Doctors are calling it "alarming" but also "predictable." Why so alarming, you ask? Because "there are no other treatment options besides cephalosporins right now," STD expert Dr. Kimberly Workowski told MSNBC. Oh, boy.