Could you share a recipe to cook an apple pie? I’ve started dating this girl, I would like to make her a little treat

First off, the key to any good pie is the crust. No respectable person doesn’t make their own crust. Now with apple, which is my favorite, you have some options. You can go with a Dutch or French crust, which is a streusel crumb top crust with a regular bottom crust and tastes fucking great, but it is mostly brown sugar and butter, so expect the nutritional value to be shit. But you are eating a pie, so who gives a fuck, right? Also, a scoop of vanilla ice cream or it is just a crime. Buy good shit too; Dreyer’s Vanilla Bean goes great.

But if you are trying to impress a woman – you gotta go lattice with the crust. You will probably want to throw the goddamn thing against the wall a few times because it is a royal pain in the ass the first few times you do one, so I suggest you watch a youtube video on how to do it right. Worst case, just ditch the top crust and go crumb crust. Don’t bother with a regular top crust; it’s like one step above just fucking buying one. It shouts “I am a quitter” in pie talk.

Now, unfortunately I just moved and my recipe is in a box, so you will have to just get my crust recipe and then two apple pie filling options. The easy one I have made and tastes great, and the other one is probably even better. If it were me, I’d make option 1. Both are straight from the web.

Pie Crust (cooking time, 10 minutes):

9 inch pie tin:

1 cup – all-purpose flour

½ tsp – salt

1/3 plus 1 Tbsp – Butter-Flavor Crisco shortening

2-3 Tbsp – ice water

Preheat oven to 475. Mix flour and salt into large bowl. Cut shortening into the dry mixture until it starts to look like coarse cornmeal, with a fork, a small piece at a time. Add in small amounts of ice water while mixing, until dough is made into a ball. Roll out pie shell. Lay pie shell into pan and prick bottom of pie crust with a fork. Press along crust edges and pie tin to hold in place and cover edges with aluminum foil.

Bake for 8-10 minutes. Let cool completely before adding pie filling.

Filling Option 1:

1 cup sugar

4 tablespoons cornstarch

3/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

3/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Dash salt

4-½ cups thinly sliced peeled tart apples

1 tablespoon water

2 tablespoons butter

Directions (this is for the first pie):

Measure flour, salt and baking powder into large bowl; mix well. Cut in shortening until mixture resembles small peas. Sprinkle in oil then milk, 1 tablespoon at a time, tossing with fork after each addition. When it’s thoroughly mixed, press dough firmly together with hands as you would a snowball. Divide dough into two balls. Roll out each piece on a lightly floured pastry cloth. Put bottom crust into 9-in. pie pan; set aside.

Prepare filling by stirring together the sugar, cornstarch, nutmeg, cinnamon and salt; mix with apples and water. Turn into pastry-lined pan; dot with butter. Cover with top crust; seal and flute. Slit steam vents in top crust. Cover edge with aluminum foil to prevent over-browning.

Bake at 425° for 25 minutes. Remove foil and bake 15 minutes longer.

Filling Option 2 (easy as pie). This one calls for a Streusel top, but you don’t have to. The recipe for that is there too but I always ditch the nuts.

In medium bowl, stir remaining filling ingredients until well blended. Pour over apple mixture in pie plate. In small bowl, mix all streusel ingredients until crumbly; sprinkle over filling.

Bake 40 to 45 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes. Store in refrigerator.

Good luck. Just know, you are opening a can of worms. You knock this shit out of the park and you will be baking every weekend. Good thing is, you will find it therapeutic. You will start in on the rhubarb, and the other fillings.

Side note: Lemon Meringue is for fucking losers. I feel very strongly about this.