"HURRY," said the White Rabbit, glancing at his pocket watch, "or we may be too late for the . . ."

"Late for the what?" asked Alice, scurrying to keep up.

"I can't say," said the Rabbit. "You might ask him." He pointed to a Walrus in a general's uniform waddling through the glen with an armful of thousand dollar bills clutched to his bemedalled chest.

"My," said Alice, "what a great deal of money."

"Yes," said the Walrus proudly. "It comes to $13 billion. I plan to buy 27 Apache helicopters or maybe three aircraft carriers. I never can keep these things straight. Would you care for one?"

"No thank you," said Alice. "But whatever do you need all those things for?" asked Alice.

"Why for our 'smaller scale contingency,' of course," said the Walrus. "That should be plain to anyone."

"Excuse me," said a Ferret emerging from a large white house. "We in the White House prefer describing it as 'a humanitarian mission.' "

"I say we should call a spade a spade," shouted a Hippopotamus, who was one of a large group of Hippopotami milling about atop a rise. "We on Capitol Hill prefer to describe it as an 'armed conflict.' "

This caused a heated argument among the Hippopotami. "Engagement!" cried one. "Nonsense," growled another. "It's clearly an operation." A third pushed the first two aside. "What's wrong with 'altercation'?" he said.

"Let's not pussyfoot around," said a large Hippopotamus. "This 'belligerency' is unquestionably an out-and-out 'military campaign.' "

"Oh, I fear they are going to come to blows," said Alice worriedly. "Wait," said the White Rabbit. "That noted peace maker, Hippopotamus Tom Campbell is about to speak."

Sure enough, a younger, broad-browed Hippopotamus had risen to his hind feet. "Let us stop this petty squabbling over a word," said the younger Hippopotamus. "The truth of the matter is that spending billions of dollars for weapons for devastating a country with thousand of bombs is totally illegal under our sacred Constitution."

"Does he mean bombing people is illegal?" asked Alice.

"Of course not," said the Rabbit. "Listen."

"Before another missile is launched or another smart bomb dropped," continued Hippopotamus Campbell, "we on Capitol Hill must do our duty and issue a formal declaration of . . ."

Before he could finish, the other Hippopotami leaped on him and clapped their hooves over his mouth, as the Ferret cheered them on.

"Goodness gracious," said Alice. "What awful thing has that poor creature done to deserve such treatment?"

"It isn't what he did," said the Rabbit. "It was the three-letter word he was about to say out loud."

"You mean 'war'?" asked Alice.

With a shriek, the Ferret vanished into the White House. With rumbling groans and moans, the Hippopotami lumbered lickety-split into the forest, and the glen was silent.