For more than 15 minutes, the curly-haired, brown-eyed toddler lay clinically dead on the floor of the Love Nest day care center in San Jose.

His parents still have a hard time imagining the tiny object that came close to almost killing Judea Farrow?

It was a grape.

On July 7, the little boy had choked on the fruit fed to him by his San Jose day care provider. An emergency worker reached down his throat, pulled out the grape and saved Judea.

Now, the 22-month-old East Palo Alto boy — who would peer happily up at the airplanes, the birds, the blue sky for hours — can’t focus on shapes just feet from where he lays virtually paralyzed in his stroller in the back yard. He can’t walk, swallow, smile, pass his bowels or speak. Keening softly, his eyes shift as though he is intently thinking. Doctors are not sure of the clarity of Judea’s thoughts as they move sluggishly through his damaged brain.

“Out of everything that could happen, he didn’t fall or get beat up by some screwed up parents, it was something as innocent as a grape,” said his mother, Christine Farrow.

Medical experts say such deaths and serious child choking injuries are more common than most people think— culprits being hot dogs, popcorn, grapes, even bay leaves. One major study concluded that five children die after choking every week — close to half on food — and thousands end up in the emergency room. A dangerous brand of Asian gel candy was banned after a Mercury News investigation seven years ago. A New York City politician has called for stricter labeling for high-risk foods after a child choked fatally on a grape in Brooklyn.

Santa Clara County Deputy District Attorney Dan Nishigaya decided at the end of last week that Judea’s accident was not a crime.

“It should be clear that this doesn’t mean we think this was appropriate care,” Nishigaya said.

San Jose police detective David Anaya investigated Judea’s near-death. Anaya, a father of three who has taken a personal interest in Judea’s plight, sat with parents’ Christine Farrow and Jay Bolian on their patio. They proudly showed them the small, subtle signs that they hoped were signs that Judea was getting better. Anaya took off his sunglasses and quietly told them there would be no charges. They both said they understood, that they never expected or even wanted anyone to go to jail. This, they knew, was one of those accidents that you read about but never expect to happen to you. And all they wanted now was to tell other parents that it could, it could happen to you. Since the accident, Christine sometimes walks up to strangers feeding their babies in parks and she cautions them about dangerous foods.

Meanwhile, the state Department of Social Services this month ruled that Diana Saunders, the owner of the Love Nest, should be stripped of her license to practice day care in California, according to agency spokesman Oscar Ramirez. Saunders, who has been licensed since 1990, was cited for the choking and also cited after state investigators found an assistant not authorized to work in the facility. It was not the first time they had found an unauthorized assistant there. Ramirez said that Saunders and every one of the 50,000-plus day care operators in the state should have training in food choking hazards for children. Saunders did not return numerous phones calls.

Christine and Jay watch their son for signs of the talkative, bright, cheerful little boy whose smiling photograph they have on their computer screensaver. As they lay on a recent night in their tiny one-bedroom apartment, Judea slowly uncoiled his arm — usually tensed in an involuntary contraction — and touched his father’s face. His parents burst into tears.

They have to move from their studio on Azalia Drive — Judea’s wheelchair won’t fit and his parents have no idea how they will pay their new flood of bills.

But Judea’s accident has brought his estranged parents back together again. Jay was living in Mesa, Ariz., going through a divorce when he got the call from his own mother about the accident. He fell to the floor and covered his ears, so he couldn’t hear any more. Then he got the next flight.

Caring for their injured son at Valley Medical Center brought Judea’s parents closer by necessity, at first. Finally, Jay put his stuff in a truck and drove out from Arizona to be a full-time father. Christine is a bartender at a San Jose blues club and is taking classes at Foothill College.

“Judea made us look at life in a different way,” Bolian said. “It made us look at our mistakes and say, ‘There is this kid involved, we have to make it work.'”‰” The doctors make no promises, or clear prognoses. Judea’s trauma is severe, as though he had been pulled too late from a pool or suffered a serious stroke. But children are resilient.

“Is he in there?” Bolian said. “I think he’s in there. As a matter of fact, I think he is capable of anything. I don’t listen to everything the doctors say. What can I do? Give up on him?”

An airplane flew overhead. Judea’s soft, perennial moan ceased. His eyes floated upward. Although it was impossible to tell for sure, it looked to his parents like he was listening.

The San Jose Police Officers’ Association has created a fund to help defray some of the costs of Judea’s medical treatment. Anyone wishing to contribute can do so online at the charitable donations link of the www.sjpoa.com or call (408) 298-1133.

A barbecue fundraiser will be held at 3 p.m. Sept. 21 at JJ’s Blue’s bar, 3439 Stevens Creek Blvd, San Jose.

TIPS TO PREVENT CHOKING

Learn CPR (basic life support).

Keep the following foods from children until 4 years of age: hot dogs, nuts and seeds, chunks of meat or cheese, whole grapes, hard, gooey, or sticky candy, popcorn, chunks of peanut butter, raw vegetables, raisins and chewing gum.

Insist that children eat at the table, or at least while sitting down.

They should never run, walk, play or lie down with food in their mouths.

Cut food for infants and young children into pieces no larger than one-half inch and teach them to chew their food well.

Supervise mealtime for infants and young children.
Source: American Academy of Pediatrics

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