Preparing My Heart To Receive Him // Glimpses Link Up

Thanksgiving has come and gone and we have now entered the Holy season of Advent. It’s a time of much reflection, anticipation and joy as we look forward to Christmas and embrace the hope of the babe who came to save the world.

My heart isn’t quite ready for Advent. I haven’t been doing much of anything over this last week. It’s all I can do to muster up the strength to get myself to work each day. Once home I’m too exhausted to even get online and stay connected in community.

Part of the reason I feel so unprepared for this season is that I know that God desires to do a deep work in my heart. He’s already begun it, but you guys, it’s so painful. When we truly take a step back and look at ourselves and the mess that surrounds us, our eyes are open to the ugliness of our own humanity. I don’t like what I see. I’m a complete mess and feel as if I might crack at any moment. I’m fighting hard to stay in control, yet longing to give up control at the same time. But I can’t have it both ways. It’s not true surrender unless I lay it down and am willing to come away empty handed.

I have taken a hard look at my own heart this past week and realize how desperately I need Him. I am broken beyond repair and only He can put me back together again. But I have to be willing to do the hard work. Introspection may look as if it’s self-focused, but unless we allow ourselves to take a good, hard look at who we are, we will be unaware of the person God intended us to be. Introspection is a good thing, as long as we don’t dwell there.

This past week I’ve been stuck in that place. I’ve been “me” focused and can feel the downward spiral and it’s frightening. I’m considering contacting my doctor to discuss my emotional state, but there is a part of me that believes I should just be able to pull myself up and get out of the mess. I’ve been in that place before, where I needed help to get up over the cloud that hovers, but is that the right move? I know that something needs to change and I have to come to a place where I can begin to think rationally again about many things. I need faith to arise in my heart and His truth to consume my mind.

In the meantime, I whispers prayers for God to come closer as I prepare my heart the best I know how to receive the promise of hope, joy and a full life.

How can I pray for you my friend? I don’t have much to give right now, but I know God hears my weak prayers. I would love to lift you up.

And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.

Glimpses #731-740

731. The office decorated for Christmas.
732. A freshly groomed dog.
733. Playing trains with the grandson.
734. Youngest daughter blessing my hearing during worship.
735. Oldest son debuting another song he wrote.
736. A smile from a stranger.
737. Celebrating over 20 years of friendship with my besties.
738. A new cross-body purse won in the gift exchange.
739. Trusting my heart with others.
740. Selling one of our cars – PROVISION!

The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!

It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.

Barbie

Seeking beauty in the ordinary and embracing life to the fullest. Thank you for stopping by and come again soon!

20 Responses

Praying that you know God with you, filling you with his love, and that you are able to let him in to those broken places and know his healing. Also for wisdom about seeking help from your doctor.
I would love prayers for energy in this busy season and that I am able to make space for quality time to focus on God.

Oh yes! So many times I’ve left something at the altar, Barbie, only to snatch it right back when my circumstances continue to bleak or challenging. I appreciate your thoughts here today, my friend. They are a reminder that I always need to remember!

Agreeing with you in prayer, dear sister.
If it’s any consolation, we are ALL messes. Some may not admit it or even recognize it, but it is better to be in a place where you realize it and cry out to God for His help.
On surrender, I remember the days of my struggle with that fear of totally surrendering to God. When I finally let go and surrendered to Him, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Surrender to Him ushers in the peace that we so long for.

Yes, sweet friend, we have to do the hard work of laying it down and letting it go. But never forget, never doubt, that He is there with you the entire time. Advent is the perfect lesson in hopeful waiting through the darkest hours. May each glimpse of “Christmas” remind you that you are not alone. He lives! He is come. And the gift of His presence is for YOU! Praying for you, friend.

But we aren’t, Barbie – we aren’t broken beyond repair. But when I feel that way, I know that God is doing His best work. Bless you as you lift your hurt to HIm and wait on His sweet repair work (and I would go to see your DR. – that’s why we have them – they don’t know everything – I know, I sleep with one!) but God often provides through them.

Barbie, sometimes this season where we anticipate and celebrate the Light of Christ coming into the world is one where the darkness can seem to encroach more than before. Oh, friend, we’re all broken, all being put back together, piece by piece, little by little by His grace. And we are broken into beauty too as God does His work in our hearts, giving us beauty for ashes and birthing Hope from despair. I hope and pray you will know the warm comfort of His Love tenderly hugging you close. You don’t have to do more or be more. You are already His precious Beloved. Sending love, gentle hugs and prayers. xo

I so agree with you, Barbie: “Introspection may look as if it’s self-focused, but unless we allow ourselves to take a good, hard look at who we are, we will be unaware of the person God intended us to be. Introspection is a good thing, as long as we don’t dwell there.” We can’t fix what we can’t see.

Dear Barbie,
I pray that these words of your friends will lighten the heavy load that you bear, and help you to feel the love of Jesus so close. But at the same time, I know what you mean about the struggle to surrender feeling as if it’s too hard to give over to Him. And, yet, even then HE is with us, helping us to carry that load to His altar. May Jesus draw you to Himself and let you know how precious you are to Him. I appreciate your heart of honesty so much–even that is an act of surrender and obedience. I too need His grace to keep going in the surrenders that He asks of me. Blessings and love to you!

Prying that God will fill you with fierce faith and that His truth would permeate every fiber of your being.
I appreciate your transparency, Barbie. May you find comfort, counsel, rest, peace and joy this season.

Barbie, you are giving us more than you realize. Your transparency in the midst of messiness and brokenness ministers to us as we are all messy and broken. I identify with that struggle to surrender our all to Him. We don’t like to be emptied of ourselves, do we? It sounds like you are depressed and overwhelmed, too, Barbie. If you feel the nudge to see your doctor, please do. I know Jesus is the first place to go to, but I also have learned that sometimes God uses therapy or medication to help us cope in this life. I feel for you. I pray Jesus will wrap you so close to His heart that you will hear the faithful rhythm of His love for you! Love and hugs to you!