Life can be a crazy thing, at least for me. Sweeter than honey one minute, An accelerating eight ball the next. This is just an outlet for how I experience that thing called Life.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Why Am I a Terrible Almost Friend?

Have you ever felt like you were pushing someone in your life away? I feel like I have this syndrome, wherein, I will get close to a person, genuinely like them, and then just... I don't know, fall flat. The fire just goes out. No, I'm not referring to romantic relationships. I used to be like that with men, but I'm currently in a romantic relationship that's been going strong for years now. Friends though? Ugh. That's how I know the few constant, long-term friends I have were made just for me... I actually work to keep them. It's not that I don't trust new people I meet (I don't -_-), it's just that I... well I give up. Call it a subconscious preservation mechanism or even conceit or selfishness, if you will. I'll take the bashing, because I do feel terrible for this character flaw of mine.

Without naming names (Though, this applies to so many people in my life, I doubt you'd figure it out), let me give you an example. There was a girl that I met out here and immediately hit it off with. I instantly liked her- we were similar, yet different where it counts (yes, I said what I meant). Long story short, I made a strong effort to, "seal the deal" for maybe 3 weeks. Then, I just stopped. No particular reason. The need for the friendship with her just faded. Perhaps she wasn't responsive enough to my efforts. Perhaps I felt she wasn't genuine, who knows? We're still cool, and, at times, I wish I'd done better. I'm just a terrible keeper-upper-wither <---- LOL, welcome to my dictionary.

I think its absolutely great and mature that you see your flaw. The thing is are you willing to work on it or do you not care to? That's really the only thing that matters. I would say that you lack the balance to juggle both a romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships. Do you think that the specific area you actually need to focus on & work towards maturing is both a romantic and non-romantic relationships and doing so simultaneously? (you don't have to answer) :) Just my thoughts, but your the only one that can answer that.

Aye if u let err cool person u came across become a friend, u would b hella stressed. Havin to deal with too many ppl shit can not be fun. Especially while being an adult, becuz ppl typically use there friends to unload all the bs that happened to em in their lives