Maintainers Weekly Chat July 1 - July 7

Summer just feels so good. Even yesterday afternoon when our community garden had to be weeded. I pulled out those miserable uninvited guys with tap roots that extend forever as I drooled over the thought that tomatoes will be ready for picking one day. I ate sugar snaps straight from the vine - best tasting things ever.

Welcome back from Greece, Andrea. At local Greece festivals, I've noticed many overweight folks but have marveled at how un-selfconscious they were when up dancing in front of everybody. Everybody looks like Zorba; they belong on the dance floor.

Summer can be as trying as winter, is my feeling, as I'm sure Allison would agree. Here, it's vaguely stormy looking every morning, which then resolves into a humid day, sometimes a bit overcast, sometimes white-hot with sun glare. In the forecast, there is always possible thunderstorm with flash flooding and ya'll know how I hate that "f" word.

I'm about to head out on a run, when I ought to be in my Monday morning spin class. This is part of my resolution to change up my routine a little and also to be among green things, rather than constantly staring into a laptop.

This was the weekend that wasn't. Yes, it was mostly me and the laptop (which is why I'm trying to get out & run, to make good on my resolve), reading six documents that my direct reports wrote during the last quarter and writing up critiques for their midyear reviews. I started off with 15 documents to go through. Thus far, I've read nine. Hoping to finish off the last six sometime today. My manager wanted this all done during the first week in July, though the company's deadline isn't until August. It's hard sometimes for me being a hard-driving woman working for a woman who's even harder-driving than I am.

Bill I suppose, since we are all conscious of our weight, that we don't really understand all those folks out there who don't care how overweight they are and just go about living their lives. They dance, they have sex, they go to the mall - .

I have become a lot LESS self-conscious when doing new things - for me life literally IS too short etc.

I'm 9 years away from officially being a senior. I've got a lot less life left and mean to LIVE that time, rather than sitting inside and being afraid of how I look doing something.

I now go swimming without worrying about my jiggly thighs or rounded belly. I bike and kayak in spandex and neoprene and don't think about how I look. As long as I'm strong and healthy the cosmetics don't matter that much to me.

And having a temporary 2 lb. gain on what is a healthy body well within proper BMI doesn't ruin my day or week. I don't obsess about reaching a certain number on the scale.

I am at peace with my body and my efforts (and I do MAKE an effort) to maintain it's health. All the small stuff is small stuff.

Can you tell it's a holiday here? I am going on and on as my plan to go out on my SUP has been suspended by rather high winds so I have lots of time this morning.

Think I'll wake DH in a couple of hours and drag him out for a bike ride. I suspect he's kinda loving/hating having such a fit partner. He refers to me as his "muscle cutie".

Good week all!

Dagmar

__________________

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow" - Mary Ann Radmacher

_saef_ I'd like to remind you that you used to say that you never ran, because of your knees. Then you went Upstate and had to run a bit, and found you could, a bit. And now you're going out into the green outside world, going out running. And you can! It's lovely to see how you've loosened up there.

About to have a shower after my exercises. MBF - movement-based flexibility.

This heat totally takes my appetite away. Yesterday I had to force myself to eat at all. I still came in under calories. The scale showed it this morning, too, but I am not happy about it. I look at it as an artificial loss.
It was 107 here in Northern California, a cool spell for Allison where it was 122,

At 5 AM this morning it was 91 degrees and cloudy--about 50% humidity. They say it might rain tomorrow. All I know is that I'm already tired of this weather.

Looking forward to my cruise later this month, but am dismayed that one of the things I wanted DH to see on the trip cannot happen. We're visiting Florence on a Monday when all the galleries are closed, so no seeing the real statue of David. I guess that means we'll have to go back another time? So instead of even going to Florence, we'll do a different tour--this one to Luca (beautiful town) and Pisa so he can at least see the leaning tower.

So very sad to have read the newspaper this morning and learn of the deaths of 19 firefighters in Arizona. Tragic.

Dagmar you have accomplished a lot more than just maintenance if you have attained the state of being comfortable in your own body! That's a kind of enlightenment I think.

The stress of losing my wedding chapel business and other stresses have been extreme. This is in some ways the worst time I've had to go through in decades. And I continued to self-medicate with chocolate chip cookies, so now I pulled out of my "winter weight maintenance" and gained a couple more pounds. Eating badly creates temporary numbness but is followed by even lower self-esteem, a kind of physical hangover, and other negatuive consequences we all know too well. I also stopped visiting this site, and my friends and supporters here. Too ashamed to face you all. None of this is good news.

Today is a new day, a new month. A couple days ago we actually signed the contract to sell our wedding chapel. An uncertain financial future lies ahead. We will continue running our chapel until late October and close our doors.

During the loss of our business and the feelings of loss, failure and helplessness that come along with this, I woke up this morning that at least I can take good care of my body and manage my own weight and dietary patterns. So I will lean on my friends here for support as I let go of the cookie habit, cut my calories, and treat myself better in general. I am encouraged that I withdrew into my cave of avoidance and self-pity for a relatively short time, and the weight damage can still be undone.

I also know from sharing time with you all that I am by no means the only person who has experienced life's slings and arrows. One of us died not long ago, and others of us have undergone major family traumas and other huge challenges. Somehow we slog through it all and help each opther along. Thanks in advance and I will keep you informed of my progress several times a week, that is my promise to myself.

Being comfortable in your body is a funny thing, and I'm not sure I'll ever stop struggling with that. I say it's funny because I distinctly remember feeling really good when I first started losing weight and was around 150. Now I'm down to about 120 and I think I'm more insecure than I was then!

My sympathies to those of you dealing with the heat wave - I remember my time in Tucson and I'm pretty glad I'm not there right now (although come winter I'll wish I was)!

Chris It's good to hear that you are going to now start practicing healthy habits again. Life is change - good or bad - and I believe we can successfully face all the changes with our health at it's best.

I'm also glad to hear you are going to post again. Sharing the bad stuff is really hard sometimes but there is, for me, such a relief when I do. And it's also a joy to share the good stuff - I am hoping for some of that for you real soon!

Dagmar

__________________

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow" - Mary Ann Radmacher

Thanks! We have celebrating so far by taking a walk for 1 1/2 hours which included the park in which tonite's fireworks will be set off. I am really proud of DH. We walked past all sorts of stands selling all sorts of fried greasy stuff and he stopped at the fresh produce stand and suggested we buy asparagus to BBQ and strawberries for dessert tonite.

We will get a small cup of fries to share at the fireworks - part of our Canada Day fireworks ritual - but that's the indulgence for the weekend!

Dagmar

__________________

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow" - Mary Ann Radmacher

A neighbor called, asked if I could take care of her cats for a week. And do a few other things--bring in the mail, etc. I said yes. I've never been inside her house. Until now. Um, can you say hoarder? And she has FIFTEEN cats! Plus 6 fish, a turtle and several dozen potted plants--all outside that have to be watered daily.

Allison, now that crosses the line between a favor and a part-time job. Your neighbor needs to pay some impecunious teenager in the area, or perhaps engage a house-sitter.

Michele, it takes an awful lot of humidity and heat to kill my appetite. Today, in my air-conditioned apartment, after a run in the humidity, it was thriving.

You walk sounds lovely, Dagmar, and reminds me that I ought to do a meandering, almost aimless, observational kind of walk someday myself. I've been rather a vigorous strider with too many errands on her mind.

Chris, I understand the feelings of loss, failure and helplessness. I felt like that after my apartment was destroyed in a flood. I ended up feeling rather defiant at the world. Yes, I felt like giving it the finger. "Take what you will, destroy all I own, but I am still standing, right here, in this body." I relate to your revelation that you must take care of yourself. Weight-training felt like the answer. It wasn't just a metaphor for getting stronger, it was a way of feeling bigger in a world that was making me feel small. Please don't stay away when you feel absolutely awful. Bring all the ugliness and awfulness here. Or what else is the board good for, but as a place to brag and put up a front about how great everything is going? And why bother doing that here, of all places?

Ward, are you free? Was the swim meet held? And I'm with you on feeling attracted to lipo. I've been reading about all kinds of procedures online, some of which use lasers or extreme cold or whatever, feeling fascinated by what I used to immediately dismiss as quackery. I go for facials and pedicures and massages & for some reason it doesn't seem like a big jump to go for something else. But ah, the expense. The puritan in me looks at the numbers and thinks, "Trip to Europe."

Birchie, yes, I run, in my way, that is, I run all the way, but I always feel like I must be doing it wrong. In the pictures, people are long-striding and they seem to be floating. To me it's a lot of pounding, jouncing, jarring my knees, making a bit of a spragging sound with my sneakers. Thud, thud, skip, thud, thud. When does that lovely deerlike floating moment kick in? I've got the breathing right, and the heart-rate, but not the gait.