I wrote this poem about my life at home, how I feel, and everything that goes on.

Teardrops

The hurt in my eyes is all that has to be said
Sometimes I know I'm better off dead
The pain is the only thing I can feel
Knowing it's the one thing that's real
Behind all the games and lies
An emptiness haunts my eyes
A person who I used to be
Worse even though it wasn't me
Sorrow consuming every thought
Slowly losing everything I've got
Darkness closing in all around
Still I don't make a single sound
Evil fills the void inside
This life's not one I'll confide
However deeper someone tries to look
Whatever happens the ground has shook
The dread and hate leaves me in a daze
All around me demons fires blaze
Living isn't worthwhile if its torture
Yet it's that to which I'm not sure
Don't try to understand the words written here
For I'm not the one to fear

I know how most of these people feel who wrote about their depression. When I was in the United States Army I was Sexually Assaulted by three black men who were in the Army Company and in the same Platoon. It felt like it took forever. I had a big bruise on my neck where they held me down and raped me. Over and over again. After they were done all they said was, " that was a good piece of ass." When I got back to base I told my drill Sergeant and they did a whole investigation about it. When I was told that the investigator didn't believe I went and I tried killing myself by overdosing on some pills. I didn't want to be there any more I didn't want to live anymore either. I was taken to the hospital and then taken to the mental ward for suicide watch. I was depressed and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for a long time without any medications or counseling. I am doing better today. It still hurts, but I know everything is going to be OK.