I'm Becky - a Northern Virginian who dreams of the country but could never *really* be far from a city. Minimalist. Yoga and nail polish lover. Bookworm. Miscarriage Survivor. Infertility Warrior. Prefers Etsy over the mall. Crazy in love with my husband. Inspired by living simply and intentionally. Firm believer in finding joy in life's little moments. Welcome!

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Jun 16, 2014

Two steps forward, three steps back

There have been a lot of losses and tragedy that I've seen lately, and somehow it makes me yearn for you even more.

We've endured our first Mother's and Father's Days without you. Here's hoping those are the worst because they definitely were doozies.

I remember who screamed when I blurted out, "I'm pregnant." I remember who cried, who laughed, who squealed, and who cussed. (Trust me, your mom isn't the only one who uses colorful language when excited).

I don't know if I'll have that again. Regardless of whether or not I actually get pregnant again, I can't see being anything other than terrified what happened to you will happen again. I'm working through that, but I just don't know.

Your Dad and I are walking this weekend for you. We are looking forward to it - we've named our team after you, and we have some pretty awesome shirts if I do say so myself. It's called the Walk of Hope, and I'm clinging to that idea.

Hope.

I could use some right now.

Because I'm sure the people will be wonderful, and the stories will be touching, but in my heart I know I would change this in an instant if I could - so I was still pregnant with you, and meeting you in less then two months.

My heart goes out to you and Ben. I hope that Saturday is another step towards healing and that you feel surrounded by love as I know a lot of people will be thinking of you, Ben, and Cece. Love you so much!