Endometriosis Support Group

Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.

VENTING

I need opinions and advice!!! (I also posted this up in the healthy relationships support group so sorry if at some point I ask for a mans opinion or something. I just want to get as many opnions as I can)

My bf and I have been together for almost 2 and a half years. Last year he became friends with this other guy. For the purpose of this discussion lets call my bf Adam and his friend Rick. They both enjoy the same things very much. They both ride motorcycles, which is how they met in the first place. (For those who are starting to form some sort of an opinion, this isnt about me worrying if my bf is gay lol) Anywhoo... Rick treats his gf like shit. They've been together for a few years and he constantly says she's getting fat (which is beyond true. Ok she's 25 now and has put on some weight since he met her like 4 years ago, but she's definitely not FAT!) Anyways he's beyond rude. Rick and Adama are inseperable now. When one says one thing, the other agrees. Lately Adam and I have been getting into sooooo many arguments that mostly have to do with Rick and his gf, lets call her Sandra.

Sandra and I became friends. Now we're pretty good friends and our bfs have a problem with this. I wanna know is this all men? Whats wrong with us being friends? Is it that they're scared we're gonna talk about them? Is it because it might be easier to catch them lying about something now? Adam used to have a problem with me going out with certain friends because they were single and partied alot and thought if I was with them, I was doing the same thing. So I figured that itd be a good thing, me hanging out with this girl who clearly had a bf she wasnt leaving. And it's not like we go out and party... We went out for icecream today and our bfs were all like.. "why are you guys friends?" Lets also put this in perspective. Adam is 27, Rick is 32 I believe and Sandra is 25. Im turning 19 next week. Now personally I think that the guys are acting quite a bit childish. They throw temper tantrums ALL the time.

Either way the point of this whole thing is that lately me and Adam have been fighting like animals. A few days ago me and Sandra wanted to go for icecream with the guys. So I text Adam and asked him if him and Rick wanted to go because Sandra and I had a craving. Adam text me back saying "Please dont start, youre gonna get them in a fight" (meaning sandra and rick) Now Im tired of being the one blamed for them fighting. This is all because Rick is a dumb asshole who doesnt want to take his gf anywhere but expects her to stay home waiting for him. Fuck that I say. Lets put things in perspective again, Adam joins in on the fat jokes about Sandra which in turn gets Sandra angry because both the guys are calling her names and saying she's fat which in turn gets her and Rick fighting. Now why is that ok and why is me asking to go for a treat not ok????

I love my bf very much. Sometimes I think too much. Im scared that our relationship may not be able to handle much more of this bickering. Ever since he's been hanging out with Rick, he's changed. And I try to get him to see that but he hates it when I tell him I want to talk about stuff. I think we have an absolute communication problem and Im going to need therapy really soon. We've gone through a lot and I've dealt with a lot. On top of being sick now and constantly going to doctors and feeling like crap, I barely get to see him because he's either hanging out with Rick, riding his motorcycle (which he used to take me on ALL the time, now not so much) or at home playing his PS3 game Call of Duty.

Im sorry this has been so long but it's almost 2 in the morning and there wasnt enough alcohol in the house to keep me from writing so much. Im losing my nerves, Im angry all the time and depressed because Im sick, and I feel as if Adam doesnt care bout us anymore. Am I wrong to think that he's being immature? Is it just me who has the problem? I feel like Im constantly getting mad at him and why Im mad seems plausible but then I think that it cant be because Im mad so often.

it sounds like things are really hard for you and 'sandra'. First of all, NO ONE should call anyone fat. Even if they gained 70 lbs (which I did once), calling someone fat is a horrible thing and can cause a lot of damage. If that is an indicator of how her bf is, he sounds like a real ass. If my husband EVER called me fat, I would ask him where the front door was and tell him to get acquainted with it.
Secondly, your bf sounds like he is not helping/supporting/engaging with you at all and that is really hard on someone who is sick. I don't know the whole story of course, but if he has 'checked out' on being your caring supporter, you may want to ask him what he thinks he is there for. I know our husbands etc. have it hard and need breaks/lose their temper too....and they all have annoying hobbies, ha ha. But ignoring you is no solution to anything.
Lastly, i don't mean to to judge or sound harsh, but again if my husband told me who to hang out with, I would tell him to worry about his own friends. Sandra's bf could be considered pretty abusive by most for controlling her friends and its a bad sign to be honest....my husband is HAPPY if I get out of the house, make friends and find support elsewhere.
I hope I wasn't too honest, but I know how hard it is to see the situation impartially, like I can. My suggestion, honestly tell your husband that he is making choices that affect your relationship and that you won't tolerate anything abusive, like being told who to talk to or watching him call a poor girl fat.!!!

Hey Monica! I am so sorry you are going thru this with your bf. You are not the one who is the problem! And it seems to me that as your bf is spending more time with his friend....he is becoming more like him...and he is starting to be controling with you as well. Don't stand for it Mo. You are very young...and though it may feel like he is the only guy you could ever love as much as you love him....it's not true. You could certainly find someone who would treat you better. This is kind of a test Mo, marriage is 100%....and if he can't be there for you 100% just as your boyfriend, what's going to change when you are married. You don't want to get stuck in a marriage like that. No one, not even a husband really, has the right to tell you who you can or can't be friends with. obviously if it was a friendship that was effecting your relationship you have the right to talk about it. I do think you guys have some communication problems...but more than that I think he has some respect issues. At 27 and 32...to call someone fat...it's no longer an immaturity thing...it is a disrespecting thing. They know better...and they don't care that they are hurting her feelings. Plus if you do go to therapy he needs to go with you! at least once!
hugs to you Moe! How are you feeling these days? Any luck on a second opinion on the endo??

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