Surrendering and Demanding Rights: Two Kinds of Love

Thoughts on Mercy and Justice in 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15

Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in
idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received
from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us,
because we were not idle when we were with you, 8 nor did we eat
anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we
worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you.
9 It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in
ourselves an example to imitate. 10 For even when we were with you,
we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work,
let him not eat. 11 For we hear that some among you walk in
idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. 12 Now such persons we
command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work
quietly and to earn their own living. 13 As for you, brothers, do
not grow weary in doing good. 14 If anyone does not obey what we
say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to
do with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Do not regard him as an
enemy, but warn him as a brother.

By surrendering and demanding a right at the same time Paul
modeled two forms of love.

In verses 8-9 he surrendered the right to be paid by
the church for his ministry: “With toil and labor we worked
night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It
was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in
ourselves an example to imitate.” So Paul has the right to be
paid simply for preaching. But he surrenders that right in this
case to accomplish something else: giving an example to the church
of secular work for self-support.

But Paul also demanded a right in verse 10—the
right to receive work for pay: “If anyone is not willing to
work, let him not eat.”

Both of these—the surrender of a right, and the
demand of a right—are forms of love.
Surrenderinga right is love because Paul
sacrifices his own right in order to model a productive way to
live. Demanding a right is love because it aims not at
self-aggrandizement, but at the good of the brother. This is what
verses 14-15 make plain:

If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of
that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be
ashamed. 15 Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a
brother.

The aim is not alienation, but restoration from destructive
behavior through tough love that insists on change.

Another way to say it is that Paul was modeling mercy and
justice. Mercy : because, in working a secular job for his
bread, he gave more time and effort than was required, and demanded
less than he had a right to receive. Justice: because, in
demanding that others work, he was forbidding them to demand mercy
from the church and insisting that they earn their food.

Now when should we do which? How do you know when to love with
mercy and when to love with justice? Three
guidelines:

Know your personality well and be vigilant not to indulge your
bent carelessly. If you are naturally merciful, consider
justice seriously. If you are naturally judicial, consider
mercy seriously. We are very likely to indulge our natural bent at
the expense of love.

The more personal and private a matter is, the more likely
surrendering rights will be the loving way. But the more
communal and public a matter is, the more likely demanding
rights will be the loving way. The reason for this is that, in
public, demanding rights can be seen as a way of caring for others,
not just yourself; but in private a demanded right will almost
surely communicate self-aggrandizement, and a failure to treasure
Christ above all.

Be sure in either case—loving with mercy, or loving with
justice—that your burden is the greatest good for the
greatest number. That is, seek to help the greatest number enjoy
making much of Christ forever.

Learning with you how to live as an exile,

Pastor John

John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books.

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