(Finishing just this year, our branch underwent a three-year-long, multi-million dollar renovation. It was much needed as the original building was from the 1970s and no longer met building safety codes. We have received nothing but compliments on the updates until…)

Woman #1: “Oh, my god! This is horrible!”

Woman #2: “Isn’t it?”

Woman #1: “Why is it so bright? Where are the dark corners for me to hide? Where’s the history? There’s no history here! I want my exposed brick! I want the busts back on the tables! Where are the busts?”

Coworker:*to me* “Have we ever had busts on the table?”

Me: “Not that I’m aware of.”

Woman #1: “My taxes are not paying for this! This is awful!”

(Woman #1 storms out with Woman #2. Neither actually looked at the books.)

(We sell hot drinks in takeaway cups. We serve them without sugar, and direct customers to the end of the counter where they can add it if they wish. My colleague has just served a woman her coffee:)

Colleague: “Okay, that’s your latte there. Sugar is at the end of the counter if you need it. Enjoy your movie.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(The customer takes the drink, and goes to the end of the counter, where she puts her cup on an uneven pile of napkins. When she then takes the lid off, the cup tips, and covers the counter and the customer. At this point, my colleague goes over to help clean up.)

Colleague: “Don’t worry. We will get this cleaned up, and I will get you another coffee.”

(After he gets the coffee, the customer asks for a supervisor.)

Customer: “I think you should take responsibility for this accident. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault, but you should take responsibility.”

Supervisor: “We should take responsibility for you placing your drink on the napkins instead of the counter, and then spilling it on yourself?”

(I work in the photo processing department of a large retailer. A customer comes in and starts thumbing through the 2×2″ square frames suitable for passport photos, etc. displayed on the processing counter.)

Customer:*abruptly* “Excuse me, can you print photos at this size?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the smallest square size the printer will allow us to produce is 5×5″ – that paper is the smallest paper we have available.”

Customer: “Well, what good is that? This is ridiculous.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s disgusting; this is false and misleading advertising! How dare you stock a product if you won’t stock the supplementary parts!”

Me: “Using that same flawed logic, ma’am, you could argue that it’s false and misleading advertising insofar as we stock baby car-seats, but not cars – or babies!”