Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

GOOD POINT

With reference to the story about the group urging people in Las Vegas to practice sexual abstinence, Tom Mould points out that the message may be a tad late for at least one of the people seen in the photograph.

June 28, 2003

PRODUCTIVITY UPDATE UPDATE

In reference to the time-management application this blog linked to yesterday, Russ Fletcher offers this tip to productive professionals:

Try "slinging" the attackers.� In other words, use your mouse like you are casting a fishing rod.� You can sling the guys off the screen.� My personal best was slinging one WAYY off the screen.� A few seconds later he landed on the BACK side of the castle with a splat.� It was great!

This kind of innovative thinking is exactly why America leads the danged world in every danged thing.

ATTENTION, MEN OF THE KINGMAN, ARIZONA, AREA

PRODUCTIVITY ALERT

Hardworking office professionals are finding they can definitely improve their time-management skills using this application. For maximum productivity, pick up the little attacking guys with your mouse pointer and hold them up as high as you can before you release them. When they hit the ground, you will get a satisfying and productive splat.

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND SENTENCED AFTER INVESTIGATORS SECRETLY RECORD HIM SINGING ABOUT A PLAN TO STEAL AMMUNITION FROM THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT

June 26, 2003

A MOMENT OF QUIET REFLECTION

Too often, we get caught up in worrying about things like international tension and the state of the economy, and we forget about the things that are really important, not only to each of us as individuals, but also to the human race as a whole, such as the fact that today this blog got 1786.

ONE MORE TRY

We are having Technical Difficulties with this post, but we will attempt one more time to alert you collectors out there that you can purchase a photograph of Ed Brown, model-rocket technician, for just $1,000, or $5,000 signed. This kind of a deal comes along once in a lifetime, at most.

ANOTHER SITE THAT GUYS WILL BE DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY CLICK ON

UNCHARACTERISTIC MOMENT OF ACTUAL SINCERITY

James Lileks, a friend and a terrific writer, has had a setback. As he recounts in his journal, his wife lost her job. So, does anybody out there need an attorney? Here's James' description:

Three years Department of Justice in DC, eight years Assistant Attorney General for the State of Minnesota. Smart as they come, rigorous and diligent, astonishingly hardworking, and a you-can-turn-the-world-on-with-your-smile smile that makes Mary Tyler Moore look like exhibit A at a dental convention’s “Crones and Gingivitis” seminar.

UH-oh

They have totally changed the way Blogger works, and this blog frankly does not know how to post items under the new system. One thing is certain, though: This blog will not be clicking on "Help," because this blog is a guy. "Death Before Clicking on Help," that is the guy motto.