Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tonight marks one of the most special nights in my pregnancy so far. (apology in advance for being more sappy than amusing at the moment)

I've been really wanting Nick to feel Cade kick for awhile now. When he's tried it's like just at that moment that the baby has settled into a comfy spot and doesn't need to move around. With all my cleaning around the house tonight, I finally just showered and laid down on the couch with Nick. I gave Cade a silent lecture and said a little prayer that tonight would be Nick's night to feel him move. We were watching a movie (Hancock-- I'll recommend it), so I put his hand on my belly and told him "Wait for it"... he got his feelings hurt when there were no kicks in like 20 seconds. But something made him put his hand back on my belly and he felt 3 kicks in a row. We both could feel them.

He was so excited, and yes, quasi-grossed out I think (even though we know the gender, we still get freaked out by the alien child living in me). But after the second and third kicks he was in love. I managed not to cry and ruin the movie, but for a moment we just held each other as tight as we could, and it just felt perfect. Just the three of us.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I woke up at 3am starving this morning, and the hunger hasn't waned since. My morning snackfest started at 10:00am and consisted of 3 bottles of water, a bag of mini-muffins, Chex Mix (traditionale flavores por favor!), and a clementine. 10 minutes after the last snack I ate my lunch: chicken pot pie, applesauce, chocolate swirl Snack Pack, and more Chex Mix. So much for only needing an additional 300 calories a day!

And now, for my lullaby request. I am taking suggestions of lullabies that I will compile into a mix CD for Cade. And yes, this will be on a playlist so I can practice singing to myself via ipod. This most genius idea struck me today as I had my sixth snack of the day watching Ellen. Bette Midler, one of those idols I sometimes forget to worship, was on today. She had a pink bling ukelele and sang Glory of Love. What a great song! I so imagine I could rock a ukelele.

So your mission is to send me (via comment to this blog) your recommendations for my lullaby mix tape for my Cade. These can be songs your parents sang to you, songs you sing to your child, or songs that you think would make me look cool in the eyes of my newborn.

Anyways, the lyrics of that Bette song are so sweet, I've posted them below for your singing pleasure. (And as I type I sing, and as I sing my dog stands on my shoulder....)

You've got to give a little, take a little,And let your poor heart break a little.That's the story of, that's the glory of love.You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,Until the clouds roll by a little.That's the story of, that's the glory of love.As long as there's the two of us,We've got the world and all its charms.And when the world is through with us,We've got each other's arms.You've got to win a little, lose a little,Yes, and always have the blues a little.That's the story of, that's the glory of love.That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

This week I have been feeling kicks every day!! It's so crazy because at first I didn't know if I was hungry or what, but according to the Babycenter.com baby's first flutters become kicks and nudges right around week 21, which is just where I'm at.

Nick asked me tonight what it feels like to be pregnant. My stomach feels stretched sometimes, some days it gets hard as a rock and that's usually when people start to say I look like I've gotten bigger. Even when I was first pregnant, it felt like I just had gas. Now it feels a little alien-ish, with movements and stretching feeling. If I lay down on my bed and look at my stomach I can see it pulsing sometimes. It's crazy looking!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

That would be me. Send a girl who's 20 weeks, 6 days pregnant into Hallmark with Celine Dion's Silent Night playing in the background into the Hallmark "thinking of you" section and you'll get tears. Guaranteed. The odds were stacked against me.

And every sweet little card with a little sweet black and white photo of a child got me going. I could have spend $300 on cards today, that's how many touched my heart to the core. Oh, include all the cute Baby's First Christmas ornaments I saw... There's the sweetest one, I think it was Piglet and Pooh with a tiny unopened gift in the snow. The message was totally precious, like "the best things come in small packages". Everything was presh (that would be Hil-speak for precious, or should I spell that "prec'"?)

I just have to cry when I think about how awesome next Christmas will be with my little baby. I literally tear up when I see the candy cane striped onesies OR the adorable reindeer fleece snowsuit. As if we need that in 70 degree Dallas Christmas weather. Oh, and when I think about baby's Christmas pictures... so many options, and I'm going to have to make the child do them all. Get tangled in a web of Christmas lights? Yes. Be stuffed into a red stocking? Yes. Wear the same little Santa suit I wore when I was a baby? Abso-f'in-lutely! Wear a reindeer snowsuit posing in a forest? Why not? You can't go wrong. Oh, and the kid MUST go see the Northpark mall Santa. He's the best. In fact, I'm certain I can dig up the pic Alex and I have with him. In our little candy cane 80's turtlenecks to boot. Niiiice.

Allright kids, tomorrow I'll post the baby's gender. Gotta tell my girls at school before throwing that out into cyberspace. :) Stay tuned!

Monday, November 17, 2008

We found out the sex of the baby today!! All day I was so anxious and excited, just like the feeling I had when I woke up on my wedding day. You know something great is about to happen, but you don't know how it's going to go down. You just know it's going to be one of the most special days of your life.

I left school and drove straight to Presby to meet Nick and our moms. Of course, Nick had on a blue shirt and I had on my pink shoes. I had made up a game in my head as I got in my car. The last child I see before I go into the exam room will be the gender of our child. At the bottom of the elevator bank we ran into a couple who had 5 little boys. The boy who got into the elevator with us was a wild man. When we got off the elevator I was like, well that's it. It's a boy. We turn the corner and as we walk down the hall to the dr office we see a little girl standing by herself. hmm, a girl! Of course, we get to go right into the exam room and have to wait five minutes or so for the sonographer to come in. We decided to have our moms wait in the waiting room so we could find out the sex first and then call them in.

The doctor had told us that she would do the whole sonogram first and then show us the gender at the end. So we would pay attention to the vital organs and development first, and not be too excited to focus. As soon as she put the machine on my belly we saw this image of the baby, and I saw it's a boy. Wow, that's it, it's my child, my baby boy!!! I was amazed and I felt smart. Yes, it was pretty clear it was a penis as the sonogram was projected on a 72" plasma tv! But still, I felt smart. So the doctor says "Oh, I could tell you the gender right now", and I just said "It's a boy!" She said yes, Virginia, there is a penis.

Nick was so excited, we just grabbed each other hands and squeezed and couldn't let go. We both were just smiling like idiots and tilting our heads at the tv screen as she moved the ultrasound around my belly. It was amazing. Our moms came in and we were a mix of emotions. Tears, smiles, laughs. Then she let us hear the heartbeat as we watched our son on the tv. It was such a phenomenal feeling to see him and know it's our boy and hear her calling out measurements with confidence and reassurance that everything was developing normally.

She did think maybe we could bump up the due date because he's a big boy. 83rd percentile in weight, baby! Mom then let the room know that I was a whopping 9 lb 3 oz, and the doctor said "Nevermind, April 1st should be right on then". As soon as I found out it's a boy I knew the April 1st date had to stick. After all those old wives tales told us it was a girl, so the fact that we're having a boy, I know this is our kid. Of course he'd be pranking us in utero. Karma!!

As soon as I can scan in the pics, I'll post them. I'm in love already. Waking up in the middle of night hasn't been so bad now that I can go look at the baby pictures. I already see some of Nick's features in those black and white pictures. Mom says my head was just that big round shape when she had the ultrasound of me. He's beautiful already, I can't wait to meet him!

Friday, November 14, 2008

I mean, Jesus, I'm no Thanksgiving turkey. Do they make something special to prevent this? Is there at least a handy little cover that, um, smoothes it down? Like belly button Spanx? I'm seriously going to feel like such a freak. Some things are just wrong. SO glad I don't have a belly piercing.

AND this convo is making me miss my old stomach. I'm too vain to have a child, no? Gonna go lather up the Mustella.

OH, and to the jerk who thought it was appropriate to stand within my 5 inch personal space radius whilst in the line at Subway, I hate you. So does my banana baby (it's that long this week, hence the name). For real though, back up off it! You're sandwiching me in between your fat belly in your cheap suit and bad Trump hair, and the lady in front of me who conveniently is paying for 4 subs with separate checks. I know my girls are considerably big and perky these days, but gander down south about 4 inches and you'll notice I'm carrying the miracle of life. I'm certain the Virgin Mary didn't get ogled and nearly groped by your fat fingers as you gestured across me to the tomatoes you wanted. As if the Subway people were confused about WHICH tomatoes your meatball sub needed. Punk.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Everyone says dreams during pregnancy are so much more strange, surreal, and that you can really sense things as if you're really experiencing them. I've always been a big dreamer, always remember my dreams even years after I've had them. For example, I remember a dream I had frequently in elementary school. (At Missy's tree fort, climbed up to the top and then fell down, and I always woke myself up with the big thud sensation. My whole body literally jumps as if I did hit an impact -- ask Nick)

So my first baby dream before I was pregnant convinced me I should never have a baby. I had a kid for 2 weeks and then I realized I had never ever changed its diaper or given it a bath. How do you forget that? I was so disturbed.

Anyways, my first baby dream after I found out I was pregnant I was at Thunderbird Roller Rink. I was so excited because I was having a baby. Then they called my name over at the skate counter and Baby Chloe was ready. I rolled over there and picked her up and she was beautiful! I was so excited! And when I woke up I wondered if it meant I was having a girl. Some people have smart ESP dreams, but I don't know if that works what with all the crazy horomones and all. Hell, I sobbed at the CMA's last night!

So my next baby dream after that was that I had a miscarriage and I reached into the toilet (gross, I know) and pulled out my little bloody baby. It was actually the little plastic baby that they put in King's Cake (the nasty Mardi Gras tradition, whoever finds the baby "wins" and has a good year). I thought "Oh cool, NOT a miscarriage, we're good". Again, WTF with the dreams? You think I'm just having crazy dreams because I'm preg? Try again my friend. I'm the girl who totally related to the psychotic dreams in the Cell. I'm like "how the hell did they know I've dreamed that?" Anywaysss....

Since then no more baby dreams. As for sexy dreams, I meet so many sexy guys in my dream. And (early on in marriage) I used to be all Anti-Dream-Cheating. Now that I'm 2.5 years in, I'm kinda like "what the hell" about it. But I don't allow anything past 2nd base in my dreams. I'm such a dream prude. Like, "No thanks man, I'm pregnant" and "What would the fetus think?"

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I keep getting asked to detail the nature of my cravings... I find this odd, because I haven't had any more powerful cravings than I did before getting knocked up. I've always been that girl who gets hit about once or twice a week with a craving I absolutely must satisfy.

I'm nowhere near as obnoxious as I thought I would be... Nick hasn't had to do any late night food runs, I haven't had to unleash the Exorcist head spinning to score some Cheetos. Overall, on a psycho-scale of 1-10, 10 being the height of crazy, I'd rate myself around a 2. Crazy crying horomones, suprisingly, not so much.

All this food talk makes me hungry for some #6 with frozen yogurt. Gotta go take care of that, the kid's hongry!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

For whatever reason, I managed to find the only doctor in the Metroplex that waits until 20 weeks for the first sonogram. At first I was totally cool with missing out on the uh, "internal" sonogram tool, but now, damnit, I want my peanut picture!!!

I always just did the standard "Ooh Ahh" when I saw a sonogram pic. Really I could unplug my tv cable and see the same thing, it's just black and white fuzz to me. Things change when you've got this life inside you, and your emotions are all over the place. Sometimes I feel so connected to this little life, and other times I'm certain I'm just a part of a big science experiment, growing this little alien child. I've totally reached the point where I'm just so excited to meet this little baby person (and I refuse to call the baby "it", so I'm stuck with words like "little baby person"). I have nine days until we find out if we're having a boy or a girl... the suspense is killing me!

I have reserves of love just waiting to ooze out all over as soon as I can imagine my child more specifically. Also, I'm a planner.

I need to know the gender to determine some very important things:a. nursery decor (duh)b. pick a name!!c. should I imagine her first shiny black tap shoes or his muddy black cleats?

These are the things I'm honestly thinking about, I've gotta know NOW! I've been on so many pregnancy websites taking online tests to determine if we've got a boy or a girl... Lots of the tests say girl, but now people look at my belly and say "Boy". Who to believe? I'm just so excited, it's like seeing all your presents under the tree and waiting for a year before you get to open them. I can't wait!!!

Oh, and to those of you who ask "Do you just have a feeling you know what it is? What do you think you're having?" I don't know, my gut feeling changes from day to day! I hate being wrong... I wish I could keep up the front that I am THAT connected on a deeper level to my child that I know what it is before the dr tells me. I'm not that cool.

We ate dinner at Cheddar's last night, and as I was in the bathroom I asked fate to give me a clue to the gender. I said to myself, Okay- if this song says the word "love" then it's a girl. All of the sudden, I notice the blue paint on the walls and the song mentions being blue, IT'S A BOY! Then the song proceeds to say "I love, love you"... IT's A GIRL?? I get these mixed messages all the time. Nothing to go on, right? Here I am, in the place where I met my husband, the father of my child, and no dice.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Let me just lay it out there. I'm a pregnant girl with only 5 more months to go, and I'm stressing. While labor freaks me out, I'm actually concerned about bringing the kid home. I want to be the sweet, nurturing little mama who can sing endless lullabies to her baby. So, being the good Capricorn I am, I decided to start practicing in the shower. I kept starting lullabies and stopping after like 2 verses b/c I can't remember the words. I can even hum some tunes, but then I realize I have no clue what the first word even is. For example, "hush little baby don't you cry, mama's gonna... sing you a... lullaby?.....um" I can recite nursery rhymes all day long, but this lullaby business has me stumped. I decide that I don't really need to know traditional lullabies, maybe some cool classic songs would work. And I came up with two. Two songs that I know ALL the words to. And these 2 songs are: The Star Spangled Banner and Ice, Ice, Baby. I tried putting Vanilla's lyrics to a sweeter tune, but then I realize "wax a chump like a candle, dance" just can't be removed from the original beats. Gotta respect the artist, you know? And,I want a patriotic kid as much as the next Joe, but talking about bombs (aka "rockets red glare") isn't entirely appropriate for someone whose age is measured in months, not even years yet. Guess I should worry about calcium allotments and prenatal yoga instead.