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Monday, October 20, 2014

I don't know how is it with you, my dear lady readers, but the first day of my menstrual cycles is inescapably always EPIC! Point by point, although the order doesn't really matter - all these happen in sequence and often simultaneously:

1. My sex hormones go into overdrive; it takes about as long as for my eyelids to lift when I wake up on the morning of the first day, to go from your normal hormonal levels to "How'ya doing there, cowboy?" (using my best sassy tone here)! (Un)luckily, the object of my unashamed hormones and I both work and/or are surrounded by our kids when the craziness hits :)
2. I. Must. Have. Chocolate. Now! A lot of it! And whoever speaks ill of it, I shall strike them with my mighty glower and mouth full of chocolate, chewing fiercely! I would try to add growling for more dramatic effect, but I am afraid of any chocolate escaping my mouth. That would be unbearable! No chocolate left behind!
3. No focus. Absolutely none! ...Except for... you know... that thing (Re-read point number one). And chocolate :) And they say teenagers have a narrow focus. Ha!
4. I have crazy amount of energy! Work, mommy duties, multitasking, house work, you name it - bring it on!
5. Unpredictable mood. If I am in a good mood on that particular day - lucky are all the people around me, but if not - run for cover. Good mood means my kids will be allowed extra chocolate and ice-cream, and the girls and I will be dancing to teenage pop, and my son and I will be watching an adventure-filled PG-13 movie after that. Bad mood means my kids quietly go to their bedroom, close the door and do whatever it takes to take themselves off my radar. My baby is the only one whose happiness doesn't depend on my mood, because he is still a baby. There is this "safety mechanism" that I believe all moms possess in their brains when it comes to babies. I think it has to do with their absolute cuteness :) And then I spend the next day feeling guilty and apologizing. Lucky for all of us, bad-mood first days don't happen often :)