cosmetics The 14 Most Bizarre Beauty Treatments Women Have Ever Used

Emily Dickinson once said "Beauty is not caused. It (simply) is." Well, that may be true, but it won't stop us from feverishly seeking out the next magic wonder for halting the speeding bullet of aging. Where today we are slaves to Botox and silicone, the ladies of yester-year resorted to some truly brain-cringing practices. What's scarier is that most of these traditions/practices somehow still exist today...somewhere.

What are the strangest beauty treatments women have used? There are some bizarre ones on this list, so if you're into that type of thing and are experimental, take a look at this

Photo: via Wikimedia

Human Foreskin Face Cream - America

In 2015, Oprah put the power of her name and endorsement behind a SkinMedica anti-wrinkle cream with a very interesting special ingredient: human foreskins from circumcised infants. According to advertisements, Oprah calls the SkinMedica cream a “magic fountain of youth and miracle wrinkle solution.” Which makes sense, since the company uses babies' foreskin fibroblast as a culture to grow other skin or cells.

But not everyone was happy about mogul's miracle cream. Members of the uncomfortably-named Foreskin Awareness Project protested Oprah's endorsement of the penis skin harvesting. “Imagine how Oprah would respond if a skin cream for men went on the market that was made from parts of the genitalia of little girls,” said their founder, Glen Callender. “That would be an outrage and rightly so.”

Bird's Dropping Facials - Japan

We're always looking for the best facials we can get. I've spent hundreds (I hope, at this point) on things like this, but this kind of takes it to an extreme.

Smearing your visage with nightingale excrement sounds about as fun as, well, getting pooped on by a flock of seagulls. The aptly named Uguisu no fun, a Japanese powder made from songbird feces, was used by 18th century geishas and kabuki actors to wipe the heavy white makeup off their faces. Don't pooh-pooh the doo-doo just yet, however. Rich in the amino acid guanine, the rarified droppings are said to impart a soft, porcelain-white mien, but it'll cost you. At Shizuka New York Day Spa, for instance, a 50-minute facial will run you $180. We don't suggest you try this at home, since the droppings have to be sterilized to remove toxins and then ground into a fine powder. So back away from Polly and shop online instead.

But apparently this "bathroom facial" is not a new trend and it looks like it's one that's here to stay, introducing the pee facial. It's pretty self explanatory and honestly I don't even want to talk about it.

Snail Slime Cream - Chile

The next time you step on a snail, stop to ponder the potential costs of a face-lift, and then ask yourself if you would just as easily run over your plastic surgeon.

Yes, we are always looking for solutions like this one to get the perfect skin. But do snails hold the answer? And is it a quick answer (I'm sorry, I had to go for that joke).

The mucus secreted by land snails has a powerful antioxidant, which protects them from an atmosphere full of oxygen radicals– it also cushions the road as they forage across the sidewalk, so naturally if it works for them, it must work for us.

Snail serum has been clinically proven to help maintain the skin as well as improve cell function. Additionally, it helps avoid excess or abnormal scarring, including acne scarring, counteracting sun damage and preventing premature skin aging and wrinkles.

It also accelerates the renewal of damaged tissues. And you thought they were only good for French appetizers and sidewalk art.

Ground Pig Placenta - Japan

If you missed Sex Ed 101 (or, if you're not a woman), placenta is tissue that grows inside of women when they are pregnant.

It serves to nourish and protect the fetus, and is pushed out after the fetus during what is called the "afterbirth." It's slimy, slippery, bloody and full of fluids. Who would think to keep such a thing? (Matthew McConaughey, for one) The desire for youth and beauty can be a strong one, which is why in Japan, people are lining up to drink ground pig placenta. Like menstrual blood, placentas are full of vitamins, nutrients and minerals– everything that an egg or baby feeds on, pre-Gerber. Personally, I prefer my Centrum 1-A-Day, but for the brave, a 30-milliliter bottle will run you $8.50 USD or 1,000 yen in Tokyo. Not a bad price, actually.

The Japanese believe it gives them energy and revitalizes their youth. While taking a Red Bull may give you the same experience, this (at least) only has 1 ingredient. May I suggest sucking some lime afterward?

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