The Sorcerer and the White Snake (2013)

The Sorcerer and the White Snake are two of my favorite bands, and they’re coming together for this movie about kicking ass and taking names.

Was there a band called “The Sorcerer?” I know White Snake was a band. Tawney Kitaen danced on the car and all that. Whatever, they kicked ass.

Also, this film has nothing to do with those bands. I just like talking about incoherent shit.

So, The Sorcerer and the White Snake is ACTUALLY about a wise sorcerer who has to fight demons who are very snakelike. They’re bad guys I suppose. This sorcerer, played by Jet Li, has to save the life of a herbalist who fell in love with one of the demons. Not sure why, except that with that snakey tongue she no doubt gave good head.

The film is based on an ancient Chinese legend, but it has pretty good looking special effects, so I think it’s like the Chinese version of 300, but with less Gerard Butler, so it’s twice as awesome.

The Sorcerer and the White Snake

I love that there’s no writer for The Sorcerer and the White Snake. It’s like having a film about the Bible and listing God as the playwright.

Siu-Tung Ching IS credited with directing the film though, so clearly the Chinese god needs a little help getting his vision to the big screen.

What’s Good About It?

Jet Li doesn’t make a ton of great movies, but most of his films are at least watchable, and that should help The Sorcerer and the White Snake a decent film.

What’s Bad About It?

Well, like I said, Jet Li doesn’t really make a lot of really great films, and this one is about an ancient Chinese legend. Meh.

Our Clever Prediction

Even the filmmakers don’t have much faith in The Sorcerer and the White Snake, as it is barely going to theaters and will be mostly an On Demand film. Nonetheless, the trailer is nice enough looking, and having the legend behind it isn’t a bad thing.