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5 WAYS TO GET MORE HAPPY, LESS STRESSED & ENJOY LIFE MORE #NOTSORRY

January 6, 2016

2016, my year of enlightenment?

This week my friend sent me a Guardian article entitled ‘Drowning in commitments? It’s time to stop giving a damn‘, she sent it to me, because she thought of me. I read it, and I too saw myself in the feature. The article written by Sarah Knight is an extract from her book ‘The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k’ (which I immediately ordered), she wrote it because she found herself drowning in life, commitments, demands, others … And i have to say, I felt relieved to know that I wasn’t alone.

I started writing my tips features on mediamarmalade in honesty, as advice to myself, what I write is from the heart and more often than not i’m relieving my own tension, stresses and pressures by giving myself the advice I know I need to hear. It just so happened that clearly you too felt the same way more often than not, so could relate. Since I started my life, career, blog & photography tips they’ve become my most popular for you, and probably for me too.

I’m a driven person, I strive for success, to better myself, to grow, to do the best I can, to always deliver for myself, for my family, for my friends. To never let anyone down, including myself. That’s great in many ways, and one of the main reasons I have achieved so much in my career to date, but in other ways it’s concerning, always trying to do everything, with everyone. More often than not i’m juggling more in a day than is feasibly possible, I run a full time blog and have a full time career (and because i’m a control freak I won’t sacrifice either), I am known to be late (because I simply commit to too much), I wear myself down, and I feel like I let people down in turn. My mum is forever telling me to stop worrying about others and focus on myself sometimes, if people truly love you they will understand. She’s right. It just took a painful year to realise it.

So when I read Sarah Knights editorial at the end of 2015, I resonated with it, more than I thought I would, and perhaps more than she realised others would. And her theory’s made sense to me. Isn’t it about time we start to focus on our wellbeing, our own personal happiness and cutting out the things that don’t aid that? It isn’t necessarily about being selfish, in many ways it’s simply about taking a pressure off your shoulders and being more true to yourself … and in turn allowing you to focus your energies on the quality of your time, your effort and your enjoyment. Time spent on the projects you love, with the people you care for, and doing the things that make you happy.

Sarah Knight is Enlightened. And 2016 I hope is my year of enlightenment too (read the article to explain).

#NotSorry.

5 WAYS TO GET MORE HAPPY, LESS STRESSED & ENJOY LIFE MORE.

#NOTSORRY

Today i thought i’d share with you, inspired by my year passed and also the #NotSorry theory that Sarah Knight talks so candidly about, 5 simple ways that are sure to help you focus on your happiness, become less stressed, and generally just start enjoying life a little more, with just a little less pressure on your shoulders.

#1 LIFE KPI’S

I want to write a whole post on this very topic soon as it’s something I’ve really started to think about a lot, become quite interested in, and generally feel inspired by too. But in relation to living a happy and content life, firstly you need to think about what it is that you want. What it is that makes you happy. What is it that makes you feel content. What is it, overall, you want to feel, experience, do in your life? Having a really good think about what makes you happy is a really easy starting point to cutting out the bad stuff and getting more of the good stuff.

#2 CUT IT

Once you know what makes you happy, joyful, content, you’ll also start to understand the things that counter that. And you can probably quite easily identify the things that add pressure, stress or no enjoyment to your life too. In reality some of those things will be in your control. So why don’t you change those?

#3 STOP COMPARING

Why on earth do we all compare ourselves to others. I am terribly bad for it. I suppose in many ways we see it as a way to measure our success in life. But that’s just so totally wrong, and deep down we all know that. When I think about the moments I feel down, hard on myself, and negative, it’s usually because i’m comparing myself to others and in turn feel like i’m rubbish (to put it bluntly). But when I take a look at myself, my work, my life in isolation, actually I can start to see that I have lots to be proud of, to say well done for, and that for me, are my successes.

#4 DON’T OVER COMMIT

This is probably my one weakness. When I truly think about my life, my stresses, my pressures, in all honesty, most of them are because I over commit. In an effort to please people, to please myself, to please society, I say YES. Yes is great, it’s full of opportunity and chance. But sometimes, you need to learn when perhaps ‘Thank you, but not this time’ is actually the answer you really want to give. I don’t want to let anyone down, so I always try my hardest to do everything. But you know what, sometimes it’s too much.

#5 DO MORE

Do more of what you love. Do more of what makes you happy. Do more of what makes you feel content. Simple.

I’d love to know if you relate at all to this? Hear your own story & of course hear any advice or tips on the #NotSorry topic that you have?

December 27, 2017

August 9, 2017

Reader Interactions

7 Comments

I absolutely loved reading this, Melissa. You’ve really hit the nail on the head and I can completely relate to you – like you, I’ve got a full-time career and a blog and I want to achieve big things for myself so I don’t sacrifice anything. But I’ve also learnt that I need to be selfish sometimes and do things for myself – you come first and nothing will run right unless you’re OK. The book sounds brilliant so I might download it too!

Reading this post came at exactly the right moment for me .. I have soo much on my plate, different things, hobby’s, all time consuming .. On one hand it’s my own choice to do these things but on the other hand I feel so stuck having to do all those things when I’d rather focus on myself for once, take a long bath .. Thanks for giving me that nudge that maybe it’s time to clean up all those commitments and responsibilities to just the ones I really adore..

Great tips :) Stress is a huge downfall in so many people’s life, but it’s how we manage things that matter :) I think working on inner happiness and to be at peace is one of the best things you can do for your mind and body.

Hi!
My question doesn’t have anything to do with the post (although it was right on point!), but I was wondering if you could tip me of some great template-designers with affordable prices? I’m in a serious need of a new design!

I think this post is very relatable for a whole lot of people. Including me. The past few years I’ve felt the physical downside of simply doing too much. It makes you think about everything you say “yes” to and if you’re actually doing it for yourself or for somebody else. I try to make it a habit to think “is this going to make me happy (or will I feel miserable afterwards)?” Hope you’ll enjoy a happy-less-stressed year in 2016! Love, My Linh

If 2015 was anything, it was the year I was able to define what really makes me happy. I too have been a do everything, accept everything type of girl – which has been wonderful in that it’s helped me grow a strong network of mentors and allies – but it’s time to narrow that down to just what makes me happiest. I had several epiphanies in the later part of 2015, that have helped me define what really is important to me and what areas I want to focus on. It’s great to say yes and do everything for a while to help you learn what really matters, but it’s definitely not a way of living long term.