June 2016

November 08, 2007

Today's Editorial: Anger Builds Over Fact That Finnish YouTube Killer Has Cooler T-Shirt Than Us

Well, it's happened again. Another mass killing in a school, in Finland this time. After a murderous shooting spree like the one that occurred yesterday, it's de rigeur to ask how the killer got his hands on a gun. But you know what?

We don't care.

All what we want to know is where he scored the cool Humanity Is Overrated t-shirt. Jeepers, this guy's from Finland, where most people are walking around in clothing made of birch bark and sewn-together elk anuses, and he's still got way cooler threads than us.

Which leads us to wonder, what's he got to go on a killing spree for?

People simply have no sense of perspective anymore. This guy should have been grateful, what with owning not only the t-shirt and the cool gun but also the technology necessary to post his stupid video on YouTube, especially what with him being from a place with reindeer and shit. We don't have any of the three, and we're from the U.S., but you don't see us going on a killing spree. Why? Because we're not part of today's global "give me cool clothes and a gun and a video camera and I'll still kill everybody" culture.

We deplore mass killings by people who have cooler t-shirts than we do. It's bad enough they have to kill people, without rubbing our nose in our lack of even one cool message t-shirt, much less one as cool as some doofus from Finland has managed to get his paws on.

Comments

This makes me want to laugh and bash you for being disrespectful at the same time. Good work on finding humour in a bad situation, but I think it's a bit disrespectful. You won't find those dead people laughing at his t-shirt.

Humour is a good medicine, but tread cautiously as to where you dispense it. Even Mad magazine refrained from poking fun at 9/11.

Well, cynicism is the last resort of the desperate. Drugs and alcohol might giveyou relief for a short time, but in the end they will keep you away from the good things that still occasionally happen, like watching Larry Craig getting busted or the latest King Khan-record or getting laid by that witty and intelligent woman you are with, you know, with your penis getting sucked into her wet and hot pussy and her riding you real hard, her breasts bouncing on your chest and in your face and leaving you all battered and torn, covered with bites and bruises an sweat and sperm and still begging for more - well you know what I mean. What I wanted to say is: being a cynic doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's only a way to get along. Keep the faith, Mark.