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Monday, May 21, 2012

Blogging is sport = Hello Bali!

#1Hubby is considering playing football/cricket/golf/marbles again.

I am completely supportive in the most unsupportive possible way.

Why?

We are going to waste a small fortune (at least enough to have funded an iPad for yours truly) on brand spanking new sporting equipment. Because his old stuff is too old. It won't cut it in this modern age of unprofessional sports. Despite the fact that it is all exactly the same as the stuff he will purchase.

He will soon be struck down by a nasty injury, reminiscent of whichever major injury a professional sportsman is suffering at the time. Kind of like a sympathy attack, or injury by proxy. While #1Hubby's injury will be non-existent nothing like in comparison to said sporting Adonis, it will still render him unable to continue playing. And completely able to whine for Australia as he hobbles around the house in pain, too stoic to seek medical attention for his semi-faux injury.

Despite his totally non life threatening injury, he's already joined up and entrenched in the club, so he'll still be eligible to attend the annual club trip to Bali or wherever else groups of almost-middle-aged Aussie men congregate to drink cheap beer away from their wives and girlfriends, willing themselves to appear the 10 - 20 years younger they claim to be feeling.

I am going to have to slave away for hours to produce home made sausage rolls and pasties and profiteroles for 30 at least once a month when it's #1Hubby's turn to provide afternoon tea. It's a bit like an unspoken intra-club competition to see whose wife/girlfriend/superior half can out-cook, out-bake, out-cream cake the others. So I will have to literally work up a sweat over it all, rather than grab something from the shop, decant it into my Tupperware and claim it as my own.

And all of this will happen for one single reason : So #1Hubby has a legitimate reason to go to Bali without me.

How much longer must we do this before we justify a junket?

It's a pack mentality thing. The team are all inherently scared to ask their wives for a week off - let alone a week off to be spent away from their families. A week that will require saving and sacrificing by everyone, but will only be enjoyed by one family member.

This is where the sporting team comes into it. They have back up. Solidarity. Strength in numbers. Peer pressure. Call it what you will - no wife really wants to be the one who craps on their team bonding. No wife wants to be the one who keeps her poor, beaten down, broken spirited hubby on such a tight leash that she won't allow him one week away with his comrades.

And so here's my point. I know, it's taken me a long time to get to it, but here it is:

BLOGGING IS SPORT

I'm starting a team.

There will be no matches, no lycra, no physical exertion, no training, no producing impressive snacks.

We simply keep on blogging. But since we're an official team, we too require a team trip.

Time to bond in person, rather than just via Twitter and Facebook and blog commenting.

Who's up for a team trip to Bali?

In the interest of team bonding and camaraderie.

Swim up bar has free Wifi so that we may continue blogging while boozing. True story.