People Headlines

March 11, 2011

Real Housewives of Miami ratings real bad, but not the worst

Washington D.C. is thanking Miami for taking its place as Bravo's lowest rated of the Real Housewives franchise. Ratings for Tuesday night's third episode of the rightfully lambasted piece of tubular turd was an unimpressive 1.3 million viewers, but it was nine tenths of a point higher than the show's premiere (D.C. premiered to 1.6 million viewers), which, in a way, isn't so terrible considering the same mostly Miami residents and relatives of cast members (including, admittedly, yours truly, and only because the Herald is paying me to watch and Tweet my deep thoughts on this weapon of mass suck-tion) still stuck around to see if maybe, just maybe, things would improve. They didn't.

To put it into perspective, ratings for MTV's Teen Mom, airing on the same night at the same time, were 3.7 million. To be fair, RuPaul's Drag Race only had 0.483 million viewers (or, in laymen's terms, 483,000), so it's not the worst--numbers wise, that is. As for the recaps and the reviews--well, that's another story, one that's actually more amusing than the show itself. The good news for the cast and what will remain of the audience is that there are only three episodes to go. Our unsolicited advice to the ladies responsible for making The Real Housewives of D.C. seem like Masterpiece Theatre? Lay low, don't add it to your resumes, don't call yourselves "celebrities," and, treat it like some of your surgical, uh, enhancements---deny, deny, deny and just pretend it never happened, ok?