Crazy, Sexy, Cool and Geeky

Farhad Manjoo
06.20.01

When Jeff Gregory, one of the nine finalists in the Sexiest Geek Alive contest, was asked how he was preparing for Wednesday evening's pageant, he did a bit of the stand-up routine he'll perform during the "talent" portion.

In a kind-of-funny faux-comic voice: "So I'm newly single, and, I admit, I've tried out the whole Internet dating thing. And you know you're in trouble when you see a woman's listing and she says she's looking for someone who's IBM-compatible."

Gregory, perhaps a bit flummoxed by the dead-silence on the other end of the phone, then said, "Now, hopefully the real ones will be better. Much better. And these aren't supposed to be funny. They're geeky."

True, if a guy fills a five-minute stand-up routine with allusions to tech icons from emacs to iMacs, that's pretty geeky, right? And if he has the guts to do it in public, in front of a media corps that'll skewer him for his icky geekiness, that's sexy, too, right?

At least, that's what Gregory's banking on. On the plane from Charlotte, North Carolina, he'll also "study the history of the Internet" to prepare, but he says that he doesn't think there's any real way you could prepare for this contest: You're born geek or you aren't -- it is not learned.

The Sexiest Geek Alive contest began last year as "a 10-cent PR stunt to attract attention" for a failing dot-com, according to its founder, Steven Phenix. But overnight, it attracted much media attention and became a weirdly serious, somewhat-sought-after prize among the geekiest of America's geeks.

After Tony Northrop, a 27-year-old Boston geek, won last year's contest and became a very minor celebrity, this year's contest drew thousands of entrants. Through an online questionnaire and several regional competitions, they were whittled down to nine finalists -- four women and five men.

It's worth noting that although they're all tech savvy, some of the geek finalists are geekier than others.

Gregory, for example, says that though he has always been into gadgets -- "I've owned every model of Palm Pilot they've ever made" -- he is unique among the geeks because "I can put together a sentence without the use of an acronym."

"My role in life is taking geek-speak and turning it into language that people who buy products can certainly understand," he added. "I don't code languages or whatever."

Ryan Douthit, the editor of the Seattle-area Computer Source magazine, also emphasized that even though he is a geek, he knows how to be one with non-geeks. "I'm constantly obsessed with technology no matter what the discussion is -- basically I have a one-track mind," he said.

But he can "hide my geekdom if necessary, and in some business situations it becomes apparent that you need to. And I do have the ability to talk to the tech side of and the business side." But what about the element of sexiness associated with the contest?

For Douthit, that's easy. "It's all looks," he jokes, then adds: "I don't know. I think I'm good looking. And I'm willing to listen to other people, which is attractive. One thing that I notice with a lot of geeks is that they all have an agenda, and they're unwilling to listen to what others have to say."

Gregory said that he doesn't know if he is sexy, "but definitely 'put-together.'"

Now, that would be fine if this were the Most Put-Together Geek Alive, but it isn't, so perhaps he'll have some problems with that line. He, too, thinks he's good looking, by the way.

Ellen Spertus, a computer science professor at Mills College in Oakland, California, and another geek finalist, was putting the final touches on a video she's making for her talent portion. She's never done video production before, but it was a snap to learn. And she says it was fun using her new Firewire card.

To prove her sexiness to the judges, Spertus has come up with an argument. "I'm going to make an argument that sex is about reproduction, and I produce geeks -- I've taught dozens of people how to use computers. That makes me rather sexy," she said.

"I also have quite a costume -- it's sexy and it's geeky."

Editor's note: Farhad Manjoo, miffed that he wasn't selected as a finalist, is one of the judges in this year's contest. In his defense, he claims he didn't enter.