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Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Raise the praise

There have been many blog posts and news articles over the few years that I have been reading all there is about child development; they include whether or not to praise kids, how and when to praise them and what might happen if we get it wrong.

The blog that spoke to me the most this week was this one by Ghost Writer Mummy who shares openly that she's more than happy to raise Praise Junkies.

Then today the BBC Magazine published this article on two forms of praise and how they can affect a child's desire and motivation to try tasks and work hard.

I openly and enthusiastically praise Rachel for
helping and caring for people,
trying hard to read a tricky book,
winning a game,
loosing a game and coping well with the disapppointment,
calming down from a tantrum,
learning a new gym trick,
making me laugh,
and a million other things I can't think of right now.

I don't care if I create a praise junkie. Praising children for the things they achieve is extremely important; it teaches them that trying hard is worth it, that there is reward in working at something and that you as a parent appreciate them. Emotionally healthy adults come from supportive families, who praise.

And yes, I find the research discussed by the BBC fascinating and is something I try to manage. It is oh so easy to praise only for the success achievements, much harder to remember to praise for the trying hard; but I feel part of praising is about supporting our kids when they are disappointed in themselves, helping them know how well they did in their trying.

so what do you think?
do you praise, or not so much?
do you focus on achievements of effort?
I'd love to know.