(ALTERNATE TITLE: Bigger Things to Worry About than Whether or Not People Will Show Up to My Book Signing on Saturday, August 15th.)

First off, I must say I’ve had a great summer so far. Inspired by Seinfeld’s “Summer of George,” I decided it would be the Summer of Janene. I have made sure to incorporate something fun in each day and I’ve succeeded. However, there have still been a few things that have concerned me...

I'm concerned that my son might be a vampire. I’m guessing he got bitten right after finals in late May. Since school ended he's beenstaying in the basement all day. Sure, that’s where all of his video game systems are but he assures me there is no connection. That leads me to believe he is suddenly "allergic" to sunlight. There’s also the fact that he hasn’t combed his hair or shaved all summer—strong evidence that he can no longer see his reflection in the mirror. Plus last night I made spaghetti for dinner, which included garlic in the recipe. He "just didn't feel like eating." On a side note, an entire box of Cosmic Brownies is missing from our pantry. Let me know if you see it.

I'm concerned that the most upstanding and honorable literary character in the world is suddenly a racist. Yes, I’m talking about Atticus Finch of To Kill a Mockingbird. Like so many, I LOVE that book and love him, too, which makes me hesitant to read Go Set a Watchman. Word is Atticus is a racist. Atticus. A racist. WHAT?! I have this sneaking suspicion that if Harper Lee were dead, she’d be rolling in her grave. But she’s not dead. She still alive and, sadly, in declining health. She’s vulnerable. For decades she’s vowed never to publish again. I always thought it was because she hated the spotlight and didn’t want to go through the crazy hoopla that To Kill a Mockingbird brought her. Now I wonder if there was more. Maybe she kept the lid on Watchman because she wanted to protect Atticus. Watchman was the first draft of Mockingbird. It was a book which she carefully crafted and re-engineered into the great work we read today. And Atticus became an icon, someone we admired and loved. I wouldn’t be surprised if Harper Lee loved him, too. In fact, I can’t help wondering if people had been badgering her for years to publish Watchman, to which she kept saying “no.” Then finally, in her deteriorated state, she finally replied, “I like pudding!” and they construed that as a “yes.” It’s that thought that makes me leery of reading Go Set a Watchman. I don’t want how I feel about Atticus to change. I’m also not sure if Harper Lee would want how I feel to change either.

I'm concerned because I need to buy milk for my family but the kind I buy is right underneath the "k." With my luck, it'll commit suicide right as I reach for the 1%.

I’m concerned that I've reached level 500 in Candy Crush Saga. At first I was thrilled, then I did the math and was horrified. If I’d used the time more wisely, I might have cured cancer or solved world hunger. Okay, maybe not. But I bet my medicine cabinet would no longer be filled with expired Children’s Tylenol and old diaper rash cream circa 2004. Oh, who am I kidding? It still would but I might have been able to binge watch House of Cards without anyone the wiser.And finally…I’m concerned that no one will go to my book signing this Saturday, August 15th. Cross your fingers for me that people will show up at the Davenport Barnes & Noble from 1-3 PM. That's when me and my critique partner/author extraordinaire, Leslie Langtry, will be signing books. I hope I don't look like a fool. I’ll be signing books from my Light vs. Dark series while Leslie signs books from her hilarious Merry Wrath series. You know... you could help me by dropping by if you can. I’d love to see you, plus I’m sure I’ll have more concerns to share by then. If you can't, send me a hug. I'm going to need it. You could also go to the store and get me some milk. The kids will need it come breakfast time.

Weird Author

My name's Murphy, Janene Murphy, and I'm a weird mom.

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