Friday, October 3, 2014

My name is Bin Laden

I know if I take out the Twin Towers you will do something fantastically
stupid in response, such as bringing down Saddam Hussein, my arch-enemy. That
was so sweet, you did that! Have you noticed that now his military serves me?

My name is Omar Gaddafi. I know that if you witness the
terrible things I do to protestors against my tyranny you will implement a
no-fly zone or some-such and help bring me down. You Americans, you can't resist.
For you it's all about freedom v. tyranny, George Washington v. King George. LOL.
Check out what's left of Libya now

My name is ISIS. Oh god, if you only knew how much pleasure I
take in beheading you. No, not just for the sake of that aortal spurt. (Don't confuse
me with Quentin Tarantino). No,
it's the spectacularly stupid thing you predictably will do in response. (You
do. You most always do, in response, what with your military muscle, all those sets
and reps you do at the military gym.)

My name is Albert Einstein, and I wrote this:

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for
all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of
consistency.

My name is Harvey Blame. I hope Rand Paul gets the
Republican nomination for president. I won't vote for him, but then again, I might.