If you need this gift guide right now, you're probably fucked. Begin your journey having already accepted this fact, and the process will be easier. You are not going to find a good present, not for anyone, not now, and especially not after midnight. And after that point, you have but one steadfast friend with open… »12/24/11 2:10pm 12/24/11 2:10pm

We've reached the chewy peppermint center of the holiday season, and you still haven't gotten gifts for those last few people on your list. Don't worry! The solution might be as easy as sending a donation in their name to a kickass charity, and we've got your guide on how to do it. »12/22/11 1:20pm 12/22/11 1:20pm

Thinking of getting someone in your family a nice pair of slippers this Christmas? How bourgeois of you! If you were truly sophistiqué you would shell out nineteen American dollars for a pair of Restoration Hardware's "luxury plush foot duvets." Perhaps you cannot decide what to give that special person in your life… »12/19/11 7:00pm 12/19/11 7:00pm

I don't have any children (that I know of, heh) and very few of my close friends have kids, but I believe that children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Which means you want kids to be smart and interesting and creative and so on, and not just pawns in a corporate conglomerate chess game,… »12/15/11 12:30pm 12/15/11 12:30pm

With each passing holiday season, you get a little older until you wake up one Christmas morning trapped in the frozen clutches of your life partner, whose heart gave out sometime after you both fell asleep watching It's a Wonderful Life. If your nieces, nephews, kids, and grandkids spent years denying your old age… »12/14/11 6:00pm 12/14/11 6:00pm

It's time for the holidays and you have almost everybody on your list checked off except for that one picky friend with seemingly exquisite taste that changes as fast as the seasons do. You can't walk by a store-front window without her making some kind of comment about how "last season" that is or how the look of the… »12/13/11 3:40pm 12/13/11 3:40pm

It's tough to buy for the friend who has everything — but what about the friend who hates everything? Never fear: we have suggestions to help you melt your most curmudgeonly buddy's frozen, twisted heart — or at least help her revel in its twistedness. »12/12/11 5:30pm 12/12/11 5:30pm

There's something about the holidays that brings out the craftiness in people. Not sinister, mustache-twirling craftiness — we're talking homemade kind of crafty. Whether it's out of nostalgia, combatting the holiday commercialism, or just because winter is a good time for long (cr)afternoons gluing/sewing/welding… »12/09/11 4:30pm 12/09/11 4:30pm

While the holidays are a season of love and joy and giving and the such, they also entail a routine of obligation and decorum. And no matter how carefully you screen your calls and Facebook friend requests throughout the year, chances are at some point, you'll be stuck buying for someone who sucks. And here's how you… »12/08/11 1:15pm 12/08/11 1:15pm

We don't recommend breaking up with your significant other around the holidays. Don't break up with them right before Christmas, right after Christmas, and definitely not on the actual day of Christmas. The same goes for Hannukkah, Kwanzaa, and any other holiday you may be celebrating this December — including New… »12/06/11 2:35pm 12/06/11 2:35pm

Welcome to this year's Jezebel Gift Guide! I know we haven't been together that long — it's only Dec. 5, after all — but I just got you a little something. No really, it's nothing — unless you got me something really nice, in which case I thought long and hard before carefully selecting it. C'mon, open it! »12/05/11 1:10pm 12/05/11 1:10pm