Worried, nervous, anxious and scared

I’m pregnant, they think about 5-6 weeks (waiting for exact). It was a massive shock and very very not planned (on BC). Forgetting timing (getting married next year and not planning on having kids for another 2 years or so). I have medical issues that make it difficult.

And now I am worried sick, nervous and anxious and then more worried.

Around the age of 21 I was attacked – it was a vicious attack, ended up in hospital and needed more than one surgerys.

One of the areas affected by the attack was my uterus.

I was told then that if I ever wanted to TTC I would have to seek medical advice – about implantation, carrying to term all of it.

I spent yesterday at the hospital – I had countless blood tests and have a ultrasound (all they can see is the sac but it was also to look at me and how my uterus is doing.)

At the moment it is okay but at 5-6 weeks it isn’t under as much strain as it will be put under.

I have been told that I will have to have scans every week, I’m now on a load of meds.

Their plan is to get me to 12 weeks then rethink tactics to try to get me to 24-26 weeks.

SO is away with work so isn’t here.

I’m terrified.

So so much could go wrong

But there is also a little bit of me thinking that if I managed to conceive while on BC and then it managed to implant itself (when they said it was a high chance it would struggle) is impressive. And maybe if it can manage that it will cope.

But what if I can’t, or my body just can’t cope.

I have been told that any twinges or anything I have to go in straight away – I’m on very very close observation.

I don’t really know what I’m asking, but has anyone been here before (at least in some way) because I am so worried, frightened, nervous and so anxious.

Do not think about “what if”. You cannot prepare yourself for everything that may ever happen to you. You can only cross that bridge when you get there. You have gotten through so much before, have some faith in yourself. You’re stronger than you think you are. You can get through anything. If you’re going to think “what if” think “what if everything turns out okay?”

I’m very sorry you’re going through this while your SO is away. Is there someone else you can call to talk to? or call him?

You’ve come this far already so you’re body is doing a great job. The health care professionals will do everything they can to help you and there are things they can do to help you along. That’s great you have someone with you, try to lean on your brother for support. Take it easy and take the time now to take extra good care of yourself! Sending good thoughts your way.

@mallo: Shoot. Maybe a calling card? Either or, I’m glad you have someone close to you to talk about it. It’s going to sound lame, but actively tell yourself not to play “what if”. I’m so bad for ruminating. I hope everything turns out well for you 🙂

@mallo: I’m not sure if this will help. But my sister last year was trying to get pregnant and had a miscarriage rather late… about 4 months in. The baby stopped growing. It was honestly one of the most awful things I’ve witnessed. Anyways, they said it was due to her uterus being heart-shapped and also that she had a softball sized cist on her ovary. Well, she had to have surgery to remove the cist which ended up being a non-cancerous tumor. Here’s the kicker.

During this time. When she went under for surgery, was on tons of pain meds, etc. She was actually pregnant by about three weeks. They all said that she might need to prepare herself for another miscarriage, or that the baby might not make it full term.

While some doctors warnings need to be heeded, my sister went one week overdue and had to be induced. She gave birth to the most beautiful 8lb 0oz baby girl!

Miracles happen. Even when you don’t expect or want them to! Just keep taking it easy and enjoy the ride for as long as you can! 🙂

@mallo: I’m really very sorry for everything you have gone through, but it sounds like your doctors are very on top of your situation, which is a GOOD thing! Just keep faith in your ability to survive and know that the little bean growing in you is half you, with the same strength you have. For me, it is impossible not to play the “what if” game, but like previous posters said, always include “what if everything works out fine” in the scenarios. Just take the pregnancy one day at a time and be greatful that today, you are pregnant. You are right, it is miraculous that you were able to conceive while on BC and with your problems. Congratulations!