I called my parents to let them know; I’ve never heard a Congratulations sound angry before. Neither of them want me to go. The last time I left home for a prolonged period, my dad was arrested for OMVI/DUI/DWI the same day. He only recently got his license back.

I love my parents, but they always make me feel guilty about who I am and what I want to do. One minute they’re telling me I can do anything, and the next my mom is wondering why I’m still awake at 10:30, since “it’s past my bedtime,” and they’re trying to talk me out of everything from my career goals to the shirt I just bought. There has to be a balance somewhere between “listening to your opinion” and “I’m 20 freaking years old; I can handle myself.” I just have to find it, but it’s really hard.

Now I need to figure out how to pack for 4 months in winter. It was hard enough fitting all I needed for three months in summer into two suitcases. And I won’t even be able to buy books or clothes while I’m in Italy, because I doubt I’ll find a place that sells the former in English and I won’t be able to afford the later. All my spare money is going towards rail passes and hotel money so that on weekends my roommate (who is also going) and I will be able to go to other European cities.

Wish us luck on finding a college in the UK or Ireland. We’re both ready to get the hell out of Columbus, and now is just the time. Cross you fingers that my parents don’t hate me forever.