I know it’s May, and I should be talking about garden plantings… but I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I literally cannot seem to get into the garden to get it cleaned out so I can even attempt to plant because of all this rain we’ve been getting. As soon as it gets dry enough to try to get out there, it rains again! It seems like our spring is a bit delayed, so instead of traditionally planting on Mother’s Day weekend we’re going to be a week or more behind. Oh well.

In my attempt to be somewhat productive, I’ve been trying to (slowly) clean and re-organize and take inventory in the kitchen. Last night the Mr and I had a lovely date night away to Columbus, and while in the area I popped into Sur La Table, which I can never resist when I’m nearby. It’s fun to look at all the kitchen pretties and dream of a different kitchen decor, or all the things I’d make if I had the time and calories didn’t count, etc. I picked up a container of this Boos Block Board Cream to refresh my (very worn) cutting board and spoons. I’m afraid to say that I bought that cutting board years ago (like, when I was 18 and moved out on my own and had all these hopes and dreams about how fancy my life would be that I’d need a wood board for cheese and wine parties and such) and this is the first time I’ve done anything to it. The poor thing was so parched and dried out looking. But the difference that board cream makes is phenomenal! The wood glows beautifully now, though you can see all the abuse I put it through over the years. If I remember right, Alicia over at Posie Gets Cozy posted a recipe she used for some spoon oil, and I think I even bookmarked it with the idea that I’d order the ingredients to make my own… but who am I kidding? I’m a full time working mother who can barely manage to cook anything anymore – ain’t nobody got time for that.

Anyway. The new job is sucking the life out of me. It took me 4 days before I cried when I started, and Friday I thought I’d cry again. Bleh. Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely love being busy and having work to do. I love being closer to home. I love that I don’t spend my day surfing the internet and then wishing I could live somewhere where I don’t have internet access because I’m so fed up with my life being spent that way. Butttt it’s a lot of new stuff to learn and every time I feel like I’m getting the hang of something, I discover something new that throws a wrench into everything. It can be very defeating.

On the knitting front… I haven’t really completed anything in a while. I have projects I “nibble” on here and there, but my completion rate has stalled. I have a uniform at this new job, which means no wearing my hand knits to show off and I think that’s changed my willingness to spend hours knitting on a sweater. I mean, sure, I love wearing things I made – that’s a given – but I’m struggling with the concept of “enough.” When 5 days a week I’m wearing a work uniform, that leaves 2ish to wear my own clothes (ish because I can obviously change when I get home, but if I do that I’m either wearing gym clothes or PJs). If I only have a handful of days a week that I can wear those items, what’s the point in buying/making more when my closet is already full? I’m sure I’m probably being a little silly, and this uniform thing is probably more of a blessing than I realize since I’ve struggled with my minimalist ideals and the realities of trying to part ways with my wardrobe… but for now I want to kind of whine about it, haha.

Anyway, that’s about all I can think of so far. Life hasn’t been overly exciting, otherwise. Slogging through books. Attempting to keep the house clean. Trying to find a new normal with the routine change and the ever-evolving life with a toddler… so basically the same thing, just a different day. :)

In my ever-determined effort to get organized, I ordered myself an Erin Condren planner. I’ve had it less than a week, but so far I’m really digging it. Just having tasks written down to check off makes me feel like I’m getting things done more. Truth be told, though, I sometimes like to write down tasks I’ve already done just so I can check that box off for the day/week. :)

Since this planner I ordered is hourly, I’m trying to set aside an hour here and there to do things I want or need to do. If I block out 1 hour increments I know I’m making progress on a task, and I know I’m actually working on it rather than it being this task in the back of my mind that I know I should find time to do but can’t. Problem solved, mostly.

One of those back-of-my-mind tasks is digitizing/cataloging recipes from my grandma and great grandma. I have a LONG way to go before I have them all scanned and written up, but 5 recipes here and there at a time is still 5 more than nothing. I’m really loving discovering the recipes for things I remember great grandma making as well as new ones I’ve not had.

Making some of these recipes is going to have to be an item I schedule in my new fancy planner, otherwise I feel like I’m going to be digitizing these for nothing.

Tomorrow morning I’m taking what feels like my thousandth load of stuff to the Goodwill. Every trip the house gets a little bit lighter, and in turn I, myself, feel a bit lighter. But damn if I don’t hate how much stuff I have accumulated that’s even worth donating. I keep a folder on my Google Drive of “inspiration” homes – mostly, minimalist farmhouse style places – and find myself referring back to them when I find it difficult to make a decision on something. I really do feel like it gets easier the more I get rid of. And I’m finding myself questioning bringing anything new into the house – especially if it isn’t going to replace an item.

Travel, travel, travel: we’re trying to nail down some vacation plans but it’s proving stressful. Every time I throw out a location, the husband counters with another one. It’s very… annoying. I feel like we’re never going to settle on an idea (we’ve taken a proper vacation just once in nearly 10 years, so any arguments of “we can do that next year” don’t work so well, haha). This really shouldn’t be so complicated, should it? It isn’t like we’re up and moving and trying to settle on where – it’s just a vacation! Ugh!

Well, the holiday season has finally arrived. Our tree is up and while it still doesn’t totally feel very merry right now (to me), the tree is proof that it is, in fact, nearing Christmas.

We put up another little Fraser Fir tree today. There wasn’t the meltdown this year that happened last year. I did, in fact, debate on just putting up the fake tree and calling it done. But today we went out and we bought a little 4-5′ one, just like last year’s size, and brought it home. And, you know? I’m glad I did. The smell and feel of a real tree cannot even remotely compare to a fake. I’m not even bothering to put up the fake tree at all – we don’t need multiples, anyway. And that’s just more to clean up after the season is over.

I tried to keep it fairly toddler-friendly. I have a LOT of glass ornaments that the Little Mr would break. It’s fairly full considering all the non-breakables I do happen to have, but I wish I had more to fill the tree with. I don’t think I did a great job at lighting it – I’m still getting the hang of how to decorate a real tree. Artificial ones are so easy to just bend and move to put branches where you want them. But it is what it is, and nature is perfect in its imperfections so that means my tree is perfect, too.

I have more decorating to do, but I might do that a little at a time over the next week. I’m thankful that I’m not feeling like I was last year – that whole needing to do every little thing because it felt like I had to or the holidays would be ruined and the crying and meltdowns over the holidays not being perfect and whatnot. That said, I am heavily avoiding large portions of the internet this holiday season. Namely, all the holiday crafts. The last thing I need is to get sucked into that feeling again and it’s just best to avoid it all entirely for the sake of my mental health.

I love my house, I really do. I love the kitchen and the dining room. I love my new craft room. I love my back patio looking out into our messy, weed-filled garden. I love the crabapple tree we planted a few years ago, and I love my roses planted in honor of my grandmother. But I don’t love its location – the fact that we’re on a corner with no way to make our back yard feel more private, or the fact that we’re on a main (busy) street that is frequented with police and fire sirens as it’s the only direct road to wherever they need to go.

We’ve been “looking” at houses online, though we’ve only managed to actually walk through one so far. The other I really wanted to look at – a house on 4 acres – was under contract the 2nd day it was on the market. It’s like I’m reliving the house hunt we had 8 years ago. Houses within our price range are either trashed, or they’re foreclosures and get sold faster than it takes to get an agent to respond to me. It stresses me out, mostly because we don’t need to move. There’s nothing wrong with where we live, despite the things I dislike. We’re in a fantastic neighborhood and I’m close to a school so Declan will have plenty of kids to play with as he gets older. We’re on the edge of this gorgeous neighborhood with big houses and the whole thing feels park-like.

So my new mantra is this: “we’re fine where we are.” There’s no need to stress about places being sold before we can even contemplate it. There’s no need to rush. We’re fine where we are. If it takes us a year to find my next “dream” home, then so be it. We’re fine where we are. In the meantime, we can keep saving up money, keep paying off debt, and keep doing what we’re doing. Eventually the right house will come around. And, if not, eventually we’ll have enough saved to build my dream. One day, eventually, I’ll be able to wake up surrounded by nature with deer in my backyard. I’ll have my chickens to tend, eventually. Just not today. Not tomorrow. Probably not even next month. But we’re fine where we are in the meantime.

While this space isn’t fully done, I’m considering it done enough to share at the moment. Tuesday evening my sister very kindly helped me move that dresser and my grandma’s sewing table into the room, and I spent a good portion of Wednesday morning moving my craft supplies in. I apparently live in the land of delusion when it comes to my stuff. I originally thought everything would fit nicely into that dresser – and by everything I mean yarn, fabric, paint, etc. It seemed reasonable to think that all the things I had would fit cram into a few drawers of a dresser. Oh, the lies we tell ourselves.

Not even all my yarn fits into the drawers. That little mesh bin next to the dresser is currently playing host to my acrylics while I figure out something else. The fabric… well, it’s still downstairs. There’s still a bit of stuff to get rid of in the room’s closet so once that’s gone I’ll have to figure out another option. Hanging shelves on the rod in the closet? Plastic Rubbermaid drawers? I don’t even know. I can say that there isn’t a ton left to find a home for, at least. The bulk of it was definitely my yarn, and I think having it in these drawers will help me use up some of my stash since it’s more easily accessible versus buried in a bag in the closet. Someone on G+ suggested vacuum bags to compress the air out of the yarn and free up space, and I’m definitely not beyond trying that to make it all work. I’d purge more of it but at this point I’m feeling like everything that is left is stuff I want to keep and will use.

In other news, the stove is hooked up and works! And, wouldn’t you know it, I’m due for a serious grocery run so there isn’t really even anything to cook so I can use it! I fried eggs this morning for breakfast because it’s all I had, so tonight I’ll have to plan a grocery list and tomorrow start baking/cooking ALL the things again.

I have a few things to finish up cleaning-wise around the house this afternoon, and then tomorrow commences the Busy Weekend of Birthday Things. We’re going to attempt to do our own 1 year photos of the Little Mr, then there will be much cooking and last minute gift making (“if I start this now, I’ll have plenty of time to finish it before August,” I said in April) and party prepping, and then Saturday family will be arriving for what is looking to be a small party for the little one. Busy, busy, busy, this August is starting out to be!

Welcome

Pardon the garden. A phrase I’m most likely to utter anytime anyone visits the house during the growing seasons of spring through fall. Sure, there are pretty flowers and delicious veggies in there somewhere, but they might be a little hard to find amidst the mess of overgrown grass, dandelions, and weeds that have found their way in there and haven’t been pulled. Read On