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Wait, what? Be a train wreck sometimes?

I read a post today about how we limit our progress because we don’t try things. We don’t try because we’re “afraid of doing it wrong.” We let our “head get in the way”. I will often not push myself too hard on a workout because I don’t want to be the last one to finish. Or I don’t want to be the only one that couldn’t finish the workout. Or worse, I don’t want to be the one that threw up everywhere. I have definitely apologized for not being able to do a movement, a weight, or a run. “Sorry.” Sorry? For what? You just tried and failed? I’m PROUD of you!” It’s so counterculture, right? Who want’s to fail? It’s better to play it safe and just get by.

Don’t misread, I’m not saying go out and hurt yourself to prove a point that you can give it your all. You’re not going to win any points for that. But are there things in your life that we purposely stay away from – meeting new people, creating a blog, speaking up for yourself, speaking up at all, running, drawing, writing, you name it. Usually it sounds like, “I could never do/wear/be that.”

I can’t say that this issue of not trying is limited only to females as noted by the blogger, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am personally plagued by this. It’s not a new issue and it’s not confined to when I’m working out.

“Stop obsessing that your form is not perfect all the time. Do it badly, then do it better….Please. Be a train wreck sometimes.”

The obsessing – yeah I do that. My head gets in the way. It says to limit myself because I don’t want to look stupid. I don’t want people that I work out with to know that I’m deathly afraid of trying a handstand because I’m pretty sure I will look like some freakish cartoon character. Yes, I’m afraid of getting physically hurt, but I’m really more afraid of hurting my pride.

Or take this blog. I’m afraid my grammar won’t be perfect or that I will say something incredibly stupid – like complaining about spelling mistakes while having a million mistakes in my post. Or make some sort of biased comment that is ill-informed. On those days that fear makes me turn my computer off. Another perfect example is photography, I love it, but I get scared so I don’t snap the shot. I know. It’s crazy.

Of course this makes me think about the message am I sending to my daughter. How can I expect her to try something new when I find myself shying away from things that I’ve never done before? When she tells me she’s scared to meet new kids, how do I tell her to get over it, How can I expect her to be fearless (within reason of course, I’m not that bad)? Oh God, this is the part where I have to not take myself so seriously and let my pride be hurt. Not be a perfectionist. Do it Badly, then do it better. Crap.