welcome starship and phoenix! you are always more than welcome in this thread any time you need to vent, bitch, get some support or advice.

i felt like this thread was heaven-sent when i first found it. growing up, there was not a single girl around me who had breasts even remotely the same size as mine. everyone was at least two or three cups sizes bigger and i felt totally alienated. then i found BUST!! it is such an amazing, wonderful forum, it has literally changed my life. that being said, all three of you ladies should pop over into the 'newbies' thread and say hello. this is such a great forum to learn not only about body issues, but about sex, love, feminism, drugs, money, you name it!

starship- i totally understand what you're saying about it being a different sort of body part to be obsessed with. i think it's all relative in terms of the pain and insecurity we feel compared to women who think they are fat, or too skinny or whatever. but i DO think it's a totally different sort of body part because it is a)so overblown and overexposed in this society and b)often equated with femininity. we feel like we're lacking, as if we're not completely women. however, as an evolutionary biologist type-woman, i can say this: if large breasts were necessary or vital to our reproduction (and our level of attractiveness to men) then we would have been selected out 10,000 years ago. sure, in western countries, especially the united states, it may be the standard that is held, but there are plenty of cultures that either prefer smaller breasts or don't find breasts to be even remotely sexual. i think you posted a link to 007b.com, that is one of my favorite websites. my breasts are actually on there, though i couldn't tell you how to find me! tee-hee!

anyway, i think the breast insecurity is a bit more traumatic and problematic because it is something that cannot be fixed with diet and exercise, like other parts of our bodies. i think it goes both ways, if you go into the large breast support group thread you'll find women who are equally dissatisfied and uncomfortable for the exact opposite reason.

i love classical art for exactly those reasons, starship! the bodies actually look real, and there are plenty of a-cups represented!

vendetta- i feel your pain about having to reposition. in order to get much grab-action, i have to be on top or on my side. when i lay down, they just disappear! try getting on top next time the two of you are fooling around and use gravity to your advantage! sometimes guys don't realize when they are being insensitive jerks (i.e. the comment about taking five boxes of bc, sheesh!) but that isn't an excuse to let the behavior continue. i'm glad that you stood up for yourself and you also decided you had said your piece and it was time to move on. some of what you've said worries me a bit and i still agree with knorl that you might want to talk to some one (a professional, unbiased person) about your insecurity issues. i get the feeling that your breasts may only be the beginning and you've somehow channeled all your negativity into them. then again, you see yourself as confident and so does your boyfriend, so there must be that side of you. maybe you need to flush her back out again. like i said before, try and focus on the things about your body that you love.

also, about the porn. yeah, i understand how this can be frustrating too. it used to bother me, but now i've realized, for most normal, well-adjusted men, porn is just a fantasy. everyone daydreams, and i'm sure there are times you fantasize about being married to johnny depp and that he has an enormous dick and is obsessed with your breasts....maybe not that exact fantasy, but something similar. one of the inherent, inexorable qualities of a fantasy is that it's not real. at the end of the day, he's with you and he's not dating your chest, he's dating the entire package, from your cerebellum all the way down to your toes.

have you actually tried on a corset? i find they make my boobs like bigger because they get all smushed up. imagine keira knightley in pirates of the caribbean....just a thought.

i also wanted to clarify, that i was definitely not attacking you personally for using 'flat-chested.' i think i just had heard it enough times that it finally caused me to speak out. i love that there is no translation in portuguese! i wish i knew how to say anything in that language, let's see.....obrigada?! that's the best i can do!

stay strong ladies!

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"To lose everything at the edge of such a glorious eternity is far sweeter than to win by plodding through a cautious, painless, and featureless life."

I guess I've started a "rehab" lately. I've said all i needed to say to my boyfriend because i can't lie to him anymore and of course he noticed something's wrong. I kinda forced him to say he's sorry? I told him i couldn't forgive and forget unless he did that, and he did. I just reminded him some things he've said, even thought they were jokes. Like when he told me to take 5 boxes of that BC Pill when my breasts started growing. He said he didn't noticed how that kind of things could affect me because i was such a confident girl. He's right, i WAS. Drooling over something on someone else that i don't have myself... I think it's obvious that i would be affected. I guess he's just a man. He says he's nuts about my breasts and we did have a total cinema-drama moment that i regret so much like me crying my brains out while he was touching me. I was beging on my inside please love them, please touch them like if you loved them. People are weird huh? I believe him when he says he loves them but then i come to his computer and find this gorgeous huge-breasted girl masturbating on a video. And i know he'll never have such a hard on on me like i guess he has on that pair. And I keep this pervert fantasy that i would have him undressing my chest slowly while getting completely turned on. But he can't even take one breast out of the bra, cause the bra is bigger than the breast. And my breasts don't move, they're just stuck on my ribs. And even though i want him to touch them like a porn movie, i hate when he does. I hate when his hands are looking for them and i have to change position, put my arms together, stand up a little bit so that he can be able to grab something... But all i feel is him touching my bones. I feel unconfortable.I went to this sex shop near work at my lunchtime for the 13th time. I'm trying to forget about all of this and buy something sexy to dress to him. For the 13th, i just can't. I get in there looking for something and all i see is huge breasted girls posing on the lingerie boxes and i do know that kind of lingerie is made specially to flatter what i don't have. And when i imagine myself wearing those things, i run out of the shop. He once offered me this corset, he asked for the smallest number possible in the shop and i hate to see myself on it. Even the "smallest number" doesn't fit me. My breasts just disappear into that and there's this huge amount of air on their place.Once again, i just needed to speak out. Thank you for being there, Kisses

You're right, we're not flat-chested! I'm Portuguese, there's not even a translation for that in my language, it's just because that term is all over the internet. I'm sorry for using that word and yes we do have breasts.

Hi all! I feel a little stupid about this, but I'm glad I found someplace to talk about negative body image, especially regarding small boobs. Mine are small, and lately I've been really feeling like hell about it regardless of the fact that I KNOW that society's psychotic obsession with huge breasts is unrealistic and harmful to the female population. I'm tired of hating myself feeling either unattractive or invisible.

I love this thread so much! Ok, so it hasnt stopped me thinking the things i think or feeling the way i feel but it's nice to know there are other people out there who understand rather than tell me I'm being silly or that my body's fine. I've always disliked the idea of plastic surgery yet since resigning to the fact that my boobs just aren't going to grow anymore I feel myself wanting a boob job more and more. It's impossible to go one single day without having huge breasts thrust in your face (not literally of course). Just as I start to feel Ok about my body and think it isn't that important I'll be told by society that it is. TV, radio, magazines, internet, conversations, men, shops, advertizements- the sources are endless. I think it's slightly different from women who aren't happy with their legs/stomach/bum etc. I have other parts of my body I'm not happy with but none affect me like this does. It makes me feel depressed, inadequate, self-conscious, embarassed- to name just a few things. I saw some classical art last weekend and it made a nice change that the women's bodies seemed far more 'normal' than the ones we're used to seeing today. Their breasts were't large or perfect, their stomachs were'nt concave and they had normal hips. Perhaps if the images we saw today were more like this then we wouldn't all be here

i'm with knorl on every issue here. i never wanted boobs that were 'fake' i always wanted them to be naturally bigger. i was never hoping for a DD, good god, no thank you. i just wanted to be a b-cup, just a b?! i am heavier on the bottom as well and i've always longed to be more balanced out. especially as i've gained more weight and my tummy has gotten bigger i've been a little less satisfied with my chest.

i dated a breast-man too, and you wonder how the two of you could have gotten together in the first place! he never said anything about my breasts, but all he had to do was say, 'i'm a breast-man,' once and the insecurity was there in my head.

vendetta, thanks for sharing your story. i think it is therapeutic to get it all out, especially in an environment like this one, where we've all had similar experiences. i second the advice that all the other busties have given you and i sincerely hope that you can come a positive place about your breasts. there are so many other things in this world that have value! on days when i'm feeling sad about my breasts, i try to find a different feature of my body that i actually like alot, for me it's my mouth, or my ass, or my arms. i think, wow, somewhere out there is a girl wishing she had fuller lips (like mine) or a cup-able ass (like mine). the grass will always be greener and believe it or not, somewhere out there in the world is a girl or woman who would be very envious of many of your features.

i have days where i love them and days where i don't love them so much, but i stopped hating them a long time ago.

i am glad knorl said something about the word 'flat-chested' however.

i HATE that term. i don't like 'no-boobs' either. if you had no boobs, there would literally be nothing at all on your, chest, no nipples, no nothin'. you have boobs, i have boobs, everyone in this thread has them! just because they don't cast an enormous shadow does not mean they do not exist. and we are NOT flat-chested. say it with me ladies!!

i would honestly like to ban those terms from this forum forever. all they do is reinforce the negative images we have of ourselves and each other.

sorry for the rant, i'm not trying to single vendetta out for using that kind of language, but i've heard it alot in here and i'm sure i'm said those things myself. i just want to move away from that.

hugs for all my small-breasted hotties!!!!

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"To lose everything at the edge of such a glorious eternity is far sweeter than to win by plodding through a cautious, painless, and featureless life."

Hei there Knorl, i know that in the end i'll be just fine, i think i just had to hit the bottom since i've been freaking out about it the whole year. And the experience i had of having a bit of breast tissue was like stealing candy from a child. It was like, it's good, wasn't it? Now deal with it and give back all of those fancy things that don't fit you anymore! I'm a smart girl who was raised in good education and love and i feel ashamed enough of myself for feeling this way while there's so many real problems on another parts of my life. And so many good stuff happening at the same time as i'm studying photography as i was willing for and everything in my life is just getting better as time passes by. And i'm worried cause i don't have breasts? Go figure. It's just good to know i'm not alone in this. Did you ended up loving or just accepting yourself? It's a matter of time isn't it? I should focus on the good stuff in my life and appreciate, not hate, the beautiful breasts i photograph, even though they're not mine. Baci

aw dear vendetta. it is amazing how our relationships can have such a profound affect on our self esteem.. both positively and negatively. it sounds like although your bf doesnt intend it to be, it happens to be the latter for you. i guess i've always been very fortunate that the guys i date dont really care that i've got little to barely-there breast tissue. they've always dug me for other things, namely my character. but i'm not going to pretend that i havent (and still do) use pads and silicon gel inserts.. i've got booty and thighs and i have always wanted my figure to feel more balanced. the way you describe how you tend to feel about your body, reminds me of my deeper body issues which have reflected the same sentiments. i guess, with age, i've come to not pay attention to such things as much. the water bras are just a normal part of my drobe now, and for the most part, i'm ok with that. i've never really wanted fake boobs, stuck inside of me, so thats not been an option for me. i think i'm doing pretty well as i am. so i'm not perfect.. oh the fuck well.. you know. not many people can say they honestly think they are, and those who do, as far as i'm concerned arent very interesting people anyway. in conclusion. this all comes down to your values, what is important to you.. independent of what anyone else thinks.

You're both absolutely right in everything you say. I've been a self-confident person almost my entire life and have been pretty happy with my appearance. That is what's bothering me now, how can my self image change this much in just about a year and had started because of a guy? I have to stop blaming him just because he has preferences and forgive him for the things he've said cause he didn't mean harm. He's a caring and loving person and would do just about anything for me. I think it just has been easier to blame him for feeling this way than to accept that i'm having a problem myself. My breast stopped growing when i was 12 years old and i still wear the same size my first bra was. I've never been ashamed of that and allways tried to focus on my good things. I didn't love my breasts, i just didn't thought of them. It's like when you're asleep and then you wake up. One day i noticed that i really didn't had those things that i was becoming so conscious of. Suddenly I looked consciously at another woman's breasts and thought "My God, those are so beautiful, it must be awesome to feel feminine and powerful that way". And then looked at myself. And then took a good look at those ultra padded bras and those huge silicone pads i use to wear. And started thinking of all the times i had to run into the bathroom to take those thing off first, just to go back noticeably smaller. Or all the times i felt so unconfortable with my high-maintenance "cleavage" and kept hiding myself from everyone to put the bra and the pads on their place. And i felt ridiculous and ashame of myself. And then i took those things off and noticed that i really don't have any breast tissue. And that being this skinny-with-no-hips-and-no-boobs just didn't felt right. Everyone takes me for an 18 year old girl, yet i drive a car, i live alone, i pay for my own bills. I'm a woman and i want so hard to feel like one. But then, i know i don't need boobs to feel womanly. I shouldn't need. Everytime i undress and look in the mirror i try to tell myself that my boyish torso has nothing to do with being or not a woman. I'll never feel the power of a cleavage, i'll never feel the weight of a bosum and i'll never have my boyfriend drooling at my chest. I don't have money for a boob job. Maybe someday i wil, but it will take a lot of time to have that money considerating that i have another priorities. I'm never going to love my chest as there isn't any, i just have to go back in time when i just accepted that. But this time, trying not to stuff myself to death in pads. Thank you for your replies, i think it has helped me a lot just being able to talk to someone that feels or had felt the same way i do. Baci

Hi Ladies! I haven't been on in quite a while but I'm glad to see that you are all doing well.

Vendetta, I feel for you so much. Reading your story, I was transported back in time to a previous relationship. He was a breast guy, 100%. When he and I were together I absolutely hated the way I looked. I knew that he liked large chested women and I tortured myself with that fact. I would never let him see me with the lights on and always shied away from him touching my chest. I saw the way that he looked at large chested women and every time he did so I hated myself even more. When we had difficulty in the relationship I blamed it all on myself and convinced myself that every argument came down to me not being good enough for him. I seriously thought that if I had had larger breasts that our relationship would have worked.

Fast forward five years and here I am. Looking back I realize that if my small breasts weren't a big issue to him (as he assured me time and time again), I wouldn't have felt the way that I did. I, like you, have been in relationships with men where my breast size is a complete non-issue. So why is it different with this guy? Now, I am not in any way saying that he would be valid disliking your chest, nor am I saying that your insecurities are okay but the fact of the matter is this: A breast man is a breast man. He can't help what turns him on and maybe that's a sign that you should let him go be with someone who does. Any man who truly loved you for you would not need to be told not to ogle other women in front of you or make comments about their breasts. Especially when he knows how much it bothers you. Knorl is right about needing to talk to someone, but more importantly I think you need to examine your relationship. And as far as getting that boob job, I say that you should do what you feel is right but please talk to someone first. Who's to say that after you get a boob job that you won't fixate on another part of your body? Or that his comments about other women will stop? And if they do, why should you have to change yourself to fit his standard of beauty? Doesn't that bother you? Think about it: Would you want him top change the way he looks or do you love him just the way that he is? If you need to change the way that you look to satisfy him that is a conditional love. Maybe you're better off on your own and loving your self. Once you have gained love and respect for your own body, you will be able to distinguish those who really love the person that you are from those who love pieces of you.

Looking back now I realize that my low self esteem was what kept me in that relationship for so long trying continually to please him. Guess what? After me he dated a woman who was a DD and his eye was still wandering and to this day he has never been truly satisfied. Me? I love my self and am happily single. I am a beautiful, intelligent, unique individual and I will not settle for someone who is less than I deserve. My breasts are still an A cup, but if that's not good enough for some guy, then he isn't good enough for me. There are plenty of men out there who find small chested women beautiful, and more importantly, men who don't focus on physical aspects when choosing a mate. But honey, no one can love you until you love yourself.

vendetta: considering this aspect of whom you are constructs such a large part of your self esteem/perception, i would suggest you look into therapy. it is very upsetting to read that so much of your life is affected by your breast size. i would also like to point out that although you have a very negative opinion of your breasts, it would be respectful of other smaller breasted busties to refain from using such phrases as "flat chested". derogatory terms such as these carry very harmful connotations, and our intent here is to challenge the erroneous messages and labels we hear, not encourage them.if you continue to feel this low over your physical appearance, eventually you will push your boyfriend away. i dont know your boyfriend, but it's asking a lot of him to continue reassuring you that you are beautiful when you dont believe him. just imagine if he were painfully ashamed of his penis size, and constantly looked to you for reassurance that you find him attractive. after a while, after so much time of trying to convince him you find him appealing, you'd eventually move onto someone who didnt have so many hang ups. not because you dont love him, but because it is mentally and emotionally draining to have to maintain that role in a relationship.other busties may not agree with this bit of advice i'm about to give, but oh well. the way i see it is if you feel your happiness rests in how large or how small your breasts are.... get them done. if your self image is so deeply affected by the size of your breasts, change them. but if you feel you can be happy -or if you'd like to be happy - with your body as it is, work on loving and accepting yourself just as you are. that includes to stop telling yourself you are ugly, worthless, or otherwise inferior to women with larger breasts.

Allright, I just need to talk / write to someone, even if it's a small breast support group! I know that no one wants to listen to this crap, i've lost my best friend on past year and since then i feel like i'm gonna blow sometimes. I've allways had a flat-chest, like a 32 A or AA, i don't even know.. i just pop into a chinese store and get the smallest and more padded bra i find. I don't even dream going braless as i'd look boyish and ridiculous.I'm 23 years old and even though i always wanted to have breasts and faked them in all possible ways ever, i never really thought of it that seriously. Not until i started dating my actual boyfriend, for about a year. I know he loves me to death and likes my boobs and he wants me to believe there's really not a problem that i have them so small but.. He's a breast-man, he's obsessed about big boobs. He has never had a small-breasted girl before me as he says small breasts didn't attracted him. He even told me it was "funny" to be with me for the first time. I guess he can't imagine how it hurts to know that, yet i told him. At the begining i just felt jealous everytime a boobed girl passed by or when we were watching some movie. I'm bisexual so i am really atractted to girls too and never had problems talking sexually about one or another. I dated a guy for 3 years and we used to go to this fancy strip club and never even thought about my breasts with him. Now with this guy, i had to ask him not to comment about other girls as a respect for my feelings. I started an acne treatment about April this year (that worked perfectly) and the dermathologist changed my BC pill. After a month i went on a pregnancy test as my boobs were so full. Negative, thank god, it was just the pill. I think you can imagine my happiness, it seemed my whole life had changed. I started being able to wear a small cleavage (still with padded bras and silicone pads, but it worked!). They were pretty painful but i didn't care. My boyfriend started looking more at them and i was feeling really sexy. Even summer felt better. But then, they shrank. So i'm dealing with a flat-chest again and crying everytime i pick a sexy bra or t-shirt i impulsively bought at that time. Worst, i've lost all my dignity and have cried in front of my boyfriend almost everyday for the past week. He has been a bit patient as i can't ask him to be more comprehensive. Is his head, i believe he likes my breasts as he loves me for what i am and for the whole package, but in my head, he has never looked at them again as he used to on the BC pill. I'm depressed. Crying everyday for something like this, i call it depression.I dream about him getting turned on by just looking at my breasts, i dream about feeling womanly, i dream about having a cleavage and i dream about not wearing super padded bras and silicone pads just to feel and look normal. I am trying to get rid of those ridiculous bras but i just can't. Until then, i just cry.

hi ladies!i too often relate to the "almost cleavage". i havent' checked in here for awhile, but wanted to add a bit to what's being written here.

dj-biz: i have for most of my life so with you on the "i just want to know what it feels like" bit that you wrote. i finally got to know what it feels like because last year i had my first baby and decided to breastfeed. 24 hours after you give birth your breasts swell up big and hard. (yes i know!) and within a few weeks i couldn't believe that i, who has most of my life pretty much been a 34AA blew up to a 34b-c. after the initial few weeks, i lost my post baby stomach and i couldn't stop staring at my new big boobs! the weird thing is they were also big and firm like a boob job. the only thing is i was so busy with trying to feed baby with them that the last thing i was thinking about was how to showcase these things. also, i found out that women with boobs have to figure out what to do with them. once i was lying on my side and then i tried to roll onto my front and my boob got caught under my arm! i never learned to deal with these things....

anyways, i stopped breastfeeding about 2 months ago, and my boobies are pretty much exactly as they were before. i was glad to have gone there, but i wished i had kept a bit, like gone to a A cup! my husband said he's happy that the old me is back (he doesn't really care for large ones anyways) because many women, even tiny-boobed ones can get "mudflaps" after breastfeeding. oh dear, what's worse than tiny ones? tiny saggies, that's what. but i am glad to have experienced it, and strangely, i'm less enamored of having big ones than i ever have.

just my experience, and might not impact anything, but i feel sure that we're all so loaded up with the message of "if it's not all that important, why is it always so important?". i did experience it for a while, and never more have i ever felt that i wish i could have boobs only temporarily for those cleavage outfits. otherwise, they are pretty inconvenient.

if only we had H&M here in the dirty south! sigh. i've always thought that i was a 34A, and generally that size fits. i wish i could work up the courage to just have the old biddies at the department store measure me. though i don't necessarily trust them either (one lady gave me the up and down and said i was a 36B, what i wouldn't do to be a B-cup!!!).

i actually bought some cute bras from the hated and despised victoria's secret, but they are an italian brand. they had one kind that can be worn as a halter style as well, i love love love it.

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"To lose everything at the edge of such a glorious eternity is far sweeter than to win by plodding through a cautious, painless, and featureless life."

Dj, I just bought one at H&M- underwire, sheer lace cups, zero padding, in black (36A). However it's only for the week before my period because I'm not really an A cup any other time. I bought a 34A bra a little white ago and then realized that while the cups fit, the band size is too small and leaving serious marks on my skin. Which means I'm actually a 36AA, probably.

it totally freaks me out to see 'training' bras that are padded. i mean, my god, it's a training bra, it's for right at the beginning of your development. if you are wearing a training bra, you shouldn't be worried about the size of your breasts because you shouldn't even be concerned with being sexually attractive yet. sheesh!

i've said it before in here, but it makes me absolutely INSANO that i can't find an a-cup bra that isn't padded six way from sunday. one's with removeable pads are tolerable, i suppose. i'm not bashing all padded bras, but i would like to be able to make that choice for myself rather than be forced into by the manufacturer.

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"To lose everything at the edge of such a glorious eternity is far sweeter than to win by plodding through a cautious, painless, and featureless life."