Weekend Update - News Jokes

- Former President Obama unveiled plans this week for his Presidential Library in Chicago. Not to be outdone, President Trump released plans for his future library too <Photo of gowdy gold building with lighted sign “Trump Library and Casino”>

- This Saturday is Comic Book Day, a day where Dad’s take their boys to stores across the country to get a free comic book, or as they call it, male birth control <Photo of 20-something man reading a comic>

- A scientist at Georgia Institute of Technology studied 34 different mammals to come to the conclusion that we should spend just 12 seconds to take a poo, stating that a quick evacuation is key to survival in the wild because predators are attracted to the smell. <Photo of closed door and kids plugging their noses outside>. I got to tell you, it’s quite the opposite in my house. <Photo of Che on the toilet> I could be in there for days.

- United Airlines CEO Oscar Munez faced questioning in Congress this week about how airlines handle overbooked flights. Once he was finished, he was escorted from the room <photo of Munez being dragged out of office by Senators>​​- Congress budgeted 61 million dollars to reimburse local police and sheriffs for costs associated with protecting the first family when they travel outside of Washington DC. Considering news that comes out of Florida, 61 million seems like more than they spend in the entire state in one year.