Travel lets us love the way we want to

Without the baggage of being judged, says CNT Editor Divia Thani

I was 19 when I fell for a Greek guy who lived in New York City. He was incredibly smart and articulate, and despite my aversion to NYC at the time, convinced me one night to skip school, get on a bus from my college town and visit him for the weekend. It was one of the most exhilarating trips I had ever made: a fire broke out in his best friend’s restaurant so we spent a lot of our time helping restore the place; we went to a great Middle Eastern bar so I could practise belly dancing. We didn’t make a single proper plan (and not a single reservation), but ended up enjoying ourselves so much that I skipped class on Monday, too. It was the first time I explored the Lower East Side, a part of Manhattan I’d never seen before, and I fell in love with the neighbourhood. At the time, it still felt a little grungy and I loved how my new, impulsive, wild avatar felt right at home there. It was the first of my many affairs (with cities, that is, not Greek guys).

That’s the thing. In my mind, travel and love are intertwined. One of the things I’ve always enjoyed about travelling abroad with a partner is how comfortable it feels to hold their hand or kiss them in public—simple, universal signs of affection. But back home, in India, these small, harmless acts draw awkward glances. And this is especially so if your sexual preferences are considered ‘alternative.’ That awkward glance turns into a hostile stare at best; at worst, there is actual violence. I cannot imagine how stressful life can be for members of India’s LGBTQ+ community, who need to think twice about things we take for granted, like going on a holiday with a partner or checking into a hotel room together. For many couples, simple pleasures like these are denied.

Our June-July issue was traditionally our Honeymoon Special. But we realised that things are changing and couples take multiple holidays—long vacations and short breaks—throughout the year and their relationship, not just to celebrate a wedding. And there are so many different kinds of love to travel for: for a partner, for one’s family, for a pet, for oneself, for an idea. So, last year, we changed the theme to reflect and celebrate how deeply love and travel impact each other.

Our real reason for doing this is so that someday, we don’t have to have a day or month to celebrate something as basic as the right to love

Our real reason for doing this is so that someday, we don’t have to have a day or month to celebrate something as basic as the right to love

We are at such an important time in India, when so many brave members of the LGBTQ+ community are fighting battles that they should not have to fight in this day and age; they are demanding legal reform so that they can live with the dignity and rights they deserve, and we must all demonstrate our support and stand by their side, demanding equality for all. Our first Love & Travel LGBTQ+ Special showcased some beautiful essays and poetry by proud members of this community, such as Keshav Suri, Parmesh Shahani, Devdutt Pattanaik, Paromita Vohra and others. In all of these incredibly varied, moving stories of romance, travel, desire and discovery, the one thread that remains common is that while love in this community presents its own challenges, the relationships themselves are no different than others. They’re complicated, nuanced, glorious, heartbreaking, grey, passionate, boring, infuriating—sometimes, all at once.

But to be honest, our real reason for doing this was so that someday, we don’t have to have a day, week or month to celebrate something as basic as the right to love, anywhere in the world.