Small Pleasures Count as Big Ones in a Life of Chronic Pain

I have recently been reminded how different my life is from that of others. I’m still not used to it, after all these years. I have learned a great many valuable lessons along the way and will, with your permission share a few of those with you today…How much time do you have?

1. Small pleasures count. It’s okay to lick the spoon. You just shouldn’t double dip, but heck, if you made it, you get first choice…and second.
2. No one else is going to feel what you feel in your body nor are they capable of visiting it and knowing the pain, the spasms or the degree of it all.
3. You must forgive them for this; they can’t help it.
4. You can share knowledge, cooties, attitude, memories, etc. but you can’t share pain.
5. One feels a bit more freedom when one suffers. I’m not certain how it works but it is cathartic, like a large dose of Milk of Magnesia.6. When life slows down, or you’re down for a while, your vision is affected…
7. Small objects become larger as you notice a bug scurrying, a spider spinning and swinging, a crack in the ceiling and a curtain waving in the breeze.
8. Priorities completely change in a life with pain.
9. The dust can pile on a little thicker, that hair ball can grow a life of its own, a cobweb becomes your friend and the dirty floor is a reminder of what you ate or the dog did.
10. Things you didn’t have time to notice, previously, now become objects of beauty; a freckle of brown on your dog, a lick from a lonely pup, the purr in your cat’s throat as it quivers beneath your hand.
11. One day you realize you are different and it’s going to be okay. You may even learn to like the new you better than the old you.
12. If you’re walking has slowed, you’ll see far more, like the kite up above your head with a rainbow tail, the lady bug crossing the sidewalk or some jerk yelling in road rage. (And you won’t care about him but instead feel only pity as he rushes to get nowhere.)
13. Most of your relatives will never understand; and they’ll worry your problems might be lurking in their DNA.
14. The friends who call you more often, never judge you and truly listen are to be cherished. They are precious gifts. Any others are disposable until the next time something goes wrong in their own lives. Then the ball is in your court; to forgive or not forgive.
15. You find the little choices are important and you begin to wonder about the difference between big and little in their importance, their significance and their value in your life.
16. You discover if you talk too much about your “condition” you are the only one left in the room.
17. You find yourself contemplating words and values, long forgotten like “worth,” “cherish” and “valor.”
18. It is often a good idea to stand in front of a mirror and contemplate who you are. Are you a wife, a mother, a worker, a professional? Is your value one of bringing in money? Is being useful as important as self-discovery? If that is true, than some days your score will be your pain one, your usefulness, kaput.
19. Of course, doing things for others is important, loving matters as does giving, serving, etc. but it just might be about just being, might it not?
20. You may discover you are a precious soul, unique in all ways and the only one of you that will ever be. Find room away from your pain to rejoice in your individuality, your worth and the talents only you have been given. Try them out, enjoy them, and enjoy you and those around you. Put pain on the back burner and don’t let it win.

Well, my dear friends, the battle rages on. We are the soldiers, not the prize. We are the victors if we decide to be. Embrace all that is good and life affirming; reject the bad, the negative, because it will only drag you down. Choose life. Find your inner courage; I know it’s there. Now…go find it.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sue Falkner-Wood

Sue Falkner-Wood is a retired registered nurse living in Astoria, Ore., with her husband, who is also an R.N. Sue left nursing in 1990 due to chronic pain and other symptoms related to what was eventually...read more