Is it more important to see how the self operates by extending itself through problems and separation than feel the underlying emotions as they come up? It seems like emotions are always trying to come up to be realized, regardless of what people do about it.

It is easy to be fully aware of the self through conflict. We aren’t really aware of ourselves unless there is something contrary to what we believe. If we are just walking down the street, or out in nature somewhere, we won’t surface…until we introduce conflict. (Notice that I said that we introduce it. Regardless of the external circumstances, if there is conflict, the self is at the root of it.)

I know losing yourself happened in one dramatic instant, but did you feel that connection before even occasionally? Did you realize it was there?

I think I suspected that something was there, but it is hard to say. I did what so many other people do, which is follow others in order to gain something. Doing routines, following systems for attainment, and generally wasting time; trying to find something outside that is already inside.

If I can give any bit of advice it would be: Listen to everyone, but follow no one.

I have a friend who experiences that connection sometimes as well, she calls it pealing away layers, Can some people have just too many layers and need to work on that before all else?

The world of the self, is a world of fragmentation (or layers). If we go from fragment to fragment, we will be at it forever. We can find some temporary relief there, because when we see a fragment for what it is, it is gone for good. But it never ends, as the human mind is fragmented into eternity.

The end is seeing all of fragmentation; the whole thing. It might be hard to understand, but you see fragmentation, NOT the fragments. You see the whole process, as it moves the mind, and not the individual pieces. That might be of some help.