Jul 6 2013:
All of us are running into the inevitable problems of the need for much higher levels of schooling, training and travel from home to survive. At some point the effort and expense of constant back and forth travel to care for aging parents can become destructive to the survival of the care giver. Everyone has a breaking point. The demands of long distance care are well know to me. At some point the level of commitment rises above the level of the individuals physical emotional financial capabilities to sustain it. This has massive spillover affects throughout the economy, and society. IT is in the interest of the society to provide support in many forms not least financial to aid those caring for parents. Now especially in the US we are utterly and completely on our own. The cost in care giver illness, lost work productivity, loss of savings, even traffic accidents due to fatigue are passed directly to society and a hundred ways. Love is very powerful , but unfortunately doesn't necessarily conquer all. Parental care and parental visits and the associated costs should at very least be completely tax deductible.

Jul 6 2013:
Peter, from reading your contribution I detect that you have first hand knowledge of this situation.
I do too.

Yes, care giver illness is a big problem.

Not all parents age the same way.
Some elderly, who suffer from chronic diseases, are really in need of special attention.

Some of our parents do so much for us when we are children, and even into young adulthood, that, to turn our backs on them, and excuse ourselves from their lives seems.....inexcusable.

I don't know about where you live, but here in Florida, the sunshine state, we have so many elderly.
They are everywhere.

And we have so many choices in taking care of their needs. There are a lot of foreigners (women) who dedicate themselves to taking care of the elderly in their home.
This is a great relief to children who are of working age and are still raising a family themselves.

And there are adult living facilities as well........in all price ranges.

There are many choices. But perhaps, this is the case in large cities.
I'm not sure what it's like in rural areas.

Your idea of tax deductions sounds like something to consider.
Has there been any legislation on this at all?

Jul 18 2013:
Just my take on it. Personally, I think this particular law is ridiculous. This is a case of laws infringing into sphere of morality. In China historically, there has been 2 parallel strains of modes of governance: Legalism and Confucianism. Legalistic governance is the rule of law, while Confucian governance is governing through morality. Laws inherently carry coercive force behind it, and even if this law is enforceable, which I believe it is not, it will not make the children "love" or truly care for by heart their elderly parents. Since the cultural revolution, much of traditional Chinese culture had been abandoned for "scientific thinkings." Of course, nowadays there have been efforts to try to revive traditional Chinese culture that emphasized much on the concept of filial piety. Ultimately, this law in my opinion is also hilarious, another attempt by the Party to use the State to influence mass morality. Like the story I heard in China of this man getting arrested by police because he was watching porn by himself in his own home. To wrap up, I think this law is insignificant, but it reveals an overarching characteristic of the Party, reminiscent of the Chinese state in the past dynasties as well, to influence public morality using a top-down approach. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn't. During the cultural revolution it worked so well that the State was able to break down 5 millennia of Chinese moral structure by turning kids against parents, students against teachers, citizens against each other.

Jul 18 2013:
Taiyi, I am so grateful for your in-depth and well thought out reply.

You have brought further enlightenment into this most serious topic.

I had not really thought about this issue from the perspective of the state using this top-down approach, and how it had used it before to affect morality and Chinese culture. It seems very arrogant for a government to rule over people's hearts.

Our figurative heart is where the seed of our motivations is contained.
And giving it to a human organization...such as a political government, to do with it what they will, is just totally unwise.

Perhaps those Chinese who value love and compassion within their heart, not because of Legalism or Confucianism, but because of Humanism, will somehow help others to overcome all the detrimental effects of this terrible human government that has done much to harm your culture.

We humans need direction.
Morality is something that many talk about, and discuss, and even argue about.
But whose morality will we ultimately follow?

The question is still up for grabs.

I am thankful that I had the opportunity to exchange thoughts with you.
My name is Mary, I live in the United States, in Florida.
I am a mom and a teacher and a Christian. Nice to meet you!!

Jul 6 2013:
Mary M. This is a great topic.
Isn't it obvious that ALL Governments have a problem with over-reaching?

I have Great grandchildren, and soon they will have children, and life goes on.
My children and grandchildren all treat me with respect.
I try to use my age and experience to help them when I see it might help.
Sometimes they listen, sometimes not.

I wouldn't want them to feel obligated to return to the nest after they had left and
found their futures in far away lands. If they lived closer, I would be disappointed
if they did not visit now and then.
But that's all. Merely disappointed.

I would reject a government that says they must visit and care for me.

Our government has much to much to do these days. Making war, and letting
some manufacturers add appliances on our computers to monitor our every move.
Appliances that the user cannot even find or remove.
1984? all over again.

This whole situation is a very complex one.
I do not think there is a single solution, as families vary greatly, and what is good for one, might not be good for another.

But you cannot go wrong with loving and visiting your aging parents.

I find it inexcusable that adults turn their backs on the two humans who brought them into this world.
Of course, not all parents are perfect, and there are dysfunctional families, but overall, it is sad when a government has to make such a law......

Jul 6 2013:
There is a difference between being visiting your parents and being made legally responsible by the government for their care. Morally and ethically, families in general should do what they can to help each other survive. However, in a case where four parents are dependent on one couple for support, there may be insufficient family resources to cover the level of health health care deemed minimal by health care officials. So, do you bankrupt the current working generation? How about families that have a child to support in addition to four aging parents? Now you have potentially 7 people dependent on one income, or two if both parents work. This is a problem partially developed by a one child policy, so I think the state should be held partially responsible. It also seems reasonable that if the elderly worked their entire lives and supported he state, that there should have been provisions made by Chinese government planners to provide care for them in their retirement coupled to the one child law. The decision made about an acceptable level of suffering for the Chinese elderly is tied to these provisioning decisions and resourcing for them. Forcing children to come visit their parents sounds like a ploy to somehow emotionally leverage children to take responsibility for a planning oversight made by the state.

Taking care of the elderly everywhere should not be a question, it should be an accepted part of life. Families should not need to be told they should step up and do all they can to help their parents, but I do not think you can legislate or enforce a moral responsibility on those that choose to turn their backs on the problem. Ideally, workers should be made to plan for and pay for their own retirements during their working years. This should be regulated by the state. If there is an oversight, the state should protect the minimal needs of these people for survival just as they would any other person that was incapable of providing for themselves.

Jul 6 2013:
Mary,thank you for bringing out this in-depth conversation.As a Chinese point of view,this law is understandable,but the limit of its enforceability is self-evident.There is no specific red line,parents's flexibility and longing for care vary.

However,I can provide some pressing and deep cause of it coming to this situation.First,one child policy accounts for the cumbersome burden on every single young adult,no other sibling can give a hand to share the care.Some young couples have to carry four parents,from each side.Second,the increasing fierce competition throughout the society. Provided young employees have the impulse and need to come home to see parents,but the loss can be devastating,they might lose out to their competitor,losing a high-paying job.On the other side,their employers have compulsory obligation to give them an extra holiday,to be credible,employers have to survive also.Third,high travelling expense.Tickets,food,even hotel on the way back are unaffordable to some migrant worker,the truth is those who migrate to find a job,are mostly from poorer family. Also,there is a cultural transition ongoing, in traditional Chinese's eyes,filial piety is the foundation of all virtues,which props up the whole system of society and governance,as Confucius underlined it.But,after a 30-year opening up and rapid growth,the foundation of virtues changed,but we are confused and directionless on what might be the best replacement of filial piety.

There are definitely more causes,like the lack of education,people's sense of morals collapse when their brain is dominated by the pursuit of money.

I personally pretty supportive for this law.There is a flip side,when we are children,there are laws protect us more tightly than our parents,laws stipulate that our parent must meet their obligations as guardians.When we commit some crimes our parents are inevitably responsible because of their neglect.Our laws and morals drive everyone to care for the vulnerable.

Jul 7 2013:
Here are my answers,some of them might be my own understanding.

One child policy shouldn't be abolished in the near future,we can't afford population growing rapidly,which is already 1.3 billion.Candidly and historically,one child policy benefits China tremendously in the long term.I will let yourself to imagine live in a country where its population extremely excessive. One child policy is a successful move now,but it has to be swept in the end,state should let people decide on their own how many children they want.As time goes by,the expense of raising child rockets up,people receive more education,they tend to have less children than previous generations. Currently,there has been a great debate over the legitimacy of one child policy.

Let me give you some details that the phrase 'one child policy' can't provide. This policy is quite flexible among different people and places.In the region I live,

1.Families whose first child is a girl,they can legally have their second child.

2.The couple that both husband and wife come from one child family,they can have two children regardless of gender.

This policy is also flexible,to ethnic minorities,disabled people,they have more freedom than common people in choosing how many children to have.

I don't mind tell you, that I have a brother,seems illegal? But here I am,safe and legitimate. I have a friend,who has 5 siblings,I can't imagine,but his mother moved from place to place to give birth,in order to escape the authority and without being punished.His parents' goal was to have a boy, despite they had four girls bore previously.

Jul 7 2013:
'Are not employees allowed to sue employers for wrongful termination of employment?',since I have no knowledge about this case,I won't add any information so as not to mislead you.

Neighbors certainly will help when someone is in need,whereas the limit is obvious,that they can't expect their neighbors to play a child's role,they can't provide much emotionally and financially.The state has Basic Living Allowances,but only few of us are eligible to receive the allowance,in my village,all the old alone people who have no children receive it.

Sons and daughters,my knowledge,99% send money back,their basic obligation is to support their parent financially,but somewhere along the line,due to some cause,their performance deteriorate.However,as parents and children,blood is thicker than water,the bond is out there,which means emotional obligations are relatively more crucial than finance among families.Actually, the parents come to the stage of suing their children,they are in desperate need of tangible support,like money,food,daily life care,etc. But I believe what visiting parents often creates is the bond,emotion,love,that they also short for.

I think love is the ultimate principle,even filial piety is one of the forms of love. The question is love is so boundless and penetrating that we don't know where to start?I think if we pinpoint some smaller spirit maybe easier to practice. I see the educational system and principle really put patriotism upfront. I personally uphold the traditional principle filial piety,diligence,frugality,gratitude,and some fresh elements like equality and freedom.

I'm looking for the statistics,will give when I find.Here are links relate to this issue,you can google translate them,

Jul 6 2013:
I believe that government should not get involved. If people have to be forced to visit family, it would not be genuine. It would not be a relationship worth preserving.
I do think it is extremely sad though, that commited, loving parents are being forgotten in their later years.

Jul 7 2013:
No, it seems to happen in many countries. It looks like China at least acknowledges the problem and is trying to fix it. I think they are going about it the wrong way though. I feel that appealing to peoples compassion is a far better method than relying on a fear of punishment.

But perhaps, since they understand their people, maybe, just maybe, they are doing it this way because it will bring out feelings of shame, and so the people will act the way they know they should? Could it be some sort of psychological strategy?

Jul 18 2013:
How could Chinese parents sue their child, the only child? Most like it is because the child is abandoning them. Even you are doing this, you will not be punished if your father and mother do not sue you. The government just want to protect your parents when they think they need the protection.

Jul 8 2013:
I don't get it.
People the world over talk about how children are the future.
They say it is 100% unacceptable to abuse them in any way.
There are so many abused children in the world, everywhere.

So, let's not raise them with love. "Too much love" will ruin them.
What in the hell is "too much love"?
There is not enough love in the world to begin with.

To thine own self be true. This is something children should be taught.
But therein perhaps, lies the problem.
What are we teaching children?

In American it is mostly lies, about themselves, their country, their leaders, each other, others, and they do this
while raising them to believe in things that don't exist, like the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and God.

Perhaps the greatest thing that could be done worldwide, IMO, would be to remove or greatly lessen the stresses and pressures and outside forces that infringe upon and greatly degrade not only the parenting/family environments world wide, but also later, the child-into-adult living that is becoming more and more overwhelming and almost impossible to not only live up to, but just to show up in.

When I was young, children left home, not because they were looking forward to their own, possibly exciting lives, but mainly to get away from those people who were literally driving them crazy (into insanity). Their parents. Who in the world would want to visit them again? Parents mostly make their children neurotic by giving them their neurosis to carry on into the world.

There are many forces at play here and somehow I just don't accept it is caused by being an only child.
Not only do children look forward to getting away, so too, and often, do the parents look forward to children leaving, for good.

Unspoken feelings, are saturated in both parties, and affect them as such.
"In all the places we were hiding love, what was it, we were thinking of?"

A few months back I read a book called "The Girl of the Limberlost".
In it, the mother treats the daughter in a very harsh way.
As you progress in the story you learn what was at the root of the problem.

At the root of so much emotional turmoil........there is always a cause.
Get to the cause of the problems, and many times you can solve all the issues.

Getting at it is the big problem Random.......some people suffer when faced with truths, they prefer the lies.

Jul 8 2013:
Hi Mary.
Thanks for your comments.
From the time I have been on Ted, I have continued to say, "Americans worship lies."

Well, so do many other people in many other countries. If they didn't, the living conditions for most
of the world's population would not be so harsh, dangerous and deadly.

I have also repeatedly said, that getting at the cause is how to solve human problems,but most don't seem to think so, so, it is nice to see or hear from someone else like yourself who also knew this to begin with.

I thus assume, you are one of the few sane people in existence at this time.
We have too many pressures and stresses upon us to live in a relaxed, non-threatening and inclusive, loving way.

And those stresses and pressures are created and put on us, by those the majority trust and believe in. It's pretty sick but they cannot see it because everyone around them is sick just like them so all seems normal. Even the loss of their freedoms, homes, etc.

What you said is so true but now I fear most can not even spot or recognize the truth.

Jul 8 2013:
Lol,I think the same in the all over the world:people just adore lies,don't like to hear the facts,true things.if you mention about the truth ,they would feel u sound like a jeek:).

I keep staying in an english chatroom online to keep on english learning.People just like to hear good words,and most of them don't like to have a registered nicknames,maybe because they just don't want to take responsibility to what they do in the room,or some others' reasons?that's alright,but the worst thing is:some people changed their nickname this and another to send bad words to others,Lol,sometimes I couldn't help laughing:do they really want to be a man or sth?

Jul 8 2013:
So, the great experiment failed? It didn't take into consideration cultural change and outside influence within a short time frame? Right now from my view point which is highly speculative, she's ready to explode.

Jul 8 2013:
All through my childhood years and young adult years i have watched the western media paint china as the repressive political system, Tienanmen square to the reports of chinese watching their own people online. What we do in one timeframe sends waves through two generations until the third generation either let's it go or faces it.

Regardless of what people we are born from we are the same, mutant clones of each other and follow a basic program, it has always been this way until we started to question why and so for some it may feel we are progressing on an evolutionary scale but it is not so. because that theorem takes an inordinate amount of time.

Time, a founding generation find they quickly run out of and so by the third generation we have something different and so on and so on.

We have forgotten one of lifes unspoken rules.

Teach the young to work for nothing before they go out and work for something because nothing comes free.

Jul 8 2013:
A big problem in china is:young generations have quite different raising children's thoughts from their parents,and meanwhile grandparents spoil children too much...So one child policy makes the new generation consider themselves as centre more than before...it caused conflict between parents and children,because in the ancient of china:parents are sky and land.
As the world is getting open completely,so new generations learn a lot western countries'things,different cultures are on the way to get compromise...

Jul 8 2013:
Hi Dear Mary M.:)Amazing topic,Lol,thank you so much for the caring so much from you about china.
I heard about the law information from internet more than a few weeks ago in the morning.It shocked me a lot,then when I was my parents'home cooking lunch,I told my parents about the law,they despised it a lot.My mother said:what a stupid law,who made it?then we discussed a lot about it.
My parents said:blood thicker than water,what else love can be deepper than parents and children's?Can you evaluate it with any law?It isn't law's function to force people in this norm.we are humanbeing,we have hearts,love,passion...if we wanted a law to force children to go to see their parents,are we still humanbeing?Stupid,Too Stupid...
Anyway in China,most of chinese parents and children they are connected the most cloestest:some of them three or four generations live together,at least half of parents and children live together...hardly see parents complained their children treated them bad around me.
But because of one child policy,the old china relationship between children and parents has been changed a lot.Half of them if they have conditoin,they would like to live alone in their house,not living together with parents more,Especially sons,because mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is the most difficult to deal with...most of daughters when they have children,they would like to live together with her parents...And no matter son or daughter,when they have children,if their parents' health is good, parents always feel pleased to go to live together with their child...meanwhile can take care of their grandchildren...

Jul 8 2013:
Yes,I guessed the government is wanting to wake up some people before they actually take this cold attitude towards their parents.I have to say:it all caused by one child policy problem,it is just one of problems we will have to face:how to balance a happy relationship between parents and children...aging population is getting larger in china...how can next generation to support old people?....

Jul 7 2013:
I did give you my views on this on the other conversation page, remember?

And I forgot to mention an important point that caring for another depends on the others kindness and affection that he/she shows to one. If my grandparents or parents did not like me and did not care for me, I would actually not bother about them since social conventions don't bother me and I treat people the way they deserve to be treated not the way they want to be.
I sound rude and forgive me for that.

Jul 8 2013:
Simon, thank you for participating in this conversation.
Yes, I know your views very well.

And I think that you bring out an important point, that of kindness in adults.

Sadly not all parents and grandparents are loving. Some abuse children, and the children, once grown walk away from the relationships.

I don't think you sound rude. I think you brought out another side of the issue.

I think perhaps that at times adults act mean, because they themselves have never been loved, they suffer emotional scars, that they pass on to their children. In a family, if there is at least one member who has some kind of knowledge or insight into these kinds of human struggles, then they can serve as a conduit in helping the healing process.

Jul 7 2013:
Dear Mary,
I am not surprised at all. I think it is a cultural dictate in Asia. In India, old, ailing and not well off parents enjoy rights to receive care and financial support from adult children. In most Indian societies such cultural expectation is from the sons and not daughters (certainly not a married daughter). The law doesn't discriminate between sons and daughters though.
There had been court verdicts forcing unwilling children to take such responsibilities.
While this is an additional burden on people, I don't see it as much wrong particularly when many parents sacrifice heavily to help children make a good life financially.
This, however, does not ensure love for old parents. But the law cares less - the idea is support, not love.
Traditionally Indian families had been additive, that is, the concept of Hindu Undivided Family (HUF) (also Muslim families too) was to keep the adult sons living within the family even after marriage so that after a time a HUF would be like a league :) This is changing as more families are now 'nuclear' (parents and one child) but the old values die hard.
I think China, which is culturally close to India, must be having a similar experience.
It will be interesting to hear from someone from China of course.

Jul 11 2013:
These kinda happenings are very rare and not a daily happening.

In Bangalore, one of the most developed place in the country, an old citizen was kept like an animal. He was tied up on the roof,given food twice a day, given a bath,and left on the roof till night..when he was brought in. This does not happen everywhere and it rarely ever does and similarly, its like the old people having a great time in Pondicherry.

Incidents like these either keep our hopes up or diminish our faith in humanity.

But anyway, what we need to do for our own parents is clear enough and I'm pretty sire we all will do the right thing. And what better way to make others do the same for their parents than being a perfect example and a practitioner of what we are trying to say through this discussion.

Jul 7 2013:
I suppose this law would have to be understood in the context of Asian culture, where elderly are held so highly. The law might not make sense to we Americans because our values are different, or perhaps at this point we are taking adequate care of our elderly without this law. I would have to think we as Americans have laws that seem strange to people from other countries (for example, our death penalty, or our gun laws), but they work for the majority of Americans. Different culture.

Jul 7 2013:
4th. Commandment ..
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."
Good sound advice, as are the other 9.
My wife & I are in our early 60's. My Mum in Law is the sole survivor of her generation. We make sure she is ok without meddling, as we did for those past.
We have a grown daughter & son; plus a young lady, in her early thirties, who so missed having a mum & dad that she applied to join us. So now we are five.
We treat our children with respect & they reciprocate. I am certain that they will give us the required attention, as we have given them, in their time. We have done our best not to be a financial burden; but your best is all that one can do. Governments can fleece you of everything at anytime.
I think mutual respect is the key to this; governments should keep out, as you cannot legislate respect. It has to be earned. If I had never given my children a second thought, & drunk their dinner money, then I would have no right to expect their love when I needed it most. What goes around comes around.

Simon above gives us his 17 year old perspective on this. It is in harmony with what you say.

Like many other social issues, this issue is very complex, and there are many sides to it.
It is rather sad when people's lack of love and compassion makes front page news as a law passed by government officials.

How do you think the children of those parents feel? Ashamed? Do you think maybe that was the intention? To bring shame to them?

Jul 7 2013:
This is just my opinion, my personal experience. My father died when I was 5 years old. I watched him rot from cancer of the esophagus, on a bus drivers salary in 1960. There wasn't enough money in his measly pension death benefit to pay for a shoe shine. My mother's income for the entire year was $1400, a pittance even in 1960. MY three older brothers, were still at home but had to grow up pretty quick, as did we all. It tore our lives apart. My mother had to continue raising and guiding us with no help what so ever. She finished the job of getting us on our way in life with great courage. My brothers, and I cared for her for 3 years when she was diagnosed with cancer. I drove 200 miles every weekend on a salary that barely paid gas, and rent at the time. While trying to have lives of their own my brothers spent many thousands. IT was a huge drain on all of us. It was also a duty that we could not forsake. So if my comments on TED seem to be filled with anger, and contempt sometimes that's one of the many reasons why. A society that allows multi billionaires who gained most of their money through bribes, intimidation, fixed markets, and privileged tax deductions to rig the game, while the middle class and the poor get dirt, that is a sick society. I deeply respect, and honor people who work hard to get by get ahead. The ( 1%s ), "no", their sticking it to us big time ,and we all Americans are apparently to stupid to take them down off their high horses to live in reality like the rest of us. Government is neither good, nor bad, it's just a tool , a vehicle to be used by those who are smart enough to take control of it.

Jul 8 2013:
Peter, you were very gracious to share your heartwarming and poignant experience with us.
There are so many different points to think about when discussing elder care.
So many different circumstances in each of their lives.

What a blessing for your parents to have had you and your brother's love and compassion in their last days, as well as your self-sacrificing spirit.

I think, like you, many of us view our parents care as a duty we just cannot forsake.

Jul 7 2013:
I believe it has very much to do with Asian culture. The elderly are traditionally treaded extremely above the next generation. It's not about being right or wrong, its about strict respect to the elderly regardless if you disagree with what they say. It's overboard and extreme. Told to kiss a dog under the tail and you better do it if it means 7 years of good luck at the casinos (yep, I made this up but close enough). You simply do what you are told and don't ask any questions, a loyalty nightmare without any change.
... I personally lived with someone for 9 years in this culture. This is not a good law. How can forcing someone to care about you be in any form of emotional righteousness? Is it really about caring? Why would you want this in the first place? Money? :( yeah, yeah I believe this has much to do with it. It's never enough. I strongly believe money in this culture has great influences beyond emotions such as empathy, love, and kindness. Break the cycle, how can their government or any government support it?

Jul 7 2013:
I think that this is really the difference in culture and time. Several hundred years ago, almost all families with parents and grandparents lived with their children together even the children were adults and with jobs. Therefore,it's natural that the elderly parents expect their children to support them, or to care for them. In modern day western culture, it seems that the elderly parents have no rights to ask for assistance from their grown up children. Yet, like here in the U. S., because of the bad economic conditions, the grown up children are returning to their parents' house/home when they are in financial difficulties. Many people here don't even give it a thought, and believe that it is entirely normal. But is it fair that the parents are always the party to give and the children are always the party to receive with no reciprocity?
In ancient China, the neglect of elderly parents was treated as criminal, that's exactly how the decision made by the current courts is based upon. At that time, some of the "children" lived and were supported during their entire life by their 'parents" who could afford pay all their living expenses. At these times, the reciprocity was, of course, reasonable if the parents became too old and needed assistance. Of course the situation is different nowadays.
Currently, maybe this kind of decision would cause serious difficulties for some adult children, but I don't think there would be too much objections among the Chinese people to this court decision.
We must also understand that the pension or social security system does not yet cover most of the people in China. Anything resembles that started in the 1980's, so most elderly parents do not have money or assets for their later life. In addition, the emotional connection between the family members is certainly a very important component of such decisions. Even in modern China, they still consider the elderly (grand)parents as members of the families with their grandchildren.

Jul 8 2013:
Thank you for your response. Even though I am not a sociologist, I still think about the problem of the trend of the lives of the elderly here in the U. S. Even as early as 50 years ago, there were many elderly living alone in their houses or apartments There were quite a few cases that some elderly passed away in the houses and were not discovered by their neighbors several days or a week later. I certainly understand the difficulties of the parents-children relationship to maintain constant communication, as well as sometimes the parents would prefer to live alone even if they were invited to live closer to or with their children. Of course, the problem is not only about the undiscovered death, but also the day-to-day lack of social contact with their friends or relatives.
Since the problem of the aging of the population as a whole, I can see that the problem would increase in size and severity in the future.
I have posted a couple of TED discussions about a dual solution of alleviating the problem of the increase in the elderly population and the unemployment of employable adults with their families to live together in government sponsored condominiums with many automation and robotic care assistance to the elderly and managed by the adult family with children to form an extended large families so that the younger families would provide social services, with pay, to the elderly And also let the children to interact with the elderly resembling adopted grannies and adopted grandchildren. This would benefit both groups, because nowadays the children in many families are without companions or supervision after school from their working parents.
There are more details in several of my TED posts. You can click my name to find my recent post, if you are interested.
A footnote, My wife and I had visited our parents (mine in Taiwan and hers in Hongkong) every 3-5 years, with our children. Now, our children visit us once a year without our urging.

I think that there are so many diverse issues and circumstances surrounding the elderly.
It is not "one size fits all".

Some elderly never had children, others riddled with dementias that are not diagnosed, drive their family away. And then, there are the dysfunctional families, where there is drug abuse, alcohol abuse, molestations, domestic violence, emotional abuse, etc......

There are so very many circumstances. There are many programs in place to help the elderly in this country.

But the best help, the one whose motivation is love, can only come from those near and dear to us.

I love that you and your wife led by example.
Now you are seeing your own children show the same kindness to you.

Family is a beautiful thing.
Somewhere along the line, some never learned the definition of the word.
This is sad.

P.S. I have missionary friends who live in Taiwan. They love it there.

Jul 7 2013:
Mary, thank you. I feel as you do.
But there are many adults whose abilities to love do not extend to responsibility.

Example -- Maybe a bit off-topic.
I took a small apartment in the down-town area of our community, where I could
get to and fro only having to walk 2 blocks for my needs.

Within the apt complex there are several welfare adults who do not appear to have
the abilities needed to care for their parents in any way. None of them seem able
to express their parents in conversation. I never enquire, only note.
Most are on some medication. Many have been addicted to drugs in the past.

One new neighbor, buys and sells hard drugs from his apartment. His elderly mother
begged my friend, the landlord, to rent to him. She explained that her son was being
evicted and only had 2 days to find a new home. My friend, the landlord gave way,
and rented to him, provided the elderly mother would pay a premium deposit.

I had advised against renting to him. That was last month. This month I served him
with a 90 day notice to move. Since he is on a Housing Welfare he gets a 90 day delay
in eviction. Stupid law, in this case. I am considering notifying the Welfare Dept.
If his deportment becomes worse, I may need to do so.

Obviously an addicted drug user/dealer is nothing we all wanted in this complex.
His elderly mother has been notified, and refuses so far, to answer the landlord's calls.

My friend, the landlord let money buy us all a problem.
Such is what you find living down-town. Ugly.
But, only 2 blocks to walk anywhere.
Trade offs - Trade offs. Life is full of them.

Jul 9 2013:
Mary, thank you for your support.
I wrote another bit today on this conversation.
I hope it doesn't offend you.

I took the outlook of a Dead-beat Dad.
I have watched those circumstances and wanted
a platform to express my feelings.

I believe our family society in the US has changed and morphed into
something really different. ..It is a bit too early in the game to figure
out whether or not the changes are going to benefit us or not.

We do need to provide for our elderly parents in their time of need
because of failing health that comes with aging. But as you can see in
my prior dispatch about Dead-beat Dads, Government is intrusive when
trying to help one segment by the destruction of another segment.

I would relish your thoughts if after you read my prior dispatch you
might write me. Thank you Mary.