Friday, March 17, 2006

016 District Adventures

Quick! Bid to the 016th District. Crime! Mayhem! Men throwing their severed body parts at you! Reports from various sources are that last night, an individual (drunk) was involved in some sort of altercation, possibly a domestic, and when responding officers arrived, they found he had mutilated his own body and he threw his severed penis at them. The individual had to be TASERed twice before they could take him to the hospital.

Yes, we just typed the words "severed penis." If we had a sense of shame, we would be ashamed. Since we don't, we're looking to see what this "person of now indeterminate gender" was charged with:

battery, aggravated - other blunt object?

assault with a dead weapon?

Someone has to have something better than our meager offerings. Where is this case report - 016? Area 5? Scan it and e-mail it. And how do you live down being the officer(s) that some psycho dude threw a penis at?

UPDATE: Here is the Sun Times Story. They say "severed organ" and "penis" a number of times, so we must be like real journalists since we know the lingo.

Good to know you can still find authentic Polish sausage in Chicago these days. After Kalinowski Deli closed it's doors in Gladstone Park I've been forced to travel out to Mt. Prospect to buy the real thing!

I thought this might be the start of a trend until I thought of the aptly named "silence of the bosses" and the Fred Hampton Memorial Street sign. On second thought I'll bet Stanley on Berneice still has more dick than half of the exempt. And I understand this type of activity is considered sport in 023 (I don't mean the copper's you guys)!

I was there-This is what happened: Mayor Daley's nephew Eugene was drinking at the house, broke into the mayor's trophy cabinet, which just so happened to contain Uncle Phil's penis which had been removed when he was appointed Supt. When officers in 016 tried to arrest him they thought he said he was immune from arrest because he was a member of the superintendent's staff, but he actually said he was immune from arrest because he HAD the superintendents staff. A found property report was promptly ordered by several newly promoted meritorious sgts on their way home from a LAPA meeting who were eager to give their first order.

The real problem with this case is determining whether to charge him. Was it soft or hard? If it was soft, then could it cause serious bodily injury? If it was hard, could it have been a merely an active solicitation for a relationship?

Scan and email an official police report to everyone? SCC you are a fucking idiot!!! You are going get some poor schmuck brought up on charges of official misconduct for the unlawful dissemination of a police report just to serve your own selfish needs.

Don’t worry about what happened in 016. Take care of your own fucking business at home would be my advice. (You know what I mean).

Why do you say SCC is an idiot? You don't think this case report has been photocopied about a thousand times already and faxed everywhere? You want to know how many copies of various humorous case reports I've seen making the rounds of roll calls, posted on bulletin boards and found at the district desks?

And everyone knows NOTHING will happen to you as the Department (and everyone else) had PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of a certain Sergeant mugging for a camera at a certain plane crash and THOSE PHOTOS made it to the Superintendents desk. Nothing was done to her and she even got her first choice for assignment.

Go back to the Academy you three year wonder asshat and learn how the Department REALLY works.

i was just wondering exactly who recovered the "weapon", and how did they pick it up? and then who drove with it to the hospital to reassemble the member to the offender? did one the coppers from 016 have to ride in the ambulance with it to make sure it didnt escape? and did they inventory it before it went to the hospital to make sure not to break the chain of evidence?

c'mon dont tell me that all of you didnt think about this before.

;-)

...and was it circumcised....

ROFLMAO

when is the court day for this "dickhead" OH I MEANT "dickless" wonder, because i'd love to be in the peanut gallery when the officer takes the stand at the prelim....

that corey flagg shit is a never ending cluster fuck and sad to say is going to take down some more coppers before its over... but you know what i always say "FUCK EM!"

the city is going get themselves out of the lawsuit by saying that FLAGG and his rogue ass buddies were operating outside the color of the law and therefore we are not responsible for the liabilty of these goofs, if these families want any money back they better start seizing all the property the own, the dope delaing car wash in 003 is still going 24/7 why not start there...

And everyone knows NOTHING will happen to you as the Department (and everyone else) had PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of a certain Sergeant mugging for a camera at a certain plane crash and THOSE PHOTOS made it to the Superintendents desk. Nothing was done to her and she even got her first choice for assignment.______

WRONG! IAD is doing a CR on that very incident. Anyone who has ever had a CR knows the final outcome can sometimes take over a year!

After a verbal altercation with his girlfriend over the size of his penis, the offender ran down the street breaking vehicle windows with a shovel. Offender then ran into a neighbor's house, disrobed, then used a steak knife to sever his penis. While naked and holding his now severed penis, the offender then stood on the front porch throwing knives at responding officers. The offender was subsequently tazed and taken into custody. An extensive search recovered his penis and he is now at NorthWestern Hospital undergoing penile re-attachment. Detectives MCDONALD and WRONKOWSKI assigned.

What type of asshole shoots a naked crazy guy who cuts off his own dick?Throwing knives? Obviously the officers did not feel that threatened. Even though you may be legally justified in the use of deadly force, does that mean that you are required to use it?As for you 016th district bashers, go chase another rock in the ghetto! REAL POLICE MY ASS!Consider 016 Dept of Homeland security for those of us who live here!

New Years Eve is when we lost an outpost at Belmont/Harlem to the animal, the defeat and withdrawl was led by General Price who retreated with his bitch militia of 016 coppers.....Help us 025 coppers!!!!!

It's not fair to bash all the 016 coppers, there are some good guys like Bone, Walters and a few others that actually are not afraid to get there hands dirty. Now the bosses on teh other hand should be fired for not doing shit about that incident on New Years Eve. I even talked to a copper from 016 who was there and he said and I quote "we couldn't arrest them because they didn't do anything that we saw and there wasn't any gun that was found." My response was that there was shell casings which he agreed with at that point I just shook my head and walked away. All I can say is if you live up here buy yourself another gun cause you may need it unless you are lucky enough to have a few of the good coppers from 016 show up to help.

I agree with you. The stupid bitch has nothing better to do but find fault with everyone except herself. Can't you tell by the threads. You think, she would have better things to do than publish a case report.

She should worry about what's going in 8 instead of 16. Don't publish the case report. Didn't you get enough thrills from publishing the Sgt's picture.

What is funny when these “ghetto” district officers rip on 016 district coppers. Where the fuck do you think they just spent the last 10-15 years? Answer: IN THE GHETTO!!! The only difference between you and them is they got tired of dealing with the beast and had the intelligence to leave. There are many seasoned officers in 016 that spent more time pissing in west side alleys than you have on the job. Shut your cakeholes and bid there sizzle chests.

I have no problem with cops in 016 that did their time in the ghetto and bid over to take it easy, more power to you. The problem I have is with the guys/gals from 016 that been there the whole time that talk shit and act like they are the real police. I dont care if you 30+ years on if they were in 016 you got one year experience 30+ times over.

And everyone knows NOTHING will happen to you as the Department (and everyone else) had PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of a certain Sergeant mugging for a camera at a certain plane crash and THOSE PHOTOS made it to the Superintendents desk. Nothing was done to her and she even got her first choice for assignment.______

WRONG! IAD is doing a CR on that very incident. Anyone who has ever had a CR knows the final outcome can sometimes take over a year!

3/17/2006 10:09:00 AM

MAYBE...but she still got her first choice, even though the commander didn't want her, and she bumped someone else...so........Welcome back to 009...

TO 08:38:06After reading the entire bolg on this subject,(was putting me to sleep) you cracked me the fuck up!!!!!!!That is some outstanding humor office---and I can't wait til she comes to mids with us.

To 6:52:42,at last, someone who finally gets it. You sir are absolutely correct. Theres nothing worse than an Officer that goes to one of these slower districts like 016,017 or anything in A/3, works his entire career there and THINKS that he's the real Police. I'm amazed when I see these young guys riding around up in 016. They look like they are about 20 years old and couldn't possibly have more than a few years on. My God man, transfer out, go to the ghetto and learn how to do Police work. THEN and ONLY then, once you have earned it, come back to the slower Districts and use those skills that you have aquired in the ghetto, to protect your own. Where's your self respect? Do you realize that everybody is laughing at you, that they don't respect you, that they know that your a new guy who is in a good District because of a phone call? Now just in case you think I got a problem with new guys (I don't ), I think the same thing applies to older vets. If you are going to transfer into the above mentioned Districts to take a well deserved break in the action, fine, but don't stop being the PoPo. Take your knowledge and skills that you haved honed over the years and use them to make our areas a little safer.

To 6:52:42,at last, someone who finally gets it. You sir are absolutely correct. Theres nothing worse than an Officer that goes to one of these slower districts like 001,016,017 or anything in A/3 OR THE LOOP, works his entire career there and THINKS that he's the real Police. I'm amazed when I see these young guys riding around up in 016. They look like they are about 20 years old and couldn't possibly have more than a few years on. My God man, transfer out, go to the ghetto and learn how to do Police work. THEN and ONLY then, once you have earned it, come back to the slower Districts and use those skills that you have aquired in the ghetto, to protect your own. Where's your self respect? Do you realize that everybody is laughing at you, that they don't respect you, that they know that your a new guy who is in a good District because of a phone call? Now just in case you think I got a problem with new guys (I don't ), I think the same thing applies to older vets. If you are going to transfer into the above mentioned Districts to take a well deserved break in the action, fine, but don't stop being the PoPo. Take your knowledge and skills that you haved honed over the years and use them to make our areas a little safer.

As long as you brought it up, whats the real story about what happened at Harlem & Belmont on New Years Eve? The story I heard from a guy that was there was, yes, there were shots fired from the apt which was evidenced by casings all around on the ground, and yes they did get into the apt. and searched it and the occupants but could not find a gun and yes, one or more of the thugs had a mini cam. So if 016 did get in searched, found no gun, what would you have them do? Are you alleging that other things took place? No, I don't work in 016.