Yar I be well versed in th art of speaking pirate. Although I be pref’ern the ti’le o’ “Gentleman o’ fortune.” Savy?

(tis be a long story how i gained me sealegs as a pirate… ye sh’ld jest be knowing that I look th’ part too. Nay but a few summers ago, I was in the employment of a nautical vessel…twas a real ship but twas not made fer pirates…twas made to make landlubbers like ye pretend to be pirates. Aye the folly. Alas, those days are long gone…)

Yaaarrrrr, andrew, I be think’n ya sound mor’ lik ye be havin’ the French pox than scurvy, me lad. Thar she blows, laddies, the great white whale! Drop th’ longboats and grab yer ‘arpoons. . . Never mind, I was just walking past a mirror.