The top 7 music-related things on the Internet that have nothing to do with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

By Emma Silvers

Created 03/26/2014 - 2:43pm

Happy birthday, Ms. Ross.

Hey, did you hear that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, lead singer of Coldplay, are splitting up? Of course you did. Did you actually read through an entire news item about it before remembering that Gwyneth Paltrow is the most insufferable actress you can think of, and that's really saying something because there are a lot of them? Then there's the fact that Coldplay is, without exaggeration, one of the most boring bands that currently exists in the vast, vast landscape of offensively boring, mall-friendly, easily digested pop-rock music. It's the musical equivalent of an unsalted rice cake.

The idea that any music fan is spending any amount of time today reading clickbait about this topic hurts us. It hurts our hearts. With that in mind: Here are seven good music-related things to do on the Internet today, none of which are trying desperately to sound like a watered-down version of Radiohead and failing.

6. Check out LA-based funksters Vulfpeck[7]'s highly creative use of Spotify to simultaneously fund a bunch of free shows and call out Spotify for not supporting musicians more, with a full album of silent songs that clock in at just over 30 seconds each[8], the length of time after which Spotify pays bands whopping royalties. Just kidding about the whopping part.