Sunday, August 2, 2009

TAFE - constant state of stress. No structured 'exam week' - instead, an exam every week or two, with assignments and prac reports galore... Never a chance to wind down, even over the holidays we had a TONNE of study and homework to do. Feeling utterly overwhelmed, not enjoying myself much anymore, just trying to get it finished

UNI - pulled out of the one online subject I had been doing (Shakespeare: eight plays), as the essay question was utterly ridiculous and I couldn't handle it on top of the TAFE stuff. Feeling like an epic educational failure right now. Oh well I seriously underestimated the difficulty of the science course, guess this is the consequence. At least I did it in time to escape it going on my academic record...

FRIENDS - friends? What is this word you speak of? I have been a craptastic mate this year, pretty much disappearing off the face of the earth. Every time I do go out, I'm still stressing about something or other relating to tafe. Can't wait to be working normal hours in a normal 9-5 job (did I just say that?) so I can have the weekends to catch up with mates. When I was working full time, I might have been tired from work on weekends, but at least I didn't have to stay up late on saturday nights writing essays while my friends go out and have fun >:(

BERTIE - she's still away working interstate, just went back today after a week home. It was insane as usual because we were both just exhausted and run down. BUT it was amazing to see her after a month away, and we did have the most wonderful weekend before she left (equal love rally, harry potter 3D, wicked for the 3rd time, drinks with mates we've missed, a nice hotel room...)

WEIGHT LOSS/FITNESS - bad, bad, bad... I can get the exercise happening on an ok scale, but the food? I'm out of control. I make bad choices again and again, then feel discouraged and go 'oh well, I've stuffed today, I might as well go all out and fix it up tomorrow'... but when you eat fifty points in a day instead of eighteen, no amount of good behaviour or exercise is going to get me back to where I need to be for the week. So eventually, as the points go over and over and over the weekly limit, I give up a few days before weigh in and stop tracking until that thursday. Gah! I had done so well, lost twelve kilos, was getting fit. And yet, every time I feel like getting the routine back in action, the stress of tafe makes me want to eat until I puke. Unfortunately I'm an emotional eater, so I am hoping to speak to someone about trying to break that link in my mind.

LEG - My wonderful prosthetist Hannah, and Mark from the Royal Melbourne have been amazing. Hybrid running/walking leg has been doing wonders but has some issues with locking, and the new proper running leg is on the way.

WELCOME!!!

I've been reading more and more books, articles and blogs about people who are really living what they believe about the environment, health, simplicity, self-sufficiency, sustainability, animal rights etc.

For a long time I haven't felt that I've been doing this, except in a superficial and inconsistent sort of way. This blog is a wake up call to myself to start taking small steps to living a more principled, less hypocritical life.

Right now I live in a two bedroom apartment with no backyard or balcony, with plans to eventually buy a house with a back yard or at least a unit with a patch of soil that I can work with. We also plan to have children in a few years. I want to start researching the information and learning the skills that I'll need to move toward having a sustainable lifestyle within our house and within our family as it grows.