As I spent part of last week mewling about, there’s nada mucho booze left up in this maison, and I’m trying to hold off replenishing the stock until after the holidays. (My liver may be titanium-grade, but my bank account contains only tumbling tumbleweeds.) However, that’s not the reason I invented the Ghetto Mai Tai. Like the Ghetto Julep, the Ghetto Mai Tai speaks not to my neurotic frivolity (although there is that) nor my proclivity towards the fabulously trashy (oh, don’tgothere, MizzHmm!). It’s just about how some nights I enjoy achieving a mild pickling via a fun, supermarket ingredient-friendly, easy peasy glass of silly.

You are being a whiny little beeyotch this week. After putting up with all your petulant bullshit throughout the entirety of spring (wait, what spring? Exactly), now you are ruining Summer Cocktail Week. I plan a Mai Tai post and you decide that it’s a good day for intermittent drizzle and an overcast sky that can only be described as pawn-shop pewter. Do you see a dot-uk at the end of this blog’s url? You’re just fucking un-American, weather.

The World’s Greatest Mai Tai

1 1/2 ounces Myers Rum

1 ounce of another dark rum of your choice

1/2 ounce orange curacao

1 1/4 ounces lime juice

1/2 ounce orange juice

1/2 ounce orgeat

1/4 ounce simple syrup

Orange peel and cocktail umbrella, for garnish

Combine all liquid ingredients into an ice-filled cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for about 30 seconds. Strain into a Pilsener glass that has been filled with crushed ice, swizzle-style. Garnish.

5-ish days/week @ 5p…

... a new cocktail: Some classics, some new creations, all ideal for the adventurous, at-home bartender.