Hey, Brangelina fans, did you hear about those rumors that 37-year-old actress Angelina Jolie is currently pregnant with her seventh child, and that Brad Pitt finally plans on tying the knot with his longtime Hollywood love following the Cannes Film Festival this summer? Sounds pretty shady... but that's nothing compared to the latest sensationalized gossip report published by the National Enquirer. Apparently, Jolie's recent "sex confession" (praising ex-flame Colin Farrell's love-making talents) totally insulted Brad Pitt's manhood. In response, the 49-year-old actor spiraled into a "drunken rampage... consuming copious amounts of his favorite beer and red wine." Yeah, right...

First off, the baby rumors... a recent issue of Star magazine blares the headline:

The seedy tabloid goes on to explain that Jolie's been staying out of the public eye recently because she "doesn't want anyone to know that she's expecting." Meanwhile, an excited Pitt has been telling close friends and family that they're expecting a boy, and 6-year-old daughter Shiloh had determined the baby must be named John. Apparently, Jolie is already a good 3-5 months along...

To read more on the (most like false) baby and wedding gossip, go here.

And now the National Enquirer claims:

"In a dig designed to push Brad Pitt's buttons, Angelina Jolie insulted his manhood, and the devastated actor has gone on a drunken rampage!"

According to the gossip rag Jolie recently "told an astonished Brad that her former flame, Irish actor stud Colin Farrell, put him to shame between the sheets." An alleged inside source insists that the blatant manhood diss sent the "Fight Club" heartthrob into a "boozy tailspin." The source reveals, "Brad caught Angie red-handed, admitting that she thinks he's a so-so lover... Ever since then, he's been on a drunken rampage - consuming copious amounts of his favorite beer and red wine."

Hmm...

The report gets even more ridiculous, claiming that the Golden Globe winner was "even spotted staggering up to a Taco Bell drive-thru window" at around 1 a.m. last month. A supposed "eyewitness" said that Pitt "looked drunk, and after he realized the fast-food joint was closed, he stumbled off into the early morning darkness."

Apparently, all this drama first started when Pitt overheard Jolie talking to her ex-hubby Billy Bob Thornton over the phone, complaining about her "boring" sex life. "Angie told Billy Bob that her love life with Brad had gone cold, and she missed the wild, passionate sex she'd had with Colin," according to the source. Pitt then confronted Jolie and "forced" her to admit all the juicy details surrounding her amazing sex life with Farrell. The "Lara Croft" starlet still "lusts" for Farrell's bedroom flare... and because of that, Pitt turned to massive amounts of alcohol.

WHAT. Really?!

The National Enquirer repeatedly attempts to sensationalize these Brangelina stories, attempting to pit the couple against one another (at one point the tabloid claimed that Jolie was having an ongoing hotel affair with a "tattooed bad-boy"). As Gossip Cop reports, it's all bogus.

For now, all the pregnancy rumors still remain unconfirmed. And no, Pitt did not fall into a "drunken rampage" after finding out that Jolie was unsatisfied with his talent between the sheets. That just didn't happen, period.