The business of denying celebrity pregnancies

Deny, deny, deny. This is the business of celebrities when it comes to pregnancy rumors. The most recent couple to deny reports that they were expecting their first child was Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, 29, and singer Ashlee Simpson Wentz, 23. When asked if Ashlee was expecting, Pete replied that he thinks there is a "witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood." However, the couple later went on to confirm the news after they married last month. More recently, Pete said that he denied the story to "protect [Ashlee] and the baby."

Due to medical concerns — for both celebrities and all women world-wide — it is advised to not promote your pregnancy until you are past the first trimester. Pete also revealed, "We wanted to wait until after the first trimester and get a clean bill of health from our doctors before confirming anything, just like any other couple."

Ashlee and Pete denied the pregnancy to protect their child and so they didn’t have to announce, if in a saddening case, that Ashlee had miscarried. This is a situation that Lily Allen found herself in earlier this year. Other celebrities to deny rumors and then later confirm them include Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Lopez.

I wanted to wait until after the first trimester but they figured it out since I could barely stay awake and was constantly green.

sil
on June 6th, 2008

First pregnancy i wait until the first visit to the doctor, i was like 8 weeks. Second pregnancy the same, i told my family and closest friends when i was 7 – 8 weeks, but unfortunately i had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, and it was hard to tell everybody who knew i was pregnant that i wasn’t anymore.
Next time i will wait the first trimester, i will not tell anybody, will be just for me and my husband, until we know for sure everything is ok.

I think it is funny that people were so upset that Pete Wentz lied about Ashlee being pregnant. People act as if they have a right to know about these people’s private lives. Pete apologized for “misleading” people. He shouldn’t have to do that.

I wanted to wait until I was finished with the first trimester to tell the masses. However, my mom spilled the beans and we had to start telling people at 7 weeks. We aren’t telling her next time! :-) I told my job after the first trimester.

Courtney
on June 6th, 2008

I tell everyone right away. I have also had 4 miscarriages. I have 4 children…7 pregnancies. I tell people because I need their support and prayers. And when something did happen, then I had support form my family and friends instead of suffering like it never happened. I wanted my right to be sad and upset and grieve, not hide it.

I understand why alot of people wait, I just feel differently in my situation. I also know that after you hear the babies heartbeat there is a less than 4% chance of miscarriage. I think alot of people wait till after 3 months are up because alot of people don’t go to the doctor early, most docs wait till 12 weeks for an appointment and you never know anything is wrong. And sometimes when something happens and you know that its happened then it still takes a while to miscarry. I went for an ultrasound at 7 weeks and had 2 blighted ovums. Basically its a sac and the babies didnt develop, but your body doesnt know it. I had to wait to miscarry. I ended up having emergency gallbladder surgery and they did a d&c at 10 weeks. I never miscarried on my own and without that ultrasound, I could have carried to 14 weeks or more.

Anyway, its a personal choice when to tell.I don’t have to worry about that anymore cause this factory is closed!

Courtney

Kristen
on June 6th, 2008

When I got pregnant the first time, I told everyone immediately, (so I was 4 weeks along), and then 6 weeks later, I had to tell everyone I had a miscarriage. So when I got pregnant with my son I didn’t tell anyone until I was 13 weeks along.

I understand about waiting till the first trimester, that’s not argueable, but when you already look huge and almost about to pop like JLo and still denying it looks ridiculous.

cutecurls
on June 6th, 2008

I’m glad we waited till I was 13 weeks (I’m now 29 weeks) We’ll do it again if there’s a next time. May even wait longer.
I’d prefer to mourn in private if something went wrong.

Poppy
on June 6th, 2008

I waited till 19 weeks, but didn’t find out till I was 12 weeks, so needed some time to get my head around it. I wasn’t showing, so no one commented ,and I felt that it was my business to tell people when I wanted to.

Me & my hubby have been trying for 11 months so when I finally fell pregnant I was ecstatic! I have a big mouth anyway so I told everyone when I was 6 weeks lol. I’m now 36 weeks and since everyone knew I was pregnant early on they bug me every second to see if the baby is here yet.

Bren
on June 6th, 2008

I wanted to wait to tell my family and friends after my first trimester, but I am such a big mouth I couldn’t hold that ‘secret’ in for too long! I told everyone when I was 2 months lol

Bren
on June 6th, 2008

Another thing…I’d be a terrible celebrity! If I was pregnant I would have told everyone, I can’t keep happy news in! :( lol

Cait
on June 6th, 2008

I feel bad for them. Just because theye’re celebrities doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get the right to announce it on their own time. People have made comments on other posts (not just on CBB, on several other sites) about this couple, things like “Oh, just admit it already, everyone knows.” and “Shotgun wedding! Of course she’s pregnant!” Just because they’re famous and in the limelight doesn’t mean they have to admit it if they’re not ready to.

They have every right, just like “regular” not famous couples, to announce the news of their pregnancy until they feel comfortable announcing it. I completely understand the want to keep it quiet until they were out of the “danger” zone so to speak. I can’t imagine how painful a miscarriage would be and how much worse it would be to have to deal with it in the limelight, like poor Lily had to do.

Congrats to the soon-to-be parents and I wish them all the best. They’re going to be great!

Sooza
on June 6th, 2008

I didn’t tell most of my friends and coworkers until I was about 16 weeks — well into my 2nd trimester — because I was scared of something going wrong. I wanted to make sure that I felt totally comfortable with EVERYONE knowing once I shared the news.

[Case in point — I had to tell my boss around 6 weeks because I had spotting and was on bedrest for a couple of days. That just added to my stress — especially when she shared the news with the Board of Directors. (I work at a small non-profit.)]

I don’t see any problem with people denying or hiding a pregnancy until they feel comfortable sharing. This is especially true for celebrities, whose personal business is broadcast all over the world! Being pregnant is such an amazing, scary, wonderful, and surprising experience — expecting parents deserve a level of respect and honor.

Christine
on June 6th, 2008

My first pregnancy we didn’t tell anyone. We were waiting for the first trimester to be over, and miscarried at 8 weeks. Second pregnancy we told everyone right away, and miscarried again. That was a lesson learned; I never want to tell people about a loss again. Third pregnancy we told close family and friends at 8 weeks after multiple ultrasounds showed two healthy babies. Next time around I’ll still wait until 8-12 weeks and a good ultrasound.

Chris
on June 6th, 2008

I told some people when I was around 7 weeks. I didn’t know how many people actually miscarry early on and was elated I was pregnant so I told a few people at that time. I told others when I was a little further along. That kind of news spreads quickly whether you’re celebrity or not though. I can understand why they’d wait to share the news, it’s nobody’s business but their own but people are curious. I hope they have a happy & healthy baby and wish them the best:)

Loralee
on June 6th, 2008

With our first three pregnancies we told everyone right away (6 weeks). We had miscarried the first pregnancy at four months, but I will never regret telling
everyone because I wanted that pregnancy acknowledged. With the fourth pregnancy we waited until 3 mos, but that was because life was crazy with the older kids being only 2 1/2 and 6 mos.
I went on to have a total of three living children, but I will never forget the child I miscarried.

MC
on June 6th, 2008

My husband and I told our families when I was 6-7 weeks along, as circumstances beyond our control forced our hand (so to speak). The rest of the world found out when I was 12-13 weeks along.

Emily
on June 6th, 2008

I’m still in college and have never been pregnant, but I think when I get pregnant, I will tell only my closest family and friends. More than anything else in this world, I want to get pregnant and have children, and my close family and friends know that. I wouldn’t be able to hold that in. Seriously, the first person I will call the minute I find out (after the father) would be my mom. I will tell her as soon as I find out. I would ask her to keep it quiet for awhile, though — which I think she could manage. I would also tell my best friends, for sure. But other than that, I think I would wait for a little while, at least. Maybe not until the beginning of my second trimester, but at least until I was pretty close.

There was actually an incident like that in my family. My cousin was pregnant, but had a miscarriage. The whole family knew — except, my dork of a father. “Nobody told him” she had a miscarriage. So at our next family event, he goes, “So I hear you’re pregnant!” And she actually WAS pregnant again… but hadn’t told anyone but her mom. So HE spilled the beans to the entire family because he was completely clueless. It was pretty amusing, but I felt bad for her.

Gia
on June 6th, 2008

It’s one thing to say “no comment” and just not say anything to the media about a pregnancy, but it’s another thing to say “I’m not pregnant, and how dare you suggest I am”… which is in essence what Pete Wentz did when he did his rant about the ‘witchhunt’ to find out whether or not Ashlee was. I totally supported his perspective after the news was public, and his defense of wanting to protect his child and Ashlee – but he really didn’t need to say as much as he did in the first place.

It absolutely is a couple’s/mother’s right to not tell anyone about the pregnancy until the first tri is over… but I don’t see why there has to be such an elaborate denial.

Also… any woman who has been pregnant knows who they can and cannot trust with the news about being pregnant, if they want it kept a secret… sometimes I have to question whether or not the celeb is actually upset about the beans being spilled early, because if they really wanted to keep it a secret, they would have only told the really important people in their life, ones who perhaps already know secrets and who won’t sell them to the media.

sil
on June 6th, 2008

so many people here had a miscarriage…so it’s true when my doctor told me is a very common situation, unfortunately.
I don’t feel “alone” now… thanks for sharing your stories :)

When I was pregnant with my now 10-month-old daughter, we told close friends and family when I was about 4-5 weeks along. We just found out on Memorial Day that baby #2 is on the way (I was about 5 1/2 weeks along). I called my husband as soon as that plus sign appeared and then called my sister. We told other close family members and friends at about six weeks. We generally tell other friends and family at about three months.

I swore I would be one of those people who waited to tell everyone until I was into the second trimester. Miscarriage, unfortunately, happens whether you tell people or not. The way I see it now is that if close friends and family know early on, they’ll keep baby in their prayers. :)

kim
on June 6th, 2008

I told in the beginning of all of mine, I had 4 pg with 2 m/c’s. When I was pg the 3rd time and told my mom she could/would not be excited as the fear of losing another baby and me being devasted again, she was looking out for her baby..

finnaryn
on June 6th, 2008

It was different for each of my pregnancies.

The first one we were living in a city with no family around. We didn’t tell any family until I was 3 months. I did tell my job right away when I found out. Big Mistake. I suddenly didn’t have a job anymore. I kept quite with my second job and didn’t tell them until I was 6 months and couldn’t hide it anymore.

My with my second and third pregnancies I told my close friends and family at 2 months. I also told my bosses at work then because I wanted to earn comp time to use during maternity leave. I didn’t even tell any other co-workers. The office was full of gossipers so I just let them figure it out. I did play a joke on them by letting them think that one of my co-workers was the father. I was good friends with him and his girlfriend and it was their suggestion.

With my fourth pregnancy I told friends, family and my bosses at 8 weeks, just after the first US with a heartbeat. Again, I told work so I could earn comptime and because I was due at a busy time of the year for the office. However, I found out that I lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks, though the US showed that it probably happened just a few days after the first US.

From now on I won’t tell until at least 3 months. It tore me up to have to tell people I lost the pregnancy, which happened a year ago on the 18th. I saw someone recently who I hadn’t seen for a long time and they asked how the baby was. I know she had found out that I was pregnant from someone I had trusted. I just replied on how my youngest was and she got a really strange look on her face. I walked away after that because while I do like having support from people, she is not someone who is good at giving it.

I-dra
on June 6th, 2008

didn’t pete & ashley make a video before their engagement announcement in which they alluded to being pregnant? i mean, if you don’t want “rumors” circulating, it would be wise not to start them!

anyway, to answer the question, i told everyone i knew the day i took two positive tests (around 4 weeks). i can’t keep something like that to myself! i figured if something bad happened, i would want the people around me to support me & be in the know.

Jennifer
on June 6th, 2008

I understand how some people choose to wait. I have told everyone pretty much as soon as I was pg. My first pg I was terrified something would go wrong and unfortunately my son was stillborn @ 22 weeks so even waiting till after the first trimester wouldn’t have made a difference. I was glad that I had told everyone though because I needed the support and acknowledgment of my son. My second pg I again told everyone only to lose my second son @ 10 weeks but again, was grateful I told everyone and had the support. So in my third and fourth pg’s I had a lot of support from family and friends and went on to deliver two very beautiful healthy little girls that are made all that more special and precious because of what we all went through. Plus I look at it in the fact that not only is the pg affecting me but also the rest of my family. My parents lost their first and second grandchildren. My brothers lost their nephews. This way by telling them they were able to grieve with us.

Anthonette
on June 6th, 2008

We didn’t tell anyone until we were in the 2nd trimester. We are good at keeping a secret! It was easy to not say anything. I enjoyed the privacy.

Sum
on June 6th, 2008

I personally think that it’s a choice, and you have to weigh the pros and cons. For someone like me, the only people that would know are the people that know me personally, as I am not a celebrity. So, I would have support of loving people if something should happen. However, my husband and I chose to tell our parents and 2 close friends right away, then we told everyone else around 11-12 weeks, just to be sure everything was sound. I can see where celebs would do that, and they have a right to do that. It’s not like it’s any of our business to know until they are ready to share, anyway.

brooke
on June 7th, 2008

I defintley think it’s a good idea to wait until you are after the first trimester, just in case god forbid something happens, and I understand why celebrities wait until they are further along to confirm it. I wouldn’t do what pete did though, which is flat out call it a lie and say that was crazy, no way were they pregnant, etc lol. I was always told that is bad luck to deny a pregnancy, he should have done what ashlee did which was she didn’t confirm nor did she deny it

Sarah
on June 7th, 2008

Everyone’s pretty much said what I wanted to say.
Though did he actually lie and come out and say no? Didn’t they just dodge the question when it was asked?
And good for them. I would hate for the world to know and then, God forbid, something happen and have to deal with it while the whole world looked on.