Secretary vulgar jokes

Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's arobot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation and if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day and you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still f:::cking!"