Crystal Stilts prep new album and fall tour with Deerhunter, bring hot jams to a desperate nation

The heat descended heavily across the land. The townspeople, clad all in black and wearing very fashionable sunglasses, languished in the sun, praying for relief, for an autumnal breeze, for a cool drink from the deep well of minor-key rock ‘n’ roll music. Then, what, ho? A trumpet sounded from the deepest reaches of the internet town square. An official announcement from the castle of Sacred Bones!

And so it was, gentlefolk of the not-so-merry kingdom of Postpunklandia, that a declaration rang out across the land: Crystal Stilts have a new album called Nature Noir, and it’s out September 17 via — naturally — Sacred Bones! Listen to first single “Star Crawl” NOW:

Formed in 2003, in the magical land known as New York City, Crystal Stilts is comprised of master songsmiths Brad Hargett (vocals), JB Townsend (guitar), Andy Adler (bass), Keegan Cooke (drums), and Kyle Forester (keyboards). Nature Noir is the band’s third studio LP, following up 2011’s In Love With Oblivion (TMT Review). To celebrate, they’ll be saddling their finest unicorns and touring this great nation of ours with Deerhunter in the fall.

The heat descended heavily across the land. The townspeople, clad all in black and wearing very fashionable sunglasses, languished in the sun, praying for relief, for an autumnal breeze, for a cool drink from the deep well of minor-key rock ‘n’ roll music. Then, what, ho? A trumpet sounded from the deepest reaches of the internet town square. An official announcement from the castle of Sacred Bones!

And so it was, gentlefolk of the not-so-merry kingdom of Postpunklandia, that a declaration rang out across the land: Crystal Stilts have a new album called Nature Noir, and it’s out September 17 via — naturally — Sacred Bones! Listen to first single “Star Crawl” NOW:

Formed in 2003, in the magical land known as New York City, Crystal Stilts is comprised of master songsmiths Brad Hargett (vocals), JB Townsend (guitar), Andy Adler (bass), Keegan Cooke (drums), and Kyle Forester (keyboards). Nature Noir is the band’s third studio LP, following up 2011’s In Love With Oblivion (TMT Review). To celebrate, they’ll be saddling their finest unicorns and touring this great nation of ours with Deerhunter in the fall.

While vinyl records were basking in their glorious limelight like the winner of a beauty pageant thanks in part to a certain Record Store Day, the nearby cassette has been wringing its hands in second place jealousy. If one could listen into the dark background, you might hear this: “someday, I’ll have my own day, and then, and then…”

Well looky here lil’ cassette, YOUR OWN DAMN DAY! According to the official Cassette Day website, this is now a thing. Move over Record Store Day! Same with you Boxing Day! Go fuck yourself National Doughnut Day! Once September 7 rolls around, we are going off the hook! Me and the whole Riboflavin family are gonna be buying cassettes like Cracklin’ Oat Bran. New cassettes from Fucked Up and Fair Ohs we will stack to our eyeballs, not to mention HOT reissues of classics by The Flaming Lips, Deerhunter, and At The Drive-In. It’s like side A/side B Pokémon over here, we are gonna catch ‘em ALL!

“Buuut Wibofwavin,” you say to me in the most adorable voice, “I bowght a tape at wecowd stowre day. Pwus my town doesn’t have a cassette stowre!” Ditto, dude. All participating stores (who, and don’t kill the messenger here, may or may not be dedicated cassette-only stores), will be announced next week. So maybe your local Hastings will hit up the warehouse and fill the shelves with unsold Quiet Riot and Rush tapes, who knows. What I do know is that if Hastings starts telling people to, “come on dowwwwn and buy new music from Art Is Hard and everybody’s favorite label Mirror Universe,” I will gladly punch myself in the face in public. Is Hastings even a thing anymore?

Sometimes crying is okay. As a male in a society that expects us to be emotionally detached, this can be a difficult prospect, which is where A Winged Victory for the Sullen comes into the picture. Theirs is music to have a good, strong and manly cry to. They know this; at concerts they pass out little packets of tissues at the door and the venues’ trashcans are inevitably overflowing with balled-up, snotty wads of Kleenex by the end of the show.

For those of us who enjoy this kind of emotional masochism/catharsis, there is good news: A Winged Victory for the Sullen have composed new music for Wayne McGregor’s modern dance piece Atomos. How their floating, ethereal music translates into dance is difficult to picture. Hopefully, openly weeping has been incorporated into the choreography.

Dustin O’Halloran and Adam Bryanbaum Wiltzie will be providing a live soundtrack for Atomos at its premiere in London at Sadler’s Well and a spate of warm-up dates leading up to it. Little pockets of emotional catharsis are going to be popping up all over the UK come October. Better invest in some hankies.

I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve heard from Kim Gordon. I mean, she talked about the dissolution of her marriage to Elle a while back and that article bounced around the web. So there’s that, I guess. We also know she’s been working with avant garde dude Bill Nace for a project called Body/Head and that they’ve played some festival dates and put out a limited release or two but she most certainly kept a lower profile than (possibly) ex-bandmate Lee Ranaldo and (definitely) ex-husband Thurston Moore. Until this fall anyway.

Gordon and Nace have announced a debut album proper and an accompanying (short) US tour. Coming Apart is due out September 10 on 2xLP and CD from Matador (as were Moore’s and Ranaldo’s albums). The album represents a shift in the duo’s approach to music making. Initially started as an improvisational and instrumental project, Gordon slowly started to incorporate vocals into the mix. As time, the occasional live date, and studio sessions went on, vocals and some semblance of structure began to emerge. That isn’t to say there’s no room for long, jammy improvisations. There’s bound to be plenty of that.

In addition to the record release, Gordon will be opening an art exhibit at the White Columns Gallery in New York. The exhibition is titled Design Office with Kim Gordon since 1980 and runs from September 7 to October 19. A graduate of Otis College of Art and Design, Gordon’s Design Office is something of an experimental/psychological interior decoration project that she started in 1980 and if the title of the exhibition wasn’t a giveaway, it collects the work she’s done on the project over the past 30+ years.

“They look at me and see a black man? I feel like a white woman” - Lil B

“Fuck a Maserati I pull up in a minivan swaggin’ like a mommy” - Lil B

“Nikki Minaj I’m the finest bitch out, ya feel me?” - Lil B

“20 on my dick because I look like Miss America” - Lil B

“I’m Miley Cyrus” - Lil B

“I look like Paris Hilton” - Lil B

“Suck my dick because I look like JK Rowling” - Lil B

Maybe we should have seen this coming; the combination of Lil B’s “swag to the maximum” and women’s fashion seems like a natural thing, it just feels right, right? He has always been comfortably in touch with his feminine side, errr… or at least comfortable claiming to look like famous white female celebrities. Luckily (phew) that vision is one step closer now that anyone (Lil B included) can snag some ladies’ threads with The BasedGod’s image not-so-subtly emblazoned about them.

The Fader has hipped us to the fact that a senior thesis clothing collection inspired by Lil B’s swagger recently showcased at the Parson’s school graduation fashion show. Aptly entitled “BASED,” the collection includes a bomber jacket, custom Timberland boots, a fishnet skirt, and even full-length dresses. All of these, of course (duh), are drenched in the deliciously BASED image of Bay Area rapper and free-form genius Lil B. Some of designer Isabel Simpson-Kirsch’s handmade pieces can be pre-ordered here, but only for a very limited time, so hit it quick. If you ever wanted to counter Lil B lyrics like “you’re on my dick” with a pair of boxers with his face literally ON your dick, this is your golden opportunity. And for those in need of a serious Lil B refresher course, or a fitting introduction to this amorphous rapper’s work, I defer you to the writings of resident BasedGod expert C Monster, cuz he BASED AS FUCK!