Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Yesterday, June 30th 2015 my children were sold. Ella and Maxine were bought by the highest bidder, Merck! Yesterday, June 30th 2015 Jerry Brown sold out all of our children in California....

I happened to be at the Capitol holding vigil for the Warriors in White when the news broke that Brown had signed the bill. I was holding the sign and standing silent when a stranger on the North Steps announced to us that he had signed SB277. I thought it was a sick joke, I really did. SB277 had hit the Governor's desk less than 16 hours earlier (8 of those hours he was probably sleeping). My oldest and dearest friend asked me today if I was really that shocked? I guess my answer is yes, I was really that shocked. I guess because I know (we all know) how horrid of a bill this truly is, how horribly this bill will effect California, how flawed the logic is behind this bill in my naïve heart I believed he would see through the bullshit and veto it. I guess I truly wanted to believe that Brown was for the people, that he was not bought, I guess I truly believed he would not want this to be his legacy. I think two of the most shocking things for me was that there was no religious exemption added, I always believed even if he did sign it that he would hold true to his values. I was wrong. I was naïve to think that he wasn't a sell out. I guess the hardest thing for me to swallow was the amount of time (or lack of amount of time) it took him to sign it. We all know what that means; Brown had his mind made up long ago.

It is hard for me to sympathize with Brown to be understanding of his plight. You see, I was also at the Capitol they day prior when my daughter Ella and Otto Coleman went to Browns office to deliver a petition with TWICE as many signature as the support had. I watched our children get escorted out of the office and told to drop their documents on the dirty mail room floor. I watched our children get treated like second class citizens. Did Brown ever even see that petition, did he even care? Probably not.... because he already had his mind made up. Did a single media outlet report that we had TWICE as many signatures? Or the way our children were treated? Not a single one, they told the story they wanted to tell because they are bought too.

Now, there has been a bit of controversy following the petition delivery about how we were treated versus that of Rhett Krawitt (grandson of Glaxo consultant.) No, we do not know if Rhett was allowed to drop his petition off with Brown but we can safely say he probably wasn't directed by CHP to the mail room. We can safely say that Brown at some point new about what happened at his office that day, maybe not while it was happening but certainly after the fact. What we also know is that Brown had the power to right that wrong if he wanted but he choose not too; he is just as guilty and complicate as his staff for the treatment of our children. But, why would he right that wrong, he already had his mind made up. I mean, I guess I get it.... People don't want to have to look at our vaccine injured children, its not some pretty little image they can put in a box to justify their bullshit stance on vaccines.

I think that maybe this would have been easier to swallow if I felt like Brown actually grappled with the decision. Maybe if Brown had ever at any point chose to actually meet with someone from our side, to hear our concerns..... Brown said in his signing statement that "both sides delivered their position with eloquence." Oh, BULLSHIT. I call Bullshit. How could he know our stance if he never met with our side. Brown is a coward, a bought coward that didn't have the decency to listen to the voices of a little boy in a wheelchair, a little girl with broken lungs and a brain damaged adolescent because he is to big of a chicken shit to look truth in the face. Brown could have at least pretended to care, he could have held on to the bill for at least a few more days but instead he decided to give us all a big middle finger! When Brown signed that bill in less than 16 hours he proved to all of us that not only is he bought but that he could care less about our fight, about us or about our children.

There are rumors that it was signed so quickly because his wife wants a political career and he must stay on the popular side..... Good luck with that because you just turned your back on a lot of California parents.

In the first moments after the bill was signed I was still in shock and still desperately hoped it would somehow still be vetoed. However, now that my emotions have calmed I know that while this is devastating for most and while this law will no doubt cripple California, that is what needs to happen. I can not wait to see the ramifications this law will have.... Lawsuits that will burden our justice system (and the discovery that comes with them), financial losses that will devastate an already struggling school system, the closures of schools with are inevitable, the weight on our public assistance system that it coming when parents are forced to quit their jobs, the taxes that are lost when families run from this state in alarming numbers and the real estate market that will definitely suffer when we start dumping our houses. Let the games begin. Because at the end of this when it is all said and done THAT is what Jerry Brown will have on his hands and THAT is the legacy that he will have left.

And I pray to God that not one SINGLE family is forced to vaccinate their child under duress because they have no other options.... and if they do that blood will be on Browns hands also.

Bravo Sir.... You did California proud.

I don't know what this bill means for my family at this point. I don't know if we will move or we will stay and fight. I know that over my dead body will I allow my little girl to be denied the right to go to school when she so desperately wants to go already. What I do know is that on June 30th 2015 my world came crumbling down around me.

What I DO know is that Brown can take this bill and shove it where the sun don't shine because we are just getting started.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I am embarrassed to say that before SB277 I knew almost nothing about politics or how our government works. Now that I have found myself at the forefront in the fight against SB277 I am even more embarrassed than I ever thought possible that this is the way our government is run. I mean, like REALLY embarrassed. I have seen things that have made me want to cry, scream, laugh out of absurdity and legit begin to question how in the world it is possible that these people work for us?!

I did not really get my teeth into the SB277 fight until shortly before the Senate Education committee hearing. So lets start there shall we? I attended the Education hearing with my red shirt and sign in tow, I sat in one of the over flow rooms and watched the beginning testimony with all the others there in opposition to this hideous bill. We watched lie after lie after lie come out of "Dr" Pans mouth. Some of us laughed, shook our heads and mostly we tried to control our anger, after the lies were over it was our turn to go stand in line to state our opposition. Well over 1,000 people stood in line (a line that wrapped through the entire Capitol building, although the news reported there was only a few hundred in opposition) to have our 30 seconds at the microphone and state our opposition to this bill. After almost 2 hours the opposition was finished and I sat down on a bench outside and watched the live feed of the hearing from my phone. What I watched was the members of the Education committee GRILL Pan on the flaws in the bill: No public health crisis, already at "Herd Immunity," segregation of students, denying access to public education, how this effects single families and on and on and on. As I sat there I couldn't believe what I was hearing and seeing; SB277 was about to die in Education! Well, we all know what happened next. Senator Lui the Chair of the Committee told Pan he had 1 week to come back with better answers because if they took a vote right then the bill would die! WHAT?! I cant even....

Fast forward a week.... Pan comes back to Education with one measly (pun intended) amendment. The newest amendment would allow for homeschoolers to congregate with other homschoolers (something previously not allowed in the bill.) Then the strangest thing happened, with almost no questions from the committee, with not a single amendment to address the list of concerns they had that was long as my body the week before, the committee almost unanimously voted to pass the bill through. All of us were left scratching our heads....

I will leave out the Senate Judiciary Committee as well as the full Senate floor vote because if I have to discuss Hannah Beth Jackson my head might explode. However, we all know what happened there as well, SB277 got rocketed over to the Assembly to deal with.

So once SB277 made its way over to the assembly things got even weirder. One would think that because this bill would effect the access to education for 200k students that it would need to be heard in the education committee of the Assembly right? WRONG. SB277 was referred to a single committee the health committee with an overwhelming majority of Democrats sitting for the vote (Democrats seem to be the only ones voting for this stupid bill.) All the while it was a well known fact that the biggest chance to kill SB277 would have been to have it heard in Education. It has been reported that several members of the opposition had a meeting with Speaker of the Assembly Toni Atkins (the woman in charge of assigning to committees) and they were told that she had the ability to be heavy handed and refer the bill to Education but that it would likely have a devastating effect on her career as many of the Democrats are trying to push this through as fast and easy as possible. Again, WHAT?!

So on to Assembly Health Committee we go....

The day of the Assembly Health Committee THOUSANDS of people showed up to oppose SB277; however, again the press reported numbers in the hundreds. In fact, one of the Sergeants of Arms was reported to have said that in the 20 years he has worked at the Capitol he has NEVER seen that much opposition to a bill ever. The health committee was like watching a bad horror show. We saw Pan get up and stutter his way through the hard questions, Allen seemed to be citing law in all incorrect ways, Lorena Gonzales went on a rampage that was probably one of the most disrespectful things I have ever seen. At one point it is reported that a Tweet came from Miss Gonzales's account that was time stamped in the middle of the testimony... Was she Tweeting during testimony?! (It was also reported from the Assembly gallery this last Monday while watching them go over the budget it appeared that at least half of them were on their phones checking FB during that testimony, in fact an article came out in CBS that one member apparently voted wrong because he was distracted by playing on his phone during the vote.) To take it farther, at one point the camera shot over to where all the Assembly Members should have been sitting during the Health Committee yet there was only 4 chairs with people in them.... Did 3/4 of the Health Committee get up and go take a break in the middle of the opposition testimony?!

Then there was the questions that came from some of the members that seemed to be the most in opposition to this bill..... Waldron asked "How we could make parents sign a consent form taking all responsibility for our child after vaccination if we were going to mandate it? Shouldn't the state then be responsible?" Chavez (Chavez for President) asked Pan "How he could have voted yes on a bill 2 months ago that would allow hundreds of thousands of homeless children to enroll in school with out immunizations but then try to pass SB277 into law?" Chavez also asked while holding a press release from CDHP "Why he was trying to pass this law when CDHP says we have reached our goal on immunization rates?" Again, it all fell on deaf ears.... SB277 passed health with a 12-6 vote and one abstention.

So off to the Assembly floor we go.....

Again, I have to ask.... These people work for us?! In my own experience walking the halls of the Capitol day in and day out trying to speak with the Assembly Members what I have found is an overwhelming annoyance of my presence. Ok, maybe I am annoying but isn't that their job, to deal with annoying citizens that have concerns? I personally have been hung up on by numerous staffers, been looked at like a parasite, tried to get appointments to speak with these people all to no avail. Actually, while walking the halls on Monday delivering documents to various Assembly Members I approached my Senator Dr Pan in the elevator about my concerns. I was swiftly brushed off and dismissed, while I continued to walk down the hall trying to ask him what I should do he brushed me off and shut his office door in my face while I was mid sentence. There have been reports in numerous SB277 groups of constituents being hung up on, Assembly Members refusing to meet with them, being blocked on FB and Twitter for voicing polite and legitimate concerns with their representatives. Isn't that their job? To speak with their constituents about their concerns? It has also been reported that while opposition has been speaking the to their assembly members that they have been told things like "Maybe you can work something out on the side with your school." "I haven't taken a stance yet because I haven't even seen the bill" <---- Even thought they are supposed to be going on the 3rd reading of SB277 and it is scheduled to be voted on tomorrow. "I will make my decision once it comes to me on the Assembly floor" <---- It is already on the floor, and don't you think with a bill this important that I don't know maybe they should be taking a vested interest before they make a willy nilly decision to segregate my child and strip my parental rights? It has also been reported that regardless of the fact that 95 percent of calls are in opposition to SB277 one Democratic Assembly Members was quoted as saying "This bill is bad but not a single Democrat will vote against it!"

No really, these people work for us right?!

I get it.... I really do. SB277 was expected to be quietly swept under the rug, that maybe we wouldn't notice and it would just go through. I get it their phones are ringing off the hook, they have people walking in dropping off letters all day and asking to actually speak with the person that is supposed to be representing them in their district. I get it we are annoying you guys.... But, when you mess with peoples children what do you think is going to happen? I mean, these people do work for us right?!

Friday, February 20, 2015

On August 11. 2013 we sat in the PICU watching our baby girl struggle to breathe; it was exactly one week before her first birthday and this was her third admission to the PICU and her seventh trip to the ER for respiratory distress in her short one year of life. As we watched her sleep hooked up to all the monitors and machines, listening to the nurses and Doctors talking about having to intubate her we both had nothing left in us.... Something had to give here, she was going to die if this continued.

It wasn't until a few week later when things calmed down that I was going through Ella's medical records and I was listing all of her hospitalizations next to all the dates of her vaccines. Ella was brought to the ER for breathing problems every single time within 3-7 days after the receipt of one of her routine vaccinations.

After Ella became sick I was told that she was high risk and that she needed to be vaccinated more than any other "Normal" child.....

Ella began her first round of steroids at 6 months old after her asthma became uncontrollable...

Nobody ever told me that because of her high dose corticosteroids she had to take for her asthma she never should have been vaccinated in the first place because her body could never mount a proper immune response anyways....

Nobody ever told me that children that fall under the allergic umbrella (asthma, eczema and food allergies) have an imbalance in their TH1/TH2 responses causing them to be in a constant state of an overactive TH2 and that vaccine adjuvants (aluminum) are specifically designed to elicit a strong TH2 response leaving her in a constant state of inflammation, her little body constantly attacking itself....

Ella is vaccine injured and there is no doubt in my soul about that. It comes down to the chicken and the egg, what came first? Was Ella born with a genetic imbalance in her TH responses and vaccines just exacerbated that? Or did the vaccines cause the dominant TH2 response that her body couldn't regulate? It doesn't really matter I guess. What I know is that Ella, just like any other baby, wasn't born with a stamp on her forehead. Babies aren't born with a stamp that says " I have a genetic condition!" or "My body cant properly detox from vaccines!"

And that is the ultimate problem with a one size fits all vaccine schedule, you just don't know by looking at a child how they will handle it.

No. Nobody told me any of this...

I found it out all my own, the hard way.

I was listening to the Doctors, I was listening to my friends, I was listening to the other moms in the mommies groups telling me I had a responsibility to the community: I needed to vaccinate my child for The Greater Good, I needed to do this to keep her safe and to protect all your children too.

So there I stood, at every well check, lighting my child on fire to keep your kid warm

And I am angry. Angry as hell.

Now, lets unpack this shall we. All out on the table.

So now here I stand, in the middle of a Measles "Epidemic" looking at the possibility of being forced to inject my children with over 40 viruses by 1st grade because why?

When did 100 cases of anything become an "Epidemic?" When did 100 cases of a disease that has a high fever and a rash mean I lose the right to make medical decisions for my family?

When did 100 cases of a disease that hasn't killed a single person in the USA in over 10 years means I have to sacrifice my children's health for yours?

The flu kills somewhere between 3,000 to 20,000 people per year... Where is the outrage for that?

Car accidents kill over 40,000 people per year, better take cars away!

In 2014 alone 3,540 families were compensated through the vaccine injury compensation program for death or serious bodily harm caused by vaccines (and those are just the ones the government conceded to and not anywhere near the total cases filed.) Where is the outrage? Where are all the people screaming for the vaccine manufacturers to be held responsible? Oh, Yah lets talk about that.

In 1986 the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program was passed into law.

Since its inception the program has awarded over 2 billion dollars to vaccine injury victims.

Prior to 1986 the vaccine manufacturers could be held liable and sued for vaccine injuries; however, they were being sued so often and loosing so much money they went to the federal government and threatened to stop making vaccines if they weren't protected. The Vaccine Injury Compensation Program was born. Vaccine manufacturers are no longer liable from any harm that is caused by their products. How are people paid then for their injuries? That's the best part.... Every single vaccine given has a tax placed on it and put into a kitty, then when your child is killed or brain damaged and you go to court you are paid back from your own tax dollars.

Let me see if I have this straight. It is very likely that mandatory vaccinations will become a law but there is NO recourse to hold the manufacturers responsible if it harms your child? Seems legit.

I am going to say it again so it can sink in.

You could be forced to give a drug to your child that could seriously harm them and if it does there is no way for you to hold them responsible.

I may be forced to inject my child with something that has a side effect of DEATH. Yes, DEATH and will have no choice in the matter, you as well.

Do you think vaccine reactions aren't real?

Tell that to the mothers of perfectly healthy, walking and talking 2 year olds that took their child in for routine vaccinations and they collapsed and died 3 hours later.

Tell that to the mothers of the 4 month old babies that put their children down for a nap after their routine vaccinations and they died in their sleep.

Tell that to the mother of a child that could name all the colors and shapes, count to 50 and sing all the nursery rhymes and after their routine vaccinations they lost their ability to speak or feed themselves.

Tell that to me, the mother of a child who has been on steroids since she was 6 months old, tell that to me when I look at my child and wonder if she will suffer from osteoporosis at the ripe old age of 5 due to the side effects of all the medications she needs to keep her lungs working.

You think vaccine reactions are rare? That the small amount that have serious side effects are worth it for The Greater Good? Fine, give me your baby, lets add them to the list of vaccine injured children. If you are that concerned with all the immunocompromised children out there that you think its worth it, that my child's health doesn't matter, then give me yours, come on... lets trade.

For those of you that think that if we knew what death of a child looked like we would be screaming for vaccines...

I argue the opposite.

Some of us know what death of a child looks like FROM vaccines....

And then there's those of us that will be taking on a life time of medical care for our children FROM vaccines.....

For those of you thinking that we have stood under the protection of your "herd immunity" for too long.....

I argue the opposite.

WE have sacrificed enough of our children to The Greater Good so you can feel safe.

You're Welcome.

I am not Anti-Vaccine. I am not really Anti-Anything. I am Pro. I am Pro-Informed Consent. I am Pro-Being-Able-To-Make-Medical-Decisions-For-My-Own-Children. I am Pro-Being-A-Fierce-Advocate-For-My-Child. I am Pro-Not-Letting-The-Government-Dictate-My-Childs-Medical-Needs.

Ella does not and will not qualify for a medical exemption. In the eyes of the medical and scientific community what happened to her was an unfortunate set of circumstances that has nothing to do with her vaccinations. In reality you pretty much have to have a seizure on the table 30 seconds after receiving a vaccine in order to get a medical exemption and even then its iffy. So now, here I stand, and I am now looking at the possibility of being forced to inject my child with something that may cause us to have to medically induce a coma and stick a tube down her throat so she can breathe. I may be forced to play the same game of Russian Roulette with my baby Maxine and just hope for the best, to just hope that her lungs don't fail also.