[[Dude walks behind slow walker]] / Dude: Dear god, why is it I always manage to end up behind New Yorkers who walk slowly?? / Dude: Oh my god, this is almost as bad as the time I was at Disneyland with my mom and all her old friends. / [[Dude makes faces]] / Dude: duuuuuuhh...I walk like a 75-year-old...

[[Dude walks past panhandler]] / Panhandler: Hey buddy, spare a dollar so I can get subway fare? / Dude, I didn’t give a QUARTER to the one-legged Vietnam vet who had two eye patches, a voice box, metal plate in his ass, who had to leave his house because it was gutted by a fire, making him and his...

[[Dude sits on subway, guy next to him eats black licorice]] / Dude: Wow, this guy’s actually eating black licorice? / Dude: How much does he even have in there? / Dude: Oh geez, now he’s double fisting it. / Dude: Holy crap, how long can this go on for? / Dude: Okay, that’s it, I’m about to puke....

[[Dude, bags under his eyes]] / Dude: It’s not Friday, it shouldn’t be Friday right now. / Dude: Because yesterday should’ve been Friday, which means today should be Saturday. / Dude: But it’s not Saturday today,it’s wrong that it’s not Saturday, fix it god dammit! / {{blank comic, lazy, late night,...

[[Dude stands in hallway sweating]] / Smiley Guy: Man, you’re really sweating, did you run up the stairs? / Dude: Uh yeah. Stairs, that’s what it was. / [[Dude looks back at men's restroom]] / Dude: Or it took me half an hour to go number two. / {{bathroom, poop, number two}}

[[Dude walks to movie theater playing WALLACE & GROMIT THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT]] / [[Dude sits in movie theater]] / Announcer: And now a short film starring the penguins from the hit film “Madagascar!” / Dude: Excuse me? What the hell is this crap doing before this movie? / Dude: Maybe they...

[[Dude sits in the subway, a guy next to him is reading a book]] / Dude: Hmmm, I wonder whatthat guy’s reading. / Dude: “The Perils of Pus Infection??” / Dude: Oh geez, I’m going to be seeing/tasting that for the entire rest of the trip. / {{subway, book, reading, taste, pus}}

[[Dude locks up at his apartment]] / I love this time of the year. I can finally bundle up but I don’t have to wear any big heavy coats yet. / [[Dude walks on sidewalk]] / I‘ll put on my light scarf for starters... / And I also brought a small hat to wear. / [[Dude walks to subway entrance]] / Fall’s...

[[Dude walks to men's restroom]] / [[Dude sits in bathroom stall]] / Dude: Aw shoot, this guy has a magazine, there’s no telling how long he’s going to be here for. / Dude: It’s okay, I can do this. I can be stealthy it’s not so bad. / Dude: Aw shoot no I can’t. This is gonna take forever. / Dude:...

[[Dude checks mail]] / Mail: “Have you considered upgrading to a high-speed Internet connection but didn’t know where to start?” / Mail: “At Earthlink®, we believe the most powerful technology should be easy to install and affordable to use.” / Mail: “It’s now up to 100X faster than regular dialup-based...