Getting Ready to Go Chart

I’m a big believer in charts. I’ve seen lots of chore charts and homework charts at people’s homes over the years and thought to myself, “Wow!” I can’t believe that chart is 2 or 3 months old (some even continous from year to year) and the family is maintaining consistency with it. . .” I’m not there yet.

I have had luck with a few very specific charts with Gabriel so far. The first was a potty chart and amazingly he was trained within a few days at 2 1/2. The next two have been born from discipline dilemmas that became so overwhelmingly obnoxious that they required intense daily attention.

Last fall it was the Good Choices Chart. This targeted gentleness as a virtue – to his sister, to my furniture, to his toys etc. It went on longer than I would have liked, but earning the reward stickers were motivational for him, and as a completed chart reward we were in Target at 9 am the morning WALL-E came out on DVD.

I don’t know if this current chart would have come to be if –

A: It was not the end of January and I was on my last nerve with the freezing cold weather and all the child bundling OR

B: I was not in my 3rd trimester of my 3rd pregnancy

Nevertheless, here we are. This chart came as a result of Gabriel’s near daily, grating habit of resisting getting ready to go. Hence the name, the Getting Ready To Go Chart. The bottom line is that he ran in the opposite direction most times when asked to put shoes and coats on instead of putting them the heck on.

At home, this is annoying, but my house is not huge, and I have my discipline devises available (his bedroom, loss of priveleges etc.) When we are not home and he pulls this nonsense, it pushes things into a whole different category. Two fairly huge tantrums happened outside the house within two weeks giving it a tremendous shove from annoying to intolerable.

During the first, he refused to get ready to leave our MOMs group because I hadn’t let him go visit my mom who teaches in the lower level of the same building. Our car could not have been farther away and lunch and nap-time loomed before us, as on those days we have only 2 1/2 hours before we have to go back to school for work. I actually lost that battle. I NEVER give in during that kind of display, yet, as I weighed my options, it occurred to me I had no choice. I could not have carried both kids in the ice, up a long hill, to our car. We ended up spending the afternoon at school with me running out to pick up lunch, missing naps etc.

Last week, he threw one of those kicking and screaming two-year old style fits when it was time to leave Joyful Jumpers. I find I take it so much more personally since his 4th birthday. I feel defeated, look like an idiot, and all I can think is, “he’s not even a toddler – he’s four!” I know it’s silly, but I take it a step further now that I’m visibly pregnant because I assume people must be thinking, “how ’bout she gets a handle on those two instead of having another one?”

BUT, here’s the good news: The chart is working! We have a simple 20 space Incentive chart used by teachers for any number of things, and the chart, plus a sheet of stickers travel with us everywhere in my bag. When he’s filled all 20 spaces, we can return to Joyful Jumpers to play again. He knows that we can’t go now because I can’t take kids who won’t cooperate when we need to leave, and when the chart is full, I will know he’s ready. He’s filled 8 of 20 boxes so far. Maybe by the end of next week this will be largely behind us . . . here’s hoping!