Ajinkya Rahane retires from Test Cricket, joins TCS bench

Hyderabad. Fed up with being benched with the Indian cricket team, Indian cricketer Ajinkya Rahane has announced his retirement from Test Cricket and is seeking an alternative career by joining the IT services company TCS.

“I have grown tired of being on the bench. I have been the ‘Next Big Thing’ in Indian cricket for a couple of years now, but my chance to don the Indian cap has not yet materialized,” said a visibly distraught Rahane.

When pointed out by this Faking News reporter that he could be on bench even if he joins TCS, Rahane said, “At least, there will be a few girls around in that bench. And on a related note, let me clarify that I’d continue playing IPL.”

Rahane packing his bags for a new career

Suresh Krishnan, a senior HR manager in TCS welcomed Rahane’s decision, “He will be a valuable addition to the bench team. And we can allow him to play IPL if he doesn’t submit fake sick leaves for the rest of the year.”

Sources say that with Virender Sehwag being dropped, there was a possibility of Rahane being handed a test debut. But BCCI, using Cricket Australia’s Player Management system, concluded that owing to spending insane amounts of time on the bench, Rahane had an 87% chance of developing a backache; hence Shikhar Dhawan was picked for a test debut.

Following this decision, Michael Clarke is reported to have offered Rahane a place in Australian team for the rest of the ongoing test series.

“Considering the shambolic condition of my team, Rahane will be a valuable addition and we are willing to present him with the Order of Australia membership if he does agree to join our team,” Clarke admitted to have extended the offer to Rahane, who resisted temptations of being able to actually play a test match, and also being only the second Indian to be presented with the Order of Australia.

After much thinking, the 24-year-old batsman announced retirement from test cricket.

Ajinkya Rahane, a veteran of 0 tests, has 0 runs to his name at an average of 0. He has also held on to 0 catches and has 0 test wickets.

“It was my dream to play with him. I can’t believe he made such a hasty decision. I will miss him bringing drinks on the field. There is no replacement for experience,” Sachin Tendulkar reacted to the news.

“I have always maintained that a team should have a perfect blend of youth and experience. Same goes for the team on bench. He was our most experienced bench-warmer. His retirement has left a huge hole. We are hoping Manoj Tiwary gets well soon and fills that void,” Indian captain MS Dhoni said.

Manoj Tiwary was unavailable for comments as he was waiting for his doctor’s appointment on a bench in a clinic.