Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Friday, February 8, 2008

A Small Story

Megatron once told me 'If you're ever unsure what to do, destroy everything without a Decepticon symbol on it.' Unfortunately, I wasn't paying attention at the time, so I heard it as 'Destroy everything.'

These are words to live by. You humans like to pretend that violence does not solve problems. It's been my observation that if violence doesn't solve a problem, you're not using enough of it.

You see, there are two primary ways to deal with something you don't like. The first goes like this: you can ignore it and hope it goes away. Now, this is an excellent strategy if you're low on Energon or just plain too lazy to do something about. It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in reality, I'm actively waiting for my problems to leave.

The other option is 'hit it until there's nothing left'. I far prefer this one. This is why, yesterday, I razed an entire town.

You see, the place where I live seems to be getting tired of me randomly sending people to the intensive care unit. I can't understand why - I would think the doctors would be happy for the increase in work. But, regardless, they decided to send a couple cops and a few Autobots to politely ask me to stop. Apparently, they don't realize that being a giant death machine comes with certain privileges. I cleared that misconception really quick.

But, unhappy with the fact that they had to hire a new police force, they sent out more to bother me. They are slow learners, these humans. By the third round though, it was just getting annoying. So I got a couple of Decepticon war-buddies together, inebriated them on rich Energon, and marched us downtown to have a talk with the mayor. One thing lead to another, and, well, a good portion of the city went up in flames.

The moral of today's story is 'Leave Bonecrusher alone when he wants to be alone.' Also 'If it annoys you, blow it up.' Good? Good.

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