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My True Love

I sat, despondent, on the couch, staring at the credits scrolling past on my TV. I did not have it in me to get up and change the DVD. I looked at the remote, hit the menu button, then started the movie again. Chris had gone into work, leaving me alone. I wanted to take another pain pill, but I couldn’t, not for three more hours.

I hurt, and I was alone.

Someone knocked on my door.

“Hold on, I’m coming, but I’m moving slow,” I called out.

It felt like an ice age to get me from the couch to the door. The pain management medicine skewed my perspective. For all, I know I actually sped over to the door.

I peeked to see Pat standing outside my door. I unbolted the chain and opened the door.

“Oh honey,” Pat said as soon as she saw me. She stood there with her arms full of grocery bags. What is it with the urge to feed people when they get sick or hurt?

She put her bags down and folded me into a large warm mommy hug. I needed a mommy hug, it was the best thing ever. So, of course, I started crying.

She eased me back onto the couch, pulled her bags in from the landing, and closed the door before joining me.

“What’s wrong?” She eased my head onto her shoulder.

I gulped and kept crying. “I just miss my mom, and I hurt. And I’m alone.”

“What?” I asked sniffing back my tears. I honestly did not expect to see Pat. I pretty much figured she didn’t like me and had just been playing nice since I was a surprise guest in her house.

“I’m here because my son is in love with you, whether he’s figured it out or not, and he is worried about you. You don’t need to be alone right now. I came figuring you could use a mom seeing how yours is across the country.”

I rested against her shoulder, just taking comfort that someone was here to mother me.

We sat like that for several minutes before I adjusted and let Pat get up.

“I brought all the ingredients for the butterscotch bars, and Chris said something about you liking bacon cheddar mashed potatoes. So I brought bacon, and cheese, and potatoes. You can tell me how to make that for dinner.” She carried the bags of food into the kitchen and began pulling things out onto the counter, and away into the refrigerator. “It looks like you are well stocked.”

“Yeah, my coworkers pulled out the stops and brought over all kinds of stuff. Which is good, because I didn’t have any food.”

Pat made herself familiar with my kitchen and began baking butterscotch bars.

I picked up my phone and texted Chris to let him know his mom had shown up.

He called me back, I picked up on the first ring.

“Hi.” I may have been overly enthusiastic to hear his voice.

“Hi, yourself. So mom’s there? Good, she said she would drive down.”

“I was definitely surprised, but I’m glad she’s here. She’s already baking. I think there is enough food in this apartment that I can safely eat myself into a food coma for the duration of my recovery.”

“You should rest, take a nap if you need to. You’ve got mom in case you need help with anything.”

I nodded and yawned, the nap suggestion was already working on my fuzzy brain.

“Are you coming by tonight?” I asked.

“I have to swing by my place to pick up some more clothes after work, but after that, I’ll come straight home.” He said.

“I like that. I like that a lot. I’ll see you later.”

“Call me if you need anything at all okay?”

“I will,” I said then I hung up the phone. I got to my feet and shuffled into the kitchen. “I’m going to go take a nap. You’ll be okay if I go pass out?” I asked Pat.

“You go rest. I’ll be fine. I can figure out how the TV works if I need anything I’ll just call Chris.”

I nodded and made my way back to my bedroom.

When I woke up the apartment smelled heavenly.

“I made butterscotch bars,” Pat announced as I shuffled into the living room.

“I can smell.” I closed my eyes and thought of Chris. I would forever associate this with him. “Can I have one? Or ten?”

Pat chuckled, she handed me two after I made myself comfortable on the couch.

“So what’s the plan?” I asked between bites.

“No plan, you don’t need anyone to cook. So I’m here for company, and to make sure you don’t need anything. A little later, I’ll let you talk me through those fancy mashed potatoes.”

I smiled as Pat took a seat. “I’m glad you’re here. I was really feeling sorry for myself after Chris left for work this morning. I didn’t want to be alone all of a sudden.”

“Good thing he called home, and that I have a flexible schedule. Grace is at work, and Mike is in school, so here I am.” She shifted in her chair. “Nat, I need to apologize again for what you overheard.”

I shook my head. She had apologized several times before we left. “You were expressing concern for your son. Nothing you said was really a personal attack. Just pointing out I am different. I’ve had time to think about it. I’ve met his ex, so I think Mike got it in his mind that women Chris like all look a certain way, and that Chris is a certain way. However old Mike was when that impression was made, it had been that way for a while. So in Mike’s head that’s the way it should be. Chris has changed along the way. Chris has been different for a while, even before I showed up on the scene. But with me being so much more different than his last girlfriend, it just pushed Mike’s buttons, and his reality is shifting, on top of that he’s sixteen, so his reality is already skewed.”

“You are being very understanding.”

“I think it’s the drugs talking. I’m not typically this insightful. He was still rude, and I’m not going to give him a pass on that. I just think I understand where it’s coming from.”

None of our other conversations for the rest of the afternoon were that deep.

Pat fried bacon, and I sat in the kitchen grating cheese. She had already boiled and mashed the potatoes, we were now preparing the goodies to be mixed in before it was put back into the oven to bake. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I typically use the frozen pucks of mashed potatoes or instant potato flakes. This would taste better with real potatoes anyway.

Chris walked in the door much earlier than I expected. He came straight to me and gently wrapped his arms around me before kissing me. He stroked the hair back from my face, “how are you feeling?”

“I’ve been good today. Your mom has been really helpful.”

He looked up, still holding me, “hi mom. Thanks for coming.” He released me, then gave his mom a quick hug.

I saw the look on her face. It was a mixture of pride and a touch of sadness. The pride that her son had found a woman to love and take care of, sadness that she had lost him to me. And that’s when I knew for certain, that on the twelfth day of Christmas I had found my true love.

Piping Hot Tamales

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my hot date gave to me some pain pills, and some cute gay men brought me tamales.

I groaned and tried to move. Everything hurt.

“Shh, its okay.” Chris wrapped around me. I relaxed into his warmth.

“I need to pee,” I said.

Chris was up and helping me to the bathroom door, then left me on my own.

I wasn’t so bad off I needed help going to the bathroom, and our relationship wasn’t to that point yet. At least I didn’t think so. I carefully made my way back to bed.

Chris followed me with a glass of water and some pills. “Here, you can have more pain meds.”

I swallowed the pills and handed him back the glass. I noticed the clock across the room. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” I felt groggy with sleep and groggy from the muscle relaxers. “I need to call in. It’s so late.”

“I’ve already called in for both of us. They know you won’t be in all week. I even sent over a picture of the orders from the doctor.”

“Thank you.” I whimpered.

“I’m taking the day to take care of you, and to deal with my car. Insurance is supposed to get me a rental today or tomorrow.”

“You can borrow mine if you need to run errands. I’m not driving anytime soon.” I volunteered.

“Thanks, I will this afternoon. Right now it’s be lazy in bed and hold you.” He indicated I needed to lay back down so he could curl up around me again.

I moved slowly and carefully back into him. He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his nose into my hair by my ear.

“I’m staying with you today because I need this. I was scared last night, scared I had let you get hurt. Scared because they made me deal with my stupid car when they took you away to the hospital. I had to tell everyone we were engaged just so they would let me into the ER with you.”

My stomach did a little flip at the idea.

“I’m falling in love with you Nat. Last night made that clear to me.”

I tried to roll over to look at him. Instead, I gasped with pain and tensed up.

Chris sat up. “What? Are you okay?”

“Come over here so I can see your face,” I said through winces of pain.

The black eye he got had really bloomed over night. He looked worried and beat. I lay my hand against his cheek. “That’s the most wonderful thing I have ever heard. All I wanted was you to be near me last night. I wasn’t scared when you were around.” I ran my fingers through the thick hair on top of his head. “I love butterscotch. Be my butterscotch?”

He gave me the sweetest, most toe-curling kiss. It could have progressed to something hotter, and more intense but Chris kept it in check. I’m sure my flinching with pain in the middle of it put a damper on things.

We spent the day just hanging out in quiet company, watching movies on TV.

Chris put me down for a nap before he left to run some errands and get a few things from his place.

I felt muzzy headed after my nap. Chris came back and changed the DVD for me. It was nice to have him around, nice to have someone bend over for things I currently could not manage on my own. And nice to have around simply because I liked him.

“What do you want for dinner?” Chris asked as he rummaged through my cupboards. I didn’t have too much food on hand since I hadn’t gone shopping over the weekend like I typically did.

“You gonna cook?” I asked.

“If I can find something to make I will.”

“You cook?” I asked jokingly.

“You’ve met my parents. Of course, I cook. I can do more than run a grill too.”

I leaned against the wall and watched as Chris started to pull food out.

We both turned when there was a knock on the door. I stayed put as Chris went to open it.

“Boyfriend you look beat up. How’s my girl?” Blake asked as he swept in, followed by the good looking man I saw him at the movies with. Both of them were laden down with groceries and aluminum foil pans.

The food brigade had landed. The department I was in at work had a support system, whenever someone was sick and going to miss work for more than a few day, or was injured, or had someone at home in bad shape, we fed them. Those of us who lived close enough went home for lunch and cooked. Others hit the delis and grocery stores.

“Natalie this is Scott. Scott, Chris, Natalie.” Blake introduced us as he unpacked a variety of homemade meals and deli contributions from pre-sliced fruit and a rotisserie chicken to several casseroles and bags of chips. They also brought bottles of soda, and a six pack of beer.

“Oh wow, Jane and Lupa really outdid themselves,” I said eyeing the tamales and enchilada casserole. My standard contribution of bacon cheddar mashed potatoes was missing, then again this time I was the recipient of all the food.

“You probably have a few holiday leftovers here from the look of it,” Chris said as he started putting stuff away in the fridge.

“Even better,” I said. “I don’t have to worry about cooking or anything for at least a week.”

Leaping

I leaned over the edge of the bed and watched Chris sleep. He really was handsome, even in sleep with his features slack, and making light snoring noises.

He snorted and shifted. I watched as he blinked a few times, and ran a hand over his face. I giggled seeing his shorts tented in the front.

He blearily looked at me, then followed my gaze. He put a pillow over his lap.

“That’s natural.” He said, his voice still groggy with sleep.

“I know it is. It’s still impressive.”

“It’s trying to show off for you. Giving you a sneak peek for tonight.” He chuckled.

I giggled some more. Chris rolled over, then crawled to the side of the bed and kissed me. “Good morning. You are beautiful when you wake up.” He kissed me again.

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” Chris called.

“Good morning,” Grace said as she eased into the room. She paused when she saw our sleeping arrangement. “Oh dear, this isn’t because of yesterday?”

Chris cut her off. “No, this is because of where we are in our relationship. This has nothing to do with Mom or Mike.”

“You should have said, we just assumed. That’s what I get for leaping to conclusions. You should have said something, we could have figured something more comfortable out. You haven’t brought someone home in so long. Well, we figured she was,” Grace paused. “Special.”

“This was fine, we were plenty comfortable.” Chis looked up at me, reaching for me, “she is special mom. I don’t have to be sleeping with her to know that.”

I blushed hard.

Grace smiled. It was a lovely warm smile that showed how much she loved her son. And it felt nice to have the same smile directed at me. “I just wanted to let you know we were going to be off running some errands this morning, but we’ll be back for lunch. How late are you planning on staying today?”

Chris looked up at me and shrugged. “I guess we’ll head back after lunch?”

I nodded in agreement. I was eager to get Chris home. Alone.

She closed the door and we were alone again. Chris stroked the side of my face. He looked at me with an expression that made my gut clench and my toes curl. There was a lot of emotion in that look.

“You are very special Natalie, I hope you know that.”

I closed my eyes and leaned against his palm.

“I am so totally in like with you Chris.”

“I’m in like with you too Nat.” He laughed and kissed me.

I’m special and we’re in like. It was a good feeling. I’m not sure if I had changed, or if Chris had, but there was a definite change in us today, knowing what would happen when we got back to my apartment. I held on to his hand a bit more, I leaned against him a bit more. It felt like he held on to me longer when he pulled me into his embrace. We were constantly touching.

Lunch with his parents was pleasant, made more so by the noted absence of his jerky brother, who had decided to go hang out with friends.

Grace hugged us both, and Pat actually gave me the rest of the butterscotch bars to take home. The butterflies in my stomach started a riot as soon as Chris pulled out of the driveway. In less than two hours we should be back at my apartment.

“What are you so giddy about?” Chris asked.

“I’m not giddy. I’m nervous.” I confessed.

“What is there to be nervous about?”

“Seriously?” I glared at him.

“Oh right, that.” He chuckled. “Yeah.” He sighed.

“You aren’t nervous?” Why wasn’t he nervous? Why is it that the girl has to be the nervous one about being seen naked for the first time, and guys seem to be perfectly fine with it. Like its no big deal.

Chris navigated through neighborhood traffic once he pulled off the freeway. He pulled into a corner drug store and shut off the car.

“I’ll be right back.” He announced as he jumped out of the car.

I stared at him when he slid back into the car. He handed me a small brown bag before he started the car and pulled out of the parking spot/

“Whats this?” I said as I eagerly looked in the bag.

It contained a black box with gold lettering.

“Oh.” I giggled nervously

There was a loud bang. And I jerked to the side.

“Natalie!” I heard Chris yell.

My head hurt. Bright lights and confusion. People kept asking me my name. My leg hurt. I sat in the car and was told not to move. I don’t think I could have moved if I wanted to. I groaned.

Large capable arms moved me to a board, then I remember seeing sky. Flashes of colorful lights illuminated the trees. I could hear faint arguing somewhere behind me. Someone was asking me my name and the date again.

“This will pinch.” A voice said, then I felt a sharp stab.

I vaguely remember them closing the box doors around me.

“Natalie, Natalie, I need you to wake up.” A gentle hand rested on my shoulder. I yawned, then discovered I couldn’t stretch or move. My eyes shot open in panic.

The nurse chuckled. “You’re restrained because they didn’t want you moving before they could find out the extent of your injuries. Do you remember the accident?”

“Vaguely. How’s Chris?” I asked.

“Who? Oh, the driver? My understanding is he’s fine and should be here soon. He didn’t ride over in the ambulance with you.” She explained nothing. I was strapped down in an emergency room,with no Chris to tell me what was going on.

“I’m supposed to ask, was there a dog in the car with you? Or a cat maybe?” The nurse asked.

“No.” I wanted to shake my head, but there was a strap across my forehead holding me still. “Why?”

“The EMT said you kept muttering about butterscotch. They thought it might have been a dog once they realized you weren’t asking candy.”

I snorted a small laugh. I started humming I want candy in my head. “No, dog. Huh. I wonder what I was thinking?” I said out loud. I knew exactly what I was thinking. I wanted Chris, even if he was just nearby, sitting in the room with me, or holding my hand. I wanted to know he was safe. I wanted his presence so that I would feel safe.

“Oh well. Sometimes those pain meds make people say strange things. Someone will be in here soon to take you for x-rays. We’re gonna keep you strapped down until we know for certain okay?”

“Okay,” I muttered. She left me alone, and I started to cry. This was not how I thought tonight was going to go.

He had a butterfly bandage across his eyebrow, A bruise had already started to develop around his eye, other than that he just looked tired. Or was that worry? He began stroking the side of my face.

“God, I’m so sorry. Does it hurt?”

I smiled weakly at him. “I’m on some good shit. I can’t feel anything. What happened?”

“Some asshole who doesn’t think the hands-free law apply to him t-boned us. He plowed right through a red light. Slammed into the back door, right behind you, as I pulled out.”

“Are you hurt?” I asked.

“Just a little banged up.” he touched the bandage above his eye.

“How bad am I hurt?” I was afraid to ask, but I needed answers. I started crying again.

“The EMTs said you looked ok, but because it’s your back they are being safe.” He brushed tears from my cheeks. The expression on his face was so gentle, so full of concern.

“I don’t like being on this board, it scares me,” I confessed.

“I know honey. You aren’t hurt bad, they are just being overly cautious. Once you get x-rays and they can tell what’s going on with you, they’ll let you off it.” His thumb stroked back and forth across my brow in a soothing motion.

“Knock, knock.” I heard a new voice and the sound of divider curtains swishing to the side. “Hi Natalie, I’m Diego. I’m here to wheel you off to get some scans done, then you can get off this board. Unless you’re really into this bondage deal.”

I heard Chris chuckle.

“I tried to use my safe-word with the nurse earlier. She did not go for it. I don’t think you guys understand how this bondage thing is supposed to work.”

Chris laughed, Diego laughed. That was good, I may be strapped to a board, but I at least had my sense of humor.

“Boyfriend you stay here, and I’ll bring her back as soon as we’re done. Natalie, I’m gonna need you to tell me more about this safe-word of yours.”

I got a great view of hallway ceilings and recessed lighting as Diego rolled me into x-ray.

They kept me strapped up for the x-rays, then Diego returned me to Chris.

“They asked me if we had a dog. Or if I knew why you kept asking for butterscotch?” Chris asked as soon as we were alone again.

I gave a small laugh. “Come here, I want to see you.” A second later, Chis stood over me. I wanted to reach up and thread my fingers through the thick hair on the top of his head. I couldn’t. I was still strapped down.“Your hair is butterscotch.”

“What?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out a color to describe your hair for days. And I figured it out at your parent’s house. Butterscotch. I must not have been confused from the accident, and instead of asking for you, I got stuck on the color of your hair.” I explained.

“Hi Natalie, I’m Doctor Stephens. I don’t know if you remember seeing me earlier. You were a bit dazed from the pain killers.”

I didn’t remember him.

“Let’s go ahead get her off the board, and get her a corset.” I heard him say to someone.

Dr. Stephens stepped into my vision. “You hit your head on the window, gave yourself a goose egg and a small concussion. Your hip has a sizable contusion, but you’re x-rays are clear. You complained of pain in your low back, so let’s watch that. I want you in a brace for a week or two. I suspect you’ve sprained your back.” As he spoke he removed the straps from my arms and forehead. He grabbed my hand and elbow and helped me into a sitting position.

“Rest. I don’t want you going back to work for the rest of the week. Listen to your body. If something doesn’t feel right call my office. If its acute pain, come back into the ER.” He glanced at me, scanning me up and down. “No gym, no dancing, no physical activities other than gentle walking for at least two weeks.” He shifted his gaze to Chris, then back to me. “No physical activities that uses your lower back including intercourse, you do not want to cause further soft tissue injury.”

I was too doped up to blush. But I heard Chris clear his throat nervously.

“And don’t see a chiropractor for at least a month. Your bones look great. Heat then ice, then give it a break. No serious massages for a while either.”

He turned as the nurse came back in with a sizable package. He handed Chris a stack of papers. “Work excuse, and pain prescriptions.” Chris nodded.

“Follow up with my office in the morning, I’ll want to see you in two to three weeks.” He shook my hand, then shook Chris’s and left.

The nurse strapped me into the back brace and showed me how to get in and out of it. It was a corset. It sucked me in and forced good posture on me.

I was free to go.

Chris picked up all of my things. The EMTs had placed my purse at my feet when they wheeled me away from the accident. He walked with me slowly, as I made my way out of the room. I was stiff, and my head spun from the pain medication.

“Damn,” he whispered in my ear as we waited for our Uber ride. I turned to look at him. He had one eyebrow lifted as he smirked at me. Sigh. That expression was sexy as hell.

“I know it’s a back brace, but that is doing some amazing things to your figure.”

I glanced down. Yes, it was, extreme good posture, some waist cinching, and BAM! The boobs stood out even further.

Chris’s hand caressed my hip. “Looks like we have a dating schedule after all.” He chuckled.

“I guess so. I mean. Okay.” I turned to face him. “That was going to happen tonight, right? I’m not just imagining things. We weren’t just throwing innuendos around to flirt?”

Chris gently wrapped his arms around me. “I still have every intention of spending the night with you. Only now we will be actually sleeping.”

Ladies Dancing

I slept in. Chris was already gone by the time I woke up. I padded my way down the long hall. I wanted to see if I could snag one of those delicious butterscotch bars for breakfast. I heard voices in the kitchen, and headed that way, figuring I would find Chris there.

The voices began to sound strained, so I paused.

“I like her a lot. Will you try to be nice?” I heard Chris’s voice. I leaned against the wall so I could listen in.

“But why?” Mike whined.

“Because I’m serious.” Serious? That’s a big word in a relationship. I think I just fell even harder.

“I’m glad you found someone son, but Mike’s right, she’s not your usual type,” Pat said. Funny. Pat maybe mom now, but her words seemed more like a dad to me. Of course Pat had years of dad first before she became a mom.

“What? A beautiful woman?” Chris asked. I think I needed to kiss him for that.

“She’s fat.” Mike was not my favorite person right now. I turned to leave. I didn’t need to listen to this. Chris’s family was skewering me. Okay fine, I’m not what they had in mind for their son and brother, but it really wasn’t their decision.

I turned to leave but found Grace standing next to me. Her finger lay over her lips in a shushing gesture. She placed a hand on my forearm to keep me in place.

“What Mike means is she’s not, well,” Pat paused, searching for a word. “She is not as physically fit as you have always been drawn to.”

“She’s not fat, she’s, she’s average. And how do you know she’s not fit?” Chris defended me again. My heart beat hard with emotion. It was difficult to listen to someone tear you down, but Chris’s replies made me smile, even though I had started crying.

“She’s a cow. She’s always spilling food on her shirt. And her boobs are huge.” Mike said that like it was a bad thing, a very bad thing.

“She is well endowed, that’s different for you.” Pat seemed to be on Mike’s side. Did she think I was a cow too?

“So she’s chesty. Breasts are amazing, I’m wondering how I never realized that before. Yes, she’s different physically, that’s because I’ve been a jackass for only looking at a woman’s shape to determine her worth. And I only ever dated runners. Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder if I haven’t been wrong about my physical type all these years. And you know something, that’s really rich coming from you. You weren’t even the same gender when you and mom got married. So don’t talk to me about physical types.” Chris barked at them.

“Man the sex must be something else. She has you so whooped.”

A crash, a thud, and a lot of cussing.

Mike ran past us with a bloody nose. Chris stormed out after him. He stopped when he saw me. He took one look at the tears streaming down my face and pulled me into his arms. He held me tight, slowly rocking back and forth. I held on to him like he was my life saver in a drowning pool.

“Aw crap,” I heard Pat. Clearly, she had followed her sons out into the hall. “How much of that did she hear?” She asked.

“All of it.” Grace sounded pissed.

“I’m sorry.” Pat started.

“Not now mom,” Chris said into my hair.

We just stood holding onto each other for a while. He leaned back and wiped my tears. “My brother is an asshole.”

I nodded in agreement.

“And what they said was stupid. You know that right?”

I nodded some more.

He pulled me in for more hugging. “And your breasts are outstanding.”

“You like my boobs?” I sniffled.

“I like you, and its pretty cool you come with the boobs. I like the boobs.” He said into my hair.

“Let’s get out of here. Grab your skates, we’ll get lunch somewhere then hit the beach for skating.”

I nodded.

“I need to change,” I said.

“Okay. I’ll be out front.”

I nodded and padded back down the hallway to his bedroom.

Now skating I love, it feels like I’m flying. I don’t know if Chris got the same adrenaline rush from it as I did, but skating right now was a really good idea. It would whisk away the hurt feelings and the overwhelming sense of worthlessness.

I had to dress right. There was a sense of badassery that was supported by short shorts and stripey knee socks. Plus I really wanted to look hot for Chris. I rubbed chaffing gel on my inner thighs. Yes, they were a bit on the larger size, and yes they touched, but they didn’t need to court unnecessary chub rub.

His grin said it all, he definitely liked my skating look. “Damn, you’re sexy.” He put his hands on my hips and looked me up and down.

I heard Mike scoff, and watched him get into the back of his parent’s car.

“Mom insists that we all have lunch and go to the beach together. It’s her way of trying to smooth things over. I tried to explain that you might not want to be around Mike for a few hours, but I lost.” Chris spoke through his teeth. He was not happy about the whole thing. “However, I do get to drive you alone, in my car. You do not have to be in a car with that little asshole.”

I sighed. “I can play nice through lunch. But once we’re on skates all bets are off.”

“Why do I get the feeling you aren’t telling me something?” Chris asked.

“Let’s just say I have a surprise of my own.”

Lunch was strained, tasty but strained.

We geared up in a parking lot near the trailhead. Chris said the trail made its way past the beach and continued on out for a while. I put on my knee pads before lacing on my skates. I stood slipping on wrist guards when Mike did a hockey stop in front of me, trying to show off and be intimidating all at once.

I stood with my hand on my hip and glared at him. I could squash him, and yet there he was trying to intimidate me.

Mike continued to laugh. “All dressed up so we think you play roller derby?” He mocked.

I didn’t move, my expression the same.

“Mikey, I think the answer is she does play roller derby.” Chris smacked his brother on the shoulder, hard. Mike wobbled on his roller blades. Chris grabbed my hand and we rolled off together.

“So is this the surprise?” He asked.

“Sort of, I said I skate, I meant it. Maybe Pat and Mike will see that a fit woman can also have some body fat.” I took off.

I flew. Chris chased after me and kept up without any problems.

We skated, swerving in and around walkers and cyclists. I showed off and jumped over curbs, and on top of planters. My knee pads got used as I came crashing down more than once, but that’s why I wore them. I let the rush of wind and the adrenaline whisk away my worries.

I sat laughing on a grass embankment. “I needed that,” I said as Chris joined me.

“So roller derby? Really?”

“I sort of played before I moved here. Mostly just the workout team, and practice. I never made it onto the actual team. It’s a lot harder than people think. But it got me onto skates, and I love them. And I love that I don’t have to be skinny to enjoy it, and,” I grabbed my boobs and bounced them up and down. “These don’t get in the way.”

“You totally owned my little brother.”

“Good,” I said with wicked delight. That was the plan. “So do we wait for everyone else to catch up, or do we head back?”

Chris lay back and looked up at the sky. He reached up and grabbed my hand. “We can stay here for a bit before heading back.” I lay back to watch the clouds with him.

A soft breeze moved the clouds around, changing their shapes so they looked like ladies dancing on the wind.

Chris sat on the floor, on his makeshift bed. “I’m sorry my brother was such an ass all weekend.”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to say it was okay because it wasn’t. He really hurt my feelings. I let out a derisive snort. “But I showed him, didn’t I? Little twerp couldn’t figure out how to talk without putting his foot in it all afternoon.”

Mike couldn’t keep up with us skating. I’m sure there are other sports he would beat my ass in, but not today on skates. “Maybe he’ll learn to not be so fast to judge someone by their looks.”

“He’s an idiot, he won’t learn. I know mom got schooled. Plus I think she got in trouble.” Chris chuckled.

“She certainly tried to make up for it after that. Your moms are great. Sometimes we all say stupid hurtful things, as long as she realized it. I think she is genuinely sorry. Not so much Mike, but so what, I’m not here to impress him.”

“No?” Chris asked. “Who are you here to impress?”

“Hopefully you.” I stood over Chris in my pink unicorn jammies, forcing him to look up. I laced my fingers through his butterscotch hair. Yeah, butterscotch, sweet but not a sticky flavor, a sophisticated candy. That color left a better taste on my tongue than beer or dead grass did.

He put a hand on the back of my thigh and slid it up. I knelt down so that I straddled his lap. His hands grabbed my butt. “I’m very impressed.”

It was sexy, it was hot. It was going to lead to more. Especially the way he held on to me, and kissed me.

“I want you but I can’t do this with your parents in the next room, at least not the first time,” I spoke against his mouth.

He kissed me back.

“And what happens tomorrow when I take you home?” He nuzzled my neck.

“You stay the night.”

His kisses were magical; they took me out of my body and sent me out among the stars.

“You should go to bed. The sooner you fall asleep the sooner tomorrow comes.” His voice was rough with emotion.

“You’re eager for tomorrow?” I asked.

He didn’t answer, just pulled me in closer for more kissing.

I reluctantly left Chris’s lap and crawled into the bed, leaving him alone on the floor. “You could join me up here you know.”

He shook his head. “No, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t get any sleep.”

“We aren’t going to do anything.” I reminded him.

“I know, and that’s why I wouldn’t be able to sleep, not with you right there. Too much temptation. It’s safer down here.”

“Suit yourself.” I rolled over and pretended to sleep. It was a very long night. I had never been so eager for a long weekend to be over.

A Quiet New Year

On the eighth day of Christmas, there were no milking maids, but there was a blue whale.

After the ball dropped and the glasses clinked, Chris and I eventually went to bed. I didn’t make him sleep out on the couch, even though he did volunteer. However, he did sleep on the floor. Sleeping in the same room was more like a sleepover with my new best friend.

We stayed up a few hours more talking about anything and everything. There were lots of “no ways” and “me too’s.” It was nice laying there in the dark listening to his voice.

The house was quiet when I woke up. Chris snuffled and made almost no sound. Nice. He’s not a snorer. I watched him sleep for a few minutes. So cute. My bladder insisted it was time to get up, so I heeded its impending need.

I crept towards the kitchen, being quiet in case everyone else was still asleep. There were no other noises, no TV, or music, or coffee maker gurgling that I could hear. I made it to the kitchen without seeing anyone. I really was the first one up. According to the clock, it was just past noon, we all slept in.

Everything for coffee already lived on the counter behind the coffee maker. This certainly made things easier. I started a pot, then tip-toed back to Chris’s room and grabbed my phone. I took a mug of steaming coffee onto the back deck and called my folks. I loved the back deck, it didn’t have a view, but it was outside in lovely weather, the whole point of relocating myself to California.

“Happy New Year!” My mom and dad yelled into the phone.

“Happy New Year,” I replied a little more reserved. “It looks like I’m the first one up here.”

“Did you party too much last night?” Dad yelled. They always yelled on speaker phone. I don’t know if it was because they thought I couldn’t hear them, or they couldn’t hear me.

“No, it was a quiet evening. We hung out and watched TV. But we did stay up pretty late talking.”

“So,” my mom began. “Who is this person again?”

“He’s a friend from work. The one I told you about on Christmas.”

“And you’re meeting his parents already?” The tone of my mother’s voice was mischievous, conniving, and if I wasn’t blushing so hard, really annoying.

“It’s not like that.” I lied to her. Because it was like that. This totally was a meet-the-parents deal, I could feel it in my gut. The problem was, I was still getting used to the fact that Chris liked me as much as he claimed. I know I certainly liked him that much.

I distracted my mother by talking about the weather. I missed the snow and the cold, for about fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with her.

I eased back into the kitchen, trying to stay quiet, to refill my coffee, and to snag another one of those butterscotch bars for breakfast.

Mike jumped up on the deck, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He grunted when I said hi.

“Are you just getting back, or have you already been up and out?” I asked.

“What’s it to you?” he snarled. Lovely kid.

“Curious. I think everyone inside is still asleep, that’s all.” I explained.

“Those aren’t for breakfast.” His tone finished with an unspoken ‘are you stupid?’ “Breakfast is supposed to be protein or fruit. You know healthy food.”

I turned when I heard the door behind me slide open. I grinned at Chris. His arrival fixed my mood and wiped the sarcastic response I had for Mike from my lips. Chris’s hair stuck up funny, and his face looked sleepy hovering above the steaming mug.

“Morning.” He croaked. His voice wasn’t working yet. “Where were those?” He asked nodding at the butterscotch bar in my hand.

“On top of the microwave,” I answered.

He disappeared back into the kitchen, returning with one of the bars in his hand.

“So what are you two talking about?” Chris pulled a chair to sit close to me.

“Mike was telling me how eating a cookie for breakfast is unhealthy.

Chris snorted. “Bullshit.” He shot his brother a glare. “I’ve seen you eat cold pizza for breakfast.”

Mike rolled his eyes and stood. “Whatever.” He brushed past Chris. “You should be out running.”

The glare Mike shot me clearly indicated that was a dig for me.

“Dude take a shower before moms catch a whiff, you stink of weed.”

“Is he always so charming?” Brothers could be a sensitive matter, but this kid was being a grade-A jerk.

“He was cute when he was little. He’s been an ass since puberty kicked his butt. Don’t worry, I won’t go all protective big brother on you if you need to call him out on his shit. He didn’t grow up with Clara riding his ass so he has no manners. Sometimes I think the moms are too easy on him.”

“Clara?” I asked.

“My older sister. She was eighteen when the twerp was born. So he gets the loving older sister, not the evil sibling struggle for dominance that I had to deal with.” Chris’s smile warmed my toes, or maybe that was the coffee. I really liked being with Chris. We were both in our pajamas, both with bed-head, and both smiling at each other without any self-conscious worries. This was good, this is how it’s supposed to be, right?

We were still smiling like fools when Grace joined up on the patio.

“Oh, it is nice out here.” She exclaimed. “What are your plans for the day?”

Chris looked at me. I shrugged. I had no idea what there was to do in Santa Barbara.

“Why not? It’ll be neat. I’ll go get ready.” I jumped up to change. Chris grabbed my wrist as I walked past him. I looked down into his eyes. He tugged my wrist. I leaned down and kissed him, right there in front of his mother.

“Take your time.” He smiled at me, and I stepped into the house.

~*~*~*~

We held hands. I leaned into Chris’s shoulder, it was sturdy and strong. We looked at old buildings. There is definitely a reason it’s called mission style architecture whenever you see a building similar in style. Cause that’s what missions look like.

Actually, the architecture and grounds were lovely. I just was mostly focused on Chris, and being near Chris. We could have been at a mall and I would have paid just as much attention to my surrounding. And I would have been just as happy because I was with Chris.

We were good, and we didn’t make out while at the mission. That just didn’t seem appropriate. But we did make-out once we wandered over to the rose garden. Kissing Chris left me breathless and thinking about doing more than kissing. Necking in public put a damper on how far either of us was willing to go.

“So what do you want to do now?” I asked when we both finally came up for air.

The expression on Chris’s face answered my question, but that was not an option right now. I wasn’t dressed for hiking, so that wasn’t an option either, and we already had lunch.

“What do you feel like doing?” He countered.

I shrugged. “Movies? Zoo? Museum?” I offered a list of suggestion.

“There’s a natural history museum nearby. That’s always fun in a school field trip kind of way.”

I met Chad. Chad is huge. And I do mean huge. They always say that blue whales are big, but until I was standing next to Chad, the skeleton of a blue whale, I really didn’t quite comprehend that. And I found out that a clean and dried skeleton can shrink as much as twenty percent, that means Chad was even bigger when he was out in the ocean swimming around with his little fishie pals.

“Wanna see the planetarium show?” He asked. I nodded.

The place teemed with kids. I think we were the only adults in there without children in tow.

I blinked and tried to reorient my brain after leaning back to watch the presentation. “The soothing voice of the narrator almost knocked me out,” I confessed.

Chris yawned. “I know, I think I may have dozed a bit.” We watched a mom carrying a passed out toddler walk past us. “I see we weren’t the only ones affected.”

Chris led me through the exhibitions. They caught my attention better than the mission had. We spent entirely too long picking out our favorite butterflies, and I pushed Chris through the room of birds. They creeped me out for some reason.

“Now what?” We continued to hold hands as we slowly made our way back to his car.

“Home, dinner, TV. Or we could go see a movie tonight. Or we could go back to that drag show.”

“Or home and pass out?” I yawned. “Stick a fork in me, I am done.”

“How about we pick up a DVD for after dinner. Then it’s no big deal if you fall asleep.”

I’m not sure how, but Chris did accurately predict I would fall asleep after dinner while watching the movie. I remembered it starting, the next thing I can remember is Chris gently waking me up to lead me back to bed. I fell back to sleep as soon as he tucked me in.

Seven Swimming Swans Court

I dumped my bags in my cubicle and headed upstairs to see if Chris was in his office yet.

His hair stuck up in different directions, and if it wasn’t for the change of clothes, I would have sworn he had been at work all night. I tapped on the door frame.

He swung around with an exasperated sigh. Clearly expecting it to be a work related interruption.

“Hi,” I said.

Without a word he got up and grabbed me in for a bone crunching hug. As he held me I could feel him relax into the embrace.

“How long have you been here?” I stroked his hair, no not peanut butter. Maybe gold was the right color.

“I’ve been here since before six. But the good news is I should be done before four, so we can leave on time.”

“And how late were you here last night?” I asked.

“I was home and tucked into bed by midnight.” He smiled at me.

“So you crashed, and face planted fully dressed into bed at 11:59 right?”

“Pretty much.” He laughed. “Let’s go get some coffee, I could use a break.”

I sipped my coffee slowly as we headed back upstairs from the coffee shop in the lobby. The elevators were crowded, and neither of us felt awake or energetic enough to take the stairs up four floors. Chris walked me back to my cube. His eyebrows shot up when he saw my bags in my cube.

“Oh, I took Uber in. I figured it would be easier coming back on Monday to not have my car here.” I explained.

“Smart.” Then he kissed me.

We skipped lunch so Chris could get all the reports finished that he needed complete by year end.

At three forty-five, an exhausted sexy man showed up in my cube to sweep me away for the weekend.

We necked in his car in the parking lot for at least thirty minutes before leaving. I was breathless and giddy when we stopped kissing.

I watched the golden, water-starved hills pass the car window. That was close to the color of Chris’s hair. I sighed. Dead grass. Nope. It might be a great color, but it was the opposite of sexy. Dead grass hair. I couldn’t do that, Chris’s hair was sexy, it deserved better.

Chris pulled into a subdivision. I giggled at the street names: Leaping Dolphin Drive, Flying Bird Lane, Swimming Swans Court. He pulled into a long ranch style house on Swimming Swans.

We left our bags in the car, and I followed him into the house.

“Moms, I’m home.” He called out.

A tall woman with similar bone structure to Chris came from one direction, and a slighter, smaller woman greeted us from another.

“You brought someone with you!” The taller of the two women exclaimed as she hugged Chris. She held out her hand to me. “I’m Pat. And this is Grace,” she said turning to introduce the smaller woman. Grace had the same eyes as Chris. I was confused. I swallowed down my surprise and smiled, and hoped I didn’t say anything stupid.

“This is Natalie.” Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulder as he introduced me.

“Nice to meet you both,” I said as we shook hands.

“Mike is around here somewhere. You can meet him later. Why don’t you get your bags, and Chris will show you to his room.”

Pat made noises about having something baking in the kitchen. She and Grace disappeared in what I assumed was that direction as we headed back outside.

I blinked and stared at Chris as he handed me bags. I followed him silently as he led me down a long hallway and into a guest room, that clearly had been his bedroom in the past.

“Where am I gonna sleep?” I asked. I had too many questions in my head, but this was the topic I felt safest dealing with.

“You can have the bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Isn’t there another room for me?” I wasn’t ready to sleep with Chris just yet, at least I didn’t think I was.

“Not unless you want to bunk in with my little brother. And he’s smelly. If you want I can sleep out on the couch.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting this.” I motioned to the room.

“It’s okay. Moms probably aren’t sure either. I forgot to mention I was bringing you along. I wanted it to be a surprise.” Chris pulled me into his embrace. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re full of surprises by the way. Two moms? You could have warned a girl.” I scolded.

“Think of it as a litmus test, you passed with aplomb.”

“Why thank you. So is it tacky to ask which one is your bio mom?”

“Grace is my biological mother.” I could see that, after all, they had the same eyes. “And Pat is my biological father. She started transitioning about sixteen years ago.” He continued.

I’m pretty sure my eyeballs popped out of my head.

“And your parents stayed together?”

Chris nodded. “Mom decided she loved Dad no matter what, and when he started to make the transition she supported him.”

“Wasn’t that hard on you?” Chris seemed completely at ease with it, and I think it would have freaked me out. “You were what? Fifteen?”

Chris nodded. “I was an asshole for a year or two. But Mom’s unconditional love really helped me to open my eyes and realize it’s not about body parts, it’s about love. Now here’s the kicker, cause I know you’re gonna do the math. Mike is my sixteen-year-old brother. You can say, he was their last hetero hurrah.”

Now I know my eyeballs popped out of my head.

“You’ll do fine. I kind of sprang everyone on each other. I’m not driving you to a hotel or back to LA tonight am I?”

“No Chris you’re not. Besides if you did, who would kiss me at midnight?”

He kissed me again, and the cares of the world went away.

I followed Chris into the kitchen.

Pat had pulled the most amazing smelling cookies out of the oven. She handed one to Chris then one to me. It was gooey and falling apart. Pecans, cookie, and melted chocolate and something else I couldn’t quite place.

“Oh my gawd,” I said around the hot goo in my mouth. “What is this? It’s divine.”

“Butterscotch bars. They’re Chris’s favorite.”

I looked at him. He smiled and nodded. Butterscotch. That was it, that was the perfect description for Chris and his hair. And it felt nice on the tongue. Butterscotch.

“His favorite? I can see why. So do you make these too?” I asked Chris.

He shook his head.

“I’m surprised if they are your favorite. I learned to make my grandmother’s sweet potato pecan pie since it’s my favorite.”

Ducks, Geese, Whatever

It seemed appropriate that on the sixth day of Christmas Chris and I sat on a bench next to a duck pond. I felt stupid, I did not even know there was a duck pond back here. But we sat and fed ducks and geese. As far as I could tell none of the geese were laying eggs, so much for six geese a laying. Chris was quiet today. Even his kisses felt toned down.

I tossed a chunk of bread from my sandwich to the ducks and geese that had gathered around us in hopeful expectation. We weren’t talking, just eating in companionable silence. I was nice. It didn’t feel awkward, or like we needed to be talking. Actually, I really liked it. We could just be together and that was good.

Chris yawned. “I’m sorry Nat, I’m not good company.”

“Pish, you’re perfectly fine company. I kind of like just hanging out with you.” I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. “How late were you here last night?”

“After midnight. But the good news is that I will get everything done tonight, and we can get out of here around four tomorrow.”

I rested my chin on him and watched his face as he spoke. I really liked how his lips moved. This close I could see the patches on his cheek where he accidentally missed shaving this morning. I trailed my finger down his sideburns and along his jaw.

“That tickles.” He complained with a smile.

“So I have a question for you,” I said.

“Hmm?” He chewed. I liked watching his jaw move.

“We aren’t exactly dating are we?”

“Not in the past few days simply because of my schedule this week, but I’ll take you out over the weekend. Promise.” He said.

“But are we dating?” I asked.

Chris turned to look at me. He didn’t say anything just looked me in the eye. We sat like that for a long minute. He lay his hand against the side of my face and leaned in.

“Chris? What the hell are you doing out here?” The voice was sharp, female, and bitter.

We both turned.

A fit sweaty woman stood before us with her hands on her hips. An iPod was strapped to her upper arm and she plucked ear pods out with one hand.

“Hi, Jess. Running on lunch?” Chris said slowly. “I’m working over there these days.” He pointed back to our building.

“I always run at lunch, or did you forget? Why aren’t you running?”

I really didn’t like her tone, she sounded like she was scolding him, like she had the right to nag at him.

Chris breathed out through his nose. “I don’t run all the time anymore Jess. There are other things to do.”

She made a face that spoke volumes. She did not approve of his attitude.

“You should run, you’ll get soft.” She glared at both of us, then raked that glare up and down me. If lasers could shoot out her eyes, I would be crispy fried. “Suit yourself.” She slammed the earbuds back in then took off running again.

I stared at Chis as he watched her trot away.

“Who was that?” Please don’t say, girlfriend, or wife.

“My ex,” Chris stated flatly.

“And she’s a runner like you used to be?”

Chris nodded.

“Look, Nat,” Chris sighed.

I could tell he was about to get heavy with whatever he was going to say. I had started it asking about our dating situation, so I pretty much couldn’t blame him for things getting uncomfortable.

“I ran, a lot. My girlfriends for a while were also runners. I pretty much exclusively dated runners. It’s what we did. No movies, no drag shows, running.”

“How long were you and Jess together?” I felt myself easing away from Chris. I’m not a runner, I am so not a runner. We’ve talked about this, and yet, I still felt this was a big deal for him.

“We were together for three, almost four years. We were actually engaged until I wasn’t committed enough for her. I think it was over some half marathon that I was not interested in. I wanted to do something else that day. I try not to remember honestly, being over it and all, but it was my parents’ anniversary.” He shivered as his memories came back. “We broke up over having to choose between a half marathon and my parents’ anniversary.”

“How long ago?” Now I was worried that I was rebound girl.

“Over two years ago.”

“And rebound girl?” I had to be certain.

“She was cute, and we dated for about three months. I’ve mostly been single and dating since then. What about you?”

“I had a serious boyfriend in high school. Lost virginity together, going to get married, the whole bit. We made it through a year and half of college. I think it was a mutual dump. Did date one guy for about two years, but nothing real long term since maybe six months here and there. I’m seeing someone now.” I said. I watched Chris’s face fall. “He’s tall with dark blondish hair. Used to be a runner, but does weights and stuff. Likes to do just about anything, a really nice guy.” I liked watching his grin come back as he realized I was talking about him.

He moved closer to me and started to lean in. “Is he any good at kissing? You seem to me to be the type of girl who likes to be kissed.”

“He’s the best,” I said against his mouth as he began kissing me.

Ducks and geese protested as we kissed because I had stopped tossing bread their way.

“I hope Jess didn’t upset you,” Chris said as we headed back towards the office. “I don’t want you to think that because she was my type that I don’t like you.”

I turned and smiled at him. “Hey some people have a set type, and others are all across the board. It’s no big deal.” I shrugged.

“Look Nat. You asked me earlier if we’re dating. And as corny as it sounds, I want to say no. I want to say we’re past the dating part and we’re a couple. I wasn’t expecting any of this when I asked you to go to dinner. I just didn’t want to be a sorry ass alone on Christmas night. But you turned out to be the most amazing woman. You are nothing like anyone I have ever dated before.” He held his hands in front of him, inches from my body, indicating my figure. “Not in shape, and not in sense of humor, not in anything. And I really like you.” He nervously ran a hand through his hair. “Not one girlfriend in the past has ever brought me a pizza and offered to hang out with me when I’ve had to work late. Not one.”

I blinked at him in stunned silence.

I know that the thing on Christmas was by chance, and I know it really was just to not be alone. That didn’t make his confession sting any less. But everything else he said took the sting all away.

“So this kind of does away with that whole relationship timetable huh?” I finally said. “We skipped right over dating and fast-tracked to the exclusive couple part. Huh?”

“That’s not exactly what I meant. I don’t want to make you feel like you can’t date other guys. But. Yeah, no. That is what I mean. Damn it. I don’t want you seeing anyone else. I want you to be my girlfriend and not just a girl I’m dating.”

Chris walked in a big circle. His hands raking through his hair. He was stressed. My initial reaction to be snarky was put on hold. I didn’t want to be the cause of his stress. I seriously liked him.

“Hey.” I pulled him into my embrace. “I can’t think of a nicer plan, to be exclusively your girl, and you being exclusively my guy.” I could feel the tension leaving his body as I held him.

He wrapped his arms around me. “See this is what I’m talking about. You are different. You aren’t putting me on some timetable, and you are okay with how fast this is happening. You want to know why I was at work until after midnight?”

I nodded. “You got dumped on by your coworkers. You had a lot to do.”

“I was distracted by you and that damned pizza. I kept thinking I should have let you stay, but then I know we would have ended up making out more. Of course, that led me to thinking about making love to you on my desk on top of all of those papers, and then I couldn’t focus at all.”

I blushed and swallowed hard. We weren’t even into heavy petting yet and he was talking about the sex. Not that I hadn’t thought about that too, but hearing that I did that to him too was, wow.

“I guess I had better not volunteer to stay late with you tonight then?” I asked.

“Knowing you are willing to just hang out with me, and not be the center of my attention is a lot. Most women would demand that I focus on them, even if they know I have a job to do. I know you wouldn’t but I’m still gonna say no thank you. Because even though you wouldn’t, I would want to give you all of my attention.”

I was falling in serious deep like with this guy. I definitely wanted all of his attention, hanging out while he worked was a bad idea.

“Can I at least stop by for some making out before I head home tonight?” I pleaded.

“Please.” He began nuzzling my neck. He groaned then stopped nibbling on me, he rested his forehead against my shoulder. “Damn.”

He stood and looked down at me. “I might be in a meeting.”

“So call me, let me know what’s going on. We’ll figure this out. It’s only one more night then we have a long weekend together right?” I tried logic on him.

He kissed me, it wasn’t a soul searing kiss. It was a nice simple kiss, a basic kiss because we both knew it wasn’t the last one. We knew there were plenty of more kisses coming. For a split second, I realized this may be the first real grown-up-in-a-relationship kiss of my life.

And a Side of Onion Rings

I forgot how wonderful it was to feel this way. Chris and his peanut butter hair made me so happy. Not peanut butter, it’s too dark and too sticky. But it’s a step in the right direction. It’s definitely better than beer. But beer is a cleaner description. Oh, it doesn’t matter. He’s lovely, and each day he’s more mine, and that’s what matters.

My stupid-happies did not defeat the morning commute traffic beast today. But it didn’t matter. Chris sat spinning in my chair when I got to work. And that made up for all of it. What is it with men and spinning in my chair? I may have squealed.

“Good morning.” He stood and put his arms around me.

I dropped my bags and threw my arms around him. “Hiya. What are you doing in my cube? Not that I’m complaining, or anything.”

I really didn’t care if anyone in the office was going to be offended by our PDA: public display of affection. Besides, my cubicle was fairly private. Unless someone walked past it, like Blake just happened to do.

“Well, are you going to kiss her or not? I can’t stand around all day waiting for you.” Blake snarked.

Chris dropped his arms.

I glared at Blake for killing our moment of joy. “What do you need Blake?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “I just wanted to see how straight people do it, ya know.” I really don’t know how to describe his expression, but his face contorted from super pretty boy to comically-derpy with screwed up eyebrows and lips. “For science.”

Chris’s arms were around me a second later. “Watch and learn science boy, watch and learn.” Chris leaned in and the world disappeared. His lips were soft and he tasted of coffee. He gently prodded my mouth open and his tongue found mine. I swear his kisses were getting hotter every day. Soon flames would burst from me, and we would be consumed in passion’s flames. I shoved my fingers into his hair, and he grabbed onto mine. We kissed deeper until I was floating in space.

When he pulled back, his hands cupped my face. We were both breathing heavily. I had actually forgotten that we had an audience.

Blake began a slow clap. “Well done, nice technique. I give you a 9.8 for style, and a 10 for partner satisfaction.”

“I have no idea.” I didn’t, but I was laughing. “Hi.” I mooned up at Chris. That was an amazing kiss. I wanted more. But we were at work. So that wasn’t going to happen.

“I wanted to kiss you again, and I didn’t want to wait. So I figured you would come here first.” He explained.

“I like the way you think. Can you do lunch today or is it another day of all day meetings?” I asked.

“Yesterday happened because half the department isn’t even here today, they came in specifically for the meetings. Leaving the rest of us to do the actual work.”

“Bummer.”

“Yeah, but that does mean I am available for lunch.” He slowly twisted with me side-to-side.

“Ya know, if we grab something to go from the roach coach in the back parking lot, we can go find a bench and make out.” I fluttered my eyelashes at him.

“I knew you were a smart girl.” He kissed me again. This one didn’t quite take me out of my body, but it still curled my toes.

I waited for Chris in the north stairwell. My pulse would surge every time I heard feet pounding down the stairs. I watched with anticipation for his figure to turn at the landing and make his way down to me. With each new not-Chris person, my excitement diminished. By the time Chris did arrive I wasn’t expecting it to be him. So I was completely surprised.

“Oh,” I gasped as he grabbed me and kissed me without saying anything.

His kisses were hot and urgent. And they didn’t stop even after a few people cleared their throats nervously as they passed us.

“You hungry?” He asked.

I nodded, but I wasn’t.

“I’m hungrier than the food truck can handle, mind if we hit the cafe across the street? We can eat on the patio, its nice out.” Chris pointed with his thumb over his shoulder indicating the matching building to ours.

“Sure.” I nodded.

He held my hand as we cut across the parking lot to the other building. My stomach did somersaults.

“How’s your day been?” I asked. All those practiced topics of conversation from the other day deserted me. Work seemed safe enough.

Chris grunted. I stopped walking, forcing him to stop and look at me.

He gave me a weak grin. “It’s better now that I’m with you. I feel like I’ve been dumped on with everyone deciding they can cut out early. Which means I’m working late every night just so I can leave on time on Friday.”

“Can’t you just cut out early without the late nights?” We resumed walking.

“No,” he shook his head. “Too much to get before year end. I’ll be here late tonight and late tomorrow, and I’ll have to come in early Friday if I can’t get everything done.”

We stepped up to the counter to order. I ordered a hamburger.

“You want fries with that?” The lady behind the counter asked.

I felt like throwing caution to the wind. After all the very first thing we ever did was go out to eat, so I didn’t need to shy away from food now. “I’ll have a side of onion rings, oh and one of those big pickles.” Chris looked at me with one eyebrow raised. Oh, that was a hot look, but right now I think that was him giving me a funny face. “What? It’s a vegetable.”

We found a seat on the patio.

“So, you have big plans for Friday?” I asked.

“Actually I do and I’m hoping you don’t.” Chris shifted in his chair. “My parents got back last night and they want me to come up for New Year’s.” He looked nervous. “And I was wondering if you would come up with me? Take the long weekend in Santa Barbara and hang out with the moms.”

Uhm. Wow. Meeting parents already? Plus spending a weekend away together. Breathe Natalie. This meant the sex thing might happen. Not necessarily, not if we’re at his parents. But still, the chances of the sex happening just skyrocketed.

“I can change my plans,” I said trying to be cool. I did not feel cool. I was flummoxed.

“Your friends won’t get mad?” Chris asked.

“My TV won’t care either way, the DVD player might feel left out, but I think they’ll be fine without me.”

Chris’s grin made my heart skip a beat or two, before running in circles at top speed with glee.

“Great. Bring your stuff and we can leave from work. You said you skate right?”

I nodded.

“Bring your skates, there’s a great beach walk.” He began.

“Oh, the place you took me after the Prince thing?” I interrupted.

“Yeah, it’s great for skating or biking.”

“Or running.” I finished for him.

“Or running.” He agreed.

“So just how serious is this running thing with you? Weekend warrior or what? You’re a little beefier than what I think of as a runner.” I asked.

“Track in high school. Mostly weekend warrior type thing. It’s easy cardio. I’ve done a few marathons. But not so many since I’ve added more weight lifting. I’ll hit the gym three or four times a week, run a few times, or do something else, like roller blades or biking. Depends on the weather, and if I have company.” He shrugged.

“So fit and active lifestyle is your thing?” I asked as I sank into the greasy pit of onion rings, hamburgers, meaty thighs and big boobs. One look at me and most guys who are into fit and healthy turn tail. Not that I’m not fit or healthy, I just don’t fit the physical stereotype. And to be honest, my lunch of choice did not support the argument that I was either.

“It’s an activity, not a lifestyle. I like to go to back-to-back movies with beautiful women. I like to hang out at friends’ houses and play video games. I go to the gym, so I can eat hamburgers and french fries, and convince myself that a pickle is really a vegetable.” He said nodding at my lunch. His wasn’t much healthier, the only vegetable he had was the lettuce on his cheeseburger.

“Fair enough. I used to work out more, but not so much since I moved here.” I thought about telling him how much I used to hit the gym, and how much I skated, but I decided to save that for the weekend. Give him a little surprise.

“I watch entirely too many movies. Theater, DVD, and streaming. I’m on social media too much. I like long walks on the beach, piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, I’m not into yoga.”

“So, you like making love at midnight do you?” Chris caught me. We both laughed at my attempt to use the piña colada song as my personal dossier.

I leaned in and looked up at him through my eyelashes. “I like making love at midnight. But not on sand dunes. That shit gets everywhere and gets in cracks you didn’t realize you have. Or so I’ve been told.”

Chris started choking he laughed so hard.

Chris held my hand on the walk back to the office. I loved the feel of his large warm hand wrapped around mine. His fingers were long and tapered. And he held on like he wanted to keep my hand.

“Want to find a secluded place to neck for five minutes before we get back in there?” He asked, nodding towards our building.

“I had onions and a huge pickle for lunch,” I complained.

“And I had garlic fries. We should taste amazing.” He said as he pulled be around the corner, and pressed me against a metal fire escape door.

The pressure of him leaning into me took all my resolve. His lips descended on mine. He was right. We tasted delicious.

I brushed his hair back into some semblance of order. Mine was too far gone to be saved so I pulled it into a ponytale. Chris kissed me again once we reached my cube.

“I have to stay late so I can’t take you out tonight. Come up and kiss me before you go home?” He asked. He was so cute and timid, like a little boy.

“Of course,” I was so smitten with this guy, like I would turn down a chance to make out for a bit. “Do you want me to hang out with you, keep you company?”

He made a soft growl low in his throat. “I won’t get any work done. But thanks for the offer.”

He kissed me again, then left to return to work.

I flopped down in my chair. I did not feel like working. I felt like making out with Chris, garlic and onion breath and all.

“Did I see you trying to suck out boyfriend’s tonsils outside?” Blake stuck his head in my cube.

“Probably.” I sighed, yeah that was some heavy necking.

“When did this all start. I don’t remember the two of you even talking before. And now its all suck face all day.”

“Blake. Stop it. Why do you even care?” I asked.

“Cause it’s cute and nauseating all at once. So for how long?”

“He was my Christmas present. Question.”

Blake raised his perfect eyebrows at me.

“You barely said word one to me since I’ve started here, and now you’re all up in my business. What gives?” I would have killed to have him talk to me a week ago, and now, I just didn’t get it.

“You’re snogging one of the finer specimens of manhood in this building, that’s what gives. And what do you mean don’t talk to you? I email you all the time. We’re always talking.”

“Email isn’t talking, but okay.” I nodded. He was right, we did email, but it was always work related. “And you’re right, Chris is fine.” I sighed. Fine and a really good kisser.

“Girlfriend I’m always right. Now get back to work, those sheets aren’t going to spread themselves.”

I snorted softly as he disappeared around the bank of cubicles.

I ordered a pizza before the end of the day and personally delivered it to Chris before I left. I gave him a quick kiss goodnight that lasted about thirty minutes. He was getting bolder with his hands. He really had been my Christmas present. Best one I had received in a really long time.

Calling Birds

On the fourth day of Christmas I woke up happy. Stupid stinking happy. Princess movie happy, birds were chirping, cute little chubby rodents made my breakfast and made me an entirely new wardrobe kind of happy.My lips were still a little tender after all that kissing. But man, oh, man, oh man. It was so worth it.

The stupid happies carried me all the way through my morning commute (a miracle by LA driving standards). It wasn’t until I went to take a sip of coffee I realized I didn’t have one. That’s the power of stupid-happy.

I turned on my computer and opened my email as I moved into my cubicle for the day. I stroked the side of my monitor in response to an email request from Blake, clearly a habit now.

I slid open the bottom desk draw to drop in my purse when my desk phone started ringing. “This is Nat.”

“Seriously?” I could hear the smile in his voice. That of course, made me smile more.

“Yeah, no coffee. Are you having a good morning?” I asked.

“I am now.”

“What are you doing for lunch?” Lunch seemed like hours away, but I wanted to see him again.

“I have an all-day meeting. That’s why I was calling. I need to drop off some forms to your department, and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind meeting me halfway?”

“North stairwell in five minutes?” Oh a clandestine meeting in the stairwell, I wondered how much making out we could do.

“Make it three.” He countered.

As calmly as I could, I hung my phone up, finished putting my stuff away, and tried not to run to the stairs. Once in the stairwell, I pounded up the stairs. Chris was running down just as quickly. We met on the landing between the two floors.

His hands were empty.

“Looks like you forgot your paperwork.” I cooed. I played with the front of his shirt.

“That was just a ploy for anyone who was listening. I couldn’t very well say I wanted to make out with you some more over the company phone. You know those lines are monitored.”

I finished in a stilted computerized voice, “for quality assurance.” He smiled a dazzling grin at me. “So you want to kiss me some more?”

“Yeah. I really liked that last night.” His hands slid onto my hips, and he stepped in closer. His head tilted down, and his eyes closed. We heard footsteps on the stairs. He stood straight and stepped back. I stared at the floor. I didn’t see who passed us.

“Oh really?” I arched my back, giving the boobs a bit of a lift. “You didn’t seem very concerned with them last night.” It was true. I had half expected him to be super handsy, yet he had barely even gotten close.

“Truth? I am in awe, and a bit intimidated by them.” His fingers barely brushed the tops of my breasts as he zipped the front of my shirt up another few inches. I had worn the zipper a bit lower than usual for him.

I laughed. “Intimidated? It’s not like they bite. Actually, they like you.”

“Oh yeah?” He moved in a little closer.

“Yeah, they would like to play with you sometime.” I can’t believe we were talking about my breasts as if they were a complete and separate entities. I mean, at times I swear they are, but for the flirting, it was kind of lame. Lame, but it was clearly working for the two of us.

He smiled and nodded. The rest of our conversation was mostly just mooning at each other and sighing. His watch beeped, pulling us out of our mutual gazing stupor.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll call you when I’m out.”

I nodded, bit my lip, and watched him sprint back up the stairs. I went from stupid-happy to lonely despair in the blink of an eye. I slogged back to my desk. When I got there Blake the Beautiful swiveled back and forth in my chair. He was so pretty with his smoky skin and his dapper beard. But he didn’t make the butterflies in my lower abdomen flutter anymore. I leaned against the opening to my cubicle.

“What can I do for you, Blake?” Blake never visited for the sake of a chat.

He continued to spin around, his fingers steepled together tapped against his pretty mouth. I had wanted to kiss that mouth the first time I met him before I knew he liked boys. Heck I had wanted to kiss him even after I knew he liked boys, he is just that pretty. Now, it was just a good looking mouth, like it belonged to some actor in a movie, nothing more. It wasn’t Chris’s mouth.

“So,” he began. Twist. “What did I see you and Chris Jones getting up to in the stairwell? Hmmm?” He continued to twist around in the chair.

Busted. I flushed.

“Oh it was something, look at you blush.” He leaned forward in the chair.

“What did you see?” I asked. He saw nothing because Chris and I did nothing.

“You aren’t denying it? You aren’t going to say it was a random meeting while you were running errands?”

“Blake what’s the problem? You caught us flirting. No big deal.”

“I love a good juicy office romance.” I had not pegged Blake the Beautiful to be sassy office gossip. He always seemed so aloof.

“Out!” I pulled him from my chair and shushed him from my cubicle. “Be gone purveyor of whatever it is you’re purveying!”

A week ago I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the fact that Blake was sassing off to me, let alone been able to actually grab his arm to pull him out of my chair. What can I say? My hormones act funny around pretty boys. And really hot men.

I sat and quickly typed an email to Chris. “Blake was in my cube, he basically thinks he’s busted us on some hot office romance. FYI, I did not deny it.”

I hit send and hoped I handled the situation right. It hadn’t occurred to me that Chris might want to keep this on the down-low until that very second.

I stared at my monitor waiting for a response ping. Chris was in a meeting. I had to be patient.

I was in the middle of sorting my email inbox when it pinged with a new message. “Good. I’m not worried about keeping it a secret if you aren’t. – Chris.”

Big sigh of relief. Double sigh, because it always bothered me when a guy wanted to keep the beginning of something a secret. I kind of wanted the world to know that I got to make out with Chris Jones, and hopefully on a regular basis. This also meant he didn’t have another girlfriend that I didn’t know about. Triple sigh.

I spent my day sorting and matching invoices to packing slips, and forwarding the matched sets on to the people who handled the money. It was a very long day.

My phone rang again just before I decided to head out for lunch.

“This is Nat.”

“I have a hot minute, and wanted to say hi.”

I smiled, the stupid-happy flooded me again. “Hi, Chris.”

“So that was Blake in the stairwell?”

“Yep,” I confirmed.

“Well everyone should know we are dating by the end of day tomorrow. He’s pretty fast.”

“But.” I stopped. Dating. Yeah. “I didn’t peg him as the gossip monger. He’s so quiet.”

“Stealthy, the man is stealthy.”

“Hey Chris? What ya doing this evening?” I wanted to ask him if we were really dating. But it seemed stupid, he had just said we were.

“Work. It looks like this meeting is going to last a few more hours. Then, I’m going for a run. Do you want to join me?”

“Running? Have you seen my boobs?”

“Yeah.” His voice was kind of breathy.

“These boobs were not made for running.” He started to make a noise on the other end of the phone, and I panicked. I didn’t want him to stop dating me because I didn’t run. “But I hike, and I skate, things that don’t jostle or cause multiple black eyes.”

He laughed. I really did like that sound. “Skate like roller blades?”

“Yeah, like roller blades.”

“Cool. If the weather holds let’s go skating this weekend. I have to go, they’re starting up again. I’ll call you later.”

The rest of my afternoon lagged.

My evening was lonely and dull.

I lounged across my couch watching mindless TV. A soft tapping knock sounded on my front door. I slid the chain across before opening the door to peek out.

“Chris!” I closed the door so I could unchain it, and open it all the way. He stood there in his sweaty running clothes. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to say good night.”

I stepped back so he could come in.

“You could have just called me.”

“Yeah but I can’t kiss you over the phone. And I really missed not kissing you today.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

The kiss was warm and searching. One of his hands found its way to one of my breasts.

“Good night,” his voice was raspy after the kiss. He let me go and headed out the door.

“Good night.” I managed to say after I got some of my wits back after that kiss.

Chicken Tacos and French Kisses

On the third day of Christmas, I lay on the couch contemplating the meaning of that not-quite-a-kiss kiss. Would Chris have given me a proper kiss if that jackass hadn’t threatened to tow his car? Or had Chris seen it as an opportunity to get away and give me a nothing of a kiss when he felt pressured to kiss me but really didn’t want to?

I had barely felt him at all. A slight pressure, then nothing. My lips longed to feel his lips. I wanted a real kiss; a real kiss and a good word to describe his hair. Another beer commercial– what channel was I watching again? All the ads were for beer, cars, or ED medication. Malted barley, roasted hops, liquid amber ale. The color was close, but the connotation of beer wasn’t sexy enough. It didn’t play right across my tongue.

Beer just didn’t stir my loins the way a good description of Chris should: kind of blondish, with dark blue eyes. It just didn’t do him justice. Dark blue almost wasn’t the right color either. His eyes were indigo. Now that’s a sexy color, mysterious and comforting. Sigh. I was enjoying hanging out with Chris, last night’s date had been so much fun. I just hoped I wasn’t reading more into all of this. There are girlfriends, and there are girl friends. That space between words is all the difference. That space is the “friend zone,” a wonderful platonic location or the pit of hell. In my case, that space is the writhing cesspool of doom. And that kiss, well, it really wasn’t enough to properly close that gap between words.

My phone rang.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Movies start in forty-five minutes, I don’t have time to come get you. Meet me?”

Sigh. Chris had the nicest voice. I closed my eyes and let the tones of his voice caress me. I hadn’t heard a thing he said. “What?”

“Movies, you’re still doing this right?”

“Oh right, yeah.” I sat up forcing my body to focus.

“Meet me at the theater. I ran out of time and I can’t pick you up.”

“We never really arranged that, but yes, I’ll meet you there in thirty.” I shoved my feet into sandals. Fortunately, I was already dressed, even though my hair was still wet. Oh well. I didn’t have time to get all gussied up. Chris would have to take me as I came: damp hair, no make-up, and ratty jeans.

Unfortunately, on the drive to the theater, I had time to panic about my wash and wear state. Look if Chris didn’t like me this way, then he really wasn’t interested. This was how I was on most non-work days, and pretty much as soon as I got home from work. I wasn’t going to change for him. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel a touch of panic for not dressing to show off my better assets, read: the boobs. It just meant I accepted that this was me. I needed a boyfriend who accepted me this way. I more than kind of hoped that would be Chris.

Somehow, overnight I forgot how cute Chris was. He stood there with his hands in his pockets waiting for me. For me! Broad shoulders and beer colored hair. I started to pull my wallet out of my bag. Chris’s big hand was on mine and pushing my purse down.

“I’ve got this.” He said reaching for his own wallet.

“I invited, so I pay. Besides, you paid last night.”

“Last night was practically free, thanks to your clever chest.” He smirked. He made a circling gesture in front of his own. “How’s the burn? They gonna be okay?”

“It’s still a little pink, but it will be fine. You get the tickets, I’ll get the popcorn?”

“Sounds good,” he nodded and proceeded to purchase the tickets for the two movies we agreed to see.

Lunch was theater hot dogs and more popcorn.

We sat shoulder to shoulder as the credits of the second movie scrolled past. We were the only ones left in the theater.

“I always stay till the end,” I said munching on more popcorn.

“You never know.” Chris completed my thought. I really liked this guy. But I still didn’t know was I in the friend zone gap or not?

“Man those guys are unreal. I think they have CG muscles.” He tossed another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“You’re pretty buff.”

“I’m not ripped like that. That’s almost inhuman.”

I laughed. “You could get like that with focus and training.”

“Naw they are too unreal. Their shoulders are so freaking wide.”

“Only in comparison to their hips. It’s these muscles here.” I reached under his arm to poke him in the ribs. “That make them look so wide.” He squirmed and giggled. I tickled him some more.

He reached over and began tickling me in the ribs. Next thing I knew, the armrest between our seats was up and out of the way, his hands were on my back, and his mouth was on mine.

I sank my hands into his hair, whatever color it was. And pulled him in. I consumed him hungrily, and he consumed back. Tongues twined and breath mingled. He tasted like popcorn and salt.

A light hit us in the face. “Hey movie’s over! Get a room.”

Chris grabbed the bucket of popcorn and my hand. We were both laughing as we ran past the kid who had hit us with his high-beam flashlight. I smiled like an idiot. No gap, no friend zone. That was definitely a girlfriend kiss.

We ran all the way to the parking lot. Chis stopped by his car, dropped the popcorn, and pulled me back into his embrace. I liked kissing him, I liked being pressed against him. He was built like one of the movie guys with nice broad shoulders and big muscles. Okay, maybe not as big. He didn’t work out professionally, but he was still firm and hard, and I liked being squished against him.

“Now what?” I asked when I came back up for air.

“Dinner and more necking.” He suggested.

I couldn’t think of a better plan.

“I buy dinner, we neck on your couch?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Roommates. I buy dinner, we neck on your couch.” He countered.

“Sounds like a plan. What do we want to eat?”

We both said tacos at the same time. We laughed and he looked into my eyes. “I like how you think Natalie. Where to? Lead and I will follow.” Why did I want to think he was talking about more than tacos?

I led Chris to a corner with a terrific local taco truck. I ordered three chicken tacos, he had four. We ate them leaning against the hood of his car. I kept blushing and glancing over at him. He kept doing the same.

Back at my apartment, my nerves got the better of me. I turned on the TV for a distraction. “You want something to drink?”

“Sure what you got?”

“Beer, wine, soda, water.” I gave him an inventory of my kitchen.

“Wine.”

“Chardonnay ok with you?” I asked as I brought out the bottle and two glasses.

He smiled and watched me sit down, then pour and hand him a glass.

I watched him over the rim of mine as I took a sip. He reached forward and took my glass. I followed his motions as he set it on the coffee table next to his. He reached for me again, this time hooking his hand around my neck and pulling me forward to him.

“I’m done with wine. I’m here for you.” His lips slid across mine. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. My face began to feel raw from all the kissing. His hands never traveled higher than my ribs. He kissed the side of my face and sucked on my ear. I know I moaned. It felt wonderful.

We didn’t come up for air for what seemed like forever. And when we did, it was never for very long. Mostly it was tongues and lips, and teeth.

Chris pulled back and looked at me. His mouth was red, and beginning to look like it might be getting sore. His hair was a mess. I’m sure mine was too. I gently ran my fingers across his lips. He closed his eyes and kissed my fingertips, “I,” his voice was raspy. He cleared his throat. “I should get going.” He said.

I nodded. I would have loved to have him stay, but we were clearly still in the necking phase of things. Of course, I could change all that by pulling my shirt off. But I didn’t. I kind of liked that this developed on a daily basis.

We stood up and awkwardly adjusted our clothes.

“I have a long cold shower to take.” He said as he made his way to the door.

I followed him, a smile on my lips. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow?” I asked.

“Absolutely.” He leaned in for another kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow Nat.”

“Night Chris.” I leaned against my door as I watched him walk away. It was a really nice view.

Sigh. Tomorrow was work after a long weekend. I sighed again. I looked forward to getting back to work, the first time since that new job honeymoon phase had worn off. Tomorrow I would see Chris again. And maybe we could neck some more in a back stairwell.