my_hotmug

Thursday, May 03, 2018

I started swimming as a form of exercise way back in college. I like the Olympic sized pool in Abellana sports complex in Cebu, that is where i usually take my laps. Swimming somehow clears my mind, as all you have to do is breath and swim towards the other end of the pool, back and forth, again and again. Doing that in an hour is like nirvana for me.

You can forget anything, almost everything, except breathing.

And i love it when i look at the mirror and thinking that i am building myself a great body.

I keep doing it until i moved here in Manila, that was 2010. That's when i stopped swimming as i started partying and play around with boys, like a lot of them, as if i'm in a tank filled with fishes. So i kept on hunting, too pre occupied that I forget how to simply swim in the pool, me and just the water. crisscrossing, together.

After 8 years, i start doing this again. Here in ULTRA. I dunno, it feels like the old days. That feeling of being youthful and excited to embrace the world, again.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Dear,

I am glad you finally broke your silence. All these times I was just waiting for you to reach out to me, but it was longer than I expected. Our last messages might be too vague and together with other external factors, we might have misunderstood each other.

It was also hard for me for the past few weeks as I was used to being "us" together, but those times when we were silent was spent on contemplating how I am to you and how you are to me. I am pretty much used to being single and as what I mentioned to you before: I always needed a quality kind of relationship. What we had was a rare encounter and I cherish all these months we were together. Heart warming memories keep on coming back to me every waking hours and I smiled mostly since I really had a great time with you. But in the end, I always feel that there is something missing and I don't find that with you. I don't want to blame anyone but I just thought we are not really compatible. I came into conclusion that we are just in love for the idea of "being in love" but we really don't love each other.

I am quite impressed how you handled yourself in the midst of this and please be aware that your pain also pains me a lot. But remember, moments like this makes you stronger, my purpose for you might not be as a good lover but as a mentor. Stop apologizing as no one here is at fault and no one can be blamed as we did what was best for both parties. I wish things work out just fine between us but i guess we are not really meant for each other or maybe we didn't fight hard enough. We might not able to find the answers for that but I always believe that if you are really meant for each other then your paths should crossed again eventually, in the future.

The universe will always be kind enough and whatever our future awaits for us, let us be comforted with the idea that is for the better.

Monday, September 25, 2017

I should have done this writing when I am not under the influence of medications (i just had a tooth extraction, plus I still have residue of the injected anesthesia, the pain reliever and the antibiotics, all pumping in my brain.)

thus having sad recollections, disambiguation and interconnections. I guess it made me think/rethink my over due stay here in manila should end. It's either going back to Cebu or go further north. I wish I can go further north instead. My plans of staying in Baguio was halted since 2014, and the clock has been ticking away my remaining youth.

I have this Panoramic x-ray for my set of remaining teeth and as you could see, my left lower jaw has this remaining fractures of my broken teeth (as my previous dentist persist of having several fillers instead of the permanent and pushing me to go for root canal for me to pay 40k?) I wish i also have the power to uproot her as well.

My set of teeth is clearly not as good and as bad as my situation right now. I guess I really need to uproot the things need to be removed and not wait until they decay.

Saturday, July 01, 2017

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Friday, June 09, 2017

like a tale of two paramours
one weaves an invisible bond
an ability
to tie up something within
without him-self being present

random posts:
declaration of longingness,
throbbing with hidden meanings.
how could he sense each other's feelings?
sharing the same
suffering and endearment.

what do you have in mind?
a fading image that gets across the state of pain
a never ending soundtrack
a forbidden love: in the darkest ocean
of your social media app

Who is it?
going through their worldly urges
of wanting to “hand [themselves] over”
never clarify if he goes on with his urges
and becomes romantically entangled with him
then confess his sin
only to die later but not before declaring
that he loves him better

two moons in two different worlds
too isolated by just creasing a fold

Thursday, June 01, 2017

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Now it is clear to me why she was considered as one of the world's finest---having the powerful voice and "perfect pitch".

Way beyond that, what makes her deserve the Tony Awards and what makes the world got captivated is the way she sings, as if she has a very crucial message to tell and one ought to listen to her story.

She wants you to feel the pain, the sorrow and the wonders of how human should live. All of her performances made me hop from one musical/broadway/stage production to another. From Cats, West Side Story, Miss Saigon, Disney OSTs to Les Misérables. It was one of those nights that I can tell to myself: "i am having the BEST night of my life"

Monday, December 07, 2015

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

taking selfies nowadays is something that is done as banal as taking out a booger in your nose. there are times that i kind of find it strange or disgusting when someone is taking a selfie, smiling, then once that person put her cellphone down, she is back with her snooty face.

i came to associate taking selfie as sticking someone's finger up her nose and picking boogers. but this one, i am doing it while on the plane up in the sky and there was some mild turbulence.

a way to level up a mundane task, i guess?

just came back from Cebu to attend my dear Grandma's funeral and heading back to Manila after I spent time with family and friends as this trip is sort of a reunion for us as well.

its one of those vacation that i spent long enough to say im not heading back here (Cebu) for a long while. I am fully recharged and ready for full blast action.

the summer has just ended, so it's the time when most planes are not jam packed and I was lucky to get the seat near the emergency door which i have so much leg room. As if i am not lucky enough, my seats beside are empty, so i have my bag, and this girl on the fridge, sitting right beside me.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Generally, one of the signature experiences in visiting a foreign country is their food and how they prepare it. most food stalls that we went to in KL are their street diners and at times, in their usual mall restaurants. Through research, the Malaysian peninsula consists of 3 main races, Malay, Chinese and Indians.

In our 4 day stay, we tried their selamak in Old Town white coffee which also serves their recommended milk tea then we went to an Indian restaurant near pavilion which mainly serves hot and spicy dishes which also serves rose petal milk to subdue the spice. Then we also went to their little china town for their stir fried Chinese style squid and beef stew. Finally, we also tried an Indonesian restaurant and had a taste of their local dish.