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Friday, July 15, 2011

last year.

On this exact day last year, we packed our hospital bags and headed for an over night stay that would change our lives forever! I remember feeling nervous about leaving the redheads over night and how they would feel when we came home with Mabel. I remember feeling anxious about labor but excited for it. I was looking forward to a sweet newborn and being able to nurse my baby. I was anticipating a redheaded little girl who looked just like her sister and I just knew she would be a spitfire.

On this day last year I was pretty miserable. The pressure on my tailbone was intense and I was enormous. It was insanely hot and I was more than swollen. Just like every other labor, I was being induced because of my tailbone so I knew what to expect. I was hopeful that all would go smooth.

On this day last year I had hopes for a healthy baby. My dreams for her were very general and not personalized. I had dreams of love, growth, patience, kindness, a love for God, a knowledge that ran deep, discernment, gifts of the spirit, a joy for life among every other lovely thing you can imagine.

On this day last year I had no idea that there was this world that we now live in full of the unexpected beauty and blessings I have stumbled upon. On this beautiful, hopeful, naive day last year I was just a soon-to-be mom to our 3rd baby and I was so very excited to meet our girl.

Looking back, I cannot believe that it has been one year. I cannot believe how far we've come and all we have done. Looking at this photo is bittersweet. I see the glow of hopeful expectations all over my face. And yet being on the other side of it, I feel sorry for this woman as well--not knowing that her life will be changed in ways that she never knew it could be. Changed for the absolute greater, but still much different than what she had in mind this day last year...