Going on`

I don't want to go on. I can't see any light in the future. I have lost everything through no fault of my own: husband died of cancer, I'm on disability so no job or career, I lost all the money I had from crooks at Oppenheimer and the only person I have dated since my husband died broke it off in August, started up again in November, broke it off again in January all because he couldn't handle being in a relationship and guess what ~~ he is now in a relationship! And the most pathetic part, I still love him. No one in my life has hurt me more emotionally than he did/has, my heart and soul are literally crushed, my self esteem is all but gone and still, I miss him, love him and think of him all the time and he is with someone else. It has just been a horrible 3 years and I see absolutely nothing to live for. I'm not living I'm barely existing. I try to find joy and try to be positive but it has gotten so hard with nothing to look forward to. I'm on anti-depressants but apparently they aren't working well enough. I just want a way out, why continue to live in this much pain and misery? Do I have the guts? I don't know. Sad One.

This is a tough one to reply to. Your story is definetly sad but I don't want to give some silly cyber hug or "there, there, now". Only know that there are many support people here who will listen. Many of whom are in even worse situations and yet manage to keep their chins up so to speak. Maybe you can tell us more about yourself and your situation?

My doctor tried to give my anti depressants too. He didn't tell me that he included it with my blood pressure meds. I told him that I felt uncomfortable taking them because of my father's experience crying for no reason after going cold turkey on the meds.

I don't have as much experience with relationships as you. But at age 39, I have realized that the attraction goes away. No one should have that much control over your happiness. I am cynical with even my friends. I have a few really good friends. But I don't see any real relationships in my future. And I'm happy with that.

I think society has brainwashed us into believing that we aren't complete until we are married. Now, I think my friends who are my age are regreting getting married. I'm 39 and they have kids and no time for themselves or friends.