We’re The Millers

Fuck me, that was FUNNY.

We’re off with ‘The Millers’ – on the cross-country caravan ride from Hell..

Its pretty simple: A small-time pot dealer strikes a deal with an old colleague to perform a drug heist – from Mexico, across the border, and into the U.S. – but he needs a disguise. Something uber-inconspicuous that can hide his feat. He therefore grabs the sexy stripper from next-door, propositions a blonde street-walker, and reluctantly drags along the air-head boy from across the hall.

Let the hysteria commence.

Everything seems to run according to plan – the Millers make it across the border, ‘father’ David picks up the drugs, and they’re off. However minutes after they leave, the REAL owner of the drugs arrives and questions where its all gone – and let the carnage begin.

The Millers arrive at the border, but are suddenly stopped by Security when a sniffer dog picks up a scent of something – the tension rises and the ‘Millers’ start to crack – just before 4 illegal immigrants (who have clutched to the bottom of their vehicle) jump off and leg it. Immediate distraction for the Security of course, who run after them and let the family proceed across the border. All OK – that is, until one of the vehicle radiator hoses snap and our ‘heroes’ are screwed.

Enter Mr & Mrs Swinger (yes – they’re swingers. This isn’t their name); Don and Edie, and their daughter Melissa. No sooner have they been waving manically out their car window at The Millers trying to extract some “fellow holiday homies” attention, than they are pitched up for the night with them. Yes – camping. Although this couple seem fruitfully helpful, they have other things on their mind…

Right, lets fast-forward past the “this is the first time I’ve touched a woman’s breast” tent scene, Kenny Miller getting his scrotum nipped by a gargantuan tarantula and the showdown between The Millers and the Bad Guy – because all in all, ‘We’re The Millers’ isn’t a bad watch.

Some movies (mentioning no names – ‘Bridesmaids’) really drag the feature out. Fill it with as many funny bits as humanly possible, which creates a bloody mess. This one however, is very watchable. One of those ‘kick back and doesn’t matter if you get distracted because you can easily pick it up’ movies.

In all honesty, I think its the simplicity of it which makes it good; a bunch of people on a mission – and thats it. The director sticks firmly to the main plot (which in real life, would just be about the plot – getting from A to B with minimal – or maximum – distraction) In fact, this movie reminded me of an up-to-date ‘Adventures In Babysitting’

The gags & humour come thick and fast, I mean – you’re not in stitches the entire movie, but there is plenty to keep you entertained. Slick wit and sharp one-liner’s are today’s special, and overall its that atmosphere of desperation as this fake family struggles to keep a lid on it (or them) – its sheer farce at its best.

My only gripe is that during it, there are a few parts which kind of slow the process down, like the carnival scene where the “daughter” runs off in a strop for 15 minutes. Bit of a spanner in the works.

Character-wise, its all there: The stripper trying to be “Mom”, Goth-like “daughter” who wears a face of “I don’t even wanna be here” the entire time, subdued lazy-arsed “Dad” who performs brilliantly as he turns his sloppy attitude into ear-to-ear grin (and by Christ, its cute) cheeky man, and of course – the “Son” – dappy and rather oblivious to anything to do with the functionality of real-life. (until he gets his bollocks bit by a spider of course. But even then, he doesn’t man-up)

But the thing is – it bloody works. I sometimes forgot they were acting the family, and weren’t a real one – they are that convincing.

Overall, ‘We’re The Millers’ delivers. It is laugh-out-loud funny and ‘drives’ along nicely (albeit the spanners)

Best bits:

Jennifer Aniston’s very sexy strip scene (it made even a Homo like myself go “wow” – and of course, Kenny Miller; his facial expressions (in fact, his actual face) are to be applauded.

Definitely worth a watch. HOWEVER – considering cinema tickets are roughly £9.60 these days, I wouldn’t spend money on it. Wait until its out for rental.