The best pre-movie warning to NOT use your cell phone…

The motion picture experience. Popcorn. Movie trailers. Surround sound. A sense of local community importance (especially when one mentions the Madison or the Spectrum).

Personally, I love going to the movies – especially when my friends and I go together to enjoy a new film at the local cinema. With that in mind, if a film starts at 7pm, I like to get there by at least 630pm, so that I can watch the 20-30-45 minutes of coming attractions and regional commercials. Sing it with me, gang. “Experience the magic… Experience the mystery… experience exotic tastes steeped in rich history…” Good. Now that song’s stuck in your head, too.

And of course, there are the ubiquitous warnings reminding patrons to turn off their cell phones during the film. You know… don’t talk or text while watching the film, it distracts other moviegoers and ruins the cinematic experience.

Which brings me to this little video clip.

The Alamo Drafthouse is a very famous chain of movie theaters in Texas, and they specialize in showing cutting-edge and genre films, along with dinner fare that is often themed to the film itself. Quentin Tarantino holds a film festival at the Austin Alamo Drafthouse every year; and the famous Butt-Numb-A-Thon (hosted by Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool News) is also an Alamo Drafthouse staple.

The Alamo Drafthouse’s policy regarding texting or cell phone use during a film is very simple. You get warned, and if you do it again, you’re tossed out of the film without a refund. Apparently one customer was texting everything short of Atlas Shrugged on her cell phone, and the ushers removed her from the theater.

Undaunted, the woman left a profanity-strewn voice mail on the Alamo Drafthouse’s answering service.

When the Alamo Drafthouse front office staff checked their messages that morning, they heard the cursing and the vulgarities and the complete scrambling of the English language…

And they decided to turn it into a “don’t use your cell phone” pre-movie commercial, to run prior to all their R-rated films.