Real cool man. I like the point when he says "our dimension".I think when he draws the circle its a little weak on the wrist and I'm a little confused on the emotion your trying to display. He seems quite depressed. Keep working on it, would love to see a update.

First of all great work man ! It reads well and it's coming along for sure aye. I was planning on entering the 11Sec Feb comp aswell, I planned out my shot idea and got as far as shooting reference for it but then I started on other things and it never eventuated aye haha.

I like the hand gestures throughout aye, they aren't distracting and there's changes in the timing and pacing of your hand acting too. I was planning my shot also as a mid shot with mostly hand gestures during the dialgoue too, and I think you're acting is working well.

Anyway, my first impression watching it was that it felt fairly polished, but quite floaty at times (at least for my liking). I get this feeling thoughout, but specifically parts like his right hand through "our dimension" and his hands from frames 160-210. There's just limbs that feel quite soft as they transition from one pose to another. I think those transition could just be a bit quicker as well as being complimented by tighter moving holds. This feedback is subjective to my personal preference, so keep that in mind.

The head movement from f55-85 reads quite odd to me. The head comes forward quite suddenly, stops and instantly goes into a smooth rotation backwards. Just acting it out it feels funny, so perhaps that could use some minor revision.

During the dialogue "now to us .." bit, his eyes stays locked on whom he's talking too whilst the head starts rotating to his right. There a little odd moment that feels very animated, just watching his eyes stay in one place as his head begins to move. They don't feel connected for that one moment and it draws you away from the acting. If you want him to stay focused on his opposite, I'd let the eyes rotate with the head just tad at first, then animate a very small eye dart to the side, to keep his focus with the other person.

Lip sync reads nicely throughout man, great job. My only concern is "it's a circle" at the end, I don't think it's reading as well due to the angle of the face, so you might want to play with the lips shapes a bit more, perhaps angling the mouth shapes a bit more towards camera.

At the very end, he has quite an odd expression on his face and I can't quite read what it means, I think it's partially the eyes and brows and partially the frozen mouth. If I can make a minor acting suggestion, I think after "it's a circle" he could potentially keep his mouth open as he looks up and until the end. I think it could suggest he's thinking about what he just said and thinking of further explaining it, as well as giving a sense that there's more to be discussed and more to the scene.

That's all I have for now man. It reads long, but some of the notes are quite minor and the overall anim quality is great aye. I've been waiting for ages to have some anim work on NZCGI to critique aye haha, so pardon the wall of feedback.

Cheers guys, thanks for the feedback. I agree with both of you about the emotion at the end feeling vague, which is basically because I'm not sure about the emotion myself. The dialogue doesn't sound overly positive or negative, but either way I guess I just have to pick a choice and make it much more clear. It probably doesn't help that I hadn't done any lip sync for that end part either, which I realised after posting.

I'll make some adjustments, and show it again. I really appreciate the outside opinions, I've lost a bit of perspective from staring at it for so long.

Just a general comment - it feels like there's no connection between the forearms and the body. I think it's because the elbows are locked, so the hands are free to move around however they can. I think a bit more reaction in the body (just subtle) to the hand movements would be good. Also, right at the end it looks like the left upper arm stretches quite a bit (from about frame 350 onwards), so you might want to move the left elbow a little (if he's not resting his weight on it).

Oh, and as he starts to draw the circle, his upper body/shoulders start to turn which is cool, but they stop at frame 327, and the body looks very static for a moment, until about frame 338. I'd try to have some subtle rotation continue throughout that whole circle drawing action.

Here's an update. I sped up the drawing motion at the end, as well as adding some shoulder movement. I also tried making him more positive, as if he's trying to convince his audience of the idea he's talking about. Let me know if it works

When he says "outside", I see the tongue flick down on "side", which doesn't seem right - doesn't happen when I say "outside". Would also be good to get the "s" shape for "side" a bit more obvious too, so it works better with the large shape you've made for "...ide".

When he says "now to us...", there should be a little anticipation in the mouth before "now".

When he says "it's a sphere", there's too much jaw movement during "it's a". I'd decrease that to half of what you have.

Rest of the lip sync looks pretty sweet!

From 153-163 the left thumb seems a bit floaty. I'd keep the movement a bit more subtle.

From 276 I like the left hand/finger shapes. Quite natural!

When he says "now to us", he gestures at himself with the pen quite purposefully (right hand), while gesturing outwards (away from himself) with his left hand a bit more openly. I'm guessing you were trying to signify himself and the person he's talking to at the same time, but it feels a bit strange. Normally, the hands would behave/gesture in a more similar way to each other, instead of having two quite different gestures at the same time. So I'd tone down the pen pointing gesture, so it brings the other person into the "us" statement. If on the other hand the "us" he's speaking about refers to him and other people he's not speaking to (they might not be in the room), then I'd tone down (or remove) the left hand and keep the hands more about himself, but less directed/pointy, since he represents a larger group of people.

The shrug when he says "circle" at the end doesn't make sense to me. Usually people use a shrug gesture when they don't know something, or are unsure, or are denying something, but here it sounds like he's just stated something he's quite sure about.

I like this audio because it is really subtle. That makes it easier to accidentally to do too much, which is a big trap for animators! I think for most gestures you've done really well, but remember that most of our gestures are subconscious, which means you need to really analyze the audio/scene to get those signals right.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot post attachments in this forum