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I don't see the light at the end of this tunnel.

I have spondylosis. (Link describing it.)Which basically is a severe osteo-arthritis of the spine.My back HURTS all the time.....What do I mean by hurts?! Throbbing,aching shooting pain.Goes down my left arm,my right hip and it NEVER stops. Medicine doesn't work,pt doesn't work,massage doesn't work. (Once or twice,the pain shooting down my right leg has buckled my knee out from under me.In other words,knocked me on my ass.)

I've lived with this pain since I was really young (8 or 9) It started to get unbearable at around 16.It is something you get used to ,but not really.It also gives you a very high pain tolerance level.All this being said,I am 37 and have already had 2 back surgeries.My neurosurgeon thinks that it may be time for the third....I've been avoiding it as long as I can.But,the pain has started to mess with my life again. (Meaning,I don't want to do anything other than what I have to.It takes everything I have to make myself get up in the mornings/do the stuff a mom is supposed to do.) Anyway,my next surgery will be an implant...an SCS. (Link describing what it is)

Today they started the testing doctors do to make sure that they put the implant in the right spot.So,this morning I got something called a Stellate Ganglion Block. (Link for this too.)This shot HURTS,though I will admit it's not as bad as some of the other things my doctors have done to me. My problem right now? My left arm,shoulder is killing me....like someone poured some hot coals on it and left me like that.On top of everything else,I look like a stroke victim-the left side of my face is droopy. (It is normal.According to the doctor,the medicine causes it.Should go away by tomorrow.Hopefully,it does.I have got to be back at work tomorrow)

I'm happy because we got the stuff started,I'm scared because I hate surgeries.Sort of sucks when your options are stay in pain or do something you REALLY didn't want to do,kwim? Sorry about the pity party--no need to answer.Just felt like talking.

Thought for the day :

Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible that way.

that really does stink...I do understand the 2 bad options thing...during my pregnancies I have the option of running the risk of life threatoning clots or taking shots every day...I reallly really hate those shots right now but...I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

As bad as it sounds,you do "get used to it".All of the surgeries I've had on my back were because I was finally at the "I CAN'T do this anymore!" phase. They've said though that the SCS works wonders....they've explained that the implant won't get rid of all the pain.That's ok,though.I could/can live with just a 30% improvement...

Quoting ditsyjo:

that really does stink...I do understand the 2 bad options thing...during my pregnancies I have the option of running the risk of life threatoning clots or taking shots every day...I reallly really hate those shots right now but...I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

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