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It is car shopping eve.
I've done the important research, namely look at past live collection capers.
And found a suitable car (here's hoping I do/don't win the Gallant steed roffle)
I have a lift in a shittier car than one to be viewed sorted, a rendezvous with the seller (not autoshite member I don't think)
Buy criteria: If it's not a total shitbox and if I think it will get me to where I need to be for the next week or so while my BMW is being fettled with then it will be a buy.
Live collection caper criteria as laid out by @Jim Bell on a previous collection caper:
"Collection thread tick list.
Breakfast pic
Car pic
Petrol station pic
Woolard pic
(And for bonus points)
Pic of a dog
A pic of a car worse than the one you're collecting. "
I also believe a poo count is normally required. Does that requirement also include photo of results?
I will be travelling with a dog more than likely in a shit car. Not sure what a woolard is to take a pic though.
This thread will have the added live excitement that if when I get there and the guy is trying to sell me a nail I have to reject it and start again!
This is my first buy since being on this forum so if I go off piste feel free to shit-post. Anyway it's nearly 11 at night car-shopping-eve so I am going to get some shut-eye (as much as one can with a 10-month-old who hates sleeping) so if my cunning plan to sleep is interloped upon by said plentyn (thats wain in Scotts, bairn in North Eastern and child-faced daemon in Englandshire-ish) I'll here reading posts no doubt. See you all in a minute then.

Recently I've been finding myself toying more and more with the idea of selling my Volvo 164. I've owned it for 15 years, 10 of which it's spent off the road. I occasionally get a brief spurt of motivation and do a few bits to it, but generally it's spent most of that time sitting on my driveway gradually deteriorating, and frankly it deserves better. It's still mostly solid - the driver's side sill is a bit dodgy in places, and the area around the rear arch on that side is a bit fecked, but then it was getting bad when I bought the car 15 years ago, and there's a repair panel in the boot, as well as one for the spare wheel well. The paintwork is pretty shite though - the lacquer on the bonnet has gone really weird (I've been gradually removing it with a sponge, but it's a slow process and can only really be done when the car is damp), and it had a quick bottom half repaint about 10 years ago in household gloss just to tidy it up temporarily* (bottom half was mostly in primer when I bought it) as I wanted to take it to shows. Chassis is still sound as far as I'm aware; the last time I had to jack it up (a couple of years ago now) it lifted up OK on all four of its jacking points without making any ominous noises. It also has a crack in the windscreen, although that's not a major issue with it being MOT exempt. Interior is mostly all there but sadly the leather upholstery on the seats is fucked. Also the sunroof is missing its trim (the foam has more or less disintegrated anyway). The rest needs a bloody good clean, and the dash is partly in bits at the moment. Mechanically it starts on the button (it is a Volvo after all), and it moves OK under its own power (again, it's an old BW35 'box so would still work if it had spent the last ten years at the bottom of the sea). Power steering works too. There's no brakes apart from the handbrake though - it needs a front caliper (or the existing one rebuilding), but with the amount of time it's been stood I think the whole braking system would need an overhaul, and probably new discs as well (or at least a serious skimming of the existing ones). The essential electrics all work apart from the horns which have disintegrated. There's a dodgy earth on the NSR light cluster as well, but that's easily enough remedied. Oh, and the screen wash doesn't work at the moment - the original pump died, I fitted a universal replacement but had to nick it for something else. It has actually had some money spent on it in the last few years, believe it or not. It's had a brand new offside front brake caliper (an eBay bargain - sadly I haven't been able to find its opposite number at anything resembling a sensible price), a new water pump, a new (electric) fuel pump to replace the sadly deceased mechanical original, a new indicator stalk and a replacement (albeit secondhand) alternator. It's only an idea at the moment as it's going to be hard for me to sell it having owned it for so long, but I'm trying to get an idea of what it'd be worth if I did. The last few resto project 164s I've seen on the Bay have gone for what I consider to be daft money - I've always thought that old Volvo values (apart from the Amazons and P1800s of this world obvs) have been pretty low, but then I've seen the daft prices that 240s are starting to make so I'm not so sure. If I did sell it it'd be to raise some much needed cash, so if it's worth tuppence ha'penny it can stay on the drive for a while longer. Here's some pics of how it looks now to make me feel ashamed of myself. This is the proper dodgy bit: Inner sill is actually quite solid though, although my phone didn't quite manage to focus on it.