Take a look at your calendar. As usual on this date, the internet is buzzing with joyous hippies, elated stoners and all those angry people who still support D.A.R.E. This year let’s try something different. Don’t just smoke pot and be happy. Smoke pot and go beat the shit out of a dirty hobo. Yeah, that’s what I said. Go beat a hobo. Hobos are a pimple on the ass of society. For all the straight edge out there, just go beat a hobo. Don’t focus your efforts hating on the potheads. On 4-20 everyone should be happy. Because you should be stoned. We should celebrate life, unity and the pursuit of making pot legal. Let’s make hobos illegal. Face it people, a hobo is just a combination of a dirty bum and a hitchhiker. There is nothing good about that. Pot on the other hand is not only a fun recreational drug, but it also works great as medication. Marijuana isn’t a gateway drug either. I don’t care what you say. Your pot dealer is usually the gateway. They always know “a guy,” that can get you anything else. They’re like sales people that get points for referrals. Now I know some of you still aren’t convinced. Fine, here is a example of why pot should be legal as shown by the effects of being high v. being drunk (subject in example is either ex-frat boy or dumb meat head).

Booze
Guy goes to bar, comes home horny and smelling of booze. Wife is angry and goes to bed. Dude goes back to bar, gets in fight and goes to jail.

Pot
Guy goes over to friends and smokes a couple joints and plays video games. Guy goes home kisses his wife on the cheek, eats a sandwich and passes out. No fighting, no jail time, just sleep.

Now there is some amount of exaggeration in that story, but not much. Where is the harm in that? So back to my point. Legalize marijuana and regulate it, and make money on it instead of wasting money trying to stop it. Make hobos illegal. Why? Somebody has to have a battle to fight. If Marijuana became legal, people would go after booze…Again. When that doesn’t work they’ll go after something else like bunnies or some shit. The Masses need a cause, a scapegoat of sorts. Stop bitching about pot and start bitching about hobos. You ever tried to smoke a hobo? Doesn’t have the same aroma as the Mary Jane. Even if you clean them and dry them out, they still smell like failure and banjos.

Disclaimer: I do not advocate the beating of hobos. Well I do actually. But here is the deal, if you want to beat a hobo fine. Not because I said you should, but because you want to. I will not be held responsible for any hobo deaths (unless it is by my own hand). Nor will the excuse, “But I just do what the internet tells me to do,” work in a court of law.