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' EASIER TO SPELL
Young Arthur had been attending
school all of six weeks and his de-
i voted parent thought it was high time
he should find out how things were
running. So he asked:
"And what did my little son learn
about this morning?"
W "Oh, a mouse. Miss Wilcox told us
. all about a mouse."
"That's the boy! Now, how do you
.spell mouse?"
It waa then Arthur gave promise of
"being an artful dodger. He paused
meditatively for a moment, then said:
"Father, I guess I was wrong. It
wasn't a "mouse teacher was telling
1 us about It was a rat" Harper's
' Magazine.
o o
ON THE WRONG SIDE
Young Jack was talking to the
new visitor soon after her arrivaL
He eyed her critically for a few mo
ments, then looked up and said:
"So you're my grandmother, are
you?"
"Yes, dear. On your father's side,"
remarked the old lady, smiling. f
"Well, you're on the wrong side.;
you'll find that out," replied Jack
1 without removing his gaze. Top
Notch.
o o
LOOKED IT
The governor's wife was telling
Bridget about her husband.
"My husband, Bridget," she said
: proudly, "is the head of the state
s. militia."
"Oi fought so much, ma'am," said
Bridget, cheerfully. "Ain't he got th'
foine malicious look?" Southern
- Woman's Magazine.
o o
A number of raw recruits were be
ing drilled for the army in England
recently, and an old couple whose son
was among them had gone to watch.
"Isn't it a grand sight, pa?" mur-
mured the old lady. "And just look;
-they're every one of them out of step
vfeui our son. John." EverybodjgBj
TWO MISSING
Civil Engineer (to Mexican farmer)!
Now, Pedro, when this railway &
put through here it will save yoti
much time. How many days do you;
spend in taking your stuff to market
now? i
Pedro Three, sir.
Engineer, Ah, exactly. Three days.
Now, with the railroad, you can get
to market, transact your business
and get home again the same day!
Pedro Ah, senor, but what will
become of the other two days?
o o
JUST LIKE THEM
Mrs. Waffles (at school graduation
exercises) There's that WifQe boy
about to speak for his class.
Johnny Wiffle (on platform)
"Friends, Roman's fellow country
men lend me your ears!"
Mrs. Waffles There! I knew it!
He wouldn't be his mother's son if
he wasn't borrowing 'something!
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