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I never did mind growing up, I loved the idea of taking care of my self and being self sufficient.
But I have travelled quite a colourful road. and have not emerged unscathed

Not in the sense of im hurt and beat down, but that I am more aware of my life and my choices than I have ever been before. I am a woman of many contradictions and needs and wants and don't suffer fools any more.

while I have a good idea of who I am and where I am going, there isn't an actual destination. The idea to to have something to work towards and being better. and search for love is always there.

but I am not who I was 6 months ago, hell, Im not the same person I was 2 days ago. And Im ok.
Standing still is for statues. And where is the adventure in that!

So we enter the second month of #wia100healthydays and while the first month was a bust in terms of eating clean. I did try my best to keep my eating "sort-of" healthy

During Ramadaan and post that, I had to pack up my moms house, and the only thing that kept me from eating through my feelings was the fact that the house was a buidling site and everything was covered in dust. Which made it unappetising to even your biggest emotional eaters

While I didn't lose much, (2 kgs) I gave myself a high 5 for not weighing the same as my fridge. I did get a shit load of strength training, by sanding and plastering walls, painting etc.

But to get back into the swing of things, I signed up for the 360 30 Day Summer Body Program which was offered at just R99 for the month. This is in conjunction with my walks and Sunday stair climibing at Rhodes Memorial

I want to win the challenge, purely because right about now, I could do with a win!

This has been a tough year so far. I have learnt to embrace change and hold onto that fact tighter than anything else in the room.

I cant explain where my head is at right now, or where its been. My grief at times has seemed insurmountable, and my joys short lived. But yet here I am, carrying on.
I am in a state of change and not sure what's going to happen next. Its as if I've been on the merry-go-round and its spinning and the revolutions are slowing down enough that I can finally see a chance to step off. Which means I'm trying to control the crazy but doesn't mean I know what it is that I'm doing.
I took sometime off to sort out my old home life and while we got the house ready for tenants, I did have a few emotional moments. We basically neutralised my old home and well its just a house now.
I got back to CT yesterday and while this does seem to be my refuge right now. I am unsure of what the next year brings, my last few years have been about loss in many for…