Kai The Homeless Hitchhiking Hatchet Hero Is Your New Antoine Dodson

If you been on some form of Internet connection over the past 24 hours, chances are you’ve either already seen or heard about Kai the hitchhiking hatchet-wielding hero who stopped a crazed maniac/alleged rapist/vehicular manslaughterer from bear-hugging a woman to death because he’s Jesus and Jesus hates blacks now. It’s an epic story for the ages told by a man who’s already been dubbed a modern-day Caine from Kung Fu provided Caine was wandering the Earth because his parents kicked him out for stealing his grandmother’s pills. So trust me when I say this is one you’re going to want to gather the kids around for because it’s chock-full of life lessons straight out of Dogtown. Including, but not limited to:

- You’re worth something. BOOSH.
– People say don’t hitchhike, but look what happened by hitchhicking. SKADOOSH.
– If someone says they’re Jesus, you say you’re the fucking Anti-Christ and hit them with a hatchet. SLICKA-BICKA-DICKA-BOOSH.
– Always use a televised news interview to beg for free surfboards.

So for any of you out there worried about your sons or daughters hitchhiking across America because you got mad they quit Panera for not using “conflict-free beans, man,” sleep easy tonight for there’s a hero out there. A hatchet hero. And “Smash, smash, SMA-AASSSH,” is his call.

great observation – so, since nobody needs a gun to stop anybody from committing violent crimes, let’s have the cops turn in their guns and issue them hatchets instead. Sound plan, there!
Also, fyi, the first guy still did get rammed with the car and nearly killed. Maybe we should all have to turn in our cars, since they can be used to commit violent crimes.

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest every victim of his hatcheting skills gets recorded as a peace symbol on his bandana. Our friend here didn’t break his hatcheting virginity with this attack, oh no siree.

I’m going to assume you all are just joking.
Regardless of of everything you think is wrong with him, he is a hero. And I’ll also gather that most of the people here don’t know that he was using the flat end of the hatchet and just knocked the man out. The guy is booked and awaiting legal recourse for the vehicular attack, and everything else he possibly may have done before and during. This guy didn’t murder anyone, and didn’t commit any crimes, the interview was taken right after and he’s still rushing with adrenaline.
He’s a hero regardless of what you think,.