couples massage

“She’s my couple,” my housemate says as she points to me and hands the girl her sign-up sheet.

“…Oh…” The girl doesn’t quite manage to keep her somewhat judgmental tone out of her voice.

It reminds me of the time I dropped one of my closest friends off at the train station and hugged her goodbye before she went in. The person taking tickets went over to a guy sitting near her, smiling [sincerely, I should add], and said, “Were you saying goodbye to your girlfriend?”

When he shook his head no, she turned on my friend and yelled at her about holding up the entire train. (For the record, we were not.) Apparently, it would have been okay for us to hold up the train if I’d been a dude. There sure are a lotta haters out there. :/

And…with such a lovely intro, I signed up for couples massage with my housemate. ($15 for 4 classes was too great of a deal to pass up.) The people in our class are really cool. Our instructor went over how our course would be on teaching us to do therapeutic massage, as opposed to erotic massage. We went over a basic back massage today, and I’m planning to bring in a notebook next time so I can write down notes and such.

This is like a two-in-one deal too, because, aside from learning how to actually give a good massage, I also get one too. Win-win. I haven’t had regular massages since I misaligned my cervical vertebrae in a gymnastics+car accident (they happened separately, in case you were wondering). (My chiropractor’s wife was a masseuse. <3)

I need to wear a zip-up hoodie next time so I can just reverse it and thus, “preserve our modesty,” as our instructor puts it.

This is what I remember thus far:

1) Apparently, any kind of vegetable oil works really well as a massage oil. (Don’t use baby oil since your hands would just slip everywhere.) Oil technically might not even be necessary. :O

2) Once you make contact, you want to try not to break it until you’re done giving the massage.

3) Kneel close to him/her with your dominant hand closest to their head. Remember to keep your body upright and arching your back apparently helps too.

4) Start at the neck, using your finger pads to make circular motions close to the spine, all the way down to the lower back. Whichever way his/her head is facing = the side of the spine you want to be working on.

5) Use the heel of your hand next, to make circular motions starting from the neck and down again to the lower back. Keep your fingers relaxed, and try to do it within 1 exhale. (My breathing definitely isn’t doing that at the moment.)

6) Finish by moving to kneel in front of them and pushing with the heels of your hands from their neck to their lower back (on either side of the spine), coming back up on their sides in a circular motion to join your hands together.

Apparently, I did a really good job! :D Our instructor said my posture was awesome, and my housemate almost fell asleep. (I had to wake her up to tell her to turn her head.)

We’re also getting belay-certified on Thursday so we can go rock climbing for free. Hells yes!