The thing about memories is that they can keep dogging us until a moment arrives for them to feel the light of day. As you know, many of us still struggle to get there.

Thank you for sharing your precious journey. It inspires me to hold hope alongside the pain of what feels undone. It also reminds me of the gentleness and kindness that helps the next step not seem like a nightmare.

Hey Lee, around a month or so I ago I had the same talk with my wife, like you I'd outlined what had happened but this time told her every nasty detail, it hurt, I cried, she cried, she was angry (boy was she angry) but wow what a star she was, our relationship is so much better, I feel better, I feel like I'm healing.

Good luckDavid

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To look up and not down,To look forward and not back,To look out and not in

thank you all for the validating comments. a year ago i would not have believed that i would be where i am today.

i feel like i know each of you and can recall "conversations" that each of you participated in that have helped to get me to this new and better place. and there are so many others who have given of themselves, too.

i guess what i am saying is that none of us can do this alone. we need each other. and i thank each of you for being part of the process for me - and for one another.

LEE

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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

Lee because of you I am going to take a chance and tell my wife some of what happened to me. I will never be able to tell her everything do there will always be secrets but if I tell her some it's a start and will help her understand why I am the way I am. The worse that can happen is she leaves if that happens I guess it's meant to be that way. But I can't live with this it's killing me every minute of every day. Thanks for sharing

hey, James - let me know how it goes. PM if you like. i'll be glad to take some part of the credit - if it works well for you - but not sure i want the blame if it doesn't!seriously - i understand what it takes to do this - and what the risks are.hope you don't mind if i pray for a good outcome.LEE

_________________________
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

it might help you to write down what you plan to say first. get your thoughts in order. take your time, and wait until you are ready. a little preparation and rehearsal. professional consultation would not hurt either.

she may already have some notion or suspicion, that could soften the impact.

V's suggestion is a good one. I read what I wrote to her to make sure I said all I wanted to and nothing that I didn't want.

_________________________
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

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