Social Media Influencer Says Our Jealousy Is Really Just Fear

Chinae Alexander is a Brooklyn-based wellness expert who shares her life to a following of over 130,000 people online. On her namesake Instagram account, she’s known for what she calls “badassery,” where she inspires people to think positively and actively pursue self-love and improvement.

Through a series of posts with the hashtag #bebetter, Alexander consistently speaks her truth in the hopes that it resonates with her followers. According to one of her latest posts, Alexander’s words are a saving grace to many people.

“PLEASE READ,” she often writes at the beginning of her posts, encouraging her followers to take a moment from skimming through their social feeds to actually read something that might make a difference. “I wish I had a bigger apartment. Her husband is so much more thoughtful than mine. I bet they have better sex. A new car would be nice…nicer than what I have at least. Why can’t I have a “cool” job?” she wrote in her Sunday post. “Never satisfied with what exists, always looking over the proverbial fence to the greener grass or nicer ass next door. On the surface JEALOUSY…but deeper down, FEAR.

“Stop wishing for the life you want. Stop fearing that things won’t work out for you. Stop looking over the fucking fence. Make magic with what you have. Learn stuff from people rather than be envious of them. Get over your desire for more material shit, it’ll never make you happy,” the post continues. “And stop worry about your fucking ankles/thighs/weight/tits because they are just fine.”

The passionate post is one of many that Alexander puts on her page. All of which, she explains to Yahoo Beauty, are not planned.

“I never make content ahead of time. It’s how I keep things feeling real and of the moment. I get up and write what’s on my mind, things I’m ruminating through, in hope that someone out there in social media universe might also be thoughtful of those same things that day,” she says.

Many of these things are personal to Alexander, and her experiences that day or that week. All of them, however, reflect ideas that concern all humans. Wellness, relationships, and change tend to be part of the larger themes she touches upon, but the conversation may be sparked from a simple and seemingly uninspired moment.

“This particular post was sparked by a couple interactions I had had with people that day prior, in traveling and in my personal relationships,” she explains. “Empathy, for me, is at the heart of everything, so I wanted to dig down beyond the surface emotion of jealousy, and really get to the root, fear.”

In a follow-up post to the one shared on Sunday, Alexander expressed some of her own fears that underlie existing jealousy. “I NEED YOUR TRUST,” she wrote on Monday, before asking that her followers listen to her own admittance of fear and possibly share their own — which they subsequently did.

Each of her posts, and her videos on YouTube, are centered around her personal life and decisions. However, her followers respond in a way that shows how accurately the vulnerable messages depict their own lives as well.

“I read and was confronted with my bullshit,” one person commented on Sunday’s post. “Thank you for confronting your bullshit on social media. It helps remind me to do the same, on a daily basis. Thanks for being you.”

Hundreds of others follow suit in expressing their admiration of Alexander, who always seems to say exactly what they need to hear. “Just so on point,” one follower writes. “Thank you for bringing me back to reality,” says another.

Although it seems like she’s figured it all out, Alexander admits that these reflections are a simple part of understanding ourselves — something that she’s still trying to do herself.

“I don’t have all the answers for myself or others,” she says. “But I do think finding what’s actually going on is integral to the process of us working on ourselves effectively. It’s like if you’re treating a cold but you actually have a massive flesh wound. … Understanding what the problem actually is is the first major step in healing ourselves and becoming more empathetic to others.”