Hillary and Trump Switch Wigs

Hit the Woodline learned through anonymous sources that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump last night accidentally switched wigs at a four-star restaurant in New York.

The mishap occurred at Le Bernardin, in Manhattan, where meals on average cost around $150 per person. Both Clinton and Trump were there courting wealthy campaign donors. The trouble began when both candidates noticed and approached each other, with smiles and champagne glasses in hand, obviously intent on civil greetings.

But before they spoke, both presidential candidates bent down at the same time, to grab what they thought was a campaign check on the floor, and bumped heads. Witnesses at other tables say that both candidates screamed in pain at the impact, and then in outrage when both felt the draft the realized their wigs were on the floor.

Rumors of wigs have dogged both campaigns for some time, prompting numerous questions and hair pulling demonstrations, and even interviews with Hillary’s stylist, who claims that Hillary’s hair is “Fabulous, simply fabulous!”

Many have said, “Who cares if their hair is real or not?” But, as one political analyst said, “If we can’t trust them on hair, how can we trust them about anything?”

In the confusion of the quick recovery, somehow wigs were shuffled and wound up on the wrong heads. When realization hit, Trump was heard to say, “Bitch! Give me my toupe!” To which Hillary responded, “Asshole! Give me that check!”

The wigs were finally sorted out and placed on the correct crown, and the campaign check was actually found to be a dinner check, which both candidates declined.