miércoles, 2 de agosto de 2017

Digimon Abridged 6: A fistfull of salads (ENGLISH)

MONZAEMON: The next video is a
nonprofit and fanmade parody. Digimon is propiety of Akiyoshi Hongo, Toei
Animation and Bandai. Please, support the official release.

GOMAMON: Previously, on Digimon
Abridged… Yes, that’s me, Gomamon. The narrator couldn’t cam today and specifically
asked me to substitute him. That means I will digi-evolve in this episode! Now
let me read what let me written. The idiots, and Gomamon, were lost in a
factory and were attacked by the owner, like it should be. Cubonemon and
Garrulomon weren’t at his level and got their asses kicked. So the cockroach with
the Cutrerama Professor voice became an even uglier bug and defeated Bendermon.

Episode
6: a fistful of salads

TAI: This is my rifle, this is my
gun…

EVERYBODY: This is my rifle, this
is my gun…

AGUMON: One is the
phallus-centric representation of how women are oppressed in the first world
and the other first-worldly represents how human beings are oppressed in the
third world. Now you.

JOE: I don’t know what song it
is.

MIMI: Then you are dead for me.

TK: Wasn’t he dead for everybody?

IZZY: That’s how you flirt, Joe!

SORA: I love starting the
episodes like this.

TAI: It’s like a contest for
bullying the most.

*They laugh*

TAI: Are you all right, Sora? ARE
YOU ALL RIGHT?

SORA: I noticed something weird.

IZZY: There is a leak in your
tit, which I wasn’t looking. I just heard the falling drop.

SORA: This reminds me of the
clothing commercial I recorded.

*Commercial flashback*

SORA: Do you like the scent of
recently washed clothes? Do you like the texture of white and clean clothes?
Soft, nice and pure, very pure, like a virgin.

TOGEMON: We don’t show the entire
evolution for copyright restrictions!

*Mimi observes*

TOGEMON: I will make a new face
for Yogi.

*Togemon and Monzaemon get closer*

TOGEMON: I used to cut myself,
but cutting others is way funnier.

MONZAEMON: If you are going to
fight don’t cut the violence!

*YouTube doesn’t let uploading
this scene*

MIMI: Glad that I helped you!

PALMON: But don’t choke me!

MONZAEMON: Sorry guys for fought
you, I swear it wasn’t my intention. Sometimes I lose my shit, specially with
those wheels. But toys all over the world are so alone. We’re thrown in the
trash now that you have videogames.

MIMI: So it wasn’t the wheel what
unhinged him.

JOE: No, he was already buzzed.

MONZAEMON: We have always been
good with you, even if you break us. Even if we felt bad, we never wanted to
abandon you…

TAI: Well… we should be leaving.

MONZAEMON: And that frustrates me
a lot! All the toys in the world are…

SORA: Another dark wheel…

TAI: A metaphor on capitalism, I
suppose.

MONZAEMON: Why don’t you like
plushes? Why don’t you like teddy bears like me?

MIMI: Should we go before he
osotomizes us?

MONZAEMON: Don’t, guys, see how
good this feels!

*He stands*

MONZAEMON: I have a huge complex
because I’m substituted by videogames and that’s sad. THAT’S TOO SAD!

MIMI: It’s too pink even for me!

NUMEMON: Good work, Monzaemon!
Now put down the girl before the effect wears off.

SEADRAMON: Oh yes, it was me,
poor Seadramon…! Stop! I’m tired of goofing around! I’m the best known digimon
at home. I should be like an Egyptian god. Like, like Ra… Ramon… I will present
the Grand Prix.

MONZAEMON: Then, I purpose to
make a syndicate with all the toys in the world! A syndicate against
videogames! We will break them and destroy them! I don’t care if I’m put into a
videogame because Digimon is about that, but toys will survive! We will survive
and laugh at your videogames some day! Some day the world will know the
relevance we had on society! The relevance we had in your lives! The relevance
we had in your intellectual development! Some day they world will know, some
day!