Grappling Gimmick month mini-thesis

Anyway, my thesis, and grappling gimmick techniques. Keep in mind that i'm sure someone has done these before, but due to the fact that I am the first to give them a funny name, I am entitled by the laws of gimmick to claim to have re/discovered them and put out instructional DVDs on the subject.

The basis of all of these is what I call the Squid Shot. Standing, grab cross-collar, same side wrist control. Stiffarm him to force him somewhat upright. Not letting go of the stiffarm, you baseball slide under him, wrapping your legs around his feet and using the drop of your body to force his controlled wrist under his opposite leg, your head to the outside.
The most common squid shot takedown is called the "Suffocating Sperm Whale". Suppose you're stiffarming with your right hand. Wrap his right side leg from the outside with your right leg. He'll widen his base (if not, even better). Your left leg you are going to circle in a long arc towards you. Your calf will chop out his left foot and he will fall. If you can, for extra offbalancing, reach your left arm under(hook) his left knee and pull that knee towards you.

If that doesn't immediately put him down, from there, your course of action depends on the direction he shifts his weight.
One of the reasons this is so gimmicky is that it relies on a motion that feels to opponent like you are pulling him onto mount.

If he goes backwards or to either side, sit up on his leg like a child getting a ride on an adult's instep and drive to one of those directions. This is called the "Cthulhu Guard".

If he goes forward/drops down, sit up and drive your hips up for the hip heist/whitebelt killer (since he has no base on the controlled side) as spastically as possible. Usually, however, you won't need to do that, since if your head is correctly to the outside, then it is in his armpit and you can pop your hips out and scramble to his back. You will have space because you are still stiffarming him. Still, you can put a gimmicky spin on it by wrapping around the leg on the side you are popping out to and driving for what can only be called a sitting version of the major inner reap. Even more gimmicky would be to do an on your knees Uchi Mata. You'll end up in his halfguard where you must desperately scramble to reposition yourself before he takes YOUR back. This is called the "Rock Lobster Remainder".

Squid Shot----->Cosmic Fetus Guard

Using the baseball slide motion of the squid shot, slide under his legs and assume the fetal position on your back, knees and elbows connected, to give him nothing to collapse onto. From here there are many available sweeps. I reccomend the knees spread sweep (connect your upper shins to his inside knees, grab his feet around the ankles thrust your hips up and simalteneously spread his knees wide).

Squid Shot---->Cosmic Fetus Warp

This is where you take a squid shot and have such powerful momentum that you actually slide through their legs and to their back (KEEP KNEES AND ELBOWS CONNECTED). Switch your base to knees, drive for the rear single leg. If opponent is a good wrestler, he'll do that weird reverse sprawl thing where he...well, it's the "novel sprawl" on this image by kickcatcher. Just let go of the leg and spring forward to sink your hooks.

Squid Shot---->Agony of da fe(e)tal.

Squidshot, slide under his legs. If you think he'll take mount, cosmic fetus guard. In fact, as you do this, you'll be bringing at least one knee to your chest. Use your momentum from the shot, and as you drop, over hook just above his instep, we'll say the right foot for example. Wrap his leg with your right leg with foot tucked to his hip. Same time, either cinch his leg tight with left knee, or use left foot to kick his knee out. You are now in position to turn belly down and finish with reverse anklelock/half crab.

The Groin Kamikaze:

An extremely gimmicky use of the squid shot motion. Basically, use squid shot setup to get him standing more or less straight. Jump up, and instead of jumping guard around his waist, you do so around his knees. Cinch that guard tight and he is off balance. Think of it like that sweep where he stands in your guard so you relock your guard around his knees, but with the causality all fucked up.
You can also do this from squidshot by arching and angling your hips upward, called "Turret Tracking".
Even more gimmicky is the Nuclear Groin Kamikaze, which is done from a running start.

"The only important elements in any society
are the artistic and the criminal,
because they alone, by questioning the society's values,
can force it to change."-Samuel R. Delany

RENDERING GELATINOUS WINDMILL OF DICKS

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NON-EUCLIDIAN SPLATTERJOUST EVER

It seems that the only people who support anarchy are faggots, who want their pathetic immoral lifestyle accepted by the mainstream society. It wont be so they try to create their own.-Oldman34, friend to all children

I'll join you in your grappling gimmickery. Note that these ever-so-funky-moves are MY property. Even if some other fucker discovered them first.

The Scorpion Ankle Lock of Minor Discomfort

This is more accurately a way for absurdly flexible people to open the guards of insanely strong people (like those ever-annoying gymnasts. I fucking hate gymnast-trained bjjers :) )

From closed guard, bury your elbows to the sides, and lower your base (or, as my instructor is fond of saying, 'Get your cock to the ground!'). Arch your legs up and back, and hook them over your opponents' feet. Apply downward pressure (This works the same way as the crossed-feet ankle lock from back mount). This will make your opponent open the guard. Before he/she grapevines the legs, use your forearm to pin his/ her leg to the ground.

Now you are free to use your preferred guard pass from this position.

The BANZAI! suicide triangle escape

I inadvertantly discovered this whilst on the receiving end of my instructor's mounted triangle. I have subsequently used this on him and my academy's resident triangle demon successfully on a number of occasions. If the triangle's nearly on, there's nothing better.

Firstly: Okay, you're all but fucked. Your opponent has your posture broken, the triangle set, and he/she is about to pull your arm across.

Secondly: Let them pull your arm across, secure your arm around your opponent's leg, and keep spinning, until you are in an ass-backwards reverse triangle. This position is not really secure, by any means. With your free hand, lift the top leg off the bottom leg. Be aware that you are in serious danger of being back mounted, but WTF, you're still fighting!

You and your partner both have right leads. You drop on your right knee, angling it towards his right foot. Reaching down with you right hand towards his right ankle, you begin to pivot on your right knee, swinging your body until it forms a T with his right side. As you do the spin, make sure to secure the right ankle, end up with the left side of your head in his torso, and secure his right thigh with your left arm. After the spin is complete, you should have your left foot on the ground behind him, your right knee on the ground in front of his right foot, his right ankle in your right hand, his right thigh secured with your left arm, and your head in firmly in his torso (with your left ear on him). Garnish with a lift, twist, or drop to taste. The Electric Bugaloo is a good drink, especially with a Side Mount chaser.