…Wait! Don’t think it’s another philosophical drivel only ‘cuz I choose to speak through Ketan’s blog! How many weighing machines’ life-stories you’ve heard?

I used to like kids standing on my feet. Their big eyes would further widen when I’d make faces – my blinking lights & rotating disks – they’d chuckle, not bothered by their weight at all! They loved me – their entertainer. But now kids find my antics silly 😦 Why won’t they? Having seen smart cards & ATMs, the idea of feeding me a coin & see me come to life no longer excites them.

But not just kids, even grown ups have changed. In those days, they were not bothered by the printed number. Except if too big, they would call themselves “healthy”, smile & get down happy. But later on, no number could satisfy them. Most wanted it to be much smaller. They always left dejected.

Somehow I’d always wished that everyone be happy, & none be sad ‘cuz of me. So I started showing 5% less weight. Some people got happy, but not others. So I started reducing 10%. This made many happy. They started praising me, wishfully calling me truthful, but that’s not what I was! I longed to be known as nice! It was ironical that weight I showed wasn’t accurate, yet I wanted the praise to be!

Once, I overheard a doctor explain something about BMI & how overweight people suffered more from heart attack & stroke. He also said obesity was an epidemic & was killing Indians at younger age. I was shocked! I wanted to mend my ways. But having got used to people’s praise, I couldn’t regain the courage to be truthful. I still showed reduced weight.

Then one day, a mechanical mechanic failing to understand I also had feelings, reported that my spring wasn’t yielding enough ‘cuz of corrosion & I must be taken away for showing wrong weight. Like all non-humans that die at the end of autobiographical school-essays, I too wanted to. But his boss reminded him of profits, & how his promotion hinged on it. I now understood the true purpose of my life.

“Like all non-humans that die at the end of autobiographical school-essays, I too wanted to.”

Haha..very clever post, Ketan! I was kinda hoping to see a post here that I cud comment on without having to read heavy stuff (I have enuff of that what with Harrison around) and I am so glad that I found it. 🙂 I wish they’d been more creative in school and given us a weighing machine to write an autobiographical essay about instead of the trees and bicycles they kept giving us 😉