7 Funny Things Everyone Does When They’re Alone

There’s something about solitude that tends to bring out the cah-razy side in people – I mean, just think of all the funny things everyone does when they are alone! I will be the first to admit it; the moment you walk through that door, my inhibitions go with you like a little Chihuahua in your handbag. When no one’s watching, I will break out the crazy, terrible dancing like it’s no one’s business (and it’s really not; my awful dance moves cannot be unseen). Nutella lids will come off, and a spoon will meet that Nutella with more intensity than THAT kiss from The Notebook. Yes, I brought The Gos into this. Hey girl, that’s just what happens; shameless feasting is one of many funny things people do when they are alone.

1. SINGING TO MUSIC SUPER-LOUD
You’re alone and your favorite song comes on shuffle. You look around. No one’s here to judge you. No Simon Cowell to scowl and say “Listen, darling, that was just… it was worse than listening to my cat cough up a hairball. Actually, I think the cat would sound better.” There is only you, singing a song that makes you very happy, at the top of your lungs. The Frozen album is my current obsession; I sing it in my car. When I should be going into a social event, I’m usually belting out “Don’t know if I’m elated or gassy, but I’m somewhere in that zooone!” No shame; it’s just one of those funny things people do when they are alone!

2. FOOTPATH FANCIES
When you’re walking somewhere alone, there are inevitable games that you’re going to play with yourself. And unlike Guess Who, they can be successfully played alone. They include: stepping on every crunchy looking leaf in sight, jumping over cracks and seeing how many pavement squares you can jump over in one go. Come on, you know you’ve done it.

3. KIDDY STUFF
There were things we all loved to do as kids, like dressing up and coloring. Also acceptable are hopscotch and swings. I am absolutely certain that you never stop loving these things, and many adults still enjoy them when they get the chance. Not everyone can do them with judging eyes present, but once they’re alone… it’s a different story. I have a Disney coloring book, and I love chilling out with a page of calming Belle and Beast coloring. It is seriously relaxing. And if I see swings in a park as I walk by, you can bet your last gold chocolate coin that I will be all over them like a tween on a Justin Bieber cut-out. When we’re alone, we become kids again. And. It. Is. Awesome.

4. YELLING AT THE TV
Solitude turns up the volume on even the quietest viewer. Put on the sport with a biased referee, follow the horror movie bimbo as she roams the abandoned house, clad only in her underwear and an inability to predict her impending death, and you will see that we all yell at the TV more than normal when we’re alone. When you don’t have to worry about disturbing anyone else’s viewing experience, you can feel free to scream at the ref to pull his head in, and yell at the now-decapitated bimbo that she probably should have done the same.

5. GETTING OUR GEEK ON
There are two kinds of geek – the loud-and-proud kind that book out Comic-Con and costume-up, and the just-as-proud-but-slightly-less-loud ones who prefer to get their geek on without the pressure of prying eyes. If you are the second kind, alone time is when you like to soak up all those documentaries about obscure topics that no one else wants to watch. Solitude means that you will veg out on a Manga marathon for 24 hours straight, or finally sit down and solve that Rubik’s Cube that you got when you were 12 and STILL CAN’T FIGURE OUT. You know that no one will change the channel, no one will make fun of your cartoon crush on that Manga character, and no one will laugh at you and tell you that a 9-year-old could solve that stupid cube faster than you.

6. ACTING OUT YOUR REACTION TO CERTAIN EVENTS
In life there are important occasions, and sometimes the only way to prepare for those occasions is to act them out with a hairbrush-microphone in front of the mirror beforehand. I’m talking about school debates, wedding toasts, and of course, Oscar acceptance speeches… “I’m just so thankful to my family, and to the Academy, and…hey, I’m not done! Don’t play me off!”

It can be much easier to figure out what you would say in certain situations if you have practiced it. Like that time my friend caught me pretending to audition for Australian Idol. That was funny, and I was doing it alone. Until she saw me. Ha ha.

7. ACTING THE PART
Last but not least, for those aspiring actors/singers not lucky enough to be doing it as their day job, alone time is for re-creating famous movie scenes and musical numbers with careless abandon. A fan of Risky Business? Get your tighty-whitey-and-socks combo on and slide away! And when you’re done, do some stretches and show me that Flashdance sliding move too! Fan of a certain musical? All the room is a stage, and as far as you’re concerned, everyone loves your rendition of My Fair Lady’s “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?”, replete with thick cockney accent, guv’nah!

Being alone means being free, and that means acting out your wildest dreams and having a ball. A party of one can mean acting absolutely, certifiably crazy, and you know what? That’s fine. Because we all need to access our silly side every now and then. A little insanity keeps us all sane. So next time you’re alone, relax, let your hair down and don’t forget to get all crazy.