's a lot of spelling errors, I would advise the use of some sort of grammar and spell checking program.
to avoid unnecessary repletion in your descriptions such as: The blood dripped onto the floor... slowly dripped blood down her chin and onto the floor - in the same or adjacent sentences.
3. "4 grotesque creature" - I discourage use of numbers in this context "four" would be more appropriate.
4."4 grotesque creature with two spear like limbs jutting from there shoulders ran at her"
I don't know what are nechromorphs but this description is lazy and undetailed, you don't want to know the image in my head after reading this sentence.
5. Try be more clearer and realistic when writing action scenes "she discharged two shots from her plasma pistol at each of them, which severed the creatures limbs." - There is four creatures in the corridor, in previous sentence you stated they have two limbs jutting from shoulders and I assume they also have two legs, so did she fired eight or sixteen shots at them in order to dismember them and did she had time for that? Are they fast, hard to hit? Is she excellent marksman even while injured? How realistic does that sound to you?
6. "come on, gotta keep going..." - There is no need to use both quotation marks and italics when writing what character is thinking, one is quite enough. The usual practice is to use quotes in dialog and italics for thoughts.

Ben chapter 2 . 8/15/2012

Written well enough, quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes that take away from the immersion somewhat.

Lancer07 chapter 1 . 7/29/2012

I see what you did with the chapter names great idea this sound like a great story can't wait for more

Lancer07 chapter 1 . 7/28/2012

Nice work with the chapter names I think i know the name now of the girl can't wait for more