Top Toupee Quotes

Favorite Toupee Quotes

1. "First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back."Author: Bauvard

2. "Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle spasm. In his hands, a frightened beer bottle is choked with the steel grip of a sexually repressed Preacher."Author: Brett Tate

4. "Pretty Woman was the easiest job I've ever done. I just wore the right toupee."Author: Hector Elizondo

5. "Thomas Bowman's toupee, alas, was never found. He was somewhat mollified by the gift of a very fine hat from Westcliff on Christmas day."Author: Lisa Kleypas

6. "This movie is a toupee made up to look like honest baldness."Author: Pauline Kael

7. "Oh, I remember how beautiful you were. You didn't have any hair. You were such a bald little booger, I thought I was going to have to save up to buy you a toupee."Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

8. "An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper. One of the firefighters look at the other. "Not again."Author: Tim Dorsey

9. "The Soul Toupee is that thing about ourselves we are most deeply embarrassed by and like to think we have cunningly concealed from the world, but which is, in fact, pitifully obvious to everybody who knows us."Author: Tim Kreider