Rodgers: Get ready for Santa Claus

That simple, yet powerful, sentence has taken on new meaning in the Rodgers’ household. It has evolved from common, yet effective, threat, to a dawning light at the end of a long tunnel.

I’ll explain.

Years ago, when Kaitlyn was a newborn and her first Christmas was days away, Jim and I were alternating our gaze from our brand new baby to the White House-sized Christmas tree that was overtaking our living room. And I said, perhaps, the dumbest thing I’ve ever said. But, I was a rookie mom whose child had yet to push the envelope in terms of behavior when I said, “I’ll never use Santa as a threat to our children.”

God, I was so young and naďve. And stupid. And arrogant.

Since that time of ignorance, I’ve written the book on how to effectively use Santa Claus as a threat for children. It can be found in the Realistic Guide to Parenting and Not the Politically Correct Guide Parenting aisle.

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Seriously, if parents out there find this form of discipline (or desperation, if you will) deplorable, then you are a better mom than me (or dad than my husband). I am not ashamed to admit my weaknesses, vulnerabilities or outlandish desire for a calm and peaceful household.

Once Kaitlyn moved past the 2-year-mark and into her terrible 3 years (nothing short of a nightmare), I started with Santa threats as early as July. That was a last-ditch, Hail Mary pass I went to if nothing else worked. Believe me, “The Bad Seed” kid had nothing on my sweet 3-year-old angel.

Fortunately, for all of us, Kaitlyn grew out of that horrible stage into the sweet, wonderful daughter she is now (she reads this column.) But she was just the first. Then came Thomas.

If I had my way, Thomas would still be a Santa believer. I got a lot of traction with Santa and his stringent guidelines that only good little boys got the toys they wanted. I don’t know when Tommy learned the truth about St. Nick, but I curse the day. I could really use that threat now that he’s a college student (well, he’s away at college, and that explains why I need the Santa threat.)

Now, it’s Matthew’s turn. And I know, some of you reading this have gotten drunk on the Matthew Kool-Aid, but believe me, I use the Santa threat much more with him than I did with Kate and Tommy.

Matthew has turned manipulation into a profession. I just wish someone paid his salary instead of me. I realized the other day why I’m such a pawn to him…when he looks at me through his glasses, and the thick lenses make his blue eyes huge. Too cute.

Back to Santa.

Yes, I use Santa as a threat with Matthew. Nothing new there. What is new is that Matthew, according to my youngest, is Santa.

If this is true, and if this comes to pass, it will be a true Christmas miracle.

For as many years as Matthew was a student at St. Katherine Day School, he’s always wimped out for the Christmas Show. And SKDS puts on a remarkable show. The first year Matthew refused to come out of the classroom, I was upset and frustrated. The second year, I tried to talk him into getting on stage, and again he refused. I finally gave up trying, and enjoyed the kids who worked so hard and put on terrific performances.

Last year, we had a minor breakthrough. Matthew actually made it up on stage (well, sort of, he was so far off to the side I really couldn’t see him). But he was up there, and I was thrilled.

So this year, a note came home that Room 5 would be performing “Here Comes Santa Claus,” and that one student would be Santa and the other kids would be the reindeer. I asked Matthew who Santa was, never dreaming he would say, “Me.”

Keep in mind Matthew has a tendency to, shall we say exaggerate, so I asked him again, and again he said, “Me.” Determined to get to the truth, I said, “No, really, who’s Santa?” And he said, “I AM. I’M SANTA.” (All caps because he was frustrated with me.)

I haven’t yet confirmed it with his teacher, so I have to believe him. I want to believe him. Because by making him Santa, Miss Rene’ has removed Matthew’s escape route. He has to go front and center on stage.

And it’s more than just a Christmas show performance. Like all kids, Matthew has to face his fears, and not let those fears or worries cripple him, or prevent him experiencing what life has to offer.

I know from experience that the only thing better than hurdling over something you don’t want to, is actually enjoying the dreaded moment.

He might be scared at first, and he might think getting front and center that small SKDS stage is the scariest thing he’s ever done, but when it’s over, when he’s stolen the spotlight, he will be thrilled.

And so will I. I am counting the days until my little Santa Claus comes to town. (I just hope he was telling me the truth and he really is Santa.)