Scandal Heat Index: Olivia Pope Is a Cheerleader or a Nanny or a Bodyguard or a Dealer or a Fluffer

We’re heading down the stretch, guys. After last night’s episode, there are only two more to go. And . . . it looks as though the driving, plot-instigating force, as we careen into the finale, is going to be nothing less than, literally, a ticking time bomb. Thankfully, Olivia seems to be getting back on her game, even as her love triangle becomes increasingly fraught.

Hotter than a dude telling you he “can’t walk past you in the hallway” without being overcome by emotion

Abby. Abby was so great in this episode! She was thankfully dragged out of her ongoing David Rosen-related Bickering Lovers subplot and given some new stuff to play. Olivia anointed Abby her stand-in at the White House while Liv dealt with, oh, you know, just taking down B613 (though actually, for Liv, that kind of task is as ordinary as picking up floss at Duane Reade would be for any of us). And the writers clearly had a lot of fun with the Abby-as-Olivia conceit, dressing her in a trademark Olivia Pope white coat (“Nice coat,” Cyrus quipped), creating a bit around no one in the White House remembering her name (most going with “Gabby”); and giving her, at episode’s end, in a nice button on the story, a “this is who you are, you can do this!” Olivia Pope monologue of her own—delivered to none other than the actual Olivia Pope. Also! There appears to be the hint of a nascent love triangle in our midst, as Abby and Leo—Sally Langston’s Olivia Pope—both, at different points, had a telltale “smirk following some quippy banter” close-up, which, in television land, means we’re probably only an episode away from these two getting more intimately acquainted, likely in an elevator or a hallway.

Liv is back. Olivia has been floundering a bit these past few weeks, continually appearing weighed down and despondent, grappling with her plotting parents, high-drama love triangle, as well as the election and B613. Part of the issue here may be that the “case of the week” episode structure of Scandal of yore has largely been ditched this season, meaning there are fewer opportunities to watch Olivia “solve a case” or put someone away or tell it like it is to some jilted wife who we won’t see again. But this episode featured two excellent Olivia Pope monologues that had us jonesing for a filled-to-the-brim glass of red wine to toast in celebration. The first took place when she flipped out during a conversation with Fitz (more on their dynamic later), asking, “What service can I render you today?,” and then basically eviscerated Fitz’s neediness, cataloguing the ways in which she is essentially debased by his whims as they relate to her. Then, when she has to ensure Andrew stays away from Mellie, she gives Andrew the choice between becoming vice president or continuing to sleep with Mellie—in brutal, unsweetened terms. “Given the choice between love and power, men always choose power,” she laments. Andrew’s all, “What did [Fitz] do to you?,” while, meanwhile, we were clapping with glee.

The return of Jeannine. Unexpectedly, Jeanine Locke returned this week, and we learned she has written a book about her stint as Fitz’s mistress titled, perfectly, Taken for Granted. A reporter (who presumably works for TMZ) asks Jeannine if Fitz is more of “a breadstick or a baguette,” to which Jeannine responds, “He’s definitely a baguette.” Were this to happen in real life, such a quote would no doubt be the one that finally sinks Twitter completely, so the fact that baguette-gate was dropped by the middle of the episode did not feel realistic!

Quinn. Quinn has a conscious! She still loves Olivia! We knew it was only a matter of time before Quinn, despite her attempts to pull off some B613 swagger, would show her true OPA colors. We were very happy to see her bolt into the Mama Pope Hotel Suite of Glamorous Villainy despite Charlie’s protestations, spurred by some Olivia-protecting spirit. We have a feeling that either Charlie or Quinn will not make it until the end of the finale, perhaps with Quinn having to make an explicit choice between saving Charlie or Olivia.

Mellie and the ties. Mellie had a rough episode, getting shafted by her lover Andrew (we’ll get into that below), but—amidst a string of episodes disappointingly bereft of memorable fashion looks—Mellie looked incredible during the scene where she was picking out ties for Fitz. As Kerry Washington put it on Twitter last night: “Ms @BellamyYoung looking like a sexy cat on a hot tin roof. Beautiful. YES!!!!!”

Mama Pope. We got a Pope family reunion this week—and it was tense and highly charged, if brief. We haven’t been thrilled with the way in which Mama Pope has been deployed these past six episodes, and have been excited for her to really lock horns with Olivia, which seems to (to an extent, at least) be happening now, as Maya had a woman working with Olivia killed and then showed up for some knife-fondling and (metaphorical) mustache-twirling at dinner. And we were glad to see that the wine bottle doesn’t fall far from the tree, as far as the Pope women’s predilections are concerned.

Colder than a drunk ex-boyfriend showing up in the middle of the night at your apartment door and refusing to leave

Andrew. Andrew was so easily manipulated! Maybe this is the ardent Mellie supporter that lives inside of us, but we really thought that—after Olivia’s impassioned ultimatum to Andrew (Mellie or the vice-presidency?)—the show (which is comprised basically entirely of power-hungry connivers) would surprise us by offering a character willing to choose love, instead. But nope! Andrew picked power like the rest of ‘em. Mellie had—what?—two and a half or three episodes of relative happiness. We have a feeling their romance isn’t completely dead (there are two episodes left, after all), but after all the excitement surrounding Mellie Finally Getting Some, this felt a little bit abrupt and a bit hard to believe. Not to mention: Why does Fitz even care about these two being together?!?! We know, we know, there was this whole scene in which Fitz tried to communicate to Olivia exactly why he cared in this very episode, but we just weren’t feeling it. Wouldn’t he want a happy, focused Mellie around, rather than a scorned, vindictive Mellie?

Jake. O.K., let’s get into this Jake situation. Toward the beginning of the episode, Jake shows up outside Olivia’s door, drunk, in the middle of the night, pleading to be let in. He says things like “I miss you . . .” and “I asked you to save me and you said no” and it’s all very emo and Drake, and vaguely creepy. Olivia tells him to leave multiple times, and he does, finally, but not until after he bangs on the door a few times. Olivia has made clear that, for better or for worse, she’s going with Grant; but, this is a television show, so that’s not going to stop Jake from pursuing her. So, we thought we were in the same, sad place with these two . . . until, later in the episode, Huck told Olivia that in order to get access to B613’s special access code or whatever, she needed to get some alone time with Jake’s phone . . . meaning, yes, she, naturally, had to sleep with him! Now there are probably like 40 other ways they could have achieved their goal here (have Abby pose as an Apple genius, have Harrison sneak in while he’s in the shower), but it was just sort of decided Olivia sleeping with him was the only possible way to make it happen. It was icky and strange (though Olivia’s post-coitus “I missed you” seemed potentially imbued with some genuine feeling), and, of course, Jake ultimately figured out what had went down, as the episode concludes with him choking (!) Olivia at the OPA office, while the rest of the gladiators stand by, oddly stationary.

Fitz. Things weren’t so much better at the other corner of Olivia’s love triangle. Things are still quite . . . murky between Fitz and Liv, and, as ever, there’s yelling and guilt-tripping and quivering lips and proclamations (“I am not the bad guy!”). Olivia told him that she plays their relationship over and over in her head “like a movie,” but that “the movie just stops.” To us, it feels less like it’s “stopping” and more like there’s some kind of glitch that keeps replaying the same part. We’ve said this before, but these two are so great together; let’s see what an actual relationship looks like on them—or, at the very least, let’s see some new shades of gloom (which perhaps will be the case when Fitz realizes Olivia is indirectly responsible for this attempted assassination by bomb).

Harrison. It really seemed like Harrison was going to get so much to do during the back half of this season, what with the return of Adnan. But . . . Adnan is sort of a non-entity, and Harrison’s involvement in the story—this week involving recruiting some random woman who ended up being killed—is somehow making a plot that seems like it should be sexy and intriguing feel kind of drab. We want a surprise revelation (he’s secretly working for B613!) or a new romance (with Lauren, Fitz’s secretary!)—something, anything!

The shut down. After all of that build-up and anticipation, all that really happened when OPA “shut down” B613 was . . . their computers and phones went out? That’s, like, a normal Thursday night in Manhattan when the cable goes out.

Tick, tick. Maybe we’re just sort of “bomb-ed out” after Homeland and 24 and all the other shows that consistently feature characters needing to save the world in the nick of time, but we can’t say we’re thrilled that it appears as though next week’s episode will focus on Mama Pope’s “present” targeted at the Fitz administration. We’re sort of unclear, still, on Maya’s motives; we’ve seen Fitz in peril before (and know, as the romantic lead, he is unlikely to be killed); and we even had a bomb-related scare earlier this season in that episode when Olivia was trapped in the White House. Hopefully, the bomb will be dealt with next week, before the finale offers something totally different.