Defrosted Disappointment

Despite CNET’s assertion last week that Bigfoot couldn’t possibly be a hoax because people always bring their A game to Palo Alto, the carcass in the ice has turned out to be a rubber gorilla suit. And the freezer wasn’t that big either.

Sorry, Bigfoot believers, this means the DNA evidence presented at last week’s press conference almost certainly came from one or more non-Bigfoot sources, and probably not from a Giant Bipedal Possum of northern Georgia either.

With websites around the world gleefully spreading the news, it’s perhaps best to let professional Bigfoot hunter Tom Biscardi — who arranged last week’s Palo Alto press extravaganza — speak for himself. But as it seems Biscardi wasn’t present at The Thawing, he’s deferred the task to someone else.

Here then is part of the eyewitness account from Tom Kulls of SquatchDetective.com, as posted on Biscardi’s site:

“On August 17th, 2008 Searching for Bigfoot Team Director of Field Operations, TJ Biscardi [Tom’s son] and myself, were up early to discover that some hair was now exposed. I extracted some from the alleged corpse and examined it and had some concerns. Bob Schmalzbach arrived and concurred. We burned said sample and said hair sample melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair.

At that time we contacted Mr. Biscardi who gave us permission to begin an expedited melting process. We set up a salamander [portable] heater to heat the freezer. Within one hour we were able to see the partially exposed head, as I was now able to touch it, I was able to feel that it seemed mostly firm, but unusually hollow in one small section. This was yet another ominous sign. Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. As the team and I began examining this area near the feet, I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot.”

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