It's been about 24 hours since we last wrote about Brett Favre, the Wranglers wearin', gunslinger who hasn't played in an NFL game in 12 months. He released a statement Tuesday night suggesting that won't change anytime soon.

"In spite of reports about playing with various teams, I'm enjoying retirement with my family and have no plans to play football."

To which we added: "Hopefully, this is the last we speak of Brett Lorenzo Favre's possible return to the NFL (although somehow we suspect it won't be)."

We suspected right. On Monday, there were reports that Favre would consider joining the Bears, who lost starter Jay Cutler to a broken thumb. Backup Caleb Hanie has been wholly unimpressive as Cutler's replacement, throwing six interceptions and going winless in two games. Chicago said they weren't interested in Favre (or Donovan McNabb), and Favre promptly released the statement saying he's happy in his post-football career.

That should be that. But this is Favre, where "retired" sometimes means "I'll be back in a bit" and "no" means something much less definitive.

We really do think Favre's NFL career is over, but not everyone's convinced. CBSSports.com's Mike Freeman wrote Wednesday morning that "When Favre says he wasn't interested in the Bears job, he wasn't quite telling the entire story. He was definitely interested, I'm told, but when the Bears made it known the interest wasn't eventually reciprocated, then Favre made his public statement about not wanting to play."

"He didn't really expect Brett to come back," Cutler said. "Brett probably would have came back, but I'm sure it would have to be a very, very high number money-wise, and it would have been interesting.

"[Favre's] a West Coast (offense) guy. That's the reason he went to the places he went, Minnesota, and he was the entire time in Green Bay. So for him to jump in this system and try to orchestrate this offense would have been difficult for him."

Favre made about $25 million during his two seasons in Minnesota (never mind his earnings from the previous 18 years in the league). We'd like to think that money wouldn't be a motivating factor at this point in the proceedings.

Either way, we're with Freeman when he writes: "I think we have finally reached a Favre finality. At least, that seems to be the sentiment around the NFL. Teams are finally done with Favre. They no longer think his talent matches the accompanying headaches."

So we'll say it once more, this time with feeling: "Hopefully, this is the last we speak of Brett Lorenzo Favre's possible return to the NFL."

It took a few years, but it finally appears that Brett Favre is officially retired. Sure, there were reports at various points this offseason (and well into the preseason) to the contrary, but Favre's agent, Bus Cook, told ESPN's Adam Schefter that not a single team inquired about his client at any point this summer.

"I haven't heard from anybody saying, 'We'd like to talk to you about Brett,' " Cook said. "There have been rumors about Philadelphia, Miami, Indianapolis. But we have not had any calls."

Which must be a relief for Favre, who spent previous offseasons planning his unretirement press conference to coincide with the end of training camp but now sounds like a man happy trade in bone-crushing hits for wrangler jeans and impromptu pick-up games.

In June, Favre said “I can still throw the ball as well as I ever have. No question about that,” before adding “I don’t want to put my body through that anymore. I’ve been beat up enough.” A month later, Cook reiterated those sentiments, saying that Favre is "retired, period."

And while Favre's playing career may be over, he may not be done with football. Like many former players and coaches, there's always television. "He'd be real good at it, and people would tune in to watch him," Cook said. "But I'm not sure that he wants to be away from home all those days."

As for what's on Sunday's docket? "He's not one to sit around and watch TV -- I don't think he'll be sitting around watching ballgames all day," Cook said. "He may catch a replay here or there." Translation: he'll be fishing. Which is great news for those of us burned out on the weekly "Favre's coming back?!" speculation.

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Even though Brett Favre is supposedly retired and not returning to the NFL, talks of him returning in one way or another still continue to fly at us. Much to our chagrin, naturally.

While Favre told a Miami Herald reporter earlier this month that he hasn’t talked to anybody, really, how can you believe him when he’s come back for just one more season so many times? Well, maybe this will help convince you.

"I don't have that feeling, that chip on my shoulder," Favre told WGR-AM in Buffalo, via NFL.com. "I mean, I could easily talk myself into that chip on my shoulder like, 'Hey everybody hates you,' ... I could motivate myself."

That’s funny about the “everybody hates you” comment. It means Favre definitely is NOT suffering the effects of too many blows to the head.

Back to the interview, Favre also said that he probably should have retired after the 2009 season when he led the Vikings to the NFC title game (but threw a really, really bad pick at the end of the contest that helped keep Minnesota out of the Super Bowl, which is pretty much the reason he returned for 2010 in the first place).

So, after telling the Miami Herald’s Jeff Darlington “I haven’t heard anything, and I don’t have any interest,” after the reporter asked Favre about rumors that he would play for the Dolphins and now with this latest piece of information about his chip-less shoulder, we are fairly secure in saying this: Favre, um, probably isn’t coming back to play.

Or, you could just believe his agent, Bus Cook, when he said last month, “He’s retired. Period.”

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But all the fault isn't on Sparano -- Dave Hyde, a Sun-Sentinel columnist definitely poured a couple gallons of gasoline on the proverbial fire when he decided to write a column Thursday titled, "Why shouldn't the Dolphins call Brett Favre?"

His list of five specific reasons why the 'Fins should sign Favre are, actually, not that suspect, outside of the part about turning "the Dolphins from a team no one's talking about to one everyone is."

That's just silly, in my opinion. And not because all the publicity surrounding Favre with the Jets and Vikings the last two years has been terrible either. It's because the goal is to win football games, not "get attention."

But, yeah, I'll recognize that Favre might sell more tickets than incumbent Chad Henne. And jerseys. And ... well, maybe that one works too, dammit.

Still, couldn't we at least just let the initial overtures on Favre begin in a way that doesn't require me to delete a bunch of comments telling me that "this isn't news"? Please?

And, according to Deadspin.com, that's exactly what happened -- Stephanie Dusenberry reached out to the website (they have her typo-riddled email here as well as a very NSFW picture of a man posing naked in a mirror) to alert them that she received texts from a "Hattisburg.MS" number and eventually called the Eden Prairie police because she felt harassed.

She told Deadspin during phone conversations that "she had problems both in session and out of session with former Vikings defensive back Dwight Smith, wide receiver Aundrae Allison, and back-up running back Albert Young."

Young is (allegedly) the man in the NSFW photo that was (allegedly) texted to Dusenberry.

Awkwardly Dusenberry didn't save the text messages, but told Deadspin she is seeking to obtain the call logs. There's some significant disparity between Dusenberry's claim that she and Jerrad Biggar of the Eden Prairie police department had a conversation "explicitly about Brett Favre" -- Biggar told Deadspin that he "remembers having a conversation with a Vikings massage therapist this fall, but doesn't recall Dusenberry's name or any mention of Favre."

Bus Cook, Favre's agent, didn't return a call for comment on the situation and Greg Aiello, NFL spokesman seemed short with his comment to Deadspin as well.

"I haven't heard anything about this, won't comment on it, don't plan on looking into it at this time, and probably won't comment on it until necessary," Aiello said.

Obviously, any new news about Favre isn't exactly the NFL's concern if he's retired. But the possibility of an additional scandal breaking out in Minnesota (relating to "bizarre" sexual activity by members of the Vikings) certainly can't be palpable.

As it turns out, the two items in the title are actually unrelated, although the idea of Brett Favre reading the Men's Journal article where Bus Cook called him a "drama queen" and then eating two gallons of double-fudge, chocolate chunk ice cream while crying in his room is pretty amusing.

But, yeah, that's not what happened. However, the reasonably awkward quotes about Favre from Cook in Stephen Rodrick's article did inspire a reaction from Favre, when WDAM's Mitchell Williams caught up with Favre at Oak Grove High School on Wednesday and asked him about the whole shebang (you can watch the video here ):Really kind of Bus has caught a little grief in the story with Men's Journal ... [Rodrick] spent a day with us. We filmed the Wrangler commercial that day. We joked around and really it was a joking around [day]. You know Bus, you know me. We opened up our family lives to him. I guess the lesson to be learned in all that -- I hate to even say it -- [is] just that you can't trust anybody. That's not the way I was raised [to think like that]. Oh yeah, and he admitted that he gained 14 pounds in the offseason. What a FATTY, right?

Seriously though (since I bet everyone's pretty confident Favre can shed a couple LB's before the season starts), Rodrick's article sounds as if Bus and Brett get into semi-serious spats about Favre flying by the seat of his pants; read it carefully and you can find some humor in the Cook and Favre exchange.

Which, I think, is the point that Favre is trying to make here; the problem is he just didn't make it clear and now people believe that he's being dramatic about being called a drama queen. The easy out would have been to just say that it's "unfortunate when reporters patently take stories out of context" and then let Rodrick read between the lines the next time he wants an interview.

The August issue of Men’s Journal may be worth reading. There’s a story in there by Stephen Rodrick that provides very candid (and, we’ll assume, light-hearted) griping from Bus Cook, aka Brett Favre’s Agent. Apparently Cook isn’t always thrilled by his client’s well-known flair for the dramatic. Here’s an excerpt:

“Brett talked to (goshdarned) Ed Werder at ESPN, says he needs ankle surgery. Now why did he do that? I’ve got Childress calling. I’ve got reporters calling all damn morning. Goddammit, why does he have to be such a goddamned drama queen? Play, don’t play, goddamn, people are getting sick of it. I’m getting sick of it! Why does he have to talk to these people? What good does it do? Ed Werder at ESPN! What’s he ever done for anybody other than say, ‘Look, look, Mommy, I got this first, ain’t I special?’ You got problems with surgery, talk to your wife. Why talk to goddamned Ed Werder?”

A giant white pickup truck rumbles into the parking lot. The driver gingerly steps down from his perch. Cook looks out the window. He mulishly paws the rug with his sneakers.

“Goddamn, there’s Brett. This is going to be interesting.”

The silver-haired Favre is dressed in shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, looking simultaneously like a kid and the grandpa he has just become. As he comes in the front door, his ruddy face breaks into a sheepish grin, one he’s flashed a thousand times, chinstrap undone, at head coaches after throwing across his body into double coverage. He didn’t flash it the last time he tried that maneuver on New Orleans turf. He was too tired, too broken. Actually, we may never see that smile again. That’s why we are here.

“Hey, Bus,” says Favre.

He speaks slowly, a boy trying to delay a spanking.

“I guess I screwed up. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I just told him that I might need surgery. He made it into a big thing.”

Bus stares him down, but his face crumples into an exasperated grin.

“Jesus, Brett. You never learn. You guys go talk. I’ve got goddamn phone calls to make.” He pokes a finger at Brett. “Thanks to you.”Favre eases himself into a chair with the slight, obligatory groan of the middle-aged. (He turns 41 in October.) He knows what you’re thinking. On the field, you want him drawing plays up in the dirt, making things happen without a plan. You don’t want to know that’s how Favre lives the rest of his life. The ankle surgery kerfuffle — getting the procedure done, the speculation goes, may indicate he’s coming back — is just the latest production number in year three of “Will He or Won’t He Play,” Favre’s one-man show. At this point everyone is counting ceiling tiles and looking at their watches.

“You’d think I’d know better by now,” he says. He offers a different kind of smile: sad and weary. “I’ve learned a lot through the years. What I haven’t learned is what I’ll do and when I’ll do it.”-- Andy Benoit

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