Back in early January, my SO and I decided that we were both ready to be engaged, and we wanted to get married in September/October 2012. We also briefly discussed the fact that I want a minimum 6-month engagement (and preferably a few months longer). He agreed that a shorter engagement would feel rushed.

Fast forward… now it’s late March. No proposal. And anything before September 22 is now < 6 months away.

Soooooooo, the question is, Do I mention the fact that we’re closing in on the 6-month mark for October? (And have basically missed it for September?) I know he’s excited about getting married/moving in with each other, etc in the fall (he talks about it). However, I also know that he’s not a long-term planner by nature, and probably never counted 6 months backwards to figure out when he needed to propose… boys.

I’d, personally, say something if we had already discussed a date like that. Are you sure he hasn’t already gotten the ball rolling on a ring? If it’s really expensive, he might need more time to pay on it. Either way, I’d bring it up.

I think if you have had a discussion on the fact you want to be married this year and when that would be, just say something. I wouldnt make a big deal out of it, but just point out, wow its only 6 months until September!

I picked “other”. I see nothing wrong with asking about an update on a timeline. Sit down ad say something like “I know we talked awhile ago about getting married in September/October, and that we would like to be engaged for about 6 months. It’s 6 months until the end of September. Are we still on track or should we be re-considering our timeline?” and see what he has to say. Also, is there a reason you wanted a 6 month engagement/a fall wedding? Would you be okay pushing the wedding back to have the 6 month engagement or having a shorter engagement to have the fall wedding? Those might be good things to consider so that you’re prepared with whatever his answer is… You may want to let him know too that you need some time to pick out all the vendors and get the invites done and all that, not to mention the fact that some vendors book up to a year in advance…

Thanks for the responses, everyone! I’m really intrigued by the spread in the poll.

@futuremrste: I think you make a really good point about figuring out what’s more important to me — the 6 month engagement or the fall wedding. I think, ultimately, my answer to that would be the 6 months. I would much rather have to wait longer than feel rushed.

I feel like SO may be upset by having to push the wedding later. But really, if he wants to have 100% control over when the proposal happens, I think he needs to be willing to deal with the consequences of delaying…

One other thing to consider too, that I forgot to mention, is how important certain venues/vendors might be. If you have your heart set on a specific location for your ceremony or reception or you want a certain photographer/videographer/band/DJ/caterer/cake baker etc, you might not be able to have either the 6 month engagement or the fall wedding.

I know my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have taked about a fall/winter wedding and I have my heart set on one venue that a few friends have used, and they all said the place books a year in advance, even outside of prime wedding season, so if I want my dream venue, chances of us getting married this fall/winter are slim to none. And I was kind of hoping to be married before I turn 30. I turn 29 early this fall so I have to decide: would I be okay being a 30 year old bride with the venue I want? Or should I change venues? Would I be okay with a spring/summer wedding instead? To have our reception at the venue I want we would either have to hope for a cancellation or an unexpected opening, maybe even consider getting married on a random weekday.

Ugh I lied. How bad is it that I don’t even know how old I am? For some reason I thought I’m turing 29 this fall. Which would be kinda hard, because I’m only 27. Regardless, 29 feels old to be getting married. I’m blaming it on the fact that I have a headache this am and my brain is overstuffed from studying for an exam this week…

@futuremrste: Erg, there are so many things to think about! We haven’t even really decided in which part of the country we’d like to have the wedding (since our family/friends are all over the place). It’s the fact that we haven’t even made huge decisions like that that makes me realllly anxious about the <6 months thing.

btw hahaha 🙂 I totally forget my age all the time. I’m 25, but I’m always thinking that I’m older since so many of my friends/co-workers are around 30. Hope that your exam goes/went well! 🙂