Perfectionism

I have a huge perfectionist streak. It sounds more fun than it is. I have had to deal with the face that my closet is currently not organized by color and only by type at the moment for instance. Little things.

I have had this streak since I was very small. It’s always been kind of difficult to tell though because I have a tendency to not be able to deal if it can’t be perfect. I will completely give up if I can’t make the thing perfect.

This is why my old room is currently as jammed packed full of crap like it is. I couldn’t keep it perfectly clean, so I gave up.

I recently had a conversation with my mom about how I “wasn’t competitive like her” as a kid. I definitely wasn’t Athletic like her, but I was certainly competitive. I just didn’t want to compete in things I couldn’t win. I wasn’t going to win at athletic things.

I’m still this way. I actively avoid activities that I don’t think I am going to be good at, and only seek out things I think I might have some skill with. This has closed off a lot of potential opportunities for me. I am terrified to take on different challenges for fear that I won’t be able to execute them perfectly.

Published by kimberlyf

38 year old woman living in Michigan and dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Trying to share my story and my day to day in the hope that it shines a light for someone else while also providing me another safe outlet. Two-for-one!!!!
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