Things Not To Ask/say To A Baker!

"We love clean and modern. Here's some photos (insert clean, minimalist 3-4 tier cakes here), can I get a clean and modern cake that has a stork, mailbox, some zoo animals, a really big pink bow because she loves pink bows, polka dots, pinstripes, and maybe a teddy bear or two? Oh and can you put my favorite sports team logo on the teddy bear because I want me represented somewhere in the cake. Maybe you can make a small teddy bear standing next to a stork holding a baby boy next to a mailbox only instead of letters in the mailbox maybe you can have tiny books that are all her favorite children stories? Oh and the zoo animals need to be a zebra, lion, tiger and a few monkeys. She also loves to shop so maybe you can make a few small shoes, shoe boxes and maybe some shopping bags? The bags should be from Neimans because she loves Neimans. Everything should be edible, especially chocolate. That would be so cool! I obviously have no idea about cakes but we really want clean and modern. Oh and it's only for 4 people and we need it in 3 days."

Brilliant, Scratch SF!!!

And the ever popular variation:

So the customer thinks that's too much money and they say--well half of us don't like cake anyway it's so sweet so we'll just do it for two servings and half the price...

In my experience the reason they ask that is that they are not processing the facts because they are overwhelmed in a foreign situation or they want a better deal if they have done the math or they are comparing prices as intelligently as possible.

That can certainly be true as well. I've had customers who have misstated the prices listed on our website, whether this was done intentionally or not the error somehow always works in the customer's favor. When I confirm the correct price they usually accept it without question.

I may be unusual in that I find these types of inquiries amusing, I can't recall a single instance where I would put an inquiry on a "never ask again" list. Dealing with customers was one of my favorite parts of the job, this made my wife very happy since she could focus on the baking and decorating.

Even asking about less sweet icing is not that big a deal, we've had several customers from other countries ask about this because they are used to icing that's not as sweet as the American BC we use, and we have (unadvertised) alternative recipes to meet this requirement.

...I may be unusual in that I find these types of inquiries amusing, I can't recall a single instance where I would put an inquiry on a "never ask again" list. Dealing with customers was one of my favorite parts of the job, this made my wife very happy since she could focus on the baking and decorating.

I think that's true. You fulfilled such an important and underdeveloped market that I think you would generate a very grateful clientele. Happy to get what is normally not only unavailable to them but could also make them very ill. I think you'd encounter less riff raff. I'm sure there were a few but there's more out there in the masses.

There could be good reasons to ask this question. For example, depending on the number and size of tiers it may not be possible to get exactly 100 servings. Also, some bakeries charge different per-serving prices depending on the size of the cake.

Jason, get out of here with your reasonable self. This thread is supposed to be FUN! OUT before I MOISTENyour keyboard with simple syrup!

That cake was so impressive I did some research online. It was made by Jason Reaves of Market Salamander in Virginia. Their wedding cakes start at $6 a serving, so how much do you think that huge, artistic & architecturally sound Eye of Sauron cake masterpiece cost?

sbrehill~~I'm fascinated that you actually quoted a price for that cake. I would've collapsed on the floor in fits of hysterical giggles. Welcome to the forum! [LOVED your alligator "bride" groom's cake!]

That cake was so impressive I did some research online. It was made by Jason Reaves of Market Salamander in Virginia. Their wedding cakes start at $6 a serving, so how much do you think that huge, artistic & architecturally sound Eye of Sauron cake masterpiece cost?

sbrehill~~I'm fascinated that you actually quoted a price for that cake. I would've collapsed on the floor in fits of hysterical giggles. Welcome to the forum! [LOVED your alligator "bride" groom's cake!]

Darn! I couldn't get the other link to work either. THAT is what he wanted for free from a virtual stranger he just 'friended' on facebook? #slain Oh-freaking-wow!

Whaaaat? Please tell me you made them buy you a new copy. Oh there would have been blood, if that happened to me.

I kept asking for it back and every time I got a different story about who had it in which small town (I don't own a car). I gave up in disgust and refused to ever have anything to do with the instigator ever again. She was mad at hell because she had wanted me to introduce her to a different group of MY friends and I just refused.

I replaced the Lambeth from ebay UK for a reasonable price by watching carefully. You can get them occasionally when a charity lists them without any clue to their real value.

That cake was so impressive I did some research online. It was made by Jason Reaves of Market Salamander in Virginia. Their wedding cakes start at $6 a serving, so how much do you think that huge, artistic & architecturally sound Eye of Sauron cake masterpiece cost?

sbrehill~~I'm fascinated that you actually quoted a price for that cake. I would've collapsed on the floor in fits of hysterical giggles. Welcome to the forum! [LOVED your alligator "bride" groom's cake!]

Apti~ Thank you for fixing my link. I'm a newb at this forum thing so thanks too for the welcome and praise for my groom's cake :)

I was actually excited to get to make it as I'm a huge geek and absolutely love anything LOTR, although I'm sure it wouldn't have been nearly as good as the original! I was going to give it my best shot! And lmy quote was WAY not $6 per serving!

I too get all those requests for "everything but the kitchen sink" cakes and cringe every time! We make them as per request but most of those pics don't get posted anywhere! haha! I just don't want people to think they were our designs! I have posted a few of them and always find myself explaining the "why" behind the design.

Heard multiple times when I'm having couples over for wedding cake tastings (at my house, at my kitchen table, with me sitting there staring at them...)

"So, we're looking for something really simple, and even though there are going to be 40000 guests we think about 100 servings should work, because you know, no one really eats cake these days." (um, you may not eat cake, but I know a heck of a lot of people who do, and that's fine, but you do know you're at my home, right?)

"We don't want to spend a whole lot of money on our cake because after all it's just cake, and it's really not one of those important things. You understand..." (sure, I understand, you are taking up my time to tell me that what I do doesn't matter to you. You couldn't do that in a phone call?)

"We LOVE this fondant cake, and we want to it to look EXACTLY like this picture, but we don't want to waste the money on fondant, so can you do it in buttercream?" (sure, no problem, I'll work twice as hard to make it look like fondant but with buttercream so that you can save fifty bucks...)

Each of these phrases are fine over email, or when you're telling your girlfriends about your wedding plans, but they aren't things I'd recommend saying while sitting in front of your baker, who I GUARANTEE thinks cake is a big deal!

Here's one, from a co-worker. "Hey, I know you buy a lot of ingredients and stuff and I was wondering if you wanted to just make two or three dozen cupcakes for my neice's/niece's (hate that word) little girl. She didn't really ask me, but I know she could use them because they don't have a lot of money. Doesn't have to be any particular flavor - just whatever you already have - don't spend any money. That way, everybody wins - you get to make cupcakes, because you love to so much, and no one will be out any money."

I just love the "and for the office dinner/party/get-together we'll let you bring a cake or cupcakes - whatever you want. But make sure it will feed all 52 employees and spouses and kids. And remember so-and-so is allergic to nuts, but the boss's favorite anything is peanut butter. And my little group likes chocolate so be sure there's a lot of that."

I always reply "Well, of course, I'm going to say they do. First of all, because they do taste fabulous, but you should really go check my Facebook page and read client feedback there for confirmation so you can see customers agree and it's not just me saying so."

I do take the opportunity to use it as a sales pitch to describe my cakes, but I always wonder if a baker with nasty tasting cakes would be forthcoming with that information.

This one wasn't a customer, but a relative. We were going to a family gathering for DH's family. He called to see what we could bring and was very clear about the fact that I had my hands full with orders that week so he would be taking charge of whatever food we bring. They lated texted asking him to bring a few dozen of the really detailed cake pops I had made for everyone the year before . He replied saying he will bring a few bags of chips .

I had a woman call me last week for a quote on a 12 inch rectangle cake, I asked what she wanted in regards to decorations etc and gave her a price. She ordered it and then called me back later saying she had just been talking to her sister in law who thinks she should go bigger so how about a 3 tier cake? so I tell her sure but you have to understand it will be more expensive. Her response? "Why"?

Every time I think of that "why" I laugh - seriously!

After explaining to her that not only was it more ingredients in terms of cake but the work load and decorations are also taken into account she backed down and went with the original design.

AI remember a thread on here where the couple were at a tasting and the bride to be asked if the baker ever froze cakes before hand, the baker replied after the tasting you tell me...I thought yeah how did that cake you just ate taste?

My wonderful mother in law works with several woman she has no second thoughts of calling me and inform me that she needs a birthday cake for such and such due the next day...ok let me drop everything just for you