Lattes and stupid people. What could possibly go wrong?

Crash & Burn: Dating Fail Day

He shows up at the coffee shop first, pensively waiting, then smiles when she walks in and hugs him. “Hey,” he says, “I’d love to take you out on a date.” Friends, this does not end well.

Nothing like a public crash and burn, kids.

“Good Morning” from Singin’ in the Rain is playing over the coffee shop speakers. She pulls back a little and with a nervous tremble in her voice says, “Oh, wow. Um… I moved in with your best friend last week.”

Debbie Reynolds is belting over the speakers, but I’m sure what Shunned Guy heard in his head was a needle dragging across a record. After a forever-in-an-instant pause he says, “Oh. Um… So that’s… Um, yeah. Did I tell you yet what I’m studying now?”

And still Debbie sings on.

They try to keep up the casual conversation despite the awkward tension, moving from school studies to natural disasters and biblical apocalypse. Of course, I’m always paying attention when I’m in the coffee shop, so I share what’s happing on Twitter. My friend Dave Caolo replies, “I believe you just witnessed the birth of Emo Boy II.”