The carpenter protected his five young children by building a fence to shield them from fast-moving cars along East 40th Street in Holland. He and his wife made sure household chemicals were out of reach and cabinet doors inaccessible.

But an unlikely source of danger -- a locked second-story window -- harmed Rileigh, his 22-month-old toddler, earlier this month.

Rileigh's 3-year-old brother jimmied the lock when the children went to bed. The curious girl went to the ledge, stuck her head out and plummeted 15 feet, landing on a gravel driveway and fracturing her skull. She survived and is recovering at home.

"I never thought our 3-year-old would open the window. He never showed he could do that," Gillihan said. "You think you have all the protections, but we now know better."

Child-safety experts say dangers lurk everywhere. In an increasingly safety-conscious society, a recent spate of unpredictable accidents has caused exasperation among parents and scathing criticism in Internet chat rooms and on message boards.

Press Photo/T.J. HamiltonHenry Roeters celebrates after climbing to the top of the tire pyramid with his son Henry, 2 at Belmont Elementary playground. Roeters says he tries not to be overprotective of his children.

For example:

• An Ionia mother was skewered by strangers earlier this month after she accidentally backed over her 2-year-old boy, who since has been released from the hospital.

• Last month, a Cascade Township woman's parenting was questioned when her 5-year-old daughter, Hannah Hower, was strangled by the nylon rope of a backyard swing. She died two weeks later.

• And, last week, a 2-year-old from Big Rapids drowned after wandering away from his grandfather at a park. This drew harsh commentary on message boards about why the child wasn't wearing a life jacket when he was near the strong Muskegon River current.

But is it fair for outsiders to pass judgment?

Not to Gillihan, who said he and his wife, Angela, were stung by the vitriol.

"I think there are people who want to try to say we did something wrong," Gillihan said. "But I feel like people don't know all the facts. If they knew what happened, I don't think they would judge us."

Friends of Doug and Erika Hower urged compassion and caring rather than venom and anger.

"It was really degrading," said Lyra May, a friend of the mother's. "They lived their life for their daughter and raised her to be a good person, and to see that talk was unnerving."

The verbal abuse may be a defensive tool aimed at insulating parents so they can believe nothing similar could happen to their children, an expert said.

"It may be serving as a partial escape mechanism," said Eric VanFleet, a professor from Grand Valley State University's College of Health Professions.

Guarding children from trouble has become increasingly prevalent. In fact, buffering has become a cottage industry, with businesses designed to spot dangers in your home.

Parents are trained to be hyper-aware, making certain cords are out of reach, furniture is secured to walls, electrical outlets are covered and vehicles equipped with rearview video cameras. Bike helmets are a must, kneepads a good idea and, now, state law requires kids use booster seats in cars until they are 8 years old.

Many of those safeguards, only the beginning of extensive parental checklists advocated by experts, were largely unheard of as recently as two decades ago.

The gradual cultural shift is an example of parents trying to feel less vulnerable to what Calvin College psychology department chairman R. Scott Stehouwer calls "a bolt out of the blue" accident.

"There's a belief that there's a way to fix everything and, if we take theses steps, we're protected," Stehouwer said. "The reality is that stuff happens, and it's a scary thought that we can't control everything."

The warnings are sound advice, but they can wear on parents and encourage impracticality, said Henry Roeters IV, a parent of two children younger than 3.

Roeters, 25, said he may as well have bubble-wrapped his oldest child, Henry V, a 2-year-old. With his daughter, Samantha, 1, Roeters has tried to take off the kid gloves.

"At some point, you have to realize that accidents happen no matter what we do," he said during a walk at Huff Park on Grand Rapids' Northeast Side. "Without some pain and some mistakes, how do you learn?"

Roeters, like Gillihan, takes issue with anyone who directs remarks toward the grieving parents of children involved in accidents.

"They either have never had kids or have forgotten what it's like," Roeters said.

Greg Westfall, also a parent of two, echoes Roeters thoughts. Westfall tries to prevent injury but doesn't go overboard. He says children aren't as fragile as some would lead you to believe.

"It's not like I sit at work and worry about them getting hurt," Westfall said. "You do what you can and hope for the best."

In fact, Stehouwer and VanFleet argue children should be given opportunities to learn through experience. Parents sometimes can be overly cautious and inadvertently teach children to fear activities, such as baseball and bicycling.

"Certainly, safety is important," VanFleet said. "There's no one recipe and no save-all."