Hellenic Therapy in Scotch Plains -- When couples argue

By Maria Sikoutris DiIorio
Hellenic Therapy Center
Marriage therapy focuses on the conflicts and disagreements between two people. The difference between a happily married couple or unhappy couple frequently involves the ability to discuss and resolve those differences in a positive manner that respects the interests and needs of each individual.

Happily married couples understand their own and partners emotional triggers that contribute to unnecessary anxiety, frustration and resentment in relationships. Happily married couples are characterized by respect, affection, and empathy. They pay close attention to what’s happening in each other’s life and they feel emotionally connected.

Common unhealthy, damaging relationship communications usually include interactions such as:

• Defense responses
• Emotional triggers (when you find yourself in a place of over-reaction, be on the lookout for your own emotional triggers)
• Dragging old information or experiences into a current argument
• Put-downs, name calling (criticisms)
• Hostility, or verbal or physical attacks on the other person
• Lack of communication
• Lack of intimacy (sexual problems)
• Withdrawal
• Infidelity
• Control Issues
• Anger and Temper Issues

Stress can add to marriage conflict. For example, the stress of caring for a new baby, loss of interest in sex and romance, health problems, exhaustion from working too hard, the loss of a job, death, or caring for elderly parents. Conflict/stress is inevitable in any marriage and some problems never get solved. But some couples do not get stuck in their separate positions. They keep talking with each other about the conflicts. They listen respectfully to their partner’s perspectives and they find compromises that work for both.

At Hellenic Therapy Center we are specialize in marriage, individual and family therapy and have twenty years experience with a “family systems” approach. At the first session we will see you together, though oftentimes we will also ask to see each person individually. Our model has proven to be very successful. We teach this approach at Rutgers University to clinical professionals. The goals of marriage counseling are generally to help the couple:

The Hellenic Therapy Center is located at 567 Park Ave., Scotch Plains. Hellenic has a team of professionals experienced in this area who can help strengthen your relationship. Hellenic offers day, evening and weekend hours.