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The content of each post is solely written by that contributor and only expresses the contributor's personal views. Each post does not represent the views of all the contributors or Women of Color Living Abroad as an organization. Each contributor is speaking from their own person experiences and/or perspective.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Giving It All Up…To Get So Much More…

By: Brittany S

As a Black
American, I cringe whenever I go abroad and hear other Americans and
non-Americans alike describe what it is like in America.Almost every description I have ever heard
describes mainstream America, not its subcultures.But who is at fault for this?Is it A—the non-ethnic American that reports
their culture as if it represents the (approximately) other 31.3 million of
us?Or is it B—the non-American that
takes the opinions of one or a few and solidifies their perspective of the
entire group?By all standards, that is
not a large enough sample size to be statistically significant.Answer?A, B, and C.What’s C?ME.Because I let my own assumptions about going abroad keep me from going,
I let A be the only representation for B, who might only know what they’ve been
told.When I sat and thought about my
assumptions and realized that’s all they were, I opened my heart to new
possibilities.So here is a piece of me,
from my heart to yours.Hopefully this
will help you give up your assumptions, whatever they may be. Ultimately, my decision to go abroad stemmed from the fact that the majority of my hesitations were just assumptions and nothing more. I shared a few of them here.

1—I’m
broke and should be at home working to pay off debt, not out playing in another
country.

I’m an
educator by trade, an English educator at that.
What am I doing abroad right now? Teaching English. I’m definitely not over here playing. Also, the amount of money that I make here
compared to what I would make at home is less, but so is the cost of
living. In fact, it is so much lower
that I have money left over to pay off student loans, credit card bills, send
money home for emergencies, AND travel to different COUNTRIES (not cities, but
countries). For those of you who are not
interested in education professions, there are other options. I know several people who are engineers,
auditors, etc and they are expat women of color, too. Don’t let this thought be a hindrance for you
the way it was for me. I could have been
traveling earlier when I took a break from school to try and sort some things
out.

The biggest part of this one was my HAIR. All of you Africana women out there know
EXACTLY what I’m talking about. For the
most part, the only people who understand our hair are our people. What in the world was I gonna do with my
bra-length relaxed hair in Korea? Also,
my size 10 feet do NOT fit Korean shoes.
I had 1 suitcase filled with four seasons of clothes. Not nearly enough to be fierce! I will say, however, since I’ve been abroad,
stuff that I usually wouldn’t wear it America I wear over here and feel a lot
more carefree and confident about my fashion choices, even down to my hair
length and texture. The Koreans keep
calling me a fashionista! I even cut all
my hair off a week before I came here.
My hair was longer at birth. I’m
not saying you have to

My hair now. It survived! My friend straightens her own hair.

do a big chop and mix & match a bunch of rags, but
what I am saying is being abroad makes you appreciate living in the moment, not
being seen as a moment passes you by.
People remember their encounters with me for the witty/silly things I
said, not the way I was dressed. But
don’t fret. If you really feel naked
without all your accessories and MUST be able to shop, trust me, there is
plenty of shopping available! You can
shop til you drop almost anywhere. All I
am saying is that for me, being abroad has helped me detach myself from a lot
of the materialistic things I once felt dysfunctional without. I am glad I finally forced myself to stop
thinking that way and I hope to be able to continue to develop this new outlook
wherever I am.

3—If I go
alone, what will I do? I won’t be able
to go anywhere/do anything, especially if English is not an official language
there.

Cool things happen when you go exploring.

When I lived
in America, I never went anywhere alone.
Yes I went to work/class or to run my errands, but a social event or
setting, never! If I had to arrive solo,
I was soon to meet someone else. I
finally worked up the courage to go to the mall alone, but even then I texted
or chatted with someone almost the entire time.
I was overly dependent on group interactions. Being in another country can break you out of
that. There are times that I go eat,
shopping, or take trips to different countries or cities with me, myself, and
I. (Don’t worry, even if English isn’t
an official language, there are tons of tourist-friendly resources available
that have made all my travel pretty simplistic.)

For some, it
can be out of necessity, but in many cases, I have chosen to do these things
alone because I wanted to. To me, living
abroad is a chance to have a clean slate if you so choose. A lot of my assumptions extended beyond what
is there for me in another country all the way to what is there for me in
life. I felt I was expected to be in a
societal mold that I dare not escape.
Being over here has allowed me to not only step out of the mold, but
reshape it so it is pleasing to ME first, not others. So who cares if some people think it is socially
awkward to do X,Y,Z alone? I’m learning
to think otherwise. Why let others keep
me from my happiness?

I encourage you to think about your assumptions,
and if you know in the pit of your stomach that you want to go abroad, seek out
concrete evidence on them. Don’t be your
own hindrance. You could be living your dreams! I know I am.

11 comments:

THANK YOU so much for this post! Your perspective shines a light on the excuses I've made in the past. Reminds me of a poster I recently saw on fb. The gist is that the magic happens outside of your comfort zone. I applaud you for listening to your inner voice and going for it!

Great post! I've done the big chop too (of my sisterlocks) in anticipation of leaving. I feel like research has had its good and bad sides b/c for me yes, you can find out information on a particular country, but it will also sometimes lead you to have certain negative assumptions or add fuel to your existing ones... so I really enjoyed reading this post.

Thank you for your post. I've been wanting to go overseas since I was 25. I've allowed others to talk me out of it. Now I'm 33 and I'm applying to go to Thailand later on this year. I'm looking forward to the experience!

Wonderful post Soror, it definitely makes one challenge their own excuses for not traveling. Would you mind sharing links if the organization you're with and any others that you know are legit? Thank you So much for this post!

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About Me

This blog is part of Expat Women of Color website (www.expatwomenofcolor.com). It was designed to educate and provide resources for women of color who desire or are currently living abroad. This blog was created to help promote information about how to travel in different countries, inexpensive ways to travel, lessons learned while traveling, and resources that can help other women who desire to take the leap and move abroad in the future. Welcome ABROAD!