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Heather Wastie writes poems, songs & monologues. This blog began with her oral history project with people who worked in the carpet industry in Kidderminster. Her carpet industry related pieces appear on this blog and in her book http://blackpear.net/authors-and-books/heather-wastie/

A Dummies’ Guide to Starting a War, a nameless hand puppet, mother’s advice, song references, borders and disputes over a carpet, poetry which rhymes or doesn’t, plus music and blowing up balloons …. entertaining and interactive; 30 minutes of answers.

Astronomical summer begins
on June the twentieth
or is it the twenty first?
I need to know!

Actual summer begins when it feels like it,
ends when it ends
and some years, well,
it just doesn’t …
feel like it.

Both Astronomical and Meteorological seasons
contain other seasons:

The silly season, for example
which occurs when other seasons don’t.

Or the football season which,
regardless of the calendar in use,
ends on the last day of one season
and begins on the first day of the next.

Astronomical seasons
are about 3 weeks behind
meteorological seasons,
so weather forecasters are campaigning
to have the astronomical seasons
brought forward by 3 weeks
to make their forecasts more accurate.

Actually I was a bit astronomical with the truth there.
But I hope to promote the meteoric rise
of meteorological seasons
as a subject for casual conversation
in preference to merely talking about the weather.

At a recent Alzheimer’s Society cafe performance in Coventry we talked about drinks and collected thoughts. Here are the 2 poems I wrote for them afterwards.

I oughta drink water

I oughta drank water,
and fresh lemonade
is very refreshing,
but it has been said
that Guinness is good for you,
whisky is healthy
and wine helps the heart
but you have to be wealthy
to keep to the target
two litres a day
to stop dehydration,
well, that’s what they say.

I’m partial to lager,
I’d settle for shandy
or beer with some oomph
though it can make me frisky
and talking of whisky
there’s Chivas Regal,
it worked for James Bond
in Casino Royale,
but I oughta drink water,
the experts advise
if I want to be sober
and wealthy and wise.

The vicar smiles and tilts his cup
and watches his doyley soaking up
the liquid rising in his saucer.
“Dear, dear vicar, is something wrong, sir?”

“Not at all!” the vicar winks
then, waiting till his doyley sinks,
he slurps the beverage from his saucer.
“Such ignorance I can’t ignore, sir!
I’ve never seen the like before, sir!
And I won’t be pouring any more, sir!!”

Earlier this year I was commissioned by the Canal & River Trust to write a new piece of poetry using some of their oral history recordings. I created an audio piece and I’m now about to give the first live performances. See below!

Idle Women and Judies by Heather Wastie is based on the wartime memories of 3 women: Emma Smith, Nancy Ridgway and Daphne March (Daffy). It broadly tells story of women who took over the working boats while the men went off to war, from recruitment to redundancy, using their own descriptions, condensed into the form of a poem.

I have been involved with canals for most of my life, cruising on ex-coal-carrying narrow boat Laurel and, in the early days, getting involved in campaigns to save them from extinction with my father, Alan T Smith, who received an MBE for his services to the inland waterways. As a writer and musician, I particularly enjoy sharing other people’s stories through my writing and I am grateful to the Canal & River Trust for commissioning me to undertake this fascinating and rewarding project.

My Alzheimer’s Army song was aired on BBC Hereford & Worcester last Friday and I had a chat with presenter Tammy Gooding. You never know what’s going to happen in a radio interview. We had planned to record this one in advance but it ended up being live and I thought it went really well. You can hear it by following the link, but be quick as I think there’s only a day or so left to listen. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p025b7hg

I also did an interview for The Milk Bar which is a podcast, which means you should be able to listen to it any time. Again, I thought it went well. People are interested in finding out more about dementia, and that’s what why I recorded the CD; as well as entertaining, the songs inform, using words and thoughts from people I’ve met at Alzheimer’s Society memory cafes. The song is played here too http://themilkbar.podbean.com/e/jason-and-zoe-in-the-milk-bar-episode-272/

Black Country NightOn Saturday night I’ll be performing as Black Country Pat at the Black Country Living Museum. Pat is a long-suffering Black Country wench who hates poetry but writes it any road, whose voice is like a glede under a door and who gets really narked if you call her a Brummie. Here she is plus a link for further info:

Black Country Pat (photo by Geoff Cox) performing in Worcester High Street for Clik Clik Collective Worcester Music Festival 2014