Since it's that time of year again, I'm gonna make a comment in this, just to say how much of a meme EA is. It seems that their goal was to set the bar as low as possible. Also the streamer shilling made me giggle, along with the CREATOR CAVE

Also I made this edit once already, but it didn't save so fml/eThis is the microsoft conference, they like 4k but I didn't start watching at the start

-LOOK! CONSOLE PORTS FOR PC GAMES!-4K MINECRAFT! BLOCKS NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD! PLZ BE HYPED-Darksouls 4 : Weeb Souls (code vein)-More cockney orcs in Mordor Mind Invader 2, the nemesis system still looks neat-The last night's aesthetic looks cool, I like it- Drinking game : every time you see 4k take a shot. Good luck with alcohol poisoning-Obligatory Ass's Creed game, this time with l00t system and black men-Sizzle reel-Half of these games in the sizzle reel are already on pc-free 4k updates for games for some reason-Fuck I can't remember half the shit I typed im mad-Oh right that cringey announcement for an arena game that was a shoutcast-Oh and Terry Crews was yelling and laughing at some point-Xbox one AXE edition

I guess most microsoft games are going to be exclusive to windows as well as xbox from now on. I'm going to try and make more posts like this for the other conferences, probably in 4k comic sans.

/e 2.0

BETHESDA CONFERENCE-Obligatory eso shit, something about a bear-PAID MODS FOR CONSOLE AGAIN LOL THESE FUCKSTICKS-card game or sumthin-skyrim's coming to nintendork console!!!! it has motion controls lol -something for dishonored -quake players = THE ORIGINAL PRO MLG GAMERS-what is this cringey e-sports shit, and why is there a black and white filter over it-DUAL WIELD GUNS -there's evil within my ass 2-wolfenstein 2? after a live action sequence that was actualy neat for the alternate timeline there is a creature with a cat's head and monkey's body switching through channels on a tv-I SEE KKK MEMBERS, so american wolfenstein?-like 5 minutes now and still no gameplay shown-speak of the devil, the first gameplay shown is riding a robo-puppy with a flamethrower mouth-IT'S OVAR!!

FUCK IT DELETED MY SHIT AGAIN I NEED TO DO THIS BS IN A NOTEPAD FUCK TIME TO REMEMBER SHIT AGAINUbisoft Conference-Rabids x Mario Collaboration!!!! for some reason!!1-Miyamoto shills for ubisoft!!-Miyamoto just looks like a happy man, he's dancing a little while his translator talks.-The gameplay looks like xcom, with some neat options for movement.-Ass's creed again. LOL THEY SHOWED SOME GAMEPLAY, BUT RATHER THAN USING DIRECT VIDEO CAPTURE, THEY FUCKING RECORD A MONITOR SCREEN OVER THE SHOULDER OF SOMEONE IM DYING-South park rpg!!! lol butthole-Pirate game!!!!! looks like a multiplayer battle thing, though it can be singleplayer(?). Gameplay mechanics doesn't look in-depth enough to be all naval combat, no dynamic damage to the ships, it just looks like there are healthbars. -Cringey Just Dance presentation with real dancers. K-pop too-Another south park game!!!! It's Collectable Card Game for Phones 69 : South Park Edition-A space combat game that uses real life toys to customize your ship! More shekels for ubisoft wew!!!!!!!-skiing-Farcry 5! The only thing I am interested in this game is that Americans are the antagonists, and the setting of hick america isn't used that much. Gun-toting cult hicks basically. Dog friend, he brings guns from dead dudes. I might buy it, but it is farcry :x-Beyond good and evil 2, Never heard of the original but the setting in the cinematic has me interested.

AND IT'S OVAR!!!! Is it bad that the only gameplay that caught my attention was the rabbids game?

Sony Conference-Live music!-They improperly piped their sound for the games!! we hear what comes out of the speakers on the stream lol-great start-oh the game was an uncharted dlc btw-second game still has fucked audio, and is also dlc!!!-3rd game, audio is still fucked! what I was watching on youtube switched audio sources, and sony's stream was the only one that was working lol-3rd game has QTE's, still don't know what game it is tho-oh it's days gone-cringey people zoomed in on in the crowd-lawl people are trying to film this on their phones-Monster Hunter World!-wow sony has pyrotechnics for this they really went all out on the budget-Shadow of the Colossus remaster-marvel vs capcom, ew the eyes don't animate at all and it looks so bad, the animations in general look bad-Cowwadoody wwII-HEY! LOOK! MORE SKYRIM, THIS TIME IN VR, BECAUSE REASONS-oh this is a whole VR segment....time to skip a little bit-God of War : Daddy Edition-Detroit, you're choices count but I hope you like QTEs-spoodermang, even more QTEs

It's OVAR!!!So I've been considering a ps4 since there are atleast 10 exclusives i've wanted to play, but there really isn't anthing to look forward to other than the SOTC remaster, and there is already one on ps3, eh I'll probably still get a ps4 for crash anyway

So ayyy lmao genocide simulator 2 has an expansion coming that seems pretty weird, but could be good. I'm hoping it fixes some of the problems that the game has in regards to stealth being broken as fuck.

Medieval snowboard simulator the sequel was also shown off again, but no release date still. I just want to kill rhodoks wtf.

AYO MY NIGGAS ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, AND I'M BACK HERE TO DO SHITTY SUMMARIES AND POST MY SHITTY FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON WHAT I SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I drank I'd take a shot for every battle royale game/gamemode anonunced.

ELECTRONIC ARSE!!!!! I predict FIFA : Battle Royale-BATTLEFRONT V BATTLEROYALE!!! IT HAPPENED WAY FASTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD, PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE ARE BOOING. At the end of the bf trailer someone just yelled juice(jews?)-SPORTS GAME-mobile phone gaming FROM THE CLOUD.....some origin premium shit, its like that humble trove thing but EA.-this dude in the background in the crowd looks so sad I feel bad for him-conjoined yarn twins the platformer, looks neat if you have friends-more sportsball-WAIT DID THEY JUST SAY NEW MOBILE STRATEGY GAME, HOO BOY IT'S A STARCRAFT KILLER-WAIT ARE THESE SUPPOSED PRO PHONE GAMERS?!-eeeeeeeeee I hate this, they are trying to hype it up but its so slow and its a command and conquer game what the fuck

and its over, and it's ea, nothing they showed was really interesting to me.

SHOULD I CONTINUE THIS FOR THE OTHER CONFERENCES? I PROBABLY WILL UNLESS SOMEONE TELLS ME TO FUCK OFF

lol when I go look at people i'm following on twitch there are about 20 people streaming themselves watching the conference lol

-Halo Infinite POWERED BY SLIPSPACE, I BET IT'S A FUCKIN BATTLE ROYALE! or, like, open world-GAMERS SPEECH, ABOUT GAMERS-Ori and the will of the wisp, never played the other game lol, I should eventually it looks like I'd like it-ghost of sashimi? WAIT NO ITS FROM SOFT the dudes arm is that one boner shown in that teaser. It's dark souls of japan, Shadows Die Twice, looks like they added some new movement mechanics from what was shown-TODD HOWARD IS ON THE STAGE to show off fallout : Online. "4 times the size of fallout 4" so 4 times the amount of open space with little going on. It looks like rust but in the fallout setting tbh.-back to back to back with trailers-Sqenix, life is strange game, looks dumb-TERRY CREWS STARS IN CRACKDOWN 3-metro exodus-camera pans to phil spencer awkwardly standing in the audience, everyone gasps and pulls out their recording phones-kingdumb harts, lol there isn't any fucking game audio halfway through, there is grunting though-car drives by a goat-indie studios or some shit-We Happy Few -EXCLUSIVE, wait its FUCKING PUBG-WORLD PREMIER, wait its ANIME, Tales of Vesperia....it's a remaster.....not a premier????? -ANOTHER WORLD PREMIER!!! and it's the division 2.....-NO NOT GAMER TALK AGAIN DAMNIT I REPRESS THE MEMORY OF THE LAST TIME THEY DID THIS PRESENTATION. -GAMER DOWN-"It's tomb raider, I can tell by the booty"-LOL skateboarding game and 8 people start yelling at once and discord distorts it. Then it's not skate 4 and everyone is pissed-WORLD PREMIER, EDF EDF EDF! I like edf memes, but it's actualy DMC5, featuring SKATEBOARDING-CONSOLE LUNCH EXULTATION, it's a furry, "IT'S THE PEDIALYTE OF GAMES"-Sprinting for the end, ANOTHA WORLD PREMIER?! "Naruto? One Piece? DRAGON BALL Z? THIS IS TOO MUCH ANIME" oh my god it's anime fighting game lol, the models look like playdough, the DBZ ones look like shit after fighterZ. Name is Jumpforce, should be called WeebWiper-Dying Light2, looks like the dev is walking down to get into a wrestling ring. He's taken a power stance, like a true alpha. -EXCLUSIVE WORLD PREMIER, it's BATTLETOADS THE CROWD GOES WILD, they list features but show absolutely nothing about the game lol.-WORLD PREMIER, gears of WHAT THE FUCK FUNKO POP MOBILE GAME WHAT THERE IS A DEV COMING OUT FOR THIS. THERE IS GEARS OF XCOM TOO -oh there is a 3rd game one WHY DID THEY LEAD WITH FUNKO POP, but yeah gears 5-outro is wow games, "WE TAKE GAMING BACK"-WAIT AT THE END, THE CONFERENCE IS HACKED, RED COMMAND LINES, after that just WORLD PREMIER, cyber punk and cyber goth gfs, THE GAMES NAME IS CYBERPUNK77-oh shit is there more? Nope just a sizzle real, looks like that was the end.

And it's over, Shadows Die Twice is the only game i'm really excited about, though the cyberpunk game could be neat, this year was way better than last year, I don't even think they announced a 4k update for a game this year.

/e

TIME FOR BUTTHESDA YO, THIS TRAIN IS STILL GOING, NO ONES TOLD ME TO FUCK OFF JUST YET!!

-ANDREW W K PERFORMING LIVE, the backup singers mics don't sound right, everyone just has their phones out recording, crowd is very unenthusiastic, they just keep zooming in on people with their phones out or who don't look like they give a shit-RAGE 2, murder boomerang-DOOM 2018 -more stuff that they already announced at other times