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I Feel No Loyalty

Its been four days since the election results came in and I’m finding myself more depressed. Each day I feel more depressed. The Republican party has gone nuts since the Tea Party and the Evangelical’s took over, but this is not just about my party losing. It’s the man. This video is of the man who will be President mocking a reporter with a chronic disability. The reporter he’s mocking is Serge F. Kovaleski, who has a congenital condition that involves contraction of the joints in his body

This act alone should have ended his political career, yet it’s one year later and he’s heading to the White House. It sickens me.

I’ve loved my country, yet I find myself becoming more and more disloyal and I don’t give a damn. I just want out of here. I don’t want to abandon my country, I feel my country has abandoned me. I owe it nothing.

I’m still being told to stay and fight, but I just don’t have it in me. I’ve been fighting one thing or another my whole life. I’m exhausted.I don’t think I care enough to fight.

Maurice and I are still considering moving. We’ve received a generous offer to live with a friend for free at his home in Altea Alicante Spain. I’ve never heard of it, but this place looks beautiful.

If we do leave, which is unsure, we may end up there permanently. Then again, maybe not. Maybe it would be just for a few months, though I don’t think that’s enough.

My words may not be as profound as I’ve read on many blogs this week, but I’m not trying to write a thesis. I make no apologies for just feeling the need to share what’s going on in my head.

I’m angry, I’m exhausted, I’m afraid, and I’m bitter. I don’t know when these feelings will go away, but I don’t think they ever will if I remain here.

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35 comments for “I Feel No Loyalty”

Hey friend, I’m trying to get caught up with all my friends’ blog posts I missed the past week.
I’m still sick, I’m still chugging Pepto Bismol, and hardly able to eat. Since I love feeling healthy and I love food & my Lucy walks, I’m feeling very down. 🙁 Sending you hugs and love, and I’ll write more pertinent comments on your more recent posts! Xo

Alicante, Spain is a very beautiful place. I have friends who own a vacation home there. They actually invited me to join them there in October but I already had other commitments that prevented me from going. If you decide to go there, I will definitely visit!!! Good luck in yourd decision.

No that you need my opinion, but here goes, free of charge.
You cannot change the world if you don’t take care of yourself first. If self-care means preserving your relationship in a space where there is less hatred and fear-do so! If you feel that you just need a moment to collect yourself before rallying-do that too! And more importantly, make those decisions because they are best for you, not because you are persuaded otherwise. I have no doubt that you’ll continue to put great blogs out, and that you’ll continue to make the growth I’ve seen-location is just an arbitrary category. I hope you find peace about your decisions!

I’m so sorry Bradley. To feel abandoned is a desolate state of being. No matter if or where you settle in the world, you will still have your book to write. I don’t know what Maurice’s employment is, but you can work as an author anywhere in the world. My heart goes out to you

Bradley

November 12, 2016 at 21:48

Sadly I haven’t made a living as a writer which limits where we can go. Most countries require that you earn a certain amount of money to immigrate to their country so you don’t immediately need welfare upon moving in. It’s understandable, but with me on disability there’s not many countries that will take us. Maurice is an IT technician, but it’d be hard for him to find a job until we’re there…wherever there is.

I understand how you are feeling. You have to make the decision that best supports your life and your health. I would never tell someone else what to do–go or stay–only that I wish for them the best life they can have. Doing whatever needs to be done to have that best life is your decision. HUGS.

Bradley

November 12, 2016 at 21:25

Thank you. I think, if possible, getting away will be the best thing for me, whether it’s a few months or a few years.