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Just give me what I asked for and shut the fuck up.

Not so recently, the state I live in legalized marijuana for medicinal use. However, it was only relatively recently that the law has finally taken affect and people can now start getting their cards. Including me.

Since my state consists of a bunch of cocksuckers, the list you can be approved for marijuana is shockingly small comparatively, but one of the things that is pre-approved is glaucoma, which I have. So, at my last visit with my ophthalmologist (a really amazing guy), he was gushing on how much my pressure has gone down. Originally I had been taking an eye drop once per day, but he changed the prescription because that really wasn’t cutting it, and I started taking a different eye drop (which cost $65 for like a fucking ounce — that’s WITH insurance) twice a day; or, rather, was supposed to. I do take it once a day (in the mornings) religiously, but I don’t really want to take my contacts out to do the second dose in the evening because…well because it’s an inconvenience. However, to sleep at night, I may or may not use a product God put on this earth for me and you. All of this I told the doc, to which he replied, “Whatever you’re doing, keep at it. This is really great.” For the record, the pressure in my right eye was a 26 before I started treatment. At last check, it’s a 16. That’s insane (normal eye pressure is 12-22; 12-22 what, I’m not sure).

After my exam, I went to pay my bill and the employee taking my card notified me that their printer wasn’t working so they’d have to mail me my receipt. I told her that was fine, and I would like my medical history mailed to me as well.

“Why?” she asked. This didn’t bother me. Normally I take this as they fear you may be leaving and perhaps they can fix what may be wrong.

“Because I’m applying for my medical marijuana card, and I need to show that I have glaucoma in order to get it.” Boom! Question asked and answered. Nothing more to say. But no, the bitch had to get judgy.

“The doctor would rather you use traditional treatments for the glaucoma. He won’t sign off on this.”

See, there are numerous things wrong with this dumb ass statement. First, she had no idea what transpired between the doctor and me. She wasn’t in the room. Second, it’s not his decision on whether or not I get it. Another doctor makes that decision. What my doctor thinks or feels is irrelevant. Don’t get me wrong, while that might look like I have a problem with my ophthalmologist, I don’t. He really is amazing, and I wouldn’t go see anyone else unless I was forced to. He’s done a tremendous amount to make sure I will have vision until my 80s. Hes a great guy. It’s this dumb cashier who has no fucking clue on anything that annoyed me.

I did a silent 10 count in my head. The way this office is set up is the other patients are RIGHT THERE next to the cashier, so I wasn’t going to make a scene. So I simply said, “I will need a copy of my medical files mailed to me with the receipt, please.”

“But…”

“Do I need to pay for them? I understand if I do.”

“No, but…”

“Okay, thanks. Just go ahead an mail them.”

She gave me some stink eye, but she can go fuck herself. The more I think about this, the more it annoys me because she obviously has an issue with marijuana, medicinal or not, and it no doubt stems from the old wives’ tales that people are still clinging too without doing any research. And that is infuriating since it’s because of people like her why it’s so fucking hard (and expensive) to get the necessary treatment I need for not just my glaucoma but also my anxiety and insomnia. And I’m not even that bad off.

Yes, marijuana also feels good when you do it. I don’t deny that. But so does wine. So does beer. But last time I checked, alcohol doesn’t help with your anxiety, glaucoma, PTSD, insomnia or a host of other issues.

I have a friend that lives in Oregon, where it’s legal for recreational use. He’s been sharing prices lately for grams. He literally…LITERALLY paid $40 for a gram of brand that goes for ~$340 here. JFC. I blame the feds. Fucking idiots.

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