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What should I do?

I just found out that i'm pregnant AGAIN and just moved up here with my husband in June. We were apart for about a year because of boot camp and school. We have a pair of twin girls already who are about to be 9 months. We are visiting home for the holidays and my husband just asked me if I want to stay here. I've stayed with his mother (who lives in Mississippi) when I was pregnant with the girls and had a job and all that and my mother lives in Alabama (which is not very far, about 45 mins. away) but I want to stay with him and have our family together. He thinks it would be good for me to stay down here with his mother and work while she watches the girls so we can have some money saved up and have a FREE babysitter. I don't know what to do because yeah I want to be with him but I also would like to work and save up money for this unexpected child and be able to be close to my family. What to do? What to do?

No one can tell you what to do. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. This is a tough town to find work in and daycare can be very expensive when you do find work. If you are living away from him you also get separation pay which is not much but it is an extra income. If you are at home then you also have the extra support of your family. I personally can not imagine being away from my DH any longer than I had to but I can see the pros of you living back home until your new baby is born also.

First off congrats on your pregnancy! It may have been unexpected, but they are a blessing none the less. If you want to stay in NC and work you can. I know that I wouldn't want to be away from my husband all the time either having to raise our 3 on my own without him, if I didn't have to. You can get help through DSS for childcare and you would only have to pay a portion each month. It can definately help you save up some money and childcare for 3 is very expensive. You may be able to find a good friend that will watch your kids for you for a really cheap price as well.

You have to decide what you feel is best for your family and talk it through with your husband. My kids are all very close in age and it can be stressful at times, but you can make it work. I would love to be close to my family at times for help every now and then, but I don't really have an option if I want to be with my husband. Plus, I feel that it's just too much for my family to have to try to help house me and my 3 kids when I have a perfectly good home to live in with my own little family. It's way too crowded when we go to visit for short periods of time. I couldn't imagine living with my family now...haha! Good luck!

That's a tough one, on one hand I would stay here and find a night time job like Wal Mart, starbucks or waitressing, even if you have to put the kids in childcare on base for an hour or two until your hubby goes to pick them up. But then again, 45 minutes away isn't very long and you could see him pretty much every weekend so it would kinda be like a deployment. I'm guessing if you moved he would go to live in the baracks or something? That would sure save some money. But the first thing I would do is to start cutting back and cancel the cable and internet. Cut back wherever you can, live on chicken as your main source of protein for a while (I've learned MANY different recipes for chicken!) and take up a night time job. You have to live like no one else, so you can live like no one else!

No one can tell you what to do. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. This is a tough town to find work in and daycare can be very expensive when you do find work. If you are living away from him you also get separation pay which is not much but it is an extra income. If you are at home then you also have the extra support of your family. I personally can not imagine being away from my DH any longer than I had to but I can see the pros of you living back home until your new baby is born also.

Sorry, but that is not true. The only way you rate seperation pay is if the Marine is on unaccompanied orders or deployment. They would be seperated by choice, and therefore not be eligible for FSA (family seperation allowance)

I agree with the fact that no one can tell you what to do. You need to do what is best for your family and your situation. I am about to be seperated from my husband for about 2 years because he just got orders to Pendlton and we as a family decided that it would be best if the kids and I stayed here. We just bought a house, and my parents just moved down here and my father has cancer, so I need to stay here and be with them. Plus, my husband will be deployed for a year while he is there, so there was no point in us going. But, the point is that no one can tell you what is the right decision, that is up to you guys and what is best for you. You could try it either way, and if it doesn't work out, switch.

By the way...I also have twins, so I know how difficult it is and how nice it is to have family around to help out!

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