Yes, It's True, Introverts Are Less Happy Than Extroverts

Just recently I purchased the book, The Handbook of Solitude. I have not finished reading through it, but there was a great chapter on Introversion, Solitude, and Subjective Well-Being by John Zelenski, Karin Sobocko, and Deanna Whelan (Carleton University). I use the word, "great" but I really mean, it was an eye-opening experience. The basic premise of the chapter is that introverts are, on average, less happy than extroverts. I was, as I'm sure most of the readers on here, a little resistant to the idea that introverts could be any less happy than extroverts. The authors sought to deal with the popular critiques of this rather robust finding from scientific research. The critiques quoted from the chapter are:

All of the critiques however, do not hold up to empirical findings (for a more detailed explanation, of course, read the chapter). The fact of the matter is, when you go through all of the critiques, at the end of the day, extroverts, on average, are happier than introverts. That is not to say that introverts are sadly, lonely people. On the contrary, the authors suggest that the average difference in happiness is small but significant. But there is a difference. They are also not suggesting that introverts are somehow lesser than extroverts either. Indeed they briefly highlight some of the strengths of being introverted, such as being able to regulate their behavior better and being better at problem-solving.

However, when it comes to happiness, extroverts do better. This is true even when they are alone, extroverts are happier alone than introverts. Other very important finding, whether introverted or extroverted, both tend to enjoy socializing more than spending time alone. These findings go against the stereotype that introverts are happiest when they are alone. The fact of the matter is that meeting and spending time with others is a happier state than being alone. Not only that, but also when introverts act extroverted, they also report being happier as well. And contrary to what seems like common knowledge, introverts do not report needing to provide greater effort, decreases in the ability to self-regulate, or experience simultaneous negative emotions. On the contrary, they report feeling more authentic when acting extroverted in the moment, but report feeling less authentic in hindsight.

For those not intimately involved in the research of introversion/extroversion, I am sure, like myself, these findings were eye-opening. To some degree, the findings do make sense, we all have a fundamental need to belong and connect with others. It is very much like the need to eat or sleep. Certainly depending upon our body type, metabolism, etc., all of us eat different amounts of food, but whether we eat a little or a lot, eating food is a pleasurable activity. Similarly, all of us need to connect - we may need to do it at different amounts, but we do need to do it. And connecting is a pleasurable activity. Not only that, but having a healthy level of social interaction makes us, in general, happier.

I am not arguing that introverts should become extroverts. I am pretty sure there are a huge number of introverts who have heard over and over again, how quiet they are and how they need to come out of their shell more. I believe that the majority of introverts are happy and content with their social lives. I also believe that a lot of introverts are sick and tired of hearing that they need to get out more and meet other people. The research clearly shows though that if introverts acted a bit more extroverted, they would be happier and less lonely. The question that burns in a lot of introverts' minds is, how do we do that exactly?

and this article seems to be one more extrovert's take on the differences, poorly researched, defensively upbeat, and glibly written. Why would we need to change? How about just accepting people as they are? What a radical concept.

As an introvert, I depend on extroverts to help me out a little, approach me, bring me into the fray, etc.

Unfortunately, I think few extroverts are willing to wait for my social warm up period or they see my standoffish-ness as a potential rejection and then label me a "snob" (which as often happened).

As for women...well, it seems as if they outright despise a man for being an introvert (for making them have to extend an effort) or they pity his shyness.

We assume extroverts are confident to approach anyone, but I believe that's not true. I think they are a little afraid to approach someone who might look a little unapproachable.

That's too bad, I don't mind being "rescued by an extrovert when I'm in a wallflower situation. I can be a strong loyal friend, or even a faithful passionate lover, to someone that takes a chance on me.

As for introverts as potential love interests: We might like to be inward and shy of crowds, but then, so do tigers.

I agree. Some of the most profound and joyful moments I have had were spent alone, meditating,hiking, practicing yoga, or painting, etc. I have also found much joy and happiness in the company of others but feel both solitude and company are equally valuable in achieving happiness.

My bf is an extremely social person but I'm not convinced his friendships are any greater or more deeply connected in nature than mine.

We would come out of our shells more, if extroverts would shut up & occasionally let us speak.
I've had extroverts talk right over me when I try to say something—and they stil have nerve to complain that I don't talk enough. They can go frell themselves.

I think this is a poorly researched book and article as well. if extroverts and reporters would shut up and not be judgemental about introverts, then there would not be a problem. I am an introvert and I am happy being an introvert. once I get to know a person I come out of my shell and become more extroverted. but generally speaking, I am introverted and am happy being introverted.

Hi Kristen, I would really recommend reading the chapter and getting more understanding behind how they addressed critiques concerning extroversion/introversion and happiness measurements. I couldn't do it justice on here. But they did go through specifically ideas behind how happiness is defined and the possible overlaps in measurement between extroversion and happiness.

Hello, i don't think you will regret at all reading the book "Quiet : THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN'T STOP TALKING". Please read and ponder. Another thing, why so much emphasis on "scientific" research findings in a psychology website ? Psychology is not a science. And findings can vary. Also, because majority of population is extroverted, there is every chance of bias in interpreting outcomes.

As an introvert, this is the only article on this website I have read about introversion that rings completely true to me.

However, the term introversion covers a whole range of people and personalities. Some introverts (like me) are primarily social (that is, they feel that connection with others is what really matters, deep down) despite being introverted, and these are the people who are less happy than extroverts....longing for more connection and intimacy, but not sure how to go about it. I know I would be happier if I were extroverted.

Other introverts are truly happy alone, and feel that their "center" of life is their job or art or science or writing or something like that.

I am happy for this article though because it's a frank statement about socially-oriented introverts that seems to be missing from the discussion. The author just needs to address the broad spectrum of introversion... and should also check their grammar for run-on sentences :)

I think there is a kernel of truth to the article. There are a number of reasons why it might be so, but whatever the case extroverts are generally happier than introverts. However, it is also true that introverts are generally more talented than extroverts. Music, literature, the arts, science etc introverts have an advantage (something many will go to great lengths to deny).

I just wonder if it is the definition of the word "happiness" that is the hang-up...... After all, quiet enjoyment and contentment are not exactly how an extrovert might experience happiness, or how the dictionary would describe it..... Maybe happiness is a subjective term.

It reminds me of classified ads . . . recruiting a housemate, for example, saying they seek someone who “likes to have fun.” I always wonder: Does someone out there not like to have fun? The only question is: What, to an individual, qualifies as “fun”? If they mean sitting around drinking beers, exchanging drunken half-truths, and depositing said beers into a porcelain bowl at evening’s end; then, no, I don’t like having “fun.” At any rate, I figure their search for a fun housemate probably doesn’t encompass my concept of fun. So I bypass their ad, continue my search, and leave them to do likewise.

I don't know, I'm an introvert and I get bored when I'm around most people because I don't like small talk, I love specific subjects.
I tend to have very close friends who are introverts, honest people, and I prefer to deal with them, they're enough for me.
I also have my art which I develop in the time I take for myself.
Growing up is harder as an introvert, but as soon as you discover your passions and how to live, maybe we can be life-long happy and that's enough for me.

Should I turn into a chameleon whenever there is an extroverted group or person and act like them even though I don't feel like it? I have "acted extroverted" before and ended up feeling so miserable, fake and hypocritical. Night comes and I;m in bed having a heated argument with myself, and beating myself up for not being true to myself and authentic.

I have an extroverted friend that sometimes I wish I was like her, she is so outgoing and fun. Unfortunately I was born this way. I enjoy being around her when we get together. But after a day full of too much excitement, I get home feeling happy because I had a chance to get out of my own shell for a minute, but happier that I'm in my own natural environment alone.

These outings don't happen too frequently, but when they do, I make sure to have the best time and enjoy the moment. I feel the fear, but do it anyways.

There have been numerous studies that show extroverts are dependent on other people or events to feel optimal. Their systems aren't as sensitive so they need more from the world. An introvert doesn't need as much stimulation since they are already getting it at lower levels. That sounds like a recipe for happiness to me.

I supppose Im an introvert, though I am not shy at all. If I need to speak or socialize I do it fairly well. I have a few friends and yes I love to socialize with them. Nevertheless, as any introvert, I prefer to limit the amount of time with people. So yes, I am very happy with people and maybe happier than when I am alone in a joyful sense, but the limit to feel happier with people is probably greater than it is for extroverts. After a while I get tired of it and I need to be by myself where I feel peaceful (which I suppose is not considered happiness in this study). If the study asked me about happiness in terms of joy of course it would be with my friends. But that shuts out all the peaceful times that I have with myself and the fact that the joy is not stable either when I am with people. If the study just asked people when they felt happpier in terms of joy of course it concluded that since both groups mentioned 'being with people' the only conclusion should be that extroverts are happier, but I would say that that is a very skewed conclusion and not a very scientific one.

Are extraverts and introverts prone to different types of emotional psychological conditions for example which type, if any, is more prone to anorexia. Which type is more likely to attempt and or to commit suicide?

Is it possible that extraverts who are more concerned with how they appear to others put on a happy face (which may convince others and themselves that they are happier?) Are extraverts more likely to pretend to be happy - knowing that being happy is a characteristic which will make them more likeable?

Are introverts who introspect more likely to tell the truth - because they are telling it to themselves

When I look more into the book you are recommending, I see it's positively oriented toward Solitude. So, I'm not sure why this post emphasizes what introversion -which is associated with solitude - is lacking.

For example, here is an Editorial Review listed right on the product page:

"Solitude has had a bad name in our society, and in our psychology: it is often equated with isolation, loneliness, shyness, and social awkwardness. The Handbook discusses these, but abundantly treats the other side solitude that fosters insight, connection, creativity, introspection, healing, and enlightenment. This is a badly needed and broadly focused antidote for the negative approach, and its group of expert contributors provides a fuller understanding of a state people often experience, and sometimes need.
—Peter Suedfeld, Dean Emeritus of Graduate Studies and Professor Emeritus of Psychology, The University of British Columbia

Do introverts tend to over-control, i.e. internalize as opposed to over-control, i.e. externalise emotions, resulting in introverts slow release making them appear solemn as opposed to extraverts quick release making them seem exuberant, i.e. releasing frustration there an then and moving on