5 things that prove the future is here and it’s f**king terrifying

We’re a pretty progressive bunch here at Idealog. If it’s new, clever tech, we’re pretty much down with it and are happy to cover it here. But just because we love technology, doesn’t mean we’re quite ready to sign off on anything.

So in the interests of journalistic balance we thought it was high time to highlight some of the technological advancements we’re not down with, some of the stuff we think is just a bad idea and a few of the things we're currently finding downright creepy.

Things such as:

Eyeborg

When filmmaker Rob Spence lost an eye (while shooting a pile of cow dung with a BB gun, as you do) he decided to take those BB-pocked lemons and make a kind of ocular lemonade from them, beginning work on an in-eye camera protoype. The kinks are still being ironed out (unexplained fires are currently an issue), but one thing’s for certain: Ewww!

Simply put, Vinge says that the creation of superhuman artificial intelligence will mark the point at which “the human era will be ended”.

Yikes.

Now Vinge likes to pen the odd science fiction story when he gets the chance, but if you think this is all just a bit of geeky speculation, think again. Many futurists are now predicting that when technology becomes capable of recursive self-improvement (that is, the ability to progressively redesign itself), or the ability to build machines smarter and more power than themselves (err, itself?), it’s a case of goodnight nurse, don’t come Monday for mankind.

If you can carry a drone on your wristwatch, you're going to use it to take selfies. That's just common sense.

But scarier still than mere human narcissism is surely an angry swarm of these little buggers trying to suck your blood/violate your expectations of privacy/invade your nightmares.

Dishonourable mentions

Frickn’ lasers: From Star Wars, to gigs in the early 2000s, to shooting drones down from the sky, lasers have come a long way, baby. And while shooting down drones may seem like a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon, one can't help but anticipate the day the US starts using them to melt civilian targets.

The Robomow is exactly what it sounds like: And what it sounds like is a great way to turn the average housecat into a fine red mist in two seconds flat.

Grey goo: When AI, nano-tech and mechanical reproduction finally comes together, the result is bad news for both mankind and matter itself.