Washington, DC -- President Donald Trump, fresh off his early rendezvous with three freed North Korean detainees, bragged about his negotiation skills in dealing with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and showed a pool of reporters “entire communities of these North Korean prisoners this administration just got out of there,” while driving through Washington, DC’s Chinatown section.

“Look at this, I’ve got the most Korean prisoners. We got more here than they do in Korea. Obama did nothing for these people, and look what I’ve done. I provided them grocery stores, playgrounds, massage parlors, and from the looks of it, quality dim sum. They are thriving here. Lowest unemployment ever for North Korean detainees. Why do they always vote Democrat?” a perturbed and perennially confused Trump asked.

“Hillary, she didn’t care. I care about these people. That’s why I am negotiating with the Dear Supreme Leader Kim, we’re going to shock the world. Really good guy. Hopefully we can get even more American prisoners. I know there aren’t anymore now, but maybe soon he’ll add some and then I’ll get to take them back.”

When the president’s motorcade exited Chinatown, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Jordan Friedberg is a writer and humorist based in New York City. Currently the editor of Flake News, he has previously written professionally for Sony and YAI in Manhattan. He voices the character Moe Flake and all the other characters featured in videos throughout the Flake News site. Follow on Twitter @theflakenews.

Jordan Friedberg is a writer and humorist based in New York City. Currently the editor of Flake News, he has previously written professionally for Sony and YAI in Manhattan. He voices the character Moe Flake and all the other characters featured in videos throughout the Flake News site. Follow on Twitter @theflakenews.