Furious at partner...don't really know what to do.

Ok, so my daughter is 7 months old and we are planning to get her baptised in july. In the past we had spoken briefly about who we want to be the godparents but had never really agreed on anyone in particular all we had agreed on was that we each choose one.
I knew that dh wants one of his brothers to be godfather, and i really wanted one of my brothers to also be a godfather. So today I suggested that our daughter have two godfathers instead of a godfather and godmother and dh tells me that he's already asked his bro and his wife, without consulting me first. I'm really pissed but my issue is i don't want my sil to be the godmother...i want my brother to be godfather. I don't want 3 godparents...my brother will feel like the 3rd wheel. And we can't exactly say to sil "oops...we just want your hubby and not you." I don't know what to do. Arrgghh!!!

You just have to be honest with them! If sil can't understand then that's her problem!! My sister recently had her baby baptised and I wasn't asked I was mega pissed at the time as I'm her only biological sister but then I realised I'm not religious like her hubby's family so that was why I wasn't asked. Speak to your sil and say you want your brother to be apart of it too and you can only choose 2 people.

Your sil might get angery but at the end of the day she is going to guide what her husbands life is like and will still be apart of the childs life.
Just tell her your position and that its 2 god fathers.
My daughter was christened and we had my brother in law (who is married) and my best girlfriend.
my sil was soo excited her husband was chosen.
Its your child, your life, YOU CHOOSE!

Depends on the purpose of good parents. In the Anglican system e m it was originally that the God parents would take care of the children if you and baby's dad died. If sister in law isn't involved that could be tricky later. Make it clear in your will.

Oh no
is your hubby willing to not have your SIL and have your brother instead?
Are you close to your SIL?
Could you maybe spin a bit of a white lie to her and say you had already asked your brother? And there was confusion with you and your hubby?

In reply to Sarah112211

23/04/16

Depends on the purpose of good parents. In the Anglican system e m it was originally that the God parents would take care of the children if you and baby's dad died. If sister in law isn't involved that could be tricky later. Make it clear in your will.

We're catholic so for us the role of godparents is to guide our child spiritually. In our will its stated that both our kids will go to my sister( shes my sons godmother) and her hubby in the case that we were to die.

I'm Greek Orthodox, Lukas's father is Anglican. He asked his sister to be godmother and I asked my cousin to be godfather. Lukas will be christened Greek Orthodox, and so now we can only technically have one godparent, but you can have up to 3 people up there helping out the godparent with everything. For us, we realised this after we had already asked 2 people, so being Greek Orthodox my cousin has to be godparent, and Lukas's Aunty will still to us be godmother, but not in the eyes of the church. She's still included in most of the ceremony though so we haven't told her the technicality of it. Perhaps you could have 2 godfathers but your SIL could still be part of the ceremony? If that doesn't suit, I think honesty is the best policy.

In reply to Springbaby86

23/04/16

Oh no
is your hubby willing to not have your SIL and have your brother instead?
Are you close to your SIL?
Could you maybe spin a bit of a white lie to her and say you had already asked your brother? And there was confusion with you and your hubby?

Hubby only asked sil because he wanted his brother. And we're 2 of their daughters 4 godparents.
Not really close to sil, lets just say that if she wasn't married to hubby's bro i wouldn't be friends with her.
I think you're right we'll just have to spin a white lie. He's going to tell her though.

In reply to ameiliajayne

23/04/16

I'm Greek Orthodox, Lukas's father is Anglican. He asked his sister to be godmother and I asked my cousin to be godfather. Lukas will be christened Greek Orthodox, and so now we can only technically have one godparent, but you can have up to 3 people up there helping out the godparent with everything. For us, we realised this after we had already asked 2 people, so being Greek Orthodox my cousin has to be godparent, and Lukas's Aunty will still to us be godmother, but not in the eyes of the church. She's still included in most of the ceremony though so we haven't told her the technicality of it. Perhaps you could have 2 godfathers but your SIL could still be part of the ceremony? If that doesn't suit, I think honesty is the best policy.

Thanks for your reply. Not sure how it works in the catholic church but will def check it out. If it is possible to not have her as an 'official godparent' i think you may have just solved our dilemma.

I would be totally ratty with hubby too, if he made such a decision without consulting me. However, unless you hate the woman, couldn't your child have 3 godparents? The more, the merrier and all that! Our friends are Catholic (as is hubby) and they had four Godparents for their little one, my hubby included. The church were happy with it...they will try to be flexible where possible :)

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