At a screening of the 17 videos included with her 14-track self-titled “visual album” at the School of Visual Arts in New York City on Saturday (Dec. 21), Bey addressed her unconventional release tactic.

“I was terrified. I was so scared. I already envisioned like the worst things that could happen,” Beyoncé said (via Billboard). “I was really nervous because this was a huge risk.”

Beyoncé also spoke out about the rather personal subject matter of her new album saying, “I’m very private and I’m very respectful, and I think it just took me no longer being someone’s child – once I became a mother, I felt like I could tear those fourth walls and I just felt like it was time.”