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(1) Multi-platinum recording artists have feelings, too. Just because artists like Britney Spears and Master P have millions of dollars, doesn't mean they don't feel the sting when people illegally share their music. Next time you don't pay for one of their albums, just remember that you are the reason that Lars Ulrich will have to wait a few months before he can afford that gold-plated shark-tank bar for his swimming pool. Shame. | Episode #105: Christian Rock Hard (Season 7, Episode 9)

(2) It helps to have friends in high places. Though Chef is just a small-town cafeteria worker, he spent his early years helping the careers of musicians from Meat Loaf to Elton John. Those connections come in handy when they agree to play a benefit to help him to get out of a little legal trouble. So, you know, don't burn your bridges; you never know who's going to become rich and famous. | Episode #27: Chef Aid (Season 2, Episode 14)

(3) You can't compete with Bono. Or else. Bono is a successful musician and humanitarian, but even he has some skeletons in his closet. When Randy tries to one-up him, he discovers what the U2 rocker has been hiding offstage. | Episode #162: More Crap (Season 11, Episode 9)

(4) Old dreams of music stardom die hard. Stan's dad has done some crazy stuff, but when Stan tries to form a boy band (a la yesteryear's Backstreet Boys or this year's One Direction), his repressed dreams of doing the same are forced into the open. Together, they learn the pressures of success the hard way. |
Episode #56: Something You Can Do With Your Finger (Season 4, Episode 8)

(5) Guitars are for old people. The rock-star lifestyle may seem glamorous with its flashing lights and sex and drugs parties, but it can turn even best friends Stan and Kyle against one another. No, not on real guitars, on sophisticated gaming software--get with it. | Episode #166: Guitar Queer-O (Season 11, Episode 13)

(6) You can't measure success in gold and platinum. This is one of the funniest examples of Cartman's plans getting foiled, and it teaches a valuable lesson. Against all odds, he finds enormous success by recording his own brand of Christian music with his band, Faith + 1, but the rewards are not exactly what he expected... | Episode #105: Christian Rock Hard (Season 7, Episode 9)

(7) Don't mess with Phil Collins. After being replaced as the headliner at the huge music festival Lalapalalapaza, Collins uses his sinister, manipulative tactics to destroy the hottest new band, Timmy (and the Lords of the Underworld). His Oscar gives him magic powers. | Episode #51: Timmy 2000 (Season 4, Episode 3)

(8) Hippies hate death metal. Hippie music festivals can turn into enormous, uncontrollable events. It just reminds us that sometimes, the only way to get them under control is to blast Slayer and barrel through the crowds with a giant drill. | Episode #127: Die Hippie, Die (Season 9, Episode 2)

(9) Yoko Ono + Kenny G = Crap. One million third graders playing "My Country, 'Tis Of Thee" in perfect unison on their recorders, broadcast for all the world to hear. Admittedly, that sounds like a dream event. But somehow, when Yoko Ono organizes it with Kenny G, the lax security allows some kids to mess the whole thing up, along with their pants. | Episode #48: World Wide Recorder Concert (Season 3, Episode 17)

(10) There's always someone younger and hotter coming along. America's love affair with Jennifer Lopez is still going strong, but there have been some tough times. When Cartman plays host to another spicy Latina by the same name, JLo's management realizes there just isn't room for two Jennys from the Block, and Ben Affleck agrees. How could anyone resist "taco-flavored kisses?" | Episode #101: Fat Butt and Pancake Head (Season 7, Episode 5)

(11) Sometimes, things are so bad that they are good. The boys discover that talent agents and managers are no better than the Chinese mafia when they represent a down-on-her-luck singer with a...unique voice. Never underestimate the William Hung effect. | Episode #128: Wing (Season 9, Episode 3)

(12) Enjoy Justin Bieber. He won't be around forever. For many, the most frightening moment in all of South Park history occurs when Cartman orders the Dark Lord Cthulhu to pop the Biebs' head like a cherry tomato. It just reminds us to be thankful for every day we have with our beloved Bieber. | Episode #208: Coon vs. Coon and Friends (Season 13, Episode 13)

(13) There's only one 'Cure' for Barbra Streisand. Babs is an icon of music, theatre, and film, but when she get a little too big for her britches and turns into Mecha-Streisand, the boys need to enlist the help of a super-charged Leonard Maltin, Sidney Poitier, and Robert Smith of The Cure, who has been waiting for this day to come. | Episode #12: Mecha-Streisand (Season 1, Episode 12)

(14) One day, you too will hate new music. Becoming bitter and cynical is a part of growing up, as Stan discovers when he enters the double digits. But Randy is more reluctant to admit that he just doesn't get what the young kids are listening to. Enter Steamy Ray Vaughn and Steamy Nicks. | Episode #216: You're Getting Old (Season 15, Episode 7)

(15) Our children are not safe from the round-eared devil. If there's one thing we can learn from this brave investigation of the international sensation that is The Jonas Brothers, it is that Disney does what it wants, and we should be happy that it lets us have any free will at all. | Episode #182: The Ring (Season 13, Episode 1)

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