All my life, I’ve wanted to make a difference in the world. I have sought ways to do it. At last, in today’s mail, I found just how to do it my way.

I guess it’s not really a new idea. Folks have been improving the world by spreading the wealth for centuries. That, I’m sure, was behind George Bush’s terrorism-busting shopping suggestion. The idea is, of course, to spread the wealth and spend money. So I’m gonna. I’m gonna spend lots.

Curious?

Well today I got the most fabulous catalog in the mail. And it changed my life.

Now, I get loads of catalogs. Truth be told, I buy a lot of stuff out of them. Clothes, gifts, stuff no one likes or wants. You know, just like everyone.

But this catalog was different, and not just because it was laminated. This one told me that I could make a difference and have a blast at the same time. All the time, not having to mix with the little people.

What was this catalog, you ask. Was it the Harriet Carter catalog, filled with stuff you can normally only buy on late-night cable TV (like this Skin Tag Remover) along with a generous assortment of vibrators?

Harriet Carter.com

Nope. Better.

Was it the Heiffer, International catalog? Could I order some goats and chickens and ducks (alas no coots) for folks so that they can raise livestock and have a better life?

Heiffer International, a wonderful organization, for real

Nope. Way Better.

Was it a Williams Sonoma catalog full of pricey pots and pans in which I can make gourmet treats for the homeless?

Catalog Cover

Nope. It was beyond my wildest dreams.

It was the TCS and Starquest Expeditions Catalog, The World Leader in Private Jet Travel. And they invited me along on a Cultures and Cuisines tour! Can you believe it? Me! Here’s the trip:

Now, the cuisine and culture tour looks really good. But the Around the World tour looks, even better. I can go here:

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

And Here

Moais, Easter Island, Chile

And here

Luxor Egypt

In fact, I can go to all these places!

Around the World Itinerary

Best of all, there will be no shoe removal at the airport because I’ll get to do it on this:

My Wings

But best of all, I will be able to save the world while I do it. I’m pretty sure that George W and Laura Bush will be along for this one because lookee here at just how the website tells me we’re going to save the world:

Make a Difference in the WorldBy joining this expedition, you support efforts to enhance the conditions of peoples and places we visit. At each destination on the itinerary, TCS & Starquest Expeditions purchases traditional handicrafts made by local artisans, provides supplies for medical centers or schools, or donates funds for essential programs. (Impressive, no?)

Or

Make a Difference in the WorldBy joining an Around the World expedition, you will automatically support efforts to enhance the conditions of the places and peoples we visit—there is no further commitment necessary on your part. Our expedition will provide supplies to medical clinics and schools, as well as contribute funds for essential projects that many people depend on. (Nope, I don’t want to have to do extra to save the world. Trust me, paying for this trip will suffice.)

Which way I save the world is dependent entirely on which tour I choose. Decisions, decisions.

Damn, it’s wonderful being in the top 1% of the top 1%. With TCS and Starquest Expeditions you can see the world guilt free. All this for about $60,000. Each. And there is no need to mingle.

Oh, IT, your way is the best way to help people. I was being funny — this in my opinion is a silly way. It is rich people doing things that are fun and trying to pretend that they are helping others so that they don’t feel guilty. They should donate the $60,000 to you for your work. THAT would help much more than buying trinkets in between gourmet meals!

Oh, wow! That is a super cool idea. I wish I have $60,000. May be one day. For now, I can help people by being the best health worker that I can be. To help the sick and those in need. It may not be as grand but it’s a start right? I’m happy for you. Just looking at those wonderful pictures, I can already envision an amazing adventure for you. Stay blessed my friend…

Oy vey. Slick marketing is when you get bent over and serviced from behind and you don’t know it until it’s too late. This is not slick marketing. This is a frontal assualt by a clumsy rich guy with a gold card.
But it’s all First Class!

Thank you for including the PRICE!
These (or similar) personal jet tours are advertised on our TV but there is NEVER a price included. They will mention ‘save $10,000 by booking early’ but never a full price.

That looks wonderful, PW. I would love to go. Actually I love to travel but haven’t done much in several years. I’m looking forward to doing more of it. But I love the idea of this tour. And we would have a BLAST!

It’s you, me, Peg, Nigel, Guap, Angie, Totsy, Valentine and Twindaddy so far want to come I bet we could twist a few other arms with an infusion of cash. It could be a great party. But they’d better have WiFi on that there plane, or there will be no fun blogs to read for the month or so we’ll be on tour!.

I don’t think this is false advertising so much as clueless advertising. Given that the target is, based on the price, the super-rich, I think it’s closer to Mitt Romney’s “I love NASCAR. I have several good friends who own NASCAR teams.”

I’ve been to three of the places (and mingled) on your around the world trip though I flew commercial to two of them. I can drive to the other one and do a few times a year. Yep, Orlando is only about an hour away.

So glad to see you will be traveling to make the world a better place. Let me know when you get to Orlando and I’ll meet you for a drink!

Does someone else post on your blog? I have Stuphblog postings — 2 for 2/29, 1-2/28 and the one you’re talking about 2/26 (Part 5). And I think an editorial comment of mine may have ended up in spam (or you cut it, which is ok too).

Also, I just checked my span queue and there was nothing from you in there so I’m not sure what happened there. I would definitely never delete a comment from you. I treasure every word you utter (or type) and could not bear parting with one syllable.

Thank you Paprika. It’s kind of you to notice just how special I am. And when I receive my nomination for Nobel Peace prize for humanitarian efforts while flying around the world in a private jet buying chachkas, I’ll be thinking of you. Angelina Jolie and I will, in fact, drink a toast to you!

I’ll be with you, I just bid for a job on Freelancer.com so I will soon be able to afford it if I work 36/10/478 for the next 200 years. It is amazing how these opportunities drop into your lap.
Nigel 😉

I think we’re on the same mailing list, only I haven’t gotten this one yet. So, I’m guessing the philanthropic part of this involves buying locally made crappy souvenirs and dropping off a box of bandaids at the local clinic – seems a little pricey to me.

What! You can’t afford this tour! I can’t believe I am friends with you in the ‘sphere. Because, of course, self worth, and that of one’s friends, is determined by their financial statements. Isn’t it?????

Yes, these pictures were WAY better than the Harriet Carter ones. I wanted to go a lot more before I read the statement about how I can make a different by buying bangles and beads from the little people.