The dictatorship – life with a two year old toddler.

**This post has sat in my drafts for a while, forgotten and lonely. My toddler model is now over three years old and still thriving. But before I tell you all about how “the model” has evolved, let me take you back to a year ago when I was living with a two year old. Continuing on from one of my more popular postsLife with a toddler – the 2014 model.Enjoy!**

As the parent of a toddler, I’m finding myself under the dictatorship of a two year old. In a similar fashion to a communist regime, I’m regularly told where to sit, who to talk to, how to play certain “games”. To be honest it doesn’t feel like playing when I’m being ordered what car I can and can’t play with, and exactly where to drive it.

Mainstream music is limited to anything on the CBeebies or nursery rhyme playlist. Disney films and CBeebies get the seal of approval but otherwise the only other programme to frequent our screens are Paw Patrol and Blaze and the Monster Machines.

Our day begins at a semi reasonable hour but orders to “go downstairs” ring out on on the toddler tannoy before I have time to even open my eyes. His lordship dictates specific rules such as;

The bath must be completely empty of water before exiting.

Face washing will only commence once there are at least three toys in the sink of water.

Drinks will only be drunk if provided in a container to Sir’s satisfaction.

You may be familiar with the term “terrible twos”. It’s a widely used phrase that many people now know and use. Closely followed by the supposéd “threenager” phase. As my parenting journey began as a follower of the gentle parenting regime, I was led to believe these were not ideal terms to label a your toddler with.

However, being a good few years into this parenting shizzle I can confirm that these are inevitable stages that your mini dictator will go through. At two years old you will have days that you will swear this model truly can be terrible to be in the company of. My own experiences are teaching me that patience and calmness help.

When your mini dictator goes into terrible mode whilst in a public setting, a huge dose of trying to ignore what’s happening goes a long way. People may stare because they either don’t have this model or they haven’t for a long time and they have forgotten what it’s like to take it out. Remain calm, composed and patient and this will help settle your mini dictator back to it’s usual lovely self whilst showing the world that “you’ve got this shit”.

So if you’ve recently installed a future mini dictator into your fine self and you are reading this, never fear, we’ve all pretty much dealt with this in year two. For anyone going through year two with their model I hope my tips help. I’m learning that the cuteness mode is ever increasing and the fun mode has now been upgraded. This upgrade allows you to enjoy their marvel at everything and days out feel a lot more worthwhile. Gone are the days where you take your early model out, waving it at fish tanks in an aquarium hoping for a reaction.

If you have read all of this and have no idea what I am going on about, please rest assured that this is a tongue in cheek account of living with a two year old. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Lol a slave to the love of these mini dictators. I look at him and I think aww you aw so cute and adorable but please stop demanding mummy do this every 5 seconds (no exaggeration) lol. I know one day I WILL miss this and others would give anything for it so I try my best to cherish the toddler rule 😜

Ah it sounds like you have a lot of experience with many mini dictators.

I sometimes wish I could be two again or at least remember what it felt like because it feels like such crazy nonsense at times. I just have to remind myself that to them it really is the end of the century.

I can totally relate to this! Even though we are long past this stage the memories remain and it is a phase I am glad we have left long behind! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you can come back again next time.

I truly can relate! I have a mini dictator of my own. He wants everything done the way wants it- the color of his bowl, the shirt he’s going to wear, the exact piece of Brioss bread snack he wants from the pack… when I say something like, “Why don’t you go over to your big boy bed?” He would be like, “How about I go to the Mama Papa bed?”
Hehe… #todderhood 🙂