If they had one of these dedicated to the making of mincemeat pies, would it be called the Suet Side Hotline?posted by Atom Eyes at 10:35 AM on September 16, 2013 [8 favorites]

I do radio commercials for products.posted by dirtdirt at 10:40 AM on September 16, 2013

"You can't come in here with half a thing."

not from the same episode, but still one of my all time favorite linesposted by jquinby at 10:44 AM on September 16, 2013 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: Come into a thread expecting one thing, get clips of The West Wing instead. Win!posted by jennaratrix at 10:57 AM on September 16, 2013

This story is a fascinating little capsule of gender relations. My folk understanding is that most instructional voices are female because that tests better with consumers. See for example this summary of computer voice gender. Maybe it's different for cooking instructions? Honestly I'd expect they'd be doing all they could to hire people who sound like grandma.

I wonder if they'll bias towards gay-sounding men. Not faggy or campy, but cultured and refined.posted by Nelson at 10:59 AM on September 16, 2013 [3 favorites]

I call fowl on this story, as I know someone who used to do temp phone work for Butterball during Thanksgiving. (intended)posted by goethean at 11:05 AM on September 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Gently spread the herbed oil along the breasts, then move down to the thighs, rubbing it in slowly, with a firm but gentle pressure. As the oven warms up for the bird, ...posted by buzzman at 11:30 AM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Come into a thread expecting one thing, get clips of The West Wing instead. Win!

So, the spokesman should probably have cooked a turkey before at some point for cred, but the "turkey tips" can be learned for the media appearances. What you really need there is personality, somebody with broad appeal who'll alienate neither your traditional roasters nor your gonzo fryers and grillers.

We need to settle this the American way.

We need a reality show.

Last Summer on FOX: Who Wants to be Butterball's Next Top Turkey Line Spokesman?

Hopefuls are each paired with an experienced corporate/celebrity spokesperson in a series of bizarre, undignified challenges tangentially related to his future duties at Butterball, really designed to judge how much the fickle turkey-eating audience likes him.. How many bowls of cranberry sauce CAN you pour down your partner's trousers? I don't know, but whoever gets the most wins a tearful phone call home!

Heh. Its been an ongoing joke in the call centers for years to send people to the butterball hotline when asked really dumb questions. "They'll answer anything."posted by Mister Fabulous at 12:54 PM on September 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Cjorgensen is my hero Christ what an asshole.posted by timsteil at 2:04 PM on September 16, 2013

I've always been a little perplexed by that West Wing scene. Because it appears as though Bartlet was on hold on speakerphone with Butterball for most of the episode, while having all sorts of conversations about political strategy (and presumably, stuff that requires high-level security clearances) throughout the episode. So basically, anyone at Butterball could have overheard everything that went on in the Oval Office all day. That doesn't seem right to me.

Presumably the Presidential desk phone is a real Cadillac-type model, allowing you to mute the local microphone while on speakerphone.posted by axiom at 2:45 PM on September 16, 2013

Yes, but as Mrs. Landingham has pointed out, the President doesn't know how to work his fancy phone, which is why he always yells to her through the doorway instead of using the intercom.posted by decathecting at 3:01 PM on September 16, 2013

Two posts? ONE POST TOO LATE.

it's basically advertising but I don't care, that clip is so great.posted by chrominance at 4:28 PM on September 16, 2013

I am glad the oppression of men is finally ended.posted by cjorgensen at 5:59 PM on September 16, 2013

Mr. Roquette cooks the best roast turkey EVER! I am not that fond of turkey as a food, but he does such a good job that he does the Thanksgiving and Christmas turkeys for our building. We aren't Christian, but we do that and just go out for a few minutes so he can receive the thanks of a grateful many.
He excels in the manly art of grilling as well.posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:19 PM on September 16, 2013

That Butterball bit was from S3, which is after Mrs. Landingham dies. I like to think that Bartlet learned to work the phone after that, but rewatching that bit it's clear that there's no mute button in effect. On the other hand, it's just prior to Thanksgiving, so maybe a bit of a slow day in the Oval, and it's fine to just leave the line on for a few minutes?posted by axiom at 9:12 PM on September 16, 2013

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