Death Cafe profile for
evoci

We met at the Church and 12 people attended, 4 of them new to the group. Our conversation was free-ranging as we discussed how we want to be remembered, and our life legacies, along with describing a death that influenced how we think of death. Holiday cupcakes added a festive and delicious touch for our gathering and our fellowship of kindred spirits.

We met at a new location, the Heartland Unitarian Universalist Church, and 8 of us gathered for a spirited conversation over coffee, tea and an autumn cake. Topics included suicide, loss of our parents and society's fear of talking about death.

We will meet at this location for the final cafe of the year to be held on Sunday December 17 from 2 pm to 4 pm.

Our Cafe group continues to attract new attendees and today was no exception. We discussed death and dying, the changes in laws in the US and Canada on physician assisted suicide and how each of us has experienced the death of our parents with a view to how we wish to die. Stimulating, free wheeling and very respectful and supportive of each others' opinions.

Our free flowing discussion was about human consciousness and the awareness of self. We shared stories of how our consciousness has grown and described it as those times in our lives when we had a profound sense of unity and perfection. Definitions are mostly elusive; but self-awareness, mindfulness and conscious living are some ways that consciousness is expressed.

A stimulating discussion with new members and "regular" attendees. The Carmel Death Cafes have met once a month since 2014, but now we meet quarterly.

A delicious cake and beverages were served and enjoyed in the special fellowship of this group.

We met for the final Cafe of the year 2015 from 2-4 pm at 11805 North Pennsylvania Street in Carmel, IN; a new person came to visit and she is preparing to become a death doula. Much of the conversation that ensued was about that role, and then it launched us into talking more about death and holiday traditions, loss of loved ones, becoming the elder in the family of origin.

Next year, the Carmel Death Cafe will meet quarterly in the same location and same time - on Sundays, March 20,June 12,Sept 18 and Dec.11, 2016.

We discussed proposed changes to Medicare that will cover physician-client conversations regarding end of life issues. We expect to participate in national comments sought by Medicare and are in support of this change.

We also discussed deathbed conversations we have had with parents, adult children and friends who have passed on and how these experiences have influenced our attitudes toward dying.

The gathering was held on the Winter Solstice, Sunday afternoon, Dec 21, 2014. Participants were asked to describe the most enjoyable aspect of the Cafe they responded:

"the openness" "hearing others' thoughts and comments which help me see things differently and listening to everyone, I love the descriptor 'intimate'";"the exchange of ideas and theories"; "sharing - everyone seemed comfortable in participating";"the casual atmosphere";"the sense of community we have with one another";"the sharing of stories";and "the open forum with whole group participation."

A warm and caring sense of community was remarked upon by several people and one person who was attending for the first time ...

It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of kniwing when our time is up - that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had."

On Sunday October 19th, the Death Cafe met with 12 attending. There was much discussion of suicide and assisted suicide inspired by a 29 year old woman named Brittany who has chosen to end her life next month as the result of being diagnosed with a virulent form of brain cancer.

Our gathering was enhanced with a gluten free dessert and fresh fruit; evaluation comments included responses to the question "What was the most enjoyable aspect of the Cafe?"

The Cafe was a lively gathering of people from the local area, including Anderson, IN. Evaluation comments included descriptions such as "inviting, intriguing, timely", interesting, provcative and shared commonalities". and "valuable, spiritual and enlightening."

The environment was described by one person as "peaceful, calming and thoughtful".

The most enjoyable aspect of the Death Cafe included "Hearing stories about death from people with wisdom and different life experiences", "meeting others with compassion", and "Sharing with others who are open in heart and in mind."

Several people signed up for the next cafe being held on Sunday, October 19. To register for this free event, call Elaine at 317-730-5481; seating ...

The first Carmel Death Cafe was held on Sunday July 20, 2014! What a great group of people to meet. They were enthusiastic and grateful for one another; in fact, the "theme" in their evaluation comments was that they appreciated being with like-minded people who were willing to talk about death and dying. One even called it "fun" and another referred to it as a "fresh breath of openness". Love that!