Impure thoughtsfor complex times.

June 03, 2008By:
ERITAS News ServicecloseAuthor: ERITAS News ServiceName: David GowEmail: mrblog@kinetic.seattle.wa.usSite:http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogAbout: I am a policy analyst currently working in the field of environmental protection. Other activities include: Advocacy of public transit, including advanced technologies such as APMs and Personal Rapid Transit (aka 'podcars'). Writing political humor at "Wiseline Institute and Center For The Secular Humorism," and enviro-blogging at "This Week In Precipitation" on Zaproot. I also serve on the steering committees of the Greater Greenwood Bi-Peds, a grassroots group promoting pedestrian and bicycle safety in Seattle, and SoundPRT, an ad hoc Seattle group advocating podcars.See Authors Posts (352)Category: Elections, Humor, Politics, Satire

Presumptive Republican nominee for president John McCain wasted no time Tuesday night in launching his battle for the November general election.

Only minutes after Barack Obama claimed the Democratic nomination over rival Hillary Rodham Clinton following his win of the Montana primary, McCain sought to win over disaffected Clinton supporters. “My friends, if it’s a female leader you want, you’re looking at him,” McCain told a New Orleans rally.

“I’ve spent the last few weeks in private, getting in touch with my feminine side. And you know what? No elderly man is prouder of his man-boobs than me, my friends,” said McCain.

“In fact, my friends, I can be more than friends to Senator Clinton’s supporters. I want them to consider me to be their sister,” he said. He concluded the speech by removing and burning his manssiere, which he called an act of liberation.

McCain was dressed in a smart lilac-colored pantsuit, white shoes and checkered scarf. He went on to say the scarf, a kaffiyeh, came from a cute little stall he discovered while shopping in a Baghdad bazaar with the 1st Air Cavalry.

Update: as he left the rally, McCain started shaking hands and struck up a conversation with several female supporters. They hit it off, and went out for mojitos followed by a showing of Sex And The City.

That’s a pretty revolting picture you are painting there. When you mentioned “getting in touch with his feminine side” I immediately flashed on the scene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” of the ladies with their hand mirrors…Ouch!