The Paris attacks on Friday were a tragedy for France, as well as the global community. No doubt about that. People will claim that the Paris attacks fall under the category of “shouldn’t be made fun of” because “some things just shouldn’t be joked about.” Those people are wrong, and you can count on us to make sure we carry the torch through these highly offendable times. Now you might be asking to yourself, “What could possibly be funny?” regarding the Paris attacks. Gee, I don’t know, the fact that France has been the most tolerant and inviting of countries when it comes to Muslim immigrants, or the fact that France now has to stand tough against something, which for them usually means agreeing to it more slowly. How about the fact that American metal band Eagles of Death Metal were at the center of one of the attack areas? It’s like a scene out of Metalocalypse. If that’s not funny to you, then you are a joyless boob. Brutal!

We can’t do an entire show about the Paris attacks of course, because 1) we’re not clever enough to pull it off, and 2) this week was chock full of rage-inducing occurrences on college campuses from stupid millennials. We’d be dishonoring ourselves if we didn’t cover this topic; I just finished putting my “Get Off My Lawn” sign in my front yard. Yale, one of the best (if not the best) colleges in America and the world, has seen a decline in intelligence in recent years. Not necessarily through test scores, but through experience. On Halloween, a headmaster sent an email to Yale students reminding them to consider being sensitive about Halloween costumes that could offend certain people. Another faculty member sent a follow-up email discussing where the line is between freedom of speech and being offended, and who among us really has the right to decide which side of the line a given occurrence is on. Neither of these emails instructed anyone to actually do anything other than think about the subject at hand before choosing to do something. No rules were given, no statements or absolutes of any kind were suggested; both were simply discussing what it means to consider offense and free speech when it comes to costumes. This is probably the lamest thing anyone has ever been upset about, yet upset they were as students went and protested the woman’s email questioning where the line is… by yelling at her husband. They made claims that Yale doesn’t feel safe anymore and they no longer love their college because having to think about things that are different than what you think is very taxing on the coddled mind. I’m sure their rational Muslim friends will caution on the side of free speech. Perhaps they’d enjoy going to college in Paris.

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