17 January 2006

Blow by Blow....

OI!!

Yvyl Yvy has complained that my last entry *snickersnicker* was too sanitised because I omitted the word 'blowjob.' Just to keep her happy, as well as the rest of you naughty people out there, here's the 18SX-rated version.

"Mr. Bond, we have been expecting you. Yes, I know. Shocking, isn’t it? You cannot surprise a woman, so what makes you think you could surprise me?

My name is Blowjob. All the good names were taken, you see.

Would you care for some grapes, Mr. Bond? Quite safe, honestly. Poison is so passé.

This is no randompower-grab by an evil, bald woman. You see, Mr. Bond, hair care costs so much these days. And world domination is such an expensive business. So I’ve decided to shave instead....

World domination is also a full-time occupation. Loneliness is my only companion, apart from my cat. Would you like to stroke my furry kitty, Mr. Bond? She won’t bite.

Before we finish you, Mr. Bond, we will reveal our… cleverness to you. A week from now, the world’s water supply will be taken hostage by my robot army. We mean to hold it to ransom for (wait for it) ONE MILLION DOLLARS! We will accept cash, credit card or blue gemstones. After all, diamonds are forever.

You may want to lie down for the next part, Mr. Bond. This won’t hurt a bit.

Promise." (193 words)

I can see the headlines now: 'Write a short essay 100-200 words containing the following words, used as many times as you like: plink, pengendali, laman, web, d@j@l.' Habis kang....

SAm: ROTFLMTeaAndBiscuitsUpInTheAir! But isn't it the man who usually, er... does the 'undoing'?LB: Shaken, not stirred is (of course) a Bond signature. Will it be a new section on your blog?Yvy: Aperla preference-preference nih? Does BF know? o_O?!HA: 10Q! 10Q! The idea came (*snickersnicker*) to me while I was in bed (*snickersnicker*) trying to get some sleeplah (*snickersnicker*). Sleeping on (*snickersnicker*) an idea can sometimes bring out good stuff, no? But your wan very-the-powderful orso wat....

YeeWei: Confession time. It's partly the sell as well. If I hadn't put in the para at the top with the *snickersnicker*, a lot of the double-entedres may have gone unnoticed.Try reading it again 'clean,' and substitute the villain's name with something less... sensual.... ;)