Motherly Instincts?

FTM (first time mom) of a newborn of almost 3 weeks. I feel so clueless as to how to care for my daughter. How do I tell the difference in my baby's cries? I love my daughter but I thought your instincts were supposed to kick in right away and I feel so lost. I don't know how to tell if her cry is for hunger or if she's tired or if something is wrong. Not trying to sound stupid but I feel like I'm failing her. Someone please help. :'(

Comments (43)

You're not failing her. Every newborn is different, at this stage you will try any and everything for them. It takes time, but eventually you will come to find the difference in cries, as you say. Right now you're getting to know one another. Hang in there! It will get better.

Girl this is my second baby and half the time I’m like “what do you want!?”

I remember when my first son was born I was in a store with my hubby and my DH (dear husband) was pushing the stroller and I thought I heard my baby crying when I was in a different aisle and came to find out it was another baby and I felt like the worst mom ever for not knowing my newborns cry.

Anyways, my point is there will come a time when you know every little detail about your baby. You guys just met! Newborn cries are all the same to me. Give you and your baby time and I promise as you get to know each other it’ll come

there will be a time when your baby is fussy and you are the only one to calm her Bc you are the momma! Don’t worry you’re doing great

Oh man I cant tell my babies cries apart either. I just guess based on if it's been 2 or 3 hours since her last feed..I put my finger by her mouth and if shes hungry she lunges for it thinking it's a nipple. If not that I check her diaper. If its neither of those she usually just wants to be held or go to sleep. It's all guess and check over here no intuition

This is my second baby. I'm going to let you in on a secret... No one knows what they're doing lol. We're all flailing around wildly trying to figure out what our children need. And just when you think you have everything figured out... Things will change. It's the nature of parenthood to always be trying something new to figure out what works. My first baby was such an easy newborn... This kid is fussy and high maintenance so even though I've done this before... I've never done this before. You're definitely not a failure. Newborn stage is just about survival. Take it one moment at a time and remember to breathe.

If I remember correctly, their cries don’t start being specific until around 6 weeks. So, until then, it is basically the same cry for everything. I remember when I had my first, my friend told me she was learning the differences in her son’s cries around 6 weeks and when my son was six weeks, I tried so hard to see a difference and it wasn’t until around 10 weeks that I actually started being able to identify his hungry cry from all the others. Don’t worry, we’re all in the same boat right now. All baby can tell you at this point is that they need something, whatever that something may be 😊

I'm on my 3rd and I still don't know what I'm doing. I spend a lot of the day (and night!) asking her "what is it baby?"
Last night pacing around my room because that's the only way she would sleep as I cried in exhaustion till 2am, when she finally was in a deep enough sleep I could put her in the cosleeper and lay down myself.

I will say it does get better and easier eventually. And they do grow up so fast. As cliche as it sounds, enjoy the quiet newborn cuddles while you can.

If my kid has different cries, I don’t know them. I guess his needs based on how long it’s been since he last ate because he kinda eats, poops and spits up like clockwork. There have definitely been some wonderful late night “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?” moments.

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