What I Have Learned by Being More Quiet – Listening and Observing:

As writers, we don’t really talk much. We tend to be reserved, on the outside, as on the inside we remember every shadow, every light break and every step. We look for expressions, vibrations, gestures and the effects of every action that is being made. Mainly by others.

Often, people tend to call us inexpressive, as we don’t really react, we don’t like to cause a scene. We already know that there are too many things going on, we don’t need to make a bigger fuss about it.

Inexpressive is a weak word calling out on the stronger ones.

The creative process is something you do alone – with this post, I will let you know what I learned by being more quiet than usual, while listening and observing how others behave and react. Here is goes:

No matter what you do, people will go on with their lives. THEIR lives.

And this is amazing!

Remember how you were all torn up about what others think of you and how you should always make a great impression? Well, this time, it seems that it was more about them than about you.

Sure, being liked is somewhat cool but it’s already overrated. If you pay attention, you will see that people will tend to only want to talk about themselves, what they did, what they want to do, where they went, what they think. And it’s nothing wrong with that but it’s time to build your own empire.

What you can do, at least is do whatever you want as people will still be forever concerned about themselves.

You do you. The world has a bigger purpose than that.

People need assurance and response.

Others expect you to do something. All the time. And by something I mean: discuss, interact, plan. You can’t sit quietly, in your place without being asked if something is wrong.

They ask because you are misleading them by being quiet.

They ask because they genuinely care.

They ask because you are making them wonder.

You are giving mixed signals. No one likes that. To save the situation, all you have to do is tell them that you are feeling like being silent for a while. Make them understand that.

What if you’ll react?

As soon as you start to react more intensively than before, people will assume that again, something is wrong. They might think that you are frustrated or stressed or something is going on because they never saw you like this before.

You’re making them wonder again. Mmmm…But what you need to know, is that perceptions can change just as much as people can change.

Knowing that is going on, gives people a sense of control. It’s the least amount we get.

Everyone wants to be heard but no one really likes to listen.

Not being actively involved in starting conversations or maintaining them can actually be fun. If you are in a situation where there are a lot of people and everyone is talking, you will see that there is no room to add something else because no one is listening to what the other is saying. Everyone wants to be heard but no one really likes to listen.

Except those rare ones. Those great listeners. Hello!

In the end, people only want to be happy and create nice memories.

In the end, what matters is trying to be a decent human every day and being surrounded by people that are bringing you happy moments either by being too loud or too quiet.

And if you have someone that cares enough to want a response and assurance from you, you’re the lucky one.

#WriteToTell

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writetotellmagazine

Desperately wanting to create a life that I absolutely love.
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6 thoughts on “What I Have Learned by Being More Quiet – Listening and Observing:”

Really great post. You are right, often in conversations with people in real life, they often talk about themselves. For example, a couple colleagues were talking, one went on holiday and the other asked how it was, after a response, they started speaking about their own holiday. As you said, there is nothing wrong with this. But it’s definitely an interesting pattern to observe. Personally, last year I became aware that I was also falling into this pattern so I started actively working on listening more to others and talking less about myself (I know the irony as I blog lol). You know what, you learn a lot of interesting things and gain insights just by listening more! Thank you for writing this, your basically nailed thus part of human behaviour. Good job 🙂