Getting more happiness out of every day…

Author: Bethany Siegenthaler

Shut the front door. There’s no feeling like this. It’s really kinda hard to explain. The feelings adding up to earning this car, the excitement of growing my business, the extreme joy the moment I knew I’d crossed the finish line.

But today, when I walk up to a Benz dealership and they open the door for you and make you fresh coffee and fill out the paperwork with you and tour all the car’s features and follow you to the gas station and give you a full tank of gas…stepping over the super sweet Mercedes Benz name on the floor panel….that was a cool feeling…

Oh and the Harman/Kardon LOGIC 7 Sound System…that in itself – I love music. Love it! And now I just might go deaf enjoying it. And being able to call someone on the bluetooth in a practically noiseless car. So amazing. SO. AMAZING.

Maybe you are new to my story, maybe you have been following it, but I had the opportunity to earn this amazing car 2 years ago, and I didn’t make the cut. Twice, I fell out of the program and didn’t earn the car. But on the third try…I earned it. And I’m 8 months from earning the title to my car (right now it’s a lease I don’t pay a dime for).

Gosh, I usually have a moral to my story. So what is it today? It’s don’t give up. Don’t give up on your dreams, and don’t give up on your excitement in life. Yes, this was a team effort, but 2 years ago the same people weren’t even on my sales team. If I had given up after the first round, the current group wouldn’t even know we had a chance. Live your dreams out loud and share them with others, and magic.will. happen.

It’s up to YOU to make what you want to happen in life HAPPEN. So, DO IT NOW. Do what you need to do, and never ever ever give up. Because 2 years ago, when I had fallen out of the program, and my husband had lost his job and we were barely scraping by and I had to DOUBLE my business activity to just pay the bills we already had, I didn’t give up. And look at me now.

So, I’ll leave you with this. I deliberated about what would the first song I play be for a long time. Music has always been a large part of my life and for whatever reason – I needed to deflower the speaker system with something meaningful and triumphant. So here’s what I picked:

And here’s my shiny new Mercedes Benz C250 Coupe. In a shiny gorgeous red that the salesperson Amanda said she had never seen before and wanted to buy the car for herself before I had a chance to pick it up.

Let’s be short and sweet. This is why you should listen to me. I’ve been in the business 4 years, I have the best mentors in the world, and I’ve been able to quit my job, earned multiple trips to exotic and faraway destinations, I was the number one director in my company at my level before I’d even been in the business 3.5 years, I have a $40,000 Benz getting delivered to me in 2-3 weeks, and I’ve tripled what I used to make working 60 hour weeks. If you haven’t done as much as that, or more, then you should listen to my advice.

1. Don’t be that guy. Get a mentor who knows how to do this and not make an ass of themselves, and don’t use facebook to tag people who didn’t ask to be tagged, to endlessly promote your shit online and to ask people to buy from you 17 times a day. Learn how to use Facebook the RIGHT way. You should check out this article and then start following my great friend Brian P Cook, because if you want to be cool AND be in multi level marketing of any kind and not have people shun you in the grocery store, or unfollow you on facebook, then you Don’t want to be THAT guy. And also, don’t be like those Amway people that invite you to a dinner party they didn’t tell you was a sales presentation. Just be honest with your friends. Say hey, this is a business call, or hey this is a friend call. Then they won’t hate you. And by the way, MAKE NON BUSINESS CALLS. Have fun, and be social.

2. This is going to take effort. More in the beginning than in the end. And you need to train yourself. You can’t start this and have success without training. No one gets a job anywhere and has success on day one without training. Most people pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for a college degree (and some they never use) and then still need on-the-job training. So stop thinking it’s going to fall in your lap.

3. You’re going to hit walls. First I hit walls when I had cancellations. Now I hit walls as a coach, and don’t know what to do when my team won’t engage or when they start training their recruits and the message gets scrambled down the line. FIND A MENTOR. In this business, it’s just monkey see monkey do. Someone who has been in the business longer than you has been where you are. The only reason they are having success and you aren’t (or aren’t having as much), is that they found a way through the problem. Don’t think you have to go it alone – you don’t have to come up with your own solutions. Just ask them, they’re happy to help. Because after all, in these Pyramid companies (and PS – what company doesn’t have a few people at the top and lots of people at the bottom?) they won’t make money unless you make money.

4. Understand the 10% rule. When I first started this business, my mentor told me – remember the 10% rule. Only 10% of people are going to do anything with this. Anything AT ALL. Not that only 10% are going to get rich, that 10% are going to even put in effort. And only 10% of those 10% are going to have amazing success! I thought this odd, but then I started applying the 10% rule to life – it’s not just in this business – it’s in everything. About 10% of employees make a place worthwhile. About 10% of your friends are really really truly reliable! One time I told my great friend about the 10% rule, and he shot back a quote to me from THOUSANDS of years ago. It’s a quote from Heraclitus, who was born 535 years before Christ (or Before Common Era if you’re like that). The 10% rule has been around for THAT LONG!

“Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.”

5. Breaks are good and breaks are bad. You need work/life balance for sure, and who wants to make all this money if you aren’t going to have fun, but you have to have discipline. ESPECIALLY when you are starting up, you really have to work on this every day. You can’t only focus on it 2 days a month. It just doesn’t work like that. Spend 30 minutes a day on your business, AT LEAST. What does that mean? That means 30 minutes a day talking to people and promoting yourself. This does NOT mean 30 minutes puking on facebook. It means TALKING to humans who are new prospects, old clients who you are giving service to, or getting reorders. Hell, even a thank you for your business call here and there. But what you CAN’T DO. What you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DO is work half ass at it. Because not only does what you do now, echo into your business for the next 60-90 days (that’s good and bad echoes alike), but when you take a break and you haven’t created residuals yet, you are STARTING OVER AT GROUND ZERO EVERY TIME!

6. You have to invest in your products. You can’t sell things you don’t use and enjoy. You must be a product of your product. I sell skincare and makeup. I have team members who don’t even order enough every month to cover what they should be USING in a month. Yet they tell me they are trying to build a business. Guess what? None of them are having success. I don’t mean stockpile and order just to order. I just mean, USE and become familiar with your products and TALK ABOUT THEM with LOVE and PASSION. People will feel this! Then they WILL BUY!

7. You have to invest in yourself. This is really just a personal growth business masked by some sort of merchandising. The people who make lots of money at this are the people that are becoming better humans every day. They are learning to communicate better, they are learning to position themselves in the market, they are learning to coach, they are becoming more patient, and wise, and they’re wasting less time on useless pursuits and more time on MEANINGFUL LIVES.

8. NOs are a good thing. You have to learn to get NOs, because when you get really good at getting NOs, suddenly they turn into YESses! Baseball players who bat a 400 (that means just 4 out of 10) get paid millions between their team contracts and endorsements. I can’t say it ANY better than this guy, so just watch this.

Do you agree? If you are having success in Network Marketing, I would love to know what you would add to this list. If you’re not, and you have questions – then ASK ME! And as always, if you found value in this blog, please share and comment! I appreciate you!

I am reading a great book right now called The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks. It’s really giving me some insight on why I tend to stress, especially after big wins in my career.

This weekend, I was sick. And i knew it was all mental. Not only was I sick, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING would go right. I felt like the world was falling apart, and no matter how much I fought against it, my ego was winning the battle in my mind. This came on the heels of the largest sales month my team has ever had, earning a trip for 2 to Paris, and all sorts of highs in November.

I was literally sabotaging myself. I knew it, my mentors knew it, but I just had to pull myself out of it. And it wasn’t happening.

So I did what I could for business for a few days and when those seemed fruitless, I picked up my book again, and I also picked up a favorite – the Tao te Ching. Between clarity on how we sabotage ourselves after great success because we feel we are unworthy, and some sage advice from the Tao to just let it go, I had a mental moment of “oh F it – let’s get on with this month.” Tuesday rolled around and was much better than Monday, which was a million times better than Sunday.

And then, then there’s today. I went to do an event with no expectations of huge success – I just went and did what I do and put all of my heart into it, and I ended up having fantastic sales in a short 3 hour period. But it’s not just the sales, it was the amazing connections I made with people that morning. Every person I dealt with was wonderful and kind, and the ones that weren’t amazing humans were still pretty damn good ones. I felt truly blessed. I was in a small town called Weston, OR – which is a cute little outpost, literally one block of “town” to the whole place. The building I was in that morning was built in 1909 and had the best energy and structure. When I left, I stopped at a little restaurant to grab lunch and take some time to look up and down the little block of “town.” While I waited for my food, a sweet old man came in and kept joking and flirting with the two women running the joint, and then started to chit chat with me. His name was Frank. At one point I said, “Frank, can I just join you instead of hollering at each other from our separate tables?” He invited me to sit and as we finished our lunches over the next hour we had the best conversation. It was so pleasant to just enjoy the time with him, and enjoy learning the story of his life. What an interesting man he was!

As I left, I checked some emails and voicemails and had received a new order, and information that my new 2015 Benz is going to be arriving SOON, and at a closer dealership than I thought. The drive back through the rolling wheat fields was beautiful, and when I got home I took a quick minute or so to organize and clean up and headed out for an appointment. At the appointment, which I was very willing to pay full price and cash for – my friend asked if she could just swap for product. Certainly! Wow – I got to keep more of the money that I hadn’t even expected to make this morning!

What’s my point? Just go with the flow. I know this, and I’ve been in and out of the flow before, and sometimes I fall out of it. And that’s ok too. It’s a rhythm and I can only keep improving myself so that the peaks of the wave become much longer than the valleys.

Here’s my favorite section of the Tao. It truly brings me peace. I hope you enjoy it as well:
#44

Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success or failure: which is more destructive?

If you look to others for fulfillment,
You will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.

I already know it makes me feel better. I already know it primes me for a great day. I already have read lots of reasons why I should, but yet I have not cemented a daily practice. I think because I expect myself to sit down for 30 minutes right away. My new expectation- 10 minutes every morning and night. I can do ten minutes.

So, if you want to improve at something, your best course of action is to teach it. So I’ve compiled my top 15 reasons why I will meditate daily from now on. I have 5 health reasons, 5 happiness and well-being, and five performance related reasons.

I loved a line by Emma Seppala, PhD – she says, it’s quite simply mental hygiene. It’s like keeping your house clean, but this is your insides.

So here they are in no order of importance, because it’s all important.

For my Health:

It significantly reduces stress and anxiety. I tend to be a worst case scenario person, and I’ve been making huge steps in changing that mindset, but it takes true vigilance. I know that when I maintain this positive habit, those negative feelings creep in less. I ended up in a hospital 2 years ago because of a panic attack I misread as a heart attack.

It will keep me healthy and ward off pesky ailments. Studies show that mindfulness meditation can decrease symptoms of the cold and flu by 50%. Even without reading tons of medical journals, I have observed that my more self aware friends who have a meditation practice are virtually never sick. While those that seem to let more chaos lead their life are sick way more often!

I will be more focused and aware of my body, and be able to prevent strain and injury during workouts. Even by slowing down and not rushing, I won’t be tempted to be sloppy while doing strenuous tasks, (because there is no such thing as multi-tasking).

For my Happiness and Well-being

So that I can love more fully and be loved more fully. Studies show that compassion for others, for oneself and the capacity to receive compassion from others improves with meditation.

Because when you give more, you get more. By praying (I consider meditation to be prayer) for the well-being of others, we draw well-being to ourselves. Even just over 9 weeks, you can increase your experiences of positive emotions.

When I become mindful of myself and my ego, I will err less on the side of my ego in my relationships, my marriage, my friendships. I can focus on healthy, loving transactions and keep my not-self from inflicting chaos and suffering.

So that I can believe there is ENOUGH. My beliefs that I don’t have enough money or time are the same as believing there is not enough love – they are all the same. It’s a sign of my lack of faith in God’s abundance and meditation/prayer brings me closer to His abundant Love.

So I can feel gratitude down into every cell of my body, and be able to share that Love and Faith with everyone I encounter. When I am mindful of my moods and my negative emotions, I can keep them from effecting others negatively.

To Be MORE and DO MORE:

I used to believe in multi-tasking. I prided myself on my ability to multi task. And it ends up I was just a chicken with its head cut off running around in circles. As I have learned to slow down, what I DO is more effective and produces better results. Mindfulness meditation will further this growth.

Because being mindful will allow me to say what I mean, and mean what I say, to do things more quickly without being waylaid by random thoughts and rabbit holes in my brain. Meditation will allow me to communicate more effectively with others. In essence, by slowing down, I can speed up!

This is going to be a quick one, because tomorrow I’m expanding on health and mindset and how they fit in together. Obviously I have some learning, or relearning to do because I set my own trap this time.

About 2 weeks ago I read some information about how meditating helps us to heal and maintain good health, and I totally believe this. However, I have been slack about keeping up with a daily practice of meditation. Oh how the mind wanders…Last week I found a recording I particularly liked and set the intention of doing it every day for a week straight. I felt amazing, I felt centered. I talked to a friend one day that was sick, yet again and I remembered that used to be sick all the time every winter, and I have not been for almost 2 years. I get the occasional bug still, but they used to take me out and down for weeks. Now whenever I feel sick I take a day to rest and typically recover right away. I had this little thought in the back of my mind – thank God I take better care of myself, that I changed my lifestyle, that I am becoming aware – I don’t even get sick any longer because of my good habits.

Hubris. And vanity. And mindlessness. Because the next three days I was so busy in life I failed to meditate. And then I did what you should never do…I thought about the what ifs. What you think about comes about, and I thought, goodness, I’ll start getting sick again if I don’t get back into it. BAM, next morning. Sore throat, body aches. I’ve been napping all day on and off and missed Holiday Barrel tasting and a friend’s birthday party I was really looking forward to.

I’m not saying I got sick because I didn’t meditate, but I am saying that I need to think about this more and research a little more. Because I kinda feel like I did the mental equivalent of walking under a ladder or breaking a mirror with that silly thought train I went on.

I got a sweet text from a friend today saying, sorry I forgot to wish you happy birthday! Hmmm, I’m a June baby! Next line of the text was – happy Director Birthday!!!

Oh yah! Wow! 3 years. My how they have flown by….three years….

Three years ago on December 1, I because a Director with my company. After 10 months in the industry, I was already in the top percentile. It took hard work, and it took dedication. It took staying up to learn when I was tired, and it took a lot of coaching. I got a lot of support and cheering and gentle correcting from my mentors, and I know without them I would not be where I am today. I’m so ready to do that for someone else – to let them succeed and feel this amazing pride and joy in building their own business.

It’s kinda crazy when you think about it. In February 2011 I started. And then in December I was flown to LA to celebrate my promotion and the promotion of our team to National level. I think at that point I wasn’t even sure what I was doing yet! Shortly thereafter I quit my job and started to pursue this full time. I had an office job for a while to help stabilize income, and to let me have a normal working schedule instead of the crazy retail hours I used to work.

In 2012 we bought our first house, and we have the most beautiful garden (there’s a picture below). I love tulips and it’s covered in them! Late summer in 2012 I earned a cruise to the Bahamas which we took in February of 2013. I also became a Senior Director by promoting out a Director from my family.

In spring of 2013 I earned a trip to New York City and we stayed at an incredible hotel right on Times Square, the Marriott Marquis. At this time, I quit the second job and went 100% self employed. And in fall of 2013 I earned a trip for myself AND my husband to go to the Dominican Republic (we went in April 2014)- we had to have him apply for a passport – he’d never left the country before (Ok Canada, but that doesn’t count). Sprinkle in some trips to Dallas, a trip to Anchorage to visit my parents, a trip to Vegas (first time and NOT the last), and that was quite an exciting year!

And the years just get better! We kicked off 2014 with a trip to Hawaii with our family! This year I have broken my sales records 3 times, I earned the title of Number 1 Senior Director in the entire company, I earned a Mercedes Benz (it’s gonna get delivered this month – it’s a 2015!!!!!) I can’t WAIT to drive it! And I just earned a trip to Paris (for two) and we’re just mapping out where else we will go when we are in Europe, because when the company pays for you to stay on the Champs Elysees and pays for your tickets there, you better bet your sweet ass I’m gonna spend my money on more travel!!! I almost can’t believe this incredible life I have built, but I can, because I’m doing what it takes to make it happen, and I know exactly what I need to do.

Are you coachable? Are you looking for more? if you are, let me know what you are looking for. I want to share this lifestyle with more people – help someone else get unstuck from the daily grind. I’m enjoying life, and now I want to pass it forward.

Here’s a few pics from my trip down memory lane. Happy Birthday to me!!!

Our new house

Glacier hopping in Alaska, and fun night in Vegas with my Michael.

Bahamas cruising! So fun!

At a Luau with my sister in Waikiki

Eating my first slice of NYC pizza, and our view of Times Square from our hotel

The moment before I claimed title to #1!

Gosh, I can’t wait to update this post with a picture of my shiny red new car!

I’m a crazy cat lady. Actually, my husband and I are both crazy cat people. We started with one each that we brought into our relationship and have lost both of our original babies, and somehow over the last year ended up with 3 cats. I’m not really writing about cats. The cats are a vehicle for the message, so be patient.

We lost an old cat to age and disease and went to the local shelter to donate all his old meds. While there we decided to “browse” the kitty section. HA! You know what happens when you browse the kitty section? They offer you two for one. Michael immediately picked up a little black kitty, who was of course adorable and purring and playful and wouldn’t put him down for the rest of the afternoon. They bonded immediately.

I took a look around and after playing with several cats, decided I really liked the style of this monster of a cat – the largest cat I’d ever seen and he was sitting half in and half out of the cat door leading to the outside play area, blocking everyone else from having fun. What a guy. Obstinate and funny. He had a squinty eye like John Wayne does while glaring at bad guys atop his steed. He was aloof too. Mine! All mine! Gimme that cat!

So we bring him home and named him Caesar. He’s as tall as my knees and his paws are about half the size of my palm. He’s HUGE. And while cats do take a while to get acclimated to each other and figure out the balance of the pack, this guy didn’t even try. He just sat in the garage all the time and would only come in to eat. He’s about 3.5 years old and had been a Tom until he was at the shelter for 2 months, so I guess he wasn’t social in his younger years. The middle cat (the one that had been in our house longest) would spat at him and hiss and chase him around every time he tried to come inside even though he is easily 2 times his size. I couldn’t figure out if he was chicken shit, or just didn’t want to put in the effort. He always curled up in the back corner of our garage and would stay there unless he was eating or the other thing that cats do.

Finally when it started to get cold, I decided to give him a bed. I found an old comforter that I folded up and put in his corner and for the first time, that cat showed appreciation. He even purred. He stomped down into a comfy spot and then wouldn’t leave that spot except to eat or the other thing that cats do.

2-3 months in the territorial fighting stopped. 3.5 months in, every once in a blue moon Caesar would come inside to lay on the living room floor in a sunny spot and I would throw him a toy. You should see this big boy with toys. He is SO HAPPY to have a toy. I hate to compare my cat to a human orphan, but his eyes weren’t much different than a child that received his first toy. But still, no love, no affection. Still won’t sit on our furniture, still won’t sit in your lap. Just reaaaaalllly happy about his toys.

3 weeks ago he got into one hell of a fight with another cat down the way, during the middle of freezing rain. When he came inside, scratched and bleeding and muddy and soaking wet, he let me towel him off, but went back to skulk in the garage.

Fast forward to two days ago (about 5 months since we got him), and I walked into the living room and he was laying BELLY UP on our love seat. Laying there sleeping away like he hadn’t slept in years. I pet him, I loved on him and he purred his ass off. It was crazy. I had to take a photo and send it to my husband. Unreal! Then last night, as I’m sitting on the love seat reading email and wasting time, he comes running up and jumps right onto my lap. Again – unreal! After all this time…and here we are, he’s finally part of the family.

Which got me thinking. I’m not the most patient person in the world. I don’t wait for a lot of things. But I’d given up on this guy ever bonding with us, and just gave him space. Sometimes, things (and people) might just take a while to come around to our love and affection. Sometimes, I can’t make it happen or force it, and all I can do is be patient. It’s the lesson of my life – I swear God put me here to learn patience. Maybe I’m finally getting somewhere.

Here’s Caesar this morning. Curled up with the little black cat we got the same day. (You’ll have to ask me for his name, it’s hilarious).