January, 2009

B.J. Penn’s camp has filed a formal complaint with the Nevada State Athletic Commission over Vaseline that was allegedly rubbed on Georges St. Pierre’s back between rounds one and two. UFC president Dana White said at the post-fight press conference that he was aware of the complaint, and said he personally witnessed members of the commission take the Vaseline away from GSP’s camp and rebuke them in the Octagon between rounds.

"I saw the commission jump up there and flip out," said Dana White. "They said one of the guys was rubbing Vaseline on Georges’ back in between rounds. It was one and two, I think."

"The guys from the athletic commission went up there and started screaming at them, knocked the Vaseline and kicked the Vaseline out of the Octagon."

White added that "some Vaseline on a guy’s back didn’t change the outcome of that fight, but you don’t do it," and said the blame should fall on the cornerman responsible and not GSP.

"If a guy was intentionally putting Vaseline on a guy’s back, he should never corner a mixed martial arts fight again."

As for what becomes of the complaint now, White said it’s out of his hands.

"Who knows. That’s up to the commission."

Update: A member of Penn’s entourage tells Fighters Only that GSP came out for round two "covered in Vaseline," adding that the "“whole [of Penn’s] team is pissed off."

The MGM Grand Garden Arena is sold out for tonight’s event, leaving lonely men to wander the casino floor and mutter hopeless pleas for spare tickets. But you, you lucky bastards, have this liveblog. It’s as elusive as Lyoto Machida, as much of a chick magnet as Georges St. Pierre, and as steeped in straight-up, gangsta realness as Nate Diaz.

We’re going to get started with the prelims at about 5 pm PST, so if you don’t want to ruin the undercard results for yourself, tread carefully. Otherwise, hop on and enjoy the ride. Remember to hit refresh often. But before we get started, how about helping us out with a Digg. Thanks. You’re the best.

Upon first hearing this story of the genesis of the best intro ritual in all of MMA – I speak now, of course, of the Buffer Turn – and learning that it came about by accident, I admit I was stunned. That’s like learning that the invention of the telephone was all just a screw-up, or that For Whom The Bell Tolls was written on cocktail napkins during a three-day drinking bender. How can something so beautiful be the product of mere happenstance?

But it’s true, fight fans. The Buffer Turn (and please, can’t we all call it that? Buffer 180 sounds like a skateboard trick) may have been an accident, but it’s part of our lives now. And thank God for that.

All this, and more, in Raw Vegas‘s talk with the man behind the microphone. You may be asking yourself: does he ever take off that suit? To which he would reply: does Superman take off his cape? Not while he’s working. And as long as he’s talking, Buffer is working, son.

This is a Pepsi commercial that will air during the Super Bowl. From the looks of it, the goal is to show that each generation continues doing things that previous generations before them did, like drinking Pepsi!

Gina Carano comes in around the 0:18 mark, right after Bruce Lee. Before you get too worked up about the comparison, remember that this fun little SAT analogy game started by going from Bob Dylan to will.i.am, as if to prove that this generation is more superficial than every other one. Still, MMA fighter in a Super Bowl ad. Hooray.

The MGM Grand Garden Arena was a packed house for this afternoon’s UFC 94 weigh-ins. Every fighter made weight, some after taking full advantage of the extra pound allowance for non-title bouts.

Akihiro Gono got the crowd’s attention when he showed up in zebra shorts and an enormous Afro wig. As a show of good sportsmanship before the staredown he offered the Afro wig to Jon Fitch, who accepted it and put it on his own head for the photo op.

B.J. Penn clocked in at a very svelte 168 pounds, just in case you forgot this wasn’t his natural weight class, while Georges St. Pierre was an even 170.

Said GSP after the weigh-in: “I’ve never been so excited for a fight. I’ve never wanted to win so bad. Tomorrow night, don’t blink. It’s going to be a great fight.”

As for Penn, he said simply: "I’m ready. I have nothing else to say. Let’s fight."

The most intense moment of the weigh-in occurred when Clay Guida and Nate Diaz finally came face to face. A fired up Guida worked the crowd into a frenzy first, while Diaz came out to a chorus of boos second. After both men made weight, Guida got right in the taller man’s face. Diaz, naturally, continued mean-mugging Guida all the way off the stage. Because for the Diaz brothers, it’s always personal.

We called up Joe Rogan earlier this week hoping to shoot the bull about tomorrow’s UFC card. Instead, we got a full education about humanity’s impending peak point, the thievery of war, Ashton Kutcher, and psychedelic Internet dance-porn. But that’s how it goes with Joe, whether you’re listening to his stand-up comedy CDs or watching him explain things to Mike Goldberg during UFC broadcasts — not only are you entertained, but you actually feel smarter afterwards. Of course, he did run down the GSP/Penn matchup for us, as well as share stories about his early days with the UFC and fill us in on his upcoming comedy special. So read on and be enlightened…

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CAGEPOTATO.COM: I saw on your website that you did some standup gigs in Austin, Texas last weekend. How would you compare the Austin crowd to the Dublin crowd you played to the week before? JOE ROGAN: They’re both great in different ways. Ireland is a lot like England — they really appreciate American standup comedy over there. I don’t know what it is about American comedy and the U.K., but it seems to work. I’ve even met a few American expatriates who live over there and do standup. But Dublin was great, and the fans in Austin are always awesome — it’s one of my favorite places ever.

Out of curiosity, is it possible to score good weed in Ireland? Not good weed. No. You can get passable weed. Unfortunately for the Irish, marijuana is just as illegal as heroin or cocaine or anything else. I believe the way they prosecute it is by how much the drug is worth, rather than how dangerous or harmful to society it is.

I just got your last comedy CD Shiny Happy Jihad, and in the liner notes it says “All together in 2012.” What’s going to happen in 2012? That’s like the million dollar question, right there. Who knows what’s going to happen. I’m not a scientist, or an archeologist, or a futurist, so for me it’s more fun than anything. But the idea behind it, according to people who take it very seriously, whether they’re the people who decipher the Mayan calendar, or the Terrence McKennas of the world — there’s a guy named Terrence McKenna who actually created a mathematical algorithm that predicted what he called “waves of novelty,” meaning human innovation throughout time and history, and he believed that what we do as human beings, as far as creating new things like the wheel or matches or the Internet, that what we’re doing is part of a mathematical program. Meaning that we are doing something that you can actually track with mathematics. And his algorithm showed that human innovation is pre-destined. It’s just what we do, like bees make beehives, ants make anthills — human beings make technology. We change our environment, we alter things. And that eventually we were going to reach a peak point, or a point of what they call “ultimate novelty,” and that this is going to be a moment where something is invented, something happens, that changes the world as we know it.

Today is my lucky day, Potato Nation. Here I am in Vegas for UFC 94, and it’s the grand opening of the Tito Ortiz Punishment MMA Store. What are the odds!? Even better, the store is conveniently located inside the Hooters Hotel and Casino across from the MGM Grand, where the fights will take place tomorrow night, so naturally I had to drop in and see what kind of sweet Team Punishment gear I could pick up.

The store itself is tiny, and filled with exactly the kinds of clothes you’d expect. Almost every t-shirt featured either a fist or chains, sometimes a combination of both. Despite today being the grand opening, however, I was the only person in the store. Well, aside from the three teenage girls working there, who were all fairly brimming with excitement (see below).

MMA Mania says the UFC has 7-2 Rick Story (just think of the nickname possibilities, such as "Bedtime" or "Cinderella") waiting in the wings to step in as a replacement for Parisyan if needed. It would be Story’s first UFC appearance, though he does have a couple of quality wins against guys like Brandon Melendez and Jake Ellenberger under his belt, so he’s no chump.

But if Parisyan really does pull out on extremely short notice again, you’d have to think that would spell the end of his UFC career. The fact that the UFC is worried enough about it to have a replacement on hand is already a sign of their complete lack of faith in him.

On the flip side, it also means that expectations are so low all he really has to do to exceed them is step in the Octagon on Satuday night without freaking out. This is one of those few times in life where just showing up is enough, much like your wedding day. And the creeping sense of dread and regret that follows? You can just push that way down in your subconscious for years until it finally boils to the surface. So come on, Karo. Keep it together.