"There are certain emotional reactions that happen that you cannot control. Now, real quickly, that does not mean I lose it and hit people. … I can control my behavioral response, but I cannot control my emotional reaction up to the point where I’m aware. If I’m in danger of feeling like I’m going to get hurt, my body will react, and then I’m aware of my reactions. We’ve got to cut ourselves some slack, and we really have to cut our spouses some slack."

Recall and focus on positive events:

"Negative events are more powerful and easier to recall because protection comes first. … We need to put forth some effort and list our positive events. List the things that are important to us and the positive attributes that go with those. You keep focusing on them, you keep looking for them."

Take ownership and share with Heavenly Father:

“Have you told Heavenly Father what’s going on? … Why? He’s all-knowing. He knows it already. ... I think that’s part of taking ownership. And we have that additional resource.”

"Find something you enjoy doing. Find ways to reduce your stress. ... We plan our schedule around our hobby, not the other way around. We don’t let it detract from family; family comes first. But you have to plan it. It’s not just going to happen. ... Find what works for you. The key is you don’t want to overschedule your lives, but I think we don’t plan for things that give us the best chance, that will make us successful in our relationships."

Get regular exercise:

"When people exercise regularly, what happens to their resting heart rate? It goes down. At a certain heart rate, we hit fight or flight. If my resting heart rate is lower, I have more heart beats to give before I hit fight or flight. So if I’m regularly exercising, my resting heart rate will go down. I have less stress, but I also have more room, my window of tolerance is wider. ...That allows us to moderate our response. It will still happen, we can’t stop that, but if we have more heartbeats to give, it’s less likely to cause a problem.

Manage your sleep:

"Sleep is as important, if not more important than exercise. ... Naps can help fill in the gap, but you need a good eight hours."

"If we have good sleep, we can reappraise negative emotions, reframe them or make them look different. … We can accurately perceive them better if we had good sleep. Sleep deprivation leads to being less likely to remember positive events."