[Coconuts Lounge] The ‘NUT has for many years put up the biggest real Christmas tree they can fit in the bar. We have 10 foot ceiling so we try to find a10 footer. We did. That baby is right to the ceiling and it makes you feel some Christmas getting on you, that’s the plan.

There is a story behind our Christmas trees. To keep it short the ‘NUT supports many local charities, our food bank is one of them. We post a note asking anyone that would like to help to pin a buck or two on the tree. We take the money off the tree every night (it is a bar you know).

Over the Christmas season all the money that’s collected is matched by the ‘NUT and given to the Methodist Church to help with their food bank program. It’s a win, win. Our customer’s get to help and the ‘NUT gets to do some service work and the food bank is very happy. We all feel a little better for helping. Now that is a win, win. Merry Christmas . ~The ‘NUT.

[Don’t Be a Lemming] Sociology 101 teaches us that man is a herd animal, prolonged separation from the group is frustrating to him. Any well seasoned bartender or other observer who has watched human behavior for some time can usually classify what particular herd group a person belongs too in just a mere glance or a few choice words out of that persons mouth. Not only that, they also can pretty much predict that persons behavior or responses to certain stimuli, especially if they can detect which hand the person favors of using to write with. Social geniuses can manipulate people with their words almost like puppets on a string.

In this day and age of con jobs and interactions with other humans going terribly wrong, one must keep their wits about them or wind up dead, imprisoned, hospitalized or permanently handicapped in some fashion which will make the remaining of one’s life (if they survive) pretty miserable indeed, not to mention those around them and those who would have to take care of them.

In order to keep one’s wit’s about them, their body needs to remain in a pristine healthy state, with all the nutrients, vitamins, fuel, rest, stability, temperature, security, emotional and other needs adequately provided for and constantly maintained consistently throughout one’s entire life. What a lot of young people mistakenly take themselves for Supermen, thinking that anything they do or ingest into their bodies won’t have a adverse affect in the short term or long term.

I have had friends and family members waste their lives away and are now either vegetables (burnouts) or have died much earlier than they should have. One cousin who actually finally wised up and turned his life around, got married and moved to the country to live a clean life, suddenly got struck dead by Hepatitis he contacted when he was younger drug user sharing needles. He started out using pot in grade school and because it numbed his mind and reasoning ability, made him careless and paranoid, like pot does. So instead of quitting, he graduated to stronger forms of drugs when pot alone wasn’t doing enough for him anymore.

Another friend was into racing his motorbike on the freeways, zipping between cars, taking corners dropped on one knee much like racing bikers do. He wound up going off a cliff, spending several agonizing years in the hospital before finally dying.

Another friend was heavily into drinking, smoking pot and cigarettes, thought that by staying away from the “hard stuff” was going to just fine and he would live a long life like his dad did. Turned out he died at a ripe old age of 42 from respiratory diseases, his body was tired out from fighting the other poisons, of THC, nicotine and alcohol constantly that it didn’t have enough left to fight off a simple infection. Also because he was intoxicated all the time, his mental ability was hampered so he didn’t get medical attention until it was too late.

Another ex-druggie cousin of mine is spending the rest of his life sitting in a old tiny hotel room converted into welfare housing, a mindless vegetable where several sets of state people have to come around daily and move him from bed to bath to chair and hand feed him. They use diapers, so he sits in his own filth for many hours of the day, he gets fed from a big bottle of pureed leftovers from the previous days meals. He cries quite a lot they say.

The stories I can mention about those who went off to prison, only to be stabbed, killed or get some sort of permanent disability due to the physically harsh environment (all concrete and steel) plus attacks by other inmates could fill a book.

One has to carefully think before they do anything or socialize with those who are either doing bad things either to others or themselves, because even if one does it once and there was no ill effects, doesn’t mean that’s always going to be the case. It’s better to be alone, pure and free, than join the group of intoxicated lemmings headed for the cliff to die.

Raccoons play an integral part in our ecosystem. They eat wasps, scorpions, red ants, roaches, centipedes and are basically vegetarians. They will keep the house rats at bay. Raccoons are not an invasive species. They do a darn good job and don’t get the credit they deserve. There are no cases of rabies in the Florida Keys except for one in Homestead many years ago. So you have to coon proof your garbage pails from coons and stray dogs — minor inconvenience compared to all the good they do and I’m sure Waste Management appreciates your efforts too.

I joined the Moose when I moved here in 1997, went for Mooseburgers weekly & played pool. I had to quit the Moose because of the cigarette smoke, which gets pretty intense in the bar area. Every time I return as someone’s guest, I am sorry I went. It will probably be different 30 years from now, but I won’t be here to see it.

[Boat Parade] The editorial by Steve Estes in last week’s Barometer announced that the lighted boat parade is cancelled for this year because of not being able to use Parrotdise as their base of operation. Let’s hope it’s on for next year – it’s always a great time, and the time involved by everyone is appreciated.

I want to wish some past neighbors a wonderful holiday season and a prosperous new year. These folks all will know who I mean from the first names… Candy, Kevin, David & Nancy, and Julie & Kevin. I will remember all the fun we had at CP and the friends you were all along. God bless and keep you all.

The Anti Drug Task Force is about to arrest some well known Big Pine residents, your going to be surprised. I think they are waiting till after Christmas for the big bust.

Newly-elected county commissioner Danny Kohlege has managed to get his aide hired on at a starting salary higher than the maximum allowable for the position. It sure didn’t take “Mr. Integrity” very long to learn to game the system, did it?

Any failure of the students is more likely due to the nonperformance of their parents than to teacher nonperformance. And you want to know the best part? Parental participation doesn’t cost the taxpayers anything, it’s totally free.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

I wrote a few weeks ago about watching out for the sheriff-elect’s family and what happens. His sister, who is fighting for electricity on No Name, is named to the Keys Energy board in replacing who — our own out going sheriff Peryam. Does anyone else smell a rat? Take that Keys residence for voting for the wrong man. You deserve what you get. So now I predict that big development is coming and there is nothing we can do about it. It will be just like the Blvd project, out of area contractors and out of area workers. The only people who prosper from development are the developers, the rest of us get the crumbs and crummy jobs. The Keys today are not like they were yesterday and the are certainly not like they will be in the near future.

The sheriff elect said he would not retaliate on those in the dept who ran against him. Yeah right! That’s why Peteck was smart enough to retire in order to run. The politics is much deeper in the sheriffs office then most of you little people realize.

[Man Walks All Day to Create Spectacular Snow Patterns] Artist Simon Beck must really love the cold weather! Along the frozen lakes of Savoie, France, he spends days plodding through the snow in snowshoes, creating these sensational patterns of snow art. Working for 5-9 hours a day, each final piece is typically the size of three soccer fields. The geometric forms range in mathematical patterns and shapes that create stunning, sometimes 3D, designs when viewed from higher levels. How long these magnificent geometric forms survive is completely dependent on the weather. Beck designs and redesigns the patterns as new snow falls, sometimes unable to finish a piece due to significant overnight accumulations. Link

Turn signals are standard equipment, meaning they are there for a reason. Use them!

Avoid the traffic and shop local. RadioShack on Big Pine has remote control boats, cars and trucks plus helicopters and planes. They also have Tablets like the new iPad, iPad mini, iPods and the new Kindle Fire HD. Plus you can get all your cell phone needs like the iPhone 5 or Samsung Galaxy from both ATT and Sprint. Save money and jobs by supporting your local family owned businesses. Happy Holidays!

America is in mourning, and we all wonder why, Did those precious young children have to suffer and die. We mourn for their parents, the horrible news that they were told, That their children have gone, never again to love, hug, and hold. We grieve for their families, with Christmas so near. We worry about their classmates, so shaken with fear. This tragedy shocked the President, The world watched Obama cry, Well he wasn’t alone, because so didn’t I.

If your boss makes you take a pee test and you fail, urine trouble!

[Children School Slaughter] Obviously we need these heavy duty large capacity weapons to protect us from Obama who is on the verge of enslaving us to the United Nations. Come on all you nut jobs, chime in on this one. I know, if those kids were packing heat they could have dropped the nut. I don’t know about the rest of you goofballs, but I only need one shot for one kill.

I will counter your pretty beach scene with this picture from the north. Every bit as nice.

[Big Pine boat parade mix up] I might not be correct but, the article in the barometer was written by the husband and the note on CT was written by the wife. I guess time will tell who wears the pants in that family. In the meantime, is it on or off? (Ed: Off.)

Merry Christmas to all you amateur electricians! This is cool unless you live next door. It looks like the house is jumping. The guy that owns this house lives north of Cincinnati, Ohio. Police were constantly being called for traffic jams and accidents in the neighborhood so they asked him to shut it down during certain hours. Instead he started charging by car load to pay off duty police to be there.. The guy is supposedly a real computer geek. Link

[Kiddie Slaughter] “The ‘suspect’ may have had a personality disorder.” This just in from both the politically correct and obvious depts. If he’s dead by his own hand with the only two weapons in a gun free zone, he no longer qualifies as “suspect”, he’s now “the murderer”. Personality disorder? Gee, ya think?

[Le Arf!] Montreal bylaw requires dogs understand commands in both official languages. This is great. Human immigrants can speak in foreign tongue and not the language of their residence country. But dogs must be bilingual.

“Sorry Rover, Fido can not come out to play. He is in foreign language school.”

Where do people come up with this stuff?

It’s kind of scary to read that the County Sewer System is being built by the lowest bidders.

[“Whatever Happened to Steve Howe”] Steve Howe was forced to stop living on his property about 5 or 6 yr. by the County because he was basically living in the woods without proper sanitation, even tho the property belonged to him & his daughter. He had no septic system, not even a cesspit. He moved to his now deceased mother’s home and, along with his older sister, still lives on the mainland. I usually phone him on his birthday, just to say hi.

My friend got hearing aids from Costco, and they drove him crazy, he returned them. I liked them because he could hear the attitude in his own voice for the first time, but he said he couldn’t stand hearing his foot steps and himself fart.

Raptors are an endangered species. Hawks love to eat birds, especially ground feeding birds. They have also been known to take a fawn down. They sometimes eat kittens and Chihuahuas. They love eating rabbits. You are right. Small cats should not be near an endangered species such as a raptor.

[The Movies] In 1938’s The Citadel two doctors were having lunch and the lung specialist throws his lighted cigarette on the floor and the other doctor lights his pipe and tosses his match on the floor too. Times have surely changed.

[Talk to the Hand] Warm and comfortable capacitive-touch gloves with a Bluetooth headset built in! Talk on the phone by extending your thumb and pinky-finger.

[Kiddie Slaughter] I just heard that the Jersey guy who killed all those children in the primary school in Connecticut was actually raised in that area and his mother was one of the victims–matricide! I can’t even imagine the anguish of those mothers that lost their child. I think he meant to kill them too! In a minute your World can be turn upside down. How do we reconcile this with any spiritual philosophy? And it happens over and over again, all around this world, some of it coming from USA Drones raining hellfire from above on innocent families. Maybe there is Karma to be paid, but we don’t learn.

A great tour of the ISS orbital laboratory (with a lot of pop up ads) but a great tour! Link

[Cats get a bum rap] What they are not telling you. In the fall 10,000 raptors, not counting vultures pass thru the Florida Keys. The Hawks are still around this month. They are a protected species. All hawks and owls are federally protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. These laws strictly prohibit the capture, killing, or possession of hawks or owls without special permit. They eat snakes, birds, rabbits and peoples’ small pets. Here you can watch a red tailed hawk eating a rabbit. Link

I’m trying to get into the Christmas sprit, but the damn bottle won’t open!

[Brief CT] I’m one of the few who figured out how to open Thursday’s edition before you made the correction… Genius, I’m not, I just gave it a go and clicked on the date… the rest is history!

[Captain Doom and Gloom] Computer hint: never ever use another person’s mdm(?) in their house, either wired or wifi, unless you are 100% certain they know everything about resetting their user name and password. If you crash their connection and they are computer illiterate, you will suffer severely forever! Bet on it!

As far as the Welfare problem is concerned, the answer is simple; the people that work should all get second jobs so the people that don’t work can concentrate on making more babies.

[Sophomoric] The repeated user of the word sophomoric really believes that the content of a post doesn’t reflect on the poster? Nice try Professor Pedantic, but it shows you think you are superior to the immature and judgment-lacking contributor. My limited intelligence has concluded that you another condescending liberal bore. But I could be mistaken; your flowery prose may have nothing to do with your actual character. You may be just “one of the guys (or gals)” down here.

The coolest bicycle ever.

Don’t forget CheapShots will be doing free 3-year rabies vaccines for dogs and cats this weekend from Key West to Marathon. Other services available. Call 305-390-0325 or go to www.cheapshots.us for times and locations.

Leak of the Second Order Draft of AR5 (the next IPCC report). –whatever that means?. Link

[Sophomoric] The fellow pointed out my proclivity to using the word ‘sophomoric” on this site, now Sir, my question to you pertains to the post made by a fellow on this site that stated Gov. spending= more money=making more people able to purchase things, making us rich. Now, please sir, lets leave our biases behind for a moment. I believe you are no doubt a very decent individual and certainly blessed with your fair share of brain cells, but can’t we agree that perhaps this formula would fit the definition of sophomoric?

Way is it that if you are the victim of a crime you get to pay all your medical bills, but if you are the perp, the Government does?

Where’s FTR. Get him back here now!

[A lesson in irony] The food stamp program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever to 46 million people.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” The stated reason for the policy is “The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”

Thus, ends today’s lesson in irony.

I certainly would hate to see Susan Rice commit suicide, she is no doubt a nice lady, unfortunately the poor lady was in over her head in a post she never was qualified for , she is by no means alone in this comparison as this administration is riddled with such incompetents, fortunately we still have sources and people that are willing to root out these misplaced individuals for if they are left to their own devices they have great potential to do great harm to our country and cost the tax payer a huge amount of money.

From the Right

(Ed: FTR will be indisposed for a few more days, but he will be back!)

NO NAME KEY

[Developers] Is it true that one of the people fighting grid power on NNK is only a part time US Citizen?

[No Name Key Power] As a young man in the late 60’s I had my first opportunity to buy some land here on Big Pine Key. It was common knowledge that there was no power on NNK and the canal lots behind SeaCenter were never going to be opened. At 18 years of age I understood “never” and “due diligence”. There were many stories to the contrary, mostly by the sellers. To all you Piners out there have a Blessed and very Merry Christmas

[Electric] I told Alicia Putney day before yesterday, again, that to represent the “Solar Community” on No Name Key, she needs to live there all the time, which she does not now do. In the summer, she heads for Canada. I did not turn on my air conditioning this year, because I wanted to see if I could live without for a summer. It was hot and sweaty, I ran floor fans for about six months, but I did it in a single-wide, hot trailer. So I know the folks on No Name Key can do it in their bigger homes.

I never said there was an original planned solar community for No Name Key. I never thought there was. I thought it just sort of happened. People moved out there because they didn’t want to live on the grid. I don’t remember being called a moron by No Name Key pro-gridders before now. They have enjoyed calling me The Fool on Little Torch. Is being a moron a promotion or a demotion?

Whatever, I still see zero evidence that Monroe County ever told anyone who built a home on No Name Key, which was permitted by the County as off the grid, that some day the home would be on the grid. To the contrary, I now see blatant indisputable evidence that a No Name Key homeower was told the island going on the grid was a political matter, which the County Commission would have to decide.

All along, I have seen blatant indisputable evidence that all homeowners on No Name Key, whether they built or bought an existing home out there, wanted to live off the grid, because if they had not wanted to live off the grid, they would have built or bought where they could be on the grid. I have not heard or read of one pro-grid No Name Key homeowner being forced to buy or build a home on No Name Key. The authority No Name Key pro-grid homeowners need to raise hell with is themselves who threw themselves under the bus, which was Commissioner Sylvia Murphy’s point at the recent County Commission meeting.

Not to worry, it was made abundantly clear at the Commission meeting that Commissioners George Neugent, David Rice and Danny Kohlage, and perhaps Commissioner Caruthers also, will do their best to let the pro-grid No Name Key homeowners tie into Keys Energy’s lines via a change to the County’s Comprehensive Plan. That might take a couple of years, but that’s how County Attorney Bob Shillinger wants it done, to avoid the problem of the County having contracted with the pro-gridders for legislation by taking their offer to settle in exchange for changing the Comp Plan. Shillinger said at the Commission meeting that contracting for legislation is illegal.

I told someone in the know day before yesterday, who does not live on No Name Key or work for the County, that Shillinger’s method still will be contracting for legislation, because it came about after the County was offered a settlement by pro-grid No Name Key homeowners, to the effect they would cease litigating against the County, or would not litigate against the County, if the County agreed to amend its Comp Plan to allow the pro-grid homeowners to tie into Keys Energy’s lines. Back where I went to law school and clerked for a federal judge and then practiced law, retrograde as Alabama was and still is in many respects, state and federal courts looked at substance and ignored form. Meaning, you can call a pig a cow, but it’s still a pig. In the No Name Key Comp Plan change situation, substitute deer for cow, but it’s still porkified Keys politics – a pig pretending to be a deer. I imagine that pretending pig will be litigated by Alicia Putney for a very long time.

The person in the know told me what new Commissioner Danny Kohlage really said when he opined at the Commission meeting that he did not want to see half a million dollars in electric infrastructure to be torn down and removed, which the pro-grid homeowners had already paid to have installed and would have to pay the cost of removing it … what Danny really said was Keys homeowners can build unpermitted additions to their home, and when the County finds the unpermitted improvements, the home owners can say they are entitled to the same treatment the pro-grid homeowners on No Name Key got.

Closer to the bone, the County tossing out its own Comp Plan for a noisy remote area off the grid opens the door for all other noisy remote areas off the grid to clamor for the same treatment, which clamor I can’t see the Florida courts ignoring once that door is opened. But then, that’s been the mantra all along: Development is more important than anything in the Keys. That’s why Brad and Beth Vickry bought a home on No Name Key. They needed that legal standing to clamor for Keys Engergy electricity and Aqueduct Authority water to be brought out there, so they could proceed with their plans to develop other parts of the Key. According to Steve Estes, Publish and Editor of the News-Barometer on Big Pine Key, not long after Brad and Beth bought their home on No Name Key, Brad had the old quarry nearby listed on his California Real Estate Company’s website as property with development potential.

Of course, the pro-grid No Name Key homeowners do not agree with any of that, nor do they care what unintended consequences were set into motion when, at their loud urging, the County Commission told Bob Shillinger to file the Declaratory Judgment action in the Florida courts, after I told them not to file it. I’m viewed as insane, so anything I say to do or not do, the sane route is to do just the opposite. Sorry to have I caused this problem, which would be hysterically hilarious, if it were not so dreadfully awful. I’m starting to wish I never heard of No Name Key. Alas, as most people who live out there have seen me write and/or have heard me say, I have a covenant with God about doing all I can to preserve what is left of this part of the Keys from development. Any moron knows electrifying homes on No Name Key with Keys Energy power will lead to further development out there. The only question is, when?