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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Life...

There is so much that goes on in my life and so many things I could blog about that trying to pick just one leaves me overwhelmed and then I don't do it. And then all of you (my HUGE wonderful audience) would continue to miss out on the entertainment of my thoughts! LOL! So, I guess this will be my attempt at documenting some of the craziness in my life.

Let's see. First I have to boot Spaz off my keyboard, AGAIN just so I can type. The crazy cat thinks he has to be in my face when it is least convenient to me. Guess that goes to follow the saying of, "Dogs have owners. Cats have Staff."

I mowed the back lawn today after working an 11 hour day. It was overcast and starting to sprinkle. About half way through, it started to rain a little bit more and the stupid thing ran out of gas... Mean while I am thinking that I am officially a Northwest resident- I am mowing my lawn in the rain! So, I refilled the gas tank and finished mowing the lawn as it began to pour down more. And then, just as I finished, it stopped raining.... Figures!

So while we are on the subject of being a Northwest resident, I have picked up a few of what some people would consider less desirable traits... No, I did not stop bathing. Yes, I still take a shower daily and I am not one of the people in Washington state that contributes to being the lowest consumption of personal hygiene products (soap and shampoo).

The first thing to go was shaving... I still do it once in a while, but I have to feel like it or be to the point of being really groused out by it to finally shave. And then it is still only to my knees. Who started this whole thing of shaving legs and arm pits, anyway? Subjecting myself to razor burn and ingrown hair is not my idea of fun or glamorous. Maybe I was born in the wrong time and place when it comes to that particular "grooming" practice. So, everyone else can deal with it. I will wear my knee highs with skirts on Sundays to hide the hair on my legs and shirts that don't expose my arm pits. But to me, it is all about my comfort. :P (But I still pluck my facial hair!)

Next thing to go was make-up. Again, who started that??? To me it is a colossal waste of time. I will still wear it if we are going some place nice, for pictures, and church. But that is about it. No more wearing make-up to work for me. I need sleep! Now instead of taking 90 mins to get ready for work in the morning, I am down to 30 mins from rolling out of bed to walking out the door. Let me tell you how liberating it is! I am not the make-up. And guess what? People still like me. They still talk to me and take me seriously. They still respect me. And I have also found that I still respect myself as well.

The "no wearing make-up" started when Will and I were attending the Temple every Saturday morning. We were getting up so early and I was so grumpy with all the time spent trying to get my make-up just right and my hair just right and then worrying about my make-up running the whole time I was there. Add to that my allergies, and I was paying more attention to my discomfort from running mascara and how I looked than to what I could be learning. So, that was the start of the absence of make-up! I got so much more out of it once I decided to no longer wear it. And it eventually trickled over to my daily life. Some times I will still have a little nag from that voice in my head that tells me that I have to be "all put together", but for the most part, I tell her to put a sock in it.

OK, that is enough for tonight. I am tired and have another crazy busy day tomorrow. Work at 5:30... Kimmy is coming for a visit (unless I need to call and change the train tickets for her a 4th time and she decides not to come). JJ has 2 hours of gymnastics and have to check him out of school for that. Hoping to find something fun to show Kimmy while she is here (again, providing she actually comes). Then have to work really early for a couple hours on Friday and then more time with Kimmy before she has to go back to the train station.

Waiting!

Hatchlings

"I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money. You can keep the change!"

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Disclaimers

Disclaimer #1

Some of my views and feelings expressed are due to having dealt with some very challenging relationships lately. Namely, having had 2 foster daughters for the past 3 years and having loved them and wanting so badly to make a positive difference in their lives.

After realizing that I have done all that I can do and admitting that it is time to "let them go", there is a measure of hurt and bitterness that I am working through. I need time to heal and to figure out how to deal with the feelings and emotions that I am left with.

Some of my posts are not going to be very uplifting and some will be down right uncomfortable to read. I recognize how difficult it is to be a part of peoples lives who struggle with depression. It is exhausting and not something that "refills ones cup."

My intentions in blogging are not to bring anyone down or suck them into my, sometimes depressing thoughts. I am not looking for a pity party or for people to suck dry.

For this new chapter in my life, I need to work on me and my family and strengthening who we are as individuals and a family unit. And most importantly, building our relationship with our Heavenly Father. I want to be a better person.

I hope that by being able to reflect on my feelings in blogging, I can heal and maybe somehow help someone else who has been through similar challenges/experiences to move forward and overcome their trials. I also recognize that in this, there may be others who have had experiences that can be shared with me to give me hope and encouragement. - I welcome your comments either way.

Disclaimer #2

If you have not read any or some of the Twilight series books and have a desire to and don't want to spoil anything, you might want to use caution in reading some of my posts that look like they are related to my feelings on the books.

I don't intend to spoil any of that reading experience for anyone. It has been a wonderful fantasy world and escape for me - a HUGE blessing for me to be able to think on these fictional people so that I could function "through the motions" of my life.FYI!Squirty Wart is a nick name my father gave me when I was little. I always hated it. In looking to protect myself and family from online preditors, it has become a very convenient name for me to use and it has actually grown on me. ;)