Category Archives: Inane Thoughts

And because what I do here probably can’t be considered sane. This is an ongoing change that purely reflects the changes in my writing, my way or writing, and what I intend to focus on. It’s not that ESWR just wasn’t ‘good enough’. But as my previous post mentions, this place is going through an overhaul, sooner rather than later, and this is the first of a number of planned changes.

… although it is a start, nonetheless. Allow me to explain. Admittedly, there is still no improvement on the employment front, which in part was the focus of my leaving. In all other senses, however, things aren’t so bad. Okay, so I haven’t done half of the things I intended to do, but all the same, things aren’t terrible right about now. In fact, things haven’t been terrible for a while – unfortunately, Rootkits happen to be some of the most annoying things known to man, and just about as soon as I got my laptop up and running, yep, one of the damned things burrowed itself so far into my system it was a factory reset. Which kind of left me stumped.

Now, my laptop appears to be on the straight and narrow again (that has no bearing on the paranoia I experience every time I log on, though), and I have an awful lot of books to go through in the next few months … and of course, my first draft of Free Fall is still sitting in a box file under my bed, waiting to be edited.

So Happy New Year, everyone! Thank you all so much for bearing with me – this place will be back up and running before you know it, hopefully without a plethora of absences this time. Coming soon: a number of book reviews and fanfiction-related rambling.

I’m sure it’s been pretty obvious that I haven’t been keeping up with blogging during the past month, and naturally, the main reason for that has been NaNoWriMo. However, it’s not only that. Ignoring my word count for a second, things have been a little more hectic here than I might have hoped, and I haven’t been able to find much to blog about in between, so I guess it’s just that I find it more practical to announce a short hiatus than to post one or two entries this month of mostly bad quality, or that don’t make sense.

I’m looking at entering this year’s NaNo Novel into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award for one thing, so whatever time isn’t taken up with Christmas-related activities (of which I still have a long list to do) and the ongoing search for a job that doesn’t even exist yet, I’ll most likely be editing. And I’ll try to drop a line stating how this is going. The other reason why I’ve decided to take a short leave now of all times is far more personal and I won’t bore you with it, seeing as how I’m no closer to finding a solution, and doubt that I will be any time soon. But the official word is that I’ll be back to blogging in January. Back with a vengeance, hopefully back on form, and maybe even back with a job.

So first and foremost, my apologies for this; honestly, it must look as though it’s been a long time coming, given my abysmal blogging performance this year. Secondly, thank you to everyone who has followed, commented, and supported me thus far – I’m terrible at keeping up, but I can’t tell you enough how much I really do appreciate it. And I can’t thank you enough either. So I really, truly am sorry for doing this right now. I just think it’s what I need and what the blog as a whole needs given everything that’s been happening.

So for now, this is goodbye, but not for long at all. And again, a huge thank you. And if I don’t poke my head around the door at the right time of year; merry Christmas to all of you. And I hope you all have the most excellent New Year.

I look forward to seeing you all again with fresh ideas, and more importantly, a fresh outlook on life. =)

Never run a quick Google search of your central character’s name. You may get more than you bargained for.

I only have myself, and my own curiosity to blame, of course, but the results were both frightening and amusing. One result I don’t even want to think about. The rest have simply caused some excessive reevaluation of whether or not I should actually keep the name.

Naturally, I’m going to indulge in a little story. I was looking through my blog’s stats for the day, redirects, search terms and the like, and one in particular caught my eye; someone appeared to have searched for the name ‘Jannah Reid’ and had been directed to my blog. This seemed all fine and good; it could be someone I know who either knows about said character or Where Jackals Lie. Fine. I’ve had stranger hits (someone searching for ‘Patrick Bateman Lifestyle’ for example. My blog is on the third page of Google’s search results which is a little unnerving) although at the same time, this caused the initial question of whether or not the name was too unoriginal. Being a curious creature, I typed the name into Google for myself.

Aside from some social networking profiles belonging to a woman who is actually called Jannah Reid, and a few posts of my own on the NaNoWriMo forums, the rest were, predominantly, adult websites … or so I can only assume from the link descriptions. I didn’t think it wise to go much further than this. I don’t want to see up-skirt photographs of someone named ‘Jannah Reid’ who I don’t even know. I also don’t like the odds of AVG blocking out so many viruses, thank you very much.

And so, here we have a kind of identity crisis. Not for me, but for Jannah; do I risk keeping the name, thus damning her to be likened to a porn star without my consent? Admittedly, she was intended to be the femme fatale. I don’t believe these are entirely one in the same, however. On the other hand, there was never meant to be a clear-cut connection to begin with; the name was, simply, one I liked the sound of. Shallow and such, but ultimately, this was what it came down to. There is also the prospect that, through establishing her as a character, that no connections will be made … or at least, very few of them. And of course, here we come back to the self-indulgence, the idea that she will even become an established character, which is doubtful.

It is quite amusing to consider, though. Embarrassing search results, spam, redirects … as long as the legal and, to an extent, ethical implications remain out of the way, and as long as my computer doesn’t somehow degrade from the inside because of them, I guess laughing is the best way in which to handle it.

Work. No, I’m not talking about the job market I am so inclined to complain about, but simply there being a suspicious lack of work here.

On the plus side, I find myself having increasingly more to say, and now that the school year has started up again, an increasing amount of time in which to say it. Whether or not this is actually a good thing is down to you; the pointless jabbering of a waster might not seem all that illustrious at all. It is fun though.

Anyway, by work, I do mean things other than posts about writing. But, that’s normal for a writing blog! Yes, of course, but both my Excerpts & Short Stories, and my Book Reviews sections are seeming a little neglected at present. The Excerpts & Short Stories more than the Books Reviews, of course, as I am taking a little time to write more reviews at present. Perhaps it is a certain lack of conviction that holds me back from submitting anything else. Perhaps it is a lack of direction.

Pointless musing, really, and a small feeling of guilt that perhaps I should try harder in this respect. It’s one thing to constantly write about writing, and quite another to actually write.

The subject of A Level results has hardly been downplayed this year, irrespective of anything and everything that has gone on pertaining to Higher Education (I’m sure we all know what I’m talking about here).

I’m not going to University this year. The exact reasons behind it are not so much complicated as many, and my next step was to, essentially, start claiming Job Seekers Allowance while steering myself towards the bleak, desolate land otherwise known as the current job market.

Results day has left me utterly confused. While desperately wanting that A Grade in English Language and Literature, I never thought I would get it. Hence why I didn’t even try to entertain the prospect of getting into University – admittedly, not all of my grades reach the same standard, however, there is one that makes me wish I’d have studied it sooner. Made different choices. Hindsight would be a wonderful thing, I suppose. I got the grade, by the way.

Now that I’ve gained a little more confidence in my ability (that I have always, always put down to a lack of application that yields surprising results – I didn’t focus throughout my GCSEs, and my A Level track record has been … shabby at best) I am forced to consider that perhaps I should put it to use of some kind. No, I do not consider myself gifted, talented, or particularly special in any way. I just have this unfortunate habit of fragmenting my grades to the point of not being able to take them anywhere – A Levels, half A Levels (left behind at AS), and underpinning it all is one undeniable fact: I’m nineteen, twenty next year, I need to broaden my horizons. That, and I cannot think of any conceivable way in which to afford an education next year. This is before transport is thrown into the equation.

Essentially, this entry is most likely pointless, forgettable, and possibly unreadable. Mostly it is the acknowledgment of something I am proud of, and other things I am not so proud of, and the sudden questions and possibilities they pose. In fact, writing this has been nothing short of simply raising my hands and proclaiming ‘I’m lost’.

Oh, how stupid of me. After my last entry, my intention was to update weekly with longer posts, with some shorter posts dotted in between. How unfortunate, then, that I actually forgot to post anything yesterday for a start … and even then couldn’t think of anything to write about.

Therefore, I have single-handedly dealt a killing blow. Does that mean I’m giving up? Of course not. It just means I got tangled up in all sorts of other things … sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Some of it was. I wouldn’t call jumping in the rat race to try and find a job too exciting, though. Frustrating, yes. Not exciting.

Now, however, I do have some idea on what to ramble on about. Coming soon to a hopeless blog near you.