There is nothing pathetic about grieving for a dear friend, Dillonious. Or about looking for answers.

It does sound like it was Karma's time and that you made the decision from the heart with Karma's best interests in mind. Karma couldn't ask for more than that. You gave her a great gift by easing the way for her. So no more guilty feelings, okay? Karma wants you to be happy.

__________________
"We are--each of us--dying; it's how we live in the meantime that makes the difference."

"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!"

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

I'm so sorry for your loss. The one thing I can promise you is that no one here will judge your grief. At one time or another, we've all lost a beloved pet and understand the pain you're experiencing. In a few weeks time, I'm coming up on the anniversary of my Ares's death. I know the sadness and the guilt you feel. By letting Karma go, you've released her from her pain.