I realized the other day that I am spitting range of 30. We are not talking a stone’s throw of a couple of years. Oh. No. Try months, people. It’s one of those landmarks in a person’s life that makes one sit back and take stock. Forty may be the new 30 but when you get to 30 it’s still ..well… 30. I can’t say I’m entirely sad to be leaving my 20’s behind. I did a lot of learning in them. A lot of painful learning. A good deal of really fabulous stuff happened as well ( see: husband and son) during this past decade. But overall this past decade has been a might bit bumpy for my tastes.

The hard part of getting to this age and being where I am is that while I’m happy in my life I feel like I’m still waiting. For what you may ask. Good Question! I have no idea. But I’ve felt this way my entire life thus far. When I was a kid I was waiting to be an adult. When I was in high school I was waiting to be out. When I was in college I was still waiting to feel like an adult. Here I am at 30, still tapping my toe, checking my watch, and wondering when the hell this show is going to get on the road.

I know all the rhetoric about life being a journey and not letting it pass you by and you are the only one who can things started for yourself. I know these things. This does not change the face that I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. None. It doesn’t seem like life is going to pause for a moment, let me catch my breath, and decide. I need to find a point. Good thing this is nothing new for me.

Hi. I’m back. Where to begin…..so yeah. We no longer live in Lubbock. That trip lasted 7 months and then job went “hey, so yeah, we need you to move here” and we went ” where?” and looked at the even smaller dot on the large map of Texas.

Now we live in Midland. Mighty mighty Midland.

And then there were 3. Of us. Tookie ( ie: our kid) joined the team in December of last year.

And then we bought a house. Well, we are buying a house. Anyone know how to get that awful popcorn stuff off a ceiling? If you need me I’ll be on a ladder for the next couple of months.

Anyway – I think that brings us all up to speed. Hopefully now that I have actual internet access I will actually post more than once every 2 years. Here’s hoping!

There are two paths you can take the night before your life changes forever. You can try to go to sleep and pretend that although you have to get up early in the morning – life goes on as normal. OR you can go out and live it up with your friends understanding that no matter how tired you body may actually be your mind will not let go of the fact that as of tomorrow your life will no longer EVER be the same. If you take a gander at the time stamp on this post you will notice that I have chosen the latter of the two.

I have not turned into a big sobbing puddle of goo on the floor ……yet. This is because while I am leaving my people behind, I actually get to be with my person as of tomorrow. But I’m not that far away from going plasma. I have never lived over 300 miles away from where I was born – translation: I’ve never lived outside of Louisiana. And 27 years (almost 28, but whose counting really?) in one place can give you time to grow some mighty deep roots.

People keep telling me this is going to be such a big adventure. Of course these are the same people who were born and bred here and have never bothered to go elsewhere either and this is not happening to them. My heart hurts. I don’t have a lot of friends but the ones I do have here are real and true. I hate leaving that behind. Them behind. I’m not saying Louisiana is a great place to live – although, people, when it comes to food – well, I won’t get into it. There are plenty of places a lot more spiffy – I can probably come up with at least 3 dozen right off the top of my head. But those aren’t the places where I can call CP on any random night and count on some grub time at the Waffel Haus. Or know that a ride to the beach with AM is only a phone call and a stop at the circular K away. Or that on any given day the requests of “target?” or “coffee shop” will be greeted with “but of course” from the impeccable Tabby. It’s not this place – It’s them. All of them. I miss them already and I’m not even on the road yet. So I won’t be sleeping tonight.

1)Do you think Isabelle of Castile referred to Ferdinand of Aragon as Ferdy in the privacy of their chambers? (Why, yes, I did just realize that my spiffy new antenna on my TV catches PBS – what makes you ask?)

2)What would the world be like if everyone knew the pet names our spouses/significant others call us?

3)I have no idea where the name Bun came from. It just seems to have sprung up in the coming and going of our daily lives together. We have postulated it came to him from my great love of coffee and all things coffee ( like our Bunn- o-matic coffee maker) or other my great love of all things Calvin and Hobbes ( Susie carries around a stuffed rabbit named Mr. Bun – a stretch I know). My own theory is that my husband makes up words all the time – and at some point some cutie sound evolved into the name Bun and here we are today with a blog and shit.

4)I honestly don’t mind being called Bun – as I have never cared for my first name. Funny thing is I know when D calls me Casey – I’m in trouble. This is a very effective system.

5)Does anyone out there have nickname/pet name that they prefer to their real name?

On my own – again. D-man is off in nevernever land going through orentation. woo. hoo.( I hate it when he is gone – thus the current fence I happen to be riding)
The plan, as it currently stands, if for D and our stuff to move at the end of May with me following at some point. At some point is where things get a bit on the sticky side.
I finish school at the end of July. So the earliest I could possibly get out there is Aug. But here’s the deal. I want to pay off all my debt before I get out there and start living on the kindness of my husband. No, I do not plan to get a job right away. I have worked 1-3 jobs and/or gone to school since I was 16. I deserve a bit of a break. But I need money to be able to do that. So short of some rich relative, who I don’t know (obviously), dropping off the face of the earth and leaving me an large sum of money – I need to stay here and save some up.
The problem is, of course, apathy. It’s very had to care about a job/life that you know is not only not forever but has a definate cut off date. Hard to keep your head in the game when you know for a fact the final outcome. Yar. Good News – bonus check this year rocked! So I will be able to pay good chunk of debt off. Bad News – it just makes me want to get out of here all the more quickly.

Has anyone in my very limited readership ever moved to an apartment after finding it on the internet and renting it sight unseen? Am I completely stupid for thinking about doing this?

I think I’ve found one that I like. It meets all our requirements for things that we need in a good apartment. But even so it’s in a city that I know nothing about. So I know nothing about the location. I have read (online of course) that as long as you stay on the west side of this city you should be a-ok but still. The apartment comes in on the right side of our rental budget and the community seems to have a lot of amenities we would like to have.

Have I lost my mind or is this something not too unusual a part of a long move in this day and age?

God created man and woman and he saw it was good. And somewhere along the line – thousandsof years later – their genes eventually spawned me. And on a whole different part of that particular line – think same forest (ie: human) totally different tree (ie:that’s pretty much where the similarity ends) – it spawned D-man, my husband. We meet and get hitched. Whether god thinks its good is still up in the air but hey, we’re happy.

So after many ok a few short years of riding the academia express to poordom D-man decided they he was tired of that nonsense and ready to enter the big bad world of corporate America. After a few interviews and a few more hoops ( think preforming tigers in the circus flaming kind of hoops) we have – wait for it wait for it – A JOB!

So job said “Yes Mr. D we will be glad to hire you and pay you this much money”

we said “Great!”

Job said “oh yeah, you will also have to move to here”

we said “where?”

Job said “here” and took out a rather large map of Texas

we grabbed a magnifying glass and “eh”

So that pretty much brings us to where we are today – on edge of a very large move from somewhere I know very well to a place neither of us has actually ever been to.

3)I hate my first name but I can’t think of anything else that fits me …so I guess I’m kinda stuck

4) my favorite color is orange…..but I would never make anyone wear orange….so no bridesmaids were harmed in the making of this post

5) I have had many boyfriends but only one love of my life…luckily I’m still with him – sucker actually married me

6) Was made an honest woman by the loveable D on Nov 25th 2005

7)I have been to England and South Korea….I can’t wait to go somewhere else

8) I would like to see everywhere before I die and live in at least one other country

9)My spelling is horrable, it implies that I am dumber than I am

10)I was a tomboy growing up

11) I still am

12)I went to boarding school my last two years in High School….I loved it

13) I hated the city that my high school was in….if i never have to go back it will be too soon

14) My parents are still married and it is their first marriage …so woohoo for them.

15) I was born when they had been married for 3 years…I am the most planned human being on the face of the earth

16) I have one sister that was stillborn …her name is Kimberly….I’ve often wonder what she would have been like

17) I just started getting along with my baby brother

18) My baby sister and I still don’t get along…..she is in that angsty pre-teen stage and it drives me nuts

19)My parents were going to name me Elizabeth…until my Great-grandfather made a joke about calling me Lazy-butt….to my mom….when she was 8 months pregnate…..this was not a good move…thanks Grandpa

20) So they named me Casey…after the chick who played piano at their wedding…a women I never met….boy do I feel like a thank you gift

21)I have a very a weird sense of humor……I like my humor dry and witty….but really goofy things will strike my as funny also

22) D makes me laugh all the time

23) My mother’s side of the family is huge…..I have 14 first cousins, 4 aunts and uncles, one great-grandmother, one grandmother, 4 great-uncles, 4 great-aunts, and 10 first cousin’s once removed….and these are just the ppl who show up for Christmas and Thanksgiving…..Family reunions are a whole different story.

27)When I was in Kindergarden I wanted to be either a farmer or an artist

28) I don’t want to be either of those things anymore

29) I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up…..except happy…I would really like to be happy.

30)My toe nails are always painted…..I never paint my finger nails

31) The only year I made straight A’s all year long was in 6th grade….and I only rememeber this because I got an award for it

32) I hate math but am actually not bad at it….unless it deals in the abstract …then I suck at it big time

33) I never learned how to type until I got a job where I had to type all day…..I still am pretty slow

34) I have no problems cursing out loud, in public, what have you……I still have a hard time cursing here though

35) My degree is in Psychology….originally I wanted to be a thrapist…then I wanted to be a researcher…then I wanted to work in human resources….once I figured out I didn’t want to do any of this I was two semesters from graduation

36) If I find something unintresting I skim to the good parts……no doubt like you are doing right now

37) My favorite memory of Christmas was when we would go shopping for the gifts we would give to toys for tots…..I didn’t even care that I wasn’t going to get the gifts…I still got to go shopping and spend lots of money

38) Christmas in our house was always a big deal

39) The thought of spending any holiday alone makes me very very sad

40) My favorite holiday is Valentine’s Day…….I buy into the card and candy thing totally…..I don’t mind being exploited in the name of love

41) My Ex and I would fight about V-day every year…..He only got it right once……but that once did mean a lot to me

42) My Ex hated families……I hated that about him

43) D loves families and V-day……..this makes me very happy

44) I work in the computer industry …but all I have at home is a dial up

45) I can’t afford anything better than dial up…..sad that

46) The last time I moved half of the boxes were filled with books

47) My college apt was a hole in the wall…but it had 9′ celings and hardwood floors and I got to paint the walls any color I wanted…..it was a hole with esthics…thus making all the difference

48) I started college at Loyola in NO

49) I transfered to LSU after my first year…..I hated living in NO

50) I actually got online after work…at home…on my rinky dink dial up and commenced typing this list to be sure it was ready in time…..now that’s commetment baby

51) I didn’t want to go to LSU when I was in HS because it was in my hometown

52) I was really happy at LSU

53) I was really afraid I would never meet someone and fall in love……I really didn’t want to be the crazy old cat lady

54) I will proabably end up being the crazy old cat lady anyway

55) D and I both like both cats and dogs…though I think we both lean more toward cats

56) My wisdom teeth were extracted last year…..so for the life of me I can’t figure out why my gums back there still ache sometimes….wasn’t that the whole point???

57) I stayed with my Grandmother and Great-grandmother while I was recovering from surgery last year……they loved it and almost wouldn’t let me go home

58) My Great-grandmother is the coolest person I have ever known……I want to be just like her

59) I wish cable TV would come out with a package that just consisted of PBS, A&E, TLC, The History Channel, The Discovery Channel and the local channels …I would buy that

60) I will never have Digital Cable or Satallite TV……I don’t need 200 channels of NOTHING to watch

61) My favorite authors are Florence King and Orson Scott Card

62) I love going to the theater…I mean the real theater…not movies

63) I would never want to be a actor……talking infront of more than 5 people causes my face to turn bright red….and then I start to studder….can’t have insult without injury

64) Working backstage as props mistress, stage manager, or set designer would be really cool…..but only if I could do it for fun and not a job

65) I started this blog because I was tired of being a lurker and comments are not always the most appopriate place to spout off ones opinions

66) I lurk in most blogs I read…..I only make comments if I really have something to say or the writer askes for an opinion

67) My mother thinks I’m completely insane from time to time……that’s proabably a good thing

68) My father is the most grounded, unobservant person I know……this dicotamy completely baffels me

69) this number still makes me giggle…..I’m a dork

70) I know what the technical definition of a dork is……once again I’m a dork

71) D is five years older than me…..I was still in middle school when he started college…..this also makes me giggle

72) My best friend in elementry school would only talk to me when the popular kids weren’t around…that did a number on my self esteam

73) I was in GT all through elementary and middle school…..and it’s a load of crap

74) GT is the last place any middle schooler wants to be…..might as well have lined us up in front of a firing squad…..cause that’s the only way they could have singled us out more

75) I took Band in middle school because I was too shy to change for PE in front of the other girls

76) I’m actually still really shy……..I just fake being outgoing really well

77) I don’t like going out to bars…..or anywhere crowded and noisy

76) I’m muchos glad to be out of my teens where I felt like if I wasn’t out on Fri or Sat night I was a complete loser

77) I have embraced the loser in me…….besides if I do laundry on Sat night I don’t go spend money I don’t have

78) I would kill for an actual laundry room in my house…..I hate having to go to the laundry mat

79) that movie 40 Days was a load of crap….I have never met anyone as remotely good looking as Josh Hartnet in the laundry mat

80) If you have actually made it this far down the list I am completely impressed

81) D does most of the house work…..I do dishes and laundry……cause I despise vaccuming more than I do laundry

82) My favorite eye color is green…..I have brown eyes

83) I am really bad at saving money….it burns I tell you…. burns!

84) I now own 5 dresses…which is the largest number of dresses I have ever owned at any one time….in my entire life

85) My mother didn’t wear any dresses at all for the first two years of my life…she thinks that’s why I didn’t like to wear them growing up

86) I think it had more to do with the possability of boys looking up my skirt

87) My Ex always wanted me to dress up nice …but he would never take me anywhere (like a date) that made me feel like I had a reason to dress up

88) I dress up for D just because..(mostly because he doen’t push the issue and complaments me everyday…no matter what I’m wearing)

89) My friends think I’m funny….I think they are off their rockers

90) I am so happy this list is almost over with

91) I drive a car that is older than dirt…and I love my car

92) My dream car would be a 4-Runner……light blue…..sunroof…..V8……anyone wishing to donate one to the Make the Casey Happy Foundation please just leave a comment and I will get back to you

93) I drive 100 miles everyday to work and back

94) I love the radio station that reads books for the blind and visually hadicapped …..I listen to it every day on my way home

95) My job usually only makes me cry once a month or so……which I think means I need a new job

96) My favorite show from growing up was Northern Exposure

97) I love getting socks and underware for Easter……its so much better than actually having to buy them yourself

98) The last paper I ever wrote in HS almost made me threw my computer through my window…I was 2 paragraphs away from being done…the compressor in my dorm fridge kicked on and my montor went to scrambled eggs (bad wiring)…I hadn’t saved the last two pages…..I cryed the whole time I retyped the damn thing…I thought about this just now because this was the year a graduated in