Hot Cross Bun in the Oven

A baby! My goodness, I feel like these words have been coming for a lifetime and now that they are finally here, able to be said out loud, feels almost unreal.

But, it’s true. We are here, in this moment, announcing that our little family of two is now going to be a family of three. We’re nervous, scared and over-the-moon with joy. You can be all those things at once, right?

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How we got here:

Do we share more or do we keep it inside? That’s the feeling that’s plagued me over the last year or so. Ironically, for owning a food blog, I’m a pretty private person. Oversharing, unless to my besties and family, isn’t really my thing.

You won’t find status updates on my personal Facebook page, my Instagram is packed with food (not selfies), and it took me almost 3 years of writing like a robot to actually share real details of my life. It’s not a bad or a good thing- just a thing. Part of my personality, of who I am.

So, when BL and I were riding the emotional rollercoaster of fertility for the past year, I didn’t feel any need to share. It was our thing, a personal event that felt safest closest to our hearts and only shared after a few glasses of wine with friends. We didn’t feel any shame in our struggle, just not a desire to talk about it. Talking about things makes it real, and we were focused on moving onward and forward. I don’t dwell too much in things I can’t change, and wanting to get pregnant and then not, is a hard thing to change.

The crazy thing about sharing is that it makes you feel less alone. And, on the road of infertility, alone is a pretty common place. Even after just dropping a hint or two, I received emails and texts from friends who were in the same boat. Quietly in the background, harboring their story, but not quite sure how to share. You don’t even need many words, a hug, an ‘I understand your pain’ is sometimes all that it takes. So, I’m putting my brave face on and sharing. Maybe our story makes you feel less alone or maybe you can identify with this journey. Either way, I see you and I’m here for you.

We found out I was pregnant two days before we were scheduled for IVF orientation. Two days. That’s gotta be some kind of divine intervention, right? In hindsight, I probably could have tested a lot sooner than I did. I could barely keep food down at that point, needing to take breaks often, thanks to waves of nausea and sickness. But, there’s magic in not knowing. Not knowing isn’t definite and, crazy as it sounds, not knowing felt more hopeful than actually knowing.

POSITIVE. So positive. I had barely finished taking the test before two bright blue lines popped up. I think time stood still for 5 whole minutes before I summoned BL into the bathroom to see. Here. we. go.

Until we saw our little teddy bear on the screen at 7 weeks, I didn’t believe it was real. Sadly, we’d been here a few times before. Pregnant, then not pregnant. The gut-wrenching pain of saying goodbye to something you never really knew, the possibility of what could have been. I honestly didn’t think I could handle the experience again, so I ignored what was happening. Sure, I took my prenatal and mustered up the energy to force food down, but we didn’t talk about it. It wouldn’t let it be real until we moved past those first key milestones.

It’s real. There’s a baby in there, a beautiful baby that we can’t wait to meet this September. Sure, I’m still nervous sometimes, freaking out with every unusual feeling and ‘Is this normal?’ moment. I’ve been told that all soon-to-be mommas feel this way, so I’m rolling with the punches.

Currently:

Entering the second trimester felt like a giant right-of-passage. I know the statistics like the back of my hand and this felt like a major milestone. We could tell people! I could finally admit that my need to wear yoga clothes at every possible gathering was because nothing else fits. This belly is a baby.

I’m planning on sharing some first-trimester essentials in a separate post, but for now, things are really good. I can still nap at the drop of a hat, but food sounds good again. How come when you are supposed to be nurturing another life, you don’t want anything but bread, bagels, crackers and cheese?

So, let’s celebrate! With more bread. Hot Cross Buns (in the oven). Since carbohydrates have been my #1 food group since New Year’s, it felt only fitting to tell you in a recipe comprised of bread topped with icing.

These buns are good, like I’ll have a third good. Fluffy, chewy and perfectly spiced. Don’t mind that I slathered my buns with extra icing before eating, I’m eating desserts for two of us after all. I think I subsisted on these buns for a week straight; the perfect first-food of the morning when nothing else sounds good but you know you need to settle the stomach.

Not pregnant? Don’t worry, these buns are still a delicious addition to any Spring breakfast or gathering.

What now?

Well, that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Like most soon-to-be parents, BL and I know how much life is going to change come September, but we are likely naive about exactly how much.

We’ve got an ambitious to-do list to try and work through before the baby gets here. A little thing called a due date really helps you prioritize and stop procrastinating. We’re crossing off a few last-minute bucket list trips, finishing our house remodel, and trying to get as many work projects done so I can essentially take time off until 2018.

I’m still planning on keeping this site as active as possible, though I’ll likely cut down from 3x a week to 2. I’ll also probably be sharing motherhood updates often, especially as they relate to nutrition. A few years ago, my sister did some guest posts on raising a healthy baby and, even though we were childless at that point, her posts seemed to be enjoyed by a lot of you.

I kinda feel like we are all growing up together. To my friends who are on this same path, let’s help each other. I’ll share meal ideas and thoughts on raising intuitive eaters and you tell me exactly how to navigate everything else. Deal?

Phew. A lot of words, a lot of thoughts, a lot of love. That seems to be the theme these days; I’m an endless vat of emotions. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. Thanks for showing up and sharing this space with me. Thank you for letting me pour my heart out and know that it’s safe to do so.

And, of course, to the mamas who are struggling on this road, either trying to get pregnant or recovering from loss – I’m cheering for you. My wish in sharing our journey is to remind us all that hope is there.

And to those who are not in this space or interested at all- it’s OK. I still promise you lots of plant-based treats and yummy delights. xo

Hot Cross Bun in the Oven

Description

Hot Cross Bun in the Oven! Yup, we’re having a baby. These homemade hot cross buns are the perfect spring breakfast or to serve for Easter and Mother’s Day.

Scale

Ingredients

1 cup plus 1 tablespoon milk

1 package active dry yeast

½ teaspoon granulated sugar

3 ½ –4 cups all-purpose flour

¼ cup light brown sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon ground clove

¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg

½ teaspoon salt

5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

2 large eggs, divided

½ cup currants or raisins

For Glaze

½ cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon milk

Instructions

Scald 1 cup of milk to 100˚F in small pot. Remove from heat and transfer to separate bowl, the sprinkle on yeast and add a pinch of sugar. Stir just to incorporate. Let sit until foamy, approximately 10 minutes.

In a mixer with the paddle attachment, combine flour, spices, granulated sugar and light brown sugar, and salt. Add yeast to flour and mixture until just moistened. Add in melted butter and 1 egg.

Next, change to dough hook attachment and add currents/raisins. Continue to mix on medium speed until dough is smooth and elastic.

Knead dough into ball, then transfer to oiled bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until dough has doubled in size, approximately 60 minutes.

Once dough has doubled in size, punch dough down and divide into 12 equally sized pieces. Once divided, roll pieces into balls, then place on parchment lined baking sheet.

When placing buns on the baking sheet, remember to give them adequate space to rise more. 3 X 4 works well on a normal baking sheet.

Whisk together 1 Tbsp. of milk and remaining 1 egg to make egg wash, brush onto each bun and then cover the entire tray with plastic wrap.

For their second rise, place the buns in another warm place until they have doubled in size, this can take between 30-60 minutes.

While dough is rising, preheat oven to 400 ˚F.

Once buns have doubled in size, take a slightly greased sharp knife, or scoring knife, to slice a cross into the top of them. The cross does not need to be deep.

Bake for approximately 12 minutes or when an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

While buns are baking, mix powdered sugar and milk in a bowl to make glaze. Transfer glaze to pastry bag, squeeze bottle, or plastic bag.

When the buns are done cooking, remove from oven and place on wire rack to cool. Once buns are cool, use glaze to pipe cross over top of score marks.

Did you make this recipe?

About Alex

Alex Caspero is a Registered Dietitian, Plant-Based Chef and Yoga Instructor. She aims to cut through the nutrition noise by providing real-life, nourishing tips for body and mind. Her blog, Delish Knowledge, focuses on making whole-food eating deliciously simple. She lives in St. Louis, MO with her husband, running buddy and taste-tester BL.

If you are interested in personal nutrition coaching, please visit her services page.

Reader Interactions

Comments

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!! I am obviously crying because I cry always, but seriously, I could not be happier for y’all!!!!!!!!!! and ok, a little bit selfishly, I am sad that you having a baby in September means I won’t get to see you at FNCE 🙁 xo!

NO FNCE 🙁 Honestly, that was my fifth thought. No FNCE and no Blog Brulee Alumni! Oh well, just means I’ll have to find a way to get to San Diego with this little bean and play with everyone out there.

This post makes me so incredibly happy for you!! You are going to be the best mama! I can’t wait to keep up with your updates and insight as to what you are learning along the way. Also, this was THE cutest idea of how to share on the blog! I love the ultrasound picture with the buns…my heart is melting.

Congrats! Something you wrote recently about cravings had me thinking you were pregnant. Having gone through infertility, IVF and miscarriage myself, I know that you are feeling so many emotions right now. I have two beautiful boys and despite the trials to get them here, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I am so so happy for you Alex! I know the path getting here hasn’t been easy, but you are a strong woman for going through it, making it to this place, and sharing your story. I hope you continue to have a healthy pregnancy and keep your appetite! I can’t wait to see what’s to come as you enter motherhood!

Alex! I’m SO THRILLED and happy for you! You will be the best mother and your little boy will be so cute. This was a great post – sharing is hard but so impactful and so moving – and helps so many who read it. Gosh it really all is an emotional roller coaster. And it really all is meant to be, you two were meant to be parents. Omgosh and I would LOVE to see some motherhood posts about nutrition! <3

AND I hear ya with the bread, cheese.. and more bread. These buns look amazing – love the baby pic! 😉 So cheers to life changes that are the BEST changes… it's what we are all here on earth for! XOXOOX

YES! And, even better, that we get to do this together! While I’m obviously excited for this new experience for our family, it makes it even more special knowing that we have friends in the same life stage to share with. xo

This is so exciting! Congratulations. I have one child, almost 9, and we’re contemplating another. I’m honestly quite terrified of what is termed secondary infertility and I keep putting it off, because it’s easier to tell people that I might try in the future, than to try and have issues. I send many blessings your way for a healthy and “easy” pregnancy (each woman has her own definition), a good labor and delivery, and a healthy baby and quick postpartum recovery.

Made these today with my 4 yr old (after our goofy FB Live!) I was adding all ingredients when we ran out of all purpose flour! So added one cup of whole wheat pastry flour (and an extra tablespoon of milk) and they still turned out so yummy. Posted a video of Irene kneading on Snapchat. She’s finally got the hang of it! Congrats again to you and BL on your sweet bun in the oven!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! And thank you so much for sharing! My husband and I are in the midst of fertility issues right now. We’ve been trying for almost 9 months and nothing is working. Clomid didn’t work and now I’m on Gonal-F shots and if this doesn’t work, IVF is the next step. This process is so scary and frustrating and confusing and I am just SO happy for you that you have come out the other side and have an amazing new baby to look forward to! Congratulations again– so exciting!!

Hi Chloe, Thanks so much for your comment. I know how difficult this time can be and I hope it works out for you soon. We did a few rounds of IUI/Clomid without any success, and I know those hormonal roller coasters aren’t fun either. Honestly, it can be a really shitty road, and one that’s not talking about too often- which is why I finally decided to share my story. Fertility issues are so, so common and I think that there’s a lot of beauty in sharing the struggle. It allows you to connect and relate, especially on a path that can seem really lonely. Sending you lots of love and support from this corner of the world. xo Alex

Thank you so much! I agree- it is way more common than I realized, but its such a scary and vulnerable time it is hard to publicly share your struggles. I really admire you and feel thankful for your bravery and openness about it. Thanks again and prayers for a strong, healthy baby are being sent up for you!