Monday, 29 October 2012

There are days where I feel like the weight of the World will suffocate me. Times when I find it so hard to do the simplest of things. Moments when I feel like I will never be happy again. And yet, at the same time, I feel terribly guilty. Guilty that someone who has been given so much, could appreciate so little. Ashamed that I struggle with the simplest of things, when others are going through traumatic experiences and dealing with it with perfect childlike trust in God.

But oh...I am so thankful that God sees far beyond my sins and failures, to the person He is creating and shaping me to be! Hebrews 10:14 says, "because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. " This verse gives me so much hope! I have already been made perfect because of Christ, and yet here on earth He is still shaping and creating me into the person He wants me to be!

Yes, there are so many reasons to rejoice! In Christ I am more than a conqueror and nothing can ever separate me from His love. (Romans 8:37-39) I have full assurance that my precious Saviour does not change, but remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) I am secure in Him and know that He will keep me from harm and protect me. (Psalm 121) In Him, I have a refuge and a fortress from the storms of life. (Psalm 91:2)

Rather than God being disappointed with me for being depressed and ungrateful, He longs for me to come and find refuge in the only arms where I will find true rest. His call remains the same, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
Oh, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
Oh, how bright the path grows from day to day,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms?
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarm.
Leaning, leaning, on the everlasting arms!

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Each day I wake up, I have a choice. A choice to start my day with God first, reading His Word, and praying that my day would be used for His glory. Or I can wake up and get overwhelmed by the storms I have to face and forget to cry out to Jesus.

I used to think it wasn't all that important to start the day with a quiet time. I thought as long as I fit it in somewhere it was fine. But now I realize why it is so important. It focuses our minds (that so quickly wander) on the ONLY thing that really matters in this World... God. It helps us to think and acknowledge His sovereignty in our lives and realize that we MUST depend on Him to get through the day and glorify Him!

And then throughout the day, I keep having little choices. Choices to see things that happen in my life from a 'God' perspective or a human perspective. Looking through my human lens, I get overwhelmed very easily. For example, the car that is going so slow in front of me, my favourite cup breaking on the ground, that very ugly red breakout on my face, or the assignment results that get me down, can ruin my day and make me so frustrated. But... when I look through my 'God' lens, and acknowledge that He plans, uses, and is involved in EVERYTHING that happens in my life, and will make it work out for good, all these things start to loose their hold on me. Instead of letting life get me down, I can turn to God time and time again and say, "I don't know what your plan is in this situation, but I trust you to work it out!" All those things, like worry, anger, and frustration, that we feel when life doesn't work out the way we want, starts to become unimportant when we KNOW beyond any doubt that GOD is in complete control. There is such joy and peace in knowing that in Christ we are more than conquerers!

Every moment we have the choice to acknowledge God as Sovereign and trust Him to work it out, or we can wallow in our own misery or self pity. The choice is ours. So what will we do? To trust or not to trust???

Monday, 22 October 2012

I just hate this companion of mine. He crept up on me very slowly, and I never even realized we were friends until.... I realized that he was totally apart of all my life! The name of this friend\enemy is Worry. The worst thing about him is that he completely takes away all my joy and
happiness for today, my hope for tomorrow, and instead replaces it with fear
and self-doubt.

I never really felt worry was a sin until I read a chapter from Jerry Bridges book, "Respectable Sins." In this particular chapter, Bridges says that the opposite of trusting God is worry or anxiety. Bridges also goes on to say that anxiety is sin because "it is a lack of acceptance of God's providence in our lives." I guess this is true, because when I'm not trusting in God, who am I trusting in? Usually myself unfortunately; not a very reliable source of strength!

This reminds me of the old allegory of 'who's driving your car'. As a Christian, I try to relax and let God have the driver's seat. However, so often when I see cars coming my way or hazards in the middle of the road, I find that before I even realize it, I've thrown myself on the wheel, and am yanking and pulling with all my might!!

However, I do believe everyone gets worried from time to time and that is not necessarily sin, but what do we do when we are worried? The Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6). Do we go to God with our worry and trust Him to make, "all things work together for good" (Romans 8:28) or do we look to other things to cope with our worry?

A song that has really impacted me in my quest to fight Worry is "Come to the Well" by Casting Crowns. When I saw them live last year, I got to see the video clip of the 'story' behind the song. (If you haven't seen it, I recommend you go right now and you tube it! It's really great.) In this clip, Mark Hall talks about the woman at the well, and Jesus' claim that those who drink His water will never thirst again. So often though, instead of drinking out of THE Well of life, we drink from other wells; and the thing is... all though these wells offer great promises, we always finish drinking and yet still feel thirsty. The only way to find rest is to drink from THE Well.

Unfortunately, I often forget to go to God with my worry. For example, like today... I must say I've been a jolly good host to this friend\enemy!! I've entertained him all day and worried constantly about one thing or other. It's not even been anything really important, just my typical worries like, will I fail this next assignment, why did I ever bother starting uni if I'm not intelligent enough to finish it, I don't have many friends because I'm so unfriendly.... bla bla bla.

Oh, and the 'wells' I go to always leave me feeling thirstier than ever. Most often I go to depressing music, (which just makes me worried AND depressed) junk food, tv, movies, yeup the works, pretty much just junk food spiritually and physically!

I'm just so thankful that we have a loving and patient God who gently (and sometimes when we are extra stubborn, not so gently!) reminds us which Well we should be drinking from, and who should be in charge in the drivers seat. We serve a wonderful God!

Saturday, 20 October 2012

So, I decided to start a blog :D I have found the last couple of years that the easiest way to sort out my thoughts is to write! I write in a journal at least once (if not multiple times a day!) and I thought I might share with others some of my thoughts that are not too personal.

One thing I am realizing more and more is that I don't need to understand everything that is going on in my life to follow and trust God. In fact, it really isn't necessary for me to understand, but it is VITAL that I trust. A verse which has really impacted me in this is John 21:22. It says, "Jesus answered, ""if I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."" I have found that the second half of this verse jumps out at me every time I read it. I often wonder why life turns out the way it does, and it puzzles me how all the suffering and pain that I, and others have gone through, somehow fits into the big picture. But the fact is, I don't need to understand. God is sovereign and all things are used for His ultimate glory. All that matters is that I obediently follow God down the path He has for me.

Because of the impact this verse has had on my life, and how at this time I feel stronger than ever my need to follow and trust God, whatever journey He takes me on, I decided to use it as the name of my blog.

About Me

My name is Jess. I'm a daughter of the King, studying education and training to be a therapist for children with autism. I have many passions, but my heart is reserved for one. I am more in love with my Saviour everyday!