Monday, December 14, 2009

I had a dream things would be different this year. All knitted gifts would be wrapped up with a pretty bow by October. The house would be clean and tidy and purged by December 1. Gifts bought and wrapped by December 2.

Oh, the best laid plans of mice and me.

I came roaring out of the gate after Thanksgiving. Big, big plans for cleaning and chucking and making straight all the paths. I had two days of beautiful purging when disaster struck: the dreaded stomach bug. Six days, shot. No knitting, no gifting, the end of purging. Lots of lying on the couch napping.

When I got back on my feet again, I was behind. I'm still behind.

It's like this every year. I make my big, big plans, all for naught. I always spend the middle two weeks of December in a mild or acute state of panic. I lie in bed at night making lists of all the things I need to do. I toss and turn.

This year my problems are compounded by the fact my parents are coming for Christmas. On the one hand, they are pretty laid-back customers and don't expect perfection. On the other hand, I want to make things nice for them. For everyone.

Did I mention I'm coming down with a cold?

And did I mention that the pattern for the sweater I'm knitting my dad just sort putters out at the end, leaving me on my own when it comes to the finishing? Yep. Thank goodness for Ravelry and the kind knitters there. I posted my problem in the Sweaters group, and an expert angel figured out what I needed to do and wrote out instructions for me--and they work!

Still, I was supposed to have finished that sweater in October.

So I haven't been blogging much, or visiting blogs, or doing anything except running around doing the next thing and the next. But here's the good news: I decided last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, that I will buy rolls for Christmas Eve dinner instead of making them. You can buy perfectly good ready-to-bake yeast rolls in the freezer section. High-falutin' rolls. Rolls my boys will gobble up and ask for more.

Which is to say, I haven't gone completely insane, at least not yet. Who knows what other projects I'll abandon? What other plans I'll toss into garbage bin?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I'm sad to report that I am giving up on knitting lace once and for all. I have made two attempts (and a hundred attempts within those attempts, if you know what I mean), and they have undone me.

Even sadder, the spiral scarf I knit out of the silk yarn intended for a lace shawl after I'd given up on the lace shawl is a puny, scrawny little thing. No self-respecting neck would be caught dead in its sorry, spirally little grip.

What to think when you've invested significant time, effort and money into a project, only to fail? As a process knitter, I don't begrudge the hours. As a tightwad, I really regret spending the big bucks on the yarn. Do you want it? I'll unravel it and send it to you. It would give me joy to think someone might knit something out it. It's pretty, I'll give it that.

I guess what I'm wondering is who came up with this lace-knitting idea in the first place? Who thought, 'I know, I'll knit something up with yarn like dental floss, do lots of yarn overs and k2tog's and slowly drive myself insane'? Whose great big friggin' bad idea was that?

As for me, I'm going back to socks and sweaters. Knitting that makes sense. Real Woman knitting. Sane person knitting.

About Me

I'm a writer and a stay-at-home mom who keeps meaning to mop the floors because I think it would make me happy if I did. I love books and music and writing, spend entirely too much time in the dentist's chair (I bet I have more crowns than you do), and used to think I was sort of bohemian, but now I wonder. No tattoos. Minivan. That story.