For hundreds
of years dowsers have relied on their trusty twigs to help them seek
out water and other precious commodities.

Dowsing
Cats (Reconstruction)

But for the
first time scientists in London, England have been experimenting with
cats in their quest to find the perfect dowsing tool.

Professor
Laurence Knipp told Is This Proof?, "We tried various items
to see what sort of results we would get, but nothing seemed to be be
as good as the old hazel stick. Then one of the members of the team
just happened to mention that cats have a natural aversion towards water".

The team
of twelve highly respected researchers based at University College London
has been working on Project Water Seek for seven years, funded by a
anonymous benefactor in Crewe.

"Any
kind of cat will do." said Professor Knipp. "The secret is
to try and get two closely related felines such as brothers or sisters
or parents and children. You need to hold one cat in each hand closely
together in front of you. Then move slowly forward over the area you
are investigating. If the cats suddenly jump apart, then you can be
sure that there is water below."

This latest
finding has already got the scientific world buzzing and Channel 4 is
planning a special live experiment over the summer during its 'Cat Lovers'
season. A spokesperson for Channel 4 told Is This Proof?, "People
are going to see cats in a whole new light. Since time began man has
used dogs as his trusty working pet, now perhaps the time has come for
working cats to be the norm."
A spokesman for the BBC refused to comment on rumours that One Man And
His Dog would be replaced by One Woman and Her Pussy.

Stop
Press...Stop Press...Stop Press...Stop Press...

As Is This Proof? went
to press the RSPCA issued a statement saying that the idea of using
cats to find water wasn't new. "The Egyptians were at it all the
time", said spokesperson Frank Leigh.