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(week 152) 27 Nov 2014 12 Step Study Big Book Workshop​Please send donations to support the website to:Stephanie WhitingP O Box 531North Pembroke MA 02358[Christmas Day: summary of Step 2. New Year’s Day: summary of Step 3]Next Thursday (Dec 4) End of Tradition 3 and preparation for starting Step 4.Step 1:“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – and our lives had become unmanageable.”SOUL WORKQ1 When your mind and body are in a hopeless and powerless state how are you going to:a) make rational healthy decisions for you and your family?b) work and be a decent worker?c) help another person in your step one fellowship?d) How can the life of an addict not be unmanageable when the mind cannot think straight and the addicted body is calling all the shots?e) How are you going to live a manageable life?Q2. There is power in admitting we are powerless. Meditate and write on this.

​Step 3.A really good working definition of Step three is making a decision to align our will with God’s will.If without Quiet Time you don’t know God are you going you align yourself with God? Of course not. Instead you will go back to aligning yourself with yourself.******Stephanie will do a workshop next week, Thanksgiving. It will be her Thanksgiving gift to us-a 1 hour REVIEW from 8a-9a EST of Steps 1, 2, and 3.Don’t be concerned if you can’t make it next week; Stephanie understands completely. You can listen to the callback.The following week, we’ll wrap up Tradition 3, God Willing. Then there will be some preliminary information Stephanie will give us right before starting Step Four, in approximately 3 weeks.So keep collecting your writing supplies for Step Four- in a (suggestion:) designated nice, quiet writing area with a strong lamp. And make sure you know the 3rd Step prayer, or your version of the 3rd Step prayer ( you can rewrite it any way you want), because it’s very, very important to invite your HP to come in to your recovery. You need power! (We didn’t have power before we came to live the sober life; we admitted we were powerless in Step One.)And, with Stephanie as sponsor, nobody does any Step 4 writing without first saying their Third Step prayer. And, if one has to interrupt their writing, one should say the 3rd Step prayer again before resuming- since the sacred bond established between ourselves and our HP has been disrupted.

12stepstudyworkshop.com has all the handouts and accumulated knowledge of Stephanie’s studies of the Big Book.

This week: Find the handout on the 12 steps and their principles.[Each principle has a step. thus Step one surrender, Step two hope, etc.]

Soul work

Look up: sustained

Q1. Human will is of huge value in sobriety. Write on this.Aligning yourself to God is an act of human will. So ask God: ‘Can you show me what is the next right action’ – and God will. .To not be a lone wolf, an individual needs:a. a Higher Powerb. an action plan given by God and then accountability around the action plan.c. a support group.

Q2. Without accountability, an action plan is self-abuse. Write on this.

Q3. If you are a lone wolf you’re still active even if you are sober in your program.Write about this.‘All by himself and in the light of his own circumstances, he needs to develop the quality of willingness. When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can make the decision to exert himself.’

Q4. What do you understand by this?

Q5. It is when we try to make our will conform with God’s that we begin to use it rightly. (The key to sobriety). Write on this.

Q6. Feelings are not facts and no longer run Stephanie’s life. How about you?

Courage to change the things I can.

Q7. What does Courage mean to you?

Q8) What does wisdom mean to you? [To Stephanie it means she’s brought the situation in question to God and she has the solution and Action Plan. Then, of course, she has to align her will with God’s will – even if she doesn’t always feel like doing the answer she gets from God. And then, of course, she has to DO the (next) wise thing (action).]​Q9. Step 4a) If you haven’t yet memorized the Third Step prayer or your version of it, that is your major soul work for the next two weeks.b) In preparation for writing Step 4, find a good lamp and a comfortable chair. There needs to be a de-cluttered space – this writing is sacred work.Ends

(week 150) 13 Nov 2014 12step study big book workshop12stepstudyworkshop.com has all the handouts and accumulated knowledge of Stephanie’s studies of the Big Book.Please send donations to support the website to:Stephanie WhitingP O Box 531North Pembroke MA 02358​IMPORTANT:As of now Stephanie recommends you keep your private buddyships purely for your Fourth Step work.A buddy is to witness what a person has learnt through doing these steps. They make no comment only: ‘Thank you for sharing,’ or: ‘I witness what you have read’.No cross talk which is telling others what to do.Today’s reading:AA 12&12 Tradition Three top p. 139 – ’till end of top paragraph p. 141:“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking. ….Could any then imagine a society which would include every conceivable kind of character, and cut across every barrier of race, creed, politics, and language with ease?”Soul worklook up: harrowing.Q1 (a) ‘In my buddy group I will only say: I will witness your work. Thank you’. Write on that.(b) ‘If you are into the problem, you can’t be into the solution’. Write on that.Q2. Do you have anxiety and fear when people that don’t look and sound like you come into your step one fellowship? Do you go over and introduce yourself?a) What do you do if they bring in new ideas?b) Do you go to your Higher Power? To your mentor?c) Do you dig into the traditions?d) Do you call Central Service?e) Do you call a business meeting and discuss it to let the group conscience decide whether the new ideas are appropriate for your group?[You now have an action plan so will never again have to live in anxiety and fear when new people come into the group].Q3. If you are have an action plan you are no longer a victim. Write on this.[Being a victim brings anxiety and fear which an action plan brings you out of – a summary of the whole fourth step process].‘Yes, we were intolerant?’Q4 Are you intolerant? If so, what do you do?Q5. ‘After all, isn’t fear the true basis of intolerance?’Write on this.[Intolerance comes from being fearful and when fearful you are a victim of yourself.When you have an action plan you no longer victimize yourself] .Q6. FEAR: Face Everything And Recover (with God).Write on this.[Face everything means you may still stay in the problem. Recovery is having an action plan].Q7. ‘Could we then foresee that troublesome people were to become our principle teachers of patience and tolerance?’ Write on this.

(week 149) 6 November 2014 12-step study Big Book Step Workshop12stepstudyworkshop.com has all the handouts and accumulated knowledge of Stephanie’s studies of the Big Book.Please send donations to support the website to:Stephanie WhitingP O Box 531North Pembroke MA 02358​Buddy Group: 712 432 0800 Buddy Group pin no. 587213#Support the Buddy Group. When you go with the attitude what can I contribute without expect anything in return then you are really recovered. In recovery we give what we have, we give it gratefully and to anybody who needs it. The gift is that when you give abundantly you get so much joy. Its a wonderful way of life. If you want a buddy or to be a buddy: write to sue7263@aol.comSOUL WORKToday’s reading:AA 12 & 12 para 1: “Then it is explained that other Steps of the A.A. program can be practiced with success only when Step Three is given a determined and persistent trial. … ’til end of p. 41:“In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: “God grant me the serenity … Thy will, not mine, be done.”Q(1) Do you really want to get well? Go into your core; go into meditation on this.Some people don’t really want to get well. They like the excuse: ‘this is my behavior because I’m an addict!’. But recovered doesn’t mean stopping being an addict. It means (1) my mind and (2) my actions are not crazy; they are disciplined and checked out with my HP and evenly-yoked mentors.Q(2) Are you willing to know what you have to do so you can compromise (be negotiable) with other people but still have and get done what you have to?Going to God and not to our egos:It takes an act of self-will to align our egos with God’s Will.Ego can be very, very defeating with our relationships. But, with our self-will, we can tone our ego down and use persistence and determination to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.Q3 Do you really want to be successful in step four and that you have thoroughly cleaned house? Go to the core of this in meditation.[Some addicts say they want to get well but down deep they don’t. They go around with the attitude of: I am an addict so you had better just excuse my behaviour. When you do the Big Book step study process you lose your excuse of not knowing. While you are still an addict, when recovered the mind and actions are not crazy. They are disciplined. They are checked out with a higher power and evenly yoked mentors].Q4. Are you really willing to not have your own way?Q5. Are you willing to go to God rather than using self-will and your ego to run things?b) Are you willing to hand over all areas of your life to God: relationships, work, home, health, finances etc.?c) If not, what areas do you still want to hold onto? What are your fears about handing them over?Q6. Explore how you can use your self-will for positive or negative.Q7. Are you convinced that you need the third step in every area of your life: recovery, work, parenting, sponsoring, romantic/platonic relationships, etc?Q8. What in this week did you take charge of instead of working the third step?If you went to to God for everything, talk about the success – it is way more important.[You get recovered by accentuating what you do right. Stephanie got clean with her food by focusing on what she had achieved and replacing negative with positive talk].Q9. Do you trust the God of your understanding to take care of you as you prepare to embark on step four and lay yourself bare, looking at your own selfishness and self-centredness? Are you willing?Q10. Get yourself evenly yoked with like-minded people who will guide you with no judgement.If you need practical help with structure for your Quiet Time go to the recordings of the Trust and Rely workshop: 12stepstudyworkshop.com.Write down: FEAR: Face Everything (with God ) and Recover..Q11. How many times a day are you willing to do the third step and turn something over and not have your own way?When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can make the decision to exert himself.Q12. Are you willing to let God take over your thoughts and your actions?Underline: ‘trying to do this is an act of will’Above the word: ‘exertion’ write ‘self-will.’Q13. Write down: We trust to God’s will.Spend a couple of days of Quiet Time reflecting on this.‘Trust’ is the biggest word in recoveryQ14a). Do you trust the recovery process?b) Do you trust your God?c) Do you trust your evenly yoked mentor? Stephanie?d) Do you trust the group and your buddy/buddy group to God’s will?Q15. The Serenity Prayer. Write on this as much as you want including taking it word by word. Also at: 12stepstudyworkshop.com there is an excellent Serenity Prayer handout.Q16. Think about what it means to turn your thoughts and actions over to a Higher Power. [For Stephanie it means the greatest life ever which she would not give up for anything.]Q Stephanie urges us to:Q17. ‘Call one another. Your sisters doing this process are more important than I am.’

Our live phone meetings are every Thursday at 8:00 AM EST. The phone number for these live meetings is (712) 775-7031, and the meeting ID number is 714744988#.

Please send donations to support the website to:

Stephanie Whiting P O Box 531 North Pembroke MA 02358

You can listen to our recorded meetings at (641) 715-3900, pin 95666# for our Thursday Big Book Step Study workshop. You can also hear our Tuesday Big Book Study recordings at (641) 715-3900, pin 298913#. These meetings can be accessed at any time.