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My Journey into Self

Living, and its associated stresses

Sometimes, there comes a time when you have to ask, “What the hell am I doing?” If you are true to yourself, you may find you don’t like the answer. If you are like the majority, you will lie to yourself and dig yourself into a deeper, not to mention safe, false sense of security in which you are doing great.

If the former, you many run into some uninvited guests. These guests have the uncanny ability to decimate the hard work building yourself up always is. When you give yourself daily affirmations that all will be better today, or that you are worthy of true love and understanding, along comes this pernicious turd of a being who is keen and unrelenting in the ability to zero in on our most delicate of states. It is this creature, my innermost demon, that obliterates, with one fell swoop, all the hard work my journaling and positive self-talks have constructed. It is this demon, by virtue of not letting it out, that is capable of such blatant and deadly blows to my security and belief in better days. This is why I keep it in the closet.

Often, I answer as the latter. All is well and there isn’t a soul who can disturb my sense of self. I am strong enough to outsmart this fiend and try as it may, it has no control. Do you think I am describing you? Maybe, but the fact remains that this demon is within us all. Fear, doubt, insecurity, self-hatred, disbelief in our abilities, and other such things that plague our cognition about our goals are to be cast out. I am speaking to you. You and I share such vast insecurities that the best way to overcome them is to banish this demon. Exorcise it from our realms. Never let this beast into our account of self. For when we take stock of who we are, we may find we are found lacking.