I was doing my laundry today (my parents make us do our own) and my brother had his in the dryer and left before it was done. I needed to use the dryer so I took his stuff out and when I was throwing it in his drawer for him something caught my eye and I looked and it was some of my underwear that had gone “missing.” I’m really disturbed and creeped out that he took it. What should I do? I left it there for now but I’m not sure what to do. Should I talk to him first? Or maybe my parents? Please help!

An adult male who in other comments claims to have been crossdressing for 35 years, who states that “wearing lipstick is my fetish” comes to offer advice!

Listen! DO NOT talk to your parents. I’m a guy who has not worn men’s underwear in decades. I’m a crossdresser. He probably wears them when he’s out of the house or is confident no one will find out.

Do this. Go to Walmart and buy him a package of three panties in the style he borrowed from you. Take your panties out of his drawer and replace them with the new package. Say nothing.

He has no comfortable way of buying his own so he stole yours. If in the future he stops borrowing your panties, you know he almost certainly is crossdressing. It’s harmless. Really. If he still borrows your panties, he probably has a fetish and then you tell him to stop using your things. If this was just some misunderstanding, he will ask what in the hell you are doing.

Keep your parents out of this. Transgender people kill themselves for less. Even if your parents are cool with it, the fact that they know and you told on him will destroy relationships forever.

A 16 year old girl is supposed to keep it a secret that her adult brother is stealing her underwear, and spend her own money to buy underwear for him because otherwise he might kill himself.

Again she is advised to buy her brother underwear and clothes so the brother doesn’t “have to” steal.

More commenters urging her to buy underwear for her brother:

“Contrary to what a lot of people on the r/TwoX[1] post said, these aren’t masturbation aids for him”, the same commenter assures OP. That is quite a claim, considering that r/asktransgender is FULL of posters talking about stealing their female relatives’ underwear and using them “for sexual purposes”.

“I’ve sometimes gone into my sister’s closet and tried on some of her clothes. Sometimes, it’s for sexual reasons”

“…wearing my step-mum’s lingerie when she is not home. (…) there is usually a sexual aspect”

“a lot of my feelings are tied in with being sexually excited while wearing womens clothing”

“Whenever I think about transitioning it usually gives me an erection, the same happens if I’m looking at makeup videos on Youtube or wearing women’s clothes.”

“I’ve had experiences of wearing women’s clothing and imagining myself as a girl or woman throughout most of my life. I’d usually just do it in secret for short bursts, and as I got older those periods would coincide with me masturbating.”

“My first experience with cross gender activity came from wearing my friend’s sister’s underwear (out of a dare or sorts) at around age 10. I took the pair home and idolized it. This spread to searching for more feminine clothing from my sister and mom (and my cousin when she lived with my mom).”

What kind of advice do these panty masturbators receive?

“This type of fetish is [a] really common way to express repressed dysphoria”

“its common for trans people to start out in early like fetishizing”

“I used to get arouse as well cross dressing or even thinking about it”

It’s probably safe to say that the original poster’s brother is masturbating in her underpants. And the solution to this is for the 16 year old girl to keep it a secret from their parents, and spend her own money on underwear for her brother, because otherwise he might kill himself.

So tired of abusive men threatening to kill themselves if women don’t obey. Poor kid should start fucking with her brother and take up wearing boxers or set a rat trap in her underwear drawer or get some new underwear, hide it, and mace the crotch of the other ones and leave them out for creepy, boundary violating older brother to find. Oh, and install a hidden web cam in her room and upload his crimes on youtube.

To take up wearing boxers could backfire. I.e. if he still steals them, then she can be sure he’s getting off on the fact that she has worn them. Which would be very, very horrible.

Part of me hopes she already wears unisex underwear and he thought they were his.(Not sure what kind of underpants “panties” signifies) But she would probaly not go online for advice if such a mistake seemed likely.

Why do these people think they are entitled to NEVER feel shame as they go through life?

Feeling shame for violating someone is a sign of regard for other people’s dignity. And your own. Feeling shame can help us grow into more mature, healthier beings when we do unhealthy, perverse, or criminal things. To ourselves and others.

Some trans, pedos, autos, and cd’s keep confusing being shamed for what they ARE by society with feeling shame for what they DO to individual people to satisfy the urges they have to be what they are.

Obviously, she is bothered. She should tell him directly and firmly not to take her stuff. She should not ask why or listen to any excuses because it doesn’t matter and it is not her responsibility to assuage his guilt or shame for whatever he has going on.

If he feels ashamed for stealing his little sister’s panties, good. He should. There might be hope for him.

If he threatens or behaves suicidal afterwards because he can’t handle being told not steal other peoples things, he needs to be admitted to a psychiatric facility immediately. For severe mental illness. Not for being told to stop perving on his sister.

So is the brother mentally or physically disabled or what? If the brother is 18, then he can go to Target and buy his own damn panties. Why does his sister have to do it for him? No one in the store will bat an eye. Anyone who notices an 18-year-old male adult buying women’s underwear (although no one is going to notice) will assume he is buying them for his girlfriend — or whomever. He is a grown man and doesn’t need his sister to buy panties for him. Sheesh. Or could it be that if he wanted new, never-worn panties, he would go get them himself? Perhaps new panties are not what he wants?

We’ve all been there — having to buy embarrassing items only to find that no one noticed or cared in the slightest. The grown men telling the sister to to buy her brother underwear or let him have hers have been there too. But instead of telling the girl that, they’d rather groom and manipulate her to be her brother’s enabler.

I agree it’s disgusting. This adult man is stealing his underage sister’s underwear, probably for masturbatory purposes and these other adult men online are trying to groom her into being his enabler by telling her that if she doesn’t buy him underwear he’ll kill himself. And we are back to the threatening suicide again. Can it be any clearly that “transwomen” are men in every way? Threatening suicide to get your way is common with abusive men.

And yeah, the brother is 18 so he can get a job and buy his own damn underwear. But I guess that wouldn’t be a big of a thrill as the pseudo incestous pedophilia.

Hey, I’m one of the commenters you screenshotted (Me_Melissa). I’d like to respond to a couple of the things you said about my comments.

First, I agree with you that when I said “these aren’t masturbation aids”, I was making a big assumption, and a poorly-expressed one at that. I was trying to counteract the, “they’re just stealing them to jack off” mentality that a lot of the 2X posters had. Because, first, that might not be the case, and second, that doesn’t invalidate that something more important could be going on. If I could re-write that sentence, I’d say, “you shouldn’t assume they’re being used for or solely for masturbation.”

However, I don’t like how you ignored the very next sentence that provides more context for what I said, too. The girl said she wouldn’t feel comfortable going with her sibling to buy underwear (i think she mentioned it was because of the sexual aspect) and I was saying that she shouldn’t think of it as any less comfortable or more sexual than buying underwear with a sister of hers.

I also don’t agree with your portrayal of my suggestion that she consider buying her sibling some panties. I think it’s pretty clear that I always framed the suggestion with, “if you’re comfortable doing so.” I alluded to the fact that there were ways her sibling could get girls’ underwear without her involvement, as other commenters suggested. I didn’t feel that I was pressuring this girl to do anything, just letting her know what her options were, and what they might mean for her sibling.

Sorry but, the medical diagnosis and treatment of transgender people is based upon gender dysphoria, not on a cross-dressing fetish. This is just another very poor attempt to stereotype and create hatred against trans communities.

Lets back up…

A girl comes in to asktransgender for help because her older brother is stealing her clothing. The conclusion that the article jumps to is that this is being done for a sexual purpose. The supporting evidence is that there are other people who do it for a sexual purpose. We don’t even really know if the original poster’s brother is diagnosed as being transgender or just has a sexual fetish. These are two different things and we know for a fact that it is sometimes one case and sometimes other. This is used to try to demonize all transgender people and proves nothing about the events concerning the original topic.

In my experience, transgender people who are diagnosed with gender dysphoria do not put on clothing of the opposite sex for the same reasons as a cross-dresser.

OMG stop making excuses and justifying the brother’s behavior. It’s wrong (and frankly pretty creepy) to steal your sister’s underwear for ANY reason. She has no obligation to help him with anything; he’s in the wrong. Using suicide as leverage for anything is sick and wrong, and a sign of mental illness.

Look, I’ve been there, I went through all this, and never became part of the trans community because you’re all so full of shit, twisting things around to fit your own bizarre, made-up reality and excusing bad behavior because of your belief that we were all born in the wrong body and therefore should be allowed to do whatever we want, non-trans people be damned, cause transmisogyny and TERF and stuff!

Look, not all people agree with the trans narrative and guess what – that’s ok! They don’t have to! We’re all free to believe what we want. You’re all digging yourselves into a deeper hole here. At some point, society will tire of this nonsense and you’ll have to start behaving like sane people again.

[…] his body and being desperate for estrogen and surgery within a few months. Another post regarded a 16-year-old girl who was told to buy her 18-year-old brother women’s underwear so he’d stop stealing hers, or he’d totally commit suicide. The “transition or […]