I am a small brown bear
.... navigator, tissue-issuer, steely eyed spy,
football fan and Agony Uncle! Now that you've found me, sit back, relax, sip some tea and dunk a biscuit, and let some Bearissity into your tortured life. Ahhhh. See, better already, isn't it?

WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Look wat she did to me!This is the result ov Mummy combing me. I keep tellin her I don't need grooming. Yu carnt improov on perfekshun, arfter all. She eevn thretend me wiv a wash. GERROFF! I don't NEED a wash. I had a barth in 2004.

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I carnt beleev it's Therzday an I havent bloggd since Saterday!

We dident get to football on Saterday, by the way, cos thare waz so mutch traffik neer the bridge to Kent an we got stuk in it, an so we got maye too layte to go. Hurrumpff!

Never mind. We are goin to try agen this Saterday, so get yor lukky bloo pants owt, peepol; it's the proper start ov the footie seezon!!!

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We stayd at Granny's howse till Munday nite. On Sunday we took her for a drive an we endid up heer, wich is a craft senter:-That's yung Zed wiv me. He livs at Granny's howse wiv his parrents.Wilst chattin over our brekfarst Weetabix, I diskuverd that he cuddent remember ever havin been owt in a car, so I arraynged for him to come wiv us.

Inside the crarft senter they had lots ov intrestin stuff. They eevn had an adopshun corner, an I spottid theez 2 up for adopshun!!Hmm. A rarther hansum Bear an a dragon-type-thing, sittin together.-Do they remind yu ov enywun?

Then we had a Cream Tea. A Cream Tea is wen yu get lots ov tea to drink but also yu get lots ov scones (they ar a bit like a dense caykey thing an very scrum. Sumtimes yu get froot in them). Wiv the scones yu get sum butter, strorbry jam, an lots an lots ov thik, gloopy cream. They ar so scrum I fergot to tayke a foto befor we startid to eet it all!! Heer's Zed chekkin owt wat's left:Heer's me, gardin the larst morse ov my bit:Akcherly, we cuddent finnish them all, so Granny rapt the larst wun in a tishoo an smuggold it home in her bag. HAHAHA! Good ol' Granny!

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Heer is Mr Scooter in Granny's bak garden. He waz stalkin sumthing. I never fownd owt wat. Maybe he fanseed the blakberrys on that bush.Miss Fluffy has her own chair in the garden:Heer she is on Granny's lap:Heer is a bee on a flower in Granny's garden.The flower is calld a Pashun Flower an it smells ov vanilla ice creem.Heer is Tiger on top ov Granny's shed roof. He livs up the road but he likes Granny an she givs him watever food Scooter an Miss Fluffy don't eet, cos his own peepol don't care for him very mutch.That's all to report reelly, exsept that Mummy an Daddy hav bort bicycles an keep goin owt for rides an Mummy keeps fallin off. But I havent mannidged to get them on film yet. Hehe!

I think you look lovely with a spikey hairdo. But just as good without.You should yhink yourself lucky you weren't my bear. I had him in the days when bears weren't human if you know what I mean. I did a blog post about him ages ago but I can't get into it right now. watch this space.

ownly theez dark perpol wuns seem to smell ov vanilla ice creem. We had sum wite pashun flowers but they dident smell they just got tangold over all the uther plarnts so Mummy got rid ov it cos she sed it wassent werth the bother as not eevn the beez liket it mutch.

Watch footie on the internet:

Thank you for your visit. Bob's off for a dam' good frolic now:

A note on "Bear English"

Some people have written to me to say that they can't read my blogs cos ov my Bear English. We do spell some things differently, mostly phonetically. Sorry. We also say 'der' for 'the' and 'dat' for 'that'. To try to make it easier for you, I am now trying to remember to use "th" insted. But my oldest posts will stay mostly in the original Bear English.... Please "BEAR" wiv me. If you can't read me, please come back wiv a good strong cup ov tea an a choklit biskit, an try den! I mean THen!
(It's the polar bear influence, you see, because in Icelandic the 'th' sound is spelt with a 'd'.)