Expectations Versus Acceptance

For this week's topic, I wanted to focus on the words "acceptance" and "expectations". Although these are single words they both hold tremendous weight in our overall happiness. I am going to start with the word "EXPECTATIONS". In my humble opinion, unrealistic expectations pave the way for nothing except disappointment. Think about when you told your family and friends that you are no longer eating meat. What was their reaction? Hopefully it was a positive one, one that was encouraging and praising your choice. More often than not, it was not necessarily what you hoped or expected. If you set an expectation that you going to lose 20 pounds in a month and only lose 5 pounds, you will be disappointed in the results. If you expectation was different and you only expected to lose 5 pounds, you would have a achieved your goal and celebrated the accomplishment.
If you expect one reaction and someone reacts differently, how does that make you feel? When you share great news, do you automatically expect the person you are sharing it with to be happy for you? Unfortunately, this is not always the case and once again disappointment can set in. Television and magazine ads are all staged. The models always have picture perfect hair,skin and bodies with the help of air brushing and photo shop. This is not reality. Does your hair always come out like the picture? Probably not. I know mine doesn't. Do you ever get a blemish at the worst time possible? I know I have. Although these things may seem insignificant in the overall scheme of things, they can ruin your day if you let them. This is where "ACCEPTANCE" comes in. Acceptance does not mean that you are agreeing, condoning or even like something. In life, there are things within your control and other things which are out of your control. The trick is to know the difference and then decide how YOU will handle it. The only thing we can really control is our own actions and reactions. Some people are just not capable of being the person we want or expect them to be. Knowing the type of individual you are dealing with will help you choose that way you react to them/ The other part of acceptance is accepting yourself where you are at the moment and enjoying every day. So back to the bad hair day. That does not define who you are or what you are capable of. I'll tell you a secret, no one cares about it or will even notice unless you point it out. What they will notice is how you show up. If you are confident and accepting of your self, this is what will get noticed and will grab their attention. Going back to last week's blog, we tend to magnify the "bad" things. If a bad hair day is the worst thing that ever happens, life will be amazing. Acceptance of yourself is a priority, set realistic goals and you will get the results you expect with no disappointment. Goals are attainable one day at a time. Whether it is diet, exercise or something else, celebrate your accomplishments everyday no matter how small, You may even want to add them to your gratitude jar!

When you think about it, everyone is different and the world would be a boring place it we were all the same. Everyone is exactly who they are supposed to be. Since there are no scripts in life, we can't expect everyone to know exactly what to say or do in every situation. At times, we set expectations in our minds but don't tell anyone what they are so they don't have a clue what we actually want from them. But yet when we don't get the response we want we get disappointed or angry or even resentful. So in reality we are the ones that set ourselves up for a fall. Sometimes we don't even know what we want them to do or say but know whatever they did was wrong. If you remember the phrase "they are what they are and they are what they aren't" it makes it easier to know what you can expect from someone. Think about it, once you know what you can expect from someone or maybe realize in some cases you can expect nothing at all, it will allow you to accept the person for who they are and help you to deal with the situation. It is not about you, they are who they are. There are friends and family that are sympathetic and those who are judgmental or opinionated. You have to know your audience. I can almost guarantee that you will be a lot happier once you start looking at things from this perspective. I know I am. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic so feel free to share or comment.

As I said last week, I was going to share some quick easy recipes. The ingredients I am going to work with this week are carrots, coconut milk and fresh ginger. This is one of my staples and is incredibly simple and an absolutely delicious soup which is perfect for on a cold day. It doesn't take much but it is so good. All you need is a pot and a blender. You can easily expand the recipe if you are cooking for a crowd. This soup originated with a bunch of carrots that were getting soft and I just didn't know what to do with them. I am not really a fan of cooked carrots and they were beyond the point of just eating them raw. So I took a chance and made them into soup and it was a huge hit. I have even substituted canned pumpkin and have added apple cider if I didn't have coconut milk readily available. When I cook there is no right or wrong so I encourage you to experiment.

After I peeled the ginger, I chopped it into little pieces. I used 5 carrots for this recipes since that was what I had in the fridge. After peeling and cutting the carrots into pieces I added a 1/2 tablespoon of the fresh ginger however you can adjust to taste. ( you can also use ground ginger if you don't have ginger root on hand.) I added enough water to the pan to cover my carrots and ginger and cooked them until the carrots were fork tender. If you need to add more water that is fine since you don't want them to burn but remember the liquid is the base of your soup. In a blender put carrots with remaining water and blend until you have a puree, at that point add a cup of coconut milk and blend again to get that smooth, creamy texture. This recipe will yield about 2 portions or one generous serving if you don't want to share.

You can add salt and pepper to taste or even a sprinkle of cinnamon. Sometimes I add fresh cilantro as I did on the above picture. There is no right or wrong, if you like a thicker soup add more carrots and less water, for thinner soup add more coconut milk, vegetable broth or water. It is all up to you, get creative. Hope you enjoy the bowl of soup as much as I did. Looking forward to reading some of your variations.

Aside from cooking, one of my other passions are animals as I mentioned last week. From the time I was a child, I wanted to bring home every abandoned animal that I came across and over the years many of them were welcomed into our family. I wanted to share how I acquired my current brood with you and hopefully it may inspire you to open your heart and home so that you can experience the unconditional love and devotion of a rescue pet.

This is Colby's story.

The Christmas before last my husband kept asking me what I wanted. I basically have everything that I need and I am working on reducing clutter and want to simplify my life. The last thing I needed was more stuff. So I had the thought of giving an animal a home for Christmas. This is how we got Colby. My husband searched the internet for days until he came upon the picture of this little guy. When he showed me, I immediately fell in love. The picture posted of him said he was at a number of pet fairs but he was still waiting for a home for Christmas. His story was that some nice lady found him when he was a tiny kitten and took him to the vet because he had a badly infected eye.The vet could not treat the infection and the little fellow had to have his eye removed. He wound up at a rescue and was being fostered after his surgery. After I saw his picture on the website, I called to see how I could go about making him part of our family. I spoke to a wonderful woman who was actually Colby's foster mom and she offered to bring the kitten to our house to meet us. As soon as she walked in and took him out of the carrier, I knew he was never leaving. She told me that she had a really good feeling after we spoke on the phone. I had explained to her that we had other pets with special needs so he would fit right in. Colby got his wish and the best gift ever, he got a home for Christmas. In all reality I don't know who got the better gift him or me, he is the most lovable little guy you could ever meet and he is one of the best Christmas presents I ever got!

Just a couple of ideas how you can help animals in need even if you can't adopt. Share posts on Facebook of lost pets or animals that are in shelters that are up for adoption. The more their story and picture gets shared the better their chance of finding a home or being reunited with their family. You can also call your local shelter to see if they need blankets, sheets and towels. This is a great way to recycle and jump start your spring cleaning while helping unfortunate animals in the process. Finally if you are looking for a pet please consider adoption before purchasing an animal, you won't regret it

My boy Colby

And remember once you accept yourself, set realistic goals and celebrate your progress along the way you won't expect anyone to make you feel good. You are in control of how you feel!

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Finally please like, share and comment on this post if you found it enlightening or interesting. Have a great week!

16 comments:

Colby looks like such a sweetie pie! I fostered my girl Maggie for a couple months before I was finally able to adopt in her April of 2012. She was a rescue from a puppy mill, used for breeding. She had a popped hip, a tear in her ear, patchy fur, and was terrified of everything. Such a difference a lot of love and the years can make. She's the best thing to happen to me! :)

Thanks for your comments! That is so great, I also have 2 chihuahuas, one of them has one eye and is 20 years old and the other one has severe anxiety and some neurological issues. My newest addition is a chihuahua/pug mix who was born with a deformed front leg. I will be telling their stories in upcoming posts and sharing more quick easy dishes.

It's hard to differentiate between "expectations" and "acceptance." Everyone sets expectations not only for themselves but for others. However when it comes to acceptance that's different - not everyone is accepting. Some more than others.