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Friends on Earth

Recently I had a speaking opportunity with an organization I
have known for decades.It is a Quaker
group that gathers annually.Typically,
there are a couple speakers and that was the role to which I had been
invited.Earlier in my career, this was
a group I would have visited every year they gather.On most of those occasions, I would not have
been the speaker, but I did get to know many of the folks.

Of course, over time many of the ones I would have known
have moved or died.And over time many new
faces have moved into the area or simply have joined that Quaker gang.So there were more faces I did not know that
I could claim I knew.That is a good
thing!But I also was more than happy to
be back where some old friendships were rekindled, if only for a short period
of time.It led me to think about
friendship, one of my favorite themes.

I have thought a great deal about friendship and have read
much over the years.And anyone my age
clearly has had many friends.Unfortunately, the term, “friend,” is used quite loosely and, often,
without much meaning.I know students
and others who would claim to have more than five hundred Facebook
friends.According to the classical
definition of friendship, having five hundred friends is impossible.

I do not want to belabor the definition of friendship
here.What I would like to do is pick up
the wonderful words of Jesus, which come to us in John’s Gospel.At one point Jesus turns to the small group
of his followers and says, “No longer do I call you servants; I call you
friends.” (Jn 15:15)This has been an
important reference for my own Quaker gang, because our technical name is the
Religious Society of Friends.We take this
passage as our understanding of discipleship.

Our understanding of discipleship sees the call to be a
disciple as a call to be a friend.When
Jesus told so many, “follow me,” essentially he was calling them into a
relationship of friendship.But was not
to be a tepid, loose affiliation that Jesus had in mind.It was to be a serious relationship with
significant implications for us, his friends.It is upon this I was led to reflect.What was I, as a friend of Jesus, and all those others I called friends
(and who were trying to be friends of Jesus) to think and to do?

Immediately, I thought of a key resource on this
matter.Some years ago I met and became
an acquaintance of Liz Carmichael, a theology professor at St. John’s College,
Oxford University.She wrote a book on
friendship, Friendship: Interpreting
Christian Love.I would like to cite
one passage that summarizes the nature of friendship---at least, the way Jesus
might have wanted it.Carmichael says it
is “to be friends on earth, to offer love which may be in the truest sense
sacrificial, to build community, to be peacemakers and healers, to seek and
promote compassion and justice, to walk with the oppressed and help their voice
be heard, to celebrate with all.” (197)Let’s look at this in a little more detail.

I like the idea of friends on earth.It does not discount we might be friends in
heaven---after death, but it does not speculate on that.To be friends on earth is to offer love.It may even ask for sacrificial love.That is clearly what one of the Greek words
for love, agape, means.It is the deep kind
of love that parents have for their children.It is the kind of love that does not worry about the price to pay to
help someone else.It is the opposite of
selfish love.

The next idea is to build community.A whole book could be written on this.The work of friends---especially, if it is
demanding work---cannot be done alone.It requires the support of community.Community refreshes us in the moment and provides momentum for the long
haul.Community picks me up when I don’t
feel like I can do any more.And
community asks for me to pick up others when their zeal is flagging.I could not do it without community.

I like the idea that Carmichael gets fairly specific about
the ministry.It is to be peacemakers
and healers.We seek and promote compassion
and justice.Compassion is nothing less
than love---sacrificial love in action.And justice is the work of those who have more than enough as we try to
ensure those who have less than enough get a fair deal.Certainly I am in that category of those who
have enough.The ministry of justice is
a serious calling.

That is closely linked to seeking opportunities to walk with
the oppressed and helping all those who are silent to find their voices.I have learned how to do this in the
classroom.I need to learn how to do it
better in the bigger world.I still feel
like a neophyte.And the final word is
the challenge to celebrate.It does not
have to be thankless, grim work.

There are times we need to recognize and appreciate those
who are friends in the community of ministry.This helps us go forward as friends on earth.So be it.

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