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Holy Lord. Who in Paul McCartney-is-filling-in-for-Kurt Cobain-hell is THAT? (More about that travesty later. I promise you.)

Seriously though. Whose skinny mustached-ass (ew) is getting arrested up there? Oh, it’s none other than Matthew McConaughey werqin’ it so that HE can be the number one Oscar Campaigner next year. MM and Jared Leto Jordan Catalano are both starving themselves for the sake of Their Craft for the upcoming film The Dallas Buyers Club. Boys? That’s so 90’s of you. You didn’t see Mike Myers piling on the weight for Shrek.

I’ve been a little hard on this person in the past, for only one reason…and it’s a silly reason, quite honestly. I’ve come to recognize the talent and ability to transform themselves; much like someone else I adore.