Thursday, June 25, 2009

B. Brian Blair gets all Benoit on his sons.

"Brian Blair, 52, spent Father’s Day in jail in Hillsborough County after a domestic dispute when he was arrested on charges that he punched both of his sons early in the morning....blah blah blah....The report said that Blair pushed his 17-year-old son Brett in the chest. According to the report, when his son tried to walk away, Brian punched him in the face with a closed fist, leaving a red mark that caused swelling, and then put him in a choke hold. Police deputies then said Blair let go of Brett and grabbed his 12-year-old son, Bradley, by the throat, and punched him on the top of his head, leaving a lump. When deputies arrived, they saw the bruising of both sons faces and they both said it was their father who did it."

Since this was so close to the two year anniversary of Benoit himself Benoiting his family, there's no word on whether or not this was some sort of weird tribute to the greatest Canadian grappler in pro wres history or if it was some kind of crazy coincidence...or just drunken horseplay. "Jumpin'" Jim Brunzell could not be reached, but I'm guessing he got some texts that night containing Blair's physical address.

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In the days of ancient Rome men tried to best each other physically by imposing their will on one other. Sometimes this lead to the death of one of the competitors. Sometimes it lead to a friendship or brotherhood bond being formed. More often than not it ended with the two dudes fucking the shit out of each other. Faggotry and wrestling have long had a mutually parasitic relationship. Where faggotry is afoot wrestling cannot be far behind. Where there is wrestling you can rest assured that faggotry is nearby, jerking off furiously. This is the way it has always been and the way it shall always be. Though men have tried to change this dynamic throughout the ages they have all failed. Spandex, pyrotechnics, midgets, fake tits and sports entertainment cannot mask the overwhelming scent of gay that always accompanies wrestling. You can always be certain of these three things: The sun always rises in the morning, politicians always lie and wrestling will always be gay as fuck. We are merely observers; scribes charged with the duty of recording, analyzing and mocking this faggotry. These are our words.