What Should We Do About A 50 Year Old Daughter Who Choeses Her Husband Over Her Parents?

It has been 2and 1/2 years since we have spoken to our daughter, she and her husband have cut us off from our 2 grandaughters 21 and 23, this is the part that hurts the most. This all started because her husband threw out my son who is not all there, in my opinion. He is a DEADBEAT DAD, an alcoholic, and can be a very mean man, but I won't get into that. He was talking to a guy he used to work with and the guy offered him a job, he said he could not take the job because he had no way to get to the job and get back to my daughters house. So my son- in-law overheard this and told my daughter to take my son to where the job was, give him $100.00 and drop him off. I know I probably over-reacted but all I could picture was Mike taking the money and getting drunk and getting hit by a car or a truck on Rt. 75 in Fl. There is a bench warrent out for his arrest in N.Y. He is pure skin and bone and 56, however I am his Mother, I don't like him but I do love him, I worry about all of my 4 children. So, I called my son in law up on Dec. 7th 2010, and litt into him, it had been comming for a long while any way. Well he called me some very deplorable names, such as an " indgent MF" and it just got worse from there,and yes I called him a few things too, and then he hung up on me. My daughter told her sister she was not home at the time, but I distinctly heard my daughter say to her husband "ok Doug that is enough" and I know her voice as well as I know my own. I guess my Question is , should I leave this situation alone, or What ? I bought all the cloths for the girls from the time I knew they were comming until I retired in 1991. We gave them beautiful furniture, a Drexal Heritage dining room set when they got a house, my beautiful end and coffee tables,a $1200 roll Top Desk, Dishes, Pots and pans Silverware, you name it and I gave it. We have been very depressed since this all happened,our whole family is broken up, sometimes I think I should just end it all, but then I think about my husband and other son and daughter and I just cry instead. What is your thoughts on this, what would you do? HURTING MOM in FL

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Dear Abby:
This is not the typical Mother-In-Law concern. I have been with my husband for 13 years. We got married two and a half years ago. Relationship is great and was with the in-law until last August 2011 when we all moved together. My mother-in-law suffered from two sub...