Friday, April 14, 2006

This is magic?

This is Dean's wife Lisa posting to his blog because I do not have my own yet. Anyway, check out this news story about David Blaine and tell me how anyone can consider this magic.

Matt Parker & Trey Stone were onto something when they referred to this so called magician as a douche. (I think it may have been the biggest douche in the universe, but I can't remember the exact wording). Cheers!

It's pretty clear to me that the Molarity of pee in the tank will increase over time. What's not clear to me is what will happen to his poop. Frankly I don't want to know what will happen to someone who doesn't poop for seven days and then tries to hold his breath for nine minutes. The best I can do if the James Bond movies are true is 6 minutes according to Bonds watch. No really, 2 minutes is hard enough and I've gone over three but only sitting perfectly still.

The record, is just under 9 minutes for free breathing. Air is only about one fith oxygen. It's possible for almost anyone to breath in pure oxygen and hold their breath for that amount of time, Guinness records show many attempts with pure oxygen that reach about 15 minutes.

As a magic trick this is all about misdirection. The trick will be to get everyone thinking about him living in a tank for a week and then everyone will be amazed when he takes off his air mask and feeding tube to hold his breath longer then the record. (Hello my name is Simon. My hands are all pruny!)

I bet Blaine is fed some sort of stool softener that allows him to crap in a diaper that slowly lets it all dissolve into the tank. He'll have his air and nutrient tube on all the time so that they can make a big deal about him taking it off for the first time in a week. He'll take a last breath before the trick which will be pure oxygen and then any asshole can hold their breath 9 minutes.

I'm not a diver so I'm not sure if the water pressure in a 10 foot tank will make any difference on his lungs. Also, in the case of the pure oxygen attempts I think they were just exhale, breath in a lung full and then wait. I don't know if Blaine would get any benefit from breathing pure oxygen for a couple days or even a couple minutes before the last deep breath.