Saturday, August 15, 2009

I should be sleepin...

I should really be asleep, wow. And tomorrow is the earliest I need to rise all week - whoever thought of doing a 9am service...we have to talk! I came on the computer to check my email as I have been house hunting and needed to see if I had a reply, but somehow I got drawn in to the world of blogging! I did not realize how huge blogging was!! I was actually blog hopping to those of you who have left comments on my previous blogs and my goodness, many of you are very talented and are far better writers than I! Yikes! I also found Beth Moore's blog, she is an avid follower of mine..just kidding, I only wish.

So my sweet friend Mandi is here with me, well currently she is sleeping - being wise girl! We are having such a great time. The background on Mandi and I is that we met at summer camp, and later became college roomates! We even shared a pet...a little fish who unknown to me, died and somehow, (hmmmm) ended up on my bookshelf above my bed for more than a couple days...EWW! Oh the pranks we played, they will remain forever etched into my heart... watch out though, I love to prank, you just never know what this crazy mama is up to!

Mandi and I have done a great deal of talking and EATING....we should really drink a small pond to make up for all of the salt we have taken in today...we both have a weakness for french fries... those sweet, salty fries..mmm. We got our pictures taken today by my friend Elise (so excited to show them off!) and then took in the sights and smells of LO's farmers market, sadly we both forgot our cash, but it was probably better that way. We ended our evening by going downtown and did some more window shopping, followed by a delicious dinner at my favorite restaurant, Papa Haydn's. Sadly the fastest way out of downtown was closed and even sadder Micah decided to cry from the moment he was placed into his carseat to the moment he got fed at home, longest 20 minutes ever, BUT aside from ending the night in the crazy house we had a sweet day.

On a more serious note: 11 months today my friends. Last night I was having a most difficult time with Micah who thought he would show mommy how great his crying skills were by waking her up every two hours. It quickly induced the emotions of just how much I missed Preston's presence. I wanted him to say, it's ok Tara I'll go in this time or tell me some cheesy pun to relieve the frustration. I was feeling like crying and running away, but I knew I needed to bring myself back to what's real. A second later, I had a random (but really not so random) thought to read Psalm 91, so I began.... one line in:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

And second line:

"I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust..."

Need I even say more? God is Good. He has been faithful and kept to his promise to be a husband to the widow. Placing God's word upon my nightstand and laying my weary body down to sleep I thanked God for his perfect message to me and prayed my life magnify his greatness.... the crying child and anxious thoughts were but a fading memory.

"...Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name....

He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him...."

Stumbled on your blog awhile ago and felt the need to say hi after reading your blog about the commercial and then seeing it on t.v. not 5 minutes later. Without sounding like I know you, I am humbled by your faith and pray that God allows me to handle my small trials as gracefully and faithfully as you seem to have handled the last year of your life. Thank you for being a light for Him.

your constant faith is an encouragement to me! we all have bad days, yet you are always quick to face Jesus with your fear/anger/sadness and allow HIM to mold it into beauty! thank you for always giving me a point of perspective to refocus on!

Hi Tara! Delurking here to say that I saw your commercial last night on TV in Huntsville, Alabama! I was so excited to see it! It's a very effective commercial and I think it will help other young people, which is great.

I, too, stumbled across your blog about a month ago (our blog backgrounds match, btw...super cute!). I must say that the Lord has challenged me through your words...challenging me to trust Him even in the times I least want to. What a beautiful picture you are of leaning fully on the Lord. I pray as the Lord brings you to this one year anniversary, that you would be able to reflect on His goodness to you and the love that He has lavished upon you during this time. The Lord's strength is made ever so apparent in your life and I am grateful to have been given even a small glimpse. Praying for you!

It is amazing how God can lead you to someone. I mean utterly amazing. I was watching TV just now, and the Farmers Insurance commercial that featured your story was on. I've seen it several times before, and it has always made me sad; however, after it was over, I forgot about it and proceeded to watch whatever programming was on. Tonight though was quite different. I chose to look you up on the Internet, and that's how I got to your blog. And wouldn't you believe it, your blog entry to which I'm leaving a comment left me in tears. I am crying as I write this. I have a husband, and I have a daughter who is almost two. I am utterly exhausted, but instead of trying to work with my husband and our being a time, there has been nothing but strife and anger and blame. I should have said first that "We are utterly exhausted." I pray every single day to God to give me the strength. There are two days a week that my husband works a second job. So he leaves at 6:00 a.m. and I don't see him until 11:30 p.m. that night. Instead of letting him know how appreciative I am, I have found a way to make it about me, about how tired I am, about how if HE were a better manager of money that we wouldn't be in a predicament to have to have him work so much. It's never about "WE'VE" not been faithful stewards. "WE'VE" got to figure this out together so we can get out of this mess. I give you all this background to say after reading your blog, I felt so pathetic. Here I am with a husband who can share in the duties of rearing a child, who can take some of the load off when I'm tired, who would like to be a better mate but is probably too scared to be vulnerable but I am too caught up in my pity party that I haven't recognized it. You are such a strong, God-fearing woman. You are the woman in Proverbs 31. May God bless you and keep you. Hold on to his strength as I know you have been doing. You are in my prayers. Your sons are so lucky to have a mother who knows that God is taking care of everything and that as He said he will be a father to the fatherless and a defender of widows.

Our Story making a difference

The accident that began our new and different life...

Who is Tara

I am a mommy to two amazing little boys! And a new wife to my sweet hubby Kevin.
In September 2008 I was then married to Preston, a wonderful, incredible man who has forever shaped who I am. Preston lost his life six years ago. I was 10 weeks pregnant and had an 19month old.
I have been working through the most difficult moment i have ever faced and you will find my heart spilled onto this blog. But the Lord is faithful. He gives me the grace, strength, peace and hope I need to get through each day. Single parenting, remarriage, fertility journey, it's all here! And God has been blessing my socks off lately, I am thankful, amazed and more thankful. God is good, through the bad and the good!