In spite of the insanely huge free publicity, both Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn are incensed, according to reports, about the leak of their nude pictures. They are threatening to sue anybody, everybody who looks at Tiger’s massive dong or Lindsey’s tight pussy. Although Tiger and Lindsey split in May 2015, a hacker broke into Lindsey’s phone and found pictures of Tiger’s dick that Lindsey just couldn’t let go of. Her nudes were leaked all over the Internet. (They aren’t hard to find at all. A few of our Greek linking partners still have them up.) Kristen Stewart, Katharine McPhee, Miley Cyrus, and a host of lesser celebrities were caught up in this round of The Fappening. But this round saw a much more aggressive response from some of the celebrities. In a statement, Lindsey said, “It is an outrageous and despicable invasion of privacy for anyone to steal and illegally publish private intimate photos.” The statement continued: “Lindsey will take all necessary and appropriate legal action to protect and enforce her rights and interests. She believes the individuals responsible for hacking her private photos as well as the websites that encourage this detestable conduct should be prosecuted to the fullest extent under the law.” Ohh gawd, Lindsey, they’re just tits. And we’ve already seen your naked ass. (Since we haven’t gotten the okay from our lawyers to fight this fight, we are playing this one safe, but who knows tomorrow.)

Lindsey Vonn tried to explain what her naked ass propped in the air has to do with the release of her new book, “Strong Is the New Beautiful,” but we couldn’t exactly make sense of it. She said on Instagram, “Well guys, it’s finally here! After a year and a half of hard work and a lot of personal growth, tomorrow my book will officially be sold in stores AND I’m starting my book tour! It’s taken me 31 years to finally be confident with my body and who i am, and I can’t wait to share this with you! Come see me in NYC on Tuesday if you’re in town… #StrongIsTheNewBeautiful @ Barnes & Noble Tribeca @ 6pm, 97 Warren St, New York, NY 10007”. We wonder whether she’ll be naked with her ass propped in the air. But maybe she’s not yet that confident.