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Saturday, 23 August 2014

DC Art: Commemorating Military Instruction (And Bird Molestation)

One day, I was walking by Lafayette Square near the White House.There were
a number of statues scattered around.Statues are fairly ubiquitous in the area, usually featuring slightly
pompous, noble-looking men, sometimes with naked ladies and/or eagles.So I didn’t pay them much mind as I strolled,
until I glanced up and realized these particular statues offered so much more.

Like this one.“Commemoration,” it says.It raises a number of questions.Commemoration of what?The time that dude with the flowing locks and bulging pecs engaged in
bondage play with the young, nubile pool boy under the trees?Is
that a man?Or is it a woman with a steroid problem?

Here we have a badass lady, who is clothed
for once.She is accompanied by an eagle
who is clearly trying to cop a feel.However, this is one bird who knows how to handle her birds, as she
says, “Touch my ass ONE MORE TIME and I will liberate your head from your neck.”

Finally, this was the one that first caught
my eye.Unfortunately it also had the
worst lighting, but you get the idea.

Now, I have never been in the military, but
I confess that I had a slightly different mental image of what Military
Instruction entails.This seems to be a
man saying, “All right, boy.Take all
your clothes off and get over here, so I can show you how to handle your sword.”

I imagine the sculptor had submitted this
design as a sarcastic joke, and then someone in the commissioning committee was
like, “YES!This is exactly how to
encapsulate the raw intimacy of teaching military skill, and the rush of learning
to thrust your weapon into another man!” And thus art was made.

9 comments:

The Americans really had the thing for the Romans, didn't they? Were these statues installed at the same time films like Quo Vadis were being made? The man with the sword does not appear to have normal genitals - the meat-and-two-veg are not discernible to my simian eyes. The lady, on the other hand, has a strong forearm and boobies which many would consider to be perfect.

Yeah it seems like back in the day men were ALWAYS frolicking with men. Nothing to do with being gay, just "Dude, I am ALWAYS horny." "DUDE! That is so weird, I am always horny too!" The ladies must have been so happy, having tea parties and reading, knowing the men had plenty to keep them busy, so THEY weren't bent over an ionic column 24/7...

The person in the “Commemoration" is definitely a woman. Granted, a woman with a steroid problem, but those aren't pecs, that's a mammary. If this society is ever lost, archaeologists or aliens will stumble across these statuary and create a vastly different idea about modern life.

I had initially thought it was a woman, but in looking at the photo later I second-guessed myself, and secondary opinion pointed to the masculinity of the face and arms. Either way, s/he has got some identity exploration going on.

And frankly, future archaeologists/alien explorers are going to have a field day regardless. I like to envision the academic articles on the widespread religion worshiping the apple, with its emblems everywhere and temples in strategic population centers.