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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Time for another edition of the Idiot Politician of the Week. You know the idiots are running wild in politics when Paris Hilton proposes an energy plan. We’re told that her little spoof ad has had over 3,000,000 visitors. So has Paris. But the question is, which has had more views on the internet, her energy proposal or her sex video?

Speaking of the Over-exposed, the polls are a bad omen lately for the O-man. People are tired of hearing about Senator Barack Obama as he runs for scold-in-chief. His mother always told him, wear clean underwear and check your tires. He’ll hear about yet another nomination for Idiot Politician of the Week as he visits his grandmother in Hawaii. It’s the least he can do since he called her a bigot.

The nominations are working at correcting bad boy behavior among the politicians. Just this week former Senator John Edwards admitted to having an affair, but the kid is not his son, Billie Jean. Ma Ma, Where’s my Pa? So, um, Senator, just what were you doing in that hotel room? Enquiring minds still want to know.Except for maybe Bob Woodruff, who asked the most fawning of questions,

Your wife, Elizabeth, is probably the most admired and beloved person in this country, she's had enormous sympathy because she's also gone through cancer, how could you have done this?

For a second I thought John Edwards was married to Oprah.

I’m still waiting for the aggrieved political wife who forgets her social-climbing ambitions and says, “Yeah, he’s a cheating bastard and I’m divorcing him. Only because the restraining order prevents me from killing him.”

But as sexy as the Edwards scandal is, I bet we can find someone even dumber. The trick is, you have to know where to look. If you’re looking for the IQ low point, a good place to start is Detroit. Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, just realeased from jail, is looking at two more felony counts after he allegedly shoved a police officer serving a subpoena at his sister’s house. To be fair to Detroit, elected officials in Milwaukee that get into altercations with the cops get hugged by suburban mayors before eventually going to jail on something completely different.

Mayor Kilpatrick spent the night in jail after not telling anyone he was leaving the country temporarily – to Windsor, ON. Probably never occurred to him why they use different currency over there. Kilpatrick once said he believed the job of mayor was an assignment from God. Too bad he doesn’t listen to God on other matters, like Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery And Send Text Messages About It And Other Prosecutable Offenses. Or, Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness, one of my favorites.

Kilpatrick is facing a recall effort, removal by the city council, calls from the public to resign, religious leaders asking him to resign, felony prosecution on 12 points, and even a request to the governor to just remove him from office. Kilpatrick says its a conspiracy.

Meanwhile somebody who claims to be an expert on idiots recently had an idiotic episode of his own. Looking for the idiot politician of the week? Then send in the Fool. But somebody forgot to get an audience first, and the rapidly more foolish looking Al Franken and his senate campaign is looking a little more hopeless. His campaign scheduled an event to discuss veterans’ benefits and only one person (other than the press) showed up. Perhaps everyone was afraid Franken was going to do his stand-up routine. Then he lied about his opponent’s record and admitted he had no idea if his own plan would work or how much it would cost. When I’m looking for a Big Fat Idiot, I’m looking at you Al Franken.

But let’s jump back across the border to Wisconsin where Congressman Steve Kagen was asked by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel what he would do about out-of-control federal entitlement spending.

The Journal Sentinel Editorial Board asked members of Wisconsin's congressional delegation to write brief essays explaining what needs to be done about the coming fiscal problems posed by entitlement spending - and what they are prepared to do to lead in this effort.

Everywhere in Wisconsin, people are asking for help to reduce prices for gasoline and health care, and rural areas, which make up much of the 8th District that I have the honor of representing, are affected most. I'm working hard on solutions to these challenges, which are more inter-related than many might first guess.

Now why didn’t Al Gore think of that instead of proposing his lock box in 2000? Has someone told Congressman Paul Ryan we don’t have to worry about Medicare and Social Security? Congressman Kagen is going to make sure every oilman is covered under universal health care.

Rep. Steve Kagen (D-Appleton) gave the most bizarre response of all. Asked how to solve Social Security and Medicare’s deficits, he ignored the question and instead recited unrelated talking points on energy independence, oil drilling and health care accessibility. Kagen’s response failed to display even an elementary understanding of Social Security and Medicare reform. Grade: F

I thought the DNCC sent babysitters out to Kagen’s district to prevent gaffes like this? Is he such an idiot that even they can’t keep track of everything he’s doing? If that’s the case, congratulations Congressman Kagen. You are our Idiot Politician of the Week.