Egypt Has Decided To Open 2,000-Year-Old Sarcophagus—And We All Know How This Ends 😱

Archaeologists have unearthed a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus in Alexandria, Egypt—and against all better judgment and apparently, every warning put forth by The Mummy franchise, they’ve decided to open up the mysterious giant black coffin, leaving people on the interwebs shooketh to the core.

‘Experts have not yet determined to whom the tomb belongs,’ Mostafa Waziri, the ministry’s general secretary, told Yahoo News earlier this month.

A jet black sarcophagus, perfectly sealed despite being 2,000 years old, is a rare find in Egypt, where treasure hunters and professional tomb raiders have spoiled many ancient burial sites https://t.co/VW3oydFPjH

Others balanced their pragmatism and calls to open the box with acknowledgements that, well, ya know, we’re all probably gonna die:

Look, I realize that by saying this I am dooming myself to be among the first victims of whatever ancient beast emerges from it, but I don't buy the idea that there's anything in that sarcophagus other than a very old mummy. OF COURSE they should open it.