Autumn was when we decided it was time to welcome a new life into this world.

Autumn was when we were going to meet that new life.

Autumn was when that day came and went quietly, with no sweet baby in our arms.

Autumn was when we found out that there was a new life in existence, and we were scared.

And every time this season rolls around, and that day in September comes and goes quietly, I think of our first sweet babe who we didn't get to meet. It's a hard thing to accept, that these sweet children are not ours to grasp at. They are gifts from above and all we can do is love them.

A week before we found out that we had lost our baby, I laid in my mommas bed, and asked her how I would survive if I ever lost a baby. And she told me "you just will". And I did. I don't know how, and sometimes it felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. But the darkness lifted, and the pain subsided, and I accepted that this was my new normal.

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. And I've been keeping in mind the mommas in my life who have loved and lost their sweet babes. Tonight I will light a candle and say a prayer for the little ones who are gone and the women in my life who love and still ache for them.

If you know someone who has lost a child too soon, don't hesitate to let them know that you are thinking of and praying for them.