2. Day 13: “Interview With A Fear”

Looking at the “21 Fear Salute” is giving me pause. I am forced to really stop and look closely at the interrelated fears that make up this cloaking of my joy and nature of love we know as depression. I keep thinking that something else will come to me about depression but it seems that witnessing and welcoming 21 fears is enough for now. Perhaps once my fears are all present and accounted for, they will feel safe enough to not feel fearful any more. So let’s tackle the fear of the bigger picture.

Fear: It makes me feel small and I already feel infinitesimal. I feel like something will be required of me that I will be incapable of doing. When you are small, or feel small, bigger feels dangerous.

HS: What would make the bigger picture feel less daunting?

Fear: If I could just look at today, this moment I am in, but I almost feel too tired for that.

HS: If you could ask “the bigger picture” a question, what would it be?

Fear: Why are you important? Why does a bigger picture matter? What IS the bigger picture? What is MY part in it?

Hey! I feel a little better just looking at the bigger picture through the lens of these questions, thank you!

HS: What if you are the bigger picture? What would you do differently if you knew you were all you needed to think about: your heart, your desires, your feelings, your thoughts, your experience?

Fear: I guess that would feel less daunting.

HS: How about the next time you feel overwhelmed by “the bigger picture” you pause and take a deep breath, then take another breath. Notice what your body is doing; tired, relaxed or tension-filled? What is your heart beat doing; fast, slow, thudding? Notice your breath again.