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Tag: The Book of Awakening

We are so afraid of the waters within us that we often tense as soon as we see tears, asking what’s wrong. When perhaps we need to ask those at sea, ‘what do you see?‘ ~ The Book of Awakening

Just take a moment–read that message again and feel it seep into your being. We are so programmed to believe tears are a sign of something being wrong, someone needing to be fixed, rescued, comforted. Sometimes we miss the transformation and download of wisdom being received on a soul level. Often when we are in the midst of such rich ability to sense, to feel with every ounce of our being, we are undergoing a very deep release, which in turn brings in the grace of awakening–shifting our very perception of who we are and how we relate to this life.

Interesting this was the first communication with the ‘outside world’ for me today–this bit of truth from The Book of Awakening‘s daily dose of inspiration, received from my sister through text. We share a very open and intimate relationship when it comes to our emotions, so even the fact that it was she who shared this with me is significant.

What she couldn’t have known was the course of my morning. The number of tears that fell unexpectedly from the core of my being as I wrestled with a situation that appears to be just one of life’s ‘common dilemmas’ but is so clearly a call from my soul to go deeper, to SEE more of who I am and how I wish to live that truth. The turmoil within was so much a part of who I’ve been, the way my beliefs have formed, the ‘reality’ that lives in my cellular tissue even–that I ended up with a headache. That old familiar neck tension, the feeling in my throat that it’s closing, tight, unable–but perhaps even unWILLING to be moved. The stage of healing the wounds that lived there feels to have taken place. It’s now a matter of honoring my soul that has rested in that space–my 5th chakra. So many of my life’s lessons emanate from that energy center. She has become a familiar friend….and sometimes adversary.

When Lydia sent that text, she had no idea I’d been in dialogue with my soul this morning, engaging this very truth. The impulse was to name it, fix it, be done with it. Yet–it just wasn’t that simple. Instead, I had to listen with my heart and see with the eyes of my soul. I had to let go, turn inward and ask ‘Jackie, what do you see?’ And then the choice–to listen to her voice–my voice.

As I opened myself fully to listen, I felt the shift, the release of emotion as well as old paradigms of how to live, who to be. I connected deeply with another space of my authentic self. Ego was asked to step aside so that my soul could guide my way. Once the fear became clear, the decision became easy–the path that doesn’t give fear the leading role.

And so I ask you my friends….not what’s wrong with you or how to fix you so you’re ‘happy.’ But rather…’what do you see?’ from where YOU are? Through the mists that lie between our mind and our soul….when you look more intensely and listen with your heart….what do you find there?

There have been many times that I said yes when I meant no, afraid of displeasing others, and even more afraid of being viewed as selfish. I think the first time I decided to get married, I said yes when I meant no. Young and inexperienced in being myself, I agreed to be a fish out of water for as long as I could, so as not to hurt or disappoint or displease. Not surprisingly, it all ended badly.

And how many times, once trained in self-sacrifice, do we have the opposite conversation with ourselves; our passion for life saying yes, yes, yes and our practical guardedness saying, don’t be foolish, be realistic, don’t leave yourself unprotected. But long enough on the journey, and we come to realize an even deeper aspect of all this: that those who truly love us will never knowingly ask us to be other than we are.

The unwavering truth is that when we agree to any demand, request or condition that is contrary to our soul’s nature, the cost is that precious life force is drained off our core. Despite the seeming rewards of compliance, our souls grow weary by engaging in activities that are inherently against their nature.

When we leave the crowded streets and watch any piece of nature doing what it does – tree, moose, snake or lightning – it becomes clear that the very energy of life IS the spirit released by things being what they are. And those of us committed to love must accept that care is the inner river flooding its banks. Yet if the soul’s river can’t be fed by its source, there will be no care.

~ Sit quietly and meditate on the last time you said yes when you meant no.

~ Breathe steadily and surface, if you can, why you didn’t say no.

~ Breathe deeply and identify the cost of not saying what you meant.

~ Inhale slowly and invite your spirit to speak directly the next time you are asked to be other than you are.

Like this:

The following is from The Book of Awakening, subtitled “Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.” Author Mark Nepo has written a very poignant short message for each of the 365 days of the year. It’s part of my new year gift to myself to spend some time with each day’s wisdom, allowing it to implant itself into every cell of my body and enhance my connection to Spirit. I promise you, as you resonate with the universal truth offered in these messages, you will deepen your interior life….and open your inner ears to the whispers of your heart.

From the agonies of kindergarten, when we first were teased or made fun of in the midst of all our innocence, we have all struggled in one way or another with hiding what is obvious about us.

No one plans this. It is not a conspiracy, but rather an inevitable and hurtful passage from knowing only ourselves to knowing the world. The tragedy is that many of us never talk about it, or never get told that our “green hair” is beautiful, or that we don’t need to hide, no matter what anyone says on the way to lunch. And so, we often conclude that to know the world we must hide ourselves.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. It is an ancient, unspoken fact of being that blackmail is only possible if we believe that we have something to hide. The inner corollary of this is that worthless feelings arise when we believe, however briefly, that who we are is not enough.

~ Sit quietly, with your eyes closed, and with each in-breath feel the fact that who you are is enough.

I believe not feeling “enough” is something we all experience many times in our lives. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are created as Divine beings, in the image of God. Within our makeup is the ability to understand wisdom, seek out truth and use our free will to choose what works best for us. There is nothing in our existence that is meant to be robotic or programmed. When we take on the belief that we are not enough, we begin to press ourselves into the shape that is most acceptable rather than embrace our natural selves.

Let yourself go, wear your GREEN HAIR proudly! For it is your green hair that defines you as YOU and culminates the uniqueness of who you are. And my lovelies…..YOU ARE ENOUGH. Allow yourself to feel this, to take it in. As the meditation above suggests – breathe it IN. When you think of it today, breathe in “I am enough.”

When you connect to the Divinity that is you…..your heart will whisper her love for you……