Progress Report & Snippet

So that one shot fanfic I was writing? Yeah, it’s not a one-shot anymore. I have this inability to write things out of character or to simply just let a story thread wrap up nice and neatly. Knowing the things Calla’s been through before the start of the book my friend is writing, and how Devin is and can be, I just…couldn’t make them have sex. Instead I now want to explore the development of an actual relationship between the two, because I’m dumb. And I ship them, even though Devin’s canonly gay and repeatedly expresses no sexual interest in Calla whatsoever.

Without further ado, the moment where I realized I could take this fic in one of two directions, and ultimately decided to take the more drawn-out path to super-hot-sexing:

***

She pulls away first, out of breath. Looks away from me, an odd look on her face. Fingers stop what they’re doing as my own brow bunches together. “What’s up?” I ask, breathless.

Opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. Looks at me, eyes filled with a deep sadness. “I don’t know if I can, Princess,” she whispers, hands resting on my bare chest. Eyes look everywhere but at me.

Feel a crushing weight on my chest as all of me deflates. Never knew how bad I wanted this until I had it. Still, been on Calla’s side before. Know that fucking feeling all that well. Don’t want her to feel it, too. Don’t wanna pressure her. “You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, you know,” I whisper, catching her eye. “Only fun if we both want it.”

Calla nods and sighs. Looks lost in thought — if what goes on in her mechanized brain could be called thought. Know she’s not just a bunch of nuts and bolts, though. Know she’s got feelings. Memories.

Still, feel a little awkward, both of us naked with her in my lap. Don’t have anything to cover myself up with, and her hands are still on my shoulders. Cross my arms over my chest, cover what little of my body that I can.

“I’m just a robot,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Not human.”

“Just as fucking human as I am, Calla. Trust me on that, okay? Not gonna fucking treat you like some toy,” I insist. Take her chin in my hand, make her look at me. “I promise. Only gonna have sex with you if you say it’s okay.”

She nods again, climbing out of my lap. Doesn’t say a word as she finds her clothes all over again. Take the fucking hint, get dressed and keep my back to her until she’s dressed, too.

Take hold of her hand and turn around, pressing a brief kiss to her forehead. “Don’t fucking apologize for not being ready,” I tell her, my voice thick. “Don’t wanna force you into anything you don’t want.”

Shouldn’t even have to tell her that, but I know the way our side fucking treats women. Like cattle. Like they’re useless. Calla’s the fucking strongest person I ever met. Feel honored when she hugs me, resting her chin on my shoulder. Don’t know what to fucking do, so I just hold her until she pulls away.