‘Gloria Allred has particularly strong words for Hilary Swank’

In my favorite headline of the day, Gloria Allred has scheduled a press conference this morning in which she reportedly has “particularly strong words for Hilary Swank.” But she better bring more than strong words, because last I checked, Hilary Swank knows karate. (…And kinda looks like a dude).

Allred’s strong words are in reference to Swank’s upcoming film Conviction, in which blah blah blah this isn’t really that interesting…

The movie is based on the story of Kenneth Waters [played by Sam Rockwell], who was convicted of brutally murdering Katharina Brow in 1980. Waters was released from prison after serving 18 years when DNA showed the blood samples used to convict him were not a match.
The flick — which opens Friday — chronicles the steps Waters’ sister took to free him, but Swank and company never contacted Brow’s kids.
Allred says, “The murder victim’s children feel that no proper respect or compassion has been shown by Ms. Swank [who’s also an executive producer on the project] for the murder victim and her family.” [TMZ]

And by “proper respect”, I imagine she means “money.” At this point, do people really think Gloria Allred is going to represent their interests? Everyone knows she’ll do anything for the chance to scowl at some TV cameras. I like to imagine the sign language interpreter at her press conference doing a yap yap yap thing with one hand and circling his ear as if to say “cuckoo” with the other. My uncle likes to say her name’s “Allred” because she’s “always on her period.” Ha, women, am I right?

If none of those particularly strong words are “cunt”, then I’m not interested.

By: Stone Soup

10.14.2010 @ 3:49 PM

Scene: Swank’s rebuttal press conference

*Swank slowly steps up to podium, adjusts microphone, pours water from a pitcher into a clear glass & takes a sip, opens a large envelope and removes a stack of paper, flips through the first sheets, clears throat*

“Fuck You.”

*walks away*

By: essequemodeia

10.14.2010 @ 3:52 PM

It doesn’t make a bit of sense to go after an actor like this. Are people so stupid that they think actors have a major say in the production of a major motion picture? Go after the producers or even the distributor. But an actor? Paid to read lines and emote so the camera can capture her ennui? What a money grubbing whore. And so is Allred.

By: Donkey Hodey

10.14.2010 @ 3:53 PM

I’d make a good joke about taking advantage of an orphan’s situation for personal gain, but I’m afraid of Jacktion! suing me.

By: Morton Salt

10.14.2010 @ 3:54 PM

It seems to me that what this Allred cooze needs is a good, deep dicking, and I think this Swank fella might just be the man for the job.

By: fancyshark

10.14.2010 @ 3:56 PM

That’s not nice- Hilary Swank’s a lady. A very handsome lady.

By: Morton Salt

10.14.2010 @ 3:58 PM

Shark, I’ve seen Boys Don’t Cry and that is most definitely a dude.

By: Monks

10.14.2010 @ 4:01 PM

Swank looks like a young, shaven, Steve Buscemi.

By: Donkey Hodey

10.14.2010 @ 4:02 PM

Hilary Swank saw Tom Jones live before she ever heard his recorded voice, so she was surprised to find out that there’s normally no upward inflection to his voice while he’s singing “She’s a Lady”.

By: GlennBeckHasAIDS

10.14.2010 @ 4:07 PM

Allred’s got some particularly country strong words for Gwyneth Paltrow as well

By: Donkey Hodey

10.14.2010 @ 4:09 PM

Clint Eastwood keeps meaning to thank Swank for referring him to an excellent proctologist while they were working on ‘Million Dollar Baby’ together.

By: Donkey Hodey

10.14.2010 @ 4:16 PM

Crocodile Dundee has been arrested seven times for accosting Hilary Swank because he still can’t believe what his hand is telling him.

By: ChinoMoreno

10.14.2010 @ 4:16 PM

If you want to correct Hilary, all you need to do is kick her in the sides and pull back on the reins.

By: Erswi

10.14.2010 @ 4:16 PM

I’ve got some words for Ms. Swank as well, but they aren’t particularly strong. Kerfluffle, for instance. Also, haberdashery. Why do I love saying haberdashery?

By: GlennBeckHasAIDS

10.14.2010 @ 4:27 PM

Geez apparently this guy wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer:

“Kenneth Waters was freed from prison in March 2001, and the Middlesex district attorney’s office dropped the charges against him. But he enjoyed only six months of freedom. He died on Sept. 19, 2001, after he fell on his head from a 15-foot wall in Rhode Island while taking a shortcut to a restaurant.”

Some men posting on here definitely suffer from the neurosis, “masculine protest.” Guys, guess what? The world does not revolve around you anymore. You sit at your computers with your beer bellies and smelly armpits and anonomously write nasty things about Hilary Swank or Gloria Allred because in real life, you can’t get a date. Ha ha, the joke is on you losers. No woman in her right mind will take you.