Michigan Vamp

My Old License Plate

Eccentric Night Owl

Quote from Blood Read

"An ambiguously coded figure, a source of both erotic anxiety and corrupt desire, the literary vampire is one of the most powerful archetypes bequeathed to us from the imagination of the nineteenth century."~ page 2 introduction to Blood Read: The Vampire as Metaphor in Contemporary Culture

Intellectual Vampire Quote

"If the vampire is an other, he or she was always a figure in whom one could find one's self...the despicable as well as the defiant, the shameful as well as the unashamed, the loathing of oddness as well as pride in it."~ Richard Dyer

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Saturday, December 8, 2012

Exclusive Interview with the One and Only Santa Claus by Candycane Claus

As a special thank you to Roxanne Rhoads for putting together this
fabulous tour, I managed to pull a few strings and get my dad to sit down for a
brief one-on-one just for this stop.

Candycane Claus: Hi, Daddy. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know
you’re very busy this time of year. My first question is, what did you think
when I first told you I was going to write a book about what happened here in
the Workshop last Christmas?

Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! You mean, after I found out it wasn’t
really for school, like you originally said? Ho, ho, ho! Why, I’ve always been
proud of my little princess, no matter what. Naturally I gave you my full
support, once my lawyers had exhausted any legal means to stop you.

CC: Several readers wanted me to ask if you learned anything about yourself
from the book.

SC: Well, I haven’t actually read your little book, per se. The lawyers
strongly advised me to stay as far away from it as possible, and your mother
seconded that plan. But I know the gist of what’s in it. And I know what you’re
getting at. You want me to say I was wrong to try to stop you from seeing that
boy. I’m told your reporting was fair and balanced about including all the hot
water you got yourself into. Or rather, the ice cold water, I should say. So,
while I do see you growing into a fine young adult, I think the facts speak for
themselves, that I was absolutely justified in... Something in your eye,
sweetheart?

CC: You didn’t read my book, Daddy? Um, never mind. Moving on. Tell us
about your favorite new toys for this Season.

SC: Oh, I’m glad you asked. I have a whole new line of Barbie dolls that
come with real, working chastity belts. They actually lock and everything. Ho,
ho, ho! No, I’m just teasing. You should see the look on your face, pumpkin.
Didn’t think your old man knew how to tell a joke? See, I think this shows I’m
completely at ease with my beautiful daughter maturing and blossoming into a
normal, healthy young woman... and... starting to have an interest in...
[coughs] excuse me... in boys. Uh, you don’t have to use this part in the
interview, do you?

CC: This isn’t going as well as I’d hoped. Let’s talk about Mom [Mrs.
Claus]. She said you two met when she was my age and her father didn’t like you
any more than you cared for Rudy.

SC: That was a very, very long time ago. Times were different then. It
wasn’t long after the epidemic. Everlasting life, well, that was something that
made it a little easier to win over your grandfather. You know, I probably
shouldn’t say too much about it. I’m thinking of writing my own book. I
understand zombies are big with you kids these days. Ho, ho, ho!

CC: Okay. One more question, then. Susan from South Dakota asked on my
Facebook page, what do you do about the children who no longer believe in you?

SC: Ho, ho, ho! Sounds like Susan, or perhaps some of her little friends,
may be having a crisis of faith. A wise man once wrote a newspaper editorial
over a hundred years ago verifying my existence. That satisfies me. To
paraphrase his argument, I merely stop believing in SUSANS. I’m sorry if that
sounds harsh, but after hundreds of years of lugging that heavy sack of toys
around the world, what more do these brats want from me? You’re not going to
stop believing in me one day, are you, princess? [sighs] I suppose, in the end,
that’s all that really matters. That I’m here in the North Pole surrounded by
loved ones who will always believe in me. And to the rest of the world, I smile
and say, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

North Pole High: A Rebel Without a ClausCandace Jane Kringle aka Candycane Claus

Genre: YA teen romance/humor/fantasy

Publisher: elfpublished books

ISBN: 978-0615681917

Number of pages: 302

Word Count: 80,000

Cover Artist: Jessica Weil

Book Description:

MEET SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD CANDYCANE CLAUS. She's the most popular girl at North Pole High. Her father is world-famous. And every day is Christmas. What more could any girl want?

BOYS! And the new boy, Rudy Tutti, is hot chocolate. But he hates anything to do with Christmas!

When Candy and Rudy are forced to work together on a school Christmas-tree project, her world is turned upside down: Her grades start to suffer, she loses her taste for ice cream, and now the two North-Star-cross'd teens must contend with her overprotective father — Santa Claus — before Christmas is ruined for EVERYONE!

Candace Jane Kringle is a junior at North Pole High. She likes candy canes, unicorn races, and making snow angels. Her father is the most well-known and beloved toymaker and distributor in the world. Her memoir, North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus, is her first book. After high school, she plans to enroll at North Pole University and write more books.