in which tropical drinks are ordered

On our anniversary last week, Anne and I decided to take a field trip to Disneyland and goof off for the day. It was damn close to perfect: it was warm in the sun and cool in the shade, not very crowded, and the longest we waited for anything was fifteen minutes. We ended the day at Trader Sam’s tiki bar in the Disneyland hotel.

“Do you know what you’d like to order?” The bartender asked us.

“What are you getting?” Anne asked me.

“I was thinking about that shipwreck drink,” I said.

“Me too,” she said.

“Well, then, you get that and I’ll get something different.” I said.

The bartender said, “You guys could both get the same drink, you know…”

“Oh no,” I said, “because that’s the first step to –”

Anne and I said, in unison, “–matching tracksuits.”

Then we laughed like people who had had lots of fruity tropical drinks, even though we hadn’t had a single one.

We ended up getting different drinks, and then shared a drink that was on fire, which is why I can’t remember the name of the drink I got. (Honestly, they’re all variations on the same theme: too much rum, a bunch of sugary stuff and a dash of primary colour served in a vessel shaped like a skull or a tiki or something that could have once been a monkey, if that monkey was carved from a coconut in 1955.) It was a great day, and the perfectly silly way to celebrate the best day of my life, thirteen years ago.

My Wife and I did the same thing for our anniversary we did an over night and it was awesome. Trader Sam’s has some very good drinks. We kept our glasses form our first round as keepsakes. What got my wife and I was that the bartenders seemed to be having as much fun as we were.

Happy birthday kids! Sounds like you got to enjoy a Scorpion Bowl mayhaps? We used to order 4 person Scorpion Bowls from the Chinese Restaurant (192 oz of rum, brandy, sugar drink mix, and a flaming shot of 151 in the middle). 1 Person per bowl and race to the finish.

Trader Sam’s actually has some pretty good drinks if you get the right guy behind the stick. Kelly, the bar manager, is really in to good cocktails and will ensure that your drink doesn’t end up being “too much rum and a bunch of sugar.”

This makes me sad because my favorite bar at the Disneyland Hotel is gone, but happy because you have a new bar at the Disneyland Hotel you like. Which I guess means I’m conflicted, but as long as I can still get an Irish coffee in a Disney cup and take it with me to the AMC theater to enjoy with a movie, I think I can manage.

I have a serious aversion to ordering the same food or drink as my husband. He thinks I’m insane for feeling that way, so now you’ve shown me the dark truth: obviously, he has a vision for our future that includes matching tracksuits.

Tropical drinks can be GREAT, but it’s rare to find a bartender who can do them right. The tiki bartenders of the mid-20th century guarded their recipes jealously. It’s taken decades and lots of legwork from guys like Beachbum Berry to reconstruct and recreate complex tiki cocktails.

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