my journey in life as the woman in me merges with the mommy in me

Forever in our hearts

My heart and my mind are still unable to process or comprehend what has happened.

As I lay in the middle of my two girls tonight, waiting for the calm and darkness of the night to settle them into sleep, my thoughts went to a thousand plus miles away where my aunt is experiencing the pain of knowing she’ll never hold her youngest girl again.

I fell asleep alongside my girls and when I woke up and quietly left their room, my heart sank at the realization that everything that happened today is real.

My 28 year old cousin died today in a horrible and tragic car accident.

She had just celebrated her birthday two days ago. We had messaged. My aunt had sent me some photos of what a wonderful day she had had, with cake and funny hat and all.

I see the beautiful words and expressions of love for her as little by little our family has begun to post of her and I’m at a loss of what to say. I am so deeply saddened by this. I see her photos and I can’t believe she’s gone.

I go from nauseous, to numb, to calm to crying. And I try to remember what Celeste said to me, that she will be forever in our hearts. And still my heart sinks.