'Tweet Seats' May Be Coming To A Theater Near You, Sadly

Let’s just get this out of the way: if you are at a theatrical performance or a movie, really anything where you sit quietly with a large group of people and watch something, and you pull out your phone to text or whatever without being alllllll the way in the back, crammed into a corner, with no one next to you, you’re a terrible human being and everyone else hates you.

No, seriously, you do not need to text your friend back. You do not need update your Twitter followers. You are not so interesting that this needs to happen and pulling out your phone in the middle of a live theatrical performance is disrespectful, not to mention an act of self-abnegation. DON’T DO IT.

These are sections of a live theater or performance space’s seating set aside for audience members who wish to tweet on their phones or tablets during the performance. They are being advertised as safe harbor for the twitterati, where pulling out your gizmo is celebrated instead of frowned upon. The seats are often located in the back row of the seating area.

From Godspell on Broadway to the St. Louis Shakespeare Festival, the general managers and marketing leads at performance arts spaces have drank the Kool-Aid. Now, social media is going to save theater.

So, you know, if you needed yet another excuse to not watch live theater, beyond the sky-high ticket prices, the pretentious writing, the bad attitudes on display, and the fact that you’re surrounded by octogenarians with colostomy bags, now you have one.