jianyang called me up just now just to do some rejoicing about how one person in the west can connect with one person in the east immediately after one telephone ring. i think he's too used to the malaysian telecomsel, that one that always appears on your phone and charges you extra every time you go too deep into sentosa. anyway i had to try and convince him that the satellites that connect phone calls don't turn their big fat heads towards the west when i am talking, then turn their big fat heads back toward the east really quickly when he is talking. then i explained to him about why the phone lags when you call someone on their handphone from across the table but it doesn't lag when you're very far away. then he said i was a genius. jianyang if you are reading this you must stop drinking.

| mando | 10:34 PM

-------------------

Sunday, September 28, 2003

today i got myself a couple of travel guides and a very useful lonely planet italian phrasebook! if you're wondering why i'm so obsessed with italian its because i'm going there and it wouldn't be nice if i said something wrong in fake italian and accidentally insulted the mafia. but anyway the book has useful things to say like when you've had too much food or wine, it teaches you to say "pull my finger!" and "i really, really love you." also such useful phrases like "go to hell!" and "you're breaking my balls!" are available, along with illustrations of the proper hand signals to use in such occasions! i think this is the best book i've ever gotten!

anyway does anybody have the SAT2 writing book?

| mando | 5:39 AM

-------------------

Thursday, September 25, 2003

pirates of the carribean was fun! caroline and me looked at orlando bloom. johnny depp showed off two of his fingers a lot and sank many ships! orlando bloom looked heroic! kiera knightley displayed a range of varying bosom sizes! everyone else looked skeletal! it was like being back in disneyland on that ride with all the smoke and the humidity. especially that part in the town full o pirates chasing girls around and big ladies with rolling pins chasing pirates around! and the bunch of men trying to get a dog with the jail keys to eat a big bone! and the part where everyone keeps going "arrr! arrr!" a lot. but anyway in the movie some good pirates try to kill some bad pirates, men with curly wigs try to kill the bad pirates and the bad guys try to kill everyone else. it was very confusing. but that's not important because of orlando bloom being very hot and being in the movie and everything.

anyway today lots of water fell down from the sky and me and xingning had to have a long romantic walk from the front gate under a really small umbrella to the bus stop. it would have been a lot more romantic if there was actually a couple of guys for us to get romantic with, and if there wasn't so much water falling down from the sky, and if it wasn't such a long walk, and if the front of our skirts weren't all wet while the back part was all dry making us look like we had some kind of bladder control problem.

| mando | 8:22 AM

-------------------

Saturday, September 20, 2003

today at the airport i went to the bookshop to look at travel guides about rome and i realised that italians have a lot of good food! if you walked into an italian restaurant and jabbed randomly at a menu or said any word ending with "ini" you'd get a whole bunch of droolinducing crap! i'll have the squarchyellowini please! or the muschifettouliini! xingning said if i went there on a sunday i'd get to see the pope saying the mass in a language i don't understand! and he would be wearing his tall hat! most of the time he wears the short hat. at first i thought it was because his little house in the vatican had low ceilings. but its just standard pope casual wear.

| mando | 9:02 AM

-------------------

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

today i found out that the best way to study biology is to dance around the room acting out the epic battles between pathogens and killer T cells with copious bodily movements!

| mando | 10:33 PM

-------------------

this week was the wonderful week of exams! everyone gets violated! note to self : listening to italian music and learning italian lyrics week before major exam not good. its just stuck in your head all day long and the worst part is you have no idea what it means. all through chemistry paper 3 it was "lalala fettucini olivetti spaghetti bernoulli lalala" instead of what i was supposed to be thinking about.

anyway at captainquack.com i found an inspirational picture that reminds me of me.

| mando | 4:57 AM

-------------------

Sunday, September 07, 2003

today i formulated a special plan to make me pass most of the exams. i was going to camp out at someplace nice to study in the day and at night sleep wrapped up in a sweater with my belongings chained to me to eliminate precious time for unnecessary things like bathing and eating. i would fester a bit, but i would get quite a lot of work done. then i told my mom and she said i couldn't. she obviously has something against festering.

anyway gilmore girls has ended! its gone! for a whole year! no more dean! no more rory! but luckily, also no more jess walking around with his hands stuck in his pockets! i'm so sad. i almost had a weepie during rory's valedictorian speech. in a week i'll be sitting in front of a blank screen on sunday afternoons and drooling and saying things like "dean.. married.. finale.. gone.." i hope my mom doesn't get too worried.

| mando | 6:22 AM

-------------------

Saturday, September 06, 2003

if anyone took a coverless black sharp calculator with huge fabric paint words on the back that say "my lousy calculator", that is indeed my lousy calculator and it would be nice if you gave it back to me because you took my lousy calculator and left me with an even lousier calculator which has no letters on the keys so i cannot see where the hell the recall and the store and the M+ button is. i dont even know what the M+ button does but now i think i want to know where it is. you have obviously studied very long and hard with this calculator because all the numbers have faded off so please return me my calculator and give me some peace of mind before i fail all my exams.

ps : if the person who has taken this is any of my friends and not some anonymous evil calculator snatcher, the above message should translate to "hey guys, anybody seen a black calculator with "my lousy calculator" written on it? if you have please tell me okay? thank you!"

pps : even if you are an anonymous evil calculator snatcher, i'm sorry but i'm going crazy and hormones and exams do not make a very good combination and i am in the perfect mood to slap people around with staples taped to my fingers. so i did not mean all that stuff up there. gimme my calculator back.

| mando | 9:19 PM

-------------------

Thursday, September 04, 2003

today was a good day because today all we did was sit behind a desk and write a lot. no heating dangerous substances. no adding reagents until my hands were shaking so much that i thought that i had gotten alzheimer's. no desperate trying to remember what letter of the alphabet lead starts with when trying to find the bottle on the reagent table. the only bad thing was that to stop my shaky table from going all over the place i had to wedge my wallet underneath it and now there is a table-leg shaped cut in it. boy am i smart. my iq is through the roof. i need a new wallet. if anyone sees a really funky wallet lying around a shop, please buy it for me and i won't pay you back. sound like a good deal?

tomorrow we will have to squint through a microscope and then we will have a blissful one week break to cram everything that we have learnt in the past two years into our heads. man that sounds great! i'm so looking forward to that!

| mando | 4:53 AM

-------------------

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

and yesterday at starbucks they put a little table outside and had a little mooncake festival party for kids! there were american kids, japanese kids, japanese american kids, and a couple of singaporean kids who were the spawn of the people who make us coffee. they had little pink frappucino drinks to get the kids all hyperactive and psychotic, which wasn't too good an idea because the japanese lady with the japanese american kids had to put her kids on leashes to keep them from bashing through the wall into the hair salon next door. she had really cute leashes that had angel wings on the back which would have been a lot less cute if her kids didn't look like they should have been on ritalin. when i grow up and have a toddler and a cannotwalkyet baby, when i take both of them for a walk, i'm going to put the baby in the pram and harness the toddler to the pram. efficient harnessing of energy!

| mando | 11:46 PM

-------------------

today during chemistry practical i was so shitscared that i forgot to put up my heating screen and put on my googles. i was heating a whole bunch of stuff while sweating into my reagents and thinking to myself "damn its hot today!". i only remembered to put on my googles when i noticed the invigilator cheerfully deducting marks from number 0452 for incorrect procedure. my karma doesn't seem very good this week. maybe i should consult some fengshui book to improve my exam karma. they'd probably tell me to slap myself around with a large trout and perform my biology practical facing away from the microscope. help me God!

anyway on the way home i thought about sean connery some more and realised that he probably didn't talk that way when he was james bond. "the name'sh bondsh. jamesh bondsh. why wontch you shleep wish me, octupusshy?". someone who does that probably won't get much action.

| mando | 10:53 PM

-------------------

Monday, September 01, 2003

today was physics practical and after two hours of wrestling crocodile clips and dripping sweat all over my circuit i managed to draw one graph completely wrongly and also managed to calculate the ln values and scribble the whole graph out again in 5 minutes but without any intercepts. today was not a good day. but after the practical we went to be quarantined while eating some kind of wafer called "galak". sounds malaysian, has japanese words on the packet but is a product of brazil. what a good example to use on thursday if a GP question on globalization comes out!

so the only good thing about today was that caroline gave me 2 m&ms and printed some important chemistry notes for me (thanks blockhead!), someone sent me a bookmark of orlando bloom in the mail, and i had a nice conversation with my mom on the way home about why shawn connereh talksh like thish. tonight i will pray that i don't burn my face on a bunch of acid spewing out of a boiling tube during tomorrow's chem practical.