Monday, November 27, 2006

(from MZone wire reports) Columbus, OH -- The University of Michigan Marching Band remains trapped in Ohio Stadium as the hostage situation enters its second full week. The band was surrounded by jubilant Buckeye fans following Ohio State's 42-39 victory over Michigan on November 18th and have been held there ever since.

"At first we just thought they'd leave after celebrating for 19 straight hours. But when we entered day four, we knew we were in trouble. Especially once more beer arrived." said Tim Penderhaus, a senior trombone player from Grand Rapids, Michigan who was allowed to use a cellphone as long as he shouted "Fuck Michigan!" four times first.

President Bush is said to be closely monitoring the situation and his top aides say he continues to hope for a peaceful resolution to the stand-off. "While Ohio State remains a part of the Axis of College Football Evil, we still believe a diplomatic solution can be reached. But all options are still on the table, including bringing back John Cooper as head coach," said a White House official who spoke only on condition of anonimity.

When reached for comment regarding the ongoing crisis, Ohio State President Karen A. Holbrook claimed the press was only focusing on the negative instead of giving her and the school credit for protecting both goalposts on the field during the postgame melee. "People shmeople. The important thing was to protect goalposts. And we did that," said Holbrook. She then ended the conversation saying she and her staff had a full day planned of trolling Michigan Internet sites in order to post "1-5, bitches!" and "Owned!" over and over and over again.

Funny blog guys. Now all you need is the UofM busses to run out of gas on High Street and crashing in a rescue attempt. Then UofM could hire Spurrier and OSU would give up the hostages with their hands in the air, "Ok, ok, we give up!!!" before Spurrier puts a Reagan-esque beat down on 'em.

(quick off-topic question) Willinsacto - was that your blog that had the top "redonkulous" names of players in the SEC? I found the link to that person's blogsite from EDSBS and I can't remember where it was at now. I didn't see it on your blog just now when I checked, but then again I didn't use the "search" tool either.

Anybody know why the MMB was a no-show at the pregame concert at St. John Arena? The OSU announcer cited a scheduling conflict, but I'm betting they didn't want to endure that mob waiting outside. Too bad, because the two bands always put on a great show.

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