child support and your feelings. kinda long sorry

I ask these questions b/c 1. I'm a ftm 2. I've seen and heard some crazy things about it and 3. It's 2 am and I'm bored.
To me child support doesn't really support the child. I believe its something most bitter women do b/c they're not with SO. Another explanation is if the SO really doesn't contribute anything. My BIL and his child's mother live together and she put him on CS because they believe if his other childs mother files, hell pay less. My intelligence says they'll just split w/e it is he makes. Also if the father is involved, what is the purpose of putting him on CS. I think Leah from teen mom two has Corey on child support but he picks up his kids every week or so and contributes to their needs. So why should he have to pay and extra fee for them??? I've also experienced my own mother pay her bills, go out, and do whatever she wants with my brothers child support who's father is severely ill on dialysis 3x a week. So can I hear some intelligent feedback? From those who receive and actually use it for their kids or even those who disagree with me. I'm new to this and I need some insight.

Comments (140)

If I ever need to file for c/s I would and wouldn't care what anyone says or thinks because it would go straight to my kids not for me to go or take out other ppl but for my CHILDREN!! And I've seen it happen that the father agrees to pay and the first time he'll make the payment it happens the next payment oh he forgot 3 payment he forgot again then you hear how he's Dating someone and bought her a.ring and took her to the beach oh ya and is supporting her kids that's where I think going through the court is always better that's my opinion!!!

I've seen both sides but the court and child support systems are skewed towards mothers. And support varies from state to state. Here it is a percentage if bth parents incomes and what you could provide yr child w monthly not what actual child expenses including housing etc are which is what I feel would be fairer. The more both parents make the more the other pays. I have friends where the difference bt the custodial and noncostodisl parents custody was two days a month. Because if that two days it was a 400 difference. I know a guy friend who had full custody of one child and got 15 a month in support from the mom but shared custody of his other child and payed 900. So one child is worth that much more? I also have a girlfriend whose BD lives in another state and pays nothing bc if interstate relations and bc he quits his job everytime so he doesn't need to pay. Some people truly need the support others take advantage and there are flaws in every system.

I was a child of divorce and although my dad paid child support we struggled. My mom worked several jobs and spent every cent to keeping abroof over our heads and taking care of my brother and I. Not all women are bitter and selfish. Without that $ we wouldnt have made it and I dont believe my dad was ever bitter paying it bc he knew many mom always did used it for us

If this system is in any way skewed towards women, it's because women are typically (but not always) the main caretakers.

I live in Missouri and to determine child support amount you fill out a Form 14 (it's on Google). This takes into account both parents income, any court ordered child support/maintenance being paid to others, how many children each person has, child care costs, and medical/insurance costs.

It has nothing to do with one child being "worth" more than another. If you have a baby with Joe and he makes a million dollars a year, you are going to get more child support from Joe because if you were together his income would provide a certain lifestyle for your child. If you have a baby with John and he makes $7.25/hr, you are not going to receive as much because they can only take so much of his income for child support. You could have two kids, with two different dads (who make two different incomes) and receive entirely different amounts.

It's not about being bitter. It's about a responsibility for obligations. I didn't climb on top of myself and make my children. And seeing your kids every other weekend and buying them McDonald's while they think they're on some mini vacation is NOT the same as running a household with stability and love.

@Saved the Horse!, if a man doesn't want to support or have a relationship with his kid, then he needs to not make one. Wrap it up, get a vasectomy, or commit to celibacy. There's no excuse imo for not taking care of your child once you've made one.

I was raised by a single father, he was and still is my hero in this world. He worked his butt off to provide for my sister and I while my mother went out and lived a life of drugs and partying with biker gangs. She never once paid him child support, but he sure as hell deserved it. Problem was, she never had a job.

My point here is that child support has nothing to do with bitter women seeking revenge, the point of child support is to provide for the CHILDREN. If a human being makes a child, they are responsible for the upbringing of that child, end of story.

There's no 100% percent birth control method so there will ALWAYS be unplanned and accidental children. And it's funny that it's okay to make a man pay for a child he helped make but it's a womans choice"

TTCGraceLynn - I think you need to talk to an attorney. $36 for 2 kids per month would mean that the guy makes $130-$160 a month in my area. I highly doubt a judge would not demand the non-custodial parent get a better paying job. No one can live on that salary - period. My teenage dd can make that much in a month babysitting on Friday nights for a few hours.