There is no event too trivial for the fiefdoms of flackery to overlook - National Kahlua Day, anyone? - so as the Super Bowl approaches, our inboxes are filled with an astonishing range of drink suggestions, from the curious (Raven on the Rocks, promising until we noticed the grape-flavored vodka) to the appalling ("Super Bowl for the Ladies," which mostly involved Prosecco).

Amid this blitz of naggery, one important message was salvaged: Having a drink playbook for the big game is essential. Ours being a proper drinking town, a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon won't do, no matter how ironic your handlebar mustache.

Of course, as H.L. Mencken would have sworn, schooner of beer in post-deadline hand, Baltimore is also a serious drinking town. (We never got the Natty Boh thing, but Fritz Maytag is a genial guy and surely he'd ship out some extra Anchor Steam.) So getting your drink plans in order seemed essential.

This is in no way to dissuade you from good beer, and with prodding from the Yorks, the 49ers are getting as serious about serving good wine as a team can be. But this felt like a cocktail year.

The trick with a cocktail lineup for game day is to devise a progression of drinks that will carry you through the many highs (and, hopefully, few lows) of the day. They should be relatively easy, since you don't want to be distracted from the screen for too long, and as a host you want to look smooth, like Vernon Davis smooth, behind the bar. Tip: Most of these can be prepared in advance.

First quarter

If there's a time for a moment to cross the aisle to Ravens partisans, it's early on. I searched for a small dose of equanimity to the lineup, something from Baltimore's cocktail elite, but my searches led me to a Guinness-Tequila mix called the Train Wreck. Also the Baltimore Bang, a variation on whiskey sour that adds apricot brandy. While we hope both drink names have unintentional irony next Sunday, they hardly seemed like game drinks.

What, then, of the Harbowl? For two brothers, where else to turn but Two Sisters Bar and Books in San Francisco's Hayes Valley? I put to bar manager Michael Cecconi the challenge of coming up with a companion cocktail to his Two Sisters.

The result: Two Brothers, which is apropos in more ways than one. It actually invokes many brothers - of the monastic sort.

The Carthusians have been responsible since the mid-18th century for making the herbal liqueur Chartreuse, perhaps the most famous monastic product in the world. Then there's Benedictine, created in tribute to that order's abbey in the Normandy town of Fecamp. The "D.O.M." on every label - "Deo Optimo Maximo" ("To God, most good, most great") is even worthy of a Colin Kaepernick tattoo.

As Cecconi puts it, the drink involved "the holy brothers and the secular ones coming together to entertain us." He doubled down with barrel-aged bitters from Fee Brothers in Rochester, N.Y.

I'd also asked Cecconi if he could use rye. Credit where credit is due: Maryland has a long and proud history with America's other great whiskey, and in particular with a style that's a bit fresher than its Pennsylvania counterparts. Maryland rye was once a staple for bars across the land. There, perhaps, is our dose of amity.

Second quarter

Time for refreshment after brown liquor, and time to pay homage to the greatness of 19th century San Francisco, a theme immortalized even in the 49ers' name. This means the time of the Barbary Coast, of grand saloons and of pisco, the grape-based brandy imported at the time from Peru.

Pisco punch is one of our great contributions to the drink canon, ever since Duncan Nicol devised it at the Bank Exchange in the late 1800s, acceding to San Francisco's endless thirst for the spirit. And the pineapple is just right to wash down whatever salty snacks you've been hoovering since the pregame show.

While Peru is tradition, as a bonus you might seek out the pisco made by Fresno's Marian Farms (available locally at Cask). Consider this a tribute to Kaepernick - who, true enough, is from Turlock. But Fresno is a lot closer than Peru, and we'll add producing brandy to the things that we have over the Old Line State.

Third quarter

Time for a tribute to our host city, and what better spot than New Orleans, where drinking is virtually a civic duty? While a dose of absinthe in a proper Sazerac would help steel you for the return of GoDaddy ads, a more sessionable drink can be found in the Vieux Carré, named in tribute to the French Quarter, where it was invented at the Hotel Monteleone in the 1930s.

In the interest of bringing a bit of the West Coast to Louisiana, let's put a twist on that French Quarter classic. Hence the Nouveau Carré, which substitutes aged Tequila for the whiskey and cognac of the original. A bit of agave brings California into the mix, and also might help perk you up as the clock runs down.

Fourth quarter

Knock on wood, but let's make this a time to break out Champagne flutes - and to dial back on the hard stuff. I want you sharp-eyed as Kaepernick by the end of this.

What else does California have that Maryland doesn't? Citrus, which brings us to the Blood Orange Mimosa, a drink that has the virtue of being right in season.

Here's our reminder that while it might be the depths of winter, we have not only fresh local fruit but no snow (except in Tahoe, where it's wanted).

Also, this drink bleeds 49ers red. That's team spirit worth toasting.

Two Brothers

Makes 1 drink

From Michael Cecconi, Two Sisters Bar & Books, San Francisco. The recipe can be scaled up and made in advance (see instructions).

Instructions: Place all the ingredients, except the garnish, in a mixing glass. Add ice and stir for 35-40 seconds. Strain into a cocktail glass, and add garnish.

To make in advance, increase the amounts of ingredients as needed for desired number of servings. Add 1 ounce water per serving and stir ingredients without ice. Store in the freezer until ready to serve.

Note: Colorado's Leopold Bros. makes a rye in tribute to the historic Maryland style, which was brighter and more floral, and often containing more rye grain, than Pennsylvania-style ryes. Alternately, seek out a traditionally styled rye whiskey, like Rittenhouse.

Pisco Punch

Makes 1 drink

Adapted from a recipe by Chronicle "Cocktailian" columnist Gary Regan. The original pisco punch required pineapples and gum arabic; you can take a shortcut with juice, or aim for a more authentic version. The drink can be scaled up and made in advance (see instructions).

2 ounces Peruvian or California pisco

3/4 ounce pineapple juice or pineapple gum syrup (see Note)

3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice

Instructions: Place all the ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Fill two-thirds full of ice and shake for 20 seconds. Strain into a Champagne coupe.

To make in advance, increase the amounts of ingredients as needed for desired number of servings. Add 3/4 ounce water per serving, and shake without ice. Store in the freezer until ready to serve.

Note: Bay Area company Small Hands produces a pineapple gum syrup, available at local retail stores.

Nouveau Carré

Makes 1 drink

Adapted from a recipe by Jonny Raglin of Comstock Saloon in San Francisco. The drink can be scaled up and made in advance (see instructions). For the original Vieux Carré recipe, which, like Two Brothers, uses Benedictine, go to: bit.ly/UQQlJb

1 1/2 ounces añejo Tequila

3/4 ounce B&B liqueur

1/4 ounce Lillet Blanc

4 dashes Peychaud's bitters

1 lemon twist, for garnish

Instructions: Place all the ingredients, except the garnish, in a mixing glass. Add ice and stir for 20-25 seconds. Strain into a cocktail glass, and add the garnish.

To make in advance, increase the amounts of ingredients as needed for the desired number of servings. Add 2/3 ounce water per serving, and shake without ice. Store in the freezer until ready to serve.

Blood Orange Mimosa

Makes 1 drink

If you squeeze the blood oranges right before the game, or at halftime, this can be made in less than a minute.

1 ounce blood orange juice

4 to 5 drops Angostura bitters

1 dash Grand Marnier

-- Champagne, cava or other sparkling wine, to taste

-- Orange twist, as garnish

Instructions: Place all the ingredients, except the sparkling wine, in a Champagne flute. Top with sparkling wine - although too much, and your drink migrates from 49ers crimson toward Giants orange. Add the garnish.

Jon Bonné is The San Francisco Chronicle's Wine Editor. Find more of his coverage at sfgate.com/wine. E-mail: jbonne@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @jbonne