You know who really likes soccer? Er, football? The Brits, of course. Maybe that's why they went nuts when forward Wayne Rooney scored his first-ever World Cup goal on Thursday, tying the game with Uruguay 1-1 and launching a thousand memes because it's hilarious that Rooney scored. Don't ask me to explain that reason. I am not English.

Rooney is known for being excellent in club games, perhaps the country's best player. He's a member of Manchester United, an either universally beloved or universally hated team, depending on whom you ask. He's the third-highest scorer of all time in the club. Of all time! And yet the guy's had a curse on his head. He's played in two World Cups, and in both he has kind of embarrassed himself. And never scored a goal.