The Slacker Momhttp://www.theslackermom.com
Getting it done eventually since 2008Wed, 18 Feb 2015 15:00:55 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=This Feels…Weirdhttp://www.theslackermom.com/2015/01/27/this-feels-weird/
http://www.theslackermom.com/2015/01/27/this-feels-weird/#commentsWed, 28 Jan 2015 04:57:41 +0000http://www.theslackermom.com/?p=2397
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It’s been just over 4 years since the word “autism” was brought into our life. The boys have had many (MANY!) evaluations. They have logged countless hours of speech, and OT. They have graduated from an autism day treatment program, and they stand before me looking far different than they did on that December day, […]]]>

It’s been just over 4 years since the word “autism” was brought into our life.

The boys have had many (MANY!) evaluations. They have logged countless hours of speech, and OT. They have graduated from an autism day treatment program, and they stand before me looking far different than they did on that December day, when Early Intervention came for a speech evaluation.

Today, after 3.5 years of speech and OT, the boys have “graduated” from Fraser.

This is most likely just a break from speech and OT, and a much needed one. We are now mentally in a place where this seems like the right thing, the best thing, and we are not afraid of scaling back to “just” school, and the services they get there. I couldn’t say that two years ago. Who am I kidding? I couldn’t say that a year ago!

The absolute hardest thing for me, is leaving Lincoln’s amazing speech therapist. All of our therapists have been great, but Maureen has been with Lincoln since day 1. From early on, she was his “person”. It certainly wasn’t me or John. It was sometimes Grandma, but mostly Maureen. It took much longer for Lincoln to find his words, we were preparing ourselves for him to never talk. And it was really hard to imagine, considering Wyatt had started picking up sounds and words just a few months after starting ECSE.

But then, he started naming letters. And making more sounds. And then words. And then came the reading. Oh the READING! And now, we have a 6 year old who is constantly narrating life, navigating all of our adventures, and telling some very tall tales.

Today, as we walked from our car to the front door of Fraser, I remembered those first months, when they were not quite 3. The boys had to wear their backpack leashes just to get through the parking lot safely. I was an emotional mess at every session. Everything was overwhelming. Autism was scary.

I recognize that although they still have some issues in waiting rooms (Wyatt can’t walk by a reception desk without checking on the state of the computers), it’s really hard to leave the building without making a dash for the “big gym”, and they still have countless hurdles ahead of them…they have come a really long way. I have come a long way. Autism isn’t nearly as scary as it seemed in 2011.

I’ve talked about my love of perfume on a few occasions. It’s still going strong, and I’m still working through my list of scents I need to smell. I’m actually adding to that list every week. There is always something new, always something new to fall in love with. A lot of them are niche, or hard to find in the Twin Cities, but there is always something.

A few months ago, I came across a brand new subscription service called Scentbird.

For $14.95 I get an 8ml vial of the designer perfume of my choice, delivered right to my door. Because I never seem to be able to get anywhere other than Target, and dragging kids to the mall sounds about as fun as twisting a rusty fork in my eyeball, this works perfectly for me.

The first month I ordered Burberry Brit Rhythm for Her- and I fell instantly in love. It’s like a sexy, spiced up version of Burberry Brit, which I wore for years. This month I ordered Bulgari Rose Essentielle, which I think I might like more than Stella. Which seems almost blasphemous, as Stella kind of made smelling like roses, hip again.

Each vial is supposed to last for 30 days. I honestly have the majority of each vial left, because I don’t use the same perfume every day, and I don’t wear perfume every day (just most days), so I feel like I’m definitely getting my monies worth out of this service.

I’ve done a few monthly subscriptions in the past, and this is by far my favorite, and the only one I have stuck with for more than a month. I’m five months in, and I can’t see myself stopping unless they discontinue the service. I really hope they don’t, this is my little indulgence. Even my lattes get sucked down by the boys- this is just for me!

Interested in switching up your scent? Please- click my affiliate link. This isn’t a sponsored post, I just really love this, and thought I would share.

When you have such a hard time getting them out, you don’t buy 100 right out of the gate. You buy 50. And then 20. and then 10 (because there couldn’t possible be anyone else). and then you realize there are lots of anyone elses, and you buy 20 more. And then you get over it and start sending out regular cards without family photos.

This was the first rendition. It’s probably my favorite. Except for some reason the photos of Silas and Lincoln are switched here and look all weird. Oh well- they looked good on the actual cards.

It feels so good to be on top of things for a change, instead of dragging ass and not getting anything done. Christmas is pretty much going to rock this year.

]]>http://www.theslackermom.com/2014/12/20/merry-christmas/feed/0Perfume, and a Book Ravehttp://www.theslackermom.com/2014/08/29/perfume-and-a-book-rave/
http://www.theslackermom.com/2014/08/29/perfume-and-a-book-rave/#commentsSat, 30 Aug 2014 00:59:47 +0000http://www.theslackermom.com/?p=2388
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A few months ago, I joined a book club. I really needed an outlet that didn’t have anything to do with a) Autism, or b) parenting, and this was right up my alley. The books have been fun to read, the company has been great (we’ve only have one meeting, but still- awesome group!). The […]]]>

A few months ago, I joined a book club.

I really needed an outlet that didn’t have anything to do with a) Autism, or b) parenting, and this was right up my alley. The books have been fun to read, the company has been great (we’ve only have one meeting, but still- awesome group!). The thing with reading, at least for me, is that once I start, I can’t stop. I start seeing books I want to read everywhere I go. It certainly doesn’t help that a certain member of the group insists on posting new lists every few days. (I kid, I kid- I love the lists!)

Way back in 2007, I kind of stumbled upon the online perfume world. I fell. Hard. I was a review reading, decant buying, sample sniffing frag hag. I couldn’t get enough! And then I got pregnant, and promptly lost the ability to enjoy any of it. Over the next few years, my perfume addiction was traded in for a cloth diaper addiction. There have been a few purchases since having kids, but no late night scrolls through forums discussing the new releases or where to find a bottle of a discontinued signature scent*.

But, this book!

This book brought all of that back. It was like taking a trip down memory lane (although I admit she was much more hardcore than I ever was). I absolutely devoured this book. And then I promptly started trying to figure out what perfumes she was talking about in the book (she does not name them all), and then entered my fragrance wardrobe to Basenotes.

After six years of making babies, my nose is in perfect working order. I’m wearing a new scent every day, and I’m loving it. Well, except that Tarentella. That was a scrubber, right up there with Chanel No. 5 (I know. Blasphemy!). This book snapped me out of my mom funk- it gave me back a little piece of me, before kids. And I’m so thankful I stumbled back into this little world.

*Sensi- if you have a bottle of Armani Sensi wallowing at the bottom of a drawer, I’m your girl!

I’ve been saying it for a long time. Judah is by far, our hardest kid. He meets his milestones. He has conversations at a level far above that at which he should. He is polite. He is helpful. He is a loving cuddle bug who wants to be with me all. the. time.

I asked for a Mama’s Boy, and I got one.

But, 5% of the time (maybe 10% on a really bad week), he is so difficult, it makes both of us rethink this parenting gig altogether. The thing that works to put the kibosh on his particularly bad behaviors (shouting the F word at John for the duration of his well-visit comes to mind) is just not giving the behavior any attention.

None.

Not a raised eyebrow. Not a dirty look. Certainly not a verbal acknowledgement, time-out or other punishment. The second he knows he’s raised your blood pressure, even just a little bit, it’s like gas on the fire, and he’s going to keep going and going and going, and the bad behaviors start to snowball.

It’s really really HARD to ignore him when he gets into one of these cycles. It took us a long time to figure this out, it was hard to stick to long enough to see results, but it’s what works for him.

With the birth of El Blanco Pequito, the past two months have brought extra help to our house, an extra set of eyes on him, and probably most problematic as it pertains to this: an extra set of eyes on us and our skills as parents. I won’t lie, it’s harder to stick to your guns when grandma is right there expecting some sort of punishment to be doled out.

So, we’ve had a few really difficult weeks, some really terrible behaviors that have reared their ugly head that we thought were long since buried. We’ve snapped on multiple occasions, and the bad behavior fire is roaring. We completely abandoned our policy of ignorance, in an attempt to look like we were “doing something”.

Acknowledging the bad behaviors got us probably the most stressful 2 weeks of parenting so far, culminating in the above mentioned well-visit.

So, after many tears, lots of yelling, and talking to multiple professionals, we are back to our original plan.

Ignore it.

Aside from a few attempts at getting us to waiver (“Mom? What does…MUCK mean?”), things have been pretty calm the past few days.

This is far from the last parenting hurdle we will ever face, but it has taught us one thing- we know our kids. We know what makes them tick, we need to have faith in ourselves and our decisions, and not change tactics because we happen to have an audience.

(Let’s pretend I didn’t just completely neglect this space for the better part of the past year and jump right into the here and now, shall we?)

This kid joined our family:Silas
7 pounds, 11 ounces
20.25 inches

At first he looked like this:
All nice and pink*, and perfectly happy not impressed to be on the outside.

I got to keep him with me in the OR:
Is it bad that the only thing I could think of when I finally got to hold him was that his crying was probably distracting the doctors from doing their jobs and they were probably going to kick him out if he didn’t quiet down? Yeah, those were my loving thoughts in the moments after he was born.
Shhh!
Also: he looks like a blonde Wyatt!

I finally felt like a human being:
Those really crappy months of hyperemesis with the constant nausea, and the vomiting, and the IV poles, and the drugs?
Instant relief.
Let’s cuddle cute fat baby!
And order dinner.**

And this is you now:
Well, three weeks ago this was you. You have fatter cheeks now.

And this is what a house with 4 boys looks like:

We are so happy you joined us.

*And bloated from the copious amounts of fluids they pumped into me to keep my blood pressure from tanking during my c-section.

**I will have one of everything and I will inhale it.

]]>http://www.theslackermom.com/2014/04/29/so-this-happened/feed/1Queen of my Castlehttp://www.theslackermom.com/2013/11/05/queen-of-my-castle/
http://www.theslackermom.com/2013/11/05/queen-of-my-castle/#commentsTue, 05 Nov 2013 16:19:27 +0000http://www.theslackermom.com/?p=2374
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This is going to ramble a bit… Way back in July (August?) we decided we were just going to go ahead and announce this pregnancy so I could freely talk about it here. Of course that pretty much meant I would have all of the energy (and will) sapped from my body immediately and I […]]]>

This is going to ramble a bit…

Way back in July (August?) we decided we were just going to go ahead and announce this pregnancy so I could freely talk about it here. Of course that pretty much meant I would have all of the energy (and will) sapped from my body immediately and I would go months between posts because all I did was sit in bed and try not to be sick for weeks on end. I go weeks without sitting down at an actual computer. Blogging…HA!

I eventually ended up in the ER, and a few days later I started OB Home Care. Lactated ringers and a zofran pump became my lifeline.

After 3-4 weeks of IVs, I was able to stop them, and have been IV free for just over three weeks. They are extremely helpful when needed, but with three wild boys running around they were getting to be difficult to deal with. My veins have always been a bit tricky, and getting a good stick to begin with was not always easy. Getting them to last more than a day or two was even harder. Now that I’m to the point where I can eat (mostly) and drink (sometimes) we are working on keeping me from backtracking, and possibly weaning from the zofran pump.

Looking back, this is definitely the earliest we have had my hyperemesis under any sort of control. I will take it!

We are starting to talk about things like nursery decor. Something so simple, so obvious to someone who is having a “fluffy” pregnancy. But all those fun things you look forward to, they get lost in the shuffle when you are just managing an illness, trying to survive the day.

But we are there now.

I’m not 100%. I don’t know that I’m 75% or even 50%, but every day is not all bad. A corner has been turned.

And we just made it to the halfway mark!

Which brings me to our 20 week ultrasound. The BIG one. The one everyone looks forward to. Well, at least people who are wanting to find out if they are having a boy or a girl.

Having a house full of boys, I definitely wanted to know if I was going to be adding ruffles and dresses to our laundry pile.

I wore the same pink striped socks that I had worn to both of our previous 20 week scans. The tech joked that if I was looking for a girl I probably should have worn blue socks, they didn’t seem to be working any magic. The thing is, I kind of wanted another boy. A girl would have been welcomed and celebrated, obviously, but I just don’t see myself as a mom to girls. Lincoln was our lone hold out- if you asked him, he would tell you the baby in my belly was a girl. He would tell you her name was Hansel. He never wavered on his prediction. Everyone else said it was a boy, even if they were hoping deep down for a girl.

Even though I was silently rooting for a boy, I kind of loved the thought of Lincoln having some intuition and being the only one right on this. Lord knows *I* never feel any intuition when it comes to whether it’s a boy or a girl. I just guess based on what we have, and what I can eat (spicy, Mexican) compared to what I could eat in past pregnancies (spicy, Mexican).

Alas, it’s a boy.

Four boys.

I was almost relieved.

We all laughed when she moved the wand over his lower half and he spread his legs for a split second, just long enough for me to confirm that yes, he was definitely all boy.

Before I ever became a mom, I wished for boys.

I wished for Lincoln and Wyatt to be cute. I know. That was really the only wish I had? But they are definitely cute, for better or worse. I think they get away with more than they should because they can charm the socks off their teachers and therapists.

I wished for Judah to be a Mama’s boy. And I got that, again for better or worse. He was a completely different experience from his brothers, and I am grateful for that, although a few moments of downtime would have been very welcomed in the early weeks.

For this, our last baby, and the youngest boy, I am wishing for him to be calm. So far he seems pretty chill, I just hope he remains that way. We need a little bit of calm in this family.

So, kind of by default, and none of my own doing, I remain queen of my castle.

A rowdy, messy, noisy, castle.

A Boy Mom.

Oh, and Lincoln? He’s cool with another brother. He’s pretty sure his name will be Hazel.

]]>http://www.theslackermom.com/2013/11/05/queen-of-my-castle/feed/1Throwing a Great 1st Birthday Partyhttp://www.theslackermom.com/2013/09/08/throwing-a-great-1st-birthday-party/
http://www.theslackermom.com/2013/09/08/throwing-a-great-1st-birthday-party/#commentsSun, 08 Sep 2013 23:37:01 +0000http://www.theslackermom.com/?p=2367
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One thing that parents seem to look forward to with a new baby, is the big First Birthday. For us, it’s not as much about the kid, as it is about surviving that crazy, sleep deprived, year full of other firsts. With the twins, we went a little above and beyond what we would normally […]]]>

One thing that parents seem to look forward to with a new baby, is the big First Birthday. For us, it’s not as much about the kid, as it is about surviving that crazy, sleep deprived, year full of other firsts. With the twins, we went a little above and beyond what we would normally do (we went on a horse-drawn hayride), with Judah we just chilled at our house and had a BBQ with family. Whether you are planning something simple or lavish, I think we can all relate to this guest post!

For new parents, the 1st birthday of a child is a big deal. While you still have a long way to go with raising the kids, the first birthday party can be a fantastic way to celebrate your accomplishment.

That being said, although we’re celebrating the baby’s first birthday, it’s not like the baby’s going be mad about the cake flavor or the decorations. This event is more for the parents, family, and friends, when it comes down to it. Let’s talk about some creative, fun ideas to celebrate with the family and friends who’ve helped you along the way.

Outdoor ExtravaganzaYou’d be surprised about how great even a small backyard can be for a new family. If you have one, consider yourself lucky to be out of a cramped little condo that doesn’t even have a balcony. Let’s turn your backyard into birthday party central.

First, you need decorations. As you know, department stores have aisles and aisles of party decorations, for fairly cheap. Some personal favorites of mine are buying ribbons and centerpieces – these 2 commodities alone can cover an entire backyard and tables for a very low price.

If you’re planning on having the party into the night, Party Lights has a wide selection of commercial string lights in all lengths and colors. Tip: intertwine the ribbon in the string lights – thank me later).

Finger Foods and Craft BeersAgain, the baby isn’t the one eating the BBQ and drinking the beers – make sure you have a nice selection of drinks and spirits for guests, who will probably be parents and relatives who would love a cooler of good beer and maybe some mixed drinks.

This one’s easy – bring out a cooler, get some ice, and I’d probably recommend buying some “party pack” beers, cases that already have a variety. Be sure to pick up some mixed drinks mix, maybe some soda and a handle. Your guests are sure to feel appreciated with a nice drink selection.

As for finger foods, I’m sure there are a million and half online articles about which ones are the best for you, so I won’t go into detail. If you have a bbq, some burgers and hotdogs are classic, as well as some simple pizza and wings. Remember – don’t forget the guac.

The Grand Finale – Cake TimeIf your baby isn’t asleep by now, then good for you! He might just be conscious enough to appreciate the glowing light-thing on the plate in front of him. If you’re a baker, skip the store-bought and make your own. C’mon – everyone loves cake, and there’s nothing worse than a birthday party cake that is either 1. too small, or 2. tastes weird.

While I’m all for lemon meringue and upside-down pineapple, these exotic cakes might be too much on some occasions. Go with a nice vanilla or chocolate to keep everyone happy and clamoring for a slice.

Make your child’s 1st birthday something to remember, both for them and your guests. Be sure to take notes – you never know when your next “1st birthday” might be!

On Friday, I had the earliest ultrasound I have ever had. My due date was moved back two days, I got to see our teeny tiny, and hear a little heartbeat. It was awesome.

I’ve been sinking into that constant nausea that slowly takes over and envelopes every movement, every breath, every second of the day. I have that tell-tale sickly sweet taste in my mouth that I can’t get rid of, and I’m starting to lose interest in eating and drinking.

I hate this part.

It’s coming, I know it is. I just want it to get here and not be sitting in endless nausealand. As much as Hyperemesis sucks, vomiting brings temporary relief. I’m going to ask for my prescription for Zofran tomorrow, but that doesn’t touch the nausea, so I know it won’t make a difference at this point.

Yesterday we decided, at the drop of a hat, to take the boys Up North to take our annual photo of the boys walking down the road to the lake. I’ve taken this photo every year, and I wasn’t going to miss this year. We usually stop and take pics with the Walleye in Garrison, but the breakwater is undergoing some construction and the Big Fish was moved to across the road and had a big plastic sign tied to it. We skipped that photo op this year.

After we got home from our whirlwind roadtrip, I pretty much went right to bed. And I stayed there all night, and most of today. Thank God Yogi Dad is as awesome as he is. I feel terribly guilty for taking the time to rest and be horizontal, but I may as well do it when I have the chance.

The fact of the matter is, Hyperemesis is the one thing that has held us back from adding another kid to this family until now. It’s pure hell, and I would be lying if I said I had any clue how we are going to get through this. The first time, we had no other obligations other than work. I could lay on the couch all day and it didn’t matter. The second time, we had a nanny. The boys hadn’t yet been diagnosed (hell, there wasn’t even an inkling that anything was going on) so there was no school or rehab or Day Treatment. There was always an extra pair of hands to help. This time around, we have a full schedule of places to be, every day. No extra hands.

But, we’ve been through it before. We can do it again. I’m not quite sure how it will work if I need to go in for IV fluids, but we will figure that out as it comes. I might have to *ask* friends for help! I’m not good at doing that. Again, I will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Bottom line- we are having a baby, and we are excited as hell!

]]>http://www.theslackermom.com/2013/07/28/o-oh-here-she-comes/feed/2You know what they say about plans…http://www.theslackermom.com/2013/07/20/you-know-what-they-say-about-plans/
http://www.theslackermom.com/2013/07/20/you-know-what-they-say-about-plans/#commentsSat, 20 Jul 2013 19:41:46 +0000http://www.theslackermom.com/?p=2361
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35 is tricky. At least it seems to be for me. On one hand, we are finally in a house, feeling settled. On the other hand, my body is starting to rev up for the big change. Or so I thought. Apparently the ladies in my family all have biological clocks that expire in the […]]]>

35 is tricky. At least it seems to be for me.

On one hand, we are finally in a house, feeling settled.

On the other hand, my body is starting to rev up for the big change. Or so I thought.

Apparently the ladies in my family all have biological clocks that expire in the early to mid thirties. I know this because when I was 29 and just starting to contemplate having a kid, my mom warned me I might not have as much time as I imagined.

So, although I was shocked and saddened to find Shark Week popping up every 21 days out of nowhere, I wasn’t surprised. I hoped it was caused by the stress of moving, but my brain was just screaming “YOU ARE 35! THIS IS IT!”. It felt like a big, red, flashing, light over my head, and Google was never very helpful at easing my fears. (Is Google EVER helpful at easing fears?”) I pretty much cried my eyes out for an entire weekend.

I made an appointment for my yearly exam, and I noted that I was having some big irregularities with my period, and they allotted for extra time to discuss that and run tests with my midwife. And then I waited. And then my appointment got cancelled because she was at a birth (first time ever in 9 years, so I can’t complain). And then I waited some more.

While I waited, I promptly freaked out. Big time.

Our original plan was to start trying to conceive in September, and all of a sudden it felt like my uterus was abandoning me. Closing up shop. Right when things were just as they should be. What a cruel twist of fate this was.

Never being one to sit around and let nature take it’s course, I switched gears. What was 2 months in the grand scheme of things?

In my mind, it was a done deal. My chance was gone. The sand had emptied from the proverbial hourglass.

No more babies.

So really, what did we have to lose?

Throw the plan out the window. Make a new plan!

We pulled the goalie.

And then I calmed down a little bit. Whatever happens, happens. What will be, will be.

I started testing on July 4th. That would have been the first day to get a positive test if my cycle was still in fact, short.

Negative.

I tested on the 7th.

Negative.

On the 11th I was playing around with my phone, adding apps, and I clicked on the My Days app and it suggested I might be pregnant. With no sign of my interloping aunt showing up, I went downstairs and took the last test.

Fast forward to yesterday, and me explaining to my midwife that the Peri-menopause discussion was off the table for the time being. In fact, I needed a pregnancy test.