Sunday, July 15, 2012

A microscopic outlook

Before I begin this entry, I must preface that I have most
recently created a new email folder titled “News” in my Microsoft Outlook and though
its content is currently sparse, it is a new folder nonetheless (and I do not
make folders without reason). Times are changing, as are my Microsoft Outlook
Email folders. Also, I’m realizing that the content of my “Class” folder
(containing countless emails from professors and drafts of papers) will
expectantly fill with new content in the near future as well. Not just new content
in the sense of new class e-mails, but also in the sense that my new classes will
reside in new fields considering my change of majors which occurred
approximately 3 days ago. Outlook gives proverbial insight into my life and
also into how much this summer experience has perhaps changed what messages I
will send and receive in the future (It’s all clear now – Microsoft meant for “Outlook”
to actually be the proverbially way of looking out on one’s life…).

Well,
the insides of my real, everyday folders of life are currently overflowing with
information, so much so that I have had to resort to these email folders I
suppose. If I could imagine what I would write on the cover of these three
imaginable folders inside my head, one would read “Stuff I think I kind-of
understand,” another “Stuff that I don’t really understand but can get by,” and
the third most worn-down folder would read “Rats.” It would not read rats just because
rats seem to enter their way into my D.C. life quite frequently, but rather
because I often says rats as a reaction to something that really doesn’t make
sense (or literally… R.A.T.S. could be the equivalence of Really And Truly Shocking…
for better or for worse).

Would
it be correct to say that as my folders have grown, I have grown as well? That
is neither here nor there. Rather, what is here, is the concrete:

I
can say that I can now give insight into contemporary Cuba, which Congress
members are for and which are against the end of the 53-year-old trade embargo
and travel ban, and my own personal opinion regarding our U.S. policy on Cuba.
When my email receives every Google alert that’s written on “Cuba” (even those
regarding Cuba Gooding Jr., not to mention Cuba, Missouri), it would be an
unfortunate situation had I not acquired this taste and insight on Cuba. On
another work note, I have acquired a taste for Mexico, Colombia, Honduras, and
other Latin American countries as well. The flavor has been quite bold, strong,
consistent, and often times unfulfilling in the sense that there does not seem
to be a way to make the taste less distasteful.

Another
budding flavor is the fact that I sent an email to the registrar at a ripe 3
a.m. Friday morning notifying them that I was changing my major. Although
keeping my Hispanic Studies major, I am dropping my 3-year-long English major
as to make room for more international relations courses. Indeed I have drank
the international relations Kool-Aid, and will be drinking more into the next
year. Maybe I have drunken too much too fast, especially in light of a seminar
week with speakers who work in foreign policy, and it sure is an addictive
taste. I will “cheers” to my new decision and only hope that I will be “cheers-ing”
at the end of next year.

The
cherry on top on all of this savory food would have to be the people I’m
surrounded by and how much flavor they add to each day here. I’m not just
talking about the people at hearings, the professionally dressed in the streets,
nor the senator living next door. Rather, I’m talking about those other 14
CSB/SJU students in this program. The ones who inspire me each day to learn
more, to succeed, to follow my passion as they are all so clearly doing. I love
meeting people who truly love what they do, and being around that each day when
I come home from work could not bring a better environment to learn what
motivates them, what they are working toward, and what they are hoping lies in
store for them in their futures. These Bennies and Johnnies walking on their
own paths, have shared some of it with me for the time being and have left me
to discover politics like they have. This means reading, asking questions,
promoting lively discussion, and then living out what they believe in each day.
Talk about leaving a taste in one’s mouth (in this case one that is most tasty
and conducive for growth… like a fine wine perhaps).

So
with a priceless food that touches the taste buds and the soul, possibly being
thought of as cookie dough (Sometimes it makes you sick, but you eat it anyway.
You only eat it when you’re very sad or very happy and never regret it. Not to
get all mushy, but the care that goes into making cookie dough with loved ones
really determines whether a batch is good or not), I certainly feel full at the
end of a day. There are never enough folders for the amount of learning that
takes place, both on the work site learning about foreign policy issues and
when I come home to learn about what all these other characters learned about
during their days. It is with thanks to folders, taste buds, and great people
that I am able to process this D.C. world, and I cannot express more thanks. All
that made this possible are very much appreciated.

Have
I grown by being here? How does one measure growth? In money, stature,
laughter, or how about silence? It is in those moments of silence where I truly
taste a moment that I have grown the most. Perhaps it is a silence “rats”
moment. And with that, cheers to the hum of the air conditioning and more
silence to come.