Nixon and Brezhnev (yes, it's that old) had a footrace against each other. Nixon won. Pravda reported, "in a footrace, Brezhnev was within one place of winning, and Nixon placed second-last."andA jew applies for a job as a woodcutter. "Do you have any experience?""I worked in the Sahara Forest.""You mean the Sahara Desert.""Yes, now."

After queuing for four hours a man in a butcher's shop complains about the new regime because there are no sausages left.The guard comes over and says, "The old regime would have had you shot for complaining."The man says, "Oh shit, are we out of bullets as well?"