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I lost You!!

I used to write poems some years back which I remember I started writing when I learnt making some sort of rhymes during primary school . Thenafter I wrote poems about lots and lots of things. More often I wrote about whatever I saw around me and what striked me. I remember myself writing sometimes about politics, sometimes about lives, sometimes about the pictures, my home, my school, my friends and many more things. I lost most of them still I have a good collection of some of them. I haven’t turned over those pages last some years. I don’t know why! I just don’t know why I can’t write so easily these days. I have lots and lots of matters to write about these days rather. But I don’t know why I don’t write or say why I can’t jot them down.
Last year, I wrote some poems about myself since I have been much self centered and have some sort of frustration in my mind which I haven’t been able to ommit out. Yes, they were about about my relationships, more precisely a relationship. Yes, it was related to love in fact but I could never turn those poems and some other stuffs I wrote into some romantic things people could read and they were like some insane expressions which my friends could not understand so easily. They needed some sort of interpretations which I did sometimes and sometimes I just had fun when they didn’t understand. In fact lately I wrote most of them for my own satisfaction and yes, I addressed them to you. Do you remember something? I have told you that whatever I wrote for you. If not, I wrote about you. And I enjoyed writing them, about you and for you though I could never let you read them. Yes, you have read some of them, but they are just exceptions.
These days I just don’t feel like writing something. Because people misunderstand me. People call tragedy when i write about some sort of romantic matters and when i write about some tragedic moments then they take it as else. You can easily access to those what I write if I do. But what makes me sad is even you don’tunderstand them. Its pathetic for me. May be I started expecting more from you. I am sorry.
I recall those days time and again. I felt like I don’t want anything from you. I expected nothing at all from you but some words, that would make me feel that I am not wrong. Those words would make me happy. I wanted to be happy talking to you when possible which would make me happy whole day sometimes a week. Unfortunate me!! You talked to me, made me happy but only god knew you were pretending to be talking to me.
These days I can’t find any favorable topic to write about. Yes, there are many but I can’t fugure them out. You know why? Because I lost you (though I never had you). And you were my topic to write about. You are just lost somewhere, I think I would never find you anywhere.

One response to “I lost You!!”

I know exactly what you mean, as writers we sometimes rely upon the feelings that others stir in us. It is very hard not to just hang on to those but in time we learn to get our inspirations from many other places, people or circumstances. I hope you find your inspiration soon, write every day, in time you will emerge.

Thank You for your kind words.
This blog is what I started to keep myself busy.
Keep on checking me.