Well then, "a little bean" is it Carlo's? Or is it Dekker's? I have not read this in a while, but then again you have not posted in a while, in good right, I dohope you enjoy yo!ur new living quaters, best of luck in Georgia

And they grow on me as a pair. They would be the ultimate bad ass power couple if it could ever work out. For someone she can't stand half of the time she really did try to get him out of a tight spot. I can see why they warned her about Dr. Baker. I can understand his motivations, but that doesn't make me like him.

Believable characters with believable motivations. You truly have outdone most authors on this site. It would be interesting to see where this story would progress given the opportunity.

Wow, and here I was just complimenting you for things happening in the background and you have a whole underground lab going on. It's nice to see an author that actually incorporates background action and keeps it going. It's so common to see one thing or two happen but it isn't as common for whole story lines to be playing out in the background. I applaud your planning and effort in making a much more believable story.

Landon O'Connell really has grown on me. It's nice to see that his powers of observation aren't perfect. I hate characters that can perfectly read every person and scenario. While it's not nice what happened because of it, it is nice to see that he was wrong about something.

And O'Connell goes down fighting. It was foreshadowed in the previous chapter but it's nice to see that he didn't scream like a girl.

I kinda hope Carlo does kill Erin, but I doubt it will happen.

The tension between the characters is tangible, I like that in a story. Its always good to see that things are happening behind the scenes and the characters aren't just waiting in the wings until they have to do something on the main stage.

Foreshadowing. That's always a nice technique. Now the question remains is it going to be O'Connell that is or isn't trustworthy? I like how it was left open for interpretation, at least a little bit. I had to read the line a couple of times and I'm not sure which way I like it best.

A stolen kiss. I think I like that one more than the first kiss with Simon. It wasn't intentional but it was rejected.

O'Connell is kind of annoying. He just pops in with his insight and expects everyone to believe him. Something about his characterization would make me not sad if he should be eaten.

The whole lack of detail thing is kind of annoying with his viewpoint though. He mentions their casual touches as does she, but it wasn't mentioned beforehand. It was only mentioned after it changed. Kind of threw me off for a minute.

Complications to make it seem more realistic. Nice addition of a now-dead wife and daughter.

Napalm the city... sounds like a bad idea. I know something like that was mentioned in World War Z. That idea is always so much better in theory than in practice. I like how your showing that not everything that was done to stop the spread worked.

Jealousy! I love jealousy! He hasn't made a move and feels he can get jealous. Guess he's going to make one soon. The buildup with the men in her life is great. I hate those stories where the girl drops her pants in two seconds for every guy that looks her way.

The addition of a second language does add some depth to del Bianco, I like it. Maybe it's just my background in languages, but the addition of someone who speaks more than one adds depth to the story. Also shows that you thought a little bit more than usual about your characters.

A girl that has a thing for soldier boys. It's good that she has a particular flavor. She is more believable with one. I'd want to figure him out too, in the end of the world you can't just go down to the local bar and pick up a new boyfriend.

I am glad to see him back in the story, I kind of figured he'd end up back in it. It was good foreshadowing of things to come. Intentional or not you wonder about the people they see in passing and it's nice when they show up again.

The information network that seems to be built up in the background of the story is a nice addition. It helps add to Lynn not being the center of the universe. Stories where the character is involved in everything seem less realistic.

I like the added impact of her situation. People would kill her for what she is. Labs would want to test her, if they existed.

The layers of things that are playing their parts in this tale are definitely something that adds to the story. There are so many subtle things and that just makes it a better read.

I also like that you added a gay man into your story. He might not be a major player, but he exists. So many authors just ignore that which isn't the norm.