Three counts: Perjury, Obstruction of Justice, and Conspiracy to Intimidate White People By Wearing Racially-Inflammatory Hats. Prosecutors are mulling the additional charge of Aggravated Haberdashery.

Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, a one-time rising star and Detroit's youngest elected leader, was charged Monday with perjury and other counts after sexually explicit text messages contradicted his sworn denials of an affair with a top aide.

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy also charged the popular yet polarizing 37-year-old mayor with obstruction of justice and misconduct in office.

Former Chief of Staff Christine Beatty, 37, who also denied under oath that she and Kilpatrick had a romantic relationship in 2002 and 2003, was charged with perjury and obstruction of justice.

"Some have suggested that the issues in this case are personal or private," Worthy said. "Our investigation has clearly shown that public dollars were used, people's lives were ruined, the justice system severely mocked and the public trust trampled on. ... This case is about as far from being a private matter as one can get."

The charges could signal the end of Kilpatrick's six-year career as mayor of one of America's largest cities.

Perjury is a felony, punishable by up to 15 years in prison. A felony conviction would mean Kilpatrick's immediate expulsion from office under the Detroit City Charter. Calls for his resignation have surfaced since late January and the Detroit City Council asked him to step down last week.

Kilpatrick was to hold a noon news conference but had not yet appeared and his office and lawyers were not commenting. A message seeking comment from Beatty's attorney, Jeffrey Morganroth, was not returned.

Kilpatrick has said he would not resign and last week said he expects to be vindicated when all aspects of the scandal are made public.

Now I want you to all to listen to me, this one time. I did not. Have. Murderous relations. With that woman.

Although I can't tell, I am 99.9% sure the charges are only connected to his affairs in office and not directly to widespread suspicions he had something to do with the death of a stripper, so that last quip isn't exactly on-point.

Still. Those hats. They're practically a confession. It's like he wants to get caught.

Thanks to krakatoa, CJ, and many more.

Will Wonders Never Cease: Hot Air's last link notes that Reuters -- Reuters!!! -- actually mentions Kilpatrick's party affiliation... in the headline.

Wow.

PS, just so no one thinks I'm Stealy McStealerton, I was tipped to this a while ago. Yeah, I could have just thrown it up. But I had to find those hat pictures.