Preamble: Will Marseille tonight become the first French team ever to win at Anfield? No. Have they at least managed to bring their jerseys with them, something they failed to do for their last match, which is why they ended up facing Auxerre in Auxerre's third kit, a hideous brown and pink number that looked like it came out of a salmon's derrière? Losing to Jean Fernandez's Auxerre is humiliating at the best of times, losing to them looking like that is the sort of ignominy that should send heads rolling, in addition to stomachs turning. Which, along with the other awful displays that constitute OM's miserable start to the season, is why manager Albert Emon was solemnly marched to the nearest guillotine last week.

The question, then, is can new gaffer Eric Gerets trigger an immediate turnaround and avoid annihilation at Anfield? This time two weeks ago he was out working on his farm, having been sacked by Galatasary, and shovelling dung may soon start to seem an attractive option compared to attempting to restore confidence and cohesion to OM and wangle respectable performances out of the wayward likes of Djibril Cissé and Bolo Zenden. Samir Nasri's continued absence won't help, and nor will constant, wildly optimistic references to the only other Belgian to manage OM, Raymond Goethals, who guided them to their totally discredited 1993 Champions League triumph.

The answer, I suspect (though admittedly I write this before having seen the line-ups, so am not sure that Rafa Benitez hasn't left out all his best players to keep them fresh for the Carling Cup), is no. 3-0 to Liverpool, with Dirk Kuyt being made to look deadly - now that's the ultimate humiliation.

Team news: Marseille parked Cissé on the bench, possibly because he's still carrying that leg knock that kept him out of training till Monday, more likely because he's been plod all season. Mamadou Niang looks like he'll be a lone striker.

Liverpool, meanwhile, field an attacking side, with Fernando Torres and Peter Crouch starting up front and Alice Cooper look-alike Yossi Benayoun probing sneakily behind them. There'll also be another chance to check out Argentinian youngster Sebastian Leto, who doesn't look anything like Alice Cooper but does share a name with a Greek goddess (and I sure don't mean Nana Mouskouri, rather I mean, er, Leto, obviously).

7:36pm: Some pre-emptive whingeing from Glen Kristensen: "It will be interesting to hear the criticism of Leto's inclusion in the team [See farther down the page] in tomorrow's papers if Liverpool lose won't it... actually no, it won't sorry, it will be horribly predictable, as will the lack of mention for his inclusion be if Liverpool win."

7:40pm: Sky are flitting between Anfield and Celtic Park. Both venues are currently reverberating to the sound You'll Never Walk Alone ... and the Celts' rendition of it is so stirring it's even convinced Rangers berserker Graeme Souness to declare: "I think they'll beat Milan tonight."

7:43pm: The sacking of Emon is not enough to placate OM fans, it seems, as dozens of them are waving banners demanding "Dirigeants dehors!" (literal translation: "Directors out!"; emotional translation: "Albert was a nice guy, why don't the bozos who kept this great club in chaos for the last 12 years take a hike instead!?")

1 min: Liverpool set the game in motion, and immediately put the visitors on the back foot.

2 mins: Taiwo deflects Gerrard's free-kick out for a corner, and then nods that clear too, at the near post.

4 mins: Aurelio pumps one long for Torres. At least I think it was intended for Torres, but maybe he's just a nice guy and really did mean to present the ball back to goalkeeper Mandanda.

7 mins: Liverpool's early pressure quickly dissipated and Marseille have been dinking the ball around daintily over the last few minutes. The closest they've come to troubling Reina, however, was when the Spaniard had to scamper out off his line to boot clear a clever Valbuena through-ball.

11 mins: Gerrard swings a long-free kick towards the penalty spot, where Cana rises to butt it well clear. "SCHOOL'S OUT for Marseille as they wade into a KILLER of a match with the BILLION DOLLAR BABIES Benitez has bought for Liverpool," guffaws none-too-subtle Alice Cooper fan Ed Brickett, before, inevitably, continuing: "But will they wear the victor's crown or a HALO OF FLIES? I'd say Liverpool have the Frenchmen UNDER THEIR WHEELS, as it's NO MORE MR. NICE GUY for Gerrard and co. So, with a HELLO! HOORAY! Let the match begin!" In fairness, readers, don't tell me that didn't get you tapping your feet, eh? (And maybe even raising your fist and yelling? Honk!).

14 mins: Niang's never been the most nimble striker, but he's just twisted lithely past Carragher only to be barged to the ground by the centreback - but the referee waves play on! Liverpool clear, but then Aurelio is caught in possession on half-way and Ziani slips a nice ball through to Niang, who hammers it low and hard ... but straight at Reina. Best chance of the game so far, though. After a vibrant start, Liverpool are looking decidedly disjointed and their passing has been sloppy. They could have killed this Marseille's side's confidence early doors but instead have allowed the beleaguered visitors to gain encouragement. They may regret that ...

18 mins: Gerrard booked for a clumsy taking out Cheyou (Benoit, brother of Liverpool legend Bruno) - he got the ball but followed through on the man. Meanwhile, the atmosphere at Anfield is well lively, but all the noise is coming from the Marseillais, who are bouncing up and down in the pouring rain - and they almost had a goal to cheer as Bonnart headed over from seven yards.

21 mins: Rodriguez concedes a free-kick about yards outside the box after a clumsy foul on Crouch. Aurelio attempts to float in into the area ... but hits the referee instead!

25 mins: Marseille continue to dictate proceedings, and their ambition has grown - Valbuena has joined Niang up front to form a front two. Leto, for those of you who are interested, is a lot like lot like former Czech president Vaclev Havel: he doesn't appear to have been on the pitch at all.

30 mins: Liverpool are playing too many long balls, rendering Leto and Benayoun redundant. The punts, even when reasonably precise, have been comfortably repelled by the French defence. A 30-yard shot from Gerrard has just trickled into the keeper's arms.

34 mins: Ooooh! Marseille methodically carved Liverpool open just there, working the ball thoughtfully around the pitch before feeding Taiwo wide on the left. In ample space, he fired the ball across the face of the goal and Niang surged past Hyypia to sidefoot it into the net from six yards ... but Reina saves brilliantly! Ziani slots home the rebound, only to see that the assistant referee had flagged for offside - incorrectly. Lucky Liverpool.

38 mins: Olés from the Marseille faithful as their team snap the ball around with ease, making a mockery of the home side. The nervous gasps from the Liverpool fans are matched by the increasingly jittery performances by the players in red.

41 mins: After Sissoko, showing rare signs of life, wins the ball in the middle, he taps it sideways to Leto, who attempts to release Torres but overhits his pass. Marseille resume their demonstration, picking their way through the home side before Niang split the defence and found Valbuena ... who had strayed offside.

44 mins: Aurelio and Leto combine well to curtail a Ziani break - but the referee then awards Marseille a soft free-kick, suggesting Leto raised his leg too high. The Fortunately for fans of justice, the French waste the free.

Half-time:So far, a strangely subdued Liverpool have been outclassed by a strangely slick Marseille, who would deservedly be in front if Ziani's goal had not been incorrectly disallowed for offside. Benitez needs to find a way for his team to gain control of midfield, which has been dominated by Marseille. They've tried bypassing it with lofted punts, but the French defence have coped easily. Otherwise he's on course for another scoreless home draw - at best. "Liverpool's midfield just haven't been in it ... the two strikers are having to rely on long balls," groans a very grumpy Graeme Souness on Sky. Message to Sky headhunters: I've been blurting precisely that for most of this half and am available for a fraction of the fee Souness probably commands. Food for thought, eh? Message to Liverpool FC headhunters: At this point I would withdraw Crouch and throw on Voronin, and instruct my charges to try to thread the ball forward to Torres via the Ukranian or largely ignored Benayoun. I am certainly available for a fraction of the fee Benitez commands.

46 mins: Perhaps eager to differentiate himself from me, though probably not, Benitez has made no changes during the interval. Nor has Gerets.

48 mins: As the first-half pattern resumes, Benitez instructs Riise to warm up. "But Paul, do you have Souness's air of latent menace, or the history of dodgy facial hair?" wonders Nathan Smith. Well, Nathan, I may never have got sent off in an Old Firm derby in my very first match as player-manager, instigating a mass brawl in the process, nor have I ever invited insults and much, much worse from half of Istanbul by provocatively sticking a Galatasaray flag in the centre-circle before a derby meeting with Fenerbahce, but I can certainly be menacing. OK, I can't. But I do have dodgy facial hair. Indeed, it's even be said I have a dodgy face.

51 mins: Niang and Zenden one-two their way through the heart of Liverpool's defence before Niang hammers a low shot straight at Reina from the edge of the box. If the Senegalese striker's aim was truer, Marseille would certainly be in front by now. And that's Benitez's cue to take off Leto and throw on Riise.

54 mins: Still the Liverpool crowd sit in worried silence as the French visitors sing the praises of their team, who continue to show greater precision, imagination and composure. This is a bad, bad Liverpool performance. "I don't normally watch Sky but I am tonight," announces Dan Penny. "Since when did they start doing ads in the middle of the 15 minute break? The panel only had to comment for about 45 seconds. Is that it? Hardly worth Glenn Hoddle getting dressed up in his chunky blue carpet suit." I think you find ads have been commonplace on Sky for quite some time, Dan. And I have to disagree with you about Hod's suit: it's always worth wearing something as extraordinary as that. It is its own reward.

58 mins: Crouch controls a long pass from Finnan well, turns inside and provides Torries with a rare pass to feet. The Spaniard is so shocked he mis-hits his own attempted pass to Gerrard.

61 mins: Liverpool has jacked up the tempo a touch and beginning to exert some pressure. Mandanda had to rush off his line a moment ago to clutch a Finnan cross. That - virtually the first team the OM keeper has had to do anything other than admire his team-mates passing - is enough to stir some passion from the Liverpool fans, who finally burst into song. 64 mins: Carragher booked for pulling down Valbuena about 30 yards from goal. He was completely outfoxed by the 23-year-old. Niang's shot from the resultant free-kick was a decent one, but Reina saved comfortably.

66 mins: After Torres twisted into the box and was engulfed by three defenders, the ball squirted out to Gerrard, who let fly from 25 yards and yelped in frustration as his venomous shot flashed just side.

69 mins: Excellent move by Marseille, with the very impressive Valbuena again at the heart of it. Ultimately all it led to was two corners, both of which were delivered shoddily by Ziani.

72 mins: Niang is withdrawn and replaced by Cissé, who is greeted with warm applause by the Liverpool fans. Voronin, meanwhile, has come on for Aurelio. Riise will switch to left-back, with Voronin taking up residence on the left-hand side of midfield, though he will doubtless drift. And that's what needed because Liverpool have been all-too-predictable and ineffective so far.

73 mins: Another long Liverpool ball, another offside flag for Crouch. "Gerrard's like one of those tigers that's killed a man and developed a taste for more," observes Chris Bond, before adding astutely: "There'll be broken legs and a red card before the night's over if he doesn't calm it down a bit."

75 mins: At last an incisive pass from Liverpool, Benyaou picking out Torres clever run beautifully. But Givet slid in to divert the Spaniards shot out for a corner. Hyypia charges in to meet that corner, and nods it narrowly wide. Heartening for the Anfield mob. With that, Kuyt comes on in place of Crouch. I'm not sure whether that's quite so heartening.

76 mins: Bonnart dispossess the extremely disappointing Sisoko in midfield and tees up Cissé. With no one in front of him, Cissé opts to shoot with his left foot from the edge of the box and scuffs his shot embarrassingly.

77 mins: Liverpool 0-1 Marseille Superb goal from the best player on the pitch! Sissoko lost the ball ten yards from his own box. Valbuena and Zenden exchanged slick passes before the former curled it wonderful shot past Reina from 25 yards ... and in off the bar! If that doesn't wake Liverpool up, only electrotherapy will.

80 mins: Riise raids down the left and fizzes in a low cross that Givet stoops to head .. straight back to Riise. The Norwegian tries a higher cross, but Mandanda comes to claim it.

84 mins: Valbuena, exhausted from his outstanding performance, not to mention his wild celebrations after the goal, is withdrawn in place of Wilson Oruma, who was once hailed in Nigeria as the new Jay-Jay Okocha.

86 mins: Marseille are starting to sit back as Liverpool zip the ball around in front of them, retaining possession well for the first time since the opening minutes, but failing to open up the French. "I'm watching this game in Los Angeles," boasts Michael Aston. "I just want to say that that was an incredible and well deserved goal for Marseille. Liverpool look dreadful." Right on both counts, Michael. 89 mins: Zenden is replaced by Arrache and again the fair-minded Liverpool fans afford a former Red a generous applause. "What a load of rubbish," howls another fair-minded Liverpool fan, named Gus Five apparently. "Not your match report, of course, but why is Sissoko still on the pitch? Benayoun has been dreadful too. Liverpool have done absolutely nothing since that 6-0 win over Derby."

90 mins: Frantic Liverpool forced two corners in quick succession. Marseille defend the first well. Gerrard meets the second on the volley ... and directs his attempted shot back out to Voronin, who had taken the corner! Voronin's ensuing cross is turned behind for yet another corner ... and this time Hyypia meets Voronin's delivery but heads the ball wide.

90+1 mins: Great chance for Benayoun! Finnan, was afforded extra time on the right by Taiwo's slip, scooped a fine cross to the back post, where Benayoun headed ... but a defender cleared it out for yet another corner.

90+4 mins: Chaos in the Marseill box after Gerrard storms into the box. Mandanda dived bravely at his feet, the ball rebounded out to Kuyt, whose shot was deflected to Torres, whose snapshot cannons out off the post! Then Marseille tear down the other end and Cissé lifts the ball over the out-rushing Reina ... and the bar!

Full-time: It's all over! Marseille, in Eric Gerets, first match in charge, have become the first French team ever to win at Anfield. And they did it with style - the team who are only out of the French relegation zone on goal difference utterly outclassed Liverpool. Who were a shambles.