Dating Lessons From Teenagers

What Your Teen Years Should Have Taught You About Dating

We look back on our teen dating days with large amounts of chagrin. We were awkward and clumsy, we had no idea what we were doing, and often, things blew up in our face. Truth is though, in a lot of ways we’re not doing all that much better in adulthood — and there’s a lot we can learn from those just starting out!

They Relax And Have FunAs adults, we’re trained to look at the bigger picture — are they right for me? Where is this going? For teenagers, they are better at living in — and enjoying — the moment. “Teenagers realize that dates are supposed to be fun — not work! They tease and flirt without worrying if they'll have a future with their date. This doesn't mean they're not nervous; but they're not in their heads so much,” says Andrea Syrtash, Relationship Expert and author of It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked.

They Are Excited To See Each OtherWhen we were teenagers, we’d spend all week looking forward to our date, gushing with excitement. And we weren’t afraid to show it. How many of us do that now, when we’re consumed with advice books telling us to play hard to get, and not give too much too soon? Maybe we have the wrong idea. “My 16-year-old son's girlfriend came into the office and surprised him. When he walked from the back of the office, she became excited and started jumping up and down and yelled his name while running to jump on him.

My husband heard this ordeal so I asked him, ‘Do I greet you that way?’ He looked up from his computer and sternly said, "Never!" I'm not a teen but I do suggest that women act like cheerleaders when their man comes home from work. I can assure he will have a more anticipating outlook of going home to his wife!” says Shannon Battle, LCAS, LPC, CSOTS, Clinical Director, Family Services of America.

Group DatesAs adults, we may go out with another couple now and again, but for teens, group dating is the norm! “One thing that teens do on dates that adults should do is go out with a group. The stars are great about networking and going to parties as a group. They have a crowd and they easily meet more people. I think adults often want to go out in pairs or individually. I think adults should phone a friend and go with a group,” says Lisa Niver of WeSaidGoTravel, who worked as a set teacher on Nickelodeon’s new show, Bella and the Bulldogs.

They’re Sneaking AroundAs adults, if we want to take a date home — and, obviously, if they are into it as well — we just do. When we were teens, we had to be more creative — and that effort was part of the fun! “Most teens don’t have a warm, comfortable, private bedroom to which they can retreat at the end of the night, so they get creative. From cars and theaters to parks and even roller coaster rides, they’re up for almost any challenge — are you?” says Astroglide’s resident sexologist, Dr. Jess.

They Make Out – A LotFor teenagers, “simply” making out is still a very big deal, and for many, it is the main event. “Remember how exciting messing around first was, when you made out feverishly while sliding your hands everywhere, trying to find a vulnerable zone in her clothing before coming in your Wranglers? So do we girls, and we miss it,” says dating coach and sex expert Laurel House.

While you may think it’s logical to toss your T-shirt, drop trou and get naked once you’re ready, women prefer to be seduced — or at least get a simulation of it. As a bonus, the more work you put in laying the foundation, the more she’ll be primed to get buck wild by the time you do get her panties off. “Studies show the average man can get off in less than three minutes, while it takes women at least 20 minutes — foreplay is the fuel that starts the motor,” says House.

They’re Carrying CondomsWe tend to paint the younger generations as immature and irresponsible, but when it comes to safer sex, they’re ahead of the game. “A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that young people are more likely to use condoms: among 14 to 17 year olds who are sexually active, 80 percent of males and 69 percent of females reported condom use at last intercourse, which is far higher than the figures for adults engaging in casual sex!” says Dr. Jess.

AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without explicit permission.