The next 20 years passed in a blur and now that I've come out the other side, I've learned a few things about relationships. What it took me the better part of two decades to figure out, the participants on Married at First Sight already know.

They know what they want from life. They know what they want from a relationship. All their cards are on the table. They're not holding anything back.

Shelly Horton recaps the first week of Married at First Sight. (Article continues.)

Ahead of their 'weddings', each participant has clearly stated what their expectations are as a result of their nuptials. They have cited everything from security, companionship, children, and have shared their strengths and their weaknesses.

With the support of experts John Aiken, Mel Schilling and Dr. Trisha Stratford, each participant is encouraged to share their hopes, fears and lives openly and bravely.

As a result they are having all the conversations every couple should have in the first year.

Sure, they've raced to the alter and gotten hitched without having met each other, but that's beside the point.

Each couple is learning to open up in a way they most likely have never opened up before. They are doing so in front of the country and being held to account for their every thought, feeling and action.

Watching the show has taught me exactly what went wrong with my own relationship. I've spent the past year trying to figure it out, going back and forth over every decision, every milestone, every achievement and every setback.

What I've now concluded is that my marriage failed because I didn't know who I was when I met my former husband, owing to my limited life experience, so I didn't know what I wanted.

Not knowing what I wanted meant I found myself telling my former husband what he wanted to hear, and convincing myself of the same. I eventually figured out who I was and what I wanted, belatedly, three children later.

I spent my twenties chasing my career (and getting married and starting a family), my thirties having two more children and raising them while trying to keep some semblance of a career, and now I am spending my forties getting to know myself.

I find myself posing questions: Who am I? What do I want? What makes me happy? How should I choose to live the rest of my life?

I have amazing family and friends who have gifted me hours and hours of their time talking and figuring these things out. It was during a recent conversation with one friend in particular that all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that is the new me came together.

I found myself telling him that I wanted to live a life in which I am enough. Just me. I don't want to rely on anyone for physical, emotional or financial support. I want to do all of that for myself.

I want to raise my children to be the same, which is challenging in an Italian family which values 'settling down' above all else. Although each of my parents tried to foster my independence in their own way; my Dad by raising me to be proud of who I am and what I am capable of, and Mum for showing me how to take action to achieve my dreams.

My family has shown me unconditional love, so many times throughout my life but in particular over the past year. Just because I am no longer married, doesn't mean I don't have a family of my own.

Reconnecting with my friends during that time has given me the strength and bravery I have needed during this time of 'finding myself'.

I've learned so much from the couples I know whom I consider family and friends, who have gone the distance. What they have in common is that they have honest and open relationships, with plenty of room for growth and change.

Then there are the new friends I have made, people I feel I was destined to meet. Many of my new friends are single and live incredible lives. They are enough.

I've concluded that happiness means different things to different people, and that's okay. The only way forward is to know what it takes to make you happy, instead of what other people tell you will make you happy.

I'm told a lot that I should start dating, that I should open myself up to the possibility of a new relationship, over and over again. I've grown to detest the word 'should' and have stopped using it myself.

I haven't fully figured out the rest of my life yet, but I know one thing. I am enough, just me, in my home that I pay for, raising my incredible children, surrounded by family and friends.

If sometime in the future I meet someone who is a potential life-partner, they'll get to meet me, not the person I thought I was or was pretending to be. Hopefully I'll get to meet them, through honest conversations, through laying my hopes and dreams and cards on the table.

Just like the participants on Married at First Sight, all of whom I admire greatly for their bravery, openness and honesty. I hope each of them finds the happiness they deserve, in whatever form it takes.