Today we will be discussing in The Great Outdoors series: Doing Groceries.

Ever wondered what it would be like to not smell yourself? Well, as for me, I plunged myself into the deep and actually did my groceries IRL instead of ordering it over the internet.

Please bare with me as I unfold my story. I first took a shower, ok, I can handle that, I shower a few times a month, I'm no complete dirtbag you know.

Then came a first for me, I actually dressed myself into clothes that were compatible with the outside so I wouldnt freeze up. Affraid as I was, I took place behind my computer again to check mail, post a few posts, and went for a quicky into the IRC chatbox I'm a regular at I'm an operator there!].

When I told about my oncoming adventure they all started to laugh as they didnt quite understand why I would go through all that trouble to get some pizza's, three pounds of coffee and cigarettes. 'Just order in, anti-hero!' is all I got out of them. Hmpf. Stupid smelly pale bastards!

Once I had found my jacket I was ready and there would be NO turning back! Arrived at the store I immediately lost track of what I was doing, all went black before my eyes and blank inside my head.'OMG, just be a man!' I thought to myself after a few moments, and that seemed to help as my sight slowly started to come back. In front of me the first thing I saw was a female, but I seemed to stare too long at her as she laid her eyes on me and pulled one eyebrow up before turning around. The second problem was that I couldnt find my way around the store. I did see some monitor and immediately tried to bash an index of the stores layout out of it. The monitor proved to be a game for children...

To cut a long story short, I survived the ordeal, happy and proud of myself as I conquered yet another step into becoming The Great outdoors Nerd.

-Phrea, -

Phrea's column for Nerds Part II

It seems that the writer of the last column couldn't find his back way home after his last trip to the dangerous place whe like to call the great outside world. We will always remember him as a great hero who tried to do the impossible.

(A new colum will be posted this week, whe are trying to locate phrea asap but that is an almost impossible task because whe have to contact real people outside IRC and stuff like that!)

-Craze, -

Phrea's column for Nerds Part III

Ok my fellow nerds.
After a few months of silence I can finally speak again through my keyboard.As most of you already know, I had my Doing Groceries adventure, and honestly, I had to recover... Big time. I'm doubting about this next story cuz, wel... There isnt one. The pain of my first adventure is still aching my every bone in every limb in all my body. I'm not sure if I even can continue this column because of my confirmed hate for the outdoors. Just the other day, a few friends of my put up a fence, outside my house, cuz the old damn fence was blown away by some hard wind. I watched them for an hour or so. It was a cloudy day, at the beginning of spring... Guess what, I got BURNED!! Yes, really, I kid you not. [music: Moody Blues - Whiter Shade Of Pale] Please bare with me on this one, I promise that I'll give it another go, as soon as I can.
On a brighter note, I can tell y'all that I found me a real girlfriend! 'Course, I met her through the internet, I dont think you'll be all too surprised about that. She's a doll, really. Very nerdish so we're totally compatible with eachother. To be really honest, I've asked her to marry me... ...on IRC... Really. And you know what; she accepted!! Woohooo!! Over to yet another topic, I still havent figured out why I write my columns in English, I'm -as most of you know- a Dutchman, and proud to be, mayby I should talk to my shrink 'bout this. She's less of a nut case then I am, oh lucky me. 'She' you say? Yes, my shrink is female, this does *not* help as I get destracted every time I see her boo... ...face.
I do feel the need to tell you; this is kind of a true/false column, I'll leave your sick brain to descide what's true and what's false, don't feel the need to explain [hey, you think of me whatever you want anyways, so why even bother].