Fug the Cover: Ashley Greene

The vaginas of Cosmo staffers are apparently extremely passive-aggressive; acting weird, not speaking up when they’re not okay. Don’t let your vagina give you the silent treatment, ladies! Although I suspect it will happily chat you up once you force “52 Sex Tips…Inspired By Fifty Shades of Grey” on it. And by “happily chat you up,” I mean, “confront you in the bathroom and angrily demand to know WTF you think you’re doing.” But just WAIT until your vagina discovers that you’re going to adopt Ashley Greene’s new look — the one where she wears jeans exactly the same color as the background so that she appears to be a floating torso at all times. TAKE THAT, VAGINA. NOW YOU’RE INVISIBLE. Who’s acting weird now?