May the fourth be with you – It’s Star Wars day!

May the fourth is of course Star Wars day. The issue comes now, that you can’t watch them all in one day.

If you watch them in chronological order: Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, Rogue One, A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Force Awakens, The Last Jedi; then you’ll likely keel over of exhaustion before you’re done, some 20 hours in.

Now, a lot of orders forgo the Phantom Menace, and Rogue One. But, Rogue one is a stupendous film, and though it doesn’t fit especially well into the middle of the order (as it doesn’t involve the Jedi/Sith, etc), it functions perfectly as a prequel to the story. The prequels then function as an extended flashback, utilizing the time lapse between Empire and Return to good effect. It’s debatable whether you want to watch Menace in there too, as many people see Jar Jar and little Anakin as unworthy of two hours of their lives. However, the Maul Fight, getting to see Qui Gon Jinn again, and more Obi Wan is almost too good to pass up.

It can be argued that skipping it also gives a little more weight to Vader as you don’t see him as a weird kid, and just go straight in with the angsty and conflicted Anakin. But, if you’re going to skip Menace, then you may as well skip The Last Jedi and spare yourself that suffering too. Just pretend that the canon ends with Force Awakens, and cross your fingers for Solo: A Star Wars story to not be utter garbage.

I’m as big a Star Wars fan as a lot of people, and I’ll be sitting down today to watch some of them (I can’t do the full blast as I have to work, like an adult – sucks, I know), and in doing so, I’ll be paying tribute to one of the most beloved cinematic series in history. If you too, are intent on doing the same, then why not show your support by grabbing yourself a rad Star Wars self-gift? Here are our top picks for the coolest Star Wars gear around.

Possibly the greatest 30 seconds of my Star Wars experience came at the end of Rogue One where Vader boarded the rebel cruiser and proceeded to decimate the rebels in pursuit of the Death Star Plans. They’ve done Rogue One, Solo drops in a few weeks, there’s talks of an Obi Wan movie – but the biggest, baddest, more gnarly character of all still hasn’t had his moment in the sun. Maybe it’s just too big a risk for them to screw it up? Who knows. But, what I do know is that I never get tired of making lightsaber noises as I’m chopping veg wearing this thing. My girlfriend thinks I’m a weirdo, but one of these days, my force choke will work – and then she’ll be sorry.

Maybe we all like to think of ourselves as the Jedi of our own lives. But, it’s a double-edged sword. Being a Jedi Knight isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It forbids love, marriage, relationships, family. It forbids killing a defenseless opponent, or committing acts of revenge. It also considers all life precious, and that all emotion be removed from decisions. Basically, it’s like being a priest. However – it’s flawed. Even Obi Wan couldn’t stop himself from forming a brotherly attachment to Anakin and a fatherly attachment to Qui Gon. Luke too, formed attachments to all his companions. So in its essence, the Jedi Code was almost made to be broken, or at least does not govern who can and can’t be a ‘good’ Jedi. That’s some solace I get, and will let you wear this top with pride. It’s also great news if you intend on finding yourself someone to grow old with – just… if someone asks you whether you’ve heard the tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise – run. Trust me. Just run.

All ‘force-choke-me-harder-daddy’ and ‘we have cookies’ memes aside, being able to shoot lightning from your fingers, bring people back from the dead, and also wear black in total comfort no matter the weather are all stellar bonuses. Their code is also a lot freer too – calling for passion, anger, power, and ultimately victory. If you’re the sort of person that in RPG games you find yourself murdering innocent NPCs, choosing the most violent or harsh dialogue options – then I’ve got news for you. You’re probably a sith. And also, you should probably get help… But you know, after placing an order for one of these tops.

All Star Wars trivia aside, this is the nerdiest, coolest gadget around. And, it actually works. It makes better pancake-style treats than actual waffles, but still, it’s awesome. Sweet or savoury, it works really well. I never get tired of eating Star-Wars shaped foods. There’s always a strange sense of excited satisfaction when you open the lid and your eyes fall upon a perfectly formed Death Star Waffle. Dun dun dun dun-dunun, dun-dunun – duuun duuun duuun dun-dunun, dun-dunun. Dun, dun, dun, dun-dununun, dun-dun, dun-dununun, dun, dun-dunun, dun-dunun. Feel free to copy, paste, and use that at your discretion – and don’t pretend like you didn’t pitch-shift perfectly, despite there being no indication of how you should.

We’ve always hoped that Boba Fett would get his own story. There are stirrings, but nothing’s set in stone yet. He made a pretty swift exit considering how his character was shaping up, so when we were introduced to Jango (the clone-father of Boba) in the prequels, we revelled in the return of the Fetts as Bounty Hunters. He was doing well, too, until Mace Windu took his head. Still, dying at the hands of Samuel L Jackson is a pretty honorable (and cool) death. And now, you can show your support for the late, great Fett legacy by sporting this excellent front and back Bounty Hunter top. Talk about bang for your buck eh – just watch out for Sarlaccs.

Fun fact – Boba Fett didn’t die on Tatooine, despite falling into the Great Pit of Carkoon. Though not mentioned in the Canon, in the extended universe, he escaped and lived for some time after. There, now that’s a thing you know.