Mark is sitting at the bar totally forlorn
and drinking up a storm. His friend Ray
approaches him and asks what's wrong.
Mark says, "Everything is terrible. I've
been replaced at work with a computer,
and I've been replaced at home with a vibrator!"

It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria.
The elderly matron sitting at the counter
was obviously upset at the cigarette
smoke of the young woman beside her.
Finally the older woman could take it
no longer. She turned to the girl and
bellowed with a loud voice
"Young lady, I would rather commit
adultery than smoke!"
"So would I," quipped the girl,
"but you know, there just
isn't time enough during a coffee break."

Three friends decided to visit a prostitute : a whit
e guy, a black guy, and a Jew. It was a slow night,
So she gave the guys a deal.
"You can pay $10 an inch."
When the white man comes back out his friends ask:
"How much did she charge you?"
"$65 dollars," said the first.
The black guy goes in and returns with a fee of $95.
The first two were proud of their prowess. The third
man goes in and returns,
"How much did she charge you?" ask the first two :
"20 dollars", replies the Jew.
The first two start laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied the third,
"I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out."

Two old ladies are walking through
a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later
the first old lady said.
"My! Did you see that statue of the
naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied,
"Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How
can they display such a thing! My Gosh
the penis on it was so large!"
The first old lady blurted out ,
"And cold, too."