FAQ

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Kpopalypse Battle - Park Bom vs Kemy

People want to know if Kpopalypse supports either 2NE1's Park Bom or
A.KOR's Kemy in the latest hilarious k-pop drama, and which side they
should choose. This post has the answers!

Here's a quick recap of the situation for those unfamiliar:

So
now that we're all up to speed, here's what I think of the situation.
Because the Park Bom/Kemy controversy is very multi-faceted and there's a
lot to cover, we're going to let them both battle it out in several
different areas and allocate Kpopalypse approval points, then tally the
results up for our final answer. Let's get started!

KPOPALYPSE BATTLE - PARK BOM VS KEMY

ROUND 1: DRUGS

Kemy:

Is anti-drugs: +1

Doesn't smuggle drugs: +1

Bom:

Is anti-drugs: +1

Smuggles drugs: -1

WINNER OF ROUND 1: KEMY

Kemy doesn't smuggle drugs, or at least hasn't been caught yet, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt - for now.

Total so far - Kemy: 2 Bom: 0

*

ROUND 2: RAP CREDIBILITY

Kemy:

Can rap: +1

Is anti-drugs: -1

Promotes punishment for non law-abiding citizens: -1

Bom:

Can't rap: -1

Doesn't try: +1

WINNER OF ROUND 2: BOM

Kemy can rap nice, but racks up negative rap cred by telling Park Bom off for doing drugs and not being in jail yet.
Tsk tsk - everybody knows that rappers should be championing frequent
drug use and disrespect for the law at all times. Someone needs to tie
Kemy down and make her listen to NWA and Cypress Hill,
stat. (And don't come here waving around any of that "conscious rap"
stuff, that music is all by fuckheads, for fuckheads.) So as a result,
Bom has more rap cred by default despite never having dropped a single
rap on anything, anywhere.

A.KOR
may be nothing special right now but so far they've mercifully avoided
performing something as ear-shreddingly awful as "Do You Love Me",
"Missing You" or anything off 2NE1's "Crush" album. Sure, it's early
days yet - when they start trotting out the shithouse album filler
ballads they may lose the higher ground here, but Kemy is safely in
front for the moment.

Total so far - Kemy: 3 Bom: 1

*

ROUND 6: NETIZENS

Both
are catching lots of juicy netizen butthurt, from different places, in
roughly equal quantities. To tip the scales, one of them needs to step
up their game and do something extra-special to be hated globally.
Crossing my fingers.

Just
because I understand the corporate reasoning behind A.KOR's label
Republic Doo being a bunch of pathetic fucking pussies doesn't mean that
I have to like it. The more k-pop labels pander to the whims of
spoiled brats, the more spoiled brats will learn that complaining gets
them what they want, like a lab rat learning to push a button that
releases food. Labels need to learn to STFU... but they probably won't.

Total so far - Kemy: 4 Bom: 3

*

ROUND 9: ENTERTAINMENT

Kemy:

Hilariously smart rapping dissecting Park Bom and YG verbally: +1

Hilariously dumb death threats from Blackjacks all over her label's social media: +1

Bom:

Butthurt from vocalfags who don't understand why people like to listen to her sing: +1

Butthurt from armchair anti-drug activists: +1

Butthurt from armchair plastic surgery protestors: +1

WINNER OF ROUND 9: BOM

Kemy
has generated an admirable quantity of hate from Internet douchebags in
a short timeframe but Bom is still one of the true masters at the game
of extreme extended butthurt delivery. Even if Kemy's current
impressive speeds of butthurt-generation are maintained it's still going
to take Kemy a while to catch up to Bom's years-long legacy of giving
k-pop fans the shits.

FINAL SCORE - Kemy: 6 Bom: 6

CONCLUSION

Park
Bom and Kemy are both awesome and I can't give up either. I
particularly enjoyed Kemy's ability to make Blackjacks embarrass
themselves by writing shitty laughable response raps, and Bom's
continual ability to annoy absolutely fucking everybody just by
breathing in air is something I'll always admire and aspire to. Why
k-pop fans allow themselves to get so easily annoyed about either of
them I don't know, but fuck it's funny. Kpopalypse shall continue to
support both Bom and Kemy's right to irritate all the rest of you.

The final score has to be a tie, right oppar? Haha.I was disappointed as fuck when the label released that poor statement.Their statement should be about telling Blackjacks to go fuck themselves.If they were not ready for any backlash they shouldn't have told their talent to release a diss track to begin with.

In all honesty I didn't pay attention to the scandal. I just kind of knew Kemy was doing it for attention because I don't see what provoked her to diss Bom anyway. So I think it was just for attention. With that said I think she's kind of lame because unprovoked diss tracks are lame and she went after BOM of all people in the industry.

I'll never know why labels insist on catering to those crazies. I give props to Kemy for doing this. Hip hop isn't meant to be the watered down crap fangirls find so palatable. Though since she's an idol now, I don't know if it's proper to give her the title of "hip hop artist" but still, respect to her for saying what most people are just too scared or polite to say outright.