As we prepare for the Rio Olympics, Australia’s still adding to its London medal tally. That’s how good we are.

Aussie butt wobbler Jared Tallent has been named the 2012 Olympic champion after the Russian bloke who crossed the line ahead of him in the 50-kilometre walk was done for doping.

With Russia’s participation in the Rio Games up in the air, there’s still a chance Tallent will face dirty rotten drug cheat Sergey Kirdyapkin again in a few months. On this April Fool’s Day, I’m advocating tying the Ruskie’s show laces together.

Also pointing the finger after his team’s pool stage exit was Pakistan cricket coach Waqar Younis, who came home begging the nation’s forgiveness, then said the team’s performance had nothing to do with him. Because he’s only the coach.

In a report to the Pakistan Cricket Board, Waqar said he didn’t want to ‘shift the blame to any personal individual’. Buuuuuuut, it was all Shahid Afridi’s fault.

“We lost… the World Twenty20 due to poor captaincy,” he said. “No matter how many times I talk to the players, it is the captain who has to lead the boys on the field and execute the plan.”

And here’s world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic perfecting his ball skills at the Miami Open.

Another celebrated ball player, Lionel Messi, managed to offend an entire nation when he gifted his footy boots to an Egyptian TV show. Which in Egypt can be quite the insult.

Egyptian politician Said Hasasin leapt to defend his nation’s honour.

“We (Egyptians) have never been so humiliated during our seven thousand years of civilization,” he blustered. “I will hit you with the shoes, Messi.”

And there we are, back where we started. No matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to keep politics out of sport.