Cabin Pressure S01E01 Abu Dhabi

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(Bing-Bong)

DOUGLAS: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, First Officer Douglas Richardson here. Just to let you know, we're making our final approach now into what I am fairly sure is Fitton airfield. . unless it's a farm. . or just possibly the A45. It's not the sea, because that's blue. I should perhaps explain that Captain Crieff and I have a sportsman-like little bet on today about who can fly the best after drinking a litre of Vodka through a straw. The Captain went first. You may have noticed the takeoff run was a little bumpy, particularly over the golf course. Now it's me to land, just as soon as I decide, which of these two runaways to aim for. And I'm happy to tell you that I feel lucky. So on behalf of all your crew today, may I just say, geronimo!

Cabin Pressure by John Finnemore. Starring: Stephanie Cole as Carolyn, Roger Allam as Douglas, Benedict Cumberbatch as Martin and John Finnemore as Arthur. This week, Abu Dhabi!

(over the intercom) Tower: Golf-Tango-India, expect twenty min delay due runway inspection. Enter the hold at arden. Maintain seven thousand feet. MARTIN: Golf-Tango-India, Roger. Hold at arden. Maintain seven thousand feet. Can you confirm delay only twenty minutes? Tower: (exhales) Probably. . All depends, really. MARTIN: Thank you, Tower. Hugely informative as ever. Out. (turns off the intercom) Sorry, chaps, looks like we'd better divert to Bristol. ARTHUR: Bristol? Why? MARTIN: Fitton's got a runway closure. We'd have to hold for twenty minutes ARTHUR: But Bristol, that's miles away. MARTIN: Yes. . Luckily enough though, we are in an aeroplane, specially designed to be good at going miles away quite quickly. ARTHUR: Yeah. . But my car's at Fitton. MARTIN: Oh, well then, let us, by all means, circle round it until we drop out of the sky. DOUGLAS: Do you know, Martin, all these years and I've never been to Bristol? MARTIN: We'll get ready for a treat. DOUGLAS: I don't know. I was rather hoping not to break my duck. ARTHUR: Skip, are you sure there's not enough fuel to wait, because there's always a little bit left when the guage shows red. MARTIN: Yes, oddly enough, Arthur, a jet aircraft isn't as precisely similar to a Vauxhall Corsa as a stupid person might imagine. We're going to Bristol. ARTHUR: What do you reckon, Douglas? DOUGLAS: We could go to Bristol, I believe. People do. However, we've easily enough fuel spare to hold for twenty minutes, maybe even thirty. MARTIN: Yeah, I'm sorry, but we are diverting. ARTHUR: Yeah, hang on a tick though, If Douglas reckons twenty minutes. .