Friday, February 11, 2011

We have a clock by the front sign-in sheet. It's part of a kitschy ceramic black & white statue made to look like some type of cartoonish farm animal. I have no idea who bought it originally. I've never paid it much attention.

Last night, just after 7:00, I got called that a patient needed to talk to me.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Miss Tangent: "Hi! I was there earlier today, for my arm pain. I brought my sister to the appointment. Do you remember?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes. What can I do for you?"

Miss Tangent: "I need your help. My sister and I have been arguing since the appointment, and we need to know if that clock statue thing on your front desk is supposed to be a horse or a cow?"

Neigh I sayIt is neither horse nor cowDo not ask why I know howIt is udderly and without doubtSomthing else on a farm you would findWhy just look again, at its behindI don't want to gloatBut surely it is a goat.

Wow...maybe I should clarify on my voicemail from now on that when we say "for urgent matters after-hours, please page your doctor", I DON'T mean things like "what shape is your clock?" or "can you help me name farm animals?"...stupid me, I didn't think that things like that would need to be clarified, but as your patients have so amazingly shown, that clearly isn't the case.

I absolutely can't believe that people have the nerve to call a doctor after hours for such a dumb ass question, you should change answering services. I wouldn't even attempt that. What do you say to these nuts?

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

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