Ninth Doctor

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Previous to the 2005 season, series were numbered continuously, starting with the First Doctor. But given "Doctor Who"'s long absence from television, the production team chose to restart the series numbering from one.

The Doctor: Do you wanna come with me? 'Cos if you do, then I should warn you — you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: the trip of a lifetime!

Rose: Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there? [The Doctor ignores her] I said, who are they?!

The Doctor: They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which would be a great big problem if--[he pulls a beeping bomb out of his coat] --I didn't have this. So I'm gonna go upstairs and blow it up. And I might well die in the process. But don't worry about me, no. You go home, go on! Go and have your lovely beans on toast. [suddenly serious] Don't tell anyone about this, 'cos if you do, you'll get them killed. [closes the door, then opens it again] I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?

Rose: Rose.

The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose! [holds up the bomb, shaking it slightly while grinning.] Run for your life!

Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.

The Doctor: Yes, you are.

Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.

The Doctor: Yes, there is.

Jackie: Well, anything could happen.

The Doctor: ...No. [He walks away]

Rose: Who are you?

The Doctor: [turns around] Do you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving? [walks towards Rose] It's like when you're a kid. The first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cos everything looks like it's standing still. [looks at Rose] I can feel it. [takes Rose's hand] The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at 1,000 miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go... [drops Rose's hand] That's who I am.

The Doctor: The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and, believe me, they've tried.

Rose: If you are an alien, how come you sound like you're from the north?

The Doctor: Lots of planets have a north!

Rose: No A-levels, no job, no future, but I'll tell you what I have got: Jericho Street Junior School's under-sevens gymnastics team. I won the bronze.

The Doctor: [opening Rose's phone] Tell you what. With a bit of jiggery pokery--

Rose: Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery"?

The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?

Rose: [playing along] Nah, I failed hullabaloo.

The Doctor: Everything has its time and everything dies.

The Doctor: You think it'll last forever: people and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day it's all gone. Even the sky. [long pause] My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned, like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust. Before its time.

The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.

Rose: Your face!

The Doctor: [defensively] It hurt!

Rose: You're so gay!

Rose: [to the Doctor] Every conversation with you just goes... mental. And there's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things and... I'm the only person on planet Earth who knows they exist. [a large spaceship crashes into Big Ben and lands in the Thames] Oh, that's just not fair. [the Doctor laughs delightedly and pulls her toward the crash]

Rose: My mum's here.

The Doctor: Oh, that's just what I need! Don't you dare make this place domestic!

Mickey Smith: You ruined my life, Doctor. [the Doctor turns and looks at him, irritated] They thought she was dead, I was a murder suspect because of you!

The Doctor: [looks at Rose] See what I mean? Domestic!

Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name!

The Doctor: Ricky.

Mickey: It's Mickey!

The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.

Mickey: I think I know my own name!

The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?

Mickey Smith: So, what're you doing down there?

The Doctor: [muffled, due to his holding the sonic screwdriver between his teeth] Ricky--

Mickey Smith: Mickey.

The Doctor: [takes the sonic screwdriver out of his mouth]Ricky, if I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand?

The Doctor: Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?

The Doctor: I think you'll find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise, and— [glances at military police leader] That's never gonna work, is it?

Policeman: [shakes his head] Nope.

The Doctor: Fair enough. [He runs away]

[The Doctor is surrounded by armed policemen.]

Slitheen: [disguised as General Asquith] Under the jurisdiction of the Emergency Protocols, I authorize you to execute this man!

The Doctor: Ah, well, now, you see, uh, the thing is, if I was you, if I was gonna, uh, execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, a little word of advice: [there is a ping and lift door slides open behind the Doctor] don't stand him against the lift! [he steps backwards and the lift door closes]

[As the Doctor threatens the Slitheen by holding the sonic screwdriver to a decanter]

The Doctor: [enraged] We're not the same, I'm not-- No, wait. Maybe we are. You're right, yeah, okay. You've got a point. 'Cos I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve. [pauses dramatically] Exterminate! [he pulls a nearby lever, causing the Dalek to be electrified. The Dalek screams.]

Dalek: HAVE PITY!

The Doctor: Why should I? You never did!

Simmons: What are you going to do? Sucker me to death?

[The Dalek attaches his plunger to Simmons' face and crushes his skull. Ouch!]

Van Statten: I thought you were the great expert, Doctor. If you're so impressive, then why not just reason with this Dalek? It must be willing to negotiate. There must be something it needs. Everything needs something.

The Doctor: All dead. If the Dalek gets out, it'll murder every living creature. That's all it wants.

Van Statten: [shouting] But why would it do that?!

The Doctor: Because it honestly believes they should die. Human beings are different, and anything different is wrong. It's the ultimate in racial cleansing, and you, van Statten, you've let it loose!

[The Dalek appears on the view screen in van Statten's office.]

The Doctor: You're just a soldier without commands.

Dalek: Then I shall follow the primary order: the Dalek instinct to destroy, to conquer!

The Doctor: What for? What's the point?! Don't you see? It's all gone. Everything you were, everything you stood for.

Dalek: Then what should I do?

The Doctor: Alright, then. If you want orders, follow this one: Kill yourself.

Dalek: The Daleks must survive!

The Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Now why don't you finish the job and make the Daleks extinct?! Rid the universe of your filth! Why don't you just DIE?!

[beat]

Dalek: You would make a good Dalek.

[The Doctor believes that the Dalek has just killed Rose.]

The Doctor: I killed her.

Van Statten: I'm sorry.

The Doctor: I said I'd protect her. She was only here because of me, and you're sorry? I could have killed that Dalek in its cell. But you stopped me.

Van Statten: It was the prize of my collection!

The Doctor: [outraged] YOUR COLLECTION?! Well, was it worth it?! Worth all those men's deaths, worth Rose?! Let me tell you something, van Statten. Mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater!

Van Statten: Exactly! I wanted to touch the stars!

The Doctor: You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground, underneath tons of sand and dirt, and label them! You're about as far from the stars as you can get! [quietly] And you took her down with you. She was nineteen years old.

[The Dalek has opened up its armor, revealing the mutated creature inside.]

The Doctor: Get out of the way! [The Doctor is aiming a hand-held cannon at the Dalek.] Rose, get out of the way now!

The Doctor: So, it's 200,000, it's a spaceship—no, wait a minute—space station, and uh... go try that gate over there. Okay, off you go.

Rose: 200,000? [The Doctor nods, and leans back against the wall as Adam exits the TARDIS]

Adam: Where are we?

Rose: Good question. Let's see. So, um, judging by the architecture, I'd say we're around the year [looks at the Doctor] Two hundred thousand? If you listen, engines. We're on some sort of space station. Yeah, definitely a space station. It's a bit warm in here. They could turn the heating down. Tell you what, let's try that gate. Come on.

Rose: [looking out over the Earth] That's...well, I'll let The Doctor explain, he does it better.

The Doctor: The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. And there it is: planet Earth at its height. Covered with megacities, five moons, population 96 billion. The hub of a galactic domain, stretching across a million planets, a million species. With mankind right in the middle. [Adam faints. The Doctor doesn't react, still looks out over the Earth][deadpan] He's your boyfriend.

Rose: [deadpan] Not anymore.

The Doctor: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! [beat] Or is that just me?

Rose: [Adam has decided to go sit on the observation deck to absorb things] D'you want me to come with you?

Adam Mitchell: No, no, you stick with the Doctor. [pause] You'd rather be with him. [longer pause] It's gonna take a better man than me to get between you two.

The Editor: It may interest you to know that this isn't actually the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It's hardly human at all! It's a place where humans happen to live — [unseen creature protests] — sorry, are allowed to live, by kind permission of my client. [points upwards]

[The Doctor and Rose follow his finger and finally see the huge alien creature with ferocious-looking jaws on the ceiling]

Rose: [caught off-guard] What is it?

The Doctor: You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?

The Editor: "That thing", as you put it, is in charge of the human race. For almost a hundred years, mankind has been guided and shaped. Its knowledge and ambition strictly controlled, through its broadcast news — edited by my superior, your master, and humanity's guiding light: The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe! [grins] I call him Max.

The Editor: Create a climate of fear, and it's easy to keep the borders closed. It's just a matter of emphasis. The right word in the right broadcast repeated often enough can destabilize an economy, invent an enemy, change a vote.

Rose: So all the people on Earth are, like... slaves?

The Editor: Now there's an interesting point. Is a slave a slave, if he doesn't know he's enslaved?

The Doctor: Yes.

The Editor: Aww, I was hoping for a philosophical debate. Is that all I'm gonna get, "yes"?

The Doctor: Yes.

The Editor: [chuckles] You're no fun.

The Doctor: Let me out of these manacles and I'll show you how much fun I am.

The Doctor: Oh, that's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, those misunderstandings, all those Red Alerts, all that dancing.

The Doctor: Know how long you can knock around the universe without bumping into Earth?

Rose: Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?

The Doctor: All the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow...

The Doctor: [asking about Rose's whereabouts] And I wanna find a blonde in a Union Jack tee. And I mean a specific one, I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving.

The Doctor: Amazing.

Nancy: What is?

The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says "No. No, not here." A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. I don't know what you did to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me, go on, do what you've got to do, save the world.

Doctor Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither, but I'm still a doctor.

The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO...TO...YOUR...ROOM! [The children obey him and lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

Rose: What's that noise?

Doctor: End of the tape. It ran out about thirty seconds ago.

Empty Child: I'm here, now. Can't you see me?

Doctor: I sent it to its room. This is its room.

[They turn and see the Child in the room with them]

Empty Child: Are you my mummy? Mummy?

Jack: Okay. This can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and as a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor. Doc, whatcha got?

Doctor: I've got a sonic, uh...oh, never mind.

Jack: What?

Doctor: It's sonic, okay? Let's leave it at that.

Jack: Disruptor? Cannon? What?

Doctor: It's sonic! Totally sonic! I'm...sonicked up!

Jack: A sonic what!?

Doctor: Screwdriver!

Jack: Who has a sonic screwdriver?

The Doctor: I do!

Rose: Lights... [looks around]

Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic!"?

The Doctor: What, you've never been bored?

Rose: There's gotta be a light switch!

The Doctor: Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

The Doctor: There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy. And this little boy can.

Rose: Okay, so he's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the great looking ones who do that?

Doctor: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.

The Doctor: [Exultant upon saving all the Nanogene-infected Londoners.] Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once....Everybody lives!!

Mrs. Harcourt: Doctor Constantine!

Doctor Constantine: Mrs. Harcourt, how much better you're looking!

Mrs. Harcourt: My leg's grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had but one leg!

Doctor Constantine: [equally confused by events] Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?

The Doctor: [to the crowd of people] Right, you lot, lots to do; beat the Germans, save the world, don't forget the welfare state! [to Rose as he fiddles with the ship's controls] Setting this to self-destruct as soon as everyone's clear. History says there was an explosion here, and who am I to argue with history?

Rose: Usually the first in line!

Jack: You know, the last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four Hyper Vodkas for breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple. They stayed in touch. Can't say that about most executioners.

Mickey: [after he, Rose, Jack and The Doctor have just exited the TARDIS] That old lady's staring.

Jack: [to the Doctor] Probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.

Mickey: [disdainful look at Jack] What are you Captain of, the "Innuendo Squad"?

[Jack gives him the "whatever" sign]

Mickey: [after the Doctor explains why the TARDIS resembles a Police Public Call Box] But that's what I meant: there's no police boxes anymore, so doesn't it get noticed?

The Doctor: Ricky, let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it. Now stop your nagging. Let's go and explore.

Jack: According to intelligence, the target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family, a criminal sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius, masquerading as a human being zipped inside a skin suit. Okay, plan of attack, we assume a basic fifty seven fifty six strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor. Doctor, you go face to face, that'll designate exit one, Ill cover exit two. Rose, you exit three, Mickey Smith, you take exit four. Have you got that?

[They all go off in their respective directions, leaving Mickey alone before he turns and walks off, The Doctor reaches the Mayor's office]

The Doctor: Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.

Idris Hopper: Have you got an appointment?

The Doctor: No, just an old friend passing by, bit of a surprise. Can't wait to see her face!

Idris Hopper: Well, she's just having a cup of tea.

The Doctor: Just go in there and tell her "the Doctor" would like to see her.

Idris Hopper: Doctor who?

The Doctor: Just the Doctor. Tell her exactly that, "The Doctor".

Idris Hopper: Hang on a tic. [goes inside. There is the sound of a teacup smashing, and Idris returns.] The Lord Mayor says thank you f-for popping by. She'd love to have a chat, but, um, she's up to her eyes in paperwork. Perhaps you would like to make an appointment for next week...

The Doctor: [happily] She's climbing out the window, isn't she?

Idris Hopper: Yes, she is.

Margaret Blaine: Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?

The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.

Margaret Blaine: Apart from that.

Margaret Blaine: [admiring the TARDIS] This is the technology of the gods!

The Doctor: Well, don't worship me, I'd make a very bad god. You wouldn't get a day off, for starters.

Margaret Blaine: I promise you I've changed since we last met, Doctor. There was this girl, just today, young thing... And something of a danger. She was getting too close. I felt the bloodlust rising, just as the family taught me. I was going to kill her without a thought. And then... I stopped. She's alive somewhere right now. She's walking around this city because I can change! I did change! I know I can't prove it--

The Doctor: I believe you.

Margaret: Then you know I'm capable of better.

The Doctor: It doesn't mean anything.

Margaret Blaine: I spared her life!

The Doctor: You let one go, but that's nothing new. Every now and then, a little victim's spared. Because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions. Because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind.

Margaret Blaine: Only a killer would know that. Is that right? From what I've seen, your funny little happy-go-lucky life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on, because you dare not go back. Playing with so many people's lives - you might as well be a god. And you're right, Doctor. You're absolutely right. Sometimes... you let one go. [almost tearful] Let me go.

Jack: Okay. Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?

Trine-E and Zu-Zana: Absolutely!

Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up!

[After watching Jack flirt with Lynda]

The Doctor: You mind flirting outside?

Jack: I was just saying "hello"!

The Doctor: For you, that's flirting.

Female Programmer: If you're not holding us hostage, then open the door and let us out. The staff are terrified!

The Doctor: That's the same staff who execute hundreds of people every day?

Female Programmer: That's not our fault! We're just doing our jobs!

The Doctor: And with that sentence, you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now, back off!

Female Programmer: [Jack is about to open the door to Archive 6] You're not allowed in there. [authoritatively and loudly] Archive 6 is out of bounds!

Jack: [raises two large guns; shouting] Do I look like an "out of bounds" sort of guy?

The Doctor:[to Jack, after hearing him flirt again] There's a time and a place.

Dalek: I will talk to the Doctor.

The Doctor: Oh, will you? That's nice. Hello!

Dalek: The Dalek stratagem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.

The Doctor: Oh, really? Why's that, then?

Dalek: We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated!

The Doctor: No.

[The Daleks glance at each other in confusion.]

Dalek: Explain yourself.

The Doctor: I said no.

Dalek: What is the meaning of this negative?

The Doctor: It means no.

Dalek: But she will be destroyed!

The Doctor: No! 'Cos this is what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and then, just to finish off, I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!

Dalek: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!

The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? [speaking to Rose] Rose?

[They fire their weapons, which are stopped by a force-field extending a good three metres out from the Tardis]

The Doctor: Is that it? Useless! Nul points! [to Rose and Jack] It's all right, you can come out; that force-field can hold back anything.

Jack: Almost anything.

The Doctor: Yes, but I wasn't going to tell them that, thanks.

Jack: Sorry.

The Doctor: Do you know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek Homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. You might've removed all your emotions but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me? So tell me. How did you survive the Time War?

Dalek Emperor: They survived through me.

[The Doctor walks to the sound of the voice, the lights then come on revealing the Dalek Emperor and his army]

The Doctor:[Shocked] Rose...Captain...This is the emperor of the daleks.

Dalek Emperor: You destroyed us Doctor.The dalek race died in your inferno but my ship survived falling through time, crippled but alive.

The Doctor: I get it.

Dalek 1: Do not interrupt!

Dalek 2: Do not interrupt!

Dalek 3: Do not interrupt!

The Doctor: I think you're forgetting something. I'm the doctor and If there's one thing I can do is talk. I've got five billion languages and you haven't got one way of stopping me. So if anyone's gonna shut up [Turns around and faces the daleks with an angry expression] IT'S YOU!

[The Daleks back up from The Doctor's outburst, The Doctor turns back to the emperor his face once again calm]

The Doctor: [Cheerfully] Okie doke, so where were we?

The Doctor: [as a hologram] This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen. This is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger, and I mean fatal. I'm dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape. And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home. [Rose protests] And I bet you're fussing and moaning now. Typical! But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do: let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it. No one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world will move on and the box will be buried. And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing, that's all, one thing. [turns to Rose, his voice no longer sounding projected] Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.

Rose: But what do I do every day, Mum? Get up. Go to work. Catch the bus, eat chips, and go to bed.

Mickey: It's what the rest of us do.

Rose: But I can't.

Mickey: Because you’re better than us?

Rose: No, I didn't mean that. But it was, it was a better life. I don’t mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. [to Mickey] You know, he showed you too. [continues] You don't just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say "no." You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't!

[The Daleks have cornered the Doctor]

The Doctor: You really wanna think about this. 'Cos if I activate this signal, every living creature dies.

Dalek Emperor: I am immortal.

The Doctor: Do you wanna put that to the test?

Dalek Emperor: I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor, the great exterminator!

The Doctor: I'll do it!

Dalek Emperor: Then prove yourself, Doctor! What are you? Coward or killer?

The Doctor: [hesitates, then finally steps away] Coward. Any day.

Dalek Emperor: Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness.

The Doctor: And what about me? Am I becoming one of your angels?

Dalek Emperor: You are the heathen. You will be exterminated!

The Doctor: Maybe it's time.

The Doctor: Rose Tyler. I was going to take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it. Fantastic place! They've got dogs with no noses! [Laughs] Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke and it's still funny!

Rose: Then... why can't we go?

The Doctor: Maybe you will, and maybe I will. But not like this.

Rose: You're not making sense.

The Doctor: I might never make sense again! I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head, ha! And don't say that's an improvement... But it's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're going to end up with. [he gasps as a burst of regenerative energy erupts from his torso]

Rose: Doctor!

The Doctor: Stay away!

Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on.

The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no one's meant to do that! [chuckles, but then looks up at her seriously] Every cell in my body's dying.

Rose: Can't you do something?

The Doctor: Yeah. I'm doing it now! Time Lords have this little trick. It's sort of a way of cheating death. Except... it means I'm going to change. And I'm not going to see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go--

Rose: Don't say that!

The Doctor: Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So was I! [The Doctor regenerates.]