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Mary Colbert reveals a side of the glitzy festival usually seen
only by those in the know.

The iconic Palais, the red carpet, the pomp, the paparazzi (a
term coined here by Italian director Federico Fellini), the
outrageous beach scenes, the stunts ... these are the cliched
images exported around the globe, but the Cannes Film Festival is
much more than that.

Trying to pinpoint the allure of the Cannes Film Festival, Clint
Eastwood once commented on "the big dichotomy of the photographers
tripping over themselves trying to take your picture and the
topless girls on the beach, and then the absolute highbrow
seriousness of the cinephiles".

What makes Cannes exciting, confusing and frustrating is its
heady, eclectic mix. Under this one umbrella, high art, commerce,
fashion and tawdry porn collide and coexist, but some of the
quirkier facets of this "whorehouse of selling", as Eastwood put
it, are overlooked and unseen. Here are 10 of them.

1. Dog day afternoons In a country where dogs have equal
status with humans if not superior, the Palme Dog (a wry take-off
of Cannes' top laurel, the Palme d'Or) was bound to strike a chord.
Top honours in the award, the brainchild of the Paris-based British
journalist Toby Rose, were shared last year by Edgar and Hoover,
the two flatulent bulldogs of a man who lives by his nose, American
wine critic Robert Parker, that appeared in Jonathan Nossiter's
French wine documentary, Mondovino.

2. Opportunities knock In 1970, when US journalists
arrived in Cannes wearing black armbands following student deaths
in Kent State University protests, little did they know what they
were starting. A few days later similar bands, sporting a gold
border and lettering with "Welcome to Cannes", appeared in the
windows of the entrepreneurial Riviera souvenir shops.

3. Pressing matters Cannes press conferences can be more
diverting than the films themselves. Alan Parker's Midnight
Express "presser" saw fisticuffs involving a Turkish journo,
while Sharon Stone revved up her media call for The Mighty
by asking a male reporter to dance. Bound for Glory's David
Carradine picked up a guitar and burst into This Land is your
Land when asked by reporters to prove he performed the vocals
in the film. Jane Campion's The Piano turned into a scrum
while Robin Williams ran across a street mid-sentence and
mid-conference to kiss a baby.

4. Looking for Harvey He did it for Quentin (Tarantino),
he did it for Mike (Moore) and now he'll do it for you, too. In
Cannes they seek the blessing of the giant 'rabbi' of Cannes,
Harvey Weinstein. They want him to read their script, recognise
their talent and buy, co-produce and distribute their movie. They
even make films about their Harvey quests.

5. The mating game In 1954, Cannes organisers - concerned
about the festival's image after the first breast-baring incident
on the beach - requested classier media stories. Pierre Galante,
the editor of weekly photo magazine Paris Match, obliged. He
agreed to set up a photo session with actor Grace Kelly and
Monaco's dashing Prince Rainier at the royal palace. Romance
blossomed and the couple were married at festival time the
following year. The couple head a long list of Riviera marriages:
actors Ginger Rogers and Jacques Bergerac; Kirk Douglas and the
festival's PR supremo, Anne Buydens; Gregory Peck and his wife
Veronique; and even our own love match between producer Al Clark
(The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), and
Marina Finlay, daughter of eastern suburbs socialite Maria.

6. Crime stories You won't read this in the tourist
brochures, but the Riviera event has long been a paradise for
burglars, pickpockets, thieves and bag snatchers who make the
festival (along with the Monaco Grand Prix) a pilgrimage. No one is
spared: press, directors, Hollywood stars ... even local
heart-throb Jean-Paul Belmondo's wallet disappeared during a
standing ovation.

7. Staying alive The crowds flock around elite hotels
along Cannes' main stretch for a glimpse of stars, but these days
the top-end action takes place at the luxurious Hotel du Cap, 30
minutes' drive from the city. Once the playground of writers F.
Scott Fitzgerald, Somerset Maugham and Graham Greene, artists
Picasso and Matisse, and royalty, it's become a safe haven for
megastars and international film powerbrokers. Madonna, Sean Penn,
Nicole Kidman, Weinstein, Stone and Arnold Schwarzenegger have
enjoyed its privacy, serene spacious grounds, swimming cabanas and,
above all, security. There's even a pet cemetary if required.

8. Greater good But it's not just about prestige, money
and glamour. Under the umbrella of its Cinefoundation, the festival
funds cinema art causes. Each year a scholarship fund enables
successful candidates - many from poorer countries without strong
film infrastructures - to spend 4 1/2 months in its Paris studios
developing their first or second films under the tutelage of
industry mentors.

9. To market What gives Cannes much more clout than other
major film festivals is its official market where art meets
commerce. For non-buyers, a favourite sport is title-spotting in
the porn and Troma sections. How about Killer Condoms, Stuff
Stephanie in the Incinerator, Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town,
Blondes Have More Guns, Rabid Grannies or Cannibal the
Musical?

10. Bees knees-up For some, parties are the raison d'etre
of Cannes. Opening nights for films such as Moulin Rouge and
The Fifth Element are usually the most impressive, but the
most vibrant can be the spontaneous beach parties for an African or
Cuban film or the gypsy music-filled wild events for an Emir
Kusturica movie.

Mary Colbert is working on a book about the other side
of Cannes. This year's festival runs from May 11 to
22.