May 13, 2014

I just got back from mailing my invoice to The Donald T. Sterling Corporation for all my public relations gambits that Sterling used in his triumphant interview with Anderson Cooper tonight.

If you are going to launch a giant PR offensive to restore your battered reputation, always remember to turn first to this blog to see what I think would be epic for you to say (e.g., How many people did Magic Johnson kill by giving them AIDS?), and then say the exact opposite. Unfortunately for Sterling, he's not getting any younger, so he appears to have forgotten the part about saying the opposite. But as the links below will indicate, Sterling sure remembered everything else I posted here.

Disgraced Clippers owner Donald Sterling launched into an extended tirade against Magic Johnson in an interview with CNN, saying that the Lakers legend should be “ashamed” of being HIV-positive and suggesting that he hasn’t financially supported minority communities.

Making his first public statements in the 16 days since his initial racially-charged audio leaked, Sterling apologized for his comments in an interview on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° and said that he was “asking for forgiveness.”

But when the topic turned to Johnson, the 80-year-old Sterling launched into multiple, extended diatribes against one of the most popular NBA players of all time.

“What has he done? Can you tell me? Big Magic Johnson, what has he done? He’s got AIDS,” Sterling told CNN. “Did he do any business? Did he help anybody in South LA?”

Sterling was just getting started.

“What kind of guy goes to every city, has sex with every girl, then he goes and catches HIV,” he said. “Is that someone we want to respect and tell our kids about? I think he should be ashamed of himself. I think he should go into the background. And what does he do for black people? He hasn’t done anything.

“Here’s a man I don’t know if I should say this, he acts so holy. He made love with every girl in every city in America, and he had AIDS, and when he had those AIDS, I went to my synagogue and I prayed for him. I hoped he could live and be well. I didn’t criticize him. I could have. Is he an example for children? You know, because he has money, he’s able to treat himself." ...

Well, that will persuade the media and the public to rethink this whole question of who is the Good Guy and who is the Bad Guy. It will be just like the end of Hans Christian Andersen's "The Emperor's New Clothes" when the whole mob suddenly realizes that the lone truthtelling brave little boy billionaire is right and therefore they were all wrong and hypocritical and venal. That kind of thing happens all the time ...

As Sterling and Cooper’s discussion continued, the Clippers owner tried to draw a distinction between the Jewish community and the African-African community in how each community supports its own members.

Good thinking ... This part I didn't actually recommend, but Sterling is clearly getting into the iSteve spirit and improvising nicely:

"I told you about the loans"

“The Jewish people have a company and it’s for people who want to borrow money for no interest,” he said.

They do?

“We want to give them a fishing pole. We want to help people. if they don’t have money, we’ll loan it to them. There is no African-American …. I’m sorry. they all want to play golf with me, everyone wants to be with me.”

Good work! Comparing blacks to Jews is a surefire road to mass popularity and media approbation.

"You do know who runs this town,
don't you?"

But, next time, Donald, don't forget to mention how everybody knows that Hollywood isn't run by the Jews, it's run by the Gay Jews.

Maybe work in a Bryan Singer conspiracy theory angle.

For example, you could say that your good friend Rip Torn called to tell you this whole Clippers whoop-tee-doo was concocted as a red herring to distract from the Real Story.

"Party's at my suite. Wear your
full dress Wehrmacht uniform."

Trust me, that would go over great.

Sterling also said that Johnson leaked quotes from a conversation the two had had since the first tape was released by TMZ and said that Johnson “lulled” him into remaining quiet after the controversy first began.

“I’m hurt that he called me up and he said don’t do anything,” Sterling told CNN. “[He said], ‘Wait until you hear from me.’ Then someone called me later and said he doesn’t want to be involved. And then he released the tape I sent to him. That I talked to him in confidence.”

Sterling believed Johnson wanted him to wait because, “I think he wanted me to do nothing so he could buy the team. He thought the whole thing would be resolved in two weeks.”

So, yeah, as I wrote back in April, it sounds like Magic set Sterling up to get control of the Clippers. Was the set-up after the tape was released? Or was it before? It would be interesting to know how much contact there was between Magic and V. Stiviano.

"I make Jorge Ramoslook like Anderson Cooper."

And how much discussion was there of the Clippers between Magic, his backers in Guggenheim Partners such as CEO Mark Walter, and, my favorite speculation, between the Guggenheim COO Todd Boehly and Boehly's backer, Mike Milken.

The CNN interview is the first since Sterling was caught on tape berating his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, for posting a photo of Johnson to her Instagram account while making a series of racist remarks. ...

Then, in comments that leaked out last week, Sterling allegedly admitted that “jealousy” fueled his initial comments about Johnson and other African-Americans.

"I'm not actually involved."

“The girl is black. I like her. I’m jealous that she’s with other black guys. I want her,” Sterling allegedly said, according to RadarOnline.com. “I never thought a private conversation would go anywhere out to the public. … I didn’t want her to bring anybody to my game because I was jealous. I mean, I’m being honest.”

That's exactly what I theorized on April 27th. Straight out of Moliere. Now it could be that Sterling is just lying -- he has a lifelong track record of being a terrible person -- but the Jealous Elderly Cuckold theory always made sense.

Johnson, for his part, was furious when the tapes first became public, pledging never to attend a Clippers game until Sterling was removed as owner.

As it became clear that Silver was intent on pushing out Sterling, Johnson’s name was rumored as a possible buyer for the Clippers, and he called on Sterling to sell the team in multiple interviews.

“I would definitely take a look at [buying the Clippers] because I am a businessman,” he said, according to the AFP. “But we here in Los Angeles, whether it’s myself or somebody else, we just want an owner who will include everybody, who will understand diversity and not include all races of people.” ...

Donald Sterling is reportedly battling cancer, and Shelly Sterling suggested in a recent interview that her husband could be suffering from the “onset of dementia.”

So, like maybe when Sterling gets my invoice with the printouts of all my blogposts giving him almost all his best ideas for the Anderson Cooper interview, he won't remember that he didn't actually hire me and just whip out his checkbook. (Darn. I should have included a self-addressed stamped envelope.)

Okay, Donald, you don't have to pay me for the part about how the Elders of Zion give free loans to all Jews while blacks would rather golf than fish -- that was all yours and it's genius stuff.

The Demented Billionaire niche sounds like a promising market for my knack for coming up with what exactly will most please contemporary America. (Call me anytime, Sheldon!)

... Asked specifically about Stiviano, the 80-year-old Sterling broke down in tears, painting her as a “good person” that he cared about, while also pointing out her disadvantaged background.

“She’s a good person, she’s a beautiful person,” Sterling said. “There’s 15 of her, 15 children, 15 Hispanic kids, sisters and brothers (in her family), and she supports them all. Perhaps she’s made some mistakes. I thought she cared for me. I was stupid. How could a girl care for a man 51 years older? She wouldn’t release those tapes. She’s not a bad person. ...

“I made such a mistake,” he told CNN. “I thought that woman really cared for me. but thank God, this has all come to the light, because it could have been worse. I don’t know what she wants, I don’t know how it happened.”

Sterling also told CNN that he believed Stiviano “baited” him into making the comments.

“I don’t know why the girl had me say those things,” he said. “Yes, I was baited. That’s not the way I talk. … When I listen to that tape I don’t even know how I could say words like that. I’m not a racist. I love people. … An 80-year-old man is kind of foolish, and I’m kind of foolish. I thought she liked me and really cared for me. I guess being 50 years older than her, I was deluding myself.”

"This post has got to be in the running for funniest iSteve post of all time"

"Yup"

Tim Howells

5/13/14, 2:42 AM DeleteAnonymous capybara said...This story is turning out to have every bit of the entertainment value it promised. Unfortunately, I suspect our puritanical p.c. media masters will limit any fun we have with it to the internet and private conversation.

5/13/14, 2:56 AM DeleteAnonymous SFG said...There's a secret company to give interest-free loans to Jews? Where do I get one? I had never heard of this.

5/13/14, 3:47 AM DeleteBlogger AMac said...Steve, maybe you could you advise Sterling to put in a few good words for Cotton Mather and Joe McCarthy? Perhaps he should offer to buy a party house for the Duke Lacrosse team? A tongue bath for Vladimir Putin, you already thought of.

All great stuff. Makes me proud to be an American.

5/13/14, 3:56 AM DeleteAnonymous Jonathan Silber said...To inoculate himself against the attacks by Sterling on his character, Magic need only announce he's dumping his wife Cookie for Conchita the Eurovision bearded transvestite.

5/13/14, 5:33 AM DeleteAnonymous ben tillman said...Unfortunately, I suspect our puritanical p.c. media masters will limit any fun we have with it to the internet and private conversation.

Puritanical?

5/13/14, 5:54 AM DeleteAnonymous Anonymous said...“The Jewish people have a company and it’s for people who want to borrow money for no interest,” he said.

5/13/14, 6:11 AM DeleteAnonymous slumber_j said...On the subject of the interest-free loans to Jews etc., here's a thing I keep trying to make happen: getting people to refer to Yankees pitching coach Larry Rothschild as "The International Jewish Pitching Conspiracy."

"Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy."

Clearly Sterling's practice of housing discrimination (in leasing and evictions) is a much more harmful type of racism than what's on the tape, however what's on the tape is still racism, honestly I think much of the reaction to this is a performance (and I suspect the Clippers and other NBA players were mostly taking advantage of an opportunity that presented itself to attempt to get rid of a terrible, racist old team owner), I'm not saying there isn't genuine offense, what Sterling said was genuinely offensive, but until one knows the rest of his history some of the reaction to the incident seems a bit over the top (and most of the responses outside the sports and housing discrimination worlds did not know about that until after a day or two at least). What Sterling said is the same kind of racist shit lots of other old men say except most of those old men aren't billionaires who sleep with young women and own NBA teams, so for them it's not newsworthy and people stay quiet about it because why ruin thanksgiving by confronting grandpa about his racism once again to no avail. Do I think Sterling should lose his team, yes but not because of that tape, because of all the years of housing discrimination, but ultimately I think it would be more beneficial if he were no longer allowed to own property to lease (or manage it without owning it) and could no longer enact housing discrimination.

Even if sleeping with hundreds of people a year is indicative of objectifying women, and let's say for the sake of argument that Magic did that back I'm the day, is there any proof or even any indication that he still objectifies women or is incapable of forming attachments (although I'm not sure why or how these sorts of attatchment problemss are indictive of character flaws, perhaps he's just aromatic or wasn't interested in relationships at that point in his life) or any other problematic things, that was more than twenty years ago and since that time he got what was thought at that time to be a death sentence and is now understood that with the right (very expensive) medications that is no longer the case for most people and instead it's a chronic illness. To me that sounds like an experience that could be profoundly life changing. Don't you think that experience might have changed him and that along with normal amounts of change and the general changes in society during that even if he once had those attitudes that there is a chance that his views are different now? Donald Sterling on the other hand seems to have been almost unrepentantly racist until now when he's about to lose his team, and his excuse/apology was pathetic, he was trying to get into a black woman's pants by telling her not to take photos with or bring black men to basketball games, but sure fuck them if you want, it doesn't make any sense.

I just read a transcript of Donald Sterling’s interview with Anderson Cooper and while Magic Johnson doesn’t need me to, I feel compelled on behalf of the NBA family to apologize to him that he continues to be dragged into this situation and be degraded by such a malicious and personal attack. The NBA Board of Governors is continuing with its process to remove Mr. Sterling as expeditiously as possible.

I wanted him to bare his soul, tell what he thinks is the truth about race and everything, and while the official jihad against him may not have died down any time soon, I think there would be a grass roots public turnaround.

Does anybody reading this comment thread happens to know a fabulously rich man who wants to be a patron of the arts? Probably not, but if so, please strongly suggest to him that he give Steve a hefty donation so that Steve can take some time to produce a comedic novel or a movie script.

Of course, Steve's ideas being more-or-less radioactive to respectable opinion, it would take at least several years to get anyone to publish the novel or produce the film. By then, the entire plotline will have actually happened in real life, and it will be considered The Most Serious Thing Ever To Happen In All Of History, so joking about it will be Verboten.

"Does anybody reading this comment thread happens to know a fabulously rich man who wants to be a patron of the arts? Probably not, but if so, please strongly suggest to him that he give Steve a hefty donation so that Steve can take some time to produce a comedic novel or a movie script."

So the ESPN comments, which were at first uniformly anti-Sterling are turning. There's a backlash forming (and given that the system is non-anonymous, it's only the tip of the iceberg). Not that the elites care.

The Hebrew Free Loan Association is a volunteer group with branches in many communities. They give interest free loans, BUT you need a co signer for each increment of loan. Decades ago when I was young it was one co signer per thousand dollars, now it's probably a larger increment.

If you don't repay the principal, your consigners must cover the debt. You are expected to do the same for someone else later on when you are more prosperous, which I did.

I think it's an admirable model because it offers help with accountability, the opposite of the entitlement mentality.

Something went on that night as he can be heard to say that Ervin "Magic" Johnson indulgences led him to "catch" HIV and there is no need to doctor the tape.

Ms V Sawyer of The Observer pointed out that one of the Oasis brothers was wrong to say that he hoped Damon Albarn caught HIV because caught is the past tense of catch and you do not catch HIV.

Ms V Sawyer of The Guardian said that Freddie Mercury got HIV. How? Won it in a raffle? Had it installed by modem? No he caught it which goes to show there is one rule for cis gendered female journalism chicks like Selena Roberts, Janet Cooke, Margaret Wente, Joann Hari, Lilian "Lucky" Luciano, Ruth Shalit, Patricia Smith, Judith Miller, Joan Juliet Buck.

Owen Scott said... Clearly Sterling's practice of housing discrimination (in leasing and evictions) is a much more harmful type of racism than what's on the tape, however what's on the tape is still racism,

Could you sketch out what you mean by "racism" here and why "racism" is bad?

The Bible bans usury. Jews took this to mean no charging interest on loans made to Jews. Christians took this to mean no charging interest on loans made by Christians. So yes, both know perfectly well usury is bad for the debtor.

I bet if you run Owen Scott and Ted Bell's posts through the right computer program they have the same letters the same number of times, and used in the right sequence form the password to Cheyenne Mountain complex.

Totally off topic, Steve, but I just finished watching the MILIUS documentary on NETFLIX. Fascinating stuff. From an HBD angle, it was very interesting to see the shots showing Milius standing with George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. His bear-like frame next to their slenderness. Physiognomy as destiny? The hormonal defining the political?

It's odd how AIDS has always gotten a pass from the beautiful people. I don't know about Magic Johnson but I'm pretty sure that Rock Hudson knowingly killed more young victims to fulfill his sexual cravings than did 'Jack the Ripper'.

Old 'Leather Apron' only killed five women and they died quick. Hudson gave a horrible incurable disease and a lingering death to perhaps twice that many. He was a monster albeit a tall, handsome and charming monster.

There have been some very interesting statements made by Sterling, but sadly very few people actually listen to full interviews (or illegally taped conversations) anymore. Most of this will never be reported to a wide audience outside of headlines and tweets proclaiming "Sterling Says Magic Should Be Ashamed of Having AIDS". The media know quite well how to focus the conversation on one fraction of the whole story, casting aside all the rest that they find inconvenient.

Is it common knowledge that Rock Hudson was a pitcher rather than a catcher? The old joke in the gay community, of course, is that gay life is "a thousand bottoms looking for a top." Hudson may not be responsible for a single death. When you talk about gays strangely getting a pass from libs or women, AIDS deaths kind of miss the point. Even absent a deadly virus, why don't women view as disgusting people who engage in practices that women would call the cops about if suggested to them? Does Maureen Dowd not know about analingus?

Oh, that's why she needed her four luxury cars and a 1.8milly duplex in beverly hills, so she could take care of all her siblings since they don't have a place to stay or cars to drive, so she takes care of them all in her official capacity as a working gold digger.

The Jewish company Sterling is talking about is called "gmilat hasidim" and feeds families in need. The loans are confidential to avoid shaming the person receiving the assistance and his family. The people financing the scheme are also unnamed, because in Judaism giving in secret has more merit than giving alms in public. No papers are signed yet most loans are returned as soon as the situation improves.

Sterling was pointing out that we Jews care for our honest poor, while millionaire Magic gives nothing to needy Africans but AIDS virus to girls in every town he visits. As Steve points out, to tell the truth in America is bad public relations. Only senile old Jews commit that mistake.

Jewish free-loan societies demonstrate just how wise Jews are with providing social services to their community. This is representative of the high social trust that Sailerites wish for. It's also representative of the beneficiaries' responsibility, without which the charitable efforts could not exist. Why is this something to be mocked?

There's no zero-sum game here. Other ethnic groups would be better off if they did the same too. In fact, Korean-American communities provide cheap loans to Korean entrepreneurs.

Jewish free-loan societies demonstrate just how wise Jews are with providing social services to their community. This is representative of the high social trust that Sailerites wish for. It's also representative of the beneficiaries' responsibility, without which the charitable efforts could not exist. Why is this something to be mocked?"

I see nothing wrong with such an arrangement. What is telling is that Jews can do it. So could Chinese, or Indians, or Blacks. But what would happen if some white gentiles set up a private, non-profit organization to extend no-interest loans to other white gentiles - explicity to help out their own kind. Do you really think that such an enterprise would be allowed to exist for long?

Here's the Google Wallet FAQ. From it: "You will need to have (or sign up for) Google Wallet to send or receive money. If you have ever purchased anything on Google Play, then you most likely already have a Google Wallet. If you do not yet have a Google Wallet, don’t worry, the process is simple: go to wallet.google.com and follow the steps." You probably already have a Google ID and password, which Google Wallet uses, so signing up Wallet is pretty painless.

You can put money into your Google Wallet Balance from your bank account and send it with no service fee.

Google Wallet works from both a website and a smartphone app (Android and iPhone -- the Google Wallet app is currently available only in the U.S., but the Google Wallet website can be used in 160 countries).

Or, once you sign up with Google Wallet, you can simply send money via credit card, bank transfer, or Wallet Balance as an attachment from Google's free Gmail email service. Here'show to do it.

(Non-tax deductible.)

Fourth: if you have a Wells Fargo bank account, you can transfer money to me (with no fees) via Wells Fargo SurePay. Just tell WF SurePay to send the money to my ancient AOL email address steveslrATaol.com -- replace the AT with the usual @). (Non-tax deductible.)

Fifth: if you have a Chase bank account (or, theoretically,other bank accounts), you can transfer money to me (with no fees) via Chase QuickPay (FAQ). Just tell Chase QuickPay to send the money to my ancient AOL email address (steveslrATaol.com -- replace the AT with the usual @). If Chase asks for the name on my account, it's Steven Sailer with an n at the end of Steven. (Non-tax deductible.)

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