Relationships

In his Op-Ed article this week on hookup culture in college, Bob Laird links binge drinking and casual sex to sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, confusion, low self-esteem, unhappiness, vomiting, ethical retardation, low grades and emotional inadequacy. "How nice of The Times to include this leftover piece from 1957 today," snarked a reader in the online comments. Fair enough, but Laird is more than out of touch. He also fundamentally misunderstands hookup culture, the relationships that form within it and the real source of the problems arising from some sexual relationships.

October 7, 1990 | DIANE SWANBROW, Swanbrow is a Toluca Lake free-lance writer who has two sisters.

GWEN, 60, HAS SEEN MORE of her older sister Bette, 63, since moving to California several years ago than she did when they both lived in the same state. "I think it's because absence makes the heart grow fonder," Gwen says. "Bette got married when I was 18 and we never spent much time together until I moved out here. She's been here twice to visit, and we spend two or three weeks together--which is about the most time we've spent together in 40 years. We talk a lot about our mom and dad and about old times.

Squash that needy inner child. Quit calling yourself an enabler. And don't even mention your co-dependence--unless you want to repel a mate or love interest. No more pop-psychology self-analysis. No more blaming relationship problems on long past trauma-dramas or less-than-perfect parents (relax now, moms). None of these excuses will fly in what one expert calls "Do Something" 1995. "Psychobabble is dead," declares psychologist Pat Hudson, author of "Love Is a Verb," to be published in '95 by W.W. Norton.

Known for being “scrupulously unsentimental,” writer Susanna Sonnenberg has turned her sharp eye toward female friendships in the candid memoir “She Matters: A Life in Friendships.” The book, which comes to shelves Jan. 8, describes the missteps, delights, betrayals, and lasting psychological effects of friendships between women. Sonnenberg is no stranger to astutely examining her most intimate relationships: “She Matters” follows “Her Last Death,” the acclaimed memoir that delved deep into Sonnenberg's relationship with her charismatic and destructive mother. We had the pleasure of chatting with Sonnenberg about the process and challenges of writing an intimate memoir - as well as the emotional significance of the intense bonds between women. This is the second memoir you have written -- what drives your impulse toward memoir?

Seventh in a series of occasional stories. Mark Mayer calls them "the hard times," the weeks and months when his teenage daughter would simply disappear for days on end. "I wouldn't sleep at night," he remembers. "I just didn't think she was in the right place. " Mayer has spent most of his adult life entertaining kids as a toy designer for Mattel. But raising them was an entirely different matter as he found out when his three daughters came to live with him in a two-bedroom apartment in Woodland Hills after his divorce.

November 27, 2010 | By Michael Ordoña, Special to the Los Angeles Times

"Break Ke Baad" ("After the Break") is a slick, savvy Bollywood romantic comedy that comes across as downright Western ? for better and for worse. It's mostly for the better, as its surprisingly modern depiction of young adult relationships suits the believable performances of charming leads Imran Khan and Deepika Padukone. Khan's Abhay, son of a cinema owner, and Padukone's Aaliya, his classmate and free spirit, are perfectly suited childhood sweethearts ? her wildness keeps his steadiness afloat.

A letter writer (May 21) wonders: If same-sex marriage is made legal, what is to prevent persons wanting to engage in polygamous, incestuous or underage marriage from using the "same argument" to ask for legal recognition of those relationships? He then states that no one can answer that question because, he says, there is no answer. There is an answer: They wouldn't be using the same argument. The laws proscribing polygamous or incestuous relationships do not discriminate. No one, straight or gay, may have such relationships recognized.