Monthly Archives: February 2014

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"So it exists solely to be placed on a bed before I throw it on the floor to use the bed? What a waste of pillow. You could turn these square bed pillows rectangular with the stuffing in this bolster."

Idea: A bed of Pocky. Like a bed of nails, but with Pocky.

Idea: A Japanese snack spa. Hot mochi massage on a bed of Pocky. Yan Yan bath. Exfoliation by scrubbing with Shrimp Flavored Chips.

I have only one game on my mobile – Fairway Solitaire. I read about it years ago on Penny Arcade and downloaded the app last year to kill time during train rides. I know I've set at least 10 all-time records.

Did you know that the actor who played Sean Cameron on Degrassi: The Next Generation is now a reporter for Fusion, ABC and Univision's joint news channel venture?

The biggest knock against me professionally is that I am not proactive enough. It's a criticism that has followed me to every job I've had.

Being proactive goes against who I am existentially, though. I am not, by nature, someone who will expend energy on stuff that may not be necessary. I'll do what you ask of me, I'll do it fast, I'll do it well, but I won't do any more unless I have to. My modus operandi is efficiency.

Also, passion facilitates proactivity, and, well, I love nothing. In high school, I was voted "most likely to host an informercial," yet I can't for the life of me sell interest in a job. I'm fortunate that my current employer accepts that I work to live.

Denver's public transportation has the nicest seats of any public transportation system I've ever used. Plumply cushioned seats on municipal buses? Inconceivable.

Jon: The first screening is at Boulder High School.Pepe: Is that where the shooting happened?Jon: [pause]

Jon: How do you not know Columbine? Shit, you won a Pulitzer Prize for covering a school shooting!

Our film also screened in Boulder at eTown Hall, a repurposed church – one of several repurposed buildings that I visited in Colorado. The restaurant Linger is a repurposed mortuary; the restaurant Root Down is a repurposed gas station/garage; three colleges share a student union that is a repurposed brewery; and The Source, a public market, is a repurposed steel foundry. They all retain historic charms niftily and harmoniously, unlike, say, Limelight Shops in New York City.

8. Ross and Rachel (Looking, S01E05 / Television Episode of the Year Nominee)

Stray Observations

"I can see your soul at the edges of your eyes. It's corrosive, like acid. You've got a demon, little man. There's a shadow in you, son." (True Detective, S01E05)

"Why should I live in history, huh? Fuck, I don't wanna know anything anymore. This is a world where nothing is solved. Someone once told me time is a flat circle. Everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over again." (True Detective, S01E05)

"In eternity, where there is no time, nothing can grow, nothing can become, nothing changes. So death created time to grow the things that it would kill." (True Detective, S01E05)

All the Emmys to Emmy Rossum and Jeremy Allen White (Shameless, S04E06)

Lena Dunham in a bikini forever (Girls, S03E07)

I am elated that a weekly magic television programme exists (Troy, S01E02)

Tyler and Chloe's cryptid (Face Off, S06E06)

"I'm sick of living cum to cum." (Workaholics, S04E05)

"Don't you dare listen to this bro-life propaganda. It's poppycock is what it is." (Workaholics, S04E05)

The Taste Season Grade: C

"Our reward is dinner with the original cast of Revenge of the Nerds." (King of the Nerds, S02E05)

How sick is the cast of eating Little Caesars pizza? (King of the Nerds, S02E05)

My niece's birthday is next week. She wants a Frozen doll – you know, the animated film – but I'm not sure which princess she wants. There are two, and I can't remember the name she said.

I think she wants Elsa? But then, what if someone else gets her an Elsa doll too? What if she told other people that she wants an Elsa doll? I want my present to be unique. I want to be the person who got her an Elsa doll.

Children should have registries for birthdays.

Brisket Candle
Each candle is handcrafted in small batches with great attention to detail to create the perfect blend of smoked brisket and aged hickory.

Denver's airport is like an oasis. I understand building an airport on the outskirts of a city because of noise pollution, but Denver's airport could be miles closer and still isolated. Also, that airport hotels are seven miles away from the airport is odd, particularly when most of the land within seven miles of the airport is undeveloped.

7. The long tracking shot — it lasts a shade under six minutes — that follows Rust through the stash house and then during his elaborate escape to Marty's car with a prisoner in tow (True Detective, S01E04)

Idea: Filter comments on the Internet by age of commenter. "Show only comments by people [over] age [30]."

Reality Show Idea: Yelp House. 12 Yelp Elite live together and perform various food/service-oriented challenges, after which they critique each other's performances, and the person with the lowest number of stars is evicted. The 10 evictees return to judge the final challenge. The prize is a trip around the world with meals at restaurants that are almost impossible to get into.

B: Hey, can you pick up Max and Sophie today?Jon: Sure. Huff?B: No.Jon: Seems like you enroll them in a different school each year.B: In the JCC – Helios School for Gifted Children.Jon: Heh. Your kids are mutants?

Jon: Yecch-men.B: Stop.

Jon: What do you call this shape?

Chris: A triangle.Jon: Its hypotenuse is curved, though.Chris: A concave right triangle.Jon: Don't the sides of a triangle have to be straight lines?Chris: The name "triangle" suggests that having three angles is more important.Jon: Well, that triangle's three angles don't add up to 180°.

"This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I've led a very fortunate life!" (New Girl, S03E15)

"I am Frank Skabopolis!" (New Girl, S03E15)

"That's the Nia Vardalos." (New Girl, S03E15)

"Stop eating crab wrong!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E16)

"I'm fancy. One time, I had coffee-flavoured ice cream." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E16)

"Disposing murder victims for money, well, that leaves a bad taste in a Christian's mouth. A small town don't run on a 24-hour news cycle. A small town never forgets. Now word's gonna burn through these hills and hollers like a wildfire. People of Harlan County, rich and poor, will marvel at your debasement and venality. They will spit venom when they speak your name, and they will take your suicide as the last pact of a coward. Now your reputation is ruined, your good word worthless, but death will not be the end of your suffering. For generations, your children, and your children's children, will have a mark against their name, and that will be your legacy." (Justified, S05E05)

Canada's first name is actually Bryant but Squally is the nickname that stuck after it was given to him by his father. On the way home from the hospital the day he was born, his dad started calling him Boo-Squally. Shortly after, it just became Squally. [source]

Bruno Mars has released two albums, both ten songs long, and both yielding six singles. Including "It Will Rain," almost two-thirds of his oeuvre is singles. That's Beatles fertile. He could issue a legitimate greatest hits album right now.