Monday

Vacation Diaries #1

I was so excited to go on my first nanny vacation. I had only been with the family for three months when they spoke of their Spring Break Plans. I'm going to keep some things vague to protect the innocent, that being the kids.

Wait, let me back up. I don't have a nanny contract. I care for two children who are not quite school aged and one who is. Let's call the young children A and B and the older child C. The woman I work for is always working but I don't know that she makes money (or needs to). She is always on the go, has an office and apartment in NYC. The father works in Greenwich and NYC. We reside in CT. I am a live-in nanny. I live in what would be considered a basement, although on the back and sides, it is full length open, with lots of windows. The basement houses me and the housekeeper. The housekeeper is an older woman who has been with them over ten years. I mention this because my accommodations are nice. I didn't expect them to be, but they are. My nanny vehicle is nice. So when my employer told me about the trip to "Exotica", I jumped at the chance. I showed my excitement.
She said things like, "frozen drinks on the beach" and "there's a camp program for the kids they can go to all day, half day, either, or" and "the hotel has sitters for night, so if you want some down time, we will just got a hotel sitter".

We end up flying on a commercial airline. I end up sitting, I kid you not, in the very last seat of coach, right in front of the bathroom. This did not bother me though as I had plenty of room and no kids. My ticket was not bought at the same time as the family's, so this is why I am not with them. The family is in first class. From my seat, I can hear crying and whining. It does not stop. It's them all the way in first class. A fuming male employer stomps back and brings me both A & B. And with attitude, like I have done something. Right away, it makes me feel like crap. Of course, now it's just me and my stuff and no kid stuff, so I have to walk all the way back up there to get one of their kid's backpack. The stewardess stops me and tells me, "Oh no!" as if. I collect a backpack and slink back to the back where I am able to entertain and delight the kids for the next three hours. I change diapers. Only thing I can't do is pee. I have to urinate badly. Pretty soon,we're landing.

From the back of the plane, we are of course the last to get off. I land in a foreign country with A & B. You would think the parents would have waited for me. They are nowhere to be seen. It takes me ten real minutes to find them. When I finally do, they look exasperated. (They had one older, well behaved child between the two of them? Oh please!). I start to say I need to go to the bathroom, they hurry me here and there and then through customs. Next we are in some crazy van driving dangerous roads at mach speed. I have to pee so badly. I have one child on my lap and one cuddled up in my side. The children start talking about the pool and the beach. We get to the hotel and as check in is still going on, the misses, instructs me to take the kids down to the beach. I have done the packing so I know that there is one bag with swimsuits, swimmies, sunblock, etc. I ask for it. She rolls her eyes at me.

I take all three kids to a bathroom by the pool and get them changed and get sun block on. They are trying to get away. My swimsuit is in my bag. I don't know where that is. So I am wearing heavy poplin capris, a tank top, a sweatshirt, running socks and shoes. I figure, I can do this and try to take them to swim, but we don't have what we need yet for the pool, so I drag all three kids and this huge bag down to the beach. Once we hit the sand, each kid runs a different direction. I spent the next two hours chasing children on the beach. I never had time to even put sunblock on myself. I went in the ocean in socks and tennis shoes.

When the Misses finally comes for me, she is dressed in a sexy black bikini, with kicki heels she carries in her hand, a stack of books, a massive sunhat and a confused expression. She says, "I was so jealous knowing you were out here. Lucky you, I got the kids unpacked for you". I ask if I can go put my suit on. She looks at me annoyed and says, "well take one of them with you". As I walk off to find the room she has told me to go to, I see her ordering up a chaise and a drink.

In the room, the Mister tells me that there are two rooms, one for the kids and one for them. He tells me my bag is in the kids room on the ROLLAWAY. I quickly get dressed, spray my whole head and body with sunblock and literally run back to the beach. I am dying of thirst. The first thing she says to me is, "Did you bring some juices for the kids". I look at her confused. "WHATTTT??" I want to scream, but I don't. I instead go play in the water and build sand castles for three more hours. I handle every bathroom break, every reapplication of sunblock and every commissary request. The kids and I drink pineapple juice all afternoon.

At five, we head back to the room. I am burning and covered in sand. So, are the children. She tells me that the kids all need baths. That's it, and walks away. We have our own bathroom in our room, so I bathe the kids one at a time, while entertaining them all in the bathroom for the next hour. Im starving. I'm tired. I'm wet. I bring all three kids out to the living area completely dressed. Mom and Dad are also dressed. They look at me and the Missus says with a laugh, "I know it's casual, but you'll want to dress for dinner". Huh? So literally have to ask her to watch the children while I shower. I am as quick as I can and come out dressed in a skirt and shirt and sandals.

Next question for me is, "do you want the stroller?" I must have just looked confused every minute. What for? Well, I am taking all three kids for an early dinner myself. I take the stroller and the kids. I shove their food in my mouth. I grow bitter. The process including the walk takes an hour and a half. When I get back, there is a NOTE for me, it reads, "went for a walk before dinner, if you want to go out tonight, call the main desk and get a sitter to come and stay with the kids. PS. Don't leave until the kids are asleep".

What?

So this was my next eight days. For one minor thing and that is, when I took the kids to breakfast, lunch and dinner or to swim at the pool, I ordered drinks. I ordered food. I ordered appetizers. Mostly, I ordered food to indulge and prevent myself from being drunk, but I drank 24/7 those next days and managed to have an okay time. The parents were complete assholes to me, who sometimes seemed to act like they didn't know me or us! They dined alone, they went out alone. They went to the beach alone, they rented a boat alone. She went to the spa three days, he went deep sea fishing. I resigned myself to have a good time.

I made lots of friends from other Americans with, but mostly without nannies. They all seemed to be in awe of me. Seriously. I got home on a Monday. I still hadn't been paid for last Friday. So, when my boss does pay me that Monday, he says, in a joking way, "and we paid for everything, so your check is in tact". What??? I worked 24/7 for 8 days! I was so exhausted. And they expected me the next morning at 715! Bitterness overcame and I lasted only three weeks after that vacation. I would never go on a family vacation again without specific plans and a very specific pay rate! I was totally duped. And that whole eight days, all three kids and I slept in one bed, so much for ever going out, because the kids were very needy and wouldn't go to sleep on time or stay asleep. One night I got a sitter, but she seemed harsh and I couldn't leave her with the kids in good faith.

21 comments:

Your family actually sounds worse than my last family, and I didn't think that was possible! Good for you for leaving after that. And I agree, I would definitely love to hear the story of how you quit.

Even with nice considerate families, travel can be stressful. Kids may have trouble sleeping, not like the food, you never have everything you need no matter how much you pack, the hours are long, and you are cooped up in a hotel room with your charges. That is why so many nannies won't take jobs that require travel. If you do however, it should be worth it financially. In your contract you should have under travel: your own room, overtime rate for more than regular daytime hours, plus overnight rate, and all expenses including meals covered. If you are going for a week or more, make sure you agree with your employers on whether you will have your regular days off or not.

I prefer not to travel with families because it is work. How I have handled this is letting the family know up front what I require to travel. They can require that I travel as part of my job, but they cannot require that I get paid this and not that. I set my travel rates high enough that I hope to discourage parents from wanting me to travel with them. A couple of times I have. I give 100% to the family in those cases and it helps knowing I am putting away a good amount of extra money for my vacation. Even though the vacations are work, and as the poster shows, there is no time for yourself, I have been able to carve out some great memories and lots of good times. In betwixt all the work, and Lord Almighty, is it work!

I prefer not to travel with families because it is work. How I have handled this is letting the family know up front what I require to travel. They can require that I travel as part of my job, but they cannot require that I get paid this and not that. I set my travel rates high enough that I hope to discourage parents from wanting me to travel with them. A couple of times I have. I give 100% to the family in those cases and it helps knowing I am putting away a good amount of extra money for my vacation. Even though the vacations are work, and as the poster shows, there is no time for yourself, I have been able to carve out some great memories and lots of good times. In betwixt all the work, and Lord Almighty, is it work!

F*CK traveling with the family. It's never the Utopia for the nanny that's sold to her beforehand. And even if you have an agreement about terms beforehand and they just decide to violate it for sh*ts and giggles during the trip? You're god knows where with the family, probably far from your own home/surroundings and basically at their mercy. NO BUENO.

I'm traveling with my 9 mo twin charges in June (who will be 11 months) we have a set schedule (I don't get up before 8am most days, nights off etc) and set pay. And I'm leaving a day early for a family function and I'm excited! MB & DB and I respect each other, they listen to my views (keeping the boys in rearfacing carseats) and ask advice.

I once traveled with a family who had 2 children's under 3. We went to a carribean beach and on the plane ride there dad sat in first class while me, mom and 2 kids sat in coach. I didn't expect I would ride first class but found it strange). While in first class dad met another couple who invited them on boat the next day. The parents left at 7am and returned at 6pm. The first day was horrible! I was alon with 2 kids at a condo that was not super kid friendly. They were both afraid to get into ocean water so had a hard time entertaining them with little to work with! When the parents got back the dad said," do you mind taking the kids to the pool so we can rest?" Ummm..:I was so drained, sun burned and mentally exhausted I couldn't contain my shocked look. Mom joined me at the pool while dad napped. The trip consisted of the kids coming into my room at 5:30am (parents sleeping until 8:30/9) and doing mainly all child related duties! The mom was nice and we worked more as a team but the dad avoided his kids, demanded things be done (while he sat on the couch texting), drank too much (to the point he passed out on a lawn chair at pool overnight) and was a complete annoyance to be around. I asked for 4 days off when we got home because I was so burnt out! (They originally asked I come at 7am the next day). I will never ever EVER travel with a family again. I even told myself that when I have kids, we won't be going on a beach vacation until they can play independently and are good swimmers!

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