[The Listserve] DSM- We: Drugs, Sex, and Mental Wellness

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Find a comfortable position. If you read anything with intention today, how would that look? Notice the quality of your breathing. Shallow or deep? Is it audible? How about physiological sensation in the body? You have no idea where I’m taking you. Is there heat or cold? Where do you feel most supported? Any tension? Be curious.

Bring gentle awareness to sensation in the body. What happens? Does it change? I’m sure the title of this post stirred you in some way. Ready? Let’s begin.

Drugs: Psychoactive substances are powerful teachers. Integrating intention and community are two of the most effective strategies for overcoming fear around challenging experiences. Journey together and with compassion. We are accountable to the history and lineage of what we take. Privilege is real. Colonization is real. Humility is key.

The first time I used was an act of defiance
Young adult, moonlighting as self-reliant
Flagrant imposter, turned veritable giant
In all reality, I was just open to trying it.

I danced between desire and disaster on a thin line of keta-MINE
Where my primordial needs often superseded my community needs
I sniffed, snorted, huffed, swallowed, chewed, dropped, hit, and drove
Virtually driving in the same lane, without realizing how I cut off
The parts of humanity, bearing the same burdens as me
Less privilege. Easier to blame. Projected shame. Disdain.

Sex: Sexuality is more than who you fuck. Your sexual wellbeing encompasses the entire spectrum of relationships you have during your life: most importantly, with yourself. You have a right to positive sexuality. I endorse a healthy entitlement when it comes to your love, relationships, and desires. You are strong, capable, and deserving of love.

In my world of love, sex and intimacy
Desire dripped from my lips with just enough lube to keep my hair slicked back
When I look over photos of a closeted young man,
I see bold, contemptuous curls
Hair - unwilling to be tamed, no matter the product.

As I bought my one-way ticket out of shame station
There was just me facing: An unknown. A community?
An idea based on a rainbow and something called unity.
Sex with impunity.
Would that give me immunity? Oh and don’t forget that hair gel.
For as I look back over that hair swell, I felt confused as hell.
Deeply yearning to be received well
Desiring intimacy deep where my fears dwelled.

Mental Wellness: Our bodies are not only the repositories for joy, pain, or action, they are also soulful containers of wisdom. Most people do a great job at downplaying sensation in the body. There is power in knowing how YOUR body responds. I make space for people to invite in, tolerate, and accept uncertainty.

Do you experience fear or doubt? Buddhist teachings invites us to physically lower ourselves to the ground so that we connect with the earth. In joining with the soil, we quite literally become grounded.

On Endings: Concluding is a challenge. Not only in writing, but also in our relationships: to self, to our work, and certainly to others. Over the past 360 seconds, I invited you into my world. We shared a digital relationship and now we come to an end. Notice any sensation? Did anything shift? How do you know? These are tender topics, and I encourage you to hold them with ease. If you feel stirred, reach out. Music, nature, and friends can be great resources. Your greatest gift is you. The world is waiting to receive what you have to offer. Do you feel me?