Awards & Honors

Yesh, Right! I don't HAVE any "Awards & Honors" - so nominate me for something - I want one of those badge things to put here. I don't care what it is - make up your own award and give it to me. I'm not picky.

Endorsements

"I'm so tired of laughing until pop squirts out my nose and I have to change my underpants after every post."
-Lisa Ann

"Forget Lake Wobegone: I like hearing about Malone, where most of the children are below average, and half the adults are under arrest." - Mike

Our Kim she has a blog and she posts stuff about Malone
Of deadbeats, ads, and history, and things that she has sewn
Her husband has a Harley barn and eats while he is prone
Our Kim she is such a fucking bitch
Makes my ass itch
Our Kim she is such a fucking bitch
- Darkon (to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)

Archive for the ‘Art & Crafts’ Category

So, I went and picked up all my stuff from the fair. Ended up with 18 ribbons – most of them blue – and a nice little tidy sum in prize money. The one thing that surprised me the most was that the crocheted ABC afghan won first place for “Crocheted Afghans”. Now, granted, the afghan is cute and it’s a fun pattern – but really, I haven’t crocheted in YEARS. No, really, YEARS, so it was really, really surprising to me that this thing won anything, let alone first place in the Afghan category.

Val was kind enough to take a picture of it for me, since I refused to pay their extortion admission fee to get into the fair.

Very cool, right? especially considering I don’t even know how to crochet very well.

The mittens won first place, as did the daisy hat and the alligator scarf and the green lace scarf. The girl’s sweater won second, and most everything else won, as well. The sewed outfits, the orange set, the adult hat….everything got first or second.

And now I’m up to my armpits in ribbons. Which is nice, but I would like Paul to make me some kind of frame or something so I can hang them in the sewing room – that would be nice, right?

I gave the alligator scarf and the daisy hat and the ABC afghan to Val. Just because I love her kids.

And I made a real quick set for a friend who had a new baby boy. This entire set takes one night to make (big needles, big yarn – gotta love that).

And now to decide what to make for next year and the fair – always the hardest part. I may even try crocheting another afghan – although I don’t expect lightning to strike twice on THAT matter.

Oh – and Paul and I did go to the fair the night before it officially closed (free admission, again, but, again, the Domestic Arts building wasn’t open.) But when we were walking into the gate I saw Nathaniel Marshall – he of “American Idol” fame. His pants were REALLY tight. And he has blonde hair now. Looks good. But his pants were REALLY, REALLY tight.

In Other News: Val had a shit and run at her house. Funny, huh? Someone went into her driveway, squatted and took a shit in between her cars. They even took off their dirty underwear and threw them in her neighbors yard. Classy.

And I guess they didn’t bring along any reading material, because they got bored and fiddled with the valve stem on her husband’s SUV for something to occupy their time and let all the air out of the tire.

You know, you have to wonder about people – you just do.

In OTHER other news, there is apparently a new sub-culture blossoming in Malone. They are an offshoot of the “Goths”, only these kids call themselves “Vamps”. Now, I’m thinking that this is a direct result of the whole “Twilight” thing. But I’m definitely not in the target demographic of Twilight, so I don’t know for sure. But these “Vamps” have a neat initiation trick – they have to drink the blood of animals. So they’ve been killing farm animals in the area. Last week they slaughtered a poor Llama. Which is horrid. Poor llama. You can get WOOL from llama’s. You can’t go around killing wool producing species. That’s just wrong.

CHATEAUGAY, N.Y. — State police are investigating the shooting deaths of several sheep and a llama at a farm near the Canadian border in northern New York.

Kirby Selkirk, owner of Kirbside Gardens in the Franklin County town of Chateaugay, said at least three sheep were shot early Friday morning, with two killed and a third later euthanized. He said a llama — named Pepe — was also shot and killed.

Selkirk’s wife, Jo Ellen Saumer, said she’s still in shock.

“I’m extremely sad. The llama was a gift from my husband. That was a part of the deal, that if my husband could get sheep, I could get a llama because I always wanted a llama. It’s a member of our family to me that’s missing.”

Police are looking for suspects, but have not determined a motive in the shooting.

Neighbors reported hearing about five gunshots at about 3 a.m. Friday.

Selkirk said it’s possible other sheep were shot, but he won’t know until he finishes checking and counting the roughly 300 animals. The sheep and llama were shot inside a pen where they’re kept at night to protect them from coyotes.

“Many other livestock owners are absolutely horrified this happened and they’ve volunteered to contribute towards a reward,” said Saumier.

Besides the financial loss of losing the animals, Saumier said her llama was a special part of the farm. She hopes a reward will help catch those responsible and help bring justice for Pepe.

“We lost a family member,” she said.

Now, there are only rumors that the animal attacks are related to these “Vamp” kids, but there have been other farm animal attacks in the area and they were being treated as “isolated incidents” until someone got the bright idea that, you know, these killings might all be related.

So, have you ever heard of “Vamps”? Do they have “Vamps” in your area? Do they kill llamas and farm animals?

You know you are getting old when entire segments of the population spring up around you and you have no idea. I was just starting to get used to “Goths” and they come up with a new one.

And have you ever had a shit and run at your house? Because that’s a new one on me, too.