(This is the second of two stories about parties. “How to Host” ran in the Dec. 18 Life section.)

It’s December, which means parties nearly every night of the week. After a while, you have to start weighing which events you want to attend. Which friend always has her annual shindig and which organizations are you supporting this year are both factors to planning your calendar. Being a gracious guest can be as daunting as being a gracious host.

Let us get right to it.

As a guest, you should follow the reservation request as listed on the invitation, and if there is not one, call your host and let them know if you are making time for them or not.

If you cannot attend, be kind and courteous. We all get an invitation with our names misspelled or a little too late to make our books, but we can still take the time to call and let our thoughtful host know we appreciate being thought of, even if we cannot attend.

Do not offer an excuse because no matter how important it sounds to you, it might not sound important to the host. All you need say is you are unavailable and thank him/her for thinking of you. Done.

Now, if you can attend, even if for a brief moment, let your host know that as well.

We all get double booked and all you have to say is you are making time to honor their event but have additional engagements.

Here comes the real test, you can attend for the entire event. Now what? For starters, a great guest follows along with the theme.

If there is a theme, follow it. Dress accordingly; half the fun is following the host’s lead. This might mean a “tacky Christmas sweater” or a black-tie evening. No matter the theme, if you are attending, may as well be a good sport.

Always ask if you can bring something; a good host will decline, but ask anyway. This is different if it is a potluck-style event, in which case, be certain to bring what is asked of you. If it is a “bring your own alcohol” event, think of something easy to share, someone will invariably not get the memo.

Your next task, after confirming your attendance and offering to bring something, is to select a host gift. This tradition has gone out of practice a bit, but it is still appreciated by your hard at work host. Think of the host’s home and color schemes, or the theme of the party. It does not have to be something expensive, just something thoughtful.

When you arrive, hand it to your host quietly; if he or she is busy, set it on the entryway table.

Of course, enjoy the evening and be hospitable. Find a guest who seems ill at ease and start a conversation. Help all of your hosts’ friends feel welcome by being welcoming yourself.

As the night draws to an end, ensure you are not overstaying your welcome. Offer to help clean up and as you mingle, pick up trash and help dispose of it.

The most fabulous of guests will keep spare thank-you notes in their car and write one immediately after the event, even dropping it in the mail box before leaving. The rest of us will write a thank-you note within the week and mail it to our gracious hosts.