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! J I DOHT SEE WHY You ACT SO
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THE JURY'S ACTION
"When you poke a toad," said old
Farmer Hornbeak, philosophically,
you can't tell which way he will
jump, nor how far; an' it is jest about
the same way with the average jury."
"That so "
"Yep, For instance, in the case o
Plunk Jarvis, who has jest been tried
for pullinout his. brother-in-law's
whiskers by the roofs in a fight, the
jury discharged Plunk an fined his
brother-in-law ten cents, the regular
price of a "shave."
The elocution teacher "was in
structing a,, scholar who had insist
ed upon learning a long and rather
vprosy piece. "When you have fin
ished the recitation," said the teach
er, "bow gracefully and leave the
platform on tiptoe." "On tiptoe?"
asked the scholar. "Yes," answered
Xhe teacher, "so as not to wake the
Audience"."
CtWVTtfnWC THEM5EtfS
Cheer up! The calamity howlers
have discovered that you are going
to get all the "benefits" of Ugh pro
tection, after alL They're claiming
that foreign importers are taking ad
vantage of our tariff reductions by
adding on the difference to their sell
ing prices. ,
First thing the high protectionist
knows,, he's going to prove that high
protection laws don't have any effect
on anybody.
If the foreign producer puts jon
prices up to the protection level, he
isn't competing with our home pro
ducer, is he? And we're saving some
of the cost of customs collection,
aren't we?
SLIGHTED
Sandy McTavish was sitting weep-i
ing at his fireside.
"Ed, sandy, mon," said a neighbor,
peeping in at the open window, at
tracted by the sounds of woe, "what's
ailin' ye?"
"Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" sobbed San-'
dy. "Donald McPherson's wife i3
deid."
"Awheel," said the neighbor,
"what o' that? She's no relation o
yours, is she?"
"I know she isn't," wailed Sandy,
"but it jist se'ems as if everybody's
gettin' a change but me."
o o
A JOLT!
A letter brought by the postman
was thinner tnan. tne bulky ones
which a struggling young author
usually received, and he tore it open
eagerly and read: 1
Your recent letter stating that
you enclose manuscript of story,, with
stamps for return if not suitable, has
been received. Your contributioiL is
accepted."
"At length!" exclaimed the young
author, joyfully.
But his heart seemed to sink as
his eyes caught" the following:
P. S. You neglected to enclose
the manuscript."