Dear Whys Guy: "Can He Forgive Me For Going Crazy?"

Q: Once a woman "goes crazy" on a man, can her boyfriend or husband's view of her ever change? Is there ever hope of a reconciliation? By "crazy", I mean when a woman feels insecure in a relationship and gets angry, irrational, or emotionally unstable instead of maturely addressing her feelings with him. So many of my guy friends refer to women they've dated as "crazy". Since every woman has done that at one point or another, is it possible that a man can get past that or is the relationship ruined forever?

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A: Firstly, when dudes say, "She's so crazy!" I always take it with a grain of salt. Sometimes it's true, but usually it's just half of the picture, and you should probably hear the whole story before you jump to any conclusions. For instance:

His story: "My ex-girlfriend was so crazy and insecure! She started screaming at me, threw my stuff out the window of her apartment, and broke my cell phone!"

Whole story: "She started screaming at me when she found out I was texting pictures of my junk to a 17-year-old girl in Taiwan who I met online. I mean, it wasn't like I was cheating on her. I was just flirting with a stranger on the computer... with pictures of my penis... and this girl was totally legal under Taiwanese law!"

Secondly, not every woman gets "crazy" in relationships like you've described. Sure, everyone get angry at their partner, sometimes for totally legit reasons, sometimes for terrible and wrong reasons. However, words like "emotionally unstable", "irrational", and "insecure" are big, red flags in my book. It doesn't really matter if a guy can get over a woman acting "crazy." If your relationship makes you feel so emotionally unstable, irrational, or insecure, then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship (or any relationship, really) until you're confident and secure enough with yourself not to get that kind of "crazy."