Rihanna Tells Diane Sawyer: I'm 'Embarrassed' I Loved Chris Brown

In the first portion of her ABC interview, Rihanna tells Diane Sawyer that she went back to Chris Brown "eight or nine" times following domestic violence incidents, and that she was blinded by love and made the wrong choices. "Don't react off of love. F love," Rihanna emotionally pleads to young girls who may be in her situation. Rihanna also says it was "embarrassing that's the type of person that I fell in love with," referring to Brown. Watch the Emotional Video After the Jump

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

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NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna leaves her Gramercy Park hotel on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

During the portion of the interview, Rihanna says that she had troubles coming out with her side of the story because "there are a lot of women who experienced what I did, but not in public. It made it really difficult. Here it goes, my little bit of privacy was exposed. It's something nobody wants anybody to know. So here I am."

She says she was "embarrassed" by the situation because she "didn't want people to think that's the kind of person... I fell in love with that person," a love "so unconditional that I went back," Rihanna said, adding that it's "humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It's a traumatizing experience." When Sawyer said many women often go back to their abusive boyfriends several times, Rihanna chimes in with her own personal number: "Eight or nine, actually."

There had been reports of previous domestic violence instances between Brown and Rihanna via her police report from that February night, but this is the first time she's acknowledged such a high number.

"I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong ... I'm a human being and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal," Rihanna tells Sawyer. "I'm not perfect. It's pretty natural for that to be the first reaction. It's completely normal to go back and start lying to yourself. The minute the physical wounds go away, you want this thing to go away. This is a memory you don't want to have again."

So what made Rihanna finally see that going back to Brown wasn't the answer? The fact that she has such an influence on the public thanks to her fame.

"When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn't be responsible ... If Chris never hit me again, who's to say that their boyfriend won't ... kill these girls? These are young girls. I just didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls until that happened. It was a wake-up call for me, big time, especially when I took myself out of the situation," Rihanna says emotionally.

She also offers advice to "any girl who is going through domestic violence: Don't react off of love. F love. To come out of the situation and look at it third-person and for what it really is, you then make your decision. Because love is so blinding."

Brown is currently serving five years probation after pleading guilty to felony assault charges stemming from the February 8 attack on Rihanna.

The full Rihanna interview will air on ABC's '20/20' on Friday night. Brown will also be doing an interview of his own, which will air on MTV on Thursday night.

It doesn't matter how many times he's apologized to her... it still doesn't change the situation... he could apologize 10,000 more times, it still wouldn't change anything... what he did was not right...

YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE SAYING OH CHRIS MADE A MISTAKE HE APOLOGIED AND HE'S REALLY SORRY ..HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S REALLY SORRY AND IN CASE YOU HAVENT NOTICED MOST OF THE WOMEN ABUSER SAY SORRY, I DIDNT MEAN IT, I LOVE YOU....AND GUESS WHAT WHEN THEY ARE MADD ONCE AGAIN THEY PLACE A KNOT UPSIDE YOUR HEAD..HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD SHE CONTINE TO ACCEPT HIS APOLOGY..REALLY?AT THE END OF THE DAY IF HE FELT LIKE THE SITUATION WAS GETTING A LITTLE HEATED AND HE WAS GONNA LOSE HIS COOL HE SHOULD HAVE STEPPED AWAY FROM THE SITUATION INSTEAD OF BEATING HER.FOR THE PEOPLE SAYING SHE WAS HITTING ON HIM ...LISTEN SHE WASN'T HITTING HIM LIKE HE WAS PUNCHING HER.FOR RIHIANNA IF THE ABUSE WAS GOING ON FOR THAT LONG SHE SHOULD OF LEFT HIM ALONE ALSO... EVERYONE THATS SAYING CHRIS IS GOOD AND HE APOLOGIED, HE DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT I WONDER HOW YOU GUYS WOULD FEEL IF THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER IN THAT SITUATION WOULD SHE DESERVE IT ALSO BECAUSE SHE WAS SNOOPING THRU HIS STUFF.

I LIKE THEM BOTH AS ARTIST BUT I'M NOT GONNA JUSTIFY FOR HIS WRONG DOINGS

Needs a second chance? Are u kidding me from what I just heard he got several chances from her and still continued to beat her. Don't get me wrong I believe in everybody makes mistakes but you wouldn't say the same thing about a murderer would you??? Some things can not be forgiven, beating a woman until she can't open her eye is one of those things, he could have killed her!! It astonishes me how people rag on miley cyrus for wearing short shorts and dancing on a pole, because children look up to her.. Chris brown beats a woman and everyone is hollering everyone makes mistakes?? Boys look up to him too!! oh and fyi she didn't bash him she just told it like it was, not once did I hear her talk about how he was a bad person, just about how she made a mistake.

It is so funny that now since she has come out with her "story" it is all made to seem like she was this poor helpless victim with this dark sorid past with Chris Brown--since he has told his story several times. I am not condoning what he did because it was wrong but this man came on national television several times and accepted his wrong doings and never said anything to put her down or make excuses for his actions and now she wants to say that she is doing this for her fans...that's a load of bull.

too much unknown about the situation. i don't pay much attention to pop star trivia unless it is a subject that catches my eye, like physical abuse reports, how did they see it...did she reveal it covertly or did a woman pull her aside and say "if you don't do something i will?" all of it is wishy washy, like "rihanna neither confirmed or denied it happened like such and such." And this new talk she is giving, did they tell her to do it to keep it happening to girls, is it all damage control and she really can't stand talking about it anymore or is she doing it on purpose or some combination of both? It could be anyone, I don't care personally about the name or who, but the situation. I know women say "it is confusing time, confusing emotions...so on and so forth" but I don't really know what that means, and I think that young kids might get confused about whether or not to talk about things and will often throw things out casually without knowing the meaning but older teens and adults know that talking about it will make people try to DO something about the situation. To much is unclear to judge, all you see is "she got hit."

pat92853........Let me clearify myself so that you don't have the opportunity to twist my words. What I was implying that when you snoop, you normally will find things to make you angry. When you snoop get angry and then start hitting on a man then you are looking for trouble. She got just what she was looking for.

If you were beaten like that and then your brother said, hey you asked for it because you read his text message, and the your entire neighborhood said that same thing, how would you feel? Your face is still swollen, your lip is still busted, and your image is all over Facebook and Myspace, and while your face is still swollen and your ribs are sore and the teeth marks still are visible and everyone felt that you got what you ASKED for... would you think they were right? You were driving around with your boyfriend while he looked for a location where he could beat you until you had a mouth full of blood. A residential neighborhood that neither of you were familiar with so he could find a place to pull over and beat you down. Then he left you there - scared, hurt and totally abandoned where anyone could have walked up on you and done whatever to you. And then everyone told you that you deserved that for reading a text on a cell phone? Well, if it were me and I was reading my boyfriends text messages, I would prefer that he told me that he could no longer date me because I don't know how to mind my business. And with that, we just part ways. Not beat me for something so stupid and then expect me to say, "It's okay. I ASKED for it. I should be apologizing to you." Chris Brown, God forgive him, just got really upset because he got busted for cheating. He didn't respond in a healthy way. He WAAAAAY overreacted. That much anger and violence can't be ignored. And it was a lesson that Rihanna shared. She called it embarrassing. I could imagine that it would be embarrassing that everyone who looked at me and my boyfriend as this loving couple now knows that things were violent and the man who said he loves me could actually beat me like that. With every kick, bite and punch, he acted like she was some guy on the street that tried to rob him. It would bother me to look at anyone I love and see them with those wounds. How could I be the one to inflict them?

I agree! Telling all women to run is not enough, then we'll just have a bunch of women running from men...we should focus on fixing what causes the problem, and preventing it, not just the safest reaction to it. We need to talk to men, get their perspectives, and I know it sounds bazaar to some of you but try to understand the men who do this, not just with a corny, general, unrealistic list of signs. And I say understand, not to accept it, but to try to prevent it from another direction, something more than telling your 5 yr old "boys can't hit girls"

Where did women get this crazy notion that they can just hit on men anywhere on their bodies and men should not hit them back. Where did that crazy fantasy come from anyway. Probably some standard that another woman made for men.

You can always tell a low life woman. She will be snooping behind your back. It's best to walk away from this type of woman and I don't care how pretty she looks. Beautiful is only skin deep but ugly is to the bone.

I totally agree with you! If we are going to talk about all the times Chris hit her, I certainly want to hear about all the times she hit him. I have a daughter & 4 sons. If you don't want to be hit, then don't hit.....

How about man or women dont put your hands on someone. She is just as responsible as he is because she hit him multiple times also. A lot of men stay with an abusive women because they think that well I'm a man I should be able to take it untill that one day when the man finally snaps and all of this happens. Men should not have to put their hands on a women. But if a women strikes a man trying to inflict physical pain on the man she should expect physical pain in return. Remember this is soon to be 2010 equal rights for everyone and no double standards.

I totally agree Mike. I see how agressive these girls are and Rihanna is just another one. You treat people the way you want to be treated. She put her hands on Chris, she had to know that eventually, he was going to fight back.... Should men abuse women, absolutely not! But, she should be held accountable just as he was / is being.

Men, if you are doing everything right by awoman and your woman snoops on you, she can not be trusted. She will be hitting you next as in this case. Get rid of the deadbeat, there are plenty of women looking for good men. And if you are treating your woman right and she hits you, don't take it. You can get injured.