The way I understand it, ‘token’ refers to something that isn’t there on merit but because of a feeling in society that a particular group should be represented, even in the absence of a qualified candidate.

What an improvement on a few years ago, when it would have been quite feasible to programme a stand-up show for British TV without feeling obliged to book someone German.

Speaking of Germans in the UK, the Queen (yes, this joke is more tired than its protagonist) got a vomiting bug off an Olympian at a meet and greet. Now we know the Olympic legacy: a closed down sports stadium in Sheffield and an incontinent head of state.

She even had to go to hospital. For only the fifth time in her long life, which is probably as much as the medical service can cope with seeing that every time the Queen phones up a hospital a nurse kills herself.

Fortunately for the NHS, Justin Bieber has left the country never to return.

It wasn’t even him needing medical attention that was the problem. It was the lasting harm he caused a generation of British children by being anything up to 30 minutes late for one of his concerts.

According to the Evening Standard one father said: ‘I don’t think a refund would compensate the emotional damage he has done to my children.

Quite.

To be fair, you’re asking for trouble if you let your happiness being controlled by the timekeeping of a 19-year-old geezerbird.

So, that’s me done for the day. I shall be listening out for updates from the Vatican conclave hoping that Christoph Schönborn wins Pope before Schalke overcomes Galatasary this evening, making it a German one-two.

Do I believe this will happen? Well, is the Pope Catholic and does the Queen shit in the woods?

Have a great month

Henning

Please find below a list of upcoming gigs. It would be great to see you at one of those. Please have a look as new dates are constantly added. Tickets for all shows available below

March 2018

5 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
6 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
21 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
22 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

April 2018

09 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
10 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
13 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
14 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
18 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
20 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
21 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
30 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress

May 2018

1 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
2 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
7 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
8 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
11 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT- Work In Progress
13 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work in Progress
14 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
17 – DARTMOUTH – The Flavel – TICKETS – Work In Progress
18 – FALMOUTH – The Poly – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – PENZANCE – The Acorn – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
30 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
31 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT