My store was having an “up to 50% off everything” promotion for Labor Day weekend, and for some reason, holidays bring out the best of us.

We had a lady come in looking for normal clothing items. No big deal. We all help her find the size she wants.

Like most (if not all) retail stores, we have a store credit card, and offer 20% off your first purchase, and 30% off when you receive your card. This lady opened one the day before, during the sale.

She talks to one of the managers, asking if she can get the 20% off discount today because she’s finding things she couldn’t find yesterday. Manager says no.

She then goes to talk to another manager - the store manager. Asks the same question. Answer is still no.

She finally finds me again and asks the same question. But the time she gets to me, all the other managers have talked to her. In a final attempt to get this discount, she talks to me, asking “are you the decision maker, or is SM?” SM is basically right behind her, and tells her no at the same time I do.

This morning, I hear that she was also asking the associate who was ringing her if she would apply the discount. Associate also said no.

This woman was literally the first customer I interacted with today. She set the tone for my shift. I'm M, W will be the woman.

We have a sign next to long sleeve t-shirts stating they're 30% off, the sign clearly states the long sleeves are the ones for sale. Near the stand is another rack of similar shirts, the difference is that they're short sleeve.

W: "What's the price of this if it's 30 percent off?"

M: I find the rack, it's not on sale, I tell her this and the full price

W: "It's 30 percent off."

M: "The long sleeves are 30 percent off." I point out the sign

W: Grabs the same shirt but different size "Well then how much is this one if I got it in large?"

M: "Only the long sleeves are 30% off."

W: Grabs the same shirt again only it's a different color "Is this 30 percent off?"

Most days I have a very high threshold for the amount of whatthefuckery that happens in retail. It takes a lot to push me into turning into a sarcastic, rude, Randall Graves clone, even though it’s sometimes incredibly warranted.

That said, this lady tested every ounce of my patience and made me yearn for a bottle of wine. Not just to drink, but also to hopefully bash some sense into her with.

I work in a women's clothing store. (Side note: this means WOMEN’S, not juniors, not children’s, not plus size, though we do have a plus size section. So, please stop bringing me your 10 year olds to dress. And please believe me when I tell you little Suzy isn’t going to fit into anything, and no, not even the XS’s. Because she’s 10. And hasn’t got a woman’s body yet.)

We currently are trying to clear out our clearance wall. Things are $4.95-$19.95, which I agree is a pretty amazing deal.

That didn’t stop her from asking, I kid you not, every minute “ARE THESE PANTS LITERALLY $9.95?”

“Yes they are! All bottoms are $9.95!”

“But, these are literally $9.95?”

“Yes, just as the sign right there says.”

“So, these are LITERALLY $9.95?”

“They sure are!”

“I can’t believe... THESE JEANS ARE LITERALLY ONLY $9.95?!”

“... Yes. I’m not sure how to reassure you that, yes, all our pants are indeed $9.95.”

I show her the sign, explain the deal, AGAIN, and even take my hand down the row of pants explaining, calmly, that all clearance bottoms are $9.95.

She looks at me, jeans clutched in her hand...

“Are these literally $9.95?!”

“Yup!”

And at that point I walk away and grab the associate and tell her I’ll be in the back for a minute because I need to silently scream into the latest ugly sweater we’ve been sent so I don’t LITERALLY punch someone.