The
day was cold, but clear and sunny. The drive was actually very
pleasant. I did marvel at the fact Mr. Manning lived twenty
miles
from where he taught. I guessed R. E. Lee was about the same
distance
for from his home as Fort Defiance. I’m sure there were times
when
the weather made getting out impossible, but I alsonever remembered him missing a
class.

According
to the GPS, we were seven miles from his house when the paved
road
ended and a gravel road began. A mile from his house, the road
ended
in a turning circle. The GPS indicated a turn down a very
narrow
gravel lane, well cared for in spite of being narrow and
winding, but
definitely not state maintained.

I
had tried to call shortly after we left the school, but got
only a
recorded message, in a voice I did not know, ‘If we don’t
answer,
we are probably outside, Manning slitting wood and me, Stu,
chasing
some poor hapless animal for dinner. If you’d like to see one
of
us, come on up and make yourself at home. We’ll be back sooner
or
later.’ I had decided to take Stu, whoever he was, up on his
offer.

The
lane ended in front of a large A-frame house set against a
hill. I
suspected the main floor was at near ground level in the back,
but at
the front it was twelve or more feet above the front yard. A
deck
extended out from the second level overlooking the trail we
had
driven in on. Levi parked and we walked up a flight of stairs
on the
side of the house.

Reaching
the main level, we discovered the deck extended around the
side of
the house to the back. I could hear someone chopping wood out
back
and headed in that direction. When we rounded the corner of
the
house, a step lead led to ground level where Mr. Manning, his
back to
us, was splitting wood. Even though it was cold, his shirt was
tucked
in to his back pocket. I’d never thought of Mr. Manning being
built, but his bare back rippled with muscles as he raised and
lowered the ax. I didn’t want to startle him; he was, after
all,
swinging an ax! I stood quietly, Levi slightly behind me, his
hand on
my shoulder. When Mr. Manning tossed the splits onto a pile in
front
of him and reached for another block, I called softly, “Mr.
Manning.”

He
turned slowly and then practically shouted, “Derek! Derek,
man,
it’s good to see you. Brad told me you had to stay in Norfolk.
He
and Sam were really sad about that, but here you are. Come on
in.
It’s past time I quit playing woodchuck,” he laughed. I
laughed
with him, but noticed Levi looked puzzled. “Come on inside.
I’ll
be freezing if I stand out here long.”

The
back door opened onto to a very modern, compact kitchen which
showed
evidence of being used. Mr. Manning led us into the living
area as he
pulled on his shirt. The room was furnished in the expected
style,
but clearly it had been done by someone who knew what they
were doing
and knew Mr. Manning, and I guess Stu. The room said a lot
about who
the two of them were as I looked around.

As
soon as we reached the living room, I said, “Mr. Manning, this
is
Levi Epstein, a fellow diver, friend, now housemate and city
boy.
Levi, Mr. Manning, my English teacher and a good shoulder to
cry on
when I needed it as I told you. Mr. Manning, Levi quite
obviously
doesn’t know the question ‘How much wood could a woodchuck
chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.’”

“It’s
an old speech exercise, Levi and welcome. You have to be a
good man
if Derek calls you a friend. So what are you two guys up
to?”

“Mr.
Manning. . . . ”

“Derek,
you’re
not in high school anymore and while I am several years
older than you are, I think we can drop the ‘mister’ bit. My
friends call me Manning.”

“Not
going to be easy to remember (and even harder to say),” I
said and
smiled at his recognition of my growing up. “Manning, I
needed to
talk with someone and you came to mind. My dads are as
involved as I
am and talking to them wouldn’t accomplish a great deal. So
do you
have a minute?”

“As
long as you like. You and Levi may have to join me in the
kitchen
while I prepare lunch later, but that’s all I have to do.
Lunch
needs to be done at 12:00 as Stu will be home for lunch.”

“Is
he really out hunting?” Levi asked.

“Yes
and no,” Manning said. “Yes, he’s out hunting, but no, not
to
kill our dinner. Stuart is a hunter and we always have a
supply of
venison, rabbit, dove and occasionally wild turkey, but
today he’s
out hunting a bear which is causing a lot of damage around
Palo Alto.
He works for the state fish and game division of the
wildlife
department. Stay for lunch and you’ll meet him. So, you
needed to
talk. Levi know about this?”

“Very
much so,” I said. “Well, it started last night. As you know,
Brad, Sam and I are all gay. . . . ”

“Whoa,
hold
up a minute, Derek, you’re gay?”

“Shit!
Yes,
I am, but I didn’t mean to out myself anywhere near
Stanton.”

“I
should hope not,” Manning said. “So you’re gay. The thought
never crossed my mind. Well, when you and Jeremy became so
tight I
did wonder, but I heard enough scuttlebutt around school to
know if
Jeremy were gay, he’d certainly convinced the young ladies
otherwise, and very persuasively, I heard.”

I
laughed. “Know what you mean. We double dated some. Never any
doubt
in my mind Jeremy was straight! Not to say I didn't wish he
was gay.
I was in love with the guy.”

“Was?”

“Was.
Of course, I suspect your first love is always a part of
your life.”

“Yeah.
So
you are gay. You the boyfriend, Levi?”

“No,
we are just very, very close friends and housemates. I
suspect we
both hope we fall in love, but who knows what the future
holds?”

“Damn,
I
hope you will forgive me, Levi. That was not a proper
question and
assuming you were gay was really beyond the pale. But,
Derek, I’m
sorry, I got us off track. So now I know that you, like your
dads,
are gay and have been in love with Jeremy. Did he know?”

“He
did. I sometimes think he almost wished he was gay as much
as I did,
but we are just the best of best friends. I really miss
having him
around. I understand he’s bringing a woman home with him.
His dad
doesn’t think it’s serious, but knowing Jeremy, it’s
certainly
very close to serious if he’s bringing her to Stanton.”

“I’m
off track again, Derek. What’s the problem--well, aside from
the
ones that are automatic when you are gay in Stanton.”

So,
I told him about DeAngelo’s remark and what it had triggered,
about
how his being an unfeeling slut had torn me apart and how I
wasn’t
coping very well.

“Derek,
what
you are experiencing goes by many names, none of which
changes
the dynamic. It’s what happens when a child discovers there
is no
Santa Clause or when you discover you parents lie. It’s
discovering
that someone is not what you perceived him--or her--to be.
Sometimes
it’s called one thing at other times something else: crisis
of
faith, betrayal of trust, identity crisis, disillusionment.
You get
the idea.”

“Damn!”
Levi
exclaimed. “The emotional dynamic is like when I found
Edward,
legs in the air, being fucked while a line of men waited a
turn at
his ass.”

“What?”

Levi
told Manning of his relationship with Edward and how it ended.

“Pretty
dramatic
example of the dynamic, Levi, but spot on. Derek, DeAngelo
has, not just by place of birth, been your big brother. He
has
protected you, led you and you have near worshiped him. I
remember
wondering what would happen when you were separated when he
stayed at
R. E. Lee and you transferred to Fort Defiance.”

“It
was tough,” I said. “Not only were we suddenly in two
difference
schools, but we had always slept in the same room. We ran
together,
biked together, did everything together. I was his shadow.
Suddenly
we were in two different schools and had our own rooms. Even
at the
Center we were separated with me spending most of my time in
the pool
while he was doing fitness and janitorial stuff.”

“You
had a year at Fort Defiance before I showed up there and
when I
arrived, I found a very different Derek than I had known at
R. E.
Lee. You were more confident, beginning to be less a
follower and
more of a leader. You were developing into Derek and not a
shadow
DeAngelo.” Levi grinned at me, an I-told-you-so grin.
“Meanwhile,
DeAngelo was changing as well. Who knows how he would have
developed
had he been surrounded with different people, but he wasn’t.
He was
a jock and jocks have to work hard proving they are macho.
Strange,
since they are the stereotype of macho, but I guess you have
to work
hard to create and maintain the macho facade when you decide
to be a
stereotype.

“Given
the
number of men on the basketball and baseball teams,
statistics
would suggest there is at least a gay man or two among them.
I
suspect at least one of them is the ringleader in verbal
gay-bashing.
‘Gotta protect the image of manhood you know.’ So both you
and
DeAngelo have changed and the way he has changed condemns
the person
you are and the person whom you accept and find good while
the person
you find him to be is repulsive to you, and rightly so, if I
may be
permitted a judgmental statement. Too long a speech,
Manning.”

“Not
for me,” Levi said, “I kinda figured the whole crisis thing
when
I discovered Edward was not ‘who I thought and perceived him
to
be’, but I didn’t make the connection with Derek and
DeAngelo. I
guess I was so angry at Edward, but not for his being a
slut. Been
there, done that . No, I was angry because he thought so
little of
his sex partners that he was risking passing a death
sentence on
them.”

“Where
does
that leave me?” I asked. “I am sure Dad Sam is as angry as
Dad Brad was and had Sam not restrained him, I think Brad
might have
done physical damage to DeAngelo. I was also angry.”

“A
bit of an understatement,” Levi said softly.

“So
do I just say, ‘Fine, DeAngelo, I understand you have an
image to
keep up, so gay jokes, multiple sex partners and unprotected
sex are
okay because they are important to that image?' That I find
hard, if
not impossible to swallow.”

“I
think you and your dads have made it very clear that you do
not
approve or accept his standard of behavior,” Manning
responded.

“I
assure you that has been made very, very clear,” Levi
grinned.

“He
has been told why it is not acceptable and will be suffering
some
consequences resulting from it. Maybe as little as a sore
butt from a
massive dose of antibiotics, maybe a slow death, but neither
he nor
you can undo the past. The future? You have done all you
can. Just as
DeAngelo cannot make you a gay slut, you cannot make him a
responsible straight man. The decisions are the individual’s
to
make and truly, no one can make them for him. Derek, you
came to talk
and ended up listening. Sorry.”

“No
need for an apology, Manning. I came to get my thinking
straightened
out, expecting to have to do a lot of talking, but ended up
listening
and thinking. I got what I expected I would get from time
with you.
Thanks.”

“So,
Derek, tell me about life at OCU, and feel free to join in
Levi,”
Mr. Manning said. For the next half an hour Levi and I
talked about
our experiences. I told him about the lit class and he was
pleased
that what I had learned in high school put me a step ahead
of many in
the class. Levi told him about the comp class I would be
taking next
semester and I felt that I was well prepared for it as well.
Finally,
Manning called a halt and said, “Time I got on with
preparing
lunch. Hope you guys like venison. I’ve marinated it all
yesterday
and started it roasting earlier. It’ll not be as gamey as
most, but
will still have some of that. If you don’t like it, I’ll fix
you
a sandwich.”

“I’m
always ready to try something new,” Levi said.

“Well,
I’m
not so sure about eating Bambi,” I chuckled.

“Not
Bambi,” Mr. Manning said with a grin, “it’s his baby
brother.”

“In
that case, count me in.”

Levi
and I got the table set and Levi made a salad while Mr.
Manning
finished lunch preparation. We were just finishing when a man
built
like a Mack truck walked in with his eyes on Manning and said,
“Hi,
Babe,” as he continued walking toward Mr. Manning, then
stopped
short and blushed. The man would have been a natural to play
Paul
Bunyan, the legendary lumberjack of North American logging
camps, so
the blush really looked out of place.

Mr.
Manning started laughing uproariously and said, “You almost
slipped
up didn’t you, Stu.” He met Stu, wrapped his arms around him
and
kissed him. “Derek, Levi, my man, Stuart Hangar. Stu, Derek
Wilson
is a former student and his friend Levi Epstein is his
housemate and
they are dive team members at OCU. They are gay, so you can be
at
ease.”

“Boyfriends?”
Stuart
asked and for the umpteenth time, we explained we were not,
but not ruling that out for the future. “Well, don’t jump
into
something too quickly. I did and almost missed out on the
love of my
life as a result.”

“How
long have you two been together?” Levi asked.

“I
say eleven and a half years and Stu says eleven,” Mr.
Manning said.
“See, we were housemates with three other guys beginning our
junior
year in college. I fell in love with Stu practically from
the moment
I laid eyes on him and we spent all our time together when
we were
not in class. I count that as being together.”

“I
don’t because, I slipped into something and lied to myself
about
how I felt about Manning for six months.

“My
senior year in high school, I finally admitted to myself I
was gay
and told my best friend. He told me he also was gay, and so,
almost
by rote, we became a couple. I mean that’s the way it
happens in
all the stories when two best friends admit to each other
than they
are gay, right?

“He
was ordained from birth to go to Mr. Jefferson’s University,
UVA,
and I was headed for Virginia Poly to do Forestry and
Wildlife
Management. It was a three-hour trip between the two and
both of us
were very busy and carrying heavy loads, so biweekly visits
became
monthly visits and so on until we only saw each other on
holidays.
Nonetheless, we both stayed glued to the idea that we were a
couple
and we were, therefore, in love. Note I said we were in love
because
we were a couple and not the other way around.

“At
the end of my sophomore year at VPI, three of us who hung
out
together met two guys from Radford University who were, as
we,
outdoors types. We did a lot of hiking and camping. One
Sunday
afternoon, a couple weeks before we finished the year, we
were
cross-country hiking and came across a huge old house on a
back road
about midway between Radford and Blacksburg. There was a
weathered
real estate agent’s sign in front and on a lark, I called
the
number. The place had been for sale for five years and
wasn’t
likely to sell anytime soon, the agent said. When I asked
about
renting the house, he said, ‘Well, would be some income for
the
owner, maybe pay the taxes. I’ll get back to you.’ He called
the
next day and said if we were really interested, he’d show us
the
house and give us some options. When we looked over the
house we
found the inside needed cleaning, but the furnishings were
fine, just
neglected. The long and the short of it was, we rented the
house for
what three of us were paying for our dorm space. We said
we’d do
the cleaning, keep the grounds looking neat and paint the
outside of
the house over the summer for a rent-free summer. The owner
was happy
to accept.

“We
camped out the first week after the spring semester while we
cleaned
the house and furnishings, got the grounds in order and made
a list
of what we needed to bring from home, then all took off for
home.

“Justin,
my
boyfriend, was leaving for Charlottesville three days after
I got
home. We had a couple of mediocre sex sessions. We were not
very good
at it and I think, in looking back, had anal sex because we
thought
we were supposed to. I saw him off and we said we’d see each
other
at the beginning of the summer and planned a camping trip.

“A
week later the three of us were back at Swan’s Pond, the
name of
the place we had rented. We made an inventory of what we had
brought
from home and made a list of what we needed to buy, worked
on the
grounds and were ready to spend the summer working on
various
projects, summer school or jobs as well as painting the
house. When
the final two arrived, they were well-loaded with beer,
brats and the
trimmings. We soon had the sausages cooking in beer, getting
them
ready for the grill, and we were wasting no time between
beers. When
we had eaten, we got down to some serious beer drinking and,
of
course, the subject turned to sex.

The
other two guys from VPI were from Lynchburg and would have
gone to
Freedom had they been able to get the courses they wanted.
They
usually avoided the beer and all talk of sex. For some reason,
that
night they were leading the way in downing the brews. Finally,
one of
them, Lewis, said, ‘You know, my girlfriend Geraldine and I
had
been saving it for marriage, but while I was home, we kinda
got going
too good to stop. Once we started, we had sex two, three times
a day
while I was home. Man, was it great!!’

“‘You
can thank Jo, my girl for that,’ Harold, the other Lynchburg
guy,
said. ‘We decided we were married in the eyes of God a year
ago and
saw no reason why we couldn’t have sex like any married
couple. Jo
talked to Geraldine about being married in the eyes of God,
she saw
nothing wrong with that, so now you are having sex. We have
been
having sex for a year, so once a day is generally enough for
us, but
it gets better and better.

“‘You
guys are lucky then,’ I said. ‘I had sex a couple times with
my
boyfriend and I don’t think it would rank even passable.’

“’You’re
queer?
You’re a hell-bound faggot!’ Lewis shouted.

“’I’m
not going to live in the house with a queer,’ Harold
shouted. ‘I’m
leaving.’

“’You
can wait for me,” Lewis said.

“‘I’ll
be
back for my things in the morning,’ Harold said and Lewis
agreed. They staggered out the door. I guess they headed
back to
Blacksburg and were picked up just as they entered the edge
of the
campus. Fortunately, they were stopped by the campus police
who had
them get out of the car and told them to find a place to
sleep it
off.

“We
three remaining housemates went to bed, slept late the next
morning
and had breakfast at noon. Nothing was said about the
previous
night’s incident until we had finished breakfast and cleaned
up.
That accomplished, I asked, ‘So what do we do? We’re down to
three housemates instead of five to pay the rent and do the
work.’

“‘Rent
should
be no problem,’ Keith, one of the Radford students, said,
“We’ll be paying the same as we paid in the dorm. The work,
especially painting this old house is another matter.’

“’We’ll
manage,’
Daniel said, ‘but we may as well post a ‘housemate
wanted’ notice at VPI and Radford. Not likely anyone will be
interested since it’s summer and the campuses are more than
half
empty.’ But the notices got posted. People at VPI were to
contact
me and those at Radford, Daniel.

“I
was posting the notice on a board at VPI when this short
redhead
asked, with a definite burr in his speech, ‘Yea wouldn’t be
looking for a roommate now would yea?’

“‘Not
a roommate, but a housemate.’

“‘Beyond
me
purse, I’m sure,’ he said and started to walk away.

“‘It
will cost a bit less than a dorm room and it’s a lot nicer,
but of
course there’s work involved. Buy you a coke if you want to
talk
about it,’ I told him. We went to the student union and I
laid out
the whole package. He was ready to sign on the dotted line
when I
said, ‘There is one other catch. One of us is gay.’

“‘So,
one of us is not. What’s the problem?’ was his response. So
it
was that Jarlath--we called him Lath--became the fourth
member of the
Swan’s Pond crew.”

Manning
had been waiting patiently for Stu to come to a break and when
he
paused for breath said, “Stu, maybe you can finish your true
romance tale after lunch. It’s ready.”

The
food was great, the venison the best I had ever eaten, by far.

Levi
and I cleared the table while Mr. Manning made coffee and
brought it
and a plate of cookies to the table. “So what happened next?”
Levi asked as soon as we were seated.

Contact: You
can
contact Sequoyah at sequoyahs.place@gmail.com.

Map: I
keep a map with pins marking where readers live. I would
appreciate
an email from you so you can be pinned.