“One customer was having difficulty losing weight, so I told him to make vegetables the main component of his meals. He said he loved them, so it wouldn’t be a problem. After two months his weight had hardly changed, so I asked what veg he was filling his plate with. ‘Coleslaw,’ he replied. Well, it does contain carrots.” Elliot, 25

“I was training an elderly client in her garden, when she complained foxes kept defecating on her grass. Then she said, ‘I heard men’s urine deters them.’ Normally, I’d have laughed it off, but she’s in her sixties and lives alone. I had to help. Which is how, 30 minutes and two pints of water later, I found myself peeing all over her garden. Not a typical Monday morning at work.” Matt, 35

“I was in the weights area with a client I fancied and had been flirting with for months. Keen to impress this hot guy, I loaded the bar with weights. I lowered myself into a squat, held for a few counts, then realised with embarrassment that I couldn’t get up. I had to ask him to take the bar. Serves me right for shamelessly showing off.” Pola, 35

“During a tough circuit class I was leading, someone projectile-vomited across the gym floor. Everyone gasped, apocalyptic-chaos ensued and the room cleared quicker than you can say ‘I’ve lost the deposit on this gym space I’m renting.’ Luckily, I didn’t lose my deposit – but I did lose a client. I mean, would you go back?!” Francis, 24

“I once advised a new client to cut down on the weekly pints. That was before I realised we shared the same local pub. Truth is, I normally order a pint of lager. Now I have to watch out for him – if he’s there, I’ll drink vodka soda. Maybe it’s time to come clean – or get a new local.” Luke, 28

“I was leading a HIIT class and started demonstrating bunny hops for the class to copy. For a laugh, I started to mimic rabbit ears by my head, waving my fingers up and down. The class followed without question! It was a good 30 seconds before someone queried what they were doing.” Rob, 31

“I bumped into an old client while I was queuing at a pharmacy. She was holding a bottle of lube, which she quickly tried to hide with her sleeve when she saw me. I pretended I hadn’t seen it, chatting to her about both our cats and not daring to look down again until she was served.” Naomi, 26*

“Squatting during a gruelling session with a training partner, I let out the most toe-curlingly embarrassing fart. So loud, in fact, that I couldn’t blame my trainers. We both looked into the mirror, made eye contact, then swiftly carried on. It was never mentioned again.” Connor, 25

“A client was suffering with chronic back pain, so I suggested he buy an inversion table (to which you strap your feet and it turns you upside-down) to stretch his muscles before our workouts. When the equipment arrived, he was so keen that he didn’t wait for me to help set it up like I’d promised, hopped on it naked and got stuck upside-down. He was an hour late for our session and did not see the funny side.” Kate, 37*

This article was first published in the June 2017 issue of Glamour magazine