In case you were too busy stuffing your own face this weekend on the Fourth of July, you might have missed American professional eater, Joey Chestnut, claim his third consecutive hot dog eating championship. The hot dog eating competition is considered the Super Bowl of professional eating, which is held each year on the Fourth of July at Coney Island. Chestnut once again outlasted national superstar Kobayashi and set a new world record by eating 68 hot dogs in a span of 10 minutes. Now I don't know about you, but that sounds not only absolutely obsurd but it sounds like something that a human being should not be able to accomplish. After about five hot dogs, you can point me to the nearest corner with a big garbage bag and I'll see you in about half an hour. So when I hear 68 hot dogs, it makes me want to sit on the john and read the dictionary from cover to cover.

What is the most amazing thing to me is what I heard Mr. Chestnut say in an interview after he was asked what he does when the competition is over. His calmly responded by saying he signs autographs for a few hours and then goes to sleep. Sleep?!?! What happened to running toward a bathroom and puking all that stuff out. Either he is not human, has an abnormal digestive system, or he is taking some amazying meds to help him deal with that pain. Which got me to thinking...How is Joey Chestnut not doing commercials for Pepto Bismol. Could there be a more perfect partnership than those two. Just take a look at how the bottle would look.

Just look at the pain on that man's face. There is no need for words. And if I saw a man endorsing Pepto Bismol that can take a nap after eating 68 hot dogs without pain, then I know that the pink elixor can cure any problems that I am going to have...no matter how much I eat. The company could even get Joey to do that little song and dance that they have random people doing on commercials. I am no genius, but this just seems to easy to me.