Are You Hurt? #iForgive

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As-salaamu alaykum my beloved brothers and respected sisters,

Every letter in this article is written from the bottom of my heart and I ask Allah to have it reach your heart. I also ask Allah to accept the time spent writing this article and the time you would spend reading it.

When someone hurts you and oppresses you there are several permissible ways where you can react to that oppression:

– You can go to Allah with your weakness and raise your hands to Him and make a du'a, a supplication, against the one who has oppressed you; and the Prophet confirmed in numerous authentic ahadith that the du'a of the one who is oppressed would surely be accepted without any doubt.

– You can also just wait until the day of judgment and seek to get the good deeds, equivalent to the amount of oppression and pain that person did to you, as means of revenge and taking your right back. And in case the one who oppressed has no good deeds to give you then you would give THEM your bad deeds as the Prophet also stated in an authentic hadith.

But there is another option, which is the point of this whole article, that is better than all what has been mentioned but only a few people pursue it. I ask Allah to make me and you amongst the few. What is that option? It is for you to forgive the one who hurt you and oppressed you. So you don't make a du'a'a against them and you don't take from their good deeds on the day of Judgment. But what's the point then? You will get more than seeing that person being harmed just like how you were harmed and more than the good deeds you could've taken…

Rather you will be getting a reward, from who and how much? From Allah… He didn't put a limit to it. Allah said in Chapter 42 Verse 40:

And the retribution, the payback, of an evil act is an evil one like it,

But whoever forgives, overlooks and reconcile [OK, what will happen then?]

Then their reward is on Allah.

It is so amazing how Allah puts these words together. When a king in this world tells you: “I have a gift, a reward, for you”, then you would imagine that that gift and reward is equivalent to the wealth, power, majesty and capability of that king. If this is the case with a king in this world then what about the king of all kings, Allah…?

If you would allow me, my beloved brother and sister, to stress on the point of forgiving those who wrong you, and please don't rush and say: “speak as long as you want brother Majed, I will not forgive that person who wronged me and oppressed me”. Rather, please give Allah and the Prophet of Allah a chance through the verses and ahadith you would hear. By Allah, that is for your own sake. I want to stress on the concept of forgiving those who wronged you by doing 2 things:

Number 1: by destroying and exposing the real value of this low and cheap dunya that we are living in

Number 2: by showing you how amazing, honorable and beautiful is the reward of Allah in this dunya and in the akhirah for those who forgive.

Number 1:

Are you perhaps ready for a life changing experience?

Bismillah, let's look at the reality of this dunya: In an authentic hadith, in Saheeh Muslim, the Prophet of Allah once grabbed a dead one-eared goat from the ear that remained. [Try to picture it ] And he asked his friends while holding the dead goat: “Who would buy this for 1 dirham” [such a low price for something the people would pay tens of dirhams for but the Prophet offered it for 1]. The companions said: “We don't like to have it even if it was for nothing. What is the benefit of it?” The Prophet then asked: “Would you like to have it for free?” They replied: “By Allah, if it was alive we wouldn't take it for the way it looks with the chopped ear and so on then what about if it was dead.” The Prophet then said: “فَوَاللَّهِ، لَلدُّنْيَا أَهْوَنُ عَلَى اللهِ مَنْ هَذَا عَلَيْكُمْ‏.‏” [I swear by Allah, this dunya is of a lesser value in the sight of Allah than this, dead disgusting one-eared goat, is to you.]

Allahu akbar! What is it in this lowly and cheap dunya that is worth cutting our ties of brotherhood and sisterhood.

Number 2:

On the other hand, know that of the fastest and easiest ways to gain the forgiveness of Allah, don't we say so desperately: “اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي” [O Allah you are forgiving and you love to forgive so please forgive me], do you want to maximize your chances of having Allah to forgive you!? Then your best and easiest of chances is to forgive the one who has wronged you. The Prophet said in an authentic hadith, in Saheeh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad: “اغْفِرُوا يَغْفِرِ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ” [forgive and Allah will forgive you]. Allahu akbar!

I feel comfortable ending the article right here and it may be convincing enough to forgive someone after having such a guarantee from the Prophet that your forgiveness to the one who wronged you will actually be means for YOU to be forgiven by Allah. But let's get even more motivated with statements from Allah and His prophet motivate us more! Bismillah!

Listen to this, after Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq stopped giving his relative, MesTah bin A-thaathah, a monthly allowance because MesTah contributed to the accusation of Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr, that she committed a major sin with another man, in which Allah has already shown her innocence in surat An-Noor, Allah revealed a verse addressing Abu Bakr and he said in Chapter 24 Verse 22:

Let not those whom Allah blessed them with wealth to withhold it from their relatives, the needy and those who immigrated for the sake of Allah.

ALLAHU AKBAR! WHAT!? Forgive and reconcile the one who accused my honor and the chastity of my own daughter!!! Then Allah continues and says, here he is addressing ALL of us!

“ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ ۗوَاللَّـهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ ” [don't you love for Allah to forgive you… And [note] Allah is The Most Forgiving The Most Merciful].

Upon hearing this, RIGHT AWAY, Abu Bakr said: “بلى واللهِ إني لأحبُّ أن يغفرَ اللهُ لي” [Yes, wAllahi! I love for Allah to forgive me. And he also said: I will never stop giving the monthly allowance back to him.]

Allahu akbar, what a man! May Allah be pleased with him. I ask Allah to grant you my beloved brothers and sisters who is reading such a strong iman and such eagerness to care about Allah's forgiveness to you. Ameen.

Another reward and honor from Allah to those who forgive, Allah basically tells them: “I love you”…. And if Allah loves you then what else in the world matters… Allah says: “وَٱلۡعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُحۡسِنِينَ” [And those who forgive the people. And Allah loves the muhseneen].

Allahu akbar! He considered you among the elite, the muhsineen, and he said that He loves them. I ask Allah to make you, my beloved reader, among those whom Allah loves.

In an authentic hadith in Saheeh Bukhari, the Prophet once had poisoned brought to him by a Jewish lady. When the Prophet knew the meat was poisoned the lady was brought forth and the companions asked the prophet : “Shall we not kill her?” [What do you think the Prophet said? What would his reaction be towards a person who was about to poison him, basically, an assassination attempt!] The Prophet replied with one word and said: “No.”

Allahu akbar! She tried to kill him but he chose to overlook what she did.

In Conclusion:

To sum my message in one sentence:

There is nothing, in this cheap and lowly dunya that is worth forsaking the forgiveness, reward and love of Allah, nothing.

I begin with myself, as of tonight, Allah and you are my witness that I have forgiven anyone who has ever wronged me in any way, shape or form since the day I was born, whether it was the person who used to bully me when I was in school and caused me to hate being in school, or the one who cursed me and called me names on Facebook, YouTube and Twitter or even those who have backbit me and gossiped about me behind my back and I am not aware of. All of you are forgiven.

Be sure to share this article, for you might be means of helping others forgive those who wronged them, and such act of worship is better than praying taraweeh, sunnah prayers and giving charity as the Prophet stated in an authentic hadith in Saheeh Abi Dawud. Please share this. May Allah bless you.

About The Author

Majed was born in Saudi Arabia where he studied the basics of tawheed, fiqh, tafsir, hadith & tajweed for 9 years which was part of the Saudi school curriculum. He immigrated to Canada during high school. He then graduated from the University of Windsor with a bachelor degree in Mechanical Engineering. Afterwards, Majed graduated from Wayne State University with a MBA, Master degree in Business Administration. During this period he took over 46 courses with Al-Maghrib Institute, a few courses of tajweed & tafsir with Al-Bayyinah Institute and completed his memorization of the Quran. Majed has also completed a TV series with Huda TV & Peace TV. He is currently pursuing a bachelor degree in Fiqh & Usool Al-Fiqh from Al-Madinah International University and is working as a mechanical engineer at Chrysler. He is married with 2 children.

Wa alaykumus-salaam wa rahmatul-laahi wa barakaatoh Sister Umm Sumayyah,
Ameen. I appreciate your kind words. Also, a big thank you on pointing out the matter with the ayah. It is verse 22 from surat An-noor. Thank you for reading the article.

May Allah REWARD you to the GREATEST and HIGHEST and WIDEST extent. Aameen. I have seen this video of yours earlier and many other videos too, and ma sha Allah you have a very nice way of speaking. What all you have mentioned and quoted about forgiveness, I agree and accept it wholly. I have some further questions and points if you could please help me with understanding the concept of forgiveness AND help me to forgive. I want to be a good person in front of Allah and I want to do things which will make me beloved to Him.

Please tell me what is forgiveness? Does it mean that we have to resume ties with that person again? But what if that person is a Shaytaan and has been trusted earlier and given another chance but still he broke the trust. The person I am talking to is not a man if anyone is thinking. It’s a cunning cousin of mine and members of her family. Her mom is my aunt. She ruined my life and my sister’s, and because of that our family (parents and us siblings) has had a very tough time. We were simple and clean people and didn’t know that people cheated like this. My good and clean hearted parents bought us up in a protected nest but this cousin of mine did such things that it brought an earthquake in our life. Imagine a roller coaster….. up down zig zag… imagine a centrifuge…. Going round and round ….. no rest. It was horrible…

Do we really have to forgive always. Why?.. No I will not forgive. Does a person have to forgive the killer of his son? Yes I also know that Our beloved Prophet Muhammed SAW (don’t forget to say SAW , many of us like it when you say this) forgave all in Makkah including the woman who chewed his (SAW) uncle’s liver. But how do WE do it? What happened after that? Did the Prophet resume normal ties with such people?
Does the person who did us wrong have to ask us for forgiveness first and then only we should forgive him or should we say simply suddenly that khalaas I forgive him? Ok we forgive him… what next then? What after that? We move on with lives separately or are we required to mingle again? How can we mingle again with a smiley face when we are still suffering the bitter and painful consequences of those evil people? When that person is a clear devil. AllahoAkbar. I don’t even want to recall or think of that person of what he did and how we went through that torture. When I complained to my father he dint do anything just because it was his sister. He dint realize how much im suffering. I don’t know why he dint ask his sister.
Whatever disasters we went through Allah has been doing miracles continuously and our life is so Blessed. We have more than what they have. Allah has given us Himself to us, His Love, the Quran, He has filled our hearts with an urge to be more and more close to Him. And we are taking steps to be closer and closer. We have everything. Allah has given us everything. Alhamdolillah. Alhamdolillah. I want the reader to understand that when I say this it doesn’t mean we have mansions and a big bank account but Alhamdolillah Alhamdolillah a very decent living. Allah has Blessed our heart with an immense satisfaction of whatever we have and it is too much for us when at the same time people around us are in troubles. When we family members are sitting like at dinner or buying anything we always say Alhamdolillah loudly and talk that Allah has Blessed us. BUT that problem is still existing. I havnt spoken to that cousin at all after I moved away. And if by chance she comes in front of me I don’t want to even see her and this time I wont meet or talk to her. Let the people think whatever they want to. I’ve had a very hard time coming out of the mess alone with Allah’s Help only.

Another thing is that ok we don’t even bother with thinking about her in our daily lives but when the consequence of the problem comes up its very painful. Because of that shaytaaan my jobless sister is under a huge debt. We had to face loads and loads of problems because of it. Miraculously things are settled at home but the amount of money is so huge that only Allah can help us to repay that loan to the bank in her or my lifetime. So in this scenario 1) how can we FORGIVE her? 2) What do we have to do to forgive? Yani what are the steps.
I could go on and on to what she did to me and the trauma I faced because of her. Alhamdolillah its over now coz im not with them anymore and I think to myself and ask Allah that surely all that happened was for a reason. What could it be? It could be that I came closer to Allah? I don’t have any burden in my heart for not forgiving her. She is non-existing for me. Sometimes I do say that I forgive her, leave it, what is this world esp when in taraweeh or salah when Im close to Allah or see wars in the world, but then when certain disturbing situations arise at home I again say that no, all this is happening because of her why should I forgive her and I make Dua to Allah to punish them all severely.
Eagerly waiting for your reply.Also if we want to contact you personally , how do we do so?
Jazak Allahoo Khayru Katheer.