Today, i’m 23.

I started writing these words 3 months earlier for the sake of writing and nothing more. I edited it several times, but i failed to make it any more positive.

However, i hope to look back at this post a couple of years later after a change for better.

A 23 years old medical student, lost and undecided.

10 years of forgotten childhood and vague memories.

8 years of boring and unproductive school life.

5 years of incomplete acheivements and undeservable glory.

Depressed for a long time and nothing to do but to write about it, or pray to find someone i can lower my ego for, so i can open up to with no judgements.

Today, i’m 23 and i feel old as hell.

Old with a heavy soul dragging me down to the ground, with dark thoughts veiling my vision, and disappointments.

Today, i’m 23 and it’s killing me thinking of what i wasted my life doing and what i have not done yet.

Getting older without knowing is it regret what i should be feeling now or should i be proud.

All what i’m sure of is not being sure of anything. Confused like never before.

7 years of studying medicine doesn’t make you a great doctor, it needs more. Having a startup only is not satisfying at all. Working for a dream company and practising medicine at the same time is impossible, indeed.

We all have to choose, we’re all cursed with mortality. Although, It’s the fear of not living what frightens me, not death.

Today, i’m 23 with no clue of who i am now or who i want to be tomorrow. No clue of what should i have done in the past, or what should i do for the future. .