Wednesday, August 27, 2008

This morning at work, I went to the bathroom, just see bright red spotting and at 6wks pregnant, you should not see that. So, I calmly, called the doctor's office, who told me to go in to the office. I picked Simon up and we went. I was so nervous, I can't lie. He said that it may be from my uterus stretching, and it would be nothing to worry about. He did increase my prometrium from 100mg daily to 300mg daily. But, all in all he thinks everything will be ok. Thank God. Oh, and he wants me to remain off work until I have 2 straight days without bleeding.I did get to see my little Beanie Bear. He's sure there is only one in there, however, he did say one could be hiding, but highly unlikely, since he looked around. Simon and I saw Beanie Bear's little heart beat. It was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I have never seen a more beautiful ultra sound picture. Give it, it's just a speck with a circle on top, but either way, we all know that's my little living speck with a circle. Next appointment is next Tuesday and the next ultra sound in 4wks. I'll be 10wks, so we should be able to hear the heartbeat.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I am only 5wks, 5days, so I really don't know what I haven't experienced yet. So far, I went from clueless as to what was ok and good to eat. I was scared to eat, for whatever I put in my body, affected this little baby too. Then I snapped out of it, and ate. Then I ate, ate, ate, and ate some more. OMG, food was my best friend. My appetite increased. That was a short phase. Now, I'm feeling too sick to eat, but once I do, I actually feel better. But, it's going from the too sick to eat, to the eating part that's hard. Who wants to eat when they feel sick and gag at the sight of food and the smells. So far that's where I'm at.

I'm so glad, I'm having some sickness, I'm hoping it doesn't get a lot worse, but at least I KNOW I'm pregnant.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sure I've been sick here and there. The first thing in the morning grapefruit that made me sick, the latter in the night (TMI) BM stink, that made me sick, and the lovely not eating for 4-5 hours made me yucky. But those all acted like freak accidents, no real sick feeling or anything.

As of today, I have experienced some morning sickness. Had to be a man that coined that term, morning sickness. So 2 days in a row I wake up at exactly 4:46am, to pee. This morning I felt a little queasy, but drank some milk and drifted back off to sleep for a few hours. Then I woke up, got ready for church, felt great. That is until we were on our to church.

I said, "Honey, maybe we should just go tonight, I don't feel so well." He responded, "Nah, we need to go ahead and go, do I look okay, do I have any blood marks."I said, with my mouth closed, "huh, uh (no)," "honey, I feel real bad, stop at the convenient store and get me a bottle of water, here's the money."When we get there, I tell him, "I'll be in the grass taking care of some business."He comes out, "Baby, maybe we should go home, or maybe you can take me church and I'll get a ride home."Me: "Nah, lets go to church, I can't lay out the rest of the 1st tri, I'm too early on for that."

So we go on to church, still feeling a bit queasy, but I'm fine, I'll be okay. This is what I've wanted. I wanted so bad to be pregnant. Once it happened, I wanted some small form of morning sickness, so I would know I'm pregnant and feel pregnant. Well, I got what I wished for, and I know I'm pregnant.

A slight change of topics, a couple friend came to congratulate us on the big news. My mentor told her that I was pregnant. I was glad that my mentor told her. I'm not sure how long she has been trying, but she told me she was trying, and it was starting to get hard on her. I said, I knew what it was like to be trying and it seemed like everybody around you is getting pregnant. She opened up a little about it. Because of who told her, I know she knows that we had a little problems, and that it took some time. But I made it a point, not to ask 20 questions about how long they had been trying and drill her on if she's seen a doctor and stuff. If/when she wants to talk me, I'm here. And, I'm glad to know, so I don't flaunt my pregnancy around her. Simon asked me some questions about how long she had been TTC. I told him it didn't matter if she has been trying for 6months, that's 6 months without what you want most. The point is, she's starting to have a hard time dealing things. Last year around Christmas, they hadn't started trying yet. But still TTC and seeing that BFN month after month can hurt, even in the beginning.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Simon and I were TTC for over a year. We were both under a lot of stress when it finally happened, and to be honest, I was sure it wasn't going to be our month. We were overly stressed about numerous things, which led to poor timing, well, not great. I was under so much stress, it led me to get my first yeast infection, the day before I O'd, on my b-day, our big BDing day. So, this stress continued, we were having a hard time, until this weekend. Simon was busy working 2 jobs, not because we needed it really, but more because we were wanting to rent a house, with higher power bill, and higher rent. I felt abonden in the evenings when I got off work and he would either be sleeping or off at one of his jobs. Mixed with the stress of the situation and the way I was feeling and these pregnancy hormones, I was getting so mad and losing it with Simon when we were together.

Then a webmd friend, lost her husband to an unexpected death shortly after they found out she was pregnant, and they tried for 12months. After I found out about that, I began putting my life into perspective.

Simon has made me very proud to be called his wife. He quit his 2nd part time job. He ultimately decided that we will not move into that house. He is going to start getting some help for his depression, and look for 1 job making more money, that will be hours that he can support his family more ways than just financially. Starting yesterday, I began spending time with my best friend again. I saw that spark in his eyes I used to see, and I felt that giddy feeling that I haven't felt in long time.

He may not be the riches, most talented, and that high class man a lot of women want. He may not have a college degree or know how to change the oil in a car. He may not have tool box in the garage. But, he's my husband, and he has the key to my heart. He is senstive and willing to do what it takes to support his family, he just needs extra encouragment and maybe some help for depression. But, my husband is great, and I can't imagine being with anyone else.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

This will be short and sweet. If you don't already know, I found out I am a carrier for cystic fibrosis. Simon is being tested to see if he is a carrier. If he is not, then no worries, if he is, then we have concern that Beanie Bear will have cystic fibrosis.So, the whole family mine and Simon's know we are pregnant. Simon's aunt told me, 2, she said to have 2. Okay, that was funny, especially since we wouldn't mind twins and we kind of have a feeling. They said my beta numbers doubled nicely, but they didn't give me the number the from the 2nd time. I figured we'll be ok, and we'll find out in a couple weeks. We'll find out soon enough if we are having twins.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

By this point we all know what kind of blogger I am. I will wait several days until I have a book to write. So, it is 3:48am, and I woke up about an hour ago, couldn't sleep. How can you be so tired and pregnant, yet not be able to sleep at night? One mystery in life. So, lets see, I had my first dr.'s appointment on Wed. My 1st beta came back, 14dpo, 4wks,1day, as 515, my progesterone came back as 12. At first the nurse said that was ok. I looked it up online, called her again to tell her that I was nervous about it and for my peace of mind, she called in prometrium, pills. That does make me feel a lot better. But, why wouldn't she go ahead and put me on it, then turn around and change her mind. I think it was Friday and she just didn't feel like going through the extra trouble. Anyway, point is, I have the prometrium now, so I'm happy. Also, Simon and I are really hoping for twins. We know that the slightly higher beta, doesn't mean twins in and of itself. We'll know more at our first u/s on Sept. 2nd. Monday we told my father in law. We took him to Olive Garden and I ate like 6 plates of the salad. Infact that sounds really good right now. We noticed at the drugstore that Grandparents Day will be on Sept. 7th. So there were wonderful cards for Grandparents. We picked a grandfather card. On the inside I wrote something and signed it, your next grandchild. My father in law, got the message as soon as he read everything. He was very thrilled for us. Wednesday we told my mom. I needed my aunt's help with this since my mom lives 45 minutes away and my aunt lives in the same town. So, I bought a yelow onesie saying "What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's" and a yellow bib saying, "I love grandma." I also found the poem that I remember I loved that was posted on a TTC website, way back when I started trying. I typed it up on cute baby bear background. I framed it and put it in the gift box. Over the frame, I put kleenex because I knew she would cry. I wrapped the box, then gave it to my aunt. My job was pretty much complete. We went to the church, where my aunt and mom had choir practice. To our surprise practice had been canceled, because the director was sick. My aunt called my mom and told her to still come, it was really important. So, my aunt, cousin, and me, go to the choir room. I hide in this closet/robe room. My mom and grandma's comes in. My mom sits in the perfect chair, so I can see and peak through the crack where the door hinges are. My aunt told her it was an early birthday present, her b-day is on Sept 2nd. My mom figured it was either something to make her cry or a joke because my aunt stood up and started taking pictures. Once she opened the gift and started reading the poem, I quietly came out of the closet and stood there. She saw the onesie as she tried to read the poem, but found it hard because there were a few people there. She started crying and looked up, there I was, she stood up and hugged me. It was a wonderful thing, just as I hoped for. I knew that this would be the 1st baby announcement for my mom, I'm her only child. I needed to make it very special, and special it was. It worked out perfect and we were all pleased. She said, we got her, surprised her, something that isn't easy to do. Now tomorrow, Sunday we plan on doing a very similar thing with my mother in law. Same poem, same gift, only it's her late birthday present from us. We haven't seen her since her birthday, so it's wonderful. She has grandchildren, 2 from her daughter and 6 from her step children. I hope it goes as well as it did with my mom.Symptoms, not too bad yet. I learned Tuesday morning, do not eat grapefruit on an empty stomach, it didn't stay down well. Thursday I was very sick feeling in the morning. By lunch I was sick feeling again, but this time more like shakey and weak. Friday morning, I felt fine, until I got in the car on the way to work, and started feeling a little sick. My boobs are sore, but nothing unbearable. They are changing in appearance, that's for sure. I'm not sure if they are growing, but there's other stuff that happens to them that makes them change. I'm totally constipated despite the prenatal with stool softener. And let me tell you, I've never thought I would ever have a constipation problem. I am bloated some now. I know it's not the beanie bear baby that's making my clothes a little tight, it's obviously gas. I don't have any headaches, though once a day, for 3 days I get a little dizzy.The dr.'s appointment went well. I am at risk for pre-ecclampsia and gestational diabetes. The dr. and me are being optimistic that it's not a definate thing. I asked him if he would induce if we went passed my EDD on 4/21/2009. He said, because of my risk, if we make it to week 39, he wants to induce then, not take any chances when the beanie bear will be fine. That makes sense. But, that give me an aries baby. I'm not all into the zodiac signs, but read a description, thinking about somebody you know that is that sign, see if you don't some similarities in most. So, an aries baby sounds like it's going to be a handful and a half. However, in a way I'm glad. If I have a "typical" aries child, it seems to me that the child will not be picked on, as I always was in school. People walked all over me growing up, and still do from time to time. My aries baby will probably stand up for him or herself. Going by the description, my aries baby will probably be rather successful in life, as far as achieving their goals. So, in the long run I think it'll be a good thing. May be harder to raise, but it'll all be good. I'll update in another week with a book.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

P. Yesterday was 11dpo and my BBT was 98.19. I told myself if my temp was 98.19 or higher I would buy some HPT's. Well, it did drop, down to 98.19, exactly. I bought me a 2 pack of FRER. I had all intentions of testing this morning, at 12dpo with FMU. But, something hit and I just had to test yesterday evening. I tested and did my usual stare routine. The control lines popped up, and then the test line popped up, very quickly, and it was blazing. There's no mistaking it. No squinting, no holding it under light, nothing, it's there, no question. I started shaking with excitement and called Simon. He was at work. I told him, honey, baby, I'm pregnant. He says are you sure? I say of course, well I think, I don't believe it, but it's hear in front of me. So, I waited till this morning to take one with him. He is so cute. Simon was all into watching the preg. test and said he had never seen how it works. He wanted me describe the science of it. He wanted me to describe the science and timeline of the pregnancy and how I got pregnant. We are so excited, we will be parents. That sounds so strange. And we are getting that house. We'll be moving the end of the month. Yeah, 1st tri, hot August heat, and moving. That's a real good combo. But it'll be well worth it to get out of this crummy apartment and into this house. (rent to own, if we want it to be). The guest room will not be the guest room for long, so we not decorate it with soft and welcoming colors like I had planned. I'll leave it white a bear for the time being, so we can start from scratch when it becomes the nursery. And we have a lot of storage in this house. It'll be a much better area to get our family started. Everything is changing so fast, but we are excited.

Monday, August 4, 2008

We faxed the application for our house we are wanting to rent. I am getting very excited. DH called the electric company to find out what the average bill for the house was the last 12 consecutive month somebody was in it. It is very reasonable, not the greatest, but by no means, not impossible. Now we just sit by the phone and wait that call telling us if we are approved for it or not. Gosh, I'm hoping we are approved. I am getting VERY excited about this. If we aren't approved, a co-worker of mine informed me of a company you pay $75 and for 6 months they find you rental homes. They find out what you want, in any amount of detail you have, and they find it for you. Most of what they find are not listed in the paper and are not advertised with "for rent" signs. I know, we should be looking into buying a house, but it's not the right time for us just yet. We are wanting to wait till either DH and/or I are settled in a career. Right now we are only working jobs, jobs that bring the money in. Also, I have a bankrupcy on my record. That's right, I have had to file bankrupcy, it actually went through the day before we got married. Before you think I went out and ran up my credit in an attempt to live above my means, let me explain. It all started when I moved from one state to another. I was young, and didn't know/understand COBRA. Infact to this day I'm denying that I ever received the option. You see I was getting out of a really bad relationship and the only way to get out was to escape and run away. Once I made up my mind it was not safe to stick around or turn around. I had to quit my job spur of the moment on my way out of town. That was a crazy time in my life. Well, a few months later, I began pretty sick. I went to the doctor, but since I didn't have insurance she didn't run any test, and medicated me for a virus/strep. A few days later I felt even worse but did not feel like sitting in the doctor's office for hours as a walk in. So, I went to the local ER. I had a fever and was obviously not well. They did b/w and didn't tell me anything. The doctor kept looking at my chart, shaking his head (no), looking up at me, telling me there's something, then looking down again, and looking up at me and telling me there's nothing wrong. WTH!?! So they release me, but before I sign the paper to be release, I tell them my temp has gone up, I could feel it, sure enough it had gone up. They gave me a shot of tylenol and sent me along my merry little way. The next day, I was feeling a little better. I threw a piece of wood off of my mother's deck, and slipped on frost. I fell pretty hard on a rocky hard ground. The next day, I was feeling a little beat up, but overall ok. In fact, I was amazed at how well I felt, for the day after. Then on Monday, the 3rd day, I was working. I had this autistic guy with me, I took him so he could get milk from a convienent store. I felt a pop in my left upper abdomin, I felt it in my shoulder, chest all over that side, it took my breath away, I got clamy and felt like I was having a heart attack. But I kept doing my job with this autistic guy. That evening the pain was so terrible, I drove myself to the ER, just be told I had a bruised chest wall. I was given pain pills to be taken with food. I woke up the next morning to vomitting on my way to work. I didn't look so well, but this young adult's mom was a BITCH and needed me to stay with her autistic son. So, I did everything I could to stay awake, I wasn't sleepy though. I kept drifting off. I found it easier to take him to fast food for lunch, because I couldn't supervise him preparing himself something for lunch. That evening his parents arrived, and I couldn't so much as get up, much less eat. I looked terrible. The talked me into eating so I could take my medicine, before I even got my pill in me, I was throwing up, badly. The next morning I woke up dry heaving. By this point I was afraid of going back to the ER. But, I was encouraged to do so, and really saw no other option. After waiting in the waiting room for 5hrs I was called back. After 2 bags of IV fluid I was still dehydrated and after several shots of phenegran I was still sick on my stomach. They tried to send me home many times, but I refused, I told them, something was wrong. Eventually they ordered a CT scan. When they saw I couldn't even hold down water for the CT scan, they knew I was really sick. Found out my spleen was ruptured. I was airlifted to a trauma hospital. The very next morning, despite my request to wait till my mother arrived, they began surgery to take that ruptured organ out. My blood levels had dropped so low, I was on the brink of death. This started a 2wk stay, not at the Holiday Inn, but in the hospital. I had complication after complication. Once the bills started coming in, it was more than $100,000. There was no way I could even begin to tackle those bills, plus the bills I had already accumulate (car, rent, phone, credit card--the normal stuff), and live (eat), all at the same time. So months and years past, and eventually I found my only option was to file for bankrupcy. It really was the only option. In the light of it all, I'm glad I did it, though it really sucks with my credit for a while. So buying a house right now, is just out of the question. It's not going to happen, so renting is our option. I'm okay with that for now. I have to be, right. But, I do want to get out of the apartments and go to the house.As far as TTC, I am 6dpo. My temps have been nice and high, until today, it dropped quite a bit. But, it's the overall picture, not just one individual temp that counts. I'm not planning on POAS. Well, I haven't put a date or day on when I will test. So far I'm pretty relaxed and level headed, though I can feel the anticipation building. I will try my best to hold back until I am really late. But, is late 12dpo, when AF should start for me, or is late 13dpo, the day after AF should start? Or, am I supposed to wait till after the "normal" 14dpo to test? Who knows, I'll test when I test, if I even test.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sorry to all those who get curious and read my blog. I'm just so terrible at blogging. So, it's pretty much been a month since my last post. Great, that means a month worth of updating.I went to my follow up for my endo and lap. Yes, I have endo, he lasered most off. He could not safely get the endo that was on my urethra off. He got a bunch of cysts off of an ovary. I saw pictures and it was like 5 or more times larger than the size it was supposed to be. The doctor seems to think we shouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant now. Since the endo is gone, and I'm taking metformin. He does want me to go back to see him in the middle of August if I'm not pregnant and he will give me a script for clomid. I am 5dpo, so we'll see if I will be going in for clomid or for betas. I think I will go ahead and schedule my appointment, either way I will need to see him, and if I do find out I'm pregnant, I will love having that early appointment. About month an half ago, DH's car was hit, while it was parked in the parking lot of our apartment. It pissed me off. Nobody said anything, even after DH asked, nobody would knew anything. How can you hit a freakin parked car, and it was pretty bad and not know. Since we got the truck, my car has been parked across the street at a very small factory, we are at the end (hard to explain), but it's not where the workers park. It's only an area where we have been instructed to park by the owner of the apartment. Well, last week, my car was hit. We live in a 2 bedroom, with only 1 assigned parking. We have now comendered other apartment's parking spaces. It's less walk for them to park across the street, we have been here longer than anybody else, and 2 cars in 2 months have been involved in an hit and run situation. It pisses me off, and we will not back down. We will not continue to stay in this apartment, paying rent and car repairs from stupid, blind, or drunk drivers who can't drive. So we are looking to move very soon. We have a list of about 18 apartments to call and ask a list of questions. The apartment we are looking at are a lot better than the cheap one we are in. This one we are in, the toilet wont flush half the time, the oven doesn't work, there's obvious mold, and there's no parking. Well, let me correct that, there is plenty of parking at any time, just there are assigned parking. So there can be 15 empty spaces, but they are "off limits." The apartments we are looking at, have pools and clubhouses. It'll be great. The other option is this house for rent that we found. We really liked the house. It's not perfect, but we aren't buying, so it doesn't have to be perfect. But, as most know there are things we have to look at with the house. We have to see what the average electric bill is and check for mold and stuff before we actually go with the house. We are excited about this move.

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About Me

I'm a mom to the happiest little baby ever...or so everybody tells me. She is a social butterfly, so unlike myself.
I'm a wife to a truck driver. He loves his job, but we all hate for him to be away like he is. The plan is for him to get a local job pretty soon.
We just found out we are expecting baby #2 in October. We are very shocked as I have PCOS and endometriosis, hubby is a truck driver and goes overboard on the energy drinks. Though it DH has taken us by suprise, we are very excited about becoming a family of 4 rather than 3.