So, my man Chris slung me a link about this the other day, although why he’s up on his wife swapping adventure holidays i don’t know.

Apparently, the White COCKatoo Resort in far north Queensland is hosting a 250 person, month long swingers party… yep, a whole month of swapping partners with couples from interstate and around the world. Apparently swingers parties are recession proof, coz all that viagra can’t be cheap.

The White COCKatoo Resort was in the headlines last time after locals complained about a couple getting their “breakfast sex” on, out in the open on their balcony, while 6 others were evicted after having a “gangbang” in their chalet… apparently the maid didn’t see the “do not disturb” sign, and got a little more than she bargained for… You know, even as i’m writing this i’m wondering why…

On the other hand, Swingers is a sic movie, Vince Vaughn was gold in his pre make-shitty-comedies-for-lots-of-money days.

Nothing much to report, this release has been kicking around for a bit and i still fkn love it. I didn’t even realise that Mr.Hawthorne was also in the group Now On, who released “Tomorrow Already” last year, its definitely more hip-hop, but pretty rad. He’s a Detroit native, doing that ‘new-retro’ vibe with his band The County. His new single is out (soon/now?), it sounds like a cover of the The Holidays “Maybe So, Maybe No”, either way its nice.

Check him out here or here. In the words of Peanut Butter Wolf: “He showed me two songs and I didn’t understand what I was listening to… I asked him if they were old songs that he did re-edits of – I couldn’t believe they were new songs and that he played all the instruments.”

It’s going to get hot as shit tomorrow, spin some heart-shaped vinyl, keep the drinks cool and the ice frosty… and don’t light fires.

I didn’t watch the Oscars, frankly, i find it all a little self serving and indulgent, plus they rarely get it right.

This time round, Slum Dog Millionaire took a bunch of statues, good for Danny Boyle and the team, it was a solid film, and i’ll always have a soft spot for Bollywood dance routines after a 10 hour flight across India with nothing but re-runs of Chupke Chupke and Socha Na Tha for company. Although there are these…

Anyway, i’m not going to review it or anything, as usual i’m just going to assume you can’t use YouTube yourself… here’s some clips.

Bringing primary school back to the red carpet.

Ben Stiller kinda stopped being funny a while back, but this is gold… If you haven’t seen the original check here.

Hugh Jackman does it for the ladies, apparently there was a 13% increase in female viewers this year, and as usual Beyonce’s hips do it for me.

A.R Rahman is a beast of a composer, but why the fk is Alicia Keys bowing?

We knew it would happen, but nice to see Heath get a little golden dude… was Angelina crying?

So, believe it or not, i’ve had drinks with Jake, the dude charged with blackmailing a high profile politician with exposure of a gay sex tape… not that it went any further, i’m more of a embezzlement guy myself.

Like Oscar Wilde, I’m strangely fascinated by cases like these, particularly when high-profile people are involved, because the media shuts down, and everyone clams up about who it could be. No one ever seems to want to have an opinion, because there’s no winners. I guess that’s because he’s married, with children, in a position of power… and we don’t like knowing the sordid details.

Well, NOTR says good-taste be damned, if we can’t have the truth, then we’ll just have to do a Who Wants to be a Millionaire and ask the audience:

It’s dangerous ground to tread i know, but these days ideology is rampant and an ability and/or willingness to articulate your views should be celebrated. After all, when it comes to big time, major league bullshit… you have to stand in awe. Of the clergy. (RIP George Carlin)

I believe in the following:

1. “Peace”

2. “Love”

3. “Unity”

On an unrelated note:

NOTR guerilla crew member Sam went deep undercover to kick off a new regular spot we’re starting… The NorthoftheRiver celebrity column!

Paul Dempsey, i may still respect you, but good god man, smile for the photo next time. The internets will not stand for your disrespect. Don’t forget where you came from my friend. This shit is like Entourage, get in on the ground floor, because if you don’t… well…

I’m a little late, and yes i appreciate that Chimpanzees are not strictly actors… but is it wrong to feel worse for Travis in all this?

“He looked at me like, ‘Mom, what did you do?”

“He couldn’t have been more my son than if I gave birth to him”…unless he was, um, human?

Yeah, this shit’s pretty intense… Yet I’m curious as to why everyone is amazed that a 90kg Chimpanzee, native to the Congo and Central Africa (not Connecticut) who had been made to promote shitty US products wearing a dress for years, then kept in a house and fed Italian food and wine, and occasionally had his tea spiked with Xanax would suddenly snap… hmmm…