78

78

78.2

80.3

80.1

.507

.487

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.8%

In his post-game press conference, manager Charlie Manual said, "We don't come here to lose." Then he should have gestured towards the field and said, "Nope. We do that out there."

2

51

105

54.6

54.8

55.0

.345

.327

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Astros are in the infant stages. Right now they're eliminating everything, but soon they'll start to grow and get better and then they'll tell their dad they hate him and get thrown out of the house. Oh well.

3

70

86

72.2

67.2

67.2

.443

.463

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Royals lost on a walk-off groundout. It's actually hard, when you think about it, to imagine how that happens. But it did!

4

73

83

74.2

72.2

74.3

.471

.491

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Mariners are taking to their spoiler role so well that GM Jack Zduriencik has announced that the team will refuse any playoff spot they qualify for next season.

5

66

90

66.0

68.5

69.8

.433

.414

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Nothing better sums up the Marlins season than this: they are ending their season with Carlos Lee as their clean-up hitter and it's almost impossible to figure out why.

6

74

82

71.7

72.3

71.5

.464

.444

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

How do you hit .283/.371/.485 with 29 homers when half your games are in Petco Park? Someone should check Chase Headley's bat for too much awesome.

7

65

91

65.4

67.7

67.6

.426

.445

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Twins have used 12 different starters this season. Of those, four have ERAs below 5.00, and one has an ERA below 4.00.

8

76

80

75.5

76.5

74.1

.484

.464

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

Remember when we all thought the Pirates might make the playoffs? Ha ha! We're dumb.

9

72

84

72.0

75.7

77.8

.477

.457

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Twenty wins for R.A. Dickey is the cherry in an empty sundae glass that is the Mets season.

10

84

72

83.6

86.8

86.4

.546

.566

87.1%

0.0%

87.1%

14.8%

58.2%

If someone said you had to bet your house and your job on which Tigers pitcher would strike out nine straight batters, I'd tell you not to do that. (It was Doug Fister)

11

62

94

67.1

63.4

62.9

.409

.390

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Over 30,000 fans filled Coors Field to see the Cubs and Rockies, a battle of two bad teams and a game with zero playoff implications. Either there was a Todd Helton mullet-hat give-away or Denver is a greater baseball city than we could have imagined. (I'm guessing mullet hat.)

12

78

78

82.4

82.3

81.5

.519

.499

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

-0.8%

The Diamondbacks used five pitchers who, combined, managed a single strikeout. That came from Matt Albers. When Matt Albers leads your team in strikeouts, that day is not likely to move the standings in your favor.

13

69

87

71.7

67.3

69.2

.444

.464

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Every time Brett Lawrie homers an angel gets a large and instantly regrettable tattoo.

14

91

65

85.9

83.9

82.5

.550

.530

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Giants have won 10 straight games started by Barry Zito. That's like flipping a coin in the air 10 straight times and each time it lands on its side.

15

69

87

74.1

76.5

77.0

.475

.495

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If the Red Sox don't fire Bobby Valentine when the season ends, the city of Boston will engage in the silliest riot ever.

16

82

74

84.5

82.3

81.0

.528

.548

12.9%

0.0%

12.9%

-14.8%

-60.3%

The White Sox had eight hits and five walks but only two runs. How? All singles. (1-for-8 with runners in scoring position didn't hurt that cause either.)

17

59

97

63.5

60.3

60.7

.390

.371

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Chris Volstad: three innings, 10 hits, seven runs, no walks and no strikeouts. That's passing the buck to people who can't catch it.

18

94

62

87.2

85.0

82.2

.558

.539

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Losing 1-0 and down to their last out, the Reds went homer, single, triple. They're a bunch of ninjas, I tell you. Except Bronson Arroyo. He's not a ninja.

19

65

91

60.5

65.3

66.0

.412

.431

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

It took the Indians two months to go from 'Manny Acta will be our manager in 2013' to 'You're fired.' At least now Acta will have more time to devote to watching Gangnam Style parody videos.

20

80

76

82.6

83.3

80.8

.524

.504

0.0%

1.8%

1.8%

-2.8%

-7.1%

The Brewers game ended with John Axford giving up the lead. If they have stats for blown seasons Axford should get a one.

21

95

61

94.3

94.5

93.0

.604

.584

97.8%

2.2%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Hello, Bryce Harper, it is nice to see your third-highest-slugging-percentage-in-the-majors-over-the-past-month again!

22

92

64

89.6

94.2

93.0

.591

.610

95.5%

4.5%

100.0%

0.2%

-0.0%

A four-game lead with six to go is what we mathy people call a sure thing. And yes, I'm jinxing this on purpose simply out of curiosity.

23

81

75

80.2

78.8

79.4

.512

.492

0.0%

5.6%

5.6%

2.1%

0.6%

If there is a silver lining to being down 3 1/2 games with six to go it's that all their remaining games are at home. Because higher quality hot dogs help you play better baseball.

24

86

70

86.1

88.3

89.9

.561

.581

0.0%

9.2%

9.2%

-9.5%

-3.7%

Not only did the Angels lose a must-win game against an inferior opponent, but they got crushed. Don't want to put too much weight on one game, but when that's almost all there is remaining...

25

90

66

89.0

90.1

91.0

.577

.597

82.5%

17.0%

99.5%

-0.0%

0.7%

The Yankees got five hits last night. Three came from Robinson Cano and two came from Russell Martin. The rest of the team went 0-for-25.

26

86

70

90.3

90.4

91.8

.574

.594

0.2%

21.4%

21.6%

11.8%

15.0%

Eight straight wins for Tampa and now only two back of a Wild Card. Didn't I see this movie last year?

27

89

67

77.9

75.3

76.8

.511

.531

17.3%

66.7%

84.0%

0.7%

-4.8%

The Orioles gained a half game on the Yankees without playing. Because they're the Orioles.

28

88

68

86.6

82.7

84.2

.547

.567

4.5%

81.2%

85.7%

-3.2%

-5.1%

How do you hit five home runs and still lose? All season long I've avoided the easy "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" line. If ever there was a time to do it, this is it. But no. I resist!

29

84

72

88.8

89.8

86.5

.559

.540

0.0%

92.6%

92.6%

0.7%

8.2%

Kyle Lohse has 37 walks in 205 innings. That's the third-lowest walk rate on the team behind a guy who has pitched 24 innings and a guy who has pitched 11.

30

91

65

88.8

87.8

87.9

.570

.550

2.2%

97.8%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Five straight wins for Atlanta, though three of them came against Miami, so to be fair, we'll downgrade it to a four-game win streak.