Throwback Game Reviews: Halo 4

Oh boy, generic shooter games? My favorite. Halo 4 is a shooter game that does literally nothing unique or creative to make itself stand out; it just exists for some reason. Halo 4 just steals everything from the Halo games before it, adding very little that’s new, and when it does it’s just ideas nicked from other source materials.

Halo 4’s storyline is generic and boring. It recycles most of the plot from the first game and provides one thing new, “the prometheans”. The prometheans are a race of aliens that have a bunch of glow sticks glued to everything they own, and make screeching sounds constantly along with looking like somebody glued a bunch of Transformers together. They provide one interesting thing, that being the Didact who serves as the main villain of the story. His design is pretty intimidating and the voice actor fits him well, but that immediately becomes irrelevant when you kill the big bad by pushing one button which makes the entire storyline feel like a waste of everyone’s time. It isn’t even fun to play through because the only way the developers decided to make the game difficult is by adding in more dudes to shoot which just becomes boring when every map looks the same.

The multiplayer is also boring and dull, since they cut out all of the interesting modes only leaving team death match because that’s all a game needs amiright, because variety is stupid and we can just sell the other stuff later anyways. Which is exactly what Halo 4 did with some staple game modes from the past games. They added in new completely broken guns which makes the game unable to become competitive because some guns are just straight up better than every other gun and ruin everyone’s experience as you kill them across the entire map by just barely even touching them with the projectile. Also as usual you can expect the screeching child on a mic during the multiplayer because gun games are for kids apparently.

What I’m trying to say here is that more enjoyment can be made from bashing your head against a wall than burning sixty dollars to the Microsoft Overlords so they can make yet another pointless sequel every single year that provides nothing new. Not only is it free, bashing your head against a wall will eventually make you forget this thing even existed, so there’s a plus to doing that over playing this game.