Movie Reviews

THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER

dalegribble | trenton tarpits | 02/26/2004

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I love independent film, love it, I can sit through just about anything, even ANKLE BITERS. I'm not even taking budget into account,a good idea and a competant script even worth writing let alone filming are free. This piece of crap had to stop I didn't even finish watching it, thank god I had enough where-with-all to not destoy the disc, thank god I only rented this piece of crap. DO NOT BUY THIS, DON'T RENT THIS, DON'T EVEN LOOK AT IT AT THE VIDEO STORE, DON'T FINISH READING THIS REVIEW, just close your browser and walk anway from your computer and try to forget that you even heard about this movie. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE SO-BAD-IT'S-GOOD MOVIES IT'S INSULTING TO HUMANITY.
p.s. I gave it one star because amazon makes you give atleast one star"

The worst movie you'll ever want to definitely rent!

Robert Riter | Los Angeles, CA United States | 11/17/2002

(1 out of 5 stars)

"OK, one question in this review: Were you a fan of Mystery Science Theatre 3000? Those who answered no, hit back, there's NO way you'll want to even TOUCH This video.If you answered yes, I recommend renting this movie - only buying it if you want to drive friends crazy when they stop by from out of town. The gore in this that's much hyped is SO laughable in it's attempt to be over the top, that's not much of a factor unless someone is really bothered by it - for example, whenever anything 'gory' happens that MIGHT look disturbing, they hold the camera on it for 5-10 seconds to provide "maximum gore" level. The problem with this is that, simply put, effects fall apart when you study them too closely! You'll see the brains are oatmeal, that the top of someone's head that just got carved off is quite obviously a hat, as is the exposed brain which is obviously liver, etc.Why do you want this movie then? Because it's so bad, it's good. NOTE: IT IS BEST WATCHED IN A GROUP SETTING! We had a blast ripping the movie to pieces as it progressed, steadily getting more and more ridiculas. Even the VHS version has the behind the scenes section, which is great - it repeats the same scenes over and over and when they ask people if they like how the movie came out, they ACTUALLY pause and think about it for seconds before trying to lie their way out of it.You also get the classic moment where one of the actress likens one of the special effects experiences to her previous role in a movie titled ... In fact, that about sums up the whole movie: Gore porn. There's less than 4 seconds of actual nudity but the acting, video quality, sound quality, plausability - that's pretty much what it seems like.So rent this movie, turn down the lights, and watch it all the way through - the Brain Damaged trailers really set the mood with the awfulness, too, so don't skip them!!"

The horror.....the horror......the horror...........

TrezKu13 | Norfolk, VA | 03/06/2004

(1 out of 5 stars)

"Oh my god...to all you reviewers who put 2 stars or less and suggested people not see this...I ask you humbly for your most sincere apologies. I did not heed to your warnings and now...part of me is gone...part of me will never return...You know in Mystery Science Theater 3000 when our heroes say a movie hurts them? I always thought they were just kidding, but now I know perfectly what they mean. This movie HURT me. It did. I would rather hit Omaha Beach with a pea shooter and bright orange uniform than watch this movie again.I don't know what kind of cartoons this Joe Castro guy watched as a kid, but I don't remember any thing like this. Even cheap French cartoons don't get as bad as this...and might I add the two main villains ARE NOT CARTOONS! They're guys in rubber suits! And what little they do animate is awful. I'm at an art college, and I do things for class projects that have come out better animated than what these guys did. The special affects in this makes the giant insect films of the 1950's look like "Jurassic Park."The music got god-awful annoying after a while. At first I was like, "Cool, its like a poor man's Danny Elfman." I quickly learned the err of my judgement. They play the theme through out the whole movie, almost nonstop. Its the same damn two notes over and over and over and over and over and over again. This is accompanied by the Doctor's constant cackling, which is also just as nonstop. These two sounds combined make a soundtrack you can easily slit your wrists to.But you know what? This whole movie never ends. It just won't end! At one point I thought to myself "My god when is this thing over?" only to look at my DVD info and find out I had only gone 30 minutes in. They drag every scene out into oblivion, presenting one continuous bad joke to another. The plot of the devil using cartoons is all well but not done in this way. Its kind of a silly plot too...the devil wants to use Saturday morning cartoons to kill people. This was obviously under the assumption people still watched Saturday morning cartoons.My pondering about the guy that made this thing was answered looking at the special features ("special" being a choice word). The opening interview with Joe Castro has him talking about his film:"How'd I get the cast from Terror Toons? The cast of Terror Toons is like...you know when I look at Terror Toons I look at the cast of of every body you know...you know...its been about a year since we made the movie...every body seems to have gone on and done other things..."Wow, with such a great stream of consciousness I'm amazed he could even write a script, let alone combine letters to form words. Don't see this movie. No. Don't. Just trust me. You'll go through the pain I did. No, don't even see it if you like bad movies. This isn't "funny ha ha" its "funny oh my brain is melting." Don't see it. Just trust me. Don't watch it. I'm serious. Please. I'll die happy knowing I've spared other souls. Don't see the movie. Don't."

THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER.

H. Arrambide | 09/28/2008

(1 out of 5 stars)

"PLEASE DO NOT BUY OR WATCH THIS AT ALL. IT'S THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING.

DO NOT WATCH."

Hoo boy.

Gail A. Hmielewski | 07/03/2006

(1 out of 5 stars)

"I took a gamble and bought this from the $5 bin at Block Buster.Ever since, I have given up gambling for good.Thank you, $5 bin. You have shown me the light."