Sometimes you hear news and you don't know whether to laugh or cry. For instance: Glee's fantastic Lea Michele will play Dorothy in the upcoming musical film Dorothy Of Oz, which will, of course, be in 3D.

The other members of the cast are also fantastic: Kelsey Grammer, Dan Akroyd, Martin Short, Jim Belushi, Hugh Dancy, Patrick Stewart, and Oliver Platt… but for the love of Toto. Does this film need to be made?!?! Sigh. I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow. [E!]

Perez Hilton published an upskirt photograph of Miley Cyrus — without underwear — on his Twitter account. The image was later removed, but seeing as how Miley is 17, it's gross… and of course, everyone wants to see it. [NYDN]

Kendra is "back," you guys. She used her Twitter account for the first time in over a month. Of course, if you read the mags in Midweek Madness, she was never gone. Anyway, she says: "I really want to thank all of you for all the love and support you've shown me over the past few weeks!!! I love you all so much! I'm leaving the past in the past and I'm so excited for my future with my family. I'm back babyyy!!! Lolololol!!!!!" [People]

Kendra's birthday was on Saturday and she says: "25 feels so good." [Us Magazine]

A blonde Laker Girl caught Justin Timberlake's eye, so he asked the "woman in charge" of the Laker Girls to get the young woman's phone number for him. The dancer in question, knowing JT has a girlfrfiend, refused to give up her digits, saying, "No thanks — I don't want to be another Bombshell McGee!" [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are lying on a beach in Hawaii and I am not. Penny will be shooting the new Pirates Of The Caribbean movie shortly, by the by. [People]

Robert Pattinson says that Twilight is sexy without sex:
"[Fans] like that moment before [sex] … the kind of tipping point before it goes over… everybody likes that. That's the best part, for a relationship." [People]

At the Tony Awards, Katie Holmes towered over her co-presenter, Daniel Radcliffe. This item points out that Tom Cruise is an inch shorter than Radcliffe, yet you never see Katie towering over Tom. Does she only wear flats around him? Or does Tom wear lifts? Or both? [NYDN]

Anne Hathaway will play a a working-class woman in love with a charming rich man in One Day, a a film based on the Cinderella-ish David Nicholls novel. [Mirror]

Heidi Montag is in negotiations with ITV, a UK television network, to star in a show in which she and Jennifer Bunney travel around Europe having fun. Scintillating. [X17]

Someone took Lady Gaga's picture while she was having dinner and she demanded the snap be deleted. Then she adjusted her see-through gown and continued to dine. [Page Six]

Porn star Devon James is claiming Tiger Woods is the father of her secret love child. The folks at Radar saw pictures of the kid, and claim there is a "striking resemblance." [Radar Online]

Catherine Zeta-Jones has apologized for making "crass" remarks at the Tonys — she said of Michael Douglas, "See that man over there? He's a movie star, and I get to sleep with him every night." Now she says: "It wasn't the most elegant thing to say, was it? I was so caught up in the moment I don't think I knew what I was saying. I had no control over what was coming out of my mouth. What I said about Michael was heartfelt... although I can't believe I said something like that. Just can't believe I said something as crass as that." [Contact Music]

Betty White says that technology has created a generation of people who "can't think on their feet… they have to punch [a device]." [NY Post]

In an interview with CNN, Eminem says: "It took me a while to admit that I had a problem… I overdosed and almost died." [CNN]

Sources at Jersey Shore say The Situation is out of control. He breaks the rules and won't listen to producers. [TMZ]

The cast of Jersey Shore will be on the cover of Rolling Stone. [Radar Online]

The RHONY lineup will change next season; Bravo is looking for some new housewives. [Page Six]

Bam Magera's head injury has messed up plans for a scene in Jackass 3D… because he was supposed to get hit in the head. [TMZ]

Apparently there's a scene in which John C. Reilly is naked and pleasuring himself in the new movie Cyrus. Get your tickets now! [Page Six]

Some kind of Michael Jackson video game — in which you're challenged to do his moves — is in the works and should be ready by Christmas. [TMZ]

"I guess I just thought if too many good things happen, then you're going to die at 30. I didn't want that to happen. Yeah, so probably, I'm going to die at 30. Actually, it's God saying, 'Hey, you shouldn't have asked for too much.'" — Robert Pattinson. [Contact Music]

"Having children changes your life drastically, and I really love my life. Children aren't the only things that bring you gratification and happiness, and it's easier to give life than to give love, so I don't know. That kind of change would have to be either very well thought out, or a total mistake — a real oops!" — Cameron Diaz. [People via InStyle]

"Never swim with the dolphins. Mine pooped in my face. I'm so embarrassed! It was so crazy. So basically they were like, 'Pet the dolphin, it's so soft - now go into the water and see how smooth its belly is.' So we did and then.... I will never swim with a dolphin again." — Kelly Rowland. [Contact Music]