N Korea: Missile Successfully Kills 9 Japanese Sea Bass, 1 Mackerel

Aug 3, 2016

Supreme leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un has announced that today’s missile launch “exceeded all expectations” by successfully killing nine Japanese sea bass and one mackerel.

Two missiles were fired on Wednesday morning local time with one missile exploding after launch, as per prelaunch tactics, and the second missile successfully landing on a school of Japanese sea bass just 250 kilometers west of Akita Prefecture in Japan.

“The second ballistic missile was a direct hit on a large school of mature age sea bass that were swimming at high speeds towards the coast of Japan,” said Kim Jong-un.

“We now have solid proof that the gods are on our side with information coming through that some shrapnel from that missile flew and hit another enemy mackerel that happened to be swimming nearby.”

There are now very real fears that the North Korean missile program may soon be capable of wiping out several blue fin tuna with one strike.