Apparently the former ballet dancer was wolfing down five sticks of cheese a day at the office at one point in the not-so-distant past. "A Wisconsin thing?" pondered the article condescendingly.

The author added with a hint of relief that Mayer has since joinced Weight Watchers because she had "no idea how to eat sensibly."

While Vogue awkwardly tries to acknowledge Mayer's success in the business world (the story quotes her Stanford professor as saying, "She hitched her wagon to the right star"), it's clear that what they find most interesting about her is her Google Analytics-inspired approach to fashion.

She goes to Bergdorf Goodman twice a year with a personal shopper. She tracks department store sales online. She also uses Google Product Search to find specific items.

It's an approach that could be described either as brilliant or souless, and Vogue can't decide what to make of it. To the author's credit, it appears that the interviews with Mayer had to be conducted in short bursts in San Francisco, Mountain View, and New York due to Mayer's schedule, making it difficult to "bundle it all up into [a] linear narrative."

Maybe that's true, or maybe Mayer just isn't Vogue material. Sure, she rattles off a list of favorite things like she's Oprah, but there's something coolly calculated about the whole thing.