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Massage Parlour

I have been a few times and had a girl give me a "happy ending" after a massage. I feel guilty because I was brought up going to church and I feel like marriage is sacred. I am just very lonely and sad because I am not married. I could never have s** with them because I already feel too guilty and ashamed. I also don't want to catch an STD.

I really hope I don't harm these girls in any way but I am afraid I might hurt them emotionally. I hope they don't hate me. I could tell one girl did not like doing this kind of work. I would never insist or pressure them for anything.

Often they seem nice and we talk a lot.

Sometimes I just ask them to cuddle so I can pretend for a moment that there is some love in my empty life.

I am afraid no decent woman would ever want me now if they knew what I really was. I want to stop and hope my life changes.

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I went again and an incredibly gorgeous girl offered me s** but I just could not do it like that, and in a place like that. Though now I cannot stop thinking about it. She had the most beautiful face and such large perky t***. I am afraid I will become addicted to it, or worse fall in love with her.She seems nice but suspect she only cares for my money.

I am not working so I doubt I could find a nice woman, though honestly I have had trouble findng woman even when I had a good job.