Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones."

Blogging With A Purpose Award

Books I'm Reading

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie

Prayer's Inner Chamber by Andrew Murray

Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions

About Me

My NEW Blog is: www.beggarlybouquet.com -- I am not famous. My parents are not famous. My grandparents are not famous. In fact, the only famous person in our family line might be the western outlaw: Belle Starr. But something my great-grandparents, grandparents, and now my parents have passed down to me is the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. This blog is a small effort on my part to pass what I am learning as I follow after Him on to you, and to use what He has given me to bring glory to His name.
(Wow. Apparently my profile page has been viewed over 3,000 times!)

Links

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

New Attitude 2007

ATTENTION: I have started a new blog about my experience at New Attitude '07: www.newattitude07.blogspot.comI know you are probable thinking, "Oh, great. ANOTHER blog she wants us to bookmark!" However, New Attitude is just too big to fit inside one little blog or xanga post, so I have decided to dedicate an entire blog to this experience, and attempt to encourage the continuation of application throughout the coming year - even for those of you who could not come to the conference for whatever reason. I have also placed a link to the blog on the right, under "links".

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Wow. What a conference.

Never have I been fed with such great truths by so many blessed teachers.

God used this conference to bring to the surface many sins that I had been "stuffing" down in my life, and to bring to light many others that I had been oblivious to.

I have much to work on for the next year, but as C.J. Mahaney and John Piper said...(paraphrased and combined thoughts): "Growth starts by taking small steps, but being specific in your application, and realizing that it is only by grace that you can move foward."

Read my New Attitude blog for much more, and check back often, because I really haven't put much on yet - this being only the day following the conference's close.

Esther 4:14"For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

"For such a time as this..."

Each of us has been placed on this earth into unique circumstances. We each have different parents, different houses, different school situations, different groups of friends, different jobs, different churches, and different spheres of influence. And there has been no mistake made by God (who created us and loves us with an everlasting love) about where we now are. Sometimes we may wonder why we are who we are where we are...but God knows. He knows and has a bigger plan. It is up to us to use what God has given us and make a difference right where we are. You might think, "How am I supposed to make a difference? I'm homeschooled, and the only places I go consistently are church and home." or "I can't do anything...I'm too scared." Where is YOUR "kingdom"? If your "kingdom" is at home, and God has placed you there - it is your job to serve him however you can, right where you are. Washing dishes, mopping, mowing the lawn, encouraging siblings, fixing broken things...they are all tasks that can be done to the glory of God, and when we do these things for God, he will find ways to use them to bless others. Also, if you are placed by Him somewhere with a friend who hasn't had the Gospel explained to them before, you have 2 choices: 1.) You can talk to them about Jesus and risk whatever reaction they might have...OR 2.) You can ignore them. However, we are not indispensable to God. He wants to use us where he has placed us, but if we refuse to do what he has called us to do, he can find someone else to do what needs to be done...and think of how sad you would be, at the end of your days, when you stand before God and each action is taken into account...if it sounded like this:

GOD: "I made a way to get you to that dream job you had at the doughnut shop, so that you could talk to that guy - Frank - about me. I gave you opportunity after opportunity to speak with him, but all you were thinking about was making money. He was ready to commit suicide, and if you had told him about me, his life would have been completely turned around...but you didn't. And he was leaving from work one day, completely despairing, going to go home and kill himself, when I had to used Joan to run into him and begin telling him about me. He was changed that day - well done, Joan - but you really missed out on my blessings that time."

GOD: "I gave you hundreds of opportunities each day to bless your family members, but you were too concerned with your own cares - like the time when your brother was hurting. He was feeling really lonely, like he had no friends, and he just wanted company. He came over to see what you were doing as you typed away on your computer, and to just hang out with you...can you remember what you said?"

YOU: "Uh...I said...I'd rather not say in front of all these people...right now.

GOD: "You said, 'Leave me alone! Go away and stop looking over my shoulder. Don't you have something better to do with yourself?'"

YOU: "Oh...God!!! FORGIVE ME! I never thought of it that way then...how could I have been so blind?"

(Note: That last story above is true. I love you, Ben...more than you know - but I should probably let you know more often. God has given me the most special brother. If I ever do that again, just say, "How's your eternal perspective, Tai?" )

So, we can bless others and make an eternal difference right where we are. God has placed us with the relationships we have, and the things we can do for a reason...we just have to look past ourselves and see people for who they are: People just like us, whom God loves, and wants to forgive - he gave his life for them. And we must cling to His amazing grace - for, without Him, we are nothing more than dust, which the wind can blow away.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Last Sin Eater

Taiz rating for plot: 4.5 out of 5Taiz rating for cleanliness: 5 out of 5Taiz rating for creativity: 4.8 out of 5Taiz rating for a deeper message: 5 out of 5

Publicly Rated: PG-13(for violence and thematic elements)

This movie is one of those rare jewels of a Christian movie that is very well done. I began it last night not knowing what to expect. You can form your own ideas about what a movie is going to be like from the cover of the DVD, but generally (more often than not) mine are quite off. I thought that this might be a really "cheezy" movie with one of those thin plots that got done by a Christian film-maker just because it was Christian in theme...if you know what I mean. (Though, I must admit, I laughed a few times just at the term "Sin Eater" throughout the movie...I'm not really sure why.) The movie starts out with a rather confusing and mysterious scene...and actually, you don't really start to "get" the movie until half-way through. (ADVICE: Watch it ALL the way though before forming opinions about it, and it would probably be best to watch it more than once. I wouldn't reccommend reading too many reviews about it. I think this movie works best not knowing exactly what will happen next.) They worked it so that pieces of the puzzle are given to you early on, but they are pieces that don't make sense without the rest of the puzzle. I rather like movies like that, because they aren't as predictable. Here is the general outline of the movie: A little girl named Caddie is one of the Celtic immigrants to the Appalachians. The Celts have an old practice that requires a "sin eater" to come to the funeral of a person who has died and eat bread and drink wine laid on that person. In this way the sin eater (chosen by another ritual) would take all of their sins on himself, and assure that person forgiveness of their sins in the "after-life". It is against tradition to look at or touch the sin-eater. It is said that, if you DO look at him, evil will follow you always. However, at her grandmother's funeral, Caddie looks the sin-eater in the eye...and she is never the same. From that time on her past sins come back to haunt her, and especially a terrible sin that she has told herself was all her fault. She feels like she can't live with the guilt of this sin, and that she MUST find the sin-eater, so he can "eat" away her sins, and she can be forgiven - if he can't help her (since she's not dead yet, and traditionally, your sins can only be "eaten" once you are dead), she has been contemplating death. Her faithful friend, "Fagin" accompanies her on many of her searches, and at one point in the movie, the discourse is as follows: Caddie: "You don't have to go with me." Fagin: "Yes I do! I have to protect you." I thought that was great. :) Well, without spoiling the movie, I will say that, Caddie DOES find help from the mysterious sin eater...but not in the same way as she could have hoped.

The scenes that might not be good for little children include:

Caddie's dead grandmother. They show her after she has died. (They also show someone else after he has died, for a few seconds.)

The Sin-Eater is pretty creepy looking...he looks a bit like a ring-wraith from LOTR...so if they've seen that and didn't have nightmares, then they should be fine.

Fagin and a stranger get beat up by Fagin's father...several times. Very severely beat up (includes blood and big bruises). Fagin's father also almost strangles Caddie.

Caddie contemplates throwing herself off of a tree-bridge into a rushing river below several times.

Indians get shot.

So, to sum it up - I cried more in this movie and Facing the Giants than any other two movies that I have seen. It was a very interesting perspective on forgiveness and sin...and ended in a touching way.

It is a movie that I HIGHLY recommend for EVERYONE to see.

P.S. You may want the English subtitles on the first time you watch it.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Jamestown...and beyond!

Well, today at 3am (EST) was the end of a long journey (I'm thinking 7months) for many people - myself included. It was the end of Phase 2 of "The Jamestown 400 - Our National Treasure Hunt". "Treasure hunt?" You may think, "How silly!" But this treasure hunt (which has been mostly an online journey up to now) has taught me many things - and I am very grateful for the chance I had to participate in it - even if I am not one of the "lucky" 100 people who get to go to Jamestown to search for the REAL buried gold. The treasure hunt started out with a catologue from Vision Forum (www.visionforum.com) full of hidden clues, which led to several "Secret Websites". From there we began to unravel a plot of true dark deeds (Margaret Sanger *shivers*), some "made up" sinister characters (Burr), some of america's earliest mysteries (Roanoake Island)...but most of all, we got to see God's hand in the History of our nation. From John Smith, Elias Boudinot, Virginia Dare, Alexander Hamilton, George Washington, Hitler, and Margaret Sanger (*shivers again*) to The Culper Spy Ring, the Dare Stones, and codes, codes, CODES, God had a plan. I learned lots about encouraging others, and pressing on even when it felt like I was getting nowhere. So many times I felt like quitting - and felt sure I would never make it to the end. It seemed like I was wasting my time, and following the hard path was just too hard. But, thanks to others' encouragement, I pressed on. Encouragement is a powerful thing. I learned that at youth camp at last year, but it helps to be reminded of it often. Encouragement is like the grease on the gears of life - litteraly. Without encouragement, we'd all just run down and come to a standstill.

Hebrews 10:24-25"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

And, often, just when we felt like there was no right answer and that we would never find it - there it was! And we would never have made it had we quit just when we were feeling like nothing we did was turning out right...and had there been no encouragement to press on. It took many hours, aching fingers, bleary eyes, and, towards the end, pounding hearts...but it was worth it. I persevered, and I got to meet some cool people - we helped each-other out, encouraged each-other, and prayed together - who also persevered. We had our own little "Skype Chat" group, and had many humorous moments, as well as serious ones...especially when several of us still had 3 clues left to solve and only a half-hour left in which to solve them.

It is a necessity to mention that I knighted and "ladied" all of the participants whom I met...the list and titles follow:Sir Matthew the Wise and Chivalrous,Sir Joshua the (Good and )Fearless,Sir Daniel the Trustworthy Valliant Considerate Adventurer,Lady Melanie the Considerate (Lady Blake),Sir Randy the Jocular,Sir Nathaniel the Compassionate and PrudentSir Juan the Just,Senora Margarita the Gracias (Lady Margarita the Gracious),Lady Sophia the Gentle [Sir Joshua named me],Lady Melissa the Attentive,Sir Micaiah the GenerousChristopher the Honorable, our very finest paige!

Here is a rather odd (small) portion of our chat which I copied for your amusement (were were generally more serious than this...but sometimes the stress was too overwhelming and we couldn't help ourselves...oh, and you don't HAVE to read it all...but let me know if you do!!! haha!):

Monday, May 14, 2007

Right Where He Wants Us

"Suddenly"By: Superchic[k] She feels lost in her own life Treading water just to keep from slipping under And she wonders if she's where she's supposed to be Tired of trying to do it right Her dreams are just too far away to see how steps she's making might be taking her to who she'll be And suddenly it isn't what it used to be And after all this time it worked out just fine And suddenly I am where I'm supposed to be And after all the tears, I was supposed to be here She feels locked in her own life Scared of what she might lose If she moves away from who she was And she's afraid of being free There's a way she knows is right And she can't feel the things she knows and so each step she's taking Is a step of faith towards who she'll be And suddenly it isn't what it used to be And after all this time it worked out just fine And suddenly I am where I'm supposed to be And after all the tears, I was supposed to be here And here where the night is darkest black She feels the fear And the light is farthest back And through her tears She can see the dawn Its coming skies will clear And the light will find her where she's always been And suddenly it isn't what it used to be And after all this time it worked out just fine And suddenly I am where I'm supposed to be And after all the tears, I was supposed to be here

(Ok, well this was pretty much my first-ever watercolor painting, so it's not exactly what one would call "quality" (the sail is even going in the opposite direction of the waves...hehe!), but I know that God inspired it...and it's message is convicting and reassuring at the same time...and just happened to go with the theme of this post, so that is why I have placed it here!)

Well, God has been speaking to me lately on the same sort of topic through many different ways. Through wonderful people from our church, through the Bible, and even through the song I posted above.

It's hard not knowing what you are going to do next, after graduating. It's tempting to think that maybe God has forgotten about you, or maybe he didn't plan out your path well enough, and you've come to a dead end. It would be easy to lose faith in Him and begin to believe that he's not there. Sometimes it seems like I am sinking in the waves of life, and I am going to just keep on sinking...but what do you see in the picture above?

Do you think that the people in that boat are a little bit worried at this point? Perhaps ALOT worried?! If I was in there (ok...maybe I AM) I would be crying, probably thinking my life was about to abruptly end...wondering where God was - and why he didn't stop the storm. And, maybe believing that, since he wasn't stopping the storm, he didn't care about me and wasn't there to help me any more.

But we can see the hands tenderly and lovingly upholding the ship. The people in that ship aren't going anywhere He doesn't want them to.

However, when we are in that ship of life, we often can't seem to see past our own circumstances. We can't see past the waves and the lightning. We can't see those hands that are powerful enough to hold up the world, holding us.

In the darkness, we can feel unsure - afraid. It doesn't make sense...at the time, but God has us right where he wants us. One day we will look back with grateful tears in our eyes and fall to our knees in wonder and amazement...and thankfulness to our awesome savor - our closest friend - of this I am sure! When we THOUGHT we had close human friends, and that God was so far, we will see that, in reality GOD was the closest friend we ever had. He walked next to us every step of the way, he dried our tears, he set our feet on firm ground, he held our hands, he defended us, he taught us...he carried us.

Isaiah 41:10"Fear not, for I am with you;be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."Psalm 37:23-24"The steps of a man are established by the Lord,when he delights in his way;though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,for the Lord upholds his hand."