Thursday, September 29, 2011

Good and Bad

I've been struggling lately with feeling like a good person/mom. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mom. My kids probably watch more movies than they need to. While we have a quasi schedule, it's not like everyone's I see. I loathe giving baths, so I don't do it everyday (and I make Ben give them baths). We eat meat- and more than maybe some would like, but it's not the only thing we eat. My boys are CRAZY! They run away when ever they get the chance (why did Henry have to follow in his brothers footsteps!?). Grant's not in a pre-school and I've been slacking on my plan to do home school pre-school (we do things every now and then). I started working about 1-2 days a week. I probably sit in front of the computer more than I should- and I'm
trying to make sure I am only on it when the boys are napping/sleeping. I hate doing the dishes, and I'm not the greatest at cleaning things up right away. My personal scripture study and prayers have been at a low I'd rather not think about.

With all that said, it's not a pity party. I've been able to sit and think about things that I think I and our family do well. I LOVE doing laundry. I love the smell of clean laundry and I'm fairly good about getting it folded right away (I say this with two loads on my couch right now... hahaha). My home is not a disaster, but it most certainly looks like we live in it. And to be honest- I don't know how well I'd enjoy the "sterile" look of cleanliness- I don't know how mom's are able to keep such nice looking homes. Part of me thinks that something/one gets neglected. And while I have very crazy children, they have some of the best manners I've seen. And that IS a result of my trying to teach them something. In the morning, Grant says, "Good Morning, Mom! How are you?" Then I'll answer and he then says, "I'm doing well, thanks, how are you?" That makes me so happy. They always say please and thank you. They are great kids- crazy- but great. My husband is awesome. He loves me and he loves our kids, and all of us know it.

So the deal is this: no one is perfect. I'm the farthest thing from it- but I'm trying. I think it is important to be concerned about what YOU (me) are doing to be better, and about your own standing with the Lord. I feel guilty enough from my own conscience- I don't need other people judging me. And really- at the end of the day- I think what's also important is if you are worthy to go to the temple- AND if you are- are you going??? How many people spew what others should and shouldn't be doing- but then aren't attending the temple? Isn't' that what's most important? Isn't that we're all trying to be worthy to be a part of? Let's stop the judging (me included!!!!!!!!) and start making sure we are ALL at the temple as OFTEN as we can.

2 comments:

That first paragraph pretty much describes me to a T. Then you started talking about loving laundry, and you totally lost me. Haha. I feel the same way about a sterile home meaning I am neglecting other things. Having a clean house just isn't a priority for me, cuz I think it's more important to play with my kids and nap when I can and have hobbies. Life would suck if all I ever did was clean! It's funny though, cuz my mother-in-law told me that one of the things she regretted was not keeping a cleaner house. I can almost guarantee that will not be one of my regrets, unless my messy house destroys my marriage or something, which is probably what my mother-in-law is concerned about.

I love laundry, I hate PUTTING the clothes away (oh man... you should have seen my room last month- for the ENTIRE month!). I don't mind washing and folding (probably because it's an excuse to watch a movie or show... hahahahaha). And holy moly- I agree- the LAST thing I'll regret is my house (unless I end up on horders).