Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2001 14:26:05 +0800
From: Agnostic Lady
Subject: Denying Love Chapter One
From the Author:
Penning lesbian literacy has been a great pleasure for me, and I will
gladly welcome any comments about my works. Encouragement and demoralizing
criticism are equally welcomed. Do email me at agnosticlady@about.com.
Here comes the mind-numbing disclaimer:
The following story below is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,
and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are
used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
events or locales is entirely coincidental.
The story below can be freely distributed publicly so as credits are stated
clearly to Agnostic Lady. Also, sexual contents, female/female sex and
other relevant adult material are included in the story. Do not read any
further beyond this sentence if you (1), are under legal age (in your
country) or (2), do not favor such sexual material.
***************
Denying love
***************
By Agnostic Lady
"Honey, where are you? I've been here waiting since half an hour
ago," Ashley asks, feeling irritated by Christine's unpunctuality yet
again.
Christine is Ashley's girlfriend of 9 months. They met earlier that
year, at an AutoCAD seminar. Ashley, aged 25, works as a senior art
director for IDN, while Christine heads the Human Resource department at
3Com.
"Erm, I'm still at Grange Road. My meeting with Mr. Cunningham
dragged longer than I've expected. I'll be there in 5 minutes, ok hon?"
says Christine.
Not wanting to allow Ashley to flare up at her, she hung up
immediately. "Fuck... She should've at least called. Not even a word of
apology," thought Ashley angrily. Christine has a notorious reputation for
her non-existent punctuality amongst her friends. Holding such a high
position for such a mission-driven MNC makes it harder for Christine to
squeeze Ashley into her tight schedule. For the past few weeks, their
once-spontaneous relationship has been turning stagnant.
Ashley decides to get herself another triple espresso. "What the
hell am I going to do without caffeine and nicotine?" she wonders as she
pays the cashier at the counter. Ashley's vocation blesses her with
flexible working hours, since she works on project basis. However, with the
economy blooming profusely at this point of time, she is mercilessly
flooded with endless projects to meet the deadlines. Still, she manages to
get off work a couple of hours earlier to meet Christine, only to be
disappointed with her punctuality. "Well maybe I'm just being too
petty. After all, Christine didn't mean to be late. She's just a
workaholic." Ashley thought, feeling guilty for not being understanding
enough. Ashley is not one who can stay angry with anyone for long. She has
such a huge amount of human kindness; she can most likely be hailed the
next Mother Theresa. Until this day, Christine cannot comprehend why Ashley
channels 30% of her salary to her dad's bank account every month,
considering that she has been brutally abused by him as a child.
"That son-of-a-bitch deserves to die," Ashley remembers Christine
remarking, when she related her childhood after Christine enquired about
her 4-inch long scar embedded across her left hand.
Ashley's theory is that her dad is her only family left, having her
mum died in a car accident when she was a, tender, innocent age of
8. Ashley tries constantly to erase the emptiness she felt when her mum
left her. "Perhaps that's why I get so paranoid being close with someone. I
don't want to lose them." Ashley thought, as she rests herself comfortably
into one of the green chairs at the cafe.
After about another 20 minutes, Christine finally arrives.
"Hey, sorry for being late," Christine grinned sheepishly as she
laid her brief case on the table.
"Well you are not forgiven. You failed to inform me to multiply
your apparent 5 minutes expected arrival by 4," Ashley teases Christine.
"Wow, someone's flaunting her Math, I see," says Christine as they
embraced in a long, lingering hug.
"Man, I need a drink. Do you want another triple espresso?" asks
Christine.
"Nah, anymore coffee and I may get hypertension," replies Ashley as
her eyes scan Christine while she walks towards the counter.
"She's darn beautiful," Ashley smiles. 6 years Ashley's senior,
Christine towers over most women at 5'8". Clad usually in corporate wear,
she has crystal blue eyes and silky blonde hair that curtains to her
waist. Her best feature would probably be her smile. Her smile never fails
to convince the traffic police to let her off for speeding. And her smile,
without a doubt, is what Ashley is so in love with, physically. "When she
smiles, even paying taxes make you feel jovial," Ashley once claimed to her
friends.
Christine came back with a Grande hazel latte and a chocolate
brownie buried with a whopping amount of whipped cream dripped with rich
caramel drizzle.
"Your mannerisms for eating pastries disgust me," Ashley frowns as
she sipped on her last remaining drops of bitter espresso.
"Hey, I like my pastries like I like my life. Rich and sweet."
Christine shrugs.
"God is unfair. If my consumption for food is in anyway similar to
yours, I'd be auditioning for the female version of the Nutty Professor,"
laughs Ashley.
As Christine expected, Ashley's cute dimples emerged from the sides
of her porcelain-complexion face. What appeals so much to Christine about
Ashley is her personality. Inevitably, Ashley's good looks enhanced her
appeal to Christine as well. Being vertically challenged at 5'4" does not
deter Ashley's confidence in anyway at all. She has always been filled with
confidence in her work, and never fails to prove her worth to her
colleagues and bosses. Ashley is a Eurasian; her mother was Chinese while
her father is a Caucasian. Hence, her Pacific-Asian looks never fails to
turn heads. Ashley has short hair with color that changes according to her
moods.
"Ash, first of all, I can ensure you from personal experience that
you're not fat. And by the way, if you do weigh what the Nutty Professor
weighs, you think I'd be dating you?" Christine says matter-of-factly.
The couple chatted at the cafe for about an hour, before
Christine's mobile phone screamed through their eardrums and interrupted
their conversation.
"Hello? This is Christine Duncan," Christine answers, wondering
whom it could be.
Ashley stares aimlessly at Christine while she nattered on her
phone. "I am so sexually deprived. 2 months, Ashley, 2 months of celibacy,"
Ashley complains in her mind. For the last few weeks, Christine's workload
doubled and each time she meets Ashley, she's so drained out from work that
she couldn't afford a single ounce of energy left to satisfy Ashley's
needs. Ashley wonders how long more of Christine's hectic lifestyle can she
tolerate, before she has to do something to their situation.
"Huh? What?" Ashley's bowl of thoughts was burst by some words
Christine uttered.
"I asked if you'd like to meet this certain couple I know from way
back for dinner and maybe, drinks. They've just arrived in town last
weekend." Christine repeats, answering with what she expects Ashley to ask,
"And yes, they're dykes as well,"
Despite hoping that they would be spending some precious time at
her apartment alone, Ashley didn't protest, and instead, she agrees to
Christine's plans. "Love last, lust doesn't," Ashley tries to make her
sexual yearns vanish from her mind.
After Christine gulps down her Latte in one swift mouthful, they
head down to Les Amis, an exclusive restaurant where the prices are also
rather exclusive. Christine holds Ashley's hand as they were ushered by an
overly eager waiter to their reserved table at the dimmed corner of the
posh restaurant.
"There they are!" Christine claims in delight as she brisk over to
her friends.
"Hi, wassup? I haven't seen you guys for such a long time! Hey,
this is my girlfriend, Ashley," Christine almost sounds proud of having
Ashley as her girlfriend.
"Ash, meet Natalie and Sharon," Ashley hates introductions to say
the least. She finds them too superficial and pretentious. Nonetheless, she
kept that particular dislike to herself.
"Hello, how are you doing?" Ashley smiles pretentiously at
Christine's lethally attractive friends. Christine looks at Ashley and
grins. She is laughing inside, knowing that for a fact, Ashley never likes
introductions. Ashley's facial expression changes at the speed of light
whenever introductions are made for the very first time. Christine and
Ashley sit down at the table and the girls started to talk.
Natalie has prominent blue eyes that seem to be the windows to
Heaven and a Jennifer Lopez carbon copied body, including the firm
butt. Her dark brown is shoulder-length, and from the protruding biceps,
one can predict that Natalie works out a lot at the gym. "She probably do
tons of outdoors games," Ashley guessed as she studies Natalie's tanned
complexion while Christine updates her life with her couple of
friends. Christine starts to get excited telling Natalie about her
company's rumored merger with Microsoft.
"I heard from Christine that you're from Singapore as well,"
Ashley's analysis got intercepted with some words Sharon said.
"Did you ask if I'm from Singapore?" asks Ashley.
"Yup, cos I am," explains Sharon with a smile.
"What a coincidence!" Ashley amuses, "So am I, honey, how's
everything back there?" Ashley gets homesick every once in a while. She
spent her teenage years back in Singapore with relatives from her mother's
side, where the total population at that time was a mere 3 million. Despite
the size, she recalls having a splendid time growing up there. Right after
she graduated from LaSalle School of Arts 4 years ago, she returned to
Washington D.C., where the rest of her family are, and has not managed to
find time to visit Singapore.
"Things are great, our President is still alive and kicking,"
replies Sharon with a chuckle.
Sharon is glad she found someone from back home. She is getting
irritated by how an ignorant American would assume that Singapore is part
of China, or asks about whether chewing gum is really banned in the
country. Sharon didn't expect such a warm reception from Ashley when she
disclosed her nationality. Ashley struck her as someone hostile and
arrogant when they first met. Ashley suddenly feels guilty for her initial
coldness when she first got introduced to both Sharon and Natalie.
Ironically, Ashley didn't find Sharon very Singaporean at first. It is
evident that Sharon is Chinese, but her accent isn't very Singaporean to
her. Sharon is rather tall for an Asian. She stands at 5'6" with silky
jet-black hair that lingers to her buttocks. Being a health fanatic like
her girlfriend Natalie, she pumps lots of iron at the gym as well. Contrary
to belief that women who pumps iron look like men without the male
anatomies, Sharon is dangerously lean and at the same time, her delicate
features causes her to appear more feminine than she ever will be.
Christine finally stopped talking about her work, much to the
delight of Ashley, and suddenly, she realizes that they have been talking
for the last 20 minutes and haven't even taken their orders yet.
"Oh yeah, how forgetful can we get? Going into a restaurant and
forgetting the purpose of it. Man, we're getting old..." Natalie pretends
to be paranoid about it. The girls took their orders finally and before
long, their food came and the hungry girls showed their food no mercy.
"Dining is definitely not the most glamorous thing for a lady,"
Ashley claims as she struggles to slice her rubberized chicken.
"Sure, just because you resemble a pig when you munch does not mean
we do," Christine teases.
"Well look who's talking, lady with cream sauce on her lower lip,"
retorts Ashley. Sharon watches the couple as they poke fun out of each
other. She wishes her relationship with Natalie would be livelier, like
theirs. Before Christine could wipe the cream sauce off her lips with her
napkin, Ashley abruptly leans over and licks it off her girlfriend's
luscious lips. The unexpected public display of affection caused a few
raised eyebrows from other diners and even Natalie and Sharon stared in
bewilderment.
"Hello? You do happen to know that lesbianism is not a commodity
and the last time I recall, you guys hold rather high position jobs,"
Natalie blushes.
"Uh huh, that's why we can afford to do whatever we want," argues
Ashley, "If God forbids, than get him to see my lawyer," That statement
from Ashley triggered off an outburst of laughter. "Ashley is pretty
funny," Sharon thought. After another half an hour, the girls decided to
head down to a lesbian club namely "Taboo". Christine insisted on paying
for dinner and let Natalie and Sharon's protests fall into deaf ears.
They decide to head down to "Taboo" in 2 separate cars, one being
Christine's - a BMW z3, another being Ashley's - a Honda S2000 sports car.
Christine and Natalie decided to pair up while Ashley offered to "ride
Sharon,"
"Hey, watch your words, I'm a qualified butcher," warns Natalie
jokingly. With that, the girls departed.
"So how long have you lovebirds been together?" asks Ashley. She
has a certain liking for Sharon and her unexplainable appeal, but she is
not prepared to do anything for fear of complications she can't handle.
"About 3 years now," says Sharon.
"Wow, forget it, Ash. There ain't no hope for you," Ashley thought
to herself.
"How about you?" asks Sharon.
"9 months," Ashley replies.
"If you don't love me, lie to me, cos baby you're the one thing, I
believe. When the whole world comes between us, please tell me you'll be
brave, cos I can realize the danger, when forgiveness fades away..."
"Oh, alright. Is that Bon Jovi's "Lie to me" playing?" Sharon
asks. Sharon has been a closet Bon Jovi fan since they first established
themselves with big hair and leather pants 19 years ago. The craze for them
has fizzled out, thankfully, although Sharon still loves their old songs.
"Wow, you noticed!" exclaims Ashley. It's getting hard to find Bon
Jovi's fans these days. Most of the newborn fans are into Bon Jovi's latest
album, which is too manufactured for her own liking. Ashley and Sharon
start to talk about Bon Jovi, and they realize that they share the same
sentiments about the current band that no longer was the band they
were. Before long, they were talking about each other and their
girlfriends, and found that they share a lot in common. Ashley loves
rock-climbing, and so does Sharon. They both played in rock bands before,
when they were younger. "I can't believe a person as demure as you plays
the drums," Ashley remarks. "Well, demure my ass. You haven't seen me
behind closed doors. I walk as if I have a pair of balls," laughs
Sharon. Ashley laughs as well. "Well here we are, Taboo," Ashley says with
a slight hint of disappointment as she pulled up to the parking lot. Ashley
wishes she could have more time alone with Sharon, not to attempt to bed
her or anything, but simply because she is interested in knowing Sharon
better. In Sharon's mind, she secretly hopes she'd get more opportunities
to be with Ashley and just hang out. She realizes that beyond the ice-queen
facade, Ashley is actually quite a character to hang out with, and she
truly enjoys her company.
"Now that's a world record in the making! For the first time in 9
months, I'm earlier than Ashley Straight!" taunts Christine as they met at
the entrance of Taboo.
"Shut up, bitch. I took a wrong turn at 16 Street."
"You are so bad with roads, honey,"
"Actually, Ashley and I were late because we were making out 15
minutes prior to meeting you guys," Sharon jokes. "That's a thought,"
Ashley ponders secretly.
"Urgh!" exaggerates Natalie. "How could you, baby?! Why didn't you
invite me to watch?"
"You guys are so full of shit," says Christine, laughingly as she
ushers all of them into the club.
Alright, people! I hope you like what you've read so far. Do email any
comments to agnosticlady@about.com . I'd reply as much as I can. Thanks.
~Agnostic Lady