Right now I’m feeling a little pride. Just a tiddle. You see, the past 24 hours a funk hit me all of a sudden. I was a big grump. Who knows what set it off? Continuous lack of sleep ? Lack of exercise– other than moving and unpacking boxes? Over stimulation with coffee and social situations?Whatever it was, a nap didn’t fix it.

Actually, I’m still in this funk to a degree and I’m still feeling proud. I’ve used food to change my bio-chemistry all my adult life. Everyone does it on some level, some are just more conscious of it than others. Food is medicine, after all. Because I have struggled with biologically induced depression/anxiety for many years, comfort food that lifts my mood has been a constant in my life. (Bear claw pastries, coffee ice-cream, anything sweet & yeasty—yum!)

Don’t worry, this isn’t a lecture on the evils of sugar (that comes later, lol!).

So just now I mindfully ate a delicious shrimp stir-fry. No, it wasn’t homemade, and yes, it had a sweet soy sauce (What is not to love about a sweet chili sauces?). It also consisted of lovely vegetables. As I write this I wish I had more.

Before I made the stir-fry I was thinking: I’m hungry. I’m grumpy. Sugar! I could eat those Honey Nut Cheerios…is that what I really want? [open freezer]No! Let’s have shrimp stir-fry. Mmmm.

I really do talk to myself this way!

Now the back story is that the night before—a few hours into this funk—I did eat that sweet cereal and it was a good choice. I had eaten a little bit slowly and mindfully. Plus, it meant I wasn’t eating the last chocolate pop tarts hidden in the cupboard. (Did he really think I wouldn’t find them?!)

Yes, I know, I deserve a medal for willpower!

Not.

Why? Because it didn’t entail as much willpower as it did listening to all my hungers crying out—or whining in this case…

And yes, we applaud these small wins at BraveGirl because they add up.

So throw a party next time you honor other parts of yourself besides the part that wants immediate numbed out escape. And have compassion on your pain. It’s real and needs some true love.