Confessions of a Cursed Runner

Welcome. I'm here to tell you my tale, that of a cursed runner who’s trying desperately to complete a successful marathon. With two highly unlikely marathon finishes already under my belt, the quest continues for a finish I can be proud of… a finish under 6 hours. Please join me in my journey to the finish line.

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Monday, January 30, 2012

One word: "Ouch!" I CANNOT believe how different I feel from one week to the next. This week (hopefully just today), I am a HOT MESS. Turns out that running doesn't just stress your legs... I guess a strong back and core helps too. What happens when you have no such strength? Pain. Extreme pain.

Last night was spent tossing and turning. Even a heavy dose of ibuprofen was no match for my sore body. Poor body. The only relief? Sitting in my car on the way to work this morning. Why? Heated seats! It was like sitting on a heating pad for a solid 30 minutes. Everything felt better, from the top of my back, all the way down to my hamstrings. The only bad thing... I'm not allowed to work in my car, so my blessed heat therapy was limited only to my commute.

Fighting Through the Pain

While it's hard to see the good side of running when you feel like you've fallen down a flight of stairs, runners always seem to be willing to fight through the pain. I figure it's bittersweet—when you're hurting, it must mean that your body is getting stronger... right? Please tell me I'm right, or I might as well just lie down right now and take a nap.

Plus, it's not just getting through the physical pain. Learning to deal with it mentally is just as important. Let's face it—there is nothing calming or glamorous about running 26.2 miles. I should prepare myself now, because I've been at that finish line before, and there's not much pretty about it, except the medal.

Theme of Today—Hurts So Good

A wise man, we'll, a man, once sang:"Hurt so good
Come on baby, make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don't feel like it should
You make it hurt so good"

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

If
any first-time marathoner were to ask for my advice, I would emphasize one
thing—

TELL EVERYONE. The fact is that when making the choice to take on such an
enormous endeavor, it’s all too easy to start out with the best of intentions,
but slowly fade back into extreme couch-potatoeness (sure it’s a word).

The Power of a
Blog

As
you, a reader of this blog, can obviously see, I practice what I preach. Quite frankly,
I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen about my marathon training. Actually, let me
pause to formally apologize to those people that know me personally. I do in
fact realize that I never shut up about running, but I just can’t help myself.
All I ask is that you nod a little now and then, just so I know you’re at least
attempting to listen. I assure you that you will not be quizzed on my training
at a later date.

Confessions
of a Cursed Runner has offered me an outlet in which to share my feelings and
opinions on everything from my training program to what’s going on in my
personal life. Through my previous training, I know that as my mileage gets
heavier, and running takes up more and more of my time, both my running life
and personal life will eventually become completely coexistent. My
intention of this blog is to share my journey with as many people as possible,
allowing myself to remain focused and goal driven, without ambushing my
coworkers with tales of weekend long runs, which may or may not have been plagued
by blistered feet and/or chafed armpits.

My
hope is that if for any reason I bailed on this whole marathon thing, that
someone would eventually ask me why I haven’t blogged lately. There is
absolutely no way in hell, that after telling the amount of people I have about
running the Wisconsin Marathon that I would EVER say “I quit.” THAT is this
blog’s way of keeping me accountable. Not to mention the links to my complete
training schedule and exercise diary.

Finding a
Running Buddy is Key

Running
alone can be… well, lonely. By enlisting a training buddy, or being enlisted,
it ensures accountability between all parties. Basically, every time you feel
like quitting, you can envision a tiny little version of that person (angel or
devil style—your choice) sitting on your shoulder, giving you a proverbial look
of disappointment.

Trust
me, when you’re out at mile 7 of a 14 mile run, and you have to run through 20
feet of 2-foot deep water because your trail is flooded out, followed by
blistered feet and sore hips from trying not to run on said blisters, there’s
nothing more reassuring than knowing you’re not alone. Whether
your training buddy is by your side, or with you in spirit, there’s just
something in knowing that someone else is putting in work of equal difficulty,
and that your ultimate goal is to get across the finish line… together.

All
of this being said, let me introduce you to my running buddy for the Wisconsin
Marathon, and hopefully thereafter, Stina. Stina is an accomplished half
marathoner in my eyes, managing to take approximatly 30 minutes off of her PR in less than 2 year. To put it bluntly, she used to be slow, and now she's middle of the pack. And don't get mad,
I’m allowed to call her previous times slow, because I am still slow. Plodder’s
privilege.

Although
I’ve never run a half marathon quicker than 2:41:52, and she’s never run a full
marathon, well… ever, I think we’re the perfect pair to help each other achieve
our goals. If I can push her mentally, and she can push me physically, there
will be no need for the Heelys I suggested in our early discussions revolving around race strategy.

﻿

Hopefully
between Stina’s camaraderie, this blog, and my desire to not utter the word
“six” at the beginning of my marathon time, I’ll be able to hold myself accountable, and finish my
marathon in under 6 hours.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Now that that’s out of
the way, let me just say that week 2 was one hell of a week. Not just in
marathon training, but in life. This week was a fine example of finding the
balance in all aspects of my life, including family, friends, work, running…
and me. It’s so easy to forget that last one.

Tuesday’s
run went as planned, an easy 4-miler on my treadmill, where I was motivated by
watching The Biggest Loser. Cheesy I know, but it always makes me feel a little
better to see someone else working harder than me. It’s all about perceived
effort. Good thing that run went well, because it was about to go downhill very quick.

Unforeseen
Circumstances

Mid-day
Wednesday, I received a call that someone very close to me had to be
hospitalized. Out of respect for their privacy, I won’t go into details, but it
was someone I care for very much, so the whole thing definitely knocked me off my
game. Thankfully, that person was okay, and was able to be released from the
hospital late Thursday. By that night, they were back to feeling physically
normal. As for me however, my mental state would take a few days to catch up. The situation scared the hell out of me to say the least.

So…
no run on Wednesday, no run on Thursday… and Friday is my normal rest day. I’m
not gonna’ lie. When Friday afternoon hit, I had very little motivation for
anything, let alone a 4-mile run. I had been worn into the ground. THIS is why
I normally rest on Fridays. I don’t think I’ve ever left work thinking, “What a
long week. I think I’ll go running to exert what little energy I have left!”
It’s usually more like, “What a long week. I wonder if I already have a bottle
of wine open at home, or if I’ll have to exert what little energy I have left trying to open a new bottle.”

Getting Back on
Track

Even
though I knew it was going to suck (because I was exhausted), I laced up and
ran, bitching and moaning to myself the entire time. I’ve found that while most
times, a positive mantra will get you through tough times, sometimes a little
self deprecation is in order. I think I needed that time for me.

Saturday
got me back on track. I was feeling better emotionally, and feeling better
physically after my run the previous night. The only thing that could make me
feel better? Watching the Olympic marathon trials while running my required 7
miler. BEST PLAN EVER! I spent 1:36:00 watching the top runners in the U.S.
battle it out for 6 spots on the Olympic team. The race was great, with very
different race dynamics between the men and women. And who managed to take one
of the top spots? My favorite runner, Kara Goucher. I was ecstatic! I don’t
think I’ve ever smiled on my treadmill half as much as I did that day.

All
in all, I took a wildly emotional ride this week, but things have now leveled
out. I’m feeling positive and healthy, although a few extra hours of sleep
still couldn’t hurt. It’s time to shift the balance back into my life. Week 3
is looking up… way up.

Monday, January 9, 2012

I’m proud to say that I have successfully completed my first
week of marathon training. By “successful”, I should clarify that this did not
include throwing up and/or passing out. Yay me!

Week 1 in Review

Wow. I really should have been working out these past few
months. I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t be gasping for breath while running a
13:20 mile. With every step of every run, I just kept reciting my new mantra (that
I stole from someone, but can’t remember whom), “Progressive forward motion.
One foot in front of the other.”

In my training past, I’d always managed to catch my best
stride anywhere from miles 2-4. My mood would slowly roll up and down from
there, just like this hills I was running, eventually ending up somewhere on
the exhausted end if I’d done my job well. This time around, I’m experiencing
mood levels across the spectrum… and all in no particular order. “I’m so glad
I’m doing this,” “Ugh, my legs are killing me,” “It’s going to feel so good to get
that finisher’s medal,” “Why can’t I feel my face?”… and so on. To all of the runners
out there, you know what this feels like, but my problem was that this happened
on a 3-mile run. Looks like I’ve got a long way to go.

Looking ahead

This week was really tough, but I know that the longer I
train, the easier my pace goals will become. I have a history of slacking on my
training, but this time around, I NEED to make sure I’m following through. If I
can just stick with it, my training will get me to the finish line. It’s
comforting knowing that.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

January 3rd, 2012 marked the official kickoff of
my marathon training. By blending the Hal Higdon Intermediate 1 Schedule with
the personalized Runner’s World SmartCoach (the free one of course), I managed
to Frankenstein together a plan that’s tailored beautifully to MY schedule and
MY goals. Not bad if I do say so myself.

My weekly schedule works like this:

2
Easy Runs @ 13:20 min/mile (4.5 mph)

1
Race Pace Run @ 12:36 min/mile (4.76 mph)

1
Long Run @ 13:52 min/mile (4.33 mph)

1
Day of Cross Training

Week 1 (this week) starts out relatively slow, although it
feels more difficult than I’d like to admit. How difficult you ask? Difficult
enough for me to swap this week’s pace run for an additional “easy” run. I
figure that for the first couple of weeks, I can adjust my pace slightly, as
long as I’m getting in the mileage on my scheduled days. If anyone out there
would like to endorse this change of plan in the comments section below, I’d
greatly appreciate it. A little validation wouldn’t hurt.

I figure I can ramp it up a little bit each week. It’s not
as though I'm shooting for unattainable paces. I’m only training for sub-6 after all. I think that
by the end of January, I should be right on target. As for this week, it’s
three 3-mile runs, a 4-mile run, and a 6-mile run.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

With 2012 on the horizon, it’s time to leave my cursed
running past in the dust, and focus on bigger and better things… completing a
successful marathon. Historically, I’ve been plagued by a slue of unfortunate
circumstances in my races, including everything from inclement weather to
nagging injuries, but I’ll leave those stories for another day. Today I’m
focusing on the future, the success that 2012 will bring, and the good health that
running will ensure for the rest of my life.

When setting my running goals for 2012, I knew I had to be realistic.
I needed to select a race that would ensure my highest chance for success. And
so the research began.

For my chosen marathon, I had many criteria that needed to
be met.

1.No earlier than April 30th. Anything
earlier than this would not allow me enough time to train.

2.No later than May 13th. Although spring
in the Midwest is typically mild, unseasonably hot days can begin to pop up in
May, and that was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. As a side note, I’ve taken
that risk before, and it did not end well.

3.Not too hilly. Some hills are okay, but I’m not
up for killing my knees on terrain I’m not used to.

After a month of research, and many hours spent on running
websites, I had pretty much made my decision, but I was still a little up in
the air. Through the beauty of Facebook, I was able to ask some fellow
listeners of my favorite running podcast “Two Gomers,” their opinion, and the
Wisconsin Marathon was the hands-down favorite. Everyone said it’s impeccably
run, the weather is nice and cool, and that the scenery is beyond gorgeous making
its way up and down the shore of Lake Michigan. Plus, they’re “Serving up the
Cheesiest Marathon Ever,” with giant cheese-shaped medals… and for only $68.
Sold!

So its official—I will be running the Wisconsin
Marathon on May 5th, 2012 in Kenosha, WI. I will run it, I will
enjoy it, and I will finish it in less than 6 hours… even if it kills me. Wisconsin here I come!