More romantic than double fisting chocolate bars while riding a horse on the beach at sunset, but that's not why you're here.

Google Voice Transcription #1

I switched my voicemail provider to Google Voice a while back to try the transcription service. I’m never going back. Here’s my most recent voicemail.

Good evening everyone. This is your friendly neighborhood soup kitchen. So I’m calling to tell you thatit’s still raining outside, tomorrow. The buses of the district will be traveling as normal. But due to theexcessive amounts of rain, our drivers. I’ve been informed use extreme caution in the areas. We Are,Flooding is, but any of that busses cannot travel the road safely to pick up your child is normal.Please note that been informed not tourist the safety of all. If you have concerns about your childgetting to school. Please call your child’s respect to the school. And we will speak to you at that pointin time. Have a safe evening. We had a good weekend. Thank you.

This was a very informative message. Up until this point, I had no idea that:

We had a neighborhood soup kitchen

They can predict the weather, presumably with the help of a time machine based on the verb tenses

They provide a bus service

They are philosophers (“We are, Flooding is”)

They don’t like to drive on the roads

My child is normal

The busses pick up children AND tourists

If I call my child’s respect on the phone, the soup kitchen will answer