Monthly Archives: May 2017

I’m a little bit anxious right now because my partner’s in the hospital. In another country. He’s already been admitted and stayed last night. He sent me some pictures of the room he’s in and it’s pretty nice. He seems to be doing okay mentally though. I think he’s just ready to get it done. I don’t blame him.

I know he’s safe and all, but I hate not being able to be there for him when I think he needs me. I’m just happy that he’s getting it done so he won’t have to deal with the pain.

I don’t want to detail the specific details because, well, it’s not nice. I’ll say that affects his ability to move around without being in pain. Nothing sucks more than being in pain when you move around. (It also affects our sex life, but that’s secondary. I’d much rather him be able to move around than the whole sex bit.)

Our anniversary is coming up so I thought that I’d talk about how I met my partner. I probably made a post about meeting my partner a long time ago, but there’s no trace of it now since my database was deleted. I thought I’d write again.

We are one of the success stories from OkCupid. I sent him a message knowing that he lived about 70 km / 44 miles away. I didn’t really think, at the time, that he’d respond because I was so far away but we started chatting and hit it off quite well. I remember how excited I was when he’d send me a message or when he’d respond to the messages I sent him.

He wanted to meet up, but I was reluctant to meet up with new people. I finally said that I would meet him. When it came to the day to meet up for the first time, I was sick. I was sneezing and coughing everywhere and had a sore throat. But still, I wanted to meet him.

We met at Southern Cross for the first time. It was actually at the entrance of Spencer Outlet Centre. We decided to go to Hungry Jack’s for lunch and we ate there. It was a really nice connection. We like to laugh about meeting up at a cheap fast food place. (It’s nice to meet someone who likes junk like Hungry Jack’s and KFC as much as I do!)

I soon discovered that he went to the same university that I did, so that gave me a lot of opportunities to see him.

I have the feeling that I had chatted with him before the “first” time I met him. I don’t remember, but I am glad I met him, even if I felt like crap that day. If someone can accept me when I am sick and looking gross, then he’s worth keeping! I’m lucky to have such a really great guy. 🙂

My days and nights have been quite boring since my partner went back to his home country. It’s only temporary though and he’ll be back sometime late next month. It has taken a tremendous amount of control not to post something about how much I miss the guy.

I like to joke around with him telling him that I miss him because I have no one to cook for me, no one to do my laundry, and no genitals to grab (that aren’t my own). Of course, that’s not the only reason why I miss him. I actually really miss his company a lot. I miss having this guy next to me that radiates his love for me. (My radiance is a little harder for him to get, but it’s still there.) God, this is getting way too sappy!

I kind of knew that this little absence will be good for me but I thought that I’d be loving my solitude for a while before I really started missing him. In reality, I started missing him after I dropped him off at the airport and it’s been ongoing since.

Over the past few days, I really wished that he was here with me. I’ve had a rough few days and it took yesterday for me to finally get through it. I had a really bad day on Friday and got really depressed. On my way home, I was a mess but got to talk to J and he helped me feel a bit better. That’s all I really needed was just to hear from him, but it made me a bit more sad that he wasn’t around.

Soon he’ll be back and I am really looking forward to have my man back.

I will probably sound like a big baby in this post but I had to get even more vaccinations today. One of those vaccinations was the second dose of the one that caused me a ton of trouble last time. So that means that my posts might be a bit delayed for a while. Also, I had another that is known to cause joint stiffness too so I’m pretty sure that I’m in for a super shitastic weekend.
Still, I’d rather go through this than die.

After having to get all these again, I’m really second guessing my career focusing​ goals.

The result wasn’t what I wanted to see, but it’s something that I will have to deal with. I hopped on the scale and saw that I weigh 80 kg now. That’s about 176 pounds. I’m almost 6 feet tall at about 182 cm tall.

That means my body mass index (BMI) is 24.2. A BMI of 25 is overweight. I’m not an athlete and I don’t spend all my time at the gym. So it’s pretty spot-on that I’m creeping back up to that point where I am considered overweight.

My genes aren’t blessed with good health. A lot of family members have a lot of preventable health problems. In fact, my dad passed away as a result of his poor decisions relating to his health. Around that time, I decided I’d do what I can to take better care of myself. It went well and I got a lot healthier and bulkier, of course, a few years have passed and all the muscle mass and healthiness faded away.

So it’s back to doing something about it before I get too miserable or I’m forced to do blood glucose tests all the time.

It makes me sad, but I’m still young enough to do something about it before I just get bigger and bigger.

It’s been a few days, not even a week yet, since my partner flew off to India for a few months and it’s been eerily quiet and boring without him around. The last few days made me realise something though.

My past hasn’t been perfect where my relationships have gone from being monogamous relationships to open relationships and I operated okay like that. I would just re-condition my thinking where the people who I slept with are just ways to pass the time or friends that I could do sexual things with. I didn’t think too much about these people on a relationship-level. I didn’t get attached to them and when it came to the relationship that “mattered”, I found myself feeling a bit disconnected from it.

One of the things I did was while my partners were away, I’d spend a few days before planning to meet guys (and a few girls) when I was alone. I’d usually spend the period that my partner was gone hooking up with people.

What’s funny about this time is that I just don’t have the desire to meet new people. I really don’t. I don’t know if it’s just a result of me “growing up” or not, but I didn’t search for people before my current partner left. I do admit that I looked at people, but didn’t look for people. I find it really hard to do anything or think about doing anything with someone else (even though my partner said it’s okay). There’s just no need. There is no desire there. I think that’s a good thing because this is usually a good sign that I am happy being with someone.

There were moments at first where I thought that being “chained down” to one person is a nightmare, especially after have the freedom to do whatever I wanted with no repercussions. But now I am okay with it now after having it sink in that I’m getting married next year. (That was also hard for me to accept mentally too.)

So, I’m just waiting for him to get back. It’s not really a sex thing, but because I really feel and have felt that this guy cares about me. He takes good care of me and puts up with a whole lot of crap being with me. I really can’t wait until he gets back home but it’s really important that he enjoys his time at home and doesn’t think too much about getting back.

I guess that’s it for now. It’s weird being this reformed person but then again, it’s not so bad, really.

I’m fairly sure this probably should be a Twitter update instead of a weblog post, but I’m going to go for it anyway. I’m also not much of a tech writer, so please forgive me for coming across as a bit idiotic. In my daily life, I use multiple operating systems on multiple computers. I use Windows 10 mostly, followed by Mac OS, then Ubuntu. I use Windows 10 a majority of my work because it’s most dependable for me. My MacBook Pro and I are enemies. I hate that thing. It’s been excruciatingly slow since day one. What takes me 5 minutes to do on a Windows computer takes me about 30 minutes on that Mac. I just hate it and use it as a last resort. If I need to do something quick that doesn’t involve Adobe Creative Cloud apps, I use Ubuntu. A bit of a KDE flavor, I guess you could say. I can still get work done on it.

Now that I’ve given you that little bit of useless information, I will confess something. I’m writing this using on the Microsoft Edge browser. To me, it’s not so bad, but I’m one of those people who really likes the Google integration of Chrome since my small business uses G Suite.

There’s a reason I am using Edge though and it’s quite a hilarious reason. No one really wants to use Edge or Microsoft’s search engine, Bing, so they have to give incentives for people to use it. That comes in the form of earning points for doing web searches and using the browser. I think if it wasn’t for that, I honestly wouldn’t bother. I actually DO like Bing’s image search though, so it’s not so bad.

A little thing about those points that you earn from Microsoft is that I stockpiled over $60 in Skype credits the last time I was in Texas for three months. Back then, it was a USA thing, so I had fun using it and adding to my Skype balance. I came to Australia and well, they detected that I was in Australia and the point earning stopped. Recently, they brought the Microsoft Rewards system to Australia so I’m back to earning points. I thought that it’s a good time to give Edge a go and really, it’s not that bad. It feels a bit slower than the Webkit-based browsers, but it still gets the job done.

It makes me think what it would be like if Google incentivized their browser and searches. They don’t need to though because most people already use it but wouldn’t it be great to earn towards something like a Chromecast (which I already have so…)?

I just find it interesting is that the rewards system is pretty much the only reason why I use Edge and Bing. It’s just kind of weird that I’d do something like that but it’s a bit of a nerdy rush to see my points increase like they do. I’ll probably just keep adding to my Skype balance though I hardly ever use it. I’ve been thinking of just getting a Skype number and then I remember that no one ever calls me anymore so maybe I can just keep saving for something else. I don’t know.

Anyway, that’s it from me. It’s just something that was floating around in my head. 🙂 By the way, no one coerced me to write this thing. Seriously.

I’m a little sad right now because I’m spending the last few days with my partner before he heads off. I keep asking myself how I am going to handle him being gone for close to 2 months but we’ve been apart longer than that and we both survived that. I think he’s afraid that I’m going to starve to death or something like that.

My partner thinks he’s going to come back and see the kitchen like this, I’m sure. (No hoarding tendencies here.)

He’s also afraid that I’m not going to clean while he’s gone and will leave mountains of clothes everywhere. I think he thinks that he’s going to come back to something that looks like what you see in the picture.

He has nothing to worry about. I do admit that I have a bad habit of putting my clothes in a pile in the floor when I’m done with them. I’ve always done that, but they’ve always been a small pile, not something that reaches the ceiling. Thankfully, my mother made me into this person who can’t stand living in mountains of garbage around me. When I was a bit more depressed, I did let things get a little bad, but nothing like what he’s expecting.

I am thinking there’s a pattern though where my partners worry that I’m going to paint the walls a terrible color, forget to turn off the stove or heater for days, or let Pico (my bird) fly around to poop on everything. I do okay by myself. I probably don’t eat as well as I should, but I plan on getting back to the gym while he’s gone. I’m getting a little chubby in the gut so I need to fix it soon before it gets too big and I grow man titties. I don’t like man titties. I don’t need man titties.

I am still just checking on the possibilities of going to India, but I’m torn in between going only to spend a few days there, or just using the time to better myself.

There are days that I struggle to get up in the mornings. That’s usually because I don’t get enough sleep the night before. I am a terribly light sleeper so the smallest noise wakes me up. A couple of mornings per week, I have to wake up at around 4 am and that’s usually when the temptation to stay at home strikes me.

Well, I’ve done that too much and was told today that some of the days that I was going to take off have been taken away. If I miss these days, then I’m going to be in big trouble.

So…

Yeah, disappointing. I have been doing a lot better getting myself up, but the travel to work and class is killing me.

I’ve written a few posts about my upcoming marriage BUT there are a few little misunderstandings that have to be cleared first before I publish them. I don’t want to post something that sounds like a ton of bitching and complaining, or that I am attacking my partner for not being agreeable with me. The conflict is mostly about the when. We can’t really move forward until we get this sorted, so why share all my thoughts now if I don’t know when? Right? Right.

Originally, I didn’t want to do something big, and I still don’t, really. I do want to do something special and I want to do it at my favorite time of year. Unfortunately, that favorite time of the year isn’t his favorite time of year. I would be quite disappointed if it didn’t happen then. I had to take a break from planning it to accept that I might not get my way.

Time will tell though. I don’t really want to be angry and I don’t want him to be angry, so there is some communication that needs to happen. Maybe I’ll fix those posts up once I figure out some little details. This is what happens when you are dealing with two stubborn people.