And you thought that whole Is-Chicken-of-the-Sea-really-chicken? moment was the craziest thing Jessica Simpson’s ever said!

BBFs, prepare to be amazed: On the Wed. April 28th episode of The Ellen DeGeneres ShowJessica Simpson actually admitted to Ellen that she doesn’t brush her teeth every day — in fact, she only polishes her pearly whites “maybe three times a week. I don’t brush them everyday. I’ll use a shirt or something.”

But wait, there’s more! Jess actually has a rationale for why she can’t brush, like every other human, twice a day: “They are too slippery. I need a little coating.” Ms. Simpson, I’ve come to learn you just can’t stop talking or Tweeting about your bodily fluids and functions (including your ear’s effluence) but seriously, now. You’re just BEGGING us to check out your grimy, filmy teeth!

She claims to have very fresh breath though — nice to know! “I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday. It’s really weird but I have great breath.” John Mayer, Tony Romo, Nick Lachey — any of YOU care to share?