Fresh on the heels of its reality show “Kid Nation,” in which children are sent to perform hard labor on a ranch with no adult supervision, CBS announced today that it is readying a reality show in which children will be sent to the federal detention camp at Guantanamo.

The satirist writes that, in what some political observers are calling an ominous sign for his cash-starved White House bid, Republican presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., today posted his campaign bus, The Straight Talk Express, on the Internet auction site eBay.

The satirist reports that Vice President Dick Cheney, having briefly assumed Bush’s duties while the president underwent a routine colon procedure June 21, told reporters the next day that he “enjoyed the downtime immensely.”

This satirical report says millions of immigrants are seeking an amnesty deal like the one given to the man they revere as “El Libbre.” Who knew Libby would become the hero of America’s undocumented worker population?

In a move that raised eyebrows among observers of the 2008 campaign for the Democratic nomination for president, Sen. Hillary Clinton today sent former Vice President Al Gore a gift basket laden with high-calorie treats.

The satirist jokes that George W. Bush, recognizing Paul Wolfowitz’s uncanny ability to blow it, has decided to appoint the former Iraq war salesman and World Bank scandal magnet as the president of al-Qaida.

Just days after their hard-partying antics made headlines across Argentina, the twin daughters of President George W. Bush arrived in Iraq today, determined to continue celebrating their 25th birthday as only the Bush twins can.

In yet another setback for President George W. Bush, his father, former President George H.W. Bush, appeared in the Oval Office today and demanded that his son give back the keys to the White House at once.

The satirical columnist reports that Bush’s task was complicated by the fact that many of the streets that Mapquest displays for Iraq have not existed since the United States began bombing the country in 2003.

The political satirist reports that the patient asked to be made unconscious again after realizing that the person he was seeing on TV was the real president of the United States, not a “Saturday Night Live” impersonator.

“The question ‘What does Kim Jong-Il really want?’ was definitively answered today when the mercurial North Korean dictator offered to abandon his nuclear weapons program in exchange for the role of the villain in the new James Bond film.”

Stephen Hadley, Bush’s national security advisor, told reporters about North Korea’s missile launch, “Obviously, it is a bit of an effort to get attention, perhaps because so much attention has been focused on the Iranians.”

This reminds us of a classic Andy Borowitz article a few years back that said something to the effect of “Kim Jong Il Wants to Know What It Will Take for America to Bomb His Country and Put It on the Map.” Can anyone find that link?

The political satirist reports: “The election of former Vice President Al Gore to the White House could result in a disastrous phenomenon called ‘global boring,’ in which millions of people around the world would fall asleep in an unprecedented narcoleptic pandemic.”