Blackouts? *Update*

We found out DH (dear husband) has Autism and ADHD around the same time ODS was diagnosed. He is high functioning and has been able to maintain a job with the help of his ADHD medication. Most of his ASD traits aren’t extremely concerning and we have just learned how live with, but there is one that if it is what I think it is, would be extremely concerning. It seems he may be having some sort of blackouts, I don’t know how frequently, but on more than one occasion things have happened and he has absolutely NO recollection of it. For example, on multiple occasions he has received a ticket which involves a police officer pulling him over, explaining the ticket and the required proceedings and him driving away with a written ticket, and on multiple occasions, he claims that he did NOT get a ticket. He does have a history of being a pathological liar, which his therapist claims is due to his brain trying to overcompensate for his ADHD (not sure I believe that) so I always have to take everything he says with a grain of salt, but in this particular case, I think he truly believes he never got a ticket, like he didn’t recall the incident AT ALL. Is this an ASD thing? Could it be an ADHD thing? He has not been taking his medication for several days, but he got the ticket several months ago and never mentioned it. I’m going to call his psychiatrist in the morning and schedule an appt and go with him, but has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

*Update*

DH's psych. was able to fit us in yesterday. She said it could either be mini seizures or amnesia. She's referring him to a neurologist for testing.

How often does this happen? Does it happen with other things that aren't ...

Posted
09/04/2018

How often does this happen? Does it happen with other things that aren't negative? If not I'd be more inclined to think he's lying...

Yes, but I always attributed it to his ADHD. He doesn’t listen and doesn’t remember anything. Which is frustrating, but I’ve learned to overcompensate for by constantly reminding him of everything. But my concern with this is it happened while he was driving... and he drives our kids to school and therapies. He and our son both have like a spatial delayed response (I don’t know if that could have anything to do with it) DS (dear son) is working on that in OT (off topic) but DH (dear husband) wasn’t diagnosed til he was in his 30s and never had any therapies and at this point his psych. says insurance won’t pay for therapies at his age. I don’t even know if therapy would help if we were to find someone who would see him if we paid out of pocket...

Idk...maybe and a big maybe when he gets super stressed he does black out. L...

Posted
09/04/2018

Idk...maybe and a big maybe when he gets super stressed he does black out. Like he just can’t function and isn’t really in the moment so he creates an alternate senerio?

That’s really all I can think of. But with someone else actually diagnosed him as a pathological liar I would be tempted to go that route.

Honestly either way he needs to see someone to get to the bottom of this and get answers. It’s not healthy for him or you for that matter.

Hugs this has to be stressful with everything else you have going on.

Thanks, yeah I was thinking that could be it... I don’t know, it’s so hard to tell. He tends to go into this mode of covering things up like a little kid who doesn’t want to get in trouble with his mom. So I don’t know what’s real and what’s made up with him a lot of the time... but with this, I don’t think he’s making it up. It’s happened before to the point that his license was suspended because he didn’t pay a ticket he swore he never got, and we had to jump through hoops and pay a fortune to get it back. I’d think he would know better than to let that happen again.

Yes, but I always attributed it to his ADHD. He doesn’t listen and doesn’...

Last edited
09/04/2018

Yes, but I always attributed it to his ADHD. He doesn’t listen and doesn’t remember anything. Which is frustrating, but I’ve learned to overcompensate for by constantly reminding him of everything. But my concern with this is it happened while he was driving... and he drives our kids to school and therapies. He and our son both have like a spatial delayed response (I don’t know if that could have anything to do with it) DS wasn’t diagnosed til he was in his 30s and never had any therapies and at this point his psych. says insurance won’t pay for therapies at his age. I don’t even know if therapy would help if we were to find someone who would see him if we paid out of pocket...

I think this is an asd trait. You should find a therapist who specializes in treating adults with asd. I think it’s a coping mechanism. Dh blacks out under stress. How does your Dh handle stress?

I think this is an asd trait. You should find a therapist who specializes in ...

Posted
09/04/2018

I think this is an asd trait. You should find a therapist who specializes in treating adults with asd. I think it’s a coping mechanism. Dh blacks out under stress. How does your Dh handle stress?

Thank you! He does NOT handle stress well, he completely shuts down. He had these monumental red flags before ASD was ever on our radar. He either completely shuts down when emotions are high and literally will not respond and has left several jobs due to blowing up and storming off. He has major emotional regulation issues, DS (dear son) does too but he is in therapy. DH (dear husband) never had any therapies.

He has a mental health therapist and went a few times after dx but he stopped going and I stopped pushing because I didn’t think it was really beneficial (that particular therapist wasn’t any good.) I think he could benefit from therapy, but he needs someone who’s going to call him out on his crap, the guy he was seeing did say something about his lying being attributed to his ADHD (so him using it as a coping mechanism does make sense) but he needs someone who’s going to help him work through that not condone it.

I think this is an asd trait. You should find a therapist who specializes in ...

Posted
09/04/2018

I think this is an asd trait. You should find a therapist who specializes in treating adults with asd. I think it’s a coping mechanism. Dh blacks out under stress. How does your Dh handle stress?

I don’t want to disclose too much for dh’s privacy but he’s in a position in which he cannot “black out” under stress when he’s at work. He often comes undone at home and has more frequent episodes of forgetting or misremembering because he can’t deal with stressful events after he’s been holding his stress for the duration of training. He lies to cover wrong doing as well, thank goodness nothing too serious. There is a solid difference between the two.

I don’t want to disclose too much for dh’s privacy but he’s in a positi...

Last edited
09/05/2018

I don’t want to disclose too much for dh’s privacy but he’s in a position in which he cannot “black out” under stress when he’s at work. He often comes undone at home and has more frequent episodes of forgetting or misremembering because he can’t deal with stressful events after he’s been holding his stress for the duration of training. He lies to cover wrong doing as well, thank goodness nothing too serious. There is a solid difference between the two.

I don't think DH (dear husband) experiences this, but my brother does/has in the past. DH (dear husband) doesn't have ADHD on top of his ASD, but my brother does. I always thought it was an ADHD thing... Meds seemed to help it more than anything. There were times when Brother was seemingly completely unaware of what he was doing. I could interrupt him and he would literally be surprised by what was happening.

We haven’t tried. He could never have an asd diagnosis for his job. It’s a shame because he’s qualified in every other way and he’s damn well earned it. He’s military and has been beaten into a rigid set of rules, expectations and structure since he was 18. If not for the military, idk who my husband would be today. Hate to sound like a recruitment commercial but, it’s true. That’s been his therapy. The aggressive, defiant, boy described to me by his mother is no longer there. However, he does have these “blackout” episodes when extremely overwhelmed and he continues to lie to cover up failures as he’s never dealt with his negative self-image.

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