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This is the first post of an exciting regular feature I’ll be doing here at Redeeming the Days Blog. On Fridays, I’ll be featuring a foster, adoptive, or support family. There are so many families who are following God’s calling in adoptive and foster care, and I am so thankful for them. I hope that these posts can be a bright light for all of us that the body of Christ is not only still there, but we are active in glorifying God in the area of orphan care.

Feature Family Friday: Get a glimpse into the life of a real family fostering, Fridays at Redeeming the Days.

For my first post, I’m so happy to have had the opportunity to interview my good friend, Caitlin Fitch. I met Caitlin in our CALL training back in September of 2014. Of course, the first day, everyone is just kind of checking out everyone else…well…that’s what I was doing anyway. When I saw Caitlin, I was really confused. She was young, beautiful, and by herself. I didn’t know what she was doing there, but I knew that I wanted to find out. Over the course of the training, I realized that Caitlin was a single young lady there because she has a serious love for Jesus and a passion for hurting children. She was training to be a single foster parent.

Caitlin is one of those people who walks into a room and lights it up. Her humor and kindness is unmistakable. You know that it is Jesus shining through her. I am so excited to get to feature her journey today, and I hope that you will enjoy reading about this courageous young woman!

Feature Family Friday: Get a real life glimpse into the life of a foster family…Fridays on Redeeming the Days.

Caitlin lives with her “fur baby” Tate in Central Arkansas. When I asked her if she was foster only, adopt only, or foster-to-adopt, she replied,

“Foster, completely willing to adopt. Despite the lies Satan tries to tell me…that no one will ever want to marry me if I adopt. All that is a load of bunk, God has a plan. A bigger plan. And I’m ready for it!”

{Can you see why I love this lady?}

When and why did you make the decision to foster?

“You know, I always knew adoption was in my future. I was raised in a home that had a huge heart for orphan care. Last March, I went to Peru on a mission trip and the Lord stirred my heart up all over again. When I got home, I asked the question ‘Why can I not do this? What do I have to wait on?’ and just clear as day, I heard God say, ‘When have I ever asked you to have all your stuff together before you follow me?’ and just like that I signed up for the informational meeting.”

How many placements have you had in your home so far?

“Two, a 3 year old boy from February 26th-March 17th, and two girls now from April 1st-current.”

What has been the hardest part about fostering?“I feel like that is such a hard question to answer. I would say the emotional toll and grieving you do on behalf of these kids has to be the hardest-everything from the losses in their life, the relationship between you and DHS and how much more you want people to care for your kid, the looks you get from people, all of it…it’s just hard emotionally.”

What has been the best/most rewarding part about fostering?

“I spent a week in the hospital at the beginning of July with my foster baby. During that week her sibling had to be away from me and stay with several different foster homes. The day my friend brought her home to me I watched out the window for her and when I saw her get out of the car, I opened the front door…she started running towards me…crying and screaming, ‘Mommy!! Mommy!! Mommy!!’ It was just too much for my heart to handle. Knowing I am something to this little bug is worth everything.”

When I asked Caitlin what advice she would give to others considering fostering or adoption, she had some great nuggets of truth. She said that when you are considering this big step, you have to identify and put aside every selfish thought. You have to put aside the fears of getting attached, loving them, and letting them go, and you have to listen to the tiny voice in your heart that says that it is all going to be okay. I think that is great advice. When you are thinking about adopting or fostering, there will be one million voices in your mind telling you NOT to do it. But the only voice that matters is God’s. What does HE want you to do? Do you trust HIM to take care of everything else?

Although single foster parenting might not be something that you’ve heard of before, it’s actually something that is very much needed. Many foster children enter the system due to abuse, most of the time, at the hands of a live-in male in the home. Because of single foster moms like Caitlin, these children are given time to heal and learn to trust again.

I have been watching Caitlin care for her “babies” now since February, and I’m so blessed by her heart. She has had a couple of stays in the hospital now with sick kiddos, and she treats them no differently than I treat mine. She stays by their side, worries about them, holds their little hands, kisses their cheek, and wipes their tears. And then, sometimes, she hands them back to Mom and Dad. And then, she trusts God in a whole different way.

This is the process that foster parents everywhere go through. It’s recklessly loving a child, investing all you have in them, crying for them and with them, and then sometimes, giving them up and trusting in God’s plan for them. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Would you join me in praying for Caitlin right now?

Father, I thank you so much for Caitlin.

Thank you for her heart, for her passion for hurting children.

Thank you for calling her to this incredible work.

Thank you for equipping her.

God, we ask that you give her patience, compassion, and strength for the days ahead multiplied exponentially to care for these sweet children.

We ask that you complete the work that you began in her. We ask that you hold her future in your hand, and we give you the praise and the glory for the fruit in her life. Thank you, Father.

In Jesus’s Name, Amen.

**This is the first in a regular series of Feature Family Friday posts. If your family fosters, has adopted, or offers support for orphan care in some way and you would like to tell your story, I want to help! Please e-mail me at deanadwood@yahoo.com **

To learn more about foster care or adoption in Arkansas, click on the links below:

A free printable to guide your child through their own individual quiet time.

For the past three years, my kids and I have met each morning in the living room for Bible Time. And we have loved every minute of it. Over the past three years, our time has grown from 10 minutes a day to an hour simply because we really do love it. This year, while I still plan to do a group Bible Time, I am going to be requiring my boys to do an individual Quiet Time for the first time. With the girls at school, there’s actually a good chance that the “quiet” part can actually happen this year!

I think that establishing a Quiet Time routine is an essential practice for the Christian life, so I’d love for my boys to get started early. I plan on easing into this, probably having a Quiet Time one day per week, and then growing it to a daily practice slowly as we go. I wanted my boys to have something to guide their time with the Lord, so I made this little printable for them, and I wanted to share it with you too.

The idea behind the printable is to forget about complete sentences and proper grammar, and just get the thoughts down, so I’d encourage you to go through the page with your child the first few times and model this. For reluctant writers, I would recommend one word phrases…just enough to recall their memory later. There’s also extra space on the page for artwork, doodling, and extra notes-all of which I feel are important for children (and us grown-ups too!).

I’m so glad to be able to share this printable with you! I’d love for you to share it with your friends as well. I’ll give you all an update on how our quiet time is going in a few weeks!

I looked down to find my sweet, five-year-old daughter proudly holding up two pieces of oddly cut, glued together pieces of paper. No less than 20 googley eyes were scattered about, and the purple disappearing glue…well, let’s just say the purple only disappears when you use a thin layer. But she was so proud. “It’s lovely!” I exclaimed, “Would you like for me to hang it up?” I asked. “Yes, please,” she beamed. She had created this masterpiece with her own hands and to her, it was absolutely perfect. You see, no one has ever told her that her artwork was not perfect. No one has ever critiqued her creativity, so all that she knew was the beauty of her work coming to fruition.

Our definition of beauty today is so tainted. Our definition of beauty is one of conformity. The sad thing is that one day, my sweet Hannah’s artwork will be critiqued. Someone will tell her that what she made isn’t good enough. That it should be more like everyone else’s artwork. And she will probably listen to them. And her artwork will begin to look more and more like everyone else’s art. While there is some beauty to that in art, there is also a sadness and a loss…a loss of her as an individual and what she was created to bring to the world. We tend to believe that art is only beautiful if it’s similar to something we’ve seen before.

Doesn’t that also remind you of the way we view our own beauty? If we don’t look like (insert celebrity), we don’t see ourselves as beautiful? Why do we do this to ourselves?? Do we not realize how much God put into creating us?

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

-Psalm 139:13

When I think about God creating me so carefully in my mother’s womb…every last detail with perfect precision…down to the color of my eyes, the prominence of my chin, the birthmark on my shoulder, the slit in my eyelids….why, oh why, am I so critical of His creation?

On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make me like this,” will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?

-Romans 9:20-21

I don’t believe that God creates any of us to be ugly. I believe that just like my precious Hannah, he views each of his creations as absolutely beautiful. With that in mind, maybe it’s OUR perception of beauty that is the problem, rather than the reality of our bodies.

Whose definition of beauty do you want for your life?

So let’s think back for a moment…if you struggle with your perception of your beauty…who told you that you were not beautiful? Either directly or indirectly? Why does this person/people have so much influence in your life that they can convince you that God’s handiwork in your life isn’t good enough?

I’ll never forget the moment…it’s one of those “core memories” that I think will stay with me forever… I had just given birth to my third child, Lydia, and in my opinion, I was at my worst physical appearance. Not only was I heavier than I had ever been before, but I was also wearing sweatshirts and yoga pants on a daily basis, my hair was thrown up most of the time, and I only wore make-up to cover the enormous bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. I felt so ugly. One evening, I was at church doing my usual thing…watching the kiddos playing outside…when a woman who I viewed as just beautiful came up beside me and we began talking. I can’t remember the conversation exactly, but I remember the phrase that struck me…she said, “Yeah, but you’re just so tall and beautiful, Deana. I’m nothing like you.” I think my jaw hung open for a good 30 seconds. I couldn’t even continue the conversation. Here’s this woman, who I held in my mind as beautiful…telling me that she was insecure, and thought that I was so tall and beautiful. What an epiphany moment for me.

That’s the moment that I realized that we ALL struggle with this. We ALL think someone else is better, prettier, cuter…and you know what it is? It’s just a way to take our eyes off of our real mission, which is glorifying God. This is the big roadblock that Satan sets in front of women of all ages to keep us from building meaningful relationships with each other that lead to sharing the gospel.

So it really boils down to this: whose definition of beauty do you want for your life? God’s definition or the world’s? If you want God’s definition, you’ll experience freedom in this area. If you want the world’s definition, you’ll forever live in bondage to others’ perception of you.

God created you with HIS OWN HANDS. He knitted you together HIMSELF. There is no one else in this world that is exactly like you. THAT, my friends, is beauty, and guess what? You have it.

This is Part 3 in a series on Self-Image. To see the first two posts, click the links below:

I really loved this moment in Wreck-It-Ralph when Ralph finally said the “Bad Guy Affirmation” and meant it. If you’ve seen the movie, you know that Ralph played the “villain” in the Fix-It-Felix video arcade game. He felt really sad about that most of the time…after all, he was actually a pretty big-hearted teddy bear type who just got the bad end of the deal…but finally, at the end of the movie, he came to this realization that he was who he was made to be….and that’s okay. It didn’t mean that he was worthless or unwanted. He had finally found peace in himself.

In my previous post, we talked about how we aren’t perfect. We aren’t good. No good can come from us until we are redeemed by believing in the work of Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection and allowing that truth to transform us from the inside out. This is a hard truth for us. It’s uncomfortable. I told you in my last post that in this part, we would be talking about keeping in check the thoughts that plague our minds daily…the thoughts that constantly pop up saying, You aren’t good enough…If you were just a little thinner…If you were just a little more blonde…If you were just….

Like everything else in life, we practice godliness. Notice that I didn’t say practice for perfection…but we do practice these things for growth and maturity in Christ Jesus. I want to make it clear that I’m not presenting these things as a quick “Five Steps to Confidence and You’ll Love Your Body”. Nope, these things take time. Like I said before…it’s a process. But, if you practice these things, you will grow, and you will begin setting your mind more on God and less on your perceived shortcomings. Let’s begin with scripture:

When your mind is set on God, it’s hard to be critical of His creation.

“If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.”

-John 15:19

You are not of this world, so the world will hate you. They will pick you apart. Have you ever noticed that rarely does anyone ever over-criticize a non-Christian celebrity? That’s because those people are of this world, so the world loves them. It seems as though the people who speak out the most against Christianity are the people that the world cheers for the loudest. This is no surprise, by the way. God knew that would happen and he told us that in His word (John 15:19). But as a Christian, you have to remember that this world is not your home. You were chosen out of this world to be different. Your mind is set on eternity (and always remember that this life is a mere speck of time on the timeline of eternity). The world will hate you because of what you stand for, what you believe in, and because of what you have in the Lord (the fruit of the Spirit, Gal 5:22). It won’t always feel good to you, but knowing that truth makes all the difference in being prepared to handle it.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

-Romans 12:2

Do not conform to this world. This is quite possibly the hardest part, because this requires a complete rejection of the world and everything the world stands for. Don’t fall for the world’s definition of beauty. (That’s Part 3!) We are called to be different, to be set apart, to be holy. As we grow in our knowledge and love of the Lord, we are transformed. But if we continue filling our minds with worldly things, it will be difficult for us to truly allow God’s work to be done in our lives. Things like having a bad self-image will tie us down and cause us to take our eyes off of what God wants to do through us. If you look like the world, (i.e. if you look like everyone else around you, including your clothes, your actions, and your speech), you are conforming to the world’s standards, not God’s and you can expect to never be happy with yourself. Pray about how God wants YOU to present yourself. Don’t set your standard by everyone else.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” -Matthew 6:25-26

Practice Contentment. Yeah, you didn’t know that contentment was something else you had to practice huh? We practice the disciplines of godliness, because they don’t come to us naturally. Practice being content with yourself. Practice not worrying about what you will wear. For one week, commit to wearing only two outfits. Simply the practice of not thinking about what you will wear will begin to take your focus off of materialism and on to God’s transforming work on your life. Another great thing to do is every morning when you look in the mirror, say a few nice things about yourself in place of the criticisms you used to say. It might not be easy to find at first, but it will get easier the more you practice it. One of my favorite things to do is to stick post-it notes with scripture on my mirrors. That way, I can think about scripture and work on memorizing scripture while I get ready. When your mind is set on God, it’s hard to be critical of His creation.

4. Get your mind under control. If you are anything like me, your mind can go from zero to a hundred in 2 seconds flat. You can start with, “What is that on my face?” and within five minutes, you’ve decided that you’re too tall, too big, too clumsy, too frumpy, and too freckly. See how fast your mind can run amuck? But we don’t have to live with an out-of-control mind. We are told to bring our mind into obedience to what GOD says about us.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. -2 Cor 10:5

This was one of the first verses I ever intentionally memorized. I chose this verse because it helped me to train my mind. I realized that I was in control of my mind, not the other way around. It was my job to decide what I would dwell on, and it was my job to stop any thought that set itself up against what the Word of God says about me. So, what do you do when those thoughts come up? Replace them! Stop the bad thought, and replace it with a righteous thought. The Bible says, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on Earth.” (Col. 3:2) So begin to practice being in control of your thoughts.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” -1 Timothy 6:6-7

5. Accept you for you and celebrate that.

I am reminded of a true story of an amazing missionary, named Amy Carmichael. She spent much of her young life wishing for blue eyes because she thought that her soft, brown eyes were so boring and common. She just knew that she would be prettier with blue eyes, so she prayed one night for blue eyes. She awoke the next morning only to find that her eyes were still brown. What a disappointment! Her mother explained to her that God must have a special purpose for saying “no” to her genuine request for blue eyes. Amy grew up to become a missionary to India. She worked diligently to free little girls from the temple, where they were kept as “sacrifices to the gods”. Horrible things happened to the little girls in the name of their Hindu religion. In order to enter the temple to free the little girls, she needed to look Indian, so she would stain her skin with coffee, and her brown eyes were a perfect fit for her disguise. Blue eyes would never have worked. God had a plan in the way he made Amy, down to the color of her eyes. He made her intentionally, knowing the future He had for her. He made each of us that way too. Our story may not be as clear as Amy’s, but it’s there. That’s why we need to accept our imperfections (as we perceive them) and celebrate how God made us…as individuals for His glory and His purposes.

So in a way, we can be like Wreck-It-Ralph, and take our whole self, and just be exactly who we were created by God to be, funny looking toes, noses and all. I think that we can actually use Wreck-It-Ralph’s mantra ourselves with a few tweaks. In fact, I might just put it on a post-it note for my mirror!

“I’m not perfect and that’s good

I’ll never be perfect and that’s not bad.

There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

So, today and every day, be who you were made to be, and then be okay with it!

In the next part of our series, I’ll be tackling the topic of beauty. What does it mean to be beautiful? How to we define beauty? I hope you can come back next time.

I was prepared to hate this book. This is my first book that I’ve received for free in exchange for a review, and I was totally prepared to give a scathing review. After all, I don’t want to be a softie…but as I opened the cover and began reading the introduction, I knew this would not only be a book that I would give a glowing review of, but it would be a book that I would actually treasure for all my years of mothering.

Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood is an excellent bible study for mothers in either individual or small group settings.

Walking With God in the Season of Motherhood by Melissa B Kruger is an eleven-week Bible study full of nuggets of wisdom. I found Kruger to be conversational in her writing style, which I really enjoyed. Her words spoke directly to my heart at a time when I need guidance (of course, when do I not need guidance in this whole mothering thing??). With each page turn, I felt as though she knew what I was walking through at that very moment in my motherhood journey.

Each day, I sat on my front porch with a pen in hand and underlined, circled and starred my favorite parts of the book so that I could highlight a few of those in my review. However, now that I have finished the book, there are so many underlined, circled and starred portions that I may as well just type out the book again for you. I think one of my absolute favorite parts came from Week 7 entitled, Walking in Peace. As a mom, anxiety and fear is something that I am continually battling. Kruger’s words really encouraged me in this area.

“…anxiety is actually a lack of trust in the Lord and a form of prideful independence.”

“There is no greater threat to the peace of our homes than anxiety and fear directing our actions.”

“While it might not be in my plan to have a sick child, a diaper leaking all over my clothes, or a teenager’s moodiness to address, these tasks take on significance when I realize this is God’s plan for my day.”

I highly recommend this Bible Study for mothers. I believe it will bless you and encourage you as it did me.

I think one of the greatest comforts I received from this study was that Kruger knew every struggle a mother faces, and while she calls out sin, she also gently shows how to find your way to repentance as a mother.

“I cannot protect my children from my weaknesses. As hard as I may try, at some point my sin will affect their lives. However, the way I deal with my failure can provide an example for them to follow.”

I appreciate the many practical suggestions concerning common struggles such as comparison, contentment, fear & worry, and anger. I also enjoyed the last few pages in which the author included a list of verses for moms to memorize and a list of verses and character traits to teach your children.

I would highly recommend Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood to any mother. I believe that mothers will be incredibly blessed by the study in both individual or small group settings.

*As stated above, I received this book free of charge in return for an honest review. The opinions expressed are solely my own.

Hey guys! Today, I’m hanging out over at the Arkansas Women Bloggers site writing a featured post about our adoption story. I would love, love, love for you to check out my post over there and maybe even share it? It’s my first guest post ever. 🙂 Click the link below to read the post:

Yeah….I know what you’re probably thinking…and yes, I said the “M” word. Meditation. You’re likely thinking about people sitting in a well lit, sparsely furnished white room, with their legs crossed, holding out their arms and saying….”Oooooohhhhmmmmm, Ooooohhhhmmmm.” I understand. I did too! But, that’s not the kind of meditation I’m referring to. I’m talking about scriptural meditation. It’s an art that we as a whole, are at risk to lose (if we haven’t already) amidst the hustle and bustle of modern day life. Simply being still in the presence of the Lord.

In our best intentions, we keep our children so busy, but the truth is that they crave to be silent before the Lord just as we do.

Joshua 1:8

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

For us grown-ups, it’s sometimes as simple as sitting on the front porch in the morning before the rest of the world wakes, our cup of coffee in hand, just silently thanking God for the trees, the sky, the birds, and all the many blessings. Other times, it’s heart-wrenching silence, praising God even though life gets hard. Sometimes, it’s even letting your mind dwell on a single scripture from the Word of God while we wash dishes and watch the hummingbirds. Sometimes, it’s being literally still and quiet, and soaking up the wonders of His glorious creation.

It seems so often, that we as adults tend to believe that children are flat out incapable of being quiet and still before the Lord, but I would argue that children crave time to be quiet and still. They need thinking time. They require time to ponder the great things of God, just like we do. But, in thinking we are doing the right thing by keeping them busy constantly, we are neglecting to teach them to be content with stillness.

I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

Our children crave time to ponder big thoughts about God. Train them to be still and quiet in the presence of the Lord.

A few years ago, I went to a women’s bible study and took my then-preschooler, Isaac. It was called BSF, short for Bible Study Fellowship. I highly recommend it. Anyway, part of their children’s program was to “lay down for five minutes and think about God” after the lesson. Isaac had a really hard time with it at first. Oh, he struggled! So, I began to work with him at home. We would lay on the floor and just be quiet and still and “think about God.” Well, he finally one day, came out of his class and said victoriously, “Mom!! I laid down today the whole five minutes!” And then, defiantly, he said, “but I didn’t think about God. I thought about tractors!” I didn’t know whether to rejoice with him at the time or crawl under the table! It took us a few more months working on the art of being silent and thinking about God, but we persisted together! And I began to see how this affected him not only in understanding more about God, but also in his ability to sit still for a period of time, and to focus on tasks. I also saw the fruit that the practice brought in sitting and listening in “big church”. I began to see the value not only spiritually, but also in every other area. Isn’t that the way God is many times? We follow His leading, and He blesses us with unexpected things?

Nowadays, our meditation time looks a little different. We have three more kiddos being quiet and still with us. And it’s our very favorite time. I always schedule it after our Bible reading each morning so they can have the opportunity to think and ponder the thoughts we read and discussed. Now we listen to a hymn as we meditate on the Lord. Many times, I’ve found that after our silent time, one of the kids will open up discussion again and we’ll continue for another 30 minutes or so just talking about their big questions.

Psalm 1

1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.

The thing is…meditating on God’s Word requires training. It’s not natural for any of us to sit still and do nothing-just think. So, at first, your kids might just respond like Isaac did. That’s ok! Persevere with them, Mama! Teach them by example, and by consistency. Show them that it’s an important part of the day. Most days, Lydia still tells me that she thinks about her dolls and ponies during our time of meditation. But, it’s ok! She’s learning.

Here’s how it works at our house. In the morning, after morning chores, we get together for Bible time. We sing songs, recite our memory verses, and then I read from the Bible and we discuss it as we go. Then, I have everyone pick a spot in the living room, get really still, close their eyes, turn on some great, soothing hymns, and we just sit and ponder the great things of God. I tell the kids to pray, to thank God for things, to think about our passage that we read today, or to just sit and listen to the words of the hymn. When we first started, I played a 2 minute song, and that was it, but we’ve stretched it out now as much as 8 minutes, and many times, they aren’t ready to stop.

This is why I say children crave that still, quiet moment in their day, just like we do. After the song, we all meet together in the middle of the living room floor and we share about what we thought about.

This time is SO fruitful for our family. It’s also a great way to begin your day…centered on God. It is my prayer that my kids will continue this practice long into their adulthood. It has been such an oasis for me personally, that I want that for them as well.

I wanted to leave you with a few of our favorite hymn albums to listen to during our quiet times:

A great resource for teaching your children the art of biblical meditation