Let’s All Laugh at the Chicago Bears This Morning

We’re pretty sure Denny Green would agree — the Chicago Bears are who we thought they were. The San Francisco 49ers proved that by taking them apart on national television to the tune of 32-7, Monday night.

The loss dropped the Bears to 7-3 and gave the Green Bay Packers the NFC North lead, courtesy of the 23-10 whipping the Packers handed the Bears in week two.

So let’s see how this went down.

The Bears were inept offensively without the injured Jay Cutler. Jason Campbell was 14 of 22 for 107 yards, one touchdown and two interceptions. That being said, the Bears would have been inept with Cutler in the game too.

Why?

Same old Chicago Bears issues we’ve talked about for the past three years.

1. Shitty offensive line — Campbell was sacked six times on Monday night. Aldon Smith had 5.5 of those. The Bears have given up the second-most sacks in the league thus far.

2. Shitty receivers — yeah, the Bears have Brandon Marshall, but the 49ers made an effort to take him out of the game (just like the Packers did earlier this season) and guess what? No passing game. That’s because the rest of your receivers wouldn’t make the Waupaca JV squad, Chicago.

Then there’s that great, other-worldly defense.

By the way, thanks for that wonderful segment on the Peanut Punch, you champion of journalism and proper pronunciation, Rachel Nichols. You really make the world a better, more cheerful place.

Several Bears defenders actually said they expected quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who was making his first start, to hand them some turnovers last night. I guess people should be intimidated just standing on the same field with you, huh?

That’s good strategy! Yeah!

Suck balls, Chicago. You can sit and watch the Packers ride this one out to another NFC North title and a first-round bye.

We’re sure your time of patting yourselves on the back and making fudgepacker comments was fun while it lasted.