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I'm supposed to be studying chemistry, but screw that. Numbers are floating out of my ears at the moment. Besides, this is studying English isn't it?

Spoiler:

Team Plasma is a funny team. Not like clowns or the Harlem Globetrotters, they're just the weird ones. I really applaud the Pokemon company for making them because of how deep they have the potential to be, but simple enough for the childish players and all. Some parts of Unova actually support them remember? But the reality morality vs fictional morality is a good standpoint. Maybe people will start to realize how different Pokemon is, and just how freaking awesome it is.

I think Hunter J would be really easy to incorporate. Remember the musketeers are legendary, and someone would want them, or want them gone. In this case, someone would probably hire Hunter J to capture them, where Greg gets saved or something and tries helping her maybe? Then this could lead to an encounter with N, because he doesn't like poachers. Just some food for thought.

I think Zoroark is actually a good match, mainly because it can change into a human and Greg could possibly sympathize? I think it would be funny if Greg decides to travel with the "human" until he figures out that it's actually an illusion. At least that's for an initial meeting so Greg can slowly start warming up and get used to it. Even more, it could pose as a assistant to Professor Juniper because she wants to study its illusions, and Greg could meet it there. Oh the endless possibilities. The only problem is Zoroark are supposed to be rare, but who cares.

N and Greg have potential to have some awkward chemistry. We'll see what happens, since it looks like you have that part pretty much set.

A missing piece tied in with the dragons? I think a dragon stone or whatever it was in the movie would be a perfect fit. It's Zekrom and Reshiram, so that'll fit. The stones are kind of like Dialga's and Palkia's, so the stones probably hold a lot of power or dimensional energy or something. That way, Greg has a desire to go about and look for the stones, and he could ask N about that. And he could explain more about dragons, etc. Or he could deny him and conflict ensues. Either way, using the stones sounds solid.

Yeah, overall the story wouldn't really be "you don't know what you're missing", mainly because Greg is running around Unova like the Odyssey. If you wanted that though, you should probably have Greg worry about his family missing him, and other references. Don't do it in excess though, that'd be too emo and exaggerated.

Well, glad I could help! Now I can go back to "studying", whatever that means.

I'm very new to the whole fanfic thing... But sometimes when I'm playing through a game, or reading a good book, or heck, even listening to some music, I'll get an idea that usually only has a tentative link to the trigger. Most of the time, I ignore it because I'm lazy and don't want to spend hours on end or even days or weeks writing out something, but this time was a bit different.

See, I was listening to the HGSS soundtrack last night, and this idea popped into my head, sort of a expansion into the world of GSC, from a more realistic and much darker standpoint. I don't really want to give away my plot since I haven't gotten it into the final ordering yet (I imagine what to write in stages rather than starting from the beginning and working to the end (in the example I gave above, this scene that floated into my mind would be about 2/3 of the way through the story)).

My biggest concern is length. Do people get turned off by long stories? This story is going from before my protagonist even got the desire to set out up to when said protagonist finally accomplishes the goal he's been striving towards, framed by the protagonist (at a much older age) telling the story. I envision him to be sitting in an armchair next to a fire telling his grandchildren, approximately. That said, it's a long story. I wrote for nearly two hours straight before getting to the night before the protagonist left on his journey. I guess that could be a prologue, or maybe the first chapter, but I still have all of Johto (with my own spin) to go through, not to mention building up the conflict and tension subtly enough that it's not like "Oh, herpderp I'm walking around OHMAIGAWDTEAMROCKETISEVIL," and other stuff that would have to happen before the halfway point. Not to mention all the stuff after the halfway point. I would anticipate if I split it into chapters it would take at least twenty to tell the whole story.

So, would it be better to split it into that many chapters, or perhaps take three or four chapters at a time and post them up as Acts or Sections or something like that?

and

Spoiler:

My protagonist is essentially a transplant/refugee, who ends up moving to Cherrygrove City after his home is Saffron is made unavailable by the main driving force of the plot, headed by my antagonist. He was given a Pokemon egg for his birthday contemporaneously with Red's journey through Kanto, though he wasn't going to go on an adventure while they were living in Saffron. The egg hatched into a Sneasel, and he's essentially raised it to ignore the darker tendencies that Sneasel and Weavile are known for, albeit unknowingly. The way his Sneasel acts intrigues Professor Elm, who invites (I guess I'll give his name, because writing out the protagonist is getting old) Ethan to help him with his research as his old Assistant is not around anymore. He's also going to meet a really close friend and possible love interest (though I have zero inclination to take the story down any romantic roads), who will also be a bit of a driving force in the plot.

I haven't decided on his morals yet. Obviously he's going to be a nurturing Trainer, due to the relationship he had with Sneasel, but he's going to get motivation spurring him on to revenge on the antagonist three times in the story, and I'm trying to decide how to turn an almost Ash-like moral set into something a bit more jaded without losing the original good that I had in mind for him... Maybe I can't, and he'll have to change. I really don't want to change him, but I don't really see any other options.

So, I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas on the moral values side of this. Also, before I forget, I'm worried that I'm overusing the egg idea, since the supporting protagonist is going to get a very rare Pokemon from an egg later in the story. Any thoughts on that would be appreciated as well.

If anyone can help me out on either of these points, I'd be much obliged.

Welcome to FF&W as well as the world of Fanfiction, dbcification! It's an exciting world, writing is. Length is not a concern. If people criticize you for length, it would be about how you rushed this, or it didn't flow like this, or this wasn't shown to be important enough, or anything else. Overall, it shouldn't matter. Long or short, as long as it's good writing, it's fine. People do not get turned off by long stories, trust me. I mean people read books all the time. I read the last Harry Potter book the day it came out because I was so excited, despite it breaking 700 pages. It did take me all day to finish it, but that's okay. It was a really good read and a satisfying ending. The same applies for fanfiction. Write as much as you need to get your story across, that's all that really matters.

The protagonist leaving isn't a prologue, I'll tell you that right now. A prologue would be some big event that sets your story into motion, like 9/11 caused the war on terror. Yeah, that's not exactly a story example but you get the point. Preferably, you should write in chapters. A lot of authors have acts, but that's just to separate the chapters. Not many release their story in acts. Use chapters. It's neater and easier to track, posting each chapter one at a time.

So now, onto the egg and Sneasel. Yes, they are known to be seriously vicious, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. I don't see why that would be so important to Professor Elm; it's just one Pokemon. It's temperament is a bit more mild, but overall it's still a Sneasel. It doesn't have three arms or an extra head, so why he'd be interested is beyond me. Professor Elm studies eggs, right? It would more canon if Professor Elm wanted to study the aging of a Pokemon hatched from an egg in captivity versus one in the wild, so he could ask Ethan about that and his help in research that way. In this case, you can mention how different its nature is from other Sneasel because of the way it was raised, you might mention egg moves, there are a lot of things you could do in that case. It's far more interesting rather than, "This Sneasel wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I want to study why!" If he studied people like that, he'd study everyone. He'd wonder why some people like this type of music and not this, because that's the standard kind. He'd survey what their favorite hairstyle was, and he'd be running around the world with a lot of questions. He'd wonder why some people can solve math problems, whereas others can't without a calculator.

Ironically, Ash is like that. I mean the way you're describing the character, since you want to use his mindset. AKA, being a complete doofus, can't tie his own shoes without yelling Thunderbolt, can't put 2 and 2 together (literally), etc. He also loses his temper easily, like when he met Paul in Sinnoh. I swear every time they met, Ash tried to act cool and Paul called him a loser and voila, Pokemon battle! The same goes with Trip, because that prick calls Ash a hick all the time. Come on Trip, get some new insults. Red neck jokes get old. Anyway, your character wants revenge? That's a different meal. Revenge is a meal best served cold. That's a big tone, in my opinion. The antagonist would have to do something more than just piss him off. It would be interesting to see his demeanor change as he continually meets his rival and his Sneasel feeds off that dark personality. And then they keep adding their negative influence, so you get some really messed up character. And that's freaking awesome. Now that does complicate things since you want that goody goody stuff in him. I mean, the only thing you can really do is change him. Don't make him be like Ash, a snot-nosed, selfish kid, and make him really chill or something. Either way, you'll figure something out.

Oh, one last topic: Eggs. Nah, that's not a big deal. Pokemon are practically worshipped in their world, so receiving a Pokemon egg is like catching one without the effort. The problem is how they receive the egg, but you won't reveal the plot so there's nothing else I can say.

Yeah, I finished! I'm so happy. Well, now I wasted about 10 minutes typing and doing nothing but help other people, when I should study. But studying is really boring and I prefer writing and reviewing and that stuff. Oh well. Big woop. Good luck with your story and I'll be looking forward to reading it!

Welcome to FF&W as well as the world of Fanfiction, dbcification! It's an exciting world, writing is. Length is not a concern. If people criticize you for length, it would be about how you rushed this, or it didn't flow like this, or this wasn't shown to be important enough, or anything else. Overall, it shouldn't matter. Long or short, as long as it's good writing, it's fine. People do not get turned off by long stories, trust me. I mean people read books all the time. I read the last Harry Potter book the day it came out because I was so excited, despite it breaking 700 pages. It did take me all day to finish it, but that's okay. It was a really good read and a satisfying ending. The same applies for fanfiction. Write as much as you need to get your story across, that's all that really matters.

The protagonist leaving isn't a prologue, I'll tell you that right now. A prologue would be some big event that sets your story into motion, like 9/11 caused the war on terror. Yeah, that's not exactly a story example but you get the point. Preferably, you should write in chapters. A lot of authors have acts, but that's just to separate the chapters. Not many release their story in acts. Use chapters. It's neater and easier to track, posting each chapter one at a time.

That's good. I was worried that people would just click away after they saw the length. Chapters do certainly sound more manageable, so I'm taking your advice there, even though it means I'll have a ton of posts to write them all up on here. :/

Spoiler:

So now, onto the egg and Sneasel. Yes, they are known to be seriously vicious, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. I don't see why that would be so important to Professor Elm; it's just one Pokemon. It's temperament is a bit more mild, but overall it's still a Sneasel. It doesn't have three arms or an extra head, so why he'd be interested is beyond me. Professor Elm studies eggs, right? It would more canon if Professor Elm wanted to study the aging of a Pokemon hatched from an egg in captivity versus one in the wild, so he could ask Ethan about that and his help in research that way. In this case, you can mention how different its nature is from other Sneasel because of the way it was raised, you might mention egg moves, there are a lot of things you could do in that case. It's far more interesting rather than, "This Sneasel wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I want to study why!" If he studied people like that, he'd study everyone. He'd wonder why some people like this type of music and not this, because that's the standard kind. He'd survey what their favorite hairstyle was, and he'd be running around the world with a lot of questions. He'd wonder why some people can solve math problems, whereas others can't without a calculator.

Well, the reason behind Sneasel's nature being such a big deal is that

Spoiler:

in my story, essentially, Team Rocket has returned to power in Kanto to the degree that people had to evacuate, and that caused the Gym Leaders, the Elite Four, and any competent adult Trainers to go stand guard over an area, namely from Indigo Plateau to Route 26. Professor Elm's research has changed from studying the particulars of Pokemon evolution to studying how Pokemon can rise above the norms of their species, which is what is needed to defeat Team Rocket, since they are much, much stronger this time around, and a lot less, well, Team Rocket-ish (i.e no more "Oh no I dropped the Lift Key!").

So, I've payed a lot of attention to it because it sets up a line of communication for Ethan to take his mind off the situation that brought him to Johto, and it allows Professor Elm to get some much needed help on his research, since his assistant

Spoiler:

who, in my story, has gone off to the blockade to keep Team Rocket out of Johto (his daughter is my supporting protagonist as well)

isn't around anymore. It also allows for Ethan and the supporting protagonist (who I'm calling Lyra (may change, not sure on it yet) to meet and for some kind of bond to start between the two of them.

Spoiler:

I'm really trying to capture the awkwardness of being a teenager trying to fit into adult problems in an adult world in this spot in the story, because the thing that sparks Ethan and Lyra's friendship is Lyra being chased by Sneasel (who Ethan told to hide in the woods and play sheepdog after seeing Lyra sneaking peeks into the Lab and disappearing if she saw Ethan see her) up into the lab, and revealing that her father's been killed in the fighting at the blockade. Ethan, being a real bonehead (much like I was at that age) doesn't know how to comfort her properly, so he blurts out his ambition to become strong enough to wipe Team Rocket out someday, which gives Lyra the support of a comrade, if you will, and she begins training with Ethan so they can both become stronger and take on the Johto League (which is an Elite Four I set up so that Trainers in Johto still have a shot at the Pokemon League).

So that's why I focus on Sneasel and Professor Elm's interest in it. I'm sure I could find another way to do what I'm trying to do, but that's the one that made the most sense in my head.

Spoiler:

Ironically, Ash is like that. I mean the way you're describing the character, since you want to use his mindset. AKA, being a complete doofus, can't tie his own shoes without yelling Thunderbolt, can't put 2 and 2 together (literally), etc. He also loses his temper easily, like when he met Paul in Sinnoh. I swear every time they met, Ash tried to act cool and Paul called him a loser and voila, Pokemon battle! The same goes with Trip, because that prick calls Ash a hick all the time. Come on Trip, get some new insults. Red neck jokes get old. Anyway, your character wants revenge? That's a different meal. Revenge is a meal best served cold. That's a big tone, in my opinion. The antagonist would have to do something more than just piss him off. It would be interesting to see his demeanor change as he continually meets his rival and his Sneasel feeds off that dark personality. And then they keep adding their negative influence, so you get some really messed up character. And that's freaking awesome. Now that does complicate things since you want that goody goody stuff in him. I mean, the only thing you can really do is change him. Don't make him be like Ash, a snot-nosed, selfish kid, and make him really chill or something. Either way, you'll figure something out.

That's really good advice, yeah. In light of what's above in my spoiler'd sections, I wanted to sort of keep Ethan friendly enough and outgoing enough to not alienate the supporting protagonist, even though both of them are motivated by revenge. I haven't really imagined any sort of rival for Ethan except the supporting protagonist, and it's not one of the Gold/Silver type of rivalries where the rival is someone who is the polar opposite of the protagonist, regardless of their reasoning.

Spoiler:

I do plan on having parts of Johto be more Rocket-friendly, such as Mahogany Town, but it'll definitely be a subsurface support, because I'm making Pryce a part of the Johto Elite Four, and having Silver take his place at his Gym. I don't see how an evil rival would do the story any good though, since I already have a friend/rival in Lyra for Ethan.

I definitely want the situation they're both in to slowly change him, but I guess I'd rather him turn into a rather dark hero who still knows where he stands on his values and beliefs (they can change, I just want him to know them) even though he's become so jaded and hurt by all the stuff that will happen to him over the story rather than turn from a mostly happy character to a sort of anti-hero (if that made any sense whatsoever). So this paragraph is mainly a sounding board. XD

Spoiler:

Oh, one last topic: Eggs. Nah, that's not a big deal. Pokemon are practically worshipped in their world, so receiving a Pokemon egg is like catching one without the effort. The problem is how they receive the egg, but you won't reveal the plot so there's nothing else I can say.

Okay, so how about

Spoiler:

Ethan and Lyra becoming horribly lost in Ilex Forest, only to be found and rescued by a very badly injured Celebi, who, upon teleporting them to the exit of the forest, gives Lyra its egg, and then fades away (still working on a way to not make that sound cheesy. Maybe a bit of time travel is needed?)

Because that's how I've envisioned Lyra getting the egg of said rare Pokemon. Does that sound too cliche or too... I don't know, badfic-y?

Yeah, I finished! I'm so happy. Well, now I wasted about 10 minutes typing and doing nothing but help other people, when I should study. But studying is really boring and I prefer writing and reviewing and that stuff. Oh well. Big woop. Good luck with your story and I'll be looking forward to reading it!

Well, thanks psyanic. But now that that I think about it, I need a few final things solved before I feel I'm ready to continue with the fic:

Spoiler:

Well, I have the basic plot charted out: Greg lands in Unova, encounters Juniper and Fennel who try to get him home, Greg treks through Unova to get parts for the portal, ultimately needing a part that Team Plasma and N needs to fulfill their plans of awaking the dragon and separating humans and Pokemon, and opposes them to get the final piece for the way home. I'm worried about the thought that it's going to be anti-climatic. Greg really doesn't give a care about Pokemon, as his only real experience of them before he meets his Zoroark sidekick are several creatures trying to maul him, and because of this he really only opposes Team Plasma because they're more or less "in the way". I choose to set the fic in Unova because there's a lot of potential for tension between an organization dedicated to liberating Pokemon(though Ghetsis plans otherwise) and someone who's experience with Pokemon is pretty much like Greg's.

The whole reality morality vs. fictional morality is a good central theme now that the hero doesn't battle with Pokemon, with the knight in shining armor Zoroark sidekick providing a good POV from the other side of Greg's reality morality views, but because Greg in this fic doesn't really care about them, I need the moral to be something different. I have an idea about the conflict between the two sets of morals amounting to the lesson being "your right to wave your fist in the air ends where the other man's nose begins", going by psyanic's fangame quote about hypocrisy in stopping other peoples beliefs, and the other reason being that it's basically the moral of Team Plasma when you take out Pokemon in my opinion, because even though Team Plasma has support for their goals, there's a good amount of people in Unova that cherish their relationships with Pokemon. Because this theme of the fic basically amounts to a moral argument, How do I set this up to a satisfying emotional climax? An idea comes to mind about Greg teaming up with Kyurem because he realises that if the sturggle between Truth and Ideals continues, it will just end up tearing Unova apart and tries to end it once and for all, but I don't think that ties in well with the planned moral above. Ideas? Comments? Help?

Then, I kinda want to stick to Greg's original stick of him braving Unova more or less without the help of Pokemon. I realize that whenever a human gets involved in a fight it instantly turns dark, but Greg's going to run into trouble sooner or later. I realize that wild Pokemon won't attack him if he leaves them alone, but the bad guys are a different story. Say for example the little Hunter J arc I have planned out as a conclusion for Greg's encounters with the Musketeers: J unintentionally saves Greg during one of Greg's run ins with them, and thanks to his lack of knowledge about the Pokemon world, agrees to help her out. Juniper and Fennel contact him about how she's a callous poacher, and Greg basically spies on her for the next chapter or so in order to get another piece for the portal. When he finally gets it, he decides to let the airship's captured Pokemon out to wreck up J. She finds out about his actions, and this leads into an encounter. Basically what I'm asking is, how does Greg fight those types of encounters out while still keeping tone? I understand that by doing this I'm walking a very narrow tightrope here, and I could use some help about this.

And last, I'm kinda worried about this being not really a Pokemon fanfic. When it comes down to it, the fic is focused on Greg, who isn't a trainer. Because I plan on him giving out the moral I wrote about, I want him to learn one in return. Like I wrote before, I want it to be 'you don't know what you have till it's gone" because Greg has pretty much been yanked out of his life that he kinda took for granted. How do I balance out the fic having that special Pokemon touch while simultaneously being the story of a man struggling against a strange and dangerous world in order to get back the things he holds dear?

My, my, my. My. So many people to help! Yes, two is a lot in my book. I don't have very high standards. That's just depressing... These spoiler tags are annoying me now. Boo~

Okay, so first at dbcification:

Your Sneasel idea is still a bit off. I think the point of training Pokemon is to make Pokemon stronger. Being different doesn't necessarily help it. Looking for the perfect Pokemon is like finding your special other. Your special other is not perfect, I'll tell you that right now. It's all about looking for the person you can see in the perfect light. Stop looking for the perfect thing, make it perfect for you. The Sneasel should be perfect for the trainer. It should be like a match. Studying abnormal behavior (which is really subjective in my opinion) in Pokemon is, like I said before, trying to figure out what a normal person is like. It's impossible to do that because everybody is different. Honestly, making Sneasel so "special" makes the idea of it seem forced. Try to work in the canon. I know I mentioned this before, but I'm really starting to like the idea of Professor Elm wanting to study how Pokemon born/raised in captivity differ from those in the wild. It's just more logical.

I know you want Team Rocket to be stronger than usual, but taking over regions just isn't realistic. Team Rocket is as strong as they are depending on your world. That's part of world building. Make them how you want them to be, don't judge them based on the games. Look at a few other works of fanfiction. If you can't find any decent ones, just message me or Google, or even Bing if you're feeling lucky. A few have Team Rocket and they're not exactly wimps, but trainers aren't looking for the perfect Pokemon. They just battle them or fight against them the way they always do, with their normally trained Pokemon.

Okay, so for the whole Ilex Forest thing. I mean, that's not a bad idea as long as the writing is solid. Then again, that's the case for anything really. I never heard of Celebi laying an egg to begin with. What's more important is why is it injured? And why would it trust the duo with an egg? It's not the fact that it just disappears, but more of the fact that its introduction and its behavior act more in canon.

Yeah, no spoiler tags. I'm being a rebel.

And now for FourCartridge! Yay! Even though he's probably getting tired of my rants... Oh well. He'll just deal with it.

Spoiler:

The emotional climax will definitely be the battle with N. Not sure what dragon's hero he'd be, but I think it would definitely set a tone. Even more, Ghetsis controlling one would show the hypocrisy of Team Plasma. There is the truth about Pokemon's nature and their abuse, whereas there is also the ideal of living without Pokemon. So you have a few options to go with here and I'll leave that to you. And stories can have multiple themes, though these morals are a bit unrelated. Zoroark could remind him of his wife or something, since it could probably change forms to his wife and he'd miss her, emotions here, etc. We're just assuming Zoroark can read minds or saw Greg's wife in a picture that was in his wallet. That could be an underlying theme.

For the Hunter J ordeal, using a Pokemon as a sidekick would pretty much balance the really negative tone. I mean, Greg wouldn't go up to her and hit her would he? If that happened, this might as well not be a Pokemon fic but more of an original fiction. Using Pokemon would balance the mood and remind readers that it is, in fact, a Pokemon fic. Greg doesn't really look like the type to learn that moral. His values are really ambiguous. He seems really bored with his life, which I'm think you're trying to get this across, but knowing what he's missing would require some interaction with things he is missing. That sounded backwards. He has to miss something. That's all the emotions and all, but it's actually not that relevant with the overall plot. He wants to go home. He wants what he is missing. He'd have to have some epiphany later on, and he wouldn't want to go home to begin with. Maybe he'd realize that this world was perfectly fine because nothing too bad happened, until Team Plasma entered his world so he tried changing that, but realized that what he really wanted was his life again. Changing Unova made him realize that he could change his own life as well.

Geez, you ask some hard questions. It makes my brain shed a few pounds, which isn't good if you think about it literally.

Out of revenge for being the main reason for hating herself, Palkia wraps the moon to a different dimension. As Palkia sits back and enjoys her suffering, Cresselia is distraught over the moon's disappearance and angrily orders her underlings to search for it. While Giratina and her friends try to help her cope through this unfortunate situation, the moon goddess feels that she should get to the bottom of the situation. Who would be so vile as to steal the moon?

So she seeks the strongest Pokemon of Unova to use her Psychic powers to align the stars and trace the moon and figure out the culprit.

I'm pretty sure you mean "warps" instead of "wraps" here. Now, I'm not entirely clear on Palkia's motive. You word it a bit awkwardly, making it seem like Palkia hates herself out of revenge. I think you mean Cresselia hurt her feelings, but then again, I'm not sure. You might want to clear that up before the story starts though.

I didn't think Cresselia really had a following or grunts or underlings. She's pretty much solo, just like Darkrai. They're both alone for good reason though. Cresselia is like the dream keeper of the Pokemon world, so all she does is fly around. I'm assuming she uses the moon to do her rounds, like Santa Clause flies around all night and only during the night. I think immediately, she'd assume the culprit to be Darkrai. So the story should start around there, accusing Darkrai, while he continually laughs like a cynic. And stuff like that, ya know? Totally a random suggestion, but who knows?

I'm always wondering why people try to make their characters find this Pokemon because it's so powerful. So I hope you do satisfy when it comes to explaining what it is and why it's wanted. It is kind of cheating for Palkia, since she can just hide in one of her dimensions for a while, so I'm interested to see how that'll turn out.

Other than that, I can't say too much. It's a good idea, though a bit quirky, but that's fine. Just make sure to stick to a bit of canon. One thing I appreciate in stories is logic. Good luck!

My, my, my. My. So many people to help! Yes, two is a lot in my book. I don't have very high standards. That's just depressing... These spoiler tags are annoying me now. Boo~

Okay, so first at dbcification:

Your Sneasel idea is still a bit off. I think the point of training Pokemon is to make Pokemon stronger. Being different doesn't necessarily help it. Looking for the perfect Pokemon is like finding your special other. Your special other is not perfect, I'll tell you that right now. It's all about looking for the person you can see in the perfect light. Stop looking for the perfect thing, make it perfect for you. The Sneasel should be perfect for the trainer. It should be like a match. Studying abnormal behavior (which is really subjective in my opinion) in Pokemon is, like I said before, trying to figure out what a normal person is like. It's impossible to do that because everybody is different. Honestly, making Sneasel so "special" makes the idea of it seem forced. Try to work in the canon. I know I mentioned this before, but I'm really starting to like the idea of Professor Elm wanting to study how Pokemon born/raised in captivity differ from those in the wild. It's just more logical.

I know you want Team Rocket to be stronger than usual, but taking over regions just isn't realistic. Team Rocket is as strong as they are depending on your world. That's part of world building. Make them how you want them to be, don't judge them based on the games. Look at a few other works of fanfiction. If you can't find any decent ones, just message me or Google, or even Bing if you're feeling lucky. A few have Team Rocket and they're not exactly wimps, but trainers aren't looking for the perfect Pokemon. They just battle them or fight against them the way they always do, with their normally trained Pokemon.

Okay, so for the whole Ilex Forest thing. I mean, that's not a bad idea as long as the writing is solid. Then again, that's the case for anything really. I never heard of Celebi laying an egg to begin with. What's more important is why is it injured? And why would it trust the duo with an egg? It's not the fact that it just disappears, but more of the fact that its introduction and its behavior act more in canon.

Yeah, no spoiler tags. I'm being a rebel.

Geez, you ask some hard questions. It makes my brain shed a few pounds, which isn't good if you think about it literally.

I've thought on this for a couple days, and I'm going to have to take a few more to figure out my direction with this additional input...

However, I want to ask about my ending/ending third of the story. I just want to say, this is heavy, heavy spoilers ahead. Sorry. :/

Also this is a ridiculously long part, so don't feel as if you have to read it all at once and comment all at once.

Spoiler:

So, the last third of the story is ignited by the death of Lyra. I really don't want to spoil exactly how she dies, because that's one of the most poignant moments in the entire story, but just giving background. Ethan is reeling from her death, and thinking about what to do next. Giovanni has been somehow cranking up the power of his Pokemon to dangerous levels, to the point where Weavile (who evolved from Sneasel during the fight with Silver in Mahogany Town's Gym) can't even hurt Giovanni's Nidoking with Ice Punch.

Before she passes, Lyra gives Ethan her Celebi, who he resolves to release in her honor when the rest of the adventure is over. He releases her other Pokemon on the Routes she found them, after another tearjerky scene of her burial back in New Bark. I'm just going to say, I already wrote those two scenes, and I cried like a sir reading it back. He spends a while in a kind of depressed stupor, then Celebi starts tugging on his arm and he follows it out to Lyra's grave, where it Teleports him to a very dark cave. Celebi starts emitting a soft light, and Ethan follows it. Eventually they come to a sort of conclave.

The powerful Psychic Pokemon, legendary and non-legendary alike are all represented at this meeting. Their minds meld as one, and they telepathically speak to Ethan about the source of Giovanni's power. Time for a history lesson.

When Arceus created the world, it created powerful gemstone eggs, which held the forebears of every type of Pokemon, the common animals, and humans. These early humans, in honor and reverence to Arceus, gathered up the shards of these eggs and forged tablets, pleading with Arceus for its continued favor and protection. They built a temple to house these tablets, which were as big as a full-grown man, and Arceus itself manifested in the temple and set power in the tablets to keep balance over the world while it slept. Some generations later, a group of evil-minded humans stole these tablets, awakening the fury of Arceus. They knew they were as good as dead, but they hated Arceus for the way they were made - equal to Pokemon, which they regarded as mindless beasts. Even so, Arceus spent the energy and fury it had built up in its sleep eradicating these humans, but the damage was done, and Arceus needed to sleep again to rebuild its strength. Its last action before falling into the slumber it has been in ever since, it split the tablets and scattered them across the world.

The plates were lost to time, as was the language used to plead with Arceus. But by an devastating trick of fate, Giovanni stumbled across one of the plates, an Earth Plate, as it were. He studied it, and concluded there must be more out there. He spent countless years tracking them down, but the year of Team Rocket's takeover, he finally found the second half of the Earth Tablet, as well as the Poison Tablet and the Normal Tablet. With those under his control, and Arceus safely slumbering as it had for eons on end, he used the tablets to gain control over the Pokemon governed by said tablets. Not control in a literal sense (something Ethan will have trouble comprehending), but control in that no Pokemon governed by a tablet in Giovanni's possession can put a scratch on him, or on any of his Pokemon.

The Psychic conclave will suggest that Ethan go look for the one Psychic type who's single-handedly stood up to Giovanni and won before, and has the all the same motivations as Ethan does to exact revenge, Mewtwo.

To make a long portion of the story short, Celebi teleports Ethan and co out of the conclave, and Ethan sneaks across the border to Kanto by crossing Mount Silver. In the process, he convinces Red to come out of solo training, and in the ensuing fuss over Red's reappearance, Ethan gets out past the blockade. He makes his way through Mt. Moon, and, guided by memories Red imparted to him, sneaks his way to Cerulean Cave, which the Rockets have sealed off. Ethan's Sandslash (captured in Union Cave in between the first and second Gym challenges) tunnels beneath the Rockets' sealing stone, and Ethan descends to the depth of Cerulean Cave, avoiding the wild Pokemon, who exhibit the full strength that wild Pokemon can attain. At the very bottom, Ethan meets Mewtwo, who is surprised to see another human in its home. It tells Ethan that he is distinctly more powerful than the feckless little Rockets that sealed off the Cave, and asks why Ethan came here, to his doom.

Ethan tells Mewtwo about Giovanni and the tablets, and Mewtwo flies into a rage. It agrees to come with Ethan if Ethan shows it "the power of one worthy to be my partner in my last bid for revenge on my creator." After a very intense battle, Mewtwo calls for Ethan to stop, and teleports them to the outskirts of Saffron City, or, what's left of it. Giovanni destroyed most of the outlying buildings and homes, including the Magnet Train station and Ethan's old neighborhood. He's taken the old Silph Co. building as his headquarters, and Rockets are swarming the place.

Mewtwo, always one for intimidation and flashy tricks, teleports them to the top floor of the building, at the same time releasing a shockwave that blows the roof off of Silph Co. Ethan and Mewtwo meet Giovanni there, and Giovanni reveals that he's collected the Psychic Tablet, and quickly wipes the floor with Mewtwo and turns his attention to Ethan. However, Celebi flies out of its Pokeball and teleports Ethan and the badly injured Mewtwo to a far-off ruined temple, which turns out to be both the Sinjoh Ruins and the Temple where the Tablets were kept. Celebi, however, is overwhelmed by Giovanni's Pokemon, and is captured.

Once in the Sinjoh Ruins, Mewtwo understands the true nature of Giovanni's threat, and tells Ethan how to get out of the ruins to the Sinnoh side, and where to find, and hopefully awaken, Arceus. Mewtwo stays behind, and uses the residual energy in the Temple to amplify its psychic power to send out a telepathic message to all the legendary Pokemon, informing them of Giovanni's plot and Ethan's mission. Meanwhile, Ethan emerges in a crypt beneath the Solaceon Ruins, and after a few moments of confusion, emerges into the Library itself. He goes to the Pokemon Center to look at a map of Sinnoh to find out how to get to the Hall of Origin, without success. He decides to stay the night in said Pokemon Center, only to be visited in his dreams telepathically by several Pokemon, ranging from the Lake Guardians, to Darkrai and Cresselia. None of them mean him any harm, and appear to him in the dream to speak to him about the Hall of Origin, and moreover, the key to the Hall, the Azure Flute.

The next morning, word of his emergence from the ruins attracts Cynthia, who, upon hearing the full story of his journey and dream, leads him to Celestic Town, where she retrieves the Flute. However, she won't give it to him without putting him to the test, and their original Pokemon square off (Garchomp v Weavile). Weavile, being both a very strong Pokemon and an Ice type, easily defeats Garchomp, but doesn't strike it when it's downed, instead waiting for it to get back up before resuming the battle without being told to by Ethan (not the first time Weavile/Sneasel shows mercy, but one of the few he does so without input from Ethan). This strikes Cynthia as noteworthy, and she gives Ethan the Flute in exchange for taking her to the Hall of Origin as well, to ensure he means absolutely no harm to Arceus.

They make their way to the Spear Pillar, where Dialga and Palkia are waiting. This surprises Cynthia, as she clearly was expecting the Spear Pillar to be empty. She then admits that if they weren't there, the Flute wouldn't have worked anyway, since it needs their song in harmony with it to open the way to the Hall of Origin. Ethan plays the Flute via impulse, and Dialga and Palkia begin humming along in harmony. As the song goes on, their song varies, and they take on a mournful sound. Eventually, Ethan finishes, and opens his eyes to see a glowing stairway leading up beyond the clouds where previously there had only been a sharp drop to the bottom of Mount Coronet. Ethan begins to walk up it, but stops as Cynthia doesn't follow. He begins to ask, but a Voice tells him that only the one who played the Flute and has been admitted can enter. Cynthia, upon questioning, admits she knew it, and that it was another test.

Ethan marches up the stairway, going up past the clouds to beyond the edge of the atmosphere, even higher than Rayquaza flies. And there, he meets Arceus. Arceus appears as every Pokemon ever seen and recorded, as well as many Ethan's never seen in any database, as well as a swirling mist, a raging fire, and Arceus' true form, with its many arms curled around it. Arceus judges Ethan there on the spot, and wakes up, descending and manifesting itself in the form shown in canon. Arceus then speaks to Ethan, and I haven't worked this conversation out, but it ends in Arceus destroying all the plates and reassembled tablets, transporting Ethan to the top of Mount Silver, giving him the authority to remove Giovanni from power, and returning to its slumber.

Ethan then descends, and passes through the blockade, marching down from Cerulean to Saffron. Then comes the final battle, which I haven't decided on how to execute. However, Giovanni will die. That much I've decided on.

Haha! Long things to read fills me with glee. That sounded better in my head. And no! Another spoiler tag... Nah, who cares. I'm wondering how long it'll take for me to fully respond to everything. Here I go!

Spoiler:

Interesting thing with Lyra and all. Although, now I'm starting to wonder why you're even using Ethan/Lyra since you could just use an original character. I don't really know. It's just something that somehow bothers me at times. Sure, they're technically you in the games, but it's just so overused and so many personalities, I don't see the point of using them anymore really. I guess it's easier to identify with readers, but whatever. If you don't want to use them, it'll be pretty easy to use an original character because of how their personalities are pretty much the same since they don't have any. That's just my opinion in there, totally not relevant with the monster post.

I'm wondering how Giovanni made his Nidoking so strong. In that case, all his Pokemon would be that way. It's probably the tablets, which actually do boost a Pokemon's attack, depending on type though. Woo-hoo, canon!

I can't say much about the whole history thing. That's really up to you. I'm a bit worried about the whole "Psychic Pokemon all morph to talk to Ethan" thing. It's better to use a single character, partially because that is totally freaky. Not exactly in a bad way, but it's just really farfetched. It would be better to just introduce Mewtwo. Celebi would know, since Mewtwo could just tell it telepathically and Celebi would know its cave (Cerulean Cave? Maybe? Yes?!), and yeah. Mewtwo is smart too, at least that's how I thought of it. Now, that does screw up your whole going into Cerulean Cave ordeal. But honestly, Mewtwo already aware of the whole Rocket situation makes more sense. I mean come on, in a few parts of the anime, Mewtwo is shown running around a few cities and watching them, making sure they're safe. I'm sure it would notice something odd if Giovanni suddenly rose to power. Think about it. Its creator is running around destroying everything, and Mewtwo hates its creator. And the whole "proving yourself" thing is getting overused, especially since you use it again when you have Cynthia doing it too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a Pokemon asking for help, even if it's Mewtwo. Also, meeting with Red looked pointless. I know he's really cool and a badass, but if he doesn't do anything important, keep him out. He's just a dude on a mountain, and probably hungry. Nothing really special about it. If you want other people to take notice, and they totally will, try using some other trainers who want to do good, or Gym Leaders, even the Elite Four and the Champion. Most fics present Gym Leaders/E4/Champions as pivotal figures in fighting crime, and that makes sense. They're role models and that's just what they do. Don't forget the local police too. They need some love, even though Giovanni would probably take them apart.

What happens with Celebi when they teleport from Silph Co.? I'm guessing that Celebi doesn't teleport with them. In that case, I think it really adds to the tone if Celebi dies. Being captured.. yeah not too much. But if it dies, it really gives the story a sense of hopelessness and tragedy. As for Ethan's dreaming, I think it would be best if only Cresselia/Darkrai appeared. They both represent dreams and nightmares, so it makes more sense if they just appear. The Lake Guardians would look too forced if they were present. Anyway, Cresselia gives good dreams, Darkrai gives nightmares, so I think they'd cancel each other out to give Ethan a regular old dream, if that makes sense.

Okay, onto Cynthia. It's best if Weavile and Garchomp are more evenly matched. Remember, Cynthia has trained for who knows how long, but she's a Champion. Ethan has been a trainer for maybe a year. A type advantage is nothing compared to battle aptitude. Look at the anime: Ash wins a lot even with type disadvantages, and loses with advantages. I think it would contribute more to the fic if Garchomp and Weavile are so evenly matched and just duke it out for a bit. You know, they're both pretty darn fast and hit hard, just Garchomp is more bulky and Weavile is more agile, so then eventually maybe Weavile comes out on top and doesn't deliver a final hit and instead, collapses next to its combatant. More suspense is in there, and a lot more emotion into the battle, which is what you really want to get across. It's like coming of age in full bloom at the scene.

And now with the Hall of Origin. Don't keep trying to force in those legendaries. Sure, Dialga and Palkia are important, but it's better if they just aren't there. It's too forced and they don't do anything, except really minor plot devices. Take 'em out. It's all Arceus's show now. And in the real game event, they don't appear either. And being picky here again, but why are you using a voice to tell Ethan that only one can proceed? Cynthia is a history junky and I'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy to tell him why she won't follow him into the hall. And what's with Arceus? I know that it's a God and all, but the description is really weird, given that it actually has a physical appearance. And the appearance is also static. Arceus isn't a doppelganger, just a sleepy creator. Keep it in context so you don't seriously freak out readers with your arms and flames and everything. It's fine if you want to make his resting place all special and crazy, but not Arceus itself. Arceus doesn't really have arms. Other than that, the plot idea is all right, except Arceus needs the tablets to fully utilize its powers, evident in the Arceus movie. It's a different story if the plates are already there though. Or you know, whatever you want to do. I'm mainly thinking in canon here, but it's fine if you don't want to use it, just don't stray too far off.

And the final battle. Game time, baby. It's all seriousness here. The final battle is the climax. It's everything you've worked on. This is the big moment. The actual battle? It surely wouldn't be a full battle. The Pokemon world is resting on Ethan's shoulders and the pressure is everywhere. It's emotional, dramatic, and destructive. It could work if they were on top of Silph Co., so Giovanni could fall and die. But Silph Co. is getting overused I suppose. Another thing that could work would be battling at the train station, and somehow either Ethan's or Giovanni's Pokemon sends the magnet train flying at Giovanni and kills him. These are just a few random ideas. Hopefully, they gave you something else to work with.

Ah, didn't take too long. Only about thirty minutes, the writing process anyway. The plot certainly thickens but it all means nothing if the prose or something is off. Remember, plot isn't all of writing. While it is a good idea to plan, too much planning may cause you not to write much at all. Well, that weird advice aside, I hope that my input gave you some new ideas and that you're more prepared to start your story!

Haha! Long things to read fills me with glee. That sounded better in my head. And no! Another spoiler tag... Nah, who cares. I'm wondering how long it'll take for me to fully respond to everything. Here I go!

Spoiler:

Interesting thing with Lyra and all. Although, now I'm starting to wonder why you're even using Ethan/Lyra since you could just use an original character. I don't really know. It's just something that somehow bothers me at times. Sure, they're technically you in the games, but it's just so overused and so many personalities, I don't see the point of using them anymore really. I guess it's easier to identify with readers, but whatever. If you don't want to use them, it'll be pretty easy to use an original character because of how their personalities are pretty much the same since they don't have any. That's just my opinion in there, totally not relevant with the monster post.

I'm wondering how Giovanni made his Nidoking so strong. In that case, all his Pokemon would be that way. It's probably the tablets, which actually do boost a Pokemon's attack, depending on type though. Woo-hoo, canon!

I can't say much about the whole history thing. That's really up to you. I'm a bit worried about the whole "Psychic Pokemon all morph to talk to Ethan" thing. It's better to use a single character, partially because that is totally freaky. Not exactly in a bad way, but it's just really farfetched. It would be better to just introduce Mewtwo. Celebi would know, since Mewtwo could just tell it telepathically and Celebi would know its cave (Cerulean Cave? Maybe? Yes?!), and yeah. Mewtwo is smart too, at least that's how I thought of it. Now, that does screw up your whole going into Cerulean Cave ordeal. But honestly, Mewtwo already aware of the whole Rocket situation makes more sense. I mean come on, in a few parts of the anime, Mewtwo is shown running around a few cities and watching them, making sure they're safe. I'm sure it would notice something odd if Giovanni suddenly rose to power. Think about it. Its creator is running around destroying everything, and Mewtwo hates its creator. And the whole "proving yourself" thing is getting overused, especially since you use it again when you have Cynthia doing it too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a Pokemon asking for help, even if it's Mewtwo. Also, meeting with Red looked pointless. I know he's really cool and a badass, but if he doesn't do anything important, keep him out. He's just a dude on a mountain, and probably hungry. Nothing really special about it. If you want other people to take notice, and they totally will, try using some other trainers who want to do good, or Gym Leaders, even the Elite Four and the Champion. Most fics present Gym Leaders/E4/Champions as pivotal figures in fighting crime, and that makes sense. They're role models and that's just what they do. Don't forget the local police too. They need some love, even though Giovanni would probably take them apart.

What happens with Celebi when they teleport from Silph Co.? I'm guessing that Celebi doesn't teleport with them. In that case, I think it really adds to the tone if Celebi dies. Being captured.. yeah not too much. But if it dies, it really gives the story a sense of hopelessness and tragedy. As for Ethan's dreaming, I think it would be best if only Cresselia/Darkrai appeared. They both represent dreams and nightmares, so it makes more sense if they just appear. The Lake Guardians would look too forced if they were present. Anyway, Cresselia gives good dreams, Darkrai gives nightmares, so I think they'd cancel each other out to give Ethan a regular old dream, if that makes sense.

Okay, onto Cynthia. It's best if Weavile and Garchomp are more evenly matched. Remember, Cynthia has trained for who knows how long, but she's a Champion. Ethan has been a trainer for maybe a year. A type advantage is nothing compared to battle aptitude. Look at the anime: Ash wins a lot even with type disadvantages, and loses with advantages. I think it would contribute more to the fic if Garchomp and Weavile are so evenly matched and just duke it out for a bit. You know, they're both pretty darn fast and hit hard, just Garchomp is more bulky and Weavile is more agile, so then eventually maybe Weavile comes out on top and doesn't deliver a final hit and instead, collapses next to its combatant. More suspense is in there, and a lot more emotion into the battle, which is what you really want to get across. It's like coming of age in full bloom at the scene.

And now with the Hall of Origin. Don't keep trying to force in those legendaries. Sure, Dialga and Palkia are important, but it's better if they just aren't there. It's too forced and they don't do anything, except really minor plot devices. Take 'em out. It's all Arceus's show now. And in the real game event, they don't appear either. And being picky here again, but why are you using a voice to tell Ethan that only one can proceed? Cynthia is a history junky and I'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy to tell him why she won't follow him into the hall. And what's with Arceus? I know that it's a God and all, but the description is really weird, given that it actually has a physical appearance. And the appearance is also static. Arceus isn't a doppelganger, just a sleepy creator. Keep it in context so you don't seriously freak out readers with your arms and flames and everything. It's fine if you want to make his resting place all special and crazy, but not Arceus itself. Arceus doesn't really have arms. Other than that, the plot idea is all right, except Arceus needs the tablets to fully utilize its powers, evident in the Arceus movie. It's a different story if the plates are already there though. Or you know, whatever you want to do. I'm mainly thinking in canon here, but it's fine if you don't want to use it, just don't stray too far off.

And the final battle. Game time, baby. It's all seriousness here. The final battle is the climax. It's everything you've worked on. This is the big moment. The actual battle? It surely wouldn't be a full battle. The Pokemon world is resting on Ethan's shoulders and the pressure is everywhere. It's emotional, dramatic, and destructive. It could work if they were on top of Silph Co., so Giovanni could fall and die. But Silph Co. is getting overused I suppose. Another thing that could work would be battling at the train station, and somehow either Ethan's or Giovanni's Pokemon sends the magnet train flying at Giovanni and kills him. These are just a few random ideas. Hopefully, they gave you something else to work with.

Ah, didn't take too long. Only about thirty minutes, the writing process anyway. The plot certainly thickens but it all means nothing if the prose or something is off. Remember, plot isn't all of writing. While it is a good idea to plan, too much planning may cause you not to write much at all. Well, that weird advice aside, I hope that my input gave you some new ideas and that you're more prepared to start your story!

In general, I'm glad I posted this because you can help temper my ideas. I was worried about the amount of legendaries, and upon thinking it over, I don't know why I wrote that Celebi was caught.

Spoiler:

As for Arceus, I took the arm thing from the Pokedex entry about it forming the world with its thousand arms, the fire part from a the description of God from.. Well, somewhere in the Bible, I thought it fit. Anyway, I guess having a static image works, but I want to show that Arceus is pissed, so that's why I chose the freaky description. I'm also going to read a few final battles from other stories/fics to get a few ideas, but I think this should really ultimately be my last expression of the whole story.

I see your points on Cynthia and the Psychic type gathering, it does seem a bit odd... In my defense, I barely played Gen IV except for Heart Gold, so most of my knowledge of Cynthia is hurriedly Bulbapedia'd.

As a last note on the Ethan/Lyra name choice... It actually started off as a set of placeholder names, but as I wrote and imagined and experienced the story with and through them, I really got attached to them as characters in their own right, and I think after I start posting the story, you'll see that as well. This may be a bit weird, but on occasion, I will sort of get in character and answer for/through them to sort of flesh them out. If its weird... Meh, I don't care, it works.

I'm pretty sure you mean "warps" instead of "wraps" here. Now, I'm not entirely clear on Palkia's motive. You word it a bit awkwardly, making it seem like Palkia hates herself out of revenge. I think you mean Cresselia hurt her feelings, but then again, I'm not sure. You might want to clear that up before the story starts though.

I didn't think Cresselia really had a following or grunts or underlings. She's pretty much solo, just like Darkrai. They're both alone for good reason though. Cresselia is like the dream keeper of the Pokemon world, so all she does is fly around. I'm assuming she uses the moon to do her rounds, like Santa Clause flies around all night and only during the night. I think immediately, she'd assume the culprit to be Darkrai. So the story should start around there, accusing Darkrai, while he continually laughs like a cynic. And stuff like that, ya know? Totally a random suggestion, but who knows?

I'm always wondering why people try to make their characters find this Pokemon because it's so powerful. So I hope you do satisfy when it comes to explaining what it is and why it's wanted. It is kind of cheating for Palkia, since she can just hide in one of her dimensions for a while, so I'm interested to see how that'll turn out.

Other than that, I can't say too much. It's a good idea, though a bit quirky, but that's fine. Just make sure to stick to a bit of canon. One thing I appreciate in stories is logic. Good luck!

In my Pokeverse here, Palkia was teased by Cresselia because of her powers. So in the current story I'm writing now, Palkia got to see just how powerful she really is. So in this idea, she starts to get angry with Cresselia for teasing her all this time. That's why she warps the moon in this idea.

Oh as for the Pokemon being sought out, it's not only because she's powerful but she has the ability to align the stars and feel the dimensions with her psychic abilities.

Hey guys for a long time I have wanted to write a pokemon story. I have tried many times,but was never successful in finishing it. So this time,I came with a diffrent approach. Having 2 main characters who start and travel together. I also finaly have a more pokemon anime like style,but also a real storyline. Of course their will be rivals,but haven't gotten that far yet. So I help in seeing if this will be any good. And hopefully it doesn't follow any movies.

Spoiler:

Name: AyliaraAge: 15Appearence: Ayliara is a 15 year old teen girl. She wears purple most of the time. She is a tomboy,but can be a girly girl when she wants to be. She has long dark brown hair and baby blue eyes. History: Ayliara has always loved pokemon. She has dreamed of becoming a pokemon trainer sense her father and mother told her about them when she was a year old. Here goal is to become a pokemon master. She starts her journey side by side with her bestest friend in the world she can tell anything to.

Name: DalexAge: 15Appearence: Dalex is a 15 year old teen boy. He wears crimsion red most of the time,but will sometimes wears blue. He is a normal boy who plays many sports, but with his torn muscle in his leg,he hasn't been able to play them much. He is a little big,but also fairly muscular. He has very dark brown hair that is almost black and Hazel eyes.History: Dalex has loved pokemon sense as long as he could remember. He is best friends with Ayliara. Dalex was suppose to have started his journey 6 months ago,but promised to wait for Ayliara. Dalex is also known as one of the nicest people in the region and mostly all the people in the region know and love him. Dalex's dream is to become a pokemon master and try his best to help people and pokemon in need. He also loves taking photos of his friends and family and landscapes and pokemon.

Setting: Dalex and Ayliara live is a small region far south of Unova. It is a mainly woodland area. The capitol of the region has a river that goes right through the city, There is a lot of hills and not much major water sources other the the lake and the river,which both are fairly big. There are many ponds and creeks. There is one mountain to the north part of the region. But,a group named Team Shadow has formed and is getting ready to attempt to take over the region by attacking towns at night and stealing pokemon. There really is only a Summer and Winter in this region. It's eather summer weather or winter. Althought they go through all 4 seasons. History of the Region: Celsinic Region is home to Ayliara and Dalex. The evil orginization known as Team Shadow has formed in order to rule over the region. Not much is know other than they use Dark.Psy,and Ghost type pokemon to attack other trainers and steal pokemon from the trainers. Their real ambition is unknow at this moment in time. There was also a Civil War that tore the region into 4 parts. Althought there has not been any problems in over 100 years. Old rivals still burn deep. And with the movement of Team Shadow. The Region is on the breack of another war.

History of the Region: Celsinic Region is home to Ayliara and Dalex. The evil orginization known as Team Shadow has formed in order to rule over the region. Not much is known other than they use Dark.Psy,and Ghost type pokemon to attack other trainers and steal pokemon from the trainers. Their real ambition is unknow at this moment in time. There was also a Civil War that tore the region into 4 parts. Althought there has not been any problems in over 100 years. Old rivals still burn deep. And with the movement of Team Shadow. The Region is on the breack of another war. All this happens as the Dalex and Ayliara start their journey. There is a reason for Dalex waiting for Ayliara,but not know to them. Dalex and Ayliara must win the badges of the region and win passage through the city that has been split into 4 parts. In the middles lies the arena. They must win and face the leader of Team Shadow. Fights break out among the people of the region as old hatreds boil to the surface. The region thrown into turmoil and it is up to Dalex and Ayliara and all their friends to save the region from a Civil War that will destroy the region.

Glad to see you want to write stories! Welcome to FF&W and the magical world of writing Pokemon fics!

Before I say anything about what you wrote down, you might want to check your spelling and grammar and basic mechanics. Just from what you said, you don't space after commas, don't spell things correctly, using the wrong "their, they're, there", etc. So before you post, save readers the trouble of those errors so they can read it enjoyably and without too much of a hassle.

Sorry to tell you but having not one but two trainers traveling together is not something unspeakably new. It's a slightly different approach, but it's still pretty darn close to standard anyway.

Okay, so now you outlined us the characters. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes new writers tend to make. Do not save readers the trouble and try listing out random facts about your characters. You have appearances, and in stories, you usually don't bother with them. They're not important. Readers don't read because the main character is sexy. They read because the characters are interesting and have some kind of personality, which supplements a good ole plot. When you start telling us Dalex is 5'11, the first thing people think will be, "So what? Who cares?" Don't make that mistake. The same goes with the history. Unless it's completely vital to the plot, don't bother. It's also unimportant. Of course, if it somehow shapes how the character interacts because of a bad experience, then yeah, say something about it. But don't give us an biography on all the useless information.

And finally, you don't tell us much about the plot at all. You tell us everything but the plot, actually. Characters, setting, no plot. So there isn't much to say about that. I can only guess the two characters will travel Unova, get badges, conquer the Pokemon league while they beat Team Shadow.

So, I'm new to these forums and relatively new to writing fiction as well. More or so, re-introduced to writing. It's been years since I've actively applied my thoughts creatively into any literate format. However, I recently found myself ready to write and have had a lot of ideas being thrown around in my head with an equal amount of difficulty bringing any of them to full form.

Anyways, one of the ideas I'm working on is a tragic comedy about a wanna-be/would-be superhero named Char Man. Whether or not this man will be a Pokemorph or some deprived lunatic running around in a Charmander suit wielding a flamethrower, I haven't decided. I'm currently planning on it being a one-shot, but depending on how much I enjoy writing it and how much more story I can put into it could potentially become a series. The following is a summary for one idea I have related to the character:

Spoiler:

Tentative titles: Charman Origins or The Origins of Charman
39-year old Jonathan Watkins is a brilliant, yet also unstable scientist employed at Silph Co. for most of his adult life. Under achieving and never progressing in his career, he is eventually laid off. He immediately begins plotting his revenge against his former employers, deciding he would become the ultimate villian, he creates a make-shift Pokemon costume and an elaborate flame-thrower technology which accurately allows him to use fire-type Pokemon attacks. However, as he stands in front of the Silph Co. building he finds himself interfering in a mugging and perhaps finding a new purpose for his life, he re-directs his motive for revenge and instead becomes the protector for the city of Saffron. Following months of successful hero work, he will find that the life of a hero comes with great rewards and even greater consequences.

There you have. My love-letter to comic book heroes in all of their glory. Sound off and let me know what you think of my idea!

The story is quite weird. And different. Very, very different. I can't help but wonder where the logic is in this story. He wants to kill his boss? Okay, I guess that's kind of sensible. I mean, who doesn't? But it's a tad extreme. Next, it's the fact that he's a human and any Pokemon can launch a Hyper Beam or Water Gun at him and he's screwed. Super heroes? Those are your justice trainers or whatever. Come on, trainers take down Team Rocket. Not even the police seem to do their job, so ten year olds with a Squirtle travel around and beat up a crime syndicate. For a person to run around with a flamethrower? What's the good in that in a Pokemon world? It would be slightly more plausible if this story took place in the real world, if at all.

And I'm wondering where the plot actually comes in. He's a lunatic who wants to save the world, whatever. Not my problem. Where's the adversity? People trying to chase him down?

One more question, what kind of idiot is mugging a person in front of Silph Co.? It's obviously populated there and quite a busy street with all the employees coming and going, so I guess you're implying that he sees the mugging way before Silph Co.

Yes, it is different for the Pokemon world, at least. I'm simply playing off of things we see more often in the real world, and less in the Pokemon world. Super hero stories are a dime a dozen in real life and it seems strange to me that it isn't a genre explored within Pokemon, especially since there are so many cool creatures and concepts that could be used to create a legitimate hero within the Pokemon world.

Quote originally posted by psyanic:

He wants to kill his boss?Okay, I guess that's kind of sensible. I mean, who doesn't? But it's a tad extreme.

Very, very good point. I'll admit I hadn't considered that yet, but it gives me something to think about.

Quote originally posted by psyanic:

Super heroes? Those are your justice trainers or whatever. Come on, trainers take down Team Rocket. Not even the police seem to do their job, so ten year olds with a Squirtle travel around and beat up a crime syndicate.

Super heroes, why not? I've honestly always wondered where the logic was in young children battling crime syndicates, and it's seen in every OT/journey fic written. It's over-used and highly unfitting for the kind of story I have in mind.

Quote originally posted by psyanic:

For a person to run around with a flamethrower? What's the good in that in a Pokemon world? It would be slightly more plausible if this story took place in the real world, if at all.

That's why this story won't take place in the tradition Pokemon world. It isn't a traditional Pokemon fan-fic, so I'll likely create my own alternate universe for it to exist within. There aren't any rules against that, as far as I know.

Quote originally posted by psyanic:

And I'm wondering where the plot actually comes in. He's a lunatic who wants to save the world, whatever. Not my problem. Where's the adversity? People trying to chase him down?

Perhaps you aren't as familiar with the super hero genre as I am, but all self-respecting heroes have a villain of either equal or greater match. He'll have one, and it will ultimately be his un-doing, but I've yet to really decide who or even what it will be. Also, there are matters of the public and law enforcement, and whether or not they will support him or think of him as a menace. They could easily become enemies themselves

Quote originally posted by psyanic:

One more question, what kind of idiot is mugging a person in front of Silph Co.? It's obviously populated there and quite a busy street with all the employees coming and going, so I guess you're implying that he sees the mugging way before Silph Co.

Good point, but I pictured that particular scene happening late at night/early in the morning. Perhaps one of the employees from Silph Co. on their way to work or leaving for home. It's definitely a plot point that can and will have a bit more thought put into to it.

Anyways, thanks a lot for giving your insight. While I didn't agree with some of your points, you did offer me a few things to think about, and those are things that will greatly attribute to the story's overall quality.

I am planning a new fanfic that I will work on during my Spring Break.

It will be based off an old RP called "Deadly Alliance" from PE2K, created by Dark Amethyst.

In the plot. Ash Ketchum turns to the side of Team Rocket, after Giovanni tricks the ten-year-old into believing that he is Giovanni's son.

Meanwhile, Giovanni has power in the mainlands of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova, having some of his agents eliminate Teams Magma, Aqua, Galactic, and Plasma, then brainwashing the remaining members to join Team Rocket.

Giovanni wants to, obviously, rule the world with an iron fist, killing those who oppose him, and enslaving those who can't stand up to join the growing rebellion.

On a remote Island, victims of the Rockets' tyranny are starting a rebellion, ordered by Arceus. They call themselves "Pokemon Crusaders". So far, the small subgroups in the Crusader base are the White Ninjas (Normal and Flying specialists), the Brown Berserkers (Fighting, Rock, and Ground specialists), the Red Gladiators (Fire specialists), the Green Samurai (Grass and Bug Specialists), the Yellow Spartans (Electric specialists), the Purple Gurus (Psychic, Ghost, and Poison specialists), the Blue Pirates (Water and Ice specialists), the Black Knights (Dark specialists), the Silver Hunters (Steel Specialists), and the Gold Vikings (Dragon specialists).

The two founding leaders of the Crusader rebellion are a young couple whose wedding was forced to be postponed in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy involving a war on the Rockets. Eric Damon watches over the activities of Brown Berserkers, Green Samurai, Purple Gurus, Black Knights, and Gold Vikings. Peggy Owen does so for White Ninjas, Red Gladiators, Yellow Spartans, Blue Pirates, and Silver Hunters.

Each chapter will have two sides: The Rockets and The Crusaders.

Will good triumph over evil? Or will Giovanni finally achieve his goal of world domination?

I don't know where to put this. I would put it in the plot bunny thread, but you seem willing to go with writing this already. And it's not just an announcement for a fic, because you haven't posted it yet.

I'll move this to the plot bunny thread so if you would like opinions on the plot, you can get it there.

But as a general rule, you can't post a thread in the Writer's Lounge just saying that you're going to be posting a fic soon.

I asked this question on serebii and bulbagarden and got different responses. How can you pull this off?

I had an idea of one. The story takes places a few weeks after a story I'm currently working on called Space lives on my breath. In this upcoming one, Palkia wants to seek revenge on Cresselia, a girl who has been tormenting her for her abilities for the past 3 years. The reason Palkia did this? When Palkia started school, Cresselia has always made fun of her and made her school life miserable. She would call her names, make fun of her spatial abilities, and throw things at her, and even get the other Pokemon to join in. And for those 2 years even when she was at home, Cresselia's words hurt Palkia to the point that she thought she was worthless. When in reality, Cresselia makes fun of Palkia because she dislikes that Palkia was technically the strongest female Pokemon in class when it has always been her. If the other Pokemon knew that then she wouldn't be popular anymore. Plus she felt that she had a better life and better boyfriend than she did. Darkrai mostly comes at night to that's the only time she gets to see him that is until he had to be enrolled in school. During that time in this story, he learns that the time he spends with Cresselia means alot not only to her but it starts to make him better as well.

How she does this is that when Cresselia, her servants and her friends are having a party, she warps the moon to her dimension. Or another revenge plot I had was her messing her up for her party, like ruining her beauty.

Also, she does this because Cresselia has been saying all this time that space was nothing, but in another fic, you'll know that it's not the case.

I know with the moon there are tides involved but will this be reasonable for a revenge fic?

So . . . I have a small idea for a fic I'm going to write, which is kind of loosely based on the history of Unova. Hopefully, I won't write myself into a corner this time like with all my other fics. For this one, I'm going to write a vague outline / timeline first so the plot doesn't just randomly stop.

Spoiler:

In Unova, they worship three dragons: Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem, known for being extremely destructive. The people don't really revere them but rather fear them because the dragons destroyed the region before, and so they try to satisfy them so they don't raze Unova.

The way to do this is sacrificing people and Pokemon to the dragons. Before any old person or Pokemon can be thrown to Reshiram, Zekrom, or Kyurem, they have to be prepared in an extensive, months-long ritual. In charge of this ritual are three high priests. They are Hilda, Cheren, and Bianca, high priests/essesin charge of Zekrom, Kyurem, and Reshiram respectively.

Of course, due to their line of work, the three of them don't have any problems at all with dressing up people and Pokemon and giving them to the dragons to eat. In fact, the first rule they learned when trying to become high priests was: "Under no circumstances shall you form a bond with anyone you work with, be it human or Pokemon." They were taught that so the three of them don't get emotionally devastated by sacrificing someone they care about, yes, but it was mostly made so no high priest would try to save one of the sacrificial victims.

And then Hilda has to go off and break that rule. She falls for Cress, one of the people she's in charge off. Yeah, it's pretty much a crack pairing. (Side note: Cress is one of the most vocal about protesting the sacrifice.) With that, she slowly begins to accept the fact that no, what's she's doing is not okay. Meanwhile, Cheren has been studying the dragons and finds something interesting: the God Stone, a legendary artifact that purportedly can tame the feral dragons (Watch it do something totally ironic in Black 2 and White 2 now that I've said it). The location of this strange God Stone is just as legendary, said to rest at the island in the center of Unova, a place where many strange things are reported to occur.

Ever since her revelation, Hilda is hung up on getting there and finding the God Stone. Cheren decides he'll come with her if it works. And Bianca is still a faithful High Priestess, working diligently since The Feeding (yes, it's in all caps) is coming up. Oh, that's right, The Feeding's coming up! They've got what, a month or so until Hilda's love interest and the other plot points die. It's a race against the clock! And what if the God Stone doesn't tame the dragons? Well . . . we'll find out later, since that's all I've figured out.

In this story "Hilda" is the main character, but I hate that name, so her name will be Maria. Additionally, "Red" is in this story but I also don't like that name so he will be known as Asher.

Spoiler:

Maria is BORED. She's beat the League, taken down a criminal mastermind, and even helped to round up his followers. So it's not so surprising that a year later, she's feeling a bit of a letdown.

Then Looker comes to call...AGAIN. At first Maria is annoyed. What does he want? He is the last person she would think could cheer her up, but when he tells her his problem, she becomes intrigued. Interpol has sent him to investigate the disappearance of the enigmatic former Kanto champion Asher Red. It's a well known fact to most Trainers that Asher waits atop Mount Silver for powerful trainers to battle him, but a few years ago, he was finally defeated by a girl named Lyra. He hasn't been seen by anyone since, and Interpol has only just noticed this and sent Looker to investigate. And Looker wants Maria to help him.

Feeling like her hope for another adventure has been answered, Maria eagerly sets out for Interpol headquarters with Looker. But all is not what he promised. When they arrive, Maria discovers that Looker was only asking her to accompany him because he didn't want to do it with another girl, known as Midnight. Midnight is experienced in this sort of thing, unlike Looker, but also extremely bossy and a control freak. She insists on coming along, and she and Maria are instantly rivaling.

With Skyla's help, they fly to Kanto, and discover that someone knew they were coming. It seems as if Asher has been leaving clues for them- clues that he knows only they could decipher. What is he trying to do here? And what is Maria supposed to make of the rumors of a super-powerful Ghost-type and a mysterious string of murders happening across the region?

You'll have to read the story to find out!

If you haven't figured it out yet...

Spoiler:

This story is loosely based on what would happen if Hilda and Looker were a part of the legend of Creepy Black.

So . . . I have a small idea for a fic I'm going to write, which is kind of loosely based on the history of Unova. Hopefully, I won't write myself into a corner this time like with all my other fics. For this one, I'm going to write a vague outline / timeline first so the plot doesn't just randomly stop.

Spoiler:

In Unova, they worship three dragons: Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem, known for being extremely destructive. The people don't really revere them but rather fear them because the dragons destroyed the region before, and so they try to satisfy them so they don't raze Unova.

The way to do this is sacrificing people and Pokemon to the dragons. Before any old person or Pokemon can be thrown to Reshiram, Zekrom, or Kyurem, they have to be prepared in an extensive, months-long ritual. In charge of this ritual are three high priests. They are Hilda, Cheren, and Bianca, high priests/essesin charge of Zekrom, Kyurem, and Reshiram respectively.

Of course, due to their line of work, the three of them don't have any problems at all with dressing up people and Pokemon and giving them to the dragons to eat. In fact, the first rule they learned when trying to become high priests was: "Under no circumstances shall you form a bond with anyone you work with, be it human or Pokemon." They were taught that so the three of them don't get emotionally devastated by sacrificing someone they care about, yes, but it was mostly made so no high priest would try to save one of the sacrificial victims.

And then Hilda has to go off and break that rule. She falls for Cress, one of the people she's in charge off. Yeah, it's pretty much a crack pairing. (Side note: Cress is one of the most vocal about protesting the sacrifice.) With that, she slowly begins to accept the fact that no, what's she's doing is not okay. Meanwhile, Cheren has been studying the dragons and finds something interesting: the God Stone, a legendary artifact that purportedly can tame the feral dragons (Watch it do something totally ironic in Black 2 and White 2 now that I've said it). The location of this strange God Stone is just as legendary, said to rest at the island in the center of Unova, a place where many strange things are reported to occur.

Ever since her revelation, Hilda is hung up on getting there and finding the God Stone. Cheren decides he'll come with her if it works. And Bianca is still a faithful High Priestess, working diligently since The Feeding (yes, it's in all caps) is coming up. Oh, that's right, The Feeding's coming up! They've got what, a month or so until Hilda's love interest and the other plot points die. It's a race against the clock! And what if the God Stone doesn't tame the dragons? Well . . . we'll find out later, since that's all I've figured out.

Eh, I don't know if you'll check this thread after a month or something, but I wanted to post something for myself and I felt it is wrong for me to post while no one answered your request yet, so.....
I don't know how helpful I would be but just throwing in my two cents.

Spoiler:

Do the characters have to be Hilda, Bianca and Cheren? I mean you can base them off these three but considering they are high priests in this they must be totally different.

Now this plot can be splendid, but at the same time if you can't convince how a high priestess, who is not supposed to and have not emotionally attached themselves to anyone fall in love with a random guy who protests the ritual which they treat it with utmost respect and all it could fail. But if you can create Hilda's character in such a way that it is possible, like maybe she acted like a rebel among the priestesses when she was a child but was then forced or something like that you can convince in making her fall in love with the hero.

So first and foremost I think you need to develop Hilda's character rather well.
And now let's go to Cheren. He is a priest, and it is fine with a priest doing research(anime do that a lot, IDK about irl priest though). Then why would he give a suggestion as stupid(in a priest's eyes) as taming the dragons itself?

If someone like Cheren got that idea itself won't the people who made the ritual or the people who wanted the inhuman ritual for hundreds(possible eh?) of years?

As a writer you need to fill these holes if you want your characters with that particular background/ Instead you can introduce Cheren as a casual guy who is friends(?) with Hilda.

----------------------------------
With that addressed, there is something I want to try.

I got this idea when I was reading the electric tale of Pikachu--A manga version of the Pokemon anime.

Although it is a manga version of anime,it is quite different. First Ash shows interest in older girls(like Gary's sister) which makes his interaction with Brock more awesome(who is the same). And Misty is slightly more extreme Misty than the anime Misty(from the OS of course).

The best part is they address real life issues like school etc.

Overall the character interactions are funny and Ash does catch few cool Pokemon like Fearow etc.

Now based on this I had an idea.

Spoiler:

Ash is a 10-year old kid who wants to be a Pokemon Master. His first Pokemon will be Pikachu of course, except it won't be the same thing as in the anime or in the manga.(I haven't planned it out yet.)

The character Ash will be the same as the manga. He will mostly be travelling alone instead of a group of three. But Misty, Brock and the other gym leaders and few more characters will keep popping up. And most of all Team Rocket.

I am not planning to have Jessie, James and Meowth but instead Giovanni himself will have several encounters with Ash.

Also Gary will appear a lot more and will be seriously involved. Basically it is a complete rewrite of the OS, except it will have a conclusion.

But the thing is, I am not confident of my writing, so if anyone else wants to take on the project, feel free to inform me. But otherwise, I will write the story by myself(with the help of a beta maybe?)
So do you guys think it's an idea worth trying?

I want to write my stories gere too, so that I may have something to share(I have 3 different stories with 2 notebooks for each, and I wish to write another story here). Well the plot goes like this.

It's a new chapter for Hoenn region. You are a newbie pokemon trainer(let's name it you until I think of a good name). Pokemons from Sinnoh region have weirdly appeared all over, but it wasn't that much of a serious problem. In the midst of peace, a new organization rises. Unlike Magma and Aqua who attempted to control Groudon or Kyogre, this new organization seeks 6 pokemons, the Regi Trio and the Weather Trio.

Well that's all I have to say, I will be the one up to twist it up. I need some feedbacks and the name of course XD. Also, I shall write it in a diary form, but dialogs are something like this:
You: Go Mudkip! Tackle!
Trainer: Uh Poochyena...um..block?

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