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Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Life after the happy ending

Susanne opens up about her life after a very longed for baby finally arrived. Thank you Susanne!

So, what’s life like when you have longed for a baby for so
long, have gone through so much heartache, so much pain. When your life was
consumed for years by the longing for a baby.

What’s it like when you finally have what you wanted all
this time? It’s not something I ever thought about before our daughter was born
(you can ready my story here if you
haven’t already).

And then there she was, and she was beautiful and it was
amazing. And then - and I can’t remember when I first noticed something was not
right – my husband changed. Finally, about 5 months after she was born, he was
diagnosed with depression. He had been there for me all that time, had kept it
together, stayed strong for me. It was as if once she was born, he knew I was
ok and he fell apart. I won’t go into detail, but anyone who has experience of
living with someone with depression knows it’s very hard. He went to get help
and started his road to recovery.

At the same time he was diagnosed, I got an offer for a job.
I’d always planned to leave my old job after I had my baby, and I was truly
lucky with the opportunity I got. It was a strange time – on one hand, I would
have loved to be able to stay at home (we couldn’t afford it), on the other
hand, I was looking forward to getting back to work, simply to get out of the
house.

So I started the new job and threw myself into it. After
years of being consumed by the longing for a baby I felt I had been defined by
everything that happened to us. I felt I
was simply “the girl who had 3 ectopics”, our story, our road to our happy
ending was my only identity. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret being so public
about our story, as so much good has come from it.

But starting a new job, with new people, who got to know me
as ME, not as “my story” was so refreshing, it was so powerful. People didn’t
look at me and think of me as the girl with 3 ectopics, they looked at me and
saw someone who was great at her job. I did, of course over time share parts of
what happened with my colleagues, but it wasn’t what defined me. Throw a bit of
a social life with the colleagues into it, and that was what kept me going - any new mother knows working full time (with
all the guilt that comes with it) and having a baby at home is challenging.
Throw a husband recovering from depression into the mix and you can imagine how
difficult it was.

I absolutely adore our daughter, she’s 2.5 now, changing
every day, and we have so much fun. I enjoy the time with her so much. I also
enjoy my work, I’m good at it, and I feel there are opportunities for me I
never thought I could have. It took me a long time to forgive myself for that –
I spent so many years longing for a baby, I felt I should want to spend every single
minute with her. I felt I had no right to complain when it was tough, so I kept
going, tried to do it all myself. Well,
guess what – it catches up on you. You can only go for so long until you, or
those close to you realise it’s getting too much.

When you are in the middle of your journey, and all you do
is cling on to hope that it will happen for you, you don’t think about what
happens afterwards. When you first find out you are finally pregnant, and
everything is going as planned, you get more and more excited the closer your
due date gets. You don’t think about what happens when the baby is born – you
expect to be deliriously happy and for your life to be suddenly complete. And
in a way, for a while it really was like that. But then normal life resumes,
and for me - for us - that was a bit overwhelming. Finding your
identity again - realising you are not just a mother, but also still a wife, a
friend, an employee, an auntie etc etc – it can take time.

So now I make sure I have time to myself and I don’t feel
guilty for enjoying my job with the odd night away. And I know I’m a better
mother for it. Thankfully my husband has fully recovered too.

Life is good, and with any luck, in a year or two we might
be in a position to see if one of our frozen embryos can grow into a little
brother or sister for our daughter. Who knows what life will bring.

8 comments:

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An amazing testimony on a Native Iya Hindi root and herbs who help me to get pregnant, So me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the last 2 years now. I don’t have a regular cycle so it is hard for me to tell when I’m ovulating or not, but we always have sex at least 3 times a week, sometimes more. I know it can take up to a year to conceive but everyone i know who have had a baby have conceived within 2-3months of trying and it is really getting to me. my partner had a fertility test about a year ago and his sperm were fine. I’m thinking it could be a problem with me but I’ve never had any symptoms of any problems. My partner does smoke and have the occasional drink, and i used to smoke and also have the occasional drink. i know i’m slightly overweight but that shouldn’t affect our chances too much, one faithful day my friend told me to contact Native Iya Hindi that help her sister, then i contact the email. hindinative@yahoo.com,He sent the Herbs to me and gave instruction on method after three weeks the doctor confirm that i am pregnant thank you Native Iya Hindi for helping me get a baby, I am thankful for all he had done. contact him via email:(hindinative@yahoo.com .Or whats App number+19145295224), if you are trying to get a baby.

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Hello everyone am Elizabeth from USA i have been married to my husband for 7years without no issue. on this faithful day, i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr ODIA helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explain what this man did for me. his medicine for pregnancy really help me conceive i noticed i was pregnant, 2 weeks after using the root and herbs he send for me. i am a happy mother today, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email (odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com) This is the solution to every single mother around the world he will surely make your dreams come through, and also give your own testimony.

Hello everyone am Elizabeth from USA i have been married to my husband for 7years without no issue. on this faithful day, i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr ODIA helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explain what this man did for me. his medicine for pregnancy really help me conceive i noticed i was pregnant, 2 weeks after using the root and herbs he send for me. i am a happy mother today, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email (odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com) This is the solution to every single mother around the world he will surely make your dreams come through, and also give your own testimony.

ALL THANKS TO DR ODIA WITH HIS HERBAL ROOT AND HERBS AM COMPLETELY CURED FROM FIBROIDI can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all fibroid patient in the world. i never believed that their could be any complete cure for fibroid with out going for surgery ,i saw people’s testimony on internet on how Dr ODIA prepare herbal root and herbs that shrink there fibroid naturally. i had to try it too i contacted him on: odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com. and him told me how to get his herbal medicine, and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually . Right now i want to tell you all that i just give birth to a baby boy last month,and on till now' i have not had any pain, and i just went for text last week and the doctor confirmed that there is no trace of any fibroid in my system. after 8 year of suffering from fibroid am now free, Glory be to God for leading me to this great Dr ODIA I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no herbal cure for fibroid that is Not true ,just contact him and get cure his email odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com and you will be free and free forever, Try it and you will not regret it because it truly works. i hope to see your testimony soon.

ALL THANKS TO DR ODIA WITH HIS HERBAL ROOT AND HERBS AM COMPLETELY CURED FROM FIBROIDI can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all fibroid patient in the world. i never believed that their could be any complete cure for fibroid with out going for surgery ,i saw people’s testimony on internet on how Dr ODIA prepare herbal root and herbs that shrink there fibroid naturally. i had to try it too i contacted him on: odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com. and him told me how to get his herbal medicine, and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually . Right now i want to tell you all that i just give birth to a baby boy last month,and on till now' i have not had any pain, and i just went for text last week and the doctor confirmed that there is no trace of any fibroid in my system. after 8 year of suffering from fibroid am now free, Glory be to God for leading me to this great Dr ODIA I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no herbal cure for fibroid that is Not true ,just contact him and get cure his email odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com and you will be free and free forever, Try it and you will not regret it because it truly works. i hope to see your testimony soon.

I want to use this opportunity to thank this great holy man called Priest Babaka for what he has done for me and my family. This great man has brought happiness and joy back again to me and my family. Priest Babaka has used his great power to help me bring back my husband within the period of 48 hours and also helped me in getting pregnant with his powerful prayers and after 7 days of applying his herbs.This is more than words can say, at first i didn't believe it but today it is so true and all thanks goes to him. i will advice every one out there that has a similar issue, and also any one who is willing to get his or her lover back and any one who wants to get pregnant quick to contact this wonderful man today and forever remain happy in life. email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priestly.babaka