We got to see a good many things last night and many scenes that will change the way we think about characters from here on out. Below are mine and Cathy’s thoughts, suspicions and theories. Cathy’s words are in normal typeset and mine are in bold. Enjoy and as always there are spoilers galore (both from the show and from the books– I try to give extra warning for book spoilers).

This season is quickly shaping up to be a gigantic game of Clue. We know the weapon, poison. We know the where, the wedding reception. We don’t however know the who.

The Suspects:

Tyrion: Cersei had Tyrion arrested at the end of episode two. He handed Joffrey the cup of wine which is presumably where the poison was. Joffrey pointed to him while he was dying, but being one of the only people in Joffrey’s direct line of sight, that’s not unexpected. My favorite scene from last night’s episode was the scene between Podrick and Tyrion. We now know for sure Tyrion had nothing to do with Joffrey’s poisoning, he says so himself. I believe Tyrion is one of the few characters we can fully believe. Podrick fills Tyrion in on who has been appointed judges for his trial, and confesses that he’s been offered a knighthood if he’ll testify against Tyrion, but staying true to his Lord, Podrick refused. Fearful for what they’ll do to Podrick, Tyrion tells Pod to testify against him, that he doesn’t want Pod to potentially be killed for him.

Cersei has hated Tyrion since their mother died giving birth to him (or did she? As in perhaps Tyrion was the result of an affair and Tywin– this is a long shot, but I’m still throwing it out there). As both Cathy and Tyrion pointed out though if Tyrion was going to kill the King he would have done it in a way that didn’t implicate himself. Tyrion is smarter than that. Oh and I second the statement that the best part of the episode was the scene between Pod and Tyrion.

Olenna Tyrell: Grannie’s been maneuvering her house up through the ranks. Her house is considerably more important now that her granddaughter married the King, and she helped finance part of the war. Now that Joffrey’s dead, she’s protected her granddaughter from a hellish marriage. The only sticking point is Margaery’s status as Queen. The marriage wasn’t consummated yet, so is Margaery really queen? If Olenna was behind the murder, one would think she would have waited and poisoned Joffrey’s breakfast the next morning.

OK I’m going to disagree a little with Cathy here. This is who I think killed Joffery (if only there was an envelope full of cards I could check). She knew what Joffery was and his death BEFORE consummation leaves them in a strong position to negotiate a marriage between her and Tommen. Margaery was able to marry Joffery because her marriage with Renly wasn’t ever consummated and it would be even creepier than it already is for her to marry Tommen if she’s already had sex. Of course we haven’t found out exactly who did this in the books yet so it’s anyone’s guess.

Oberyn Martell: The Lannisters’ men killed his sister. He made it clear from episode one that he wants revenge for his sister’s death. We learned last night that he studied poisons at the Citadel. Did he use his knowledge to kill Joffrey and avenge his sister? He told Tywin he wouldn’t be that obvious, but Joffrey certainly would be a wonderful way to hit the Lannisters where it hurts. In a surprising turn of events, Tywin offers an alliance to Oberyn; however we never see them agree to it. Did Oberyn accept Tywin’s offer, we’ll have to wait to find out.

Oberyn has a serious ax to grind, but I also don’t believe that he would kill Joffery in this fashion. I see him more as someone who would derive more pleasure out of stabbing someone through the heart. Also they Martells hold Cersei’s daughter in Dorne so could inflict more pain that way.

OK I’m going to add some suspects that Cathy didn’t mention.

Mace Tyrell: In the books it is implied that the poison was contained in a hairnet that Sansa got from her fool and that the stone with the poison was removed during the wedding feast and slipped into Joffery’s drink. But what if the poison was in the cup all along, but was covered up by something that had to slowly dissolve? Mace gave him the cup (in the show– I don’t really remember this from the book, but I might have just forgotten this).

Margaery Tyrell: She also knew who Joffery really was and didn’t want to marry him. I feel like she was at least complicit in his murder even if she didn’t put the poison in the cup herself. Of course she came out smelling like a Rose no matter how you look at this.

Littlefinger: Varys once said “Littlefinger would burn the kingdom down if it meant he could sit on a throne of ashes.” Petyr wants power, and we know he’s not afraid to play both sides to get it. I’ve always believed he’s a character that should never be ignored. Even his absence in the story is important. He’s ALWAYS up to something. We learned last night he was behind Dontos sneaking Sansa out of the party. How did he know that something would happen at the party to allow for Sansa to escape? I don’t believe for one second he really cares about helping Sansa get to safety. He has a plan to use her in some scheme to help him get closer to the throne.

Littlefinger is someone that I really really dislike. Every now and then he does something awesome (cause in reality Sansa probably would have died if she had stayed in the capital and then later he will do something with a Moon Door that I also approve of). Mostly everything else that he does is super creepy or to further his own agenda. The show has touched on it, but he was super duper in love with Catelyn and is now trying to fulfill his fantasies through Sansa.

Sansa: Joffrey has terrorized her for years. Did she finally snap? No. She’s an idiot. I feel bad for her, but Sansa’s too stupid to have orchestrated the poisoning. If you’ve read the books, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The show makes her look halfway intelligent. The “real” Sansa is a spoiled moron. She’s definitely been used in the plot to kill Joffrey, she just doesn’t realize it.

Seriously she’s an idiot. I think the reason that watchlings don’t release how horrible she is is that it’s hard to convey that those tortured looks she has are because she’s feeling sorry for herself. Since Arya disappeared she’s spent maybe 30 minutes worried about her and hours and hours blaming her for things. She was sad about her Dad, Mom and brother, but not too bothered. She’s weak. She’s annoying and doesn’t seem like she’s ever going to die.

Is the killer one of these people, a combination of these people, or someone entirely different? One thing’s for sure, it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

There is more to the world than that’s going on in King’s Landing. We see Jon taking more of a leadership role at the wall; Arya’s brief feeling of camaraderie towards the Hound has gone; and Daenerys is off freeing slaves. On that note, let’s all give a slow clap to Daario for his sweet moves last night.

Yummmmmm. For those of you that don’t know Daario Naharis’s knives have naked women on the hilt and he likes to rub and kiss their breasts which Dany finds sexy. I can see why she’s attracted to him. Jorah now? Poor Jorah.

And the only only other thing I can say about Dany is enjoy the story line now because it’s about to get boring.

Also for all you non-readers out there:

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pairs (it seemed like more though didn’t it?)

EDIT!

WARNING– EXTRA SPOILERS

One last thing I forgot to mention. I was disappointed in the scene where Jamie rapes Cersei. In the books it does in fact happen much like that except it isconsensual. Jamie has changed a lot since he was captured and then released by the Starks. This scene with Cersei was kind of a goodbye to his love with her. Also in the books this happened right when he got back. Joffery died during his journey with Brienne so there hasn’t been all this tension between him and his family. That comes later. I just feel like the added rape seriously damages his character. True he’s already thrown a small boy off a tower, but this has jacked it up a notch. I actually felt sorry for Cersei and believe me no one should sympathize with Cersei right now.