Life imitates art

LIFE IMITATES ART — Our “fearless leader” Jonathan Fox, checked out of the nearby Best Western Sunday morning to get over to the club and set up to screen the World Cup finals. As he tossed his hotel key on the end table and went out the door of his room, he was still feeling good about the performance the night before by Seattle native Andrew Sleighter who was back in town from Hollywood.

Andrew had been a real crowd pleaser with a couple signature bits. One concerned the fact that Yelp is now allowing people to rate churches. Another concerned the ramifications of taking his girlfriend to free breakfasts served at hotels where’s he’s not staying.

As he left the hotel lobby with a mind to stop at Starbucks, Fox noticed the hotel cafe and remembered the clerk had mentioned free breakfast was part of the deal of staying there. He tried the door to get in but it was locked so he walked back in and entered the cafe from the lobby.

He was getting some coffee and orange juice when he heard, “Excuse me, are you a guest here?”

Turning around, he found himself facing an imposing black woman with a Jamaican accent coming out from behind the waffle machine.

“Oh yes, I’m staying here,” Fox replied.

“Well, I saw you trying to get in from outside. Can I see you key?”

“Oh,” he replied, nervously patting his pockets, “I left it in my room.”

A look of dubious contempt crossed the woman’s face.

“Can I see you receipt then?”

Fox glanced around and realized he was now the center of attention for a score of octogenarians fresh off their Alaska cruises. Some seemed bemused. Others actually seemed frightened.

“Look, I don’t have any paperwork but I actually did spend the night here.”

The woman crossed here arms.

“I’m sorry but you’re going to have to leave.”

As he skulked out, Fox resisted the temptation to hand out some free passes.