The Jake Ryan, Farmer Ted, Lloyd Dobbler Dating Litmus

At one time or another, we have all faced the Jake Ryan versus Farmer Ted debacle. If you were young when it presented itself, you probably chose superficially and unwisely in the long run. Because lets be honest when you’re under 25 and hormones are running high, a pretty face and a nice chest goes a long, damn way. Oh the superficiality of youth. I do not miss you. Anyways, I was so team Jake Ryan that there was no way to convince me otherwise. But then you grow up and you realize men are more than just Jake Ryan’s and Farmer Ted’s, there’s a few Lloyd Dobbler’s out there and even more Chet’s. But what’s the litmus test? Well, this took place one Valentine’s day and I knew immediately who I married.

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays, only because I love LOVE. Let’s be honest, when I was in high school and it was all about receiving those damn colored carnations…not so much. It used to make my stomach knot and lurch. I’d spend the whole day wondering if I was going to get a carnation? What color would it be? Who would it be from? I knew more than likely there would be no red carnations…the guy I was “in love with” had graduated high school my freshman year. So, as I was doodling on my book covers “D loves J” he was off being a semi somewhat grown up ( granted he was dating a 15 year old so there was that) but he was definitely NOT worrying about sending carnations to my Spanish class, red or otherwise. Of course, there was always the possibility of a white or pink carnation from a friend but there was also a very slim possibility of the illusive red carnation from a “secret admirer”. Hey, it was the 80’s and I had seen one too many John Hughes films. Long story short, I was dating my Jake Ryan, so in all reality any admirer would have probably been more like Anthony Michael Hall’s character, Farmer Ted, but I was 15 and my mind was not fully developed yet. God help me, I didn’t know any better. That WAS Valentine’s Day.

These days, Valentine’s Day is looking into the eyes of my gorgeous little girls and seeing the Big Guy. Valentine’s “Day” is a weekend long celebration filled with chocolates, quality time together, and good food prepared with love by the Big Guy. It’s little unexpected surprises and beautiful pink tulips.It’s knowing with complete and utter certainty that I am exactly where I am supposed to be with the man I was meant to love. It’s being comfortable in my own skin. It’s watching the Big Guy hand out peculiar gifts to his girls (i.e. Squinkies and Chi hairdryers) and smiling because he knows us so well. When he gave the girls Squinkies, I thought OK, not very love day like but they’ll enjoy it.Me, what can I say, I needed a new hairdryer and the one he bought me was like the Dyson of hairdryers.Not romantic but I’ll take it!

But I could not ,for the life of me, understand why he was urging the girls to sample the chocolates before dinner. I was infuriated ” No! Wait until after dinner!” The Big Guy, ” No! It’s just a piece of candy…let them open it NOW!” WTF? I’m not going to lie, I was a little perturbed but since he said it in front of them, I agreed to it. Of course then I had to open the giant heart shaped candy tin for them.

Believe me when I tell you that I was more than a little annoyed that they were about to consume chocolate before dinner. I struggled with it,finally it popped open and there strewn amongst the candy were 3 small pearl colored boxes. Obviously, I thought to myself, what the hell kind of candy is this? I look at him and he has got that huge Big Guy ear to ear grin on. Of course, this is very much like him to make me crazy first. I open a box and inside was a set of diamond and ruby earrings, a ring and necklace.There were three boxes, one for each of his girls. My heart melted.

I love this man every day of any week but it’s these little unexpected things that make me swoon a little deeper.I think he also likes to infuriate me because it kicks the passion level up a notch. So, as the dutiful wife that I am, I will try to oblige. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m sure many more times in our lifetime, the Big Guy is everything..I never knew, I always wanted. I didn’t marry the Jake Ryan who didn’t send me red carnations, and I didn’t marry the Anthony Michael Hall character. The sweet, cute, loyal, lovable character. The thing they never tell you is that Jake Ryan hits 25 and gets fat and bald. The other types of the world, try a little harder and don’t come into themselves until they are in their 20’s.

The Farmer Ted and Lloyd Dobbler types end up hotter, sweeter, sexier and with a lot more to offer a woman than the Jake Ryans.

The only thing that beats a Farmer Ted is, you guessed it the Lloyd Dobbler’s of the world. They are sexy beast, professional type men who treat their daughters like princesses, their wives like queens and their dogs like part of the family.Those my friends are who you grow old with. Those are the smart, witty,funny, successful guys who make great husbands and fathers. I mean what the hell, we all should have known by the boom box in the rain.

The truth is the Farmer Ted’s and Lloyd Dobbler’s of high school grow up to be the Jake Ryan’s of adulthood. I just wish someone told us that in high school. I thank God every day that I opened my heart to my Lloyd Dobbler otherwise known as God’s greatest gift to me. Yes, I did just say that out loud. I’m sure the Big Guy will remind me of it too but I don’t care.

I love you baby! Thanks for letting me love you.Thank you for loving me more than I knew was possible for a man to love a woman. (Oops that may have been me missing the Big Guy and chocolate wine talking) You complete me! ( oh yeah, that had to be the Chocovine talking:)

In all seriousness, the Big Guy rocks my world..13 Valentine’s Days together and every year, he rocks it a little more!So here’s me doing my part to kick the passion up a notch!

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

I'm Deborah, my friends call me Debi, and the Internet has known me as TruthfulMommy. I'm a Latina Blogger, Mom, Wife, writer and I've been called a Social Media Influencer ( hey, I've been called worse ;), originally from Chicago. I have 2 girls and married my best friend, the Big Guy. I love travel, tech, fast cars, fashion and good food. I'm living unapologetically for the first time ever. Life's too short to sugarcoat the truth or be unhappy. Welcome to the TRUTH. Please feel free to leave a comment, I love fresh perspective and intelligent debate.

7 Comments

Love this post. Vday sure has changed the past fifteen years…I definately didn’t get flowers this year, nor did I get lingerie. But, who could beat playing hookie to watch a movie and eating sushi from Trader Joe’s with the kiddos? Life is different, nothing I thought it would be, but WAYYY better than I could have imagined it. Funny thing, life.

I agree. Happiness is where you make it and love is where you find it. I feel that my Valentine’s Days have gotten exponentially better. I like to think they have grown in triplicate, along with my gray hairs from the Big Guy and my girls. Your playing hookie to watch a movie & eating sushi from Trader Joe’s sounds like heaven to me. Life is so much better than I could have imagined it.Glad you had a happy Love day with those you love the most:)

bwahaha the colored carnations and the candy grams! I hated those damn things because you felt like shit when you didn’t get or didn’t get as many as the other kids.

But I totally agree. Valentine’s Day is about the little things and the spending time together. About enjoying each other always and appreciating it all! I wanted to make cards too, but we didn’t have crap at the house! LOL

[…] Why do people feel the need to withhold special treatment hostage for certain days of the year. Wouldn’t we all be better off if we were all just honest with one another and gave our love freely and without restraint, every single day? That’s what Valentine’s Day is about to me, pausing to take the moment to say the words that express the feelings that you have every day. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear it said, or see it written down. Maybe it’s just because I am older, wiser and deeper than I once was. […]

Leave A Comment

Subscribe to the TRUTH

Please enter e-mail

Babble

Copyright 2009 Deborah A Cruz The TRUTH | All Rights Reserved
Deborah Cruz is a Chicago Mom and Latina blogger who writes The TRUTH. Deborah writes about parenting, marriage, the arts, travel, tech and social media.