The new father figure: This is not the Ward Cleaver we grew up with

The family is an essential factor in the raising a child, but society and the changing economic environment have changed the definition of the family.

By Anthony BratinaGraphics Editor

The family is an essential factor in the raising a child, but society and the changing economic environment have changed the definition of the family. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines family as “a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head”; in many of today’s households, however, there is no longer one head, and some of those individuals don’t necessarily live under the same roof. Roles and responsibilities have changed, particularly those of the traditional head of the household: the father.

The modern fatherAccording to Danielle McInerney, CEO and executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of West Alabama, “the father figure has evolved to include more hands-on parenting skills.” She says that fathers today are playing a more active role in the nurturing part of raising a child — a job she jokingly says, “My father-in-law never did.” Larry Deavers, executive director for Family Counseling Service in Tuscaloosa, says there has been a change in the way younger fathers have approached parenting, while the older generation hasn’t adjusted as quickly. “Fathers play a different role today. Fathers are expected to provide the caregiving in the household more and more these days. It’s been a gradual change over the last 30 years.” Deavers says now that women are bearing some of the burdens that used to be associated with the men’s duties in the house, men are taking on some of the traditionally female jobs. “Getting the kids ready for school, helping them with their homework, making sure the they are dropped off for events, cooking dinner for the family, giving baths and reading bedtime stories are a just a few extra things today’s father must do.”

Why such a change?“The norm is now two working parents or a single-parent home” says Lois Palecek, Parent Involvement Specialist at the Community Service Programs of West Alabama, which runs a Fatherhood Initiative program. “Everybody has had to change,” Palecek said. While our society has changed, Palecek says, the child still needs engagement, and parents are doing “whatever it takes” to fulfill those needs. Deavers says that while he believes this change is a move in a positive direction, the transition can be stressful. “Men between (ages) 20 and 40 may have an easier time coping with the change, as they have probably witnessed some of the newer traits in their own fathers. Men between (ages) 40 and 70 who have seen fatherhood in an entirely different way are now being asked to do something they aren’t familiar with, and they will have the hardest time adjusting to the changes.”Deavers says, “Because women are less dependent on men financially, there is little delineation between the man and the woman in the roles today.” He says that while fathers in the past weren’t completely free of supplying emotional support, they are now expected to fill the gap left by working mothers who are no longer always around. The most recent census reports have shown women make up around half of the workforce today, and that around 40 percent of households with children younger than 18 claim the mother as the primary breadwinner. About 15 percent of the primary breadwinners are married mothers.

Is change good?According to McInerney, “The community feels the positive impact when fathers or (male) “bigs” play a stronger role in the family.” Bigs are the volunteer role models in Big Brothers Big Sisters of West Alabama. She also says that with the shake-up of the traditional family structure, more women are choosing to parent alone. “Single-parent households have increased, and so have the needs for children to reach out to other father figures,” McInerney says, adding to the need for more male “bigs.” “We shouldn’t ignore the children who aren’t getting the nurturing,” she says. She says that by working with the children, the “bigs” benefit, too, by learning to appreciate their fathers and gaining valuable lessons in parenting for the future.Palecek says, “Any time fathers are more engaged in the well-being of the child, it is a positive,” and that the father figure today could include any male who has a genuine interest in the well-being of the child.She stresses that the Fatherhood Initiative should be called the “Male Initiative” because of the changing definition of the word “father.”