I'm a good ettiquettehell member, I do not like gift grabs. This one has horrified me.

My aunt recieved an invite to a family wedding and asked me if it really was asking for money as a present as she'd never come across it before.The invite had the time and date and a `cutesy“ poem that informed the guests that money was expected, gold and silver was good but paper was better and that the bag included with the invite was to put the present in.

Jaw, meet floor.

Oh for the love of Deity. My mother wanted me to include a gimmeeee moneee poem into our wedding invitations. Even before eHell, I hated those things!!! This below is the worst thing I have ever seen...

This wishing well before you hereHas a purpose that's pretty clear.Please drop some money into the slot,Please don't skimp on it...make it a lot!We would think it pretty niftyIf it was at least a fifty.After all it cost us lots of moneyTo plan this day and our moon of honey!

It's just greedy!!!!!

Logged

"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter

I'm a good ettiquettehell member, I do not like gift grabs. This one has horrified me.

My aunt recieved an invite to a family wedding and asked me if it really was asking for money as a present as she'd never come across it before.The invite had the time and date and a `cutesy“ poem that informed the guests that money was expected, gold and silver was good but paper was better and that the bag included with the invite was to put the present in.

Jaw, meet floor.

Oh for the love of Deity. My mother wanted me to include a gimmeeee moneee poem into our wedding invitations. Even before eHell, I hated those things!!! This below is the worst thing I have ever seen...

This wishing well before you hereHas a purpose that's pretty clear.Please drop some money into the slot,Please don't skimp on it...make it a lot!We would think it pretty niftyIf it was at least a fifty.After all it cost us lots of moneyTo plan this day and our moon of honey!

It's just greedy!!!!!

I actually literally gasped out loud when I read that. I can't imagine recieving it in a wedding invitation.

My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

My fellow ehellions, I promise if I ever get married, I will never ever ever do anything like this. And if I should make this mistake, please won't one of you shake me and bring me back to sanity? Because seriously... this is insane!

I think my Mum was a tad shocked at my reaction to the money grabbing poem. I just said "NO, no, no, no, please!! I would rather put registry info in with the invites!" We finally agreed on putting the info seperately but in with the invitations. Anyway, I seriously hate those poems.

Thank you eHellions, I don't know what I would do without you!

Logged

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit.Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I'm a good ettiquettehell member, I do not like gift grabs. This one has horrified me.

My aunt recieved an invite to a family wedding and asked me if it really was asking for money as a present as she'd never come across it before.The invite had the time and date and a `cutesy“ poem that informed the guests that money was expected, gold and silver was good but paper was better and that the bag included with the invite was to put the present in.

Jaw, meet floor.

Oh for the love of Deity. My mother wanted me to include a gimmeeee moneee poem into our wedding invitations. Even before eHell, I hated those things!!! This below is the worst thing I have ever seen...

This wishing well before you hereHas a purpose that's pretty clear.Please drop some money into the slot,Please don't skimp on it...make it a lot!We would think it pretty niftyIf it was at least a fifty.After all it cost us lots of moneyTo plan this day and our moon of honey!

It's just greedy!!!!!

I put that through my doggerel-to-English translator, and it came up with this:

"Let's cut to the chase: money. We're putting out a lot of money for this wedding--more than we can afford--and we hope to come out in the black. Actually, we want to come out ahead. We've worked it all out and figure if everyone gives us a fifty, we'll just break even, so that'll be the minimum. Anything less won't rate a thank-you card. The wishing well, people--do you know how to use it?"

Logged

William wondered why he always disliked people who said "no offense meant." Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offense meant" than actually to refrain from giving offense.

<snip>I just don't understand the whole greedy part of getting married. Maybe its because I'm older and it took me longer to find the right guy and went through a lot of wrong guys before him, but isn't getting the spouse and the marriage the ultimate thing to get? No material goods can ever top waking up next to my love and no stuff will ever fill my life like the prospect of my future together with him can. getting married is winning one of life's best lotto's - how greedy to want say "whoo-hoo I have won, I have found the love of my life and they agree and love me back, so many people never find this ever and I found it now... and I want MORE!"

<snip>I just don't understand the whole greedy part of getting married. Maybe its because I'm older and it took me longer to find the right guy and went through a lot of wrong guys before him, but isn't getting the spouse and the marriage the ultimate thing to get? No material goods can ever top waking up next to my love and no stuff will ever fill my life like the prospect of my future together with him can. getting married is winning one of life's best lotto's - how greedy to want say "whoo-hoo I have won, I have found the love of my life and they agree and love me back, so many people never find this ever and I found it now... and I want MORE!"

<stands and applauds>

Yes!

Logged

"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter

I think Sirius already said this, but I really don't get why people *ask* for money.

We didn't ask for anything, no wedding list, nothing. If people asked us what we wanted, we said, "we don't really need anything, if you'd really like to get us something then you could make a donation to the charity of your choice in our honour".

Some people did that. Some people gave us tangible gifts. And some people gave cash. More than enough cash to pay for a lovely honeymoon (the total was well into the £XXXX.XX amount).

So if people really want cash, don't say anything at all. Same result, and happy guests who've given their choice of gift.

I think Sirius already said this, but I really don't get why people *ask* for money.

We didn't ask for anything, no wedding list, nothing. If people asked us what we wanted, we said, "we don't really need anything, if you'd really like to get us something then you could make a donation to the charity of your choice in our honour".

Some people did that. Some people gave us tangible gifts. And some people gave cash. More than enough cash to pay for a lovely honeymoon (the total was well into the £XXXX.XX amount).

So if people really want cash, don't say anything at all. Same result, and happy guests who've given their choice of gift.

I'd venture to say that some people are just plain greedy, but it's not always that--I went through this with my now-DH, whose character is frankly impeccable.

We live overseas, but our wedding was in the U.S., and it just drove him crazy to think that well-meaning guests would give us tangible gifts. I got it to an extent--between shipping and customs those gifts would cost us money, and they could theoretically cost us a lot.

I believed that we could solve the problem by just not registering--I assumed that people would take the cue and either skip the gift or give some money, especially since they all knew we lived so far away. DH absolutely did not agree. He was positive that a substantial number of invitees would pick out some lovely-but-bulky thing instead, and since we hadn't registered they would all be from different stores, making returns a pain if we just couldn't handle the cost of shipping. In other words, he felt that the cost if I turned out to be wrong outweighed the rudeness of directing people who asked about gifts toward money.

And the fact is that he--we--did want money. Not in a "people who come to our wedding owe us and should cover their plate" way at all, but in a "money is a nice thing to have" sort of way. We weren't hurting for money or trying to recoup costs, but...well, who couldn't find a use for a gift of cash? The difference was that, while I'd been trained from an early age never to acknowledge that (even typing it here feels horrible!), his family has always talked openly about money and had a long-standing tradition of requesting specific gifts from each other. From his point of view it really wasn't different from what he'd always thought of as fine...and I was cutting off my nose to spite my face.

(After numerous meltdowns, we settled for creating a registry in our country of residence--although even with a great tutorial only a handful of people braved that website. Most did end up giving money...and we still got a huge box's-worth of assorted beautiful things, most of which are still in my parents' house five years later. DH asks me about it whenever we argue about a point of etiquette. )

I'm a good ettiquettehell member, I do not like gift grabs. This one has horrified me.

My aunt recieved an invite to a family wedding and asked me if it really was asking for money as a present as she'd never come across it before.The invite had the time and date and a `cutesy“ poem that informed the guests that money was expected, gold and silver was good but paper was better and that the bag included with the invite was to put the present in.

Jaw, meet floor.

Oh for the love of Deity. My mother wanted me to include a gimmeeee moneee poem into our wedding invitations. Even before eHell, I hated those things!!! This below is the worst thing I have ever seen...

This wishing well before you hereHas a purpose that's pretty clear.Please drop some money into the slot,Please don't skimp on it...make it a lot!We would think it pretty niftyIf it was at least a fifty.After all it cost us lots of moneyTo plan this day and our moon of honey!

It's just greedy!!!!!

I see you hold your riches dearAnd we do too, so to make it clear:From our gift to you, we must deductThe cash we spent to wish you luck.New outfits and our hotel roomWeren't paid for by the bride and groom.Our babysitter charged a lotWe had to pay for a parking spot.There's new wear and tear on our car;Add the tolls and gas to come so far.Subtracted from our intended gift,This dollar bill is all that's left.