Slumbering for years beneath the ground, this desiccated husk arises from its tomb to feast upon human brains.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Yeeaaaaaah....

You can always tell when there’s a crisis around here. I was talking to one of the Enterprise guys (he plays WoW) for a bit, then walked through the server rooms and came back to my desk. Complete atmosphere change out here; I overheard an “I thought I had..” excuse as I walked by. Apparantly they messed up again out there. I’d recommend less time sleeping and more time paying attention in the future, but that’s just me. Anyway, I haven’t been writing much lately, been in a funk. I did come up with some random stuff last Friday I’ll post at the end here. The first movie I’m watching here on the new monitors is Office Space; so amazingly appropriate. Also in the same vein is an awesome book, Company, by Max Barry. Anyone that’s ever worked in any sort of corporate environment can relate, and it’s got a few good twists in the story to boot.

I came up with this gem after having an issue with one of our clients, Schwab. Sha-waaab. Yeah.

Yarr Shwabbby Cotton balls squeal in antiseptic delight, awaiting the fruition of their existence. Bloodily absorbing fresh wounds, they retreat to multiply in the dark, humid confines of the garbage. Bursting from the plastic confine, they messily crush the hapless sanitation worker into the pavement and roll down the sidewalk, leaving a trail of viscera. Brave firemen wielding flamethrowers stand nervously at attention in their path, a desperate bid to save the rest of the city. Flames embrace the errant balls, charring their surfaces black. The men raise their weapons in the air, celebrating victory over the cottony balls of death, until a shredding sound interrupts them mid-cheer; clawing from the oozing centers rise three nougat caramel chews, wreathed in the flames of hell. They boil the gasoline in the firemen’s own canisters, which violently explode in turn. Gurgling liquid chocolate, the hell candies torch the rest of the city, eventually collapsing in a pool of melted caramel as their own fires squelch them into oblivion.