Your head’s pounding. Your stomach’s turning. You feel like you never want to drink again. Since you can’t take back the night, what can you do to recover today? Have a Bloody Mary? Have sex? Go back to sleep? What really works? Find out the truth about hangover remedies. Plus: Could you have a drinking problem?

Five rum and Cokes last night, and no wonder you’re hung over. You probably have one or more of these unpleasant symptoms: headache, nausea, weakness, dizziness, upset stomach, diarrhea, loss of appetite, excessive thirst, shaking and dry mouth.

A hangover is your body’s response to being poisoned by all those alcohol toxins. It’s telling you that you’ve consumed more booze than you can metabolize efficiently. The alcohol byproduct acetaldehyde and alcohol impurities called cogeners are largely to blame for your misery. You probably exacerbated it by drinking on an empty stomach, drinking dark liquors and/or drinking too quickly.

Have we made your headache worse with all this scientific talk? Here’s what you really want to know – the real cures for a hangover.

Hangover Remedy #1 – Eat Asparagus
Sounds odd, doesn’t it? But the amino acids and minerals in asparagus extract help your body metabolize alcohol quicker. Plus, they protect the liver cells against toxins, such as alcohol. These findings were reported in the Journal of Food Science, based on a 2009 study by Jeju National University in South Korea and the Institute of Medical Science.

Go for the leaves, not the shoots, because that’s where “the amino acid and mineral contents were found to be much higher,” lead researcher B.Y. Kim said in a statement.

Hangover Remedy #2 – Try Soda Water or a Sprite
Well, this may not really be a remedy – yet (lab results have to be tested in real life). But Sprite for a hangover would be easy to swallow, pun intended. Chinese scientists at Sun Yat-Sen University in Guangzhou found in 2013 that the beverages can break down acetaldehyde, a byproduct of metabolized alcohol that can lead to nausea, headache and vomiting.

Hangover Remedy #3 - Drink Water First, let’s tackle dehydration. Alcohol is a diuretic, which means you lose a lot of water when you drink. As a result, your liver and kidneys can’t process the alcohol properly to rid your body of toxins. Gulping gallons of water won’t cure your hangover, but it will rehydrate you and make you feel better.

What about “Hair of the dog that bit you” – drinking more of the previous night’s potion? Don’t do it. Not only will your stomach beg for mercy, but you’ll delay the inevitable hangover symptoms, no matter how much better you feel in the short-term.

Avoid coffee, too. While caffeine may put pep in your step, it’s also a diuretic, which will leave you even more dehydrated. Stick with water or a sports drink to restore the electrolytes you lost last night. Or try a Virgin Mary (Bloody Mary sans vodka); tomato juice is high in fructose, which helps your body metabolize alcohol faster.

Hangover Remedy #4 - Take AspirinAvoid acetaminophen, found in over-the-counter medications such as Tylenol. When taken with alcohol or to nurse a hangover it can cause liver damage. Ibuprofen doesn’t mix well with alcohol either. It can cause stomach irritation and bleeding, especially when you continually use it to treat hangovers or take more than the recommended dosage.

So, what can you take? Try aspirin for your headache if you’re not too queasy (it can be hard on a sensitive stomach and just like acetaminophen and Ibuprofen, can cause stomach irritation and bleeding with prolonged use). It’s non-caffeinated and is a prostaglandin inhibitor (generally, your level of prostaglandins – hormone-like fatty acids that affect your blood pressure, body temperature, and metabolism – are already elevated during a bad hangover).

Two more good bets: B vitamins (especially B6) help your body metabolize alcohol. And prickly pear extract, found at health-supplement stores, relieves dry mouth and nausea by reducing inflammation caused by cogeners.

Hangover Remedy #5 - Have SexThe best help for your hangover might be lying next to you. Sex releases endorphins, which reduce hangover symptoms. Skeptical? Try it anyway!

Or go for a run if your body can handle it. Exercise increases circulation and speeds those toxins out of your body.

Try all these remedies, but remember that you’re only easing the symptoms, not curing them. Time is the only true cure for a hangover – that’s what it takes for the alcohol to leave your body. So, if you’re lucky enough to be hung over on the weekend, grab a blanket and a glass of water and go back to bed.

Hangover Remedy #6 - Prevent the Next One Hangovers are like pregnancies: The only way to avoid them is abstinence. But if you can’t resist that raspberry margarita or forgo your evening nightcap, follow these five hangover-prevention tips:

1. Don’t go drink-for-drink with guys: Alcohol hits women faster than men for a number of reasons. We’re smaller, we have more body fat, and we produce less of the alcohol-metabolizing enzyme dehydrogenase.

2. Go light: The darker the alcohol, the more toxic. That’s because brown and amber liquors like dark rums, brandy, whiskey, tequila, and red wine contain more cogeners than clear ones. Your best bets: vodka, gin and white wine.

3. Choose quality: Order Kettle One or Grey Goose instead of cheaper brands to reduce your chances of a hangover. They have fewer impurities.

4. Never mix and match: “Liquor before beer, don’t fear?” Not necessarily. The carbonation in beer can speed your body's alcohol-absorption process, getting you drunk quicker. Same goes for liquor mixed with soda. If you’re not a beer drinker, it’s best to stick with one type of alcohol to avoid mixing the different levels of cogeners found in different alcohols.

5. Eat, drink, then be merry: Having something substantial in your stomach before you hit the bar will slow your rate of alcohol absorption. Carbs and fatty foods work best. And drink lots of water before you down the booze. Ask the bartender or your host for a glass of water between each cocktail to hydrate you and slow your pace.

While you probably felt fabulous ringing in the holiday, it’s no fun nursing a hangover the next day. So remember our tips next time and drink in moderation.

Do You Drink Too Much?Savoring one or two glasses of wine is fine when you dine out occasionally, but what about two with every dinner? Could your love of Chardonnay be a sign that your drinking habits are over the top? Answer these drinking quiz questions honestly to find out.