Tag Archives: veterans

6 Essential Qualities for Military & Business Success

2-½ minutes to read

Over the last decade, the number of veterans in business has declined. Despite many programs supporting veteran entrepreneurship, not much has changed. While not every military person will start a business, I bet you have the six essential qualities of entrepreneurial success…

The Qualities You Can’t Hire

Self-Motivated. I’ve never met a successful business owner whose drive came from someone else. Counting on a desire for wealth or fame for motivation sets you up for failure. You need to want business success for its own sake.

Inner Moral Compass. You’ll have lots of temptations when you have your own business. People will give you rationalizations for doing shady or outright unethical things. If you succumb, you’ve put your company on a shaky foundation. A strong sense of right and wrong will protect you.

Curious. No matter how sound your idea and plan, things will go wrong. And you won't have all the knowledge and ideas necessary to succeed. Learning from others allows you to avoid common mistakes and unseen pitfalls.

Tenacious. Giving up can't be an option for a business owner. Failure has to be the stimulus to try again. Tie tenacity to curiosity. Then you’ll have a new option to try when the previous one didn't work.

Team Player. Most small businesses start with the owner as the only employee. But you’ll still need to create a team. Unpaid advisors will fill in gaps in your knowledge. And you’ll have to have an accountant and lawyer. From that perspective, you're a team captain. Evaluate their advice and adapt your plan.

Competitive Spirit. You have to like to win. Many prospective entrepreneurs look for an area without competitors. They think having the market to themselves means an easier road to success. But lack of rivals may also mean your idea isn't viable. Where successful businesses already operate, opportunity is present. Continual, incremental innovation gives you the competitive advantage.

The typical business owner works 40-49 per week. Eighty-one percent work nights and 89% work weekends. That may be because they can make more money working after hours. Many owners work a regular job while they start their business. Also, they may take kids to school and attend their sporting events during the weekday.

Sixty percent of business owners pay themselves $50,000 or less per year. Thirty percent make nothing. Ten percent make $75,000 or more. Another way of looking at your salary as an entrepreneur is:

Entry level (0-5 years) - $50,000 - $60,000 per year

Mid-career (5-20 years) – $70,000 per year

Experienced (20+ years) - $100,000 per year

Most people think business success hinges on having a great idea. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Your success will come because you have the necessary traits. And it matches your desired lifestyle. Taking the plunge into entrepreneurship requires serious thought. Now you know what to consider…

Have you thought about starting a business?

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Do You Distinguish Direct from Offensive Communication?

Over the last decade, I’ve noticed a softening in the military. You don’t hear as much shouting. Repetitive “training” has replaced verbal correction. Special Forces still train tough. But regular units’ training has become more like what you see in the civilian world. Frustration has to be expressed gently…

The Purpose of Being Offensive

Its more direct style of communication makes military life seems tougher. But the days of offending someone to test his mettle are long gone. Likewise, G-d rarely permits insulting behavior. One of the few cases, in Parshas Bo, has a special purpose:

“…on the 10th of this month, they will take for themselves, each man, a lamb or a kid for the household…” (Shemos/Exodus 12:3)

Prior to bringing the tenth plague, the Almighty commanded Moses to have each Israelite household prepare a sacrifice. Like all offerings, it had to be free from blemishes for the four days before its slaughter.

Usually, the purchaser of an animal could rely on the seller to examine it. But the owner of this offering, known as the Pesach or paschal lamb, had to tie it to his bed beginning on the 10th day of the Hebrew month of Nissan. Each householder inspected his own animal.

The Egyptians worshipped lambs and kids. So it aroused their curiosity seeing the Israelites tie their gods to a bed. When they asked for a reason, the Jews told them they would sacrifice the animals on the 14th of Nissan. Outrageous declared the Egyptians!

But because the Almighty protected the Israelites, they couldn’t harm them.

Let G-d Teach the Lessons

You might think G-d wanted to exalt the Israelites by letting them sacrifice Egypt’s gods. In reality, He wanted Egypt to learn they worshipped false gods. If their slaves could slaughter lambs and kids with impunity, these animals had no power.

Simon and Levi killed the hated Shemites. Shechem had raped Dinah. He was liable to harsh punishment. But neither he nor his people denied G-d like Pharaoh did. So a death sentence on all of the people was wrong.

Pinchas killed Cozbi and his mistress for enticing the Israelites to worship the Ba’al. The Almighty rewarded him for sustaining His honor.

Aspects of civilian life may offend you. A civilian may push your buttons. But people don't do this with the intent of denying G-d. There’s no cause for offending them. When the urge to scold them strikes consider: Are you defending the Almighty’s honor or yourself…

How do you keep your cool when civilians do stupid things?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Are You Wasting Your Time Getting Certifications?

2-½ minutes to read

Certifications top most veterans’ list of important job qualifications. But recall you didn't have any when entered the military. Success came from your attitude. Recruits who absorbed the military ethos and gained expertise succeeded. Those who didn't washed out…

The Pivotal Factor for Reintegration

Two types of sailors come through WTP Sembach. You might think the divide follows one of these lines:

Active vs. reserve component

Enlisted vs. officer

Single vs. married

These divisions define the challenges they’ll face reintegrating. But none of them indicates whether a sailor makes a successful transition.

The Officer-in-Charge and I considered young vs. old as being the relevant distinction. But many redeployers in their mid-40s to early 50s soak up all we have to teach them. They report overcoming significant hurdles in the few days they spend with us.

The crusty old senior chief sitting in the back of the room didn’t seem to be paying attention. But when I asked him about his experience with sailors in grief his posture changed. For the rest of the workshop he sat up, his body tilted forward, engaged.

That’s when the answer struck me. The actual division is open vs. closed. Sailors’ age, rate/rank, and marital status don't matter. Their openness to learning and growing is all that counts.

To Get Certifications or Not

Another conversation exposed a different barrier. The person indicated only certain licenses and degrees confer expertise. Otherwise, no matter how much experience someone has in a field, a smart person’s thoughts are as valuable.

In America, many people consider claiming expertise to be egotistical or undemocratic. Tom Nichols wrote about this issue in The Death of Expertise: The Campaign Against Established Knowledge and Why it Matters. But if you have greater knowledge and experience in a field, saying so is a matter of fact. Having such expertise doesn't make you better than other people. It makes you more qualified to engage or lead in a field.

There aren’t certifications for most of what you learned and did in the military. If you don't recognize expertise without certifications backing it up, you have nothing to sell but your labor. As a commodity, labor is worth no more than about $45,000 a year. These days, for positions with the most income and growth potential, companies want demonstrated leadership ability and problem-solving expertise. Degrees don’t matter.

Companies don't fire older workers because they’re old. They get rid of them because younger workers can do the same job for less money. Older workers who throughout their careers increased their expertise and leadership ability have become more valuable to the company. Younger people can’t replace them because they haven't had enough time to achieve a similar level. Such older workers not only get retained, they continue to advance.

The military works the same way. At the E5/E6 level, technical knowledge growth has peaked. Going forward, the ability to train, mentor, and lead is what counts. Service members who don't move beyond technical mastery face high-year tenure.

Do you believe you can succeed in civilian life even as you resist change? Do you think only certifications prove expertise? These two beliefs will prevent you're getting a high-paying job you’ll love.

Change them, and your ideal job awaits you…

In what area does your knowledge exceed most people’s?

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Do You Feel Like You’re Being Punished by Your Problems?

When things go wrong, why do they hit our most vulnerable spots? Wouldn't it be nice if once in a while life threw a softball? We never have too much time to transition. Nor do we get to choose between two private sector jobs with higher than expected salaries. It’s like we’re getting punished…

G-d Doesn't Punish People

Reintegrating to civilian life is chaotic. Many people want to help but don't know how. Others couldn't care less about you. After a while, it seems you're beset by plagues. Now, you're no Pharaoh. But the way G-d dealt with him in Parshas Va’eira will clue you into what’s going on:

“…behold, with the staff that is in my hand I will strike the waters that are in the river, and they will change to blood.” (Shemos/Exodus 7:17)

Pharaoh failed to heed Moses's message to let the Children of Israel leave Egypt. So the Almighty brought plagues to get him to change his mind. And so they went: Blood, frogs, lice, wild beasts, pestilence, boils, and hail.

Each looks like a harsh punishment of Pharaoh and his people. Living through them must have been torture. But despite their appearance, G-d sent the plagues so the Egyptians would take certain lessons to heart.

In the first plague, the Almighty turned all the water in Egypt to blood. Pharaoh had proclaimed himself a god. But a deity doesn’t need to perform bodily functions. To keep his people from finding out he was human, he waded into the Nile River to relieve himself.

When the river turned to blood, Pharaoh could no longer hide. He should have learned humility when his people realized he wasn’t a god. But he didn’t.

The first plague also sent the people a message. The Nile was the key to Egypt’s economic life. When it turned to blood, they couldn’t water their crops. Their king-god had no power to prevent their financial ruin.

If they had learned this lesson, they would have lost some money. But they would have avoided a great deal of suffering from future plagues.

Make Sure You're Solving the Right Problem

Because they enslaved the Israelites, the Egyptians deserved punishment. G-d could have justified destroying them. Instead, He sent the plagues so they would examine specific aspects of their behavior. Had the Egyptians learned mercy and humility, the Almighty wouldn’t have sent more plagues.

The things that go wrong in your life or transition are messages from G-d. He wants you to focus your attention on an issue or behavior. Before solving a problem, consider:

1. Why. What is the reason this particular thing happened? You may come up with several reasons. Chose the one that relates to your weakest spot.

2. Clues. What signs has the Almighty given you about how he wants you to handle the challenge? They may not be obvious. But G-d never gives you a problem you’re not equipped to handle.

3. Solve. Choose a course of action that aligns with the reason you received the challenge. If you’re struggling to find a job, the solution may have nothing to do with finding work. Changing job-hunt tactics (especially if you're using my 5 Steps to a High-Paying Job) won't solve your problem. That’s why the first two steps are crucial to moving forward in a productive way.

You're not deserving of punishment like Pharaoh and the Egyptians. But their downfall can help you. When bad things happen, search for G-d’s message about how you need to change.

What problem have you had trouble figuring out?

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Every year beginning on Simchas Torah, the cycle of reading the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, ends and begins again. Each Sabbath a portion known as a sedra or parsha is read. It is named after the first significant word or two with which this weekly reading begins.

Do you have a question about the Old Testament? Ask it here and I will answer it in a future Parsha Nugget!

Do You Think Your Marriage has a Communication Problem?

2 minutes to read

Having been away from their spouse for up to a year, most of the sailors coming through WTP recognize the challenge posed by reconnecting. Even with tools like Facetime and Skype, distance develops. Wives and husbands at home take on new roles. Deployers’ lives gain new dimensions. Often they can’t talk about how they came about. Bridging this gap taxes everyone’s patience…

Communication Isn't the Issue

Many of the sailors I work with are having trouble coping with their spouses. They’re not home yet. But some are already locked in a power struggle. An issue has become contentious. Now they’re trying to convince their spouse they’re correct.

Whatever connection they had begins to deteriorate or is lost. They assume communication is the problem. They want advice or tips to better deal with this issue. But in many cases, they’re communicating well.

The real issues are commitment and perception. Having been apart for so long, each spouse feels like an individual rather than half of a marriage. As well, they don’t have the visual clues and shared experiences that support understanding. Such deterioration is inevitable. And because it happens over time, you won't notice the change.

Words get filtered through perceptions. You can say something five different ways. But that may not change how your spouse perceives it. Until you both recalibrate perspectives, understanding will remain elusive.

Research shows that communication skills do not predict marriage satisfaction. (Think about all the counselors who get divorced.) When reconnecting, start by revitalizing your commitment. Then reset your perceptions.

3 Steps to Reconnecting with Your Spouse

"We-ness” best predicts a satisfying marriage. Couples who view their marriage as a joint endeavor solve issues better. They also enjoy time together more. Use this process for reconnecting:

1. Prepare. Listen to how you refer to you and your spouse. Do say “you and me”? Changing the pronoun to “we” will make a big difference in your reunion.

2. Renew. Commitment forms the foundation of your marriage. With your spouse, plan a tangible way to reaffirm your bond. It needn’t be a second honeymoon or expensive event. Go somewhere special where you can be alone. Send the kids to a friend's house and spend time at home just the two of you. Don’t plan on sex. If the mood’s right it will happen.

3. Rebuild. Talk about each other’s experiences while you were gone. Strive to understand what your spouse has been through. Ask questions about how your spouse felt during an event. There may be things you can't tell your partner. Is it a matter of OPSEC or do they make you feel too vulnerable? Rebuild the touch points of accurate perceptions.