Prince William popped the question! He asked Kate Middleton to marry him! The press can no longer call her Waity Katie!

The wedding will take place in London next year! Run in the streets screaming and pulling your hair out! This is the most important engagement of our times! According to a statement:

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"Prince William and Miss Middleton became engaged in October during a private holiday in Kenya. Prince William has informed the queen and other close members of his family. Prince William has also sought the permission of Miss Middleton's father. Following the marriage, the couple will live in north Wales, where Prince William will continue to serve with the Royal Air Force."

They've kept it a secret since October?!?! Where is the ring??? OMFG ROYAL WEDDING HURRY AND GET YOUR THIMBLE WITH KATE'S FACE ON IT. [CNN, The Sun, BBC]

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In other couples news, Jake Gyllenhaal spent $165,000 on a private jet so that he could hang out with Taylor Swift. [News.com.au]

Jessica Simpson is not getting a prenup?! WTF. Nick Lachey got $10 million of her cash in their divorce. But she's a "hopeless romantic" and hasn't set something up with her new fiancé, Eric Johnson. According to this report, Jessica's dad, Joe Simpson, "is going to do everything in his power to make sure Jessica doesn't walk down the aisle until Eric signs away any right he might have to Jessica's enormous fortune." [Pop Eater]

Jessica Simpson wants to "beat Nick to the altar," so she might have a "big and elaborate" Christmas or New Year's wedding. According to an unnamed/unsubstantiated source. [Showbiz Spy]

More wedding news! Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's nuptials will take place in December. It will happen at Lionel Richie's Beverly Hills home; Christina Aguilera and Samantha Ronson will be there; Harlow will be the flower girl. [Radar Online]

Now that Harry Potter is ending, Emma Watson is happy and liberated and rides the subway. [Showbiz Spy]

Groan-inducing headline of the day: "Willow Palin - Will Sarah Palin's Daughter Be The Next Teen Mom?" [Hollywood Life]

Michael Lohan Junior will play a heroin-addicted kid in a feature film produced by Dina Lohan. Just let that sink in. [TMZ]

"We'd been together 26 years when we were legally allowed to get married in California. We went and did it, and we both agree it had a power, an importance to us in our lives that we can't really put into words, but that is totally palpable and intrinsic to who we are." — David Hyde Pierce, aka Dr. Niles Crane, on marrying his partner, Brian Hargrove. [Pop Eater]

"I thought it was going to be like a soft, sensual sort of moment, and it was this very vigorous kissing scene… She really went for it, I have to say. It caught me slightly off guard, but yeah, I'm not complaining. Many men would lose a limb to be in that position, so I was absolutely fine with it." — Daniel Radcliffe says Emma Watson kissed him "like an animal" for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. [Huffington Post]