It was reported this afternoon that John McCain called a pig, wearing lipstick, “a trollop and a cunt.” The pig, pictured below, had no comment.

"Please don't shoot me Sarah"

Correction and update: Apparently it is now being reported that John McCain did not call the pig “a trollop and a cunt.” In fact, he called Rudy “9/11″Giuliani “a trollop and a cunt.” In our defense, they do look a lot alike and are both wearing lipstick (see photo below).

"...happy birthday 9/11, happy birthday to you"

The former Mayor and current President of 9/11 was unavailable for comment due to her his getting ready for 9/11’s 7th birthday.

Correction and update: Apparently John McCain did not call either the pig or Rudy “a trollop and a cunt.” In fact, he called a pitbull, pictured below wearing lipstick, “a trollop and a cunt.”

"I'm gonna kill that pig"

The pitbull was unavailable for comment due to her being in a mock POW camp.

Correction and Update: Turns out he called his wife, pictured below, “a trollop and a cunt” not the pig, the pitbull or Rudy.

"Whaaat? Speak up sonny I can't hear you..."

Cindy McCain, the wife of John McCain, either had nothing to say or could not hear our questions.