A guys guide for gift giving and card signing for Valentines Day/ holidays.

This guide is for everyone, whether in a new relationship or an established one.

1. Just met, you like her but it’s very new.

The gift:

Get something you know she likes from a shop you know she goes to. You are not expected at this phase to buy “the perfect” gift, just one that shows you have at least been paying a little attention. Also if you get it wrong she can return it and get something she likes better at her favorite shop. You must get a card, something cute and funny will do.

2. New relationship 3-6 months, you are exclusive (you really like her)

The gift:

This gift should show some thought, because it is probably the first fill in the holiday you are spending together. Again, pay attention to things she sees or mentions while you are shopping or ask one of her friends if you have access to them. It may be an accessory item, a handbag, scarf or silver jewelry with a stone or charm she likes or has special meaning to her. She will really think it sweet if you remember something she mentioned or saw while you were together. If all else fails these are the gifts that most women would like this season:

– Princess perfume by Vera Wang, classy and you will like it too. – Pretty necklaces and bracelets with semi-precious stones are totally in style and ones with a message that is personal to you/her is thoughtful. Sold in many mall shops.

– A spa/massage treatment is always a great gift, thoughtful and shows you care how hard she works. Popular spa’s are Bliss Spa, Sephora, Ulta offer spa treatments. Look up local spa’s they usually run specials for Valentine’s Day.

– Victoria’s Secret is a favorite but you can get more creative than that, right guys?

The message:
– Write at least a paragraph about how you feel about her, how she makes you feel or whatever you are feeling at the time.
– This is the time to be vulnerable but if you are not ready to say “Love” you don’t have to.

3. 6-12 months, you are either in love, falling in love or already declared your love.

The gift:
– A weekend getaway is ideal. Bed and Breakfasts, Hotels and Ski Resorts have last-minute deals, but there is nothing like pre-planning.
– Pamper her with a romantic dinner and run a tub or hot tub if you can arrange it. Bring flowers and candy too, it decorates the room and makes it special. – Maybe a CD of music for a romantic evening. This is the perfect time to seal the deal guys; it’s fill in the holiday and BECAUSE it is corny and cheesy tell her you love her. Secretly we love cheesy and sappy during the holidays if we are in love.

– Jewelry is a safe bet here.

– Also you can bridge the “I am falling in love with you,” if you have not reached it just yet, (or if you are a wimp because nobody “thinks” they feel love for someone, this is one you KNOW.) but whatever, go at your own pace.

The message:
Spill it. You love this woman and you want to keep her indefinitely. A full paragraph with your heart racing with nervousness is what I am talking about. Trust me, the pay off will be worth it. If this is where you are with a woman showing it during the holidays is the only way to go. Even if she says she doesn’t care, DO NOT LISTEN. Just say it, most of us are not Shakespeare, women know, they don’t care how you say it, just that you do, and in this case write it too.

Signing the card:

All my love, Bob

Love you, Bob (playful)

I love you with all my heart, Bob (serious)

Oh I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I love you, Bob

I love you and want you to be my wife, Bob (Just in case)

Whatever you do this fill in the holidaywith your new babe or your fiancé, have fun, laugh as much as you can, and let love in. Try not to let the stress that always seems to accompany the big days get in the way of your enjoyment. Remember, many fights around this time are due to circumstances beyond your control: i.e. planning, travelling, and just the anticipation that the holidays will work out perfect. This is not the case and is quite rare, so be prepared for some hairy moments and always try to keep a sense of humor.

Please feel free to ask questions if there is something I missed and/or you have a unique situation that does not fit into these three headings. I will be glad to help you get this fill in the holiday right.

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Wow.. so much work, when two tickets for a weekend in New York can cut through all the red tape and make the toughest of girls melt in your hand. Romance is like a sharp edged sword and can be wielded both deftly and bluntly, it’s not a skill, it’s an art form, so practise carefully.

Hey butterfly tried calling you…you never pickup, dont even know if you have the same number. Please stay in touch it means alot to me to see how you are..give me a call…..hope you are well and keep up the good work I like your stuff 🙂

These are useful tips, but I feel I should warn you that it is NOT a good idea to buy someone perfume unless you know what kind she wears. Just because other women like it does not mean YOUR woman will like it.

The most important thing to remember when choosing a gift for someone you care about, whether you are a man or a woman, is to pay attention to what the person for whom you are buying likes. Showing that you have actually put some thought into a gift means more than how much you spend, and demonstrates that the relationship is important to you.

Wow, I love these tips! What do you get for someone who you’ve been talking to for a year on email (and now phone a bit), and who you realize you’re probably in love with now (and who you haven’t met yet?)…oh wait, maybe now I’m wondering about the “girl’s” guide..

I wish I coulda read this a couple days ago! Man o man did i completely underestimate this holiday. Does it really mean that much to you girls? I tried to be cute and somewhat playful, and she got me a pair of Jordans!!! For an uptown girl who wants to be spoiled, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sweep this girl off her feet. I’ve got a lot to learn. Needless to say she’s a little upset, and all a brotha can do is make promises for the future and show my appreciation.