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I posted a few weeks ago about my own dog (and the advice was great, and is working), and now I am posting on behalf of my friend. I apologise in advance for the wall of text, but it’s a little complex. She has a 5 year-old chocolate Labrador, who has some very problematic habits, and is now beginning to show some rather worrying behaviour, and I’d love any advice. My friend adores her dog though, and is desperate to ensure that he is well-behaved. She will definitely not re-home him.

Some background: the dog is almost certainly from a puppy-mill, and had major health problems early in his life. My friend is disabled, and she nursed him through his ill-health. They have an enormously strong bond. Up until he was a year old, she made sure to socialise him with other dogs, as much as possible. When he was a year old, she met someone and married almost instantly, and last year, they moved here. Unfortunately, this marriage is not a healthy one. My friend is disabled, and her spouse is emotionally very abusive. I mention this because, the dog is very emotionally bonded to my friend, and I think that her pain, and the aggression in the atmosphere at home, has had an extremely detrimental effect on him. The spouse refuses to walk him, has forbidden my friend to let me walk him, and my friend can only do so sporadically, owing to her health issues. He is a very big dog anyway, and the lack of exercise means that he is very heavy, and he is also very strong. My friend will whenever she can, tie him to her scooter and scoot along with him. When this happens, he pulls on the leash so hard it sounds like he’s choking. I believe he thinks he has to pull her along, like he’s a cart-horse. He has no concept of space, and will stretch out his lead as far as he can, taking up nearly the whole path, which is dangerous for cyclists and other users of the path. Whenever they stop, he barks, loudly and continuously, until they set off again. His barking carries over to whenever he’s in the house – when anyone walks past, when someone comes to the door, when he’s shut in another room. He has an extremely loud and deep bark, and I’m worried that someone will complain to the council about noise. Certainly, in public, it’s deeply embarrassing, and I believe could get my friend into trouble – it definitely means she can’t take him out shopping or to cafes, despite him acting as service dog in some ways (not trained as one, sadly). My own dog is beginning to do the same, so I want to nip that in the bud (and have taught him to ‘shhh’, but this other dog doesn’t know that command yet, and his behaviour reinforces my dog’s barking). He has no self-control when it comes to cats (I shut my own cat up when he comes over, as I have no doubt that he would go for her), and I often worry that he would do so when attached to her scooter.

He is a desperate thief of food. You cannot trust him around any food whatsoever, he thieves off high surfaces, tables, and will happily eat a load of bread whole, plastic bag and all. He not only chews, but actually eats sticks, and he also eats his own crap. He swallows his food so quickly I’m concerned about bloat. He’s eaten the most extraordinary range of things, and must have a stomach of steel to remain unscathed. I know that Labs are often food-obsessed, but in my opinion, this is dangerous and unacceptable behaviour no matter what the breed. He will not ‘drop’ either sticks or food, and I’m not actually sure if he even knows that command.

He tries to run away – if the door is left open, he will bolt. I’ve seen him do this a couple of times. And when I leave (he has become quite bonded to me as well), he barks and barks. And barks. I was due to go over and walk him yesterday, but my friend’s spouse called up and forbade it (yes, really). My friend said that he had been all excited to see me (he recognises my name), and when the phone call came, and my friend left without him, he lay on the floor and wept and howled. Thinking about this, I think it best if she doesn’t get him excited to see me before I arrive, as I think this could cause more problems, even though I know she’s doing it to try and cheer him up.

He has no concept of his own (enormous) strength, or good boundaries when playing with other dogs. A few times, he has tried to hump my dog – both the ‘right’ way round, and also humping his head. He grips on very hard, so my dog finds it hard to get away, and he doesn’t pick up any signals that this kind of behaviour is unwelcome. Their play, whilst generally very friendly, centres around rough-housing. I try to concentrate on them and re-direct this play into chasing after sticks together, or playing tug with a toy together, but this is not always possible. The other night, while I was watching them, I saw the energy change completely from their normal friendly play. The whites of the eyes, the snarl-face were showing. When I separated them, they both tried to go straight back to each other, even after a time-out, and I decided to take my dog home. Neither of them were backing off, or ending the play normally, and I don’t want my own dog to learn bad habits from this kind of play – neither do I want him to get hurt, as the other dog is much bigger and stronger. I no longer feel safe letting this dog off-lead when I walk him, even though I’m sure that burning off excess energy would help with the play-problems especially (and he behaves perfectly well with my dog when they are both out waking off-lead). My own dog has plenty of play with many other dogs, is generally respectful, and gentle with smaller dogs. I am worried, though, that it’s too late for this dog. The abusive behaviour at home is getting worse, and it seems to me that the dog’s behaviour is getting worse as a result.

Regarding the pulling on the scooter, I have suggested that my friend use his food-obsession to train him while she’s on the scooter – keeping his leash shorter, and encouraging him to walk beside her by giving him his breakfast kibble – thereby solving the problem of the fast eating and the pulling problem, as well as stopping and reinforcing ‘no bark’ with food at regular intervals. This doesn’t address him barking within the house though, or the stealing food. The behaviour with the rough-housing, is the most worrying to me. I don’t want to prevent my dog seeing him completely, as this dog is lonely, under-exercised and bored, and needs regular play, and they generally love each other’s company. I do not want to put my dog or my friend in any danger though, and I want my friend to be able to take him out without worrying about meeting other dogs. She wants to get another puppy, and I really want to dissuade her from doing so, as I think this dog could get dangerously jealous of a puppy (he already gets a little jealous when my own dog snuggles me, let alone his owner), and, as mentioned, is stronger than he knows.

Reddit, I know this is a toughie, and a wall-of-text to boot, but… any advice, or words of warning? Re-homing is completely out of the question – my friend has had this dog through thick and thin, and they mean the world to each other. He has been through the mill, both literally and emotionally, and quite obviously has a mass of insecurities and anxieties, so I think gentle techniques are the best for him – not that anyone here would suggest anything cruel, obviously, but under it all, I think this dog is quite the sensitive little flower, who just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings.

the aggression in the atmosphere at home, has had an extremely detrimental effect on him ... The abusive behaviour at home is getting worse, and it seems to me that the dog’s behaviour is getting worse as a result.

What a bad situation :( I'm guessing that getting rid of the abusive spouse isn't an option?

I think the first thing she should work on is making sure he is getting enough mental stimulation and physical exercise so he is calm enough that he can learn / make good decisions.

My friend will whenever she can, tie him to her scooter and scoot along with him. When this happens, he pulls on the leash so hard it sounds like he’s choking.

Along with your "feed his breakfast on walks" idea, you might suggest / try a no pull harness or halter. Dog necks aren't made for pulling, and he could be doing physical damage by pulling so hard. Your friend is going to want to start training loose leash walking in a low distraction environment at first (like inside the house) so he has a clue what is going on before she starts trying in super exciting places like outside. Some links that might be helpful:

I have no idea if this is a good idea or not, but if your friend could control him safely, letting him pull the scooter (with a harness that is made for pulling things) would probably be a really good way to get rid of some of his excess energy. Walks are great mental stimulation, but probably aren't even going to make a dent in his energy level.

And, here are some links that might help with the mental stimulation part: