Young people who have few supportive adults and low levels of literacy are at risk when trying to narrate their lives online. Photograph: Anthony Devlin/PA

Ask young people what they fear most about being online and, for many, the threat of their details being hacked into is up there along with cyberbullying.

Youngsters from a pupil referral unit shared their experiences and devised and acted in a short film for a report I have written on how vulnerable young people use social media and mobile technology. The subject they chose to portray in the film was the panic created when what was intended to be private goes public; the fear that their reputation was shattered; the sickening realisation that their future could be rung out. Sound familiar?

Many professionals working with vulnerable young people who were interviewed for the report, Munch, Poke, Ping (commissioned by the government's Training and Development Agency), said that for these young people, the mobile phone has become the single most important activity that gives identity, connection and a sense of community. Indeed, with the array of apps and features on smart phones, such as private message services (BlackBerry Messenger, for example), the opportunity to poke (a virtual nudge to draw attention), ping (broadcast to many) or use "munch" apps (which grab and save what's on the screen), is it any wonder that the mobile has become a young person's portable, private and personal life-support system?

According to Eric Schmidt, Google's executive chairman, there are only two states for children: "asleep or online".

Professionals are now observing how vulnerable young people – many of who have low self-esteem, a lack of influence from supportive adults, early experiences with alcohol or drugs, and more unsupervised time – are at further risk online from being groomed by older peers and becoming addicted to a virtual world that seems more sane than the one they inhabit offline.

In the report, I argue that the technology no longer simply mirrors or amplifies offline interactions and communications. The new social web has changed the platform to that of an incubator; it is a place where communication is captured, aggregated, added to, morphed, changed and rehatched as a new broadcast or ping. Those with the skill and confidence to narrate their lives online, manage their reputation, mitigate the risks and build up resilience, may well be able to survive and thrive. Those who have few supportive adults, low levels of literacy and are unsupervised and vulnerable to abuse, are far less confident and hence more at risk.

Companies are rolling out new social location and face recognition services. However much these tools can connect and empower us, don't all users, especially the young, have a right to greater privacy and to "opt in" rather than have to "opt out" of new services?

Better training and support for staff working with vulnerable young people would help protect them from risky situations online. It is time to embed e-safety within the wider teaching of emotional, social and digital literacies. A new three Rs of literacy would help us to understand the risks, better manage online reputations and together build resilience to cope with the contradictions and opportunities of the online world.

• Stephen Carrick-Davies is a freelance trainer, writer and former CEO of Internet charity Childnet International. Munch, Poke, Ping is at carrick-davies.com