So Snowpiercer came out with a trailer a couple of months ago, and we posted it an appropriately made jokes about it being an Eskimo snuff film. You can relive those glorious days here. However, the trailer had really bad audio quality, and so here’s a newer version that involves actual enunciation instead of white noise:

I have about a hundred knee jerk reactions to the story line, but rather than indulging I’ll just accept that arguing with the wrapping of the story isn’t always necessary. Suspension of disbelief and all that. Of course, no one can stop me from imagining that this is actually a sneak peak into what happens when winter finally comes in “Game of Thrones”. The Starks are just going to build a train and ride around the world. Does your gold keep you warm now, Lannisters?

Oh here’s the real plot summary:

Snowpiercer is set in a future where, after a failed experiment to stop global warming, an Ice Age kills off all life on the planet except for the inhabitants of the Snowpiercer, a train that travels around the globe and is powered by a sacred perpetual-motion engine. A class system evolves on the train but a revolution brews.

The story is based on a French avant-garde graphic novel called Le Transperceneige. And just writing that sentence felt so pretentious that I think I need to bathe. On the other hand, it’s also got one hell of a cast: Chris Evans, Tilda Swinton, John Hurt, Jamie Bell, Ewan Bremner, Ed Harris, Alison Pill, Octavia Spencer and Song Kang-ho. And it’s being directed by Bong Joon-ho of The Host fame, which I’m told is also a good thing.

If you are feeling excited about this movie, I would recommend stopping right here, and clicking on the next article. Because the filmmakers apparently decided that the perpetual-motion-train-riding-into-endless-winter-during-class-revolution plot was complex enough to need some back story to help with suspension of disbelief. And here’s an animated featurette that aims to do just that. Spoiler alert: it’s really bad.

My god, that was like the world’s longest cut scene introduction to a video game you picked up for $6 in the bargain bin because the cover looked sort of like other games you’ve liked. The entire four minutes, my thumbs kept mashing into my desk, trying to hit the nonexistent Xbox controller buttons to skip the damned thing.

Snowpiercer hits South Korea first in August and then a bit later in America. You know, now that you’re really looking forward to it.