Why all the sniggering about Power Balance bands, the latest accessory for intelligent stars? Should you be unfamiliar with this exciting technology, the Power Balance band is a rubber bracelet incorporating a hologram "infused with healing and restorative powers".

"Everything in nature has a set frequency," explains inventor Josh Rodarmel, whose firm sells the bands for £29.99. "The body has a frequency and things which cause negativity to the human body – like cellphones and radiowaves – break down its natural healing frequency. My brother and I worked out a way of putting good frequencies into our holograms so they balance out the body."

Amazing. This week David Beckham was snapped wearing four of the things, causing him to operate on a frequency four times more healing than had he simply gone out in his tattoo sleeves. Fellow aficionados include Demi Moore, P Diddy and Kate Middleton.

So let's hear no more criticism. Lost in Showbiz has long campaigned for a law compelling quarterwitted celebrities to display their lack of scientific credentials, though bleeding hearts have always countered that branding their foreheads would be an abuse of their entertainer rights. What is the Power Balance band, then, if not a perfect solution?