Breaking News Out Of Inman

Enjoy a report of my herd escaping when my mother tried to feed them when I was out of town. Yes, this really happened.

Despite an inside informer and careful planning, a massive early morning inmate escape from the infamous Paddock Prison was thwarted today by what can only be called a “blonde moment” on the part of one of the escapees. The leader of the escape attempt was able to brainwash a young and impressionable inmate from another prison wing with special privileges including outside access into believing he was a member of the group and would be readily accepted if he would help them in their escape. The timing was perfect…..the young inmate distracted the prison matron from her duties just long enough for the leader of the escape to throw her full body force into the prison door and knock the prison matron off balance. Immediately all prisoners dashed for the door overpowering the matron. Their escape might have been successful were it not for the smallest member of the escape getting distracted and stopping to sniff a bottle that fell to the ground during the escape. Her momentary lapse in judgment led to her immediate capture by the matron. The screams of the prisoner as she was dragged back to her cell brought her bother to assist leading to his capture as well. With both of the youngest members of the gang back in their cell and screaming at the top of their lungs for help, the escape leader (a firm believer in the motto no goat left behind!) rushed back to help them. A foolish move on her part as the matron was quickly able to corner her and return her to the cell. With only one member still at large (and the only member of the group truly scared of the dark!) the matron patiently sat down and waited. Knowing that he would not chance the darkness of the morning by himself and with all the other inmates screaming for his help, the matron knew it was only a matter of time before he fell into her trap. In less than two minutes he crept back toward the prison gate. Too late he noticed the matron jump at him and he was captured. As he was roughly shoved back into the cell he too joined the screaming chorus of inmates who knew their once chance at freedom was gone.

The young inmate who realized too late that he had been duped and was being left behind, tried to hide to avoid punishment. However, his attempts to hide out of sight were useless as his sobbing screams at being betrayed gave away his position. He too was unceremoniously locked away in a separate cell with his daily outside time cancelled.