Guys, will I hear from my now ex after what happened? Please talk some sense into me from guys view?

My biggest concern was he never asked me to come around his place - spoke directly, let him know how it made me feel, hinted, helped to plan a move out do - to do it slowly... nothing, just once when his lady landlord went on a break to travel I managed to look into how my dear darling lives. Last night, after few month of being suspicious I went on his landlord fb and looked up few pics that indicated he and she were closer than the houseware, pics were few years old and he has been living in the house for few years. He swore there was nothing going on between them and nothing ever happened (he even falsely accused me of cheating on him with my housemate - which wasn't true - his blind jealousy; I was accused of this a couple more time). When I called him up and asked to explain he denied at first, and kept asking on where I found these - I confessed about going on her fb page and explained that since it has been bothering me so much and he has been ignoring this all the time... I just did that. Then he confessed as well referring how complicated that was that they broke it off few years ago... and he has been mentally unstable and couldn't move out and was extremely embarrassed to tell me the whole truth. I was being lies about his past relationships all these months we have been seeing each other. Apparently she moved over here with him and has known him for 16 years and let him stay at her house after they broke up since his condition was discovered. They haven't been living together as a couple, it is just he forgot to mentioned they used to be one and was dishonest about this all this time. I blew up and asked him to introduce me to his housemate as his girlfriend asap, he gave it 5 min thought and his housemate blew up since she didn't know he was seeing someone. I ended up getting all the info from her by faking to her, all end up in a big mess. He told me he hated me for contacting her and never wanted to do anything ever again with me. shithouse. heartbroken

Most Helpful Guy

Ok what you did is obviously right since that is what a women would do, but why did you do it? Because you don't like nobody laughing in your face? Or because you really loved/liked him? Whichever one it is he is gonna be upset no matter what cuz you discovered him but, whichever answer is yours you need to know if you love em he ain't the one and let it go as much as it hurts, don't let it bother u

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Asker

I did it because I wanted the truth and to know what I have been dealing with or up against all this time. I wanted a closure to my nightmares and gut feelings that there was something serious he was trying to cove up. I also did it out of fear that I might have ruined someones marriage or long term relationship, as I was in the position of being lied to by a cheating boyfriend before and the girl who started seeing my ex when he was still with me didn't know he lied to her as well. I wanted my honest name back as I am not a homebreaker by choice!!! But sometime this choice maybe made for you by a dishonest partner who you trust. After all since the truth come to light I wanted to hear from his housemate - she did say that there was no romantic relations between them and that she wanted hi out of her house. He has been making attempts to move out, but he has a mental health condition that I am not aware off. This condition made his move impossible at the time he explained. Big mess

His biggest fear was I would dump him over the fact he wasn't able to get out of the house share with his ex (he was suicidal few times and had a very difficult childhood and estranged relationships with his family) due to his condition. We spoke since and are trying to handle this in a civil way. I have never wanted to be a third wheel and have no problems with letting things go... I just see there is a chance to at least to do it in a respectful way that will help to bring closure and peace to all regardless of what happens after and what choices we make. I have lived independently and enjoyed my single life for long time, so have no worries about this being a potential opportunity to go back to single paradise. The only thing was I was open and honest I wanted a relationship and honesty and decency from very first date we had. He agreed to all of this, we were discussing things and working on things together.

Yeah it is a big deal, but you did the right thing, i mean poor guy because of his health conditions, but sometimes you just gotta explain it the right way, but it seems like he won't take it as a no right?

He has a lot of issues which he told me about earlier and i could relate and saw that was giving him strength and confidence to do the right thing day to day. It is just his past wich is also his present at the moment since he is in the same houseshare. His ex is very toxic and she isn't handling their house share well either... she basically thretens to throw him out and with the police every time things dont go her way. He has no space or privacy wnd this is the reason he was keeping his relationship with me a secret from her. She call vherself hisfamily and friends but at the same time she drains him to exaustion being fully aware about his condition. I mean i could just leave this sinve they are worth each other or at least give him a good kick so he gets out of there for his own sake. He is messerable there but he is also a very dominant male who likes to get his way. Before the truth came out he was doing all the right things so there is hope he gets this one sorted as well

Wow it is really a bad situation, especially if the women is threatening him, now he feels obligated to stay and that i bet is fucked up, well all i could tell you is stay as much away from it as possible you know...

She wants him to move out as well she said so it is upto him really. I guess being thrown away by the person who broke up with u 6 years ago and let u stay ather so that she could torch you knowing about u conditions kinda a big deal. As crazy as this sounds! Thank you for your comments and for listening