Lake Superior State University's annual List of Banished Words is out. Since 1976, the university has compiled a list of the most overused, misused and generally useless words in the English language, garnering press for their college & thrilling logophiles everywhere.

Here are this 2011's most terrible words:

-Amazing-Baby Bump-Shared Sacrifice-Occupy-Blowback-Man Cave-The New Normal-Pet Parent-Win The Future-Trickeration-Ginormous-Thank You In Advance

In confectioners' terms, a dragée is a delicious type of candy used to decorate baked goods.Dragées used to contain mercury (early in the 20th century), so they were incredibly dangerous. Now, though, they're yummy, sparkling, decadent & elegant-- what better pet name for my wonderful readers?

1 Set measurable goals. Instead of resolving to eat healthier, try eating at least 4 servings of veggies each day. If you're able to see the improvements, you'll be more confident in your ability to stick with your resolutions.

2 Make your resolutions challenging, but keep-able. Giving yourself a challenge pushes you to become an even better you. Having attainable goals means your goals are likelier to be met.

3 Make sure your resolutions are YOUR resolutions. Don't pledge to lose weight just because your self-conscious aunt says you should. Don't promise to cut down on watching TV if it makes you happy & you lead a productive life. Do be sure to make resolutions that will impact your life positively-- forget others' ideas of what makes a good resolution.

How can you let yourself fall when you're terrified of getting hurt? I can't explain it, even though I've been in love. I've fallen. Hard. Scared beyond words, I've fallen in love.

Alexz Johnson's latest single, Skipping Stone is about exactly this. Of the song, she writes, "I wanted to try and capture the intimacy, pain and realness that often accompany being in love. If a heart were to get broken, there's a tendency to move forward pretending we weren't really hurt that bad after all. I think it takes incredible courage to let yourself fall. If you have, this song is for you".

Lady Gaga promised an extra-special gift to her Little Monsters- a new song. She exclaimed "I love you all so much, you're the greatest gift to me".

Of the song, she tweeted "I wrote it in Minnesota after the Monster Ball on the tour bus" & "We recorded it in one shot. Fernando on guitar, Paul on Drum Machine. I wrote, sang it, and freestyled the last minute + a half of the song".

The Huffington Post describes Gaga as a "raw, hyper-sexualized Santa Claus, slinking down the chimney to mingle with the flames of your yule log". What a delicious description!

RebeccaEsther.com is a blogazine for fabulous women who don't always play by society's rules when it comes to how they act, think or dress. A reader of this blogazine is a lady with class, sass & a great wardrobe. She's as comfortable reading Cosmo as she is reading Psychology Today. She's smart enough to appreciate intellectual convos but enjoys 'chick flicks', nail polish & sugary confections just as much.

This site is packed with insightful articles, outfit inspiration, tips, tricks & giveaways.

~ Music Monday. A taste of the songs I'm listening to non-stop & a great start to your week.~ Things I Love Thursday (TiLT). A weekly chance to be grateful & celebrate all we have, TiLT is a list of the little things that made me smile, plus an opportunity for you to share your own TiLT list.~ Nonpareils (formerly called Confetti). Posted on Fridays, Nonpareils features links I found interesting, fun or fabulous-- it's my own spin on "Link Love".

Or, check the tags! They're found on the right-hand side of this page.

Can't find what you're looking for? Have a question or comment? Contact me!

Victoria's Secret "Angel" Adriana Lima is all over the news this week, in celebration of malnutrition and conforming to society's absurd body ideals.

The model is preparing for the Victoria's Secret fashion show with an insane regimen: she "drinks a gallon of water a day. For nine days before the show, she will drink only protein shakes - "no solids". The concoctions include powdered egg. Two days before the show, she will abstain from the daily gallon of water, and "just drink normally". Then, 12 hours before the show, she will stop drinking entirely" (source).

The worst part of the extensive media coverage surrounding her is the exultation of starving oneself to achieve a 'perfect' body, one worth showing off in expensive lingerie. A woman who isn't dehydrated and malnourished is not worthy of praise and admiration?!

Victoria's Secret already has had their say in what body sizes are acceptable-- the ones their stores cater to, from extra small to large (or, on occasion, (a very small) extra large). The diet Angels are forced to adhere to just drives the point home, ten-fold. Not only are very thin women the only beautiful women, but they must be constantly starving, parched + exercising.

I used to excitedly watch the fashion show every year, drooling over the dainty lingerie and angel wings, but the glitz isn't enough for me this year. I'm boycotting Victoria's Secret until they wise up and feature models of all sizes (or, at the very least, naturally slender women who don't have to stave themselves to be considered pretty). Please join me.

I'm sick of being judged for the curve of my hips, the roundness of my stomach, the fullness of my chin. My body is built this way. Sure, I could diet obsessively, exercise ceaselessly, engage in fervent self-loathing. In fact, I've done all of that before. But the majority of people who lose weight gain it all back and self-loathing does absolutely no one any good. I would know.

So here's a radical idea: instead of focusing on my eating habits, my clothing or my frame, consider this: there's something to that adage, "don't judge a book by its cover".

And if you really want to look at peoples' bodies, feast on this: people come in all different shapes and sizes. Each and every one of them is beautiful, from the tiny to the rotund and everywhere in between.

CaffeMallows each contain a double-dose of coffee or espresso, and they come in numerous flavours!

My individually wrapped marshmallows arrived in a cute little plastic container within a well-padded envelope, along with some deliciously fragrant coffee beans in an organza bag. The delivery was very prompt, which is always a treat as well.

My favourite Caffex marshmallow is the Mocca (Cacao Espresso!!) flavour. It's sweet and chocolatey with a very unique texture. It gave me a bit of an energy jolt, though not as much as I hoped.

This is a great product, both for its innovative taste-texture combo + its convenient packaging, which makes Caffex Mallows great for the 'with-it' woman who wants a treat on the go.

Do you want two yummy CaffeMallows of your very own? Comment on this blog post + tell me why! For a bonus contest entry, follow me on twitter + leave a comment here with your username.

Jamie's sense of humor was apparent from the moment he stepped onstage, a tiny, slender brunet in a blazer and TWLOHA tee, announcing that he dropped out of University of Central Florida (to pursue his career), so he was proud the college invited him to speak. His compassion, sense of humor and optimism were catching. He instantly set the audience at ease.

Jaime related the story of his friend Renee who suffered from depression, addiction and self-injury. He and their mutual friends convinced Renee that "treatment is needed and deserved". Once she was finally in recovery, Jaime approached Renee about the possibility of sharing her story. Renee lit up, thrilled that helping others would mean there was a "purpose for her pain". And To Write Love On Her Arms was born.

Once Jaime had Renee's consent, his family and friends' support and some promotional t-shirts printed, he created a To Write Love On Her Arms' MySpace page. He explained, "being in [people's] top eight was very important. You didn't want to be ninth. And there was this guy Tom with a lot of money but a very bad default picture...". Jaime knew TWLOHA needed internet fame in order to find, "a home for the story". People found their way to the MySpace page. Numerous individuals emailed Jaime, saying, "the story [of TWLOHA] you're telling is my story or the story of someone I love".

Since 2006, TWLOHA has flourished, offering hundreds of thousands a loving community to belong to. He realized, "maybe these are not emo issues, maybe these are not white people issues, maybe these are not American issues. Maybe these are human issues... TWLOHA is a haven for human being[s] talking to other human beings, [convincing them that] they weren't alone"

Jamie said inviting his musical friends to perform at TWLOHA events isn't just a marketing tool-("and it's bad to call people tools, anyway!") On the contrary, "music has a unique power to remind us that we're alive... Songs have this funny way of being almost friends". The ballroom, jam-packed with college students, community members and friends responded enthusiastically.

The Minor Prophets performed a few of their songs, to thunderous applause. "Let's find a place where there's joy and let that joy burn the pain. [...]," they sang, "we may never get over this, that's okay".

Jaime admitted, "i don't have all the answers" to depression, feelings of loneliness or being in pain, but "my hope is that you leave here encouraged... It's okay to say you're not okay"

"Healing comes when we let people see those wounds and things we don't know what to do with. My hope for you, for myself, for all of us is to try to live like that... Everyone is living a story that is sacred...and priceless...and entirely unique. The shit that's happened to you, who you are, matters. You deserve people who remind you that your story is priceless."

The message Jaime reiterated and wanted to leave the audience with, is one I want to leave with you, dear readers, as well: "You're not alone... Please know that you matter. Please don't give up... This world needs you. You were made to be known and to be loved. You were not made to be alone".

When I turned 19, I decided to record every book I read and film I watched for a year. The whole project made me more mindful of the media I consume every day + what interests me. I discovered a lot more about myself in the process, than I thought I would.

You'll find the lists below. I highly suggest that you try this too!

20th Year BooksConsolation by Michael RedhillTuesdays With MorrieBound to Please: A History of the Victorian CorsetWater For ElephantsChocolatThe Story of OJustineThe Poison Eaters by Holly BlackTruth Dare or Promise by Paula BoockHolding Still For As Long As Possible by Zoe WhittallIt Gets BetterBossypantsThe Stream Runs Fast by Nellie McClungA Taste of HoneyBottle Rocket Hearts by Zoe WhittallKingdom Hearts volume 3Kingdom Hearts volume 4Fuck This BookKingdom Hearts volume 1Rage by Julie Anne PetersMoominvalley in NovemberLuna by Julie Anne PetersDefine "Normal" by Julie Anne Peters

20th Year MoviesChloeSalt (x3)The Runaways (x3)Confessions of a ShopaholicLife As We Know ItNineMadama ButterflyDear JohnMamma MiaFour ChristmasesRamona and BeezusElf (x2)Leap YearThe September IssueRent on BroadwayToy Story 3 (x5)Eat Pray LoveAlice In Wonderland (2010)Adventureland (x3)Despicable Me (x4)500 Days of Summer (x3)Remember MeThe TouristEasy A (x5)Julie and JuliaPride and PrejudiceRocky Horror Picture ShowToy StoryToy Story 2 (x3)Monsters IncRatatouilleDefinitely, Maybe (x13)A Bill of DivorcementThe DilemmaPaperman (x3)BuriedThe Princess and The Frog (x3)Valentine's DayWuthering HeightsThe Seven Year ItchThe Perfect VaginaLaughing With HitlerThe Big Lift (x5)Judgement At NurembergLaurel and Hardy HighlightsLes Miserables (Concert)Benny and JoonSome Like It HotPhoebe in WonderlandLet the Right One In (x3)The Trotsky (x2)KillersThe Great DictatorSweeney ToddFreaky FridayBlack Swan (x3)You Me and DupreeAn EducationWater For ElephantsBridesmaidsHow To Train Your DragonVampires SuckZombielandHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 1Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2PocahontasMulanTitanicJuno

I have a lot to be thankful for this week.

• Waking up next to my love, every single day. Most of our relationship has been long-distance, so I'm used to sleeping alone. Being with him is beyond-words-incredible.

• Correspondence courses. I'm in Poinciana, Florida, and working on a course through University of Toronto. How cool is that?!

• Disney World. Kamen's mom took us a couple of days ago + it was such fun!

• Parents who care. My mom and dad have both been emailing me, asking how I am. I feel loved, knowing they're thinking of me, especially while I'm away.

• Having fun with American lingo. "Candy bar". "Swimsuit". "Restroom". As a linguaphile, I love picking these out of conversation and trying them for myself (but I still say "chocolate bar" instead of "candy bar"!).

NYC as seen from the Staten Island Ferry. Photo by Rebecca Gorenkoff, Etched In Tin.

During my just-shy-of-3-days in NYC last week, I had time for lots of introspection + self-exploration. Here's what I found:

1 I'm much better with directions than I thought. While it's true that I get lost in my own city of Toronto, where I've spent all my life, I'm able to figure out which bus to take, which way Avenues versus streets go and how to ask for directions if (read: when) I need them. This comes in handy all the time!

2 I love taking pictures. I've known this for a long time, but it became more apparent than ever during my trip. I gleefully snapped photos of buildings in The Bronx, artifacts in The Museum of Sex, the Statue of Liberty... Even a few of pretzels. Photography is a great way to express one's self while keeping track of time and memories, so you'll see lots more photos (by me) on Etched In Tin.

3 I think I now understand how new Torontonians feel when they see the C. N. Tower. Seeing the Statue of Liberty up close is surreal. She's so much smaller than literature leads one to believe, yet she's larger than life. The moment you witness a landmark you've heard about all your life but never actually seen is magical.

4 I'm more capable of interacting with strangers than I thought. This is a revelation! I'm quite shy by nature, so learning that I can hold a conversation with ease was quite a confidence boost.

Do you find that travelling offers you learning experiences? When's the last time you learned something about yourself?

April Flores for Bizarre Magazine

I used to pore over women's health magazines, certain that reading them would inspire me to be healthier. Recently, though, I learned that so-called health magazines aren't so good for us afterall: They perpetuate negative body image ideals and insist that a woman will never be good enough until she's thin, inspiring crash diets and self-loathing.

Now, I do indulge in magazines (what girl doesn't?) but I'm far more discerning than I used to be. In place of reaching for Self or Shape, I explore the Health at Every Size community online or read feminist publications like Bitch and Bust. Better quality material and it makes me feel good about myself. I love fashion magazines too, but take their "health" tips with a grain of salt.

Rather than reading about ways to be skinny, I actively work at being healthy by going for walks, preparing nutritious snacks or practicing yoga.

I recognize that skinny is not necessarily healthy and healthy is not necessarily skinny, just like fat is not necessarily unhealthy and unhealthy is not necessarily fat.

I acknowledge that my body type (voluptuous, full-figured) was highly sought-after throughout history-- a larger figure meant a woman was well-off enough to eat lavishly and her curves were considered beautiful. In the past 60 years or so, slender has been considered most attractive. Society's tastes change in cycles. One day curvy will be in again and thin will be out. We just have to ignore trends and embrace the body we have.

Lastly, I remind myself over and over again that I am beautiful and I deserve to be healthy-- emotionally and physically.

I know Things I Love Thursday is usually about little things that make us happy, but this week I also have some bigger thrills to divulge!

Firstly, yesterday was mine and Kamen's anniversary!! I am grateful beyond words to have such an incredible sweetheart + all I can ask is for many, many more years with him. Happy anniversary, beloved.

Number two? This week a lot of Canadian students went back to school. And I'm not one of them!! I love learning, as is evident in the multitude of topics I research + write about, but I thrive in less-structured environments than schools tend to be. So I'm doing a writing program by correspondence through University of Toronto, and that makes me very happy.

Now, on to the little things!

<3 Mad Men marathons with my mom.

<3 Listening to the same album multiple times in a row (in a single day!!) And never tiring of it.

A happily makeup-free Becca, with her love, Kamen.

I first started wearing make-up in junior high. It began with super-girly pink lipsticks and pastel eye shadows, then progressed to Goth-esque red lips and tons of eyeliner. I've definitely toned down my look since then, to the point that instead of 'putting on my face' every morning, I sometimes step away from the cosmetics completely.

The idea of going without oodles of black eyeliner used to petrify me. A lot of girls are afraid to be seen without makeup, and with good reason: we're expected to look perfect at all times-- slender, stretch mark-free, poised and polished, like the pages of a magazine. So can we afford to skimp on makeup?

3 Most important of all: confidence is key! Know that you are beautiful + you do not have to look like a supermodel. In real life, even supermodels don't look like supermodels! Pounds of makeup and tons of photoshop contribute to that flawless look-- a look that's 100% unattainable. Even if it were possible to look that way, would we want to?

Your inner beauty shows outwardly, with or without makeup + a confident smile is more compelling than any computer-generated, idealized image ever will be.

Frenchie Fatale

When I enter The Revival on College Street, I'm greeted by the illustrious Frenchie Fatale., her red lips bewitching, her eyes sparkling with excitement about tonight's show, Les Follies Tres Bare. I introduce myself as a writer and a former stage kitten. She says, "oh yes, you're Rebecca!" I nod. She smiles, "I always remember people". Much like her stage persona, in person, Frenchie is enchanting. It's hard to keep your eyes off her.

The lights are dim. Performers wander out from the curtains occasionally, mingling with press and crew, nervous energy palpable. Finally, doors open at 8 and audience members begin to arrive. The room is buzzing with excited chatter. I take my seat near the front of the room in the press section. A man in a charming chapeau introduces himself to me as Paul, a photographer. He shakes my hand and tells me about his typical burlesque experience, since he's been to shows before. "I take pictures of the show, but of the audience too. I love that for burlesque shows, people get dressed to the nines".

One of the things I love best about burlesque is its ability to bring out the theatrical, old Hollywood-esque style in everyone. This thought makes me wonder about the other reasons why I love burlesque, as well as why I'd recommend you go to a show...

The room errupts in cheers as the very dapper emcee, clad in a top hat, jacket, boxers and men's garters introduces the opening act, featuring all four Glamour Puss Burlesque dancers. For half of the number, the girls wear full costumes (afterall, Dita Von Teese says burlesque is all about the tease!). It's an inventive, ethereal number involving ballet and peacock feathers. The audience squirms deliciously in their seats when the first glove is peeled! That's the second reason to see a burlesque show: it's incredible, how sensual removing a single glove can be.

The bar smells pleasantly of cupcakes, cologne and alcohol. Candy girls work the floor, flirting and delivering sweets, lingerie-clad. Seeing so many people in a state of undress, completely at ease with their bodies, is so moving. Reason number three to see a burlesque show: you'll be inspired to love the skin you're in.

"This is nothing in this world sexier than an accent!" proclaims the emcee. He continues, "The French accent is like butter!". He calls three audience members to the stage to say something, anything, in French, trying to be as smooth and sulty as possible. The audience howls with laughter, and he waves them back to their seats. "Now get off my stage, all of you!" Comedy is constantly present in the burlesque theatre, and embraced fully by performers and audience members alike. That's the fourth reason to see a show! It's a genuine good time.

Rubie La Framboise performs as a tantalizing French courtesan, followed by a set featuring Lady Adele in her wiggle dress and elbow-length gloves, caressing the microphone stand and singing jazzy ballads. The audience loses it when she begins running her hands up and down her body while belting the lyrics. "If you can't take the heat, then take off your clothes!" shouts the Emcee as he returns to the stage. He then dances with Kinky La Femme. Very hot! This brings us to reason number five: sex, sex, sex! I've never felt so comfortable with my sexuality.

In one of my favourite moments of the night, The Matador bursts onto the stage and tears off 'his' clothes, hat and mustache, revealing Frenchie Fatale dressed as a bull, complete with horns and panties with the word "Ole" printed on them. In another, Lady Adele sings a breathy, Marilyn Monroe-style happy birthday to Kinky La Femme.

More of the night's highlights: Paralee Peal dances a Cinderella-inspired number. She's playful, demure, full of longing and sex appeal all at once. Baldini and Kazam mystify the audience with their magic, then Frenchie and Carlos Caliente perform "a true tale of betrayal", followed by 2011 Burlesque Hall of Fame star Jett Adore in a captivating solo act.

Finally, all the Glamour Puss girls take the stage for the grand finale, "All That Jazz" from Chicago. Kinky and Lady Adele wear crimson, sparkling dresses and captivate, their voices filling the theatre. As the last note is sung, the room begins to vibrate with applause.

While the curtains have closed on Les Follies Tres Bare, the neo-burlesque movement dances forward. Be on the lookout for a burlesque show in your city (or check out Glamour Puss if you're ever in Toronto)-- you'll be in for a treat.

<3 Wearing my favourite hat! Check out the picture below. It's from July. I've been wearing the hat all time since I got it! [You can buy your own, in any colour, with or without ears, here!! They're handmade in the USA.]

Full disclosure: My boyfriend runs Table Monkey Knitwear. But I'm advertizing not because he wants me to, but because I genuinely love the products and overall company + think you will too!

Here I am, wearing my favourite hat! [Photo by me]

<3 I went to Taste of the Danforth, an annual Greek food street festival, with one of my best friends, Tush. We shared lots of laughs and delicious treats, including baklava. It was awesome!

Marion Cotillard for Elle France

I am very excited to announce that I have joined Love Twenty's team of writers!! I'm thrilled to be a part of such an awesome online resource for women.

My first article will be live on the site very soon, but I wanted to give my wonderful Etched In Tin readers a taste before anyone else on the web!!

So, without further ado, here are 4 (of 7!) Easy Body Image Boosters.

:) Write out a list of all the little things you like about your appearance. For example: 'I have fabulous legs'. 'My arms look awesome when I wear sleeveless tops'. 'I love how my eyes pop when I wear bright liner'. On 'ugly days', go over your list for a boost!

:) Find a go-to clothing item that you always feel great in, be it a perfectly tailored pair of pants, sky-high heels or a little black dress.

:) Check out theHealth At Every Size (HAES)movement. HAES embraces the fact that we all have different sizes and shapes and health is more important than fitting society's beauty ideals.

Thanks to the devastating stigma attached to mental illness + the lack of research on most disorders, coming out as suffering from a mental illness is terrifying. Your loved one trusts you enough to have divulged this information. Bravo! You're on the right track! A support system is vital, especially for those combating severe disorders such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar or a personality disorder.

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. The intense, unpredictable moods, irrational fears and feelings of vulnerability within relationships that it leads me to have impact my life every single day. Every moment, I am grateful for the people in my life who love me enough to stand by me, even when it's unbelievably hard.

A couple of days ago, during a particularly difficult episode, I talked to my ever-supportive boyfriend, Kamen.

I choked, "There's no way you could possibly want me, especially forever!" Through sobs, I continued, "Are you sure you love me enough to deal with decades of my fucked up meltdowns?!" BPD leads me to believe (almost always incorrectly, despite how real it feels) that the world is about to end and no one loves me... And on and on the terrifying thoughts go... It sounds over-dramatic, but I feel everything with this intensity, if not more.

But he simply said, "I'm damn positive".

I took deep breaths as he continued to reassure me that everything was okay and he loves me very much. I was soon able to calm down.

Your loved one is so lucky to have someone who cares enough to stand by her. Sometimes it can be difficult to know how to be there for her, especially if you have never experienced what she is going through. As someone who has a mental illness and helps others cope with their own, I've compiled a list to help you out.

Be empathetic. As painful as the position you're in is, recognize that your lover is hurting even more. Not only must she cope with her illness' symptoms on a regular basis, but she knows her illness pains you too.

Learn everything you can about the disorder. When I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM), my mom read every article, newspaper clipping and book about SM she could get her hands on. Knowledge is power! Perhaps your loved one can share the books or websites that helped her.

Consider joining a support group for family, friends or lovers. You'll get some unique perspective and build a support network.

Recognize that your loved one is not her disease, BUT that it does affect her day-to-day life in a large, noticeable and uncontrollable way. Know that she has no say in this matter. Reassure her that you know it's hard and that as long as she does her best and remembers that you are there for her, everything will be okay.

Most importantly: Take care of yourself. Being there for your loved one is essential, but so is your own mental health. Never forget that! Take time to explore healthy coping skills of your own, be they meditation, making art or talking to someone you trust.

Porn is usually thought to be anything but thought-provoking, let alone empowering or inspiring, but Salacious is all three, and then some. A feminist, queer publication, Salacious offers fare to titilate people of all genders and sexualities.

Issue #2's topic is Voyeurism-- the deliciously exciting scenario of watching or being watched. Page after page of comics, photos and stories promise hours of enjoyment and a multitude of kinky ideas to explore. I'm rather partial to the story "Deeper" by Corey T. + am convinced you'll love some (if not all) of what this magazine has to offer, too.

Tempted? Click here to order the current issue, pre-order the next issue or find out if a store near you carries Salacious.

Liz Taylor knew looking good on the beach is all about having the right attitude!!

With swimsuit season upon us, I've noticed a flurry of discussion (especially among women) of the stress we experience trying to tone-up and look perfect in itty bitty bikinis and filmy summer clothes.

What if I'm not tan enough? What if I'm too skinny or too fat? What if, what if, what if.

We're terrified of being thought of as anything but as flawless as the mannequins at Urban Planet or the models in Fashion Magazine. The truth is, those mannequins are plastic and those models are air-brushed-- a human can't look that way in 'real life', EVER.

This is common knowledge. And yet, we still beat ourselves up about not being perfect.

So how do we change this?

First, we need to acknowledge that we're almost never being carefully, cruelly scrutinized when we think we are. The other girls on the beach aren't looking at your stretch marks, and the men you sleep with aren't judging your scars. Other girls are too busy worrying about their own perceived imperfections and guys are too busy simply being stoked that they're in bed with you.

Instead of fixating on your "flaws", focus on what you feel confident about. Wear something that makes you feel pretty, that emphasizes your best features (and STOP reading magazine articles that tell you to cover your 'arm flab' and 'muffin top'! Focus on the positive!) Remember that no one is perfect.