Well, I can certainly understand why the Golden Globes loved Illumination’s thespian-infested movie.
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Based around something as universally understood as music, Sing seems to be an appropriate first-time directing effort by the duo Christopher Lourdelet and Garth Jennings (who directed live action before). The result of their hard work brings a passable accomplishment by the studio’s sixth ever full-length feature, even if no studio gamechanger nonetheless.

The feature takes place in an unnamed San Fran-Los Angeles-esque city painted by Miami, home to many anthropomorphic mammals, reptiles, birds, primates, household pets, cephalopods, arachnids, and whales. We focus on six mammals: one a producer, five the lucky choices for his theater-saving singing competition. Plenty of celebrity voices deliver occasionally terrific singing, although the minor roles’ unfitting voices draw back the overall quality. Surprisingly however, the anthropomorphic individuals’ subplots are all masterfully balanced in their yearnings on the road to fame and fortune:

Buster Moon the koala (Matthew McConaughey) wants to keep the theater financially stable after his father passed down the torch. Despite being the lead, he is the least interesting cast member, more existing to vocalize the cliché morals. Though he still plays great off the more colorful characters, including his dimwitted senior secretary, Miss Crawly the iguana.

Rosita the pig (Reese Witherspoon) wants to follow her passion away from her uncaring husband and twenty-five children. She soon meets unexpected challenges when the competition pairs her with an overly optimistic pig named Gunter. This widely marketed chunk of ham shockingly gets little stage time; and I should also mention how he flaunts an indistinguishable European accent exaggerated to the point of annoyance. The immature will worship him like Moccus, leaving adults to gag a bit while watching an overweight swine in a unitard stereotyping western culture.

Johnny the gorilla (Taron Egerton) wants to escape his father’s criminal lifestyle, and follow his heart for the microphone. Boys across all ages will relate to this highly soulful musician, despite a phoned-in resolution to his subplot.

Ash the porcupine (Scarlett Johansson) seeks public appreciation alongside her boyfriend/musical partner. While her story feels relatively unengaging compared to the others, she still brings a nice voice, especially when her guitar strums electrify her quills to the point of showering out.

Mike the mouse (Seth MacFarlane) needs the prize money to pay back a bear gang who see him as a tasty meal. His ratty account maybe could have benefited from higher stakes against the law; but it does not matter anyway, for this crude comedian providing the voice amazingly makes a tiny crooner ruggedly lovable with some spice thrown in.

Meena the elephant (Tori Kelly) cannot pursue her love for singing, as her glossophobia gets in the way, with no thanks to her arrogant grandfather. She has the most poorly balanced yet easily relatable experience for all the boys and girls facing a similar fear.

Together, doubt gets conquered in a unified walk to fame and fortune. So who ends up winning the competition?

It doesn’t matter! They are all too introspective to notice one another, as these well-rounded individual stories have zero interweaving amongst one another. In the end, Sing cares less about teamwork, and more about getting children to worship the most popular hits by Lady GaGa, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Carly Rae Jepsen, and everyone else out there (just stay through the credits, the list of songs used lasts over a minute). It doesn’t matter if the human artist singles are sung by cute little animals; accompanied by predictable fart jokes, evidence proves why this movie aims squarely toward kids with an affinity of music over rules, offering the parents nothing more than a few scattered chuckles to at least manage without booing the artist offstage.

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