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About two months ago I had a brief encounter with a random girl of unkown status. Plenty of alcohol was involved, I let my guard down, and I ended up fingering her for about 10-15 seconds. Now, I understand that masturbation is a safe sex act that does not transmit HIV (hence why I even engaged in it in the first place), but I later realized that I had a cut about half an inch long on my finger that was about 4 days into the healing process.

Now, I'm well aware that fingering even with a healing cut would be considered extremely low risk or even no risk at all, but I still have trouble shaking off the fear that I somehow could've been the exception in this case. I constantly worry that perhaps the cut wasn't healed enough to protect me from potential infection.

Secondly, about 2 weeks later I experienced a really nasty migraine for about 4 days along with some constipation, upper abdominal pain, and a bit of nausea. On the 3rd/4th day in particular the migraine was really intense, with pain on both sides of the head and in my eye sockets (considerable amount of pain when I shifted my eyes from side to side or up and down), and some nausea. I barely got any sleep that night for how bad the pain was. The next day I got some codine tablets from the drug store though and the migraine went away. I'm well aware that you can't diagnose your HIV chances by symptoms alone, but just the fact that they occured within the ARS period really freaked me out.

I know I'm probably overreacting with this incident, but it still constantly lingers in the back of my mind. Today I'm gonna go see my family doctor and get his opinion on the matter, and possibly get tested. I'm already fearing the worst and I just hope that everything pans out well in the end.

I wouldn't even consider this to be an incident which required testing. HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It doesn't happen in the manner you're concerned about. The cut you had would have been well closed at four days even if it may not have appeared so to the naked eye. It's a situation in which transmission is theoretically possible but in the real world of HIV we know it doesn't happen in the manner you are concerned about.

If these are the only incidents you're concerned about you're testing negative is a slam dunk.

Well, my doctor pretty much agrees with what you're saying. He too felt the incident was incredibly low risk, especially considering how the fact that my cut was already a few days into the healing process. He told me that taking the test was more of a precautionary measure to ease my mind, but he was very confident that everything was gonna turn up fine in the end and that I shouldn't lose any sleep over it. He also felt that my migraine episode wasn't relevant.

I'm gonna have to wait till Monday to find out my results, so needless to say it might be a bit of a difficult weekend until then. The visit did reassure me a bit though.

Thanks for your words of encouragement, Andy. It truly does mean a lot to me. The anxiety I get from fearing the worst possible outcome does tend to get the better of me I will admit. Sometimes I can simply shrug it off, meanwhile other times it completely takes me over. I guess what really put me over the edge was when I had those bad migraine/constipation/stomach ache symptoms during that one week though, and that just made me think the worst possible thing.

I do trust in your words as an expert on the subject though, and I do you and others when you say that there is no risk and nothing to worry about for my particular situation.

And that would be enough time to protect us from potential infections? That truly is something amazing. It's incredible to see just how fast our bodies are able to regenerate, even in spite of what is visible to us.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

The worst thing about it is that over the past couple of months I've kept putting ridiculous notions into my head like "what if the cut was't healed quite enough?", or "what if she was still bleeding a little bit inside her vagina?" and so forth. I know they're far fetched questions to be asking, but they're ideas that constantly circulate through my head. It's as though once I'm assured that there's nothing to worry about from my situation, I look for something else to make me panic.

I suppose my paranoia is my own cross to bear. I can tell you that on some days it is indeed a very heavy cross though lol

I deleted the post you left in another person's thread. If you'd read the Welcome Thread like I asked you to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

You didn't have a risk through fingering. If you cannot bring yourself to believe us, test and collect your inevitable negative result. However, you won't be permitted to use this forum to go on and on about your no-risk event.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Well folks, tomorrow morning I should be getting my test results. Needless to say, I still am quite nervous even in spite of all the reassurance I've gotten from you. I know it's probably foolish on my part to be so paranoid about such a low risk encounter, but nevertheless it's difficult not to be somewhat nervous considering the seriousness of the situation. I keep reminding myself that fingering, even in spite of my cut, is an extremely low risk act (or no risk at all). Then I keep thinking things like "what if the cut wasn't healed enough", or "what if there was some menstrual blood that I didn't notice", etc. Then there's that period of migraine headaches and sharp stomach pains about 2 1/2 - 3 weeks after the encounter keeps sticking out in my mind; making me think "what if" they were symptoms of ARS. Perhaps I should stop reading about this stuff on the net and just try to relax, lol.

In any case, thank you all very much for your support through all this either way. Hopefully I can return the favour by announcing a good result tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck

Perhaps I should stop reading about this stuff on the net and just try to relax, lol.

The above sounds like a very, very good idea. Get busy with other things today.

Lol, indeed. Anxiety and obsession getting the better of me I suppose. If I wasn't aware of what "ARS" was and I didn't experience those symptoms to begin with I wouldn't even have considered the idea of getting tested to begin with.

Lol, indeed. Anxiety and obsession getting the better of me I suppose. If I wasn't aware of what "ARS" was and I didn't experience those symptoms to begin with I wouldn't even have considered the idea of getting tested to begin with.

Yes, well now that you know what you know, get busy with other things ANYWAY.

Got my test results back today, which both came back NEGATIVE for HIV and Hepatitis B. I just wanna say thank you to both Andy and Ann for their help and reassurance during this period, and thanks for having so much patience in putting up with my anxiety and paranoia. You guys are doing a great thing by providing your support and knowledge through this website to people that need it the most. Thank you very much again and best of luck to all of you in the future.

Based on what I've read from various experts on the web, oral sex is considering to be an extremely low-risk act in terms of HIV transmission. Many doctors on website such as medhelp.org would evaluate the "risk" factor as being 1 in 10,000, or even 1 in 20,000 for those who are performing oral (doing the sucking).

With that in mind, could we easily assume that a male receiving oral (being sucked) is at an even lower risk for any potential transmission? Have there been tests conducted between an HIV positive person performing oral on non-infected person to further assess the chances of transmission?

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

There is no way you're going to become infected through someone sucking you. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

I know what your next question will be - what about blood in the mouth?

Unless you're in the habit of repeatedly punching a person in the mouth before they blow you, there could not possibly be enough blood present to cause any concern whatsoever.

Not one person has ever been infected through getting a blowjob and you are certainly not going to be the first.

By the way, those 1 in whatever numbers are a load of hooie. The websites that use those numbers are citing the CDC. The CDC arrived at those numbers using one, single discredited study. They're inaccurate and all they do is encourage people to play russian roulette with their sexual health.

Here's what you need to know in order to protect your negative hiv status:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER GETTING A BLOWJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for the feedback, Ann. Was just something that I always pondered, but never really bothered to get much clarity on. You tend to find a lot of conflicting evidence online, but as you said, sources like CDC tend to exaggerate the theories a tad (I'm sure their motives are good though). Thanks for the prompt and in-depth response though.

Lastly, you mentioned the ability of human saliva to eliminate HIV's infectious properties. Therefore, we can confidently say that if someone had minor amounts of blood in their mouth (for example, some slight bleeding in the gums from brushing of the teeth), that the saliva would do a good enough job in eliminating any potential of infection? Would the fact that the inside of the mouth is constantly being exposed to air also help in eliminating the infectious properties?

You're correct. Saliva would disable any blood in the mouth from brushing or flossing or whatever. That's why I said you'd have to repeatedly punch the person in the mouth before they blew you for there to be enough blood to be of even the slightest concern.

The mouth is a very inhospitable place not only for hiv, but for many other pathogens besides. Otherwise, we'd be sick all the time.

You can get as many blowjobs as you want are able to get and never have one worry about being infected with hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

You're correct. Saliva would disable any blood in the mouth from brushing or flossing or whatever. That's why I said you'd have to repeatedly punch the person in the mouth before they blew you for there to be enough blood to be of even the slightest concern.

The mouth is a very inhospitable place not only for hiv, but for many other pathogens besides. Otherwise, we'd be sick all the time.

You can get as many blowjobs as you want are able to get and never have one worry about being infected with hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

I've read up on some older threads on this form, and it seems pretty safe to say that fingering or mutual masterbation is a no-risk sexual activity. My question involves an extra variable though, which is fingering someone who happens to be menstruating at the same time...

I had an encounter with someone that I've known for many years that involved me fingering her for a few minutes. During the fingering I noticed a considerable amount of blood on my fingers, and it turned out that she had unknowingly gotten her period. Upon realizing this I washed my hands with anti-bacterial soap. She isn't someone that lives a very care-free sexual lifestyle, and she assured me that during her previous brief relationship she always practiced safe sex, and that I had nothign to worry about.

Now once again I realize fingering or mutual masterbation is a safe practice, and I also know that the chances of her even having anything is practically zero as well. I suppose that seeing the blood on my fingers has made me somewhat skeptical in regards to just how safe it might've been though. I didn't have any noticeable cuts or sores on my fingers at the time either by the way.

I've merged your threads here. Our rule is to keep all of your entries in a single thread. Please follow that in the future.

You've been coming here long enough to know that you had another non-risk incident. Let's just keep this simple. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms everytime for those activities and you will be well protected.

You could have HIV+ blood on your fingers and have nicks and such and it wouldn't make any difference in terms of risk. HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in that manner. Period.

You need to get into the habit of applying what has been said to you in the past to your ongoing sexual experiences.

I've merged your threads here. Our rule is to keep all of your entries in a single thread. Please follow that in the future.

You've been coming here long enough to know that you had another non-risk incident. Let's just keep this simple. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms everytime for those activities and you will be well protected.

You could have HIV+ blood on your fingers and have nicks and such and it wouldn't make any difference in terms of risk. HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in that manner. Period.

You need to get into the habit of applying what has been said to you in the past to your ongoing sexual experiences.

Thank you. Unlike previous cases, I'm not so much paranoid this time around, but more inquisitive than anything else. I just really wanted to get some clarity on whether or not the risk factor would change in the event that menstrual blood was thrown into the mix. I think I was more shocked and caught off guard by the sight of it than anything else, and it might've sparked a bit of concern or skepticism on my part. I'm assuming that it can't be transmitted via underneath the fingernails either then in that case, correct?

When we tell you that fingering is not a risk for hiv infection regardless of whatever extra details you can think of, that includes fingernails. Fingernails are part of the finger, after all. Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection!

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

When we tell you that fingering is not a risk for hiv infection regardless of whatever extra details you can think of, that includes fingernails. Fingernails are part of the finger, after all. Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection!

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann

Thanks Ann. I really just wanted to make sure that the menstrual blood wouldn't have made a difference. I appreciate the reassurance

Visited my doctor a few days ago regarding this incident, just to get his feedback into the situation as well. I explained to him the presence of menstrual blood during the incident, and he too felt it was nothing I should really be concerned about. He didn't think that testing would really be merited, unless of course it was to put my mind at ease and alleviate my worries. I think I'm gonna go back in about a month from now (6 weeks post "exposure") to get tested, hoping to put these fears to rest once and for all...

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks, Ann. I hope so. I know that my fears are due more to anxiety than anything else, but I just can't help it. I guess the fact that blood was incorporated into the mix made me a bit more uneasy than usual. I might've had a very tiny little nick or cut in my skin as well (size of the head of a pin), although it wasn't deep or particularly fresh. Anyways, I know I'm just stressing useless details here, but I guess I just need that reassurance that only a negative result can give me.

So in this situation, even if a person DID happen to have HIV, the risk factor is still non-existent in my case?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I've explained my incident to other medical professionals, who have also told me that they see it as being essentially "non-risk". This has helped to alleviate some of my fears, but needless to say it is still something that is always at the back of my mind. I read in another thread that the vaginal secretions that contain HIV are typically found around the cervix. When I was doing the fingering, I happen to remember getting in there pretty deep, pretty much touching that "ball" at the very back of the cavity, so if in the event this person was HIV+, and I did happen to have a tiny wound on my finger, wouldn't that make me more susceptible?

Secondly, it is said that HIV cannot survive outside of its host, and needs to be within a warm environment for it to remain active (such as inside the vagina or anus for example). If I was fingering her for a few moments, and my fingers had remained inside of her vagina for that entire time, wouldn't that potentially increase the risk seeing as how the menstrual blood or her vaginal secretions didn't come in contact with the air during that time?

Clearly you are caught up in HIV fears and you continue to feed those fears by surfing the net, which is a very bad idea.

We're not going to indulge you further in with every what if and but maybe that comes up for you. If you decide to test it is strictly for your peace of mind. As your doctor, Ann and I have all said, you are worrying needlessly.

I am going to warn you that if you continue to return with more of this mental handwringing you're going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. Consider yourself warned.

Understood, Andy. I apologize for being somewhat of a nuissance. Anxiety tends to get the better part of me regarding this I suppose, especially dealing with "what if's" and hypothetical situations. I think I'll go next week (4 weeks post exposure) to get tested, just to put my mind at ease. I know it won't be conclusive at 4 weeks, but a potential negative result may calm me down somewhat nonetheless. If I'm still paranoid after that, then I will follow up with it at the 8-week mark.

Yours is a very common overreaction of fears and doubts when a guy has strayed from a relationship. So the real problem is not a genuine risk for HIV but rather guilt.

You did what you did. That's done and can't be undone. But fortunately doubts and fears are not facts. And the facts of your situation point clearly to a negative test result for you. You're a dog like a lot of us here. Take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. Really.

Thank you Andy. I would just never want to put someone I love so much at any kind of risk because I couldn't fight off temptation. Especially when this is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with...

Ya, the guilt is a back breaker. I just hope that that's all it is at this point. Sometimes I'm feeling ok, then the next thing you know I start to think about it a little too deeply and I get scared again. It makes it so difficult for me to concentrate on anything anymore.

Definitely gonna try my best to do that. I think the fear really spiked when I noticed that I got what appeared to be a case of Angular Cheilitis about a week after the incident, and my girlfriend came down with what appeared to be a minor UTI (lasted about a day or two) after we had sex. Immediately, probably ARS symptoms came into my head, and just snowballed from there. I know symptoms should not be analyzed at all when trying to diagnose HIV, but it's hard to overlook them when they tend to happen immediately following an incident.

When you notice you're worried, take note and then move on to the next thought. Those thoughts only stick when you panic and try to push them away. Have the thought, let it be and then let the next one come. You'll see. That works.

Decided to bite the bullet today and went to get tested (6 weeks post "exposure"). I understand based on what you were all kind enough to tell me that my situation was non-risk and I shouldn't be worried. I guess this is just my way of trying to deal with my anxiety and get the fear out of my mind once and for all (reassurance and closure always helps). The doc told me not to expect my results until Monday, so needless to say it's gonna be a pretty loooong weekend weekend for me lol. Lets just hope for the best case scenario...