My Bill Gates Report Paper.

William Henry Gates III is today recognized as a status symbol, a man who is associated with wealth and who redefined American business. As a boy Bill Gates was not called Bill he was referred to by his friends and family as ?Trey? because of the III after his name. Contrary to popular belief Bill?s childhood was not uneventful in-fact it was full of the very ingredients that would one day make him the wealthiest man in the world. Bill was always very competitive in everything he did. He would play tennis, swim, and play board games with his friends. Bill was never really big enough to play contact sports but this is not to say he was a wimp; one summer Bill and his scout troop went on a grueling hike. Bill was badly prepared for the hike with brand new shoes that had not been worn in. The shoes caused his feet to be rubbed raw and start to bleed. Even though the pain was great Bill kept on going until he could no longer walk. This is an excellent example of his determination, which is a trait that became so valuable to him later in life. The Gates family was a very healthy place for Bill; his parents Mary and Bill were tremendous influences on him. His father, a high-powered lawyer in the firm Shidler, McBroom, Gates & Lucas. It was Mary Gates however who supplied her son with a strong will and confrontational style. It was said that Bill Sr. was a quiet man in his law firm and he exerted control through calm talks. The fact that Bill Jr. was a gifted child was not unnoticed by his family and his teachers in grade school. Bill was an amazing mathematician and problem solver. He had an easy grasp on what most would consider highly intellectual topics. One time Bill demonstrated his photographic memory by scanning and then reciting the Sermon on the Mount. The priest at the catholic school he attended was so amazed he took Bill and his classmates out for dinner. Bill would soon discover his first computer, when he attended Lakeside High School. Lakeside was a prestigious prep school that many rich families in the Seattle area sent their children to. It was filled with the brightest and the best students in the whole area. Bill was immediately a stand out amongst his academic peers, considered the smartest kid in school. Bill was an eccentric kid, not overly nice to everyone but rather sort of obnoxious. His intelligence level made his being obnoxious the only way to interact with his peers. Bill was almost intimidating smart and on more than one occasion he was seen arguing with teachers vehemently. He got into long-winded debates with teachers over certain math problems that the teacher had not completed properly, he surprisingly held his own in the arguments, winning usually. He is just that smart that he can argue comfortably with accomplished adults in many fields of study, he had reason to be arrogant.

i think it needs quite a bit of grammar help. seeing it paragraphed would help. also, it's been hammered into me that the inital paragraph (i guess your first few sentences) are not supposed to have anything substantive or detailed. its supposed to just basically outline what the next [few] paragraphs will be about.

[anti-gates sentiment]i also dont like how in all those words you don't seem to have made any personal attacks on gates, his family or his generally disgusting nature. quite unmac-like; and i expect a certain anti-gates feeling here at AppleInsider. remember, he (and ms) is the enemy. and we can't perpetuate any positive notions about our nemeses.[/anti-gates sentiment]

At a quick glance, there appears to be little variation in sentence structure, many of them are just "Bill....". I understand that he is the topic of the report, but there should be some more variation, possibly more "He..." or rearrange the sentence so his name is not always at the front.

Also, some of the sentences seem to have lots of filler and repetitive ideas, i.e.

"Lakeside was a prestigious prep school that many rich families in the Seattle area sent their children to. It was filled with the brightest and the best students in the whole area. Bill was immediately a stand out amongst his academic peers, considered the smartest kid in school."

The first sentence establishes that it's a prep school, so it should be fairly obvious that the children of rich parents would attend it... it should also follow that many students there were fairly smart. The sentence describing Bill could easily be condensed to "Bill was considered by many to be the smartest student at Lakeside High."

<strong>M, why did you do a report on him anyway?</strong><hr></blockquote>

It's be said, vary sentence structure. Also what class is this for that it is so short? And last but not least...tell about how he is a coniving weisel.

Bill Gates is a bastard, i have no respect for him as a human being at all. As a business man sure, he is really good...or was, and he tricked america, i give him props for that. THe only other person who tricked america as good as gates did is our current president. (hope my comments dont move this to fireside, haha)

First of all this the start of a 7 page paper. I was given a list of 80 people to chose so I naturally chose Bill Gates because Steve wasnt on the list. I have to write a balanced and fair factual account of Gates in the first 6 pages. After the first 6 I can write my personal opinions about Mr.Gayes....DONT WORRY I WILL FLAME HIM IN THAT PORTION ON THE PAPER. This is a research report for my american history class.

[quote] William Henry Gates III is today recognized as a status symbol, a man who is associated with wealth and who redefined American business. As a boy Bill Gates was not called Bill he was referred to by his friends and family as "Trey" because of the III after his name. Contrary to popular belief Bill's childhood was not uneventful in-fact it was full of the very ingredients that would one day make him the wealthiest man in the world. Bill was always very competitive in everything he did. He would play tennis, swim, and play board games with his friends. Bill was never really big enough to play contact sports but this is not to say he was a wimp; one summer Bill and his scout troop went on a grueling hike. Bill was badly prepared for the hike with brand new shoes that had not been worn in. The shoes caused his feet to be rubbed raw and start to bleed. Even though the pain was great Bill kept on going until he could no longer walk. This is an excellent example of his determination, which is a trait that became so valuable to him later in life. The Gates family was a very healthy place for Bill; his parents Mary and Bill were tremendous influences on him. His father, a high-powered lawyer in the firm Shidler, McBroom, Gates & Lucas. It was Mary Gates however who supplied her son with a strong will and confrontational style. It was said that Bill Sr. was a quiet man in his law firm and he exerted control through calm talks. The fact that Bill Jr. was a gifted child was not unnoticed by his family and his teachers in grade school. Bill was an amazing mathematician and problem solver. He had an easy grasp on what most would consider highly intellectual topics. One time Bill demonstrated his photographic memory by scanning and then reciting the Sermon on the Mount. The priest at the catholic school he attended was so amazed he took Bill and his classmates out for dinner. Bill would soon discover his first computer, when he attended Lakeside High School. Lakeside was a prestigious prep school that many rich families in the Seattle area sent their children to. It was filled with the brightest and the best students in the whole area. Bill was immediately a stand out amongst his academic peers, considered the smartest kid in school. Bill was an eccentric kid, not overly nice to everyone but rather sort of obnoxious. His intelligence level made his being obnoxious the only way to interact with his peers. Bill was almost intimidating smart and on more than one occasion he was seen arguing with teachers vehemently. He got into long-winded debates with teachers over certain math problems that the teacher had not completed properly, he surprisingly held his own in the arguments, winning usually. He is just that smart that he can argue comfortably with accomplished adults in many fields of study, he had reason to be arrogant.

to be honest i didn't read the whole thing, i can't without paragraph spacing. Some tips from what I did read: check your commas (you need to add/delete some), and I agree with the sentence variation tip. My Professor gave us a full sheet with how to think about and write any kind of paper. Then he gives 17 specific things to do after you think your paper is done (when it's really not). Outlining, talking your paper thought and re-re-re-re-re-read.

Good Luck and don't forget to post your finished paper and what you get on it.

I have trouble reading without paragraphs, too. I didn't read past the first six lines, but I already drew a general synopsis of your paper.

I'm no English major but...

Try to think of your paragraphs in triangles. Either bringing the reader from a broad view to a specific point or vice versa.

Introduction Paragraph

Broad to Specific (includes thesis)

Supporting paragraphs

Broad to specific (include bridges between paragraphs)

Conclusion Paragraph

Specific to Broad (reiterates points of essay)

My English teacher advised that its best to make a rough draft, then assemble your thoughts on the computer. After you're done, allow the paper to cool-off for a few days. When you reread it days later, you'll find many mistakes or problems you didnt see initially.

<strong>[anti-gates sentiment]i also dont like how in all those words you don't seem to have made any personal attacks on gates, his family or his generally disgusting nature. quite unmac-like; and i expect a certain anti-gates feeling here at AppleInsider. remember, he (and ms) is the enemy. and we can't perpetuate any positive notions about our nemeses.[/anti-gates sentiment]</strong><hr></blockquote>

<strong>May I ask why you're posting this "report" here? If you need help with writing you would do well to find a tutor or teacher who can help you. You need personal help, not internet blah blah blah.</strong><hr></blockquote>heheh

His post is just quintessential Macintosh. Post something, like a movie, or a report, that's really really bad, to get attention and flames. Always remember - any attention is good attention! Just ask Jerry Springer!

Let me start by saying that this isnt my final draft. I am not even done with half of it. I just wanted some help because I have been writing this very quickly. Is the content really that bad? Remember, the point of the paper is to basically give a bio of the person and then I can add my personal opinion section to the report. Thanks for the comments.