a) If you're playing ball with your human in the park and they get tired and go for a sit down, embarrass and shame them into continuing by incessantly barking as loud as possible.

If that fails dig a hole next to them (they'll want to move then in case the park-keeper is watching) - this ploy works even better if you're on a beach as you will spray them with sand…and EVEN better if they're eating a sandwich!

b) Always be first to greet your human when they return home from work - your welfare is the reason they went to work in any case, to buy your food and pay your vet bills.

Show them you appreciate why they spend so long at work - don't let them in the door until they've spent a good ten minutes making a fuss of you and then they'll sometimes try to distract you by giving you a treat!

(C. Jenner, Birmingham)

Quote from Josh Billings

No man is so poor that he can't afford to keep one dog, and I've seen them so poor that they could afford to keep three.