Make Steve from accounts PAY with the Funtrak Mini Paintball Tank

Awkward company team-bonding session on the way? Would you rather stay at home on the internet than be forced to go outside and have fun with all the aggressive alpha males?

Well, you can at least liven things up a bit at the next corporate morale-raising paintballing session, with this – the £8000 Paintball Panzer.

Yes, it really is a small tank equipped with a paint-firing canon. Custom-built to fit you, it’s yours if you have £8000 to literally waste and don’t mind waiting three months for the company to stop laughing about actually managing to sell one and build it for you.

The head is left dangerously exposed, though. You would be extremely vulnerable to a rear attack.