When I was pregnant, I was always asked about who would come to help after my son arrived. The questions made me nervous as I am typically an introverted, independent person. Which means, I need my space and need to do things my way. The idea of having my out of town family members come to live with me for a period of time, no matter how close I am with them, was not my ideal of having a peaceful postpartum period. I would feel the need to "host" my out of town family, my husband would have to drive them around town, to and from the hospital, tending to their needs and our needs too. It was too much for me and stressed me out; so I requested that everyone stay home until we had been home for a few weeks to adjust to life as parents. This, of course is not a popular thing to discuss, but I felt that since it was our experience, we needed to ask this of our family. We laid out our planning and reasoning for it with them. They eventually came around and I was glad to have helped everyone adjust their expectations of our first few weeks as parents. Once they did arrive, I felt like we could enjoy the visit more as I had a chance to figure things out and establish my new family routine. We enjoyed spending Christmas together and they got to spend lots of time with our son as they wanted.

In planning for our postpartum time, my husband and I imagined our first week with our son to be a peaceful time with no expectations other than to stay in bed and tend to my healing, nursing my son and caring for each other. Then I realized there were things I did need help with. I wanted to breastfeed my son and knew I needed support for this. It had been years since I had cared for a baby (my brother 11 years younger) so I knew I needed support for all the questions I would have. None of our close friends at the time were parents, nor were they planning to be so I started looking around for help. That is when I discovered the Postpartum Doula. This was a perfect solution for me. Someone who would come into my home a few hours a day and support me for the period of time that I needed. My Doula was someone who would be impartial and non-judgmental and sensitive to my needs as a recovering first time (older) mom in the throes of a hormonal-sleep deprived mess! Shortly after hiring her, I discovered that I had pre-eclampsia and ended up having an emergency c-section at 34 weeks. My son was in the Special Care Nursery for 10 days. I remained in touch with my Postpartum Doula while in the hospital who coached me on getting the support I needed from the hospital staff so I could breastfeed my son for the next 14 months! Without her help, I don't think I would have been successful with my breastfeeding goals. Once we got home, she was a calming presence, my dogs didn't even bark when she came in! Every visit she was focused on me, listened to my questions and answered them with evidenced based information. She gave me handouts, showed me how to nurse in different positions, bathe my son, and wear him around the house as tiny as he was. She allayed my fears as we talked about preemie development and behaviors and she became my friend and mentor. Of all the money I spent on preparing for the birth of my son, hiring her was money well spent! I hope that as you are preparing for the birth of your baby or thinking of a way to gift someone special to you, you will think to hire a Postpartum Doula. My positive postpartum experience was attributed to being prepared for it and having the right people in place to help. Take some time to plan your postpartum period. You will be glad you did!

Eno River Postpartum Doula, LLC"Supporting families in the fourth trimester"919-357-0371Enoriverppdoula@gmail.com

Suzanne Lee is a Postpartum Doula who supports families in the fourth trimester. Each family learns breastfeeding or bottle feeding basics, infant sleep and soothing and postpartum recovery measures. She also provides light household keeping, cooking and referrals to professionals in the area.Based in Durham, NC, She also serves the following areas in the Triangle: Chapel Hill, Hillsborough, Raleigh, Cary and Apex.