Sunday, 26 December 2010

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving. -- (Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms)

I'm sitting here in my hangar, leaning back in my office chair that I nicked from some station administrators office, watching The men who stare at goats, a rather funny movie about men who stare at goats

"Dramiel, in the 2/10, piloted by DEATH RIGHTS"

The comm so loud I fall out of the chair as I was balancing rather precariously. I get the boys working on firing up Ridcully, a Jaguar class assault frigate which is rather suited to the job at hand.

Undocking can sometimes take an age to accomplish and it's at these times where patience is truly tested.

Once in the black, I set warp directly to the 2/10, hammering the scanner in that direction, making sure the Dram would still be there. Of course it was, it's a Dramiel, piloted by the most fearsome of warriors, scared of nothing and armed to the teeth.

I activate the ancient acceleration gate and warp into the first room, where my scanner says the Dramiel is. This is conformed as I land, the Dram 35km away. I start to close, the Dram, here for a fight, does the same.

He's quick, very quick and soon we are engaged in mortal combat. He deploys a flight of hobgoblins, they start in on me. Shields holding, for now but he is actively tanked and is doing well against my damage. I overload, his shields start to fail, as have mine, he starts to get range, his drones still on me but I make short work of them as he has now gained about 50 clicks on me.

My shields start to recharge, large chunks of my light armour is missing but the fight is far from over. He closes to within warp disruptor range and holds me in place, another drone is sent my way but it meets a sticky end. He's far quicker than I am, so I need to be smarter.

I hit my afterburners and burn away from him, making straight lines, waiting for him to chase, waiting for the right moment to perform an old and trusted maneuver, the Crazy Ivan.

I gain some range and I can see him make to close, I overheat my afterburner, full thrust and turn directly into his trajectory. He almost runs right into me, but is now webbed and scrammed. I can no longer overheat my weapons as they'll burn out leaving me at his mercy, but I'm firing everything, the race is on, his shields break, my shields break, a Sabre interdictor rocks up, makes my life a little more interesting and I explode...

A moment of worry as my systems freeze up as I try to warp my escape pod out of harms way, I panic like someone who really panics but the lag subsides and I whip the escape pod to safety.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

An interesting evening in which no-one would engage in random acts of hostility*, various gangs of varying sizes up and down New Eden being reported in a variety of intel channels.

A few of the Rizzel clan were off doing other ventures, whilst I and an associate made life more interesting for some folks trying to run an anomaly in Eifer, unfortunately I wasn't able to make it at all interesting as I always seemed to be just out of range as they warped in.

One particular gang caught my eye, three Cynabals, a Loki and a Curse. They flew through Gusandall and left just as myself in a Bhaalgorn and a few other of the locals got together to play host. Unfortunately my character was called into question as I had kindly asked them to come to station to fight.

They all left to high sec space and as I was sitting on the gate in my Ghetto Bhaalgorn, the Loki jumped back in and warped to the station.

With nothing to lose, I offer the Loki pilot a duel against my Stabber Fleet Issue.

With slight hesitation he agrees, after the locals agree to stay out of it of course. I offer my usual terms, for him to form gang and choose safespot, but he chooses to fight at Planet V and advertises it in local. This of course got my Admiral Akbar senses tingling but I had plenty of friends in local who would treat a violation of a 1v1 very seriously.

He doesn't have a point fitted as he asks in local if anyone has one. Voodoo is kind enough to give him one, as he's afraid I might try and run, he obviously doesn't know me.

I'm waiting at planet V as he warps in 50 clicks away. I do the usual Lame Kane™ as I hit my MWD but only at 50% thrust to close the distance. At 30km I'm webbed and pointed.

The gap closes quicker than he expects with him now firmly between my crosshairs.

Guns, go green.Warriors are a go.

With Flubber now face to face with the Loki, things go downhill for him, he deploys a flight of ec-300 drones, properly shitting himself as his Loki is about to die but they don't get a jam off as he explodes.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS EC-300s DID NOT WORK AGAINST ME.

'Good fight' is shared in local as he warps his pod out, the duel honoured by both parties and a smile across my face as I scoop the loot.

Friday, 17 December 2010

He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk. -- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

Yet another vessel of destruction was christened into the NovaKane Incorporated fleet this fine evening, a Machariel class battleship named Interesting Times.

It is a ship of some magnificence, bold lines, sleek, fast and nimble, above all, she is insanely beautiful. If this ship were a woman, she would be Milla Jovovich in the Resident Evils.

A Legion pilot had been loitering between Eifer and Gusandall and General Dogzbody decided to bait the fellow into action. He deployed his Thorax class war vessel to an asteroid belt in Eifer and waited... Patiently.

"POINT" yelled Dogz, after a few minutes "Four-Two, Eifer"

Interesting Times undocked for the first time in anger and warped to the Eifer gate, jumped through and warped to Dogz' position.

"Bloody hell this thing is quick" I said to myself.

I landed about 30 clicks from the action, pulsed the MWD, locked the target, depolyed drones and opened up with some heavy duty ammunition.

I closed the gap at 2km/s, IN A FRICKIN BATTLESHIP.

The Legion wasn't long for the universe, it exploded, illuminating the beautiful lines of Interesting Times, an interesting ship for sure.

I'm also glad to be on the same killmail as long time friend Jonathan Xavier, who made a trip down to Eifer to come see what this Piracy lark is all about.

As a note on the Machariel, I'm not sure I like it.

Why?

Well, it's not a ship suited to my style. It's designed and built to fight at range, on the edge of the action and as such doesn't really suit my 'in your face, bloody nose, in it till you die' style, it will take some getting used to.

Over one thousand theoretical damage per second at 60km is nice on paper to be honest but I prefer the Bhaalgorn.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

"Idiot I may be, but tied up I ain't." -- Gaspode the wonder dog (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"Maelstrom class battleship in Eifer, running a mission for Vir Honn"

Good old Vir, always kind enough to throw us some business every now and again.

An associate is immediately asked if she would be so kind as to pinpoint the location of said battleship as I made preperations for negotiations.

Havelock Vetinari, my Bhaalgorn class intrument of destruction is prepped and soon I'm heading towards the Eifer gate, as I land I get a call "Target loacted, warp to me on jump"

I jump in and warp to my associates loaction. I land a mere 19clicks off but no matter, I open negotitions for the contents of the Maelstrom. Tackled, neuted and being hit by Mega Pulse laser fire, the Maelstrom starts to vent fuel and atmosphere into space, soon just a wreck is left as the escape pod warps off.

I examine the contents if the wreck and grab that which is of worth and warp out, content in the knowledge of a job well done.

It's only once I examine the killmail and the that which I looted that I noticed a terrible error...

Seems I grabbed most everything except the most valuable item, a Caldari Navy Shield Boost Amplifier.

Keira is not going to be happy, but hey, I'm Kane Rizzel, even I make mistakes.

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