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dieting

I wanted to be part of the human race and start blogging like everyone else. My problem however, stemmed from me not wanting to really share my personal life. That seemed way to invasive. I still don’t understand how people can just tweet their minute to minute daily activities. Further, I can’t understand, that people actually read it. But, needless to say, it is the way of our new cyber life and I have now jumped in with both feet.

My dilemma still remained? What do I write about? Well, after my last blog, To Carb or Not To Carb, I felt naturally inclined to speak about my eating habits. I thought this of the utmost importance as I feel that most people have issues with eating, including myself.

I was a fashion model all my life. I acted as well as a video model during the early 90’s. That’s pretty much the lifestyle that I knew. As a model, you don’t eat. If you do eat, you end up throwing it up. Yuk! But, that’s what you did. Most models are not naturally super skinny. Typically, skinniness is induced by drug use or bulimia. Not very healthy but the end result is effective. It was funny, I just saw one of my Fav’s-Michelle Pfeiffer on Pierce Morgan, who is not my Fav, talking about not eating for her role in Scarface. Then she went on to say that as a young starlet actress she lived on Coca-Cola and cigarettes, but she was skinny! Skinny shminny! Is it really worth it?

Of course, I developed an eating disorder for years. It was very difficult to kick bulimia. Bulimia was only one of the symptoms of my real “dis-ease”, which was that I was an ego maniac with an inferiority complex. Without any self esteem, naturally what I looked liked defined me. Of course, Hollywood and those fashion magazines supported these ideologies.

Redefining myself had to happen for survival. I certainly would kill myself if I didn’t. I don’t mean that I wanted to commit suicide, I just mean that my lifestyle and how I treated myself would certainly kill me.