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Thursday, July 25, 2013

"It's a girl" - The three deadliest words in the world- by Evan Grae Davis

After watching many inspiring TEDXvideos at the "Idea Caravan" by Franklin Templeton investments, the one which touched me is "Its a girl" video by Evan Grae Davis where gendercide is highlighted. Gendercide is a major issue in countries like China and India where male to female ratio is as high as 120:100 . Sex selective abortion , merciless infanticide and violence at any stage of life are some practices to get rid of the unwanted gender which most of the time is female. I was moved after watching the video and also the trailer of the short film he made. Evan being a film maker has roamed around the world and knows many unbelievable facts and statistics but he says the one which moved him immensely was the sight in a village some where in the fields of south India where a women strangled 8 girl children mercilessly and buried them in the inner parts of the field. I was baffled like Evan when I saw that she mentioned what she did with zero emotions and zero remorse but the thing is it is all a vicious cycle. She didn't want to repeat the history once a girl child is born. I am not supporting her act which is a horrendous crime but in some regions of India or china or to that matter any other country where a woman is treated with disrespect in many communities and where a woman is just considered as a commodity or a carrier of the child and where you have to pay to get her married this is bound to happen. Specially for women below the poverty line it is tough to thrive and be independent and fight.

Last year a program hosted by Aamir khan titled Satyameva jayate was aired on starplus which dealt with many humanitarian issues. The very first episode relayed on 6th May 2012 dealt with female foeticide. You can watch the episode below and know some unbelievable facts of India. This is not the issue faced only by people below the poverty line. Even well educated folks , people staying in villas and bungalows also get displeased when they come to know that a girl child is about to enter the family. They mercilessly kill the girl foetus or worst part is they kill the girl baby once it is born. That's the reason finding the gender before birth is a crime in India but where there is a law there are too many law breakers too. Every one easily knows the sex of the child by bribing the doctors. You can watch it all in the episode below to know how the corrupted doctors ease the crime. I was literally in tears when I watched this episode.

A viewer gave feed back after the episode that nothing can be solved by going against Rajasthan govt. An appeal to Rajasthan govt may lead to speedy court trials but he makes sense as it is not the problem of just Rajasthan. The solution to this issue seems tough but by such episodes we can at least spread awareness and imbibe sense in to people.

When we look at the bigger picture of female foeticide/infanticide issue it shows many intertwined problems which are age old norms and policies of our society like dowry which is a nightmare for many people who can't bear the bulky demands , a girl's education which is not that important and many other age old traditions. Female is a burden and a downtrodden sex and will remain so as per many ignorant people. In the patriarchal society we live in even literacy doesn't help in educating people. People believe in what they want to and do what they feel like with out giving a second thought to horrible consequences. The forced abortions of China stumped me. People who work for the family planning council drag the women for the forced abortion. In few places as there is scarcity of girls they are bought from other states and countries for marriage. There are many stories through out India and through out the world which we are not aware of.From female foeticide to dowry crimes to acid attacks to honor killing India is topping the charts. All these problems are interrelated! We are one of the countries progressing fast. Our technological progress makes us feel that we are living in the futuristic era but our society and happenings make me feel we are living in the darkest possible time of the century!

The facts are astounding and unbelievable. If a mother in a rich family flees to protect her daughter , a daughter in law runs to TV channels requesting them to save her life as she would be burnt with kerosene by her in-laws and husband. If a woman buries the just born girl child fearing the wrath of the society and future problems she would face, a father gets her daughter married to a person who is double her age or kills her to save family's honor. We are living in caves and we are dangerous than the wild animals. A snake eats its off-springs as it is hungry immediately after delivering baby snakes but we eat our off springs as we all are hungry for the guidelines set by our idiotic society . Human race definitely is not very empathetic or sympathetic. People talk about crimes and forget. If some one raises voice against an influential person he would be silenced or bribed in no time. I am not totally supporting media intervention but as media gets more involved many social atrocities hidden under the carpet till now are seeing the day's light and sometimes even action is taken against the criminals!Even in Aamir's program few cases were taken to the fast track court. I haven't tracked if all the criminals are punished but I did not hear much after the end of the first season last year!

We can give funds to victims and raise our voices but I am not sure how to uproot the "wrong" thinking many have here . Just yesterday I was watching a documentary where a NRI girl Radha came to India to just understand why the mindsets are like that here! The insensitivity , the patriarchal society , the upbringing and false notions people imbibe and follow religiously from the day they are born is outrageous. Women are always considered a weaker sex , treated like one and hypnotized to actually believe that they belong to a gender which is many rungs below the male gender in many parts of the country. This video below shows various happenings which are hard to digest. Every one must be knowing the Dec 16 gang rape incident in Delhi. Criminals don't fear punishment here. They are so damn used to court trials and delayed judgments. The acid attack victim Tuba Tabassum brought tears in my eyes. I can just pray that all these victims get justice and those cold blooded criminals who want to be superior at any cost should get punished ASAP. They must not escape the wrath of innocent beings around them. Neither a girl's dressing nor her outgoing nature is an excuse for a boy to get provoked. No reason is good enough to justify the filthy crimes like rapes or acid attacks.

Coming back to female foeticides and infanticides the statistics just spin my head. In the below video there is also an orphan age home where they bring up the girls . Most of them are dumped in dust bins like trash just after they are born and some are just abandoned and some like Evan said are brutally killed. There is no compassion , no sensitivity and no humanity among us. I feel helpless when I think about bringing a revolution by educating such people. I really wish people wake up from their sound slumber , have a reality check and do their bit when ever it is needed !

The above video made me sad and helpless. When I think of the general perception many would have developed about India over the years I just can't argue or say some thing to contradict their belief and support my country!

I hope the protests don't die down and the rage doesn't get diluted once the headlines change the next day. I wrote the poem below with slightest hope for a change on the international women's day highlighting the atrocities against women.

Is this a real "Happy" Women's Day?

Happy women's day to all the women.Happy women's day to all the men who are with women to get rid of the bad o"men".A happy women's day is not to just brag about the day.A happy women's day is not just some thing to show off and say!

The real happy women's day is the day when she is actually happy and not in fray.The real happy women's day is when there is no looming cloud which is grey.Let's take a small oath today that tomorrow should be better in every possible way.Let's just join our hands with the hope of a better society and let's get together and pray !

Hope the day eventually comes when she gains respect from all.

Hope to make her point she always doesn't need a brawl.

Hope both the genders stand on the same plank and there would neither be rise nor fall.

Hope a woman will not be objectified and be treated like a pal!

The woman is your mother who thinks you are her best creation.

Even God shuns thinking he is none to frame the rules for this relation.

For every problem you face a woman can be your sibling and give a solution.

She can be your best friend and advise when there is a commotion!

Before advising men fellow women should learn to treat each other with respect.

Rather than pulling each other down, one should think about their better prospect.

Before asking others not to ill-treat you, love yourself and build supremacy over you.

Stick to your words and do not lose confidence how ever hard people try to break you!

You me and every one build this society we are living in from ages.

It has good, bad, ugly embedded and also malicious people in the disguise of sages!

Hoping that every one can be free spirited and not live in the self-built cages.

How sad na.. to be unwanted :( But then, these very people would look for brides for their sons who would provide them with grandsons - how then do these people think that women are born? Do they expect women to fall from the skies just to make sure that they give them grandsons!! Pathetic. I don't become sad reading this, instead my blood boils :/

ya they think women fall from skies I guess. U know there r many boys who r not getting married due to this very problem!We are at the verge of inhumanity really ........A man is a man's worst enemyTHANKS for reading Bhavya

Like Bhavya said, "How do people expect to maintain generations without women?" They need women to give birth to sons but can't handle a girl child! Seriously these people doesn't even have the minimum level of common sense.Truly pathetic!

ya that episode touched me. Its unbelievable to even think of such people's existence around us. You would have seen how that doc spoke ? I was shell shocked :(Thanks Pixie for reading and acknowledging the post

First, I so appreciate you for writing this. Next, this is a topic that really makes me depressed and angry equally. Nothing for it but that the mentality has to change. But with even the newest generation echoing the same old regressive views, I wonder where exactly we are headed. :(

A brave and an exhaustive post Afshan. Honestly, I feel this issue of female foeticide is so complex and only gradual, slow and steady changes shall bear fruitful results. from education, job security, poverty alleviation, primary health care centers should be invested in for people to see each other as equal. This task is bottom-up because role of govt is only that much. We, the people of India, have a bigger role to play. For the betterment of us and our girls and coming generations.And yes, that video.. :(

Powerful post! For decades and even today, females both women and children are not safe. They are misused or used, either way they are still suppressed as a gender. I don't see any improvement in any female's life without the change in attitude from the males and most importantly the society in which we live.

Truly, 'It's a girl' are the deadliest 3 words in our country. I am shocked on seeing that woman smiling and telling about killing 8 of her OWN daughters!! What can be more sickening than this!! When will we come out of this regressive outlook towards the girl child?!Very comprehensive post, Afshan. Good luck for the contest!

If Evan Davis is against feticide, why he didn't report this incident to police and get the woman arrested? Or is it the fake story created by him to promote his film? It is shame on Indian audience who are promoting his film in this way. This should have been reported to police first and no one from audience raised this question? he hs made a business by showing our country in bad light

I not only shared EVAN's video but also shared many other facts which are facts and there is no denying it. I have no intention in promoting his video or movie. It is written for a contest hence the link. The motive behind is to highlight the burning issue of the country which is there whether or not Evan makes a movie. Hope u know that. If there r bad happenings country is in bad state irrespective of some foreigner showing it in bad light ! All the videos and stories shared here ARE VERY MUCH real.. Raise your concern about not punishing the woman directly to him or if U have any means of tracking the woman and knowing the facts do let us know as well

Hi Afshan, Read this post after knowing that it won the contest. It deserves the prize. Your passion and commitment to the topic is strongly felt in the post. The poem at the end is icing on the cake... Very well written! Keep it up ...

Congrats Afshan. The post was very informative and touching as well. I loved the way you concluded the post. I have to agree it's not easy for women in many states of India. We can do our bit by spreading awareness and building supremacy over ourselves as you said.

Afshan, Congrats on winning the IdeaCaravan blogging drive with this well written and thoughtful post on gendercide. I am honored and humbled you chose my talk to highlight. All the best to you and keep up the great blog!!