If you won't fly without the Knee Defender or park without DrivewaySpikes, then you best not share a bed with a cover hog anymore without the Cover Clamp. The Cover Clamp secures sheets and comforters in place on the side of the bed, and on top of the person, that normally has them ripped away by the adjacent a-hole in the middle of the night.

Yep, it's the most ridiculous thing I've seen all month too. Well, next to that Russian diver.

Made with "the strongest spring clamps on the market," and covered with a super grippy, but linen-protective rubber composite, the Cover Clamp's clamp end clips onto your sheets, blankets, and duvet covers, while its Grip Pad end slips about 2' underneath your mattress. The clamp then protects your sheets from snoring thieves, and the pad protects the clamp as it holds tight to your mattress and box spring* (further strengthened by your body weight on top of it.)

The Cover Clamp also includes a side release buckle that will allow the person using it to get in and out of bed normally, instead of head-first. It can withstand yank forces of over 30 pounds, as well as keeps slack from occurring when you toss and turn.

People typically need just one Cover Clamp because most often it's just one selfish bastard who steals the covers at night. However, if you and your S.O. are both selfish bastards, you can opt to be fair and buy two.

*If you don't have a box spring or flat surface under your mattress, you can also secure the Cover Clamp strap directly to your bed frame.