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Tag: complacency

So I’m on a mission to get some things done after a particularly slow couple of months. I haven’t really been on any timeline to get anything done. This has been really nice. And by nice, I mean life changing.

One of the big things I’m learning in this time period is learning to really just relax. Put down the white board, the checklists, the constant need to measure myself against my ideal self, or the millions of more successful people than me that can be found on my timeline/feed/blogroll.

I’m learning to just exhale, accept myself and my flaws and try to grow organically.

For those that know me, this can seem disconcerting and even alarming.

However, I’ve been feeling the itch to get back active and move on to conquering the next big goal. I’ve decided to give myself a small short-term challenge which I’ll document here in order to push myself. Here is the outline for the challenge so far:

Write 6 chapters of an Ebook that I’ve outlined

Buy/Design BPR website

Listen to 6 BCPS lectures

Gastroenterology

Infectious Disease

Fluids, Electrolytes, and nutrition

Pharmacokinetics

Geriatrics

Critical Care

Listen to 8 podcasts and take notes then create 1-3 action steps for each.

I’m giving myself until 10/1/15 to get all this done. And as noted above, I’m going to keep track of my progress and thoughts on the blog. Also to spice things up – I’m going to tell a close friend that I’ll give them $200 if I don’t hit all my targets. I really don’t want to lose that $200. Let the games begin!

The other day I got to thinking about life. And how to take over the world or at least myself and I started to think about

FEAR:
More specifically – what I fear and how I try to avoid these things. I know that it would be be helpful for me to just tackle my fears and really conquer them. Over and over if necessary.

Then my mind drifted to the last time that I felt fear: During the academic portion of pharmacy school – I was trying to accomplish this big hairy audacious goal that really meant alot to me. I was afraid because I was required to really put myself out there and risk being made a fool of/ failing. And guess what – I did fail. Unfortunately – unlike all the self-help books that I’ve read since then – I didn’t keep pounding away at my goal – I kind of placed my goal on the corner of my desk and let life’s clutter kind of cover it. Every once in a while my goal would knock on the back door of my conscious and whisper “What about me? What about us?” – Of course I wouldn’t slam the door on my goal – I’d just ease it shut promising that “I’d get around to him; I’d attack him full force once I figured out a way to get him done but at the moment school just had all my attention so ..He could understand that right?”
Anyway – here we are two years later and that goal is still on my mental desk; Taking up the same amount of space but seemingly getting heavier. I try to ignore it or convince myself that the time for that goal is past – but no..its still here.

Saw this..

and it helped motivate me but also made me realize that the first and last thing that has to change in order for me to effect permanent change is MY MIND.

So – I’ll be trying to feed the hunger deep inside, put on my 4-finger ring, get ready for the hand-to-hand combat that we call life – and find a way to make sure that my mind doesn’t trapped in a complacent state of mind.