Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Selfishness Part III

Seems to be an interesting to talk about. Actually such issue has been around for quite some time. Like I said in the earlier post, in a time of changes (we're graduating), people tend to protect themselves. For example, a friend of mine seemed to be telling others that he doesnt know what to do after graduation; but long time ago, he secretly told me that he already has a good opportunity awaiting him. Now. some people may think that it's indecent to lie. But I find myself quite comfortable with his small white lie and I'll describe to you, why sometimes such white lie is necessary to maintain "world peace" for the now and here.

Ok. There have been several incidents which has really made me ponder whether being truthful and sharing with others is really beneficia to mel.

Case 1:We started with kind hearts, sharing news with friends around us about our job hunting process, including the companies details and interview experiences. Everything was ok until someone started to bad mouth at our back, saying that we are job application machines; that we should settle with the offer that we already get, stop hunting for other opportunities as this may jeopardize others' (maybe that loser himself) chance of getting a job.

Haha. Fine.I don't see how I would jeopoardize your chance if you yourself are good enough.I believe in the theory of abundance.And I just don't see why I cant continue my search for a better deal.

Case 2:So we learnt. Seeing that by being generous only makes others feel annoyed; and of course their reaction also annoyed us. So we learnt not to reveal things to them until we're certain of where we're going to work. Anyway we've got a real good deal, when a kind friend has generously shared his information with us. But he asked us not to reveal it to too many people. Ok. That's understandable. His generosity for us does not necessarily apply to others.

Everything went on ok. Until this kind friend got another better offer and he decided to hop. So he figured that its harmless to share the old news with others. And so he did. And guess wat? Now people think that we are the ones who are selfish and unwilling to share. o.O"

So now.... share or not share?

Case 3: (this is where the starter story applies)This is about another "we". So, we got offered a job by a good company. We figure that its a good thing and we encouraged others to apply. But turns out that some of your "friends" around you, instead of feeling happy for you, they actually feel bad about it. Maybe they think that you've taken away his opportunity, or maybe they think they're better than you.... (millions of reasons/excuses on the list). They start to show you cold faces, talking to you sarcastically....

Now. Sometimes we'll get caught in such dilemma of share or not share. I seriously don't mind sharing, as long as those audiences of mine don't respond to me with jealousy/coldness (nobody likes that). But of course, we cant control how others think and talk about us. I had a hard time thinking, trying to strike a balance in my mind in dealing with such situation.

So my conclusions are: (which I constantly remind myself to keep to)I'll share with those whom I believe would appreciate my effort rather than being jealous.I wont lie/hide when i'm being asked; at the same time, I wont automatically offer those details unless being asked.

Though sometimes i really feel like going evil. (you know, nowadays everybody seems to think that I'm a nice target to agitate/bully). But i'm still trying my best to remain sane. For those who are graduating, good luck and all the best in your job hunting. Just hope that my stories would enlighten you of how "realistic" the world is.