Wednesday, December 02, 2009

It's cool by the Pool - right? [COLUMN]

Change your own reality - by Nick van der Leek

This week I'm going to offer some practical advice. If you're feeling overwhelmed emotionally, and need to manage your stress, what you need to do is recognise the parent/child construct in your own situation. The parent part of you - your inner you - needs to step forward. And the parent has got to say: "TIMEOUT".

It should be mentioned here that intuition is not a feeling. It's a creative thinking style. It's very visual, but it's thinking, not feeling. Intuition is valuable and insightful. What we're aiming to address here is that treadmill of feeling that traps you in a paradigm where you find you can't do anything, you cannot complete tasks, discipline, and willpower and particularly follow-through, are sadly lacking. As alluded to above, the first step is to recognise that this self-defeating process is underway, and to call a timeout on yourself.

That may not be enough but it is the first step. The next step brings about a psysiological response, which is what you're yearning for.You want to feel differently, and if possible, just have a break from the episode you're in. Well, here's the answer.

What you do after taking the mental decision to have a timeout, is that you find a space where you can close your eyes. Close your eyes and move your eyes behind your closed lids from left to right, whilst looking in the direction of your jaw. Make approximately 24 swings [that's 24 in one direction, 48 pendulums in total]. And count them. You'll notice that very quickly your 'feeling-state' dissipates. Why? You have tricked your self into an REM state. Your brain then disconnects the feeling-aspect and allows you into a calm state of processing only. Try it. It works.

A third suggestion is that you project your thoughts, negativities, scenarios onto a best friend. Imagine that they have your thoughts, responses, ideas, actions. You will quickly see that these impressions are inappropriate, in fact not good enough if you value or respect yourself. It is easy to this when you project it onto another person.

What should then happen is that you begin to reject your self-imposed asylum, your ineffective feeling-thought paradigm. You then transition to performance, actions. This is how you change your own reality.

JUST PUBLISHED...the true story behind Steven Avery #MAKINGAMURDERER

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The Force Awakens is finally available on Amazon Kindle!

Is Luke Rey's father? What did that Force Vision mean? And much more!!!

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The story of our visit to the Steenkamp family and our firsthand impressions of what when on in court, behind the scenes...

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IT'S HERE! DECEIT Book #1 of our Brand New Series!

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AVAILABLE NOW! Book # 2 in the Bestselling #Shakedown Series

DARK MATTER digs deeper into the five days of intense police investigation immediately following the discovery of the British exchange student sharing a house with Amanda Knox.

Did she or didn't she? UNDER SUSPICION covers new territory providing new answers and new questions

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YAY!! It's here! OBSCURITY is Book # 6 the final book in our bestselling series on Jodi Arias

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Book # 5 in our Bestselling series on Jodi Arias COMING SOON!

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IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!...Book 4 in this Bestselling Series...

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AUTHENTICITY IS OUT NOW!!! The first book with exclusive updates to the crazy Jodi Arias Case!

It’s not for nothing that Jane Valez-Mitchell’s book, Shanna Hogan’s book and our books all show two Jodi’s on our covers. Authenticity provides further insights as to WHY...click on the image to find out why now.

It's HERE! The sensational follow-up to the runaway hit AUDACITY, focusing on the Penalty Phase...

After 7 years it came down to 1 juror. Click on the image to find out what happened.

Jodi Arias spent an unprecedented 18 days on the stand. Click on the image to find out why...

Shooter for hire

Nick van der Leek, bestselling author of REEVA IN HER OWN WORDS and co-author (with Lisa Wilson) of AUDACITY, is a prolific and versatile photojournalist. Nick has a client portfolio that includes the Square Kilometre Array (South Africa), John Williams, Mercedes Benz, Harmony Gold, The Free State Provincial Government, The Blue Train and many others. Nick has written for an incredible portfolio of magazines, from sport (Ironman, Bicycling, Cycling Weekly, Tour de France magazine, Fitness for Him) to travel (Country Life, Go!, Getaway, South, Franschhoek Style, Explore) to high brow publications focused on men's issues, IT, and economics (GQ, Men's Health, Financial Mail, Finweek, Brainstorm, ABSA Capital magazine). He has photographed and/or interviewed world champions, experts and celebrities, including Morgan Freeman, Lewis Pugh, Tyler Hamilton, Roland Schoeman,Miss World 2009, Gavin Hood, Chris Froome, Cameron van der Burgh, Professor Tim Noakes, Ronnie Apteker, Derick Joubert and more. Nick is a regular contributor to GQ, Afropolitan, Fitness, Country Life and Travel Ideas. In 2005 Nick completed an Ironman and performed at a provincial level in the following sports: triathlon, biathlon, swimming and football. To book a shoot, or share YOUR story, contact Nick at 072 821 9387 or email nickvanderleek[AT]gmail[DOT]com. You can also find him on Facebook.

Book 1. Reeva in her own Words - click the image to view the eBook

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Book 2 of 5 in the Oscar Trial Series. Click the image to read a review by Jacques Steenkamp.

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Interviews with Oscar's former agent, analysis from SA's top legal minds and unanswered questions. Click on the above image to purchase *Resurrection* now.

Book 4 Revelations

Revelations reveals how the incident on February 14, 2013 could actually have happened. Click the image for more info.

Book 5 RESTITUTIO

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Book 6 Transcendence

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Book 7 #RS

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Book 8 RESTORATION

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It's here: THE WORLD'S MOST ADVANCED EVERYTHING!

A tour de force of science and the world's latest and best technology.

More about me and what I do: Nick van der Leek’s top 10 tips for SA freelance journalists

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Visual Collage of my Photojournalism

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Christopher Ulysses, in a bid to escape a dying, freezing Europe, embarks on an epic journey South.

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Confessions of a Failed Writer

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Hard-hitting, grueling, controversial. AMERICAN TRAITOR interrogates the American Sniper murderer

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Nick van der Leek's PORTFOLIO

people places perspectives

Pierneef Country - latest photojournalism in February 2012 Country Life

Tinus de Jongh's contribution to South African art

I believe the fount of my creativity comes from the de Jongh side of my family. Tinus is my great grandfather. Read more about him here, http://www.tinusdejongh.co.za/ or click the image above to view his art.

Family Ties - JOAN SCHRAUWEN

Joan Schrauwen is a water colorist, sculptor and author based in Veldrif, on the West Coast. From her home on the banks of the Berg River, she draws inspiration for her fine art and writing. Joan is my aunt, and the granddaughter of Tinus de Jongh.

Family Ties

Despite having two engineering degrees - civil and electro-mechanical - my brother elected to follow his passion - painting - full time. Being the great grandson of Tinus de Jongh, it was only natural that his artistic evolution would develop along similar lines. Casey's courage and consistency also played a huge role in inspiring me to follow my passion - into writing, photography and generally expressing myself artistically. Click on the image above to link to my brother's webpage.

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James Kunstler discusses New Urbanism in South Africa

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The barefoot revolution

The hunt to reverse-engineer the world’s most advanced running shoe. - click on the image to read the article

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My brother and I go in search of Tinus de Jongh

Contributor to Lonely Planet's SEOUL guide

I lived in Seoul for 4 years; where I rediscovered my love for travel, for writing and so travel writing was a natural permutation.