“I’ve read too many articles about how women don’t get paid equal to men even though they do a better job, and a lot is based on the fact that we agree too easily,” wrote Lauren Godoy, a proposal manager in the employee recognition unit of jeweler Michael C. Fina. Don’t settle, she advised a young woman in another discussion thread about negotiations.

“First of all, go into it with a mindset that you will negotiate,” said Carole Haper, a career management consultant I interviewed. Women can be good at negotiating, but they need to give themselves permission first, she said.

“I’ve been surprised to find that people value you at the value you give yourself,” wrote Susannah Wright, an assistant VP at a national bank who commented on LinkedIn. “Sometimes the ‘other side’ will say OK to the higher price without much or any fuss.”

Comments on LinkedIn advised checking sites such as salary.com and glassdoor.com. Find the fair-market value of the job in your area, wrote Jessica Renard, a career coach. In an interview, Haper also suggested salaryexpert.com, payscale.com, and the Department of Labor’s website.

Remember that perks such as relocation and health care coverage from first day can add thousands of dollars.

Don’t tip your hand.

Often, employers will ask about your salary history at the job interview. Don’t answer directly, warned Haper: “The first one to mention a number is the weaker one.”

Try answering with a gentle reminder that your current salary is your employer’s private information, and perhaps mention that it’s competitive for your field. Or try giving a range, if you can’t avoid the question. Wright suggested asking for more than you want, and see if the boss will meet you in the middle.

Don’t grab and go.

Ask for an offer in writing and take time to think before you say yes. Even if the number is firm, you could pick up some valuable add-ons. In a smaller company, for example, you may be able to negotiate for extra benefits: “Add value in the interview!” Renard added to the LinkedIn discussion. Remember that perks such as relocation and health care coverage from first day (instead of 30 to 90 days after hire) can add thousands of dollars to your compensation package, Haper added.

Do stay cool.

“Above all, overcome all neediness, the number-one deal-killer,” said Camp. If you start to get emotional during the meeting, he said to me in an email, drop a pen or take a drink of water to force a break. You want the discussion to be friendly and comfortable for both of you, so avoid acting adversarial. But remember: You’re there to get the best deal possible.

“Your employer does not have to be your friend,” said Camp. “What you want is respect and a fair agreement.”