I Failed You, Robin Williams!

Words and ideas can change the world! Yes,you gave us this hope. You gave voice to many of the dilemmas that churned in my mind. Day after day, night after night. But, one August morning, Not so august, though; Came ripping a bevy of deafening cries of bugles! All announcing together, how, in a clandestine way, I had lost my words,and how cruelly had my faith been dismantled! No words seemed enough. Nothing mightier than the ghost lurking slyly in the dingiest corner Of your mind. Words had failed to change anything. Words,……… lost in the abyss of your own, self-fed demons They could, but they didn’t, for you. The sombre gray cloud of grief is still all pervasive. Your demons found a new abode, and now, they rob him of his riches, the one who believed your words- Carpe Diem! Seize the day, my friend! Why couldn’t you seize the day, my friend! Was it really impossible to carry on? Loneliness, sadness, lack of audience, or was it the absence of faith to express Ruthless killers, all of us! Clapped and revelled in your adorable, funny antics. We shared with each other, what you gave us- laughter, joy, cheer! But, we failed you, dear Robin. Like a shadow on a dark night, We vanished when you needed us the most! Wasn’t there anyone or anything that could give you hope? The invisible demon chambers upon me, every now and then. And nudges me, mocks me, throws me in the dungeon of guilt to rot forever. Sorry, we were too engrossed in making a life, thinking, everybody must learn their own lessons, travel their own journey. And you? Who thought you needed help! We only saw the funny guy, the motivator, the one who uplifted, the redeemer, the one with the ever-encouraging smile and words of hope, …………and the one who wore the mask so well that it became his face! Sorry, we forgot that those were scripted sermons, meticulously written speeches, well rehearsed laughter, antics. And sorry, we overlooked the fact that whatever the onstage performance, backstage, you were just like some of us- vulnerable, suffering, too reticent to admit, too concerned to see the world of hope that we associated with you, crumble like a deck of cards. You didn’t fail us, we failed you Robin. We failed you, and I’m sorry. And see the irony? The same cheaters are once again, my line of communication with you. But, I’m sorry; I really am, and I shall always be.

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