"Nothing. I felt nothing," Howard recalled in a July 2010 essay for Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP blog about the moment after she delivered her son.

"I felt I was failing at breast-feeding. My house was a mess. I believed I was a terrible dog owner," she wrote. "And worst of all, I definitely felt I was a rotten mother -- not a bad one, a rotten one. Because the truth was, every time I looked at my son, I wanted to disappear."

Along with seeking professional help and "a homeopathic treatment plan," Howard said it was her desire to get back to work that eventually helped her heal.

"Do I wish I had never endured postpartum depression? Absolutely. But to deny the experience is to deny who I am," she wrote. "I still mourn the loss of what could have been, but I also feel deep gratitude for those who stood by me."