Tours de Farce: Point And Click

Easy, isn't it? Pick out your favorite artist or band, such as Jethro Tull or Rob Thomas, point, click, and up come the dates. Nothing could be simpler.

But what about those who lack Internet access? What about those people deprived of dial-ups, broadband and wireless? Need they suffer endlessly because they have no way of knowing that Gwen Stefani is playing Oakland on December 1?

We tend to think that tour schedules are a worldwide phenomena, and that anyone, anywhere, can fire up a computer and look up the schedule for the Doves or The Beach Boys. But millions of potential concert fans do not have an Internet connection. Plus, even those that do, often lack a computer. Clearly something must be done.

That's why there's Pollstar.com Relief, the world-wide tour date distribution program whose goal is to supply desolate regions, third world countries, and parts of Bakersfield, California, with all the tour itineraries needed for music fans to lead productive, modern lives. Whether it's airlifting copies of the Umphrey's McGee routing to nomads wandering the Gobi Desert, or dispatching additional dates for Collin Raye and Sugarland to Native Antarcticans via carrier penguin, Pollstar.com Relief goes where the Internet fears to tread. We seek out those regions of the world that have yet to hear of Ticketmaster. We search far and wide for those who are clueless about Clear Channel. And when we find them, we change their lives. Sometimes, even for the better.

But we can't do it without your help. That's why we're asking you to give generously the next time a Pollstar.com Relief representative knocks on your door. Invite him or her in for a drink, perhaps a snack, or maybe even dinner. And sometime afterwards, perhaps while waiting for dessert, you and that representative can discuss how much better this world could be if the less fortunate had the same tour date access you and yours often take for granted.

We can't feed the world. We can't provide medical care for Amazonian tribes nor can we deliver clothing to primitive cultures scattered throughout the remote corners of the world. But we can bring tour dates, like the schedules for Meshuggah, Helloween and Dream Theater, to the starving, the sick, and the homeless of our great planet. Won't you help?