MSM: “And On the 3rd Day, Hillary Rose From the Nearly Dead”

WHITE PLAINS, NY – Hillary Clinton has pretty much nothing in common with Jesus Christ, but that hasn’t stopped her cheerleaders in the mainstream media (MSM) from describing her that way. They’re overlooking the fact that mild pneumonia is a whole lot easier to get over when you never had it in the first place.

Miraculously, when reporters rolled the stone away from the front door of her Chappaqua home, Hillary was already on her campaign airplane, eager to take off. All that remained at her house were the wrinkled sheets on her bed, now known as the Shroud of Clinton.

How do I do it?!

The mighty Hillary “powers through” any obstacle. She only needed a couple of days rest to recover from what would take mortals 7-10 days to feel human again. She laughs in the face of Parkinson’s and other neurological disorders, and no blood clot is a match for her – her mysterious doctor says so. The MSM even treated seeing her back on the plane as if it were her Second Coming.

Don’t forget Bill Clinton either. He’s likely up for the Husband of the Year award, after sacrificing his personal time and traveling to California just to collect millions of dollars for his wife’s campaign, on her behalf. How many husband’s would do that?