Subway, Guns n' Roses, football, Tony Mack and more

And now, things I think about when I think about things to think about when I think about thinking about things …

1) “Paradise City” by Guns n’ Roses — written in 1986, during the height of America’s heydey — is turning out to be quite a prophetic anthem for our times. Sample lyrics: “Ya gotta keep pushin’ for the fortune and fame …” “Captain America’s been torn apart …” “I’m your charity case so buy me something to eat …”

I’m telling you: There’s something here. I wish I had a Ph.D thesis to write.

2) A couple of New Jersey guys sued Subway last week, claiming the “foot long” sandwiches only measure in at 11 inches. False advertising, you know?

Meanwhile, wives and girlfriends the world over are getting ready to file a class action suit of their own.

3) According to the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, there are 10 members of Congress on record as saying they don’t belong to a particular religion. This number is up from zero in the early 1980s. You ask me, this is progress, as some 20 percent of Americans fall into the “not religious” category of agnostic, atheist, or nothing at all.

I don’t want to get into a whole religious discussion now — or ever — but I like the idea of non-religious people making decisions for our country. In short, I don’t ever want something like George W. Bush happening again, where he said things (according to the BBC) like “I’m driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, ‘George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan.’” You ask me, stuff like that sounds … dangerous.

4) Now that I’ve gone and talked about religion, let’s take it down about a billion notches with this: Nothing makes me more aggravated than when my wife tells me to fish something out of her purse. I hate sticking my hand in there, as I never know what I’m going to end up touching. Old lollipops usually. But besides that, I can never find what it is she’s asking me to find, and I end up just tossing her purse at her, and that’s all about that.

5) Crazy article in the latest issue of Rolling Stone about injuries and high school football. Scary, scary stuff. I was already planning on not letting my son play football, but this just cements it. And not for nothing, but it wouldn’t surprise me if by the time he’s high school age, they’re not even playing football anymore. The statistics are staggering, the horror stories too real. Check it out. (It’s not online, hard copy only.)

6) According to a recent study, people who make good romantic partners also make good parents. “If you can do responsive care-giving, it seems that you can do it across different relationships,” study researcher Abigail Millings of the University of Bristol said in a statement.

And what is “responsive care-giving?” Being cooperative, putting the needs of others before your own … uh-oh. I’m in big, big trouble.

7) Former Hamilton Mayor John Bencivengo’s sentencing moved back until March, and Trenton Mayor Tony Mack’s trial pushed to at least June 17. Ah. Nothing like the dark clouds of doom hanging over our collective heads for a few more months, eh? One way or another, this area cannot move forward until these two cases are done and over, no matter the outcomes.

8) You know what? I kind of want a snowstorm. Just one. A foot of snow, on a Friday night, with temperatures hitting 60 degrees by Sunday. Is this too much to ask?

10) Lastly, Valentine’s Day is creeping up on us. I say we all band together and boycott this miserable excuse for a “holiday.” More on this next week. But if you really, really, really love Valentine’s Day, I want to hear from you. I want to know why you think we shouldn’t boycott it. Hit me up below. Tagline in 3 … 2 … 1 ...