Monday, February 22, 2010

Telling me that you were in ER with a bloody nose last night is good enough for me. I trust you.

I SWEAR that it is NOT necessary for you to whip out your iPhone and show me pictures of blood and mucus streaming down your face. Or to show me the tail of the gauze sponge that is still lodged up there.

A patient one day came in with a large shopping bag. "I have something I want the doctor and you to look at " she said. I shuddered as I sat her down and took her vitals.She pulls out her bottom bed sheet and points to a variety of splotches on it "This is what my vaginal discharge looks like" she said next. I said,"Well, a good thing you brought your VAGINA with you today, because that's what we really need to check out. hee hee"She looked at me blankly...or should I say, blankety. heh.Oh well, that was still nothing compared to what people showed up with in JARS. Or, at least before iPhones and the like were invented.

Even us non medical folks hear or see these gross stuff. For some strange reason that I cannot figure out, people will show or tell their friends or acquaintances about the most disgusting stuff that happens to their bodies. At least I can tell people to stop it because I'm grossed out -- and I do. It's almost like some kind of badge of honor.

I guess those in the medical field have to put up with it even if it's not necessary to the reason for their visit.

When you're fainting there's not much difference between a bloody nose or poop.

As a pharmacist, I had plenty of nurse aid background to provide a cushion against the show and tell, but still often felt hot, woozy, and diaphoretic when people want me to look at their stuff.

I tell them to clean it up and soak it in brine before bringing it to me or I WILL pass out.

I can usually get through CODE BLUE just fine doing what I do with whipping up the phenylephrine drip, etc., and attended several autopsies during residency, (but, pulling fluid off a tapped peritoneal drain was pretty bad, and bone marrow procedure with iliac crest penetration just about did me in).

Could never stand dealing with aberrational discharges of live people (or animals).

That's why Skool Nerse and Dr. G. do what they do, and I do what I can.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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