Denny Hastert is implicated in the Ohio Coingate scandal that is going to take down Noe and, possibly, Treasury Secretary John Snow. According to the Toledo Blade:

Officially, House Speaker Hastert, an Illinois Republican, recommended Mr. Noe to Treasury Secretary Snow, but an e-mail from Ms. Marchessault to Kim Nickles, a treasury liaison to the White House, revealed that Mr. Noe was an “original White House recommendation,” whom she was “finally able to get on the committee through the congressional recommendations.”

This administration has, bar none, the worst goddamned record of cronyism,incompetence, and plain old bumbling. I mean - I kid you not. These are some of the stellar employees of the DHS and the DOD. So the White House makes Maureen Dowd wait for months for a press pass while they check her background, but Jeff Gannon, aka James Guckert, and these child-predators-in-training were free - no, were PAID, LICENSED, and PERMITTED to roam the halls of power at will.

And the Bushits are planning a war on Iran. No kidding. They're planning to bomb - with nuclear bunker busters. Seymour Hersh has the story in the weekend New Yorker. A clip of the video of Hersh being interviewed. You gotta listen.

Well, a Canadian neigbour thinks this is simply the looniest thing he's ever heard. I'm so liking Canada right now. This is pretty funny, too.

Outsourcing the Presidency to India

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of May 31, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the office of President as of March 22, 2006.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the out-placement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking hands and phony smile.

Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

R-E-L-I-E-F

Alternative title: This week in schadenfreude

AKA, The Fall of the House of Bugchaser as DeLay is affectionately (NOT) referred to in the blogosphere. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person, I tellya.

The GOP power machine of Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff built the K Street Project, destroying anyone who stood in their way, including all those poor young Chinese women who were forced to have abortions in the Marianas just so idiots like us could buy Tommy Hilfiger clothes. Well, this week Conrad Burns if feeling the heat, so to speak. It looks as if Abramoff will take a lot of people down with him.

This is good. Pat Robertson is a loon, and he and his organization need to disappear into the political junkyard.

Today the Liar 'n Thief is also revealed to be the Leaker-in-Chief. Can you feel the love? Yup, the crooks and liars are about to get a cosmic Swirlie. Down, down, down, your karma be callin you on the telephone, boys.

Monday, April 03, 2006

This Week With BushCo

See, in BushCo Reality World, you can only have that freespeech thingy if you're, uh, important. Like him.

Remember when I said, a few months ago, that that roaring sound in our ears was the swirly swirly of toilet flush as BushCo slowly went down, down, down? Here's Brave Karl responding to the prosecutor by singing like a canary, fingering his old pal Scooter and Scooter's boss.

For extensive coverage of the Plame case, be sure to visit Firedoglake.The two most revolting men on the planet.

The first, of course, has come to be synonymous with a mix of fecal matter and fluid, while the second is pure fecal matter.

Mitt wants to get his mitts on John The Chameleon. Go to it, guys. It couldn't happen to more deserving people.

Shakespeare's Sister sure has a way with pix and captions. And Rep Maggot spews forth her... hmm ... insight, that's the ticket ... on gay families and adoption.

Next up: some warblogging. What's going on in Iraq is unconscionable. Both the way the troops are being treated, with contaminated water, inadequate body armor, being cheated out of their sign-on bonuses, forced to refund monies if discharged due to disabling injuries or stress, discouraged from seeking treatment, denied benefits, charged for access to communications with their families -- and the way the Iraqis are being slaughtered. Today, NPR informs us that approximately 1,000 Iraqis died over the past month, and during the first three days of April, more American troops died than in the previous month. Meanwhile, the U.S. Army has decided that troops are not permitted to buy their own body armor. Argh.