Last week, like a pre-Glasnost Muscovite hearing rumours of fresh bread I stood outside a record shop in the cold at 8.55am twitching with excitement over the release of his new album, Rebel Soul. With my CD prey finally in my hands I headed back to my car and belted along the road with the volume turned up to eleven and my head full of my new life with my bad boy rocker.

It looks a lot like this.(Let's just gloss over the fact that he lives in a Malibu beach house with a kitchen that would be the envy of Fanny Craddock.)

Pinterest.

Adironadacks, Airstreams and palm trees - these are a few of my favourite things.

This post is cracking me up! I was born and raised in West Virginia and, as Sheree said above, you'll have to sub-in a double-wide and some cans of Miller Lite for true backwoods accuracy. I've known way too many guys who look and act like Kid Rock to be the least bit attracted to him, but to each her own ;)

Just google "Three Wolf Moon Sweatshirt" and you're halfway there. Or mosey on down to your local Walmart and pick up the college football tee shirt of your choice. Add jeans and a giant pair of dirty white Nikes and you're GOLDEN.

LOL! Double-wide trailers are perfectly nice if you keep them tidy, which most rednecks do not, hence their bad reputation. I do like beer, but I think that Budweiser, Coors, and Miller beers are weak and tasteless and they look like owl piss, so I refuse to drink them. All of the rednecks I've ever known have had a deep and abiding love for corn chips, Mountain Dew, Velveeta, and processed meats, so you should probably find some recipes for Frito Casserole if you want to properly fantasize about your sweet love nest with Kid Rock ;) I've been all over the US and found rednecks living everywhere...it's definitely more about state of mind than geographical location.

I have heard of Kid Rock, but never listened to his music. I pulled up the YouTube video of Let's Ride off Rebel Soul and was taken back to my youth. I loved Steppenwolf, the Stones, Black Oak Arkansas, Def Leppard, BonJovi, and more recently, Nickelback). I really liked the song, but it's not the same at 56 as it was 40 or even 20 years ago. It's also not the same without a car to listen to it in (watch your speed limit!) But thanks for the memories. Like someone mentioned before, I've known way too many guys who looked like Bob Ritchie and acted like they were God's gift to find him at all attractive. By the way, exchange the whole hog for ribs and I think you would be allowed Boone's Farm Wine by Gallo. It was popular way back when because it was v. inexpensive (and was probably mostly formaldehyde). Southern Comfort would be another option.

Didn't know they had one - it is classic Stones isn't it? Thanks for telling me about it. I've been thinking about joining a gym lately and all this is good workout music! I may actually start buying music again...

This is hilarious! I live a state that still has KKK members and has a NASCAR track, so I am quite familiar with the redneck genre. Most rednecks are seriously the sweetest people you will ever meet. Hands down. They will be fine if you do not drink beer, but must love a good wine cooler or the hard stuff. I can also see you with Kid Rock. I also would hate to see your mother's reaction to you holding his hand!

It is my ambition upon achieving my 85th birthday (many years away happily) to resume cigarette smoking, Camels, and the drinking of cheap gin. I intend to live at the end of a sand road a few miles from a Redneck Riveria beach in a trailer of the very make that you picture. I plan on visiting the beach daily and baking sans sunscreen. I will adopt the habit of rednecks everywhere and play my music on a boom box knowing that everyone within earshot shares my tastes. To add spice it might be Wagner which is as offensive to the redneck ear as an Acme Thunderer whistle. Let's Ride, indeed. I am as a magnet to rednecks. You know, of course, that every last one of them can trace their ancestors by squiggly lines to Perthshire and the west of Ireland. Excellent post. Encouraging.

YKYARW The welcome basket with beans, cornbread, pork rinds, corn nuts. microwaveable sausage & biscuits and squeeze Velveeta sauce is en route to your SoCal Silver Palace, along with an extra large helping of that Kid Rock fave mac & cheese. (I actually think you wouldn't mind KR's true home turf, Clarkson, MI.) Have fun with the boytoy, curtainclimbers, porchmonkeys and any stray rugrats. We'll keep this on the QT to lovely mum and preacher husband. If you decide you need stern Scots again, be warned the required tanning bed bronze will take some time to fade - set aside an extra week.

Tabs, Ricky and Julian are only one province over from me and near where GetFresh is from! I'll be your bubbles!

Kid Rock brings out your inner Pamela ANderson? Good on you! I have a thing for Chad Kroeger from Nickleback that grosses my husband out! I think your trailer is too fancy! Around here it would be rusted out and 6 old cars in the dooryard!

OMG, WMM I also like Chad Kroeger which seriously makes me question my own taste. I don't know what it is, but I agree with Barry it's revolting!Kid Rock grew up not too far from me, I was on the other side of the border but most of my family has those Michigan roots.Tabs you've got us revealing our inner rednecks!

I saw Kid Rock perform last week. His southern rebel image is kind of funny b/c he is from & lives about as far north as you can get in this awesome country. He's had a busy year shilling for Mittens, thankfully he's much better at music.

OK, we've finally found something where we part ways. I listen to Leonard Cohen on an up day. Listened to the soundtrack from Les Miserables while painting today. I like really depressing music I guess. Landslide is one of my favorite songs. We did used to live on the beach in Malibu though....

Unless you've got a brown plaid Herculon sofa on the front porch - one leg propped up by a broken cinderblock - and an old ammo box from 'Nam as your cooler sitting next to it, full of Pabst. . .you kaan't call yooself no Redneck. And if you're going to commit to Daisy Dukes, you have to be able to drive a manual shift muscle car barefoot AND do a hand-brake turn like Batman, too. Then crack your gum, wink and floor it outta there. It's not easy being Trailer Trash. Queen of the Clean Up Parade

Hahahahah....I love it!! He's from the same place as me, hahahahahah! Hilarious! Hog heaven, just means bliss, happiness...like a pig in mug, haha!! Us country folk say some crazy things ;) Some call their bikes hogs as well, not sure where that came from!! Love that you were there to get the cd, bless you :) xx

Tabitha, in an effort to truly prepare yourself for this love match, you need to go check this out. (Great Mobile Homes of Mississippi). Now, Dr. Bukk claims that Mississippi is the trailer trash capital of the US, but I don't agree. There are plenty of other states that can give them a run for their money, North and South, but you can't marry a redneck until you Google your way on over and check this out. Be forewarned, you don't want any coffee (or bourbon) in your mouth as it might end up on your computer screen. Oh, and rednecks like a good 'chaw'. That's redneckese for chewing tobacco, and they spit it where and when they please. That includes out the windows of their trucks and on the curb at the shopping center before they go get their month's supply of vienna sausage from the Winn Dixie. Pigs in the Blanket = Redneck Nirvana.

If you do decide to do further research, be sure to click on the second category called 'other' as it has some of the more creative trailers from around the country. It's amazing how far the human imagination can stretch.

Next time I go back to Texas, you need to come with me. I'll bring you to the Silver Fox, the greatest bar of all time. And we'll hang out at the Farm, go swimming in the creek, and go off roading in a golf cart (the best way to go off roading).

Some other great red neck music, well a parody of red neck music, is the Doyle and Debbie show. I saw them perform here in Nashville, and they're hysterical! Their music is now on iTunes. You just can't beat Fat Women in Trailers or Stock Car Love. Oh yeah, and When You're Screwing Other Women (Think of Me).

Haha. You are so not going to even see this comment (since it has been a few days since you published this post), but this is the life that many of my relations lead here in the good ole EWWW ESSS of AAAAAY!

It has me laughing because it would be a la me writing that I am enamored with the life of Vicky (http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/7/74/Little_britain_vicky_450x350.jpg).