Saturday, December 06, 2008

Very absent voters

The last-minute rush to vote had one man confused in a Richmond barber shop on Saturday afternoon. As the barber clipped away, the voter suddenly announced that he needed to get to a polling booth to avoid a fine. Asked where he was enrolled, he said: "The City of Melbourne, but that's easy - I'll just walk up the hill to the polling booth here and vote absentee." Told that it was too late because the City of Melbourne's postal voting had closed the night before, the man said: "No, I've voted absentee before, and I'll do it again today."...The Melbourne Times

Well, I have to say, it's about time someone came up with the concept of time-absent voting. How many times have voters been unable to attend historically important elections for reasons ranging from a minor case of the cold, to a slight case of non-existence? Too many, that's what! For far too long, elections have been far too long ago for us to participate in!

My patriotic fellow citizens, of whatever nation you happen to be patriotical citizens of, have you ever said to yourself 'I CAN'T let my vote go to waste. The 6th century BC election for the leadership of Athens is far too important for me NOT to vote in, and damn the slight historical, continental, political, and legislative barriers. Where can I sign up?' I know I have. And, after all, the 2133 AD election of the Armenian Presidency is a VERY important election, and we simply have to vote in it. It is urgent that we make our choice now about whatever urgent choice people will have to make then! It is absolutely vital: the future of something depends on it!

NOW is the time to cast an absentee vote for whatever time that vote should have been cast! Fellow Absent-minded voters, sign up to the Will Type For Food Very-Absentee-Vote Scheme now, and cast your ballot in as many elections as you want to!

Become a time-absent voter. Join yesterday! That's what democracy is all about!