Tag: finding the funny

Ha! You know those Charlie Brown voices that the adults make? For some very random reason I suddenly just thought of that. Pardon me , while my brain has some sort of extreme rollercoaster moment apparently. Heh. I do that. And I normally just spit out what I’m thinking too. Which is sometimes funny, and occasionally horrifying, depending on where and when you are. Say if you’re in your neurologist’s office, you can cause people to move several seats down from you. Bwahaha. Oh STAHHHP. I ‘m not in the neuro’s NOW!! I’m at home. I’ve had a really kind of weird week . Well, I don’t know if it’s actually all that out of the norm for me, or if I’ve just noticed it more that the children are gone for camp. I got out of the house ( that sounded like someone holds me prisoner…….help!) 🙂 meaning, I had enough oomph to take some small walks up the lane by the house for exercise , which felt fantastic! Early enough in the morning where the heat didn’t drop me dead. Which was also great. Boys weren’t home so no loads of dirty dishes or clothes . Also big wins in the plus columns! Didn’t have to cook so hubs took me out . Even went to a new restaurant at the lake with an awesome view where we’d never been! So of course, me feeling cheeky , what did I do, I overdid. I did, I went and overdid, and for my efforts ended up with a fantastically lovely aural migraine last night. Oh yeah. The flashing lights, the nausea, blind in one eye, near seizure level. But do you want to know what I meant when I said I had kind of weird week? I could feel it working up to it. That’s the bizarre part. You know the poem I wrote for my blog yesterday? Anytime I am about to have a seizure, or any type of big neurological event, I can write poetry, I can write on my blog, I can paint, I can draw, be creative for a certain period of time. And then afterwards I’ll be exhausted. You can feel it coming, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it, and of course it’s worse since the stroke so I’m taking all the meds the doctors say to take. I suppose there’s nothing left to do for it. Anywho. Feeling very tired today after all that . Slept for about four hours total yesterday. Completely wiped now. Just wanted to check in with all my peeps. This was really too long to write on my lupus page so wanted to post it here for everyone. Oh, and if no one has said it today, I LOVE YOU!! with all my ❤ and 🙂 and as always ((HUGS)) ~ RUBY J.

I would like to start this post by saying, that ANYONE who knows me, knows I don’t get offended easily. Pretty much anything , anybody says, just rolls right off my back.

However, I just recently read an article , with MEMES to go along with it, that just totally rubbed my fur the wrong way.

And once you read it, I am fairly sure you will feel the same way.

To start this off, I always thought the idea behind childbirth was to have a HAPPY, HEALTHY child. One for the parents to love, and one to love the parents.

WELL, this fella ‘ here has just set childbirth, and childrearin’ back 100 years and caused a great deal of unhappiness between women. When you read it , you will understand, and be just as outraged as I was. Seriously, this man is half a bubble off of plumb, a donut short of a full box, and as my Daddy would say, “His bread’s in the oven , but the gas ain’t on. ” The word chauvinist doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it.

Because apparently , those of us who had C sections are INFERIOR.

Because , apparently, we didn’t REALLY LOVE our babies, we are just selfish for making different choice.

Because apparently , we’re just drug-addled women , who are lazy and chemically dependent.

So we have no business having doctors interfere in the “natural” process of birth, even though our children came early and would have died without medical intervention. We’re just lazy like that. Needless to say, I refuse to feel sorry for my childbirth experience , as my sons are 16 and 14 and are completely healthy , despite the fact that (SHOCK AND HORROR!!!!) they were both born by Ceasarian section.

YEP. That’s what I said. I have AMAZONIC GORGONIA PURPLEITIS. It’s this horrible disease. Bizarre condition , really. Your own body does horrid things to itself. Like snacks on it’s own heart, or even your brain. You can lose your faculties. First mine decided to make my heart the main course , so I have 30% function of that. Then it decided my ENTIRE nervous system looked like a great after dinner snack. So it went amok through there. So my heart rate my go 155 with me lying completely still. Or it might tell my brain to just shut off while I’m standing up. “So you’ve been to the AMAZON ya say?” No actually it’s this buggery disease called Systemic Lupus Erethemetous , and hundreds of thousands of people suffer from it all over the world and there is NO CURE. But it seemed like everytime I told some one I had lupus there brain immediately went either somewhere else, their eyes glazed over, or they looked at me and went , “WHAHHHHAAT??” So I just decided for once I was going to call it something SUPER WEIRD and see what kind of reaction I got. Or if I started off with the symptoms instead of the name and said it in a super horrifying tone, would people be more interested, “AS in did you know LUPUS is actually the ZOMBIE of the disease world??” THAT might get their attention , as in we are literally the WALKING DEAD of the famous telly show? What we have affects more people in the world than you could ever imagine and practically NO ONE has heard of it. So I don’t know if we need to change our name, our image or what, but for today, I shall have AMAZONIC GORGONIA PURPLEITIS ……for the thrills, after all life is so short ,I take my fun where I find it 🙂

Why is it that parents don’t EVER REALLY tell you the “FUN” stuff that happens after you become a parent? They mention it in vague terms , such as “Just you wait.” or, if you happen to live in the South, “You are surely going to pay for your raisin’.” But never do they mention the specifics. Never do they mention that you shall be up for 20 hours nursing sick children while you yourself are so ill that your eyesight becomes so blurred there are two of everything,expecting lollypop toting munchkins to come singing from under the sink at any moment. Covered in several unmentionable substances, your hair in a scrunchy long lost it’s SCRUNCH. This was never mentioned anywhere in Dr.Spock or Dr. Sears, trust me, I’ve read them all. No where does it say anything about you wanting to sleep in the bathtub because it looks comfortable at 2 a.m. while one child is barfing into the sink, and the other is barfing into the toilet. ANNNNND, just when you think you’ve caught a break your husband comes home quivering like lime jello , (same consistency and color) , running a temp of 101.4 , saying a volcano is exploding out of my head, and oh by the way if I don’t make the bathroom now, there’ll be more of me on the floor for you to clean? NO ONE tells you these things at the altar, when you stand there all star spangled , breezing past the “in sickness and in health” line lah-de-dah …..My body now oozes down into the cracks of the sofa under the comforter waiting for the next wave of whatever the crap this is to hit , and as I pull the covers up over my head, I recite this mantra to myself , clicking my furry slippers together three times , “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…………….

It’s such a beautiful day here today! I love the spring and summer. I can’t really go out in it. Even before I found out I had lupus, I could not be a sun worshiper, as I broiled like the proverbial lobster. But I love it. I’ve always had a really pale complexion. I have black hair and very white skin. My sister is very pale also, but has gorgeous red hair. When we were growing up, we had an elderly neighbor who thought we were beautiful. She didn’t really understand that not being able to get a tan was not really the “in” thing , you know? In her day , we were what was considered the “cream” of the crop, no pun intended. She just thought we ought to be driving all the boys wild with our alabaster complexions. Needless to say, most people just thought we looked ill, I think. But we promised our Daddy we would not go and lay in the “cancer bed”, his term for the tanning bed. I can’t say I’m upset about it, if you’ve seen anyone who’s spent extended time in those I think he did us a favor extracting that promise. When I met the man who is now my husband he let me know that he was of the same mind. He is a fan of the “old-fashioned” look and doesn’t mind that I don’t tan. Actually , with my lupus, the sun is really not my friend. I jokingly tell people that I’m a vampire, and only go out after dark. ( You know, “The hideous light of the Daystar!! Hiss!!AARRGggh!!” Cue capes , and drama!) Jokes aside, being in the sun makes me physically ill. I get heart palpitations, my skin blisters and breaks out in terrible blister-type sores, I ‘ll get a rash, and if I’m in it long enough it will actually cause my lupus to flare internally with organ involvement such as bloodwork being elevated or kidney trouble, meaning no fun in the sun for me. So, I’m not Edward Cullen’s non-vegetarian cousin or anything. It’s just lupus, but if people don’t understand that about the disease , I can kind of make them worry about sleeping over at my house …….heh, heh…….. (I’ve come to suck your blood, bwhahahahaha!)

Am I the only person who doesn’t “get” the Angry Birds game? Can someone please explain to me why the game is supposedly so “addictive” and “fun” ? I got the app for my tablet, and my boys think it’s the best thing since sliced bananas. They also got Angry Birds Space, and the Seasons version. They were unable to explain WHY they liked it so much, other than it’s fun. I was totally bored with it in about ten seconds. What really drove me crazy was waiting for the little blocks to fall, or the pigs or whatever to finish falling off the buildings . It really made me think of PONG. Remember waiting for your “ball” to get to the other player? BLOOOOOOOP. blooooooop. BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP. Like molasses in January. Maybe I am too ADD to play video games, and that is why they don’t appeal to me. I don’t know. Or maybe I’m just weird. 🙂 Thoughts? No, no. Maybe I really don’t want to know!

Like this:

Our neighborhood is planning on having a garage sale on August the 4th. I’ve been trying to get my items gathered up, in preparation. Man. I knew I had a lot of stuff, but when you start to go through it , it dawns on you , just how much extraneous junk we gather into our homes and lives! Knick-knacks, clothing, toys, and of course in my case……books! Tons and tons of books. And magazines, and leaflets and all type of reading paraphernalia. Journals, and notebooks. And the craft material! Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Where did I get all this stuff?!? Some of it I honestly don’t know WHERE it came from. And the more I dig, the more I find. It’s like it bred in there and became……the CREATURE from the craftroom……. Whew. If it doesn’t sell, I may put a big “FREE” sign on it. I need to minimize and organize. It may very well take until the 4th of August just to gather up everything. So, I guess I know what I’ll be doing these last few days of summer! Wish me luck!