Revenge Stinks

Brazil is a 52 year old inmate who’s been in and out of prison for the last 25 years due to addiction and dealing drugs.

Mark is a 47 year old Mormon who’s in for several counts of child molesting. He said God told him to do it.

Brazil and Mark are cellies. They hate each other. Every day they yell, argue, and fight with each other. Non-violent fights…all verbal…and chemical.

Marks favorite thing to do is to rip stinky farts in the cell. He deliberately eats gassy foods, such as eggs, milk, and beans. He will leave the dayroom just so he can go in his cell to fart…knowing Brazil is in there watching TV.

Every now and then Brazil will muster up a retaliatory fart of his own. But he is no match for Marks thunderous butt cheeks.

Brazil has a plan. He brings back a milk from the chow hall and pours it into an empty coffee jar. He lets it sit at room temperature for 10 days!

Then he wipes the rotten milk all over the walls and bed frame, right in the area where Mark lays his head. The foul substance blends in to the wall perfectly and is invisible to the naked eye.

Within seconds the entire, poorly ventilated cell, smells like a rotted dead animal.

Brazil thought he could lay on his lower bunk and not smell it if he burns a little vanilla prayer oil. Prayer oil is burned by dipping a cotton swab into the oil, and then applying it to a 25 watt light bulb inside a clip on reading lamp.

Brazil soon found out that cheap prayer oil is no match for the powerful stench. All it did was make the cell smell like vanilla scented rotted corps.

Mark comes home from work and walks in the cell. Brazil is laying down watching TV with a towel wrapped around his face.

Mark says, “Oh my god….what the f*ck is that smell?”

Brazil gets mad and barks back, “It’s your sheets you stinky bastard. I tell you every day you stink. Now you see!”

Mark says, “That ain’t me! It smells like a dead rat or something.”

Brazil frowns his face and says in a angry tone, “You stupid mother-f*cker! There ain’t no dead rat in here. It’s your bed! It’s your clothes. IT’S YOU!!! I tell you every day you stink. Now you see what I mean.”

Mark yells back, “It ain’t me!!! I just walked in. IT’S YOU!!!”

Brazil yells back, “I tell you every day you stink. Today is no different. You stink all the time. Everyday!!! You know it is you!”

Mark is tired from a long day’s work and its nap time. He climbs up on his bunk and lays his head down in a halo of rotten milk.

Brazil is trying so hard not to laugh. He’s dying inside with satisfaction as he continues to act pissed off.

Meanwhile, Mark is inhaling strong toxic fumes. He can’t escape them. He thinks that maybe it is HIM. Maybe it IS his sheets. He sniffs his sheets and blankets. But the smell is so strong, he can’t tell where it’s coming from.

Later on that day, Mark strips his bed and gets clean sheets and blankets. Then he heads off to the showers.

Brazil has had enough. The smell has given him headaches all day. So while Mark is in the shower, Brazil cleans up all the rotten milk.

I wish I could say this story has a happy ending. But it doesn’t. Brazil and Mark still hate each other. They still fight and argue every day. And Mark still farts all over Brazil.

However, I highly doubt that Brazil will be painting his walls with rotten milk anytime soon.