A blog by students at the University of Portsmouth

On Being The Only Girl in an All-Male Household

Before the inevitable spill of ‘I just get on with guys better, I’m just one of the guys’, I don’t and I’m not. It just appears to have worked out like this.
Throughout my secondary school years I was in a mixed friendship group, pretty much an equal split of girls and boys. Come my sixth form years, this changed. I became part of a tight knight girl group. As much as I loved this, I knew at university I wanted to have male friends as well. I think it’s nicer to have a balance and I missed my guy friends. Girls are great, really! With girls you can be as emotional as you want, swap clothes, go shopping – all those beautifully cliched truths! But guys you tend to get this no-nonsense attitude. And that’s necessary.
I think at heart I am a girls’ girl. But almost all my friends at uni have ended up being male.
I live in a house with 4 guys. Never would I think I’d end up like Jess from New Girl; the only woman in an all male household.
Interestingly enough last year, in halls, I lived with 4 girls. Across the corridor from us was a flat of 5 men with whom I bonded with almost instantly. One of these men has now ended up being my boyfriend (also see New Girl). Whilst it was lovely living with girls and it definitely has it’s perks, I think I prefer living with guys.
People are always amazed when I tell them about my living situation, asking things like ‘but boys are dirtier than girls, how do you cope?!’ Honestly, I think I may be one of the messiest in the house. I remember last year, in the boys flat, a picture of a fork on the floor was posted in our group chat with the caption ‘to whom does this belong?’. They’re ever so tidy. So, no, boys are not dirtier than girls and I am usually going to be the one they are moaning at to not leave dirty plates on the side or to pull all the hair out of the drain because ‘it’s all mine anyway.’

This is the response I received when I asked for someone to send me a nice photo of the 5 of us for the student blog! Never a dull moment!

There is never a dull moment in our house. It brightens my day just to sit and watch them. From obsessively clicking each others backs to the constant abuse (all in good spirit and humour) they are just hilarious to be around. There’s always a very positive atmosphere in the house which makes coming home really nice.

I think a lot of this atmosphere stems not just from the fact we all get on so well but also from how honest we all are with each other. If something upsets or irritates one of us we just come out and say it. I think this is a really healthy way to deal with issues because there are no pent up grudges and everyone knows where they stand. Nine times out of ten that person is likely to agree that ‘yes, you’re right, we don’t need the heating on 23 hours a day’ or ‘yes, I’m sorry, I know my washing up has been on the side for 2 days, I’ve been really busy but I’ll sort it now’. It’s a lot better than silence and holding it all in.

Another remark I get often is ‘gosh, you live with your boyfriend! That’s a big step, isn’t it?’. Well, yes and no. We practically lived together last year (it’s how we met!) so it would actually have felt more strange and a bit of a step back to then go to living in different buildings. We both have our own rooms (on different floors!). I think this is really important; having your own space to go to. Honestly I can’t imagine not living with him. We live with our best friends and I wouldn’t wish for a single one of us to be apart.

They look after me, make sure I don’t walk home after dark alone, battle off creepy guys for me, tell me when I look stupid/need to get some sleep/will need a jacket out/need to get off the sofa and do some work.

They really are brilliant – and you don’t get so many passive aggressive notes in the kitchen!

I couldn’t find a (nice) photo of the 5 of us so Chris is missing here! This photo was taken in Bateson Halls where we all lived last year.

Here’s one of me and Chris at Isle of Wight Festival over the summer so he doesn’t feel left out!