I love gift giving. The holiday season rocks! I just received Disney’s Planes DVD in the mail for one nephew yesterday and have had Disney sing-alongs for my second nephew sitting on my kitchen table for a week. Plus, I excitedly finished gift giving for my husband on Sunday. I was very creative with minimum finances! I am proud for coming in under budget, too. (Though, truth be told, I am wondering what else I could pick up for the remaining $3.92!)

My husband has yet to start buying gifts for me. Altough, I do have two twenty-dollar sweaters to my name that we bought at the mall recently waiting to be wrapped. I just thought he’d be done by now. I have given him grace in his lateness since, well, he works and goes to school. And, every spare minute is spent with me. But, I don’t think it helps that I feel bad for my husband when it comes to buying me gifts.

He’s actually good at knowing me. I usually run any and all clothing purchases by him. Most of the items I do buy are off eBay, so I always ask his opinion first. He is honest in telling me that I won’t wear something. He’s right. Or that I don’t look good in green. Despite my heart’s desire, he’s telling the truth. Or that I won’t be happy paying more than twenty-five dollars for used jeans. Got me again! I am a thrifty girl. Even though he knows me so well, I am reluctant giving up gift-choosing control. I’ve been burned.

You see, I have had many beaus- with many crappy gifts attached. It should be the thought that counts, right? Wrong. One bought me perfume back in college. Sunflower. “I remember you said how much you love it!” He exclaimed. Nope. Wrong memory. I said I hate it, it makes me nausea, and I wish I never came across it. No offense, to those who wear it. Every one has different tastes, and this one gives me headaches. It’s just too much for me. Another year, a different beau gave me a My Little Pony for Christmas. A freakin’ my little pony. Seriously?! Granted, I joked around about wanting a pony for Christmas, but I didn’t think the five dollars he spent was charming. I would have been delighted by carnations not disappointed by plastic. Hope he still enjoys the leather jacket I bought him. I knew money was tight for him and simply asked for a homemade meal. Shame that the relationship ended before dinner started. Another year and not a beau, but a friend bought my husband and myself a holiday CD one year. She was sweet and well meaning, but my hubbie hates Christmas carols (odd, right?) and I had never heard of the band. She said I went on and on about how I loved them. Why does everyone seem to get me confused with someone else? I kind of think she got it as a cheap five dollar add on item or “free with purchase” and thought it would be kind to give to us. It was sweet. My mother now loves it and listens to it yearly.

Oh, and there was another year that the guy I was with kept going on and on and on about how I’d L-O-V-E the gift he bought me. I mean, after all, he “heard me talking about it all the time.” I was excited! A CAMERA! I talked about a new one over and over. It was absolutely incessant, borderline annoying. I couldn’t wait to exchange gifts! Until we did, and I was the proud new owner of a bathrobe. Oy vey. I already have a bathrobe. Where did he get that idea?! My bathrobe wasn’t old and was still loved.

I am scarred by gift giving. I need to Eternal Sunshine those ex-gifts out of my mind. My husband loves and adores me. He is thoughtful and has never let me down in the gift department before. He also asked for a list for direction and time saving. Gotta admit: gift giving is much better than receiving anyhow. I will have faith he’s not one of the past losers- because I chose to marry him! And, my husband told me today, if I don’t like it, I can return it. Must be true love- especially if he stays under budget!

I am a picky eater. I fee like I’m five sometimes when it comes to what I will and won’t eat. Last time I was at a buffet, I remember getting a couple of items that made me think, “Yep, today’s the day: I am trying something new.” Nope. I was wrong. Apparently, I am much more adventurous before rubber meets the road.

Eating out is hard to do. It doesn’t help that I am a vegetarian in the land of meat and lard. My husband and I have three places we know and trust that we’ll get take out from. When we meet people for a casual meal, I am quick to suggest Chipotle. Mmmm… I love Chipotle. I trust Chipotle. I also trust my cooking. I am more than willing to cook for company. I don’t like having others cook for me though. I don’t want my picky nature to complicate the meal. I just don’t want to be a pain or inconvenience, which is what I have become this week.

We’re having dinner with my husband’s co-worker and his family tomorrow night. We’ve had dinner before (at Chipotle!), and we enjoy hanging out together. But, suddenly, as we are making plans, I find out we’re eating at their house. Eek! I want to drag my feet. I wish I could be one of those polite people that will dig in no matter what’s for dinner, but, alas, I am not. I begin to dread the idea. My husband saves the day: we will make the dinner, and they will make dessert. Yay!

Oh, wait. That doesn’t work. We eat vegan in our home, but, when we eat at others’ homes, we eat vegetarian. That was until recently, when it hit me what an egg actually is. So freakin’ gross. And, I’m five all over again. The good news is that I don’t eat cake, muffins, and donuts like I use to. We become an inconvenience again. Truth is that I don’t mind not eating dessert. I will miss it, but I don’t want to cause problems. My husband also eats like I do, but he won’t turn down the cooking kindness of others. Our hostess was gracious in talking to me as we worked out the plans. [I should have not made the joke about all my husbands food allergies. Legit, but freaked her out. Promised that they weren’t severe, and he wouldn’t die. Totally true].

So there it is. I am walking a mile in another’s shoes. After years of rolling my eyes at people with dietary restrictions and allergies, I have become one of them. *SIGH* What can you do? I am still looking forward to dinner and dessert with friends tomorrow. Cheese lasagna, garlic bread, salad, and cherry cobbler with ice cream. Let’s hope the only thing complicated for tomorrow’s dinner is all the planning that went into it!

I never wanted to be a housewife. It was never in the plan. My fiance (now husband) and I wanted to be DINKS. Dual-income, no kids. Not forever, just for a few months. We wanted to start a family right away, but life doesn’t always happen as planned.

When I was twelve, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Ironically, I wasn’t interested in the position in the traditional sense. I think I might have been a mini-feminist. I refused learning to sew. After all, I can pay someone to alter my clothes someday. I didn’t want to clean. Isn’t that a man’s job? (I would laugh). I wanted to be good in the kitchen though: picking up the phone and making reservations.

That’s when life happened. I will shorten the decade and a half dash between then and when I about-faced. But, in the mean time, I grew up to be a wild child, married the wrong man, divorced the wrong man, and left the church. It was only until I met, Kevin, a guy I dated along the way, that I remembered loving the Lord. Kevin’s curiosity over religion reminded me I missed mine. So, in my late twenties, I dropped the self-sabotaging wildness and redirected it to changing my life.

Throughout the bumps along the way, I changed. My heart changed. I could honestly say I was a good person- crazy! And, suddenly, I found myself wanting to be a good wife. The Lord answered my prayers, too, and I met Joseph. Also known as Mr. Bauer.

There we were, not two months before our wedding, and life was good. Good-ish. I hated my job, but my groom said we needed the money. It was true; weddings and marriage does not come cheap. Yet he promised me that if the Lord didn’t want me in that job, that the Lord would take care of it. I was thrilled when I was let go just days later.

We were a little upside down when it came to money in our first few months of marriage. The fights were… well, almost indescribable. In our primary personalities, my husband is an ambitious organizer, while I am a free-spirited and fun four year old. However, our secondary personalities were the fighters, the ones that go for blood. No holds barred and take no prisoners. A “torch the earth and poison the wells” kind of couple. Yes, deliriously happy until we fought- about money and in-laws. (Those stories I will share later!)

When I started working again, we enjoyed the extra money. Who wouldn’t? It helped as we started to pay off our debt, but it wasn’t working. I lack balance, and a job didn’t help. I like to stay late and get everything done, but some jobs are never done. We were both too tired to cook at the end of the day, so we ate out. We ate out and gained weight. We were tired and lacked the energy to exercise or, umm, hang out as much. We decided that it was best for me to stay home.

It was the best decision! We were shocked how better life got when I became a housewife. Dinner’s on the table when my honey comes home. We hang out more and enjoy life together. I get to occasionally join the hubbie for lunch at his office, and I get to handle our household. Something always needs cleaned. Someone always needs called. Appointments always need to be scheduled. I handle it. My husband focuses on his career while I focus on the homestead.

I am the envy of a few friends, of course; although, I don’t watch nearly as much Netflix as I would like or they assume. Some have accused my husband of making absorbent amounts of money, so no wonder we don’t need the extra income. But, they have failed to see the sacrifices we’ve made. We’re a one (paid for) car household. The majority of our meals are at home (even cheaper when you eat vegan!). We hadn’t gotten new cell phones in four years. Our date nights are done with coupons, and our vacations are saved up for. Not to mention, without children, we save on childcare. We have sacrificed nice, new cars and a newer home for the ability to live below our means. And, I don’t go clothes shopping like I did in college… Maybe that’s why the economy’s down??? ha

It’s just a little bit more about me. Because I never I would be here: in Texas, married, in my 30′s with no children (yet), and happily a housewife. I mean, like I said: I never wanted to be a housewife. But I am glad life had better plans than I did! More to come…

When my husband and I were first engaged, my then fiance said to me, “We are total opposites!” I was so taken aback. What do you mean? Are you crazy? You couldn’t find two people more alike! Boy, was I wrong. And delusional. He was right: we were opposites. I wasn’t completely wrong, though, since we were aligned in our core values and beliefs. We did agree on so much and saw the world so similar, but we didn’t function in it the same.

He was always on time. No, early. While I was always late.

He was always clean and orderly. I strived for orderly and organized… occasionally hit it, too.

He was a planner. I was spontaneously.

He was a, umm, realist. Sarcastic one at that! I was Miss Positivity!

He was a saver. I was a spender.

He was an introvert. HIGH introvert. I was an extrovert. HIGH extrovert.

He was the nerd. I was the free spirit.

There were so many moments that the differences between us were glaring. Plus, they were amplified during arguments.

We hadn’t been married a year when we were on our way to a holiday Christmas party. We were late. Late-ish. There was a cocktail hour that gave people grace in time before they arrived for dinner. I figured we’d show up mid-to-end of the cocktail hour. My dear husband wanted to show up when it started. Let the comedy of errors ensue! To add to our issues, I had the dilemma of deciding what to wear. [Women: you are not alone. Nearly all of us spend too many hours worrying about what we wear and how we look to all sorts of events! Men: it’s not just your wife. And, I am sorry.] To save money, I decided to forgo the tradition of buying a new outfit before the new event. However, I couldn’t decide what to wear then. To make matters worse, I didn’t know how to dress for the indoor/outdoor event. I wanted to keep warm when we were outdoors but not melt over dinner.

Months earlier, I finally started to get my act together and getting out the door when my husband wanted me to. So, on this holiday night, my husband thought I was purposely stalling. Nope. Just indecisive. We were yelling, he was threatening (to leave me and go by himself, no violence!), and I was crying, hysterical on the bathroom floor (where else- right?! I was trying to do my makeup). Finally, I remembered a personality quiz we took at a marriage seminar earlier that year. The color personality quiz showed how we we opposites: I was an orange, and he was a purple. (Links below.) I suddenly cried, “I’M AN ORANGE! I DON’T WANT TO BE A PURPLE! GOD DIDN’T MAKE ME A PURPLE, AND I DON’T WANT TO BE A PURPLE! DON’T MAKE ME A PURPLE! PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME A PURPLE!!”

That made sense to my husband. I made every effort to be timely, but it just wasn’t my shining attribute. So, sometimes, I wouldn’t be perfect or on time. I also wasn’t too pretty that moment, with tears and snot dripping down my face. Yikes. It was a great “research and development” moment in the Bauer house.

We recently heard about a conflict some newlywed friends of ours had over time, too, and I giggled. I was thankful it wasn’t as drama filled as ours was! I was thankful, too, that the bride was given some sound advice at the time: if that’s the worst thing in you marriage, it seems like a pretty easy thing to fix. So true!

There have been moments that I have looked at my husband and thought: who are you? I have been filled with such anger and resentment that he wasn’t exactly like me and made the same choice. I have regretfully resented some of his differences, but I am learning to bite my tongue when it doesn’t need to wag. I am at least quick to apologize when I have said or done something stupid and disrespectful. I am trying to appreciate his differences again. I am attracted to them, after all. I like his saver ways and will appreciate them in retirement. I love his nerdy side- it shows how much he needs me! And, his pessimistic side is wearing down- he’s been mistaken as both an optimist and extrovert recently!

I think that’s what the Bible means, the two shall become one. I can see the areas my husband brings me balance. Yin and yang, if you will. If we operate together on things, we, and our decisions, will be whole. We enjoy marriage more when we accept and appreciate being opposites. And, at the very least, despite being opposites, we can hope our children turn out “in the middle” and normal!

I am addicted to Amazon. Hello, online shopping! As a woman, I love to shop. And, as a writer, I am delirious with a website filled with books and my unlimited book buying choices. There’s a never ending selection that I can order and ship for “free” with the promise of quick shipping. I could flirt with two day shipping every day. Books make me happy.

Do you remember when you first opened an Amazon account? Do you remember the first recommendations they gave you? When my husband and I first joined our Amazon accounts, our first order was a cookbook. Keeping with that tone, all the following recommendations we received were for cookbooks. All healthy, and most vegan, just like the initial one we ordered. Now, though, many months and many orders later, I am fascinated by the new recommendations we are given. Books on business, health, and leadership. More on finance, adoption, and fashion. Thrilled by biblical, spiritual, and relational books, and, also, chocolate! Yum. We are no longer offered one dimensional products because we are not one dimensional people.

As I start planning a new business and count down the days to launching it online, I some times feel boxed in as the “entrepreneur” and “small business owner.” Even though my business focuses on health (and it is a priority for me), it’s not my defining characteristic, in my opinion. My highest priority is being a wife- Being Mrs. Bauer. It’s a traditional marriage that we’re in, and we couldn’t love it more. After all, there is so much I have learned and loved about being a wife and want to share it with others. This blog is meant to reach out to clients to know me better but go beyond and, hopefully, encourage others in life. Yes, there will be days and posts I share and blog of health and nutrition, but it’s just under the umbrella of being a wife and being me. I love my husband, fashion, and London! As my Amazon orders know, I’m interested in travel, finance, and marriage. Did I also mention a love of chocolate? I am a writer and dreamer and woman who thinks her words can bring something to the table- whether happiness and humor or humility and heartache. I have experienced a lot of life and hope my story can help others.

My life feels like it might not just be my own, so I’d like to share it. May we both learn from it, connect, and grown. May my open heart reach open minds that we may share and dance in life together.