Writing/Coaching – Or Whatever Is Your Area of Expertise

I have years of experience with writing and coaching that I am tapping into to generate another stream of income.

Writing and coaching may not be your thing.

The key is to find what you are passionate about and learn to turn it into an income producer.

Don’t worry if you aren’t sure what that might be.

Give me a call and we’ll chat and soon you’ll have a good idea what it is.

Traditional Sources of Income

Keep your day job for now. Be the best employee you can be.

Put a percentage of your income into savings. Think in percentages. If all you can save is 1% of your net income then do it. When you have established that habit consider increasing to 2% or saving 1% of your gross income.

Don’t cash out your current investments. If possible. I would say cash it out if that is what it takes to make a business investment. But look for every other possible way first.

Open Your Mind to Multiple Streams of Income.

Today the important thing is to be open to other streams of income. They will come in time.

And always focus on the main one – for me that is network marketing. It is my main stream of income. Pretty much all my other activity is on a pathway towards the MLM opportunity. It is what I am most passionate about.

The other streams of income have shown up as I worked my MLM. When I recognize a new stream of income I welcome it.

One of the best advantages of internet marketing is that you can target your audience. My mentor Ferny Ceballos is the master at targeting and connecting with your ideal market. Read this blog to learn more.

And in fact, thinking this way is a recipe for wasting a whole bunch o’ time on people who will NEVER buy what you’re selling.

Don’t believe me?

Well, think about this for a moment…

It doesn’t matter if you’re dressed sharp as a tack, sporting a contagious smile, and are prepared to deliver your kicked-up-a-notch presentation on the culinary merits of your new bacon opportunity (that’s so delicious it sells itself!)

Because if you’re audience is the annual Kosherfest in New Jersey…

No one’s buying!

…and more to the point: you and your abominable merchandise are getting kicked to the curb, to boot!

Makes perfect sense, right?

So allow me to repeat myself…

Selling & Prospecting isn’t a numbers game!

And sure, maybe this example sounds a bit hyperbolic, but 90% of home business owners make the deadly mistake of throwing their deal at the wall to see what sticks, so to speak, instead of investing time honing in on their target market.

Don’t let this happen to you!

Because when it comes to connecting with your prospects, there’s nothing more important than knowing exactly WHAT words to say and WHO to say them to.

And that’s precisely why we’re about to explore how to identify the right words to impact your prospects emotionally, and directly connect with what they’re looking for.

If you follow this process correctly, you’ll position yourself as THE consultant who can provide THE answers to your prospect’s specific problems.

So, to start, you’ll first need to…

Create a chart

I like to use a chart to list out all of my information visually.

This helps me stay focused and organized.

The chart has four columns:

Your target market

Your market’s pains and struggles

Their desires or desired outcomes

Their language

Okay, let’s dive in…

With your blank chart in hand, the first step in this process is to choose a target market for whatever you want to promote.

So list out your potential target markets, pick one, and then fill in your first column.

Let’s first talk about a potential target market that I like to call “cubicle slaves.”

These are people who work at a corporate job that they hate, but are well compensated for.

Think of the “Dilbert” types.

Maybe they’re programmers, or accountants, or even lawyers.

It’s a white collar job, and they’re paid decently, but they hate their life…

They hate their work

They’re not fulfilled

They feel like there’s something greater in store for them

That’s the cubicle slave market.

Why would I want to target those people?

Because they have money to invest in an opportunity or something that could dramatically change their lives.

Next…

What are the pains and struggles a cubicle slave deals with?

They hate their job

They hate their boss

They’re bored at work

They’re unfulfilled at work

They hate commuting in traffic

They work too many hours (with or without more pay)

They don’t have enough time with family (tied into their work hours)

High stress levels

No time freedom

You’re going to do the same thing for your target market.

Go on, fill in your details.

Whatever your target market’s pains and struggles are, list them out on your chart (soon you’ll use these pains and struggles in your own marketing).

Next…

Under the desires column, you’re going to write out what these people want to achieve in their lives.

In the case of cubicle slaves, it would be:

Time freedom—set their own hours

More time with family

Short commute or no commute—being able to work from home

Job fulfillment—making an impact

Financial freedom—more money

Time for vacations and travel

Less stress

Make sure to take your time filling out your chart.

This is super important, so don’t rush through it.

Next…

When you choose the language to talk to your target market, remember that your language is likely different from theirs.

Your goal is to connect with them, so it’s important that you don’t use any words they won’t connect with and understand.

In your copy and your content, you want to make sure that you use the language they’re accustomed to.

So ask yourself…

What are some words this target market would use on a day-to-day basis?

For example, here’s the language a cubicle slave would use to describe their work environment…

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…

Ferny Ceballos is a graduate from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and the University of Southern California, in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering, respectively. After working for 5 years as an aerospace engineer, his entrepreneurial aspirations motivated him to turn to the network marketing and internet marketing industry to escape the rat race. Since leaving Aerospace in 2008, he has personally been responsible for over 11 million dollars in sales online over 10 years in his personal business, and helped countless clients produce six-figure and seven-figure incomes promoting their businesses using the internet.

You are a compassionate human being who has chosen to earn income by representing a company and its products.

You believe in the products. You have embraced the business model and comp plan.

And you are beginning to realize that not everyone shares your point of view.

With the best of intentions, your up line tells you that it is a numbers game. All you have to do is so many presentations a day.

But now you realize that approach doesn’t work for you; it isn’t you.

The biggest reason you have not felt successful with old school techniques is your agenda.

The Five Listening Skills work best when you release any agenda you may have. The good news is that the Five Listening Skills help you release your agenda.

By now you have released your agenda. You have used Reflective Listening, InterpretiveListening, and Helpful Questions.

As a result, you believe you understand what your friend wants and doesn’t want. You are positioned to be their best friend by giving them Supportive Feedback.

Most of us don’t want to be told what we should do which is why old school network marketing gives our profession a bad name.

Instead, you are going to give her feedback that tells her what you have heard her say and you will express the emotions that you have about her choice with Supportive Feedback.

It will feel comfortable if you have patiently listened with Reflective Listening, InterpretiveListening, and Helpful Questions.

What does Supportive Feedback sound like? There is a formula that you can follow that will require a little practice but once you have mastered Supportive Feedback you will be ready for the Confident Close.

Here is the basic framework of Supportive Feedback:

I feel [fill in the specific feeling you have]

when [state the specific statement your friend has made]

because [give your specific, personal reason for feeling the way you do]

Did you notice that you must be specific and you will need to own your feelings?

Your Supportive Feedback should always start with “I feel.” Until now you have focused on what your friend was feeling and thinking.

Now you need to ask yourself a few questions, like:

How do I feel? If you were posting on Facebook what emoticon would you use? Are you feeling confused, disappointed, concerned, anxious, perturbed, glad, relieved? There are many more emotions. List them. As a rule, our culture does not recognize feelings. You need to become comfortable with your emotions and help your friend to do so as well. Once, you have identified what you are feeling, you have the first element of your Supportive Feedback.

For the second element, you must identify what about the situation is making you feel this way. Use pronoun “you” carefully so you don’t make you Supportive Feedback feel like an accusation.

Finally, you need to communicate to your friend why it makes you feel this way.

You can express a positive emotion or feeling like this:

You have listened to your friend talk about wanting to quit her job. She has said that she is willing to do whatever she must to be able to stay at home with her children.

I feel so hopeful

when you say that you are willing to do whatever

because there are lots of women in my company who are seeing great success while working from home.

You can express a negative emotion or feeling like this:

You have been listening to your sister talk about how frustrated she is by billing paying. She has concluded that there is nothing she can do and will say nothing.

I feel sad

when you say that you plan to do nothing to change the billing paying routine

because I know you have several options available to you.

You use Supportive Feedback to:

Role model open, honest and direct communication.

Communicate what you are feeling so your friend doesn’t need to guess.

Ensure that you recognize and own your feelings.

Move towards a Confident Close.

You may find Supportive Feedback hard because:

You may have difficulty recognizing and/or expressing emotions.

You may not believe that the structure of I feel, when, because is important.

Using these elements will feel awkward until you have practiced them.

You may be tempted to bring your agenda to the table. If it is to be supportive you must let your friend’s agenda still be the driving factor.

Supportive Feedback is vital because:

It clarifies your conversation.

It allows you to direct the conversation to a conclusion.

It establishes you as a leader who will serve and not manipulate.

It helps you support your friend in the best decision for them.

You still must guard against your agenda ruling the conversation.

Communicates to your friend that you put her first and will support her decision.

Practice makes good; more practice makes better.

Practicing Supportive Feedback

Take each scenario and use the basic framework of Supportive Feedback to lead your conversation to the Confident Close. These scenarios are fiction so you can use a little fiction with what you have learned in the first part of your conversation. The important thing is to get comfortable with the framework of Supportive Feedback and to keep it focused on your friend’s agenda, not yours.

I feel [fill in the emotion or feeling you are experiencing.]

When [fill in with what makes you feel that way. Use pronoun “you” carefully so you don’t make you Supportive Feedback feel like an accusation.]

Because [fill in with why it makes you feel the emotion or feeling that you do.]

Use pronoun “you” carefully so you don’t make you Supportive Feedback feel like an accusation.

You want a statement like this:

I feel______________ when ___________________ because ______________________________.

Your sister has told you she hates paying bills because money is tight. She says that she is ready to do something different to get different results.

Your best friend says that she wants to work from home and is going to start back with the direct selling company she was with before – it isn’t your company and she quit because she didn’t like the customer service or her up line.

Your sister says that she would love to take your essential oils but they cost too much. She is going to get some from Vitamin Cottage.

Your friend says that she loves your products and will be a customer but that she doesn’t have time to be a distributor.

Your friend says that she needs to do the business but she is so afraid of sharing with people.

That’s because the best marketers out there don’t simply sell products.

They sell desire, results, and identity.

And you can, too.

All it takes is a quick lesson in propaganda.

The eggs n’ bacon school of marketing

Now, when I talk about propaganda, I’m not talking about the “fake news” debate that’s taking the world by storm.

Propaganda is simply the act of changing public discourse to sway people’s actions.

Sure, the term itself has sinister associations, but that’s not always the case.

The principles of propaganda work so well in the world of marketing, in ways that most of us aren’t even aware of.

I’ll give you one of my favorite examples from the 1920s.

See, during the Roaring Twenties the typical American breakfast consisted of toast, coffee, and orange juice.

Families back then had a “go, go, go” mentality and rarely had time for a traditional hot, sit-down meal.

Sound familiar?

This was a major concern to the Beech Nut Packing Company.

Why?

Well, their main product was bacon.

Back then, bacon for breakfast was a foreign concept.

People just weren’t on board with its fatty, salty goodness for breakfast (sorry vegans and vegetarians in the house).

So the good people at the Beech Nut Packing Company decided to take a slightly unconventional approach to dealing with their bacon problem…

They hired a famed propagandist

The man they hired was Edward Bernays.

Simply put, this guy was the LeBron James of propaganda.

Bernays was far from your traditional ad man.

He didn’t create his campaign for bacon by putting it on sale or trying to sway people with its delicious flavor.

He didn’t dress up salesmen in pig costumes on the street to give away free samples.

Nor did he try to create a brilliant bacon-based recipe book.

None of which are terrible ideas, it’s true.

But instead, he took a totally different approach.

An approach that had little to do with bacon itself.

Bernays quickly realized the best way to get bacon on the breakfast plate was to…

Indirectly influence the daily eating habits of everyday families

To do this, he sought out and identified the trusted authority figures on the standard American diet.

He didn’t talk to butchers, grocers, or even the families themselves.

Instead, he sent out a survey to 5,000 doctors across the country asking one simple question:

“Do you support a hearty breakfast or a light one?”

4,500 doctors (that’s 90%, by the way) agreed that a hearty breakfast was the way to go.

The propagandist in Bernays took that response and ran wild with it, arranging for an educational campaign to be published in newspapers across the country which proclaimed…

“Nine out of ten doctors recommend a hearty breakfast!”

And guess what was suggested as the go-to hearty breakfast?

Bacon and eggs.

Obviously, the campaign was a massive success.

Walk into any diner across the country and you’d be hard-pressed not to find a side of bacon on any given table.

And by the way, that’s exactly where the “nine out of ten doctors recommend” cliche in the infomercial world came from.

Anyhow, the key takeaway here is that Bernays was able to uncover arguably the most effective way to advertise bacon without actually advertising bacon.

He ran a survey and publicized the results.

That’s it.

Notice that I never mentioned “running ads” in that story, either.

As a marketer, you should strive to take a similar approach.

Because sometimes it pays to act less like an advertiser and more like a propagandist.

Here’s what I mean…

Advertising doesn’t have to be “advertising”

So if you want to advertise ala Bernays, it pays to understand psychology.

In fact, Bernays was actually Sigmund Freud’s nephew.

Yeah, the Sigmund Freud.

As a result, Bernays was knee-deep in Freud’s concept of subconscious desires and motivations, which he used to influence public opinion on a larger scale.

Beyond bacon, Bernays went on to work under two U.S. Presidents and was listed as one of the 100 most influential Americans of the 20th Century by Life magazine due to his accomplishments as a PR mastermind.

A couple of which include…

He popularized the concept of the “music room” in one’s home (in order to sell pianos).

He was also responsible for the mandate requiring hair nets at certain jobs.

Most famously, though…

Bernays was also responsible for overturning the idea that “nice girls don’t smoke”

Back in the 1950s, Bernays arranged massive PR demonstration which saw fashionable women protesting in the streets of New York City while lighting up, inspiring women across the country to smoke in public and challenge the double-standard.

As a result, the idea of women smoking as something taboo dissolved in a matter of weeks.

Impressive, right?

Again, Bernays’ success in the world of PR has less to do with the products he was looking to push versus influencing the desires of the public:

The desire to be healthier through eating a hearty breakfast.

The desire to be sophisticated by owning a piano.

Or the desire to end a form of oppression by smoking in public.

In each case, the product is secondary.

What comes first is something much, much bigger.

So what’s bigger than your product?

Effective ads are about so much more than catchy jingles, buzzworthy benefits, and the thing you’re selling.

I’m not saying that products don’t matter, but a sense of identity is so much more important to your prospects.

Let’s go back to Bernays and how identity shaped his campaigns.

Bernays wasn’t selling bacon to American families.

He was selling better health.

People don’t care about bacon, but they do care about their health.

See how the concept is framed?

Rarely are we ever convinced to purchase a particular product.

But rather a larger idea, concept, or image.

The world of network marketing plays by the exact same rules.

Here at EMP, we provide courses on subjects such as email marketing, traffic generation, and social media.

And yeah, these tactics are incredible for growing your network marketing empire, no doubt.

But marketing these tactics is about more than just generating leads and increasing your conversions.

It’s about the values of entrepreneurship

You see, everything you learn here at EMP is ultimately a matter of identity.

Think about it…

Entrepreneurs, such as yourself if you’re reading this, have a different identity than your typical employee.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with working as an employee.

But I think you’ll agree there’s a difference between identifying as an employee versus identifying as an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurs, even if they’re currently working a job, have their eyes on building their own enterprise, right?

And for good reason too…

Entrepreneurship is a path to the ultimate desire

Which is freedom.

Freedom, above all else, is what aspiring business owners desire.

Ask yourself…

Do you want the rude awakening of an alarm clock?

Do you want to be forced into a miserable, traffic-jammed commute?

Or do you want to be hounded by a boss who wants you to come in on Sunday to finish up those TPS reports?

Again, these are all matters of identity.

Particularly if you’re building your business online…

You want to be the one steering the ship

You want to be your own captain, working on your own time and terms

And you definitely want to decide how, when, and where you work!

Right?

So when you’re communicating with your audience…

These points should come first and foremost.

And yeah, you want to use all the other marketing tactics we’ve talked about in the past.

You know, stuff like focusing on benefits, being ultra specific, and offering up strong proof elements.

Those things still matter, of course.

But never lose sight of the big picture.

Everything should be framed around a larger vision.

So ask yourself…

How are you making your prospects feel?

Is your product going to help them live the life they’ve always dreamed of?

Allowing them to make the rules?

Are you helping them feel empowered to achieve their desires?

Because it doesn’t matter what you’re selling to an entrepreneur, whether it’s a pen or a hearty breakfast…

Once you tap into a sense of freedom, you’re golden.

Nothing else even comes close.

And that’s the bottom line.

So now that you’re clear on what you’re actually selling…

How do you put your message in front of your market?

As you’ve learned…

Uncovering your prospects’ true desires is the first aspect of sealing the deal.

You don’t have to let the technical side of marketing hold you back from finding hot new prospects.

We’ve got that covered.

In fact, I’d like to invite you to check out a step-by-step tutorial that reveals our exact advertising process in a 100% FREE online workshop, hosted by none other than Tim Erway, our co-founder and CEO here at Elite Marketing Pro, who’s responsible for generating over 30 million dollars in revenue online (and counting).

ANDREW T DRAUGHON

Andrew Draughon is the Director of Content at Elite Marketing Pro. Yet not long ago Andrew was hauling shingles and hanging drywall for paltry wages in the frigid winters of upstate Pennsylvania. Making the decision to never wake up before sunrise in sub-zero weather again, Andrew moved to Florida, discovered his passion for marketing, and has been working via his laptop ever since.

You do not want your first impression online to be one of annoyance. You want to attract fellow entrepreneurial folks to take a look at your business and product.

So, is it time for you to evaluate what you are doing?

Here is a list I got from my mentor Ferny Ceballos, along with how he found success while not being annoying.

1) Your first private message to a stranger on social media includes a link to join your opportunity.

2) You get angry replies via private messaging and/or you have been reported as a spammer.

3) You post links to your opportunity or website in the comments section of other people’s social media posts

4) You compulsively want to talk about your company or products, without anyone asking you to share.

Finally… this one is the most important one…

5) You engage in interactions online, with a hidden agenda, hoping to transition the topic to something that would get people interested in your opportunity, without caring about knowing the other person.

This last one for me is a big one but could also be controversial.

After all, #5 is the very definition of prospecting (online or offline), which even when done right… can still feel awkward, result in people getting angry at you and very unleveraged, which is why I eventually decided to stop prospecting altogether.

But here’s the interesting thing…

“When I Stopped Prospecting People, My Business Started Growing!”

I can’t tell you how relieved and at peace I felt, when I once again, was able to go out with my friends, visiting a family member’s home or be in a public place without having to think about prospecting anyone.

“This is exactly how I felt after learning Ferny’s approach.

Not only did I once again feel a freedom to engage with family and friends without bugging them about my business.

I now can share what I am doing in my business because I love what I am doing and I am excited about the future.”

In this blog series I blend Ferny’s Attraction Marketing Formula and listening skills I trained volunteers to use at the nonprofit organization I directed. These skills are designed to serve others and not prospect them.

Connie Suarez

Just enjoying being normal again, was incredible, after two years of being taught by my upline that “everyone was a prospect” and approaching every conversation with a hidden agenda, I was free!

That’s because it wasn’t until I STOPPED prospecting, that my business actually started growing!

Weird, right?

At this point, you may be asking, “then how the hell did your business grow?”

Well before I answer that, I have to say that there are people who are very skilled prospectors and recruiters who completely disregard the issues I mentioned above.

They knowingly and without shame, approach every interaction with a stranger as a prospecting opportunity.

Getting yelled at or cursed out by prospects is no big deal, as long as some people say ‘yes.’

And just like doing it right offline, there’s a way to successfully do it online as well. After learning and becoming very good at prospecting, I decided that I didn’t want to build my business this way.

The problem with prospecting in general, as it’s normally taught, is that the mindset going in is still about what YOU want people to do and about manipulating people into doing what you want them to do.

In other words, it’s about YOU, not them. I didn’t like that, but I still did it for a little while… until I did find a better way.

The More Leveraged Alternative to 1-on-1 Prospecting, Which Won’t Make You Feel Like a Cheap Sales Man

Now, I am not trying to be high and mighty about all this prospecting stuff, because I’m not.

If it came down to feeding my family with ‘stone cold’ prospecting tactics or my kids starving, I choose stone cold prospecting every time, without remorse.

But the reason I was able to quit prospecting was that, with the help of some extraordinary mentors, I eventually discovered an online recruiting strategy, which…

Enabled me to recruit more people in 1 Day, than the most skilled recruiter in the world can do in 1 month I was able to passively generate leads, customers and new reps – even when I was out having fun with friends and family.

(Hence why I didn’t have to worry about prospecting them!)

Rather than spending hours spamming or private messaging people on social media, I learned how to legitimately get Facebook and other networks to actually help me attract the people who are most interested in what I have to offer, using their ads platform! (i.e. going legit!)

In fact, every day for almost 8 years now, I’ve awoken to an email inbox full of notifications for new leads, new customers, new team members and commissions I earned while sleeping!

This strategy is called ‘attraction marketing’, which is an internet marketing strategy designed for networkers and people in direct sales!

You see, if your business depends on you being on social media, sending private messages or commenting on people’s posts all day, you are NOT doing internet marketing… despite what you may have been led to believe.

Online prospecting and internet marketing are NOT the same thing!

Internet marketing is a passive strategy, which works, even when you are not.

As you have hopefully been learning in my Five Listening Skills series, having an agenda is deadly to building a relationship that is conducive to recruiting.

If your friend suspects that you have an agenda you shouldn’t expect to get very far. Even your closest friends don’t like to be used.

They will bend over backward to help you but they want you to be up front about it.

So if you don’t want to be a charter member of the NFL – No Friends Left Club, you need to learn to market your product/opportunity without an agenda.

Here are three ways to prospect without an agenda.

First, seek to benefit others.

When you are focused on helping others, you experience an attitude shift.

You know that. But how do you achieve it?

By rebooting your intentions. Keep your goals to share with three people a day. Keep your dream board filled with the things and purposes you are seeking to fulfill. Revisit them. Your goals are vital to your success. But marry them to your intentions in such a way that you will be free of an agenda.

Reboot your intentions daily with affirmations.

Today I am seeking to listen to ten people.

I am committed listening to hear what they are struggling with and what resources they have available.

Today I want what is best for each person I listen to.

I am listening to understand not reply.

I am prepared to give Supportive Feedback for the best solution for the people I listen to.

I am prepared to make a Confident Close helping them move forward in the plan they have chosen.

Next, imagine you already have a huge organization built and you don’t need to sign one more customer or distributor.

This tip comes from one of the leaders in my company.

When I heard him teach this strategy, he was already there. He had achieved the organization that allowed him to believe that he didn’t need to sign up anyone else.

Or had he? He certainly wasn’t at the highest level. He hadn’t quit working so it can be reasonably assumed that he still wanted – needed – more people.

Perhaps, the pressure to sign another team builder was even greater for him.

The strategy is simple, convince yourself that you already have an enormous team built.

Accomplishing that will take a little work.

Affirmations are again in order. While you are saying your daily intentions, repeat these affirmations.

I am the network marketer who has built a team of 12 focused and motivated winners.

Our team has found over 10,000 like minded entrepreneurs who are thrilled with the products they offer.

I don’t need to sign one more person. I am still working because I am giving back as I find those who still need what I offer.

Say those three statements for thirty days and you will be the person you are talking about.

Want to talk about how to make those affirmations fit for you, drop me an email and we’ll set up a video chat.

Finally, tap into the world’s largest prospect list – the internet.

You don’t have to wait until you have reprogrammed your brain with daily intentions and affirmations. You can literally and virtually tap into the world today. You can even target those who like what you are doing.

You don’t have to talk to ten people to hopefully share with three. You can share with hundreds or thousands – a day.

It takes time and money (but it doesn’t have to be a lot of time and money) to tap into the internet. It also takes learning a few new skills. But many network marketers are doing it.

I stumbled upon this because someone else was using the tools that I have now adopted.

I had developed my person to person network marketing skills. Then my mom’s health changed my ability to get out.

Suddenly, my business jolted to a halt. Until I discovered Attraction Marketing Formula, written by MIT graduate, NASA space engineer turned frustrated network marketer, Ferny Ceballos. Ferny knows your pain because he has lived it and overcome it.

Attraction Marketing Formula is offered by Elite Marketing Pro which provides training to network marketers to equip them to build their business using the internet.

Elite Marketing Pro teaches different approaches so you can make it fit your situation and personality.

Have you ever found yourself wanting a spouse or close friend to know what you want instead of having to tell them?

The picture that comes to mind is a husband, who is clueless, asking his wife what is wrong. She coldly turns her back to him and says, “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

It makes for a funny sitcom episode. But in life, it is anything but funny.

So, wouldn’t it be great if you could discern what others want by listening to them?

With the Five Listening Skills, you can!

Where we tend to go wrong is to start with a question.

If you first use Reflective and Interpretive Listening, you will assure your friend that you care about what she is feeling.

She will then be ready for you to ask a Helpful Question. You will be rewarded with learning what your friend needs for you to know so that you can support her in the best decision for her.

What is a Helpful Question?

It is a directive question you ask that cannot be answered with a yes or no.

You want to direct the conversation in the most helpful area for your friend. This is not where you pick up the agenda you have released.

But since you have been using Reflective and Interpretive Listening you have learned what is on your friend’s mind.

Now it is time to dive deeper with a Helpful Question.

This requires curiosity. You may be reluctant to follow your curiosity. You may have been conditioned to ignore your curiosity because it is considered rude.

Would you agree that curiosity is not rude when it is stirred by love and concern for someone else?

For example, if your sister says she just got a positive test from the doctor. She may need for you to be curious about the results. She may need for you to be curious about how she is feeling about the results.

If she didn’t have the need to talk about the test results would she have mentioned them?

Put yourself in her position. Does she need for you to start telling her what she should do? How do you feel when someone gives you unrequested advice?

This can be hard if you believe that you have something that will help her.

If she has a health problem that your product can help with . . .

If she wants to earn money working from home and your comp plan is perfect for her . . .

Remember this:Wait patiently.

Listen lovingly.

When the time is right, you will share what is on your heart, if you have allowed her to share what is on her heart.

Consider this quote by Roy T. Bennett, “Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

You want to make your question directive and prompt a complete answer by asking an open-ended question – one that cannot be answered with a yes or no answer.

An open-ended question usually starts with one of the following words:

Who

What

When

Where

Why

How

Here are some examples of closed-ended and open-ended questions:

Closed: Are you worried about the test results?

Open: How do you feel about the test results?

Closed: Is blue your favorite color?

Open: Why is blue your favorite color?

Closed: Do you want to quit your job?

Open: What do you seeing yourself doing in five years?

You get the idea.

We sometimes hesitate to ask questions, but if you have used the first two Listening Skills you have begun a process that will feel natural as you ask a Helpful Question.

Think about it as providing a service.

You will be listening. Most of us don’t have many if any listeners in our lives. That creates a vacuum. When you show up with a listening attitude, your friend will fill that vacuum with words from her heart.

Here is what you will provide your friend if you listen to her with a Helpful Question:

You will encourage her to share what is on her heart.

You will help her talk it out, which is one of the best problem-solving techniques.

You will assure her that you are listening; that what she thinks is important to her.

You will move the conversation along in a direction that is helpful for your friend.

You can’t ask Helpful Questions and work your agenda.

You are ready to give Supportive Feedback to your friend and then make a Confident Close.

You may have difficulty with Helpful Questions because:

You feel that asking questions is rude.

It takes thought to know which way you can best direct the conversation.

You need to be listening for your friend’s feelings as well as the content of her words.

You still need to release your agenda

Practice makes good. More practice makes better.

Helpful Question Exercises. Here are some statements that might have been made as a result of Reflective and Interpretive Listening. Some of these statements will tempt you to skip getting more information – information that will better serve you and your friend as you move forward.

Practice patience.

These practice statements require that you imagine what the previous Reflective and Interpretive Listening steps provided you. As you answer use directive, open-ended questions. Consider what you imagine your friend is feeling. Ask yourself what information you need to understand what they feel like and what they need to hear themselves say to make the best decision. Be careful. Some of these statements will make you want to share your companies comp plan or your product’s health benefits. Don’t do it. Not yet!:

Yes, I do resent that John doesn’t help more with bill paying. It feels like he avoids the stress and lets me deal with it.

My job, you know how much I used to love it. I wanted out of the other one and now this one feels the same.

I hate how I feel jealous of Cassie. I would just like once to have something she wants instead of the other way around.

I worry about the car every time I drive to work. It is a long commute and I see the odometer keep nudging toward 200,000.

I wish I felt as good as you. You seem to be aging well.

I can’t believe that summer is ending. It feels like forever before my next vacation. I took time off last month. But I already need more time off.

Frank’s schedule is crazy. The kids hardly see him anymore. He feels guilty and I feel resentful.

I would like to have a business like you but I am not sure I could do what you do.

Congratulations, you have put away your agenda and Listen Reflectively and Interpretively to open up an opportunity to ask Helpful Questions.

With these three Listening Skills, you have learned more about what your friend or family member wants and needs in life.

You know what their hopes and dreams are.

They know that you care about them. They might be thinking in more positive terms about what you are doing – about your hopes and dreams.

So now, with your agenda still safely tucked away, it is time for you to give your friend some Supportive Feedback.

Because it’s extremely difficult to make effective decisions when you’re emotionally exhausted.

This comes up over and over again, especially when people are dealing with the financial risks inherent in advertising.

Case in point: I keep seeing this in our private Facebook group, especially with the brand new members.

They make frantic posts—in utter desperation mode—thinking they’re asking for help, but in reality they’re just emotionally lashing out, without providing any contextual information (which would allow us to actually help them solve their problems).

This, as you might have guessed, doesn’t help anyone.

So how do you deal with the stress of your financial situation?

How do you stay productive in the face of adversity?And how to you effectively ask for help?

These are skills you’ve got to develop if you want to succeed in business.

And the following 4 steps will help.

1. Bring yourself to a state of calm

First, you need to be in a positive state; or at least calm.

Because you can’t even think straight when you’re emotionally negative.

When you’re negative, you don’t have focus or clarity, so you can’t ask effective questions or make sound decisions.

You can’t have breakthroughs when you’re in a negative emotional state.

Returning to the example above…

Frustrated advertisers in our Facebook group, who are lashing out in a negative emotional state, often post this kind of comment…

“I don’t know what’s going on! My ads aren’t working!”

And here’s the thing…

This statement doesn’t provide any information or data to actually help them.

Basically, this type of post just lets the world know they’re struggling emotionally.

And why would someone do that?

Well, the answer is simple…

It’s because they aren’t even thinking, because they honestly can’t in that agitated state of mind.

Here’s the thing, though…

We have to train ourselves as entrepreneurs to deal with emotional stress

I’m sure many of you can relate to feeling this way.It’s common when we get started in business, because it’s a brand new experience.

We’re wide-eyed and overwhelmed, and that leads to a lot of negative emotions and reactions.

We’re scared because we don’t know what the heck we’re doing!

And that’s nothing to be ashamed of; it happens to everyone at first.

You know, it’s that whole “getting outside your comfort zone” thing.

But the bottom line is that when you’re in a negative state and frantically asking for help, you unfortunately won’t be able to get help you need.

Because if you want help, first you need to…

2. Ask for help in a clear, concise way

Say one of our team members sees the post of someone anxiously asking for help, who’s saying their “ads aren’t working.”

But there’s no concrete information provided.

Well, we then have to reply and say…

“Calm down. Please provide the information we need to know in order to help you.”

Which leads to a lengthy back-and-forth exchange, rather than doing a single post and immediately getting the help they need.

Instead it’s two or three posts later with numerous ongoing comments required.

This is not productive in any way!

We’re willing to work with you, of course, but there’s no need to make our mentors work harder than necessary.

Because in order to receive help, you have to provide the specific information (actual data) that allows the people in our community to help you.

And in order to ask for help effectively, you need to be in a state where you can actually think.

The best way to calm your emotions?

Hands down is through some sort of meditation.Now, I’m not an ‘esoteric’ guy, but I do see the value of meditation.

Meditation can help calm you down and bring you back into a positive state.

There are apps that you can download for your phone that provide a easy guided meditation.

But there’s a specific way to pray…

Instead, it’s much more helpful to pray for the things you’re grateful for.

Pray for the things that are going right in your life!

Pray for the people in your life and just be thankful in your prayer that they’re in your life.

Be grateful for what you have.

Focus on things that are positive

Now, if you’re not religious, and that’s not resonating with you, Tony Robbins has a great gratitude meditation.

It’s called “The Guided Reflection” or the “Emotional Flood” exercise.

You can go to YouTube right now and search for “Tony Robbins gratitude meditation,” and he’ll take you through the process.

In this exercise you go from a negative state, a state of internal conflict, to a state of gratitude and joy.

It brings you back to a point where you can actually think and focus.

This is so important, and it reminds me of something I’ve taught before called…

“Walking with Death”

It’s the ability Special Forces use to remain calm in a state of heightened pressure.

I mean situations where bullets are flying and people are dying.

How do you maintain your composure in that environment?

What soldiers have trained to do, especially in the Special Forces, is to already accept the fact that they might die.

They’ve accepted, and made peace with that idea, and then they go into battle.

If you’re not afraid to die then you’re not afraid, period.

Not to say that it’s as easy as that, of course, but it’s an advanced way of being able to deal with stress.

Most of us aren’t ready to deal with that level of stress.

A more attainable version would be simply bringing yourself into a state of calm (you know, forgetting about mortality for the time being).

So even if things aren’t going right, you’re able to physically feel calm.

To do this, it’s essential that you…

3. Separate your financial stress from the work at hand

You may be asking…

“How do I separate from stress? Especially if I have financial issues, or my spouse is negative, or I hate my job? How do I separate from those things?”

Well, you have to emotionally set those things aside and say…

“Okay, that’s over here. I’ll deal with that later. I have work to do.”

If you’re not able to focus for one or two hours, then you’re not going to be productive, and you won’t get the results you need.

When I was going through my journey in the beginning, I had an insane amount of financial stress.

I was deep in debt—sixty thousand dollars in debt

I was going through a foreclosure of my home.

And I was living at home and almost lost my mom’s house, as well, because I was also responsible for her mortgage.

Now even though that’s all going on, I still had to be able to mentally set that aside and say…

“Okay, I need to focus.”

Luckily, I cultivated the ability to focus on the things I needed to do.

And a big part of this equation is being able to…

4. Believe you’re going to succeed

I never doubted myself.

I never doubted that I was going to succeed and breakthrough in this business.

And honestly, I believed that as much as I believed in God or anything spiritual in my life.

I believed with absolute certainty.

Not only are you going to need to find a way to remain calm, and emotionally separate yourself from the stuff that’s not great in your life…

You must find the unshakable belief that you can do this

Because without that belief it’s going to be hard, even while being in a state of calm, for you to focus.

And hey, maybe your belief level is not quite there yet.

That’s okay.

A simple thing to do is believe in something you’re going to be doing in the future, which will be useful to you.

Let’s say an ad campaign that generates leads, for instance.

Believe, at least, that you can actually launch that campaign.

Develop the belief that you can at least do that.

Develop the belief that you’re going to generate that first commission, that first sale, or speak to that first prospect.

Believe you can accomplish the next step!

Maybe you’re not in a place where you can believe that you’re going to be a multi-millionaire.

That’s okay.

And maybe that’s not even your goal.

Maybe you have other goals that are more important to you—that’s fine.

But at least believe you can achieve the next level of success.

Whatever that looks like for you.

When you’re bringing yourself to the state of calm, the pressure of having to make a bunch money can be too much.

So the only thing you have to worry about is doing enough to get to that next level of success.

Ray Higdon mentioned something to me, which has to do with how you see yourself now.

He says…

“What’s in your bank account or what’s in your financial books, that reflects a past-version of you, or just reflects what’s in the books. It doesn’t reflect who you are.”

If you can believe that, then you can accomplish some pretty amazing things.

It’s another way to bring yourself to a state of calm, so you can get the job done, and do the things you need to do.

Remember, step one is to do whatever is necessary to…

Bring yourself to a state of calm

I know exercise and martial arts were part of the equation for me.

You need to set aside some time just for you—where you can forget everything else in the world.

If you don’t have a lot of time then simple meditation exercises can help.

Find out what works for you!

Again, you must be able to:

Bring yourself to a state of calm

Ask for help in a clear, concise way

Set your problems aside and focus on being productive

Believe that you’re going to succeed with your next level of success

By following these steps…

You can put your stress aside and be more productive

Now, if you’re ready to take some of the stress, anxiety, and worry out of advertising by focusing on exactly the steps you need to succeed (and none you don’t), then I highly recommend signing up for my free online recruiting bootcamp.

You’ll learn the online business-building strategies I use to passively generate 300–500 leads per day, 30–50 customers per day, and recruit 70–100 new serious business-builders into my business each month.

These are the exact tactics I’ve used to create a world-wide brand and over 14 million dollars in revenue.

I can’t promise the same results for you, because every situation and person is different.

But if you are committed to taking action, I know this could possibly be the thing that helps you have a breakthrough in your business.

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…

Ferny Ceballos is a graduate from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and the University of Southern California, in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering, respectively. After working for 5 years as an aerospace engineer, his entrepreneurial aspirations motivated him to turn to the network marketing and internet marketing industry to escape the rat race. Since leaving Aerospace in 2008, he has personally been responsible for over 11 million dollars in sales online over 10 years in his personal business, and helped countless clients produce six-figure and seven-figure incomes promoting their businesses using the internet.

You’re pretty special.

On this planet, it’s rare to have bones. Only two percent of the animal species living on Earth have an internal skeleton. The rest of the living creatures here are invertebrates like insects, shellfish, and arachnids.

But you have 206 bones inside your body making up this important structural component. Your hands and your feet contain more than half of the bones in your body—in two hands and two feet alone, there are 106 bones.

How do you take care of this important body system?

Diet and exercise are important. But stress is also a factor that can literally eat away at your bones. Let’s look at why this might be.

HOW YOUR BONES WORK

Your skeletal system has many jobs. Here are a few:

Provides locomotion

Protects your brain and other vital organs

Manufactures blood cells

Stores and regulates minerals

We don’t often think of them this way, but bones are living, growing tissue. About every 7 years, you have a new skeletal system as your bones are constantly being replaced. Bones are made of calcium and other minerals and a protein called collagen. Bone tissue comes in two different types—cortical and cancellous. Cortical bone is the outer layer of bone; the hard, protective layer. Cancellous bone is the inner layer, where bone marrow is manufactured and stored. Bones also store calcium and other minerals so that when other parts of the body need minerals to function correctly, they release these minerals into the bloodstream.

Your bones are constantly under construction. Osteoclasts are busy absorbing old bone cells while osteoblasts are building new bone to take their place. When you’re young, the osteoblasts are hard at work building lots of bone cells. But as you age, the osteoclasts start to take over, leading to a general loss of bone mass. When a certain level of bone mass is lost, you develop osteoporosis, a condition where your bones are very brittle and more likely to break. In some cases, when the bone becomes very porous, it’s possible to break a bone with just a sneeze!

When you break a bone, your body immediately starts to heal it by sending connective tissue cells. These cells produce collagen and work to bridge the gap in the bone. New blood vessels start to form to help grow the new bone cells produced by the osteoblasts. These tissues are soft at first, but eventually harden into new bone.

HOW STRESS AFFECTS YOUR BONES

Stress is one factor that is believed to interrupt your skeletal structure. But why?

Remember from the Stress & Your Health blog post that the cells in your body work best when the environment surrounding them is kept constant. Stress (from either external or internal sources) disrupts the environment around the cells. If not kept to a minimum, stress can challenge the body’s ability to correct the disruption. This places cells under stressed conditions (called “oxidative stress”) and interrupts their ability to function normally. Over time, cell malfunction leads to a disruption of entire body systems which impacts your ability to function optimally.

When you’re under a lot of stress, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. When this happens, cortisol levels increase which reduces the body’s ability to absorb calcium, a nutrient the osteoblasts need to build strong bones. Additionally, your body concentrates on the systems that are necessary to fight the perceived danger, making it difficult for your bones to perform their reconstruction duties, maintain a healthy density and regulate the minerals that your body needs.

So what can you do to optimize your bone health? KEEP OXIDATIVE STRESS TO A MINIMUM!

BOOST YOUR BONE HEALTH

Here are some tips to keep your skeletal structure functioning at its best:

Get moving! Weight-bearing exercises are good for bone health. Walking, jogging, dancing, aerobics, weight lifting, and climbing stairs can help slow bone loss. Even if all you can do is walk for a few moments each day, get out and do it! Exercise may also help the glands in your body continue to produce the hormones that are necessary to maintain your bone density.

Include good sources of minerals and vitamins in your diet. Good sources of calcium are green veggies like spinach, kale, cabbage, and broccoli. Get your vitamin C from bell peppers, oranges, pineapples, strawberries, and Brussels sprouts.

Get some sun. Your body uses vitamin D to absorb calcium, so a few minutes in the sun each day can help your body manufacture the vitamin D it needs.

Watch what you drink. Don’t drink carbonated beverages, especially colas. These have been shown to interfere with the mineral balance in the body and can keep your bones from absorbing the minerals they need. Avoid drinking more than two alcoholic drinks a day.

Quit smoking. Smokers have lower bone mass and a higher risk of fractures. The reasons for this are not yet understood, but the risks get higher with the increase in years smoked and number of cigarettes smoked.

There is a listening one, two punch for aspiring recruiters.

You have already learned the first punch. We call it Reflective Listening.

In the last section, Reflective Listening was the only tool we used. But in real life, you will often use all Five Listening Skills.

Reflective Listening is helpful at the beginning of a conversation because it helps you and your friend to relax.

Reflective Listening slows you down and helps you release your agenda. It also helps you demonstrate to your friend that they are more important than your getting another sale.

Reflective Listening also helps your friend hear themselves and even clarify their comments.

But if you use Reflective Listening too much it will get weird.

You still need to learn more about what your friend is thinking and what may motivate their decision to join you as a customer or distributor. So, you use Reflective Listening’s partner, Interpretive Listening.

Interpretive Listening will help you begin the process of hearing what your friend is thinking.

You know that communication is much more than words. You learn what is being communicated by body language and tone of voice as well as the spoken words.

You are not only learning but if you use Interpretive Listening well, your friend will more clearly understand what he is thinking. He will also learn how he sounds to others.

As this happens you are opening the door to true communication.

You are further releasing the agenda you may have – the agenda that will not serve you well.

So how do you use Interpretive Listening?

With Interpretive Listening, you are listening for feelings and hidden messages in what is being said.

Suppose you are having coffee with your sister and she says.

Ugg, it’s bill paying time again. I wish John would help me.

What feelings might you hear in a statement like this?

Is there a hidden message?

In a conversation, you would have body language and tone of voice to help but it seems likely that the feelings might be a dread or helplessness. Or there might be a hidden message of frustration that her husband doesn’t help with a mundane job.

How will you respond?

Would you agree that there must be something more that your sister wants to communicate? Generally, we don’t talk about money even with family. It seems that there must be something really bothering your sister.

But if you assume that you know what she means you might get it wrong. You need more information.

Of course, you could ask the obvious question, what do you mean? How likely is she to answer you? How likely is she to deflect your question and change the subject?

Even if you think that she might be expressing a reason to join you in your company, you need to learn more. And maybe your sister needs you to listen as she talks about a frustration or fear in her life.

Based upon hints you receive from body language and tone of voice, you must decide what feeling is being expressed and if there is a hidden message expressed.

The feeling could be a dread of paying bills because of a hidden message of having more bills than money.

You can explore all possibilities with Interpretive Listening which uses lead in phrases like:

It sounds like . . .

If seems . . .

I get the sense . . .

I seems to me . . .

It sounds as though . . .

It is important to use a tentative voice. After all, you don’t know for sure. You are testing your tentative understanding of what has been said.

You could reply with feeling words:

It sounds like you really dread paying bills.

Or

It seems to me that you hate bill paying.

You have used a tentative voice when you say one of these and then you wait. Your sister might respond.

Yes, I do dread the bills. I must be sure that we still have money left for gas and groceries.

Or

I am so tired of doing it by myself. John just sits and watches his ball game.

As you can see there is the possibility that you could get two different responses. The first one is a feeling. The second is a hidden message.

At this point, you should be glad you didn’t jump to a conclusion.

But you would not leave the conversation here. You might respond with one more Interpretive Listening statement.

For instance, for the first response. You could say, again with a tentative voice:

It seems as though you are feeling a little desperate.

This gives your sister the opportunity to freely talk about what she has kept to herself. You let her take the conversation where she wants. But you will continue using the other three listening skills so that you fully grasp what she wants to tell you.

Of course, your sister may just be tired of paying bills without her husband’s help.

The conversation might go like this after you have said,

You: It seems to me like you hate paying the bills.

Your Sister: You bet I do. I process accounts payable at work all day. I want to watch the Food Channel while John pays the bills for once.

Your conversation will go in a different direction, won’t it? Again, aren’t you glad for that one Interpretive Listening skill that clarified what she said?

Maybe this conversation won’t end in your encouraging her to consider joining you in your business. But with the Five Listening Skills, you will be equipped to listen while she talks through her frustration and looks for a solution to her problem.

To recap Interpretive Listening:

You hear what may be a feeling or hidden message.

You use a tentative voice and check out your perception with a statement that starts with:

It sounds like . . .

If seems . . .

I get the sense . . .

I seems to me . . .

It sounds as though . . .

One or two Interpretive Listening statements will be all you’ll need before moving on with the conversation.

Here are the benefits of Interpretive Listening:

It will help your friend communicate their feelings.

Helps your friend clarify what they are feeling and thinking.

Allows you to check out if you are hearing the other person correctly.

Enables you to release your agenda and focus on what the other person wants.

Interpretive Listening may be difficult because:

We aren’t used to freely expressing feelings.

We may have a limited feeling vocabulary.

You may feel uncomfortable “prying” into others’ feelings.

You haven’t released your agenda and are trying to steer the conversation so that you can share your message.

Practice makes good; more practice makes better.

Interpretive Listening Practice Exercises:

For each statement list several possible feelings that are being expressed and any hidden message that you have heard. For each statement, there may be more than one way to respond. Write out as many as you can. Also, write out how you might be tempted to answer if you haven’t released your agenda.

Ugg, it’s bill paying time again. I wish John would help me.

Can you believe another year is almost over? The years keep passing and I am still in the same job!

Have you seen Zoe? She looks great. I could never lose weight like that.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love my job, it’s just that I haven’t had a real vacation in years.

My birthday is next week! I was sure I’d have my own business by now.

My boss is impossible. She expects me to be on call twenty-four, seven.

Josh and Sophie are doing a Mediterranean cruise, can you believe that?

I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

If I hear one more person talk about how they lost weight I am going to scream.

I wonder how the next door neighbors can afford a new car every year.

Interpretive Listening practice is work. Can you imagine how hard it would be to use without practice? So, spend time working on these to get good at Interpretive Listening.

And use real life to practice. We all should be listening to the people in our lives, shouldn’t we?

The next of the Five Listening Skills comes easier to most people and we are tempted to skip to it before we have properly Reflected and Interpreted what we are hearing.

Can you see how these two skills will help you release your agenda?

As you do release your agenda, you gain greater freedom to listen and learn. And then you are ready to get serious with Helpful Questions. Then you will begin to learn if the person you are listening to is someone you want to join your business, what their why is and if the timing is right for them.

As you practice your one, two punch of Reflective and Interpretive Listening feel free to call or email me with your comments and questions.