2010

Jan. 4-Jan. 10, 2010
A series of sepia-toned flashbacks highlights the contrasts between teenage nerd Les and teenage uber-jock Summer. Summer sinks yet another last-second game winning basket and Les rewards her by allowing her to drive them home.

Jan. 11-Jan. 17, 2010
“World Famous Comic Book Writer” Pete drops in on Harry and Funky at Montoni’s. References to Star Trek: Enterprise, Peanuts, and the Westview Happiness Police.

Jan. 18-Jan.24, 2010
Harry Dinkle leaves his armchair to go and pester Becky and the Westview Band as they board the bus for a competition.

Feb. 1-Feb. .7, 2010
Returned POW Wally, on whom the town, including his uncle/cousin Funky have turned their backs, drops out of community college, displays anger issues, and seeks employment at Montoni’s.

Feb. 8-Feb. 14, 2010
Rana invites her “real” adopted dad, newly-minted busboy Wally, to see the Lady Scapegoats play in the “state tournament”.

Feb. 15-Feb. 21, 2010
Coach Bull delivers a half-assed pep talk to the girls. Summer (naturally) sinks the last-second, game-winning basket. But the excitement is too much for Wally, who flees the gym in a PTSD-induced panic.

Feb. 22-Feb. 28, 2010
Panicked Wally retreats to the parking lot outside WHS; Funky and Becky drive him back to his lonely pad.

Mar. 1-Mar. 7, 2010
Back at Wally’s apartment, Uncle Cousin Funky vows to get Wally set up with some counseling at the VA, while Becky discovers a handgun under Wally’s pillow. In a private moment, Wally demonstrates his lingering feelings for Becky. Outside, Becky slips the purloined piece to Funky and instructs him to “get rid” of it. Sunday shows Wally, alone again, playing a sad tune on the trombone, as scenes of his pre-Iraqistan life flash by.

Mar. 15-Mar. 21, 2010
The Lady Scapegoats advance to the championship game at Columbus. Naturally, Coach Bushka is seized with dread. Les’ bon voyage gift to daughter Summer is a pen that sprays Mace. Les and Cayla squeeze clown-like into the PT Cruiser along with Funky, Holly and all their baggage.

Mar. 22-Mar. 28, 2010
In the big game, the Lady ‘Goats go up against Our Lady of the Cedars, and get their asses kicked for a change.

Mar. 29-Apr. 4, 2010
The She-Goats have to settle for the conference championship, but pre-select Keisha and Sum’ Mo’ as next year’s co-captains. Summer shovels the driveway so she can shoot some hoops.

Apr. 5-Apr. 11, 2010
Hard times dictate the closing of Montoni’s only remaining branch in New York City. Funky invites Les to fly with him to the city to close down shop, but not before feeding the masses with the remaining pizza inventory. Sunday brings a tribute to Jungle Comics.

Apr. 12-Apr. 18, 2010
Les takes advantage of his New York trip by paying a visit to his agent, Ann Apple, who does him the huge favor of setting him up with a publisher “right in [Les’] backyard”, Kent State Press. Les learns that Ann Apple is really Apple Annie, the formerly homeless woman who “found” his missing manuscript in Central Park.

Apr. 19-Apr. 25, 2010
Funky and Les close Montoni’s NYC for good. Funky takes time to curse the “greedy, amoral morons” who crush dreams like his. Returning to Westview, he curtails the hours at his last remaining pizzeria.

Apr. 19-May 2, 2010
Susan Smith (over)reacts with giddiness at the prospect of Les getting published. Cayla interrupts their conversation, and Les is coy when asked what kind of “stuff” he and Susan were discussing.

May 10-May 16, 2010
Les meets with Kent State University Press to seal his book deal. Susan shows up at the garage with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. Cayla arrives unnoticed, with her own bottle of bubbly, and witnesses the pair sharing a toast.

June 7-June 13, 2010
Funky’s business continues to struggle, and his tenant Dead Skunk Head John is late with the rent on the Comix Corner. Funky goes into the safe and produces a “valuable” comic that he can sell to temporarily solve the crisis.

June 14-June 20, 2010
Funky checks his dad into a nursing home. Afterwards, he orders a “vodka and orange” at a bar, but changes his mind and leaves.

June 21-June 27, 2010
Driving home, Funky is run off the road by a driver talking on her cell phone, who leaves the scene. Apparently unharmed, and with his own phone disabled, Funky walks back to town to call a tow truck.

June 28-July 4, 2010
Funky reaches the town, but things are somehow different. Montoni’s is locked, and missing its awning and signage. The trees appear smaller than he remembers. Funky makes his way to the park as the Westview Band plays their July 4th concert: the conductor is a much younger Harry Dinkle.

July 5-July 11, 2010
Still seemingly back in his past, Funky encounters his teenaged self and a young Crazy Harry. Young Funky fetches his dazed and confused older self some water. Old Funky sits on the park bench and soliloquized about growing older.

July 12-July 18, 2010
Wandering through the Westview of his youth, Old Funky grouses about “killer shark issues”. He again meets his younger self, and advises him to purchase Starbuck Jones #1. Old Funky then steps into a phone booth to phone home; he awakens in a present-day hospital to realize it was all a dream.

July 19-August 1, 2010
Funky recovers from injuries suffered in the car crash. We never learn what became of the driver of the other car .

August 2-8, 2010
Rachel and Wally, co-workers at Montoni’s, bond over pizza and he asks her out.

August 9-15, 2010
Tony Montoni arrives in Florida earlier than usual, to help other “snowbirds” assist with cleaning up the aftermath of the BP oil disaster.

August 16-22, 2010
Rachel drags Wally to the county fair; the crowds and noise overstimulate him to a near panic attack. She calms him down with some fried pickles.

August 23-28, 2010
Funky persuades Les to have his “book launch” party at–where else?–Montoni’s.

August 30 -Sept. 5, 2010
Les summons Cayla and Susan to Montoni’s; not to resolve their ongoing love triangle, but to get their input on the launch party and cover art for Les’ book. The week ends with Batiuk preaching at us through his characters about the importance of “art”.

Sept. 5-11, 2010
Still recovering from his accident, Funky becomes bored with sitting around the house. He drives himself to the junkyard for a final farewell to his wrecked PT Cruiser.

Sept. 12-18, 2010
Cayla unveils her new look: “dreadlocks” intended to get her noticed by Les.

Sept. 19-26, 2010
We follow Funky on his daily visit to his Dad at the Bedside Manor nursing home.

Sept. 27-Oct. 2, 2010
Rachel shows up at Wally’s door with a basket of goodies and her portfolio for a “stay-date”.

Oct. 10-17, 2010
Among the “runners” in the Lisa’s Legacy race are Mr. and Mrs. Funky Winkerbean.

Oct. 18 – Nov. 6, 2010
Les embarks on a book tour and conducts a book signing at Montoni’s. Post-book signing, Annie informs her client that the Today Show wants him. The festivities conclude with Les sharing a park bench with his “favorite girl”, the ghost of Lisa.

Dec 6-26, 2010
The most absurdly plotted book tour ever takes Les from San Diego to New York to Houston, where he get a mysterious phone call on the White Courtesy Phone at the airport. The person on the phone claims to be Lisa, who pleads with Les not to get on the plane. Summer and Cayla wait at home for Les, who arrives late but safely. Turns out there was a problem with the plane, and when Les ignored Lisa’s phone warning, Lisa then called in a bomb threat, forcing Les to change planes.

Like this:

One response to “2010”

Simply wish to say your article is as amazing. The clarity
in your post is simply spectacular and I can assume you’re an expert on this
subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep
up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.