I don't think that table was originally in that picture. If we use anamorphic satellite video editing technology, we can remove the false image of the table and reconstruct the original image using an algorithmic image processing algorithm.

*Runs the image through his magical software*

See! It's really a picture of a Misjay! But wait!

*Runs the new image through the software*

Aha! It's a life size Bea Aurthur cutout! That sneaky poster almost had us buying it!

"Write what you know" proves screen writers do not know much more than CL posters.

But, I've never had much luck with image enhancing text programs--though, one might be wanted for 'descriptive text captioning' programs.

Like, "Scene pans to outdoor iron table" is improved to "Sparky swiveled the camera, just then realizing the carpet was a horrifying rust color, so when he snapped the photo of the cheap aluminum end table, not only did the have a twitch, the thought of rust engaged his ferrophillia complusion so overwhelmingly, all he could think of, all he could express, was couched in his unnatural desires for cast iron. Once again, this would lead to Sparky's downfall."

If CSI has taught me anything, it's that you can endlessly zoom in on a picture and get a perfectly clear image. Even from a convenience store security camera to zoom in on a suspect's reflection on a spoon on a counter.

Also, women always put on their best makeup, jewelry, and heels to go inspect a dead body in a dumpster.

What is truly remarkable is that you can zoom in on a picture with crappy resolution and it *clears up* as you zoom in!

Tangentially related, Bones is rapidly becoming the TV show I love to hate. The hubby and I just finished watching season 4 and he picked up season 5 on DVD and I shudder to think what new offences against common sense and reality will be committed. Also, Stephen Fry was awesome and the kid they got to become the "psychiatrist" on the "team" should be marooned on a tropical island for a few years to grow up and become less of a pasty-faced squishball.

My wife and I mourned the loss of Stephen fry from the show, no idea why they got rid of him as he was one of the only reasons worth watching it for (well in my perspective anyway). I could listen to him talk all day.

Gonna give EB a bunch of doors for this one, 'cuz she's right about the flash. [corey] The dark shadow to the right of the table is probably due to a bright light source just out of the left side of the photo. (Think large window or patio door.) The shadow to the left of the legs is due to the camera flash. The shadow is not as strong as the one caused by the main light, and the light from the flash is not strong enough to overcome the shadow from the bright source. [/corey]

In other words, the photographer futzed the lighting up in the picture....

Two slices, please, Lola. I can honestly say that today I was not anxiously waiting for the update, and nervously looking at the clock to see if I had time for one more refresh before going off to my gainful employment. Nope, not today. Cause it's my regular day off. My last one, due to operational necessity. Gosh, I hate that phrase.

9 am EDT is 7 am for me... I used to get up at 8:20 to leave the house (with a husband and a baby) at 8:40. But since I started working out, I have seen "7:00 am" on my clock a loooot more than I'm used to. So, I check in really quick, and then again when I'm done, and when I get to work the real snark begins :-p

And I have CJ beat... I'm up at 2 to get to work by 3:30 AM.
But I'm usually home before 10 (am)
I figure since I'm not a morning person, I might as well work those hours and then have the afternoon for free time/ working on art.

Cool, thought this was about to devolve into the Monty Pythou geezers' sketch where eventually every one grew up and the woke up before the went to bed, and did not even had a hole next to the raod to live in, as they were still building the road while fending of mastadons and the like.

That's right folks, step right up! Get your tickets to the showdown of the century! It's Llamanun vs Pedanticles[sic]! Who will reign supreme?
Tickets are $5 each or two for $20 (also accepting cash only barters or vintage [ERROR: ITEM NOT FOUND].

Isaac, I entirely sympathize with the twich you get when second-person singular forms are abused. There are games and movies galore that just make me want to visit the creators with a flame-thrower and a nice chart of conjugations and diagrams of proper pronoun usage.

That said, the poetry was inspiring and so I am pleased to overlook a slip (though I did mentally re-write it).

Like the sonnet. I think people would still get the shakespearean reference even with the correct "thou" for "thee," though.

Also, I know I'm late getting to this post, but isn't the roman numeral incorrect in the sonnet title? I think the first two "X"s are probably meant to be "C"s - as written it's not a Roman number. Unless there's some joke in there I'm missing.

It's ok. I spent too much time in upstate NY (with Mudsy and drmk, apparently) and I still say "baaah-gl" instead of "bay-gl." (And sometimes it's "I'm going to get the mahl." instead of "I'm going to get the mail.") Silly Raahchester.

Also, I could have sworn it was Mudsy who lived in Webster, and had a brain fart about it being west of Rochester instead of east. But my google-fu is failing, and I can't find any of the places I KNOW were mentioned in the conversation. Ah well...

Can I just go back to bed, and call redos for later? Also, I'm just going to go ahead and blame everything on the ghetto, sticky-keyed Mac keyboard I have to use. That's what I get for spilling my caffeine in my nice one... -_-

AR, when people think anything north of Yonkers is "upstate," I get a little cross, having actually lived upstate (but not even North Country). Of course, Sing Sing is considered upstate (e.g. "gettin' sent upstate"), and Ossining is in Westchester, so it's hard to argue against it. But to me, the idea that anything north of the Bronx borough line is upstate is, well, myopic.
/geography rant*

I grew up two miles from the PA* border and I'm from upstate. Of course, by now Bronx is probably upstate.
Grampdaddy: You already gave Chili away in a previous post. I know Charlotte is shar-LOT. I'll add Medina to the list of odd pronounciations.
*we never said Pennsylvania either, just pee-ay.

Well my area had cows (about 15 miles outside of town), the ratio of Catholic to Jewish was 50/50, politically VERY democratic (huge Italian and Irish area), and we had one radio station that played country (NYC had several last time I was there). I'm not trying to pick a fight, I simply think the term "Upstate NY" is silly because "up" is not a term I've seen on a map. Besides, to the other states, we're all New Yorkers, and that means we are mean, unstable and bad drivers

In my neck of the woods, structural steel is "ARN," specifically "Raid ARN" (for the color of the galvinitic paint coating usually applied at the steel manufactory; but also ecompasses structural steel in zinc oxide coating, which is a pale yellow-green to sage color).

The golf club, though is often an "EYE-ron" (when not referred to simply numerically).

Square, black top with silver legged table was sick..sick and tired of small round outdoor brown table getting all the attention.

It had started innocently enough when round had been bought at the fancy furniture store after square's owner finally finished college and landed a decent job.

But then...slowly, subtly, things began to change.

At parties, the guests were always using round for drinks and canapes, remarking on round's glowing brown-ness. Eventually, square table was relegated to the bathroom-of all places! There square sat in the corner, covered in towels and magazines, suffering in silence and darkness. It's no wonder square snapped.

What was wrong with putting a drink on a square table? Why didn't anyone like square any more? What had square done?

Day by miserable day square waited for an opportunity to get rid of the smug round table.

And then, one day, her owner set her in the middle of the living room floor, and after giving her a swipe with the ratty dishtowel, her picture was taken.

Later, left in the middle of the room, square table could observe her owner at the computer...she was typing something. Square could tell it was a classified ad for...for...oh NO!! It was for HER! Owner was selling beautiful square table!

This could not be! Hadn't she been there, since the 70's, never complaining about the rings left behind by wet beer bottles? Or the Cheetos smashed into her surface? How about the time owner's boyfriend sat on square? Hadn't she stood up to it all with grace and dignity?

And now...this...the ultimate betrayal...

Square fumed...and as the owner's cell phone rang in the bedroom and she went to answer it, square saw her chance....

You people should be ashamed of yourselves. This is clearly a case of the poster accidentally uploading the wrong picture. Every time I come here, everyone is so filled of *interruption* hold on a minute.......*mumbling in the background*.......... Who's Matt?

Hey, after a week or so of 99-107º highs, it cooled down to 95º today--practically a cold front.
Not that it has rained since June, other than in hit-or-miss fashion. So, all the grass is a lovely khaki color, the tree leaves are wilted. Any drier and the animal shelter is going to run of flea powder for the fish.

I almost wish it was that hot here. If it was, my car would have gone into gear this morning and I could have gotten MrEB to work on time -_- When it gets down to the 50s or so at night, the car gets grouchy in the mornings...

NMN, we are inordinately fond of obscure pop references. I don't think I have heard of Blernball but Fizzbin sounds like something from MASH. I belive that it was played by Hawkeye and BJ with bits of incomplete games they happened to have around.

Hawkeye actually plays this with BJ, in the Season 6 episode, 'Your Hit Parade'. Hawkeye tells Radar, "Bishops are worth three jacks, checkers are wild, and you have to be 21 or over to open," and Radar declines to play because, "Whenever I lose, I always like to know why."

When testing for Kindergarten, my son correctly identified all the shapes and colors put before him. At what point after high school do people forget the basics? Because, I think I'm just going to have my son in school for the rest of his life....

I may degrade myself enough to play WoW, but I have never ( and probably never will) played Farmville. Then again, that may be because I don't belong to Facebook.....or Myspace....or even Twitter. Wow, I bet I'm the only person in my generation in the United States who doesn't belong to those sites. Oops, I'm rambling. Sorry.

There is a person close to me who has felt the need, for Lord knows what reason, to make me feel as though I am a complete imbecile who was raised by other, more neurotic, imbeciles. I wrote something recently and said it was "simply verse" and he proceeded to correct me, saying that it must be a KIND of verse. Being already broken down from many years of this correction, I simply chalked it up to one more example of my inferior education which ,up until I met him, I had thought was more than adequate.

But I AM RIGHT! I do write in verse, plain and simple. Next time he smiles at me like I'm too stupid to know better, I will send him to you, dear Isaac.

This little piggy went to Craigslist...
This little piggy stayed home...
This little piggy got french tips**...
This little piggy got clear coat**...
And this little piggy was up for rent all the way home!

*Regardless of what you type, I will always picture it not as a collection of toenails, but as one of severed toes.
**No idea what these terms mean, so corey away if you feel the need.

Well since you asked...
[corey] Clear coat is the finish that is added after paint has been applied to an automobile. It's what makes the car shiny and what allows one to buff out light scratches with a mild solvent. Back in Grampdaddy's days clear coat was an option where as now all cars have it. This is why you may see an older car with a matte finish, no clear coat.[/corey]
I believe you were looking for top coat, which is a clear nail polish that is applied to painted nails for added durability, or to bare nails for shine.

Now gather round and hear the tale of a table so brown:
The legend lives on of the wood table so brown
And of the roundness they did square and fool me
The table, it is said, never was very red
When twas built out of kit for my TV.

With wrought iron frame – not evident the aim
Of a builder who’s more fond of plastic
To build tubes so plain and to paint them the same
And then top with brown wood so fantastic

‘Cause brown wood was black as a vampire bat
So as not to give away its true colors
And round was the square shape it had was that
It couldn’t be one or twould be duller

So now our tale ends the table for sale
And the seller who should have been fettered
Both shapes and wood, and two colors it failed
To sell on Craiglist to those who knew better.

My appologize to Gordon Lightfoot and his "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."

The majority of the songs on Gord's Gold have 4 or 5 stars in my iTunes, so there. I'm having an urge to list all the other extraordinarily embarassing singers that I love to listen to in order to prove that Lightfoot really isn't that bad but I think I will spare us all the shame.

Yeah, coffee houses and their pompous size names bug the crap out of me. Especially big chains like Starbucks who don't have true baristas working there anyway.

I make a point to call them Small/Medium/Large. First, because I'm a pig-headed jerk who likes to drag the more uppity employees into pointless arguments about the naming conventions (Specifically that "Grande" means large and that Vente is a made up word by Starbucks), and second because...

You know there really is only the one reason.

(At small coffee houses where they have actual baristas working there I do acknowledge that they have some right to be pretentious.)

To be fair, tall means medium and there is a small size, the "short" which can be ordered even though it's not on the menu anymore.
I like the word venti. When people ask me what size I wear, I tell them venti.

Aha! You're onto something, Camille. Starbucks coffee is indeed both tall and small, it is also round and brown. And in my experience, if the Starbucks has a patio, it is outside and has iron furniture.

Clearly, our Sparky was posting this ad from a Starbucks patio, waiting for the morning coffee to kick in, which it didn't quite. Hence describing the beverage and surroundings rather than the purported item.

Perhaps the one adjective refers to the diameter of the table and the other refers to the height. Or perhaps I am giving Sparky too much credit given the discrepancies between the picture and the description.

Then again, perhaps Sparky figured that people might not be able to figure out what a table was and so this picure is merely a representative of the class "table" though not meant to be the particular table for sale. From the description, then, we replace the various attributes of the pictured table with wrought iron, apparently brown in color, and tall in stature.

Moira, welcome to the Gives Sparky Too Much Credit Club! Membership in the GSTMCC includes unlimited optimism, daily seconds of Humanity is NOT doomed! (Ala Eddie Izzard in Mystery Men)and discounts at the Paved with Gold thrift store.

[corey]
In military nomenclature, the Brits are a bit anal about using the form "Mk".

US usage (largely only USN now) seems to follow a "caps locked in excell" sort of rule, and only ever use "MK".
There are some NSNs out there in other forms, and since that employe now does something else entirely, it is the one and only way to scribe the item, even if "mK-nn Mod y" looks dumb.
[/corey]

In the spirit of general fact and snarklessness, I would like to point out that this table is sold as a set of two by a giant, non-union, soul-killing retailer who shall remain nameless (but whose name rhymes with Schmall-Mart) for $20. They are made of plastic and flakeboard.

How do I know this? My mother, whose interior design tastes potentially include framed velvet Jesus wall hangings and those glass clocks with the 3D waterfalls in motion, bought me these. They have been relegated to my kids' rooms and precariously hold a maximum of two hard cover books and an alarm clock. Anything more than that, they completely fall apart.

Maybe the square table is the bait to catch the round table? You leave the poor square table out on the lawn and when the round table approaches it to see if it is food or a mate, you throw a net over it?

The Mountain Square Black Table, growing increasingly rare due to human encroachment, is now only found in this one particular stretch of the Andes. Here you can see them grazing with the French Prudential Cabinets and the small Ottoms.

But not all is peaceful in these mountains.

A Brown Wooded Round Table. An ambush hunter specialized in using the rugged terrain to it's advantage, the Round Table uses rocky outcroppings to mask its approach to the herd. And the chase is on! The superior speed of the round table is it's only advantage over the endurance of the Square Tables, it must make the kill quickly or this meal will get away. And, with a quick jump the Round table digs its wrought iron supports into the flanks of its prey. The hunt is over, and the round table will have plenty of food for the next two weeks.

I'm really quite stunned. It is late in the day, I've spent it with fifty - 50 - first-graders (yes, you read that correctly). and I am the only person who has noted that the table IS NOT A SQUARE. As you all will recall from postings of rugs and artwork, squares are 5 x 7, 3 x 5, or some-such. To suggest that I am disappointed in your powers of observation would be a mild understatement, but I will forgive your oversight because you have not spent the entire day with 50 first-graders......

50? Sounds like a big job. But I trust you to turn them from innocent little children into the line-crossing daemons they will become by fifth grade anyway properly mold their impressionable young minds into those of respectable citizens.

Being a college student in my first apartment, I have no shame in admitting that I have two of those tables.
1. It is from KMart.
2. It is barely 2 feet tall.
3. There is no iron, but silver hollow plastic tubes.
4. We bought the two for $5.00 each.

:/ Even if it's the wrong picture uploaded... Why would you not double check? Very very different....

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