Philadelphia MFT

“Nobody’s perfect, and our fondest memories of anyone are of the amusing ways they proved it.”- Robert Brault.

Everyday we all prove that we’re far from perfect. We’re full of flaws and quirks that our partners either find endearing or annoying. Accepting our own flaws can be hard, but it’s sometimes even harder to accept the flaws of our romantic partners. As people we all bring good and bad traits into a relationship. Falling in love with someone’s good traits is easy work. Accepting the bad is the true test. Here are a few tips that will help you accept your partner’s flaws,quirks, and habits:

Self Acceptance: Your partner isn’t the only person with flaws and quirks in this relationship. You have them too. Just as you have to adjust, so does your partner. Give up your desire to control your partner’s actions. Recognize that you and your partner are probably going through the same struggle.Sometimes the easiest way to start accepting your partner is to start accepting and acknowledging your own flaws.

Be Aware: Knowing the difference between normal flaws and bigger problem is essential. The easiest way to tell the difference between the two, is the impact that it has on you. Normal flaws, quirks, and habits typically elicit annoyance. If your partner’s flaws leave you feeling physically and emotionally abused then there’s a bigger problem that needs to be addressed. Those aren’t the type of flaws you should accept...at all.

Remember the Good: It’s easy to get caught up in all of your partner’s annoying traits but you can’t forget about the good things. Think about these good traits often, especially when you’re in the midst of being annoyed with your partner. Learn to put things in perspective.

Accepting your partner’s quirks, flaws, and habits can be a big task. You’re both two different people so learn to focus on what makes you unique and find the beauty in your differences. This Topic of the Week was written by Malyka Cardwell, MFT