I think there are a lot of us like you describe as not having male quality's " male traights (hunting,fishing,beerdrinking... just being one of the boys)"I don't even watch sports, racing, wrestling, etc. I enjoy art, music, quiet time, laughter. So yes I feel that way you feel many times. I have walked away from guys at work for acting certain ways that stereotypical males act. This is just the way I am and always will be. I don't try to be one of the guys anymore, at least not the ones I don't particularly like their quality's.I do like to go fishing sometimes, it's very relaxing. Sometime I like catching them too. lol

I used alcohol and drugs to hide my feelings from csa for many years, just seemed to make things worse in the long run. wish you all the best with AA or any other group you choose. There are alternatives especially if you are in a big city.Here is a good list of recovery programs. Never hurts to look around before you commit to a program of recovery.http://www.help4all.net/links.htm

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