3rd pregnancy of a plus-sized 20-something (Anonymous)

onWednesday, October 29, 2008

I’ve never been very skinny. The only point I can remember being so was when I was 13 and 5’6″ and maybe 90-100lbs. After that I plumed big time. At the age of 15 almost 16 I started having really bad pains that made it hard to walk, it was found that I had ovarian cysts, a month later I stopped having a menstrual cycle. When I turned 16 I was put on birth control pills to regulate my cycles and help with the cysts. In that time frame, age 15-16, I packed on around 30-40lbs and was around 170 at 5’7″. Not horribly overweight but still higher.

I was on birth control pills from 16 to just after 18 when my last pack ran out(June 2005). My OB/Gyn said that I may not be able to get pregnant, so part of me though why do I need pills then. In July 2005 I had a cyst burst, while at work, I crawled under my desk and cried till my boyfriend and boss found me and my boyfriend took me to my mom’s house, and she took me to the doctors. A month after that I found out I was pregnant. Just by chance too. I had a friend that we knew was pregnant, she had to be she was more then 2weeks late, but she refused to take a test unless some one did with her. Her older sister had never been with anyone and I was the only one around, so I bought her a 2 pack, I went first, looked and threw it out all with in seconds, she peed and handed it to me not wanting to look. Hers instantly was positive. I went back somewhere between 5-10minutes later and got mine out of the trash, to my shock it was positive.

Over the next few days I took 2 more tests each positive. Then August 12th, 2005 I started bleeding. I went to the ER but there was nothing that could be done, we’d lost the baby all within a week of finding out. It was hard, I was only 18, living in the not best conditions with my Fiance(no house), but in away I think it was a slight blessing even though I still cry about it to this day. My cycle never came back after that. My OB gave me a shot of progesterone in October and it started a small cycle, light bleeding for 2 days, nothing then spotting the day after, I’d never had light periods in my life so it was odd. My Fiance and I had an appointment set in November to get the depo shot, but I had to have a cycle first. Instead of going to get the depo shot, it turned into my first prenatal visit of sorts. I found out in early November 2005 that I was pregnant again. Sadly we were planning a move to Texas where my then fiance’s family lives so I didnt’ get a real prenatal appointment.

The move to Texas didn’t last, we were there from Mid December to early February. I was horridly sick, severe HG morning sickness, I couldn’t even keep water down and was in the ER a few times in Texas. I also missed my mom too much. So we moved back to Idaho in February. And I got my first real parental appointment at around 18 weeks. It was such a relief to be able to go to the doctors if needed. We found out just 10days before my 19th birthday that we were having a boy(March 2006) to the joy of both of us. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes in late April 2006, which is partly why I had been so sick before. My blood pressure started going up too in late May early June, and became Pregnancy Induced Hypertension, and was being watched for pre-e.

My son, Seamus was born on July 18th, 2006. I was induced at 39weeks 5days because of the GD and PIH and he was born just barley at 39weeks 6days (10:12pm). He had a little stay in the incubator for jaundice and we got to come home on July 21st.

In September 2006 I had Mirena IUD placed. It was ok except for it caused me to gain 25lbs in a month. The weight gain made me mad sense I was already way past my prepregnancy weight and thought I’d actually get under 200lbs. I struggled with my weight over the next 2yrs. From November 2007 to May 2008 I lost 20lbs of that weight (I went from 200lbs pre IUD to 225 after, then to 250 a few months later) but it wasn’t much. In May 2008 I had my IUD removed in hopes it would help me to loose more weight. I had bleeding (not really a cycle) from May 17th to the 20th and slight spotting on the 21st. That was the last time I had real bleeding. I had some spotting in early July but it wasn’t any more then what could lightly be seen on toilet paper. I was getting frustrated in late July early August sense it had been almost 90days sense I had any type of bleeding. I went to the clinic they ran tests for thyroid problems which came back normal, and the doc just said it was PCOS a term I’ve herd many times in regards to me. They did a pregnancy test on August 1st just to be sure. Then told me it was negative and that I’d need medical help to get pregnant again, much like the progesterone with my son. They gave me a script for it and my husband and I decided we’d fill it but not use it till December.

One thing had been on my mind though the whole time. How sore my breasts were. I had a digital test lying around from when my IUD was taken out and I decided sense we were going to be trying any time soon that I’d use the test to get it out of the house. I peed and put the lid on it and set it down. I picked it up a couple seconds later expecting to see “Not Pregnant”…..thats not what it said…it said “Pregnant” I freaked, my 2yr old son was in there with me and was confused why mommy was being weird. My husband was still asleep and I took the test to him and shoved it in his face and woke him up, he laughed! I didn’t believe it so I made him buy me another test, took it and it was also positive right away(line test this time) it was a shocker (all this August 17th, 2008). I went to the doctors 2 weeks later sense we didnt’ know how far along I was and found out I was 6weeks 2days, and due April 19th, 2009.

So far things are going ok this time around, I haven’t been puking near as bad as with my son, and actually its getting better at this point, 12weeks 4days. I’m having to have my Gestational Diabetes testing done between 17-18weeks this time sense I was on insulin with my son, and they are watching me closely for pre-e this time. So far so good.

I really wanted to show some pictures of me, the not skinny plus sized, 21yr old mommy thats pregnant, and really you can’t tell because of my gut. I want ladies to see that not everyone is small :)

I too am a plus sized mommy of four boys. I am so glad you shared your story and pictures…I was beginning to become discouraged with this website with all the very skinny and gorgeous women complaining about how terrible they looked after pregnancy and birth (stretch marks! OH NO! and yet they have prefect flat tummies).

Congratulations on your beautiful family and for sharing here. It has made my day, truly, to finally see someone who looks more like me!

Thank you for sharing your story. My body looks very similar to yours, and I struggle with my own body image every day. After three children, the “flap” of skin that hangs down is just… huge. It is comforting to know that I am not the only one who looks this way, and I hope that some day I can look at myself and love who I am, despite what my body looks like. Congrats on your children!

I am a plus sized mommy too- of two year old twin boys. Wouldn’t change it for the world. My stomach had that flatness to it like yours did. I didn’t have perfectly round belly. Congrats on your new pregnancy!

Thank you for sharing! Its so hard to find brave women like you! I am (and have always been) plus sized and am now 20 weeks pregnant with baby number one. I know that there are more plus sized pregnancies but it certainly helps to see it! Thanks again! And Congratulations!

Thanks so much. I never took pictures until a week or so before our fist daughter was born, and even that was because a friend MADE me do it (practically dragged me out of the house, and there we were 2, 8 months along mammas taking pictures). I was suppose to have weight loss surgery but we found out we are going to have a baby instead. I think, when I’m farther along… maybe I’ll put my picture up, maybe that would ‘let me accept it, and be more ok’ with being so heavy and pregnant.

I just want to say that your photos almost made me do a double take…I thought they might be my own! I am 7 months pregnant and that is about how I look. With clothes on…I don’t feel too bad..but I can’t help but worry what others think of my body. I had 4 previous pregnancies and they have definitely taken their toll and given me the marks of motherhood. Thank you for being real.

Thank you for being brave and beautiful… I don’t know that I’d have the courage to post my pics – but I’m encouraged by seeing yours. I’m 5’11” and size 26 in jeans. Right now, I’m at 17 weeks, and I can feel my baby bump, even if I can’t see it. I always thought I couldn’t get pregnant because of my weight … seems like Fate showed us both otherwise.

Thank you so much for sharing, I’m 5’9 and I weigh in at 250. I’m 17 weeks pregnant and it’s still hard for other people to tell I am pregnant. It’s comforting to see someone elses body looks like mine. You have inspired me to take my first set of pregnancy photos.

Thank you so much for posting this! I feel the exact same way, and I am axniously waiting for the rest of my tummy to appear. I know have a good idea of what I could look like when I am further along. Thanks again!

I think you body is beautiful, this is almost how i look after 2 pregnancy’s.. my first was almost 7 years go, and my last was 7 months ago with twins.
I love my body because it has given birth to my 3 healthy beautiful boys.

You have been through such a lot but sound positive. Your body will recover somewhat in time – young skin can be amazingly supple and you have lovely skin. But remember those of us who are not stick thin usually age well as we have flesh and not creases. Please some of you more voluptuous ladies post your pics – I did at my mature years. See Postpartum – 21 and 25 years later. I did not put the weight on until my 40s, but always knew I would end up like my mum – but I am not her and I celebrate being me.

Thank you for sharing your beauty with us, both inner and outer, and your son’s, as well! You’re both gorgeous!

To the first commenter, Kris: having looked through many posts on this site, I certainly can appreciate your sense of irony, but honey, we’re all in the same boat. All of us, skinny or not-skinny, are victims of the same societal pressure to conform to a certain body image, and to judge ourselves by the degree to which we do. We analyze every millimeter of fat, every arc of curvature, obsess over every perceived “flaw”. And when your body changes as much as it does as rapidly as it does with pregnancy, and so much of your self-image is tied up in your body image, it can be quite a shock, no matter how “perfect” you are.

It’s easy to be jealous of those who are closer to some artificially-imposed standard of “beauty”, but that’s exactly what it is: artificial. We are *all* beautiful. When you compare yourself to them, you’re buying into the same lie they are, comparing themselves to the airbrushed, digitized, idealized “beauty” the ad agencies and media thrust upon us.

Near the end of “The Cooler”, when Natalie is crying about the cuts on her face, and Bernie says, “Hey. You look in the mirror, you don’t like what you see, don’t believe it. Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you’re ever gonna need.” I *love* that line! And that’s how it should be for all of us: let the eyes of those who love us be the only mirror that matters.

You look very similar to me, body-wise. I also had one large (ping pong ball size) ovarian cyst at age 16. I vividly remember the pain, and not being able to walk some days. Your story is very inspiring! You’ve been through a lot at such a young age, and seem to have such a great attitude about it all. Your son is beautiful, and I imagine your new baby (who should be here by now!) is just as gorgeous. :)

I really think that more women should do this. I struggle day to day with my body. I feel fat and ugly. Now that I see your body I feel normal. I hope this comment doesnt seem rude. I mean that almost every NORMAL woman today looks like this. We all need to be brave and strong like you. Thanks so much. BTW looking at the photos I though I was looking in the mirror

Sister! It’s amazing how many “twins” we have in these photos! Kimberly hit it right on the head when she says “almost every NORMAL woman today looks like this”! I, too, thought I was looking in the mirror (the mirror of 30 years ago!). Your scars will fade. You are beautiful ANY way you look because you’re a Mother. You carried within you LIFE! Your son is beautiful, isn’t he? Where do you think he got it? Always remember that we women come in all shapes and sizes, but NONE OF US comes airbrushed! Men who believe what they see in the media is “normal” couldn’t blow their noses if their brains were dynamite!

Thank you for sharing your story! I think you are a beautiful and very strong woman. I am a 30 year old newly single mother of 5 kids. I had never battled with my weight until my last child. I gained a lot of weight and had multiple medical problems – I literally was pronounced dead on the table during an emergency c-section and they told my sister (the only one present at the time) to expect the worst when the baby was delivered. God had other plans though and my youngest child is now happy and healthy and 7months old. I feel guilty that I am so depressed about my weight – I appreciate you sharing your story.

Thank-you so much for sharing your story and pictures. I’ve not had any kids as of yet. I’m 21 years old and weigh in at around 300lbs give or take and me and my husband have been trying for a baby. I know it does take time but so many people have told me that I’m not going to get pregnant because of my weight and I am worried that they may be right. We both want a baby so much, hope both of our weights isn’t going to inflict that ..your pictures look so much of myself and I’m not even pregnant.

thanks for posting!!!!!it is great to c some mommies who r my size instead of some of the much smaller mommies saying they r fat. I understand everyone has body issues but if ur waist is under 40inches around and u were under size 14 they r not big. THANK YOU. I PLAN ON PSTING MINE SOON

Thank you SO much for sharing…I’m pregnant with my third (a surprise after 2 that were the result of fertility treatment), and was struggling with my weight before getting pregnant this time…thought i was “finally” going to lose that weight, when we found out some pregnant. I’m 5’5, and weigt 209 right now. (10 weeks preg)You’ve made my day.

OMG!!! Looking at your pictures is like looking at myself in the mirror!! My body is EXACTLY shaped like yours from top to bottom. My boys are 9 and 5 (on 5/30) and my husband loves me just the way I am. I am not happy with myself so I have decided to try to improve my health for ME. I loved reading your story. Bless you and your family!

I am a man, I love your photos, and not in perverted way. So found this looking up “plus size women bellies”
Because my lady is sooooo insecure of her body, so i was looking for photos of women that I find attractive to show her the types of “figure” that I find attractive. I love a woman with some “pudge” to her belly, love thighs with no gap, and breast that aren’t perky.. I think a woman’s body that has saggy breast and some jiggle in thighs and belly are beautiful.. My favorite thing on her is the traces of cellulite on her thighs (especially when her legs are crossed and those “dimples” are there) once again not being a “perv”.. I think your body is amazing and praise you for showing women that aren’t boney to be proud of the body they have… If a woman don’t have something to hold on to then I feel for them… Huge praise on the photos. Keep up the high spirits. Much love