Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:50 am Post subject: For those of you who share a bed/room

Hi Everyone,

I hope I'm posting this in the right forum.

As long as I've been reading one of my favourite things to do is read in bed before going to sleep at night. Since I've moved in with my now husband I've had to cut out that part of my reading because he can not sleep with the lamp on (however, he can fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the day with the T.V. blaring go figure).

Anyhoo, I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions of things to do that might let me get that part of my reading back. I've tried a few different types of book lights but these don't light up both pages of the book sufficiently and I find myself moving it around to read and the little book lights still bother him while he's trying to sleep. I also have an ebook reader I keep by the bed to read but I don't enjoy the e-books as much as real books and quite often I want to read the book I'm currently reading as opposed to starting a new e-book.

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated it's been over two years now and sitting downstairs alone on the couch into the wee hours of the morning to finish a book is just not the same as curling up in bed with one.

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:57 am Post subject: Re: For those of you who share a bed/room

Danielle B wrote:

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated it's been over two years now and sitting downstairs alone on the couch into the wee hours of the morning to finish a book is just not the same as curling up in bed with one.

Sorry, Danielle, I'll not be of any help here, since my ideal conditions for reading are just totally the opposite of yours. I have a spot on the couch that's mine alone. And when I read, I prefer to be alone, with few distractions. The bed is probably the most uncomfortable position and place for me for reading, except when I'm in a hotel with limited alternatives.

Good luck in getting suggestions from others. I'll be interested to hear them.

Have you tried waiting until he is asleep, then turning on a light and reading? Personally, I don't have this problem, as my husband can sleep through lights, motorcycle revs, thunderstorms, etc., but that's one option._________________Reality has a well-known liberal bias.

Have you tried waiting until he is asleep, then turning on a light and reading? Personally, I don't have this problem, as my husband can sleep through lights, motorcycle revs, thunderstorms, etc., but that's one option.

I've tried that but he usually wakes up and if he doesn't wake up he actually stares me down in his sleep. No joke he will roll over pick himself up on his elbows and "stare" at me (only his eyes are still closed) while blowing air out of his nose really loudly (like a bull) and have no recollection of it in the morning. It freaks me out and I can't concentrate on my book so I've given up trying that.

Thanks for the suggestion though and Tee I'm totally jealous I wish I could just stay downstairs and read but it's just not the same for me.

I've tried that but he usually wakes up and if he doesn't wake up he actually stares me down in his sleep. No joke he will roll over pick himself up on his elbows and "stare" at me (only his eyes are still closed) while blowing air out of his nose really loudly (like a bull) and have no recollection of it in the morning. It freaks me out and I can't concentrate

LOL, I'm sorry for laughing at your pain, but that is funny. Sounds like he's not really awake. Maybe you could pack up pillows on his side (if he sleeps on his side) to block out the light. As for those reading lights...I went through about 3 of them when my daughter was young. I'd sometimes sit in the comfy chair in her room until she went to sleep and ended up reading with a little reading light long after she had fallen asleep. I think I bought all three at Barnes and Noble or another bookstore. They've probably improved them over the years. The only complaint....I'd have to replace batteries like crazy. Good luck!

If he still can't sleep ... ask yourself why he's trying to control your reading habits. After all, you're right next to him, leg to leg, in the same bed ... with HIM.

LOL I wouldn't call him a control freak but there are two things he loves and is passionate about his sleep and his cars. Asking him to forgo his sleep would be similar to him asking me to keep my books in boxes in the basement. If I really wanted to dig my heels in I would just go to bed and read he wouldn't be able to do too much about it but I do respect the fact that he needs his sleep (he works rotating shifts so his schedule is always changing and when he's on days he has to get up at 4:45 a.m. to go to work) which is why I'm trying to find a way for him to sleep but still let me read.

The eye shades though... I never thought of that. I'm not sure where I would buy them but I think I'll pop out this weekend and have a look around. I may check out some more reading lights the next time were in the states the only once I've tried are the few models here in Canada at chapters but they don't do much for me.

I had exactly the same problem for years (fifteen of them, to be exact) and also tried every sort of book light with the same results you described. But just the other day I finally found something that works! Someone gave it to me to use for a performance, a battery operated light that clips to a music stand and is broad enough to cover two pages. It's actually supposed to be a picture light but I clip it to my bedside table (which took a bit of figuring out but was worth it) and use the dim setting, which is plenty bright to read by. The only times I've used it the dh was already asleep, but other lights have always woken him up so at least in this house, it's a winner.

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject: Re: For those of you who share a bed/room

Danielle B wrote:

because he can not sleep with the lamp on (however, he can fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the day with the T.V. blaring go figure).

LOL, does my husband have a long lost twin in Canada?

The eyeshades might help, though in our case it didn't, because he claimed not being able to fall asleep with the elastic strings of the eyeshades behind his ears. Fortunately, there is a very low tech solution: fold a big handkerchief into a thick rectangle and place it on his eyes. Problem solved.

I use eyeshade because my room gets a lot of light early in the morning. If you get some make sure can inspect them first. Some I found are way to heavy, it's too much pressure on my face that I could never wear them and some the elastic is so small that it is way to tight around your face.

Luckily for me, my dh is away from home 3 or 4 nights a week so I can read in bed if I want to. The other nights when he's home and I can't get to sleep and want to read, then I move to the sofa in the family room. I situate my pillows, stretch out and read until I get sleepy. Laying horizontal on the sofa is just as relaxing as being in bed. If you don't like the sofa, how about a lounging chair? Half of it is the prep work--getting the pillows just right along with the lighting to make you comfortable and in the mood to read.

My suggestion isn't thrifty, but it will work --- buy an ereader with a back light. I happily read in a pitch black room while my dh sleeps peacefully next to me. My only problem is making sure I'm not reading a very humorous book -- I've woken up my husband by laughing out loud.

My mother's favorite booklight came from WalMart, but I don't know the name of it (it comes in several colors). It is rather compact - squarish 3x3 or 4x4 - and made to hang round the neck, which she does when traveling. For home use, she goes to bed and rests it on her upper chest. It shines perfectly on both pages of her book.