Last week, Emma Thompson revealed that she had written a 'sex handbook' for her 13-year-old daughter to help guide her through the pitfalls of being a modern teenager.

The Oscar-winning actress explained she had come up with the idea because she was in a 'constant state of anxiety' due to of the vast pressures that young people are under today when it comes to sex, relationships and the internet.

It was a situation that mother Annabel Cole sympathised with. Even though she's always strived to be open about the 'birds and the bees' with her 14-year-old daughter Elsa, she knows there remains a vast array of subjects she still needs to tackle. Here, she writes her own 'sex handbook' for Elsa. So could it help your daughter too?

KEEP PRIVATE THINGS PRIVATE

Your private life should be private, not splashed over the internet like the late-night antics of Miley Cyrus.

To us oldies, it beggars belief that teens might even contemplate sending send pictures of their private parts over the phone; or share their intimate feelings with several hundred so-called 'friends' on Facebook or Tweet a comment about last night's date to your followers. In a world where these activities are often seen as 'normal', it's easy to forget that you do have a choice.

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Would you let someone read your diary? Why should your attitude to the internet be any different?

Posting something intimate online might seem like a good idea, at the moment you do itbut it has the potential to go from private to extremely public at the press of a button. The potential consequences of this are at best embarrassing, at worst very damaging. A good rule of thumb is: if you wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this with the whole schoolassembly, then don't share it electronically.

PORN IS NOT REAL LIFE

There seems to be quite a lot of confusion about this among young people like you at the moment. Porn is a form (if you like, and many people don't) of 'entertainment'. The people in porn films are paid actors.

On the birds and the bees: Emma Thompson has written a 'sex handbook' for her 13-year-old daughter Gaia

The danger is, teenagers - particularly boys I'm afraid - don't always get this, and they can develop some pretty unrealistic expectations of what real-life sex will be. An inexperienced boy who has watched a porn film will have about as accurate an idea of what real-life sex is like as a viewer of Keeping Up With The Kardashians will have of a day-to-day American family life.

Sex doesn't have to involve theatrical groaning and volcanic orgasms; it generally doesn't take place within two seconds of coming within sight of a man.

Some of the most intimate moments I have experienced are far removed from these artificial scenarios. Hard as it might be to imagine, successfully putting together an Ikea wardrobe can be as much an invitation to great sex as twerking.

IMAGE isn't everything

Everyone wants to look their best, but don't distort who you are in the process. Waxing, salon-perfect hair and push-up bras and a distinctly measurable thigh gap are part of an increasingly long list of apparent must-haves for teens , but, trust me, none of that will help you unless you feel confident inside.

I spent much of my teens counting calories and obsessing about the odd spot, but guess what - boys generally want to be with someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and is happy to go out for a burger without making everyone feel guilty in the process.

I cannot begin to imagine the pressure that teens are under today. Checking your Facebook status, whether you have had a 'like' on Instagram and posting seductive-looking selfies are now routine activities, carried out with deadly seriousness many times a day. It must feel as if the world is watching you and to some extent, it is.

But, when it comes to boys, you might be surprised to find out that they don't care as much about appearance as the online world might lead you to think.

DATES AREN'T FAIRY TALES

Dating can be a pretty grisly business, particularly when you are new to it, and often when you are not. The best preparation for dating is to abandon fairytale fantasies and prepare yourself for awkwardness, nervous chatting, deadly silence and possibly clumsy fumbling.

First kisses are generally not the earth-shattering experiences you might imagine alone at home in your bedroom.

Mine - with a gangly Italian boy at a teen disco in Cinderella Rockerfella's in Guildford - was a nasty mess of clashing teeth, blackheads and saliva flavoured with cheap cans of cola. The earth did not move, but I survived.

Don't be fooled by 'big talk' from your peer group. No teenager really knows what they are doing, although many people will try to convince you in no uncertain terms that they do.

At 14, I used to dread Monday mornings at school when a certain gang of girls would loudly relate their weekend exploits. I felt like a baby in comparison and felt pressurised into exaggerating some of my own behaviour, which I regret.

Retrospective regret: Your private life should be private, not splashed over the internet like the late-night antics of Miley Cyrus

And don't lie to get a guy. 'Yes, I love rugby; no better way to spend a Saturday afternoon.' 'The Matrix - my favourite movie of all time. What a coincidence!'

Or, as I once memorably lied to a potential beau: 'Rock climbing - been wanting to try that for ages!' Reality will always out - in my case quite spectacularly when, fully kitted out in professional gear, I failed even to hoist myself off the ground.

At best, like me, you will be setting yourself up for some serious embarrassment; at worst you run the risk of condemning yourself to some pretty unappealing down-time with your man.

Rejection will happen. It's awful and you will feel as if the world has ended. My first love left me to go back to his ex. Even now, it hurts and I still feel a little bit indignant - how could he prefer her to me? If you like someone, a little bit of them will stay with you forever.

NOT EVERYONE IS DOING IT

It's OK to wait and absolutely OK to say 'no'. There is so much talk about sex in the teen years among teens that you might feel as if you are the only one on the planet who isn't bedhopping on a nightly basis. You are not.

Experience has taught me that those who boast the loudest about sexual encounters, generally aren't doing it at all.

Nobody likes to feel left out, but remember it is your body and you should be in charge of what you do with it and whom you share it with.

Distorted view of reality: Boys who think porn accurately depicts sex are like those who think Keeping Up With the Kardashians is an accurate portrayal of day-to-day American family life

When I was in my teens one of our favourite topics of conversation at school was who had 'done it' and who had not. Not much change there you might think. However, when I was at school these conversations generally started to take off in the Sixth Form, not in Years 9 and 10 as they often do today.

When I lost my virginity at 17 it was with a mixture of pleasure but more than that, relief. Box ticked. Could I have waited longer? Yes. Was it with the right person? I thought so at the time. Did I feel more grown up? Not really. I still had to go home afterwards and finish off my English homework.

THE FIRST TIME MIGHT NOT BE SPECIAL

As with first kisses, your first sexual experience may not be the stuff of your wildest fantasies.

Sex takes practice and is best with someone you love and who loves you too. So it's no surprise that the 'first time' can be riven with false starts, embarrassment and often the feeling that something didn't go quite right. That's absolutely normal and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

But when things do go right and you eventually fall in love, there is nothing better.

A real, worthwhile relationship will not play itself out online and the person you are with will give you the space to be who you are, not constrain you within a porn-inspired fantasy which will be elaborated - with pictures - on Facebook the morning after.

Don't expect everything to run without a hitch. Even after a romantic date and night of passion, your partner is as likely to be thinking about his breakfast as he is hearts and flowers.

THE INTERNET IS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST FOR YOUR TEENS

Never forget that something posted on the internet will stay with you for life.

Imagine how you would feelif you went for a job interview and before you had even arrived, your potential employer had made a judgement about you based on a revealing selfie posted on Instagram a few years before?

The same goes for comments about other people. Being online can give you a false sense of freedom as you don't have to deal with people face to face.

Think twice before you write; what you say will affect the person you are writing about and will undoubtedly have an impact on the way that others view you.

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What EVERY mother should tell her daughter about sex: As Emma Thompson writes her daughter a sex guide, one anxious mum offers advice to her own 14-year-old