Parent Pimps Articles

A video surfaced of Justin Bieber using the n-word this weekend in a candid moment that was recorded several years ago, when he was 15. TMZ claims that they had access to it four years ago but decided not to post it because he was so young back then and, according to them, had immediately expressed remorse. Full Story

And we’ve moved into the next phase of the Celebrity Civil War – with Entertainment Tonight, PEOPLE, and JustJared declaring a “ban” on photos of celebrity children, except of course for the “sanctioned” ones, one faction of Celebrity (those who don’t pimp their kids for their career) is basically forcing out the other faction. And we’re not just dealing with Kanye West’s girlfriend here. What about those who parade their kids around at the farmer’s market and the pumpkin patch when they’re trying to win an Oscar? This happened well before last year. You remember when Reese Witherspoon was up for Best Actress and she and Ryan Phillippe showed us their happy, happy family smiles right up until she had the statue in her hand…and then everything just stopped? Coincidence or conspiracy? You remember when Katie Holmes pulled her ninja parachute out of Xenu’s clutches and then became the Mother of the Year on the streets of New York while the paparazzi documented her every move, turning public favour against her husband and protecting her from alleged retaliation? Convenience or nuisance?

Yes we are still talking about Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard – ironic considering that they want more privacy, no?
Kristen is still aggressively tweeting media outlets with the #pedorazzi hashtag, because I guess encouraging your followers to incessantly tweet accounts that aren’t engaging back isn’t a form of pestering. Full Story

The oldest Jonas’s wife had a child yesterday. He was live-tweeting the labour and then told his followers to follow the Dreft Twitter account for the official sponsored birth announcement…!!!!! Look! The logo is on the photo!
Full Story

Halle Berry and Jennifer Garner appeared before the Assembly Judiciary Committee hearing in Sacramento yesterday to urge lawmakers to pass tougher legislation against paparazzi when they’re taking pictures of celebrity children. Garner in particular became very emotional when discussing how her kids are harassed by photographers. Full Story

What does this one look like to you?
Let’s not forget that Miley was calling out her dad on Twitter as recently as earlier this summer. And that nothing happens in a bubble, especially online. And that Noah Cyrus, age 13 and two thirds has been purportedly wanting a showbiz career for a long time, though it’s never really come together for her. Full Story

I went on Amazon to check if there was a “books by parents of celebrities” section – no dice. But really there could be: Jaid Barrymore (mom of Drew), Lynne Spears (mom of Britney), Debbie Nelson (mom of Eminem), Nancy Aniston (mom of Jennifer) and Kit Culkin (father of Macaulay). Full Story

I am officially an old crusty c-nt. Because …I mean… I can’t with this. Can.NOT.
How do we do when we’re dealing with a 12 year old? No one wants to be unkind to a 12 year old. Not even Alec Baldwin? OK, maybe Alec Baldwin. But most of us don’t want to be unkind to a 12 year old. Full Story

The Smiths are getting a lot of attention this week, particularly for the, um, curious Vulture interview -- click here if you missed Duana’s post on it. Patterns and Joe Kennedy? Child’s play compared to the cray cray that is Courtney Love. Full Story

(Last night I emailed Duana about the Will & Jaden Smith Vulture interview. I heard from her an hour later:
OH MY GOD.
Like I'm not even through it and I only woke up because Libby barked and I checked email on phone and could not even get through it before I had to put it down to email you. Full Story

It’s really hard to write about Jaden Smith. Here he is in Cancun, doing press for After Earth, the movie he made with his dad Will. Jaden is 14 and it’s obviously not fair to judge Very Young Hollywood by the same standards I feel so completely free to judge Adult Hollywood. He’s a kid. Full Story

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson were in North Carolina this weekend promoting Porny’s clothing line. Apparently some of that is maternity now? At some point during the event, Porny propped her kid up on the table for photographs. We can all agree this is a business engagement, right? So... I mean. Full Story

Justin Bieber is now in Spain. He performed in Madrid last night. This is a different face than the one we saw for a couple of weeks in England where he celebrated his 19th birthday by taking his shirt off, arguing with club owners over age restrictions, collapsing on stage, shouting at people over Twitter, and threatening to f-ck up the paps while being lifted out of his car seat by his babyguard. Full Story

Textbook. Again. The exceptions are the ones who DON’T f-ck up, remember. And there are fewer and fewer and fewer of them.
Then again, it depends on your definition of f-cking up. If they’re millionaires many times over, that may not qualify as a f-ck up, at least not yet. By Justin Bieber’s standards, being rich means he’s not a mess. Full Story