Smash the patriarchy, oh lord

I had a dream that I was God, and even I couldn’t smash the patriarchy!

The problem was that I was trying to do it without directly controlling everybody’s minds.

First, I tried just telling everybody to treat women equally. That caused a lot of people to talk a lot, but it changed their behavior not at all.

Then I tried manifesting myself on Earth and trying to get laws passed and stuff. I went to the white house and told them I wanted to speak to the president. They were like “uh huh, and who are you?” I was like “Okay, I’m going to sound like a crazy person, but I’m God personified on Earth.” They were like “Yep, you sound like a crazy person.” I was like “Here’s something that should help you believe me. You are about to pick up the phone and call the president. Then you say what you want to say.” Much to his surprise, he picked up the phone and called the president. When the president answered, though, he was like “Um, false alarm, sir.”

I eventually got some bills to the floor of congress, though, and I tried to fix the vote by making the misogynist legislators vanish during the vote. But the people didn’t think that was fair, and didn’t take a vote.

Meanwhile, all my meddling was causing a huge backlash among the populace. It was like all sorts of people, and not just gamers, had joined Gamergate. People were joining into gangs and smashing windows and beating up feminists and stuff.

What this goes to show is that I should really make a plan, in case I ever become god.