So I think it's an appropriate moment to consider other annoying comments made by people who have no business saying such things:

"You're not looking great. Are you sick?" Yes, yes, I am, and now I'm going to purposefully throw up in your purse like it's made of porcelain.

(To a woman, or this guy) "When are you due?" If by due, you mean I ate that new Taco Bell enchilada feast, then I'd say last night for Fourth Meal. No, I'm not due you idiot. I'm holding water weight.

(After you've cheated on by a significant other) "How's your boyfriend/girlfriend doing?" How are they doing? Oh they are &$*#@@$ GRAND! They are up to their elbows in WHORE CROTCH! GOD IN ALL HIS WISDOM PAIRED ME WITH A SLUT BANGER! THANKS FOR REMINDING ME! Where's the Tylenol?

(While you're holding food) "So, what do you have to eat there?" What does it look like? It's a sandwich. Is that blowing your mind? Can you believe that two pieces of bread, some turkey and mayonnaise is considered a meal? Because that's what's going on.

"Are you in a bad mood?" Well, I wasn't until you asked that. Now, I'm considering taking down a plane* with all my loved ones inside. I appreciate you pushing me over the proverbial edge.

* Note to FBI: I would not actually take down a plane. Perhaps a tug boat- that would be original, right?

---------------------Tomorrow, for my birthday, I'll have a special guest post by Southern Belle, so check, check, check, check it out. Update: Also, for those interested in a new TV Play by Play, I wrote about Rock of Love Bus (trainwreck!) here.

Ugh, I hate when people look at my food and inquire about it!! Every day when I eat lunch, my boss comes out of his office and hovers over my shoulder and says, "Mmmmm! Smells good! What is that??" It drives me sooo nuts!

So many people ask stupid questions!! I was walking across campus with a cup of coffee one day and some guy I'd never met stopped me to ask if I like coffee. Obviously dude, come on! Then he asked if he could try it and I shook my head and walked away. Is that some sort of new line guys pull? I don't get it. Sorry man, I don't want to swap spit.

ooo I really hate when people randomly comment on my appearance. If it was "Hey you look beautiful!" then sure, but it usually isn't.

The best example: I ran into this one old aquantaince on campus only 2x in my entire college experience. The first time I was feeling great but in sweatpants, no makeup, & running late to class. "Hey! Oooh how are you feeling? You don't look so good." The next time I saw him, I was dressed up for work w/ makeup but sick to death with the flu. "Hey! You're looking great! Feeling better?"

One time I was at a COSI center, watching my children play and there was a little boy there who had recently had a brain injury and was wearing a helmet. You know the kind screwed into you head. Some Jack*** says to the mother, "Where did you get that cool helmet? My son is always whackin' his head. He could use one of those." I think the mom was stunned into silence and to this day I still remember that Jack*** had a shirt on that said "What if the hokey pokey really is what its all about."

Screw strangers, you shouldn't even say stuff like this to people you know. I hate when you tell someone that you feel sick and they immediately go, "Yeah...you don't look good." So now I have to feel like shit physically and emotionally?? Thanks, asshole.

And I hate when people come up to you and say, "Smile, it can't be that bad!" How the hell do they know you didn't just come from a funeral? Or you just burned down your ex-boyfriend's house?

How about saying to a child accompanied by a woman who REALLY does not look that old: "Having a good time with grandma?"

Perhaps -- you crotchety old hag-a-muffing-- the little boy was with his MOTHER. Not everyone has children when they are 20. You are so lucky I didn't punch you in the face, lady.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. And Happy Early Birthday. I have a present for you -- a post of embarrassing photos for your enjoyment. I really wanted your little Indian button. I'm publishing it tomorrow ... I'll pop over to give you the link.

Regarding your list of inappropriate questions: When I was in high school I was quite portly, or "husky," to be more PC. About 10 years ago I lost a considerable amount of weight, and a neighbor of my parents asked them "Why is Jeremy so thin? Is he sick?" I told my mother to ask them "Why are you so fat? Are you lazy" for me.

Sam_I_Am: I have a co-worker who, every day when he returns from lunch, walks around the entire office (6 people) asking "How was lunch?" Annoys the heck out of me. I want to reply: "Dude, it's just lunch. Nothing exciting to report."

Thankyou!! For posting this. It's about time, I can't STAND when ppl ask questions like this.

Another peeve is when people with the IQ of a sea snail throw out completely insensitive comments. Like when one of my pregnant friends was in an elevator, some guy waltzed in and said, "You must be having a girl." She said, "Why?" He said, "Because a girl robs a mother of her beauty."