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Where do I begin. I guess I'll start by going through the boring parts you''re all probably used to:

Parents Divorced

Sister raped

Sexually Abused by caretaker

3 attempts so far

Constant rejection

More recently, I have had bouts of sheer, unadulterated anger towards friends, family, teachers, and it has ruined my life. I don't have a friend in the world I haven't alienated and/or told to through themselves into the canal. I am so alone and it is my own faut, and that's the worst part. The guilt.
This is the situation: I have purposely backstabbed my friend by fucking her boyfriend because I just wanted to see if I could. That's the truth. I feel absolute shit for it, but it happened. I don't know what else to say, other than I'm complete scum.
When I was abused, the woman who did it got away. I still ponder whether to bring this up with maybe the police, but no-one seems to remember her name or have any documents with her name on it. What am I supposed to say? 'Yes, a Polish woman, who some say lives in London, sexually abused me nearly a decade ago.' absolutely pointless. The worst part is, my father knew about it, and let her get away with it. He knew my mother would fly down to where we were living and drag me away to live with her by the end of the week. And I couldn't do that to my sister, she was the one who chose to live with my dad in the first place, and with reason. My sister doesn't have the greatest relationship with my mother, due to many different reasons (she claims mother blamed her for the initial divorce.)
Last year, after a long time bottling up any anger or frustration I had towards him, he finally left the country. The weight was then lifted, and I could finally talk to someone about the issues I went through. He concealed from my mother and the rest of my family the suicide attempts I did. How could you explain a 12 year old boy with a suicide note saying his father covered up sexual abuse to protect his own?
When he left, and I opened up the wardrobe with skeletons for coats, I went to see a CBT.
SIDENOTE I am known to be cynical, relatively depressed individual, pessimistic about most things and quick to criticise myself.
She was FUCKING USELESS AND STILL IS! I'm sorry, but reassuring myself daily that everything is flowers and rainbows isn't helping me, and just makes me even more depressed! If it's not distraction therapy that is telling me to turn my back on a creeping firestorm, it's reminding me how much worse other people have and till have it. I can't stand it! I feel nothing but anger. Nothing. Everything feels like it could be painted in the same dull beige hue. I can't keep going on, and talking doesn't even seem to help me. It is just forcing me to face parts of my life I'd rather leave unopened.
I have recently stopped talking to my father and asked him not to contact me until I feel I am ready to talk to him. The problem is, when I told him that, he exploded. He e-mailed all my teachers, family, everyone telling them that I'm a selfish brat who is just fucking with him for its own sake.
I was put on anti-depressants, but the problem with them is they feel like an absoute plaster on a festering wound. No-one I talk to anywhere has given me anything other than 'It get's better' spiel. I don't know if it does, and accounts vary. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this facade.

It might get better. It might not. Chances are it will be better if you do things to make it that way.

Anyone giving the "it gets better" speech should be shot. There is no guarantee of that, and to a cynic it is pure unadulterated bullshit.

But you know what? You can make it better. It may take time, depending on your age and where you live, but when it comes to getting young, one thing you always have in your side is that you can simply get up, move, reinvent yourself, etc.

Is there anything holding you back from that, if not now, in the next few years?

I'm no Edmond Dantes - I can't just up and move, give myself a fancy new title and proclaim myself to the world; call me cynical, but I just don't think that kind of life is possible anymore. New places, same problems.