My dad was caught off guard, but quickly recovered. “Tommy, you and I will address this tonight - privately.” We all knew the meaning behind the word “address”.

Climbing the stairs passed the rushing waterfall, my brother and I were kept between our parents. I spoke to Tommy in a masked voice.

“You really told Dad it was your fault?”

“Don’t make a big deal outta it.”

“But why didn’t you tell him it was my fault?”

“It wasn’t.”

“But-“

“Look,” Tommy put his nose to mine as the group paused to take pictures. “Don’t you go repeatin’ this.” He frowned then sighed. “I was remembering about Paul and how his little brother was almost run over by a car ‘cause he was following Paul to our house on his bike. Everybody was really mad and Paul got in trouble. That’s when I got to thinkin’ maybe I should be lookin’ after my little brother. You know, like Dad says, start growing up and being a godly man.”

I could only shake my head. “Wow.”

For the first time in my life, I actually admired my brother. Even if he did put me in a headlock.

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Your story kept my interest thoughout. I could just see these two brothers in all their "activities". :) (plus my husband is the youngest of 6 boys and I've heard similar stories :) ) I liked your ending (it warmed my heart). Nice work!

I can SO see this happening! I toured many caves with my family when I was a kid, and was often tempted to cross the barrier and explore. Great job using dialog to build your characters and tell (I mean "show") the story. Love your WOW moment. :)

I liked your story so much when I finished it that I forgot the red ink you requested. :) In the beginning, the words "perhaps" and determined" don't sound like what an 8-year old would say. And I think you switched tense after the first paragraph? That's all! Great entry. :)

I really enjoyed this! You did very well at creating the family dynamics - slightly harassed parents, squeemish sister and of course mean older brother picking on younger one. I loved the older brother taking responisibility in the end, he was a "well-rounded" character, not as mean as he looked!

I really like stories that are about small moments of great significance. This is one of those--the moment a boy begins to understand responsibility. Loved the details about the cave, too. I think I may have visited that one (in Missouri, right?) when I was a child. Well done.

This is so awesome - and the ending is perfect. As far as red ink, the only thing I could say is that some of the vocabulary seemed a little older than an 8-year-old: petrified, for example. Great inspiration!

I enjoyed this story very much. Also thankful I didn't have a younger (or older)sibling who got me in trouble all the time. I liked the title and how you mentioned it at the beginning and the end of the story. That gives the story subtle cohesiveness, in my opinion.

Haha...the ending with the headlock is just perfect. You captured their characters wonderfully and I loved the POV you chose, it just made this come alive through younger eyes. Nicely done! I liked it.