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In need of a bit of a boost :(.... My story

Hi So here is my story,

5 Years ago I fell pregnant with my husband (was fiance at the time). I had a perfect pregnancy no problems and she was born a healthy child. When she was 1 we decided to try for another one and it took me almost a year to conceive then i miscarried at 15 weeks (worst thing to ever happen to me) then we decided to try again and it took me almost a year again to conceive and I miscarried again but at 14 weeks this time. Then I fell pregnant in Jan 2012 but lost it a couple of days later (that was a really early miscarriage). We have had some tests done and I have tested positive for MTHFR heterozygous and I also have a retroverted uterus. My husband has recently had a semen analysis but we are currently waiting for those results and I had the test to see if I was ovulating ok (as it keeps taking me a year to get pregnant) those results were fine and docs said I am ovulating. Thing is this is taking over my life... I want it so much but i also want to make myself not want it so it doesnt hurt as much each month when its not happening and then I find that when I do get pregnant next I am going to be petrified I am going to lose it. Its really getting me down and could do with a bit of support as I always get the "you should be grateful for the one u got" and "maybe its not meant to be" comments off people that do not understand. I love my daughter so much and it kills me inside when she keeps asking me for a brother or a sister and she looks so lonely sometimes. Well thanks for letting me vent I just wish I could click my fingers and none of us would have these problems! xx

Hi and welcome to
I am sorry for your losses. I hope you can find some support here from us.
Start with reading around the forum to find some I formation and people in a similiar position as you.
Take care and good luck with your journey.

Sounds like you've been on an emotional rollorcoaster. I hope you and your DH get your wish of a little brother or sister for your daughter.
I cant make any suggestions of what to do but all i can say is that your not alone. I have two wonderful children by my ex-husband. Im now with a man who utterly rocks my world. We've just been told that he has a very low sperm count. We feel devastated about it. I'm struggling with the conflict of wanting more children and knowing that I am very lucky to have the two I've got. We havent told people about our results as we feel we dont need to hear comments from others who quite frankly don't understand how we feel.

Hi angel83 thank you for the support. Its such a hard thing to go through sometimes. Honestly some people only mean well most of the time but some of the things they say are so hurtful and I really think if you haven't been through it yourself you cannot understand how it feels. I did used to talk to someone who was in the same situation as me but she is now pregnant so I feel I cannot talk to her anymore as I don't want to ruin her happiness... She really deserves this. Just wish it would happen for us! X

I am sorry about the roller coaster you are experiencing. As others have said having a child does not make your pain less when wanting more and loosing babies. I also hate comments about what was meant and what was not meant to be. Maybe it is too late to ask but have you had any tests as to why those poor babies died? Or in general any recurringmiscarriage tests?

I am wishing you all the luck in the world. I would speak to your friend as well she might be wondering why you stopped talking to her. It won't ruin her happiness as that comes from her pregnancy and I am sure she wants you to be happy as well.

I know what you mean . The amount of friends and family who started ttc after us and now are holding their babies, i'm really happy for them but do feel the same as you - just wish we were also holding our baby. I've been thinking about when i do finally fall pregnant (keeping positive!), that I will try to be a source of hope and support to others, just as im needing from others right now.

We have friends and family who know were ttc (just not our recent SA results), and i keep getting 'it will happen when you relax', 'or 'just stop thinking about it'. If only it was that easy.

Your welcome to talk to me anytime, dont know how much good I will be but at least you know your not the only one x

Awww thank u angel that's really nice and same to u. Rianon yes I have had quite a few tests and so far all that has come back as a problem is that I have MTHR heterozygous type and I have a retroverted uterus. Still waiting on hubbys Semen analysis results back but. Other than that all other tests have come back ok so far. They did say possibilty of incompetent cervix but obviously it cannot be tested till u are actually pregnant. Its so frustrating not having a solid reason x

Sorry you already wrote that I just did not know the term so scanned past. I am sure you have read this before but googling your condition I found a helpful looking page: MTHFR & Recurrent Pregnancy Loss - Stephen Wells M.D. - Walnut Creek, CA This guy only recommends baby aspirin and daily injections of anti-clotting medicines for women with the homozygous mutation however I know that in fertility treatment it is very commong to give baby aspirin and Clexane injections (another blood thinner) for the first 12 weeks anyway. I heard of ladies who used these during the whole pregnancy so this might be a good point to discuss with your consultant. You might also be able to get more information on aspirin and Clexane from other ladies as I personally did not use them.

About the longish time to conceive I am afraid it is just like that for an average couple I can only wish you get luckier next time.

Hi yeah they said they want me to go on clexane when pregnant next also I would say the same that it was average but I got pregnant with my daughter almost straight away it seems as if the problems have come after having my. Daughter (not that I blame her in any way) an it seems to be takin everyone else about 3 months to get preg which is really frustrating when u been trying for 4yrs! Also I am on baby aspirin and 5mg of folic acid and vit B12 and vit. B12 and B6 x