The Goggle Bob Blog

FGC #137 Bionic Commando

System: Nintendo Entertainment System, and kinda sorta Gameboy, depending on how much you consider that version to be its own, independent thing.

Number of players: There can be only one Bionic Commando.

Favorite Weapon: There is the bazooka, and there is everything else. Three-Way Blaster doesn’t even rank.

Childhood Memories: I hated this game as a kid. I’ve come to appreciate it as an adult, but the complete lack of a jump button made a young Goggle Bob so upset I can’t even describe it. Like, Rad, can’t you just step over that barrel? It’s not that hard!

Though I still hate…: Having to juggle the proper radio devices lest you be locked out of a boss room is kind of terrible. How am I supposed to remember which otherwise useless item works in which particular area? And what maniac numbered these levels, anyway?

Did you know? I feel like a lot of people already know this, but the original “Top Secret” Japanese version of Bionic Commando was just loaded with swastikas. They were all over the place! I’ve always found it funny how other mediums have no problem with Nazi bad guys, but video games, oh no, now we’ve gotta throw random eagles into the mix.

Would I play again: Hell yeah.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Capcom vs. SNK for the Sega Dreamcast! Didn’t we already review that game?… Oh? This is the other side of that? So it’s a good game? Awesome. Please look forward to it!

I guess it should be obvious from the Japanese name, Japanese box art, and the sprite art used for the level complete image and ending, but the NES Bionic Commando isn’t even really bionic. His bionic arm is just a grappling wire he holds with his hand that’s kept in the sleeve of his army jacket for easy access.

Anyway, love the game. Shame they brutally murdered the series reboot in cold blood with everything that came after the remake of the NES one.