With increasing age comes many wonderful things, including hard-learned wisdom, better sex, and cold, hard cash. But since life is a total bitch, aging also flings some serious horse shit our way, too, namely in the form of achy knees, the ‘dad bod,’ and baldness. Oh, that darn male pattern baldness.

Statistics show that by the age of 35, around 66 percent of men lose a considerable amount of hair, and by 55, 85 percent of men have significant hair loss. And by significant hair loss, I mean bald, just like Mr. Clean.

Sure, having a gorgeous head of hair is a blessing, but hey, no shame in being a baldie. There’s no use fighting it if your hair is falling out. Plus, if you just shave off any remaining tufts of hair instead of combing it over like a dweeb, and just go for the clean bald look, think of all the time and money you’ll save! And not to mention how badass you’ll look.

And guess what? Going bald (or just shaving all your hair off) is actually one of the greatest things that can happen to you, because apparently, bald dudes are perceived as more intelligent, dominant, and overall sexier than men who have a full head of hair. Or so says Dr. Frank Muscarella from Barry University in Florida.

Interested in why baldness is still a thing, even though it’s seen as such a horribly negative thing, Muscarella set out on a noble quest to find out why the baldness trait hasn’t been bred out of humans yet.

In his study, Muscarella and his team asked participants to rate a selection of men in four domains: physical attractiveness, aggressiveness, appeasement, and social maturity, which included factors like honesty, intelligence, and social status.

Once he crunched the numbers, he found that generally, people perceive bald dudes as more honest, intelligent, and dominant, which are obviously all good things. However, there is one bit of bad news – baldness decreases perceived physical attractiveness just a touch, but no matter. The increase in the other domains cancels that out.

Besides, look at Jason Statham. He’s on the short side of the height spectrum and he’s bald, but he’s one of the sexiest dudes in Hollywood. Just look at how badass he is!

“It could be speculated that although the characteristic of baldness decreases a man’s perceived physical attractiveness, it increases his perceived social dominance,” Muscarella told Daily Mail.

“Studies have shown baldness in men is seen as a non-threatening form of social dominance. There is a large body of literature that shows that although women like physically attractive men, they are also very attracted to signs of high social dominance.”

“Consequently, it could now be explained how the characteristic was passed on. My speculation is that as humans evolved and the group became increasingly important for survival, males played a more integral role in the family group, and it may have been adaptive to evolve a morphological sign of this dominance-related role and one that made the adult males appear less threatening and more approachable to facilitate interactions with them.”

Well, damn. That’s what I like to hear. That said, if you’re struggling with the psychological trauma of hair loss, just remind yourself: Would you rather be a pretty boy with a head of hair? Or would you rather be a highly intelligent, sexy, dominant goddamn boss who everyone respects?

Sermorelin and GHRP2 both stimulate the patient’s own pituitary gland by binding to specific receptors that increase production and secretion of endogenous Human Growth Hormone (HGH). GHRP2 also acts as an appetite suppressant allowing for increased weight loss.

First Month

Weight loss/Body fat reduction

Vivid dreams

Better, sounder sleep

Improved stamina

Optimistic attitude

Second Month

Improved muscle tone

Increased strength

Improved skin tone

Improved nail growth

Better digestion

Weight loss/Body fat reduction

Improved vision

Enhanced sexual function

Third Month

Improved mental process

Enhanced productivity

Faster wound healing

Hair re-growth

Increased libido

Increased muscle size

Faster recovery from muscle soreness

Reduced PMS symptoms

Greater body flexibility

Reduced pain

Fourth Month

Heightened improvements with all of the above

At times improvements may seem to diminish or plateau

Rejuvenation is still a process. Benefits should resume with continued improvements

Many men struggle with baldness and wonder about new treatments. Some shampoos and lotions contain caffeine and promise to help keep hair thick and full. How does the evidence stack up?

A 2014 study found that caffeine has a “potent” effect in growing hair in laboratory conditions. But real-world tests of the efficacy of caffeine-containing shampoos and lotions are rare, and those that have been done show a modest effect.

The laboratory work sounds “really promising. But in terms of clinical application we’re not there yet,” says Tina Alster, a clinical professor of dermatology at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. More rigorously designed studies in humans are needed, she says.

Androgenetic alopecia, which can affect both men and women, is hair loss caused as testosterone shortens the hair follicle’s growth cycle, resulting in progressively shorter, finer hair, says Ingrid Roseborough, a clinical instructor at the department of dermatology at the University of California, San Francisco.

In the 2014 study published in British Journal of Dermatology, a team of academic researchers found that small concentrations of caffeine, applied to hair follicles extracted from human males and grown in a lab, counteracted the effects of testosterone, stimulating hair growth and prolonging the time the hair follicles remained in their growth phase. The study found the caffeine also had a beneficial effect on female hair growth, but only when used in an even more diluted form than was used for male hair follicles.

Earlier research by the same scientists found that higher concentrations of caffeine can actually suppress hair growth in men and women. This could be because the caffeine overstimulated the hair follicle, the researchers suggested. “It’s hard to predict exactly how much is too much of this agent. We just don’t have the information,” says Dr. Roseborough, who was not involved in the study. She noted that the lab experiment was done over just a few days, so it isn’t clear it will translate to long-term results in humans.

Caffeine-containing products that hit the U.S. market in recent years include Dove Men+Care Thick & Strong Fortifying 2 in 1 Shampoo + Conditioner, about $4 to $5 for 12 ounces from London’s Unilever PLC, and Hair Surge, $43.99 for eight ounces, from Ultrax Developments Corp. in Phoenix. In addition to caffeine, Hair Surge has other hair-thickening ingredients, says Kyle Uchitel, Ultrax co-owner.

Neither company has published studies on the products, but Alpecin Caffeine Shampoo C1 from family-owned business Dr. Kurt Wolff GmbH & Co. KG in Bielefeld, Germany, has been tested in studies published in 2010 and 2013 in the Journal of Applied Cosmetology. Alpecin Caffeine Liquid, which was designed to be applied after washing and can be used in conjunction with the shampoo or alone, was tested in a 2011 study.

There was “a little bit” of hair regrowth seen in the studies, “but it does not mean your hair will grow like when you were 20 years old,” says dermatologist Leonard Celleno, a researcher at Catholic University of the Sacred Heart in Rome. It’s possible the products could have an additive effect if used in conjunction with other hair-growth products, such as minoxidil, but the Sacred Heart studies didn’t test that, he adds. The studies were funded by the company.

Dr. Kurt Wolff GmbH plans to begin selling Alpecin shampoo and liquid in the U.S. this summer, says Theresa Ladleif, product manager. The price has not yet been set. The products can be used in males from puberty, to begin counteracting the effects of testosterone on hair follicles as soon as possible, she says.

While the Alpecin products are designed for men, they can be used by women, particularly after menopause when hormone balance begins to change, she adds.