The Week in Sharia: Obama’s Extremely Covert Plan

New Hampshire heard arguments from citizens about a bill to ban gay marriage. Concerned citizen Howard Kaufman took to the floor of the state house to float the second-wackiest conspiracy theory of the week: Gay marriage is a secret gateway to Islamic law.

The wackiest conspiracy of the week? That belongs Avi Lipkin, an American-born Israeli who revealed (scoop!) that President Obama is pushing for amnesty for undocumented residents as part of a secret plot to flood the nation with 100 million Muslims. As MoJo‘s David Cornexplains, the plan is to “turn this country into an Islamic nation by the end of his second term.” And the United Nations is in on it!

At a town hall meeting in Pompano Beach, Rep. Allen West(R-Fla.) was asked by the director of CAIR‘s South Florida chapter why he thinks Islam is so horrible. West, who’s been floated as a vice presidential candidate, responded: “I’ve been on the battlefield, my friend. Don’t try to blow sunshine up my butt and tell me it’s warm and fuzzy.” Which is gross.

West appeared on Fox and Friends to explain what he meant on Wednesday, and, after first labeling Muslims “an enemy,”warned that he would not tolerate being portrayed as an “enemy of Islam.” Because seriously, where did anyone get that idea?

Tennessee has already banned Islamic law. But just in case they missed something the first time around, Volunteer State lawmakers are going to try to do it again. A proposed bill before the state legislature would make “material support” for Islamic law punishable by 15 years in prison. Per the bill, “The knowing adherence to sharia and to foreign sharia authorities is prima facie evidence of an act in support of the overthrow of the United States government.” Among the ways you can show adherence to Sharia: getting married, not robbing banks.