Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Four Weeks

In four weeks I will be taking my kids to school. I CAN’T WAIT!!! I know most parents feel the same way. Remember the Staples commercial a few years back where the dad is dancing in the aisles buying school supplies to the tune “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?”

Summer never goes as I plan. I had all sorts of ideas of what I wanted to do with the kids while they were home. I had educational field trips I wanted them to do, schedules to follow, a summer of fun and organization.

HA!

My first mistake is thinking my kids are like the ones on cereal commercials. I start the summer forgetting about the summer before, seeing my children as the well-mannered, civilized humans they aren’t. I figure one more year has made a difference and providing some wholesome activities along with a firm schedule would bring peace and joy to my home. I also believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, so that shows you how far gone I am.

My kids are what they are, strong individuals with all the charm of rabid bobcats. They can’t help it, they are genetic products of my husband and me. They have some lovely games.

The Gang-up: My 10 year old allies himself with his 3 year old sister to torture the 6 year old. It’s a classic and works like a charm.

Tattletalemania: All three of them run down the stairs like they are being chased by bulls in Pamplona so they can report to me what vile sin the other has committed. Another tried and true game which is guaranteed to blow Mom’s stack.

What’s for Dinner Trivia Game: My 10 year old starts asking me at 9 a.m. what we are having for dinner that night. Like it makes a difference. This ain’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way, so why bother asking what’s for dinner?

Twenty Questions-Telephone Version: This is a new one to my household and the 6 year old is quickly becoming a contender for a gold medal in this sport. When the phone rings, she asks who I’m talking to, what we were talking about, what decision was made, blah, blah, blah…while I’m still on the phone. This game is a kicker because I honestly think my irritation is pushed so high I can feel my blood pressure increase. That takes talent.

The Bawling Serenade: The 3 year old has her own skills, I didn’t want to leave her out. She is an aficionado. Not only does she have an ear-piercing cry, but she can do it at the drop of a hat. Literally. She bawled the other day because she dropped her hat. Her sense of timing is perfect. She really knows how to hit those high notes on those mornings when mommy is suffering the effects of her tequila shots and the multiple beer chasers that followed.

As fun as this summer has been, I’m looking forward to seeing them off to school. I still have one at home, but she won’t have her siblings to add to the cacophony. She’s actually pretty easy. A little “Dora,” a little “Disney Channel” and her Little People toys and she’s good to go.

I know by next summer I will again delude myself with visions of a “Donna Reed” household where the children know their place and I vacuum the floor in pearls. I’ll plan another exciting summer full of educational trips and stick to a rigid schedule and we will all be happy.

Next year.

Hey Writers….Get your links ready for the Blog Carnival. The url for the event will be my blog. I’ll post it Sunday night so you can post the link on Monday when our carnival begins.

Also, next week Melissa and I will be hosting a Book In A Week (BIAW) over at Villa in Tuscany so if you are in the mood to punch up your writing, head over and sign up. It should be fun and inspiring.