The act of masturbation by taking a huge diarrhea dump, then wiping and chokin it with whatever is on the toilet paper. Most commonly done by lonely, homeless people, who have no lotion so it's hard for them to lube up.

Frank: Dude I'm bored
John: Well then do The Lonely Hobo
Frank: No way man I ate Jalepenos yesterday
John: Suck it up, it'll be tingley like KY