Wolverine World Quiveration

They had a contest or something and eventually Tempe, Arizona was selected as the location of the Wolverine world premiere. So the stars flew in last night for the carpet led by their sweet, humble, generous movie star leader Hugh Jackman who has literally travelled the world in support of this film, tirelessly, and not once has complained or faltered or seemed anything but enormously grateful for his opportunities.

Sure. It seems absurd to applaud a man for acting like a normal, appreciative human being. Except that normal and appreciative don’t usually go together in Hollywood. Hugh’s kindness, among the selfish f-cks he’s associated with, is definitely uncommon.

And here he is last night, doing his job beautifully for the fans who waited day and night to see him, making sure their experience was what they had hoped. Hugh was joined by his costars – Will.i.am and the sexy Liev Schreiber and of course those two Canadians Ryan Reynolds and Taylor Kitsch.

Why does it seem like Ryan permanently has a pole up his ass ever since Scarlett Johansson came along? Photo Assumption his body language and it’s like he’s above the red carpet now, like his over foundation face is made for more serious endeavours, like he really wishes he could be away from this place, writing alone in his hotel room a brilliant treatise on swine flu and existentialism for the Huffington Post.

Bitch… please!

And then Taylor Kitsch. Oh TK. Not crazy about the facial but it’s for his next film now shooting in South Africa called The Bang, Bang Club. Of course you know I love him, and of course gross beard or no gross beard he’s a beautiful man…. but…gulp…

Why is he so wee?

I’ve met him and while he definitely wasn’t super tall, he didn’t seem so wee. Like 5 ft 10 on a really, really, really great day and just coming from Pilates.

Standing next to Hugh and Liev and Ryan though…

Taylor looks wee. Wee!

And in some shots, it's like he's standing on tippy toe!

I have tried not to let this affect me. I have tried not to judge. But I am shallow and my loins are too. And while the quiver certainly isn’t gone, it has also been hosed down. Significantly.