This is a huge week for movies that I’ll probably be mentioning toward the end of the year in a certain feature that calls out certain films for sucking a certain amount, because you can now purchase two of the least entertaining films that I’ve watched so far this year on DVD and Blu Ray. I won’t spoil the fun and name those films, but I’m sure you can figure it out, because they’re the first two films listed.

New on DVD and Blu-Ray this week:

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

The Call

Phantom

As Luck Would Have It

A Place at the Table

No

Pusher

Apostles of Comedy

Into the White

Blood Runs Cold

Our beloved Morton Salt is on assignment in a strip club right now, hopefully finding out for my mom if they’re hiring, so you’ll have to settle for me leading us down this wonderful road of things to watch when you’re really bored.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Superstar magicians Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carell) and Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) have ruled the Las Vegas strip for years, raking in millions with illusions as big as Burt’s growing ego. But lately the duo’s greatest deception is their public friendship, while secretly they’ve grown to loathe each other. Facing cutthroat competition from guerilla street magician Steve Gray (Jim Carrey), whose cult following surges with each outrageous stunt, even their show looks stale. But there’s still a chance Burt and Anton can save the act-both onstage and off-if Burt can get back in touch with what made him love magic in the first place.

Should You Watch It? I’ll start with the positives: Olivia Wilde is always delightful in anything, Steve Buscemi was pretty funny, and this is one of James Gandolfini’s final films (which is still a very depressing thing to write). And like most of the films that he has supporting roles in, Gandolfini is one of the best parts. So it’s not an entirely bad movie.

The cons, however, are that Steve Carell and Jim Carrey are still just “meh” at best.

The Call

When veteran 911 operator, Jordan (Halle Berry), takes a life-altering call from a teenage girl (Abigail Breslin) who has just been abducted, she realizes that she must confront a killer from her past in order to save the girl’s life.

Should You Watch It? I find WWE films to be a guilty pleasure sometimes (12 Rounds is a comedy classic) but this isn’t your typical WWE film. In fact, aside from David Otunga and cheap, predictable suspense, there’s not much WWE to it at all. Also, what happened to Abigail Breslin? Might be time for a new agent.

Man, that blurb for Apostles of Comedy. Not that it ever would have appealed to me in the first place, but they make it sound like comedic anti-matter. “HE’S PERFORMED IN CHURCHES AND AT CORPORATE FUNCTIONS FOR THREE DECADES” Wow. The guy must be hilarious. And doesn’t the title seem pretty overdramatic and borderline sacrilegious?

Phantom was “meh” (particularly the 1st half of the movie) and a waste of a great cast. Not sure if my opinion would be different if I hadn’t read this article a few weeks ago and had the ending (sorta) spoiled before they even get on the sub:

The best part of The Call is how the 911 “hive” is this ultra-modern facility and not a beat up call center. Also, it was very nice of the people of L.A. to not have other emergencies while Breslin was missing, allowing all 911 operators to stand around and watch Halle Berry.