Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Monday

Joke
N°
4614

Stuffed Lion
A hunter visited a friend and was given a tour of his home. In the den there was a beautiful stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked: "When did you bag him?"
The host said: "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."
"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter.
"My wife." Ryan Murphy

Tuesday

Joke
N°
4615

Colorful Nicknames
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said: "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed: "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whisky until Joanne finally asked: "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said: "The postman."
"Why the postman?" asked Joanne.
"Because, he always delivers late and half the time it's in the wrong box." Ryan Murphy

Wednesday

Joke
N°
4616

Life In The Fast lane
A racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.
"What's the matter? Didn't I satisfy you," he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door open?'"
Ryan Murphy

Thursday

Joke
N°
4617

The Disappearing Wife
A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him: "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied: "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye. Ryan Murphy

Friday

Joke
N°
4618

When I Drink, Everybody Drinks
A guy walks into a bar and shouts: "When I drink, everybody drinks!"
Everybody is cheering him and applauding like crazy. Feeling great, he finishes his beer, asks for another one and shouts: "When I drink again, everybody drinks again!"
Once again, everybody is cheering him. He is the hero of the bar.
When he is done drinking, he pulls out his wallet and shouts: "When I pay, everybody pays!"
Ryan Murphy

Saturday

Joke
N°
4619

Lawyers Are Replacing Rats
Have you heard they're using lawyers instead of rats in laboratories these days? There are three reasons for this:
1. Lawyers reproduce faster.
2. The scientists don't get attached to the lawyers.
3. A lawyer will do things a rat wouldn't even consider. Ryan Murphy

Sunday

Joke
N°
4620

A Short Affair
A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment.
"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes, the woman had climaxed eight times.
"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!" Ryan Murphy