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What makes the Bible more His word than the Koran? What makes the New Testament more His word than the Old? What makes the NIV more authoritative than the KJB? The Protestant more than the Catholic? The Lutheran over the Baptist? The Eastern Orthodox over the Russian Orthodox? The Hasidic over the Reformed Jew? The Shia over the Sunni? Which brass tacks are the correct brass tacks? To whom do they belong?

"Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, 'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us."

Ray is what happens when you put a bible, a banana and the circumcised foreskins of lots of good God-fearin Christians into a vat of amniotic fluid and throw the switch.Now I know we all like to create Christians fundamentalists in the lab, they are after all the simplest form of life. Not nearly as tricky as say a bacterium, but there are some hazards involved. There really is nothing quite as hilarious as giving your newly created fundie a bible and a copy of playboy at the same time and even just prodding a creationist with a stick can be fun. Still, there are dangers. A Christian fundamentalist is for eternity you know, not just for Christmas. Careless scientists flush unwanted fundamentalists down the toilet and before you know it they have built a ministry out of pure shit. This has been going on for some time now which might explain the rash of fundamentalists that have been climbing out of sewers to peddle crap. The result is that rational people are now having to out and hunt down these fundies. If you feel like doing you part, here are some guidelines to make your fundie hunt a safe and enjoyable experience.

- Fudies are impervious to reason or logic. You may need to deploy vapid sloganeering to slow them down and get their attention

- When throwing points at fundies, you may need to repeat yourself many times. Those thick forehead ridges can take quite a lot of work to get past.

- Fundies can be dangerous when cornered. They will lash out with arguments so weak, they may leave you temporarily speechless and in rare cases you may even black out momentarily.

- Fundies are not afraid to use blatant stupidity. In fact, they regularly display stupidity that goes way beyond the limits of common decency. This is as intellectually dirty as it gets. If you are not properly prepared they will rapidly drain you patience. Patience shortages are the principle cause of fundie hunt related injuries.

- Fundies will inevitable go to ground or ‘go to bible’ being the official fundie hunting term. They will launch slavos of biblical passages which, while harmless for the most part, can cause irritation around the brain area. This can offer some of the most fun elements of a fundie hunt though. Lobbing a well placed bible verse back at the fundie usually results in hilarious excuse making, squirming and meaning twisting on a scale rarely witnesses in other settings.

- Remember what you are dealing with. Fudies can make great pets but never forget that they are essentially feral in nature. If they had the power they would probably kill you and everyone like you. Lone fundies are a curiosity, but in large numbers they can erode the foundations of democracy and freedom. Be extra vigilant for signs of fundie activity in or around government buildings or places of education. If you work in an abortion clinic be extra careful. The ‘killer’ or ‘Africanized’ species of fundie have been know to nest near these types of facilities. A can of fundie repellant is usually sufficient to deal with most infestations but if the infestation appears to be national in nature, this may call for the application of large amounts of education. Children are especially vulnerable to infection by fundies. Critical thinking though has been found to be a very effective inoculant.

- Lastly, remember to have fun! Doing your pest control duty doesn’t have to be boring!

If I aquire a womans phone number from a bathroom wall and I call the next day and hear only ring tone then call the next day and get ring tones forever again, and the next day the same thing and every day after that no answer for weeks, I will start to get the impression that she probably is not home or the number was bogus or she doesn't really exist. Maybe that's a bad analogy, but it's about the same result I get when I pray.

As a matter of fact, the last prayer I prayed was that God would reveal himself to me in some manner. I would except a personal revelation that I alone would understand. I can be easy to get along with. However, no such revelation has been forthcoming. Well, he has the rest of my life to contact me, so I'll be waiting. In the mean time, I'm going to live my life to the fullest.

I've just done a post on this complete arsehole. It is a little ranty but I can't believe what he has just done. Even for a Theistard it is jawdroppingly petty. Why does this sort of thing still surprise me.

Please pick a handle or moniker for your comment. It's much easier to address someone by a name or pseudonym than simply "hey you". I have the option of requiring a "hard" identity, but I don't want to turn that on... yet.

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