Friday, November 02, 2012

The Worst Invention in the World

Finding myself
stuck in rush-hour traffic on a nightmare drive into work the other
morning, I find myself looking up the exhaust pipe of the slow-moving
lorry in front of me, rapidly changing my mind over what is the worst
invention in the history of humanity.Some say it is
nuclear weapons and nerve gas. Others say it is those workplace toilet
roll dispensers that bite your fingers and prevent you from stealing the
toilet paper. Still more might look you in the eye and say "Farmville".

These people are wrong. Because the world's resources aren't precious enough as it isBecause we're not pumping enough pollution into the atmosphereBecause our civilisation isn't bombarded with enough marketing

The truck whose
sole existence is to do nothing more useful for society than to drive
around already busy streets with an advertisement on its back.

I think I speak
for the whole of humanity when I say that the people behind this outrage
should be fed to hungry sharks, the sharks blasted out of a cannon at a
wall, and the wall stuffed up Banksy's arse as a piece of installation
art. And I'd be right.

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