Didi-Goths

Gothiness: 3 Sweatiness: 6

Ah, the blossoming teenage Goth! They’re not like all their friends in school. No-one understands them. And one of them’s got a lolly! Note simple makeup that can be easily removed before their mum picks them up on her way home from Asda.

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Goths, I love 'em! I even used to be one for a bit (well, I was a Didi-Goth for at least 6 months). But there's one thing that troubles me about our cheery friends: what to do they do in summer? All that makeup, long black leather and rubber must get very sticky. I think we should show our respect for these poor unfortunates, struggling to stand out from the vanilla crowd despite blazing temperatures and sunshine that puts the rest of us in shorts and vest tops. Join me in celebrating the majesty of the Goth, who, eschewing any practicality whatever, still has the commitment to don a full length leather trenchcoat, stupid New Rock boots, and half a Superdrug counter of makeup. All hail the Hot Goth!