During my freshman year in college, you and Dad were on campus for a board meeting. After a fancy dinner you stopped by my dorm to bring me a little bag of desserts from the hostess. Among the coconut meringues, the mini-chocolate éclairs and cherry tarts, a handful of fortune cookies had been tossed in like afterthoughts. These became the favorites. My roommate and I read the fortunes and decided we could write better messages than the originals. Soon we were laughing so loud that other freshmen on our floor joined in. As the night wore on, the fortunes got worse and worse, especially the ones we wrote for unreasonable professors, ex-boyfriends, or anyone who had done us wrong. (What happened in the dorm that night stayed in the dorm. We zipped our lips, agreeing not to repeat or send the fortunes.)

It’s hard to write good fortune cookie messages. Recently HuffPost Comedy posted “The Most Ridiculous Fortune Cookies of All Times.” Here are three of my favorites from their long list: 1) “Help! I’m being held hostage in a Fortune Cookie Factory.” 2) “Something wonderful is about to happy.” (sic) and 3) “Come back later…I’m sleeping.” (Yes, cookies need their sleep, too.)

Your great-grandson Gannon offered to write some fortunes for you, Mom. I think they’re very good for an 8-year-old third grader, especially since he carefully wrote each one in a different color:

(Click on Gannon’s fortunes to enlarge them)

Fortune cookies are fun desserts, Mom, but you never took them seriously. They were like horoscopes, you said, interesting to read but not reliable instructions for our personal lives. You pointed out that each horoscope applied to about 1/12 of the world’s population, and fortune cookies were mass-produced and randomly distributed.

But if I could give you just one fortune cookie with a message especially for you, here it is: “You will live A Wonderful Life!” (Your own life, and not Jimmy Stewart’s in the movie.)

Thank you, Ellen.
The pumpkins were a last minute addition to the lineup for this blog. Both Gannon and his sister Grace raked the leaves and filled the bags–not at all the typical Halloween pumpkins–but they really liked them.

The road not taken is part of Brown’s Park in Abilene, KS. It’s at the end of a large wooded area our family has nicknamed “Sleepy Hollow.” The area is rich with old stone bridges and forgotten paths, and hiking there nudges something in me. I come up with surprising writing ideas after a jaunt in Brown’s Park, Diana, regardless of the season.

We ate the cupcakes after the photos were taken, Alice, and I’ve got to be honest: the art was better than the taste.
We’re all proud of Gannon’s careful, precise handwriting. For an 8year old who loves soccer, baseball and football, he’s also a sweet little guy who loves to do nice things like writing fortunes for his great-grandmother.

How about: “Your thoughtful messages (and Gannon’s) will touch fill your mother’s heart with love.” Gannon’s messages are very sweet. I also love the “road less traveled” message and photo. (That’s one of my favorite Robert Frost poems.)
P.S. I sure wish you kept some of those un-fortunate cookie messages from your college days. It’d be well worth the giggle to part with that secret now.

Oh, Judy, what happens in the dorm, stays in the dorm. But after ALL these years, maybe…no, I just can’t. (Actually, I can’t remember any of them all that clearly. We were just a bunch of students seeing who could come up with the most offensive fortunes. The things we do when we’re young…)

I never got to college Marylin, joining the army at 15 and I was stationed on the South coast of England while my mother was in Scotland, she did manage to visit twice the second time of course my passing out parade. Never been a fan of fortune cookies and still today I always leave them unopened on the table or in the carrier if a take-away.

I do like Gannon’s fortunes though but you can tell him this old grand dad still can’t tie his shoes and always wears slip ons and I got my flu shot a couple of weeks ago xxxx

Gannon will love this, Tom! He’s finally learned to tie his shoes, but if he’s in a hurry (and he almost always is in a hurry), they’ll be tied right, BUT they’ll be on the wrong feet.
I can only imagine the stories you could write, Tom, about being 15 in the army in England while your mother was in Scotland. I hope you’re writing some of the stories, at least for your grandchildren. And you could share some some them with us, too!

This blog turned out so fun and light hearted. Gannon will love seeing his “fortunes” on the computer, along with the pumpkin bags that they filled. Although, he and Grace will probably be upset that they didn’t get to sample the gorgeous cupcakes….

I believe that Grandma’s fortune is perfect for her (and also 1/12 of the population)…but she is something so special, that is for sure.
We had such a fun visit with you here. Thanks for the fun. Love ya!

Thanks, Mookie. This has been such fun.
There’s something wonderful about watching my grandson so carefully write messages for his great-grandmother/my mother. She won’t know what this means or how we’re all connected, but we’ll know and remember for her.

Thanks, Tracy. This was Gannon’s premiere appearance on the blog, and he worked so hard on this. My mom would be proud of him if she could connect these fortunes with the darling little guy who is her great-grandson.

It gives me so much joy, Roxie. When Grace and Gannon go to visit their great-grandmother, even though she can’t quite figure out who they are, they know who she is and just wrap her in love. It’s very sweet, and how memories are created for the next generation.

Those ridiculous fortunes are hilarious! My kids have yet to make up their own fortune cookies, but sometimes I make one up for my 4-year old when he asks me to read his, since he can’t read yet. I always try to make one up that relates to that specific day and he always looks at me with a blank stare, shocked to hear it. Then, he always goes, nooooo, it doesn’t say that. So I read him the real fortune, which more often than not, tells him he’s going to be happy in his own age. He’s not very impressed then…

Sounds like a perfect audience for Gannon’s fortunes!
When I told him that his great-grandmother had already passed 3rd grade with flying colors, and had been a teacher, he didn’t miss a beat. “Good for her,” he said, and kept the fortune in the group.
Hey, when you’re sure, you’re sure.

Better, actually, even when the fortune doesn’t make sense. (You can always pass it on to someone else, and while they’re confused you can sneak some of their Crackerjack. Kind of full-circle entertainment!)

I have a cousin named Gannon– unusual name for a very smart boy. If he’s going into the fortune cookie biz to support you, better get it in writing now. My mother-inlay has no idea who her great grands are, but she loves being around them. I guess they can remember live a lot longer than names and relationships. You’ve given me an idea for a new party game 🙂

My Gannon is so cute, and yes, he’s very smart. Or at least I think so as his grandmother/Mor-Mor. I’m still smiling that you advise me to get it in writing about going into the fortune cookie writing business! Thanks!

I have lunch with a friend at a Chinese restaurant once a week. Our pet peeve is fortunes that are not really fortunes but proverbs or nice sayings (Gannon does a MUCH better job). One tradition we have is declaring that “the fortune we get today will govern our lives until we get the next fortune cookie.”