& I missed a dose of meds for kennedy was she was beyond cranky so I ended up not even finishing..not that i wanted too. & took her out in the car & waited for Brandon

before we went out to eat!

Then SUNDAY

i got breakfast in bed

& went over to my moms

{ i again want to say that I do not share my blog on my personal FB ect, if I know you in my personal everyday life, i am not only asking.. I am begging..& pleadingthat you not share what you read here today}

I have been having alot of pain in my abdomen.. & as of the last two days gotten really swollen, I showed my mom & she has noticed it too & we were thinking it maybe another cyst..a really big one; or a big one that has burst. There was no way I was pregnant, I stopped clomid 2 cycles ago.. & AF was here on August 13th I did test after just because i felt SO nauseous but that ended up being the flu that Brandon also go as well, it was negative {digital}/

I needed to get to the dr asap, because something just wasn't right.

well, we decided to go to walmart & pick up a test. I said i really didn't want to...there was no point..I didn't want another negative, even though we weren't even trying..

first two were during the evening of yesterday.. the second with the tiniest sample. & the last from this morning!

go on..freak out.. I AM!

god works in SUCH mysterious ways!

August was the last month to try I have a post I was going to post this week about the end of this journey.

I stopped charting..we stopped trying

we actually were looking into adoption which was part of that post.

the only people that know are Brandon, Kennedy & my parents only because I am going to need them for support if anything goes wrong, a friend & now all of you.

We are not telling anyone til 20 weeks in fear of miscarriage or early delivery due to my incompetent cervix.

But i wanted to write down my thoughts, document this; & ultimately... get support. I am trying so hard to stay positive; but this could turn out bad...really bad. & the blogger community is great & i hope in any way this miracle of a pregnancy takes us; I know yall will be here to support!

Here is what is going down

-waiting for the dr to call me back as I type to get my BETA done TODAY.

-ultra sound, possible progesterone shots again to help me no miscarry like first 2 pregnancies {i only had one with kennedy}

-find out why the crap my line is so dark this early...was my last AF a fluke? or twins?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

but i feel like we skipped that whole sept-oct warm but chilly weather

that is just perfect

& went straight to november

its 58 degrees outside right now!

this was my child last night

hat & coat

{which by the way was her coat from last year; & still fits! i am going to try to find another in 12 m tho}

someone ask me before but its by: cachcach

& she was in her bundle mee

& you can see her cheeks will are really cold!

fall is making it appearance

in the house

THIS:

was supposed to look like THIS:

but: after trying to find branches, & glass; i used the glass & sticks from my center pieces from our wedding & then the pumpkins wouldn't fit down the glass so it turned out a little different! but i dont think it looks to bad, for throwing something together & not having to spend anything on it!