Episode begins in the garage. Tim is polishing the
Nomad. Randy enters.

Randy:

Hey Dad.

Tim:

Hello Randy.

Randy:

Wow. Nomad's looking great. I've never seen
it look this shiny.

Tim:

Well, that's because after hours of deliberation
I have selected this car for you to take your driver's test in.

Randy:

Over the Mustang and the Austin Healey?
How'd they take it?

Tim:

Well the Mustang took it O.K. But the Austin
Healey's [Tim speaks in an "English" accent] in a bit of a snit.

Randy:

[Randy sits in the open trunk of the car]
Dad, I wanted to talk to you about my driver's appointment.

Tim:

O.K.

Randy:

I called down there to make an appointment
and they were all booked up on Saturday so I made it for tomorrow.

Tim:

I can't go tomorrow; I'm working.

Randy:

I know; Mom'll take me.

Tim:

Ah no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. There are
certain first times in a boy's life you don't want your mom with you, and this
is the main one. [Tim sits down next to Randy] Um, er, a week from Saturday,
we'll go.

Randy:

Dad, I don't want to wait --

Tim:

-- you can wait a week, wait a week for
me.

Randy:

Dad, I don't want to wait a week. I'll have
Brad take me.

Tim:

Well, uh, no, a father's supposed to be there
for the great moments in his son's life.

Randy:

Dad, you weren't there when I was
born.

Tim:

But this is big.

Randy:

Dad, I know how important this is to
you.

Tim:

No, this is, you don't know how important this
is. This is really a big deal for me.

Randy:

Dad, there's gonna be other
occasions.

Tim:

What other occasions?

Randy:

Well, y'know, first dead battery, license
renewals, tickets. You'll be right by my side for all of them.

Tim:

You're not just saying this?

Randy:

[Randy pats Tim on the back] I promise.
[Randy stands up to leave]

Tim:

God bless you son. [Tim wipes the corner of
his eye with a cloth]

[Opening credits]

Cut to the "Tool Time" set.

[Heidi is drilling a wooden frame.]

Heidi:

Welcome back to "Tool Time."

Tim:

[Tim & Al step out from behind the frame] For
those of you who've just joined us, where the hell have you been?

Al:

Well, we've already shown you how to run wire
through a frame wall before the drywall is up.

Tim:

That's right Al. And next we'll show you how
to run wire through an existing wall, which can be tough. You'll find yourself
in a very tight spot.

Al:

Which Tim is very good at getting us
into.

Tim:

Well Al's also good at getting into tight
spots; you wedged yourself into those trousers, didn't you? [Tim mimes pulling
himeslf into his trousers]

Al:

Now sometimes, y'know, conduit, water pipes,
insulation, can make it very difficult to run wire. Tim give me a hand
here.

Tim:

Alright. [Tim, Al & Heidi turn the wall around
to reveal a cut-away existing wall on the other side]

Heidi:

Now, as you can see from this cut-out wall,
running wire through here would be very difficult.

Tim:

But not for our next guest. Let's give a warm
"Tool Time" welcome for master electrician Judy McHale. [Tim, Al, Heidi & the
audience applaud. Judy enters the set carring a tool box]

Judy:

Hi guys.

Al:

Hi Judy.

Judy:

Tim.

Tim:

Judy, welcome to the show.

Judy:

Thank you.

Tim:

I understand you have a very unique way of
running wire through tight, difficult spaces.

Judy:

That's right, Tim. I call it Judy's
Way.

Tim:

Oh, fascinating. Do you have er, do you have a
unique tool that you use?

Judy:

You betcha. Right here in Judy's
Toolbox.

Tim:

O.K., why don't you open it with Judy's
Hand?

Judy:

Oh, O.K. [Judy opens the toolbox and takes
out a rat]

Tim:

Oh, it's a rat.

Judy:

Yeah.

Tim:

What do you call this?

Judy:

I call it Judy's Rat.

Al:

A welcome addition to any toolbox. Does he come
in metric?

Judy:

Oh! [Al & Judy laugh]

Tim:

Erm, Judy, why don't you tell the audience
what you've trained that rat to do.

Judy:

Oh, I've taught him to run all kinds of wire
through walls, including computer wire for schools.

Tim:

So you need that rat before you can use your
mouse!

Judy:

[Judy looks at Tim] Judy takes her work very
seriously.

Tim:

Judy needs a man. [Judy looks
shocked]

Judy:

Judy heard that. [Judy turns and smiles at
Al] It's true though. I've also taught this little fella how to run wire
through walls filled with asbestos. [The rat coughs]

Tim:

Well, that would explain the cough then,
wouldn't it? Why don't we put the little electrician through his paces,
O.K?

Judy:

Alright.

Tim:

Judy will put the rat in the opening up
here.

Judy:

And then Tim is going to reward him with a
piece of cheese at the bottom. [Judy climbs up the stepladder]

Tim:

You can see by the complexity of this wall it
would be very hard to do this by hand. That's where the rat comes in very
handy. When he comes down the bottom he'll have a little wine and cheese party
to celebrate, huh?

Judy:

There we go. [Judy puts the rat in the
opening]

Tim:

Alright. What's next?

Judy:

Oh, well we need the cheese.

Tim:

Heidi?

Heidi:

I left it on the work...bench. [Tim & Heidi
turn the the workbench and see Al eating the cheese]

Judy has a confession to make. Judy's Rat
doesn't know how to wire this wall because it's really not Judy's
Rat.

Tim:

What?

Judy:

And I'm not really Judy.

Tim:

Well who are you?

Judy:

I'm Judy's sister, Trudy. I just wanted to
meet Al.

Cut to the living room.

[Jill is sitting at the table. Mark & Ronny enter through the
front door. Both are carrying guitar cases]

Jill:

Hi guys. What's up?

Mark:

Well, the bass player of Ronny's band quit,
so I'm taking his place.

Jill:

Hey, that's wonderful! Well, except you don't
know how to play.

Mark:

Didn't stop the last guy. Besides, Ronny's
teaching me.

Jill:

[To Ronny] What do you play in the band?

Mark:

Ronny's our singer.

Ronny:

Yeah.

Jill:

Y'know, that makes a lot of sense. Cuz
normally you're kind of a quiet and private person, and I'll bet that when
you're on stage, that allows you to open up emotionally and connect with the
audience.

Ronny:

No.

Mark:

C'mon Ronny, let's play.

Ronny:

Later. [Mark & Ronny go upstairs. Tim enters
from the garage, with a bandaid on his nose]

Jill:

Hi. What happened to you?

Tim:

I don't want to talk about it. I see Randy's
not back from his driver's test yet.

Jill:

Yeah, and I've been thinking.

Tim:

Oh no.

Jill:

I still think that we shouldn't let him drive
at night for a while.

Tim:

You take away his night driving privileges,
that's humiliating. You might as well just put him in a dress and give him a
bus pass.

Jill:

Look, I-I'm not just pulling this out of thin
air. A lot of states have passed --

Tim:

-- I know, I know --

Jill:

-- night time driving laws because teenagers
have more accidents after dark.

Tim:

And it's a good law. But I've driven with him
at night and he's a good driver.

Jill:

I know. I just want him to have a little more
experience behind the wheel before we send him out in the dark.

Tim:

Y'know night isn't as dark as it was when we
first started driving.

Jill:

[Jill looks at Tim] What?!

Tim:

El Niño. C'mon, he's gonna be just
fine. And we can't have different rules for different kids. We let Brad drive
on his first night.

Jill:

Well yeah, and he rear-ended
somebody.

Tim:

That could happen to anybody.

Jill:

Then he lied about it.

Tim:

He was scared.

Jill:

Then the guy he hit tried to sue us. Our
insurance rates went through the roof and so did you.

Tim:

Yeah, I did, didn't I?

Jill:

Yes.

Tim:

[Tim picks at his fingers] I got bit by a rat
today.

Cut to the kitchen, later that day.

[Randy & Brad enter from the garage]

Tim:

Hey.

Brad:

Hey. [Brad sees Tim's nose] What happened to
you?

Tim:

Forget about it Brad. It was Chinatown. [To
Randy] Well, what happened?

Randy:

Well, I got some bad news.

Tim:

Oh God, you, you failed the test.

Randy:

The bad news is... you have another teenage
driver to insure!

Tim:

You. [Tim & Randy high-five] Congratulations!
Yeah!

Jill:

Congratulations honey. [Jill hugs
Randy]

Tim:

Alright!

Brad:

Yeah, I'm glad I took him. Y'know it brought
back a lot of old, great memories from when I started driving. [Brad puts his
hand on Randy's shoulder] I'm proud of you kid.

Randy:

Thanks pops! [Randy playfully punches Brad
on the chest] And this is great. [Randy takes his license from his pocket] I
can't believe I actually have my license.

Jill:

Yeah Randy, er, your father and I want to
talk to you about that.

Randy:

Oh, I know, I know, buckle up, drive slow,
and always yield to a classic car.

Tim:

Er, actually there's more.

Randy:

Well, could you make it quick; I'm taking
Lauren out for dinner and a drive up to Grosse Point.

Tim:

Well, that's great, that's great. You know what
might be an even greater idea? Is, is, is you drive up there during the day and
you might check it out so if you ever got there at night you'd know, well the
night would be a little darker, so you'd have, the darkness would be different
than the day, you, you...

Randy:

Dad, what are you talking about?

Jill:

Er, what your father is, is trying to say is
that we're uncomfortable with you driving at night.

No, honey, honey, you, you don't understand.
Ah, you see, [With emphasis] we are so uncomfortable that in order to alleviate
our discomfort, ah, we're not gonna let you do it.

Randy:

What? Dad?

Tim:

I'm in total agreement with your mom on this.
It's, it's just for a short time.

Jill:

Yeah, a month.

Tim & Randy:

A month?!

Tim:

I thought we were thinking about a
week?

Jill:

You might have thought that but what we meant
was a month.

Randy:

This is totally unfair.

Jill:

Look, night time driving is trickier. We just
want you to master day time driving first.

Randy:

Mom, you let Brad drive at night as soon as
he got his license.

Jill:

Yeah, and he had an accident, didn't
he?

Randy:

So why do I have to pay for Brad's
screw-ups?

Tim:

Well, that's, that's kind of how the system
works. Y'know, you pay for Brad's mistakes, and, and Mark'll pay for your
mistakes.

Randy:

What mistakes have I made?

Tim:

Well, for starters having Brad as a
brother.

Randy:

This makes no sense. How could you let Mom
talk you into this?

Tim:

[Tim picks his fingers] I got bit by a rat
today.

Cut to the living room.

[The telephone rings. Jill answers it]

Jill:

Hello?... Oh yeah, just a second. [Jill
switches on the intercom] Mark, it's for you. [Jill switches off the intercom
and hangs up the phone. Brad is watching TV] Another call for Mark. You know,
this band thing is making him really popular; his calls have doubled.

Brad:

Yeah, that's two this month. [Randy enters
from the garage]

Randy:

Well, I'm back, safe and sound before the
danger of nightfall rears its ugly, little head.

Jill:

Did you and Lauren have a good
time?

Randy:

Oh yeah, we had another lovely, wonderful
afternoon date. We caught a three-thirty matinée filled with old people
explaining the movie to each other, then we went to an early-bird dinner filled
with old people saying, [Randy clutches his back, in an old voice] "Does the
salmon have bones? I hate bones, huh, huh?" [Mark comes downstairs]

Mark:

Hey Mom? Our band got a rehearsal studio for
the night. Can I go? I'll be back by eleven.

Jill:

No honey, it's a school night.

Mark:

Oh c'mon Mom, just this once?

Jill:

I don't know, I.

Brad:

Mom, think about it: Mark playing somewhere
that's not here.

Jill:

Well, your grades have been really good
lately. So O.K., just, y'know, get your stuff, I'll drop you off on the way to
the P.T.A. meeting.

Mark:

Thanks Mom [Mark goes upstairs]

Randy:

Mom, I don't believe this. When I was his
age you never would have let me go out this late on a school night.

Jill:

Well, you also never had trouble making
friends the way he does. This thing has been really good for him.

Randy:

Wait a second, let me get this straight:
Mark gets fewer rules because he's a dork, and I get more rules because Brad's
a dork?

Mom, there's been a shake-up in the band; I'm
now lead tambourine. [Mark starts shaking the tambourine again]

Jill:

Oh.

Tim:

Hey Mr. Tabourine Man, play your song
somewhere else. [Mark goes upstairs] I asked you not to take the car out at
night, you take the car out; it's like stealing it. She's worried sick, I need
an explanation for this.

Randy:

Dad, I'm sorry.

Tim:

Sorry doesn't cut --

Jill:

-- Look, we've already talked it all out. I told
him that I went overboard and that you were right.

Tim:

Yeah, well, I'm telling you -- She said I was
right?

Randy:

Well, she didn't use your name
specifically.

Tim:

That doesn't matter; this is huge.

Jill:

Can we talk about the punishment that he's gonna
get for taking the car.

Tim:

Thank God he's back in one piece. The car I
assume is alright?

Randy:

Yeah, it's fine. Although it was pulling to
the left a little, so I put some air in the tires.

Tim:

Did you get the good air?

Randy:

Yeah, Dad. I, I went to Smitty's; hose across
from pump number four. I got it.

Tim:

Right, right, right. Did you talk to Smitty
about the new air cleaner?

Randy:

Yeah, you know he's having marital
problems.

Tim:

His wife and him aren't getting along at all.
The car... [Tim & Randy both talk at once]

Jill:

Guys. Can we get back to the punishment
thing. [Brad comes over]

Tim:

You did take the car; we told you not to. I
say, it's fair, a week without any driving at all.

Brad:

One week? Wait, I, I couldn't drive for a month
after I got in my accident.

Jill:

Now that's a completely different
situation.

Brad:

Well not to me. I mean, how can you give him
less punishment than you gave me?

Jill:

We have to treat each one of you differently,
according to your needs.

Brad:

And who decides what are needs are?

Jill:

We do. Right Tim?

Tim:

Huh? [Tim looks around from the
fridge]

Jill:

Tim, how come every time I try to have an
important parenting discussion you tune out?

Tim:

I got bit by a rat this morning.

Cut to the kitchen, later.

[Tim & Jill are washing up. There is "music" coming from the
garage]

Jill:

What do you think of Mark's band?

Tim:

It sounds like they're playing my bench
grinder. I'm gonna make sure they're not fiddling with my stuff out
there.

Cut to the garage.

[Mark and his band are playing. Tim & Jill open the door to
the kitchen]

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