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"I feel like many of the comments against the age difference in [Call Me By Your Name] have something to do with the privilege of queer sexuality becoming 'normalized' to the point where it is totally legitimate to expect queer teenagers to be able to find other queer teenagers. I grew up closeted in a tiny conservative town--and as far as I knew, I was the only gay on the face of the earth. I didn't even meet an out queer person until some years later in college. That meant when I found someone (or someone found me), it wasn't a question of age--it was someone reassuring me that I wasn't, in fact, the only gay on the face of the earth. I haven't seen the movie, but the book captures exactly that feeling--that tactile electricity of watching the size of your world double and expand until it seems infinite. And hey--was it ideal that some of my first sexual experiences were with men older than I was? Would it have been better if I'd lived somewhere with a queer student alliance, a pride parade, a gay couple being co-elected homecoming king? Maybe, but I've had the life I had, and my experiences are just as legitimate as they would have been had I been able to come out at 13 & take another out boy to my middle school dance. "

--- When I posted about Armie Hammer's burn on James Woods I prepared myself for some shitty comments but what I got instead was a bunch of thoughtful ones, like this here one from commenter Joe K. You guys rock.