Blogito ergo sum! Actually, as N.T. Wright averred, "'Amor, ergo sum:' I am loved, therefore I am." Among other things, I am a Roman Catholic deacon. This is a public cyberspace in which I seek to foster Christian discipleship in the late modern milieu in the diakonia of koinonia and in the recognition that "the Eucharist is the only place of resistance to annihilation of the human subject."

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Sunday, August 17, 2014

"He lost his ability to love or be loved"

Last night I took the risk of re-watching Terry Gilliam's 1991 movie The Fisher King, which starred Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges. Williams plays "Parry," a man, a former professor, rendered mentally unstable by the traumatic event of his wife's brutal murder, which happened right before his eyes and was precipitated, not carried out by, but likely caused by Jeff Bridges' character, Jack, a Howard Stern-like shock-jock. It is an amazing movie. I thought so back when I first watched it. I saw it at the cinema and, a few years later, watched it again on videotape. It is a modern take on the quest for the Holy Grail and a tremendously moving one at that.

In a pivotal scene, Parry takes Jack to Central Park at night to engage in what he calls "cloud busting." According to Parry "cloud busting," which is laying on your back and staring at the night sky, is best done nude. So, Parry takes of his clothes and dances about, which makes Jack uncomfortable. Jack, who is broken by what happened and who realizes Parry is a victim of his shock-jocking, but is no less self-absorbed, starts to leave, but just can't. Remaining clothed, Jack lies next to the nude Parry as they contemplate the full moon. It is then that Parry tells the story of the Fisher King:

Then let's begin with the story itself.

It's a story of the Grail myth...And although
there are several variations, my favorite
begins with the Fisher King as a young boy...
who had to spend a night alone in the forest
to prove his courage... and during that night,
he is visited by a sacred vision. Out of the
fire, appears the Holy Grail - God's highest symbol of
divine grace. And a voice says to the boy,
"You shall be the guardian of the Grail, that it
may heal the hearts of men"...But the boy was
overcome ...Innocent and foolish, he was
blinded by greater visions - a life ahead filled
with beauty and glory, hope and power...Tears
filled his eyes as he sensed his own... invincibility.
A boy's tears of naive wonder and inspiration.
and in this state of...radical amazement...he felt
for a brief moment, not like a boy, but like God...
(Jack listens intently)
...And so he reached into the fire to take the Grail.
And the Grail vanished. And the boy hands were
left caught in the flames...leaving him wounded
and ashamed at what his recklessness had lost him.
When he became King, he was determined to
reclaim his destiny and find the Grail...
But with each year that passed, with each
campaign he fought, the Grail remained lost, and
this wound he suffered in the fire grew worse...
He became a bitter man. Life for him lost it's reason.
With each disappointment, with each betrayal...
with each loss ... this wound would grow...
Soon the land began to spoil from neglect
and his people starved...Until finally,
the King lost all faith in God's existence and in
man's value...He lost his ability to love or be loved
And he was so sick with experience...
that he started to die. As the years went on,
his bravest knights would search for the
Grail that would heal their King and
make them the most respected and valued men in
the land, but to no avail.

Pretty soon, finding
the Grail became a ruthless struggle between ambitious
men vying for the King's power, which only confirmed
the King's worst suspicions of man, causing his
wound to grow. His only hope, he thought, was death.
Then one day, a fool was brought in to the King
to cheer him. He was a simple-minded man...
not particularly skilled...or admired... He
tells the King some jokes...sing him some songs,
but the King feels even worse...Finally, the
fool says, "What is it that hurts you so much?
How can I help?"...And the King says, "I need
a sip of water to cool my throat"...So, the fool
takes a cup from the bedstand, fills it with
water and hands it to the King...Suddenly,
the King feels a lot better. And when he looks
to his hands, he sees that it was the Holy Grail
the fool handed him...an ordinary cup that had been
beside his bed all along...And the King asks,
"How can this be?...how could you find what
all my knights and wisest men could not find"?
And the fool answers, "I don't know. I only
knew you were thirsty."... And for the first time
since he was a boy, the King felt more than a man -
not because he was touched by God's glory...but
rather, by the compassion of a fool

Later in the movie, Parry and Jack go cloud busting again, but Jack, too, does it in the nude.

I love Michael Card's song "God's Own Fool," the chorus of which goes as follows:
"So we follow God's own Fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable, come be a fool as well."

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About Me

I am husband and Dad to six lovely children. I am also a Roman Catholic deacon of the Diocese of Salt Lake City. I married in 1993, became a Dad for the first time in 1994 and most recently in 2011 (quite a spread). I was was ordained in 2004. I am assigned to The Cathedral of the Madeleine in Salt Lake City. I am a graduate of the University of Utah and the Institute in Pastoral Ministry at St. Mary's University of Minnesota.

Madeleine Delbrêl

"We fashion the immortal being we are through our choices. Through our choices we bring the man in us to the fullness of life or to the worst of human suffering. At the hour of his death each human being has become either a person who will live with God forever, or who will be without God forever" Madeleine Delbrêl

St. Paul

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Rom. 12:1-2)