Welcome, everybody, to the fifth annual Fail Awards. I am your host for the third time in a row, Gamefreak75. While the main purpose of the Mario Awards is to celebrate the Mario Wikis anniversary and glorifying the Mario series, is it really perfect? New Super Mario Bros 2 says otherwise.

If you want to read how the Fail Awards started, go read my post from last year.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it wasn't much, but then again, the opening speech isn't the meat of this event. We hope you enjoy this years presentations!

Welcome, everybody, to the fifth annual Fail Awards. I am your host for the third time in a row, Gamefreak75. While the main purpose of the Mario Awards is to celebrate the Mario Wikis anniversary and glorifying the Mario series, is it really perfect? New Super Mario Bros 2 says otherwise.

If you want to read how the Fail Awards started, go read my post from last year.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it wasn't much, but then again, the opening speech isn't the meat of this event. We hope you enjoy this years presentations!

Hi everybody and-a welcome to the Mario Show! *thunderous applause * I'm-a your host, Mario! And today we're-a going to be coming-a to you live-a from the Super Mario Super Awards! Woohoo! *thunder applause * Today we've-a got-a three very special-a guests so let's-a bring them in! Our first guest of the night is Mimi! *thunderous boos as Mimi walks onto the stage*

Mario: Hey, Mimi.Mimi: Hi.Mario: Let's get right down to business.Mimi: Okay.Mario: I understand that everybody you've ever loved has left you upon discovering that your true form is that of a giant arthropodean eldritch abomination that devours men's souls, is that true?Mimi: Yes.Mario: Tell us how that makes you feel.Mimi: Well, uh, it makes me feel, um, pretty bad. Eheh. Uh.Mario: Go on.Mimi: *sniff* Uh, you know, I just want people to love me for who I am, you know?Mario: I understand.Mimi: I can't help it that I have eight, ten-foot long legs, or that my primary source of calories is the life energy of mortals. I'm just a normal girl with feelings like anybody else.Mario: Right. And is that why your boyfriend left you?Mimi: Y-yes.Mario: Great! Later on we're going to have a priest in to exorcise this deplorable being, but now let's move on to our next guest! *thunderous applause *Mario: Lubba! *scattered boos as Lubba travels onto the stage*

Mario: Hi Lubba, glad you could make it!Lubba: Glad to be here.Mario: Now, you're from space, right?Lubba: Yes. Space.Mario: It must be pretty lonely up there, huh? Nothing around you but the pitch black expanse of infin-Lubba: Actually, I live on a tiny planet in the shape of your head. Mario: What?!?! Mario: Toad get out of here you're not suppose to be on the stage.Toad: You can't tell me what to do, you're not even my real dad!

Mario furiously mashes the security button on the underside of his desk, until Waluigi reluctantly puts down his Nintendo 3DS playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf(Spoilers: this will run Favourite Game) and comes out onto the stage to collect Toad.

Mario: Okay. That was weird. Now, where were we?Lubba: We were talking about your head. Mario: Oh, yes. My head is actually a very significant matter of intellectual discussion, isn't it? We had SnackServ on last week with his new book on it! Lubba: No, in space.Mario: Oh, right. So you live on my head, in space?Lubba: Yeah. It's not much, but it's a roof over my head.Mario: More like, a head over your head, right?*laugh track*Lubba: Uh, haha. Yeah, I guess.Mario: Anyway, it's been great having you on the show.Lubba: It's been great being here.Mario: Yeah, it's too bad about that thing that happened but we're already out of time! We're going to be moving on to our next guest now.

Lubba slowly begins to float back up to space as the next guest walks onto the stage.

Mario: Welcome onto the show, Birdo.Birdo: Thanks. Hi.Mario: What are you doing these days, now that Wart is gone?Birdo: Oh, I'm working under Bowser now.Mario: As a boss?Birdo: Oh, no, just, you know, kart racing, and stuff.Mario: Oh, yeah? Great. Good for you.Birdo: Yeah.Mario: I understand you have a new book out?Birdo: Yes, about the struggles of living as a transgendered person in the Mushroom Kingdom.Mario: Wow, that's really interesting.Birdo: Uh, thank you, I-Mario: Why don't you tell us a little bit about your relationship with Yoshi? Birdo: Oh, you've heard the rumors. Well, we really are just-Mario: Why don't we bring him out?Yoshi: Yoshi! Birdo: Yoshi! What are you doing here?Yoshi: Yoshi yoshi, yoshi!Birdo: What are you talking about, Yoshi?!Yoshi: Yoshi yoshi yoshi, yoshi. Yoshi yoshi?Birdo: What? Why are you just saying your name over and over?

Paramedics soon arrived on the scene. It was later discovered that Yoshi had had a stroke. His grasp on language never fully recovered.