'Extremists Out! Britain Safe!' is actually an upcoming 'Chindie' band. As you can see, they have a loyal fanbase...

For those of you who think that the BNP are a tad too political, there is a new party that disregards any kind of structured argument in favour of shouting racist slurs and waving union jacks as if they were playing a rather crowded game of capture the flag. The English Defence League (or the ‘Eurgh Duh Lads’ as I like to call them) have brought themselves to public attention recently after some demonstrations that soon turned into a wannabe riot.

Instead of lumping together some cookie-cutter policies in their manifesto to appear more official like the BNP did, the EDL (Every Dickhead in the Land) are simply going with the “Eurgh, Muslims is bad” policy only. It’s very straight to the point race hate. I would love to see these guys on Question Time.

It’s the typical mash up of half chewed sound bites and naïve flag waving an chanting which makes me warm more to apathy to any form of nationalism. Actually it makes me enthusiastic for me to be apathetic about people in general, closet misanthrope that I am. Not that there’s any problem with a bit of flag waving. If that’s your mantra and doesn’t lead to you violently masturbating race hate out of mind, then by all means, swing a flag.

In fact, why does it have to a flag symbolising your native country? Why can’t it be a symbol of your favourite Python sketch? Or how you’re currently feeling? Or how many packets of Hula Hoops you have left in your pantry? Basically, a Twitterflag (PATENT PENDING!!!) Surely waving these kind of flags around would spread a better message about than constantly reminding people where you’re from.

Although, if anyone waves a Bon Jovi flag around, I might have to start an anti-Jovi organisation, claim that Jon has been taking jobs from British people in the music business and then protest against them with fellow Bon Jovi haters.

Maybe that’s why the EDL (Exaggeratedly Desperate Lies) are bothered about nationality; they have nothing else on their minds; no favourite bands, no hobbies, no memorable quotes. That’s the barest Facebook profile page if I ever did see one. And there’s the fact that they all dress in chav uniform. It’s almost like they’re on their way to a football match that only exists inside their tiny minds.

A single minded group for single minded people? Could that be their slogan?

For more info, please read Matthew Taylor’s undercover investigation for the Guardian here!