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Episode 4: Office Eccentricities

I work with a bunch of geeks, but it’s just the right place for me, because guess what? I’m a geek, too. I know, it’s hard to believe because I have this façade of being a total babe who just looks good in glasses. I can’t blame you for disbelieving. It all started back in first grade when I took my first typing class and spent the time learning how to make the type writers create soldiers marching across the page or bunnies multiplying and replenishing my curled paper instead of typing asdf jkl;.

One thing about working with geeks is we all have strange social skills. This blog hasn’t had a decent list for a while so let’s try one on for size, thanks. Here’s a random list of some of the eccentricities of my friends in the cubicle farm around me (and many of my own):

There are tall, thick sound-proof walls around me so I can’t hear the phone conversations taking place in the little hallway before the bathroom. Oh wait, I lie. The walls are made of CARPET (or something). What else would you make walls with so your workers can stick strange pictures of each other into them with pushpins?

Freddy and I are working together on an application and he sits kiddy-corner; when he needs to discuss a bug, he demands attention by saying, “Akomire; step!” (According to him, it means “skinny” in one of his languages.)

Mandy and I are working together on an application and after our daily stand-up meetings (for project updates) we spend time discussing our frustrations over IM. We sit next to each other. I can hear her typing her responses.

Josh kept touching my hair today because I made the mistake of telling him not to. My bad.

I get all proud of myself when I write a query that joins five tables and returns distinct columns giving me usernames and passwords for users accessing MY application. (I tested it so I own it, but I suppose that I share it with MY developer.)

Mandy called me the SQL Fairy.

For one of the struggling projects I’m on, here are a few of the goals (quoting word for word here, people): make Elaine look good, brevity, make executives oh so happy.

I’m in a walking group and Josh sends out meeting invites then sends a map after the walk with our mileage, average speed, etc.

For one project, there is a chief and I BELIEVE that there are others who MAY want to sacrifice him.

About once a month, somebody forwards on the dog/cat diary email, but I still laugh and nod. So easily humored.

If I can’t tab logically through an application, I get really perturbed. Apparently, it’s a strange type of OCD.

The DBA emailed me today telling me that he kicked me because I was in his database. I can only blame myself.

The amount of music shared on our network is uncanny. And I don’t have a CD-burner on my box.

And last, even if I am a geek, I am a cute geek. Case in point: I went to Best Buy to pick up my TV and by the time I left the store, I had a date with one “Apple geek.” Rock on, Larrie.