Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?Office creepster: Fucking magic!

Male coworker: It's small but mighty.Female coworker #1: Hey, it's not the size that matters!Male coworker: You're right, it's the bandwidth! (laughter)Female coworker #2: We are still talking about the analytics department, right?

Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can't do it because my eyes are all squinty.Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that's because of where you're from.Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?