10 Most awkward Valentine's Day conversation hearts ever

Justina Huddleston is an editor and the head writer for TDmonthly Magazine. She has been a freelance writer for several years, though her real passion is cooking. You can see the recipes she creates on her vegan food blog, A Life of Litt...

These weird valentines won't start conversation — they'll kill it

Love it or hate it, Valentine's Day is almost here.

Whether you're trying to repel an unwanted suitor, cut a date short or just want to practice your best evil laugh after doling these out to your friends, awkward conversation hearts like the ones below are perfect for ruining anyone's Valentine's Day.

These charming hearts range from the mildly uninterested ("Blerg") to the downright perplexing ("It's not herpes" — so, what exactly is it, then?). Try any of these on your current crush, and you might be in for an awakening even ruder than these phrases.

6. "Size does matter"

I can't imagine a situation in which these cakes would be an appropriate Valentine's Day gift — unless your date is a baker known for making minuscule treats. When it comes to frosted carbs, size really does matter.

9. "Kiss off"

This cross-stitch is one of those weird I-hate-you gifts that actually takes a lot of time and thought to execute. Perhaps best saved for frenemies (who may at least appreciate your handiwork), these decidedly not-nice convo hearts are a far cry from the chalky candies you're used to.

10. "Die in a fire"

The harshest of the bunch, this cookie will definitely kill the conversation between you and any potential suitor. At least the death wish comes with a treat, so they can eat their feelings of despair after you lay your true feelings on the table.