“The purpose of life is not to be happy – but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all.”

~Leo Rosten

I didn’t know what I would write about today and then I checked my email inbox and noticed a new (long awaited) blog post from my best friend Ms. L, Blessed to be a Blessing, and suddenly it got me thinking about the marks that people leave on this world. In our conversation the other night in which we pondered the actions of a man that I saw on the show “Secret Millionaire” who literally took the shoes off his own feet and gave them to an elderly man on skid row in L.A. who desperately needed them. We wondered and questioned ourselves as to whether we would actually be so selfless. As much as we would like to think that we are and that we would do something that generous and that kind hearted without so much as a second thought, we could not say with absolute certainty that we would. Given the fact that both of us have discussed many endeavors that we want to delve into in order for us to be in the position to help someone in such a grand way it was pretty shocking for both of us to have come to that reality.

The mark we leave behind in this world should not be notebooks and pads of paper filled with the good intentions that we had planned on doing when we got to the point where we could do them. Ms. L says it best in her post today when she talks about how even the small things that you can see fit to do is still a big thing because it’s the best that we are doing with what we have right now. Frankly, someone giving $10.00 is just as valuable as the person giving $10,000 if the person giving the $10.00 is giving what might be their last little bit they have to give. The value should not be placed in the dollar amount that a person gives but rather in the manner in which they give it and how open their heart is when they are giving it.

Sometimes we are so focused on the fact that we are not able to give all of what we would like to give to help those less fortunate that we end up not giving anything because we think it’s not enough. Every little bit counts and lord knows when I have been down on my luck I never cared whether someone was able to help me with a little or a lot because I looked at as something is better than nothing. Maybe we should think about the marks that we leave behind as just that. Not the grand gestures that we would love for them to be but the very best of ourselves that we have in us to give. Come the day that we are all judged I don’t think that God will be looking at one person who gave just $10.00 as not giving enough if he knew that was all that they had to give. You have to start somewhere or else the mark you leave behind will be no mark at all.

“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.”

“Our lives are a series of defining moments, strung together by passing time. Surrender fully to this moment, because it is not the moment itself that defines us, but how we choose to live in it.”

~Jill Pendley

Imagine having to make a decision today or tomorrow that can potentially define the direction your life takes in the future. In every person’s life there are choices to be made and more often than not the choices get harder to make the closer you get to where it is that you want to be in your life. We all have those moments, whether big or small, that will reshape our lives and define not only who we are and what direction we will take but also what we stand for. Your defining moments, whether positive or negative, will inevitably be the outline for your life and will help you to get some clarity about your life’s purpose and values. It is the way you choose to perceive those moments that will help guide you in one direction or another. The choice is always up to you.

There are times when you may find yourself standing still trying to figure out exactly what moment it was that changed the course of your life? What moment was it that made you the person you are today and would you change things if you could? Apart of being able to make good choices for ourselves is to be able to reflect on the bad decisions that we have made and to use those hard lessons to get it right the next time. There is a lesson to be learned in every experience but that’s not to say that we don’t sometimes need to make those bad choices in order for us to appreciate the times that we do get it right. The difference between a mediocre life and a great one is all in the way a person handles a handful of moments. How they choose to act and react to them. All of our greatest successes and our greatest failures are merely two sides of the same coin and it is all in the function of choice.

All of the moments that helped shape our lives are not going to be positive ones but it is in the challenges that are presented to us that we strive and persevere. Understanding the decisions you’ve made and where those choices have gotten you can make life a little less unpredictable and a lot less confusing and help you realize just where you veered off the course you thought you were on. In order to figure out where your life is headed sometimes you have to realize where your life has been. It provides great comfort knowing whether those decisions you’ve made along the way, good or bad, have helped make you who you are and knowing exactly what impact they have made in your life.

In everyday life you will find that someone is always making you doubt your choices and that life is somehow always trying to knock you down and it may even succeed at keeping you down for a while. It is you who have to take that particular moment in your life and figure out whether you are going to stay knocked down or if you are going to pick yourself back up off the ground and use that moment to empower you to move forward. At each and every crossroads you are free to choose between the high road and the low road. That defining moment is going to be in the decision that you make and that decision that you make could very well affect the course that your life ends up taking. Have you done everything you could’ve done in those moments that life has given you? What do your defining moments say about you and your life and?

Like this:

Faith isn’t the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. It’s simply taking God at his word and taking the next step.

~Joni Erickson Tada

There comes a point when you decide to make the decision that you want to be an artists full time, but you don’t entirely have the means and resources to make that work, in which you realize that there are going to be an insurmountable amount of stumbles and falls along the way. You might have even romanticized the whole starving artists’ concept and thought it might be cool to rise up from the ashes of despair and make it big proving all of the naysayers wrong. You have probably had more than your fair share of tiny miracles along the way that you didn’t expect but were lifesavers when they presented themselves. Well lately I’ve been feeling defeated and like I might actually be all out of my share of miracles.

In the creative world, we rely a lot on the favor of others and more importantly on the miracles that God provides us with. It’s not like other fields and industries where things are more certain and definitive. For us creative types it is more of a, go where the wind blows, kind of thing. I have went for quite some time now, not really knowing how things were going to work themselves out, just knowing that they would. I have had many moments where I didn’t know what was on the other side but I could see the bright, or sometimes dim, light at the end of a very long tunnel. So what do you do when you can’t see that light anymore and the length of the tunnel has become indefinite?

There are moments when I’ve looked at those bills that come in the mail, and the activities my child can’t do, or the clothes that she needs but I sometimes can’t buy, and I’ve wondered, is God going to leave me hanging this time? Of course I already know that the answer to that question is no but every now and then I feel like maybe I have asked for one too many miracles and one of these days God’s going to get tired of me burdening him. I feel like I should have all of this stuff figured out by now and I should be able to go a long period of time without begging him for his favor.

Logically I do know that through God all things are possible and I realize that God’s love and his favor is limitless and that the miracles that he provides us with are endless. . If people are going to make anything happen in this life the best thing that they could do is to have faith. Faith that things are going to be okay and that God is not going to put you through anything more than what you can handle. Faith in yourself and in the talents and gifts that God has given you and the purpose that he has given your life. Faith that you are not going to really ever run out of miracles so long as you keep reaching out your hands to receive them. From one starving artists’ to all the others, treasure all of your miracles and even when you are doubtful of yourself and your talent, step out on faith and let God do all the rest.

No one ever gets anywhere in life by resolving to never step out of their comfort zone. So today think of all of the risks that you are afraid to take and all of the opportunities that you are afraid to make the changes for and take a leap of faith. Nothing can ever change unless you change it.

Tips on becoming less resistant to change

Learn the power of saying YES!– anytime someone ask you to do something instead of being so quick to say no try saying yes every time (unless it’s illegal or something)

Try one new thing each week – make it something that ordinarily you would never do

Ask yourself “What is the worst that could Happen” – remember that nothing beats a failure but a try

Exercise Mindfulness– When there’s something that you are scared to try or in fear of identify with it and acknowledge that it’s there. Face it head on.

Realize that you are not perfect– If you try something new and it doesn’t work out just the way you wanted it to don’t get discouraged from trying other things that might work. Mistakes happen.

Like this:

Make a list of your aspirations- This makes your goals more real and tangible. Putting it down on paper makes it easier for you to visualize them becoming a reality.

Build yourself up- As you begin to check off those goals and aspirations from your list acknowledge to yourself what it is that you’ve accomplished. Celebrate your completed steps toward success.

Keep yourself anchored- Keep little visual reminders around you of what it is you want out of life and what your priorities are. Use your anchors (visual reminders) to help you continue to aim high in all that you do.

Be Grateful- Remember that whatever situation you are in there is someone out there that has it worse and that has to work through more of a battle to get where they’re going then you do. So be thankful for the life you have.

Always Treasure your time- Realize that achieving your goals should be rewarding every step of the way and not just when you get to the end. Make sure that when you are mapping out your future that you are also relishing in your present. Nothing causes more regret then letting the good times slip away.

Always find a way to learn something- There is a lesson in everything. Both your accomplishments and your failures hold lessons that you should be able to take something away from. Pay attention, look around, and learn from what you see. Also learn from the experience of others around you.

Like this:

“Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.”

~Robert J. Ringer

I am a writer of many things. Fiction of all types, poetry, articles that motivate and uplift, and articles that are meant to inform. No one who writes, unless they particularly write nothing but children’s fairytales, is going to always produce things that are considered motivating and uplifting. Some things that people write are just real. It comes from a place of reality and living in the present moment and in the knowledge of knowing that, as much as we would like it to be true, every moment of people’s lives is not going to always be happy and uplifting and completely void of negative obstacles. That’s just not the reality of things.

So when someone tells me that an article that I wrote to be informative and educate people, who may or may not know certain aspects of a health related disease, is stemming from a place of darkness and negativity it makes me want to literally curse them out and throw something, preferably at them. This particular person would like me to write of nothing but motivating and uplifting things and speak of absolutely nothing that might be negative. That’s not real for me.

For one I don’t consider the article that I wrote, “The Rise of Lung Cancer in Non-smoking women”, to be dark and negative. It simply is meant to inform people on things they may not even know concerning the disease. I was informed just by researching the subject. Secondly, I don’t feel like I have to be placed in this box as a writer of only writing and producing motivational articles. I like to write a little bit of everything but most importantly I like to keep whatever I write (except for fiction) very real.

The funny thing to me is that someone making that type of comment to me appeared and came off as completely negative. As if they were someone just trying to get me riled up and trying to plant seeds of doubt or self consciousness in my mind. It’s almost as if they somehow thought that this would make me just all of a sudden change my style of writing and the things that I put out there for the world to see.

Truthfully it did make me angry but it didn’t deter me from writing my way and on my terms. I write from the heart, whatever way I happen to feel, whatever information I want to convey or educate people with. While I do love when people like what it is that I have written, I write for me first and for the world second. Now maybe that’s wrong in some people’s eyes but if I wrote to try and please everyone else then I may possibly be the one who is not pleased with what I am writing and then I am no longer writing for the sheer love of writing.

My words to the world of writers today is to always stay true to who you are in your writing. Everyone is not going to like what you have to say but the important thing is that you say it, however you want to say it. Write for the moment you are living in and from the place you are coming from. Don’t ever let anyone else dictate what your voice as a writer should be.

“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”

~Arthur Golden

“That which doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger.” It’s a phrase that quite frankly I sometimes get tired of hearing but as cliché as it may sound the statement is very much true. Often times we get overwhelmed by things that are simply beyond our control and aren’t really able to step away from the situation and discover the value in the hardship. Difficult times can also be good times in the sense that our struggles not only make us better but they make us stronger as well. With life there comes adversity and while we don’t exactly expect it nor look for it and we most certainly don’t enjoy experiencing it, it is inevitable but most importantly it is necessary.

There are many faces of adversity and many lessons that it teaches us. One of the more important ones that I have come to take to heart is that when one door closes there will be another one to open. The thing is that you have to stop dwelling on the door that has just closed in order to see the other doors that are opening up for you. There are many starters in life, however, very few people actually finish what it is they started. When we want something and experience obstacles on the way to our goals we can’t just give up because it gets too hard. Everything that is meant for us to have in life is not going to come easily. Instead of focusing solely on the obstacles that are standing in our way we have to persevere long enough and have enough self-control and discipline in what it is that we want and go that extra mile to obtain it.

We can’t just get the sweet out of life without getting a little bit of the bitter. If there were nothing to challenge us how could we truly be able to enjoy our accomplishments and be proud of our successes? Part of succeeding through any adversity is hanging on even when deep down inside you really want to let go. It is in the bitter moments that we find our inner strengths and are able to discover what we are really made of. Adversity is bound to be a part of our lives but how well we come out on the other side of it greatly depends on the way we choose to face it. I think that with the bitter that we get in life we become even more equipped to appreciate the sweet and not take what it is that we do have for granted.

“If you live with a problem long enough it could eventually become your blessing.” Sometimes adversity presents itself in our lives solely for the purpose of change. Change in our beliefs, change in the way we think and the way we view things. Even change in the way that we view ourselves. Despite that little voice inside your head that constantly tells you that you can’t do it, there is a solution to every problem and a way to overcome any and every obstacle. You just have to change with the situation and keep reminding yourself that you can do anything as long as you have the determination and the will to do it. It isn’t the hardship in itself that stops us dead in our tracks on the way to our destination. It is us refusing to change the focus of where we are going and not being willing to accept that an obstacle has come along and we just have to change our course of action and redirect ourselves. I believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason and that there is a lesson in every mistake that we make and a blessing in every obstacle that we overcome. But if we don’t somehow embrace the situation and the cards that were dealt to us and stop wasting time dodging all of our roadblocks instead of facing them head on then we may just end up missing the bigger picture.

Like this:

I don’t know about most of you but Monday is the day that I set my goals that I want to achieve for the week (well really, it’s Sunday night but it’s in preparation for Monday). Putting together a to-do list for the week gives me motivation to really be proactive and achieve the things on that list. Here are some tips that maybe you could use to jump start your week.

Set realistic goals for yourself– Your goals must be realistic for you to achieve for long term sustainability. Clarify what has the highest priority and what are the things that absolutely must get accomplished in order to make your goals attainable (and by attainable I mean you know that if you make a two page list of things to do, more than likely everything will not get done).

Break it down– Rome wasn’t built in a day. If you expect things to happen overnight then you are setting yourself up for failure. Focus on breaking down your goals and take the small but important steps to achieve them. You’ll be amazed at how much motivation can come from doing such a simple action.

Monitor your progress– Be open and aware to what is happening. Always keep your goals in sight and monitor your progress toward them. Regular monitoring provides you with the guideposts to keep you on track.

Learn from your experiences– Always approach your goals with the aim of learning and developing. If you can learn from your experiences then your results will be much more rewarding and sustainable. Keep asking yourself what works for you and align your actions with the answer.

Reflect and Reward– When you achieve your goals, or even the little milestones on the way, make sure you reflect on your experiences and draw out the positive aspects you learned from them. Plan your rewards when you set your goals and go for it and if by the end of the week you have achieved even just half of your list celebrate the accomplishments instead of dwelling on what tasks didn’t get accomplished. It doesn’t mean that the goals you set were not attainable, just sometimes life happens and things don’t get done. Whatever you didn’t get to this week can just be placed on next week’s list.

Focus on your potential– Begin by making a complete assessment of yourself. Take a mental inventory of your talents and the things that you do well.

Find your strengths– Focusing on what your strengths are is important. There may be things that you are good at and do well but they are not your strong point. It is important to know the difference in something that you do well and what you are strong at doing.

Setting Goals– Setting goals for yourself must involve you being realistic. Only set goals that you first, want to actually achieve, and second, that are possible for you to achieve. Setting the impossible goals only makes you frustrated when you don’t accomplish them.

Powerful Visualization– Get into the habit of visualizing your success. Don’t just sit around and daydream about getting where you need to be in life, actually get there. You need to visualize the specifics of exactly what it is that you want and what it will take to get there.

Improve Your Level of Efficiency– To develop your full potential becoming a more efficient person and getting more done in less time so that you can take advantage of the opportunities that you make for yourself is key.

You have to beat procrastination– The first step in beating procrastination is to admit to yourself how often you do it and assess your methods of doing it. Also planning ahead and becoming more organized also helps with procrastination.