Wedding Traditions

Ancient Romans studied pig entrails to determine the luckiest time to marry

Seeing a pig on the way to the ceremony is supposed to bring bad luck.

Cats

If a cat sneezes before the wedding, the marriage will be long and happy.

Encountering a black cat on the way to a ceremony is supposed to bring good luck for the marriage.

The bride should feed the family cat on her wedding day – this is thought to bring lasting marital happiness.

A week before the wedding, have a house- cat eat out of your left shoe for good luck.

The prudent bride will feed the cat before leaving for the church. Such an act will ensure her happiness.

Good Luck Omens

Encountering a pigeon, wolf or goat on the way to the ceremony would bring extremely good fortune in the marriage.

It is considered good luck for the bride to encounter a lamb or dove on her wedding day.

The bride is supposed to be especially lucky if she finds a spider in her wedding gown. Ugh!!!

Bad Luck Omens

Seeing a pig or lizard on the way to the ceremony, or hearing a crow after dawn on the morning of the wedding are all thought to be omens of bad luck.

Country brides fear the crowing of a cock after dawn of the wedding day.

Altar PositioningThis tradition dates back to the days of marriage by capture. The groom had to constantly defend himself against rival suitors – even when the couple was already at the altar, set to say vows. After the bridegroom captured the bride, he placed her on his left to protect her, thus freeing his right hand or sword hand against sudden attack. The groom needed his right hand (his sword hand) free to fight. The bride stood at his left, safe from would be kidnappers or any random sword, swoosh! (This is a Christian custom; in Jewish weddings, the bride stands on the groom’s right).Arranged MarriagesThis was where the groom’s family told him who he was to marry. Parents very rarely let the groom see the bride, because if he didn’t like her looks, he may have refused to marry her. Therefore, the father of the bride gave the bride away to the groom, who lifted the veil to see her for the first time, normally after the wedding ceremony or in the bridal chamber (bedroom).Bachelor Parties/Stag NitesIn almost all ancient cultures, the bachelor dinner was a prevalent custom. The bachelor’s party is said to have dated back to the soldiers of ancient Sparta. The groom feasted with his male friends the night before the wedding, thereby pledging his loyalty and friendship to them. The Spartan friend more than likely provides the “loose women”, drink and good times for true male “bonding”. The function of this rite of passage was simply to say goodbye to the wild escapades of bachelorship while swearing the groom’s continued allegiance to his comrades. This is was also the last chance before his new wife took over the finances for the groom to gather money by gambling for his own future use.Best Man

It is the Best Man’s duty to protect the groom from bad luck. He must ensure that once the groom has begun his journey to the church, he does not return for any reason.

The Best Man must also arrange for the groom to carry a small mascot or charm in his pocket on the wedding day.

When the Best Man is paying the church minister’s fee, he should pay him an odd sum to bring luck to the couple.

Many centuries ago, before the women’s rights movement, men who had decided upon a wife often had to forcefully take her with him (or kidnap her) if her family did not approve of him. The groom-to-be sometimes face resistance from her male family members or from competing suitors who would fight him off. The groom would therefore bring along his “Best Men” to help him fight for the woman. Today the Best Man and ushers are honorary positions.

Another legend is that during ancient times, when women were in short supply, the groom captured his bride-to-be from a neighbouring village. The future bridegroom, accompanied by a male companion, seized any young girl who had strayed from the safety of her parental home. Our custom of a “Best Man” is a relic of that two-man, strong-armed tactic; for such an important task, only the Best Man would do.

A Best Man, around AD 200, carried more than a ring. Since there remained the real threat of the bride’s family attempting to forcibly gain her return, the Best Man, stayed by the groom’s side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert and armed. He also might serve as a sentry outside the newlywed’s home. Of course, much of this is German folklore, but it is not without written documentation and physical artefacts. For instance, the threat or recapture by the bride’s family was perceived as so genuine that beneath the church altars of many early peoples – including the Huns, the Goths, the Visigoths and the Vandals, lay an arsenal of clubs, knives and spears.

Bridal BouquetTossing of the bridal bouquet is a custom which has its roots in England. It was believed that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In order to obtain this fortune, spectators would try to tear away pieces of the bride’s clothing and flowers. In attempt to get away, the bride would toss her bouquet into the crowd. Tradition says that the single woman who catches the bouquet is the one who receives the bride’s fortune and will marry next. She keeps the bouquet to ensure this destiny.

It is therefore customary, near the end of the reception, for the single female guests to gather around the bride who will throw her bouquet over her shoulder for one of them to catch. Originally, the bride would actually throw one of her shoes over her shoulder during this ritual.Bridal ShowerIt is believed that the first bridal shower took place in Holland when a maiden fell in love with a poor miller. Her father forbade the marriage, but the miller’s friends “showered” the brides with gifts so she would be able to marry without the benefit of the traditional dowry which helped most brides set up housekeeping. Years later, an English woman heard of a good friend who was to be married and wanted to give her a gift to express her congratulations. But the gift seemed too small. Remembering the story of the Dutch girl and the miller, she called the bride’s friends and suggested they present their gifts at the same time. The party was so successful that others tried it, and bridal showers have been held ever since.

Bridal showers were also meant to strengthen the friendships between the bride and her friends, give her moral support and help her prepare for her marriage.

At one bridal shower, the bride’s friends placed small gifts inside a Japanese parasol, and then opened it over the bride’s head so all of the presents would “shower” over her. When word of this hit the fashion pages, people were so charmed, they decided to do the same at their bridal showers.

When the bride-to-be is opening her gifts, it is said that for every ribbon she breaks, she will have one child.

The first gift the bride-to-be opens should be the first gift she uses.

The person who gives the third gift to be opened will soon have a baby.

Everything the bride says as she opens her gifts will be repeated on her wedding night.

Any friend can give a bridal shower, tradition dictates that it not be someone from the couple’s immediate family. Bridal showers today may even include the groom. There are several types of bridal parties. Some themes include specific items for the following:

To fool demons that might take away the joy of the bride and groom, their friends dressed similarly to them. If the evil spirits were unable to tell them apart, then ill fortune would not befall the newlyweds. There was safety in numbers on the wedding day. The focus of the malevolence was the bridal couple, but, if each were in a group surrounded by other young men or women similarly dressed, it confused the demons that were unable to identify their intended victims.

It is also written that long ago, in Anglo Saxon times, the groom would be accompanied by his friends (“brides-men” or “brides-knights”) to help kidnap his bride and defend him from anyone who might stop him, or worse, try to steal her away! In later, more “civilised” times, the bride travelled to the groom’s home with her “escorts”, who protected her and the dowry from robbers.

BridesmaidsDating back to more sinister time, the bridesmaid’s traditional role was to help the best man protect the bride from the groom’s rival.Bridesmaids were dressed in a similar way to the bride for the same reason as origin of veil. The bridesmaids were thought to act as decoys to confuse evil spirits and thus protect the bride (also see “Bridal Party”). Another legend states that it was once common for the bride, her groom and all their friends to walk together to the church on the morning of the wedding. Afraid that someone, maybe a rejected suitor, would spot the happy couple and put a curse on them, the groom’s friends wore clothes almost identical to his, and the women costumed themselves like the bride. These disguises tricked evil wishers into letting the real bride and groom live happily ever after. Today attendees are dressed alike for the beauty and pageantry of the event. The Chief BridesmaidThe chiefbridesmaid would keep a piece of cake in her pocket for the duration of the couple’s honeymoon if she wished to marry soon. Throwing Shoes at BridesmaidsIn Anglo Saxon times, the bride was symbolically struck with a shoe by her groom to establish his authority. Brides would throw shoes at their bridesmaids to see who they would marry next. A Tripping BridesmaidA bridesmaid who trips whilst travelling down the aisle shall always be a spinster. The only way to escape this is to catch a bride’s bouquet in the future.Bride to Glance in Her MirrorIt is considered good luck for the fully attired bride to glance in her mirror just once before leaving for her wedding, but bad luck to return to look again after she has left the bedroom to commence her journey to the wedding.Carrying the Bride over the ThresholdI have found numerous explanations for this tradition as shown below.

The custom of carrying the bride over the threshold stems from the same belief that aroused the idea of runway carpet and strewing the aisle with flowers and petals. It was an ancient belief that the newly married couple was very susceptible to evil spirits. By carrying the bride and supplying a protective layer between the floor and bride, she would be protected from the ground monster.

Generations ago it was considered lady-like for the new bride to be, or appear to be, hesitant “give herself” to her new husband, whether or not she truly was. At the threshold to the bridal chamber, the husband would often have to carry the bride over the threshold to “encourage” her to go in.

Tradition dictates the new house must enter her home by the main door, and to avoid bad luck, must never trip or fall. From that we get the bride being carried over the threshold.

During the days of “Marriage by Capture”, the bride was certainly not going to go peacefully into the bridegroom’s abode, thus she was dragged or carried over the threshold. In even earlier times, it was believed that family demons followed the woman and to keep her family demons from going into the groom’s home, she was carried over the threshold upon her entering for the first time. After that, the demons could not enter as she would come in and go out of the home.

Another explanation is that the bride will be unlucky if she steps into the new home with the left foot first. The bride can avoid this by being carried.

It was tradition for the family to anoint the door-post with fine oil and herbs. For this reason, the groom would carry the bride over the threshold so she would not slip.

Another reason is that abride is carried over the threshold into the “Honeymoon”. It is said that to sweeten the marriage, the couple’s family would paint honey on the door frame of their new home. The groom must then lift the bride so as to not ruin her dress.

Child AttendantsChildren were originally included in the ceremony to add innocence. Choosing the Day Monday for wealth Tuesday for Health Wednesday the best day of all Thursday for losses Friday for crosses Saturday for no luck at all FridaysFridays were also considered unlucky particularly Friday the 13th. The famous old rhyme (above) advises a wedding in the first half of the week. SaturdaysAlthough a lot of weddings now take place on a Saturday, it was considered unlucky in the past. Today, Saturday is the busiest day, despite the rhyme. SundaySunday used to be the most popular day, as it was the only one day most people were free from work. Puritans in the 17th century, however, put a stop to this, believing it was improper to be festive on the Sabbath.Choosing the Month Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind & true, When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate. If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know. Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden & for Man. Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day. Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go. Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred. Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine. If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry. If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember. When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last. As for the time of year, the saying 'Marry in the month of May, and you'll live to rue the day' dates back to Pagan times. May, the start of summer, was dedicated to outdoor orgies (ie the summer festival Beltane), hardly the best way to begin married life! Queen Victoria is said to have banned her children from marrying in May, and Nineteenth Century Vicars were rushed of their feet on April 30th because Brides refused to marry during May. The sun has always been associated with sexual stimulation and, therefore future fertility. In Scotland it was traditional for the Bride to 'walk with the sun', proceeding from east to west on the south side of the church and then circling the Church three times 'sunwise' for good luck.Chimney Sweeps There are many myths and traditions associated with chimney sweeps. Many of the reasons for are lost in the mist of time, but here are a few.

One reason from folklore is that on one occasion, King George II’s carriage horses bolted and the only person to attempt to stop them was a small, sooty figure of a man – a chimney sweep.

Others say it stems from ancient beliefs in the sacred nature of ordinary everyday objects or features of nature. In this case, the household fire and hearth. Fire has always been a phenomenon to respect – even worship, and for thousands of years it has been a symbol of life and survival throughout the world.

It is considered extremely good luck, if on the journey to the Church you see a chimney sweep and even greater good luck if you see the sweep’s brush emerging outof the top of the chimney. If you see a chimney sweep after the wedding ceremony, this is supposed to bring good fortune to the newly married couple.

Tradition has it, that a chimney sweep should be treated extremely warmly or bowed to. Some say that you should also spit on the floor and make a wish. The only criterion is that is that you first catch sight of him walking towards you. If he is walking away then it is a sign of bad news to come.

To spread his luck, the chimney sweep must also be in full work gear, sporting a blackened, grubby face. A clean sweep is no use to the superstitious because his powers are said to work only when he is wearing the clothes he wears as a chimney sweep.

To ensure their good fortune, some brides and grooms will employ a real live chimney sweep to be present on their wedding day as did Stephen Hendry, the World Snooker Player when he married. The film “Mary Poppins” had a sweep (Dick Van Dyke) who portrayed a good luck character. Chim chiminey Chim chiminey Chim chim cher-ee! A sweep is as lucky As lucky can be Chim chiminey Chim chiminey Chim chim cher-oo! Good luck will rub off when I shake 'ands with you Or blow me a kiss And that's lucky too ChurchThe bride should step into the church with her right foot to ensure good luck. Colour of Wedding GownThere is an old saying that “the bride wore a green gown”. This implies that she was promiscuous before marriage and refers to the image of her rolling around in grassy fields with a young man the green was because her dress would be grass-stained due to rolling around in the fields. Hence “Married in green, ashamed to be seen”. White Dresses were made popular by Queen Victoria, and Symbolised purity and virginity, white was also thought to ward off evil spirits. Married in White, you have chosen right Married in Grey, you will go far away, Married in Black, you will wish yourself back, Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead, Married in Green, ashamed to be seen, Married in Blue, you will always be true, Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl, Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow, Married in Brown, you will live in the town, Married in Pink, you spirit will sink. ConfettiConfetti is Italian for sweets, which in Italy are thrown over the couple as they emerge from the Church in that same way we use, paper confetti. Raisins and nuts may also be used. Before the use of paper confetti, the married couple were showered with flowers, petals, rice or grains. This was to bestow prosperity and fertility on the couple. Flower GirlThe flower girl’s role in the wedding dates from the Middles Ages. Two little girls, usually sisters, dressed alike and carried wheat before the bride in the marriage procession, symbolising the wish that the marriage would be fruitful. Later, flowers replaced the wheat, and it become customary to strew the flowers on the ground before the bride. The Garter Toss

The garter toss is one of the oldest surviving wedding traditions. This ritual dates back to a time before woman wore hose with a garter belt. It was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune of the groom. Today, it is believed that the man who catches the garter when it is thrown will be the next to marry. In the 14th century, it was customary for the bride to toss her garter to the men, but sometimes the men got too drunk, and would become impatient and try to take the garter off her, ahead of time.

There is also an old British tradition called "flinging the stocking". After the ceremony the wedding guests would rush into the couple's bedroom and take their stocking, and the first guest to throw the stocking and hit either the bride or groom on the nose was the next to have a wedding.