Newly single George Clooney is allegedly having a "fling" with boob-punching blonde Stacy Keibler, WWE "Diva" wrestler and Dancing with the Stars finalist. I once watched a video of the lanky, model-thin Keibler wrestling a lady with big fake boobs. It was like watching a praying mantis devour a bunch of grapes. Sidenote: Did you know WWE Divas have an event called a "bra and panties" match, in which the goal is to strip your opponent's clothes off, then kick her in the face while she cowers in naked shame? There's a Women's Studies PhD thesis waiting to happen on this topic. [L&S, Images via Getty and StacyK.org]

Carey Mulligan is engaged to boyfriend of five months and childhood pen pal Marcus Mumford, a singer. [Us]

Kim Kardashian is copying Kate Middleton's wedding cake, which means trashy bridezillas nationwide will soon be copying it, too. By the time your second-cousin-once-removed Sierra Rose copies it, it will be a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy, a rapidly degenerating replicant with a secret plot to someday rise up with its fellow clone cakes, and destroy humankind. Clone cake uprising weapon of choice: Diabetic coma. [Us]

Val Kilmer's ex-wife says he's a deadbeat dad. To avoid taking Heat and becoming a Felon, he's agreed to pay The Missing $27,500 in back child support. If you can find a way to fit The Ten Commandments: The Musical into that sentence, please do. [TMZ]

Hugh Hefner, stiff as a board. Planking is rapidly accelerating into its post-ironic phase. Next up: Dancefloor at The Wiggles' concerts. [Superficial, @SheraBechard]

During Dancing with the Stars, Kirstie Alley was all, "Ooh la la, I totally want to fuck my dance partner," because ratings, baby. But now the show's over and she still wants to fuck him, which means it's actually about feelings, which is soooo inappropriate! Real feelings! What is this, an episode of Sweet Valley High? Feelings are for chumps, serious celebrities only mate for attention-grabbing and social climbing purposes. Dancing partner and lust object Maksim Chmerkovskiy is totally skeeved out. [P6]

Vanessa Minnillo's mother was not invited to her wedding. They are estranged, and haven't spoken in 12 years because the mother "had a terrible temper." [Radar]

Gwyneth Paltrow never asks Chris Martin for help with music: "[He's] a musical genius. It's like living with Picasso and being like, 'Should I make a little something-something?'" Like the time Picasso helped his niece crotchet a toilet seat cover. Brilliant use of color, lovely texture. [Elle, People]

Demi Lovato on her stint on Barney & Friends at the age of 9: "That's when I fell in love with performing, the smell of the set, the way the lights felt on my skin." The warm embrace of a purple singing dinosaur: a classic "How I Got Started in Hollywood" story, much like being discovered waiting tables, or fellating a director to get cast in a PSA about bath salts. [Elle]

Countess LuAnn of Crackerjacks has been roaming the bars of Manhattan, singing her song. Consider yourself warned. [P6]

Bubba Smith, Police Academy star and NFL defensive end, has died at the age of 66. R.I.P. [TMZ, Deadspin]