Archive for November, 2016

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.

One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

‘I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’

I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy and jewelry. The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying, it’s about giving. True romance is in gestures.

1.

Let go of the belief that you have to have everything figured out right now. That you have to know exactly who you want to be, exactly what you want to do, exactly who you want to have a life with. Be okay with the fact that you’re going to go through life feeling blind and unsteady and never fully sure of what you’re doing, because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

2.

Let go of the idea that people are either 100% good or 100% bad. Focus on learning as much as you can about a person, about their past and their present and their struggles and their pain, before you succumb to the human instinct of instant judgement.

3.

Let go of your hatred of your body. Understand that it’s okay to want to be healthy, to want to be proud of your body, and to want to look good and feel well. But also understand that you are only mortal, that there will always be something that you don’t like about yourself, and that it’s more of a journey of figuring out how to love yourself anyway than it is about ‘fixing’ what you are convinced is wrong with you.

4.

Let go of your anger towards the friends who have hurt you but have also repeatedly tried to make it up to you. Forgive them, bring them back into your life, and watch how much happier and lighter you are because of it.

5.

Let go of friends who don’t put effort into your relationship. It doesn’t have to be a fight, or a dramatic, official goodbye. But let go of the energy that you spend on them that never gets returned. Come to peace with it, and with them. Be okay with the fact that you can still love them while also letting them go, in order to make room for the friends who always meet you halfway.

6.

Let go of the idea that you must be right all the time. You’re human and you make mistakes and sometimes you’re wrong and that’s okay, as long as you own up to it.

7.

Let go of your belief that it’s too late to start the career that you actually want. It is never too late.

8.

Let go of people who make you feel like you have to change in order to be loved by them.

9.

Let go of your passivity, of the tendency to watch life as it happens to you instead of taking charge of it yourself. Stop convincing yourself that you don’t have that much control over your life, that this is the job you’re stuck with or this is the city you’re stuck with or this is the partner you’re stuck with and you just have to deal with it, even if it makes you unhappy. Decide for yourself that you are powerful enough to change things, then start small and don’t stop.

10.

Let go of the idea that anxiety or depression are things to be ashamed about. Be kind to yourself, get the help you need and deserve, and understand that you are not alone.

11.

Let go of the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect. Embrace your flaws, embrace your screwups, embrace all the reasons why you are not perfect and figure out the numerous ways that they actually make you stronger.

12.

Let go of bitterness over tiny things – traffic, loud people on the train, an annoying coworker. Stop letting the little things ruin your day. They can become pretty powerful, if you let them.

13.

Let go of mediocrity, of any tendency you have to not give it your all. Don’t be a mediocre friend, a mediocre employee, a mediocre partner. Don’t feel mediocre about your job and don’t feel mediocre about the things you spend your time on outside of your job. Work towards greatness, in everything that you do. It doesn’t mean you have to be great at everything all the time, but you have to at least aim for it.

14.

Let go of negative self-talk. Of telling yourself that you’re not good enough or you’re not successful enough or that you are undeserving of love. You will probably never fully get to this point, of being truly immune to negative self-talk. But you can certainly make a dent in decreasing it, and in making a conscious effort to be more kind and loving towards yourself.

15.

Let go of wasting stupid amounts of money on things that are not worth it or things you don’t care about.

16.

Let go of the loud world you let yourself live in, with constant notifications and noise and scrolling and liking and sharing and clicking. Let yourself have some peace, or even just a moment to live in your own mind and to listen to your own thoughts, without someone or something trying to steal your attention.

17.

Let go of toxic thoughts, toxic things, toxic people, your own toxic behavior. Focus on being kind, on putting more goodness into the world, on giving and loving and making other people happy and relishing in how happy that makes you in return. Spread love and spread light.

So, you have $86,400 in your account, and someone steals $10 from you, would you be upset and throw the rest of the $86,390 away in hopes of getting back at the person who took your $10? Or move right on and live? RIGHT! move right on and live? See, we have 86,400 seconds in every day, so don’t let someone’s negative 10 seconds (comment, words, post, action or article) ruin the rest of the 86,390! Don’t sweat the small stuff, life is bigger than that. – Michael Sloggett

Listen to your heart; start recognizing when something isn’t good for you and be strong enough to let it go. A person can only waste the time you give them an opportunity to waste. Stop trying to open doors for people who constantly shut you out. Make sure the interest is shown in the effort, the talk is supported by the actions, and the trust is earned through the consistency.
~RobertHillSr.

Don’t be so hard on yourself for not having it together all the time, for not knowing all the answers. You don’t always have to be sure of who you are, otherwise there’ be nothing left to discover. You don’t have to know where you’re headed or have a clear vision of the bigger picture. Sometimes taking one tiny step at a time is more than enough. Sometimes slowing down just to feel the wind blow against you is the beauty of life right there. Wander, be unsure when it is natural to be. Let yourself breathe. We’re all rushing for no reason anyway.
–S.C Lourie

Deep down inside we know that the best gifts don’t come from catalogs or shopping malls. They don’t come in brightly-colored packages or fancy envelopes and they’re not hiding in a closet for you to open on Christmas morning. The best gifts come from the heart. They come when we look at each other, REALLY look at each other and say: “You mean a lot to me or I’m so glad you’re part of my life”. A gift like that will never go out of style or be forgotten or be returned for a different size. A gift like that can make someone’s day, change someone’s life or even save a life.
~Ron Atchison.

“I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

When people make you feel unwanted, don’t leave to make them feel sad or guilty, they won’t. Leave because you no longer have a reason to stay. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not – won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.

A Good Relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future. So don’t rush love. Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world and trust that you will come back. This is what true love is all about.

“Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

Never beg for love. Never beg someone to love you back or be with you when you want to. Never beg for someone’s time, commitment, affection and attention. Never beg someone to stay with you when you need him the most. Because in the first place, if he loves you that much, he won’t leave you and let go of your hand. He will never let you beg for his presence and love because he will give it to you with open arms. Don’t beg, it’s demeaning and degrading. Remember, if you have to beg, he’s not worth it. No one is worth begging for.
~ baekebyan

HERE’S THE THING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH GOOD HEARTS. Here’s the thing about people with good hearts. They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept apologies you don’t give. They see the best in you when you don’t need them to. At your worst, they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside. The word “busy” does not exist in their dictionary. They make time, even when you don’t. And you wonder why they’re the most sensitive people. You wonder why they’re the most caring people. You wonder why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return. You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they’ve earned and you accepted the love you think you’re entitled to. Let me tell you something. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of no where. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.

When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride – it’s self-respect. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Psychologists established a strong link between one’s sleeping position and the way they view the world. In fact, scientists believe that a sleeping person’s body language never lies.

What does your sleeping position mean?

Determine your favorite sleeping position and check out the interpretation;

1. Sleeping on your back

As a rule, sleeping in this position means you’re feeling quite relaxed. It’s a sign of confidence and psychological power. Confident people are always ready to take in new information and make new acquaintances. However, confidence can often turn into arrogance. Spreading your arms and legs wide and taking up a lot of space on the bed would be a definite sign.

2. Fetal position

This position characterized by sleeping on your side with your legs often pressed up against your belly, and your arms wrapped around your body or the blanket. People who sleep in this position usually stay in one corner of the bed and like to sleep next to a wall. This position indicates that a person feels insecure or uncertain, and doesn’t feel like engaging in situations and events happening around them. They need a ‘guardian’, someone who can take care of them and protect them from life’s challenges.

3. Sleeping on your belly

This position is characterized by sleeping on your belly hugging the bed with your arms. A person will normally rest their arms on the pillow or alongside their body, with their legs straightened. A person who sleeps predominantly in this position likes to take charge and make his own decisions in life. They often don’t take criticism very well, as they believe their own actions and decisions are usually the ‘correct’ ones. This sleeping position indicates the person is stubborn and extremely driven to achieve their goal, as well as attentive to detail.

4. Sleeping on the side

The last sleeping position is characterized by sleeping on your side, but not curled up in a ball like the first one. Your arms and legs are stretched out, or slightly bent. As a rule, this position can be distinguished from the fetal position as the body tends to look more relaxed. People who prefer this sleeping position have an analytical mindset, are stable and reliable. They find it quite easy to adapt to any situation in life, and can overcome hardships without possessing the extraordinary mental strength or any kind of special qualities.

5. The snorer – The snorer is often easily irritated, usually within seconds they can become aggressive. Probably because they don’t get enough sleep.

Cuddling is one of the closest and most romantic things you can do with your partner. It is more than just mere intimacy, it is a comforting message. It tells your partner that you are there for them, they are safe with you in your arms, and they are warm and they are protected. Studies have shown that couples who cuddle more often stay happier and have a better life together because they share a whole new level of comfort and love that not even sex can bring.

Show up for people. Offer what you can. Be unselfish. Love people when they need it, even when you feel they don’t deserve it. Be a healer. Be kind. Show up for people. Because when you’re hurting you’ll want someone to show up for you. ~alex elle

I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow, and the next day and even next week.
In 4 months, I will love you, just like I loved you yesterday. 40 years from now, I’ll run my hands through my grey hair and smile at the thought of how much I love you. I just hope you’ll be with me through all that time.

I hope one day you will realizeI did truly care for you. I promise you, you will miss me being there, putting up with you, and refusing to give up on you. You’re going to regret everything you’ve done to me, including all the damage you caused. Someday, you’ll look back and wish things could be different. I might have been worthless to you, but I am of great value to myself.~Unknown

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, Smiles when sadness intrudes, Rainbows to follow the clouds, Laughter to kiss your lips, Sunsets to warm your heart, Hugs when spirits sag, Beauty for your eyes to see, Friendships to brighten your being , Faith so that you can believe, Confidence for when you doubt, Courage to know yourself. Patience to accept the truth and Love to complete your life.”

The 10 Canine Commandments

1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from
you will be painful for me. Remember that when you buy me.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me – it’s cruicial for my well-being.

4. Don’t be angry at me for long, and don’t lock me up as punishment.

You have your work, your entertainment and your friends. I have only you.

5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I
understand your voice when it’s speaking to me.

6. Be aware of however you treat me, I’ll never forget it.

7. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily
crush the bones in your hands, but that I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinant or lazy,
ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not
getting the right food, or I’ve been out in the sun or in the cold too
long, or my heart is getting old and weak.

9. Take care of me when I get old. You too, will grow old.

10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say: ‘I can’t bear to watch
it’, ‘let it happen in my absence’ or ‘I am tired of you’. Everything is
easier for me if you are there. Remember, I love you.

~Author Unknown

I want to thank the people who make my life happy in so many ways. Sometimes I forget to tell them how much I really do appreciate them for being an important part of my life. So thank you, all of you, just for being here for.

Some of the difficult moments in life is giving someone a hug when you need it the most. Fighting back the tears in your eyes to wipe off someone else’s tears. Listening to somebody’s grief when you want your pain to be heard. Being the reason for someone’s smile when your own smile is lost. To bless someone else while you are going through your own storm. To be the strong one, you know?

She’s a good hearted woman. She’s been hurt over and over again. And you would expect her to be heartless by now but her heart is so full of love that she continues to love deeply. All she needs is a good person that will cherish her and give her heart the extra love that she deserves.

Your Mother is always with you. She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself. She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well, she’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning. Your mother lives inside your laughter. She’s the place you came from, your first home, and she’s the map you follow with every step you take. She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you.Not time, not space, not even death.

As you get older you start doing things in reverse. You start cutting people out from your life. Your Christmas list becomes practically nonexistent. You don’t need to be the first in line for everything. You take less pictures because some memories are best kept in your heart and not your hard drive. And instead of looking for love, you dig for it from within.
— Bookmarks in my life

Life happens. But it is up to us to whether or not, allow people, places, and things from our past have power to continue to control our present. Now I’m not one to sit here and say something as insulting as “it’s easy” because it isn’t. Sometimes letting go of people or events from our past can be one of the hardest things we’ve ever done. But you can do it. I’ve done it. The truth is, anger, resentment, wanting to get even, being afraid, or feeling insecure around a person or in a situation can weigh you down. But to let go – it’s the only way that you can move fully into the present and give yourself the clarity to focus on the best possible future for yourself. Each “new” day, is a gift for all of us, to say: ” Nothing is going to weight me down, I am the boss of my future. No person can take this gift away from me! ~ Brigitte Nicole

Find someone who openly communicates their feelings. Someone who realizes that you’re not perfect and never expects you to be. Someone who would never want to lose you and feels so blessed to be with you. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says I love you and means it. Last but not least, find someone who looks forward to a future with you and with each and every new day, falls in love with you all over again.
-Brigitte Nicole

You deserve honesty. You deserve transparency. You deserve someone who respects you enough to never lie to your heart. You deserve appreciation. You deserve loyalty. You deserve someone who would never abuse your trust. You deserve love. You deserve someone who would still be there for you even when everyone else has walked away. You deserve someone who’s real. Never settle for less. — Trent Shelton

“I think the sign of a true soulmate isn’t someone you just want to do the super cool stuff with. A real soulmate is the person who makes any ordinary day fun. Some people make all these huge plans to do with their special someone, forget that. Find someone who you can take grocery shopping and still have a blast with. Find someone who makes you look forward to waking up on Monday.”

Motherhood takes you to heaven and hell every day. It erases your past and amplifies it at the same time. It destroys and rebuilds you, slowly and carefully: replacing the cracked, broken bricks with stronger ones with no anesthesia.

Motherhood kills the old you; it doesn’t care who you think you are, only who you must be in this moment to meet the needs of the ones you invited into this world.

And somehow, by feeding that child, loving that child, wiping that child’s tears from their damp cheeks, pouring water over that child’s head as you sit beside them, uncomfortable and damp next to the bathtub, you become the gentlest of warriors.

Motherhood is a bridge that you walk alone, but as you look to your left and to your right, you see others on their own bridges, navigating the rickety planks of swaying wood. And as you see them struggling just like you are not to fall, it gives you the courage to take one more step.

Motherhood is painfully lonely, but at 3 o’clock in the afternoon whether you’re sitting on the living room floor with a child who doesn’t know your real name or at 3 o’clock in the morning with a child who needs your steady tapping on their pajama-ed back, you’re not alone because all over the world, mothers are doing the same thing. Their minds wander through the garden of their imaginations and memories, dreaming of sleep and rest, but powered by the fiercest of love.

The love that one pours into their child doesn’t come from the heart. Anyone can be in love. Anyone can be infatuated. The type of love one has for their child comes from the center of their bones. It’s the type of love that doesn’t need reciprocation to burn hot. It’s the type of love that never keeps score. It’s the type of love that powers nature in her infinite beauty and ruthlessness.

When a mother says, “I love you,” she doesn’t mean “I love how you make me feel” she means “You are my world, my sun and my moon and not life or death can change that, wherever you are I will find you whether it be across seas or lost within yourself. You are my breath and the light inside my eyes.”

Check yourself. Sometimes you are the toxic person. Sometimes you are the mean, negative person you’re looking to push away. Sometimes the problem is you. And that doesn’t make you less worthy. Keep on growing. Keep on checking yourself. Keep on motivating yourself. Mistakes are opportunities. Look at them, own them, grow from them and move on. Do better, be better. You’re human. It’s okay.

You start dying slowly if you do not travel, if you do not read, If you do not listen to the sounds of life, If you do not appreciate yourself. You start dying slowly When you kill your self-esteem; When you do not let others help you. You start dying slowly If you become a slave of your habits, Walking everyday on the same paths… If you do not change your routine, If you do not wear different colours Or you do not speak to those you don’t know. You start dying slowly If you avoid to feel passion And their turbulent emotions; Those which make your eyes glisten And your heart beat fast. You start dying slowly If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love, If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain, If you do not go after a dream, If you do not allow yourself At least once in your lifetime, To run away from sensible advice… By Pablo Neruda

Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored. You could tell them anything and they would never judge you…this person is your soul mate, your best friend…don’t ever let them go.

I’ve been walked on, used and forgotten and I don’t regret one moment of it because in those moments, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned who I can trust and can’t. I’ve learned the meaning of friendship. I’ve learned how to tell when people are lying and when they’re sincere. I’ve learned how to be tough when necessary, and how to grow up when I need to. I’ve been to hell and back a few times, and I won’t ever take what I have for granted. This is life, live it one day at a time. You never know how many days you’ve got left. — Unknown

Marry someone you love with your whole heart. Someone who excites you emotionally, intellectually and sexually. Someone who “gets” you and isn’t out to change you. Nothing good will ever come of not being true to yourself. Marry your best friend. Find a person you want to share things with — from the smallest detail of your day to the biggest plans for your life. Marry someone you want to be with at the end of each day and until the end of your days. Never get married because you think it’s time; get married because you’ve found the right person — no matter how much time that takes. Marry someone with a beautiful soul. A person who isn’t afraid to show love or be loved. Find the person who encourages you to be your best self. When you do, be good to them. Express your gratitude and love daily to this person who is giving you the precious gift of sharing their life with you.
~Abby Rodman

Avoid people who: People who mess with your head. People who intentionally and repeatedly do and say things that they know upset you. People who expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you. People who can’t and won’t apologize sincerely. Act like the victim when confronted with their abusive behavior.

When a door closes, knock on it a few times. But if it still doesn’t open, let it stay closed. In career, in love, in LIFE – when you see the period at the end of the sentence, don’t try and turn it into a comma. Know when something is over and move on.

“Being strong doesn’t mean hiding your pain. It doesn’t mean forgoing help when you’re struggling. It doesn’t mean refusing to show sadness and vulnerability. And it doesn’t mean carrying the burdens of life all by yourself. Anything that prevents your healing and stifles your growth does not correspond with strength. Being strong means refusing to tolerate people and things that wound your soul. It means practicing self-care when you’re hurting. It means honoring your feelings by actually allowing yourself to feel and express them. It means treating yourself with compassion and kindness, even when you feel like you don’t deserve any. It means doing what makes you happy and being with people who make you feel good. It means asking for help when the weight of the world has become too much. It means giving yourself permission to get your needs met by setting boundaries. It means to take care of yourself.
— Daniell Koepke

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to fight. Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in, what’s important to you. But most importantly, fight for the ones you love, and never forget to tell how much they mean to you while they’re still alive.

Love is more black and white than we like to tell ourselves. Don’t allow anyone to keep you trapped in the “promise” of the gray area. The bottom line is: If they love you, TRULY love you, they’ll do whatever it takes to be with you. There won’t be excuses or doubts or fears or hesitation. Love is ACTION. Everything else is just words.
~Mandy Hale – The Single Woman

1. They move on. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves. 2. They embrace change. They welcome challenges. 3. They stay happy. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control 4. They are kind, fair and unafraid to speak up. 5. They are willing to take calculated risks. 6. They celebrate other people’s success. They don’t resent that success.

There will be times in your life when no matter what you do for some people, it will never be good enough. Do not change who you are just to seek someone else’s acceptance or approval. Always stay true to you. Those who truly love you and respect you will always be by your side.

Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Kindness is a sign of STRENGTH.

But at some point you have to stop being so angry, you have to stop being so sad, you have to start being gentle with yourself. At some point you have to just let it all go and be happy, you have to spread love instead of being afraid of it. You have to love yourself and everyone around you before it’s too late. Don’t waste away being unhappy over trivial things. Don’t do it. Don’t do it to yourself and don’t let other people do it to you.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew all along anyway:

If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

There are a million possible scenarios here. It’s easier when he’s an asshole – selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you thoughtlessly, whatever. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person, but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you, but doesn’t think you’re the one. Or when he just doesn’t feel as strongly as you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he can’t seem to make up his mind and feels confused, which he doesn’t yet realize just means that he’s afraid of hurting you, that feeling ‘confused’ just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no.’ If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t have had to make up his mind in the first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.

But regardless, whether he’s a wonderful guy or an asshole or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on. Because no matter what the situation was, no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had together or how well you got along, he doesn’t want to be with you. And that’s the truth. And that’s going to be your life raft for the next several weeks or months, no matter how much you don’t want to grab onto it. It is what is going to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out of your fling, or the ‘no more talking’ after you guys spent so much time ‘talking.’ It is the truth, and as ugly as it is, it will be the only thing that can help you move on:

If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.

It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he just needs a little space, or he’s just afraid of commitment and I just need to reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.

But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and natural and obvious it feels. How you don’t even need to question whether or not you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins. How, even if you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It really wasn’t even a decision at all.

Now can you imagine feeling all those things but choosing not to be with him anyway?

That’s why your heart is broken. Because he didn’t feel those things. He didn’t feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And you can’t change that, and you can’t fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart didn’t make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in a different place from yours. And that really, really sucks. And you just have to accept it. And that sucks even more.

Maybe you’ll get over this in weeks, maybe months. Maybe longer. It will hurt, some days will be horrible and some will be okay. But the smallest of silver linings is this: you can let your heart break once – instead of breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself:

Be with someone who will watch your favorite movies with you. Be with someone who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. Be with someone who wants to go places with you, whether it’s to go shopping, to a wedding or to travel the world. Be with someone who makes you tea when you’re sick or feeling down. Be with someone who makes the sun shine a little brighter. Be with someone who makes you want to be a better person. Be with someone who enhances your life.

You know what breaks me, when someone is visibly excited about a feeling or an idea or a hope or a risk taken, and they tell you about it but preface it with: “Sorry, this is dumb but-.”Don’t do that. I don’t know who came here before me, or who conditioned you to think you had to apologize or feel obtuse. But not here. Dreams so big it’s silly. Laugh so hard it’s obnoxious. Love so much it’s impossible. And don’t you ever feel unintelligent. And don’t you ever apologize. And don’t you ever shrink so you can squeeze yourself into small places and small minds. Grow. It’s a big world. You fit. I promise.
~Owen Lindley

I’ve learned a lot this year … I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.
— Jennifer Weiner

I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones. But beyond all that I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted. Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you still. I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose me”
~Daniel Keopke

Don’t let anyone invalidate or minimize how you feel. If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you. Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever. No one else lives in your body. No one else sees life through your eyes. No one else has lived through your experiences. And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel. Your feelings are important and you deserve to be heard. They are inherently valid and they matter. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.

Sometimes, there are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay. Change may not be what we want but it is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Sometimes, saying hello makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible. Sometimes, some changes are too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing that will save your life.

Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
~Unknown

I hope you don’t accept anything less than what you deserve. Run away from average love. Run like all hell. You deserve someone who will make your blood stir and cause your heart to dance. You deserve to be deliriously happy. It’s okay to be patient. It’s okay to wait for that. You’re waiting for the best and that’s nothing to apologize for.

Even if you go for it and it doesn’t work out, you still win. You still had the guts enough to head straight into something that frightened you. That type of bravery will take you places. ~The Better Man Project.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel. — Maya Angelou

Fall in love with your best friend. Someone you can talk to about anything and know they’ll hold no judgement. Someone who knows the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway, that knows all your flaws and loves you not in spite of them but because of them. Not someone that you can’t live without, but someone that you don’t want to live without. Someone that you want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with. Someone who will hold your hand through the worst times of your life. When they see you at your worst, when you’re broken, and they don’t run away but help you put the pieces back together, that’s true love.

You were an unpleasant memory; now you’re my reminder. You’re my reminder to be more cautious of the people I invest my time in. You’re my reminder to see people for who they are and not for who I want them to be. You’re my reminder to fall in love with how people treat me, not what they tell me. But if by chance I do fall for the wrong person again, you are my reminder that I can survive the worst.

Cheating on someone is one of the worst (I repeat – WORST) things you can ever do to someone. To you, it might have been all a game, but to them, it might have meant everything.

Whether or not you’re doing it to fill a void or just for the thrill of it, when you cheat on someone, you’re doing more than just hurting them. You might be unaware of the consequences of your actions, but let me tell you, for someone who has been cheated on, it will always be some sort of reminder to them – it will always haunt them. It is a concoction of heartbreak, anger, regret, anxiety, and shame all rolled into one.

When you cheat on someone, you’re telling them they’re not good enough for you. That you never loved them.

You may beg to differ, but how can you put someone you truly love in such a position? To make them doubt their self-worth? To make them question everything they thought they knew about you? To make them believe that their trust was completely misplaced?

“Did I do something wrong?”“What could I have done to prevent it?”“Why did this happen?”“Am I not good enough?”“Why did you do it?”

– are questions you’ll ask yourself over and over again when you’ve been cheated on.

You don’t cheat on someone you love. Period.

When you cheat on someone, they’ll always be emotionally scarred. They’ll have their walls up because they don’t want to ever be hurt that way again. To feel like your world is crumbling, to believe that things like that happened, but just not to you. You see it in movies all the time, but we all know what happens in the movies and what happens in real life are two completely different ball games altogether.

They won’t let just anyone in; and even when they do let someone in eventually, they’ll always be guarded.

They’ll be paranoid, and you can’t blame them for it. Even if they’re in a new happy relationship, they’ll carry the hurt and the emotional baggage from the previous relationship into their new relationship – whether it be conscious or not – and it can’t be helped. They’ll always be suspicious, but don’t blame them for it; they’re just afraid that the same thing will happen to them again, and they can’t go through something as painful as that ever again.

They’ll want to trust again, but it’ll be difficult for them. They would take forever to learn how to trust, and how to be okay. Even if they’ve come to the rational conclusion that their cheating ex is a horrible person, you’ll somehow still fear that every future partner has or is cheating on you. Congratulations, you’re now an emotional wreck and a mess inside, and you’re going to spend every waking moment trying not to imagine the worst because you believe you’re completely broken.

When you cheat on someone, what you really mean to tell them is this: “I don’t love you. I don’t respect you, and I don’t care for/about you. I didn’t think about us, and how this would affect us. I was only thinking about myself.”

Is just one person not enough for us anymore? Aren’t we supposed to just find one person whom we think is worth it, and always stick by them through the good, the bad and the ugly?

When you love your partner, it means you respect them. And when you cheat on them, you’re betraying all of that. Isn’t it absolutely apparent that loyalty is fundamental in any relationship? We don’t need a Guide Book for Dummies for that, do we?

So please, leave if you must, but don’t cheat on someone you love, because that is the worst kind of damage you can do to someone who loves you.

Isn’t it crazy how we can look back a year ago and realize how much everything has changed? The amount of people that have left your life, entered, and stayed. The memories you won’t forget and the memories you wish you did. Everything. It’s crazy how all that happened in just one year.

This letter is to you. The you that’s had a rough week. The you that seems to be under constant storm clouds. The you that feels invisible. The you that doesn’t know how much longer you can hold on. The you that has lost faith. The you that always blames yourself for everything that goes wrong. To you. You are incredible. You make this world a little bit more wonderful. You have so much potential and so many things left to do. You have time. Better things are coming your way, so please hang in there. You can do it. – Jodi Ann Bickley

How far you’ve come. Everything you have gotten through. All the times you have pushed on even when you felt you couldn’t. All the mornings you got out of bed no matter how hard it was. All the times you wanted to give up but you got through another day. Never forget how much strength you have learned and developed along the way.

Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problems. You stay kind, committed to love & free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you always do. ~ Scott Stabile

Nothing is nicer than having someone who appreciates you in the smallest things. Accepts you in times of hardships. Comforts you when you’re troubled, loves you no matter what and is simply happy for having you in their life. If you have that someone in your life, do whatever it takes to make the relationship last forever because such people are the rarest and greatest treasures to have in life.

I am a woman of substance. Don’t judge me by my looks or my clothes. I am more than what meets the eye. Define me by the tough battles I fight each day. Define me by my courage to face them as I rise above no matter how difficult. My life is not glorious and I don’t have medals to flaunt but my biggest trophy is my heart.I value love, friendships, honesty and trust. I will survive despite all odds in my life because I am strong through and through.

When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. There comes a point when you have to let go and stop trying with some people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there. Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. Let them leave your life quietly. Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on. We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do. Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Sometimes you are unsatisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life. A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of flying. But, a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of returning home. That’s life!! Enjoy yours… If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets. But only poor kids do that. If power ensures security, then officials should walk unguarded. But those who live simply, sleep soundly. If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages. Live simply. Walk humbly and love genuinely..! All good will come back to you.
Dr. Ben Carson

And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times. Intense shit.
By Tim Urban

“Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you and they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.”
— Daniell Koepke

They say the people who exhibit the most kindness have experienced a lot of pain. The ones who act like they don’t need love, are the ones that need it more. The ones who take care of everyone else’s needs are the ones who need it most. And the people who smile a lot may be the one’s who cry when there is no one around.

Fall in love with your best friend. Someone you can talk to about anything and know they’ll hold no judgement. Someone who knows the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway, that knows all your flaws and loves you not in spite of them but because of them. Not someone that you can’t live without, but someone that you don’t want to live without. Someone that you want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with. Someone who will hold your hand through the worst times of your life. When they see you at your worst, when you’re broken, and they don’t run away but help you put the pieces back together. Now that’s real love.

When You’re Forcing Love To Stay Alive, It Isn’t Love Anymore.

Sometimes love is ugly, challenging, frustrating, painful – even in the happiest and strongest of relationships. Love takes work. It takes effort. Love is not always light and pretty. It takes the ability to admit when you’re wrong. It takes dedication, it takes loyalty.

But there is a difference between fighting for something that you know is too good to let go of, and clinging on to something that has already died.

Often, deep down, we already know when it’s not love anymore. What it is is familiarity, routine, insurance. It’s something we’ve gotten used to. It’s a security blanket. It’s the guarantee that we aren’t alone. Sometimes the death of love is easier to sense, if we’re with someone who directly makes us incredibly unhappy. And sometimes it’s harder to admit to ourselves, because we’re with someone whom we care about deeply, even if we’re no longer in love with them. But no matter the specific circumstances, we try to convince ourselves that the love is still there, because we’re not ready for the alternative.

And so we grasp onto it, no matter how much our gut resists, because we’d rather cling to something that is dead than willingly step into a world where we are hurt and alone.

It’s not a fault really, not a flaw. Just human nature. It is in our bones to want to be with other people. To feel instantly comforted from the touch or the assurance of another human being. To feel actual, physical pain when we stretch out in bed and are once again reminded that there is no longer a warm body in the place next to us.

But we must remember that there is a difference between forcing love and fighting for it. Forcing love – forcing yourself to feel something – is not love at all. It’s a manufactured emotion your body has created as a coping mechanism, a survival instinct. Forcing love means it’s already dead. And when you spend all your time forcing yourself to love someone, you miss the opportunity to fight for the person who really sets your soul on fire. The choice isn’t easy, but at least it’s yours.

Missing someone isn’t about how long since you’ve seen them or the amount of time you’ve talked to them. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right there with you.

One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket ☼

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking up and gently throwing things into the ocean. Approaching the boy he asked: “Young man, what are you doing?” The boy replied, Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die. The man laughed to himself and said, ” Do you realize there are miles of miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?” “You can’t make any difference.” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the surf, then smiling at the man, he said; “I made a difference to that one.”

My thoughts: We often think we are too insignificant or too unimportant to make a difference. We couldn’t be further from the truth. So, can I encourage you to take the time to do something that will make a difference to someone else’s life and it doesn’t have to be much and they don’t need to know. Just take a moment, do something special. Make a difference.

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you had freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feeding and burping,
Whining and fighting,
Naps, or lack of naps. It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget…
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed your baby
for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip,
then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake for this.
One afternoon you will sing ‘the wheels on the bus’
and do all the actions,
Then you’ll never sing that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
the next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your
last dirty face.
They will one day run to you with arms raised,
for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
until there are no more times, and even then,
it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them and
when they are gone,
you will yearn for just one more day of them

For one last time.
~~Author unknown~~

POWERFUL ADVICE FROM A DYING MAN

“I am only 34 years old, yet I have actually already chosen my last tie. It’s the one that I will wear on my funeral a few months from now. It may not match my suit, but I think it’s perfect for the occasion.

The cancer diagnosis came too late to give me at least a tenuous hope for a long life, but I realized that the most important thing about death is to ensure that you leave this world a little better than it was before you existed with your contributions . The way I’ve lived my life so far, my existence or more precisely the loss of it, will not matter because I have lived without doing anything impactful.

Before, there were so many things that occupied my mind. When I learned how much time I had left, however, it became clear which things are really important. So, I am writing to you for a selfish reason. I want to give meaning to my life by sharing with you what I have realized:

Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy. It is obvious that you cannot succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come easily only when you love what you do.

It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions. Fear weakens and paralyzes you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a shell of yourself. Listen to your inner voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but some may even think you‘re a legend.

Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier life. Find a sport that makes you happy. Most of all, don’t procrastinate. Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t.

Appreciate the people around you Your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love. That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I’m not upset because I understand that the last days of my life have become meaningful. I only regret that I will not be able to see a lot of cool stuff that should happen soon like the creation of AI, or Elon Musk’s next awesome project. I also hope that the war in Syria and Ukraine will end soon.

We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box – a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in this box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe that we all have potential, but it also takes a lot of courage to realize it.

You can float through a life created by circumstances, missing day after day, hour after hour. Or, you can fight for what you believe in and write the great story of your life. I hope you will make the right choice.

Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. So, enjoy your time here with passion.

My prayer for you. I said a prayer for you today for safety and protection. I asked God to send angels full of love and affection. I prayed for good health for you and those you love. There’s healing in His wings from heaven up above.

She doesn’t trust easily- you can see that in the distance she creates between herself and everyone around her, but she has much love to offer, and you can see it in the kindness that’s in the smiles she gives out to everyone around her. She has millions of chaotic galaxies of thoughts, thousands of tangled up worlds of words and places in her mind, and you can see it in the way her eyes always seem lost, like they are somewhere else. She always wants to be somewhere else, it shows in the way she’s always rushing and moving, the way she’s always restless. Life never went easy on her, and she didn’t go easy on herself either. She is strong and you can see it in her eyes, you can sense it in her voice. She believes that her body can physically rebuild and heal itself. I think that’s because she knew how to recover by herself after life had broken her. She knows how it’s like to be under-appreciated. So if you can’t see the beauty in her quirks, if you don’t think that maybe she might be a little piece of magic, don’t you dare and say that she is just a girl; because she’s a masterpiece.

When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence is felt through a held hand, a voice heard and the sight of a smile. Even through a simple touch. Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not around. Your soul feels their absence— it doesn’t realize the separation is temporary.
~ Lang Leav

I’m not going to settle for ordinary love. I want my love to be one of a kind. I want to wake up every morning next to the person I love, and tell them how lucky I am. I want to walk down the streets holding hands, and have people know how much we love each other. I want to be with someone, who sees my worse, but encourages me to be my best. I want to be able to laugh with the person I love, but have a conversation where we share our deepest thoughts. I want a love that’s so special…It lasts a lifetime.

I learned that who doesn’t look for you, doesn’t miss you and who doesn’t miss you doesn’t care for you… That destiny determines who enters your life, but we get to decide who stays… that the truth hurts only once and a lie every time you remember it. That there are three things in life that leave and never return: words, time and opportunities. Therefore, value whoever values you and don’t treat as a priority whoever treats you as an option.

I think everyone at some point, goes through that one moment where they think “my God, I can’t do this”. But you know what? You can. No matter how close you are to the edge, no matter how badly you feel like giving up, or think it’s best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain – don’t. Don’t lose hope that things will get better. Don’t give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could. Keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart, because someone is out there searching for your smile. So wipe your tears and keep your head held high.

I don’t want a perfect relationship. I want someone I can trust and who won’t be cheating on me physically or emotionally. Everyone needs someone who loves them completely and who won’t play games with their heart. Last but not least, I’m a strong believer that when it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is not an option but a priority. Loyalty means the world. – Bns.

I’m the kind of person who tries their best not to take life for granted, to live a lot, make memories and to love with everything I have. I’ll never give up for I believe in myself, but most of all I’ll fight for myself. Sure I’ll screw up. I’ll make mistakes but I’ll try to learn from them. In relationships, I won’t trust you until you’ve proven yourself. But I’ll love you with everything I have.

So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide

Beware of Destination Addiction – a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.

Just be smart enough to know when “enough is enough.” You can’t complain about somebody crossing the line if you fail to set the boundaries. You can’t complain about somebody wasting your time when you didn’t require them to earn it. Sometimes you just have to let go. Not everything is meant to be a “forever” kind of thing. You have to be honest with yourself even if it hurts. You can’t give people too many chances to make the same “mistakes.” Learn from it. Grow out of it. Be done with it.
RobertHillSr.

The first step to living the life you want is leaving behind the life you don’t want. Letting go of the past is your first step towards happiness. You are here for a special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your present. Learn from your regrets, but do not punish yourself with them. Live beyond your scars and focus on building the life that you truly deserve. Let today be the first day of your new life.

You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart. Someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.
Cecelia Ahern,

There will be times where you’re challenged, where nothing seems to be going right, where tragedy strikes and you’re left to pick up the pieces. These experiences leave us feeling weak and hopeless. But that’s no reason to stay down for long. No matter what you’re going through in life, other people just like you have gone through the same or worse and come out stronger on the other side. It’s times like these you need to be strong and never give up.

“I’m quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I often trip over my own insecurities. I require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air I breathe. I love hard and with all that I have and even with my faults, I am worth loving.”
-Danu Grayson

This goes out to all of the people who have been broken but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up.For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people who come home with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people who have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but keep their dignity intact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but found the strength because they had to. For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured. For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times it’s better just to let go.

One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket ☼

No person has the right to condemn you on how you repair your heart or how long you choose to grieve because no one knows how much you’re hurting. Recovering takes time, and everyone heals at his or her own pace.

It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place. If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either. The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
~Unknown

Did you know? Every day, the heart creates enough energy to drive a truck 20 miles. In a lifetime, that is equivalent to driving to the moon and back. So, when you tell someone you love them “to the moon and back”, youre essentially saying you will love them with all the blood your heart pumps your whole life, Which I think is equally as meaningful.

“There are men who will make an effort to make you smile. They’ll support your dreams & encourage the positives in your life. They’ll write you love notes, sweet text messages. They’ll enjoy you beyond the bedroom. They’ll want to know if you’ve eaten. They’ll feed your body when need be & feed your mind if that’s what you crave. There are men who will love you in ways you’ve yet to be loved & that love won’t be watered down by just a physical attraction. That love will be deeper, so deep that the galaxy will be jealous. I hope you find that. It’s rare but so are you. -r.h.Sin

You can say sorry a million times, say I love you as much as you want, say whatever you want, whenever you want. But if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, then don’t say anything at all. Because if you can’t show it, your words don’t mean a thing. Don’t lie in order to satisfy somebody for a moment, because the pain that you cause them in the future can last them for a lifetime.

When a door closes, knock on it a few times. But if it still doesn’t open, let it stay closed. In career, in love, in LIFE – when you see the period at the end of the sentence, don’t try and turn it into a comma. Know when something is over and move on. ~Mandy Hale.

“Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love”

There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, sit in a coffee shop on your own, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.
– Emery Allen

I’m both: Introvert and extrovert. I like people, but I need to be alone. I’ll go out, vibe and meet new people but it has an expiration, because I have to recharge. If I don’t find the valuable alone time I need to recharge, I cannnot be my highest self. -Sylvester McNut III

10 Signs you’re doing well in life: 1. You have a roof over your head. 2. You ate today. 3. You have a good heart. 4. You wish good for others. 5. You have clean water. 6. Someone cares for you. 7. You strive to be better. 8. You have clean clothes. 9. You have a dream. 10. You’re breathing.

Don’t let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn’t bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they’ve made you a stronger person. They’ll see the light someday. ~Ladybug

Marry someone you love with your whole heart. Someone who excites you emotionally, intellectually and sexually. Someone who “gets” you and isn’t out to change you. Nothing good will ever come of not being true to yourself. Marry your best friend. Find a person you want to share things with — from the smallest detail of your day to the biggest plans for your life. Marry someone you want to be with at the end of each day and until the end of your days. Never get married because you think it’s time; get married because you’ve found the right person — no matter how much time that takes. Marry someone with a beautiful soul. A person who isn’t afraid to show love or be loved. Find the person who encourages you to be your best self. When you do, be good to them. Express your gratitude and love daily to this person who is giving you the precious gift of sharing their life with you.
~Abby Rodman

Chased love, is not love. If you have to run after it, talk it into staying, remind it of your value, fight alone for the both of you, issue ultimatums, or test it – it is not love! It’s not love. It’s not happiness. It’s not fair. It’s not healthy. The only thing it is….is a waste of your time. – Jessica James

“We don’t have to take things so personally.
We take things to heart that we have no business taking to heart. For instance, saying “If you loved me you wouldn’t drink” to an alcoholic makes as much sense as saying “If you loved me, you wouldn’t cough” to someone who has pneumonia. Pneumonia victims will cough until they get appropriate treatment for their illness. Alcoholics will drink until they get the same. When people have an addiction, they will do whatever it is they are compelled to do. They are not saying they don’t love you—they are saying they don’t love themselves.”
~ Melody Beattie

Someday someone will love every inch of you – the fading sunset behind your eyes, the moonlight that dances through your hair, the sadness nestled in the creases of your palms. They are going to kiss all the parts you have kept hidden away and tell you how beautiful it all is. Someday someone is going to say, ‘I love all of you, not just the parts that make sense, not just the parts you have shown me. I love the parts of you that I don’t yet understand, the parts that weigh on your shoulders, the parts I only notice when I steal glances at you in silence.’ You will need to believe them, to believe that fairytales were not written for princesses in glass slippers, that they were written for women who have collected all the pieces of a broken heart and can’t stand to put it together again. But most of all, you will need to believe that they were written for you.Someday someone will come to you with a happily ever after promise and slide it over your finger. Someday you’ll realize you are not the lucky one, you are the deserving one. Someday you are going to take someone’s breath away.
Someday you will realize just how stunning you really are, and you will fall to you knees. Just like you’ve made me, so many times before.
-Tyler Kent White

You are not a back-up plan. You are worth more than someone’s second choice. You can’t force yourself to stop caring for someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve better. Never settle to be someone’s second best. Raise your standards and choose to be with someone who will treat you with the same respect and consideration you would treat them. You can’t expect to be someone else’s priority if you aren’t your own.

Be with someone who will watch your favorite movies with you. Be with someone who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. Be with someone who wants to go places with you, whether it’s to go shopping, to a wedding or to travel the world. Be with someone who makes you tea when you’re sick or feeling down. Be with someone who makes the sun shine a little brighter. Be with someone who makes you want to be a better person. Be with someone who makes your life shine brighter.

I no longer need to maintain abusive relationships. As I continue to grow and heal, I attract those people who love me for who I am. I have no need to deny my feelings, or to disguise my thoughts and beliefs. I will no longer tolerate people who put me down, manipulate me or humiliate me. I am surrounding myself with people who are consistently loving and respectful. I will pursue people with whom I can share myself in totality, with the complete confidence that they are accepting me for myself alone. I have the courage to terminate relationships with people who are overly critical or not accepting of me. My world is populated with self-respecting people who radiate caring respect and consideration back to me. ~ Rokelle Lerner

I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy and jewelry. The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you” or “I miss you”. The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying, it’s about giving. True romance is in gestures.

So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. ― Bob Marley

14. “As Estha stirred the thick jam he thought Two Thoughts and the Two Thoughts he thought were these: a) Anything can happen to anyone. and b) It is best to be prepared.”
—Arundhati Roy, The God of Small ThingsSuggested by Alyssa P., via Facebook

22. “At the still point, there the dance is.”
—T. S. Eliot, “Four Quartets”Suggested by vkanicka

23. “Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”
—Nicole Krauss, The History of LoveSuggested by Sam H., via Facebook

24. “In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.”
—Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne FrankSuggested by claires10

30. “She was lost in her longing to understand.”
—Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of CholeraSuggested by melibellel

31. “She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world.”
—Kate Chopin, “The Awakening”Suggested by Madeline M., via Facebook

32. “We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered.”
—Tom Stoppard, Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are DeadSuggested by Liza

37. “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
—L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green GablesSuggested by Stacy W., via Facebook

38. “I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.”
—Raymond Carver, “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”Suggested by Savey S., via Facebook

45. “I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
—Khaled Hosseini, The Kite RunnerSuggested by Maria K., via Facebook

46. “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
–F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great GatsbySuggested by carlyh3

I guess the real fact of the matter is, we don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring and the only thing we really have is right now. So, don’t stay angry for too long and learn to forgive. Love your friends and family with all your heart. Have fun and live your life the way you want to live it. Most of all, don’t worry about people that don’t like you and enjoy the ones who do.

Listen to your heart; start recognizing when something isn’t good for you and be strong enough to let it go. A person can only waste the time you give them an opportunity to waste. Stop trying to open doors for people who constantly shut you out. Make sure the interest is shown in the effort, the talk is supported by the actions, and the trust is earned through the consistency.
~RobertHillSr.

Be with someone who gives you butterflies whether you have been together 10 days or your 10 years. Someone who says you’re beautiful when you have bags under your eyes and wipes your eyes when they fill with tears. Someone who loves you even when you make things difficult for them. Someone who loves the sound of your voice and asks you to tell your stories over and over again. Someone who just wants to lay with you in bed and not just want your body, be with someone who loves you more than anybody.

“I won’t beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn’t have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that.”
—
Ming D. Liu,

“I don’t surround myself with people who are constantly positive, always smiling to mask the bullshit life they actually have. I prefer people who are real, honest and raw. I don’t want anyone who walks on eggshells around me. If your day sucks, I want to hear about why it sucks, so I can help make it better. If you’re not really happy, don’t fake a smile on my behalf. I’d rather you spill your guts with tears every day, until your smile is real, because I don’t care about the show, the disguise, the politically correctness. If you’re in my life, I want you to be in your own skin.”

Finding your soulmate is a blessing, but finding your teammate is a whole different blessing. You can love someone a lot and they can love you the same way, but them being committed to never leaving you is priceless. Love and team go together hand in hand. And when you have finally found your teammate in love and in life, you will be blessed on both sides of the coin.[email protected]

You are not a back-up plan. You are worth more than someone’s second choice. You can’t force yourself to stop caring for someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve better. Never settle to be someone’s second best. Raise your standards and choose to be with someone who will treat you with the same respect and consideration you would treat them. You can’t expect to be someone else’s priority if you aren’t your own.

As you are shifting, you will begin to realize that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. Where you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice, and there are some situations that no longer deserve your time, energy, and focus.

7 Cardinal Rules For Life: 1. Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your present. 2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything. Give it time. 4. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you. 5. Don’t compare your life to others . You have no idea what their journey is all about. 6. Stop thinking too much. It’s alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it. 7. Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future. So don’t rush love. Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back. This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.

Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean that they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean that they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their behavior. It doesn’t mean forgetting how they hurt you or giving that person room to hurt you again. Forgiving someone means making peace with what happened. It means acknowledging your wound, giving yourself permission to feel the pain, and recognizing why that pain no longer serves you. It means letting go of the hurt and resentment so that you can heal and move on. ~Daniell Koepke

When You’re Forcing Love To Stay Alive, It Isn’t Love Anymore.

Sometimes love is ugly, challenging, frustrating, painful – even in the happiest and strongest of relationships. Love takes work. It takes effort. Love is not always light and pretty. It takes the ability to admit when you’re wrong. It takes dedication, it takes loyalty.

But there is a difference between fighting for something that you know is too good to let go of, and clinging on to something that has already died.

Often, deep down, we already know when it’s not love anymore. What it is is familiarity, routine, insurance. It’s something we’ve gotten used to. It’s a security blanket. It’s the guarantee that we aren’t alone. Sometimes the death of love is easier to sense, if we’re with someone who directly makes us incredibly unhappy. And sometimes it’s harder to admit to ourselves, because we’re with someone whom we care about deeply, even if we’re no longer in love with them. But no matter the specific circumstances, we try to convince ourselves that the love is still there, because we’re not ready for the alternative.

And so we grasp onto it, no matter how much our gut resists, because we’d rather cling to something that is dead than willingly step into a world where we are hurt and alone.

It’s not a fault really, not a flaw. Just human nature. It is in our bones to want to be with other people. To feel instantly comforted from the touch or the assurance of another human being. To feel actual, physical pain when we stretch out in bed and are once again reminded that there is no longer a warm body in the place next to us.

But we must remember that there is a difference between forcing love and fighting for it. Forcing love – forcing yourself to feel something – is not love at all. It’s a manufactured emotion your body has created as a coping mechanism, a survival instinct. Forcing love means it’s already dead. And when you spend all your time forcing yourself to love someone, you miss the opportunity to fight for the person who really sets your soul on fire. The choice isn’t easy, but at least it’s yours.

Never beg for love. Never beg someone to love you back or be with you when you want to. Never beg for someone’s time, commitment, affection and attention. Never beg someone to stay with you when you need him the most. Because in the first place, if he loves you that much, he won’t leave you and let go of your hand. He will never let you beg for his presence and love because he will give it to you with open arms. Don’t beg, it’s demeaning and degrading. Remember, if you have to beg, he’s not worth it. No one is worth begging for.
~ baekebyan

I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time That followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it To get to the other side. But I’m learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather, There is absorption. Adjustment. Acceptance. And grief is not something you complete, But rather, you endure. Grief is not a task to finish And move on, But an element of yourself- An alteration of your being. A new way of seeing. A new definition of self. ~ Gwen Flowers ~

Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everyone has issues. You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, mocking or criticizing others. Everybody is fighting their own unique war!

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