I’m experiencing quite a bit of difficulty with something that didn’t used to be a problem: while I enjoy “doing” things, I really don’t enjoy just “being.” The problem is, “being” jives a lot better with motherhood than “doing.”

It’s probably healthier to enjoy, meander, and observe, but I’d rather learn, produce, and accomplish. There’s a satisfying rush that comes with “finishing” (“I made/did this!”) and having something to show for my time makes me feel better about myself, and how people see me.

If only there weren’t always so much more to be “doing” or I didn’t feel the pressure to learn a lot about a lot of things *right now*. It’s like I feel really behind and there’s an urgency to acquire this or that skill, implement that practice, expound on that thought, and create that thing.

Contrasting this with simply enjoying “being”, and I might find satisfaction in walking, instead of reaching the end of the walk, or in putting a line through “take a 3 mile walk.” That would be so great, because honestly, unless I’m engaged in conversation, I hate the “walk” part – But I want to find satisfaction in walking and not care so much about getting to the destination (even with a toddler).

This recent pull to transition from “doing” to “being” has me kind of stumped. *But how?! How do I do that? How do I manufacture feelings and completely shift my mindset? Argh!*

Then I remembered a book I read a couple years ago that might really help me now that I’m ready to change lanes and slow down. While, I read through it pretty quickly and it resonated very much with my “small world” heart (I’m very home-oriented and domestic in nature), I so was fixated on what my other mom friends were doing and able to accomplish during this season, that I wasn’t ready to take a backseat to all the “fun”. 2 years later, I’m tired and worn out and would like to try implementing his ideas and blogging about the experience as a way to keep me on track and document the journey.

It’s called Living into Focus by Arthur Boers and if I remember correctly, his first “focus practice” was to go on a walk. : )

Nathan and I have been scratching our heads trying to figure out how I can be an extrovert who has a hard time being around more than a handful of people. (I like to say that I’m a “Mezzo-Extrovert” since I hate being alone for more than an hour and love being in small groups).

Finding out about HSP has shed light in a lot of ways (my empathy levels; need to leave a gathering even though I’m dying to stay) and helped me to feel better about cutting myself some slack in other ways (spacing our kids out further than I originally wanted; waiting until they’re older to start being a Foster parent.)

Cheers to self-discovery! I’m not a mess: I have super powers I haven’t learned how to harness yet ( :

The following is taken from a recent post on my facebook page, however, I’m excited to expound on what I find on Bible reading with Dyslexia as well as Dyslexia in general in the future. Wanted to get this up right away in case it might help someone : )

I’ve tried to be honest about how while I love certain passages and learning all I can, I don’t love reading the Bible on my own.
While talking to an awesome woman at the ‪#‎momheartconference‬ last month, I learned some great suggestions for reading the Bible when dyslexia is an issue*. How had I never thought to look into that?!

There’s a cool version in the UK of the Psalms and Mark, but I wanted to find an entire Bible that I could use. Google, Amazon, and two book stores later, I am so stinkin’ thrilled.Seek Find is on Amazon and the reviews are so heart-warming. It’s for any reading or English language related difficulty. I like it for it’s:
•Easy language, but not as whimsical as the Message version (strings of abstract words disrupt focus for concrete thinkers);
•Slightly off-white pages (cream colored is better, fyi);
•Text on the other side of the page barely shows through.

I read this morning without a furrowed brow and tense shoulders; Without having to go over a sentence or paragraph multiple times for comprehension, before getting into contemplation. After Nate woke up, I read aloud from Ecclesiastes and only switched words/stumbled every column (if that) instead of every paragraph.

*I didn’t realize this ‘was a real thing’ until I was 21 and Nate picked up on it and researched it for me – I thought I just sucked at reading so, for the most part, I didn’t like to. I got good grades and left it at that. I also believed the common myth that dyslexia was limited to switching or jumbling letters around.‪#‎natershoutout‬

Morgan Reid

I'm wife and mama learning how to love Jesus, and love on others the way He does.
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Into crunchy and natural living; mindful parenting; social justice; and environmental advocacy. I like anything domestic (decorating, fabric arts, etc), Monet's art work, photography, ASL, and having real connections with other humans. (:
Currently living in Austin, loving all the 'weird.' Counting gifts and enjoying God. ‡
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MBTI: xSFJ. Enneagram Type 6.