"When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice." ~ Cherokee

To Sacrifice Who You Are Being For Who You Really Are

December 11, 2015

by: Tom Tuohy

In: Uncategorized

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Spring is a time of rebirth. It is a time of renewal and of greater consciousness and growth. We are infused with the energy of warmer weather and we rush to work on our gardens and our bodies. We plant for summer flowers and we workout to fit into our bathing suits. But what about our inner-self? What about the person we are being in the world? The one who shows up with our family, friends, co-workers and our community. Is this the same person who we really are?

Unfortunately, for most of us, the answer is obvious and usually it is no. Sadly, it is less obvious to us than it is to those who care about us. They know who we really are. That is who they love. However, we so often get in the way of the person we were born to be. Most often we do it to protect a past pain. Sometimes it is to get ahead. Or to prove something. Our reasons are about something in our past that we have not resolved. And it is running our lives as we take on another being, one so much less than the powerful, happy one who was born into this world full of wonder and joy.

All of this is a suffering that we just can’t let go of and one that, in the present, we are completely making up. In our present lives, which is right now in this moment, and then again in the next, we simply do not have to suffer. It doesn’t matter if it was because of something our parent did decades ago, or a relationship that ended badly, or something that just happened. It is our choice how to respond. So often we sell ourselves into thinking that we have to go through this, that suffering is part of the deal. A deal with the devil maybe. The reality is we can choose to embrace the adversities of our lives in the way the ancient Greeks did – by celebrating them. By embracing them, as difficult as they are, and immediately processing how they are a part of our life experiences. And move on. It is easier said than done, right? The response I have learned to that one is – it is easier done than said. We just wont say it. We refuse to believe it. And it becomes our reality. Then, whenever our self imposed exile or acting out is over, we only think we have moved on. Yet, it is just another stone we collected in our overloaded backpack. It weighs us down and it comes back up again, and after a time of carrying this burden we don’t we don’t even recognize our true self.

There is no better time than the present, and this brilliant season of rebirth, to take an honest assessment of who we are showing up as. Is it who we truly are, or are we are acting a part? Hopefully we have not made the common mistake of only surrounding ourselves with the agreement team. One of the great coaches of my life said it best – “The problem is our friends are the ones who agree with us. And you know what we call the ones that don’t? Our former friends.” We don’t need to be coddled. We actually need just the opposite. We need more people who hold us accountable and are straight forward honest with us. It took me a couple of decades to learn that one.

So this spring, let’s all take an honest inventory. Are we truly being this magnificent, joyful person who came crying into this world? Or are we still crying about the past? It is our choice.