US Troops in Afghanistan launch new offensive

US Troops have today launched what many describe as an extreme form of chemical and biological warfare today. The War Department say that the month of Ramadan is an ideal time to take advantage and have begun spraying the Helmand province with essence of smokey bacon (which is particularly offensive of course) and MacDonalds Missiles which explode on impact showering areas as large as 5sq kilometres with fat droplets.

The strategy which has spent months in planning and development is aimed at creating 2 different types of results. The Essence of Bacon is of course taboo to all muslims, especially those with skin complaints who are ugly and single such as is commonly found in the Taliban. The MacDonalds Missiles will help to break the fast of these fundamentals stirring the taste buds and creating chaos within their tightly formed flanks.