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Part 28: Several Last 'Fuck You's

Update 28: Several Last 'Fuck You's

Buckle up, folks, we're in for a long update today.

Oh boy!

So, last time...

...On Digimon World 3!

Kill me.

Yeah... This idiot... Ugh...

Lord Megadeath: And the being who shall be god in the new world after all is destroyed... Now come to me, the strongest tamer... I await for your arrival at the military satellite, Gunslinger!
Kite: ...what?! Gunslinger?!
Lord Megadeath: Yes. I will show you the magnificent glorious figure floating in space...

I swear to god I am not making any of this up. Yes, Lord Megadeath just told us to come to a SPACE STATION and fight him.

Lord Megadeath: My real goal was to obtain Gunslinger! The Juggernaut was only a decoy! The A.o.A's Operation Sigma is entering its final stages...
Kite: ...final stages? What are they doing?!

I'd like to just take this moment to remind everyone that once again, we're getting proper nouns thrown in our face with no context of why they're important and zero foreshadowing whatsoever. Actually, I think the A.o.A is literally the only noun in that sentence that was discussed before becoming relevant.

And we still don't know what they stand for.

Fuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

We are 3 images in. 3 images in and I already quit.

Kite: Wha-what?! I won't let them do that!
Lord Megadeath: Then come to Gunslinger and defeat me! ...There is nothing to fear. Go through the Warp Gate, and you'll be at Gun Slinger! And let's have our final battle. With the fate of all mankind on the balance...

Wtf? Gunslinger and Gun Slinger? WHICH IS IT, GAME

Oh my god, I really should have implemented a fuckup tally. I bet it would rival the BN4 count by this point.

You know, at least BN4 stayed within its own realm of stupidity. It didn't escalate to THIS. Hell, in BN4, the first scene shows you that you'll have to do something in space at some point.

Oh my god, I'm using BN4 as a positive example.

Something in the world has broken horribly. This is except somehow worse.

Kite: I'm going to defeat you!

So, Kite is the only possible threat to the A.o.A's plans. Which makes perfect sense to INVITE HIM TO THE ONE PLACE THAT YOU CAN BE STOPPED.

And this isn't even getting into the problem of 'how the fuck are they getting transmitted from the Digital World to the real world in space'.

Fuck.

Their plan is to turn everyone into Oinkmon.... Why? What do you gain from ruling over pigs?

You might remember that the Chief Officer had one of these and an Infermon on his team before the Raidenmon. So, uh, good job foreshadowing the next area's random mooks? They like to do that in this game, I notice.

After going through the teleporters, we wind up... here?

Good job not touching blue.

Kite: Hmm, did the block go away now?

I'm still confused as to what it means by the panel being alive. Seriously, we've taken a hard right into territory - at this point, it's all but adding .EXE to the end of everything.

Yeti what is happening

We use the blue pad as a quick trip back and sure enough, we've opened the path to the next maze. Joy.

I will spare the trip through the next maze - funnily enough, though, I accidentally stumbled into the solution. Go me.

Now, you might notice that this teleporter has an exclamation mark. (The others didn't, by the way. Just throwing that out there.)

That's because it takes us to Gunslinger 2nd Floor. Nice scenery, I guess, but it... really looks like we're in space. Without a protective suit.

WHAT

Game stop. This is too much in one update.

but yes it does look nice.

Anyway, we all know how this song and dance goes. Walk up, beat up the robot, keep going.

After murdering destroying the Metal Soldier, we end up at the second panel.

Same dialogue as the first panel - the panel is alive, green bleep, wonder if the block went away.

Sigh... I just wish this game didn't actively make its dungeons terrible. They're just so draining to play through - oh, it's a teleporter maze! Oh, I'm stopping every five seconds for a fight that takes forty seconds to resolve! Oh, this is completely idiotic!

Yeti, you're almost done. Hang in there.

This one's bigger than the other two, at four platforms (and a half, since the one that leads to Gunslinger 2F only has the entrance, the exit, and a blue reset warp) but I still somehow managed to stumble into the answer accidentally.

Second verse same as the first. I'm surprised they didn't just slap a third Metal Soldier at the first path, just to be assholes.

...That's a new background. We're not over the Phillippines, anymore, I think? Why did they...?

Same team as before - I just wanted to point out how ridiculous Apokarimon's physical attack looks. It's literally just those pentagons gliding in, bopping the enemy, then gliding out. Not even animated.

Apparently, the satellite is just now starting to go into launch mode. This, actually, is something I can give the game the benefit of the doubt, because first Lord Megadeath had to hack the satellite, then give it the commands, and then finally wait for the set-up procedures.

Or, none of that applies and the game is just trying to ham-handedly introduce tension. Your pick of which.

So, fun fact, Agumon knows some pretty powerful Fire techs. And I knew Armageddemon was coming up, so I deliberately put the dinosaur up first.

Here we go! The last glimpse we're getting at Earth before we confront the final boss.

It would be so easy to just jump off and end it all.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Kite: Lord Megadeath! Who are you?!
Lord Megadeath: ...I am a digital life form born from inside the network... and am the one to replace humans as the ruler of all worlds...

Oh god they went for the stupid plot twist fuck this game

....?

Kite: That's why you formed the A.o.A?
Lord Megadeath: ...yes. To create the loyal, and most powerful Digimon, Snatchmon!

...
...
...

.........?

...................?

what is...huh?

Moving on...

Lord Megadeath: ...Snatchmon is born when Vemmon has absorbed large quantities of matrix data, and digivolves. You have seen it... Those who had their matrix data sucked out and turned into Digimon.
Kite: What...?! SO that's what Oinkmon are.
Lord Megadeath: When Gunslinger launches the Digitize Wave, matrix data from all life forms will be sent, and then Snatchmon will indeed be the strongest!

So, uh, wait, they're creating Digimon in real life... by removing the matrix data... from flesh and blood humans in the real world.

This, apparently, turns them into Oinkmon, which is starting to look like the Digital World's shorthand for 'shit fucked up here, don't know what it's supposed to be'.

um..... i am so confused

Kite: Yeah right! I won't let you!
Lord Megadeath: ...that is why you will battle with me... To prove that I am the strongest tamer!
Kite: Yeah, yeah. Bring it on!

As befitting the mastermind behind all of this, Lord Megadeath has three very, very powerful Digimon. If you're not prepared (i.e. didn't stock up before accidentally tripping into the point of no return) or had a rough time going through Gunslinger, you're probably going to get your face punched in a few times. Hope you saved.

Remember everything I said about Fujinmon? Suijin is the Physical version of that fighter. He's also a hell of a lot more dangerous, with more HP and higher attack. To make things worse, his regular attack will hit up to four times, potentially one-shotting a Digimon.

This is dangerous, by the way. Agumon blocked two of the shots and still nearly got killed.

Best bet on fighting this guy is high defense, high speed, hopefully high metal resist. Mugen Cannon is a fucker, and if he happens to use either of his buffs you're in a lot of trouble. Just take him out as quickly as possible.

Raijinmon is the chufty boy of the trio. That 1 Strength looks good on paper, but then you realize A) he doesn't have a regular attack, and B) both of his techniques are magic-based. He hits like a truck.

Back Storm is a water-based attack. Very strong.

We've actually used Electro Ball ourselves; it's a two-hit Thunder Tech that Renamon learned a while back. (not that I've used Renamon since swapping out for my bear buddy...) It is also very strong and will fuck your shit up.

Fun fact: Fujinmon and Raijinmon of the Digimon have the kanji of their namesake somewhere on their body. Fujin is on the shoulder ribbon thing and Raijin is on the shoulder batteries. Suijinmon is just a lazy shit that didn't feel like going with the trend.

...Hey, what gives? We beat the mastermind! He was introduced at the last second bait-and-switch, he has to be the final boss, right?

Kite: You still think you're all that?
Lord Shoulders: ..Of course... That was only a test... I still have the most powerful Digimon, Snatchmon... You will soon learn what true terror is...

Wtf even IS Megadeath, anyway?

Displaying a strange dislike for full stops, the guy just... saunters off and warps away. Kite: stone-cold killer in the game, incompetent brat in cutscenes.

The usual.

Kite: Hey, you're not getting away!

And we're given control again.

HEAL YOUR PARTY NOW

Once we follow him, we're immediately thrust into a cutscene.

What is going on.

Can anyone in the thread follow this shit?

WHAT IS GOING ON.

CAN ANYONE IN THE THREAD FOLLOW THIS SHIT?

Seriously, who's this Frieza-looking motherfucker?

What a name for the strongest digimon

Lord Megadeath: Go, Snatchmon! Destroy those foolish human beings!!
Kite: Come on! I'll take you on!
Snatchmon: Who are you? Why do you order me?
Lord Megadeath: ...what are you saying?! I am your tamer!
Snatchmon: ...Tamer? I do not require such a thing... I am always the strongest Digimon! I bow down to no one!
Lord Megadeath: Wha-what! Who do you think I am...?!

Snatchmon: I will absorb data and become more powerful! First... I will absorb you!
Lord Megadeath: Wha-what?!

So, turns out, Lord Megadeath didn't learn his lesson from Pokemon the Movie 1: When creating Mewtwo an artificial life form, make sure it likes you.

Anyway, Snatchmon just hoovers up the ball of data.

Kite: Tamers and Digimon are one and the same! We always work together!
Snatchmon: So, it is you... You defeated me when I was Vemmon! But now I am reborn! I will show you my new powers!

He kinda... melts? Then reforms up there. It's weird, is what I'm saying.

Snatchmon: I'll fuse with Gunslinger and be Galacticmon!
Kite: Galacticmon?!
Snatchmon: Then I will become one with Earth! To digivolve into a more powerful Digimon, Gaiamon!

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK

...Let's just pause and take that in, shall we?

This Digimon - a digital monster, you might say - is going to merge with the Earth. Something without any digital or indeed technical components as part of its inherent structure. Natural, you might say.

Kite: Everything on Earth will die!
Snatchmon: That is why it is irrelevant, all that matters is me!
Kite: I won't let you!
Snatchmon: Then try to defeat me when I am Galacticmon!
Kite: I will! I can't let you do this!
Snatchmon: Fine. Then we shall meet in space! I will transfer your matrix data! Watch as I digivolve into Galacticmon!

And then we're teleported. Into space. Actual space, not the Gunslinger outside.

Kinda nice of the guy to let us have a shot at stopping him, though, don't you think? He's going to transform and if we're inside Gunslinger, we can't do shit. How convenient - fuck THIS GAME.

Regular Attack: Wind Elemental (Magic), Counter (Physical)
Technique: Galacticmon (Head) will use either (A.) The last technique you used against Galacticmon (Tail) or (B.) ?????

Note: I'm not sure if Technique (B.) has Physical or Magic type damage

Here's the gimmick of the fight against the tail: whatever your last technique used against it (which is, an attack that targeted the tail, not a heal or buff) it will be able to use against you in the Head fight.

That's actually neat, I like that.

First thing you do is hope to god you get to move first. If you do, immediately heal or switch out. If you don't, goodbye to whoever's out front.

Galacticmon Head's regular attack is a laser. It's very bland.

He also has a counter if he manages to block your attack. Be careful, it WILL hurt.

Fun fact (it's not actually fun): Counter procs on magic evasion, too. Unlike every other Counter in the game. This will catch you by surprise.

????? is just a regular laser. It does... roughly on par with Metal Attack in terms of damage? So about 900-ish, ballpark. You could definitely get screwed if you're forced to rely on Signature Techs, though.

Speaking of Signature Techs, my hopes are riding on this Terra Destroyer. If it hits, I win. If it misses, I'm basically boned since all of my 'mons are low health and don't do damage for shit.

Adverts by Project Wonderful

Hey, adverts can be pretty annoying, right? I know how it is; I don't like it when I'm browsing a site and I accidentally trigger an awful flash ad where a big, freakish iPhone starts singing at me. That's why here on the Let's Play Archive we'll only ever serve up nice banners that behave properly.

The Archive is a personally-funded hobby, and without donation/advert revenue we won't be able to keep it going. Please, if you enjoy the site, consider adding us to your AdBlock whitelist—it really does make a difference.