Colors Make Reading Fun!

Colorful emails hit my email inbox daily.

They are usually one of three basic flavors; the religious email, the conservative/political email, and the nonsensical chain mail imploring one to forward their GIF infested message of vapidity on to their friends and co-workers.

Another thing I notice is that these emails all share common sources. For instance, I will not receive only the conservative/political emails from one or two particular people and then receive the religious emails from completely different people. No, all three types of email come from the same people without fail. They are the conservative, religious, and the credulous all wrapped into one, emailing bundle.

I have a hypothesis about this phenomena that I only reluctantly share for fear I will come across as smug or arrogant. But the amount of anti-intellectualism in the United States deserves a response.

I realized something very important the other day. I realized why these emails were so colorful and have really large font!. They were made by and made for people who are not especially cerebral. Most of the people on my email list that propagate these affronts to text are fervently religious, especially conservative, and do not read books. Reading is not some thing that these people do a lot of and these types of emails appeal to this demographic. Colorful, sparkling, and large fonts dazzle dull imaginations with simple ideas contained in short sentences and short paragraphs so as not to overwhelm and scare off the target audience.

This is not to indict all religious or conservative folk for these inane emails, but it is common among this group. I certainly get no emails from liberal or atheist friends with flashing GIFs and puerile messages. I believe they are out there since the left houses many a conspiracy theorist along with other masters of woo. However, it just doesn't seem to be a common practice for the far left.

These seem to be the very same people who are passionately espousing their uninformed views at town hall meetings and at tea bagging parties. I can only assume that these are the people who comprise Glenn Beck's audience. I hate to generalize it, but I really hope this level of idiocy abates one day soon. If not for the future of the United States, then for the sanctity of my inbox.

For some fun, you might want to start responding simply with a link to an email etiquette website. For those who still don't change, send it again, but with every *character* a different font type, size, and color, pointing out how ridiculous they are and asking if their parents didn't let them play with crayons as a child. If that doesn't work, send them an email of complete jibberish, with links to random porn sites.

For some fun, you might want to start responding simply with a link to an email etiquette website.

This will seem contradictory to my post, but I do encourage most of these people to send me their forwards. The reason being that I can keep up with all their "news" and be ready to handle wild accusations that they like to toss around in casual conversation. For example, when a co-worker starts telling me about a bill in congress that will ban guns/make late-term abortions mandatory/re-crucify God/or whatever other nonsense that terrifies these people, I can be ready to respond with actual facts rather than with an impotent "I don't know anything about that".

I just needed to vent, I suppose. But, "REMEMBER TO PASS THIS ALONG TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW BECAUSE THE LIBERAL LEFT WING MEDIA WON'T COVER IT!!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEED TO TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK BEFORE THERE IS NOTHING TO TAKE BACK AND ITS RUINED AND WE ARE ALL ENSLAVED TO OBAMA AND SOCIALISM AND COMMUNISM AND NAZIISM AND MARXIISM AND WHY CAN'T WE PRAY IN PUBLIC ANYMORE AND..."

Jen, you can just press the "share button" at the bottom of Reggie's post. If you want to share it with friends from your personal email you just click the "More options" I am going to send this to my dad haha. NOW FEATURED!

I don't get those. I have warned all of my friends about sending me forwards. When they do it, I give a few more warnings as replies that if they keep sending me forwards, I will block them. After I blocked a childhood friend for continually sending me forwards, the others stopped. Now I don't get them anymore.