Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Overrated is a term usually used to describe athletes, actors, and movies (see my overrated Slumdog Millionaire review right here: http://thecorner33.blogspot.com/2009/01/slumdog-millionaire.html) To challenge myself, I’ve decided to leave overrated movies for another post. (Two of them included Citizen Kane and Any British Period Piece starring Kate Winslet and Judi Dench.)

But there are so many everyday things that are also OVERRATED. I challenge you to disagree with me. Or add some of your own.

HERE IS MY TOP 10:

#10) Gourmet Pizza

Why People Love It:

Gourmet pizza offers unique toppings like sun dried tomatoes, spinach, and ricotta cheese. It is more expensive so people feel they are eating at more then just a pizza place. Plus, it may appear in the Zagat Restaurant Guide.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

I don’t give a crap what’s on my pizza as long as it’s got some good sauce and cheese. And I shouldn’t be paying more than $2 a slice. My favorite pizza of all time is Town Spa in Stoughton, MA—nothing fancy, nothing crazy, just delicious pizza. I’d even take Ellio’s frozen pizza or even my very own English muffin pizza over fancy pizza.

There’s a new pizza place in NYC called Artichoke. It’s getting all the buzz; lines run out of the door into the street. I tried it. I waited in line for 30 minutes and paid 4 dollars for a slice. I was supposed to be all excited because it was gourmet. My review: OVERRATED.

#9) Trader Joe’s

Why People Love It:

It’s healthy and reasonably priced.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

I’ll never forget the day when Trader Joe’s opened in NYC’s Union Square. It was a rainy day, and I was walking to the gym. I noticed about 150 people lined up in the street outside the door. I was confused; were they giving out free toasters? Was there a book signing? What was going on? I asked some people in line what was happening.

That’s when an ancient couple in their late 70’s looked at me with excitement. They leaned on their canes as rain splashed off their umbrellas. Their eyes lit up, and they enthusiastically announced to me in a shaky voice: “Haven’t you heard…it’s Trader Joe’s!!!” This couple had been waiting their wholes lives for this day.

On a less busy day, I entered Trader Joe’s to discover healthy food at reasonable prizes. Finally, I can get a banana for 20 cents instead of 30. It was OK, but nothing I was willing to die for like the old couple above. I was also very frustrated when I couldn’t find a Gatorade because it was deemed “unhealthy.” So I will now deem Trader Joe’s OVERRATED.

#8) The Morning

Why People Love it:

In the morning, you can accomplish many things. Breakfast is the most important meal, and there’s nothing better then getting a good start to the day.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

The morning is terrible. The worst part of my day is hearing my alarm clock shriek at 7 am. It’s always colder in the morning, and the sun doesn’t really come out until noon especially in LA.

I have to endure morning people who speak in capital letters. GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE! IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN’T IT? These people are just awful.

Traffic is at its worst in the morning as well. There’s beeping horns, construction, and lots of grumpy people like me.

As far as weekends, I’d rather sleep in and play during the day. Those that love the morning end up playing around til noon and then taking a nap. They’ve yet to realize that the morning is way OVERRATED, and the afternoon is really the best part of the day.

#7) Big Boxing Events

Why People Love Them:

People get excited to watch 2 of the best boxers in the world square off in a glamorous city like Las Vegas. It’s also fun for people to debate over the best boxer and sound like the barber shop characters in Coming to America.

Why they’re OVERRATED:

Boxing is over-hyped, over-rated, and over-everything. The media makes it sound like it’s gonna be one of the best moments of your life (like going to an Arena Football Game.) But the fights generally don’t last more than two rounds and are huge disappointments. To make matters worse, there are no real characters like Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield anymore. So even when there is a big fight, you’ve probably never heard of the guys anyways. OVERRATED.

#6) Skiing & Snowboarding

Why People Love It:

Skiing and snowboarding can be cool because you get to be outside in the winter, and there’s a certain energy and rush to flying down a mountain full of snow.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

Skiing and snowboarding are expensive—add up the clothes, the gear, and the lift tickets, and you’re out plenty of cash. As you get older, you also come to a few realizations: Winter sports are dangerous. You’re not as nimble as you used to be. And this combo could lead to major injury or even death.

After you get flattened by another double black diamond, the following thoughts fill your head. Your toes are freezing off, your nose is runny, your knees ache, and you’re sweaty and cold at the same time. That’s when it occurs to you. How great it would be to just have some hot chocolate and watch something on TV. Skiing and snowboarding are OVERRATED.

#5) Hiking

Why People Love It:

People love hiking because it allows them to achieve a goal; they get to be in touch with nature; and they can brag to people about doing it.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

Hiking is very anti-climactic. If I put hours of effort into an activity, I wanna get something at the end. For example, if you finish a marathon, there’s a celebration after—dinner, awards, hugs, handshakes. When you finish a hike, what do you get? A view? That’s it? And it’s the same view you could probably get from someone’s apartment.

Now, if hiking provided a climax then it would be much better. For example, I would climb a grueling 10 mile hike if I knew something like this might be at the end: a) a secret ice cream factory, b) a secret hot tub filled with Playboy bunnies, c) a leprechaun or d) a Field of Dreams. But to hike just to take a few pictures and possibly sprain an ankle seems kind’ve stupid to me.

I enjoy hiking in small doses, but it’s really not as cool as adventurers lead you to believe. It’s OVERRATED!

#4) Live Music at a Bar

Why People Love It:

People feel a sense of peace when they listen to music. Live music is usually in an intimate spot so people feel connected and involved with the performance.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

Live music is so damn awkward. It takes places in a social setting, but is completely anti-social. You can’t talk to anyone during the show because it is either too loud or is considered rude. So you have to stand around people for 40 minutes and not say a word. I never know what to do in that situation especially if I don’t like the music. Can I make fun of it? Does everyone else hate the group too? So I just bob my head and hope it ends soon.

People are gonna knock me on this because I know how many love music. But I just don’t get it. The only exception is when good friends perform because I know them.

There are 2 types of people—people that turn on the TV when they get home, and people that turn on the stereo. I am a TV person. It’s no wonder why I think live music is OVERRATED.

New Year’s Eve is always anti-climactic. It’s impossible to be with all of your friends because they’re scattered on vacation or at different parties. The parties are overpriced and never as fun as anticipated. If you have no one to make out with, it’s depressing especially if it’s also your birthday like mine. OVERRATED!

#2) NYC

Why People Love It:

NYC is arguably the most diverse city in the world. It has amazing restaurants, beautiful girls WITH jobs/brains (sorry LA and Miami), a million bars/clubs/lounges, it never sleeps, good public transportation, culture, history, sports teams, comedy clubs, Central Park, museums, theatre, fashion, music, TV/Film, architecture, etc.

Why it’s OVERRATED:

NYC is overrated because so many people consider it is the BEST city in the world. If I walked down the street with an I LIKE NY t-shirt, I would be shunned. How dare you not LOVE New York. But I don’t love it; I like it. Besides the great things above, I’ve also endured the following: rude people, angry people, smelly people, smeared feces on the subway, the smell of garbage, the smell of urine, $6 Bud Lights, sirens, horns, construction, homelessness, Yankees Fans, New York accents, gangbangers, con artists, litter bugs, hipsters, a-holes, d-bags, bouncers, traffic, pollution, Bridge and Tunnel people, etc.

I’ve enjoyed my time in New York, but I will never love it. One must create a bubble in order to take in what you want and push out what you don’t want. You really need to adapt to live in NYC. I’ve been here for 4 years, and I definitely enjoy it. But I’ll never LOVE it like all New Yorkers tell me I should. It’s a fun city, but it’s definitely OVERRATED.

#1) Blondes

Why People (Men) Love Them:

When men think of blondes, they think of beautiful, sexy women.

Why they’re OVERRATED:

Men are very simple creatures. We see something bright and shiny and we must have it. In that way, blonde women are very clever. They’ve learned that men will rate them higher on the attraction scale simply because of their hair. This is probably why so many women dye their hair blonde. The reality is that blonde women are really not better looking then any other type of women. But we are so distracted by the gold locks that we don’t look at their face. The golden hair allows non-attractive girls to seem more attractive. So when you think about it, blondes are smarter then we think, and they’re also OVERRATED.