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BARRY ELLSWORTH: U.S. fake news about Sharia law

NEWS ALERT: Sharia law coming to Canada.
Sharia law is a code for living taken from the Koran, the central text of Islam, and fatwas, the rulings of Islamic scholars.
Some interpret Sharia law like the Old Testament – an eye for an eye, death by stoning, and so on.
There are about a million Muslims in Canada – roughly three per cent of the population – but I did not know Sharia law coming here, that we were going to make it the law of the land?
Now maybe I missed something: did you know it was happening?
I truly didn’t, until I stumbled across some American websites.
At least I think they are American, because no other nation I know of loves conspiracy theories as much as our southern neighbours.
And no other Western nation would elect an idiot like Trump (I hope and pray), meaning that out of 321 million Americans, there are sufficient dunderheads who voted to put an orangutan’s finger on the nuclear trigger.
Will he or won’t he? That’s not a guessing game I would have wished on the world, but then I am getting sidetracked.
The website ‘billion bibles’ says: “Sharia law is advancing in Canada at national, provincial and local levels. The provincial governments of Canada have for years tacitly recognized Sharia law for Canada’s Muslim majority by sending multiple welfare checks (cheques) to polygamous Muslim men who raise multiple families in Canada.”
Huh?
Multiple welfare cheques? Where do I sign up?
However, I can’t do the polygamy thing. Mary Lou would object, strenuously. And it is illegal. And I am too old.
Billion bibles folks must love nuts more than Chip and Dale.
But that ridiculous website is not alone in its fake news.
Pam Geller, who describes herself as a popular conservative blogger and is probably the foremost Muslim hater in the United States, runs a website called, as you might have guessed ,the ‘Geller Report.’ People like her need to continually feed their ego.
She runs a story by some kook by the name of Leslie Stoffel, headlined “Canadian PM, Justin Trudeau, Smears all Canadians with Islamophobia Lie to Create a Sharia State.”
The illustrious Ms. Stoffel, who claims she spends her time between Canada and Israel, writes: “The Prime Minister of Canada will be holding a vote on Feb. 16, 2017, Motion M103, that if passed, will enact Islamic Blasphemy Laws in Canada, creating a defacto Sharia compliant state on the Northern border of the United States.”
Does Trump know this? Is another wall in the making? The motion passed, but it is not law, just a reaffirmation that Canada is tolerant.
If Stoffel finds herself in Israel again, Canada should bar the return door.
As for the polluting gusher named Geller, I wrote her an email saying she should be ashamed of herself for perpetuating lies.
She wrote back: “You should be ashamed of yourself for carrying water for the most extreme and brutal ideology on the face of the earth. #tool.”
Such wit, such style, such grace, such B.S.
But now I finally know who Trump should thank for being elected – the dunderhead Gellers of America.