Former California Assemblyman Mike Duvall (R-Spanka Linda) is a Republican and staunch defender of family values.

So you are the least bit surprised that he’s also a habitual adulterer with a sprinkling o’ the kink check your pulse because you’ve probably been dead for at least a decade. [H/T Balloon Juice, I can’t link the post right now because the site getting a lot of traffic.]

Lapel pin? Check. Smacked ass? Check!

Unlike some Repugs I could name *cough* FoleyAllenVitterCraigSanfordEnsign *cough* he quit once the tapes aired. Like every Repug, ever, he must attempt to spin the problem [via the LA Times]:

“I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state.”

Yes, it was the comments. Not the behavior. And of course there is the whining like a bitch:

“I made a mistake and I sincerely apologize,” the statement said. “I deeply regret the comments I made in what I believed to be a private conversation. This is a private matter and I ask that everyone respect the privacy of all involved.”

Got that? Bragging about his schlongmeister status to a fellow member of Cali’s senate was a private matter. It was totally no fair that the mic was live!

In the videotape, the married, socially conservative Duvall talks with a colleague in uninhibited detail about his apparent trysts with two women, neither of them his wife.