A blog dedicated to venting frustration about dumb members of the sports media via angry commentary.
No, we're not the first guys to do this kind of thing. Still, Jay Mariotti and several other prominent members of the national sports media need to lose their jobs. We want to facilitate that process any way we can.
Feel free to direct any pressing questions or comments to any or all of us at firejaymariotti@gmail.com.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I know I don't really live here anymore these days, but I've gotta drop by for a visit every now and then. It's partially because I miss all yous guys so very much, but don't flatter yourselves. It's primarily because Scott Merkin is a fuckdouche.

CHICAGO -- Brian Anderson looks at the White Sox roster in its current form and realizes there's a center-field job there to be won for the upcoming 2009 season...But Anderson doesn't have to be one of the men running the team to realize his chances to start aren't quite as likely as they would seem.

I hope to gawdalmighty that you're referring to the White Sox trading Brent Lillibridge for Grady Sizemore straight up (unfortunately, that makes an equal amount of sense to what he's about to say...).

The White Sox don't currently have a veteran leadoff hitter in their projected lineup, not necessarily a necessity, but certainly more than a luxury in Guillen's desired attack.

Definition of "leadoff hitter": The man who bats first in a baseball batting order.

We can only conclude that the White Sox will field a starting lineup that begins in the #2 slot.

With a healthy Jerry Owens fitting these job requirements

What the af=eawe-fkjlwef fitting WHAT job requirements?!?!!?!!?

fsdf-0qw3f2f32fZOMGZOMGhttp://www.321OBP.NOSLUG.TERRIBLE.edu

You just said that Jerry Owens fits the job requirements of a veteran leadoff hitter. Jerry Owens has logged 381 major league at bats. I am now going to enlist in the United States Navy, work on a laundry ship for 5 hours, quit somehow (the details are hazy on this part), then run around and claim to be a "veteran".

Jerry Owens was the primary leadoff hitter for the 2007 White Sox. The 2007 White Sox scored less runs than every team in the American League. Jerry Owens had a lower offensive VORP than every White Sox starter, including every member of the pitching rotation. But sure, go ahead Merkin, pencil him into that #1 slot. I predict the Chicago White Sox will finish at least 53.5 games back of the Minnesota Twins.

the fleet-footed leadoff hitter literally appears to have the leg up on both Anderson and DeWayne Wise in rounding out the White Sox outfield.

I want to know what happened between this year and last that catapulted Owens over Wise.....

We end with a quote from Brian Anderson.

"Nothing against guys who back up or spot start. If that's my role with the White Sox, I'm ready to do it again.

Okay....

But at 26 or 27, I'm just not ready to be a role player or come off the bench. Nobody is ready to do that at my age."

6 comments:

it makes me fucking sick that Ozzie "Brian Anderson punched my son so I'm never going to play him again no matter how much it hurts my baseball team that I'm paid to manage" Guillen is once again going to trot garbage out in CF instead of putting the best man on the field.