Britney’s VMA Performance: A Poop Rocket to Planet Deadskunks

Man, did you guys see that last night? Britney did a performance of an upcoming single from her new album to open last night’s MTV Music Awards… if you can call it a performance. After a week of boozing it up in Vegas, she wandered half-asleep onstage. Her weave showing its roots, her potbelly flopping over her underwear like a sad tomato, she lip-synced about half the song before getting so confused about which track she was supposed to be pretending to sing she just gave up.There was a fall that may have been intended to continue into a lift, but the dancers who caught her didn’t seem to be able to interact with her directly. Britney mostly wandered around as if lost and looking for someone. Near the end she held a hand up and blocked the stage-lights from her eyes, and the camera cut away to 50 Cent, visibly rolling his eyes and aghast. 50 Cent. Aghast at Britney. She’s that disgusting now.Anyway, local artist Dan Telfer is attempting a cheap cash-in on all the palpable failure. Click here, but do not purchase the product, as it is crude and evil.