Alternative Proms Gain in Popularity

Lauren Mayer, above, attends a prom
for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youths and their
friends in June 2001 on Long Island in New York.
—File photo by Ting-Li Wang/The New York Times

When it comes to high school proms, one size may not fit all.

Seeking to provide safe havens or to accommodate different student
interests, some groups are providing alternative proms for students
based on race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or
disability.

With such gatherings apparently on the rise this spring, some
educators and observers wonder what the trend shows about differing
visions of America, and the tension between integration and separation
among groups of all kinds.

Some towns in the Deep South have for years held separate proms for
white and black high school juniors and seniors. Now, at least one
Georgia community is holding a third prom—for Hispanic
students.

Elsewhere this spring, evangelical Christians threw a prom for high
school students in Pennsylvania. Gay and lesbian students are finding
more prom settings of their own. Some Nebraska students with
disabilities have gathered for an annual prom over the past few
years.

"The question is whether as a community it is wise to have us work
together—to have us integrate all facets of our
community—or whether we accept the perception that that
differences do in fact make a difference," said Raymond T. Diamond, a
law professor and legal historian at Tulane University in New
Orleans.

Andrea Cruz said she helped sponsor the prom this spring for
Hispanic students near Lyons, Ga., after a student came to her saying
she was unwelcome at the local "white" prom.

"This community is having to segregate," said Ms. Cruz, referring to
the Hispanic teenagers. She is the executive director of the Southeast
Georgia Community Project, an advocacy organization for Hispanics in
Toombs County, about 180 miles southeast of Atlanta.

"There’s really no way around this," she said, "unless we get
some school support."

‘Special Friends’

Some proms are being held for teenagers who might be left out.

Dozens of high school proms have emerged in recent years for gay and
lesbian high school students, said Joshua Lamont, the communications
director for the New York-City based Gay, Lesbian, and Straight
Education Network, which advocates on behalf of gay students and
educators.

One of the first suburban proms for gay students was held on Long
Island in New York. Now in its fourth year, the prom organized by the
group Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth will be held in June, said
David Kilmnick, the president of the Bay Shore, N.Y.-based support
organization.

Mr. Kilmnick said that having all students together at the same prom
is preferable, however, and that signs of acceptance are emerging.

For now, he said, the Long Island group promotes the support and
nurturing of gay students in schools. As such support grows, "there
won’t be a need [for a separate prom], but we’re not there
yet," he said.

Religious groups also are offering students some prom
alternatives.

"I’m a parent that wanted to send my child to the Christian
prom and found out there wasn’t one," said Debbie Kmecik, who
helped organize an alternative prom near Erie, Pa., earlier this
month.

Speaking just before the event, she said more than 200 students who
are home-schooled or attend public or private schools were expected for
the formal dance for grades 9-12 at a church outside Erie. A local disc
jockey was set to play contemporary Christian tunes to accompany a
classic prom theme: a Hawaiian luau.

Ms. Kmecik said the idea of a dance specifically for Christian
students had not been a source of controversy. "I have not had anyone
say anything on that," said Ms. Kmecik, whose children are
home-schooled.

In other places, meanwhile, proms also are being organized for
students with disabilities.

Katie Freeman and Kelsie Williamson organized Omaha, Neb.’s
first "Special Friends Prom" three years ago while students at Millard
North High School.

"A lot of the special-needs students we grew up with do not go to
the prom. Some of them do, but most of them don’t," said Ms.
Freeman, now a rising senior at Truman State University in Kirksville,
Mo.

Her mother, Martha Freeman, said public school officials at first
were wary of the event planned at her church. Martha Freeman, who is a
minister and has helped with the proms, said that after the first
event, educators grew more comfortable with the idea.

"It is just the most smiles in a room at one time that I ever see,"
she said.

The two founders of the dance, which is now organized by other
students, set up an e-mail address to take requests for the free
guidebook they wrote on planning a prom for students with disabilities:
specialfriendsprom@yahoo.com.

The Toombs County public schools serve about 2,800 students in the
area that surrounds the town of Vidalia, which is famous for its sweet
yellow onions.

The school system is integrated: Most of the students are white,
about 20 percent are black, and about 17 percent are Hispanic.

Superintendent Kendall Brantley said he was the principal at Toombs
County High School when black and white parents of juniors and seniors
began planning their own spring dances outside of school, often holding
separate proms at the local National Guard armory.

The school stopped holding its own prom after the separate proms
began.

"It’s not that anybody’s excluded. They just want to
have their own music, their own type of food," Mr. Brantley said of the
separate proms. He noted that some students planned to attended all
three proms this year. "I don’t think it has anything to do with
race. It’s just the tradition."

Danny Bowen, the chairman of the Toombs County school board, said
he’s been too busy at the Vidalia onion fields and warehouses he
manages to see television and press reports about the three proms.
"From what I’ve heard, we’re just being portrayed as a
racist system and a racist community," he said.

"People with similar backgrounds form relationships and
friendships," Mr. Bowen said, "and people with different backgrounds
sometimes don’t, and I’m not sure it always has anything to
do with race."

Ms. Cruz said she was expecting up to 200 students earlier this
month at the Silverado music hall in Toombs County for the Hispanic
prom. She had no idea that national TV cameras would be in the mix. "It
has gotten way out of hand," she said. "The purpose of this was not to
stir up conflict."

She called on local school leaders to do more to bring students of
different backgrounds together—especially for a prom.

"That’s certainly worthy of consideration," responded Mr.
Bowen, the school board chairman. The board was set to discuss the
controversy at a meeting late last week.

Toombs County High School Principal Ralph Hardy, who is black, said
that he would prefer a school-run prom for all students, but that it
isn’t his decision to make. "I’d be glad to see it happen,
but it’s not for me to decide," he said.

Concerns Raised

While some observers say they understand why students might flock to
alternative proms, others question the need for them.

Barbara Cervone, the president of What Kids Can Do, a Providence,
R.I.-based student-advocacy group, is not surprised by the splintering
of proms.

She said alternative proms may be an outgrowth of schools’ and
communities’ willingness to allow growing student diversity and
differences to be expressed in other venues, such as clubs.

Ultimately, she added, the rite of passage of taking a date to the
prom simply may not resonate with today’s students the same ways
it did in years past.

"We related through couples, and they don’t," Ms. Cervone
said. "I don’t think kids think of themselves as rejecting
anything, but it’s more of a natural extension of how they
socialize."

But separate events did not seem desirable to young adults who work
with Youth Ventures, an Arlington, Va.-based nonprofit group that helps
civic-minded young people ages 12 to 20 start clubs and businesses.

"If their needs were being met in the first place, then they
wouldn’t feel the impetus or need for [separate proms]," said
Nicholas Pelzer, a 25-year-old recent graduate of James Madison
University in Harrisonburg, Va.

Khyati Desai, a 23-year-old from Baton Rouge, La., attended a
diverse high school, and remembered that the music at her senior prom
catered mostly to white students’ tastes. While she valued
attending an integrated event, she said the organizers could have been
more considerate of everyone who attended.

She doesn’t like the idea of separate events: "They are
promoting, encouraging social segregation."

Mr. Diamond, the Tulane professor, said racially separate community
dances may be permitted under the law, but schools are wrong to condone
them. It’s possible that by not offering an alternative, schools
are accepting discrimination.

"Some community traditions are racist," Mr. Diamond said, "and to
accept them is a conscious acceptance of racism, and I think
that’s what’s going on."

"Race Against
Time," a two-part series from the CBC Radio show "Ideas," examines why
resegregation is occurring in southern schools. Includes a look at the
segregated prom at Taylor County High School in Butler, Ga.

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