Actually, I can, because I have a year's worth of ridiculous photos of myself from various article shoots. And apparently, so do a lot of other xoVain contributors. Some, sadly, delete the bad photos immediately so they "don't take up space" on their computers. Suuuuurrrrrre.

Those that do have a few outtakes lying around, however, were happy to send them my way for the most opposite-of-vain slideshow ever. (You'll see that Alle is especially prolific.) ENJOY!

1 of 45 |

Alle will BURN YOU.

2 of 45 |

Even Hannah's OUTTAKES are adorable.

3 of 45 |

Christine inevitably got silver lipstick behind her ears.

4 of 45 |

Trista is the edgy new Muppet.

5 of 45 |

Have you guys ever seen the "Ladyfingers!" episode of "The Aquabats! Super Show!"?

6 of 45 |

Here's that closeup of my clubbed thumb you wanted.

7 of 45 |

Wendy's cat is a vodka model.

8 of 45 |

Staring contest--GO!

9 of 45 |

It's hair perfume, so I seriously thought for a few moments that this would make sense.

10 of 45 |

Arwen the hair­-twirling Valley girl.

11 of 45 |

Trista wants you to know she didn't burn the inside of her nostril.

12 of 45 |

Ouidad Instant Belligerent Drunk Spray.

13 of 45 |

Yep, still there.

14 of 45 |

"Thank god this isn't in focus or you would all die of my beauty." - Alle

15 of 45 |

What is it about sprayable hair products that make xoVainers look so sassy?

16 of 45 |

"I was in character as Ursula. Duh." - Kelly

17 of 45 |

This is what love looks like.

18 of 45 |

That time I couldn't get the camera to stop continuously shooting. And neither could Madeline. And OIivia eventually fixed it.

19 of 45 |

"IHTM: I quit modeling because I couldn't stop making this face." - Alle

20 of 45 |

Let's all play "What Word Do You Think Rachel Was Saying In This Photo?"

21 of 45 |

Wendy's husband is an even better sport than you originally suspected.

22 of 45 |

Very convincingly goth, Simo.

23 of 45 |

Alle's been expressive since her very first article.

24 of 45 |

Sisters are not always good at holding your backdrop taut, as Kelly discovered.

25 of 45 |

That time Beth started a Prince Halloween tutorial...

26 of 45 |

Let's play "What Word Do You Think Rachel Was Saying In This Photo?" again!

27 of 45 |

"Oliver's first xoVain appearance, and maaaan, is he unhappy about it. I suspect his inner monologue here is something along the lines of 'NO, MISTER BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE.'" - Alle

28 of 45 |

Kelly was doing yoga in this picture, so yes, this is probably what you look like when you're doing yoga.

29 of 45 |

Christina proving that blinking never gets less amusing.

30 of 45 |

Alyssa being arrested for never having exfoliated before.

31 of 45 |

"The weird thing is, there are 10 photos from this shoot that look exactly like this. WHAT WAS I DOING?" - Alle