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Topic: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

Hello!

I've just assembled a glossary of AJB terms, phrases and utterances for the entertainment and erudition of members both young and old, both novice and veteran, currently viewable below...

Naturally, I'm including all of the simple and obvious ones (TWINE means The World Is Not Enough, for example)...but I'm also addressing such things as Bonditics, Flemingists and Cinematic Bond Traditionalists...and I'd like your help. If you can think of any particular phrases, acronyms, sayings, etc., that are unique to the AJB online Bond experience, please share them here. I'm already at approximately forty entries...but I'm sure I can't remember them all.

Obviously I'm not just referring to the nonsense I've come up with on my own; if you can think of any, please include the person who coined the phrase if possible, so that I can assign proper credit/blame Let's see how many of these we can come up with...

Like pinball, this is for amusement purposes only...so don't be afraid to have fun with it.

AC - Suggested by AJB member hehadlotsofguts - Audio Commentary

AJBers - Suggested by AJB Moderator Predator - The collective term for members of this, the greatest online Bond community in the known world.

"Babs" - Nickname/term of endearment for Barbara Broccoli, daughter of "Cubby" Broccoli. Producer of the James Bond films; widely credited/blamed for the Craig Era/reboot.

Barry Bonds, The - Coined by AJB member Sir Hillary Bray, this term refers to the Bond films scored by brilliant composer John Barry. Any reference to steroid-jacked former outfielders for the San Francisco Giants baseball club is purely coincidental.

Beloved Character - Suggested by AJBer Barbel, this refers to characters from the Bond films who essentially have their own fan base. The great Desmond Llewellyn (Q) is a prime example.

"Big Tam" - Sean Connery's nickname as a youth.

Bond-Centrist - One of the Bonditical parties. This Bond fan is possibly (or probably) well-read, re: Fleming, and finds value in transferring a bit of the literary heritage to the Big Screen---and yet, finds enough to like in Cinematic Bond's broader, lighter-tone outings (most of the time) to afford them a generous measure of dispensation, whilst condemning excesses on either side. Favourite Bonds: Any (don't try to label me; I won't stand for it!). See the 'Your Bond Party Affiliation' thread.

Bondian - The essence of being like, or summoning positive comparisons to, James Bond.

Bondian Chaos Theory - Coined by AJB member 7289. The point at which The Theory of Bond Relativity collides with the Bonditical party system, automatically and instantly rendering all personal opinions about James Bond irrefutably irrelevant.

Bonditics - A surprisingly controversial notion, particularly among some moderators : The world of Bond fandom, divided along party lines in a fashion similar to that of political parties...except that this is all in fun. Bonditics employs a three-party system: Flemingists, Cinematic Bond Traditionalists and Bond-Centrists.

Bondiverse - The Bond universe, to include both the world of fictional superspy James Bond...and the fever-pitched hopes, dreams and disappointments of his fans.

Bond #__ - Suggested by AJB member youknowmyname - Generally the working title for the next Bond film, whether in pre-production or during actual principal photography, when the actual title of the film is yet to be revealed (or hasn't been thought up! ).

Bondology - Suggested by AJB member youknowmyname - The not-so-scientific study, and tireless discussion, of all things Bond.

Brozzer - Slang/term of endearment for Pierce Brosnan.

Casual Audiences/Casual Bond Fans - Suggested by Bondtoys - People for whom a James Bond film is "just another movie"...and also used to deride fans who don't enjoy Timothy Dalton's performance, offering the easy explanation that the "grittier" tone of the Dalton Bonds isn't as appealing for people who don't know much about Fleming and Bond - or, maybe they simply can't get over the fact that Roger Moore had to retire at some point.

Chief Of Staff - Suggested by AJB Babe Lexi - The moniker given beneath the avatar of an AJB Moderator.

Cinematic Bond - The James Bond depicted in the films; often bears little or no resemblance to the James Bond in the novels by Ian Fleming.

Cinematic Bond Traditionalist - One of the Bonditical parties. More guided by the traditions and norms established by the films themselves, as they've unfolded over the past 46 years. Might not have ever read Fleming; if so, considers the books well separate from the films, and feels they should remain so. The CBT will generally prefer the bigger-scale, 'spectacle'-style Bonds, and won't mind a lighter tone. Favourite Bonds: Roger Moore, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan. See the 'Your Bond Party Affiliation' thread.

Circle of Life, The James Bond - Obliquely suggested by AJB member arthur pringle, and immediately affirmed by thread's author: The notion that whenever a current Bond actor is replaced by The New Guy, the current Bond actor immediately becomes 'passe'...and the deserving target of endless slagging off and all sorts of merciless derision...but when The New Guy's time is done, and The Next New Guy comes along...

Codename Theory, The - Suggested by AJB member i expect u2 die - A longstanding theory, circulating in various pockets of Bond fandom, which purports that 'James Bond' is merely the code name of a number of British Secret Service agents, over the past fifty years, who have taken on the identity of 'James Bond' and assumed the '007' identification number. Presumably, this is a means of explaining why James Bond has had different faces on film from 1962 to the present day (rather than the mere recasting of a film role---when actors lose interest, demand too much money, or simply grow too old to keep leaping off burning vehicles).

Copyright - Suggested by Predator - The reason why AJB has never allowed MGM/UA/Sony images of the Bond films to be posted on the site.

CR - Casino Royale

CR-06/CR-67 - Suggested by Thunderbird 2 - A convenient shorthand way of delineating between the wildly different film versions of Casino Royale, based on the year of their release.

Craig Bashers - Suggested by Predator - The antonym of the Craig Optimist. These Bond fans collectively wish that Daniel Craig had stuck to small independent films---or perhaps become a dockworker or tobacconist---instead of taking on the mantle of James Bond.

Craigger - Nickname/term of endearment for Daniel Craig.

Craigirl - Coined and suggested by Bondtoys, and seconded by Lexi - A variation on 'fangirl;' pertaining to those lasses who rather fancy Daniel Craig.

Craig Optimist - Those who, during the production of CR, remained optimistic that Daniel Craig could be an effective James Bond.

Craig Wars - That wild, dangerous and violent time, beginning on 14th October, 2005, with the official announcement of Daniel Craig as the sixth actor to portray James Bond on film, a colossal event which split Bond fandom along distinct lines. From simple, random border skirmishes---with a few rounds being exchanged in the dead of night---to all-out, Ardennes-style armoured combat...complete with tanks, aircraft and covert operations...this mammoth conflict had to be experienced to be appreciated. Ask one of the veterans about it. Chances are, they'll merely shake their head, and drink their cocktail in silence. As to when this conflict ended...well, that's the question, isn't it? As with the Cold War, bullets are rarely fired in anger anymore...but there is a distinct unease within the quiet...

Craigxit - Coined by Number24, in reference to Daniel Craig's inevitable exit from the role of James Bond.

CR Contrarian's Playground - An ultimately failed experiment; a Craig Wars-era attempt to create a safety zone for Craig/CR/reboot haters, skeptics and doubters to voice their concerns, criticisms and insults without fear of reprisal---essentially a de-militarized zone---routinely infiltrated by Craig supporters with sabotage on their minds. One of the few (if only) threads to be locked...and then unlocked. Still viewable to the curious, like images of the extinct dodo bird.

"Cubby" - Nickname/term of endearment for the late Albert R. Broccoli, co-founder of Eon Productions. Quoted as saying that the James Bond films will last "until doomsday."

DAF - Diamonds Are Forever

DAD - Die Another Day

Daltonite - Suggested by AJB member dr. evan-gelist, and seconded by zebond - A term of respect for a given element of Timothy Dalton's portrayal of James Bond.

dandified banter - Coined by AJB luminary superado to describe posts by Loeffelholz during one of their many (and colourful) Craig War border skirmishes, circa '05 - '06.

danielcraigspicturenexttoamonkey.com - Used in lieu of the actual name of the anti-Craig site(s), who used a unique brand of photographic manipulation, crass homophobia and simple-minded singularity of purpose to organize a boycott of CR...leading to the film's worldwide gross of nearly $600 million.

DC - Daniel Craig

Dinner Theatre Bond - Bond films with a more broadly-played, somewhat self-conscious comedic approach, typified by most of the Roger Moore era.

DN - Doctor No

'double-taking pigeon moment, a' - highlighted by AJB member Osato - a moment in a Bond film (origin: MR) which stoops lower than most in search of a cheap laugh.

DSOAPP Edition, The - Suggested by AJB member Bondtoys - Based on the conspiracy theory/hypothesis that Quantum of Solace, the most polarizing Bond film ever, secretly consists of two versions: a good one, and the "Dog S**t On A Paper Plate" Edition---which everyone who truly hates the film must have seen.

EON - Production company founded by Harry Saltzman and Albert R. "Cubby" Broccoli; currently run by Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson. Owner of exclusive film rights to the James Bond character. Rumoured to stand for "Everything Or Nothing," although this has been denied by the principals.

fanboy - Any male whose admiration of some aspect of pop culture---Bond, Star Trek/Wars, comic book heroes, etc.---borders on the unhealthy, and threatens an otherwise promising social life.

fandom - A community of fans, whose interest in something keeps them at their computer, and online, past their bedtime, waiting in cinema and book store queues, etc.

fan-girl - Suggested by AJB babe Lexi, who reminds us that not all Bond fans are male! Besides, who says that an unhealthy interest in pop culture is gender-exclusive??

FWIW - (For What It's Worth) - which is usually not much...in the grand, worldwide scheme of things.

FYEO - For Your Eyes Only

GE - GoldenEye

Geezer Bond - James Bond, when portrayed by an actor who's obviously too old to be leaping off buildings, etc.

GF - Goldfinger

GL - George Lazenby

Golden Gun Conspiracy, The - Suggested by AJB member perdogg - The theory that another author completed (and altered) the TMWTGG novel, after Ian Fleming's death, so that Literary Bond would survive.

GUAK - Suggested by AJB Moderator Alex - "Give Us A Kiss!" Intended by Alex as a means of responding to virulent critics of FYEO...but easily adaptable to all kinds of social (and Bondian!) situations...

Gun barrel - Suggested by by Predator - The classic, pre-title 007 introductory sequence...currently under some renovation in the Craig Era.

Hardy-smacked - The fate of a redundant thread, necessarily by the hand of the redoubtable Hardyboy, AJB Moderator and Thread Cop Extraordinaire. Check the news articles and use the forum search tool, people!!!

Higgins Sarcastic - Suggested by Barbel; coined by Sir Miles - To fly in the face of all reason and logic, stick determinedly to a point of view when beset from all sides, and bluff if out when cornered.

IF - Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond.

IFP - Ian Fleming Publications, Ltd. Formerly known as Glidrose. Controlled by the Fleming estate; owns the literary rights to the James Bond character.

IMO - (In My Opinion) - One of the quickest and most common ways to assure fellow posters that you're not presuming to have the final and infallible word on any given issue.

IMHO - (In My Humble Opinion) - IMO, with a bit of extra sugar.

IMNO - (In My Nonsensical Opinion) - Suggested by AJB member 007 James, this variation embraces the fascinating premise that comparisons---especially with regard to Bond actors---are complete nonsense...and since you can't compare anything without first having an opinion about it...

IMRO - (In My Ridiculous Opinion) - Coined by AJB member (and Craig/CR defender) highhopes, this variation pre-supposes that not all Bond opinions are reliably humble. A member using this acronym acknowledges, de facto, that his opinion is worth no more than what anyone pays to read it.

Izzy worthy - Suggested by AJB Moderator jetsetwilly. A euphemism for a woman of quite phenomenal attractivess, as seen in the "Izabella Stuff" thread in Off Topic Chat.

Jason-Come-Lately - Jason Bourne, the central character of the Bourne franchise of action films. A touchstone for critics of post-DAD James Bond Films, who accuse Eon of copying the Bourne films en route to the staggering commercial success of the Daniel Craig Era.

JB - No, not James Bond---but you can use it that way if you like! As AJB member (and renowned musician) Barbel reminds us, this stands for John Barry, the musical craftsman who defined Bond through music in the early days of the film series, and who continues to influence those who pick up his mantle.

JHOCHT, The Society Of - Jealous Husbands, Outraged Chefs and Humiliated Tailors. According to AJB contributor bigzilcho, a super-secret society---more fearsome than SPECTRE or Quantum---dedicated to the destruction of James Bond since time immemorial.

Kool-Aid - This refers to the decades-ago mass suicide in Guyana, by followers of cult leader Jim Jones, who served up cyanide-laced grape Kool-Aid. 'Kool-Aid drinkers' are said to be blindly committed to a principle---at all costs.

LALD - Live And Let Die

Lazbians - An extremist faction within the Flemingist Bonditical party who sees only George Lazenby as the true one and only James Bond...and dismisses all others as false Bonds.

LCH - See "Legion of Craig Haters, The"

Legion of Craig Haters, The - Speaks for itself, really---much more focused than the Craig Bashers, who merely sneer and make snarky comments in social situations---this crowd holds a grudge. You know you you are, and you bask in the warmth of your ire...like a lizard sunning itself on a rock. When Craig finally turns in the tux, you'll feel like T.E. Lawrence at the end of Lawrence of Arabia...can you ever really go home?

Literary Bond - The James Bond of the novels---particularly the originals written by Ian Fleming---not to be confused with the James Bond depicted in the films.

LTK - Licence To Kill

MI6 Agent - Suggested by Lexi - The moniker given underneath the avatar of all AJB members.

"Mickey" - Nickname/term of endearment for Michael G. Wilson, stepson of "Cubby" Broccoli, and producer of the James Bond films.

Mo - Suggested by Hardyboy, this refers to AJB babe Monique.

Mods - Suggested by i expect u2 die, this is short for the moderators of AJB...a.k.a., Those Who Must Be Obeyed.

Moonie - Coined by Monique, this is a term of endearment for moderator Moonraker 5.

MR - Moonraker

NSNA - Suggested by Predator - Never Say Never Again, the 'separatist' James Bond film produced by Kevin McClory in 1983 (as a result of long-festering litigation between himself and Ian Fleming, followed later by Eon Productions), starring Sean Connery in his final screen appearance as 007.

NTTD - No Time to Die - Formerly known as Bond 25.

OHMSS - On Her Majesty's Secret Service

'Old Man Steptoe' - A comparison made by AJB member Napoleon Plural in reference to Daniel Craig, in the historic Craig Wars-era thread of the same name.

OP - Octopussy

Original Flemings, The - A 'shorthand' means of identifying the original fourteen Ian Fleming books (12 novels, 2 short story collections...and distinguishing them from the subsequent 'continuation' James Bond novels by Robert Markham (Kingsley Amis), John Gardner, Raymond Benson and Sebastian Faulks (thus far).

Other Place, The - Suggested by Barbel, in reference to the 'other' Bond site, MI6 Community, who (rumour has it) refers to us in the same way.

Our Founder - Added by Barbel - Ian Lancaster Fleming (1908-1964)

"party line vote" - see Bonditics - an abbreviated way of saying that support for a particular Bond film depends upon fan's particular tastes---specifically, their Bonditical party: Flemingist, CBT or Centrist---a theory which engendered a bizarre wave of aggravation in the immediate run-up to the release of QoS

PB - Pierce Brosnan

Pendulum, The - Suggested by Barbel, and expanded upon: a) The manner in which a particular film is not highly thought of at first then grows in stature over the years, i.e. OHMSS. Or perhaps the opposite, i.e. FYEO. b) the cyclical nature of the series as a whole, with a lavish OTT entry (YOLT, MR, DAD) being succeeded by a more down-to-earth caper (OHMSS, FYEO, CR). c) The way in which the James Bond film franchise gradually moves---in terms of style and tone---from one extreme (dark and gritty) to the other (camp and broad comedy)...and back again.

Poor Danny - Daniel Craig, during the period of time immediately following his announcement as the new James Bond, throughout the production of CR (during which time the tabloids had him unable to drive a stick, obsessed with ladies' toiletries and gay/nude scenes, losing both front teeth whilst filming, terrified of firearms, ad infinitum) and up until the film's premiere.

Precious Classic Formula - The patented formula for James Bond films (currently evolving in the Craig Era). Pre-CR, this generally meant that: Bond has a PTS adventure; Bond gets briefed by M, flirts with Moneypenny and gets his gadgets from Q; Bond meets the villain of the piece in a social setting before actual hostilities begin; Bond goes through a number of action set-pieces, getting laid in-between by Bond Girls both good and evil; Bond confronts the villain in the villain's lair and ultimately triumphs.

Premature Condemnation - The tendency of fandom---particularly in the internet era---to take one piece of potentially negative or controversial information, and use it as a means to assert that a particular film (or Bond actor, or whatever) is terrible...before it is ever released, or viewed for proper informed judgment.

PTS - Pre-Title Sequence - The opening sequence in any Bond film (except for DN), taking place before the credits/titles run.

QoBs - Coined by Bondtoys, who feels that QoB is too imprecise - See 'Quantum of B******t'

QoS - Quantum Of Solace

Quantum Of B******s - Coined by Napoleon Plural - a term of derision for Quantum Of Solace

Quantum Of B******t - Coined by Bondtoys, who wanted his own trademarked QoS insult

Quartermaster - Suggested by Lexi - The moniker given beneath the avatar of AJB members who write feature articles, blog articles and news updates for AJB.

reboot - The controversial restarting of the Bond mythos, with CR showing a Bond who's just received his '00' status. A seismic event, the aftershocks of which continue to shake the beds of some AJB members in the small hours of the morning.

Seannery - Suggested by AJB member Pendragon - for those too lazy to type out Sean Connery, but not entirely comfortable with the acronym 'SC.'

SF - Skyfall

SP - SPECTRE

TB - Thunderball

TD - Timothy Dalton

Theory of Bond Relativity, The - The hypothesis that every Bond film (and novel) is overrated and underrated by someone, due to the diversity of Bond fandom and the absolutely correct nature of any one Bond fan's personal opinion...on an exclusively self-assessed basis.

TLD - The Living Daylights

TMWTGG - The Man With The Golden Gun

TND - Tomorrow Never Dies

"Topic closed" - When used by an AJB moderator, the death knell for the thread in question.

tripe - No, not just the Scottish delicacy...coined by AJB member JennyFlexFan, this refers to Casino Royale (2006), if you're a truly dedicated Craig Basher...or a member of the Legion of Craig Haters...

TSWLM - The Spy Who Loved Me

TWINE - The World Is Not Enough

Unholy Three, The - Coined by AJB member highhopes, this refers to three of the most vocal of the Vocal Minority: darenhat, Napoleon Plural and Dan Same.

Van Nutter Syndrome, The - Coined by AJB member bigzilcho - Named after Rik Van Nutter, who played Felix Leiter in TB, this is said to pertain to any actor whose primary claim to fame is simply being in a Bond film.

Vocal Minority, The - Suggested by AJB member (and leader of the Cinematic Bond Traditionalist Party!) Tee Hee - A term often used to describe Craig's (and the reboot's) most outspoken detractors.

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

Great job, Loeff! Your summary of The Craig Wars was hilarious! And yes, I shake my head and drink my cocktail in silence.

Additions? With your indulgence:

THE VAN NUTTER SYNDROME- Named after the Felix of TB, Rik Van Nutter, this term is used to describe any actor whose only claim to fame is by being in a Bond film. Other examples: Daniela Bianchi, Harold Sakata, Claudine Auger.

SPECTRIFIED- A term used to describe any and all unanswered questions about Blofeld in the series. Derived from the question:"What the hell happened to SPECTRE?"Questions about Blofeld and continuity problems? That's SPECTRIFIED territory. Volumes have been written by Bond-fans concerning the mysterious fate of Blofeld and his organization. If you have even spent one minute contemplating this you are in a SPECTRIFIED state of mind.This a place with no answers and no exits. Nothing is solid and everything is speculative.

Example:"You got me so confused...I'm SPECTRIFIED!"

THE RED GRANT CLONE FACTORY- Used to describe all silent blond henchman. As in:"Yeah, sure Necros was a good villian but he's just a clone from the Red Grant factory."The Red Grant clone was a popular model that spilled beyond Bond into other movies but, in the end, no clone has ever been as dangerous as the original model of 1963, Robert Shaw.Some Bond-fans maintain the factory is not a metaphor but an ACTUAL factory pumping out Red Grants. Madness, you say?Max Zorin cackles with glee at your naivete.

STAIN-LESS STEEL DELICATESSENS- Used to describe any cringe-worthy line that has no place in a Bond movie.As in:"Throw that joke into the stain-less steel delicatessen." Or, perhaps,"Wow, that was a great car flip in TMWTGG but who the hell was the genius that put in that awful stain-less steel delicatessen sound effect?"

THE SOCIETY OF JHOCHT- The secret society of jealous husbands, outraged chefs and humiliated tailors who M describes as being the real enemies of James Bond. Details are sketchy at best. The members move like the wind through the corridors of power. Conventional wisdom is that M was being flippant when asked who would want Bond killed. Top-secret reliable sources reveal that the old man was on the level. The Society of JHOCHT exists...but only in whispers...it has no shape or form...only an idea. Death to 007. For all the slights.A rumour (that was never confirmed) was that Kronsteen from FRWL was an original member whose wife Bond had seduced. Which makes sense when one consider's Kronsteen plan was not only to kill Bond but humiliate him in the process.

There are those who speculate JHOCHT never existed, an urban myth in intelligence circles. Top secret reliable sources, however, maintain that M slipped for a moment and that the truth came out.

One thing is for sure, James Bond has left a trail of jealous husbands, outraged chefs, humiliated tailors and who knows how many bartenders and security guards you can add to the list.JHOCHT exists in 2008 only as a fleeting memory.

But, for a brief moment in 1974 the original M offered a tantalizing possibility: what if Blofeld was really just a former tailor from Prague who was insulted by Bond's opinion of his suits?

Alas, since the original M is gone...we will never know.

I trust you will use this information with the utmost discretion, Loeff.

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

There's also IFP for Ian Fleming Productions. And maybe Mickey and Babs should be added to the glossary as well. Some real Bond newbies might not know who Cubby is, either. Or I dunno: I could be suggesting Sesame Street for Bond Freaks!

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

I think, it's not perfectly matching to the thread, but my first book about the James Bond movies 30 years ago (and then the only one in Germany on the market) had the author referring to "Roger Bond" and I always liked this very much!

President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.-------Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!------FIRST TO DISCOVER substantial evidence that Chew Mee is in fact not totally nude in the TMWTGG pool scenes!

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

Fans of 1970s pulp horror books may be aware that the 'Babs' nickname derived added sauce by being the name of the sexed-up character in James Herbert's Lair whose adulterous nighttime excursions lead to a ravenging of a very different nature.

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

Well done Loeff!! That Contrarian Playground brought back some memories! And Loeff, ever the diplomat would make an appearance every few threads to try to get it back on track and let us vent in peace!! Those Craig crashers just wouldn't leave it alone! Ah well..you tried, and we appreciated it.

It also made me miss some of the missing posters like MBE, arthur pringle, and Moore Not Less. It was also very nice to see Tony and Rogue commenting on CR, as they haven't really been too vocal on QOS. Even though the direction is not pleasing some fans, at least those guys are still around, which makes me happy. I wish some of the other ones would come back.

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

Monique wrote:

Well done Loeff!! That Contrarian Playground brought back some memories! And Loeff, ever the diplomat would make an appearance every few threads to try to get it back on track and let us vent in peace!! Those Craig crashers just wouldn't leave it alone! Ah well..you tried, and we appreciated it.

Re: The AJB Glossary (So Far)

Great thread Loeff. I can't think of any good additions at the moment, however I'm really enjoying this thread.

Last edited by Dan Same (3rd Sep 2008 14:35)

"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman