Some men complain that the rate of infidelity on the part of hooked (supposedly married) women is on the rise these days, but let’s look at the attitude of our men towards sex, for example. Last week alone, I received a lot of complaints about the appalling attitude of some men towards bedroom activities. I must, however, commend ‘the sisters’ for coming out of their closets to tell Oby their stories…it is said that whoever asks questions hardly misses his/her way and a problem shared is half solved!

Every man should endeavour to get to that “point of no return” with his woman in the bedroom. There is nothing that is more enjoyable in love-making than making an effort to satisfy your partner. A man should not be after his own satisfaction alone…carry your woman along.

Let me also say that it is bad enough for any man to wait for his woman to “beg” before he touches her, but it is unpardonable that she would be the one to make the move to be touched and you still have the presence of mind to turn her down…abomination!

For the fact that she made that bold move at all-a sensitive man will find the strength and determination to reward her. An intimate relationship is one in which those involved can decode each other’s body language effortlessly. You should know when your partner is in the mood and things should run their natural course from that point.

Seriously, couples should learn to ask one another “how was it,” “how can I pleasure you more?” When you are this open with each other, the “forbidden fruits” out there will have little or no appeal to you because you know that you get “caned” (apologies to Dbanj) enough at home. The men are more insensitive in this regard, once he “pumps out”…the Mass ends.

There is also that attitude from our men…almost like once they make a woman theirs, they lose the zeal to keep the passion aflame. Most of them can’t even pretend to make the effort.

A lot of women are beginning to believe that childbirth makes their men find them less appealing in the bedroom. Worse is the attitude of ‘peeping out’ on the part of these men.

Isn’t it funny that one who can’t lift a finger to work on what he has at home readily peeps out?

I know that some brothers have upped their game in major areas of marital satisfaction, but a lot remains to be seen from the majority of them. The sisters are seriously lamenting…how can your woman’s mouth be threatening to tear from the “blow something” that she gives you but indulging her in quality foreplay becomes a herculean task to you, because you just can’t wait to ‘enter the place’?

A lady once told me that her husband bluntly told her that ‘giving head’ is un-African.

My only response to that was…”And blow job is African?’’

Any man that can tell himself the truth ought to have noticed a tsunami of sorts in women’s sexuality (yes, we now unashamedly enjoy the act) and should not be left behind. Read and discuss these things openly with your woman. There is a certain sexiness that comes from having an open talk about bedroom activities with your partner, especially as it concerns your personal fulfillments.

Some of the sisters that reached out also touched on some men’s discouraging attitude towards personal hygiene. Of course, no man needs to be told that women’s taste in men is getting more sophisticated by the day. The days of wearing a pair of boxers for days unwashed, while expecting a good ‘bedroom service’ from her is numbered. You have to make efforts to entice and excite her as well…and your grooming efforts hold a large chunk of the card here. I keep saying this…nothing turns a woman on like a man that smells good.

A daily morning and night bath is a must for a well- groomed man. Oral hygiene should be non-negotiable for a modern man.

By the way, isn’t it MEAN to expect a morning kiss on a bad breath? And I don’t care how long you have been with a woman. Make efforts to make these things easier and sweeter, please.

Do you know what sours relationships?

When you begin to assume instead of making necessary efforts.

May I also point out the drawback called pot-belly in bedroom activities? Every man should be fitness conscious now. Why would any man allow himself to look pregnant when he is not? It jeopardizes your health too.

Bedroom activities are not only enjoyed when bodies are naked, the visual and emotional senses have to be aroused for the body to obey ‘the command’. Making some efforts makes all the difference; nobody expects a ‘movie star looks’ from you.