I have had some things on my heart and mind lately. A lot of things actually…but for the purposes of this post we are going to be talking mostly about mindset, mental dialogue and body image. Its kind of like when you get a new car and suddenly you start seeing all the other cars like yours and you never before noticed before how many there were…When you have something like this on your mind, you start to see it popping up all around you.

So I want to talk about things that don’t often get talked about.

Because above all else, when you are making changes and seeking results, it’s YOUR HEAD where the big changes really have to happen.

And because I think sharing REAL LIFE is important. Transparency is important. Not just the selective highlights that Facebook/Instagram/Twitter highlights tell us…which is really only what others want us to see. This disconnects us from real life and gives false perceptions.

I want to show you some photos. These photos below were hard for me to take. Really hard.

But I am glad I took them. Because I encourage everyone who starts Eupraxia to take the often dreaded “before” pictures. Even if no one ever sees them. Because ultimately this is a place you don’t return to. A place where you can look back and SEE your progress. Something real, that is not subjective, so that you are not relying on a scale alone for progress (which is literally telling you nothing more than your gravitational pull on the earth.)

This is me from just this past August. I was 4 months postpartum with my second baby and just returning to work at Eupraxia. Body image, while still something I struggle with sometimes, was honestly not my biggest obstacle at this point.

But I can honestly say that I was not worried about they way that I looked. At least not worried about being stuck there. Because I had said goodbye to the fat girl years ago and recognized this as simply a step along the postpartum path. Nothing permanent. It took me 40 weeks to grow and birth a human, I expect it to take AT LEAST that to fully heal and recover. I am not, and will never be chasing down my “old body.” That body is gone. THIS body has grown, birthed and fed two amazing humans! It deserves to be taken care of, not beaten into the ground, mentally or physically.

So I decided to do these photos several reasons…

I did not take pictures this soon after I had my first baby and regretted it.

I really try to be as transparent as possible – for self-growth and to help others.

I had a hard realization that, because of what I do for a living, that I was a bit bothered by how I looked, mostly from a credibility standpoint.

Because it is HARD to get up in front of a room and teach fitness when you don’t feel fit…

I want to take a moment and speak directly to the moms reading this. I hope that you caught something I mentioned above…”I am not, and will never be chasing down my old body. That body is gone.” This frame of thinking is so important! Society be damned, every body, and every baby is different. I am also not one of those women who loses weight when breastfeeding. Honestly, most women don’t. The reason we don’t know, or hear about this often? Because no one talks about it when you gain weight or don’t lose a single pound after you have a baby. The minority of women who do lose weight when breastfeeding are FOR SURE talking about it and posting about it on social media. Which is doing nothing good for your mindset and body image. But I digress…

The point here is that I knew I was making mostly good choices. I also knew there were places where I had let bad habits creep in and this warranted change. Nutritionally, for sure, but mostly change needed to happen in my HEAD SPACE! Most importantly I had to acknowledge and accept where I presently was/am still love ME through it all. Because this amazing body grew and gave life to my wonderful little man. And we ALL deservegoodchoices. Mentally, physically and nutritionally.

So whether you have baby weight to lose, have always been overweight, have 10 pounds to lose, just want to tone up, or have 100 lbs to lose…this post is still for you!

Because it is time to practice self love. I am going to ask some questions and I want you to stop and honestly think about your answers to them before moving on.

What kinds of things do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? In particular, what’s going on inside your head when you get out of the shower and find yourself in front of the mirror?

Are you perhaps someone who totally avoids the mirror in a state of undress? Or are you someone who stands there and pinches various undesirable parts of your body?

Perhaps you are someone who has had some success with weight loss and are now zooming in with a microscope on the areas you were just pinching 6-9 months ago? Do you just focus in on the things you dislike about yourself?

What do you say to yourself during these moments?

“Dear LORD look at those saggy arms.”

“OMG your gut looks awful in this shirt!”

“Your butt looks so ugly in those pants, you should change…”

Sound familiar? Seriously, think about this…and now ask yourself: Would you say these things to a friend? Would you even say them to someone you don’t like?

I have been through each and every one of these scenarios; said these things and worse to myself. This is self-loathing and self-sabotage at its finest. And it will only keep you from reaching long-term health and happiness. If you have attached your identity to an area you don’t like about yourself, to an area you want to change, then you must detach yourself from it! What I want to accomplish today is to hopefully inspire you to start to change your mindset; in particular the way you talk to yourself. Because there is a difference between wanting to change and having dislike for yourself or parts of your amazing body.

I am just an overweight person / I am fat, I have always been fat / I have a gut, no matter what I do

Because anything that follows the words “I am…” is true to your unconscious mind. ~Wayne Dyer

Even if you think it, then so shall it be! The insane power of your mind is real and the good news is this means YOU can change it! You have to stop identifying yourself with your problems. Especially in regards to things you want to change.

Because I know what it is like to look in a mirror and see a fat person, no matter what you do. Getting smaller will not make you happy. Changing your inner dialogue and seeing health can set you on the right path. You CAN tell your inner fat person goodbye! Because this is just who you are today. Your choices and your thoughts can change who you are tomorrow. Give yourself the power to be present, don’t live in the past or the future.

Here I am now, 7 months postpartum and I am no where near where I was a few short months ago. Because I made a choice to keep going with the lifestyle I know and love. Despite treats and even some regrets. These moments do NOT undo everything you have been working for!

But I also had to change some things for the better. It’s important to note that this image speaks only to the physical results My choices and head space improvements have also improved my energy, my mood and my relationships. Most importantly my relationship with myself. The trickle-down happens from here.

I used what I have learned at Eupraxia, combined with what I have learned on my own and through my past experiences and new experiences. So I want to share a short-list of things to get you started on hopefully a path to better thoughts, and in-turn, better results from your hard work at the gym and in the kitchen. It isn’t easy, it takes dedication but it IS possible.

Meditate. Before you write this off, I need you to finish this paragraph. Meditation is not just for the woo-woo yogi types. There is legit science to the power of meditation. This is what will help you catch yourself in negative thoughts, catch you reaching for the ice cream or catch you in moments of self sabatoge. Think of it like squats for your brain. Now think about your first day at the gym…It will feel awkward, you will have to practice it to get better/stronger, and you won’t be awesome at it to start. So start light. Three minutes. Use an app (Headspace and Calm are my favorites), or a timer, sit tall in a chair, take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. You’re not trying to “clear your mind,” this is impossible. Instead use your breath as a focal point. Maybe you feel it most in your nostrils, maybe your belly. This place is your focal point. So when your mind wanders, and it will wander, you draw your focus back to this place. Do this until your timer goes off. If you get 2 minutes of the 3, it still counts. Then do it again the next day. And the next. Consistency is key!

Sleep. As a mom, I get it. If can be a challenge! But, I am protective of my sleep and if I can find a way to get it, I will. Find a way. You don’t need an extra hour of down time at the end of the day, you need an extra hour of sleep. The dishes can sit if you have a long day and the laundry will always be there tomorrow. You always have a choice. Make this one a priority and it will make every choice you make the next day better.

Stop using exercise as a punishment for your choices. And don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day. Exercise is a gift, a way to help your health journey, a positive in your life. When you try to “work off a doughnut” you’re making this positive thing a negative experience in your subconscious mind. Acknowledge where you are at presently and make a better choice next time the opportunity presents itself.

Positive Affirmations. Write them on your mirror, write yourself notes, say them out loud. It will feel silly but it will make a difference. Anything that follows the phrase “I am…” is true to your unconscious mind. I am strong / I am beautiful / I am smart / I am intuitive / I am…insert awesomeness here… Embrace feeling like a dork and do it.

Body Beliefs.Read this book. The audio and the eBook are free (you just have to use the link to sign up to his email list) and the hard copy is presently $15 on Amazon. It is honest, inspiring and largely behind this post. I have only scratched the surface here of what took me years to sort out in my head, and this book does an amazing job of laying down the honest facts and gives more amazing tools to help you sort through the crap that’s potentially holding you back. Stuff that’s way beyond my pay-grade

Thank you, THANK YOU for this article. I read it bawling my eyes out–not realizing that I was crying. Everything you said was true and raw! Thank you for that!!! Wben I weighed in for the 6 week challenge, I knew it was going to be bad, but it was much worse than I thought. I was so humiliated, I wanted to run from the gym crying–but I got a stiff back and stood next to Ray Marx, I knew being next to him would make me work harder. The voices in my head were mean “look what you’ve lost-you used to do so many more burpees, push ups, etc!! “why are you here–you are ridiculous!” Then there was another voice that said “Yup–you did take A LOT of steps backwards–but you are here!” By the end of the work out–that new voice finally told the other voices “Bitch–STFU I am here and I am staying because I am worthy and I am strong and I deserve this!!” I say this several times during every work out!!

Results

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