88

65

83.1

88.0

85.8

.564

.544

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

56

97

60.5

57.0

57.7

.378

.359

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Tired of not playing, the Marlins home run sculpture has asked to be traded.

4

68

84

69.8

72.2

74.1

.467

.447

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

There are eight breweries in Milwaukee including Horny Goat Brewing so maybe change the name to the Home Brewers.

5

65

87

61.7

65.1

65.3

.423

.443

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Twins pitchers are last in strikeouts while Twins hitters are second to last in strikeouts. “Oh, wait… you guys… didn’t? Ha! You know what? I just realized something!”

6

68

84

68.6

66.3

65.7

.442

.422

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

You could ask the Mets why Eric Young was leading off, but then you could ask the Mets many many things and really who cares.

7

71

81

63.2

63.9

65.6

.434

.414

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Has anyone thought of moving Roy Halladay to closer?

8

71

81

65.7

66.5

67.1

.445

.425

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Padres choose your own adventure: 16 ½ games out of first and down 7-1 in the seventh inning the manager should: A) leave the pitcher in and go out for a beer; B) A, or C) A.

9

67

86

63.0

67.6

67.4

.433

.453

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Justin Smoak is having a turn-around season. Justin Smoak has two months with an OPS over .800.

10

71

82

70.5

75.0

75.7

.477

.458

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Giants are a game and a half from going first to worst, and 163 and a half games from just staying the same.

11

70

82

71.7

69.2

70.8

.463

.483

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Oh, NOW you win.

12

77

75

76.4

73.9

74.1

.496

.476

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

The Diamondbacks are the guy giving mean glances to the guy at the 7-Eleven who just fist pumped after winning a scratch-off ticket with his scratch-off ticket.

13

70

84

73.2

72.7

69.6

.463

.444

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The starter didn’t get out of the fourth and the game went 15 innings so they had to use 10 pitchers! Stupid Cardinals!

14

60

92

64.0

63.0

62.8

.411

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

'The Cubs have more wins than the White Sox' is probably not a thing that either will put in this season's Christmas letter..

15

90

62

91.1

89.9

86.4

.588

.568

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

When told about the Dodgers playoff-clinching celebration in Arizona, the Braves clutched their pearls and well-I-never’d off to the parlor room to recuperate.

16

51

102

55.8

50.7

53.4

.345

.363

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Astros pitchers have walked 592 hitters this season, the most in baseball and yet Houston is one of the most overweight cities in the country. Conspiracy? You betcha!

17

93

61

95.3

95.4

94.4

.614

.633

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Things as likely as John Lackey pitching the Red Sox into the playoffs: Crystal Pepsi II!, anything involving Steve Guttenberg, curried beef blowpops (“These really do blow!”) and you getting to this part of the comment.

18

64

89

69.5

72.6

72.9

.456

.436

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Every time I see Anthony Rizzo he's doing something good which must mean that six out of seven days he's utterly terrible.

19

89

64

94.0

101.1

100.1

.628

.646

99.9%

0.1%

100.0%

0.0%

0.1%

Prince Fielder had one RBI, two runs scored, three hits, four at-bats, five total bases, and, presumably, six of someone else's nachos during the game.

20

90

63

88.0

87.9

85.8

.575

.594

99.7%

0.3%

100.0%

0.0%

0.1%

Coco Crisp is having the best season ever for a center fielder with a terrible arm and an OPS in the mid-7s. And for that he should be saluted.

21

80

73

74.3

66.4

68.2

.472

.492

0.0%

1.0%

1.0%

-2.4%

-15.7%

Joba Chamberlain’s night: walk, single, homer, exeunt!

22

82

71

79.2

80.6

78.9

.524

.504

0.0%

1.2%

1.2%

0.2%

-0.9%

The Nationals finally are using Winning Magic! which is a steroid.

23

80

72

81.2

74.7

75.9

.513

.533

0.0%

4.0%

4.0%

-0.4%

-0.6%

James Shields leads baseball in quality starts with 25, which is 25 more than Wil Myers has.

24

81

71

80.9

78.0

79.1

.525

.545

0.0%

9.0%

9.0%

-4.8%

5.2%

Adam Jones' homer was it for the O's offense. There's an argument that it went so far it should've counted twice, but Baltimore lost by 3-1 so

25

89

64

93.8

86.5

86.4

.581

.561

64.9%

35.1%

100.0%

-0.0%

0.0%

The starter didn’t get out of the fourth and the game went 15 innings so they had to use 10 pitchers! Stupid Rockies!

82.0

79.8

80.4

.531

.551

0.1%

48.9%

49.0%

6.6%

26.5%

83

69

84.0

83.3

83.1

.548

.568

0.3%

66.8%

67.1%

9.8%

-18.9%

Yu Darvish decided to challenge the Rangers. "If I pitch badly," he thought, "they'll feel guilty and they'll have to score some runs!" Tune in tomorrow for a very special episode to see if it worked and to learn some life lessons you'll immediately forget.

28

83

69

79.8

88.4

88.9

.559

.579

0.0%

70.0%

70.0%

-8.7%

3.3%

A stupid argument for leaving the starter in no matter what: The Rays are 6-2 when their starter throws a complete game and less than that when he doesn’t.

29

88

65

82.3

85.0

85.9

.558

.538

18.4%

81.3%

99.7%

0.0%

-0.2%

The Pirates lead baseball in hitting opposing batters and in getting hit by the pitch. The baseball gods have spoken.

30

87

66

89.4

89.9

89.9

.582

.562

16.7%

82.4%

99.1%

-0.2%

1.1%

Joey Votto's 10 year, $225 million contract starts next season so you can probably take a year off from sending him a gift come holiday time.

I looked it up last night to see if I was using it correctly and Google gives this for the definition: "used as a stage direction in a printed play to indicate that a group of characters leave the stage."