This is a personal preference in the way shifters work. With Shimano, once you get 105's, you'll get diminishing returns on performance. It's mostly about weight and durability. Between Campy, Shimano, and SRAM it's a preference in the way the shifters feel.

Preference again - different gearing, but you don't see Suntour on road bikes much these days, those sound like MTB numbers on it. Triple, double, or compact depends on fitness level and where you are riding in addition to preference.

Most bike brands downgrade less important components to save money without really sacrificing performance - brakes, brifters, crankset, seatpost, and handlebars are the usual suspects. Most brands also try to get away with the least expensive wheels that don't look bad, and that's one area where one bike will truly be a better value.
What I recommend is to talk to people at your bike store, make sure to test ride and get fit. Get what fits your budget and what shop provides the best service.

Well you found this site, that is a start

It has a beginner section in and I think sticky notes or FAQ's.

You describing one component or aspect as better than another, in who's eyes? Really the majority of bike parts and frames are personal preference and needs and/or what you are willing to pay. Speed is very tough to buy, that comes from within the rider themselves, how hard he is willing to train to be faster, some genetics, etc.

We are both in about the same shape. When we ride I am always bringing up the rear by at least 5 minutes.

I know if I want to keep up we should both be riding the same type bike.

You are right in thinking that you will be able to keep up better on a road bike. A road bike will be much faster than a hybrid, even a pretty nice one like your trek.

I want to buy a Road Bike but don’t want to assume that if it cost $700+ that it is automatically better quality.

Bike shop quality road bikes usually come with better components and better designed frames than the same company's hybrids. The main reason is that a road bike is geared toward an enthusiast who wants something performance oriented, whereas hybrids are geared toward the casual cyclist who isn't as concerned with performance but comfort. There are hybrids that cost upward of $1000, so hybrids are not necessariy of a lower quality than a road bike, but geared toward a different rider. Road bikes do tend to be more expensive because their frames are more expensive to produce due to the effort to keep them light, and their components are often more complex.

I am looking for a book or website that will help me select shifters, deraillers, saddle, seat post etc…

This is a good website. But stop into you local bike shop. They'll be happy to explain the many differences in quality and price.

Apples to oranges, my friend. One is entry level hybrid shifter, the other is entry level road STI shifters. You wouldn't be able to put those SRAM shifters on a road handlebar. Shimano road (as well as MTB) components come in a variety of quality levels and price points. The higher level components will shift better and brake better. Shimano road levels go Sora, Tiagra, 105, Ultegra, Dura-Ace, with Sora being entry-level and Dura-Ace high. Most recreational riders will be more than happy with 105, maybe ultegra. For a starter bike, Tiagra will work fine, and Sora will at least get you into the sport and function.

A couple differences--the FSA has higher gearing, meaning higher top-end speed is capable. Also, the FSA crankset will be lighter weight and stiffer than the Suntour for hard pedaling efforts. Means less energy wasted in the mushiness of the crank, more power to the rear wheel, better shifting.

Like I said, stop in at a bike shop and take at look at what they have to offer and advice they can give. Purchase bike that fits, and you'll probably have to start waiting for your friend instead of playing catch up!

Wheels being left out of this...just focusing on shifters, brakes and drivetrain components.

Component groups for cycling can be a fickle thing. For the most part, the (now 3) major brands function pretty darn good at all levels. The mid range of each group like 105 or Veloce (I'm not familiar with Sram...) will work flawlessly. Any real gains from there are weight reduction, fit and finish and long term durability.

Bike fit is the most important issue, and it certainly will be addressed here. I found the basic position of a Hybrid to be uncomfortable after a short period of riding. Once you get accustomed to riding a "racing" bike, you will be more balanced and less weight will be on your lower back. Position, comfort and balance = efficiency. Most well known brands offer good quality, but it's all about personal choice of what feels best to you in fit items like pedals, shoes, handlebars, etc...

You don't need to spend a lot of money to enjoy a nicely set up bike. Your riding mate has a nice bike and you could very well get something in that range new or used, there are many options....