Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

In most circumstances I would have to agree with you, but if I were Jillian, I would want to keep someone like Ed on a very short leash. Let me say that I would never be interested in someone like Ed.

Was Jillian's dating history, other than with Jason which doesn't count, ever discussed? I recall her negative remark about the commitment issues of the men in Vancouver, but did she ever allude to serious relationships and their length? From a woman's point of view I thought that she knew how to play up her best features and was cute. From a man's view-point she may have been missing the physical features that they consider to be desirable. In my experience, women like this develop great flirting skills and are likely to play the s*x card very early to keep men interested.......as if to say,"I may not be drop dead gorgeous, but look what I will do."

She was not on my list during Bach 13. She looked well-dressed and well-groomed, but the Condiment Theory struck me as a lame pick-up strategy.
Her 1-on-1 date made me cringe as did the dancing and singing on the bar. She came across as phony and contrived. That carried right through her season until Reid's HTD. She emerged from the phoniness and showed an endearing Jillian/Reid couple. She was herself....and that's who she wants to get away from. She wants to be Paris Hilton and hook up with a bunch of guys and not be called out for it. She wants to be engaged in front of the world, at least once, maybe every six months....who knows. I am waiting for the release of her first perfume........ which would smell like snow and flowers....oh yeah and gasoline.

There is nothing about Ed and Jillian as a couple or as individuals that could hold my interest.......I avoid their videos, I skip over them in articles, I fast forward their segments on dvr because it makes me uncomfortable to watch two people who seem to be trying too hard to show that they are in love. It is much like listening to music that is not in tune.

Brilliant post! I completely agree with everything. Jillian was never all that interesting to me when she was on The Bachelor, and while I found her cute and spunky initially this season, by the end of the season her lack of class became increasingly evident (similar to Deanna) and Ed seemed a great choice.

Reid was a breath of fresh air on the show... I have not seen any contestant before who was so likable and so able to be himself. The conversations between Bachelors/Bachelorettes and contestants shown are usually focussed entirely on the players' developing relationship; there is virtually no discussion of anything real (current events, politics, religion) and no real humor (eg soy grande, I have 4 girlfriends and 3 wives, etc). Kiptyn and Ed this season were no exception. Maybe this is just the way the players are edited, but Reid's edit was a real departure from what we have seen before in pretty much any season that I can remember (and I have watched far too many!).

I think it would have been hard for Jillian not to fall for Reid, although I am not sure if under real-world circumstances he would have been as interested in her. I think that the reason that all the men end up falling for the Bachelorette, whoever she may be, is that they are otherwise deprived of female contact and entertainment while they are on the show... there is something primal there.

Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

Originally Posted by lavender1960;3628241;

That will certainly be Ed's position.

Serial womanizers are very slick, he could have Jillian completely snowed and may continue until he makes a fatal error.

I've seen it and heard similar behaviour with my own eyes and ears - that is why it is very hard to be a friend who finds out someone's husband [or wife as the case may be] is cheating on them - if you tell, they'll shoot you, the messenger, especially if homeboy, who has been lying to his wife all along so he's prepared for this and has a plausible answer for everything but if you don't say anything and your friend finds out you knew you were a traitor. Sigh. I would bet that some women won't even believe photographs or a videotape. Only if the other woman lands on her doorstep one day or she actually catches them in the act.

Now if you have an open marriage as some people do, whatever. Maybe Ed and Jillian are closet swingers. Hey there are people like that you know. More the merrier. Not my concept of a relationship.

I was just wondering where this characterization came from? I haven't seen anything here or anywhere else to get this? Yes, I know there is discussion of 2 ex-gfs. But I have also seen descriptions of these relationships on here - again, from Bloomers I think - and I would not necessarily say this puts him in the serial womanizer category. He more strikes me as one of those guys who was not very popular growing up and has now discovered that women find him attractive. There was some "sowing his wild oats" out there - and some guys are definitely better at dating multiple women than others. IMO, if all parties to the situation know that it is not a monogamous situation, then there is nothing wrong with exploring multiple relationships at the same time. The main question is disclosure. I don't know what Ed told these women. I don't know how much of this is on him and how much of it is on them. I have known plenty of women who, despite the guy they are dating being honest with them, have their own views and opinions of what the relationship really is and getting very nasty (unjustifiably so IMO) when the guy ends it. Now if he was telling both of them they were in an exclusive relationship with him, that sucks and I feel bad for both of them. From what has been posted on here, it appears that at least one of the girls did not necessarily have this view of the relationship, as they had been off and on for years, and does not appear to have hard feelings about anything. The other appears to be looking at things a little differently. Whether he lied to her and it is on him, or whether she misunderstood or didn't listen and it is on her, I don't know.

But, IMO, this is only relevant to Jillian if she doesn't already know all this and hasn't made an informed decision based on it. Some women have said they would never do this to another woman. Again, IMO, it depends on what the relationship was and what was communicated to her. If full disclosure was made and the relationship was not exclusive, which it sounds like it wasn't - then what has she really done that is wrong? And what has he really done that was wrong?

Maybe something will come out that will prove what a snake he is. I guess I am starting to really wonder about that. If there was email/text proof, why hasn't it come out yet? Everyone keeps talking about Ed putting himself in a hole based on what he has been saying in the press. For all the things people think about Ed, I just don't think he is dumb. If these girls were in the same circle of friends, don't you think someone would have clued him in by now about what was going on? In which case, if he really had something to be afraid of, wouldn't he be doing a better job of covering it up/watching what he is saying? I am really starting to wonder if we are not going to get anything more than a person looking for their pound of flesh - at which point it become he said/she said. There will be believers on both sides - based on whether you liked Ed or not. But at the end of the day, it will be about Jillian, what she knew, when she knew it and whether she is ok with it today. From the way they have been in the media, I am starting to think she knows and is ready to deal with whatever comes.

And speaking of primal, there is also that alpha male hunter instinct to catch the prize or the prey, in other words beat out the other men, just for the sake of beating out the other guys, especially if there has been drama between the men, I'll show him, etc,. what else to you have to concentrate on. Or it is the theory of cognitive dissonance is in full play... I am here competing with all these guys for this woman, I've taken time off work, I am exposing myself to public humiliation, I must be attracted to her and have feelings for her so I may as well go with it..............and the whole setup perpetuates that. For some of the men, not all, I sincerely hope. They do say it is harder to get men for the Bachelorette shows than women for the Bachelor show.

Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

Originally Posted by atlMD;3627995;

Has Jillian really moved in or she's spending sometime right now? I thought she said she'll be moving in with him in September. Move in now or later is a bad idea IMO. I think they could afford to see each other twice a month and gradually develop a stronger relationship, get to know each other on a more real basis, afterall, Ed is rich and I am sure they can afford to fly back and forth. I just think Jillian should think hard before moving herself to a whole new environment. Right now everything seems rushed, they just need to take things easy and slow down some but ofcourse I am not Jillian and wouldn't have settled for Ed under any circumstance so...........

Why a bad idea?

They have been staying together since the show wrapped in Hawaii. Why wouldn't they continue?

Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

In most circumstances I would have to agree with you, but if I were Jillian, I would want to keep someone like Ed on a very short leash. Let me say that I would never be interested in someone like Ed.

Was Jillian's dating history, other than with Jason which doesn't count, ever discussed? I recall her negative remark about the commitment issues of the men in Vancouver, but did she ever allude to serious relationships and their length? From a woman's point of view I thought that she knew how to play up her best features and was cute. From a man's view-point she may have been missing the physical features that they consider to be desirable. In my experience, women like this develop great flirting skills and are likely to play the s*x card very early to keep men interested.......as if to say,"I may not be drop dead gorgeous, but look what I will do."

She was not on my list during Bach 13. She looked well-dressed and well-groomed, but the Condiment Theory struck me as a lame pick-up strategy.
Her 1-on-1 date made me cringe as did the dancing and singing on the bar. She came across as phony and contrived. That carried right through her season until Reid's HTD. She emerged from the phoniness and showed an endearing Jillian/Reid couple. She was herself....and that's who she wants to get away from. She wants to be Paris Hilton and hook up with a bunch of guys and not be called out for it. She wants to be engaged in front of the world, at least once, maybe every six months....who knows. I am waiting for the release of her first perfume........ which would smell like snow and flowers....oh yeah and gasoline.

There is nothing about Ed and Jillian as a couple or as individuals that could hold my interest.......I avoid their videos, I skip over them in articles, I fast forward their segments on dvr because it makes me uncomfortable to watch two people who seem to be trying too hard to show that they are in love. It is much like listening to music that is not in tune.

Interesting post, blasie.
I don't dislike her but she was a disappointment in some ways maybe because she is Canadian and I had hoped for someone more refined to represent us?
Some of the things that have been bothering me:
-talking about her sex life on Nat'l TV, not even Shayne, the typical sex kitten went that far.
-Ed has seemed a touch uncomfortable or ill at ease during the interviews (not sure why, could be any # of reasons) but it's like he's in over his head.
-how many times I heard her say that the guys "adored" her (or some such thing) I didn't see evidence of that and it's presumptuous on her part.
-that someone like AC would focus on the sex thing, yuck
-her comment (which I have referred to many times) that women would be proud of her at the end. I'm still puzzling over that..what was she thinking?
And as far as her moving in with him, that's fine and all but why would she feel the need to advertise it? Why not keep it private and personal?
I don't know, it's all very weird.

I'm so tired of the scripted lying... yes it's TV, but by definition does it have to be more scam and less reality if the ratings might soar with some honesty.....MF needs a conscience-transplant and ratings from happier fans could be the surgeon......so many are obviously tired of being constantly manipulated............ like the non-smarmy contestants that have been there in good faith and 'dumped'.

I ask again,what would clean up this show for you..... what would RESTORE SOME REALITY...... and I'll throw out my first example again... less splice & dice of the natural conversations we're dying to hear

Re: Last Words ... Bachelorette 5

Originally Posted by lavender1960;3628310;

And speaking of primal, there is also that alpha male hunter instinct to catch the prize or the prey, in other words beat out the other men, just for the sake of beating out the other guys, especially if there has been drama between the men, I'll show him, etc,. what else to you have to concentrate on. Or it is the theory of cognitive dissonance is in full play... I am here competing with all these guys for this woman, I've taken time off work, I am exposing myself to public humiliation, I must be attracted to her and have feelings for her so I may as well go with it..............and the whole setup perpetuates that. For some of the men, not all, I sincerely hope. They do say it is harder to get men for the Bachelorette shows than women for the Bachelor show.

While I agree with you that this is out there and exists, I just don't see it with any of the final 3 guys. Dave, yes. Maybe even Wes, yes. But Kiptyn, to me, came off as a genuinely nice guy who could care a less - sort of like when you are already at the top and you know it, you don't have to prove it. Reid actually came off as self-deprecating and sweet. I don't get alpha male from him at all. And Ed (and I know you will disagree with me) strikes me as a lovable dork who is trying to show that he is not. The choice of clothes, some of the comments he makes, the way he walks and sits (and crosses his legs) - none of this screams "alpha male" - or "guy's guy" (which is how I take it) to me.