How much does it hurt? Couple of grand maybe?

Isn’t it odd how insurance and people not quite telling the truth seem to keep cropping up together?

The Daily Telegraph this week reports that nine out of 10 GPs believe they have seen patients “who have exaggerated their injuries for the sake of insurance claims.”

Compare this with a mere two in 10 who believe they have seen ghosts or UFOs, and we can quickly see that claims cheats are three and a half times more likely to exist than that of either of those other disputed phenomena.

The original source of this amazing statistic is groovily named insurer LOVE, whose survey of GPs also found that four out of five doctors suspect some of their patients have completely made up their supposed post-accident afflictions “for the sake of claiming compensation.”

A staggering 92% per cent of GPs cited whiplash as the most commonly exaggerated injury. Who could possibly have anticipated that shock finding? Sixty per cent thought more people were exaggerating lately, blaming Britain’s culture of blame.

LOVE’s director of technical claims, Martin Millinilliner said: “Anyone trying to get money for an injury that doesn’t exist is not only breaking the law but also wasting valuable NHS time and resources.”

Bankstone News has done some supplementary research and discovered that injuries that do not exist include: hyperextension of the transverse nasal reticulum, acute traumatic Pelligrinitis (Walsh-Cowell syndrome), gross inflagration of the hyper-tibial maelstrom, and mysteroid disjunction of the dorsal gander.

Reports that the Duchess of Cornwall is complaining of a severe pain in the neck following yesterday’s unpleasantness en route to the Palladium are as yet unconfirmed.