As you can imagine, I wasn't impressed. I delicately offered that he might be able to do better than that if he thought of his poetry assignment a little differently. See, Landon has been known to pen an original song or two. I have had the privilege of listening to a few of them. I suggested that a poem is something like a song without any music.....and then we moved on to discussing the weather.

Fast Forward to picking Landon up from class.

Of course, I was curious about how the poetry reading went. He told me he decided to write a "real" one in class....He said he read it and his teacher cried. Intrigued, I asked him to share it with me. This is what he read.

I Am New

By Landon Winningham

How could you, God, love me?
How have my works impressed?
For if I had been at your cross,
I am sure I'd have voted your death.
And this heart that beats in my chest,
I wonder,
Is it evil,dark like the rest?
And who is this person inside me?
What does he want with my life?
I wonder,
Would I be any different, if I never knew that you died!?
But no matter the beautiful paintings I have broken
Or pictures I have opt to go without,
Still the frames that I have not been inside,
Are broken because of my doubt
Then, kneeling down at this crucifix
With my heart in desperate need of care,
This God whom I don't even know
Lifts me
And I am new, standing there.

When it was over, I burst out crying.....ugly face, unexpected tears. It hit me out of nowhere and all I could whimper was "Yep...well..."

I had been slain by poetry.

I know I have messed up the beautiful picture that God has painted for my life many times. I have chosen emptiness and despair over the fullness and joy of Christ. I have doubted and feared but I know He doesn't give up on me. Never. He is ever faithful to pick me up and continue the good work that he started.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

He didn't know I was scribbling his response down word for word as he spoke.

I didn't plan on recording it at all but when I realized my 15 year old was actually taking the time to answer thoughtfully, I seized the moment!

......and also because he mentioned me in his top 3.....and I was touched.....and I wanted it writing.

I will record it here for posterity and amusement.

Me: Landon, what are 5 passions you have and why?

Landon: Football, Guitar, my Mom.......um.......oh.......sheese......I guess music would fall under guitar. Ok. Fitness, not really weight lifting but anything fitness related...Friendship, being a good friend, and Girls.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Donavan, we are here today to talk about the process of Infant Sleep Training. What are your thoughts on that?

You know, the process of allowing your infant to "self-comfort" as he drifts off to sleep, safe and snug in his crib at bedtime.

It's said to take only a few nights of training where each night the amount of adjustment crying is less and less until finally the child goes to sleep on his own. Even upon waking up in the middle of the night he is able to put himself back to sleep, thereby allowing his parents much needed rest as well. Your thoughts?............

Monday, November 12, 2012

We have been doing some work on our barn for a while and it's really coming along pretty nicely. The last project was a small one compared to some of the other rather overwhelming tasks we have taken on and still have yet to complete. Sometimes the small things are the ones that bring me the most happiness, like this little light fixture. Its so CUTE. I really like it a lot. I should have taken a picture of the pitiful, lonely light bulb sticking out above the door before. The Man was too quick in removing it for me to snap it.

But OH! how I love to look at it!. It's such a picturesque barn door now, more welcoming and HAPPY. Never mind the hole above the door knob and the aweful door color. I'll, hopefully be fixing that soon. I'm thinking a nice french or robin's egg blue ;). Just look at that sweet little light!

And THIS guy right here makes it all possible. I love it that he does silly little things like this for me when he really just wants to finish plumbing the bathroom. Don't get me wrong, I like a flushing toilet in the barn as much as the next gal. But this little light of mine..........﻿

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I've never been much of a planner. I'm very comfortable with last minute spontaneity, which comes in handy in lots of areas of my life. I get bored easily with routine. I have gotten better at scheduling as I have gotten older and developed more appreciation for the security of a routine but flexibility has alway been a friend of mine. Or so I thought.....

To say that my Love and I were completely shocked at finding out about baby number 4 on the way after 12 years since our last "baby",would be completely untrue. Though my enthusiasm was certainly masked by my nearly constant nausea, my Love was generally ecstatic. His constant strength and faith was my saving grace early on. To be completely honest, I found myself wandering around the house in a fog, repeating things like, "This is stupid","I'm turning 39","Really??!". Not to mention, I found myself a little embarrassed when relaying the news to family, friends and acquaintances after hearing initial responses like,"Was it a surprise?" and "Wow!...How old is your youngest?", "Better you than me.", not very many congratulations. However, I have to say that my parents' and sisters' responses are my absolute favorites to recall.

I had my parents on speaker phone, and to my releif, they screamed, laughed and cried at the same time. I could feel their genuine happiness for me and it was such a blessing. Both of my sisters did the same thing. Oh! It blessed my heart!

Fairly and providentially speaking, I do have a couple of good friends who were around my age when they birthed children, and they expressed heartfelt congratulations. Food for my soul. The only kind that didn't make me sick!

So, were we surprised? Not really, after all, this was no immaculate conception. Was it all planned out by my Love and I? Not exactly. The only one who knew the plan all along and is never surprised is God Almighty. I placed my future in his hands many years ago and I rest in knowing that he loves me. He has a plan and a purpose for me and for this precious one I carry and he has had it in his mind's eye since before I can even imagine.

One nauseatingly early morning a few months ago,while I was having some quiet time, trying to make sense of all that I was feeling, God lead me to a book on my shelf and a quote inside. It gave me such comfort and it renewed my strength enough for me to say,"It doesn't have to make sense to me. It makes sense to God and I trust in Him."

The Greatest Force

When God wants a great work done in the world or a great

wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way.

He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth

his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born,

perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother.

And then God puts the idea into the mother's heart,

and she puts it into the baby's mind. And then God waits.

The greatest forces in the world are not the

earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces

in the world are babies.

E.T. Sullivan

I read that and I wept. I wept at my lack of faith, I wept at God's personal love and tenderness for me, and for the many joyous things to come that are yet unknown to me.