Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Why so aloof? I hated you from Day One

This one is about J. J was a girl I knew in college. J is the titleholder for my longest relationship, two years of off-and-on with a girl who I never like.

I had the good fortune for most of my college life to live on co-ed floors. You seriously, as a guy, cannot fail to get laid in this environment.

J was in the study lounge while me and my roommates' buddies were watching a hockey game on TV. J was a freshman who was having immense trouble pulling together a paper for her ENG 100 class. She needed a lot of help -- in fact, time would eventually flunk her right out of college. Whatever the case, someone there told her to get me, because I was good with papers (see my first post for mention of my academic paper racket in high school).

So, I helped her. And she ended up needing a lot more help, knocking on my door a lot. And we spent a lot of time together. And as happens when boys and girls spend a lot of time together, a relationship developed.

J was always a pain in the ass. She was chubby cute, but not peculiarly my type. I didn't relate to her at all. I didn't like any of her stories. She never got any of my jokes.

She also was prone to whining about her ex-boyfriend back home who had been like her only boyfriend through high school. She even once came back from break with a pregnancy scare that subsided. So, to be clear, he wasn't an ex-boyfriend in the strictest sense. He was more like a boy back home who she still fucked.

Bear in mind, I was never particularly invested in J. So, I could have really cared less who she was fucking.

But, stories from J also got increasingly disturbing. She told a lot of stories about being sexually abused. She even claimed her boyfriend had raped her. And she wasn't untoward to letting me know that I was a prick and that I fit in nicely with all the other asshole men in her life.

So, that felt like a good time to break things off.

That wouldn't last. I'll give J this: she went big. She asked me down to her dorm room, chased her roommate and her best friend out. She locked the door, stripped down to her underwear and basically offered herself to me. I hemmed a bit, because frankly she was crazy. But, considering most of the relationship centered on the fact that I didn't give a fuck and she was always an easy lay, it wasn't long before I had my hand in her underwear and was massaging her to orgasm.

That's actually my big memory of J, besides the simple fact that she was nuts. When she hit orgasm, I could feel the twitch inside. From a physical standpoint, she had a very hard and pronounced orgasm.

Things with J went like this off and on for two years. I used to give her all kinds of vulgar, degrading nicknames and she took them as terms of endearment. In truth, she stuck as long as she did simply because she was persistent.

After two years, she finally flunked out and was gone. I found out when her best friend came by my dorm room the first day of the next semester. She let me know that J was gone and she also made it less that subtly known that she felt she was right for the newly open position of my girlfriend.

I saw J once more after that. She decided to make a trip up in the middle of winter a year later. I let her stay at my apartment. She bought a shitload of booze. As the night dragged on she stripped down and sat there naked in my apartment wearing nothing but a robe barely covering anything. She got drunk and berated me for not wanting to fuck her. She eventually got her way.

I left about 5 in the morning to get breakfast. When I came back, I got it both barrels for not staying with her all night. At that pointed I told her to get a shower, get her stuff and get out.

And that's how the longest relationship of my life ended. The second time.

I still cannot justify my relationship with J. Aside from the fact that she was always available emotionally and sexually, I don't have an explanation. I never liked her. I never got along with her. She just happened to be there and didn't care what else was going on in my life.