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Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

I think that can be normal. But if you don't introduce them as ex's, how would he know?

For him, I'm sure it has to do with jealousy. And a fear that you might take an ex back. So if he does want you to introduce you to one, then make sure he knows there's no possibility of it (assuming there really isn't, of course...)

Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

I could understand it.

You seem like the type that would flirt, or allow them to, and cause drama. As I recall more then some of your threads here concern your ex's. I could see him not wanting to spend the evening/next few days in an argument over you and your ex's petty bar drama.

In general, I think it depends on the situation, maturity, and drama levels involved. I'm friends with a couple of my ex's, and I've met one of my BF's Ex's - it wasn't a big deal.

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

It depends on how long you have been in a relationship with your current boyfriend,. Sometimes, during a relationship's early stages, there are issues with trust and faithfulness. Some people can be extremely insecure in this period and, in some cases, it takes them a long time to truly trust the person they are with - I think that talking about the situation and reassuring your current boyfriend about the genuineness of your feelings, as well as your level of commitment to the relationship you have with him, will indubitably help him to eventually overcome his jealousy.

With that said, if he has such severe issues with trust, maybe there are some underlying problems that need to be addressed between the two of you...

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

I would generally assume that my partner's Ex was a very cool and fun person, unless I'm already told otherwise - because the person I will be with would indeed be a good/fun/cool person. I would assume that my partner wouldn't have chosen a horrible scumbag of a person who would eventually become his Ex (perhaps because of these traits).

I could not possibly be jealous, under normal circumstances, because that Ex changed my partner's lifeline and time line, and had some influence in my partner's evolution into a person who I would currently love. I am NOT counting a situation where he is still carrying on something like a relationship with the Ex, though, which likely would make me feel otherwise. As long as my partner is devoted to me - or perhaps it's a "one-rung-down-the-ladder" relationship which is an open one and also more of an open relationship - it would be cool.

If not for a partner's Ex, it is rather possible that we would have never met, and/or without the effects of the Ex on his way of life it would be possible we wouldn't have gotten along.

Of course, since I don't have a partner, some of these thoughts are only what I assume to be true, and how I'd react.

"Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking." -The Scarecrow, WIZARD OF OZ, 1939"If Hitler is dehumanized and shown only as a devil, any future Hitler may not be recognized, simply because he is a human being/" - SWASTIKA, 1974Make, for a man, a fire - and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man afire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.Satire is meant to ridicule power. If you are laughing at people who are hurting, it's not satire, it's bullying. - Terry Pratchett

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

If you are in a relationship, no matter how recent, you really should be secure enough in each other to cope with seeing one of his exs. If you are not then it would seem to me that you already have problems.

Mind you 4 of them in one night is a little excessive for anyone to have to cope with at the beginning of a relationship? I think the movie outing was a sensible compromise on your part. At least it showed that you were capable of taking his feelings into account.

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

I'm not sure if I'm rooting for your bf's feelings on this topic to be ruled, by the masses here, as "normal" or abnormal. Obviously you don't think his feelings are "normal", otherwise you wouldn't have posed the question, and he likely feels justified in his stance. I'll tell ya, if I ever found out my bf was asking a bunch of strangers whether or not my feelings were "normal"...I'd be pissed.

Please keep us posted on the get together with your ex this week, without the bf...and how well that went over with him.

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

I have never been jealous/hesitant to meet, or spend time around an ex's ex. They're an ex for a reason. Maybe the initial attraction faded, they had personality conflicts, whatever, it's the past. It doesn't mean they're bad people.
If your boyfriend doesn't want to be around your ex's there's one or more reasons;
He doesn't trust them
He doesn't trust you
He trusts you not to cheat, but doesn't like the way you have/will interact with/around your ex's.
You've asked him on numerous occasions if he would mind you messing around with some other guy....how should he feel walking into a room with multiple men he knows you've slept with?
He's not being unreasonable.

Re: Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

^ I don't think it's the compatibility that people get jealous of. I think it's closer to the fact that they likely had sex with them. It's an overreaction in my book, but still. You see them as what they were, not what they are.

Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.