Meet ‘Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy’, Wendy’s New Monster Cheeseburger

Say hello to the new Godzilla-sized, to-heck-with-your-diet Wendy’s burger. It’s the same as the old one, save for the thicker, “never-frozen” half-pound beef patty, crinkle-cut pickles, red onions, extra cheese, buttered and toasted bun, and no-more-mustard.” You can get your hands on one starting today.

If that sounds a bit like an ad, we suppose it is — the perils of describing something (food) in detail that we all need, more or less daily, to survive.

How many calories are we talking? A whopping 810, of which 430 (48 grams) are pure, scrumptious fat. What do you get in the bargain? Iron and protein, mostly, some calcium from the cheese and some vitamin A and C bringing up the nutritional caboose.

Wendy’s apparently came up with this thing using a pickle chemist. Yes, a pickle chemist (so sayeth the Associated Press, anyway). They also sampled customer opinion (always a perk) and deployed Wendy’s muckety-mucks on a burger-gobbling tour.

The result: You’re looking at it up top, a monument to over-the-top consumerism, as well as a shot across the bow of competitors like McDonald’s and up-and-comers like Five Guys.