Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day after day, Maha tossed and turned in bed wondering when she would be able to sleep in peace again. A tear crept down her cheek and she fought the urge to break down, just like she did everyday until she eventually gave in and cried herself to sleep.

The images were vivid in her mind, replaying itself like a movie. She had sleepless visions of a young man, not just any young man, but the one she had fallen head over heels in love with. They always started the same way, with Fahad sitting on a bench in the park, wearing a lazy grin that never failed to make Maha's heart skip a beat.

He waved at her as she made her way towards him and pulled out a rose from behind his back and handed it to her. Maha burst into a fit of giggles at his gesture and smiled shyly before plucking the rose out of his arms and placing a soft kiss on his cheek to show her appreciation.

Fahad brushed his fingers across her cheek and exclaimed, 'I love everything about that smile of yours'. With that Maha turned around and displayed one of her goofiest grins which caused Fahad to chuckle and pull her into his arms.

The recollection of these thoughts forced a smile onto her face that even she couldn't fight in her sleep.

The pictures that followed were unclear, and the next few months replayed itself to Maha as a blur before it came to a standstill once more. She could feel her heart pounding and felt a knot tighten in her stomach, a feeling she'd grown accustomed to over the time.

Fahad was standing in Maha's apartment and they were both yelling things at each other with Maha's voice growing fainter with every remark. "Things aren't like they used to be, you always seem so detached and you act like you're doing me a favor by spending time with me"

He looked at her with cold eyes before remarking, "I am doing you a favor, aren't I? Look at yourself, you don't have any friends, any place to be, or any place you belong". A tear slid down Maha's face as she exclaimed " you know I threw all of that away for you", he sneered and said "look at where that got you", and began walking towards to door and before he left he went "and you're right, things aren't like before, and they'll never be, you were a mistake I don't intend to make again" and with that he slammed the door shut and walked out.

Maha stared at the door in disbelief and felt herself break down completely with tears streaming down her face. She had given up everything to be with him, everything, lost her friends, rebelled against her parents and lost her respect as a whole, but she didn't care what they thought as long as she could be with him. She sobbed even harder as she remembered all the things he said to her about them being together.

Every day she awoke from her sleep on a tear stained pillow and not an ounce of energy in her body. Every day, she replayed the account of her dream in her mind and every day, she felt worse and worse for herself.

But today her dream didn't end when Fahad walked out the door and instead Maha picked herself up off the floor and pieced together the fragments of her heart Fahad found a way to shatter and with that, for the first time in months, Maha drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

The next morning Maha awoke, like always to a drenched pillow and a broken heart, but as the first rays of sunshine began entering her room, she felt a lot more light hearted.

She pulled out her journal and flipped through tear stained pages and ripped out notes, before reaching a new page where she wrote, in 4 simple words, all that was needed to help her move on, "Today will be different".
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Hey loves,

I know it's been an awfully long time, but what can I say, 2010 was not the most pleasant and was definitely a rough and hectic one. I intend to be doing a lot more with my time this year and hopefully I'll be able to stick to my resolutions :p

Here's to welcoming 2011 with arms wide open & I hope that not just me, but every single one of my readers gets the year they've been waiting for.

Expect to see a lot more of me from now on,

I've also started off my own tumblr which I may or may not post a link to due to privacy reasons but I will let you know about that in the next post

p.s for those of you who haven't watched Burlesque already, I highly reccomend it. Everything from it being Moulin-Rouge inspired down to the gorgeous shoes had me enticed! Definitely a chick movie for the years to come