Some changes I would rather not have

Sunday, November 03, 2013

It has been a rough week, several people close to me are very ill. It makes me melancholy because life around me is changing and I am anxious about what it will look like. I have found myself hiding in the house and pulling back from being engaged with others. It is easier to fold up rather than add more opportunity for pain. I am involved with those close to me and will be as strong as possible to help their families through the difficult times ahead. But the effect on my life and the empty spaces they will leave make my eyes tear up. I am allowing my self to grieve for those who are in pain and for myself and the loss I am already beginning to feel.

I read a blog Be yourself..everyone else is taken by Beth and her words echoed with me. (Do stop and visit http://moredoors.blogspot.com/ and enjoy the beautiful photography)

These thoughts are from the blog but fit so well with what I need to do to help me through how I am feeling right now.

Make others laugh
Make yourself laugh
Be, donít be back there or too far ahead, just be here
Love deeply, love like there wonít be a tomorrow,
Be thankful when you wake up, the past is the past, leave it there
Eat Broccoli
Play in the leaves
Donít keep your feelings inside
Quiche can be eaten three times a day
Walk, walk a lot,
Donít wear clothes that make you feel ugly
Drink more water,
Figure out what makes you happy and do it
And Last but not least, let me repeat. Be here, Be Present

My thoughts go out to anyone who is feeling a loss and I hope that we all come through our journeys with our focus to have happiness in our days and to add happiness to the lives of those we love. I am so grateful that I found SP, getting healthy and strong will help me through the stress and the people I have connected with have helped me to understand myself better.

Tomorrow I will be back on track but tonight I am going to allow myself to feel sad. But food will not be involved I have learned how to take care of myself.

Oh baby. The fact that your soul is so open to others is even more important than being "on track." This truly is ON TRACK. Once I disengage from the work life, I hope that I'll be as in touch with others as you are now.

Is Beth the woman whose blog you put us in touch with? I hope she's not the one who is ill. Do you know her well? Her blog should be a book!

Oh Sunny - I am so sorry that you are feeling the pain of grief an anticipation. Helping those in need is very thoughtful during this difficult stage of Life. Perhaps you may be able to find a Bereavement Group through your local Hospice . I found that to be very helpful through some difficult times- Hugs Karen - I am here if you need someone - Karen

I am so sorry that you have to go through this painful time. It is hard to let go of loved ones; it is hard to think of life without them. You will have the strength that you need to support the families and yourself. I am sending prayers for you; for the ill and for their families.

I'm sorry there is so much trouble and anticipation of loss around you...The quote is beautiful and wise.Being there in the here and now, not too far ahead really helps in difficult times.It is good you allow yourself feel the sadness, feeling and accepting is the only way out and forwards.