In the summer, I have a habit of staying up late. Perhaps it is a bit of nostalgic youthful defiance, nudging my older wisdom out of the way. Whatever the reason, I enjoy staying up to read, write, or watch an old movie in my quiet house on my own terms. As I head to bed after one such late night, I turned off the kitchen light and navigated through the darkness toward the stairs. I could have turned on the light near the stairs but my decision to be efficient and not waste steps back and forth, motivated me to move in darkness. Of course, I bumped into a chair here and piano bench there until I noticed a ray of moonlight creeping in through the skylight which gave me just enough light to find my way with no further disruption. Believe it or not, those few moments propelled me in retrospect, to contemplate life, obstacles, and guiding lights.

I started thinking about how so often in our busy lives we come to a place of darkness. Those insurmountable moments when we feel overwhelmed by life’s circumstances and we are not sure how to navigate. Blindly, we bump into, over, and around obstacles that present themselves when we least expect it. Then, we bemoan our predicament, not seeming to be able to find a way out. We complain, vent, and explain our situation to anyone that will listen yet we resist moving forward. The darkness feels familiar.

So, why does this darkness feel familiar? Even though it presents us with such unhappiness and disappointment, we linger, making the same choices over and over again. I believe it was Einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So, it would seem that staying in the darkness is a product of our self-limiting thoughts and choices. That night in the dark, I could have made the effort to turn on a light and return to close the other but my decision to be “efficient” deterred me from action. Was I really efficiently moving in the intended direction as I bumped into objects in my path? I would say not. But I still chose this way, even though, having done it on many other nights, I experienced the same result. A better idea might have been to re-evaluate my view of the situation and make a different choice. If we all tried that in our most trying moments, we could actually make a difficult situation more manageable. So, recognizing that sometimes we are our own worst enemy is the first step toward establishing sanity.

As we make leaps and bounds into letting go of faulty thinking and embrace choices that support us, we need to pay attention to the moonlight. Despite our selves, that ray of moonlight shows up, that delicate clarity that graces our existence as it invites us to move in a better direction. I couldn’t help but notice the moonlight that night. It had a guiding force as it lit the way. When we are open to receive guidance and blessing, we will find it. It’s there when we are lost, confused, doubtful, and resistant. We only need to open to the possibility in order to experience that guiding light in our lives. Just as we can become empowered by changing our thoughts and behaviors, we can become transformed by surrendering to our guiding light, the light of a higher power. When we find that force and embrace it, it embraces us back. So, here is something to contemplate- what is your guiding light?