5 burning questions from a mom who watches way too much "Puppy Dog Pals"

My son doesn’t really watch television (yet) as much as he just insists it be on. Puppy Dog Pals, to be specific. He will hold the remote less than an inch from my face as he requests I put on “pup pup.”

Soon he’s nowhere near the TV, happily immersed in a puzzle that I've been instructed not to touch. So I sit. I watch him, check email, microwave my coffee for the fourth time. And before I know it I’m the one watching.

Bingo and Rolly, the pugs who are always on a mission, are familiar faces in our home. My son may be the superfan with the shirt and toys. But I’m the one wondering why Bob can’t take a cab after his eyes are dilated at the optometrist. And a few other unanswered questions.

This is what keeps me awake at night. Well, this, and a million other things. Yes, I know it’s a cartoon. It’s fun. And it’s intended for kids. But that doesn’t mean Bob can’t come home at lunch every so often.

At the very least, get the number of Esther's iguana sitter and see if they walk dogs. Just an idea, Bob.

Is Bob being taken advantage of by his employer? I know he’s an inventor. But have you noticed that he works long hours, long enough for his pugs to travel to France and back? Does he get overtime or is he salaried? In the time he’s at work Bingo and Rolly are able to travel internationally. Plus go on a mission while there. They find the stolen Mona Lisa, or get Bob ice for his tea, and return home -- all before Bob is back from work. Let's do the math here, even if we’re just talking about the trip to Hawaii. Assuming they live in California that’s a five-hour flight. One way. And it’s not like you arrive to the airport and hop right on your flight. A conservative estimate would be at least 13 hours travel time, plus the mission. Don’t even get me started on the trips to China, England, and Egypt. All which bring me to my next question…

Is Bob the world’s worst dog owner? Who leaves their pets alone for three-quarters-plus of any given day? Sure, Hissy is fine. She’s a cat. A.R.F. is a robot. And yes, Bob makes them fantastic inventions to play with. If the Go-Long Retriever were real I’m sure it’d sell out immediately at Petco. But Bingo and Rolly need walks, companionship. He can’t rely on a cat and robot. What if A.R.F. short circuits? Hey Bob, ever hear of a dog walker? Given that you work 15+ hour days I’m guessing you can afford one. Oh, and remember the time you couldn’t tell your dog apart from a pig, so you took the pig home with you and left your dog on a farm? Not cool, Bob.

How do Frank and Esther afford to travel so much? In my next life I want to come back as either Esther Exposition or her husband, Frank. They are always traveling around the word. Are they retired? Independently wealthy? Maybe they are just highly skilled at budgeting their finances. I'd love for them to share tips. Or, if they manage their lifestyle through a credit card that earns airline miles I want to know which one it is. Anytime Bingo and Rolly travel Frank and Esther are always there. And if we’re asking questions, who watches her pet iguana, Iggy, while they’re gone?

How did Hissy survive being shipped from China? When Hissy was accidentally thought to be a toy cat she was shipped from China to Wherever-The-Show-Is-Set, U.S.A. In a box. No food or water. Oh, and let’s not forget the coincidence that Hissy was bought by Bob’s neighbor, Chloe, who happened to be in China with her parents. Bob saw Chloe’s package and brought it in for her. A.R.F. freed Hissy from the box and that was it. Didn’t Bob ever notice Chloe’s package was empty? Did she get home and wonder where her toy cat was? Did her parents track the package? You can’t leave me hanging like this.

How are Bingo and Rolly able to travel on airplanes, in seats? I get that they sneak on. It’s cute. But how do they end up in seats? I once took my cat on a flight. I had to book well in advance, pay a special fee, and keep him in a pet carrier. The pugs, however, stroll right on -- last minute -- and get their own seats. And it looks like they even have extra legroom.

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