Beatrice: Just leave me alone. I’m not popping pills or anything like that. I’m just trying to shed a few pounds the natural way.

Joel: The natural way? You mean like that diet you were on a few months ago where you only ate Monday, Wednesday, and Friday? Or that other diet you were on before where you drank 50 cups of water a day?

Beatrice: Those were fad diets that didn’t work. I’m onto a new diet that’s guaranteed to take way those unwanted pounds and to reveal my slimmer self.

Joel: You sound like a commercial, or an infomercial. Is that where you found this diet, on some late-night infomercial?

Beatrice: It doesn’t matter where I heard about this diet. It only matters that its scientifically proven to help people lose weight.

Joel: All right. I need to shed a few pounds. What’s the secret diet?

Beatrice: I’m not telling you. You’ll only make fun of it.

Joel: No, I won’t. Tell me.

Beatrice: All right. I only eat orange-colored foods.

Joel: What?!

Beatrice: I said, I only eat orange-colored foods. I’ve eaten a lot of oranges and carrots.

Joel: I can see why you’re so grouchy. You’ve lost your bleeping mind!