This Couple Had A Bacon-Themed Wedding

Because I am a grumpy love-hater, I do not like themed weddings. Well, I guess I don’t mind them (at least not nearly as much as I hate obnoxious proposals), but I am admittedly perplexed by some of the themes chosen. The ocean or another special place? Also sure. Fairytales? Sure, a little incongruous depending on the story, but sure! Your occupations? Sure, sure, sure. But a bacon-themed wedding? Just straight-up…meat?

Well, that appears to have been the theme for Adrienne Dunvan and Eddie Quinones who were wed in San Diego this weekend. They had won a contest to have a bacon-themed wedding — yes, this is apparently a popular enough dream that it has been made into a contest to attain — and therefore held their ceremony at the Big Bite Bacon Fest.

The pair walked to the alter on a bacon-printed carpet where local radio station Star 94.1 DJ Jesse Lozano officiated their ceremony. Naturally, Quinones wore a bacon boutonniere and Dunvan held a bouquet made of bacon roses, while guests tossed bacon bits (as opposed to rice). Their wedding cake was bacon-themed, there were maple-glazed doughnuts with bacon on them and, I can only assume, half the guests had to be carried away after their previously-healthy veins became spontaneously clogged like somebody shoved Crisco in a pipe.

On the bright side, at least they can finally stop using pesky bacon condoms. From what I hear, you can barely feel the meat with those on.