Sports? Check. Babes? Check. Awesomeness? Absolutely.

Here’s a Clubland niche you never knew needed filling until now: a sports bar with dancing girls. The concept makes so much sense my head hurts.

On North Main Street, in a spacious room formerly occupied by the Latin teen dance club La Teen O’s, Bikini’s Sports Bar & Grill celebrates the Neanderthal in all of us without coming on like a stupid beer commercial. The service is Johnny-on-the-spot, the food (old standbys like burgers and wings) is greasy-good, and the vibe is friendly, not pretentious.

Bikini’s fits in somewhere between a Hooters and a Coyote Ugly. And, yes, the help at Bikini’s is equally good-looking. Yet unlike at those two chain establishments, where servers are required to keep a certain distance from male customers, the women of Bikini’s aren’t as encumbered by Big Brother. They also don’t have to wear pantyhose and silly orange granny shorts. Cowboy boots with denim mini-skirts is more like it.

“The waitresses every once in a while will dance onstage, but then we have other girls who dance in bikinis and different outfits,” said Bikini’s manager, the mononymic Billy. “They’ll have clothes on. … It’s not a topless bar, but our girls might give you a table dance.”

Which brings up an interesting question: Since sexual arousal and elation over victory on the gridiron/hardwood/ice share pretty much the same real estate in the average dude’s cerebral pleasure center, is Bikini’s taking a chance by squeezing the two emotions together even further? I mean, when his favorite team loses, one meathead I know – let’s call him Anthony Mariani – doesn’t want to speak to or see anybody. When his beloved Steelers win, he actually develops what in some countries passes as a personality. The moral of the story: Here’s hoping that the Cowboys, Mavericks, and Stars have great seasons this year. How well our winter-sport home teams do may determine whether Bikini’s is around for baseball season – and the hotter weather that’s sure to bring out the bad girl in every Bikini’s server. (Fingers: crossed.)

The news gets even better: Bikini’s expects to have its TABC paperwork completed by late December, so until then, the beer is essentially free. (There’s a $5-10 cover charge at the door.) Even better: Starting next weekend, Bikini’s will serve late-night munchies ’til 4am on Fridays and Saturdays.

Just when you thought Fort Worth’s nightlife was behind the curve, along comes the future of sports bars encapsulated in one place.

Bar Crawl

When the setting for your art exhibit is essentially a work of art itself, you gotta have some gonads. On Monday, recovering corporate-minion-by-day Justin Bryant is having an opening at Pop’s Safari Cigars & Fine Wines for mixed-media pieces of his that will hang there for some time. The Cultural District joint could have been decorated by Hem himself. The timing, during the season of giving, is right for Bryant. “The whole thing’s like me saying, ‘Hey, I want to throw an art show because, fuck it, I can do it,’” he said. “Yes, the paintings will be for sale, but whatever I don’t sell, I’ll probably just give away.” Local pianist/vocalist Sara Donaldson will perform. The party for Bryant’s Black and White Colors in Christmas goes from 6 ’til 10pm.

Correction

In last week’s column, Last Call misidentified the owner of Rick O’Shea’s. It’s Rick Couch. Last Call regrets the error.