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Monday, June 29, 2009

I very much appreciate the level of efforts you go to to make sure that Grandy's account is safe from identity theft. I can even appreciate that although it was somehow YOUR FAULT that somehow our information may have gotten into the wrong hands, you thought it was most prudent for them to issue new cards. That was very thoughtful.

What I don't exactly understand, however, is that although you sent me a new card last week, and a letter explaining what had happened, that you decided that all of a sudden SATURDAY would be a good day for you to flag the flipping card.

You see, your bank is not open past 1:00 on Saturday. So when Grandy has a ga-zillion things going on at one time, she maybe doesn't make it to the bank to activate her card so she can set her pin. After all, nobody remembers the damn codes you send in the mail, so I need to get to branch to activate a pin. Because Grandy likes to promote local commerce, she uses your small bank for the sense of "community" she gets when she walks in to your remote location, she can't necessarily make it to your branch before you close at 5:00 30 miles away from her dang office.

Grandy is at her new favorite store, BevMo. Did you know they are having their 5cent wine sale? Oh yeah, Grandy walks up to the counter with 6 bottles of wine (I swear they were not all for me alone) with her debit card in hand. She swipes the card, and has the following dialogue with the cute young man at the register:

- Him: Ma'am (because Grandy LOVES being called Ma'am) do you happen to have another card? This one is not working.- Me: What? Why? There's money in there!- Him: I'm not sure.- Me: There must be some sort of mistake. ::swipes the card again and notices long line forming behind her with only this ONE register open::- Him: Ma'am (there's that word again) would you please look at my screen.- ::Ty and Grandy look up at the same time to witness the following:: PICK UP...SUSPECTED FRAUD.

WTF?!?!

- Him: Ma'am (now he's starting to piss me off)...I don't want to have to take your card.- Me: Okay, there is obviously some mistake. Please set this box aside and I'll go outside, call the bank, and see if I can straighten this out.

Grandy walks outside thoroughly pissed off and calls the bank. YEP!! The money is there! She proceeds to a nearby credit union to get some cash, ass-u-me (ing) that there is some sort of issue with BevMo's machine.

Guess what Bank Management...THAT DANG ATM KEPT MY F*&K*!!G CARD!!!When Grandy called your bank to calmly discuss her predicament today, and could hear several customer service reps in the background discussing the same thing, she was a little more than irritated when Lucy (the bank twit) acted like it was not a big deal at all.

All cards were deactivated. WTF? REALLY??

You are lucky, you bank butt-heads. You are lucky that I drove 20 miles home, activated the card, and could use it as a credit card so I could put gas in her car to get to the Special Olympics the next day. We would have missed out on some amazing experiences, and Grandy would have had to come down you and show you WHY she doesn't like to be called Ma'am.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Despite triple digit temperatures, Grandy & Ty ventured out to volunteer with the Special Olympics of Northern California today. We worked the Tennis Venue, and met some AWESOME folks.

Barbara was an independent woman, who lives on her own, who had such a joy about her. She was AWESOME!! She used that word with everything, and her enthusiasm was so contagious. She also happened to think that the "babe shagging the balls was SO CUTE". Oh yeah...the babe? You guessed it...

Obviously Barbara has excellent taste. She was adorable as she hit Mr. Ball Fetcher directly with the tennis balls, and giggled profusely.

As a scorekeeper, I got to interact with the participants in the skills competition. These are some talented folks who, although they work hard, don't necessarily possess the skills to compete in a full match.

My partner athlete was Shilo. She was equally adorable and enthusiastic. She seemed to get a bit nervous when it was her turn, but as her scorekeeper, I would stand where she could aim at me and she did GREAT!! Each person had this charm and enthusiasm about them, it was absolutely great. We didn't even mind the fact that it was hotter than the depths of hell...so much.

At the end of the event, it came time for the announcement of the medals. Adorable Shilo, who had only picked up a racket a couple months before last year's event and still scored a silver, was anxious to know how she did. She wanted a gold SO BAD! Her mom was there with her, and I could tell she wanted it for her too.

The Special Olympic Oath Reads: "Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt." I couldn't help but be nervous for all these athletes who worked SO HARD, and yet want to hug each of them who were so very brave throughout.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Saturday was the "Celebration of Life" for our sweet friend who passed away suddenly in her sleep. I struggled a bit with whether or not to bring Ty, but recognizing that he and his friends also needed to be around each other, we went.

The celebration was truly a symbol of the lives this lovely woman touched. The music from her iPod played throughout, and each song told it's own story. There were many testimonials about the woman she was. She was a daughter, a friend, a boss, a mentor, a wife, and a mother. She was beautiful at being all of them at the same time.

As the afternoon wore on, Ty approached me with a look on his face I couldn't distinguish. I hadn't seen that fear in his face since Dad passed.

"Mom, I need to talk to you about something I heard," he said. His best friend looked just as serious standing next to him. I had been in the kitchen washing dishes (because I have to do SOMETHING) and took them both to the side.

"What is it?" I asked.

They leaned into each other and started to whisper. I could instantly tell it was a "should I say it / you do it" kind of discussion, which was making my gut sink lower and lower. What did they break? What did they do? Tell me...and we'll fix it.

"We heard there was an argument between H and her Mom the night before she died, and some things were said." Out of respect, I won't go into specifics about what was said, but as I saw the concern on these boys' faces, it broke my heart.

These boys, who I have watched grow for many years together, and who are going through every part of adolescence from the physical and emotional changes, are concerned about this young lady and the guilt she might feel in that last argument with her Mom. These boys stand taller than I do now, but in that instance I took them both in my arms and gave them a big hug as I explained the following...

As Moms we understand that things get said out of emotion or hurt feelings. We all say stupid things at the wrong time. With that being said, it is important to point out the power behind our words. It's alright to say I hate doing homework, or I hate Mondays, but to use hate towards someone is a heavy thing. Mom knows that H did not mean what she said. If and when H decides to talk to you about that, I hope that you will reassure her of this. She will need you two, and all her friends, at any time.

The looks on their faces was one of confusion. They knew what I said made sense, but they didn't exactly know how to process it. These sweet boys. They looked at each other as the walked off, and I watched them shake their heads with pride. They can't get over the guilt they would feel if something like that happened to one of them.

As parents, we hope and pray that we can be the one our children come to in just such times. We want to help them through the heaviness, and although we wish we could take pain away from them, recognize that we cannot remove it all as this is how they grow. We hope that what we say helps them, and that they don't have to carry the heaviness for long.

What I said must have made some sort of impact with them because they returned about 15 minutes later with a question most appropriate for the occasion. I want these boys to still be kids. It's important to celebrate life, appreciate what we have in our lives, and go with that. My reassurance was paid ten-fold when they came back with...

Monday, June 15, 2009

Then she logs into her email and is yet again rocked to her shoes with bad news.

A very sweet and lovely woman, who's daughter is just around my son's age, and they are friends, passed away in her sleep on Friday. WTF?!?

This lovely woman was about my age folks! She was beautiful, and such a good friend to so many. She and I were never that close, as our schedules kept getting in the way. But we sure could have been. She was my kind of lady for sure!! She was amazing!!!

She leaves behind a great husband and father, a beautiful daughter, and a young son. She will be missed for sure!!

Life is all about perspective folks. As I'm struggling with my own life events, struggling to keep things in balance and keep things together, I'm reminded about how truly precious life is.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Throughout the years we find ourselves in certain situations that we suddenly look up and ask, "Where am I? And how did I get here?"

We commit to things in our lives that seem like a good fit at the time, and you start doing it for all the right reasons, but then somehow...somewhere...it's not working. We try and try...and try again...and we just can't get our heart into it. When you start to do things out of obligation, as opposed to doing things because you want to, it seems like it would be time to cut your losses and walk away.

People walk from commitments and obligations all the time. There's a right and a wrong way of doing things (as with anything) but they do it. The reasons why they walk should be unimportant to others, but that is never the case. Managing perceptions is never an easy task anyway, but I don't want to have to care. Why the heck do we care what people think and say anyway?

As you can tell, Grandy does care about what people think and feel. She swears like a sailor wears her heart on her sleeve when people around her "need" her, or are hurting. Maybe we focus on others so that we don't have to address what's happening in our own lives, in our own heart. But really, it's probably just an excuse.

At any rate, Grandy has realized she needs to grow a set of something, if she's going to find her way to the next chapter in her life. When people are counting on you, you do what you have to do. You don't have to like it...but you do it anyway.

So readers, give me your perspective. Tell me about a committment you have had to step back from. Share with me how you did it, and how it worked out. It can be big or small, Grandy takes on all committments and needs to scale WAY back.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Quite often this blog has helped me to put my life into perspective. If I'm trying to cope or deal with something, it has been a source of release to either vent or joke here. Writing helps me find the humor in things, and if I can laugh about them, they don't bother me as much.

Through things like, "Grandy has to have another surgery", I post about the horrible food or the crazy whacked out nurse that helped me. It's kind of a great coping mechanism.

Lately, I'm afraid even the blog hasn't been able to give me the outlet I've been searching for. I realize that my posts lately have been uber-crap (or at least in the Grandy-caliber scale). I come to my blog, see my "community" and apologize to you all for the lack of quality here in Grandy-land of late.

Recently I've been carrying a load that has tinted my blog-colored glasses. I can't mask things this time. I can't find the humor. It just plain sucks. So what did I do? I pulled away, posted randomness, and failed you all. I haven't even been able to bring myself to come read many of you in quite some time. Believe me, my readers are not the only ones to realize I'm different lately.

This morning I read this post over at Mama Mary Show. Mary is a beautiful writer who has a club. It's called the Dead Dad's Club. A club for daughters who have lost their fathers. She's even compiling a book of stories from members of the club (yes, a few of mine have been accepted for this book). The post made me cry, and it made me feel.

That's what I try to do here, and that's what's been lacking. Because I've been afraid of feeling anything, I've been blocked from writing anything of quality. Even as I write this, I'm choked up with the sense of..."Uh-Oh...here it comes!" But I write anyway because I realize it's time for me to do so. Wherever the journey takes me, we shall see. Whether I post all my writing here, we don't know that either.

Thank you for sticking around when I couldn't. You couldn't understand what it means to me, but I will try to make it up to you.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Grandy is not about money people. She works hard, busts her butt, and does what she can for her and her family. It's not about how much she makes, but how much the needs are being met. Sometimes the needs and the wants get blurred a bit.