Aren't we sick of these stories? Do I really care about the status of Charlie Sheen's recovery? What I do care a lot about is the state of the average American guy. And for him, I am pretty darned concerned.

When I found out Tiger Woods would offer a public apology last Friday, I wanted to hear it. It isn't my responsibility to judge his sincerity. But I was interested because of my own experiences with amends.

Tiger Woods doesn't owe us a thing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. Not contrition. Nothing. Unless a public figure has broken the law, there is only one legitimate answer to the illegitimate probing of private lives: "It's none of your business." That said, purely on its own terms, Tiger's apology was, pardon the expression, par for the course. You can just picture his handlers working on the statement and going down a checklist. Accept blame: check. Look right into camera: check. Touch hand to chest: check. Watery eyes: check. Defend wife: check. Accuse the media: check. Hug mother: check. Go back to rehab: check. It was déjà vu all over again. Another public figure navigating the now-requisite Stations of the PR Cross.
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"Once we heard Tiger's claim 'My wife never attacked me' said a GM spokesperson, "it was obvious that the vehicle itself must be at fault. Sports celebrities are attracted to Cadillac Escalades like magnets, and apparently so are golf clubs."