My name is Cyril Vanier. I am a reporter working for France 24 TV and I recently chanced upon your blog, speculating about my death.

I am writing this email to ask you to kindly remove it from the web.

Thank you for the interest you take in France 24 and its journalists, but this kind of speculation is harmful.

It causes distress for family and friends, and can potentially make reporting in the field unsafe.

As I am sure you meant no harm, I expect you won’t mind removing the paragraph about me -along with my picture- as soon as possible.

Please let me know when it’s done.

Regards,

Cyril Vanier

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Just a quick note on arrangements for the nude portraits. Don’t worry there is absolutely no danger of them falling into the wrong hands. As soon as the garda investigation is complete, the pictures will handed over to personnel from my department who have many years of experience in transporting priceless works of art. They will be taken under Army escort to a secret location, late at night, and destroyed in the presence of two independent clergymen.

I can also assure you that increased security is now in place in all the main galleries to prevent a recurrence of this regrettable episode. In fact, we had a brief emergency at the National gallery, only yesterday after receiving reports that a nude portrait with your likeness had been found in the Italian Room. Luckily it was a false alarm. On inspection, the offending figure turned out to be a cherub in Botticelli’s masterpiece, the Madonna and Child. But staff remain on high alert.