Wedding tips that you need to know

Tuesday

May 27, 2008 at 12:01 AMMay 27, 2008 at 5:31 AM

As if the main projects of setting up a wedding — such as securing the perfect venue somewhere close to the date you want and finding the dress to end all dresses — weren’t stressful enough, there are tiny details, and the devil’s most likely in them.

Michelle L. Quinn

As if the main projects of setting up a wedding — such as securing the perfect venue somewhere close to the date you want and finding the dress to end all dresses — weren’t stressful enough, there are tiny details, and the devil’s most likely in them.
Here are some of the more common things you’ll want to think about but likely won’t because there’s 5 million other things to do.

Tipping vendors

For an event that’s already going to cost you your firstborn, the good news is you’re not obligated to tip anyone if you don’t want to. However, it is good form to do it in most circumstances, so here are a few rules:

Your hairstylist/makeup artist

They should definitely be tipped anywhere between 15 percent and 25 percent after they complete the work, depending on service intricacy and quality.

Deliveries/Set-up

Each person involved in bringing things and setting them up should be tipped $5 to $10. Leave the tip with the catering manager to handle.

Reception staff

Normally a “service charge” or gratuity of 2 percent for the people who coordinate and oversee the event is written into the contract, but if it’s not, 15 percent to 20 percent of the food and drink fee is the rule. Tipping other staff, such as wait staff, bartenders and parking attendants, will also likely be included in the contact; if not, the general rule is $20 to $25 per bartender and waiter, $1 per guest for coat check and $1 per car for parking attendants.

Either the person paying for the reception or the best man can slip the cash to the maitre ‘d at the end of the night.

Music

Whether you’ve hired a band or deejay, they should be rewarded for their efforts. Typically $20 to $25 for each band member, or between $50 and $150 for the deejay, is adequate.

Transportation

Tipping is expected and may already be written into the contract. Otherwise, 15 percent to 20 percent of the total bill is acceptable.

Ring metals

Yellow gold is the traditional wedding metal, but platinum has been exceptionally popular for the last several years because of its brilliance and heartiness against everyday wear. But it’s also more expensive because it’s a rare metal, so if you’re sold on the white metal look, you might want to stick with white gold, which is much less expensive.

Men, on the other hand, have been looking more toward stronger metals such as titanium and tungsten for their rings because of those metals’ durability and scratch resistance.

Changing your name

This will involve a lot of paperwork from each and every institution with which you do business, and you should make a list of them. The ones you should tackle first and foremost, however, are your Social Security number, driver’s license and passport; log onto https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps6z/FOLO/fo001.jsp for your nearest Social Security office and your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles for the instructions.

Negotiating with vendors

If you’re lucky to have the extra money, hiring a wedding planner to handle the vendors is the easiest way to take care of it. Since many people don’t, though, the best way to negotiate with vendors is to never lose sight of your budget, be friendly but firm and do your research as to what other vendors are charging for the same service. And above all, never let a vendor know they’re indispensable.

Wedding insurance

Unless you completely trust everything about how your special day is going to pan out, securing a policy that would cover liability and protect you if the wedding is canceled for various reasons is a good idea. Looking up “event insurance” online is a good way to find companies that deal in this type of coverage.

Addressing the invitations

Write the recipients' full names, official titles (i.e. ‘Doctor,’ ‘Professor,’ etc.), first names and suffixes. Single attendees’ dates should get their own invitation; unmarried couples living together should be addressed alphabetically. Children under 18 don’t need to be included on the envelope, but those over 18 should either be addressed by their full name or receive their own invite.