Date: Mon, 06 Mar 2006 07:34:39 -0400
From: JT Ogden
Subject: CHAPTER 9- NEW- GAY COLLEGE SECTION
INSERT TYPICAL DISCLAIMER HERE
Here is where I left off in Chapter eight:
"This is why I feel even a little comfortable about telling them
(Will's Parent's). Because no matter what, I know I will come back here and
you will be here."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I don't know. I don't want to subject you to the things that may
occur."
"No worries, it gives me something to do." I said in a joking tone
"Asshole."
"No, in all seriousness, I want to come, because I know I will need
you when I have the nerve to tell my folks."
With that Will kissed me."
Now on to Chapter Nine
So after talking to Will and even quite possibly, trying to talk
Will out of coming out to his folks so soon, he determined that we, yes we,
would tell them at dinner on Friday evening. Every Friday night, Will makes
time to have dinner with his family. It always took me a while to try to
comprehend that Will and his parents had to make special time to meet. I
mean they were living in the same town, but it would take an appointment
(or that's what I called it) for them to be together. It was just an odd
concept for me. That's one of the reasons I went away to school. Sure my
folks wanted me to go to the university twenty minutes from home, but I
know if I did that I would be seeing my folks frequently, mainly them, but
I know I would want to see them too. That's why I went away to school; to
gain some independence.
Will and his family we not like that. Maybe it was the fact that
Will had already been away when he was an exchange student in high school,
or maybe they just weren't a close family. At that point, I really didn't
know. Every time our folks came up in conversation, Will wouldn't really
say much. He would listen quite contently, but never really say anything of
any depth about them. All that I knew was that Will's Dad was an
Environmentalist (a hippie in his older days, but is now working on `the
man' from the inside) and Will's mom was a prominent Lawyer in the
area. That's it. He has a couple older siblings, but even then he didn't
really talk about them.
So as the week progressed, you could tell that Friday Night was on
both of our minds. Will and I both have our own ways of dealing with stress
and the unknown. I, as you could already tell, am very vocal, emotional and
anxious. So to make sure I didn't worry Will, I tried covering these
things up, but in retrospect, and I think I just augmented each one further
by my poor attempt of denial.
Will on the other hand was the pure opposite. He was somewhat
withdrawn, but he was quiet a lot. I could see the worry in his eyes, but
Will being the strong silent type, he didn't want to burden me with his
worries. I think that is what worried more than anything else. Not the fact
that Will was about to come out to his parents and introduce me as his
boyfriend, but the fact that Will was suffering with worry, but he kept it
to himself. Needless to say, the unknown really sucks!
I tried quite a bit to get Will to talk about what he was feeling,
but he wouldn't give me anything of depth and would often change the
subject to something quite trivial. It was frustrating, but I didn't want
to push Will, so we left it at that.
He did let me in one way though. At night, we would just lay with
each other. This seemed to be the only place where Will would let me into
his kingdom of worry. It was never said by words, but Will would snuggle to
me quite a bit each night. I would be the one that held him in my arms as
we went to sleep. He would not even get into our bed until I had arrived
back into the dorm. The night before our dinner with the folks, I had to
pull a late group work project to finish a management paper with my team
and didn't get back to the room until 1:00am. When I arrived in the room,
Will, looking totally exhausted was asleep in his computer chair. It was so
sweet, and touching that he didn't want to go to bed until I got back I
felt bad and good at the exact same time. I gently nudged him, he smiled,
grabbed my hand, and we went to bed, with Will cuddled as closely as
humanly possible where we had a deep sleep.
The next day was FRIDAY. The day was circled on every calendar in
our rooms. We both had a full day of classes but neither of us went to any
of them. We were really good about going to class, and we knew that we were
in no shape to learn about debits and credits in my world and Japanese
artists in his world. We slept for as long as we could, and for most of the
bed we just laid around, just being in each others company, as difficult as
it was, as we were both extremely nervous. But eventually, we knew we had
to get up shower and get ready for dinner at his folks.
At about 5:30 we left the dorm to walk to his parents. It was about
a half hour walk to his place, so we went. After about five minutes of
walking in silence, as I was sure neither of us knew what to say, Will
looked at me, and grabbed my hand. I knew at hat moment we were doing the
right thing. Will totally wanted to be with me, and he didn't care who
knew it. We walked that way until we just about reached his house. He
dropped my hand when it came into view and I didn't blame him. I mean he
didn't want to walk into his parent's house and the first thing they see it
that "their baby is a big `mo." We made it to the front door and went
inside. There was no turning back now.
We went in, said hi to them, as Will's older brother David was
home, and said hi to him too. I had met them all before, so I think they
were expecting that they were having dinner with Will's roommate. I don't
think they knew what was hitting them.
For supper we had this beautiful fish dinner that Will's Dad
prepared. It was gorgeous. There was a lot of small talk going around the
table, I was sitting next to Will at the table, and I held his hand under
the table cloth for as much as possible to show that I was there.
Then the small talk came to me when Will's dad asked me in a joking
manner about Will's prowess with the ladies. The comment really took me off
guard and I was seriously have difficulties in answering him. I hummed and
hawed, not really sure how I should respond when Will said
"About that, Dad. I have something I have to tell you and mom about
that."
"Oh god, Will, you didn't get a girl pregnant did you honey." said
Will's mom.
"God no mom, you couldn't be further off. I was about to tell you
though that I was in a serious relationship, with someone that I truly
love."
"That's great honey, when will I get to meet her Willy?"
"You already have."
"Who is she? We are all so curious." Will's dad piped in. At that
moment, Will brother David finally clued into who it was. The shocked look
on his face and the stare at me determined that for me.
"umm Dad..."
"Not now David, Will's about to tell us about this relationship he
is in."
"Yeah, Mom and Dad. I am so deeply in love it's not funny. I can't
go a minute without thinking about JT."
Then a piece of fish went flying across the room. This was due to
the shock of the news causing Will's dad to spit out the fish that was in
his mouth. Then there was silence. More silence. Then his mom spoke.
"Are you sure dear?"
"More sure than I have ever been in my life."
Then his parents look at each other, then glared at me, then went
back to Will and said "this is a real shock, and it will take some time to
get use to. But Will, you are our son and we love you."
They got up and they hugged Will. They still have yet to
acknowledge me, and for the rest of the supper, neither of them said two
words to me. It was kinda awkward for me, but Will didn't feel that way. He
had that weight lifted off his shoulders and you could see the grin on his
face. I didn't have to heart to remove that, so I just sat their and kept
feeling awkward.
Then when it was time for dessert, Will's Mom asked Will and David
to go into the kitchen to fetch some ice cream and to warm up some of the
apple pie in the stove. They went as they were told, and it was just the
three of us left at the table.
"So you think you can turn my son, into your sick and perverted way
of life." His mom spoke.
"Excuse me." Oh oh! That's all I could say. In my mind I was
screaming for Will, but I couldn't verbalize those screams.
"No I wont excuse you faggot. I am going to give you a check for
$50,000. Enough money for you to transfer and have your tuition paid. You
re going to leave our son alone and you are not going to say a word of this
to him. Do you understand?" His mom replied
"No I don't. I thought you were ok with this."
"No We are not fucking OK with this you cocksucker. Our son is not
gay; he is confused by what you have told him. That is why we are getting
rid of ok. So here is the check. Do we have an understanding?" His dad
said.
"Yes we do, but I will not take this check. (And then I ripped it
up- This really did happen, I swear.)I will leave Will alone, because I
don't want to come between him and his family. I love Will too much to hurt
him." I was starting to cry.
"You are a stupid fag, but as you wish. I am going to ask you to
leave." His dad wished.
I didn't respond. I just left the house in tears. As I was running
out, David tried to stop me, I looked at him, and tried to say something
but I couldn't. I just kept going and going and going. I don't know why I
run when I am totally upset, but I do. I was running so hard, that I
couldn't breathe. Either the magnitude of what just happened was causing a
panic attack, or the fact I just ran a mile straight, but I couldn't
breathe. I sat down on the curb on the side of road, still crying. Trying
to do anything to catch my breath.
Then I heard footsteps, coming towards me quite quickly. I really
didn't want anyone to see me like this but at that time I really couldn't
stop the waterworks. Then I heard the most beautiful voice call out to me.
"JT!"
It was Will. I got up and wanted to run, but I was still winded. I
couldn't get away from him.
"David just filled me in with what happened with my parents. He
heard the whole thing. I knew they would have a problem with this, but I
never knew that they could sink that low. FUCK!!!"
"I am sorry Will; I never wanted to hurt you."
"You haven't. My parent's are just fuckheads."
"But I did hurt you Will, because of me you are going to lose your
relationship with your parents..."
"Now you listen here JT. You did nothing to cause my parent's
reactions. I do not blame you. I could never blame you. My parents are
extremely superficial. They were worried about how this would look to have
a gay son walking around town."
"But they're your parents."
"Don't worry about them. We have never been close. You know when
you talk about your folks and I really don't say much. It's because I have
nothing to say. They provided for me financially, but that's about it. I
have never felt even a morsel of the love form them that you have given
me."
"What about your folks."
"Right now, David is telling them, that I am done with them until
their attitudes have changed. I don't need them now. I am 18. I have full
access to my trust fund set up by my grandparents. They have no control
over it now. I need you though."
"I love you Will."
"I know, you chose me over $50,000. Not very many people would do
that for me."
"Not very many people love you like I do"
And we walked back to the dorm, in much of the same manner as when
walked to his parents. In silence and hand in hand
NOTE: Hope this is good. I am not getting many comments anymore. I love
comments. Last chapter I got an email, and so I thought I would make this
statement. QUEBEC People are not total homophobes. Most of the people at my
previous university were from outside Quebec