Pages

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Road blocks are part of life. Two steps forward, three steps back. Sometimes it seems like the detours take you so far out of the way you don’t even recognize the path you were on when you finally get back to it because everything has changed. Even the most perfectly laid plans can be destroyed in an instance. In the blink of an eye…someone dies, a job is lost, a job is found, and everything can change.

I used to scoff at the people that I would encounter when I made my sporadic visits to church. You know the ones. They jump up in front of everyone and give testimony about how the L0rd spoke to them personally. “Look at me! Look at me!“ One person went so far as to say G0d told them to do cartwheels in church. For a long time I was doubtful and cynical. In my opinion they just wanted attention…period. G0d had never wasted His precious time on me…he had bigger fish to fry. That was my opinion then.

One Thanksgiving morning I went to the grocery store to get a newspaper. I managed to fall flat on my face in the parking lot tearing my favorite pants. Unfortunately, from that day on I experienced pain in my leg that became progressively worse. It got to a point where I had moments of paralysis and pain. I spent months running to doctors and therapists finally finding myself with back surgery looming. With pain a constant companion, I buried myself between the covers of my Bible. I withdrew into myself and had a heart to heart with G0d. I put the whole situation into His capable hands praying for the strength to get me through it and be able to take care of my children in the aftermath. If I never walked again, so be it. I just wanted the strength to survive and persevere through whatever I needed to.

It seemed I was destined for back surgery and I fretted about how I was going to handle life alone once my husband went back on the road. When it was time for my pre-op appointment, I returned to the surgeon. After examining me he sat down and took my hand. He looked me straight in the eye and told me I no longer needed surgery with a smile that lit up the whole room. The herniated disk and pinched nerve had miraculously healed themselves. He had no other explanations on how this could have occurred. I cried the whole way home thanking G0d for healing me. It was the first time in my life I really knew G0d was present for me. He has been an obvious presence ever since. Not just a force that took my parents from me, but an almighty presence that watches over me, helps me, and does provide in all ways. Even when writer’s block rears its nasty head, He provides the words and they flow.

Since that time, my faith has grown to overwhelming proportions. Prayers are answered. Lessons are learned. Roadblocks are overcome. Strength is given. I may not have a lot, but I have all I need. Amazingly enough, I get it now. I have faith, and I believe. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

My husband has a 4 wheeler that basically sits and takes up space in the garage. Occasionally he will give my son rides when he is home, but the rest of the time it simply takes up space. It was a toy that he had to have. I wondered where exactly he planned to ride it when he bought it but knew better than to voice my opinion. Sometimes it is just better to keep my big mouth shut no matter how much I am wondering why.

Since you can’t ride ATV’s on the highway, there is no choice but to get a utility trailer to haul it to somewhere you can. We have an old utility trailer which has seen better days and is currently used for everything from a holder of outside toys and junk to a make shift deck by the pool in the summer time. Yes, I have actually set lawn chairs on the old rusty thing and hung it with party lights!! When I made a big fuss about the fact that only he would be riding the 4 wheeler, and I would be alongside the road watching…he suggested I get a “toy” too. The only problem is that when I was much younger I was thrown from a 4 wheeler and that kind of ruined me for getting to adventurous again.

On a past camping trip to a local campground we had rented a golf cart and had a blast riding it everywhere. Not only that, when we visited Put In Bay, Ohio and Kelley’s Island on our honeymoon we had cruised everywhere on the island on a golf cart. So when pressed what kind of toy I wanted, I threw out there the notion of getting a golf cart. To be honest, I never really entertained the notion that we would ever buy one. To my complete surprise, when tax refund time rolled around, my husband went shopping for golf carts and bought me a used model that just happened to have all the bells and whistles. It has become a highlight of our family time together because whenever my husband is home and the weather is decent, we take the kids for a cruise of the neighborhood.

Since the old utility trailer is minus lights, has seen better days, and has become part holder of outdoor toys and make shift deck, it may be a good idea to go shopping for utility trailers in the future. With a new utility trailer, we would be all set to take the 4 wheeler or golf cart to a cool location for a day of fun kicking up mud or cruising the countryside. It is definitely something to think about!! Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Like everyone else, I grew up watching the Wizard of Oz on television eagerly looking forward to every single airing. When it came out on videocassette I made sure to snatch up a copy. It is a movie that’s legend will live on forever freezing Judy Garland in time as the one and only “Dorothy. I have to admit that when I was a little kid there were parts of that movie that really scared the be Je$u$ out of me and held the magical mystical power to leave me mesmerized.

It took me forever to realize that Dorothy actually hit her head and dreamedthis whole little adventure! Even when she woke up at the end with her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry surrounding her bed I didn’t catch on. It blows my mind now to realize just how dense I was. Talk about head up the a$$ syndrome taking its toll. Ahh, innocence!!! Kids today aren’t so easily fooled and have more marbles rolling around upstairs than I ever could have hoped to have at that age.

In my impressionable youth I never once contemplated that the witch was eliminated by Dorothy throwing water on her head. Today it was raining while I waited for the school bus with my son and I got to thinking….that witch must have never had a bath if water was lethal to her. Think how that woman must have reeked!! I mean seriously, her skin was green!! What powerful leverage to convince kids to take a bath!! You don’t wash, your skin will turn green like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz!! There was a reason why everyone started dancing and singing “Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead!!” Not only was she meaner than snot, but she had to reek too. I will have to give her credit, that witchy screechy laugh of hers is stereotypically nails on the chalkboard fabulous.

When I was a little kid I was terrified of the flying monkeys. Do you remember that scene where the witch is in the window looking out and a million monkeys are flying by?? That segment used to freak me out. The monkeys then proceed to swoop down and start tearing the scarecrow to smithereens. Maybe the kids of today wouldn’t be horrified by a scarecrow head laying on the ground screaming with all his straw all around him, but I was!!!

There is one point that really gets me and I just realized it. Glenda, the good witch of the North knew all along that all Dorothy had to do was tap her heels and repeat “There is no place like home” three times and she would be right back to good ole black and white Kansas. I realize that the movie would have been a lot shorter if she would have shared that with the class in the beginning, but how infuriating for Dorothy!! If I would have been Dorothy, I may have had to wipe that simpering smile off her face by kicking her butt clear back to Munchkin Land with my magical ruby slippers, especially after having the $hit scared out of me by the flying monkeys and that smelly old green witch melting before my eyes! Just saying!

The story was written to reveal a moral and highlight what Dorothy had learned from her adventures which is sadly lacking in today’s movies. “The “Wizard of Oz” will always be a timeless example of the progress the production of motion pictures had made in those early years. It was 1939’s technological breakthrough that wowed the world only comparable to the present day effects of “Avatar”! Even though decades have passed, the fanciful timelessness of the story continues to captivate audiences of all ages to this day. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

As a special treat, occasionally I will make a home made Calzone for supper.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Pizza Dough

1 package of yeast

1 Cup warm water

1 TBSP sugar

2 TBSP vegetable oil

1 tsp salt

2 3/4 to 3 1/4 cups flour

Dissolve the yeast in warm water. Stir in sugar, oil, salt, and I cup of flour. Beat ingredients until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes. Place in a greased bowl. Cover and let rise in a warm place until almost double, about 30 minutes.

1 can tomato sauce

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp dried oregano

1 clove garlic, crushed

Mix the above ingredients together to make the sauce. Prepare pizza pan by spraying with non stick spray. Roll dough out into big circle and place on pizza pan.

1 pound hamburger or Italian sausage browned and crumbled

1 onion chopped

pepperoni slices

mushrooms sliced

1 green pepper chopped

mozzarella cheese

Arrange your choice ofpizza toppingson half the circle of dough. When finished, fold dough over to make one large Calzone. Seal the dough by pinching with fingertips.

Beat one egg and brush across the dough. Bake for 25 minutes until golden brown. Slice and serve!

When I was little, I discovered just how hurtful others judgments could be. Kids are cruel, plain and simple. No matter how much a school preaches about a no bully tolerance, a lot of teasing and bullying still goes on. As I have grown older I have found that where people congregate, hate, gossip, and judgment will follow. Maybe that is why I am such a loner and why I stay home and keep to myself. I have never went in for treating others in that fashion no matter how deserving they may be.

My parents brought me up to treat others as I would like to be treated. If there is nothing nice to say about someone, it is better to say nothing at all. I believe the old saying with conviction that what goes around will come around. Is it up to us mere mortals to exact judgment and the ultimate punishment on another?? Somehow, I just can’t bring myself to think so. I was the little girl that was teased constantly. I was to short, had glasses, and because of a small upper palette my front teeth never came in like they were supposed to. I was the only eighth grader with no front teeth. I went through surgeries to correct the problem only to discover that my front teeth were deformed. One day I left school without teeth and returned with a partial plate. Don’t think that didn’t open me up for a whole lot more ridicule. I was a freak, undeserving of friendship, and wide open for torment. There were plenty of people that had no problem stepping up to the plate. After a while, they grew bored with it…and their neglect was almost worse than the constant ridicule.

There was a time in my life when I was filled with so much hatred and anger that it consumed me. I wanted the people who tormented me to pay dearly for the hurtful way they had treated me. I tried to take the matter into my own hands welding my own brand of judgment and censure and in the end the whole mess began to eat me alive and blow up in my face. Finally, while reading my Bible I discovered the all powerful truth that G0d carries the almighty judgment over us all. His judgment is far fairer than mine could ever be as He can see all sides and knows all things. He has more compassion and love for everyone than any person could imagine. Still, he passes judgment in His time, not ours. It is designed to be a wake up call. It is a call for submission to all that is right and good. Evil isn’t tolerated forever, and no one is given more than they can handle. I have learned that everything that happens has a reason. Whether good or bad, we are to take that knowledge and learn from it. It shapes the people we are and become.

Although we all make split judgments about everything from people’s appearances, what's for supper, television shows, and even whether a song sucks a$$ or something is the next best thing to sliced bread, is any one of us really qualified to judge another? When assigned this challenge this week, one bible passage instantly sprang into mind where Je$u$ forgave an adulterous woman. Everyone was out for her blood, ready to stone her. He basically stood up for her and said “Fine, whomever is perfect here and without sins and faults can throw the first stone!” That got their attention, and no one stepped up to the plate.

What about the evil soul who is attacking innocents?? Who is there for them? Do they ever finally get what they deserve? In my opinion, they are already getting it or they wouldn’t be so miserable and so quick to spew their venom on others. Ultimately, the same almighty presence that is there for all of us is also there for them. What goes around comes around, and when it does, I surely don’t want it biting me in the a$$ too. I have been the tormented, and have no desire to be the tormentor. I have even less desire to be the judge. I don’t have to associate with those that choose to act that way and I don’t. I will leave that to someone bigger than I and keep my big mouth shut. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

The girls over at Blogging for Fun have challenged me to write about what I love. Since I make a pretty constant practice of proclaiming my undying love for my husband and kids, I thought I would focus on some other stuff I love instead.

I love music! I love anything with a beat, and anything with a message that stirs my heart. When I was growing up I got into my head that I wanted to learn to play the piano, so I taught myself how to read music to play…well. I used to love and sit and play every single song in a songbook. The harder the piece the better. I also love anything with a beat that rocks or has a message that rocks my soul. I love to sing along at the top of my lungs while bopping to the beat. I also discovered a new passion playing the drums on the game Rock Band for Wii.

I love to crochet!! The harder the stitches, the more challenge, the more fun it is! That was something else I made up my mind I wanted to learn how to do. My mom bought me a book when I was young and I sat down and taught myself. There is nothing better than working on a project while watching a movie on a cold winter evening.

I love movies!!! I love to laugh, so I love comedies. The funnier, the better!! I have a vast collection of movies that continue to grow. If I love it, or it touches me, I have got to have it!!!

I love to read. My favorite series by far is theHarry Potter books by J. K. Rowling. I love the whole magical world of Hogwarts. I love the movies! I love the movie “Gone With the Wind”, the book of the same title, and the sequel. I love anything written by Danielle Steel, Debbie Macomber, and Nora Roberts. I have a whole slew of favorite authors, but those are the top ones that come to mind.

I am a big kid, and I love games. What began as a favorite past time with my mom and dad continues to this day with my own kids. I love to play cards, Lego games, and board games.

I love to cook! I love to make a recipe my own!! I have a collection of favorite recipes that I have perfected . The only downside of this love, is that I hate doing dishes. Got to take the good with the bad with that one.

I love to write. I love to work on my website from the posts to the design to the music that brings it to life. I love the whole creative process.

Although I love my dogs, I have loved catssince birth. I am fascinated with their big long bushy tails and love to entice them into singing a few bars for me. I love their “make me like you!” attitude which is so much like my own.

I am one of those nut jobs that love winter and the beauty of snow. I would rather freeze my a$$ off than roast to death. I love Christmas and the magic of a Christmas snow.

Last but certainly not least, I love to laugh! Just like the old dude in Mary Poppins, I would be dancing on the ceiling if it were possible literally laughing my a$$ off at the tiniest things until tears are streaming down my face and I am literally choking on myself. I love being silly, and it seems I get sillier with age. Mooning is definitely not out of the question. I love to proclaim that I am a few sandwiches short of a picnic or loony as a tune, because that is exactly what I am and proud of it. I tend to live life having more fun than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest just because life is to short not to. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a truckers wife.

Friday, September 23, 2011

I have never been a person that was big on change. Instead of embracing it, I tend to dread it. One of my best friends says the way people perceive change depends on their own attitude on it. I honestly had never thought about it before, but she is absolutely right. Like the leaves that are changing into their festive fall finery before taking the last bow before winter and fluttering to the ground, I have been forced to adjust to some changes.

All my life my fear of change tends to always work me into a real tizzy. This fall, a major life change has left me reeling. For the first time in 11 years, I am not joined at the hip by one or both of my kids. They have both left the nestfor school. Once my youngest gets on the bus , I return to a very quiet, empty, lonely house. Yes, my menagerie of pets are still here, but they quickly find a comfortable spot and fall asleep leaving me very much to my own devices in silence. Silly as it sounds, it took me a couple of days to realize that it was OK if I wanted to play my tunes full blast, or watch that sappy chick flick that my kids snort at without complaint. The first time I actually ventured out of the house without my kids was even more of a shock to the system. Instead of being thrilled with this new found freedom, I find myself sad and depressed.

To make matters even worse, the website that I had put so much blood, sweat, and tears into has been abandoned and left to rot just when it was really beginning to take off. Why? The web host went out of business. Since it was their software program that allowed me to update the site, it seemed only a matter of time before that would no longer be available to me. Before, they kept me busy making money through their in house writing programs creating reviews. While it wasn’t a lot of money, I was getting paid weekly something for my efforts making my little website and all the work I put into it worthwhile. I began writing online for the money…period. It was not something I thought I was capable of doing.

Over time, my purpose for writingchanged. As I realized that writing really didn’t make me a whole lot of money, I began to discover I was writing more for the pleasure. It took me a very long time to get to the place where I developed a soul wrenching need to write, and discovered it to be enjoyable. I was completely amazed to find a whole slew of people that actually wrote and maintained a website for the fun of it. Over time, I joined their ranks. That is why when I was hit with the website crisis, I created a new one at blogger and started over from scratch.

Until further notice, while attempting to ride out the changes that seem to be over running my life at the moment, I will try to keep in mind that the change will do me good. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a truckers wife.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Loyalty is a precious commodity. In my opinion it isn’t given lightly, it is earned. There is no other loyalty quite like what exists in marriage. Sadly few people find that kind either. The sanctity of marriage and it’s longevity seems to be a thing of the past. I happen to be cut from the cloth of the old school beliefs where you meet someone, fall in love, get married, have kids, and then die. To many people can’t find someone who is loyal and prefer to live together and have kids with no commitments from either side.

I witnessed a devotion and loyalty in my father that I have rarely seen elsewhere. He loved my mom with every fiber of his being. I only ever remember seeing my dad cry twice. The first time was the heart wrenching sobs that shook his whole body during her funeral, and the second time was when he sat broken in his wheel chair after a stroke had robbed him of his mobility and begged me that if a time ever came that I had to make the decision to sustain his life to let him go. As tears rolled down his face he explained that he had waited 11 long years to be with my mom. He was tired of waiting. He couldn’t stand facing life in a wheelchair. He couldn’t face life without her anymore. He wanted to be with her. If that meant going on to heaven or being laid to rest beside her in the cemetery, it made little difference. There was never anyone else for him but her.

I am a lot like my dad. When I took the vows, it was forever. That is how I feel about my husband. He is the only one for me. I can never imagine there ever being anyone else but him. When he is gone, I will be alone end of story. I trust him completely, and I am certain he feels the same way about me. When you are in a marriage where one of you is a truck driver and gone more than not, loyalty and trust are important to have. It keeps the marriage strong, and any other difficulties and misunderstandings can be overcome because in the end love does conquer all.

Still being in a marriagewith a truck driver does take its toil simply because there is so much time spent apart. Fortunately, I have never had a reason to worry because my husband is as loyal to me as I am to him. My husband has colleagues that have constant marital problems simply because the wife who is at home can not live without a man. She changes men as often as normal women change underwear, and still her husband returns to her side. I couldn’t survive in a relationship like that. It would be a deal breaker for me. Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page on that note.

In the end, loyalty boils down to one thing: the ability to stick it out and have someone’s back through thick and thin and sick and sin. Until next time, when I give you another glimpse into the life of a truckers wife.