Thriving

Black Moms Gone Viral: Mothers of Infants

This past week, two black mothers are making the rounds on the Internet, for vile reasons.

The first woman was in a fight and embodied so many of the negative stereotypes we are plagued with – a child uncared for, violently brawling in the street, in front of a beauty supply store, no less. There would be nothing beautiful to follow this incident, however. She dropped her three-month-old infant on the ground to fight some other gal (who should also face charges, but she’s not the topic of discussion). This so-called mother then took the baby to the hospital the next day and lied about the baby’s injuries, saying that he fell at home. Sadly the baby succumbed to his injuries.

Short Lesson: Don’t have kids you have no intention of caring for.

The second woman hopped on Facebook to complain about how “ugly” and “funny looking” her infant son was. It wasn’t even an odd passing remark, or a joke, either; it was full on vitriol for her own kid. Interestingly enough, you know what she did take time out to bring attention to? His hair (“he got all this hair though”). Always the hair. Always the goddamn hair. She also complained about her baby daddy but I couldn’t watch anymore. Also, is it just me, or was her burping rather heavy handed?

Short lesson: Don’t have kids if you are too immature to realize how damaging it is to insult your defenseless child’s looks before he can hold his head up on his own and immortalize it forever on the internet. And let’s not pretend those feelings this mother has will suddenly disappear, either, especially as “all this hair” kinks up a little bit…

Can someone explain to me what possesses women to literally fight to the death in the streets, or lambast their defenseless child? I admit my upbringing was fairly privileged, but I do genuinely struggle to understand what is going on in the minds of women who think like this. Anyone care to shed some light on this?

You can’t tell me that women like the baby-dropper in the first video believes “every baby is a blessing” when she basically performed a back alley extremely late term abortion. Are babies still blessings when they fall victim to infanticide by the hands of the person who was supposed to protect them?

You can’t tell me that there are no nonblack mothers who don’t share the same sentiment that their kids are “ugly” or “funny-looking”. But they sure as hell don’t go viral for recording it and uploading it for the entire world to see, nor do they have constant barrages of media messages that portray their versions of motherhood so deeply entrenched in struggle and misery like we do.

Think about it. What comes to mind when you see black moms on television? A common occurrence is the black mother wailing on a news segment about her baby who was taken too soon. Or, she could be expressing gratitude that the back to school drive allowed her to get much needed supplies for her children because she couldn’t afford it herself. Not too long ago black moms made national news because they saw fit wearing pajamas and bonnets to pick up their kids from school. Televised black motherhood in the news is frequently presented as struggle and desperation. We don’t have the greatest media promotion in general, even more so when it comes to mothering, and avoidable incidents like these don’t help.

To my fellow black women, I implore you, no matter who you are romantically involved with – stop having children you don’t want, can’t protect or provide for, or will not love! We all love to say that children are the future but we don’t act like it. One innocent baby didn’t even make it to his future. The surviving child will no doubt have a long road ahead of him dealing with his toxic mother’s influence lingering over him like a shadow which will undoubtedly lead to resentment down the line. Why have children if they will go unloved? Would it not be better to live your best childfree life instead?

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