Successful kids

April 03, 2007

By KAREN SLUNECKA Extension Educator Family Consumer Science Faulk County Parents, communities, schools, churches, and many other groups are interested in promoting children to be successful. We need to first understand what a successful kid is, in order to understand what kids need to be successful. One definition is that a successful young person is an individual who can grow into adulthood with the ability to manage his/her own life. They stay out of trouble, they can get and keep a job, they manage their finances, they get along with other people, and they are content. Kids need the loving support of at least one adult in their lives. Ideally that person is a parent. But other adults can serve that role, too. Teachers, clergy, 4-H leaders, and many other adults are in roles where they can make a big difference in children's lives. The more adults the child has who offer support and encouragement, the better. Children need boundaries. Many kids know the difference between right and wrong. Without adults nearby to set boundaries, provide limits, and guide them through the temptations, they may have a lot of difficulties. Until children are old enough and developmentally ready to manage their own boundaries, we need to protect them from themselves. Kids need to feel competent. By this, we don't mean a sense of haughty conceit, but simply a feeling that they are capable. Some kids can do a lot of things. Others can do fewer. The point is - all kids can do something. In a sense, it is the everyday little things they need to feel competent about. They need the ability to keep their food safe and to make healthy good choices. They need to know how to dress themselves appropriately. They should know how to do things around the house, so that when they are young adults they can manage an apartment or household. Examples include washing the dishes, changing the bedding, cleaning out the sink, and taking out the garbage. Kids who spend hours watching TV or playing video games may not set aside time to gain these everyday skills that all kids need. They need the encouragement of adults to learn skills. Kids need relationship skills. They need to know how to make friends by being a friend. They need to understand how to treat others with respect by being considerate, and by not putting down or hurting other kids and adults. Children need to learn how to treat themselves with respect by taking care of their body, spirit, and mind. They need to know how to be where they are expected to be, so others can trust them. They need to know how to be honest and dependable. Managing conflict so there is not a wall of animosity between themselves and others is also something children need to learn. These needs may seem like a tall order. But every kid in the world has these needs. This month is National Family Month. It is a time to focus on strengthening families and helping children learn from the examples around them. There are many examples, widely available, that are not positive ones. Adults can guide kids towards appropriate examples. This can be done through communication, by setting limits in their whereabouts and their contacts in the world and through media. It is our job. We are the grown-ups. If you would like additional information regarding National Family Month: The Celebration of the American Family, contact your local SD Cooperative Extension Service.