Serving Your Husband is Not Weakness

How do you serve your husband? Truth be told some of you are not serving him. Some of you are serving yourselves and then wondering why your marital bond is so weak.

Germaine and I make a habit of out-serving one another.

What does it mean to out-serve?

Well looking at it from a Biblical standpoint which is the only standpoint that matters on my blog, Jesus came to serve. It was one of His prime purposes — not the only purpose, but one if them.

His goal was to serve God the Father by carrying out His will.

Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬ KJV)

He also served the church by doing things for us that would bring us back into right relationship with God.

My goal as a wife is to be like Christ. Now do I fall short? Of course I do, however serving is my goal, my purpose and my destination.

Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭1-2‬ KJV)

I get a chance to serve God and my husband in my words and actions.

In everyday marriage we get the privilege of choosing how we will love and serve our husbands.

Here are some of the ways that shows up in my marriage.

— when my husband asks me to make him a meal, I try to make it the way he likes it.

— I take into consideration what is visually appealing to him when styling my hair and choosing clothes.

— I make him a priority on my schedule even going as far as taking things off my schedule to accommodate his needs.

Now ladies, if you find these acts of service and love offensive you should stop reading. I mean seriously…

There’s no use in torturing yourself with the idea of putting the needs/wants of your spouse before your own at times.

The thing about serving your husband is its a choice. It’s a choice society has tricked many of us into thinking is a weak choice.

Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭6‬ KJV)

Women both married and unmarried joke about how I do things for Germaine the way he likes it.

The other day a young lady told me that I should make my husbands coffee the way I want. She said he should be glad I’m making it.

She wasn’t nasty about it, just matter of fact.

I explained to her that serving my husband works both ways.

Our marriages should reflect the relationship Christ has with the Church.

He came to protect, provide, guide and redeem the church. The church in turn should honor Him in our words, deeds and actions.

(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭9-10‬ KJV)

My husband is by no means Jesus Christ, but his goal is to be like Christ. He shows that in his actions. Does he fall short at times? Of course he does, but at the end of the day I don’t serve my husband because of what he does right or doesn’t do right. I serve my husband as an outward expression of my love for God.

When I do things for my husband I am not wholly doing it for him. I am primarily doing them for God. God promises us a reward when we do good to others. He promises to bless us with peace, protection, provision and the things of His Kingdom when we honor our husbands.

Colossians 3:23-24King James Version (KJV)

23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

When I first began serving my husband by doing things the way he liked I’d get so frustrated, angry and bitter. I was expecting him to do the same for me. It took him time, but during that time my understanding of Gods word grew. I no longer expected my husband to reciprocate, but began looking to God for my reward.

Your act of service toward your husband may seem unrelated to the peace you’re missing in your life, but it may be the very thing holding it back.

Your acts of service may be keeping you from having the right attitude to generate more revenue from your business or income at work.

These things seem like they are so unrelated, but it’s often our obedience in one area that unlocks rewards in another seemingly unrelated area.

I know I’ve said a lot here, but let me encourage you that God does not lie. He is a rewarder to those who diligently seek Him.

Serving in your marriage equates to saving your marriage. Don’t be afraid to be treated as a doormat.

Jesus was treated as a doormat, bruised for our transgressions, but it was all part of Gods glorious plan.

If your marriage is not perfect and you feel like you’d be coming out on the loosing end by serving your wrong.

It may feel like your losing at first, but God will not be mocked. His promises are true and you are strong enough to have a marriage like no other.

I’m at the point where I don’t care when women joke about how attentive and concerned about my husbands needs. I see cracks in their marriages I don’t want in mine.

I don’t want my husband joking about not wanting to be around me or about how lazy I am. That’s not the kind of marriage God wants for me and it’s not the one He wants for you.

It’s up to you to be the change your marriage needs.

Can you change your husband? According to the Bible, you can encourage change in your husband through your words, deeds and actions.

Be the change you want to see.

If you would like to receive prayer, please leave a comment below and we will pray over it. Also, please share your experiences or comments because we are all women of prayer and can encourage one another.

13 thoughts on “Serving Your Husband is Not Weakness”

I am glad that I find this website, that encourage women about marriage. I am really finding it difficulty to have peace in my marriage. We spent more time arguing than loving each other. From reading what you wrote could help me to be a better wife to my husband. Most time I don’t feel the love, I used to have for him. I am woman who love the Lord with all my heart, I can’t be proficient in serving the Lord, when I am facing this situation in my marriage.

@Yaasah D Harris, my eWorkbook Remove From Me This Venomous Tongue will help you stop arguing with your husband and better communicate. Learning to communicate better in marriage is key to a string marriage. Arguments are the best way to destroy the marriage, and become bitter toward each other. There’s a link to my book in the post. — Saidah

I have strayed away from serving my husband like I used to and until recently I didn’t even realize it. Now he wants to leave and thinks our bond is not repairable. He is a believer but due to a situation he has turned his back on his relationship with God. Please pray for us.

Hi @Ashley, have you watched the movie War Room? If not, I highly suggest it as a resource for healing marriages. I also suggest reading the Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. Begin living for God, asking your husband for forgiveness and praying.

I have truly struggled with this subject as I have been hurt tremendously by my partner is so many ways, and always I have asked for us to separate but my partners reply is that, it is not what God wants. What also happens is, is a cycle of saying we are going to move on but when ever stress arises, past issues get dug up again from the both of us, it seems as though we are trapped in this horrible cycle. My heart hurts, I do my best to serve my partner but I know I’m not doing enough and to be honest right now I don’t care! But I want better in every facet of my life. Please pray for us.

This is a great article! So many relationships are so self serving and focused on what is in it for me, type of attitudes. I whole heartedly agree with you! It works and makes your marriage so much stronger! I love that you used the Kjv bible in your references of God’s word also!

@Cheryl Nail, I’ve only ever used the KJV as my primary Bible and have never regretted the decision. I do compare versions, but found the KJV to challenge me to study the words more in the earlier days when I cam to know Christ. It saddens me when married people are focused so much on what’s in it for them. It’s not the example Christ left us. Serving is a sacrifice of course, but when you do it for the King, the reward outweighs the work.

I am having a hard time serving my husband. My mother has taught u by her actions towards my father, “my way or the highway” or “I am not your mother, if you want it done how your mother does it, then go to your mother”….. So all of these years I have grown up with that….. I am 36 and hard to break those old terrible, selfish ways! When I try to do good for my husband she ridicules me about it, saying he is going to have me under his feet…Please pray that I do become submissive to my husband to please my God. Pray for strength and that my bad influences tie there tongue when it doesnt lift me and marriage up. Thank you & God Bless.

@L. Rivera, My mother in law and some friends would make comments about me submitting to my husband and it bothered me at the time. It sounds like you’ve made up your mind to honor God in your marriage and I am praying for your strength. Your decision is going to impact everyone around you. I’ve been to one to show friends and family what submission looks like when a husband and wife both love God. I pray your decision make a impact on everyone who knows you.

This is a truly good post, I am struggling with honoring and serving my husband. Not because I don’t want to but I truly don’t know how, grew up in a matriarchal family with dominant woman and honoring and serving isn’t what I saw. I try but when he does something it all seems to go out the door. Lord help me!

@Toedwards, if you are truly committed to it you can become the women God wants you to be. This is a hard habit to break especially if it’s what you grew up with. I grew up in the same type of family. I had to prayer and repent everyday and several times a day until one day it became easier. Search the scripture about the subject and memorize every verse you can find. Pray them. Writ them where you can see and them and be patient with yourself as you work to change. God is with you to help you accomplish this.