Category: lifestyle

Fabulous is probably my favourite word. When I was on the cusp of turning 50 I had really mixed feelings – do I duck it and pretend to be 49 for years, or do I embrace it. I decided to go with the latter and to be fabulous at 50 and beyond.

Words are very important to me. I am writing a book about how single words have changed my life, and the word Fabulous would have to be included. This time last year I had a breakdown – a hard-earned one, and I can honestly say that embracing the fabulous has been a huge part of my journey.

I have been through a lot. A broken marriage, depression and numerous health issues which are still ongoing. The one thing I have learned is that the only person you can be is you. And it is your obligation to be the best you that you can be.

My favourite quote is this one from Dr Seuss.

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you.

When we are authentic we are fabulous.

So how do you embrace your Fabulousness.

There are 6 principles of fabulousness that I have figured out.

Positivity

Being positive is another of those skills that you have to practice. Like any form of exercise it can be hard and frustrating at first.

The first time on the treadmill is hard, the second is harder, you feel awful, sore and sweaty, but ultimately you get it and start to feel fantastic. I only started walking (as a form of exercise) in my late forties. The first walk was so short, but after a short while I was clocking up the miles and I felt better.

Positivity is like that. Tap into positivity. Find your self daily affirmations – I am fabulous – and spend time around positive people – both online and off-line.

Inspiration

Inspiration is a wonderful thing. We all aspire to be better than we are and tapping into inspiration stretches us and makes us want to put the effort in to be a better version of ourselves. I find inspiration in my daily life, I also find it online by following people who I admire.

How many ‘friends’ do you have on Facebook? How many people do you follow? Follow people who you admire, and aspire to be like. Read books, listen to the radio and podcasts, put yourself in a place where you are inspired. But remember what you goal is – to be the best version of yourself.

We have a wonderful group on Facebook called Fabulous Woman – I go into the group every day, and sometimes more than once a day and get inspired by ordinary woman who are aspiring to be fabulous.

Motivation

This is another biggie for me. Motivation. Where do you find the motivation to do what you do every day, and then where are you going to find the motivation to do even more?

Motivation is your reason for acting on something. Your reason for getting up and changing things. My motivation is simple – I never want to go back to being a quivering scared woman in a marriage that was hurting me. I want to be the best mom I can to my son and I want people to know that everyone deserves to be happy.

That is a big vision, I know. We also need to break it down and talk about daily motivations. Perhaps you need some incentives on a daily or monthly basis to do nice things for yourself. That sounds funny just saying it but woman generally put everyone first before they do something for themselves. Your motivation is to be the best you that you can be and I promise you this that everyone around you will benefit from you being fabulous.

So set yourself some goals and set up some treats and incentives.

Creativity

I believe that everyone is creative. Some people paint or draw, and others might be creative in the kitchen or through crafts. I have been teaching crafts for many years and I just love the light that comes on when people are being creative.

It is simply fuel for the soul. We spend so much of our lives giving to others but we need to refuel. Eating well, drinking water and exercise are all important but being creative is essential.

You don’t need a lot of money to get started. Simply start in your daily life. Rearrange furniture or ornaments, write in a journal, tap into your creative well.

Add it into your mix and you will become even more fabulous.

Networking

Networking is an essential pillar of fabulousness for me. When you say networking to some people, a switch goes off. They are not in business, don’t have a business card and are not interested in getting up at 6 in the morning for a meet-up where business cards are swapped.

Networking is simple and it has been done since the beginning of time. You know that person that is connected to everyone? You know if you call them they will know someone who can help. She is a supreme networker.

We network in our daily lives every day and through this we create our circle – our network.

The thing to remember about networking is that it is relational not transactional. Networking is not about making a sale or a deal, it is simply about getting to know more people.

I love meeting new people, and simply getting to know them. Conversation is a great way of building relationships.

When you meet someone – tell them about you – not about what you do. Tell them what makes your heart sing.

Talk to people everywhere and build your network – you will be remembered for who you are that real authentic you.

Am I that one on Facebook who wears a crown and always talks about being fabulous, or am I a personal branding specialist? You will probably remember the crown but then at some stage when someone needs a personal branding specialist you might tell them about me.

We can use networking to surround ourselves with positive people who will motivate us, inspire us and spark our creativity too.

Appearance

Now, I know that I like pretty party dresses. I feel great if my hair looks great and I do love make-up. But that is just me.

For many years I didn’t embrace this side of me. I suffered from depression and cried so much that there was little point in make-up. I felt really ugly and fat because I listened to the criticism around me.

One day I made the decision to be fabulous and I need to tell you that I had to fake it for a while. Every day I got up and got dressed. I did my hair and accessorised. I took a make-up lesson and made a commitment to wearing make-up most days.

I feel that this is me – at my best, my most fabulous.

When I was all ‘dolled-up’ I felt better. I felt like the best version of me possible.

I just want to make a point here, that if you feel the best that you can be wearing jeans and a check shirt, that is ok too. What you want to tap into is dressing as you, to feel like the best of version of you.

It is a funny thing because when you tap into your fabulousness, people notice what you are wearing less, they notice how you feel and the energy you are putting out.

Be fabulous online and offline

Facebook is now the largest ‘country’ in the world. Most of us are on Facebook and many of us are on other social media sites such as Pinterest, Twitter and Instagram. It is really important that when you are showing up – as the best you that you can be, you do this online as well as offline. These days the first connection with many people is not in person but online. Grow your network and show your positivity online.

This is an extract from a talk I recently presented at the Festive Ladies Afternoon Tea in Mayo.

Over a period of a month I travelled on 6 different aeroplanes, numerous cars, and changed the bed I was sleeping in eight times.

Yes, I was exhausted, but I was also exhilarated and inspired.

I started off my travelling to Dublin to speak at the Women’s Inspire Event. What a wonderful day meeting so many inspirational women. I wrote a little blog post about it here.

Special stop-over in Dubai

Then it was onwards to Dubai where I have a home from home with my sister and brother-in-law. I love visiting Dubai which always inspires me. This is a city that has been created from a dusty single road 25 years ago to the bustling metropolis of creativity it is today.

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My Morning Ritual includes finding time to be quiet is so important. It is really a bit like food for me – If I don’t have my quiet time I get ratty and crabby a bit like if I am hungry.

Many of you might know me as a bubbly outgoing person, but regardless of personality type I strongly believe that spending time alone, and not necessarily doing anything is like food for the soul.

Some people meditate, some pray and others observe the quiet in daily chores.

I wake up early. I have figured out that I need at least 2 hours from opening my eyes to being functional. Sometimes this means a very early wake-up but it is worth it.

My morning ritual

My first stop is the kettle and then if I am in pain I treat myself to a tablet or two. That first cup of tea is like nectar and sometimes I simply sit awhile warming myself from the inside with the unique taste of tea.

This is my time and I indulge myself by reading and meditating or tapping.

The time when I simply do nothing in the quiet still of the morning is so precious. It is during this time that ideas begin to spark and forgotten memories creep back into my consciousness.

I always have a better day when I meditate or practice EFT (tapping). I don’t always find time, but when I do my focus is clearer and my intentions stronger.

There are three basic essentials to my morning that take place during this period of ‘me time’:

Setting intentions for the day

I have issues with energy and I find that a day can be wasted if I don’t set clear intentions. Sometimes these are as simple as doing a load of washing, resting and writing a blog post. Other times they are a little more complex, but ultimately by setting what I want to do I most often get my little list complete.

Gratitude

I begin and end each day with thoughts of gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for and I find that focussing on this puts me in a positive mindset for the day. Even on a bad day when I am sore and tired, I can still find so much to be grateful for.

Breakfast

I am a true believer in breakfast. My energy levels are highest in the morning and I try to eat a good balanced and probably by most accounts large breakfast. I take my time over breakfast and often treat myself to a favourite TV programme while I eat my way through a three course breakfast. I try to nod to all the food groups and set myself a little tray.

My reckoning is that this is my main meal of the day and I have all day to work it off. A good breakfast sets me up.

Rituals can be defined as a series of actions or type of behaviour regularly and invariably followed by someone. I like my morning ritual, it keeps me both focussed and productive and most importantly keeps me from becoming crabby and moody.

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I love buying gifts, I buy them all year round and then keep them in a very important place – my gift drawer.

It isn’t about the value of the gift for me, but rather about the sentiment, and the person I am buying for. I get so excited when I find something that simply shouts out a name, and I know it is the right gift.

My gift drawer makes me smile. It has some random goodies collected throughout the year. It is lovely to know that when November comes and Christmas countdown begins, I can rummage through my drawer. I always find that I have collected lots of gorgeous goodies specifically for the special people in my life.

Not just for Christmas

Of course a gift drawer is not just for Christmas (although it certainly helps). It is also there for birthdays and those very important gifts – gifts with no reason.

Quite often when I am going to visit someone instead of buying chocolates or wine, I might have a peek in the present drawer. This magical drawer often yields just the right thing to take along and make my host feel special.

I do love giving but I have honestly learnt the best lessons on giving from getting. I think of the feeling I had when a friend arrived with a paper bag full of little gifts all of which show how well she knows me and how much she cares.

Lots of gifts at the ready

When I was a little girl I had a lisp. Legend has it that when I was asked what I wanted for Christmas I replied Biths and Pieces. I still think it is a great idea. I delight in lots of little parcels – all with meaning. Because of this, I rarely buy one large gift but prefer to collect up a little grouping of special things with great memories and thoughts.

I am blessed to have friends and family who think like me, and treat me to special times unwrapping little gifts all carefully thought out.

Home made treasures

I also make a lot of my gifts – upcycling common household items and of course raiding my craft supplies. A personalised gift is a great way of telling someone who you really care. For this reason I have a second drawer with items that fit into this category. This year I am going to be creating some personalised jewellery using mini art works and photographs. I am also determined to try the Sharpie oven bake idea for personalising gifts.

Wrapping and writing

The third drawer down in this magical chest is the wrapping and writing drawer. The place where I keep wrapping paper, tissue, ribbons and cards. And of course tape and scissors (as I am always looking for them!

My mom always takes so much time wrapping gifts. I remember Christmas where each gift was wrapped in tissue and then in matching cellophane and then curly bows pulled with scissors. These are the memories that make me smile!

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Digital mess is different to normal clutter. For the most part it is invisible and takes up very little space in the physical world. I honestly didn’t know I was carrying it all around with me.

So let me tell you how it all started. I joined a group on Facebook called #Dream Life & Biz Creators Group. It is run by the fabulous Patricia Parashakti Lohan. She set up a week-long challenge and anyone who knows me knows that I am competitive so I was hooked. When I started it I wasn’t even sure what it was about!

Patricia is a Feng Shui expert and the challenge was around decluttering. I had already started on a big cleanse a few weeks prior so I felt quite smug.

First the handbag …

The first cleanse was your handbag – well I did mine the day prior so that was ok. And then I remembered my very bad habit of migrating from handbag to handbag with only the essentials and leaving the clutter behind. I cleared five handbags.

I found money and a few other things I had lost on the way and I threw out so much rubbish and it felt great. The biggest benefit of all – I spent some time going down memory lane, looking at receipts, business cards, train tickets and flyers. I let myself remember and contemplate and then I allowed myself to let the mess of scrappy papers go.

Then the emails and texts …

I digress though. The real whammy for me was when we were asked to clear out our emails and messages – day four I think. We carry our phones around with us all the time, our phones carry around much the same as our handbags, just in a digital form.

I started with the messages. Over a thousand messages from an old boyfriend. Why was I holding onto those. Delete!

I deleted junk messages offering me 60% off at a sale that took place years ago. I deleted work messages from a job I left over a year ago. I deleted and did a digital declutter of over 20 000 text messages.

I did take time to enjoy the memory of some of the messages. The message saying that my son had been accepted in his first choice course at university. The first message from my partner. The announcement that a friend had had a baby girl. The mantra was the same, enjoy the memory and then delete and make way for the new.

Facing the mammoth task of the emails was daunting. Gmail doesn’t facilitate mass deleting very easily and when I googled it and tired something as advised I landed up in a bit of pickle with new messages going into the trash.

The only option was to do it slowly. I trawled through emails with my finger on the delete button. It was really cathartic pressing down and watching the past wing its way into the digital dustbin. As I deleted I really did feel more energised and more positive about the future.

I have made some decisions about email, unsubscribed to emails that are no longer relevant and filtered my email into manageable files. I am now finding that a visit to my inbox is a quick pleasurable experience. I see the promotions I want to see, read the updates I enjoy and most of all I am more efficient.

The decluttering journey continues and I am honestly looking forward to it.

Patrica tell us that by letting go of the old we can make way for the new. I have done a lot of that in the last week and there is more to do. The bins (both actual and virtual) have been filled and emptied.

Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to comment if you have undertaken a digital declutter.

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The original couch potato walked not 7km but 10km!

One of my objectives for 2016 was to walk 5km in an official challenge/race. One morning in January, I was browsing Facebook and came across The Heart of Galway Walk on 14 February a 7km walk in aid of Foroige Big Brother, Big Sister Charity.

Before I knew it Paypal was open and I had paid the 20 Euro entry. Now I only had two hurdles in my way – raise 80 Euro in sponsorship and get fit enough to walk 7km. I made it public by writing about it here, and there was no going back.

Thanks to friends and family the money was soon raised and the reality of walking 7km started to sink in.

At school I was the child that always had a sore tummy on sports day. I have terrible eye hand co-ordination and combined with Asthma I always ensured that I didn’t participate in sports. I avoided physical activity at all costs.

Fast forward 30 odd years and I was quite probably the most unfit person you knew. Walking to the shop (a mere 5 minute walk) would have me reaching for the car keys.

Slowly and steadily I have built up my fitness levels, primarily through walking. One foot in front of another and steadily increasing the distance and the pace.

For Christmas I was lucky enough to be given a Fitbit. As a closet techie this really delighted me. I could count the steps, monitor the calorie burning and set myself targets.

Commitment counts

Sunday 14 February 2016 – the day of the 7km walk, I woke up with a migraine! And this is where commitment comes into play. If I had not committed to doing the walk, raised the funds and promised to be there, I would have taken painkillers and turned over in bed for another hour at least. But, I had committed so I got up and got ready for my first ever official walk.

Walking (or running) for a good cause is even better. As I arrived at 56 Central I was greeted by friends and fellow walkers who encouraged me and told me that I could do it. I stood in line for my number and T-shirt and readied myself for the off.

A quick thank you here to friends and family who were there for me. I needed that support so very much.

The race took off with the runners in front and the walkers behind. My first thought was that I would come last. Then I realised I was not competing with anyone else. I was competing with myself. I just needed to do it.

It was a long walk – and turned out to be 10km rather than 7km. It’s a good thing it wasn’t advertised correctly as I never believed I could do it. I won’t lie, the last third was hard. I pushed myself and had my walking companion pointing out that I was 60% of the way there, then 65% and then 70%.

Close to the end I met up with some fellow walkers and we got a second (or was it third or fourth) wind and strided with pride up Shop Street in Galway to the finish line.

Now I had a beautiful medal to go with my T-shirt and race number. I did it!

Giving back

This blog post would not be complete without a mention of the very good cause that we were raising funds for. Project Impact is a new charity initiative put together by Pat Divilly, Gill Carroll and a fabulous team. Project Impact raises money for charity with no expenses so everything raised will go to the charity.

For this event the money goes to Foroige – Big Brother Big Sister. This is an internationally recognised youth mentoring charity where a Big is matched with a Little to support and inspire. The funds raised from this even will go to sending 100 ‘couples’ to a youth adventure centre. In this way not only will the relationships strengthen but the importance of physical activity be emphasised.

I honestly wish I hadn’t waited for middle age to embrace fitness. It is never too late though!

Onward to the next event.

A sincere thank you to everyone who supported me. And thank you for reading.

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Thirteen years ago I moved from Johannesburg, South Africa to Ireland. Not only was it a huge move from continent to continent, but it was also a move from city life to a rural life in beautiful Connemara.

It really doesn’t matter how many people you ask about the experience before it happens, it is still a massive shock to the system.

Ultimately my decision to move was motivated by the rising crime in South Africa. There were a few experiences that really touched my life and I realised that I was living with fear.

I don’t judge the people who have stayed and neither do I judge the people who have left the beautiful country that is my birthplace. The time came and I had to make my choice, and the fact that I had a 7-year old son was a huge part of that.

From South Africa to Ireland

We moved across the world and landed up in Connemara in early February. Connemara is a beautiful place, but it doesn’t really show it’s beauty in February. It was wild, windy and very cold. It rained almost every day. I wasn’t prepared, and my pretty umbrella bought in South Africa turned inside out and blew away the first time I used it.

With the hindsight of 13 years I am glad I made the move. It has been a very turbulent 13 years which has seen me live in Connemara, in Westport, Mayo and now back in Athenry on the east side of Galway.

It has seen me start my own business in the form of a craft shop called An Siopa Buί – The Yellow Shop. Through the shop I was privileged to travel across Ireland and meet some really special people. Circumstances change and I returned to the corporate world and spend two and a half years in Westport (considered to be the best place to live in Ireland.) I am now living in Athenry (made famous by the song The Fields of Athenry) and am moving onto a different phase of my life.

The common thread through my life and the big move has been people. The friends that I have made at every stage – both South Africans in Ireland, South Africans at home and of course my Irish friends.

After 10 years I took Irish Citizenship and am proud to be Irish – although I will always be South African too.

I visit South Africa as often as I can and will always have the song of Africa in my heart. When I am homesick I think of the sound of crickets on a summer night. The evocative smell of sunset after a hot day and the wonderful social culture of bring and braai (a BBQ where everyone brings something along).

I was honoured to take part in a TV series on RTE in 2007 called No Place Like Home. The producers came up with a cool concept of featuring foreigners living in Ireland, and comparing where their lifestyles in Ireland with lifestyles back ‘home’. The title really says it all. There is no place like home, but what I have come to realise is that you can have two homes. I will always have a little part of my soul in Africa, but now I have fallen in love with Ireland too.

The West of Ireland where I have made my home is a truly beautiful place. One day on a drive between Westport and Connemara I stopped to take in the view. The word awesome came to mind.

Truly awesome as you realise that this magnificent scenery is simply there for us to appreciate and admire.

Ireland has been good to me. I have made so many friends, through my crafting, through blogging , through the ICA and through my career. I have been welcomed into so many homes and drunk copious cups of tea as I have learnt the generosity of spirit that the Irish are known for.

My son is now grown-up and has completed a Physics Degree at University in Galway and is now working in his dream job in the United Kingdom. He has made his home here but I will always remind him of his African roots, so he too can have two homes. (Maybe even three since he has moved on)

My information about the legalities and practicalities about moving to Ireland is a little out of date. It is almost 15 years now.

I am delighted to say that there is a whole lot more information out there than there was when I did the move.

There is a wonderful Facebook Group run by South Africans who have made the move and I suggest that you join it and take a deep dive into the files. There is so much information available and the people in the group are so helpful.

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I am going to participate in a 7km walk.

This may not seem a remarkable statement, but coming from the original couch potato it really is!

I grew up not really understanding the value of physical exercise. I suffered from asthma and breathing difficulties and although I realise now these were just excuses. I simply didn’t get exercise.

My hand eye co-ordination wasn’t good so I would regularly be in the group of the last to be picked for games and I think that this contributed to the belief that I wasn’t sporty and therefore not entitled to be fit.

There is a big difference between being sporty and being fit. I have really only discovered how good it feels to be fit in the last 5 years. I bought my first pair of trainers, and took the first steps towards a healthier future.

I have been walking for a while now, and always feel a bit envious when looking at the Facebook posts where people have completed 5km and 10km walks and runs. I promised myself that I would book my first 5km race this year.

I am going to do it – I will be fit enough!

I was sitting up at 7 in the morning last Sunday just wondering what I could do to give my life more direction, what goals I needed to set and I came across a link for a 7km (2km longer than a 5km) walk, right here in the heart of Galway.

Do it! Eeek! I did – I pressed the button and said yes. So this is how I will be spending Valentine’s day this year.

The walk/run (definitely walk in my case) is actually called the Heart of Galway Challenge is part of Project Impact. This initiative is presented in association with Pat Divilly and 56 Central – my favourite restaurant in Galway run by the fabulous Gill Carroll (I interviewed Gill last year).

The walk takes place along Galway’s most scenic route with lots of quirky challenges promised along the way. The money raised will be going to the Big Brother Big Sister charity – a fabulous youth mentoring programme.

I really like the idea behind this walk. 100% of the money raised will go to the charity with the specific aim of sending 100 teenagers and their mentors to an adventure centre.

I honestly wish that I had discovered the joy of fitness earlier in my life. It is never too late though, and I am committed to moving forward with my own fitness journey.

I will be honest in saying that I am a little apprehensive about the walk, but I am determined to do it. Thank you those who have already offered to sponsor me.

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Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I start to get excited, sometimes even before Halloween. Today I took a little time to reflect on why I love Christmas.

Tradition

Every Christmas my son and I build a gingerbread house. We tend to do this on Christmas eve, and I have some really wonderful memories about houses falling down, crazy icing decorations and much laughter. How the house comes together isn’t important, what is important is the special time I share with my son.

We also have a lovely tradition based on the french idea of 13 desserts. Our interpretation is a plate with 13 different goodies – fruits, nuts, and sweets. We replenish this each day both for visitors and for ourselves. The ‘plate’ as it is called in our house is a key tradition also laced with memories, especially when the dog helped himself!

Family and friends and food

Christmas is also about taking time out. Each family has it’s own way of celebrating this holiday. For me it is about family and friends. A simple Christmas dinner with family is always followed in my home with a fabulous tea party spent with friends. There is so much delicious Christmas food to be eaten, that it simply cannot be eaten in one day.

I love Christmas food. The sweet yummy stuff for sure ( I have secretly been eating mince pies since they came into the shops). I also love the more savoury treats from a great roast turkey with fruity stuffing to blue cheese and crackers.

Sharing food with family and friends is just the perfect combination.

Giving Gifts

Gift giving has become synonamous with Christmas. I love buying presents and really enjoy this part of Christmas. I don’t spend a huge amount of money, but really enjoy seeking out special treats for special people. Sitting on my bed on Christmas eve wrapping presents that might be silly but are thoughtful is a big part of Christmas for me.

This year I will be having an African Christmas and spending time with friends and family in South Africa. Hope my Mom will be ok with the Christmas tea party!

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A few days I unpacked a box and found a pile of old school reports. I laughed when I read this one dated from when I was 5 and 20 days. I really haven’t changed much. It has me wondering how much of our personalities are formed so very young. I have also been contemplating how we lose confidence as we get older.

I have typed the whole thing out, for the amusement of my readers (especially those who have known me for many years). I know I still look for validation and still stress out when I lose things. I still don’t like cocoa.

For many years I believed that physical activity and sport were something I could not do. I am glad I am walking now and keeping myself as fit as possible. I still, of course love making things and painting!

My challenge to you is to dig out your old school reports and take time to reflect. (I also had to dig out my nursery graduation photo too.)

Half Yearly Report:

Name: Kerry Manning

Height: 44 and 5/8”

Weight: 47lbs

Feeding: Her appetite s good, she enjoys all fruit. She has milk and cocoa but does not particularly enjoy the latter.

Cloakroom: She is fairly independent and quick during this routine.

Emotional development: Kerry is a happy and cheerful little girl. She does however get very upset if anything goes wrong or if she loses an article of clothing. She is still a little shy and tense when faced with unfamiliar situations.

Social Development:

Relationship with adults: She is friendly and co-operative, who likes to win praise and to gain the attention of staff.

Relationship with children: Kerry enjoys the company of other children. She is less reliant on Frances now and more independent in forming her own social contacts.

Language: She has a slight lisp. She is inclined to speak very quickly which makes her speech rather indistinct. Her vocabulary and she conversed freely.

Play Interest:

Indoor: Kerry enjoys completing the puzzles. She is interested in all the manipulation sense training toys. She likes to draw and colour in.

Outdoor: She plays imaginatively in the Wendy House with a group of children. She enjoys all forms of sand and water play. Kerry is fairly agile and she uses the physical equipment with increasing confidence.

Organised activities: She loves making things and is very proud of the results she achieves. She frequently paints and a certain amount of form and detail is evident.

Rings:

Songs: She enjoys singing and is more willing to take an active part.

Music: When she concentrates, Kerry’s sense of rhythm is fairly good. She participates with enthusiasm.

Stories: Kerry is an attentive listener she has a good memory for detail.

PT: She joins in happily and her muscle co-ordination is fairly.

General: Kerry has made a good adjustment to Nursery School. She needs encouragement to attempt unfamiliar things and is inclined to say ‘I can’t’ before trying.

I really haven’t changed that much to be honest. I have learnt a few lessons from this old school report and writing this blog post.

Thanks for reading, and those who know me well, I would love your feedback.