scribbledbloo

Healing(boundaries):/:I am where I begin/And I am where I end//I’m the adventurer and cartographer/The artist and the song//I’m only as vulnerable and clear as I allow myself to be/to you/to me.///- we take these new seasons and we find new ways to love each other. this is why I see you fitting me and me fitting you so perfectly. imalwaysamazedathowwellweadapttosomanynewchanges.ifeelsoempoweredandsupportedbyyourloveanddevotiontotheunitthatiswe

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MyLove:/:The last few months I’ve felt very broken/Like, oh-my-god-I-missed-my-bus-please-don’t-start-crying kind of broken./Daily tasks have become increasingly more difficult as anxiety becomes my nighttime friend more often.//And this whole time right next to me has been the most beautiful, wonderful, patient, understanding human I’ve ever known./Holding me when I can can barely pick myself back up./And every day my Love shows me patience and kindness and love and desire beyond my wildest dreams of what I thought intimacy could mean./And in my Love’s presence,/My thoughts stop racing. And I/Can breathe.//From the deepest part of who I am, I am thankful for your presence in my life. Thank you for standing by my side all the times I’ve struggled to even get out of bed. I love you and am so grateful I get to live life with you.

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She’s tired/Exhausted, even/Is this how people relate? Is this how people communicate? She thought./She worried she was the only one that felt all these emotions so intensely./She dreamt of times where the fog rolls off, shimmering clarity and warmth //*“Too bone-tired to keep my arms movingTo swim or even grasp after strawsThe undertow drew me down into its coldAnd infinite indigo jaws”//*And then she woke.//I’m tired of feeling tired. I’m tired of everything feeling like it’s moving faster than I can keep up with.

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Healing(frustrate):/:That feel when all your intense emotions have morphed into not anything you may be upset about./And now you worry about whether your intense emotions are even yours. Will they listen at all? Do you even listen to yourself now? Do you even trust yourself anymore?//the loss of power in conflict is deafening///.

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(2y0m0d: E):/:Some time ago I decided to make a choice to change myself. The fears were numerous and hard to manage on days, but I told myself I deserved comfortability as much as anyone else/Today I’m on day 730 of this decision. Every day feels more and more surreal as I look back to the days I took pictures with fear sewn into each stare and a figure scared and turned inward on itself./It was me, or some version thereof...right? Or maybe it’s that it IS me./So this year I took my love and a handful of comforts up into dark green island forests./I cried, laughed, and sang songs for quiet hills and midnight critters./Songs of relief/of joy/Peace.//Hello, my name is Amy. Quite literally my body has aged to 30, but I’m arguably 2 today./2 plus every piece of experience and history my former selves did to stand up for her./So...I’ve aged. And today is special.#transwoman#seattle#trans#birthday#newbirthday

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“It was in a foreign hotel's bathtubI baptized myself in changeAnd one by one I drowned all of the people I had beenI emerged to find the parallels were fewerI was cleansedI looked in the mirror and someone new was there”//Maybe someone calls this place high/Some perhaps low/But I/I’m in the undertow.

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Healing(break):/:And if I stayed/I would have.//So I left because I’m tired of feeling like my world is in a constant state of/collapse/I swear one day I’ll come back/Meek and fearful and humbled/With guilt on my back and my friend on my shoulder./Hoping this time peace decides to stick around/A little longer./This time.