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What Happens Next?

“…The only reason for life or a story is “What Happened Next?” -Jack Kerouac

So, what does happen next? I find myself, 25 years old and without a clue as to where my life is headed.

I know where I’d like it to go but I have no idea how to get there. I have grand dreams of being an archaeologist. Ever since I was a child I was a huge history enthusiast. My interests lie mainly in South America, a land I believe holds some of the world’s most ancient and interesting mysteries. The Amazon river and rainforest, I think, is home of the most unique, dare I say unevolved species in the world. A real-life Eden, untouched by modern man.

So why don’t I do it? I was a straight-A, 4.0, honors everything since preschool(with the exception of napping, I could never fall asleep on command, I’ve had terrible insomnia as long as I can remember.) As I’ve explained in my previous post I had to make a mad-dash out of my hometown to save my sanity. I put myself in a hard spot early on, leaving my parent’s house when I was just 17 years old and still in highschool. Being on your own as a teenager is REALLY fun, I’m not gonna lie, but I may have subsequently screwed up the rest of my life. I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck ever since…well, ever since I got paychecks. Because of this, just to get ahead in life, I find myself working 50+ hours a week. I have no time to grocery shop, shower, or do laundry; when am I supposed to find the time to go to college?!

Even if I had the time I do have issues with the college system itself. I’m sure it works great for kids whose parent’s are willing to support them while they work full time on an education. Those who don’t have any other obligations but to write their term papers and get drunk at the local bar every night. But for me, with the schedule I maintain I’d be able to pull off MAYBE one class a semester. And it for the first few years these wouldn’t even be classes that were remotely relevant to my field of study. And the ones that are you literally have to FIGHT to get into. It’s not fair. I know I’m smarter than 90% of the people in college, no kidding, it’s not that I can’t do it, I just don’t have the means or the time to. I’m willing to read any text, go through any sort of training, I’m even saving my pennies for a volunteer archaeology project in Peru where I can at least get my feet wet in the field and hopefully make some connections. I don’t need to win Nobel Peace Prizes and change the history of the world, but I want to DISCOVER. I want to disappear to foreign countries for months at a time and dig in the dirt and unplug from American society. I want to be a part of something great.

I have a fortune I carry with me:

“You will become successful through innovation and determination”.

Wise cookie. I think It could not be more true. I know what I want, and I know the conventional method to acheive my dream isn’t going to work out unless my life changes in drastic ways that are beyond my realm of reality. I KNOW I can make it happen, it just has to happen my way or not at all.

So, what happens next? I don’t know. I do know that I can’t do the 9-5 thing forever(or in my case 7-7) I’d lose my mind. The thought of going to work and doing the same job everyday is so BLEAK. I’d rather be dead than live a life without adventure and discovery.

I welcome any advice from anyone in the field who thinks they can help me out with the next step.

Wonderful confession. The parallels to my own existence hit me pretty damn hard, darlin’. With a most notable exception — it is probably my own damn fault I am in the “predicament” that I call my life; not solely so, but I certainly screwed up enough. Keep at it, diligence is key. Kerouac’s family crest included the phrase, “Aimer, Travailler, et Souffrir.” Love, Work, and Suffer….which, as I’d like to interpret it: we have to Work and Suffer towards what we Love. Or maybe just suffer work for what we love, haha.