A Ranking of All 118 Sweaters Seen on Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks may open with a nude body wrapped in cellophane, but everyone knows that the show’s real stars are the sweaters. The series is an absolute cavalcade of cozy knitwear, each piece more comfy and creepy looking than the last.

108. A Sweater With the Largest Armpits What do these hold?
Photo: ABC

107. Enormous Sweater Pile for Sneaking Out Madeleine’s trying to blend into the layers of this television series.
Photo: ABC

106. A Creepy Yet Cozy SweaterTwin Peaks is very good at presenting a balance of both good and evil, light and dark, which is perhaps why this s... 106. A Creepy Yet Cozy SweaterTwin Peaks is very good at presenting a balance of both good and evil, light and dark, which is perhaps why this sweater is gray.
Photo: ABC

102. A Long-Ass Sweater On a rando in Horne’s department store.
Photo: ABC

101. A Sweater With a Line of Diamonds They march in circles: endless, bleak, and meaningless loops.
Photo: ABC

100. A Lonely Argyle Sweater Why separate these shapes, if you're going to have them? Oh, because this series is about the impossible chaos of ni... 100. A Lonely Argyle Sweater Why separate these shapes, if you're going to have them? Oh, because this series is about the impossible chaos of nihilistic solitude?
Photo: ABC

85. A Sweater of the Other Sister If you isolate the hoop earrings, this is a cool outfit choice. Photo: ABC

84. A Chunky Navy Knit It's not this sweater's fault, but this is an extremely distressing display of enthusiasm.
Photo: ABC

82 and 83. Tangerine and Brown Dream-Band Knits Great for inexplicably starting a band for five minutes at the end of an episode.
Photo: A...82 and 83. Tangerine and Brown Dream-Band Knits Great for inexplicably starting a band for five minutes at the end of an episode.
Photo: ABC

81. A Twee Thick-Knit Sweater Vest Only part of a sweater, but all of the sweater feelings.
Photo: ABC

80. A Sweater for a Little Sister's Poetry Reading A snowflake for every time she used the thesaurus.
Photo: ABC

79. A Full Dose of Fair Isle Sweater Constantly varied patterns, just like the moral mayhem of this television show.
Photo: ABC

78. A Jewel-Tones-of-Distress Sweater A color for every stage of mourning. Photo: ABC

76. A Collared Auburn Pullover Made just for bed-pouting on an orange throw.
Photo: ABC

75. A Three Peaks Sweater It’s impossible to conceive of a world in which violent monster Leo wears this dorky bulky knit, but I guess he does.&n... 75. A Three Peaks Sweater It’s impossible to conceive of a world in which violent monster Leo wears this dorky bulky knit, but I guess he does.
Photo: ABC

24. A Lawyerly Grandpa Sweater These buttons are just called "grandpa buttons," yes?
Photo: ABC

23. A Phone-Call-Transferring Sweater This is the first sweater we see in Twin Peaks! Lucy is transferring phone calls with aplomb.
Photo:...23. A Phone-Call-Transferring Sweater This is the first sweater we see in Twin Peaks! Lucy is transferring phone calls with aplomb.
Photo: ABC

4. A Shut-the-Mill-Down Sweater Autumn brown and ready to make some mysteriously motivated changes around here.
Photo: ABC

2 and 3. Two Sneaky-Detective Sweaters Off to some secret business.
Photo: ABC

1. A Spooky, Sexy-Forest Cardigan Horrifying branches in the void: the moral void where our souls meet our shadow souls and battle, endlessly for... 1. A Spooky, Sexy-Forest Cardigan Horrifying branches in the void: the moral void where our souls meet our shadow souls and battle, endlessly forever, in the years 1990 and 1991 and then again in 2016.
Photo: ABC