How Much ‘Jackass 3D’ Penis Is Too Much?

You know a Jackass movie is going to have a lot of male nudity. They had it on the old MTV show but they just blurred it out with a mosaic. The movies can show some nudity with the old MPAA rule that a flaccid penis is rated R, but a boner makes it NC-17. Now you’ll see every dimension of the naked penises in Jackass 3D.

“We didn’t think about the rating obviously,” director Jeff Tremaine said. “It’s funny because we don’t deal with the MPAA directly. There’s a middle man at Paramount. So there’s this sort of negotiator between us and the MPAA when it comes time to turn in the final cut. We have to get an R rating but they don’t want to put it in writing what it would take to get it through.”

One segment that went back and forth was Chris Pontius swinging his penis like a baseball bat, hitting a ping pong ball at Bam Margera. “So we’re turning in this long slow motion [shot of] hitting a ping pong ball with his dick. We get the note, ‘They feel like it’s still too much penis.’ All right, let me figure it out. We go back and try to speed it up a little bit. Nahhh. We ended up with the solution of the black bar that just can’t quite keep up with the penis. We’ll find a way to get it on how we want it.”

As the token naked man, Pontius didn’t want to see his schlong hit the cutting room floor. “I was so worried about that because it would be such a shame to throw away a bit because of that,” Pontius said. “I went up to Jeff the first week. I was like, ‘Jeff, I don’t have any problem with being naked but what if we film all this stuff, should we put a little cloth or something over my wiener? What if we film all this stuff and then they say we can’t show your wiener?’ Jeff assured me that it was cool, that things had changed now.”

Directors of artistic male nudity take note. You can always find a way to get your nudity past the MPAA for an R rating. “I’m tenacious and no is not a good answer to give me,” Tremaine said. “I can handle certain things but just a flat no, there’s always a way. We’ll find a way around everything. Especially from the legal end of things, the easiest thing for a big corporation or a lawyer to say is no. They’d rather just cover their asses and just say no and I’m like, ‘Well, why not? Why not?’ You find out the no is just this little piece you’ve got to take out of it. You can show a lot of it so no’s not a good answer for me. We’ll find a way. We’re tenacious about it. It almost inspired me when someone says no. F*** that, we’re going to find a way to get this dick on TV.”

The only penis stunts that got cut from Jackass 3D were cut for creative reasons. You’ll see Pontius with a wood condom and a woodpecker on DVD. “It’ll be in [the] 3.5 [release] because it didn’t beat out some of the other wiener skits,” Pontius said. “He pecked through this balsa wood sheath they had me put my wiener in. He easily got through it. A woodpecker sees wood, he’s like aaaaahhhh. But right through to the pee hole.”