Woman's eating disorder led to book

FACES IN THE CROWD

ARLENE NISSON LASSIN, CHRONICLE CORRESPONDENT

Published
6:30 am CST, Tuesday, November 3, 2009

HER JOURNEY: Melissa Binstock, 21, of Meyerland began writing at age of 15. Melissa found writing about her health issues was therapeutic and won a Gold Key Award by the Alliance for Young Artists and Writers in 2005. less

HER JOURNEY: Melissa Binstock, 21, of Meyerland began writing at age of 15. Melissa found writing about her health issues was therapeutic and won a Gold Key Award by the Alliance for Young Artists and Writers ... more

Photo: George Wong, For The Chronicle

Photo: George Wong, For The Chronicle

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HER JOURNEY: Melissa Binstock, 21, of Meyerland began writing at age of 15. Melissa found writing about her health issues was therapeutic and won a Gold Key Award by the Alliance for Young Artists and Writers in 2005. less

HER JOURNEY: Melissa Binstock, 21, of Meyerland began writing at age of 15. Melissa found writing about her health issues was therapeutic and won a Gold Key Award by the Alliance for Young Artists and Writers ... more

Photo: George Wong, For The Chronicle

Woman's eating disorder led to book

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Melissa Binstock, 21, of Meyerland began writing at the age of 15. Then, journaling for an English class, she found that writing about her health issues was therapeutic. When a teacher submitted her essay on her fight with her eating disorder to a national writing contest in 2005, Binstock won a Gold Key Award from the Alliance for Young Artists and Writers.

It was later that Binstock realized that although she had been writing for herself, she could turn her work into a book and use that to reach out and help others.

On Sept. 25, she published a book through Xlibris, a self-publishing company, titled Nourishment. It traces her journey through emotional and neurological disorders, including a life-threatening case of anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder that had her starving herself.

“The book covers a lot of issues, and it begins when I was 8 years old and feeling out of control due to dyslexia and tics from Tourette syndrome,” Binstock said. “I knew I was different and I was not in control of my mind and body. I was battling many inner demons and my desire to regain control led me into my eating disorder.”

A ‘desperate search' for answers

Binstock explains that she thought her food intake was the one thing she could control, but rather than gaining control, she soon realized the disorder controlled her.

A “desperate search” for therapy that worked for her led Binstock to continue to write about what parts of the treatments and therapy were successful.

In 2004, after returning home from an inpatient program out of state, she pretended to be well, but was fighting the return of her disorder before she even left the treatment center. Another hospitalization followed at Texas Children's Hospital.

Her 200-page book ends on a hopeful note, but it is not a happy ending.

“I am still always fighting with myself, and I am realistic in knowing that I am not cured because it is a continual process of recovery,” Binstock said. “Most of the other books on this topic I read were of being cured or ending in death, but there are no absolutes in my book.”

Out of her struggle, a career goal

Binstock, a junior at the University of St. Thomas, is majoring in psychology and doing research with the goal of becoming a therapist. She hopes to attend Stanford or Harvard universities for graduate school because she said they have the best clinical-psychology research programs.

Learning about science and psychology helped her figure out what was happening to her biologically and contributed toward an understanding of what was happening in her brain. She is currently working with a professor on a research study into the affects of media on girls' body images, and changing negative body images through role-play.

Binstock said cognitive therapy was the most helpful in her battle and has learned to challenge destructive thoughts.

“On the days when my body image is bad, I catch it and change it,” she said. “I turn negative thoughts into positive ones and destructive thoughts into constructive ones.

“ I avoid triggers like articles about diets, because it has always felt safe for me to restrict calories but I can't fall back on that behavior any more.”

As an example, Binstock said she now thinks of calories as a positive thing that provides nourishment, rather than something negative.