Option back dating

Yes, randoms who think it’s OK to talk to you when you’re clearly deep into tweeting something about your coffee can be really annoying, but sometimes when you give strangers the opportunity to talk to you, they can actually be cool.

(But you’ve seen hundreds of rom-coms, so you know that.)Of course, you need to be safe and should never feel harassed— but sometimes, rape culture has made us believe we're always in danger, when in reality, we might actually sometimes enjoy the thrill of talking to a stranger.

Find your favorite cafe, bar, bookstore, restaurant, or place to listen to live music and see how it feels to become a regular.

Two big things happen when you’re alone: You’ll find that you’re more likely to talk to people and people are more likely to talk to you.

Expanding our social circle, or at the very least, keeping it intact, is very important when you're trying to meet someone.

Consider trying not to look at your phone all night, and see what happens.

Every person I’ve ever dated, including the man I married, I met in real life. Even if you know, for a fact, that you will never date any of your coworkers (which is probably a good thing), you never know who they might ask, from outside the office, to tag along. I don’t mean inviting yourself to whatever events aren’t “public,” but if you see that one of your Facebook friends is going to an art exhibit opening or a reading at the local bookstore, RSVP and go.

Whether it was a bar, work (yes, bad idea, I know), or at one of the many media events that I used to frequent back in my social days (I’m exhausted just thinking about it! It's a great way to find out what's going on and to get slightly outside your comfort zone, without having to show up somewhere completely alone. Getting up and going out, especially this time of year, seems like cruel and unusual punishment, but if you’re going to meet someone IRL, you have to venture out into the real world.

The next Lock and Key party takes place Sunday, May 26 from to 3pm at the Santa Barbara Polo & Racquet Club and also launches Darsonvals Meet the Matchmaker series that will be held monthly, when the expert will be on hand to answer questions about dating in Santa Barbara and to connect singles during polo matches.