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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

So many of our
Shepherds College family and friends were praying for Cathy Harvey, our
Administrative Assistant, and her family after her daughter was killed last
month. Here is her story of gratitude, faith and healing in the aftermath.

Last month on May 15th, thanks to the
Shepherds College blog editor, I penned “The Office:Ready or Not.”That blog told of a
personal tragedy that appeared on our doorstep May 2nd when a
coroner and a deputy sheriff arrived at our home to say our 34-year-old daughter
and single mom of two had been hit by a car and killed that afternoon.It ended with a note that I hoped the editor
would allow me one more personal piece, “A Thousand Tears of Love,” to share the many beautiful ways
people expressed their love and concern to us through this valley. This is that
record.

The day after we were told Anna died, I had one simple fleeting thought as far
as what would encourage my heart at that time. It crossed my mind ever so
briefly, just a blip on the screen that lasted a split second.Three words my heart whispered to God,
"I want cards." It sounded selfish to me to think it in the
form of “I want…”, as I try to teach our granddaughters to say, “May I please
have…?” but my mind was a swirl of questions and all that formulated in the
confusion of what to do next were those three words.They popped up to the surface, like bubbles
from someone drowning underwater reaching for help in one final gasp for
breath, “I … want … cards …” What my heart meant was a request to my Heavenly
Father, “for all the hundreds of cards I have made for others, it would be a
blessing to receive some cards back at this time. . . is that possible?”

And so He did.Cards filled our mailbox, a thousand cards, or so it felt. I have
a small mountain of them piled 9 inches high (I measured) in a basket and
overflowing the edges. I read every single one of them with care:first scanning the front and peeking inside
to see who sent it, turning it over to study the back details - what company
produced it (Hallmark wins), where the paper came from, the bar code, the price
(oh my goodness, they spent THAT MUCH on a card!); then to the inside: the
message, the handwritten notes, the names.I studied the design and the size, the envelope, the
stamp--everything. The entire card and everything about it ministered to
me. After I finished looking at it and studying it, I read the whole
thing again. And if that weren't enough—which it was—as God would be God,
He added more! Check after check of gift money dropped out of the cards
as we opened them to help us through all the expenses now and in the future for
the girls and their college fund. It was so like God, and so overwhelmingly
sweet of so many people. Even strangers who saw the accident or read of
it, contributed and wrote the most touching notes on the Memorial website,
GiveForward.

If you are one of the hundreds who sent a card or an anonymous donor on the
GiveForward web site—THANK YOU!Your
choice of words, and if it was electronic, the soothing gentle music you chose
to go with it, has been part of our healing, especially mine, for the avenue of
cards is certainly a large part of my life as an artist. Oftentimes, I hit
“repeat” and play the music over and over from the online cards.

Now, as modern day “Infomercials” announce, “But WAIT, THAT’s NOT ALL!” Oh no,
God was not content to fill my heart with a basket of cards, love poured in and
washed over us and the girls in the form of gifts also. Like rays of sunshine
streaming out from behind the clouds in dazzling splendor, gifts poured in of
such extraordinary thought and generosity, especially to the girls, that it
brought tears to our eyes as the gifts lifted their spirits.I am sure the gifts accomplished all and more
than the givers intended.It was
tangible love reaching out to us and saying, “We love you, we are so sorry at
what has happened, we are thinking of you, and we want to help.” Again we say,
“THANK YOU!” Here are just three examples of how people demonstrated their love
and hugs as they cried with us, not to mention all the beautiful fresh flower
arrangements which filled the house with color and perfume for a full two weeks
or more after the funeral.

A tree! Yes, a magnolia tree with its sturdy,
waxy, forest green leaves and hint of blooms, arrived in a box at our door,
shipped from Florida! How cool is that? It was about two feet tall, potted, and
now soaks up the sun on our front porch until we decide where to plant it.

Back stage passes to meet the Chicago Sky
women’s professional basketball team—and more!After church on Sunday, June 9th, we hustled out to Allstate Arena in Rosemont,
Illinois for a Girl Scout health fair event.It was four hours of fun and healthy interactive stations for the girls,
including basketball tips and practice on the Chicago Sky court with the team’s
helpers.It culminated afterwards in
watching a WNBA pro game of Chicago vs. San Antonia, Texas.It was, quite frankly, the most fun
I’ve ever had and here is why.

First of
all, Stephen and I felt like we were on our honeymoon as we sat in the stands
relaxing while both girls moved around stadium rooms for the health fair.We had no agenda, no To-Do list, nothing but
us and time to enjoy and unwind.We
joined the girls for the self-defense course, but primarily used the time to be
together in the stadium (which was so very clean) and connect as we watched
media enter and behind-the-scenes personnel prepare the court and backboards
for the game. We were treated like royalty by the team’s community
service representative (thank you, Erika!), and it was SO MUCH fun! The girls
were made “co-captains” for the game, for which they received special t-shirts
and mini basketballs which the team signed for them afterwards. They were
led out to center court at the start of the game where a couple of members from
the Chicago and Texas teams autographed the balls for them. After being
floor side for awhile, they were escorted back to the stand where we all enjoyed
dinner in while watching the game.The
Chicago Sky band, local dance troupes, and amazing gymnasts who trampolined and
flipped head over heels to dunk the ball were part of the quarter time
entertainment. We cheered and clapped and used our OUTDOORVOICES to “Make Some Noise” in support of the
team.It was the best stress buster
ever!!

Ten
minutes before the game ended, we put on VIP passes and were escorted to ring
side tables.After the game ended, which
they won with two nail-biting seconds in overtime to go, we were led to the
team locker room amidst reporters where the players loved on the girls and made
them feel so special. The players were wrapped in bulky ice packs for
injuries, but spent lots of one-on-one time with both girls, teasing them and
making them smile and giggle.It was a
Kodak moment for Stephen and me as we stood in the background and watched this
touching scene unfold.Kyara, our
10-year old, was proud of the fact that she was only six inches shorter than
the shortest player, but their two tallest players were 6 foot-6 inches
tall!Shoshana, seven years old, looked
so tiny when they picked her up.I had
to step out of the room for a few minutes to compose myself as it was more love
and care than my heart could hold - tears are rolling down my face even as I
type of this memory. The team had signed cards for both girls with loving
notes. Erika took our picture with the team using my cell phone. Even the drive
home was a bed of relaxation. Since we left so much later than everyone else,
there was barely any traffic—in Chicago, on the interstate!I took the wheel so Stephen could sleep (he
had night shift to tend to). He reclined his seat and we put on one of his favorite
praise and worship CDs, turned on the air conditioning, set the car to cruise
control, and sailed home on what seemed like a heavenly highway. It was a
perfect day. Shoshana said the only bad thing about it was when one of the
players picked her up, her leg was resting on the ice pack wrapped around the
player’s thigh, and it was COLD!

“But
WAIT—THERE’S MORE!”Erika called the
next day and left a message that she had more exciting news. We could not
imagine what more could be added to this spectacular event.When I called her back, Erika explained that
the players were so drawn to the girls and so touched by their situation,
several of them who had also lost parents when they were little decided they
would also like to take the girls shopping!Someone had done that for them after their parent had passed away, and
it had cheered them up. That date is not yet set, but I’m sure the girls
will LOVE IT.The girls have tickets for
an August game with their dad, and they will be designated ball girls for
that!I never followed basketball
before, but I am a Chicago Sky fan now. Who would have thought God could use a
basketball team to help heal a family? Isn’t He incredible?!

One more amazing gift of love--

June 12th, Mother’s Day morning, we
had an experience we shall not forget. It was ten days since Anna had passed
away and only four days after the funeral. Stephen had awakened first, and when
I scuffled into the kitchen he told me to look out the front door. What I saw
was more than a gift. We were so grateful and so deeply touched that both
Stephen and I got tears in our eyes when we saw such a generous tribute of pure
love poured out on our front porch. We wanted the surprise to unfold for
Shoshana like it had for us, so we did not say anything when she woke up.(Kyara was at a sleepover getting her hair
done the previous night, so she saw it all after church that day).

When
Shoshana woke up, she was a bit sad and tired and curled up in her Poppa's lap
on the stairs leading down toward our front door.We mentioned what a beautiful morning it was
and suggested she open the front door to let some sunshine in. She shook
her head no.She was too sad and sleepy
to unwrap herself from her Poppa’s lap, so I slipped past them and opened the
front door.Oh, I wish you could have
seen her face light up as she caught sight of blue mylar balloons shaped like
daisies bobbing in the morning breeze!It cheered her heart immediately and she scrambled out of her Poppa’s
lap to take it all in.The photos I took
do not capture the effect of sunlight streaming in inch-by-inch as the door
opened revealing a front porch full of balloons and baskets of gifts and
toys.

It was like that Shirley Temple movie, where she is banished to the attic of
the orphanage.She and her poor roommate
waken to find someone had transformed the cold, dreary attic into a warm and
palatial banquet room for them, and they thought they must be dreaming!That is what it felt like for us.Shoshie thought it was pretty cool that she
could hardly squeeze out the front door because it was blocked by gifts!
Steve went through the garage and around to the front door so he could shift
the baskets enough for Shoshie to push her way out. She looked adorable in
satiny polka-dot pj's standing barefooted taking it all in.

We could not believe the perfect choices for the girls and wondered who thought
of it all and who had made the purchases--such a labor of love! There
were baskets and cloth bins filled with coloring books, crafts, journals,
jewelry boxes, science projects, markers, soft teddy bears, and everything
little girls love.

A BLUE orchid nestled
in the middle of the baskets was absolutely S T U N N I N G. I had never seen a
blue one and am carefully tending to it in a good filtered sunny spot on our dining
table.

It just made us speechless really. Who orchestrated it all? What
time did they leave it on the porch? We wondered in awe.It cheers my heart remembering how Shoshie's
sadness melted into a smile that morning and the way her face lit up. It
was another Kodak moment we'll hold in our hearts, so we thank everyonewho contributed so generously to make that
happen.

We went on to have a happy and lovely Mother’s Day, and it was in part because
of the magical way it started when we opened the front door.

I hope you get a sense of the enormous way in which we have been
loved and encouraged.These are only a few examples of God’s miraculous
stories that have touched our lives.

Looking back at other difficult situations we have come through in the past 37
years, some even more difficult than all this, we see how God worked everything
out.Based on our history with God, and
on God Himself, we know He will do the same again, and again, and again, as
many times as we need it in this life.

What lovely cards, so gentle, tender, and calming. Thank you for choosing
them. They touched my heart and helped dispel some of the sadness I had
been walking around in. Thank you for your prayers. We feel encouraged
and can see the light at the end of the tunnel, assured the Lord is most
certainly going to watch over the girls no matter where they are. We are
at peace, and even happy, for Anna. She had such a difficult life trying
to fit in and make ends meet to support her girls, but not anymore. Now
she is full blown happy, accepted, and rejoicing, basking in the full breadth
and depth of God's love for her--we are happy for her! We met with the
driver who hit Anna and his parents.He
wrote such a humble and compassionate apology to the girls and to us.We accepted his apology and forgave him,
hoping he can go on and forgive himself.It was a meeting saturated with the grace and love of God.Our healing is finding closure on many
levels.

Thank you for all you have done which
has touched us, and which will continue to heal us with such loving
kindness. The love of God from friends, family, and strangers has surely
kept us going. We've been able to move forward on wings of others' love
and prayers until we are again strong enough to muster our own strength to keep
on. We're getting there. . .A
summer of simple routines, much solitude, and tending thank you notes—as well
as some fun with the girls—are creating the respite we need.The thousand tears of love shed, cards sent,
prayers spoken, money raised, and gifts offered have been our manna keeping us
alive and moving forward in a sad and difficult time.Please know that you have helped us in eternal ways and we cannot thank you enough.
. .

Our spirits have been lifted and we are able to press on because of the
strength God’s Word offers in quiet moments . . . and because of you.Please accept this note as our personal thank you to you.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A big part of our philosophy of Appropriate Independence,
and a big part of our teaching at Shepherds College, is training the students
to serve others with their gifts and abilities.

There is no better way to teach this lesson than by example.

Last Wednesday, our faculty and staff walked their talk by
volunteering to care for the residents of Shepherds Ministries so the Living
Skills Instructors (LSIs) could have the night off to enjoy an Appreciation
Banquet in their honor.

The LSIs are the staff who work directly with our residents,
helping them with everything from personal hygiene to medications to
housekeeping. It’s a challenging job with enormous responsibility even for
those who manage the task every day… so why would someone without the
experience want to volunteer for this undertaking? The consensus:

“I wanted to serve the
LSIs so they could have a much-needed night of fun and relaxation.”

College staff worked in several areas of the ministry – Cook
Cottage, Lamb Cottage, Harbor and Catalyst. They were responsible for feeding
the residents, making sure the proper medication was passed out, and evening
activities.

Evening activities varied. Our staff served dinner and
helped clean up. Mr. Canright took several independent Catalyst clients to
Texas Roadhouse. Chef McCarthy prepared a devotional for the men in Harbor. Mr.
Andrus watched tv with the residents since they were concerned about the
weather. Mrs. Kolkman led a Bible study. The ladies in Lamb watched The Waltons
and sang praise songs at the piano with Mrs. Konopasek. Mr. Gaschke watched a
movie and did a Bible study with his group at Cook Cottage. They also had
singing and prayer time.

And then…

Code Black.

Severe weather, with a potential for tornadoes.Oh boy.

Our volunteer LSIs helped all the residents and clients find
protection in basements and bathrooms and stairwells. For half an hour, they
dealt with tension and restlessness. Even though they were in different locations
all over campus, all of the college staff relieved the stress caused by the
incoming storm in a similar way – they sang, they prayed, and they used the
time to get to know the residents better.

Without a doubt, even though each staff member faced trials
during their volunteer time – dietary restrictions, bathroom complications, med
passing, relationship issues and communication troubles – the Code Black was
the biggest challenge of the evening.

Was the experience too much of a challenge? Would they do it
again?

Without hesitation.

“Although we all work
in different departments, all Shepherds employees are really one big team. I
was happy to serve my fellow Shepherds teammates so that they could have a
special and enjoyable evening.”

This opportunity to serve their co-workers gave the college
staff the chance to build relationships with the residents and clients, learn more about Shepherds Ministries, and deepen their respect for the important
work of the LSIs.

“I have a strong
appreciation for what the LSIs do, and I don’t think I could do it,” said
Mr. Andrus. Mrs. Kolkman added, “They are
all truly saints!”

Friday, June 14, 2013

Mrs. Kolkman, the instructor for Personal Development 1, asked
the first year students to do something a little different for their test. She
assigned a Community Engagement Project and told them to interview and blog
about…well, me.

Six groups of students visited my office and interviewed me
over a period of two days. Each student in the group had a role assigned to
them based on their DISC assessment results. Some students were group leaders,
some were interviewers, some were writers, some were encouragers and some were
typists at the end of assignment.

They all impressed me with their professional behavior and
genuine interest in performing the task well. I found myself looking forward to
every group’s visit and the opportunity it presented to learn more about each
student on the team.

Below you’ll see all the groups’ final results.

But before you go on, I would like to say one thing. I tried
really hard to come up with thoughtful answers to the questions. The
interviewer would ask the questions and I would respond – in great length. I
would talk and talk… and talk and talk – I think the word I’m looking for is
babble – and the students would nod respectfully as they listened. I told them
about my love for cooking and fine dining and reading - especially cookbooks -and
inviting people over to dinner parties and
trying my hand at organic vegetable gardening and… and I waited expectantly for
the pencil to start scribbling away.

It wasn’t happening.

Inevitably, the writer would look at me, blink a few times,
then turn to the interviewer or the group leader and ask, “What should I write?”

As I took a deep breath and scrambled through my thoughts
for a quick way to summarize my ramblings, another student would lean over and
whisper, “She likes food… a lot.”

So there you have it.

Now on to the interviews:

Group #1 - This
semester, in Personal Development, we have learned about the six character
traits, the four principles of A.I., and we learned about love while watching
“Fireproof.” For our final we completed a Community Engagement
Project. Our project was to serve Mrs. Griffis by writing a blog about
her work here at Shepherds College.

We were also assigned a character
trait to utilize during our final. Our Character trait was
integrity. The definition of this character trait is “Knowing and doing
what is right all the time.”

This is how we utilized our character trait during our
Community Engagement Project-We did the right thing without arguing or
complaining.

During our interview, we found out some interesting things
about Mrs. Griffis.

Question 1

How do you use integrity?

She makes sure that what she writes
is true.

Question 2

Why did you choose this job?

She was not looking for that job,
God got it for her.

Question 3

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Gardening, cooking and reading
cookbooks.

Question 4

Is this one of your most fun jobs?

Yes, she gets new responsibilities
every day, she gets to meet new people every day, and she gets to post new
‘news’ every day.

*****

Group #2 - This
semester, in Personal Development, we have learned about S.M.A.R.T Goals, A.I,
Strengths, and character traits. For our final we completed a Community
Engagement Project. Our project was to serve Mrs. Griffis by writing a
blog about her work here at Shepherds College.

We were also assigned a character trait to utilize during
our final. Our Character trait was diligence. The definition of
this character trait is “investing my time and energy to complete each task
assigned to me."

This is how we utilized our character trait during our
Community Engagement Project. We all talked about our plans to work on the
interview, and gave people different jobs to do after the interview.

During our interview, we found out some interesting things
about Mrs. Griffis.

How do you diligently work on the blog?

I first make a plan of how I am going to write it, then I
plan a time to write the blog.

How do you do your job diligently?

I keep a schedule of my job on a calendar near my desk.

What are you diligent at?

I am diligent about working at the garden, cleaning my house
and getting my job done every day.

How do you know what to write about people?

I ask questions, then listen when people are answering my
questions and then I see the story in pictures.

*****

Group #3 - This
semester, in Personal Development, we have learned about relationships, love,
strengths, and weaknesses. For our final we completed a Community Engagement
Project. Our project was to serve Mrs. Griffis by writing a blog about
her work here at Shepherds College.

We were also assigned a character trait to utilize during
our final. Our Character trait was respect. The definition of this
character trait is “Recognizing and showing value to God, authority,
others, property and myself.”

This is how we utilized our character trait during our
Community Engagement Project: We worked together without arguing and bickering.
We also had great communication with each other by asking and answering
questions.

During our interview, we found out some interesting things
about Mrs. Griffis. Such as:

What do you like to do for fun?

A lot of stuff: cooking, gardening and other things.

What is your favorite animal?

It has to be a Black Panther.

How often do you write blog posts?

I try to write 3 times a week for Shepherds College and also
for Shepherds Ministries. What kinds of things does she write about? She
writes about students and wishes them happy birthdays / takes pictures a lot.

How do you show respect at work?

I was on the team when they discussed the character traits.
Taking time with my co-workers and God also.

*****

Group #4 - This
semester, in Personal Development, we have learned about: character traits, how
to set a

smart goal, AI, and DISC strengths. For our final we completed a
Community Engagement Project. Our project was to serve Mrs. Griffis by
writing a blog about her work here at Shepherds College.

We were also assigned a character trait to utilize during
our final. Our Character trait was initiative. The definition of
this character trait is ”Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I’m
asked to do it.”

This is how we utilized our character trait during our
Community Engagement Project: We showed initiative by doing our tests
right away before we were asked to do them. Charles took the initiative
by typing. Maika took the initiative to make sure we did everything right in
the correct order. Nikki showed initiative by being a leader.

During our interview, we found out some interesting things
about Mrs. Griffis.

Question 1: What are your interests?

Answer – Mrs. Griffis’ interests are cooking, reading books,
keeping gardens, likes to dine, and likes to visit her son in Green Bay.

Question 2: What is your favorite thing to do in your
job?

Answer – I love the people I serve, I like meeting new
people, and I’m excited to see the other students come back.

Question 3: How do you show initiative in your job?

Answer – I ask people about their jobs to write stories. I
like to help my boss out by helping him with his needs. I like to reach out to
the emotions of people.

Question 4: Where do you like to travel?

Answer – I like to travel out east. I like cooler weather
and rainy weather is fine to travel in.

*****

Group #5 - This
semester, in Personal Development, we have learned about how to handle your
anger, also

keep your personal information’s to yourself, and making better
choices. For our final we completed a Community Engagement Project. Our
project was to serve Mrs. Griffis by writing a blog about her work here at
Shepherds College.

We were also assigned a character trait to utilize during
our final. Our Character trait was Discernment. The definition of
this character trait is “perceiving the difference between right and
wrong.“

This is how we utilized our character trait during our
Community Engagement Project: Making sure that we said the right question
appropriately to Mrs. Griffis. Also, making sure I had the correct information
after I wrote it down.

During our interview, we found out some interesting things about
Mrs. Griffis.

Question 1: What do you do in your spare time outside of
Shepherd’s?

Has a daughter at home to take care of, and go to baseball
games with her husband.

Question 2: How long have you worked here at Shepherd’s?

6 years.

Question 3: Did you ever experience negative comments or
views on your blogging?

No, she had spam, but she had to block it.

Question 4: How do you use discernment when you are
blogging?

Whether something is appropriate to post online, not harming
the college.

*****

Group #6 - This
semester, in Personal Development, we have learned about S.M.A.R.T., Character
Traits, and D.I.S.C. . For our final we completed a Community Engagement
Project. Our project was to serve Mrs. Griffis by writing a blog about
her work here at Shepherds College.