Reflection

Fathers in today’s modern families can be so many things…

“My friends Katie and Scott… are both Silicon Valley entrepreneurs who work full-time. About a year ago, Scott travelled to the East Coast for work. He was starting a late-morning meeting when his phone rang. His team only heard one side of the conversation.

“A sandwich, carrot sticks, a cut-up apple, pretzels, and a cookie,” Scott said. He hung up smiling and explained that his wife was asking what she should put in the kids’ lunch boxes. Everyone laughed. …

There’s an epilogue to their story. Scott went on a trip and discovered that Katie forgot to make the kids’ lunches altogether. She realized her slipup midmorning and solved the problem by having a pizza delivered to the school cafeteria. Their kids were thrilled, but Scott was not. Now when he travels, he packs lunches in advance and leaves notes with specific instructions for his wife…”

“The may be an evolutionary basis for one parent knowing better what to put in a child’s lunch. Women who breast-feed are arguable baby’s first lunch box. But even if mothers are more naturally inclined toward nurturing, fathers can match that skill with knowledge and effort…

We overcome biology with consciousness in other areas. For example, storing large amounts of fat was necessary to survive when food was scarce, so we evolved to crave it and consume it when it’s available. But in this era of plenty, we no longer need large amounts of fuel in reserve, so instead of simply giving in to this inclination, we exercise and limit caloric intake.

We use willpower to combat biology, or at least we try. So even if ‘mother knows best’ is rooted in biology, it need not be written in stone. A willing mother and a willing father are all it requires… As women must be more empowered at work, men must be more empowered at home.”

Today’s parents are so different from my own. In my childhood, women were still claiming they could work all day then come home and take care of everything women were typically required/expected to do. “I can do it all” was the battle cry.

The same with my parents and grandparents. All women in their generation were working full time and then taking care of everything at home. Men were doing a lot too. My dad was doing the washing, shopping, looking after the kids, doing the dishes, fixing everything around the house etc. while having a very demanding full time job.

Great post. As a working father in a family where both parents work, and work hard, I can definitely say that the old notion of segregated duties of “husband” and “wife” no longer apply. My wife and I have evolved into a dynamic duo. We both do everything: laundry, dishes, diaper change, dishwasher, vaccuum etc etc. In fact, I would say that while we definitely no longer have segregation of duties like our parents did, we have realized that there are certain things that she is better at than I am and vice versa. For example, she’s great at organizing and planning. I’m better at execution. So…what do we do? She plans, I execute. The main thing as a husband and as a father that I bring to the table is support. I support my wife and my kid. They support me. Together we kick ass!