I really enjoyed meeting the writers who attended the session. Many of them were in a period of professional transition from magazine or newspaper staff writer to intrepid freelancer. So today, I am reaching out the Writing Matters community to ask for help for newly freelance writers. Could you share your tips for finding freelance writing work with corporate clients? You can read my eight tips here and view my panel presentation. (Just a little warning about my presentation. I got tangled in my own metaphor -- a freelance writer is a whale -- and came up with this advice: "Eat the krill, Befriend the dolphins, Get to know the HR folks at SeaWorld." Please forgive.)

Please share your tips for finding corporate writing work. You can post a comment or e-mail me with suggestions. Thanks!

April 26, 2011

Ever wondered what it would be like to receive a brush-off e-mail from a corporation's animal mascot? Well, wonder no more. Here's the "no thanks" e-mail a friend's son received after he tried out to replace the inappropriate Gilbert Gottfried as the Aflac Duck.

From the desk of The Aflac Duck

Dear Friend,

I want to thank you for taking the time to audition to be my voice. My vocabulary is too limited to find the words to personally tell how much it means to our company to have you participate in this important job search. Most people never give their dreams a chance and I applaud you for giving this job audition such tremendous energy and enthusiasm. Everyone at Aflac is truly amazed and humbled by the outpouring of talented people who want to represent us. The voice search team listened to over 12,500 online and in person auditions and has ultimately narrowed the selection down to 10 finalists.

For me, this e-mail doesn't work. The duck who wrote this e-mail sounds an awful lot like the corporate communications department trying way too hard to extend the brand. There's just no levity, no duck-iness, in lines like "Most people never give their dreams a chance ..." and "Be sure to stay in touch ..." I would have thought the Aflac Duck would have a less suit-and-tie writing voice, especially after watching the commercial in which he plunges his head into a jar of pickled jalapenos or rescues the damsel tied to the train tracks.

How would you feel if you were an actor or a voice artist who'd sent in an audition tape and hoped to land this job? Would you appreciate receiving this staid-sounding e-mail from "the desk of The Aflac Duck"? Let me know or post a comment here.

April 21, 2011

Recently a friend shared her chagrin at discovering that the closure in an email she sent with her resume to a prospective employer contained an obvious typo. The closure!

What would you have advised her to do? Nothing? Apologize for the typing mistake in a second email? Or...?

Here's the answer I sent to Heather.

Hello, Heather -

Thanks for contacting me. My heart goes out to your friend; I have made similar errors, in my resume, no less! (Thankfully, I spelled my own name right, which isn't easy.) Actually, it's a tiny bit less embarrassing, in my opinion, to make a typo ("htat" instead of "that") than an actual misspelling ("recieve"), though either error makes the reader mumble "Ever heard of spell check??"

I've found that people fall into two categories when it comes to others' typos or misspellings. One is the "This error is a blight and an indictment" category. These folks regard a single typo in another's writing as evidence of incompetence or a character flaw. If the prospective employer is in this category, an apology will not make the situation better. The second is the "Everyone makes an occasional mistake" category. These folks would probably be open to a quick, charming apology from your friend.

So, I guess I would advise her to jump in and offer an apology and a corrected cover letter. It would be best if she could call the prospective employer to let him know she's sending an updated version, even if she has to leave a voice mail. That way, she can put a smile into her apology and maybe even turn this error into an advantage. After all, a person who goes to these lengths to remedy a typo is likely to be a tenacious worker!

Have you ever discovered a typo in your cover letter or resume? If so, how did you handle it? (Just curious - did you get the job??) Do you agree with my advice to Heather's friend? Comment here or let me know what you would do.

April 14, 2011

Earlier this year, I delivered a 90-minute webinar for Web Manager University entitled Write Plainly: An Update on Plain Writing Principles and the New Law. During the webinar, I discussed plain writing principles, and Kathryn Catania, PLAIN co-chair, presented information on the Plain Writing Act of 2010.

During the webinar, we covered:

The principles of plain language

How to edit content according to plain language principles

Where to find additional plain language training and resources

How the Plain Writing Act could affect government agencies' operations

If you want to laugh yourself silly, download the transcript (PDF, 40 KB), which documents me saying things like "I think is an idiot for FAQs as part of the culture of the Web" and "Not really, but it do go to play my wish..." Ah, you gotta love digital transcription technology!

April 08, 2011

A couple of days ago, hackers stole data (customers' names and e-mails) from Epsilon, a company that manages e-mail marketing campaigns for some of the nation's biggest retailers. (Read the WSJ article "Breach Brings Scrutiny.") I must be a downstream customer of Epsilon's because within a day of the breach I had received explanation e-mails from Marriott, Target, and Hilton. (Scroll to the bottom to read the three e-mails.) Overall, Marriott's was the least effective. After a close read of these three samples, I've come up with some advice.

Four tips for writing e-mail that explains a security breach ... or other bad news

Write a clear subject line. Target and Hilton used the same subject line: Important message from [Target, Hilton HHonors]. Marriott used Important Notice from Marriott International, Inc. These subject lines are truly inadequate and likely to get lost in my inbox. And they do nothing to offset the torrent of phone calls each company's contact center must have received from nervous customers. Even Explanation of Recent Security Breach would have been a better subject line.

Use a specific greeting. Marriott got this right. But Target addressed me as a valued guest. I have never understood this euphemism for customer. Yes, one treats guests nicely, but one doesn't usually try to sell them things or protect their e-mail addresses. And Hilton's Dear Customer greeting is just blah. It's anonymous.

Explain what the customer should do. Marriott's advice is weak: continue to be on alert. Marriott does nothing to help customers gauge the severity of the breach or to take steps to protect themselves. In contrast, Target and Hilton give bulleted, specific instructions.

Sign the e-mail. When your customers become concerned about their personal data, it's time to bring in the big guns. Marriott blundered again. Their e-mail isn't even "signed" with a person's title, such as Marketing Director or Customer Service Manager. Hilton's and Target's VPs took personal responsibility in their company's e-mails.

On a related topic, Epsilon's news release on the breach -- "Epsilon Notifies Clients of Unauthorized Entry into Email System" -- is pure blunder. The worst thing a company can do when something bad has happened is use language that hides ownership. Plain language is a must. If ever Epsilon should have chosen active voice, this would be the time. But Epsilon's news release is full of the company's hysteria-induced use of passive voice: "On March 30th, an incident was detected where a subset of Epsilon clients' customer data were exposed by an unauthorized entry into Epsilon's email system." Who detected? Who exposed?

********************************************************

Marriott's E-Mail

Dear Marriott Customer,

We were recently notified by Epsilon, a marketing vendor used by Marriott International, Inc. to manage customer emails, that an unauthorized third party gained access to a number of Epsilon's accounts including Marriott's email list.

In all likelihood, this will not impact you. However, we recommend that you continue to be on the alert for spam emails requesting personal or sensitive information. Please understand and be assured that Marriott does not send emails requesting customers to verify personal information.

We take your privacy very seriously. Marriott has a long-standing commitment to protecting the privacy of the personal information that our guests entrust to us. We regret this has taken place and apologize for any inconvenience.

Please visit our FAQ to learn more.

Sincerely,

Marriott International, Inc.

********************************************************

Target's E-Mail

To our valued guests,

Target’s email service provider, Epsilon, recently informed us that their data system was exposed to unauthorized entry. As a result, your email address may have been accessed by an unauthorized party. Epsilon took immediate action to close the vulnerability and notified law enforcement.

While no personally identifiable information, such as names and credit card information, was involved, we felt it was important to let you know that your email may have been compromised. Target would never ask for personal or financial information through email.

Don’t provide sensitive information outside of a secure website. Legitimate companies will not attempt to collect personal information outside a secure website. If you are concerned, contact the organization represented in the email.

Don’t open emails from senders you don’t know.

We sincerely regret that this incident occurred. Target takes information protection very seriously and will continue to work to ensure that all appropriate measures are taken to protect personal information. Please contact Guest.Relations@target.com should you have any additional questions.

Sincerely,

Bonnie GrossVice President, Marketing and Guest Engagement

********************************************************

Hilton's E-Mail

Dear Customer:

We were notified by our database marketing vendor, Epsilon, that we are among a group of companies affected by a data breach. How will this affect you? The company was advised by Epsilon that the files accessed did not include any customer financial information, and Epsilon has stressed that the only information accessed was names and e-mail addresses. The most likely impact, if any, would be receipt of unwanted e-mails. We are not aware at this time of any unsolicited e-mails (spam) that are related, but as a precaution, we want to remind you of a couple of tips that should always be followed:

Do not open e-mails from senders you do not know

Do not share personal information via e-mail

Hilton Worldwide, its brands and loyalty program will never ask you to e-mail personal information such as credit card numbers or social security numbers. You should be cautious of "phishing" e-mails, where the sender tries to trick the recipient into disclosing confidential or personal information. If you receive such a request, it did not come from Hilton Worldwide, its brands or its loyalty program. If you receive this type of request you should not respond to it but rather notify us at fraud_alert@hilton.com.

As always, we greatly value your business and loyalty, and take this matter very seriously. Data privacy is a critical focus for us, and we will continue to work to ensure that all appropriate measures are taken to protect your personal information from unauthorized access.

April 05, 2011

For this post, I am glad to welcome guest blogger Sarah Shepard, Senior Engineering Research Editor for the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC). You may remember Sarah; I blogged about her a few weeks ago. She's the plain language advocate who came up with the best strategy ever for showing her colleagues that DEC's jargon compromises clarity. Sarah tested DEC's jargon on DEC itself. Read the original post here: Editor surveys staff to see whether they understand their own jargon.

I asked Sarah to get in touch when the survey was complete, and here's what she has to say:

"Results from the DEC jargon survey are in and I am surprised. The response was huge. Almost 30% of the 3,000 people in our agency responded. As surveys poured in, I realized people were motivated by more than the desire to win the pizza we’d offered. Why did so many take the survey? On my good days, I think the survey resonated with those who are frustrated with how we communicate with the public. On my not-so-good days, I think some people completed it to protect their own jargon.

They claimed to know lots of termsI was surprised that 80% of DEC knew what brownfield, consent order, and aquifer meant. Really? We'll never know for sure because we didn’t ask people to define the words they claimed to know. Take the term angler days, for example. Within our Plain Language group, some thought it meant the days you could fish for free. Others thought it was the length of the fishing season. Neither is correct, but everyone thought they knew what the term meant, so highly confident responses on the survey have to be viewed with some skepticism.

They admitted to being iffy on some termsIn contrast, the data from the “I’m not familiar with this word” and “I’ve heard it, but I don’t know what it means” categories was clear. Less than half of our staff knows what anadromous means. Ditto for viewshed and down wood. Climate change lingo -- carbon sequestration, low-carbon economy, and green-collar workforce -- was equally unfamiliar. Despite confusion about these terms, the survey showed our staff is in command of much of our jargon, although reluctant to label it as such. “Ruminant is not jargon,” I was told, but a “legitimate scientific term that everyone should know.”

We surveyed the public and they were stumped tooCurious about which terms the public did know, I opened the survey to them. Well, not exactly the true public, but family and friends of DEC staff. As expected, the public was even more unfamiliar with the terms that stumped us. But there were a few surprises. Seventy-one percent of our slice of the public thought they knew what riparian meant. An even higher percentage said they knew the meaning of non-point source and biosolid. Could this be? Even if it’s true, that still means about 30% of those outside DEC don’t understand these words. That’s a lot of people. We need to be careful where we use such words.

If you want more detail about survey results, scroll to the bottom of this post.

Thanks for your interest in DEC's jargon surveyOur jargon is just the tip of our non-plain language iceberg. The heavy lift will be taming the use of wordy, inflated language. We have been known to write shoreline recreation amenity when we mean beach. More (and more carefully designed) surveys are planned, in which we'll test selected words on targeted audiences. I’m happy to share the results of this jargon survey with anyone interested, including those of you who have already contacted me to express your (much appreciated) support. E-mail me. Let's keep in touch!"

Survey participation

Total number of DEC staff who took survey: 894 (out of 3008)

Total number of public who took survey: 413

Survey options

Not familiar = I’m not familiar with this word

Seen/heard = I’ve seen/heard this word but I don’t know what it means

Unsure = I think I know what this means, but I’m not sure

Know = I know the meaning of this word

Least familiar scientific jargon: anadr0mous

Not familiar: 43.8% (DEC); 53.8% (Public)

Seen/heard: 10.5% (DEC); 10.9% (Public)

Least familiar regulatory jargon: attainment area

Not familiar: 25.5% (DEC); 30.5% (Public)

Seen/heard: 14.8% (DEC); 16.2% (Public)

Most familiar jargon: invasive species

Know: 95.4% (DEC); 93.9% (Public)

Largest difference in familiarity between DEC and public: non-point source

March 21, 2011

I love Southwest Airlines: best prices, best schedules, best customer service, hands down. But the e-mail I received from them yesterday (click to enlarge, below) is pure blunder:

It guarantees me a personal response within 10 business days. This is an absurdly long time for a customer to wait for an e-mail from an airline's contact center. In fact, no customer in her right mind will wait 10 days for help with rescheduling a flight, finding lost baggage, or adding a Rapid Rewards number to an existing reservation. That customer is going to call the contact center, so the unreasonable wait time cripples the chance for first contact resolution. And don't get me started on the way the number is written. It shouldn't be "Ten" or "ten." It should be "10."

It tells me not to "reply." The quotation marks are truly weird, as if the desire to reply were ironic, not practical, or an exotic response some customers have to e-mails from companies.

It mentions a mystery link that may help me. When Southwest writes "We have provided a link to information on southwest.com that may help you find answers...," the company sends me on a wild goose chase around its homepage to find the mystery helpful link. Why not put it in the e-mail? And, by the way, the bolded southwest.com in the e-mail was not a link.

March 09, 2011

At last, the economy is picking up a little. After a couple of years of "doing more with less," you may be lucky enough to be hiring. Maybe you've spent all morning digging through piles of cover letters, resumes, and writing samples. It's not easy to figure out whether an applicant has excellent writing skills or even competent ones, and it's painful to discover after you've made an offer that your new employee is a poor writer.

Pose these questions during the interview, and you'll learn all you need to know about an applicant's writing skills, problem-solving strategies, and experience helping colleagues with their writing. And, best of all, you'll avoid "hirer's remorse."

Do you like to write? Why? Liking to write isn't a prerequisite for on-the-job success, but it's one good indicator. The Why? follow-up should give you some indication of whether the answer is sincere.

What are your writing strengths and weaknesses? Of course, you'll want to know what an applicant is or isn't good at, but the best reason to ask this question is to get a sense of how well the applicant can talk about writing, which is an important skill of its own.

How much writing have you done in your previous jobs? (Use a specific measure.) Good writers know how much they produce. "I wrote four 250-word articles for each issue of our monthly newsletter" or "I answered between 20 and 30 e-mails to customers each day" would be good answers to this question.

How do you measure the success of one of your writing projects? This question helps you assess whether the applicant has a results-oriented approach to writing. Does he or she think, as you do, that good writing accomplishes something?

Can you describe three different writing tasks you had on your previous job? Can you arrange them in order of difficulty, listing the easiest one first? There's no right or wrong answer to this question, but it will reveal a lot about the applicant's writing experience.

Can you cite one grammar or punctuation rule you are absolutely certain about? A job interview is stressful enough; you probably don't want to torture the poor applicant with a grammar quiz. But asking a prospective employee to cite one rule, just one, will indicate whether this person is comfortable with the mechanics of writing. It's a fair question, not a tricky one.

Have you mentored or helped anyone else become a better writer? If so, what steps did you take to help? While not a writing skill per se, mentoring other writers does involve the ability to explain what's wrong with a draft document and help the writer make it better. These are important skills for anyone who will be part of a writing team.

When you have problems with your writing, what steps do you take to improve? This question may help you get a sense of whether the applicant will take writing feedback well or—even better—seek it out.

What changes could have been made to the workflow at your last job that would have improved the quality of the documents or content you produced? Applicants who can answer this question well will be real assets to your team because they understand that writing well is a process. Improve the process and the quality of the product will improve too.

OK, maybe asking all nine of these questions would make for a really long interview. Let me knowwhich ones you'll use, or leave a comment here to list the writing-related interview questions you include in interviews.

March 02, 2011

Many thanks to the folks at PlainLanguage.gov who have just updated their Federal Plain Language Guidelines and published them at their site. I'm so excited about this wonderful resource that I'm presenting the entire Table of Contents here so you can easily click through. You can also download the Guidelines (PDF). I hope you'll use these Guidelines to nurture clear writing in your organization or to help you develop a style guide of your own.

February 16, 2011

As a long-time newsletter publisher, I am familiar with the reasons to "thin the herd" of subscribers who aren't reading the newsletter or responding to offers. A clean e-mail list means:

Fewer spam complaints or bounces

Accurate open and click-through rates

The opportunity to focus on subscribers who will convert to sales or take action

But can e-mail list hygiene go too far? Last week, I was told I was costing a newsletter money and asked to either start reading or opt out. Take a look at the e-mail I got from "ABCD Organization" (not the real name...)

Thank you for taking a minute to read this e-mail from the ABCD Organization (ABCD).

You are currently a subscriber to our monthly newsletter, ABCD eNews. If you are an ABCD member or an active reader of our newsletter, this e-mail doesn't apply to you and I thank you for your support.

If you receive ABCD eNews but do not open and read it, I'd like to ask you for a favor. Please use the "Unsubscribe" button at the end of this e-mail to remove yourself from our mailing list. The ABCD is a 503(c)(6) not-for-profit membership organization with limited resources and we have to pay for each issue of ABCD eNews e-mailed each month. If you're not reading what we send you, you'll be doing us a favor by taking this opportunity to unsubscribe by clicking on the "Unsubscribe" button below:

Thank you and please contact me if you have any questions.

John Doe(contact info omitted)

I think ABCD bungled this opportunity to reconnect with eNews subscribers, and the "do us a favor" wording is really off-putting. (Maybe ABCD could find a cheaper way to distribute the newsletter?)

Chambers included this screenshot of the "We're Cleaning Up Our List" e-mail he received from Panic (click to enlarge). It's personal and friendly: "We love e-mailing our customers..." and "... click the sad button..." It invites subscribers to unsubscribe if they're no longer interested in the newsletter content, but it doesn't begrudge them a spot on the mailing list the way ABCD does.

As always, I am interested in your opinion. Post a comment or e-mail me to let me know what you think of ABCD's opt-out e-mail and strategy. If you would be willing to share your e-mail list hygiene methods or your own "We're Cleaning Up Our List" e-mail, that would be great.