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Pros & Cons Of Living Together Before Marriage

Thinking about shacking up with your mate? Moving in together is big decision. Make sure you evaluat

If you’re in a long-term relationship in 2013, you’ve probably thought about shacking up with your mate. If you aren’t yet in a serious relationship, this will definitely be a topic of conversation that comes up–and one that you’ll need to be prepared for. There are certainly both pros and cons to living together before marriage.
In order for you to make an informed decision, we have a list of Dating with Dignity pros and cons of living together before marriage:
PROS
Financial Relief
If you’ve been footing the bill solo for an apartment or house for a while, going splitsies on rent can be pretty amazing. Not only would you be sharing rent, but you’d split also all living costs as well! The days of your own grocery and cable bills will be long gone, and saving up for a down payment on a house or car can seem much more attainable when you have someone to share the financial pressure. This can be especially important if you feel you’ve been spending almost all your days at his house anyway (or vice-versa) and are sick of living out of that special “drawer” he gave you last year.
Living together can be an excellent compatibility testing tool
Cohabitating with a mate before marriage provides a sneak peek into what your life of wedded bliss will look like (or not!). You’ll both be able to observe what the other does in the privacy of his/her own home, learn about each other’s quirks, practice keeping the romance alive while juggling a busy life, and see how well you’re able to get back to compatibility when there are challenges. Cooking together, home maintenance, sharing responsibilities, managing money and sharing bathroom privileges will definitely give you the information you both need to decide whether being together forever is right for you.
CONS
Cosigning a lease is a BIG step
While living with a partner can bring great financial relief, it can also bring tremendous financial strain. What if you make more than your mate? Should you still split everything straight down the middle? What if his credit score is bad? Or yours? And in the event you do break up, who keeps the apartment? Whose name is left on the lease?
Talking about money is a sensitive subject
….amongst friends, family, and especially significant others…so it can cause divisive conversations. When you do decide to make the leap, make sure you have a direct conversation about expectations, budget, values around money, splitting job responsibilities, and how you will balance independent time versus interdependent time together. Assuming you will “work it out when you get to it” is a sure-fire recipe for cohabitation disaster.
Living together can actually reduce quality time spent together
You may think that both getting home from work at the same time will lead to more impromptu date nights and cuddle sessions on the couch, but the opposite often happens. You both come home exhausted and either zombie out to HBO or need “me” time to regenerate. Often, free time is then spent at the gym or with friends you don’t want to put on the back burner as a result of being in a relationship. Or you may start getting irritated by each other because of TOO much time spent together.

1. Change The Way You Think

When it comes to matters of the heart, we're all guilty of making excuses about why we didn't put ourselves out there. But contrary to popular belief, it isn't easier said than done. Laurel's advice?

"Trying" is a pre-emptive excuse for failure or not doing it at all. Do your best. Have zero excuses. If you don’t find success, make a midcourse correction and try a different tact. Keep at it until you do find success."

3. Take A Deep Look At Yourself

3. Take A Deep Look At Yourself

If you can't seem to put your finger on why you've had bad luck in the dating field, take a moment to really look at yourself. This may sound crazy but our choices tend to reflect how we feel about ourselves.

If you wouldn't date yourself, you need to start working on a "you" that you can be proud of!

4. Figure Out What You Really Want

4. Figure Out What You Really Want

If you're really devoted to finding the perfect guy in the new year, knowing what you're looking for can make a huge difference. Laurel mentions that asking yourself these questions will put you on the right track:

What's most important to you?

Where do you stand when it comes to priorities in life? What do you stand for?

5. Get Rid Of Your Baggage & Hangups!

5. Get Rid Of Your Baggage & Hangups!

Hanging onto past relationships definitely won't do your love life any favors. It's time to say goodbye to all of the emotional hangups and baggage (including old flames) that held you back in 2014 so you can look forward to a better 2015.

If the relationship didn't impact your life in a positive way, it's not worth holding onto. And if you have a persistent ex, this 12-step program will help you keep your sanity and move on.

7. Be Confident!

7. Be Confident!

Ladies, confidence is sexy! Seriously, there's nothing better than a girl who knows what she wants and also knows her worth, which is why Laurel says it's imperative that your date knows "there truly are plenty of fish in the sea and you can easily pull another guy just as great or better than he is if need be." This has nothing to do with being arrogant; it's all about being confident in yourself.

When it comes to matters of the heart, we're all guilty of making excuses about why we didn't put ourselves out there. But contrary to popular belief, it isn't easier said than done. Laurel's advice?

"Trying" is a pre-emptive excuse for failure or not doing it at all. Do your best. Have zero excuses. If you don’t find success, make a midcourse correction and try a different tact. Keep at it until you do find success."