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Pining For The Next Apocalypse

Well, it seems that Harold Camping, who predicted Jesus was coming back in 2011 didn't see this coming either. His Christian radio network is apparently closing down as this article from the Daily Freeman describes. It seems that donations to the network have dropped off dramatically now that the Rapture has not come and gone. There have been layoffs and things look grimm for the network of radio and television stations. Some say there may be a reprieve as some employees unconvinced that the end really was coming, didn't spend all the money by May 21 or 2011. So it may, or may not be the end for Camping's Family Radio.

The last few years has been great for apocalypses, with more of them in a shorter time than we've been privy to in quite a while. Harold Camping brought us two apocalypses in less than a year; when he missed one date on May 21, 2011, he explained that the first was the prelude for the real thing which would come five months later around Halloween. It didn't. But it didn't end there. A few months later we had Ronald Weinland who said the End of the World would take place May 27, 2012. That didn't happen either.

Then came the Man Jesus Christ, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, the charismatic leader of "Growing in Grace International", a Christian sect that believed that divine power would execute all of us who weren't part of the group and, by extension, have not been saved, on June 30th, 2012. His apocalypse would have been seriously cool since his followers were supposed to develop super powers so they could fly and walk through walls. The Man Jesus Christ even had a neat countdown clock on the so you could keep an eye on how many seconds you still had to live. Needless to say, that apocalypse didn't happen either.

The lesson, for all you other religious types preaching Armageddon is this . . . make sure the date is close enough that you can keep the believers on a tight enough financial leash, but also far enough and vague enough that you can fudge the numbers so you can keep the gravy train running up to and past that date.

But now we're in an apocalyptic lull.

Speaking for myself, of course, I'm finding it dull waiting for this next apocalypse. The only one I'm aware of is on January 1, 2017, when the "Sword of God Brotherhood" claims that all the sinners (meaning anyone who isn't part of their cult) will perish in good old-fashioned Hell fire. After that, it's 2020, when Jean Dixon (remember her?) predicted old Jesus Christ was going to make his encore appearance. Is there an End of the World I haven't heard about that's due before 2017?

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