[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The barkeep says, "Sorry, we only have plain." [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]

Gold Member

A blind guy with a seeing-eye dog walks into a bar, picks up his dog, and swings it around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" The blind guy says, "Just having a look around."

Gold Member

A duck waddles into a bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No, we haven't got any grapes! This is a bar; we sell drinks! You can either order a drink or get out." So the duck leaves.

The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?"

"Look, it's just like I told you yesterday: we sell drinks, not grapes! If you're not going to order a drink, get out of here!" So the duck leaves again.

The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender yells at him, "For the last fucking time, no, we haven't got any fucking grapes! And if you come in here and ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your fucking beak to the counter! Now get the hell out of my bar!" So the duck leaves again.

The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar, perches on a stool, and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?" The bartender, momentarily nonplussed, says, "Nails? No, we haven't got any nails." "Good," says the duck. "Got any grapes?"