[HotS] 2018 Horoscope

The Nexus is a very chaotic place. Whether it’s a Quick Match with five specialists or a legendary skin from a loot box, you never know what you’ll encounter the next time you log in to play. Or can you? As 2018 greets us with new heroes and events, we decided to force the hand of fate and unravel the mysteries of the stars. This is the Heroes of the Storm Horoscope 2018.

You are always pushing forward. You are the person who calls the shots and makes the hard decisions on your team. This season your leadership and drive will bring you success. Trust your instincts and don’t think twice when deciding who to draft. Your gut feelings will lead you to success if you listen to them. It doesn’t matter if you are first picking Gazlowe or last picking Tyrande as a solo support—believe in yourself and lead your team. They will follow.

You are literally a bull in a china shop. You're drawn to heroes who love being in the middle of the fray like Muradin, Artanis, and Butcher. You're never afraid to get in the other team's face 1v5 and show them who's boss, even if it sometimes backfires. Don’t worry, you’ll get them next time.

Proactive and determined, you’re always looking to make things go your way. While this behavior has led to success, you need to be careful of becoming too stubborn and rushing into things. Next time you first pick Nova, ask yourself: “Is this the best hero in this situation? What does she bring to the team?”

The opposition of Tarsonis and Braxis in the Koprulu Sector means you will taste success and a little bit of fame, but you will need to grind for it. Charge ahead into the new year with a new drive and determination.

ETC is your spirit animal, so make sure to embrace him and play him at least once every week. Other heroes with high affinity for you are Malfurion, Ragnaros and Diablo—or anything that has horns for that matter.

Duality is the name of your game. You have an open mind when it comes to hero picks, but this flexibility will cause you trouble as you try to rank up. Be careful with losing streaks, and when things start going badly, make sure to take a break or play some brawls to cool off.

You love to chat in the drafting lobby and make new friends, but remember that not everyone will share your enthusiasm. If you find yourself jilted by another teammate who doesn't want to talk, don't take it personally. Try to be supportive and friendly anyway.

March 3rd is an important day for you. It will bring with it a Green Argus over the Nexus, and just like the Fire Nation’s powers were boosted by Sozin’s comet, so will you rise above your usual self and win all of your games. Look for other Gemini in your Hero League games and together unleash your might with Cho’Gall.

You love the comfort of good friends in parties, but otherwise, you're fairly obnoxious and divisive. Your mere presence causes your opponents to tilt, and that is unlikely to change in 2018. Whether it's B-stepping after dodging a skillshot or driving your opponents mad by constantly dismounting them, there is no person on earth more annoying to play against.

Don’t forget to equip your sticking-out-her-tongue Sylvanas emoji and use it every time the enemy misses a skillshot. This will increase cause your opponents to tilt and increase your win rate.

Loved by your teammates and hated by your enemies, you enjoy playing fun and engaging heroes such as Genji, Hanzo and Valeera. This year Blizzard will bring even more joy to your life with four new Overwatch heroes that will be right up your alley.

Leo is the brightest of all the zodiac constellations. You always want to be the star of the show and wont let anyone one-up you. In 2018, your leadership will be rewarded with lots of votes on the MVP game screen, but it won’t be easy. You will find it hard to consistently guarantee wins. When your healer fails to heal you or a player on your team is constantly feeding, try to be patient and avoid succumbing to your inner wrath. Lead with intelligence as much as with courage.

You have an affinity toward big playmaking heroes like Illidan, Varian and Kharazim. You’re never afraid to jump into the fray and carry your teammates, even when outnumbered. This year, you will expand your rather shallow hero pool to include more tanky characters so you don’t need to rely on your supports as much.

Always a perfectionist, you are always pushing yourself to be the best player you can be. Your constellation will be visible in the northern skies of Azeroth and boost your win rate with Warcraft heroes; use this as an opportunity to climb the ranks. 2018 will also bring many new Brawls that you’ll enjoy.

Smart, powerful, and methodical heroes better fit your playstyle. Your favorites are cerebral heroes like Alarak, Li-Ming, and The Archlich of Naxxramas, Esteemed Lich Lord of the Plaguelands, Commander of the Dread Necropolis, Master and Founder of the Cult of the Damned, Formerly of the Council of the Six, Creator of the Abomination, Corruptor of the Sunwell, Summoner of Archimonde the Defiler, Betrayer of Humanity, Hearthstone Enthusiast, and Majordomo to the Lich King Himself, Kel’Thuzad.

You never want to play alone. If you're playing, it's always in a party with friends you trust and love. It's just not the same playing by yourself, especially in a game that focuses so much on teamwork.

New year, new league. This year will be very fair and reward your awesome play. You’ll win approximately 50% of your matches, a step up from your current win rate, and you'll finally reach the rank you deserve.

You hate causing conflict in the draft, so you've naturally just relegated yourself to playing support. All of your friends play flashy DPS players, so you're more than content to just sit back and be a healbot for them. Your favorite heroes include Li Li, Rehgar, Lt. Morales, and if the mood is right, the occasional Tyrael.

You can be both ambitious and brutal. You words and actions are powerful, but sometimes they can injure those around you. Blizzard is becoming stricter with reports, so be careful to avoid penalties. Your sign has always acted with wisdom and strength, but this year, you’ll need to show restraint when exercising your ability.

This year you will snag that legendary skin you've always wanted in a common loot box, but the bar will always be moving. After that first skin, you’ll always be chasing the next.

You are drawn to heroes who deal large amounts of damage and melt the enemy team. Heroes like Lunara, Nazeebo, and Gul’dan are your go-tos, and without a doubt, they will bring you results in Hero League this year.

You are both smart and free. Born with an open mind, you’re always looking to learn more about the game. You wander between different sites to see the latest news and constantly switch game modes depending on your current desires.

Unfortunately, this flexibility has a limit. Frustration will strike often this year after several hero reworks and new hero releases. Don’t let this discourage you. You will bounce back with renewed vigor and enthusiasm after short breaks.

You have a wide hero pool, but your favorites are those who provide a challenge. General heroes like Greymane, Hanzo, Kharazim, and Varian all function well under your expert fingertips and allow you to carry while still supporting the draft.

Out of all the signs, you consistently work the hardest. Last season you managed to level up a full league in Hero League after grinding for weeks on end, and those results will continue into next season. Don’t be discouraged if you haven't reached your apex yet. Just keep working and remember that results will come with time.

You'll get in touch with a long forgotten hero this year. You will remember why you fell in love with the playstyle, and you’ll find yourself constantly queuing up as the same hero every game. If you’re lucky, you will become well known for your mastery of that hero.

You prefer heroes that take a lot of practice to master like Samuro, Kel’Thuzad, and The Lost Vikings. Continue working on your play. Using any Cyber Ram or Billie mounts will boost your movement speed by 30% in every game mode.

Aquarius is symbolic of balance, conscience, and vision. You are the person on your team who sees clearly how to execute the plan and constantly works with your teammates to achieve a flawless victory. In the end, you understand that Heroes is all about teamwork, and you’re more than welcome to put yourself second in order to serve the team.

You are a visionary when it comes to predicting the metagame. Stick to your instincts and keep playing that hero everyone else thinks is bad; there’s no doubt that the meta will shift in your favor soon. Be careful not to become too stubborn, though. Just because something should theoretically work on paper doesn’t mean it will gel with your team.

When it comes to heroes, you’re a hipster. You don’t go too far out of your way to be weird, but you just don’t like jumping on the mainstream bandwagon. Fringe heroes with high skill ceilings like Ana, Medivh, and Zeratul appeal to you, and you’re not afraid to pull out Thrall from time to time.

Pisces, always a dreamer and hopelessly romantic. You are calm, sensible and keen. However, this year’s challenges will force you out of your comfort zone, and you’ll play heroes you never thought you’d play. Don't be afraid, just focus on the journey.

You love being creative with your builds, so you’ll be happy with the next hero releases. At least for the first few weeks, they will all have several viable builds and very few must-take talents.

Sadly you’re in for a rough start this year. Hero League and Quick Match will beat you up until you think you can’t go on. Don't worry—just pick Murky. First pick? Murky. Last pick? Murky. No tank? You’re gonna lose, but pick Murky. This is your hero. This is your year. Trust in the murloc and he’ll make you do great. Mrglglglglglglgl!

Scorpio reporting in: I'm pretty mild-mannered and you'll never find me initiating a "brutal" conversation, though I can get defensive if someone is in my face. Other than that, everything else seems pretty accurate so I'm holding you personally responsible if I don't get my favorite legendary skin in a common loot box this year

"You know, I don't care if soO got 100 second places in a row. Anyone who doesn't think that he's going to win blizzcon watching this series is a fool" - Artosis, Blizzcon 2014 soO vs TaeJa

On February 13 2018 08:31 Kitai wrote:Scorpio reporting in: I'm pretty mild-mannered and you'll never find me initiating a "brutal" conversation, though I can get defensive if someone is in my face. Other than that, everything else seems pretty accurate so I'm holding you personally responsible if I don't get my favorite legendary skin in a common loot box this year

Horoscopes are purposely created to be generic and vague Barnum statements, not to be specifically accurate or predictive

This is a fun write-up... For 2019, just take the same horoscopes and label each with a different sign! Work smart, not hard

Thanks I'm glad you liked it! Also glad you noticed the references. For this article we worked on two different versions before deciding on this one. One joke that in hindsight may have worked better in Capricorn was "Thanks to the fact goats represent your sign, using any Cyber Ram or Billie mount will boost your movement speed by 30%. Also, this month all Capricorns will get a new Legendary hero from a loot box, except for you."

TeamLiquid Staff writer since 2014 @Mortal_Phantom

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