Yesterday, I covered the earliest quotes from Jessica Simpson’s Elle Magazine cover interview, and I ended up updating the post with the nude Elle cover. I’m kind of glad that I’ve ended splitting this stuff into two posts, because there’s so much to cover. First, I LOVE the header photo!!!! I know it’s cheesy, I know her dude is a total K-Fed. But I still it’s a beautiful, sweet image. It makes me like Eric a little bit. If you’d like to see the Elle slideshow of Jessica’s photo shoot, go here – Jessica has an alternate, full-clothed cover too, which I’m assuming will be the newsstand version. While everybody loves pregnant celebrities, I’m not sure everybody wants to see Jessica’s shadowy, pregnant biscuit while they’re getting in line at the grocery store checkout (“Oh, I just remembered – I need Funions and beer.”). Here are even more excerpts from Jessica’s interview:

On her hopes for her daughter’s sense of style: “Ah swear, ah will croak if she asks me for a pair of Nikes instead of Christian Louboutins!” she blurts out, her Dallas accent swooping back in this moment of heightened anxiety. “Eric is so athletic. We’re gonna have this ath-a-letic girl and I won’t even be able to take her shopping, ’cause all she’s gonna want is sports bras and Nikes!”

On taking tabloid brutality in stride: “I’m still standin’,” she drawls. “I grew up very strong! You know, my father used to be an adolescent therapist. I remember sitting at his office, watching the girls walkin’ in and out. Kids doin’ coke at 16…heroin. Pregnant at 14. I could see what I didn’t want to be.”

On her body subconsciously telling her she was pregnant: “We were goin’ to have an all-day drinking binge,” Simpson says, not shy about saying so. “Gonna ride our bikes, hang out…do naughty things. But I started feeling this overwhelming guilt. Why would I feel guilt at the idea of going out and having cocktails with my friends?”

On her 10-pound baby: “I was only six pounds,” she notes. “So maybe Eric and I can meet in the middle.”

I get the feeling that Jessica is playing a little fast and loose with the “I quit drinking when I simply felt I might be pregnant” story. Because, obviously, Jessica loves to drink. I’m guessing she was still guzzling Scotch for the first month, before she realized she was pregnant. As for her moaning about perhaps having an athletic girl… dear God. She better hope THAT is her biggest worry. I mean… this little girl is going to be half-Farty, half-Nouveau-K-Fed. That’s going to be a MESS. You know the girl is going to be blonde, gassy, dumb as a box of hair, sweet-natured, and she’s definitely going to have the big-boob gene. *crosses self*

Agreed–for your own private albums, do it up. But as someone who did not contribute to the pregnancy, I have zero interest in seeing your naked baby bump. In fact, I don’t want my friends to show me ANY “look at my bared body” pics, ever. You don’t get a pass just because there’s a baby in it.

Even clothed, it’s kinda like–you’ve seen one bump, you’ve seen them all. I get why it’s special to YOU, but please don’t think everyone else has an interest. Mention you got the pics done, and if people want to see them, they will ask. (hint–most will not ask)

Every single m-list celebrity flings off the clothes, takes the same photo and plasters it all over the city thinking that I should feel honoured to watch the miracle dance. I don’t.

I’m sure she’s (insert whatever good qualities), but I think pregnancy made people forget she’s kind of got the IQ of a lemon. Athlete phobia? Alright ladies, who’s your fertility Messiah, now (thank you, Chief Wiggum)? To observe this doesn’t mean that a person is a hater or jealous or whatever ad hominem nonsense gets thrown around whenever some poster has the temerity to not worship another poster’s idols, it just means that if you had it before, pregnancy doesn’t cure ‘duh’. Jess, you’ve become so much more tolerable lately, but come on with that.

I guess her boyfriend thinks a ‘water birth’ is just sucking the amniotic fluid out of her, at the source.

I have maternity shots scheduled, but I kind of agree with you. One of my “wives” is a photographer and she wants to do them for her portfolio. I’ll let her post them on her website, but I really could do without them. And I’m especially not putting my naked stretch marked covered belly out for the world to see. I’ll keep them around the house, and put one in a frame in her room, but besides that, I’m just kind of meh on the whole thing.

Me too, Samigirl. I had no idea how popular maternity portraits were until my photographer niece asked me to pose for some for her portfolio. I had to do a Google images search to even know what the heck she was asking me to do. LoL So, now I have some lovely pics in an album (in which I’m clothed!) and my niece has some on her website. I have never once felt the need to have nekkid pics of my pregnant self, tho.

OMG I totally agree! I had to give a presentation on gestational diabetes a couple months ago and was looking for some clip art to use in a powerpoint and yeah, those pregnancy pics are just awful! So, so, funny. Also just go over to awkwardfamilyphotos.com. The pregnancy shots always turn out the worst. Those and the engagement announcement pics.

She is better than me, if someone pointed a camera towards me while I was pregnant I would probably have taken it and eaten it. I was a fat butter ball and everyone knew not to point a camera in my direction.

OMG OMG OMG When I read these quotes on D-LISTED I thought they were fake!!!!!! I thought Mickael K had made them up, including the “ah” instead of “I” and the “We were goin’ to have an all-day drinking binge” but apparently these are real. LMAO

If I were her PR people I would be mad about the way this interview was presented.

Sure, this is crap if you are her publicist, but he truth is she talks this way and was on a successful TV show where she essentially made her career out of appearing as a brainless, aw-shucks Texas girl… little hard to be ‘mad’ at Elle for printing what is likely the word for word phonetic version of her voice.

Who cares if your daughter’s an athlete, as long as she’s healthy, happy, and confident?

Not every little girl likes pink and lace and frilly dresses and make-up.

My daughter showed up to her first dance class in fluorescent red tights and a purple leotard and announced to the ENTIRE class (fellow students & parents alike) that “I do NOT like PINK. I will NOT WEAR PINK.” She was 4!

I’ve said it before, I like Jessica and think she is beautiful and entirely harmless. Her quotes read like something she would actually say and I could hear her voice in them. I found it refreshing that she appeared as ‘herself’ in this piece, instead of the polished fake version that we saw when she was a ‘pop-star’ – Just listening to her talk in the promo commercials for Fashion Star, this is the real Jessica.

And this persona is exactly what Britney’s management tried to make her NOT be, when we all know she’s a southern girl too. It’s as much a reason as her mental illness for why I don’t think we will ever see Britney on something like X Factor or American Idol as a judge. She can’t fake it enough.

Well on the bright side, girls get their boobs from their dads side!(Weird but true) These are actually nice pictures considering. I usually get really annoyed when Im forced to see photos of some pregnant ladys naked belly, but these are resonably classy. What really annoys me is all the preggos wearing a bikini at the beach-they do make maternity swim suits ladies! Thank god Jessica hasnt pulled that one yet!

What’s wrong with a girl being a tomboy? I was both a big tomboy AND a dancer. I loved reading this and just grinning and rolling my eyes somewhat. At least you will never have to worry about Jessica trying to be something she’s not.

my daughter only wanted to wear her brothers clothes. no girley dresses for her! I have seen the ridiculous headlines regarding shilo JP & thought let her be. my daughter is in her mid 20′s she has amazing style she isn’t confused about her idenity & I am proud of her & myself that I didn’t force her into frilly lacey