Some time back I could lay my hands on a book
titled-TRANSFORMATION OF THE HEART.After going through its contents I
travelled down my memory lane on a soul searching exercise.! joined the
SSSIHMS in Aug 93 as one of the resident staffs ostensibly with the idea
of qualifying as a Cardiologist, but now when I look back I appreciate
that the benign influence of BHAGAWAN has wrought a dramatic change in my
perceptions and attitudes to many aspects of my life and profession.

The initial couple of years sped by trying to adjust
to the many pecularities of this place. Not a day passed without a
conflict between my mental expectations and the actual happenings.) was on
one hand strug­gling to root out the many negative ten­dencies in myself
which BHAGAWAN of­ten quoted as impediments to the flow of DIVINE GRACE
and spiritual progression the other hand the none too congenial
surroundings were trying to drag me back in to the cesspool of basal
instincts and behaviour.

Why-0-Why-this apparent paradox between spoken words
and performed actions?! used to mentally offer my sup­plications to
BHAGAWAN to clarify these contradictions.

Slowly but surely definitive answers sunk in to my
mind. As long as one identified oneself with the work done, all these
con­tradictions appeared very real and troublesome. With difficulty
when one learnt to accept the fact that all of this is a mere drama
directed by BHAGAWAN with us as actors with specific roles, the
identification complex vanished and with it the conflicts. So like any
drama there were assigned roles for the main hero, the side hero and the
villains. One's iden­tity with the roles existed only as far as the
duration of the drama. This brought about a major upheavel in attitudes
to­wards everything in life.Surrendering one­self and carrying out the
work as His mere instrument brought forth immense peace.

Successes did'nt elate nor failures dissapoint.
BHAGAWAN's message:- "if you cant oblige, at least talk obligingly",
struck a sensitive chord in my heart. 1 ? power of speech endowed by the
Grace of God­dess Saraswathi was now used to charge every patient with
positive vibrations. It was indeed a miracle to see that where medicines
failed, tender, loving, reassuring words did the magic. Once all actions
were surrendered to Him, no work was good or bad. Thus one could approach
things with mental equanimity. With a string of personal reverses and
setbacks I could have ended being a mental wreck. Surprisingly I
discovered that acceptance of all things as HIS WILL erased all unpleasant
memories and reinforced my resolve to see, hear, say and do good to one
and all at any cost.

In hindsight I realised that silently BHAGAWAN was
exerting HIS all power­ful influence to eradicate the ego, so that the
dormant divinity could bloom forth. The rising Sun, the full moon, the dew
drop laden grass, the enchanting flowers, the trees, birds, animals and in
short, all things around me started appearing as veritable manifestations
of His all pervad­ing divinity. With this the propensity to think evil,
speak ill of others and act derogatorily, all have taken a back seat. The
process is not yet complete but I can definitely say that I am overwhelmed
by the marvellous transformation of my heart-all by the Divine Grace and
Bless­ings of BHAGAWAN SRI SATHYA SAI BABA.

I offer my humble prayers to Him to
continue the chiselling so that hopefully one day I will be a fine
sculpture worthy of being designated as His real devotee and disciple-an
ArJuna to Krishna in Kali Yuga.