With Stephen Colbert’s new show set to launch Tuesday evening, Vanity Fair briefly interviewed hosts from other late night shows and asked them to provide the newest entry into the talk show format with some helpful advice.

While most of the advice was tongue-in-cheek, former Daily Show alum Larry Wilmore was the most direct in his comments, advising Colbert: “You’re at 11:30 opposite me, mother*cker. So don’t go too fast, alright?”

Outside of NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, almost every late night host made an appearance, including Daily Show replacement host Trevor Noah, John Oliver, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Myers, Bill Maher, and Conan O’Brien who advised Colbert to invest in real estate instead.

“I would be very rude to the guests and wear a lot of cologne,” Kimmel suggested, to which Colbert replied, “Alright. So don’t change anything.”

Noting that Colbert had played a deliberately obtuse Bill O’Reilly-esque type on his departed Colbert Report, Real Time host Bill Maher suggested, “Do a character, no one wants to see you.”

Fellow Daily Show alum John Oliver stated, “You’re going to be alright. You do you — as irritating 12-year-olds say.”

Colbert replied, “That’s good. Because irritating 12-year-olds is the demographic CBS has asked me to add.”

About the Author

Tom Boggioni is based in the quaint seaside community of Pacific Beach in less quaint San Diego. He writes about politics, media, culture, and other annoyances. Mostly he spends his days at the beach gazing at the horizon waiting for the end of the world, or the sun to go down. Whichever comes first.