Oh, I've gone all faint. (As you knew I would.) A Culpin's pie and Colman's Mustard in the same sexy shot. And the only way to take mustard, mixed from the tin. If anybody out there still uses proper 35mm film, you should be able to get six canisters in an empty tin. Oh, I could go on forever about this, but I've got to polish my Ovaltine spoons.

Best you can get on Queens Rd is a Walkers Pork Pie. I've never had the pleasure of a Culpins, unless it was what Ron served up in your kitchen 15 minutes before the unforgetable 'kettle' saga. (Sorry to bring that up again Ron)

I once worked in the walkers pie factory and nicked the spice recipe. £30 a day at a time when dennis wise was on £30,000 a week at city. Supervisor in the butchery department had tattoed knuckles but was missing his left index finger. His hands read 'love' and 'ate'.

Funnily enough, my very first girlfriend was a very beautiful blonde girl called Ruth Culpin. She went to Alderman Newton's Girls school and wore a red gingham dress in the summer. However I don't think she's any relation to the pieman.

mass produced pork pies are a tricky area - however Walker's is a fine specimin. Mr Culpin also makes a hand raised pie at Christmas as a special treat for his loyal followers. Apparently it takes too long to make most of the time so the pie illustrated is his regular cast pie, same filling, same jelly and quite delicious. The hand raised item has the advantage of a suet pastry that sets like concrete, enabling you kick it home along the street without any ill effect - on the pie.

A f-a, You didn't meet a wife like this 'www.cravenherald.co.uk/zoom.php?imid=337918' because Stanforth's, transvestite, Roy Harrison with the pork pie cake is clearly just a front for his/hers nocturnal habits with the jelly. Sorry chaps. Been in the desert too long.

When I was a lowly junior in an art studio one of my tormentors would say 'Are you hungry Pete?' 'Oh yes.' 'Fancy half a pork pie?' 'Oh yes please'. 'Well go and buy one then and I'll have the other half' was always the cruel taunt.

Alastair; love that 'love and ate' story. Endless possibilities with missing digits. In a former life, I managed conferences and corporate jollies. I sent a very important pre-production e-mail to a fashion house we were looking after. It said, after lots of intimidating techie stuff: 'sound system provided by yourselves'. Except I not only missed one of the esses out of the last word but inserted a space instead. Still, no pies.

About Me

I observe huge amounts of stuff and need to commit some to blog to free brain capacity. Unfortunately I have a massive archive of transport nonsense that seems to be pouring itself out on these pages - sorry. I'm quite serious about real food also.