Today news broke about the NHL instituting a social media policy amongst it’s organizations. This covers all players, coaches, GMs and organizational staff (such as public relations, etc) who use various social media networks to get their brand to the fans. Here’s a small sample of the new policy:

“As per the new policy, there is a total “blackout period” on the use of social media on game days, which for players begins two hours prior to opening face-off and is not lifted until players have finished their post-game media obligations. The suggested blackout period for hockey operations staff is even longer, beginning at 11 a.m. on game days.

Also, the new policy makes it clear that players and club personnel will be be held responsible for their social communications in the same manner in which they are held responsible for other forms of public communications. As a result, discipline is possible for any social media statements that have or are designed to have an effect prejudicial to the welfare of the League, the game of hockey or a member club, or are publicly critical of officiating staff.“

Patrice Purrgeron got wind of this policy and held a meeting in DOY Headquarters outlining his new policy for the four of us. Living in anarchy the past year has been good to Team DOY, but apparently Purrgeron is sick of our shit. From the all night benders to the Gears of War 3 talk that him and Justin have to sit through. He’s pissed! Here’s what he wrote.

After the jump, our new social media policy. Ugh…

“Hey Dummies,

The NHL has released a new social media policy and I feel that it’s something we can benefit from. Don’t get me wrong, I love the work you’re doing on that computer machine, but I think it’s time to refine what we’re doing. The goal of Days of Y’Orr is to not only fuel the Bruins fire, but to also let the other fan bases know how bad they are both on a hockey level and a personal level. We need them to feel as awful as they probably look.

Here’s a list our policy and what I expect from you:

1. When it comes to other fan bases, nothing is off limits. In the past we’ve successfully brought down the collective idiots from Philly, Montreal, Tampa and Vancouver but I feel that there is more to be done. When berating other fans, don’t worry about gender, age or sex. Remember what we talked about in ‘Talking Shit 101′ training two years ago: If they’re old enough to speak, they’re old enough to get verbally abused.

1A. Be especially mean to Buffalo, Montreal, Philly And Tampa Bay. Remind Buffalo that they haven’t done shit, ever. Continually remind Montreal that they’re the biggest bunch of twats this side of the US Border. Remind Philadelphia how inbred they are and talk about Tampa Bay’s fans; if they have any. 1B. Leave Florida alone, their four fans can’t take the abuse anymore.

2. Don’t be afraid to tell Bruins fans what you’re feeling. It’s not all sunshine and farts, boys. If someone is acting like a fool, speak your mind. Be careful though because some writers don’t believe that writers should be fans of the team so they may not understand what they’re talking about.

3. Let the players know how you feel. Especially Blake Wheeler. Especially when he’s offsides. It doesn’t matter what team he’s playing for.

4. Dont ever…EVER take shit from Buffalo. EVER! I don’t care if Greg likes the Bills. It’s not acceptable.

5. Don’t use MySpace, ever. You’re not a bunch of 15 year old girls talking about ponies and stickers. You’re also not some shitty musician pimping out your terribly recorded music.

6. Stop sending me FarmVille invites. No Pizz, I don’t want to water your crops, I want to piss all over them and you. Also, Greg, if you send me anymore Social Sim invites, I’m burning your Sims house down and killing his stupid Sim family.

Remember our motto “We’re not happy until you’re not happy“.

- Patrice

2011-2012 DOY Inc. Social Media Policy. Those who break the policy the first time are mandated to wear a half Montreal/half Vancouver jersey and watch replays of Roberto Luongo interviews. If the policy is broken a second time, the person is subjected to watching our Mac Pacioretty autographed version of Hall Pass and write a four page essay on why it’s okay to call 911 in non-emergency hockey situations. If the policy is broken for a third time, the person will be shipped to the Bell Centre where they must massage Carey Price’s shaky ego for all of eternity.“