and loves every second of it

Recent weeks have seen Waterford mobs campaigning against minority groups receiving welfare funding. They demand that the small, vulnerable group leave before they cause problems for the larger community, and are apparently completely serious despite part of Ireland in the European Union.

Ireland, which has received tens of billions of euros in funding from the EU in recent decade — funding provided from richer countries with the express intent of raising Irish living conditions to what the rest of the EU views as minimum standards — is now facing problems with gobshites think they have half a leg to stand on when telling anyone else to do anything.

Some of the stupider Irish — and we’re not talking “not that bright”, we’re talking more “accidentally chew through their tongue if forced to attempt a crossword” — believe that fellow Europeans are somehow incapable of earning or keeping money. Possibly unaware that it’s only four years since Ireland had to beg Europe for an emergency 67.5 billion euro bailout for just fucking things up altogether. Probably incapable of counting to four.

Many Romanis have come to Ireland to seek a better life and escaping crushing poverty in their home country. Several Irish people protesting against this could not be reached for comment, as their utter ignorance of their own people’s history of emigration caused them to vanish from the timestream. Making the world a better place.

“We don’t want them round here!” said Paddy O’Ballface, a thirtysomething nobody who has never even heard of the times Irish people were forced to travel across the American continent for back-breaking third-class labor. He has never felt any prejudice. He has never been more than four miles from his home. He is rarely found than four meters from his couch.

The situation was escalated by Sinn Féin councillor John Hearne, who made comments accusing Roma people of theft, violent attacks with swords, and grooming his friends’ children with cocaine, and none of those are jokes for this article, those are all things he really said. You’d really think things like that would lead to arrests instead of a facebook posts. It’s almost like he’s an incendiary prat whose lips are visibly moving as he paws through “Rabble Rousing for Dummies”.

A number of people have agreed with the Sinn Féin councilor, apparently failing to realize what that status really says about them. “We’re not a violent, racist, sectarian mob of thugs!”, they cry. “We’re just attacking people in accordance with the statements of Sinn Féin members. History will surely confirm that only good guys do that.”