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Friday, February 27, 2009

When I said there were a few favors I was going to ask of you, this particular one I was not aware of until this morning. Some kids at Em's school have lost their daddy. A wife has lost her husband. Will you guys please pray for this family? My heart is grieving so deeply for them and I don't really even know them. I've met the mom a couple of times, but she is a good friend of another friend of mine from Em's school. Please, please pray for the effects of this tragedy. Please pray that God's presence would surround this sweet family to comfort them. Please pray that the Holy Spirit would lead us as her community to love her the way He intends for her to be loved. I know you guys will pray. And I trust God will lead you how to pray for this young widow and her fatherless children. Thank you! I appreciate you all more than words can describe! Hug your family close tonight, and thank God for the wonderful friends in your life. xoxox

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

So, not sure really who or how many are out there anymore, but in the next few days I have a couple favors to ask. The only way I can repay you is to thank you in advance for taking the time to read this, take action, and hopefully help make a healthy and lasting impression on other people's lives because you spoke up...

The first favor has to do with raising awareness for Lyme's Disease. As you may know from reading here, Noah's stool killed dozens of mice at the CDC but they never determined why. He had something infectious, but they used all his stool in the first round of testing, so never figured it out. Well, through further testing and blood work, we did find that Noah was born with the antigen for borreliaBurgdorferi, aka Lyme's Disease which was somehow given to him from me. I didn't realize it had been dormant in my body for years. Many people don't!

Continued research is being done regarding Lyme's, if it can transfer to a fetus during pregnancy, if it's presence in a small child, undetected, is the link to Autism through vaccinations and a slew of several other genetic disorders and diseases. The problem is, starting with the FDA and the CDC, not enough attention is being paid to this disease. So many people are being told it's just in their heads or have been given faulty clinical diagnoses for other things like MS, Lou Gehrig's, Rheumatoid arthritis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, among other things. In some cases, OBVIOUSLY, those are the proper diagnoses, but in others, it's a misdiagnosis and it's the person and their family that miss out on the truth and on health.

So, yes, you know I don't watch Oprah anymore, not because I hate her, because I don't. Mostly it's b/c I rarely watch TV, but I know that is rare. We all know that in the media, if Oprah endorses or draws attention to something, it becomes a household name. Well, I am part of a Lyme Network. I receive emails, and as you all know, I still do research because I want to spare any other parent the journey I have travelled and continue to walk. Well, apparently there's a 'call' for topic interest on Oprah's web site and Dr. Oz is looking into bringing up Lyme's on the show. Below is the info. Would you please, please, PLEASE write in? You don't even have to have suffered from Lyme's but just writing in that you know of families who have been affected by it is so helpful. Believe me, I don't think that this is the only way to raise awareness, but it is a step forward.

Forwarded from Open Eye producer Kris NewbyThanks to all of the people who wrote in to Oprah! We need to ask you another favor -- to write in again! Dr. Oz will be looking at this link!

Even if you wrote before, write again and ask Dr. Oz and Oprah to do a show on UNDER OUR SKIN and the controversy of chronic Lyme. Dr. Oz is interested but needs to see bigger response. Our last community page had 140-some comments. There were 150 people who wrote in to a recent question about toilet paper -- certainly we can get more people to write in about something as serious and life changing as Lyme disease.

Everyone spread the word! Write in and ask your friends to write in. Please - we don't have much time!

Believe me, I could write a dissertation about the effects of borreliaBurgdorferi on the human body. It is not just a little bug that attacks the body, like catching a cold. It's a stealth organism that attacks the cells of the body, can sit dormant for YEARS undetected, and when imbalance takes a toll on your body, it's activated to wreak havoc. It is not a respecter of persons and IT IS NOT LIMITED TO LYME, CT, or the Upper Northeast! People from every state in the union have tested positive for the antigen for Lyme. We all hate the word 'CANCER'. We all need to hate the word 'DISEASE', in general!

*You don't have to give your street address on the email link form above. If you'd like a suggestion as to what to say, shoot me an email at: adexoxox@gmail.com

Here's what I wrote, fyi:

Hello Dr. Oz. Apparently for the last several years I have had Lyme's Disease. I say 'apparently' because one, I didn't know I had it, and thus, didn't know it could sit dormant for years. I had symptoms over the last 20 years but never thought they were anything other than the average flu or strep infections. The only reason I was made aware of my condition was due to a 5.5 month stay in the hospital with my 7 wk old son, Noah. I took him in for chronic diarrhea but he was admitted for nystagmus testing. Then, his stool killed dozens of mice at the CDC (sent in for botulism, as a precaution for his hypotonia). To make a very, very long story short, after one and a half months, the ICU physicians, neurologists and geneticists were at a loss for diagnosis. They clinically wanted to call it a leukodystrophy, but couldn't because of normal lab test results, including DNA sequencing, and the infectious stool at the CDC, which was inconclusive. Finally, we sent our own samples to reputable labs for testing through outside doctors. Noah's blood and mine both showed the antigen for borreliaBurgdorferi, but not the antibodies. There are so many schools of thought on how Bb is transmitted. I don't really care about that. There will always be politics in medicine. My concern as a mother of a deceased child (we ultimately had to remove Noah from life support after 5.5 months w/o answers) and as a woman considering pregnancy in a later stage of life now, though Lyme free, is the lack of attention the FDA and CDC pays to this devastating disease. My question for you is why is Lyme's so 'hush hush'? There are many speculations, including some research, regarding Bb's link to many other horrible conditions. Are you willing to raise awareness, to think outside the box, and to educate the many millions of people who watch Oprah daily about the truth about Lyme and how it silently affects thousands, if not more, of people everyday? I appreciate your time.

The other favor is about the book. I'll ask later this week...Thanks, you guys!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lately I feel like a penguin in the Sahara, a wild cheetah in the tundra, a beaver in a tree top, a fish out of water. Actually, as I sit here next to Sarah Lovey Dovey III (Em's third Beta fish), I know she wouldn't last long, like we're talking a minute or so, without water. She's not like those African Lungfish that burrow in the mud for months at a time during the dry season and live off very little oxygen until the rainy season returns.

I don't think we were meant to do that either. Survive, that is. I mean, if we were created just to survive as followers of Christ, then we would be expected to live daily off word of mouth from Jesus' day. Have you ever played 'telephone'?! If that were the case, we'd be worshiping an 8 armed goddess, sacrificing fruit and wearing underwear on our heads! We would not have been given, one, the Holy Spirit, or two, the very words of God in the bible if we were called merely to survive. I'm nauseous to think how many times in my life I have tried to live off God's word from years, months, even days past, not seeking Him daily for 'food and drink'.

I guess the way I've been feeling 'out of water' or out of my element is that I, along with everyone else in America, am living with constant bombardment from the media (don't get me started...$%^&#$%^) with messages that "we are in a serious financial crisis...take care of your own...pinch pennies, etc. etc." My surroundings do not define me. My circumstances are just that...circumstances. What impact they have on eternity is up to how much I allow it to control my thoughts and reactions. We'd have to literally be an African Lungfish living in the ground to miss that times are tough financially. This isn't rocket science. The financial sitch in the U.S. isn't getting better any time soon. Believe me, I have debated taking 'Monopoly' or 'LIFE' money with me on my next trip to the grocery store since it will have about the same worth as our dollar with the pending inflation plan. But, I won't, just in case that's illegal...(But seriously, wouldn't it be fun to go to the grocery store, drop a $100,000 golden rod paper bill on the counter and say, "Pay for the groceries of every one in the store today!")

Anyway, the point is, it doesn't matter! The world can be literally falling apart around us, the whole world or our own world in which we live. But, when we have God at the center of our lives, standing on His word, trusting He's not a man/human that He'll fail us, the storms will come but they won't destroy us. They may rage, but not overtake us. We can trust that He knows what He's doing and that He doesn't live according to American politics or economics (Thank you, LORD!), and as a result, when those storms come, we can still have hope.

The part for me is, I don't want to 'live' being directed by the ebbs and flows of our economy, political agendas, societal urgings. Media is not the boss of me! I want to truly LIVE, in OPPOSITE WORLD! God's world...His agenda, His direction... when I have money in my wallet (which is rarely since Jason always sniffs it out...) and He says to give it away, I want to do it and trust Him that it's just part of a bigger picture that He sees, whether I do or not. I may think I needed that cash but obviously someone will always, ALWAYS need it more. And when I have a need, He'll provide for me. Although, He knows what I need more than I do...opposite world. And, quite frankly, what is a need vs. a want, anymore?

Jesus' words are still, and always will be, the thing in our lives that separates our selfishness from living a life led by His Spirit. If we view it in light of 'Opposite World'...that just maybe God works differently than we do and we need to stop expecting Him to think like limited humans who function off 10% of their brains...His words make so much more sense! *(Below are some scriptures the Lord is encouraging my heart with. I pray they encourage yours, as well. The blue thoughts below each are either things that have run through my mind at one point, or may be running through yours...)

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (But Lord, I can't see Heaven...how do I know it's real? And what is a treasure if it's not riches and gold? And, besides, I've worked hard for all of this and deserve it...)

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" (But Lord, my choices seem right to me...according to what the world thinks is right and wrong...LORD, please help me to see with Your eyes, with light that floods my dark, hidden places!)

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." (But Lord, this isn't what a lot of preachers have told me or continue to preach to their congregations...they have said I can have it all! It doesn't seem to be working...I want more! Well, I want more of You, of course, but I'm not asking for much, just a little cushion to make life a little easier...)

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (But Lord, what do You mean I can't eat out every night?! And if I don't work out every single day for at least an hour then I won't be able to eat extra dessert! Well, at least my walk-in-closet isn't as big as her walk-in-closet...But Lord, if I don't worry then bad things will happen and everything will be out of my control!)

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Wait a minute! You know what I need?! Surely I know what I need better than You do...I mean, You're really busy with running the Universe and all, You couldn't possibly care about my day to day needs! I don't want to bug You with the details...I'll handle them myself...)

Just maybe God is smarter than us. Just maybe, even though everything feels like chaos around us, He still holds the world in His hands and has a plan, and that plan is good. Just maybe, and I'm going out on a limb here, that if we lose our lives we'll find them...if we trust an unseen God, we'll see our lives radically change...if we give out of our need, we'll be the richest people to walk the earth. But that only works in 'Opposite World', not the 'world' in which we live. Want to go there?!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Have you or someone you know been the object of identity theft? I don't personally know anyone who it has happened to, but I imagine it has got to be more than frustrating, totally inconvenient, and extremely violating! The audacity of someone else, a total stranger, using your name and personal information to do whatever it is they do with it...and often you don't know until some big purchase is made or your name is linked to something slanderous.Well, guess what?! The bible says, "The enemy comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

The first word is steal. Here's what Merriam-Webster defines it as:

intransitive verb1: to take the property of another wrongfully and especially as a habitual or regular practice2: to come or go secretly, unobtrusively, gradually, or unexpectedly

transitive verb1 a: to take or appropriate without right or leave and with intent to keep or make use of wrongfully b: to take away by force or unjust means stolen our liberty c: to take surreptitiously or without permission steal a kiss d: to appropriate to oneself or beyond one's proper share : make oneself the focus of steal the show2 a: to move, convey, or introduce secretly : smuggle b: to accomplish in a concealed or unobserved manner steal a visit3 a: to seize, gain, or win by trickery, skill, or daring

The next word is kill. Here's the definition:

transitive verb1 a: to deprive of life : cause the death of2 a: to put an end to kill competition b: defeat, veto killed the amendment c: to mark for omission ; also delete d: annihilate or destroy to kill an enemy3 a: to destroy the vital or essential quality of killed the pain with drugs b: to cause to stop kill the motor6 a: to cause extreme pain to b: to tire almost to the point of collapse

The final word is destroy. Here's that definition:

transitive verb1: to ruin the structure, organic existence, or condition of destroyed the files ; also: to ruin as if by tearing to shreds destroyed2 a: to put out of existence

As far as our identity goes, in this sense, I have had my identity stolen. I've even allowed it to happen. I believed the lies of the enemy that I should act, look, perform a certain way. I bought into thinking that what I do defines me. I had actually aligned my thinking with the way the world thinks and conformed to its opinion of me. Many of us have. We have tried to make names for ourselves. We even revel in the roles we play: wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee, employer, etc. The problem with that is when we move from Jesus as Savior to inviting Him into our lives as Lord, our identity then lies in Him, not ourselves. We become children of God. His daughter or son. We are forgiven. We are free. We often try to hold onto who we are, what we want, who we have made ourselves to be, what we do.

Last week the Lord spoke to my heart in a pretty powerful way. My heart was heavy for many different friends going through hard times and as I was praying for them, God had me write this down. He then said, "The message is never only for the recipient but for the messenger and for My body." As a result, I am going to share it here. He did not share it to condemn us but to draw us closer to Him. To expose the enemy's tactics and schemes in our lives. To bring light where we have welcomed darkness.

Somehow you’ve made ‘all this’…’your life’…’this trial’ all about you. When you gave your life to Me, it became My life. Do not be surprised that any of this is happening to you, as if you are a victim. You are right that under pressure true character is revealed. Yours is being revealed, layer by layer, who you have made yourself to be. Once we are done playing your game, I’d like to show you how to truly live. Any time one of My children is tested, I do not take pleasure in it. Don’t you think that I would have preferred you to have listened to Me long ago when I’ve gently nudged you to discern between right and wrong, plenty and excess, contentment and greed? But, as all of My children, you have shown Me your independence. When will you stop, rest at My feet, and know that You will only be prosperous when your full dependence is on Me? And what is prosperity (success, recognition)? It is your god! You have willingly removed Me from My rightful throne…your heart. This is why you are faltering. And in the midst of this trial you are slandering My name. I am the God of the Universe! No one may use my name in vain…for your own advantage. Do not say you love My son and carry on as you do! I love you more than you can even comprehend! I love the family (and friends) I have given you more than you ever will! You are broken. I am your only Healer. If you care what other people really thought than you would be more concerned that in this trial you have run from Me rather than to Me. The enemy of your heart only intends destruction for My children. I have come so that you would have full life and peace. So as people see you in this trial they aren’t seeing My name because you won’t run to Me. They see a person who cares more about their own name than the Name that is above every name. My name. I am. I am the One who has promised never to leave you. Everything else, as you have seen, is temporary. Come to Me.

Believe me, I've been on my face about it since He put it on my heart and I will continue to do so. All of it may be for you, or just parts of it, but know that God never commits identity theft. With us and Him it's a willing transfer. With satan, he'll do anything to destroy who we are in Christ and the life to which God has called us. Has he stolen yours?

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Have you ever seen, or been in, a cat fight? Did you know that satan (sorry, I can't get myself to capitalize his name...) loves cat fights? That's right! He loves to stir up jealousy, greed, unforgiveness, strife, comparison, insecurity, and especially discontent among women. As long as he can entice us to focus on what we don't have or why 'she has more of this or that', our eyes are on our circumstances instead of the One who loves us, is faithful to provide for us and has a plan for our lives. The truth is, there will always be someone who has: more money; better clothes; more kids; a better job; a better boyfriend or husband; more friends; a more peaceful family, etc. etc. Instead of wishing we were as talented as so and so, why can't we first see each woman as a uniquely designed instrument designed by God to be part of a magnificent orchestra? Not every musician in an orchestra wants to be a violinist...nor should they be.

Yeah, the devil hates it when women know who they are in Christ. He hates it when we read God's word, but not only that, he hates it when we begin to have the audacity to believe it! You see, even the devil knows God's word. In Matthew chapter 4 we find the temptation of Jesus in the wilderness. Jesus had just fasted for forty days and nights and was hungry. It says, "3The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." 4Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" In the next verse the devil goes on to actually quote scripture to Jesus. Why wasn't there authority behind the devil quoting scripture? Because the next section of scripture Jesus shows that He worships the Lord God and serves Him only. His heart was not divided. He knew who He was and He knew He had a purpose. We are no different in that we can know who we are in the Lord and we can know His purpose for our lives. However, if our hearts are consumed with who we are not, our minds cluttered with all the what ifs, and our lives filled with things that will only temporarily satisfy, we will never experience the fullness and depth of relationship the Lord intends for each of us.

So, what then? First we can go before the Lord and recognize there is no such thing as a secret when it comes to us actually trying to hide something from Him. We need to be honest with the Lord about our hearts toward ourselves and others. In doing that, it opens a door for us to freedom. Freedom in being able to lay it all at His feet and say, "Let Your kingdom come, let Your will be done." Trusting that He actually knew what He was doing when He designed you. Next, we need to appreciate that it is part of God's design that we are all different. Each of us reflects a different part of God's beauty...we are made by Him, to display His splendor. So, instead of resenting or being jealous of the women we know and meet, let's ask the Lord to show us His heart for each other, how we can pray for one another, encourage them in their gifts, love them the way we are called to love. For some, another step will need to be taken. A step of repenting and asking God, and perhaps another woman or women, for forgiveness...If we are to have God's heart for all women, that will include the ones that we have hated, ones who have betrayed us, ones with different callings or passions or world views.

If we ask God for His eyes and His heart for the women in our lives we will be able to work together, sharing God's love as He intended it. As long as we believe we are actually better than someone else, we will never be used to minister to them. How disheartening to hold onto our grievances to one day learn that the very women we judged were the ones God had called us to love...

About Me

Not a lot...and probably too much. I'm simple and complicated. I'm completely random and totally calculated. I'm a talker and a listener, an idealist, a realist and a dreamer. I am a living oxymoron. I love God more than I can put into words and am thankful that I don't have to try to live this life out on Earth without Him. My husband and kids are my most favorite! My family and friends are true gifts from God. I'm finally 40-ish and I think it's fabulous! Pain and suffering are two things I have embraced because in walking through them, I am learning to live life to the fullest. One. Day. At. A. Time.