Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Quality of power

It is simultaneously both terrifying and endlessly amusing just how much power a single person can hold.

My day yesterday was dreary and sleep filled. Playing catch up with everyone I hadn't seen in years drained me. Alcohol consumption, which happens once in a blue moon these days, didn't help my cause any. While talking to my ex for a few minutes before she dropped me off, my speech became less than it should be. I began to say "leaved" rather than "left" and caught myself. We had just been talking about how she's happy that I'm going back to school and I shouldn't be wasting my intelligence. So when I made that mistake in speech, my brain nearly reverted back to thinking "WTF? I thought I was done with this inarticulate, grammatically incorrect chemo infested bullshit." But she looked at me (after laughing of course), and said "See why I limit who I hang out with and how often? You absorb people easily like me." A fact which I've been very well aware of for the past few years but to hear her say it- something she never voiced in the 4 years we spent together, was kind of amazing. I had a giant *phew* moment and realized that with all the alcohol consumption I had let my bubble down and absorbed my surroundings. A moment of sadness followed as the people I was surrounded by have giant, kind hearts. But if I'm 100% honest, energetically we don't vibe as well as we used to anymore. So while I need not write them off completely, our interactions will need to stay minimal if I wish to continue refining my energy field and operate at full capacity.

Today also began dreary. It's been colder than I became accustomed to after an east coast summer and SoCal fall. The sky was overcast and for the life of me I couldn't find my thumb drive to send and print resumes. In tearing apart my belongings that have yet to be put away, an envelope fell out of The Alchemist. It instantly made me smile and so I expressed myself accordingly to the sender. I then took Scrappy out into the backyard to pee. As my phone vibrated notifying me of the responding text, the clouds literally parted. The sun peeked and then flooded my face. A Robin came and sat in my tree singing his song, showing off his beautiful red breast. The power of people...