Monday, June 11, 2012

Prometheus Review

We Have Found God. Turns Out He’s a
10 Foot Tall Steroid Addicted

Fester Addams.

I know I am not the only one on the internet who hates
prequels. In concept, a prequel is about
as pointless as it gets. The common
prequel starts off with an established piece of backstory from whatever it is
prequeling, and then proceeds to take the viewer right up to the earliest
events of the original story. So it’s
basically telling a story that we already know with an ending we’ve already
seen. What a waste of time. When I heard that Prometheus was a prequel to
the prolific Alien franchise, I was disheartened. However, if you hate prequels like me, put
your fears to rest. Prometheus is not a prequel to Alien. Prometheus is in fact its own story.

Prometheus is about the search for the origin of human
kind. All across the world, ancient
civilizations mapped out the existence of a distant planet. This planet may be the home of an alien race
that created human kind. Our old
friends, the Weyalnd-Yutani Corp, decide to lead an expedition of scientists,
botanists, biologists, geologists and all other kind of ists to make contact
with these ancient aliens we call “the Engineers”, and perhaps discover the
answer to the most puzzling question of all time; “Why?”

To be quite honest, the story to Prometheus is a mess. It’s a hot mess of ideas thrown together,
cobbled up in a big dripping ball, and then lunged into the air, breaking off into
sludgy disgusting pieces as it cascades to the ground. Not that I can blame studio executives for
getting excited upon reading the outline because the story foundation of
Prometheus is solid. What it lacks is
logic, believability and characters that aren’t all too dumb to live.

Every character is supposedly an expert in their field, so how
the hell do these “experts” end up doing exactly the opposite of what any real expert in their field would do?! Here’s a hypothetical example. Imagine a fireman trying to put out a fire
with whiskey. That’s pretty much the way
these “experts” think. There is no way
in hell any of these people are experts.
They are too stupid. Not to
mention the main character Dr. Elizabeth Shaw.
For someone who claims to believe in God she sure does everything she can
to prove he doesn’t exist. Shaw is
religious only because the script says so.
How can I believe in characters like this? It’s sad that the most realistic character in
the movie is an artificial person.

Beyond the horrible characters, Prometheus also just spits
in the face of logic at every turn. “Hey
guys, we may be on an alien world but the air is 100% breathable according to
our sensors. If it’s all the same to you
guys, I’m going to ignore the fact that we are on an alien world and take off
my helmet and breathe in potential contaminants, bacteria, and contagions that
may not be able to be detected by our Earth technology.” Yeah, these smart dudes take off their helmets
just because it’s fun, and then they are actually allowed back in their ship,
ignoring the fact that these people may be contaminated. Then the best part happens: everyone is
shocked that people start getting sick.
Idiots. It’s hard to feel bad for
characters that bring every bad thing on themselves by making stupid decisions.

Prometheus is not all bad though. It is masterfully filmed, featuring some
excellent cinematography, brilliant effects and an undeniably stirring
ambience. The movie is perfectly paced
and is extremely tense. Prometheus may
have a bad script, but that does not prevent it from delivering on its chills
and scares. It really is a beautiful
movie. That and the acting is
terrific. I give special props to
Michael Fassbender, who plays the android David, serving as a care taker of
sorts for the crew.

Prometheus suffers from a weak story that was clearly under
thought, or simply underdeveloped. The characters
are too stupid to inspire even a single semblance of pity, leaving Prometheus
to be a hollow and emotionless experience.
The story also asks way too many questions while offering absolutely
zero answers, once again leaving the audience unsatisfied. However, it is successful in its thrills,
chills, creeps, and scares. Prometheus
also features one of the most intensely visceral scenes produced in modern
cinema. A scene that is brutally
memorable, perhaps even iconic, and certainly worthy of being placed right next
to the original Alien’s first chest bursting scene. Prometheus will be long remembered for this
sequence alone.

Overall, Prometheus is a fun and thrilling adventure. Though it wants to be more, it ultimately
amounts to a mindless yet entertaining sci-fi thriller. It’s not nearly as good as Alien or Aliens,
but it is miles beyond Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection. It has a lot of great ideas, but the execution
leaves them dangling around like flies stuck in a spider’s web. It’s not cohesive, but it is a fair
effort. Perhaps Scott’s eyes were just a
tad too big for his stomach on this one.
Either way, his filmmaking ability is still in top shape. The narrative… well… that’s another
story… I give Prometheus a 7.5 out
10. It’s disappointing, but not
terrible.

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About Me

Hey there! I'm Ryan Keyworth. I am a writer, editor, colorist and letterer. I primarily work in the comic book realm, having written and published my creator owned comic book series, Star Crossed Galaxy. I also have written several articles, columns, and reviews all across the web. You can see some of my works hosted at PCM Tech Help Show and Fanboy Buzz. Also, check out my personal blog, The Writer's Blog!