The Quokkas are an internationally franchised drinking team with a cricketing problem
Renowned for our fearsome lack of fear on the cricketing pitch, we bring our unique brand of sporting ineptitude and enthusiasm over ability to the ovals of our opponents

One minute we’re walking out on the field, bowl pretty good, get a bit unlucky in the field, go out to bat, don’t hit enough sixes and what feels like 10 seconds later we’ve lost the match.

Ahhh the BDNO.

We had some stand out moments – Monty copped it tough being peppered at deep mid wicket but kept his cool and remains a massive legend in my books. Gaz was kept busy at deep-backward point and saved a bunch of boundaries without putting a foot wrong. Pup affected an insane run-out off his own bowling flicking a direct hit at the non-strikers end from side-on, some credit for which must go to J-Rod who obligingly departed the field so that I could bring Pup on (thanks J-Rod).

Rohan kept wicket tremendously and took every chance that came his way. Jay bowled a tight line getting the most out of the flat track. Big Dog bowled a really tidy penultimate over and claimed another scalp. Alex tossed one up and got carted for four, then dared the batsmen to do it again and got the wicket next ball and another one the ball after that.

Ed’s over was water-tight and also removed someone’s leg stump while Local closed out the death sharply.

The fact that hardly any runs (maybe 2?) were scored behind square leg was testament to our good line – the stumbling block being the semi-regular drag-downs which disappeared over mid wicket.

We were kept well in check with the bat and unfortunately just couldn’t find the boundary enough with the exception of Dutchy who made retirement in the usual quick time. I flat batted one over square leg that missed a small child’s face by a few inches… horrific situation avoided.

Luckily the only drama that followed was that we pretty easily lost the match.

Sincere apologies to those who missed out on the chance to contribute with the bat namely Pup, Big Dog, Monty and Local. Your understanding and sportsmanship was truly appreciated despite some obvious frustration.

Also big thanks to Kathleen behind the bar and those who put in so much time and effort behind the scenes for the wild and unique event that is the BDNO.

The Big Day Not Out (BDNO) has been more agile than a Quokka fielder in recent seasons, moving from the end of the season to anytime where the Edinburgh Gardens is available during the Summer. This seasons effort has been moved to the quasi-traditional spot at the end of the season, providing the garlic sauce effect by adding a little more spice to the contest as YPCA teams battle it out for supremacy in the T10 format.

With the ICC looking to get T10 cricket included in the Olympics, now would be a good time to get the IOC to look away at something else.

It is with a little sadness that The Quokkas go into this game, as it bids adieu to what has been a busy Summer, but a thoroughly enjoyable one in which the squad actually won some games and really supported one another throughout (almost).

Thanks for everything, all of you.

Form Guide:

The Quokkas come into this game having narrowly lost to the ANSC by about 20 runs, or the difference of their best player. Given this format is much shorter, the opportunity for good players to score 40-odd is non-existent, which works in the Quokkas favor.

Huzzah for lack of opportunities! Bring back serfdom!

In the Spotlight:

Pup comes into this match after the best game of his career (that we know of), having scored 46 and bowled some crazy left-arm swing. His Runs Per Over rate this season is an incredible 3.6, which is probably a little too ridiculous.

Snipper is Captain for the match, having been the best on ground last season. The man in the shades has “only” averaged 27 with the bat this season, but done so at a strike rate of 2.08 & with 74% of his runs coming from boundaries (44% sixes) – which is more than enough for the BDNO.

Team News:

Young snip-snip has a quorum of Quokkas to choose from this week, including:

Ed

Big Dog

Dutchy

Jay

Alex

Radar

Monty

Pup

Snipper

Local

J Rod

Gaz

Pitch and Conditions:

Autumn will truly be on show this Sunday, with a wet and windy day predicted and a high of 21 degrees. The start time of 11am may include some tough conditions and sore heads, but may help the bowlers with swing.

Alfred Crescent Oval is notable for its small boundaries, which can appear to get mysteriously smaller once the batsmen get started.

Stats and Trivia:

This will be the Quokkas 8th attempt at winning the BDNO, this years squad arguably being the strongest since Rowdy and Gladys appeared;

Ed and Pup are the only players to appear in every Quokka BDNO, with Dutchy and the Big Dog having missed 1 each

There’s a serenity/chaos dichotomy in pub league cricket and its fair to say Nerrena has won the Quokkas’ hearts. It’s a field placed upon a majestic location with a view to die for. Any hipster barista in pub-league territory could only dream of the single origin milk/cream produced in these parts and wouldn’t know what to do when confronted with the majestic view from the Nerrena oval, on the crest of a hill overlooking a landscape somehow escaped by the Heidelberg school, who quite frankly couldn’t be farked traveling beyond the old metro zone 1 train ticket reaches.

Not bad

The Nerrena game has become folklore amongst the quokka tribe, not just for the challenge, scenery and view but the pre-game fish n chips night-before tradition (entering its second year). The quokka tribe has entered an aggressive recruitment plus breeding program. If anyone needs to understand ‘cute’ please witness Radar and Caitlin dote over the quokkas future No3 batsman and opening bowler!

A last minute change with our leading strike bowler and trophy promulgate, Big Dog, needing to go home as his father had passed back in Ireland – brought a sobering reality to proceedings.

And then onto game day…

The quokkas went with an aggressive (confused?) turn-up-before-the-opposition-tactic, Albeit only half of us. The inevitable last minute logistical confusion ensued as some had gigs the night before and others were still asking Siri where ‘Near Enya’ was…

Some context…

The Nerrena lads have previously spanked the quokkas with their mix of older guile and youth. This year the yoof faces changed but still were impressive (almost to the point I would say the best Nerrena we have faced!).

But there was a ‘plan’. A ‘chaos plan’.

The Quokkas bowled first.

This was to be a theory derived in Dutchy’s deluded mind that cricket doesn’t apply to pub-league. Reactionary field placing was gone, traditional field placing were verboten and Bowlers would be backed rather than reactionary. And so a big thank you to the Nerrena batsmen for making that plan look ok.

And to say the quokkas bowling stepped up was an understatement, I am not exaggerating to state it was one of the best ever Quokkas bowling performances to date. Ed, Alex, Pete, Jay and Radar swung, moved and bowled tight with Ed, Alex and Radar knocking the stumps down. And then, the secret weapon Rolly was introduced. First ball. Skied to Rev. Catch taken.

Paramedics were called… mainly for the Quokkas…

Things were looking good for the Quokkas as the Nerrena lads were mistakenly playing cricket whilst the Quokkas were playing the short game. A statement that may never be repeated re Quokkas bowling is that no single over contained more than one boundary. No, seriously!

Snipper bowled with one arm and was unfairly bombarded with catches on his injured side. Ed was almost eviscerated by a ‘chance’ at square leg and in total the quokkas dropped approx 6 (sometimes brutal) catches but those numbers don’t tell a true tale.

Put simply. The Quokkas excelled. Cath (with Piper), under trying circumstances, had made the trip and came on to bowl. The instructions were simple, “bowl as high as and loopy as Darragh does”. Within her first three deliveries she almost had two wickets and honestly could have finished the day with three,

Whilst the Nerrena lads were swishing, there wasn’t much runs and despite the forced retirements of faces their total got up to 139.

And now the Quokkas were faced with a conundrum before unseen.

The usual 25 overs historically has seen us staring down 170-200+ totals. The choke was on!

But Nerrena had a rather annoying battery of young bowlers who looked like they knew of this mysterious ‘line and length’ white whale some have spoken of, yet rarely harpooned, in pub league.

After a short break whereupon the quokkas tried to mentally readjust to the possibility of a gettable target, Rev and Radar (R&R) headed out. Now the Rev is a new beast this season and has been spotted on occasion playing ‘shots’. And yet somehow went out despite looking good. Radar is one of my ‘moneyball’ players. flashy bat that likes it coming at him fast and sending it away faster, unfortunately sucked into a stumping but had the scoreboard ticking early…

Enter Jay. After checking Rev wasn’t at the other end, he yet again played some great scoring shots and kept the runs coming. There’s thirties in his future soon…

But soon the fireworks and soundtrack pumped across the landscape as the ‘single origin Local show’ waltzed out and immediately introduced the backward sweep to great effect for a boundary.

Jay departed after some quick runs to let Alex get involved. As if it wasn’t enough that he was capable of bowling some seriously awesome leg breaks, it would not be over stated to say Alex has been nothing short of amazing with the willow this season.

I mean, he does cheat; footwork should be discouraged…

Snipper still managed to bat effectively despite being one sided and Ed and myself ticked over the last few runs to take victory.

Personal highlights:

Watching Peter show his lad (Radar) and grandson he still has it!

Watching the confusion on Quokkas faces with field placings that can change between overs!

Piper teaching new emojis on the sidelines

Our best bowlers being pretty much all of us!

It was fairly quickly made sober to realise the Big Dog wasn’t here to witness a first, historic win for the “O’Donovan-Gannon’ Trophy.

A huge thank you to the Nerrena crew for hosting a great day which we are already look forward to next year’s edition.

Love seeing the new young faces come through the Nerrena team. Big thanks to locals Will and cohorts for filling in whilst the Quokka last few rolled up.