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Onyango Obama, the president's illegal immigrant uncle who said, "I think I will call the White House," during a DUI stop in 2011, once again mentioned his famous nephew this week, noting that Barack stayed with him while attending Harvard Law. This was apparently news to the White House press office, which said at the time that it had no record of the two ever meeting. Realizing two years later that it may have helped to, you know, ask, a spokesperson issued a new statement: "The president did stay with him for a brief period of time until his apartment was ready."

"After that, they saw each other once every few months, but after law school they fell out of touch," added Deputy Press Secretary Eric Schultz. "The president has not seen him in 20 years, has not spoken with him in 10."

Previously, the crack team had "looked at the president’s records, including the president’s book," and found no mention of Onyango. "That was what was conveyed," Jay Carney confirmed. "No one had spoken to the president." He added, "I thought it was the right thing to do to go ask him."

Onyango was granted a green card this week — "without any interference from the president or the White House," said Schultz, as if the heads of those inclined to believe otherwise hadn't already exploded in rage.