Nike -(D&D home-brew) Cleric of the Spirit of Feet and Legs. Killed when a party-member decided the protective padding around the Bone-to-Mud Bomb we were trying to get to the Evil Temple of Bone had better uses, and left it loose in her backpack, which was subsequently hit by a blow from an Invisible Stalker.

Berken the Bold. – (D&D, then home-brew) The earliest character I can remember running, started as a Wizard in D&D 0e (the white box), but was carried over into my step-brother’s home-brew based around Melee (before there was even The Fantasy Trip). His specialty was Lightning Bolt and clever uses of Illusion. Eventually became a demi-god when he got boring to play.

Terra-Man -(Champions) Like Aquaman, but he can “swim” through the ground! A big, Brick with a heart of gold, not stupid as much as a very linear thinker. Pratchett fans would see a lot of similarity to Carrot Ironfoundersson, though Terra-Man came first.

Bubba Bo-Bob – (D&D home-brew) The most inept D&D character I ever ran, with stats so low that it triggered the GM’s house rule that he could roll on the GM’s special racial shapeshifter chart…where he found he was a Were-Lyrebird. He had 1 hit point at first level, and 2 at second level. I think he transformed once in his career, to escape a sinking ship. Skeletonized by a swarm of voracious pirhana-like rats, and abandoned by his companions, who decided they weren’t going to waste the party’s regeneration ring on him.

Helena Justina d’Medici – (Star Frontiers, then Savage Worlds, in a Warhammer 40K setting). Consigliere to the grandson of the powerful d’Medici merchant clan, currently an outlaw on the run with her immediate kin, after the clan was declared Heretics by Inquisitor Tyrel. A cool-headed lightning calculator with nerves of steel and an encyclopedic knowledge of the law.

Bel – (D&D 3e Paladin). My attempt to play a genuinely full-out Lawful Good (but not Lawful Stupid) Paladin, inspired in part by Paksenarrion. Her greatest triumph was in realizing that some pirates who were expecting to ambush her and her men on an island had probably left their ship inadequately guarded; when that proved to be the case, she took their ship, sailed it off and hid it, and then returned and negotiated their surrender, all without actually killing anybody.

Hugh Cardiff – (home-brew) A Kentucky Rifleman who was dimensionally displaced into a fantasy setting (the same world as Berken the Bold) and became an adventurer there. He was the first PC to ever get all the way through the GM’s infamous Deathmaze Dungeon (that campaign’s equivalent of the Tomb of Horrors).

Fred, the Platinum Dragon Techno. (home-brew after brushing up against Arduin) I ran a bunch of Arduin Grimoire back in the day, which had a class called Technos (people who used technology instead of magic, and got more advanced items as they leveled up). My step-brother liked that, and incorporated it into his world. Then there was the Vending Machine of Polymorph that Fred the Techno ran into…. Fred’s ambition was to run an Inn, which he eventually did. He was inspired by an NPC Innkeeper in my Arduin campaign who served as a source of resurrections and the like when Arduin kicked the PCs asses too hard.

Jimbo – (Champions) Shapeshifting alien blob/robotic interstallar probe whose memory was erased and became a super-hero in an alternate America where the Nazis won WWII. The campaign didn’t last (or I didn’t last in the campaign, I forget which), but I liked the concept and reused it several times.

Kree – (D&D home-brew) Probably the best character I ever rolled up in my friend Mac’s strict 3d6 in order D&D home-brew, a fighter with 18 STR, 17 CHA, and nothing else below average. She even got to 4th level (which is a lot in that campaign) before semi-retiring.

Questions:

Bubba Bo-Bob invites Terra-Man and Fred to dinner at their house. What happens?
Terra-Man and Fred show up, only to find that Bubba expected them to bring the food. They all go out for pizza instead.

Jimbo tries to get Helena to go to a strip club. How?
He points out that it’s something the family might be interested in investing in, and besides, he saw her ne’er-do-well nephew (Doug’s character) go in there, where he’s no doubt getting into all kinds of trouble.

You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Who do you choose, Nike or Bel?
Bel, since while neither would be likely to refuse, I wouldn’t have to listen to Nike praising Feet and Legs all night.

Bubba Bo-Bob jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue, Kree, Berken or Hugh Cardiff?
Leaving aside that I can probably kick Bubba’s ass, Kree and Berken are equally likely to want to help, but Kree is less busy.

Nike decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what is happening?
She is trying to explain to the rest of the inhabitants of her medieval setting what a “cooking show” is, and why they’d want to watch it.

Terra-Man has to marry either Fred, Bubba Bo-Bob or Jimbo. Whom do they choose?
I guess Jimbo could appear to be female.

Hugh kidnaps Berken and demands something from Helena d’Medici for Berken’s release. What is it?
An Eldar Rifle? There’s not much that Helena is in a position to give that Hugh would be interested in, even if he could somehow capture and hold Berken.

Everyone gangs up on Terra-Man, does Terra-Man have a chance in hell?
Terra-Man might not even notice, if it weren’t for Berken. It would turn into the classic Brick vs. Energy Projector fight, but my money would be on Terra-Man, just because what Champions thinks of as powerful isn’t really on the same scale as even home-brew epic level D&D.

Everyone is invited to Berken and Kree’s wedding, except for Fred. How do they react?
Are you kidding? Fred is hosting the wedding.

Why is Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 8 9. Ha ha ha. Bel might be afraid of Fred, even though he’s probably the most harmless of the lot, because of what his technology would represent if it got into the wrong hands.

Nike arrives late for Berken and Kree’s wedding. What happens and why were they late?
Nike would be mortified, since her schtick is the ability to run as fast as a cheetah without ever tiring, but she probably had the excuse that she had to stop and help somebody in trouble, or perhaps was stuck in a dungeon, teleported there courtesy of B.A.F.E.E. (Better Adventurers For the Eradication of Evil… an actual NPC organization in Mac’s game).

Helena d’Medici and Jimbo get roaring drunk and end up in your house. What happens?
Jimbo forms a couch, and Helena goes to sleep on him, while muttering darkly about what she’s going to do to that nephew who slipped her a Mickey.

Jimbo murders Berken’s best friend. What does Berken do to get back at them?
Since Jimbo’s also a Champions character, Berken might not be able to take him out directly, so he’ll probably resort to the old Gem of Imprisonment trick.

Bel and Nike are in mortal danger, only one of them can survive. Does Bel save herself or Nike?
Bel saves Nike, without a moment of hesitation.

Berken and Terra-Man go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?
Terra-Man volunteers to use his ability to talk to burrowing creatures to get them to fetch food, but Berken decides that rather than subsisting on roots and grubs, he’ll use his flying carpet to get something from the nearest town.

For the questions in the original form, suitable for copying into your own blog, look below

Four invites Three and Eight to dinner at their house. What happens?

Nine tries to get Five to go to a strip club. How?

You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Who do you choose, One or Six?

Three falls in love with Six, Eight is jealous. What happens?

Four jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue, Ten, Two or Seven?

One decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what is happening?

Three has to marry either Eight, Four or Nine. Whom do they choose?

Seven kidnaps Two and demands something from Five for Two’s release. What is it?

Everyone gangs up on Three, does Three have a chance in hell?

Everyone is invited to Two and Ten’s wedding, except for Eight. How do they react?

Why is Six afraid of Seven?

One arrives late for Two and Ten’s wedding. What happens and why were they late?

Five and Nine get roaring drunk and end up in your house. What happens?

Nine murders Two’s best friend. What does Two do to get back at them?

Six and One are in mortal danger, only one of them can survive. Does Six save herself or One?

Two and Three go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

One incident that I have fond memories of is this: Terra-Man had some odd team-mates. The Professor was a robot with machine control and communication powers and a quirky sense of humor. For instance he told everybody he preferred the term “Metallo-American”, and he passed out business cards with his name and the number 3. When asked, he explained it was his phone number… he “got in early.” Powered Armor Guy (I can’t remember if that was his actual name) was the room-mate of the GM and a power-gamer who crocked his character to the limit, who lived for the long drawn-out combats. The rest of the time he wasn’t much use; for instance, his suit had a stealth mode, but when he turned it on loudspeakers blared “STEALTH MODE ACTIVATED!” I’m not sure whether he was being funny or it was part of some twink limitation he put in to make it cheaper. There were a couple of other players, but I can’t actually remember their characters…I think a Speedster/Martial Artist and an Energy Projector of some stripe.
So, one day, the Professor was kidnapped, and the kidnappers left a video ransom note demanding the team perform some task for them. While the rest of the team starts discussing whether to play along and hatching plans for tracking down the bad-guys.
While they’re doing this, Terra-Man simply goes over to the nearest phone and punches “3”. When the GM stopped laughing, he ruled that it worked….

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