Just a millennial trying to navigate adulting, mental health, and beauty as authentically as possible

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31 Days of Gratitude| August 12th – 20th

So I haven’t done these in a few days, whoops. As I said on Instagram (you should check mine out if you haven’t – if you want), there really isn’t an excuse as to why I haven’t posted, just need to get used to this new schedule is all. I think I’m going to go back to posting once or twice a week, even for these. I wanted to make these as “in the moment” as possible, but realistically, ya girl isn’t sitting around after winding down from being up since 4:30 AM to do these. Once or twice a week, but no more. Self-preservation.

To make up for the gap in posts though, I am including 31 DOG from the weekend that I missed, plus all the ones up until this Sunday. That should keep this whole thing moving, right?

With the opening of a new month and new opportunity, I want to bring something a little different to this little site of mine. I read a great post from nellytherebel.blog via a Facebook group I am in (shoutout to y’all!), which was titled: “66 Days of Gratitude: Make Gratitude a Habit.” I read it and thought, “this is great.”

1. It provides a simple way to think about the little things. As I’ve beat down on many times on here: I experience major depression and anxiety. Thankfully the depression is in a ‘trough’ right now, but anxiety is still a b*tch. This forces me to think about things that I love daily for at least a little bit.

2. I’ve said time and time again here that I want to be more consistent. This is another way to create content that is authentic and meaningful, while remaining consistent.

With all of that being said, I would like to adapt Nelly’s 66 days to 31….one post for every day this month.

Day 12: Which difficult situation are you most grateful for?

I can’t pinpoint any one particular situation, but if I had to generalize, I would say college (particularly the period of sophomore to senior year). It’s really funny to me, because I remember being so eager to get out of high school, go somewhere where no one from my school went, and just thrive. BOY WAS I WRONG.

First off, I don’t know why I thought I was poppin enough in the first place to think I needed to “get away.” No one knew my ass lol. People barely recognize me now back home! I tried to make the most of my college experience given certain circumstances, but being there wasn’t built on good foundations in the first place. I wasn’t particularly thrilled about going to this school, and I also didn’t research it as much as I should have as far as things like surrounding. Had I considered that more strongly, I probably would have avoided this place with a mile long stick. I’m from downstate NY where it’s relatively easy to get anywhere walking or by public transit. Upstate is a whole different monster, and I wasn’t (and still am not ready to tackle that).

Without turning this section into a completely different post, why I am grateful for the tumultuous ride that was college? It forced me to deal with myself. I’ve stated on here many times before that I experience anxiety and depression. This place amplified that to the max. This, was exacerbated by social conflicts, annoyances with men, and more. Basically, since I was stuck there for the most part, I had no choice but to seek help. Luckily, I found an amazing counselor who I trusted and was able to help me begin to learn ways how to heal. I am still not 100% there by any means, but I am trying. I look at where I am now and where I was 4 years ago, and can’t help but feel a sense of pride (even if it is very small).

I have not always been the best person, but I have always tried my best to be my best if that makes sense. Now, I try even harder each and every day.

Day 13: What are you most grateful for that money can’t buy?

Is anything really free? Lol.

I would have to say sleep. There’s something so satisfying about being able to close your eyes after a full day of whatever you’re doing (or not doing, that’s alright too). I appreciate sleep a lot especially during periods where I can’t get any.

Day 14: Which day are you most grateful for in these past two weeks?

Getting computer access at work! Not even kidding. I get anxious about starting new things, and like to kind of dive into things and do them in order to feel more comfortable. Prior to receiving access, I was only able to complete about .5% of my job duties since the rest of them were contingent on me having network access and an email. Now that I have that, I feel so much more well rounded, and like I actually belong there. Of course there are more things I have to learn now, but I can actually learn them now.

It seems like all of the best days of the year are jam packed in those months, so it only seems appropriate. Fall is also an equinox season, right? Balance is always a great thing. Plus, I love all of the earthy colors, the crispness of the air, apples, pumpkin, warm drinks….it’s a great time.

Day 15: Which opportunity are you most grateful for?

I’ve been thinking about this for about 30 minutes now. Might have to come back to this? One opportunity? Any? Not sure….

Day 16: Which friend are you most grateful for?

Also not sure, each brings something different that I appreciate. I can’t choose one.

Day 17: Which trait in your heritage are you most grateful for?

I’m not as in tune with my family’s Jamaican roots as I’d like to be, so I don’t think there’s anything I can accurately pick out.

Day 18: Which memory are you most grateful for?

Probably one Saturday when I was about 7 or so. I visited my dad on the weekends, and we are both similar in that we create routines. So, we would make a routine of driving from where he lived at the time in my city the local route all the way to a mall in another city about 40 minutes away. This one particular Saturday though, we decided to follow an ice cream truck to a park, and during the drive of our routine, we pointed out weird things. I wrote them all down in a list on a piece of paper, so we would just point things out as we saw them and I would transcribe.

Everything on the list probably wasn’t even weird, but it’s just doing little things like that with my dad that I enjoyed. My parents did lots of little fun things with me when I was little, and I really appreciate them for it.

Day 19: Which color are you most grateful for?

You would think green if you follow my social media. I do like the color green a lot because it’s tranquil to me and reminds me of nature. I am not a huge “one with nature” person, but no one can deny the relaxing elements that come with just being out in the grass or around some trees. As far as being most grateful though? The answer is actually blue.

I always said my favorite color was purple when I was younger, until I started noticing I had a natural tendency to gravitate toward the color blue. There is also a sense of serenity I get from blue, but many other qualities as well. I get balance from blue, coolness, excitement…it’s a pretty awesome color.

Day 20: Which subject in school are you most grateful for?

I loved history very much, and art. I’m getting kind of sleepy now even though it’s only 6 PM, so my brain isn’t able to think of too much else to say. Sorry!

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