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Thursday, December 20, 2012

week in review: 7

what. a. week. sometimes (okay, lots of times) being a parent can be so frustrating. this last week was one of them. after some pretty painful feedings, dropping dairy and adding some zantac i am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that we tunned into marin's issues.

here is the thing, when coen was so super fussy and having so many feeding/lactose/reflux issues i felt sad for myself. selfish? yes. i was so sad and bitter that the baby i had was so fussy and miserable. people would say, "oh poor baby." and i would think, "poor him? what about me? poor poor me." i think i was actually in mourning, over the baby i had imagined i would have. you know, that happy content baby that could be passed around a room full of people and everyone would remark about what a happy and content baby i had. sigh.

this time around it is different (sorry coen). it's not because marin is a girl, or because i love her any differently. it's because i am a parent. in my journey with coen i was only becoming a parent, and that is such a raw/chaotic/joyful/hard transformation. but now it is a whole new ball game. i feel her pain to depths of my soul. i seek to solve her problems before they even begin. i have perspective now, i know that this too will pass and before i even can blink my eyes the struggle will be different and the joys will be greater. through this past week i have been reflecting on how being parent changes you, it's pretty crazy.

aside from all that we still managed to have some fun this past week. coen is such a blessing. even when i am feeling total frustration, he keeps us going. like clock work.

1 comment:

my goodness, Jenni, I can relate to this entire post! Beckett's taking zantac, no dairy for me, and still throwing up. It's very frustrating! But thank God for Addie, we still carry out our days and manage to have some joy. She puts it all in perspective that this is just a phase we have to get through. You're an amazing mama to both your babies!! Keep it up!