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No dicking around when climbing at Otter. That reminds me of the time I got my willy stuck in my zipper and the only way out was a quick and very painful rip of the zipper and lots of blood. I had no idea there was that much blood down there. Please release me, let me go. I don't love you anymore.

My dad told me a story of when he and his brother in law went fishin' in a small boat way back when. Uncle George had to take a pee in the boat, so he stood up and hung is manhood over the side and did what he had to do. Maybe because he was distracted and hurried, he got the sequence wrong and his willie was trapped in the zipper. My dad had to row the boat in, drive Uncle George to the emergency room, where they performed a YKK dick extraction.

Related story:A study on boating accidents in Ohio or someplace a few years ago found that most boating deaths were men who drowned with their pants around their ankes. They stook up to pee and lost their balance. Really it was something like 60% of the total.

end of dick stories...I will try to stick to climbing related dick stories.

Not to sound like a know it all. but a munter hitch works great when belaying /lowering from the top. Set the anchor well away from the edge and clip the munter 3 or so feet back from the edge and everything is so much easyer. Still can sit with legs dangling over the edge for visabillity. Never have to worry about ripping your dick off. I have been to otter maybe 6 times and other simillar situations and have never seen anyone else using this set up. Is everyone worried about twisted ropes? Not a problem if its 50 feet tall.Am i overlooking something?

Yea, come to think of it that was way too soon to say anything serious So how far did that shit stretch?Good thing you did'nt use double ropes.Maybee you should go commando next time.Sell your story to phizer, viva Viagra baby!Oh yeah? My dick is so long i stepped on it with crampons.

I was bouldering at Den rock in Andover one day a long time ago and had the place to myself, so I had a small radio going. Decide to take a break and turn off the radio, and hear what sounds like other climbers back around the corner on the main face. I walk over and what I see is a single white static line hanging from over the top. There is a climber about halfway up, he has an old figure 8 rappel device attached to his harness set up as if he is rappelling. But he is not rappelling. He is trying to climb up with the rope between the thumb and first finger of his right hand. He climbs up a little, then struggles to pull the slack up through the figure 8, then repeats. I shout up and ask he has any idea what he is doing? He replies that yes he knows what he is doing and that if he falls he just pulls his right hand down by his side and "puts on the brake". I convince him to come down and try to explain nicely why this is bad. I ask if he is alone, he tells me his friend is up top. I try to convince him that he and his friend should leave this for another day when they have learned the right way to do things. No luck. So, I ask if he knows how to tie in properly? "No". OK, so I show him how to tie in. Does you friend up top have another belay device? "No". Is the roped anchored up top? "I think so". Are you sure I can't convince you to go home? "No". So I say, wait here and head up top with their old figure 8 and biner. Here's what I see there.

Single white static line coming up from over the edge, not anchored to anything. No sign of any webbing, cord, any additional carabiners, nothing. Just the "friend" sitting a little back from the edge holding the static line. That's the "anchor". The "friend" has no harness on, no nothing. I ask if he plans on anchoring said static line. He says, "well ya, I sit with my feet pushed against this little rock here and hold on to the rope in case my friend falls".

OK, once again try to convince them to leave. No luck. Now, we are still the only people there so I feel like I just can't leave. So I ask if they have any other gear? "No". OK, so I show the friend how to tie the single line back to a tree. Then, tie a loop in the line and clip the old biner and eight to it. The "friend" had a vague idea of how to belay, so I make sure he understands the concept better, watch him take up the slack and head back down to the "climber". Watch him for a few minutes to make they aren't going to completely screw this up, then go get my stuff and leave.

lessons to be learned here!!At least you can think that you saved the lives of some incompetent people who may have succeeded in becoming great mountaineers.I know some really good climbers who have told me stories of climbing with clothes line ropes and no clue as to what they were doing.Hopefully they survived the learning curve.