While the lineup of events and appearances at the conference hasn't been finalized, Brown said that music and fashion will probably be big parts of the show, and that everything from the panels to the game demos on hand will have "not just gay undertones but gaming undertones."

That doesn't mean straight people won't be welcome, of course. "We hope that everybody comes to this," Brown said. "Our mission statement is 'Everybody Games.' We're not just targeting gay people. We're hoping that we get a fair number of straight people, bisexual people, transgender people. It's very important for us to feel everyone has a space at this convention." She added that she hopes women will be interested in the show, because "even moreso than men, [they] are met with a lot of hate in terms of gaming."

At the same time, Brown said she hopes that members of the LGBTQ gaming community will feel especially welcome at the conference. "It's not as if we're calling ourselves out in a way where we're stomping around and banging drums and we need to be heard," she said. "It's more about creating a safe space for LGBTQ members to come, be exactly who they are, and be gamers, and meet other like-minded people… It's not necessarily that we need some place to call our own because we want to separate ourselves and not be part of the mainstream, it's because we want people to be able to come and feel safe."

Brown compared the value of a special conference for the LGBTQ gaming sub-niche to Palm Springs' annual Dinah Shore weekend, which attracts lesbians from all over the world to meet and mingle. "There's a lot of people who live in Minnesota, in Idaho, in all of these various places who, in their daily lives, can't live the way that they want to live and do the things that they want to do and feel like they can be themselves," she said. "So something like this, in a place like San Francisco, that's very LGBT tolerant, creates a space where people can come and it's their vacation. I don't want to call it their sanctuary, but it's a place where you can just be yourself."

Ignoring the backlash

Despite the overwhelming outpouring of support from Kickstarter backers, registrants, volunteers, and the press, Brown said the GaymerCon organizers have had to deal with their fair share of hate mail and harassing comments around the Internet. The level of vitriol among some in the gaming community is somewhat shocking, she said, given that gamers often know the pain of being part of an often marginalized group themselves.

"It could go back to the bullying," Brown theorized. "With any sort of bullying, whether on the playground or at home, they sequester themselves in gaming. It sort of becomes their world. When I try to think about it and what the bigger issue is and where this is coming from, I feel like they've been met with some sort of hate in their lives and they just sort of project that back."

But despite the haters, Brown said she and her fellow organizers are inspired to continue on, thanks to stories like that of a young lesbian who used an LGBT gaming group to help drag herself out of a suicidal depression. The desire to inform and educate people about the size and scope of the gay gaming population is also a driving force inspiring the organizers to ignore the pushback, Brown said.

"We're there for a reason," she recalls telling her fellow organizers when they were getting upset about the level of opposition to their efforts. "If we want to be considered mainstream and if we want to be a part of this, we can't segregate ourselves in the way we have already. If we're in the mainstream, we're always going to have haters. There's always going to be hate mail, there will be protestors outside our convention, there will be people who picket us, throw things at us, say things to us, and my response to that is 'fuck 'em.'"

"It's going to be a hot topic for a while. It's going to be hotter because there's an awareness that we've built around it that people may or may not have paid attention to before, but you have to start somewhere for anything to get better," she continued. "All we can do is keep going forward and the hope is that it gets better."

"It wasn't so long ago that our parents were not just reading about—but actually living through—the end of segregation, and that's a non-issue now. So at some point I'd like to think that this won't be an issue in the gaming community anymore."

Kyle Orland
Kyle is the Senior Gaming Editor at Ars Technica, specializing in video game hardware and software. He has journalism and computer science degrees from University of Maryland. He is based in the Washington, DC area. Emailkyle.orland@arstechnica.com//Twitter@KyleOrl

268 Reader Comments

I'm really out of the loop. I had to look up what the Q in LGBTQ meant. Apparently it means queer, as in the original usage odd, in that it refers to people who don't necessarily identify as heterosexual nor homosexual, but are simply questioning their sexuality.

That said. Sad that this even needs to be. But I've heard the nonsense that goes on in general Live game chats. Fag and gay have become the defacto insults.

I don't understand this at all. For a group of people (that I am a part of) who supposedly want to be treated just like everybody else... it sure seems that we keep trying to segregate ourselves in every other way. I just don't get it. They're saying they want straight people to show up too, but then why not just make it a regular gaming convention that says they're gay friendly? Why all the focus? Stuff like this really bothers me, I guess. It seems very silly to me to say "we just want to be treated like normal people" while at the same time saying "look how different we are!"

I don't understand this at all. For a group of people (that I am a part of) who supposedly want to be treated just like everybody else...

Let me stop you right there. Yes, the goal is to be treated equally. But the proposed solution is to highlight the current inequality so that people can see it for what it is. Setting up a separate gaming convention is not the end-goal, it's just a way to show that the status quo is so bad that people want to change it. What you have to understand is that for forms of discrimination that are heavily institutionalized or normalized in society, it's hard for people to step back and recognize that the discrimination is even a problem. People raised in that environment and not on the receiving end of it tend to just accept it as the norm; it is literally acceptable to them because they don't see people speaking out about it.

*edit* Read more than halfway through the article and it seems that this is less about attention-getting and more about having a place where getting away from the problem is a realistic outcome. That's cool too. So this doesn't really fit the "awareness" mission I described above.

I've been a gamer for over 20 years now. After looking through the appalling behavior that's apparently commonplace on XBL via fatuglyorslutty and whywasibanned, I'm glad I abandoned consoles and regressed to my PC gamer roots. It's disgraceful.

Well, then I guess they'll be fine with people arranging straight cons.

You mean like 100% of every other gaming convention.

Honestly. I'd love for all the folks that get so incensed at people, who typically represent a minority of the population and often suffer insane amounts of bigotry and hatred, that simply want a place to feel safe for a change to actually think for once (I know that's a stretch for some) in their lives about how that must feel.

I don't understand this at all. For a group of people (that I am a part of) who supposedly want to be treated just like everybody else...

Let me stop you right there. Yes, the goal is to be treated equally. But the proposed solution is to highlight the current inequality so that people can see it for what it is. Setting up a separate gaming convention is not the end-goal, it's just a way to show that the status quo is so bad that people want to change it. What you have to understand is that for forms of discrimination that are heavily institutionalized or normalized in society, it's hard for people to step back and recognize that the discrimination is even a problem. People raised in that environment and not on the receiving end of it tend to just accept it as the norm; it is literally acceptable to them because they don't see people speaking out about it.

I've been gaming since I can remember (26 now) and I've been gay since... well, since I can remember. I have never had any problem being discriminated against, made to feel lesser, etc.

Sure, you hear people saying "gay" and "fag" all the time. That's because people are dicks, not because there is something wrong with gaming culture. It just gives me that much more satisfaction to taunt them afterwards and let them know that I AM gay and they just got their asses handed to them by a "fag". Shuts them up pretty damn quickly. I find it hard to believe that anyone feels threatened or lesser based on random insults people throw around online. Have you ever seen the comments on pretty much any YouTube video ever? It has nothing to do with the attitude of gaming culture (although I do find booth babes kind of annoying... where's some hot guys in speedos for me to look at when I'm at gaming conventions?) and everything to do with culture in general.

Brown said the GaymerCon organizers have had to deal with their fair share of hate mail and harassing comments around the Internet. The level of vitriol among some in the gaming community is somewhat shocking

"to unexpected homophobic tirades from Blizzcon musical acts" -Author .....that's kind of misleading and almost inaccurate. Musical guest instead of acts would more accurately describe that link and reference. The band which is made of up Blizzard employees did nothing of the such (i'll watch it a 3rd time to make sure). Corpsegrinder is passionate about the horde. I don't feel he was being homophobic so much as trash talking to those who are alliance.

So what *are* we supposed to say? Moma's Boy is too long. Pantywaste is redundant on "gay". So, what, "milquetoast"?

I use "fag" to mean "effeminate male". In fact, it's really not that, it's simply a statement about that person's inability to play the game in question. There is no implication of "gay" involved. I understand, fully, that other people don't use it the same way and that it is an emotionally charged term. As a result, I have had to stop using it.

But I want it back. Or something like it. Three letters, rolls smoothly off the tongue, suitable denigration of your piss-poor gamer skills, universally understood.

Well, then I guess they'll be fine with people arranging straight cons.

You mean like 100% of every other gaming convention.

Honestly. I'd love for all the folks that get so incensed at people, who typically represent a minority of the population and often suffer insane amounts of bigotry and hatred, that simply want a place to feel safe for a change to actually think for once (I know that's a stretch for some) in their lives about how that must feel.

Note that the article states all are welcome.

Shouldn't you find at least a single person that cares before you can justify getting all worked up?

So what *are* we supposed to say? Moma's Boy is too long. Pantywaste is redundant on "gay". So, what, "milquetoast"?

I use "fag" to mean "effeminate male". In fact, it's really not that, it's simply a statement about that person's inability to play the game in question. There is no implication of "gay" involved. I understand, fully, that other people don't use it the same way and that it is an emotionally charged term. As a result, I have had to stop using it.

But I want it back. Or something like it. Three letters, rolls smoothly off the tongue, suitable denigration of your piss-poor gamer skills, universally understood.

I'm open to suggestions.

Asshat. Asshat works, and since I don't know of any group of people who walk around with a human ass on the top of their heads, you shouldn't offend anyone.

i'd argue that people belting out "homophobic slurs" in halo aren't thinking about homosexuality at all, they're simply grabbing the most offensive words their anger-soaked brain can locate. most of them, anyways.

in other news, no one gets on top of a mountain and yells "i'm straight" (causing startled silence, slack jaws, and the sound of glass breaking as someone drops their wine glass in shock). focus should be on letting people live their lives how they want, not creating some hermetic buffer zone for "different" people.

So what *are* we supposed to say? Moma's Boy is too long. Pantywaste is redundant on "gay". So, what, "milquetoast"?

I use "fag" to mean "effeminate male". In fact, it's really not that, it's simply a statement about that person's inability to play the game in question. There is no implication of "gay" involved. I understand, fully, that other people don't use it the same way and that it is an emotionally charged term. As a result, I have had to stop using it.

But I want it back. Or something like it. Three letters, rolls smoothly off the tongue, suitable denigration of your piss-poor gamer skills, universally understood.

I'm open to suggestions.

Oh poor you. You can't use bigotry to denigrate other people on-line. Boo-hoo, cry me a river.

Sure, you hear people saying "gay" and "fag" all the time. That's because people are dicks, not because there is something wrong with gaming culture. It just gives me that much more satisfaction to taunt them afterwards and let them know that I AM gay and they just got their asses handed to them by a "fag". Shuts them up pretty damn quickly.

Pretty Awesome.

I understand when someone pays for a service or product that they shouldn't have to be subject to certain things that they may find offensive, but seriously look at how kids ages 8-16 act today not when we were that age and are you truly surprised you hear those words regularly? Go to a playground or park and listen for 5 mins...the kids playing basketball or football etc talk them same.

I'm really out of the loop. I had to look up what the Q in LGBTQ meant. Apparently it means queer, as in the original usage odd, in that it refers to people who don't necessarily identify as heterosexual nor homosexual, but are simply questioning their sexuality.

That said. Sad that this even needs to be. But I've heard the nonsense that goes on in general Live game chats. Fag and gay have become the defacto insults.

Actually I'm pretty sure it means Questioning, as in people who are currently unsure as to the ultimate bounds of their sexuality.

So what *are* we supposed to say? Moma's Boy is too long. Pantywaste is redundant on "gay". So, what, "milquetoast"?

I use "fag" to mean "effeminate male". In fact, it's really not that, it's simply a statement about that person's inability to play the game in question. There is no implication of "gay" involved. I understand, fully, that other people don't use it the same way and that it is an emotionally charged term. As a result, I have had to stop using it.

But I want it back. Or something like it. Three letters, rolls smoothly off the tongue, suitable denigration of your piss-poor gamer skills, universally understood.

I'm open to suggestions.

I would imagine "ego" would fit nicely. Insulting other players essentially elevating yourself, so instead of talking down to them, talk yourself up in the way you really are doing. The alternative is for people to actually be humble and realize that being amazing in a game is no more amazing than any other gift we are given. That person you owned can likely own you in something else. In other news, "pwnt" has been used for years and is equally effective. Hopefully the extra letter is not too much.

Well, then I guess they'll be fine with people arranging straight cons.

You mean like 100% of every other gaming convention.

Honestly. I'd love for all the folks that get so incensed at people, who typically represent a minority of the population and often suffer insane amounts of bigotry and hatred, that simply want a place to feel safe for a change to actually think for once (I know that's a stretch for some) in their lives about how that must feel.

Note that the article states all are welcome.

Shouldn't you find at least a single person that cares before you can justify getting all worked up?

It is a bit sad that I've seen and heard enough intolerance in online gaming (XBL I'm looking at you) that this sounds like a good thing. At the same time, while I'm not homophobic I'm also not likely to preferentially choose to play on a LGBT-labeled network. I will, however, wish them well.

Asshat. Asshat works, and since I don't know of any group of people who walk around with a human ass on the top of their heads, you shouldn't offend anyone.

Yeah... but a little long, although "ass" alone is easier to type. But as I read it, being an ass/asshat isn't the same as being owned. Asshat is related to behaviour, closer to "griefer" than "lamer". Is that not the common interpretation?

Now "own" also has its uses. But being owned implies something too temporal. Owning someone has no implication of being owned again. The feeling that needs to be expressed is "I expect permanent future ownage due to your hopeless inability".

So what *are* we supposed to say? Moma's Boy is too long. Pantywaste is redundant on "gay". So, what, "milquetoast"?

I use "fag" to mean "effeminate male". In fact, it's really not that, it's simply a statement about that person's inability to play the game in question. There is no implication of "gay" involved. I understand, fully, that other people don't use it the same way and that it is an emotionally charged term. As a result, I have had to stop using it.

But I want it back. Or something like it. Three letters, rolls smoothly off the tongue, suitable denigration of your piss-poor gamer skills, universally understood.

I'm open to suggestions.

What a steaming pile of complete bullshit. We all know what fag and gay means. You aren't a special little flower with your own personal meaning. Stop using it. There are plenty of other perfectly good words to tell someone they play like shit without shitting on everyone else who reads it.

I can't say that I feel this is necessary. The gaming community is probably one of the most progressive and liberal groups of people out there. Yeah, people talk shit in Call of Duty, but they are intentionally trying to be offensive. There are always bullies (especially in anonymous communication forums like most online games) but if you ever really get involved with the real COMMUNITY around gaming, they could really give a shit less if you're gay, straight, transgender or a cat (that's a lie; they fucking love cats.) All that matters is that you like gaming.

I mean, come on; how could a bunch of straight guys walk around a convention dressed as Sailor Moon with 50,000 other people around to see them if they were the least bit homophobic? Hell, I don't see how you could even attend some of these conventions if you're homophobic.

And one of the best things about gaming is that it's apolitical. It doesn't matter your views on ANYTHING outside gaming; as long as you like games, you're welcome. While well-intentioned, I feel that any attempt to marry outside issues and gaming really just reduces the power of gaming: it's an escape from the troubles of the world for EVERYONE.

Well, then I guess they'll be fine with people arranging straight cons.

You mean like 100% of every other gaming convention.

Honestly. I'd love for all the folks that get so incensed at people, who typically represent a minority of the population and often suffer insane amounts of bigotry and hatred, that simply want a place to feel safe for a change to actually think for once (I know that's a stretch for some) in their lives about how that must feel.

Note that the article states all are welcome.

Shouldn't you find at least a single person that cares before you can justify getting all worked up?

So what *are* we supposed to say? Moma's Boy is too long. Pantywaste is redundant on "gay". So, what, "milquetoast"?

I use "fag" to mean "effeminate male". In fact, it's really not that, it's simply a statement about that person's inability to play the game in question. There is no implication of "gay" involved. I understand, fully, that other people don't use it the same way and that it is an emotionally charged term. As a result, I have had to stop using it.

But I want it back. Or something like it. Three letters, rolls smoothly off the tongue, suitable denigration of your piss-poor gamer skills, universally understood.

I'm open to suggestions.

What a steaming pile of complete bullshit. We all know what fag and gay means. You aren't a special little flower with your own personal meaning. Stop using it. There are plenty of other perfectly good words to tell someone they play like shit without shitting on everyone else who reads it.

This is so much PC BS it makes my head hurt. I am going to stop reading this thread.

In games where many 12 year old's play, there's often a true barrage of "fag" and "gay". Their vocabulary seems mostly restricted to just these two words (in rare cases they may upgrade to full 4-letter-words). I'm not about to be offended by that.

And one of the best things about gaming is that it's apolitical. It doesn't matter your views on ANYTHING outside gaming; as long as you like games, you're welcome. While well-intentioned, I feel that any attempt to marry outside issues and gaming really just reduces the power of gaming: it's an escape from the troubles of the world for EVERYONE.

I think the point they're making is that gaming can't even be an escape for them anymore, people bring it into their games.

And one of the best things about gaming is that it's apolitical. It doesn't matter your views on ANYTHING outside gaming; as long as you like games, you're welcome. While well-intentioned, I feel that any attempt to marry outside issues and gaming really just reduces the power of gaming: it's an escape from the troubles of the world for EVERYONE.

I think the point they're making is that gaming can't even be an escape for them anymore, people bring it into their games.

Anymore? When was this ever NOT the case? Aside from the obvious "before text/audio chat between players"

Sure, you hear people saying "gay" and "fag" all the time. That's because people are dicks, not because there is something wrong with gaming culture. It just gives me that much more satisfaction to taunt them afterwards and let them know that I AM gay and they just got their asses handed to them by a "fag". Shuts them up pretty damn quickly. I find it hard to believe that anyone feels threatened or lesser based on random insults people throw around online. Have you ever seen the comments on pretty much any YouTube video ever? It has nothing to do with the attitude of gaming culture (although I do find booth babes kind of annoying... where's some hot guys in speedos for me to look at when I'm at gaming conventions?) and everything to do with culture in general.

Heh, that reminds me of an old co-worker I had... he would always bust everyone's chops (all in good fun, of course) but one time he made a comment to the new guy about how his facial hair would be great at collecting semen. The new guy had a good sense of humor about it, so he just smiled and went back to work. But he also made sure to casually drop comments about his boyfriend into conversation with the rest of us, and the older co-worker found out by the end of the day and felt really shitty about it.

I realize that the casual acceptance of those kind of jokes is part of the problem.. but that's a societal issue that will gradually disappear as overall attitudes change. It's not considered appropriate to tell racist jokes anymore outside of known-racist company, but it's taken a while.