Monday, November 16, 2009

For those of you who read a blog, but perhaps don't write one yourself, you may not know that we bloggers keep statistics on our sites. We know the geographic areas, if not the cities, people are visiting from, we know how long you stayed on our site, and we can see the pages you visited as well as if you clicked out of our site and onto another. Now, I suppose this is highly useful information if you are using your blog for business or if you have lots of readers and want to figure out exactly who your audience is and what they like reading most about. When I look at this information, I see a handful of readers (thank you, by the way, for reading here and finding anything I have to say even remotely entertaining) some who I know and some I don't. And when I check which posts have received the most hits, it's either some of my "project" posts that I've linked with other blogs, or it's posts about my dog. Apparently people like to see some of the things I've made, but they LOVE that my dog makes me look stupid. If I can make you feel a little better about yourself through my mishaps with my dumb dog, well, that's good! What can I say? I aim to please.

One of the other little bits of information that I am able to get is how you, the reader got to my site. Sometimes you get here directly, because you have my URL and you either type it in or--God bless you, you have it bookmarked. Sometimes, you link through via Facebook, which means you know me and have seen snippets of my posts there and come here to read more. Sometimes my mother has twisted your arm told you about my site in a link through email. Occasionally, someone will find me through another site where I have linked a project or written a comment. But to me, the most interesting way that people find me is through an Internet search.

Now, usually, these people are NOT looking for my blog. Most commonly, people are searching for the lyrics to "Que Sera, Sera" and they have no earthly clue how to spell "Que Sera, Sera." They want to know what those words mean. They want to know what the lyrics are. They want to know who sang it. And usually, they have spelled some variations of "que sa ra sa ra." Sometimes the spellings are unique, to say the least. I have seen:

But lately some of the search words have had me laughing. I'm quite sure that when people type in their search words and wind up on the blogging site of a middle aged, suburban mother who divorces her dog and rants about her crazy neighbors and shows pictures of random decorating projects that they are scratching their heads and wondering what exactly they typed. Now, I know that it's because of my titles or content and it's how search engines work that drive this stuff, but still, it does seem kind of random.

For instance, recently someone found my site using the search words "make a bubble blowerwith a plastic hose" and they wound up on the page from this summer where the kids and I made bubble blowers using plastic bottles. And several people have used the search words "what to do with leftover cocktail napkins." My thinking is that they are looking for a project. At least that's what I'm hoping, because lets face it, if you are asking Google to help you micromanage your cocktail napkin inventory, then you may have bigger issues than my little blog can help you with.

Some other recent searches that have led people here:

Sketchers "falling apart"-- could be a query about mentally fragile artists losing their marbles, but more likely it's someone who's had the same issues that I have with those shoes and they are winding up at the post where I talk about how I will NEVER buy Sketchers again because they fall apart. Do you hear me, Sketchers? Your shoes cost a pretty penny and they SUCK!! There. I said it. Come and get me Sketchers, I ain't skeerd. (Heh. Bet I lost any chance of them wanting to advertise on my oh so popular blog....)

Lyrics "stick a fork in me i'm done"--Huh. Never heard this song before, but it has country music hit written all over it! Someone should alert Kenny Chesney or Carrie Underwood that their next platinum record is just waiting to be written.

If you got a lot of booty--well, my advice would be cut back on the Snickers, put down the remote, and buy "curvy" jeans. Or on the flip side, my advice would be "Flaunt it!" Or perhaps it's a pirate wondering who to pillage next. Or it could be someone who winds up here and is looking for, um, how shall we say, a different type of site and then is wildly disappointed when they find out that they will see none of that here.

But my personal favorite search lately is this one:

Got lysol in my ear--Ummm...and how exactly did you manage that? I thought that how to spray that stuff was pretty easily done and not so much rocket science. Apparently not. And then, you have to Google what to do next? Methinks that perhaps someone over-chlorinated that gene pool.

And now I can't wait to see what searches bring people to this page. If I get one for "overchlorinated gene pool," I'll let you know.

For those of you who read a blog, but perhaps don't write one yourself, you may not know that we bloggers keep statistics on our sites. We know the geographic areas, if not the cities, people are visiting from, we know how long you stayed on our site, and we can see the pages you visited as well as if you clicked out of our site and onto another. Now, I suppose this is highly useful information if you are using your blog for business or if you have lots of readers and want to figure out exactly who your audience is and what they like reading most about. When I look at this information, I see a handful of readers (thank you, by the way, for reading here and finding anything I have to say even remotely entertaining) some who I know and some I don't. And when I check which posts have received the most hits, it's either some of my "project" posts that I've linked with other blogs, or it's posts about my dog. Apparently people like to see some of the things I've made, but they LOVE that my dog makes me look stupid. If I can make you feel a little better about yourself through my mishaps with my dumb dog, well, that's good! What can I say? I aim to please.

One of the other little bits of information that I am able to get is how you, the reader got to my site. Sometimes you get here directly, because you have my URL and you either type it in or--God bless you, you have it bookmarked. Sometimes, you link through via Facebook, which means you know me and have seen snippets of my posts there and come here to read more. Sometimes my mother has twisted your arm told you about my site in a link through email. Occasionally, someone will find me through another site where I have linked a project or written a comment. But to me, the most interesting way that people find me is through an Internet search.

Now, usually, these people are NOT looking for my blog. Most commonly, people are searching for the lyrics to "Que Sera, Sera" and they have no earthly clue how to spell "Que Sera, Sera." They want to know what those words mean. They want to know what the lyrics are. They want to know who sang it. And usually, they have spelled some variations of "que sa ra sa ra." Sometimes the spellings are unique, to say the least. I have seen:

But lately some of the search words have had me laughing. I'm quite sure that when people type in their search words and wind up on the blogging site of a middle aged, suburban mother who divorces her dog and rants about her crazy neighbors and shows pictures of random decorating projects that they are scratching their heads and wondering what exactly they typed. Now, I know that it's because of my titles or content and it's how search engines work that drive this stuff, but still, it does seem kind of random.

For instance, recently someone found my site using the search words "make a bubble blowerwith a plastic hose" and they wound up on the page from this summer where the kids and I made bubble blowers using plastic bottles. And several people have used the search words "what to do with leftover cocktail napkins." My thinking is that they are looking for a project. At least that's what I'm hoping, because lets face it, if you are asking Google to help you micromanage your cocktail napkin inventory, then you may have bigger issues than my little blog can help you with.

Some other recent searches that have led people here:

Sketchers "falling apart"-- could be a query about mentally fragile artists losing their marbles, but more likely it's someone who's had the same issues that I have with those shoes and they are winding up at the post where I talk about how I will NEVER buy Sketchers again because they fall apart. Do you hear me, Sketchers? Your shoes cost a pretty penny and they SUCK!! There. I said it. Come and get me Sketchers, I ain't skeerd. (Heh. Bet I lost any chance of them wanting to advertise on my oh so popular blog....)

Lyrics "stick a fork in me i'm done"--Huh. Never heard this song before, but it has country music hit written all over it! Someone should alert Kenny Chesney or Carrie Underwood that their next platinum record is just waiting to be written.

If you got a lot of booty--well, my advice would be cut back on the Snickers, put down the remote, and buy "curvy" jeans. Or on the flip side, my advice would be "Flaunt it!" Or perhaps it's a pirate wondering who to pillage next. Or it could be someone who winds up here and is looking for, um, how shall we say, a different type of site and then is wildly disappointed when they find out that they will see none of that here.

But my personal favorite search lately is this one:

Got lysol in my ear--Ummm...and how exactly did you manage that? I thought that how to spray that stuff was pretty easily done and not so much rocket science. Apparently not. And then, you have to Google what to do next? Methinks that perhaps someone over-chlorinated that gene pool.

And now I can't wait to see what searches bring people to this page. If I get one for "overchlorinated gene pool," I'll let you know.

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About Me

I am a mother of four. I write. I take pictures. I rant about the latest thing my dog has done. Usually she is successful in making me look supremely stupid. Sometimes I get inspired and take on a decorating project or two. And this is the place I document my victories and foibles. I think if you visit here often, you'll leave feeling better than when you came. Only because my failures far outpace my victories. You're welcome! I'm generous like that.