Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It's time

You know what's funny? Since my last blog post, I really thought this blog was essentially dead. I mean do people still read blogs? It doesn't matter... this is more for me than anyone else. Between my last post and now, I've done a lot...

1) Went home to Japan in October for a visit2) Went to the Outback Bowl3) Went to the AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh4) Went to Lucko/LJ wedding in Jersey5) Went to the Superbowl in Dallas

And yet none of these made me think/want to post here until today but I want today to be memorialized...

I'm gonna have to put down Tivo, my cat. He's 18 and he's been a trooper. He's had a kidney disease which actually got better after changing his diet and giving him medication. His heart murmur was under control also in large part due to medication and quite frankly, he was unbelievably spunky for an 18+ yr old cat (not sure of his exact age as he was a stray when I first got him).

But now, it's clear his time is near. After I got back from Dallas this weekend, he seemed to be eating less and less. This morning, since he really wanted no part of his food or the treats, I decided that it might be time so I took him to the vet. I just got a call saying that his kidney worsened, his white blood cell count is up (ie, fighting an infection somewhere), and based on the vet feeling his abdomen, something is not right with his liver/stomach. He's nauseous right now and basically, the diagnosis is that he needs more fluid for his kidney but his weak heart may not be able to handle the amount of liquid needed to keep his kidneys well.

I was ready for this but like the death of any family member, you're never really ready.

Tivo and I shared a lot...

He was with me in this past decade where a lot had happened:1) bought my first house2) bought my second house3) got married4) got divorced5) moved to FL

All these years, he had feline HIV also... basically, he was defying all odds and even my vet back in VA was surprised that he was doing so well when I was moving from VA to FL. But eventually, all good things come to an end.

I still remember the day he was welcomed to my household. My gf at the time had a huge part in this. But everytime I walked out the door, he would come out from behind the bushes as if to greet me. Everytime I pulled in to the driveway, he would once again come out from behind the bushes. He looked like shit at the time so we decided to feed him... we set up flyers all around to see if he belonged to anyone but no one claimed him so we decided to take him to the vet where they gave him all the shots and medication to rid him of the worms/infection, etc that he had at the time. Based on I don't know what, the vet determined that he must be 8-9 yrs old at that time.

He and I were like one. He's dirty, he acts like he doesn't give a shit, but he's always by my side (or more like by my feet - I stepped on his tail countless times). He required so much medical/special diet attention but it was never a burden... While most guys feel a bond with their dogs, it was like that with Tivo. Hell, I even had him on a leash one time when going to the vet cuz he'll walk when I tell him to.

But at this point, I just don't want him to suffer. We can administer treatment but it might not make him better and considering his age, it would be prolonging the inevitable. I don't want to lose him but even more than that, I don't want him to suffer or be in pain.

So, thanks for all the great memories Tivo but I'm gonna have to pull the plug. This might be the worst week ever.

13 comments:

I've had a couple of coworkers who have had to make similar decisions recently, and as a cat owner myself, it saddens me just to think I'll have to make the same choice myself one day. I can totally understand everything you're feeling right now and wish you the best to get through this.

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