This thread is discontinued. I will not update it with new conversations (though I did write a non-romantic one for Lucario/Natane...oh well.) Must have come off as a real weeaboo.

But I'm not giving up --- oh no. I will come back with something better and more down-to-earth that does not sound like a bad fanfic (and is original!) Just give me a little time.

Okay, here's the deal. I got done studying a book of Japanese grammar, and thought I'd try my hand at some writing.

Because my writing skills are truly subpar, I decided to write short little "support conversations" between fictional characters. I will try to post consistently --- that is, weekly. (No I won't.) Please make the necessary corrections to make the speech seem more natural.

Without further ado, our first conversation:

Akagi (赤木、アカギ) and Natane (菜種、ナタネ) --- C-Rank Support

BACKGROUND (if you can call it that):Akagi and Natane are part of an army that is invading the continent of Tellius, which had mysteriously teleported into their world. Natane, because of her lower-class status compared to the samurai Akagi, uses ultra-polite speech. The invading army has a level of technology equal to that of the Naruto universe, and Akagi is an emotionless bastard.

赤木： ①菜種： ②Ｃ級の支援

②： こんにちは、・・・ええと・・・

①： 何が欲しい、女の奴?!

②： すみません！ あたしは、あなたと喋りたいだけ！ 神種村の菜種でございます。 よろしくお願いします。

①： 猫箇原藩の大名、赤木。

②： ・・・ 昨日の戦によくお戦いになりました－

①： なんで私を困られているかい?! 大した事をしに行け、例えば服を洗ったり、御飯を準備したりする。

②： ・・・はい。 だけど、喋りたいなら、私がいつもここにいます。

①： ・・・

Last edited by Bulgar on Thu 05.22.2008 7:45 am, edited 4 times in total.

becki_kanou wrote:No offense meant, but I think you might get a better response and more people willing to help correct your Japanese if you made your situations a little bit more down to earth. :?

仰る通りでございます.

I was reading the initial post quite earnestly until I reached:

Akagi and Natane are part of an army that is invading the continent of Tellius, which had mysteriously teleported into their world. Natane, because of her lower-class status compared to the samurai Akagi, uses ultra-polite speech. The invading army has a level of technology equal to that of the Naruto universe, and Akagi is an emotionless bastard.

I think it's not so much that the setting was fantasy (look at richvh's yuki no monogatari, after all) but that the conversation style is taken from a particular video game series (Fire Emblem) and if you haven't played it, it's a little hard to understand exactly what's going on.

It's also a little hard to criticize much of the dialogue because the characters are fictional, and thus a much wider range of variation is allowed for speech.

Yudan Taiteki wrote:I think it's not so much that the setting was fantasy (look at richvh's yuki no monogatari, after all) but that the conversation style is taken from a particular video game series (Fire Emblem) and if you haven't played it, it's a little hard to understand exactly what's going on.

It's also a little hard to criticize much of the dialogue because the characters are fictional, and thus a much wider range of variation is allowed for speech.