A 26-year old Warlem almost-hipster navigates the rocky roads of her smokin' hot life. This includes post-college ennui, the tipping balance between emotional withdrawal and frightening investment, the 1 train, 10-dollar bottles of "drinkable" Pinot Grigio and the gaping holes in her Chuck Taylors. She'd like to lie more often than she does, because honesty is a real bitch.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

auto-alternatively fueled fun of these days 10-16-2008

This is a group shot by stacie joy from the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar, which you should buy. I am the trannie in the back, channeling Tinkerbell in my Dolly Parton wig. Also! There's Sugarbutch, who's only photographed from behind on her blog as y'all know from when I was lightly flogging her in the lesbian blog contest and possibly also [talking about how i was gonna] make her take me on a date so I could see her from the front. Other ladies in the shoot who I actually knew before I got there include RKB, who edits every erotica anthology ever written, the fabulous Jayme Waxman, Lux Appletreedream from the famous sex panel which was for the book that Dacia wrote. Ta-da!

We're having a launch party on November 14th, which coincidentally is also the 13th anniversary of the worst day of my whole life. Clearly I will be getting very intoxicated. Show up to watch me make an ass of myself. I just wanna show up in someone's recap in words like "someone got really .... jolly! last night! and was dancing on the bar ..."

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Hello autowinners this is tinkerbell. Riese promised to stop talking about the election following her giant election information party yesterday, but then she wanted to write McCain a poem and I do not know what to say for this. If you've not read her election post, you or someone in your family can expect a kiwi in the face within 5-6 business days.

I know you are wondering what me, Tinkerbell, thinks about all this. As the Dog Whisperer can tell you, dogs are very attuned to body language and can read your mind. Therefore I can safely say that John McCain is a bad idea. Onto the Auto-Fun.

quote:

"Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths, and encourage the arts and commerce.

Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth, the command of Isaiah -- to "undo the heavy burdens, and [to] let the oppressed go free."

And, if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor -- not a new balance of power, but a new world of law -- where the strong are just, and the weak secure, and the peace preserved.

All this will no be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days; nor in the life of this Administration; nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin."

Her answer to "if you were asked to write and illustrate a Sarah Palin biogrpahy, how would it look and where would you start?":

I would start by making sure it's written through a truthful and objective lens as opposed to those of her tyrannical allies. Then, I would make sure I have the freedom to illustrate her agenda through my own lens; thus exposing the inhuman effects her politics would have on society. The lighting in such drawings would be dark and grim. The story will conclude with a classy full color piece showing her severed head inside of a giant condom, encircled by a montage. This montage will illustrate the outcomes (STD's, pregnancies by way of abuse, dead polar bears) of some of her proposed VP policies. Basically, before engaging in such a project, I will ensure the author ties her TRADITIONAL VALUES to such unfortunate circumstances such as GENOCIDE, BLINDNESS, and complete and utter POWERLESSNESS; specifically among the minds/bodies of American women.

I will also make sure to remove that over the top contour from the illustrations of her face. Homegirl needs some assistance at the MAC counter at the mall, dear god.

insomnia poem #16[inspired by john mccain's performance at the third debate]

people are strange fruitsmoke & shootbuton the inside people are usuallylike orangesfleshy and sweetand me: allergic to all of itbut here's the marrow

people are like orangesexcept for the peoplewho are like dates[hard and chewey]which i've never eaten really'cause they are scary to melike john mccainthe rain in spainfalls mainly on the plainmccaini don't thinkanyone as rich as you arecan feel

america

it came from pain

you say potato, i say potato,you say palin, i say pain

hey you on the tvhere's a fresh sliceof our sweetdream, likehope right beforeit happens,and most of usdie still yearningbut yearning sweetlyi mean that it's so sweetit would make you kiss

There are so many amazing things about this post that I don't even know where to begin the OMGs! I stumbled across that calendar shot yesterday morning via a link to RKB's Flickr, I think, and immediately was like, "!!!!1!" Everyone looks fabulous, of course, but YOU look AWESOME!

The insomnia poetry was amazing, as was the Kennedy, and THAT OBAMA SHOT! It is SO beautiful! Where on earth did you find it?!

atherton: i know! re; obama shot. and the crappy thing is i don't even remember, but when i saw it i was like omg, how amazing, how touching, how candid, how honest, how perfect, i must put it on my blog, and i was just waiting for the right moment. it might have been on the blog of this guy who i saw on msnbc that i thought was cute, he was the editor of some magazine or another. clearly i have a problem with msnbc.

also in my individual shot i look a little bit like a hot trannie mess, but I'm trying to become at peace with that. hollerrrr.

crystal: i would've thanked you for that, but usually when i link to your blog, you react by deleting your blog. so you know, i'll settle for making your day.

I know that Riese isn't talking about the election anymore, so when I saw this I thought maybe you would like to see it. It scared me. Even though the Canadian election didn't exactly turn out so well either--it could have been much worse. I was pretty nervous about it actually, probably like how you're nervous about your election. I think this is probably why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utXFkXwaG7ALove, Canada