Ronald Mcdonald House Is Home To Grieving Parents

Kindness, Support To Continue, Vows New President

HAMPTON — Cindy and Tom Heldreth sought refuge at the Ronald McDonald House in Norfolk 10 years ago when their 3-year-old daughter Julie was seriously ill.

Despite the efforts of doctors at the nearby Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters, Julie slipped into a coma and was later pronounced dead of bacterial meningitis.

Although the tragedy of her daughter's death lingers, Mrs. Heldreth has found hope in helping others cope with similar situations.

She never forgot the kindness and support shown to her at the Ronald McDonald House. As the newly appointed president of the house's board of directors, she's working to make sure that continues.

"I want to insure that the house remains a home," she says. "People are asked to pay $8 a night to stay there. If they don't have it, they are never ever turned away."

Head of the math department and a full-time teacher at Bethel High School, Heldreth is adamant about her work on the board.

"I think when you have a child that dies, it changes you," she says. "I think you channel that energy in one direction. Some people work more. I felt this was something I could do to help others."

The Ronald McDonald House opened in 1981. It offers a home away from home for families of children hospitalized with cancer or other serious illnesses. Each house is developed according to local needs. The Norfolk house has eight bedrooms - each equipped with two single or double beds or combinations.

Heldreth remembers those rooms well not only because of her daughter but because of her son, Bryan. At the time of Julie's illness, he was 8 months old. Despite having taken a drug to prevent infection, Bryan began to exhibit meningitis symptoms 10 days after Julie's death. He was rushed to the hospital and given massive antibiotics.

Although it was touch and go for a while, Bryan survived with no measurable side effects. Doctors had warned he could have been deaf or learning disabled.

His mother describes him as a typical 10-year-old. He often accompanies her to the Ronald McDonald House and helps with fund raising and other activities.

"He participates as much as I do. He works the run with me," she says of her charity work.

"I think she's an extremely compassionate person, understanding and easy to talk with," she says. Heldreth is also wise and has the ability to look at a situation from various perspectives, Muhly says.

Heldreth calls Muhly delightful.

"She is a grandmother, and she grandmothers everybody," she says.

Heldreth continues to work with Bethel High's holiday charity project which listed the Ronald McDonald House as one of its designated charities long before the Heldreths stayed there during their crisis.

Bethel students bring in cash donations over a 12-day period in December. Some give their allowances, their leftover lunch money and rolls of pennies. Last year, the school raised nearly $10,000 and gave it to 10 different charities.

Heldreth also has been involved with the school's Key Club and Keyettes, sponsoring them during service projects. They've come as a group regularly to the Ronald McDonald House to handle chores like mulching flower beds, washing windows and decorating for the holidays.

When Heldreth was asked to become a member of the house's board of directors in 1985, she readily accepted.

She helped start a house newsletter, serving as editor for three years, and had been vice president of the board for two years.

Heldreth takes on the presidency at a time when changes at Children's Hospital of The King's Daughters are expected to have dramatic impact.

A major expansion slated to open this August at the hospital will offer additional private rooms to accommodate overnight stays for parents of patients. If more parents plan to stay at the hospital, the house may see a decrease in guests.

"Out-patient surgeries have also lessened the demand for the house, so we are looking at all these changing needs and trying to decide how we should respond," Heldreth says. "Should we expand our services and, if so, who should be expand them to? We want to be utilized, we're here and we can help."

There's one aspect that Heldreth says will not change.

"We care a lot about kids - especially sick kids," she says, adding that the house is a home and should remain a haven for those who need it.

Parents are not only coping with the illness of a child but are often struggling to make ends meet, she says. "With us providing the service, it takesa lot of the stress out of it," Heldreth says.