Thursday, March 23, 2006

Are we gonna get any virgin sacrifices or what?

Your favorite TV show has ended. You've just seen the ads for Lipitor and light beer, and here comes another:

Tick. Tick. Massive heat waves.

One after another, the faces of small children appear.

Tick. Tick. Severe droughts.

The kids look and sound serious, maybe even upset.

Tick. Go to www.fightglobalwarming.com. While there's still time.

Yikes! Did some ad exec get lost on a disaster movie set? Not quite.

Fred Krupp, president of Environmental Defense, has teamed with the Ad Council, which has challenged social norms with such public-service campaigns as "Friends don't let friends drive drunk" and Nancy Reagan's "Just say no."

In a series of TV and radio spots that one publicist termed "edgy" - and that a global-warming skeptic called "the ultimate triumph of propaganda over science" - the group is hoping to spawn a massive shift in social awareness that will send millions rushing to turn down their thermostats, inflate their car tires, and recycle their plastic.

More like rushing to the crapper before the show comes back on. Better try again:

Another of the ads to be launched today shows a fragile plant growing near train tracks, then a speeding locomotive. A man appears. "Global warming," he intones over the chugga-chugga of the train. "Some say irreversible consequences are 30 years away. Thirty years? That won't affect me."

He walks off. But behind him - right in the path of the train - is a little girl, blonde curls framing her puzzled frown.

It really is crapper time.

Here's a hint for the big advertising professionals at Ogilvy & Mather of New York who disgorged this offal. As long as you're creating works of fiction, why not spice 'em up a little?