A wacky writer's journal.

Indian Humour – Part I

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon. Off late all my afternoons have seemed lazy. One among the myriad perks of being temporarily unemployed. I have not looked at the calendar for over a month now and hardly know what day of the week it is. On my ”Things to do today“ list, there is very little, to no time allotted for productive activity as I try hard to not lose sync with lethargy. To me the divine period of idleness comprises of 60% of sleep, 10% of food, 5% of hygiene, and 25% of recreation. I’m hooked on to watching FOX History and Entertainment for a good three hours everyday. Channel no.553 for fellow tata sky users. They showcase a wonderful compilation of documentaries at 3 p.m and 7 p.m everyday (the only growing time for my brain). They also have a wonderful show called “Paul Merton in India” For those who want to know who Paul Merton is, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Merton

The show is about his learning when visiting different cities in India. For someone like me who has never stepped foot outside India, this was a great way to know a firang’s take on the country, to know how perplexing India can seem to tourists.
Like a few lucky souls, Paul is blessed with witty sarcasm in abundance. That’s what gives the show my brownie points. The episode I saw today was about Paul’s visit to Delhi, the capital of all madness. To make things easier for Paul he was accompanied by a lady journalist whose name I can’t seem to remember because it was too complicated.
I rechristened her to L J. L J told Paul all about the Indian customs and superstitious beliefs, about reincarnations and karma. Paul’s expressions on hearing this were priceless. It’s funny how most in the country still believe that our karma decides our next life. A few bad deeds could make one a rodent in his next life. Being born as human can only mean having lived a pious earlier life. Based on that theory, if I were a bee in my next life, I would have to be the most virtuous bee ever, to be reborn as human.
That is some peculiar logic, Eh?

Next on Paul’s list was Mr. Gupta’s mock airplane. The Guptas thought of a silly, yet amusing way to let people experience air travel. Predominantly for those who still haven’t or may never be able to afford it. They collected some discarded airplane parts and remodeled it into a brand new one. On Saturday mornings, the excited passengers board the plane and are ready to “take off”. Most oblivious to the discomfort caused by a take off, smile as if they are about to fly with superman. It is great to see that it takes only little to make people happy in India. Everything else but the plane seems realistic.
The hostess gives a detailed (Note-Detailed) instruction about safety. The pilot (Mr. Gupta) announces the take off and they’re “flying”. Soon the hostesses bring out the food and everybody on the plane is having a good time. Oh O! Suddenly! AIR TURBULENCE! I’m not kidding. A dangerous façade is set and the passengers are taught to deal with it. One can’t blame the passengers for making a near death experience seem hilarious. They sail through the turbulence. All is well. It is time to land or rather, time to slide down. That’s what they do on Mr.Gupta’s airplane. The passengers look forward to sliding down the exit board. Paul however, did not have a pretty good slide. His tumble made me wonder if he will flash a toothy grin again. He managed to save all his teeth.