OP said it was about tragic poetry and then went on to say " if you weren't there, you shouldn't talk about it."I think it's a narration directed to people who write about tragedies that never affected them in any way other than making them feel a little bad for someone else.

In a way you're right, although this poem is more inward than outward - it's addressing that part of me (or any writer) that feels they can or should be writing about something like this. So it's not so much "You shouldn't write about this!" as "...wait, should I really write about this?" Not sure if that makes sense; I'm not great at explaining stuff, sorry.

Is the narrator speaking to a man who's lost a lover?It seems to be so.It seems also murder is being insinuated deep down in between the stanzas...by hands unknown. This could be the tragedy you speak of?

"kettles, wakes and how to chair a committeewith a body on your desk,"

There's the lines that really stand out to me, speaking of life after losing a loved one, perhaps?

Thanks, it is intended to imply something similar to that. It feels strange to say in the context of the poem, but those lines are my favourite and were actually kind of serendipitous. If you read the third paragraph on this article, you'll see what I mean [link]

Yeah, there have been a few times where I've been wikipedia hopping and then taken down notes because I found a phrase that was just so super awesome. It's how I ended up writing [link] this poem and [link] and [link] are two of my favourites as well.