We have been doing great. Obviously a lot of connection and love between us. But EVERYTIME I try to talk about the affair, or anything related to it, it ends up in a fight and him feeling sorry for himself. How does a normal person deal with this?? It is driving me crazy.

Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1373 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas

hemademesingle♀ 21281Member # 21281

Posted: 5:22 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013

Is he in counselling for the passive aggressive? If not then what is he doing to fix himself? Self help books?

It's hard work for a passive aggressive to fix themselves, takes many years to learn how to change themselves,

Posts: 437 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada

bionicgal♀ 39803Member # 39803

Posted: 7:19 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013

It does sound like he needs some communication and relationship skills. It can't be swept under the rug, or the chances of his repeating are too high.

me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.

Posts: 3511 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA

ItsaClimb♀ 37107Member # 37107

Posted: 7:29 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013

I hear you, I'm dealing with a passive aggressive too... it's so frustrating and exhausting!