Sunday, April 09, 2006

George Liquor Stories 3-fast food, lust and atheists

Here are a few more premises for George Liquor stories!

Fast Food

Slab ‘n’ Ernie convince George to take them to McDonald’s for a treat.George has never been to a fast food restaurant before and is stunned when he discovers what they call meat there. He pulls out the flimsy dried little burnt grey disk out of the soggy bun and looks through it –“This thing died of old age!!”He goes crazy with outrage and shows everyone what real meat is and tastes like. There is a cow eating in the restaurant and he takes some slices off the cow and fries them up. Everyone, even the cow, agrees that organic, fresh meat is much better than the crap they pass off as meat in fast food restaurants.

JIMMY IS IN LOVE

1. SET-UP:Jimmy comes home acting weird. He’s light on his feet, floating around dreamily. He’s in love.George thinks he’s sick. He feels his forehead for fever.George puts a thermometer in his mouth.Sody swings on the gate out in front of George and Jimmy’s house.Jimmy stares out the window making strange noises.George understands the problem—Jimmy’s in love.

George leads Jimmy away from the window and tries to talk him out of having contact with women, “What you wanna go hangin’ `round with girls for? They got all that soft crap hangin’ off of `em. You notice that?”

Jimmy imagines Sody’s curves and nods yes.George: “Women are fags! Afterall, they like to see men naked don’t they?”Jimmy looks out the window and sees Sody.

2. BODY:George calls Sody inside.George has talk with SodyFinally George realizes it’s no use. Jimmy is at that age.

GEORGE’S ADVICEGeorge teaches Jimmy the ropes, “When I was a teenager they called me ‘Lover Liquor’”George turns Mabel’s picture face down.Toilet seatGL: “Leave the toilet seat up at her house. It reminds her who’s boss.”Drive Drunk“Drive 80-miles-an-hour on the freeway blind drunk. She’ll know you’re a real man.”

George’s pal Victor Lugnuts has a problem. His son is an atheist. George offers to cure the kid and get him into heaven.When Eddie the atheist starts asking George unanswerable questions, George sputters and concludes that Eddie is possessed by the “Science Demon” - a monster who goes around planting fossil evidence in the ground and genetic evidence in our bodies. This kind of demon can’t be reasoned with because he cheats by using logic. George performs an exorcism on Eddie and removes the accursed demon.

These sound like the best GL concepts that you have posted so far John. I'm dying to know what the surprise ending of the "Jimmy in love with Sody" storyline entails. I see lots of potential for hilarity and funny drawings in each one of these and hopefully someone with a lot of money does too.

I'm also curious to know if you you got a chance to read my response to your e-mail yet?

I've got three concepts I'd like to turn into a TV show as well. I feel your pain, John. Oh well, maybe someday.Oh, and about that fast food, I'm a little too intimate with that right now. Did you know that McDonalds deep fries all the fries in 47 cubic pounds of lard?

Hey John!!!These stories are hilarious! Yes, sir, you've still got the goods! I was laughing my ass off just reading these ideas ("even the cow agrees")!!! I swear, if I ever won the lottery, I would buy you a huge deluxe Spumco studio, complete with the FUNDS to do FULL-ANIMATION, just like Clampett did in the 1940's. Some day, John! Some day!

gabriel said...Waaah! I can't stand this anymore, we must have this show! Where are you millionaires?

Paul G Allen,Vulcan Productions, I'm sure he can be sold, and he's very hands off.

Tooth beavers, science demons, nose goblins, where do you come with this stuff? Very funny stuff!

I like the McDonald's episode, I feel the same way about real meat (I'll never forget that Ripping Friends episode when the cow cuts a side of flesh from itself and gives it to Slab in The Ovulator!). Steaks should also be grilled over an open flame not pan fried! YUK!

But back to stories...Jimmy in love is going to be a great cartoon if it is ever produced. Sody suckin' on Jimmy's mouth and tongue is going to priceless. Pity Forrest Gump beat you to retard sex scene (Robin Wright jumpin' in Forrest's bed in middle of night) but you can most definitely create the most memorable retard seduction scene in film or teevee history!

Eh, I eat there at least once a week, but I also like cheesy, cheaply-animated, assembly-line Japanese anime, so you probably wouldn't care for my tastes all that much.

I'd still watch a George Liquor show, though. Come to think of it, I've been looking forward to seeing a proper George Liquor cartoon since I first read about an early version of the character in an interview with you published in the Canadian newspaper-insert freebie magazine Saturday Night probably over a decade ago now. (I think it was George Liquor at least... the character that abused Ren & Stimpy in that banned episode I've never seen because the show has always been under-shown in Canada?)

I find myself amazed to be agreeing with George Liquor for once! The last time I ate at McDonald's, I got this wave of suicidal urges passing over me when I was halfway through the burger. Really; something in it made me want to kill myself.

P.C. Unfunny said...I can't stand this.Stupid shows like Bo-Bo....what ever the fuck ya call it,12 oz. mouse and Scarborough Country on the air and THIS ISN'T ???????????????????????????????????????

I agree totally and whole heartedly.These GL ideas are fantastic and more original than all the other cartoon crap getting air time right now!!It seems like the network execs and bigwigs in charge of programming are hell bent on airing the most uncreative, unentertaing crap on the planet.Conspiracy?!?

We had this rumor in elementary school our burgers were 90% soybean and 10% beef. My friend Chuck pulled his bun off one afternoon and found this grey mulch on top of the patty and said, "That's the meat!"

Another time, the Dairy Queen Corp. made my dad's friend, a franchise owner, stop using 100% beef patties and switch to a meat/vegetable mix. Business dropped, so he begged the company to let him buy his patties from another source. "You can't do that!" they said. Business kept dropping everywhere. They switched back to beef.

These are great! I love how George's pov clashes with the modern world. A true man out of time!

Hey John, does it all bug you that Adult Swim has started running promos that they're going to be airing Saved by the Bell later this month on their CARTOON Network when you have a wealth of animated goodness to offer the hungry masses of animation fans? It bugs me.

george liquor is a riot. my favorite fast food burger scene is still the one with micheal douglas in Falling Down. hysterical. i'm so tired of talking hamster japanamation triangle cartoon crap. i'm constantly watching Spongebob for a psychotically good facial expression fix....BRING ON THE LIQUOR.....

What I really like about these stories is that George is always a guy who is willing to "help out" when he can. As mentioned in a previous thread, George is a conservative, but he is also very "cuddly" in his own way. Great stuff and a great character! Who does George's voice? It always reminded me of Brian Doyle Murray.

Here in Europe (at least here in Norway) George Liquor and Ren & Stimpy seem to be practically unknown to the average person. The Ren & Stimpy-DVDs is only available in Region 1 (USA) coding. Yet, the ones who've actually heard about it seem to love it.

So, there's obviously a big latent market for you out there. The people just need to be informed...

Man, I love all those premises. Especially the last one. Science demon that cheats in arguments by using logic! Awesome.

The world needs George Liquor's backwards logic more than ever now. He is truely a dying breed.

I also love the idea that George considers cats insects. I can totally see Cigarettes sitting on Jimmy's sholder and George rolling up a news paper saying "Don't move, boy! You got a bug crawlin on ya!" Then relentlessly beat the ever-loving crap out of Cigarettes until he runs with his tail between his legs to Sody's house.

Hey, everyone. This site lists Galaxy High School on its worst cartoons ever list:

http://www.platypuscomix.net/kidzone/horrible.html

John K did character designs for this show, I believe.

The educational theme for this one was, "DIVERSITY!" Like this place had a choice....this had some of the worst examples of minority groups ever. There was actually a classroom filled with nothing but students that were talking tomatoes. And get this--the lockers were ALIVE! "OW!! You slammed me because you're racist against our race, DIDN'T YOU?? RIOT TIME!!!"Forget tolerance--I'd declare war in this case. But that isn't the worst show of all time. The NEXT one is. We've come to the end, and now you have a choice: you can just forget about knowing of its existence, or you can click the link below and be scarred for life. I leave the choice in your hands. But be quick about it here. I don't have all day.

EHEH!!!! I LOVE the Jimmy in Love story!!! I've seen some of your colored-in pictures of Jimmy with Sody and was always curious about what an episode of those 2 might be like. !SQUEEEE! :D ***Uh Cigarettes is one of my fave characters too >x< Maow

So John, I have to appeal to your sensibilities once again. You have hundreds of posts where folks are assuring you that they would pay for George Liquor and that thay miss the old Spumco flash. You seem cool & to let them see the Flash doesn't seem like it would preclude a purchase of a DVD or that it would be that big of a deal if they saw it. So I'll NOT put the link to those files here so you don't have to moderate them out. But I feel like you,re Mickey Mantle and you want $20 bucks for an autograph or something if you don't want to let your adoring fans see something you yourself are derisive about in comments elsewhere. It's cool it's over and either way to let them see it doesn't damage you - how 'bout it, champ? Hell, I'LL buy a DVD!! stephen69@gmail.com

I find it apalling that [adult swim] won't jump on this show. They obviously like your stuff (They ran "Boo Boo Runs Wild" every week for a month straight), and it certainly sounds more entertaining than half the stuff they have right now.

Then again, they're apparently going to start rerunning "Saved By The Bell" in a couple weeks. I doubt very seriously they'll be messing with it, either. If they were to hire Trace Beleau and Joel Hodgeson to MSTie the show, it might almost be watchable... almost... and it would almost classify as animated if they brought the robot puppets in.Otherwise, I'm drop-jawed at the idea of this crap show being on Adult Swim when they're ignoring a potential winner like George Liquor!

"Otherwise, I'm drop-jawed at the idea of this crap show being on Adult Swim when they're ignoring a potential winner like George Liquor!"

I am not really in awe.They show a bunch of shows no one watches,I know for a fact that most of anime they show get low ratings,they even say it themselves. I basically have given up on AS,they are completetly incompetent. They don't even know how to schedule show times,they really must there line-up out of a fish bowl every week.Seriously,you don't know what time anything is on Adult Swim. However,I do admit,I like "The Boondocks and " Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

Mr. K.I have been a huge fan of yours since I was knee high to a grasshopper!I had a question for you though...I am a freelance 2D animator and was recently approached by a Festival to Amimate a 1 minute cartoon.What does your company(or cartoon companies in general) charge for that?Any rough Idea would greatly be appreciated!One Million Thanks!!!

Why doesnt someone fund this?? you would think some fatcat would get it off the ground straight away after the success of ren and stimpy.Maybe John K should labour away on a 2 minute short pilot by himself, that is if it would that help get the George Liquor Program get funded.

Not only does this cartoon need to be made ASAP, but Spumco should seriously have their own TV channel showing only quality cartoons and John's handpicked favorite cartoon classics. I would cream my pants, wouldnt you?

SAVED BY THE BELL????????????? what the hell? When you think of the wealth of cartoons that exist that most people have never even seen, and they they are running a live action show! Ok, maybe the acting on saved by the bell is 2 dimensional like a cartoon but jeesus?????? WTF????

dear mr. k. Why don't you put one of those clutch cargo/ minoriteam style cartoons out that is drawn well with beautiful backrounds? It's a start,... people will love it and can get you some leway on CN. Give us something !!!!!!!!! Cut up some of those Spumco comic stories, and put em up on the net with limitted animation, and sound. thats something start a fire!!!!

I'm pretty sure it's corporate overloads and not the guy who runs Adult Swim that are making Cartoon Network suck. It sounds like Adult Swim is basically being forced to show Saved By The Bell as an experiment and if it gets good ratings they're going to keep showing it. I hate that. And I hated Saved By The Bell when I was a kid and they replaced saturday morning cartoons with it. This live action shit on Cartoon Network has got to stop. Cartoon Network used to be one of my favorite channels with all the great classic cartoons they used to show and now they just pander to idiots.

I don't like going off topic so I should say something about George Liquor, I guess.

I wanna meet the people and George Liquor's neighborhood. You can kind of imagine from his name what a guy named Eddie Lugnuts would look like. Hope you post some drawings of them sometime. Great stories too!

"Women are fags" is a provocative and hilarious comment leading me to think what would happen when a butch lesbian moves next to George and becomes his best pal: rooting for her alma mater [George's favorite college football team], drinking beer [PBR!], obsessively weeding and mowing her lawn, decrying godless commies, and watching the boxed set of her favorite TV show [Vic Morrow's COMBAT from the 60's] with George who is touched that someone remembers the REAL classics! Yes, how would George relate to my sister-in-law once he found out she was FEMALE...??!!

Why not show this George Liquor shit to George Clooney? After all, that hip bastard got "South Park" the deal that put it on the map. You'd have to do a real asskissing drawing of him, though, and delete all the ones on here where he looks like his stubbled, waxy asshole is wolfing down a sausage.

hehehe... my old high school had burgers even worse than McD's. What they'd do is boil, yes BOIL, a tube of meat, and then slice it and slap those on a bun. You'd end up with these perfectly flavorless, perfectly gray, perfectly cylindrical discs of what once was beef.

McD's is boiling a potload of steer tubesteaks right now. They're stuffing each one with special sauce, which they plan to test market on Castro Street. You bite down on one and it squirts! Ronald McDonald is the spiritual offspring of Peter Allen, except for the rectal itch.