Biden suggests “herbal remedy” for cancer initiative

This past week, a groggy, bloodshot Biden spoke at the Task Force’s executive meeting and gave those in attendance a very vague idea about how to move forward.

“You know man, these scientists have already done a ton of research,” Biden said. “Maybe it’s time that we think outside of the box. Use something that grows in the ground.”

Some of those in attendance, like Dr. Sanjay Datta, appreciated the new path forward proposed by the vice president but wasn’t sure where to go from there.

“I agree that creativity is a vital part of problem solving, especially with a problem as big as the cure for cancer,” Datta said. “But I’m not sure what he means by this ‘natural medicine.’ Everything’s natural to a point.”

Datta also wondered why it’s always so skunky in the meeting room whenever the vice president shows up.

When pressed for specifics, Biden stuttered and failed to expand on his original comments.

“Uhhhhhhh, I’m just saying that we… haven’t looked into every option we have,” Biden said before breaking into a coughing fit. “Plus, Barry gave us a ton of money. It’s always cheaper when you buy in bulk.”

After Datta asked what the antecedent of “it” was, Biden began chuckling.