Wednesday, April 26, 2017

I’m reading blogs from a number of people who are upset
about the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why.
The criticism is harsh. Some are saying that it glorifies suicide, encouraging
teens to consider it a viable option, or that it advocates suicide as an effective
means of exacting revenge on those who have wronged you. They are advising parents not
to let their teenagers view it.

I had to find out what all the fuss is about. Last
weekend, I was finishing up my post-Easter vacation week and I binge-watched 13 Reasons Why for two days. To be
honest, I don’t know if I would have been able to watch it any other way
because it was written in a way that always pulled me forward into next
episode, and I couldn’t turn it off.

I do not agree that it glorifies suicide. The suicide scene
was so terrifying that I had to look away. In the book, Hannah kills herself
with pills. In the film, she slits her wrists. I don’t know how anyone could
have watched this scene thinking it’s a cool thing to kill yourself. It was
horrific!

I found it to be an engaging show that I really wished I
could have watched with teenagers. If you’re the parent of a teen, I
won’t say that you should let them watch it. But I will say that, depending
upon the maturity of the teenager and your relationship, this film offers an opportunity
to explore some important topics, and I can imagine that you might have many hours
of good discussion while viewing it together.

If you have teenagers in your home, and if you would like to
take your relationship to a deeper level by watching and discussing 13 Reasons Why together, let me offer
some possible fodder for discussion. It seems only right that I should offer 13
topics to consider.

1.High school is depicted as a cruel, heartless
place in this series. It’s a wonder anyone survives it. Is it really this bad?
Is the social status of students (jocks, nerds, etc) a reflection of larger society
or is high school a unique environment? Is the pressure to get into the right
college an ever-present threat? Are friendships more important than doing the
right thing? How are girls treated differently than boys? Are teachers as clueless
as they appear in this series? From your experience, what seemed like a true
depiction of high school and what was false?

2.The bullying in this film seems over the top. Is
this the way high school really is? Hannah isn’t the kind of person you would
imagine being bullied; she is bright, smart, pretty. What does this say about
people who are the targets of bullies?

3.There are so many kinds of fear in the film: fear
of being exposed for who you really are, fear of being rejected, fear of being
perceived weak… As you think about each of the main characters, what they are
afraid of and how does that fear drive their actions? (As a person of faith, I can’t
help but think about how faith, which is the opposite of fear, might have made a difference. I noticed the absence of faith in the film.)

4.I wonder if Hannah might represent more than one
young woman in one high school. Is she like a composite character who
experiences what so many other young women experience: harassment, objectification,
slut-shaming, unwanted groping, rape? Are these common experiences among young
women? Hannah seems hyper-sensitive to all of it. Nothing goes unnoticed. Is
she more aware than most? Or is this just what it looks like when a young woman
is paying attention?

5.Consider the credibility of the narrator. Hannah
doesn’t always tell the truth. For example, when Zach receives a note from her,
she describes how he crumpled it up and threw it on the ground. In fact, he
kept it. Does she see the world through a distorted lens where everyone is
against her? Is her thinking twisted because she’s depressed?

6.In her mind, Hannah knows how her narrative will
end from the beginning of the first tape. Does she make the tapes,
which she leaves as an extended suicide note, to get revenge, or to justify her
choice? What is her motivation for making the tapes? (That may be at least as
interesting to consider as her motivation for ending her life.)

7.Does anyone in a healthy state of mind decide
that it makes sense to solve a temporary problem with a permanent solution like
suicide? Or is it the choice of someone who is depressed, someone who experiences
so much pain in life that they would do anything to make it stop? How much do
you know about depression? If a person is struggling with depression, how can
we give them permission to talk about it?

8.It’s important to talk about suicide. You don’t
plant the idea in someone’s head by talking about it. The best thing you can do
with someone who is contemplating suicide is talk with them about it. Often,
simply hearing oneself say the words out loud is enough to make sense of the
thoughts. Do you know what the warning signs are for someone who is
contemplating suicide? (You can find this by doing an easy internet search.
Every person, especially every teenager, should be aware of these signs to
watch for in their friends.)

9.Some people fear that teenagers will watch 13 Reasons Why and be persuaded to commit
suicide. Is that giving teens enough credit? They see actions in movies all the
time they know are wrong and they know better than to copy them. In fact, if
people are worried about young people copying the actions they see in movies, aren’t
there are much worse movies that you should ban from their viewing—movies that
glorify violence, racism, misogyny, illegal drugs, casual sex…? And don’t the
destructive behaviors in this film clearly come with consequences? (which is
more than one can say for a lot of movies, TV shows, video games, posts on
social media)

10.The main character in the series, Clay,
considers suicide himself, but he decides against it. How was he different from
Hannah in the way he reaches a different conclusion than she does?

11.Clay
makes the statement that any one of the people Hannah exposes on her tapes could
have changed the outcome—if any one of them had helped her, she would still be
alive. Is that fair? Is it true? When someone takes their own life, who is
responsible?

12.Tony has a sense of loyalty to Hannah throughout
the series that may be hard to understand. He's bound and determined to honor
the wishes of a dead person, even when they don’t make sense. How important is
it to keep a confidence when someone is in danger, or to protect someone you love at
great cost to others? As a loyal friend, was Tony complicit in Hannah’s
craziness?

13.In 13 Reasons Why, the high school students
live in their own world, which is completely closed off from the adults in
their lives. The adults are not perfect; they make mistakes. But most of them
care deeply about their children. Despite this, the teens do everything they
can to hide information from their parents and teachers. The adults are
expected to have superpowers and pick up on subtle clues, and the teens expect
to navigate their struggles on their own. Does this ring true for you? How
might 13 Reasons Why have played out
differently if the adults and high school students had talked to each other
about what mattered?

Saturday, April 22, 2017

My understanding of God the Creator has been greatly enriched by studying about the spirituality of the Celts. In Celtic spirituality there is a love and amazement at creation. They refer to the world, the out-of-doors, as the Big Cathedral. An enclosed building like a church, they would call a Little Cathedral. If you travel to Celtic lands today, you will see high-standing outdoor crosses, which are a reminder of the worship they held outside where they could experience the beauty of nature. This earth that God has created is our Big Cathedral. When you look at it like that, our lives aren’t about getting up in the morning and doing what we gotta do so we can come home and go to sleep and get up in the morning and do the whole thing all over again. We’re in the Big Cathedral here. In that context, living in the Big Cathedral, our lives are worship. But, what if you’re living in the Big Cathedral, yet fail to notice? A reporter several years ago carried out an interesting survey on the street. People walking by were stopped and asked, without looking up, to describe the sky as it was on that day. Do you know that only a very small percentage of the people could do it with reasonable accuracy? God’s presence is all around us, but most people don’t take the time to notice or appreciate it. I confess that I’m often among the unappreciative. Still, there are times when I can’t help myself. I have to take note of the wonder of creation in my presence. Like when I’m bowled over by: A gorgeous sunset.  A big fat yellow moon.  The misty ridges of the blue ridge mountains.  The branches of a naked, gnarly tree against a clear blue sky.  The first bright green buds of spring.  The sound of seagulls and waves rolling onto the beach.  The wagging tail of my dog when she greets me at the door.  Rainbows that always seem to surprise me. Perhaps the most amazing part of God’s creation is what I see looking back at me in the mirror every morning. This is a creature that has been set apart from all the others. In the Genesis creation poem we read, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness…” I’m never quite sure what that means. It’s puzzling. The second part of the verse is clearer to me, “…and let them have dominion over…” all creation. God created humans to be in loving partnership with him for the ongoing care of creation. (Maybe that’s what it means to be created in God’s image.) I wonder if we’re so often oblivious to the marvels of creation all around us because, if we really saw them, we wouldn’t be able to ignore our responsibility as partners with God in the care of creation. But what if we did? What if we saw our lives as worship in the Big Cathedral?

Saturday, April 15, 2017

“He has been raised from
the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see
him.” That’s the message the angel told the women to proclaim to the other
disciples. And they hightailed it outa there.

They were full of fear and wanted to make some distance between
them and that empty tomb. But they also were about to explode with joy. This
was amazing news and they couldn’t wait to share it. They had a mission.

Suddenly, they were stopped dead in their tracks. It was Jesus
himself!

They threw themselves at his feet and grabbed hold of him. And
then, Jesus gave them the same instructions they had heard from the angel,
“Don’t be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see
me.”

And they did see him. The resurrected Jesus. A lot of people saw
him. Like the women at the tomb, they spoke with him, and they touched him. It
wasn’t just a resurrection of the soul. It was a resurrection of the body.

We take comfort in that because at Easter Jesus defeated the power
of death, not just for himself, but for us, too. And we trust that, when we
die, there is a resurrection in our future as well. But what if there’s more
than one way to look at this resurrection of the body stuff. What if it’s not
just about something that will happen to us one day, after we die?

There’s another way Jesus’ resurrected body is revealed to us. And
to get at that, let me share with you a bit of Lutheran theology, that is
really just something that you can read about in the Bible.

In Lutheran theology, being a Christian is never just about
Jesus-and-me. We don’t have a personal Lord and Savior whom we carry around in
our pocket. We Lutherans are really big on what we call the Priesthood of All
Believers. We don’t stand before God alone, but we stand with others who
receive God’s Word of grace with us. In fact, that grace comes to us through
our brothers and sisters. Like the women in the Easter story, other believers
bring the gospel to us and we bring it to them.

We stand together as a community. We support one another on our
faith journeys. Together, we discern what God is calling us to do in the world.
And together we do it. It’s not just about Jesus and me. It’s about Jesus and
us.

And here’s the really big thing about the Priesthood of All
Believers. The Bible describes this unity we share with the metaphor of a body.
We are the Body of Christ. As Teresa of Avila wrote so eloquently back in the
16th century:

“Christ has no body now on earth but yours,

No hands but yours, no feet but yours.

Yours are the eyes through which he looks with
compassion on this world.

Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good.

Yours are the hands with which he is to bless people now.

Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”

Sisters and brothers in Christ, we are the resurrected Body of
Christ.

Of course, the Body of Christ doesn’t just gather in this place as
an end in itself. We gather to be strengthened through the love we share with
one another, through the hearing of the Word, the Meal we receive, through the
music that sends our spirits soaring, through the gratitude we express to God
with our words and our hearts. During this time when we meet in this place, we
are nourished as Christ’s Body so that we can be Christ for the world around
us.

When we’re welcoming the
stranger at worship, or advocating for the stranger in our community, we are
the resurrected Body of Christ.

When we’re providing
lunches for the homeless, or tutoring students in an underserved school, we are
the resurrected Body of Christ.

When we’re welcoming
neighborhood children into our nursery school or supporting Lutheran Campus
Ministry, we are the resurrected Body of Christ.

When we’re sending
quilts to provide a loving embrace for those who feel abandoned, or praying for
brothers and sisters in Nicaragua, we are the resurrected Body of Christ.

When we’re caring for aging parents, we are
the resurrected Body of Christ.

When we’re exercising
justice and compassion in our place of business, we are the resurrected Body of
Christ.

When we’re speaking out
on behalf of those who can’t speak for themselves, we are the resurrected Body
of Christ.

When we’re offering a
word of compassion to the forgotten, the brokenhearted and the lonely, we are
the resurrected Body of Christ.

When we’re acting in
love for the least among us, we are the resurrected Body of Christ.

Whenever we’re doing the work of Christ in the world, we are his
hands and his feet, and his eyes, and his mouth. We are the resurrected Body of
Christ.

“Don’t be afraid,” Jesus said. “Go and tell my brothers and
sisters to go to Ascension Lutheran Church in Towson. There they will see me.”

Friday, April 14, 2017

Can there be any doubt that Jesus was all about love? We know that he took the humble form of a servant when he walked this earth. He got down on his knees and washed the feet of his disciples, including the one who would betray him. He taught us to pray, not just for our friends, but for our enemies as well. But the most telling act of love he gave us was his death on the cross. It was love that put him there, and even while he was dying, he remained true to who he was, offering a prayer of forgiveness for the very people who were crucifying him. How different the story of salvation would be if Jesus had cursed those who nailed him to a cross where he would slowly bleed and die. But, of course, that’s not what he did. Knowing that those who had crucified him were, in a sense, damning themselves by their actions, he spoke on their behalf. He asked God not to hold their sin against them. He responded to their hatred with love. One of the amazing things about Jesus’ prayer of forgiveness is that he offered it without anyone requesting it. So often we think that forgiveness is offered only after the person who has wronged us comes to us and asks to be forgiven. But no one asks Jesus for forgiveness in this scenario. Instead, he offers it with no self-acknowledgement of their guilt whatsoever. He forgives them when they might not even realize they have anything to be forgiven for.Is there someone in your life you have had trouble forgiving? Have they done something that has hurt you so deeply you can’t find it in your heart to forgive them? Have you been waiting for them to come to you and apologize first? Forgiveness isn’t only for the one who is forgiven; it also benefits the one who does the forgiving. Why not honor the one who hung on a cross and offered forgiveness in an act of pure love by praying the same prayer for those who have wronged you? Carrying a grudge is a terrible burden to bear. It’s time to set yourself free. Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.

Those are
the words we use when we consecrate the bread and wine for the sacrament of
Holy Communion. Have you ever thought about why the Words of Institution begin
like this? In the
night in which he was betrayed… The betrayal
Jesus experienced in the context of his last supper cuts right to the heart of
what this meal means for us whenever we receive it. If Jesus had instituted
this sacrament at any other time, it wouldn’t mean what it does for us. It had
to happen in the night in which he was betrayed.Have you
ever been betrayed by one of your closest friends? After opening yourself up
and becoming vulnerable to another person, to have them abuse the trust you
placed in them and stab you in the back can cause more pain than if that person
had beaten you to a pulp. If a person
claims to love you and turns around and hurts you deeply, you probably want to
do what most of us want to do in that situation – you want to hurt them back.
You wouldn’t choose to spend your last night alive with that person. Especially
if you knew it was his betrayal that was going to lead to your death, a death
you didn’t deserve. You wouldn’t
include him on your guest list as you gather your loved ones for one last meal
together. You wouldn’t treat him with all the love and compassion that you show
to all the other guests at your table. You wouldn’t get down on your hands and
knees and wash his feet. You wouldn’t break bread with him and offer him the
same blessing you give to all the others who have left everything to be with
you. Certainly, you wouldn’t give yourself, your very body and blood, to this
one who betrayed you. But that’s what Jesus does, isn’t it?He offered
the wine, his blood, to all of them, including the one who had already betrayed
him to the chief priests. Judas had gone to them and asked, “What will you give
me if I betray him to you?” And they paid him off with thirty pieces of silver.
From then on, he was looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus. No doubt,
that’s what Judas was thinking about as he sat down to eat that night with
Jesus and his friends. He felt the weight of the silver coins in one hand while
he received the broken body and the spilled blood of Jesus in the other. Judas
was wondering if this might be a good time to betray the one who was handing
him his very life.It’s hard to
believe that Judas could have turned on Jesus like this and gone through the
charade of participating in Jesus’ last meal with his disciples. What’s even
more unbelievable is that Jesus himself knew exactly what was going on, and he
still gave himself to the one who already had been paid to have him arrested
and killed. As the story
unfolds, we watch Jesus making a point of letting Judas know that he knows. “Very
truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me,” Jesus tells his disciples. When
they want to know who it is, he says, “It’s the one to whom I give this piece
of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” So he dips the bread in the dish
and gives it to Judas. Now, only
one of the disciples understood what was really going on at that moment. Jesus
said to him, “Do quickly what you are going to do.” So Judas got up from the
table and left.I’ve often
wondered why Jesus didn’t dismiss Judas at the beginning of the meal. Why did
he wait until after he had shared such an intimate time with his closest
friends? I imagine it might be like having your family gathered around your
deathbed and seeing your arch-enemy standing there in the midst of them. A
deeply personal last time to be with the ones you love the most would be
ruined. In the same way, Judas had defiled this holy moment. If Jesus knew what
was going on, it would have made more sense for him to ask Judas to leave
earlier, so he could have been excluded from this loving encounter with his
followers. But Jesus intentionally chose to include Judas. As the story
unfolds, we learn that Judas isn’t the only person present at the meal who will
betray Jesus. One by one, they will all fall away. When Jesus
is arrested, three times Peter denies even knowing him. After Jesus
is crucified, they all hide out for fear of being recognized as his followers.
Not only did Jesus share his last supper with the one who would betray
him, he shared his last supper with all who would betray him. And yet,
he loved every one of them enough to give them his very self, his body and
blood. This same
Jesus loves us enough to give us his body and blood, too. Just as he didn’t
turn any away at the table on the night when he was betrayed, he doesn’t turn
any away at his table ever. Even for the one who may be holding thirty pieces
of silver in one hand, Jesus still gives his body and blood to be taken in the
other.Lest any of
us think ourselves unworthy of receiving the body and blood of Christ, we need
to go back to the night when Jesus gave us this holy meal. From the very
beginning, it was shared with people who were unworthy of the gift. And that’s
what makes it a sacrament, because it is all about God’s grace poured out for
the undeserving.No matter
how strong or weak your faith may be, no matter how much or how little you read
your Bible or pray, no matter how well you’ve done at following Jesus or how
miserably you’ve failed, no matter who you are or what you’ve done – Jesus
offers you his body and blood. And the more unworthy you may feel about
receiving it, the more it has been given for you because it is given for the
forgiveness of sins.The
forgiveness of sins isn’t for perfect people. It’s for people like Judas, who
betrayed him for thirty pieces of silver. It’s for people like Peter who
promised he would never leave Jesus and then turned around and flatly denied
even knowing him. It’s for people like the disciples who cowered in fear as
soon as Jesus was taken from them.It’s a meal
given for the unworthy, and no one is excluded. It’s a meal where all are loved
and forgiven. It’s a meal where all are offered the gift of Jesus himself. And lest
there be any doubt about it, we’re reminded of this fact as we gather around
the table to receive Christ’s body and blood and we hear again the words that
recall for us how this meal came to us from the beginning. In the night in
which he was betrayed…

About Me

Nancy is an ordained pastor of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. She serves at Ascension Lutheran Church in Towson, Maryland. Nancy grew up in Hamilton, Ohio, and then served time at Bowling Green State University, before moving on to Trinity Seminary in Columbus. Starting out in North Dakota, she then returned to Ohio and served churches there before landing in North Carolina, where she served at two different congregations in Charlotte. She was also on the bishop's staff and earned a PhD from Pitt during her spare time in the area of religion and education. She considers herself an educator who happens to be a pastor and it makes a difference in how she does ministry. She is a divorce survivor, and the mother of two artsy-fartsy children who abandoned her when they became adults. Now she shares a home with Father Guido Sarducci, her tuxedo cat.