Hmm its has been so long once again im back to my blogging.My life is so simplifed after marriage so i dont think there is anything to blogged about. ;)

sometimes to me marriage is really like love tomb.Somehow i then realised , after giving birth to babies,. you dont stand anything in your husband heart. cause babies more impt.Its not something bad. at least he cares for the lill 2.

But a wife is not difficult to take care isnt?a lill bit of care and concern , love and a lill bit of sweet talk sometimes makes her day happy.But do all husband do that to their wife ?thei think after marrying . their wife will stay with them forever. But do you know why some wife ran away ? not because they are farkers.because they longed for the romance that they missed . they used to have.They longed for those days when their husband woo them , the sweetness the tenderness.

I must admit im still a lill girl a young lady who haven really been through much before i settled down. I must say settling down is not a bad thing for me. BUT I NEED attentions from my husband , i need all his care and concern and not by calling me "AH SIAO" , " GIRL"seriously. i dont even get a simple i love you from his mouth. i dont get to hear him call me "Dear" , " darling" . i dont get sweet honey words from him . i dont get his care and concern cause all he did was because of children. he will asked about children and will not asked about me.

Yes he tried hard to give me wad i want EG going out with my dear sisters. But , this is then 2 different matter, cause comes to relation , other than farking , i need romance love. you understand ? i need some sweet loving smiles i need some , " are you okay ? " "dont be sad darling" and not , quarrel whenever i mention , all the more i dont need " SORRY" i need your tender . I REALLY NEED LOVE!

Why am i always the one to pick fights? Do you think i love this. Im not trying to do that i just want you to know and understand! i just hope that you can listen to me ? cant you ? NOT ANYMORE? is it just because we are married ? I NEED A LISTENING EARS. AND NOT" SORRY ITS MY FAULT"

AGAIN AND AGAIN! theres no one fault , why can we learn from the mistake and pick up to live better ? i want him to know wad im thinking i chose to tell him . BUT ENDED UP QUARRELS EACH TIME.So i guessed i have to hide it all in my heart and let it sank down to the bottom which hurts and JUST keep to myself and no one else?voicing out makes my tears rolled. ok ok.. im controlling , but WHY!?!?!? WHY does he so mind about i drink ? I DONT GET DRUNK AND I always stopped whenever i get high. cause i still have the responsibilities , did i ever failed to do my job as a mum ?I believe my mother in law witness all these. each time i went out chilling yes drinking .. i dont come back doing funny stuffs, i dont go back walking zig zag. i DONT JUST K.O.i still look after my babies. So wads now? drinking is a problem ? just because he dont drink ? i sound like an offender? i sound idiot letting him quarrel again and again ?

I dont wanna mean a fight! i just wish to have a listening ears whens theres problems arise. when i need to talk to , and not the moment i start up a topic. ITS NOTHING BUT JUST ENDLESS QUARRELS. AND ITS OVER STUPID THINGS! FARK LA.

okok! perhaps im just not important. perhap just a tool to fark , to make love , to give birth , to command his obeys , to be a slave. BUT not a wife.

OKOK! i know. I'll just farking shutup and get lost at this moment!thanks all~

I dont know why today. could be my pms.was so damn emo.darling is not back yet from his "7mth qiak toh" and yes , once pms i feel lonely.my back hurts . hurts like my spine is breaking.my nose bleed , bleed like the water flows.my mental is so tiring, tired till i feel like slping without worrying.my menses cramp , cramp till i feel like doing nothing.my poor lill boy's growing teeth, till he's having fever.my girl yearns to carry , till no time to carry her always.my pocket's hole, till i tried so hard to mend it back.

Im seriously so tight up in time and financial. i need like extra 5k? to ease my living ?as for time, when i have the money . things will be so much easier.

But still, living with them , my life wouldnt be any easy.Trying hard. trying hard to accomodate them,trying hard , to resolve the heart problems i have with them.trying hard , to understand how much my husband try to make my life easier.trying hard to tell myself that living with them all , is just as good as living with mummytrying real damn hard to treat them like my own.

Cause afterall , we need to live together for like the next 1-2years or even 3?

Tell me, my emo-ing is caused by PMS.yar i yearn for more love at times, as i feel lonely or like slave to the family.But they said " thats why a mother is great" .so im trying to understand. I dont need to be great. I need and yearn for relaxation , for freedom , for more love just like other ladies ;)

but stil i understand. im a mother of 2. yup. okays. thats it. so just end the topic. ;)

Things will most prob be better,even living with disguise.Or facing the truth or facts.

Joanne-

ïи♥щїғħīм

Sunday, August 08, 2010

8:10 PM

im like drained.

shagged.

tired.

I dont know. i mean i hope theres like peace ?like harmony ?

a lill bit of more understanding, a lill bit of more care and concern, a lill bit more of loves.Life would be great isnt ?

Joanne-

ïи♥щїғħīм

Monday, July 26, 2010

11:23 PM

Am back from KLgetaway trip with my 3 darlins and my dear.Well ,its a trip we've planned long ago. but we finally went for this trip.Yupx , theres many conflicts in between but , well , we enjoyed.

Especially the shopped and eat , drink and drunk.LOL!we should have like video everything and see how stupid are we when we are drunk ?we had 4 jugs of beers, with 3 guiness , 2 monchito. ( i thnk spelling should be like tt la ) lol!Was not totally drunk but damn high. haa! anyway we had our girls nights.

We shopped like as if , theres no tmr and as if its free. LOL esp lesly tan. the money in her pocket is so pathetic, THEY DONT STAY LONG! HAHA.

was like planning for another trip. But i dont know whether will it fufill the next time round.Cause this planning takes up quite a lot time before we really went for it.But i promise I'll save to make the next dream fufill. ; )

TAIWAN ? BANGKOK ? HONGKONG? ;)

Money money money please roll in!I love you darlings! yupx. i hope we had fun for this trip!!

P.S LEE darling. sorry for that night for making you slp alone and all the big fuss, lucky you understand ; ) thank you although your attitude towards me sucks like shit! LOL. THANK YOU AND LOVES YOU! AND please! i want a lil bit more of love and care. and im not just a woman in your life who gives birth and tk babies for you. PLEASE LOVE ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE , AND TREASURE ME !! IF NOT I'LL SLAP YOU , LIKE WAD OUR CONTRACT LIST!

Photos will post in FB.If i have time, i'll post the pic in multiply ;)

Joanne-

ïи♥щїғħīм

Friday, July 16, 2010

10:09 PM

WOW.im so freaking busy that i can hardly blogged on my blogg , or even the lill darlings one.

Had been dealing with suppliers and customers and all the other new catalouges !Biz was not bad but im ot earning anything!As i earn and I spent! oh my god! im freaking a online shopper! LOL.PLEASE HELP ME!

baby boy and girl has been sick for like the past 1 month. They are taking their turns! im so sick and tired! and tried to hard to separate them with their cousins. BUT!If theres only my side of prevention , theres no use! i prevent they come nearer I prevent the com closer! oh god please tell me, any other better way to remind them of their unconsideration ? They dont give a damn but , the medicals fess are making me crazy! the weakness of the two lill precious is hurting me.

CANT THEY JUST DO THEIR PART AS WAD THEY SHOULD.THEIR ROLES OF RESPONSIBILITIES IN THEIR LIFE ?SICK, just dont come any closer to babies. Dont they know their immune systems are not strong yet ? CHILDREN SICK just prevent them from coming nearer la! URGH* making me so pissed!

Baby girl, is having rashes all over her body! is like making her face swollen. see-ing her like this hurts me. like so itchy yet she cannot voice out. IM NOT HOPING MUCH. I JUST HOPE THAT ALL PARENTS WILL DO THEIR JOBS AS WAD THEY SHOULD.

i dont believe their new baby girl's out , when their sons got sick , they will allow them to cough on the girl's face , to sneeze at the girl's face. So unfair isnt ?Just do something ab0out it la? HAIS.

THATS the problem with living with in laws , as well as A BIG FAMILY!the wrost is MIL can say , " aiyah , not so easy pass virus one la" fark la! and now she see? does she? its passing ard the house~ the house is like staying 12 people? and its taking turns. adults is alrights, but babies cannot stand it ! ahhh im going crazy at tthis topic. i just feel like drinking and get away from the house whenever i think of it. BUT I HAD THOSE 2 WITH ME! I STILL HAVE MY LOVED ONES.

I CANNOT THIS THIS PLACE.i hope as a daddy, he can do something for his lill two precious. if not they aint getting any stronger! if not they will be sick through out by having the virus passing around.Im trying real hard that i even got masks. even if MIL laughing , i dont give a damn anymore, you can laugh but pls dont pass any of your sickness to my precious PLEASE!THEY CANNOT EVEN THINK!!!!

I really need a break. but im so worried. this is making me CRAZYY!!!!

Joanne-

ïи♥щїғħīм

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

12:44 PM

Its our first year wedding anniversary on 31st May 2010.

And thinking back this is the first time Ive spent 1 yr with my partner.

This time round , i had two lill darlings with me. Yar , its indeed so different.

I dont talk about breakups , heartbroke , crying in the middle because of bf leaves me etc.

We ended up in kushinbon at great world city , seriously service and food over der are great. I just love them so much. Perhaps compared to jurong and suntec branches , this is the best. ; )

We had our romantic ? dinner? hhaaa!

And then headed home. Wanted to go out , but at that point of time there isnt anywhere for us to go , somemore its a monday.

Anyway i receieved love on tt day. eh yes, just on tt particular day. I FELT love you know? haha! he pampered me. ehh YAR ONLY ON TT DAY I MUST EMPHASIZE.

I received a poh heng hello kitty series from him. which was a real suprised to me . Cause i dont wanna him to spent on other stuff as we are quite financially tight. And yet , he got me tt. Im happy really . Ive wanted it . But i know its out of our budget. So Ive drop the idea. ;)

But it would have been better if he got the one with pink ruby! HAHHAHAH! just kidding la.

Anyway darling , these 1 years , is really challenging to me. Feeding babies , taking care of them , the cries in the midnight , had been the first time for me being a mother and a wife. Despite all these , although at times u are a BIG bully , and im unreasonable , but you forgive and still loves me. I must say , yes , i know there isnt any 100% perfect man. But you are the 50% of me. ; ) I will try to be 50% too to be your another 100% . I'll try! haha! Love you. happy 1 year anniversay ...

Joanne-

ïи♥щїғħīм

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

11:58 PM

They had made a farking big fuss. im so farking pissed off.I jus hope im out of here.This is still hell.I dare not tell it face to face to him .He is in between. I hope things are well for him and HIS family but not me pls.

Just leave it the way this is. Im leaving in my own space. I have my everything. I love my small lill family. my husband. my babies or even the maid.

This is too big for me to torlerate. and i promise i will never complain abt this. JUST DONT DO THINGS TT WILL MAKE ME COMPLAINS. I HOPE HE WILL NOT SUFFER. I JUST WANT HIM TO HAPPY.

went out with sh and hongqing. yes feeling much better. With darling always by my side im always blissed. yes i love you darling . no sweet talks no romance , but love from my heart.Im happy with my friends , how should i say it , -HEAVEN . back to home? HAA. i should not spell it out.

In case some KPOs spy on my blog and cause his family apart. I do not wish he and his family fall apart. I know how important a family is. just like mine. my mummy and me, my two darlings and my hubby. So i do not want to . Im not stranger , neither am i a good daughter in law i know. Im just trying to make peace.

Im torlerating. im v v angry. but i cannot expressed my self out. But seeing him doing so much for this. It hurts me. It makes me feel i should be more mature and face this instead of running away. I should protect those who are impt to me instead of those not.

anyway. I had my leaves. i had enjoyed. So shall be it ; )Thank you so much! loves!