This is basically my story. Just tried to put it into words that rhymed. Not sure it qualifies as "poetry". At first what I have written here may seem negative, it is what I actually thought and felt during my years of abuse and as I tried to recover. Some core beliefs needed "readjusting" but I did get through this painful mess (when often I thought that I wouldn't) and I know that YOU can too! ... "Healing is POSSIBLE"! You are courageous to even begin to walk this road...don't ever give up!

A SHATTERED LIFE

Long ago during adolescent daysall you did was heap on praise

It was the world I thought of youand my family as well, who knew?

You were a priest, holy indeedI was just a child very much in need

You explained this is love and it's okayuntil you realized I was pulling away

Your obsession with me, it really grewas you tried to isolate me from everyone I knew

You took me on trips and gave me nice thingsall others were jealous of our ring

You often said without me you could not existI was so very afraid of this

Your temper, manipulation and absolute controlI felt I was dying, I was loosing my soul

When things were wrong you were very madyet in the end I was always "the bad"

Sad, angry and powerless I becameI wasn't even sure if I was still sane

Should life go on, how can I know what is true?It was the grace of GOD which saw me through

It was time to move on so I moved outnow it was my younger brother you were about

How could I tell them? What would I say?after all it was my fault, that's usually the way

No I couldn't tell them I will not speakor others will know that I am a freak

It was years of silence I had to endurelest it bring my family shame for sure

I convinced myself I am fine, everything is okayuntil memories came roaring back one day

Emotions ran wild, depression was greatyet is was him…him I could not hate

I felt I was in the ocean sinking beneath each wavewhat can I do, how will I be saved ?

Each night I lay awake soaked with sweat in my bedburied memories running like a freight train through my head

Now I knew it was time to work this pain throughbut who will I speak to, what shall I do?

I must tell my wife, Oh what will she think?will this be it, is our marriage at the brink?

Years of anger, pain and confusion I enduredI felt like this many years before

Yet it was not for naught, this mental reelingin truth it was my body healing

Yes like a shattered mirror I once feltmany splinters and pieces beyond hope for health

Healing is possible now I know it is truewith the help of others you can heal too!

For sure I am not alone, a boy robbed of my youthit was not my fault and that is the truth

So now I say it is time to shed this shameand to you " Padre M" I return the blame!

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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