Sunday - Breakfast - Bacon, eggs, and toast
Lunch - Cheeseburgers, Tater Tots, Tomatoes, and Cottage Cheese
Supper- we usually have popcorn but tonight we had ice cream sundaes with Strawberries that I had
froze last Summer

I did buy a 2 liter of Pepsi on Saturday or $1.25 because I am a Pepsi addict.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Recently, I was looking through my friends' blogs and came across one that has inspired me. My friend Christine, aka "The Menu Mom" (http://www.themenumom.com/) is challenging her followers to live out of their freezers and pantrys for the entire month of January. The goal of course is to come up with meals without buying a lot of extra groceries and therefor, saving money. I didn't actually read about it until this past weekend but I jumped right in. So far this week, the only money spent at the grocery store has been for a gallon of milk. A grand total of about $4.00.

I tend to keep a fairly well stocked pantry and my freezers are generally full as well. You also have to keep in mind that we raise cattle and buy a whole pig every year from our neighbor. This shouldn't be hard, I just have to follow through. I will try to recall what I have made so far this week.

Sunday - we went to my sister-in-law's house for lunch to celebrate my mother-in-law's birthday. I had given her a 20lb ham to cook for the occasion so she sent some of the leftover ham with us. Sunday night we had popcorn and ice cream, our usual.

Monday - Lunch -the kids were home for Martin Luther King's birthday -we went to my Aunt's
house and she cooked us Swiss Steak. Yummy!
Supper - Tacos

Tuesday - Lunch - leftover ham and a yogurt
Supper - Cheesy Potato Soup and I added the leftover ham to it

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Okay, it has been about a week since I updated this and I think it is time.

Last Wednesday was the visitation. It went as well as it could. I kept busy catching up with my cousins and taking care of my children. There weren't a lot of non-family there and most of the people that came were elderly people that I didn't recognize. One surprise that night was that my stepmom came. I was pleasantly surprised by that. My Dad didn't come but it was nice of Carol to stop by and the girls were excited to see her.

The funeral was a little different for me. It was just familty and about a half dozen friends. I didn't bring the girls with, just Norvin and Levi and me. I started out in good spirits, joking with my cousins about my grandfather looking like he belongs in a western. Then the uelogy began and a light hearted sermon aimed at non believers. I had a hard time with the fact that most if not all of my family are non-church going people. As I sat there I felt like Norvin and I were the only ones in the room that truely knew what the minister was saying. I was sad. I did shed some tears at the funeral. I will miss my grandpa. But, I definetly have a sense of peace as the heavy burden of my childhood has been lifted from me.

And, Thursday morning as I left the graveside, I touched my grandpa's coffin and forgave him for everything.
I am at peace and someday, just maybe, I will see him in heaven as the perfect grandfather that God had intended him to be here on Earth.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I talked to my pastor today. He made me feel a whole lot better about my schizofrenick way of dealing with my grandfathers death. I am going to be okay. It is going to be a process but one that needs to happen. I'm not really sure what the rest of this week is going to bring but I do know that however it goes, I will be alright. I have God carrying my through and he won't let me down.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Here I sit. It's Sunday evening and I have a goal to blog every week. This week there is so much to say, yet very little that I actually want to verbalize to the world.

My grandfather died this week. My grandpa has been ill for a long time. Once my Grandma died, his will to live was gone. He had multiple strokes and little medical care. My Aunt lived with him and did her best to care for him. I took my children to see him just about a week ago and knew then that it sould probably be the last time I would see him alive.

It is a bitter sweet death for me. I have very mixed emotions about him being gone. Although, I know it would mortify my Mom that I am telling the world, I think I need to get these feelings out. My grandpa was mostly a normal grandpa. He taught me to ride a bike. He always did the grocery shopping, sometimes he took me grocery shopping with him, and if I was good, we would stop for McDonalds. He let me trim his beard. He built me a swingset. My Mom and Dad are divorced so he was the one that fixed things around our house and shoveled the sidewalks in the winter.

What a lot of people don't know is that my granfather was an alcoholic. He would drink every other day. All day every other day. On those days, he wouldn't eat a morsel of food and sometimes he was mean. Mostly, he was just obnoxious. On many occasions, my grandfather touched me innappropriately. I'm not sure what age it started but I know it didn't end until I was a teenager. This also happened to my sister, I know because we have talked openly about it. I told my Mom once about my sister and she didn't want to believe it. I never told her about myself. It is so much easier to talk about others than to admit it happened to you too. I am grieving for my Mom losing the father she believed he was and yet, I can't wait to see his coffin in the ground.

My sister lives in another state and isn't coming for the funeral. She is pregnant and doesn't want the stress. I can't blame her for that and yet I am angry with her for not being here with me. I am upset with myself for not having the strength to talk to him about Jesus and not knowing whether he is in Heaven with much of me believing he must be in Hell.

I am sad that I have lost my grandpa and yet relieved that the man he was every other day is finally gone.