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What you feel, is very normal. I think many on this site went through such a phase. I think, in the end you'll just have to ask the other guy what he is interested in or tell him that you're gay. It's sometimes very hard to guess someone's sexual orientation. In any case, you need not worry that being gay is unmanly. Many gay people are actually not at all effeminate. Concerning the jokes: actually the numbers show that people become more and more accepting of homosexuality - younger people especially. Jokes are one thing, but actual hostility is something very different. If people know someone personally who is openly gay, they become even more tolerant. So, I'm quite sure that everything would turn out well for you in the long run. And of course, you will be happier once this conflict is resolved. I know it from experience and I suppose many here would agree with that.

Of couse, it's hard. But do you want to turn yourself into a "straight" guy to please your parents? Many have tried that (myself included) and it won't work. It will, however, make you miserable. So, there is really only one option: Listen to your feellings, find out what you really like and do whatever makes you happy, yada, yada, yada. It might be hard for a while, but it will get easier.

If you're really attracted to both sexes equally, you might be bisexual. You should just try to be honest with yourself. Who makes your heart race? Who could you fall in love with? What (or who) do you fantasize about? What kind of porn do you watch? You shouldn't lie to yourself and you shouldn't try to be someone that you're not, because you are afraid or under pressure. Those are the only bad options that I can imagine. Otherwise, feel free to experiment. In the end, life isn't so much about gay, bi or straight (and stick to one category, please!), more about finding the right people to be with. Pick someone kind and beautiful and all will be fine.

I'm not listening to this right now, but there is a music festival in the town where I live and I heard an amazing band from China there yesterday. Their English name is "Second-hand rose". The Chinese name is Er Shou Mei Gui. You can find them on Facebook or Youtube. I think if they sang in English, they would be superstars. Their performance on stage was incredible.

These things are weird in the sense that they're not what most people do. But they're not weird in the sense that they are inferior or immoral. It's always hard or maybe impossible to "understand" why other people like different things. If you don't like spinach, you'll never "get" why other people eat it. There is no rational sense to it. Spinach tastes different to every person (the taste is in the brain really and each brain is unique). So there isn't much that you can argue about. It's the same with sexual preferences. The only things that "make sense" are the ones that you yourself like. (I'm sorry if that was confusing. I'm doing my best.) The problem might be that some of these "weird" sexual preferences evoke disgust in some people. If you're disgusted, you feel the need to distance yourself from such acts. But I think we should all try to be as tolerant and open-minded as possible. It's okay if nobody gets harmed, as mrcl has said.

Well, my explanations would be: 1. Usually, people get aroused by the sight of a naked body. But some can get aroused by other objects as well; that's called a fetish. It can be any object, really, but in most cases it has some special significance (attractive people wear it or own it or something like that). So, the object is a substitute for the body, and just like you cum in the body during sex, you cum in/on the the thing instead. 2. Peeing yourself is taboo (for people over 3 years of age), so you get the thrill of doing something that is forbidden. The rest ist probably about humiliating yourself. Some people get pleasure out of that. It's hard to explain why exactly. It is related to masochism, which we all experience sometimes when we get pleasure from eating spicy food. 3. Showering makes your clothes wet and cling to the body. That can feel nice. Humiliation and the thrill of irrational behaviour might also play a role for some people. Masturbation: Sooner or later, everyone gets sexual urges, and by then, the whole thing will no longer seem odd, but self-explanatory. I'm pretty sure about that.

I don't really get the outrage about Fabik's post. Such lists of pros and cons are probably something that many people have made at some point in their lives, at least in their mind. The point is not to choose the best side; that's usually impossible. The point is self-justification and that's something everyone of us needs badly and constantly. I can see, too, that Fabik's original list was full of stereotypes, but this topic is not stupid. There is a real problem to be discussed: how to be okay with yourself, Cosmo's solution is certainly the best: find a boyfriend and be happy. Happiness is hard to argue with. But there is also the danger in this that somehow you're not right if you have been lonely for years. There are quite a few good-looking and overall great gay boys who have lots of trouble finding a boyfriend. So, my answer to all this would be: It's okay to be gay and it's okay to be straight - no matter what any man, beast or list says.