An explosive new book. Saying that women should stop trying to be good at everything. Why I'm introing this story right now, I have no idea. Abc's paula faris, save me. Reporter: From buzzing magazine articles to best-selling books, to "modern family." Stay-at-home mom, that means I have a bunch of different jobs. Reporter: And movies like "i don't know how she does it." I've given everything I have to this job. And I love it. I do. But I can't dump my family at a moment's notice anymore. Reporter: The heated conversation of what having it all really means rages on. And now, the president of barnard college has a message for women -- stop trying to be so good at everything. The myth of having it all is truly that. It's a smith. No woman can have it all. No human can have it all. Reporter: In deborah spar's upcoming book, she says the expectations are overwhelming. Women are no longer just expected to be wonderful wives and mothers. They're expected to be wonderful wives and mothers and successful career women, and be breadwinners in their families. And look like models until their INTO THEIR 70s. And it's not. &#9834; I can bring home the bacon &#9834; Reporter: It's no secret, women have been on a mission to prove themselves equal to men for decades, as seen in this classic 1978 perfume commercial. The editor and chief of "self" mag sooern. A wife and mother of two. This self-proclaimed feminist says it's important for women to own the choices they make. Every choice you make, is an opportunity. You're choosing one path, not another. And be okay with that. You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once. Reporter: Spar says there is one thing all women could probably agree with. Life is a juggling act. Your life is going to be messy. It's going to be complicated. And the earlier you can learn to sort of revel in that messiness, to admit that you're not perfect, that you're not going to excel across the board, the happier and the saner you'll be. Reporter: For "good morning america," paula faris, abc news, new york.

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