Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Anthony Weiner: Emerald Forest Syndrome?

I recently told someone that I wouldn’t touch this topic with a ten foot pole, but I’ve changed my mind. I suppose you could say that people like me, who used to be called “The Silent Majority” are no longer silent. We are now labeled “Fed Ups.” We just want things to work effectively and people that we elect to behave themselves and do a good job for us. We pay their salaries, right? We expect our money’s worth.

No matter what occupation one has, there are certain expectations. If you work for a company that has a dress code and you seek to succeed in your career there, you won't wear jeans to work. You tend to adapt to the culture, no matter what it might be. If you are an elected politician, you are expected to be dedicated to your job and keep your zipper up for four-to-eight years. We know its hard, but you have to deal with that. If you plan to fail, however, that’s a whole different scenario, like some politicians we all know.

The funny thing about political sex scandals is the culprit doesn’t expect to get caught. Keep in mind, however, that hidden somewhere deep in the recesses of the individual's mind, he or she really knows that they are always in the public eye via news media, and there is actually no place to hide.

I’m still not quite sure if some politicans wear horse blinders or are just plain stupid. Maybe they really think no one will notice personal misbehaviors?

I saw a movie like that once, where people ran around naked and didn’t think anyone noticed. It was called "The Emerald Forest." They applied some green paint and poof! they were invisible.

Maybe it’s a new mental health disorder that needs to be studied called Emerald Forest syndrome.

People with Emerald Forest Syndrome will take a public servant position for a certain number of years, knowing that news reporters, who are following them around all the time, are part of the package, and then, they self-destruct. Maybe the journalists with the cameras won’t see him going into the restaurant with a hoochie mama; after all, he applied the green paint before making the date. He will sexually harass his subordinates because he is in power and the subordinate needs the job and won’t tell anyone. Besides, he is wearing green paint. Pay no attention to the little guy behind the camera, there is always an alibi. After all, his boss, the ones who make payroll, the American tax payers, are oblivious. Besides, he is wearing green paint.

Only if caught red-handed will the Emerald Forest Syndrome sufferer call a public news conference, cry a lot, apologize, beg for forgiveness, and claim temporary insanity.

Recently, US Representative Anthony Weiner was called on the carpet for using social networking sites to send lewd photos of himself to strange women. Maybe he expected the Dallas Cheerleaders to jump on Twitter and RT his weiner...

Let's get physical
Let's get down,
get hard, get funk
And beat that other junk!

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About Me

Twitter: @rosevalenta Humor columnist.
Welcome to Rosie's Renegade Humor Blog. The word "Renegade" describes it all - seriocomic musings about current events, politics, sports, and humorous happenings from around the world. You know, "Skinny Dipping!"
I attend the bi-annual Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop at the University of Dayton, am one of the directors of the Robert Benchley Society, and the previous Membership Chair of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.
I wrote for a subsidiary of McGraw-Hill for 12 years, as a technical staff writer and freelanced for other industry publications. I took creative writing courses at Delaware Technical College and attended classes at the Philadelphia Improv Theater. Many of my articles are syndicated and have appeared in USA TODAY, Newsday.com, The Courier Post, The Wall Street Journal, and many other publications.

I am available for speaking engagements, please e-mail: ebww2014@comcast.net