South Kitsap Students 'Mix It Up' in the Name of Tolerance

Counselor Annie Kontos talks with students during Mix It Up at Lunch Day at Burley-Glenwood Elementary School in South Kitsap on Tuesday. To encourage them to expand their social groups, students were asked to sit with other kids born in the same month during their lunch period.
(MEEGAN M. REID | KITSAP SUN)

"Me and Gracie have the same exact birthday," said Brianna, tearing into a peanut butter sandwich.

The girls, both born April 28, 2001, were thrown together as the school took part in national Mix it Up at Lunch Day. Instead of their usual seating, students were asked to sit with others born in the same month.

Burley-Glenwood counselor Annie Kontos borrowed the idea from Teaching Tolerance, a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center that offers activities to increase young people's appreciation of diversity. The SPLC, founded in 1971, is dedicated to "fighting hate, teaching tolerance and seeking justice."

Nine years ago, when Kontos arrived, Burley-Glenwood was a "tough" school," where fights and bullying were all too frequent.

More than 35 percent of the student body is classified under federal guidelines as lower income. Ethnic diversity is relatively high for a rural school. About 15 percent of the students are non-white.

Kontos went on the offensive, bringing a message of tolerance to classrooms and implementing activities like Mix it Up Day throughout the year.

Her efforts are in line with South Kitsap School District's "Whole Child" philosophy. Superintendent Dave LaRose says the approach goes far beyond blanket policies.

"I guess I could send out an e-mail to everyone and say, ‘Be nice.' It's not that simple. You can't make a policy that enforces kindness."

According to LaRose, it's a matter of making connections one child at a time. It's the cumulative effect that eventually results in a culture shift.

So, how well did Mix it Up day go over?

Among younger students, the exercise was a certifiable success. Kids chattered away, obediently asking the ice-breaker questions Kontos had suggested. Many said they'd be hooking up with their new pals on the playground.

But some older students seemed lukewarm to the idea.

Katie Sicotte, a fifth grader, ended up at a table of all boys. She cast frequent glances over her shoulder at the friends with whom she usually eats. Asked to comment on Mix it Up Day, she said, "I'm not sure about it."

That's pretty typical, said Kontos, who tries to "brainwash" students before they enter the social minefield between grade school and high school.

By then, if students at South Kitsap High School are any indication, they've learned the rules of cafeteria seating that are unspoken, but clear. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, many say.

"For example, you see this table, a bunch of brown kids," said Don Majillo, sitting with a half dozen other Filipino students. "This is Brown Town. We're all close friends."

Being non-white gets you an automatic seat in Brown Town. Having a brown friend gives you an in, students in several groups explained.

"There's, like different areas for different social groups." Said C.J. Douty. "This is the jocks."

"I would say that's definitely a designated area over there," said Jacquelyn Valdez, sitting beside Douty and pointing to some tables elevated on a dias. "Those kids wear all black (clothes) and like chains."

At another table, a group of girls who usually sit together described themselves as the "pretty" group. They are also "outgoing, athletic, and goofy."

It's no surprise students gravitate toward people with like interests and appearances, most agreed. Yet overall, the school — with more than 2,000 students, nearly 20 percent non-white — is characterized by a live-and-let-live attitude.

"I think there's like a whole lot of cliques at our school, but they get along," said, Makayla Dean, one of the "pretty" girls.

Although they tend to sit with their friends, most students interviewed said they feel comfortable sitting with other groups. It's entirely possible, in fact, that concerned adults read too much into things like who sits with whom.

"They're always worried that we're bullying each other all the time, but there's no bullying, no racial tension," said Jennifer Torquato.

Other students reported isolated racial tension, mostly traceable to small groups or individuals.

"Last year was really bad," said June Oropel, recalling a handful of seniors who routinely voiced their racial bias.

"It's an ongoing challenge," said LaRose, referring to students and families who, despite the district's best efforts, feel disconnected and devalued. "It's heartbreaking when we're in situations where kids are not feeling good about themselves for any reason."

Among its efforts to promote tolerance, the district hosts a Builders of Unity Diversity and Multicultural Club. Branches of the club at the high school and its three junior highs are open to parents and students who want to increase multicultural awareness in schools and the community. For information, contact Bev Painter at painter@skitsap.wednet.edu.