That is one of those situations where I would have gone down to her desk, pulled the network cable out, and said to her "Really?" I don't know if she would appreciate it, but it would have made your day to see the look on her face.

I got almost the exact same message a few weeks ago. After trying to help the person with basic instructions on how to plug the cable back in, I had to drive out to the site (about 15 miles), only to find the ethernet cable plugged into a USB port on the back of the computer.