The sons of Scientology
Will offer no apology
Although their methodology
Smacks of "dictatology";
Their practice of theology
Is shrouded in cryptology;
They're versed in criminology,
And make threats of penology;
They're short on sociology,
And lack philanthropology;
A glimpse at their anthology
Reminds one of astrology;
They contravene biology,
And contradict technology;
Could it be their Scientology
Is founded on mythology?
And their vaunted Hubbardology
Is merely humbugology?