Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tiger , out of the Woods?? Not by a long shot!!

Tee for two ??

Tiger, Tiger burning bright!!Like countless Tiger Woods fans across the world, I was shocked out of my skull when I received a tweet which said Tiger had been seriously injured in an accident.It seemed plausible – anybody can get injured in a car crash. And the person does not have to be a reckless drunk. But as more details emerged about that crash, the story got spicier. Almost overnight, the golfing world’s God had revealed feet of clay! His perfect family man image lay in shambles, and the sequence of events leading up to the rescue, triggered off a series of nasty rumours involving a leggy blond, an enraged wife, sexting and more. It was just another made-for-tabloids story with shades of the O.J.Simpson scandal thrown in. To a lot of his shocked fans, Tiger had let them down by behaving like any other bratty sports star – what was the difference between him and Boris Becker? But for me, Tiger’s faux pas gave the robotic man a human dimension. I also found his website entries awfully cute and adorably immature. “I am embarrassed,’’ declared Woods, sounding more like an errant schoolboy forced to confess all, while being bashful about revealing intimate details. At the time of writing, Tiger was still sticking to a vague script and had not made himself available to law makers. Meanwhile, Rachel Uchitel,the leggy blond who got Woods into this mess, had jetted off to consult Gloria Alfred, a top lawyer, after tantalizing the waiting press by stating mysteriously, “ I wish I could say something, but I can’t.” What this probably means is that she’ll first pitch her story to the highest bidder, sell movie rights and then open her mouth! Neat. That leaves Tiger and his club -wielding wife Elin, who had once boasted that the two of them were spared by the gossip press since they are “kind of boring.” No longer! The racy account of their little outing at 02.30 in the morning, ended with Tiger having a lot of egg all over his face, to say nothing of scratch marks and other injuries. The jokes have been flying around the world ever since - “ What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at that crazy hour? They went clubbing!” This is a mild one. Unfortunately, people with as high a profile cannot afford to make even a single slip and hope admirers won’t notice. Tiger’s positioning over years has been that of an upright, focused professional, with no real interests outside his game and family. This sort of an impeccable reputation was imperative to a man who made serious money out of his image. Not for nothing had Woods attained the enviable position of being the richest sportsman in history. After this, it won’t be easy to watch his commercial currently playing across our tv channels, without sniggering.Will the present scandal impact his game… his endorsements… his earnings… his marriage ( yes, in that order?) . It remains to be seen. Even though we do live in a moralistic, hypocritical world which hastily passes judgement on superheroes stupid enough to get caught with their pants down, how can we forget Bill Clinton and how smoothly he survived adultery , plus impeachment charges and went on to make even more money as a global speaker? Dented, but never down. That’s America, did you say? No, that’s India, too. And most other countries as well. Adultery has obviously been downgraded. It is no longer such a big deal. Sure, Tiger’s fans will follow the story breathlessly while it is still hot. But the same people will also applaud enthusiastically if he shows up to compete in the Chevron Thousand Oaks, or any other championship.Though Woods watchers are also warning fans that it may not be such a cakewalk after all. Known for his discretion and reticence, Woods may just go into hiding for a while… at least till the scratches on his face heal. That will leave party organizer Uchitel and wronged wife, Elin, to slug it out. But this is one battle that may cost Woods a packet. If the sleazy story sticks,Elin will have to live on tenterhooks haunted by that old adage – a tiger can’t change his stripes. Tee for two, anyone? **********************The body count has gone up... and still counting, since this article was written. The lively glossies Down Under were carrying the most tantalising pics and stories on the scandal. Greg Norman's defence of Tiger did not find too many takers, however. But this much I can tell you, when we boarded the Qantas flight back home in Melbourne, my son Aditya, a golfing fanatic and ardent Tiger Woods fan , was carrying a magazine that featured Woods on the cover with the bold headline : 'SEX ADDICT'. Well, at least three men on the aircraft wanted to grab the magazine out of his hands , as they chuckled and gave a thumbs up sign. Tiger Woods - Closet Hero! Think of all the blokes who'd love to swap places with him, and you'll know what they say about men never growing up!!

Well, being from Africa where womanizing is in the normal scheme of things and polygamy legal (in South Africa—there is a sizable Indian community there, btw—President Jacob Zuma has three official first ladies, plus three common-law wives), I find this Tiger Woods hullabaloo quite intriguing… The French too… In fact, they find the so-called Woods’ scandal a symptom of American puritanical culture. I particularly liked this piece published in the French trendy ezine “Rue89” entitled “Golfer Tiger Woods, morals and sponsors” penned by Pierre Haski (one of the founders of the ezine). Excerpt from the article:

“An American phenomenon?There’s indeed something very American in this psychodrama where a private matter knocks from his pedestal an icon, though he has not proven himself unworthy in the field that made him into a celebrity: golf. All of a sudden, this lie to his wife turns into a lie to everyone, his fans, his public, his sponsor, his worshippers, who are no longer ready to tolerate the slightest flaw in the perfect statue that had been modeled by communication experts, by sponsors, by the medias.

And it’s without the slightest sense of modesty that Tiger Woods announces on his official website […] that henceforth he’ll work to be ‘a better husband, a better father, a better person.’ It’s moving, but how is that supposed to be our concern? Why tell it to the whole world?

Americans are fascinated by the ease with which on this side of the Atlantic, we effortlessly close our eyes on these reasonable accommodations with established morals, from François Mitterrand’s ‘two wives’ attending his funerals to the conjugal problems of the current president, not to mention those of the IMF boss, Dominique Strauss-Khan, who felt the wind of the cannonball of American Puritanism dart past him last year.

Had Tiger Woods been French, he would have made the front page of [tabloid] Voici, but would by no means have stopped golfing."

Why do I follow the Tiger Woods story so avidly... apart from the abundant lowest common denominator cheap thrills entertainment factor; there is the truth that Tigers falling brand value will atleast temporarily affect your and my wallet.

Tiger has been more than just a rich sportsman, he has been a whole economy onto himself. My buying and saving capacity is tied into the products that Tiger endorses or the support industries for golf and the support industries for the support industries, all the way to the TV channels I watch and the poor miner somewhere who mines the iron ore to make the steel that goes into those Tag heuer watches! Heck when my wallet is involved, you bet I am interested and have every right to make bad jokes at his expense. It is not just about morality or lack there of. When money is involved along with a few giggles everyone is interested. I dont think the men on the plan were just viewing him as a bad boy golfing hero.

This happened back in the days when she was Shobha Rajadhyaksha, and had just met Dilip De. Dilip De was a famous industrialist, and had some kids from his previous wife. Shobha herself had just been divorced from her first husband, and had kids from him too. At this time, she had already made a name for herself, first as a model, and then as the editor of nari Hira's brainchild - Stardust magazine.

Shobha was one of the most famous ladies in Bombay and Dilip De was a prize catch with truckloads of money from his shipping business.

Dilip saw Shobha and fell in love with her. After some days of wooing, she fell for him as well. For Shobha, he was a great catch indeed. Her first marriage had been a failure because the hubby was a complete loser. With Dilip, things could not go wrong. even if he eventually proved to be disappointing in other departments, his money and status was going to stay.

Shobha was thrilled she had found the ideal mr moneybags. Dilip was thrilled he had found a trophy wife who could pretend to be intelligent.

But common friends always knew that the gainer in the relationship was Shobha Rajadhyaksha. Dilip could find many such trophy wives, but Shobha, given her reputation, would find it tough to get such a great husband.

Shobha herself knew how lucky she was. She often expressed the same to her friends. The courtship was going well and a date for the wedding fixed.

Then disaster struck!!!

Dilip De was kidnapped!!!!!

One evening, as the shipping magnate was stepping off his luxury launch on to Gateway of India, four masked men in a black fiat swooped on him, and carried him away.

There was panic in the De household. Shobha could not stop crying. Life was going so well. Why did this have to happen?

No one knew who the kidnappers were. Some rumours blamed an israeli gang, others said it was a jealous Greek tycoon who was behind it. For many days, no communication for ransom was received. Everyone was confused. Rumours were rife that the kidnappers were negotiating directly with the Indian government, and that their demands were not monetary.

Shobha was crestfallen. Her knight-in-shining-limo had been stolen from her, and there seemed to be no way she could get him back. Her friends stayed with Shobha night and day to make sure that she didn't take any drastic steps.

Days went by, with no word about Dilip De. Shobha had almost given up on his return. the press forgot the story, and the public too lost interest. It seemed like Shobha's perfect man had been snatched from her by destiny and faceless international criminals.

Then, three months after the kidnapping, a black fiat was seen speeding towards Gateway of India. It stopped, and out fell a tired and bruised Dilip De. The staff of the Taj Hotel recognised him and contacted the authorities. Dilip De was shaken, bruised, but unhurt.

Shobha was asleep when this news broke in the media. Her friends rushed over to her house with champagne, flowers, and chocolates. They knew she will be thrilled at Dilip's return.

They also got a special banner made, and stood outside her house. Shobha opened the door, and her friends unfurled the banner, uncorked champagne, and shouted out the very words that were written on the banner in bold cursive red letters -

Hmm Welcome back...so Mumbai is same as you left it? It is said that immediately after this scandal Accenture canceled its contract wid Woods. Few more brands He endorsed too backed out. But the point is.....is a Brand Ambassador continuously under radar? He has to keep both his personal n professional lives clean?

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