Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

The ick

Tuesday nite, like a ton of bricks, I felt like crap. I was fine, fine, and then a switch went off, had a headache, congested and exhausted like someone zapped my ass. Wednesday, no better and then I saw a weather report - POLLEN is at it's highest point all year! Great, so what I had was not the ick just an extreme case of vaginitis, er, allergies. I thought I was going down for the count, felt like someone hit me over the head with a sledge hammer. Thankfully, not. Blasted allergies kicking my arse all over town. Time to blast out the sinuses with some saline. I like to call it the nasal douche. Force some saline mix up the schnoz and it comes out the other side. If you're lucky, you'll get a prize, a little piece of lint or string or something. Tis the season for a regular nasal douche! Bless it!

Needless to say, we'll just have to call it noWorkout Wednesday. I did, however, have the pleasure of catching Jerry Springer - how IS that still on TV? Something about transvestites and baby momma and such. Who knows. It's all an act but how can you even bother? I also saw a portion of Daisy of Love (taken after the Rock of Love Bus). I'm a trash tv fan but even I couldn't watch. Dr. Phil had a girl on there that had a severe case of ineedtoeatacheeseburger and I never made it to Ofra. What a day, aren't you glad you asked?

I got a message from Blondie that made me laugh...

The psych ward called and said someone showed up drunk, wearing a thong and riding a goat. I'm gonna come get you but this shit has to stop! I love my friends. They know how to make me laugh.

You just have to know that half your readers looked at the title of your blog, and paused. Paused with the coffee cup half way to their mouth. Put it down, and swallowed whatever was in progress. AND THEN opened your blog to read it. Meanwhile, their imagination was running rampant, which is a tough thing to deal with first thing in the morning.

You did that deliberately, you little devil you!

Saline is salt water. The Calgary pools use a salt water system. So why isn't the effect the same?

Sorry about the allergies. They get bad here, too. And I'm right there with you on the trash tv. My husband use to make fun of me because I so looked forward to being off the week of Christmas so I could watch all the trash tv.

"said someone showed up drunk, wearing a thong and riding a goat." What, no picture? It would make one heck of a "Semi-Wordless Wednesday" shot. And was it a dude or a gal. I'm guessing a dude. This would make a great bit for Reno 911.

Force some saline mix up the schnoz and it comes out the other side. If you're lucky, you'll get a prize, a little piece of lint or string or something. Tis the season for a regular nasal douche! Bless it! ...

"I like to call it the nasal douche. Force some saline mix up the schnoz and it comes out the other side. If you're lucky, you'll get a prize, a little piece of lint or string or something." Blog comment of the week!

Hey feel better asap! Allergies are just downright awful. Yeah, I hear you on that Daisy of Love... I managed to stomach less than 5 minutes before turning away from the TV in disgust. As for Jerry Springer? The man never ages. How about doing a show about THAT. Somehow the transvestites with baby-momma-I'm-really-your-cousin-drama seems more exciting. Well that, or anything to do with Steve. Eeks? Did I just admit to knowing the body guard's name?

IronMissy - it's official!

Enough about me, what do you think about me?

I'm not really great at swimming, biking or running...I'm just OK at all three! Hell, I pretty much just ride for fun and run for the company any more. I have dogs instead of kids and think that all my friends WITH kids are saints. I write as though I'm talking so forgive my "proper" use of grammar.