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For Such A Time As This Rally 2020https://futuristguy.wordpress.com/2020/06/02/for-such-a-time-as-this-rally-2020/
Tue, 02 Jun 2020 16:10:35 +0000http://futuristguy.wordpress.com/?p=10948Continue reading →]]>

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS VIRTUAL RALLY 2020.For 20 years I’ve watched to see what SBC individuals and institutions would do in dealing with issues of systemic abuse. I’ve posted what research I could, sounded the alarm when I felt I should.

SBC systems, leaders, and stewards demonstrate evidence of extensive and historic corrosion by power and complacency about all forms of abuse. Specific situations have been documented for decades by abuse survivors, and the extent of it was also exposed in 2019 by the #AbuseOfFaith series by the Houston Chronicle/San Antonio Express investigative reporting team.

Before the #SBC19 annual meeting, I concluded the SBC had only a year left–through June 2020 and #SBC20–to prove any substantive movement institutionally on #SBCToo and abuse. Despite a few steps forward, it did double steps backward. In light of this, I am asking these question:

* Is this the SBC’s “Ichabod moment”?

* Has any glory that was there departed because of refusal to minister to the needs of a large segment of church and community who’ve been traumatized by sexual abuse (1 in 3 women, 1 in 4 men)?

* After decades of systemic complacency *institutionally* about abuse — regardless of what individuals and particular churches do — why should we trust SBC entities purportedly doing anything about it from here on out?

* What must they do to prove genuine repentance and change on their long-standing abuse situation?

For research documentation, analysis, and resource links, see SBC Abuse Solutions website.

Meanwhile, as an encouragement in the midst of what may seem like immovable odds …

Each of us can contribute something important to the larger picture of being an abuse survivor, advocate, or activist; a trauma-informed counselor, minister, or organizational developer — whether it’s providing pieces of the puzzle, sharing peace in the struggles, even getting pizzas for the huddles! Let’s learn, transform, serve.

Your tweet reminded of something I posted a year ago, just before #SBC19 annual meeting, so I found it. I believed the SBC had only a year left — through June 2020 and #SBC20 — to demonstrate substantive movement institutionally on #SBCToo and abuse. /1https://t.co/i7SQ0D7B9w

Now we see this–along with other regressive turns in recent months by those promoted as exemplary SBC pastors and leaders who embody the values of the largest US Protestant denomination. SHOW me I was wrong in June 2019, if you can and if you even care about abuse survivors. /3

As best I can understand after years of research writing on the dynamics of abusive individuals and toxic institutions, it's not merely that SBC optics are bad and need to be revisioned. It's that the systemics that are corroded, apparently beyond repair. /4

I am a futurist. I watch cultural horizons to discern as best I can what is changing the horizon of plausibility for churches and ministries. I attempt to understand trends that no one can control and that we must survive, and what it takes for sustainability in the long haul. /5

I'm generally positive about forging pathways ahead because I search for what's optimal & preferable in the midst of a challenging set of circumstances & trends–not a perfect/clean path. But I admit, my hope now for positive SBC futures is near extinguished. Is this Ichabod? /6

A significant level of my research writing work involves developing *qualitative* indicators of impact–both constructive & destructive–by individuals & institutions. Those patterns I noted 2 years ago can be expanded out to trackable specifics, demonstrated by case studies. /A

I've witnessed some stellar SBC leaders show by consistent words & deeds they truly care well for survivors of all forms of abuse. But too many notorious cases where notable leaders flaunt power & faulty theologies of "reconciliation" & "restoration." They perpetuate #SBCToo. /B

Key indicators & +/- patterns give abuse survivors & congregants alike an objective way to track which are which: exemplary leaders or apparent poseurs, when it comes to humility, integrity, and consistency in listening to survivor communities and ministering among them. /C

So, my core conclusions after 30+ years in SBC churches: SBC *SYSTEM* is not safe for or sensitive to abuse/violence victims, doesn't show scale of concern needed to tip toxicities of their system toward health, merely wants SBC power structures to survive, is not sustainable. /D

If you're interested in foundational ideas & concept frameworks behind those indicators, see this link & section on **Essentials #9–Six “S” Indicators of “Success”.** (Overview slide attached.) This is key part of my last 15 years of development work. /Ehttps://t.co/TLNcHUFV9npic.twitter.com/P8435hNgQh

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes – screenshot of Scholastic Press product page

PREPARING THE WAY FOR A HUNGER GAMES PREQUEL!

It’s been 10 years since the release of Mockingjaycompleted The Hunger Games series. As a student of malignant leaders and toxic organizations, I was engrossed by the insightful ways author Suzanne Collins wove truths about social control and trauma throughout the narratives.

Her series gives us a rich source to mine on abuse, resistance, and resilience. I posted an analysis of how those features fit with Robert Jay Lifton’s eight criteria for identifying a “cult” of “totalist psychology” control. This series includes discussion questions for abuse survivors, people in their support network, and organizational developers. My hope is these questions will help build bridges among these audiences.

I also developed a Hunger Games reference fansite for the book and film series. Check it out for links to sources for the books, audiobooks, movies, games, and related materials for study. What have been social impacts of the series? Do you think some fan items may have contributed to over-the-top Capitol-type consumerism?

And now, a prequel novel will be released on Tuesday, May 19th. We can at last return to the nation of Panem, this time to the roots of Districts’ rebellion and The Hunger Games, and the origin story of Panem’s eventual president, Coriolanus Snow. What The Hunger Games did for us in exploring the range of social control tactics, perhaps the prequel(s) will do for us in displaying the route someone takes to complete the searing of their conscience in choosing the pathology of power.

NOTE: As I rummage around online and find other details to add, I’ll include them here without additional notice.

EDITOR INTERVIEW

Scholastic Press editor David Levithan worked with author Suzanne Collins on The Hunger Games trilogy and this prequel novel. This BookPage Q&A article gives some of his perspective on that process.

Levithan also appears in some of the special features on The Hunger Games movie. Check out “The World is Watching” and “Featurettes” sections on The Hunger Games, halfway down this page on the Movies Quadrilogy and Bonus Features Lists. Clips from interviews with Levithan and others from Scholastic Press are woven into some of the features.

BOOK AND AUDIOBOOK EXCERPTS

Once Scholastic Press announced there would be a prequel, there was much speculation as to exactly when, where, and who would be central to its storyline. (I’d especially hoped Mags would figure into this, as she could be from one of the earliest Hunger Games.) Finally, a tantalizing few pages from the first chapter of Balladwere released this January, letting us know that Coriolanus Snow was key to the plot. You can read that here, at Entertainment Weekly’s book section.

There were more surprises to come — I just listened to an 11-minute audiobook excerpt from chapter one that was posted only this week. I had wondered who else beside Snow would show up in the cast of characters. But the audiobook excerpt had a significant character reveal in the first 75 seconds! Listen for yourself and hear who it is …

PRE-ORDER SOURCES AND EXTRAS

There are at least two exclusive book editions also available from North American sources: Barnes and Noble, and Target.

The B&N exclusive edition contains the transcript of an interview editor David Levithan conducted with Suzanne Collins. It also has a discussion guide. Note the video at the bottom of the B&N product page for Balladfor details from Levithan on an upcoming online discussion May 29th for B&N’s Young Adult Book Club. [ISBN 9781338674453.]

The Target exclusive edition is hardcover (as is the B&N edition). It includes “Bonus Exclusive Content. Collectible In-World Panem Poster.” Pre-orders are already sold out as of May 15th, so, on release date, check back on the product page for availability. [UPC 191907348149.]

I suspected other items are part of pre-order packages at various stores, and sure enough! These include: bookmark (Walmart), and for independent booksellers, some combination of exclusive songbird patch (such as shown on the Children’s Book World pre-order), temporary tattoo (Changing Hands Booklover Care Package), and/or bookmark. There is also an exclusive limited edition tote bag available as part of a pre-order package, but this seems to be just from European booksellers, such as Easons. Many pre-order packages are already sold out as of May 15th, but these add-on items may appear on eBay or other secondary markets eventually. [Click on image for full-screen view.]

AUDIOBOOK SOURCES

Just last month (April 8th), a Scholastic Press news release noted that “Tony Award-winning actor Santino Fontana will narrate the audio book edition of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.” From the recently-posted audiobook excerpt, sounds like he was an excellent choice.

MOVIE / LIONSGATE

Lionsgate — which produced The Hunger Games movie series — announced April 21st that a film based on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakesis already in the works. It features the same creative team as The Hunger Games movie series, with Francis Lawrence directing. The Wrap has one of the most extensive movie industry articles about that announcement.

THE UNDERLAND CHRONICLES

In case you want to read more from author Suzanne Collins, or know children for whom The Hunger Games series is too mature, consider Collins’ earlier five-book series, The Underland Chronicles. It is likewise available in print and audio editions. You’ll find publication details, links, and online resources on this Underland Chronicles case study page. I find it as fascinating of plotlines for middle-readers as THG is for young adults.

Battle-waging is about survivability; peace-building is about sustainability.

As we shift from dealing with the current Covid-19 pandemic into a longer-term endemic situation, we face a crucial issue in leadership approaches: We need two leadership types simultaneously—crisis management that battles for survivability plus continuity planning that builds for sustainability.

For our society to make the best of it and succeed in both sets of endeavors, we need perspectives from the diverse range of domains affected, and interdisciplinary work teams to develop integrated response practices and preparedness plans.

These teams must collaborate, not compete. Otherwise, we will lose on both fronts if we battle against science and/or each other instead of against this virus, and if we fail to build strategically for our most preferable futures.

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SERIES OVERVIEW

In this series on Pandemics, I plan to post concept frameworks and resource media (books, DVDs, games, simulation, teamwork exercises) that I find helpful in interpreting our current situation, forging productive pathways forward, and training toward both survivability and sustainability.

I’ve already been working to break down this seemingly massive, messy situation into smaller, understandable chunks of information – and find combinations of resources at introductory and intermediate levels that cover the core issues. Think of it as a “pandemic MRI” that takes a 3-dimensional reality and breaks it into a series of interconnected layers.

NOTE ABOUT TAKING QUESTIONS: I am not fielding questions at this time, as I am in the process of relocating. And, if I do take questions in the future, just so you know, I am more likely to respond with discussion that prioritizes big-picture issues and critical thinking skills.

For instance, you could expect something along the lines of, “You asked me what I think about [NAME/FIELD OF REPUTED EXPERTISE]. What criteria do you believe we should use in discerning the truthfulness and reliability of what anyone in the field of expertise says? Why/Where did you get those criteria? What do you see as gaps or excesses in the evaluation framework that seems to be in use commonly these days, in discussions about that person and their topic area?”

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BACKGROUND

For over 30 years, a significant part of both my paid work and ministry has involved researching available resources on particular issues, curating collections of books and other media, and developing resources to fill in gaps. These tend to be long-term projects. For instance, I focused my research on topics in cultural studies and subculture social movements for 5 years, HIV/AIDS ministry for 10 years, and systemic abuse and toxic institutions for 15 years.

On some topics, I research for a while and then drop them until perhaps years later and then go another level deeper. One such area surrounds issues in biohazards, medical treatment systems, and pandemics. In a 2014 post, I used triage for injuries and illnesses as a metaphor for identifying and dealing with malignant individuals and toxic systems. I’ve also edited grant proposals and professional journal articles on medical research, applied epidemiology, and public health since the mid-2000 decade.

I jumped back into biohazard studies in September 2019 for writing more in-depth materials about healthy versus abuse-infected organizational systems. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic emerged in early 2020, I already had a small collection of resources gathered, and have been expanding it with select materials ever since:

DVDs–documentaries and dramas about dealing with viral outbreaks.

BOOKS– pandemic perspectives from such fields as epidemiology, virology, public health, mental health, government and NGOs (all levels from local to global), ethics and legal issues, economics and business infrastructures, churches and other religious entities, strategic foresight and continuity planning.

Because I’ve been developing training materials on robust versus unhealthy leaders and organizational systems, I suspect my research on pandemic resources will continue for some years to come.

* * * * * * *

SURVIVABILITY AND SUSTAINABILITY

My long-time friend Alan Cross tweeted late yesterday (May 13) with something that really caught my attention and sparked a series of tweets as I synthesized things I’d been thinking about for a while. Here is Alan’s tweet, followed by my thread (unedited other than to restore words that were abbreviated in the tweets, and embed links).

If this is true, we're going to have to figure out ways to live with this as safely as possible. That means that neither total shutdown nor going back to "normal" are answers. We're going to have to creatively pursue a new normal. We won't find that by agitating for Feb2020. https://t.co/XxkmptY5iP

BRAD: As I’m discovering in periodic forays into resources already available, much material was developed in the 2000 and 2010 decades on issues and processes to address as an outbreak shifts to an epidemic, to a pandemic, to endemic. Key: multiple layers and players to engage. 1

Some issues/layers have to be dealt with simultaneously, others in sequence.

Wonder if seminaries/leadership training institutions and programs are up for taking systems approaches to all of this — and how the Church serves in the midst of the mess — and also training leaders in skills in creativity and sustainability. Not our forte, but now a key need. 5

Whenever possible while doing resource searches on issues, I look for board games, role-play games, teamwork exercises. These often incorporate core elements in the situations, organized in such a way that they simulate reality (scaled down) and call for creative problem solving. 6

For intriguing input on how to deal with combinations of clinical/medical, political, economic, infrastructure, and social dynamics we now face — check out every single item in Z-Man Games’ Pandemic line. Most are collaborative: We ALL win or we ALL lose. 7

Check out the “Learn More” section for each game. Look at the rules, the situations that need solving, how different roles and areas of expertise are called forth in various phases. Look at the *Contagion* game for how pathogens–not politics–set the real agenda in a pandemic. 8

I’ll eventually post my research frameworks and resource findings for long-term success in the eventual endemic Covid.

Last thought for now: One ancient European tribe was led by a council of elders. In times of war they chose one person as their battle chief. When peace came… 9

they *required* the battle chief to step aside and someone else chosen as primary leader. Why? They knew the leadership skills needed in times of war were different from those in times of peace.

<< Battle-waging is about survivability; peace-building is about sustainability. >> 10

Key difficulty of our own times is we need both leadership types simultaneously–battling for survivability plus building for sustainability. We lose on both fronts if we battle against science &/or each other instead of against this virus, and fail to build for optimal futures. 11

In the long run, what counts is how the next generation thinks. How far new ideas permeate culture is not measured just by attitude change during one generation, but by what is taken for granted in the next.

We find ourselves today at Earth Day 50. How does what Dr. Haste said over 25 years ago apply to where we find ourselves today, in terms of ecological awareness?

I was a freshman in high school when we had the first Earth Day in April 1970. It heightened my awareness of problems caused by mismanagement of nature, pollution, and other issues affecting our eco-systems. That year, our English literature class read Rachel Carson’s now-classic volume on the effects of pollution, Silent Spring. The next year, I participated in a summer environmental internship program. It was a hands-on experience, with projects that included working with U.S. Forest Service scientists to survey sample areas of a post-fire regrowth for counts of returning plant species.

The year after that, I entered an essay contest where the topic was, “Is environmental pollution a problem in our communities, and why?” (Keep in mind, this was over 45 years ago, and such questions about pollution and solutions were still under debate back then.) My essay won a scholarship that covered a full year’s college tuition, and at one point, I strongly considered a degree program in urban planning, but ended up going in other directions with my studies. But I never lost my interest in ecological systems and issues.

When the Turner Network TV series for Captain Planet and the Planeteers was launched in 1990. That year coincided with the second major celebration of Earth Day — the previous 20 years having focused on local work on preserving and improving our environment. I was intrigued to see how the series might inspire next generations to be concerned for environmental sustainability. Here’s a summary of the series and the underlying themes that it conveyed.

In the late 1990s, I started collecting various Captain Planet items, focusing on press kits and official promotional materials because I was mostly interested in the thinking behind the TV series and how toys, games, media, and other items would be used to engage kids in eco-learning activities. Here are the covers of other VHS cassettes I collected back in the day.

A Hero for Earth

Given my futurist bent, I occasionally test out what impact such media on the eco-mindedness in younger generations than my Boomer upbringing. for instance, if I happen to break into singing the Captain Planet theme song (written by Phil Collins. Yes, Boomer Buddies — THAT Phil Collins!) in a mixed-generation group, people of a certain age are likely to sing along (here are the lyrics), as this series was a formative part of their mindset on ecology.

Or I might hold up my arm like one of the five global Planeteers and say, “By your powers combined …” and see who responds with the same action and completes the statement: “… I am Captain Planet!”

Gi (South Korea) and the power of water.

Linka (Russia) and the power of wind.

Kwame (Ghana) and the power of earth.

Ma-Ti (Brazil) and the power of heart.

Wheeler (American) and the power of fire.

Protecting the resources of earth for a better present and future for all requires collaboration — it can’t be a competition. And, since all people everywhere are eventually affected by damage to the environment anywhere, we need concerned people from all regions of the world to be involved. We ARE interconnected, whether we realize it or not, and we need to cooperate for a positive outworking of that interdependence. These are essential issues in an organic system, and doing what it takes for the earth’s biosystems to last beyond the next generation …

I created my Captain Planet and the Planeteer Notes fansite in 2016 as a reference for the TV series, and related press information and licensed products. One never knows who might stumble across it, and thus their interest in eco-futures beyond this Earth Day will end up making a difference for a more sustainable environment for our shared futures!

As of April 4, 2020, there is still a limited time 40% discount if you order the print book directly from the publisher (use the code JUDGE40 at checkout). The eBook edition in still under production, and an audiobook edition — read by Tim Fall himself — is forthcoming.

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[Click on “slides” and images for full-screen view.]

It is not often that I hear about a new book and sense that I should read and review it, perhaps even be on the author’s launch team. But that’s what has happened with Running for Judge by Tim Fall – which makes this review series only the seventh time in over 10 years.

The subtitle on Tim’s book is, Campaigning on the Trail of Despair, Deliverance, and Overwhelming Success. He describes it as a “mental health memoir,” dealing with anxiety and depression, and notes on the back cover that a quarter of our population contends with one or both of these. So, Tim’s topics definitely are relevant.

But what exactly contributed to turning my attention to this newly released book and led me to investing myself to review it? Oftentimes, the leading of the Holy Spirit has a lot of fuzziness – even mystery – to it, and the why-to’s and where-for’s emerge later (if at all). Sometimes the reasons seem more immediate and clear. This seems to be a combination of those polarities.

* * * * * * *

REASON #1: THE AUTHOR

First off is Tim Fall himself. I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been following his social media accounts, but it’s at least a few years. I appreciate how he is kind and respectful to commenters, even when they don’t exactly act that way toward him and/or others in the thread. He’s got great wisdom and a good sense of humor, and is holistic instead of reductionistic when it comes to what it means to be human. He’s also got a strong sense of justice – which you’d expect would comes across, given the fact that he is a judge and also teaches on judicial ethics.

The way I see it, he’s a role model of embodying the Golden Rule. So, he makes it easy to want to read what he writes. You should follow Tim. Here are links to his Facebook and Twitter accounts.

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REASON #2: THE TIMES

Second are some of those more “squishy,” mystical, and futurist elements, all wrapped up in one word: providence. Mental health memoirs are timely. There are things in them that the Body of Christ as a whole needs right now.

I’ve worked in and around various “recovery ministries” since the mid-1980s. So, issues of mental health/illness have been on my radar for a while. It seems to me that a trickle of Christian books about mental health, self-care, abuse/trauma recovery, and the like have turned into a wave over the past 10 years or so. This has become an even stronger trend since late 2017, with the advent of the #MeToo hashtag social movement.

Are we at a tipping point on breaking through the glass ceiling on this? There does seem to be far greater awareness of issues related to mental health and illness these days – and of many Christian-ish approaches that are not merely unhelpful but actually harmful to those with such challenges and to those who try to offer support. Also, more books are available that balance compassion for those who suffer with critique for biblical-sounding but burdensome techniques: legalistic, formulaic, Gnostic, reductionist. Tim’s book seems to be exactly on target “for such a time as this …”

* * * * * * *

REASON #3: MY OWN AND MY FRIENDS’ ISSUES

Third, I’ve got issues – no surprise there – from both my own emotional/spiritual brokenness, plus from organic and situational causes. My ongoing battle against depression at times has raged in riptides and other times ebbed back, over decades of dealing with multiple chronic physical illnesses.

But I’ve also been connected with numerous people who deal with significant mental illness issues. These include men and women, across multiple generations, in circles of close friends all the way to mere acquaintances. Sadly, I’ve lost several of them when they took their own life.

Most of these connections have ultimately proven compassionate and constructive. They may be dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, dementia, depression in mild to severe forms, dissociative identity disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, paranoia, and schizophrenia. And these I know from talking with my friends about it, and/or having them as housemates so I saw what it was like on a daily basis. And most of these are years-long relationships, not outside “drive-by diagnoses.”

A very few have been repulsing and destructive, from experiences with the people involved – mostly classic-profile abusive leaders who indulge in the toxic tactics typical of those with anti-social and narcissistic personality disorder. Some of them not only agitated the mental illness in others and made their issues worse, but they attempted to deny their victims from receiving solid, professional care and personal support.

* * * * * * *

So, my extensive experiences leave me with a lot of questions about how we define mental health/illness, how to offer wise and empathic support to who suffer, what kinds of counseling approaches are legitimately helpful or eventually harmful and why, what to do with insidious people who purposely inflict abuse on others or who marginalize those with mental health problems. Questions are good. I may not get the answers I hope for, but usually find myself closer to the Answerer.

I don’t have any formal plan or fixed timetable for how I’ll approach reading and reviewing Running for Judge. I’ll probably just write about what strikes me and why, and at the end distill that down into a review to post on bookseller sites. But from the commendable character of Tim Fall and the apparent leading of the Spirit to read his book, I trust I’ll find good fruit from my interaction with the topics he shares.

Yes, I started my blog on April Fool’s Day, in 2003. So now I’ve been blogging for 17 years.

Futuristguy has been my main blog since 2007. But I’ve posted numerous other blogs — some that I still update, some that are archived, some (all of my Inknoise sites) that got digitally decimated by black hat hackers. If you’re interested in seeing what’s what, here are the lists and descriptions of my content blogs and media/fansite blogs.

I’ve always liked multiple forms of media, from games to comics and music and movies and more, so those have been important ways for me to collect, engage with, and learn from things other than books. So expect to see another media-related site or two to come, and more filling in of gaps when time and energy let me get photos or scans and write descriptions.

Anyway, early this morning, to celebrate the day, I reread my previous posts about blogiversary milestones. Here is the list of them in order, along with some quotes that struck me as intriguing, and my commentary on what I’m rereading about my blogging history.

Thanks for reading my blog(s), and I hope you continue to find items of interest as time goes on!

* * * * * * *

If you want to read one post that captures the espresso of my blogging life, this one is it. The Frodo Syndrome revolves around “WabiSabi” themes of living in between two worlds or two generations or two paradoxically opposite sides, trying to integrate the oppositions, and dealing with the inevitable grief that surfaces — and yet maintaining hope, becoming as generous as possible, and equipping whosoever will in next generations especially.

When I wrote this in 2003, I identified mostly with Frodo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings. (Nowadays, I identify more with his faithful friend and superhero sidekick Samwise Gamgee, but that’s another story.) This quote hit me in this morning’s review of that post, in a section that quotes from the Peter Jackson movie of Fellowship of the Ring, and the interactions between Galadriel and Frodo.

As a member of the older generation, I find these to hold the essence of that kind of Kingdom wabisabi work that we find ourselves in the midst of doing: Preserve what needs to be remembered, but to leave the next generation with flexibility to transform their landscape as they find it, and to extend our story with their own. So, in that quest to transfer Kingdom reins to next generations, how will we let our Holy Father, His Son, and His Spirit work in our lives to redeem the melancholy we experience in the transition from modern to postmodern and beyond?

I had not read The Frodo Syndrome in a while. So, this morning, what it helped me see is that most of my writing life for the last 30 years has involved describing the times I’ve lived in, archiving whatever seemed to call for it (regardless of whether it turns out widely meaningful to people later or not), and letting it go while lifting up next generations in the Church who can adapt those resources for the times in which they find themselves.

That last part — the stewardship involved in letting it go while lifting up next generations — has stuck with me all morning. Frodo Baggins received the Red Book of Westmarch from Bilbo, who wrote in it about his “There and Back Again” adventures as a Hobbit. Frodo wrote in it about “The Lord of the Rings,” and gave it to Samwise Gamgee to fill in the rest with whatever would come next after Frodo had sailed to the Undying Lands of Valinor.

The last few years since turning 60, I’ve increasingly seen that my main role now is to curate what I’ve learned, and pass that along as a potential resource to whoever comes along next who feels called to build upon the themes therein.

I also realized that most of the books I have reviewed in the last 10 years have been by men and women who represent next-generation pathfinders in the Way of Jesus. They are vision carriers of themes I found dear, and I am thankful for the opportunity to showcase the deep work they’ve put into their spiritual formation and in sharing what wisdom they’ve curated from biblical truth applied to their situations.

* * * * * * *

Sometimes it’s a good thing to review from whence we’ve come, because it’s a trail of telling stories about who God’s made us to be … And hey, the milestone on blogging is cool, but the larger understanding of self and others I’ve gained through blogging is the real achievement – – no joke!

Thanks Andrew, Shannon, Jessica, and my other blogging instigator friends. Your gentle pushes in this direction have ultimately helped me better “get it” about who I am, and blogging has given me something constructive to keep me focused when energy was in short supply. I am grateful …

* * * * * * *

I started up blogging on April 1, 2003, mostly because the good people leading the WabiSabi event in Austin, Texas, felt I needed to. That event was to bring together polar opposites and maintain the paradox in order to bridge the gaps between older generations with younger, men and women, emerging paradigms with conventional. Afterwards, some of the key organizers told me enough talk, now write. They included Andrew Jones, Shannon Hopkins, and Jessica Stricker.

* * * * * * *

[H]aving the strong conviction that we intellectuals should not take ourselves too seriously, I decided to inaugurate my blog curate on April 1st, 2003. Not that I expected everything I wrote to be, uhh, funny. Or punny. Or even noteworthy. It was just a journey that I’d have to see how it unfolded.

* * * * * * *

I purposely picked April Fool’s Day to launch, just because my life so frequently seems like it’s at the edge of silly. Or over the edge into the absurd, actually.

I’ve gone through different phases in the kinds of things I’ve written about. I suppose that’s normal for babybloghood. But ultimately, I’ve come to see my blog as an archive for my research and analysis on missional movements, spiritual abuse and recovery, and sustainable organizational development. I’m glad I’ve done this, and I intend to continue to process my experiences and observations online.

When my blog turned 13, I invited my long-time friend Andrew Jones to write something about that. (Would that be a “blog mitzvah” present?) After all, he was one of the key people who encouraged me to write. This is an excerpt of what he wrote, with the “ten years” referring to my futuristguy WordPress blog:

Those themes have characterized much of my writing since 2007: spiritual abuse and recovery, toxic organizations and remediation, descriptions of current movements and trends that are shaping our common future. These are my own “Frodo Syndrome” melancholy issues in which to find the redemptive edge of what I’ve experienced.

The good Lord willing, and my mind and energy hold out, I will complete curating and archiving that mountain of material into the four-volume Futuristguy’s Field Guides by my 20th blogiversary. (Sidenote: I estimate that between half to two-thirds of all the first drafts of concepts in those four books were posted on my blogs.) Here’s the section on “The Field Guide Training Series in a Nutshell.”

I’m posting that excerpt because it strikes me how much the DNA I expressed my origins blog post in 2003 has carried through for nearly two decades. There really is something to the notions of spiritual and cultural DNA … It also highlights the importance of perseverance. I’m reminded of the personal beatitude I wrote during a six-month exploration into the Beatitudes we had at The Hearth, the house church I was part of during the time I began writing about my spiritual abuse experiences and what I’d processed about them over the years:

“Blessed are the tenacious, for they will eventually reach the summit,

and be able to turn and see the valleys from whence God has brought them.”

[My personal Beatitude, written in the months our church dove deep into Matthew 5.]

I hope you likewise find yourself equipped, empowered, and encouraged over time to find or craft a positive sense purpose despite whatever suffering you experience … Such “meaning making” is a facet of post-traumatic growth, crucial to resilience, recovery, and resistance against further trauma and its agents.

* * * * * * *

I specifically chose April Fools Day as the milestone moment to take up blogging. It just seemed right, especially after all the talk of paradox at the Wabi Sabi gathering. That “postmodern” ministry event emphasized the juxtaposition of young and old, fresh and practiced, broken and redeemed. It was a natural metaphor for so much of what I end up writing about: finding a redemptive edge in the midst of suffering. […]

I’ve been writing for over 30 years, but this season of 15 years blogging has taken me in other directions as I learned to process publicly what I was experiencing and reflecting about in real time. My main blogs – futuristguy and beyondposthuman before that – have tracked my transitions from “emerging” ministry to missional, and from church planting to social entrepreneurship. They’ve also logged my long slog toward producing a series of four books on deconstructing systemic abuse and (re)constructing healthy organizational enterprises.

We never really serve as the best evaluators of our own impact. But we may have ideas about what we’ve done that makes a difference, changes people’s lives for the better. Here are my thoughts on that as of 2018, with a few additional items I’m adding in 2020.

I thought it would make for an intriguing exercise to list what I think have been the five most memorable or important writings from this period. Here’s what I came up with: (1) The Pyramid of Abuse. (2) The Transformational Index. (3) Four Kinds of Control Cultures. (4) Six “S” Factors for Organizational Success. (5) Distinguishing between Systemic Abuse and Systemic Oppression.

1. The Pyramid of Abuse (first version in 2014, most recent version 2018, as I keep on learning!) captured my understanding of the different roles used in organizations that benefit a few people at the expense of the many, and the main kinds of tactics used to “overlord people.” I’ve gotten more positive feedback on this than anything else I’ve written, probably because a huge number of people have been victimized by bullying, abuse, and violence. Most recent version (2018):

2. The Transformational Index, on which I was a co-author with Shannon Hopkins and Andy Schofield. This is a tool for “measuring what matters” in qualitative impact from social transformation work.

3. Four Kinds of Control Cultures explores social control by compliance, chaos, charisma, or competition. Most of these are illustrated in a series I did on The Hunger Games, applying Robert Jay Lifton’s eight criteria of “totalist psychology” control cultures.

4. Six “S” for Organizational Success: (1) SAFE meeting ground that prevents a hostile work environment, (2) mission that is SUITABLE for the people actually involved as shareholders and stakeholders, (3) SCALE of operation that match the resources available in the setting, (4) SENSITIVE messaging that takes into account differences in processing due to learning styles and cultures, (5) methods that can SURVIVE global paradigm and cultural shifts that are beyond anyone’s control, and (6) SUSTAINABLE momentum for the organization to last beyond two generations.

5. The Pyramid of Abuse – “Layer 5” and Systemic Oppression. I haven’t posted on this yet, but have been doing the groundwork for years. The Pyramid of Abuse was about *insiders* in its system, while oppression involves *outsiders* from the Pyramid’s system. So, this is what helps understand dynamics where a system (such as oligarchy, patriarchy, racial segregation, or religious persecution) is rigged against large people groups and they are excluded from freedom and opportunity. I may post on this soon and if so, will add a link here.

I have a sense that the two most important things I’ve posted in the two years since my 15th blogiversary are these, both of which seem to be distinct contributions to the history and sociology of work done by abuse survivors and advocates.

A Cultural Geography of Survivor Communities. This mega-long-form read is over 50,000 words in almost 20 posts, and took a full year to produce. It represents my best effort to capture snapshots of abuse survivor communities, and analyze their times and trends. This includes how they’ve developed, their cultural context and what key issues they face as groups, where they fit with the #MeToo movements, and where they seem to be going.

4-Both complementarian and egalitarian APPROACHES TO GENDER ISSUES in congregation, family, and community.

I wrote my first case study of spiritual abuse in 2008, so it took 12 years to have read enough situations or developed enough cases to produce this one post — point being: Stay with it! Something truly significant can emerge from the whole set that isn’t yet apparent in the parts!

* * * * * * *

So, I guess that’s it for this Blogiversary 17 post. Maybe the big picture point was just to review my past in blogging, to refresh a sense of significance in it.

There is some spiritual battery recharging that comes with reciting our own “origin story,” and embracing again the providential trajectory in which we find ourselves. There are always challenges along the pathway of Christlikeness — it’s as much a steeplechase as a marathon — and embodying our originating purpose will help us navigate the challenges along the way. May we all find such deep hope seeping into our soul, this day and always …

TUESDAY, MARCH 31.And for all those Inquiring Minds who were curious and wanted to know … this was a two-pack of packages of Hot Tamales Peeps, with two boxes of Peeps in each package, a row of five Peeps in each box.

And what were they like: Sweet? Spicy? Spicy hot? Fire-alarm-get-the-fire-extinguisher hot?

Just a bit of “zip.” Kind of like a mild to medium pepper jelly. Sweet, tangy, and an oh-so-nice little bit of hot tamale!

Of course, sometimes spicy stuff builds up as one continues indulging. Although I might try that under other circumstances, I’d rather stretch these out and enjoy them for longer!

Hmm … stretch them out. That could work. Literally. But I’ll stick with metapeephorically.

Can abusive people change? If so, how–and how much? Chapter 9 deals with hard theological and therapeutic questions like these.My notes on this final chapter lay out Chuck’s case for possibilities of change as stratified according to the spectrum of narcissism (detailed in Chapter 2), indicators of openness to change, and who is likely or not to pursue transformation.

* * * * * * *

CHAPTER 9 – TRANSFORMATION FOR NARCISSISTS (IS POSSIBLE)

Introducing the Core Issue in Chapter 9:

Reconciling Salvation and Sanctification

in Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Chapter 9 contains concepts about possibilities of transformation for abusive people, that many Christians may find difficult to grapple with, especially those who are survivors of traumatization by abusive people in religious settings. In those cases, victimization typically involves abuse of power differential, in addition to whatever other forms of abuse, manipulation, and/or ministry malpractice were involved. So, their knowledge is personal for how insidious the behaviors are of someone who could probably be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). As survivors and advocates track what happens with such perpetrators, their outlook on abusers “changing their spots” is basically nil.

Those who’ve been in and around ministries to abuse survivors have almost certainly heard things along the line of, “Men who perpetrate domestic violence basically don’t change” and “People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can’t change. Maybe at best they can be taught to manage their behavior to avoid hurting people.”

Yet, it’s hard to reconcile a faith that says God loves all people, Christ died for all, and the Holy Spirit is in all Christians to guide and empower them — but then withhold any hope or possibility of personal transformation for certain kinds of extremely damaged and extremely damaging people.

Even if we believe salvation is possible for anyone, do we believe sanctification is really possible for anyone?

If yes, then what does it look like?

What boundaries are there?

Are we mixing our beliefs about spiritual sanctification/growth with the Church’s legitimate need to prevent victimization and protect the vulnerable?

As a licensed therapist and a church consultant, Chuck DeGroat has encountered numerous men and women with personality disorders, including NPD. His general conclusion is that change is possible for such people — but he also immediately offers specific categories and conditions that nuance the answer. Thus, for him, this is NOT an either/or question — “Yes, they absolutely can change.” Or, “No they absolutely cannot.”

The possibility for transformation is not absolute — either all YES, or all NO for anyone who presents some kind of “narcissistic behaviors.”

That’s because possibilities are stratified. This means the hope for significant change differs, according to the levels of patterns and pathology (i.e., location on the spectrum of narcissism). —

Three key indicators for how possible change is — whether for narcissistic individuals or decision-makers for a narcissistic institutional system — involve showing sufficient openness to: (1) self-awareness, (2) empathy, and (3) hearing how others perceive you and the destructive impact you are having.

From the realities Chuck was witnessed in his counseling and consulting, the closer to the pathological end of the spectrum of narcissism, the less likely the person/organization is to possess and implement those openness potentials.

In short, Chuck pursues a third-way approach to the question of change.

“This ‘third way’ has been among the most helpful and hopeful pathways to transformation among those I’ve worked with. It neither exonerates nor condemns. It holds both beauty and brokenness. It admits complexity. It invites curiosity.” (Page 153)

Let’s consider how to break down the elements of a sophisticated, stratified, third way approach.

IS TRANSFORMATION FOR NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE POSSIBLE? I’m halfway through the final chapter in *When Narcissism Comes To Church* so I’m right in the middle of those two big interrelated questions about whether a narcissistic can change and if so, how.

I think I’m understanding Chuck DeGroat‘s overall conclusions in this video — and can agree with them, based on having dug deeply into the rest of #WhenNarcissismComesToChurch. I’ll post more about the reasoning behind this agreement in my forthcoming “Narcissism Notes” for Chapter 9. Meanwhile, here are some points on why I find his video and approach helpful.

It seems to me some key difficulties we have on the issue of “Is transformation for narcissist possible?” are that: (1) many people have a box not a spectrum for narcissism. It’s sort of an all-or-nothing thing, no degrees of narcissism considered. Plus (2) we have RARELY read or heard of a toxic narcissistic Christian leader listen to the truth about their destructive impact, repent over the long haul, make things right with those they’ve victimized, abdicate their position of power, etc. Which (3) makes it difficult for us to be willing to invest enough time to hear something like Chuck’s nuanced approach, which he clearly lays out in his book.

In it, he provides a carefully constructed set of definitions and descriptions that argue convincingly (in my opinion) for (1) a spectrum of narcissism instead of just one category, and (2) a well-reasoned set of indicators of potential for change (some level of self-awareness, empathy, and hearing how they are perceived in relationships). What Chuck shares for possible transformation for *individuals* makes a lot of sense to me, because it parallels what I’ve seen in my research writing on identifying and dealing with toxic *institutions*.

This video gives a great summary for the relevant concepts to consider the questions about change. So, give it a listen, reflect, repeat. Get your questions and doubts out on paper and ready, so that you can get the most from a deep reading of *When Narcissism Comes To Church*. You may or may not end up agreeing with how Chuck has worked this out and ministered from this framework, but I trust you’ll find his book a helpful resource to wrestle with the reckonings that narcissistic people need to embrace and face.

Now I’ll tackle a few of the deeper details that were below the surface of what I was thinking about when I wrote that reaction for my Facebook page.

* * * * * * *

Focusing in on a Few Specifics

Instead of duplicating what Chuck talks about, I’ll reference previous material in When Narcissism Comes To Church that ties in with various points, and/or share thoughts and personal experiences that illustrate why Chuck’s overall perspective makes sense to me.

1. Change requires a level of curiosity and openness. There is *potential* for transformation where narcissistic individuals or leaders of narcissistic institutions demonstrate they still have capacity for self-awareness, empathy, and hearing how they are perceived and are having negative impact on others.

In other words, there is real vulnerability, not fauxnerability. See Chapter 4, “Characteristics of the Narcissistic Pastor,” pages 82-84.

2. Transformation is more possible when abusive behaviors being manifested are more at the STYLE end of the spectrum of narcissism, and patterns more within the TYPE range of that spectrum. The closer to the PATHOLOGICAL end of the spectrum, the less likely that deep change will happen, though behavior management is still possible to mitigate damaging impact.

For the spectrum of narcissism, see Chapter 2, “Understanding Narcissism,” pages 36-38. The sequence goes from more healthy to more toxic, starting at the healthy end of the spectrum with Style and ending with Pathology at the toxic end.

A spectrum allows for a more nuanced “maybe” answer to the question of whether change is possible for a narcissist. But a single box labeled Narcissism where someone is either inside or outside of it promotes a category but no complexities. I see these distinctions as important because of two truths I learned a long time ago to are relevant here.

The first is, “Same root, different fruit.” Multiple people can experience the same behavior, but it can affect them quite differently in how they process and manifest the damage. This means that people may defy standard expectations in how they act in response to abuse.

The second is, “Different roots, same fruit.” People can have wildly different damaging experiences, but still manifest it in highly similar ways. This means we cannot backtrack from a specific set of symptoms exactly where it came from. The symptoms do not have only one potential source.

This matters, because we need nuance in our response. Just because someone does something that “is narcissistic,” that does not mean they should be diagnosed with NPD. If it is a rare surfacy action and not a characteristic pattern, they are probably more in the Style zone than in the Pathology zone.

3. The closer to the toxic end of the spectrum someone is in their behavior patterns and pathology, the less likely they are to demonstrating enough curiosity and openness for transformation processes to work.

The instinct to see how our actions impact someone directly — or indirectly through our complicity in enabling abusers — indicates curiosity, and thus a possibility for change. If we don’t care about what destructive/draining impact we are inflicting on others, we’re not likely to change.

4. The goal of Christlikeness for all disciples may be the same, but our pace and depth of change in getting there varies. We would do better to keep in dynamic tension the overall distance we are from that goal, with what each step represents in light of how far away we began from.

Regardless of personality type, Enneagram profile, culture of origin, or similar factors, our calling as disciples is to become more like Christ. That is the ultimate goal we hold in common. But all of us start our journeys toward Jesus from a very different “personal and cultural GPS.” That means each of us has a distinct trajectory or pathway for that journey, based on widely spread out starting points.

That may seem intuitively obvious, but so many teachings and preachings seem to assume that we are all the same, that everyone needs the same things at the same time. This programmatic concept of uniformity makes it all too easy to question ourselves, if we don’t get the exact points out of a sermon or blog post or podcast as expected. But is this the way it’s supposed to be?

The way I see it, Acts 15 and the history there of the Jerusalem Council is instructive. Both Jews and gentiles were becoming disciples of Jesus Christ. But a teaching by some from Jewish backgrounds mandated that gentiles had to convert to Judaism first before they could legitimately follow Jesus. This was causing great consternation for gentile followers, and the demand for uniformity was creating a rift that threatened to destroy unity. The Council discerned, in essence, that people needed to start moving toward Jesus from where they were at, not where someone else was. Judaism was not the gateway to Jesus — Jesus Himself was the gateway to Jesus!

This decision also recognized that people face a distinctive set of moral issues when they start pursuing Christlikeness, based on differences in their cultural and religious backgrounds. Some backgrounds — like that of the Jewish followers — already stressed strong moral standards and ethical responsibilities. Some — like that of many gentile followers — did not. So the Council recommended to the gentile believers some wisdom that would already be second nature to the Jewish believers.

How does this relate to whether narcissistic people can change? No one can dictate how long it will take to reach spiritual maturity, how fast change can take place, or whether we’ll always be moving forward or sometimes get stuck or go backward. But the probability for deep change, and the pace, would seem to depend on aspects of how wounded a person is — how fragile, how (un)willing to take steps of faith and keep stepping forward faithfully.

We see someone’s path through our own eyes, evaluate them as if our experience is the standard. But what if we saw things from a more elevated position? Maybe we’d see that what look like baby steps of growth, in an absolute sense, by a person from a background of desperate brokenness, might actually represent huge leaps relative to their own perspective. This is not letting anyone off the hook, just noting that we should measure things in the context of their own system instead of from our own.

5. “Neither exonerates nor condemns.”

Throughout his book, Chuck makes a case (at least, as I interpret it) for a paradoxical both/and approach to humanity. All people are both broken and beautiful, have both shadow and light. All Christians are both sinners and saints. The core task of transformation is embracing and facing those opposites, so we integrate ourselves into a healthier wholeness. This approach allows for complexity and nuance, instead of reductionism and either/or theological polarization that keeps us stuck in a “glorious-saint-only” or “pitious sinner-only” theology. (As Chuck detailed in Chapter 6 on “Understanding Narcissistic Systems,” each of those becomes the base for a toxic system — the former for the grandiose system, the latter for the vulnerable system.)

* * * * * * *

Final Thoughts …

Chuck DeGroat does not let anyone off the hook. He does not suggest that abusive ministers who are removed from their role should have their platform of influence restored. His third way “neither exonerates nor condemns. It holds both beauty and brokenness. It admits complexity. It invites curiosity.” (Page 153)

So with all that together, it makes sense to me that someone with narcissistic behaviors and patterns can potentially find transformation and integration of self. It just takes a lot of definitions and descriptions to get to that conclusion, and most people with experience of abuse may not be willing to wade through that much, having seen the public track records of toxic people retaining their power. Chuck has given us much meat to chew on in this chapter, and a reasoned pathway to answer “Maybe,” like he does, to the question of whether narcissistic people can embrace transformation.

Introduction

This chapter presents a unique challenge: How do you do justice in just one chapter to the immense issues involved in the healing process when people and organizations have been traumatized by narcissistic abusers of word, deed, and power? There are entire books dealing with that.

And yet, I feel Chuck has done a credible job in that Herculean task to lift up healing with a framework that makes sense for both personal and organizational transformation. His use of the Exodus journey as a metaphor provides a meaningful touchstone for reflecting on the ups and downs of recovery. And his use of three people’s narratives — Paul, Stacy, and Heather — periodically throughout the chapter interweaves how individuals and institutions influence each other in both wounding and healing.

For this chapter, things went in a different direction as far as sharing my thoughts on Chuck’s material. A number of quotes struck me, and I decided to feature them, with a small amount of commentary. After the initial quote “slide,” the rest are numbered in the lower left-hand corner, and those numbers appear at the end of the subheads.

* * * * * * *

CHAPTER 8 – HEALING OURSELVES, HEALING OUR CHURCH

* * * * * * *

The Journey Toward Jesus (8-1, 8-2)

The Exodus narrative gives us many parallels to consider between a physical and spiritual change of location. Think of the concept framework for journeying — starting point, ending point/goal, GPS, landscapes, barriers along the way, times of rest, perhaps long periods of ennui instead of energy and enthusiasm.

* * * * * * *

Parallel Processes for Individuals and Institutions (8-3, 8-4)

In the big picture of abuse, individuals and institutions are often interconnected, and there is much we can learn if we see similarities in their processes of trajectory change and transformation. This gives us some of the motivation behind studying systems, to see how various elements in a situation interact, affect one another, help or hinder a positive change process. (Sidenote: In one of his videos about narcissism, Chuck DeGroat recommended the works of Peter Senge for understanding systems, mental models, and paradigm shifts.)

* * * * * * *

What is “the Real Work” in Healing? (8-5, 8-6, 8-7)

Just as toxins (organic poisons) corrode an institution’s infrastructure and bend it to false purposes, so trauma reshapes an individual’s being and identity, hijacking him or her into an orbit that tethers them to their abusers. To reclaim freedom requires breaking out of the orbit around their abusers, flushing out those corrosive and parasitic elements that abusers have infused into the system, and setting out on a reimagined and reset trajectory.

* * * * * * *

Key to Healthy Recovery: It’s a “Who,” Not Just a “What” (8-8)

Chuck notes, “I’ve rarely seen a healthy recovery happen without a wise guide accompanying and leading it” (page 144). He applies it to both individuals and institutions. In one case he describes, the church hired an organizational consultant to pilot the recovery process:

Phase 1, a season of truth-telling.

Phase 2, reimagine corporate sense of call, mission, and identity.

Phase 3, internal leadership team return to their main role as consultancy phases out.

Who knows … once we have undergone deep transformation ourselves from trauma that was inflicted upon us, perhaps we may sense a calling to become a wise guide to people and/or organizations that are starting on their own healing journey.

* * * * * * *

Some Final Thoughts

I prefer print books over eBooks, because I practically destroy a good book with writing all over the margins, and underlining, sometimes even color-coding with highlighters. It helps me concentrate, and to code important things I run across.

Chapter 8 on “Healing Ourselves, Healing the Church,” is one I marked up extensively. In looking back through those pages while working on this post, I realized I had circled a lot of words. A closer inspection showed most were action verbs and other highly descriptive terms.

As a do-it-yourself exercise, note words that stand out to you in this chapter, especially those related to the process of recovery and what “resilience” looks like. Here is a sampling of words I circled and/or underlined:

We can composite deeper insight from viewing sick systems from different angles.

People in self-serving systems try to make you think you’re the sane ones by joining and staying, but the crazy ones if you won’t stay compliant and want to leave.

What we’ve called “gaslighting” is actually a range of toxic tactics.

Important reasons for understanding narcissistic/toxic systems before attempting to start up or transition to a healthy system.

Let’s dive in and see what’s what …

* * * * * * *

CHAPTER 7 – THE GASLIGHT IS ON:

SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

4. Narcissistic Systems Can Flip the Script on Victims Because

Inconsistency is Consistent with Their Crazy-Making Methods

4. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE TOXIC TACTICS. People in self-serving systems try to make you think you’re the sane ones by joining and staying, but the crazy ones if you won’t stay compliant and want to leave.

In toxic systems, leaders and their followers/enablers tend to use a range of both positive and negative tactics for social control. The “good cop” positive tactics make insiders feel they are the only sane ones, and the “bad cop” negative ones make them feel they are going crazy. Abusers flip the script on their victims as needed.

I’ve lost track of how many articles and books I’ve read on issues related to abuse and recovery, how many conversations with how many people. Over time, a few key thoughts about tactics have distilled themselves out from all of that input. In no particular order, here’s what comes to mind:

Bullies seem to absorb by osmosis oh so many ways to get under other people’s skin — irritate and agitate them — and to positively draw them in as accomplices.

Although they may settle in on a specific combination of tactics as their “signature moves” on those who are susceptible, abusive people probably become practiced in a large arsenal of methods.

Any given method may seem innocuous, but in the bigger picture of things, they are all insidious, because they are slanted to serve a bigger purposes: keep the bully in power.

Part of the what’s “behind the curtain” in having such an assortment of tactics to select from is that different potential victims have different susceptibilities. So, tactics targeted at what a specific person wants most, needs most, fears most, is most anxious or angry or self-defeated about, calls forth a context-sensitive way to co-opt that person.

Every book on spiritual abuse and recovery seems to have a list of tactics. But any given victim likely has not experienced all of them, and some — perhaps many — tactics don’t work on them because they don’t connect with their susceptibilities.

So, the larger the list of tactics we can compile and sort through, the better equipped we will be to identify them when we see them.

A “Do-It-Yourself” Exercise.There are numerous ways to organize lists of tactics. Perhaps you’ve got a schema that you particularly like. Whether you have something in mind already or not, take a look at this page of Top 100 Traits & Behaviors of Personality-Disordered Individuals at the Out of the FOG site, and experiment with some different ways of analyzing and categorizing them.

What kinds of unique or critical features pop out at you for certain tactics/behaviors?

Why do you think that might be?

What commonalities do you see that tie many/all traits and tactics together?

What distinctive differences?

Which traits and/or behaviors have you personally experienced?

My “Taxonomy of Toxic Tactics.”Here are three “slides” that capture some of my own preliminary work on categorizing the mega-list of toxic tactics that I’ve experienced, observed, heard about, and read about.

Some of the categories are more negative/put-down in nature, others seek to be more positive/build-up in nature. This distinction is important because it leads into the discussion on “gaslighting” — which originally had an almost exclusively negative cast to it. However, since language changes over time, we find it used more frequently for positive or negative ways of manipulating people emotionally, propaganda to mess people up mentally.

Let’s take a brief look at what goes for gaslighting these days.

* * * * * * *

5. “Gaslighting” is Meant to Break Us Down,

But There’s More to It that We Need to Break Down

5. IMPLANTING AND IMPLYING MENTAL ILLNESS. What we’ve called “gaslighting” is actually a range of toxic tactics.

Gaslighting and related forms of mental and emotional manipulation are core to the arsenal of tactics available in narcissistic systems. These intentional, “crazy-making” tactics are meant to entice people intothe system, keep them thereby whatever means necessary, and make life intensely difficultfor people–or ultimately expel them–if they rebel and won’t conform to the required norms.

Language is fluid and the meanings of words often shift over time. This happens in abuse survivor communities, just as in other populations. It’s been my observation that, in the last 10 years, the term gaslightinghas become used more widely and frequently — not just by abuse survivors — and also more loosely, applied to forms of manipulation beyond what it originally meant.

It found its origins in the 1938 play Gas Light by Patrick Hamilton, and the movie adaptations in 1940 and 1944. The DVD case back cover of the 1940 version summarizes the plot:

“Insane criminal tries to drive his wife crazy in order to find hidden jewels in her Victorian mansion. Highly atmospheric and charged with underlying evil.”

Paula Alquist’s husband, Gregory, attempts to get his wife (played by Ingrid Bergman in the more famous 1944 version) to doubt her powers of observation and her memory. He moves objects or removes them, lowers the fuel to the gas lamps to make them flicker, plays other mind tricks on her, then acts as nothing has happened and lies constantly to convince Paula she is going mad. So, the original meaning of gaslightingwas to inflict mental confusion and implant deep self-doubt in the victim.

However, now gaslighting is used for many kinds of manipulations on a wider range of target audiences. This may involve direct psychological terrorizing of victims to convince them they are mentally ill or even evil. That keeps the original flavor of the term, gaslighting. But these efforts also aim at the others in the social context: family members, acquaintances, potential enablers of the victimizer, maybe even the general public. The goal with this outer circle is to convince them that the victim is a liar, abusive, mentally ill — and as they adopt the abuser’s view, they tend to exert social control over the victim to silence him/her. The technical term for this is controversializing. Here are some descriptions of these concepts, from my blog post on When Abusers “Controversialize” and “Gaslight” Victims to Deflect from Their Own Responsibility.

Controversializingis a form of social control accomplished through deflecting attention from the factual issue at hand by shifting the focus to the messenger who made people aware of the problem. This is done by shunning, eliminating, erasing opponents. It can include propaganda elements such as disinformation, PR spin, and outright lies.

Controversializing shows similarities to gaslighting, but — at least the way I currently see it — controversializing is aimed more at convincing the public that the messenger is mentally off, while gaslighting involves actions to convince the messengers themselves that they are mentally off balance.

Intriguingly, the term controversializingalso comes from a movie: Kill the Messenger. This drama was based on the true story of investigative reporter Gary Webb. He wrote about a 1980s “dark alliance” involving drugs, gangs, the Contras, and the CIA. For details, see The Killing Game: Selected Writings by the Author of Dark Alliance, by Gary Webb (2011; Seven Stories Press). The book’s “Publisher’s Note” by Dan Simon states that Webb’s investigative series:

might have vanished without a trace had the [Mercury News] not chosen this story to create a splash for its website, complete with graphics and links to a treasure trove of original source documents. It became the first big internet news story, with as many as 1.3 million hits in a single day.

But then, major newspapers covered Gary Webb AS the story – “controversializing” him – instead of dealing with the content of his article or conducting their own investigation. Eventual fact-checking apparently turned up nothing wrong with his facts, but that didn’t change the attack on the messenger.

Here are some of the gaslighting and controversializing statements I’ve heard in person from toxic leaders:

You’re the most self-centered person I’ve ever known.

You want to get a Christian counselor? No, I don’t recommend your doing that. You’ll only depend on the counselor and not on Jesus. [Meaning, You need to keep depending on me as your Pastor/Shepherd.]

They’re mentally unstable.

They’re quite “ill,” if you catch my drift.

There was a “personality conflict.” [Meaning, I’m the calm, sane, rational one — they’re not.]

This is NOT a plea for everyone to go back to the original meaning of words, but to at least be more aware of the context a term is used in, and maybe choose another word than gaslighting. Why? Because when one term ends up in general use to cover too many meanings, we tend to lose touch with a spectrum of more specific words. And we have a whole slew of workable words that offer different nuances of intent and impact that can help us broaden our thinking and enrich our communicating. Clusters of terms like:

Disinformation, propaganda, gossip, misinformation, spin, lies.

Troll, label, victim-blame, doxing, silence, cancel.

Groom, condition, unconditional submission.

Deny, deflect, theology of “nice,” two sides to every story, lack of witnesses.

Here are some resources, in case you’d like to consider this further

Movies

Because the Gaslight movies are now in public domain, you may find rent-free copies available to watch online. Also check JustWatch for streaming sites (some free, some fee-based).

Webb’s own stranger-than-fiction experience is also woven into the book. His excoriation by the media—not because of any wrongdoing on his part, but by an insidious process of innuendo and suggestion that in effect blamed Webb for the implications of the story—had been all but predicted.

* * * * * * *

6. We Need to Know How Things Can Go Wrong,

Before We Start Up Something and Hope It Goes Right

6. UNDERSTAND TOXIC SYSTEMS FIRST. There are important reasons for understanding narcissistic/toxic systems before attempting to start up or transition to a healthy system.

Chuck covered narcissistic systems in Chapter 6, and presented a clear, concise approach to two categories of toxic organizations: grandiose and vulnerable. As I was working on my “Narcissism Notes” for Chapter 7, I happened to turn back a chapter, and realized that Chuck had followed the toxicity descriptions in Chapter 6 with a section on “What Does a Healthy System Look Like?” I’ve pulled out a few key sentences for the following quote slide.

Over the last 40-plus years, I’ve helped a lot of people develop and/or implement their plans for some kind of a start-up organization. Some were non-profits, others church plants, sometimes a limited-term social change enterprise. I saw a disturbing number of them flail or fail. It took much reflection to come to conclusions about some reasons why. The main one that stuck is this:

People who want to make a positive difference in the life of others are usually the ones who instigate these kinds of social benefit enterprises. Typically, they’re so excited to get going on their vision, that they don’t get training on how things can end up going off kilter. It’s not on their radar how leaders, employees, and/or volunteers with their own self-benefiting agenda can come in and hijack the mission, traumatize the team and target audiences, infuse unethical process and procedures into the infrastructure.

So, I’ve become an advocate for professional assessments of leaders and team members, to screen out those who should not be involved. Also, it’s too easy for leaders and teams to jump right into implementation stages after initial planning. So another slow-down-and-think-preventively technique I recommend is training on organizational development that beginswith the many ways that things can go wrong in a system, and concludeswith strategies for constructive, collaborative, healthy teamwork.

All that to note that I appreciate Chuck did not assume that we’d know what “toxic” or “healthy” are, and that he took us through the harder stuff first, to know how things could go wrong before exploring how things should go right.