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Night of the uberwomen

All the hippest hangouts are packed with clubbers in towering heels, skintight frocks and trowelled-on make-up  and that’s just the men. Fleur Britten and Jessica Brinton say if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em

Something strange is happening in party-land. Everywhere you look, men are turning into women. The drag queens, with their industrial make-up, corseted waists and acres of exposed thigh, are taking over stealing the attention from us bona fide lasses.

So, what's a girl to do? How are we meant to compete with these 7ft glamazons? Could we learn something about how to be a woman from these faux females? Alexander McQueen, Dolce & Gabbana and Preen certainly seem to think so. This season, they have appropriated the Jessica Rabbit physique with boosted buttocks and hyperbolic hips.

In the interests of research, we set out to beat the interlopers at their own game. For one day and night, we would transform ourselves from mere women into uberwomen - perfect, pulsating packages of exaggerated female sexuality. Here's what happened.

1pm Start make-up Rather shaky with the lash glue and lipliner, we call on