Lost in Showbiz has a position on baby showers, which is that it basically doesn't do them. In the annals of irksome American cultural imports they easily outstrip little leaguers such as Gwyneth Paltrow or people saying "parsta". You decide to have a baby: you buy that shiz yourself.

Like all my hard and fast rules, though, it would obviously be broken in a heartbeat if it looked like there was a hilarious life experience in it. Consequently, I regard the invitation to Kim Kardashian's baby shower as marginally more covetable than one to Truman Capote's Black and White Ball would have been.

Without further ado, then, let me tell you about these invitations to shower the forthcoming offspring of Kim and Kanye West, photographs of which have helpfully found their way to various media outlets. They consist of a purpose-built music box for every invitee, which opens to reveal a little twirling ballerina, and is lined with the following words of enticement: "Please join us for a baby shower honoring Kim Kardashian." We are told it is "given with love" by various of Kim's relatives and associates, and that the dress code is "garden chic". But the best bit? That little ballerina twirls around to a plinky-plink lullaby version of Kanye's Hey Mama.

Like I say, it's the dream. I would gladly disguise myself as a garden-chic tree for even a glimpse of proceedings, to say nothing of travelling from afar to bestow upon the baby a pumpkin-style baby coach, or whatever it's going to ride around in while the family work out how best to monetise it. Quite simply, some things transcend principles, and nothing is too good for reality TV's Khrist-child.