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Monday, 7 March 2016

IS SHE MARRIED? HAS SHE GOT KIDS?

I was on a bus last week at Adum and headed towards campus when we stopped in traffic. So one of the passengers saw an old friend of hers from afar and shouted her name. The friend turned and upon seeing her old friend, they exchanged pleasantries and this other friend started asking the one on the bus, "How is your daughter?" The one on the bus answered, "She is fine." Then the friend asked again, "Is she married now?" The woman answers again, "Yes, she is." Then she asked yet again..."Has she got any kids yet?" To that the woman answered, "No." While such questions aren't foreign to the average young man or woman growing up in Ghana, I think it has often become a needless question for anyone to be asked.

The truth of the matter is, not everyone is meant to marry. Or to put in another way, not everyone WANTS to get married. So our culture of expecting everyone to get married is totally flawed. Our last census figures point to the fact that there are more women than men in Ghana. If we should all be married to one man and one woman, it simply means not everyone will end up being married. To top it all up, why the craze about childbirth after marriage?

So it looks like once you are out of school or are becoming of age, the most natural question you should almost always expect is: When are you getting married? After you "strive" to get married, the next natural follow up is: When are we expecting a grandchild or nephew or niece? I think it is too much of pressure on the average youth. Let us leave our youth to make their own marital and childbirth decisions at a time that best suits them. After all, these engagements are economically and mentally involving. No one just wakes up to go get a wife or husband and starts giving birth. If we don't want to increase the number of street children, let us allow young people to make their own decisions in that regard.