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The Internet has been simmering as of late about the lack of female characters in video games, with titles like Assassin’s Creed Unity and Far Cry 4 being the subject of unexpected (unexpected by Ubisoft at least) backlash at this year’s E3. The lack of female characters in video games is a touchy subject for a lot of reasons, but for many gamers the absence of female characters in a title like Assassin’s Creed Unity is disappointing for a pretty simple reason — female video game characters are better than male characters.

90 percent of video game characters may be male, but if you were to list the 100 best video game characters of all time, far more than a tenth of them would be ladies. Most female video game characters are at least semi-redeemable, while a pretty decent portion of male characters are intolerable, or barely characters at all…

Finally, downloaded this today, thank you God of War: Ascension, the gift that keeps on giving.

OK, so The Last of Us is more or less Dead Space in Washington…Great, another awesome game, I’ll be too chicken to play. I’ve lost you there, let me explain. I thought The Last of Us was an action-adventure video game set in a really frakked up Earth, like I Am Alive*. This is what happens, when you don’t pay attention, then a zombie turns up. Dude, after hearing the critters on 5.1 DTS, my ass quit quicker than a crackhead on ice…What the frak?! Seriously… *I Am Alive also turned out to be a survival horror, but instead of zombies, it was depravity of humanity. Continue reading →

I’ve never had a favourite anything, but God of War is definitely without a doubt my favourite hack and slash video game. This PlayStation exclusive has a special place in my devious heart. Apparently, I get rather passionate about it – something involving bloodlust, a diabolical grin and a manic presentation – complete with hand gestures & sound effects.

Frak, my…err…ex-boyfriend…it’s weird…once pointed out that I sound really crazy happy & even sexy, when I’m talking about this game series. Look, I don’t do sexy, I do scary, apparently once in a while sounds sexy. They were right, I might need help… Continue reading →

While I sit here watching the awesomeness that is Terry Pratchett, on Terry Pratchett: Facing Extinction on BBC iplayer, every time he says Borneo, all I think about is Uncharted. I might not be the most prolific gamer, but I realised they are certain cities/countries that are now embedded in my brain thanks to video games, movies, books etc. So lets look at the tip of the iceberg.

Greece

As a kid/teen, I was into Greek mythology, so when God of War came out, it was a no-brainer.

Borneo

Borneo Vista by Naughty Dog

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. The awesomeness that is this game, my definite favourite of the series, yes the story & visual of Uncharted 3 is brilliant, but the improvements and the opening of U2 is the business. C’mon, you wake up shot on a train dangling of a cliff and you have to get out. Hells Yes!

Cambodia

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Yup, the one with Angelina Jolie, before she became a low pass filter…

Las Vegas

Very Bad Things (1998)

Every road trip/buddy/mismatched couple movie with the what-happens-in-Vegas-stays-in-Vegas plot…and CSI.

New York

Dystopian future (LA also falls under here), natural disasters (practically the whole USA), romantic comedies – especially When Harry Met Sally, superhero (Spider-Man…duh also in the comics) films. Max Payne, Beauty and the Beast (the 1st one, 1987 with Linda Hamilton) And of course, Bugs Bunny, the owner of the title quote. He said it once on Falling Hare in 1943, so yes he said it way before Wolverine did.

Canada

Wolverine’s birth place, yes he’s Canadian from Alberta Canada and Sabretooth’s his half-brother, there goes your friendly Canadian theory. Hollywood’s substitute for Hollywood, just watch American Telly, especially when they dress Vancouver as New York. D’arvit, I’ve never been to Canada or New York, but even I know the difference. Lost Girl, Continuum and Blame Canada from South Park. Beauty and the Beast (2013, pretending to be NY)

LA

Practically the same as NY, detective movies & games, Hollywood. In fact, no more American cities…except the next one.

San Francisco

Charmed, Monsters vs. Aliens, The Nine Lives of Chloe King. Never been, but I know what the Golden Gate Bridge looks like.

There’re others, but I’m kinda tired – there was Trainspotting (Scotland), Beauty and the Beast (France), Farscape (Australia pretending to be the other universe), Doctor Who (UK and everywhere). Oh well…

Was minding my own business shouting at EA for my latest glitch discovery – can’t play international matches in Be A Pro – on FIFA 10 & searching for the solution. I found out that it was my fault because I changed my VP from Nigerian to English – the ass wipes don’t have the Nigerian team, even though they had it on 08. So my only real solution is to delete. Anyhoo, I came across this quote by albertasaurus on the official EA forum.

This is the internet; where all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

You’ve got to give it to the fella, he turned his name to a dinosaur…he knows the answer to universe is not 42.

Just read The Girlfriend vs The Xbox!!!, the joys of a gaming reationship. Even though I haven’t seen said boyfriend in years & there’s this little matter of the ocean, a few miles & a different continent. I realised while reading said article, that I would be the boyfriend, you know the one with the gaming addiction, ok not Call of Duty, but definately Saints Row (ok, not SR either, GTA:IV is still my 360 baby). I wouldn’t mind the Xbox Live Gold Membership for every Val’s day….Take note.

A friend once told me how I ignored/embarassed some poor dude, who came to visit/chat/break bread/whatever they call it. Here I was getting my crazy on playing Splinter Cell on PC. Ahh, those gloriuos days when my old laptop was brand new without that black screen of death. When all of a sudden some random knocks disturb my concentration, by then I’m already pissed. The poor guy says something, my mind’s elsewhere, I reply "No. I’m playing a game" & I shut the door on him. I can’t really remember my exact words, but it was something to that effect. I’m very sure about the "No" though. Anyhoo, he never came back.

It’s sad, I own 3 PSP games & no PSP. Thanks bro, for lending me yours. Finished GOW:CoO in 6 hours, 24 mins. Would have done it quicker, if I didn’t waste all that time on pausing, getting every single orbs/feathers/eyes & getting lost*.*It’s amazing how stupid I get while playing a game – e.g I spent a good 20 mins wondering around when I got back to the East (?) Horse section, before realised I was supposed to break the bloody statue! Before that, in same section, it took 10mins before I noticed the damn cavity!

If you’re really interested about the rest I recommend Rise and Shine. She has everything on it, she (& other crazy people) made 2 partitions themselves. It’s refreshing to know there are other female gamers out there. Plus, she’s definately girlier than me, so you see folks, there are girly gamers out there.

Wow, they made theories. All I did was print out the pdfs & trick out my phone software. I feel so ashamed. Oh & MSN, sort out this bloody date thing, what’s the whole point of me selecting the format, if you don’t stick it?

The Assassin’s Creed 2 treasure hunt continues. Would have done this yesterday, after the e-mail, but Mobiola & my phone decided to start divorce proceedings. Fortunately, they’ve settled out of court, so here’s partition VQHSBEF.

This time, I held the paper with my left hand at arm’s length, my right hand holding the phone, with my right big toe on the PRTSC, with my first [successful] picture being, his groin. All the while doing this on my bed, with my laptop propped on my chair. Now my back is killing me.

Who knows, maybe I’ll finally clear my table & use the chair the way it was intended. BTW, damn you ITV, damn you, you stupid bastards, you really are that stupid. I’ve to wait till next week to watch Pushing Daisies. Damn you, for its stupid timing. Doctor Who’s tomorrow!