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The Best Type Of Feminist…Is A Man?

As I was walking down a cobbled street on a warm summer’s day in Berlin, I happened to pass by a young woman with a confident stride, wearing a black t-shirt with a non-apologetic message that read…

The Future Is Female.

Upon reading this message (or should say statement?) I was inexplicably bemused and confused by those words. “Is the future female? Is this perfect strangers t-shirt a premonition from a dystopian future?” I pondered in that moment. “Does this mean my future or the future of my male offspring is destined to be lived off the grid or in the shadows?”

Let’s face it…

The historic and contemporary track record of my gender hasn’t been the best, as even one of the most powerful leaders of the free world casually made reference to grabbing women via their genitalia; but I can’t help but feel, the best type of feminist you can get, is a…

Man?

If you are a casual or regular reader who identifies themselves as a feminist, perhaps you’re already rolling your eyes at the nerve of my ignorance? Perhaps based on what you have read so far, I come across as another self-entitled man attempting to bask in the glory of social victories, without ever feeling the struggle of contemporary feminism.

But allow me to bring some context to the equation, because quite simply…

I want every woman to have the same freedoms, choices and opportunities I do. It has already been proven that humanity progresses and benefits immeasurably from an inclusive society that values, appreciates and warmly holds all genders within its embrace. Without question, I want the burgeoning potential of my daughter and nieces to have the same chances of being unlocked as my sons and nephew…

And while I in no way have all the answers to the various interpretations of feminism, individual women hold, I do believe part of the cure can be formulated from within my gender, as loving/nurturing men; fathers, grandfathers, brothers, uncles and cousins facilitate something quite unique. It allows for females to experience important interactions and relationships with men NOT based on their developing bodies, appearance or sexuality.

We all know the media is relentless on placing unrealistic expectations on women no matter what individual path they choose, whether it be single mothers, career women, women who show their bodies, women who cover it up, women who have five children, women who have no children, women who are too curvaceous, women who are too muscular, unmarried women…and the list goes on…

And on…

And on…

And on.

Girls should experience something the vast majority of boys access throughout their journey on the road to manhood, and that is consistent opportunities to move through the world measured on their character, abilities and actions, with no superficial value placed on physical appearance; not to mention it is rare a males physical attributes impact on perceived intelligence.

The biggest threat to feminism is complacency, as despite the incredible contributions made by women, what makes these contributions all the more amazing is that all social and political progress has been made through an unrelenting, institutional male construct.

I can tell you with great certainty, if men experienced menstrual cycles or had to internally incubate or nurture life for nine months, maternity pay would be an additional monthly bonus.

So is the future female? Not if that future is not inclusive of males who value women (for the moment I’ll leave aside the obvious biological argument) therefore is the future male? I don’t think so, because I don’t want to promote any sentiment that excludes any member of my own species.

I want my future to have men involved with raising our young females, women involved with raising our young men, the able assisting the disabled, the disabled continuing to inspire the abled, the old pushing forward new frontiers for the young, while the young continuing to inspire the old.

That being said while I openly support a feminist movement and ideology, as a male I don’t want to nonchalantly interpret or dismiss feminism, because the future is not for any one gender, the future, come what may is for us all…

This is very true! I think you are onto something here. Men need to support women with their struggles, as you said here-like facing sexual harassment and supporting them with the menstrual cycle etc. But I also believe that women need to support men with issues they face, such as not having much paternity leave and having to be “strong”.

Mmm… I’ll stick my neck out here and say, to start with, that the woman with the T-shirt ‘The Future of Female’ was either a lesbian who prefers to mix with lesbians (which is fine, I’m not making any judgement on that), or a feminist who has lost the plot like those in a blog I came across some months ago who had what I can only describe as a fascist attitude to men (they wanted to wipe out all men, put boys in camps, etc, etc. I nearly reported the blog for a hate crime but then just let it pass. They’re probably just raving loonies.)

You’re correct in your attitude, and I wish others – of both genders – would see it like that.

Oh and I don’t identify myself as ‘A Feminist’ (note the definite article in capitals) because I identify myself as a woman and to me that’s pretty much the same thing.

Actually Val, there was every chance that the woman I saw was lesbian? The thing is, while I have no real issue on gender identity (although I am currently trying to write something about transgender issues) humanity needs heterosexual connections for humanity to thrive. That doesn’t mean that all heterosexual couples have to have children, but the future has to be female and male…we have no choice.

I really enjoyed reading this. Feminism is for everyone and male feminists are important. Anyone who says a man can’t be a feminist doesn’t know what a feminist is. It should be a worldwide effort to achieve equality between genders. However, there are men at the top who still believe women don’t belong there and women at the bottom who think being a feminist means they can’t respect or have their husband, raise kids, choose to be a stay at home, etc. and consequently, say they aren’t feminists. There’s a lot of misconception due to misandrists walking around in feminist masks. And that’s a shame. But I truly believe a balance is what we need. Each gender, all human beings, coming together as one to secure a better tomorrow for our children and their children after them. Thank you for sharing this with us. I totally agree.

Thank you so much for your kind words! I do think it is so important that feminism isn’t seen as just a “women” or “female” issue, as it is something that touches us all and while I have not personally struggled with the such issues, it would be foolish of any man to think that how women are treated, valued or appreciated in our society doesn’t have a direct impact on how we live.