My life as a mom with 5 young children is beautifully imperfect

Menu

Just Say NO

For all of you out there who over commit – this post is for you. If you ever take on more than you can handle, frequently want to do “just this one extra thing”, or feel compelled to help out with yet another “great” cause, repeat after me, “NO“.

Or better yet, just don’t open your mouth to begin with.

If most of us over-committers were honest we would admit that there aren’t so many people banging down our doors asking us to volunteer for things. No, it’s that we think things sounds like really good ideas, something we would enjoy being a part of, and we can’t stand the silence waiting for someone to volunteer for it. So we shout out, “I could do that”. And even as we speak it we realize what a bad idea it was to yell out like that. But now it’s out there and we don’t think we can take it back.

We aren’t the kind of people who like to let people down, most of all ourselves.

So we say to ourselves, “it’s ok, this really will be fun; I wouldn’t want to miss out on this”. Or, “It’s no big deal, it will only take me a few minutes to do.”

Lies, all lies.

I’m so bad at this I even volunteer myself to others before they have something to volunteer for. Like, “Hey, if you are ever thinking of starting a youth group, let me know I would love be involved.” This is basically volunteering to start it and lead it.

Or another one I did the other day. “Look and see if you could use another teacher in a Sunday school class.” As if the one I’m teaching already isn’t enough for me, I think I should take on another one. And then they replied, “Oh, you would like to switch from the class you are teaching to a different class?” Ahh, there was my out. But did I take it, no way. I said, “No I can do both.”

I want to slap myself in the face sometimes.

My inability to curb the giving of my time to things other than my family is a real drain on me and my family. It stresses me out, it shortens the amount of time I get to hang out with friends and family. And, honestly, it lessens the enjoyment I have in life. I really need to get control of this addiction to the word yes.

For all of you with the same problem, let’s say it together:
No
I don’t think I can do that right now.
I wish I could, but I just don’t have time right now.
That sounds great, but I’m busy.
Awe, I already have plans that day.