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Busting Sex Myths For Baby Boomers

The fastest growing market in sex education today is the "Baby Boomers." They grew up in the hot '60s and are now confronting their own myths around sexuality, mid life and aging. Most Boomers grew up believing that after 50 was a fast trip into a kind of sexual deep sleep. And now that many Boomers have received their AARP card, they are finding that they're not ready for their sexuality to retire. Not even close! It's time for the world to stand up and take notice.

Drum roll please! The Over 50, mid life, baby boomer sexual being has arrived. What they want is support and information around how to expand their sexuality with changing bodies.

Hold the advertisements for diapers please!

Let's Bust Some Myths Around Sexuality After 50

1. Over 50 men and women are reporting they they are indeed very interested in sex! For many there is a renewed curiosity abut their bodies and a deep desire to explore their eroticism more fully. A National Council on Aging survey reports that among people age 60 and over who have regular intercourse, 74 percent of the men and 70 percent of the women find their sex lives more satisfying than when they were in their forties.

2. While bodies may be changing and needing some special attention such as hormonal shifts in women after menopause: Boomers are reporting a willingness to explore their sexuality in many out of the box ways. They are exploring "Tantra", taking retreats centered around sexuality, seeking out the support of sex coaches and therapists. The Over 50 crowd is ready and willing to explore. They tend to be adventurous, orgasmic, and sexually curious.

3. So what is the sexy mid lifer seeking? With all the focus on mid-life plastic surgery, diets, and botox you would think that sexuality in mid life is all about looking younger and attracting a partner. While that may be true for some, it's not what I'm seeing in my sex coaching practice or at my retreats for women. There is a shift. Boomers are wanting to "feel" sexy inside. Many are on a quest to find out what their sexual desires really are, and how to safely express them. If not now, when?

4. Boomers tend to be less "intercourse" driven. There is a new interest in "outercourse". They are showing up for workshops and private retreats where they are lining up to learn new touch skills. The emphasis seems to have shifted to something deeper after 50. It's no longer about how to "get off". The Orgasm Olympics are less interesting. It's now about savoring and expanding pleasure.

5. Our capacity for pleasure, exploration, and wild adventures does not end with a birthday. Sex clubs are filled with boomers of every stripe.

When we turn 50, it can feel like we are standing on a sexual crossroad. For some, it can feel like they have a choice to make as a sexual being – and it is a choice. Hitting mid life is not some kind of traffic light. I get that many people think so; but there is even a greater population who are stepping into mid life sexuality with a sense of excitement and freedom. And the good news is that if you have the desire for more, but just need a nudge of support - it's available now like it has never been there before. It's about opening ourselves to a brand new way of embracing our bodies, our desires and our sexuality. It's about leaving the myths behind. It can be all brand new after 50.

Isn't that sexy?

Resources:

Did you know that today is the beginning of Adult Sex Ed month, an effort started by A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind, to provide solid information about sex and sexuality to readers of all ages.

This is all good advice and I totally agree. But it applies only to lucky boomer couples who are still sexually matched in middle/old age. Since no two people age exactly the same way, and many age quite differently, wouldn't it be more common for older couples to become sexually mismatched even if they were closely matched sexually when they were younger?

Older couples who have only society's myths to worry about busting are the lucky ones. Many baby boomers are dealing with the tough reality of a partner who is no longer even remotely on par with them sexually. In many cases, even therapy doesn't really close the gap unfortunately.

Libido mismatch is a tough problem to fix. Younger people mistakenly think the problem was not identifying that mismatch before the couple married. And so they think they will always have the libido they have. For some, it's approximately true. But for others it's not.