9.30.2008

After their first attempt at trying to make us buy jeans for animals (zombies),Wrangler is trying again. This time in France.

Doesn't this kinda remind you of a Nike inspirational spot? It's just so obscure. Is Wrangler suggesting that I am just a stupid animal? Or am I a stupid animal that enjoys denim? Or...is it life is a meaningless cycle of repetition a failure.....so why not buy some jeans?

I get what they are trying to say....they just aren't saying it. And what they are saying....has a silly accent attached to it.

King has apparently stepped into the 20th century and got hip to the game of the gentleman. One of their newest feature 50 Rules to Being a Gentleman. Now...while some of their readers may consider the word "gentleman" to be a loose translation for the hood slang "G"...they do a pretty nice job clarifying the subtle and the large differences.

Here are a few of my favs:

49. “If you buy one pair of shoes and one suit per year, you’ll have a nice collection soon enough. It’s an investment. Also, know your measurements and sizes, because you might find a woman who wants to hook you up and get a suit made.”—Chris Mathis, 36, barber

This is something I need to get on top of.

47. “Tone down the bagginess a bit without wandering into nut-hugger territory. Showing your ass and boxers is not appealing in any setting.”—Anslem Samuel, 31, magazine editor

Grown ups DO NOT wear baggy cloths. This...is a fact of life.

42. “The world is bigger than your hood and the places your favorite rappers represent. Try to travel to a place where your cell phone won’t work. That’s when you know you’ve actually gone somewhere. If you can’t afford to put your passport on pivot, try reading a book or travel guide about the place you’d like to visit.”—A. Samuel

Word up son (but really...if your black, dont go anywhere your cellphone doesn't work...you're just asking to be that black guy from the movies).

35. “There will come a time when you outgrow the dudes you grew up with. Have a beer with them once in a while, but it’s OK to move on and be friendly with new people.”—Adam Matthews, 36, journalist

This is so true. Life is about growing and adapting, but never forgetting who and what made you the way you are today (that's some mushy sh*t right).

32. Look people in the eyes when you greet them and shake their hand.

28. “Memphis Bleek had one good line: ‘The strong move quiet, the weak start riots.’ Don’t be the guy who always needs attention on him or starts problems over small stuff.”—Mark Rooney, 31, salesman

The wise word of Memphis Bleak. We all know Jay wrote it for him.

21. If you initiate a dinner date or meeting, then you should expect to pay. That works both ways.

18. Unless your Fight Club membership is in danger of being revoked, walk away from altercations.

But sometimes.....

14. “Treat older women as if they were your own mother.”—C. Mathis

13. Always have a woman walk on the inside of the sidewalk and on the side of parked cars in a parking lot, basically using your body as a barrier from harm.

Someone told me this when I was a kid....and I try my best t adhere to it as an "adult." Don't feel foolish switching sides (but at least try to make it seamless). If a girl asks, just tell her "women are suppose to walk on the inside." I think they appreciate that you even care.

11. If you’re trying to have a relationship, let the woman know. If you’re not, and you’re just trying to hit, let them know that, too.

1. “Young guys should pump their brakes. Don’t have kids until you’re 30, and look at her family and background to know what you’re getting into.”—C. Mathis

That's 30 years of age. Let's be serious...the divorce rate is through the roof for a reason.

“Yes, I had my rite of passage. I was 16... I loved the girl a lot; she was one of my closest friends. I think falling in love is actually more about falling in love with an individual. We’re all potentially bisexual; it all depends on your circle, your upbringing, and all kinds of things. Or maybe I’m just talking about myself... I actually stalked one woman whose kid is one of my daughter’s closest friends...”

-Thandie Newton moving on up the hot girl celeb list in her interview with the Advocate.

This is humorous, because every time I go out for extracurricular activities in the city I see one of these flurry little monsters waving at me from the underbelly of the subway. So much so that this weekend in DUMBO (not the cartoon) over in Brooklyn I even succumbed to calling them Bunny Rabbits so that my girlfriend knows not to look and freak the f*ck out.

Ok...you caught me, I may or may not have been out drinking heavily in the village during the 2008 presidential debates last Friday night...but, in my defence....I didn't even know if they were having it until the morning of. And I knew I could catch it on youtube(as long as NBC wasn't the host, that is).

But what do you think? Who won? It's pretty clear that McCain is out for blood. But I felt like Obama was stumbling over himself the entire hour and a half.

The simple fact that Obama had to come straight out of his mouth and say "You're lying" to one of the many accusations thrown at him, while John brushed off everything aimed at him with a casual smirk of belittlement shows that Obama had little control of the debate- and neither did the moderator (both were always on the offensive). So, I believe flat out...the "W" goes to McCain (more or less), this time. But lets face it people...what are we all really waiting for?

Mmmmmhmmmm, Palin vs. Biden.....like a moth to a flame burning by the fire. There is alot of ground to be had and I hope it is taken advantage of.

In the mean time....look at all these lovely pics of the loving Obama embrace.

Come on America....how can you not vote for someone who loves his wife this much? Huh....huh...huh?

9.26.2008

I bet you all thought I was overreacting and being all Malcom X-like on you. Didn't you? I also always write posts about how fashion ads dont try hard enough. Well... this time...jewlery designers, Handan, tried really really hard. And this was the end result.

The jewlery is hand made....apparenlty by little black children. The agency that created this is Alice/BBDO, Istanbul. I know....Istanbul...a country that most likely has no idea of the racial history and implecations of evil America. But the fact is...BBDO's name is tacked to it. There is no way that this should have been approved. As a fellow blogger so eliquanlty put it:

"....It's just the blatant demeaning objectification of black people. Black people as jewelry....'it seems to say 'poor black children made them just for you, because you're worth it' or 'the ultimate in fashion is now 'wearable n=words.' ... I think we just got a little pysche peep here."

And much like him. I am not angry. This is a cultural lapse. This agency in Istanbul, under the umbrella company of BBDO simply does not see anything wrong here. And that's the sad part.

Do you think it tastes different in the UK and the states? If so...I really want to taste that African Guinness. Maybe the tornado picked up some antelope. Still....nothing comes close to this. Here's to waiting, old chap.

“You don’t suspend your campaign... because that makes me think, well, you know, maybe there will be other things down the road –- if he’s in the White House, he might just suspend being president. I mean, we've got a guy like that now!”

- David Letterman,

(who rips into Mccain for dipping out on his show due to the economic crisis )

I recommend you watch the whole thing. It is definitely worth 9 minutes of your life...a stab and a half.

But perhaps this NY street art installation is a bit too real for the average new york commuter. High rent, small living space, a crappy job....this ad may be hitting a little too close to home (see below).

9.24.2008

In the wake of some Swiss restaurant proclaiming they will use human breast milk to make a majority of their meals, PETA got a bright ideas. They made a personal request that Vermont based Ben & Jerry's hop on the same band wagon and start making their ice cream from human tit milk, instead of cow.

:::blank stare into the distance:::

While I think we should file this bright idea right next to the genius of dictatorship and turkey burgers, PETA probably thought that the hippies in Vermont would completely cave in as they sat there in their baked out office at the end of some magical rainbow. I all actuality...Ben was ok with the idea....but Jerry had worked in a real life office before and could recall the "milking" room in the office. It's stale sour smell brought make some not too good old memories.

Sounds like someone is debating a new flavor. I, on the other hand will be sticking to Strawberry Cheesecake (formally Primary Berry...4 years ago at this time). Anyway...I had some free time on my hands....so I've redesigned their packaging for them. I'm no designer....so don't judge...look at the concept.

Photographer, Chris Jordan used 2,000 Barbie dolls – the number of women in the US who undergo breast enlargement surgery every month- to make a statment about the large scale waste of consumerism in the US. Powerful stuff.

Cool, no?

Why someone would have 2000 barbies just sitting around or even know how to go about getting them.....is beyond me. But, hey.....to each their own.

i have no idea who this guy is, but how can anyone not feel this way?There are so many theories, agendas and hyperboles being tossed around right now....lets be honest, we need someone smart to fix this sh*t. Am I right?

9.23.2008

...those are the exact words that I typed into Google search to find information about this event that is apparently very popular and common in the UK. It is either sponsored or completely organized by jumpofftv. Which is why I felt I should bring it to you (my reader's) attention, because information...is the key to power. I was unable to find out exactly what the point of this competition was (besides obviously pushing for women rights and equality)....but I think we can all appreciate the low down dirtiness of our sophisticated brethren across the pond. For what they call a "competition", we in the states would call a strip club.

But onto the most recent competition.......

Qualifying rounds.

Round 1: The Most Talented of the Booty Shaking Talent

Round 2...the mishap!

Finale...as if you care...but all the pro writers tell me that there must be a beginning, middle and an end.

This has to be one of the most classy posts I've made in a long time. Hat tip to Laila for putting me on. Consider yourself cultured.....

the idea is simple enough. You eat what you just touched. So wash your hands. Still...it feels forced to me. Too much photoshop is never a good thing. And the hamster muffin...makes me nauseous- which I guess is the point.

With all this talk about Sarah Palin...I just realized that I haven't randomly posted awesome pics of Obama in awhile. I think this is classic. Do you think this pic was setup...or does Obama really own that Ali pic? It's very college dorm room-chic, no?

"Where you connect to a global community of more than a billion people and nothing comes between you and a world of ideas and opportunities. With Windows on your mobile phone, PC, or the Web, walls begin to disappear—at home, at the office, and anywhere in between. You can balance work and life as well as fun and functionality. And with a wide range of software, services, and devices to choose from, your technology can be as unique as you are. That's Windows. Life without walls."

This....is a great strategy. If it hadn't already been done by Apple.

Mac is the king of breaking down the barriers between their electronics. I think PC should just market themselves as the lamo computers that business people use. Anti-cool, structured as all hell and made specifically for suits.

This weekend, I was imprisoned (under my own will) in a home that had no cable. Now, while this might be a norm for all you people who think TV is the devil and/or the "intellectuals" out there, who are clearly better at living than I am, it was pretty much the apocalypse for me. But after the initial shock and hours of dvd, I adjusted. But what I found in between the regularly scheduled Sunday football games and tbs movies from the 90s was a slue of pharma ads.

Pharma Ads, the beast that every ad school teacher told me to dodge. Sure, they pay alot of money...but you will forever be known as that creative who made the animated burly bugs that live under some poor consumer's toenail talk and walk. And you will be shunned by those "real" creatives. There is no road from Prilosec to Nike. But with that said...the thing that caught my eyes was the side effects that these ads so cleverly slipped in at the end of their spots, which is not uncommon. Pharma ads are notorious for filling the last 20 seconds of a 30 second spot with "possible side effects." They are usually something to the effects of flash diarrhea of temporary blindness in one eye. But the ad that absolutely scared the living sh*t out of me this Sunday was that of Chantex. So much so, that I remembered the name and looked it up first thing this morning.

I can't find the ad on youtube, but Chantex is supposed to help you quit smoking. The ad used the age old metaphor of the race between the tortuous and the hare . While this, is the first thing that comes to my mind, the more educated consumer, probably got the hyperbole and thought it was clever. I found out through some research that I saw the second ad in a very controversial campaign (this being first) after it was discovered that the pills had some psychiatric side effects.

The phrase the frightened me......"...this pill may cause depression and suicidal thoughts and behavior."

They just snuck that in there. With a cute picture of a rabbit on the screen they basically told all of America that developing a psychological disorder was better than smoking. And then at the end they stated a stat...."after 12 weeks, 44% of user reached theirquitting goal."

And it probably true. And the other 66%...jumped to their death from a high rise window.

But, I suppose that this strategy is better (morally speaking) than the previous "unbranded" approach which drove people to a website and not the drug.

9.20.2008

So...some people really dont like Sarah Palin. Whether it be...within her own state....or in Canada.

Meet Heather Mallick of CBC Canada. She writes a column. And she definetly expressed her opinion.

"....she added nothing to the ticket that the Republicans didn’t already have sewn up, the white trash vote....It’s possible that Republican men, sexual inadequates that they are, really believe that women will vote for a woman just because she’s a woman. They’re unfamiliar with our true natures. Do they think vaginas call out to each other in the jungle night?,,,,Palin has a toned-down version of the porn actress look favoured by this decade’s woman, the over treated hair, puffy lips and permanently alarmed expression. Bristol has what is known in Britain as the look of the teen mum, the “pramface.” Husband Todd looks like a roughneck; Track, heading off to Iraq, appears terrified. They claim to be family obsessed while being studiously terrible at parenting. What normal father would want Levi “I’m a fuckin’ redneck” Johnson prodding his daughter?....Palin has it all, along with being vicious and profoundly dishonest..."