Russia Wants To Fucking Ban Swearing

In shows, films, plays and at concerts.

Fucking hell, Russia. According to the BBC, the lower house of the Russian Parliament has just passed a bill that bans all swearing in films, music and other works of art including live concerts. Russia's citizens will be looking at fines of up to 2,5000 roubles ($70 USD) for swearing in public — a penalty they will be expected to throw into a gigantic swear jar in Palace Square, St. Petersburg.* Russian officials will even have to pay double, which means that Putin could soon be broke, so yay! Jokes; he is exempt.

What counts as a swear word, you say? A panel of Russian 'experts' will determine exactly what counts as a swear if the measure is approved by the upper house and signed into law by Putin on 1 July 2014. If you’re at a loss personally, as to what the best swears are in Russian, see our handy guide below. If you're planning a trip to Russia, take a loud speaker and make sure you're on high ground (out of reach) or otherwise hiding.