Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Cause of Maturity

As I enter another of my usually temporary bursts of maturity, I feel a little more confident that this one will last. Because I believe I have finally determined the true cause of lasting maturity. It is not based in soul-searching reflection. Nor is it based in ambition, or determination. No, it is based in having to pay the electricity bill.

Things that Mature Adults do:

Take showers that are not half an hour long. Or an hour long.

Turn lights off when they leave a room, rather than, say, leave for the day with the lights on in their dorm room as was previously their habit.

Rely on natural light when possible, rather than sit in front of a window at noon with every light in the room turned on for no apparent reason.

Not turn on every single light in the house at night because they heard a creak and now are completely and utterly convinced that there is an axe-murderer or a clown SOMEWHERE.

Cook efficiently, instead of one thing at a time.

Wear socks instead of raising the heat unnecessarily.

Open windows instead of turning on the air conditioner unnecessarily.

Go to bed early instead of staying up till 4 am with the lights on.

Get up early instead of wasting hours of daylight.

Things that will reduce my electricity bill:

Taking showers that are not half an hour long. Or an hour long.

Turning lights off when I leave a room, rather than, say, leaving for the day with the lights on in my dorm room as was previously my habit.

Relying on natural light when possible, rather than sitting in front of a window at noon with every light in the room turned on for no apparent reason.

Not turning on every single light in the house at night because I heard a creak and now am completely and utterly convinced that there is an axe-murderer or a clown SOMEWHERE.

Cooking efficiently, instead of one thing at a time.

Wearing socks instead of raising the heat unnecessarily.

Opening windows instead of turning on the air conditioner unnecessarily.

Going to bed early instead of staying up till 4 am with the lights on.

Getting up early instead of wasting hours of daylight.

So now, I'm going to start acting like an ADULT. In one respect, anyway. I think if I were magically to morph fully into an adult in one setting my brain would short-circuit, and I would probably die. Baby steps.