Just because…

Just because you want something, it doesn’t mean it’s only a matter of time before you get it. If not having your goal isn’t scary enough you may find it too easy to simply go without.

Have you ever been told that if you want something enough then you will get it? Most probably yes. If you have read the book The Secret then you have had that philosophy rammed down your throat. Do you believe it? Most probably no. Am I being a pessimism riddled cynic who is charged up from eating way too many Crunchy Nut Cornflakes? Possibly. Read on if you still give a damn, I hope to make some sense somewhere.

When I first meet a client I am often presented with a list of things that they want. “I want to lose 2 stone”, “I want to be a 32inch waist”, “I want a six-pack”. It’s also typical that the client has wanted these things for quite some time and I am their last resort. It always gets me wondering; if they really wanted it, why don’t they have it already? Just wanting an outcome isn’t enough. If it was, you’d have it by now.

Here’s where I’m going to get confusing. In my mind, you shouldn’t only want something. You also need to not want not having that something. We have comfortable lives. Our wants and desires are surrounded by safety nets of the things we already have. We want things, but we don’t mind if we don’t get them as we’re actually OK. Here’s an example: Person A wants to lose 2 stone, to go from 15 stones to 13 stones in weight. If he doesn’t reach his target, he remains at somewhere between 13 and 15 stone and life goes on. Person B has exactly the same goal, but if he doesn’t reach his target he will die. Who will be more successful with their weight loss? I know this is extreme but it illustrates a point. Person A wants to lose the weight but probably doesn’t really mind if he doesn’t. Person B reaaaaaaalllly doesn’t want to not lose the weight. His motivation will work from both ends. Not only will he look great for his Christmas party if he loses the weight (moving towards something positive), but he will also escape death (moving away from something negative).

Reading that back, it is an awful example so I will move straight on to the advice I want to give. If you really want to succeed in your health and fitness goals you need to have motivation from both ends. Picture reaching your goal and how great that is going to feel. If you haven’t already done this then you have lots of scope to improve your motivation! Take a lot of time building this picture and put some effort into making it as real as it can be in your head. You also need to spend some time imagining things you don’t want. Things that directly relate to your goals. For instance, looking through your Summer holiday pictures and being embarrassed, or getting to New Year’s Day 2014 and setting the same old goals, or trying, and failing, to fit in to your favorite jeans/dress. Note down all the things you are actively moving away from and build up a desire to keep them as far away as possible.

So, in the New Year, make some resolutions, and make some anti-resolutions to go with them. In the meantime, I would advise not to eat Crunchy Nut Cornflakes too late at night as the sugar does some strange things to your brain.