Monday, December 03, 2007

In imagination, she is brave and strong. “I’m going to hug Santa,” she promised on the way to the annual children’s Christmas party. Put on by the smallest affiliate college of the university where I teach, this event is exactly the kind of holiday tradition I used to envy in other, more fortunate children: there are crafts and cookies, a few half-hearted Christmas carols, and then at four o’clock Santa himself arrives with carefully selected gifts for each child. These are no token bits of plastic: they are real, battery-operated toys. Last year we got the Leap Pad Fridge Farm; this year it was a light-up game of Whack-a-Mole, complete with four mallets.

Pie was excited. She understands about Santa this year, and her excitement about presents is no longer confined to simply the wrapping paper and boxes – alongside the light of Christmas magic there is a distinct gleam of avarice in her eyes. She envisioned herself striding up to Santa, snuggling in his lap, conversing readily and audibly about what she wanted for Christmas. In her gleeful anticipation I caught a glimpse of my own winter dreams of gliding smoothly and effortlessly across the ice, unbothered by loose laces or cold toes, certainly not huddling miserably by the side of the arena, begging my dad for fifty cents with which to buy a styrofoam cup of scalding hot water flavoured with a thin bit of chocolate syrup.

In the end she was braver and stronger than I, or even she, expected. She ventured across the stage unaccompanied, all the way up to the cozy armchair where Santa sat chortling. There she paused, stricken all at once by the impracticability of her plans, the sheer impossibility of climbing into this big red man’s lap. Her eyes were round and terrified but she did not bolt: she accepted her gift gravely and then tiptoed across to the other side of the stage, where I stood waiting.

45 comments:

Both of my older kids were terrified of Santa for years. This is the first year that Hailey has willingly sat in his big, red lap. She is six. But Elyse refused to go near him so I look forward to a few more years of pictures like yours.

Good for her. Getting up on a stage is daunting enough let alone dealing with the Santa stuff. Best wishesSomething peculiar has happened to blogger comments so just for now, this is my calling card "Whittereronautism"so we can find each other.

Santa visited our church supper last Saturday, and I witnessed one dad trying to force his two-year-old daughter onto Santa's lap. She was screaming and struggling; busybody that I am, I had a hard time biting my tongue and not yelling, "Leave her alone! Can't you see she's terrified?" It was like something out of David Sedaris.

My oldest daughter has passed through her entire life so far without ever getting closer than a meter from Santa or his dopplegangers. Despite her polite distance, she's had quite a cheerful childhood so far.And that Pie. How cute is she?

Anonymous - Santa was very nice about it. He paused only long enough to be sure she wasn't going to change her mind, and then handed her the gift. I knew there was no way she was going to sit on his lap - what got to me was the fact that she didn't know it - didn't find out until the last minute.

I am much braver in my imagination too..I'm always a little conflicted about the "here, go sit in a sweaty, strange man's lap" business with Santa. I can't stand to watch people forcing their screaming children to do it for a photo. But I love reading about Brave Pie who was SO SET ON IT. Up close, the beard and red suit is a little intimidating... not to mention the stage fright.

Oh...you so perfectly described the way I think so many of us feel facing new situations! We imagine ourselves entering with confidence and smoothly gliding through, but reality is usually much different. That story coupled with the picture is priceless.

So cute. Cordy finally understands Santa this year, and has asked to go see him. We're going to try it, I think. We'll just go to the mall on a weekday afternoon when it isn't busy so she can have the chance to warm up to him. I hope she'll have the same courage!