I can't ask for something from a girl. I'm not gonna say what. I just can't risk getting kicked in the balls again.

lol

understandable, quite understandable. yet never fear~ i've devised another method that isn't as blunt as simply speaking the words, therefore less likely to unleash her womanly fury upon your goods. i shall explain said method in the series of steps below

1. approach her calmly
2. now it's time for the proper facial expressions: all you need to do is lick your lips once or twice, and perhaps toss in a blink

~here's where the men are chosen amongst the boys~

3. extend both of your hands forward and place them within 1.5 ft of her face
4. with the thumb and index finger of your left hand, create an "O" roughly the size of a half dollar
5. now, it's time to erect that promiscuous other index finger on your right hand
6. firmly insert the right hand index finger into the "half dollar", wiggle it around a tad, then proceed to remove it. (rinse/repeat multiple times so she is sure to get a clear picture)

7. you've made it this far, great job everyone! by now, the spitting image of a wooden spoon stirring dough will be engraved into her once dense mind~ in mere moments of performing these actions, poots™ guarantees you will have exactly what you've desired from the beginning, her back in the kitchen whipping up freslhy baked homemade pastries
8. i'm srsly not on glue