Long Road to China - Our Adoption Story

Donations can be made nation wide at any Trustmark National Bank through the account:

Phillip Smith or Niki J. Smith's Adoption Account

If you would like to mail a donation, please mail it to

Phil or Niki Smith

P.O. Box 332 Rienzi, MS 38865

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I think we need to get Pinkie fixed

So today Colt walks into the room followed by Macy Jade.( The following has not been dramatized for effect) Colt: I think we need to get Pinkie (our 4 lb. poodle) fixed. Macy (indignantly): Colt, she DOESN'T even have electronics!First of all, Colt doesn't really have a clue about Pinkie going into heat. He parrots what he hears from us. And yes, she does need to go under the knife. We have given him the "parent" version of what is going on. If you are a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We lie to our kids. We do this for a million reasons. Sometimes we lie about what happened to Fido, or give the easy version of what happened to whomever has just died. So truth be told, we lie or omit or glaze over the harsh realities of life. This is understandable. We wan't to protect them from the world and in a sense, preserve their innocence. I think this way of thinking (the not telling the WHOLE truth bit) is not totally without merit. I've been teaching 14 years or so and the students that REALLY crack the code often times sorta just give up. These are usually the loner types- you know, dress in black, play Magic the Gathering, etc. When they figure out that when they get in trouble the crap is going to hit the fan, but its a different story when betty sue- my parents own this way cool business-popular gets caught in a pickle, they start seeing the world through jaded eyes. They seem to reach reality and adulthood a little bit before the rest of the pack. So, what is best? I've tossed this one around for years, but never really understood it until I had kids. The lies we tell are meant to do only good, but I've come to realize that there is some point at which we are doing the youth a disservice by perpetuating the "cocoon" effect. We sorta forget to tell them everything and (along with a constant dosing of self-confidence booster) before long we have a bunch of 18 year old's that think they can run the world. They don't have a real clue as to the "real" word REALLY operates. We have forgotten to tell them that their judgement is naturally going to stink because they are young and just haven't been around long enough know a lot and its not totally their fault. It's what some would call a Catch 22. See, this whole artificial world that we have created for them makes US feel better as parents, it creates a temporary safety net, but has its drawbacks. When the REAL stuff comes along, do they have the information they need to really make the wise decision? I grew up hearing that drugs were bad. Good lesson. I heard how they can ruin your life and etc, etc. That... is a really good half truth. What nobody tells you is that "they can cause great temporary pleasure, but this pleasure clouds your judgement and older folks with tons more maturity and judgement than you have lost everything because they eventually lost ANY judgement- so what i the world makes you think that you are the exception?- you can't even handle taking out the dog. Pleasure trumps judgement. Always has. So DON'T DO DRUGS. Life will be hard enough as it is." So, before long it is their friends that tell them what getting high is all about (the stuff that was left out of the Just Say No pamphlet) and they lack the knowledge and education to often handle the situation. Past generations didn't operate on the " I'm 18 and smart and can do anything I want" mentality. The pre-industrial folks told them (the young uns) that their judgement was crap and they pretty much understood that they lacked the skills to make it in the world without the guidance of a Yoda. This spawned the apprentice concept. They knew where they stood. Now, this approach is not flawless in the least. If we don't have a little self-confidence we will never REALLY roll the dice. As I have written about before, It is never to early to chart your destiny- to change the world; but, If you have such a warped- Mayberry concept of what goes on out there- what are you really doing? What are you really changing? So what should we be telling the youth of our nation? I don't have the answers, but I know for me I never really found my footing until I started to SEE the world in which God made for us. A 6 year old doesn't need to know every thing that goes on in Darfur, but if we want to change the world we need to know the world. A while back, I stepped out of the cocoon that I was living in and started to make myself SEE the world. I'm a creation of God, but so is everyone!! I can no longer pretend that what happens out there is none of my concern. We are all in this thing together- whites, blacks, asian, latinos, you name it. Arbitrary lines drawn in the sand are put there my man. I know it sounds like I'm on a rant, but this isn't a rant. This is just what's going on with me right now. I could sugar coat reality like I do for my kids, but you have grown beyond that.