The Crooked Man Cometh

The Conjuring 2

GREETINGS, friends, and welcome once again to your source for spooky… The Cathedral is back in business, and this time we’re taking a look at a fresh movie on the block. The Conjuring 2 made its terrifying debut this weekend, and after hearing four separate people give positive reviews, I knew I had to see this one. Now know this… The first Conjuring was one of few movies to get a perfect score on this blog, so needless to say that’s a tough act to follow. And Horror movie sequels in general don’t often succeed, as it were. So I was VERY glad to see this one deliver… Anyway, let’s get into it.

It’s the mid-1970’s, and Ed & Lorraine Warren are investigating one of their darkest, most sinister cases ever in Amityville, New York. The aftermath of that event has left psychological scars on Lorraine. Enough to the point that she’s unwilling to take on any new cases. But elsewhere in the world, a struggling mother is witnessing something happening to her daughter. She’s speaking with the voice of an old man. She’s claiming that someone, or something, is intruding on her room in the night. And her house is slowly getting trashed by an evil spirit. But she’s probably faking it, right? …….. Right?

I’m wondering how long it’ll take for James Wan to be recognized as one of the better horror directors in history. He’s already the director and/or producer of The Conjuring, Insidious, Saw (and sequels), and Dead Silence. And he’s got a strong docket still coming, including Lights Out, and mulitple Insidious sequels. The dude is legit. And admittedly, there seems like a very similar tone between the Conjuring and Insidious movies, but they have their differences, and at the end of the day, they’re both pretty damn scary. And that’s the bottom line.

Back to business. Say 10 Hail Mary’s and let’s go in for A Closer Look

Villain: A sinister demon. That’s all you get.

How do I Stop It?: As is the case with the first movie, this is a foul, horrible beast. You’ll need some serious help if you’re confronted with this one.

Lessons Learned: Ok. How do I get this to sink in? Spirit boards are generally not a good idea. So making a spirit board… that’s an even worse idea. If there’s a way to communicate with the dead, leave it to the pros, eh? And another thing. Should you have a nightmare of a particularly creepy spirit, you shouldn’t EVER feel the need to make a painting of said spirit, and hang it on your effing wall! EVER. FO RILL.

Who Do I Watch With?: Anyone who’s up for a good, clean, scary movie. I do recommend bringing someone though. This one’s pretty spooky.

Movie Trivia: On the first day of shooting, an actual priest was brought in to bless the set (creepy trivia!). Also, James Wan turned down an unknown (but claimed to be very large) amount of money to direct Fast 8, in order to direct The Conjuring 2. \m/ \m/

Rating the Flick

Villain: 10/10. Wow this thing is nuts. As good as the demon in the first movie was, I think this one was even scarier. Wan really had a great design for the character(s), and I’m sure they’ll certainly be in a lot of upcoming nightmares.

Scare Factor: Palms doth sweateth (9/10)

This is a pretty long movie by horror standards, and while there are a few slow parts here and there, the scares are also there, the whole time. Be warned, this is a very scary movie.

Gore Rating: Barely Bloody Machete (1/5)

Not much to worry about here. Similar to the first one, basically no gore involved, but as Mr. Wan has shown us, it’s not needed to get you jumping in these films.

Overall Rating: 5/5 Recliners

….because Chairs! Yes, another perfect score. And I dare say (I dare, I dare!) that The Conjuring 2 is even better than the first movie. It’s just… really really good. The plot development is great, there’s good foreshadowing, subtle references to other films in the saga, and most importantly, straight up scary stuff. Really really solid film here. I don’t really know what else to say, so I think I’m just going to end it on that. If you get a chance, SEE THIS MOVIE IN THEATERS. It’s worth the ticket price.

So that’ll wrap up this review. As it turns out, there’s more horror movies being released in the coming months, so stay tuned. Never know what you might see on here… Oh, and I’ll leave you with this…