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The top 5 annoying things people say to music writers

Thanks to a particularly awesome post on metalsucks.net about the Top 39 Annoying Things That (Local) Bands Do—not to mention a recent comment I received about losing my touch and becoming too nice—I decided to ride some coattails and let you know the top five annoying things people say to (local) music writers.

No, you don’t. You’re
playing the same set you did the very first day I saw you five years
ago. Oh sure, there are a few new covers and you totally worked out some
feelings with your new commitment to lyricism but, (and I get that I
listen to/dissect music on a more comprehensive level than the average
human because it’s my job) growth is not your strong suit. Playing to a
handful of drunken, middle-aged weirdos is your strong suit.

Yeah,
don’t bother to burn me some tracks or drop your CD at the office or
even just straight email me some MP3s. If there’s one thing I love, it’s
when a band basically tells me they’re far too busy assuming the
position of neo-John Lennon to put in the same effort as, y’know,
successful bands.

To
dispel a common misconception about myself, I love covers. They can be
awesome and fun and creative and hell, this column itself is a cover of
sorts.

But whereas
tribute bands like Moby Dick or passion projects like Chango clearly
take themselves with a grain of salt and are clear about their intent,
it’s really weird to stock your set with a ton of note-for-note covers
and then act like you’ve somehow achieved something. I’m not going to
trace the “Mona Lisa” and say I’m a great artist.

Recently
both Caitlin Brothers and David Badstubner of the band Bedlambs wrote
me to tell me they appreciated my criticism of their self-titled debut.
Obviously nobody loves to hear these things about their music, but
Brothers and Badstubner were still very adult and accepting and open
about the situation, and it was so refreshing I almost died. In other
cases I’ve been told everything from I don’t know what I’m talking about
to I actively desire the failure of the local scene. This is
preposterous as I live here, too, and obviously I’d like it if all the
local bands got better. That’s a joke (of sorts), so don’t freak out or
anything.

We’ve come to this a lot
over my tenure, Santa Fe, and it would be great if there could be some
sort of definitive understanding between the two of us. So let me be
perfectly clear when I tell you the following: It is not now, nor has it
ever been my job to make sure you get shows or good press clippings or
new followers or any of the other things that fall squarely in your
camp. Your shows, your fans, your pay, your album sales are just
that—YOURS! Believe me, I love getting feedback from the community.
Y’all have never been shy about telling me exactly where I stand. And
whereas I have made a conscious effort to open my ears a little more and
to look at music in perhaps a less negative light, I still get the same
Thumper from Bambi comments about saying nice things or, my
least favorite statement, about how if I don’t love the scene I should
just move away again. First of all, I tried that and clearly I suck too
hard to make it outside of Santa Fe. Secondly, that’s a pretty
oppressive statement that seems to be the battle cry of those too scared
to receive honest, well-thought-out criticism.