Wednesday, June 11, 2014

As I started to read Ginger Vieira’s book Diabetes Burnout,
I was hit by an incredible sense of guilt. Did I push my son too hard?
Did I expect too much? I was later vindicated but I was reminded the
overwhelming guilt that comes with being a parent of a child with
diabetes…or maybe its just me.Well meaning people share with us many “reasons” that children
develop diabetes and somewhere in the back of our mind’s ( well my mind
anyway) we ask was that it? Was that why my son developed this disease?
Did I not breast feed my son long enough? Did I feed him cow’s milk too
soon? Was vaccinating on schedule a bad thing? Was there a family
history that we missed? I know that I didn’t feed him too much junk. I
know that it wasn’t two years of chocolate bars that did this to him but
maybe that first time that he seemed off months before I should have
realized that he was seriously ill and that it wasn’t just the flu?Eventually I realized that I couldn’t spend all of my energy feeling
guilty about the “what ifs”. Diabetes took up enough of my energy on
its own…but that led me to a new source of guilt. Had I denied my other
son because diabetes took so much of my energy? My older son never
complained but it was a question that popped into my head now and
again. We went to diabetes related events and he met many new friends.
He always seemed to have more fun than my child with diabetes.I was there for my oldest son in his events and activities. He knew
that when there was an issue that required someone to stand beside him, I
always did. I was also there for the softball games, school events,
report card days, sick days, and driving school. I was pretty sure that
I had successfully found a balance.But what about a balance with diabetes and my youngest son? Did it
take over everything? Did he hate me because I punished him for diabetes
related offenses? Did he feel that I had robbed him of his childhood by
focusing on testing and injecting when he wanted to play and forget it
all?My children seem to be well-adjusted. We have memories of family
vacations and times spent with each other. We communicate regularly. I
guess I didn’t scar them too badly–I hope.I didn’t have to feel guilty
about robbing my children of their childhoods. Diabetes changed things
but it didn’t destroy it.One other area of guilt seems to always flutter on the sidelines. I
know I am not alone in with this one. I have heard other parents mention
it. Its the guilt that comes when our children go away and take
diabetes with them. It’s that time when they go to the other parent’s
house, spend the night with a friend or with grandparents. It’s that
time when they go to camp for a week or move away from home. It is then
that a new guilt moves in. I no longer have to think about diabetes
24/7. Oh I still wake at night. I still look at a meal and
automatically count the carbs and dose insulin in my head. I wonder
what my child’s blood glucose level is at any given time. I worry and
wonder if he is taking proper care of himself, but I have a break. I
don’t really have to be awake at night. I can enjoy that extra glass of
wine without fear of dealing with a low later that evening. I don’t
have to remember to test after that walk. I have it easy. It’s not
fair. The guilt becomes stifling.As a parent, I want to carry the burden of this disease for my son
but I can’t. I want to give him a break but I can’t even if I get one!
It doesn’t seem right. I must be a terrible parent…but maybe I am not.When my son is with me, I help him with care when he wants. When he
has an issue and he is away from me, he calls and asks for help. We
talk about readings…when he is ready. We talk about other things as
well. I work hard to make diabetes the last thing I ask him about not
the first.Guilt doesn’t get me anywhere. It’s a backwards looking emotion. Life
didn’t come with a guidebook. My children were not born with a manual
attached. I do my best. We all do. Guilt must be released not
harbored…and I do. I have made mistakes but my kids are okay. They are
strong. They are relatively healthy. They are smart. They do me
proud. Why waste energy with guilt? Move forward and smile. It’s the
only way to go.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Ginger Vieira recently released her third book called Dealing with Diabetes Burnout, How to Recharge and Get Back on Track When You Feel Frustrated and Overwhelmed by Diabetes.
I was once again lucky enough to be given a copy of the book to read.
As I prepared to write my overview of the book, I took a glance at how
many pages of interest I had marked off. A lot! That means that this was
a wonderful book with many excellent points for me to share!

I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I began reading this book.
What would I learn? Would much of it apply to me? Who would this book
fit? Well, I learned quite a bit. I gained a new perspective and I can
think of quite a few people who this book would help. Most importantly
however, it is a great hands on resource for people who live with
diabetes–Type 1 or Type 2.

This book doesn’t just give you a bunch of information and feel good
stories. It is filled with exercises and activities that Ginger
challenges you to do to help you deal with your own diabetes burnout.
She doesn’t chastise you for the fact that “I haven’t checked my blood
sugar in three weeks (ehh…months)” –a fabulous title of one of the
chapters of the book. Instead she reminds you that you are being asked
to manage something that your body is supposed to do on its own based on
a variety of other physiological and hormonal processes. (page 21).
She tells you to look at all of the great things that you are doing and
praise yourself for the one thing you are getting right. “developing
the ability to step back and see what wasn’t working–rather than blaming
yourself–is the trick to creating a new plan that will lead you to your
goal.” (Page 33)

This theme is further emphasized by all of the great chapter titles
like “I want to be perfect by tomorrow (or I’m giving up!) where Ginger
notes that some times are not ideal for change. She suggests that you
create your own personalized “pick up plan” to help you refocus in times
of stress.

Ginger offers tips on how to handle support from well-meaning people
who really don’t get it as well as how to best make use of people who do
get it and do want to help. She shows you how to use technology to
make your life a bit easier as well as great real life tips for those of
us who would just like to live a healthier lifestyle but find ourselves
giving up too soon.

Being a parent of a child with diabetes, as I began to read this book
I felt horrible. I was a failure. I was the parent who struggled to
understand how you could “forget” to do something that you have done all
of your life. Did I push too hard? Should I have been calmer when his
doctor praised him for testing more than once per day and I was looking
to see 8-12 readings per day? I was sure that I had totally ruined my
son’s childhood.

Thankfully I got some reprieve from my incredible guilt when I moved
into the chapter called “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. Here Ginger
talks about raising a child with diabetes and how truly difficult it is
to do. She highlights many of the fears that we have. The torture we go
through when our child is low and disoriented or the failure we feel
when they are high and we are positive that we alone are responsible for
the kidney damage they may one day have. She offers more wisdom and
options to dealing with our children and how to get through to our
teens. I was left knowing that I hadn’t scared my child completely…well
at least not in that realm.

Nearing the end of the book, I came across one of the very best
quotes I have ever read on the issue of diabetes care and one that
should be framed and read by everyone dealing with this disease
(especially us guilt laden parents)….“Doing the best any of us can do in life with diabetes
does not have to mean perfect blood sugars all the time. Sometimes our
best is awesome and sometimes it’s not quite so awesome but it’s still
our best in that moment. And that’s okay. It has to be, because
“perfection” is a crazy expectation.”

Dealing with Diabetes Burnout
is a fabulous resource. If I had one criticism of the book it would be
having too many personal stories illustrating various points in the
book. Reading through page after page of examples of other people’s
burnout was taxing on my incredibly shrinking attention span. That said
however, I have no clue as to how I would have cut back on some of the
submissions that were used. They were often very powerful stories that
needed to be shared.

Who should read this book? Anyone living with diabetes because as
Ginger Vieira notes, at one point you will go through some form of
burnout. To a lesser degree, parents of children of diabetes (no matter
what age your “child” may be). This book will give you insight into
the emotions that your child may be dealing with and will also give you a
few tips to help you in your own life as well.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Yes, you read that right...Diabetes Greeting Cards!
I often get requests from people who want to share a post on my blog. They want to write about how to cure your diabetes by eating their miracle food. They want to tell my readers all about their awesome socks that will instantly cure all that ails you and things that you didn't even know were ailing you. Once in a blue moon, someone will send me something relevant and I will think about posting what they send me.
A few weeks ago I received a request from a woman who wanted to promote her greeting cards. My first thought was...wow! She called me Barb and not "Dear Advocacy". I decided to read a bit further. They had a really interesting concepts, they were cards for people with diabetes but they weren't stupid. They were actually kind of cute. Enough from me on the subject though....
I'm Nene Adams and I'm an insulin dependent Type II diabetic. I've also been a greeting card designer since 2007.
Following a stay of several weeks in the hospital for a diabetes related medical problem, I was inspired to do some research into diabetes. I learned a lot, including the fact that there seemed to be very few greeting cards designed specifically for diabetics.I thought there needed to be more and better choices for a group of people the mainstream card retailers were ignoring.
Me and my partner, Corrie Kuipers, have teamed up with a few other talented artists - Doreen Erhardt, Betsy Cush and Sharon Fernleaf - to create a line of greeting cards for children and teenagers/young adults with diabetes. The messages are positive and supportive, not just a generic "get well." The images are colorful and often humorous in each artist's distinctive style.
We hope these cards will help inspire and encourage diabetic kids and their loved ones.
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/get-well-feel-better-cards/diabetes

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Disclaimer...in case you didn't already know...

None of the writing, opinions, or information contained in this blog should be taken as any kind of suggestion for your own diabetes care. I am not a doctor, dietician or trained diabetes educator (although I play one in real life) and have no formal medical training. If you have questions or concerns about individual health matters or the management of your diabetes, please consult your doctor, specialist nurse or diabetes care team.