Podcast Episode 5: Kindness, Part 2: Being Your Best Self

“What’s your problem!?”
People often ask me what to do about difficult relationships. It’s the most common question I get – from clients and from friends.

“What should I say??”
“Should I respond to this crazy text message?!”
“I just kept quiet, what could I have said? I was so angry!”

Yup.People have the capacity to infuriate us.

“She should know me by now! How could she do this?!”
“He never changes! He is so critical!”

And the closer people are to us, the more likely they are to make us fuming mad.

Why?
Because we expect everyone to be nice, decent, decorous. And we expect our loved ones to be angelic (and to read our minds).

So, when those things don’t happen, we feel totally betrayed. We get enraged. It’s as if we had a deal with the world that if we were generally good people, that everyone else should be good, too.

Look, I’m in the same boat. I wish this were the case. But it’s not.

The only thing that matters is how YOU approach a situation.

The only thing that matters is how kind YOU are, and how healthy, balanced, forgiving, and gentle YOU behave.

THAT’S IT.

Does that piss you off? Yea, well, it’s not easy. But, that’s the brutal truth.
But you know what? Thank goodness that’s the answer. Why?

BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

If you can begin to solve your interpersonal issues by focusing on how YOU respond, then you have more control than you thought.

People can and will make you angry. But you don’t need to respond in that way. You can say, “Excuse me for a minute, I’ll be right back”
Walk it off. Remember you are the kindest badass in the world.
Then you can say:
“Let’s talk more, because I have a different view, and perhaps we can meet in the middle.”
Then smile 🙂 <—- just like that.

You can choose to think the worst of people (as manipulating, as power hungry, as lying), or you can choose to see them as they are: most likely confused and with their own unique perspective. It takes guts and practice to be generous and kind – especially if you are accustomed to thinking differently in the past.

Not convinced? Tune in to the latest podcast.
This is part 2 of the 2-part series on Kindness in relationships. I get together with the guru of relationships, Dr. Fritz Galette (also one the kindest people I know), and we talk about why is it so crucial to just be nice!