A girl with autism longs to fit in

Saturday

Ask Azrael DuBose what she dreads most about going back to school and the Savannah 10-year-old responds: the bullying.

Ask her what her one wish is, and her answer is equally as painful.

"That kids learn more about autism and not make fun of it.''

Azrael is just like any other cute little girl. She has freckles, pet pugs she adores and a little sister who likes to tag along. But Azrael also has a disorder called Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that makes it difficult to pick up on the social skills that come naturally to most people.

Azrael's been teased so cruelly she comes home in tears. She prefers to be with her family or adults, than with children.

Insults from kids include asking her the antiquated "Were you born on Jupiter?," calling her the B-word, spreading rumors and simply leaving her out.

Azrael and her parents, Christy and Randy, agreed to share Azrael's story in hopes of increasing acceptance of children with autism, specifically Asperger's.

The older Azrael gets, the more difficulty she has fitting in.

That's why Azrael joined an ongoing social skills group designed to teach everyday skills such as how to carry on a simple conversation, deal with bullying and, most important, how to make friends. The goal is to decrease isolation and anxiety.

The next 8-week course, organized by The Mindspring Center and the Matthew Reardon Center, begins Sept. 8. The group therapy is open to all children with communication, behavior and learning disorders.

The DuBoses hope the group will help make Azrael's fifth-grade year one with less heartache, less ridicule, less longing for acceptance.

"Asperger's makes me wonderful"

Expect to hear a lot about autism this school year. Schools are struggling to cope, as an increasing number of children are diagnosed with the neurological disorder.

Today, one in 150 children has autism or an autism spectrum disorder, which encompasses several related disorders such as Asperger's. In the 1970s, the commonly held belief was that three in every 10,000 children had autism.

If teaching autistic children how to process basic social cues sounds ridiculous, then chances are you don't know anyone suffering like Azrael.

Azrael - whose name means "with the help of God'' - has good verbal skills and already reads on a seventh-grade level.

But she doesn't understand body language, facial expressions or nuances in language. She doesn't speak sarcasm, but instead takes what you say literally. She tends to skip clichés and standard greetings.

"Did you know the bushbaby pees on his hands?" is how Azrael greeted a woman at church recently.

Similar to others with Asperger's, also called "the geek syndrome," Azrael has a high IQ and is teeming with talent. She loves music and animals, wants to be a zoologist and can tell you all about the eating habits of a kinkajou.

Which are all traits that make Azrael fascinating - to adults - but turn her into a prime bullying target in a mainstream elementary classroom.

Unlike some other disabilities, Asperger's has no immediately obvious physical symptoms.

"Asperger's is an invisible disability," said Azrael's mom, a special education teacher.

As a result, children with Asperger's often are mistaken as simply having a personality flaw and being defiant smart alecks who speak their minds, even if what they have to say is insulting.

Azrael, whose diagnoses also include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, becomes irate when classmates don't follow rules. "It's hard to make friends when you are perceived as a tattle-tale,'' said Christy DuBose.

The phone rarely rings for Azrael. She's not often invited to go places.

Stephanie Warren, licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who helps run the social skills group, says despite the challenges, Asperger's can be a gift.

"These are really interesting kids who just need to be taught skills that come naturally to others, such as why they shouldn't bore someone by talking in depth about the barometric pressure during a hurricane on March 30, 1937," Stephanie said.

Stephanie's husband of 12 years has Asperger's. He put the disorder's positive traits to good use and became an aerospace engineer.

Azrael's parents want their daughter's future to be just as bright. Her mom even bought Azrael a T-shirt that reads "Asperger's makes me wonderful."

At the start of school, Azrael and her parents will do what they always do: bring her new teacher a stack of Asperger's books and hope Azrael's wish comes true.