JACK REACHER is a smart brutal suspense flick... just what I'd hope Christopher McQuarrie would make!

I’ve seen JACK REACHER for about a month now. Just cleared the embargo stage so let’s hop right into it. Why should you give two shits about this film? Well, it is based on a series of books by Lee Child that has huge fans. Reacher is essentially the most badass Military Detective that there ever was. He found problems. That life is in the rearview and now he wanders the earth like Kane from Kung Fu having adventures. Now, there’s no Eastern philosophy. Jack Reacher is a bit more like John Rambo… except a whole lot more functional. Rambo’s zero to sixty is almost instantaneous. Jack Reacher has that kind of acceleration of violence, but he has a rather intense personal code. I’m pretty sure he belongs behind bars… but he’s kinda like the whole damn A-TEAM boiled into one very lethal Tom Cruise.

Reacher is probably a bit more talkative than his character in the book, but McQuarrie’s dialogue for Reacher is so choice. In fact if you watch Cruise’s Jack Reacher… efficient & precise describe his actions, dialogue and line of thought. Shortest distances. He keeps things explosive, even if they’re barbs of the verbal side.

You should not be surprised. This film is the second feature film directed by Christopher McQuarrie. The first is an intensely violent crime film called THE WAY OF THE GUN. McQuarrie is all kinds of sharp. He writes and directs like a clockwork mechanism. You always can look and marvel at the film as it comes together. It is deliberately clever & I really respond to that in a film like this.

JACK REACHER is an old school man with internally created way of life. He’s a man like The Outlaw Josey Wales. And that’s a very good film to conjure when talking about this movie. You’re talking ex-Military badass, never able to return home. Living day by day the way he lives. He’s a violent man. He stays off the clock, between the shadows. He uses the Greyhound bus system to travel. No ID checks, no tracking. You get the idea… trouble finds him… you also get the idea that people around him get hurt and he moves forward. Always forward. He doesn’t do anything that he can’t live with.

Now the bad guys in this are into political corruption, they’re part of the infection feeding on society, but that’s getting ahead of myself.

The film starts off with a sniper mass murder spree. Brutal and not glorified. It isn’t a cool scene… it’s an oddly familiar one. The kind of thing you wouldn’t be surprised to have explode into tomorrow’s media. They quickly capture the “guy” – he’s disenfranchised, ex-military… even had a history of this kind of thing. All the evidence points to him and there is an OVERWHELMING CASE against him. He says, GET JACK REACHER.

Like I said, this crime has the media circus swirling and even a transient badass like Reacher sees the news and he had sworn to this killer that… Well, that’d be telling too much. Rosamund Pike plays the lawyer defending the mass murderer against her DA Father. Things occur, Reacher begins helping the Defense after checking out the evidence. He smells a frame. Rosamund suffers a bit in the film from that Sondra Locke in JOSEY WALES syndrome. When you have Josey Wales in a movie, do you really crave anything else? She isn’t bad… she’s just doesn’t have THE part, ya know? Between Cruise and… WERNER HERZOG!

Now – I love films like this. Trail mysteries where each breadcrumb leads to the next – and then… eventually people are being killed in Werner Herzog’s fucking presence – because WERNER HERZOG is one of the scariest men ever. God bless him. He’s our Eric Von Stroheim and I adore him. People remain mysteries when they’re tough and when you hear the story Herzog tells about his character’s origin…. It is SO AWESOME – it’s a classic McQuarrie criminal bedtime tale – and I can’t get enough of these. It isn’t as operatic at Keyser Soze, but you can bet Keyser likes The Zec’s style.

If you love PARKER movies, this is a movie and a character of that kind of determination. JACK REACHER is made of that pulp – and McQuarrie knows that pulp. Cruise smartly puts himself in McQuarrie’s hands and the film that comes out of that has a wonderful swagger.

OH and Robert Duvall is a retired Marine with a Shooting Range that Reacher ends up at… and Duvall is totally in the Chief Dan George – CHARACTER & COLOR mode. He’s awesome. Just like Chief Dan George was awesome in Josey Wales.

Now I know, I’ve brought up THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES so I assume you have to want to know, what’s better? Well, OUTLAW JOSEY WALES. Duh. By miles, because that’s my favorite Eastwood western. Love it. And to have a film set in the current world that evokes that iconic man of mystery. The alley angel you hope is out there maybe putting a few wrongs right the wrong way.

This film is called JACK REACHER and after you see it, you’ll know the name and what it stands for.

Also keep your eyes on David Oyelowo, he’s the investigatind Detective on the case that starts the film. He does real good work in a role that lets him have some fun. He keeps doing really wonderful work in film. Can’t wait to see what he has for us next.

I’m so happy that McQuarrie finally has that career fire burning that I’ve wanted for him ever since I saw WAY OF THE GUN. Can I mention that film enough? And if McQuarrie gets to make a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE film like it looks like, it’ll be one helluva caper flick… hope there’s some genuine flim flam going on.

12 years between his first and second feature and McQuarrie is improving with age! Now it gets really interesting.

one of the best and most original chase sequences I have ever seen. And they HAD to do it that way, because there was no budget.
I hope the creativity's still there for the Jack Reacher film, because if so, this might be a pretty good action film too.

This aint as adaptation of the Jack Reacher books, it's something else that happens to share a name.
Lee Child whored out his principles and his 6'5" monster of a creation to give this smooth faced, cult weirdo another vehicle to ruin.
Not one mention of the fact that a dwarf is playing the role of a giant? What a bullshit review, more of a paid advertising shtick.
Fuck this site.

Did it spontaneously spring into existence, like Athena out of the head of Zeus?
I rarely call bullshit on this site, everyone is entitled to an opinion, but no one is identified as the author of this thing.
So, BULLSHIT!

I have defended you people in the past, was I an idiot to do so? How can something WITHOUT ATTRIBUTION end up here?
If you fix this quickly, my trust will be (mostly) restored. This never should have been published and speaks to something being really rotten in Denmark.
You do care about your credibility, don't you?

No, we don't. This film has nothing to do with The Outlaw Josey Wales and a comparison between the two has no place in a review for THIS film.
God, first Mr. Beaks drops a fucking Skidoo reference into his Hobbit review, now this.

Fans of the book are PISSED that Cruise was hired to play Reacher. Fans of the books are PISSED that "Lee Child" pimped his character out for a paycheck instead of standing his ground and insisting on a proper characterization. This may be a good film, but it will never be a Jack Reacher film.
Reboot!
Too soon? Not these days!

I have recently developed a bad habit of writing in a stream of consciousness mode and it really is lazy, incoherant and unpleasant to read. No more! I shall take better care in my writing, no matter how small.

Cruise delivering the tough guy lines in the trailer just sounds like an agressive car salesman.
"You think I'm a hero? Let me tell you something, I am NOT a hero. And if you're smart, that scares you because I'm a burned out loose cannon cliché on the ragged edge and I just hit rock bottom with nothing to lose."

I HATE CHRISTOPHER NOLAN. HE LAUGHED IN MY FACE WHEN I SHOWED HIM MY BATMAN UNDERPANTS WHEN I SHOWED UP ON SET UNANNOUNCED. HE SAID MY UNPRODUCED BATMAN SCRIPT NEEDED MORE WORK WHILE LAUGHING AND POINTING OUT SPELLING ERROARS AND SAID IT DIDN'T LOOK PROFESSIONAL WITH THE GRAVY STAINS ON THE COVER. FUCKING HACK. AND THEN HE DIDN'T INVITE ME TO THE SET AND DIDN'T SEND ME A FULL SCALE TUMBLER AND HE DIDN'T DEDICATE THE MOVIE TO ME EVEN THOUGH HE STOLE MY IDEAS. NOW THIS PISSES ME OFF! NOLAN YOU FUCKING HACK!

From the stupid, self-involved title to the probably ludicrous comparisons to The Outlaw Josey Wales, this review has reached a new height in Harry's gushing, sophmoric, young girl fainting at the sight of the Beatles, syccophantic rants. Never read the Reacher novels, but they sound cool. They sound similiar in theme to Vachss' Burke series. Harry's mental retardation and unclean fawning aside, I would see this for McQuarrie and Herzog's involvement.

It's kind of amazing to think of all the great journalism that has been hammered out at 2AM in order to meet a crazy deadline. Harry had a month to compose this review and didn't even remember to sign it. HELP WANTED MUCH?

...and a proofreader who doesn't mind hurting your feelings would be of great benefit.
Lee Child's Reacher novels are excellent; you should grab "Killing Floor" and actually see who the character is.
While Tom Cruise is not on my list of actors to play Reacher in any universe / timeline, I'm still in the seat Opening Day.
Lee Child is 'happy' with the film....well, DUH! What author would go "hmm...make a 17 book series's first outing on screen with Tom Cruise or pass?" and NOT go "Tom's a great choice....love this movie!"????
Janet Evanovich loved "One For The Money" and Katherine Heigl....hell, they even shot the first novel...and it mostly sucked rocks.
Just saying, an 'endorsement' from the author means little, at least to me.

-You always can look and marvel at the film as it comes together.
-Why should you give two shits about this film?
-JACK REACHER is an old school man with internally created way of life.
-Living day by day the way he lives.
-When you have Josey Wales in a movie, do you really crave anything else?
-Now I know, I’ve brought up THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES so I assume you have to want to know, what’s better? Well, OUTLAW JOSEY WALES. Duh.
-He does real good work in a role that lets him have some fun. He keeps doing really wonderful work in film.
-And if McQuarrie gets to make a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE film like it looks like, it’ll be one helluva caper flick… hope there’s some genuine flim flam going on.
*Thesis Statement/Topic Sentence misplaced at the end of the article rather than the beginning:
-This film is called JACK REACHER and after you see it, you’ll know the name and what it stands for.
*Greatest Plot Synopsis Ever (as used in this review):
-Things occur
*Analysis in that, in the context of this review, exemplifies the meaning of Irony:
-Reacher is probably a bit more talkative than his character in the book, but McQuarrie’s dialogue for Reacher is so choice. In fact if you watch Cruise’s Jack Reacher… efficient & precise describe his actions, dialogue and line of thought. Shortest distances. He keeps things explosive, even if they’re barbs of the verbal side.

That is amazing. The whole thing reads like you wrote a giant wall of text and then randomly selected where the paragraphs should go.
On the topic of the movie, I do think it shows promise. Cruise is wrong for Reacher, and the title blows, but the trailers have been solid.

I pretty much skip Harry's review and go straight to the talkbacks. Usually, after getting ripped for awhile, he'll pop back in and clarify. The guy doesn't even give two shits and a wipe about editing, structure, or coherence. Harry's reviews are interesting in the same vein as that crazy uncle you know that likes to masturbate in public places.

The closest it comes to that is in the third paragraph, and even there it's not praise.
**He writes and directs like a clockwork mechanism. You always can look and marvel at the film as it comes together. It is deliberately clever & I really respond to that in a film like this. **

for what? another 12 year wait for another average, sub-par movie that belongs in the Netflix watch instantly graveyard?
If I feel the need to watch a short man's action movie, I'm sure MI:3 will suffice.

Don't be ignorant in one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like Ignorance. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like Ignorance. Now you put ignorance in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put ignorance into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now ignorance can flow or it can crash. Be ignorant, my friend.
Excerpt form the Art of Chop.

That Twitter post is pretty damning though. Please come clean and explain that your nephew wrote this or you accidentally posted the wrong file. I even give you permission to outright LIE about it if it was in fact you. This is one of the most pathetic things I've ever read on a professional site. Nearly every paragraph is meme-worthy. You should take this thing down before I have to read quotes from it in every talkback for the rest of the site's existence.
The Troll 2 of movie reviews.

It has all the hallmarks: it's incomprehensible, it's hyperbolic, it reads as if written by a mentally-incapacitated 6th-grader.
However, the movie itself IS getting decent buzz, and I enjoyed the 5-on-1 fight clip from yesterday.

...but I saved this abortion to my home computer, for future reference. It is just so bad that I bet Quint or Beaks or someone will convince him that he finally has to edit it majorly or take it down out of embarrassment. I only hope that it doesn't contain a virus that makes my computer stupid as well.

Sentences like this are the hallmark of a half-assed book report thrown together the night before it's due. It's like it builds up to a definite, pithy conclusion that actually says nothing, but then the writer sees that he hasn't written enough to meet the minimum word count! I know because I used to do this shit all the time ... in fourth and fifth grade, before we could type shit out on computers.
*This film is called JACK REACHER and after you see it, you’ll know the name and what it stands for.
Also keep your eyes on David Oyelowo, he’s the investigatind Detective on the case that starts the film. He does real good work in a role that lets him have some fun. He keeps doing really wonderful work in film. Can’t wait to see what he has for us next.*
*real good work*! Holy shit ...

I’ve seen JACK REACHER for about a month now. - Do you mean you saw it a month ago? What do you mean you've SEEN IT FOR A MONTH?
Just cleared the embargo stage so let’s hop right into it. - What just cleared? You or the movie?
Why should you give two shits about this film? - I was hoping your review would tell me, but there's no need to curse at me about it.
Well, it is based on a series of books by Lee Child that has huge fans. - That doesn't help me, and now you are talking to yourself.
Reacher is essentially the most badass Military Detective that there ever was. - As opposed to all those other famous military detectives (racking my brains here). Also, Why capitalize Military Detectives?
He found problems. - My God! Groundbreaking for a detec- I mean, Detective.
That life is in the rearview and now he wanders the earth like Kane from Kung Fu having adventures. - Adventures! Sounds Fun…and I like Kung Fu.
Now, there’s no Eastern philosophy. - You're talking to yourself again…arguing, even.
Jack Reacher is a bit more like John Rambo… except a whole lot more functional. - Thanks, so you brought up the Kane thing just to negate it.
Rambo’s zero to sixty is almost instantaneous. - Metaphors! But, um, what does this have to do with anything?
Jack Reacher has that kind of acceleration of violence, but he has a rather intense personal code. - so, Zero to Sixty when violence is involved, and he has a code. That sentence contradicts itself.
I’m pretty sure he belongs behind bars… but he’s kinda like the whole damn A-TEAM boiled into one very lethal Tom Cruise. - Another reference that will surely dead-end. Harry, you know that sentence actually would make sense if you removed the word *but*, right?
Reacher is probably a bit more talkative than his character in the book, but McQuarrie’s dialogue for Reacher is so choice. - He talks more but the dialogue is good. Thank you for finally making a point about the movie, even if you had to resort to Ferris Bueller vocabulary to do it.
In fact if you watch Cruise’s Jack Reacher… efficient & precise describe his actions, dialogue and line of thought. - But if I don't watch him, why am I at a movie theater?
Shortest distances. - Fragment Sentences.
He keeps things explosive, even if they’re barbs of the verbal side. - Does he use explosive physical barbs as well? AWESOME!
You should not be surprised. - No, I did pay to see an action movie. I'd be pretty damn stupid to expect Flowers for Algernon or the like.
This film is the second feature film directed by Christopher McQuarrie. - Ladies and Gentlemen!!! The first sentence sp far that makes a clear point, punctuates correctly, and has no extraneous phrases. Bravo, Harry!
The first is an intensely violent crime film called THE WAY OF THE GUN. - Keep it up, doin' good!
McQuarrie is all kinds of sharp. - Yeah, losing it with the trite and underperforming metaphors again….
He writes and directs like a clockwork mechanism. - See above.
You always can look and marvel at the film as it comes together. - Jesus, I hope so… I didn't go in expecting Un Chien Andalau.
It is deliberately clever & I really respond to that in a film like this. - Good to know you don't respond to films that are accidentally clever.
JACK REACHER is an old school man with internally created way of life. - What is this, his resume as written by 1950's central casting?
He’s a man like The Outlaw Josey Wales. - Whew! I was nurturing a suspicion that he was a woman.
And that’s a very good film to conjure when talking about this movie. - SO…now you are complimenting yourself on your yet unsupported metaphors?
You’re talking ex-Military badass, never able to return home. - No, you are, but yes, I see the comparison.
Living day by day the way he lives. - Is there anyone this sentence does not apply to?
He’s a violent man. - Cohesive sentence #3!!!
He stays off the clock, between the shadows. - The space3 in between shadows is where light is. Think your metaphors though, Harry.
He uses the Greyhound bus system to travel. - I use the Greyhound Bus system to dine.
No ID checks, no tracking. - No verbs, no coherence.
You get the idea… trouble finds him… you also get the idea that people around him get hurt and he moves forward. - I should hope we get the idea, or the filmmaker is seriously lacking.
Always forward. - Which direction again? I forgot from the last sentence.
He doesn’t do anything that he can’t live with. - Neither do serial killers, but I get your point.
Now the bad guys in this are into political corruption, they’re part of the infection feeding on society, but that’s getting ahead of myself. - How so? This is a written review…put it in the order you want to.
The film starts off with a sniper mass murder spree. - Mass and Spree? Damn..now it is really unforgivable.
Brutal and not glorified. - Verbless and Thoughtless.
It isn’t a cool scene… it’s an oddly familiar one. - Good, I wouldn;t want the scene to be like it was a mass murder scene as taken from Swingers.
The kind of thing you wouldn’t be surprised to have explode into tomorrow’s media. - Explode? I'm glad you finally settled on using a verb, but please try again.
They quickly capture the “guy” – he’s disenfranchised, ex-military… even had a history of this kind of thing. - Why is Guy in quotes? Is it a chick? Is this like The Crying Game?
All the evidence points to him and there is an OVERWHELMING CASE against him. - OVERWHELMING CASE in capitals, huh? Judge'll be all over that.
He says, GET JACK REACHER. - Did he say the comma out loud too?
Like I said, this crime has the media circus swirling and even a transient badass like Reacher sees the news and he had sworn to this killer that… - Like you said? You've said nothing of the kind yet.
Well, that’d be telling too much. - AGAIN! You are writing this review…why bring it up only to argue with yourself and cut yourself off?
Rosamund Pike plays the lawyer defending the mass murderer against her DA Father. - Ah, a plot point. Wow, her father, eh? The only two lawyers in the country?
Things occur, Reacher begins helping the Defense after checking out the evidence. - OH MY GOD! LOOK OUT! THINGS ARE OCCURRING!
He smells a frame. - He feels the love.
Rosamund suffers a bit in the film from that Sondra Locke in JOSEY WALES syndrome. - You mean where she's a crappy actress up against a great actor? yeah, I can see that.
When you have Josey Wales in a movie, do you really crave anything else? - I crave the requisite amount of proteins and nutrients to survive.
She isn’t bad… she’s just doesn’t have THE part, ya know? - Harry, DO…NOT….WRITE…. BS that makes no sense like that and try to tie it up into a thought by finishing with *ya know?*.
Between Cruise and… WERNER HERZOG! - What is between them? A spider???
Now – I love films like this. - Only now, or usually?
Trail mysteries where each breadcrumb leads to the next – and then… eventually people are being killed in Werner Herzog’s fucking presence – because WERNER HERZOG is one of the scariest men ever. - That sentence is meant to describe the types of movies Harry likes. I like movies where people get killed in Werner Herzog's presence also. Excuse me, his *fucking* presence.
God bless him. - If you're trying to say we have a good villain here, please do so.
He’s our Eric Von Stroheim and I adore him. - I don't follow….because he is germanic, is both a director and actor…what do you mean?
People remain mysteries when they’re tough and when you hear the story Herzog tells about his character’s origin…. It is SO AWESOME – it’s a classic McQuarrie criminal bedtime tale – and I can’t get enough of these. - Wow, that sentence really meandered. By thew way, how can a guy with only one other directed movie under his belt have a *classic* signature?
It isn’t as operatic at Keyser Soze, but you can bet Keyser likes The Zec’s style. - Come back Harry. Reality is over here.
If you love PARKER movies, this is a movie and a character of that kind of determination. - But only IF I love Parker movies. Both of them? What about PETER PARKER movies?
JACK REACHER is made of that pulp – and McQuarrie knows that pulp. - Ick.
Cruise smartly puts himself in McQuarrie’s hands and the film that comes out of that has a wonderful swagger. - Cruise puts himself in the hands of a man who knows his pulp and a film comes out. Again, Ick.
OH and Robert Duvall is a retired Marine with a Shooting Range that Reacher ends up at… and Duvall is totally in the Chief Dan George – CHARACTER & COLOR mode. - OH! Thank god you remembered. First draft theater is now on the air!
He’s awesome. - Trenchant!
Just like Chief Dan George was awesome in Josey Wales. - But only awesome like Dan George was, not awesome like any other awesome movie actors playing great parts well.
Now I know, I’ve brought up THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES so I assume you have to want to know, what’s better? - No one cares at this point Harry. You're building a narrative around thoughts you have barely articulated even to yourself.
Well, OUTLAW JOSEY WALES. - Breath was baited, now relieved.
Duh. - You're gonna insult me about an argument you had with yourself?
By miles, because that’s my favorite Eastwood western. - The because hardly matches the logical build up, but, um great! Glad you like it.
Love it. - Sorry, glad you LOVE IT.
And to have a film set in the current world that evokes that iconic man of mystery. - …would be the basis for another fragment sentence.
The alley angel you hope is out there maybe putting a few wrongs right the wrong way. - Show me on this doll where the Alley Angel touched you the wrong way.
This film is called JACK REACHER and after you see it, you’ll know the name and what it stands for. - Good God! I bet Jack Reacher was that Jack Reacher guy all along, in that movie I just saw called Jack Reacher! Brilliant!
Also keep your eyes on David Oyelowo, he’s the investigatind Detective on the case that starts the film. - Sigh, spellcheck, Harry.
He does real good work in a role that lets him have some fun. - REAL GOOD WORK. I hope he adds that to his resume.
He keeps doing really wonderful work in film. - And on the dance floor, I hear.
Can’t wait to see what he has for us next. - Who can't? Me? You? Who am I talking to?
I’m so happy that McQuarrie finally has that career fire burning that I’ve wanted for him ever since I saw WAY OF THE GUN. - A pretty slow burn, but yeah.
Can I mention that film enough? - That was only the second time you;ve mentioned it. You mentioned Josey Wales 79 times, though.
And if McQuarrie gets to make a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE film like it looks like, it’ll be one helluva caper flick… hope there’s some genuine flim flam going on. - Just spew out some random words there, Harry. No one reads to the bottom of your reviews anyway.
12 years between his first and second feature and McQuarrie is improving with age! - It is a good way to beat the ol' sophomore sup trend if you take 11 years off between semesters.
Now it gets really interesting. - It already has. Thanks Harry.

For one thing, as KNIGHT & DAY proved (if not a few others as well), the days are over when Tom Cruise's name alone allowed you to open a film very well, and especially if it's a property that's not easily known and understood to the more casual movie going audience.<br>
<br>
I don''t know, maybe it's that the studio has done a poor job marketing this thing, I mean I've never read any of the books (and for the record, I think ONE SHOT is an infinitely better title than the very flat JACK REACHER), but I've watched the spots, and I just don't immediately connect with the material, and get a sense of what it is. There's just something vague and scattered about how this things.

Dec. 6, 2012, 1:20 p.m. CST

by Cobra--Kai

*Ive seen Jack Reacher for a month now.*
Holy crackers someone untie this guy from the padded cell hes locked in and turn off the TV. No one should have to endure JACK REACHER looping over and over. Not even this reviewer with no name.

Who the hell would ever use it for anything?
If I'm proven wrong, and the poster or blu ray quotes Harry Knowles, Ain't it Cool News saying 'Flim Flam!' or some such shenanigans, it would be a defeat for cinema and the English language.

I am just wondering if reading Harry's reviews are as frightening to them as biological warfare is to most of the populace? Do they think his atrocious writing style is contagious and then they would have to find another way to earn a living if they somehow caught it from their computers and they began spouting this drivel from their keyboards, as well ?. I sometimes feel progessively more illiterate with each passing sentence--or lack thereof--that Harry writes.

The person who wrote this dreck does not love english,grammar,punctuation or even cinema. This is horrible. Harry called this site ain't it cool only in regards to the free crap he's sent. It's clear that the talkbackers respect cinema more than this pasty, spoiled brat ever did. Awful.

Harry (and it can only have been you who wrote this), I have to assume that you meant to say 'I saw JACK REACHER about a month ago.' The sentence as written now makes it sound like you have been dating some guy named Jack Reacher for about a month.
How anyone ever takes you and your reviews seriously is beyond my capacity for rational thought.

...that Harry failed every English course he ever took. His complete and apparent lack of revisions and actual coherence is absolutely absurd. I applaud the man for his enthusiasm, but his writing has never improved. Ever. In fact, it may have gotten worse over the years. Add the fact that he's now blatantly censoring his contributors, and this site is really going downhill faster than Clark Griswold on a greased up sled.

I came back hoping someone would put a name on this magnificent review and its irreplaceable prose. Nope.
That's it then, I officially join the haters today, this site has turned to shit.
I am seeing Django Unchained Monday, there is no way in hell I am submitting a review to this collection of dolts. Nordling, good luck to you man, you deserve better than this place.
See you on Dark Horizons. Peace, out.

I'm sorry, but I just re-read the review and it pisses me off more and more each time I scan through it. What a fucking joke.
Again, Harry, I appreciate your enthusiasm for film, but for the love of god, leave the writing to people who actually understand what a coherent thought looks like.

And yes, it's hard to reconcile what gets published here. These days, it's even harder to reconcile what gets unpublished. It's as though Harry is censoring those who are trying to help him and this site out of arrested development.

What the fuck was that? Surely this review was written in an obscure language and translated to English and back again a few times online. Either that or the "writer" was on drugs at the time. No sober native English speaker was involved in this creation.

Babelfish, anyone? Eh? Remember Babelfish?
Oh, fuck you guys.
Seriously, though. This is just the worst. I love McQuarrie, and as crazy as Cruise is, he's still a fantastic actor, but this review completely turns me off of this film just because of how awful it is. You'd think Harry is an ESL student struggling to earn a C-.

Imagine being one of his coworkers and having to decipher that shit day in and day out? Fuck man. Someone would take Harry's boxed lunch into the bathroom with them, gently wipe their ass with one slice of bread from his peanut butter, bacon and pastrami sandwhich, and return it to the fridge just for some payback. And Keyser, thanks for the answer and good luck in your writing.

...and I was just a kid and thinking how much better they'd have been had they had a short guy - no one KNEW he was SHORT - but he EMBODIED ... every member all at ONCE.
Well, you can imagine ME as a KID thinking - whoa ... what a thought! And so when I have seen Jack Reacher for a month now - that is how I have been feeling ... ever since.
One of the great things about JACK REACHER is that he is just ... totally ... like, a - BADASS. Yeah, sure, Tom Cruise has had his ups and downs, but I met him once ... you don't want to hear the story, but trust me, I'll e-mail it to you ... IF YOU WANT. Anyway, he gives off this lethal vibe that says you DON'T wanna mess with THIS guy - like ... at all.
Anyway, getting back to my childhood, I loved TOOTSIE ROLLS - they were fucking outstanding, they gave me more pleasure than a vampire mouth that - REALLY ... looks like a VAGINA.
And that's how I earned a restraining order from MR. FUCKING T."

And guys? You're complaining NOW about Harry's review, after the abomination that was BLADE 2? Is there anyone here that has been in the TBs long enough to remember "that" one?
Oh, you don't?! Well, here you go!:
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/11793
Look... we all know the score. In fact, a lot of us (me) come here FOR the massive CHiPs patrol accident. That's just about the only thing that makes this site interesting anymore.
So Harry? Keep doing what you're doing. Please keep giving Dedrek a reason for living.. hell, start paying the guy, for he shows just as much dedication to us, the people... the fans... as anyone else who operates Ain't I Cool.
Now back to the regularly scheduled program.

I came here back in the 90s because it was pretty much the only film site that was getting good info. It was pretty much the only film site, actually.<P>
Harry's direction here has always been kind of slipshod but it was part of the charm, back when the site was breaking stories all over the place and pissing all over The Man. Producers were scared of this site.<P>
The talkbacks were what kept people coming back, though. Demon Dave and CHAOS, the time Moriarty called bullshit when Bruce Willis was on here, Harry's NOTLD 30 review... the talkbacks have always been quite trollish, but they were very funny, too. Now we seem like we're kind of humourless about ripping into everything. But shit like this review will bring back some mojo to the talkbacks, i'm laughing already at some of the posts.
He's obviously done with the site, even if he's the only one who knows it. But even through all the laziness, pwesents and inexplicable 'giggling', even the inexplicable banhammer epidemics and the insane gullibility when within fifty miles of a fake script, I still feel thankful cause it was a great site at one point and home for a while to some of the funniest motherfuckers out there and it makes me smile just to think of it.

Hi Folk, HARRY HERE,
let’s hop right into two shits about this film? efficient & precise . Jack Reacher philosophy is a bit more like John Rambo… except a whole lot morealmost instantaneous. Jack Reacher has that kind of accelerattion. He IS Jack ReaCHER !
I’ve seen Cruise’s JACK REACHER feature film directed by Christopher McQuarrie. The JACK REACHER is an old school man with internally created AWESOME . but he’s kinda like capture the “guy” – he’s disenfranchised REACHER.
OH and Robert Duvall is totally in Chief Dan for about a month now.
you have to want to know, what’s better? Herzog’s fucking presence – because WERNER HERZOG is one of scariest men . Duh.
God bless McQuarrie is improving with age! You get the idea… trouble finds him… He keeps doing really wonderful genuine film working flim flam going on one helluva caper flick….
Faithfully Submitted,
Beaks's boss.

"Hi folks - HARRY ... here
There are a lot of people who have a hard time believing TOM CRUISE could play JACK REACHER ... they just - CAN'T. He's not big enough, they say, and he doesn't have the same kind of - POWER.
Well - let me tell you, you're WRONG. Size, it doesn't matter. Just ask Yoko, who insists that despite having to dig through pounds of flesh to find - well - IT.
JACK REACHER, in this movie, is like a FULLY ERECT PENIS. Sure, he maybe is not the biggest out there, but he's hard. And when he smacks you in the middle of the forehead, he'll leave just as big of a mark! You'll be left dizzy thanks to that WHOMP! - of the head just blasting you in the face, leaving a BIG and PURPLE bruise in the shape of a mushroom!
And let me tell you right now, there's no one in Hollywood who could have pulled, the same way that Tom Cruise, when he starts getting LETHAL and acting like a WALKING PENIS ... well, you'll know.
JACK REACHER will totally cockslap you and you'll be thankful. It's just that ...
I need my meds."

He would ingest freshly-plucked public hairs with every sandwich, urine with every cup of coffee, and ridicule with every conversation. It would be relentless and remorseless...like JACK REACHER...
But not quite Josey Wales.

Harry is taking the piss out of us all. His writing has got worse and from this last review it's pretty obvious he's forcing it. It's deliberate. Look at the Ain't it Cool show and the boiler, he's fed up at talk backers giving him shit for the state of the site, and now plainly doesn't give a fuck about addressing it anymore because he's fucked off with the whole thing and is now frankly just fucking with us to see everyone vent their spleen yet again, without realizing he's taking the piss out of us.
He has become George Lucas. He hates that which he created, and the fans of it.

I often find myself writing more poorly bc I've read his drivel far too often. I even find myself using the same made-up words he spews in his reviews. I hate it. I hate it. I *hate* it.
Reading stupid makes you stupid.

....the time required for everyone to simply give up on AICN won't be an issue. From Harry's constant mentions of money troubles for the site, and the massive downhill slide in that the site is compared to what it used to be, the lower quality of contributors and now the fact that is pretty obvious Harry is now parodying what the talk backers usually complain about, I have a feeling before too much longer he's just gonna pull the plug and move off to his other interests. One day not too far off people will click their AICN bookmark and all of a sudden it'll be a dead link. That's what I'm envisioning at this point. Harry quite obviously is pissed off with the whole thing and everyone posting here because that was the most blatant fuck you parody of everyone's complaints since the frigging boiler.

...the movie is actually good? Ive read all the books, hated the casting as much as anyone but I am still willing to be impressed with the thing.
Apart from hating on the poorly written review,has anyone here actually seen it?

Been lurking for a while now, but the sheer brilliance of Cellarrat's line-by-line commentary and the rest of this TB's zingers made me feel obligated to say thank you for giving me several sorely-needed laughs.
This review is surely Harry's "Plan 9" moment, and I mean that in both the worst and best possible ways.

I used to come here for news and rumors about upcoming films. Now I get my news from Dark Horizons, my rumors from Moviehole, and I come here for the trainwreck (i.e. this review, and people pounding their fists in defense of their personal theory on who Cumberbatch is playing in Star Trek). I miss the old AICN, when there was actual news, and the most prolific posters began their posts with IMHO.
Side note: I don't think people are being cruel to Harry. Most of the negative posts I've seen have been slamming Harry's lack of effort, not his talent.

... he said, and I quote- "which ever one's making the most money". FACT!!!
though really, just want to write anything here to be a part of history- the day the Talk Backers Rose!
have so enjoyed reading this.

and what brought me here some 13 + years ago was that the site used to post actual scoops. there was some serious insider knowledge being dropped on this website and it felt cool to be a part of that.
Now, I don't know what has happened. Its a review to a movie that doesn't really need a review on this website. Or its a review that doesn't make any goddamn sense. Or its a bit of news that broke 2 days ago on another site.
I liked the idea behind Harry's videos. But I'll be honest, I couldn't watch one in its entirety. My point is that this site needs new ideas and some serious editing.
And some serious design overhaul.

I had no idea that Cumpston was the creation of a legit hollywood "somebody." That just makes the whole thing even more awesome!
Sadly, I don't think Patton Oswalt might be a little too busy to do Harry's writing for him. :(

It's where Harry's pain pill addiction takes a turn for the worst, and several months later after Harry has past away, Mary Hart will be reading excerpts of this incomprehensible review on Entertainment Tonight as the hosts of that show try to piece together where Harry's life went wrong before discussing Snooki's baby and Lindsay Lohan's latest nude phots.

But having attended the World Premiere of BLADE 2 last night, one inescapable thought crossed my mind during the movie. 10 to 1…. I believe Guillermo Del Toro eats pussy better than any man alive.
Watch his ‘HOUSE OF PAIN’ sequence in BLADE 2. BLADE 2 is the tongue, mouth, fingers and lips of a lover. The Audience is the clit. Watch your audience. This is where Guillermo Del Toro goes down on the audience. It starts with long licks with a nose bump on the joy button slowly. He smiles as he does this… Watching the audience begin to squirm, then he takes the audiences’ clit in his mouth and just licks it like crazy, the audience is ready, on that precipice, then calm. He backs off… long licks again, brings in a finger to massage a bit, licks from the bottom to the top… The audience is cooing… He has them, they want release. He acts like he’s going to give it to you, takes you right to the edge, the audiences’ backs arched, ready to cum…. Backs off pinching the nipples just so, his head bobbing up to say, "You like?" The audience shifts around needing release, he builds again… The pressure at a near boiling point… Each stroke and moment a hypersensitive place… Two fingers to the sweet spot, the audience is there… right there at that point… suddenly he’s relentless taking the audience through a rampage of orgasms… trying to get away, trying to escape… back back back, but he has you, and he’s never going to let you forget this moment, the audience was electric… Frenetically frothing… Guillermo hears them begging no more, when he decides to stop for a moment, there is that relaxed calm… The audience relaxes… labored breathing… a sated smile, WHEN SUDDENLY THE RELENTLESS BASTARD IS AT IT AGAIN!!!! You begin laughing, trying to push him away, but no… more pleasure, more joy, more fun… You can’t handle it, you start giggling and screaming… And it goes like this for quite some time, till at the end… The credits roll, the theater lights come up… You look at the screen, you realize you want that tongue again… You want that feeling again, and you watch it again and again, because damn he respects the clit!

This talkback compelled me to create an account tonight after having followed the site for over a decade. I simply needed to be a part of this. Well done, everyone. Thanks for providing us all with an early Christmas gift.

He could fuck anyone of your mothers and has made more money in the last year than most of you have combined. KEEP HATING DOUCHEBAG TALKBACKERS!!!! Your misery and hatred of film is what I jerk off to.

"flames gotta eat" for the BRINGING A KURT RUSSELL TO A TALKBACK FIGHT award
"barnald" for the MAKING A REVIEW EASIER TO UNDERSTAND BY MAKING IT MORE RETARDED award
"alienfanatic" for the DEATH BY EXTREMELY COMPLICATED MEANS ANALOGY award
"keysersoze" for the KEEPING THE BLADE 2 REVIEW ALIVE! award AND the EVERYTHING SOUNDS BETTER IN CHRISTOPHER WALKEN'S VOICE award
and lastly
"hint_of_smegma" for the GIVING HARRY TOO MUCH CREDIT award.

So many hilarious memes have been generated from this, and they will slowly spread through the site like tiny wildfires...until all of AICN goes up in one giant conflagration of snarkiness.
I for one am looking forward to witnessing this.

is that assuming Harry posted this in its raw, unedited form, this is stream-of-consciousness writing right here.
This is his mind at its purest and most unfiltered, and that... well, it speaks for itself.
And if Harry *did* edit this, I'd love to know where I can apply for a copy-editing position. I could use the extra income.

Does my sarcasm come across? One can only hope. I cannot believe that all of you are jumping like lemmings off the cliff he's set in front of you. Remember the boiler? The very obvious lack of interest in improving the site..? It's pretty obvious Harry doesn't give a fuck about AICN anymore. He's been getting shit from talk backers for a long time. He's obviously fucked off with it or else the boiler wouldn't have made the cut for the videos. And now he launches a review that's worse than anything else he's written, by a large factor, and that's quite obviously playing up every single talkbacker complaint?
He's laughing his ass off reading this talkback. I really don't think AICN is gonna be online much longer. I'm betting when he does pull the plug he'll be doing it at least partly because of the shit he has gotten from everyone, let alone the financial worries and the general slide in quality here that he doesn't seem interested in slowing.

(forgive me if this has been suggested already, too many posts here to go through in their entirety)
...Harry was stoned to the bejesus on pain meds and put this shit out there thinking it was solid gold...
Rehab, indeed...

Meticulous. Exacting. Thorough. Uncompromising. Harry seems to be none of these things. He's more an Ed Wood, in my opinion, in that he's enthusiastic and obsessed, but almost wholly inept at his chosen medium (in this case, writing). I smile at Harry's writings mainly because I know his heart's in the right place even though I think he's got a vulgar, hyper-sexualized view of everything.
The only thing I strongly dislike about Harry is how he threw Kidd under the bus. While I find Kidd's movie reviews pretty hostile, he does an awful lot to keep this site running and he's a HELL of a lot more professional than Harry. Harry had no reason to comment about why Kidd's story was removed. As a professional all he needed to was unpublish it and say nothing.
Ah well.

I did, however, read your masterful deconstruction and even then the Von Stroheim reference whizzed by like a frisbee over an arthritic dachsund.
I'm afraid trying to read Harry's bruised prose is like trying to read James Joyce's Ulysses backwards while stoned, drunk, with one eye closed and the other painfully swollen from a sucker punch by Honey Boo Boo's momma.
I once tried to read one of Harry's stories, but I lost total bowel control, had a mild stroke, and couldn't remember my own name for a week.

Great guy! Very smart and funny. Watched all of his films and had discussions with him afterwards. "Fitzcarraldo" and "Aguirre The Wrath of God" were of particular interest, of course. If I could have told him back then that he would be playing a villain in a Tom Cruise movie 15 years in the future, I'm sure he would've called me a "loon-a-tic!"

I know you are taking the liquid form.
Pleeeaase, and then review Inception.
Painkillers are a hell of a drug.
Again, not judging, they make you feel good:)
But, ya can't write good reviews on them,
especially, when you can't write reviews in the
first place.

Harry explained in the talkbacks "I unpublished it, as his write-up didn't provide the context that I felt the story needed."
I didn't read the original article, but a couple of people who did said The Kid wrote a negative article about the casting choice.

Seriously, I know people who's second language is English and they write better than Harry the Idiot.
Good job this oaf lucked in by being in the right place at the right time to create this website because I honestly cannot imagine what proper job he would have done for a living.
So I'm putting that one out there for discussion. What job do you feel Harry would have ended up doing were it not for AICN? Don't forget, he has no apparent qualifications or skills and a very, very limited understanding of how the real world operates.

You know, putting aside the occasional homophobia and racist overtones that seep into these talkbacks from time to time, I usually get a good laugh from some of the comments and this talkback had some good ones. "Harry's real review of the Dark Knight Rises" by harrysblackwoman made me cry, I was laughing so hard. Well done.

...what that means is that Harry's getting a bunch of free swag and/or payola shoved his way from Sony and the Kid's negative reaction to the casting could cost him said swag.payola.
We all know this, right?

In SPIRIT it reads like a press release, in that it is all positive, but read the review closely (if you can accomplish the gargantuan task of ignoring the inconsistencies in both internal and external logic, grammar, spelling, word choice, and narrative flow); the review, like many of Harry's, does not really review the movie. It reviews the plot, and discusses in detail what Harry (rightly, but not particularly insightfully) is able to ascertain by reading in between the lines. He delves into the the characteristics of Jack reacher's character, both implicit and explicit. He is delighted by the implications that Reacher is a questionable soul morally but whose actions are always for good. He marvels at plot threads that seem to magically, or masterfully (to him) reconcile and he is entranced by the intertwining nature of the plots, twists, and McGuffins (or, in his parlance, *things occuring*). In short, he is appreciative of this movie, thought not WRONGLY, but on a very superficial level that should be accepted as the craft of a decent screenwriter as interpreted by a competent filmmaker.
Again, I am making no digs at the movie, just harry's review.
This has been his style for a while. Harry really doesn't understand the visual craft, for someone in his self-procalaimed role as Headgeek. He does have an appreciation for a good yarn, as it were, and if you go back over any/all of his positive reviews, you will find he is unable to see a movie beyond characterization and plot.
In essence, a review from him is like someone giving the book Hound of the Baskervilles a rave review, on the basis that Sherlock Holmes is an awesome detective, ignoring the prose style of the author or any sociological undercurrents. Read the review again, skipping the direct references to the fact that this is a movie, and it comes across as a book review.
Again, not a bad thing, but to get back to your original report, if Paramount paid for this, someone in accounting is trying to write this one off the books as we speak (er...type).

...I watched much of the filming as it went on here in Pittsburgh (and am "in" a couple scenes. The part in the trailer where he hops out of the moving car and blends in with the crowd? The top of my head is there in the back).
I will tell you this:
Cruise is short. He's NOT Jack Reacher as described in the books and, frankly, that's okay because Reacher in the books is ridiculous (and, CONVENIENTLY, looks a good bit like the author).
HOWEVER...
...the fight scenes are BRUTAL. Depending upon how they cut them, they may appear even moreso. Car chases are the same (watching a car chase being filmed is actually pretty boring. You couldn't think it but it's all in the editing).
I'm willing to give it a chance.
Procede with the cries of "plant" now...

As awful and poorly written Harry's article was (and by God it was bad) I sometimes think the vitriol leveled against him is a tad too overboard, but that isn't to say he should be free from criticism.
I've been coming to this site since about 200 but only finally worked my way to participate in the talkbacks about mid this year. Part of that was the concern I'd just get addicted (I was a permanant resident of Yahoo chat room Movies .1 for a good 4-5 years a looong time ago) and thought I'd get dragged into one childish fucking argument after another.
Over the last year or so...the site's news and reviews have been getting worse in quality but no one who thinks the site will die or are hoping it will die...mean that, seriously, who wants AICN to go the way of the dodo?
Having said all of this...the stuff on here has been some of the FUNNIEST shit I've ever seen in the site's history. It isn't really tat much hyperbole for others here to call this BEST TALKBACK EVER. Shit man, one of my first actions in the morning is to get the Blackberry and see what's new on AICN. Since the morning, well this must be the 4th or 5th time i've been back to read this board.
So here's my MAIN point I want to make. For ALLLL of the degeneration into warring, infighting and borderline offensive fecal matter we have all been throwing at each other all these years...today has been the MOST peaceful the boards have ever been. In a very ironic way, Harry's ineptitude has brought us geeks together because you read through it all and i do not see ONE snipe against another geek. It's all mutual back patting and a healthy competition to come up with a funnier comment than the one before.
This is the shit that can make Mandela shed a tear.
Will it last? Probably not...but today...we all appreciated and supported each other...to mock the fuck out of the site's founder, but also in the name of acceptable writing standards, movie journalism and...comedy.
I have enjoyed today, I really have.

Correct I'm sure. Knowles has been on the Sony bandwagon for several years now. Remember how every reviwer on this site just adored The Green Hornet, especially Harry? Not one of them had anything remotely negative to say about that movie.
This site is a joke nowadays.

Quite correct, and very astute of you in terms of pointing out that Harry is entirely about plot points and character. I find most movie geeks and geeks in general work this way. As long as the plot points are cool, as it were, then the movie itself is a masterpiece. The less cool the plot points are, the more the movie sucks for them.
If you go back and check out his review of SUPER 8, this is painfully apparent. Harry was challenged in that review to address issues of film craft, like lighting and set design and cinematography and script craft.
How did Harry address this issue? He mentioned the challenge at the beginning and then proceeded to say -No, I don't want to do that- and then went on his usual way with the review, praising plot points just as you've pointed out, to the degree that if you put your statement next to that SUPER 8 review you've got a reviewer basically saying that everything you're claiming is 100 percent accurate, to a T.
I'm not so much dismissive of Harry - I think his voice got a lot of people in Hollywood to where they are now, believe it or not, excepting Harry himself. Hollywood insiders listened to him and figured out how to make the right bells and whistles in the early days of internet buzz to give him the gifts and leads he wanted to get the word out in support of weird and obscure films that might otherwise not have gotten made in the first place. I give Harry a tremendous amount of credit for this, possibly more than I should since I don't know the facts 100 percent, but I do believe that his contribution has led to new cycles of film structure where you've got, for instance, nobody wanting to do another MORTAL KOMBAT until a group put together demo reels which led in turn to a minimovie which are leading in turn to a new film. Regardless of what you think of MORTAL KOMBAT, that structure itself I don't think would exist without Harry having paved that path through his website and the geek culture that blossomed out of it.
At the same time, I believe the man is not capable, as you've pointed out, of seeing the movie beyond the plot and the characterization.
If you read his review of DARK KNIGHT RISES, it becomes very clear. Regardless of what you think of the film, Harry's review is based entirely on a disagreement about character. He doesn't think the character actions fit the characters as he knows them, so the movie is bad. He points out he likes some of the big moments in the film, but that's a plot point - the action happening on-screen, the events themselves. Wow, cool, etc.
But even some of Harry's most embarrassing reviews, like DETROIT ROCK CITY or GODZILLA (Roland Emmerich version), can be explained with your points.
No matter what you think of the film, performances, humor, craft etc. of DETROIT ROCK CITY, the film's enthusiastic love of the 1970s and the broad plot point of a group of KISS fans dealing with all kinds of disasters trying to get to a rock concert - purely as plot beats ... well, on paper, if someone were telling you the story of how they had all the disasters befall them that happen to the DRC characters, well, that's hysterical. If you and your best friend had a couple of beers and sat back and talked about what happened to you and your high school buddies trying to get to a KISS concert, well, both of you would be laughing hysterically if you just described the events themselves that happen in DRC in a conversational way - the plot beats. It's the EXECUTION where the film fails, but Harry can't really see that execution. He's in love with the idea the way someone would be in love with the plot points if they were told the way I've described above, and enamored of the character of KISS in general. So, the movie gets a rave.
Likewise, if you sat down and basically hashed out the plot of the Emmerich GODZILLA, and talked about GINO stomping through the city and being missiled-to-death on a bridge at the end, well, INSANE - and a chase scene through the underground of New York against a horde of mini-monsters, CRAZY. Great review follows, of course. Then, you contrast that with the reality of the film sucking, because of its incredibly poor execution, and Harry's review is once again blind to that, simply pointing out the plot beats with a lot of WOW.
BLADE 2, same thing.
EVERY review, same thing.
Your observations are VERY astute about Harry, and what will be interesting is to see if these comments and/or yours get banned, and if not - to judge further reviews from Harry on these points. Now that the curtain has been pulled away, will Harry try to address the broader scope of film craft he constantly ignores? My guess is that he will instead double-down on the plot beat and characterizational elements he can see, because doing anything else would require labor beyond holding a Wiimote.

I've seen jack reacher for about a month now. Things occur between the shadows.
You get the idea!
He moves forward, always forward. God bless him! I adore him!
It's SO AWESOME! and i can't get enough.
Dirty bastard!!!!

...Harry ISN'T a movie critic.
Nobody on this site is.
None of them are "qualified" in any way other than "I watch movies". They are no more or less "reviewers" than any of US are. They just have a website that publishes their stuff.
Any of us could be a Harry Knowles if we were raised by genre-loving nerd parents and an extra five thousand bucks. Harry lucked out in timing. This site was one of the first of its kind and good on him for that but none of you should ever think that any "reviewer" on this site is anything more than a big-mouthed internet know-it-all. The only difference is: they have an arena in which to air their yammerings.
You can agree with them or disagree with them all you want. Some of you find insane amounts of pleasure in being contrary to anything and everything. That's fine. Sad and pathetic, but fine. Keep on keepin' on.

I used to think better of you. Sure, you're not the best at writing reviews, but they're enjoyable because of their childlike exuberance, like an overgrown 5-year-old explaining a movie. For a while I tolerated it, simply because this site had a good reputation for delivering film news, no matter how slow. I joined the site about a year ago, back when you were circlejerking over John Carter.
This review, though, has made me lose what little respect I had for you. There wasn't much to begin with, of course, but you catch my drift. What the hell were you thinking? It's obvious that you're either suffering from a severe case of Writer's Block or you're so bumfuck retarded that you don't even look at the review after you've written it.
I understand that what I'm saying here has already been said before in this TB, and in much funnier ways, but...Seriously. I suggest you look over the review a few times, then look at the Talkback, then look at your life.

Truly a great thread, and thanks again to everyone who's worked to make it so.
This does make me wonder, though, how much power Harry's word still has in Hollywood/marketing circles. I stopped taking him seriously after his "Inception" review, and his take on "Tron: Legacy" only cemented that feeling. But assuming Paramount did pay for this (which might explain why it showed up on their website-- no doubt the head of whoever signed off on that is currently rolling into a gutter somewhere), I have to think this might be the last time that happens.
If I'm wrong, feel free to call me out on it. I just can't imagine an exec with a stake in the financial performance of a movie trusting Harry to give it any kind of boost... or that the boost would even matter.

Isn't there anybody at the site following this?
By the way, WOW, I had never read the Blade 2 review till now. It is truly sublime, filthy hyperbole; it made me laugh out loud and shudder with disgust simultaneously.

...that says "I’ve seen JACK REACHER for about a month now." -AICN, and wear it to every press screening here in Austin.
Maybe Harry will actually read the content he posts on the site before he posts it.

Seriously, I've seen better writing in the high-security East Wing of a mental institution, except it was smeared in shit on a bed sheet.
It's the sort of thing people who wear tin foil hats and rub raspberry jam on themselves write.
They didn't sign the review because they were keen to start that DIY tattoo on their left arm which reads 'GOD IS IN MY COCK'

What's that boy Sharpie McQ up to these days?
Last I heard, Sharpie was writing that movie starring Tom Cruise as an NBA star. Duke Dunker was the title if my mind isn't playing tricks on me.
No no no asshole, Sharpie McQ is making a different Tom Cruise film. The one about that Investigatind Detective that solved all those clown murders in San Fransisco.
Wasn't the investigatind a black dude in real life?
Yeah, but Tom Cruise played Jack Reacher for fuck's sake... he can surely play a black dude.

"Things occur, Reacher begins helping the Defense after checking out the evidence. He smells a frame. Rosamund suffers a bit in the film from that Sondra Locke in JOSEY WALES syndrome. When you have Josey Wales in a movie, do you really crave anything else? She isn’t bad… she’s just doesn’t have THE part, ya know? Between Cruise and… WERNER HERZOG!"

I am honored as are the rest of my colleagues who won.
And talkbackers, is Blade 2 any good? I've only seen 5 mins of it and turned it off. At that time though I didn't know who Del Toro was or that he did it.
Harry's review of that is surreal as well, who the fuck would ever write something like that? Now THAT looks like a Cumpston review.

Holy f*ck! Harry's a sexual spillway. When enough filth backs up behind the dam, the overabundance of twisted thought comes splashing out onto the heads of the startled AICN visitors who scatter away, swatting at their filthy clothes and mumbling prayers for redemption.
I used to think that I refused to read Harry's reviews because they were nigh unreadable. In retrospect, it seems an unconscious act of self-preservation.

Always struck me as a sad attempt at someone trying to sound provocative or knowledgeable about a subject that they only have a shallow understanding of, or something that they only read about--never done. It was almost like Harry was jerking off in his bathroom to a Penthouse Letters issue before he wrote the Blade II review and just carried it over into his writing. As he was writing it, he was probably thinking "this will cause a stir in the Madonna Like a Prayer video type way. I will be a trailblazer. Plus, people will know I am not a 32 year old virgin."

There's a line in it that says, "I've been seeing Lisa now for a little over a year..."
Every time somebody writes "I've seen Jack Reacher for about a month now," I hear it in my head as if it was being sung by the guy who sang "I believe."
I'm not sure if that's awesome or disturbing. Maybe both.

*Having seen the amazingwow that is PACIFic RIm, all I can say is Guillermo Del Toro must have the biggest cock on the block - because his Kaiju are so big that... even Paul Bunyan feels inadequate.*
*Just watch Pacific Rim... the Kaiju are apocalyptic mega-cocks of destruction, splashing and smashing their fuck fury upon the land. Skyscrapers are mere pubic hairs in the wake of these beasts.*
*After Pacific Rim, all other kaiju need viagra.*

I've been coming here since 1997. That's 15 years. I LOVED this site in the beginning but Harry's desire to be important in Hollywood has diminshed every aspect of this site, to the point where he even "unpublishes" articles by contributors who are actually putting in the effort. We get no spoilers, anymore. We get Harry pimping out projects that are best case ass-kissing attempts and worst case, "paid advertisements". There was a point in the early 00s where Harry was getting some clout(-ish) in Hollywood, and Harry has a HUGE amount of residual arrogance now, to the point where it's clear he feels ANY effort by him should be good enough.

"blow of mercy" means a death blow intended to end the suffering of a wounded creature.[2] The phrase can refer to the killing of civilians or soldiers, friends or enemies, with or without the consent of the sufferer. It is often used figuratively to describe the last in a series of events which brings about the end of some entity.
from Wikipedia

Where are all the references to his family? "Jack Reacher beats the shit out of people like how I beat the shit out of my nephew for stealing my painkillers", or "Rosamund Pike's defense lawyer reminds me of Yoko's itunes collection. They both wear suits and speak to judges".

Dear Diary Harry here, I've seen Jack Reacher for about a month now and I still can't initiate a scenario were I can rub up against his ass without him getting mad at me. Maybe I should just start wrestling and goofing around with him Diary...that way I can feel his ass and bulge in one fail swoop. Like it looks like he likes to wrestle so that might be my best bet.
Dec. 7: Dear Diary Harry here I was questioned for 3 hours by two homicide detectives earlier today. They told me I was the prime suspect in the murder of the English Language. They let me go cause most of their evidence was hearsay so after I finish this entry Diary I'm gonna take my name off of all the reviews and articles I wrote for my website.

Size-wise perhaps, but I don't think so overall. I'm not a HUGE fan like those that Harry refers to, I've only read a couple of the books, but the Rock seems more suited to action with a side of comedy while Reacher strikes me as dead serious pretty much 100% of the time.

Was it a good thing to bring up the BLADE 2 review, after so many wounds were starting to heal over such a long... "period"... of time?
Maybe. Some wounds just need to be reopened so those who missed the chance can stick their fingers in the wound too.
Maybe the BLADE 2 review should be a pay-per-view site? Holy shitbells, that may be how AICN can generate the revenue needed to keep the ole' bowling alley/ school/ skating rink/ hang out from being shut down! Hell, it's worked plenty of times before (in movies)!
_________________
To those who thanked me for the invisible internet awards: You're Welcome! Congratulations on your invisible victories!
To Hint_of_Smegma, who is taking all of this WAAY too seriously: chill out and relax, guy! It's just the internet!
To Harry: even in spite of all of this, most of us still love you (in a platonic and non BLADE 2 sort of way), whether it is in spite of your reviews and general lack of adult behavior, or even because of it.
Regardless, we here at the AICN talkback association will strive to NEVER let anyone around the world become:
- bored
- suicidal
- successful
- apathetic
To or in the entertainment world around them. We WILL strive to always hit an accidental key or tooow when wrting in a forum without editing tools, to prove that WE are indeed... Hunan. We WILL strive to NEVER let anyone down (softly) and we will NEVER EVER give up.
On these talkbacks.
Or on you, Harry.
So keep on watching JACK REACHER.
and let us know how it is in another month.

On that note of apocalyptic mega-cocks of destruction, I hereby propose not just simply a mere T-shirt that says "I’ve seen JACK REACHER for about a month now.", but something much, much greater.
Oh no. I say that someone who actually has the money (and the time) should write down and record (for posterity) ALL of the witty one-or-ten liners that have ever been in these thy hallowed talkbacks and create a T-shirt with ALL of them forming the word AICN on the back... you know, kinda like those Darth Vader or Elvis photos that are made of hundreds of teeny, tiny photos from moments of their lives.
Or just have every square inch of the shirt covered in quotes from the Talkbacks. Whatever.

It looks like bad photoshop, except I think that's really Cruise's body proportions. I can't watch that guy without laughing. Which is great for a comedy, but totally ruins any serious movie. That poster will live in infamy.

I want the t-shirt, too, by the way.
You know, Harry's reviews are consistently mindless--they used to be more vulgar and desperate, and they've become more incoherent and random, but they've pretty much always sucked (poorly edited, hyperbolic). But I think this one review is getting such a strong reaction for one main reason: that FIRST line is so flagrantly stupid.
Reading that line, I did literally imagine the movie on repeat, for 30 straight days, like how old VHS tapes would automatically rewind themselves and then play again.
Look, we all make mistakes. No review is perfect. But this guy, he's raping the English language. This is someone for whom words have lost virtually all meaning. He MUST know it, somehow, vaguely. Can he really be that drug addled these days?

These reviews would become clear warning signs of a deranged mind. It would all seem so obvious and predictable, after the fact. I'm enjoying this talkback immensely, but seriously, this guy ain't right.

So therefore, you're going to have half the numbers in your audience...meaning that cinemas will basically HAVE TO have Jack Reacher playing double the average time of it's run in order to start getting the serious profits.
Shit, Jack Reacher may even have to be a permanent screening in cinemas, like they do with Blues Bros or Rocky Horror at art houses.
It isn't bad enough that massive cinema chains and independent ones alike have had to invest in new technology (i presume...i don't know much about the cinema business) such as 3D. Now they have to think about Jack Reacher's huge fans.
And what does this mean for us more, leaner, healthier film geeks that may want to see the movie? Where do we fit in amongst all this? And who is the quintessential huge fan here anyway? None other than Harry? Conspiracy?

I looked for it, found it, and read it. I then began looking for the real one and couldn't find another one. I am floored that the one I found is THE real one. Please, let me in on the joke. I can't believe that's what Harry published.

Shit, I remember that movie now.
Terrible.
And it says here that he also wrote Valkyrie.
Awful.
The odds of Jack Reacher being halfway decent?
I'd say not so good.
So I suppose for future reference I will be avoiding movies made by Christopher McQuarrie. Good to know.
Oh shit, he's writing The Wolverine?
GodDAMMIT!

I really came away from the audio commentary(I listened really just to hear Benicio stories, the man's a genius) wanting to see Chris get another shot. He seemed to have a great understanding of what he did wrong, and was really honest about it all. It's a great commentary by a first time director, if you're a filmmaking geek you should give it a listen.

that I will never be able to go down on a girl again without giggling over that review. And of course then having to come up and explain to the girl why it is that I am giggling. My first attempt to explain did not go well.

Cause he didnt go into a long intro about his childhood/dad/wife/growing up in Austin/how many tacos he had for dinner/how he wishes he were more of a man.....
and then proceed to ejaculate all of this film...
**which looks bad ass btw**

and am used to Harry's piss poor writing, but that Blade II review is so amazing, I thought it was a parody of Harry's writing. I couldn't believe it was real. I'm used to him going on about who he knows, his family, his wife that no one cares about, his childhood, and being completely incoherent through it all but that Blade II review was... I can't even find the words for it. I'm still in a state of disbelief.

I stand amongst those who name it as a good film. There are no stand out performances like Heath Ledger, who most people were opposed to because he was the gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain. The film is similar to Batman Begins in terms of quality, but it is still a good film. A film of redemption. A film of struggle against the masses. Full disclosure....I'm drunk right now and watching TDKR....and I'll masturbate later....but this film is good.

I've been coming to this site ever since I'd learned about it back in 2003. Or should I say - "I've been to this site for about 9 years now".
Never have I been compelled to write anything mostly just getting my fix on some "choice" reviews for movies and comics.
Not that there's ever been any Roger Ebert's here, I understand that the Internet has created it's own language and some adults out in the real world even utter LOL instead of laughing, i get it. for the most part I let it pass...
but to call this atrocity a review and then to publish it... That does it for me.
Thanks to some of the talkbackers who have mentioned other sites - I'm gonna be checking those from now on. And completely delete this from my browser. Hire someone to do your work Harry. You're absolutely awful brother.
I used to buy my amazon DVDs/bluerays through your colum just to help the site - that's "a fistful of dollars" you ain't ever getting back
Good luck to those who can stand for this
Ciao

Harry writes like a retarded chimp with a meth problem and expects people to pay $2 for an app filled with his incoherent ramblings? What's worse is people actually PAID for it! Well, maybe they're just purchasing a guaranteed laugh-a-second at some fat slob's sad yet funny attempt at writing. That I can understand.

Also, every time I see a new movie advertised, I ask myself *Now, why should I give two shits about that film?* Thank God reviewers like Harry are our there to help me budget my Shits, so i don;t give them away needlessly.
Seriously, Harry? That was your hook?
Keyser...I just had the awful image of Harry doing that *DINER* trick alone but with a big bowl full of lime Jello cubes, sitting in his wheelchair in the open row in the back of the theater, snoring and drooling.

Ok. I take back all my vitriol for this site.
If this poor excuse for a "writer" gets me to read shit like your line by line review of his non-sensical shaist, then this site is worth some checking out.
FUCKING BRILLIANT MATE!
Haven't laughed this hard in a while.

You're right, Harry! Chief Dan George was awesome in The Outlaw Josey Wales! Very good!
I hope that you're on some serious narcotics, dude. This better be like a dilaudid-fentanyl cocktail with a oxycontin chaser, or you've just made it painfully clear that you have gone completely, profoundly, hopelessly, and tragically insane. Jeeeeeez.

...somebody is going to have to either comment on the review or lock the thread, right? I just want some sort of "official" response to this review - even if it's just to ban all the users, fire all the staff and sell the site to a Laotian mail order bride company. Actually...that's kind of what I'm hoping will happen!

<p>"We're in deep shit. Jack Reacher is on to us."</p><p>"Who is Jack Reacher?"</p><p>"Only the most badass Military Detective ever. He puts even the finest investigatind Detective to shame. When he finds problems, they can't be unfound. Our plans for political corruption are at serious risk."</p><p>"Where is he?"</p>"Over there."</p><p>"Where? Off in the distance? Beyond that dwarf?"</p><p>"No. He IS the dwarf."</p><p>"You're shitting me."</p><p>"I shit you not. He's a force of nature. A whirling dervish of pain and suffering. When he starts spinning and that forehead makes contact with your balls, you'll know pain like you've never imagined. The bridge of that little fucker's nose has seen more gooch sweat than B.J. Raji's jockstrap. I've seen regular-sized men begging their mates to kill them after they've been 'Reachered.' "</p><p>"Goddammit. And goddamn the Greyhound bus system for bringing him surreptitiously to our town."</p>

Thing is, now I won't be able to watch The Outlaw Josey Wales ever again without this review making me crack up.
Ditto the... whatever it was that masqueraded as his Blade 2 review.
Harry's reviews: robbing movies of their pathos like a drunken, rambling thief in the night since '96.

giving myself a day in between each time just to clear my head, and it gets worse every time. This wouldn't pass a fifth grade writing class. It's got every bad piece of writing in it that I tell my 13 year old son to avoid. He really did luck out getting onto the internet at the ground floor.

The AICN talkbacks (particularly this one) is like a bar. A good ole "hole in the wall" bar, where instead of alcohol we have each other's words.
So just sit right back and enjoy.
BTW, is someone going to archive this in case the Mayan Apocalypse wipes out the AICN servers?

Harry doesn't give a shit about this site or the readers. He just wants to bask in his rapidly waning Z list celebrity status and endulge himself in ego massaging exercises like KnowlesWankAThon.
Harry thinks he is special and better than every reader here. The sad fact is that he is actually less interesting than the vast majority of TBs here and probably knows less about movies than most of us, too.
Knowles punches out an illiterate review which he cannot be arsed to spell-check or prooof read, because all he wants to do is get in with Paramount. And I'm willi go bet Jack Reacher t will screen at BNAT because Harry is thatobvious a whore that he will pimp himself out just to get goodies, freebie and pwesents.
Over the years thatI've watched this once brilliant site decline I have oftne suggested Knowles sell up to someone who actually cared. And preferably so eone who didn't have the IQ of a brain-damaged hamster like the current CEO.
I honestly wish someone would give Knowles a slap in the face and tell him to grow the fuck up, to stop hiding behind his made-up back story and all his imagined sexual exploits and his silly Thor hats and Green Lantern rings and become a FUCKING ADULT.
And nobody ever does. People just suck up to Harry. Nothing changes. And Knowles is the reason.
Harry, you are a pathetic and lazy individual who knows little about actual movies and less about actually writing about them. You should be ashamed of yourself.

lure everyone in, like The Red Wedding on Game of Thrones, then ban everyone who slagged him for it lol That is, if my understanding of The Red Wedding is correct, I've been avoiding the books but so many people talk about TRW without a spoiler warning, it's hard to avoid.

A) planning to ignore this forever
Or
B) Thinking up his clarification AKA lie about how this whole thing was a funny joke. Like how he over the top lied/clarified that creepy Blade 2 review by claiming it was a dare that a hot chick that was spending the night with him urged him to do.
Riiiight...

I mean, the guy has to smell like shit right? I mean with his awesome physique and the god given grace by which he rolls around, there's no way he can wash his own ass after defecation. His poor mail order bride probably has to do it for him, poor woman. I might get the ban hammer but I don't care anymore, the only reason to come to this site is to trash the men who flushed it down the toilet, I sure don't come for the DVD column or the reviews that seem like 4th graders wrote them. Peace out my brothers and sisters, keep watching movies and I hope that illegal downloading brings the end of going to theaters to watch movies just like illegal downloading music brought the end of the CD.

I'm on the phone with Hobby Lobby as I type this.
If they find problems, I'll instantaneously go from zero to sixty. There will be an acceleration of violence, kept in check by a rather intense personal code.
That's because I'm an old school man with an internally created way of life.
Now where did I put that Greyhound bus schedule?

This review is a hate crime against the English language. Even if the author had been repeatedly finger diddled by an adverb as a child, it would not provide mitigating circumstances in defence of this egregious assault on grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation and cogent thought.
The only way I could read it without self-harming was to imagine it was Patty Duke during her final breakdown in "Valley Of The Dolls" - "Boobies, boobies, boobies. Nothin' but boobies. Who needs 'em? I’ve seen JACK REACHER for about a month now..."
I've been coming to this site for about ten years now and used to tripping over the grammar roadkill of Harold's DVD reviews but it is this nadir that has prompted me to sign up just to say I was there the day the language died.
You talkbackers are bloody magnificent.

Greyhound buses on fire off the shoulder of I-88. I watched the A-Team boiled into one in the dark near the Tannhäuser Frame. All those moments will be lost in time, like one's sanity after reading this Jack Reacher review.
Time to get fucking drunk.

I saw it too, a few months ago at a Paramount screening and this thing fucking rocks. Unlike most of the trolls on this site, I've read 6 of the bJR ooks (including One Shot) and am working on my 7th so I had my doubts too. But everyone involved worked their asses off to bring this thing together and, sorry cock-suckers, but you'll have to live with the disappointment that the movie 1000 times better than the Star Trek fan-movie you're writing in your pimple-infested head.
-- You're Friend, D.

This review settles it, I'm officially looking into creating a site that would be an alternative to this kind of massive fail. There is literally only one piece of the site that matters above all else (aside from color scheme and preventing clutter, two reasons I fucking HATE Hitfix.)
And for fuck's sake, can anyone here just OWN UP TO IT. I could be wrong, but has Harry EVER talked about his poor grasp of the language? How about his seemingly endless pool of INDIFFERENCE towards his own creation?
This last two or three weeks is, imho, the nadir... the posts getting deleted, the shady answers, the indifference, the app... what a tremendous crock of shit.

This site's been slow to the news and questionable about its sense of what's "cool."
Remember the spoilers on new episodes, for example? Those days seem long gone.
I checked out slash film and dark horizons, so thanks for mentioning alternatives. Any other suggestions are appreciated.
But you know, those sites are almost TOO professional. At AICN, it's like we're all hanging out at a retarded kid's house--an old friend who's gotten more pathetic, when you're not feeling nostalgic--and the house is old, pretty run down, but homey, you know? The red-haired kid increasingly just talks to himself in the corner of the room, giggling randomly, while the rest of us make fun of him and shoot the shit. It could be worse.

http://www.totalfilm.com/reviews/cinema/jack-reacher?ns_campaign=reviews&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_source=totalfilm&ns_linkname=0&ns_fee=0
Glowing. This is going to be a good movie, but I don't think it'll find much box office success.

It flashed for a second, but I believe Harry's name was attached. So your work is done, sir.
It is getting good reviews (mostly from the British press), but I think the title will be it's downfall. Just as the Wall Street Journal said the title John Carter sounded like a movie about an insurance salesman, Jack Reacher sounds like a movie about a '70s porn star.
Which would you rather see?...Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry, or Clint East wood in Harry Callahan? Thought so.

For some reason I can't wait to see this movie now. Is it true, Harry, that he’s kinda like the whole damn A-TEAM boiled into one very lethal Tom Cruise? Is it also true that he keeps things explosive, even if they’re barbs of the verbal side? Paramount, my money is yours. Harry sent me.

In addition to the "stream of consciousness" style of writing (*Faulkner rolls in his grave*), I also recall Harry mentioning how he sometimes uses his iPad to write reviews.
As someone who's tried to type on an iPad many a time, it's easy to write like an idiot on that thing unless you buy a keyboard peripheral for it.
Shit, now I'm becoming a Harry apologist. I just don't want to feel bad anymore.
I would guess, optionally, that Harry was a.) using dictation software, b.) while driving, and c.) about to go eat dinner or something else more important to him than composing a coherent review. /apology

Could Jack reach her?
Investigatind much lately?
NOW it gets interesting? NOW?
Looks like somebody ate all the acid, washed it down with 'shroom tea, then slipped and bashed his head on a computer keyboard. REPEATEDLY.
To those of you who spent the meager $2 for the AICN app? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Good find...I was looking for that as well.
Readin that article you linked to made me notice a fun game to play...go back over the history of the DVD columns and read the intro. A-MAZING-LY a large majority of them open with an apology/excuse from harry about them being late.
after playing that game for a while, go over to The Onion and search for the fake commentaries by Jim Anchower, and read how every article starts.

The man with the rifle drove north. Not fast, not slow. Not drawing attention. Not standing out. He was in a light-colored minivan that had seen better days. He was alone behind the wheel. He was wearing a light-colored raincoat and the kind of shapeless light-colored beanie hat that old guys wear on a golf course when the sun is out or the rain is falling.

Honestly, that was the most incoherent review I've ever read on here. Harry, if you're hopped up on pain meds, don't be writing shit and posting it. I've been on pain meds that made me babble when no one else was nearby, not to mention the occasional hallucination to with it. At the very least, get someone to proof-read your stuff before putting it up. The most I could get out of this review was, that you like The Outlaw Josey Wales, and The Way of the Gun. Other than that, I really have no clue what this movie is about.

I really, really liked your Jack Reacher review. It
Was 100% accurate, and thank you for the Jack
Reacher Action Figure. I will put it on my desk.
Just Kidding, Your a butthole Harry, and you are
High as hell.
Please respond to me, if I'm Wrong or just Ban
me like a pussy.
Either way.

Actually, it's coming up on three months and this time-suck site ain't helping my situation.
Also, since I've been coming here since '01 I want some sort of special designation like 'AICN Super User' like Huffpost has.

....seems like it comes from a book fanboy who can't get past the fact that Cruiste isn't 6'5". Yes, it bugs me too, because Reacher's size is critical to his character, but it's not THE most important aspect.
And even that review isn't all that negative

I remember someone posting a url years back that led to an aicn page that would list the numerical order/place you were when you created your account...out of all the accounts on AICN.
this was how the old-skewlers could compare the length of particularly old teeth compared to the gummy nubs of the n00bs.
that was back in the danny-glovers-dickblood days. maybe even earlier than that. not even all that long ago really.
sigh

I actually believe you guys this time. I believe you when you say Harry did not write this. I checked his other pieces and he never uses a double space after a period. That's a holdover from someone that used to use a typewriter heavily and not the autospacing of a computer.

He talked about the turd in detail, and said something about how it was such a fascinating turd that it was had for him to bring himself to flush it down. I think he made mention of corn kernels being in the turd.
Am I making this up? I can't find the review. It was from years and years ago. I feel like it was written maybe a decade ago. I guess that would have put it in the Blade II era.

Took me a while to get around to reading it, but it was so, SO worth the wait.
It's such a delight, in fact, that I mentioned it to a couple of coworkers so they'd be able to enjoy the smell of burning hair that it invokes.

do you remember how they freaked because he was insulted, for being a dick, and everyone panicked because "he could ruin own opening weekend!" with a bitter review on his website? Looking back on that episode, at the time, that was entirely realistic. Today..........raise your hand if you think Harry could ruin an opening weekend box office with a single review. Anyone? No? I'm hearing crickets...

I haven't been around here in a few years, but holy shit, there is some genuine smartass talent in the t/b's. Some of it is garbage of course, but a surprising amount is clever and biting. I grew up with a bunch of sharp, ball-busting cousins who would cut you down in the most creative ways; has the same vibe here. Maybe a big darker....but I love it. Carry on!

Why don't we all bow our heads down in memory of a once mighty web site that, as Lox4444 pointed out, could actually make or break a movie at one point in time.
I guess we can say that Harry has jumped the Jack Reacher.
Goodnight, sweet AICN.

Someone here either knew the fact or is one prescient bastard. Lee Child was in a market with his wife and they saw a guy stacking items on the highest shelf. He wondered what the title for that job would be and decided "Reacher." Check it, it's gold.

If sensitivity were the producers' concern, they would be pushing back the release date, not the premier.
The premier is attended by what... 300 people... most of whom are cast and crew, and a few media people who are there to watch the celebrities, not the film.
Nobody was paying attention to the Jack Reacher premier anyway. It was in Pittsburgh. I stick to my original comment that the producers are cutting their losses.

The marketing team on this flick isnt doing their job very well because all previews of this have looked bland and uninteresting. The plot for this movie, as outlined by Harry and Moriarty, have made this sound like my favorite kind of flick, an action/mystery/thriller. Here is Moriarty's review for those interested.
http://www.hitfix.com/motion-captured/review-tom-cruise-and-chris-mcquarrie-make-jack-reacher-a-compelling-pulp-hero

A great gritty thriller (not suspense harry!), really solid performance from cruise, mcquarrie has a very gritty directing style, if you've seen the way of the gun you know how he directs, this is slightly toned down for the lower rating, but it's still got loads of punch - the opening scene will test some people though given the recent shooting incident.

Okay
I saw the film yesterday
I'm not going to talk about the quality of the film
It was a good little action film
I'm sure better than Arnold's LAST STAND.
What I want to talk about is this constant drumbeat about how tall reacher is in the books. Firstly, you understand that there is a difference between books and movies?
In a novel you can have a HUGE protagonist, in a movie you can't:
Who is he going to fight?
Guys nine feet tall?
Think about it
A guy as physically impressive in size as the books Reacher would NEVER seem like he was going to get his ass kicked -- so where us the drama in that?
The bad guys have to be bigger than the good guys do we root for them. They tried to make Howie Long an action star in the 1990s
He was just too fucking big
The bad guys have to be more threatening than the good guys!
Remember the end of Singers first XMEN?
Wolverine, cyclops, jean grey, storm.
Versus frog guy, naked blue chick and saber tooth?
LAME!
If the movies Reacher was six and a half feet tall
Who's he gonna fight
And cruise did a good job kicking ass
He trained hard (with my M14)
I hope he does another Reacher and Wahlberg does another Shooter