Does anyone know a good way to induce vomiting so I can spew on my desk?
I've never been able to get fingers down the throat to work.
(baldmonkeya frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:20,
archived)

I don't have any salt handy. I may have to bring spewing supplies in tomorrow.
If this one works, it is good because I can drink a cup of water at my desk without looking like I am trying to induce vomiting.
(baldmonkeya frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:27,
archived)

for now, punch yourself hard as fuck in the bollocks
that should make you spew.
(mark morrisons prison shoesI love Willie, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:31,
archived)

I might just punch someone.
I'll probably get sent home then.
(MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:42,
archived)

If only there was a blade left lying around somewhere. I could give myself a decent gash on the arm, blame them for leaving a blade lying around and insist on leaving to get a tetanus shot.
Which would make me feel poorly so I'd have to go home to sleep it off.
(baldmonkeya frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:44,
archived)

Or
cut someone else take a photo of it say that you got cut and have to go home.
(MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:46,
archived)

I could look up photos of wounds on the internet, print one out, glue it to my arm and say the fucking butler did it and I need to leave.

or use a red pen and colour in your arm
then say you left the lid of the photocopier open and it gave you sunburn because you're one of those dark-skinned albinos.
(mark morrisons prison shoesI love Willie, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:51,
archived)