When Pandas Attack!

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An adorable panda named Yangyang attacked a college student who hopped a fence at a zoo in China because the student could not resist Yangyang's adorableness. "Yangyang was so cute, and I just wanted to cuddle him," the victim said from his hospital bed after being bitten on the arms and legs.

I totally blame movies like Kung Fu Panda for attempting to humanize these dangerous creatures in a way that betrays their true and violent nature. I mean, they are not called panda kittens or panda puppies. They are panda motherfucking bears.

I mean, you did see The Edge, didn't you? That whole movie was built around the fact that bears are fucking scary! It's the film that features the now-infamous Sir Anthony Hopkins/Alec Baldwin "I'm gonna kill the bear!" scene that climaxes with Hopkins declaring, "I'm gonna kill the motherfucker!" Watch: