Nia Vardalos Talks Infertility & Adoption

For women suffering from infertility, Mother’s Day can be a challenging and heartbreaking day to face. In the past, this was no different for My Big Fat Greek Wedding star Nia Vardalos who long suffered from infertility, and after years of trying to become pregnant, adopted a child a year ago. The actress, who is married to Cougar Town‘s Ian Gomez, took to Anderson Cooper’s 360 blog to share her feelings on Mother’s Day, as a mother, a woman who struggled with infertility, and as the spokesperson for National Adoption Day.

Last year the actress opened up to Parade, saying that six years ago she had to face “the end of a long battle with infertility.” She is now sharing stories of the painful years when those surrounding her were having children, admitting that when pressed about having a child, she would reveal “we’re trying,” only to receive advice from unknowing friends and acquaintances.

Vardalos said, “A lot of ‘You Should’ advice came my way. From the ‘latest technique in Europe,’ to ‘just adopt from China’ – everyone weighed in. I understood it all came from them wanting to help. It was meant with goodwill. But it was a painful, overwhelming subject for me. I just wanted to throw dip in the air and run.”
A year ago the couple were matched with their “perfect daughter” via adoption. Of the new addition the actress shared, “There is no limit to the amount of attention, kindness and warmth our families and friends – the “aunties” and “uncles” – shower on our daughter. Over a year later, she is thriving in an environment of love and care.”

Lastly, Vardalos, who admits she is now a “giddy idiot” on Mother’s Day asks, “Please, on Mother’s Day, have some compassion. If you see someone without kids, do not ask them why they don’t have children, why they don’t just adopt, or if they are pregnant. Please be kind. Be quiet and pass the dip.”

Read her article carefully. It doesn’t celebrate adoption, it sheds light on a narcissist with a victim-complex.

Anonymous

Didn’t see anything about her being a victim. Did see some information about how to help our friends with infertility at Mother’s Day by not offering silly advice and platitudes.

Bystander

I’ll have to look up “platitudes.”

Didn’t seem like any of the advice referenced in the article was “silly.”

Warlock

I meant read the article written on the Anderson Cooper Blog. But I ain’t arguing on the Internet. It’s a huge waste of time.

Anonymous

Asking a person why they don’t have children, or suggesting that they adopt without that person asking for your advice on the situation is “silly.” Suggesting to someone that they can “just adopt from China,” while certainly an option, is “silly.”

Warlock

Before we had our kids, people asked us allllll the time what our plans were. No one talking to us was mocking my wife for possibly being barren…and I doubt the “coven” did. Writing a column expressing that you can tell how someone feels about themselves when you walk in a room is meglo-maniacal. Stating that someone you think of as a pessimist is reminded “of the stench of their own perceived failure” when they see you is beyond “silly.” It’s grand narcissism. Funny that we keep meeting here, “Anonymously”- Anonymous. What is at stake her for you? I mean deep deep down….

Anonymous

I do infertility issues. I have no shame in saying that. While I would not state that people were mocking, there have been some pretty trite statements thrown my way. I agree that those statements were “silly,” however, I am speaking of the posted article here, not the referenced article. And, I do find it “silly” and “trite” that people try to “fix” people who face infertility.

You are not exactly claiming your identity, either. What is your stake in this?