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Monthly Archives: July 2014

I’ve honestly never thought about how someone could win my heart. But there’s a first for contemplating everything I guess. So here it goes, the 5 things someone could do to make themselves that much closer to winning my heart.

1. Have an actual conversation with me. Not the one that will impress me. Not the one that will eventually charm me into getting sexual with you. Not the one where you never show your true self. Not the one where I’m doing all the asking and you’re doing all the talking. An honest to goodness conversation. One thing that would sweep me off my feet in a second would be someone with the skill to craftily think of remarks and prying questions in response to my curiosity and interest in just about any topic. (This may sound a lot like what I mentioned in my self-centeredness post, for those of you who have read it. Though I thought it was worthy to be mentioned again because the ability to have a true conversation is important to me). Also, when you can add to the topic pool, things always flow better.

2. Be open, cuddly, and comfortable with me. The other night I hung out with this guy and one of my friends (a girl). The night went well. It wasn’t spectacular, though not quite dull either. One thing my friend and I mentioned at the end of the night was how closed off he seemed. He was fully present, but there was a disconnect with his ability to get comfortable. A lack of comfort in someone makes it harder for me to connect with them. Openness is also another very important thing. Being willing to do or talk about most things is a very refreshing thing. I can see not trying a nasty food that would make you throw up, or not jumping out of a plane to “live life,” but giving small things a chance is quite nice. It would also be great if you’d be open to talking about more touchier subjects instead of your typical weather talk. If you only talk about the weather…. so help me god… you better run…or I may hurt you… I’ve been scarred by an overdose of weather talk to fill an empty void that a vapid person in my life didn’t realize how else to fill. Oh, I almost forgot. If you want to win my heart, you better start out moderately cuddly. The cuddly level in our relationship will continue to escalate if it’s going to last, so this is your first warning if you don’t want to be discarded.

3. Have thoughts, and share them with me. Also, be uniquely you. One of the most adorable things I can think of in this world is picturing an attractive guy hyped up about a topic. Just sharing his opinion until his mind is relaxed and pleased of the good use he has put it through. Another thing that makes it especially adorable is if he shares his thoughts with me randomly while we’re cuddling, texting, etc. I find it quite unimpressive when I’m around a person that just seems clueless to the world and only months later in a moment that knowledge or an idea about a particular subject would make them well liked in a social setting, they then choose to use it just to appear like an expert… boring. Now onto being uniquely you. I was once having a discussion with some girls and we all began to talk about and agree that seeing a guy all focused and intent on his hobby or work, in his zone, is cute. As well as when a guy thinks no one is staring and exudes the pure essence of a natural human in his own skin. Displaying all the adorable idiosyncrasy’s that make him him.

4. Be my workout buddy. I’ve never been able to have a male workout buddy, even though I’ve had fit boyfriends. If a guy offered to be my personal workout coach/ trainer for a date sort of thing, I would cherish it more than any fancy dinner. Also, being my consistent workout buddy shows you valuing staying fit, healthy, and muscular for me and yourself.

5. Bring me somewhere casual, and teach me something fun. For a guy to really win my heart he has to get to know me, and that means knowing that I’m not one for fancy shmancy outings and such. I prefer a picnic over eating out. All I need is a setting where I can talk with my guy and we can get to know each other. The whole eating and talking at the same time at a stuffy restaurant doesn’t make me so comfortable. Another part of a date/ whooing process tip. Teach me how to do something. Bowling, fishing, rock climbing, etc. bring me to the place where you’re in your element and you are excited to help guide me through the learning process. I feel that when someone shares a passion or a hobby with me, I can begin to be able to relate to, or see how come they’re so passionate about their hobby.

This is a new type of writing I’m trying out with these writing prompts, so tell me what you think about the writing challenge. Do you think I should continue to write in the constructs of the writing prompts, or go back to my random rantings? Also, what are five ways someone could win your heart? (if your 5 ways are as long as mine, write a post about it and share the link with me below in the comments. I’d love to hear them!)

Recently I came across an article with a word that I have been looking for all this time. Self-centered. Now it’s a very simple word, yet my mind was at a loss of what the proper title is for someone who never focuses on learning about others. Throughout my dating experiences, and social interactions with basically anyone, typically, there would be purely one quality that could ever deter me from having any desire to interact again. That one quality ladies and gentlemen is self-centeredness. Now typically one might think that self-centered people simply only concern themselves with thoughts of their own misfortunes or events pertaining to themselves. The self-centered I’m referring to in this post is far worse than that (in my eyes). This self centered is when it alters one’s ability to connect with others. This self centered, my readers, basically is the social disorder everyone seems to have these days. When I reflect upon all of the interactions I have had in my life, I remember the majority of them involving me always initiating the conversations or the questions. No one ever seemed to be able to match or exceed my intrigue, curiosity, or wonderment of the world, topics, and the people that surrounded me. One major reason for all that pent up curiosity is my desire to understand others better and to connect with them. Perhaps some people don’t have the same desire. All I know is that ever since elementary school I have followed one rule for many years, “treat others how you would want to be treated.” I realize the rule is most likely referring to kindness, inclusion, acceptance, and the sorts, but I’ve tweaked the rule to fit how I’d like to be interacted with/ treated in relationships. I ask questions about the most random things and when asked the question, “what did you do today?” I actually respond with something the other person can work with. All I hope for in return is to be interacted with in the same fashion. I’m instantly drained when I have to endure a conversation with someone that requires all topics and momentum to come from my energy reserves. For those of you who interact with people but never add your own intrigue directed in the other person’s direction, let me tell you this: that conversation will end with you thinking “wow what an interesting fulfilling conversation I just had with that dynamic person,”whilst they think to themselves, “oh god… never again!! I guess I’ll go to find a schizophrenic person and ask how in the world I could find myself some voices… at least the voices would add to a conversation…” (DISCLAIMER: the previous sentence was all pure sarcasm and does not in any way reflect how I view the schizophrenic disorder. I realize that having voices in your head would most likely be in no way pleasant or desired, and in no way do I mean to undermine the severity of the disturbance it must bring to an affected individual). I’ve noticed that even when someone decides to approach me and ‘get to know’ me, it falls into the same pattern: suffocation of boredom and one-sided-ness. Perhaps this problem is due to people groveling in any chance they get to have someone with a plethora of topics and questions to ask. Let’s be real, have you ever tired of a questionnaire filled with interesting questions? Maybe you have. Though what if that questionnaire included a pretty face with a look of admiration or intrigue plastered on it, and all of that attention solely for you? I know that if I didn’t have so many thoughts and questions running through my mind by the minute, I too could sit back and let one person do the wondering and asking in a conversation. Although I know one other thing. The person who I just interacted with knows far more about me than i do about them, and if I am to ever form any relationship with them, they’d know how to console, interest, or interact with me, while I’d be at a total loss when it came to them. Equaling a possible fall out due to my lack of understanding of them as a person and their over understanding of me as a person. It saddens me that many of the people that I’ve interacted with that just happened to slowly slip out of my life were results of this exact ignorance. I slowly gave up on maintaining it, and began searching for relationships with people that could reciprocate properly. To this day I’ve only found a handful that have come close. I think the rest of the people I’ve encountered in my life had simply fallen prey to the disorder of self-centeredness. Hopefully in my life I happen to find a handsome fellow that surpasses me with his own interest and curiosity, and I’ll finally have my reciprocation, and perhaps a potential love?

Sorry for my own self-centeredness in this post. I just had to rant a little. Have any of you ever encountered the dreaded self-centered type, or possibly found yourself people who have an innate ability to reciprocate?