Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wedded Bliss

Is marriage all that you thought it was going to be and how long have you been married? What do you see for your future as a couple?

Ending the week with something light. Ha.

Let's start with the easy part. We have been married for 26 years, 4 months, and 6 days. "Wow", you say. "How can you be so accurate?" It's easy. I have an anniversary timeline on my blog. I added it in the months leading up to our 25th which we celebrated last year in grand style...sitting in our attorney's office signing the papers for our home purchase. We know how to live it up, don't we. I was going to take the timeline down after our 25th but decided I liked to see that number every day. I mean, let's face it, 26+ years is a bit of an accomplishment.

Is marriage all that I thought it would be?

Honestly, I was just shy of 24 when I got married and while I thought I knew everything a lot about what I was heading into, I didn't really know a lot. And in some ways I think that's a good thing. We were both young. We each had a car and a job but no money saved and no real furniture. We started from scratch. We built something together. And that feels good. Really really good.

I'm sure like many young girls I had an idealized picture in my head of what married life would be like. It would be like a fairy tale. The good parts of a fairy tale. And some days its exactly the way I pictured. Hubs coming in from a hard day at the office and me in my apron and pearls with a lovely meal on the table. Well, you know what I mean.

Commitment is sometimes an overused word but in marriage it is key. And not just in committing to each other but in committing to remain married come what may. Maybe married life is more like a fairy tale than it first appears. Don't our favorite fairy tales all contain some dark moments mixed with the bright... struggles of one kind or another?

'In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse..." We say those vows on our wedding day but at age 24 we don't really think we'll be sick, poor or 'worse'. The reality of life is that we will have all of that and more. In looking back after many years of marriage I can see that its the very combination of the good and the bad, the rough and the smooth, the easy and the hard, that have made our lives together fuller and stronger and richer...its the ups and the downs we've shared that have united us as a couple. There is a depth to marriage after 20some years that is not there on Day 1. It has to be grown. And for something to grow it needs to be tended and cared for and lovingly looked after on a regular basis. This is true of many things in life but is especially true of a marriage.

What do I see in the future for us as a couple?

We're in a new stage of married life now...an almost empty nest (hubs says its not officially empty until the tuition bills cease and he does have a point) and we're kind of figuring it out as we go along. In the future we hope to settle down south with a home on the water. We both like boating and traveling so there will definitely be some of that. And I hope we can do some good somewhere. And I hope there are grandchildren to play with and spoil. And I hope when I'm 80 and he's 81 that he can still make me laugh. I'm pretty sure the importance of keeping your sense of humor in marriage cannot be overstated.

10 comments:

I loved this post. Yes. Marriage is a committment-no matter what. It doesn't ever cross my mind that I should just leave when things get tough. And things do get tough. Marriage is hard, but it is also super rewarding.

I love the way you talk about depth. There is a deepness that cannot be achieved except through longevity. I talked with my son the other day about the fact that he not only has to learn about becoming a husband, he also has to learn how to be his wife's best friend. That comes through time and through toubles as well as good times. And definitely with a large dose of humor!

Enjoyed your post. I love reading about you and your husband, he is your best friend and it shows. You have a beautiful family!That was always my dream... however it takes two to want that dream. I have part of that dream now, just without kids of our own, and we will never see 25 years. He is older than me. But life is good!until next time... nel