Thursday, December 4, 2014

GRIEF CENTER: THE CHILDREN'S ROOM

Journey Journal... Arlington, MassachusettsHOPE LIVES HERE

Where is there calm during
the storm, amid the swirling sea of emotions and turbulent upheaval of a child
submerged in the heartache of loss?
Where is there comfort for young souls broken by the
incomprehensible impact of a loved one’s death?

It happens in a cheerfully
appointed yellow house.Although The Children’s Room originally began as a room for this
purpose, nowadays it comprises multiple rooms within a yellow-painted, vintage
house on Massachusetts Avenue in the Boston suburb of Arlington.This non-profit organization provides
grief support for children and teens between the ages of three and eighteen,
along with their families.

Here, festering thoughts and
feelings are released from imprisonment of silent rumination… where they can be
safely verbalized and acknowledged… where non-verbal vehicles of expression
permit their articulation and conveyance… where mindful clarity
promotes healing.

Here, uncharted minds
wandering aimlessly and alone in foreign territory are given a voice… to
acquire a sense of direction for getting back on course… to learn the language
of orientation in a transformed and bewildering environment… to gain stability
within unfamiliar districts of an unforeseen destination.

This is where a legion of
community thrives… where flourishing connections displace isolation… where
perspectives are shared among others similarly thrust into a chasm of the
ultimate deprivation… among those whose life ties have been severed by mortal
endings… brought together in a milieu where disengagement due to vanished
familial kinships yields to a fortifying convergence of kindred spirits.

This is where the agitation
of death surrenders to peace.

The nature of the building
in which this facility functions imparts a homey atmosphere. A first-floor
gathering room invites relaxation.Family members congregate here before children separate for
age-appropriate activities upstairs.Meanwhile, parents remain downstairs for engagement in support groups.

A reading nook adjacent to
the front door is equipped with resources.

Upstairs, floor pillows in
circular arrangements set the stage for verbal communication and interactive
exercises among young participants.
A Tibetan Singing Bowl is a central
feature, used during group sessions as a signal to mark beginnings and
endings.Sound from the vibrating
rim of the bowl fades gradually, invoking an aura of quiet relaxation.

Trained professionals on
staff implement targeted activities designed to stimulate expressions among
participants. Methods of art, music, play, and poetry are among the tools
employed to encourage exploration of feelings, acknowledgement of grief,
sharing of memories, and attention to personal needs.

As one of the simplest signature
items of childhood paraphernalia, a ball is accoutered with words to evoke
responses.Each time it is tossed to
someone, the recipient answers the question or completes the sentence written on
the spots touched by one’s fingertips.

Perceived desertion
predictably may invoke feelings of frustration, anger, and aggressive
impulses.Such reactions can be
safely channeled in a padded room dominated by a dangling punching bag.

Reposing in a corner, a non-judgmental
teddy bear watches the action, primed and ready for hugging at any time.

Activities vary according to
their relevance for particular age groups.A group of young children may tap a treasure trove of outfits
for fantasy dressing up or may act out scenarios within the confines of a
dollhouse.In typically adolescent
style, teens can hang out on the third-floor, uppermost attic region of the house,
away from intrusions of more juvenile influences.

Relevantly created words
on cards are situated under a transparent overlay on a game table.

Artistic expressions are a
pivotal part of healing initiatives in this setting. A room designated for such pursuits is well appointed with
supplies.

Some pieces, individually constructed, become part of a collective project.

Even outdoors, tokens of loving memory adorn the property.

Scheduled tours of the
building occur monthly in addition to arranged group visits. Fee-based workshops and topic-specific training
sessions are available for professionals, as are individual consultations to
address a particular child’s or family’s needs. The focus of an eight-week Parent Education Series deals
with coping strategies for folks raising children while grieving. Individual family (adult) consultations
can be arranged, too. An
internship program enables undergraduate and graduate students to delve into
the practical realities of facilitating grief support programs.

Though primary objectives
are fulfilled on the premises, services also are provided beyond the boundaries
of this building. Community presentations coupled with newspaper publications raise
awareness. Through visits and phone contacts, information
about resources and referrals is relayed to teachers and counselors who work
with grieving children. Literature
suggestions are noted on The Children’s Room website, as well as a regular
newsletter. An annual three-mile “Memories Walk” engages participants who
wear a T-shirt with the name of the personally significant loved one on the
back of it; afterwards, there is a program with food and entertainment.

Collegial interaction at The
Children’s Room is based on a model of peer support. Community volunteers provide a foundation of manpower as facilitators
of support group sessions. They
are prepared through a fee-based, six-week program of training, after which
they may be selected and assigned to a group that is under the supervision of a
staff member.

Volunteer opportunities
extend beyond such core commitments, though. Individuals can contribute labor
for a few hours during regularly scheduled Garden Volunteer Days, when the progressively
developing landscape of their “Hope Grows Here” garden is tended. People may also be in a position to
spread the word about the organization in public settings.

Fundraisers offer other
options, as well, either by groups or through individual involvement. Bolstered by contributions, a cadre of staff
members (as a “Miles and Memories Marathon Team) participates as runners in the
Boston Marathon, each in memory of someone personally significant. Tribute and memorial gifting can be a
meaningful gesture for financial support. Cars may be donated via the Donate For Charity website,
identifying this venture as the chosen recipient of proceeds.

Monetary and material support
is critical for operations.
Primary services are provided at no cost, so reliance on contributions
and supplemental sources of income is essential. Two thirds of income is generated by individual donations, complemented
by funding for the additional third from foundations and corporations.

Certain types of tangible
contributions are welcomed, as well.
Businesses’ gift cards for food and household necessities are among
them, as are art supplies, blank journals, and relevant library books.

Families tend to continue in
the program as recipients of support for one to three years. After that, parents may maintain
connections through the facility’s Parents Alumni Group. Sometimes the young people get on board
again, especially as teen volunteers.

This place… this beacon of
hope inspired by experiences of death, resonates with vigor. It is alive with color, works of art,
cozy appointments, and flowering garden beds outdoors. Staffed by a cadre of professional bereavement
specialists, it bespeaks possibilities… for comforting support, personal
growth, and acclimation to loss.
It is an impressive way to address depressing circumstances of youthful
bereavement, engendering restoration of health and happiness.