I really connect with the discussion on this topic and have found that the quality of my intimate relationship in AA is directly related to the quality I have in my relationship with my higher power. I think understanding this is so important I wrote a memoir (just published!) in which I explore my own personal journey in this area. It is remarkable how closely the two parallel.

I determined a long time ago that conflict is not a good reason to leave a job cuz I take at least half the problem with me to the next one. Same with personal relationships AND my HP. I proved that several times in my life.

I noticed that the 12 steps mention alcohol only once in step 1 and once again in 12. The rest of it is about having personal contact with a non-human (pg 60 (b) - "That probably no human power could relieve me of alcoholism") Higher Power as (much as) I understand Him.

The whole thing is about changing my half of every relationship. Amazing how changing me changes how life and people treat me. Go figure!

As I worked the steps and continue to PAY ATTENTION to HP, as I get to know Him better, I've been having revelation after revolution after epiphany about my relationship with my wife, my career, AA siblings, and everyone and everything else.

IT WAS ALWAYS ME AFTER ALL !

Does AA have anything to do with relationships? YOU BETCHA ! It doesn't have anything to do with anything else. Alcohol was just my way of proving life didn't love me the way I was.

And THAT'S the real deal.

I thought I might clarify something I wrote above:

Everyone else can leave the room, but I have to live with me.

Hhhmmm ... well... no I don't have to. There's only two solutions to THAT problem.

For me, the two solutions were auto-murder or the AA way.

One of the 3 reasons I didn't kill myself is I believe in life or death after death. The death would be being stuck in a room with myself the way I was that moment. EEeeewwwwww ...

pollypickle wrote:Love is the willingness to extend myself for my own or another's spiritual growth.

Wow, I have to say...reading this, after the day I had today...AMAZING. I had a great a day, please dont take that the wrong way. But this quote just kind of ties the whole day together in a nice little pretty bow wrapped package.

I get it now....I have been willing to extend myself...do whatever it takes, for that person. I understand now, why that person wants me to do it for myself more than for him. Thats part of why I care about him...because he cares about himself.

I GET IT!!!! I need to love myself more than anyone else...then I can be the best me...and be the best for everyone else!!!!! (well, not "the best" but I can be the best I can be for them)

That quote says so many things. Its just mind blowing.

Timmy wrote:Have I done love today?

Not gonna say yes or no to that...cause either way, I havent done enough of it.