"What bullying? What do you mean by “buffoonery”? Also, would you drop this arrogance? It’s like education automatically makes you a superior human who knows better than everybody else what they want."

King: Is there an invocation by the president of the United States of executive privilege? Is there or not?

Rogers: Not that I’m aware of.

King: Then why are you not answering?

Rogers: Because I feel that it is inappropriate.

King: What you feel isn’t relevant, admiral.

_________________"Now that we've determined that up to π angels can dance on the head of a pin, how do we determine the specific number (or fraction) of angels dancing?"
"What if angels from another pin engage them in melee combat?"

Son 1: *breaking down crying because he watched a YouTube science video about the universe ending in a trillion years*
Mrs erik: "it is Ok - that is a very long time from now. you will be long dead by then. Everyone you ever knew will be dead. Nana and Papi will be dead."

Later on in that discussion:
Son1: is there a potion I can take to keep from dying?
Mrs erik: no

This happens with my son, too. I get a tearful boy walking into my room at two in the morning.

"I can't sleep."
"Why not?"
"I was thinking how the universe might be a false vacuum and what will happen to us."_________________My son makes me laugh. Maybe he'll make you laugh, too. Oh, hey! There's now a Minecraft Edition of GODzookery!

Last edited by Maj on Thu Aug 17, 2017 2:35 am; edited 1 time in total

erik: are you gonna eat this? (Holding up a pbj sandwich mrs erik made a few days ago and has been sitting in the fridge, that looks like if Steve Bannon was a sandwich)
mrs erik: no.
erik: mind if I take it to work tomorrow?
mrs erik: sure
erik: I'm not gonna eat it. I just want to show it to my coworkers
mrs erik: you are so mean

erik: are you gonna eat this? (Holding up a pbj sandwich mrs erik made a few days ago and has been sitting in the fridge, that looks like if Steve Bannon was a sandwich)
mrs erik: no.
erik: mind if I take it to work tomorrow?
mrs erik: sure
erik: I'm not gonna eat it. I just want to show it to my coworkers
mrs erik: you are so mean

I have a running joke with my wife that the fridge is "where food goes to die"_________________Koumei: and if I wanted that, I'd take some mescaline and run into the park after watching a documentary about wasps.
PhoneLobster: DM : Mr Monkey doesn't like it. Eldritch : Mr Monkey can do what he is god damn told.
Chamomile: Deaddmwalking... was a holy warrior dedicated not to a specific cause, but to doing battle with a single foe. With his nemesis forever banished from our shores, he goes off to become a normal denner who puts irritating people on ignore rather than endlessly engage them.

"The only thing I’d be impartial about is what prison this guy goes to."

"I don’t like this person at all. I just can’t understand why he would be so stupid as to take an antibiotic which H.I.V. people need and jack it up five thousand percent. I would honestly, like, seriously like to go over there—” (Judge: “Sir, thank you”)

“I have total disdain for the man”

“I’m aware of the defendant and I hate him”

“he’s a greedy little man”

“he’s the most hated man in America”

“There was something about him. I can’t be fair. There was something that didn’t look right.”

“when I walked in here today I looked at him, and in my head, that’s a snake—not knowing who he was—I just walked in and looked right at him and that’s a snake.”

Judge: “The question is, have you heard anything that would affect your ability to decide this case with an open mind. Can you do that?”
Juror: “I don’t think I can, because he kind of looks like a dick.”

"He disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan."

"I already sense the man is guilty."_________________

Dean, on Paranoia wrote:

The book is a hardbound liars paradox.

Winnah wrote:

No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.

FrankTrollman wrote:

In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.

So . . if everybody in 'murica hates him and he thus can't get a fair trial . . what happens then?_________________Welcome, to IronHell.

Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)

Shrapnel wrote:

TFwiki wrote:

Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.

Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.

(chastising the boys for fighting instead of bringing their problem to mom and dad)
erik: You want something stopped, you bring it to someone with the power to stop it. And who has the power here? Mommy and daddy.
both little eriks in stereo: Mommy
erik: What? No! Mommy, go to your room.
mrs erik dies laughing at my impotence.
erik: Well, I have power over the cats anyway. (commanding our little biter cat) Bite mommy's toes tonight.

The secret to my power over cats is that I only tell them to do what they were going to do anyway.