A Pediatricians' Raw Experience in Private Independent Medical Practice on the front lines.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

I Wish My Doctor Knew…

Recently the New
York Times published an article What Kids Wish Their Teachers Knew.As a
pediatrician, I have spent a good part of my lifetime fighting for the health
and welfare of our young people.They
are the future.We owe our children a safe,
caring, stable childhood whenever possible. Outside of a supportive family, a
long-term family physician or pediatrician can be an important role model for
impressionable youngsters.For
confidentiality reasons I have altered identifying details, but will give you
some of the great things heard over the years and a few tragic ones as well.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… There is not enough food at home.Many years ago, I was seeing twins for a
yearly checkup and giving them shots when one, older by 4 minutes, blurted out
there was not enough food to eat at night when she was hungriest.I contacted the school counselor to ensure
both children were offered free breakfast and lunch at school.They were added to the program sending home a
backpack full of food every weekend.At
Thanksgiving, this family received one of the donated dinner baskets with
turkey, mashed potatoes, and all the trimmings.The children grew better and crossed percentiles in the positive
direction; their grades improved as an added bonus.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… I want to marry her someday.A six year old boy informed me he was going
to “marry me” when he grew up.He was
disappointed at 9 years of age when I married my husband.He turns 18 this year and brought his
girlfriend to the last visit which seemed awkward initially until she confessed
I took care of her as a little girl more than a decade ago.I definitely approved.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… My mother is drunk right now. When I smell alcohol on
their breath, they should not drive themselves home.Often there is a companion with them who is a
designated driver, but if high on methamphetamines or intoxicated, I call the
authorities, trying to distract the parent until help arrives.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… I want to be just like her when I grow up.I have this budding group of young future
physicians.They come with me when I
draw up shots to “help”; many of them look forward to our time together.The conversations while standing next to the immunization
refrigerator are unbelievably candid.After
turning 16, I encourage them to follow me for a week and determine if medicine
is really something they are interested in pursuing.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… my daddy does not live at home anymore.This one comes out unexpectedly every so
often.Parents have a hard time telling
me because they are afraid I will be disappointed in their decisions.I remind my families it is not possible to
know what any of us would do ourselves until faced with the exact same
circumstances, experiences, and entanglements. We are all doing the best we
can.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… How much I hate her right now.This is my favorite kind of teenager.Their statement usually follows startling recommendations
for enforcing a curfew, punishing for smoking pot in their bedroom, removing computer
or cell phone access due to failing grades, or unexpectedly curtailing their
activities.The angry teenager crosses
their arms, glares at me, and tells their parent they are never coming back to
this awful place.I smile and tell them eventually
they are going to love me, but until then, they need to be patient and give it
time.They shoot me a look that says, “Want
to bet?”It is a challenge I readily
accept.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… I am scared of being deported.A few weeks ago, a child said they were
worried about who was going to be elected, because they were afraid of being
sent back to El Salvador.I asked if he
was born in the US and he replied he was but his parents were not and he was
afraid they would be sent away.He is
just seven years old.I honestly did not
know what to say.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… I love when she has time to read me a story.Once in a while, I get a break in my schedule
and children will ask to have a story read to them.I love reading to children.I never read it the same way twice.The shared time and resulting connection is
absolutely priceless.

I Wish My Doctor Knew… My uncle got me pregnant.This has remained one of the most difficult
situations I have ever experienced in my career.Physicians face unexpected situations often but
witnessing the consequences of depravity can be utterly devastating.She looked much younger than her twelve years,
yet delivered a healthy infant a few days shy of thirteen.When I asked her if she had been sexually
active, she answered ‘no’.She was
telling the truth because of course, she did not consent to what was done.After transferring her to an alternate
location for necessary medical care, I vomited into a garbage can before
calling CPS and the police.

I Can’t Wait to Tell My Doctor…I got straight A’s on my report card.When kids come in beaming while holding up a
piece of paper, I know it is going to be good.It can be a college acceptance letter, certificate of achievement, or a
sports award they earned for their hard work and dedication.I like to make a copy and place it in the
“friendship section” of their chart for posterity sake.It is such a pleasure to watch a child revel
in their own success.

While this job is
difficult beyond imagination, what I love about being a pediatrician is seeing
how resilient children are despite the obstacles they face.We do not give them enough credit sometimes;
they are far stronger than we realize.It only takes one adult who was supportive and willing to make sure the
needs of the child were met to change the trajectory of their entire lives.I have seen it, I have done it, and I will
continue listen, encourage, support, and love these young human beings.Be that one adult when a child in need
crosses your path.