Joan Rivers Almost Got a Tattoo on Her Ass Wednesday 21 March, 2012

By: Kaptain Kush

Joan Rivers is doing what every 78 year old should do: going absolutely ape shit. Girl is straight MURDERING it. Smokin bowls in her whip one week. Getting a bumble bee tatted sketched onto her ass the next. Who cares that she didn’t actually get inked up. She let a camera crew take shots of bumble bee tuna’s mascot on her ass. Don’t think most nanas would let that fly.

Whatever reality show she’s on should be moved to MTV, put in a prime time slot, and called “Joan Goes HAM.” Just make it Joan Rivers doing all sorts of shit on her bucket list. Have her get bukakkeyed by the Giants defensive line one episode. Have her candyflip and go to a rave at Webster Hall the next, ending with her on stage throwing her bra at Afrojack. And end every episode with the same line: I’ve always wanted to do that. Boom. Move over Jersey Shore, Joan’s comin for your ass.

If I make it to 78, I’m taking the Joan Rivers route: just doing the grungiest, riskiest shit I can come up with.