Monday, 28 April 2014

Hi all! There seems to have been a misunderstanding about the nature of the prize, it will be a brand new board game of your choice, not a tatty old second hand cast-off! Comment on the previous post (Click this link!) to enter if you haven't already. I will allow entries for another week or so then draw the winner, who can choose a brand new board game of their choice. Overseas winners must choose a game available in their own country so I can buy it from a retailer in their country. Check out the video below for some sage advice on how to approach any competition.

Saturday, 26 April 2014

Having waited a long time for a response from the winner of the 100th member competition, I must now officially close the window of opportunity to claim the prize.

The competition is therefore once again open to all my beloved blogging chums! As previously we had a winner that never read the posts announcing his good luck (skim reading through a blog roll is fairly common) I will set some basic parameters this time for entry. Remember, the prize is a board game of your choice (within reason, no long OOP, v.rare, pristine, BIN copies of chainsaw warrior off ebay for £10,000 I'm afraid) and to enter you must be a follower and leave a comment on this post.

Juicy, juicy prizes.

There is no way to get extra entries, reposting or advertising this will potentially just harm your odds! I don't want to falsely inflate my numbers, just reward those who have read and commented on my chunterings for the past couple of years. That said, it's always fun to get someone new on the followers list so if you do know of anyone into miniatures, nostalgia, GM-led gaming and narrative-style scenarios... send them on over!

Now, get commenting! No bonus entries for style but if you reveal a shameful wargaming secret about yourself it will make the comments more interesting so do that.

Friday, 18 April 2014

I was pretty down last week after the Gnome on the Range game, I came down with a serious tonsillitis/'flu/chest infection combo that completely floored me and caused me to miss Thantsants' big gaming weekend in Cumbria. :( I'd appreciate it if nobody ever talks about it in my presence so that I can pretend it just didn't happen. Cheers. I am significantly improved now and feel sure I'm going to make it.

Me, last week.

I did get some lovely feedback after the Gnome on the Range game though and as a result I have penciled in June the 14th 2014 as the next date for a Warlord Paul presents game. Orlygg and Steve Casey will be guests of honour and hopefully the horde of the Deathfist will regain the trust of Khorne in a fresh outing. Anyone who fancies joining in a WFB3 battle please get in touch. The final venue has yet to be confirmed but it will be Nottingham or thereabouts.

Ulthur 'Slambo' Deathfist.

I am attending BOYL 2014 on both days and I am seeking an opponent to face my Chaos army. It has two settings, Realm of Chaos (which is a bit saucy to say the least) or Warhammer Armies (which is much more vanilla) but runs to around 3500 points either way. No doubt I will mess around with a bit of skirmishing RT or Warhammer but I would like to set up a traditional, scenario-driven battle on one of the days for funs. Let me know if you fancy it. I like to tell a tale rather than compete, just so you know the type of game I'm after.

Never been one for taking Warhammers too seriously.

Next post should be loads of photos from Gnome on the Range, Mr Curtis Fell can feel free to copy them straight from the blog or if you are in my googly circley thing I can share them with you directly upon request.

Googly circley thing.

I love you all, but special welcomes to my new members. I am still heavily medicated but don't let that concern you.

Friday, 11 April 2014

Heavy, rain-sodden, clouds scudded overhead and the wind was picking up as Lavender McDade and her two henchmen clattered on the door to the Casey Farm compound. Lavender hated to be away from the security of her stronghold at the gold mine but her men had failed to enslave these pathetic Gnomes once so she had no choice but to take charge. Baron Hasbor had grown more than a little unpredictable since his predecessor's unfortunate 'accident' and he must be given no cause to complain at the size of the gold shipments! Just as the Gnome's curses and imprecations were starting to annoy her and she had begun to consider which of her cruel spells she would use first, Lavender spied movement from the corner of her eye. Three burly mercenaries were approaching boldly up the path, all slashed sleeves and feathers with not a care in the world. 'Perhaps with any luck', she thought, 'they are looking for an employer who pays gold for breaking the spirit of a few Gnomes'.
It turned out that Miss McDade was quite correct, the burly thugs did indeed seek an employer that offered them gold in exchange for breaking things. They and several others of their ilk had been drawn to these borderlands in the wake of the Baron Coleco's untimely death as rumour had it that there would be plenty of glory and loot for canny young fellows with a quick blade, such as they.

The fight at the Casey Farm would eventually attract the attention of some marauding Marsh Goblins and a Skaven death squad who entered the employ of Lavender and thereby the Baron Hasbor, as well as a Dwarf stealth insertion team sent to offer assistance to any fair folk who might come under attack in these unpredictable times that joined the Gnomes.

Casey Farm, under attack.

Though the Dwarfs and Gnome put up a mighty struggle, felling the thugs and badly wounding Cabbage Jack one of Lavender's henchmen, The skirmish ended with the capture of Colonel Casey and all his sons thanks to the timely intervention of the Skaven. Before they were killed in return, the thugs had exceeded their brief after smashing down the door and struck Ma Casey a fatal blow, her loss and their subsequent enslavement were bitter blows for the Gnomes to bear.

Later that week, the situation had deteriorated badly for the simple folk of the border barony. A stream of refugees was pouring south towards the Moot and the hope of safety from marauders and brigands. Baron Hasbor was desperate to give a show of strength and demonstrate he was in charge to stop his newly won population haemmorhaging away but instead of defeating the bandits he simply hired as many as he could to his cause and sent them against the refugees with orders to turn them back. Needless to say the operation swiftly became a massacre with rampant looting and pillaging the least of the people's problems.

The column of misery, Gnomes, Men and Dwarfs all suffering together.

Nevertheless, leaders began to emerge from the chaos. A doughty Dwarf Trollslayer held back Chief Zog Sekswackz and his tribe of Marsh Goblins almost single handed, though he suffered grievous wounds in the process. A brave poacher, Robin, overcame his nerves to slay a bird-headed sorcerer of Chaos from the warband of Darv the Wrathful earning him the title 'Brave Sir Robin' from his comrades. Members of the Dwarf stealth team (who cannot be named for their own safety) managed to engineer the escape of many refugees that would otherwise have been slaughtered by the troops of Throt the Unclean, an infamous Skaven warlord.

Once it was clear that there was to be no escape from Baron Hasbor's madness and his villainous army, those with good in their hearts and a sturdy sword-arm banded together for one last effort to survive in the face of destruction. The fair Esmerelda, princess of the Wood Elves, emerged from her arboreal home to unite the survivors and offer hope. Colonel Casey and his sons escaped their chains to lead a band of their folk in battle. The Trollslayer recovered just enough to go forth and seek an honourable doom. Brave Sir Robin took command of the menfolk and inspired a valiant flame in their breast.

The Good Alliance stands firm and prepares to hold the line!

From the north the enemy came, first Chief Zog and his Marsh Goblin tribe, this time accompanied by a monstrous War-Tortoise under the command of his brother-in-law Kilgore Turtlewackz. Then, Darv the Wrathful, he who had garnered much glory and a something of a reputation for merciless butchery. Skulking in the rear was the army of Throt the Unclean, who had somehow managed to convince the mentally deteriorating Baron Hasbor to hold the Skaven in 'reserve'. The Baron himself led the throng, mounted on his mutant Dragonhorse and guarded by his personal household troops.

The Baron gives the order to advance, unaware his troops are disloyal scum.

The battle that followed was a legend in the making. The treacherous Throt wasted no time in attacking his erstwhile employer from behind, slaying the Baron as well as Beau Weasel and Cabbage Jack. The fate of Lavender is unclear, certainly the Skaven hoped to eliminate her as well but rumours of her escape refuse to die. The Baron's Ogre bodyguards, Lump and Klug, were both slain in battle by the Good Alliance while his household Beastmen regiment declared their new loyalty to Throt. Colonel Casey gave his life fighting the mighty War-Tortoise and buying time for the Good right flank to triumph against Darv the Wrathful's warband. A unit of rag-tag knights that had served formerly under the Baron Coleco had come out of hiding to join the fray and despite the discovery of a traitor in their ranks mid-battle they recovered to crush the Chaos Knights of Darv the Wrathful, contributing to his defeat.

Though many brave souls had given their lives to oppose Baron Hasbor the battle went better than many in the Good Alliance had dared hope. Many Elves had died including the beautiful Esmerelda, even Woody the Treeman had perished. Though Colonel Casey was dead, his sons lived on to continue the fight for freedom. Though the Marsh Goblins had broken a pike phalanx the collapse of Darv's warband and Throt's treachery had left the evil army in no position to capitalise on any local success.

The situation now in the borderlands is fragile. Skaven agents have moved fast and claimed the Baron's keep. Bandits and brigands still have free reign over a lawless land. The good folk still cry out for liberty, though they have their lives at the very least as a result of this day.

'So, we have a deal then?'The hooded sorceress narrowed her eyes as she asked the question.'You have a gold mine all to yourself? Nobody else knows where it is now there is no Baron?' Came questions in reply.'Nobody.' The sorceress replied firmly. 'Just little old me'. She continued, her tone playful now.'Then we have a deal. My troops are yours to command.'Lavender smiled, temporarily satisfied. Revenge was going to be so very sweet, and so very cold.
Thanks to all those who made the tremendous effort to take part, it was great gaming with you! There are many small tales that have gone untold, like the curious, wide-eyed daemon who escaped his binding and roamed the land for a short time before dying at the hands of the power-hungry Skaven or the fearless Zoat that fought in the downfall of Darv the Wrathful, or Darv himself and his brutally efficient murder of a Dwarf vanguard in the refugee column scenario. You just had to be there to get it all!

I am a born-again responsible gamer. My conquest of the Etherweb will be slow, but inevitable.

Mission Statement.

This Blog will be used to revolutionise wargaming, succeeding where others have failed. Oh yes it will! I will teach you all the error of your ways and subvert you to my cause. I am on a crusade to bring back the GamesMaster to all tabletop battles. On the way, I will track my wargaming progress project by project and as a whole, bringing projects to completion and moving on to new challenges. I have moved away from the hollow, charmless gaming that has become a kind of standard thanks to our own complacency and develop a gaming style that encompasses the gaming and role-play values of the 80s and early 90s (my youth) whilst going beyond what that era achieved into exhilarating new realms of fun. I will therefore use the Blog to record my battle and keep on the right course with my overall philosophy in the same way as I fortify my discipline with individual projects. I will use the blogging platform to challenge my painting, modelling and photography skills, though I will not allow the pursuit of high standards to interfere with the deadlines I set myself so expect a mixture of different quality paint jobs, photos et cetera. The aspiration to perfection is always a long term goal, so get stuff done in the mean time. The blog will come in handy for insurance purposes, tremble in fear claims negotiators. I promise not to use the Blog as a vacuous diary, sharing a life which though personally gratifying is possibly outwardly dull. Though I am pretty neat. I will utilise gentle humour often, as is my way, without descending into constant joke-telling. I will not shy away from subtle adult humour and occasional vulgarity (this will not include serious swear words however) though only rarely and in always in context. This is because I like my wargaming to have a moral awareness of it’s real life counterpart (war) in amongst all the fun times. I will not post whilst drunk. I will never review movies, books or anything else for that matter though I may recommend stuff for gaming inspiration purposes and talk about a fun time I had doing something that linked to my gaming activities. I will strive to avoid discussing the world in absolute terms, accepting rather that reality is in the eye of the beholder and that maturity acknowledges variety. I want the hobby to be inclusive and will avoid misogynistic blogger staples such as using pictures of ladies breasts to liven up mediocre posts. I will ask you now once, for the first and last time, to comment and follow if you feel able as these signs of recognition are greatly appreciated. I will never again seek any acclamation for what I’m doing. As a final point, I will make it clear that I thinkGamers, us, ourselves, are responsible for the state of wargaming, NOT Games Workshop, Wizards of the Coast et cetera who despite being in the grasp of vile corporate vampires actually carry out, diligently and with dignity, a worthy and thankless task. If anything goes downhill people are far too quick to blame the governing body, when they should be taking personal responsibility first and foremost. Wargamers of the world, the time for excuses is past, it is time to have incredible fun!