Monday, October 20, 2014

Just a Main Division in The Story

My, my, my it
is has been some time since I actually wrote on the ole blog!!! I come
back now a slightly changed (hopefully for the better) person. I have
completed ALL of my prerequisite classes and in about a week I will travel
to San Francisco to see if it is an real option for living out this new
chapter.Its interesting that we use that term "chapter", which literally means "main division".
For the past few weeks (well, a whole lot longer than that), I have
been breaking down the story of me. Michele as a child. Michele as an
young adult. And now who I am today. There was a moment this weekend as I
was reflecting on the different "chapters" of my life, I realized
something was propelling me into each unknown... The feeling of always wanting more. Yet, it is a feeling I've ALWAYS
been uncomfortable possessing. I thought it was wrong. "Appreciate what
you have!", "Be thankful that don't have less!", "Don't be spoiled!"
These well-intended voices prohibited my innate desire. Truthfully, what
I feel like is a basic human desire... to want more. Not in a bad way, where what you have isn't enough,
but in the way that a mother desires more for her children. I
realized 'more' does not equal gluttonous, or excessive, or greedy. It does not
take away the appreciation for what is. Instead, it is growth. It is
expansion. It is more of what is. It is the hope of what can be... So,
amazingly, I made this peace with what has been a story in every
chapter of my life. And it feels so fulfilling to say, "I want more." I
probably always will. Because, in fact, I believe it continues to write a pretty interesting
narrative. ;)xo