Last April, famously levelheaded and rational Minnesotan representative Michele Bachmann called Nancy Pelosi "pathetic" for accusing the GOP of waging war against women. "There is no war on women," Bachmann said. "There's never been a war on women." (Great! We guess our work on this here website is DONE.)

But The Daily Beast's Caitlin Dickson points out that Bachmann's been waging her own personal war on women for quite some time now, and put together a list of all of the barbs she's recently thrown at famous female politicians (and one high schooler). Is Bachmann a "Mean Girl"? Let's see.

Huma Abedin

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Most recently, Bachmann suggested that the Muslim Brotherhood is influencing the federal government (obv) and that Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton aide (and sexter Anthony Weiner's wife) is behind the nefarious plan. "The [State] Department's Deputy Chief of Staff, Huma Abedin, has three family members-her late father, her mother, and her brother-connected to Muslim Brotherhood operatives and/or organizations," she explained in a letter. "Her position affords her routine access to the secretary and to policymaking." Wow, what a coincidence; I think the crazy dude who hangs out on my street corner yelling about the close, personal relationship he has with both Jesus Christ and Clark Gable told me the same thing just last week!

Even Republicans like Sen. Jon McCain and Ed Rollins, Bachmann's former campaign chief, called her out on her ridiculous claims, the latter saying "I am fully aware that she sometimes has difficulty with her facts, but this is downright vicious and reaches the late Senator Joseph McCarthy level." Oh man. Remember when this lady wanted to run for president?

Verdict: "Mean Girl" or just "Batshit Crazy?" The latter.

Michelle Obama

The first lady wants to encourage more mothers to breastfeed their children. Michelle Bachmann, who nursed all five of her own children, doesn't want to be told what to do! "You wanna talk about the nanny state, I think you just got a new definition," Bachmann told the Laura Ingraham Show. "Can you imagine if Laura Bush was doing that, out trying to pass her legislation? I think the media would have been after her." Yep, because Ms. Obama definitely passed a law proclaiming that all women must breastfeed or else be put to death.

Verdict: Pitting two women against each other for no apparent reason? Okay, that's pretty "Mean Girl" of her.

Kirsten Gillibrand

Bachmann has argued that Republicans "want women to have their own choices" even though they don't want the government to pay for female employees' birth-control coverage. When Senator Gillibrand pointed out that women can't make their own choices if they can't afford contraception, Bachmann predictably spun that around. "We want health savings accounts and the ability to be able to make their own choices in health care," Bachmann said. "You see, that's the lie that happens under ObamaCare. The president of the United States effectively becomes a health-care dictator. We want women to have their own choices, their own money."

Verdict: Not so much "Mean Girl" as predictable/confusing spin. Does Michelle Bachmann ever not manage to get the word "dictator" into every interview?

Nancy Pelosi

Bachmann once accused Pelosi of "sticking the taxpayer with her $100,000 bar tab for alcohol on the military jets that she's been flying." This was untrue.

Verdict: Come on, Michele! It would've been sooo much more "Mean Girl" of you to say Pelosi spent all that money on clothes.

Kathleen Sebelius

Bachmann attacked the secretary of Health and Human Services for saying "it's important that we have contraceptives because that prevents pregnancy, and pregnancy is more expensive to the federal government...going with that logic, according to our own Health and Human Services secretary, it isn't far-fetched to think that the president of the United States could say ‘we need to save health-care expenses-the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family. Or two babies to be born per family.' That could happen. We think it couldn't?"

Verdict: "Mean Girl" or just "Batshit Crazy?" Once again, we'll go with the latter.

Teenage Gay-Straight Alliance Representative

Dickson writes:

A representative of her high school's Gay-Straight Alliance, this young lady wanted to know whether, if elected, Bachmann's government would do more to support the LGBT community. Bachmann insisted that gay Americans have the same rights as all Americans. Then why, the ballsy teenager asked, are gay couples not allowed to marry? They are, insisted Bachmann, as long as who they marry is of the opposite gender because, "that's the law of the land." The two went back and forth for a few minutes, with the debate only ending when the teenager realized she wasn't getting anywhere.

Verdict: Homophobic. And also batshit crazy.

In conclusion: Mean Girl? Nah. Bachmann is basically an equal-rights advocate for nonsensical attacks. But it's always helpful to remember the more ridiculous statements she's made just in case she ever tries to run for president again. My personal favorite: "I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence." Riight. I think my street corner preacher friend told me that one, too.