>>> 1) NUDITY
>>>
>>> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
>>> a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
>>> stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
>>> shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 2) OPINIONS
>>>
>>> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
>>> from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
>>> are not necessarily those of his parents. "
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 3) KETCHUP
>>>
>>> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
>>>
>>> During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
>>> to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
>>> now. She's hitting the bottle."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 4) MORE NUDITY
>>>
>>> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
>>> locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
>>> ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
>>> amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
>>> little boy before?"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 5) POLICE # 1
>>>
>>> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
>>> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
>>> my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"
>>>
>>> "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.
>>>
>>> "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
>>> right?"
>>>
>>> "Yes, that's right," I told her.
>>> "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "Would you
>>> please tie my shoe?"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 6) POLICE # 2
>>>
>>> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
>>> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
>>> and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
>>> there?" he asked.
>>>
>>> "It sure is," I replied.
>>>
>>> Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
>>> Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 7) ELDERLY
>>>
>>> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
>>> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
>>> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
>>> particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
>>> staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
>>> for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
>>> whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 8) DRESS-UP
>>>
>>> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
>>> her Dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
>>> suit."
>>> "And why not, darling?"
>>>
>>> "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 9) DEATH
>>>
>>> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
>>> heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
>>>
>>> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
>>>
>>> Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
>>> box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
>>> of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
>>> prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought
>>> his
>>> Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and
>>> into the hole he goooes!"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 10) SCHOOL
>>>
>>> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
>>> wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
>>> and they won't let me talk!"
>>>
>>>
>>> 11) BIBLE
>>>
>>> A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
>>> fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
>>> Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
>>> leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
>>> found," the boy called out.
>>>
>>> "What have you got there, dear?"
>>>
>>> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
>>> "I think it's Adam's underwear."

i love reading little things like this, i have been raisng my 2-1/2 year old grandson Tyler since birth and have heard some pretty cute things come out of his mouth, but what really topped it was about 2 months ago when we were grocery shopping.
it was one of those oh oh moments that turned my face beet red.

there was a very very big woman in line behind us, she kept trying to get tyler to talk to her or smile, he just stared at her, giving her his mean look. then she came up to the cart and brushed his cheek with her hand and said, well, arent you going to say anything, one more mean look at her and he spoke as loud as he could..........
COW !!!!!! came out of his mouth.

at the moment my face reddened as ahe took a step back and said,oh my..i guess you have good eye sight.

i tried to ease things by telling her that was one of his favorite words.