Hiiii you guys!!! I am trying sooooooo hard not to gain weight this month. I’m doing my damndest not to be overwhelmed but I am not really nailing the pre planning thing. More than a few cake pops have found their way to my mouth. So what’s a girl to do?!? Be as active as humanely possible in your extremely limited off time. And that is exactly what I did. Friday afternoon I asked if I could pick up Chase from school. It’s been ages since we had a solo date…and I feel like as a second born myself, time alone with anyone is soooooo valuable. He is the sweetest boy. I came to preschool to spring him early…this shot is blurry but he is packing up his book bag like a grown up!

Then he came out and I said what do you want to do today…to which he responded…I know we probably can’t but how about Marbles…to which I responded…we can do whatever you want which ws met with a squeal!!! My parents made a big deal when we were little about taking us out on solo “dates” and I love continuing this tradition. I feel like my role in their life is to give them time. In their normal lives things are rushed and hurried and get dressed, time for bed, brush teeth, don’t do that, do your homework and all of those things are so important. So when I get them alone I try to never so no. I let them know the time frame we have and if they want to spend the entire time smelling candy then we gon be smellin some candy(this really happened one time). We drove down to Marbles and he told me all about his day and how he has Monday and Tuesday off and how he’s gonna visit GiGi…this boy loves to talk. #mytwinny Then we looked for haunted houses and he wanted me to tell him real ghost stories. Ugh I love him. Then we arrived and it was on. This kid knows what he likes!!!

He bounced all over the place…we made and delivered pizza…

Cooked some more…

Learned about money…

Got our sports and exercise on…

But mostly we posted up in the animal center…this kid is obsessed with dogs…

He named his dog Chase and told me I could have a bunny…we named her Foo Foo….

Then we ADHD’ed out hard…

After three hours of playing and exploring we were sweaty and ready to go! He got some real marbles and a can of Pringles in the gift shop and then this little cutie decided we should hoof it up 5 flights of stairs in the parking deck!!! Ugh, thanks for getting me moving more little bunny.

And what a wonderful view of the city I love…

Then it was time to pick Wyatt up..Chase did not want to go…

So I got another opportunity for some solo time. I walked (more activity points) to go pick Wyatt up from school…

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood…

And I love to surprise this kid. It was so sweet to see him so independent and walking with his fellow 8 year old buddies…

Then he realized he was bleeding profusely from the knee…eek and he started walking like sucha weirdo!

Time for Nana to save the day!

Then it was Monopoly time!!!

And finally Wyatt wanted to show y’all how he prefers to kiss me now…#ihateit

What a fun day with my little nuggies!!!! Oh how I love my family…what could make this day better and more active?! A shopping date with my favorite meatball!!!!???? Jenny picked me up and we headed to Crabtree…talk about activity points…

nothing is sweatier than trying on clothes under florescent lights! H&M here we come!!!

#findthemeatballs #landofcrotches

Then we both tried on our dreams…for me a jumpsuit, for her shorts…

#doublefail #cameltoefortheladies!? We both really struck out tonight…on to the land of age acceptance and a reality check…Forever 21! This is when it got really sweaty!

annnnnd hilarious, I feel like you can hear us laughing!!! Get ready for an ill fitting photo montage!!! Cue clubby music and the judgmental faces of America’s youth…

Obvi we are adverse to stores dressing room policies or ever being apart!!! #excusemeladies

We both really struck out but had the best time doing it!

We were pooped…time to make everyone at Pottery Barn nervous!

Then it was off to bed to prepare for my ultimate activity point of the weekend…My Fleet Feet Raleigh NoBo 5k training program. I decided to stay in the walking group but to push myself to go faster today…plus I really loved my coach Jennifer last week!

So I got bundled up and headed out…

I know it is hard to believe but I get situationally shy sometimes and the first 5 minutes of this class every week I revert to a first grader. I get nervous and feel slightly out of place. But Carrie led us in some dynamic stretching and it wasn’t quite as cold this week so I started to unshy. Then I grabbed my name tag

and we were off and on to a different course today!

We went a mile and a quarter over the Wade Ave overpass…I had never been here and it was lovely!

Almost to the halfway point!!! There were five ladies in our walking group today!!! Everyone was so nice…I love making new friends!

One of these lovely ladies was Laura, a teacher and my new walking buddy! She set a good pace and we had an awesome chat which always makes the time fly!

Before I knew it we were past the hill of death and headed straight for the finish line!

I love how this program makes me feel…I love being in nature…i love making new friends with this amazingly supportive group of people. Fleet Feet, thanks again for this opportunity. I’m learning so much about myself!!!! Can’t wait to see my walkers again! Next Saturday we have our 7th annual Bobbies Gala for Samuel Cole Salon and the Saturday after that I’ll be in NYC but the Saturday after that I’ll be back!!! Love you guys!!! Then amazingly enough I found myself at breakfast with my mom, dad Aunt Deb and Uncle Steve…Steve needed new shoes so we took him to the NOrth Raleigh Fleet Feet…obvi I can’t get enough of this place!

Now I’m really exhausted!!! Time to snuggle with Jenny and discuss all of our problems, what we would like to improve and why I’m so immature in the relationship department…more to come on that later!

What a fun filled, busy weekend…hope yours was the same!!! Love you guys…here’s some inspiration for the week!

You can feel it from a mile away but it’s ironically a TOTAL surprise. The texts stop coming in as frequently…you’re not planning future dates anymore. You actually sweetly think that YOU are going to break up with HIM because you find yourself wanting more. Then Saturday night rolls around and you get the 2014 equivalent of the Carrie Bradshaw Sex and the City post it note break up!

A fucking break up text!!! Annnnnd you are mostly surprised by how much it stings after only three months

but also relieved that its over because the distance and rejection over the last week felt reallllllly shitty. Being sober I have had oh so many revelations. One of the biggest ones was how unknowingly unsupportive I was of my girlfriends during break ups! I always had the mentality of why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you. I still feel like that, but I didn’t realize that all you want is for someone to make you feel better! And I don’t know about you, but bashing him doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t need to turn this into anger to get pumped up to move on. So to all my girlfriends and family members…my bad!!!! I really honestly just didn’t know. I thought my logic and pointing out all the other persons short comings would make you feel better but it really just makes you feel worse. It feels strange at 31 to say that this is my first time being dumped! #babysfirstheartbreak For the last decade I did anything I could to keep men at an arms length…only engaging in physical relationships. I was a drunk mess and I didn’t want to be judged or make myself vulnerable. So, when I decided to stop drinking I also decided to give a relationship a go…and I found out sooooo much. I’m the living worst communicator! Who knew the girl with the blog would suck so terribly at stating my own needs! I realized that I love being in a relationship…after the first month of longing to be single bc its what I had known forever and what was comfortable. I share my space well and I love really getting to know someone. I love going on fun dates and doing nice things for someone I care about. It was totally worth putting myself out there to learn how much I like being a part of something . So, I’m walking away with the knowledge that I am totally capable of being emotionally intimate in a real grown up relationship, I could for sure work on communicating better, I can handle being broken up with with my self esteem in tact, especially when I know it’s the best thing and ultimately I have no regrets. #grown?!

Now, having said all of that…I can’t deny that this was really sad!!!! We never even talked about it…it just eneded…through technology! But honestly I can’t think of a thing that would have made it better or less awkward. Another thing that I have learned from being sober is that I am capable of feeling more emotions that just happiness and anger. I am a very logical person when it comes to these situations. I wanted more, he wanted less or more with someone else. That can’t work. My brain knows alllll of that but with no substance abuse coping mechanism

…I spent some time on the phone with my sister and Katie bawling…saw my parents and cried some more #whoamI?!

By the way I have the greatest people in my life ON EARTH! I’m so thankful everyday. The few people who knew really wanted to comfort me and I couldn’t thank them more! #theyknowmesowell

And some time on my couch with my tissues and favorite meatball were all necessary. It was time to lick my wounds. I love my little support system. But what’s next…

“I couldn’t help but think…(did you see what I did there Nichole LuMaye!?)…What would Carrie Bradshaw do!? Retail Therapy!?

Jenny came to my happy place last week…the beach! So this week she took me to hers…the mall!!!

You guys, retail therapy, especially with your best friend is a thing and it feels amazing. First stop…MAC for a new fall lip!

Then we went to H&M and Forever 21 and we both found so many fall looks!

Then we went to Target for more clothes…and laughs #thankyuoforbeingafriendtraveleddowntheroadandbackagain #goldengirlssweatshirt #tootinycroptops #jennyisazombie

Being with this girl makes me feel so much better!!! We love trying on the ugliest stuff and who needs a dressing room am I right ladies!?! But we did find some total gems. But then what…comfort eat!?

So, we had dinner at my favorite place…Coquette! It was the most romantic dinner two little meatballs could ask for. It was also one of our two monthly cheat nights….it was heaven! Then we got a french silk blizzard from Dairy Queen #shame but it was the coldest little hug of yumminess! But most of all to feel better, I think Carrie would write about it…

Writing down how you feel is such a cathartic thing…a total release. Getting all of this out and then reading it back to yourself helps you process everything that happened and gives you such amazing perspective and peace. I know that this has very little to do with paleo or workouts with a trainer but this is a little bump in my journey that I’m not going to let spiral out. I have today to cry and then I’m moving on. It was really hard to actually feel my feelings instead of turning to something else to make them go away. It is ok to feel sad…but don’t wallow and know when to get out.

So in closing…a break up is sad but its also what is meant to be! I’m choosing to walk away with fond memories and a better knowledge of what I want in the future. Love you guys so much and thanks for the inspiration…turns out I’m a Carrie.