Is being single selfish?

When you are in love, you tend to give almost if not everything to the person you love. Even if it means not leaving something for yourself. And sometimes, you can no longer give something to your family and friends. Your family who has been with you since day 1 and who sacrificed to give you the best. Your friends who are always there for you even in their busy days.

But, things changed when you get hurt. You will start to hear from your family and friends telling you to always leave something for yourself and not to give your all. And you will come into your senses. You will then realize that they are right. While you gave everything to your girlfriend/boyfriend, you forgot to gave even a little thing for yourself and the people who truly love you. Sometimes, we need to learn the hard way. We need to have a wake up call. And most of the time, that wake up call is what we called “breakup”.

Breakup is that moment when we want to cry all our heart out because of the pain, we want to punch someone because we are angry and we feel sad and pity for our self. We become miserable because we let it happen. We let everything to be taken from us. And when s/he decided to leave us, we have nothing with us. We are empty. We are lonely. And again, we are miserable.

But, good thing we have family and friends who are still very much willing to accept us, to welcome us with an open arms, to be the shoulder where we can lean on, to hug us & let us cry, and to never leave us & feel that emptiness & loneliness. Because when we thought that we are alone because s/he left us, we will realize that we are wrong. We are not alone. We were never been alone and will never be. Because of our family and friends.

And with their help, we will be able to stand up again, to live our life the way we used to, to be happy, to be contented and to give more importance to ourselves and to them.

That is the time that we usually start to enjoy our own company, to do what we want to, to achieve what we missed because we’re busy with him/her, and so on and so forth.

Until, we get used to being all by ourselves, living & fulfilling our own dreams, being happy without depending from anyone, getting satisfied with what and who we have, and being an independent person we thought we cannot do.

Then, as days go by, people will be curious about you, your life and most especially with your love life. They will start asking you have suitors or new partner. They will tease you for being single and that you did not move on yet. As what I said, moving on takes time and should not be rushed. You have to take your time and make sure you are pretty doing well. The important thing about moving on is that you are really moving forward and will never look back again.

And I guess, this is happening to me. I am enjoying my own company. I am happy without depending it to others. I am contented with what I have and who I am with (my family and friends). I realize that I should give myself and those people who love me more time. That time I failed to give them when I was in relationship. And, I don’t know but sometimes I feel that I am becoming an introvert person who wants to be all by herself. That’s why I have solo trip.

Above all, I think having a boyfriend would mean no freedom and a hindrance to whatever plans I have in mind.

Am I being selfish? Is being single selfish?

I think no. You know why? Because wanting to love yourself more and giving more time do not qualify you to be selfish. It only means you want to give the importance and value that yourself deserves.

Besides, I love the idea of being all by myself without the need to think about other person. If I want to go out, I can. I don’t need to ask permission or inform my partner. If I want to be with someone, I don’t need to tell it to my partner and see if he is okay with it. If I want to travel, I can book my ticket immediately without thinking if he wants it too. If I want to go home, I can relax without worrying that I cannot text or call or chat because there is no signal. If my parents are in the city, I don’t need to ask him to meet them as well. No one will get mad because I cannot text. No one will get mad because I forgot to celebrate our monthsary or anniversary. I can live each day in peace because I don’t need to think if where is he or who is he with or what is he doing and so on.

If I am single, my time is all mine. I can do what I want. I can eat where I want. I can go anywhere I want. I can go home every time that I want. I can treat my parents out anytime. I can buy what I want. And I don’t have to feel guilty that someone is paying for the food I ate, the plane ticket, the trip, the movie ticket, the dessert or anything that he paid for me. I can pay it for myself though. HAHAHA!

Being single means, being independent. You are responsible of yourself and no one is or will be. You earn your own money and survive from it. You pay what you purchase from the hours you work for. You buy plane tickets, book a hotel room, eat in a restaurant, watch a movie, play in the arcade. You have to work to earn and do these things.

But, it is always up to you. You have your own priority list. You budget your money the way you want it to be.

And maybe, that’s why I am single. Because aside from the fact that I am enjoying my own company, I am busy with work, I don’t have time for boyfriend. I think having one will mean that my freedom will be gone. Dating means that I should give him my time. That I should have someone to think of, to care about and to understand. And having a boyfriend means that I can do what I want if he allows me to. Which is I don’t like. Having a boyfriend could hinder my plans in life. And besides, I don’t want to be told that I bought something or I traveled somewhere because of my boyfriend.

Hell yeah! I am earning my own money and gonna spend it for that without the help of any boyfriend.

And also, the most important thing is that I don’t like to have a boyfriend because I don’t want drama. I am too sick of crying, getting hurt and being judged by people who do not know what is really going on.

Yeah! You get it right. Whatever I went through did really hit me hard on my head and really made me wake up to the reality. That my perception about having someone in my life is different now. In a not so good way. And maybe, I am not yet ready. Not yet ready to meet someone, spend & open up my life to him, and end up getting hurt again.

But, that is life. You have happy days and lonely times. But when you feel down and want to give up, look up. Then, tell yourself that you can do better than feel miserable. You are an awesome person and that your sunshine gives light & happiness to others.

If there is one person who hurt you that much, it does not mean that everyone will do. If your ex did hurt you, it does not mean others will hurt you that way too. However, it does not mean that having no partner makes you a loser. Be in a relationship if you are ready and you think that you find the one.

But, for me! I still haven’t. Or still don’t have time for boyfriend now. Besides, no one shows some admiration and no one confesses yet. Maybe, not that attractive though. LOL! 🙂

So, remember. Loving yourself and choosing to be single is not selfish. It means that you are strong enough to live and be happy on your own without depending from others. That you are contented to what yourself can give you. That you don’t have to be insecure because yourself is more than enough to make the butterflies in your stomach fly.

TO ALL THE SINGLES OUT THERE, BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU ARE READY. NOT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE ONE OR YOU ARE BEING PRESSURED. LOVE TAKES TIME. ENJOY THE JOURNEY OF FINDING THE ONE. AND WHEN YOU MEET HIM, EMBRACE THE MOMENT & LIVE WITH IT UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

Hello Amrahs Elin. Thanks for the appreciation and for reading my post. Do you mean blessing in disguise? Yeah. 😂 Being single made you do what you wanna do without someone telling you not to. Lol. Haha