Message Boards

Topic : 01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Number of Replies: 158

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 05:01:18 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil’s guests are going about their New Year’s resolutions the wrong way! They each resolve to change something about their partner. Luca says it’s time his wife, Karen, started losing her baby weight now that two whole months have passed since she gave birth to their son. Karen says she just had her third cesarean section and Luca should cut her some slack! Then, Elena says her husband, Wade, has been holding onto his loud, stinky beast for far too long and 2007 is the year he needs to “send it to the factory.” Wade says he’s just an “old country boy” and there’s no way he’s getting rid of his favorite sidekick. Next, Britney says her sorority sister, Sharnetta, is chronically late everywhere she goes and has even started making Britney late! What is behind her punctuality problem, and will Sharnetta be able to get to the airport in time to be on the show? Plus, tune in for a chocoholic who can’t lick her habit, and a marriage proposal ultimatum. Join the discussion, tell us what you want this year!

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

all i want this year is for my husband to get help on his addictions so we can be a family. because i had to leave him because of his problems .and our son does not to be around that.our son is 16 months old and the last time he seen his daddy was 8 months ago. me and my son live in different states then his daddy.

all i want is for our son to have a better year then last year was .i'm is mother and i know what went on in his father addictions .thank god my son was to young for him to see what his father did .but the yelling his father did was enough to give the baby nightmares

Grieving

Hi Jenny2,

I came across an excellent web site www.grief.net and they give you several excellent tips on how to grieve and how children should grieve. We well intentioned people tend to say the wrong things that enable a person to work through the grieving process. It sounds like thos boy is stuck.

I loved the 6 myths they talk about that hinder us from resolving our grieving and even relationship issues. It is a great web site and their book had really really helped me.

more info

I AM REPLYING TO THE LETTER FROM GENNY2. YOU WANT YOUR STEPSON TO FACE THE FACT HIS MOM IS DEAD-THAT HE CAN'T CHANGE THAT? YOU WANT HIM TO STOP USING HER DEATH AS AN EXCUSE TO ACT BADLY; "PEOPLE ARE BORN, THEY LIVE AND THEY DIE EVERY DAY. WE MOURN FOR A SHORT TIME BUT THEN HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE." YOU FAILED TO SAY HOW OLD YOUR STEPSON WAS......WAS HIS AGE LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION INTENTIONALLY?PERHAPS; HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER AND YOU BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT LET HIM GRIEVE IN THE WAY HE HAS TO FOR HIS MOTHER????? YOU ALSO NEVER MENTIONED; IS THIS AUNT HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHERS SISTER? IF SO, THAT WOULD MAKE ALOT OF SENSE ALSO-THAT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL CLOSER TO HIS MOTHER!I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I WAS 13 WHEN MY MOTHER DIED. I WAS IN THE 9TH GRADE; SHE PASSED IN FEBRARY AND I DID NOT ATTEND SCHOOL EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A MONTH AFTER THAT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR! CONSEQUENTLY, I FAILED THAT YEAR OF COURSE-BUT BY 10TH GRADE; THEY ALLOWED ME TO DOUBLE UP ON THE 2 COURSES THAT I FAILED, AND WAS BACK UP IN THE CLASS I BELONGED IN. BOTTOM LINE IS, I CARRIED MY MOTHERS DEATH AROUND WITH ME UNTIL 2000; UNTIL I FINALLY GOT COUNSELING FOR IT!!! MY MOTHER DIED IN 1970-I CARRIED THAT FOR 30 YEARS! BECAUSE NOBODY BOTHERED TO GET ANY HELP FOR ME; NOBODY THOUGHT ENOUGH OF WHAT I MAY BE GOING THRU!!!I JUST THINK YOU ARE SO WRONG IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING, AND HOW YOU ARE HANDLING THIS POOR KID-GROW UP; AND THINK OF HIM FOR A CHANGE-INSTEAD OF HOW YOU CAN CHANGE HIM!!! INSTEAD; HELP HIM!

MY STEPSON IS 13 NOW , HE LOST HIS MOM 5 YEARS AGO. HIS GRANDMA IMMEDIATELY TRIED PUTTING HIM ON PROZAC WITH OUT HIS DADS PERMISSION, WHICH MADE HIM HYPER AND WHEN YOU DON'T ALLOW A KID TO GO OUTSIDE HYPER IS A BAD THING!!!! AND HIS MOM WOULD NOT ALLOW HIS DAD ACCESS TO HIS SON FOR 7 YEARS AND THEN WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SHE HAS STAGE 3 OVARIAN CANCER SHE DECIDES TO ALLOW HIM TO COME DOWN FOR A WEEK WHILE SHE WENT IN FOR A BIOPSY. THE WHOLE TIME NOT TELLING HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON. AS FOR LIVING WITH HIS AUNT SHE ENCOURAGES LYING ,REFUSES TO HOLD HIM ACCOUTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS AND HAS ALLOWED HIM TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER & HER HUSBAND.AND YES THE AUNT IS HIS MOMS SISTER. AS FOR COUNSELING WE HAVE GONE THROUGH 7 COUNSELORS WE DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE SO WE HAVE TO RELY ON THE FREE COUNSELING CLINIC AT THE UNIVERSITY (UCF) THIS KID TAKES EVERY HEALING TOOL THAT HE IS GIVEN AND USES IT AS A WEAPON USUALLY AGAINST ME, HIS TEACHERS, OR HIS 3 YEAR OLD SISTER, AND SOMETIMES THE DOG. YOU CAN'T FORCE THERAPY, BUT YOU CAN'T PARENT WITH GUILT EITHER!!!!

i need a woman who is a single

can any nice single woman really like to start up a true relationship with somebody who doesn't have job, hoping to return to the university anywhere in the world because he really don't have what it takes to go to the university all this while.Moreover he will be true to this woman who will take him for who he his.if you are interested email him lecywise@yahoo.com...

I am the one that i am talking about..i am a chrsitian, single and looking for sincere woman to make a soulmate.

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

what i want this year is help!!! i want my stepson to face the fact that his mom is dead, and that he could not have done anything to change that. i want for him to stop using her death as an excuse to act very badly and to realize that he still needs to do homework ,schoolwork and chores and that life does go on. people are born they live and they die every day. we mourn for a short time but then you have to live your life. the greatest way to honor someone who has passed is to live your life to the fullest every day and don't waste a minute of time because that would not only be disrespectful to the dead but to your self as well it would "cheapen" yourself . I have tried to explain this to him and he just appears to go backwards and is endangering his IB placement because he has decided he does not wish to live with his dad and myself. he wants to live with his aunt. i have been through this situation before with my own niece and it ends extraordinarily bad!!! and i can't get that through her head either she thinks that we should just turn him over to her and everything would be just dandy. except that she's on the road for months on end. like I said what I really want this year is help and I really need a lot of support that I'm not getting from anywhere!!!!!! DR. PHIL PLEASE HELP!!!!

You need to understand that grief is a very individual process, and just because you think it's time for him to move on, doesn't mean it's right for him. This boy needs to get into grief counseling ASAP to learn to cope with his mother's death. It is not unusual for grief to go on for an extended period of time, and can turn in to depression if not addressed. My sense is that you are approaching this with him incorrectly, which could serve to further damage his vulnerable state of mind. You could use some support and direction from his grief counselor as well, to develop a more empathetic and consequently, more successful approach in dealing with this.

What I want this year

I knew this couple when they used to live near me. This is typical Luca. He always would insult or make fun of Karen. Now the rest of America is going to see what I already know. He won't tke care of the kids beacuse that's Karen's job. I hope Karen's not surpised by this. He's been this way for 8 years does she really think he's going to change? Sadly their oldest son is already picking up on his father's traits.

I'd have sooooo left his butt...

I have had two kids and am now recently pregnant with our third. I did a really bad job during the first pregnancy and gained 60 pounds. I never got the weight off. When I got pregnant again, I vowed not to let that happen again and only gained 12 pounds. HUGE difference, right? I was just starting to lose weight and found out I was pregnant AGAIN. And my wonderful, amazing, supportive husband NEVER says a bad word about my weight. He even defends me when I start getting depressed about it. And I know that if he EVER said a bad word about my weight, I'd be gone. 25 pounds? That guy must be OUT OF HIS MIND!! I only WISH that was my only problem! I say great job, she's amazing! And if he thinks all those comments are funny and he's just joking, it won't be so funny when she's gone. Or how about when someone else starts telling her how incredible she looks and is...hope he knows what he's got...

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

This is the letter that my son wrote to the President about the School in North Dakota. . He has never heard anything back yet. He hopes to someday. As you see We can not seem to put it behind us when we are living in it so much. It has affected my oldest son so much that he went from being a staight A student all his life that now as a Junior in High School he has D's for the first time ever. He wants to go to College and we can not afford. All of this because of a School And a town of people that do not like outsiders. But my husband seems to love it there. This has runed my marriage. He has changed since moving there. Before living there it was always the family us against the world. Now I have kids getting sick because they are afraid of there teachers they can not talk to there teachers, I am broke because I am trying to make it on my own and I am diabled because of a back injury, I hurt I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Some days I just wish I could give up. But I knwo if I did my kids would be alone or worse left with only their Dad. And stuck in ND.

Dear Mr. President,

I want to tell you about the Burke Central School here in North Dakota. At first I was really excited to move here.Then I found out what it is like here for new kids.New kids basically get tortured.

My brother was bullied by a 17 year old; all the school did was talk to him.It is not fair when only kids that have been here a long time get away with something and the new kids get hurt.My mom tried to do something about it and they would not listen.

My mom tried to start a PTA but the school did not what her to and the next day my brother got detention just for farting.Even when he said excuse me, and he opened the window.

My mom was talking to the school board about bullies and what needed to be done.We needed to make it where if someone was bullied the kids would get detention at least.The parents needed to all get together and all talk about it.Somebody called Social Services on us and that day Mom got the phone call.Mom and I cried.Social Services did not do anything it just was scary to know someone called them on us.There was no abuse or neglect according to social services.That day I did not leave the house.

One day I was playing with a kid at school, at morning recess and I fell off the bleacher and I hurt my hand.I asked the teacher if she would call my Mom, or if I could call my Mom.I asked lots of times.I got home on the bus at 4 PM. I yelled at my Mom why didnt you come and pick me up?And then she told me she did not receive a phone call from the school.I didnt feel well.We went to the Doctors to get it checked.We found out it was broken but the bone was still in place.It was to swollen so they put on a brace.

That was the final straw; my Mom said we were going to move to Kansas to go to school.One that cares about its students.I yelled Hurray!

I liked my school in New York very much!I wish I had a time machine to make it so only my Dad moved to North Dakota.My brothers have gone to a lot of different schools before and never had any troubles before.We are not the only people having trouble here,this place needs help.Please Mr. President help the new kids in the Lignite school.I know they are not safe.

Sincerely

********** 8yrs old

wow i remember this post from a while back, am i to understand you are still having this problem? if so pack up your son and other children if you have more and move to Georgia, our system deals with bullies with the firm hand of the law, Georgia's school system really does a great job at keeping the school a safe and wonderful place in a good environment for our children to learn in, hahahah most children would say it suxs but we know most teens would rather sleep late and let the school work around there schedule, if your schools are not safe you owe it to your children to move to a safer enviorment for them to live and learn.