Driving our car on a high-speed highway and with eyes fixed on the rear-view mirror is not recommended. Although the shapes of the cars that precede us are perceptible from our eyes, focusing the gaze backward does not allow us to recognize the speed and deviation that could endanger our safety and the one of those who travels with us.

Likewise, living the present while remaining anchored with the thought of the past prevents us from concentrating on what is happening today and exposes to the risk of not living fully and consciously. When we choose to stay in the past, all our daily experiences and emotions, our actions as well as the relationships that we establish with the people next to us, are experienced as if they were blurred. In such circumstances, the present becomes a dimmed dimension, from the undefined and elusive shapes almost like those of the cars that flow in front of us on the freeway when our eye is focused on the rearview mirror.

It happens to everyone to rethink and relive moments of the past, but spending too much time on it would be like watching a movie by continuously pressing the rewind key and dwelling only on certain scenes. Ultimately, it would deprive us of the emotion of following the unfolding of the plot, with lots of surprises and twists.

This does not mean that we must overlook what happened yesterday. On the contrary, especially when we have outstanding situations with our past, it can be useful to look at the rearview mirror to park the car, stop for few moments, clearly identify our destination and get back in motion towards the desired direction with a careful look on the road in front of us.

“Only those not working, will not make mistakes”, often repeated by one of the best managers with whom I was fortunate to collaborate.

Winning mindset differs by losing mindset because when facing an error, the former does not give up but continues to pursue the success in other ways, trying strategies and taking different choices. Losers, on the other hand, give up after failure.

It is not so much a question of “never giving up”, instead it is the realization that the error is part of a larger plan, sort of an accident that can be positioned along a road where the leader sees the final goal. Those who renounce instead do not see substantially beyond the obstacle.

It is, therefore, a matter of having a scheme, a vision in which to believe so much to understand and to accept that a slowing down is part of the journey in the direction of that future scenario, which is not compromised by accidents on the way.

The vision of the leader is of such a magnitude that he has already taken into account unexpected events along with his path but does not dwell in detail of every single step that will shape his dream, instead, he focuses on something bigger, he poses questions like:

what do I want to achieve?

what pushes me in that direction?

what are the pillars to make it work?

Who gives up is instead focused just to shorter-term objectives and falls to the first obstacle precisely because the payback (whether emotional or economic) of the objective to be achieved does not justify further attempts. Being a short-term objective, without a vision, this is by its nature incomplete and therefore does not support the effort of continuing to pursue it.

Basically, what distinguishes those who are not discouraged by a failure by those who surrender, is having a vision.

I spent the first ten years of my career pursuing the perfection based on stereotypes studied at the University or on personal values ​​not yet mature, and the second decade to pursue the perfection of work outlined by the principles disseminated by companies employing me.

It happened to me that I was evaluated as too proactive, sometimes as too little. They told me I was empathic and sometimes detached. In some cases I was goal-oriented, but not in others.

Certainly my nature as a perfectionist has not helped me, and enthusiasm and discomfort have alternated over the years.

Today, at last, I have realized that we are more than seven billion inhabitants on this planet and perfection as such does not exist precisely because it is based on innumerable concepts of different perfection. We could not match all of these.

And so, as if by magic, the search for perfection has turned into the search for guidance and feedback from those who are most esteemed, professionally and not only. I therefore agree to be running towards a level of ever-increasing, though strictly subjective, perfection.

In the people I consider my models, I look for optimal behavioral rules instead of parameters of perfection. The constant comparison with these people helps me to define a perimeter of values ​​and actions within which measuring myself, from time to time. I take the space, without this being a majority, even to consider the opinions of others who, although they follow different values ​​than mine, manage to be effective in the workplace and in life.

So it happens that instead of moving in a field where the idea of ​​perfection is defined in seven billion different ways, I train my behavior in a narrower field, with the awareness of being able to express myself and interact in the world accepting thresholds of different successes.

I understood that perfection does not exist and that to pursue models of behavior that are ideal and coherent for me is the key that allows me to play on several fronts, always inwardly reinforced.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”, one of the most famous quotes attributed to Albert Einstein that I often read on the web while scrolling through social media pages. I fleetingly flee and, with a Like, I am convinced that the next time I will not fall into the trap of always doing the same things again, to behave in the same way again.

So I wonder: what drives a professional who is used to achieving goals, to fail sometimes by repeating himself in his behavioral “strategy”?

The real inner drive often comes from the need to satisfy our ego, to prove to ourselves that we have chosen the right behavior, the best for us because maybe it has already worked in the past in similar situations or because it is easy and spontaneous to put it into practice.

An attitude like this can be comfortable but does it really work in the long run? And at what cost?

What is really important is the way we realize our intentions. We often know what the right decision is, however the way we act to implement the decision may achieve different results than we expected.

How can we avoid repeating patterns and behaviors that end up bringing us to undesirable results?

We should ask ourselves if our behavior is dictated only by the need to show (to ourselves or to others) how “good” we are or, instead, if it is pushed by the intention to concretely engage our team, to encourage participation and responsibility in our collaborators, so that they feel motivated and involved in acting towards a common goal and a winning result for everyone.

If the answer is the first, our ego could lead us in an unwanted direction. In the second case, on the other hand, it will be natural to ask others for support, open a space for comparison to find the best solution that, precisely by virtue of the contribution of others, will lead us to do always different things.

After all, if we do not get the desired result, we may have not considered all the possible options.

A prestigious experience in the hospitality business, strong determination, and innate elegance distinguish this woman manager of a well-known accommodation facility just outside Milan. I talked to her about how she relates to the boss and I discovered when respect and gentle manners work.

How would you define the relationship with your boss?Initially, it was a difficult relationship. When he arrived he was very young, not very experienced and not interested in the dynamics of the new job. For my part, there was little admiration for this reason. Today the relationship is excellent. He grew up into the role, he is very present and interested, I completely re-evaluated him.

How do you tell your boss that you want to give him feedback? What kind of language do you use?Working in a very small environment and always having the opportunity to be in contact with him, when I want to give him feedback I simply ask the chance to talk to him. If I can, the communication takes place verbally otherwise I send an email or a message asking for an interview. I always express my opinions in the simplest and most direct way possible without ever being presumptuous and always trying not to override his role.

How much can you be honest and objective in giving your feedback?Honesty comes first to me, at work as in private life. There are cases in which it is more complicated to be honest but, sometimes taking a bit of latitude in the talk, I try to get to the point.

What do you do in front of a negative reaction from your boss?Each of us is free to express our thoughts, the important thing is to never disrespect anyone. Therefore, if his disappointment remains polite and correct, I listen to his motivations and try to understand his point of view, trying respectfully to make him understand mine, otherwise, I pull back momentarily. I do not insist because I think it is not possible to talk to those who do not want to listen.

What do you do when you’re not sure if you want to receive feedback on a subject that is particularly sensitive to you?I have a lot of patience and I use kind methods to find a way to at least have him listen to me.

What strategy do you use to get better behaviors on your part?No particular strategy. I adapt to his behavior. If he wants to joke, I participate in the fun. If he wants to stay on his own, I don’t show around. I always keep a smile and a polite attitude that often leads him to blunt some rigid or nervous attitudes.

What do you appreciate about his leadership style?He is a very serious and sincere person and has an impeccable style. He knows how to be very kind but also strong and decisive if necessary.

What’s your favorite thing about your boss?His ability to never lose clarity even in particularly stressful and confusing situations.

Have you learned more about his strengths or weaknesses?I am convinced that you always learn from other people. Often living with the defects of those close to us we can test sides of our character that normally we could not know.

What would you change?I think I would not change anything, we are all different and we have to accept ourselves for what we are. The day when I won’t stand my job environment, I think I would look for a new job.

How did you support yourself in your professional growth?Giving me maximum trust and possibility of action, leaving me free to operate independently.

Do you think you are doing your best to build a balanced relationship with your boss?I really think so. I always try to improve my relationships with those around me. I am sure that time is the first thing to help and that, by questioning each other, more and more meeting points can be found.

My Sunday morning was made special by Rino Tommasi who, on television, commented on the most beautiful tennis match of the week. My passion for tennis was at the beginning, but he managed to entertain me with his comments on the most exciting exchanges.

Years later I had a clear concept that I remember well every time I try to play tennis, like every time it happens to talk about competitors and market strategies: never stay in no man’s land.

Rino Tommasi called “the no man’s land” that field space close to the service line. The trajectory of the balls became impregnable when the player made the ball bounce thereabout, putting in serious difficulty the opponent who was in that area. The tennis player who stopped or was caught in that area could not be found at the net or at the end of the court, and its game strategy became uncertain. If the tennis player who prefers to play“at the net” is the one who attacks, and the player who prefers a game “at the bottom of the court” is the one who defends, instead those remaining in “no man’s land” have an indefinite strategy of play that can be fragile.

Similarly, an organization opposed by a competitor may choose to respond, attacking in turn, or may favor more conservative actions by defending itself. It is not certain that actions will lead to success, nor that those who attack or those who defend themselves in tennis will certainly score the point. What is certain is that there will at least be an opportunity to play to the point.

A competitor who passes to action always produces, in some way, a change in the dimensions and dynamics of the market. As a consequence, the organization can find itself in a fragile market area, in a new area of the field in which the gaming strategy used up to that moment runs the risk of not working anymore. The choice to remain immobile will not bring any possibility of realizing a point, making the organization potentially more insecure, in other words, would place it in the “no man’s land”.

Defense or attack, not only in the business strategy. What choice are we willing to do to face the cases that life reserves in our daily life?

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who had an intuition. From that brilliant idea was born a successful App that today is a deeply rooted reality and in full evolution. Interview with Sara Piccinini, wife of Federico Peluso and founder of Soccerpass, the social network of professional football players.

Below is the abstract:

What is your personal definition of leadership?An extremely credible person, with a great communication skills and who produces effects through his actions.

What do you think of the much-discussed relationship between women and leadership in the business world?By nature, women have a great power to scale every area and business sector. On the other hand, organizing the family doesn’t it mean responding to needs of a small company? Seriously, I think women have a great talent for work organization and problem-solving in their DNA. This helps a lot at work.

What prevents women, even today, from rising to top management, to overcome the “glass ceiling” and the obstacles that stop the evolution of their career?Women have just to break old stereotypes. Both those who have of themselves and those that others have of women.

Why in Italy, as in other European countries, have been issued laws to balance the presence of women and men driving companies?To undermine this obsolete attitude that limits the growth of our country. I admire the presence of strong female models for example in international politics. Women who have established themselves with different roles like the German prime minister or the former American first lady, and who can be an example for many other women in Italy too.

“Give women appropriate opportunities and they can do everything” – said Oscar Wilde, what do you think?I’m perfectly in agreement with it. I know very determined women who can combine determination with strong listening and collaboration skills. Men are more plagiarists, perhaps they have greater ability to form a group while women are more competitive towards other women but in the end, we are more productive and know how to run alone.

Businesswoman, mother, and wife. How do you manage to live these roles? Structuring time to match everyone’s needs: work, husband, and children. We need a lot of organization, assisted by the help of technology. In this regard, I think of those little tricks that help me to better organize my day as the possibility of receiving the shopping directly at home and the use of the robot vacuum cleaner (she smiles, ed.).

What was the biggest challenge you faced in affirming your company?The economic funding. Unfortunately, start-ups in Italy are not adequately evaluated and taken into consideration. Very few aid, almost unattainable. Very backward and confusing bureaucratic systems, difficult online accessibility, European and Regional calls for tender with little publicity. Let’s say that living in a country that does not believe in ideas does not help much.

The best choice you’ve made?Telling my husband (Federico Peluso, ed.) about the project I had in mind.

Is there anything you would not want to relive your role as a leader?The support of others is important to me. Finding someone who believes in our intuitions makes us stronger. Nothing is easy, there can be so many fabulous people and many others not. An episode that has morally destroyed me was the unfair behavior of one of my former collaborators because in that case there was a strong emotional bond. Had it not been for this last aspect, that episode would have been simply one of the many questions to be solved.

Based on which criteria do you select the team of people you work with?Professionalism and will to make things happen. I believe that in Italy people are convinced that work is not there and therefore they are discouraged at the start. It’s certainly not easy but when you want to make things happen, ideas come to life.

What makes your company unique?Innovation. In football, there is not a dedicated social network, a product of this kind.

Where do you want to bring Soccerpass? What is the strategic evolution?Develop abroad and at the same time develop in the events sector to give greater tangibility to the digital platform and promote situations of meeting between companies, consumers, and the media. A nice project for 2018. We’ll see how things will go!