What do you look for in your leaders? What are the most compelling attributes that are needed and yearned for in today’s effective leaders? What do you want to see so you can believe in him or her?

No longer willing to simply nod and agree?

No longer simply be a by-standers without speaking up?

No longer behave like a small child needing care-taking?

The world is demanding that we all demand and also become powerful leaders. Whether its leading an organization, a team, a family, leadership is an art and a craft for all of us to master.

Here are 3 of the most important areas for any leader to address in this age of speed and social media responses.

Think of it this way, there’s nowhere to hide. And even more, why would you want to hide in a corner? Master the three “C’s” and take your place in today’s ever- changing world.

Confidence: What happens when you are around someone who has that “Can Do” attitude?

Does it make you step up with more belief in yourself? Does it make you take risks that look tough? Do you hear the call to action loud and clear?

One of my leadership heroes is a man, small in stature and quiet of voice.

Yet, Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist, is a man of great confidence and belief in himself and what he teaches. During the Viet Nam War when people were sparked to violence and there were dark forces all around he led marches in Manhattan that were slow and thoughtful walks, not rabble- rousing infernos. When asked if he was for the north or the south he said in his calm, gentle voice, “I am for the middle.”

2. Communication: What does it take to be clear and concise when you speak?

How can you motivate others to do their best? How able are you to share information and not play games to make others feel insecure and confused? Leaders who use words effectively and know what needs to be said are in short supply.

Too many of today’s leaders either read from a monitor and simply spill out the words of others or get too into the grove of talking too much from an ego place about themselves.

An important model of deft communication was President John F. Kennedy. He had a skill of saying just enough to cause people to envision a better world and challenged us to go to the moon. And we did!

3. Character: What does it take to be self-aware?

How can you consider the welfare of others along with your own personal needs? When can you stand up and do the right thing rather than appeal to the crowd and be a people pleaser?

It takes character to consider long term goals and not simply get the goodies from short term results.

Abraham Lincoln showed depth of character through one of the worst times in American history. He called together his team of rivals to find ways to go beyond the divineness of the day and point a way to new beginnings. Not easy with so many contentious issues to be considered.

These three and a bonus (courage) are key to what it means to be an effective leader of purpose.

What other attributes would you add to this list, and it doesn’t have to be a word that begins with C. It just needs to be the opposite of NOT SEE!

The patterns of the past are haunting us these days. Good leadership development requires us to read the signs of the times and lead people to a better and more positive place.

How to lead in uncertain times is the highest form of leadership.

The question is how to create an atmosphere where there can be a dialogue rather than resort to fist fighting?

How do we move from pistols to peace-tools? Figuratively with words or physically with objects.

When there are those who choose to “Not See” any point of view but their own, who condemn and disparage others, the natural tendency is to go to the other extreme. The desire is to prove how wrong they are. Then we stay lost in the realm of right and wrong, good and bad, yes and no.

Before you get upset and stop reading, please hear me: Understanding is NOT excusing.

If we are to make progress in the time of social media where information leaps around the world in minutes we are going to require a better way of communicating with each other.

“Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing more difficult than understanding him.” A quote from Russian author Dostoevsky gives us pause to ask, “Why bother?”

Isn’t it easier to put someone in jail, or fire them at work and simply move on?

Here’s the challenge.

What other ways we can look at difficult situations and develop methods of discussion, to include those we see as “the enemy” at work, in our communities, on our planet? What’s in the way of retooling our thinking to go upstream for more effective answers?

It’s called a paradigm shift.

The temptation is to attack the symptoms rather than to create change at a more fundamental level.

A Story “Saving Drowning Kids.”

The fishermen at the river’s edge heard a little boy calling for help in the rushing water. Someone jumped in to save him. In a few minutes, there were two more children calling for help. And soon there followed more youngsters.One man left the group and there were taunts of disdain, how could he leave when they could save the children.

An hour later he returned and when the anger finally abated he said “Someone had to find out why the children were in the river in the first place. Yes, we saved a dozen, who knows if this would have continued day after day.”

“So, I went upstream and found the kids crossing an old rickety bridge with rotting planks that were falling out. I stopped the children and had someone from town come to replace the planks.”

Going up river means looking at pre-existing conditions and leading in a way that will inspire rather than inflame.

There has been a great deal of research about the rise of the Nazi movement in Germany and many factors were involved. One that has always haunted me is that so many of the thugs, yes thugs (I said that understanding is not excusing) who brutalized others came from families where they were either physically or verbally abused as children, or there was a trauma such as a suicide or other type of abandonment by parents.

What would make someone hate others “just because?”

Go upriver by researching what you can about the naysayers in your midst. Learn about their lives, their stories and then begin to help find better ways of resolving the tough issues

Here is a list of important questions for you to ask as you take the reins of leadership to help find more effective ways to solve difficult work and community problems.

Who said it? It is someone you know, a person in authority or some amorphous “he said, they said.”

What did they say? What are the facts or is it just a strong of slogans and empty rhetoric.

Where did they say it? Was this a public or private meeting. Who else was in the room.

When did they say it? Was the discussion with you before, during or after a difficult meeting.

Why did they say it? Was this said to provoke you, make them look good, become your ally.

How did they say it? What was the tonality? Was it friendly, argumentative, secretive? Loud or quiet.

From the day you were born, even before conception, there are beliefs and stereotypes that are attached to gender.

Let’s consider the color continuum for gender. Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. Right? Where did this begin? Who decided which colors belong to which gender?

Here is a brief trip through history. In the 1800’s all babies, male and female, wore white “dresses” in infancy. Thus, babies were gender neutral. These sacks were easy for changing diapers and to bleach when they became dirty.

Then around the 1920’s Western parents began dressing the little ones in colors. Pink was associated with boys. Yes, you heard me, boys. Here is the rationale: red is a bold and brave color and too strong for children so, boys got the watered-down version…pink.

Blue, a more subdued color was for girls. And by the way, blue was associated with the Virgin Mary, thus a color of purity. Just saying!

The morning after the sweat lodge we sat in a circle for our farewell ceremony. Bleary eyed in the predawn cold, something looked and felt different.

Was it just me?

I asked others who had joined our Leadership in Action program. The program was designed as a “pattern interrupt,” to leave, even briefly, from our daily ways of living and experience another cultural perspective.

The idea behind this type of adventure is to continue to move from the information age to the knowledge era. The more you know and understand systems thinking, how everything is connected, the better you can guide the direction of your life and make positive impact on those you lead. This trip was to learn new skills from Native American teachers and bring the indigenous wisdom back to the workplace.

There was no claim to who would win the election or who they would bring with them. Just a less than 140-characters of information, to think about.

I thought about how this most vital job, of President of the United States, is a great place to analyze the model of how businesses, small and large are so similar. Also, the fact that we all bring baggage from our own history into the work place.

The whole concept of “office politics” is about positioning yourself to be in the right place, at the right time. It’s about favoritism and gossip, to act out back biting and betrayal, to create hurt, fear, or hopes and possibilities.

It’s about the baggage from the past and how it plays into the present time.

We live in a time of sizzle and dazzle, quips and giggles. It’s not a time to do deep dives into any subject.

How do I know?

I’ve fool-hardheartedly been following the Presidential election soaps on television and twitter.

I’ve been wondering why and when we turned from substance to slander and superficiality.

I want someone to blame. I want something to blame.

Ah, technology did it. Or maybe it’s because we have free reign to get guns and shoot them whenever we want. I know, it’s because we did not build enough walls to keep “them out” or to keep “those in.”

I got it!

It’s my parents fault. They were too busy making a living to really live. Busy, busy, busy all the time. Ah, that’s how I learned that life is about stuffing ourselves with stuff.

And that leads me to the social narcissism I see that is clogging our relationship system today.

I have a warning: STOP and listen. STOP and question. STOP and say NO.

COMING SOON!

30 minutes can change your life…

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