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And holy winter solstice-how the hell is it December already? That time again to get in gear for all of your favorite, pagan holidays…and to let your boss know what religious background you are in order to get that holiday vaca and time off from work!

As you know and probably hate, Jews like me celebrate Hanukah for eight days and get a gift for each day. So we require A LOT of time off. And yeah the holiday seems to fall on different days each year, but that’s only because we all meet up and decide when it would be the most inconvenient days to celebrate for everyone around us that isn’t Jewish. But don’t be jealous or mad, we always get shitty gifts while everyone else is waking up to brand new Xboxes. That’s our thing-you can’t have it all can ya…

But whether you light candles, celebrate Jesus’ birthday, read some hadith about Ramadan, or give your evil kids to the Krampus, December gives us a lot of parties, food, and the biggest night of drinking-New Year’s Eve. And with the good comes the bad-the “All I Want for Xmas is You” performance that is gay law mandatory for every drag show through the entire month (ahem NAVAYA SHAY-but congrats on becoming Miss Tabu 2016!). But the good is that I’m back from Dragcation and back to working’ dem streets and bars again-and so are a whole bunch of other dragons! So here’s a list of the buzz and what’s a happenin’ for December! Yep a Jesus Christ Superstar reference-it’s the holidays! Make it nice and come see the tree!

Dec. 3rd-Code Red 7pm @ The Theater of Living Arts
In 2008, I met a timid (and thin haha), little boy who was hired to be my backup dancer for Shampoo’s Boy Bar. We quickly bonded and he became one of my gay children. Now he has grown into one of the city’s most beloved drag queens and a powerhouse in the lgbt fundraising community-the diva known as Cherry Pop.

Last night, Cherry and Brandon Bartlieb–the producers of what has grown into one of the biggest charity events of the year–put on the 4th annual Code Red event in which themselves and many, many fabulous queens from across the local land came together and raised $16, 000 (surpassing their goal of $10,000) for Mazzoni Center and AIDS Fund!

You betta werk, ladies! Already can’t wait to see what next year will bring!

Before last night’s earth shattering event, I had a few minutes to chat with Cherry Pop and get the scoop on it all, which you can absolutely revel in right here on PhillyDragMafia.com….

Now, let’s get ready to ho, ho, ho it up to this dazzling display of December local drag shenanigans served up by yours truly…

Dec. 4-Miss Icandy Pageant at 8pm at Icandy Come and play with me and Miss Icandy 2016 Aloe Vera as we take the crown off her head and put the title of Miss Icandy onto a new diva who will represent Icandy in 2017 and get to march with the Miss Fancy Brigade on New Year’s Day! Make it gay! Icandy-254 S. 12th St.; (267) 324-3500

Dec. 7-Release party for the Morris Animal Refuge’s Fierce and Furry 2017 Calendar at 6pm @ Tabu
Twelve of the gayborhood’s favorite leading ladies have joined up with Morris Animal Refuge to create a fundraising calendar, “Fierce & Furry”! And most of us shaved for the photoshoot so you will hopefully be able to tell the queens from the adoptable furry babies in this GAYMAYZING calendar! Come by and grab a copy before they sell out! Makes a great ChrismaKwanzaHanukah gift for gays of all ages! Tabu-200 S 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 9-Fish Tank at 9pm @ Tabu
Ariel Versace has cast her fish net out and pulled in a great group of fishy queens for this month’s holiday show-Anita Manhattan, Roxi Starr, Chasity St. Cartier, and Pheadra Phaded all parade around the tank this month!Tabu-200 S 12th St,; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 11-Golden Gurlz Live at 7pm @ Tabu
Golden Gurlz returns to Tabu after two sold out shows! This month, catch the Gurlz holiday episode-AND-a murder mystery episode-with guest star Angela Landsbury as Jessica Fletcher! (*Note: Angela Landsbury will not be there but we have the next best thing…) The murder mystery episode in very interactive so get seats up close to the stage if you wanna be a part of the show! My gay galpals Pissi Myles, Connor Michalchuk, Bella Cane, Aeryanah Von Moi, and Anne Allen return to reprise their famous roles (and then some) in this improv production of some of the Golden Gurlz funniest moments. Tabu-200 S 12th St,; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 15-Xmas Kinky Quizzo at 10:30pm @ Valanni!
My big, gay ass gets extra kinky hosting a night of Kinky Quizzo. What makes it kinky and holiday? You should see what I do with the drinks and appetizers before they reach your table…Come anyway-and win some amazing kinky gifts to make any Scrooge loosen up this holiday season! Valanni-1229 Spruce St, (215) 790-9494

Dec. 16-Very Sherry Xmas at 7pm @ Tabu!
This show was a big one on my holiday list-I had to put out early for Santa this year-and ALL HIS DWARVES. It was actually pretty fun! But who doesn’t want to see two gay Jews perform holiday material? Iconic, drag legend Sherry Vine joins myself, Ariel Versace, and comedienne extraordinaire Martha Salzman-Gay and Di the Comedian Hargrove. (You will want to see Di play Bill Cosby as we sing our rendition of “Baby it’s Cold Outside…”) Catch Sherry Vine on gaySVTV on YouTube for her collection of HIGH-larious videos and classics such as “Shit My Pants!” (Bad Romance parody). If you’re a cheap ass like myself and have Hulu instead of cable, check out her cable show, “She’s Living for this!”

For the first time in the twenty years or so I have known Miss Vine, I was able to distract her and wrench the cock out of her mouth for a brief period of time, and ask her a few questions. Here’s what she had to say until she overpowered me and went back to work…

BL:You have had a long and GAYmayzing drag career spanning centuries! As one of the original NYC premier queens, what’s the secret to keeping up with the two million new drag queens that have flooded the market since drag race began?Sherry: LOL! Yes, back during the Ming Dynasty it was easier to draw a crowd – less competition! But now that anyone can put on a wig and be a drag star lol, But I just keep doing what i do and hope people want to see it. I’ve always been a hard worker and I still love it soooo much!!

BL:Parodies seem to be your forte-do the lyrics just flow naturally to you? What’s your process as to which parodies go to your stage performance rather than the ones that you produce into one of your infamous YouTube videos?Sherry: I have literally been writing parodies my entire life – even before Sherry Vine. I used to rewrite the songs to the musicals we were doing in high school. So I guess it does come naturally and I’m demented. lol. Some parodies come out very easily and I can write one in 3 minutes. But sometimes it can take days or weeks! If it’s a song that’s a big hit and I want to write a parody it can be involved. Especially a rap song like my new Nicki Minaj parody of Hey Mama – it’s a lot of words and rhyming. And trust me, for everyone that’s a “hit” there are 10 that flop!! Lol. I audition a lot of new material at my weekly show in NYC so when people see me out of town, like Philly, they luckily get the ones that have passed inspection!

BL:Speaking of videos, tell the kids about SVTV and how that came about?Sherry: gaySVTVworld is the brainchild of me and my creative business partner Josh Rosenzweig. We have worked together for over 20 years. He was the director of our theatre company Theatre Couture and he produced/directed my variety show She’s Living For This on Here TV. We wanted to create more content that was all LGBTQ and drag and own 100% of it so we re-branded my YouTube channel. It’s amazing to me how many people work so hard on it and all the content is free. It’s the gay Netflix but free! lol. Our next big project is Oy To The World – 8 new music parody videos by 8 different directors, one for each night of Hanukkah!BL:I see “She’s Living For This!” on Hulu-any chance of us seeing more Sherry Vine coming back to cable?Sherry: Honestly, that show was my all time life-long dream come true! We definitely want to do something like that next year!! So many people have been commenting on it and seeing it on Hulu – praise goddess! Tabu, 200 South 12th St,

Dec. 17-Therapy Not Included at 9pm/Front Street Dive
Brought to you by Sinnamon’s Spice Rac and hosted by Mistor Fahrenheit, this night of burlesque is a “burlesque show of ruined childhoods”. Ugh, I hear ya sister! I couldn’t even speak when they cancelled “Dancin on Air” and “Punky Brewster’. You can’t even find those on Amazon!Front Street Dive-10 S Front St.

Dec. 21-VERA Xmas Show at 9pm at VERA!
VERA has become a hot showcase for the queens over in Jersey! The now infamous, monthly event is having its first holiday show-so show some holiday spirit by drinking some holiday spirits, and expect a fist bump or two with some high high by both the queens and the audience members. Hey-it’s Cherry Hill-whaddaya expect? Hosted by Ariel Versace, with performances by Maria Top Catt, Chasity St. Cartier, and meeee Brittany Lynn! Sit on our laps and tell us what ya want in your stocking this year 2310 Marlton Pike W, Cherry Hill, NJ.; (856) 486-1001

Dec. 24-The Nondenominational Super Fun HoliGAY Show! At 9pm @ Tabu!
The Gayborhood’s gayest gaggle of gays gather together to celebrate all the weirdness of the HoliGays. Join Aurora Whorealis, Eric Jaffe, and Abowla Dix and they celebrate ALL the holidays-just without the annoying family and extravagant gift giving. Well I’m sure Aurora has some things she can pass onto you-shes the gift that keeps on giving. You may need a shot after…of penicillin. But it’s fine because there’s no cover! So come on out and play and make it nice! Tabu, 200 South 12th Street, (215)

Well that’s all for now kids-everyone have a safe and blessed holiGAY. Make it nice and come see my tree! It’s at Macy’s on the third floor…