How to Tell Where a driver is From

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Toronto.

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California.
With gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
Saskatchewan, but driving in Montreal.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk
to someone in back seat: Italy.

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake
:Vancouver.

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet
being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag
out the window: Red Deer male.

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily
at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind
curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Alberta country
male.

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles
of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep
the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the
car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove
compartment: Texas female.