Searching for meaning in life

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It is with a great deal of discomfort and uneasiness that I have managed to take an honest account of my life. I noticed a recurring thought or theme that keeps popping up; the utter pointlessness of it all and my inability to accept it as such. At this stage I have what seems to be an ambivalent attitude towards life. I am afraid I have climbed out of one ditch just to fall into another.