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Friday, 27 September 2013

When God Wants to Tell You Something ~ Part 1

Recently I had a dilemma. It was an occasion where I had to make a choice and either option would have been a good option, but which option was the right option?

I was randomly chatting to a member of staff in New Look and it basically culminated in her practically guaranteeing me a part-time job. Ooooh, 50% discount in New Look? Guaranteed income to top up Jon's earnings (which we really need!)? Flexible hours? All seems like a good idea, right?

But here's the dilemma.

I'm in the process of building a freelance editing career. It's early days but I've already got some work and I'm confident I could get more but.... it's scary. There's no guarantees. I have to become self employed, deal with tax returns, and anything I do could potentially cause us to lose the few state benefits that we receive so it really needs to be worth it.

Which is why a nice little part time job was an attractive prospect. At first I was keen. Even an eight hour contract would garner me some cheap new clothes, an opportunity to meet new people and I could always do overtime if we were ever short on cash.

But then I started to think. Here I am, being a new mum, pastoring a church, making some great new friends and trying to build a freelance career. Throw part time work into the mix and surely something would have to give? And the first thing to suffer would definitely be the freelancing ~ after all, it's the thing that no one else is involved in.

I was torn. So, being a Christian, I prayed God, tell me what to do.

After which a series of events made it clear what the right decision was:

1. I had mindlessly thrown my dilemma out into the Twittersphere, not really wanting or expecting a response. But a good, very wise, real life friend tweeted me back {paraphrased}:

"Don't look back in 10 years and realise you've wasted time building someone else's dream. Stick to your guns and build your own dream now. You won't regret it."

2. Our whole family was struck down with colds last weekend so we were absent from church. However, on bemoaning my dilemma to a friend afterwards she summarised the sermon for me into two points, saying that everything that was said was for me and my situation:

The root of all evil is not money, but the love of money.

HOWEVER, God has given you gifts. Use them to make money so you can sow that resource back into the Kingdom (ie. use it for good). You are blessed to be a blessing.

3. I was watching How I Met Your Mother. Well, I wasn't really watching it, it was on while I was folding laundry and playing with Ruby. But through all the distraction, one line jumped out at me. It was the episode where Ted sets up his own architecture firm but spends all his time procrastinating rather than calling clients and pitching for work. He then explained his behaviour to Robyn {paraphrased}:

"I guess the longer I put off starting my own firm, the longer it can remain a dream. If I actually do it, then it might stop being a dream and begin to be just another thing I've failed at."

BOOM!

I then realised that was exactly what I was doing. I have been procrastinating. Picking up bits of work here and there, thinking that one day I could make a real go of it, but never actually getting around to doing it properly. And why? Because it's the dream! If I try then I could fail.

I know that if I get a job in New Look I would be comfortable, I would even enjoy it, I would earn enough money to keep us afloat.

But it's not the dream.

The dream is still out there.

It hasn't been achieved.

There's still so much to do.

And it's scary.

BUT, it's limitless. I can be whatever I want to be. I can set my own hours. I can do as much or as little as I want, depending on our circumstances. With the right projects, I can earn in one week what I would earn in New Look part time per month.

Really, it's a no brainer! Just a scary, nothing's guaranteed no-brainer.

But when all these things happened over the course of one weekend, you could call it coincidence. But I have a hunch that Someone wanted to tell me something important. And so my decision is made, and I'm more determined than ever to make it a success because I am confident that, however scary, it is the right decision.

***

I don't often blog about my faith but I am often asked how I know God is speaking to me, which is quite hard to explain but when you have practical examples it makes much more sense. This is just one practical example. I have one more from this week so I think I will blog about that too. I hope that in some small way it might encourage you, boost your own faith, or help you to understand my own.