Since Edgar Allan Poe’s birthday was a week ago, I want to quickly share with you a different version of the first two stanzas of the poem ‘The Raven’ that I wrote in an attempt to give the author his happy ending:

Once upon a morning dreamy, while I pondered, awake and cheery,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of exciting lore-
While I nodded, nearly clapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping- rapping at my chamber door.
“‘Tis some friend,” I muttered, “knocking on my chamber door-
Oh, what could be more?”

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the brisk September,
And each separate burning ember brought its warmth upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished no dusk; pleasantly I ate some rusk,
From the woods me thought to gather musk- musk for the beautiful Lenore-
For the rare and the radiant maiden whom the birds name Lenore-
Singing it for evermore.

I have some sad news for you. I am not going to be writing in this blog anymore, or in any other for that matter. Lately I became busy and rarely have time to sit and write. Also, I am in a stage where I am questioning everything in my life, my beliefs, my priorities, my future…etc. I don’t think I can write advice or articles about personal growth and self-awareness when my life is upside down; I believe that this would be some sort of hypocrisy.

Starting a blog on WordPress was a great idea. I really enjoyed writing in this blog. It was liberating to write something from your own experiences and share it with others. I hope that I made a difference to the people who read this blog, even if it was just one person.

I would like to thank all my followers and other writers who interacted with me on this site. You were all great and made this an even more delightful experience. I will still visit WordPress and read blog posts by you guys (I will also check my blog email if anyone wants to contact me).

Finally, I want you to know that I will not stop writing. To me writing is like food and air: it’s a necessity. Maybe I won’t be publishing anything on WordPress, but I will still be doing the thing I enjoy.

Few days ago my brother was showing me some old family photos. While he was flipping through them I stopped him when I saw a photo that shocked me. It was a photo of me three years ago. The first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw it was “I used to look like that?!”. I think you know what I am talking about. It was a photo of me before I lost the weight.

Back then when I was obese I didn’t like my picture taken. After I lost the weight I was confident enough to pose to cameras. I bought a camera on my 20th birthday and I took plenty of photos, but in all of them I was in a healthy shape. I got used to my body like that and that’s why I was shocked when I saw the obese me in that old photo.

Seeing myself changed a lot, inside and outside, after I lost weight made me feel proud that I made the decision of living a healthy life. It was also a reminder of how I used to look and feel back then, and a motivation to keep moving forward and not fall back to the old unhealthy habits. So to all of you who wants to start this journey I suggest you take before and after photos. Being able to see your progress in front of you will push you further towards your weight loss goal.

Since I was a teenager I’ve condemned everything around me. In high school I hated my teachers, I hated some of my school mates, and I hated the school itself. Although I had a large group of friends and I had lots of fun, I couldn’t wait to graduate and leave that place to start fresh in another country. When I joined college the same thing happened. At first I was excited about the whole experience, but gradually I started to go back to criticizing my condition.

I don’t know why I do that; maybe it is the perfectionist in me that I am trying to get rid of. I’ve always wanted to be somewhere else, with other people, and living a “cooler” life. It doesn’t matter where I go or who I am with, I will be able to find a way to hate it. Maybe “hate” is a strong word, but I was not satisfied. I can’t say that I am 100% content with my life right now, but at least I am trying to adapt.

Currently I am in grad school to get my master’s degree and I am also involved in a startup company. I know that this is not exactly what I want to be doing right now, but this is the only thing I can do. I am in a weird position; being a grad student and working on launching my friend’s company, it is kind of hard to explain to others your financial situation.

Sometimes before I go to sleep I think about how I am not really living the life I wanted. But, I remember that I am simply stuck in this and things aren’t going to change any time soon, so why not make the most out of where I am right now? Why not get a master’s degree and work in the company until I make enough money to pursue my dreams? I think it’s okay since I am still 21. Our twenties is the time when we’re supposed to try different things and get to know ourselves better.

So, I promised myself not to say anything negative again about my current circumstances and just be grateful that at least I am doing something instead of being idle. Besides that I don’t have to give up on who I am and forget what I like to do. I can still write poetry and work on my first book along with doing all the other stuff. What I want to say is that if life forces us to temporary follow a different path we have to make the most out of it while staying true to ourselves and not forgetting who we are in the process.

2014 was definitely the weirdest year of my life. But I am thankful of the fact that I keep a journal, and by reading it I was able to remember what I learned and reflect on all that happened. Here are the seven lessons I learned in 2014:

Never stop learning new things: Whether you want to learn a language, start a project, or pick a new hobby learning something new is important for you. It keeps your mind preoccupied and it helps you grow as a person.

Lower your expectations: I know this sounds horrible and pessimistic, but it is actually (as I believe) one of the keys to happiness. Be honest with yourself, if we expect people around us to be saints and everything in our lives to go smoothly we will end up with a huge disappointment, and probably with depression too. I am not asking you to be negative but be a realist. Being realistic is a relative matter, it depends on your circumstances and how you live your life.

Befriend yourself first: if you want to be self-confident and have a great social life, you have to be friends with yourself first before you make friends with others. You need to get to know yourself better in order to know what you want in life. It’s okay if you go out alone to movies or have a cup of coffee by yourself.

Never say no to opportunities: always say yes to trying new things and having new experiences. At the end of the day what we remember is the good memories and we learn from the bad ones, but if we don’t take chances we won’t have either.

It’s not wrong to aim for the stars: it’s not a sin to want to live to your full potential and create a better life for yourself. Sometimes the people around you will be discouraging, but you’re the only one who knows how you should be living your life.

If you want to get something right you better do it yourself: it’s a simple rule to follow in your life; if you want something to be done perfectly and exactly the way you want it just do it yourself. There are certain things in life that you can’t rely on others to do for you.

When the glass is half empty it is also half full: sometimes you think that you’re having the worst time of your life, and that’s probably because you’re only looking at the “dim side”. After I read my journal I realized that I actually had more fun in 2014 than in any other year, which is weird because I thought I was having the worst year of my life. I was focusing on the negative things and didn’t see that I learned a lot and had a great time.