chronicle

I've already made all the jokes I can think of about thinking Ryan Reynolds is hot and I've also already made the joke about how I've made all the jokes so I'm pretty much out of material here. Let's just get to the point then and talk about how he's in talks to play the lead in a new film titled "Voices". The film is a dark comedy about a factory worker who accidentally kills a woman and begins to hear voices as he tries to cover it up. Then let's talk about those two pools of wonderment he calls eyes.

"Snow White and the Huntsman" director Rupert Sanders is apparently in talks to direct Tom Cruise in a dark new version of Van Helsing. I know people on the intertubes blow things out of proportion a lot of the time with crap like this but I'm 99% sure my eyes will shoot blood if and when I'm forced to watch this.

Troubling news from the "Chronicle" camp. It looks like the smart folks over at Fox have shot down Max Landis' script for the sequel because they just want the same film as the first. What Fox isn't taking into account is the first film wasn't very good. And that whiny kid's face was all annoying when he started tossing around cop cars and crap. And the first film wasn't that good.

Yes they're making a "ThanksKilling 3" and no there wasn't a "ThanksKilling 2" and yes the reason for that is 100% confusing. There's something about the killer turkey trying to find a copy of the second movie... which never actually existed... and then a lot of puppets die or something. I'm just lost.

Steve Watson's book "Before I Go to Sleep", a tale of a woman who's suffering from a injury that has left her without the power to save new memories for two decades, has been in the big screen adaptation bucket for a while now without much action. But today my friends, oh today we have news that Nicole Kidman is in talks to take on the lead role in the film. So I guess that's still not much momentum there. In talks could be she went out to dinner, got drunk and said something like "Hey! I want to play the lead in a movie that sounds a lot like 'Memento' but isn't 'Memento'".

The short film "Archetype", which tells the story of a robot that begins to think on it's own, has been picked up by "Chronicle" producer John Davis with plans to turn it into a feature film. No word on when the movie will start filming but I'm hoping they turn it into "Short Circuit 3". I've been waiting almost 25 years for that movie to happen.

I've never seen "The Day of the Triffids" and to be honest I thought it was a Star Trek episode until now but it looks like Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures has picked up the rights to remake the 1962 film. The movie focuses on a couple left with the power of sight after a meteorite shower hits the earth, leaving the population blind and giant plants growing everywhere. "The Trouble With Tribbles"! That's the Star Trek episode I'm thinking of.

Bill Paxton has joined Laurence Fishburne in the cast of "The Colony". The film follows a group of survivors trying to fend off a gang of cannibals after the second ice age hits. How do they cook the meat if it's the ice age? God I hope they answer that question in the movie. That's all I want to know. I'll walk out of the theater once they tell me.

It's been said that I see fellow podcaster Jon Schnaars' face everywhere. I'm convinced the guy who played Bucky in "Captain America" looks just like him (the same guy who played Blane in "Hot Tub Time Machine").

This coming weekend we couldn't turn down the chance to see Harry Potter's "The Woman in Black" for review on the podcast, even though another horror-ish film comes out the same week, "Chronicle". The plan, as of now, is to review the odd looking found footage flick NEXT weekend.

Mark this down, I am the first one to go on record as saying "Playback" is going to kick ass. Please keep in mind also I make this claim after doing zero research on the movie other than viewing the new trailer. But Christian Slater is in it and the movie's about some guy who filmed himself killing his family and then somehow mind travels into the body of some kid who watches the videos. Tell me that doesn't sound amazing? It's like "Shocker" meets "The Poughkeepsie Tapes" with a dash of some other movie I can't think of but will make me sound really legit once it comes to me.

"Chronicle" is a new flick about a group of boys who discover they have the power to move things... WITH THEIR MINDS! And what would any red blooded American teenage boy do if he got these powers? Figure out a way to look up girls skirts of course. Proof is in this new clip from the film. I hope I didn't spoil the end for you.

And here's a clip from "The Grey". A movie where Liam Neeson battles wolfs in the middle of the Alaska after his plane crashes. I don't know what it is but there's something about Liam Neeson telling a group of people to "be cool" that makes me feel like everything that's wrong in the world is going to be right. You ever get that? You will... you will.

Jamie Bell and Tilda Swinton look to be in talks to star in a new film from "Host" director Bong Joon-ho titled "Snow Piercer". Chris Evans is already on board for the flick which focuses on that last remaining people on earth who are trapped on a train after the second ice age comes. Because that's what people always say, when the end comes the only thing that will be left is cockroaches and trains. Or something like that.