The humble, but no less caustic, side of the law. That's why they pay me the mediocre bucks.

Monday, August 07, 2006

$3 and two initials

It's been some time since the bar and I am now bored. I have been sitting around, catching up on my sleep and television, playing with the cats, and cooking up a storm (three words: lemon ginger sorbet - email me if you want the recipe). It's great, but I am quickly running out of money and becoming sluggish. So last week I decided the time had come to go for it and apply for a temp job.

I sent in my resume to a legal temp firm with a good reputation that advertised hourly rates of up to $75 on their website. Not bad, right? They called me to schedule an interview, and last Friday I went in. First, I wasn't totally clear as to why a temp firm had to interview me. They have my resume, it's not like I'm going to have to work hand in hand with them, but whatever. I guess they just want to make sure that I'm not a raging sociopath, which I don't really think I am.

Last Friday was about 400 degrees, but since it was a legal job, I figured I'd better put on the legal interview outfit. That meant a wool suit, a nice shirt, stockings, and some conservative heels. I sweated the whole way to the subway, and the whole time waiting for the subway, and the whole way to the place, but these are the breaks. I'm almost a lawyer now and lawyers have to look cool in suits even if it is record-breakingly hot outside.

Of course, the lady who interviewed me was not wearing a suit. She was wearing a tank top and a denim skirt. She looked a lot more comfortable than I was, but I'm sure she appreciated the effort (ha). I laid out my situation for her, and told her that I have a job lined up for the future, and I just need to make some money in the meantime. She was fine with that, but asked questions I found disturbing, such as, "Are you willing to work weekends? Nights? And are you aware that you won't be doing legal stuff, really?"

I don't particularly want to work late or weekends, but if that's what it takes, that's what I'll do. However, I learned that as a temp, I am to be considered a "J.D. Paralegal." Now, I knew going in that this would be boring stuff - document review, sorting, filing, who knows what other horrors they can find for me to do. But to call me a paralegal? I was a paralegal before I wasted over a hundred large on law school. I also made $15 an hour, whereas she told me I could expect to make no more than $19 or $20 now.

So that's where law school got me. Instead of just being a "paralegal" I get to be a "J.D. paralegal" and make $4 an hour (taking into account inflation, let's say $3) more than I did before aging prematurely and going into massive debt.