Cyclocross

To 'Cross or Not to 'Cross?

As the days grow shorter, the leaves change color and the air acquires a chill, you may ask yourself, "Should I try cyclocross?"

Obviously, if you're going to try cyclocross, you should first know what it is. Unfortunately, "What is cyclocross?" is one of the most tedious questions in cycling, right alongside "Aren't all pro cyclists on drugs?" and "Why isn't the guy who just won the stage also winning the entire Tour de France?"

None of these questions has a simple answer, so when it comes to cyclocross I find it far more effective to explain what it feels like rather than what it actually is—and what it feels like is being dropped from a helicopter into the Florida Everglades with your bicycle on your shoulder. You have 45 minutes to escape before the gators eat you alive, and for some reason, even though you're in the Sunshine State, it's 37 degrees and sleeting.

Assuming you already know what 'cross is (or you're deranged and therefore enticed by the scenario I just described), the next thing you should know is that your feeble road-racing excuses are useless in the cyclocross universe. Until now you have been able to reconcile your constant component upgrades with your total lack of results by mixing and matching the following claims: "Nobody else would work," "I got boxed in at the sprint," "I didn't have any teammates," "I had a mechanical."

Sadly for you, none of these are applicable in cyclocross, and even the trusty old "mechanical" excuse is obviated by the fact that you get a chance to pit twice a lap. Yes, in cyclocross there are no excuses. There's just you and your inadequacy, of which you will be constantly reminded as you get lapped like a big bowl of water at a dog run.

Strangely, though, that's the best thing about it—it's racing for racing's sake. If that appeals to you, then yes, you should try 'cross.