Superman Returns: Did Richard Know?

Yeah she replied Richard in a very defensive way...maybe even still trying to convince himself, and then Lex responds "Are You Sure" (one of the best lines in the film) and despite what everyone else says I still think that Jason was reacting to the Kryptonite. It didn't effect him completely like Clark because his powers have developed just starting to but the reaction in the face (along with already being scared of the situation) seemed to indicate a reaction of some kind to the mineral.

Course the fact that Lois could even have Superman's kid blows... literally... Niven's "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex" theory.

Richard probably knew Lois was a closet slut, so he figgered if it wasn't his kid, it was someone else's... but hey... he still gets to do the horizontal mambo and watch her parade around in silky lingerie... so hey... win some lose some

Course the fact that Lois could even have Superman's kid blows... literally... Niven's "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex" theory.

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Only half of it, that she would be unable to carry a superfetus to term. Apparently, the lack of yellow sunlight in the womb helps in that regard, as does the fact that the baby is half human.

But, it does nothing to dissuade us from the belief that Superman's shotgun-like ejaculation would completely annihilate Lois if they had sex. The only reason they were able to make love in Superman 2 is that Clark gave up his powers and was no stronger than a mortal human at the time.

And that's as good an explanation as any for why Superman left her after getting his powers back.

... But, it does nothing to dissuade us from the belief that Superman's shotgun-like ejaculation with completely annihilate Lois if they had sex. ...

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A fun supposition, but unnecessary. Does Clark destroy every coffee cup he picks up? Does he leave destructive footprints in his wake wherever he goes? No. He has control over his powers. One can argue that we lose control during orgasm which might technically be more realistic, but not much fun for story telling. So, in my mind Superman has Super Kegles and can control his ejac.

I'm thinking one where Mr Mxyzptlk placing a variety of Red Kryptonite that causes things to grow giant sized in the trajectory of superman's semen while he's masturbating in th eFortress of Solitude, resulting in giant superpowered sperm flying all around the world searching for giant eggs to fertilize and Superman has to track them all down because they kill someone or worse.

Course the fact that Lois could even have Superman's kid blows... literally... Niven's "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex" theory.

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Only half of it, that she would be unable to carry a superfetus to term. Apparently, the lack of yellow sunlight in the womb helps in that regard, as does the fact that the baby is half human.

But, it does nothing to dissuade us from the belief that Superman's shotgun-like ejaculation would completely annihilate Lois if they had sex. The only reason they were able to make love in Superman 2 is that Clark gave up his powers and was no stronger than a mortal human at the time.

And that's as good an explanation as any for why Superman left her after getting his powers back.

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Unless you take the Donner Cut of Superman II into account, in which Supes and Lois do the deed before he loses his powers.

In the modern comic version of Superman it took years before Clark/Kal-El's body soaked up enough sunlight to give him powers. In SR they even showed him finally discovering his powers as a teenager. So Lois carrying a baby for a few months wouldn't cause her any health problems. Also, I think Superman has to think about using his powers since while he is Clark he doesn't go around destroying things like a out of control Hulk so maybe his sperm isn't high energy especially if it is like human sperm and has a short shelf life which doesn't give it's cells much time to soak in sunlight.
It's not like Clark is a woman who carries the same number of eggs around her whole life which would then have the chance to before "superpowered". So maybe it's harder to get a female kryptonian pregnant since human sperm wouldn't be able to attach to a "super egg".

Course the fact that Lois could even have Superman's kid blows... literally... Niven's "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex" theory.

Click to expand...

Only half of it, that she would be unable to carry a superfetus to term. Apparently, the lack of yellow sunlight in the womb helps in that regard, as does the fact that the baby is half human.

But, it does nothing to dissuade us from the belief that Superman's shotgun-like ejaculation would completely annihilate Lois if they had sex. The only reason they were able to make love in Superman 2 is that Clark gave up his powers and was no stronger than a mortal human at the time.

And that's as good an explanation as any for why Superman left her after getting his powers back.

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I don't even buy the "Woman of Kleenex" theory. At least it's not something I'd like to take seriously. I don't want to get too graphic here, but besides, maybe Kryptonian physiology is different from humans. I mean, what if Clark/Superman just ... oozes out ... or maybe it's similar to an Earth man's ejaculate (even if he wasn't at 100% full strength when he made love to Lois in S2).

On the other hand, I remember an episode of Lois and Clark many years ago in which Lois asked Clark why his Superman costume didn't get ruined (at least not all the time) during a fight or an explosion, etc. Clark's response was that there was some kind of a "protective aura" that emanated from his body (e.g., generated by his skin a few centimeters thick) that protected his super costume. This would also explain how Lois could survive sexual intercourse with the Man of Steel. I don't know if that's considered canon, though.

The aura is in the comics to explain how Superman's costume doesn't get destroyed, but he can still have a tattered cape.

The aura is an interesting way to consider how Lois can survive a "super e-jack".

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Yes, exactly. I'm thinking more about how an Earth female could survive Superman's member without the aura. It would be like a jackhammer without it. Then again, maybe not. Has it ever been established that Clark has a hard metallic skin? Maybe it feels like regular human flesh, so you can't say he's potentially dangerous to Lois.

Unless you take the Donner Cut of Superman II into account, in which Supes and Lois do the deed before he loses his powers.

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Which is just insane. If he doesn't have to choose between superpowers and sex with his girlfriend, then why the hell would he give them up?

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Well, the Donner Cut is pretty bad.

But in any event, Superman didn't get rid of his powers to bang Lois. He did it to be with Lois completely. As Superman, his duties and responsibilities would require him to be elsewhere a good portion of the time and he wouldn't be able to be in a strong, committed relationship.

Well Clark's skin is strong as steel, but he's not "STEEL SKINNED" hence why he can kiss someone and his lips aren't like two pieces of stone or how he can lick an ice cream cone and not send the scoop flying with the first lick.

Or when he does partially lose some of his invulnurability his blood doesn't shoot out of him like a shaken soda can. I mean how fast DOES human semen go anyway? Its a squirt, sure some guys might really shoot it but c'mon... even taking into account his super fast system, every breath he takes doesn't suck all the air in the planet in and out with each respiration. So you're telling me that even the fuckin' act of BREATHING is something he has to control? Super-breath is just that, its super its something he CONCIOUSLY has to control. Sure from time to time a sneeze will create a sort of quick burst of air, but its hardly enough to literally blow out the side of a building.

And the whole "machine gun penis" oh please guys and gals... if he had that kind of offensive weapon on his jock... that's just fuckin' scary. Seriously. So what? When he pees does he break the toilet too? Or has too much mexican food does his crap fly out at such a rate that he has a six pack of toilets from Home Depot in the closet, just in case?

Well Clark's skin is strong as steel, but he's not "STEEL SKINNED" hence why he can kiss someone and his lips aren't like two pieces of stone or how he can lick an ice cream cone and not send the scoop flying with the first lick.

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I would imagine that his epidermis is just like human skin (even with the influence of the yellow sun). It should feel smooth or soft to the touch. His dense muscles underneath, however, are a totally different story. I'm assuming those muscles (as well as the effect of the yellow sun) give him superhuman strength and invulnerability. I remember seeing Clark get hit by a car in one of the Donner films, and he was unharmed but the car was damaged.

Or when he does partially lose some of his invulnurability his blood doesn't shoot out of him like a shaken soda can. I mean how fast DOES human semen go anyway? Its a squirt, sure some guys might really shoot it but c'mon... even taking into account his super fast system, every breath he takes doesn't suck all the air in the planet in and out with each respiration. So you're telling me that even the fuckin' act of BREATHING is something he has to control? Super-breath is just that, its super its something he CONCIOUSLY has to control. Sure from time to time a sneeze will create a sort of quick burst of air, but its hardly enough to literally blow out the side of a building.

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I don't believe Clark could accidentally break things by doing mundane everything stuff or bodily functions (washing the dishes, going to the bathroom). One thing we have to consider is the amount of force he exerts or applies to an object. Even in human terms, one doesn't wash the dishes vigorously. Besides, he's an adult male, having lived on our planet for at least two and a half decades of his life, and he knows how to be careful not to exert too much force unnecessarily. The "super-breath" power works because he puts much effort into it (though it may not look like it because of his Kryptonian physique), just like lifting a five-ton vehicle with his hands. Same principle goes for having sex with Lois; I think the laws of physics apply to him despite his different anatomy and physiology.