"Aaaaannnd in this corner, the returning... ah, I'm not sure what you are."

Something about this guy alarms me. I probably would not like to meet this fellow in a dark alleyway. Not that I spend much time in dark alleyways, nor would like to meet several people in a dark alleyway. I do not think they are conducive to the friend making process. I don’t think it’s his enlarged torso/head with no neck that I find unappealing. Or perhaps he merely is a giant head with arms. It’s the smile attached to the face that I find off putting the most. I imagine his smile to be in a permanent grin, mouth always open, maybe a result of years spent getting pummeled in the ring. Also, his eyes almost appear feminine, or more like something from a Japanese anime. Although I do imagine his voice to be oddly, high pitched, yet soft, which is also kind of unsettling to my imagination.

…

Coming up in this blog will explore the concepts of pride, that many companies associate their produce with ‘pride.’ And there’s nothing wrong with that. Competitively speaking, one should promote the product with a positive sense. The positive message here, being that these potatoes beat the other brands. They are the champions, they have fought the tough battle, and have triumphed. Of course you should buy produce from the winner.

I’ll admit I’ve never been fond of sports, especially boxing. I’ve also never been particularly fond of fighting in general. While that type of aggression is usually attributed to males, as a male, I just don’t get those urges. Sure, I’ve wanted to punch people at times, mainly annoying, douchebags, but typically I’ve been able to refrain from acting on those urges. Except for that one time in sixth grade. But Tony R., I’m sorry, you deserved it. That hail mary pass I caught on the playground was magnificent, and since it was pretty much the only touchdown I scored on the playground field, I felt a little celebration was in order. You didn’t have to push me around. And then I hit you. Hard. In the eye.

But I digress. I get sad when I think of professional boxers, and I’m not sure if I would personally choose to use a boxer to represent my product. All those years spent training, honing their bodies, only to be dealt blow after blow to the head, with subsequent brain injuries and decreased mental capacities to follow. I mean, have you seen what happens to them? Maybe I’m looking too deep into this one.