Saturday, January 26, 2008

Just The Facts, Ma'am...

What's worse than being pulled over by a policeman? Being pulled over by a policeman with 3 impressionable children in the car....

"Mommy, why are we sitting here?""That policeman behind us wants to talk to me, honey.""Why, Mommy?""I don't know, sweetie." (And really, I didn't.)"Well, why is he just sitting in his car?""He's checking our license plate and making sure the car isn't stolen.""Our car is stolen?""No! No, honey, it isn't. He's just making sure.""Mommy, are you going to go to jail?"

Turns out I had rolled through a stop sign (barely, okay? I all but did a complete stop, dammit) waaay back, and then I was so busy explaining to my kids the difference between a limo and a hearse (don't ask) that I didn't see the police car following me with his lights flashing. Duh. When I finally spotted him, I pulled over thinking he needed to pass me. That's how innocent I felt. Really.

When he came to the driver's window, I felt as though I were being arrested by my teenage son Theo, as the cop looked all of 19 (which he may have been - he was an MP on an Army base). One great thing about being stopped by an MP is they sure are polite. Ma'am this, and ma'am that - hey, I may be a criminal, but I still get respect. And he let me off with a warning. I could have pinched his sweet baby cheeks, I was so grateful. But I didn't. I drove off (carefully) and made it to the commissary without being stopped again. And with the kids pointing out every single stop sign all the way there.

I once got told by a MP that I could not legally make a left in the particular spot that I had just made a left. He was very very serious about it. It was all I could do not to giggle. So cute. I bet he had to shave at least every three days. I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and tell him how proud I was of him for being so serious about his job. I refrained and he let me off with a stern warning!

You're so lucky. I got stopped for speeding on the way home from taking my kids to say goodbye to my dying mother. Really. And got a ticket anyway. Really. And then the state trooper left me on the side of the road in hysterics while other cars whizzed past going much faster than I had been, and I was scared to death we'd all get killed but too hysterical to drive. That was a fun, fun day. Every time I drive past that stretch of road I think of it.

You do realize your kids will never forget this, right? And that they told your hubs aaallll about it. And that they will point out every stop sign until they start driving themselves.Glad you just got a warning. ;)

Once, over two years ago, on the way to school, I barely tapped the car in front of me. (It caused the tiniest scratch.) But to this day, I hear from my kids about the wreck we had on the way to school, and how scary it was for them. (Scary, was me wearing something not much better than pajamas, on the side of the street, with the parade of school-bound cars going past. Pretty.)

I would have said, "Honey, I hope so, then I could get a full night's sleep with no interruptions, and some peace and quiet for 24 hours, and maybe eat a meal without having to cut up some food, and oh what a luxury would that be!"

Glad you didn't get a ticket though!

I got pulled over once with the kids in the car, for running a light. THE LIGHT WAS GREEN FOR LIKE A QUARTER OF A SECOND. I told the cop this too, that the light is so short you can't even get through it before it turns.

Oh my!! That's funny. I was once pulled over but not until the police car had FOLLOWED me -- as I puttered along at a paranoid snail's pace-- for about six blocks. I pulled into the parking lot of an elementary school where my parenting class was; Stryker and Scarlett were four and two. I remember wishing very much I was not wearing my bona fide harley motorcycle jacket and boots, which I thought made me look very SUSPICIOUS.

Turns out my plates had expired!! Like four months ago. My uncle had actually given me the station wagon I was driving and I didn't even think about the tabs. The cop let me go but told me to fix that IMMEDIATELY.

Those kids - always helpful. This summer our family drove across country and back (like 7000 miles all told) and my helpful twins pointed out every single MPH sign, just to make sure we weren't speeding. Nice.

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About Me

6 children, 1 husband (I'm boring that way). Here are the kids by name and age, to make it easy on you:
Theo (23), Anna (21), David (17), Brian (14), Rachel (12), and Susie (9, and still cute as a button).
No pictures, no real names, as my husband is totally paranoid. But he's cute as a button, too.