It’s a HDTGM first as Paul, June, and Jason go guestless this week to tackle the terrifyingly terrible Halloween III: Season of the Witch. They’ll discuss Dr. Sexy Detective sleeping with everyone, the robots full of goo, the evil Irish novelty toy manufacturer’s reason for his big Halloween plan, Marge Guttman’s bedwear, and Stonehenge lasers. The gang also explains how they would turn humans into robots if they were evil masterminds right before getting into another edition of Second Opinions. 8 more days ‘til Halloween!

I'd just like to take this chance to air out a horror movie pet peeve.

I always thought the whole "horror movies are about punishing sex" trope has less to do with anything in the human psyche, and more to do with everyone not only ripping off Halloween, but not "getting it" in the process. Killing young couples having sex was part of Myers' character, resulting from a child's warped connection to his sister and catching her with another boy. All the knockoffs just figured "sex = death" and mindlessly ran with it.

Friday the 13th tried to make some connection with why the killer went after fornicating couples. It was loose, but it tried.

Then Wes Craven entered the slasher ring. He already had some twisted views on sex (Last House on the Left, anyone?), and popularized the whole "sex = death" trope we know today. Then he had the gall with Scream to declare that it had always been a mindless staple, dating back to the movie Halloween. No, Wes, you hijacked it from Halloween!

I'm curious if the HDTGM crew decided on Season of the Witch as being the worst Halloween movie, or if they just wanted to make the Nicholas Cage tie-in.

The master plan to wipe out children, replace everyone with robots and "change the world" in this movie is basically perfect when you think about. After all;

1) I cannot imagine anything most children would rather be doing at 9PM on Halloween than being at home watching a horror movie marathon, especially since there's a non-descript prize up for grabs.

2) Since there's no such thing as time zones, there's no chance of anybody getting an advance warning about the face melting, or no chance of it being too late anywhere for children to miss the broadcast

Since they weren't able to stop every station from playing the commercial, there's a lot of kids whose heads exploded into bugs and snakes, and those bugs and snakes kill the parents and anyone else they encounter, so was the evil plan even foiled?

Got a correction for you here and this is coming from an actual Irishman, Conal Cochrans accent doesn't go anywhere. Thats what an actual Irish accent sounds like. Dan O'Herlihy was using his own real accent throughout.

To fully appreciate this film's insanity, I think it's prudent to put its premise into a single sentence. Here it is:

"Because the planets have finally aligned, an evil Irish Warlock and novelty toy company owner mysteriously steals a magical Stonehenge rock and harvests its dust to plant into chips for his heavily advertised and widely distributed Halloween masks, produced in his small-town California factory staffed by a force of seemingly human, super-strength robots, so that kids around the world will wear the masks while watching his special commercial, which serves as a trigger for the chips to shoot off lasers and turn the children's heads into piles of deadly snakes and bugs, as a sacrifice to the Gaelic gods."

I'd just like to take this chance to air out a horror movie pet peeve.

I always thought the whole &quot;horror movies are about punishing sex&quot; trope has less to do with anything in the human psyche, and more to do with everyone not only ripping off Halloween, but not &quot;getting it&quot; in the process. Killing young couples having sex was part of Myers' character, resulting from a child's warped connection to his sister and catching her with another boy. All the knockoffs just figured &quot;sex = death&quot; and mindlessly ran with it.

Friday the 13th tried to make some connection with why the killer went after fornicating couples. It was loose, but it tried.

Then Wes Craven entered the slasher ring. He already had some twisted views on sex (Last House on the Left, anyone?), and popularized the whole &quot;sex = death&quot; trope we know today. Then he had the gall with Scream to declare that it had always been a mindless staple, dating back to the movie Halloween. No, Wes, you hijacked it from Halloween!

I'm curious if the HDTGM crew decided on Season of the Witch as being the worst Halloween movie, or if they just wanted to make the Nicholas Cage tie-in.

What about A Bay Of Blood? That pre dates Halloween and has a group of teenagers running of the have sex only to be slaughtered.

Jason making fapping sounds during the dramatic reading was great. And June, this was in the 80s, a time when guys didn't need swag to get laid. They just wore real short shorts (aka penis holders) or skin-tight jeans so they would be able to show their penis outline.

Just like to let everyone know that I'm making Marge Gutterman, from Union Square in San Francisco, the aunt of Eric Gutterman, student in Marina Del Rey Stars Program, a part of the Comedy Bang Bang cannon.

As a kid, this movie scared the crap out of me. One of the great things about it, was how confusing it was. Michael wasn't in it. The plot confused me. The masks were weird. Nothing made sense. All of that added up to just one of the scariest things I had ever seen. As an adult now, and understanding how little sense it actually made, makes me like it more. There is something so perfect seeing something that doesn't totally add up in horror at a young age. It just adds to the confusion of childhood in general. I still love this film, always will.