Here in America we have liberal-kook politician Dennis Kucinich who has claimed to have seen a UFO (I’m still hoping they’d come back to take him home), but our little brothers to the north have one-upped us. Paul Hellyer, Canada’s former Cold War era defense minister, not only claims to have seen a UFO, which he said, “…just looks like a star,” he also claims that aliens have been visiting Earth for thousands of years.

But that’s not even the crazy part, Hellyer claims that the reason that our interstellar neighbors have not revealed themselves to us is because we have created the atomic bomb. You see E.T. Is afraid that the whole balance of the cosmos will be thrown out of whack because if we know of their existence that we may use our nuclear weapons again.

According to CNET:

Hellyer used to believe that there were between 2 and 12 different species of alien. Now, he says he’s received reports that there might be as many as 80.

What’s perhaps most interesting to our self-centered species is that some of them apparently look just like us. Indeed, he claimed that two alien ladies went to Las Vegas to shop dressed as nuns and no one was any the wiser.

Why would they be? This was Vegas. Try that in Springfield, Ill.

In case you feel you might have met one in your home town, some are tall (“Nordic blondes”), some are short (“Short Grays”), and some look like aliens in cartoons.

At this point, you’ll be worried about whether these aliens are mean-spirited. Hellyer said that only one or two species might be threatening. He didn’t mention whether they spoke Klingon.

In previous pronouncements, Hellyer has insisted that aliens know how to make us greener.

The aliens would, it seems, like to teach us better ways to live. Hellyer believes, though, that they are waiting for our consent. Moreover, they’re scared that if they revealed themselves we’d throw a conniption.

Honestly, it’s as if these aliens have never seen a single sci-fi show. We’ve been begging them to sort us out for many a year.

You’ll be wondering, though, about their technology. The aliens are “light years” ahead of us. And, apparently, “a lot of the things we use today, we got from them.”