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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dealership

My first new-apartment lover was a 20-something, new-car salesman at a local dealership. He was fat, with dark skin and greasy hair.

I met him because I was desperate for a car that wouldn't leave me stranded by the side of the road – a luxury I'd never been able to afford. I'd purchased my latest hoopty from one of my stepfather's nephews – an ancient, dirt-brown Toyota Corolla that mysteriously refused to start at the most inconvenient times.

I wanted my first-ever brand-new car.

But thanks to not paying my American Express bill, I now had bad credit.

That didn't stop me from going to car dealerships and trying to make things happen. My brother had introduced me to Shakti Gawain's Creative Visualization book, and I was using the power of my imagination to will myself into a new car.

So on a Sunday afternoon, I visited Dealership's place of employment. I didn't get a car, but I did get Dealership's phone number. We made plans to see a movie that night, but I stood him up.

Monday, he took me out to dinner. I invited him back to my place, where we had completely unprotected sex. I had been off the pill for eight months, ever since my breakup from Conspiracy. But after eight months of abstinence, the sex was amazing. I immediately declared it the best sex I'd ever had in my life.

The next day, we played phone tag.

Wednesday, I sat by the phone from 8:30 p.m. until after midnight, when he swung by after supposedly working late. We had incredible, unprotected sex again. He didn't feel like wearing a condom, and I didn't feel like making him. He didn't stay the night. He claimed that he had to be at work by 7 a.m., and he wouldn't get any sleep if he stayed with me.

I couldn't even pretend to lie to myself that I was in love with him or that the relationship was going anywhere.

Two days later, at 2:30 a.m., I wrote in my diary, "My days of being a cheap slut are over. I have too much going for me, too much to live for to risk it on some bullsh*t. AIDS is a reality, and so is pregnancy. I'm not giving my life up for either."

Unfortunately, my days of being a cheap slut were far from over. But his day was definitely done. The entire relationship began and ended in less than a week.