JAE Crew

You know that old stereotype that musicians are terrible at time management?

Well I'm writing this a month after I was asked to.

Brendan Horn is a musically compulsive, science fiction loving, casual gamer born is Australia.
He writes music for the love of it and writes music about what he loves.
Nerd stuff and feelings.
He can talk for hours about both of these two things.

(Editor's Note: Severely more talented than the rest of the crew)

JULIAN MAPP

JACKASS EXPRESS, 2011-2014

SCOTT SACKS
JACKASS EXPRESS, 2013-2014

Scott is one of the few JAE members not from the country
of Texas (counter to what Brandon thinks) and joined the group in 2004, when he
and Brandon became college roommates.Being vastly superior to Brandon in all ways, Scott was quickly adopted
by the group.

A Master of aerospace engineering by education, Scott is
currently in the midst of a career change from a Navy rocket scientist to
making cardboard rectangles, all in an effort to gain more freedom in his life
and to return to his home state of Oregon, preferably without dying of
dysentery.Currently, Scott is living in
northern Wisconsin during training for his new job and has now experienced a,
"real winter".When not
working, Scott tries to spend time with his family and friends and can be found
scheming up his next trip. And as a lover of culture, great food and drink,
cooking, and travel; Scott is the food expert of the JAE group and the
assistant purveyor of filth and humor.

PATRICK JAMES NICELY

JACKASS EXPRESS, 2010-2014

Dr. Patrick Nicely was encouraged to join the military at a
young age as he seemed to struggle with his original dream of being a bar
singer. He is the youngest member of the Jackass Express Podcast, he doesn’t
specialize in much of anything but was greatly honored when Walter “Tip”
Bambrook recommended him for the podcast because he was “better than no one”

To his credit, Patrick had already experienced and
flourished in an extensive career of horrible online content through his pseudo internet alias "Celtichorn" he made such flops as “Honor
Guard vs The Drill Team” & “Honor Guard Halolympics”.

Patrick strongly
believes that a goal is not a fad, it’s not a job, it’s a purpose in life. He
also enjoys dressing up like a Ninja and chasing around a little white dog, pretending
he is an Irish gameshow host who goes by the name of Dan Chappy, and a
video/audio editor extraordinaire! Luckily he was wrangled by an insanely
intelligent and wonderful woman named April who lets him out in the yard to
play every now and then.

Patrick has also been awarded a Doctorate from the
University of Patrick Nicely and is referred to as a cornerstone contributor to
the development of the Patrick Nicely Theorem.

WALTER "TIP' BAMBROOK III
JACKASS EXPRESS, 2010-2014

Who else can be wonderful, terrific, amazing, lacking
confidence, and an absolute jack ass better than a man who, and I quote,
"is analogous with God". Why the oldest, and might I add best
looking, of the Jackass Expres crew of course.

Hailing from the western most point of the greatest goddamn
country on Earth, you know Texas, Tip created a world of wonderment and joy
after liberating himself from the despotic control of an self aggrandizing
girlfriend. At the time of his liberation, Tip found himself with little
rational and decided to chase another's dream of entering the chicken business.
Now surrounded by an army of Burmese refugees he has vowed to entertain the
shit out of you with his insights on the day to day.

But there is a problem you see, because Tip likes to drink.
Tip likes to drink a lot. And while that may not seem like much of a problem to
some, Tip is the only person who can keep Jay Rowdy at bay. Who is Jay Rowdy?
Well get Tip drunk and find out... if you dare. Also for those of you who have
yet to notice, Tip really enjoys run on sentences and poor grammar.

Disclaimer: If you are a stripper you may not want to get
Tip drunk. Actually Tip doesn't want you to get him drunk he cannot afford
another engagement ring.

BRANDON ALFORD

JACKASS EXPRESS, 2011-2014

Brandon Alford is the JAE’s foundationally funny
philosopher of filth.As a degreed
meteorologist by trade, it is unwise to trust most things he says because he’s
probably lying to you.Brandon currently
serves with the U.S. military in Germany leading a team responsible for weather
forecasts throughout Europe.Like all
members of the podcast, he is a native of El Paso, Texas, and has previously
lived in Hawaii and Korea—facts that listeners will undoubtedly hear repeated
since his heart remains in the Pacific.He is a culture addict and travels as often as possible.Although he prefers Asia, he enjoys spending
time traveling Europe and improperly packing for trips (based, of course, on
his weather forecasts, which inevitably turn out just like those from your
hometown weatherman).

Despite his archetypal potty-mouth and brash
on-air humor, Brandon is passionately dedicated to helping others achieve
success in life. Stemming from his work as a military officer, he is driven to
design and build organizations capable of branding an image of innovation and
lasting success.Moreover, Brandon is a
strong proponent of ending sexual violence.As a credentialed Sexual Assault Victim Advocate, he devotes himself to
the support of sexual assault survivors and teaching prevention strategies for
culture change.

Brandon is an avid runner, guitar player and
singer, though he admittedly hasn’t found a way to do all of these at the same
time.He is currently working towards
Master’s of Science degree in Community Leadership.

JONATHAN CHASE

JACKASS EXPRESS, 2011-2014

As
co-founder of the Jackass Express, Jonathan Chase has had the distinct pleasure
of not only being a member of such a motley crew of misfits, screw-ups,
alcoholics, and accountants but also by secretly leading them from the shadows
and taking most of the credit. What started off as a passing joke has now
blossomed into a somewhat functional entity that he can be proud of.

Like the
rest of the Jackass Express, Jonathan is also a native Texan, but has been
overseas for the past five years. He has lived in Japan
and is now a resident of Taiwan. He spends most of his time on the beach or
travelling to far off exotic locales getting acquainted with the local “flora
and fauna”. When he’s not off gallivanting around the world, Jonathan earns his
keep teaching English to the youth of his host country. Slowly, but surely
corrupting their minds and turning them into his own Manchurian Candidates, his
first step towards conquering Taiwan and eventually Asia.

Jonathan
is a burgeoning polyglot being fluent in Japanese and studying Chinese. He’s an
avid guitar player, long boarder, beach bum, bookworm, cook and traveller. He’s
currently working towards starting a Masters in Education and teaching English
as a second language. Also, screw Flanders.

JONATHAN NICELY

JACKASS EXPRESS, 2011-2014

Hello my name is Jonathan , you may remember me from such
events as “Track field Nascar”, “Nicely & Nicely Attorneys at Law”, “Blue
Moon: Nature’s Orange Juice” and “Honor Guard: The seven deadly sins”

After twenty-four years in the friends business, I have seen
my co-workers evolve from friends into my brothers.We’ve done everything from attend each
other’s birthday parties to attending each other’s weddings! (and hopefully
someday each other’s funerals!)

I pride myself on being a content supervisor ( I tell
Patrick when his idea’s suck) and an ego stabilizer.

I ‘ll do my best to keep our content relatable and full of
Jackassery, as long as I am on board.