I never had a good sense of rhythm but it's getting better. I especially have trouble with Latin music. Sometimes while dancing Salsa my partner would tell me I'm off beat, or maybe I would tell her I can't hear the beat. When that happened I would stop the dance and ask her if she could help.

Some of the women were snotty and would use the opportunity to humiliate me, but some would actually backlead until I could follow it (those are the angels of the ballroom!). So, I have been learning by hard knocks. It's not easy, and when a partner chooses to humiliate instead of help you just have to keep going. It's tougher for us guys because being humiliated by a female in front of a crowd is so antithetical to our sense of ego.

None of this can happen until you go beyond lessons and do some real dancing. I just don't think there is an easy way to do and there will be times you feel like hiding in a corner.

Because you can't do it if you think too much. Thinking throws you out of the flow, and cause you to react late, instead of early. It ruins everything.

Sometimes some thinking must be done, of course, but ideally, you think, you prepare, and then you do without rethinking what you've prepared in your brain.

As many has said, listen to dance music as much as you can. Hearing the beat, and the other things in the music you'll dance to when getting more experience demands your cognitive system to recognize the music automatically. Not unlike recognizing faces or anything else.

A suggestion is replacing counting with scatting/humming or other ways to "sing" the beat. it might come much more natural than counting. Also patterns comes in fours, sixes, eights and so forth. As long as you get the one,two right, you don't need three, four, five or six. So you don't actually need a fixed six count pattern in your head. It might be more disrupting than helpful.

..I feel frustrated because it's taking so long to learn. I get fed up and feel like giving up

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Hi mrr, if your brain isn´t trained it will take another 6 month till your nerves feel compelled to fix a tiny little new connection. But from my own experiences it takes round about one year to get something from your cortex down into your cerebellum: When I learned something new, I practiced and tried really hard, but usually without success, finally I often forgot about that element ... and suddenly, one year later I began to dance it automatically on the dance floor without thinking. Does that help?

I am concerned that the woman I dance with will not enjoy it if I am off beat and missing steps..

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You are right, but on the other hand there is so much more a woman may enjoy: a smooth voice, a strong body to hold tight, a good perfume, nice conversation, a burned CD. Dancing is so much more than dancing. Look for a peer group.

C´est la vie ! I am a tango dancer and tango is told to be an erotic dance. I am dancing for so many years, but I didn´t come across that said feeling, by now. Still too much attention and activity for a guy on the dance floor.

Because you can't do it if you think too much. Thinking throws you out of the flow, and cause you to react late, instead of early. It ruins everything.

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I think that depends on the person. I relax more when I think. Thinking causes me to be confident and look more precise do to the fact that I am in the moment. When I stop thinking, I fall apart and cause injuries.

I am the same way as a juggler. Most of my fellow jugglers juggle by feel. That doesnt work for me. I am always aware of the math, and my choices, at every moment, even when improvising. I like it that way.

I just love your name EternalBeginner! It's just perfect!!!It reminds me of Socrates, "I know only one thing that I know nothing". εν οιδα οτι ουδεν οιδα.
In a sense it corresponds to "the more l learn the less I know" and it's my life moto. That's why I just love the EternalBeginner name! So, so, nice!

I think that depends on the person. I relax more when I think. Thinking causes me to be confident and look more precise do to the fact that I am in the moment. When I stop thinking, I fall apart and cause injuries.

I am the same way as a juggler. Most of my fellow jugglers juggle by feel. That doesnt work for me. I am always aware of the math, and my choices, at every moment, even when improvising. I like it that way.

Diff'rent Strokes!

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I just found another person who is as crazy as me which makes me less of a crazy person and more of a normal person. Thanks for this! You see, I have exactly the same way of learning! I just need to think, analyze, slice everything into tiny detail when I'm dancing.

Lately I've discovered that when I want to change something that my body is doing instead of thinking about it I verbalise. For instance, my teacher tells me to put my weight on my feet in order to do a swivel. The moment I want to do it, I just say out loud "Put your weight over your feet".Then, my body responds better. I'm a freak yupee!eace:

Michael Novak stated it well, using the word instinct instead of intuition: “This is one of the great inner secrets of sports. There is a certain point of unity within the self, and between the self and its world, a certain complicity and magnetic mating, a certain harmony that conscious mind and will cannot direct. Perhaps analysis and the separate mastery of each element are required before the instincts are ready to assume command… Command by instinct is swifter, subtler, deeper, more accurate, more in touch with reality than command by conscious mind.”
Wish I was there, but I'm still here; until then I can analyze and intelectualize!!!

Michael Novak (born 9 September 1933) is an AmericanCatholic philosopher, journalist, novelist, and diplomat. The author of more than twenty-five books on the philosophy and theology of culture, (wrote Joy of Sports (1976, 1994))
Novak was born in 1933 in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, to a Slovak-American family.

This means we grew up in pretty similar environments!

Having studied biology, though, rather than philosophy, let me just point out that instinct is something that you are born with.
"Instinct or innate behavior is the inherent inclination of a living organism toward a
particular behavior."

Novak appears to have been writing about something that is learned, and at some point passed on to the sub conscience mind. That learned behavior is not instinct, no matter how engrained or automatic it becomes.

Here we are getting caught on semantics a bit. Yes, I agree that instinct is innate, and cannot be learned. But many people use that word to refer to behaviors that are learned well enough to become automatic, so that no conscious thought is involved.

Yes, I'm obsessed with his work in linguistics. It's been years since my MA and it wasn't from MIT unfortunately...But the obsession still holds... or should I say, since last november my first and foremost obsession is the one we share.. all us DFers...

Here we are getting caught on semantics a bit. Yes, I agree that instinct is innate, and cannot be learned. But many people use that word to refer to behaviors that are learned well enough to become automatic, so that no conscious thought is involved.

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Be careful with your choise of words! semantics is also a fields of linguistics. You don't want me to start talking about linguistics. I can go on and on and on and on and on and on (mind you I didn't just copy past that on bit I typed it down all by myself:raisebro and on and on and on and on (oh, I kind of like this) and ...(neverending):bouncy:I'm just bouncing up and down and up and down (someone get me out of here, I just started loughing out loud in front of a computer screen...)

[ philosopher, journalist, novelist, and diplomat. The author of more than twenty-five books on the philosophy and theology of culture, (wrote Joy of Sports (1976, 1994))
Novak was born in 1933 in Johnstown, Pennsylvania[/URL], to a Slovak-American family.

This means we grew up in pretty similar environments!

Having studied biology, though, rather than philosophy, let me just point out that instinct is something that you are born with.
"Instinct or innate behavior is the inherent inclination of a living organism toward a
particular behavior."

Novak appears to have been writing about something that is learned, and at some point passed on to the sub conscience mind. That learned behavior is not instinct, no matter how engrained or automatic it becomes.

Just sayin'....

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I just found it on the internet and I liked the quote too much not to use it. Other than that, semantically speaking, I haven't the slightest...:nope: