“Balotelli had already understood my phrase was an affectionate one that was turned into a stupid media circus.”

Paolo Berlusconi then invited Mario to a revival of the Black and White Minstrel Show to celebrate

“There's one difference between Mario and I – he probably likes being in the paper, whereas I don't. But I've done worse things in my life. I left training, I drove my car on to the pitch – you name it, I did it.”

Antonio Cassano reveals why Balotelli has that camouflage car – so he can drive it on to the pitch without being caught

“I am not concerned about Mario's reputation – the English media are more invasive than the Italian Press.”

And, notes Adriano Galliani, less obsessed with bibs and boobs

“The President did not have to do much to convince me, because I have always thanked anyone who picks up the phone to call me.”

Alberto Malesani admits he’s just lonely

“Malesani is not a saviour. He just came here to bring a sense of calm to the environment.”

Zamparini lowers expectations to below sea level

“Finding a tense atmosphere when I got here wasn’t a problem, seeing as I’m a barrel of laughs!”

Nobody can resist Davide Ballardini’s Sean Connery impressions

“Now we are in the battle for the Scudetto and finally the opponents are revealing themselves, so we are not just challenging our own records. It’s much more fun this way.”

Gigi Buffon reveals Juve threw their matches to make it a fair title fight...

“When I was still a boy, Inter were winning lots of trophies.”

Mateo Kovacic is too young to remember the Nerazzurri’s lost decade of mediocrity

“We worked on Diego Fabbrini in the dark? We were waiting on the river bank for the corpse to pass.”

Palermo general manager Pietro Lo Monaco used a little local parlance to describe the transfer

“The decision was very doubtful. But it was a pleasure for all Milan fans to get the decision. We have been due a decision this season though.”

President Silvio Berlusconi also believes he should win the lottery every week