Martha Stewart to Star In OWN’s First Original Movie

Disclaimer: The following is a goofy pitch idea of my own conception. Therefore, I will consider any piece of work that resembles this pitch idea an inconsiderate rip-off. That is unless, of course, someone pays me handsomely for it.

Michelle Bobrusch, Home Economics teacher at Albright High School, has begun to worry about her future as layoffs in the school district loom. But after a chance meeting with her daughter’s ex-boyfriend, a closet stoner named Wayne (Justin Bieber), she starts a business with him selling brownies, cakes and pies…with marijuana as the special ingredient.

The success of Michelle’s ‘side venture’ soon makes the threat of unemployment an non-issue. But Michelle and Wayne’s world changes forever as they battle for turf with other dealers while trying to keep their enterprise below the radar of their families and the crooked Sheriff Conroy (David Morse).

This Christmas, tune in to the Oprah Winfrey Network to see Martha Stewart in her greatest dramatic performance since playing Jesus Christ in the Federal Prison Camp at Alderson’s production of Godspell…