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My wife does our son’s homework……

by Rod Smith

“My wife does our son’s homework. Our son (14) gives her his few ideas and she takes them and puts them into complete answers. Since everything is typed I don’t think the schoolteachers are aware. Our daughters also did this until they themselves saw that it was not helpful and weaned their mother off their homework. Our son is less motivated and is unlikely to follow his older siblings. He chastises his mother if he doesn’t get a perfect score. If I try to intervene I am told I do not understand. She says she is ‘modeling’ something and that he is learning by watching her. I say she is enabling his laziness. Please help.”

They will ultimately untangle

While I cannot endorse the child presenting his mother’s work as his own – I must believe that your wife has been suckered into doing more than she perhaps at first anticipated. While I know you have not said as such, I am aware of how these “help” sessions grow and how the pressure from a child to a parent can steadily increase. Your beliefs are well known. Try to stay out of it and your wife and son will ultimately untangle. If you intervene you will be polarized. Let them dance until one of them drops.

One Comment to “My wife does our son’s homework……”

From a teachers percepective, if the work is manageable but the son is lazy, the mother must cease giving the kind of help she is. If the work is beyond the child, it reflects poorly on the teacher. Homework shouldn’t be new and must be revision that is manageable and fair.