Sunday, September 14, 2008

You are still tired, and nauseated, hang on only a few more weeks for most of you! Your abdomen may begin to pooch out, but it will be more from bowel distension than the uterus. Your waistline is slowly disappearing! Remember to measure your waist and belly now! Comparing later can be a lot of fun!Baby:

The baby now enters it's fetal period. The average size is approximately 27-35 mm crown to rump length (CRL), or 1.06-1.38 inches. S/he weighs in at 4 grams, or 4 paper clips. Tiny toes have formed. The eyes are largely open, but the eyelids are beginning to fuse, and will stay that way until 25-27 weeks. External genitalia is beginning to differentiate. External ears are completely formed, as well as the upper lip. The biggest accomplishment this week is the disappearance of the tail! Also, your baby is breathing. This breathing activity is noticeable as he “breathes” Amniotic fluid. He is beginning to urinate as well.Dad:

Is the reality of pregnancy setting in yet? Do you start worrying about things like how you'll afford groceries if she takes maternity leave? These are normal dad worries and legitimate. Make sure you sit down and rationalize your feelings prior to having the discussions with her. There are plenty of answers to your questions. Finding out now about both of your maternity/paternity leave policies will be helpful in determining what your family can handle.

Ok so now that you are all properly informed of baby growth...my personal aspect...

This, I believe has been the hardest week so far and I am totally physically and mentally exhausted.

Good thing is that Adil has 3 jobs on the go. Incha'allah soon he can devote himself to one,. but he has to put time in all three and be patient and wait for right time. He is really handling this great and I am so proud of him. I could never ask any better, masha'allah.

With Ramadan, even though I am not fasting... I have been preparing things for Adil, he really has no time and I know he is exhausted. YAYA, I know he is a big boy, but still I can't help to worry and tey my best to keep him fed properly. So I have been baking a lot and most of my evenings are cooking and laundry mixed in with maybe 30 mins of laying in front of TV for some distraction time. Been trying to read Quran....

Today, I checked some adds online for baby stuff and I think I have found a cradle....for 100 $, A baby swing for 50$ and a playpen with a mini changing table attached for 85$. Incha'allah can get those home this week. The all I need is a stroller/car seat ( seems they come as a pair these days, big change from 12 yrs ago !! lol) , A rocking chair(which I think I may be able to borrow from my foster-sister, incha'allah, will know next Sunday), A crib and baby bag. The will be jsut little things I will need..which I can sorta buy off and on incha'allah. But I will feel so much releif once I get some big items taken care of.

Work has been quite and ordeal. I am now doing the work of three. Al hamdullilah my boss has been helping me with the behaviour of the nurses ( they all want their clinics taken care of first, and sorry, but it's priority first grr) so I have had to sic the boss on them to set them in line. I really cannot handle the stress of a confrontation, I need to spend all my time concentraing on getting things set up properly for my 2 week vacation. Last week I took 2 days off and it all went to heck...grrr. the friend I thought about to come help out is too busy. So I truly do not know what to do. I do know one thing..It's not my problem, it's theirs. Sad note : Dr. Michael Davis the top respirologist and head of the respirolgy dept at the Montreal Children's passed away while I was off on those 2 days. He had been off for a month, he went on vacation to barbados..and passed away there from the heat. May Allah bless him for all he did for all the new borns and children that would never have survived without his care and devotion. He was a man to be reckoned with and got through the stupid red tape there often is when a child needed care. Even though he was older and a prominent MD, he always took the time to say hellp to everyone and make everyone feel like a valuable part of the team. He was a pleasure to work with.

Anwyay... other thant that...things are kewl. I'm deeply saddened and heartborken and about a dear freind who is going through a very difficult time right now. I just feel helpless, but I have been keeping her and her wonderful kids in my prayers.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Salam aleikum Incha'allah this posting finds you all well,. and in high Iman.

So here is my weekly update...I was really exhausted mentally and physically from spending 2 days visiting the ER. Thanks to God, I had taken a few days vacation and only worked on Thursday and Friday. However.. there is nobody to replace me and not to sound full of myself, but what I do, there is nobody else that can do. Therefore, when I got back, My desk was stacked full, all the Clinics I had arranged..something had gone wrong and I had to work hard to fix it all, only ending up to have 2 patients that were not supposed to come in..came in...I felt so bad..I know how it is to be a mom and take time out to spend a day at the hospital...Al hamdullilah the nurse is a good one and she is very cool and took care of them and we were able to at least make their trip for a reason. But I feel horrible.. was nueromuscular patients To add on it all I was alone. Usually there are 5 secretaries ( busy ones) 1- administrative, 1- private secretary to the head of department MD, 1- me, head of organising and running all clinics, 1- to answer phones, do mail, book appointments for patients that are actually in the department for shirt term problems and the last one is a file clerk that comes in 2 days a week to file results into our patient's charts . I am the only one that showed up on both days !! Ya.. I am blessed with the capability to prioritize and organize and I am able to handle it all and get through the day. But..sisters... I am not 24 anymore.. when I sued to work 12 hour days...without any break...and handle all kinds of stress. Those days are so over !! I am exhausted. It really sucks for the hubby too..cause he gets home for iftar, tired and thirsty and hungry and wifey is in pissy mood and don't wanna be touched and gets emotional over the slightest thing...Inchaallah he is rewarded for his patience and understanding. So I told them at work that they had better find a solution and quick. They said , well we have no one and do you have any idea or suggestions. I said no..not for me to have.. for them !! I'm not the manager there !! so like once again..I am being forced to take responsibility and do other's jobs. FINE.. so brain stormed last night and I have a few. Starting on Monday , I'm going to ask around for someone who is on availability to maybe come in part time or on call....and eventually work for my mat leave. Would take a few months for them to learn even a bit of what I do. In fact , I do have someone in mind. I'm going to email her tonight incha'allah...I actually just sent hr an email. Before I forget !! lol happens a lot lately.So... other than this stress... I am feeling much better. less nausea...eating more often and less quantity. Also eating right away when I get up. An empty stomach is a sick one ! lolface broke out a bit... grrrr... and it's been really hot this week..like 31 degrees. I HATE hot weather..I am a canadian girl and I love the cold... I admit. My Fav season is Fall, cause its cool and sunny..bright colours...smells beautiful too. ( reminds me I gotta change my blog page to smth more appropriate ). Ben having a lot of different cravings. Nothing in particular, but when I want it.. it has to be THAT. Examples being.. other night at like 1 am was up dreaming about a hamburger... not just any..a MacDonald's one !! ( no..I did not go for it al hamdullilah...no halal MacDonald's around here !! ) and tonight it's gotta be lasagna.Kids started school, so at least they are occupied. They actually managed to keep a lot of things from last year and school supplies , I did not have to buy much al hamdulilah. They are learning. I plan to get them some things in October incha'allah. They have been wonderful and helping me out tons. I am really proud of them and love them so very much. Especially my son. He knows how to take care of Mommy.Bless him.

Ina few days, it's going to be our 2 year wedding anniversary. Have NO IDEA how to spend it. We have no and no money to go anywhere or do anything.Good news is that Adil somehow has managed to get 3 jobs going at once. Incha'allah he can pull it off. We gotta start buying things for baby !! so cook... appliance repair man and mail man...oh lala ...masha'allah So that my news for now... I will now put some info on how things are with baby at 9 weeks...internet is amazing, did not have this when I was pregnant with Nick and Sarah hehee. Oh and I will post some pictures of Sarah doing a photo shoot while she was at arthritis camp this summer. looked like whole lotta fun!

Salamz... sooo here we go..

By the tenth week of pregnancy, you may find yourself riding pregnancy's emotional roller coaster, feeling moody one day and joyful the next. Disturbing as this is to some women who pride themselves on being in control, what you're going through is normal and will probably continue throughout your pregnancy. Up-and-down emotions are partly caused by raging hormones.

fetal development at 9 weeksAt week's end, your fetus measures approximately 0.9 inches / 2.3 centimetres long. In both shape and size, it resembles a peapod and weighs less than a tenth of an ounce / 2 grams. The eyelids are fused and won't open until week 27. The wrists are more developed, ankles have formed, and the fingers and toes are clearly visible. Arms are growing longer and bend at the elbows. By week's end, the inner workings of the ears are complete. Though you can't yet identify the sex of the fetus by ultrasound, its genitals have begun to form. By now the placenta has developed enough to support most of the critical job of producing hormones.

You will soon need to make decisions about prenatal screening, and we have a complete guide to prenatal tests. If you're over 35 or have a family history of genetic illness, you may want to consider a chorionic villus sampling (CVS), a prenatal test usually carried out between ten and 12 weeks that screens for birth defects and abnormalities.

Personal Note...at first, I was not even going to consider an amnio...but I am still looking into it, there is more about it than i thought. , I will update about that at a later date.

An increased circulating level of these pregnancy hormones is also partly responsible for the magnification of the complex emotions, which you, as a pregnant woman, already have to deal with. The joy of simply being pregnant may be enough to move you to tears. Anxiety regarding how you feel about yourself and the way your body is changing is normal, as are concerns about your health and the health of your developing fetus.

However, overreaction to these, and even simple issues, can be problematic. You may frequently become tearful and find it difficult, or even impossible, to give a reason for your behavior. Recognize that this can be unsettling for your husband too, possibly causing him feelings of confusion and inadequacy. If he feels unable to handle your tears, he may withdraw and ignore the problem, which you may perceive as unloving and non-supportive. Understanding that your behavior is normal will make it far easier for your partner to accept, and may help him be more supportive.

Sift the dry ingredients together. Blend in the lard to form a coarse mixture. Gradually add the milk until a soft dough is formed. Roll the dough until it is fairly thin, although it should be thicker than a regular pie crust. Butter the dough with soft butter, cover with 1/4 inch of brown sugar and sprinkle with cinnamon. Roll the dough up like a jelly roll and slice into circles about 1/2 inch thick. Pour water into a casserole dish. Put the sliced dough into the casserole and bake at 375F for about 30 minutes or until the pets de soeur are golden brown.

Well sisters, I have not been feeling too great past few days and this am had some spotting and sharp pains , so I went off to the ER.

This is the result !!! Baby is great, al hamdullilah. We saw the heart beat fast and strong,Masha'allah.

I guess I have some sort of infection some place. Have a high white blood count. Spotting has stopped and pains are very rare. I'm tired but can't seem to settle down. Probably because of being so excited to see the baby hehehe. I have a follow up blood test tomorrow am.

So keep us in your duaas pls. Not only this , but we are facing a few .lets call them "tests" at the moment. Guess it's normal considering everything. Incha'allah.

Your baby has a face! Your baby's features are becoming more obvious, as his lips, tongue and nostrils, as well as the buds for 20 baby teeth are already present. The back muscles are growing along the spinal column, and his or her reproductive organs have started to form and soon will become either testes or ovaries. The arms and legs are growing and elbows and knees appear as well. The fingers and toes are starting to show but are still webbed. Your baby is about 8 - 11 mm or 0.31 - 0.43 inches in length.

The process of ossification (hardening of the bones) begins as the bones of the fingers and toes have already reached the first joint. Your baby is already getting smarter as his brain continues to develop and grow. Your baby is starting to show signs of reflex activity - an automatic response to certain types of stimuli Connecting you and your baby, the umbilical cord with all its blood vessels, is starting to function. In fact, what will be your baby's intestine is forming in the umbilical cord as well. An ultrasound done this week would show your baby's fluttering heart and reflex movements.

Mood swings: A lot of women can feel moody or anxious during this time of the pregnancy. You might have conflicting emotions about your pregnancy, or your may be exhausted from weeks of flu-like symptoms. Your rampaging hormones exacerbate these emotions. Try to relax and communicate with your partner concerning any worries you have.

Good news here lol :

if you have been extra moody lately, that may start to subside this week, as the placenta is beginning to take responsibility for your baby’s hormone production

Pregnancy symptoms that you may experience during this time include:

Acne

Increase in hormones

Tender, swollen breasts

Tummy pooch

Nausea

Extreme fatigue.

(NO KIDDDINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! )

A video I found that was closest to my first time seeing this blessed child. masha'allah. ( yes I am bawling my eyes out right now lol )

So ya... how am I feeling? I am over -emotional, extremely tired...mooody..low -energy... however nausea is not as bad.. but I can't do sunnah prayers.. jsut too much. Been compensating with dkhir beads... not been fasting... kinda relieved and saddene by this. I really wanted to share fasting with my husband for the first time this year. I ahve been with him for iftar and making him treats though I spent a few days home this week..and I love it. i wish I could be a stay at home mom , Inchaallah one day.

Adil is majorly stressed, with good reason. He has a lot to handle and get used to and fast. Poor guy.. keep him in ur duaas ok? may allah give him sabr

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" (Quran 30:21).

"O Humans revere your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single person created of like nature its mate, and from this scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence Allah through Whom you claim your mutual rights" (Quran 4:1).

The above verses of the Quran lay out the framework as to what are the basis, the objectives and the goal of marriage in Islam. In the ultimate Wisdom of Allah we are first told that both partners man and woman are created from the same source. That this should be paid attention to as it is one of His signs.

The fact that we come from the same soul signifies our equality as humans, when the essence of our creation is the same, the argument of who is better or greater is redundant. To stress on this fact and then to talk about marriage in the same verse is of great significance for those of us who are in the field of marriage counseling.

The shift in this attitude of equality of genders as human beings cause a imbalance in marital relation ship that leads to dysfunctional marriage. When ever one party considers themselves superior or above the law there is a shift in the balance of power that may lead to misuse or abuse of power as the less valuable partner is seen as an easy prey. Many marital difficulties are based on or caused by control and rule stratagem.

By stressing on the equality of all humans men or women and making it the basis of marriage, Allah in His infinite wisdom has laid the ground rules for establishing peace, as well as the assigning of different roles to husband and wife as functional strategy rather than a question of competence as humans.

Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessings be upon him) has stated that: "men and women are twin halves of each other" (Bukhari). This Hadith also brings home the fact that men and women are created from single source. Furthermore, by using the analogy of twin half the Prophet has underlined the reciprocal nature and the interdependent nature of men and women's relationship.

The objective and the goal of marriage in Islam according to the above Quranic verse is to enable us to dwell in peace and tranquility. It is important for us to reflect on these words and their significance in the Islamic frame of reference.

In order to have peace certain condition must be met. These prerequisites to peace are Justice, Fairness, Equity, Equality, and fulfillment of mutual rights. Therefore any injustice whether it is oppression, or persecution, cannot be tolerated if there is to be peace in Muslim homes.

In the domestic realm oppression is manifested when the process of Shura (consultation) is compromised, neglected or ignored. When one partner (in most cases the husband) makes unilateral decisions and applies dictatorial style of leadership, peace is compromised. Persecution is present when there is any form of domestic abuse being perpetrated.

Tranquility on the other hand is a state of being which is achieved when peace has been established. Tranquility is compromised when there is tension, stress and anger. It is a mistake to take tranquility to mean perpetual state of bliss. Since being Muslims does not make us immune to tragedies and catastrophes.

In fact Allah tells us in the Quran that we will be tried (2:155,57). What a state of tranquility does is to empower us to handle life's difficult moments with our spouses as obedient servants of Allah. Allah in His infinite Mercy also provides us with the tools by which we can achieve this state of peace and tranquility.

The second principle besides Shura on which the Islamic family life is based is Mercy (Rehma), and in this verse Allah is telling us that He has placed mercy between spouses. We are therefore inclined by our very nature to have mercy for our spouses. Mercy is manifested through compassion, forgiveness, caring and humility.

It is obvious that these are all ingredients that make for a successful partnership. Marriage in Islam is above all a partnership based on equality of partners and specification of roles. Lack of mercy in a marriage or a family renders it in Islamic terms dysfunctional.

Allah further states that He has also placed in addition to mercy, love between spouses. It should however be noted that Islamic concept of love is different from the more commonly understood romantic love so valued in the Western cultures.

The basic difference is that love between man and woman in the Islamic context can only be realized and expressed in a legal marriage. In order to develop a healthy avenue for the expression of love between man and woman and to provide security so that such a loving relationship can flourish, it is necessary to give it the protection of Shariah (Islamic law).

Marital love in Islam inculcates the following:

Faith: The love Muslim spouses have for each other is for the sake of Allah that is to gain His pleasure. It is from Allah that we claim our mutual rights (Quran 4:1) and it is to Allah that we are accountable for our behavior as husbands and wives.

It sustains: Love is not to consume but to sustain. Allah expresses His love for us by providing sustenance. To love in Islam is to sustain our loved one physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually, to the best of our ability (to sustain materially is the husbands duty, however if the wife wishes she can also contribute)

Accepts: To love someone is to accept them for who they are. It is selfishness to try and mould someone as we wish them to be. True love does not attempt to crush individuality or control personal differences, but is magnanimous and secure to accommodate differences.

Challenges: Love challenges us to be all we can, it encourages us to tap into our talents and takes pride in our achievements. To enable our loved one to realize their potential is the most rewarding experience.

Merciful: Mercy compels us to love and love compels us to have mercy. In the Islamic context the two are synonymous. The attribute Allah chose to be the supreme for Himself is that He is the most Merciful. This attribute of Rehman (the Merciful) is mentioned 170 times in the Quran, bringing home the significance for believers to be merciful. Mercy in practical application means to have and show compassion and to be charitable.

Forgiving: Love is never too proud to seek forgiveness or too stingy to forgive. It is willing to let go of hurt and letdowns. Forgiveness allows us the opportunity to improve and correct our selves.

Respect: To love is to respect and value the person their contributions and their opinions. Respect does not allow us to take for granted our loved ones or to ignore their input. How we interact with our spouses reflects whether we respect them or not.

Confidentiality: Trust is the most essential ingredient of love. When trust is betrayed and confidentiality compromised, love loses its soul.

Caring: Love fosters a deep fondness that dictates caring and sharing in all that we do. The needs of our loved ones take precedence over our own.

Kindness: The Seerah (biography) of our beloved Prophet is rich with examples of acts of kindness, he showed towards his family and particularly his wives. Even when his patience was tried, he was never unkind in word or deed. To love is to be kind.

Grows: Marital love is not static it grows and flourishes with each day of marital life. It requires work and commitment, and is nourished through faith when we are thankful and appreciative of Allah blessings.

About Me

Assalaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatahu! Welcome to my Blog...
I'm just a struggling Muslimah in this dunya to be the best Muslim I can be and along with it a mom, wife, sister, friend.
P.S. Don't forget to feed the fish at the bottom of the page before you go !