4) If he confuses "access to healthcare" with "access to health insurance", take a shot.

5) If he talks about "bipartisanship" and "things we all agree on", particularly if it's obvious that "disagreement = wrong", take a shot.

6) If he uses the words "hope" or "change", take two shots. If he uses them in the same sentence, finish your drink and go target shooting with the empties.

7) If he reveals his true form by peeling off his flesh mask and demanding that we bow before the Child of Ma'alakra and our new intergalactic masters, shout "Ha! I told you so!" and go for a hamburger. Congratulations. You won. Have fun!