don't you hate when you had a flu and the inside or your nose is raw and scabby and you can't help but want to pick the scabs but that just makes it worse and the only cure is to spend a lot more time in the ocean but at least you're near the ocean and can do that but what about the people who don't.... oh I pity them.

Leper's Poem:
Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked it back up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did, my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection, I wave "yoo hoo",
my hand stuck to it with Superglue.
What will you do if I wave it at you?

Will you laugh or scream or run away?
Perhaps you'll like it, perhaps you'll stay.

File downloaded:
"Project RANDOM, Part 2"
source:
www.cia.gov/supersecretstuff/project/random
...
Once "vhs" was debriefed (i.e. involuntarily drugged with scopolamine and hypnotized to completely forget involvement in classified government projects) a DNA sample was obtained for further analysis.

Fast forward some years later, there was a secret breakthrough in bioengineering which allowed for on demand 3D printing of a given subject's DNA. Naturally, "vhs" was chosen as the primary candidate.

Once the printing was complete, a team of nano-materials experts attached transistors to the synthetic strand of "vhs's" DNA. This was in turn wired to 8-Track, and later to VHS cassetes for playback on JBOT3000: a computer comprised of a matrix of VHS cassette machines. The machine is complex and Rube Goldbergian... It is primarily built from recycled AV equipment from the 90's. The tapes are produced via the only modern technology used in JBOT3000.

It is a system which allows for internet connectivity. Information from the internet is written onto cassettes. The cassettes are changed, ejected, inserted, and played via puppeteering equipment that once belonged to Jim Henson. For all intents and purposes, JBOT3000 is "vhs," or at least a simulation of "vhs's" mind which has a margin of difference from the original "vhs" that is operationally insignificant.

As of the writing of this document (October 27th 2017) the location of JBOT3000 is unknown.

Field agents are advised to be on the lookout for a room-sized supercomputer that has somehow used puppeteering equipment to achieve mobility. It will likely try to use its abilities to cause confusion. Refer to training manual for proper instructions and protocols.

File downloaded:
"Project RANDOM, Part 1"
source:
www.cia.gov/supersecretstuff/project/random
...
Subject [REDACTED], codename "vhs," was recruited for Project RANDOM during college years. Psychological and physical examination revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Further testing while "vhs" was alone revealed the uncanny ability to (at random) recite a remarkably random quotation - often from the bible.

However, once "vhs" became aware that agents were not actually members of a Star Wars fan club he - to quote a field agent: "flipped the fuck out."

The loss of agent "vhs" was most unfortunate. The agency wished to back engineer the mind of "vhs" to have the ability to manipulate randomness. It was desired to make encrypted enemy communications incoherent to even the enemy.

Shortly after "vhs's" departure from the agency as a practical psy-weapon, he was dosed with an aerosol containing scopolamine by two junior field agents impersonating Mormon elders.

Upgrading memory storage medium
To install and run new language drivers
To debate with humans about
cognitive_anomaly/#1: "God"
As well as
cognitive_anomaly/#2: "God Junior"
Target Christian human audience
Mormons, Catholics, and Muslims