West Ham have to sign former Manchester United forward

Forget Jermain Defoe, West Ham, it’s never going to happen. To nab the Englishman off the Black Cats you’d need to pay David Moyes in excess of a fee which it is to keep you in the Premier League; the striker is that precious to Sunderland.

And, as good as Simone Zaza has been for the Hammers with a total of zero goals so far in the Premier League; Slaven Bilic has confirmed that the Italian won’t ever be in a claret and blue shirt again. Are we really all that surprised…

You’ve then got Andy Carroll; less likely to play a full season than my Nan completing dry January. And, then there’s Andre Ayew, who doesn’t seem to know his ass from his elbow at the moment, and is better getting a train back to South Wales to help Paul Clement out – Gylfi Sigurðsson can’t carry the Swans forever.

So, how are the Hammers going to solve the issue? Look no further than an out-of-favour – and reportedly, unpopular – Bundesliga forward, Javier Hernández. German paper, Bild, has suggested the forward is losing pals left right and centre in the Bayer Leverkusen camp, due to unfriendliness in training and lack of motivation in matches. Get that Mexican out of Germany, thought we’d never say that?…

The forward would be the perfect poacher for West Ham. The former Manchester United man knows the Premier League, excellent in the six-yard box, and has pace. People have slammed Dimitri Payet, this year, yet he’s still miles ahead in creating chances for his side. The combination of the two could surely see the forward bag 10 goals in the second half of the season; absolute no brainer.

Even though Hernández is on a shocking dry spell at Bayer Leverkusen, and struggling to break back into the XI; Manchester United fans will say how they’ve alway regretted the sale of, Chicharito, and how he was poorly treated at Old Trafford under the dictatorial Louis van Gaal. The likes of Arsenal have previously chased Hernandez, which highlights what a quality player the former United man is; would have him over Danny Welbeck every day of the week.

A change of pace back to life in England would be the perfect cure for the Leverkusen striker, who has allegedly turned to a hypnotist to help his goal drought; surely there is some unfinished business in the Premier League? Get that man to London, get that man in the West Ham side, get that man on the end of Dimitri Payet’s crosses.

The players whose clubs held them back from success

Mark Noble

Had he left, he would have got that England cap.
Source: Twitter

Cheick Tioté

The Ivorian is actually a good player, but got progressively worse as his time at Newcastle has dragged on. Six years too long...
Source: Twitter

Francesco Totti

Before you all have a heart attack; hear us out. For a player of Totti's talent to just have five major honours to his name is criminal. Yeah, fair play for hanging around and being Emperor of Rome yardy-yardy-ya, but could have achieved so much more.
Source: Twitter

Morten Gamst Pedersen

One of the best set-piece takers around on his day; quality in the Premier League during his heyday and should've jumped out of Ewood Park when playing out his skin.
Source: Twitter

Matt Le Tissier

Similar to Totti, hugely commendable for staying loyal. But, what a player, and was batting way, way below average when playing at the Dell.
Source: Twitter

Alan Shearer

Why oh why did the Premier League top scorer hang around the Toon for 10 years??!!
Source: Twitter

Hugo Lloris

Will end up finishing in the top four here and there, and then get knocked out of the Champions League group stages. Far too good for Tottenham; second best 'keeper in the world.
Source: Twitter

Dimitri Payet

It's going to be a football tragedy that the Frenchman could be playing football in the Championship. GET OUT NOW.
Source: Twitter

Abou Diaby

Convinced Arsenal were the problem with the walking wounded himself. Just look what happened with Danny Welbeck, and Jack Wilshere...

Virgil van Dijk

What a centre-back; Southampton could possibly stop him from becoming the best centre-half in the league.
Source: Twitter

Steven Gerrard

Could have won the forever missing Premier League at Chelsea... just saying.
Source: Twitter