How To Get A Rich Man To Be Your Boyfriend Or Husband

Out of the 140 million tax returns filed in the United States every year, about 1.4 million make an adjusted gross income of over $380,000 a year. Now imagine if there were 1.4 million undead zombies roaming the country. They’d be everywhere!

Most would agree that a top 1% income is rich wherever you live. However, some will say you’re just middle class if you’ve got to pay for private school tuition in cities such as San Francisco, New York, Paris, and London! Given it is one of our mantras to always describe ourselves as middle class, being called financially average is a blessing.

Regardless of what your true financial definition of rich is, your mission if you choose to accept is to lock down one of the 1.4 million+ rich people the IRS knows about to marry you. The one tautology about money is that once you have money, you don’t worry as much about not having money. And when you worry less about money, you get to fight more about all the other joys in a relationship.

This article will provide some insights into how single men with over $380,000 a year in income or net worths of over $1 million dollars think about women and marriage. Once you understand such a man’s fears and hopes, you are well on your way to living the good life!

HOW GOOD RICH MEN THINK

* I must be dreaming. Most wealthy men are self-made. They may have studied hard in school, took some calculated risks, worked even harder on their ventures, and struck lucky gold. They know what it’s like to be middle class or lower because that’s exactly where they toiled for most of their lives. They’ve made far more than they’ve ever imagined possible and can’t believe their luck. There is a constant awareness that the good times can’t last forever. In fact, there is a paranoia that one day they’ll wake up to see everything they’ve worked for disappear. As a result, they keep on working to make their dreams happen, never taking for granted what they have.

* Nobody is going to give me anything. Given most rich men are self-made, they strongly do not believe in entitlement. Nothing is deserved which is not earned. Given this type of stance, sometimes they can be very harsh on those who are receiving some type of assistance from the government, friends, or family members. It takes time to assuage such a man to see another’s point of view as a result. Men want to see that a woman is independent or on her way to being financially independent through self-struggle.

* Women who know what they want are most attractive. Nothing turns a rich man on like a strong woman who is successful in her career or business. The woman who goes for glory piques the most interest. Rich men constantly search for those who they can find their equal or superior. She doesn’t have to be rich. Instead, she can be superbly talented in something that he is not e.g. musical instrument, language, singing, dance, art, etc.

* Why should I ever settle down? Rich men have a larger selection of women thanks to women being more accepting of rich men. You will see 4s go out with 8s all the time and nobody ever bats an eye because it’s so common in places such as New York City and San Francisco. Given a rich man’s mental conditioning, he will logically assume he is more handsome, more charismatic, and funnier than he really is. It really doesn’t matter if he’s not because he continues to get outsized attention from the ladies.

* Please don’t waste my time. Although everybody’s time is finite, time is much more precious to a rich person because the dichotomy between time and money is wider. Rich men have less patience for relationship games and long term courtships. He needs to know whether she wants him or not. None of this “I’m in a weird place right now” while she goes off and dates multiple men. A rich man has no problem being a friendly suitor who meets up on random occasions. But there is no way a confused woman will ever snag herself a stable rich man.

* If only I had someone to share my money with. There will come a time in every rich man’s life when he’ll realize the pointlessness of making more money if there’s nobody to spend it on or with. He may accumulate so much that he won’t mind being a sugar daddy to someone who doesn’t fit any of his criteria for the ideal woman so long as she enjoys his company. He would rather be with someone than be alone.

* When am I going to lose it all? Rich men pay attention to fortunes lost all the time. An example is Eike Batista who is estimated to have lost $33 billion dollars in 16 months as his conglomerate, OGX Petroleo & Gas Participacoes SA lost 90% of its value. Batista is still worth $200 million dollars, but still, that is a frightening fall. Given the paranoia of losing it all, rich men are very methodical in their money management ways. They will allocate at least 20% of their net worth to risk free investments so that if things go to hell, they’ll still live a comfortable life. Rich men realize their wealth is an important reason why they have more selection.

* I hope she still loves me if I had no money. Rich men understand they are attracting more women than normal for their wealth, but every rich man hopes his woman loves him for who he is as a person. Rich men don’t want to feel like chumps who have to pay for companionship. As soon as a rich man feels the only reason why a woman is asking a man out so he can pay for dinner and a show, it’s game over.

ADVICE FOR WOMEN ON HOW TO LOCK DOWN A RICH MAN

Now that you know how rich men think, it’s important to adjust your actions accordingly if you want to be with someone with means.

* Be your own person. Thoroughly pursue your dreams and do not give up until you get there. It’s important not to compromise your standards for a rich man. If you’ve always wanted to make it on Broadway, don’t you dare leave New York City to be closer to a man who lives in Chicago. If your dream job demands that you travel for three months a year, go for it and don’t look back. The more you focus on what you want, the more the rich man will want you. He has the financial resources to move, travel, or buy a piede de terre where you live if he wants to be with you so don’t worry about not pursuing your goals.

* Develop a strong network of friends. You don’t have to have a ton of friends, just enough where you can spend all your time with them as if you didn’t have a man in your life. A rich man worries his woman will smother him if they get too close. Once you have a couple friends to go out with for dinner or shows, you provide a man some relief that he doesn’t have to always entertain you. Develop your own world and invite him in.

* Be an expert at something he is not. Singing, dancing, writing or playing a musical instrument are tops on the list of things most men don’t do well. If you can master just one art you will gain a tremendous amount of admiration. Tanya Streeter is a world record holder freediver who went down 525 feet and can hold her breath for 4 minutes. Now that is one sexy woman!

* Take care of yourself. Because rich men have more selection, they tend to gravitate towards better looking, fitter women. The one thing every person can do is work on their fitness – facial features not so much. There’s a big fear from men that once he marries his woman that she will chop off all her hair and let herself go. Don’t let your man fear such a thing by eating healthy and maintaining a workout regime that’s beyond his own. When a woman asks a rich man to see whether he’d like to join her at the gym, deep down the rich man is beaming with joy.

* Be a lower high maintenance woman. High maintenance women generally have a bad wrap. They take two hours to get ready, love to take pictures of themselves, aren’t grateful and have never met a mirror they don’t like. The flip side is that they generally look good. A rich man loves to have a beautiful woman on his arm. He feels proud to call her his girl as onlookers check them out. The “level of maintenance” is highly subjective. If a beautiful woman can turn it down a notch based on his perception, she’ll be much more attractive. Simple things like saying “thank you,” leaving the house in comfortably simple clothes, and offering to pay once in a while go a long way.

* Show interest in his business. A man wants to marry a woman who cares about where their money is coming and going. After all, the man has spend all of his post secondary education life working on a career or business that made him rich. It’s vital to understand what he does for a living and check in every so often to ask how things are going. There is always some new deal or initiative on his plate that he’ll love to share. Rich men always think they’ll bore their women to death with business talk so they don’t mention anything related. Take interest in the source of his wealth and you will go farther than any other woman.

* Spend more time listening. Listening is a skill that is more difficult than talking. The ideal conversation is balanced 50/50 where both participants actively listen to each other’s dreams. If you dominate the conversation by more than a 70/30 ratio, men tune out quickly unless you are stunningly beautiful. A great way to find balance is to simply ask the question you were asked and go from there. It’s often times what you don’t say that speaks volumes.

* Be where rich men are. We tend to end up with people who roam our environment. Pilots date stewardesses, cooks date waitresses, bartenders date everything that moves, doctors date nurses, and Facebook employees date Twitter nerds. The majority of men over 30 who work in banking, management consulting, high tech, big law, and venture capital are on the path to top tier wealth if they keep on saving and working for just one more decade. Attend charity events, volunteer programs, or opening night galas. Rich men love to network while supporting a cause. Lay on a beach at a five-star Hawaiian resort. All Hawaiian beaches are public. Take up traditionally expensive sports like golf and less so tennis which have private clubs. Go to alumni mixers with a friend who went to a prestigious university. There are at least 700,000 men in America (out of 1.4 million $380,000+ tax returns) out there after all.

* Show a tremendous interest in your personal finances. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who has a strong command of her finances. The more a woman cares about her own financial well-being, the less the man has to worry about having to care for everything financial-related, even though he easily could. I recommend signing up for Personal Capital, a free financial software online that lets you track your cash flow, analyzes your investments for excessive fees, calculators your retirement financials, and tracks your net worth. I’m positive a rich guy will be super impressed with your financial savviness if you show him the app on your phone next time you meet up. Being financially wise is sexy!

LIFE IS STILL GOOD EVEN IF YOU CAN’T LOCK DOWN A RICH GUY

It takes time to lock down a handsome multi-millionaire fella. You’ve got to take my advice to heart and proactively be in environments that accommodate such potential interactions. If you haven’t found someone wealthy, don’t worry. Millions of couples are perfectly happy without being wealthy. Life with someone you care about is infinitely better than coming home to an empty bed. May all of you find someone!

Updated for 2018 and beyond. The bull market in stocks and real estate have made a lot more people richer. Further, the new tax cut plan doubles the wealth threshold to $11 million per individual and raises the AMT income threshold to $500,000 a year.

Author Bio: Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner, rather than later. He spent 13 years working in investment banking, earned his MBA from UC Berkeley, and retired at age 34 in San Francisco. Everything Sam writes is based on first-hand experience because money is too important to be left up to pontification.

His favorite free financial tool he’s been using since 2012 to manage his net worth is Personal Capital. Every quarter, Sam runs his investments through their free Retirement Planner and Investment Checkup tool to make sure he stays financially free, forever. We a new son, he and his wife never plan to go back to work.

For 2018, he’s most interested in arbitraging the lower property valuations and higher net rental yields in the heartland of America through RealtyShares, one of the largest real estate crowdfunding platforms based in SF. He sold his SF rental home for 30X annual gross rent in 2017 and is looking to buy property at half the valuation with strong income generation.

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Comments

I need to know how to lock down a rich woman. :)
This is great advice – Be where rich men are.
Hey, one of my female friend said rich guys have a ton of baggage. Is that true? They are working all the time and usually have alimony…

I have just seen this post. Well, I am currently dating a rich man for about a year and half now. The point is I was never looking for him, we have just met in the most strange way ever… However, I want to warn you. Dating a rich guy is very stressful. He is up all the time, his phone is always ringing, the skype is all the time on, the plain is always waiting for him and you sometimes just want everything to stop and to have him for yourself. I sometimes just want he is normal guy I can have normal life with. Anyway, yes, he always has his baggage packed and he is always ready to go. We are all the time breaking up and making-up. He proposed me 6 months ago but I am still not ready for it. I am thinking what is my life going to be like? Do I want to be just a rich man’s wife. The fact is I am 12 years younger, I am also very successful in what I am doing and I don’t want to give up of it. Believe me, it is really hard to date a rich man. Yes, you go to the best places, get expensive gifts and ecct. But, what is most precious to the rich men? The time? They can’t give you the time you as a woman deserve because they are constantly working, traveling and talking on the phone… I have the most beautiful, handsome and interesting guy but I stuggle dealing the lack of his time everyday.

It is true that time is the most valuable thing. I’ve worked straight through the end of my college years plus another 8 to get where I am. I find myself working non stop and feeling out of place if I take more than a day off or sit around for a few hours just because I feel tired. Pretty much most women I’ve dated spend most of the relationship complaining that I work to much. They just don’t understand that I got where I am by making good use of my time and I do not want to get lazy and possibly lose everything that I built up.

Brian, any woman worth your time, or any man that is rich’s time would have to be a very understanding woman, but you see the thing is, is if she enters into a relationship with you, that as long as you were up front with a her from the get go about how much time you will or will not have to be able to devote solely to her in your relationship, then she should not have any reason to complain about it. I’m quite positive that if your in what you believe to be a loving relationship, then she should be able to read you enough to know that you probably already wish you had more time to be with her, that it bothers and hurts you just as much. Just because your a man with money, it doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings, if she keeps badgering you about it, then it would be obvious that not only did she not pay attention to you from day 1 of your relationship when you told her clearly that this is how it was going to be, but also that she must not only not care, but not know you as well as you do for her or else she would be able to tell that your hurting too. Any woman worth your time and Love would know these this things. I know that I would.

Brian I completely understand where you are coming from. Life is busy. Having dreams and goals make for a busy life and then add in a social calendar and honestly I don’t know where or how to find time that someone else in your life demands. I find myself wanting a relationship but also know that I have a limited amount of time and am always wondering how well received that will be from a good man. My thought has been that I would have to stop living my life to be able to be “available ” for someone else’s life. I guess I believe in fate and that the right person will come along when least expected. Good luck with all your endeavors and your search for love and a life of happiness

Funny…you Ela…I’m Ella…Dating rich man as well….yach…He is always ready to go…sleeping sometimes 3-4 hours…phone non stop…when we going somewhere…I’ll drive…he still on phone…if not…then sleeping in car… Health problems starting on stress base…When he working and I’m around…he will not even notice me…
Few calls a day when we not together and I never know when we meet….weekends he will be with me..sometimes even that I will not have….Talking about moving in together…but I’m thinking…do I really want to end up in huge house alone?? he is never home….I met him,I thought he working in zoo…I liked that idea…then I realized that little zoo…is not job.It’s his hobby…But was to late.I was in love.
I believe he love me…but life style he have is not easy…I’m not talking already about having kids together…If we will…I’ll end up being alone all the time with this baby

I suggest you marry him. Judging by your writing you are not necessarily well educated or from a wealthy background yourself. So it may be a god idea to do what you can to secure your future. I guess wealthy men like girls named Ella with street grammar. Who knew?

Mmmmm….Well speaking in English doesn’t mean you are intelligent. If you go back to history, you will be astonished. Some people in some countries don’t speak English at all hahaha, they don’t even know it but that doesn’t mean they are inferior kkk. I wish you would read ethnocentrism theory kkk.

I dated a rich man for 5 years. It was easier some ways but harder in others. He was so into his work and money that even when he was home he was on his phone and not paying much attention to me. We were in love….kinda I guess. I think we both just really wanted someone to love…or just not be alone anyway. But he payed for everything. And he bought me cars and expensive clothes and jewelry and anything I wanted and we ate at the Best restaurants. It changed me a little. I was wearing only name brands and acted like I was so cool and I was never someone that ever thought I was better than everyone. It was just being in that lifestyle I felt like I could have anything and if I couldn’t I would yell or get someone fired or just be a bitch to get it. But it was what I learned from him and when I realized how I was changing like that I didn’t like it so I actually tried changing him to be more like me and he tried and he’s a total city guy and I’m a country girl so very different people. Anyway I realized that money doesn’t solve everything. He would have done anything for money and I would have done anything for love.

You know, I’ve gotta say it’s weird that a rich man would STILL be so into his money and work. Once you get rich you don’t have to work as much and because you have a lot of money you don’t need to constantly obsess as much about money.

I understand.
Me and my bf are dating one and a half year now, he works in an investment bank and he is older than me 15 years. He is rich enough to buy few houses for investment but he never spend much money on me, we go out to dinner at normal places, we take public transportation even he does drive. He has tons of money spenting on his own but never share with me.
There’s some types of guy out there willing to do a lot for gfs but the fact is most of them are not.
Loyalty, time and money are never to exist at the same time.

You did not read the article, you suppose to have your own life, when u need a friend to hang out with text me lydialittle41@gnail.I am black, we going out to eat, hang out shopping, we going out! After a while he is going to realize , you have yoyr own life!

You should also mention that successful men really value their time. Therefore, if he makes time to do something with a girl, then she should not take advantage of that or take it for granted. Be on time and don’t make plans only to change them at the last minute. Also don’t be mad if he doesn’t want to talk on the phone for hours talking about nothing – successful men aren’t trying to find time to fill in the gaps of boredom, they are more focused on making the finite amount of time they have in this world matter the most.

Haha this goes the opposite for me. People are always asking W how he locked me down. I also have 5 other good friends and we’ve all been with the same guys since high school. All 6 of us are the breadwinners in our relationships :)

You should definitely write a post opposite of this! Men love having breadwinner girlfriends and wives. We dream of kicking back, watching football with our buddies, and having a housekeeper clean and cook while women work and bring in the bucks. We’ll go to Vegas, go on fishing trips and all that when you don’t want us in the house. All good!

Old post, but good read, I like your content. In this case, I have to disagree big time though about dreaming about having a wife as the breadwinner.
That would be my biggest nightmare.

I want my future wife to be motivated, not lazy or self entitled, sure, but I want her to be able to relax. Be stress free. Enjoy life. I want to be able to dote on her excessively (redundancy for emphasis haha).

I want to be able to get her whatever she wants. She won’t be some kind of fake/plastic girl, even if I’m describing her like a Barbie. I want her to be an honest and fairly down-to-earth girl whose DREAMS I can make true.
Like every day she wakes up, amazed at how blessed she is and what opportunities she has.

Neither of us will “let ourselves go,” especially me; I’d rather have her leave me before I become someone she’s ashamed of. That brings me to my last point.

I want her to love me, not in the typical cliche way, “for me,” (who i am), but rather, for what I can, have, will and want to do for her.

Loving someone for who they are often takes more work on your part than theirs. And then allows for them to “degrade,” since you “love them anyways.”

Loving based on performance demands consistent accomplishment and improvement. You can’t just stop succeeding and expect to be loved. Make yourself worth it, every day.
Don’t allow yourself to any loving sentiments your spouse expresses until you’ve EARNED them for the day.

Go kick your competition’s butt. Increase your market share. Your conversion rate. # of subscribers, lc value, etc.
Then you deserve to be loved. It’s a day by day basis.
To be clear, I absolutely want to love my girl for who she is, I only want the performance aspect of love applied to me. I wouldn’t want her to have to handle that stress. She’s beautiful. If I can’t perform, I didn’t deserve her anyways.

Oh my God! I love love your comment! I love what you said about her loving you based on performance. I hope you find what you’re looking for and I pray I find a guy who thinks like this too! I believe I have time to work on myself as I turn 22 next year. Cheers!

Thanks. I addressed this already myself, but I’d like your perspective on this…

What reason do you want your (future) man to love you for? Beauty alone? Personality? Who you are?

Someone grilled me on this the other day, and while I gave them the same answer as I wrote above, it got me thinking.

What reasons would a woman want to be loved for? I’m sure a majority would consider “beauty” to be too shallow of a response, especially when beauty fades.
But, wanting to be loved for who she is is certainly making the standards/reasons for love unequal, when she only loves the man for what he can get her…

This implies that if they went through a hard time financially, she’d be able to leave him with no guilt or remorse, but even if her beauty faded significantly after a given age, or any particular trait of hers that he loved her for decreased, he’d have no legitimate reason to leave, since those things could be considered “superficial” reasons to love someone, and that would work both ways.

Not to dismiss my above points, just some food for thought I was given to ponder a few days ago…

Great question, Ryan. Personally, I do want a man who loves “me,” but with one major caveat–that he encourages me to grow as a person and become a better “me.”

I’m a growth-oriented type of person–always have been, always will be. I’m not the type of person who desires to be complacent, and/or will make excuses for character flaws simply because “that’s the way I am.”

I find that when some people say that they want someone to accept them for who they are, they are trying to excuse accountability for the parts of them that may need improvement. So someone who has a tendency to lose their temper quickly might say, “Well, you have to accept that, because that’s the way I am.”

Like I said before, I’m not that person. If I lose my temper and hurt you emotionally because I keep flying off the handle, I want this to be pointed out.

On the beauty front, for example. I may age and lose my beauty, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to let myself go. When I am forty, I don’t need to look 20, but I do want to look like a well-kept 40…if that makes sense. I have family members who work 12-14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and yet they still find the time to exercise and prepare the most nourishing meals for themselves.

So I still do want to be seen for who I am (instead of trying to make me like a clone of someone else)…but I would love my husband to push me to become a better me. A better wife, a better mother, friend, etc.

The greatest appeal that many men working toward their wealth have for me is that they have a growth-oriented mindset built into them already. I’ve seen too many complacent people who just want to work and then come home and watch TV or drink or something. I’m the type of person who will work all day, maybe have an hour of leisure time, and then go do more enriching activities, whether it’s more work, a hobby (such as learning musical instruments), or stimulating conversations. I like that “rich” people who are self-made seem to value improving themselves and the world around them.

Thanks! To play my usual devil’s advocate, do either of you have any comments on my post just above, made on Oct 10th…?

Basically, I’m curious, the small # of girls I actually get deep enough in conversation with to get to this particular point (as it’s not exactly a conversation starter lol) typically like/agree with what I’m saying.

I rarely ask them though: would you like to be loved in the same way? Totally performance based? Or do you want to be loved mostly for who you are? Just wondering if the street goes both ways..

@Rose

Haha, cute, you’re a few years early though. :P Definitely will want a girl who’s cool getting dirty on dirt bikes/quads, and loves the outdoors among a host of other things, that’s awesome.

Yeah, don’t support a guy who isn’t contributing, the thought of that drives me nuts. I mean I won’t get into a relationship anyways until I’m financially stable and “perfect” in every other aspect I consider important (to myself and a potential lady).

But even for guys with lower standards than me (the majority), I still can’t picture how someone could be a complete bum, depend on their girlfriend and still live with themselves without going stark raving mad.

For me, here’s a big part of what it comes down to: I will never need a wife who “believes in me” to push me forward to achieve success/go for the next level of achievement. (I am fully motivated/driven myself). I’m only looking for the woman who holds me down the least. Hopefully she doesn’t come until I’m looking.

@ryan….thanks for sharing…gave a huge insight on how an ideal man would think. Its a standard the man has set for himself. and i think it gives security to the woman knowing that her man believes in himself enough to achieve. Most men give up when things get tough. I love how men want to ‘light up the world’ of the woman they are with…..its the greatest gift you guys can give to us. And if some abuse it – it doesnt make it any less valueable.

What i loved about this article is that it gave an insgith on how men think and want to be loved….what theyre looking for in women. And yes all wealthy men aren’t great but it does show that they have a drive and a sense of ambition to achieve.

And as for what you asked if i would like to be loved based on my performance……..nooooooooooooooooooooooooowaaaayyyyyyyy!! haha i would be like so unlovable on that level. I don’t know how you guys do it…..but working is so stressful. I always get emotional and when things don’t go the way i wanted to or expected to i *need* someone to go to for a hug or comfort!

how would I want a man to love me…..its an interesting question. Like im the only woman on earth he feels alive with.

Damn I’m game! I would love everything you talked about. I’m 29 sexy funny and my fun is relaxing of course and sports and my dog Sterling is a husky and goes everywhere with me. I love getting dressed up and looking nice but I Dont have a problem getting rough and muddy on a dirtbike or big truck! I’m also kinda motherly in the sense of I love to cook and I’m really good at it. I was always the one that cooked and cleaned and even financially supported my exes. I did everything and I’m ready for a change. I want to be the sexy bad ass woman that loves her man that takes care of her and loves her just as much as she loves him. Great dream huh?

I see a partnership as 2 people making a go of some common goal. My father used the utensil analogy of couples who are a fork and knife, versus couples who are a pair of chopsticks. The differing expectations for yourself and for your SO means you need a fork/knife relationship. The job gets done, and each person has their role which is fixed by gender norms, or however you two decide.

Chopstick couples do what each needs to do in a coordinated effort to get the job done, no fixed responsibilities that are the sole job of one person or the other. Sometimes it works out to leverage the strengths of one person over the other, like my husband will go get a needle and thread to fix my pants while baking bread and watching football… and I’ll be reading a PF article and picking ETFs, sitting next to him while doing the laundry. Things get done to both our benefit.

My father uses this analogy to point out how people who are forks/knives are incompatible with chopsticks. Knowing which one you are goes a long way to having a good match.

Ryan, I honestly believe in what you have posted and it sounds like a very balanced way of thinking. Honestly, as a woman I would love to meet someone like you and continue working on my part-time business so that I feel useful with the gifts that I have.

I think when both feel they are helping each other out that they have quite the potential together.

Your comment was awesome. I’ve been single for a long time and would like to settle down. I’ve focused my career goals to a point where I’m comfortable with my life accomplishments, I continue to re-invent myself for purposes of self satisfaction as well as attracted interest for my suitor. I consider myself a woman of substance and look forward to the day when I can be appreciated fully by the man I love. Right now I’m resting in the fact that this day will come soon.

You seem like a truly amazing man and any woman will be lucky to have you. I want a man with the same passion in my life. My issue is finding a man with such good qualities. I need to try and new path in my life and a new approach to dating. I really want to be with a good man who I know can take care of things.

This is all V hilarious. The sad part is that guys worry about what it is that the girls want ( apart from money) and how they are viewed and the ladies are pretty much throwing themselves ‘ I would love you to be bla bla…’ ( and clearly do want the money)
honestly people….some of you are clearly in a relationship with yourselves!
we all would love to be a little more ‘ comfortable’ and some of us are natural givers ( and there is food for thought for all of us) …but hey don’t try too hard, its shallow!

It’s great advice for those individuals seeking to get married. What if you are in a position where you really don’t see the value of having an SO (significant other)? If I am seriously that lonely, I can always go get a pet. And pets don’t sue you when you get rid of them.

If there were two versions of you, one rich and one poor… she’d probably seriously consider the rich one as soon as you two fall on hard times due to lack of money… say if she lost her job or something and you couldn’t support her :P

With that said though, a lot of money can cause problems just as much as not enough money can… just different set of problems.

@Meghan, I have a similar mindset as you. I’d rather avoid the drama that comes with dating and just build something myself. Every date is time away from the goals that I have and I much rather be spending time on things that matter to me rather than trying to “convince” someone to continue to date me. If it doesn’t work out, then perhaps it is meant to be that I don’t have it. I can always find something new to work on if a door is really truly closed. There are plenty of new opportunities that come out each and every year-so it’s just a matter of finding the right one.

@Emily-I understand that girls want to be with a guy that is financially secure. It is easier to maintain a good relationship when there is even one less stressor to worry about. However, I make girls earn their own money if they want something. If they want to buy a new car or a new pair of shoes, then she has to save her money to get it or build a new income stream to pay it off. If she refuses to do this, then I take it that she doesn’t want whatever it is bad enough. Additionally, any assets that I have and bank accounts are left in my name only. She doesn’t get access to anything that I have paid for myself and I make sure that she can’t use my money to fund something that is silly and frivolous.

@Financial Samurai-I think pets are a great alternative to companionship for me. I’ve had terrible luck with girls and prefer quiet. And my choice of pets are great as they are lower maintenance-scorpions really don’t require that much attention to keep alive and can be relatively quiet as pets. I do agree with you though, pets can be a pain to have to keep clean. But pets are a lot nicer than the alternatives even if it means that I have to clean up more after them.

Perhaps you haven’t found the right individual for yourself. Pets are great to have. I have a very loving cat but I’m not going to marry it or build a partnership with it. I can talk to it but it won’t respond back. All people aren’t bad, you just have to explore new opportunities and work on building a bigger network of positibe, good people!

I never thought about finding a guy primarily because he was rich. With all the fights my parents had about money one might think I’d go chasing after only rich guys but that wasn’t the case. I was more concerned about making a career for myself and being able to make my own money because relationships are not guaranteed and I knew I would need to have money of my own to be able to survive. Insightful points in this post. I can see how a lit of rich people are self made and are very business focused.

I had the exact idea… except then I realized although I want to be financially independent, I also want a man to be the same, so I don’t end up supporting him the rest of HIS life while he sits around playing video games and doing nothing.

Not creatively enough, it seems! To be clear, I wasn’t trying to be snarky; this is just the sort of thing that never would’ve even entered my radar, or one that I would’ve felt the slightest bit qualified to address!

There are many interesting points made in this article about wealth and time and lifestyle. Not so much mention about love and spirituality.
Anyway my late Grandmother who grew up during the depression and had a happy and successful marriage with a man from similar circumstances knew I was a romantic. She was also very pragmatic and said “it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man”. Great advice Grandma. And any normal woman or man knows how to take it from there.

Well, I am neither rich nor a woman looking for a rich man. Are woman just going after rich men, so they don’t have to work anymore? Maybe they just want a man that will keep up with their lifestyle. Do rich women marry other rich men?

I wouldn’t call myself wealthy, but I’m surprised at how these mental traits strike a chord with me. Did you collect these just from your experience, Sam, or was it from somewhere else?

As for the article, I’m just glad that I’m out of the dating pool. If I were still single after FIRE, suspicion would likely end any potential romance. My only thought would be “Where were you during the hard times? Begone, treacherous gold digger!” LOL

Jason, one of my goals as a writer/blogger is to really try and relate to my readers where the level of authenticity is so palpable it may sometimes seem as if the reader was reading back his or own words and thoughts. Thanks for sharing!

I disagree with the ridiculous premise of this article. Who says that women are looking for rich men, specifically, anyways? Listen, I’ve dated rich men and poor men and how much money they had (or didn’t have) never factored into the equation. I would take a poor man who loved me over a rich man who didn’t any day of the week.

And, a I know *a lot* of women who are the breadwinners in their family. I have friends, in fact, who make so much money that their husbands choose to be stay-at-home dads! =)

Totally agree. If you’re sole purpose in life is to marry a rich man, you obviously don’t value your abilities enough. My sister married a rich man, and she spends most nights at home and deals with all the child issues because he is always at work. I would rather be home with my teacher husband.

I do think rich men might marry that type of woman first, but then there seems to be a high probability that he will trade her in for a younger version after the kids are born and the body just doesn’t look the same anymore, regardless of how much working out you do.

That makes rich men seem so shallow :( Often times wealth is a by product of the man’s passion for something that has nothing to do with money. It is because he was creative, passionate, hardworking, problem solving that made him his fortune. Is that so bad?

I agree that does make rich men seem shallow and is probably a generalization. I just watched Queen of Versailles this week, so I am a bit biased at the moment. However, I also think the title of this post makes women seem very shallow. I know there are lots who look for a rich husband to make their dreams come true, but it is kind of a slap in the face to those of us who are trying to be entrepreneurs and earn our own way.

Why would it be a slap in the face if you know many women have this concern and it’s not directed at you since you want to be the breadwinner? Should we ignore the plight and desire of others and only see our point of view?

There are plenty of articles that address other people’s concerns online where I don’t feel slapped. So many different people have different wishes. I think we should be more open to topics to understand people.

LOL, whatever. Most men I know are lazy as hell while their wives coordinate nearly every part of their lives. That includes my husband who acts like he’s doing me a big favor if he puts a load of his own clothes in the washer. AS IF washing his own clothing should be considered some sort of gift to me. He’s lucky that he’s intelligent, caring, and adorable.

As much as I hate the idea of this article, I know there are entire websites of women looking for a sugar daddy, and rich men wanting companionship. I agree with Holly that money shouldn’t be a factor, but when one of you is rich, it most often is a factor. :(

And let me clarify my statement above. Money is a factor. If you don’t talk about money before marriage, then good luck being in it for the long haul. What I meant to say was “money shouldn’t be THE driving factor” when looking for a spouse. Either sex.

Everybody despises people who marry others for money. It’s the sort of thing that makes your skin crawl. I think a person who’s interested in a healthy relationship or marriage shouldn’t disclose any clues about their wealth in the first 6 months of their relationship. It’s the only way to weed out all the gold-diggers, male or female. On the other hand, if the rich party is older, he may have to resort to his wealth to do some attraction for him, which is sad.

Choosing a partner that can provide a secure future is all just part of the natural selection process…but, if you are singling out rich dudes or sugar mamas you are destined for eventual misery. Wealthy means having enough family, friends and cash to be satisfied and live a rewarding life…

Of course it is rational…just like it is rational for men to go after fit women with large breasts and shapely bottoms since nature has programmed us that they give they highest probability for our offspring to survive and prosper.

Women like to know that they can attract men and personally, I like dressing very classy and I do enjoy most the high end of life. I still think it is important for me to work part time despite having a man in my life who has lots of money. That is not what attracts me the most- it is more the caring, loving and affectionate side – of course the financial situation helps however I am fully aware of the dangers that money can bring.

Thanks Chris. Could you explain why? I find the dynamics of relationship and money fascinating and many people have emailed me and searches for these answers in private before.

In my reader survey, I had someone say that I shouldn’t write anything more about health and fitness either which I was chuckling to. Why do you think some people want to restrict what I can say and are so stringent? What else would you like me to do for you?

“How To Get A Rich Man To Be Your Boyfriend Or Husband”
^Relationships based on this premise are destined for failure. Relationships are based on love, friendship, mutual interests, respect, loyalty and being able to put up with your significant other’s shit after the honeymoon period is over. While a stable/successful spouse is a very desirable thing, if one’s relationship is based on money foremost, I’d expect to see the big D in the near future. Sex, money and illusions of some magical life all fade very quickly and all you’re left with is the fundamental person and all their quirks, for better or worse.

Sure, there will always be a fringe of gold digger’s out there, but do any intelligent beings really buy into this crap for a real relationship?

It’s interesting how the subject of money is so “taboo” when it comes to relationships, even though we all know one of the biggest things married couples argue about is money.

I like that this post gets it out of the way. Love and all that other stuff is good and all that for DATING, but for marriage? Money now enters the picture when it didn’t matter so much before. Especially if the woman wants kids. I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich (or at least have enough money to never worry about money again) and have kids (and actually be there for them), what is she meant to do?

Men will never need to worry about this in the same way women will, even if you say you will happily be a stay-at-home dad. Well, fine, but what if the woman wants to be a stay-at-home mum? Then guess what? The MAN needs to go out and earn the money… for women, it’s easier to find a man with money first, then to get a poor man and somehow make him make money.

I personally do not want to have stress in my life because a man isn’t able to make enough money to support me and my future kids. I also do not want to be one of those workaholic women who only see their kids after work. Women want to find rich husbands because of the need for kids.. not because they want a new car or a new Gucci bag.

Interesting points… While it’s true that money is a leading cause of divorces and fights in marriage, it seems like this is somewhat traceable back to dating…

Did the couple ever talk about their ambitions, dreams and future life? Were kids a definite yes, no or maybe?

Some of these answers remain undefined or even unchanged until years into the marriage, at which point their is a difference/change in desire. Then, money can come into play, as well as resent over lack of it.

As far as the question of what can a woman do if she wants to have plenty of money to support her and her kids.. I think I agree to an extent, but to play devil’s advocate:

Couldn’t she become wealthy through her own means? And then adopt children? Or then marry a man who is doing well, but isn’t rich?

It seems strange/interesting that the burden is on THE MAN to make the money for what THE WOMAN wants WITHOUT apparently consulting with him to see if that’s what he wants as well…
Like, “go make serious money so we can live how I want to live, and make it snappy!”

Seems like the process of you getting wealthy doesn’t appeal to you because it will take too much time (don’t want to be a workaholic mom who has no time to see her kids, totally agree, but); you want to only consider a man who has gone through this process and been successful, and then he is only useful for helping fulfill the life YOU want? I may be missing something, but that seems a little unreasonable….

And for the last part about “only wanting money to support kids”… I wish I could agree, but based on experience (sure, you can dismiss it as anecdotal, but I’ve talked to hundreds if not thousands of girls, and get similar answers from them all, so I think there’s something to it…), girls want all the nice pretty things MORE than they want kids.

In fact, a majority (75%+) of these women I’ve talked to, who want a man with lots of money tell me they DON’T WANT kids, which turns this theory (about women only caring about money for it’s value on raising kids) on its head, IMO.

I’m not saying women can’t like the new cars, name brand accessories and all that (which I should note that I would love to give her), but that is, in my experience, the Primary reason, not secondary reason they’re seeking someone with money.

I think you’re portraying women in a little too glorious of a light, that they only want money for it’s utilitarian value of raising kids and supporting themselves, when, as much or more more than anything, they want all the nice things too….

Well, the reason it seems like the burden is on the MAN to make money is because, last I checked, most men are not very interested at looking after kids. Especially in Asian countries, most of the men do not want to bother with kids at all and dump it all on the woman.

Obviously, I’m not saying all men are this way, but I think for the most part, unless a man is born with more nurturing qualities and prefer to change diapers, cook and clean as a full time job, I’d bet guys generally don’t know much about that stuff (or would to do it to the standard a woman would prefer) and therefore prefers the woman to do most of that “stuff”.

Sure, in an ideal world, a woman should be able to make her fortune and also have enough time to date, get married and have kids. Unfortunately, the problem is time. Getting rich takes a lot of time and it’s a myth that once you make enough money, you can just sit back and relax (actually the opposite). But with that said, this is not impossible but I do think it’s “harder” for a woman to become financially rich and THEN have kids (like when she’s 35-40) then the other way around. Mainly because by the time you become “rich”, you’re used to that lifestyle. To switch roles and suddenly be a stay at home mum and not worry about money anymore.. well does that happen when your source of income is solely on you?

You’re right I may be portraying women too gloriously, but I suspect the kind of women you’re talk to are young (early 20s). Of course young women fantasize about having money and spending it more than having kids. But despite what these women say, thoughts of kids will come up eventually.. either as a way to “secure” the man or their priorities will change; believe it or not, women will get bored and if a rich man can’t offer love and attention as readily as a poor man will, kids will do the job!

So thats not the bargain you want. Fine. But thats the whole point. The women in question are not looking for you. What makes you think a financially well off person would not want a younger spouse and kids? Some certainly do. So its back to what you said; good communication, and knowing what you want. In this case, a wealthy guy who wants to be the breadwinner and provider. There is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with a woman that wants to have kids. Not adopt kids when she is too old to properly take care of them, but to have her own biological children when she is young enough to enjoy them.

@Katie
Good response, some interesting points to address, which I’ll try to do in the order they were made:

As far as men not being very interested in looking after kids, I will admit that I’m likely an outlier here, but I love kids, and that’s the majority of the reason I want to get married at all (yes, adoption could “satisfy” that requirement, but I really want my own kids).

But to your point about the “burden” being on the man b/c men typically aren’t interested in kids… I understand the thought here, but I think my initial comment still applies (emphasis added by me):

“It seems strange that the burden is on the man to make the money for what THE WOMAN wants WITHOUT apparently consulting with him to see IF THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS as well… (if that’s in fact not what he wants…)
Like, “go make serious money so we can live HOW I WANT TO LIVE, and make it snappy!”

I understand what you’re saying about some (most?) men not usually being naturally inclined to some of the tasks that a woman typically takes on. Agreed. Thus, it would be easier to marry someone with money and jumpstart the “kids” process a lot sooner. Sure.

BUT – you could either be assuming this or not considering it, I don’t know which- : Are these plans of yours that the rich man is helping to materialize sooner ALSO goals/hopes HE shares WITH you?

Kids, more specifically? Or are he and his finances just the means to a quicker end (kids)? You’re still with him, but just not sharing the same plans/goals(?), and he has to accept that if he has you, he will have to have kids? Or is this only if he does an inadequate job of loving you?

It’s not a myth that you can sit back once you’re rich. It doesn’t become reality for many entrepreneurs, as we tend to be unable to keep our hands idle within months of being “free” from a business, but in reality, if he’s “rich,” he’s in control of his time, with no need to monetize his time.

He would likely explore investments in order to keep a steady interest income, but “rich” in a true sense is wealth that means you could live the rest of your life without working another day.
This, again, is an oxymoron for entrepreneurs, who never stop wanting to solve problems, which adds value, creates more money, and the cycle repeats, but at the end of the day, it’s about what he’s satisfied with living on (with you) and how active he still wants to be.

So it’s not a myth. Just not usually a personality trait of someone successful. And if he’s “rich” but always working, he only has a high paying job.
To be rich, you have to control the most coveted (and most squandered) asset in the world. Time. Working 70-80+ hours/week for 250k+ a year is far from rich, after time spent, taxes, expenses, etc.

You’re correct with your last statement, a majority of the women (girls at that age?) I talk with are under, say, 26. 20-25 mostly. I will probably notice that change when it starts taking place, which is COOL!!! Something else to look forward to.

I for one really appreciate the guts and honesty Sam has for writing about such topics. Being able to go out on a limb on a topic where so many women and men think about but are too afraid to address provides huge credibility in my mind. It also shows Sam isn’t just writing posts so he can make money only.

You are a reader with no blog, who doesn’t write, and who gets to consume content for free. Here you are complaining about credibility? Give me a break.

“Guts and honesty” Really? For an article about Gold Digger’s? I work with a few thousand brave young men and women who deploy to the desert every day, that takes guts.

“Credibility” Really? For writing about doomed fringe relationships?

“isn’t writing posts so he can make money only” Hmmmm, think about that one again, this blog and its affiliations are all about making money, and that’s ok.

True, I have no blog and am a consumer of PF blogs only, a point not lost on me and that I freely give to Sam (backup a couple posts and read my comments), however, I call bullshit when I see it Janey. Though I disagree with Sam on occasion, I make an effort to give him a hat tip as well for the massive effort he puts into his posts-this isn’t lost on me.

As far as credibility goes, I’ve been married to my lady for 6 years, worked for the same employer for 15 years and am 5 years away from FI. I even show my ugly mug on postings. What else you looking for?

I’m in the early 30s, broke up with my gf and been single in the last 8 months. I don’t consider myself wealthy but based on your wealth index I’m in the upper range. Going through the dating scene now I can perfectly related to all of your points above. Gotta admit that it is not easy to find your better half so instead I am focusing to be a better me.

Your post made me think of this viral e-mail that went around a few years back from a 25-year old girl looking for a wealthy man ($250,000 will not get her Central Park West so you need half a million to be up to her standards). In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset. An interesting read if you haven’t seen it already.

My dad is a ‘rich man’ and my mom a trophy wife. I love them both, but growing up I knew I never wanted to be my mom. She doesn’t have a lot of autonomy in their relationship. She has a beautiful life, but it’s always been subject to his approval. That said, now it would be hard to find a man who lives up to my dad, even though I wouldn’t want to be my mom, I still wouldn’t want to marry less than my dad.

Anyways, good advice for single women. I think there comes a point in most of our lives where a successful man becomes more attractive to us than a pretty man. Maybe this happens at about 25. I’m attending the wedding this weekend of a friend who is marrying a very successful guy and he is totally smitten by her – she is gorgeous, a fantastic surfer (better than him), a great cook and has a good legal career of her own.

Ahh, a beautiful life with a lack of autonomy. What a predilection of sorts. To be autonomous is glorious. It is why so many long to quit their jobs and do something on their own. Unfortunately, it often takes money to be autonomous and it’s hard to have everything all the time.

I love weddings! Such happy times. I’ve never not cried at one yet. Wise words on there comes a point. I can’t really say anything as a man, but maybe you can elaborate better.

It was a tear jerker. Hawaiians really throw the best weddings – so beautiful and fun. They embody true love. My situation is almost single for the first time and almost hired into my dream job in academia and almost the happiest I’ve ever been!

Wow…. ;) So what does it say if both my wife and I were both dirt poor when we first met? At the end of the day, money is money but we appreciate our time together and building wealth together. On a side note, your post reminds me of Eddie Murphy, back in the day, as he was always talking about wanting a woman who would want to be with him because of him and not his money.

A level headed response. May I ask why you think some have taken offense to this post? Does it undermine people? Because from all the conversations and inquiries this topic seems highly interesting to women and men.

I’ve been waiting to respond to this because I’m pretty ambivalent about this subject.

I wonder, though, is your article based on pointers from successful gold diggers, or from rich men knowing what they are looking for?

Because, well, I could probably give you some pointers from real successful gold diggers. I hail from the land of gold diggers, where competition is fierce the above list is not enough. In another life, I sort of…was one.

Until the day I fell in love with a poor guy who was the love of my life and I decided that I had all the tools to become wealthy on my own. Also, most people don’t share your respect for “resourceful women”. Being an Asian female, society is specifically very hard on “young pretty Asian girls with old rich white guys.” I didn’t want to be that chick. And I didn’t want all of my accomplishments, even if I genuinely did it on my own, to be because I married some wealthy powerful guy. I had been through enough crap not being given enough credit for my accomplishments in my life because I was “pretty”, but I’d lose ALLLL of my credit, past and future, if I married some rich dude. I wanted the respect that came with earning it all on my own. I grew up poor, I worked hard for everything I had, and I didn’t want to be seen as someone who took the easy way out. I mean, I worked hard in school, went to a Tier 1 US college, and studied abroad at one of the highest ranked universities in the world, for what, to impress a rich dude with clever conversation that they don’t usually hear coming out of a model chick’s mouth?

Anyway, rant over. It’s just ironic sometimes, because there are those, probably you too, Sam, that would say I made the wrong choice. It seems like nowadays that would be the consensus. They would say so because they were never in a similar situation, never had been presented with a such a choice, and think the choice would be so logical, so easy.

I love my children and my husband and wouldn’t trade them for the world. But it is weird sometimes, to remember who I used to be. What I used to look like. The keys to the mansion and Ferrari I used to have. Seeing people on TV and magazines that I used to have dinner with. While the new people around me fantasize about that life and saying they would drop everything for it. The same people would be so quick to tear me apart if I ever told them who I used to be though!!! There’s double standard for ya!

I suppose this is why I feel ambivalent about the subject. I’ve been on both sides of the story. Who I am today is someone who is motivated to BE someone on my own–I’m the breadwinner, I need to prove to myself I can do this. But I suppose for the women who really want to lock down a rich dude, I can advise. It would be fun to talk about it like that. I never really have before.

I think I know exactly how you feel. It must also feel annoying to be discredited based on your looks. How awesome does it feel to make it on your own yeah?

I’m all for more pointers “from successful gold diggers” if you would like to share. The article is based off my personal thoughts and experiences as well as insights from women who have explicitly told me this is their goal.

I’m glad you know how I feel, it means a lot. I don’t even talk about that period of my life with anyone or these feelings, and it’s nice to hear that you agree I should feel awesome for making it on my own. I don’t get discredited anymore because I don’t look that way anymore–older now, dress differently, different hair color, carry myself differently, etc. I also gravitated towards a career/office in which I am rarely ever seen by anyone, 99% of the work I do is on the phone and computer and I have my own office. I’m also totally google clean and have no pictures of myself floating about the net connected with my current name.

Anyway, Sam, you did it again. You had me doing some serious introspection over the past few days thinking about that period in my life and what kind of “advice” I could give. And, well, I concluded that I have no advice to give, and that I wasn’t really a golddigger (I was labeled one after the fact by “friends” with double standards). I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I was not looking for a rich guy, it wasn’t even a goal. I didn’t go places looking for one hoping some would be there to meet, I didn’t know who was who when I went out, I didn’t dress or put on airs when around certain people. And, because I come from the land of golddiggers, I used to deliberately avoid and get grossed out by old rich dudes who would try to hit on me and put as much distance as possible between that “kind of girl” and me. Until, I finally did start dating rich guys, of which there were only two in my history, AND, they didn’t take care of me, they didn’t give me anything I couldn’t get even at that time on my own. Also, THEY found and pursued ME. And, gasp! I had a genuine connections with them!

I just wrote pretty much the whole story of how both of those relationships happened, and then deleted them because I think it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to post on a public site.

But I just want to say that you shouldn’t shy away from your controversial posts. You said your goal was to incite introspection and you have done just that. Forcing myself to think about it was better than therapy.

I also wanted to mention that I think that in general, your article is good relationship advice period. Not just for women who want a rich guy, but for any woman who wants any guy. Most guys think the way you describe in your article! And most women do not think/act the way you describe in this article! So it’s good advice period. A good lesson to be learned form this article is that too many women approach men with the mindset “what can he do for me?” when women should try to think about what they bring to a relationship too.

I dated a rich man for 7 months. I was not interested in him at the start. He pursued me. I had always been anti dating a rich guy as I didn’t want to look like a glorified prostitute. I am self employed, and put 2 kids through college. I run my own life.
Then I fell for him…..
He was very good to me, we connected on every level…
Then the magic day came… I had a bump in the road with my business, and was feeling emotional leading up to this day.
The day I asked him to help me financially (because I needed it) is the very day he suddenly broke it off…. I never asked for a thing, I pay for my own possessions etc.
I was shattered that he did not have my back….. I wasn’t asking for a dress…. It was important…
To this day I’m terrified if trusting or loving a man again…
He said he was worried I was too emotional and would become dependent on him….
Meanwhile I am here giving him my time, love and attention, moving my schedule to suit his corporate schedule as we would never see each other or find a connection otherwise. He agreed and was thankful that I would do this. It was the first time I really put a man first…

With great difficulty. I was and still am trying to find answers, researching, reading the mentality behind it. I mean could he be so insecure to think that I could not love him for him? And I did not appreciate not having my back the most….. I still really love him, I don’t care about dinners and trips I get those anyway on my own in my line of work.
But I can’t be with someone who could wave a magic wand and have my back easily… And Not..
When a regular guy would and did help in a minute flat…

Some rich guys have this fear complex that all they have will soon be gone if they don’t ring-fence their wealth. Maybe he grew up extremely poor and has fears of going back. Maybe he’s heard too many stories of swindle. Or maybe he’s secretly looking for someone who is wealthier. It is tough to say. Sometimes, the more you make the stingier you become.

BTW, how did you stumble across this article anyway? I’m always curious to know. thx

Maybe that’s true. But personally, with rich/successful guys, asking for money is like the WORST thing you can do. Even if your kids are like dying or you have to live on the street. You should be REALLY careful (and really just avoid altogether) asking for financial help of any kind. Just drop hints you’re struggling financially and if he really cares about you, HE will make the decision to give you money (and really the decision needs to be his). This is SO important.

I know because being someone who came from no money to suddenly making money, all my poor friends seemed to suddenly want to borrow money. And in the end, due to money, I’m not friends with those people any more.

Hence why, I mention this. It’s not because rich/successful guys don’t care or love you, but money often is a VERY sensitive issue, so you need to tread carefully. If you do it right, they will happily hand money over without you ever needing to ask for a penny.

Can a wealthy man marry another wealthy woman. I am considered over ambitious and according to my parents, my overambitiousness is unhealthy for a lady like me because they think I ll never get married. They say men will be afraid of me.

An interesting article. I won’t go into details or start any arguing, but my first thought was what an idiot has written this article, especially the second half – the advices for women. The article made me laugh. Where does your experience come from? Some of the advices as I think are exactly the opposite of what the woman should do. When I tried to show interest at dating sites and asked men questions about their jobs – they just disappeared or avoided answering. If the woman goes away for 3 months as it was adviced to follow her goals or goes away to parties alone with friends all the times – I doubt any man, not only a rich man, will be happy with, when she returns back no wonder if she finds some substitute at her place. Wearing comfortable clothes as advised like jeans and trainers won’t attract anyone. If I wear that and I do, men just don’t turn their heads. But if some less atractive woman passes by in short skirt and high heels she is still looked at. One important thing was missed, rich men want only women under 30 or under 25, if you are older than that the chances are deminishing increasingly. It seems these advices saying that the woman should be independent to attract a man concern the middle class men which are well off. Would be more helpful if the article described how to find a man who is rich for good human qualities and good traits of character or the one who preserved these traits of character in spite of getting rich and wasn’t spoilt by wealth.

I agree with nearly every thing in this article and find it spot on. Especially the part about how a woman’s body and health is more important than beauty.

For my case though I disagree that money makes me feel more attractive. I’m rather reserved with how I use my money as well. I don’t spend it on things that show wealth like cars and clothing. I usually spend it on things that I enjoy but others won’t see like Good restaurants business class flights and really good cooking apparatus. This mindset of I want to shop among everyone else in walmart with millions in the bank and not a single other person would know it is likely because I don’t want a woman to want me for my money. I want her to want me for my hardworking ethics and I seek that in a woman mostly as well.

My daughter is a pretty young lawyer from a middle class family and is married to a handsome young, rich doctor from a wealthy family. All things being equal, what seemed to charm him the most was that, although she had dated many men over the years, she had only been intimate with one man before him. He was actually quite sexually active before he met my daughter(which is why she insisted on std testing before they were intimate!). Anyway, I guess what I’m getting at is that even though she is beautiful, fit, smart, and has many of the other attributes mentioned in the article; I think what made her stand out above the rest to him was that she had respect for herself and in turn, he valued her highly and wanted her to be his wife and the mother to his children.

I met a rich guy a week ago , he is really handsome and all. He started talking dirty with me on our chats and i played along. He then suggested that we meet in his office and have some fun , i told him that i really like him but i am not that kinda gal. He started telling me about how he has taste , class in women and has dated a lot of celebs and travelled the world. I felt so bad .He even said that difficult women turn him off . Now i am in a dilemma . I really like this guy but i dont want to compromise my values for that. What should i do ….

He’s playing you. 100 percent. He’s trying to make you feel bad, he’s trying to make you feel like you are making a poor choice that you are insignificant. Look, abusive men don’t have to have a hunch back or be cruel 100 percent all of the time, its a fact that the men who don’t get away with more abuse, and if you try to make things work with this guy you will only get more abuse.

What you should really do is tell him to back off, show no weakness. Don’t smile apologetically, don’t say sorry, just assert your will.

I never dated a rich guy but I dated a guy who came from a former rich family, meaning he was raised in a rich environment. He has total entitlement issues, no one has ever told him “no” so he gets very unstable, he will try to punish you emotionally, threaten to kill himself etc. If he feels you are getting out of his control he will attack whatever he feels is giving you “strength” to challenge him. He has racist, sexist views and of course he cannot even begin to understand the wrongness of it because he’s so immersed in white rich culture. For example he believes women should owe him if he’s done something “nice” to them, (oh and you certainly can’t turn down any gifts, and if it’s totally unprompted and you didn’t want it then you are just ungrateful!) he believes that he deserves, as in entitled, to a “nice woman”, well you can’t deserve people because you can’t own people. Also he feels that he’s had “no help’ and he got everything he did by himself. That is SO laughable, he got two cars, paid college tuition, several loans and his mother and sister are always there to aid him in food and clothes, a free roof over his head into his mid twenties. Damn, I wish I had as much as “no help” as he did.

Advice, never compromise with guys, you only give them control over your life, YOUR life, and they will guilt you and manipulate you and tell you you are a bad person but in my honest opinion and literally the best thing I’ve ever done was to “brutally” put my foot down. It took two weeks because he just wouldn’t give up, crying and saying he was going to kill himself (because I told him a. I don’t care to hear about his “superior” arguments against feminists or black people r anything at all and then b. when I ignored him or get this, DIDN’T SEEM HAPPY when he ignored my request started crying, telling me I became an awful person and how I make him want to kill himself.)

How insightful but I have a question, FS. I believe wealthy people tend to be savers that live ridiculoulsy below their means. I haven’t been impressed with the yacht/gold club types (‘big hat, no cattle’ phenomenon). I do free clubs and activities, which just reflect a cross-section of society.

So… where are they really? Sounds like they are, like me, at the office working late on their own. :(

Thank you for the article. Apart from providing the very obvious tips it also gave a huge insight to the life of the wealthy – how they think and what they value. And how to think like the wealthy. I *loved* the article. Made the rich more human.

As for the very emotional and negative comments – maybe its because people don’t want to believe that its so easy to get a rich husband/boyfriend. That the core was ‘self-value’. That money isn’t a demon. That it offers choices and experiences and satisfaction from life. This article makes us question ourselves and then when we don’t like what we realise….then we lash out.

Once I had a short relationship with a Rich boy who was 4.5 yrs younger than me. Then I dumped him because I got to know he is a flirty. But we are still good friends and he still appreaciate me. At that time what I understood is for a Richman what is more important is if you will accept him even without his money. This boy I met was the only son of a rich dad. So he mostly attract women for his money. But if you can appreaciate him for himself , he will fall for you more than anyone else. And of course Richmen like independant women. If you can show him you do not want his money, but only him that will be a big plus.

Hi, got to this post because I am finding myself in a similar situation. I met him at a conference and I was my friendly self. He had the sincerest smile and I found him interesting. I was surprised that he invited me for dinner afterwards.
The following day we met and that’s when I realized how rich he is. I automatically got intimidated and completely “freaked” at how much much he is out of my league.
By the way, he is 22 years older than me. When we met, he automatically concluded that I was older because of my position in the industry.
He would text me each morning when he wakes and at night before he sleeps…and would call me at least once a day. It feels wonderful but I am scared. (Of what, I am not sure) He is usually formal when we meet. But can get free with his emotions in texts.
He has invited me for an overnight stay in one of his beach houses as his guest but I have not yet obliged him. I feel it is too soon.
For someone who is secured in herself, I suddenly feel nervous around him. I feel like I suddenly don’t know anything. I am even tempted to end whatever this is that is starting. Help!

Some of you are sounding like a bunch of gold digging bitches, if I was a rich man I would run for the hills. All I have to say is just be honest about your intention, you never know he might agree to an allowance to keep you around IF HE/SHE with the resources choose. Remember they will have the upper hand. BULLSHIT WALKS and MONEY TALKS, so if you ain’t got your own and you get used, just remember its not nice to use people, and the tables can turn they can use you too. How about findinging someone you respect and if they happen to be rich great. Money is only good for material things that you will have nice things, but you don’t have to have a nice man, he could be a major asshole because he didn’t get rich being a choir boy even though he might choose to be good to you. MONEY is not everything its a lot it don’t cover. Date RICH men at your own risk, women are throwing sex at them, so deal with that too, I just hopes he respects you and is faithful in this world of AIDS and Herpes. How about getting your SHIT, nothing is sexier than a woman who has her own and holds her own. NEVER play hard to get like you don’t want him, he will see through it. Be your natural self RICH men didn’t get rich being stupid they KNOW A PHONY just like you do a mile away. Good lucK but don’t count on it.

Most rich men are fairly loyal family men. They are the breadwinners at the later part of life, but they often meet their significant other before they are wealthy, and sometimes the wife needs to support them in the beginning. I have never noticed that wealthier men are likely to be scoundrels. And many of the wealthier men I know, hang around with poorer friends they have known all their life. I don’t really think I agree with this article exactly, except that a lot of them are worry warts, and a lot of them are cheapskates. But then, if you love someone, you protect them, thats how all men are. I think if you asked a wealthy man if they wanted a wife that was independently wealthy, they would say; yes, but I also think they would be lying. They like the control being the one with the money gives them, even if that control is largely imaginary.

Hello, are there any nice.kind,sincere, animal loving GENTLEMAN on here that would like to chat with a kind,caring,honorable, animal loving woman, Him 58+ me 51 country girl fields & horses here. I see the gold digger comments & yes there is a LOT of that going on but take it from the female bread winner in all my long past relationships, there are just as many or more male ‘gold diggers’ out there as female gold diggers. But I have been rich & I have been poor & struggling & wondering where every dime is coming from & worrying how you will call the vet if one of your beloved animals needs one & always having to be stressed over the next bale of hay is no way to live & good hard working men who can afford horses & that are willing to help a woman who owns them, well lets say IMPOSSIBLE to find. If i love an animal more then life itself, you would have to think caring for my man & loving him more then life itself if he does the same for me is a given, so ‘gold digger’ hardly. You just have to find a way to stop struggling or die young from the stress of it & a male companion to add to the stress is not happening period, they all want to have sex as one person here said, sex is the least important thing , companionship & caring comes first ( this is where the gentleman thing would come in) & those are almost impossible to find anymore. i would love to have a nice older gentleman that had the means to care for me & my beloveds properly is all & we could make each others lives nicer, someone to sit with & just be with & do fun things with, you can’t do a lot of fun things being broke all the time, being broke sucks. Of course a man for me would be a bit older & even possibly retired or close to it. Men my age all want to have sex with their daughters & well lets say i need a more mature man that that anyway . If there is anyone that wants to chat .

This topic had to be written by a real Stupid woman, and first of all there just so many very high maintenance women out there today looking for a rich man. Just too many very Pathetic women out there nowadays that can’t even Accept a man for himself anymore.

lots of insecure poor boys here i see doing what they do best call woman names,why bother writing at all ? i guess they have no idea there are just as many of their lecherous pier males looking for a rich woman to support them, so this article could have just as easily been written by one of those. & yes having not to worry about money is a lot better then having to worry about it, and yes your right there are many ‘gold diggers’ who will get fake breasts & fish lips with their rich mates money, but what ever woman do males do the same exact thing, so next time you want to just call names, think first maybe.

Having money and a career means that you have your shit together. I don’t want to meet anyone who doesn’t have their shit together in their 30s as I have my shit together in my 30s. In fact my guy friend said that I am one of the few women he knows that has their shit together that is available.
Some guy I met recently said that he made $150 that day for doing some work. He told me that the people he worked for were rich! I was so confused as he has no idea what really is rich. He felt like that was a lot for his work and he was proud, but I don’t see that as being successful at all and makes me not interested in him. I like the honesty, but the perception of the world at his age is skewed.

God forbid if many of you women had to work as hard as the women back in the old days, and both men and women back then had to struggle to make ends meat. Consider yourselves very lucky because you would’ve had it real tough.

Very interesting read. My life has recently changed drastically as my wife of 17 years passed away in October 2013 after battling breast cancer for 5 years. I never pictured myself dating in my 40s (I was 43, now 44) as I was happily married. However, you must go with the cards life deals you.

After her death, I had many divorcees looking to ‘help me out’. I did need help as I have 3 younger kids. One woman who was a friend of my wife and is very attractive was over all the time. Well, we did end up dating. It ended after a few months. She was 49, very attractive, twice divorced, and broke. I mean broke like couldn’t pay her rent broke. I discovered from other women who know her that her showing up at my door after my wife’s death was not an accident. She began borrowing money from me. Larger and larger amounts. She talked marriage (say what? My wife, your friend, just died six months ago) She said she wanted a $10K diamond ring if we got engaged. She wanted to buy a very large, expensive house together. She liked borrowing my Audi.

I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. I keep getting ‘check’s in the mail’ when I reach out to her. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I am really trying to avoid this as I did know her for 8 years as my wife’s friend but eventually I will need to take action.

I can relate to this article. Interestingly, this woman violated almost very ‘tip’ given in the article other than taking care of herself. “Buyer beware”

I am very sorry for your loss. I am sure your children are devastated as well. So sad that a your wife and mother was separated from her family in this way.

I just want to say that you are a very fortunate man to have had such a loving wife and children.

To me, your late wife’s opportunistic friend did mislead you. It is obvious that she did provide you and your kids with a certain amount of emotional support. Then she was very aggressive about economic security for herself.

While I certainly understand why you would push her away at this point, bear in mind that she did provide comfort, despite her ulterior motives.

If you feel the economic price you paid is too high, I would definitely get a lawyer involved. If it is an emotional price, I would recommend you walk away having been the wiser.

Unfortunately many people are taken advantage of by opportunistic people who leave psychological and emotion ruin in their wake.

Ask yourself what the reason for pursuing a lawsuit might be. I would think, from the sound of your comment, that the main reason you would take legal action would be to help prevent someone else from falling prey to this woman and to shine a light on her ulterior motives.

If not too much money is at stake, I would not push for the money as she did help you with your children in your time of need.

Obviously she is a very needy woman. Perhaps the only reason to make a case of it is to warn another widower in advance.

Perhaps you can do that on a personal level, just as your friends stepped in to talk to you.

How much would you be willing to pay an attorney? An expensive personal vendetta on top of losing your wife might not be worth it. Only you know if the “friend” is such a menace that it is worth pursuing a legal case or if the money is a very significant amount.

I hate to tell you this, but the death of your loved one seems like an “opportunity” to another person.

Perhaps the emotional toll her actions have taken on your family is so heavy that a legal case may be therapeutic for you.

You sound like a sober minded individual. Proceed cautiously and you will make the best decision for your own peace of mind.

I hate sound repetitive, but loads of single people who are never married with no kids get mislead by a romantic partner every day of the week. Only you can determine if it is worth going to a court of law. That said, I would not condone any person trying to manipulate another in their time of grief. It is morally wrong. I can tell you the conduct I have seen first hand upon the death of a loved one can be atrocious.

Perhaps this woman needs a wake up call. It is nice to be kind. You got out of it soon enough. I hope the economic loss was not too great.

Like marries Like. It sounds as though English is your second language, due to the ungrammatical sentence you posted. You need to improve yourself. A wealthy man is not going to marry someone from a third world unless that person is also successful, i.e., you will not catch a wealthy man to ‘rescue’ you. You have to rescue yourself.

Really? You must not follow your “English speaking” men are evolving to finding good natured women that they don’t mind guiding than their own masculine women here. Did you know interracial marriages are (surprise for you) more successful?! People like you living in their own bubble get on my nerves. The fact someone can’t express their thoughts in English doesn’t make them retards; it just means they have another language which you probably won’t know anything about!

Um. I think this article is very interesting. I obviously for one couldn’t help clicking and reading it. But I do disagree with many of these points. In that I feel like the expectations that money can attract quality women is off. I think money, like any other advantage in life (eg. if you were born extra good looking or extra charming or extra intelligent) is an attractive quality and it certainly helps your chances, but if you have really absurdly high standards for your partner you will end up alone.

Most people end up marrying those that they like and are just around. People who are of equal social status tend to marry one another. I think sensible rich men would try to marry rich women and so on so forth. Because it is just easier that way. You don’t have to worry about them stealing your money.

Take for example the following pairs:
Bill and Melinda Gates
Beyoncé and Jay-Z
(the late) Steve Jobs and Laurene Powell

All of these people are about equal attractiveness, education background, upbringing, career field, and equal accomplishments. Unequal pairings tend not to last. If you want a rich spouse, then you need to become rich too.
What do they all have in common? They are about equal.

Melinda met Bill when she was WORKING for him and Beyonce was not as well off when she met Jay-Z, she said it herself. These women married up and knew what they were doing. You kind of dissproved your point.

I’m with a wealthy guy and I love him so much! He basically hand picked me at 18 (he’s um; twice my age); I had no idea he was wealthy or anything, until about a year and a half later. Yes, always on phone, always busy, very hardworking and little patience for people who can’t meet up to his standards. He’s met my parents, also. He said a long time ago a girl would have to be very understanding to be with him. I learn a lot from him about running a business, wealth, etc. There is truly no one in this world like him and I really enjoy his company! Plus, some of the nice things he has are just fun sometimes!

rich men are pretty much like any other men except they were lucky to strike it rich…
a lot of rich men are not that much smarter than the average person they just have skills that got them there…

so treat them and be treated like any other person with the sole difference that these men dont want the same stress in their life that they have in their job.
i know this stuff cause i run hepays.com . its specifically for women to meet rich men

Natalia This is the story of my life that i am still pondering upon even as i write this article.I maybe judged and i may not be but even if i am judged, no one can ever know my real personality or family.I have been asking myself if i should let the world know about this or maybe i should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy.All the same am telling my story. my husband has four kids and we have a happy family.It wasn’t always just like that.Before my husband, i have been married to five different men.Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason.It was easy to say i was cured by someone or something.I had a feeling there was something about me that wasn’t just appealing in the site of all the men that claimed to love me to death.The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when i met my present husband i fall hardly in love with him like he also did.It was all in his eye that he loved me with all he’s got.Yeah we got married but just after the first six months as always he just wanted out as every other man that i was married to.I never really wanted to let go of any of my ex husband i was willing to fight for the marriage but they bluntly weren’t ready for that.But this, i just got tired of same old same old thing just wanted a steady marriage with the love of my life.I tried marriage counseling with him which is suppose to me the best way to resolving marital problem but he was like its been tattooed in his mind that he wanted out of our marriage.I WANT TO LEAVE A QUESTION FOR ANYONE READING THIS CAN A WOMAN REALLY BE HAPPY OR FEEL COMPETE WHEN EVERY OF HER MARRIAGE FAILS.CAN A WOMAN EVER FEEL LIKE THEY BELONG IN THE SOCIETY WHEN EVERY MAN SHE IS MARRIED TO REJECT HER AFTER A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT ANY COURSE?FOR ME MY ANSWER IS A NO COS I KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME AND
MY FAMILY IT AFFECTED ME PSYCHOLOGICALLY BUT I WAS TOO STRONG TO BREAK DOWN COS I HARD TO FIGHT FOR KIDS WHO LOOK AT THEIR MOM AS INVINCIBLE AND STRONG.Honestly don’t know how and when i contacted a spell caster to help me.AT FIRST IT WAS JUST TO SEE HOW TRUE AND HOW HE COULD REALLY HELP ME FIX MY PROBLEM LITTLE DID I KNOW IT WAS HE SOLUTION TO MY GRIEVING PAIN.His name IS Dr okpapiami i think he was of great help cos i honest remember that he helped me save my marriage and made me helped myself to feel loved again.Its being one year and six months exactly since he cast a spell to make my husband stay till dead do us part and my husband is still with me now and we are happy and in love just like how we were for the first six months.I will be fully convinced if we get to celebrity our 50th year anniversary.I don’t want any body to see this article like it was meant to make you contact him.I am just sharing my experience on how Mutton helped me restore my marriage with spell casting and i should tell you he does not charge for his services all you are to do is to provide materials he will be needing for the spell casting.If you feel he can help you solve any of your problem contact him here ({okpapiamishrine@gmail.com Phone +27610682653} ) this was what i used to contact him good luck

May be someone out there knows what i am talking about and know how its like to be invisible mostly by the one person you are in love with. I was in love an unhappy married man.His marriage was going to limbo and i was the only one there for him. He only saw me as a friend but he was more than that to me. I wish i had the heart to tell him before the went ahead and got married then, may be he would never had be unhappy and may be we both would have been together. Yeah it turned out i was too much or a chicken. Though we are together now literally because of the spell Metodo Acamu a very powerful spell caster i must say helped me cast to make him love me just as i loved him. A lot of people may have different opinion as to if what is did is wrong or right but really, it do not matter because he was in pain and his life was falling to pieces and i was his friend who was in love with him. I knew he was going to be happy with me and he is now. For the first time in three years i have he really happy i mean he tells me every time how free he feels . We are perfect together and i know we are always going to be like this. This would not be the case if not for the spell Metodo Acamu helped me cast. All that was required of me were just the materials that was going to be used to prepare the spell and note Metodo Acamu does not do spells for money i wish i knew why but i do not. He told me that i should get the materials needed for the spell preparing he told me to get them myself and if i can’t find the materials all i had to do was send the total cost for it so he can help me. It wasn’t easy to get them but i found them but it took a lot form me i would advice against getting them yourself because there are not only hard to but also difficult to mail believe me. I am only writing this short article for those out there with problems similar to the one i had. If you want to contact him use this email its what i used metodoacamufortressx@(yahoo). com rewrite this email in the usual email standard form for use…

May be someone out there knows what i am talking about and know how its like to be invisible mostly by the one person you are in love with. I was in love an unhappy married man.His marriage was going to limbo and i was the only one there for him. He only saw me as a friend but he was more than that to me. I wish i had the heart to tell him before the went ahead and got married then, may be he would never had be unhappy and may be we both would have been together. Yeah it turned out i was too much or a chicken. Though we are together now literally because of the spell Metodo Acamu a very powerful spell caster i must say helped me cast to make him love me just as i loved him. A lot of people may have different opinion as to if what is did is wrong or right but really, it do not matter because he was in pain and his life was falling to pieces and i was his friend who was in love with him. I knew he was going to be happy with me and he is now. For the first time in three years i have he really happy i mean he tells me every time how free he feels . We are perfect together and i know we are always going to be like this. This would not be the case if not for the spell Metodo Acamu helped me cast. All that was required of me were just the materials that was going to be used to prepare the spell and note Metodo Acamu does not do spells for money i wish i knew why but i do not. He told me that i should get the materials needed for the spell preparing he told me to get them myself and if i can’t find the materials all i had to do was send the total cost for it so he can help me. It wasn’t easy to get them but i found them but it took a lot form me i would advice against getting them yourself because there are not only hard to but also difficult to mail believe me. I am only writing this short article for those out there with problems similar to the one i had. If you want to contact him use this email its what i used metodoacamufortressx@(yahoo). com rewrite this email in the usual email standard form for use.

is $380,000 even that much!? my dad made $2 million a year for 7 years plus $1 million+ in previous years combined! but he acts like he makes 20,000 a year. Won’t spend over $30,000 on a car and complains about anything that costs over $10 ugh

As a moderately successful man that has now fallen on leaner but not necessarily hard times I came to this page to read about how ladies think. For some time I have suspected the only reason why my partner is with me is because of the lifestyle she can enjoy from the money I earn. By no exaggeration, every cent I earn goes on trying in vain to keep her happy so that we are happy. I fell so deeply in love with my partner but now I have no choice but to ask for our monthly spending to drop she has become viciously hostile, mentally and at times physically abusive to me. All I want in my life is to feel the closeness in spirit to someone who will stay together with me until the end. My trust in how women are, how they think and what they want is all but completely broken.

Been there, done that. I don’t honestly know if you can ever be 100% sure if a woman loves you for you unless you pretend to be “poor”. I clicked on this article for the same reason you did. Gold digging woman are disgusting trash. I have done “social experiments” on them. Like pulling up to a coffee stand in an old beat up car and asking a woman on a date. It is amazing the difference in treatment you get when you pull up in an expensive sports car. Yes almost all of them are gold diggers. I had a poor girlfriend who I helped tremendously. Paid her medical bills, took care of her vehicle needs, nice vacations. She let her true feelings out telling me that I was a “piece of garbage selfish A$$hole” when I wouldn’t pay off her student loans and send her to alcohol rehab. Not that I couldn’t afford it, but I hate being treated like an ATM machine. I have these problems and I am only 35 years old, an average 5’9″ tall, good looking and well built from working out all of my life. I have come to the conclusion that woman don’t actually love a man, they love what they perceive they can gain from him, or what he can do for her. Then you have to get a prenup and everything else. That is why so many men, moneyed or not are going MGTOW. I hate to tell you, but you will never be able to buy this woman’s happiness with money, she will bleed you dry. That is the kind of woman that I had, and I was much happier when I sent her down the road. I know the kind of closeness and love you are talking about wanting from a woman, but this one, unless she has an epiphany, will never give it to you. I have friends with old fashioned foreign wives that love them through thick and thin, truly for better or worse, for richer or poorer I have seen it with my own eyes, it does exist. You may have to start over. Good luck and God bless. As for me, time to hide the wealth again and find a down to earth farm girl.

Gold digging women are disgusting trash?? What about men who fuck and objectify women with no intentions of caring for her? Women who want financial security vs men who just want a good looking person to bang….What sounds more unreasonable and shallow? “It is amazing the difference in treatment you get when you pull up in an expensive sports car”…Well it is amazing to see the difference between how I’m treated when I’m dressed “sloppily” and in a fat suit vs. how I’m treated when I’m showing a face full of makeup and as little clothing as possible. Men don’t actually love women, they just like what they think women can do for them. Yeah…it goes both ways dude.

I am a woman, and I come from a well off family. I have always worked hard and dated men not based on income or looks but what I thought was love. My first relationship was fully abusive (he beat me because he wanted to control me and could not handle any men looking at me) I left, of course. My next long term started ok, but he would make me feel like garbage, tell me mutual friends didn’t like me (which wasn’t true, he just wanted to control me), he told me my businesses would fail, etc, Im an idiot and stayed with him 7 years…. the last 3 years he was financially dependent, but Im loyal and kept hoping he would get it together. 2 years after we broke up he told me he didn’t know what to do with his life now that he didn’t have my money…. :( And my latest relationship is in a similar financial bracket as I, but it took him 5 years to ask me to marry him and only after I left him twice and cried because I couldn’t believe that I was once again in a relationship that was going no where. And for the record, I am quite attractive, fit, work out 1-2 hours a day, make a reasonable living and don’t depend on my partners for money. I have low self esteem when it comes to my personal life, but high when it comes to my work. I am good at what I do. I keep hoping that I will find love and be able to have children, but I think my time for that is getting tight… So it goes both ways I guess. There are male gold diggers out there. And men need to stop leading us on if they have no thoughts of marriage. Its not fair to women. Most of us want kids and marriage and love. I’m honestly really tired of it all, and I find that this latest set back has brought be to a really dark place where I feel like I have nothing left to look forward to. Money and making money is fine but if you aren’t in love and don’t have love…. what’s it all worth? Friendships are hard to maintain, everyone I know works hard and long hours, as do I. If you don’t have family, you don’t really have anything to build towards. At least for me. I know some people are really happy without.

I’m writing to u because not all girls are like that.. Most country girls are down to earth would choose a day out horse back riding over a vacation.. Unless that’s just me.
I feel bad for u… I feel bad she was an alcoholic.. But don’t give up there are a lot of girls out there that have motive they have good incentives.. I’m an average girl.. But everyone exept the person I’m with tell me I’m such a kind person I have customers come to me random to just thank me for helping them thanking me for being thoughtful thanking me for taking the time to just b understanding and kind.. Sometimes the good girls are disguised.. They work in retail.. Or ur local shops.. Take time to talk to one see i work in a pretty wealthy town.. I don’t judge.. Lol in fact if I guy ever rolled up next to me in a nice car or a beater.. I’d be confused.. Especially if it’s a nice car In fact I probably wouldn’t even think that ur actually talking to me and keep going.. And then me being a careful loyal girl.. The first thing I always say to someone trying to talk to me I’m in a relationship.. I believe to hide nothing.. Always tell the truth.. And if u ain’t got nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all..

You could always find a successful and/or wealthy girl. Trust me, as one of these people I have no desire for a guy’s money. In fact, in my relationships I do the whole “pretend to be poor” thing as well. That, and I insist on paying my own way.

Bitter, much? If you were so great, you would have no problem meeting and keeping a great girl. The one you mentioned was not, but that doesn’t mean all women are like that, and it’s extremely ignorant and childish to say so. My ex bought me a brand new mkz for my birthday in our 6 year together… Then lost absolutely everything. I stayed as I loved him deeply, and got a job, then 2 jobs. He wasn’t rich when I first met him, either.
My ex was abusive. Does that mean all men are? Of course not, what flawed logic. As is yours.

okay maybe u will find me somewhat ‘unique’ but let me spare u some advice. why do u have to limit your life to finding someone to be with forever? don’t get me wrong but isn’t it some sort of empowering to live on your own? happiness does not come a from a person. be kind towards others and have a great personality and character can also give one’s happiness. of course, the ultimate happiness come from God. when u have God and u feel His love what more do u need? I am perfectly happy and content just by loving God and live according to His will.

of course there are problems I encounter in my life but I never thought of it as a problem. being a nice person sometimes get u in trouble such as men easily fell in love with me or they thought I like them but that’s not it. I’m just nice to everyone. EVERYONE. regardless they are rude or somewhat cold towards me. it’s the way u live ur life u know. in fact, I don’t have one guy friend because they will start being awkward or shy around me after a few minutes talking to me. I hate that. how can I be friend with a guy or communicate with them normally if all they think about is they want to be more than friend with me? GOD, THIS IS HARD! I’m not even graduate yet I always get these kind of treatment. how am I suppose to work with men when I enter real life? I mean the work field. this is what concerns me the most as I had encounter with many man that gave their numbers, expecting me to call or message them because I’m not a woman who easily gave their number to a guy they barely know. maybe I’m too friendly but believe me, I have tried to keep it low when I communicate with men but still they easily like me on the spot. u think I like that? absolutely not! I want men to act normal towards me. not suddenly give me special treatment or being shy and smiling sheepishly everytime they talk to me. God, all I ask for is normal treatment.

so the point is, when u being completely submitted to God, be kind, and help those in needs, make them happy, then u will be happy too. u don’t need a human to make u happy. as long as u happy with urself, u will live a happy life. trust me. I live by this motto and so far, it’s men who come after me, but I never reciprocate their feelings. maybe I’m afraid of men affection towards me. I don’t know. being born as the only girl in siblings does make u an independent person.

take my advice okay. like I said, don’t limit ur happiness or put ur happiness in someone’s hand. u don’t need someone to make u happy as long u have God.

Not all are women are “Gold Diggers” lol. I divorced and was raising my five children, working 3 jobs, preparing two meals/daily and running a business, so that we would have much extra and I would not accept child support for necessities/desires. I then met my second husband after a year of courting, he asked me to marry him and allow him to take care of me and my children. We married and even though I knew that I did not have to continue working, to maintain my lifestyle, I kept working and running my business. He begged me to at least let go of two jobs, telling me that I worked too much and I should hire a housekeeper because he was tired of watching me take care of everyone and not have adequate time for myself. He told me that I was the first woman that loved him for him. He passed away in 2012. He was a fabulous man, so classy, smart, strong, honest, loving, fun, etc. I should have cloned him lol. My good friend told me that I was in trouble if something were to happen to him, she was right…No one has compared to him since. It is not just about money either.

To all those rich men out there… Just so you know… The next time u go to your local grocery store, cvs, bank any of those there are girls like me who would love a simple hello and thank you.. . I live pay check to pay check.. No successful relationships and two beautiful little boys. Im ambitious I wish I can go to school everyday.. But my children need me I’m with someone but it seems it may not last.. He doesn’t work near as much as I do although he does help me with my kids… He acts like he is rich tho.. Constantly messing with my image.. Telling me I’m not skinny enough.. I work 40+ hrs sometimes and take care of all household work while he pretty much sleeps all day. He always tells me I’m a mess up.. Any way.. That’s was more of a rant.. I hear stories of women who treat men who try to do everything for them all the time of the women being horrid and horrible.. My main goal in life is to become a pediatric rn, I want to work with children or the mentally ill.. I want to help people.. I would love to be able to walk out of my house knowing the guy in with can handle the house hold.. Cook mabye clean even.. Idc about money… I don’t care about how much u have I care about love.. All that is just extra.. I mean don’t get me wrong not having to worry about not having money at all it must feel great.. I’m the type that would still worry tho.. I would still want to go to work.. Or go to school get degrees for what I love to do.. Join an organization I would feel free knowing that if I wanted to volunteer I would be able to and I wouldn’t have to worry about not getting my pay check cut and having no money… I look at these women who seem to not have a clue as to how lucky they are to have someone by they’re side ready to help u.. I can’t ask for help from my partner he can’t help me.. He is tired of “helping” with my kids.. All I have is one day…. So the next time u see someone working at ur local stores send a good vibe for me… Do a good deed.. Never judge a book by the cover!

Then why are you with someone who constantly insults you?!
Grow up and learn to stand on your own two feet. Pay your own bills without relying on a guy and for heaven’s sake, STOP BREEDING. If you can’t feed ’em (or care for them properly), don’t breed ’em!

I never said I couldn’t do it on my own.. I meant to say I don’t want to feel owned by another person for trying to live life with them… I never said I can’t feed them.. It’s easier when two people help each other and r spect each other, I’m also trying to evacuate this person from my life.. It’s not easy when someone will Hurt u physically…

You dated the wrong girl. I don’t like my man paying for me unless it’s a date even then I’ll pay for dates sometimes. For his bday I bought him football tickets for him and his dad. My BF makes more then enough to support both but I hate where he works, I want him to pursue his dream job even if it means we are poorer. Netflix and chill is still a good date lol.

It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.

I want say something for those who say about us ( ladies wanting rich guy) so many bad things….I’m separated after 12 years of marriage, few other relationships but I have many friends with opinion like mine. Why I want rich guy ? Because I finished with ‘sponsoring’ partner/s when I do my best, work hard night and days (financial specialist within government organisation) to pay bills, golf or horse lessons for my daughter, drive nice car, live in nice home with seeing basic stuff aren’t done by my partner at home, move out means me literally liftin heavy boxes, promises aren’t keep and the only what is done is work ( employment). I’m tired and just want strong, independent guy who will be real partner to share life with. I don’t want weak pu*** who put everything on my shoulders, I’m not materialistic, empty lady but I’m not gonna be in relationship any longer with someone who only take!

It’s a complicated world. Wealth is great, but dignity perseverance and hardwork is more satisfying than searching for a rich man. I’ve dated 3 billionaires according to my countries standard… I felt like a furniture most of the time..when around them. Il rather marry a working class average man now, and get all the love and attention when I get back home to him. Then work together on him becoming a billionaire.

Doctors and lawyers often marry their classmates I know, I met my spouse in medical school. i think someone has been watching Pretty Woman too much. You do know that many American women are high earners? Whatever gender you are, invest in yourself and you will attract a partner who compliments your skills.

Ha,ha,ha,sorry to disappoint you,90%of doctors sleeps with nurses because nurses are hookers chasing for the poor idiots (and that’s exactly why they become nurses)and most of the doctors are frustrated impotents :))) when I go to advanced surgery congresses,I’m one of the very few (young)women (doctors) there…

HOw incredibly rude!! My mother has been a nurse all her life and never was she ever a prostitute for the doctors! She believes in her cause to care for the sick and ailing. you are very insensitive for posting such an informatory comment. Additionally, not all nurse are women! many good nurses are also men, so where does that fit in your inflame!

I’m a nurse also and haven’t slept with, or pursued a doctor. That’s ridiculous. Now, my construction husband believes – since I.ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and shad bilateral mastectomies – that he can go on discreet affair dating sites and frequent strip clubs. So are all construction guys douche bags? HaHa- probably. And he just lost a respectable, respectful, loyal and intelligent NURSE!

Its not the end of the world. Ive seen amazing reconstruction surgeries that are beautiful-working from nothing, and turning out to look better than most womens natural breasts. My advice to you is to remember that your a survivor! And that life goes on. You can and will, do and be, complete and better…im not just saying that. Its a reality if u want it. let go of any heartache and take what you deserve for your life, be happy. Congrats to you! Your so strong!

Wow as a nurse they later became a lawyer I find that the most insulting thing I have ever heard. I became a nurse never once thinking to catch a doctor and very few nurses I know ever married or dated any.

I love your answer JustMe. I am a female and went on from being a nurse to getting my doctorate in nursing- DNP. Being any type of nurse certainly does not constitute being affiliated with being a hooker. It sounds like the original female surgeon poster is lonely and in pain from being hurt in her own relationships. She is clearly lashing out in a demeaning manner. I hope she finds what she is looking for…and as for a surgeon, I’m sure she knows she made a very ignorant, rude and generalized statement stemming from her own experiences.

I dated a millionaire once and even though he worked very hard to get to where he was (he was a high school drop out) I found him to be very cheap on dates like not tipping waitresses and taking me to strip mall Chinese restaurants even told me one day “I’m used to girls giving me gifts”. He was the biggest A hole I have ever dated.

Actually, nurses have less debt and earn higher than average for a 2-4 year degree. Most doctors 35-50 years old still pay off their loans. They do not even have the money to buy high class cars.
Nurses are professionals dedicated to serve patients. They usually give more support than busy and arrogant doctors. Nurses deserve respect and not judgement.

I apologize in advance for this book I posted
However, I feel it was needed

I waited until I’ve read everyone’s comments and points of view and I both agree and disagree with the two. On the one hand here’s a woman whose fully equipped to take of herself. So why spoil and or give her the privileged life when she’s only here for some seasons and a reason. I completely understand due to the fact I experienced it personally. I took care of two guys in my life who used me and left me broke, homeless, and with a background to boot. Then comes to find out they get married to someone who provides stability since I wouldn’t. However, me being a woman myself, what woman don’t dream of being a princess out of some fairytale except those women who’ve accumulated their own, and vice versa.

YOU ALL MESSES UP WHEN YOU:
1. YOU DIDN’T TRUST YOU’RE HIGHER POWER. (Because you tried to do it yourself, when you don’t know the first place to start looking). STOP LOOKING SHE/HE WILL FIND YOU
2.LOOKING FOR A RICH MAN/WOMAN WITH NOTHING TO OFFER. (If you don’t have money then what is so unique about yourself besides sex, cooking, cleaning and looks do you have to offer, due to his/her fortune there will be a young maid to take your place whenever you get besides yourself). KNOW YOUR WORTH

3. REGAURDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK THAT’S HIS MONEY. ( Meaning you’re where you started from if and when he leaves for the next prize star).

The difference between a low in social standing woman like myself, is that I’m not looking for a wealthy man. I know for a fact that everything he is and does with every fiber of his being is to pave a way for me. Because My CREATOR made me from his rib, I am only half of a whole person without him for he is my ADAM and I’m his EVE. His military prowess, and power makes me week in the knees from masculinity . He’s tall between 6″1- 6″3, not sexy but handsome ,loving towards friends and family. When my future husband is around everyone will feel like they are in the presence of Royalty because is my King my life. There will be no need to go looking for attention when he’s not home because my Man is highly blessed in that department so I can hold out. Besides he’ll give me an allowance to make up for the time he is not there. All the while knowing I’m following my dreams and ambitions to provide a better living for the Earth and all species that dwell within it(is my destiny). My Love will be my strength, durability, and my backbone and I his ptsd medicine. Jhahod my love I’m waiting. From Nataya

Forgive me, I’m such a romantic but I believe in THE POWER OF THE ALL MIGHTY CREATOR. Which is why I know my other half is out there we just haven’t met yet.

Please understand that it doesn’t take a rich man/woman to be rich, happy, and content. What it takes is loyalty, honesty, trust, most of all communication and the willingness to compromise.Someone who you can share your deepest secrets without fear of how it may seems or sound because he/she truly understands everything and anything about you . Knowing that you have someone who will piss you off before you go to bed but wake you up happy just because he/she are next to you .
.
Somebody to share the struggle , the good, the bad, the best, and worst times without breaking bad. Now that’s what I call love.

I liked what u said. I bet I have a story u have never had before. Its incredulous. I want to tell u. I wonder what u like. What u talk like. I woder lots of things. Lol. Im sure u do to. Look forward to hearing from you.

Time and time I fantasize
About someone who is all mine
Love so rare its been defined
Forbidden since the ancient times

Drowning deep in impure thoughts
Perverted sex that stained my heart
Lingered in my after thought
The name of who have stole my heart

Obsessive fantasy leave my mind
Controlling thoughts that steal my time
Visions of one so divine
His face not clear this is a crime
Bless me with your loving grace
That locks my heart within your brace

Try trading in the stock market,Julianna, It is VERY lucrative. Use software to get the winning edge as the ups and downs of the stock market are controlled by computer algorithms. So you fight computer with a computer. Once you can relax about the money, because you have accumulated it on your own $, you will feel less desperate to a rich guy and more attrative. Next, mingle with where those who are rich hang out. He will come your way. Also, when you have your own, your need for the type of companionship changes.

I came across this site i find it funny you read articles of men looking for good women just be friends but at the end always always send photo im coming out of 30 yr relationship where im glad i never married i have 4 beautiful daughters from him but caught him in bed with my younger cousin so i walkd out and left everything now i just work and dream of someone coming into my life and treating me well and being nice and not taking every penny i had i never really had that in my life someone that spent time with me or bought me stuff guess i was the idiot but lesson learned and not gonna make me bitter towards men cause im sure theres still few good ones out there

I grew up poor. Not living on the streets poor, but longing for money to buy stuff. As a young child, if I wanted a pair of jeans, I had to go find an odd job like weed a garden/s or mow some lawns to earn enough to buy a pair of jeans. For that matter, any kind of item I wanted I had to go find a way to earn the cash ( legally) in order to purchase what I wanted. My parents had a house and property.. but divorced when I was young. hustling odd jobs was the only way I could make money as I wasn’t old enough to get a “real” job.

When I finally graduated from high school I did so with less than a D- average.

While growing up, my father always told me that as a lady, I needed to mingle with those with money. He told me to look at the back ground of the family and look at the family values, he said, the lady and her actions is what is behind the man driven. . he told me to cling to God of the Christians and build a relationship with this God. He told me to spot ambition and introduce myself with that individual. As a fresh out of high school gal, who never got along with anyone, I longed for friendship. I longed to be married, I longed to have a family of my own.

I got my first job the summer after high school. After a few days of work there, this 18year old boy walks in the door. After building a relationship with God, I learned to hear/sense his voice. Not really audibly but intuitively. When this boy walked in the door, God said, there he is, the one you will marry.

I wanted money. financial security too ladies, but who wants money if you don’t have a friend to walk through life with?

After a little while of working at the same table prepping medical documents to be recorded on microfilm, this boy asked me out. It was my first date. I accepted.

Now this boy being fresh out of high school too had no money! His parents, were the same financial situation as my own. So what was the difference between this boy and all others? He was a wonderful friend! But I also noticed, he climbed in the company quickly! He was smart, efficient, intelligent, and became the favorite of his bosses quickly. He had wonderful work ethic while at work, but was always late, not just by 5 min but sometimes an hour late to work EVERY DAY!! He got away with it because, he was so good at everything he did at work. he had a Midas touch. I latched onto him, not only because he was my best friend, but also, he was like following an ambulance with the lights on and blaring clearing the road for any one behind the ambulance.

He and I dated for 9 years. I never thought he would ever ask me to marry him. He kept telling me he wanted to “keep his options open” many would have left him. But I saw his abilities and admired him for them. He was never rich, however was a good steward of the money he had. We did finally marry. but dove straight into financial ruin as he tried to pursue his own business.

So now this is starting to sound like the wrong story for this site right? Wrong. Him and I continued on. Following the secrets of the book “his needs, her needs” My husband trusted me, when we finally claimed bankruptcy, he was free from his ruin and we began again on $4000.00 TOGETHER! We committed to live debt free ( this is key!!) Moved in with my mom! I barely worked at all through out this whole process. I was sick with a undiagnosed illness that lasted years. he was tested at the unemployment office. They showed him his tests and it showed he could choose ANY career he wanted. He score in the 200th percentile on all categories! He picked computers. They accepted his choice and told him they would pay for his training, but before he started training, he got a job In Information technology. Like the days of when I met him originally, he moved up quickly like an ambulance blaring and and clearing the way for anyone behind him. the difference this time? he made enough to buy groceries and pay bills and save a bit.

He presented me with the idea that we should still live “poor” as we both were used to. mean while he poured as much money as he could into the employee stock purchase program. Invested in the maximum $$ he was allowed to in the 401 K program with company matching program and found a way to purchase an IRA. This was an aggressive plan. But we were not uncomfortable. We still ate ok and had a roof over our heads. With in three years of this plan, we had saved enough to put a down payment on a house. Then I gave birth to my first but last child since I was 39 years old by the time she was born. We were over our heads in debt with this house but we remained true to our conviction that we could still live “poor” while hiding the $$ from ourselves in various programs available to him while still making the house payments. The house payment was the only debt we had at the time.

You see earlier his brother choose to work for Oracle. and purchased every stock option he was allowed to as well. His brother by the time he was 35 was a multimillionaire!

With in 5 years of purchasing the house, he paid it off. So where did that money go? the house payments now that we didn’t have that responsibility? More investments. More hiding our money from ourselves while “living poor”
It took 11 years of aggressive saving and “living poor” making more money than we spent driving old cars and “living poor”. and staying away from credit cards. He found a job that he was good at.

Behind his brother by 15 years, with in 11 years of his first IT job moving up in this industry, He is now a millionaire thus, by marriage so am I.

Ladies, is a millionaire mean that you can buy fancy cars and dine out every day? drip with diamonds and gold? designer clothing, hand bags and shoes? Is being a millionaire mean that you can buy WHAT EVERY YOU WANT? I hate to disappoint, but it doesn’t mean that at all. I wonder though if being a billionaire means that these days tho’

what being a millionaire does mean that if we do not continue to aggressively save, we won’t be millionaires at all. Its not a fear, it is reality. these days, a million can vanish in a few spending splurges and then you really are back where you started. Not wise!

What being a millionaire does mean, is that my house I live in is paid for. The house is an 1800 sq foot home that isn’t fancy but is paid for. in a postage stamp yard housing community. We both drive newer cars instead of beaters, but mine was purchased used in 20012 and his was purchased new for $13,000.00. what it does mean is that we are saving for an 18 acer estate raw land we can developed ourselves for our own use and have accumulated enough for it’s purchase but not development. What it means is that after this large purchase where our paid for house will pay for the estate development, we will continue to save. At a certain point when the INTEREST can pay the same amount as his income now, while working, he can retire.

When you spend down the principle ( the original amount we saved), you don’t have money to be free. What being a millionaire means is that I can purchase organic foods instead of regular foods and when I go to the grocery store I don’t have to choose. I have a budget but it is a reasonable one and can purchase any food item I want with in that budget. But shopping for nice clothes is still out of the question.

What it means is that the more money you make the more you are taxed. The more the government finds ways to take it away from you. In order to live legally, you must pay this embezzlement from the US government. and there is a certain point where your income is the same as someone making 1/2 the amount as you and being taxed less. Which really isn’t fair!! But even through this embezzlement, you can still make and save a million if you are committed to it. There comes a curtain point where you can surpass this 1/2 point and begin to gain, again once you actually can save past it. but it is a tough plateau. Once you save past the plateau it gets easier to save.

So marrying rich? or marrying wise I think marrying wise is more the key here. Find a friend. Let me say that again! FIND A FRIEND YOU CAN WALK THROUGH LIFE WITH and marry him. Happiness doesn’t have to come with a bank account. moving through life together. walking together, striving together, supporting each other, praying together, saving together. You have to agree to aggressively save no matter the challenge.. these are keys to financial accumulation.

If you regard taxes as embezzlement then you do not deserve to live in the freest and most democratic country in the world. If you resent taxation per se then you perhaps should live alone in a forest like an animal and forsake all of the advantages of living in a civilized society. Do you also resent giving to charity? Taxation is excessive indeed in SOME states and cities (including where I live) and we do need greater fairness in the tax code but I resent people who think taxation is theft.

Expensive hobbies, memberships, travel, affluent neighbors and friends, keeping up appearances requires a lot of income which means you pay a lot of taxes. Meanwhile, yoga, exercise, music, movies and living under tax radar (below $35,000) with tax exempt income in a comfortable paid up home with no debt means you pay NO TAX. I don’t resent paying taxes because I haven’t paid any since 2011 and I have never received any public assistance. Net worth, not income is the key to long lasting wealth and a 401K is taxable income when it is withdrawn so at some point investing in real estate as a tax shelter and holding stocks that pay some dividend keeps you tax free.

EJ,
I on the other hand am happy to pay my taxes and child support to keep your backside warm. But, let me share the math.
For example, say I make a million in sales at 100 % profit= 500,000.
Drops me into a 55% tax bracket 260,000
Minus child support for kids who dont see a penny of it- 32% 80,000
money to run a factory and company is only 13% remaining.
I employ 33 people and am not nor will I get ahead.
I can make a billion in profit and same structure. Either we live in a capitalist society or a communist one. Half way for 1/2 wits does not work.

I absolutely loved & agree with your story & am very thankful for the financial insight as I came from a very poor background however, I work hard to provide yet I do not save! I will now after reading this! Thank you for sharing your arduous road with us!

I wonder how many women’s perception of a “rich” man changes with financial independence? I guess rich can be in the eye of the beholder. I’m not sure if I feel worse for the women who have to change who they are to ‘attract + hold on to’ a rich guy or for a guy who may not ever know if his girl is there for him or just his cash.

Pre-nup all the way. If everyone is in it for the right reasons then it protects both.

I’m a female 21, and I’ve always thought being with a rich man will complete my life. Twice there were extremely wealthy guys who showed much interest in me and didn’t know I knew they were well off. And I tried to be attracted to him thinking about his money but I just could not fake it. There has to be some level of attractiveness in order for a relationship to work so a women who starts treating a wealthy man ill mannered was never attracted to him and just wanted his money. Me personally would love to fall in love with a man who is honest loyal and rich would be a plus. I see so many comments from men not feeling loved from their wives when there are attractive women like myself ready to love someone unconditionally. Just I guess never in the right place at the right time. Love doesn’t have a price tag so all the rich men out there reading this, if any, make the woman you want fall in love without showing her your money let her love you from little dates nothing to extravagant until she’s earned a place in your heart. Make each other laugh hold hands do things you wouldn’t normally do. Never be too nice because she will take advantage but know the difference of respecting. The way I’ve attracted rich men were my looks and personality I’m very honest about everything but although you may be rich doesn’t mean I’ll take your number. You have to find a humble rich man which I’ve havent found so that’s why I’ve stayed single for so long. You will be much happier

According to financial samurai’s “semi-sliding” scale, I guess I fall into the category of a “rich man” (offhand and on average $730k/yr income depending plus my business equity worth and investments) and I DEFINITELY see that women who would normally be out of my reach are more interested in striking up a conversation. I don’t think it buys you an automatic “in” with those kind of women but it certainly helps.

I’ll say that (for me at least) finding a woman looking for a rich man is a scary prospect…what happens if they find someone richer? It’s really a bad investment…trading beauty for money (that’s a crude way to break it down but…). For me, the money just opened some doors to women I hopefully would’ve liked without the money anyways.

Your contribution to this article shows intelligence and apparent success. To be a self made millionaire, intelligence (and lots of luck) are of the paramount importance. I happened to have been married to a millionaire 10 years ago. At the time we met, I had no idea. We were both involved politically and just happened to have met over coffee in a hallway during break time. I found him interesting, intelligent, witty, and naturally self assured. He kept trying to date me, but I thought he was too old for me when he mentioned he had grandchildren! Finally I went to a sports event with him and discovered he was very fun to be with. We ended up traveling the world, enjoying his horses winning many races, and basically walking through life together. I wasn’t looking to meet a rich man, so easily and agreeably signed a pre nup he presented. Towards the end of his life, (he died from prostate cancer) his family started causing trouble and he sided with them. Therefore turbulence and controversy followed. However, we still got together and in spite of his family’s objections, took trips to New York, cruises, etc. We loved each other to the end. His money was never a major force with me; it only allowed us to walk in, and play in, any world “playground” we chose. He was a man of strength who taught me how to hobnob with the rich and famous, as well with the poor and lowly. I would do it all over again.

Great story. All of my success comes from the tech world, notably software engineering.

The wealthy people I hang out with are usual casual people who did very well during the startup and VC bubble. We get political for financial reasons but we don’t really hobnob or travel to meet sultans or Presidents or anything.

I’m considered wealthy and successful by scale I suppose but I don’t make $10MM a year or anything. I could within reason purchase most anything I wanted at any point that wasn’t aimed at the ultra rich but I’m a fairly normal MidWestern guy…just living life and enjoy being a businessman (although I didn’t really enjoy being an engineer…we’ll just call it a stepping stone).

A relationship based strictly on finance alone is bound to be a disaster! One may as well hire a high class call girl.
Yes, money is definitely nice to have but you have to have a connection. Otherwise the time spent can be miserable for both parties!

Patrick why were you awake at 5:05 am looking at this article, and exactly what is it that you do for a living if you dont mind. How is it that you made your fortune. Im just incredibly curious to be honest. Thanks.

I was a software engineer by trade. Came in during the high of the startup and VC bubble and did well selling companies off in a grey waters scenario (tech giants buy your startup so they don’t have to compete with you).

As for why I was up, can’t remember. I pull all nighters often. I’m not the “LinkedIn” rich guy who structures his life and has a super tight schedule. I’m fairly flighty and erratic.

Do you like the feeling Perhaps be it not for your income these women (girls all dressed up really) normally wouldn’t be your cup of tea? I do understand how having money makes you more confident but I do hope that’s not the only reason your confident! Best of luck to you in your search for love!

I think confidence in this scenario may be a bit of a shotgun term. The more of anything valuable (looks, money, intelligence, whatever) you have the more confident you are (at least in my mind).

Since college I’ve been fairly successful and I’d like to think that success will keep growing and with it my confidence. Not sure if that answers your question but I guess it boils down to, I was a confident guy, now I’m more confident.

Patrick you are fortunate to own your own company. I’ve been an electrical engineer for 10 yrs and I am no where near rich. I do well and have very well funded retirement investments but I’m looking for other investments so I can build my wealth. I’m leaning toward real estate.

Another thing that people are failing to point out is that rich men generally like literate women. Pretty bodies are easily bought and more conveniently rented. If a guy is investing in the “relationship” he wants more than just looks. Even for a sugar baby. They want a girl that can appear at events with them. Behave well in public. Speak intelligently. Understand conversations. Witty enough to contribute, clever enough to shut up.

If it’s a power imbalanced relationship where youth/beauty/desperation meets rich/successful/less attractive/not charming/etc they want more. They don’t just want the attention of a pretty girl, they want the status that comes from an illusion of choice. Even if it’s an almost straight transaction the girl that speaks well seems like she could have chosen someone else to “take care” of her. It’s a greater challenge.

Wealthy men generally aren’t drawn to make longer term investment in girls that rite lik u don no how 2 speek an u jus need a man ain gunna cheet cuz u ha enuf of dat wit ur dum ex cuz he wuz so bad. Nobody cares about your bad past relationships. The rich man will think less of you because meeting your self proclaimed low standards is less gratifying than a woman who has the wit not to whine about people they chose badly.

The rich man wants a girl where others (and perhaps him too?) might believe she chose him for more than his wallet.

I think, if u have roof on your head when u sleep, feel warm when outside freezing, have enough food when u hungry, have some treatment when u sick, someone hugging u when u feel helpless..that’s rich people life..wherever n whenever u feel happy, u r the richest person in this world..that’s the point of this very short life

:) pretty a lot of dramas in here. I agreed with what you said. To feel “rich” is just going back to the very basic of shelther, food, love, warmth..etc.

Yet everyone wanted more, maybe it’s just the primitive needs of knowing that you and your next generation will be well taken cared for instead of worrying sick where your next meal will be coming from.

Here is my version of why am I even reading this article the first place. I used to be pretty naive and think that love will conquers all and it really doesnt matter if someone is rich or poor. Interestingly, I’ve been brought up that love exist and so do fairytales, because my parents are great example of one. So in my navie state of mind ,I’ve met those along the way who are just using me.

Maybe the guys that I’ve been choosing its just too poor form the start but good man.I was young back then and impatient to get married and start to build a life with them. Guess this turn them off pretty fast. I am in no way someone who plays any sort games and many guys do not appreciate things that are easy for them.

I’ve supported , encourages and challenges all my exes to be somewhat better( as my mom did for my dad, showing unconditional love) All of them did well financially at the end but we are no longer together.

Supporting someone is tiring and once they come into wealth they no longer appreciate those who have been standing by them all these years.Reason simple.. We have become the reminder of their “poor” pain.

It’s easier if someone have come to wealth all the while instead of having sudden wealth build up with them because they tend to change as they will have better looking woman after them anyway. Yes cruelity is such that a lot of woman chase after wealth but man chases after beauty. Just that the “currency” is different .Doesn’t means its wrong.

From first hand experience I’ve wasted years sticking on to” love” that changes after man coming into wealth.

I rather have someone who already been there and done that with full intentions to start real love n life. Even if its means someone who already have wealth to begin with.

Living with someone poor is quite a pain, that everytime will be brought to their level and encourages them to be better and having them leaving you after. You’ve become their used old cheap pillow.

Sadly the notion of seeking after a rich man have been misconstrued when I start mentioning it to friends. Not that I need someone to take care of my bills but I needed someone who can take care of themselves and not to relied on me.It’s exhausting!!

Izt the title is clear enough and main reasons for us all to be reading this article ? ;)so yes, hoping to find a rich man. Great article by the way!

I’m not saying I came here with no slightest bit of motive..but, the more I read all things above the more I realize, how ridiculous all of ‘that’..if I only have one penny in my pocket, I’ll give it willingly to anyone who need it more than me..u can say I’m naive , stupid, etc..but that’s the way I live..we are’nt the same. We live for to be happy, even u have a million dollars on your bank but u never content with that, u will never gonna be happy, we have our way to face this life..so, if u wanna be happy then be..don’t thinks unnecessary things

To be with a man just to have his money is not right. I’ve been there many times but nothing happens. They depend on their money and they will control you. It doesn’t mean that you are with these rich men you are rich. No. They are not stupid. Except to those who are madly in love to their girl.

Well everyone has their own kinks and fetishes. I’m sure there are plenty that would honor your request of soiling you. There is something that might be stopping it from happening. You say you want some guy to give you the life you deserve. There are few men, rich and poor, that are attracted to anyone who has an entitled attitude. What makes you deserve it anymore than the next girl? What have you given to this world that is so unique and valuable that you are owed anything? Unless you change your thinking and learn to live in gratitude and looking at life from the position of what can i give vs. what can I take, you will never achieve what you want. You only deserve to get what you put in. The universe has a remarkable way of always balancing things out over time. Unfortunately, it is no different for you than anyone else.

I am a professional, and also doing some investments. My appearance is considered as good looking. I just wish to meet a guy who truly loves me, treat me good and have at least similar financial status and family background as me. But i never met one till now.

Rich men that i have dated were being cool to me, and they often date a few girls at the same time ; while guys who treat me good seem to need my financial support if we got married, some of them even seem to be attracted to my money.

I am financially conscious. I can sing very well, i play piano, i can draw, i was an athlete in track and field in high school. I have a master degree. I have no problem in getting along with my colleagues and school mates so i suppose my character is okay.

But I have been single for many years. I don’t know what is my problem in relationship.

My Advice: Go out of the environment you would typically find yourself in, strip yourself of everything that shows you are financially secure, i don’t mean look poor, but have a natural and modest look. Go for charity walks, Go to places where you’ll meet people doing things for a positive cause, mix up, take interest and enjoy the activities and just be you. Hopefully the right man will come along.

don’t ask for advice from men they wouldn’t have a clue what they are attracted to, I bet you are to nice.. read some books like why men marry bitches.. women who are nice constantly wonder for decades why they are single..tis just for that reason only.. to nice..

That’s absolutely false. What you’re describing only applies in the opposite direction. Women are attracted to men who are aloof and aren’t easily controlled by women. Men on the other hand, especially successful men, seek out feminine women who are supportive, deferential and don’t feel the need to compete w/them. All one needs to do is take a look around at all the “strong, independent” career women in their 30’s and 40’s, who are still single and wondering why. If you’re a woman that gives off a masculine vibe, don’t expect a masculine, heterosexual man to be attracted to you, despite all the feminist propaganda being spewed in our culture. You can’t change nature no matter how hard you try.

Really, to get this far in the comment section and not drink from the well of advice given so far, why should a rich man be expected to give you the life you believe you deserve as well spoil you? I understand I’m not rich but I’m not poor. I try to educate and enhance my skills to become such an individual that can complement someone respectably and with flexibility. Interacting beyond my pretty face and slim body. Be interesting since he (or she) is trying to enjoy life too. Not just to grind out the gold and drop it in your lap because you believe you deserve it.

It is not so much that the procurement of a wealthy partner is a problem as such I have found. The problem as an educated, above average, fit, woman of means myself is that when once I was able to procure a partner with means he proved to be unworthy and incompatible in other ways. By that I mean he struggled badly with the demons of alcoholism which was just terribly heartbreaking for me as a potential spouse. Moreover, as his fiancée, due to his sheer addiction (some would coin this textbook late stage alcoholism due to denial) it became an absolute deal breaker.

I definitely struggled with my ultimate decision to part company with my fiancée. Ultimately, I know in my heart if I am to truly be happy in the long run in a marriage my partner must first love themselves and not turn to alcohol as an everyday means of coping. It was a difficult lesson to learn.

In the end, there seems to be beyond the statement ” I want to be spoiled because I deserve” a theme is shaping up for me the best interaction is to find the chararistic quality that attract you to one another and be delighted by that. It’s not so much the funds available but the world that can be bulit, sustained and nutured from the union providing a certain level of unlimited room to express, explore and support each others in inquiry about new ideas. With the understanding that there will be a bubble here or there. However, any kind of addiction(wine,drugs, cookies) is not attractive and should not be tolerated. Otherwise, and this is from experience, you will be embrrassred in public (and no, matter how much you try you will not fad into the woodwork).

My salary, my job and my family background are better than my boyfriend. He comes from a poor family background and he does not have a stable job.

My parents discourage our relationship because they think we are not compatible financially. They prefer me to get married to a man who is more financially independent. There are doctors going after me. My friends and colleagues also think that I should find a guy who has the same financial status and social status as me. Many people believe that there will be high chances of divorce if the wife can earn more than the husband due the ego of the men.

Sam-you hit the nail on the head again. After divorce at 35, took 7 years to find wife no 2. It’s virtually impossible to find a woman who fits requirements. Virtually all wanted kids and for me to look after them or had kids and wanted me to look after them. Finally found producer partner, not parasite partner. Im now the weak link on mortgage application. This eliminates the opportunistic behavior from women married to rich men and gives both people in the marriage complete freedom. If we got divorced, neither of our lifestyles would change. She doesnt need a penny from me and I dont need a penny from her.

I have read many of the comments here. I am a psychology major, who dares to dream. I went through a divorce that ended due to my ex husband cheating multiple times. I have helped many throughout my healing process when it comes to relationship advise. Money is material. It can be replaced. But your soul mate, the one you are destined to be with is irreplaceable. Your soul mate is your best friend, the one who listens to you, cares for you when you well and sick, the one you can laugh with, create memories, the one who will hold you, take time out of their day to cherish you, adore you, love you for you, not your title, or how much you make, the one who completes you mentally, physically, and spiritually. I am a single woman that knows what I want, and will not settle for anything less. I have been through many challenges in life, but through my challenges, have discovered who I am, how I can help others, and grow. I was married for eight long years, as I settled for what I thought I deserved and stayed in an unhealthy relationship. Since 2010 (the year I left that behind), I was able to complete a degree in psychology with a very high GPA, have a current 4.0, in the honors society, and have received over thirty thousand dollars. I am currently pursuing a degree in nursing. Even through I am in some school debt, I have allowed nothing to stand in my way of success. FEAR is a huge factor, even in relationships. I dare to dream, so I challenge each of you to find who you are before you find your mate, know what you want, and never settle for less. Remember life can be fun, full of endless memories, challenges come with it as well, and who you have standing next to you will help you discover your dreams and challenges and help you accomplish them if you have your soul mate. Money will come with time, it can be replaced, but again your soul mate cannot. Your soul mate needs to complete you! Money itself cannot complete you! (Just some food for thought)

Get to know yourself…spend time alone by yourself..discover your passions in life…your dreams…what you enjoy and do not enjoy…soul search! Ask your self questions…find inner meaning ….look back on previous relationships you have been in…what u liked…didnt like… think about what are you attracted to and why….discover you, then you will know what you want and do not want in a soul mate….when going on dates..ask questions without giving to much out about yourself to see if the other person is headed in the same direction you are…was there an inner connection? What this date or dates ok, boring, or I cant wait to see this person again…was there meat to the conversation? Or was it just plane and simple conversation? What type of person are you? Are you a complex thinker who needs to be with some that can think on deep levels or are you a simple thinker..the list can go on but I hope I answered your questions and concerns.

To marry a rich man is one thing! But to keep it going is another story! Yes he can afford what ever you like in life, but does he feel he is appreciated! There is a big difference between give and take! Can you cook a nice meal so he can be appreciated! although you don’t have to! Are you a person that can calm him down if he had a terrible day! Are you prepared to give him his own space! So having a rich man is one thing, but to keep it going is another! Nice things in life is fantastic, but is it appreciated by the good heart that is giving it?

Don’t underestimate a rich man because you are good looking or very pretty! It will last only for so long then you back to square one!

Work on these tips for an everlasting relationship and not money alone!

This thread is the saddest thing I have ever read in my life. Worse than Tolstoy. That a man or woman would be so incredibly focused on marrying/hooking up with an individual of high means grieves my heart. What ever happened to personal initiative to obtain what one desires? *sigh*

At the end of the day, you can’t love anyone more than you love yourself.

Water always seeks it’s own level.

Desperation and insecurity,of any kind, will, naturally seeks control and validation. Desperate and insecure people attract desperate and insecure people who seek to control them in order to validate themselves. The reason a poor girl focuses on marrying a rich man, regardless of what he demands of her, is the same reason the girl who felt ugly in high school stays in an abusive relationship, is the same reason the girl who didn’t get enough attention from her father sees her value in terms of being a sex object.

The point of this article is that if you want to engage in a healthy relationship, with a financially secure individual, then you need to be a healthy and financially secure person too- meaning money, or lack thereof, doesn’t scare you. You know what you want, and you’re willing to work for it, just like they did.

You’re also fiscally responsible, just like they are. You’re not looking for a handout, unless that hand is looking for yours :-)

If you want a sugar daddy, there are sites for that.

But Cindarella isn’t real. And Neither is Pretty Woman.

If you want to be with someone of value, be someone of value.

Lastly, my 7 fig earning boss told me he never got the appeal of a woman who could cook. Food comes from stores. Who cares? “I wanted a woman who could and would go out and earn 6 figures. Cuz that’s what I’m doing. And I don’t have time to cook.” – 30 yrs later still together, going strong, just bought their 3rd personal home in the carribean and 2nd investment resort property. Two beautiful sons who they love to death, and a life most would kill for.

Not everyone has lived privileged lives where they are given every opportunity to succeed financially and protected from others doing psychological, physical, or emotional damage to them.

So only a privileged elite should engage in any form of relationship, since they are the only ones who were afforded sheltered lives? The elites are not perfect people. They are made of glass and could easily be broken and made to feel worthless if put into a different environment or their circumstances changed.

Stupid articles like these in the 21st century, makes me wanna bang my head. Make your own money you stupid women who look for love based off on financial security and status. I hope your breed of people die out soon.

I know. I hope they die out soon too. And they can take those men who look for love based off of looks and sex with them.

If only humanity can bypass all the surface stuff and tap into the tender, unselfish and unconditional care for one another, it will be better. But, not in a shack or on a mat on the floor. Its just a condition people generally don’t strive for, in any century. And for centuries, mind you, income earned by women lagged behind men due to the structure of society, so now there’s still this issue.

However, it not a good thing to devalue a human being to the size of a bucket of coins or a great pair of legs either.

Its equally hard to find someone who just what’s to live and love/love and live without considering other factors that influence life. I’d contribute what I have as a conscientious effort to sustain the harmony of the relationship.

I wish they could love you for Who You Are and not what you havelove is supposed to be unconditional it’s not supposed to be about looks or things some people got things all screwed up I’m crying in the inside for someone just to love me for me and nothing more!

Well, Gender Equality, not every woman wants to toil or be fat and ugly like a worthless feminist. I will have freedom in the afternoon when I cook and clean and satisfy my man who in turn will provide for me. It’s give and take equally. If you want to work to feed your cats, that’s none of my business.

Comments like this come from people who are insecure, seething with resentment, and fearful. It sounds like you’re projecting your lack of self worth onto your ignorant concept of “feminists”. Obviously feminists threaten you terribly. Hey, if I lived a vapid life where I’d married the highest bidder to “provide for me”, I’d feel bad about myself, too. Many other women have the satisfaction and confidence of knowing they earned their own money from their accomplishments and talents; they don’t lazily consider all work to be “toil”; they are in great relationships; and they’re very attractive to boot. It obviously burns you up. :)

If someone could love you as well as God loves you that would be wonderful and refreshing to meet someone who loves God the same way you do that makes love more pure and untainted by the others who are seeking love and money and not really loving that person for who they truly are besides their wealthwhich is really sad how people only see the wrong thing in a relationship!

I’m one of the 700k per year guys. After a divorce, I went hunting again. The realty is that it’s pretty easy to score a 8-9 as a wife. I even had a friend who went to the Ukraine a brought back a “mail order” 10, twenty years his junior. I try not to stare at her when I visit but it’s hard!

For me, just an above average looking guy, I was afraid to marry the prom queen. I had a good idea of what I could manage before I had money and tried to stay in that range. Plus, I wanted someone who didn’t need my money. That means at least 100k in income.

Yes, her life is better with me, but at 100k, you have most of the luxuries in life. I figured no one is going to spend their life with someone just to upgrade their vacations a little.

So I guess what you leave out is that men smart enough to earn a lot are also smart enough not to get played. We don’t mind if success is part of our allure, but if it seems outsized, we worry.

Finally, while “renting” a hottie seems like an option, there really no intimacy, no reciprocation, and lots of latex. Its not even close, and its very scary because it is usually a crime, and disease still sometimes gets transmitted. The men who do that stuff just aren’t that smart. Talented, maybe: think actors, musicians, athletes etc, but not smart.

I like this POV. So where would you recommend a 23 year old hang out on weekends? I’m in law school and want to meet successful men. I just don’t see myself working hard and dating someone with little ambition. I like nice things way too much.

Sam- I usually love your blog, but this is sexist click bait- I hope this was written to be a joke. The comments in this thread are very depressing and really highlight how little many women value their own worth. I’m a 34 yr old woman, make around 300K a year and am happily married. I have my bachelors from a state school (no multiple degrees), am a daughter of immigrants and got to where I am by hard work and hustle. Anyways, I’m super happy that I don’t have to follow the advice in this article- rather than trying to “land” a rich man, we women should aim to become the power players in today’s economy.

To each her own. You can be a power player and prove to yourself, the world or to whomever all you want, but you cannot tell other women what they “should” do with there own lives. Your living situation is not the desired norm. Not everyone see’s the human population as two massive armies in oppostion (men versus women) but rather as unequal masses that function better as counter weights for each-other, just as you have found your own counter weight (closeted hubby or long haired wife). As long as men and women are (mostly) different, we can never be truly equal. Not a good or bad thing, thats just how it is.

A Relationship must be based on love, respect , deep intimacy , soul maturity and communication, any relationship depending on personality and outer looks will not stay for long time, If we love someone who is beautiful or successful , that is not love , but just an illusions, love is about acceptance and devotion.
Yes , they are a lot of gold diggers who prefer a rich man , and they are a lot of stupid rich man who chase beauty only , forgetting that a woman is not only a pretty body , but she has a soul and consciousness.
I am single , I would love to meet a man who can touch my soul and heart, I dont mind how much he is earning , but I do mind that he loves me unconditionally and inspires me to grow and be the best version of myself
The feminine is about love , joy and inspiration , that is what a man longs to find in a woman , to find his inner joy in her soulful eyes.
Yes sex is beautiful , but only when it is mixed with love ..we live in a society addicted to looks ,to outer achievement , and of course a gold digger will always find the ONE , the one who can sponsor her shallow shopping addiction ..cars and jewellery.
Any man deserves a woman who loves him truly and who inspires him to be great and magnificent, and any woman deserves a man who loves her unconditionally and who stand always by her side.
In the end happiness is an inside job , that our purpose in life , is to be happy and share our happy self with others.

I broke up with my Ex fiance a few months back, in what was a whirlwind of an altercation, and was destroyed, I won’t even bother lying about it. Night after night, I racked my brain for a way to get her back. She wasn’t returning calls, emails or texts and our mutual friends said she wanted nothing to do with me. I was in rough shape until i found Lord Azeez email lordazeez1990@hotmail. com and he guaranteed me in 3days and surely she called me on the phone and and apologized

I’ve always dated guys with the same financial proposition as mine. Or lower. Now I’m 38 and would just like the experience of dating a guy who has (way) more money than me.

Hahaha…

In a way, it’s a game, I guess. I want the experience. At the same time, I’m picky about who I spend time with, so it has to be a person I find interesting. Charming. Energy is important. And eyes. Nice bum doesn’t hurt but is not a requierement ;).

I think it would be nice to be spoiled. I can’t remember the last time that happened!

Well, love comes on it’s own terms so I’ll just enjoy the time in between :).

I humbly offer a different perspective. At 65, I am at a different age spectrum of many of your commenters. I have an FI that meets my needs now and heading into the future. A few years ago I suddenly lost my beloved husband of nearly 30 years. The struggle and searching journey proceeding from that massive loss has transformed much of my worldview. Chris and I shared an epic love. We started out with very little but a shared passionate attachment. But we held similar ethical standards, a commitment to hard work, the willingness to work in therapy when we derailed, love of parenting and so much more. We embraced joy and general silliness whenever possible. We put our love first…always.

From the bottom of my heart, I urge you all to seek a partner that SEES you, that loves you warts and all, that is profoundly grateful to lie next to you in bed each night and wake to you each morning. Money? Sure, it counts……but love and incomparable connection? Priceless. May you all be so rich.

I was invited to a charity gala and I didn’t go. Why? Because it was too last minute to find a date and I knew everyone there would be paired up and I didn’t want to be the only one alone.

I don’t care about getting a “rich” man– just a good man who can appreciate me for me. Yet it is still incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure why. Not to toot my own horn, but I do everything that is on your “women do this” list. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been in their mid thirties (I’m 26) and honestly usually know more about personal finance and money management than they do. I’m successful, own my own house, don’t depend on anyone to pay my bills, work hard, have big dreams, and know what it’s like to struggle (have lived through some childhood trauma). I never take things for granted because I learned very young that life can end in a second.

It’s strange to be writing about this on FS, but I suppose romantic life will intertwine with financial life at some point. My (married) friend and I were talking tonight, and she runs the household finances. I told her that I would want to do the same in my relationship.

I don’t need a “rich” man. But would like one who instead of using “you’re too good for me” as an excuse why they don’t want to be with me (4 of the past 5 guys I’ve dated have said this), is inspired to be better and to challenge ME to be better, too. I suppose it takes just one, but I’m ready for him to show up already.

I dated a rich guy. He was sexy, handsome, and had a stunning career. We even had interruption in our first date, some girls liked him.
I didn’t have any trick. I just came to him and be myself, joking, and laughed together. I didn’t ask his job, he told me later on. I didn’t see him as a wealthy man. I saw him as a person, just like me. Months later, I met another rich guy. And simply just joking around and laughed. Now I am close to a rich guy too. He is nice guy and polite. Most of this typr of guy has a freakin’ busy life, travelling from country to country. I expect nothing, just have fun, no pressure and just let things flow naturally…

Short Info about me:
I am 22 years old, student at a good University, German, living in Frankfurt City, quite cultivated and good looking.
My last relationships (2) have been with gentlemen of banking business (38 and 27 years old).
I got to know them through parties and events of the upper class.
Now I am dating a guy from a sugardaddy page – around 40 years old, super rich but terribly dominant. He is already talking about relationship, marriage and all this kind of stuff, but I do not want to be his devote little … who does what he wants for life. But it is a nice thing for the moment.
If there is someone thinking bad about me because of the big age difference and the belief of me doing that all because of money only – your thoughts are wrong. I preferred older men since I am dating at all.

Things I noticed/Things you should know:
1. I am very talkative and sometimes even too talkative. I needed to learn to cool down, let him tell you his story. Ask for some stuff he told you and show your interest. These men need to feel masculine and coveted.
2. Your look is your capital. Do as much sport as you can. I lost over 20 kilos just for being pretty enough – and even before I was described as quite attractive. Care about your hair, nail and skin care. Spots, spliss & Co are a no-go!
3. Be cultivated, intelligent and interested in culture – but never try to show him that your intelligence is bigger than his. These men are fixed on their ego, so give him what he needs.
4. One thing what was not mentioned yet (as far as my English let me understand this text): Sex! Do not share your bed with him before he has shown you his gentleman and chocolate side. But as soon as you sleep with him, it needs to be the biggest firework he ever had!
5. If you do not have access to upper class parties and Co and you do not want to play tennis or golf for getting to know someone – just go on a sugardaddy site.

My SUPER TIPs to you:
Just read a book about psychology – manipulation – priming & Co for getting to know how to catch someones attention. To make him depending on your attention and love. Do not tell too much about you and be mysterious. Care about your look, but do not annoy him with long talks about styling, beauty OPs & Co. No man is interested in such bullsh*t and therefore you got your friends.
And LET HIM BE THE MAN who needs to conquer you!

ps. sorry about my English, but for being German it is quite acceptable, isn’t it? :D

I would be thrilled to find the man that when I said, “Dear, you’ll never have enough to buy me”……He will drop to his knees and propose. At least I’d know he didn’t want a woman he could buy and definitely was trying to win my heart.
Sorry, but even growing up in a comfortable lifestyle, I was never too spoiled to take anyone for granted. Never so good in my own eyes that I appeared to believe myself better than others. A bowl of beans in a poor home should be cherished because it came from those who had little, except a caring heart. A man with those values is indeed wealthy.

I simply find this so amusing! What a truly funny article! At 38, I truly had no idea, either men or women were dating simply based on ones financial portfolio! All of the wonderfully amusing, yet sadly not at all original tips, on dating are and do truly apply to dating in general. So successful or more successful men and women are a catch and you’ve got to be a great fisherman or women or your true (suger daddy?) motives will be snuffed out and fast! Your own breeding and lack of maybe money or simply ambition to do anything other than marry some that you gals certainly could have (with hard work) made yourself is really a bit slutty!

So while any adjustment of the verbiage has and usually can be found in any “how to guide” on dating in general, this is a great start to @how to date and marry above your own class! All of it is, nevertheless, fantastic advice for men or women dating!

I (married to a Police Detective 16 years older, who owns a small startup LLC in Fine Jewelry. Married now for almost 14 years.)

Because if his age and friends and their wives I certainly (at 22 w/40 ish ladies around me waiting for me to eat my eords if give them any reason to truly dislike me, you looking to date wealthy will certainly encounter these women! So while their husbands and boyfriends adored me and my wit and my presence… Know it took years to win over the wives! Women can be simply cruel and viscous so If your not already known to them please realize you aren’t welcome so you’d better be on your toes! (Fortunately I came from GOID breeding, a large amount of money on my mothers side and I was brought up and polished (While I never had a penny of the old money & still don’t I didn’t need it but I was given One hell of a fabulous BACKBONE SI PLEASE UNLESS YOUR SMART AND RELAXED AND TRUKY DONT GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT EASILY DONT ENTER THIS GAME! Money is even more covited than the handsome man I married w/an ex wife and 2chdren but ambition and a willingness to go the extra mile,invest wisely and WORK HARD AND HE STILL DOES! I simply adore him! I enjoy his Police (as much as one can) and Love his retirement career! It’s tremendously rewarding and shows his true interest in what I did and I’ve always been interested in the Kaw so??? We work! I once sold Fine Jewelry and diamonds for a living before working my way up the latter in a predominantly male run world of corporate management. To become an RVP (not because if any degree I’d earned after High School but because I loved my work & I still find great gratification helping strangers and My husband “Close a Sale!”, that’s magical and tantemaount to great sex if you ask me.

That being said my husband was never until the last few years the primary breadwinner! Also, I can certainly say, w/ a great amount of thankfulness that he hated the horrific hours I worked! I hated his as well but I do believe the key is finding something (other than him referring to me as his “child bride” and his constant compliments that I’m his “arm candy”, I also find him devistatingly handsome!)

He’s also someone I admire & one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting (& marrying). As you elude to being supportive and taking an interest in (“the target” or the “ATM’s”, as I’ll refer to the subject that a lady in this instance would like to nail down.) ones career and being a woman who when I met my husband had a home, Bew Jeep Wrangler,Amazing wardrobe and my private life and finances in order very young as I moved out at 19 when an investment (my 1st home came along and was a very doable and smart money move!). So at only 22 in what’s considered a more “she-she” area of Baltimore,( Doctors & Attorneys lived on my street & I loved them and the women they dated and married because it taught me that if you click you click! Otherwise, a bohemian chick w/a computer graphics job wouldn’t have married and (made my MD (Vascular Surgeon fall in head over heels! And he still is today & this girl didn’t come from money! But she kept his attention & still has it. The vascular Surgeon was taken right off of the market by a darling woman who hated his job!

I paved my own way and didn’t have a penny from one family member to help! EVER! My husband found that to be incredibly sexy and I also am & always have been very serious about what I eat & DRINK & when. WORKING OUT as well as NOT drinking more than a 1/2 glass of wine or any more than one glass of alcohol and I stay away from any sun on my neck or face! (Always have!). Yes, I’m a former model but at only 5″8″ 125 lbs I hit the ceiling on how far any real career in modeling would take me at 19 and switched paths fast. My husband has seen since 1983 the horrors of life and he’s shared many tragic stories with me.

Im his strongest supporter in any and every endeavor as is he with me. To your point any woman hoping to find love needs to first LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY OF ONES OWN SELF BOTH FINANCIALLY (no matter how much or little you have). This certainly includes never taking ones health or beauty (as women do know) your beauty will need a bit more care, if you will, to continue to look and feel fantastic after 40 (while my husband just seems to get more handsome as time passes (he’s 54 & Ill be 39 in the fall) and soon I’ll begin to look a bit older unless I truly tighten it up even more but to all of you looking for love or simply seeking to date a man who may be a bit out of your own financial bracket, my advice I’d advise you get out there & date and date a lot! But for Gods Sake don’t sleep with them all! I dated Golf Professionals, The men who went to the Golf Pros Clubs as Members (they made quite a bit more annually and I dated teachers, attorneys, men in sales, etc., I was only 22 when I met my husband to be at 24, and your advice is very good for those simply looking to meet a spouse! (perhaps wealthier than you or older or both?) Whatever your long term motivations are remember a few VERY IMPORTANT points!

1.Continue to learn (formally or through travel and simply teaching ones self). I chose more informal (while I did take courses at the local Community College I enjoyed emensly they were taken for a reason to learn such as business law etc. I learned how to better Manage WIRK & Personal Aspects of my life and not get sued over a silly emotion like anger also I was armed with the knowledge to better protect myself civilly and legally and how to protect the company’s I worked for! I continue to tune in my knowledge annually and look for changes to the law! SO, UNDER THE TUTILAGE IF AN ADORING JUDGE, I learned how to best protect my own finances and my future. At 2/ w/so much on the line Being Fired was not an option! So simply winning the war and not simply a battle in my personal life & my career. CHECK! Do continue to educate yourself. I enjoy reading legal briefs! As simply rediculous as it sounds, I love it! ,read what makes you happy! Travel will enlighten you so go to Cartagena Colombia like we did for a couple of weeks! You’ll be shocked at what a totally different culture can teach you!
b.) Do not starve yourself but for the love of God, Don’t let yourself go! Do whatever you can to always look your best! (When you’ve been married for as long as I have many women I know loose interest in simple things like pedicures and shaving their legs! (Don’t be that girl!). Trust me if you leave to say w/family overnight he will still miss your legs in bed that night if they are soft! So keep it up! No man wants a woman who’s allowed an extra 50 lbs to appear and then does zero about it (children or not!). I have 2 stepchildren and none of my own by choice! I adore my husbands children (now adults but I never had to let my body go straight to hell to have them myself & thanks to God we are very close! I never had to be concerned weather my husband who’s always been VERY popular with women of a certain age and those newly divorced. However, he only has eyes for me and he makes that abuntly clear as I do for him. I’m not a jealous woman nor is he a very jealous man. We trust and in our case yes of course together we have more money than if we split but money won’t keep you warm at night girls but a man with passion for his work and more for you certainly will.
Finally, Date someone smart. He’s got to challenge you but he can’t be a teacher! If a man that challenges you,makes you wonder and adores you! (Money can be made!)… SO STOP LOOKING FOR A SUPER WEALTHY SPOUSE! JUST GET OUT THAT ELBOW GREASE AND MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MONEY! I GUARANTEE YOU YOU WILL SUDDENLY GO FROM BEING SIMPLY A PRETTY FACE TO ONE HELL OF A CATCH (no matter the man or his age OR career!).

Don’t date outside of your own intellectual sphere ! (Every friend and family member will wonder why your playing with CHILDREN AT EVERY EVENT at the “kiddie table” w/ play dough if they are speaking quantum mechanics with the other adults at the “grown up table!”… Otherwise if your not able to at least inject any intillectual thoughts on a subject zip it because not only will his friends & their spouses who can keep up and know exactly when to speak & when to simply listen SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU BUT HE WILL TOO! (God willing for him sooner than later!)

***I CANT STRESS THIS NEXT POINT ENOUGH!) Please if they , meaning the other wives and girlfriends of his pals, (and they simply can’t wait to & I do mean want to see you go up in flames!),especially if your more attractive! Well honey, if you are caught speaking out of your lack of education on any subject, You failed. Not just him but the know when to speak & STFU Law! (Unwritten rules of being a lady) & now whatever comment you made will be a riot & NEVER FORGOTTEN!! Just trust me!

REALLY TRUST ME, that nice man who introduced you to his inne Circle, well he screwed up! Or you ladies didn’t obey the STFU rule if conversation? He only made the mistake of letting them think you were anything other than a girl he “slums it with”… Harsh ,you bet! TRUE, Oh yes!

Now this man, he will get unreal pressure to, quite simply, “Unload the idiot w/lipstick”. Sorry but that’s you! So remember to date those that your physically attracted to, have your own money, always look amazing and don’t date a rocket scientist if you didn’t pass one math class in High School! Date those who challenge you not totally stump you!

Girls if you think Prince Charming, in most cases, has a Bentley HE EARNED AT 21, well girls I pray for some simple enlightenment to come your way! His Patents Cash isn’t yours and you better have patience because they may be here for decades before he sees accent and you may be repulsed bu him, LIFES TO SHORT!

In my experience and seeing wonderful marriages and train wrecks, one thing they all had in common was this; Money vs. again AMBITION & HARD WORK WILL EARN CASH BUT OF YOUR “LOOKING FOR A SUCKER W/MONEY”, TRUST ME THEY NEVER GOT THE $$ Because they were simply A SUCKER!

& YOU DEAR, WILL BE SPOTTED COMING FOR HIS CASH A HUNDRED MILES OUT. The scrutiny will eat you alive! SO NOW YOU’VE JUST WASTED ALL OF THAT MAKEUP FOR NOTHING! Plus the tickets to a great benefit (you donated your presence to? Oopsie!

BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES AND YOU’LL ATTRACT A PARTNER IN LIFE NOT AN ATM! Happy Hunting!

IF YOU WORK TOGETHER YOULL ATTAIN WEALTH BUT REMEMBER THINGS WORTH HAVING IN LIFE DONT COME EASY FOR A REASON! So do be warned & if your lucky you’ll find love (& some spare change you both torn into a pile of extra play money!

Well first rich man know they are rich and they feel there are lots of you and only a few of them. They are people like any other. They feel insecure, try their best, and are intimated by other rich men. But if your not rich, then your not in their stratosphere, your simply a playtoy. I am in my mid 30s have have dated and been engaged to billionaires and rich men.. The best advice is their advice in the financial realm. Tips on investing has created a small empire for me. I could say I am rich now .. Was homeless and definitely qualify past the 7 mark net assets all because I hung around the rich men. Romantically am I full filled no!!! Rich men are hard to date .. But being rejected and used by rich men has taught me how to become wealthy myself. Now that I am wealthy I could care less about a rich man. Case in point. Take their advice and move on. Date for love. Use them ( take their financial advice ) and move on. That’s what they will do to you. Date for love not for money. But if you date rich men, do take their advice and become like them and move on … After all you become who you hang out with.

Adding my 2 cents (via “smartphone” so forgive typos)… I have to agree with much of Sumi’s advice. I just started dating a very wealthy man. Thing is, I wasn’t looking for a rich guy. I was looking for an equal – similar level of education and intelligence, ambitious but not completely wrapped up in the rat race, reasonably attractuve, and independent. A few months ago I met someone like this, who also happens to be the very wealthy owner of an MNC and an inherited family fortune – which I didn’t learn about until the 3rd date. But I still don’t care about his money. I work hard for mine and love what I do. I have a nice but small trust fund courtesy of a father who worked his way up from nothing, which I invest for retirement and have never repent even a dime of. 2 master degrees (which I paid for myself), my fierce independence and self reliance (also courtesy of dear old dad), and taking care of myself seem to have “won” me this man’s admiration and girlfriend status. I can say this in all honesty: his intelligence, confidence, witty conversation and the confidence he carries himself with are devastatingly sexy to me! And his charming good manners and consideration have endeared him to me. I couldn’t care less if I never see a red cent if his. It’s the Man inside I want to continue seeing.

If you have something to offer to rich man besides your looks, there is nothing wrong with trying to get a rich boyfriend or husband. In most cases, rich men are career driven and spend a lot of time trying to improve themselves. If you want to be with someone who always pushes himself to the limits, a rich man might be a great choice for you. If on another hand you just want to meet rich men so that you can sit the whole day at home doing nothing and expect him to pay for everything, it is a really bad approach.

I ended up here because I’m trying to “fix” my dating life, and I’m really not stuck up but a thought crossed my mind: rich men and beautiful women are in a similar category, in that both easily attract the wrong types of partners. I fall in the beautiful woman category (no, I’m not conceited but it just is what it is) and I have the hardest time dating, so while sitting at my desk feeling a bit deflated I thought, “You know, gold diggers probably try to snatch rich men all the time, while jerks try to get pretty women into bed all the time”.

So it’s not so much that I’d be interested in a man because of his wealth, but rather because I’d imagine our dating lives might have similarities. That’s not to say that no rich man has approached me strictly for sex, what I mean is that in general we might suffer from a similar type of loneliness, I guess.

And just one more thing. Something that has happened many times is that when I’ve shown interest in average, nice guys and either they’re intimidated or they feel so full of themselves that they end up cheating.

These comments might make some people think I’m really full of it, but that’s really not the case. I simply hope to let those who share my experience know that they’re not alone.

I enjoyed this article. It’s on the mark. Both me and my wife grew up with very modest means.

When I ask my wife, “what would we do if we lose it all?”
and her reply is, “Oh well, we’ll just make more.”, I always realize why we’ve been married for 27 years.
My Father-in-law used to always say, “When you marry for the money, you earn every nickel.”

“Ladies, have you ever dated a rich guy or are currently with a rich guy? Why go after a poor guy when there are plenty of nice, charming, funny, charismatic, motivated, charitable rich guys round?”

The main reason that I don’t go after openly rich guys is because I believe that men who use their money in a flashy way are womanizers that attract their female-equivalents of whores and gold-diggers. I’m sorry for this negative stereotype of the dynamics of men/women, and I realize not all flashy men are bad, just like not every hooker or gold-digger is a bad person either, but I believe these extreme traits usually come from the less desirable characteristics of the opposite sex.

Studies show that people are not happier with more money beyond 100-200k a year, (maybe 200-300k if you live in San Francisco or NYC) so why work so hard for what you don’t need?

In all honesty, it is nice to be around a provider that makes me feel safe and stable. The reason that women like money is because of what the money implies: safety, stability, provider, protective.
These are positive traits in a man that women naturally seek, probably for reproductive reasons.

If the man uses his wealth to be arrogant and flashy, while treating women like disposable objects that they can buy off, this would just add to my mistrust in a man, and make me feel unstable. If I am required to be fashionably uncomfortable and walk in heels to attract a wealthy man, or fake like I care about solving world hunger and feeding Somalian children (which will never be solved, btw, as long as family planning is not valued) I would personally find it a sacrifice on my natural health and personal morals. So instead of a man having the effect that it naturally should on me, as a stable, protective, provider, money would have the opposite effect.

I have observed a new wave of women who are currently with wealthy men, starting out as former classmates who have studied the same field or at some point (even if they are mothers with children at present) they were the female equal of the wealthy man before they role-played their feminine/masculine traits for family-purposes. Take Micheal Obama or even Hilary Clinton. The two women were married to former presidents of the United States. Michelle Obama was Barack’s adviser and teacher at one point in his law-school background. Michelle Obama went through law school before Barack did. Hilary Clinton was Bill’s classmate in Yale, which is where they originally met and dated.

I’m sorry if this post is negative towards the natural traits of men and women because I do believe that men are providers and women are nurturers. So money for men, and physical attractiveness and self-care for women are naturally desirable traits.

As a woman, I want an equivalent male-counterpart which is a complicated dynamic in our shifting roles. I do enjoy being taken care of and provided for. I do not, however, want to compete with hundreds of other desperate women going after wealthy men. That defeats the purpose of money providing stability and security as the basis of a relationship. It’s almost a catch 22.

In the end, most men just want a good woman, and women want the same: a good man.

Love is the key to a good life, with riches or without true love from the heart creates riches because two to three minds are better than one. Death and loneliness comes to all but true Love covers all. Love makes lasting and real friendships which are not based on things but people and keeps the friends or family. Things including riches are to be shared with family, children who have no one in this world to take them to school, to provide food and clothing, teach them how to be rich and help others too, elderly and lonely too. when rich and poor die. they can take no riches or poverty with them. A rich heart makes riches becomes happy when sharing, knowledge, ideas, money and many more. I am rich in sharing all I can with those who do not have.

What about the military wives who yes, stay with thier husbands for years, ”suffer” through the seperation of deployments. By cheating, lying, staying at home never working and making little to no effort to support their spouse. I have a family member who has been deployed for a year this time. His so called wife of 15 plus years only messages him about money. Did not bother to see him off, or try to contact him at all for a month, and then was only about more money. Has he been perfect? No, he’s human. But he takes his vow to her seriously, and refuses to leave, even when she slept with his best friend. I have seen it a million times. He’s a paycheck when away, and an pain when he is home

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