I was in a fairly posh hotel retrieving a package from services when some asshole starts yelling and cursing incessantly into his phone to some bank or credit card rep about needing access to his money. He decided to pony up to the front desk for this as to disturb everyone in the lobby. The employees were all red faced and glancing down at their shoes, clearly unable to tell the customer he was not right.

After I signed for my package I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to take his conversation to the bathroom not 20 feet away for the benefit of the other guests and employees. He was outraged of course and told me to mind my own farking business. I then proceeded to whip my cell phone out and began to mock him in a similarly loud fashion, right into his ear. "Hey look at me! I'm so farking important I think everyone needs to hear one half of this customer service call in the lobby of this 5 star hotel! I may be yelling at you but I'm really just angry about my small penis! My mother never loved me! " etc.

He told the bank rep some asshole was making too much noise to talk and that he would call him right back and flees. Smiles on all the hotel employees faces, and I got a free gift basket complete with intoxicants later that day.

sandi_fish:Was in the rest room of the office building where I work, and this dipshiat answers the phone in the stall. I was in the stall next to her and could not for the life of me why she wouldn't call the person back. What if someone was in there leaving a deposit?

You should have started banging on the stall doors and making farting and shiatting noises and screaming "OH MY GOD THIS MASSIVE SH*T WILL JUST NOT COME OUT!!!!"

sandi_fish:Was in the rest room of the office building where I work, and this dipshiat answers the phone in the stall. I was in the stall next to her and could not for the life of me why she wouldn't call the person back. What if someone was in there leaving a deposit?

A guy in my previous office like to do the same thing. He actually did minor business negotiations on the can. I use to wait until he was talking so I knew he wasn't on mute and then flushed. It didn't change his behavior, but at least the people on the other side knew he was talking to them while dropping a deuce.

So, when cell phones first became popular, I had teenage daughters and would mutter "stupid teenagers blocking the door" every time one lingered in a public doorway blocking foot traffic. As time went by, I noticed the behavior was just as prevalent among the middle aged and elderly as well. So now I mutter "stupid teenagers blocking the door" to the old people as well.

Slaves2Darkness:Mikey1969: Slaves2Darkness: Mikey1969: Talking on cellphones and BT devices isn't the problem. It's the people who don't realize that they are distance communication devices and feel the need to scream. You don't need to yell into your cellphone or headset, that's really all that matters.

As for the "Everyone who uses a cellphone in public is an asshole" people, I don't believe that those people have never used their cellphone in public, so they can eat a dick.

Screw you asshole I don't even own a cell phone, never have, never will.

/I'm not kidding. Go take your electronic collar and put it around some one elses neck.

Thank God you stay away from electronics, too. Those computers are bigger anchors then cell phones. If anyone ever tries to sell you a computer, run like crazy in the other direction. Don't even take time to shoot them first.

Son, did you wake up stupid this morning or is this normal for you?

I'm really just wondering how you get your musings onto the internet if you're this scared of technology. Do you have a smoke signal-to-digital converter of some kind? Is someone transcribing the scratches you're making on that rock?

Galloping Galoshes:CruJones: No, talking loudly on your phone makes you an asshole, simply using it is fine. If you talk at a normal volume it's no worse than someone talking to a friend.

Not real fond of being in an elevator with someone using their phone. Thanks for letting me share your phone booth, twit.

I got on the elevator in my building recently, 1 woman already in there, talking on her cell. I glanced at her and she said "do you mind? this is a private conversation". I said "and this is a public space..." and then stared at her for 15 floors.......

While in Wal-mart I've been 'treated' to a rather large and loud lady yammering away on the phone as she slowly wandered along the displays. Then I came across another one having an energetic and equally loud gossip session as she pushed her cart right down the middle of the rows.

I really hate standing in line somewhere to check out -- which I consider the worst part of shopping anyhow -- and someone behind me is jabbering away on a cell. It makes it extra annoying when they're loudly going on in some language like Spanish or, increasingly, some African dialect.

I watched an elderly black lady come into a store, grab one of the power scooters and drive off, cell phone glued to her ear, loudly discussing something in Swahili or whatever, not really paying attention to where she was going. A short time later I came across her again, still on the phone, looking pi$$ed and about 30 minutes later, bumped into her again and she was still at it!

Now, the local Wal-mart has found a way to cut down on the jabber by installing these self checkout booths. You can't jabber much on a cell when using both hands to empty your cart, scan each item and respond to the frequent automatic requests of 'Please Scan The Item' or 'Please Place The Item In the Bagging Area'.

Wal-mart, I read once, has cell jammers installed across the stores to cut down on this, but it doesn't seem to make a difference or else not every store has them.

Maybe Publix does, because I rarely see anyone there blabbing away on a cell and if they do, it's usually at a decibel level that can't be heard three aisles away.

I had one a few years ago (ordered it from England) and it worked great! Had an effective radius of about 50-feet or so. It was fairly expensive so after a few weeks I wound up returning it. It was a fairly simple looking device about the size and looks of a flip-phone (this was pre-smartphone days back when Blackberry was still popular). These days, though, what with 3G, 4G, etc., I'm not sure if there are any small jammers that are able to block everything.

If anyone knows of a full-spectrum-blocker (for lack of a better term), please do post an info-link!

Ordered mine from China at a cost of $57 including shipping.It takes out EVERYTHING, including WiFi.Sitting outside of Starbucks has never been more entertaining.

lewismarktwo:I was in a fairly posh hotel retrieving a package from services when some asshole starts yelling and cursing incessantly into his phone to some bank or credit card rep about needing access to his money. He decided to pony up to the front desk for this as to disturb everyone in the lobby. The employees were all red faced and glancing down at their shoes, clearly unable to tell the customer he was not right.

After I signed for my package I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to take his conversation to the bathroom not 20 feet away for the benefit of the other guests and employees. He was outraged of course and told me to mind my own farking business. I then proceeded to whip my cell phone out and began to mock him in a similarly loud fashion, right into his ear. "Hey look at me! I'm so farking important I think everyone needs to hear one half of this customer service call in the lobby of this 5 star hotel! I may be yelling at you but I'm really just angry about my small penis! My mother never loved me! " etc.

He told the bank rep some asshole was making too much noise to talk and that he would call him right back and flees. Smiles on all the hotel employees faces, and I got a free gift basket complete with intoxicants later that day.

sandi_fish:Was in the rest room of the office building where I work, and this dipshiat answers the phone in the stall. I was in the stall next to her and could not for the life of me why she wouldn't call the person back. What if someone was in there leaving a deposit?

lewismarktwo:I was in a fairly posh hotel retrieving a package from services when some asshole starts yelling and cursing incessantly into his phone to some bank or credit card rep about needing access to his money. He decided to pony up to the front desk for this as to disturb everyone in the lobby. The employees were all red faced and glancing down at their shoes, clearly unable to tell the customer he was not right.

After I signed for my package I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to take his conversation to the bathroom not 20 feet away for the benefit of the other guests and employees. He was outraged of course and told me to mind my own farking business. I then proceeded to whip my cell phone out and began to mock him in a similarly loud fashion, right into his ear. "Hey look at me! I'm so farking important I think everyone needs to hear one half of this customer service call in the lobby of this 5 star hotel! I may be yelling at you but I'm really just angry about my small penis! My mother never loved me! " etc.

He told the bank rep some asshole was making too much noise to talk and that he would call him right back and flees. Smiles on all the hotel employees faces, and I got a free gift basket complete with intoxicants later that day.

bdub77:lemurs: The difference between a crazy guy yammering to himself at the bus stop and social acceptability is a Bluetooth earpiece.

People on those earpieces piss me off more than cell phones, especially when you're like inside a grocery store and the person is talking to you and you're like 'huh? What?' and then they turn sideways and they've got that f*cking earpiece on. It's like they were taken over by those f*cking ear zombie slugs from Star Trek or something.