Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

1/31/11

Chicago Snow Cancellations: Tuesday (humor)

Due to Chicago's expected snowstorm, Tuesday has been cancelled. There will only be six days this week.

There will be no school. Homeschoolers will be forced to play outdoors, and public school kids will meet privately, but without any schooling.

All businesses will be closed. Online business will all redirect their websites to my profile on YouTube.

Regretfully, all radio stations will not have their regularly scheduled "Two fer Tuesdays." Those who remain on air may only play one-hit wonders. They are not, however, allowed to wonder.

The western suburban Attention Deficit Disorder group has postponed their meeting featuring a special speaker discussing 'Procrastination'.

Government buildings will remain open. No change in action is required, nor will be recognized.

Note: Wednesday's Groundhog Day weather report is expected to unavailable. The groundhog, sick of Chicago weather, moved last summer to Hawaii where he drinks pina coladas and dances to Don Ho songs with hula girls. At the moment, he is laughing at you.