October 15, 2011

After having some trouble understanding me, the new iPhone has gotten quite good at hearing my speech. I said, "Play 'Poses' by Rufus Wainwright" and it did. I love that song, but with Meade listening too, I was afraid it was dreary, so I told the phone "Stop playing that song." It complied.

Meade said, "There's a real person listening on the other end." So I asked the phone, "Are you a real person listening to me, like maybe in India?"

I find it completely unnerving that more than half the time when some service worker has been helpful or just done her job and I say "Thank you" the response is "No problem." Inside I shout at her "No, you dumb fuck, the proper response is "You're welcome." But I know it's futile in our brave new world so I just shrug it off...but can't quite, not really.

Hmmm ... Turing defined artificial intelligence being where you could not say if the responder was human or not. What can you do to prove it one way or the other? See what gibberish does? A human would say "That's gibberish."

● It is certain ● It is decidedly so ● Without a doubt ● Yes – definitely ● You may rely on it ● As I see it, yes ● Most likely ● Outlook good ● Signs point to yes ● Yes ● Reply hazy, try again ● Ask again later ● Better not tell you now ● Cannot predict now ● Concentrate and ask again ● Don't count on it ● My reply is no ● My sources say no ● Outlook not so good ● Very doubtful● Just doing my job

10 of the possible answers are affirmative, 5 are negative, and 5 are non-committal. Using the Coupon collector's problem in probability theory, it can be shown that it takes, on average, 72 questions of the Magic Eight Ball for all 20 of its answers to appear at least once.

"I find it completely unnerving that more than half the time when some service worker has been helpful or just done her job and I say "Thank you" the response is "No problem." Inside I shout at her "No, you dumb fuck, the proper response is "You're welcome." But I know it's futile in our brave new world so I just shrug it off...but can't quite, not really."

Clarke's Law states that any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. With particles now traveling FTL can we be far from reaching that point? If you are making a time machine but are stumped with some design flaw, but you come back in time with a working version to show yourself how to fix it did yo really do it?

That's an easy one. Here's a better one...Einstein states that as we near the speed of light our mass increases. That's why we can't have FTL, more mass requires more energy to push us faster which gives us more mass etc... so if I were on another planet in another solar system and I left that planet for Earth traveling at some portion of C I should get more massy. But from the point of view of the Universe I and the Earth are moving towards each other at 1/2 the portion of C. Does that mean I only get 1/2 massier along with the Earth getting twice as massy?

This does not bode well, Ann. More importantly, it does not bode well, Meade. She's talking to her iPhone. No, actually, she's conversing with her iPhone. How long before she stops talking to you? Is this how that wonderful love story runs off the rails? "Just doing my job."

"No problem" uses exactly the same concept as "De nada," "C'est rien," and "Think nothing of it." It is the politeness of "Mi casa su casa", except in this case, it is "All my time and trouble really mean nothing in comparison to your happiness. Do not trouble yourself with whatever it may have cost me; I am glad to do it."

"No problem" is completely appropriate after someone thanks you for doing them a favor. When someone is thanking you for doing your job well, it's not so appropriate, because they're paying for you to do whatever it is you did for them. They're extending a common courtesy, and replying "You're welcome" indicates that you understand that.

It could be another person on the other end. My husband uses some kind of memo service that transcribes the memos to email. If you turn on the higher accuracy option, somebody somewhere does listen in and checks the robo transcription.

First of all, Ann, I am appalled that you actually used another phone/camera to take a picture of you iPhone4s with that message. Here's a tip for you on the iPhone. Press the on/off button(top right) and home button simultaneously and release it. You will get a screenshot that's cleaner without all those reflections, case, etc. It will be saved in your pictures folder and you can post that picture directly from the iPhone.

I don't know if Siri will tell you that but I am from India and I am just doing my Job :-)