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Poor Single Mothers: Do these women owe it to society to stop reproducing?

Poor Single Mothers Having More Babies

So...If you can't afford to have another baby.....

When
I say "poor" single mothers, I do not mean, "oh, poor single mother,
bless the little soul". I mean, they literally are living at or below
the poverty level. Do these women owe society to stop producing? Is
there any other way to look at it? Well that is what this article is
going to discuss. I believe there are varying degrees of this epidemic
and not all stories are the same.

There are millions upon millions of women who abuse their position of
a child-bearing age woman, and have as many babies as they can for one
reason. More babies = more money for them. And it's true! At this time,
that is how Social Services is set up. So it certainly does leave one to
wonder, if these women are simply looking for paychecks rather than
more little bundle of joys to enhance their families.

I can't help but to think of Octomom (gosh, I'd die if being dubbed
with that nickname), who delievered 2 sets of twins, then 8 babies at
one time. I guess we will never know her true motivation. And for sure
her doctor is culpable in some way. But I for one, do not see that as an
example of someone wanting to add "one more" to enhance their family.
WHEN THEY ALREADY had 4 at home they were struggling with.

Even in my own town, I see mothers with many young children, yelling
at them as they go down the street, and I feel sorry for their kids.
Were they brought into the world as another paycheck and tax deduction?
Now, the mom has to 'go through the motions' of raising them to get her
money?

:) Would you really like to know? It is my personal life ya know.... But both statements are true. It's a lot to type.

Quoting futureshock:

Quoting viv212:

Well I was only 18 and he supposedly had a visectomy. Once I got pregnant he tried everything to get me to have an abortion and I couldn't do it. I had no idea he would up and leave forever.

Quoting futureshock:

Quoting viv212:

:( I intentionally had a child knowing that the father wouldn't be around. But I also thought you were pro-life. So what do you propose women in my situation do?

Quoting Naturewoman4:

No I don't think it's right. I also think it's wrong to get pregnant intentional & have the taxpayers pay for it. I think it's also not ok to go into it, KNOWING your child will not have a father. I don't care if a person has worked 20, 30 or more yrs. & paid into the system, still isn't right. Taxes & these programs are meant to help people, are there to help people that are 'truly' in need. Disabled, truly poor Seniors, Vets, & those that are 'truly' poor at no fault of their own. Is this woman going to go back to work, to provide for her own kids? What is her disability?

Why would you choose that particular man for the father in the first place?

Now I am confused, lol:

I had no idea he would up and leave forever.

I intentionally had a child knowing that the father wouldn't be around.

Well when I got pregnant he tried everything to get me to abort and I couldn't. He said the child deserves a father and he was in the Army and wouldn't be around. I told him I need support from him- either money or to be there as a dad. We agreed that if he stuck around that I don't want child support but that if he wasn't going to be around that I would file. He said to do what I gotta do.

I knew while pregnant he wasn't going to be around. I was scared of stressing about it because I didn't want my baby to stress so I carried on with my pregnancy. I honestly didn't think about it much. I didn't even cry. I just knew I was going to be alone.

It didn't hit me until my dd was 5. I'm not joking. I went through the crying and anger 5 years after my dd was born. That whole time I didn't care if he came back but I figured he would. Any day now... Maybe today is the day... He knows where my mom lives... He'll come back.

Well she's 13 now and still no word from him. Looking back, I knew deep down he wasn't going to be around but I had that hope. He told me straight out he wouldn't be around.

Maybe this makes sense to you, I don't know. I'm just glad he started paying child support almost 2 years ago. It helps out so much!

Quoting futureshock:

Sure, if you don't mind talking about it.

Quoting viv212:

:) Would you really like to know? It is my personal life ya know.... But both statements are true. It's a lot to type.

Quoting futureshock:

Quoting viv212:

Well I was only 18 and he supposedly had a visectomy. Once I got pregnant he tried everything to get me to have an abortion and I couldn't do it. I had no idea he would up and leave forever.

Quoting futureshock:

Quoting viv212:

:( I intentionally had a child knowing that the father wouldn't be around. But I also thought you were pro-life. So what do you propose women in my situation do?

Quoting Naturewoman4:

No I don't think it's right. I also think it's wrong to get pregnant intentional & have the taxpayers pay for it. I think it's also not ok to go into it, KNOWING your child will not have a father. I don't care if a person has worked 20, 30 or more yrs. & paid into the system, still isn't right. Taxes & these programs are meant to help people, are there to help people that are 'truly' in need. Disabled, truly poor Seniors, Vets, & those that are 'truly' poor at no fault of their own. Is this woman going to go back to work, to provide for her own kids? What is her disability?

Why would you choose that particular man for the father in the first place?

Now I am confused, lol:

I had no idea he would up and leave forever.

I intentionally had a child knowing that the father wouldn't be around.

I don't think financially struggling/poor single mothers owe society anything. They owe their children a proper upbringing with adequate food, clothing, housing, educational choices and so much more. While I wish for the sake of their other children they would stop reproducing, I do not feel as if I have the right to tell them they can't.

Exactly! I feel for the children involved because the more you have, the more you have to budget for. DH knows a woman with nine kids and screws men every chance she gets. This to me is sad, I don't know if she is on any PA (I think she is but I'm not sure) I think it's irresponsible on her part but it's her life. personally, I'd have a mental meltdown with 9 children

I never had a child before I could afford one and I only had one after I was married. Having a child is a want, not a need and people need to be responsble. I have heard so many excuses as to why they "had" to have a child young or even more than one child(when they could not afford it) and they are just that "excuses. The one who is approaching 40 already has one child and she should be thankful for that(I only have one as well). She is obvoiusly not in any financial position to bring another one into this world. If I can make sacrafices and be financially responsible, I think others should as well. NO, I don't think the almost 40 woman should be having another child. Sorry. I was also brought up in a different generation where it was considered a disgrace to be on any kind of PA(for a long time never knew anyone that was) and it was definitely not something to fall back on because of a NEED. It should only be for people who have suffered through bad times.

What you've described is grossly irresponsible IMO. Children cost money, period. Raising children is not merely limited to helping them to survive by way of food and clothing. Their lives need enrichment through activities and schooling; some of which needs to be paid for. When you have little or no income to begin with, it should be a conscience resolution not to have anymore children IMO. BC is widely available and it is relatively inexpensive or free for those receiving public assistance. While I do have seven children, I can tell you that we would have not had all of them if we were not able to support them.

Quoting LNLMommy

Quoting MeAndTommyLee:

I don't think financially struggling/poor single mothers owe society anything. They owe their children a proper upbringing with adequate food, clothing, housing, educational choices and so much more. While I wish for the sake of their other children they would stop reproducing, I do not feel as if I have the right to tell them they can't.

Exactly! I feel for the children involved because the more you have, the more you have to budget for. DH knows a woman with nine kids and screws men every chance she gets. This to me is sad, I don't know if she is on any PA (I think she is but I'm not sure) I think it's irresponsible on her part but it's her life. personally, I'd have a mental meltdown with 9 children

ITA. My oldest children are now at an age where it's time to start enrolling them in activities and man, the cost adds up pretty quickly! betwee DH and I, we have 5 children and while I would love to have one more (well sometimes I want another one), financially we can't do it. We can support the ones we have now and I feel like I don't want to short change them on anything.

Quoting MeAndTommyLee:

What you've described is grossly irresponsible IMO. Children cost money, period. Raising children is not merely limited to helping them to survive by way of food and clothing. Their lives need enrichment through activities and schooling; some of which needs to be paid for. When you have little or no income to begin with, it should be a conscience resolution not to have anymore children IMO. BC is widely available and it is relatively inexpensive or free for those receiving public assistance. While I do have seven children, I can tell you that we would have not had all of them if we were not able to support them.

Quoting LNLMommy

Quoting MeAndTommyLee:

I don't think financially struggling/poor single mothers owe society anything. They owe their children a proper upbringing with adequate food, clothing, housing, educational choices and so much more. While I wish for the sake of their other children they would stop reproducing, I do not feel as if I have the right to tell them they can't.

Exactly! I feel for the children involved because the more you have, the more you have to budget for. DH knows a woman with nine kids and screws men every chance she gets. This to me is sad, I don't know if she is on any PA (I think she is but I'm not sure) I think it's irresponsible on her part but it's her life. personally, I'd have a mental meltdown with 9 children

Short-changing kids breeds resentment, too. I could not imagine telling one of our boys that they had to quit photography class for diapers or no more music school for you since our insurance premium just went up because of your new brother.

During our DD senior year she had a close friend that could not afford to attend her prom because she had 11 brothers and sisters. The girl was heartbroken! She worked, but needed to turn her earnings over to her mother. (That's another story.) I took her to a good friend of mine that's a seamstress and owner of her own little shop. She made her a lovely dress and DH and me paid for her tickets. She was thrilled, I was happy she was happy!

Quoting LNLMomm

ITA. My oldest children are now at an age where it's time to start enrolling them in activities and man, the cost adds up pretty quickly! betwee DH and I, we have 5 children and while I would love to have one more (well sometimes I want another one), financially we can't do it. We can support the ones we have now and I feel like I don't want to short change them on anything.

Quoting MeAndTommyLee:

What you've described is grossly irresponsible IMO. Children cost money, period. Raising children is not merely limited to helping them to survive by way of food and clothing. Their lives need enrichment through activities and schooling; some of which needs to be paid for. When you have little or no income to begin with, it should be a conscience resolution not to have anymore children IMO. BC is widely available and it is relatively inexpensive or free for those receiving public assistance. While I do have seven children, I can tell you that we would have not had all of them if we were not able to support them.

Quoting LNLMommy

Quoting MeAndTommyLee:

I don't think financially struggling/poor single mothers owe society anything. They owe their children a proper upbringing with adequate food, clothing, housing, educational choices and so much more. While I wish for the sake of their other children they would stop reproducing, I do not feel as if I have the right to tell them they can't.

Exactly! I feel for the children involved because the more you have, the more you have to budget for. DH knows a woman with nine kids and screws men every chance she gets. This to me is sad, I don't know if she is on any PA (I think she is but I'm not sure) I think it's irresponsible on her part but it's her life. personally, I'd have a mental meltdown with 9 children

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
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