Tuesday 6 August 2013 11.45 EDT
First published on Tuesday 6 August 2013 11.45 EDT

Women are defined in American society by the men who are or aren't in their lives. From the time we're little girls into young adults, we're encouraged to find our prince charming and never let him go. People quietly frown upon single women, wondering what's wrong with women like me who haven't married yet or may never marry.

Single women are excluded from social circles because married women fear they will "steal their men" and they certainly don't have equal access to the political and business power structures as married women. How many unmarried women are governors or CEOs of Fortune 500 companies? Sure, there are exceptions such as single Supreme Court justices and Condoleezza Rice, the first black female Secretary of State, but the path to power is much harder for single women.

As Time magazine pointed out in a recent cover story The childfree life, society scolds married women who choose not to have children, asking, what's wrong with them? According to Pew Research, only 51% of US adults age 18 and older are married today compared 72% in 1960. So, we have a rise in "single ladies". As we witness this rise in unmarried and married childless women, society seems to be refusing to give these non-conformist women full access to the same social, business and political opportunities as their married counterparts with children.

Perhaps this is why Hillary Clinton has "stood by her man" Bill Clinton through his many embarrassing transgressions. And why Huma Abedin is standing to the point of public humiliation by Anthony Weiner. (It's interesting to note that Huma Abedin worked for Hillary when she was a US senator and then Secretary of State and the two became very close. Hillary has referred to Huma as her second daughter.)

Hillary knows if she is ever to ascend to president of the United States of America, the highest office in the land, she will need a "first man" by her side because sadly, America won't elect her without one. Feminists are taught to support the choices of all women, but at what point is someone like Hillary binding to societal pressures?

In 1992, when Bill Clinton ran for president and his extramarital affairs began dripping out like a leaky faucet, Hillary and Bill did a joint interview with 60 Minutes. The couple refused to admit Bill's lady problems but as Kroft asked about his alleged affair with Jennifer Flowers, Hillary snuggled close to Bill because she knew "their political life" depended upon it. When Kroft asked Bill if his marriage suffered problems and whether they ever separated, Hillary kept shaking her head. Then she angrily told Kroft:

Though Hillary has achieved enormous political success, it's questionable if that would have happened if she hadn't stood by Bill Clinton in the early years. Remember she ran for the New York senate seat while she was First Lady, a very high-profile position.

I cringed when I watched Abedin defend her husband Anthony Weiner in a press conference, as he asked New York City voters to support his campaign for mayor in spite of news reports of another sexting affair. Weiner admitted he continued to send explicit photos of himself over the Internet to a young woman after resigning from Congress in disgrace for sexting in 2011.

Political wives who defend their cheating husbands all in the name of grabbing power and the women who support them teaches young girls they are nothing without a man by their side. This is the real "War on Women" and lately Democrats are owning it.

In the 2012 presidential election, single women represented 23% of the electorate, and the majority of them – 67% – broke for President Barack Obama. Women overall also voted for Obama 55% to Mitt Romney's 44%. Women preferred the Democrat message.

As Hillary gears up for a possible presidential run in 2016, women are already lining up to rally by her side. But it isn't a "done deal" on the women's vote. The Republican party has to start appealing to single female voters with a different message. What if the GOP leveraged female politicians to speak at college campuses and other events with the inclusion message: "you can succeed in life and run for office whether you're married or single, wife or mother, nurse or CEO".

People's marriages are their business and women can choose to forgive cheating husbands. My parents have been married for over 40 years. I know what a good relationship should be because I have a wonderful example. While I've wanted to be married since I was a little girl, even dreamed about the wedding I would one day have, I haven't found Mr Right; however, I also have been nurtured by a mother who taught me I'm worth something in life without a man as much as I am with one. And if a man is going to treat me with less respect than my father, he's not a man worth having.

Every woman should be celebrated regardless of her marital status. Both parties need to wake up to that fact. And I hope that women will look closely at Hillary's version of feminism.