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READ THIS ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT
I bet your thinking this is a “the dangers of my long distance partner cheating on me” article. WRONG. This is about a much greater danger.
People have their own lives. Which means full time careers or part-time jobs, and regardless of age school can be a very big part of a persons life. So you may only be able to see the your long distance partner on the holidays. Now ONLY seeing them on holidays has its rewards but those rewards don’t outweigh the drawbacks.
The holidays are always a magical time of the year. Spirits are higher, people try to look at the brighter side of things and be optimistic. It also means you have gotten to leave behind the normality’s in your life that bring you stress like work and school. You are free to just have fun. When your partner comes here you are free to just enjoy each other.
Now here is what everybody in a long distance relationship DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR. But too bad it is time for reality.
While you may think that because you need a lot of patience because of limited time to chat and see your long distance relation and this makes your bond strong and devoted it doesn’t require anywhere near the patience of being in a face to face relationship.
Long distance you don’t have to be there for the person at all. You can type “oh everything will be fine.” That’s not seeing them, feeling their pain and helping. Long distance relationships attract a lot of people because you don’t really have to do that much real work in the relationship. You most of the time see each other on the holidays and the last thing on your mind is to be intimate and discuss REAL LIFE. All you want is to enjoy the “little time you have”. Well the fact is that you are just enjoying the perks of each other and not seeing the whole of the other person or being there for them like a relationship is supposed to. So when you see each other you feel “on top of the world” oh that person is so special you feel perfect when they are around.
Too bad but this is all fabricated. You wouldn’t see them as this perfect person who you are meant to be with if you two spent time when you were both at work and school, you know, reality. LIVING YOUR LIFE. Ask anyone in a face to face relationship and they will tell you that there is a lot of falseness to a long distance relationship. In general and specifically about who your partner truly is and how much the really care about you.
They care about you? Well right now your both just living a false reality where when you see the other everything is fine but a big part is because all of your troubles have gone away. BECAUSE YOU ARE ON HOLIDAYS. You’re RELATIONSHIP is not anywhere as mature, dedicated or true as you think.
THE BIGGEST danger is that if you or your partner is how impressionable you become in this type of a relation. You become driven to make it all work out. You see them but only a small part of them. They haven’t even been there for you yet.
How genuinely does your partner care? Is it truly loving and caring for you?
Ask yourself:
1. Do you pay for everything on your dates over the holidays, leaving you to struggle with money that you need when you go back to REAL LIFE?
If they cared why would they let you put that extra stress on you when they are gone. Oh wait. Maybe it doesn’t matter to them. BECAUSE THEY WON’T BE AROUND TO SEE IT. And you’ll have to push on, on your own with the extra burden of financial struggles. Which may cause you to have to rely on others.
2. Do you have to clash with family to get them to trust him or let him visit?
Your partner obviously doesn’t. They just come over have fun then leave and you get more stress. Which is YOUR PARTNER’S fault not your families. It’s this false atmosphere that makes your family RIGHTFULLY distrust your long distance partner.
3. Do you really think that this false time you spend together is showing you a good future?
4. How can you be sure you’ve seen the real thing?
Somebody has to move and be there with you through it all the ups and downs. And by then you might not like what you see. It may be a harsh truth. And by then it is too late.
5. Has he/she been stringing this along a lot longer than they had planned?
I mean if they cared they would have made an effort to put this together by now!
6. What did they say that got you thinking it would be worth a try?
7. Did they promise you that they’d be living with you in just a little while at the start of your time together and still months or years later they have not come through?
They may (unintentionally) now just be content to cost and come and collect the benefits without having to be true to you when it REALLY SHOULD COUNT. And they used that little white lie to convince you to start a relationship with them that they were nowhere near as dedicated to as you. They might just want to enjoy the perks and when they’ve gotten enough they don’t care anymore.
The lack of needing to go the extra mile face to face ATTRACTS people to these relationships. And they can intentionally or unintentionally manipulate you. Sorry but its true. If you’re hearing these things from family and friends they aren’t just trying to harp at you. They care and are trying to get you to see the truth about your relationship. If it was face to face, you’d go through it all with them and be able to judge them for yourself.
In conclusion.
In a long distance one it’s easy to be pulled in and misled because you are trying to be as optimistic as possible.
It can consume your life and ruin it. It causes you whether you want to believe it or not to live a fabricated life with your partner and it makes you miss out on opportunities that are all around you in different people you know and the ones you could have met. In fact this long distance search for the one could cost you the one.
Ironically most people who try long distance do so after have failed face-to-face relationships making them feel hopeless. And now they are in a FALSE relationship that just makes them feel good about themselves but will cost them SO MUCH in the long run.
If you can answer YES to any of those prior questions above, it’s time you take a step outside of your relationship and look at it all. How much effort are they really putting? What are you really getting out of this? Is it what a person truly needs to have a healthy loving future with someone?
If you can answer YES to any of those prior questions above…it’s time to walk away. It’s time you give yourself what you deserve. A true relationship with someone who is THERE, who truly cares for you. Walk away so you can meet that special person and be happy.
If you can answer YES to ANY of those. WALK AWAY. Before it is too late.