San Francisco sees it’s fair share of crime — some serious, some less so. Here at SF Weekly, we’re paying attention to all of it — from the mundane to the bizarre. Here’s a roundup of some of the weirder situations that went down in our 49 square miles this week:

Teenage Arson
A fire broke out in a public bathroom at Margaret S. Hayward Park in the Western Addition on Wednesday afternoon, bringing the San Francisco Fire Department to the scene. Two teenage boys were spotted exiting the bathroom as smoke curled out from the windows. They were not caught, but firemen determined a pile of garbage had been lit on fire inside the building.

Scissor Stabbing
Another bathroom incident took place on Tuesday evening, when a 51-year-old man was stabbed as he exited a bathroom in a business near the intersection of 16th Street and Potrero Avenue. The suspect, a 43-year-old man, apparently attacked the victim with a pair of scissors. He was arrested by SFPD.

Dead People Told Him To Do It
SFPD responded to John F. Kennedy Drive in Golden Gate Park on Monday afternoon after reports of a man indecently exposing himself to passersby came in. Upon arriving, officers observed the man pull down his pants and expose his genitalia as a female jogger approached. When they confronted the man about his actions, he stated, “dead people told me to do it.” Officers detained him, after learning he had a warrant out for another case of indecent exposure.

Mysterious Shooting
Shortly after 9:30 a.m. on Sunday morning residents awoke to the sound of shots being fired near Polk and Lombard streets. The well-to-do neighborhood was apparently the scene of a gun fight between two cars, who raced along the Polk Street corridor while firing their guns at least 13 times at one another. SFPD searched the area and found a number of spent casings, but no suspects. No one was injured during the incident.

Unknown Liquid Attack
A 48-year-old man sitting on a park bench in Dolores Park had an unpleasant surprise on Saturday night. While he chatted on his phone, a man in his 20s approached him, and sprayed him with an “unknown liquid.” He then stole the victim’s phone and fled southbound on Dolores Street on foot.

Jewelry and STDsOn Saturday afternoon officers responded to 128 Clarendon Ave., in response to claims of a theft that took place in Dec. 2016. According to SFPD’s account, a man living at the address told officers he’d invited two women over that he’d met online. After a naughty photo shoot took place, the suspect paid the women $400. When the man’s wife returned from an overseas trip, she noticed her jewelry was missing. The situation got messier when the wife informed officers she had recently been diagnosed with an STD, which she claimed was due to the women who’d slept with her husband while she was gone. The case is under investigation.

See anything crazy happen in our seven by seven city recently? We want to know about it! Send us a tip to nsawyer@sfweekly.com.