THIS MACHINE MOCKS FASCISTS

Sixteen

In the old days, when Athena was much younger, the only way she knew it was her birthday was when we would burst into her room first thing in the morning with a cake and candles and sing “Happy Birthday” to her. Eventually she figured out the date, but we still burst into her room with a cake because, you know. Family tradition. Our daughter seems pretty tolerant of this. Because who doesn’t like breakfast cake? No one, that’s who.

Also, as is the custom with our people, we celebrated our offspring’s sixteenth nativity by presenting her with a large inflatable duck.

Is this not the custom of your people as well? No? Hmmmm.

In any event, I wish you and yours the best for this, the 16th Athenamas. May your day be utterly fabulous. And if you should wish to wish my daughter a happy birthday, I would not look askance upon it.

I’ve seen that look on my own son’s face, more than once. Now that he’s in his mid-20’s, he even seems amused once in a while. We love you all the more for tolerating our antics! And know that you’re not alone in the “I have nerds for parents” world. ;)

Also, the customs of your people are just plain wierd. I simply do not understand a tradition that considers a giant inflatable duck a reasonable substitute for a live platypus. I am so sorry that your parents were not able to supply that essential element for a proper 16th birthday celebration, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive them anyway.

May you live a long life
Full of gladness and health
With a pocket full of gold
As the least of your wealth
May the dreams you hold dearest
Be those which come true
May the kindness you spread
Keep returning to you.
~Irish Blessing

Athenamas. The beginning of a 10-day celebration in which there is much gift giving, imbibing and worldwide celebrations. Go figure. May the odds be ever in your favor and may you always have a large inflatable duck at your back.

Ah family traditions. We let our kids have whatever breakfast they want in their birthday, which often means chocolate sundaes. A but heavy for me ;). Growing up we put candles in coffee cake and sang happy birthday to baby Jesus on Christmas morning. I was stunned later in life to find out that’s not normal!

Any who, happy birthday Athena! Thankfully I still have 2 years to worry about my daughter turning sixteen.

And here’s another Irish Blessing for you. ‘Cause you can never have too many Irish Blessings (or any other kind for that matter).

May the blessing of the rain be on you— the soft sweet rain.
May it fall upon your spirit so that all the little flowers may spring up,
and shed their sweetness on the air.
May the blessing of the great rains be on you, may they beat upon your spirit
and wash it fair and clean, and leave there many a shining pool
where the blue of heaven shines, and sometimes a star.

Happy birthday Athena!
The customs of your people are weird, but as a random factoid about your day, I can tell you that my people’s customs are even weirder for Athenamas – known as Thorlaksmessa here in Iceland. We eat fermented skate which smells mainly of ammonia. Folklore maintains that in order to get the *really* good skate you have to have it marinated in urine. Seriously. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thorlaksmessa #TheCustomsOfMyPeople #OfCourseIDon’tParticipate #It’sDisgusting

Wow Deborah, that’s a beautiful blessing. I echo it’s sentiments.
Have a joyous day Athena.
I suggest sneaking up on your Dad when he is snoozing, unplug The Duck and squeeze it so it squeals in his ear. Kind of like are really large yellow bagpipe.

Just wondering: How did they get the duck in your room without waking you? If it is truly “giant”, it shouldn’t have fit through the door in its inflated form. If it is, and was snuck in deflated, that’s a lot of huffing an puffing to sleep through. Or does it have an airbag-type inflator and went instantly from deflated to giant?

Happy Birthday to Athena! She’s exactly 14 years older than my daughter who also celebrates her natality on this day (although she doesn’t quite grasp it yet at 2). Anyway, hooray for Christmas Eve Eve birthdays!

Breakfast cake…MMMMM!!!…(Imagine Homer Simpson sounds).
But you ARE aware there are TWO very large warnings printed on that duck?
If it makes any strange noise, DUCK!
(Sorry. The Devil made me type it.)

If you’ve gotten her to accept the Giant Inflatable Duck, by the time she’s 50 she’ll be ready for the Dutch tradition of putting a giant inflatable Sarah or Abraham in the front yard for people turning that age. (Or more likely, she’ll be ready to do that to you when you turn 50…)

Have a Happy and Wonderful Birthday Athena! May you always have a special day of celebration that you appreciate! Those Parental folks may seem a bit odd, but that is usually until you become one, then you know they are odd, weird, and a bit strange. It makes life a bit more entertaining though!

Happy Athenamas, Athena! Glad to see Scalzi pere and mere decided not to do a giant duck out on celebrating the occasion. Hope the cake, whatever flavor it was, proved appropriate for this auspicious day.