Ever since the merging with US Airways, American Airlines’ primary objective seems to be filling every possible seat and flying their planes as full as possible. Actually, all airlines try to do this, and the biggest of them (AA and UA) put their full planes (read: their profits) ahead of their customers by overselling the heck out of each flight, and having many passengers eagerly waiting for a seat on “standby”. The problem here is that if you miss a connection, you’re basically screwed because they’re giving away your seat and you’re going to sit on your hands hoping to get a seat at some point, somehow, to your final destination. To hell with your vacation or work plans.

I had this epiphany a few weeks after swapping air travel stories with another passenger during a Southwest flight from LGA to DEN.

Recently, I’ve been flying a lot on JetBlue and Southwest. This month, I’ve booked two trips with JB. That’s right, I’m turning my back on Priority Status with AA because JetBlue schedules are better, fares are lower, and their seats are more comfortable.

Over all, I’ve been very happy with JB. Then, on June 19th, 2016, this happened: I was greeted by a Jet Blue pilot who was commuting home (on this very same flight, a month ago). He recognized me (probably because I talked his ears off last time) and he wished me a happy Father’s Day. Hey, I know that’s no big deal, but I’m like a kid in a candy store when I get to chit chat with professional pilots about airplanes and about their jobs. So for this guy to acknowledge me made my day.

After we arrived, like a knucklehead, I’m the guy who left my phone in the seat-back pocket. Of course I was in a hurry to exit because I had to pee for about 2 states! And I didn’t realize I had left my phone until I exited the secure area at Dulles airport. No way to double back to the gate! UGH! So I went to the check-in counter and asked the agent for help. He made a call and asked me to take a seat. 2 minutes later, he came over and told me they found the phone and to go to the office by baggage claim to retrieve it. By the time I got there, the phone was waiting for me.

An open letter to McDonald’s

I just saw a McDonald’s commercial, in which you show Quarter Pounder with cheese, wrapped with your whole “loving it” campaign. Then I thought about all those reports how your earnings are down 20% in recent time. Forgetting for a moment how the stock price is up about 50% in the past 5 years, let me give you my explanation for your one-fifth decline in business.

Everyone knows your commercials are a lie.

Your new marketing plan is intended to lure back the people who have abandoned the brand – people just like me. Your commercial shows a beautiful sandwich being assembled with tasty-looking ingredients. McDonald’s has also been struggling to “enhance” its menu with healthier foods, but the attrition is not slowing. Why?

I’ve got guilt issues here.

Your commercial is all warm and fuzzy. Yay! No guilt! But I don’t feel it because I want a cheeseburger, and cheeseburgers aren’t a healthy choice, so I feel guilty. And if I’m going to eat one, it’s had better be a damn good cheeseburger, made with real food. I’m not going to go eat bread that doesn’t mold, meat that doesn’t rot, with a side of fries that come from potatoes that will never sprout, and an HFCS-laden beverage that will do more to hurt my insides than just about anything else the FDA claims humans can be fed. Then there are the sub-par wages and working conditions for your employees. I’m just not lovin’ it.

You’re just afraid of reinventing the wheel. I’m sure the brand purists don’t want you to change. Well, newsflash: the crap you serve today is not what you served 50 years ago. I’ll concede that this is largely due to the commercialization of the food production industry. But you’ve just made it worse by cheapening your product so you could maximize shelf-life and profit.

And don’t tell me I could get a salad wrap instead. I’m not interested in eating your salad that never turns brown, topped with dressing that will put more calories and fat in me than a Big Mac. It’s not about avoiding the unhealthy foods. It’s about you serving chemicals – poisons – in your food. The pink slime opened my eyes; and although you claim to not use that stuff anymore, I know your food is still devoid of anything nutritional. The slick food quality section of your web site, to me, looks like a heavily researched and produced spin, intended to reverse the perception of your food being sub-par. But I don’t buy it.

There’s a difference between a cheeseburger and fries being high in fat and sodium (which isn’t really good for you) versus eating amonium-hydroxide, sodium propionate, and other crap you infuse into your foods, which is really bad for you. Yes, yes, I know, the FDA says it’s safe. Well I disagree. And you’re down 20%. Do the math.

And while people have explained that chemicals aren’t why your foods don’t spoil, you know McDonald’s tastes differently in other countries. Your food tastes better, in my opinion, in Canada and Mexico and all over Europe, where they don’t allow you to feed the consumer the chemicals and nonsense that the (arguably useless) FDA allows here in the States.

The problem is not what you serve, is what’s in what you serve. Change that, and I’ll come back (every now and then).

Unable to escape the moving roadblock, I relent and look to the other side of the highway; 495 Eastbound is completely closed. That never happens unless there’s an investigation… With a fatality.

And there it was. A white sheet draped over the unmistakable shape of a person, in the middle lane.

There was a makeshift barricade attempting to give the deceased some dignity.

Suddenly, I’m not in such a hurry any more. There was nothing surreal about someone who is no more, lying motionless on the cold, hard pavement. Friend, please take an extra minute to get where you’re going, so you *do* get there.