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Pratiksha asked

Hi Sairee, I am fortunate to connect to you but I am writing this question with not a very good vibe

Hi Sairee, I am fortunate to connect to you but I am writing this question with not a very good vibe as I feel it around me. I really hope you can guide me through this situation. I am a Software professional with 5.5 years work exp. I recently switched my company and I have alot of learning and professional growth expectations from this firm. As I try myself to involve more deeply into projects and ask questions to the Onshore team, I can somehow feel hidden and a negative vibe from 1-2 teammates ( one male and one female). The female teammate of mine and I had a small issue before related to cab transport issue but I was able to resolve and eventually avoided such conflicts.I could sense both teammates are not very welcoming, I feel as if they talk about me in their language and condemn about my proceedings because they want things their way for instance leaving early, a detailed KT(training) ;which I never criticized. It is the starting phase of project and I am very scared to get into any such team politics. I am not feeling the team spirit. We got team lead also today but pl guide on how to behave and proceed. I am just blank and sad about it.Thanks in advance!! 10 Jan 2017, 12:17am

Hi Pratiksha ,\n\nThank you for writing in ! \n\nThis is indeed a very tricky situation to navigate - what would you feel about forgoing politics or avoidance altogether and being upfront and honest about this with them ? Especially since you are the team lead. \n\nHere is a possible way to deal with them : \n\nStep 1 - Ask each one individually if you can speak for some time along. Perhaps over lunch or while getting tea in the pantry. Listen to the employee or coworker’s complaints until you are certain that they feel heard out and listened to. Sometimes people repeat negative sentiments over and over because they don’t feel like you have really listened to them. Ask questions. Clarify their statements. Make sure you have actively listened. \n\nStep 2 - Decide if you believe the employee or coworker has legitimate reasons for their negativity. If you decide affirmatively, ask if they’d like your help to solve the problem. If they ask for help, provide advice or ideas for how the coworker can address the reason for their negativity.\nShort term advice that points a person in a positive direction is welcome. But, your role is not to provide therapy or counseling. Nor is your role to provide comprehensive career advice or long-term recommendations. Point the coworker to helpful books, seminars, or the Human Resources Department to solve their problem. Know your limits when advising coworkers.\n\nStep 3 - Sometimes, the coworker just wants to complain to a friendly, listening ear; they don’t want your advice or assistance to address the situation. Listen, but set limits so the coworker does not overstay or over-talk his or her welcome. Long term complaining saps your energy and positive outlook. Don’t allow that to happen. Walk away. Tell the coworker you’d prefer to move on to more positive subjects.\n\nStep 4- If you listen to the coworker’s negativity and decide the concerns are not legitimate, practice personal courage and tell them what you think. Tell the coworker you care about their concern and about their happiness at work, but you disagree with their assessment of the situation.\nBack gracefully out of additional conversations. The coworker will attempt to appeal to your sympathetic nature, but if you believe the negativity is unwarranted, don’t spend your time listening or helping the coworker to address the negative feelings. You will only encourage long-term and growing negative feelings and, potentially, behavior. You will set yourself up as a negativity magnet. Constant negative interactions will eventually permeate your interaction with your workplace.\n\nWhat do you think of that approach ?\nView Less

Hi Pratiksha ,\n\nThank you for writing in ! \n\nThis is indeed a very tricky situation to navigate