12/23/2007

What I Learned At the First Reading

I meant to learn from the experience of that first reading and I did. I learned that I should go first or second, but never go last.

Don't know about you but when I'm told to prepare a reading that is 15 minutes tops, I prepare 12 minutes because when you are one of three PLUS musical interludes, 15 minutes of being read to is potential torture. Those who read before me read for 36 & 40 minutes and by the time I went up, I was ready to shoot someone.

It was hard to say, "Alice, chill." I did not take my time, I raced through my pages because material because all I was thinking was that the audience needed to be released from their chairs!

Though the turnout was fantastic and i was able to get a few laughs, and they seemed to really like the way I personified Syrah, it was just too much to ask the audience to sit still a little longer. Later, to make it all worse, viewing the video was as humiliating as seeing your ex-lover in the supermarket on a day you might have forgotten to brush your teeth. Torture. Why were my teeth glinting? Why didn't I pause. Why didn't I read louder? Why do I look so old! Damn, couldn't I have had this book published ten years ago when my face was firmer? I started to appreciate why so many authors go ahead and get plastic surgery for the book tour.

You think I'm critical of wine lists? Hell, that has nothing on the amount of condemnation I can self-inflict. Yet, I don't want to get slick and mediafied, and frankly, I think I'm too old (and too resistant) to learn those tricks but I do want to 1) look good. 2) sound good. 3) have my brain working on all plugs. That isn't so much to ask. What do you think? Start taking cod liver oil, and would that ruin my palate?

I'm hunting the Leon Trotskys, the Philip Roths, the Chaucers and the Edith Whartons of the wine world. I want them natural and most of all, I want them to speak the truth even if we argue. With this messiah thing going on, I'm trying to swell the ranks of those who crave the differences in each vintage, celebrate nuance and desire wines that make them think, laugh, and feel. Welcome.

And, if you'd like a signed copy of either THE BATTLE FOR WINE AND LOVE OR HOW I SAVED THE WORLD FROM PARKERIZATION or NAKED WINE, feel free to contact me directly.