Is it important to label yourself? Straight, gay, bi, what does it really matter. Are we not the same person underneath it all. WHat if we do not know our sexual orientation. Do we feel bad that we have no compartment to place ourselves in.

I have spent way too much time agonizing on it. I am who I am, no matter what. I still don't know where I fit in, but I am not going to waste my time anymore. I have been celebate for 8 years, and when I find someone I can feel a deep, spiritual connection with, I will reevaluate my position.

I guess the simple answer is that it is important if there is discomfort in not knowing, or if there are problems driving the confusion.

That does not seem to be the case for you. Sometimes it's not for me, but most of the time it is. For me, I think there is something hidden driving the confusion, and so I don't want to just accept the ambiguity. Itís not my primary concern, but it is a concern.

I would only add one thought here that comes from my own experience. I am very sad that I have never had children. My own childhood was so unpleasant that it took me decades to realize that not all children grow up in misery and that it might be possible for me to create a loving environment for children of my own. And when I did realize it and also realize that I wanted a family, it was too late. This was nothing I ever expected to happen, but there it is as reality today.

So no, I don't think there is any inherent reason why you should not leave this issue on hold except that in general, while I left the business of pursuing my recovery work on hold, life was passing by and with it I let some options close themselves off that I wish I had not. Obviously we all walk our own paths. But I'd just suggest that if you're leaving it on hold for a reason, that's great. If you're leaving it on hold because it's painful or difficult to face, it may get tougher and produce unexpected problems the more you wait. Personally, I wish I had gotten on top of all of this stuff back when I was a much younger man.

I don't mean that to sound preachy, because obviously I don't know your story. So if it sounds like bad advice to you, it probably is and in that case please disregard it.

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