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Saturday, March 19, 2011

March of Kindness: Following Beanie's Lead

It's the end of another week in our March of Kindness with Code Name: Mama (and amazingly I'm actually getting this post up on Saturday!). Something we've really been trying to focus on, not for the March of Kindness but just all around and for the last few months, is spending one on one time with Beanie, playing with her and following her lead.

My counselor told me the following about how an older sibling might feel about their new brother or sister:

Imagine that your partner puts an arm around you and says, "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife (or husband or partner) just like you." When the new wife (or husband or partner) finally arrives, you see that (s)he's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't (s)he adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask, "How do you like the new wife (or husband or partner)?" (more on siblings here)

I also am almost done reading Playful Parenting (which I really can't recommend enough!) so we are taking those ideas and running with them.

All this to say that this last week we really had some good times with Beanie. I'm sure things are easier because Glenn has been on vacation the last ten days so we've had lots of opportunities for one on one time with the kids. I thought for this weeks wrap-up I'd share a few of the things we did to really make Beanie feel special and important (which, of course, she is, but I think it's been a big change having a needy little brother):

Wednesday afternoons are always busy for us; I have my counseling session and then a chiropractic appointment immediately afterward. Then rush home, eat dinner, etc. Apparently this week while I was gone, Beanie fell asleep while cuddling with Glenn on the couch. As soon as she woke up she said, "Let's go to the park!" I could think of about a dozen other things to do; my counseling sessions have been hard (which Glenn assures me means they're working), I'm nervous about my chiropractic benefits running out, we needed to make dinner, I wanted to relax, etc. But, off we went to the park. And we had a great time!

After Bubby's morning nap on Thursday, Glenn and I were sitting on the couch discussing what we should do with our day. Beanie walked out and said, "We should go to the zoo. We can see lots of animals and maybe some penguins, too." Again, the laundry list of things that we needed to do (like laundry) crossed my mind, but we packed lunch and headed to the zoo.

This morning, Glenn took Beanie out for a Daddy-Daughter date at the pancake store (aka a local restaurant). This was the perfect Daddy-Daughter date since I can't eat at the pancake store anymore. During breakfast, Beanie mentioned that it was sunny out and she'd like to go the "Clifford Park" later in the day. We incorporated that into our plans. And -- bonus -- some friends were close by and met us there. Perfect!

I think that it's easy for us, as parents, to get caught up in the want-to's and need-to's when, in reality, the thing we really need to do is care for our children and help them grow to their fullest potential. The best thing we can do is follow our child's lead and let them know that we really do think what they want to do is important too.

Other random acts of kindness this week included waking up early and making coffee and breakfast for Glenn, making a big pot of pasta sauce and freezing half for a friend who just gave birth, and making sure I was able to take some time for myself.

5 comments:

Thank you for the mention! I love that you shared your week. I also love "Playful Parenting" and read it every so often to remind myself of things that don't come naturally. My reptile parenting brain doesn't always keep up with my big parenting heart (and it sometimes takes control of my mouth, too. Grrr!) I just started "The Power of Play" by David Elkind. Hopefully, with all this reinforcement, I'll give my kids a somewhat magical childhood.

I am enjoying your blog, I am a single father who is involved with a 36 year old woman who has not had children yet but we have been talking about it and she has the baby bug so were starting to try. My only son is 12 so I really don't remember anything about what it was like to have a little one in the house but your site has been a great resource of remembrance and new ideas. thanks!

This is a wonderful post full of things to think about! I try really hard to make the most of each day and play more, and it always ends up being fun even if I have to just plain ignore those nagging feelings or have someone force me out of the house ;) So glad you guys enjoyed the hubby's vacation!