Thursday, April 12, 2007

Buon Compleanno!

In honor of my youngest daughter's 5th birthday today, I thought I'd tell you how birthdays are celebrated here in Italy.

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The photo on the right was taken almost three years ago, when my now-5-year-old daughter was 2, and my almost-8-year-old was 5. My husband's great aunt has the same birthday as my oldest daughter, so here they were blowing out the great aunt's numeral "80" candles plus 5 pink candles for my daughter. (Just an aside...notice the great aunt is wearing an undershirt, house dress and a wool sweater draped over her shoulders, while my daughters both have on short-sleeved shirts--it was 80 degrees outside).

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Okay, then...on to Italian birthday parties for bambini. Here's how it usually breaks down:

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3:30-- starting time for the party, as written on the invitation

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4:00-- The first guests start showing up, with the last guests trickling in around 5:30. As soon as you arrive with the gift (no card), the birthday child grabs it, tears open the wrapping and flings the paper and ribbons to the ground for the mother to pick up (I think this is pretty much universal). The other children all pounce on the new toy and play with it until it either breaks, or ends up somewhere under the cake table. As you might imagine, there's no way of really keeping track of who gave which present--often the parents don't even see all the gifts until after the party ends. As such, it's impossible to send thank you notes, so no one ever does.

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4:00-7:30-- The children run wild, while parents sit around sipping wine. Usually there is no theme or organized games, although lately I have seen some parties where the parents hire a teenager to run some games. Most people's apartments are too small to host parties, since kids usually invite their whole class. And children's parties are often a family affair, meaning each guest comes with parents and siblings, so indoor parties are typically held either in a church hall or a gym. The acoustics in these types of venues make the children's whoops and yells seem 75,000 times louder than usual. This, in my opinion, is why the parents sip wine (or at least it's why I sip wine).

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The food varies a bit, but there are always pizzette (little pizzas), cheese, bread and deli meats, and often little sandwiches made of Nutella (a chocolate hazelnut spread that's quite possibly the best food ever invented). The kids usually drink soft drinks, especially aranciata (orange soda).

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7:30-- Just when you think you can't take the chaos another second longer, they roll out the cake. The kids all gather round trying to blow out the candles before the birthday child gets to, usually resulting in tears ("It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to...). You'd think the parents of the candle-blower-outers would intervene, but nay...they're usually chatting (and still sipping) somewhere on the other side of the room.

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The kids sing "Happy Birthday," which in Italian isn't really "Happy Birthday"--it translates to "Many good wishes to you...". Interestingly enough, they often then launch into the English rendition, which is cute with their accents...the Italian language doesn't have the "th" sound, so it comes out more like: "Happy Bert-day to you..."

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After the cake, the kids are usually given little bags of candy as party favors. Then the parents start to gather their sugared-up kids and head for home, although some hang around for another hour or so.

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So what do we have planned for our daughter's party? Tonight will be the family celebration at a pizzeria, then Sunday we'll have the party with her friends. We'll still have a theme and a few games, and I'm actually making the cake--you can find American cake mixes in the "gourmet foods" section of the supermarket for about 5 bucks per box. Ouch. But since Italians almost never make their own cakes, they always assume I made mine from scratch (shhhh). So that part is American.

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As for the Italian side...I don't stress when the first guest shows up a half-hour late. I don't try to plan activities down to the last minute. I've stopped insisting that we bring out the cake by 5:00. I don't send thank-you notes (solely as an attempt to honor the culture of my host country, of course). And don't forget the wine. When in Rome, and all that...

2 comments:

Hope your cake turns out great! My boy's fifth birthday party is in a couple of months...we're throwing a pirate-themed party for a zillion kids. I think the idea of drinking wine and letting the kids run wild sounds a lot better.

"I've just had an Italian moment."
An expat friend of mine used to say this when referring to moments of:
1. bewilderment (attempting to drive for the first--or fiftieth--time in Italy),
2. mind-boggling frustration (including any and all experiences with bureaucratic Italian paperwork, which must be officially stamped to within an inch of its life), and
3. awe (drinking a creamy cappuccino in an outdoor cafe, surrounded by 300-year-old buildings).

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"I've just had an Italian moment."
An expat friend of mine used to say this when referring to moments of:
1. bewilderment (attempting to drive for the first--or fiftieth--time in Italy),
2. mind-boggling frustration (including any and all experiences with bureaucratic Italian paperwork, which must be officially stamped to within an inch of its life), and
3. awe (drinking a creamy cappuccino in an outdoor cafe, surrounded by 300-year-old buildings).