Dear Dr. V,I’m three months pregnant. The other day I got into an argument with my boyfriend when I asked him to take me to a doctor’s appointment. He started yelling and later said that my No. 1 job was to not "piss him off."

Everyone thinks he’s impatient except for him. How do I show him how he really acts? Every time I tell him he hurts my feelings, he turns it around and tells me that I don't care about his. What do I do?

- Rania K.

Dear Rania,Congratulations on your pregnancy! Whatever challenges you face now or later, you’ve been blessed with one of the most wondrous joys in life.

I disagree with your boyfriend: Your No.1 job is to take care of yourself and your baby. If your boyfriend wants to stay with you, his No.1 job needs to be helping you.

What should you do, outside of calling him out as a bully? Let him know that you’ll be tape-recording all conflicts so that you both can rewind, listen and learn how to effectively track them.

Your boyfriend may be afraid of fatherhood and that may make him aggressive toward you. In our culture, men are indoctrinated to view fatherhood as a death sentence of sorts: Good-bye to fun, sex and nights out with the boys.

Of course, the responsibility for a tiny human cuts into the social calendar, but with these short-term losses come amazing gains — both spiritual and emotional.

If you’re open to it, you’ll both be amazed at the new people you grow into as parents.

Couples’ counseling could help you work through your issues. As your pregnancy progresses, you’ll need more support in all areas of your life. You deserve having those closest to you be as loving and empathetic as possible.

Your partner needs to be a man and take care of his woman. If he’s unwilling, it’s time to seriously reconsider your — and your child’s — future with this man.

Dear Dr. V,I met a guy online and we talked for months over the phone. After I traveled to his hometown to meet him, we agreed he’d come live with me. A month after moving in, he still hadn’t found a job and my son discovered he’s been emailing another woman.

He also said he had two grown daughters, but I’ve learned he has five children – the youngest is 5 years old. I told him to leave, even though he said we were soulmates and that he wanted to get married next year.

He’s been gone for almost a week now and I truly miss him. We’ve agreed not to call it quits yet, but he needs time to get his life in order. Do you think I acted too hastily in asking him to move out?

- Linda P.

Dear Linda,No! Asking this man to move out was absolutely the right decision.

The real question here: Why are you staying with this guy in the first place? He has a problem with compulsive lying.

He has already lied to you about his life and he may have been pursuing a romantic relationship with another woman under your roof. That's not exactly loving behavior.

You need to think about why you love him. Is there something special about this man or does he have traits you might find attractive in someone else?

If you fell in love with him because of his words and stories, you need to consider that he was lying from the beginning.

Don’t you deserve a soulmate who loves you enough to be honest? Are you willing to seek out a new companion who could fulfill these needs?

If, after thinking about it, you still feel deeply drawn to him, do your homework. Compulsive lying is often the symptom of a bigger issue.

You can learn strategies to deal with this, so I suggest you ask him to see a therapist or go together. If he isn’t willing, that’s a real sign of his lack of commitment to your relationship.

Whatever you do, please slow down this relationship.

If you’re really soulmates, he should understand your desire not to rush into marriage.

You deserve to have an honest, loving person in your life. If this guy can’t be that now, who’s to say he’ll change once you’re married?

Dear Dr. V,I’ve been with this guy for a little over a year. I used to be an exotic dancer, but I quit for him and got a regular job.

Since then I have so much resentment toward him. Even though I'm working a regular job, he thinks I'm always flirting with everyone. He goes through my phone bill, but the minute I ask to see his, he flips out.

I gave up a lot for him and I don't know what I can do to make him see this. I've tried talking to him, but it just turns into a screaming match. What can I do?

- Tammi S.

Dear Tammi,When you think about it, trust is really faith in the relationship – a belief, reinforced by your love, that you’re both honoring your commitment to each other.

If trust is truly present, there’s no need for concrete proof of your fidelity; your hearts tell you all you need to know.

So talk this out with your boyfriend. I know this is easier said than done. But if you can approach the topic without joining in the shouting, you might be surprised at the results. If you can keep your center, you might finally be able to get to the root of his insecurity.

Of course, he may still get worked up even if you refuse to argue. Then you should respectfully disengage from the discussion. Simply say you want to talk later, when you both have had time to calm down.

It can be very difficult to keep your cool when someone is pushing your buttons. But you know you’ve been faithful and that his upsetting words are just words, with only as much power as you give them.

Ultimately, though, if there’s no real trust in your relationship, then there isn’t anywhere for it to go.

Dear Dr. V,My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married for 13. He’s my first love. He was unfaithful many times before we married, but, as far as I know, he hasn't cheated since.

Now I feel we’re headed in different directions. I have doubts that I’m in love with him. Sometimes I fantasize about what it would be like to be a single mom. I even had a short affair last year – I really enjoyed it too.

Does this mean I have fallen out of love with him? My husband doesn't know about the affair and he would kill me if he found out. Help!

- Mel F.

Dear Mel,Infidelity is an extremely aggressive behavior and a symptom of a larger problem within the relationship.

For example, he was unfaithful to you “many times” and yet you still married him. Did you doubt his love for you 13 years ago?

But to answer your question: Infidelity and a person’s definition of “love” may have no correlation. You may want to consider how you and your husband are expressing anger.

It’s OK to feel angry or upset with each other at times, but these feelings should be dealt with honestly and directly while remaining empathetic toward the other person.

Perhaps this difficulty in dealing with anger comes out as infidelities and fantasies, which are actually emotional boxing matches. You’re both throwing punches and getting hurt, but the problems aren’t being solved.

Is He Your Soulmate?Your soulmate is someone who lights the fire inside you, someone you love unequivocally and who shares your world view. So does your guy make the grade? Or are you settling for a relationship that's just "nice"? Take this quiz to find out now if he's your soulmate.

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