I’m stumped

I need help. I really don’t know what to think of this story. Part of me says it’s creepy, part of me says it’s sweet. Either way, I feel very sorry for this poor woman (and the countless ones in her situation).

A California man has signed papers to symbolically “adopt” and give his last name to his wife’s two aborted fetuses.

Stan Musil said he filed the posthumous “adoption” on Monday as a way to support his wife, Lisa, and help her heal from the pain of having those abortions, Lisa Musil told FOXNews.com.

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Andrea’s gut reaction: It’s weird, but what he is essentially saying to her is I accept you and your past. She is obviously still very much struggling with herself. In that sense, I don’t have a problem with it. That said, this information is not news; it belongs in a counsellor’s office.

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Rebecca adds:It’s creepy because it’s, well, a bit ghoulish – and I’d feel the same way about, say, getting a dead adult you were close to in life to “symbolically adopt” you. It’s sweet because this guy is willing to do something weird to bring his wife some peace. And it’s a wonderful story in that it makes it clear that abortion causes suffering and anguish for women, and it also makes it clear that these were babies that were aborted – nobody grieves over (to pick at random) a surgically removed kidney, much less asks her husband to symbolically adopt a destroyed kidney. The legions of counsellors telling women that most women just feel relief after an abortion – what would they say to Lisa Musil? How do they explain that? Are they willing to concede, in this case at least, that her two abortions ended two lives and caused profound suffering in another?

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Tanya adds: I think the motivation behind this act is what could potentially render it creepy or anything else. In this case, however, I’m really touched by the couple’s actions. In giving the children a full name, these are clearly being recognized as people. The symbolic act of adoption by her husband is the closest these 4 people will ever be to a close family. It’s not like the man can say, “hey, let’s have your boys over for a barbecue.” He’s accepting his wife’ past. He’s recognizing that she loves the children she aborted, and misses them. He’s loving and missing them along with her. He’s symbolically taking on the role he would have, were they still alive today.

I agree that this belongs in a counselor’s office, but I do find this story sweet. I think it seems creepy because it’s a seemingly unnatural thing to do – adopt a dead baby? But abortion is unnatural, so it makes some sense that the healing process might be unnatural. Also, I find this story similar to recommended post-miscarriage healing techniques – naming your baby, buying a toy or outfit as a keepsake, writing a letter to your baby. Yes, this situation takes it to another level, but I can see the merit.

I find it more sweet than creepy, though it might go a bit far for a lot of people (I would think naming the babies would do, but I’m not them). I would imagine the wife was incredibly touched by that gesture after so many years of struggling with grief. Pushing abortion as a way to solve one’s problems is creepy. This is harmless at worst.

Hello all! I just happened to fall upon your correspondence with one another. I love what you all had to say, and may I say, I’m the Lisa Musil in the story. Most of what each of you said was so sweet and truly brought a tear to my eyes.

Tanya: “In giving the children a full name, these are clearly being recognized as people.” That is exactly what I wanted to do is to show the world that our babies are people. Not a blob of tissue.

This was just the most loving action that my husband could have made. And Tanya I also loved: “It’s not like the man can say, “hey, let’s have your boys over for a barbecue.” He’s accepting his wife’ past. He’s recognizing that she loves the children she aborted, and misses them. He’s loving and missing them along with her. He’s symbolically taking on the role he would have, were they still alive today.” That is so beautiful and that is exactly how he made me feel.

When he talked, the first time, about OUR children, it was the first time I’ve ever heard that. You see – I cannot have children today. So to have my wonderful husband acknowledge my children as our children just brought a new level of love in our marriage.

I’m glad that you each found the level of honor and respect that this now gives to the unborn. I didn’t itend for this to sound ‘creepy’ or anything. 🙂 It was a wonderful act of love from a husband to his barren wife.

And lastly – the Counselor that healed me … His name is Jesus Christ so I truly have been counseled and healed in the best way!

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