Learning to Disconnect and Listen

September 18, 2013

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When we decided to travel to Hawaii for a month, I made a conscious decision to try to make it as much of a real vacation as possible. I can’t remember when last time I took a real vacation. As a freelancer, your schedule is flexible and you often work around and through things…like vacations because when you take time off, you aren’t billing or making money.

But I knew that my body, mind and spirit needed to be refreshed. So, I made arrangements, told my clients that I was going to be unavailable until after Labor Day, made peace with my break from blogging and social media (mostly) and got on an airplane.

The first week in Hawaii was blissful and peaceful. I loved being in a new and beautiful place. I loved having no expectations or obligations bearing down on my shoulders. I loved being able to just be with my family and to laugh and smile and enjoy. I loved saying yes to the boys – about 10 times more often than I do at home. I felt like it had been a long time since I really did that or at least really let myself be that unencumbered and free.

My vacation and the slower lifestyle we adopted in Hawaii made me realize some interesting things about myself and what makes me tick. It’s also given me a lot to think about in terms of what I need and want to work on.

At home, we have the buffer of school, after-school activities, friends, and work but on vacation, it was just us together all.the.time. Yes, it was a rare opportunity to really plug into each other and be present but it does take getting used to. There’s an adjustment period. And as an introvert, I was longing to retreat, reset and recalibrate so that I could continue to be present and have fun.

I have no idea how I accomplish anything at home. Seriously, there was no work or school in Hawaii. All we had to do was get up, figure out our plan for the day, go to the pool/beach/surf/hike/snorkel/explore, feed ourselves, bathe ourselves and go to sleep. And that’s pretty much all I was capable of accomplishing most days. I was exhausted by 8pm and in bed mostly nights by 9 or 10pm – about 3-4 hours earlier than I’m in bed normally.

I get anxious when I feel like I’m unproductive. I intentionally cleared my to-do list before going on vacation. OK, I did have a short list of things that I wanted to accomplish while on vacation, like read some books, learn how to use my DSLR properly and write but there were no real deadlines.

Somewhere around week two, I started to feel the weight of the lack of productivity bear down on me and the anxiety rising. I felt so restless in my own skin, like a cat trying to claw its way out.

This made me think a lot about what being productive means to me and how to recalibrate that meaning. We weren’t being “productive” and I don’t think that I accomplished anything on my short list. But we were squeezing as much out of each day as possible (see above) and living.

I don’t do well without a to-do list and without being busy. I had hoped that vacation would free up time for me to write and pitch freelance pieces but I found that I was less creative and more sluggish. I couldn’t get myself to write and I felt like all the ideas I came up with were stale. My husband and I talked about how I do too much and commit to too much but I think that there’s a part of me that needs that pressure. Or at least I think that I do.

At the same time, I need to lighten my load. While I do like to be busy, I realized that I had a lot of extra filler in my life. I did feel lighter by eliminating those things during vacation. Maintaining that lightness has been tricky since we’ve returned home but I don’t want to fill my life up only with busy things again.

I feel ambivalent about blogging and social media. I do. I missed writing regularly and sharing stories with all of you (hence the backlog of Hawaii posts!). I thought about this blog a bit while we were away – what I want to accomplish with it, the types of posts I want to and like writing, my amazing readers who inspire me, and what value I add. I treasure this space for so many reasons but mainly it has helped me to reflect on my experiences and has helped me to learn and grow. But honestly? I don’t know.

While I did read blogs while we were away, I just didn’t comment or only commented when I truly had something to add. That in and of itself made me feel 10 times lighter.

The thing is, life goes on. If I don’t know what someone is doing 5 seconds after they do it by seeing their Instagram photo or if I don’t update everyone about everything I do, that’s OK. Remember how we used to keep in touch with family and friends before blogs and social media? By phone, over a cup of coffee or through a letter.

I do think that there is a benefit to lightening our online load. Just imagine the space, clarity and energy that may open up.

Disconnecting forced me to listen more. It forced me to pay attention to what was going on around me, what I was thinking and feeling. I didn’t have my social media feeds to distract me from paying attention to those thoughts and feelings. I had to sit with them, even the uncomfortable ones, and provided some clarity on areas that I want to continue to work on – that I need to work on. By disconnecting, we can get better at listening.

I didn’t mean for this post to be a downer or so long (sorry!). I did come home feeling refreshed and I’m thankful that my family had this time together. I’m thankful for the lessons, even if some were tough to digest. But that’s how we grow, right?

Comments

I know from being on vacation that initial feeling – so energetic and happy to be spending time with family, away from home, no to-do lists. Then after the first week, the crankiness and wanted space creep in. I think it’s natural. We like schedules and to-do lists. It keeps our minds occupied. It’s just when we get over scheduled that life starts to go at warp speed and you can’t get off the train.

And I totally get the blogging thing. When you don’t “have to” comment, respond, promote your post – it takes on a whole different realm.Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted..A Day in the Life

I’d like to figure out how to stop the train from going to warp speed without permission. It’s nuts sometimes. And the blogging thing feels like a total catch-22 sometimes. I do love it and I love the interaction both here and on others’ blogs but I also don’t want it to feel like a chore.Christine Yu recently posted..Sunrise Surf, Yoga Sutras and Mantras

We have similar personalities. Unproductive = feeling anxious for sure. But, when I force myself to slow down and disconnect it’s worth it in the end. Oh, and I have an exhausting family too…that I love!Jill @ Fitness, Health and Happiness recently posted..A Day In the Life

I can relate to so many of the things you mention here. Disconnecting is great…for a while. Even though you say you’re an introvert, you share so many beautiful and insightful things and are truly appreciated for how open you are on this blog. That month-long vacation gave you a lot of space. Maybe you’re just feeling the weight of it now that you’re back and connected? Give yourself time to let things settle and you’ll know what it is you want. You give so much and this reader definitely appreciates it!Allie recently posted..Random Acts of Funny – Toddler Style

Thank you Allie for your kind words. I think that it’s a lot easier for me to be open and express myself here than in person for sure (ha! ask my husband). I think that it is partially feeling the weight of it all since returning home and the rush rush of back-to-school and work and everything. I’m hoping that things settle and I think that it also means that I need to change somethings so it doesn’t feel so weighty. xoChristine Yu recently posted..Sunrise Surf, Yoga Sutras and Mantras

I don’t think this post is a downer! It’s an honest reflection & full of lessons & learnings we can all use. 24/7 with your family for a month? Super woman! Nuff said! And I completely agree about lightening our digital load. I love blogging but when I think about the time I’m spending, I wonder if I should use that time in more meaningful ways. Like sitting with my girls in the a.m. instead of going thru my blog feed. It’s fine line between blogging as an outlet & connecting with others and letting it take away from real life.Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted..Race Recap: Bays Mountain 15-Miler

Thanks Nicole. I do think that it’s the tremendous amount of time that we spend on blogging and definitely a fine line. Sometimes the balance is easier to maintain and other times it’s much harder.Christine Yu recently posted..Sunrise Surf, Yoga Sutras and Mantras

I can totally relate about feeling unproductive and needing a to-do list! I am such a planner and doer that I have a hard time letting those things go.Madeline @ Food Fitness and Family recently posted..WIAW

i had an anxiety issue in New Zealand the first 2 weeks. I didn’t know what to do. I felt lazy but i was far from it. I adjusted, and thank goodness i did because i would have wasted another 3 months. But i get it, wanting for feel a little pressure is good, too much… bad.
And what you said, the phone calls and the coffee dates, yes—-> WE forget to CONNECT there. I am working on it! Which makes me want to escape back to NZ. and If racing or healthy bites don’t work out, we just might. I’d be ready for either. Thanks for sharing. Loved seeing the pictures of peacefulness.lindsay recently posted..Race Week: living on chances.. and protein

Yes. I miss the connecting sometimes. And the balance between good pressure and bad pressure feels like it’s so elusive sometimes or at least it gets out of whack pretty quickly. Let’s all move to NZ! I think that’s the answer, yes?Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

Amazing pictures! I think we have a lot in common! I struggle with taking time off myself and actually think that this would be the way to do it because I would certainly need the time to soak it all in. I definitely get anxiety when I’m not feeling productive so I can totally relate! Thank you for sharing your experience. Super insightful!

Did I write this? ! Wish I had because it’s so spot on and something I can 100% identify with. Especially feeling anxious when I’m not busy enough and being ambivalent about social media. These days I’m more of a watcher of what’s happening and not necessarily a participator. I always tell people that even though I may not comment, I’m still reading!Heidi @BananaBuzzbomb recently posted..I Love Running In PHX

I think that I need to be more of a watcher on social media for a while but then I get sucked back in. Catch 22 for me but I do think that it’s the social media part that weighs me down the most lately. Trying to find a good balance is tough!Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

What a great opportunity to see where and who you are right now! I think it’s great that you paid attention and “took notes” on what’s working/what’s not for you. I can so relate to the need for the quiet downtime, sans anyone else. I have just realized this year that I need that in my life. I can easily imagine how being on vacation that long, while wonderful, would leave me craving that quiet time, too.

And I will admit that while I was unplugged for a week in August, I didn’t miss blogging and all the frenzy that goes with it, either. It’s odd–I don’t want to quit right now but I can definitely live w/o it, too. Let it ride a while and see where you want to go.

Thanks for sharing this unique opportunity with us!misszippy recently posted..A day in the life

I do miss connecting with friends over the phone or face-to-face with coffee. Now everyone is so busy that social media is keeping us semi connected…but I crave the hugs or their voices! I think the key in lightening your load that you perfectly said was that we need to be mindful that we don’t begin to fill those holes again. I go through periods of my life where I come to the other side and think “I have no idea how I just got through this and I am so thankful now that I have more time”…then proceed to fill that time with something new. I need to remember that those holes are gifts and do not need to be filled!Fancy Nancy recently posted..A Day in the Life

I think that it’s the semi-connected thing that gets me the most – you kind of feel like you know what’s going on because of the status updates and all but it’s not what’s really going on. And I love how you put it – those holes are gifts! I need to remember that.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

ahh you know I can relate to lots of this (um except the anxious when unproductive I GET SOO ANXIOUS when I dont have a book beside me to read but thats it).
and more than anything I love your willingness to be honest and not say RAH RAH I MISSED TWITTER!!!!!! and simply share the fact you do not know.
I do not know either.Miz recently posted..Deconveniencing our lives.

I always get that feeling when I return from trips! Typically my vacations involve backcountry which means I am disconnected, like it or not (love it). I often come back and wonder whether I want to jump back in again…Colorado Gal recently posted..And Then The Rains Came: Gates of the Arctic National Park

I can totally relate. I had two weeks off this summer and while it was great to do nothing, I did feel myself getting antsy to get back to our routine. As much as I would love to spend all my time with Tommy and Alex, I do know that we do need to get away from each other sometimes to appreciate the time that we do have together.Sylvia @ Frolic Through Life recently posted..Birthday Weekend in the Finger Lakes

It’s really hard to sit with the uncomfortableness. I’m trying to get better but man, there were a few days that were ROUGH. I swear that I was getting so antsy and I couldn’t put my finger on what was bothering me. But I do think that month in Hawaii is good for everyone, yes?Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

Love. I just love this and the lessons learned. It really can be hard to not feel the need to be constantly doing something. I did so much better this summer, just enjoying simple moments like reading and not fretting over un-washed, un-folded laundry. It felt so refreshing!Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..Slowing Down to See the Details of Life

It is refreshing, isn’t it? And I know that you did the slow down challenge too which sounds like something that would really help to halt the need to constantly be doing something.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

Christine, I love the honesty that you always include in your posts!!! I try to do periodic checks with myself to see if I’m really enjoying the time I spend with blogging (yes) or if I feel like it’s just a chore and something to be checked off. I think that when it becomes a chore it will be time to back off (at least for awhile). I hope that you are able to keep some of the peace (and maybe even extra sleep time) that you found on vacation now that you are home!!Kim recently posted..Spreading Sunshine

I love this post. When I went on vacation back in July, disconnecting made me more present and attentive to ALL things. I FELT more because I had more time to FEEL every moment through.Kierston @candyfit recently posted..Savour Your Energy…

What a great post! I can identify with a lot of the things you say! I took a short break at the beginning of August from blogging and commenting on other people’s blogs. I felt like my load was 10 times lighter. Of course I was not working either so that may have something to do with it. I really love blogging and reading other blogs but sometimes it can be overwhelming and you just need to disconnect, like you said. I’m glad you had this time for yourself.FitBritt@MyOwnBalance recently posted..Top Eight Items You Need to Commute on the NYC Subway

Great post! I am the same way and feel like I overcommit a lot of the time so I get stressed out… but when I don’t, I get bored and sleepy. I do miss the “old fashioned” ways that we used to talk with people, I feel like our conversations are so muddled with insignificant things thanks to social media that we often forget about the most important aspects…Lora @ Crazy Running Girl recently posted..The candy corn goal

Not a downer! Just made me think. About growth and that balance between the two extremes you described – busy, connected, busy vs. free-for-all. I would have been anxious without my long list of work to do. It’s a bit of my buffer. I used to love the idea of a camera full of photos, because that meant that when everyone was resting, and my mind WASN’T resting, I’d have something to immerse my mind with.
And you know what happened? Now I took on clients and I’m so backed up that I have thousands of photos I still need to get to. So different from my times of being happy with just 20. Ack! Anyway, I get a lot of what you said even if I took my own tangent to tell you that.Tamara recently posted..Test Shots.

You know that we’re in each other’s heads lately. I didn’t post at all on my blog for several months because I just felt overwhelmed. I almost felt guilty because of the lack of activity, but in the end, I think I needed it. It’s good to have you back, but I understand the need for a break, too.Michelle recently posted..Use What You’ve Got

I’m glad that you were able to take the break too. I did feel guilty but then I realized that it was still to feel guilty. And I’m happy that you’re back too. Been loving your posts lately.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

YES. THIS. I have the same anxiety not being “productive”. It has been something I have struggled with staying at home with Jake. It comes and goes, but it can be awful. And the blogging detachment – I come and go with that. After every big blog thing (conference, online tutorial, etc.), I tend to just not write at all. For a month. It’s just too much sometimes. It’s energy and time away from other things…and for what? Great post. Gave me some things to think about…Amy @ Mommy Rodeo recently posted..New outlook on running

Great post. I don’t know where to start — so much to think about. I only went away for three days, and I only left my laptop off — not my iPhone — but that little bit of unplugging was refreshing.Coco recently posted..A Day In The Life

When I was on vacation, I thought I was going to write because my time was more carefree…but like you, it was not the case. I also felt sluggish and less creative. On the flip side, I think we need that disconnect. It seems like there should be a happy medium but I work better on a hectic schedule.Michelle recently posted..How To Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice

Loved the post… I didnt read it as a downer, but more of a look at what goes through your brain. It was actually like reading down what goes through my mind during a long run. How your brain just does this check list of all the things you do (or dont), what you want to accomplish, looking back at what you forgot to do.

I’m a schedule person, I can’t just relax and be what-ever about stuff… even on vacation. I don’t need every hour broken down, just a general template for the day. Breakfast, beach, lunch, nap, shopping, dinner. That way I know how the day will be. Glad you were able to step away… or swim away, I guess.Pavement Runner recently posted..Running next to @RunEMZ

You just articulated so many things that have been going through my mind. The two weeks I took off after we moved were so good for me – and I don’t see myself going back to blogging or social media with the same momentum that I had before the move for a long long time. I think the disconnect is necessary for all of us from time to time and I feel especially for me right now. I love my blog and I love your blog and the blog of everyone in my blogging community, but nothing beats real life. Nothing.

And I know that I can always count on you for a cup of coffee when I’m back in town.ilene recently posted..Tangled

I’m glad that you’ve had the time off too and yes, disconnecting is important. I still haven’t quite figured out what level of effort and momentum I want to take this up again. I don’t know. I’m not ready to give it up and but I don’t want to give my life over to it either.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

LOVE!!!!!!! Not only the pics but the thoughts in this post. I get it & I think many of us were nodding our heads yes thru it all! I am having so many conflicting thoughts about social media that I am really unsure what I will do. Thank you for this post!!!

Yes. All of this, but I especially relate to needing to feel productive, and the pressure that being involved in social media brings. You have always amazed me with your ability to seemingly “do it all”, and I LOVE that you were stepping back and only commenting when you have something to say. The obligation that comes with all of this can be overwhelming, and just an fyi. I will still love you, comments or no comments. Just stay in my life and we’re good. Ari @ Ari’s Menu recently posted..Cornbread Waffle Tacos {gluten-free}

This makes so much sense, and I can see/hear myself in so much of what you wrote. I definitely love my to-do list and get antsy when I’m not “productive” and need a little pressure to do good work. I also know I really need to slow down, and I’ve cut way back on my blog commenting and use of social media lately… it’s been amazing.Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..A day in the Life

This vacation looks amazing and well-deserved. I’m glad that you were able to enjoy it. I really enjoyed seeing all your photo posts, was definitely wishing to get there someday after seeing how beautiful it is!Megan@Run Like a Grl recently posted..Sunset Yoga at the Ramscale: Six:02 Launch Event Week

Love your honesty. I think vacations are the perfect time to really listen to your heart. To listen to what your heart is telling you to focus on, where to put your priorities. Sometimes we need to unplug, sometimes we need to step it up, sometimes we need to shake it up. We just need to be constantly realigning our compass to where we want to go.Leah recently posted..Schooling Reggie

“We just need to be constantly realigning our compass to where we want to go.” < -- Absolutely Leah. And I think that the unplugging is necessary to really be able to tune into that compass and to be able to judge and navigate.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

I didn’t realize you were gone for a full month. Oh my. Sooooooo many good things in this post Christine. SO glad you got time to evaluate and figure out what you need. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!STUFT Mama recently posted..Getting Nutty With More STUFT NuttZo Balls

I really relate to this, Christine! While I didn’t disconnect completely, I did slow down during a vacation a few weeks ago. It was so different, not being connected all the time. Then with the start of school, I have had to adjust again. So now I am kind of finding my way to a new routine. And while I am not sure what it will look like, I want think about where the disconnected me fits into it, too.Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..New Heights

We went right from Hawaii straight into the craziness of back-to-school and it was a hard adjustment and I think why all the lessons became so much more apparent. We’re definitely still trying to find our way with our new routine. I hope that we’re both able to keep the disconnected “me” as part of our new normal.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

I can completely relate! I feel anxious and the need to fill the space, but oftentimes the greatest moments in my life are when I relax into that space and allow an intimate connection, or if I am alone, to clear my mind.. some of the most creative ideas have come to me when I did not fill the space with busy work. Modern life is so full of distractions and “to do’s” it is so easy to get caught up in it all. I think it’s amazing that you were able and willing to take a full month to disconnect, it sounds like t was a time in your life that you will never forget. xoxoLisa @ RunWiki recently posted..4 Easy Ways to Clear Mind Clutter

So good to do this. I definitely find that I need a good break at least once a year if not more. When I am simply too busy I don’t comment as often on other’s blogs but then I feel guilty or nervous that people will start to ignore my blog. So silly! It feels good to not read/comment out of obligation but when the time truly allows. Same with responding to comments.
I think times like the Holidays, summer break or whenever you need it, it is important to take a break and focus on other things. It does feel amazing to free up time.Melanie @ Nutritious Eats recently posted..Chicken Sausage, Pepper & Onion Pasta {Gluten Free}

I so know what you mean about the guilt about reading and commenting on blogs and then feeling nervous that people will ignore your blog! I totally get that and have been feeling it lately. It is silly and I’ve been trying to remind myself of why I blog and why it’s important to me and trying hard not to get caught up in the other stuff.Christine Yu recently posted..Looking forward

Having just come back from a vacation where it was 24/7 with my family, I understand where you’re coming from. I LOVED being with them, with no schedules or to-do lists. But at the end of each day, I was grateful when they went to bed, and I had a couple of hours just to decompress from all the fun, and just sit and watch mindless TV or read a couple of blogs.

We’ve been home for 4 days, and I still find myself feeling slightly sluggish, though am slowly shaking it off, getting back into the groove. And it sounds like you are too!Alison recently posted..Coffee Buddy

I LOVE this. ALL of it. And amen to disconnecting & being just fine with it. I am too….hence why I love doing it & then coming back & seeing I hardly ‘missed’ anything. I love to blog & love the people I connect with, but I think there can often be an imbalance in it b/c it is NEVER ending.

Thanks Annette. I’m glad that it seems like so many people could relate to this post. It IS good and healthy to step back sometimes and yes, I too love coming and realizing that I didn’t really miss anything at all

That sounds heavenly. It’s funny how we are so used to go-go-go that when we have nothing to do it causes anxiety. I do the same thing though!Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Sweet Potato Pizza Crust

Great post!!!! I see alot of me in the person you described! I am constantly doing things on my to do list or thinking of things to add to my to do list! I am always feeling like there are not enough hours in the day!
I am good about taking a vacation though. Every year we take two weeks…and while we don’t completely unplug, we cut WAY back! I also let tons go on vacation that I don’t at home like dishes and laundry ect. The first week of vacation is wonderful and then towards the end of the second week I find myself almost wanting to get back on schedule :)!
I have been working really hard about not being so schedule oriented that I miss out on what life is about! I know when I am older I will never say I wish I mhad more of a schedule, but I will wish I had enjoyed and spent time with my family :)!Jen @ milesandblessings recently posted..Be careful what you wish for!

I love that last line Jen – that when we’re older we will never say we wish we had more of a schedule, but we will wish we had enjoyed and spent time with my family . So true and that’s really helpful way to keep things in perspective.Christine Yu recently posted..Spaces in between

I took a sort of unintentional break this summer and learned a few of the same things. I’m an introvert too and I’m finally learning how to manage that – to make sure I get my own time and to be aware when I’ve got a lot of social time planned. And the blogging ambivalence – I get that too.Tricia recently posted..Art: it’s about the process

It’s hard to plan my alone time while on vacation. I feel guilty about it. I mean, we’re on vacation so we’re supposed to be spending time together, right? But I guess in the end it’s better for everyone involved if I get some time by myself Christine Yu recently posted..Spaces in between

“I get anxious when I feel like I’m unproductive.” -YES! I didn’t find the words for how I felt sometimes this summer as I unplugged and took time away from my usual work routine, but you have identified them for me. As much as I like taking a break from work, I love the feeling I get after working hard on something that’s important to me. I think it’s just a part of my personality to want to work towards something and if I have to take too many breaks from this instinct I feel a disconnect with myself sometimes, like it sounds like you experienced at times too. I’m glad you had this time with your family and I appreciate your honesty about your feelings, as always.Devon recently posted..Let it Fall Where It May

Thank you Devon. You know, I have to admit that when I read your words this summer about your experience unplugging, I felt some comfort because I could identify with your feelings. I very much like working towards something and feeling like I accomplished something and I’m trying to learn to relish the journey and process as much as the end result.Christine Yu recently posted..Spaces in between

Thanks Christine for sharing your thoughts in this blog. After having a similiar behavior for years when I was younger I stopped and analyzed why I was doing this. Then I changed.

Christine, have you asked yourself these questions? Why is all this happening? Why can’t you fully disconnect? Why you need to be busy? Why do you spend time sharing your thoughs online and reading comments from people you don’t know?

Why would you rather “be busy” and have “to do lists” even on vacations, than enjoying talking to your significant other, playing with your kids, chattig with your friends, cooking, or simply reading a book? Do you feel you are “wasting your time”?

Only you know the answers, but here are some that come to my mind in these cases:

– We received an education that links “being busy” to “being successful” or, the opposite, that just enjoying or doing what you really feel like is “a sin” if it’s “not productive”. This has to do a lot with religion, by the way.

– We are job-driven and consider people as “resources”. We even plan how and when to spend our time with our significant others or our families, according to our calendar, destroying all spontaneity.

– We are constantly trying to impress others.

With all my respects and if this attitude towards “being busy” is extended, no wonder why there are so many people lacking love in the world and having so many mental health issues. In the end, it’s all a matter of priorities. Who is most important to you and why? How and with whom do you spend your time? Why and with whom do you do yoga, jog, surf?

Partners and especially kids are not blind to how and with whom their family members spend time with and all the activities they do.

Who are busy people doing a lot of stuff all the time and blogging about their incapacity to relax on holidays and the need to go back to the routine trying to impress, exactly?

Maybe they can impress anonymous people out there, but have you ever asked the people closer to you and who love you more what they think about it?

Especially coming from a yoga teacher, it is a bit paradoxical to teach about relaxation, connection, and love to others, when at the same time you are saying you cannot relax on vacations, you need to be busy constantly, and you seem to be quite busy to spend plenty of time with your closest and more beloved ones?

Please don’t take this comments as personal. I spent my time writing this here because I have seen it is a growing trend that makes absolutely no sense.

“I don’t do well without a to-do list and without being busy (…) My husband and I talked about how I do too much and commit to too much but I think that there’s a part of me that needs that pressure. Or at least I think that I do.”

I really hope I am mistaken, but from these words it is very easy to deduce:

(a) I am not really the owner of my own time and thoughts, and I don’t do well when I have nothing to do (but just stay with myself);

(b) I listen but don’t really care about what my husband thinks (but I possibly care a lot about my blog comments);

(c) I am quite insecure and follow the mainstream trends and what society now expects from a “modern woman”.

Again, this is particularly worrying for someone that teaches yoga.

I would really like that you and your husband read my comments together and that he is free to express what his real thoughts are. Thoughts that, by the way, should not be shared with anonymous people on a blog but only kept to both of you.

Note that I hate mentioning third parties, especially from the family, but I took the permission to do it, as it was you who mentioned him and shared with us his thoughts in the first place.

[…] been a little while since we have some coffee talk and you know that I’ve been craving some old fashioned chatting. And let’s face it. I’m always looking for an excuse to have a cup of coffee – […]

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Occasionally, I link to resources that I personally use and recommend. Some of the links are affiliate links where I could receive a small commission if you purchase something using that link. It will not cost you any extra. The compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made on my blog. It helps to support some of the costs of managing this blog and for me to contribute to my family. Your support is very appreciated. Read my full disclosure policy.

Disclaimer

I am a certified yoga instructor but I am not a registered dietitian and do not have any official training, certifications, or degrees in nutrition or fitness. My blog is simply a documentation of my life. The views I express are mine alone, based on my own experiences, and should not be taken as medical advice. Always talk to your doctor or a trained professional before starting a new diet or fitness plan.