I’m a transsexual woman. While that casts me as a member of a pretty small population just in itself, I’m also a member of an even smaller group: I’m a transgender suicide attempt survivor.

Unfortunately, it’s not quite as small a group as one would hope. A study done in 2010 indicates that 41 percent of transgender people try at least once to take their own lives, 25 times the national average.

I told my own story at The Advocate last week. The reason I chose to do it is because this is an issue we don’t talk about enough before there’s a crisis, when someone has already attempted to take their own life and the damage often has already been done. That’s too little, too late. We need to do more, as a society and as a community, and we need to start doing it right now.

All good questions demanding answers, but questions that can only be effectively addressed before someone has taken their own life, not after.

At my lowest point, when I’d made the decision to end my life in 1997, I couldn’t see a way out. I didn’t know there was help available, and I wasn’t in a place where I truly cared about life at all.

I’m no mental health professional, but I can tell you that since that time I’ve come to believe that the decision to take one’s own life is not a rational one. The problem is that it certainly seems rational to someone who has already come to the conclusion that their life isn’t worth living.

When a person is that place, the only reasonable choice seems to be stopping the pain by ending their life. It’s when a suicidal person at their most vulnerable and when the risk is greatest. It’s also the time when that person is in greatest need of a friend, a helping hand to show them that they still matter, that the taking of one’s life isn’t just about themselves but also about how it affects the lives of those who care about them. It’s the time for friends, family and allies to step up and rally around someone considering suicide, even if that person claims that they don’t want or need their help.

For transgender people, the risk is even greater and so must the response be correspondingly greater as well. The outward signs of suicidal ideation and intent can be hard to detect and so we must be vigilant in picking up on those signs, among them depression, disassociation from friends and family, and loss of interest in the hobbies, personal interests, and entertainment that once gave them joy.

It’s those who are closest to a suicidal person who are best equipped to know when there’s a problem. It’s a difficult topic to broach with someone you care about, but early interventions can and do save lives.

Transgender people, who frequently experience a loss of support from friends and family upon coming out, often must rely on those within our own community to fill that role. There are resources such as the Trevor Project and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which can help, but the first step must be connecting someone contemplating suicide with those who can help.

I found my own way out, but I’m one of the lucky ones. I didn’t really want to die, I just didn’t see a way to live a happy life. It was the act of attempting to end my own life that forced me to see past the depression and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness to the possibility of being able to love myself and regaining the will to live.

We can’t wait until it gets to that point to take action because by then it may be too late. Some first attempts succeed, and we can never afford to take that risk.

We need our transgender, LGBT, and local community activists reaching out on this issue. We also need municipal, county, and state government agencies to direct the resources needed to make this issue a priority. As a society and a culture, we must ensure that anyone considering suicide knows that they have a place to go, someone to talk to, and a community which loves and accepts them for who they are.

Transgender New Yorkers in particular need to understand that the refusal of their own Governor and State Senate to consider them and their lives worthy of equal protection under the law is not a reflection of the value of their own lives, but rather that of the cowardice and bigotry of their state’s elected officials.

Many of the transgender people most at-risk for suicide must be taught, by those of us who know better, that the willingness of craven, self-centered politicians to throw them under the bus for their own political convenience as they rally to appease wealthier and more politically popular minorities is not a reflection of their own value as human beings, but in reality a reflection of the poor character and lack of humanity of those elected to represent them.

In the end it is we, the friends, families, neighbors, and allies of those at risk of transgender suicide, who must take it upon ourselves to take on the responsibility which our politicians are thus far unwilling to accept. Our doors must always be open, our hands extended in friendship and support, our ears ready to listen, and our hearts open to acceptance and understanding.

We must be ready to light the way toward the exit, and when necessary to take them by the hand and lead them there ourselves. Those who have been there must tell our stories and show a suicidal person that they are not alone, and those who are closest to that person must remind them that they are needed and loved.

The politicians have failed us and that failure has undoubtedly cost transgender lives. It’s up to the rest of us to pick up the slack and do whatever we can to ensure that not one more transgender life is lost which could have been saved.

It’s not just our responsibility as a society and a culture, it’s our mandate as fellow humans who care.

We can’t afford to lose even one more life to transgender suicide.

Not a single one.

Rebecca Juro is a nationally-published freelance journalist and radio talk show host who is the Media Correspondent for The Advocate website. Her work has appeared in the Huffington Post, the Washington Blade, Gay City News, and The Advocate magazine, among others. Rebecca lives in central New Jersey and shares her life with a somewhat antisocial cat. Email:rjuroshow@gmail.comTwitter: @beckyjuro

3 Responses

Hi Renate, I was really drawn to your article because I like to share what I’ve learned about psychology, during therapy and reading about dialectics. I was chatting with a psychiatrist on the beech last year who shared their opinion on how mental health problems affect trans people.

I’m not sure that any amount of legislation is actually going to make a difference. Transactivism of the 1990’s, certainly in the UK, brought forward a series of changes which paved the way for the emancipation of trans identified people, however, it is not enough. When we are looking at the single most important step for transgender people – and women especially, it to form understanding, compassionate and supportive communities who are able to self heal the complexities of their own community.

This is activism turned inward, like love turned inward makes a person stronger, I believe that activism turned inward makes a strong community and it is this that will be the biggest and most effective suicide prevention strategy.

I want to die from a young age because of my gender issues and self image. Yet some how I kept going when I knew I could not even one more day. Then all of a sudden those questions I had in my youth where answered one by one. Those questions that where not answered did not seem to carry the same weight they had when I was younger. At last I live
Now I would like to help others live long enough to answer their own messages from the past.

Hannah(David)
We are not two but one soul

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