Monday, 31 March 2008

To paraphrase an article I read when I was still a dugyot agmut-muteg urchin back in Baguio, "Oxbarrio Uni, hard to get into. Even harder to get out of.."

It's so true.

I wonder, am I procrastinating because subconsciously a big part of me does not want to leave this place? I have been here exactly 4.5 years. Far too long. I have missed my self-imposed deadline by three months (and counting).

Give me a month to sort things out. Thanks for your patience Mom and Dad. Decisions, decisions. They will be made.You drown in alcohol in Oxbarrio. Expect crates of wine at every lecture. I have been underground. It's a magical place. I even thumbed through a 17th Century Pigafetta. (To think I'm not a historian shows the emphasis of 'sharing knowledge to all who thirst' here.)I try to avoid this as much as I can. It's not false modesty, I'm Kankanaey. Even my friend Ashley will deny his Oxonian degree until provoked.Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Been there, done that. It's encouraged as long as you pass. But let me confess that I draw the line on synthetics. I would NEVER touch synthetics.Many famous people barely passed. Even Shelley was expelled.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

With titles like "Miso Horny" or "Sex Trek II: The search for sperm", these Filipina actresses have been in some very very interesting movies. I have not seen any of these arthouse films yet, maybe soon. Remember, support the artists! Buy legitimate DVDs! (My only pet peeve is that they market themselves as "Japanese" or "Chinese")

I wonder if there are also Filipino actors. Maybe there are but don't expect Tiny Tim to be in it. Oh my god, I just had a laughing fit...maybe C-Lo, given her alleged halitosis, can appear in a film titled "Did you just give me oral because you left my cock smelling anal" but then again Ashley's friend has already been in "Oral or Anal, It no matter, look the same" or in Tagalog "Pwet or Mukha, Pareho lang" Nyahahahaha.

I just got a new piece of art - a print of a Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Do you think it's the right size? It hangs rather well I must say. I quite enjoy seeing the flowers first thing in the morning - very fresh, very pert, the outer circle tan yellow surrounding the bold brown areola, mesmerising!The Nashman's new art acquisition is the talk of the town.

Saturday, 29 March 2008

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit and our austere birthday 'cakes'.

This is the first time I've 'celebrated' the day of my birth in Oxbarrio. This is also the most low-key birthday ever. Three years ago it was in Amsterdam, two years ago in Paris, last year in the Alps. This year, we can't be bothered to go anywhere. This year we thought about going down to London to watch the BoatRace but it's been raining so much the past three days, we'd rather have a lie-in and settle for watching it on television.

I hope I finish the thesis soon so we can have a proper celebration. For now, the food will be whatever is in the fridge.

My beloved Pelefins has one of the highest concentrations of lawyers. Every year, there is a big fuss about the results of the Bar Exams. I don't know why. I have not seen the same fanatical media coverage about new solicitors/attorneys in Europe or anywhere else.

There are very good lawyers, world-class ones, but sadly because of sheer numbers, there are far too many crap ones too. This year, the Supreme Court of the Philippines has LOWERED THE BAR. Shameful! Maybe tomorrow, they will round off pi to 4. Who knows?

The 22.91-percent passing rate for the 2007 bar would have been much lower, perhaps an all-time low of 5 percent, had the passing rate not been adjusted from the traditional 75 percent to 70 percent. "Due to unusually strict corrections, it was decided to lower the passing grade to 70 percent," Associate Justice Adolf Azcuna said in a press conference. Azcuna, chairman of the 2007 Bar Committee, said the committee had to adjust the passing grade from 75 to 70 percent on three subjects -- Civil Law, Criminal Law, and Social Legislation -- otherwise only five percent of 5,626 examinees will have made it. He added that the committee also decided to lower the disqualification rate on Labor and Civil Law from 50 to 45 percent.- PDI

I would have thought there would have been stringent conditions for CIVIL & CRIMINAL law. And how about Social Legislation? You've got to be good in that too, innit?

In the future, when, God Forbid, you need a lawyer, please ask to have a second look at those diplomas again (including transcript of records at certificate of good moral character) ala Teri Hatcher in Desperate Housewives..

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Gloria Macapal Arroyo and her army of leeches nearly got away with crates of strawberries they picked for a photo-op. Had the farmer not gone to the media, he would not have been paid. No worries, we would have started a blog on his behalf to collect payment.

What can you say? Carla looks like my lawyer Sarah M. They both have the same cheekbones. This is why I love them both. Walang pakialam ang madlang pipol sa state visit, it's Carla this and Carla that. Kahapon sa BBC puro Carla, Carla, Carla. I'm not complaining. We want more of Carla!

This is going for auction at Christie's. Taken by Comte during Carla's early modeling days. It's estimated at $2,000. Oh ha? Which first lady has this in their photo album? Meron bang ganyan si Ming Ramos? si Datin Badawi? si Evil Mike Arroyo kaya?

HRO Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit welcome Kjartan Vilhjálmsdóttir who's going to live with us till June. Kjartan is from Babeland, (also known as Iceland). It's just the five of us at the mansion at the moment. Annie is sunbathing nude in some Greek Isle, Machi's flying off to Tokyo in a couple of hours, James is going to Vanuatu to teach English and shag idealistic Peace Corps volunteers from Idaho (lucky bastard), and I'm, er, finishing the Thesis....

What useless facts have we learned today? Celine Lopez has halitosis daw. Tim Yap has sucks cock in Boracay daw . Loren Legarda and Ed Angara are no longer a couple daw (were they). Imelda Relucio beats up her maids daw and she also wants to be Ambassador to Italy even if she's not a qualified Career Diplomat. The C-Lo's people apparently asked Google/Blogger to shut down this Aussie guy's blog http://delfindjmontano.blogspot.comdaw and A-list pinoy bloggers such as yugatech and jester are raising the spectre of litigation by suggesting this act of linking alone may be libelous. Eeh? Are pinoy libel laws that stuuufid? Maybe it's time to benchmark it with other countries instead of being so scared for no reason. So what is it Pinoy A-List Bloggers? "We are the new media." "We cover what the mainstream media don't" "Tina Tinio and Malu Fernandez are ugly fatsos" And everyone talks in GG code. Who da ebak are these socialites anyway? I is sure they are loving the attention. Kaya nga self-confessed socialites sila eh. Don't mention names daw. Pwe, Pinoy Blogosphere, you are just as wimpy as my fart. And DJ Montano, pay up already. You stole money from an HIV-positive man! Naglipana mga jobless lawyers who are suddenly experts in cyber-law ek-ek. Puleezzzzz. Oddly enough, link-to-everything digitalfilipino is silent.

Erase the hate! Spread the love! Remember, Cocaine is a Class A drug! It's illegal to snort it anywhere!

PS. I have been informed that my friend jester is NOT an A-list blogger. His google adsense cheque isn't enough to buy a Gucci keychain. I apologise. There is no love lost.

PS2. (1) This post is more about our stupid libel laws (2) Cocaine - an evil drug with blood along its entire supply chain. Why should these people go scot-free? Jail their ass! (3) Politicians who have no experience and beat up their maids wanting to be Ambassadors. Go away Imelda Relucio! Become ambassador at the Embassy Club if you must. Leave Rome alone! Capisco? (4) I support free speech. Don't blame me for what I have not done. I have not snorted coke.

Monday, 24 March 2008

PA/PR Gromit and HRO Karl Willem are less than impressed with tonight's grub. I told them it's entirely vegetarian. It's got two food groups in it, carbo and tomato ketchup. Mmmmm. We really must go to the grocery tomorrow to do some shopping. I is getting fat. Celine Lopez/Nora Aunor penge naman ng sha..este slimming powder....

Sunday, 23 March 2008

His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem and PA/PR Gromit wonder what is that thing covered with a torn page from the Philippine Daily Inquirer...The dawgs sniff around....Eeeeek! The dawgs are shocked! It's taba ng talangka (crab fats) from the fantabulous Trannies of Baguio City Market!!!!! (Tava ng talangka, tava ng talangka kayo diyan! Sigaw ng mga Sireyna) Take note - The bottle flew on Business Class unlike Malu Fernandez!Glorious cholesterol trapped in a bottle!Just spoon over steaming rice! Sure, it looks like buris (watery poo) and it will probably come out my anus looking pretty much the same when it entered my mouth, and it will probably reduce my life expectancy by 5 years, but goddammit, it's pure oral pleasure! Put taba ng talangka up my list of things better than sex. My imaginary girl friend can go pleasure herself with a twig, I'm bushed for the night.

Us: "Iesu, you can come down from the cross now, it's Easter. We have to get you ready for the grand finale dance number with the Apostles before your CGI-enhanced ascension up to heaven."Jesus: "I can't. If you un-nail me, this balcony will come crashing down."

Saturday, 22 March 2008

HRO Karl Willem does his "Life of Brian" sketch: The Romans. What have they ever done for us?

You want us to go where? I asked His Royal Orangeness Karl Willem (or Carlos Guillermo as he is known in Spain).

HRO Karl Willem wanted to visit the only 12-sided Templar Church left standing - the Iglesia Vera Cruz.

And why must this small shrine be so important, apart from the fact that it was built by the Templar Knights?

It's because it once contained an alleged fragment of the cross where Jesus was crucified. The Templars kept vigil over it until something happened...I forgot...was it the subprime crisis that brought their banking business down?

So off we went.... (we also advised the Police that we were going there so that it could be cleared of the religious nutters, Dan Brown fans, and conspiracy theorists. Puleez, ayaw naming makisalamuha sa kanila.)

That's Iglesia de la Vera Cruz built in the early 13th century and the village in the background is Zamarramala (where the relic has been moved). HRO Karl Willem and I were on top of the Alcazar de Segovia.A 12 sided church...modeled after the one in Jerusalem.HRO Karl Willem takes a brief respite from the heat. Spain in the middle is ridiculously hot desert. You wonder what the hell those Templars were thinking when they thought this was a good place to build a shrine.HRO Karl Willem and the Templar altar, where the Knights put the fragment of Jesus' cross.Imagine having to sit here all day keeping vigil.HRO Karl Willem in the upper chamber.HRO Karl Willem takes a rare picture of The Nashman.