Archives for May 2008

I remember reading a suggestion about “asking” a troubled body part what it’s trying to tell you. What exactly does that mean? And how does the answer get conveyed? Would it be a thought or words popping into your head? If so, would it be immediately or would it require additional tapping?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is most effective when we can be very specific about the issue that we are working on, but sometimes this is very difficult. There might be so many emotions going at once that we can’t break them into workable parts. Other times there is just a general feeling for which we can’t identify a source. When this happens I like to turn to my body.

One of the reasons I love the feedback that the body gives us is because it’s hard to deny physical sensations, whereas I can choose to deny my emotions. I am capable of convincing myself I’m not mad, angry, or sad. When I do this I am really just pushing an emotion down and choosing not to heal. I can’t explain away knots in my stomach in the same way I can explain away anger. This makes my body a gateway into healing that may be unavailable through other means.

To do this we are going to tune in to the information the body can give us. The following process can be used for both physical and emotional issues. I am going to explain the process in terms of an emotional issue, but it works the same way for a physical issue.

REMEMBER: It is very important to be easy about this. There is no right or wrong answer, and there is no right or wrong way to do this. Trust the process and trust yourself. The body wants to give us information to heal, but if we worry about getting “the right answer” we’ll be too worried to hear what the body is conveying. If you feel any anxiousness to doing this (or doing this well), just tap.

(I know my body has information for me…I’m worried I will do this wrong…I’m worried I will miss important information…I know there are no wrong answers…Even if I don’t make any progress by doing this it’s only taking a few minutes…The more I do this, the better I am going to get at it…Since I don’t know what I’m doing, I choose not to have specific expectations…I give myself permission to be easy about this.)

These are the steps I would recommend.

1) Take a deep breath.
Close your eyes and center yourself. It’s always easiest to understand what’s going on inside of you when you take a moment to relax and pull back from the outside world.

2) Tune into the part of the body you want to get information from.
If there is a very noticeable physical sensation when you think about the issue you’re working on, tune into this place. (For example, a tight chest, shortness of breath, knots in your stomach, tightness in your shoulders, or pain in your hip.)

You might not have a very strong physical sensation clearly associated with an issue. You might be uneasy about something that is about to happen, but you don’t know what that is or where in your body you feel it. The feeling of uneasiness in the body is as abstract as the uneasy feeling.

If you have no idea what part of the body is associated with the feeling simply ask your body where the feeling lives. This might sound a little odd, but it’s as easy as that. Think of the feeling you are working with and just ask your body, “Where does this feeling of uneasiness live?” Trust your body and trust the process. Something will come to mind. At this moment the information might make no sense. You might get the sense the uneasiness lives in your right ankle. Just go with that. Once you know which part of the body you’re working on, just notice this part of the body. Imagine what it looks like on the inside.

Again, be easy about this. There is no “right” answer. As you tune into this part of the body you might see the literal inside of the body, or you might see a metaphoric picture (such as a large stone heavy on your chest).

Also, remember not everyone “sees” things when they focus on something. So don’t be worried if you only see black, but feel that part of the body.

3) Just ask that part of the body what it wants to tell you.
Once you have tuned into the part of the body associated with the emotion ask that part what it needs. Again, this is as simple as paying attention to the image and area of the body and asking the question. In addition to asking what the body is trying to tell you, you can also ask what the body needs.

Pay attention to what pops into your head. It might be completely off the wall. When I ask clients for information and they start by saying, “I am sure this has nothing to do with this, but…” it is the best possible news. If something comes to mind that seems completely unrelated then we can be very certain that it has something to do with what is going on.

4) You might get a clear answer or you might not.
Again, be easy. The information can come in lots of forms. You might get a thought or phrase. You might see a picture. You remember something from your past. You might just get a metaphoric image (like a giant rock).

4a) If the information is usable, then do EFT.
Many times when you do this process you will get very specific information.

A memory that can use EFT: As you tune into this body part a memory from your past might come to mind. If any negative emotions are associated with this memory (or memories), do EFT on them. Many times the memories that come up are unexpected and even parts of our past we have completely forgotten about.

Information about the body part: I have done this process and have heard very clearly that a specific part of my body has a particular feeling. I’ve heard that body parts are tired, under appreciated, need healing energy, or need forgiveness. Do my various body parts have specific emotions? I don’t know, but I do know that my subconscious mind is giving me very specific information about the parts of my body that need to be healed. Can my knees feel tired? Don’t worry about it. Tuning into the feeling of tiredness associated with my knees and tapping has brought healing to me.

4b) If you get information you don’t understand, just tap.
Sometime when we do this process we get information that makes no sense at all. For example we could be working on the feeling of being uneasy — and we don’t know why we are uneasy. As we go through this process we get the sense this feeling is somehow associated with our lower back. When we tune into the lower back we see tight bands pulling tightly. This is a great image, but we have no idea what it’s related to.

When this happens we tap about not knowing what the body is telling us.

“My body is giving me information, but I don’t understand what it is…I know my body is trying to communicate with me, but I am missing it. …I thank my body for giving me this information, but I need some help…”

This will often bring up information. If it doesn’t bring up any information, ask for the information. Ask your body, “What are you trying to tell me? I need some help!”

5) Repeat.
Just like the instruction on shampoo (”wash, rinse, repeat”) it is best to “Tune in. Tap. Repeat.” Keep tuning in until you feel sure you’ve done enough cleaning. I know this process may seem very odd. It’s difficult to put into words what it feels like to ask a body part for information and get it. The best thing to do is just dive in and give it a try; it only costs you a few minutes. Doing this sort of tuning in takes practice. You will never get information the same way twice. Trust your instinct. The more you do this, the more you are going to trust yourself and the more/better information you are going to get.

I read all these stories about how people get amazing results with EFT right away. It’s just not happening for me. What am I doing wrong?

photo by dave_mcmt

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is easy to use, it can be used on many types of issues, and it can be done anytime anywhere. But even with that being said, the main reason people first become interested in learning EFT is because they hear stories of how EFT changes lives. We all want to heal and improve our lives and are intrigued when we hear others are solving similar problems to the ones we have. The stories most often told are the “one-minute miracles”. We have all heard the stories of people who have fought with some physical or emotional issue for years only to have it go away in moments. These are more than just urban legends. I have seen it in my own practice.

These occurrences are frequent, but they are not the norm. (I believe someday one-minute miracles will be the norm as we continue to learn how the body/mind/spirit system works.) Just because you don’t experience a one-minute miracle doesn’t mean EFT isn’t working, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing EFT wrong.

Personally I think every round of EFT is successful regardless of the amount of progress that is made (even if no progress is made at all). I believe this because with every round of EFT we do we receive some feedback we can learn from. As an added bonus, a round of tapping is so short we receive feedback very quickly, helping us to adjust our approach for our next round of tapping and allowing us to move to healing quickly. If we heed the feedback we receive with each round of tapping we can quickly resolve the current issue. In my experience there are four typical outcomes to a round of tapping that give us information. .

1) The pain/emotion reduce in intensity.
Obviously, this is the best case scenario, the ultimate goal we are trying to reach with tapping. If the intensity decreases we are on the right track and should keep moving in this direction.

2) The pain/emotion increases in intensity.
On the surface this would seem to be a bad outcome. “We are trying to get away from an issue and now there’s more of it? That can’t be a good thing?” But it really is. Increased intensity simply means that we have tuned into the issue more than before. For example, let’s suppose my right knee is injured. All day as I move around there is an ever-present dull ache. The moment I sit down to take a break the pain seems to swell and become very sharp. My knee didn’t start hurting more the moment I sat down. Instead, since my mind wasn’t fully focused on my daily tasks, my thoughts drifted to my knee and I became aware of how much pain I was really in. It is simply an issue of how much I’m focusing on the pain. When I tap on an issue and the intensity goes up, it means I’m on the right track.

3) The pain/emotion changes in location, texture, or type.
This type of feedback is very common. A pain that started in our shoulders is now in our hip. A feeling of anger becomes frustration. A sharp pain that felt like a stabbing pain now is a very warm dull ache. This might not appear to be progress, at first glance. If I start with a pain in my neck that has an intensity of 6 and after a round of tapping it’s a pain in my hip that has an intensity of 6, I still hurt. Any time we have a change in some characteristic of what we’re working on, it really is progress because the change signifies that we are moving down the right path. Change always means progress, with EFT.

Side note: When this happen it is important that we change what we’re tapping on. If the pain moves from the neck to the hip, the next round of tapping must address the pain in the hip. If the emotion changes from anger to frustration, the next round of tapping is must be directed at the frustration. The tapping we do should reflect the issue as it is in the moment we start the next round of tapping.

4) There is no change in intensity.
At first blush this doesn’t seem like desirable feedback, but in reality it is good news. If we do a round of tapping and make no progress at all then we have learned the current set up isn’t right, and we need to change something. At this point we start to look to the reasons that EFT most commonly doesn’t work. Did we clear psychological reversal (PR)? Are we hydrated enough? Are we being specific enough? In this case what seems to be failure is good news because it tells us we need to try something different.

It is all good news!
No matter what the outcome from a round of tapping, it is good news. With every round of tapping we are either healing or gaining information about what to do next.

With each round of tapping you do, remember to be easy with yourself. One round of tapping costs you less than one minute of your day, it’s easy to do, and no matter what the outcome is, you are one step closer to healing. If you don’t have a one-minute miracle, take the information you’ve learned from this round of tapping and go on.

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Gene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based EFT practitioner who in addition to work with clients and groups regularly writes and records about how to use the tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.Gene's Full Bio & Services