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June 27, 2005

This weekend I had the very nice opportunity to hang with Monsieur Hype and his man, which was so delovely. Mr. Pink and I took them to the WWII Club in Noho, which now requires membership (I was alarmed at first, but it's all an elaborate ruse to get around the Massachusetts smoking laws, rad!) and I feel a bit embarassed by my several digressions into discussing the hotness of Clive Owen. But you know, beer and I don't know each other so well anymore, uhmmm.

I spent the rest of my weekend melting on the sofa, watching old movies (highlights include After the Thin Man and The Way We Were) and cursing the godforsaken weather patterns that allow western Massachusetts to have a 120 degree swing between the yearly highs and lows. (How is that possible? Surely that is just plain unfair.)

Seen/heard of late: good to see I am not the only hater, I guess; who says meaningful reform can't happen? PA may soon sell beer on Sundays, bringing joy to football fans statewide; I can't deny that I am endlessly amused at the aggressive craziness of this whole Tom Cruise thing -- more, please!; speaking of more, seems like we can look forward to a fuckload of insurgency, just in case you're retarded and needed Uncle Rummy to tell you that.

Have more, but time is short. Kisses and vodka shots all around, darlings.

June 22, 2005

Whoa, I went to a funeral and didn't even pop back in yet to share the hyper-depressing details! I am so worst, sorry.

One story I do have from my excursion to the Garden State, related to my visit to my friends' house afterwards. I somehow ended up at a meet-n-greet for Senator Corzine wearing beach clothes onto which I had just spilled coffee. I totally was playing the role of crazy bag lady/street person of Ocean City, and I am proud to say that I did it with my usual aplomb. That is to say, I prayed for the sweet release of death and spent the whole conversation with the good Senator trying to subtly arrange my hair to cover the most egregious of my coffee spots. Which probably just drew attention to the fact that my top was all about the cleavage. (I thought we were going to the beach!) Ha, I rule. Shout out to Corzine for not just dismissing me as a beggar!

While I was mourning and embarassing myself in front of politicians, I see that that crazy guy published his anti-Hillary book. Neat! Oh, Clinton-haters, you guys are the best source of amusement, I can't imagine why we have been wasting our time with stand up comedy and sitcoms anymore. (And hee on this -- I think it takes a delicate genius to make good comedy of that which is already so eminently mockable.)

Speaking of easy targets, I am so glad someone has the journalistic courage to tackle the Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise union.

Reasons to send me flowers/diamonds/Manolos: I am fighting a one-woman war against anti-intellectualism in Albany today; I have been waiting for important, life-changing news for about 3 weeks and the wait is not over by a long shot, yet I have not even yelled or stomped my feet over it, demonstrating the patience of a saint; I encountered the most hideous scary earthworm -- at least the size of a baseball bat (deduct 72% from bat measurements as exaggeration, but still!) -- coming out of my house this morning and was glued to the sidewalk, terrified to step over it for fear it would rear up and bite my bare ankles!

June 15, 2005

In between my heavy day of mapquesting my way through New Jersey (retirement home to funeral home to, well, [my friend] Steph's home), I give you today's seen/heard news:

This looks like an absorbing sort of book; Pittsburgh kicks Albuquerque's ass in the artsy sense; love the idea of Senator Franken (boy, bet you didn't expect I'd say such a thing, did you?); college Dem already booted from White House internship (scroll down for the story in the middle column) in an uncharacteritic act of partisanship from the Bush admin, ha ha; notorious asshole, Rick Santorum, thought to be kind of an asshole (putting him in such excellent company as dickhead Tom Coburn and jackass James Inhofe -- man, that list is fascinating!); torture enthusiast, Donald Rumsfeld, thinks the U.S. may have a bit of an image problem, ahem; Laurel linked recently to this Pittsburgh-based knitting weblog and I have been meaning to mention it; poor Queens, I love you even if no one else does!

June 14, 2005

The fun never stops. Mr. Pink and I are headed to a funeral later this week, which should kick off our weekend trip to the Garden State nicely, only, you know, not so nicely at all. The deceased was 1/2 of the duo who took me on my first trip to Manhattan for my 13th birthday (we let my parents come too, of course), so you know, it's sad.

Changing the subject, here is a short list of things that are irking me: Apple's tech support; how on teevee political talk shows there's always one or two frothing-at-the-mouth conservative idealogues facing off against...several neutral journalists (how is that fair?); the unholy heat and humidity I am swimming through; the fact that the carwash across from my officeplex is never fucking open; my inability to find summer funeral attire that is neither slutty nor pastel.

Not annoying me at all: being as one with the Post Gazette's editorial today.

June 10, 2005

Hmm, I think I may have PMS. In the past two days I have found myself crying over hearing "Hey Ya!" on the radio and seeing a Gene Kelly doc on PBS. Basically, I either have PMS or I am becoming rapidly unhinged due to sleep deprivation and overwork and overheat! (By the way, may I ask, what the fuck with this weather? One of the only good things about living in Western Massachusetts is that we only have 90-degree heat days for maybe one week in August. I am wilting, people, WILTING! And don't even get me started about how this humidity makes it impossible to straighten my hair!)

Seen/heard: moderately interesting interview with the founder of eHarmony (they of the irritating commercials!); I confess, even if it makes me a bit bourgeois, I enjoy reading the shopping reviews in the NYT; when science doesn't give them the answers they want, the Bush administration's not above some creative editing!

June 07, 2005

Sorry for the quiet, but you know, my work sitch has left me with time to do little more than pray for the sweet release of death, so, you know.

Hey, all you Dems -- if you don't like the way Howard Dean is leading the DNC, why don't you just put on a pretty party dress and get down on your knees, because I think sucking Tom DeLay's dick would be way easier that way. I guess if you hate successful fundraising and energizing candor, I understand why you might have issues with his leadership. Are we Democrats to look to these DLC-types who managed to lose the 2004 election with a smart, rich, experienced war hero against one of the least popular presidents in modern history for advice on how to march to victory? Goddamn, shut up and go back to you precious game of mother-may-I with the Republicans, why don't you? (Mother may I have a Bill of Rights?)

And don't think that raging against the machine is an inherently quixotic endeavor, people! Just yesterday I engaged in an utterly pointless battle with UPS customer service and emerged victorious! So if I can spend 45 minutes of my life arguing with someone over $14 and win (even using the catchphrase, "I just want to know, what can Brown do for me?!?"), you can accomplish anything you set your mind to!

I had so much more, but I am tired just thinking about how pissed off the UPS people made me, so I have to go get more coffee.

June 03, 2005

1) "Your Time Is Gonna Come" - Led Zeppelin (I have a mind for revenge lately.)

2) "Gulang" - M.I.A. (I can't claim to have walked this ground first, but, given how much I've been playing it, I will bet that I have walked it best.)

3) "Zombie Limbo Time" - Beat Happening (It came up on the iPod yesterday and OMG, how could I ever have forgotten this song? Zombies are like catnip to me!)

4) "The Ballad of the Sin Eater" - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists (I've been listening to a lot of BBC radio lately and I think it just reminds me of how much this song kicks yet is still about cultural imperialism! Sassy!)

5) "Doll Parts" - Hole (I always want to hear this song around my birthday, likely because of the very obvious reference to eating cake.)

June 02, 2005

Today's my 29th birthday. In honor of making it this far through life -- so far that I am almost the unimaginable age of 30! -- I'd like to salute the following people and things that have gotten me through the last 29 years without ending up in jail or a street whore or in an inpatient psychiatric clinic somewhere in the Alps!

June 01, 2005

Deep Throat out of the closet! (If only Tom Cruise would come out as well...ha, I know, cheap shot, but he's rather asking for it, don't you think?) I was watching "Hardball" last night and they had on Pat "What Holocaust?" Buchannan as "Not Deep Throat," which was hysterical, then G. Gordon Liddy, who completely smeared John Dean, who then was the guest on "Countdown." The only person, of that list I just mentioned, who did not have a clearly visible set of horns and a tail was John Dean, obviously.

I am just now getting around to reading Neal Pollack's essay on his kid getting kicked out of pre-school. Honestly, it's been ages since an article I read made me that angry. I am starting to suspect that some of these thirty- and forty-something hipsters who think kids are an accessory as vital as the Tumi overnight bag and the Delman ballet flats should think about abortion. Because as it turns out, a huge majority of them are shit parents who have procreated as a grab for status and self-aggrandisement, which seems like a hell of a way to fuck a kid up. (If you don't care to read the article, basically, it's a 2-screen whine about how their kid, who has been habitually biting other children in pre-school to the point where blood is flowing, was kicked out of pre-school and now the parents, who are artists working at home, have to spend the summer with their child. Boo, who wants to spend their summer with some stupid kid, right? God, stab me.) It's funny, I had always thought Neal Pollack charming and I think I have at least one of his books, but now I rather loathe him. Am I being too harsh?

Some bad videos I have noticed lately: the new ones from Weezer and Eminem. I know I get my exposure to MTV while putting on my clothes each morning, so I don't see much, but I think we can say with confidence that bad songs breed bad videos! Whereas the new Gwen Stefani, I am powerless before it! I wish I could be more critical of her, but I just am consumed with love every time I see her perfect dye job. It reminds me of my "Like A Prayer"-era Madonna love, deep as the widest ocean!