Does Bigfoot Use Microwaves?

If we skip the old "they're crazy" idea, then perhaps we can look to science for an answer...strange-but-true science. A newly declassified report released by the U.S. Army under the Freedom of Information Act describes technologies which can induce similar effects to those reported by some Bigfoot witnesses (and some UFO witnesses). What is the technology in question?
Microwaves.

Some military experiments have shown that microwaves can be used to make a person hear sounds inside their head. So Backyard Phenomena suggests that, "If Bigfoot and UFOs go together, as I believe they do, then their alien handlers could use microwave technology to confound or control witnesses via seeming telepathy."