O'BRIEN: I've got to ask you a quick question, Bill. What if Jesus got this card? What would he do? Would he be angry about
it? He's be OK with it, wouldn't he?

DONOHUE: Well, maybe he would, but I've never met him.

Well hell ... finally a little honesty when the loudmouths behind the curtain pass a little gas that gets into the crowd
in Oz.

Donohue's casual response to perhaps the most important question regarding the behavior and statements by the major players
of the politically active Christian Right is stunning in its simplicity.

Why would or should American Christians listen to folks in a frenzy pretending to speak for someone they've never met and
who has never expressed value judgments nor portrayed morality in the frenzied style we get to see every day?

They've never met the man! Yet they continue serving up highly odorous political religious crap that insults and embarrasses
most believing Christians in this country.

They've never met Jesus.

Bill Donohue, James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Tim LaHaye, Ralph Reed, Randall Terry, Roy Moore, Josh McDowell,
Fred Phelps, Jimmy Swaggart, Bob Jones, or any other of their colleagues are not the modern apostles of the original Jesus.

and George W. Bush is not Jesus's Chief among them.

... and Ann Coulter is definitely not the new Mary Magdalene.

To the winners belongs the historical record.

The Stephen account - if read comparatively with the gospel accounts of the trial and death of Jesus - reveals itself as
way too similar to the latter. It also establishes implied retroactive legitimacy to the "future" gospel of Paul by stating
that when Paul was still a Christian persecutor, early Christian believers already understood Christ and his divinity in a
context that justified the evolution of Catholic Christianity, the continuing theology that survived the Protestant Reformation
and the very evangelical theology we face today.

Stephen's story is an act of fiction put in place strategically to offset the idea of Paul's interesting Gnostic leanings
mingled with his Helenistic education. His story also serves as part of the anti-Gnostic foundation which remains in place
today as an offset to the Gnostic rejection of the victorious Catholic theology upon which the Inquisition was justified.

One of the ultimate bullhockey moments would be a modern-day appearance of Jesus in short hair, no beard and a three-piece
suite.

Otherwise, how could he get on the 700 Club?

How could Dobson stand to see him pal around with 12 other guys with whom he has intimate affection. It would only be more
scandalous if Jesus and the 12 were in 3-piece suites.

And O'Reilly would tear his Sermons and Parables apart whether he was robed, bearded and long-haired or looked like Scott
McLellan ... cause those sermons and parables ain't got no hate in them.

And woe be unto Jesus if Magdalene was there wearing a wedding band.

And if Jesus doesn't produce some time soon, he's gonna leave Lahaye, Robertson, Falwell and the rest of the literalists
in a very embarrasing situation.

Those who bought the Left Behind books and then bought the reality described therein and proceeded to trash their communities
with violence, hate and bigotry are gonna have all fingers pointing ... and Ole Karl'l just be smilin and still hummin "Onward
Christian Soldiers."

And if Jesus doesn't produce some time soon, he's gonna leave Lahaye, Robertson, Falwell and the rest of the literalists
in a very embarrasing situation.