a balance of aesthetic prose where we curate content, design, and perspective.

December 01, 2010

WTF?? Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

Seriously. I tell no lies.

From Dead Serious News:

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specific [sic] case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

And on the bright side, unconfirmed reports share that circumcised men will receive a voucher for a 20% discount on their luggage fees. [hehe]

My question is (notwithstanding a chance encounter with Nia Long)... what could be so potent, so alluring... so tempting to make me want to *stain my trousers?? And how do you label this story? Is it disgusting, funny, or just plain ri-cock-ulous??

Well, I guess this is a good time to announce that I will be featuring a "WTF" article every once in a blue moon - just like this one. A few other small changes are taking place here at AnythingUrban Headquarters. In summary:

- No more screwed up banners. I appreciate you all that have stuck with me during my artistic mental collapses. Now that I have a resource to help me - (that won't be helping himself to most of my hard earned benjamins) - no more whack banners. I solemnly promise.

Thanks to Isiah Carey for hitting me with this odd one. After reading this one in utter shock, I have a few questions...

Why the hell...? Who knows. Evidence? Yes, a nasty cheeseball was found in the vicinity - laced with strychnine. More evidence? Yes, the victims' owner installed camera's around the house after experiencing this in the recent past. Bright side? Yep, the doggies survived and are all ok.

But Swag? Uh, nah son.

Reminds me of a joke about a blind man walking with his dog. Dog started peeing on his leg, a passer by said "hey your dog is peeing on your leg". Blind man pulls put a dog treat... Other man says, "why are you giving him a treat for that?"

Blind man: "I'm not, I'm trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass!"

.

... someone trying to poison a dog needs a kick in their disrespective ass. Word.

Comments

WTF?? Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

Seriously. I tell no lies.

From Dead Serious News:

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specific [sic] case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

And on the bright side, unconfirmed reports share that circumcised men will receive a voucher for a 20% discount on their luggage fees. [hehe]

My question is (notwithstanding a chance encounter with Nia Long)... what could be so potent, so alluring... so tempting to make me want to *stain my trousers?? And how do you label this story? Is it disgusting, funny, or just plain ri-cock-ulous??