Sarah Palin: Happy Marmot Day!

JUNEAU, Alaska– Governess un-elect Sarah Palin signed a bill last year (she stamped it) to make every February 2nd Marmot Day in Alaska.

Because there are no groundhogs in Alaska, Senator Linda Menard (R – Wasilla) said it “made sense” for the “ground squirrel” to become Alaska’s doppelganger to Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil.

Hope

Senator Menard did not write weather forecast duties for the marmot into the bill, so the day has become Alaska’s watered down ripoff of what was already a fake, pathetic holiday to celebrate the fact that Alaska has no groundhogs. She hopes that the state will create educational activities around the animal.

Editor’s note: with the exception of our writers’ liberal use of the traditionally-forbidden editorial (good job), this story is one hundred percent true. Bill Murray was not immediately available for comment.