]]>http://www.cornwallcommunitynews.co.uk/2012/04/29/stand-up-for-king-and-pasty/feed/5POWER TO THE PASTIES!http://www.cornwallcommunitynews.co.uk/2012/03/29/power-to-the-pasties/
http://www.cornwallcommunitynews.co.uk/2012/03/29/power-to-the-pasties/#commentsThu, 29 Mar 2012 08:07:24 +0000http://www.cornwallcommunitynews.co.uk/?p=12649In the space of just a few days CORNISH PASTY POWER has reduced the country’s most senior politicians to a rabble of posing, posturing clowns.

Upper crust Tories from the Prime Minister downwards have been falling over each other to convince the public they enjoy the pies they’re mercilessly taxing – and failing hilariously.

Prime Minister Cameron boxed himself into a unsavoury scandal dubbed Pastygate , after lying through his teeth about when he last bought one of our national snacks.

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne was made to look an even bigger tit than usual after a Labour MP mocked his posh, pasty-deprived background.

Evil twin from hell Ed Miliband made almost as big a fool of himself by rictus grinning like a dead idiot as he toured a bakery and tucked into a sausage roll.

And across the UK ordinary people sick of being taxed for no reason joined Cornish Cllr Alex Folkes’ Facebook revolt to protest the complex and gratuituous tax on “Goldilocks’ food that’s neither too hot nor too cold – but of ‘ambient’ temperature.

Mr Cameron was knocked flat by Pasty Power yesterday (Wednesday).

The 45 year old Etonian told a packed press conference: “I’m a pasty eater myself I go to Cornwall on holiday. I love a hot pasty.

“I think the last one I bought was from the West Cornwall Pasty Company who, I seem to remember, I was in Leeds station at the time.

“The choice was whether to have one of their small ones or their large ones and I’ve a feeling I opted for one of their large ones – and very good it was too.”

The West Cornwall Pasty Company at Leeds station has been closed for the last five years.

The news came to light after reporters at the world’s second biggest online paper the Daily Mail asked Network Rail about Cameron’s pasty boast.

The day before Parliamentary proceedings got underway with notoriously posh George Osborne taken to task over when he last bought a take-away pie.

Labour MP John Mann asked the Chancellor: “When’s the last time you bought a pasty in Greggs?”

The toffee-nosed Tory replied: “I can’t remember the last time I bought a pasty in Greggs to be honest with you”

To which Mann hit back: “Well – that kind of sums it up.”

Finally Labour loser Ed Miliband got on the pasty-wagon and posed for reporters at a bakery, opposing the VAT hike.

The out of touch MPs are clamouring to cover their arses as it emerged the pasty tax is a bureaucratic farce in the making.

Cornish critics have pointed out from day one that taxing food judged to be at ‘ambient temperature’ is going to mean a field day for busybody bureaucrats.

South East Cornwall Conservative MP Sherryl Murray stormed: “Surely the last thing we need is to employ an army of thermometer wielding tax inspectors poking our pasties to see if they have cooled enough?

“If a pasty is sitting in a window and the sun is shining then is this pasty VATable?

“If a pasty is sold cold but an oven is made available to customers, is this then VATable?

“Would it be VATable if a charge was made for the use of the oven?”

Cornwall’s six MPs, three Tory and three Lib Dem, have all joined forces to lobby for the Pasty Tax to be scrapped.

North Cornwall MP Dan Rogerson is going to see if the Cornish Pasty’s EU protected status might mean it’s disqualified from the ‘ambient tax’.

Local Lib Dem Deputy Leader Alex Folkes is still pushing his ‘Say No To The Pasty Tax’ people power campaign .

And last but not least on the Lizard Ann Muller, independent pasty maker extraordinaire, told CCN she had found an immediate solution to the new tax.

Ann explained: “I’m going to put a sign in the window reading: ‘Pasties: Hot for the Rich, and Cold for the Poor'”

To add your name to the 2,500 people from across the UK who have joined the ‘Say NO’ Facebook page just click this sentence.

Local health worker Clive Rowley posted: “Here they go again, our glorious leaders, staying in their giled cages and dictating what happens to the staple foodstuffs of the masses.

“Why do we let them? Maybe we deserve all we get for falling for their “embriodered” versions of what will happen when we elect them. I for one don’t remember anyone saying to me “we’re going to take away all your tax incentives and make your pastie much more expensive”

”Vote the b*ggers out.”

Londoner Teraina Hird agreed saying: “I’m assuming this tax was thought up by the “Ministry of Silly Ideas”

And on the other side of the world Australian Geoff Drew, whose family still live in Cornwall, joked: “Seems to me that your country has caught a very bad case of the stupids.

“Think what this will do to the Pie Rates of Penzance!”

Mebbyn Kernow Cllr Dick Cole backed the ‘Say No’ Campaign.

Cllr Cole told CCN: “This is a ludicrous proposal from the coalition who don’t have a clue how important the pasty industry is to our community.

“You already pay VAT on Fish n Chips so it’s no even entirely clear what the Chancellor is talking about.”

Another MK Parish Cllr, Stephen Richardson, explained: “Up until now Pasties have got out of the VAT on fast food – Chinese, McDonalds, Fish and Chips.

“The loophole appears to have existed because it was argued that pasties were baked in store and then sold as they were going cold.

“Of course in Cornwall you bake your pasty and leave it to go cold, but someone will come and buy it before that, because they’re so popular.

“But the serious point is, whether it’s been a loophole up until now – if they close that loophole, it’s going to affect Cornwall more than any part of the UK.”

Pasty producers fought for years to get protected status for the pasty and succeeded last year.

The PGI ruling placed the local staple on a par with Champagne and Stilton and meant no-one making a pasty outside of Cornwall could call their product Cornish.

It’s one of only nineteen UK foods that enjoy protected status.

Do you want to pay another 40p to the Government every time you buy a £2 Pasty? No? Then let ‘em know!?

Thanks to the wonderful world wide web you can exercise your right to make your voice heard in the corridors of pasty power just by clicking on this piece.

Just click HERE to email David Roberts of the HMRC directly and ask him wtf is going on with the proposed tax on ‘ambient’ foods, or tell him why the Government should scrap the whole scheme.

Remember every phonecall and email helps: Cllr Folkes has been on the phone today (Thurs) to Danny Alexander, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, who’s apparently now suggesting the tax might just affect supermarkets – you never know what you can achieve with a bit of people power!

And to add your name to the 2,500 people from across the UK who have joined the ‘Say NO’ Facebook page just click this sentence.

Steve Gilbert made the gaffe in Parliament as he tried to join in the general ribbing of Tory Chancellor George Osborne over his posh background.

Taking to his feet in the Commons the outspoken new MP asked Osborne: “Why is there no VAT on Caviar but there is on Pasties … it’s unfair.”

Unfortunately everyone else, not least the Newquay and St Austell MP’s working class constituents, is keenly aware Caviar is served cold.

The expensive and famous delicacy of pressed Sturgeons eggs is kept in a fridge, chilled for a further 15 minutes before eating, and then served on ice.

Voters have been quick to point out that Stephen’s would-be witticism missed the point that the ‘Pasty Tax’ centres on the warmth of take-away meals.

As Steve’s Tory counterpart and fellow pasty rebel Sherryl Murray has pointed out, the whole point of the ‘Pasty Tax’ is that it’s going to be so difficult to implement, as bureaucrats face arguing over which pasties are hot – and taxable – and which have gone all cold.

And one local joker’s even started a mock viral ad – advertising for sales of ‘Stephen Gilberts Hot Caviar’.

The virtual product, which boasts our local MPs grinning chops as its motif, contains the strap-line ‘Produced and packed in St Austell and Newquay for Export”.

“Because it was such a stupid question I’m now embarrassed to be from Newquay…”

We’ve been phoning Steve for three days on the trot now: he and his PAs are normally good as gold but for some reason we can’t get through: answer the phone guys!! Did Steve not realise Caviar is one of the most famously chilled foods on the planet? Cheers!