Who the hell do I think I am...

Who am I? I am many things. I am all things to all people. I am legion. I am an Indian, but I am lost on this Island of Lost Souls. I voted, or rather, voted Congress, but I dislike all political parties.I am pro-choice, but I am against abortion. I am anti-criminal and anti-death penalty. I think many criminal penalties should be stiffer, especially on . I believe in drug legalization but perhaps this has to do with the fact I like taking recreational drugs. I hate guns, violence and war, but support the idea of military intervention in foreign disputes when gross human rights violations are taking place in the present. I believe the truth is out there. I am a proponent of free speech. I don't believe in sin. I don't believe in a balanced budget amendment to the constitution, but I do believe in balancing the budget. I support environmental causes. I love to watch movies and television. I believe in aliens, but I don't believe they've visited us. I believe that the government should provide minimum standards for the people, but shouldn't tell people how to live their lives. I believe in the safety net. I do not believe the government should protect us from ourselves. I believe in God, but I don’t believe in religion. I love to read and am learning to write.I don't believe in any form of racism, sexism, xenophobia or homophobia. I believe in equal rights for all human beings that live within the law and human rights for all, even those that don't live within the law. I believe in the system but I am in favor of civil disobedience. I think that war is wrong. I don't believe that the world is in any form of "crisis." I believe that everything will be okay. I have a dream. I am living on Channel Z. I have a heart of glass. I'll tumble 4 you. I wish it would rain down. I want to sex you up. I'm sorry about the weather. I've been in love before. I get along fine with the friends of mine. I can't dance. I got a little change in my pocket going jing- aling-aling. I'm down at the end of lonely street. I'll remember you. I've got my own way. I wanna be startin' something. I got a new sensation. I'm a family man. I'm hungry like the wolf. I'm hot blooded. I'm throwing it all away. All I am saying is give peace a chance. I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter. It's still rock `n roll to me. I'm dancing with myself. I'm still standing. I'll be alright without you. I wanna new drug. I fight authority, authority always wins. I come from a land far away. I'm gonna miss you. All I ever wanted was a place in the country. What have I done to deserve this. I won't back down. I'm the king of pain. Baby, I'm a star. I'm too sexy for my shirt. I'm all shook up. I'm learning to fly. I'm back in the saddle again. I get my thing in action. That's when I reach for my revolver. I ain't gonna play Sun City. I hate myself for loving you. I don't wanna work, I wanna bang on the drum all day. I will keep the flame. I wear my sunglasses at night. I'll be there. I'm turning Japanese. I don't like Saturdays. I hear the secrets that you keep. The future's so bright I gotta wear shades. I want candy. I wanna rock. I won't forget you, babe. I am a nightmare walkin', a psychopath talkin'. I'm the wanderer. I'm dazed and confused. I ain't a fortunate son. I'm greased lightnin'. I'm tryin' to throw my arms around the world. I'm goin' back to Kathmandu. I'm countin' flowers on the wall. I'm tempted by the fruit of another. I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill. I can't help falling in love with you. I believe I can fly. I wanna rock `n roll all night and party every day. I've gotta lust for life. I get around. I am the Walrus. I'm a believer. I got a whole lotta love. In dreams, I talk to you. Woo-hah, I got you all in check. I've got potholes in my lawn. I wanna start a revolution. I wanna get high, so high. I'm cool like dat. When it's time to rock a funky joint, I'm on point. I can't do nuttin' for ya man. I'm raising hell. I wanna be a paperback writer. I wish I was a little bit taller. I ain't bullshittin'. I tip my 40 to your memory. She calls me Mr. Boombastic. I'm the man. I'm hard to handle. I shot the sherrif. I still haven't found what I'm lookin' for. I'm not foolin'. I'm free fallin'. I care a lot. I'm once bitten, twice shy. Sometimes I feel like I'm beatin' a dead horse. I'm the cult of personality. I want you, I need you, I love you. I want it all and I want it now. I get lonesome. I'm a cannonball. I went to school in Olympia, where everyone's the same. I've been swimmin' in the dirty water. I've been caught stealing, once, when I was fourteen. I've got a big heart. I'm a stain. I'm still alive. I'm whip-smart. I'm a creep. Fuck you I won't do what you tell me. I'd rather be with an animal. I'm losing my religion. I'm a liar. I'm a clone. I want somebody to shove. I got a pocket full of Kryptonite. I'm goin' hungry. I'm running to stand still. So stay with me and I'll have it made. I prefer metaphysics to theology. I believe in the sweet spot. I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. I am not my bank account. I am not the clothes I wear. I am not the contents of my wallet. I am not my bowel cancer. I am not my grande latte. I am not the car I drive. I am not my fucking kakhis. I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. I am not special. I am not a beautiful or unique snowflake. I am the same decaying organic matter as everything else. I am a human being, I'm not black or white. I'm a ballbuster, bleeding-heart liberal, breeder, butt pirate, camel jockey, Indy, carpet muncher, cheese-eating surrender monkey, colored, communist, nutcracker, east-coast liberal, environmentalist wacko, hippy, freak, loony left, coolie, muckraker, nattering nawab of negativity, sand nigger, nympho, dissdent, agitator, paki, peacenik, slut, tree hugger, wanker, brown devil, aisan trash, whore, and zip. I'm peachy keen. I love women. I tolerate men. I am a member of Generation X and proud of it. I am a child of today. I am the sum of my past and my present. If there is a "culture war for the soul of the world," I hope the bad guys win. I'm pro-gay and pro-family. I'm pro-dissent. I am an individual. I am not a target audience. I am not the next anything, I am the first Sky. I defy your attempts to label me. I am my own test market. I am my own fashion statement. I am my own worst critic. I'm hip. I'm down. I'm cool. I'm with it. I am alive. I am now. I am the future, hear me roar! (I can't claim credit for this idea but it sums up who I am.)

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