Bethenny admits that she she is soured on the idea of a fairy tale love story. "Part of my identity was always looking for a man. I always wanted to meet someone – to complete you, take care of you," Bethenny acknowledges of her history with men and with reality TV.

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"And I've accepted the fact that I might never find that great love and that authentic real relationship the way that it's supposed to feel," Bethenny tearfully divulged. So basically… all those years of bogus therapy were a waste of money. Oh gee… I'm shocked!

"It's ironic," she continues, "by the time you're reading fairy tales to your kids, you're discovering that they might not come true."

Despite two failed marriages and one acrimonious pending divorce, Bethenny fully admits that while she is on hiatus from love, she hasn't lost all hope of finding it. "Men aren't a priority right now – at all," Bethenny declares. "It would take away from important things that I'm not willing to sacrifice." Meaning her talk show – and of course Bryn.

"I don't believe in The One or only one soulmate," Bethenny explains, but "I don't think that was my last shot at happiness."

"Maybe there is The One, but that doesn't mean it's the person you live with your entire life. Your soulmate may or may not be the person you married. It doesn't happen often."

"Fairy tales come in different packages. Having the most beautiful daughter in the world is mine," Bethenny says. "So is having the opportunity to connect with women" via her talk show.

Right now Bethenny describes herself as "emotionally unavailable" and insists she is not dating anyone. "A lot of me is shut down right now. I'm a little fragile." Luckily she has her talk show to pull her through. "The show is a distraction," Bethenny's friend tells the magazine. And so is Bryn. "The look in my daughter's eyes can fill me like 10 loves of a lifetime,"Bethenny gushed.

"I finally realized that you can have it all… but not all at once," she says of love, success, and motherhood. "I had talked about that regarding food, but I didn't realize it also translates to life."

As for her divorce, she is disappointed that things have turned so ugly. "I wanted to be like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore," Bethenny laments of her hopes for an amicable split. Perhaps she shouldn't have filed for SOLE CUSTODY then?!

"I'm stronger than I ever imagined I could be," Bethenny expresses. And part of that strength means a continue living arrangement with her ex-husband. The ex-couple is still residing together in their Tribeca loft, ("for Bryn. So there will be a sense of stability.") but Bethenny admits she often stays at a friend's apartment (friend Warren Lichenstein?) and at hotels.

A friend of Bethenny's attempts to make Jason look bad by commenting that he sees Bryn "regularly". Doesn't he LIVE there?

Speaking of which, Bethenny and Jasonmet in court today to continue to battle for custody of their daughter. "They completely avoided eye contact and communication despite being within three feet of each other,” a witness tells Life & Style.

"He couldn't bring himself to look at her.” Following the hearing Bethenny hurried out and seemed frazzled, while Jason predictably had a calmer demeanor.

And finally, Bethenny's first week viewer numbers are in for her talk show. And well – she probably shouldn't have decimated her image by filing for divorce! She always did say Jasonmade her look bad…

The Monday premiere had so-so numbers and then dropped consistently. Bethenny "was off by a tenth in each category from its so-so premiere," explained Deadline, who describes her show as off to a "soft start" and comments that it had the same initial ratings as Ricki Lake and Jeff Probst's now canceled talk shows! Ouch!

Oh and Bethenny's appearance on WWHL this week – so little buzz no one cares. It didn't even make the cable 100! Welp – I guess it's back to reality TV for her. Bethenny Starting Over, anyone? What about: Skinnygirl Dates: Finding Love WIth Bethenny!

[Photo Credit: PEOPLE]

TELL US – WILL BETHENNY EVER FIND TRUE LOVE? ARE YOU SURPRISED BY HER LOW TALK SHOW RATINGS?