Monday, May 17, 2010

First Glimpse , First Revelation

Every time I see those soldiers rescuing a hostage... Every time a terrorist gets convicted and I see these news reels go on and on about it.. And every time I see men senselessly firing at each other I wonder just one thing these days.. Had these people seen a New-Born's face would they have the heart to raise a gun upon another man? Alas! If only there was an answer to that question, about 99.99% of the world's problems would be solved.

But quite honestly, that's how I felt when I saw Ananya for the first time in the hospital. She appeared to me like a bouquet of red roses tucked in a blue cloth. I never thought these people ( meaning my mom, dad etc ) will allow me to hold her but guess what? I actually was given the privilege :) :) Happiness was coursing through my veins like never before. I doubt whether being in heaven would have made me more ecstasic. There was a hushed debate going on about the colour of the baby sparked by my brother. Are these people blind.. I was wondering. Can't they see, she is as pink as a rose bud? There were hushed discussions about who the baby resembled. I din't go into that, I was just content feeling an overwhelming sense of peace staring at her face. I was hoping to stay for a few more minutes but was driven out saying that the visiting hours were over :(

As I was returning from the hospital a lot of things were running through my mind. For the first time I was looking at life from my mother's perspective. Din't I love this child so much now? Did'nt I put her happiness before mine? Did'nt I have the feeling that she should be protected from even the slightest of miseries? My mother should have felt and is still feeling the same thing about me? Suddenly I felt that its time I started displaying the affection I have all along felt for my poor mother. I remembered those days of my childhood when I was very sick and used to be in the hospital most of the days. I remember my mother peering through the glass window and watching sadly as the nurses put needle after needle into my skin. I can feel the pain now..not of the needles but the pain that would have coursed through my mother's veins as she saw the injections piercing my untanned skin then. Thoughts of the past are searing in me as I get reminded of the day she was sitting beside my sick brother and crying. That was a rare sight for me, to see my mother crying. There lay my brother, sick and unable to prepare for the most important exam in his life and there was my mother shedding silent tears. I let those tears be silent, never let her knew I had seen those tears. But now after holding this little kid in my hands I could realise the full agony of a mother's sadness and the joy of a mother's happiness. All the love which my mother lavished upon me for 20 years, I could feel within a second as I touched the child. Ananya and my mom were the same to me now.. though sometimes I have doubts about who is my mother and who is my child :)