The Sassy Sandpiper: The Ghost of (Middle School) Christmas Past

By M.R. WILSON, TB Reporter

Perhaps this age-group’s magic can bring forth the muse.

Some of my best Christmas memories are from my days as a middle school teacher at Saint Paul’s School in Clearwater.

Now you might think that seems a little far-fetched, given what we all “know” about middle schoolers. They are the worst age group to teach; hormone-crazed monsters who will turn in homework with pizza stains on it, fall deliberately and repeatedly out of their seats to garner the attention of a cute blonde across the room, lie to their parents and school administrators about the cruel and unusual punishments imposed for doing nothing by their sadistic teachers, and fake a death in the family to avoid detention.

There is no rational explanation for why middle schoolers were my favorite students.

Perhaps it is because those years were some of my most creative. I wrote instructional materials from worksheets to semester projects, to skits, short stories, and plays, often with accompanying artwork. The vast majority of my students were enthusiastic participants. I was lucky enough to teach some exceptional young people, a handful of whom are friends to this very day.

As Winter Break approached, moods turned festive. I wrote funny stuff for my kids—alternative lyrics for holiday songs and poems were my specialty. Here’s a Floridian version of a childhood favorite: