I'm sometimes a bit behind when it comes to the cultural scene. I've still never seen Game of Thrones and it took me ages to listen to Beyonce's new album. And I am genuinely about 400 years late to the party when it comes to Romeo and Juliet, which is apparently quite a famous play. It was such a relief that I was able to rectify this philistine-y oversight thanks to dreamboat theatre overlord Sir Kenneth Branagh...

Kenneth Branagh is actually on ketamine in this play. I mean not actually, he's doing acting, but one of the characters has cruelly injected his character's bum with horse tranquiliser and it's safe to say he struggles. His trousers fall down a lot. He does funny voices. And he does lots of cuddling on the bed with Rob Brydon. And it's hilarious.

I could write a whole dissertation on how Deborah Pearson's writing rattles me more than Beckett but I think it would go on forever. (A BIT LIKE A BECKETT PLAY LOL.) All I can do is grasp you by the wrists and stare into your eyes in a way that makes you slightly uncomfortable and tell you that if the opportunity presents itself to see Pearson's work you must go immediately.

Chris Pine ticks all the boxes as the fourth big screen incarnation of Tom Clancy's CIA analyst. Kevin Costner is excellent as his mentor; Keira Knightley gives a good American accent, and director Kenneth Branagh is solid as the villain.

I'm a big fan of Henning Menkel's Wallander novels and the Swedish television series that came out of them, and it's only because I still pine for the latter that I watched Kenneth Branagh's English version last night.