A huge sigh of relief

I can finally breath a huge sigh of relief! The last few weeks have been so damn stressful it’s unreal! I’ve been stressing about my ESA assessment decision almost constantly, we had to make such a tough decision and re home the cat’s knowing whatever the outcome we just can’t afford the extra cost’s any more, we’ve had several problems with the refit the council are doing and 2 kids at home with it all going on this half term (which of course has been miserable!) has just been utter chaos!

Getting a call yesterday morning from a number I didn’t know freaked me out and I almost rejected but I am so glad I didn’t!

It turned out to be the person finalising my ESA decision which initially made me panic even more as I was convinced I would be refused but I spoke to such a lovely lady and after a chat and adding on a little more information about the side affects I’m having from my medication she made the decision to award me ESA for the next year!

Honestly I was gob smacked I’ve heard so many depressing stories and anything that involves the job centre has always gone badly for us so to finally be taken seriously and have all that stress lifted had me almost in tears with relief as I thanked the lady on the phone.

When she explained I had originally only been given 6 points based on my anxiety and I would have been refused as I needed 15 to pass I nearly passed out but after explaining the nasty side affects of my medication to her and how things have worsened in general she had decided to award me full points!

My assessment was based on my chronic pain which without the medication side affects they see me as fit for work. My depression was basically ignored because I told them that although I have attempted suicide a few times in the past, knowing I have a family now I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to attempt it again knowing the emotional and financial impact it would have on them. My anxiety was at least considered severe enough to be awarded some points but looking at the overall picture it’s horrible to think how many people in a similar or even a worse situation would be refused and deemed fit for work!

I know I am extremely lucky to be given this break and I appreciate it so much being able to just focus on my health and my family for the next year and I’m hoping in this year I learn to manage everything better so one of us can go back to work and we can start saving and getting somewhere at last!