The Lonely And The Forgotten

This is mostly for those who believe that everything happens for a reason but all are welcome to contribute. I have been thinking of those who feel
like they have been forgotten by the world and feel agony of extreme loneliness. Why are some people in this situation? For what reason does someone
have to been alone for long periods of time? One could say to learn a lesson but some people die lonely thus not learning anything, at least before
they die. Also it seems that some people who get so lonely, they shy away from making relationships in anyway whether it be an acquittance, friend,
etc. It makes me feel for these people when I stop and think about how people who cry themselves to sleep because they feel no one cares about
them.

Funny you should post this. I was crying about this very topic today. I have no idea why some people are/feel lonely and forgotten. I've been trying
to figure it out too since I seem to be easily forgotten by friends and family. Makes me wonder if I were to die right now, how long it would take
before someone started to suspect something is wrong. My guess is months. No joke. If the smell of a decomposing body doesn't alert the neighbors
first.

no i dont think there is its always been,
i have had my problems in the past with lonelynes
i wont take anti depressives coz they make me worse lol,
but im not exactly lonley now but i know the feeling of it,
and i have the scars to prove it

but no there will always be lonley people,
its just the nature of things, and theres many reasons why.
mental health, autism spectrum (not all but some), personality dissorders,
rejection by society coz size, unattractivenes ect..

It's extremely sad when those who are lonesome, terribly don't want to be. I am a loner, but I like it, mostly, because I have a diagnosis of
clinical avoidence. If I were to strike it rich, I'd have a self sustaining home built, out in the remote parts of like, maybe near Dulce or Dugway
Proving Grounds. And spy the areas at night with all my expen$ive night vision equipment. Maybe make videos and have a YouTube channel, about my
nocturnal findings.

Think about this. One's financial state contributes ---greatly--- to one's lonely state. You need a reliable car, spending cash, nice clothes,
hair, makeup, shoes updates, a phone, a computer, accessories, a stable happy place to live, I could probably go on and on; In order to properly get
to socializing/connecting with the kind of people you want to. When You are around prospective friends, but are quietly desperate with hidden
expectations, and you feel insecure about your looks and clothes, they have inbuilt radar on that, and will turn off to you, then youl be even
more.........lonesome!

it's as though the act of others showing care or kindness towards me translates in my mind, as me burdening them.
i hold everyone in my meditation, all the souls, and project healing and solidarity out to the entire spectrum, and I am especially compelled to focus
in on and lift up the burdens of those who are hurt and lost, disillusioned or isolated.

so I maintain a boundary of detachment in relationships that could otherwise be more passionate, seemingly to compensate for karmic gaps, amorphous
gray clouds of energy radiating from those who are suffering or ignored or marginalized: I feel I should significantly limit my interpersonal
ecstasies and indulgences in romance so that I may direct more uplifting energy to these "lonely and forgotten"...they must travel with me to
everlasting ecstasy, nirvana, because we are the same body.

and so often I end up "lonely and forgotten" half-intentionally, although my light and character is difficult to forget and often leaves large
impressions. I can't help but keep up a certain degree of separation, atleast I intend too, because I'm well aware of the transience of indulgences
and the deception of desires. As an example, in the case of a romance, I will remain detached out of unconditional love; I don't want the other
person to become reliant on my love and passion alone, I don't want them to view me as their special someone, because I want for them a release from
all suffering. I want them to be solid and resilient in their own mind when I leave, but retain our mutual love energy in their hearts.

This detachment often comes off as cold to a person who doesn't see the manifold reality, who is unaware of the whole source. It is a recurring
syndrome I must wrestle with privately, as I understand it is not for me to make them see, but only to the guide them in the direction of, through
acts.

There are so many different circumstances that can cause loneliness. My father when he was alive used to bring complete strangers home off the street
and get my mother to feed them. He felt sorry for anyone that had nobody to talk to or no home to go to and they landed up at our dinner table more
times then I can recall

Maybe in some situations basic kindness can go a long way - it wont remedy all loneliness if for example a person has cut themselves off from society
for their own reasons but sometimes if we recognise symptoms of sadness or isolation in others there are those we might be able to help.

Some people just are not very good at making friends, while others are born to be popular. Guys who are funny, and talk a lot often have lots of
friends while quiet people are the opposite.

Personally, I enjoy the quiet and isolation. My problem is trust; I have seen many people gossip/talk smack on 'friends' and also about me when
my/their friends/back was turned.. rather be alone than with someone I don't trust.

I think that's great that people on here have found a way to help the lonely. Personally I find it hard to help those who truly need it. There is
not enough anyone can do for them. They never change and they are set in their ways. I think it's good if you visit people who are lonely and they
are gracious and a good friend and appreciate your company. I think it's very natural and normal. However there are some people out there that you
just can't do enough for, and all they do is give you and everyone else a hard time because they are so desperate for attention. I left them alone,
either they didn't like me or I wasn't doing any good anyway.

Now I wanted to not dwell on that and comment further about loneliness because I think for some, it happens for a reason and at some point we have to
face it in our personal evolution.

This happens with people who are on the path of wisdom or spiritual growth (I guess you could say). They get to a point where they realize their own
wholeness, or that the universe is one, all is one, etc. Then they feel this immense loneliness because if everything is one, if I am one, then that
oneness must be terribly and truly lonely. But look at it this way, that oneness is complete in such a way and so beautiful and pure, it has it's
own vitality and is so full of energy. It is nothing to be sad about. It is whole in it's own way. Loneliness hurts because it makes us feel like
we are missing something, like there is this void in us, but if we are honest we will see that we are never more whole than when we are alone in the
proper spirit. It's nothing to get stuck on, or try to stay in a state like that, but when it happens it is best to accept it and see it for what it
is.

I love what Krishnamurti wrote in this book I have of his, "Commentaries on Living." He has a chapter he titles Aloneness and Isolation on page 10
- it's way too much to type so I will try to paraphrase a bit and I wont do it justice but here goes. He makes the distinction between being alone
and being lonely. To him aloneness is a purity, a richness, and completeness. Like a tree has no existence other than being itself. That is being
alone. Loneliness is a product of the self. The feeling of isolation is a product of confusion and misunderstanding. You see there are people who
are surrounded by people that love them, that still feel lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind. Actually that book is great for people who feel this
way. It covers almost every issue and I find it to be about the only book that's really helped me with my own personal issues so completely.

Originally posted by Heartisblack
I've tried and tried time after time to understand and try to comprehend why some of these people are alone in this world. It ends up with no
result.

edit on 25-9-2011 by Heartisblack because: (no reason given)

You're not looking in the right places for your answers. I believe the answer is genetic. I have two best friends, and I bust my ass fighting
fatigue to make sure I see each of them at least once every two months barring unforeseen circumstances. I also have a few larger groups of satellite
friends and acquaintances connected to those best friends, but due to my own issues, I've never really brought them into anything meaningful, and
that could change with some upcoming events, but that's neither here nor there. The bottom line is, I find it very difficult to be a social
creature, and I can't find any reasonable explanation aside from genetics.

I believe that romantic loneliness is even more attributable to genetics. Your appearance, your smell, and even the sound of your voice all make up
the total package that a potential mate has to agree to before they will even get to know you. This is your brain using multiple senses to assess the
genetics and immune system of the person. (Of course, sometimes we put aside our instincts for a bit of fun but those never become serious and the
best outcome is that nobody gets hurt.) And even after that preliminary test is passed, your fundamental personalities have to match to a significant
degree, AND you must accept each others flaws, and these two things are still at least partially influenced by genes.

Relationships are for the birds, I'll just stick with my homeboy Silent Bob.

I feel alone cause I don't have much in common with IRL friends anymore. Ive been isolating myself for a long time. WoW helped tons. But I try to be
social on an interweb. Sometimes I think about crying as a strength. The fact that I am able to cry makes me human. Why I "chose" this ? A: still
have faith humanity will care.

I have been feeling pretty down lately and the feelings of loneliness and despair can really sting at times. I am grateful to have the very few people
around me who I know do care, but sometimes it feels like my existence is pointless and my life lacks any meaningful relationships. One can only hope
that the coming Shift in Consciousness or big event or whatever it is will have a positive effect on humanity, including helping those who feel lonely
and isolated from the rest of society.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
I have been feeling pretty down lately and the feelings of loneliness and despair can really sting at times. I am grateful to have the very few people
around me who I know do care, but sometimes it feels like my existence is pointless and my life lacks any meaningful relationships. One can only hope
that the coming Shift in Consciousness or big event or whatever it is will have a positive effect on humanity, including helping those who feel lonely
and isolated from the rest of society.

edit on 26/9/2011 by Dark Ghost because: (no reason given)

Sadly, I understand this and wish for the same thing. Everything feels meaningless. I have tried my hardest but still don't get the purpose of this
life. I am flawed. Apparently, I lack what it takes to make this life work for me. Goodness knows I have tried. I consistently fail. I just don't get
it.

I sure hope you don't get mad at me. I mean utmost well. People used to give me this wisdom, and I took offense.

I finally one day, got to sit down with a Psychiatrist, and when he told me what my malady was, everything that never made sense to me, finally
finally made sense to me. From out of the starting gate, I tried to have a friend. Epic Fail. I went into the military. Epic Fail. I tried to
have relationships with men. Epic epic epic ***Fail*** . I tried to hang on to jobs and apartments. Epic Fail.

Now, I am reasonably happy. No more E.F.s. And now, I get along with my family too. No more loneliness.

Now this experience is just me, but sometimes, you WILL NOT succeed on your own, without the intervention of Professionals.

It angers me that there are people out there with no love in their lives. It's one of those unacceptable aspects of life.
After all, everyone should have at least someone or something in their life to give them meaning. And with meaning - loneliness usually dissipates.

On a completely different note, and sillily enough... my "fantasy" is kinda like the... Beauty & The Beast scenario. Ya know, by chance,
meeting a lonely recluse and bringing happiness and love into his life. Much easier imagined than accomplished, of course.
If anything, it's interesting that my mind is attracted to the idea of alleviating loneliness.

I live what most would consider a lonely life. I systematically cut most everyone out of my life. They were more nuisances that true friends
anyway. There was no give and take only the latter. Why did I do it? Why not. I do my best to my keep my temperament neutral and level. But having
people in my life irritated me to my wits end at times. I have certain attributes that some would desire but those attributes always made me a target
for those of a lesser caliber. (Lesser caliber meaning people who constantly need proof of their self worth at the expense of others) While I
normally have no issues being a social person I no longer desire it. I don't depend on others for happiness. If I ever do find some good honest
people I'd love to keep them in my life but I won't hold my breath. Maybe I'll get a dog.

On a completely different note, and sillily enough... my "fantasy" is kinda like the... Beauty & The Beast scenario. Ya know, by chance,
meeting a lonely recluse and bringing happiness and love into his life. Much easier imagined than accomplished, of course.
If anything, it's interesting that my mind is attracted to the idea of alleviating loneliness.

I have certain attributes that some would desire but those attributes always made me a target for those of a lesser caliber.

That Avatar picture of the previous poster 'xfloggingMaryx' I look ---just like--- that, um, under 120 lbs. (Um, but I'm now not under 120.
Hehe...) (So don't anyone get any wrong notions...) (And when I was young. I'm now not real young.) And I always attracted predators. Can you
imagine? Looking like that, and being troubled and all alone alot! I had to buy and learn to use a gun.
Being alone and or lonely, is unsafe as well. Unless you have the money to be armed in a nice house with security, in a safer area,.......(the money
issue again..)

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