"With those who do not give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers, and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them."

I think he loves it because it reminds him of his dad. So here’s me playing on the piano for him. Also, since I’m technologically inept, it took me about 5 tries before I figured out how to get the webcam working and all. I’m sure my neighbors were thrilled about hearing the same song banged on on the piano 5 times in succession.

So after the final take, I was like, “OK this is great!” And then I watched it in its entirety and saw a little snafu at the end…

Anyways, happy father’s day, Dad!

And just to keep with the theme of the written/typed word, here’s a list of the Top 9 things I’ve learned from my dad over the course of 29 years:

9. Dorritos are for communists.

8. Don’t ask questions in the morning.

7. Always face the entrance when seated in a restaurant. (Which, as my sister was saying yesterday, unfortunately amounts to all 5 of us trying to sit on one side of the table, making us all look nuts.)

6. Never pick up the phone until it rings at least twice.

5. There’s nothing that is ever as bad as stepping in dog shit.

4. Never swing at the first pitch.

3. Family comes first, above all else.

2. Don’t ever, ever root for the Mets, the Nets, the Jets, or the Islanders.

1. Do the right thing.

A few months ago, my sister had bought me one of those Blackberry phone covers (a pinstriped one) and no sooner had I finished opening it than Dad had grabbed it out of my hands and announced, “Here let me do it for you. I know how to do it.”

As if my Dad had some kind of special phone-fitting training that would make him more capable of snapping on a phone cover onto a phone than the rest of us.

It’s soon pretty obvious that the cover is not going to fit on the phone, but Dad is undeterred.

“No, you guys are doing it wrong. Look, let me just do it, please, ok? Dad knows what he’s doing,” he said. So we all watched as his rotated the phone in every possible angle, tried dismantling the phone, tried dismantling the cover, offered up theories about how it’s a giant conspiracy rip off theory, and then ultimately decreed the final word: “Nope. Doesn’t fit. Need a new cover.”

Which is exactly why we all love Dad. He just always seems to know a little bit about everything.Thank you for all the guidance over the years, Dad! The constant stream of completely illogical advice as well as the legitimately profound ones…have been the crux of my makeup over the years. I shudder to think what kind of person I’d have grown up to become had the Mets or Dorritos had played any kind of prominent role.