Well, I have to say that I admire your drive and your goals, but let's look at this another way:

You're trying to compare yourself and your training to that of a professional football player. That, kind sir, is absolutely retarded. But I'll give you a free pass, just because I feel a little sorry for someone as hopelessly delusional as you appear to be. Just don't send me any of your "Elvis helped pull off 9/11" conspiracy theories, okay?