A fine race of people that does not whine about its minority status or beg for special privileges or entitlements. They make great sausages and wine, and work for a living. They never paint their names on other people's property and don't hang out on street corners looking to mug people. They never play BOOM BOOM music in their homes or cars.

You can tell when you enter the Portagee part of town by the neat, clean houses. California Portagees often put abalone shells in their front yards. These are much more attractive than the grafitti that some other people put in their front yards.

Connecticut and California have the largest concentrations of Portagees in the USA. In California, look for Portagees in San Leandro, Port Arena, Manchester, and Fort Bragg.

Be sure to go to a Holy Ghost Parade. Everyone is welcome. Lots of Portagee men carry statues of the Holy Virgin down the street. There is always a Queen of the Holy Ghost Parade. Often, she is the girl with the biggest mustache. After the parade, the Portagees gather in a large hall to eat linguisa and Portagee Soup made of kale and pork.

Support your local Portagees. They work hard and pay taxes. They are low maintenance people who stay out of trouble and NEVER beg for government handouts. You are always safe in the Portagee part of town.

A commonly used term for Portuguese people. They are a clean industrious people, mostly white. They enjoy homemade wine and other portagees. They usually have fine masonry, and an occasional lion in the front yard. A clean 1st floor is important for appearances, so they spend most of their time in their renovated basements. In the "Portuguese Corner" neighborhood of Lowell Ma., A good friday night for the teens is circling poorly modified sedans or Camaros in Dunkin' Donuts parking lot, and speaking in an unintelligible language.