10 Tips For Finding Love In the New Year

I get excited to sit down and write my New Year’s resolutions. I put on cozy pajamas, light a fire, pour myself a glass of red wine and open my laptop. Before I start typing, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and breathe – an important pause because this is the moment of truth. This is when I look back and get "real' about my life. I acknowledge what is working and admit to myself what isn’t. And I think about what I want. Not what my parents, my kids or my friends want me to want - but what I want. Am I living up to my own expectations? Am I doing my best? Am I accomplishing things that matter? Is my life going in a good direction? And the most important question of all, am I truly happy?

I sit and stare at the blank screen. The wine eventually helps with my writer’s block, and words begin to flow. Two glasses later, my mission is accomplished. I head up to bed smiling; knowing that this year will be a good one. I’m going to make important changes. I’ve got a plan of action, and I’m feeling motivated.

Okay, now let’s fast forward to April or May. Where is my list again? I haven’t seen it in months. Did I file it under "self-improvement" or "New Year’s resolutions"? Hmmm!

As a matchmaker and dating coach and someone who motivates others for a living, it’s hard for me to admit that when it comes to my own personal to-do list, I don’t always follow through. After all, I’ve got kids, a fiancé, a social life, my own business, piles of bills, cars and a house to take care of. It’s just hard. You know the drill.

We all want to make changes, but we get caught up in our day-to-day routines, and we forget the promises we make to ourselves. We forget that change requires hard work, commitment, repetition and sometimes even support from the people who love us the most. So this year, I’m determined to do things differently. This time, I’ve taped my list to my bathroom mirror, and item number one reads: