Linnocent is the cover girl for the August issue of Vanity Fair Italia. I’m praying that this is the only Vanity Fair cover that she’s got coming in the near and the distant future, but I’m starting to get an itchy feeling that the crackhead will also be covering the September issue of the American VF. Would you like a joke? Before I turned on the Google Chrome translator to find out what Linnocent was saying, my eye caught this headline: “Lindsay Lohan: Che male ho fatto?” I know it’s Italian and everything, but I would like to think they’re calling Linnocent a fat she-male ho.

As far as the photo shoot goes… I’m loathe to use this terminology, but it just seems utterly appropriate for Linnocent: she looks like trailer trash. The white-blonde hair, the skimpy, cheap looking costumes, the frosted pink lipstick, the wonk eye, the crack lips, the vacant expression, the budget “trying so hard to be sexy” vibe… it’s all so trashy.

Now, the interview… no one really great has any decent translations, but if you’d like to attempt the Google Chrome translator, you can try the original Italian article here. Linnocent did this whole thing, photo shoot and interview, while under house arrest. The highlights seem to be: “With her grueling month-long house arrest at an end, Lohan talks about her mistakes and her future, the gun she keeps in her pink fur jacket, the fact that jail is a terrible place and her plans to get back into acting.” Wait… what?!? A GUN?! Oh, Jesus. Samantha Ronson’s new girlfriend better watch her ass. Someone who speaks Italian, please send in the English translation of the gun quote. Here are some quotes that other sites are carrying:

She‘s a good actress: “I want to be an actress and I’m good. You learn from your mistakes, right?”

On jail: “Unless you’re a killer, I don’t see a reason to stay there. I never hurt anyone but myself.”

But she’s promising to get back on track and return to work in the fall. She told the magazine: “In October, I’ll begin work. I hope to spend next year on set.”

WTF? “Unless you’re a killer, I don’t see a reason to stay there. I never hurt anyone but myself.” Like the time she hijacked a car, ran over a guy’s foot, kidnapped two of his friends, and endangered countless others by driving all drunk and coked out of her skull? Like the time she CLIPPED A BABY? Like allthecrapshe’sstolen over the years – millions of dollars worth of jewelry, clothing and God knows what? Like the time she beat the hell out of a rehab employee? All of it, VICTIMLESS CRIMES, according to Linnocent. And THAT is why I will never believe that she’s turned over a new leaf. She’s just a narcissistic a–hole who never accept responsibility, EVER. Unfortunately, she won’t really be punished until she actually does kill somebody.

UPDATE: Thanks to all of the Italian-speakers for the translation on the gun quote. Here’s what Linnocent says, in a nutshell:

She brings out a pink fur jacket and a gun: ‘I’ve got a permit to carry a firearm, but it’s not loaded, I keep it in the house in case someone tries to get in.’

This roof top photo shoot is hilarious. They obviously didn’t even care to have a nice backdrop, I remember that red carpet from one of the other shoots she did while on house arrest. The teddy bear and golden skull? What the heck?

‘Someone who speaks Italian, please send in the English translation of the gun quote.’ OK, here we go…

‘She brings out a pink fur jacket and a gun: ‘I’ve got a permit to carry a firearm, but it’s not loaded, I keep it in the house in case someone tries to get in.’

BE AWARE, Californian breakers-and-enterers. I think this is actually rather funny and, in my opinion, says a lot more about US gun laws than it does about La Lohan. In Italy, for example, an ex(?)-drug-addict who’s been convicted and stayed in jail would never ever be allowed to keep a permit to carry a gun. And rightly so, I might add.

@Kaiser
The quote from Vanity Fair says that Lindsay showed a gun AND a pink jacket saying that she is allowed to carry it(the gun), but she also say that the gun is unloaded and that she gets it in case someone would try to enter in her house…

The idea of her with a gun is terrifying. I hope she doesn’t have an assistant or housekeeper or anyone who shows up unannounced, she’s so cracked out she’ll probably shoot them. And then somehow get out of jail time again.
When you DUI, you risk hurting MANY people. She still doesn’t get that.

I cannot stop staring at the photo where she’s all boot-legged Sharon Stone in Casino with the red couch, giant bear, gold skull & the feather-pooping. It’s like some kind of puzzle that da Vinci and Tom Hanks want me to solve. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
and those shoes immediately made me think of the Hedwig quote “What poor animal had to die for you to wear that?”.Is that leopard-print cowhide?

The pistol permit must be easy to get in LA, she has a criminal record. You can’t get one in NYS without practically being God. And you can’t get one in NYC even if you are God. Not like God would need a gun.

It’s official. They can’t even photoshop the crackhead out of her anymore.

She remains delusional about her past but then when you’ve got a justice system that doesn’t deliver justice this is what you get. California and now Florida need to form their own country. Their motto should be, give us your murderers, rapists, and pillagers. We welcome your kind with open arms.

I DO think that we sometimes are too hard on victimless offenders; especially kids who are minorities or from lower-income families. However, I do NOT include Lindsay Lohan in the category of “people the justice system went too hard on.”

Everyone keeps saying that Kristen Stewart should play Casey Anthony, but hell, I think Lindsay in a wig would be a better fit. She can even bring her own jumpsuit. And surely there is an out-of-work Baldwin somewhere who can step in as Baez…

Hmmmm. Maybe they should let out all the inmates that aren’t killers. When St. Linnocent finally kills someone due to her reckless and irresponsible behavior, the Sheriff can’t use the “overcrowding” excuse, and will finally keep her ass in jail.

Just more excuses, blaming, and denial on her part. And I agree about the hair. She needs a blonde intervention. It’s ghastly.

@Leah No-No- I missed your Hedwig quote. I love that movie! Lindsay’s actually looking a tad Hedwig-ish herself, what with the blonde hair and weaves. Although, John Cameron Mitchell makes a finer woman than she does, even on her best days. She needs a stylist, STAT!

Is there a shortage of beautiful italian actresses/models/society women that they have to put this creature (echoing poster #30) on their cover. I have to believe payola or favors are involved because my house cats chasing a tinkling ball are more interesting than this brainless loser.

As much as I despise this contemptible woman I can admit she took a really good picture, until now. It used to piss me off that she looked so good in her shoots especially considering her personality, it should have showed through. Looks like I got my wish

Why anyone would see a movie with her in it anymore? Why would anyone want to know her as a person?
And a DUI isn’t putting anyone in danger? Because apparently the apocalypse was deemed imminent so when Lindsay was driving on Whatever there was nobody on the roads or the streets and all the people who take a midnight jog were inside playing Jenga one last time. Right.

I have yet to see a recent photo shoot of this chick where she isn’t egging the viewer to bang the crap out of her. There’s more to interesting photography than sexuality. She’s a hooker & 100% responsible for her skank image.

wow. Over the past year she’s done some dreadful shoots. The scariest looked like the work of random paps whose sole notion of ‘lighting’ is a flashbulb; styled by Li’honnocent & ‘friends’ w/the aid of a pipe & case of vodka.

But this VF Italia is *insane* (like that choke-inducing ‘never hurt anyone but myself’ line). It’s also perfect: Ms DUI deserves this exposure.

The OL cover/Photo 6 is the stuff of nightmares: that Street-Hooker in-an-evening-dress gaze, the reclining pose on a red satin couch in the arms of a giant teddy-bear, & oh… that gold skull! Bet she dissed the photog & makeup artist by appearing 10 hours late. They might’ve taken this in stride, but when she klepto-ed the stylist’s drug stash, it was just too much, & they combined forces to take revenge.

She’s such a wreck by now, tho—a cover for VF USA? —they CAN’T. Last time they made her look nice despite worm-lips & Worst Chin Implant Ever (which I think gives her a permanent double-chin that swells w/booze bloat. An ankle-monitor’s superfluous; just check the current size of that pouch under her ‘chin’). VF payed a top-$$ team for the pics; quoted her stale, overly recycled BS, & played along. Her next binge made the issue outdated before it reached the newsstands.

She’s got nothing to sell but lies & recycled delusions. If she hustles—hard—might manage a spread in a cheap mens’ mag.

@ Marianne, not sure Linnocent is able to think anymore since she fried her few brain cells with coke and meth etc although that is giving her some credit 4 ever being able to think coherently b4 the crack!

Wow! The first pic looks like Heidi Montag. Why in the world is she allowed a gun?????? Her house arrest was a joke: if you can’t go to Rime, bring Rome to you and that’s exactly what she did. Partying, doing interviews, and all. She the luckiest bitch ever. So the 3 strikes and you’re in deep isn’t even applied to her.
We have a f”"”"Ed up judicial system. She and Casey could write a memoir whining that people are just out there to get them. They have a lot in common (still La Logan hasn’t kill anyone yet)

I believe gun laws in LA are actually quite strict. You can have them in your house, maybe, but NO ONE can get a concealed carry permit (i.e. to carry the gun in your car or IN YOUR PINK COAT), UNLESS you have a special case, like you’re a celebrity or a politician, maybe.

COME ON! How ridiculous is that? So the only people who are packing in LA are the criminals who obtain them illegally, the LAPD, and the drug addled celebs? Sucks to be a law abiding, normal person in that mess.

Love these quotes as I have my self a website with quotes about life. Thought it would be wise to share my favorite quote: “It’s the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what’s right.” – Peter Parker

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