BDSM does NOT have to be anything like what you have imagined! Playful bondage – the kind that will be discussed here – can and IS an EXTREMELY pleasurable experience for both partners – and can heighten the arousal to levels not previously attained – and all without pain!

Since I do pride myself on first and foremost educating people on the facts, let me begin with some definitions – so that we may all begin on the same metaphoric page.

What is bondage and how do you use bondage sex toys?

All about bondage

Bondage is a beautiful, sensual and emotional way to celebrate the bond between you and your partner or lover. Bondage can also be used as an alternative form of therapy, catering for those needs you discover were deep within you, seeking a way to be recognised and fulfilled.

What is bondage?

Bondage is a consensual activity between adults where restricting movement occurs, usually using bondage sex toys such as bondage rope, ankle and wrist cuffs, or other fetish gear and accessories.

Contrary to popular opinion, bondage and any other type of BDSM activity such as power exchange and roleplay does not have to include or lead to sex. In fact, many people enjoy regular bondage sessions without any sexual contact at all. It attends to a more psychological need than physical for many, although of course if you and your partner want to include sexy time – that’s ok too! There are few actual ‘rules’ when it comes to bondage and BDSM (although we will touch on a couple later on) so feel free to do what feels right for both of you.

How will I know if I like it?

Same as with anything – try it and see. You don’t have to dive in the deep end and wear complete fetish garb and go to a BDSM club; try some comfortable, affordable bondage sex toys such as wrist cuffs with your partner and see where your play takes you.

Perhaps you will enjoy being the one restrained, or maybe you’ll prefer to be the one doing the tying up!

How do I get started?

The easiest, most discreet and budget-friendly way to ‘dip your toe’ into bondage is by purchasing a all-in-one style bondage kit. The Ultimate Fetish Fantasy BDSM Kit is one of, if not the most inclusive bondage kit available, with 8 pieces of high quality, reliable bondage sex toys to enjoy.

The items in the Ultimate Fetish Fantasy BDSM Kit come in a beautifully designed box, while the items themselves are comfortable and easy to use.

What’s in this kit?

In the Ultimate Fetish Fantasy BDSM Kit you will receive 8 items, which will be in your choice of traditional black or passionate and vivid red.

The wrist cuffs & ankle cuffs are quite self explanatory. Fasten them around your willing partner’s wrists and/or ankles. Make sure you get the right ones for the right limbs – the larger of the pair are the ankle cuffs. Don’t be afraid to fasten them very securely with the buckle fasten; they need to be on quite tight so that your partner can’t wriggle free. You can either keep them connected to each other using the detachable chain, or you can use your own bondage accessories to connect each cuff to other furniture. For example, trigger clips could be used to keep your partner in a spread-eagled position on the bed, attaching one to each cuff and then to your underbed restraint system, or to fastenings on the bedposts.

Of course, the cuffs are just as easy and fun to use when you connect them to each other, restricting your partner’s movements and giving both of you a rush of sensation both by being in bondage and viewing someone at your mercy.

Another way to restrain your partner is to use the bondage rope. This generous length of rope is specially designed to resist chafing, and therefore avoid damage to a person’s skin, even during intense bondage. Rope bondage which fashions harnesses and intricate knots is also known as Shibari bondage, from the ancient Japanese art. Before you engage in rope bondage it is worth doing some research online or through buying a book, so that you learn some basic knots and also some valuable safety precautions.

Once your partner is all tied up or in cuffs, what next? If you’ve ever wondered about erotic spanking or kinky punishment, grab the flogger included in the Fantasy by Cara Sutra set. A flogger is a fantastically versatile fetish toy, as you can use it to either lightly trail the fronds over your partner’s skin, or use the tails to give a stinging thwack to their backside once you have them positioned appropriately.

A flogger, when used correctly, can deliver stimulating sensations which can be described as foreplay, or a stern punishment to a ‘naughty’ submissive partner.

A collar is one of the main symbols of ownership and submission in BDSM. They can also cause a powerful change of attitude when worn in a bedroom bondage environment. Putting the collar on your submissive is likely to be an erotic experience for you both, and teamed with the leash you can enjoy kinky ‘walkies’ or just use the leash to restrain your collared partner to the bed. Why not hold the end of the leash in your hand, tightly, as you have sex? The sensation of not being able to ‘get away’ and being firmly under your control is certain to have dramatic effects.

Make them speechless – the kinky way. With the breathable ball gag you will be able to mute their words to merely plaintive cries and erotic sounds. This ball gag has been specially crafted so that your partner can still breathe through the ball while it’s in place. Secure round their head with the ball between their teeth, and buckle securely at the back.

Other senses are heightened when vision is taken away. The anticipation of a touch – whether sensual or reprimanding – will have them trembling with excitement. As their world falls into darkness, their psyche is bound to come alive with sparks of colour. The blindfold in this kit is very easy to wear, with the elasticated strap and faux-fur backing ensuring comfort at all times. it’s also cleverly shaped to make sure there’s no chance of peeking!

Anything else to remember?

Safety comes first – well, joint first, with consent. Both are absolutely essential for any type of kinky play session, which includes bondage activities. Consent is what separates BDSM from abuse, and safety shows the respect which is due with consenting trust.

With this in mind it is always a good idea to set a safeword before you get started with bondage or kinky play activities. A safeword is a word (something different to ‘no’ or ‘stop’) which means to stop proceedings immediately. It must be something that wouldn’t normally be said in the course of the scene, so words like ‘giraffe’ or ‘aztecs’ are much better than ‘stop now’ which could be said in the heat of the moment but not really meant literally.

If your submissive partner can’t speak due to a mouth gag, it’s wise to set up finger signals in place of a safeword – or give them a buzzer or bell to ring. When using bondage rope, keep medical scissors nearby in case an immediate release is required. Do not place rope around a person’s neck, or use anything with slipknot effect around this area.

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