I’m stuck with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his face.

Oops, I dated a pen.

You like to think that you’re a mule fruity stub

‘coz I’m a free roaming perv now, and this perv will watch you change.

She seems to have an invisible tractor.

Kick her teeth out, tell me what’s wrong…

It’s the hammer of lust. It’s the hell of peeing

That dedgum black kid don’t blame me he went bald.

She drives me crazy and I can’t heat up an elf

ANSWERS

1. Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett

Real lyric: But there’s booze in the blender

Misheard: But there’s boobs in the blender

The story: When I was a kid, I thought that Buffet was really sick. I heard Margaritaville years later (after I discover that frozen concoction for myself 🙂 ) and suddenly it was all clear.

2. Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson

Real lyric: I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways.

Misheard: I’m stuck with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his face.

The story: I was on the phone to my friend and she was listening to it. We started singing it together and she ended up laughing at me for weeks.

3. Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears

Real lyric: Oops, I did it again.

Misheard: Oops, I dated a pen.

The story: I was singing with my friends in school and they stopped singing, and I was all alone singing the wrong words.

4. Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer

Real lyric: You like to think that you’re immune to the stuff

Misheard: You like to think that you’re a mule fruity stub

The story: This was my sister’s misheard when she was about 4 or 5. It used to crack me up. I still hear “mule fruity stub” once in a while when this song comes on, and i can’t help but laugh.

5. Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Real lyric: ‘coz I’m as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change.

Misheard: ‘coz I’m a free roaming perv now, and this perv will watch you change.

The story: always loved the song, but first time was a little creeped out

6. Invisible Touch by Genesis

Real lyric: She seems to have an invisible touch, yeah!

Misheard: She seems to have an invisible tractor.

The story: Whenever I hear this song I form a mental image of Phil Collins organizing a field plowing contest on his country estate.

7. Chiquitita by Abba

Real lyric: Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong…

Misheard: Kick her teeth out, tell me what’s wrong…

The story: I remember my sisters being utterly butterly over the group. Often was the time I would join in singing the songs and was convinced these were the lyrics.

8. If I Had A Hammer by Peter, Paul, and Mary

Real lyric: It’s the hammer of justice. It’s the bell of freedom

Misheard: It’s the hammer of lust. It’s the hell of peeing

The story: My little sister sang it in her concert and I was singing along and my mom was like, “Meredith! How crude!” and I didn’t even know what I did wrong then my mom told me and I laughed then I told my sister and she got mad, saying “I’m trying to sabotage a perfectly good song.”

9. Pinball Wizard by The Who

Real lyric: That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball

Misheard: That dedgum black kid don’t blame me he went bald.

The story: Andrea was in the car with her big sister, singing this at the top of her lungs. Her sister made her repeat it many times while cracking up and finally told her what she was singing wrong.

10. She Drives Me Crazy by Fine Young Cannibal

Real lyric: She drives me crazy and I can’t help myself

Misheard: She drives me crazy and I can’t heat up an elf

The story: Surrounded by friends at a Halloween party, I argued that my version was right. I was wrong.

It was so much fun and a great group. I wish we had another weekend. We got a lot of compliments from people; I know they nicely told me that I was always in character, made Penny very real, different than me, and someone they watched through the whole show.

Here’s a shot of the set; they did a fantastic job with it. We joked that we wanted to live there.

Me as Penny Sycamore at my writing corner plus skull holding candy. Seagull over my shoulder belonged to my Nana and then my mom. The books were mostly ours, ranging from Disney to Theater to Star Trek to Buck Rogers, and included Curly’s biography, Williamsburg photos, Wicked the musical, and more.

I looked a bit like my mom and my Nana with those glasses, hair, and dress.

As you already know, I had a certain co-star:

Meep's ready and I'm on my way to join him for the curtain opening.

He lived with us so Cathi didn’t have to drive back and forth the theater each night. I was worried at first that he wasn’t happy with us:

Let’s zoom in on that:

But he actually had a good time, especially considering he had never been away from his mom before. (He looks just like his mom, Tatiyanna.) And he loved being at the theater, making friends with everyone, especially Brian. Meep so totally trusted Brian — and Brian could get him to be very mellow — that Meep would calmly sit in his hand:

Yorick! I knew him, Horatio!

John did a great job as Paul Sycamore and people told me how glad they were to see him in a role that was more than comedy. He had to play a man questioning his life as father and husband, and dealing with possibly losing his youngest daughter. Both women did a great job as our daughters, with Nikki and John working well in the emotional scenes:

Two other people in our cast: Frank and Maria. Maria came in late and made such a great character out of Rheba that she and Frank stole a lot of scenes. I loved watching them together:

Sorry these show pictures are from the same angle; it was all I could get.

Here’s Glenn, as our son-in-law Ed, and Tom playing the lead detective. It was Tom’s first show and he grow a lot in the role; I hope he had fun so he does more plays. ANd I wish I got a picture of Glenn and Roseanne who were so much fun, on stage and backstage, as Ed and Essie:

Here’s Joe who played Grandpa. It’s the largest role he did and he did wonderful!

And it was a good and fun challenge to play father and daughter together; we had to work on how we would show that in small gestures and the way we talked to each other.

Here we’re just goofing around backstage on the first night we had costume and makeup.

I originally was going to gray my hair or wear a gray wig, but we decided it would make me look too much like Joe’s contemporary with his aged makeup.

But the wig didn’t go to waste:

Wigs! They make great blankets too!

It was a tough week; rehearsal every night and then shows all weekend. We got tired….

but got energized with the good audiences!

Too soon, it was over and we had one last laugh together at the cast party:

Joe, John, Glenn, and Joe

Thanks, everyone, for a good experience. It will be one of the highlights in my memory.

…the Friendlys on the Black Horse Pike is having a charity night to benefit my animal shelter, Oasis. You don`t have to do anything special; just go to Friendlys between 5 and 8pm, and order like you would any other time. That`s it! No extra charges and no one in your face about the charity. But! Friendlys donates 15% of the total sales made in those 3 hours to our shelter! So you`re helping us out even by having some ice cream. (The shelter will have brochures in the lobby in case anyone wants any more information.) Thank you for your support!

If your spirit can’t take a lot of bad news, I don’t blame you and I recommend going to read something cheery.

On top of things we’re worried about at home and my sister’s Cathi’s car accident, within 12 hours, we had 2 terrible pieces of news.

John’s close friends lost their mom. She had been like a Mom to John too and that makes the 4th that he’s lost. She died Wed night, a half hour after they called John to say she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and only had a few days.

The very next morning, a good friend’s aunt rushed into the hospital with chest pains and trouble breathing. They found an extensive mass on her lung and they think it’s lung cancer. They also worry about their older aunt as she crumbles watching her baby sister, the last of her siblings, fall under this.

In the past couple weeks, one friend suddenly lost his wife and another saw his sister pass away. The month before: my friends James and Joe lost their moms.

It’s something we don’t think about growing up and we hear our parents talk about their friends’ parents fading away. But the generation that had the Boomers are in their 70s, 80s, and 90s. Many people I know are Baby Boomers and even though James and I are late in life kids, our own parents were the ones to grow up in the Depression and WWII. And the Boomers themselves are in their 50s and 60s…. with all that comes with that. Including my family.

It doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking. It’s horrible. But the scary fact hit me this week… I’m living what I remember my Mom going through with her friends and their parents. Now I understand while the generations younger than me are the ones who now don’t feel it yet. I hope they don’t for a very long time.

We all need something cheery after that. How about this?

In the middle of the most poignant scene in our play, my cell phone rang. And now just any ring, but this:

As I ran off the stage, fumbling to shut it off, one of the other women grinned and said, “Muppet Babies! Awesome.”