Break biscuits (blender, processor or good old rolling pin) until they are like breadcrumbs. Add the melted butter and mix until the crumbs are coated. Press the biscuit mixture evenly over the base of a springform tin (the more it is pressed the harder it will be when finished). Place the biscuit base in the fridge.

Sprinkle gelatine over the 60ml of water in a small heatproof jug. Stand the jug in small saucepan of simmering water, stir until gelatine dissolves. Leave to cool.

Mix cream cheese and caster sugar in a medium bowl with an electric mixer or spoon until smooth. In a separate bowl whip the double cream by beating with an electric mixer or whisk until soft peaks form.

Stir gelatine and mars bars into cream cheese mixture then fold in the whipped cream.

Put the cream cheese mixture on top of the biscuit base and spread with the back of a spoon until even.

Sprinkle the grated dairy milk over the top and place in fridge for roughly 4 hours.

For Sandy’s special secret recipe replace the chocolate chips and cranberries with chopped roasted hazelnuts and orange peel

Beat the butter, sugar, vanilla and egg until smooth, then stir in the oil, flour, baking powder and oats. Mix in the chocolate and cranberries, then chill or freeze the dough until it firms slightly.

Cover a tray with nonstick paper, roll walnut-sized scoops of the dough between your hands so they shape into smooth balls, then place them on the tray and squash slightly to flatten. Using a tea strainer or fine sieve, very heavily dredge the top of each cookie with icing sugar (unless you’re baking them ahead of time, in which case dust with icing sugar when you serve them).

Heat the oven to 170C (150C fan-assisted)/335F/gas mark 3 and bake for about 14 minutes until puffed and golden at the edges. Leave to cool on the tray for a few minutes, then, with a spatula, carefully transfer to a wire rack to cool and firm.

For the sponge: preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4 and line a 12-hole tin with cupcake paper cases.

Tip the flour, sugar, butter and orange zest into a food processor and blitz on a slow speed for one minute, until you achieve a sandy consistency.

Gradually pour in half of the milk and beat until just incorporated. Don’t worry if it looks a little messy at this stage – it will come together!

In a separate bowl, whisk the remaining milk together with the egg and orange juice. Pour into the batter, add the poppy seeds and beat for a couple of minutes until smooth, scraping down the side of the bowl to catch any unmixed ingredients as you go.

Divide the mixture between the 12 paper cases, filling each one up two-thirds full.

Bake in the preheated oven for 20 minutes or until the golden sponge bounces back when prodded with a finger.

Leave to cool on a wire rack while you make the frosting.

For the frosting:

Tip the butter and icing sugar into a food processor and beat until well combined.

Add the orange juice and zest, then beat again for a couple of minutes until light and fluffy.

When the sponges have cooled completely, carefully spoon a third of the frosting into a piping bag and use it to decorate the first four cupcakes.

Repeat until you have finished them all. Alternatively, just use a palette knife to spread about 2 tbsp of frosting onto each cupcake.

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees and line 2 baking sheets with baking paper.

Sift together the icing sugar, ground almonds and cocoa powder. Whisk the egg whites until half-stiff, sprinkle over the caster sugar and continue whisking until very stiff, but not dry. Gradually and gently fold in the sifted ingredients.

Fit a piping bag with a 1cm plain icing nozzle and fill with the macaron mixture. Pipe out 5cm rounds on the lined baking sheets, then leave to stand at room temperature for 15 minutes to form a skin.

Bake for 12-15 minutes: you want them dry on top but still chewy underneath.

Remove to cool on a wire rack, and when they are cool, sandwich with the ganache, which you make by heating all the ingredients in a saucepan until the chocolate’s just melted.

Off the heat, whisk for 3-4 minutes until thick, then leave to cool in the fridge.

Use a knife to spread the ganache on the underside of one macaron, then stick another macaron to it.

A) You can just bung all the ingredients into a bowl and beat them together, and you should be fine.

B)

Cream the butter/sugar together

Briefly beat the eggs

Fold in the flour and eggs a bit at a time.

Add vanilla stuff at the end.

Either way, the resulting mixture should go into two 7-inch round cake tins that have been greased (and floured, if you like).

Bake at 180C for about 20 minutes (should be springy if you gently prod it with your fingers, and a skewer should come out clean)

Spread the top of one of the halves with jam (n.b. if the top is dome-like you may want to level it out a bit first, then eat the delicious warm cake you’ve just cut off) then put the other half on top.

I used ready-roll icing to ice it – follow the instructions on the pack, To help it stick to the cake, spread jam over the entire outside of the cake. It may be helpful to warm the jam a bit first to make it more liquid.

The coloured number 1 was done by slowly adding food colouring to a blob of the ready-roll icing, following each drop with a bit of icing sugar to stop it getting to sticky. When doing this, latex or vinyl gloves are essential, otherwise you’ll be washing your hands like Lady Macbeth afterwards.

The hashtag was done with a tube of cheap lettering icing (from Morrisons I think?), and in the process of doing it I invented several new profanities,

You will need a baking tin, about 23cm x 23cm, preferably non-stick, or a small roasting tin.

Set the oven at 180°C/Gas 4. Line the bottom of the baking tin with baking parchment. Put the sugar and butter into the bowl of a food mixer and beat for several minutes till white and fluffy. You can do it by hand if you wish, but you need to keep going until the mixture is really soft and creamy.

Meanwhile, break the chocolate into pieces, set 50g of it aside and melt the rest in a bowl suspended over, but not touching, a pan of simmering water. As soon as the chocolate has melted remove it from the heat. Chop the remaining 50g into gravel-sized pieces.

Break the eggs into a small bowl and beat them lightly with a fork.

Sift together the flour, cocoa and baking powder and mix in a pinch of salt. With the food mixer running slowly, introduce the beaten egg a little at a time, speeding up in between additions.

Remove the bowl from the mixer to the work surface, then mix in the melted and the chopped chocolate with a large metal spoon.

Lastly, fold in the flour and cocoa, gently and firmly, without knocking any of the air out.

Scrape the mixture into the prepared cake tin, smooth the top and bake for 30 minutes. The top will have risen slightly and the cake will appear slightly softer in the middle than around the edges.

Pierce the centre of the cake with a fork – it should come out sticky, but not with raw mixture attached to it. If it does, then return the brownie to the oven for three more minutes.

It is worth remembering that it will solidify a little on cooling, so if it appears a bit wet, don’t worry.

Extra Features – added by our baker!

I also added the zest of one orange, and a pinch (about a quarter of a teaspoon) of sweet mixed spice.

I also substituted the 50g of dark chocolate that you’re meant to chop up and stir into the mixture, for 50g of white chocolate chips instead.

CHOCOLATE FLAPJACKS (WORLD BOOK NIGHT)

Pic from t’interwb
But mine looked just like this!
HONEST!

Recipe by: School, then various home efforts!

Baked by me! And no one has sued yet!*

1 package of semi-sweet chocolate chips – use what feels right to you!

Crush the Crunchies (Nigella says to do this over a bowl with your hands but that’s actually quite painful so I keep them in their wrappers, put them in a plastic bag and batter with a rolling pin!)

Take the pan off the heat, stir the peanuts and Crunchies into the chocolate mixture

Pour into a lined cake tin (25cm) or large foil tray (roughly 30cm x 20cm) and smooth the top.

Refrigerate for about 4 hours and slice. Store in the fridge, keeps for 3-4 days.

18th CENTURY LEMON MERINGUE PIE

Recipe provided by the Chief Constable of Leeds, Richard Nottingham.

(This is, of course, a lie, as Richard has to rely on Mary to whip up a proper meringue. But she’s willing to allow it to go out under his name as she’s a lovely woman. Given that it’s from the 18th century, measurements are in the old money.)

2 lemons

1 1/2 oz. cornflour

1/2 pint boiling water

5 oz. caster sugar

2 eggs

Pre-heat oven 310 degrees.

Make pastry (or buy) and bake blind in a pie dish. Allow to cool.

Squeeze the juice from both lemons and grate the zest.

Mix the cornflour with a little cold water, then pour on the boiling water and add the lemon juice and zest. Pour into a saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Keep boiling and stirring for 3 minutes.

Separate the yolks and whites of the eggs. Add 3 oz. of sugar to the egg yolks, beat, and then add to the saucepan, mixing well. Pour into the cooled pastry of the pie dish.

Whisk up the egg whites until they form stiff peaks and then fold in the remaining sugar. Spread over the lemon filling of the pie, ensuring it’s completely covered and that the meringue touches the pastry all around the edges. Sprinkle caster sugar over the meringue.

Cook in a pre-heated over (Mark 2, 310 degrees) for 25-30 minutes to set meringue.

Serve warm.

With thanks to @ChrisNickson2 for playing postman. For other bits and pieces from Chris, have a peek here!