I am America's Senior Comedian (R).

Feed Me!

These photos are of His Benevolence, Christopher King, Supreme Ruler of 3-Space. They are suitable for framing and display in public buildings, over your desk, on coins, etc.

The stage photos, the rubble series, the beer series, and the holding-eyeglasses series are courtesy of Gregg Matthews, Orlando. All others by Chris King.

Clicking the thumbnail will show a 300dpi version.

Generally, the staged photos were taken in the olden days, around 2004. I have not aged at all, so you may regard these to be an accurate representation of what my big fat pot belly does not look like.

When the Government Man decides to stab his fat, dirty fingers at things and initiate non-linearity, you may use these in your newspaper or on your TV show if you like.

U.S.
Turns a Blind Eye to Opium in Afghan Town

Published: March 20, 2010

KABUL, Afghanistan — The effort to win over Afghans on former Taliban
turf in Marja has put American and NATO commanders in the unusual position of arguing
against opium
eradication, pitting them against some Afghan officials who are pushing
to destroy the harvest.

Moises Saman for The New York Times

Marines landed in an Afghan opium field last month on
the outskirts of Marja, where opium is the main crop of the area’s
farmers.

From Gen. Stanley
A. McChrystal on down, the military’s position is clear: “U.S.
forces no longer eradicate,” as one NATO official put it. Opium is the
main livelihood of 60 to 70 percent of the farmers in Marja, which was
seized from Taliban rebels in a major offensive last month. American Marines
occupying the area are under orders to leave the farmers’ fields alone.

I'm going over the BS I read in the newspaper from years ago. I seem to recall that we went in to Afghanistan to get those smelly ol' terriss, the Taliban. I don't understand how they could have deposited a 7-series compressor on Murray Street, but whatever.

And to hear McChrystal tell it, we're turning a blind eye to the opium production and, indeed, have to use troops to guard the poppy fields because otherwise the Taliban --or is it Al Qaeda?!-- will get the money! And we don't want that!

Uh, you know the CIA's running all that heroin right back to the US, right? And into Russia, too. See, contrary to their press kit, the CIA is in no way involved in defennin' America. Their job is to overthrow governments on behalf of the banker employers. (The US was one of them. That's why the government doesn't exist anymore. Ask Senator Baldy; his considered legal opinion will confirm this. It's strange days in America!) And the CIA also runs drugs. Remember that light aircraft that crashed in Mexico with tons of coke onboard? Yeah, turns out that the plane has been named in some European lawsuit about torture rendition. The CIA's function is to torture people, overthrow governments, throw bombs, and run drugs. The piss-stained nothings in the Pentagon take their orders from the CIA. That's why US troops are having their brains blown out defending opium fields.

I don't care what the Pentagon has been telling you, but your Vermont National Guard troops are being used to guard the Pentagon's banker masters' poppy fields. (That was the whole goal of that adventure in Afghanistan: to boot out the Taliban, who abhore heroin and who had nearly eradicated its production.)

How much longer are you going to permit Vermont boys to get their brains blown out so that they can guard poppy fields?

When the fuck does someone around here take charge of this madhouse? Do I have to do it?

If you are reading this, you are morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket to my show, which is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian. Tickets are $100 per person, per year. Click to buy your ticket. If you truly don't have the money, you get in for free; otherwise no exceptions to this rule. Thanks, Chris.