Monday, October 28, 2013Can you spot the real celebrity in the audience?

Show #3927Charles Barkley, Lindsey Vonn, and King Krule. PLUS: more of the tin pan man; Cheney's heart; Obama's website glitch; a look-alike in the audience, and a Top Ten list.

" . . . and now, hacienda honcho . . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
-"Things are going so bad for Obama, today he said to Hillary, ‘Can you start early?'"

We check in on our new favorite friend, the tin pan guy banging with a hammer. And since it's Halloween week, we take another look-see to find him banging on the tin pan accompanied by The Monster Mash, performed by Boris Pickett and the Crypt Kicker Five.

And speaking of doctors, Dick Cheney is stumping his new book about all the work he's had on his heart. Don't know why it needed work . . . it was rarely used. Hey-Ohhh!! We see Dick Cheney being interviewed by Dr. Sanjay Gupta on the "Dr. Sanjay Gupta Show."
We see Cheney nodding his head while we listen to Dr. Gupta's question:
THE GUPT: "You've had four heart attacks, three catheterizations at this point, bypass surgery, an implanted defibrillator, a left ventricular-assist device, a mechanical heart, a baboon heart, a mechanical baboon heart, and you paid a high school kid $6 an hour to manually squeeze your heart every five seconds to keep blood flowing through your body. Did you worry about your physical health?"
CHENEY: "No."
Nothing seems to other the Chain-man.
Oops, my mistake. It wasn't the Dr. Sanjay Gupta Show . . . it was "60 Minutes."

President Obama thought he had to work hard to get Obamacare passed. That's nothing compared to his having to explain the website glitches. We see the President calming Americans in his weekly address.
GRAPHIC: "Your Weekly Address"
We see the President trying his best to pretend everything is fine and okay and all will turn out just as he planned. In the background we see a gentleman at work on his laptop trying to get on to the Obamacare website. We hear the dings and beeps of the computer not accepting his request. As with anyone who has trouble with his computer, the guy thinks if he presses on the keys a little harder, good things will happen. Nope. The frustrated insurance-seeker picks up his laptop and throws it with anger across the room.

Hey! How about a hand for that nice piece of acting by our Late Show accountant Joe DeGeorge. Kudos, Joe!

ACT 2:
Sad news this weekend . . . Late Show friend Lou Reed passed away at the age of 71. Sweet Lou performed 8 times on Late Night and 9 times here on the Late Show. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996 as a member of the Velvet Underground.
Did you know that the music of the Velvet Underground was smuggled into Communist Czechoslovakia in the late 60s and inspired influential artists of the time who covered their songs. In 1968, the Soviet Union invaded Prague and put the clamps on such subversive behavior, but they continued to play on the underground circuits. They were eventually arrested and brought to trial. The trial gave birth to a human rights organization, Charter 77, which years later helped bring about the fall of the Czech Communist regime. The leader of Charter 77 was Vaclav Havel, who then went on to become the president of the Czech Republic.
Yup, Lou Reed's music help overthrow communism in Eastern Europe.

During the pre-show Q&A, Dave was thrown off by a couple who were wearing matching outfits. And on top of that, there was a guy in the audience who looked just like Will Ferrell. We get that a lot; audience members who look like celebrities. We take a look at the guy whom Dave was referring. Yeah, he does look a lot like Will Ferrell. Dave has Biff give the look-alike a Late Show t-shirt. Curiously, Dave says nothing about the guy sitting right behind the Ferrell look-alike who looks just like Charles Barkley. Go figure.

TOP TEN: THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE WEDDING OF THE 103-YEAR-OLD MAN AND 99-YEAR-OLD WOMAN – it took place recently in Paraguay.
9. "I bet she's pregnant"
8. "And now, a reading from the large-print Bible."
7. "I heard she once did it with Adlai Stevenson"
Adlai Stevenson . . . . she would have been in her mid-30s at the time.

ACT 3:
CHARLES BARKLEY
NBA basketball great and 15 years as analyst on "The NBA on TNT." Sir Charles has always been a favorite of mine, both on the court and off. He's outspoken, honest, and knows how to agitate. He makes for great entertainment.
Dave wants to know about the Butler University's head coach Brad Stevens who left to take the coaching position for the NBA's Boston Celtics. Dave is unhappy that he's left the Indiana college and is concerned about the students. Charles says when a position like the head coach for the Boston Celtics is offered, you have to take it. It's one of the most prestigious jobs in all college and professional sports. Dave rebuts, "But Bobby Knight never left college for the pros!" Charles quickly fires back that the combustible Bobby Knight would have gotten killed in the pros. He never would have been able to get away with what was familiar to him on the college level. Bobby Knight was a bit of a hot head. That can work with college kids; not so with adults. Dave bringing up Bobby Knight reminded Charles that he owes Knight "a beat down" and thanks Dave for that. Plus, Charles adds, when Brad Stevens gets fired from the Celtics, he can always go back to Butler.
Kobe Bryant . . . . Dave says he's getting a little tired of always hearing about Kobe Bryant. Charles calms Dave by telling him he won't be seeing much of Kobe this year since the Lakers won't be any good. How about the Knicks? Charles tells Dave if he wants to see good basketball, he should drive across the bridge to Brooklyn.
Charles is looking better than ever. Why? Well, he's lost 60 pounds on the Weight Watchers. He's now a spokesperson for the Weight Watchers and shows that it does work. Charles explains that every food has a point value and fruit does not count and vegetables' point value is very low. Why doesn't fruit count? Well, because it has good sugar, not doughnut sugar. And the rice, corn, and potatoes that used to fill his plate are now replaced with "cauliflower, asparagus, and brussel sprouts . . . crap like that." Dave and Charles now lament that they no longer can have the ice cream. They make a deal if they learn the earth is about to end, they will get together and hit the ice cream real hard. Charles says you can still have your cake and cookies, but you can't have it every day. You can have it once a week. And now that he's 50, Charles has learned that you don't see old fat people . . . . because they're dead. Dave suggests that would make a good slogan for Weight Watchers.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Catch Dave tomorrow with his guests Rob Lowe, 2013 IndyCar Champion Scott Dixon, and Alan Jackson. And now, this inspirational message: ‘Stay with us for fun Halloween crafts you can make with items found in your glove compartment."

ACT 6:
LINDSEY VONN
She's the most successful female skier in American skiing history. She's a gold medal winner and a four-time Overall World Cup Champion. Dave saw in the paper recently the results of the World Cup. The results were in tiny tiny print buried deep in the newspaper. Lindsey shrugs and says she hopes to help change that. It should be bigger news.
Lindsey suffered a terrible fall in February that resulted in a torn ACL and her MCL being ripped off the tibia. We take a look at the fall and her being air-lifted off the mountain. It's only been 8 months but Lindsey is eager to get back on the hill and will start competing again after Thanksgiving. And the clock is ticking as we are only 100 days away from the winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.
Lindsey is also involved in a Proctor & Gamble "Thank You, Mom" campaign which recognizes the years and years of behind-the-scenes efforts of the moms of Olympic athletes. Moms rarely get the thanks or recognition they deserve. The short films of the many moms will be released on YouTube in the coming months.

ACT 7:
KING KRULE:
From his album, "6 Feet Beneath The Moon," Kink Krule, making his network television debut, performed "Easy Easy."

The marriage in Paraguay between the 103-year-old man and 99-year-old woman . . . what I liked most about this was it took place in Paraguay. I went to Catholic school my first three years in elementary school, then switched over to public school in the 4th grade. The first report I did in 4th grade was about Paraguay. What I recall about Paraguay is that it is landlocked, its capital is Asuncion, and it looks a little like New Jersey. Yeah, that was about 46 years ago and the above facts still hold true about my little Paraguay.
My next report in 4th grade was about whales. If someone is reading this to you, I mean whales the animal and not Wales the country. I remember being asked what was the enemy of the whale. Instead of going with the obvious, "The killer whale," I went with "humans." "They were hunted for their blubber" I remember saying. Both those reports in 4th grade have helped me numerous times to this day while watching "Jeopardy".

It's the traditional Late Show New Halloween Costumes this Thursday. How well do you know the Late Show? What costumes do you think will be featured this Halloween?

How long before the GOP blames the Obamacare website mess on Al Gore for inventing the internet?

Could this be the moment I have been waiting for? Was this the tipping point? Sunday night's World Series game ended on a pickoff at first base. Cardinals Kolten Wong was picked off first base with two outs in the 9th and his team down by 2. And where was the camera at that most important moment? YES! It was in the stands on a blonde girl with her hands up to her face. WE MISSED IT! WE MISSED THE FINAL OUT! We were looking at a fan in the crowd! Oh, how I love it! Analysts will repeat how Kolten Wong was caught sleeping off first base, but will any of them name the FOX baseball director who called for that show of the unknown female in the crowd? Will they name him and wonder why he called for that shot when there was a baseball game being played on the field? Will anyone wonder aloud what the unknown female was looking at, what everyone in Busch Stadium was looking at, at that very moment? I know what viewers at home were looking at. WE were looking at them looking at the game! Oh, how delicious! And then I watched the late innings of Monday night's game just to see if the director learned his lesson. The camera did pan here and there late in the game but pretty much stayed out of the crowd . . . except once. Yeah, Director Bill Webb couldn't help but show at least one shot of a woman in the crowd with her hands up to her face. I laughed and cursed him at the same time.
Ah, Bill, Bill, Bill. From now on I think I'll call you Bill "Fred Merkle" Webb.

Oh, and there was an article in the New York Times about the missed shot of the pickoff. FOX offered weak reasoning for the miss.

The New York Giants win, 15-7, over the Philadelphia Eagles. The Giants did all they could to keep it close, but I'll take it. And then minutes later, the Dallas Cowboys turned their win into a loss and now the Giants are two games out of first place in the NFC East. Yes, it's true . . . I'm doing all I can to keep the Giants season meaningful at least into November when it looked to be dead in September.
The only thing better than the Giants winning is seeing the Cowboys lose.

The Late Show The Day They Were Born.
Archy Marshall, stage name King Krule, was born on August 24, 1994.
So, what happened on the Late Show the day Archy Marshall was born?
The Late Show was off that week and showed the Al Gore repeat, with Kim Basinger and Chris Isaak. When we came back on Monday the 29th, the Late Show featured Harry Anderson, Steven Wright, and the Allman Brothers. Plus: Marvin Hamlisch performed "Dave's Neighborhood."
And that's what happened on the Late Show the day Archy Marshall was 5 days old.

Late Night The Day They Were BornLindsey Vonn was born October 18, 1984.
So, what happened on Late Night the day Lindsey Vonn was born?
Late Night #462, October 18, 1984. Viewer Mail, Tony Danza, Carl Lewis, and Howard Stern.
And that's what happened on Late Night the day Lindsey Vonn was born.

Time now for This Date In CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History.
October 28, 2003: From Chicago, Illinois, it's Paul Pacholski
This concludes another installment of This Date In CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Green Road in Spring Valley, New York, it's Louis Deutsch
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER