Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cruel Joke

I get up from sleep... My head feels a bit weird... Should have not drunk so much last night, but thats what I tell myself every night...

Hmmm... My chest feels a little weird, maybe all that push ups have finally beginning to show fruit, maybe finally I have that pecs.... No wait... Its something else.... I have boobs !!!

Very disturbing... This is the worst hang over ever....

I am a girl...

Dad comes in, runs his hand through my hair and leaves.... Mom shouts that we need to dust the Drawing room today... But I don't think she's talking to me, I mean she's never asked me that before.

I hate whiskey now.... My best friend calls and I am not able to find my phone.. I tell her that but she takes it as a big joke now... Ha ha ha ha ha... A girl who can't find her phone....

We talk on the phone for nearly an hour... We bitch about Shreya, Sonal and Ritu.... And all this time I thought we all 5 were good friends ... Its Sonal's birthday today, and she is freaking out that I forgot to call her at 12 last night... big deal... Half of my friends forget my birthday... But maybe thats how the game is played.... We talk about the new bottle green jeans that I have bought... Apparently she was about to buy it too.... But then she wouldn't be caught dead in the jeans that I have bought....Strange.... I have only bought blue Levi's Jeans till now.. Thats what everybody bought.... I am wondering why she laughed so hard when I said I need a light blue jeans and I don't know what exactly sky blue means....

She asks me about the the brown Kurta that I have bought last night.. And tells me about her new tube top... Which is soooooooo..... cute....... And even after talking to my best friend for an hour I feel no warmth... Strange.....

Anyways we make a plan to meet up at Shopper's Stop after office to buy clothes.... I seems we don't have any clothes to wear for Sonal's birthday..... And while coming here I saw an whole Almira full of my clothes.....

In office.Time to log in Orkut and Gtalk.....

My god !! 20 people online, I have never seen so many people online... After sometime I change my status to busy... It seems like guys can't stop saying HI....

Work is boring.... Hemant and Ashutosh are ready to do my work for me anyways.... They said they will cover up for me for today.... Team Leader says to go back home.. Its already 6..... Though much earlier then my regular time to go home....

Good.. Now I can go partying today.... Saurabh is nearly begging me since morning to go with him... But I can't say yes to him..... He's just a friend you know....

Me and my 'Best friend' meet in Shopper's Stop....

After going through truck loads of stuff we finally agree on buying a top for her... Now why is this shop keeper tugging on his hair ??...

Strange..... I'm having trouble carrying this bag of clothes....

Finally.... I am back home with all that stuff... We also stopped along the way to buy ourselves a pair of hideous ear rings....

Tring Tring....5th call since morning.... All these guys had called to just say to say 'Hi' and had talked on for half an hour... I am not gonna pick this call... He's such an asshole.....

I go back home.. Take a shower and take half an hour to choose clothes for myself.... And apparently I'm in all this cleanliness thing now... I can't wear the shirt I threw on the chair last night...

So its 10 and we arrive at the club... Some sort of Ladies night here and free drinks for all of us...Wow...Some guys in the distance are being shooed away..... No stags allowed.... Thats too bad...

All the guy's eyes are on me ... Even the ones who are with their girl friends... Strange .. I didn't dress up that well and I needed to lose 5 kgs to wear this dress actually.... I'm bulging from everywhere....

Some of them try to see with the corner of their eyes, some of them look at me and then look beyond me as if they were searching for some of their friends... Guys, I know...

Oh shit ! Girls know !

I go over to the Bar to ask for a beer..... The bartender is ready to oblige me immediately... But he suggests me Vodka Martini instead, all drinks are free anyways for me... Sweeeeeet.....

But why am I getting this feeling that his eyes are following me everywhere ??

Some guy asks me to dance...... I really want to dance and this guy looks like the better of the lot that is here but I say 'NO'... He would have taken me for a slut then it seems.... But why wasn't he looking at my face when he was taking to me ? Poor guy, must have been shy....

Its weird not to sit brazen.... With my legs crossed...

We toast Sonal's birthday every time we order a drink.... We all shout cheers in loud but shrill voice and giggle like School Girls everytime... Who will tell these girls that you only say Cheers once when you start drinking and you never toast to yourself... One of us lights a cigarette and passes it on... But why is not anyone drawing the smoke in ? Hmmm....

Oh my god !Some friend of hers has brought a cake here to the club... And then we start singing 'Happy Birthday to you' in that voice I had mentioned before.... Man... What kinds of freaks are we ??

Whatever.... I need to go to the loo....

Oh shit ! I have walked in the ladies room... These girls are gonna shout...Huh ? Nothing happens...Oh I am a girl now too... But why is everyone hogging the basin and the mirror above it ? Only a few girls seem to be here to pee... A few are talking on the phone for minutes now... Why can't they say "Dude I'm at the club, plenty of hot babes here. Will talk to you tomorrow" and hang up ?

I get back.. All my friends are getting sloshed... And then are shouting 'Oh I'm so drunk' ... Ya, we all can see that anyways....

Sonal asks me to request a song from the DJ...

- "No, he always says no request"- "Who said that ? He always plays for me."- "No"- "yes'- "Ok i will try"

So I walk up to him and flutter my eyelids at him... "Hey could you please play me......."- "Sure , it will be the next song"Bastard ! Why did he had to say no to me everytime ? I always asked for the hottest songs around....

Party ends... Tons of guys ask us to drop us home....- "Don't worry we'll catch an auto and go" I say.The girls let out a shreik , some guys start laughing and some guys can't comprehend what I just said....

In the end Sonal finally picks out a guy who will be dropping us from her friends. But not before he offers to buy us a round of drinks and go for a long drive !

Man... How foolish guys are !

Finally we reach my home.... I leave the girls fighting about whom actually was that cute guy looking at.

I get back home, dad opens the door... He grumbles something about the time, my company and how girls should know their limit and goes back to sleep....

I change and go to sleep... Cool....This was the most fun night ever....

I get up from sleep... My head feels a bit weird... Should have not drunk so much last night, but thats what I tell myself every night...

The hair on my arms are back... I run a hand on my cheek... I have a stubble... Freaked I run to the mirror...no No NO NOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

I'm a guy again. That was all a dream !!

Oh No ! What a cruel joke !

Disclaimer - This is a work of drunk Fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

About Me

Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt use it — don't cheat with it. -
Ernest Hemingway