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Today was rough.

4/23 Wednesday

What a weird day, woke up with a text from my mother which is never good. “Call me when your up, I have good news and bad news”. I get these a lot, it puts a pit in my stomach but I got out of bed and called her. My uncle has been in and out of the hospital and he was now in a coma. This was inevitable, he has MS, he smokes or did up until 1 year ago.
It started in ernest a year ago when he was admitted in to the hospital, it’s been all downhill from there. Stomach cancer diagnosis, multiple bouts with pneumonia now he has an embolism in his lungs and they have found one in his heart.
I have never really had much of a relationship with my Uncle, however I always had a relationship with my cousin, his daughter. He’s also my mom’s brother. My cousin who is just a couple of years younger is loosing her father. She’s the first of us to really go through this, although I did 13 years ago when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. I remember crying for days,not being able to get a grip. I wasn’t ready. I wonder if that is how she feels now. She didn’t get to have that last conversation with him, she’s all the way in London, there is regret for something that got left undone. Brutal, I wish everyone godspeed.