Sunday, 27 August 2017

Living the Single Life

Hi, blog. First post in what has literally been forever. How are things? Yeah, sorry, life got out of hand, just ask my actual friends, they have hardly seen me this year. How are the views and the comments? Non-existent, man that's tough.

Anyways, HI WORLD! I want to rant. About a topic I am an expert on. Being Single.

I was watching a couple of YouTube videos on 'being single' eg. Hannah Witton last week, after feeling incredibly lonely from watching nothing but couples. And I want to talk about this from my side. Because it tends to be like this 'I've been single for so long, like 6 months and I am not ready for another relationship so I'll wait.' Then two days later they are dating someone they have messaged on Tinder.

I have always been single. 23 years I have been on this planet and I am yet to experience the hype of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Everybody goes, 'awwwww...'

Not really a surprise is it, considering I was the size of a whale and had major social anxiety throughout my childhood/teenage years.

I have literally only had first dates, that either turn into rejection or prolonged periods of 'What the hell is this, is this even dating, oh no wait, for you just see me as a friend, FFS.' Had one kiss when I was 19, I was drunk and the guy was weird. Since then, my lips have not been pecked.

Does my asexuality play a big part in this? Absolutely.

Does it make me feel like an absolute loner and freak? Oh, definitely.

Yet do I want to be in a relationship? Maybe. Not really. Don't think I'll ever be ready for that! I mean, have you met me?!

You get different reactions to saying you're single, every 'single' time (see what I did there?!). From friends, family, associates...

'Why is that? You're easy to get on with, you're 'attractive', why are you single?'

'Are you gay? What's wrong with you?'

'Sure that special person is out there somewhere.'

'I miss being single. I had my own life and freedom back then.'

There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to being single, as there is with every single thing in life. I am sure there are many advantages and disadvantages to being in a relationship.

Advantages: No-one to boss you around, no major responsibilities. The world is your oyster if you're brave enough of course. If you want to go and visit that place, do it. You wanna pig out and eat junk food, do it. I need space for myself, especially after a shift at a workplace filled with people so I can look like an absolute mess. I have my own place, I can focus on my goals without having to second guess them in front of a partner.

Disadvantages: Loneliness and isolation, it's a bitch. I am a very maternal, emotional, family orientated person so I love couples & families from that perspective. A dream of mine will be to have my own family. Being a constant third wheel does take its toll after a while. The lonely nights in bed when all you dream about is having someone to comfort you and support you through really shitty times. Still being a minority in a world filled with couples.

I have always been independent in terms of keeping myself occupied, trying to cope with bullying from a young age meant I isolated myself from lots of people. It was rare that I had people who were good friends. Now I have a small group of friends that are really important people in my life. And of course, the majority of them are males. START THE RUMOUR TRAIN! CHOO CHOO!

I mean, the number of times I have had my male friends being called my boyfriend is just ridiculous really. Probably because 80% of them are gay but still, besides the point. It goes to that whole debate, can men and women be just friends? Of course, they bloody can.

So what do they offer singles so they can get out of the hole and be accepted in the dating/relationship world? Tinder. OkCupid. In my case as I am bi, Her. Which is filled with horny, sex-deprived people just wanting to touch you. Hello, I am asexual, that creeps the hell out of me. I would rather pull my hair out than go out with this creep. Goodbye. (P.s. - this is legit a message I got on OkCupid. Like Jesus Christ.)

Being single is hard, life is hard but hey, at least you can say you took on the world on your own. And you're still fighting. You go, girl friend or boy friend! See the spaces? They're important.