2009 Great Male Survey Roundup: Dating

Who is "the modern man"? He's not easy to identify, and attempts to do so typically descend into vague terminology like "macho" and "metrosexual." What we need is data — real, hard numbers — that provide insight into how contemporary men think and behave in their professional lives, during their down-time and over the course of their romantic relationships.

Fortunately enough, AskMen.com has that data. AskMen.com has that data because more than 50,000 of their loyal readers supplied it to them by participating in the 2009 Great Male Survey.

The results of our 2009 Great Male Survey present a fascinating picture of our gender’s perspectives on dating. For example, the survey suggests that men are a bit more traditional than one might expect. Most men are looking for their dream girl — 68 percent of them believe in a soul mate, and almost half that number believe they’ve actually found her. While the majority of men clearly want to have more sex than they are currently having, most of them are inclined to have that sex within a monogamous relationship.

While men want a lot out of a relationship — they want their partners to be loyal, caring and sexy — they’re also willing to sacrifice a lot for the right woman. Many appear to be seeking a fulfilling exclusive relationship, and they’re willing to spend time, money and effort to find and court the object of their desires.

Loyalty in Relationships

Turns out that the men who responded to the AskMen.com 2009 Great Male Survey place a high premium on loyalty. A sizable number of guys believe loyalty is the most important quality for women to have in a relationship. Chosen as the most important personality trait in a partner by 32 percent of men, loyalty beat out caring, a sense of humor and intelligence.

Moreover, 70 percent of men say it's not very or not at all likely that they would cheat on a partner — even if there were no chance she would find out about it. This emphasis on loyalty is consistent with other results in the Great Male Survey. Men are looking for quality women, women of character with whom they share common values and sexual chemistry, and once they find that woman, they’re willing to stick with her.

On the question of whether it’s OK for our partners to stay in touch with their exes, guys are split 50/50. Half of all men are either not at all comfortable with it, or not very comfortable with it. Guys are apparently more comfortable with imaginary liaisons, however, as 69 percent of them do admit to fantasizing about their girlfriend’s friends.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, our 2009 Great Male Survey reveals that men want more sex — a lot more. No less than 70 percent of men responded that they are either not at all or only somewhat satisfied with their sex lives — 19 percent said they are not at all satisfied. When asked about the one thing they would like to change about their partners, 24 percent of the men who responded cited her sexual appetite.

According to this year's Great Male Survey, 76 percent of men believe that couples with healthy sex lives have sex multiple times a week, but only 33 percent of men actually have sex that frequently, which means a solid 43 percent of the male population would be happier with a significant increase in sexual activity. Based on these statistics, it’s unsurprising that 96 percent of men consider sex to be important or crucial in a relationship.

Tradition in Relationships

When it comes to dating, the Great Male Survey suggests that men are a little more old-school than some might believe. Even in this troubled economy, a whopping 85 percent of men believe that it’s the man’s job to pay for dates — at least until a more permanent relationship is established.

And for those who characterize men as promiscuous commitment-phobes, the Great Male Survey shows that 75 percent of men both believe in the institution of marriage and want to be married one day. Further, 84 percent of men believe it's important that a girlfriend has "wife potential,” which means that when a man takes a woman out on a date, he’s not just thinking about getting her back to his place, he’s thinking about introducing her to his parents. On the whole, the AskMen.com Great Male Survey reveals that guys are looking for much more than just a good time. They’re more interested in Mrs. Right than in Mrs. Right Now.

Romance in Relationships

The fairer sex clearly hasn’t cornered the romance market. The 2009 Great Male Survey reveals that 68 percent of men believe they have a soul mate. That’s right, more than 2/3 of all guys believe in The One — and exactly the same percentage don’t consider it important that their wives sign a prenuptial agreement, which means that most men are marrying for love and marrying for life.

The 2009 Great Male Survey indicates that, if nothing else, men’s hearts are in the right place. For example, 81 percent of respondents claim they make an effort to be romantic with some regularity — either somewhat often or very often.

Survey Says

While every guy is different, The 2009 Great Male Survey shows us that the majority of men are looking for relationships with staying power; they’re looking for a woman with character and charisma — a soul mate with sex appeal. Finding all that in one package won’t be easy. Good thing AskMen.com is here to help.