Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Fit to be ClickedThe war on drugs seems to be heating up. Not satisfied with the raiding just gangs and organized crime, the DEA is now shaking down the terminally ill. I'm not sure if the DEA is somehow intimidated by real criminals or they just think the mellowed out elderly, the infirm and aids patients are an easy mark. Seeing as the DEA has so far declined to comment on the recent raids on the homes and businesses of medical marijuana activists and on the compassion clubs they support, I think they need to be reminded that Reefer Madness was not a documentary.On the topic of smoking, Health officials are all aflutter with the news that nicotine levels in cigarettes have been on the rise for the past 8 years. One big old 'Duh!' to them. After years of persecution from government and lobby groups, can one really be surprised that the industry retaliated by making their product more addictive then ever? But don't think more efficient smokes are necessarily a bad thing. I congratulate the tobacco companies environmental stewardship. More nicotine means you have to smoke less often to get your fix, thus reducing the risk of Cancer and taking pressure of the medical system, while at the same time lowering Carbon emissions from chain smokers helping governments meet their Kyoto commitments. This deserves an award. At least big tobacco hasn't found about this real live Tomacco yet!

In the animal world, a Chimpanzee named Teresa has had a virgin birth. While officials at the retirement home for out of work lab chimps are hesitant to call it a miracle, preferring the much more reasonable hypothesis that one of her male companions had a bad vasectomy, there really isn't evidence one way or another yet. Scientists at the reserve will be comparing DNA from the male chimps to determine who needs another snip. I can't help but wonder if Chimps are so endangered, why they are being sterilized?

Not satisfied with the current super bugs that we can't stop from killing people, scientists have revived the Spanish Flu for some odd reason. While it may be unpatriotic not to support our hard working lab animals, I think there is something a wee bit inhumane about infecting animals with a virus we already know leads to a painful death and then graphing the precise moment their lungs explode and they expire in a frothycrimson heap.The bright side to all this animal testing is that recently it has led scientists to find yet another cure for cancer that won't make money because it can't be patented and thus will never be marketed by drug companies.

On the Topic of Oprah, Forbes magazine is passing off as news something that even dogs already know, Oprah is richer then God. Unless of course, Oprah is God. In which case it's just bad taste on their part to write about her that way. On the topic of Oprah and God, it seems they've had a bit of a falling out. On the international scene, in an attempt to clean up its image after that whole genocide afair, Rwanda is scrapping the death penalty. Ironic yes, but better late then never I suppose.