A group of House Democrats released a letter Monday vowing to vote against Nancy Pelosi in the race for House speaker -- the first major, public warning shot from detractors of the California Democrat as they try to kneecap the longtime leader's bid for speaker and their most aggressive move yet.

Joyful Heart Foundation This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we announced a new campaign to share domestic violence survivors’ stories of healing and support. Using the hashtag #SupportAfterDV, we invited survivors in our community to share the ways they were best supported after their experiences on social media or through our anonymous online survey.Our IssuesDomestic Violence

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Joyful Heart Foundation Each October, we join hundreds of other organizations to recognize Domestic Violence Awareness Month. DVAM is an opportunity to deepen our understanding of these issues, share resources, and most importantly, support survivors.Our ProgramsHealingOur IssuesDomestic Violence

Joyful Heart Foundation At Joyful Heart, we know wellness can take many forms, especially for survivors and their loved ones. Tending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are all part of the healing journey. This year we’re joining other organizations to recognize September 26 as National Women’s Health and Fitness Day, an annual […]

Anonymous Editor’s note: A survivor’s decision to seek help or report a rape is a personal choice that belongs only to the survivor. Survivors’ bravery and credibility are not dependent on whether they choose to report an assault to authorities or not. All survivors are courageous; their reasons to share their experiences or keep it […]

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At Joyful Heart, we know wellness can take many forms, especially for survivors and their loved ones. Tending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are all part of the healing journey. This year we’re joining other organizations to recognize September 26 as National Women’s Health and Fitness Day, an annual event for women […]

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At Joyful Heart, we know wellness can take many forms, especially for survivors and their loved ones. Tending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are all part of the healing journey. This year we’re joining other organizations to recognize September 26 as National Women’s Health and Fitness Day, an annual event for women […]

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Joyful Heart’s website now offers Spanish-language resources to make our educational materials about sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse accessible to those who speak Spanish, including the more than 40 million Spanish speakers in the United States.One in three Hispanic women has experienced physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and one […]

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Big news. This year, We are competing in this year's LA2050 Challenge to win $100,000 to support our holistic healing programs that help survivors heal from sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse.With your support, we will evaluate and document our retreat model and create a replication plan for agencies in Los Angeles and beyond […]

September 21, 2018Associated PressAssociated Press NEW YORK — Mariska Hargitay thinks Law & Order: Special Victims Unit has played a huge role in educating people on sexual violence, but believes there is still a lot of work to do.The star of the TV drama spoke as the NBC show celebrated its 20th season Thursday at […]

September 21, 2018NBC Bay AreaLiz Lane Some of the most vocal proponents of the #MeToo movement and droves of other women have come to the defense of Christine Blasey Ford after President Donald Trump questioned her credibility and wondered why she didn’t report her sexual assault at the time she said it happened.In a slew […]

August 30, 2018Times of San DiegoKen Stone In late April, at the height of her successful campaign for district attorney, interim DA Summer Stephan announced she would spend $1 million to test 1,000 rape kits.By the end of August, only 200 kits will have been tested by Bode Cellmark Forensics, a private lab in Virginia, […]

August 29, 2018SF WeeklyIda Mojadad Through public records requests, End the Backlog estimates that more than 13,000 kits are sitting untested on the shelves of California law enforcement—but it still won’t have a complete number unless jurisdictions are mandated to have them. Read the original versionTags: Rape Kitsuntested rape kitsCalifornia

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Are You Aware of the Red Flags?

What are red flags? Red flags are warning signs that something or someone isn’t right. When it comes to domestic violence it is important for everyone to be aware of the red flags, and know how to get out before it is too late. The thing is, is that many men and women become blindsided and never see the warning signs, they never see the red flag waving in front of the abusers face.

How does someone become blindsided? They woo you, they charm you, and say all the things you want to hear, they buy you “just because” gifts. etc.

Are you aware of the red flags? Do you know what the red flags are? While reading, ask yourself if you see any of these warnings. Do you see these red flags in a family member or a friends relationship?The information below is found on http://www.caring-unlimited.org/.

Red Flags to Consider When Beginning a New Relationship

The following is a list of red flags for you to notice and pay attention to when dating someone or beginning a new relationship. Some of them are indicators that the relationship may become abusive. Others are positive indicators that you are becoming involved with an abuser. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you are dating an abuser.

Quick Involvement

6 months or less before living together/engaged

Claims of love at first sight

Says you are the only one who can make him/her feel this way

Pressures you for commitment

Unrealistic Expectations

Compliments you in a way that makes you seem superhuman

Very dependent on you for all needs

Expects you to be perfect

Says things like, I am all you need. You are all I need

Controlling Behavior

Advises you how to dress without your asking for advice

Pretends to be concerned for your safety or your productive use of time

Acts like you do not have the ability to make good decisions

Becomes extremely worried or angry when you are late

Constantly questions who you spend your time with, what you did/wore/said & where you went

Insists that you check in constantly

Monitors your phone/email

Makes you ask permission to do certain things

Jealousy

Wants to be with you constantly

Accuses you of cheating all the time

Follows you around or frequently calls during the day

Odd behaviors like checking your car mileage or asking friends to check in on you

Isolation

Tries to cut off all your resources

Puts down everyone you know: says friends are stupid, promiscuous, or accuses you of cheating with them; says family is too controlling, they don’t really love you, or you are too dependent on them

Refuses to let you use car or talk on the phone

Makes it difficult for you to go to school or work

Blames Others for Problems

If there are problems at school or work, it is always someone else’s fault

You’re at fault for everything that goes wrong in the relationship

Blames Others for Feelings

Makes you responsible for how they feel:

You made me mad.

You’re hurting me by not doing what I ask.

I can’t help being angry.

You make me happy.

You control how I feel.

Hypersensitivity

Easily insulted

Sees everything as a personal attack

Has a tantrum about the injustice of things that happen to him

Totally goes off about small irritations

Looks for fights

Blows things out of proportion

Disrespectful or Cruel to Others

Punishes animals/children cruelly

Insensitive to pain and suffering

High expectations of children beyond their abilities

Teases children or younger sibling(s) until they cry

Doesn’t treat other people with respect

Expects Control During Sex

Little concern over whether you want sex or not, & uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance

Makes sexual or degrading jokes about you

Rigid Sex Roles

Believes women are inferior to men

Unable to be a whole person without a relationship

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Sudden mood changes–like the person has two different personalities

One minute nice/next minute exploding

One minute happy/next minute sad

Past Battering

You may hear the person was abusive to someone else they were in a relationship with, they may deny it saying it is a lie or their ex is crazy/it wasn’t that bad

Breaking or Striking Objects

Used as punishment

Breaks cherished possessions

May beat on tables with fist

Throws objects at/around/or near you

Any Force during an Argument

Physically restrains you from leaving the room

Pushes or shoves you

For information on how to get help or how to help someone else, click here.

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3 thoughts on “Are You Aware of the Red Flags?”

I wish I’d had something like this a year ago. It would have helped me realize how toxic my relationship with my abuser was. I said yes to almost ever single red flag on this list.
Something that’s always gotten to me is the fact that abusers are always assumed to be men. The idea that I, a young female adult, was abused both emotionally and sexually by another young female adult is foreign to many. So few posts like these ever make room for the idea that abusers may be anything but male, most use masculine pronouns, furthering the generalization. I appreciate that you refrained from that, whether it was intentional or not. xxxxx
-Ivory

I appreciate your comment Ivory. I am so sorry you had to go through this experience.. No one deserves too. Truth is I always see how mostly men are the abusers as well, far too many times. I feel that internet my blogs I need to mention that women too can be abusers. And want to remind my readers as well..