Sorry Dearest

Over the years of marriage, there’s been one phrase you use more than any other: ‘I’m sorry.’ Unfortunately, the more often you say it, the less it seems to work. It’s a spell worn out through over-use. Time to get creative with your apologies. Here’s how:

Dinner: Tried and true, a good meal out, a night devoted to ‘just us two’ might just fit the bill. Make it a good one, too. Take her to her favorite place. Depending on the gravity of your offence, you might consider having a bottle of champagne waiting when you arrive.

Succumb happily: To whatever, really. Her girlfriend’s throwing a party? You can’t wait to go. She has her monthly book club? ‘Why don’t we host this time?’ you’ll say. Her sister’s coming to town? Of course she and her two miserable children can stay with you for aslong as they want. It’s painful now, but it may just save you from 20 years of agony down the line.

Weekend Trip: You know that place she’s always wanted to go? Forgotten for the moment? Sift through the vague recollections of the last few decades and figure it out. Then take her there, wherever ‘there’ may be.

Renew your vows: It’s overkill, sure. So reserve it for a really tight spot. If it does come to this, try and disguise your self-loathing at having stooped to such sentimentality. Keep this in mind as an incentive to behave yourself.