Giving Chernobyl a new glow

The public skepticism about Chernobyl as a tourist destination can be blamed on only one thing: bad marketing.
But the way I see it, the post-nuclear-explosion tourist industry lies virtually untapped - a tabula rasa just waiting for a visionary with a ruble and a dream.
So I’ve been working on some more effective slogans to help motivate the marketplace. We need something scintillating to stoke in the traveling class a burning desire to give fallout-tourism a try.
Something like:

We’re just getting warmed up here, so put on your Don Draper hat. You’ve got the Chernobyl account and we’ve got a sexy Ukrainian resort to build! Gift shops! Attractions! Hotels! Maybe a petting zoo? (The ants here are as big as ponies!)
Everyone to the thinking lounge, the comments are open!