Obama Says Cash to Iran for Hostages Just a “Coinkydink”

WASHINGTON – After getting busted for trying to secretly give $400 million to Iran in exchange for the release of four American hostages, President Obama said the appearance of caving to the demands of terrorists was just a “coinkydink.”

“I could stand here and give you a bunch of my usual mumbo jumbo, okie-doke,” the President said, “But the fact is, I had $400 million just sitting around the White House, and I was tired of tripping over it. But, let me be clear…….this money was used to buy the freedom of 4 fellow Americans, and is in no way any sort of ransom payment to my ayatollah friends in Iran.”

17 year-old White House spokesman Josh Earnest categorically denied the ransom label when confronted by reporters. “I would reiterate what the president has said, and what you all have read about this incident in the media. This is nothing more than another coinkydink, in a long line of coinkydinks, that have occurred more often during this president’s two terms than in any previous administration.”

Little Josh smugly continued, “The term ‘ransom’ implies that we bought off the Iranians, which is exactly what we’re saying we didn’t do. Our only regret is that we got caught. Will coinkydinks never cease?! Our policy towards dealing with terrorists is steadfast. The government of the United States does not negotiate in secret with terrorists. Only President Obama does that.”