You know, giving your readers a really big headache should not be on the top of your list of things to do.
Separate that block of text into defined paragraphs with a subject and structure. Use the Code also.
Use a lot more detail. All you seemed to do was tell us what the guy did. He went there, he did this. Well, you need to describe it so that its not all just dull and non-interesting. Get some material in there.
You have to use better grammar and punctuation as well.

Overall, it could have been good. But, lack of detail and proper writing skills took away from the whole thing. Work hard for your next._________________-MCC