My sister is a meth addict - Help

Eidden
06

My sister is a meth addict - time is running outI need all and any helpful information. My
sister is 33 years old and is a meth addict. She is a UCSB
graduate and went on to be a teacher. She since has lost her
job, about to loose her house, and is 90 pounds. She is showing
all the signs of meth use; hair falling out, blister type marks
on her face, hands, and stomach. She is like a walking skeleton
with only skin, and beyond recognition. She says that she does
not have a drug problem. She usually tells people she has a
disease that vary from cancer, and the latest is a thyroid
disease.

She is so frail, but yet speaks so sharp and comes across that
she is very intelligent. However, her looks tell a different
story. She has several episodes of crying and blaming my mother
for all the bad that has happened in her life. She has such hate
for my mother, that my mom stays away to avoid any problems with
her. However, it is so hard for my mom because she wants to
reach out and help her, but in my sister's eyes, she is the
enemy.

I currently have her 14 year old son living with me because he
couldn't take seeing his mom this way anymore. She also has a 7
year old daughter that is mostly with my mom. CPS got involved,
but did nothing.

I've done tons of research and over and over, the same message
is that she could only be helped when she wants. This is so hard
because she is beyond helping herself and will not admit to it.

Is there anything at all that could force her to get help, and
how long could her body really take this drug? There's almost
nothing left of her.

Replies...

Loraura

Re: My sister is a meth addict - time is running outIf she isn't suicidal, there isn't much you
can do to force treatment.

nine
years
clean

Re: My sister is a meth addict - time is running outHi. My name is Lori and I am a former meth
addict.
If I were you, I would contact an interventionist. She does not
have to die.

While it is true that an addict has to want help in order to
receive it, that doesn't mean you can't help raise her
bottom somewhat.

She is in denial. Denial is a delusional system that prevents
the addict/alcoholic from realizing the reality of their own
situation, and the reality that the dope/alcohol is what is
causing their problems. It isn't a willpower issue; it isn't a
conscious effort to deny; she isn't immoral. She is INCAPABLE of
seeing reality.

First, always speak with love and concern in your voice when you
speak to the addict about wanting to help. You should cite
specific incidents that lead you to believe there is a problem,
without judgment and without attacking the addict. And tell her
how those specific incidents made you feel.
Tell her what happened, how it made you feel, and what you did
about it.
For instance: At Mom's birthday party last week you were so high
you couldn't sit still and you weren't making any sense, and
then you picked a fight with Mom for no reason at all. This made
me feel hurt and sad, and there was nothing I could do to make
Mom feel better, so I just left because I didn't want to make
matters worse by fighting with you about it.

Couch your words in the overall message that you are trying to
save her life.

This is what I learned in a Chemical Dependency class I've
recently taken, which included teaching on how to conduct an
intervention.
The goal is to fracture that circle of denial the addict is
blanketed in, so that reality can seep into the addict's mind.
Once you can do that, the addict will begin to see the problem
for what it really is, and will be more open to accepting help.

That help should be already available and set up before you
approach an addict with intervention, so not one second of the
addict's willingness to get help is wasted.

Please seek the advice of a professional, however, because I am
only a recovering addict who is learning to become a substance
abuse counselor. I am NOT a professional.

Please don't give up. Her life is worth saving; the goal is to
help HER to see this.
You can direct her to this site, for a start.

My prayers are with you,

coffee
diva

Re: My sister is a meth addict - time is running outI am so sorry to hear about your sister.
It sucks to watch someone you love turn into a walking skeleton,
looking like they are at death's door. My husband is an addict.
He is about 4 months clean.

I wish I had some great advice for you to help her, but I don't.
When I first came here, they told me about the 3 C's:
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.

Keep learning all you can about the drug. SFJ has some great
info on his site, as does Lourara. Maybe print some of the info
out and leave it for her to find.

When someone is high they won't hear you. No matter how much we
scream and beg and plead. Sometimes, when they are coming down,
we see a little glimpse of them and can get through.

THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.