The One NECESSITY Every Parent ABSOLUTELY Needs

It’s been a long day. She doesn’t feel good. She is exhausted. Her brain hurts. Her body hurts. She works so hard everyday, working hard to support her family and tending to everyone other than herself, with only speckles of appreciation sprinkled upon her. She asked for this. She wanted this. She knew this is what it would be like. So, why is she complaining? Oh, wait…she’s not…at least not most of the time.

Most of the time she sits on her frustrations (and no, I am not referring to the kids). Most of the time she is hungry or hangry or both. Most of the time she is in need of a long, relaxing shower. Most of the time she happily, but slightly reluctantly, responds to each family member’s need, want and whine. Most of the time she gives more of herself to the day, and the people around her, than she was prepared for.

Who is she? She is a mother.

And, do you know what she needs from you? And you? And you?

She needs you to hug her. And, she needs you to hug her. And, she needs you to hug her.

* When she wakes up grumpy, with bags under her eyes, tell her she is beautiful…then hug her…she needs it.

* When she barks at you because she is rushing to get herself and everyone ready and out the door in time for school, help her…then hug her…she needs it.

* When she spends money that she shouldn’t be spending on her favorite Starbucks coffee, don’t complain about it…then hug her…she needs it.

* When the baby spills the milk all over the floor, for the fourth time, help her clean it…then hug her…she needs it.

* When she texts you throughout the day to vent her frustrations and share her challenges, listen and respond…then tell her you want to hug her…she needs it.

* When you come home and she is still in her morning clothes, looking ragged and worn, don’t judge her…then hug her…she needs it.

* When it looks like all she did all day was anything, but the laundry, dishes, clean and other housework — you may be right or you may be wrong — regardless, tell her you are proud of her…then hug her…she needs it.

* When she explodes on you and snaps at your attempt at adult conversation, recognize that she spends her whole day with tiny, misbehaving dictators…then hug her…she needs it.

And you know, it is not lost on me that, for him, it has been a long day too.

He doesn’t feel good. He is exhausted. His brain hurts. His body hurts. He works so hard everyday, working hard to support his family and tending to everyone other than himself, with only speckles of appreciation sprinkled upon him. He asked for this. He wanted this. He knew this is what it would be like. So, why is he complaining? Oh, wait…he’s not…at least not most of the time.

Most of the time he sits on his frustrations. Most of the time he is mentally spent. Most of the time he is in need of some time alone. Most of the time he happily, but slightly reluctantly, responds to each family member’s need, want and whine, including his wife’s. Most of the time he gives more of himself to the day, and the people in it, than he was prepared for.

Who is she? He is a father.

And, do you know what he needs from you? And you? And you?

He needs you to hug him. And, he needs you to hug him. And, he needs you to hug him.

* When he wakes up grumpy, with bags under his eyes and stress in his voice, tell him how lucky you feel to be with him…then hug him…he needs it.

* When he barks at you because he is rushing to get ready for work and spend a little time with the kids, forgive him…then hug him…he needs it.

* When he spends money that he probably shouldn’t be spending, on new electronic gadgets, understand that he works hard for his money and deserves to enjoy some of it…then hug him…he needs it.

* When the baby spits up on him as he walks in the door, encourage him to laugh about it…then hug him…he needs it.

* When he doesn’t answer your daily texts because he is at work, be understanding of the fact that he is busy and proud of the fact that he is such a hard worker…then tell him you want to hug him…he needs it.

* When he comes home and immediately changes into his comfy clothes and plops down on the couch, bring him a beverage and offer him a snack…then hug him…he needs it.

* When it feels like he is coming home and judging you for what you did or did not get done that day, take a step back and see that it is you judging you, not him…then hug him…he needs it.

* When he explodes on you and snaps at your attempt at adult conversation, recognize that he spends his whole day, in an office, away from his family, where he is forced to make adult conversation …then hug him…he needs it.

When all else fails and you don’t know how to respond…hug each other…you both need it.

Thank you again for your comment, Mica. Again, I do apologize for the delay in responding to your comment, as they were flagged as spam and I am just seeing them now! I totally appreciate your kind words and I am so glad you found the post relatable! 🙂

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Meet Nicole

I am genuinely and embarrassingly authentic. I feel every word and live every sentence that I write. I would love for you to co-travel with me on a journey through parenthood, marriage, and self-discovery.