"99 Problems"

"99 Problems (And A Glitch Is One)"

The Lyrics

I'll say it right now: I love Battlefield. I was excited about getting the full game, so I played the BF3 Multiplayer Beta on my PS3. My GOD, was it full of bugs. Still getting the game, though. Now that the Beta's over, we can all have a good laugh over the glitches and errors that were in the beta build, right? ...right?

If you're havin' beta problems, I feel bad for you sonIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is one

I got the stock M4 and I'm set to rollEngineerin' up in Operation MetroRush in the open beta we could download"Demo?" Wrong term, stupid, "beta," that shit ain't closedSo there's no wheels to roll in the beta, ohWell, still celebrating the minute we takin' controlThen I'm, "Wait, that guy just fell through the whole damn floor"And I try to jump over cover, I can't goUse the Recon's radio so I can spawn my homesThen I get my ass killed, see the underworldThe map spawns outta my bro's ass, whoa,Then half my squad is like, "Is this, like, server lag," of courseI don't know what you take me as, But understand the beta plays like a load of assI can understand that, haters, I ain't dumbIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

99 problems and a glitch is oneIf you're havin' beta problems, I feel bad for you sonI got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

I play with Assault, my AK and allTry to hold down bad guys, dodgin' shots from some dude's LAWI got two choices, y'all, revive my whole squad orBounce on the double, just head straight to the doorNow, I ain't tryin' to see no parkour chase in-game.Plus the M-COM's all busted, our defense is a shameSo I...run over to vault a fence made of stoneCan't move, like I'm not on the list, stopped at the doorThis wall can't be that tall, hip-height, it's real lowDo I look like I can't climb this thing? I don't knowSo I hop a few times, I must look like a dopeAnd that ain't doin' very much before I get flooredSo then now I'm starin' down the respawn countdown screenNow I'm carryin' an RPK and something ain't what it should seemI still see the filter fit on my gameplay a bitWell, no, I'm lying, it looks like my TV's gone to shitWell my screen's lookin' like it's locked this way, not unless I'm icedAnd I'm not about to suicide, 'cuz that just ain't niceMaybe I can just play like this, my BC2 skills show or somethin'I can still see, this filter ain't nothin'Nah, it's all black and white, and a blue filter (a bit)Enough that I can't legitimately see no shitI see how smart I am when I eat a gunIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

99 Problems and a glitch is oneIf you're havin' beta problems i feel bad for you sonIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

99 Problems and a glitch is oneIf you havin' beta problemsi feel bad for you sonIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

Now, once upon a time, 'fore the beta closedA gamer like myself had an M-COM to blowI was in control in the sense of seeing an openingAnd the thing would blow like July 4th that's what I was hopingI tried to advance, but I'm in for a shockOne Assault, pumped a mag in him, he won't dropMy game is tight, I'm aimin' down my sightsThen he just drops my ass, put up no fightThe only thing that's gonna happen is the game gets to crappin'Then his whole squad leaves, they zappin' off the map andMy boys go prone but something goes wrong againMy homie the Assault's stretched all long againWon't sleep tonight, damn SlendermanPS3 is just got the whole damn shaft againE.A. tried to give the beta out but thenThey gon' fix these bugs cause, hell, I can'tThis won't change my mind, not about this gameGonna play BF3, I'll buy it, man,But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how this beta's dumbI got 99 problems, glitches are every one.Hit me

99 Problems and a glitch is oneIf you're havin' beta problems i feel bad for you sonIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

99 Problems and a glitch is oneIf you're havin' beta problems i feel bad for you sonIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

99 Problems and a glitch is oneIf you're havin' beta problems i feel bad for you sonIt's got 99 problems and a glitch is oneHit me

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they
appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to
leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Little

Lots

Matches Pace ofOriginal Song:

How Funny:

Overall Score:

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing:

5.0

How Funny:

5.0

Overall Rating:

5.0

Total Votes:

2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

Pacing

How Funny

Overall Rating

1

0

0

0

2

0

0

0

3

0

0

0

4

0

0

0

5

2

2

2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.