Ask Bossy

Category: Weddings

Kate de Brito
–,
Monday,
July,
26,
2010,(9:05am)

Dear Bossy: I’m writing to you and your faithful followers as I need your help ( and I do that you and your followers will give your honest option) and Im losing sleep over this and I just want to rip out my hair!!!!!!

Where to start….ok a bit of back ground.. …my partner of 8 years, lets call him..Greg… Lovely guy..Will DO anything to help anyone..And is very excepting of everyone..( I come from what I can only put as a very colourful family to put it mildly…) and nothing really phases him, he was brought up very well ( hold the door open for ladies, help old people..Use your manners..As he has drilled that into our son..his big on politeness ..But he is not a door mat either.) You couldn’t ask for a better guy..Im very lucky to have him.

Greg has always found it hard to make friends as he was the fat kid and got bullied and teased from the age of 5 up until the age of 17.So Greg wasn’t very talkative, very shy and was in to computers so that was just more ammunition for the bullies very tall, fat kid with glasses that was a computer nerd.

But he did have one friend, Andrew. From grade 1 they were best friends, over each others house all the time and did all the things that best friends do growing up. Andrew was very out going and had a lot of friends and the girls loved him also. When Greg’s dad passed away when he was 11 and then his only brother/sibling passing away when Greg was 19 Andrew was always there for Greg, Greg always thought of Andrew as his brother and was always made very welcome with Andrews’s family. Andrews’s sister thinks of Greg as her brother.

So time went on and Greg became a father and Andrew got into a serous relationship and now is engaged to Melissa. Since Andrew and Melissa got together Andrew “Has never been the same.” Greg and Melissa get along fine with each other, so there is no hostility there. Andrew and Melissa were ALWAYS at our place every night until the got a place of there own (yes we worked out that Melissa wasn’t always welcome at Andrew place and vies versa..So hence why they were always at our place…and we felt some what used, but brushed it off as we enjoyed there company) Andrew would even stay at our place until 6am playing xbox with Greg after our son was first born.. they again became closer .Once they got there own place we would only see then once every 2-3 weeks.

Even though they both have busy lives and have drifted apart a little ,they always kept in contact..Recently Greg became team leader and got Andrew a job at his work. Greg always makes an effort to call and make time for Andrew but Andrew doesn’t, which upsets Greg a lot.

Ok so here’s the crunch. Andrew is marring Melissa this November and HAS NOT asked Greg to be apart of the wedding party. This inturn has upset Greg like you would not believe; his become very with-drawn and depressed and has even gained weight. His friend off 25 years is getting married and has chosen other friends over Greg..Friends that Andrew has been friend with for approx 5-6 years.

I asked Greg if he is ok..and his says “Im fine ..I don’t care..”

Ive known Greg for 8 years, I no when he is “Not fine..”

I just got off a call with Greg and he is at work with Andrew and two other friends having lunch… So Greg is going along pretending nothing is wrong, just to not upset Andrew… I told Greg “ F**k him I wouldn’t give him the time of day now…” but still he continues to act as if nothing is wrong..

I DO NOT want to attend this wedding, and I NO NOT want Greg to, but I can not make that decision for him. I asked him “ Why don’t you ask Andrew why he did not pick you” and Greg’s answer was
“Because I don’t want to no the answer” Greg was holding back tears and then walked off to have some time alone…

I don’t think people with a lot of friends understand how a person with one friend really feels when it comes to stuff like this.

So my question is do I make the choice for us not to go in protest of how much of a shi*ty friend Andrew is and how de doesn’t deserve a friend like Greg, or do we/ I suck it up and go for Greg’s sake if that is the choice he makes???

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