List of Paraprosdokians, Paraprosdokians List

What are Paraprosdokians?

Paraprosdokian is not an Armenian writer or football coach but a figure of speech characterized by an abrupt change of direction at the end. It is a phrase that intentionally leads us down the garden path, that misleads us into thinking one way, then suddenly ending on an unexpected twist. Stand-up comedians who like one-liners use lots of them because the setup and punchline are all in a single line. Here are some examples that we’ve gathered from various sources.

There but for the grace of God goes God. —Sir Winston Churchill, a comment on Sir Stafford Cripps, British socialist philosopher

Two wrongs don’t make a right—but three lefts do.

Now, you take my wife . . . PLEASE! —Henny Youngman

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

War does not determine who is right—only who is left.

The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot: he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify . . . ,” I put “DOCTOR”.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” written on it…so I said “Implants?”

Americans choose between two people for president but among fifty for Miss America.

Behind the rise of every successful man stands a woman and behind the fall of every successful man is another woman.