Beantown Beatdown

One essential qualification for calling yourself a real Miami Heat fan is pure, unequivocal hatred of the Boston Celtics. Between Kevin Garnett’s need for touching other players’ private parts and Paul Pierce’s weird chipmunk face, the Celtics are the Heat’s most disliked rivals. Heading into the final matchup of the year, the Heat has a 2-1 record against the Celtics, and the last time the two teams met up, LeBron James killed Celtics guard Jason Terry with one of the sweetest dunks we’ve ever witnessed.
Currently the seventh seed in the Eastern Conference, the Celtics have arguably underperformed this year. Heat fans like to think the Celtics are as bad as Miamians always hoped they would be. There is a small chance the eighth-seeded Milwaukee Bucks can overtake Boston, meaning the top-seeded Heat would face the Celtics in the first round. For now, we’ll just have to make do with four games to go in the regular season and another beatdown of a team for which we wish only the worst.
Fri., April 12, 7 p.m., 2013