YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, I WON A FRIGGIN SUPER BOWL! I’M GONNA STAY UP SOOOOO LATE TONIGHT, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW! MOM’S GONNA MAKE HOT CHOCOLATE FOR ME AND MOISHE, BUT NO MINI MARSHMALLOWS, THAT’S KIDS STUFF. IT’S ALL BIG BOY MARSHMALLOWS FROM NOW ON! HEY MOM, I’M RENTING SUPER MARIO GALAXY AND ROCK BAND FOR WII. YOU CAN PLAY THE DRUMS, BUT THIS TIME I’M MAKING THE TOSTINOS PIZZA ROLLS!

NO.FREAKING.WAY. I GET A CAR TOO?! HEY MOM, WE HAVE TO GO GET MY LEARNER’S PERMIT TOMORROW. THEN THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER. AS LONG AS YOU’RE IN THE CAR I CAN DRIVE ANYWHERE! NEXT WEEKEND WE CAN GO TO THE ANTIQUE AUCTION IN BELLE MEAD!

[Eli is handed tickets to Hawaii]

WHAT, THEY HAVE A PRO BOWL NOW? THIS YEAR KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!

I was all for the haterade when it was against the Pats, but now that it’s against the Giants I find it grossly untasteful and unseemly. Come on, you guys, be happy for us! We’re the greatest city in the world!

02.04.08 at 3:13 pm

Miyamoto's Chin

Big boy marhsmallows, indeed.

02.04.08 at 3:18 pm

Raskolnikov

It’s even boring to fly over!

02.04.08 at 3:19 pm

futuremrsrickankiel

“Gee whillikers — I bet that girl who sits in front of me in algebra will DEFINITELY go with me to the sock hop now. Second base, here I come!”

/tries to hate Eli

/fails

02.04.08 at 3:32 pm

hi there mary

Mom!!! When I get my ring I want you to bury it in the sandbox and then I can play treasure hunt!! Maybe I can find those Pogs we buried last week, too!

02.04.08 at 3:33 pm

Matt

Someone check David Tyree’s helmet for super glue.

/still in denial that shit actually happened

02.04.08 at 3:33 pm

clueheywood

Now that I won the Super Bowl, I can go to a movie on a schoolnight like that (snaps fingers).

02.04.08 at 3:37 pm

Christmas Ape

I’m gonna go swim in the deep end! By myself!

02.04.08 at 3:37 pm

futuremrsrickankiel

“Plus, my mom says I’m the handsomest guy in school!”

02.04.08 at 3:39 pm

dick_gozinia

I call shenanigans. They don’t make Rock Band for the Wii.

02.04.08 at 3:46 pm

Unsilent Majority

and i would have known that if i was a total fucking nerd

02.04.08 at 3:49 pm

Otto Man

But his mom thinks he’s cool….

02.04.08 at 3:52 pm

Kyle321N

I said as soon as Eli got the car that he was so happy to actually have his first car. I didn’t think that he’d still need his permit

02.04.08 at 4:01 pm

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective)

Maybe Peyton will give him his Teddy Ruckspin back now.

02.04.08 at 4:01 pm

Leaking Geek

I’ll bet he keeps his #18 Colts Underoos…as long as he can cut the feet out.

02.04.08 at 4:02 pm

Dr.VanNostren

Hmmm, pizza rolls are cool, but they are no jalapeno poppers.

-Reggie Nelson

02.04.08 at 4:04 pm

Francois Leroux Speedskater

Now that he’s found some success, Eli can finally give up the paper route.

02.04.08 at 4:11 pm

Otto Man

“Thinkin’ about the muscly-armed paperboy. Wishin’ he’d come by and bring me some good news!”

02.04.08 at 4:17 pm

Rant_Casey

Mom! Did you tape the superbowl over my Dragonball Z tape?!?!

02.04.08 at 4:32 pm

chronic hobbit

There’s a whole package of Double Stuf and a gallon of milk with my name on it!

/dsrl champion

02.04.08 at 4:44 pm

Big Daddy Drew

Let’s stay up late and tell ghost stories!

02.04.08 at 4:45 pm

Marmatard

AND I CAN PULL THEM OFF AND ON

02.04.08 at 4:49 pm

king of pants

Meanwhile, as Tom Brady buries his sorrows in Gisele Bundchen’s silky vaginal walls, Eli Manning attempts to figure out how to use a Fleshlight, and whether or not merely possessing it is a sin.

02.04.08 at 5:00 pm

Dr.VanNostren

HAHAHAHAHAHA

+1 King of Pants

for using Fleshlight, not that I know what that is!

02.04.08 at 5:03 pm

Big Tex

doesn’t eli get awarded the rights to gisele now?

02.04.08 at 5:11 pm

Upstate Underdog

Eli can’t wait to put that Super Bowl champs bumper sticker on his new car.

02.04.08 at 5:33 pm

Squatch

“Hey, Mommy! Look! When I touch it, it grows.”

02.04.08 at 5:33 pm

J

And today, Eli broke out his brand new Superman underoos to celebrate.