There are times when I think my parents must have been pros at sleep training because there is nothing I like more than a nap on the couch! From a dad’s perspective, sleep training is the period when a baby stops falling asleep before being put down because they’re learning to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own — and it’s as important to baby as it is to parents!

I have friends who admit to rocking their son to sleep every night and now that they’re sleep training, they’re ready to pull their hair out. I can’t help but think “No wonder you’re havingtrouble.”

We started with a routine — bath, fresh pajamas, a story, and off to bed. For my younger kids, we even included a song and a walk around the room so we could say “good night” to all the animals. But once it was time for bed — we knew we had to be firm about the routine. As a dad, I personally love the routine and it works best for me.

I tell my new-parent friends that are just starting to sleep train to read as many books on different strategies as they can — and encourage them to not be afraid to ask around to see what worked for other suggestions. I’d also tell them to brace themselves — sometimes it gets ugly before it gets better. And as parents, they should remember to support each other. If you can hold each other back from running in the room at the sound of baby’s first cry, the clock will switch the other direction,and after a few nights they may only cry to 1-2 minutes or not at all. They’ll get used to the routine and learn to be excellent sleepers (and you’ll get some much deserved shut-eye too!).

Our 8-month-old seems to really love her bed. We have a very quick routine and we both know what to expect — it makes bedtime easy on all of us.

As a dad, I do not relish the idea of taking my wife’s diaper bag out to the park when I am on baby patrol. Why? To me, her bag is filled with things I don’t think I’ll need when we’re away from home and secondly, it’s too big and too floral! Even though my wife has saved us plenty of times with her Mary Poppins bag of tricks, it’s not necessarily the bag I want to take with me when I’m out with the kids.

Dad’s like to call it a pack, not a bag, because dads are good packers. We pack the car, sports equipment and (sometimes) lunches. A pack we can handle, a diaper bag, we can’t. Since we aren’t used to carrying bags on our shoulders, we aren’t very good at it. We look awkward and uncomfortable and occasionally, we tend to drop items whenever we pick it up (sorry).

When I pack my diaper pack, it is usually for a temporary and scheduled period of time, so the items inside are very straightforward and calculated.

Here’s what I keep inside:

Two diapers – one for a 2-3 hour change, and one for a blow out. If I experience more than one blow out, I will ask a mom for a loaner, or I will improvise.

One change of clothing per child — only shorts and a shirt.

One snack per child

One toy per child

One bottle of water per child

One pack of wipes

One disposable changing pad

A bottle of sunscreen

A small first aid kit containing bandaids and antibiotic ointment

I always make sure there is a wipeable pocket for “wet or soiled” clothing and I make sure I have plenty of zippered compartments and clips so that everything I will need is easily accessible. I know where everything is within my Diaper Pack because each item has a place – and I packed it there.

I can throw my Diaper Pack over my shoulders, pick up the little guy, and hit the road — to the beach, park, or for a drive — and feel confident knowing I have what I need to keep my kids happy and enjoying life.

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Why I’m Glad I Learned How to Be a Good Daddy Before Baby Arrivedhttp://blog.thebump.com/2013/07/17/why-im-glad-i-learned-how-to-be-a-good-daddy-before-baby-arrived/
http://blog.thebump.com/2013/07/17/why-im-glad-i-learned-how-to-be-a-good-daddy-before-baby-arrived/#commentsWed, 17 Jul 2013 18:26:19 +0000http://blog.thebump.com/?p=17589]]>

When my wife was pregnant with our first child, she had a stack of books on her bedside table all about what to expect, when to expect it, how to prep for motherhood, and other books to help inform her of the details and phases of pregnancy and what she may or may not be experiencing at that particular time in her trimester.

I, on the other hand, had nothing on my bedside table until one day, a parenting book appeared that my wife had purchased for me. At first, I so was opposed to reading this book or any book for that matter. Maybe I was scared of reality; maybe I thought it was going to be too complicated, or maybe I thought if I read the book I would have to do more work to prepare for my new family. Five months into my wife’s pregnancy, I dusted off the books and started reading and reviewing.

It was time to educate myself. I wish I had a GPS that would simply say, “turn left in 200 feet”, but there was absolutely no one telling me what to do next. No one sharing tips on how to support my wife, how to listen to her, understand why she needed 12 pillows on the bed, why she was craving such weird foods and just why she always had to pee!

I read the books — but my advice is to take it one step further and actually start prepping yourself for baby’s arrival. Enroll in parenting classes. Start going to meetings. Take a Daddy Boot Camp class. Go to Pregnancy Conventions. Plan the Ultimate Prenatal Date Night. Ask for advice from Dad Panels. Plan a Dadchelor Party. Do not enter the world of pregnancy and first-time fatherhood without reading the directions in advance and understanding where exactly the road is going to be taking you.

Having a baby will be the hardest, and most rewarding challenge your life choices will bring you. When your wife becomes pregnant, embrace the moment, and be ready for your life to change forever.

Why is it that everyone wants to give my kids sugar? They go to the doctor and are rewarded with a lollipop. They go to a birthday party, experience a sugar fest, and then are sent home with another bag of candy as a party favor. Aunts, Grandmas, family and friends want to give my children “sweets” of all types as a gift or a present. I’ll admit: I’m as guilty as everyone else. Sometimes it feels like the easy way out — thankful that my kids are at least eating something (even if it’s not my first choice meal). But at the same time, there would be no fight if the child were taught proper eating from the beginning.

Have you ever looked at the side of the so-called “food” we are giving to our children and counted the total grams of sugar in a day that are consumed? In the morning, a glass of juice can loaded with upwards of 29 grams, pancakes with are swimming in syrup. Then off to lunch where my son’s squeeze yogurt is bogged down with added sugars; his pre-packaged fruit snacks are just as bad. And the list just continues. Some children will consume hundreds of grams of sugar each and every day.

Lets truly think about sugar. When mom is pregnant and trying to eat healthy, “hundreds of grams” of sugar are not on the “good to eat list.” When looking up diets and weight loss you never encounter a diet centered around consuming sugar. That would not be healthy, so why create this diet for our children? Carbohydrates are secondary to sugar as they are mostly converted to sugars in the system, and the number one food source next to sugar for children is carbs (bread, muffins, bagels, macaroni and cheese, cheese by itself, crackers and other processed foods). A diet of carbs and sugars is doing nothing more than stunting the overall potential growth and ultimate health of the child.

My three-year-old is already addicted to sugar and I am hoping there is a fighting chance for my 5-month-old daughter. Yes, we all live through the first decade of life eating more sugar than any other food group, but does that mean it is the right choice? There are no studies for me to call up, but could you imagine children that ate 100% healthy from day one? I imagine that would lead to fewer diseases, longer livelihoods and better learners.

As a dad to 7 children I encourage all of us, myself included, to try to change our ways, and the ways of others to eliminate sugar and processed foods from not only our diets as adults, but to also give our children a new outlook on life and help them learn the importance and values of healthy eating and living.

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Why Adults Should Change Their Behavior When Kids Are Around (Even If They’re Not the Parents!)http://blog.thebump.com/2013/06/25/why-adults-should-change-their-behavior-when-kids-are-around-even-if-theyre-not-the-parents/
http://blog.thebump.com/2013/06/25/why-adults-should-change-their-behavior-when-kids-are-around-even-if-theyre-not-the-parents/#commentsTue, 25 Jun 2013 17:08:44 +0000http://blog.thebump.com/?p=16931]]>

As an adult, I love to watch new shows on HBO, Showtime and other cable TV networks. I know that if I miss a season, I can download it to my laptop or iPad and watch all the episodes at my own leisure. It’s perfect for those nights when all the kids are asleep on time and I can finally relax! As an adult, I think the shows are great. I love watching Nip Tuck, Boardwalk Empire, Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, Homeland Security and so many others, but the sex scenes appear so quickly and frequently that they seem to be absorbed by my brain as just part of the show. So as a parent, I think the shows push the limits way too far.

Last week, my family (my wife, our 3-year-old son, our 2-year-old son and our 5-month-old baby girl) were coming back from vacation on a plane. As it happened, my 3-year-old son was sitting in the aisle seat. With an aisle seat, you can get a pretty clear view of other passenger’s laptops, especially when they’re opened up and in use. Plus, my son is still a kid — so a shiny light-up screen is totally going to grab his attention! He was watching a girl, most likely in her twenties, play a video game on her computer. She was one seat to the left and one row forward from my son, so he had a clear view of her screen and was watching intently. Of course it wasn’t an ideal situation, but the video game was pretty PG; so it seemed alright to me and I closed my eyes to rest for a few minutes.

I felt my son acting a little more fidgety in his seat, so I glanced over at him and noticed him still staring intently at the young woman’s computer screen. I happened to glance over at the woman’s computer screen again only to see a scene of two people having wild sex on a desk in an office. They were completely naked and to a 3-year-old, it likely looked as if the man was attacking the woman. I didn’t know what to do. We were thousands of feet in the air with absolutely nowhere to go. I couldn’t take him away from the situation so I tried to distract him. Eventually, we coaxed him into switching seats (so he could look out the window!) and that solved the problem.

But, here’s my issue: Should we be allowed to watch them whenever and wherever we please without taking into account who is around us, who might be offended and who may not comprehend the images they might happen to see? If I was a single, childless adult, I would think it perfectly acceptable; however, as a dad, it infuriates me.

Do you think adults should change their behavior when kids are involved?

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Ways for Dads to Overcome Their Fears and Get Comfortable With Babyhttp://blog.thebump.com/2013/04/26/ways-for-dads-to-overcome-their-fears-and-get-comfortable-with-baby/
http://blog.thebump.com/2013/04/26/ways-for-dads-to-overcome-their-fears-and-get-comfortable-with-baby/#commentsFri, 26 Apr 2013 20:08:33 +0000http://blog.thebump.com/?p=15954]]>

I know a lot of dads that feel nervous, anxious about holding, feeding and bonding with baby during those first few months together. I was one of those dads, too. I wanted to make sure I did everything right, but to be honest, it was terrifying. Spending that special time with one another, though, is so important and you’ll be so glad you did it. So before (and after!) baby makes his debut, here are a few ways you can get comfortable with your little guy:

1. Get talking! While the baby is still in the womb, start talking to him or her. Whenever you have the chance, talk to the baby because it is the sound of your voice, more so than what you are saying, that is important.

2. Fake it ’til you make it… literally. Before baby comes, practice holding an infant. Maybe it’s your niece or nephew or maybe you’re just holding a sack of blankets in your arms. Get comfortable with it! And when baby does finally arrive, hold him a lot. Any chance you have to hold the baby, take it. If mom is done breastfeeding, if the baby is waking up in the middle of the night, if you just came home from work, take your baby in your arms. It’s your time together. The more time you spend wrapped up in each other, the more baby will learn your hold a and feel your confidence.

3. Ask to change baby’s diaper.Seriously, dads — ask! It may not be the most pleasant smelling experience, but it’s another opportunity to spend time with baby.

4. Pay attention and you’ll be surprised how quickly baby pays attention to you! Your child will watch you and learn from you from the day they are born to the end of their lives, so just imagine that you are the star of your own reality TV show, and everything you do is being broadcast in high definition to your new baby. Pretty cool, huh? Some of my favorite moments with my children came between the ages of 18 months and 3 years!

5. Laugh together. I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun this is. Finally, someone to laugh at every joke you make regardless of whether or not it’s actually funny! It’s one of the most magical parenting experiences to hear your baby laugh for the very first time.

The bottom line is: get engaged with your children and babies from day one. There’s plenty to do! Enjoy every phase, moment and experience. You’ll be so glad you did!

There are some parents who do not believe in traveling with small children because they think that they won’t remember the trip, or maybe there’s too much to pack, or sleeping with a baby in tow might be difficult — or maybe they’re worried it’s too expensive. But then there are the other parents, like me, who love to travel with their children.

I think that these trips we take together help to build life long foundations with deep emotional roots and memories. My wife and I have traveled often with our kids, from inexpensive road trips, driving up the coast and staying in small motels or camping, to flying across the ocean to Hawaii, and we’re happy to say that every trip has been wonderful – in one way or another. We’re raising our three-year-old, two-year-old, and 4-month -old to be great travelers.

Treat your trips as though the journey together is more important than the final destination. Teach them that the experience of going somewhere together matters just as much as the actual destination or vacation. Riding on a shuttle bus, an airport transport train, an airplane, a boat, or even just walking through large crowds and experiencing all the different sights, sounds, and types of people in the world matter so much to a child. Being there to experience with them? It’s priceless.

When we travel with our kids, we start talking about it and planning for it weeks in advance. We collect special books and toys and we discuss the things we’ll do. I think it is important to help set expectations and then review them once they actually happen. So we talk about going to the beach and the pool and about how we are going to fly there in an airplane; we discuss what things we need to pack and what items are important to bring with us. If we are flying and we pass a pilot walking through the airport we point him or her out and talk about their job and duties with our children; we do the same with TSA officers, airplane workers, and others.

Traveling with young children can definitely be hard at times — but you have to remember that you’re not going on an adult trip or vacation; there may not be any cocktails by the pool, but it’s going to be great nonetheless. It is a time to truly help grow and build your family bonds and in the end create a lifetime of travel and memories.

One of the hardest challenges I face every day is the addictive desire to check my phone while I am with my kids. It seems I’m not alone, though. I see parents at the park, in the grocery store and at the library reaching for their phones.

I am talking about texting, emailing, and even making phone calls. I am horribly guilty of this; I see other people look at their phone, and I instinctively get a craving to check my own. It’s seems we’re all addicted: when the kids watch TV, parents watch their phones; when the kids play at the park, parents play on their phones.

The question we all have to ask ourselves is: how will this new technology and cell-phone reliance affect our children nowand in the future? How will our actions today reflect on our kids in the future? Would you want your kids checking their phone, texting, updating social media, etc. while you are talking to them? Will we all be sitting at our dining room tables’ texting instead of talking in the years to come?

I believe we all likely need to nip this habit in the bud and start focusing in on what’s really important — our kids. Instead of playing on our phones while our kids play at the park we should be fully engaged and playing together: in the dirt, on the play sets – learning together and bonding together.

But I’ll be the first to admit this is difficult to do. I sometimes have to force myself to put my phone down and leave it on my dresser when I know it is time for me to give my kids my undivided attention. I know that if I want my kids to be engaged with me when they are older teens, and young adults, I must be engaged with them now.

Bottom line: the phone is not always your friend, and you don’t always need to respond to texts and emails as quickly as they come in; people can wait.

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The Biggest Daddy ‘Secret’ Ever Will Make All Moms Proud of Their Partners!http://blog.thebump.com/2013/03/14/the-biggest-daddy-secret-ever-will-make-all-moms-proud-of-their-partners/
http://blog.thebump.com/2013/03/14/the-biggest-daddy-secret-ever-will-make-all-moms-proud-of-their-partners/#commentsThu, 14 Mar 2013 20:41:45 +0000http://blog.thebump.com/?p=13787]]>

After 50 years of life and 7 babies, I now feel confident that I know what I need to do to help my wife when the baby is crying in the middle of the night. It’s a big daddy secret, but I’m willing to share.

This daddy secret is one that will help when your baby or toddler cries in the middle of the night. Maybe he’s hungry, needs a diaper change, a hug, a glass of water, or a quick “monster check.” No matter the case, remember my big daddy secret for success (because you’re going to need it!).

So, dads, when your crying baby awakes you in the middle of the night while you’re cocooned so comfortably and tucked in warm blankets, floating on a soft bed with a comfortable pillow perfectly cradling your head, what do you do?

Most new parents will slowly — very slowly — look over at the other to see if baby has awoken them, too. This is the moment of truth, or rather, the moment of unconditional love. It is not a scorecard; not the time to “fake out” your spouse and pretend to stay asleep asleep. It is time to be the daddy that you are — the daddy you imagined you’d be while waiting for baby for 9 months. I am sure you have heard the phrase, “any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy”. Well, now’s your chance.

Dad, this is your moment. Do not lay in bed moaning and groaning, (and whatever you do, DO NOT! pretend to sleep). Get out of bed before your wife does and go get the baby! It’ll make all the difference in the world, trust me.

I can only tell you this from experience. It took me until baby number seven to truly learn the benefits of waking in the middle of the night and bounding to the rescue of my kids. And I’ve been reaping the benefits ever since!

Last night, the realization totally hit me: spending time with my kids reinforces and reminds me of my own important life values.

I got home from work last night and my sons were on the floor playing with their Legos and trying to build towers. I jumped right down there with them on the floor and started discussing what they were doing and handing them Lego pieces. My son, Lincoln, who is 3 years old, is quicker with his building, but my son, Carter, age 2, is more thoughtful.

And then it happened — without any more consideration than just playing together, this dad and son moment became bigger than I ever imagined.

I am not sure how many of you watch Agent Ozo on Disney, but the gist of each story is that Agent Ozo must complete a task with his secret agents while at the same time being called out to a mission to help a child in need. While helping the child, he realizes how the helpful message he gives the child will also help him solve his challenge with the secret agents.

While sitting there with my boys I said, “Now remember, the taller and greater the tower, the more fragile it becomes; the base or foundation must be large enough to support the growth or else each time it will tumble.” I instantly thought of my work, my business, my family life and it made me realize that we often teach our children with the most simplest of tools and moments; while building Legos, we are in fact teaching important concepts and values that will last a lifetime.

There are so many more messages that could apply to the Lego building last night: “Never give up”, “Try, Try Again”, “Learn to Share”, “Compliment Others on Their Work”, “With Thought and Focus – You can always go ONE block higher”. The teachable moments were endless.

I woke up this morning, gave my wife a huge good morning kiss, made pancakes for my boys, and went to work fired up and ready to tackle another day.