Thursday, September 18, 2014

Pregnancy Week by Week: Weeks 2, 3, 4

Several people have asked me if I was going to document this pregnancy as I did for Little Fix-It. While I knew I wanted to do something a little different, I wasn't sure exactly what that meant. After the miscarriage in March, I felt very reluctant to take weekly bump photos. In fact, I had a lot of anxiety during the first trimester. My OB, who I've mentioned loving a million times, offered to see me biweekly as she knows pregnancy after loss can be especially difficult. Even still, I bad stomach ache had me on the brink of tears not knowing if it was in fact a stomach ache or a miscarriage. So, in truth, I spent a bit of time actively not getting attached. Before every test, every ultrasound, every appointment, I was physically ill. Maybe it was a hint of morning sickness, but really, my nerves were shot.

Lucky for us, at every turn, things looked perfect. My beta numbers were off the charts. (For those of you that know HCG Betas: 1,441 at 12dp5dt. 3,151 at 14dp5dt. 7,000+ at 15dp5dt.) We heard heartbeats at 5 weeks, both above 100. The babies and their gestational sacs measured as they should, if not a day or two ahead. Everything was completely different than it had been a few months before. Even with all that reassurance, I was still scared.

The answer about documenting this pregnancy became "Eventually. Life is so crazy with selling our condo and trying to move!" It was true. But I also felt superstitious. 8 weeks became 12. Then 12 became 15. Time started to disappear.

So here I sit at 19 weeks, with a ever-growing bump. And two babies on the way. And a realization: I've been documenting this pregnancy all along. I wanted to do something different. I'll catch you up 3 weeks at a time!

37 comments:

This post has me in tears, not only because I am SO happy for you but also because you give me such hope. Actively TTCing for 2 years, 2 MCs in 1st year and now a whole year has passed with no BFP. Whenever I feel down I'm just going to come to your blog and know there is still hope! xoxo

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