Former Chiefs running back Larry Johnson is being sued in Kansas City by a woman who says he spat on her in a bar. But Johnson says he needs to move the trial out of Kansas City because it would be impossible to find 12 people there who don’t despise him.

Johnson’s lawyer, Jack T. Bangert, told a judge Wednesday that folks in Kansas City hate his client with such a passion that he could never get a trial in front of an impartial jury there.

“If we can’t get a change of venue in this case, it is insurmountable,” Bangert said. “We want to go anywhere but here.”

Bangert showed the judge newspaper articles, web posts and affidavits from two talk-show hosts, all attesting to how much Chiefs fans hate Johnson.

However, the plaintiff’s lawyer says those concerns are overblown, and that Johnson isn’t as famous (or infamous) in Kansas City as he thinks he is.

“We all know people in Kansas City who are not Chiefs fans who have never heard of Larry Johnson,” lawyer Charles Speer said.

The judge will rule later on whether Johnson is really so despised in Kansas City that the case has to be moved elsewhere.

Please. We all know you had the foresight to create this joke account 3 years before you actually joined under your real username and 2 years before the Chiefs drafted LJ. Just ****ing 'fess up already.