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Friday, March 29, 2013

“Are you a lesbian?” A friend of mine once asked me
mockingly when we were discussing about my aversion from some (“some” not
“all”) kind of men.

“No. But does it matter?” I asked her scornfully.

No, I wasn’t bothered that I was asked a question about my
sexuality. But what I didn’t understand was that is being a lesbian a matter to
be jeered about? What if I was one? Wouldn’t I be hurt and embarrassed that my
sexuality was just mocked at? Why are the words “gay” or “lesbian” used as
slangs?

Another incident, that took place a couple of years back,
was when I was teasing two girl friends of mine, accusing them of having an
affair. I considered it as normal as teasing a guy and a girl. One of them
found it so disrespectful that she, instead of simply denying the fact, chided
that she isn’t of such “third class” standard. I later discussed the small
argument that we had, with her, trying to make my point that being a lesbian or
a transgender doesn’t define anyone’s class or standard. Maybe my point wasn’t
explained clearly enough. After a few minutes of a heated up conversation, we
both agreed to the fact that perceptions vary and it was wrong on my part to
tease them.

Now my question just changed to why are the words “gay” or “lesbian”
interpreted as slangs?

There’s absolutely nothing embarrassing about liking someone
of the same sex. We all have different needs – physical, emotional, etc. While
some women require a man to protect them, to understand them and to pamper
them, there are women who feel like they’re understood only by other women and
they find love in them. Same is the case with some men who do not get as
excited looking at a woman as they get while looking at a man. It’s as natural
as anything else nature has created. And above all, it’s not a curse, unlike
what most people think, it can even be a choice, a way of life.

It’s sad that even after 4 years of homosexual-intercourse being
decriminalized in India, people still look at such couples with disgust and/or
wonder. The reason, if there is one, they are treated as outcasts is something
I never understood.

It was a few months back when my father was asking about a childhood
friend of mine whom he last met a couple of years ago. “He’s doing well, Dad.
He just got engaged with a guy named David Brooks who is a manager in a bank.”

I understood that it was very hard for my parents to realize
the fact that my friend was gay. It was when they pitied on him, that I
explained to them, for almost an hour, why it isn’t a thing to be pitied upon.
“He is happy with the way he is. He doesn’t desire for any different life, just
like I don’t want to be born as a boy or to be born in any other family.”
Although it took some time, but finally, they understood.

Later that night I was narrating the day’s events to another
friend of mine and he almost jumped off his chair at what I said.

“You have a gay friend?” He asked.

“Not one, but many.”

“Wow. Tell me his name. I want to know who he is.”

I didn’t get it what was there to wow about.

“Why? Are you interested? But like I said, he is already in
a relationship” was my reply.

Because people consider homophiles as something “unusual” or
“museum-material”, the latter are shy to declare their sexual orientation
openly. As a result, many live an unsatisfied life with a partner of the
opposite sex, living what people call a “normal” marriage. Consequently, the
lives of both the husband and the wife are affected. There are such marriages,
I have read, in some metropolitan cities in our country, where the husband
willingly let’s her wife be with another woman in the day when he’s away, after
realizing about her bisexuality. Some marriages fail when one of the persons is
a homosexual. And some just cannot yield to marrying their parents’ choice, nor
can they admit their sexuality for the fear of rejection from the family and
the society, and thus, live a lonely life.

I recently read it in an article: “Homosexuality is nature’s
way of controlling population.” The statement ends with an invisible smiley, in
my opinion, because it says it all – that homosexuality is natural, acceptable,
reasonable, and nothing less than being “straight”.

Maybe I understand too little, the complicacies of being a
homosexual. But when the topic of legalizing gay marriage has been on the news
since the last few days I couldn’t help myself but write this post. If all of
us were given the right to vote for or against it, I would, without doubt, vote
for it. For I don’t believe in making lovers suffer, and from when did love
have a definition?

I could go on and on in this subject (or any subject for
that matter as I am a blabby person which is totally the opinion of my friends
and not mine :-P) but I am concluding this post with the note that two adults,
irrespective of their genders, shouldn’t be refrained from making love if both
of them have indicated their consent.

Being a fiction writer, it’s obvious that my post contains
some fictional parts. But the viewpoint, I own up to it. I hope this post isn’t
offending to anyone in any manner. In case it is, my sincere apologies to the
person concerned.

Goodreads

I cannot, or rather will not judge a book that touches the strings of my heart and leaves me half-crying and half-contemplating about my own meaningless existence in this vast universe.

The kind of story that makes you want to question the laws of nature, that's heart-ending and beautiful and that makes you irrevocably fall in love with the story and the characters. And you all you want to do is pray for the characters who are left behind to leave a life of mourning and misery and that's when you realize it's just a work of fiction. But not really, because fictions are realities we don't think of, that are happening to people we know nothing about.