Annabelle and Scarlett Darling are sisters who are very wise and love telling others what to do through a hilarious advice blog.

Things to fail at

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By Annabelle / Scarlett

Annabelle and Scarlett Darling are sisters who are very wise and love telling others what to do. They are very good at fixing others, themselves, not quite so much. Annabelle - who trained as a life coach - says that's how it's done. Both are in
...

Annabelle and Scarlett Darling are sisters who are very wise and love telling others what to do. They are very good at fixing others, themselves, not quite so much. Annabelle - who trained as a life coach - says that's how it's done. Both are in their 30s, although Scarlett is quick to point out that one of them (not Scarlett) is heading out of her 30s. Fast. Please send your questions to annabelleandscarlett@gmail.com

Scarlett, I’ve been invited to join a group on Pinterest! I finally found a group I want to be part of - one I never have to see! We’re supposed to post something we’ve made every day. I thought I’d start with doilies and move up to some of my cat hoodies that I’ve been posting on there. Though no one seems to be following me. But no biggie, it’s going to be so fun!

Annabelle, weren’t you just saying that you don’t have any time - you know, between your 18 jobs and all? Or is that only when I ask you to come to dinner?

I know, I am always working. But when it’s slow at Starbucks, or the old man I take care of is in a drug-induced sleep, I can do something. I think.

What happens if there’s a day when you don’t have something new to post?

I hadn’t thought about that. I guess seven new projects a week is kind of a lot. Maybe I’ll make some really small cat hoodies. For kittens.

And what happens when you post something and people critique it? And they say unkind things because Tiffany’s mom makes cupcakes with fondant princesses with real eyelashes and you just make regular cupcakes that are still really good but what even is fondant anyway?

I hadn’t thought of that either. This isn’t sounding so fun now. How about if I just make a hoodie for your cat? And we post it on Facebook. For our friends. Not mean strangers. I hate Pinterest.

Oh Annabelle, I don’t mean to take the wind out of your sails. It’s just that people are horrible and you can never quite stack up to someone else’s stupid cupcakes. I would love a hoodie for Nemesis. We’ll sedate him and make him wear it long enough for a photo. And then we can photograph the scars we get before we remember the sedatives. It will be a process piece and we’ll get Pulitzer, a Nobel and an Oscar.

We totally will! But before that, I guess it’s time to put down my knitting needles and answer some questions. You ready Scarlett?

Ready like a fondant princess wearing a cat hoodie, Annabelle.

Q: How can I stealthily change my boyfriend’s style? He is stuck in the ‘80s and it drives me crazy! - Hammertime in the Hamptons

A: You can’t come right out and tell him he has no style and looks like an idiot. I did that once, it didn’t go well. He had a penchant for biker wear I could not abide. We broke up over leather pants. I still think it was a good call on my part.

S: Does he buy his own clothes? Does he even buy clothes? Where do you buy acid washed, pegged jeans these days? Maybe he’s stuck in the ‘80s because that’s when his mom stopped buying his clothes. Buy that poor man something to wear. Do it for all of us.

S: Not to change the subject, but Annabelle the real problem with that guy was that neither you nor I could fit into his leather pants. Neither could he, for that matter.

A: I know!! He was a freak of nature! I cannot be with a guy whose clothes are too small for me. That’s just wrong.

S: Seriously. When Banana Republic sells “The Boyfriend Sweater,” it’s not supposed to be a shrug.

A: Speaking of the 80s...let’s not bring those back. Hammertime, he’s going to ruin any cred you have if you don’t intercede stat. Take him to Banana Republic and buy him a big boy sweater. And some khakis.

S: Unless by “stuck in the ‘80s” you mean he dresses like Cyndi Lauper. If that’s the case, don’t change a thing.

A: Yes, you need to keep those true colors. Get it Scarlett?!

S: Ouch.

A: Sorry.

Q: My neighbor has air conditioning and I don’t. How long can I hang out at her house uninvited before it’s rude? - Limp in Leominister

S: How did you get in there in the first place? Did you make a copy of her key that time she asked you to check on her cat? That’s genius.

A: I think as long as you bring snacks and don’t snore when you fall asleep you’re good. Don’t drool on their couch.

S: Assuming your neighbor’s home, you’ll have to share those snacks. I bet if you explained that you were suffering from heat stroke, she might let you stay indefinitely - depending on the snacks.

A: If you’re breaking and entering, I think you need a lawyer more than us.

S: We need a lawyer, Annabelle? What did we do this time?

A: Oh Scarlett... I meant, never mind.

S: I think a good rule of thumb moving forward is “ask the Fix-it Sisters, and get a lawyer.”

Q: How do I know if I’m wearing too much makeup? - Color Me Even More Beautiful

S: If it comes off in chunks when you sneeze or someone offers you money for something you’re not supposed to be taking money for, you may be wearing too much makeup.

A: Or if you wake up and there is a perfect print of your face on the pillowcase. Or it takes a jar of cold cream and a box of tissues to get it off.

S: Or if you’re spending more on makeup than you are on groceries. Actually, wait. Makeup’s expensive.

A: Yes, I think I spent more at Sephora than Stop and Shop last year. Not a good yardstick. Makeup is important. But so is not looking like a clown or lady of the night.

S: Or a Lady of the Night Clown. Oh great. Now I’m going to have nightmares.

If you aren’t a scary clown but do need some questions answered, send them to us at annabelleandscarlett@gmail.com

And Scarlett, you know Tiffany’s mom bought those cupcakes, right? They were made by small children in Bangladesh. Nice job, Tiffany’s mom.