Question

Traumatic first delivery, very scared to give birth again. Also very scared to get another epi.

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Wanting a little advice on the situation. My first daughter was too big and got stuck. They broke her collar bone to get her out, I was literally pulled off the bed by them using forceps. She had her head cracked open and also had marks on her face from the forceps. She wasn't breathing and came out blue. They wouldn't let me see her for a second and would not tell me if she was okay. I had 4th degree tearing and they also did an epistemology (don't even know if that's the word, they cut me down there lol) they didn't stitch me up right. My doctor now says they messed it up pretty bad. But my problem is, I'm pregnant again (that's not the problem) and I don't know how I should deliver. If I do a c section, I want to be fully under because I don't want to know in that moment if shes not okay. I don't want to be freaking out and having a panic attack while they are stitching me up. Vaginally, I don't want my put my daughter at risk to have the same things done as my first. Advice?

Mom Answers

I don't know when you were due, or if you are still waiting to have your baby, but I can tell you from experience that being put under for a c-section will not help avoid that moment of wondering if the baby is ok--in fact, it just makes it worse. I had an emergency c-section for my son, and I was still out for almost an hour after he was born. As I finally came around, I started to panic and wonder if he was ok--and I was still so out of it, all I could think of was to ask repeatedly for water, because my throat was sore from puking so much after the anesthesia, and I was convinced that they wouldn't hear me ask for the baby unless I got some water (logical? not really). I don't really remember actually being able to focus on my son until the next morning (he was born around 10 at night).
As far as the rest goes, I cannot imagine being put through an ordeal like that...I would normally advise delivering vaginal (I'm going for a VBAC this time around) but for you I don't know.

I had my daughter on thanksgivinf I went the dr. the day before and they sent me to deliver because of preeclampsia. I was dilated 4 cm and even though i was on magnesium wich stops labor, they broke my water. My epidural stopped working so i felt about 18 hours of labor. My contractions were 7 minutes apart but i had to push. after over 25 hours of labor my daughter was also delivered by forceps. because of me having a uti and, water being broken so long, my daught got meningitis and had to stay in the NICU for 2 weeks and has to see a specialist until shes 2 to make sure she has no delays. i fee the same as you and probably wont have more kids, but as i watch her grow and see her doing the things a baby her age should, i think about it a little less, and it just makes me appreciate and love her more. if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

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