It takes a village

Most of us know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child” and those words seem to ring true once you’re a parent!

James has been working later than usual the past month or so and just left for NYC for work last week and is off for 22 days with Patrick in Australia. On those late nights, I’ve been doing what I’ve been dreading – making two dinners. I hated the thought of this when my kids were little because I didn’t want them to eat different food than what I ate. The only reason I’m doing this is to enjoy a nice warm meal with my hubby rather than eating an earlier dinner with the kids. It’s so much better sharing a bottle of wine with someone!!

I also want to acknowledge that I’m not complaining at any point. I always wanted to be a Mom when I grew up and there’s nothing more I love than staying at home with my kids. We’re not from a military family so I have no idea what other parents actually go through with having to deal with their loved one far away for so long. This is not a whine post – but an actual question about time management.

Sometimes as I’m picking weeds or mowing the lawn I wonder if I should have someone come and do this. Or scrub my tubs. Or even cook a meal or two now and then. I have friends who have landscapers, maids, chefs, and often wonder when is the time to pass the torch to someone else. Do I need to since I’m a stay at home Mom? Also, maybe I should get a babysitter more often so James and I can enjoy a night out and about. Or maybe just time to recharge for myself.

What do you pay someone to do that you’re just done with? Or what do you dream of paying someone to do? Does your significant other give you a special window of time to enjoy yourself – like a Sunday morning coffee/walk through the park with no kids? I’m curious as to what other families do with their time/money. It takes a village to raise a child, and I’m thinking someone else from my village needs to give Mama a quick break! What works best with your family?

5 comments on “It takes a village”

Like you I do all those things myself and have, so far, resisted. I get really close to organizing help it then I think of what I could do with the money I’d save, stick my ipod on and get scrubbing.

A couple of things I have done are: – trade child watching with friends at a local park. One or 2 parents stay and watch the kids, the others head off for a few hours. I used to head home to clean (O_o) or head to Starbucks with a book. Those couple of hours alone made a big difference in the week.
– book in a regular sleep over at a relative or trusted friend’s house
– Keep a detailed schedule for the day (helps if you’re someone who is prone to wasting a lot of time
– Plan and precook a lot meals for the week. One long evening of cooking a week saves me a lot of time daily and makes feeding the children less anxiety ridden.
– Dial back on the expectations/activities for the day. Over scheduling or having to rush through to day to achieve everything you planned puts extra stress into life.

My lifelong dream is to one day get a maid/housecleaner. Right now it doesn’t fit our budget since I’m only working part time.

My hubby travels too a LOT so I have found what works best is accepting people’s offers to watch Sophie (my little 7 month old). At this point it isn’t to do anything fun for me time, but it’s so nice sometimes to run to the grocery store while my mom or a friend is watching her. I never thought I would get so excited to go to the grocery store alone but it’s just so much easier than brining a baby with!

Isn’t it funny how with a child a vacation seems like work but going to the grocery store without them seems like a vacation?? Thanks for the tip about having people come over while James is gone. Great advice!!