It’s today’s burning question: just who owns the future – Creatives or Coders? We decided to settle it once and for all as our event The Tech Off went head to head against Glug on Thursday May 26th 2016.

For those not in the know, Glug hosts events all over the world for creative types to show their wares, swap hair styling tips and take selfies (we assume). And if you haven’t been to The Tech Off before – its been described as “TED talks meets WWE wrestling”.

A range of speakers discuss anything to do with tech, strictly within 5 minutes. Our crowd chooses the winner, who takes away The Tech Off Belt Of Digital Glory, and an invitation to defend their title at the next event…

We were in the dark underbelly of the internet, beneath a railway arch in deepest Shoreditch. But just who would win the belt?

Let’s Get Ready To Rumble!

This time we ran with old-school Alabama Tech Off rules: 8 contestants across 4 rounds, one winner chosen each round, and the Champ chosen from the remaining 4 winners. There was nowhere to hide, you won or you were crushed. It got binary.

The promise of shame enticed hordes of creative-tech-fight-fans to nightclub Cargo – the venue for our showdown. We sold 450 tickets, and had well over 200 on the guest list. The queue snaked all the way down Rivington Street, delaying the start of the show by over half a hour…

However the crowd’s bloodlust was sated with beer and the chance to have their photo taken with our regular security team: The Fabulous Bakewell Boys.

Standing Room Only

We took over the whole of Cargo and it was packed wall to wall, with people having to watch the talks in an outside room as it was live streamed. Like Wimbledon’s Henman hill, but with considerably less decorum.

The baying crowd were first treated to a world-premier of a new film, which showed the power of creativity to effect change. This film documents the #Glug17 project as 17 artists from around the world create artworks inspired by the Global Goals.

A few words from our amazing supporter BIMA (to clarify: not the car) and we were ready to rock!

MC Danimal – AKA Techdept CEO Dan Kirby – fought through the crowd with his security team, holding The Belt aloft, before introducing the evening’s proceedings. And what proceedings there were…

We witnessed rapping, beard-based heckling, a speaker being wrestled from the stage and sexual confessions….so grab a cold one, and enjoy the made-for-TV special that was Creatives VS Coders!

Round 1:

Defending champ Vijay started with a call to arms for creative technologists to work together, to create something & change the world. But then Kevin entered the arena, with a 2.5 minute stormer, which started as John Lennon and ended as Eminem. In a shock early defeat, the defending champ was taken to 8 mile.

Round 1 to Team Creative!

Round 2:

In a charismatic display of all the things that haven’t gone right for his company, Simon Manchipp laid down the challenge. Up against him was tech entrepreneur Joe Pack who launched his new startup on stage. He did so by inviting social influencer Dan on stage – who’s lustrous beard prompted calls of “SHAVE IT!”…

….with the crowd focused on a possible Shave Off the round was won by Manchipp! Round 2 to Team Creative!

Half-Time Shizzle

As things heated up in The Glug Off Arena – we let the crowd cool down with 15 minutes of free-time. But as they quenched their thirsts, the Fabulous Bakewell Boys took to the stage with a moving metaphor for London’s housing crisis, resulting in some slick wrestling moves!

Round 3:

Fraser “CALF MUSCLE” Davidson (Cub Studio) vs Emma “LADY” Cheshire (Dot Forge) Fresh back after the break came super startup accelerator CEO Emma show us how tech solves the worlds big problems! But this heavyweight talk was up against the animated mojo of Fraser Davidson. And with his animated sexy-time slide wowing the crowd, Fraser took the round! Round 3 to Team Creative!

Round 4:

Alex “AB FAB” Myers (Manifest) VS Jack “THE CHERRY” Churchill (Ogilvy Labs) With Team Creative taking the first THREE rounds, this last round was Team Coder’s last hope. PR guru Alex gave a stellar talk about how storytelling is built on neuro science, but over ran his allotted 5 minutes, and was unceremoniously booted from the stage! Jack stepped up, with the pressure on, and proceeded to explain how his virginous status would be assisted by the forthcoming explosion in sexy VR. And the crowd agreed with him, as he took the final round! Round 4 to Team Coder!

The Final Countdown

But the three wins would count for nothing for Team Creative if they couldn’t persuade the crowd to vote for them in the final showdown. Remember, we were playing by Alabama rules and it was the Tech-ometer which would decide our Ultimate Winner… As we unleashed the Tech-ometer, the crowd gasped at the girth of our Wifi Booster. Using the sonic-waveforms-of-science to guide our “connected device” a winner was duly chosen – Kevin from Kin Design! Glug’s Ian Hambleton staggered on stage to present The Tech Off Winner’s Belt of Digital Glory. And Team Creative took the glory!! The confetti cannon burst like a ripe watermelon struck by a sawn off shotgun, and our crowd danced like a herd of party-zombies late into the night. DJ Beefcake duly earnt his protein powder.

BUT Did We Decide The ULTIMATE Winner?!

It seems as if – like a referendum on political independence – the matter of just WHO owns the future is still under debate… The gauntlet has been thrown, another Glug Off has been threatened. And this time revenge will be sweet for Team Coder. Oh yes. It will be sweet revenge, served cold on a bed of humiliation. So if that sounds like rip roaring fun – why not sign up at www.thetechoff.com and get sight of tickets first!