The ongoing investigation of Sherlock Holmes, reported from the Peoria, Illinois outpost of Baker Street's dirtiest half a dozen.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

A new, not-so-grand game.

Doing a little
handwork on the wardrobe for this October’s vampire evening – natural, since
the traditional time of the blood harvest is near upon us – and I needed a
little light entertainment to occupy my mind while my hands were busy. Having
worked through one of those “independent” comedies which is never a comedy in
any sense other than that it isn’t a tragedy, as well as a British mini-series
giving Peter Pan an Avatar-like origin story, I finally wandered into an
on-demand venue that was offering CBS television shows . . . including that
pesky thing some Sherlock Holmes fans keep alluding to in desperation to talk
about something.

Well, as I, too,
like to talk about something, and there had been comments that it was getting
better, I gave it another look. Not as anything to compare with Sherlock
Holmes, mind you, but just as an entertainment to compete with watching “Ramen
Girl” on Netflix or some SNL rerun on VH1.
The results were not good.

The main character
really wants to be House, but doesn’t have the charm. The fact that anyone even
lets him at a crime scene seems as much a deus ex machine as anything else. And
I kept finding myself wanting to take his charming “sober” companion away from
all that and just show her a pleasant evening over dinner.

If you’d like to
discount my opinions on this, I’ll give you an out: I didn’t make it through
the whole episode. Probably not even half. Sherlock Holmes wouldn’t have
tolerated this pretense at criminal investigation drama, and neither did I.

Such a waste of all
that money and opportunity . . . I suppose if I diligently watched this CBS
pretense week after week, I’d grow used to it. If you subject yourself to any
bitter flavor or bad smell long enough, you either become numb to it or start
to enjoy it and ponder its “subtle” nuances as a substitute for real enjoyment.
But is that any way to live life?

I guess Sherlockians
of old made a whole grand game of pushing Conan Doyle into “agent” status and
pretending Sherlock Holmes was a true historical figure. Perhaps Sherlockians
of now will find away to make a game out
of pretending that American television can produce a worthwhile Sherlock
Holmes.