Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Newsflash: Kids are exhausting

It has become apparent that I need to stop blaming my birth control prescription for the extra ten pounds I gained last year. This is for a couple of reasons. One is that a few months after starting my olympic race walking regimen, I noticed that I had lost thirteen pounds. I do not think this is a coincidence. So that means that I now weigh N+17, with N being what I weighed in college after I quit Masters swimming and discovered the unlimited supply of Captain Crunch in the dining hall. I feel like that's a reasonable goal.

Also, my New Year's resolution was to stop eating dessert for breakfast and with a couple of notable exceptions, I've been doing a really good job with that. I think they also call this "You are a freaking adult." I should do an infomercial.

The final reason is that today I took James and Mary out of school right after their naptime (James: why you wake me up? When you wake me up you wake ALL OF US UP. Also I missed centers and snack.) and took them to the big kid school for garden group. And taking care of them while doing other activities, like weeding, watering, and talking to my friends about how annoying bedtime is, IS TWICE AS MUCH WORK AS DOING THOSE THINGS ALONE.

I know that this is obvious, because this was my life NOT THAT LONG AGO. But then I went and got a full-time teaching load for two semesters and James and Mary started going to school every day and suddenly I'm all "WOW, one year olds wander away a LOT. Huh." This behavior led to MANY dashes to the edge of the parking lot to grab Mary (thirty pounds) and carry her back to the garden. It's like my very own Crossfit workout. A workout I have not had to do SINCE AUGUST.

In addition to being wildly exhausting, it was also REALLY FUN to have them there. James played with the other little siblings. Mary watered things with the watering can. Charley harvested lots of carrots and mint. I picked beans. Wes did...Wes things... like repeatedly throwing a huge rock at a concrete wall until I told him to knock it off and then spent the rest of the time in the Gaga pit, SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE!). The big kids planted milkweed in the wildflower garden for the butterflies. I kept Mary out of the parking lot. We composted a huge pile of mint branches.

It was HOT and STICKY and it was so nice to take care of something (plants) that you know is not going to send you a hateful email after grades are posted or scream at you while you make them apple crisp (both of these things happened yesterday).

Afterward we unleashed all twelve kids on nearby restaurant because we needed sangria and street tacos. I have been looking forward to this dinner an unreasonable amount since Saturday. It did not disappoint.

Street tacos are fun because you get to go to the counter and say "I'd like ten tacos please" and then they bring you a huge platter. They were AMAZEBALLS. But too spicy for the kids. Mary ate half of one then began screaming and spitting food out onto the table when she realized what was happening. Wes did an admirable job of picking all the bits of meat out around the veggies and sauce. Charley had three. James freaked out as soon as he bit into one and wouldn't stop screeching until I broke off the end of a loaf of foccacia I'd planned to take home for tomorrow's dinner and let him eat that instead. So they spent most of their time coloring on the chalkboard and had PB&J when we got home.

And now I AM EXHAUSTED. And need a shower. Three more days until summer "break"!!

Me

The Odd Couple

Charlie (on the right) and Wes. On the beginning of Animal House, Charlie would be in the frat with the navy blazers and oxfords while Wes would be on double secret probation. They laugh, they cry, they have mud fights, they encourage each other to dance naked on the patio table. Most of all, they are brothers and they love each other. Violently.

The Kid who Thinks He's Still a Baby

James loves Mary, his brothers, and his parents, in that order. He's fiercely independent, but will tell anyone who will listen that he's still a baby. He's Mary's number one fan and has a doll he likes to dress in her clothes.

Baby Girl

Mary was born in August, the youngest and a girl in a house full of testosterone. She is laid back and happy and totally impervious to noise.

The Husband

Ryan, husband extroidanaire, smartypants engineer, throws small children many feet into the air, appreciates all attempts at cooking, "the fun one", supports the family with a smile, makes great pies.