Archive for March, 2002

From The Scotsman comes this report of a police raid on the home of a Munich bachelor. His neighbors, it seems, had noticed him furtively carrying what appeared to be the body of a woman into his flat. The annoyed occupant got the cops to leave by showing them his extensive collection of inflatable sex dolls.

The U.S. Justice Dept. has announced it will seek the death penalty for Zacarias Moussaoui, an alleged accomplice of the 9/11 hijackers and the only person so far to be charged in the attacks. Moussaoui’s defense immediately cried foul, pointing out that the French citizen was in jail on a visa violation on 9/11, and that there is no legal precedent for executing someone merely for preparing for a crime, rather than actually committing it. At a press conference, U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft justified the government’s position, saying, “Hey, cut us some slack. We just really, really, really need to kill someone here, and unfortunately, all the actual perpetrators are already dead.”

The Independent News is one of many outlets carrying the story of supermodel Naomi Campbell’s legal victory over The Mirror, which she sued for invasion of privacy after the tabloid published a series of articles describing her treatment for cocaine addiction. Interestingly, the British high court sided with Campbell even though, as one judge put it, he was “satisfied that she lied on oath” about the reason for her admission to a hospital. So you see, even liars can win sometimes – as long as they’re pretty enough.

The San Diego Union Tribune is carrying a story that says Reed Slatkin, co-founder of mega-ISP Earthlink, has agreed to plead guilty to charges he operated a fraudulent Ponzi scheme that involved nearly $600 million of investors’ money. Prosecutors say he could face 12 to 15 years in prison and a fine of up to $3.75 million. Ouch. Makes you wonder what sort of punishment he would be looking at if he didn’t cop a plea.

Salon (among others) is carrying an AP story about a statement Britney Spears made at a recent press conference, denying that she is in “an intense relationship” with anyone. This is apparently fanning the flames of repressed lust in the hearts of many, including lies.com reader Anthony Grant, who writes, “Last night while Britney was relaxing in London, The Daily Mirror caught Britney in sex scandal with local boy Anthony Grant, 16.” You wish, Anthony.

box writes to point out some of dubya’s previous statements on free trade, and contrasts them with his more recent stands on tariffs for steel andlumber. box continues, “Shortsightedness for the sake of the US timber lobbyists, for the sake of next year’s election in Ohio and Indiana [steel industry..], and for a slap in the face of the environmentalists who are part of the Democratic National Coalition. But fuck our timber and steel industries in the long run, right? They don’t need to stay competitive, we’ll just tariff anyone who builds up a more efficient infrastructure.” Easy, big fella.

As reported in Independent News, Peter Buck, guitarist for REM, recently denied in a London courtroom that he was lying when he said he’d taken a sleeping pill at the beginning of a transatlantic flight last April. Buck is accused of drinking too much wine and going on a drunken rampage on the British Airways flight; apparently he failed to mention the sleeping pill when he was originally arrested and questioned by police.

from the pay-no-attention-to-that-man-behind-the-curtain,-part-II dept.

Columnist Jim Hoagland wrote a piece called The Limits of Lying that appeared in the Washington Post last week. In it he mentions Solicitor General Ted Olson’s recent argument before the Supreme Court that there are any number of situations “where government officials might quite legitimately have reasons to give false information out.” That Supreme Court case concerns Jennifer Harbury, who is seeking the right to sue the government for lying to her about the status of her husband, who apparently was tortured and killed by our good friends in the Guatemalan army. An earlier story from the Post has more detail about the case.

Faced with a court-imposed deadline, the administration has released thousands of pages of documents describing meetings of the President’s energy task force – but withheld thousands of pages more. As an article in the LA Times describes, the Energy Department yesterday released about 11,000 pages of (heavily edited) documents, while withholding about 15,000 pages. An article in the Boston Globe refers to Vice President Dick Cheney’s insistence that the White House be allowed to conduct its business in private, “in order to let outside experts speak freely and anonymously.” Right. And in order to let him and his industry cronies determine our energy future without input from anyone else, while claiming to be conducting a balanced policy review.

So, maybe you’ve seen the Pokey the Penguin comic strip before; maybe you haven’t. If you haven’t, the one currently running is, I think, a particularly good one for you to cut your teeth on. It is, as far as I can tell, completely incomprehensible, with no actual humor detectable by anyone other than the artist who created it, and possibly one or two of his closest friends. In other words, it’s classic Pokey.

The Mrs. brought this one to my attention: As reported by Reuters (via CBS News): many celebrities preparing for the Oscar ceremonies get botox injections in their armpits. The chicken botulinum toxin apparently paralyzes the sweat glands, minimizing the risk of unsightly wetness for up to six months. A bargain at only $1,000 per treatment. So think about that while watching those acceptance speeches tonight.

From Wired comes this story of two enterprising youngsters who have turned their aging Mac SE/30 into a bong. The youth of today are so creative; I couldn’t think of anything better to do with my old SE at my last garage cleaning than to toss it into the dumpster.

I think this is one of those stories that seems either mildly funny or extremely scary, depending on your relative distance from the child-gun-safety issue. Either way, check out this eBay auction for a Russian Rulette Kids Toy!!!! [sic]. Excellent condition, we’re told, for which I’m sure we should be grateful; if only all of them were still MiB.

So, I’m sure I’m not the only cynic who views the recent passage of campaign finance reform by the U.S. Congress as an event destined to be less than earthshaking in its longterm effects. Like state legislatures passing laws setting pi equal to 3, it just ain’t gonna happen. Ken Starr will lead the counterattack, apparently, serving as the legal equivalent of a Presa Canario for Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Ky). “This is a mission to preserve the fundamental constitutional freedom of all Americans to fully participate in our democracy,” said the Senator yesterday, of his planned legal challenge to the reforms. Right.

Recently the folks at TheOneRing.Net posted the first decent photo to come out showing Miranda Otto as Eowyn, from The Two Towers, the upcoming second installment of the Lord of the Rings movie. Not surprisingly, she looks perfect; just the right blend of beauty, sorrow, and vulnerability. Sigh.

In a recently concluded eBay auction, a set of original Macintosh packing materials, including the cardboard box, styrofoam inserts, and jumbo plastic bag (but no computer), brought more than $500. Gives new meaning to the phrase “mint [in] box” condition, don’t you think? The Wired story has more details.