“I can’t hardly believe that. It’s just a bunch of junk. There’s always junk written — lies that aren’t true,” Barbara, who was married to the crooner from 1976 until his death in 1998, told the Desert Sun.

"It sounds like a phony to me."

Woody Allen, Ronan's purported bio-dad, also dismissed the claims.“The article is so fictitious and extravagantly absurd that he is not going to comment," his representative told the Associated Press.

I should probably leave it at that as an objective journalist or whatever, but — guys: Those eyes. That jaw.