What’s Left of the Truth

Bitterness has been good copy for me over the years, but it’s hardly more than shtick by now. How long has it been? The bitterness was real for a long time, but it’s been a long time since. It clings like nostalgia. It always has. I’ve always let it. It shaped my life around a black heart. My heart is no longer black. Pride drove the obsession; bitterness, the delusion; both of them, the expression. And that was the drug that ramped up my paranoia. I don’t need the drug anymore. I have found another that has no need for pride and bitterness. It’s only hope. It’s only what’s left of the truth.

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§ 8 Responses to What’s Left of the Truth

It’s such a shame that you’re not continuing with this blog. Even though I only visited once in a while, I enjoyed every single post that I read. If you ever condense your writings into a book, I will buy it. You are immensely talented.

Thank you, Ariane, for the compliment. It’s humbling. I might write again, but the reason for writing that began A Bright, Ironic Hell so long ago now has become the reason to not write. (Ironic to the end, huh?) Come back and read more, please. Though I’ve stopped writing this, I still care deeply for it and would be sad if no one ever stopped by again. (And I still think it’s useful, too.)

I stopped by and read frequently, too, and I too am sad to see the last entry in this blog. I’m looking forward to reading the summation – what you’ve learned and why you’re stopping. I have to say, by way of constructive criticism, that I liked Bright Ironic Hell and Satellite Dance more. Things happened in each of those. The “date” in the coffee bar is heartbreaking and so well-written, I’ve re-read it several times. All of that stuff gives me some persepctive on my own experiences with “limerence” – the google term that helped me find your sites. This blog was not intended to talk about things, but I couldn’t relate to your abstract writing in the same way. In any case, I’d like to continue reading if you continue writing. Best of luck and thanks for the good words.

That’s an astute assessment. I also prefer the previous two (especially “BIH”), and among the reasons is that “things happened,” as well as that the emotions were “current” (for lack of a better term), on the edge of my being. With Crystal Delusions, I had to, essentially, seal that off from the rest of me in order to get some degree of objectivity. I succeeded, I think, but at a cost that I have not yet been able to fully assess. I am glad to hear from you after all this time. I was just beginning to think that I had no reason to write an afterword, that no one would notice if I didn’t. Thank you for getting me back on track, but I am daunted by the task.

Blogging accomplished precisely what I had hoped it would: It brought me closer to myself, showed me I was not alone, and, I have been told, brought comfort and food for thought to others. At times, I have missed the community and the contact. Though I no longer feel the need to be read, I still enjoy participating in the conversation. Thank you for being a part of that.