Street violence & the world's worst have-a-go hero
One night I was strolling home with a friend after a night out. Up ahead there was a couple having a blazing row in the street; we were going to have to pass them, so I was watching them carefully.

Just as we reached them, the argument appeared to reach a new level, and the bloke suddenly reached behind and whipped out what I assumed was a knife, and was bringing it around towards the woman's face.

Then, to my utter amazement, I find that I've tackled the knife-wielding maniac, and I'm pinning him against the wall by the wrists. He looks totally shocked; I suppose I look fiercer than I really am, especially from about 10cm away. In reality I'm a soft southern bastard who couldn't fight a cold, of course.

We stare at each other for a moment, then both our eyes flick up to the knife. Which, I'm sure you've worked out already, wasn't a knife at all. In fact, what he was holding was a piece of paper, which he was intending to wave accusingly in his partner's face.

So, now I'm stuck. There's really no well-defined protocol for having aggressively attacked a total stranger for what could have been no more than literary criticism. I release his arms, and we gradually back off, with muttered apologies and careful, watchful reassurances. Eventually both groups could go on their way. The last thing I heard as they wandered off was the woman, saying to the man, "See! Now look how you've embarrassed me in front of those people!"
(moon monkeyis busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:48,
5 replies)

Hahahahahahaha
"There's really no well-defined protocol for having aggressively attacked a total stranger for what could have been no more than literary criticism." is wonderful.
(Je suis un vagabondis an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:24,
closed)

the world's worst have-a-go hero
I have to take issue. You made a mistake, but you put your head above the parapet and acted with the best of intentions. Maybe not the most efficient, but a hero all the same.
(ianisme, Tue 5 Jun 2012, 19:07,
closed)