Apple Misunderstands

An Apple commercial equates recording life with actually living it.

By now you’ve probably seen that Apple holiday-season ad that only George Orwell (and perhaps the recently canonized St. Steven Jobs) could love. You know, the one with the “misunderstood” teenager who appears to have emotionally checked out for the entirety of his family’s holiday get-together so he can play with his iPhone; yet, lo and behold! He was actually there all along, producing a heartwarming video of the weekend’s highlights for all to enjoy.

Understandably, the advert bears the pithy title, Misunderstood.

But wait a second – he really did check out! He opted to fidget with his phone rather than frolic with his family. He didn’t build any snowmen with his cousins or participate in the snowball fight. He didn’t even have his hands free to give grandpa a proper hug. No, he did not experience a moment of family time. All he experienced was making a film about the family. They didn’t connect with him, nor he with them.

So what, exactly, about Mr. Misunderstood did we misunderstand?

Mr. Misunderstood missed his own family reunion so that he could record it – that’s tragic.

About 25 years ago I read an outlandish essay by Arthur C. Clarke. He argued that we will never discover extraterrestrial life, because by the time we develop the requisite technology, we will have also developed prodigious technologies to create virtual realities that will interest us far more than what’s really out there. Come on! The idea of healthy people embracing the virtually-real at the expense of the really-real was, to me, both absurd and repugnant. And yet his uncanny prediction is coming true.

Our human interactions have become so suffused with the simultaneous memorializing of those interactions that we have begun to equate recording life with actually living it. Like the proverbial frog not noticing it’s getting cooked in a slowly-heating pot, this insidious transformation is happening all around us. Mr. Misunderstood missed his own family reunion so that he could record it – that’s tragic. Apparently Apple (and many YouTube responders) thinks it should warm our hearts.

The problem actually runs deeper, because once the camera (or social media feed) is rolling, we can’t help but adopt a persona to portray. Over time, we begin to confuse who we really are with that persona. It’s almost as if we have begun casting ourselves in the starring role of our own reality TV shows. But what audience are we playing for? And how much do we really believe our “followers” care?

Here’s a quick self-test to determine just how big a swig of the Kool-Aid you’ve taken. Hypothetical: You’re waiting in line when who should saunter up behind you but the person you’d most like to meet in the whole wide world. If your knee-jerk resembles “OMG! I’ve gotta film this and post it on Facebook” it might be time for a social media Sabbath. This is the person you wanted to meet, remember? Recording that you “met” doesn’t actually constitute meeting.

Now suppose you request a quick pic, but your hero politely declines to be the décor of your self-aggrandizing selfie, offering instead to engage in a regular chat. Would you be disappointed? If so, it’s probably time to go cold turkey.

Look, I love my iPhone as much as the next guy. I’ve even developed my own mobile app. They are amazing tools for productivity, communication, and yes, for recording moments we want to share and don’t want to forget. But that’s all they are: tools to help us get on with living, not a replacement for living.

Let’s not forget to put down the phones so we can build a few snowmen, throw a few snowballs, and yes, give grandpa a proper hug. Beautiful, delicious, real life is happening all around us, pretty much everywhere we look – except on the screens of our mobile devices. If you don’t appreciate that, you’ve misunderstood.

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About the Author

Rabbi Joel Padowitz, MBA CFA is a successful entrepreneur who has been involved adult Jewish education for nearly 20 years, specializing in the interface between traditional Judaism & modernity. Rabbi Padowitz is the founder and CEO of New York-based investment bank Palladium Capital Advisors, which is one of the top-25 most active placement agents in the USA. In 2009 he founded Jew IQ which develops mobile applications, content, and curricula for Jewish education and travel. He is also the author of Triumph and Tragedy: Journeying through 1000 Years of Jewish Life in Poland. Rabbi Padowitz gives regular classes in Talmud, Jewish thought, and Jewish law, and previously served as rabbi for Aish HaTorah’s young professional community in London. He is an award-winning speaker and writer whose articles have been published widely in mainstream Jewish media. Aside from rabbinic ordination, he received his MBA from Bar Ilan University where he finished first in his class, holds the Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) designation, and was honored at the White House by President George H.W. Bush for outstanding achievements in science.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 20

(19)
Susan,
January 26, 2014 5:07 AM

Always a reason

I know that this is a commercial. I'm saddened how technology has taken the place of face to face time. Touching, hearing, listening. I also worked in daycare. And doing things with technology is some children's only way of dealing with a crowded room, noise, lights. What if the camera operator was a highly functioning autistic! Well like I said, I know it was a commercial. But to be fair, I have a nephew and day care kids who can't handle that much excitement. For them to be able to focus on filming is a great way for them to cope. We just don't know by looking who's really autistic or not. So I've learned not to judge it.besides, how do we know he didn't put that camera down and join the fun at one point?

(18)
Ann,
January 21, 2014 2:15 PM

Thanks

Something bothered me about that video and I couldn't figure it out. Thanks for articulating it so well.

(17)
Anonymous,
January 19, 2014 5:23 PM

I have stage four mesothelioma and probably don't have long to live. while I am still ambulatory I am pretty much confined to my house. One of my sons, who is over forty years old, visits me almost every week along with his wife. She actually visits while he sits and plays with his cell phone, texting other people. I sometimes wonder why he bothers to come by at all. Maybe it's just his way of dealing with the thought that I'll be gone within a few months. Whatever the reason he certainly not engaged with me when he sits in my living room and talks to other people via text messages.

(16)
Dee,
January 16, 2014 6:39 PM

Ever heard of the movie WALL-E or Strange Days?

This is exactly what I've been saying for Years! The Movie WALL-E came out in 2008 and the way it pictures Humans in the movie is exactly where we are headed. They are all on a giant spaceship where humans left the earth because we had destroyed life on our planet. The humans (this is an animated movie) are portrayed as all 400 lbs, riding around in scooters, staring at screens in front of them all while talking to people. The Never Interact with one another! The one woman who is wheeling around, something happens with her scooter and she actually looks up for the first time -- We Have A Pool? When did we get a pool? It was there all along ........ Strange Days came out in 1995 and follows a character around who is stuck in his old life as they have made virtual reality visor type things where you can experience anything recorded like you were actually there including smells and everything. Poor lead character and many in this movie were totally addicted. I am so afraid this is where more and more technology is leading us!!

(15)
Anonymous,
January 16, 2014 2:18 PM

creativity

as a former art teacher, I was blown away by the sense of empowerment for the geeky child. yes the commercial didn't show any of the times that he physically interacted with the family. however, his emotional involvement was really there. he caught the familial interactions giving everyone a rare treat that they will enjoy for many years, especially as the older members pass on. and his true emotional involvement was so evident with the smiling selfie at the end. this is the new way, gone is the Dad with the Super 8 intrusively directing the action. Go Geeky Kid with the subtle time captures.

Rebecca,
January 17, 2014 5:21 AM

Emotional enjoyment should not replace engaging with others

As valuable as emotional enjoyment and creativity are, they do not trump engaging with others (especially your family!). This is the point that the author is trying to make. If we put our own emotional enjoyment above connecting and engaging with others, we may be experiencing temporary pleasure, but we are essentially acting in a selfish manner, and abandoning the more meaningful and fulfilling experience of self-giving and truly living. That's not to say we can never have time to ourselves to develop our creative side, just that if it means missing the entire family holiday experience then it is unbalanced and one's priorities need realignment.

(14)
H,
January 15, 2014 7:41 PM

Shy

I didn't take the Apple commercial as harshly. I saw a shy kid who might not fit in finding a way to express himself. While there are dangers all we need is self control to use technology efficiently rather than harmfully. As Jews, we're kind of all about self-control so this is just another test of it imo.

(13)
ronald Mc Donald,
January 14, 2014 1:21 PM

magnanimous article

So very true I feel lost with all the beeping and buzzing from all the electronic devices. I think this article should be posted in yeshivas and shul. I think even R' Lipa Shmeltzer has a song about this !

(12)
Anonymous,
January 13, 2014 10:44 PM

Great article

What a timely article. I'm a 72 year old grandfather of 8 and this article highlights beautifully most of what I've been feeling for the last few years with the domination of Facebook & Twitter in the lives of my families. Thanks for your inciteful analysis and observations.

(11)
Raymond padowitz,
January 13, 2014 4:07 PM

Excellent observation and article

One of my bib best criticism of the direction technology is taking is the way it is robbing the development of children.Instead of learning to interact with other children and developing social skills kids are rooted to their IPads and IPhones.Instead of learning language by hand writing and reading books they are using gadgets with the use of the customary acronyms instead of full spelling of words.Libraries will become extinct as it is easier to Google and download.We no longer balance the use of advancing technology with core values.I remember when every family had a Bible today they have an Ipad

(10)
John,
January 13, 2014 3:42 AM

Excellent

An excellent article

(9)
Anonymous,
January 13, 2014 12:25 AM

Sadly, so true.

Example, who picks up their phone anymore?
A person calls another person, leaves a message, the other person calls back, and leaves a message.
Or, I text you, which is actually my machine communicating with your machine.You text back, which is actually your machine communicating with my machine. We have never even really communicated directly at all.
The biggest shocker, people don't seem to be happy I actually answer my phone-they WANT to talk to a machine, and I am a nice person and live people, but talking directly to me is not only inconvenient, they miss the chance to hear themselves talk to themselves.
Does this reflect well on us as a society?

(8)
Mike,
January 12, 2014 11:16 PM

Excellent insight

For many people (especially youngsters) it seems that life is a "photo op". Too many times their major concern is the picture rather than the experience. On the other hand, as I get older and the kids move away I want more photos of the family to keep as memories. This usually is met with complaints of "not another one"! So as one can see- not an easy balance.

(7)
Anonymous,
January 12, 2014 11:06 PM

So True!

I've posted this article on FaceBook, BTW :-)

(6)
Anonymous,
January 12, 2014 10:32 PM

Excellent article! Really, I just generally hate selfies and all that stuff. It is a poor replacement for real life like Facebook why does anyone need to now every second of your life or Twitter why talk online when you can talk in person? I'm scared this world is becoming more and more obsessed with Technology than real life.

(5)
Charles Gluckman,
January 12, 2014 8:43 PM

Exactly how we are isolating ourselves from family, friends, everybody.

(4)
Anonymous,
January 12, 2014 6:38 PM

Amazing!

This is so true and hits so close to home. Thank you so much for posting!

(3)
Ben Gasner,
January 12, 2014 6:24 PM

IPhone not Uphone

That must be the reason Apple called it an IPhone and not a Uphone. It's all about "I" and not enough about "U"

(2)
Stanley Tee,
January 12, 2014 4:52 PM

It may be too late!

A couple of weeks ago, I was at Red Rock Canyon outside Las Vegas. It was a gorgeous day and the peace and quiet around the canyon was wonderful after the mad rush of The Strip. Our peace was soon shattered by a large family group scrambling down the rocks, led by a very fit elderly man. A young boy of about 10 brought up the rear, complaining bitterly about being forced to join this trip. The old man waited for him, and then started explaining to him that this was the first of about 8 stops, where he would be able to relax, breathe deeply and enjoy nature at its most spectacular. "I don't want nature," yelled the boy. "I want Internet!".

At the time, I thought it was hilarious, but after reading this article, I believe you have a point!

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!