“It’s amazing to think these are my last 3 girls” I’m pretty sure he said this about his last 5, then 4 girls too.

He’s on a boat, alone, standing at the front. HOW LONELY. and yet how ridiculous.

Close up on scratched up knee. Ooh, he’s rugged 😉

OHAI bright blue MAN tank.

LOL HAMMOCK, I’m not even listening to what he is saying, these shots are too funny!

“My relationship with AshLee is probably the strongest relationship I have” -Sean… I really didn’t get that by watching. She’s too annoying. & no I don’t think Sean is CRAZY about her. It’s forced, you’re too similar or something.

AshLee aka Tears McGee

LOL Sean just said the same thing about a future with AshLee that he said about a future with Catherine!

Oh yeah lets mention for the 433rd time that Lindsay showed up the first night in a wedding dress. “She’s not the crazy girl I thought she was” SHUT UP.

“My heart is torn” so I’m gonna swim in the pool by myself and ponder my existence and future.

Commercial

Lindsay gets the first date, and they are both wearing pastels, gross.

“It’s hard to look at beautiful Thailand, while I have this gorgeous guy sitting next to me” -Lindsay. Oh whatever.

WHY ARE THE BABY CHICKS COLORED?!

“You are not supposed to be pink” -Sean to baby chick. HAHAH!

I like that Lindsay realizes that the past dates are not normal, not RL

OOH THEY ARE GONNA EAT BUGS! Cool.

This bug eating thing is hilarious, “I saw how brave Sean was” so she ate a bug too. I don’t know if I would call eating a delicacy “brave”

IF THESE GIRLS REFER TO SEAN AS “MAN” “THIS MAN” ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO VOMIT ON MY LAPTOP.

“You’re the best friend I’ve been looking for” -Sean, WOW, that’s kinda a big statement, lets see who he says it to next.

MONKEYS!

I like the monkeys photo-bombing their sunset silhouette shots

Commercial

Whoa, look at the flowers in the grass… and all those lights?

This is kinda crazy to just sit and eat in front of this stuff, I guess its fun for us to watch.

They should have a short series called Life After The Bachelor for the booted off contestants. Basically it would be them sulking in their hometowns and being mopey in their beds eating ice cream and Chris Harrison visiting them and asking serious questions.

Right before she’s able to say “I love you” all these performers come out! That shit cray.

FANTASY SUITE?!? … they say yes! OOH LA LA.

This is awkward… SHE SAID IT.

“I love you” … “I love hearing you say that” HAHAHAAAAA

Commercial

AshLee’s date now!

“I’m here with the love of my life” – AshLee

Okay, I’m gonna take a nap for AshLee and Sean’s date because its gonna be full of tears, metaphors, “this man”, and “love”.

“I just hope he feels the same way” – AshLee… he doesn’t have as much fun with her as the other girls.

and now for a BONUS tweet, from previous Bachelorette contestant Arie:

CAAAAVE!

Why is it so weird to swim into a cave? You’re not really alone, theres a film crew, or is it just a go-pro? … There is definitely a film crew.

“I think it’s important for AshLee to let go of control” -Sean

“I don’t do caves” – AshLee

“You have to let go, otherwise you don’t fall in love” – AshLee, HAHA OH MY, another great AshLee quote making shit all sentimental.

Oh wow, they made it through the cave! I’m sure production checked out out and went through prior to the filming, I mean come on!

METAPHOR TIME, TAKE A SHOT! Oh wait we aren’t playing a drinking game, but if you are take a shot!

Mariah Carey’s song “We Belong Together” plays on repeat in AshLee’s head while she’s with Sean

It’s gonna suck when she goes home. *prediction*

Commercial

“Every part of my being wants to be engaged to Sean next week” -AshLee… just… stop… talking.

AshLee is nervous about the overnight date, she’s thinking about her morals! and remembers there are 2 other girls, dun dun DUN.

AshLee “I don’t take things lightly” Whateverherlastnameis

OMG SEAN, WE GET IT, YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ALL THE GIRLS!

Too bad Neil Lane won’t provide three engagement rings

Umm… she said yes to the fantasy suite, what was all that about morals then?!

They’re probably just going to cuddle and fall asleep making metaphors about their relationship together.

“Honestly, before I met Sean I had a broken spirit, I guess” what’s going to happen when she gets sent home?!

“This man has literally healed my broken heart” what happens when he re-breaks it?! Shit’s gonna get real thats what will happen.

Commercial

Ao Nang Beach- I first read as Ain’t No Thang Beach.

Titanic moment, STAAAHP IT.

“Of the three remaining girls I think our lives are the most different.” -Sean

Catherine gets into this crazy-eyed thousand-mile gaze when she talks about serious stuff.

Oh noooo Catherine said “this man“

OOH She did a back flip off the boat, that was cool!

Catherine and Sean make the crazy weather come out, first a blizzard and now a rainy thunder storm out at sea.

The sisters are telling all, oh man, this is a little intense. Are they going to sabotage their relationship?

Mom and Sean chat time!

Momma doesn’t want to give her blessing… never given.

This family is very skeptical, but who wouldn’t be? It’s the first time you meet the significant other and he may or may not propose in a couple weeks, or one week? Who knows the timing this all plays out in.

“I want love with Sean” – Catherine

Best part was the Filipino grandma

Commercial

Lindsay and her 2 star general Dad date time!

“I want to see what Sean is like in the real world” 2 points for realizing the past dates weren’t real life minus 10 for forgetting you’re still on camera therefore NOT REAL WORLD.

“I can see us settling down and raising a family here” THERE?! UH NO, SEAN WON’T MOVE THERE.

HAHA how to address Lindsay’s Dad.

Time to get army ready… What is this? An army/love boot camp run by Lindsay? This is definitely not real life.

“That was weird” -Sean … yeah it was!

Commercial

Sean wore a purple sweater to meet a 2 star general. HAHA!

“Hopefully he sees I am a man” -Sean

Her parents didn’t know she came out of the limo in a wedding dress on the first night!

Sean and Mom chat time!

“Things are happening” -Lindsay’s mom, haha awkward

Mom likes Sean, you can totally tell.

No one wants to see their daughter get hurt… obviously.

Dad isn’t ready to give his blessing for marriage, SO SERIOUS! BUUUUT he gives his blessing anyways. How awkward if she isn’t the winner/the one.

“I would be honored to be a part of their family” -Sean, hmmm that’s a good sign!

Army tag gift, nice!

This seems like the most normal family meeting so far.

Commercial

Des’s hometown date! in LA, HOLLA!

She’s excited to see him!

“I can see her being my wife” -Sean, so he’s only said this about Catherine and Des now.

She made all of the artwork in the house? Interesting.

Knock on the door… who is this?! She looks so uncomfortable!

“Des I love you” -random dude … UH OH! & they were together for 2 years?

“Now that he’s here, I do have to tell you something” – Des… wutwutwut! HEEERE IT COMES! jk commercial time 😦

Commercial

Whaaaaat? It was a prank? HAHA, because he pranked her on the first date!

I feel used, I fell for it.

So Mom and Dad like Sean and Des together… but time for the brother! DUN DUN DUN

Is this not going to be as bad as they made it out to be? I am going to be duped by the edits of the previews again?