Since The O.C. was canceled in 2006, Mischa Barton has spent her time trying to find jobs and weed. So you’d think that when somebody actually bothered to cast her in a movie, she would be doing all she could to promote it. Um, try again. Page Six reports:

Somebody finally cast Mischa Barton in a movie, and the starlet can’t even show up to interviews. She skipped out on Cannes promotions for “You and I,” directed by Roland Joffe, and now the producers can’t find her in London. Joffe told BBC Radio 1 host Natalie Jamieson, “She hasn’t pulled out of interviews, she’s pulled out of everything…Her room is here, she is here, but trying to get the two together has just been impossible. We just don’t know where Mischa is.”

The police can call off the search of the London gyms in the area, because I’m gonna take a wild stab and say she’s not hiding out in one. In fact, I’m pretty positive. The only way Mischa Barton would be inside a gym is if that’s where she was being held for ransom.

Mischa Barton in Cannes. At a party:

Since The O.C. was canceled in 2006, Mischa Barton has spent her time trying to find jobs and weed. So you’d think that when somebody actually bothered to cast her…

Some pictures of Gemma Atkinson’s photoshoot for her new calendar hit online today, and I could be wrong, but I think it might have something to do with her tits. When asked for comment Bill Henson said, “Whoa, those are too big. What is she, like 16?”

Hey, if anybody can read whatever that is on her stomach, feel free to chime in. I guessed “Deposit Here”, but I think that just might be projecting.

Some pictures of Gemma Atkinson’s photoshoot for her new calendar hit online today, and I could be wrong, but I think it might have something to do with her tits….

In the most shocking news since I pushed the on button and found my rabbit dildo dead again, George Clooney dumped his latest whore. How much was the slut settlement, I wonder? ITW reports:

George Clooney has broken up with Sarah Larson after nearly a year of dating. According to a friend of Sarah’s, the Leatherheads star recently moved out of his LA home while the 29-year-old former Las Vegas cocktail waitress removed her belongings. “George is relieved to be single again,” says an insider. “He thinks Sarah is sweet and that is why it was so hard to break up with her.” As In Touch previously reported, George, 47, and Sarah struggled to make their relationship work because of their different backgrounds. “The truth is they had little in common and he just doesn’t want to be tied down,” explains the insider. George’s rep told In Touch: “I can only confirm that we have never commented on George’s personal life.”

Yeah, yeah, blah blah. She was outed as the gold digging skank she is, so Georgie scooted her ass to the curb on some Moving Men. And stop saying she’s from Las Vegas because she’s not. Vegas natives, like me, don’t want to be associated with whore imports like Sarah who move here looking for a quick buck. If she was from Vegas we’d accept her as a classy whore, but she’s not. She came here to get paid under the table (or on the nightstand), and contribute nothing to the local economy. If that transient, carpetbagging nobody had a prettier face, then I’d say take that droopy eyed one trick pony George Clooney for all he has, but this seems more like Clooney charity work. Bitch looks like she chews tree bark and eats other animals’ fur mites.

Note: I loved O Brother, Where Art Thou?, so that’s a Clooney get outta jail free card. Everything else is cheesy and played, other than The Facts of Life, natch.

In the most shocking news since I pushed the on button and found my rabbit dildo dead again, George Clooney dumped his latest whore. How much was the slut settlement,…

Mariah Carey and her pancake ass threw out the first pitch at a baseball game in Tokyo yesterday. For what exactly, I have no idea. Do Japanese people even listen to R&B? I don’t think so. The girls at the massage parlor prefer a cool blend of rock hits from the ’80s, ’90s and today. Especially the one-hour commercial free rock blocks. “It now commuhsha fwee, numbah 1 G.I.!” they are fond of telling me.

Uncoordinated update: Mariah Carey is bringing the heat!

Mariah Carey and her pancake ass threw out the first pitch at a baseball game in Tokyo yesterday. For what exactly, I have no idea. Do Japanese people even listen…

All the “uniquely beautiful” stars of Sex and the City were out in New York last night for the movie’s premiere, and boy did they get everybody super turned on. Sarah Jessica Parker is looking so damn hot. Even hotter after I finish ironing her hands. Ooohhh…hello, lover…

Lots more Sex and the City New York Premiere pictures after the jump…

Photos: Splash

All the “uniquely beautiful” stars of Sex and the City were out in New York last night for the movie’s premiere, and boy did they get everybody super turned on….

Actress Cate Blanchett and 40 others have come forward to support photographer, Bill Henson, after Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, hinted that possible criminal charges await Henson, whose latest exhibit was shut down due to images of naked underage girls. More than 20 pictures were confiscated, including one featuring a naked 13 year old girl and one of a naked, unconscious girl being carried by two other naked subjects. In a letter signed by Blanchett (mother of three), the Prime Minister is urged to “rethink his public comments” and to not go forward with any formal charges. The Daily Telegraph reports:

The potential prosecution of one of our most respected artists…does untold damage to our culture reputation,” the letter said. “We suggest that the…criminalisation of laying charges against Mr Henson, his gallery and the parents of the young people depicted in his work would be far more traumatic for the young people concerned than anything Mr. Henson has done.”

Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I was a 13 year old girl, an old guy asking me to pretend I just took some roofies so he can take some pictures of me naked and defenseless would be pretty traumatic. Also if I was a 13 year old girl, Joe Jonas would totally be my favorite. Back off bitches!

Last week, 26 hours of audio from Nick Hogan’s jail phone calls were released that show just how heartbroken and remorseful Nick and the Hogan family are over the fact that John Graziano is a vegetable because traffic laws don’t apply to them. And by “heartbroken and remorseful” I mean “how much money can Nick Hogan make off this?” Bay News 9 really wants you to punch a wall.

Hulk: “Well, I don’t know what type of person John was. Or what he did to get himself in this situation. I know he was pretty aggressive and yelled at people and do stuff. And for some reason God laid some heavy shit on that kid. I don’t know what he was into.”

Nick: “He was a negative person.

Hulk: “He was what?”

Nick: “He was a negative person. Will you work on that Real-Ality deal?”

Hulk: “Yep”

Nick: “Get that lined up so the minute I walk out…wherever I walk out of it’s there…boom.”

Hulk: “Can you do it while you’re on probation?”

Nick: “Of course.”

Hulk: “Do you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or someone else?”

Nick: “I want to do it where I’ll make the most money.”

In another transcript, Linda Hogan says that John Graziano is a vegetable because of karma. And after her minor collision this weekend, Brooke Hogan repeatedly threw in jabs that she was alive because of her seatbealt. So if you thought the entire Hogan family were insufferable douchebags, congratulations! You were right. I’m pretty sure the devil is going to make sure they get a police escort to hell.

Hulk and Brock visiting Nick in jail:

Thanks, Stefanie!

Last week, 26 hours of audio from Nick Hogan’s jail phone calls were released that show just how heartbroken and remorseful Nick and the Hogan family are over the fact…

Mario Lopez hit the beach in Miami this weekend and these are only going up because his girlfriend’s top came off. His girlfriend is Karina Smirnoff, his partner on Dancing With The Stars. OK, that’s enough sweetie. Bye bye! Back to obscurity!

Mario Lopez hit the beach in Miami this weekend and these are only going up because his girlfriend’s top came off. His girlfriend is Karina Smirnoff, his partner on Dancing…