Thursday, March 29, 2012

61'365:: Love this drawing Ayla drew, and then I asked her to tell me a story

62'365:: I made this whole outfit! And those beads are the same nursing beads I used with Colton and the others!

63'365:: watching the tractors

64'365::loving on the local kitty

65'365:: watching the tractors from outside

66'365:: this is how we rolled in Austin!

67'365:: love these two!

68'365:: cooking and mixing

69'365:: birthday boy

70'365:: CUPCAKES!

I realized that yesterday's post was number 400!! I have written 400 posts?! About what?! Oh, yeah... these little rascals.
I really appreciate all the responses to yesterdays babbles.... sometimes a girl's got to vent! Thanks for all the wonderful support and it REALLY helps to know that I am not the only one with these crazy thoughts!

Did I mention how much these four little rascals and that husband of mine make me happy? Well they do. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

First off, I am not looking for anything here... just kind of blabbing.

I am not good at sharing. Especially friends.
From the time I can remember, I have consistently had one BEST friend at a time. I think I do this because I hate to be left out. When I find out my friends are out gallivanting around with other people, it kind of makes me sad.
I know I am grown woman, but, sadly, this still occurs.

When we lived in Montana, my friend Jill and I would always meet a couple times a week to go hiking up the local state park.... when Jill went with other people, I admit, I was jealous.
I was her hiking friend.
And then Jill moved. And I imagine that Jill was jealous (somewhat? maybe?) every time she heard that I went hiking up our hill with someone else.
And then I moved. And my second hiking partner, Becca, hikes up that hill with other people.
And I am still jealous and sad every time I hear about it.
Is this human nature?
Do we always want to be first and foremost on as many peoples lists as possible?
Why is it so hard to be content with your relationships ALL the time, and know where you stand?

Here in Texas, I have made many good friends. But because of kids and husbands, we don't meet up as often as I would like.
And when I hear that they are hanging out together with out me, I get a little sad.
I think it is mostly because when I am invited to hang out with MORE than one person, I wonder if they are inviting me because they think I will find out and they don't want to hurt my feelings. Or do they genuinely like me? This is so hard for me to figure out.
I shouldn't really worry about stuff like this. I am likeable enough. Sometimes I talk too much, but mostly I am a good friend, I think.
But I am a born worrier. About everything.

Meeting my two friends from the Navy, Bianca and Traci, down in Austin, the same thing occurs. We three (four if we are serious here...) were friends together while stationed in Texas years ago. We have all worked at maintaining the friendships; going to each others weddings, visiting hometowns, etc... but still I wonder if they still like me, in all my mama glory (they don't have kids) or do they think I am boring and have changed since my wild and crazy days. Well, of course I have changed, but I mean ... you know, do they still like me? For me?
Why is everything so complicated and in need of explanation?
I guess that is just life.
No matter where you are, who you are, who people think you are; life happens. Relationships change and start and finish and continue, either for better or for worse.
(I told you I was babbling here)

Back in grade school, I was good friends with a girl in first grade, Brittany. I remember that after I got hit by a car and was in a wheelchair, everyone wanted to be my friend and push me in my wheelchair. And I would choose a different friend everyday to push my chair. Not just Brittany. The novelty of being popular, even for a first grader in a wheelchair, made that friendship line grey instead of black and white.
Do you remember grades in school by your best friends at the time?
I think I do for the most part :)
I don't know, but it is sad how friendships kind of go up and down.
(wow, I am really rambling now)

I wonder if those same friends who I considered my BEST friends then considered me theirs?
Facebook makes it easy to stay in contact with these people, but do they remember all the good times you had together? Or is it merely "All in your head?"

Enough.. I will leave well enough alone.
I hope to continue my craziness at another time and place.

For now, I will drink my beer, and contemplate life and all its complexities.

St. Patty's Day is something that before kids, I never really celebrated... but as it is, Tyler is a 1/4 Irish or more, so the kids are an 1/8 at least... I figured we best celebrate!
Ayla had a friend over the night before, and although I forgot to help them set the leprechaun traps the night before, I DID remember to set out their shoes by the front door to find a little treat in the morning (marshmallows, chocolate chips and $1).
And those sneaky little leprechauns... they kept peeing in the toilets and the pee was GREEN!
Ayla made the most adorable comment about that "Maybe they eat a lot of asparagus?!"
Maybe they do Ayla, maybe they do.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Kellen did have an actual birthday party on St. Patty's day. We originally had everyone plan to meet us at the park... but we got there, and it started raining and then the thunder and lightening came! Of course! So we headed for the house (which was a MESS since we weren't having company!_)

But it was fun. Tyler decorated the cake so cute, and Kellen absolutely LOVED it!
He is the first of my kids who actually digs the whole getting sang too... it was cute.
He is such a wonderfully rascally little boy, and I don't think I could love him any more.

Monday, March 26, 2012

We were in dire straights here... lack of sleep was pulling at our every fiber. Tyler is working swing shift, so he would get home at about 2am every morning, try to sleep by three, and then we would silently fight over who got to sleep in. I think we were very fair for the most part :)
Above are pictures of Tyler taking the kids to the zoo (he also took them to the donut shop) so that they would be out of the house until 11am. From 8 until 11am, I got uninterrupted sleep.
It was bliss.
But I missed this.
I missed every second of that trip to the zoo.
Tyler told me there is somethings special about that place early in the morning before everyone gets there. When the animals are waking and roaming around their pens.
The kids LOVE this zoo. It is small enough to get through in a couple hours, and there isn't a bunch of hype.
But there is a train... which they love too.

I felt sad when they came home.
Well rested, but sad.
I would never get to be in those memories for the kids. I would be at home sleeping.
I didn't get to see the way Colton gazed at the red mained wolf, hoping to catch a glimpse of the new pup in the enclosure.
I didn't get to see the wind whipping Ayla's hair everywhere.
I didn't get to see them watching the alligator move.
Or the mountain lions stalking our jogging stroller (!)

I hate missing things.
Maybe that is why I am scared to send the kids off to school. I will MISS them all day. I think this is a sad part of being a parent. Especially a stay at home parent because the parts you miss are so little, but they hurt all the same.
Next year, when the older two are in school, I am thinking of sending the younger two to daycare so I can start on my degree and knock out some prereqs for my dream job (if there is such a thing!)

Sunday, March 25, 2012

My baby boy started eating solids! This is a little later than I remember starting the others, and I just am giving him a taste... I am not ready for full on solid feeding yet! But he is 6 MONTHS OLD! I cannot believe that much time has passed since I had this little bundle of smiles.
He really is the sweetest little babe. He has been eyeing food for some time now, so I figured he could try some avocados and bananas. He really liked the avocados, but wasn't too keen on bananas! Oh, well. Kellen ate those right up.
I cannot believe he is six months old.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

For his actual birthday (the 9th) we didn't do a whole bunch.... we spent our morning at the library and then headed to the local cupcake shop to pick out special birthday cupcakes. Colton was very proud to be able to pick out a cupcake for each person. There are certain big brother perks.

Sleep.
Something everyone needs.
Something that tends to elude me at every corner.
First off, having four kids means you get less sleep. I know that. There is always one with... something; sickness, nightmares, thirst, hunger, you name it.
But for the last six months I have been woken every 2 hours by a sweet little babe who INSISTS he's starving! Every two hours, which means after feeding him and getting myself back to sleep, I might get an hour or hour and a half. Might.
Well, we moved him to his crib recently because we were waking him up with every move (I'm talking just lifting the blankets). But he hates his crib and hasn't learned that he can fall asleep on his own without my boob in his mouth!
And he still wakes up every two hours on average. The other night I went to bed at 10pm, got up at 7am. Between those NINE precious hours, I got roughly 4.5 hrs of sleep that was interrupted exactly 7 times (unless I was dreaming!!). This seems like a nightly occurrence for us. Sadly.
You would think we had experience. Turns out; no.
But I do have a lot of excuses and books on the subject. Ha!
Oh, sleep. I dream about you constantly.
My eyes ache I'm so tired.

UPDATE::
After reading two different parenting/sleep books, I made up my mind and decided to teach Soren a very valuable lesson: How to sleep on his own.
First book, Bringing Home BeBe. This is my new favorite parenting book. Not that I don't already know a little something about parenting, but one thing I have always had is a bit of guilt. Guilt over not being good enough as a mama to my four crazy kids. For some reason this book helped with that. It has some great advice, no matter what country you live in :)
Second book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. At first, this book just confused me, which I think was because my lack of sleep altered state. I couldn't figure out WHAT the plan of action was. Then I read just the section I needed to, and voila, I got it! We have used this method the last two nights, and there is a DRASTIC change in the way the night goes... he goes to bed between 7 and 8pm, (cries minimally) wakes up between 12=1am to nurse, back to sleep until 4 or 5am, nurses and sleeps until 7 or 8am. FANTASTIC!!
Anyways, I am on the mend... our whole house is. Sleep is an amazing thing.

52'365:: LOVE! (and yes, this isn't from this day, I cheated. So what!)

53'365:: wrist rolls... who DOESN'T love these?

54'365:: I love everything about this picture. The sprinkler, the umbrellas, the suit (on Colton), the dress (on Ayla), the birthday suit (on Kellen), and the random cooler in our backyard. Totally explainable, I assure you.

55'365:: colored carrots. delish.

56'365:: remember that random cooler from above... this is Ayla's picture of what's inside. Shells from our Florida trip!

57'365:: Chomp, chomp!

58'365:: he was in a measuring phase that day.

59'365:: Look at this ADORABLE hat made by one of my best friends up in Montana?! Isn't it just perfect?!

60'365:: My bunch.

Well, that covers February.
I have been so bad at blogging lately. We are sorely lacking sleep around here, due to babies and being sick with something or another.
But I believe we are on the mend!
Kellen had a birthday the other day... totally low-key and fun for a 2 year old... we plan to have a party for him this weekend :) He is such a special little guy!
Ayla and Colton just finished up swimming lessons tonight. And my, am I proud of them. Ayla is our resident fish, she loves the water... Colton has always had a healthy fear, especially putting his head under water! But due to kids not showing up for the last two classes, they had the teacher all to themselves! It was fantastic because he really worked with them, and was very patient. Colton started jumping off the side, into the pool... a new thing for him. So proud :)
We also all took a trip down to Austin, more to come soon. It was a blast!

Friday, March 2, 2012

I decided I better host a giveaway... kind of like karma!
Lately, with all the luck at winning giveaways... best to give back right?

So here it is::
The winner gets to pick something from my Etsy shop! Anything... well, there isn't much to choose from, but you can pick one of the items still in the shop! There are some cute outfits and bibs! (no special orders, unless your willing to wait an undetermined amount of time, ha ha!)

Good luck!
All you have to do is leave a comment letting me know what your favorite item is, you can share if you like, but it doesn't get you an extra entry.. .just one per person.

I will then have someone in the house pick a random number (without any helping :)

You have one week... winner will be drawn next Friday, March 9 (in honor of Kellen's birthday!)