New year, new you?

The first
day of the new year is always high with expectation. At least that’s how it
used to be for me. As a young woman, I remember the pressure of always having
to ‘do something’ or be somewhere fabulous on New Year’s Eve. How things have
changed. Last night was like most other weekend nights, just the four of us.
Nothing particularly extraordinary, except for the fireworks that lit the Sandton
skyline at midnight that Motheo managed to stay up for. And the rain.

The
continuous rain and cooler weather, since yesterday morning, has been a
surprising antidote for the ‘flames’ that have been synonymous with 2018. In
Africa, rain is considered a blessing. It rained on our wedding day and while
another bride might have been reduced to tears at the prospect of not having
beautiful scenic shots, I embraced and welcomed the blessing. We did, however,
still manage to get the most incredible pics in the aftermath of the storm
which had created a dramatic vista and backdrop that we could only have dreamed
of. I remember that year our photographer used one of our shots as her ‘top 10’
posted on her website. But I digress. Back to the rain.

But I soon came to understand that water signifies change and transformation.

Even though I’m an air sign, Libra, I have a connection to water that brings peace. When I first started to dream of water, in various forms and scenarios, I was confounded. But I soon came to understand that water signifies change and transformation. A cleansing of sort. So, whenever I have a dream with water as a dominant feature, I usually wake with a sense of calm and confidence. Calm that the particular experience I’m going through is exactly as it should be. And confidence that whatever is troubling me has been washed away.

This is the
distinct feeling I have had since yesterday, and it has continued throughout
today. The incessant rain – even though it’s unfortunately destructive to some –
is soothing my pain, washing away the fear and cleansing my soul. The lower
temperature and tranquility of the shower has a beautiful meditative effect on
me today. This is especially refreshing as the heat wilts my energy and saps my
joy these days. And as usual, on significant days, I’m drawn to my mother.

Whatever you fight, you strengthen. And whatever you resist, persists.

I will turn 47 in 2019, the age that Flo was called to meet her Maker and ancestors. If she has known a year earlier that she would leave her husband and children so soon, what would she have done differently? These are the thoughts I’m having. Not with sadness and regret. But rather with a large dose of gratitude. Gratitude that I have choice. We will never know our final mortal day. But it’s guaranteed. Our only responsibility is to be present and live each day in peace and love. The rest is superfluous and strangely, automatically appears once we release attachment to those things. Whatever you fight, you strengthen. And whatever you resist, persists. Still my favourite quote from Eckhart Tolle.

With the
rain nourishing the soil, setting the foundation for growth and renewal, there’s
no need to make any grand New Year’s resolutions. Certainly not for me. I can’t
ever remember keeping one beyond mid-January. Rather, let’s commit to live in the
moment. Let’s be kind to each other. Let’s forgo our lived reality as the only truth.
Let’s open ourselves to authentic relationships so that we can be surprised. Surprised
that letting go is often all we need to invite love and joy into our lives.