March 14. 1759.

Reputation ought to be the perpetual subject of my Thoughts, and Aim of my Behaviour.
How shall I gain a Reputation! How shall I Spread an Opinion of myself as a Lawyer
of distinguished Genius, Learning, and Virtue. Shall I make frequent Visits in the
Neighbourhood and converse familiarly with Men, Women and Children in their own Style,
on the common Tittletattle of the Town, and the ordinary Concerns of a family, and
so take every fair opportunity of shewing my Knowledge in the Law? But this will require
much Thought, and Time, and a very particular Knowledge of the Province Law, and common
Matters, of which I know much less than I do of the Roman Law. This would take up
too much Thought and Time and Province Law.

Shall I endeavour to renew my Acquaintance with those young Gentlemen in Boston who
were at Colledge with me and to extend my Acquaintance among Merchants, Shop keepers,
Tradesmen, &c. and mingle with the Crowd upon Change, and trapes the Town house floor,
with one and another, in order to get a Character in Town. But this too will be a
lingering method and will require more Art and Address, and Patience too than I am
Master of.

Shall I, by making Remarks, and proposing Questions [to] the Lawyers att the Bar, endeavour to get a great Character for Understanding and
Learning with them. But this is slow and tedious, and will be ineffectual, for Envy,
Jealousy, and self Intrest, will not suffer them to give a young fellow a free generous
Character, especially me. Neither of these Projects will bear Examination, will avail.

Shall I look out for a Cause to Speak to, and exert all the Soul and all the Body
I own, to cut a flash, strike amazement, to catch the Vulgar? In short shall I walk
a lingering, heavy Pace or shall I take one bold determined Leap into the Midst of
some Cash and Business? That is the Question. A bold Push, a resolute attempt, a determined
Enterprize, or a slow, silent, imperceptible creeping. Shall I creep or fly.

Walked, this afternoon, along the side of the [Bushy?] Pond.1 The Blackbirds were perched on the Trees round the Borders of the Pond, { 79 } and singing. I saw a large flock of Crow Blackbirds alight on the Ground, in search
of Grain or Worms, I suppose. The Birds that were behind were perpetually flying over
the Heads of all the rest, and alighting in the front of the flock, so that each Bird
was in the front and Rear by turns, and all were chattering. It looked like a hovering,
half walking, half flying flock of Blackbirds. Soon after, they rose, and alighted
on the neighbouring Apple Trees, chattering, and singing all the Time. At the same
time, a Number of Crows were croaking, at a little distance on one side, and a wood
Pecker and a blue bird were whistling, and cackling, at a little Distance on the other.—This
is the first vernal scene I have observed this season. So many Birds of several different
species, all singing, chattering, whistling, fluttering, flying, hopping, leaping,
on the ground, in the Air, and on the Trees, was a very pleasant Amuzement to me.
It is very pleasant to see and hear the flocks of Birds, at their first Appearance
in the Spring. The Ground looks naked, and lifeless yet. The Colour of the Ground,
before the green [rises?] upp, is pale, lifeless, dead. There is very little beauty [in] the face of the Earth now, but the Vegetables will soon spring fresh and green, and
young and sprightly Grass, and flowers, and Roses, will appear on the Ground, buds,
blossoms, leaves on the Trees, and 100 species of Birds, flying in Air, alighting
on the Ground and on Trees, herds of Cattle, Sheep, horses, grazing and lowing in
the Pastures. Oh Nature! how [bright?] and beautiful thou art.

M.3 has a very confused, blundering Way of asking Questions. She never knows distinctly
what she is [after?], but asks at Random, any Thing, and has a difficulty in recollecting the Names of
Things. The Names of Things dont flow naturally into My Mind, when I have occasion
to use them. I had the Idea of the General Court in my Mind when I said to Otis, the
Judges had [some?] important Business to do in &c., but the Words General Court did not arise with the
Idea and therefore Otis thought I made [a] silly Speech. My Aunt Cunningham4 has the same difficulty, recollecting Words and Ideas too, especially, of Things
that are sometime past. A slothful Memory, a slow, heavy Memory, in oposition to a
quick prompt Memory.

[I?] read a letter from one in St.K. to one in P. concerning M. Chateleu going to this
Coast.5 M. asks what is that. How confused is this Question? It wants much explanation and
restriction, before an Answer can be given, for [ . . . ] she ask,6 who is that letter from or who to, or what Place from or to, or what about, and what
Place was { 80 } Chateleu going to. She knows not what she asks. Tis [owing?] to the Hurry and Impatience of Thought—which is the fault of us all.

Common People are not incapable of discerning the Motives and Springs of Words and
Actions.

1. This and the following detached entry may have been written any day between 14 and
17 or 18 March.

5. An extract of the letter in question, dated 9 Jan., was printed in the Boston Post Boy, 12 March 1759. It was from Jamaica, not St. K[itts], was addressed to a gentleman in Philadelphia, and reported the arrival in the West
Indies of the French naval commander Chateleau and his intention to raid Delaware
Bay.

6. This passage is obscure. Perhaps JA meant to write: “for should she not ask ...?”