Married Woman has SEX in Bathroom with total stranger, while hubby watches game… Knowing when to say when…

November 28, 2008

We here at Too Old like our sauce. We can drink with the best of them. We have had our struggles with the sauce. We have told stories of heartbreak about drinking, and the loss that comes with drinking. I loved that car and it had real potential that was never realized, since I smashed it in the freeway retaining wall. But, I learned my lesson from the sauce and I do things differently. The sauce is very powerful and you need to be able to tame it. No matter what your choice of elixir is, it’s strong and can cause the trains to come off the track at a moment’s notice.

So we here at Too Old wanted to provide some lessons on what not to do this, or really any holiday season.

DO NOT GET PLASTERED… Only bad things happen when you don’t follow this piece of advice…

Beer googles can cause you to make some unfortunate choices, or can cause you to make a decision that you can’t take back.

DON’T HAVE SEX IN PUBLIC PLACES…We like, check that, LOVE the box, but Erik would disagree with me on outside, public sex argument. Here is his passionate retort against this principle of avoiding very public, outside sex.. I would just say that if you do, then you can’t argue against the consequences.

Okay, I have to make an exception. Public Sex is okay when its girl on girl cheerleaders in a bathroom.

Angela Keathley (the brunette in the mug shots)

Carolina Panther cheerleader Angela Keathley, was arrested on November 7, 2005, after allegedly having sex in a public bathroom at a nightclub in Tampa with fellow cheerleader Renee Thomas. A woman waiting to use the restroom complained and Thomas allegedly punched her which resulted in the cheerleaders’ arrest. Keathley was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Keep it in your pants. I have blogged about this already here, but it needs to be said again. KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!

A Carroll woman who was caught having sex in the men’s room at an Iowa Hawkeye football game in Minneapolis last weekend says she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into the restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall, or when the police opened the door.

What Lois Feldman, 38, will remember is the humiliation afterward.

“It’s ruined my life,” she said through tears today. “Not just the incident but the press.”

Feldman, a married mother of three, has been the target of Internet jokes and prank telephone calls today. She was fired this morning from an assisted living center, where she had been an administrator.

Feldman said her husband, Kelly, has been supportive. She said he faults himself for not going with her when she left her seat to use the restroom before halftime.

“I don’t know what happened,” Lois Feldman said. “But I don’t deny that it did happen because obviously there are police reports.”

A security guard who said he saw the two having sex through a gap in a men’s restroom stall flagged down campus police, according to the police report.

By the time an officer arrived, about a dozen people were cheering and laughing in the bathroom while Feldman and Walsh were inside the stall, the report said.

The officer pushed his way through the crowd, opened the door and separated Feldman and Walsh, the report said.

Police described both Feldman and Walsh as upset, drunk and uncooperative.

Chuck Miner, deputy chief of the University of Minnesota police department, said officers tracked down Feldman’s husband.

“I’m not sure how they made contact with her husband, but they needed her husband to help identify her” because she’d given the wrong middle name.

Miner said police didn’t measure the blood-alcohol level of Feldman or Walsh. Asked to respond to Feldman’s claim that she was too drunk to recall the incident, Miner said: “That’s probably an accurate statement.”

Feldman said she’d never met Walsh.

“I don’t know who this man is,” she said today. “I just found out his name in the paper last night.”

Walsh wasn’t immediately available for comment.

Carroll, Feldman’s hometown, is about 60 miles northwest of Linden, where Walsh lives.

Feldman, who describes herself as a light drinker, drank wine at the home of family friends before the football game.

She said she doesn’t remember how much she drank, but the party’s hosts refilled her glass each time it was low “so I’m sure I drank a lot.”

Feldman said her husband later told her he’d tried to talk her out of the game because she was intoxicated.

“He said I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she said.

Feldman said her husband accompanied her to the game, but their friends stayed home.

She said she remembers sitting in the stands one moment and the next “being slammed around by a cop and screaming.”

“Apparently I was panicked and very uncooperative,” she said.

Feldman said she “ran away” from her husband the Metrodome after the incident.

She said a woman she didn’t know offered her a ride home about 11 p.m.

Feldman said she gave her husband’s cell phone number to the woman, who called Kelly Feldman for directions to the couple’s hotel.

Lois Feldman said her attorney has encouraged her to fight the ticket.

“He feels I was taken advantage of in my state of mind,” she said. “This is not me. We’re a very good family. This shouldn’t happen.”

Miner, the campus police officer, said fighting the indecent conduct charge could be a long shot.

“It’s spelled out in the law in Minnesota that intoxication is not a defense to any crime,” he said.

Just get me some vino (or any wine of the boxed variety) and I'm good to go

Don’t forget the walk of no shame. Another memorable moment in the hook up highway that we all walk.

Keep your head held high…. Lois must have a magic box, as her husband bailed her out of jail! Do I need to remind him that she 1) banged some random dude 2) without a condom 3) IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM! 4) WHILE YOU WERE AT THE FOOTBALL GAME! 5) WITH HER!

I don’t know what she has on him. I guess it’s a little thing called love, but damn dawg. You could of let her sit there for awhile, instead of immediately bailing her out. But, hats off to you and your discipline.