As for who I am and why I came here in the first place...
I was born and raised in South Mississippi. Most folks down there are very religious. My mother raised me under the belief system of the Jehovah's Witnesses, which actually isn't all that bad. I think the only really good thing about that particular branch of Christianity is that they don't threaten you with burning in Hell every five minutes, as they don't believe in Hell. At any rate, despite her best efforts, none of it ever really stuck with me. I never felt that I fit in. I secretly studied science while she would pester me to read the Bible more often. I just dealt with it as it was, but I admit I missed being able to join other people in holiday festivities.

I met my husband in 2001. He's from the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. We married in 2002 in a very quiet and religion-free ceremony at the local courthouse. He had been, if anything, agnostic when he met me. He developed an interest in the Jehovah's Witnesses shortly after our marriage, however. He and I would go to the Kingdom Hall with my mother every Sunday, but like me, he never really fit in. It was interesting to him, but certain things just didn't sit well.

We lived together in Mississippi until 2007. That was when he and I moved to his hometown in Minnesota. My mother followed, as she had no one to really look after her in MS. I continued to live my little lie so as not to cause any issues with her. She's very mentally unstable, and if I were to tell her how I really felt, I worried she'd break and there would be a lot of trouble. She schizophrenic, and has been having troubles with her condition since 2003 after years of being stabilized on medication.

I, myself, suffer from a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), that had been left uncontrolled for years and years. Despite desperate prayers to Jehovah, I could not find any doctors who understood the condition or were willing to prescribe a proper treatment for it. As a result, I struggled with one of the more common and most hated complications of PCOS: infertility. As much as I wanted a child and wanted to be a mother, nothing was working. I was slipping deeper and deeper into despair and depression, and no plea to God ever did any good. What was worse is that, along with my condition and the problems it brought, we had fallen on very hard times. Decent paying work was very, very hard to find, and we couldn't afford food, let alone medical insurance. Things got bleaker and bleaker, and no one from the congregation would lift a finger to help us. In fact, when one family from the congregation turned on us, we were made to be the villains and treated as if we were the spawn of Satan himself!

When we got away from all that and were within the relative safety of my husband's parents home, far away from the nonsense of God and religion, things started to REALLY change. I was able to watch science programs and read science books and magazines without fear. My mother was no longer anywhere around. She was still down in MS at the time, so she had no idea what I was doing. The more I watched and read, the more I realized I needed to stop telling myself this lie that I believed in God. I knew I never truly had, and I had more than enough evidence to show me he wasn't really there. And as I read more and watched more, there was just that much more evidence piling up. Finally, I went ahead and promised myself I would stop lying. At least... to myself. I kept up the masquerade because I worried my husband wouldn't understand after years of studying with the Witnesses. And worst of all, I knew my mother would have a heart attack if she ever learned. So, I just kept my mouth shut about it and played pretend a little while more.

I finally found a doctor who understood my condition and was willing to treat me for it in 2010. With the help of medication treatment for my condition as well as the use of other fertility techniques (all natural, as fertility treatments are far more expensive than we could ever justify spending the money for), I was able to conceive. It was about two months into my pregnancy that I realized I needed to stop pretending. I needed to be honest about my feelings and beliefs, because now I had a child to consider, and I wanted him to be raised as well as possible. I confessed my feelings to my husband, and was happily surprised he shared my ideas and feelings! I then eventually let my mother-in-law know how I felt, and even though she is Catholic, she is very open minded and understanding.

My mother, on the other hand...

I have yet to tell her where I stand on the whole issue of God. I have been trying to build things up little by little by dropping hints as to what I think. I know, though, that the truth is going to hit her very hard. I'm her one and only child, and she believes that if I don't believe in her god and follow what he says, then I'll be destroyed at Tribulation, or I will not get a resurrection if the End comes after I die. And then there's her grandson... He isn't quite here yet, and will be showing up in late October or early November, but she'll fear the same for him. It's not the same as saying you'll burn in Hell, but for her, it may as well be. She's SO mentally unstable and thinks far too highly of me for this to be easy for her to accept. I worry she'll have a breakdown and will end up snapping again, like she did shortly before my husband and I moved to MN. She's in a safe place now, so she can't run away and wander like she did back then, but it's heartbreaking to see her in that shape. So... that's my biggest challenge right now, is to find a way to tell her the truth without breaking her.

And, that's it! Thanks for reading all that. I look forward to enjoying this forum!

Hey SlipStitch, thanks for sharing your story. You've obviously been through a lot of hurt due to religion and seem to have come through pretty well! Welcome to the forum. We look forward to you being a part of our community!

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness
~Izel

(01-07-2012 01:42 PM)SlipStitch Wrote: It was about two months into my pregnancy that I realized I needed to stop pretending. I needed to be honest about my feelings and beliefs, because now I had a child to consider, and I wanted him to be raised as well as possible. I confessed my feelings to my husband, and was happily surprised he shared my ideas and feelings!

If I were your husband I might be somewhat peeved that you were surprised.

(01-07-2012 01:42 PM)SlipStitch Wrote: My mother, on the other hand...

Give your mother a grandbaby and she won't give a shit about your metaphysics. And Congratulations on the baby.

(01-07-2012 01:42 PM)SlipStitch Wrote: I, myself, suffer from a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), that had been left uncontrolled for years and years.

Out of personal interest, do you suffer from hyperglycemia from PCOS and take metformin to treat it?

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

As for who I am and why I came here in the first place...
I was born and raised in South Mississippi. Most folks down there are very religious. My mother raised me under the belief system of the Jehovah's Witnesses, which actually isn't all that bad. I think the only really good thing about that particular branch of Christianity is that they don't threaten you with burning in Hell every five minutes, as they don't believe in Hell. At any rate, despite her best efforts, none of it ever really stuck with me. I never felt that I fit in. I secretly studied science while she would pester me to read the Bible more often. I just dealt with it as it was, but I admit I missed being able to join other people in holiday festivities.

I met my husband in 2001. He's from the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. We married in 2002 in a very quiet and religion-free ceremony at the local courthouse. He had been, if anything, agnostic when he met me. He developed an interest in the Jehovah's Witnesses shortly after our marriage, however. He and I would go to the Kingdom Hall with my mother every Sunday, but like me, he never really fit in. It was interesting to him, but certain things just didn't sit well.

We lived together in Mississippi until 2007. That was when he and I moved to his hometown in Minnesota. My mother followed, as she had no one to really look after her in MS. I continued to live my little lie so as not to cause any issues with her. She's very mentally unstable, and if I were to tell her how I really felt, I worried she'd break and there would be a lot of trouble. She schizophrenic, and has been having troubles with her condition since 2003 after years of being stabilized on medication.

I, myself, suffer from a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), that had been left uncontrolled for years and years. Despite desperate prayers to Jehovah, I could not find any doctors who understood the condition or were willing to prescribe a proper treatment for it. As a result, I struggled with one of the more common and most hated complications of PCOS: infertility. As much as I wanted a child and wanted to be a mother, nothing was working. I was slipping deeper and deeper into despair and depression, and no plea to God ever did any good. What was worse is that, along with my condition and the problems it brought, we had fallen on very hard times. Decent paying work was very, very hard to find, and we couldn't afford food, let alone medical insurance. Things got bleaker and bleaker, and no one from the congregation would lift a finger to help us. In fact, when one family from the congregation turned on us, we were made to be the villains and treated as if we were the spawn of Satan himself!

When we got away from all that and were within the relative safety of my husband's parents home, far away from the nonsense of God and religion, things started to REALLY change. I was able to watch science programs and read science books and magazines without fear. My mother was no longer anywhere around. She was still down in MS at the time, so she had no idea what I was doing. The more I watched and read, the more I realized I needed to stop telling myself this lie that I believed in God. I knew I never truly had, and I had more than enough evidence to show me he wasn't really there. And as I read more and watched more, there was just that much more evidence piling up. Finally, I went ahead and promised myself I would stop lying. At least... to myself. I kept up the masquerade because I worried my husband wouldn't understand after years of studying with the Witnesses. And worst of all, I knew my mother would have a heart attack if she ever learned. So, I just kept my mouth shut about it and played pretend a little while more.

I finally found a doctor who understood my condition and was willing to treat me for it in 2010. With the help of medication treatment for my condition as well as the use of other fertility techniques (all natural, as fertility treatments are far more expensive than we could ever justify spending the money for), I was able to conceive. It was about two months into my pregnancy that I realized I needed to stop pretending. I needed to be honest about my feelings and beliefs, because now I had a child to consider, and I wanted him to be raised as well as possible. I confessed my feelings to my husband, and was happily surprised he shared my ideas and feelings! I then eventually let my mother-in-law know how I felt, and even though she is Catholic, she is very open minded and understanding.

My mother, on the other hand...

I have yet to tell her where I stand on the whole issue of God. I have been trying to build things up little by little by dropping hints as to what I think. I know, though, that the truth is going to hit her very hard. I'm her one and only child, and she believes that if I don't believe in her god and follow what he says, then I'll be destroyed at Tribulation, or I will not get a resurrection if the End comes after I die. And then there's her grandson... He isn't quite here yet, and will be showing up in late October or early November, but she'll fear the same for him. It's not the same as saying you'll burn in Hell, but for her, it may as well be. She's SO mentally unstable and thinks far too highly of me for this to be easy for her to accept. I worry she'll have a breakdown and will end up snapping again, like she did shortly before my husband and I moved to MN. She's in a safe place now, so she can't run away and wander like she did back then, but it's heartbreaking to see her in that shape. So... that's my biggest challenge right now, is to find a way to tell her the truth without breaking her.

And, that's it! Thanks for reading all that. I look forward to enjoying this forum!

Welcome. That was a very well-written and moving story. I hope we can be helpful - or at least amusing.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.