Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The AA Girly Map of Great Britain

Don't know where this came from (well, it came from Evans, who got it from someone at work, but I don't know who originally did it), and it was really sent to me to pass on to my friend Sass, but it's very good, so I thought I'd sort of hold it up to the internet whilst it was in transit, as t'were.

I'm just glad I no longer work in a bookshop, as fairly soon, someone would come in and ask if we had a copy.

Anyway, I was in a friend's gallery this morning (she works there, she doesn't own it, I don't know anyone that posh) and I very nearly put one of my large feet through a painting which was resting on the floor against the counter. I felt guilty at first, then realised it was one of those special 'for tourists' paintings with childish approximations of seagulls, and splodgy tourists and splodgy childish quaint houses, and in one corner (it was pointed out to me) a figure flashing her splodgy childish quaint breasts. Anyway, the more I think about it, the more I sort of wish I had put my foot through it, despite/even-more-so-because it was enormously expensive. Anyway, I'm meeting my friend later on for coffee, and I can already hear a cry of 'damn these heels!' and 'oops' and 'well, to be fair it was shit and overpriced'. They must be insured for stuff like that, surely...

I'd put a piccy up of the hideous painting, but I don't want to get my friend in trouble. And I genuinely think it might be some kind of disguised space virus, like in that film (I think it was called 'The Disguised Space Virus'), so it's probably best left. But anyway, yeesh.

I'm rather concerned he's heading for the big scary road... But maybe he's a friend on Nan's and is about to got to Tesco on the way just off to the right of the map. Sass thought it was marvo, by the way.

It's obvious where Old Man is off to. He is about to deliberately walk out in front of a passing car and cause the car to break unnecesarily. He is number 2 (after child with ball) on the hazard warning test you now have to pass to drive!