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Topic : 08/30 "Get Rid of It!"

Number of Replies: 30

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Created on : Thursday, August 25, 2005, 04:12:13 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Some people say, "When in doubt, throw it out," but others can't seem to get rid of anything. Nathan has a collection of more than 3,000 action figures and spends so much time cleaning, organizing and boxing them, he rarely sees his wife and children. Then, Robert and Heather are on the verge of divorce because of Heather's hoarding. Robert has bailed her out a few times, and now she's hiding a purchase so he won't find out. Will Heather reveal the truth about her clutter and start cleaning it up? Plus, newlyweds Gail and Tom are like the "Odd Couple." He is a neat freak who’s married to a major pack rat. How did they wind up together? Can you relate to our guests? Share your story and talk about the show here.

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Paying bills

I struggle w/ hoarding ,but not so much with mail, try this: get an appointment book or calendar with large area to write each day, and every day you open your mail by the wastebasket, in goes all trash mail, take each bill and write for example: gas bill due[ figure 7 days for mailing and if the bill is due on the 20th of the month ,you will write- gas bill due on your apt. book on the 13th.just be sure to write it down the day you get it.and put all your bills together in one place-desk, drawer,etc.it works for me and no late fees. hope this helps.Diane

Paying bills on time is really important, because paying a late fee is like setting a $20 bill on fire! I know where you are coming from- I am tackling my clutter problem- its taken me about 8 months- yes I know that seems like a long time, but my laundry room is now just for laundry, instaed of storage for things I will never use, my hallway is clean, and all of the bedrooms are clean(er) I have a 2 and 4 year old, and we do have more time for fun since I've gotten rid of a lot of junk. But about the bills....

1. Get your name off all of the mailing lists you can..its bad for the environment, makes you spend extra and fills your garbage pail

2.Ask the PO is there is any way to NOT receive fliers- and if you pick up mail at the PO, they usually have recycling bins right there-

3.I found a small hanging thing with 3 slotted holders- 1 for new bills, 1 for bills going out and 1 for receipts. Contact your companies and see if you can work out a due date that will always be for the week of your paycheck- for example, my husband gets paid 2 times a month- the 1st, I pay the mortgage, car payments, etc. THe 2nd, I pay utilities. That way, I only need to send out mail 2 times a month. If you deal with the comapnies in advance, most are really willing to adjust your billing date. GOod Luck!

Anyone able to see show summaries?

too many Animals

I love my sister, BUT I am glad I don't live with her BECAUSE she lives in the city in a suburb and has 10 animals living with her in her house. She also has 2 toddlers. She doesn't understand why her house is messy. She doesn't think it has anything to do with the animals. If you met her in public you would not guess this about her. I have threatened to take pictures and send them to the Dr. Phil show. She blames her husband for their messy house, but he wants to get rid of all of the animals. You name it: dogs, hamsters, rats, rabbits etc. She has some of each!

Flylady is awesome!

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DR. PHIL PLEASE GET THE FLYLADY ON YOUR SHOW AND INSPIRE PEOPLE!!!! &nbsp

Go to herwebsite: www.flylady.net and check it out! You won't be disappointed!&nbsp

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I have been doing flylady off and on now for about two years and I have a problem with clutter mostly with paper items and craft stuff! I hate to throw those type of things away and always fear that i might need something if i get rid of it i won't have it. I also don't like to use up my cute stickers and papers, etc. cuz then i might not have them again. It's really is stupid, but that is my reality! I have loved stationary since i was a young kid and my family laughs thinking back to a time when i used to lug around two shopping bags filled with my paper. I even asked for paper packs for my birthday at 12 or 13! I have a love for paper and organizing things, but not a talent for the organizing part... just a move a clutter pile to a new spot, new container...etc. Now flylady has helped me a lot!!!!!! I don't know what I would have done with all my clutter without her! I have clutter still, but i have gotten better and gotten rid of a lot over the last 2 yrs!&nbsp

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I am now moving and flylady.net is helping me get my home ready to been seen for selling it, and for packing for my new home! It is a awesome and very practical tool for anyone, and I highly recommend it for everyone.... including Dr. Phil ..... he should really have her on his show! That would be a great inspiration for people!&nbsp

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And for all those out there suffering from the clutter and perfectionism...(like me)... just do it! You can always buy something if you really need it!&nbsp

Where to begin?!?!?!

Ok first let me begin by saying we live in a very small home, 2 bedrooms. We have a one and a half year old son and a new son due here in just five weeks. I am ready to get this place together but really don't know where to start and how to begin. We need a much bigger place but are self-employed and the company truck will be paid off in a year and a half so we want to wait until we have the funds to really get what we want. Things here seem to clutter so fast, one day clean next day a mess all over again. I've been trashing stuff as fast as I can find it but at this point I'm getting a little tired and having trouble finding energy to do the everyday things. So at this point I will take advice from anyone that is willing to give it, I mean ANYONE! I don't want this place to be perfect just clutter free....So thanks ahead of time for any advice!!!&nbsp

Just say no to yard/estate/tag sales!

I am so frustrated with my mother in law. God love her (she helps watch my boys whenever i need her) but she has an addiction to yard sales and whatnot. Every weekend she is out bright and early to get the bargains. The problem? The woman has so much stuff that every room in her house is filled to the ceiling. She get something and bring it home and say "i dont know what i am going to do with this,but it was only 25 cents. Now dont get me wrong, i like to go every now and again but she is out there every weekend picking up boxes and boxes of things that she just doesnt need. My poor father in law is just as bad. He goes to the landfill and comes back with more that he took. They take my children with them sometimes and come back with loads of toys that they dont need so i make them keep the toys at grandma's lol. God forbid the day when something happens to them (hey its gonna happen to all of us one day) My husband and i are going to have a chore on our hands, I really shouldnt complain, It is something they enjoy and it makes them happy so i just keep my opinions to myself and let em go at it! :)

You keep tax returns for five years, right? What about everything else?

My main challenges are parting with 'records' and selling/donating books or magazines that I haven't read and I'll eventually read. &nbsp

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I have purchase receipts from medicines I used decades ago, along with insurance claim statements. Should I worry about holding onto that stuff? I got into the Franklin Covey Seven Habits organizer system for a while and now have five nice binders of paper to-do lists and daily schedules from 1995-2000 in the closet. What do you think, should I keep 'em? &nbsp

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How far back should one keep paid bills and investment statements, if at all? My mother exposed me to her habit of keeping canceled checks. Rather than doing that, though, I use personal checks with the carbon copy and keep the copy (about 10yrs worth). I have years and years of paid utility and phone bills and large purchase receipts (computer/appliance). My hanging file drawers are full and paperwork is starting to accumulate in piles on top of the cabinet now. I have excellent credit and I guess I worry that the details may get lost in the ether and I'll have to prove my good payment history with hard copies...? Also, the old phone bills list whom I've called, in the case I lose a phone number. This is appearing crazier and crazier as I type... &nbsp

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About the books, maybe one day I'll read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged or The Complete Kama Sutra. I have all kinds of financial help books from Dad and I may actually commit myself to an affluence program one day. They may be outdated by then but the larger lessons never expire, right? &nbsp

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I have two-years worth of Endless Vacation, Hope & O Magazine on a shelf in a closet that I expect to get to...one day. They cost money and one day could be free entertainment to me. And what about 'collectors' issues like People's 25th Anniversary issue or Life Magazine's Rock & Roll at 50? &nbsp

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I cry sometimes because I don't know where to start. If I can get all this tackled, maybe then I can sort my photo albums and negatives!! <grin> When I moved this stuff from the last house our mantra was "magazines and photos and books, oh my!!" - boxes and boxes &nbsp

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I'm perusing FlyLady right after I'm done with this post! (promise) &nbsp

08/30 "Get Rid of It!"

Dear Dr. Phil, &nbsp

I am writing to you about your show on hoarders entitled "Get Rid of It!"I am the wife of a recently diagnosed Bipolar Disorder sufferer.I realize I am not a professional, however from personal experience recognizing symptoms of mania it appears that both Nathan and Heather displayed signs of this disorder.My husband is one of the nicest guys you could meet.He's very outgoing, friendly, kind and helpful.We have been married for eight years and have two beautiful children.To the outside world he appears, just like Nathan, to be your normal average clean cut all-american type with a nice family and home and job.On the inside, he suffers!!!He suffers from the anxiety and effects of cyclic mania, which causes him to find an addiction ie. eBay,golf,rugby,videogames,electronics,Tshirts,hats,shoes,etc... and then proceed to collect and "hoard" these items without considering the cost or consequences that his acquisitions will bring.He too, gets a "rush" or "high" and will protect and try to preserve those feelings at any expense.Thankfully, he doesn't suffer from too much of the depression side with comorbidity or suicide but he does experience severe guilt and low self esteem when he comes down.For ten long years I have watched him self-destruct, rebuild and repeat.Always ending back at square one.I have sat in numerous marriage therapists' office listening to how I need to be more assertive, or cut him some slack, or file for divorce.I can assure you that with this disorder, it is more than just a matter of "getting the computer out of the house".He will find another way to manifest this behavior. &nbsp

Dr. Phil, I want to know if the people who appeared on your show were evaluated and assessed and considered for this disorder?If so, don't you think that as a mental health professional who is watched and respected by millions of people around the world that you have an obligation to help shed some light on this disorder?I, sir, would consider it an injustice to humanity if YOU did not assist the Mental Health Community to inform and educate people on proper diagnosis and treatment and help destigmatize this very complex but surprisingly common disorder. &nbsp

Many people are walking around in the dark... undiagnosed, untreated, and eventually abandoned.YOU can help!!! &nbsp

08/30 "Get Rid of It!"

I love my sister, BUT I am glad I don't live with her BECAUSE she lives in the city in a suburb and has 10 animals living with her in her house. She also has 2 toddlers. She doesn't understand why her house is messy. She doesn't think it has anything to do with the animals. If you met her in public you would not guess this about her. I have threatened to take pictures and send them to the Dr. Phil show. She blames her husband for their messy house, but he wants to get rid of all of the animals. You name it: dogs, hamsters, rats, rabbits etc. She has some of each!

I don't blame your sister for all the animals. I'd rather clean up (or not be able to keep up) with a whole hoard of animals rather than people. People are SO judgemental as though they themselves are perfect & can be down right mean spirited. LOL No matter what my dogs would never threaten to take pictures or threaten anything else. They're just happy for my company. I find it sad that people aren't as loyal & loving.

Are you serious?

I am so frustrated with my mother in law. God love her (she helps watch my boys whenever i need her) but she has an addiction to yard sales and whatnot. Every weekend she is out bright and early to get the bargains. The problem? The woman has so much stuff that every room in her house is filled to the ceiling. She get something and bring it home and say "i dont know what i am going to do with this,but it was only 25 cents. Now dont get me wrong, i like to go every now and again but she is out there every weekend picking up boxes and boxes of things that she just doesnt need. My poor father in law is just as bad. He goes to the landfill and comes back with more that he took. They take my children with them sometimes and come back with loads of toys that they dont need so i make them keep the toys at grandma's lol. God forbid the day when something happens to them (hey its gonna happen to all of us one day) My husband and i are going to have a chore on our hands, I really shouldnt complain, It is something they enjoy and it makes them happy so i just keep my opinions to myself and let em go at it! :)

your in-laws are loving and involved grand parents & by the grace of God they're still here with you all to enjoy the kids but yet you'll still complain about something that makes them happy as being a "problem". I just cannot belive how self centered & self serving people are. I mean your concern for when they leave this earth isn't how much you'll miss them (or even concern for your children) but the "chore on our hands". And you know I don't think you do keep your opinions to yourself I mean it's here on a message board for all the world to see. With all that's gone on in the world I can't believe people are this self absorbed & ungrateful.