If you’re like me, you find yourself wondering why you’re pissing away money each month on Netflix instant streaming and Hulu Plus, when it almost always seems like there’s absolutely nothing new to watch. Sure, I can order a DVD from a much wider selection, but I’ve also had Taken 2 sitting on my desk since January and I’ve already seen that damn movie. I’m an impatient bro in a fast-paced world, and I want new movies to watch, and I want them NOW.

To solve that, I’m going to dive into Netflix’s and Hulu’s deep ends each week and pick some “recently added” or new streaming titles to break down and suggest for everyone to watch so that we don’t feel like we’re throwing our money into a toilet fire. It’s one-half Mid-Week Guide to Streaming, one-half Netflix Instant Theatre and one-half Weekend Movie Guide.

Hopefully it helps you find some new favorite films, and I swear that I won’t pick 10 50 Cent movies each week. I’d say there aren’t even enough to do that, but they multiply like wet Gremlins after midnight.

This week’s streaming selections:

Venus and Vegas

Funeral Kings

Hard Breakers

The Ecstasies of Women

Rob Schneider: Soy Sauce and the Holocaust

Bad Girl Island

State of Emergency

Crawlspace

AE: Apocalypse Earth

Should you watch any of these random, possibly unheard of films? Let’s examine.

Desperate for cash, Eric and his buddies think they’ve found the perfect easy score: robbing a warehouse full of counterfeit casino chips that belong to an old-school Vegas mobster. But when the heist goes bad, they’ve got a real mess on their hands.

Random Netflix User Review: “Eh, it’s not bad, but it’s not good either. It’s about what you’d expect for a direct to DVD movie. The acting isn’t terrible, as most of the people involved are recognizable, not A list celebrities, but still people who’ve been involved in things of note. The storyline was a bit predictable, and there were a few funny moments, but not a lot. I wouldn’t say it was a total waste of an hour and a half, assuming you don’t have anything better to do. I rounded up to 3 stars, but I’d say it’s really about 2 and a half. I didn’t hate it, I didn’t really like it either, and I’ll probably forget all about it in time. This movie isn’t going to knock your socks off, but there are worse ways to spend a Saturday night at home.”

Should You Watch It? I’ll tell ya, that’s not the most original plot, but it’s definitely not the dumbest. And I’m always willing to give Donald Faison a chance, even if I never liked Scrubs. It’s just that smile. He’s so damn charming.

Wait, is that the Highlander in the banner picture? He’s actually looking… not that bad. I was expecting at least a beer gut by now. Is he wearing a wig? Actually, given those flashbacks, have I ever seen him not wearing a wig?

That is actor Adrian Paul in the main picture for the article. He is best know for playing in the Highlander TV series and a couple of the movies. Unfortunately, his career hasn’t gone higher since then. I remember in his Highlander heyday he was voted as the best choice for the next James Bond in a magazine poll.