Banning Bossy: Why Sheryl Sandberg and Beyonce Are So Over the B-Word (and You Should Be, Too!)

Bossy. How does that word make you feel? For a lot of women, it carries negative connotations (I'll admit, it was on a few elementary school report cards of mine), and isn't often applied to boys and men. And that's precisely why Sheryl Sandberg, who says, "When I was growing up, I was called bossy," wants to ban the word in reference to girls. To make that happen, Sandberg's Lean In has partnered with the Girl Scouts to launch Ban Bossy and instead encourage girls to lead. Sandberg has enlisted friends like Beyonce, Jennifer Garner, and other powerhouse women to help. Check out their "Ban Bossy" video below:

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My favorite part of the message: Beyonce's, "I'm not bossy, I'm the boss." Who wouldn't get fired up hearing that? And since Beyonce, Sheryl, and the other women featured in the campaign are so inspiring, I wanted to hear what some other boss ladies had to say about this project.

"On the one hand, I'm for it, because bottom line, no girl should be called bossy for expressing her opinion," says Glamour Editor-in-Chief (and my boss!), Cindi Leive. "Is there even such a thing as a bossy boy? No, he's just a kid who knows what he wants. And we shouldn't perceive leadership in a girl as annoying, nagging, or pushy—all things the word 'bossy' conveys. I have no memories of being called bossy, but I did organize-slash-force all the kids on my block to submit articles for a magazine I founded when I was eight years old. Was that bossy or was that just early editor-in-chiefship in action? I like to see it as the latter, though I honestly don't really care that much. It was fun, and I got what I wanted, which was the greatest literary magazine ever published on Sorrell Street in McLean, Virginia."

Many women grew up hearing words that diminished their power, like Rachel Simmons, an author and coach involved with the project, who was called bossy. "I was also called 'competitive,' 'loud,' a 'nudnik' (that's Yiddish for pain in the butt/bossy), and who knows what else," Simmons says. "On my report card, there was an item that said 'shows growth in self-control.' I always had a 'minus' sign there because I talked too much."

When girls hear words like these applied to them negatively, especially by people in power, they are essentially being told to sit down and shut up. But do we want to ban the word, or reclaim it?

When she hears "bossy," Kat Kinsman, managing editor of CNN's Eatocracy and contributor CNN Living, says "I think of brash, bombastic, blunt Lucy Van Pelt (from 'Peanuts') almost inevitably. She was such a complicated young lady! On one hand, she wasn't especially kind with her words or deeds, but on the other, she set up a psychiatric practice, ostensibly to help people and she made herself vulnerable to the boy on whom she had a crush. Plus I have to admire her entrepreneurial spirit at such a tender age. You go, Lucy. Get what's yours."

Here's the thing. I don't think anyone thinks we're literally banning any word. It's more about starting a conversation about the way words can impact young people of both genders.

"Sheryl Sandberg (and Beyonce, and most women who run things) got where they are by cultivating a thick skin," Leive explains. "I think one of the things we should model to girls is that as long as you are living your life in a way that is true to you—and being fair, not bullying the people around you—then who cares whether people call you bossy, or bitchy, or shrewish, or saintly? It's going to happen; haters gonna hate, no? So have confidence in your own awesomeness. I hope that if someone called my eleven-year-old daughter bossy, she would shrug it off and go on with her day. Isn't that the goal?"

Exactly. Go out and get it!

Your turn: Have you ever been called bossy? Why? Share in the comments below!