Optimist:
The glass is half full.
Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.
Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Pascal Programmers:
Well, what TYPE of milk is it?
C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic Programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
MIS COBOL Programmers:
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Prolog Programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.
UI designers:
What's that crap in my glass?
Pentium users:
I drank Glass*.499999999...but don't hold me to that.
Windows users:
Where's my straw?
Mac users:
Where's my pump?
UNIX users:
Nahhh...too easy.
Multimedia author:
< slurp! >
Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Security Consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?
CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?
NSA:
We know what it REALLY is.
Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Free software foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
Schroedinger:
That damned cat got into the milk again!
Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk*TM.
Apple Computer:
You guys really auto be drinking Perrier.
IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we;ll fill it with something
we know is good for you.
IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!