Sunday, March 18, 2007

Lessons Learnt

Tired of traveling for almost two hours in the extremely crowded Dwarka metro, I finally shifted to a hostel in North Campus. Now the first question that most of my old friends asked me was, “Is it a co-ed hostel?”
“Obviously not!!”
Shocked looks…doubtful faces….Are-you-crazy-you-wont-last-a-day expressions.
Ya…thanks for the huge amount of support guys.
First weekend home after a week in my hostel, Dad asks, “Have you fought with any of your room-mates yet?”
“No!”
Man….nobody could believe that I could actually survive in a girls' hostel. You should’ve heard the number of warnings my dear old sis gave me before shifting, requesting, nay, telling me till the last minute that I was making a huge mistake.
And so, among all the friendly advice and goodwill, I finally shifted into a hostel in November.
And of course, I’m still there, and I barely have any complaints.

Now having been in such close contact with girls, for, pretty much the first time in my life, I actually learnt a lot of things, some things which I knew and were confirmed, and some that I had never thought possible. So here it is, my list of lessons from a girls’ hostel:

It’s confirmed, girls are the screechiest and noisiest creatures on the planet.

Contrary to popular belief, girls can be extremely dirty (I’m talking weeks of pending laundry, which stays pending until the almirah starts stinking. I actually know a girl who lends out her clothes to other girls quite happily, in the hope they’ll wash it and give it back).

When a girl says she’ll take just two minutes, she really means at least fifteen (This gets doubled if she said it for the amount of time she’s gonna take in the bathroom. I have never reached college on time if my roomie got to the bathroom before me).

All those chick flicks (Never been kissed, Mean girls, She’s all that etc.) do not exaggerate anything, some girls are just pure bitches and need to be smacked.

Nine out of every ten girls have a boyfriend who apparently has unlimited balance on his cell, so they can talk all day and night. Now the ratio for guys is something like four out of every ten have a girlfriend. Quite interesting, considering that the Indian Planning Commission is worried about an adverse sex ratio… Maybe the census isn’t accurate enough.

Cat-fights do take place in hostels. I was fortunate enough to witness one on my first day in the hostel. It consists of slapping, pulling hair, shouting, screaming, abusing… all the abuses in the world won’t really make a difference, but never, NEVER call a girl a BEHENJI…. THAT’S what makes the fight really serious!!

A MAJOR advantage of staying in a hostel: your wardrobe gets extended to ten times its usual size….sharing is one of the simplest things our parents taught us.

Girls are also capable of doing crazy stuff, be it dancing on the terrace, or writing their names with fire and deo on the walls. (That actually comes quite close to my brother burning lizards in his hostel using the same apparatus, we’re just not that gross)

Girls are sweet enough to clean your puke when you’re drunk, and stupid enough to pour water on your head to make you stop puking.

Bitching IS fun.

Being bitched about isn’t.

Living with girls for so many hours does tend to turn one, well, into quite a bit of a girl.

At the end of the day, when you’re low, when your boyfriend acts like an ass, and when you feel like crying….. I guess…. Girls are a LOT better than guys to make you feel better.

Don’t misunderstand me. I still prefer guys to girls any day. And I resent being called girly, which is what my friends have started calling me recently. But my patience and tolerance level with girls has certainly increased. They’re not THAT bad after all!

@Dhruv - Im shocked that u even thought bout giving up your wish for even those 3 mins!!! ;)

@Sahil - Sweetie, i stay in tht hostel as well....but the cake wasnt cuz of those discussion sessions.. :)Oh, and not tht much was bout miss bose...tho, sum of it was!!!

@Amiya - Woman, i can never even think of matching upto your articles....i still laugh when i think bout your bachelor of arts post!! n yes, orkut does tend to get to us doesnt it?

@Richa - I dont think its possible to avoid being bitched about...unless u shun the entire female community, and some males as well!! as for the sharing n stinkiness....well, it gets worse if u do lend sum clothes n then get them back stinking!!!

hehee...really funny post...hmmm seems like u just dont wana be like a girl...n its very apparent dat u hate quite a few things bout girls for eg. Bitching...guess the hostel has had a big effect on you....u sure hav inculcated that trait...coz if u read the post all over again u'd realise....it seems like all you are trying to do is Bitch about the female form of your age!!! :P

You know, Amiya told me to read this post and said that she could just imagine me laughing my ass off while reading it, and guess what... I was! :D This was SO funny! And so true! Especially the part about some boyfriends having unlimited balance on their cell phones, 9 out 10 girls having boyfriends while only 4 out of 10 guys having girlfriends, some girls being pure bitches...oh boy, just everything is so true!

I would have never thought it possible (i remember being one of the ppl who told you it is a bad idea)... but you did fit in after all. Am so happy for you... will make for a much easier life. Awesomely written post btw.