It's the end of the world as you know it – brought to you by a Gnome Mage with big balls of fire

Blogday memory /fail

Just for the record my 1st Blogday is on the 26th23rd26th23rd26th ok, it really is the 23rd, or I should say, was because yesterday was the 23rd.

Now in my defense:

I thought I wrote 3 posts before I made the blog public, but no. /memoryfail

My wife will tell you I would forget my own name if it wasn’t tattooed on my forehead (in mirror so I get reminded every morning… Which I forgot to do). On the rare occasion I do remember something correctly and she doesn’t, we don’t go with my memory because there is less chance of me being right than the RNG giving a Artifact in a world drop. /memoryfail

I don’t even remember my own birthday. Every birthday party is a surprise party, even when I organize it myself (assuming I remember to do that… which I don’t) /memoryfail

I checked my stats page and it said June 26. That of course was the number of visits I had in my 1st 7 days. /comprehensionfail

The Dilemma

So now I am faced with a dilemma.Do I:

Stick with my original posting schedule, which sort of starts on Friday (but with no opening of gifts until Monday), or

Post the raw responses without any contribution of my own, or

Leak some starting from today?

The sensible option is 1). Screw you and take my time. Option 2) may work for some of the contributions, but definitely not all, and I am awaiting one late arrival. Option 3) is totally out of the question, except that, umm, I am only a squishy Mage, and a short one at that, and when you get pm’d by the most awesome fear inspiring Retadin in the whole of the World of Warcraft, well something has to give (apart from my bowels).

He’s been waiting by his PC all day, hitting F5 every couple of minutes in the expectation of awesome content as built up by one vain Gnome. So what do I do… I leak, I mean give in and leak just one little Blogday Gift…

From Jong:

happy blogday to you

My contribution is a question:

What do you think is the most unsportsmanlike conduct in battle grounds?

Another Mage.

You see it’s common knowledge that the other classes are imbalanced. Shamans since launch, so much so that Blizz had to give the Alliance shamans to stop the QQ. Rogues, seriously who isn’t afraid of unseen death, add shadow step and it’s ranged wall-climbing unseen death. Warlocks, well no one likes Warlocks, often not even Warlocks themselves. Paladins, really there is only one way to think of Paladins, and that’s like this…

Hard shell and healing when you don’t want them too.

No, the reason why I fear Mages is because while we need a whole lot of patch love (obligatory QQ), when I die to an equally nerfed opponent I feel small, real small, smaller than a Gnome, smaller than a Gnome under the influence of Baby Spice and Noggenfogger Elixir at the same time.

Unless of course the Mage was a Frost Mage, cause we all know they are OP in PvP and deserve a PvE nerf to put them back in their place at the bottom of the QQ Queue.

Multiple Choice

Anyway, back to the original question which didn’t include Mages as one of the multiple choice options.

I discovered at University that the best way to handle multiple choice is through the process of elimination. A d4 can also work, but what WoW player worth their raid spot would put all their hopes and dreams in the hands of a RNG?

Rogues.

Thus I have to assume this is the obvious, but incorrect answer. There’s always at least one in a multiple choice question.

Anyway, take away stunlock and poisons and what have rogues got… Nothing, they are just leather-wearing tanks.

Warlocks.

Warlock chain fear

Mmm… Masters and Mistresses of evil, gotta think this is another trick answer.

Warlocks being called sportsmen is like calling them nice. Not ever going to happen.

But for the sake of argument, let’s face it, like the rogue the ply their trade by incapacitating you and doing damage while you cry at your keyboard.

But, similar to the rogue, the one failing is that they are incapacitating you, but you have it within your power to pull the STFU on them.

In the case of Gnome Mage, we have several ways of /roflpwning Rogues and Locks under these circumstances. Escape Artist, Ice Block and of course the ultimate welfare PvP epic, the Medallion of the Alliance.

The only unsportsmanlike aspect of these two classes is dying to their pitiful attempts to gank you, rather than putting up a fight and entertaining everyone with you 1337 Gnome Mage PvP moves.

What’s left… Shamans and Paladins.

Shamans.

Shaman Thunderstorm (blast you off the cliff in EoE)

Mmmm this really is a tricky question… 3 unsportsmanlike classes in one question.

OK, take away a Shaman’s toys and they are pathetic Blizzard loved (and not in the nice family way) chunks of chainmail clad fireball fodder.

However we are talking specifically about Shamans + Thunderstorm. I would love to QQ and say this in unsportsmanlike, but then that would be like admitting that Polymorph+Pyroblast+PoM+Pyroblast is unsportsmanlike, and you know I can’t go there.

If it just comes down to being knocked off the cliff, then hell, bubble, slowfall the pwn the blizzard loving Shamans.

Paladins.

Pally bubble + heals

Mmmm. What a surprise that a question submitted by a Paladin would come down to the Paladin being the most unsportsmanlike! Bet Jong didn’t expect me to come to this conclusion…

So what’s so unsportsmanlike about a Pally. One word:

Bubble.

Bubble + Heals is bad, but let’s face it, Paladins stoop much lower than this. The heals are just the tease… The tease leading up to:

The f’n hammers

The f’n blessings of freedom

The f’n….

Bubble and hearth!

You see the thing about Pallies is they don’t give you a chance. They aren’t tactical, they are rectical (I know, I made up a word, but I bet you will work out what I mean…).

Rogues, Locks and Shamans are doing something to you which you can choose to get the hell out of.

Like kids hiding under their Mother’s skirts

Paladins figuratively run into “another room”, turn back, and through the window raise their fingers with the sophistication of Rick from The Young Ones while chanting…

Naah nahhny naah naaaahhh! You can’t get me!

For Thrall’s f’n sake.

You wear plate

You do silly DPS

You can heal yourselves.

What bit of bubble makes you a bloody hero?

Tell you what…

Petition Blizz so you can cast Bubbles and Heals on your opponents.

Cast them on me

I will take you on:

Cloth v. Plate

Four Fingered Fists v. Skinny Belf Fists

Kneecaps v. Mohawks

Gnomo v. Belfo

I bet you’ll be crying that day!All day…!All the Hearth channeling time home…!

Luckily for you Blizzard is reducing the channel time of hearth. Now you can bubble, heal, DPS and hearth.

Cheating f’n children born out of wedlock!

PS: interestingly, 365 odd days ago I posted a PvP post. (note: 2nd day of my blog, and 3rd post… setting the standard for quantity over quality)

PPS: I see the Battlegrounds Q&A discusses the idea of aerial bombardment and chuting troops behind enemy lines. Wish I had seen that before saying it was needed.

PPPS: Happy belated blogday to me!

PPPPS: Thanks Larisa for reminding me that I should be celebrating with my friends!