You guys! Everybody needs to get in on this fall/winter twist challenge. I’m telling you, it will breathe life into your natural coils and curls. I especially recommend it for my sisters with the kinkiest hair, or hair that tends to just stay dry, no matter what oil, cream or prayer you put on it. I honestly HATED my hair in twists at first. I love my bouncy twist-outs and big hair, no lie. But it is worth the abundance of health, wealth and slayage that twists bring by giving your hair a vacay. Sidenote: you can do a lot of dope styles with twists, they don’t just have to be this horrendous protective style. Sidesidenote: I haven’t quite mastered those amazeballs styles as yet. Maybe week 3 will be the week?!

Here’s a few tips to make a twist (or braid) challenge doable. First of all, if you start getting tired of twists…switch up to braids. If you are used to braids, do some twists. Secondly, you can change up the sizes–go mini for a few weeks or do some big, bold and beautiful chunky twists pinned up or side swept with some pretty earrings and a generous dollop of shine-increasing grapeseed oil. Just don’t forget to moisturize, spritz with water and massage that scalp (if you work out…and you SHOULD be working out, you can use tea tree oil or ACV to gently clean the scalp until wash day).

If you are truly serious about natural hair growth, a twist challenge will do the trick. The main reason I recommend it over adding synthetic extensions is because it really expands your self-love and helps you better understand your hair and appreciate the journey–every (sometimes) painful step of it. If you have synthetic hair covering your real, growing hair–you miss really working side by side with your hair. There are the subtle things you miss, there is a lot of intimacy with your hair you miss out on. Trust me when you love your hair at its worst (or what you perceive to be its worst), when it’s ready to undo the twists and rock that SERIOUSSS twist out, you will literally SHINE with pride. And trust me, it’s so worth it. 6 months ladies! Let’s do it!

It has been 7 weeks since I began locking my son’s thick head of luscious curls, and things are wilder than a jungle in there. It has been my first time visiting my hometown and my family absolutely hates his hair. Most strangers hate his hair. Gone are my rantings about well-meaning old ladies petting my son. Nobody wants to stick their hand in his tangles lest they lose a hand an

ymore.

It is not always easy seeing the transition when people are not so enthused about locs. But I don’t want to lose my vision. To me, locs represent a spiritual connection, wisdom and a distinct Afrocentric aesthetic. They allude patience and reflection. They are an art form. But yes, lint is a MFer, and they are fuzzy and admittedly, do look like a tangled mess as they form.

Locs are not ugly or bad, they are simply misunderstood. My son’s locs are a constant visual reminder to fill his head with knowledge so he will be wise, and to allow him to be. With his unlocked hair, assimilating into the soulless Western culture, it was easy to lose that vision.

So yes, natty dread. My lion of Judah. Child of Ra. This stage is not always fun, but it is the start of a beautiful journey, hair budding as his consciousness buds too.

Every natural hair gal has to get creative in the hair department sometimes. Maybe you ran out of shampoo on Wash Day, or wondered if (insert food ingredient) would be a savvy hair elixir. Well, I too, have found out the hard way that some things work better than others. *Note: I have 3C/4A hair!

1. When you run low on condish.
This happens to me all the time, and I live in a tiny, rural town. I can’t just run out and buy some TGIN. Luckily, I keep an emergency stash of Herbal Essence Hello Hydration on hand, and a can of coconut milk. In the event of a snowstorm or something, these get the job done!

2. It’s Splitsville on my ends.
I hate split ends, who doesn’t? It hijacks any effort to grow Afro hair out. I can lose months of growth to split ends! To keep this under control, I apply coconut oil to my ends at night and wear a silk bonnet. Coconut oil is the best sealant, IMO, for stopping split ends. Once a month I use henna and an egg for a protein treatment, which is also super cheap!

3. Soft hair is sweeeet.
Very sweet, I found out, when I used maple syrup in lieu of honey (melted with olive oil). Molasses is great too, but being a pancake lover, I generally have syrup on hand. It really softens and adds shine to hair…just be sure to wash it out. well with warm water.

4. Clean scalp, look to the trees.
While beginning the process to loc my son’s hair in May, I had to find ways to keep his scalp clean without washing his hair and learned a spray bottle with tea tree oil, ACV and water helped keep his hair smelling and feeling clean until Wash Day, which was generally tea tree oil and ACV with Black Soap Shampoo.

5. Glow from Within (the Pantry)
This is a face tip, not hair. But I thought it was worth sharing. Bronzer is super expensive but there is nothing like the illuminative effects of it on golden, melanated skin. So, when mine finished, I started doing turmeric face masks 3x a week for a natural glow. I just slap some on dampened skin and it really does make your skin illuminate. Also, the powder is slightly abrasive so you get a good exfoliating effect as wel

In this post, I will ask my readers, what is more defiant of the dominant culture? Please let me know what you think. I will give my argument below and let you know which style I feel is the most powerful at resisting Euro-centric beauty ideals, and the best at celebrating Afro-centric beauty.

Natural Hair
Without a doubt, women of African descent wearing our beautifully billowy, voluminous natural hair is a direct hit at resisting European oppression and domination. It was even outlawed in the 1700s starting with the South Carolina’s Negro Act for women of colour to wear their hair naturally in public! (Why you so jealous, SC?). Black hair is beautiful hair, and we have come a long way to accept it, learn to care for it and develop self-love by embracing it. By refusing to wear our hair straightened like European women, it is a revolutionary act and one that has helped to unify thousands, if not millions of African sisthren.

HeadwrapHeadwrapping originating in Sub-Saharan Africa prior to the slave trade was a style that was modest and also telling of one’s social status. However, American slavery has tarnished the splendour of headwrapping by turning it into a badge of shame.

This is why I believe that by continuing to wrap our heads as we have since time immemorial is a powerful tool to dismantle racist beliefs about the devaluation of Afrikan females. Wearing a headwrap is likened to a Queen wearing a crown, and it draws attention upwards and complements the face. Furthermore, with the majestically coloured wraps and quality fabrics we are wrapping our hair with today, in elaborate styles nonetheless, it is a far cry from the piece of common white cloth used in the days of slavery. It moreso connects us with our heritage, history and culture and supplies us with the infinite power that is knowledge of self.

So which is it? Natural hair or headwrap?

Verdict
While our natural hair is incredible and diverse, and should be worn out freely and proudly, in my honest opinion, donning a regal headwrap evokes images of my ancestors in Africa. I feel more Afrikan in a beautifully printed headwrap worn gloriously and unapologetically on my head than I do with my best groomed Afro-puff. It may be the other way for some women and equally for others. So there you have it!

I have been so focused on women’s hair that I never really noticed men’s natural hair before. Today, while perusing Black and bearded dragons on Tumblr, my eyes were opened to the beauty of natural men’s hair, and some really artistic fades. I was looking for inspiration to shape up my son’s hair a bit, and came across beautiful, Black men with thick, kinky coils shaped to perfection.

Lord, have mercy. I hope, hope that sporting at least a few inches of magnificent coils are the new thing because these kings look great. Our hair is so versatile and men generally go out in Bantu knots and twisted chignons, do they? So we women should be applauding and encouraging Black men to display their natural hair in forms other than the same old braids, Du-rags or short hair fade.

Our hair products need to start featuring men on the bottles and jars, not just Black women. Our blogs need to start covering the issues and styles of men. Our hashtags need to be inclusive, too. Our vision of Black masculinity needs to be expanded, and we can use our rediscovery of our natural, Afro hair as a way to reconnect. So, brothers, you look great. Like fierce lions. Keep doing you. We are noticing.

After turning on the radio this weekend and hearing Meghan Trainor’s song, “No” it really got me thinking about sexual harassment. If you haven’t heard the catchy song with an important message, check it out here.

My name is noMy sign is noMy number is noYou need to let it goYou need to let it goNeed to let it go

Sexual harassment is rampant in the hood. I never knew it at the time, but the fact you can’t walk down the street full of brothers without all eyes on your body, or an insistent brother trying unashamedly to get in your pants is a part of that hood mentality. And trying to tell a brother “no” is like telling a monkey to get it’s hands off a banana. They think its theirs. Not all brothers are overt in advancement of a female they are trying to pursue; many Black men are respectful and courteous to women. Still, no means no.

Sexual harassment doesn’t only occur in the hood. It’s funny that going from a Black neighborhood to a small town means the White, Conservative men view me with thinly veiled animosity and have a look that calls to mind a bad taste in the mouth whenever I encounter one. I do not know what is more debasing sometimes, being a sexual pariah or being a sexual target because I am a Black female.

Whether these advances are on campus, in the hood, at your job, at the grocery store, or at the club; remember that you have the right to say no. If they can’t read between the lines, here’s a motherfucking punch line.

There is an old African saying that goes: a man asks an old African man who he is and he responds, “I am we.” It speaks to the oneness of the African people. It speaks of unity, solidarity, love and togetherness. Of responsibility, nobility and pride.

This last week I have been feeling extremely homesick to the point of utter desolation. I am isolated in a small, homogeneous white, conservative town. I miss my hometown. My family. I miss the familiarity of their faces, their voices, the aromas and scents and EWTN in the background as my grandmother speaks loudly in Patois to a great-uncle or great-aunt. I miss the grunge, the wealth and the stories written on the faces of the strangers that pass by. I miss the diversity, I miss seeing Ghanaians, Pakistanis, Azerbaijanis, Turks, Venezuelans, Russians, Koreans, friendly Japanese girls and my Black people.

I am wondering if I should move back to the city. There is so much going on there politically, socially and academically. And, there’s vegan cheesecake. I feel like I’m in a cave, interacting with the world only through social media. How can my son learn about multiculturalism and diversity if he’s stuck in an all white town with all white peers?

It’s a trade off. Our life here materialistically is good. We have a big townhouse with a great deck and yard, we live near the beautiful lake and it’s safe and peaceful. However, when I moved my Black consciousness had not yet been developed. I thought living amongst White people was the epitome of success. Now, I’d give my left toe to highttail it back to the crumbling, but vibrant Parkdale community in Toronto full of crackheads, hipsters and a mix of African, Tibetan and Indian immigrants in the buildings surrounding bourgeois, wealthy white families. That’s my community. And that community cohesion, despite the roaches, bedbugs and ferocious raccoons, is more important than living comfortably in exclusion.

I am we. We is the struggle of the people. As Huey. P. Newton said, “All power to the people”. That doesn’t mean run off and forget the people when things are going good for you. Having my own washing and drying machine is nice. The conversations at the laundromat? Priceless.

It is spring, the time for new growth. And what better way to grow natural Afro hair than protective style giant: single strand twists (SST? I know from past experience that my own hair would grow immensely if kept in SST for a prolonged period at a time of 3 days at least to 2 weeks, pushing it. But I rarely SST my hair in any given year, and never wear SST in public.

Why not? As I reject the Americanized standard of beauty that does not include the natural Black woman, I realize that my reluctance to wear SST is due to my unconscious socialization of American beauty norms. I have been taught that because SST is a Black hairstyle, it is ugly, embarrassing and not fit to be seen in public.

We have tauted the Afro as a powerful symbol of Black Power and Afros are beautiful, potent statements. But what about twists? A twist is a unique hairstyle that can only be upheld without aid by kinky hair. It is inherently Black. But even the natural hair movement is focused on growing hair and wearing it in styles consistent with the beauty standards that had Black women sewing and glueing wigs in. Yes, we will occasionally see twists and braids but these are touted as protective styles, a temporary style to “fix or maintain” or give Afro hair a break. How many naturalistas wear twists or braids as the normal, de facto state of their hair all year round and create styles within that state of hair? Not many. I know I don’t.

But SSTs may be the state of hair best suited for African hair because as we know, keeping our hair “out” all the time is disastrous and drying. I have been so brainwashed that I wonder, even as a challenge, if I can keep my hair in SSTs as a state of hair for a week? A month? Three months? While untwisting my hair becomes the occasional hair state.

This is just a theory, but what do you think? @_ebonninicole_ on Instagram had illustrated above that various, beautiful styles are achievable in twisted form. Basically, the same styles we rock on untwisted hair. I do love my voluminous, untwisted hair. I do. I do. I do. Perhaps it’s time to learn to love my Black hair in a form that is not included in Western beauty ideals.

I’m going to rock SSTs for 3 days and see how I feel, how the people I interact with feel and treat me, and if I can (ever) abandon my Afro, my wash n go and my messy high bun on the regular.

In the last month or so, I’ve rejected popular notions of patriarchal monogamy in favour of polyamory. Or, I’ve stopped lying to myself about what I’ve been practicing for a long time without the epiphany that sexual liberation was possible. There is no need to begin slut-shaming or judging. Just listen me out.

I have always worked hard in my romantic pursuits towards a goal of marriage and monogamy, but recently I discovered this is not what I want. When I actually had the opportunity to meet a traditional man and cater to his needs, this servitude was completely exhausting and demeaning. I was far happier focusing on him for a day and then getting back to my busy life. I was happy.

Then, I met a queer man in a polyamorous relationship with a queer woman, and a heterosexual female. It boggled my mind and I thought it was too radical for me, but we spent a lot of time together and then I realized when we were apart that I was as content and satisfied as with my previous partner. It was balance, it was respectful and it was mutual.

As a queer, feminist woman I feel liberated from the oppressive bondage of monogamous marriage in a patriarchal society. I feel free to pursue my own sexual needs and this doesn’t mean sleeping around with everybody. It just means doing things on my own terms.

Ironically, my attitude towards my appearance has changed since I decided to admit to poly feminism. I do my hair and limited makeup for me. I dress to express, not to impress the male population. I feel happier and more carefree to focus on all aspects of my multifaceted life without thinking there is something wrong with me because I’m not married. I’d rather advocate for social justice, gender and sexual equality and cycling infrastructure than spend my life tied down in some monogamous marriage. Monogamous marriage is a legitimate path to happiness, but that doesn’t mean it’s a one size fit all model for everybody’s needs on this planet.

Natural hair is so beautiful. It is an honour to wear these coils and kinks on my head. The best part of my morning routine is fixing my crown before I depart. And it’s made so much easier when your nighttime routine helps you achieve a shiny, gorgeous style for the next day!

I never liked curlers much because they are tough to sleep on comfortably! But they do provide you with volume and defined curls. I think spring is the time to break out romantic curly ‘dos but since it isn’t warm enough in Canada yet for a wash n go, curlers (especially on individually twisted hair) are the way to go! I am lazy so I used curlers on freshly washed and Shea’d flat twists. Using curlers to boost and shape bangs or side bangs are also a very romantic, spring idea!

Curlers in your hair is just a timeless beauty ritual. Curlers are a staple in every curly girl’s arsenal for defined curls. As I have 4A type hair, my curls are not easily defined by themselves and giving them a boost gives me a boost.

Curls. Coils. Kinks. Our hair is beautiful and amazing. It is not to say it doesn’t have challenges. Every hair type does. But once we embrace the good with the bad, it’s so easy to see that there is so much good! Oh, it’s so good and it feels good to be natural and wear your hair proudly! Now go turn some heads.