I actually have to agree with havok_jro on this. The first one was subpar.

The camera angles were interesting, yet really boring. It seems you were only working with fixed camera angles and have no experience using them to make a proper movie. Camera angles make a movie interesting, a little more thought is needed, it's not about what looks "cool".

The voice acting was dull, which didn't help the poorly directed story. The whole thing was awfully cliché and I didn't understand the characters drive for revenge. In many parts the narrative didn't even make sense.

Consider this constructive criticism. I'm not going to tell you you can't make these machinimas - just take my thoughts in to consideration and don't take it as an insult.