Living Transitions

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Do you ever have those times in life when it seems that the emotions are swirling about in your heart and the thoughts tumbling unceasingly in your head? That is my condition today. I ask myself questions. I wonder. My peace is highly disturbed. This is not the way it is supposed to be!

Ah, but then I remember that the Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He restoreth my soul. He leads beside the still waters.....For just a moment I focus on this very moment--not the past, not the future. God is here. All is quiet. Here is peace.

Friday, August 28, 2009

She's gone. The last one of my brood is in Poland on the other side of the Atlantic.

Jim and I are alone in our new apartment on the edge of town with a view of the expansive lawn that also borders a fished-filled pond with a sandy beach for our enjoyment.

Cooking, loading the dishwasher (haven't had one in years!), sewing, counted cross-stitch, knitting, babysitting for the grandkids, going to church and collecting Social Security. Oh, did I mention the hours on facebook, shutterfly, and the phone with my many children who are all grown up now with their own broods? That's my empty nest life!

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will.

Amen.

My mind twirls with thoughts of changing others. It would make life so much easier if I had the power to change how others interpret things, how they perceive other people, and how they love or do not love. Such is the essence of pride.

Surrender!! Surrender to His Will! Bringing my mind down into my heart where God dwells brings peace and quiet to the twirling thoughts. It is in my heart that I know all is well and will be well. It is where Truth lives. God is in this moment. Serenity is in this moment.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Life throws some curve balls. If curve balls are thrown too hard and hit, they really hurt. I am not sure if it is more painful to be the one hit or to see someone I love hit.

Bekah just was hit by a curve ball in life. This one was thrown really hard and the result is very painful. I feel that pain just as if that ball hit me. Part of being a parent is feeling each child's pain.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on your handmaiden, Rebekah.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

It's time to can the sauerkraut again. Exactly 6 weeks after the weighing, shredding, salting and pounding of the cabbage into the crocks, we wash the jars, heat the lids and process the fresh kraut. People say it's the best they've eaten.

There is something about making your own. When I sit down to a plate of pork roast and MY sauerkraut, there is a deep satisfaction in each bite. It's being a part of a life cycle.

I only wish I had realized this when I was younger. Growing and cooking my own food, making my clothing and that of my family, creating my decorative items and knitting my gifts are so completely fulfilling. They feel so much better. It tastes so much better. Gifts are so much more meaningful as they are created specifically with the loved one in mind. I certainly would have spent more time in my twenties and thirties creating rather than trying to be an acceptable woman in mainstream evangelical circles.

There is nothing wrong with mainstream evangelical circles. It is just that I was trying to be someone I am not. I tried to look the part and play the part. Grateful is all I feel for the fact that I found out the truth about myself before my life is over. My heart is certainly more peaceful since I started living more truthfully.

Now, if I could only learn to be consistent with an orderly home, my life would be complete!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Babies and toddlers do not remember. I beg to differ. A picture remains in my mind to this day. I am approximately 18 months. It is in the parlor of the old Spencer Lake farmhouse. I have on a pink dress with white high top shoes. I have curly hair; perhaps I know this because they are talking about me. That's right, about me! It is only knees I see, but I know they are looking at me. My picture contains an old rug, chairs, and knees. No faces. I do know that Grandma and Grandpa Dunsirn are in the group.

Not too many months later Grandpa Dunsirn dies. Grandma Dunsirn is Lydia; people say I look like her. I agree.

Memories are attached to places and people. I suspect that the reason I know my early memory is that I have lived in 39 homes in 62 years making it easier to place a memory and assign an age to it. Maybe that's a plus for mobility.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It has always been easy for me to journal my negative emotions and experiences. My goal here is to journal positive emotions and experiences. That is not to say there will be no honest negativity here.

Being a verbal person makes it more difficult for me to write. It is always easier to talk. However, there is much to share about life, thoughts, ideas, issues, the world, faith. Maybe this is the easiest and best place to share 62 years of thinking and living.