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Presentation correction

Goodday members,

Well, I am new to this site but I already got some great grammar tips and tricks that helped my writing my presentation for my graduation this year. The presentation is almost finished but it would be great if somebody with a bit more knowledge of the Englisch language would take a look at my presentation. It's not completely finished, but the body work is all done.

For my English presentation I would like to talk about Buddhism, it’s origin where it’s heading. My passion for Buddhism came forward from a Holiday back in 2007 to China and the eastern part of former Tibet. The impressions the Buddhist community gave me while I was there was so amazing an astonishing that these impressions have been the fundamentals for my desire and passion for Buddhism ever since. For me, Buddhism is something special. It’s an indescribable feeling of peace with you inner self and with your environment. It allowed me to overcome the problems of the past and also hopefully the future. It brought me some much needed answers and it slept me trough the hard times of life. Buddhism officially started with the birth of Siddhartha Guatama in an ancient kingdom in the southern part of current Nepal. Before the birth of her son, Maya, the queen of the ancient kingdom, heard from Hinduïst priests that Siddharta was destined for something religiously important. The father of Siddharta, the king of the Ancient empire, refused to believe that Siddhartha was destined for such thing. He wanted that Siddhartha became king after he self would die. At Siddharta’s birth Maya died and this would be the start of a troublesome childhood for the little Siddhartha. Because Siddharta’s father did not want him to live a religious life, he decided that Siddhartha could only live inside the walls of the palace. Therefor he had no idea about the lifestyle, poverty and religions of the people outside the walls. Still, he thaught that he had all what he desired. He had women, wealth and in some matter happiness from his father. On the age of 21 Siddhartha married his cousin and they got a son. The story goes that the prince knew deep inside himself that something was wrong with the way he was living. Not long after Siddhartha got a son he made plans to go outside the walls only for short walk for the first time in his life. It took him a while, but eventually he managed to get approval of his father. On his little trip he crossed 4 men; An old man, a sick man, a dead man and a religious man. The religious man had no possessions and only lived from what other people donated him. But the religious man was happy and Siddhartha saw some kind of happiness in the religious man’s eyes for which Siddhartha had always been longing for. From the moment Siddhartha saw that religious man, he miraculously understood that nothing in live lasts forever and an answer to the problems of life could not be covered by wealth or possessions. He decided to live in poverty and to leave everything he had behind including his wife and son. He left the palace the very same day. After that, he saw many spiritual teachers with all their own approach about how to achieve some form of enlightenment. For example, he tried starving himself in order to get answers to life and death. When he almost died of famine, and still had no answers, he was offered some rice by a poor farmer’s daughter. Then he realized that the answer of life could not be found in death itself. From that point on, he started teaching and learning from a more life cherisching point of view. Eventually he found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree. At that moment he already had thousends for students from all over the northern part of India. A religion called Buddhism made it’s way into society and started competiting the prominantly present Hinduïsm. Buddhists believe that from the moment Siddhartha achieved enlightenment, he would no more reincarnate in some alter life form. As you may already know, Buddhists believe in reincarnation and see life on earth as burden instead of something that should be cherished. Therefor eternal death or ‘Nirvana’ is every Buddhist’s ultimate achievement, this achievement would mean that somebody who gets enlighted would no longer reïncarnate. Enlightment itself is not achieved by only living without sins, in contrary with many western religions where you can achieve some kind of heaven only by living well. No, in order to achieve enlightment, one must have multiple life times of dedication to Buddhism itself. After Siddhartha, also called the first Buddha, died, Buddhism slowly spread into entire Asia trough the Silk Route. The knowledge written by Buddhists also found it’s way to Europe and The Middle East but it did not thrive, mainly because all these places already had a religion and the people who lived there were not open to another religion. But in whole Asia Buddhism did attach to it’s population and nowadays Buddhism is the largest religion in Asia, in matter of followers.

Re: Presentation correction

[QUOTE=lars1134;826044]Goodday members,

Well, I am new to this site but I already got some great grammar tips and tricks that helped me writing my presentation for my graduation this year. The presentation is almost finished but it would be great if somebody with a bit more knowledge of the English language would take a look at my presentation. It's not completely finished, but the body work is all done.

For my English presentation I would like to talk about Buddhism, its origin and where it’s heading. My passion for Buddhism dates back to a holiday in China and the eastern part of former Tibet in 2007. The impressions the Buddhist community gave me while I was there was so amazing and astonishing that these impressions have become the fundamentals for my desire and passion for Buddhism ever since. For me, Buddhism is something special. It’s an indescribable feeling of peace with my inner self and with my environment. It allowed me to overcome the problems of the past and also hopefully the future. It brought me some urgently needed answers and lead me through the hard times of life. Buddhism officially started with the birth of Siddhartha Guatama to an ancient kingdom in the southern part of current Nepal. Before the birth of her son, Maya, the queen of the ancient kingdom, heard from Hindu priests that Siddhartha was destined for something religiously important. The father of Siddhartha, the king of the ancient empire, refused to believe that Siddhartha was destined for such a thing. He wanted that Siddhartha to become king after his own death. At Siddhartha’s birth Maya died and this would be the start of a troublesome childhood for the little Siddhartha. Because Siddhartha’s father did not want him to live a religious life, he decided that Siddhartha could only live inside the walls of the palace. Therefore he had no idea of the lifestyle, poverty and religions of the people outside the walls. Still, he thought that he had all what he desired. He had women, wealth and in some matter happiness from his father. At the age of 21 Siddhartha married his cousin and they had a son. The story goes that the prince knew deep in his heart that something was wrong with the way he was living. Not long after Siddhartha’s son was born he made plans to go outside the walls only for a short walk for the first time in his life. It took him a while, but eventually he managed to win his father’s approval. On his little trip he came across four men; an old man, a sick man, a dead man and a religious man. The religious man had no possessions and only lived from what other people donated him. But the religious man was happy and Siddhartha saw some kind of happiness in the religious man’s eyes for which Siddhartha had always been longing for. From the moment Siddhartha saw that religious man, he miraculously understood that nothing in life lasts forever and an answer to the problems of life could not be covered by wealth or possessions. He decided to live in poverty and to leave everything he had behind including his wife and son. He left the palace the very same day.

The rest follows - the text was too long to post in one piece .- over 1000 letters.februar, no teacher

Re: Presentation correction

[QUOTE=lars1134;826044]Goodday members,

The rest of the presentation:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that, he saw many spiritual teachers with all their own approach about how to achieve some form of enlightenment. Thus, he tried to starve in order to get answers to life and death. When he almost died of famine, and still had no answers, he was offered some rice by a poor farmer’s daughter. Then he realized that the answer of life could not be found in death itself. From that point on, he started teaching and learning from a more life-affirming point of view. Eventually he found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree. At that moment he already had thousands of students from all over the northern part of India. A religion, called Buddhism made its way into society and started competing with the prominently present Hinduism. Buddhists believe that from the moment Siddhartha achieved enlightenment, he would no more reincarnate in some alter life form. As you may already know, Buddhists believe in reincarnation and see life on earth as burden instead of something that should be cherished. Therefor eternal death or ‘Nirvana’ is every Buddhist’s ultimate achievement, this achievement would mean that somebody who gets enlightened would no longer reincarnate. Enlightenment itself is not achieved by only living without sins, in contrary with many western religions where you can achieve some kind of heaven only by living well. No, in order to achieve enlightenment, one must have multiple life times of dedication to Buddhism itself. After Siddhartha, also called the first Buddha, died, Buddhism slowly spread into entire Asia trough the Silk Route. The knowledge written by Buddhists also found its way to Europe and the Middle East but it did not thrive, mainly because all these places already had a religion and the people who lived there were not open to another religion. But on the whole, in Asia Buddhism has attached great importance to its population and nowadays Buddhism is the largest religion in Asia, in the matter of followers.