I don't want to be here

I am feeling very angry. My husband is in the hospital with my infant. She had a seizure last night, vomited and became unconscious. We rushed her to the ER and they have been doing some tests, x-rays, cat scan.... It could be something as little as a infection or something major. But my husband sent me home. I don't want to be here. I am here because my 3 oldest children need me. They are worried about their sister and it was scary for them to see her like that.

Time has never marched any slower than this and I can feel each tick of the second hand. But I must stay busy. Finish organizing the house....pack bags in case we are transfered to Denver. Call family and let them know. Or maybe not. Maybe I shouldn't call until we know for sure.

I am a nervous wreck. The kids keep asking where baby Valorie is. They want hotdogs for breakfast. I don't want to be here. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.

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also known as Messy Jess. 4 beautiful children...a forgiving husband and of course the family dog. Just kidding. NO DOG! Bad DOG! SIT! We have no family pets the kids messes are big enough and the sad fact they are allergic to EVERY THING. We are the perfect UNperfect family and we get through life by kneeling when we cannot stand and pictures....LOTS and LOTS of pictures! Life is too short and too fragile. We take our kids on dates and we LOVE Jesus and we take Life one day at a time.