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Trump calls on Putin to return St Basil’s Cathedral to Walt Disney Company

In a surprise move President Trump has telephoned Vladimir Putin to demand Russia hands back the iconic St Basil’s Cathederal to Disney by the end of July.

In a White House press briefing after the the exchange the President said: ‘Disney is a great American company, in fact one of the very greatest American companies, almost right up there with The Trump Organisation. They told me that this Cathederal was made for their movie Mary Poppins, but that it was stolen by The Soviets. Well, Mr Putin, we want it back!’

However it’s understood that The President’s request has fallen on deaf ears and this in turn has seen the two most powerful leaders in the world forced into a potentially dangerous standoff.

BBC resident film buff, Mark Kermode, has now offered to mediate in the crisis. He told Breakfast’s Naga Munchetty: ‘I’ve emailed both men and suggested a compromise whereby Italy deconstructs St Basil’s brick by brick and then rebuilds it in St Mark’s Square Venice. Everyone saves face that way, although so far I’ve heard nothing back from either of them.’

Meanwhile one of the stars of Mary Poppins, Dick van Dyke, who played the chimney sweep Bert, commented: ‘Cor blimey Marry Boppins,’ in what’s generally accepted as the worst affected Cockney accent in movie history.