Ramblings from the Stands ...

With the F1 summer break rapidly coming to a close, it’s time to pack away the EDM inspired rainbow spiked kaleidoscope goggles and LED rave gloves and reflect on what’s been a rather one sided processional affair occasionally infused with moments of brilliance. I think all would agree that the white flags have already been waved. Lewis Hamilton and Mercedes are the 2019 world champions. Fair play, Mercedes are the best team in the paddock and Lewis is the better man within the team. The results have been pretty staggering: Ten wins from twelve races, seven 1-2 finishes and a clean 150 point advantage over their nearest rivals. I guess this shouldn’t really feel like such a surprise as Mercedes have dominated the current hybrid era, but I, like many other “dreamers”, bought into the romantic notion of the Scuderia turning the clocks back to the beginning of the century and painting the podiums of the world scarlet red. I was so bullish on Ferrari prior to Australia that I had Lewis winning 8 races total to 7 for Vettel (Lewis already has 8 wins!) and I made the critical error of picking Vettel and Leclerc over the Mercedes boys on one of my fantasy league teams. Ouch.

So for a quick refresher on how the Silver Arrows team almost achieved perfection, here is a recap of the year.

Australia: Boundless optimism for a great season long fight leading up to the first practice quickly gave way to disbelief by the end of qualifying, and minor depression come Sunday night. Merc hit the streets of Melbourne in a class of their own and how ‘bout that Bottas? Valteri beat Lewis off the line and left the five time champ in his dust.

Bahrain: LeClerc suddenly looked like a combo of Senna, Prost, Fangio and Nuvolari all in one. He dominated qualifying and then crushed the rest of the field in the race until a mechanical issue let him down. Vettel looked lost by comparison and resorted back to spinning the car as soon as he got into a wheel to wheel scrap. At this point I was totally confused. Ferrari or Mercedes?

China: The balance of power was immediately back to Mercedes, but on a personal level, this weekend was so much more. I like to refer to this past April 13th as Le 24 Heures du Buzzardry. On that Saturday am I woke up at 3:00am, watched qualifying, drove to the SF airport, flew to Long Beach where I spent the entire day as a fan watching the Indycar and IMSA series in action, and finished my night at a Holiday Inn curled up on a suspect queen bed watching the dull China race live with one eye half cracked open into the wee hours.

Baku: Leclerc looked threatening to Mercedes until he stuffed it during qualifying into the side of a castle likely once occupied by Peter The Great. This left the door open for Mercedes to cruise to an easy 1-2, with Bottas impressively coming out on top.

Spain: Did they run a Spanish GP this year? If they did it must have been a snoozer. Hamilton beats Bottas for the 5th consecutive 1-2 finish. On a positive note, for the first time this year Max beats both Ferrari’s to show that the RBR-Honda package is coming along. In Max We Trust.

Monaco: These cars are way too fast and wide to race at Monaco so the race was always going to be won on Saturday, which Hamilton duly did, with a scorching lap of 1:10.166. For reference, Ayrton Senna’s 1988 pole time where the in-car camera looks like it’s on fast forward and he basically admitted later that he was having an outer body experience during the legendary lap, was a 1:23.998. They may have opened up some of the curbing and slightly changed the radius of a few corners over the years, but when I saw that it felt like a slap in the face. Wow. Go technology! And cheers to Vettel for finally breaking the Mercedes 1-2 dominance with a fine 2nd place.

Canada: Leave it to Canada and the great city of Montreal to produce a thrilling race. The Ferrari’s, utilizing their horse & battery power advantage over Mercedes, brought the fight to Lewis and Vettel finally prevailed…….until the stewards decided he didn’t. I get what the rule book says, but I’m from the “Let the Kids Play” school and would have let Vettel keep the win. If you punt somebody or weave all over the place under breaking I’ll penalize you. Run off the track, don’t gain an advantage, recover and keep the guy behind you? I give that two thumbs up and a play-on.

Austria: The 2019 season officially begins! Max miraculously tracks down Leclerc who had comfortably led for 60+ laps and after a fierce two lap battle, pulls a Nigel Mansell like late breaking whip lunge to take the lead and win in front of the Max Army. Great stuff.

England: Another exciting race with the Mercedes boys fighting on track, Max and Leclerc continuing their Austrian scuffle and Vettel again losing his mind and punting Max. On paper it looks like another easy Mercedes 1-2, but I would take a race like that every week.

Germany: Ahh rain, the great equalizer. Hockenheim was as crazy a race as you will ever see and Max prevailed mainly because he kept the car in between the lines and avoided the treaterchous stadium drag strip-skating rink. I don’t think I’ve even seen a section of track that slippery before. It’s gimmicky but I kind of like this idea: Every race will have 1 corner where the runoff is freshly paved asphalt with the sprinklers on.

Hungary: A beautiful straight fight between the two best drivers in F1. Max, after finally securing his first pole position, kept Lewis at bay from the drop of the green when the Mercedes team rolled the dice and pitted Lewis for fresh rubber that left him with 20+ seconds to make up in 22 laps. This was Schumacher-Ferrari-Hungary 1998 all over again. Lewis put the hammer down and breezed by Max with a couple of laps left for a signature win that has to rate as one of his best. Even watching from my couch thousands of miles away, you could see that driver and car were pushing in perfect harmony and in a zone seldom achieved.

Totals:

Lewis – 8 wins

Bottas- 2 wins

Max – 2 wins

Ferrari – 0.0 – Goose Eggs!!

F1.5

Sainz – 4

Norris – 2

Ricciardo – 2

Magnussen – 2

Perez – 1

Kvyat – 1

For some, this recap may read as a dreary, sad reflection of another lost season, but if you look on the bright side, 5 of the past 6 races have been excellent, and there is hope for more excitement on the horizon. Right out of the gate, Ferrari may have a legit shot at glory in Spa and Monza. Max is going to be a force in Austin, Mexico and Brazil. Singapore is always a wildcard race, Bottas flies in Russia and Suzuka is arguably the best rack in the world. Hamilton may go 9-9, but he’s going to have a battle on his hands most weekends.

Silly Season

Compared to a year ago at this time, this silly season has been relatively calm with the exception of RBR calling up Albon to replace Gasly from Spa onwards, but the door could be kicked wide open if Mercedes decide to promote Ocon into Bottas’s seat. This would set off a round of musical chairs with Hulkenberg possibly on the move from Renault and Grosjean in trouble at Haas. Otherwise, it looks like Kubica’s seat at Williams will be available for the right price and it remains to be seen if Red Bull will keep Gasly in the family at Toro Rosso. If Bottas keeps the drive, Mercedes would likely release Ocon and I could see him landing at either Renault or Haas.

However, if you give me the liberty to create my own silly season, here would be the 2020 lineups for Mercedes, Ferrari and RBR:

Mercedes: Hamilton, Alonso

Ferrari: Leclerc, Ricciardo

RBR: Max, Vettel

How’s that for 22 entertaining weekends?

Random Thoughts

Before the year began, I was intrigued to see how each of the new teammate pairings would stack up, in particular, all of these youngsters in teams against more established vets and after 12 races the picture is pretty clear.

Lewis vs Bottas: Bottas is quick, but it’s business as usual. Advantage Lewis

Seb vs Leclerc: Seb has more points but I give the advantage to Leclerc. Yes he’s made a few crucial mistakes but so has Vettel, and for that matter, so has Ferrari! And why is Ferrari still putting Vettel on the choice tire strategy which often dumps out Leclerc into the clutches of the Red Bull? Yes Leclerc needs a year to publicly make a few errors, but come on Ferrari, do the right thing and build up the kids confidence.

Max vs Gasly: Yikes! What a route. I’m excited to see if Albon fares any better

Sainz vs Norris: Norris is darn fast over one lap but hasn’t had a lot of luck in the races. Carlos is a steady point scoring machine so both drivers are on the up.

Kvyat vs Albon: I would call this a draw, which is why it makes sense to try Albon in the hot seat for 9 races to get a true assessment of what they have.

Ricciardo vs Hulkenberg: Neither driver is being helped by the underperforming factory team, but Danny Ric has shown flashes of brilliance with a P-4 on the grid in Canada so I’ll give him the slight advantage.

Kimi vs Giovinazzi: Kimi has clearly had the upper hand over the young Ferrari protege so it could be the kiss of death for the Italian, as I see his F1 career path as Ferrari or bust. Like his days at Lotus, Kimi is tough to beat when he’s left to do his own thing.

Perez vs Stroll: Sergio has dominated Stroll in qualifying, but Stroll can score points. He showed this at Williams, and he’s doing it again this year at Racing Point-Force India-Spyker-Midland-Jordan GP. Hard to believe but he currently holds an 18-13 point advantage over Perez.

Magnussen vs Grosjean: Netflix has to be licking their chops as the Haas pairing has gone from one silly issue to the next. The team is totally lost on tire management so both drivers are looking like morons on Sundays. Tough place to be.

Russell vs Kubica: Williams started the year inexplicably 2 seconds slower than the Racing Point cars so it was immediately clear that this was a lost season. That being said, Russell has made the most of it and has dominated the Polish prodigy, likely keeping him in the good graces of his German employers and potentially lining him up as Hamilton’s replacement when the time comes.

Final Mention: If you are an F1 fan past or present, you have to check out Tom Clarkson’s podcast, Beyond The Grid. It is a treasure trove of F1 gold. His weekly guests cover every aspect of the sport and leave me totally engrossed. On a recent road trip I did the Derek Warwick, Jean Todt, Alex Wurz triple play and didn’t want to get out of the car when I reached my destination. Even if the current racing is crap (#DRSSUCKS), the individuals who have made it to the top of this sport are fascinating individuals. Two thumbs way up!

It seems like just a few short weeks ago that Hamilton, Vettel and Alonso were putting the final touches on the 2018 season with a synchronized doughnut display worthy of a perfect 10 score by the judges at the Yas Marina circuit, but here we are with new cars, new rules and regulations, new driver pairings and fresh optimism for a new championship. The pursuit of building the perfect racing machine is never ending for the ten constructors comprising the grid, so let’s dive right in and make some predictions about where they stand as we close in on the green flag at Melbourne.

Disclaimer- I’ll just get this out of the way now: F1 cars should be loud and should be a handful to drive, even for a top flight professional who has been racing since the age of five. Unfortunately, the 2019 cars do not fit this description.

The word for the 2019 season is PRESSURE. F1 is always a pressure packed environment, but I can’t remember a season where you have more young talent trying to fight their way to the top while the established old guard is fighting to keep the status quo. This will be the ultimate game of driver Survivor and more than one career will be made or broken over the coming 21 events.

Constructors Battle: It’s Ferrari vs Mercedes in a flat out development race that will continue all the way to Abu Dhabi. I’d love to say that Red Bull Honda are going to join this fight right out of the gate, but I think they will need a season before they are legitimately in the title hunt. The trend the past 2 seasons has been for Ferrari to start the season with a slightly better package, only to lose out to the German marque as the season progresses. In an attempt to remedy this situation, Ferrari sacked the movie star cool Maurizio Arrivabene as team principal and replaced him with Mattia Binotto. I don’t know too much about Binotto, but he has the look of a hard core engineer so maybe the Scuderia will get back to the glory days of Jean Todt and Ross Brawn at the helm.

Driver Battle: The 2019 title fight will be all about 5 time world champion Lewis Hamilton, 4 time World Champion Sebastian Vettel, Dutch Sensation Max Verstappen and the relatively unknown, Charles Leclerc. Hopefully this will be epic, but what really has me jazzed up are the inter team battles from Merc all the way down to Williams. There will be 10 mini wars taking place in each garage up and down the paddock that will be exciting to track throughout the year. Here’s a closer look:

Mercedes: Lewis vs Bottas. We’ve seen this movie before. Hamilton and Bottas start the year relatively equal over the first quarter of the season, but then the Finn runs into some bad luck (Baku puncture while leading) and before you know it, Lewis is miles ahead in the points and Toto Wolff is referring to Bottas as the “wing man.” Bottas then seems to become demoralized and is trounced by his teammate after the summer break. With Estaban Ocon waiting in the garage, this will be the last chance for Bottas to prove he belongs with the sports finest team. He is going to need to pull a Nico and rattle Lewis early or else he’ll be looking for work in the mid field for 2020 (if he’s lucky). Prediction for the higher classified car at the end of each GP: Lewis 16 – Bottas 5

Ferrari: Vettel vs Leclerc. Team leader Vettel loses the comfort of a compliant #2 in Kimi and suddenly finds himself having to prove his worth against a young man who clearly has some genius behind the wheel. Leclerc was the 2016 GP3 champ, the 2017 GP2 champ, and last year was the breakout rookie for Sauber. This battle should be fascinating. Vettel still has the speed to win more titles but his racecraft was below average on more than one occasion last year. Leclerc had the Sauber in positions it had no place being in last year so there will be multiple weekends when Vettel will have to take a backseat to the Monégasque prodigy. Will they be able to coexist if this happens? Who will crack first? Prediction: Vettel 14 – Leclerc 7

Red Bull: Verstappen vs Gasly: Max comes into this season as the true team leader and should thrive without having to worry about Danny Ric stealing his thunder. Gasly will be desperate to prove to the Red Bull brass that they made the right decision and will be on the limit and then some trying to keep Max in his sights. He will also be lobbing a healthy dose of schadenfreude at the Toro Roso drivers in hopes of keeping his seat safe. Gasly is legit and will be quick, but I’m calling that this is the year Max becomes the full package and takes the next step towards becoming the world champ. He reminds me of Senna and Schumacher in his unwavering self belief and dedication to his craft. The guy truly was bred to be in this position and I still believe he will go down as one of the 10 best ever when it’s all said and done. Prediction: Max 16 – Gasly 5.

Renault: Hulkenberg vs Ricciardo: For Nico, this is a huge opportunity to prove to the paddock that it’s been his equipment holding him back over the years and he really is worthy of a big time ride. It’s insane to think that he’s never had a podium after 9 full seasons, but now he’ll face a motivated teammate in his prime with 29 podiums and 7 wins to his name. For Danny Ric, first he’ll have to be on top of his game to get the best of Nico before he can focus on building a team around him with big aspirations and factory resources. The Aussie can certainly get it done on the track, but it remains to be seen if he has that ruthless political side that is necessary to bury his teammate and take a team to the top. Prediction: Ricciardo 13 – Hulkenberg 8

Haas: Grosjean vs Magnussen: The French artist vs The Viking. It seems that when the mood is right, the lighting is right, the wine is tasting splendid and she’s giving him the look, Grosjean can deliver big time. On most others days he’s pretty dreadful. Magnussen on the other hand is all right foot and big balls. It’s a strange driver pairing and I don’t think they are helped by their strategists on race day compared to the rest of the field. If Grosjean can keep the car off the walls then he should prevail, but if he has a repeat of 2018 he will likely be looking at a career in FE or WEC. Prediction: Grosjean 11 – Magnussen 10.

Alfa Romeo: Raikkonen vs Giovinazzi: I just love this pairing. At this point Kimi is sticking around purely for the love of driving an F1 car on the limit. He may be the only guy on the grid without an ounce of pressure and will likely thrive under the circumstances. Giovanazzi on the other hand is an Italian rookie in the unofficial Ferrari junior team going against a man they (Ferrari) just sacked because he couldn’t get the job done next to Vettel. Talk about pressure! If he can’t beat Kimi on a regular basis then Ferrari will likely go with another option when the time comes to replace Vettel. Prediction: Kimi 13 – Giovinazzi 8.

Racing Point: Perez vs Stroll: Another intriguing battle pitting a young driver in Stroll out to prove that he’s more than just the son of the team owner against an established vet in Perez fighting to keep his reputation intact. If Stroll does prove to be a worthy competitor, look for more fireworks along the lines of Ocon vs Perez. Checo made it very clear over the past two years that he will drive his teammate into the wall on a regular basis if necessary. Here’s hoping for a Carlos Slim – Lawrence Stroll chest bumping, finger pointing argument in the back of the garage at Monza. Prediction: Perez 16 – Stroll 5.

McLaren: Sainz vs Norris: Yet another great case of a veteran at the ripe old age of 24 in Sainz trying to keep his career trajectory headed in the right direction. To do so, he will have to comprehensively squash British boy wonder, Lando Norris. Sainz didn’t do himself any favors with a mediocre year at Renault alongside Hulkenberg in 2018 so his F1 career now likely depends on leading a McLaren resurgence. At 19, Lando comes to F1 with a really cool name, a world karting title, the Euro F3 title and a series runner in GP2 under his belt and no doubt will be determined to show that he’s the next Lewis Hamilton. If McLaren produces another dog these guys will likely both be tossed to the scrapheap. This should be fun. Prediction: Sainz 14 – Norris 7.

Toro Rosso: Kvyat vs Albon: This is an intriguing battle between two drivers that have not had an easy road to the 2019 F1 grid. For Kvyat, this is his third go round with the Red Bull brass. The first two attempts obviously didn’t end well but maybe a year away at the Ferrari finishing school has given the Russian the right tools to maximize his talents. Somebody with some pull at Red Bull obviously rates this guy because getting a third chance is unheard of. For Albon, just getting to F1 has been a minor miracle because he didn’t have a Brinks truck full of cash or factory backing for much of his time in the junior categories and his results were all over the board. Last year in GP2 was a true breakout for the 22 year old by winning four races so it will fascinating to see how he gets along with the pressure of Red Bull on his shoulders. Prediction: Kyvat 12 – Albon 9.

Williams: Russell vs Kubica: And bringing up the rear of the field may just be the best interteam battle of them all. Kubica, essentially driving with one arm after an eight year layoff, is taking on yet another British Boy Wonder, the 2017 GP3 champ and 2018 GP2 champ, Mercedes protege George Russell. I’ve always considered the Pole to be in the Alonso, Lewis, Vettel class prior to his devastating injury but taking on a kid with the golden boots may be a tall order. I’d love to see Kubica dominate the kid, but if the Williams is consistently bringing up the rear of the field it will likely play into the hands of youth and exuberance. Prediction: Russell 14 – Kubica 7.

So with that said, here are the 2019 Predictions:

Hamilton – 8 wins

Vettel – 7 wins

Leclerc – 2 wins

Verstappen – 3 wins

Bottas – 1 win

Gasly

Ricciardo

Hulkenberg

Kimi

Perez

Giovinazzi

Grosjean

Magnussen

Sainz

Stroll

Norris

Kvyat

Albon

Russell

Kubica

And just for good measure here are 5 Bold Predictions:

-Last year there was one podium finish for those not driving for Mercedes, Ferrari and Red Bull. For 2019, there will be………..2!

-Kimi Raikkonen will be spotted in a rooftop bar in Singapore drinking cocktails 2 hours before the start of the GP and will then finish 4th.

-Liberty Media will make such a mess of the 2021 rules and prize money distribution package that the 2021 grid will be comprised of the following teams: Williams, Racing Point, USF1, Gentilozzi Racing, Andrea Moda F1, Harding-Steinbrenner, RuSport, Jaguar, Minardi and MasterCard Lola F1.

-Vettel is going to toss away a 20 point advantage to Hamilton over the final 3 races and will retire to the German countryside to focus on German Beard competitions.

-Lewis will capture his 6th title and will then retire to focus on his global brand and get his first of many plastic surgeries that will eventually lead to him resembling the late Michael Jackson. The 2020 Mercedes lineup will be Ocon and Russell.

“Alright man you can do this. Hands on the keys. One…Two…Three…type! Let’s do it. F this writer’s block! You got this.”

Yes it’s taken a long time to complete my hoop trilogy, but the time has come. It’s been 30 years now since these events took place so the timing feels right. Plus the universe has been speaking to me lately. In November a few of us old time ’89 guys played in the alumni game and received a warm reception before shuffling around against the current varsity squad. And in the span of the past few weeks, I’ve had two people randomly bring up our final game, so I’m feeling the need to tell the story once more. Remember, I’m doing this from memory and the aid of a scrapbook filled with newspaper clippings that I found in my parents garage, so facts may be distorted. Also, I apologize if I portray any of the characters in this story in a negative light. One such individual from an earlier version has been emailing me over the past few years threatening severe bodily harm. The whole point of this is to serve as a lighthearted trip down memory lane. To quote the great Ralph Barbieri, “Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”

So to kick this thing off, I need to step into my trusty time machine and dial it back to ’89. I’m hearing Guns N Roses and bumping 808 bass. My phone is nowhere to be found. I feel like I’m floating down the hall without a care in the world………

The Buzzer sounds and there are 8 minutes up on the retro light bulb scoreboard off in the corner above the visitors basket. The boisterous crowd is in the moment and charged to see a show. The booming voice of Chuck D rapping over a manic groove is blasting through a horrible PA system, creating an environment that feels on the verge of total chaos. I’m quickly hit with a shot of adrenaline, giving me a flash of giddiness and butterflies all at once. I momentarily make eye contact with my father in the huddle and get an encouraging nod in return. Coach Klenow is barking out last minute instructions to deaf ears as we put our hands in and form a circle. I look into the eyes of my teammates and a calmness envelops me. We break the huddle and walk out onto the floor with a sense of purpose and an unbreakable confidence. I size up the guy who I’m assigned to guard like a prize fighter hearing pre-fight instructions, slap hands with our foes, and dig into the circle. It’s Friday night in the Winter of 1989 and it’s showtime.

For those of you who have been following this saga, when I last left you in Part 1.5 I was entering the gym in the first weeks of the school year on a hobbled ankle, unsure if I would ever be the same. I had gone from a confident, fit and free flowing 16 year old to a crusty 17 year old with bad ankles. I hadn’t run for weeks and the thought of jumping again in traffic was intimidating. On top of my mental hurdles, I now had to contend with two bulky air casts strapped inside of my shoes that felt like ski boots, making changing directions feel unnatural. For those who have played any competitive sport, you know that it’s imperative to be free of that negative voice in your head telling you that you are not up to the task. As I got on the floor that first time, my negative voice was yelling at me through a megaphone three inches from my face. I felt like I was in quicksand, while the guys around me were in fast forward mode. The floor looked fuzzy. Defenders were everywhere. The ball felt slippery. The lactic acid was cascading like a waterfall throughout my body. In other words, I was fucked!

Luckily, I had September and October to ease back into this thing and I had youth on my side so my only option was to get back to training and try to be the best damn teenager that I could be. If you had to rate high-school seniors on a mental maturity scale from 0-10, with 10 being the most mature and 0 being a wild banshee, I was somewhere around a 4. Yes I attended class, didn’t do drugs, wasn’t having wild sex, genuinely liked my parents etc., but my personal priority list of fun and entertainment for the Fall of ‘88 looked something like this:

Sit in the back of SAT prep class and engage in a running Kiss concert drawing contest with fellow knuckleheads

Hang out at AM/PM on Friday nights hoping for news of a house party, a bleach burnout, a DeMarco sighting, or somebody willing to buy kids beer for $20.

Watch Greg Chalberg perform amazing doughnuts in his ’67 Nova.

Eat Round Table Pizza

Watch Knots Landing

Get accepted into college???? Really?? (Well, “That’s for you Mom!)

*When I refer to growing a mullet, or Works as it was called in these parts back then, I have to admit that I was never truly bold enough to let it rip ala Dwayne Schintzius. My works (mullet) and stache were more of the subtle young Jeff Gordon variety. Just enough to make somebody pause and take a second glance, but not enough to stop somebody dead in their tracks. What I had going for me though was a unique style referred to as Sheepskin Works by my fellow Works Brothers. Picture kinky, frizzy, borderline afro teenage hair that could also serve as an accurate weather barometer and you will get the idea. I remember walking into class the morning of the Scorpions show alongside a prominent “A-List” girl who I considered a semi friend and she just started laughing at my appearance. And this wasn’t the kind of laughter that says, “I totally get what you are going for you funny awesome dude.” No, this was a laugh that implied, “Nope. You will still be a virgin after this weekend. Nice try moron!” I attempted to play it off by saying the look was strictly being crafted for the big show that night, but I went straight to the razor the following morning to shave the stache portion.

**The thought of driving through Atherton and Sharon Heights today in a four wheel drift that would make Juha Kankkunen smile is downright preposterous. I can still remember drifting down Continental in Sharon Heights with Niven riding shotgun at such crazy angles that we could wave to people in their kitchens and living rooms on one side of the street and then rotate the car 180 to wave to their neighbors across the street. Are you kidding me? I would have been made out to be the devil himself on Nextdoor and social media if I attempted that stunt this afternoon. Never even received a ticket. What a great time to be alive!

Right about here it seems appropriate to que up the Survivor mega-hit, Eye Of The Tiger, to set the mood for what’s to come.

While many of my friends were slogging through another abhorrent 2 win season on the gridiron, I was training after school two to three days a week with the amazing Coach Ben Parks. I loved it! One day he would have us in the wrestling room wearing full size boxing gloves and doing 5 punch combos until we dropped and next day we’d be doing circuit training on equipment from the 1940’s. I felt like I was partaking in a Jack Lalanne workout, complete with squats and calf raises while balancing a buddy on my back. And just when I thought we were done, he would call for the dreaded chair dips. The man loved to punish people with chair dips. I can still to this day hear that booming voice counting out the dips and yelling, “Rotate!”

Time Out: I may be mistaken but I think our varsity football team won two games over two years in ‘87 and ‘88! No disrespect to the guys who worked their tails off daily, but that should not have happened. As MA proved this year by winning the state 3-AA title, there is always enough talent on that campus to field a competitive football team so here is my ‘88 fantasy lineup:

QB- Ced Reed

RB- Charlie Smith

FB- Cosie P

WR- Atiba Williams

WR- James Smith

WR- Kendrick Reed

TE- Dee Edwards

P/K Returner – Jason Johnson

I’ll stop there but even with 5 stiffs on the o-line, that crew would put up 30/gm.

As November was quickly upon us, it was finally time to officially get the gang back together. There was immediately a feel good factor as we hit the court for our first practice of the year, but it didn’t take long to get down to business and focus on our singular goal. It was win state or fail. Nothing else was acceptable. We put the pressure squarely on our backs and were more than ready for the challenge. Unlike the year before, this wasn’t going to be a Cinderella Story. Cal-Hi Sports had us ranked #6 in the State DII pre-season poll, but that just served as fodder to prove them wrong.

We only had 2 returning starters from the previous year, but the cohesiveness and chemistry of this new group was evident immediately. We liked each other. We knew how to press each other’s buttons and pick one another up when it was necessary. Everybody had a well defined role and there were no egos getting in the way. It was sort of a minor miracle, especially at a public school, but it was a credit to the character of the individuals involved.

Here then, were the ‘88-’89 MA Bears:

Starting Five

F-C – Senior – Atiba Williams: Atiba was a rangy, quick 6’5” slasher who could do everything on the offensive end. He could shoot the 3, score in traffic, post on the block, dribble drive with a pull up mid range J, and get out on the break and finish with a crowd pleasing dunk. Just a few months earlier, I witnessed Atiba foul out Shaq in 3 qtrs with his endless variety of contorted moves in the paint. It was fun to be Atiba on a hoop court. And he was such a loveable guy that he quickly became Big Man On Campus (BMOC) and enjoyed all of the spoils that came with that crown.

PG – Senior – Cedric Reed: First and foremost, Ced was our leader. He was our QB on the floor and the voice in the locker room who said, “We’re not losing fellas!” Nothing felt worse than being on Ced’s bad side. He had D1 speed and handles, and could get in the lane to find a cutter at will. He also spearheaded our full court press which produced turnovers in bunches. If he needed to score 30 he could have, but Ced played within the system and ran the team like a seasoned pro. If it weren’t for bad knees, Ced would have also been playing D1.

SG – Senior – Kendrick Reed: Scoring machine! At about 6’2” and high school skinny, K Reed didn’t look fast or overly athletic, but his scoring was relentless and he has to rank up there with the most prolific scorers in CCS history for a single season. He could shoot the 3, make a variety of mid range runners and surprise with a dunk in traffic. And did I mention confidence? Ken never saw a shot that he couldn’t make. Atiba, Ced and Ken pressed at frenetic pace and Ken would often benefit with a layup after a steal. He had such a knack for being in the right place to score that I would have loved to have seen what he would have done in a league like the Big West.

PF – Junior – Dee Edwards: Big Dee magically arrived on campus at the start of the year and at about 6’3” and 230lbs, immediately filled the role of rebounding machine. At first I was a little nervous about this unknown fitting in, but it was immediately clear that he was a hard working, nice guy with no ego. He was also a capable scorer inside and had nice hands to catch most of Ced’s lasers. As the season progressed he proved to be an unsung hero.

F – Senior – Steve Bulifant: Yes I guess I have to add commentary about myself. Maybe I should have Ced or Atiba provide a few words? On second thought, that may be a bad idea as I prefer to bask in the glow of distorted memories. At 6’5” and a fighting 175lbs, I could shoot and pass with the best of them, my problem was I was too slow to keep up. When we got into the half court I could always find the open man or knock down a shot, but we were seldom in a true half court set. So I found little ways to help and proved adept at getting fingers on shots or in the passing lanes, freeing somebody up with a pick and providing solid help interior defense. It wasn’t glamorous, but the world needs ditch diggers.

Bench Mob

G – Junior – Charlie Smith: At about 6ft tall and built like an SEC running back, Charlie played a huge role as our 6th man. Charlie was more of a scorer than a distributor, but he could also play the point and spearhead our tenacious press. Not many schools in the Bay Area had the luxury of bringing an athlete of Charlie’s caliber off the bench.

G – Sophomore – Jason Johnson: For pure outrageous athleticism, Jason Johnson was tops on our team. At about 5’9” and 140lbs, he could do 360 dunks and get his head up around the rim off of a 2 foot vertical leap in his sleep. His game was still pretty raw, but you could plug him into the press and good things would happen.

F – Senior – James Smith: Similar to Jason, James Smith was a ridiculous athlete with a raw game. He was also a late grower because senior year he was about 6’1” and rail skinny, but grew in college into a 6’4” mega stud. It would not be uncommon for Coach Klenow to sit 3 starters and insert Charlie, James and Jason and the lead would grow. Those 3 guys made a great second speed unit that just wore down opposing guards.

Reserves

C – Junior – Chris Schmoller: 6’6” center Chris Schmoller had crazy long arms and a nice back to the basket post game, but due to the speed of the guys on the floor, he was not a regular in the rotation. However, he did have his moments as a situational player late in games and made a great practice player with his length.

G – Junior – Greg Christianson: Backup Junior PG Greg Christianson was a solid athlete in his own right, playing QB on the football team, but his primary role was to keep the other guards ahead of him honest in practice. He came to work daily and was physically stronger than most guards we faced so he did his part to help the team.

G – Junior – Jerry Jenkins: Jerry was another guy who arrived at MA out of nowhere and was just a great guy to have around. He always had a big smile and accepted that he wasn’t going to get a lot of run. He also possessed a sweet J that I’ll bet served him well if he kept playing into adulthood.

G – Junior – TC Williams: Like Jerry, TC was a fun guy to have around and knew that his sweatpants were not coming off until the lead was 30. He probably could have been a decent player if he was a hardcore hoop nut, but I think he just liked being part of the journey.

F – Junior – Nino Gaetano: I don’t think Nino had more than 1-2 years of organized basketball under his belt but he made the team due to his size and surprising athletic ability. He was/is also a character with a Capital C so there was never a boring moment when Nino was involved.

F/C – Junior – Joe Kobertz: I barely knew Joe but he seemed like a nice guy. He had a rough and tumble look about him where it wouldn’t have surprised me if he was going from practice to knock back a few beers and play pool at a seedy dive bar as a 16 year old.

Sophs: Late in the year, Coach Klenow called up Marlon Lawrence, Kevin Swayzer and Colin Hawkins from the JV team to come along for the ride. They were all good guys who fit in nicely.

Assistant Coach – Rich Bulifant: Yes you read that right. My dad came on board to help out coach Klenow and proved to be a very effective leader. If you recall from Part 1.5, many of the guys on the team had their issues with Coach Klenow. My dad proved to be the perfect intermediary. He had the keen awareness to spot a blow up in the works and in most cases was able to diffuse the situation. In some ways he developed a fatherly relationship with a few of the guys. He also brought engaging drills to practice and was a valuable strategic voice in Coach Klenow’s ear during games.

Assistant Coach – Gene Stamps: Mean Gene was the JV coach but would sit on our bench during games and would bark out some fun coach speak. It’s always good to have a few adult voices telling the refs that they are blind as a bat and Mean Gene could bring it.

Coach Klenow – See Part 1.5 for more detail: He took over the coaching duties when we were sophomores and was the leader of this amazing journey.

Trainer- Jorge Maldonado: Out of nowhere for our senior year we had a professional trainer at our disposal. Jorge was working with us to get credits for his graduate degree or something along those lines and he could handle the tape gun like a gun slinger. It was comical to watch how fast he could wrap up an ankle and have you on your way. For my gimpy ankles, this was a true Godsend.

Manager- Josh: If you were casting a hoop team manager for an 80’s teen romcom, Josh would get the part. He was a great addition to our mini traveling circus and kept the water bottles coming and the shooting shirts from falling under the bleachers.

Preseason

Our first two games out the gate were an easy tuneup and then it was on to St Francis for a game that had been circled on the calendar for a year. You could make a case that The Lancers were the toughest foe we were going to face the entire year. Their starting 5 was comprised of 3 D1 scholarship players, a D1 walk-on, and a PG who was destined to become a two sport D3 star. And did I mention that they were practically family? I grew up with Rosenberg, Beasley and Clemetson. Through our shared love of hoops we were all great friends. Rosenberg in particular was like a brother and still is to this day. I knew these guys better than my own teammates. And through these friendships, I had also become friends with Darren Brown and Greg Paulson. This felt like one of those big family reunion games where everybody goes to the park and it all starts out as fun and games, but then it gets competitive and deep down you really (really) don’t want to come out on the losing end. They beat us in Mountain View in JV’s during our sophomore year and then kicked the stuffing out of us junior year at our gym while we were feeling our way around. This was the final chance and it felt like our pride was on the line.

As I was focused on our layup line about 15 mins before tip, suddenly the door opened and the Lancers ran out to start their warm up routine. I didn’t want to look over but something in the back caught my attention. I had to take a peek. Quickly, I focused in on Rosenberg and realized that he was newly sporting a jaw dropping mullet. This thing was the classic Christmas tree that my fellow Works Brothers all aspired to achieve. I had seen him about 10 days prior and there was no mention that this beauty was in the cards. My focus immediately unraveled and I was jumping up and down laughing as Rose breezed passed me in their line and gave me one of his looks that says, “That’s right!”

When the pregame festivities ended and it was finally time to get on the court, we settled into a back and forth sloppy affair that saw us go up about 6-8 pts early. I had a nice look on the baseline that I air-balled. The next possession I had the same look and hit all net. It was clear that SF was not very sharp on this night and we built our lead to double digits. You could start to sense that things were well in hand during the 3rd quarter and the 20 or so MA students who made the trek down started to get a little rowdy. It felt like a CCS playoff game. Their student section was screaming all sorts of obscenities our way and our student crew was playing the part of unruly public school kids to perfection. With 3:06 remaining we had a 59-48 lead. The Lancers then quickly went on a 9-0 run and cut the lead to 59-57 with 1:46 left. I remember thinking that if we blow this my life as I know it is over and my hoop career is a total failure! But on this night luck was on our side. We only scored two points over the final 1:46, but miraculously held on to win 61-60. Atiba had 27 pts and was mobbed by our crew who rushed the court. I don’t even think we shook hands because we were celebrating like we had won the national title. Lancer parents were lobbing the insults at our parents for our lack of class and sportsmanship. It was just a beautiful moment to take in that left me in a state of pure teenage euphoria.

Heading back to Menlo Park that night I was screaming battle cries, cranking Winger and driving over 100 mph on 280 in my ‘63 Chevy shod with crappy retread tires probably safe up to 55 mph. After getting home the word was quickly spreading that the Godless public schoolers had prevailed and the phone calls started immediately. It was open season on a few of the Lancer players and the giddiness lasted long into the night.

The next day we had to get our heads back on straight and prepare for the vaunted Cupertino Classic without the services of Cedric Reed, who was out working on his knees. In our first game we beat Andrew Hill in a tight contest and then had to face the hometown heroes, Cupertino. I always thought of Cupertino as some sort of a St Francis Light. They had size and solid guard play and over the course of two years we had played really close games. This was our third go round playing in their tourney and they had defeated us in JV’s while we had won the previous year in the last seconds. For this rubber match, it was the back and forth contest that we had become accustomed to. I remember late in the third quarter I had basically done nothing on offense all night and I caught the ball on the wing. Their best player, Matt Romig, was checking me and said “Shoot it” in a way that got the juices flowing. I shot the three and it went in. The next time down the floor, same thing. “Shoot It”. So I hit another three and we were back in the game. At one point this game got so nutty that one of our reserves checked in, forgot which way we were going and put two points on the board for the wrong team. We tied the game at 66 with 25 seconds to go on a Charlie Smith basket and they elected to hold for the final shot. With four seconds left on the clock and the partisan Cupertino crowd going crazy, Jamie Presser took a jumper and missed, but in the ensuing scrum one of their bigs grabbed the board and put it in as time expired. Now it was their turn to act like they had won the national title and our turn to feel the bitter sting of a loss.

From there we had to regroup and go play in a treacherous four team tourney at Serra High in San Mateo. In our first contest we had to face a rough and tumble Jefferson team led by 6’5” Teeter Marshall and 6’6” Geno Carter. Before the game even started we had one of those pivotal moments that could have unraveled our dreams on the spot. Big Dee and his dad arrived about 5 mins before tip-off and Coach Klenow made the decision to sit Dee. When Dee’s dad got word of this he stood up and in a deep booming baritone voice said something like, “Come on Dee, give him your jersey. We ain’t playing for this clown!” Keep in mind that Dee’s dad did not look like a man to cross. No sirree! He was large and he was looking at Klenow like he was considering coming over and body slamming him. Somehow a deal was brokered to sit Dee for a possession or two and thankfully we were back on our way.

Jefferson was no walkover with the talent that they possessed. Teeter Marshall had offers from major colleges on the table and had the look of guy who had been around the block a few times and seen a few things. Of course somewhere in the first half I felt my elbow make contact with something and when I turned around Teeter was holding a bloodied nose. Sorry! We kept the pressure up throughout the game and prevailed to put us into the final against Serra.

The next night we had to take on a quality Serra team in the jungle led by Jason Stamps and Tony Gillette. This was another family style game for most of our team as we had all grown up playing together and were good friends off the court. Serra was unfazed by our speed and dictated the tempo, turning it into a physical half court game. We were exchanging leads into the final minutes when a few bounces went their way and suddenly the game was over and they were celebrating. That one hurt. I remember feeling so frustrated with the way that I played that I was kicking lockers and having a good cry as we packed it up. (Note-It’s funny how I’m missing the newspaper clippings from 3 or our 4 losses).

Next up was the 31st annual Fremont-Sunnyvale tourney with 16 teams vying for the trophy. We won our opener and then had Mitty in the quarterfinals. Mitty was a team that had our attention because they had 6’9” Iowa signee Jay Webb playing down on the block and their PG was committed to playing at USF. A few of our guys were still hoping to get D1 scholarships so showing up a signed player was a big deal. Similar to the St Francis game, we had control of the game until all hell broke loose with about two minutes to go. Up 54-46, suddenly I looked over and saw Ced Reed and a Mitty player face to face and getting heated. In the blink of an eye our bench mob was flying onto the court like a WWF tag team and tossing hay-makers in all directions. I was frozen with panic. I actually looked to the bench for guidance and Mean Gene Stamps caught my eye and said something like, “Ah man really? Get in there and start fighting somebody!” There was a Mitty guy a few feet away so I got in his face and after attempting some halfhearted tough talk, I think we switched the subject to talk about Christmas break.

When the dust settled we had three players ejected and after technicals the score was 55-49. I hit a couple of foul shots to go up 57-49 but in the final minute Mitty hit three 3’s to cut it to 61-60. K. Reed hit two more foul shots to go up 63-60 and then we had to stomach two Mitty misses in the final seconds to hold on. K Reed had a nice 26pt night and according to the paper, I had a double-double with 10 and 10. Future Iowa big Jay Webb finished with 20 and 12 but was 4-11 from the foul line.

We next beat the home Fremont squad in the semis and moved on to face Westmont in the final. Interestingly, Westmont had defeated our friends from Cupertino to get to the final in their side of the bracket, preventing a chance at early season redemption. Westmont was led by 6’7” St Mary’s signee Ted Bull and PG Eric Lochtefeld. They also had a solid guard in Chris Ressa and a highly regarded coach in Gary Brink, who if you read part 1.5, was part of the esteemed coaching crew at the Santa Clara camps. Eric was another friend who lived around the corner in Menlo Park and was a fellow hoop junkie. After playing with the rest of the Menlo Park crew at St Francis his first two years, Eric mysteriously found his way to Westmont and guided them to some big wins for his final two years. Like the Serra game, Lochtefeld and Ressa were able to deal with our speed, Bull was a Bull down low and they beat us in a tight half court game. For the record books, this was three straight preseason tourney finals and three straight F-ing losses! The losing really sucked but looking at it from a 47 year old perspective, it was all part of the learning process of getting better.

Two other preseason games that come to mind were at Menlo and at Lowell in SF. Playing at Menlo at noon on a Saturday was a trap game. Menlo was a good team and went on to win the state D5 title, but we had more talent and were expected to win. However, the game carried the extra pressure of being called the best in Menlo Park so if we would have lost, it would have been a lifetime of pure shame. It would have been 50 years of going to cocktail parties and having to cop to losing to Menlo. “Oh you guys lost to Menlo right?” That just couldn’t happen. Menlo had a 3 sport star at PG who went on to play baseball at Stanford (Noriega), a massive PF who played 4 seasons in the NFL (Farquhar), and a skilled 6’8” big (Mead). I remember the game felt like we were managing an 8-10 point lead the whole time and I was working my tail off on D to keep Mead from killing us. I think I had 2 pts in the box score but we kept Mead well under his average and walked out of there with our pride intact. One takeaway from that game was a moment when I had to line up next to Farquhar on a foul shot to block him off. I remember looking down at my legs then looking over at his. I couldn’t help but then look at his arms next to mine. My only thought was, “How the hell am I supposed to block this guy out? His damn quads are three times larger than mine.” I was glad to see that John put that size to good use and I was claiming him as a dear old friend when he scored a TD in a playoff game for the Steelers.

The Lowell game was a whole different animal. It was one of those 3pm midweek specials where we had an hour bus ride up to the City to face a team that we had no scouting report on. We were also playing without Ced who was out with an injury. I hate to sound racist here, but I had never played against Chinese players before and I wasn’t expecting much of a contest. Lowell did have Cal signee Akili Smith at PG, but we had no inkling of what was about to hit us. We warmed up in lazy fog while Lowell came out raring to go. After tipping the ball off, they straight up kicked the crap out of us. Think Charley Murphy on the Chappelle Show recalling getting rolled by Prince and his crew. These guys were slicing us up with quick Pete Carril like Princeton precision and perfect execution. I can’t confirm but I “may” have seen a pick and roll where the roller flipped over one defender, slid through the help defenders legs, ran up somebody’s back and threw down a dunk like Teen Wolf. Midway through the third I was wondering if we could just toss in the towel and run for the bus. Do I think we would have beat them in a rematch, yes, but wow, what a cool whipping!

That Lowell game pretty much put our preseason to rest. We had 12 solid wins, but we also had four painful losses that still linger 30 years on. I hate to make excuses, but we were 1-2 without Ced on the floor. Coincidence?

A final incident that I have to mention involved a now infamous New Years Eve party that started with 4 friends eating RT pizza in my living room while my parents were enjoying a night in the City, and morphed into a full blown high school rager. My nickname was Bul (pronounced like Bol) and after discovering a bottle of Bols in the cabinet, I wasn’t long for the night. I passed out at my own party (after taking a bath??) and didn’t wake until my parents were home the next morning and could be heard cursing as they attempted to navigate the mess strewn about. I could hear their shoes sticking to the booze soaked floors as they made their way to my room. My mom came in ready to explode but couldn’t when she noticed my face. In fact, she almost started laughing at my appearance. This got me up in a flash and when I looked in the mirror it was obvious why she paused. Written across my face in heavy black pen was, “I Love Coach Klenow!”

PAL

After the roller coaster of the preseason, we settled into league play and started to really have fun. I’ll be honest, the PAL other than Aragon was pretty weak so we were able to coast a bit. There were a few good individual players, but most teams really dropped off when you got to players 3-12. We breezed through league play with a 9-0 record and Atiba was named PAL player of the year while Ced and Kendrick were on the first team. Dee and I were put on the honorable mention team for our work behind the scenes. Funny how at the time I used to get pissed over “just” making honorable mention.

While the games were mostly a blur, there are a few fun memories that still give me a chuckle to this day. Somewhere around the start of league play, we came up with a pregame locker room song and dance routine that would have been right at home on Frenchman street in New Orleans on a Sat night. You’ve seen these Gatorade ads where a high school team suddenly breaks into song and everyone is swept up into the groove, well I can attest that this spontaneously happened for us on a random Friday evening before a game. I don’t know who started it, but somebody yelled out “Who Dat think they gonna beat MA” and within seconds, we had the majority of the team jumping up and down and chanting:

Who Dat

Who Dat

Who Dat think they gonna beat MA

Being born with an ability to play beats, I immediately took to banging out a beat on the lockers while somebody else doubled up with a second line beat. We were clapping, chanting, stomping, guys were dropping their best Soul Train dance moves and everyone was in the groove. It felt being in a gospel church and people were seeing the light.

When the congregation cleared and we were headed towards the gym, I looked into the locker of the opposing team on the other side of the wall and you could tell they were done and wanted no part of this insanity. This song stayed with us the rest of the year and was just a beautiful way to get ready to play a game.

Cable TV comes to Menlo Park! Late in the year a tiny little Menlo Park cable channel decided to broadcast our game against Woodside. At the time this felt like a big deal. Dave Feldman (ESPN and CSN Bay Area) was just getting his start in the business and was the play by play man for the telecast. I don’t think any of us had ever been on TV before so there was genuine excitement before tipoff. Plus Woodside was another team stocked with friends so it had a little rivalry feel as well.

When the game started we quickly pulled ahead and somewhere in the second quarter I caught a pass with a clear lane to the hoop. My mind immediately started vacillating between dunk and layup and in the 1 second while this debate raged, I managed to rise up and miss a point blank layup. I was mortified. Not only had I missed an opportunity for a game dunk, but I missed a layup on TV!! (I’m still mortified to this day). As I ran back down on D with my head down, I was only thinking about the good people at home in the community gathered around the TV having a good laugh over my gaffe. Somewhere late in the game I did hit a cool spinning baseline jumper for a little redemption, but the damage was done.

On the subject of local media and press coverage, it’s amusing to think about the amount of press that we used to get. We were covered by The Peninsula Times Tribune and The San Mateo Times on a regular basis. Our headlines would make the front page of the sports section next to an article about the Warriors or Stanford Cardinal. Jason Cole, who has gone on to become a well known national NFL writer for Yahoo and Bleacher Report, could been seen hanging outside of our locker room on any given Friday night with a pencil and pad at the ready to get some quotes. Atiba was the go to voice while Ced and Kendrick were next in line. I would always just sort of sit there listening to who was being interviewed and always tried to have a good sound-byte ready to go when called upon. The next day I would race to grab the paper and would usually be disappointed to see Dee and I mentioned in the last paragraph as an afterthought with no quotes included.

This was the norm until one day I was approached by a writer from the San Mateo Times who said he wanted to do a feature on me. I was so pumped when I heard the news that I could barely contain myself. The next day after practice I met this reporter and spoke about anything and everything for about 20 minutes. I was hoping that finally someone was going to give me my due and ramble on about how amazing I was. I’ll never forget the anticipation I had as I thumbed through the sports page a few days later to see my headline. After flipping through the big headlines of the day I saw my name and froze. In bold caps was the headline, Bulifant Quietly Contributes. It almost felt like I was missing that layup on cable all over again. Quietly Contributes? No this couldn’t be. I yelled, “Hey Really Goon?!?! (a popular saying in my circles in ‘89). Here I thought I was going to live out a childhood dream of becoming a famous hoop star and this article immediately squashed all hope. I should have played under an alias with a wig and fake stache on. However, this headline has served to become a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts because whether it’s in the workplace, home, band, volunteer group etc, I usually roll with the credo: Bulifant Quietly Contributes.

In our final farewell to the PAL, we played Aragon in the conference tourney final at our gym in front of the home crowd. Aragon was an upstart team of juniors who were playing a run and gun style that was impressive and had them at 20-5. We led the whole game but squandered an 81-68 lead and suddenly with 2 seconds left on the clock, their best player, Jimmy Pryor, was going to the line for a 1-and-1 down 86-85. Pryor hit the first to even the score and after receiving all sorts of cool East Palo Alto smack talk, clanked the second and we were very fortunate to head into overtime. In the extra period we kept the pedal to the metal and finally prevailed 93-90. It felt like I had run a marathon. 93-90 is a lot of scoring in a 37 minute game! The crowd also let out a big sigh and ran out onto the floor to celebrate with us. We were 24-4, PAL Champs and ready for CCS.

CCS

While our improbable run to the CCS D2 crown ‘88 was the stuff of legend, our ‘89 run was a more straightforward affair. We were the #1 seed and 21-3 Cupertino was the #2 seed. In our opener we beat a 7-15 Wilcox squad 94-49 in a dunk show that had the student body jumping for joy. At halftime the refs ducked out of the gym for 5 mins and a dunk contest quickly broke out. Somehow our reserve big man Joe Kobertz went to dunk and ripped open the net. When it was my turn to dunk I slammed it off the back iron and the ball accelerated through the ripped spot in the net and knocked me silly. My legs buckled upon landing and I can remember lying on the floor momentarily seeing stars. If it was a boxing match and a ref was giving me a standing 8 count it would have been close. I got back into the game but I wasn’t the same the rest of the night.

In our second game we beat a 15-9 Gunderson by 19 and then we were slated for a rematch of the ‘88 title game with Yerba Buena. YB was 18-7 and came out with a game plan of let Bulifant shoot. I think I averaged around 6-8 shots per game but in the first qtr alone I took 6 wide open jumpers around the foul line extended and made three. (Still pissed I didn’t make them all). I was so open it almost felt weird. To their credit, they kept the game close and at one point we were tied in the 4th quarter 50-50. In the end we prevailed 65-60 behind Atiba’s 22 pt night to advance to the Final vs Cupertino. Holding true to form, the last paragraph of the San Mateo Times report on the game starts with, “Steve Bulifant quietly had a good game for the Bears with 10 points and 6 rebounds!”

About an hour before the final at Independence High in San Jose, we were kicking back in the grandstands when the Cupertino kids entered the gym all smiles and wearing sunglasses. My dad, usually mild mannered around the guys, didn’t take kindly to this display of perceived arrogance and suddenly propped up and said something along the lines of “all right now you really have to kick the f-ng shit out of these guys!” That had a few guys rolling and after another great set of “Who Dat Think They Gonna Beat MA” in the locker room, we were in a good place.

Having Ced in the lineup was the catalyst. Finally playing these guys out of their cozy confines was also a bonus and our defensive intensity set the table early. Through three quarters we had a comfortable 50-34 lead, before we went into cruise control and almost let them back in the game. They actually did cut the lead to 5pts before we hit our foul shots down the stretch and prevailed 67-56. It wasn’t pretty, but redeeming an earlier loss felt nice and being back to back CCS champs was even nicer. Atiba led the way with 20.

Interesting when looking back at our journey to note the winners and losers of the 5 CCS Div final games played that year. We played 6 of the other 9 teams involved including Cupertino and Aragon twice and had a 6-2 mark against quality competition.

D1 Riordan 81 – St Francis 59

D2 MA 67 – Cupertino 56

D3 Westmont 67 – Aragon 65

D4 Mitty 64 – Sacred Heart Cathedral 52

D5 Menlo 56 – Pinewood 53

NorCals

We opened our NorCal title defense as the #1 seed and played host to Shasta High. Credit to these guys, they came down and led after 1 quarter but eventually our speed wore them down and we took a 79-64 win. From there we packed our bags and were headed to Sacramento to play Enterprise from Redding at Arco, who had come back to defeat Cupertino in their first round contest.

I still remember filing into the school bus with my Walkman on and popping in the ZZ Top Deguello/El Loco double cassette for the long ride up to Sac. That’s right. While most of my teammates were probably jamming some Public Enemy or swaying to some Luther Vandross, I was getting down to Cheap Sunglasses and Pearl Necklace.

When we arrived at Arco we had about an hour to stretch our legs before dressing for the game. We had played 3 games the year before in the NBA arenas but it was always a weird adjustment to go from dingy high school gyms to the bright lights of the NBA. The baskets looked like they were sticking out on an island, the removable hardwood floors had a little different bounce and feel, the lights were blinding when looking up to snag a rebound, and when there were only about 300 people in attendance in an 18,000 seat building as there was for our afternoon tilt with Enterprise, it felt cavernous and quiet.

As the game started we were quick out the gates and had a 35-25 lead in the second quarter when Kendrick Reed picked up his 4th foul. That was a blow because Kendrick was rolling with 11 points and 8 boards early. Enterprise then went on a little run to cut the lead to 37-32 at the half. We maintained that 5 pt cushion to start the 3rd until Atiba picked up his 4th foul with 4:25 remaining in the quarter. This was gut check time and was going to be a test of our mettle. With 1:48 in the 3rd, the game was tied. To start the 4th, Coach Klenow rolled the dice and started both Atiba and Kendrick with the 4 fouls. The gamble quickly paid off as Kendrick reeled off 8 straight and we built the lead back up to double digits. At this this point Enterprise elected to make us beat them from the foul line. In the final quarter, we went to line 16 times and hit 12. We were basically walking up and down the court to shot our foul shots and then would head back down to play D. The game was still within reach when Atiba fouled out with 3:35 to go, but we kept our poise and prevailed 74-63. It was a great team win. Kenrick had 19, Atiba 15, Ced 10, Dee 10 and 15 rebounds, I had 10 and 9 rebounds, Charlie had 7pts, 3 steals and 4 boards. We escaped a dicey game and were back in the NorCal finals the next evening in Oakland, home of your Golden State Warriors.

Before we get to the final, I need to take you across Interstate 80 to a little hotel where the traveling Bears were holed up for the night after the win at Arco. This was our first sleepover game of the year and being crazy high school kids with minimal adult supervision, most took full advantage of it. For the reserves, it was loading up on cases of Bud to pass the time in manager Josh’s room. For some of the others, there was a crew of girls who decided to hang with the team and keep them company. For me I felt like I was experiencing the dilemma that all young NBA players must face: Go to the party or go with the ladies? I think I made the wise choice and retired early to my room to pass out. Sleep was hard to come by though as I could hear the drunks a few rooms down and was constantly jolted awake by a speedy teammate racing past my window dressed in just a white hotel towel on his way to the next room for presumably more loving. Both sides kept raging on until the wee hours of the morning and when we gathered for some sort of McDonald’s slop the next day before getting on the bus, we most definitely did not look like a team playing in the the NorCal finals in 10 short hours. What we likely resembled was one of any ABA teams barnstorming the country in the mid 70’s. I was worried and the bus ride was very quiet.

No surprise then that when the Norcal final tipped off, we got off to a sluggish start. San Ramon Valley was the was the opponent and they were coached by the legendary John Raynor, who was my first coach at the Santa Clara camps. Raynor had a fundamentally sound group of kids who started off executing their game plan nicely until Kenrick Reed started making buckets and steals to keep us in the game. At the half we were down 33-31. Early in the second they were up 41-36 when the Reeds and Atiba started up the dreaded MA speed machine. We quickly went on a 14-2 run to go up 50-43 with 2:05 remaining in the 3rd quarter. Just getting the ball over half court almost became an accomplishment for SRV. To start the 4th, we went into a spread offense where Ced would stand well beyond the 3 pt line flanked by Kendrick and Atiba. Dee and I would run to the corners. Ced would then break down the man guarding him and dish to a cutter. If he didn’t break his man down, he would bring it back out and let Kendrick or Atiba break their man down. It was amazing how well it worked. We stretched the lead to 70-56 and it was time to start smiling. Kendrick was sensational with 31pts on 11-16 shooting. Atiba had 22pts on 10-14 shooting and Cec ran the show with 14 assists. Dee had 13pts and 8 boards, I chipped in with 6 and we were one step from the goal. Final score 75-61. We got to cut down the nets as two time Norcal Champs and we had a lively bus ride back to our little campus in Atherton to cap off a crazy 36 hours!

State Final

The next day we found out that 31-2 Glendora had defeated Dominguez 61-57 in the LA Sports Arena to book their ticket to Oakland. Glendora was led by Tracy Murray, who was averaging a shocking 44pts per game, most in CA high school history. It didn’t phase us though as we had a fun week of practice leading up to the big game. Even walking the halls and going to class was suddenly fun because the teachers and admin staff, many of whom may have pegged us for mindless hooligans, became some of our biggest supporters.

It’s hard to believe now but leading up to the big game, we had only read about Murray in print. There was no game film to study. What we knew was he was 6’8”, 220lbs and could score. More precisely, prior to the championship game, he had scored 2,989 points in his career, 296pts more than Santa Monica’s Leon Wood managed to do from 1977-79 for tops in CA high school history. Articles proclaimed him the equal of Larry Bird in the shooting department, others said he was a phenomenal post player and passer. Because I usually covered the other teams big, Coach Klenow gave me the assignment to guard Murray straight up man to man. For some reason the gravity of the moment didn’t feel different from any other game, even as we were warming up and going through player introductions. We had done this before and were in a great frame of mind.

As we walked out and shook hands, a strong crowd of about 6,000 people started cheering and the adrenaline kicked in. I suddenly felt dehydrated and tight. I think we may have won the tip and missed the first shot and as we ran back on D, I set up at the foul line and waited for Murray to come work out of the post. He quickly went to the top of the key and took a hand-off pass and calmly let a three ball fly. I followed the shot in slow motion as it arched and splashed through the net like it had been dropped out of the sky, causing a sea of red Glendora fans to jump up and scream with delight. I was still trying to get my legs the third trip down the floor when Murray got the ball at the top of the key at the pro 3 point line, gave me a look like I was nuts for giving him space, and bottomed another three which now got the entire Coliseum buzzing. Coach Klenow immediately called timeout and gave me a quick, “Bulifant what the F&%$ are you doing??” and switched Atiba on to Murray. As we came out of the timeout, the Murray onslaught continued. We hadn’t faced a player anywhere near this caliber and were basically at his mercy in the first frame. Fortunately we had our own brand of speed ball that was clearly going to cause the rest of Murray’s cast a few fits. There were about three straight trips where I hit Atiba in the post for quick scores. We were trading buckets with Murray and when the horn sounded to close out the quarter, the score was Murray 22, MA 19. Yes he scored all 22 of Glendora’s points.

In the second quarter it started to become clear that Murray’s teammates where not looking to score so we started to sag a bit to help Atiba. Atiba was fighting but was giving up about three inches and 45lbs to Murray who, when he wasn’t canning three’s, was banking nice mid range stuff in or throwing down a couple of drop step dunks in the post. It was hard not to just watch and marvel at the skill. At one point my man ran right by me as I was napping and missed a point blank layup. I hit my first shot from about 12 feet to get on the board and then missed a wide open three from the corner. Funny but I still think about that missed three. In fact I dream about that missed three in super slow mo where I can’t even lift the ball. I made that shot a thousand times in my yard playing in the mythical state title, but missed it on the big stage. At the half we went into the locker room up 39-37 (or 39-32 over Murray) and feeling like we had survived a big punch in the chops and now had the momentum swinging in our favor.

In the third quarter, we started our classic surge. A steal here, a steal there and the next thing you know the lead was double digits and growing quickly. Kendrick Reed was on another of his stealth scoring binges. All eyes were on Murray, but K Reed was giving the score-book man a workout with all the buckets that he was making. The game was playing right into our hands as the pace quickened and we were constantly on the break. One of my favorite memories was getting a steal around our three point line and firing a 3 quarter court pass to K Reed for a dunk. Atiba was scoring in bunches, Ced was controlling the tempo, Dee was boarding, our bench mob was getting in the action and it almost felt like a pick up game. Murray was still putting points on the board but was shooting like a mere mortal and missing stuff he usually made in his sleep. And luckily for us, when we doubled him he was throwing dimes to teammates but they were not converting.

In the 4th quarter we kept the run going to push the lead to 73-53 with 4:08 to play. I picked up two awful calls (#’s 4 & 5) from the starstruck So Cal officiating crew when trying to help on Murray and my job was done for the day. At this point Murray had his average of 44 points and it seemed all was well in hand. I remember walking to the bench up 16 thinking that this amazing journey dating all the way back to 4th grade at La Entrada was coming to an end and I was going out on top. Of course, the great Tracy Murray had one last barrage in hand so my time on the bench was spent biting my nails and praying to the basketball Gods. I don’t know if we let off the gas or the guys were lost without me (kidding. Or am I?), but Glendora, or Murray, quickly went on a 26-12 run in a 3:30 span to cut the lead to 85-79 with 36 seconds left to play. It was literally raining three balls out there and the crowd was loving the performance. Heck, we were all loving the performance! When Murray finally missed, Glendora put our young sophomore Jason Johnson on the line and the kid calmly hit both to go up 87-79 to all but secure the game. Final Score: MA 89 – Glendora 83.

As we were running to the court to celebrate, all in attendance, except for maybe Murray, were standing in a daze and staring at the 64 points up on the scoreboard. In a 32 minute game, the guy dropped 64 to tie his career high. It was a special moment for anyone who enjoyed basketball and one big relief for anybody associated with the MA family. The stats were mind melting. For the game he was 23-44 from the floor while the rest of his team was 7-28. And almost lost in all the craziness was the 36 points on the board put up by K Reed. Our own scoring machine had gone 11-14 from the floor and 13-18 at the foul line to become the third highest scorer ever in the CA state championship behind Murray and Craig McMillan’s 37 in the ‘83 final. This was the stuff of legend.

But credit to our team as a whole. It was another night that everybody chipped in to help the cause. Atiba had a beautiful 23 point night, Ced had 7 assists and had their PG all out of sorts, Dee had 8pts and 10 boards, I had 6pts, 8 boards and 5 assists, Charlie had 8 points and played amazing D, Jason Johnson had 4 big points and James Smith was part of a team effort that produced 14 steals! We were 32-4, DII State Champs and it was job done.

I remember being in kind of a daze while gathering our trophies and cutting down the nets and as we walked off the court, a prolific scorer every bit the equal of Mr Murray gave me a high five and a pat on the rear. Yes I’m talking about the great Lisa Leslie. A player so dominant she once scored 101 points……in the first half!! I was immediately smitten and wanted to hang out to have a chat but they were off to the court to take care of business in the girls D1 final.

Back in the locker room it was fun and games, relief and awe over the journey that we enjoyed together. In a two year period we had gone from being predicted to finish 6th in a ten team public school league to 61-10 with two trips to the state final and a title. It was as if we were living out our own Hoosiers. When my parents took me to the state final freshman year to watch Adam Keefe win the title for his school, being part of a team to accomplish this three years later was beyond my wildest dreams. Credit to Ced and Atiba and Kendrick, who were very insistent that this was the goal even when we were toothpick thin 15 year olds, for taking us all on this ride. Their confidence and belief was something to behold.

Heading back to campus that night we were going bonkers in the bus over the song Stop the Violence by KRS 1 and a crew of early rap pioneers. Once the pressure was gone, we were back to being goofy kids. And as we disembarked the bus and headed into the night, we departed as friends for life.

So what happened to everyone?

This is usually the most popular question when asked by somebody interested in the story. Well, none of us became famous household names, but a few of us kept after it.

Atiba went to Chaminade in Hawaii for two years before finishing his career at San Jose St.

Cedric played for Lassen College for a season before his knees gave out on him.

Kendrick scored a million points for Foothill CC and then played for San Francisco St.

Dee went on to become the nose guard at Fresno St and played in the NFL for a couple of seasons.

I went to the U of Arizona and was told to get lost by the basketball program and quickly turned to the college life of leisure.

James Smith set all sorts of state CC records as a receiver and was invited to many NFL training camps but never made a squad.

Charlie Smith played CC ball………..

And what about Murray? After three impressive seasons at UCLA in which he averaged 18/gm and was twice an All Pac 10 selection, he entered the draft and was the 18th selection of the San Antonio Spurs. He managed to last over a decade in the league because of that shooting stroke and retired with a 9 ppg average. What I always like to remind people is in 1998 he returned to the Oakland Coliseum Arena and dropped 50 on the Warriors. Somehow in my mind that justifies the 64 he hung on us high school kids.

In November of 2014, MA finally did the right thing and placed the entire ‘89 team into the school sports hall of fame. Just being around the guys and feeling the chemistry that we still share reminded me of why we were able to get it done. Just a remarkable crew of guys who accomplished an amazing goal together.

The 2018 racing season has come and gone like Jean Alesi entering the stadium at the old Hockenheimring in the ‘94 Ferrari V-12, blasting past the start finish line at 16,000 rpm and motoring off into the forest for another 1:45 lap. As we head into the dark days of winter, it’s time for a little reflection to make sense of this latest chapter of the motor racing saga.

So what did we learn?

First and foremost, we were reminded that Hamilton and Mercedes are just a little better than Vettel and Ferrari. I think it’s safe to say that Ferrari arrived in Melbourne in 2017 and 2018 with a slightly better package than Mercedes, but throughout the course of 21 races, Hamilton has been the more consistent operator and Mercedes has gained the edge in the development war. In fact, there is a trend here that Ferrari will need to address if the Scuderia intend to win another title. Namely, how they interpret the FIA imposed two week summer break. From the outside, it seems like Ferrari goes into the tank each year after the break while Mercedes discover their sweet spot. Can it be as simple as the Italian based team spending their two weeks bobbing in waves and sipping cocktails while Toto has a secret command center in a small barn in the German countryside where engineers are hard at work 24/7?

Check out these numbers- Through Hungary 2017 and 2018 combined points:

Vettel 391

Lewis 401

Post Hungary combined points:

Vettel 246

Lewis 370

To hammer this point home, Lewis has won 11 GP’s after the break to Vettel’s 2, while their pre-break totals are Lewis 9 wins to Vettel’s 8. This can’t all be down to the circuits in the second half of the season favoring the handling characteristics of the Mercedes over the Ferrari. There is something else at play here that needs to be examined in more detail. I’m not a sports psychologist, but I have a blog so that makes me qualified to offer my professional opinion on the psychological battle between our two championship protagonists.

Here then is the B.E.V Hot Take brought to you by Hanks’s CD’s and VHS Tapes: Life looks to be one big celebrity jet setting adventure for Lewis while Vettel appears to prefer the quiet life. Yet when they turn up to the track, it is Lewis who is better able to absorb the pressure and make the correct split second critical decisions that win races and championships. My advice for Vettel: Quit playing with your garden gnomes and get out to the nearest fashion shows and nightclubs. And while you are at it, get a few tats and date a pop star or two. Trust me, the weekend at the race track will feel like a pressure free relaxing getaway after all that chaos and you may quit spinning the car out every time you make a little contact.

What else?

The pursuit of the mythical Triple Crown is alive and well and Fernando Alonso is knocking at the door. To recap, winning the triple crown of racing involves winning Monaco, Indy and LeMans. Graham Hill is the only driver who has captured this impressive trio to date. After seeing the way Alonso adapted to driving at the speedway in 2017, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him join Mr Hill in the Triple Crown Club someday in the near future, but winning Indy involves a lot of luck. Case in point, Mario and Michael Andretti only have 1 win in a combined 45 attempts at the brickyard.

Contemplating Alonso’s run at the triple crown and his recent test in the #48 Cup car has me thinking about a few recent drivers with cool well rounded resumes. We know about the legendary exploits of Mario, AJ, Gurney, Clark and Stewart, who participated in a period when the drivers were men and they would race anything with four wheels and an engine, but here are a few of my favorite modern day all rounders:

Juan Pablo Montoya: F3000 champ, CART champ, Indy 500 Champ, Monaco winner, NASCAR Cup winner, Daytona 24hr winner. He may be missing the LeMans win, but when you add in a Nascar Cup win, that puts JPM in the Mario-Gurney class. Shoot this guy was/is so good he tied Dixon for the 2015 Indycar championship and would have won it if not for the silly double points season finale at Sears Point.

Jacques Villeneuve: CART champ, Indy 500 champ, F1 champ, LeMans runner-up, pole sitter and podium finisher in NASCAR nationwide series, made starts in just about every other series under the sun including Nascar Cup, Aussie V8 Supercar, FE, World Rallycross, etc. Love him or hate him, a young Jacques was exciting.

Nelson Piquet Jr: Okay I can hear you crying foul over this call but look at the total body of work. South American F3 champ, British F3 champ, F3000 runner up, F1 podium finisher, Nascar Craftsman Truck winner, Nascar Nationwide winner, FE champ, 4th overall in Global Rallycross, many other starts across numerous disciplines. Young Piquet even randomly entered the 2015 Toronto Indy Lights race for Carlin and put the car on pole but was taken out in the race.

Tony Stewart: Sprint car champ, Indycar Champ, NASCAR champ

Robbie Gordon: CART winner, Nascar Cup winner, BAJA off road legend. I still think this guy had the natural talent of anybody.

Whenever I get into this mode I start to daydream about what Senna would have done post F1. Would he still be showing up today and strapping on the overalls in IMSA or WEC? Can you imagine how cool it would have been watching him in sports cars or the 500? Just the thought of seeing him at Laguna in the fan friendly US paddock has me giddy. What a catastrophic loss for all of mankind.

Moving Along……

When did the FIA announce that there was an official F1.5 series? Over the past two seasons, there has only been two podiums outside of the Big 3 teams. Two! And they were both luck jobs (Stroll ‘17, Perez ‘18) at Baku due to the chaotic nature of the circuit. What blows me away is that we are not talking about the mid 80’s when half the teams were operating on a shoestring budget with a leased Cosworth V8 competing against McLaren and Williams with majorly funded factory turbo motors. No, we are talking about Williams, McLaren and a factory Renault effort with works engine deals struggling to stay on the same lap in a race. McLaren has the same engine and rubber as Red Bull with Fernando Alonso peddling the car and they can’t stay on the same lap? Amazing. At least this year the F1.5 action was closely fought and enjoyable to watch. Per the FIA points, Nico Hulkenberg is the 2018 F1.5 World Driving Champion and Renault are the Constructors Champions. Now if you removed the Big 3 from all races that may change the points, but I would need an intern to do those calculations so instead here are the win totals for F1.5

On a personal level, I was fortunate enough to spend 2 days at the Long Beach GP, 2 days at the Portland Indycar weekend and 3 days at COTA for the USGP. Great events all. Long Beach is still the quintessential street event in the US, PIR is still a fan friendly mellow facility in a beautiful setting with a great race track and in COTA, F1 has found a great home.

Tips:

LBGP- Sit down at Turn 1 in Grandstand #40 as high as you can get for the race. During practice, watch the cars from the elevated walking area on the inside of turn 8 and go stand down along the fence at turn 10. During breaks, check out the expo center and the IMSA paddock. For food and beverage, walk into the harbor and you will have all sorts of choices at regular prices. In other words, you can probably save $10 for a beer just for walking an additional ¼ mile. Enjoy the local SoCal flavor.

Portland – Sit in the Festival Chicane (C-3) as high as you can get for the race. For practice, walk the entire track and make sure to stand on the outside of T9-10 to get a feel for the speed of the cars and commitment of the drivers. Buy a paddock pass, take the Portland local rail to the circuit from downtown, and enjoy the outdoors.

COTA- Sit in Grandstand 12 down near the apex of T12 for the race. During practice, walk the T3-7 esses and stand on the berm at the entry to T19. Be prepared to be blown away. I’ve seen everything on 4 wheels and these current cars are shocking to witness in person. The cornering capabilities defy the laws of physics. During downtime (and there is way too much downtime for the F1 weekend) seek the Pakistani family food truck on the soccer field and enjoy the best Shawarma you’ve ever had. After the race on Sunday, walk the main straight and then go check out the local bands set up on the outside of the track at various points having nice little jams.

And now for the moment of truth. Each season I put my esteemed rep on the line by picking the the entire F1 grid;

Here were the top 10 pre-season picks:

Hamilton – 7 wins

Vettel – 5 wins

Verstappen – 5 wins

Bottas – 2 wins

Ricciardo – 2 wins

Kimi

Alonso

Sainz

Hulkenberg

Ocon

And here is the reality:

Hamilton – 11 wins

Vettel – 5 wins

Kimi – 1 win

Verstappen – 2 wins

Bottas

Ricciardo – 2 wins

Hulkenberg

Perez

Magnussen

Sainz

Postmortem: My hopes of a Max championship charge were dashed early on due to poor driving and the down on power Renault engine. From the summer break on he was back on form and should have won Brazil if it wasn’t for that meddling Ocon. Next year! Lewis wasn’t into sharing the spoils with Bottas this year and reached a level that left the paddock in awe and likely left his teammate thinking about life after F1. In the 1.5 field, McLaren were a major letdown and Renault were the most consistent performer. I’m honored to say that I got to witness Kimi defy the odds and win his 21st gp. Props also to my preseason #16 pick Magnussen and preseason #19 pick Leclerc for making me look like a proper fool.

Looking to 2019, the revamped driver lineups have me counting the days to Melbourne.

Mercedes: Lewis vs Bottas

Ferrari: Vettel vs Leclerc

Red Bull: Verstappen vs Gasly

Renault: Hulkenberg vs Ricciardo

Haas: Magnussen vs Grosjean

McLaren: Sainz vs Norris

Force India: Perez vs Stroll

Sauber: Kimi vs Giovinazzi

Torro Rosso: Kyvat vs Albon

Williams: Kubica vs Russell

A Christmas Wish List:

A harmonious mating of the Red Bull chassis and Honda powerplant

Revised aero that actually works and allows closer racing

Leclerc magic

Kubica on pace with Russell

More than 1 podium for the 1.5 class

In Indycar, I’m counting the days to see Rosenqvist and O’Ward get in there and mix it up with the old guard.

Over the past month I feel like the racing news and action has been coming at me faster than the Penske PC-23b motoring across the row of bricks at Indy back in ‘94. Every time I pick up my phone to check the latest, which is approaching borderline unhealthy numbers, I’m left feeling like I’m sitting in the 3rd row at the Silver Dollar Speedway in Chico as the World of Outlaw cars are hot lapping.

On the track we have this intriguing Drive For 5. Scott Dixon just bagged his 5th Indycar title, Lewis Hamilton looks to be on his way to 5 F1 titles, and Marc Marquez is close to claiming 5 MotoGP crowns. But as usual, it’s the silly season that is proving to be irresistible clickbait for me every time I feel the urge to pick up my damn phone. And because of the historical significance of the moves taking place off the track, I’m feeling the need to recap the facts and intersperse my own narrative, or good old fake news, to spice it up a bit. This blog is supposed to be entertainment after all.

So, here is a unique perspective on what has really transpired behind the scenes:

The Silliest Season Of All

Danny Ric had just captured the Chinese and Monaco GP’s in thrilling fashion and clearly had the upper hand on his struggling teammate, Max Verstappen, when suddenly the tables were turned at the next race in Montreal. In post race interviews, Danny alluded to an unspecified equipment deficit to his teammate and added a knowing wink to the camera for good measure. Over the next six races leading to the summer break, Danny had 2 DNF’s and zero podiums, while Max had 3 podiums, including a win in Austria, making Danny the forgotten man at RBR. It still seemed like a foregone conclusion that Danny would sign a new contract with the team that had supported his career since the junior ranks, especially after calls to Mercedes and Ferrari were unsuccessful, but Danny was having second thoughts. His only goal left was a title and time was no longer on his side.

Hearing grumblings from his engineers on the inside that all might not be rosy at RBR between Danny and management, Cyril Abiteboul formulated a plan and immediately boarded the Renault corporate jet and set off for an undisclosed island in the Indian ocean where Ricciardo was rumored to be holed up. After 36 hours of travel spanning a 10 mile archipelago in a dingy with a crazy local guide hopped up on khat, Cyril found the Aussie dead drunk in a bamboo hut.

He tried calling his name and throwing towels on Danny in an attempt to wake him, but soon he too was overcome with fatigue and dozed off on the couch in the next room. The next morning Cryil woke to a freezing sensation and quickly realized that Ricciardo was dumping a pitcher of ice water over his head and having a good laugh about it.

Over breakfast and throughout the rest of the day, Arbiteboul sold Danny on the potential of Renault and more importantly, the satisfaction they would get from kicking a little Red Bull ass. Danny liked what he was hearing, and after Arbiteboul agreed to drink a potent local concoction out of his lucky racing boot that he always travels with, Danny signed and it was game on for the silly season!

Christian Horner was home in England sipping tea and speaking to his wife Geri about her upcoming Spice Girls reunion tour when the phone rang and the reporter asked for his thoughts on Danny signing with Renault. Horner thought it was a joke and hung up, but seconds later Helmet Marko texted him a picture from Danny’s Instagram account showing the Aussie smiling on a beach in a Renault shirt with a pretty girl on his arm and a spider monkey in his lap with the caption: “A new chapter begins now.” Horner panicked for a few minutes before regaining his composure and phoning both Fernando Alonso and Carlos Sainz. Both men seemed excited by the prospects, but then Jos Verstappen’s name appeared in his phone and he knew what was coming next. Jos was on speaker with Max and the family lawyer and after exchanging pleasantries, they cut to the chase and reminded Christian that they had an out should RBR sign either Alonso or Sainz. Christian tried to appease the Verstappen’s by stating that he would never consider calling either Spaniard, and hung up a frightened man. After a quick conference call with the Austrian brass, it was decided then that the next man up was Pierre Gasly. When Horner rang Gasly, it was clear that Pierre was at an all night rave on Ibiza and after delivering the news, Gasly yelled into his phone over the banging house beat, “Je t’aime Christian!” and promptly hung up.

When Fernando received the call back from Horner saying there was no deal, he knew his F1 career was over, as both Vettel and Lewis have No Fernando clauses in their contracts. The thought of driving around in an uncompetitive car where one cannot even engage in wheel to wheel racing without sacrificing huge chunks of time no longer appealed, so he phoned Zak Brown and said it’s time for a new adventure. Zak sensed that his days of collecting fat McLaren checks were rapidly coming to an end, so he did what any great salesmen would do and promised Fred a fun filled year in Indycar with a top team, momentarily forgetting that Honda have McLaren on a worldwide 100 year boycott. Zak then quickly filled the Fernando void with a call to the latest Red Bull castoff, Carlos Sainz, and made the shrewd move to drop Stoffel Vandoorne and roll the dice on boy wonder Lando Norris.

At about the same moment that Fernando was deciding his fate, Lawrence Stroll was meeting with his accountant and was being reminded that his Williams bill was rather large and his ROI was nill. Mr Stroll wasn’t happy seeing Lance mope around the house over the summer break so he decided then to do what any respectable racing father would do, he bought Force India. Williams was hurting his family’s reputation, and with Force India in the portfolio, it’s a win-win giving Lance the opportunity to live out his dreams and allowing Sr a place at the table in shaping the future of the sport.

The previous night Esteban Ocon had gone to bed feeling on top of the world. He was just 20 and had the F1 world in the palm of his hands. But his euphoria quickly gave way to fear when he awoke and saw that his Twitter and Instagram accounts were blowing up with news of Ricciardo signing with Renault and the Strolls buying Force India. He then noticed that Toto Wolff had called and left a message. He put the phone on speaker, hit play and held his breath. “Scheisse Esteban, vee have no options any more. For now vee schadenfreude Valteri and see what happens ok? Call me. Auf Wiedersehen.” Ocon was shocked. One minute he was deciding on two solid contract options for 2019 and suddenly he was faced with the reality of keeping George Russell company in the Merc simulator for a year. This wasn’t in the cards, but Ocon meditated on it and resolved to come out fighting at Spa.

With the passing of a wild four week summer break that will forever change the F1 landscape, the circus reconvened in Spa and everybody got back to the business of extracting speed from these insane machines. It seemed that the 2019 driver market was for the most part settled and it was time to turn our attention back to the battle between Mercedes and Ferrari for the title. Ocon quickly reminded us that he’s the real deal by qualifying an amazing P3 in drying conditions. On Sunday Vettel slipped streamed past Lewis on the first lap and motored on to a resounding win and looked to be the clear favorite heading to Monza the following weekend. Scoreboard: Lewis 231 – Vettel 214.

Ferrari confirmed their speed at Monza by locking out the front row of the grid, sending the Tifosi into a frenzy. This should have been an amazing moment in the Ferrari garage, but there was a problem. The wrong man was on pole. The team had made a strategic error in track placement and it was Kimi who benefited from Vettel’s tow, producing the fastest lap ever recorded at 163.78mph (previously held by Montoya – Monza 2004). Lewis was third, but it seemed that the race was destined to be a Ferrari parade.

As the lights went out both Ferrari’s made good getaways, but Lewis was in the slipstream and applying the pressure. The leading trio managed to get through the treacherous 1-2 chicane still intact, but as they rounded the flat out Curva Grande, Lewis had a fantastic tow and made his move to the outside heading into the left-right Variante della Roggia. Vettel moved to block, but they were now side by side under heavy braking. Lewis released his pedal a fraction earlier and found enough grip to make the corner and avoid taking to the curbs. Vettel suddenly found himself getting squeezed and after making brief contact, lost control and spun to back of the field.

While Vettel was busy lighting up the rears in a cloud of smoke and rejoining at the tail end of the train, it was now Kimi vs Lewis with Monza glory on the line. Lewis slipped streamed past Kimi into turn 1 on lap 4 after a brief safety car period, but Kimi was feeling racey on this day and tracked Lewis down through the Curva Grande, making an around the outside move stick and pulling away in clear air. For a man who seldom passes anyone this was a great move, and perhaps spurred on by the energy of the Tifosi, Kimi quickly built a gap knowing all too well that a win at Monza would solidify his place in the team and earn another contract in the most coveted seat in all of motorsports.

Only Mercedes had other plans and masterfully placed Bottas in front of Kimi after the leading pair made their one and only stops, allowing Lewis to apply the pressure and forcing Kimi to cook his tires while struggling to find a way past the sister Mercedes. After ten laps, Kimi was defenseless with massive blisters in his rears, and Lewis pounced.

This was a heartbreaking defeat for Ferrari on home soil. What should have been a 1-2 turned into a Lewis win and a points deficit that was going to be hard to make up. Scoreboard: Lewis 256 – Vettel 226.

Later that night over triple cappuccinos and endless Marlboro’s, Maurizio Arrivabene broke the second place constructors trophy over his knee and screamed, “Kimi is Finito! Call Leclerc.”

Over the next ten minutes, Arrivabene welcomed Leclerc to the Ferrari team in a scene right out of The Godfather. He spoke of trust, loyalty, family, but also made it clear that the #1 seat was there for the taking, that the current #1 was showing signs of weakness, and that a Ferrari man can never show weakness. Leclerc sounded excited but was audibly nervous as the enormity of the task was sinking in for the mild mannered 20 year old.

Leclerc: I will try my best Mr Arrivabene

Arrivabene: Please Charles, you call me commendatore. And I do not want your best, only titles will do.

Leclerc: Yes sir I’ll be a great teammate to Sebastian

Arrivabene: It’s commendatore Charles. Please call me commendatore.

Leclerc: Of course commendatore

Arrivabene: Very well. As I was saying, I don’t want another Rubens, another Massa, another Kimi. I want a Schumacher Charles! Cappice? Can you be a Schumacher??

Leclerc: I was just a small boy when Schumacher raced but I’ve heard his name before

Arrivabene’s final act that evening before focusing on a bottle of grappa was to call Kimi and fire him over voicemail.

While still trying to process the news, Leclerc phoned Sauber team boss Frederic Vasseur to tell him that he got the call. Vasseur was sad to learn that he was losing his ace, but a light bulb was going off as they said their goodbyes. Kimi may not be the quickest anymore, but he puts butts in the seats and would significantly enhance their profile as they hit the sponsorship trail. The very next morning Vasseur was able to track down the reclusive Finn preparing his dirt bike for a day of trail riding in the Swiss Alps and said, “Kimi I want you for 2 years, $30 million,” to which the Finn replied, “Ok sure” and hung up.

And just like that, the F1 world keeps spinning with a new frontier just over the horizon.

With Indy and Le Mans in the books and the F1 season about to kick into hyperdrive, it’s time for a pause to reflect on what we’ve seen and what we can look forward to.

Fernando Alonso– It’s official, Fernando Alonso is the LeBron James of racing. He’s universally regarded as the best in the business yet is hamstrung by a weak team that can’t get him to the top. His two championships in 17 years seem like a massive underachievement when considering his talent, much the same as Lebron’s 3 titles in 15 years. And just as LeBron reminds us of his brilliance annually by dragging his Cavs to the Finals each of the past four seasons, Alonso steps out of his day job and goes on to lead and contend in his maiden Indy 500 and then wins Le Mans outright in his first attempt. And now, like LeBron, the big news of the summer will be all about……….. The Decision!

Will McLaren really partner with Andretti Autosport to field a car for Fernando in the Indycar series? Fernando has been making it pretty clear that he’s bored stiff with the status quo of F1, so what better way to get the racing juices flowing again than changing his name to Freddy and coming to America for a year to mix it up with the Dixons and Powers of the world? It would be a coup for Indycar and fantastic for racing fans the world over. It’s a travesty that Alonso is currently driving his tail off for 7th place at best in F1, so let’s flip the script and get him over here slugging it out on the Phoenix oval, the Detroit motocross street track, and the classics like Road America and Long Beach. I have no doubt that he would grab a handful of wins in his first year and delight the North American audiences, but it’s the anticipation of seeing him react to getting Charlie Kimballed into the wall at a high rate of speed or finishing 13th after leading 40 laps due to unlucky yellow flag strategy that also has me intrigued. In 1994 Indycar had three former world champs in the field and people lined up at the gates waiting to get in, let’s hope that in 2019 we get another champ back into the series to help restore a little glory.

Max Verstappen– I’ll admit it, I thought this was the year that Max was going to break out and contend for the title with the flair of a young Nigel Mansell. The reality is Max still needs more time in the Red Bull finishing school. To quickly recap his year:

Australia – Off the pace 6th (+21 to D Ric in P4)

Bahrain – Crash in Q1. Made a great start from 15th but attempted an aggressive move on Lewis that led to a tire puncture and later had to retire.

China– Red Bull had him in a position to win late after taking fresh rubber but Max grew impatient and tried to overtake Lewis in a place where it wasn’t on. Danny Ric slipped by and went on to a brilliant win. To make matters worse, Max made a crazy lunge on Vettel that resulted in both cars spinning. Result P5.

Baku – The Baku Bamboozle! After spending much of the race trading paint and rubbing wheels with Danny Ric, Max tried to shut the door on his teammate with a double move into turn 1 that resulted in both cars out on the spot. It was an awful move that remarkably didn’t boil over into a civil war between teammates.

Spain – Workmanlike P3, +26 to the winner Lewis, but -24 to Danny Ric

Monaco – Incomprehensibly stuffed a potential race winning car in practice and couldn’t partake in qualifying. Started last, but drove sensibly to P9 while Danny Ric won the race.

Canada – Solid P3, +8 to winner Vettel and -12 to Danny Ric.

That recap reads like a rap sheet for the local juvenile delinquent causing mayhem in his neighborhood. Max is better than this! I’m intrigued that Red Bull didn’t allow his dad and entourage to attend Canada and he had his best race of the year. Is there a little rift growing there? My prediction is Max settles into the European season and reminds us why he’s the brightest young talent in the sport.

Other F1 Takeaways:

Over the first seven races we haven’t seen the wheel to wheel fighting among the Big 3 that I was hoping for because passing is next to impossible due to the aero package, but at least it’s now difficult to predict who will have the best car on the Thursday before the race weekend. To date it’s Ferrari 3 wins, Red Bull 2 and Mercedes 2 and I expect this ebb and flow to continue into the Summer break.

The second pack (Group B) has been ultra competitive as expected, but it’s disappointing to see them so far down the road from the Big 3. Last weekend in Canada Nico Hulkenberg won best of the rest but was lapped by Vettel. Renault appear to be separating themselves from the rest, but over the first 7 races McLaren, Force India, Haas and even Toro Rosso have all taken turns as the Group B top dogs.

Charles Leclerc has become very handy with three top 10’s over the past four races. It’s one thing to get lucky due to attrition and score big points when you’re a backmarker once, but to do it 3 times in a Sauber is impressive. Yes I’ll go on record and say that Bulseyeview was wrong in my assessment that the young Monegasque didn’t look impressive when I saw him drive in Austin last year. He’s on the books at Ferrari and should have Kimi worried that next year the Finn may find himself on a jet ski in the Med with a Marlboro dangling from his lips during the Monaco GP weekend.

Another driver doing nothing to hurt his reputation is Esteban Ocon. He is currently holding a 5-2 advantage over Perez in qualifying on Saturday afternoons highlighted by a P6 on the grid in Monaco and a P8 in Canada. Whipping that pink special around Monaco to 6th on the grid has to be in the running for the Ayrton Senna “I’m in another dimension” Qualifying Award. Force India have been somewhat swallowed up by the midfield this year, but Ocon is going to make Mercedes think long and hard about how to handle the career of this rapid 22 year old.

Top 3 Drives of the Year:

Danny Ric slicing through both Mercedes and Vettel to win China

Danny Ric winning Monaco with a MGU-K failure

Pierre Gasly finishing P4 in Bahrain, beating the likes of Hulkenberg and Alonso by over 30 seconds.

The silly season is upon us and Red Bull just kicked it into high gear with the announcement that they will sever their partnership with Renault and go with Honda for next season. Will this have any effect on Danny Ric returning? And will this give Red Bull the works advantage that they’ve been seeking? Stay tuned. With 4 titles in 12 years you can’t say that the partnership wasn’t successful, but Renault produced a clunker in 2014 when the turbo hybrids were introduced and they’ve been playing catch up since. One can only play “What If” over the thoughts of Red Bull having a Ferrari or Merc powerplant over the past 4.5 years.

Who’s on the Hotseat?

I think it’s safe to say that Brendon Hartley is officially on the hotseat. Is anyone surprised? With Marko and Tost presiding over the Red Bull driver program like headmasters at a military academy, any young kid that takes a check and slaps a Red Bull sticker on his visor is officially on the hot seat. It’s highly likely that Hartley will be gone before the years end but he can take solace knowing he’ll join some illustrious company with names such as Alguersuari, Bourdais, Buemi, Kvyat, Luizzi, Speed, and Vergne.

Romain Grosjean? Romain has had a combo of awful luck, terrible errors and a teammate who is getting on with it. The crash while in a nice points paying position under yellow in Baku has to go down as one of the most boneheaded moves of the decade. Lucky for Grosjean, most of the F2 kids seem a little too raw and Haas has 0.0 interest in putting an American in the seat.

Finally, anyone employed by Williams is on the hotseat.

Over on this side of the pond, the Indycar season has been solid week in and week out, but has been lacking in the barnburners we’ve grown accustomed to that can induce gnawing on a couch pillow. The new car looks great and the emergence of Rossi and Wickens joining Newgarden as the young guns of the series bodes well for the future. It’s funny though, early in the year it seemed that this new wave was about to take the series by storm, but look at the last 5 races:

Indy Road – Power – 37 yrs old

Indy 500 – Power

Detroit 1 – Dixon – 37

Detroit 2 – RHR – 37

Texas – Dixon

Throw in 39 year old Sebastian Bourdais’ win in St Pete’s and you have the venerable old guard still running the show. It must be the old man dad strength required to muscle these beasts around a bumpy track with no power steering that keeps these guys at the top of the game.

The championship appears to be headed to a showdown between Dixon and Rossi but as we know, momentum in the Indycar series can shift like the breeze.

Cool Thought – Waiting in the wings is American Colton Herta and Mexican Pato O’Ward. If I were running the show (wink wink), I’d pull a Bernie and move mountains to get both of these kids good rides next year and do whatever it takes to get McLaren into the series. I think we’ve seen this movie before but in case you need a refresher, here’s the premise:

You have this North American racing series and you cast a couple of winning Canadians, a handful of Americans young and old, a Mexican upstart and you pit them against well known drivers from the rest of the world, including a former world champ still at the peak of his game, and you will be looking at box office success.

Lastly, if you like great racing and a spectacular silly season, MotoGP is the place for you. We haven’t even reached July yet and a good portion of the grid has already signed contracts to ride elsewhere in 2019! This may take a while to recap but for those of you scoring at home, here are the moves so far that I can recall:

Lorenzo out at Ducati and in at Honda to partner Marquez

Pedrosa is looking for work

Petrucci is in at Ducati to partner Dovi

Yamaha- Keeping Rossi and Maverick

Suzuki – Iannone out, Moto2 rider Joan Mir in to partner Rins

KTM- Zarco joining Pol Espargaro

Aprilla – Iannone landing on his feet to join A. Espargaro

Tech3 is becoming a KTM satellite team

And on and on it goes.

Look for Marquez to capture his 5th MotoGP title in 6 years and make a strong case for being considered the G.O.A.T!

Happy days it’s March again. Time for Spring weather, longer evenings, March Madness, sundresses (can I still say that? Ok let’s call it shorts) and F1. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of March. For the true F1 fan, it’s a time for optimism and hope. Hope that the engineers of the contenders have got all their sums right and are busy at work producing a car that is worthy of fighting the silver cars from Brackley. Optimism that we are going to witness a fascinating 21 grand prix season with more plot twists and turns than a season of “Falcon Crest.” I’m not going to beat around the bush here, my gut feeling tells me that we are in for a burner of a year. I’m talking 1981 vintage, or maybe more appropriately, 1986, where we had Prost in the McLaren snatch the title in the last round from Mansell in the Williams while Nelson Piquet was only 3 points adrift in the sister Williams. And don’t forget the the 4th player that year, young Ayrton in the difficult Lotus-Renault, who managed to grab 8 poles, 6 podiums and 2 wins out of the 16 rounds that comprised the championship. Sound familiar? The buzzardly winds emanating out of Europe are speaking to me and I like what I’m hearing.

You may be asking why? Why am I so bullish on 2018, with these gently whispering hybrid motors, that dreaded dirty air, and the hideous halos bolted over the drivers heads? How can I make such a claim without even seeing true testing times due to rain and snow rendering Barcelona testing pointless to date? Bottom line, I’m betting big that Renault has made enough gains to allow Red Bull to fight Lewis and Seb from the green light in Melbourne all the way to the giant nightclub finale that is Yas Marina. I witnessed the beginnings of this perfect storm brewing from the grandstand in Texas last fall, where Lewis and Seb were dueling for the win while Max was coming from last to third, and I envision 2018 as the continuation of this battle. Remember, over the last 6 GP’s of 2017, Max and Lewis were level at 100pts each. There are so many factors that are contributing to this perfect convergence of competitiveness, with 3 transcendent drivers leading 3 legendary teams, that I can’t wait to get to Melbourne to see this play out.

THE BIG 3

It’s borderline crazy to publicly state that anyone will touch Mercedes in this turbo V-6 hybrid era, as Mercedes has racked up a remarkable 63 wins out of 79 races, but as we enter year 5 of this engine formula, it’s time for Ferrari and Renault to step up their game.

Mercedes- Everything’s in place for Merc to continue their winning ways. Lewis has nothing left to prove and is now driving for the record books and his love of competition. He’s chasing history with 29 more wins needed to tie the Great Michael Schumacher and seems to be relishing the opportunity to fight with Max and Vettel. Bottas is driving for his career and it will be fun to see which Bottas shows up this year? The 2017 car seemed to have a narrow set-up sweet spot that Lewis could drive around when necessary, but after a solid start, Valteri came back from summer break inexplicably a few tenths slower than Lewis and didn’t regain his form until Lewis had clinched the title. I advise Bottas to pay Nico a visit to learn which buttons need to pressed to get under Lewis’s skin.

Red Bull- As I mentioned above, if the Renault engine only gives away 2 tenths a lap to the Mercedes engine, then Adrian Newey’s chassis in the hands of Max and Ricciardo will be able to take the fight to Lewis. Max is signed long term with the team and is primed to take over the sport. He may already be the best in the business at wheel to wheel racing and both his qualifying and race pace is phenomenal. Ricciardo is driving for a contract and will be desperate to keep up with Max. He’s already been publicly lobbying for a seat at Mercedes so the interteam battle will be fascinating to watch. If he can step up into the Lewis, Seb, Max realm, then we will be in for a battle royal as Danny-Boy (or Rickey Rocket) is the most exciting overtaker in the game.

Ferrari- Seb won 5 races last year and led the championship through much of the summer, but then made a critical error in judgement at the start of the Singapore GP and was further let down by mechanical issues in Japan that derailed his hopes of a 5th title and glory for the Tifosi. It will be very interesting to see how Seb copes with Lewis and Max making life difficult for him. Seb seems to turn into a lunatic in a split second so his therapist may be the secret weapon that gets him back to the top. I’m envisioning the first 3 corners of last years Mexican GP becoming a theme in 2018. And then there’s Kimi. Kimi’s best days are now well behind him and he’s officially a Ferrari employee trying to score constructors points and help Seb win the crown. I hope he proves me wrong and we see the Kimi from Monaco last year on a regular basis, but I’m afraid that 2018 will be Kimi’s last in the sport.

The Next Three

Last year there was a pretty significant gap from the big three to the rest, my hope is this year a next three or B league scrum forms that is swarming 15-20 seconds down the road at the flag from the leaders and making for great tv.

McLaren- McLaren and Alonso, I officially welcome you back to sharper end of the F1 grid. My how we’ve missed you! I have a hard time seeing McLaren returning to their winning ways this year, but I can see Alonso playing the role of pest all season and grabbing a podium or two when the cards fall his way. My feeling is it was such a late switch to the Renault powerplant that they won’t truly be up to speed until next year, but we can count on Alonso constantly starting on row 3 or 4 and going for any and all gaps. Vandoorne had a really low key rookie campaign and has the great misfortune of being teamed with a teammate crusher, but he showed signs of pace and will now be on display for the world to see as he navigates the battles in this fierce Next Three pack. We need competition for Max in the future so let’s hope that he is a star in the making.

Renault- It’s time for Renault to stop making excuses for their lack of competitiveness as they have been building up over the past two seasons and start delivering. This is a factory team with huge resources and I’m sure the company board will start asking questions if they have nothing to show after 2018. In Hulkenberg and Sainz, they possess two drivers in their prime of their careers with much to prove. For Hulkenberg, it’s a trip to the podium! It’s hard to believe that Hulkenberg is the F1 record holder for the most GP’s without a podium. And for Sainz, he’ll be driving to reclaim his seat at Red Bull and another chance to take on Max. The brilliance of Carlos has been hidden a bit at Toro Rosso and he’s still prone to a foolish mistake 1-2 times per year at the start of a race, but beware of the Spaniard as he now has a legit top 8 car to work with. Here’s hoping for some epic Alonso-Sainz battles that spill over into the paddock and Spanish media. “Que estabas pensando idiota!?!?”

Force India- If intersquad battles are your thing, then look no further than Force India as the upstart Ocon looks to gain control of the team over the experienced Sergio Perez in his second full season. At one point last year after a scary coming together on the run down to Eau Rouge at Spa, Ocon tweeted:

Damage limitation today, we were having a good race until Perez tried to kill me 2 times! Anyway he didn’t manage to do so ending up P9!

Ok this might not have the significance of Senna driving Prost into the wall down the straight at Estoril in ‘88, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless. Perez is a consistent, rapid driver who is top notch at managing tires throughout a race, but Ocon seems to have that special something and is on my radar as a future champion. He is the property of Mercedes after all, so I could see him taking

This is getting awkward

over for a underperforming Bottas or a retiring Hamilton in the next 2 years. In Austin this past year he was on my buzzard radar all weekend and he passed everything that I’m looking for in a driver, including a dirt track moment in the mist where he kept his foot down and fought a massive 4 wheel drift for a few hundred yards. What is it about the French GP driver? Overall, I’m predicting that Force India’s run of 4th place constructor championship points finishes is under threat from McLaren and Renault.

The Rest

What is one to do with the remaining four teams that compromise The Rest? It seems like a lot of money spent just for the honor of being an F1 backmarker. Miracles can happen though, as Sebastian Vettel demonstrated in the Toro Rosso by winning at Monzo in the wet in 2008. Or how can one forget Fisichella’s win in the wet in Brazil in 2003 in the lowly Jordan-Ford. Fisi’s next best finish that year was a 7th on his way to 12th in the championship, while Jordan finished 9th out of 10 teams. On paper the remaining four teams are all very professional racing outfits well stocked with brilliant engineers and talented drivers, but for various circumstances, are still chasing that elusive 1-2 seconds per lap necessary to be a real player. In other words, sadly, there isn’t an AGS or Andrea Moda to marvel at the incompetency.

Williams- It’s sad to see this iconic, historically great team fall into this category but F1 can be a cruel business. Williams start the year with two inexperienced young pay drivers in Stroll and Sirotkin attempting to extract the maximum out of Paddy Lowe’s first true design after a wildly successful spell at Mercedes. Winning seems to follow Paddy so keep your eye on this package, but we may be left wondering in the coming years just how good the FW41 really was. It’s just disappointing to see a team that has pitted Jones vs Reutemann, Piquet vs Mansell, Hill vs Villeneuve, running drivers with no chance whatsoever. I personally feel that they would have been much better off with an old man lineup of Massa and Kubica, or could have done something really cool like going after Felix Rosenqvist and Josef Newgarden. I think I know what Frank and Patrick Head would have done. In fact, any and all motorsport personnel decisions should be based on the question, well what would Frank and Patrick do?

Haas- For a team to start from scratch and achieve what Haas has in their first two years is nothing short of amazing, but as they embark on year three, I’m still seeing them resigned to the 8th placed constructor. Their partnership with Ferrari has been very beneficial in getting started and in Grosjean and Magnussen they have two drivers capable in getting after it. When Grosjean has a car to his liking he’s a top 10 talent, but his seemingly never ending frustration with the brakes supplied by both Brembo and Carbon Industrie have got to be sorted out immediately. With Magnussen, they have an uncomplicated second generation racer who has a heavy right foot and no problem telling a rival to, “suck my balls” on tv after a race. Let’s see how long Gene Haas is happy to spend billions just to be #8 in this ultra competitive environment.

Toro Rosso- Wouldn’t it be amazing if Honda got it right this year and propelled their little works team into the fight? That would be about par for Alonso as he’s usually in the wrong team at the wrong time. Honda was showing signs of real progress towards the end of last year and I found it very telling when Brendon Hartley stated that his ‘18 Toro-Honda has more power than the Renault powered car that he drove at the end of last year. But this is Scuderia Toro Rosso (formally Minardi) after all, so I expect that they will be relegated to keeping the Williams and Haas cars honest while the drivers fight each other to avoid the dreaded Franz Toast call into the office. Pink slips anyone? Gasly will have a lot of pressure because at 22 years old and the 2016 GP2 champ, his reputation will be at stake if he’s playing second fiddle to Hartley, who at 28 is a dinosaur by F1 rookie standards. Hartley, with years of factory Porsche WEC and F1 simulator work may be an excellent development driver, but it makes me ask the question: Has the Red Bull young driver pipeline gone dry?

Sauber- And last but not least, it looks like it will be Sauber yet again. However, with a new significant Alfa Romeo partnership and access to more Ferrari components, this team should be able to avoid getting lonely out there and set their targets on Toro and Haas. I’ll be very curious to see how Ferrari protege Charles Leclerc fares in his highly anticipated rookie campaign. He looked like a surefire next big thing in GP2 last season, but when I saw him drive in the damp FP1 in Texas, I wasn’t very impressed. He was tender footing around at the bottom of the time sheets and did nothing that says future world champ. Hopefully he proves me wrong. If he routs veteran teammate Marcus Ericcson and scores a handful of points then he very well may be in Kimi’s seat for 2019.

So after unloading that stream of consciousness, here are the official Bulseyeview picks for 2018:

Last weekend I rubbed shoulders with Mika Hakkinen at Laguna Seca, booked a trip to Austin for the USGP, moved into first place of my hotly contested racing fantasy league and watched an amazing Indycar show at the tricky triangle. The previous weekend I was inspired by the Marquez/Dovi duel at the Red Bull Ring and Kyle Larsen’s mind melting feat of 2nd at The Knoxville Nationals in a 410 Winged sprinter on a Saturday night and 1st the next day in The Cup race at Michigan. And do I need to remind anybody that Spa is this weekend? I guess what I’m trying to say is motorsport has found it’s way back into my heart and I’m feeling the need to peck the keys and preach the good word.

Motorsport, This song’s for you!

So where do I start? I have such a blank canvas to work with here. Because modern motorsports takes quite a bashing on a regular basis, I’ll begin my soliloquy with all the good that exists out there.

The Good

We have a legit title fight on our hands in F1 between Vettel and Hamilton! We’re talking Ferrari vs Mercedes. Two drivers at the top of their game with a combined 7 world titles already in their trophy cases having at it not just to be the 2017 champion, but to improve upon their place in the Pantheon of the Greats. Lewis has been sublime on Saturdays with 6 poles to Vettel’s 2, but Seb has been the more consistent operator of the two when it counts and they are currently level at 4 wins apiece. They started the year a little too friendly towards each-other for my liking, but after rubbing wheels at Barcelona and Lewis then giving Seb the infamous Baku Brake Test, which brought out another episode of “Seb’s Gone Wild” from the normally happy go lucky German, it’s now game on for the final 9 races.

Fernando Alonso! You would think that with a best finish of 6th in 11 races and a DNF at Indy, this year would be considered a complete and utter catastrophe for the Spaniard. While it must be incredibly frustrating to be in Alonso’s shoes, his reputation as the best in the business has actually gained momentum. His entire month of May at Indy was just a thing of beauty. He quickly assimilated to the hang loose world of Indycar and was peddling that cool looking McLaren-orange Dallara like a seasoned Brickyard vet in a matter of hours. In the race he was going to be right there at the finish if it wasn’t for yet another Honda, albeit a HPD built motor, going kablamo and leaving him walking back to the paddock to a rousing standing

A Little R&R

ovation from the locals In his regular job, ALO has crushed his highly regarded rookie teammate Stoffel Van Doorne, climbed into a grandstand in Montreal to chill with his peeps after a DNF, set the fastest lap of the race in Budapest and then stole the parc ferme show by reenacting a scene from Brazil last year when he decided to sun himself in a lounge chair after being stranded out on track yet again. Bravo Mr Alonso for showing us your prodigious skills and newfound sense of humor.

Sato wins Indy! If you have been a regular reader of this blog over the past 5 years, you will know the great admiration that I have for Japanese F1 drivers of the past. When pressed for my top 5 of all time, Sato is #2 behind the almost mythical Ukyo Katayama. Witnessing Sato make an outside turn 1 pass stick in the closing stages of The 500 and cross

Ukyo The Great

the row of bricks to take the checkered flag was certainly the high point of my season and something I will not soon forget.

Robert Kubica is back! No not back in a rally car or touring car or some wacky WEC prototype, Kubica is back and ready to resume his F1 career that was tragically cut short six years ago. After what at first seemed like a publicity stunt by the Renault team to give their former driver a go in a 2012 machine at Valencia, Kubica stunned when he immediately got down to business and made easy work of their regular test driver on hand with no ill effects from the injured arm. Things really got serious when Kubica was called into the post Budapest test a few weeks back in the 2017 car and he acquitted himself very well. Considering that he had never sat in the car prior to the test, he was able to do a couple of race distances without putting a wheel wrong and proved that if he can handle the Hungaroring, then he’s fit to go. We at Bulseyeview are hoping and praying that Renault does the right thing and hires the Pole for 2018.

Indycar has a 5 man battle for the title with 3 races remaining and a new bonafide American star! The Newgarden/Penske combo has the look and feel of a budding dynasty and Jo New’s pass on Power at Mid-Ohio must have made Nigel Mansell drop his 5-iron and applaud. That fake to the left and cross-over to the right was right out of the Nigel playbook. Alexander Rossi is also looking like Honda’s favorite son so we may soon see the day of Rossi in a Honda vs Newgarden in a Chevy fighting for Indy glory. It will be Mikey vs Little Al, Mears vs Sneva, AJ vs Parnelli all over again. On second thought……..

Prediction- Jo New will do just enough to hold off that wily Dixon at the treacherous double point finale at Sears Pt. Chip will then fire Kanaan, Chilton and Kimball for not looking out for their mate. Michael Andretti will switch to Chevy, leaving Rossi and Sato to join Dixon and Felix Rosenqvist at Ganassi.

Like Indycar, MotoGP also has a 5 man battle for the title with plenty of races still on the calendar! Marquez, Maverick and Dovi each have 3 wins while Rossi and Dani P are hanging around and staying within striking distance. Johann Zarco has also shown that he is a man to be reckoned with in the future with a few brilliant rides. These riders are the last of the maniacs in motorsport and we are lucky to have them in our midst

Prediction- When Marquez is not sliding into the gravel on his rear end he’s next to impossible to defeat, so I’m going Marquez, Maverick and Dovi.

Other good things worthy of a mention:

Force India continuing to punch above their budget as best of the rest and their driver combo of Perez and Ocon pushing each other to the limit (and sometimes beyond)

Carlos Sainz P9 overall in a Toro Rosso

Kyle Larson taking Nascar by storm

Indycar rolling out a 2018 car that looks cool and based on Montoya’s feedback, should put more emphasis on driver skill

Pirelli World Challenge continuing to gather momentum

Penske announcing a full fledged assault on IMSA’s top prototype class with two factory Acura’s, one driven by JPM and Dane Cameron

Felix Rosenqvist driving everything under the sun and winning wherever he turns up.

Next generation drivers with names such as Alesi and Herta winning races in competitive series.

The Road to Indy Mazda ladder system

Kamui Kobayashi

The Bad

Hands down, the most disappointing aspect of the 2017 season is Red Bull’s lack of pace. If we were treated to Max and Ricciardo mixing it with the Mercs and Ferrari’s on a week in and week out basis, this season would be epic. I really do think that these two drivers are the key to take F1 to the next level. Max is like a ticking time bomb ready to go Senna all over us and Ricciardo is the right there in the Lewis, Alonso, Vettel class. They started the season about 30 seconds slower over a race distance and have more than halved that gap, so if we can just find a few more tenths here and there then they are going to make life miserable for the boys in Silver and Red. Tickets to Spa are sold out with the Max Army arriving in force so one can only hope that the game begins on Sunday.

Seb Bourdais breaking his pelvis while attempting to qualify for The 500. Leading up to Indy, Bourdais had been the feel good story of the year for Dale Coyne Racing. Reunited with his engineer Craig Hampson from their glory days at Newman Haas, they started out the year with amazing strategy calls and won at Homestead and then followed it up with a 2nd at Long Beach. At Indy, Bourdais had a rocketship and would have likely been a contender for the Borg-Warner trophy until his wicked crash put an end to his season.

Quick Easy Quiz to see if you are paying attention: (see answers at the bottom)

Name 5 former Indycar winners who sported glasses?

Where was Mika Hakkinen’s first GP?

Who has more Knoxville National Titles between Sammy Swindell and Danny “The Dude” Lasoski?

Did Max Verstappen win the 2014 Euro F3 Title?

Who won the 2017 Long Beach GP?

A couple of other bad things to mention:

The tragic passing of Nicky Hayden from a bicycle accident. After all of those brutal falls at high speeds, a fricken bicycle accident? RIP Kentucky Kid.

Pay drivers (yes I’m talking to you Lance)

Quiet F1 engines

DRS zones. Do you remember the days when a pass was a pass? Think Prost/Senna Portugal ‘88 or Montoya/Schumacher Brazil 2001 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ikq2G-qakY)

Fuel Saving

The Nascar debri yellow with 10 to go

Halos. These guys signed up for danger so let’s keep it that way

Dirty Air

A final thought. Every week it seems like a new major manufacturer is planning to join Formula E. This almost feels like the manufacturer led breakaway series that we were hearing about a few years back. The current on track product certainly doesn’t merit being considered a threat to F1, but when you see that Mercedes is dropping the DTM to go electric racing, Porsche is disbanding their Le Mans program to join the fray, BMW is on board, Jaguar, Renault, etc., suddenly this becomes a big deal. The manufactures will want to win, drivers will want to get paid and the big independents like McLaren and Williams may see this as a new revenue stream for their coffers. Even Ferrari is turning to hybrid technology for their road cars. So what if we suddenly see a Max Verstappen or Daniel Ricciardo decide to spearhead a Porsche or Mercedes entry for top $$? Will that start the fan migration over to the E-side? I currently don’t watch E but do closely follow their results because the driver lineup is very impressive. I would say top to bottom, FE is is on par with Indycar at the moment. If suddenly a few major stars are in the field, my curiosity would be too much to resist. Say what you will, but my estimation is 70% of the people who are sitting in the grandstands or watching at home are doing so because of their allegiance to the drivers. I want to see the best, so if suddenly the best are in FE, that could spell big trouble for F1 as we know it.

If intrigue, excitement and drama are your thing, then F1 2017 may just be the show you’ve been waiting for. The immortal David Bowie summed up this new season best with the simple lyric:

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Mercedes enjoyed three years of complete domination with a relatively stable rules platform, so it was time to wad up those regulations and toss them in the bin and start again with a clean sheet of paper. The result is we now have cars that look fast standing still, rear tires so wide I sometimes think I’m looking at James Hunt wheeling the ‘76 McLaren, and lap times that will likely make these the fastest road circuit cars ever produced by man. It appears that the FIA came to the same conclusion that fans throughout the world had discovered, F1 had lost it’s edge and something drastic needed to be done. It’s still the pinnacle of motorsport with technologically insane cars being driven by fantastic drivers, but the sights, speeds and sounds no longer elicited F1 worthy passion among the paying customers.

F1 cars had also become too easy for a professional driver to handle, so now we have cars with a little beast in them that may test a drivers mental and physical abilities to the max. Remember when drivers used to occasionally pass out after climbing out their cars (think Nelson Piquet in the ‘82 Brazilian GP), let’s hope for punch drunk drivers climbing the podium steps on buckling knees.

Year over year change among drivers and staffers is the norm in the vagabond world of the F1 paddock, but this year is just downright crazy:

Button is retired and living in LA

Manor has gone the way of AGS, Coloni and Forti Corse and is now history

Williams have a driver (Lance Stroll) who was born the year that Hakkinen won his first title

Paddy Lowe is a Williams employee

James Allison is a Mercedes employee

Ron Dennis (The Ron Dennis) has been ousted at McLaren and replaced by American Zak Brown??

The reigning world champ, Nico Rosberg, is home changing diapers

The cars are 4-5 seconds per lap faster

AND BERNIE HAS BEEN OUSTED (by Americans no less)

Much has been written about Bernie, but here is my two cents: Bernie has to be considered among the greatest negotiators and marketeers in modern history. He took a Euro-centric sport with a passionate fan base and brought it to the world in the form of a slick two hour TV show that has been second in viewership only to soccer for 30+ years. When I went to my first GP in 1981 at Long Beach, it didn’t seem a whole lot different than going to a Can-Am race at Laguna. For a few extra bucks we could walk into the garage and stand over the informal Ferrari mechanics prepping Gilles Villeneuve’s car for practice or get Alain Prost to sign a hat. Believe it or not, at the end of the weekend the mechanics would sell the shirts off their back or spare car parts just to make a few extra bucks. What Bernie did, for better or worse, was take F1 and package it as a super exclusive, luxury product that appealed one’s desires. It was sex, danger, and immaculately prepared exotic cars racing on immaculately prepared racing circuits in glamorous spots around the globe. Only the rich and powerful or the beautiful could be granted access to the inside to rub shoulders with the great men who had the courage and skill to drive these cars. Big time companies flocked to get their names in front of this massive audience and the marketing dollars spent promoting this brand, especially in the tobacco days, was staggering. Team owners, engineers and drivers in the span of a decade went from hard core racers with dirt under their fingernails to filthy rich celebs receiving knighthoods. Bernie had so much leverage he could threaten race promoters who were resisting his exorbitant race fees by yanking them off the calendar and replacing them with government backed races in developing countries that would pay anything just to be included in the exclusive club.

I once read an interview with Eddie Jordan where he said something to the effect that Bernie even managed to sell F1 twice during his reign to venture companies for astounding profits, only to repurchase the shares back for pennies on the dollar in negotiations so clever that there should be a case study in all business schools for the next 50 years.

But as Bernie’s empire was chugging along seemingly unchallenged, the world changed with the advent of the internet and social media. Suddenly the common man had thousands of entertainment options at his fingertips and F1 had real competition. Bernie appeared to be too stubborn to react to this threat and quickly became an 86 year old out of touch with his customers. Change was needed. Insert Liberty Media and Chase Carey. It seems very odd to me that an American company with zero knowledge of the sport decided to take it off Bernie’s hands and finally put him to pasture (or to a Brazilian coffee farm with his young wife to be exact), but we’ll just have to sit back and watch what happens. In my F1 observations over 35+ years, Americans and F1 don’t go very well together so maybe we haven’t seen the last of Bernie yet.

Bernie or no Bernie, the show must go on and looking ahead to the business on the track, here is what I think we know:

The Big Three

Mercedes, Ferrari and Red Bull are in a battle for supremacy. Ferrari look like the cars to beat after 8 days of testing in Barcelona, but this is not the first time that Ferrari have won the testing world title only to fail when it really counts. After last years debacle, it would be nice to see the Scuderia return to the front, but the competition won’t rest and the main storyline about this year is going to be about development.

Mercedes:Until properly dethroned, Merc still feel like the team to beat with Lewis ready to take back the title. Bottas should make an excellent #2 and score podiums on multiple occasions.

Red Bull:No driver pairing is more exciting than Ricciardo and Verstappen. Ricciardo seems to have the upper hand over a lap in qualifying, but Verstappen is brilliant over the course of a race. With Newey fully back on board, I have high hopes as the year unfolds.

Ferrari:Vettel went semi mad last year when things didn’t go his way and Kimi is 37, so Ferrari better hope it has the car to beat to keep these two engaged. I don’t think they have the technical strength of the two teams above to keep pace with developments, but they may grab a few wins early on.

The Dirty Mid Pack

Force India: I love it that Force India is going pink in the name of the all mighty dollar. In terms of dollars spent versus results on the track, this may be the best racing team in the world, but it will be tough to retain the 4th spot in the constructors championship. But make no mistake about it, they will be easy to spot on track. Perez is now an excellent driver in the prime of his career and Ocon is tipped to be a star so it will be fun to see these two fight it out.

Williams: Williams appear to have an excellent car to start the year but my concern is the drivers. Massa was out the door on his way back to Brazil and Stroll was in F3 last year, so I have a hard time believing that these two will be extracting the max out of this package. Those in the Pro-Massa camp point out that he was a monster in the high downforce 2008 cars so maybe these new cars will suit his style. Stroll had a horrendous first week of testing with three offs but returned for week two as a solid performer. “Just let the car do the work son – and keep the checks coming please.”

McLaren: McLaren, McLaren. What is one to say about this downtrodden mega team? Sure we can blame it all on Honda, but it’s sad to see Alonso and Vandoorne waste their talents with this project. This was supposed to be the year that they threaten the big three but now it looks like a few points are all they can hope for.

Toro Rosso: Toro Rosso had a pretty subdued test, but I have high hopes for Carlos Sainz with a Renault 2017 spec engine. These guys are a clever bunch and have produced a car that looks the part of a regular point scorer. After a tumultuous 2016, it will be interesting to see if Kvyat can settle back into just driving on the limit and forgetting about all the external BS. That poor guy looked rattled last year after his demotion.

Haas: I like this Grosjean – Magnussen pairing and with the Ferrari powerplant looking strong, these guys should be in the battle for the coveted 4th place in constructors. One thing I don’t like is they don’t have a bunch of Billy Bobs in their crew. Shoot they may need them this year with these bigger wheels. Maybe the POTUS can tweet out that Haas needs American workers!

Renault:The team likely to make the biggest gains this year from last year. Renault have now had a year to hire and plan and they should start seeing results. Hulkenberg is a top 10 talent and Palmer was showing signs of speed last year towards the end of the season. Renault don’t often fail in their F1 forays and I would not be shocked to see this team performing as the 4th best team by years end.

Sauber:Where is Heinz Harald Frentzen when you need him? Sauber have fallen on hard times and are now propping up the back of the grid. They have a very fast driver in Wehrlein who occasionally had the Manor in places it had no business being in last year, and Ericsson seems to have pace, so it will be fun to see if these guys can find somebody to attack.

Now, for the moment of truth, the championship predictions:

Hamilton – 7 wins

Ricciardo – 4 wins

Verstappen – 3 wins

Vettel – 3 wins

Bottas – 2 wins

Kimi – 1 win

Massa

Perez

Sainz

Ocon

Hulkenberg

Grosjean

Stroll

Kvyat

Magnussen

Alonso

Vandoorne

Palmer

Wehrlein

Ericsson

Five Other Random Predictions:

Verstappen gets in a punch-up with Lance Stroll after being taken out of the lead while trying to lap him

Chase Carey quits his job at Liberty Media after two months of dealing with the piranha club

Zak Brown becomes the McLaren Honda fall guy and is working for Penske by 2018

Witnessing 21 GP’s in a 37 week span has left me in a bit of a daze. Toss in 16 Indy car races and 18 MotoGP’s in the same time-frame, on top of the millions of bits of information being spewed out of my iPhone on a daily basis and it’s a recipe for a classic case of information overload. In an attempt to reminisce and pick out important moments that tell the story of F1 2016, I’m just seeing a streaming highlight reel of the lights going out and cars leaving starting grids, first corner melees, pitstops, DRS assisted passes, sparking skid plates, Max Verstappen, opposite lock, grid girls, Max Verstappen, Bernie’s face, Vettel temper tantrums, my wife giving me a dirty look, Max Verstappen, buzzards racing for a podium ceremony, Ricciardo drinking champagne from a boot, Massa waving a tearful goodbye while Verstappen goes by around the outside of somebody in the wet and finally, Rosberg celebrating the title. Seriously, what just happened there?

In the same 37 week span that Donald Trump pulled off the political shocker of a lifetime, Nico performed a minor miracle of his own by taking the fight to teammate Lewis Hamilton and winning the 2016 title. Similar to the Donald/Hillary battle, Hamilton won the popular vote with 10 wins to Nico’s 9, 17 podiums to Nico’s 16, and 12 poles to Nico’s 8, but Nico was the more consistent performer week in and out and had zero mechanical DNF’s while Lewis suffered one lone catastrophic engine failure while leading in Sepang. Lewis also had 3 qualifying mechanical issues and quickly went through his five engine allotment, causing him to take a mere 55 grid spot penalty at Spa and start dead last, gifting Nico a Sunday afternoon drive in the park. And then there were the multiple flubbed starts where Lewis looked like he was dragging an anchor as he struggled to find the bite point in his clutch.

Political Conspiracy Theory: Mercedes did swap crews before the beginning of the year and one has to wonder if this was the determining factor that tilt the balance of power in Nico’s favor.

Was there an unseen wave of discontent sweeping through the Mercedes garages among the rank and file employees over Lewis’s me-first antics and elitist celebrity lifestyle that we the fans were not aware of in our left leaning coastal enclaves? We may never know until Lewis writes his tell all memoir, but it made for an intriguing battle for the sport’s most coveted prize.

And then the fun really began. I’ll be honest, other than Max’s drive in Brazil and the Ricciardo/Max tussle in Malaysia for what ultimately led to the win, this was not a season for the ages. But when a world champion retires unexpectedly in late November, igniting a raging silly season debate, all is good in the F1 world again. So in the name of fun and games, here is my quick and dirty version of Nico’s Retirement Trickle Down Musical Chairs.

Damn I was hoping to include Renault, Haas and Sauber in this but it’s just not working out.

So here is my 2017 Grid:

Mercedes: Hamilton, Vettel

Red Bull: Max, Alonso

Ferrari: Ricciardo, Kimi

McLaren: Bottas, Vandoorne

Force India: Sainz Jr, Ocon

Williams: Perez, Stroll

Toro Roso: Wehrlein, Kvyat

Haas: Grosjean, Magnussen

Renault: Hulkenberg, Palmer

Sauber: Ericsson, Nasr

Manor: Gasly, LeClerc

Totally farcical, but you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t be counting the days to Melbourne if that was the new lineup.

One thing is for certain, there is new talent coming up through the ranks and the departures of Nico, JB and Massa are going to open doors for these new kids to show their stuff. In fact, there should be a new rule against a driver overstaying his useful life and keeping the new blood from moving up. At a certain point around 35, a driver really is just pounding around for dollars and doesn’t possess the same passion and fire that he (or she) had at 25. It’s human nature in any sporting endeavor.

So, the new rule is as follows:

No driver shall be able to participate in a F1 race over the age of 35 unless they have been granted a past champions extension. To be granted this extension, a past F1 World Champion can elect to continue racing for an additional season over the age of 35 for each championship that they have won. For instance, Alonso is 35 but has two titles so he can race to 37. Jenson Button at 36 just used his 1 year champions extension so he is timed out. Massa at 35 is also timed out. And I hate to say it, but Kimi at 37 is also one year past his expiration date.

Message to Massa and JB: Thanks for entertaining us for many years and a heartfelt congrats on all of your successes, now off to sports cars you go. I hope to see you piloting a Ferrari GT or prototype machine a track near me soon.

Now back to the subject of Nico deciding to turn in his gloves after finally reaching the pinnacle at the relatively young age of 31. There has been plenty of speculation, but in my opinion it sounds like he sold his soul to beat Lewis and just doesn’t have it in him to dig that deep again. Fair enough, champions seldom repeat in any sport and F1 drivers are no different. Here then, is a look back at how a few noteworthy past champions defended or headed for the hills following a title run (from 1981-Present):

1981 – 1982: To close out the ‘81 season, Nelson Piquet in a Brabham snatched the title from Carlos Reutemann and Jacques Laffitte at the final round in the parking lot of Caesars Palace. The next season, Brabham switched from a Cosworth V-8 to a BMW Turbo powerplant and Mr Piquet, not keen on being a test mule, finished a lowly 11th in the championship.

1984 – 1985: In the ‘84 season Niki Lauda clearly tempted the law of averages to beat Alain Prost by ½ point for the title, because in ‘85, Prost won the title and outscored Lauda 73-14. Note- Lauda was 36 years old during the ‘85 season. Note II: Former 1980 world champion, Alan Jones, came out of retirement with a solid Fosters beer belly to drive around in the original Haas F1 team.

1987 – 1988: Nelson Piquet won the ‘87 title after two seasons of insane psychological warfare with teammate Nigel Mansell and decided to bolt for Team Camel Lotus and teammate Satoru Nakajima. In ‘88 Piquet drove for dollars to 6th in the championship, just ahead of Ivan Capelli and Derek Warwick.

1992 – 1993: Ah the glory days of bizarre behavior and driver feuds! Nigel Mansell blitzed the field in ‘92 in the potent Williams FW14B and then decided to leave F1 altogether for CART!! Alain Prost, who was fired by Ferrari near the end of the ‘91 season and sat out ‘92, was drafted in to continue the Williams dominance with Damon Hill as his teammate and won the title in his sleep. And to top it off, Prost then retired for good with his 4th title to make way for Ayrton at Williams in ‘94. ‘93 Fun flashback – Ayrton was partnered by Michael Andretti for 13 rounds with an under-powered Cosworth V-8 and a young lad named Schumacher won his first GP in Estoril.

1995 – 1996 – 1997: After winning the ‘94 and ‘95 titles for Benetton, Schumacher left the team to restore glory to a Ferrari team in disarray. This opened the door for Damon Hill to beat his rookie teammate Jacques Villeneuve to the ‘96 title while Schumi finished 3rd, some 40 plus points behind Hill. Damon Hill then couldn’t put together a deal with Williams to defend his title so he spent the ‘97 season plunking around in a Arrows-Yamaha and finished a lowly 12th in points!

Mika Hakkinen: After striking a deal with Ukko, the Mythical Finnish God of the sky, weather and crops, to win the ‘98 and ‘99 titles over Schumacher and finishing a fighting 2nd to Schumi in 2000, Mika lost the fire in 2001 and hung up his helmet at the end of the season. Age – 33. Perhaps Mika accelerated his motivational curve by 2-3 years due to too many years of being sponsored by Marlboro and West?

Michael Schumacher: After rewriting the record book at Ferrari, Michael was defeated by a young Alonso in 2005 and 2006 and decided to go play with motorcycles. Note: In 2005, Michael Schumacher was 36 years old! And of course then the crazy SOB came back at 41 to take on Rosberg at Mercedes for 3 years. (But then again Michael did qualify for 7 extra years of racing due to his 7 titles!)

Alright enough with the history lesson. We know that Kimi won a title at Ferrari and the following year was no match for Massa. The lesson here is Nico is not unique to running out of motivation. It’s happens, and good on him to get out while he’s on top. It must burn Hamilton to know that he isn’t going to get the opportunity for revenge.

The question of the day is: Will Nico be able to stay away for good as he has indicated? Changing diapers and hanging out with the wife is great and all, but to go from F1 hero to domestic dad in a week will be a shocker. Especially when Ferrari may be looking for a Kimi replacement at the end of next season. Like many before him, he may have to ease into this retirement business with the DTM or a LeMans program. Then again who knows, I saw him trying to lead the Tifosi through ‘Seven Nation Army’ on the podium this year so maybe he has the German pop charts next in his sights?

Well Happy Holidays and here’s to hoping that 2017 will bring about another golden era of the sport. The driving talent is there and the new cars look pretty awesome on paper, so let the design race begin and bring on Melbourne.

And a shout out to Simon Pagenaud, Marc Marquez, and Jimmy Johnson for taking care of business.