Little white boy: Will someone tell him that the Indians were playing the Yankees the other day!!?
Little Indian boy: Will someone tell him that Indians don’t play baseball? I should know, I’m Indian!
–2 train

Guy, to girl: Smart girls are never pretty. That’s why you’re a dumbass.
–Union Turnpike station platform
Overheard by: Erna
Hobo: Ain’t no good here, only cheap. Cheap, cheap, and very cheap. And very beautiful.
–L train, Bedford Ave station

Guy: If I’m going to swallow sperm it has to be for love. That’s just how I feel, man.
–Outside the Wintergarden Theater
Overheard by: Dawn-Kate
Club-hopper: I don’t like that bar. But it’s a good scene if you want a 700-pound gay Republican sitting on your face.
–Typhoon, 18th & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White

Girl on cell: I mean is UPS trying to alienate all of New York City? Seriously!
–Prince & 6th
Guy: Is it wrong to break up with someone with a text message? No, right?
–Black and White Bar, 86 E. 10th St.
Overheard by: Andy De Mars

Hipster: Aren’t you some kind of traitor? You’re going to film grad school, and you saw Click on opening night?
–Mondo Kim’s, St. Mark’s Place
Usher: All ticket holders, please enter the theater. We will not start ’til everyone is seated in your box-office, uh, thing you sit in.
–New York Public Theatre

Bartender: I have absolutely no desire to go to work and make ginger cosmos for a bunch of proud gays.
–Montague & Henry
Foreign guy: He’s not gay. He’s almost gay. He spends most of his time with a lot of gay actors. But he’s not really gay.
–Stairs of the Met
Overheard by: wankerbob