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Launchpad's
Civil War

Reviewed: 12/23/2009

More Like Launchpad's Whacky War To Me....

Yippee; we have another Launchpad focused episode and this one is
one surreal experience to be sure. Think civil war re-enactment
that's actually the real thing (in the context of the Ducktales'
world of course). So how does this episode do? Let's rant and find
out shall we...?!

This episode is written by Pamela Hickey and Dennys McCoy. The
story is edited by Patsy Cameron and Tedd Anasti. Pamela is just
another cartoon writer who started in 1984 with the only really
notable credits being on the newest Astro Boy anime series,
ToddWorld, Growing Up Creepie and Cosmic Quantum Ray. Dennys almost
mirrors Pamela Hickey's USIMDB credits by the way so I will not
repeat myself here.

We begin this one at Launchpad's
Hanger as we see Launchpad, the nephews and even Doofus (YAY!)
cleaning LP's bi-plane. Doofus talks about his plane getting dirty
when he crash lands. Launchpad is pumping air into the tires of the
Joy Rider as he claims that it can takes sums of punishment. And of
course LP puts too much air into the tires while trying to relate a
story about flying over the Big Cheese Mountain range. I wonder if he
spotted Monty there too. At least that BS story would be plausible in
Monty's own head. And there was no visibility as Mount Limburger; the
biggest mountain in the whole range jumped right in front of him. I
said this about Fenton and I'm going to say it to Launchpad: WHAT THE
HELL ARE YOU DOING TO THAT JOY RIDER?! It seems to be gaining muscle
mass as the tires inflate. And of course he's screwed as the tire
pumps him like a jackhammer. HAHA! He lands feet first into the
bucket and does some sliding and drops into the tires to get buried
in a tire tomb. HAHA! The kids try to help him from the carnage as we
cut to the entrance to see a dogperson wearing blue; a helmet and
glasses with pants, a white scarf and a red bicycle. He rings the
bell and proclaims that he has a Quack-a-Gram (What is this? PU Quack
Revenge Name Week?!) for Launchpad (Frank Welker)Launchpad is tied up
by the tires and tries to grab it from the boy; but he's basically a
rocking tire chair. HAHA! He does have enough to pay the boy and the
boy thanks him as Doofus grabs the Quack-A-Gram.

Doofus reads the gram (in the usual
writing that we cannot read; but 4Kids would STILL edit because
according to Al Khan; it gives the impression that kids can read from
paper see. And that's bad. Why? I don't know...) as the people of
Duck Ridge cordially request the honor of his presence and
participation in the annual Civil War pageant. As in Civil War
re-enactment for those who don't understand the concept. Huey is
amazed because the civil war happened a long, long time ago. Now do
they know why America had a civil war? LP asks if he missed it and
Huey explains that it is an anniversary celebration which contains
the re-enactment of the Battle of Duck Ridge. BINGO! They want him to
play the part of General Rhubarb McQuack. Yeap; this is another in a
series of Launchpad family reunions of sorts. LP remembers him as his
great-great grandfather. LP claims that he is a civil war hero and it
runs in the family. The chuckling gives it away that the General was
a sucky one to boot. LP takes off the tires as Louie states that he
has to be there by tomorrow. Doofus is upset because LP was supposed
to take them on a field trip for the Junior Woodchucks, and LP
decides to take them long as the trip as he gets the tires off but
spins around the bucket and drops on his face and belly. HAHA!
Launchpad can only giggle on that one.

So we head into the skies in the Joy
Ride as Launchpad is flying behind the clouds (with the nephews and
Doofus sitting in the front seat of course) as they are above their
destination where his great-great grandfather was a hero. We go to
the front shot above the sky as Doofus has his camera ready for the
LIBERAL RED BOOK OF CRAPPY PICTURES THE KIDS EDITION~! POW! OUCH!
Ummm..I mean the Junior Woodchuck scrapbook. Launchpad decides to let
him do it and Doofus decides to shoot the camera right in LP's face.
You know if he wanted to be stupid; at least buy a bow tie camera and
do it that way. It doesn't have the flair without the bow tie
involved. And the Joy Rider takes a nose dive and is forced to do a
hyperbole on the right pan shot as several dogspeople in period
clothing are forced to duck. A dogsperson with a hat and purple coat
wonder if this is Mr. McQuack. There is a dogsperson with greasy
black hair beside him in a brown coat which indicates that he is the
heel for this one. So we get the Loop-De-Loop for only 15 cents as
the Joy Rider lands and crashes into the chicken barn duh. And man;
that wood crashes like paper. HAHA!

The chicken flew the coop and there is
no wolf in the hen house. Or something like that. The greasy haired
brown coat wearing dogsperson states that there cannot be any doubt
as they rise to their feet. The chickens continue to cluck, feathers
fly and they fly away as Launchpad, the nephews and Doofus walk right
out of the hen house unharmed. Unless you count LP's chicken on his
head. HAHA! Launchpad introduces himself as the great-great grandson
of Rhubarb McQuack of course. The purple coat wearing man wants to
shake hands carefully and they do as Doofus gets the trio another
picture and this one causes a little less damage to the eyes than
before. The purple coat dogsperson addresses himself as Mayor Rufus
B. Pinfeathers who is voiced by Richard Erdman who started in token
roles in various movies from 1944 to 1953 (with Rebound and The
George Burns and Gracie Allen show being his only television
appearances.); starting with Mr. Skeffington and ending with Mission
Over Korea and Stalag 17. He then got a major role on television as
Pete Morrisey in Where's Raymond in 1954 and was Sgt. Jasper in The
Swamp Fox mini series in 1959 on Disney. He then went on to do cameos
from there on Perry Mason and minor roles in movies (Stewardess
School, Tomboy etc.) before starting voice acting in 1979 with Scooby
and Scrappy Doo, Space Stars and the Smurfs. Ducktales is his DTVA
debut and while he did return for Sir Gyro de Gearloose; Ducktales
was the only DTVA show he was on. He has done mostly small cameos
recently (Joan of Arcadia, Judging Amy, Boomtown, Felicity); and a
few television movies including the upcoming Operating Instructions
as Henry. He also directed Teenage Tease in 1983, The Brothers
O'Toole and Mooch Goes to Hollywood; along with a few episode of the
Dick Van Dyke Show.

Rufus is part of the Duck Ridge
Historical Society and they are honored he accepted their invitation.
Launchpad calls the honor all his as he takes the chicken off his
head. Spoiled sport! The dogspeople are shocked to hear this which
pretty much gives away the dishonor of Rhubarb right in advance.
Launchpad takes the chicken off his head and it laid an egg. HAHA!
That is so symbolic of what is going to happen to Launchpad it's not
funny. He intended to uphold his double great grandfather's name.
BWHAHAHAHAHA! If only he knew; if only he knew. The brown coat
wearing dogsperson with the greasy hair proclaims the he will as
Rufus addresses him as Colonel Beauregard DuBark (Chris has him as
DuBarque which makes sense since he's supposed to be French –
voiced by Alan Oppenheimer returning for his third episode I see). He
is the founder of the Duck Ridge Historical Society.

He is also owner of the Duck Ridge
Civil War Souvenir Shop. Doofus flashes the camera some more as
DuBarque proclaims that his shop accepts all major credit cards.
DuBarque's ancestor General Elijah DuBarque fought against LP's
double-great grandfather in the Battle of Duck Ridge. And I betcha he
won in a squash match too. Doofus flashes the camera some more at the
hills as Launchpad holds onto Beau (since it's easier to spell)
claiming that it's tough to have that loss hanging over his family.
Riiiigggghhhhht. LP has sympathy for Beau good sir. HAHA! Launchpad
has his Airhead Syndrome on full blast today. Which means this
episode is going to rock; I just know it. Beau is pissed off; but
Rufus restraints him as Rufus doesn't want him to upset the apple
cart if the apples are still on the tree. Rufus goes over to a
dogperson soldier in uniform as he has Rhubarb's uniform all ready
for LP to wear in the parade. He goes over and places the chicken on
the soldier's head as he tries on the cowboy hat and uniform.
Launchpad is giddy over the uniform and the upcoming parade. Everyone
huddles together as the soldier is confused and Doofus takes another
picture with the flash....

And that logically segues into the
actual parade as the streets of Duck Ridge are filled with kids and
denizens on the sidewalk as the marching band plays. I see a goose is
playing on a golden flute in the band too. And a parrot. The
animation is classic TMS anime style as we see two police motorcycles
and then an orange old car being driven by Beau with Rufus in the
front seat; and the nephews, Doofus and Airhead Launchpad in the back
seat. Doofus still has his camera set to profits as Launchpad soaks
in the only good moment that his double great grandfather doesn't
look like an idiot. Even though it's LP and he still acts like an
idiot here. Huey talks about being on the side of the parade for the
first time as an old lady with glasses and in purple (Russi Taylor)
notices General McQuack...and I bet she blows him off. No; she does
one better; mock him as his hero as the crowd laughs in the
background. Louie asks LP why they are laughing at him. Well; it's
simple Louie; Launchpad is acting like an idiot as usual. LP claims
that they are happy to see him. And Launchpad gets his eyes flashed
by the camera flashing of Doofus again. HAHA! LP has got to learn to
tell Doofus: No Flash Photography! He waves like a stunned idiot as
we head to the stage (which contains a Confederate Flag no less (and
gives away what happened to Rhubarb in advance if anyone knows their
Civil War history 101.

I betcha that doesn't get pass BS&P
ever again) as there are light blue uniform wearing soldiers talking
to each other and dark blue soldiers leaning near the podium where
the forbidden flag is. The tires are heard and we see the parade car
come out and everyone gets out. Well; LP would if his uniform didn't
get stuck in the car door. HAHA! LP does a bump into the car door
with his back for fun as Rufus tells him not to act like an idiot
until tomorrow. Rufus asks about an inspection of the troops as they
have been rehearsing for weeks see. And so is LP as he gets the
uniform to let and takes an off-screen MAN-SIZED bump into some trash
we don't see; but it's still funny. So we head to the street as an
old soldier with a sword (I'm guessing for General Rhubarb –
Alan Oppenheimer) raises it up and readys the men (a short duck and a
tall dogsperson.) on his command.

Someone forgot the short duck to find
some boots. And he commands them to flee and they bump into each
other and panic. HAHA! They then run away as the nephews show up
asking why the soldiers ran away. I agree; being afraid of little
kids is the lowest thing you can do. I guess they are W.C. Fields
soldiers. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Doofus flashes the camera to gain some
evidence to show these soldiers as children haters. Dewey then
deduces that General Rhubarb didn't win this battle. NO?! REALLY?! We
see them running behind LP, Rufus and Beau as Launchpad proclaims
that they need a pep talk from their leader; the great military
genius who led the McQuack Marauders to victory. LP has no idea what
an re-enactment is; but then again I love him with Airhead Syndrome
so screw everyone else. LP tips his hat down too much and of course
he crashes into a black lamp post. HAHA! Good MAN-SIZED bump too
there. Rufus decides that it's time to break the news to Launchpad
and Beau cannot wait to see his face when LP finds out that Rhubarb
was a total failure in life and in war.

So we cut to Launchpad talking to the
Larry, Curley and Moe of Civil War Re-enactments as LP gives the pep
talk about recreating a great battle in the Civil War. The three
stooges giggle with their backs turned of course as LP is so dense
that it's funny. This will be their finest hour. For Launchpad's it's
already happened as they must work as one to win the battle.
Launchpad's pep talk is so hilarious given the context that this is
an re-enactment and LP's treating it as if the civil war is happening
RIGHT NOW! The Three Stooges laugh their asses off on THAT one. Now
they know how I felt when I was laughing my ass off and doing spit
takes on LP's dancing in The Lost Crown of Genghis Khan. Rufus and
Beau enter as Rufus explains that he cannot win this battle and LP
interrupts him because his double great grandfather was a hero in
which Beau gleefully blows him off since it was his troops who won
the battle at Duck Ridge. Rufus apologizes for confusing him and
looking to be very ignorant as Doofus steps in and proclaims that
Launchpad is not ignorant. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know this is Doofus;
but even I think this is too funny. Dewey gleefully tells him to get
back to reality. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real
comments. Dewey wants answers to this whole thing as Rufus decides to
tell them the story of the Battle of Duck Ridge...

So we get the thrilling flashback as
we go to the real Duck Ridge (complete with tied down hot air
balloon) as we see the troops with General Rhubarb on horseback.
Rufus talks about the eagle eye man in the observation balloon
whistled to them (a dogsperson with red hair) signaling that
DuBarque's troops were advancing. The general had the advantage and
the high ground as LP has his telescope but the horse gets in the
way. HAHA! So the horse smiles and moves his head allowing LP to look
down at the town below. He sees the troops coming from below and all
LP had to do was draw his sword and charge. However; as Rufus so
gleefully points out the poor fool/gallant ancestor; couldn't even
draw his sword as there is only holder. HAHA! That will teach him to
buy a sword at the Dollar Sword Store. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Everyone is
confused because one cannot lead the charge without a proper sword.
So that's why General McQuack failed then! He didn't have the balls
to break DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) as Rhubarb tries to get the
blade out of the holder as Beau rubs it in some more on the pan shot
down as the troops run in uncontested. McQuack then tries to charge
himself (with the blade in the holder); but jumps off the horse and
gets tingled up in the ropes attached to the air balloon. The balloon
is brought down as the troops were so ashamed that they ran away from
the hill stage left and were never seen again.

The flashback of doom ends with Rufus
proclaims that he still cannot win the battle at Duck Ridge; but he
is still the star of the little dramatization. They couldn't have the
celebration without him as Launchpad seems certain that he won't do
it as Beau goes to him and tells him that he'll do the right thing.
You know what; I have a sudden urge to boycott Spike Lee movies now.
Beau calls him a gentleman of the highest degree. If he is talking
about degrees of being an idiot then he's right on the money. He is
incapable of disappointing the throngs of anxious citizens. He even
brings in the old lady OUT OF NOWHERE (she was standing there now?
Even though we NEVER see her? Logic break #1 for the episode) as she
is anxious. Or dampen the spirits of their darling children as he
brings in a little pig boy with a red baseball cap and dogperson girl
with blond hair. They both look forward to tomorrow (Frank Welker and
Russi Taylor) as that sounds so scripted I swear Beau paid them off
like the video game industry does reviewers in those so called
non-bias magazines. They ask if he will stay and LP keeps saying you
will stay. HAHA! Airhead syndrome; gotta love it. Beau calls his an
idiot and tells him to say I'll stay. I love real comments and aren't
supposed to be real comments. And Launchpad proclaims that he'll
stay...and calls Beau an idiot. HAHA! Beau wipes his face with a
cloth on THAT one.

So we head to the horse stable as we
see the brown horse LP will be screwing around with chomping on hay.
Doofus asks if it's a real horse. Well; if it has a mane; it's a
horse you doofus. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Doofus calls him some cartoon
character. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological projection much there
Doofus?! The horse's name is Grace the direct descendant of General
Rhubarb's horse. Grace gets flashed as well for Doofus' amusement. He
backs up and drops his ass right onto the tub of water conveniently
placed behind a box and a pail. Nice to see someone was on the ball
there, eh?! Rufus claims that the two will look grand as Launchpad is
worried about riding a horse. He gulps as Rufus show him the double
great grandfather saddle to boot as Beau tries hard to contain
himself before he laughs his ass off. Launchpad walks away stage left
with the saddle as Doofus flashes him with the camera and he crashed
off-screen to another MAN-SIZED bump. Okay; now Doofus is just
showing off now. Huey thinks it's hot here and the nephews decide to
get a soda and look around the town for a while. Dewey offers Doofus
a walk; and Doofus no sells because he's going to hang around and
finish his film. And notice how the fence disappears on the shot?
Logic break #2 for the episode as the nephews walk away from him. We
then go into the gift shop as we get some really decent gifts
displayed on the glass window as Huey admits that Beau's souvenir
shop is the biggest store in town. Geez; how convenient is that?

He makes a fortune in souvenirs as it
has everything from the civil war to boot. There is even a cannon
conveniently place in front of them on the sidewalk too. Doofus then
runs in screaming for help as he tells them that Launchpad put his
saddle on backwards and the horse ran away with him. In other words;
the normal Friday night stuff. It's a false alarm. POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Doofus doesn't know where he went and of course he got a good picture
of him. Oh; how convenient as Dewey wants to do a search and here
comes Launchpad on backward saddle with his horse as the search is
over according to Huey. But the funny stuff keeps marching on as
Launchpad continues to ride in town (complete with a hung Confederate
flag in the background, natch) as we get some watching on from the
kids commenting on LP's horse riding skills. They notice LP going up
Duck Ridge and go after it as we see Grace climbing up the hill. How
about that for skill?! She IS a cartoon character. AHHAHAHAHAHA!
STOMP! OUCH! Ummmm...We go to the 3rd person adventure
video game shot as Launchpad crashes into some bushes leading up to a
cave and then into the cave as Grace finally throws LP off her (what
a shock?!) and LP flies into the air and then takes three really sick
bumps on his ass and then another really sick bump right into the
rock wall with his beak. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. On LP's
beak. We zoom in as LP proclaims that it takes a lot longer to crash
a horse than an airplane. HAHA! He thanks progress as he wakes up and
see three old soldiers with rifles looking for a firing squad (all
dogspeople- one is Alan Young, one is Alan Oppenheimer and the other
is Frank Welker) and wants voluteers as they cork their rifles and
point them at Launchpad to end the segment nearly 12 and a half
minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see
Grace and Launchpad huddled together in mortal fear of being MURDERED
by ghost soldiers. The soldiers proclaim that the horse and LP look
awfully familiar as the kids arrive and swear in DUBBED DUCK STYLE
(Holy Quackamole!). The soldiers think Launchpad is Rhubarb McQuack
and that he has aged well. Now if they are truly real; then we have a
logic break since the Civil War took place about 100+ years ago. LP
gets off a religious reference (heavens to helicopters!) as they are
the lost soldiers of General Rhubarb McQuack as they get flashed by
Doofus and the guns go off. Okay; the joke is seriously overplayed
now Doofus. Their guns go away as they huddle and surrender. And we
accuse France of this somehow? Huey proclaims that they cannot be
taken prisoners as Doofus proclaims that LP has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN
in mind. And then panics of course. LP gets up and gives them the
attention and the soldiers salute without question. LP tells them to
be at ease as he is Rhubarb's grandson Launchpad see. The soldiers
call it real unfortunate sonny. And then we go to the cave with a
hole on top as the soldiers sulk and sleep and eat in disgrace for
the loss at Duck Ridge. We pan over to the Merriquack the river
patrol boat during the war (which the soldier points out).

They have been hiding in secret all
this time and living on beyond the point that they should be living
at. And they have been there since they lost because of their idiot
captain Rhubarb McQuack. They apologize for having such an unpleasant
memory for them. At least they don't hold a grudge against Launchpad
himself...yet. LP proclaims that he has unpleasant memories and of
course he doesn't remember them. I don't think we need to go there
LP. We get some water splashing and here comes another old soldier
named young Billy (The Bugle Boy with the white mustache who is older
than dirt – Alan Young) with two buckets of water. The soldiers
introduce the boys to him as Launchpad asks why he is young. See,
young Billy lied about his age so he could join the army. I wondered
what possessed Eric Kulas to get into ECW?! Hmmm...Nah; couldn't be.
He could also blow a good charge since they lost because of that
lousy, rotten, bungling, polecat McQuack lost them the battle of Duck
Ridge. I'm wondering if they are going to expire if they keep gasping
like that.

Launchpad asks about their time in the
cave as we hear another voice and then see near a scarecrow (which
looks like General Rhubarb) as it's good old Eagle Eye (the one with
the long white beard, RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM and glasses, Brian
Cummings) as he is the lookout as he uses the broom as a gun. HAHA!
And he of course keeps his glasses off so he pratfalls over a pumpkin
and eats pumpkin on the way down. You know what; I have a new found
respect for Barney O'Tourek after seeing that spot. I can take them
being old and a little over the top with their hate for Rhubarb; but
that pratfall was insulting to me. And of course he could have seen
good if it wasn't for that meddling McQuack and his stupid horse
Disgrace losing the battle of Duck Ridge. Yeah; I know I made up that
name; but Grace is the second in command so there you go. I see the
gasping has tired them out which is good attention to detail there.
Launchpad thinks that they are really in a rut. NO?! REALLY?! Eagle
Eye gets his broom on cork and decides to leave as the soldiers want
him to stay with the visitors but he is on guard duty and has to
leave see. He gets a little too excited with Grace (thinking that she
is a female dogsperson) and Grace backs up towards the STOVE FROM
HELL (helpfully pointed out by Dewey) and takes some hot coals right
in the horse's ass. HAHA!

She sniffs the smoke (AND THAT'S BAD
FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVING RATING AND QUACK PACK EPISODES!) and jumps
into the air and grabs onto the spike ceiling in Scooby Doo fashion.
I see Gluefoot was her husband. AHHAHAHAHAHA! STOMP! OUCH! Ummm...
And of course the spike column breaks and drops onto the ground in
front of the ducks and soldiers. There is one of those out of context
things that will cause problems; trust me when you see it 15:31 into
the DVD. Then more spikes fall down as we get the shot of the roof
shooting spikes (Helpfully pointed out by Doofus of course) as
everyone runs out of the cave like scalded old dogs and ducks. Oh;
the irony! Eagle Eye wants the Merriquack moved and the men wheel it
out successfully without any further incident as the cave gets caved
in and the chickens flee. Well; that was quick and pointless wasting
of time. The soldiers sob on cue because they cannot return to Duck
Ridge in shame since it would be too great. They have no place to go
as LP finally blames Rhubarb of being an idiot. So he calls on the
troop and proclaims that he cannot change the past; but he is going
to give them a second chance to redeem themselves as he thinks he is
pointing at Duck Ridge as solider #1 blows him off as the other way.
HAHA!

Launchpad catches himself of course
and tries the left side; but the soldier blows him off again as the
red ring on his belt slides down his ankles. If you cannot guess what
happens next; you have no business reading this rant. LP explains
that tomorrow at Duck Ridge they will re-enact the battle
commemorating their loss. LP plans to give them their battle alright
and LP is going to lead the charge as the chicken is on his head
again. HAHA! He salutes him as the chicken bites his finger and as I
expected him to he trips backwards and lands on his back with a
decent bump. HAHA! Eagle Eye questions his troops on making sure he
isn't Rhubarb McQuack. Billy proclaims that he guesses that it runs
in the family. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real
comments. They shake their heads in shame and that ends the segment
17 minutes in. If it wasn't for the obvious logic break; this episode
would be perfect....

After the commercial break; we head to
the top of Duck Ridge as the balloon is stationed near the cliff. We
pan down southeast to the ground near the street in town as the party
has begun in earnest. We cut near the stands as Dewey has the
binoculars ready with Louie and snickers as the town thinks that LP
is going to lose this battle. Louie proclaims that they are going to
show them what would have happened if LP was really there. I think
this battle is going to end badly at this rate; I just know it. Louie
asks if this is going to work of course. We then head to the balloon
as the pig furry is sitting in the balloon; but the old soldiers come
up from behind and sack him good like ham. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! We then
pan over to the three re-enactment soldiers laughing their asses off
as we see Huey come from the rock hiding place with a glass of
lemonade telling them that lemonade is being served back here. The
three stooge troops buy it of course and go behind them where we get
the FCC-FRIENDLY PUNCH OUT OF DOOM off-screen of course. We zoom in
and see the old soldiers come out proclaiming that they still kept up
with the styles. They chuckle as Huey runs to the cliff edge and
waves. Which leads to the pan shot ANIME BACKGROUND OF DOOM to ground
level as Dewey and Louie proclaim that phase one has indeed begun.

They give him the circle sign and we
get another anime background to reveal Launchpad on Grace the horse.
We go to the starting line as we see Launchpad on his horse along
with Beau on his. Rufus is on the podium with the microphone as he
trusts that the boys know their roles. But if there are any problems;
he'll prompt from his script. We then see Beau draw out his sword
(wearing the gray uniform with red trim as there is another
Confederate flag in the background) and proclaim that he will lead my
brave soldiers forward to victory and the humiliation..ERR...defeat
of the McQuack Marauders. The crowd cheers on as the old lady tells
DuBarque to do it again while waving a flag of DuBarque holding the
sword with his mouth. I betcha that doesn't get past BS&P
considering what happened with Seton Hall. LP gets all evil and LP
rides the horse towards Duck Ridge as we cut back to the podium as
Rufus (Funny that he has feathers in his last name despite not being
a duck; just noticed that now) is testing the microphone and clearing
his throat to annoy me. Ah; I see they moved the cannon off the
sidewalk (from earlier) onto the podium just for my amusement. He
orders the soldiers to their faces as he has the rope to the cannon
as we see Beau on his white horse in front of the gray uniform
troops. Sadly; they don't get the cool red trim. Funny how Disney
Captions claims that the soldiers are chattering when it's the crowd
who is doing it.

So we head up the hill to see Grace
climbing up the hill with Launchpad. She IS Gluefoot's husband and
she knows it. STOMP! OUCH! Ummm... She turns around and the old
soldiers cheer that Launchpad hasn't screwed up yet. Huey and Doofus
come over and tell Launchpad not to do anything and then history will
not repeat itself see. Launchpad loves this plan because he cannot
lose; except at cards, sports, checkers, and video games. Thank you
Doofus for revealing a gem I didn't need to hear as....So we head
down to the podium shot as Rufus has the rope ready as he calls the
gentlemen and ladies of the highest order. We get a shot of the old
period folks and then back to the podium (and another shot of the
Confederate Flag) as Rufus has the honor of saying: Let the battle of
Duck Ridge commence! He shoots the cannon at exactly the 19 minute
mark as the white horse neighs wildly of course. Beau takes out his
sword and it's forward march as the soldiers march forward. We cut
back to Launchpad as he takes his sword out of the holder...and it
works! IT'S A MIRACLE! Launchpad then orders his troops to kick their
ass (kick them in the pants) and Rufus is SHOCKED to hear that as he
checks the scripts and finds nothing of the sort.

He goes to the microphone to General
McQuack; but Louie literally pulls the plug on the microphone
underneath before he can tell him that it isn't in the script. A man
shouts out as Rufus notices that his microphone is dead. NO?!
REALLY?! The troops and Beau stop as they see Launchpad's troops
coming down the hill as they should have long ago as Beau calls
Launchpad a lunatic. I love real comments that you know. Rufus is
pouring papers on the podium as he cannot find anything in the
script. Beau and the troops are stunned as the soldiers have got them
cornered as they always want them...and then the fatalism kicks in
for Launchpad as he wants to join in. Huey pleads for Launchpad not
to do it; but Grace starts the Gish Gallop of Death. Dewey and Louie
are not liking this from below as we get the binocular shot of
Launchpad jumping over the cliff and naturally he tangles himself
into the ropes this time around. HAHA! The air balloon gets dragged
down as Rufus realizes that this IS in the script. See; Launchpad DID
want to give Rufus what he wanted after all. No one stops the power
of fatalism; not even Launchpad. Beau and the soldier rush to attack
while McQuack is up (or down; does it really matter). Eagle Eye in
the balloon does do something good for a change as he undoes the sand
bags to get more altitude as Launchpad and his horse panic like
crazy.

We then cut to the MerriQuack as
Huey and Doofus get on top of it. Doofus tells Huey that the grits
are loaded in the cannon and they can begin the second charge. Well;
LP is out of the picture, so this should go smoothly. At least in
theory. Huey tries to pull on the wooden brake; but it is rusted and
will not budge. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. So we
then see the balloon rise up into the sky as Launchpad panics again
and then the saddle gets undone. No; really, I'm as shocked as you
are. Launchpad drops like a stone with his sword and pushes on the
wooden brake so hard when Huey bails that the MerriQuack gets started
up again and goes down the hill. Doofus proclaims that he did it and
started the second charge as he flashes Launchpad again with the
camera. We see some cheering as everyone cheers for death. The old
soldiers bail away stage left to avoid the charge as Young Billy is
inside the Merriquack (I thought we forgot about him) with the cannon
and he fires it calling them ornery polecats. The gray uniform
soldiers eat grit and it tastes good to them I see. More shooting as
Beau takes one to the face as well. The MerriQuack races into town
with reckless abandon as everyone in the crowd bails from the stands
and the MerriQuack crashes into it and destroys the stands of course.
HAHA! Launchpad rises from the carnage (with Beau SHOCKED and
APPALLED) with Doofus and young Billy as the old soldiers surround
the gray soldiers with their rifles set to profits.

Beau waves the white hanky and
finally decides to surrender. HAHA! The old soldiers cheer for
victory on that one as we go to the scene changer as all the babyface
players are on stage as Rufus states that it is agreed. Rufus decides
that they will no longer celebrate the humiliation of the soldiers.
And we get to say that behind the Confederate Flag too. See they were
at the real battle and the rest were not. The old lady gleefully
blows off the obvious logic break for me which makes her the smartest
one in the entire episode. Beau clears his throat as he calls them
gentlemen as the old soldiers are SHOCKED to hear that. Rufus
proclaims that they suffered long enough and they of Duck Ridge wants
to welcome them into the community for good. Everyone cheers on cue
as we cut to Launchpad and the nephews (along with Grace) as LP asks
where Doofus is. And there is Doofus on the front side as he has the
camera and asks for some cheese. They give him some cheese and we get
one final flash. We get the B&W stamp shot of the gang
against a black background as Doofus proclaims that Rhubarb would be
proud to end the episode at 21:16.
Nah; I think he would BE JEALOUS! Minus the obvious age logic break;
this episode was AWESOME! ****¾
(95%).

THE
REVIEW LINE

Well; it was damn close but it didn't quite get over the perfect
hump. This was a truly surreal experience for me since you don't
normally see a civil war re-enactment on a Disney show; or a
children's cartoon for that matter. I do see a few Confederate flags
in one (Scooby Doo comes to mind) though. Launchpad; needless to say
was the star from start to finish and everyone else played their
roles well including Beau who turned out to be just a sub-tile heel
as Baloo would say. I also loved the build up to it and the old
soldiers as well. The only thing I thought was bad was the obvious
logic break. It's a civil war and it happened over 100 years ago; so
the soldiers should be dead actually or ghosts in this case. The only
other thing that annoyed me was Eagle Eye's pratfall into a pumpkin,
but everything else was dead on. Oh; and maybe Doofus' overuse of the
camera of course; but at least he reeled it in about 15 minutes in.
So; while I didn't get a perfect episode, I got an excellent one
which was great considering the first one I ranted on earlier today.
TMS' animation was great too; minus the anime background in act
three. So next up is the Christmas Eve rants with Sweet Duck Of Youth
and Earth Quack. So...