The Stranger is Seattle’s alternative arts and culture newspaper or Seattle’s only newspaper if you believe their boasts. They post interesting stories, I enjoy reading it from time to time, it’s fun. They have a column called I, Anonymous which is sort of like a missed connections thing and it usually yields some interesting tales.

This particular one alleged comes from an audience member at a Seattle production of The Book of Mormon and it tells the tale of some of his neighboring theatergoers getting a little too hot in the saddle for a musical production. From The Stranger:

To the couple sitting next to me during Aug 1’s performance of Book of Mormon: Theater etiquette is not always easy to grasp but to finger your girlfriend during a live show is actually frowned upon, as is the amorous penis-rubbing return gesture on the part of your girlfriend. Also, when your neighbor (close enough to feel your arm muscles wriggling in your amorous attempts) asks you to please not insert your finger into your girlfriend’s vagina while watching a musical, the proper response is generally thought to not be an aggressive belch in the face of the person making the request. Apparently these etiquette guidelines are not universally acknowledged.

My intial thought is why didn’t you get up and find a manager? Were you perhaps interested in what you were seeing until something went dreadfully wrong? Also why are these people paying money to go to a play if they are only going to poke around on each other? Seems like a waste of cash.

This shit shouldn’t be glorified or trivialized because it’s exactly whats wrong with people now. Going to show that trys to piss people off and be offensive is one thing. That’s fine. It’s called artistic expression and freedom of speech, get over it. But fingering someone and getting an over the pants hand job while sitting next to a complete stranger in a room that i’d imagine, had to be pretty full of people, is just as low as you can get.