Encircled by cautiously assembled ad-hoc antique gadgetry, the decrepit & cracked reliquary that was the last of the great tablets blinked with intermittent light & the screen flickered momentarily.

She quickly signalled a disconnect - No smoke, thats a relief. Well lock down that configuration called out the head woman, Let me secure that last pin in the rig and well try again. Make sure you keep the water feed-rate stable, Im going to need a steady current, run it just above the regulator rating & dont let it drop, if we get this old wreck operating like the others did we may not get much time. And make sure youve got your stylus ready.

The younger man glanced across gauge and dial, before looking back to indicate his readiness on all counts. And then, under the intently maintained & wary gaze of her ardent adherent, she soldered the last strands of the cobbled together power loom onto the malformed & improvised plug in the now confirmed order, and tenderly slid it wholly into the corroded niche in the base of that marvellous mechanistic artefact of a now bygone electrical age, which they, and others before them, had studied so long.

It had been painstakingly assembled from the mixed remnants of three such devices found so long ago in the same site dig - a screen from here, a button set from there, the best of the technological residue that slow passing time had left them  but all centring around the last viable drive & processor board theyd salvaged from the last remains that werent either crushed or crumbling, or otherwise unhappily mashed thru her predecessors careful endeavours. Of course shed incessantly studied the almost infinite records, notes & diagrams of their work with the objects, pored over the eternal & sacred religious scrolls conjecting at their source, their meaning. And now, on the brink of their last chance of unlocking the devices mysteries, she found herself pausing to check her trembling hands, now overflowing with their own micro-voltage of nervous anticipation, before straightening herself, and looking squarely in the face of her uneasy subordinate.

Thats it Once you trigger that relay we may not have long  according to everything Ive been taught it should present the last thing it displayed, and well be the first to see it for a thousand thousand years. Here illuminated upon this archaeological detritus of our deep distant past well slip a glimpse inside the roots of our myths, and legends will be to us revealed - Stories spoken round eons of night fires will be thereon displayed in their original form 

Again she stilled her hands, and then each in turn breathed in search of clear mind, sat together in silence for a short while, while they wondered whether it would ever feel like it was time. And they could not but think anew of what might be revealed, what mysteries resolved; the roots of what myths would be gleaned once the long dormant screen shone out thru the mire of ages, its inscrutable obscurity once more illuminated across an age of darkness.

I have The List 

Forget the list. We know the list. Well compare it with what shows on the screen once we get this thing up. Thats if it does the same as the others did.

But the Recording Form, theres an order, a protocol.

I know. You think I dont? Ive read reams of them. Weve all had our theories as to what we may find, but I want to try to come at this unmarked & impartial, from a new direction. The Form tries to concentrate you on the detail, when previously theres not been a long enough live period with one of these things to get more than a few notes down. I want you to concentrate on the broader range of content, get me more headings. If we do what theyve all done before us, well just get the same results  the power is in the things we havent done  Use the memory skills that got you into this job in the first place. Remember, I want a wider record of what we see, get down the headings and then memorise anything else you can. This is our last chance. Remember everything you can, well unravel it later. She ground her teeth & imperceptibly nodded, and he closed the contacts that fed his juice thru the jigged up power-rig, and on into the now hard wired relic.

I too can see gaiters on the front, though I'd rather see the thicker K series front end (like mine) with the stiffer top yolk & better brakes, but then you lose the spoked front wheel. I like the look of the cable/undertank res front brake solution, but dislike its lagging feel & detest the pivoty callipers whose name escapes me as I type... H/light & bars are nice, I think I'd be looking at a short front mudfenderguard similar in shape to the rear mud fenderguard, which by the way is slightly too short for me, but is longer than what I'd put on the front. I wonder how the rear plate would be done & how it would effect the lines?

The tank is nice but I prefer doing this with the K ally tank as it doesn't rust, or at least not in the same way, but then this one may well be lacquered or at least greezed to stave off t' rust.

Engine looks nice but being a messy sod I'd rather see it after 10k miles with a healthy dulling fur of ally oxidisation. I prefer RAASK reasets as the more foot forward position is not my preference, and for those I know with bigger feet the standard position means they end up kicking the carb bowls. I like the pipes, as they're a much more efficient length than mine, but not too long, stopping by the rear axle. I would have thought this would help with breathing/scavenging, I'm guessing at lower revs as the track/power/dyno based pipes I see are most often longer, but this is a pure guess.

I know that the local (and best) Dave the mechanic runs straight thru/ough 40mm longinsh pipes on his cafe boxer, with megaphone outers welded on to look like silencers, but there are only the smallest of slitted inlets from the thru/ough pipe into the megaphones. I don't recall if he has a front or rear (or both) cross pipe, but I think his exhaust is intended to work with his flowed heads, 90s carbs & 336 cam at higher revs - so I'm guessing long for high rev gain, and maybe short for low? Either way these look a nice length, and I've always liked a bit of exhaust wrap.

Tyres are nice, tho/ough I don't know what they'd turn like? Seat is too long for my needs as everyone steadfastly refuses to get on the back, and I'm not insured for a pillion anyway. Is it just me or are there really miserly rear pegs, if any at all. A double seat & no rear pegs would be an MOT fail at Micky Spermans bike shop, the one shop in the area where you sort of get made to feel uncomfortable for inconveniencing them when you pop in, or maybe that's just me? I prefer the stubby 'cut off behind the shock mounts' subframe, but then I think it needs bracing between the remaining top tubes to discourage the twist I imagine I can feel at the back of my hacked/unbraced rear end.

Can't see a battery mount box under the gearbox, so I wonder what's going on there? Total loss system? I note what seems to be a breather/pod/filter for the crankcase breather pipe at the top rear of the engine, below the petcocktap? I like no indicators or mirrors. I always try to keep a good awareness of what's around me but at the end of the day get keep out of MY way

Overall, no doubt better than I could manage so all respect to whoever did it, and its certainly more shiny than I would end up with. I do sort of prefer them to look lived on & not worth nicking, you know?

Again, props to the builder as it's infinitely better than I could do, tho/ough it's far too finished for me One of the only uses of the star wheels I've not hated, and I guess for me the only thing that stands out is that my eye wants the h/lamp to be higher...

wrt post I
It would be a shame if they found an adult dating site, hopefully it is something deep and worthwhile.

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II: No, it has never stopped me before but then, and I mean this as general comment rather than direct to you, I am of the half baked opinion that I was sitting at this table 1st, and I just started nattering to myself, so anyone that came here later out of all the sorry pages one could sit at out of all of the whole of the Wild Weird Wub, if someone seats at this table, they can like it or lump it

I: I've a few options, one of course being a solitary page asking where al the porn gone, but I guess I'll have to see what their report says, and then see if I can import/paste an xml sheet into ADV? If not, I'll link out to it.

Ok. As I have nothing productive to do, or indeed anything to do, and believe me that's not as good as it sounds, I'll ramble on 'bout this one for a bit...

I'd rather see it sat on to see how the chassis settles under load, but I've too little spare bandwidth to load thru/ough the pages at the link to find a suitable reference pic, so I'll go with this one. Rather than repeating it each time, let's take into account the general rule that it's waaaaay better than I could do etc. ad inf.

The front & back suspension are too extended to give a proper view, but they make it look too high for me, and this in turn throws out the endmufflercan, though with reference to a previous review of another, I note that it's a long exhaust run. The front downpies are routed sweetly, if a little tightly to the thus heated front cover. I'm also guessing that it's a 2 bolt front cover, maybe with the bottom dowel removed for ease of access.

Don't think the engine has been moved, certainly not moved up, even if it were to have been shifted forward a la AMA racers. Uses the type 2 airbox, which is not my preference, tho/ough it's probably better for breathing, especially if the trumpets were drilled. No battery visible, and not visible under the gearbox in this pic. However in this case there is of course the potential of placing something in the seat hump, and I guess if you could afford to build this, then you could afford a high power mini gel battery or some swanky capacitor battery replacement unit?

I cannot forgive under any circumstances the apparent lack of a sidestand...

The lack of front suspension load somehow make me see it as having a slightly tighter rake/trail in the forks, perhaps thru/ough an offset top tripleyolktree? Or maybe that's an illusion? Or it's a slightly larger front wheel? Or maybe it's an illusion, as loading up the front would in effect push the front wheel away from the front cover slightly. Or maybe it's an illusion? Not sure what the front end is off, as I have a vague memory of it saying something about the source somewhere on one of the pages I saw when looking at this bike. But anyway it appears to have 4 pot Brembos hooked on via what seem to be fabricated brake mount plates? Again, something that's beyond me. Onto floating disks, but I don't specifically recognise the source of the wheels. I'd like to run 4 pots on the K fronted DMW boxer, , which ought to bolt straight on, if someone was throwing out a set? The front mudfenderguard is nice and discreet, and is there some form of fork bracing integrated into the mount. For some reason I'm feeling the running gear front & rear may be Oilhead maybe?

If my memory is correct (it won't be) from when I last looked pics of the other side I think it has the preferred Paralever rear cardondrivearmshaft, which I've always wanted to slot onto the DMW (see above begging phrase), though what with the current bike being a twinshock, I'd need to position & weld a mount to the frame, neither of which I can do; and fab up a mount for the lower torque/suspension arm mounting point, which I can't do either. I'm unclear as to whether the Oilhead paralever would fit, though I seem to recall* having seen it done, but the very end of the Airhead run had a Paralever of some sort I'm (moderately) sure(ish)** But what do I know...

The bars & hand gear look good, and sit well with the fairing, which seems orientated to run with the shape/lines of the bike, so again I wonder if it's derived from a Oilhead to match the front end. But I'm sire the into is on the linked pages somewhere, if I had the bandwidth or inclination to look. And so we come to the tank, which works in shape & position, but I've always had a fondness for assembling mutant boxers using primarily BMW parts. This may of course be one, but I don't recognise it, and would perhaps myself have shot at an R65LS tank, which I find to be a pleasant alternative to the standard R tank, and I can never afford one of those great big tanks, whatever they're called, again I forget.

To my (bent) eye the rear subframe looks fabricated, with the lower strut mounting points repositioned, and fitted on just one side? I wonder what this might do to the rigidity for the seated rider. Either way the seat is presented at a pleasant angle, and abuts to the tank nicely. I can't help but think that the seat & tail unit are custom made, and would require a level of skill once more beyond my feeble powers. The padding looks a bit luxurious for me, though the form of the rear pod, and selection & placement of the rear light works. I'd probably not get away with that angle on the number plate, as when mine was originally angled sort of like that I got plenty of grief from the Pointy Headed Cnuts, as according to them their Auto Number Plate Recog wouldn't read it.

Footpegs look well placed, tho/ough I don't recognise the type from this low res image, and is it me, or are there no indicators, unless that's what the blob is by the exhaust mount plate, tho/ough I think not***, and maybe the fronts are in the mirrors? But otherwise I don't see indicators. The frame colour goes with the paintjob, tho/ough I might have gone for black all over myself. Black & rusty.

I'm not going to proof read this shit, so if it doesn't make sense or is horrifically misspelled you'll know why...

* If you misspell that word, missing out the last L, the auto-spell tries to render it as rectal, take from that what you will...
** Don't ever use me as a reliable sauce of info.
*** More likely a breather?, but if so, one that breathes over the back wheel, which whether it's oil or fuel makes me somewhat nervous.

It's based on an R80, built in Japan. Can't tell what year but it does have a paralever swingarm. The "knob" in the rear is the hydraulic preload adjuster for the Ohlins shock. It does have rear turnsignals, just above the license plate.
Interesting how he shaped the subframe support around the shock.

It's based on an R80, built in Japan. Can't tell what year but it does have a paralever swingarm. The "knob" in the rear is the hydraulic preload adjuster for the Ohlins shock. It does have rear turnsignals, just above the license plate. Interesting how he shaped the subframe support around the shock. PIC

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Ah, much as I thought, with access to other pics it all becomes clear I note the right hand seat support running inside the shock, I seem to recall the standard is outside?, and of course the knob/indicators info makes perfect sense with a better pic. Still looking for the battery tho/ough.

Yes, a former resident of fair Nailsburgh and it's my understanding that one of his kids was born in the same ward as me, at the same time. They used to call him 'Squeaky Fart', but when I did a couple of bits with him in the early '90s he was a delight to record. The catalogue is generally great but sometimes wavers, but one of my personal favourites is Murder in the Air