Friday, March 20, 2009

Equinox Reflections

The Big Thaw

starts with a trickle

water running through silenceas innocous as breath, a slight relaxationat corners of the mouth.Just when winter has become a habit,an old coat the sun peels off with a touch.Your foot leaves a signature in new mud, shiny as a new skinor fresh, primed canvas.You notice a blade of grass:green, defiantly green.Inhale, you take your coat offa crocus opensin the blue irisof someone's glance.

Vermont, 1982

Somehow the Spring Equinox has arrived, this winter, as other winters, has been survived, the drumbeat of Mother Earth beneath feet is quickening, the hum of life vibrates, the budding of trees is again a cyclical magic. If I still lived in Vermont, I would be hearing the sounds of snow melting in little trickles, a kind of underground, unconscious energy reflected in the eyes I look into. I've pulled up a poem I wrote when I did live in Vermont. Vermont is a place, with it's turning wheel of seasons, that I have always held close to my heart.

So I took the day off. I remember many times when the Equinox was celebrated with large groups of people, in rituals many of which I organized or hosted or collaborated on. Now, I live very quietly indeed in a little town that (at night) really does seem to fall off the edge of the world into some starry pool of the galaxy......and I must celebrate the Equinox alone. It's been a hard winter, a winter of composting so many layers of the lives I've had. So what calls now, what weaving to begin or join if I can, as the world wakes up? What is needed, what is possible?Here, on this auspicious day, I offer a prayer for my brother, Glenn Greene Pillsbury. Thank you for what you've taught me Glenn, for travelling down the roadways of this life with me in the ways that we have. May you forgive me for all the ways that I failed you, did not understand, was unkind, understood so little. May you be truly at peace now, healed, reborn. It is strange to be thinking of death on the first day of Spring, but that is what is. Death and Life are always joined, yin and yang, Persephone's journey.Last year it was my privilege to teach a 5 day class at Kripalu, and in the class was Ilana Stein, a professional midwife from NY. Ilana had a serious illness, and was thin from chemo, but luminous in the work we shared. When we tranced to begin our mask work, she had a vision of a white Goddess who came to her, dancing before her in gestures of "gathering" and "offering", an infinity sign. Ilana made a wonderful mask to wear in honor of that vision, and, syncronistically, another member of the group, who was a professional ballarina, had brought a white dancing dress with her. She spontaneously offered it to Ilana..........and it fit her perfectly! Ilana passed away in September - but I have always felt that her poem, and vision, was an extraordinary gift to all of us present. I copy it again below.Gather and Offerby Ilana SteinGather towards the NorthGather towards the SouthGather towards the EastGather Above, gather below and gather the great MysteryGather what you’ve studiedGather what you’ve learnedGather how you’ve lived, and gather what you’ve earned.Gather what you’ve loved and gather what you’ve lost.Gather what you’ve soiled and gather what it’s costGather what you’ve wasted and gather what you’ve savedGather what you’ve shopped for and gather what you’ve tastedGather who your friends are and gather how they’ve caredGather your relations and gather how you’ve faredThen Gather birth and celebrate, gather death and cryGather hope, regret and longing and gather up the whyGather up the waiting, gather struggles, gather challenges.Gather all the goals you’ve met and gather up the braveryGather faceless fear and all the broken promises.Gather yesterday today, and gather time tomorrowGather what you’ve ruined and gather when you’ve failed.Gather up the personal and gather up the frailGather up the culture and gather up the mythsGather all the songs you’ve sung, and all expressive artGather dances gather dreams and gather up your heartGather in the garden and gather at the beach.Gather on the mountain and gather what’s in reachGather in the workplace, and gather on the roadsGather in the home you’ve made and gather all you kinGather your impatience, your frustration and your greed.Gather up the words you’ve said and gather what you need.Gather up your journey and all the time you’ve spentGather up your courage and walk inside your tent.Gather up your secrets and and gather up your wisdomGather what you’ve forgottenGather what you’ve meant.Gather faith and ReverenceGather truth and and gather lies,Gather secrets great and smallGather wisdom of the ages and wrap them in your shawlGather sickness, Gather health gather tenderness and rageGather all your stories and gather on the stageGather up your gatherings, and stir the basket’s bountyGather all remaining threads and search across the countyLook out among the human beings, look out among relationsThen offer up your gatherings to all nations and creationsOffer to your children and offer to your kinOffer to the hungry, to the needy and the grimOffer to the blessed and offer to the primOffer to the kings and queens the princess and princessesOffer to the beggars, paupers, jesters and priestessesOffer to the little birds the chipmunks and the deerOffer to the badger, mole, the frogs, and yes the bearOffer to the green spring shoots, the white and yellow crocusOffer to the budding trees the bushes and the rushesOffer to the sand and mud the concrete and the buildingsOffer to the cook and maid the seamstress and the butlerOffer to the farmers - offer to the farmOffer to the doctors and offer for no harmOffer to the visionaries offer to the artistsOffer to the frightened, offer to the scaredOffer to the endangered and to the unpreparedOffer to the hurting, offer to be healed,Offer to your neighbor and offer to the fieldOffer grace and offer peace offer possibilityOffer privilege trust and faithOffer gratitude amazement wonderment and aweOffer loving kindness, compassion, joy and loveOffer up your story, offer honor and integrityOffer for community Offer your vulnerabilityOffer what you’ve learned and offer what you haveoffer what you knowOffer what you’ve sharedOffer both your ears, your shoulders and your tearsOffer all you’ve gathered, offer all your caresYou’ve gathered through the springtime,the summer and the fall.And you’ve offered season’s greetings without going to the mall.Now rest and build your strength up.

2 comments:

Thank you.I mean that with a touched heart.I travelled all the way from Australia to Canada in order to experience again the seasons as I knew them growing up, on the East Coast. Very rarely do the seasons change dramatically anywhere in Australia. I also came home to be with my daughter, of course, but to know the earth's turning so intimately as one does in the Northern Hemisphere also drew me strongly to move back home, with my new Aussie husband.Art and the seasons go together.:)