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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Stuck In Circles

I have come to the conclusion that as part of being human, getting caught in circles is a common way of living.

I feel that in order to get out of my path of continuing circles, something must change.

I work every day at trying to become a better person. In the beginning it was solely for the purpose of healing. Now, I do it because I like the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel like I am actually doing something to make my life the way I want it to be. I feel more in control.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I feel needs to change.

The first thing that came to mind was being more independent. This pertains to my feelings, decisions, and religion. By independent, I mean that I need to think for myself and think about what is going to work for me. This feels selfish to me, but it is what I feel will help me be happy. I can't live other people's lives. I have to live my own.

I am also going around in circles with the abuse. There is no sense of closure about anything to do with it. I am still working on what I can do to help that feeling.

I am only going to be taking baby steps to make these circles a little wider so that it doesn't seem so much like a circle, just a big path. (I hope that makes sense.)

2 comments:

Circles keep you in the same place going round and round. Nothing really changes. Spirals are better. You do change as you go either up or down the spiral. Healing means going up the spiral to the next level.