Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

EVENTS

Glenn Beck Explains the History of Satan

During Glenn Beck’s three day wingnutapalooza in Salt Lake City over the 4th of July, the one that included his bizarre “man in the moon” show, he also took groups of contributors on a tour of a makeshift museum he and David Barton put together. And he told them that all of human history can be explained as Satan trying to destroy God’s chosen people because that will mean God won’t be God anymore. Because that totally makes sense.

Comments

1. The Mormons are god’s chosen people. The Real Jews. Everyone else are Gentiles, their word for outsiders. They even have a New Covenant with god, one as usual, not written down on paper.

2. Xians are not the chosen people. All xians are Fake Xians, except the Mormons.

Beck might be causing some problems for the Mormon leaders. They have a Pope, the chief prophet, seer, and revelator. And that Pope gets uneasy when other Mormons start infringing on his territory. Which is making stuff up and claiming it came from a Sky Fairy.

It’s happened many times. No one knows how many groups have schismed away from the Mormon church but it is probably over a 100. And many of those are a whole lot uglier, hard as that is to imagine.

I want to grab every bible-thumping, Glenn-Beck-believing, Rush-Limbaugh-supporting, Ann-Coulter-loving loon and force them to actually flaming *READ* the bible, the Constitution and a few dozen history books written by people-who-are-not-David-Barton. They won’t be allowed to rely on, “But I read on the Internet…”, “Somebody forwarded me this thing in email….”, “My pastor says…”. Read. All. Of. It. Then, maybe, we can talk. How these folks manage to remember to breathe is beyond me. Thank evolution for the development of the brain stem, I suppose.

As an aside, having Glenn Beck and David Barton together in one place is the very definition of a shit sandwich.

Let’s see…according to the mormons, the original ‘real’ chosen people got wiped out by Indians in the first few centuries AD. Joseph Smith started the Mormons in the 1820s. So according to their own doctrine, there were no chosen people for about a 1600 year period. In this period, presumably God was weakened and Satan was free to roam the earth.

That period directly coincided with the rise of Christianity in Europe.

b. – Order of Lagomorpha“As an aside, having Glenn Beck and David Barton together in one place is the very definition of a shit sandwich.”
An open faced sandwich is not a sandwich. It’s a meal of lies.