"I WUV YOU, I WUV YOU," SAID THE LITTLE BLUE MAN

GARY W. SUMMERS

Elton John is not the only one who can "remember when rock was young." From 1955 to 1965 there were also a number of novelty songs, such as "Flying Saucer" (Parts 1 and 2), in which a narration was interspersed with phrases from current popular songs. "Ambrose, Part 5" featured a girl who keeps chatting to her boyfriend about her feet hurting; his only response is, "Just keep walking." Then there was: "Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb" (1959), which introduced the short-lived ginchy into the American vocabulary. Edd Byrnes, the male voice in the song, starred on the television show, 77 Sunset Strip, at the time, and Connie Stevens, from Hawaiian Eye, was the gal who kept pestering him for his comb. David Seville, prior to teaming up with the Chipmunks later in 1958, enjoyed great success with "Witch Doctor." "Mr. Custer" came along in 1960, as did "Alley Oop." Ray Stevens charted novelty songs for 15 years (1961-75) and has enjoyed great success with albums of humorous material since.

Just as a side point, all of these songs, as well as the early television programs, were popular without filthy language, bathroom humor, or sexual themes. Hmm.

One of the novelty songs, which may not have been played by anyone since 1958, was "Little Blue Man" by Betty Johnson. "Purple People Eater" by Sheb Wooley had been number one for six weeks the year previous, but Johnson's story about a little blue man from outer space who fell in love with her only hit the top twenty, although it spent three months on the top forty. Alas! It was a tale of unrequited love and was thus very sad, but it was all in good fun.

We cannot say if Corky Ra ever heard that song, but he claims to have been visited in 1975 by "hairless, blue, otherworldly beings," according to the April 26th Denton Record-Chronicle (7D). [And just think: They took out local columns that presented truths taught in God's Word to bring us these important updates in religion.] Born Claude Nowell, he changed his name twenty years ago to Summum Bonum Amon Ra (aka "Corky") (7D). Apparently, the blue beings have a background in the Latin language and Egyptian mythology.

Raised in the Mormon religion, Ra was reeducated by the blue beings who for some reason took an interest in him (it was a boring day in a galaxy far, far away?). He then decided to propagate this Summum philosophy, which does not keep membership rolls, collect offerings, or accept donations (7D). This religion should attract a number of people, if for no other reason than that people love to belong to something that requires no commitment of either time or money.

His "adherents meet in a pyramid-shaped temple in Salt Lake City" (7D), which is "made of anodized copper over steel with sides 40 feet wide at the base" and 26 feet high (8D). Visitors may stop by Thursday evenings to meditate or be taught philosophy (8D). The blue men prefer mummification to embalming, a process which begins at $63,000. Thus far, 147 people have prepaid, but none of them has died (8D). Several thousand people have shown an interest in this way of life, which is interesting, since its origin lies with blue extraterrestrials. How often have we said, "When people reject the Truth, they will believe anything"?

What can we expect next--a religion founded by a chartreuse dog from Alpha-Centauri? Or will someone spill Vanilla Coke on a 1040 tax form, which will enable it to speak (while wet) with the wisdom of an oracle? Perhaps lightning will strike a barber shop and turn all the loose hair on the floor into a floating hairpiece, which, when donned, makes the one wearing it the smartest person in the world. Or why not expect that a man who underwent an experimental radiation treatment was somehow genetically altered and can now find secret revelations from God on the backs of Wheaties boxes?

Is there a set of core beliefs with the blue man religion? Oddly enough, there is something that just might attract some folks. Corky spends a great deal of his time making and marketing "sacramental wine" (8D). No wonder they do not have just one day a week for their religion; probably some of Ra's followers are very devout. But of course the emphasis on wine is not about getting drunk. No, no--far from it.

During the 77-day fermentation process, those who espouse Summum meditate for the wines so they will contain spiritual concepts (8D).

Say, what? Can one get drunk on spirituality? But there is more. They call this wine that has been meditated upon "liquid knowledge" and "nectar publications," which enhance seven types of meditation (8D). Incredible! And here we are studying the Word of God the old-fashioned way! We are stuck with using our minds and thinking, while they (allegedly) become wise through absorption! God's Word has been eaten as a scroll (Ezek. 3:3 ; Rev. 10:9), but how much easier is this? [Does one get spiritual cirrhosis of the liver? Some may not be mummified with this method of "learning," but they could well be "pickled."]

However, the drinking and meditating are not an end in themselves; rather they lead up to "Summum's paramount belief: the power of sexual ecstasy" (8D).

Summum's take is that copulation played a vital role in creation of the universe, and that all progression and evolution happens through sexual ecstasy (8D).

Hogwash! The creation of the universe was by the power of God: "By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, all the host of them by the breath of his mouth.... For He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast" (Ps. 33:6, 9). Furthermore, while it is true that reproduction was the mechanism God chose for the propagation of both man and animals after the creation, evolution (one kind changing into another) has never been, nor ever will be, proven.

Reading statements like these, coupled with Ra's practice of decorating his pyramid with "candleholders molded to look like sex organs" (8D), might give the reader the idea that the man has overindulged in porn.

But such is not true, Ra insists. His motives are totally pure; sexuality is not for mere enjoyment:

"It's there for meditation. But when you have that ecstasy, that's creation itself. We call it the state of becoming a god. It's not something you would do at a brothel or only for procreation" (8D).

Obviously, our ignorance of this Summum philosophy must be responsible for our failure to make sense out of statements like these. Sexual ecstasy is for creative purposes but not procreative purposes? But it's not something you would do at a brothel? If any of this gibberish begins to make sense, we will be forced to become suspicious of ourselves.

Frankly, we are disappointed in the blue men (from wherever they came). They are way behind some modern Americans when they merely combine fine wine with erotic meditations. Have they never heard of "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll"? Some of our enlightened New Age "space cadets" could probably give these guys a few pointers.

One wonders when earth will ever be visited by someone genuinely more advanced than we are. So far, the alleged beings who come here are interested in power, money, and sex. None of them ever seems to be cerebral in the slightest. They never seem to come here in order to improve our intellectual powers. When have they come to us with blueprints for a more efficient energy system? We can't even get a good game of chess out of them. No, these fugitives from television commercials traveled all the way here, according to Corky, to emphasize that which is sensual.

Thanks a lot, guys. We seldom have any of that kind of thinking on earth. People are so intellectual and spiritually minded that they almost forget to brush their teeth--if they can remember to eat. Appeals to the flesh are so scarce (you can tell by how little Britney Spears dresses so modestly) that we really need to be reminded that we possess five senses.

"It's just a philosophy that says you need to go out there, and just be in life," Ra said (8D). All things considered, this philosophy sounds like just another carpe diem wannabe. Never mind thinking about God and the sins we commit, or the cost of redemption. Forget such matters such as self control and self-discipline. If it feels good, do it.

Just be in life? Summum sounds more like a guarantee of winding up in Alcoholics Anonymous. Meditate upon ecstasy? Is that not a formula for obtaining gonorrhea, AIDS, syphillis, herpes, or some other STD? People continue to refuse to "receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved"; truly, they will be condemned "who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness" (2 Thess. 2:10, 12).