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Golden rules for quality sex that you must learn

There’s no reason why you should have to settle for mediocre, could-be-better sex when you could be having a fantastic time every time you hit the sheets with your partner. Whether it’s your first time with a new boyfriend or a thrilling one-night stand or make-up lovemaking after a bad fight, having quality nooky is no biggie if you follow our golden rules for fabulous sex in every situation.

First-time sexContrary to what the uninitiated may believe, first-time sex is not always a momentous occasion heralded by shooting stars and drum rolls! More likely it’s going to be about shooting pains, uncertainty and awkwardness made worse by unrealistic, grandiose expectations. In fact, sex experts say that nothing kills the mood more than stress and false ideas of what you should expect during the first time. According to Dr. Avani Tiwari, Senior consultant, Metro Multispeciality Hospital, Noida, the best way to ensure that first time sex is a pleasurable experience is to chill and enjoy the moment and not let apprehension and anxiety overtake you. "Take it slow and easy, don't rush or force yourself. And do not use drugs or get drunk to conquer anxiety. You want to have some rocking action, not pass out in a stupor! And most importantly, get knowledge about intercourse. There's nothing more off-putting then a clueless partner!" So start your Sex 101 Tutorial right away. There's tons of information on the internet and books to help you along. More tips: He is as unfamiliar with your body as you are with his, so ask for what you want, show him how to pleasure you , enjoy every feeling and caress deeply and reciprocate by giving him the pleasure he deserves.

In the mood for adventurePlain vanilla sex is like comfort food. Good stuff that fulfills your cravings but still leaves you wanting for more interesting options. "My husband is good in bed but doesn't wanted to experiment beyond doggy style whereas I would love to try stuff like role play and blindfolds! In fact, the last time, I wanted him to try a new position he threw his back! It has been even more difficult to get him to try anything new ever since then," says Sreemoyi Sen, 29, journalist. All we have to say to this is curb your enthusiasm! While experimentation and variety is the key to a healthy and exciting sex life, you do have to ensure that your partner is on the same page as you are. Forcing him to try something that he is uncomfortable with or is risky, is plain unfair. According to Dr Rajesh Goyal, Consultant Psychiatrist, Sir Gangaram Hospital, "If you want your partner to try something new and untried then you first need to gauge whether your partner is ready for some adventure or not. If he is seems averse to the idea, try to make him comfortable with the idea by discussing it thoroughly with him. If you spring a surprise, things, may not go as planned so it is best to take him into confidence. Besides being stressful, you have to realise that sexual injuries like penile fractures are not uncommon." FYI A 2014 study published in the Journal of Urology says that woman-on-top positions are the most risky for men and can lead to penile fractures.

Rekindling your relationshipIt quite common for long-tern relationships to settle into a sort of sexual rut where there is low-frequency of lovemaking and little variety. However, the good news is that it's super-easy to re-spark your love duo if you put your mind to it. And we mean that literally. As sexologists are so fond of saying, "the most powerful sex organ is your brain and it can be schooled and trained back to a sexual state. "Adding to your sexual routine can spice it up considerably. Try multiple sexual positions to break the monotony, try some role play, opt for sensory deprivation...the options are endless,” says Mumbai-based eminent sexologist Dr Raj Brahmbhatt. They really are! Play out your most outrageous sexual fantasies, go off on a dirty weekend out of the city where your only agenda is sex, pretend that you are on a first date and can't wait to get your hands on each other, play adult games like strip poker, sext each other..."Love and sex never die, they only take a back-seat to every worries. Forget your differences and turn your that energy to sex and make every possible effort to get back the spark," says Dr Goyal.

One-night standThe very thought of a one-night stand conjures up images of a meeting a sexy stranger in a bar, hitting it off instantly and then having the best sex of your life in a strange hotel room! The thrill of a one-night stand is all about the lack of commitment. the sheer joy of having sex for the sake of sex without having to worry about whether he's the marrying kind or if he's really into you or if he leaves the toilet seat up. It's about not caring about any of those mundane pleasures and succumbing to the carnal without guilt. However, one-night stands can also lead to a lot of anxiety which is a mood-killer. "I had a one-night stand with one of my out-station colleagues when we met at a conference. While he seemed to be pretty thrilled with the sex, I could have had better since most of the time I was so tense about whether he would spill the beans about the encounter to the rest of the team! Thankfully, he didn't but I reliased that a one-night-stand should only be had with someone you truly have no chance of meeting again!" says Brinda Singh, 35, project director.According to Dr Avani, "No commitment sex, one night stands and friends with benefits are very tricky issues. Be sure you and your partner are clear about the situation. Many people have trust issues in these situations. Also, it may not be your best experience emotionally, as it focuses only on the physical aspect of sex."Tip: Do not forget contraception, you don't want an unwanted pregnancy or worse an STD. As Dr Avani says, Carry your own condoms, don't rely on your partner. Safe is good."