"Immediately after that show, CBS' top lawyer was contacted by the top lawyer from another company to say that the character Stephen Colbert is their intellectual property," the real Colbert said. "So, it is with a heavy heart, that I announce that — thanks to corporate lawyers — the character of Stephen Colbert, host of 'The Colbert Report,' will never be seen again."

Instead, the late-night personality brought in "Stephen Colbert's identical twin cousin," Stephen Colbert on Wednesday. That guy seems to love America just as much, and can arch an eyebrow with the best of them. He also said the "Colbert Report" host was gay — not that there's anything wrong with that.

Additionally, since actual human Stephen Colbert can also no longer legally do famous Comedy Central-era segment "The Word," the "Late Show" host introduced the world to the "Werd." It was equally great.