Don't you know Santa loves you?

December 17, 2008

Come 'ere CityKat. I'm gonna put you over my knee.

And wipe that silly grin off your face, young lady.

You're not gonna enjoy this at all.

It has come to my attention that you have been dissing the institution of Christmas and, what's worse, the man without whom Christmas would mean nothing. The one in whom we place our faith and love and who loves us back, even when our faith fails, and our love is led astray by worldy distractions.

Did he not cross oceans and continents for you when you were but a small, tousle-headed mite, eyes full of sleep, and warm heart full of hope and dreams and the giddy, head spinning rush of knowing, just knowing that he was on his way. That even if, in the course of a year, you might not have been quite so nice as discretion would call for, because the siren song of naughtiness whispers to us all with such sweet, intoxicating notes at times, that even then, having made his list and checked it twice, you knew, you just knew that Santa would understand. And forgive.

For that is Santa's nature. He loves and he forgives and in doing so he teaches us all, old as well as young and smokin' hot, that our cause is never hopeless, our fondest wishes never impossible, and our deepest fears, of abandonment, of retribution, mere wisps and fragments to be blown unto the furthest, far away corners of the world by just a slight jingle of sleigh bells and a hint of 'Ho ho ho!' upon the wind.

So do not turn away from him, CityKat. Do not turn away from redemption and love and the chorus of joy that a fat man in a red suit, boots and beard can and will bring into the world in just eight sleeps' time. That joy is yours to take pleasure in too. It is not just for the littlest amongst us.

Santa loves you, Katherine. He loves us all, even as we grow up and turn away and leave his love behind. Because only through love can Santa remain with us, and remain with us he does.

Forever.

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Recent comments

Dr Yobbo

December 18, 2008

06:22 AM

Jesus Christ...

Wonder if CK's bitter, Grinchly spray on the subject reflects her never gotten over discovering as a wee tousle-haired mite that Santa doesn't actually exi... erm, that evil degenerate forces opposed to Santa and Christmas and good things in general have been spreading rank and groundless disinformation about his entirely theoretical lack of existence as part of a nefarious worldwide psy-ops campaign aimed at six-to-eight year olds.

Christmas: Toys, presents and happiness for children everywhere. Gratuitous excuse for a piss-up for the rest of us, as well as a justification for claiming that 147 piece Bathurst-scale-model Scalextric set under the tree is actually for the young lad. What's not to like?

Girl Clumsy

December 18, 2008

06:35 AM

Is it possible you've been hitting the eggnog already, JB?

CityKat

December 18, 2008

06:57 AM

here i am, eating breakfast and logging on for my dose of blunty and what happens?

i get all giddy over the fact that my name and your knee share the same sentence.

heart starts to pound and i click through...

and what do i get?

a big fat, festive spanking.

ding dong merrily on high!

CK.

(shall be back later once i've digested my special k and the inevitable backlash)

You've succeeded in making Santa sound quite creepy. Just hope he doesn't deliver one of those ventriloquist dolls that comes to life in the dead of night and arms itself with kitchen utensils.

Plus I've got this image in my head thats going to be there the rest of the day of a stern looking JB with a frightened Kitty Kat on his knee and she's dressed in an elf costume...

Greybeard

December 18, 2008

08:15 AM

I'm with CityKat on this one. Christmas - the worst time of the year. The compulsory gathering of the clan for the usual snide remarks, dirty digs & racist jokes (don't say anything - you'll upset Mum & Dad). And the presents! How many of these useless objects in the zillions of catalogs are actually designed solely to be GIFTS? They have no real purpose, except to be wrapped, opened & either tossed out or stuffed in a cupboard for years. And waste money.

Xmas morning at home with the kids was magic, the rest of the day pure hell. And as for that fat old B in red, you can add him to the list of lies we (or some of us) tell our kids - presumably so they can feel properly let down & cynical when they get older. Bah! Humbug!

Also I am SO SICK of being told how much I look like 'him'. For your information kid, I am NOT jolly, I eat reindeer and the sack is for your mother's jewelery. Have to go now & wrap the 'kids' presents & bring in the tree.

Damian

December 18, 2008

08:29 AM

I'm still too spooked by Orin's description of a Japanese Santa the other day to offer any balanced views on the gentleman in question. The Futurama version comes to mind pretty readily too.

kc_kitten

December 18, 2008

08:33 AM

JB... Methinks you may have spent a little too much time investigating the perfect pool beer.
Slow week for the blog?

Chaz

December 18, 2008

08:59 AM

BAH HUMBUG!

tis the season for evictions an' all that.

I'm with you on this one CK
(Thought to be honest the choice between CK and JB isn't exactly hard)

Phildo

December 18, 2008

09:00 AM

From me and all my fellow elves, I'd like to holler a great big "Bah Humbug!" in CityKat's direction. Oh wait... I've been doing that all week. It's still funny and now, thanks to this episode of Blunty, it just got even funnier.

Dr Yobbo

December 18, 2008

09:04 AM

"Plus I've got this image in my head thats going to be there the rest of the day of a stern looking JB with a frightened CityKat on his knee and she's dressed in an elf costume..."

No matter where you are in the world, no matter what timezone, even if it's late afternoon... it's definitely far too early in the morning for that mental image.

mckinneytexas

December 18, 2008

09:11 AM

We've had a lot of great Christmases and some that had their low points. For the most part, Christmas lives up to its billing, depending on who participates. If you don't like your friends or family, you probably won't like hanging out with them.

But JB's point is rock solid: kids who, in the early years, take Santa to be as real as the milk they drink with meals get to experience a sense of magical wonderment, a small part of which stays with a person long after the suspicion that mom and dad are Santa morphs into knowledge. Those kids grow into parents and pass along a tradition that does much good and no harm.

Christmas and Santa are obviously a big deal at Casa Birmingham and good for them. My kids are adults, but they still like coming downstairs to see what's in their stockings and what mom and dad put under the tree. I'm with Birmo on this one.

Timbook2

December 18, 2008

09:14 AM

Um, excuse me, not that I enjoy disagreeing with a blonde bombshell like Ms. Kat, but...why would she be trashing Santa in the first place? Ms. Kat writes about romance, sex, bedroom politics, correct? What the devil does that have to do with Santa?

Did I miss something, did Santa and his Missus do a nude photo shoot for a men's mag or something? Did they write a tell-all book about their secret sex lives? All I have is questions here!

Shame on you, Ms. Kat! Santa is good, but you're being very naughty. No iPod Touch for you on Christmas Morning! Bad girl, bad!

IN

December 18, 2008

09:14 AM

Well, no presents for this bunch of grinches. Oh there'll tears come Christmas morn there will.

stumpy

December 18, 2008

09:25 AM

If you had rellies like mine, you wouldn't be looking forward to xmas either.
Happy Humbug anyway.

Desk Jockey

December 18, 2008

09:27 AM

JB JB JB...are you serious, or is your tongue planted so firmly in your cheek that your kids are even now running in fear from your lopsided face? But given that you are a professional scribe, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. So, if you're gonna get all Dear Virginia on us, then consider...

Yep, Santa can represent much of what we as humans pine for - let's face it, we all warm to some kindness and hope, even if the hardest of us seek it only in ourselves. But we do live in a seriously stuffed-up world. And Santa shares some of that stuffedness. What Santa does represent for many is "gimmee gimmee gimmee gifts". "Here's my wishlist - check it twice, don't worry if I've been naughty or nice."

CK has a very valid point missed by many - Christmas can be a real shit for those on their own. Just watch the Coles or Woolies ads on the teev - not many single or lonely people struggling through those grocery fests.

Some of us might believe that the goodness and hope inherent in the Santa myth has a more solid, if divine, origin. Dare I raise God questions at this time of the year? Christian faith doesn't close its eyes and pretend that the world can be a wonderful place if only we believed harder (fairly insulting to the faithful millions who suffer through no fault of their own). But it does look to a real origin of all things good, a real way of accessing it, and a time when that good will be apparent to all. Any day now...any day...

Luke

December 18, 2008

09:34 AM

Well I enjoyed this blog. There is usually something good about one blogger's/opinion writters reply to another. On any topic it appears.

I for one think that whole baby Jesus thing should just push over for Santa full stop.

Gilly

December 18, 2008

09:43 AM

Christmas is the best time of year!!!

When else can you blackmail your corporate boss with video of him dancing on the boardroom table with the 2 new interns half naked with raindeer antlers on his head blind drunk singing Britney Spears new song Womanizer?

Hmm.. I wonder what my xmas bonus will look like this year....

HHAHHAHAHh(evilgrinchlaugh)hHhahahHAHHA

CK you rock!

spankee

December 18, 2008

09:48 AM

huhuhuhuh.
CK got spanked.

"and what do i get?

a big fat, festive spanking.

ding dong merrily on high!"

brian

December 18, 2008

10:02 AM

Santa. Ohh . . .yes in deeedy. Look I admit I was wrong thinking he was purely a paper cutout for robber barons. Ok, sure . . .it was simply a knee jerk reaction to him being portrayed as a red-suited communist handing out gifts based on lists compiled by a secretive intelligence appparatus. And yes . . .it was a step to far speculating just how he was clearing borders with animals not going through proper quarantine checks.

But I will not absolutely backdown from my assertion that there's something weird about guys who in Summer do not perspire in suits.

I still think someone should look into the allegation of where all the Zombies go after Halloween - I believe there is a causal link. Halloween finishes, guys in red suits start popping up. The general population's IQ declines, "the Silly Season' kicks in, bad behaviour abounds - Corey look alikes start to multiply. ie guys who wear sunglasses and cover their heads in hoods. Hint, hint. Night stalker behaviour.

Dark times. Dark times. On a positive note. You can buy AR 15 rifles with chainsaw attachements. Just the thing to take care of mutant Christmas trees which fight back, or red suited prowlers on Xmas Eve.

correction

December 18, 2008

10:43 AM

Just a bit of a correction here.... The institution of christmas is based on Jesus (Christ)& his birth (yes, I do realise the timing and some traditions began as a way of including pagan festivals), not santa. Although, Santa is pretty awesome.

Gotta love Christmas!

Crashguy

December 18, 2008

10:45 AM

Anyone that doesn't like Santa is a Communist.

Now go forth from your computer screens and be good little consumers

Buy, buy, buy........

Crashguy out.

BigBadAl

December 18, 2008

10:51 AM

BAH HUMBUG!

Therbs

December 18, 2008

10:53 AM

Will all you sad sacks stop dissin' Santa. He be cool, with the presents 'n all. He's a hard working guy who needs a beer to take the edge off his hectic distribution schedule. Give him a break and give him a beer.

Marwood

December 18, 2008

10:58 AM

When first introduced to Santa at the tender age of three, my immediate reaction was to scream my lungs out. Nothing that has happened in my life since has done anything to convince me that this reaction was in any way unwarranted.

A creepy old man with suspicious taste in clothing who bribes children with presents to sit on his lap, and breaks into people's houses in the dead of night to 'leave them gifts'? Sounds decidedly suss to me.

And what ever happened to the naughty list? Children who are good get presents, and children who are bad get, depending on which tradition you follow, a lump of coal, a bag of bones or, in some parts of Europe, beaten the snot out of and/or carried off in a bag by Santa's less-jolly-looking companion. Given the amount of avarice, guilt-tripping and ill will that goes on around the holiday, we could do with a good dose of old Krampus.

You can all stick your Santa and your artificial snowflakes. I'm not even a Christian, and it's entirely the wrong time of year to celebrate Yule. However since my family are intent on the idea, I'll enjoy spending the day with them, try to avoid all the wank going on around me as best I can, and welcome the fact that we're drawing ever-closer to the part of the year where the temperature starts to drop to a tolerable level.

Stu

December 18, 2008

11:11 AM

So what's all this then about Santa not being real?
You're kidding, right? I mean, who else puts out the presents? The freakin' Tooth Fairy?
Sheesh!

---

JB: Dont listen to 'em, Stu. They're just bitter n twisted cos they made the naughty list once too often.

Chaz

December 18, 2008

11:54 AM

BBA you're a bit late aren't you?

HAVOCK

December 18, 2008

11:59 AM

why is it that BLONDS always want to tear shit down, now, for mine, if she’s not getting what she be wanting , try looking elsewhere, but lets leave SANTA alone and the kiddies for that matter, sheez.

And as for the spanking...well I might just forgive if I get to do the spanking. Actually NO, the missus would kill my arse.

I reckon some of that extra moisture ya got up there JB has seeped in and fried some of CK's circuits. Talk about a GRINCH.

Speaking of WITCHES, hey was she in Melbourne two nights ago, I had some Chrissie lights VANDALISED, by an anti Christmas type person. just asking,

" Bring her about lads' Fire as yar guns Bear"

sensitive

December 18, 2008

01:15 PM

Crashguy; If the bloke's in a big red suit he's either Sandy or the president of the local communist party. One of the kids just asked if the big red fat fool has a blue card, if not, why not, and why is he so interested in sneaking into little kids rooms at night. CK might be onto something here, keep an eye on this bloke.

Demaan

December 18, 2008

01:17 PM

How about you enjoy and good opportunity to spend time with well, ones you love or love not... As for spanking Kath i am putting my hand up...

why argue of what could or might be. Besides you might be dead tomorrow and than what.

THE END

brian

December 18, 2008

02:14 PM

So . . .Havock got his Chrissie lights vandalised? Man, you're on Zed's list all right. Take down the security precautions first. Creep in, knowing everyone is going to be ignoring suspicious noises . . .and WHAM. Scratch one more warrior against the zombie menace.

Tool up man! Tool up!

Speaking further on the nature of lights. I suspect its all a plot to increase CO2 levels through heightened power use. Bringing the zombieclypse one step closer.

Man o man. I can walk the streets at night at the moment and read books outside someones front fence there's so much light. Ruins your night vision etc

Notice Santa is short on all the traditional christion gear . . .Holy Water, crucifix, no salt in the tradition at all let alone incense.

It just keeps adding up.

As for the Elves? Orcs in leotards.

brian

Catty

December 18, 2008

03:15 PM

The comment from Wodensvold in CK's thread was correct, except that Yashua was actually born on September 11th.

The tinselled tree is a pagan ritual worshiping the sun god. The feasting is a throwback to the solstice, and the giving of gifts is a bastardised version of pagan sacrifice.

My Christian self embraces the Holy remembrance of Yashua's birth in September. And as there is now NO religious significance to December 25th, I've chosen to go with gratuitous greed. Bugger the whole "it's better to give" coogee! I want! Gimme gimme gimme!

End of year parties? I'm going to ALL of them. Presents? Only for the people I think deserve them (why the hell should I buy stuff for people I don't give a stuff about?) Feasting? Until I puke. I've even written a wishlist, and told the boss to buy me everything on the list, on pain of pain. No appliances, no hankies, no soap - it's all jewelry, chocolates and shoes. Lots of shoes. And for the first time in years, I'm having as much fun as, well, a kid at Christmas.

Embracing the crass commercialism of the season with both arms has been an experience I highly recommend. I sure as hell don't miss the stress of making everybody else happy - they're too busy stressing about whether they're doing everything right to notice anyway!

Go home, Santa. I don't need you this year.

paddy

December 18, 2008

03:18 PM

Santa is way cool. He seems to be a little more uptight than he used to be though - my nephews seem to be missing out on the spudguns, Luger cap pistols and pocket knives that the old bloke used to dispense with such generosity in the seventies.

BigBadAl

December 18, 2008

04:10 PM

Chaz; Had a bit of a sleep in this morning. Woke about 9, wondered down for some breakfast on the beach.

Watched the World go by, on their way to work so they can afford to pay that big fat bastard in red to deliver some decent presents; not underwear and sox... again.

And, and...

What about the Elves. Won't someone think of the Elves! I'll bet they are on minimum wage. If the are paid at all. Poor little buggers.

And what does the fat one do after Christmas Day? Probably gallivanting around the world in his corporate sleigh living the life of Reilly.

Bah! Humbug! I say. Bah! Humbug!

---

JB: Al, is it possible that you are Santa, and yr just trying to throw us off the trail?

Dalliance

December 18, 2008

04:37 PM

JB, you've mortally wounded her; sob sob.

> CK

> (shall be back later once i've digested
> my special k and the inevitable
> backlash)

> December 18 6:57am

--------------

Either that or it wasn't "special k".

Perhaps CK's "special k" means something else.

The mind boggles (:

--------------

So, JB, what's the red suited man to bring you - if not a young girl for your knee?

Rob Hosking

December 18, 2008

04:43 PM

There is no Santa.

Those bastards lied to me.

Same with the tooth fairy.

Bullshitted me about that God bloke too.

Abe

December 18, 2008

05:56 PM

When I read this entry this morning I thought you'd set us up for a whole WORLD of grief from the Godbotherers, JB.

Thank goodness they know to stay away from these parts.

Dr Yobbo

December 18, 2008

06:19 PM

Abe I think there's a reason it's ASIO who advertise on these pages rather than Hillsong - the bashers of matters biblical(and aficionados thereof) aren't much enamoured with the sentiments expressed within. And whether CK chooses to supplement her breakfast with horse tranquilizers (thanks v. much Placebo) is entirely up to her, but if the case, seems very and suitably rock 'n' roll.

@ Rob Hosking: it's OK mate. You have been lied to, as have we all, but instead seek solace in the reassuring minutiae of existence, that which can be depended upon. Speights Distinction is on special this week, I think it was at Countdown but don't quote me. Summit's still overpriced to hell though.

Tech

December 18, 2008

08:11 PM

On Kat's side here JB. Xmas SUCKS MONKEY BALLS.
Usual family bitch feast at my end. Over commercialized marketing shove it down the kiddies gullets month. HATES IT I tells ya.

CityKat

December 18, 2008

10:34 PM

Well I'm back.

Took a while but I'm here. And interested at the responses dished out I must say.

My initial reaction was to file a retort blog right back at you JB.

But that just wouldn't be cricket.

And that's what Christmas is all about... right?

So instead - I challenge you to a sing off at tomorrow night's Christmas karaoke party.

You bring the Sing, I'll bring the star.

And we'll nut this shite out on the d'floor.

Ho Ho How about that?

virtual

December 19, 2008

06:30 AM

uh oh, i smell a kat
a karaoke kat in killer heels
birmingham doin' the stomp
(late 60's revival dance)
THAT i gotta see
sneaky vid time i reckon, like in the age old tradition of candid microphone/camera ;)
can't BT at least afford some decent effing music for the santa bash ??

BAH
v

HAVOCK

December 19, 2008

06:53 AM

OMFG...JB on the dance floor, that so has to be You Tubed its not funnt. In defence of our great genious..MR B, CK, I think ya have an unfair advantage, youth and looks and all that, can't..um..don't want to imagine JB doing the bump and grind, dirty dancing bit, eeewwww. But shit what a laugh.

On the big day the house is groaning with a seriously mentally disturbed (& usually off meds) Aunt, several shuffling mumified relos from the fossil farm, boorish uncles, vapid trophy aunts & their slack-jawed moronic offspring & the usual ongoing sibling war.

After a traditional Hot Roast Lunch with the mercury outside on the shady verandah on the ugly side of 35 degrees, all males stand from the table & waddle off to 'rest up a bit.' While the womenfolk return to the steaming kitchen to wash the mountain of crockery & serving ware.

3 more days of unpleasantness, load car drive home. Each time in the car - Kids & Dad say "Lets stay home next time," Mum says "No it's important to maintain traditions. You'll thank me when your older."

These days I won't drive nowhere. We walk to swim @ the beach. The Bobette & SWMBO go to church. We have a nice seafood & salad lunch & naps, orphaned friends welcome. Usually no family other than SWMBO, The Bobette & me.

And that's the way I like it.

HAVOCK

December 19, 2008

11:12 AM

reading NBOBs it suddenly dawned on me, I suspect the best Chrisssy we have had, was just the HAVOCK tribe and in Thailand.

No driving for three hours, no driving late christmas day or GOD DAM early boxing day for another three hours, because one set live in Woop woop west and the other in Woop woop east. I do not miss driving, packing up the mess early to get ready for lunch and all the rest that comes with it. EXCEPT..for the GROG of course.

OH and I have just had bottle number 6 i think ( scotch is my bet), delivered all wraped up from a contractor, AND I do not drink the shit...bloody hell, whhat happened to slabs....

Greybeard

December 19, 2008

12:03 PM

NWBob, You are a poet man. And a hero. You have summed up the Great Australian Christmas Experience for so many of us. I even forgive you for the "wizened finger" comment - although I have not forgotten. And Maj Havock sir, I know I haven't always respected you in the past like I oughta, but I am a MOST enthusiastic scotch drinker, should you need a good home for your unwanted bottles. Season of goodwill right?

HAVOCK

December 19, 2008

12:43 PM

GB..YES..

MATE!, alls good in rough and tumble here, HOWEVER..I must respectfully decline your most gracious offer to alleviate me of this burden of excessive deposited alcohol. CO's. I Give them away as presents later on in the year, assuming the cook has not scoffed them of course..lol...BE GOOD.

Chaz

December 19, 2008

03:14 PM

havock i'll look forward to my present then shall I?

nice single malt will go down a treat!

NowhereBob

December 19, 2008

03:19 PM

H, you may remember from other ramblings that I was a camera op for News for a while.
This included responding to too many highway tragedies.
The rest of the year I'll take my chances, but Cristmass day. Not a chance.
Also driving duties impinges on inapropriately early drinking.

Greybeard, sir, with the gretest respect tell me it ain't wizened?

HAVOCK

December 19, 2008

06:29 PM

NBOB, i take it you are not into tearing out through the SPIT half tanked then

BrianC

December 22, 2008

02:45 PM

Hmmmmm Kat

I'd put her over my knee. If you know what i mean.

...

I Mean you know sexualy... and by that i mean if my Girlfriend would let me... and by that i mean probably not at all.

Id probably just stand there a giggle nervously and say something like
"You're aaah gurl" and then laugh nervously looking for the comforting allure of a computer monitor, where girls dont talk back, and the only 3rd dimenstion they have is in the jiggle physics.

Not that anyone is reading this im a bit late to the party.

/joking (if you got that walk away from the computer now)
You both have points. Christmass is the best time of the year. Except when it isnt which is thanks to myer, and jb, and the economy everwhere... all the bloody time now.

Still i wouldnt trade the look on my lil sisters face when she opens up her pressys for anything. Well except for maybe my own ankle biters.

rob Hosking

December 23, 2008

06:08 AM

@ Dr Yobbo" Speights Distinction is on special this week'

CHEERS, Santa!!!

HAVOCK

December 23, 2008

06:57 AM

hey is our hover craft driving literary legend giving us another BLUNTY or do we wait till sometime in the new year....whats the scooooop JB

HAVOCK

December 23, 2008

07:39 AM

ooops. that would be the last little reference in the above i suppose...DAM!, Any wonder we get so little productivity done, bloody jurno's, getting paid hovercraft buying gazillions and they stop work early, when some of us are then left to carry the rest of the country.

HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS ALL.

H

silentwhisper

December 28, 2008

06:46 PM

Well---there MUST be a SANTA if those two- before and after images I just witnessed weren't a miracle all in itself!

Winks.

PS.I see our JS home is out for the count-longest count might I add in years.Hope we have more than crumbs left of our journals when all is back in order.

A good New Year to you, Birmo, as to others here and from JS.

GlenWriter

December 28, 2008

07:17 PM

Wipe that silly grimace off your faces.

You're gonna enjoy this.

It has come to my attention that you have been kissing the institution of Christmas goodbye.

unruley

December 29, 2008

12:01 PM

Christmas ain't overrated.

But New Year bloody well is.

I'm yet to find the perfect way to usher in a new 365-day cycle...

The closest I got was camping at the base of a mountain for 2000 in a back-to-nature attempt at hiding from the Y2K apocalypse.

...

Gee, that was another end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it event that didn't happen. Have now survived more apocalypses than Buffy, Dr Who and Captain Planet combined.

I think this year will be strip poker and Corona by the pool. Meh, could be worse.

Happy new year, JB.

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Babes in Business are Brisbane women that stand out in a crowd. Not only are they business owners, entrepreneurs, movers and shakers, they are wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters and daughters. They'll give working women throughout the city the best tips on striking the balance between work and home life.

Regarded as history’s best female surfer, Layne Beachley is a seven-time world champion. But her drive doesn’t stop at the water’s edge. She's had success with her Beachley Athletic and in 2006, Layne staged the richest event in women’s surfing. Recently retired, Layne has turned her focus to investing in Australia’s future by inspiring young women to realise their full potential with her Aim For The Stars Foundation.

Sam de Brito has spent more than a decade writing for TV, film and newspapers. In his first book, No Tattoos Before You’re Thirty, he offers advice to his unborn children. In his latest offerings, The Lost Boys and Building a Better Bloke, he takes the pulse of Aussie manhood. Now it’s your turn as he expounds on the business of being a bloke.

James Cameron has been designing menswear for the past decade. In this time he has witnessed more than his fair share of trends and fashions, most of which should never have involved men, but men and fashion should not be mutually exclusive. There are a few guidelines every man should know and follow and still hold on to their masculinity.

Have a computer or IT problem or issue? Then just Ask Chris Thomas! Chris Thomas founded Westnet in 1994, and today runs Technical Support for the mid-tier Internet Service Provider. Chris has helped Westnet win countless awards for customer service in the ISP space.

Clive Dorman is one of Australia’s most experienced travel journalists. Every week for 17 years his column Travellers’ Check dealt with travel consumer issues. His weekly column now returns online looking at travel intelligence: where the value is, what to do, using the collective information-gathering of you.