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Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/revbps/thereverend.com/archives/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 0May « 2004 « The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith

For the 432nd time, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith has lost in a sleeping contest with his cat. “I really thought I had him this time,” said a disappointed Smith, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “I’d been up for more than twenty-four hours yesterday,” said Smith, “so I figured I’d have the edge on ol’ Ringo who had already spent most of the day napping.” Despite Smith’s impressive performance of fifteen and half hours of marathon sleeping, Ringo easily managed to match Smith and then continued sleeping an extra two and a half hours. Smith was quick to vow for a rematch. “I can do this,” said Smith, determinedly. “I just need to train harder.”

Defying an age-old adage, Rev. Smith today made a bowl of chicken soup entirely out of chicken shit. “I’m not recommending you try it,” explained Smith, whose success comes after countless failed attempt over the past several years, “hell, it’s probably the worst tasting chicken soup ever made. But the fact is I have once again accomplished what they said could not be done.” Smith celebrated his victory by having some cake and eating it too.

The two axis countries of World War II that America and its allies fought so hard to defeat will soon have their own versions of Rev. Smith’s hit book The Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. German publisher Sanssouci (an imprint of Carl Hanser) will be printing a first run of 10,000 copies of the book to be released this Fall. The Japanese translation of the book will be published by Futami. A release date is not yet known for the Japanese book, but it is expected within the next 18 months.