10.30.2006

I have been feeling like such poo lately. I am sick .. AGAIN! I have been really down and depressed... not including stressed. I am just not taking care of myself. But, I don't know sometimes why it is so hard to comprehend that nothing is going to change unless I change. I want to eat healthy.. I do crave it - but I have noticed and so has my husband that I am self destructive. Why, would anyone be that way? Why am I that way? I have no idea... but I know I am. As soon as I start to lose weight - I start eating horribly and gain it all back (plus some). Once I start getting attention - I drop it and run. What am I so scared of? I am not doing anything bad... this is the best thing I could ever do for myself! Has anyone reading this ever felt this way? Anyone know where to start to conquer it?

Any suggestions or comments are appreciated. So, here I go again... starting over. The only reason I keep on trying is because I know it can be done - and I know that all the ladies out here in weight loss blogdom actually understand it.

So, here is my plan. I am going to wipe out all white stuff, no soda, no fast food, I am only going to eat when my stomach growls, I am going to mostly eat fresh food, and I am going to only eat small portions - about the size of my palm - at a time.

10.29.2006

Thanks a lot to those who were concerned. I am doing... okay. Just been doing nothing about getting in shape... haven't cared too much about anything. How do you get back on your feet after being knocked down a million times? The first 100 times you still have some strength.. drive to get back up... I am just so tired. I will try to start posting more regularly. Anything to help.

About Me

My Current Stats:

Lost: 40 lbs73 lbs To Go!Goal: 175

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My Methods, you ask?

I have tried every diet (almost) under the sun... Atkins, South Beach, Jenny Craig, Quick Weight Loss, Stewardess Diet, Prune Juice Diet, Weight Watchers, and finally - starvation! I can tell you none have worked for me!

So, recently I saw Paul McKenna on TLC - I Can Make You Thin - well I am giving it a try - what do I have to lose right?

I also exercise regularly - about 3-4 times a week. I go to the gym, see a personal trainer, and occasionally do P90X at home with my husband.