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Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

The phone does amplify it a bit, it's not quite that loud in reality but it doesn't sound great. Once it's warmed up and driving though you can barely hear the rattle at all from inside the cabin, so possibly I just need to turn the radio up.

Truth be told I have no idea what the noise is, other than it's no. 4 cylinder. It apparently started after the head gasket change so it does seem possible they disturbed the liner on one cylinder as you suggested on the previous page.

I tĥink the hon. Lord Sward is correct. As of this morning it has a newer battery in it which is currently low on charge and the car therefore won't start without a jump start. Without a jump, there is just a loud clattering noise which could be the starter straining to turn the engine against some sort of resistance. When started from cold it struggles to catch and takes several goes to stay running, after which it runs but still idles a little bit lumpily. When turning over, to me it sounds low on compression but I cannot be sure.

I went around it with a trolley jack and confirmed the rear wheels turn freely but both front calipers are binding a little. One rear tyre is on the limit and there are locking wheel nuts but no locking wheel nut key, Sigh.

The key is now in the possesion of my mechanic so he can see what the chances are of a year's ticket and sorting whatever is wrong with the engine but I'm not holding out much hope of it being economical for a garage to do given the car's low value and I have no time or inclination at present for stripping engines and whatnot myself.

Therefore, pre-empting the professional confirmation of all this, for £100 it can be yours right now. Some of that will go to worthy causes in the interests of good karma and positive vibes.

It does have good points - new cambelt/waterpump/tensioner and service just days before it was parked up, only 57k on the clock and two new front tyres, plus everything bar the aircon seems to work. The interior, whilst currently looking and smelling a bit grubby, would probably come up alright with a bit of elbow grease and it does actually run and drive although as it's sans MOT and has sticky brakes and a noisy engine, I'd recommend it is not driven far under its own steam.

It's in Barnstaple, North Devon, PM me for my mobile number if required. Queue here to get your very own momento of Rover's finest last hour.

Wonder if they have the cam pulleys on the wrong positions - easily done on a k16

phil_lihp likes this

One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

Quote

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

Yes. Take the upper belt cover off and you'll need to remove both cam pulley bolts. Obvs ensure the pulleys don't fall off. Both inlet & exhaust pulleys are the same but are keyed to sit in a different positions. Both positions are marked in and ex. Make sure the rear one is 'in' and the front one is set on 'ex'.

Indeed, well my mechanic can check that when he pulls it inside his workshop as he has the key now. It does seem logical although I would hope the garage who did the work would check for that sort of thing!

No news is good news, right? I had a brief chat with my mechanic today while I booked another car in for MOT with him, alas the rattly 45 has not yet been seen to as he's been too busy so far. No rush of course, I told him it's a low priority but I am quite keen to find out what's causing that horrible rattle and whether or not its next trip is 3 miles to the MOT station or half a mile to the scrapyard!

News at last, I spoke to my mechanic today, he's had a good look over it and said something quite unusual for him; he's advised me to bin it. The camshaft is damaged, it needs a coil pack, there's brown sludge in the engine from the HGF which suggests it hasn't been fixed very well and it's either leaking or drinking coolant as despite me filling it up a couple of weeks ago, it had very little left in it by times he got to it. All in all, it's not worth it, the engine's borked.

One last call for it to go as one item to any interested party - it runs and drives but it's down on power, the engine sounds awful and I've no idea how long it would keep going. Front calipers are sticking and it's not been on the road since January last year. £50 takes it as one, bodywork looks pretty tidy in the main and a replacement engine would probably give it a new lease of life if you had a spare knocking about and the inclination to do the work.

If it doesn't go as-is I'll pull a few bits off and scrap it, it's a shame really but it really isn't worth me doing anything with it. I will be measuring up to see if its drivers seat will fit in my van, would be much more comfy!

Bad news man. If it does go for scrap. Can I have the mats? They'll actually be going to the earlier Red 216 that was offered up here recently as Gadgetgricey only lives down the road from me. Floor mats are peetty much the same (I think)

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Feel for you man but I reckon you are doing the right thing here, it sounds quite a lot like something is up with a piston or rod. Same issue with my engine unfortunately which means it's headed for the shredder (car staying though)

Good on you for having a go, you're not shy about pulling cars from long-time resting places!