When I saw this sign at our friends’ house, I thought it was the perfect sign for the times. Let’s face it, 2009 has been a lousy year for so many, and 2010 seems to be shaping up as more of the same. I had no idea that Keep Calm and Carry On was designed in 1939 by the British government’s Ministry of Information at the beginning of WW II.

“Keep Calm and Carry On” has since become part of public domain and can be found in various incarnations (posters, mugs, t-shirts) on Amazon and etsy. Our friends’ copy featured light blue printing on a black board which was propped on their mantle. There’s even a parody urging people to “Panic and Run Away.”

The original poster was intended as a “last case scenario” to be used only should the Nazis succeed in invading Great Britain, in order to stiffen resolve.” according to my uber source for all information – Wikipedia.

Now even Wikipedia’s founder, Jimmy Wales, is grubbing for donations which doesn’t bode well. In my neck of the woods, there’s talk of cutting another 82 teachers and increasing class sizes yet again. Here I am half-way through my masters program, and they’re considering freezing column increases, which would put the kabbash on that pay increase I’m working toward. None of it’s good. I’m afraid after seeing The Road and Rec in the same day, a last case scenario seems closer than I’d like to think. But in the meantime – Keep Calm and Carry On.

Not to be confused with Korn’s 1999 song and video “Freak on a Leash.” No, this “freak on a leash” is someone you know, but would prefer not to know in public, due to their penchant for saying or doing bizarre things. These people have the uncanny ability to put both feet in their mouth – and still keep talking! A leash often isn’t enough to restrain them, and it’s hopeless to try and retrain them. Worse case scenario – whip out the old Hannibal Lecter mask to silence them. Be prepared though to mop up puddles of drool.

FOO is an acronym for Family of Origin. I first encountered it on MSN’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) Forum. As a teacher, I thought I had the corner on acronyms, but there was an entire list I needed to learn just to decipher posts by members. Let’s face it. A lot of the baggage we carry through life was packed during our formative years. Example of usage: “I think the reason I was attracted to this abusive sh*% of a man is because of FOO issues (as in my father was also an abusive sh*%!)

FOO is not to be confused with The Foo Fighters, an offshoot of the band Nirvana with Dave Grohl as the front man. It is possible though, if your family get-togethers include biting sarcasm, drunken tirades, or knockdown brawls, that your family could indeed be FOO Fighters.

You can find your “googleganger” by googling your own name to see what all of the other “yous” are up to. If your name is common, you can find a virtual army of “yous,” many whom are infinitely more accomplished than you could ever hope to be! The term comes from combining “Google” with the German expression, “Doppelganger.”

My son Ian took my husband aside one day and confided, “I’m worried about Mom spending so much time on the computer. I just noticed she was googling herself!” I assured him it was for research purposes only, and I think he believed me!

When I googled myself, I was shocked to see another serious writer shared my name. She’d already marked her territory in Blogdom with MY name. In her bio, it says Jan is a “motivational speaker and a clinical hypnotherapist.” Hello? That’s the job description for a teacher! It went on to say she lives by her credo, “We all live with grief, dissapointments, and some really bad fish, yet not a shread of evidence exists that life is serious.” And she lives in California. Cue “Twilight Zone” music.

One of my other googlegangers works at Southwest Airlines in Public Relations and has something called an “Executive Profile,” whereas I have a paycheck stub. Another “me” is an attorney in Utah. Who would have known I’d be so successful? Do you know who your “googlegangers” are? Or could you be SO unique, you really are the one and only?

Accused of being a stalker? Put that alias to rest by showing the common courtesy of calling, or prestalking, the “stalkee” ahead of time to let them know you’ll be in their area. That way if they dread bumping into you, they’ve been forwarned and can get out of Dodge. But if they choose to stay, well, they must really WANT to see you.

When two people exchange deep, meaningful glances while mentally undressing each other. Best exemplified by the smoldering eye action on CSI Las Vegas between Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle. If this is only one-sided, it not “having eye sex,” it’s simply leering. Note: Not to be confused with “I sex,” which is sex with a narcissist.