Forget “if”
The if is a meaningful source
Of illusions and mind games
Of “but” and “could be”

Of have nots
the cause and creation
Of desires
Bound by the norms
Barricaded
within
The metal encasement
Of an attire made out of
“self”
The very self
that stands between
Words
And
Actions
Holding back
A flood gate
of semi spoken phrases
Of a story “never told”
Of a wish
Lost in a whisper
That died
at the lips of yearning
Like a bird
Dismantling it’s nest
One straw at a time
Like a hand
That grows old
And the creases on the palm
vanish
One at a time
Slow and deliberate
The time moves
Yet everything halts
The same day is lived
Again
And again
Till it becomes
A procedure
Tailored to meet
Requirements
Arrangements
Bizzare and elaborate
Schemes
Weaved by life
The social presentation
A display
Crafted to
Mutilate
Hope
To blank out
To wipe out all but
The disconnect

midnight
dead silence
a blob that flutters against the ribcage
faster
stronger
ahead of me
ahead of time
never quitting
just achingly alive
while the rest
begs to differ
dry and parched
yet drowning
too tired to surface
too feeble to begin
a journey
within
into the wilderness
of my existence
incoherently ticking
like a clock that skips time
skip
skip
end