Advice For Singles Who Need A Pick-Me-Up

I had a lot of fun during the years I was single. I lived in Branford, Conn., close to the beach and had easy travel access to Manhattan and Long Island, Philadelphia historical sites and Vermont skiing. Sunday brunch and a stroll in Central park, going boating on the Connecticut River or a having a late night dinner after seeing the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra at Carnegie Hall are some of my favorite memories of being on my own and sharing my time with friends and dates.

But there were always the times when I was alone. Some of these days on my own weren’t any big issue, they were more a sort of necessity for regrouping. But often my days spent by myself were overwhelmingly lonely. I didn’t want to make dinner for myself, I wanted a table full of noisy, hungry children. I would have preferred to lovingly pick my future husband’s socks and underwear off the floor instead of folding my own boring basket of laundry. I was 35 years-old at the time and beginning to feel like I would always be alone.

It was depressing.

However, it was in these quiet times I remember receiving distinct consolations from God — almost to the point of receiving a whisper in my ear — letting me know He was with me and I was never alone.

One of these incidents occurred on a highly frustrating day I experienced. From the time I woke up, my mind was consumed with financial worries, frustrations at work, feeling lonely, and ultimately getting terribly lost on my way to an appointment I was already late for. I entered the parking lot of the office where my appointment was and I broke out in tears. I remember thinking, “I need to talk to someone and just get all this off my chest. Who can I call?”

It was at that exact moment the Holy Spirit inspired me. In my mind I could see an image of the Blessed Sacrament exposed in a beautiful monstrance and heard a voice within me that said, “I am all that you need. You don’t need anything else, just Me.“

Consolation flooded my heart and I knew what I heard was true. It had been some time since I had spent an hour in adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and just had some alone time with Him. Just the thought of being in that peaceful quietness made me feel better. I calmed down and that evening, I spent time in my parish adoration chapel in thanksgiving for His consolations and left my worries at the foot of the cross.

A bridge over troubled waters

Christ is all we need, my friends. In any circumstance and in every state of life, He is all the sustenance we need. We live in a time where so many people have no idea who Christ is. Having a good time, being wealthy and powerful seems to be all that matters anymore in society and as Christians, we need to be the leaven in the bread, the light of the world, the salt of the earth. We need to remain sharp and alert. Spending time in adoration will give you all that you need to live in this world full of temptations and distractions.

It’s important to remember that every state in life has its struggles. I remember a priest telling me that priests in general consider married life to be a much more difficult calling than the priesthood. Wow. It seems like it would be the opposite.

These days, I miss the quiet time I used to have and the ability to freely move about the country as I pleased. I miss that simple, single load of laundry compared with the six loads I currently battle. I miss enjoying the steamed veggies and other healthy dishes I like instead of hearing, “I don’t like that, Mommy!” “I’m not hungry!” “Can I have something else, please?” It’s like living with three little food critics. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. For every state in life, there are pros and cons, wouldn’t you say?

So everyone at some point or another needs a little pick-me-up. Why not get yours at your parish adoration chapel? He is there for you to inspire you, cheer you up, console you, validate you. And He is always there, waiting for you.

Author and speaker Lisa Duffy has 20 years of both personal and professional experience in helping others deal with their divorces. Born and raised in Southern California, Lisa suffered through the pain of being a divorced Catholic in the early 1990s. After seven years of intense struggle, spiritual growth, personal triumphs, and finally remarriage in the church and the birth of three miracle children, her one desire was to help others who were suffering find hope and healing. Lisa has worked for the church in a variety of roles, most recently bringing her divorce support program, Journey of Hope, to parishes in the US and Canada. Lisa is a frequent guest on Catholic radio shows such as Relevant Radio's "On Call With Wendy Wiese", "Catholic Answers Live," and has appeared several times on EWTN's "Women of Grace" with Johnnette Benkovic. Lisa lives in South Carolina with her family.

21 Comments

I love this. So comforting, and you’re so right. Every stage in life has pros and cons! Also a good reminder about adoration, I tend to forget about that beautiful gift.
Thank you for the encouraging story!

Thanks for your inspiration Lisa.
I am fortunate to have a Parish that has an Adoration Chapel open 5 days a week, and when I spend quiet time with the Jesus I feel warmth in my heart and peace in my soul. It is truly a miraculous experience and has been a source of love, peace and joy for me in my life.

I am 35 and have struggled as a lady in waiting for sometime all the while trying to live a full practicing Catholic faith. Loving my family and friends as best I can. Volunteering and traveling. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thanks for this inspiring story! I was pretty content in the single life until someone changed that this past year. About a month ago, we decided to end the relationship and go back to “just being friends.” Although we made this decision for some solid reasons, the loneliness and hurt which I have felt in the past few weeks has been overwhelming at times. However, this experience has given me a powerful appreciation and understanding for the sorrow the Christ feels when we reject his love. While this doesn’t take away the pain, it has allowed me to offer it to Christ, and to concentrate on building my relationship with him!

Meaghan,
The pain your feeling is real. But it is a reminder to us that Christ too felt pain at the Crucification. God is always with us and when your feeling alone just close your eyes real tight for a little while, you will see images that will represent angels are with you. Pray each morning like you have never prayed before. Make the words count.

Thank you for the words of encouragement! I know that God’s plan for me is way better than anything I could possibly devise for myself. It’s just hard to trust him when I can’t see any farther than the step in front of me.

thank you for sharing your life story and struggles with us here on Match. It was just what I needed to hear today after a recent breakup of my 3 year relationship. God alone can make us whole. He alone truly knows what we need and can provide it.