An ongoing journey through substance abuse and eating disorders.

AA Meeting

I am currently at a meeting (topic is ‘acceptance’). I am fully in relapse mode at this point. I just haven’t picked up yet.

It’s like I’ve been just waiting for a reason, any reason, to get high. I think I got that today, when my health insurance appeal was denied. I just don’t feel like I can keep on any more.

I have the means. I have a plan. I’m ready to go. It’s like pulling off a band aid. It seems as if I’m just figuring out whether to use tonight and piss hot tomorrow or wait until after I UA tomorrow and use then instead. I’m leaning toward the latter…