What to Wear When You Say 'I Do'

By

Tina Gaudoin

February 3, 2012

When Raf Simons sent a traditional bride down the runway at the end of his autumn/winter 2012 collection for Jil Sander, the audience could have been forgiven for thinking that the outfit was less wedding-esque and more crisp evening cocktail or modern ball gown. But that was the point. Simons's collection was all about a new way of thinking about the silhouette and the role of the couturier in fashion, and he used the bride to underline that mode of thinking.

Intentional or not, there were myriad dresses on show this season that could suit a modern bride, were she so inclined—from Chanel's pared-down bouclé, to Sarah Burton's frothy, sexily intricate collections for Alexander McQueen, to Marc Jacobs's pretty Broderie Anglaise at Louis Vuitton, complete with tiara (every girl should have one).

Modern Looks for the Bride

Alexander McQueen

Trading the runway for the aisle, dresses for the modern bride.

But the question is, what does a modern bride really want? Anna Valentine, a couturier with a long line of tony clients, including Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (for whom she created both her bridal outfits and her outfit for the most recent royal wedding), points out that it depends first upon the occasion. "If it's a registry office, then many more brides will consider wearing a chic suit, or a lovely dress that can be worn again—it's really the perfect opportunity for that," she says. "You can still look beautiful and distinctive, even if you are not wearing a long dress and a veil."

Greek fashion designer Sophia Kokosalaki—who is getting ready to launch her own range of bridal wear in response to a request from Natalie Massenet of Net-a-Porter, among others—says that many of her clients now choose to marry on an island or beach, which means there are very different priorities. Caroline Burstein, creative director of Browns and founder of Browns Brides, agrees: ''There are so many destination weddings these days that one has to also think in terms of beautiful and easy gowns, often with a vintage feel." What doesn't change with the location, says Burstein, is the essential requirement—"that the dress flatters the body and makes the bride look as good as she possibly can."

As for the traditional church service "meringue," it's a thing of the past. "I think 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' really put everyone off," says Valentine. Even for big church weddings, she says she's a fan of buying a beautiful dress that can be worn more than once. "There's so much opportunity out there to invest in something and then not relegate it to a box, never to see it again," she says.

Being a modern bride—i.e. wearing something that came down the runway, rather than out of a wedding store—won't necessarily be any cheaper. My own straw poll of designer wedding dresses suggests that anything below £2,000 can certainly be considered "reasonable"—Louis Vuitton's Broderie Anglaise dresses start at £23,000 and McQueen's full-length gowns at €10,595. At Net-a-Porter, Lanvin's beautiful modern bridal dresses, from short cocktail to long ball gowns, represent a matrimonial bargain, starting at around £1,600. Valentine's recommendation for making the look really modern: "No veil—or at least a different sort of veil. I once created one that was more like a cowl, wrapping round the shoulders and up toward the face, and it looked stunning." Burton's designs for McQueen this season offer their own unique take on the veil, as a kind skullcap or sometimes an entire facial mask.

Bridal Do's and Don'ts

Do

Wear great shoes. Manolos only please (these you can wear again and you can dye to suit).

Try out your hair and makeup beforehand, and don't be tempted to overdo it. You are not Oscar-nominated.

Choose a dress you feel able to party in (see below).

Consider the time of year. Strapless will not compensate for goose bumps in a village church.

Wear plasters on your nipples (see above).

Wear a fur stole for your winter church wedding (see above), unless you have invited members of PETA.

Eat. Weddings are no reason to starve yourself. The vows do not state "for richer, for poorer and now five pounds lighter."

Don't

Wear a veil that's too long. It will make you look shorter.

Try to highlight any body part that you have doubts about (you know what I'm saying here).

Buy a dress that reinvents itself into a cocktail number for your evening soiree. It's the sartorial equivalent of hacking off the top of your Bentley to make it convertible.

Be tempted by black. Yes, it's a statement, but it doesn't augur well.

Wear anything you might see another guest in.

Break the bank for your dress. Ask yourself, is he breaking the bank for his morning suit?

Ever think you can dye your dress another color and wear it in the future. You can't and won't.

Wear synthetic. You know why.

Burstein says that there is an element of empowerment attached to buying bridal gowns these days, no matter what the cost. Fifty-percent of her customers are buying their own dresses. "Brides are much more in control," she says. "The average age for marriage is 30, and the brides I see know what they want, they know what their body works best in. They want to look at their most beautiful, but they won't be dictated to. Many fewer girls come into the store with their mothers, for example." But Burstein—who includes the New York bride's "must have," Vera Wang, on her roster—adds that most brides are still looking for "pretty, fluffy and long. Not a ball gown any more, but something with a soft structure and lots of movement." "Remember," she says, "a woman doesn't want to go to a wedding and see anyone in anything remotely similar to what she's wearing—so it has to be a standout."

Inevitably, when weddings and looking stunning are discussed in the same sentence, a certain recently married duchess comes to mind. But then, it's easy to look amazing when one has limitless resources at one's disposal, and youth and willowy slimness on one's side. (Incidentally, prospective brides can now purchase the same lace used on the royal dress from Sophie Hallette in Paris; www.sophiehallette.fr). Another candidate for comparison is Kate Moss. But then, there's only one Kate Moss, for whom designer John Galliano specially created a dress. And neither of the aforementioned brides were what one might call forward-thinking in terms of outfits. According to Burstein, when it comes to bridal, no one is safe from that nagging feeling of doubt about their appearance. "In my experience, even the most perfect model has a hang up about her body before her wedding, and even the most modern of women come into the store with the request: 'I want something that says I'm a bride,'" she says.

These days, a standout dress is likely to be open to a broad degree of interpretation. One woman's white flowing satin gown is another woman's idea of hell in a dress. Increasingly, though, the worlds of couture and ready-to-wear offer viable options for a range of women—the most recent example being Valentino's couture show in Paris, where any number of the beautiful, floral silks that swished down the runway with milkmaid meets Marie Antoinette bravado could look equally at home coming down the aisle.

At entirely the other end of the spectrum, check out J.Crew's bridal site (www.jcrew.com/wedding), particularly the "Sarabeth" dress for around £1,200. Kokosalaki's designs, which err on the side of simple and streamlined (from £1,090 to £4,770), offer what might be described as the middle ground between top-of-the-line and what is literally mail-order. Her take is that bridal requirements are actually pretty straightforward. "A modern woman is definitely looking for something that will enhance her physique, but also stay true to her personality," she says. Her most frequent requests? Comfort, and a dress that's not overbearing. And her watchwords? Define the parts you want to show and the parts you want to cover, and stick to it.

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