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Topic: Christmas wish rudeness? (Read 26010 times)

Having worked in the past with a large children's charity I want to make a comment. We used to run a similar scheme with a wish tree on which we placed paper wishes. The children who wrote their wishes down, were told that these were just that, wishes. People might, or might not buy them their wish, but they would still get a present. Yes some children wished for the moon or what ever 'in present' was popular that year. I don't remember any one getting one of those wishes come true though. Mind you it was the same in my daughter's circle of friends, many of their wish list items were not in their stockings on Christmas Morning. However all our wish tree children got a present. If we were asked by donors we suggest clothes, knowing that many parents would be grateful as well as the child. If you could see the look on the recipient's faces, it would reward enough for you too. Well done for finding out what the desired clothes are this year, and adding a little extra to the parcel. I know that the outcome for those two children will be positive

All of us need to remember the difference between a wish list and a demand, and that a present is freely given.

Just to wish you all a peaceful and loving holiday and may 2013 be a good year for you all

I remember the year I asked for a specific electronic toy. I don't know if my parents couldn't afford it or couldn't find it, but they got me another electronic toy. I remember going to the basement (so they wouldn't know I was doing this) and crying over it.

Then - that toy became my favorite electronic toy! Kids can adjust and adapt.

And frankly, (putting on my flame-proof underwear here) if the family has to put a wish list on a tree because they can't afford to buy presents, I think it's presumptuous to ask for a high end electronic toy. A lot of these "tree wish ornaments" kids need clothes and shoes and their parents can't afford them. Asking for some modest priced toys is fine. But asking for an iPad? Just strikes me as being greedy. The organization should gently let the kid know that a list of other, more modestly priced toys should be added as well. Fine and dandy to ask for high priced item, but don't get your heart set on it and don't make it the only item on the list. The people buying these presents also have their own families to buy for.

ETA: The above is just how I would feel if I were in that position of having to put my kids name on a tree. I've been in the position of being the recipient of some medical supplies for DS and I have been thrilled and grateful for what was given me. It would have felt greedy to me if I had asked for more or the big super wonderful new item available, instead of the older item I was given.

While I no longer particpate in our local XMAS charity ---- long involved other thread ----

They did a good job with wish lists. Parents submitted the list for their child. Nothing over $100 and no gaming systems ( because they required $$$ games ). Anythign a donor gave went to that child unless it was age inappropriate.

Kids asked for 3 things ... we tried to get them one of the three - BUT we also stressed that we were not a catalouge service. I saw some really greedy gifts requested by parents on behalf of their children. Designer clothes, IPADS, Professional sporting goods tickets etc. We deleted those items and donors never saw them.

I think you did fine. It's a wish list ..... and its a gift... if the organization thought the child needed aomehting else - they would add to it.

LordL grew up getting nothing but hand me downs (some salvaged from the town dump) when he was a kid. Just getting a new toy would have been a thrill. I think that's a plenty generous gesture, OP. I am also not a fan of a gift drive where some kids get clothes or other essentials, and others get iPod level gifts because they asked. It just doesn't seem fair. I think a price minimum and maximum are good ideas for toy drives.

I would just rather have the child get a present even if it's not exactly what he wants than nothing at all. If the OP had picked the ornament in November then I can see the argument that she should have chosen someone else, but it's late in the holiday season, and this child's name was not chosen. I think it's fine to buy him nice, age appropriate toys which is a better alternative than receiving nothing at all. To me, it's not about him learning a lesson, it's about him having something to open at Christmas even if it wasn't exactly what he requested.

See to me though, that is a life lesson. The lesson being, even though maybe he didn't get just what he asked for, at least he knows he is still worthy of gifts. That maybe he didn't get his exact wish, but he wasn't just pushed to the side and forgotten; someone cared enough to try to get him something he would enjoy.

Everyone fits into the world. Sometimes we all wish we fit into a different place then where we are, but its always important to remember, even if we aren't exactly where we wish were were in the grand scheme of it all, we are still here, and cared about and important.

I just want to say that the bolded is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.

OP, I think you did exactly the right thing. It sounds tome like his name had been passed over because of the expensive gift request, and that he might not have gotten anything at all if you had not chosen something for him. I love that you put so much thought into it.

That said, I don't think it's greedy for poor kids to request expensive items. Poor kids are allowed to want nice things, too, and it's a wish list, not a demand.

So if you were rude, OP, does that mean Santa was rude for not buying me the horse I asked for every year between 6-10?

I don't think you were rude at all. I plucked a tag off an Angel tree this year asking for a learning toy for a 1 year old girl. I didn't have a lot to buy her so I did get a little phone that teaches shapes and colors.

Logged

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata