I aspired to reach for the stars. To invoke the jealousy of those persnickety Gods we hear so much about. My uber-laudable mission was to procure a birthday gift for my wife of such incalculable magnificence that any trite concerns of time and tide would be completely obliterated by the light of its epic-tastic magnificence. Countless worthy avenues of unparalleled largesse were furiously explored and discounted. Stones of-an-unturned-nature were becoming rarer than award-winning documentaries on fish dentistry.