Yolanda Rodriguez column: A mothers title should be earned 05-05-2008

Published 7:00 pm, Sunday, May 4, 2008

I am having a difficult time leading up to Mothers' Day.

It just does not make sense! The most important job in the world is to be a mother and, yet, requires no course, no test, no licensure and/or degree.

The title "mother" should be earned. Just because a woman conceives, gives birth to or raises a child does not indicate that she is skilled in nurturing a child. The position of mother should come with a test to check for love, warmth, understanding and the lifelong commitment for willingness to stand up for, stand by, stand with and then stand aside, allowing the child to be their best from birth into adulthood.

The exam should make sure that mothering would not be self-seeking in using that position for personal gain of attention and/or recognition. The title "mother" should indicate the ability to be respected for her wisdom. The ability to watch over, nourish, protect and assist the child toward reaching their full potential should be at the top of the questionnaire, pre-test and post-test.

If tenderness, patience and unconditional love are not part of a potential mother's intricate personality and characteristics, then they should simply not be allowed to reproduce.

There are two lists: good mothers and bad mothers. Sadly these days, more and more the balance weighs heavily on the later mentioned, and it seems the list continues to grow rapidly.

The difficulty I am experiencing is due to the reality of the recent deaths of some wonderful precious mothers that I had the privilege of knowing personally.

The first of the week brought news of the death of Mrs. Isabel Adams of Petersburg which, though expected, was still unwelcome. She fought cancer like the way she lived life  head-on. She outlived the expectancy of all her doctors, enjoying every moment of each day with the family she loved so much and which loved her. Packed with a positive attitude and love for each day, she entered into the presence of her Creator.

The too soon news of the death of Mrs. Irene Walker followed. This dear and loving woman left a legacy of selflessness and unconditional love. In the words of a well-deserved tribute to his mother, one of her sons, Warren Paul Walker, summed: "She was a devoted mother of three and to whoever needed her. I could always count on her to say 'I love you.' When I gave up on myself she never did."

However, the most recent tragic, unexpected and untimely death of longtime family friend Mary Landeros Rivera knocked the wind out of all who knew her well. This one-of-a-kind being dearly loved her husband and only son and still had room for everyone else along life's way. Such irony that the kind and loving teacher "with a big heart" died of massive heart-related problems.

A partial answer to the question, "What is a good mother?" is in the two following works (authors unknown). The first states:

"A mother is . . ."

Someone who cares when others care less.

Someone who encourages when others ridicule.

Someone who defends when others condemn.

Someone with patience when others are impatient.

Someone who appreciates when others fail to notice.

Someone who gives security in a world of insecurity.

Someone who is accepting when others reject.

A Mother is a friend for all time, to cherish and protect, as her achievements will linger for generations.

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"What is a Mother?"

A Mother can be almost any size or age. She has soft hands and smells good.

A mother likes new dresses, music, a clean house and her children's kisses.

A mother does not like having her children sick, temper tantrums, loud noise or bad report cards.

She can bake good cakes and pies, but likes to see her children eat vegetables.

A mother is underpaid, has long hours and gets very little rest.

She worries too much about her children.

And no matter how old they are, she still likes to think of her children as babies.

A mother is the guardian angel of the family, the queen, the tender heart of love.

She is the best friend anyone ever has. A Mother is LOVE.

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For some this upcoming Mother's Day will be very difficult without their moms, but for some of us whose mothers are still with us, we will continue to thank God for the privilege.

Happy Mother's Day to all good mothers, and I will continue to pray for the others.

(Yolanda Godsey Rodriguez is a Plainview freelance writer. Contact her at yesdog@hotmail.com)