April 28, 2010

Zealots, Maniacs, and Hustlers

I am frequently accused of being anti web marketing. I'm getting tired of responding to these accusations all the time, so I've decided that every few months I'm just going to re-publish this post from July 2009.

Here at The Ad Contrarian global headquarters, we've developed a reputation for being anti-digital media and pro-traditional media.

We are neither.

We have no personal interest in, or allegiance to, any medium. We're in favor of whatever works.

Our only purpose is to fight bullshit, hyperbole and words without meaning. We are against zealots, maniacs and hustlers of any stripe.

We would be equally vociferous in our denunciations if traditional media hustlers were saying that

digital marketing is dead

the web is dead

there is a new species of consumer who no longer share information about products

tv has “changed everything"

As a matter of fact, you will find that we have been just as voluble in our disdain for the "brand babbler" wing of traditional advertising as we are for cult members of The Divine Church of The Internet.

There are many smart, reasonable people working in digital media who do not make preposterous assertions; who do not think that social media is the answer to every question; who do not speak in dreadful, impenetrable jargon.

We respect and appreciate these people.

All we want to do is get our readers to understand:

the risks and rewards of all media investments

the difference between facts and “buzz”

that success stories (both digital and traditional) tend to find their way into print but failures get buried

that the “narrative” that has arisen about social media marketing is largely anecdotal and substantially fact-free.

We try not to be advocates of anything other than common sense. We try not to be enemies of anything other than bullshit.

Note To Subscribers: Yesterday I changed my RSS feed from a short version to a complete version. For technical reasons I have had to return to the short version. C'mon. It's one more click. You can use the exercise.

"Shakespeare was a storyteller. You're a copywriter.""Good ads appeal to us as consumers. Great ads appeal to us as humans.""As an ad medium, the web is a much better yellow pages and a much worse television."

"Sometimes success in the advertising business requires sitting quietly and letting clients proceed with their hysterical delusions."

"Marketers prefer precise answers that are wrong to imprecise answers that are right."

"Brand studies last for months, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and generally have less impact on business than cleaning the drapes."

"The idea that the same consumer who was frantically clicking her TV remote to escape from advertising was going to merrily click her mouse to interact with it is going to go down as one of the great advertising delusions of all time."

"Nobody really knows what "creativity" is. Every year thousands of people take a pilgrimage to find out. This involves flying to Cannes, snorting cocaine, and having sex with smokers."

"Marketers habitually overestimate the attraction of new things and underestimate the power of traditional consumer behavior."

"We don’t get them to try our product by convincing them to love our brand. We get them to love our brand by convincing them to try our product."

"In American business, there is nothing stupider than the previous generation of management."

"If the message is right, who cares what screen people see it on? If the message is wrong, what difference does it make?"

"The only form of product information on the planet less trustworthy than advertising is the shrill ravings of web maniacs."

"There's no bigger sucker than a gullible marketer convinced he's missing a trend."

"All ad campaigns are branding campaigns. Whether you intend it to be a branding campaign is irrelevant. It will create an impression of your brand regardless of your intent."

"Nobody ever got famous predicting that things would stay pretty much the same."