I’m Watching What I Eat

Before children, I never had a reason to watch what I eat. I indulged myself in BBQ dripping with grease, fantastic cakes made of chocolate with chocolate icing, and (gasp!) deep fried delicacies: Oreos, Snickers, and even soda.

Those days long have passed and for years I have been shamefully hiding in dark closets under the black veil of the vapid night consuming everything from spicy nacho Doritos to Ghiradelli fine chocolates. Many days I find myself absentmindedly pausing at the green light outside of our local Krispy Kreme doughnut store,

— drooling. Eyes wide and staring with intensity at the glowing red light, taunting me into a caloric abyss that one might easily compare to that one guy who has absolutely NO business hanging around an all you can eat buffet.

Now for those of you who expected me to profess an unwavering commitment to counting calories in a futile attempt to burn off that muffin top, I apologize (my muffin top is way too sexy and I don’t for see it going anywhere!). The title of my article might be a bit misleading as my intent would be to literally watch what I eat: after having children, any food I leave lying around for the most minute period of time disappears.

Where did that Hershey’s dark chocolate bar with almonds really go? The answer lies in a pair of big brown eyes staring up at me. The mouth that professes that she did not eat it, lends evidence in the form of a cocoa colored ring.

Hmmm…A bit suspicious?

I will no longer leave a smoking plate of salmon sitting leisurely on the countertop. I will watch it with an unyielding eye, while unloading dishes and taking out the trash. My food will no longer disappear.

With a total of eight mouths in the household, my ability to watch what I eat means the difference between procuring bits of chewed, wet morsels of chicken nuggets off of my toddler’s high chair trey and a good, warm meal.