i'll start...
about 2 years ago (at my old job) my english buddy ( a raving alcoholic) decided to celebrate lunch at an irish pub downtown... it was just the two of us...
we ended up taking a 3 hour lunch and drinking about 6 pitchers of all sorts of beer....
during that 3 hours, i made out with 2 irish waitresses, danced for about 30 minutes to some irish folk band and got a free tshirt that said 'kiss me i'm irish' from the pub.

saying too many dudes are Tyson Chandler, trying
to lead their teams and went nowhere

Scarborough, We Go Hard..

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 6,634

Representing:

My last year away at university (2002), at my residence's year end banquet, I got so liqoured up beforehand (started at 8am, drank a 26er of Tequilla), I had to go to the bathroom at the banquet hall to sober up - fell asleep on the can for an hour and a half, left the banquet for 2 hours to drink green beer at some pub a couple of blocks down the street (almost getting picked up by the cops for public intoxication) then went back to the banquet and slept with 2 girls within 2 hours of each other and neither of them knowing about the other.

saying too many dudes are Tyson Chandler, trying
to lead their teams and went nowhere

Scarborough, We Go Hard..

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 6,634

Representing:

The sidenote in all of this is that I almost didn't sleep with one of them. She couldn't decide between me and some other doofus who she wanted to sleep with. She had to flip a coin to decide which one she would bang. I won. Then word spread about it and I was blacklisted for the rest of the year (didn't matter, only had 1 month before I left that God-forbiddened city for good).

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff...Dad....I became a prostitute..."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur
coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For my little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club........................ (takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ..."

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."