The Let's Play Archive

Part 17: Storm of Spears.

Pirate ships attacking our trading vessels! Also, Ludwig Von Beethoven was just recruited. I have no idea how or where...

I don't CARE! ZULUS! ATTACKING US! Huey, where are my rifles?

Coming up, Boss!

Hohohoho, what need have I of a gun when I can trample my enemies and skewer them with my lance!?

Man, these recruits from previous centuries are eccentric

I'm through giving a free ride to the students. From now on, our universities are charging tuition. Not much, of course they'll still operate at a loss. But I need to tidy up my economy.

Right! We got rifles and gatling guns now! Of course, they're just support weapons can't charge into a city pushing this thing forward on its wheels but still!

It's kind of tragic. Dr. Gatling invented them because he thought they would make contemporary gun battles obsolete. Instead of two armies of hundreds of men shooting once at each other, it'd be just two guys on either side shooting hundreds of times.

It never occurred to him you could have that and also the hundred guys shooting once on top of that?

Nope. I guess weapon designers like me have always failed to comprehend how their weapons will actually be used in reality. We we're just recreating the mistakes of the past, too, aren't we?

Not if I can help it. Trust in me, Huey.

Greetings! I am Robert Goddard, the man who invented the liquid-fueled rocket! I heard you need help building stuff?

I'm thinking of saving you for a special project, Mr. Goddard. Thanks for joining us.

Damn, these guys may just be spearmen but they look mean.

Impi. They specialize in swarming, rushing attacks as they surround their enemies but right now we've got this unit of them surrounded. They're more than a match for slow-firing muskets but a well-used Gatling Gun strike can take them on.

Enemy Pirate Vessel conquered and captured, sir! I think we should use the extra sea power to protect our trade routes.

Good thinking, Fiddler Crab!

Sir! Sir! I found evidence that Napoleon is plotting against us!

No kidding. Anything new, genius?

It's mostly a naval attack don't know where, though. We don't have a lot of coastal cities within striking distance.

Hmm. Hey. Huey! How's my latest Secret Project coming along? The one that you claimed would help everyone keep on time and improve efficiency?

Just finished it, Snake!

it's a giant clock.

Knowing what time it is is essential for coordination and planning!

It's a giant clock.

Plus, the bells are so loud that everyone will be reminded of what time it is even when they aren't looking. The military schedule will--

It's a giant clock.

Sorry. Do, uh, do you not like it?

Huey, this is the best idea I've ever seen. I'll never have to wear a wristwatch again! Good job, man!

Oh. Uh glad you like it!

An envoy from the Zulus is offering us one of their outposts if we cease hostilities.

Uh-uh. He thinks we're conquering scum, but he's not offering to free the city-states he attacked and conquered? No deal. I'm going to rescue our clients from this hypocrite.

This land is still full of hidden artifacts but most of the obvious ones on the surface have been picked-over. We need special diggers to find them. So, get out there, pal! Consider this an Outer Ops mission.

Let's shore up our defenses even more make it so our cities can grow in peace.

(This will let us purchase Great Engineers. Very important. I probably should have finished off Tradition sooner for the growth bonus, but whatever.)

What the France just made SUGAR ILLEGAL?

that monster! How are we going to make rum now?!

We used that Goddard guy to help us finish the new hyper-advanced training facility, Boss! This one has saw blades that pop out of the walls and bottle rockets to simulate artillery strikes.

Excellent. Our boys and girls will be the most well-trained people in the universe.

Hoo-hoo-hoo, now we've got some real firepower. We'll be able to take on targets before they can even see it coming.

Aww, hell! IMPI RUSH!

This is how my people fight, Snake. Every soldier an army, and every army a storm!

I've been preparing some rain of my own, mister. Don't worry, troops, this time your guns don't suck. Fight smart and you can win this. Try to take some of them alive if you can!

Okay, okay, get this: it's a fantasy western story, kind of like a spaghetti western in fact, exactly that. The main character is even named Django, he even drags a coffin around but it's a vampire coffin. He kills vampires and drags them out into a special place to kill them permanently.

Oooh, ooh, yeah! I love it! And he's armed with a solar-powered gun that shoots sunlight!

The typewriter monkeys are getting creative

Sir! France they're making their move! We don't know where, though.

I've got forces scattered all over the island, mostly protecting city-states. Wherever he strikes I can counterattack I hope.

We managed to convince these Impi that you're cool and Shaka's lame, sir!

Good. Let's hope they don't get killed in retaliation

More evidence, sir! We think Napoleon's ganging up on Shaka during this moment of weakness, not you!

Yeah, but that'll make him stronger. I want that territory captured and liberated in that order, not under Napoleon's thumb.