Illegalities!

These Crooks Just Aren't So Bright...

Hello, All!
It's been a while since I went through the crooks file, and I
discovered another stack of crime stories. Amazing the lengths
people will go to just to get into jail, isn't it?
One little note of business before we get on with things. If
you are really looking closely this Monday morning, you might
notice that my Email address and home of SUNFUN has changed just
slightly. The '72060.251, etc.' should have been replaced by now
with:
billbb@compuserve.com
I have to stay up with the times and upgrade as the opportunity
comes along, right? The numbered account marks me as being one of
the real 'old-timers' out here in cyberspace, back in the days when
300 Baud was normal and 1200 Baud was really fast(!). But just so
you know, I still get mail sent to either address; the old address
is forwarded to the new one, so feel free to use either address for
now.
Of course, SUNFUN Thanks go out this week to: Daniel Butler,
Peter Adler, Helen Yee and Bob Martens for their contributions. I
always enjoy the great stuff you folks send me, and I really
couldn't do this without you! Now, flip on the lights and siren
and roll out for the SUNFUN crime report...
Have a great week!

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SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T HELP IT -
[ Crime May Be Habit Forming... ]
- In September, according to police in Junction City, Kansas,
David Bell, 30, who was just released from jail for car
theft, walked out the door and stole another car to get
home.
- Last October, William B. Singleton, 24, just released from
jail in Belton, Missouri, on a larceny charge, allegedly
broke into a vending machine in the lobby of the police
station and stole a 60-cent Strawberry Twisteroo candy while
he waited for his ride to arrive.
- A man convicted of robbery in Texas worked out a deal to pay
$9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For
payment, he provided the court a check -- a *forged* check.
He got 10 years.
- EAST NORRITON, Pennsylvania (Philadelphia Online, 02-18) -
William Charlton was arrested for trying to steal a TV set at
a local Kmart store. As soon as he was released on a $2,500
bond, Charlton took a cab to the same Kmart and tried stealing
another TV set. He almost got away with it, but the cab
driver would not move unless Charlton paid him $25. Too bad
Charlton did not have the money. He was arrested again.
- VIRGINIA BEACH, VA. (01-20) -- Tony Brite - obviously not
living up to his name - showed up at his preliminary hearing
on a car theft charge driving a brand new Volvo with New
York license plates. Yes, it was stolen.
- According to a story in the Eugene, Oregon Register-Guard,
convicted con man Anthony Fiederer started the local
Alzheimer's Foundation in 1993 and raised $36,000, of which
$200 went toward Alzheimer's research and $14,000 was
allegedly embezzled by Fiederer. The newspaper also
reported that Fiederer initially used his involvement with
his Foundation to satisfy a "community service" sentence on
a previous conviction for swindling and that he used
Foundation funds to make court-ordered restitution to
victims in that case. [Eugene Register-Guard, 7-18-95]
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DUMB & DUMBER FILE -
- A German "tourist" at London's Heathrow Airport, supposedly
on a golf holiday, showed up at customs with his golf bag.
While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official
realized that the tourist didn't even know what a "handicap"
is. The customs official asked the tourist to demonstrate
his swing, which he did -- backwards! A substantial amount
of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
- A woman in Berlin Germany, apparently deciding that her skin
cream was no longer working for her, decided that she would
just have to bathe in the milk of a camel like a modern-day
Cleopatra. So she stole a camel from the Berlin Zoo - The
only place she could find a camel locally - and transported
it back to her house. She might have actually succeeded in
her goofy scheme, except that the camel's name was 'Otto' and
he happened to be a HE!
- Steven King of Decatur, Alberta, robbed a convenience store
but left his wallet, which contained his identification,
behind. His get away car broke down, and three men beat him up
when they mistook him for an intruder at his girlfriend's
house.
- Troy Durben of California, was described by police as
"extremely bold or extremely stupid," when he returned to cash
his paycheck at the same bank he robbed six days before.
- A 33-year-old woman stole several wallets from customers at a
grocery store. Fleeing the store, she allegedly dumped the
wallets into a produce bin. One of the wallets was her own.
One of the victims identified the crook from her photo-ID. The
accused thief was later arrested after she called police to
report her wallet is missing.
- Two men in Virginia drove their pickup truck went to a
new-home site in order to steal a refrigerator. After causing
serious damage to the home they were robbing, stole a
refrigerator from the house, and loaded it onto the pickup.
The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these geniuses
decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more*
walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the
house, and returned to their pickup truck, only to realize
that they locked the keys in the truck -- so they abandoned
it.
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HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME -
- MOSCOW, (01-06) -- During his daily walk, a cat owner
decided to place his Siamese pet around his neck as an added
protection against the freezing temperatures.
As the cat owner walked down the street in Moscow, a
thief tried to grab hold of the kitty, obviously mistaking
it for an expensive fur collar. The cat responded by sinking
its teeth and claws into the thief's hand. The local
newspaper Vologodskiy Novosti reported the thief, who was
pretty stunned by the whole thing, immediately disappeared.
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CHEATED COPS -
- When President Clinton decided to take a swim at Daytona
Beach, Fla., three Secret Service agents assigned to protect
him had no choice but to follow him in. When they came
ashore, the agents' Secret Service badges, wallets, credit
cards, jewelry, hotel room keys, sun glasses, watches, and
shoes and socks were all missing from the beach. (Reuter)
[ The Republicans are reported to be very upset that
the bad guys took the stuff and left Clinton. ]
- LIMA, Peru (12-17) -- Responding to a robbery in progress,
the police officers caught the robbers after a car chase
through a remote Andean village. The thieves escaped arrest
after bribing the officers with a "thick pile" of cash,
according to witnesses. When counting the money the next
morning, the policemen found out the robbers had given them
counterfeit money.
- In May, a federal judge in Beaumont, Texas, issued a
permanent injunction against the Quadro Corporation of
Harleyville, South Carolina, which had been selling an
illegal-drug finding device to government agencies and
schools for up to $8,000 each. FBI tests had found the
device merely a plastic box equipped with a radio antenna,
completely incapable of detecting drugs or anything else.
However, several law enforcement officers and school
principals swore to the judge that the Quadro Tracker worked
for them.
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IN A PIG'S EYE -
- Darrel J. Voeks, 46, has been convicted of livestock theft
and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Voeks stole $96,965
worth of pigs from his Outagamie County, Wisconsin employer,
said he needed money to help his family. But District
Attorney Vince Biskupic argued that Voeks, who had two prior
convictions for livestock theft, instead used the money "to
support his own vices, simply to satisfy his own selfish
desires." How? By using it to gamble and to tip strippers --
including $3,000 he gave to a dancer so she could get breast
implants. (AP)
[ This little piggy went to jail... ]
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RAISING A STINK ABOUT IT -
- In November, Newcastle, England, farmer David Cannon, 66,
was convicted of criminal damage and fined about $3,200. His
patience exhausted after a five-year dispute with the
National Westminster Bank that is still not resolved, Cannon
had sprayed four tons of cow manure over the bank building,
which required workers two weeks to clean.
- Six Edmonton, Alberta (Canada), police cruisers chased and
stopped a Loomis armored car in May after a report that it
was weaving erratically down the road and that a guard
appeared to be signaling by repeatedly swinging one of the
doors open. There was no holdup, according to the police;
rather, one of the guards had passed gas, and the other
guard was trying to air out the cab.
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