After grappling with nappies and watching Teletubbies since 6.30 in the morning, Guido wandered bleary-eyed towards the kitchen in search of a coffee for breakfast, failing to spot the clear and present danger arranged by Ms Fawkes.

As a result of an improvised booby trap of which Al Qaeda would have been pleased, Guido executed a Chaplinesque aerial manoeuvre, kicking the wall barefoot and audibly crunching his toes before landing bum-first. Ouch. Ms Fawkes cackled hysterically and Baby Fawkes clapped gleefully in her high chair exclaiming “Dadda!” in an impressed “do it again” tone. Even the nanny giggled before regaining her composure and clearing away the booby trap toys.