Megan’s Bridal Shower

Temperatures all over the great state of Washington are on the rise and as the scorching UV’s kiss my alabaster shoulders, I can’t help but look back on weekends past and, well, sweat. While Eastern Washington is notoriously hot for much of the year, the weather actually reached a Floridian climate. We felt as if we were smack dab in the middle of the Everglades, hunting crocs and warding off bird-sized bugs. I even have the bites to prove it.

More importantly though, two weeks ago we celebrated Megan’s upcoming marriage by throwing her a shower. And shower her, we did.

My weekend started on Thursday around 4:30, when I peeled off my black slacks in exchange for a pair of cutoffs and hit the road. Braving even the shortest trip in “Cliff”, my two-toned red ’97 Toyota Corolla is a little iffy to say the least but (knock on wood) so far, he hasn’t failed me yet. Cliff doesn’t have an operating CD player or cruise control as well as 2 frustrating speeds for the windshield wipers but what he lacks in amenities, he more than makes up in style and good ol’ fashioned reliability.

I rolled into Kennewick around 7:30 pm, just in time for drinks with the aunties, Meg and my Mom at Azteca. After white-knuckling it up and down the pass while mini-vans angrily whizzed by, I was more than ready for warm chips and a bucket of tequila-laden drinks. Then, it was over to Meg and Ben’s soon-to-be abode for a looksie. We took in the gorgeous view and I had a chance to chat with my sis Rachel for a few minutes while mosquitoes happily chomped away at my lower legs. My blood must have given those skeeters quite the buzz because now, 2 weeks later, I look like a modern-day leper.

Enjoying a nip of Fireball at Ben’s.

That night, Nan and I took inventory of the decorations I have been slaving over for the past couple of months when I discovered the horror of all horrors – I had forgotten the main decoration. The pièce de résistance if you will. I cursed, I wept, I pounded my angry fist into the air. Then we got to work designing an alternative (see pictures below).

The next morning I awoke to perform my usual “being at home” rituals. Woke up wearing Amy’s old soccer shorts and Gonzaga summer camp muscle shirt with pit-stains, went upstairs and got myself a cup of Yuban from our coffee pot which ALWAYS leaks no matter how you pour it, played with Chloe McDoogal the ill-tempered chihuahua and sung the “Your a Little Girl” song I made up on the spot and then proceeded to try on all the millions of beauty products my sister has in her bathroom.

BABY.

We began our Friday as we normally do, with a trip to the Targs. While I found difficulty in selecting a lamp shade to adorn an acrylic lamp base, I easily found the Milani blush I have been on the hunt for. Three cheers for Dolce Pink!

We then went to Starbucks and I selected a delicious tomato and cheese croissant that tasted like pizza. Then we treated ourselves to pedicures. Sadly, I cannot recommend anyone go to Magic Nail (singular) after my sub-par treatment, as there was nothing magical about the inferior, less-than-10-minute job they did on my southern-most extremities #2coatsmyass.

Da Bride.

Nan and Aunt Judy

Appropriate Literature

The Grow-Out Twins!

Around 4:30 I headed over to our family friend Karla’s lovely home to do a little decorating. We hung, arranged, draped and wove various pink accoutrements about the house, fussing over tiny details, laughing at our ourselves and hoping it would all come together. Somehow, we managed to adorn the house tastefully without breaking any bones or using the F word too much. Go us.

Calico Critters!!

Take Home Treats

Handsome Prizes

After a lengthy decorating sesh, I found myself jonesing for pizza and my ALL-TIME favoritethingintheworld, Nan’s caesar salad. Megan and I picked up two pies from Yoke’s (Amy’s former employer) and may have accidentally bought eyeliners and eyeshadows at Fred Meyer. Might be doing another beauty post soon because this is best pencil eyeliner from the drugstore EVER:

We feasted on pizza and drank Sminoff Light Vodka mixed with Sprite. Yum.

Ah Yeeeah.

Then Rachel and Jaclyn came over and we played a few rousing hands of shanghai rummy which I lost by a margin of roughly 100 points. Luckily, I had the antics of Jaclyn and Nan to keep me happily entertained.

The next day was the BIG day. I sprang out of bed, went upstairs and scooped up Chloe for a little bouncing like a baby in the kitchen. Clearly, I need a puppy…are you listening Bryan?? The house aflutter with excitement and last minute prep, Nan and I made a dutiful run to the Wal-Mart for almond milk, a chalkboard and a block of Tillamook cheese. The necessities. We were to meet at Karla’s around 11 and it was already 9:45. Megan was in the shower, my hair + makeup were a mess and I still needed to do Nan and my aunt Judy’s makeup. Luckily, with the combination of me being AWESOME and the Policar’s perpetual tardiness, it all worked out.

As I adhered false eyelashes to my face and orangey self tanner to my skin – I had to smile. My big sister Megan was getting married. We got to have a big party for her, all pink and girly, eat cupcakes, open presents, get drunk, laugh and cry. Unfortunately I had to snap out of it, I had makeup to apply, cupcakes to pick up and babies to kiss! Well, maybe not babies to kiss…

Snagle Tooth

I quickly pinned a bird in my hair and arrived to Karla’s a little late donning this shirt:

We filled the ice buckets, laid out the cold cuts and with one final spritz of hair spray – the party was ready! Guests began to arrive promptly at one. I did what any amazing hostess would do, took their purse and graciously led them to the spiked punch. Masterminded by my aunties, we served Pink Lady Punch – a delightful concoction of Sprite, Vodka and pink lemonade.

Sister Rachel and Jaclyn

Megan, Grandma Milly and Myself

Sistas

More Sistas

We mingled, nibbled Jewish delicacies like boyos and snapped pictures of adorable party-goers in their Kate Middleton-inspired fascinators. We then dined on yummy chicken salad croissants and fresh fruit while I happily polished off a few more boyos.

Nan and Co.

Boyos. Omg.

As soon as the food was eaten, it was time for my section of the party – the GAMES. Our family, admittedly LOVES to play games. Board games, card games, yard games even MIND games…muahahaha! So when an opportunity presents itself where games are appropriate, we’re all over it. I realized that not all shower guests are as keen on the recreational activities as we are, so I had to roll with the punches.

The first game we played was one I got the idea for from Pinterest (where else?). The point of the game is to match as many movie quotes as you can to the movie it is from. To make it all bridal showery, I selected Meg’s favorite rom-coms. And surprise, surprise – Megan got them all right. I planned to play another game, appropriately labeled “Megan Trivia”, but I was losing my audience. And a good entertainer should know how to revive an otherwise distracted audience…

Yes, we played the “panty game” at Megan’s bridal shower. Typically a bachelorette party game, I was unsure as to how Ben’s 93 year-old grandmother would react to a see-through g-string being waved fervently in her face. But upon my aunties unrelenting persistence, we encouraged guests to choose a pair of underwear that represented their personality and bring it along to the shower to provide Megan a honeymoon trousseau…of sorts.

Everybody was a good sport and improvised by bringing items they may have been more comfortable with – like an apron or flip-flops. Megan guessed wisely and ended up procuring a very interesting array of undergarments and the like in the end.

After that, it was on to the good stuff – PRESENTS. In typical little sister fashion, I was jealous. However, I was happy to see my big sister receive so many thoughtful and amazing things that the green little monster inside of me quickly diminished and I happily, but diligently crafted her bouquet of bows for the rehearsal.

Scarily Excited…

The party concluded with Rachel’s amazing cupcakes, which were filled with scrumptiousness and slathered in a marshmallowy dream.

Rachel is a PRO

We polished off another bottle of wine as we cleaned up and loaded our things into the car. After arriving home, a quick cat-nap and a cold shower later, we were off to dinner at Casa Mia, an east Kennewick establishment. We had yet another pizza, salad and a little more vino for good measure and then it was back to the homestead for another Danielson family favorite: saladbowl.

Normal.

A deconstruction of the classic game shirades, saladbowl is a test of whits, speed and above all-creativity. My allergies had taken a turn for the worse so I proved to be quite the teammate, attempting to elicit Nyquil from Nan when I had already taken the whole medicine cabinet. After a devastating loss, the kiddies decided to go out on “the town”, i.e the Sports Page, while I settled into the couch with my book and benadryl-induced coma.

Sunday started innocently enough. The usual morning coffee, kitchen bouncing with Chloe and chatting with the fam.

I look like a young british man.

I styled Karen’s hair for a wedding she was on her way to and then took off for Redmond. I hit traffic right outside Ellensburg and basically crawled along the highway going between 10-30 MPH for over an hour while listening to a book on tape that I have now heard over 3 times (oh, and I have to use a battery operated boombox to listen to the CDs). I arrived home to our stifling apartment around 6:30, made even worse by the fact that we had stupidly decided to make pizza (yes, my 3rd of the weekend). 4 slices, 2 popsicles and 1 Benadryl later, I hit the hay – a little toasty but absolutely elated at a successful weekend.

Groping and Jaclyn Photo-Bombing

Next up – our adventures in Leavenworth. My family actually got their sh*t together and rented an adorable little cabin for the 4th. Stay tuned for costco-size proportions of vodka, wine and of course GUSHERS.

love this. so much. 1- love that you used wedding chicks for the sihoutte printout. 2- your decorating and pinterest skills are super fab. 3- megan is one lucky gal to have a magestical sister like you. congrats to you both! xoxo