We like to think of Ms. Paltrow more by her culinary aspirations than by her music or cinematic work…after all, she released two culinary books in the last three years, so obviously her Chia Seed Pudding recipes must be a huge hit with the kids these days.

Although we have to wonder, with all the Instagram options available to make food look edible, why does Ms. Paltrow’s dishes always end up looking like stomach-churning GOOP?