"The Art Of Fashion"

Episode

D. What a bullshit ending, right? Oh, and Rami: there's a point where drape turns into droop, if you know what I mean. (FYI, I mean my eyelids are drooping because I'm falling asleep.)

Which letter did you text to Bravo headquarters?

Really, as if you needed more concrete evidence that this is the least interesting season of Project Runway yet, Bravo can't even bother to come up with a serviceable controversy on which to peg a text poll. They might as well have asked the audience: Does Christian say "fierce" too much? A. Oh my fierce, yes. B. Hell to the fierce-no.

This challenge was thoroughly uninteresting as well: though the blame lies almost as much with the designers as it does with the producers for that one. Yes, asking the contestants to design an outfit inspired by a piece of art from one of the three stodgiest galleries at the Met is a pretty—ahem—uninspiring challenge. But the designers were more than happy to wallow in that uninspiring pool. Most of their outfits were such literal interpretations of the garments depicted in the paintings and statues, that the challenge might as well have been "recreate a garment from a painting or statue." Rami draped and draped and draped that bridesmaid-y lavender fabric until he folded time in on itself and was back in ancient Greece. Chris essentially made the dress that the French noblewoman was wearing in the painting using the pattern from the couture challenge. And Christian simply inflated the ridiculousness and puffy sleeves of that Spaniard's outfit.

At least Jillian and Sweet P's work was a translation of the art into fashion, not a copy of it in fabric form. You could see that the two of them must have thought about how to interpret the paintings into their designs: Jillian, for example, must have thought, "I wonder what an argonaut would look like at a roller disco wearing a modern majorette jacket?" While Sweet P probably thought, "Hmm. How could I evoke a peacock in the ugliest way possible? Garish colors!"

If it wasn't for the barely intelligible croakings of Roberto Cavalli ("What ees more fahhntasy than peacock tail?" should be a ringtone.) this episode would have been both completely dull and kind of pointless. Did anyone out there really think that Sweet P had a chance? Her departure this episode was as inevitable as Christian's overuse of the word "fierce." The real question was whether or not Fattie Chris would be able to win out over another contestant. There was no answer to that one, though, just a "You're both going to Fashion Week, but we're going to have a mini-collection-competition to squeeze another episode out of this season!" cop-out, in true Project Runway style.

Oh well, at least we got to see how Christian makes the hair-bird that perches atop his head: furious strategic flatironing.

Grade: B-

Stray Observations:

—My favorite part about Chris is that exhausted/exasperated look he gets on his face when he's interacting with Christian in the workroom. There was one such look this episode that lasted at least 30 seconds. You can almost hear him thinking, "Groan," as Christian flits about the room.

—Also, I enjoy watching Chris nap while sitting almost upright on the couch.

—"I gave the highest, honestly. Because I saw ahhhrt in theees peeese." You're so right, Roberto Cavalli. Please, never stop croaking out wisdom.

—"There's nothing more phenomenal and exciting in this country." Jillian, on the Met. You could tell that she meant it too, because she didn't blink once while saying it (or during the 45-minute field trip at the Met).

—Question for Santino: If fashion is art, and art is fashion, what is driving your Saturn to get to art & fashion? Sashioning?