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18 June 2007

On Losing the Human Race

I don't think I'm being a snot when I say that I am a reasonably intelligent and reasonably good looking person without any secret daddy issues. I should not be a loser. And yet. As my sister prepares to start nursing school, and my brother gets ready to apply for medical school, I am getting ready to fill out my welfare paperwork. I realize that some of this is beyond my control. The 2007 economy sucks balls, especially for someone re-entering the workforce. Butte County sucks especially so. But I have to allow that A LOT of the problem lies in the fact that I am the laziest. person. alive. I literally lack the words to describe the complete and utter absence of ambition/motivation in my life. Yeah, I want to be successful, but only in the sense that I don't like owing people money and I want my kid(s?) to be able to go to college. As far as a career? I can honestly tell you that I would be perfectly delighted to stay home, raise my children, attend PTA meetings, and tend a garden. I like doing laundry. I wouldn't get bored. I didn't get bored, this last 16 months. And I blame feminism for the fact that I'm stuck looking like a jackass for not wanting to go back to work full time when my son is still in diapers. Now mind, I WANT other people to be able to work to their hearts' content. But shouldn't a family with one parent in the home be an option too? No. Because feminism, ladies and gentlemen, changed the societal status quo in such a way that the only way to get by in this day and age is with a two-income family, and since I'm doubly screwed by being a single mom, I'm left paying somebody else to raise my kids when I would much rather do it myself and do it right.This is just one of the reasons that I was born in the WRONG era. For one thing, if I had been born anywhere in past several hundred years up until my generation, being pale and blonde and round was a feminine ideal of beauty. And for another thing, I don't want to go to the office for nine hours a day and wear a power suit. I don't even want to own a power suit.

In other news, Gabriel is using his potty sometimes. And considering the fact that he's only 17 months old, I think that sometimes is ABSOLUTELY GREAT. Especially since his main thing is pooping in the potty, and the fewer poopy diapers I have to deal with, the better.

This weekend is a Santa Cruz/SF/Bay Area weekend, and I'm pretty excited about seeing a few people I have not seen for a long. ass. time.