Despina Gurlides shares the lessons that she has learned and continues to learn on her spiritual path. Her passion is to support others on their journey to joy and freedom.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Intense times for those of us born around 1953: Second Saturn Return

I know it's been a couple of months since I've written. Lately I've been debating deleting this blog, or at least deleting all the posts up to this point and starting fresh. Much of what I wrote a couple of years ago--or even six months ago--isn't representative of who I am now. Intense self-inquiry and processing has caused some major shifts in my way of being. For one I don't feel as passionate about my beliefs. Beliefs keep changing; they keep being upgraded just like software. Ultimately all beliefs are limiting, but our computers need some kind of software to run.

In meditation last week, I asked why I've been doing such intense processing this last year. I mean, for a few decades now I've processed up the wazoo and have had several dark nights of the soul. But this last year--especially these last five months--have taken the cake. The answer that popped into my head was: You're going through a Second Saturn Return.

Oh, right. I remembered that Saturn Returns happen every 29 years. I'm 58 now, so that makes sense. When I started googling "Second Saturn Return" most of the information was very depressing. Apparently a lot of people die around 58-60 years old, if they don't pass this test. And if you flunked your first Saturn Return then you're in deep trouble by the time the second one comes around.

Well, after I freaked out for a while, I realized that this Second Saturn Return was a good thing. This passage marks the time of becoming a true elder, someone who has wisdom and can offer guidance to others. Well, that's what I've wanted to do for a long time, but it seems I wasn't ready. This time-out in Florida was Saturn's way of getting me to come back to my family and process some serious childhood issues that I wasn't even aware of. How can you be an elder when a raging five-year old is sabotaging you?

When Saturn returns a second time, you are being called to a new life. The first Saturn Return at 29 years of age, marked the beginning of being an adult. It was a challenging time for me. I went through my first divorce, moved to Manhattan, met my second husband, and got my first direct marketing job. All these intense changes set the stage for my being in the world, and succeeding in creating the material life I wanted at the time.

Now Saturn is returning to say that what I've done the last 30 years will no longer work. I'm being called to start offering my true gifts, not the marketable skills that I acquired along the way. When the time-out is over, there will be a new harvest--a life worth living. Already I feel the energy starting to move.

This Second Saturn Return is a generational thing. Everyone who was born around the time I was, is going through it. If you want to see if you're in it, there is a calculator: http://www.astrocal.co.uk/saturn-return.htm . If you're in it, the bad news is that you're going to be uncomfortable. But the good news is that this passage has an end to it, and it is calling you to a happier life.

1 comment:

Popi
said...

I am so glad you decided to start writing again. Don't stop. How else do you expect ignoramus, me to find out about concepts like Second Saturn return? It sounds scary, but I prefer to know. I am glad I got accidentally in your blog. I thought you had given it up.

About Me

Born in New York City of Greek immigrant parents, I spent the first four decades of my life passionately pursuing success. I obtained an MBA from New York University, moved up the corporate ladder, married an investment banker, and bought a coop in Manhattan and a house in the Hamptons. Having finally achieved the success I desired, I found myself depressed and miserable. Then it all fell apart, first when my husband asked for a divorce and then when I lost my job.
What followed next was a passionate pursuit of spirituality, which moved me to California where I met a spiritual teacher and followed him for six years--as a student and also working for his foundation. I committed to waking up, but became immersed in spiritual concepts and judgments. Finally, the spiritual community fell apart and I found myself back in the corporate world working for a high tech company, and finally finding balance in my life.
I find that I have a clear perspective on life--at least my life--that is both practical and spiritual, that I like to share. This is what feeds me and gives my life meaning and joy. I look forward to connecting with you at this level--of truth, freedom, and the heart.