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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I have God in my stomach

-A
father's note as noticed from his 4 year old little daughter.

It wasn't a regular
weekend. My wife and I were completely occupied with meetings and local
traveling for two days and came to rest only by 12 midnight on the Sunday
night. Our 4 year old daughter was with us for most part and she too got to sleep only by that time. She got to go to school by 9.00am the next day.

12th Jan 2015: We got to wake up by
7.30am atleast to set things right for the day. It didn't happen so. It was
8.00am when we woke up. We could wake her up by 8.30am and she wanted to watch
the rhymes video which she has asked me to buy the previous day. She was still
sleepy but demanding for the video. We haven't shown her nursery video's for
long time now. I knew it wouldn't be possible for me to win over her on the
video issue. I allowed her to watch. We weren't sure of sending her to school
and we decided not to send her to school that day.

By 9.00am, may be
her biological clock indicated her that she should be at school. On a casual
note, we indicated her that the kids at School might be preparing for Pongal
celebration. May be she realized what she is missing on. May be, she also
realized that she should have woken up early to be at School. She started
crying, slowly but loudly. It wasn't a regular cry demanding something. It was
the sound of a genuine guilt from the heart. Her guilt couldn't settle down
soon.

She blames us in
many situations where we miss to buy her
something. Today, she did not blame us.
She was definitely blaming herself. She couldn't stop crying. I offered
a hug. She rejected it. Instead, she opted to move a little away from us. She
moved to another room. She kneeled down and bent down. With her heads touching
the ground, she wept for minutes together. Then, she kneeled towards the Pooja
shelf. The shelf was open and we have different idols of God. She folded her hands. She
stopped weeping for a second. She then stood up, folded her hands and started
weeping again. She was in that posture for a lengthy few seconds. I watched all
these without she noticing me. I managed to take a silent picture. Is she
praying to God? I am not sure if she knows about praying to God. Her routine
with God is just about stopping by and wearing the scared ash on the forehead.
Occasionally singing a sloka or touching our feet for blessings. I am not sure
if she knows God as someone who could heal her, help her.

She came back to the
hall and then we could convince her with food. She was emotionally down for
having missed her school. She turned back to silence in about an hour. I was
still curious to know of her interaction with God. I asked her once "What
did you do at the Pooja Shelf?". She opted not to respond. I did not
insist. I know that she will let me know on another occasion.

I left for office
before she could completely recover. I requested my wife to ask her about what
she did at the Pooja shelf. She asked it
to her post noon when she was completely recovered. The little one did not respond.
My wife too did not insist. Post noon, her day went on as cheerful as any other
day.

I met her again in
the evening. We were talking about something and happened to be in the same
Pooja shelf room. I sat at the same position where she sat in the morning. She
sat next to me. I wanted to make an attempt to get my question clarified. I
decided to ask her the same question one last time. "What did you do at
the Pooja Shelf today morning?"

This time, I was
lucky. She has recovered well to talk about it. She said "I prayed to God.
I asked God to take me to School. I also asked God to wake me up early." I
was confused, how could a four year old end up to God as her last resort. May
be the issue of missing School on the day before Pongal celebration is so
important to her. May be the most important thing in her life at that moment.

I asked a follow up
question "What did God say?" She said "God said OK. God also
prayed back at me." I asked "Why did the God pray at you?". She said " I have God
in my stomach. Hence God prayed to me. We all have a God in our
stomach. God prays at it". I said
OK and discontinued that conversation.

I am still amazed at
how could a little girl be so excited about School. May be, her school follows
Montessori methods which keeps the children first and respects them. She can't
do injustice to the school by missing it. May be she misses all her friends and fun.

I am still amazed at
how could a little girl have her own understanding of the concept of God. She
knows that God isn't a fairy tale. If so, she should have prayed to Chotta
Bheem and not to God.

I realized kids do have strong
emotions and a stronger understanding of reality. It is just that adults
couldn't see their reality as real. Can we understand what she meant as "I have God in my stomach."?

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About Me

My introduction gets edited every month and completely changes every 2 years. Currently working for a large e-commerce company. Surviving in Chennai bearing all its pollution. Still a Citizen of India surviving all the political non sense around. Still retaining some sense in the brain withstanding all the non sense the society is taken through. Now, you can make it out about me. Currently!