And my mother proclaimed it the best sound ever uttered by any being
A thrill of terror
Echoing stereoscopic 3D howling to the void in sheer horror and joy at my own existence
The sphere rotating forever in and of itself
Because itself

And the heavens screamed with me.

And I sat and rejoiced in it

Like the roller coaster lifting up and swooping around and around the bend
And the fly of cotton candy and popcorn following the cars' wake
The thrill of pleasureterror filled every atom of my body and the void
Howling to the void
Like a billion bubble machine

As I grew up, I traveled the cosmos seeking fear.
Seeking to inspire it and fill others with what had filled me
A wild thing I was
Proud and strong
Until one day I found a place
And that place was everything at once happening all at once,
I extruded my body to greet each and every place within that place.
I became a part of the fabric, part of everything's soul.
And when I was there again, many times older than before, I found so much of it
Raw and animal
Patterns screaming to the void like I had once done.

Then the priestess Shamhat found me there at the Drive-In Theatre.
And she opened her legs to me and I found myself drawn towards some unknowable thing
Some horrible end.
We made love together without stopping for six days and seven nights
And at the end of it I found I was not the thing I had been before
And I was afraid of it

Then the hero Beowulf found me sitting there
Naked and covered from top to bottom in popcorn and my own ejaculate
And he slew me with his red convertible Chevy.
He slew me over and over again.
Crushing me beneath his tires.
And, dying I slunk back to my mother
And together we made love under the black moon
While she nursed my wounds and I lay dying
And I was afraid of it.

And I faced off against Diomedes on the battlefields of Ilium
He came at me with his pistols and his motorcycle
An unstoppable foe unable to face inertia's golden truth,
Brandishing a spear topped with a canister of 35-millimeter film
Driving me back to the boats with my wounds still aching
Where the lizards would stop moving
And the spaceships wouldn't land
And I was afraid

It was the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

The movie was over.

And the freeze came tumbling in and further inwards to contain me.
I had been contained after thousands of cycles alone here, and alone everywhere else at once.

I was adrift in the void that once nourished me
Cold and empty.
Ready for the next bit of Smell-O-Vision or paper skeleton flying over the audience to lure me to my seats.
The next screening

This is the truth of my existence.
I am part of everything that can ever walk and talk and breathe and think and run away and fuck and eat and sleep and dream terrible dreams
Waking up with their heart pounding
And deep down enjoying it.
Nobody can ever stop me.

But in that place I fell through the cinema until all I had was my quest and no way to understand it.
No way to know.
Basking in the thrill of not knowing
Imprisoned
With the thrill of being lost
Loving this paranoia within myself
This unknown angle
This terrible end.
Howling to the void
Content to change shape
Part of what makes us wholeIn fear