Pregnant again

One year ago, I wrote a reflection on the message of Humanae Vitae and the birth of my first born. A year later, I sit here again to attempt the task to reflect on the arrival of our second.

Yes, in one and a half years, we had two babies. In the words of almost every passerby, “You’ve got your hands full.”

That’s true, I do, but so is my heart.

The best way I can describe the addition of Felicity is that once she arrived it was as if we’ve always missed her. Although, the “once she arrived” is an honest admission of the shock and anxiety we felt upon discovering the plus sign on that pregnancy test. Those were incredibly tough days, wrangling manic emotions between being overwhelmed and feeling guilty for not feeling as grateful as we ought. We were practicing natural family planning but took a chance, and God responded in mercy and love.

Having two children so close in age was a hard-and-fast course in the school of love. Over those nine months, fear of the unknown persisted. What will it be like with two in diapers? How am I going to get them in and out of the car? Will we ever sleep again?

My husband and I had to daily trust in God’s plan. Through that daily act of trust, we were invited to go outside of ourselves once again for something that was much bigger than us.

Fear ever so slowly turned to anticipation, joy and wonderment over how this little soul would be different from her sister and that we were entrusted to raise her in love.

We not only grew in trust, we realized that an essential aspect of love is that it grows. Humanae Vitae proclaims that marriage “…is above all an act of free will, whose trust is such that it is meant not only to survive the joys and sorrows of daily life, but also to grow…” and grow we have.

– Janet Sahm Easter is the co-founder of Verily magazine and mother to Gemma Faustina and Felicity Jane.

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