COMPLETE! This starts out as a romance between two boys at a boarding school (yes, BOYS! that means slash) in Ontario, Canada. Their love progresses gradually and eventually turns into a tender and beautiful affair. But nothing lasts forever ...

Author's Note:
Hi everyone. I'm new here, as
you may or may not have already guessed.
This is something I have been working on for a while and I hope you all
like it! Just to let people know, this
first chapter is a bit on the smutty side and if you're not into that sort of
thing, don't give up on me! After this
chapter, things are a lot tamer and more into the angst, drama, etc.- you know,
all that fun stuff! So, hope you enjoy
and PLEASE R&R!!!

Chapter 1

Gregory

Even now, when we touch, I feel the electricity of the first
time. It's not all like at first but in
some ways, that's good. When we started
to be intimate, we were both so nervous and tentative … but so incredibly
turned on at the same time. Thirteen-year-old
boys are notorious for their raging hormones and Conner and I were no
different. We wanted it so badly and
lucky for us, we got it from each other whenever we wished.

Now, of course, years later the nervous energy of the early
days is gone and it is now replaced with a comfortable familiar intimacy. We know every inch of each other so well and
yet it's like falling in love all over again every time. Each encounter is an experience of
rediscovery.

Sometimes I wish I could share this joy with the world. I wish I could tell them about this amazing
love Conner and I share. But the truth
is, the fact that this is our own secret makes our love even more special. And hot.

One time in ninth grade, after hockey I was in the middle of
changing with all the guys around me. I
was on my way to the showers, wearing nothing but a towel. Conner and I were the team captains and were
asked by our coach, as we often were, to go into the change-room for the last
half-hour of practice to discuss plays.
Let's just say that Conner and I did more than discuss plays. On this particular occasion, I glanced at a
bench as I headed to the showers. A
bench on which Conner and I just happened to have had sex about five minutes
earlier. I felt myself immediately
harden and it took all mental power and determination to calm down. I tried to think of the most undesirable
thing possible … Professor Slattery's history class … urgh. It didn't help when two seconds later I
accidentally chose the shower right next to Conner where he was washing his
hair and laughing his beautiful deep, rumbling laugh at something Peterson
across the room had said. He glanced at
me as I removed my towel and winked at me.
I rolled my eyes at him and whispered under my breath, "Don't you
start. I'm having enough trouble as it
is in this room full of people without you being completely sexy."

Conner laughed but respected my needs and turned back to
Peterson.

Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to go home one
Christmas and in the middle of the big family banquet with every relative we
have all around, I'll just say, "By the way, everyone: I'm gay. Yeah, I've known it for years. Actually, you remember my friend Conner
Smith? Well, the two of us have been
lovers for about five years now. Just
thought I'd let you know."

I smile as I imagine their reactions. All of those people, sitting around in their
fancy clothes, eating their fancy food, talking about their perfect lives and
all their money and how they're better than everyone … and then I would shock
them all. I could laugh out loud.

But no. Of course
not. I could never do it. The repercussions would be …
disastrous. I could say good-bye to
everything I have been promised in the future and good-bye to everything I have
now … including Conner. No, things are
perfect the way they are. Of course I
am going to wonder, what if? It's only
natural. But then I wake up and look
around and realize that there is no reason to throw everything I have down the
drain … I am popular with students and teachers alike, I am captain of the
school hockey team, I am from one of the wealthiest families in a school full
of money, I am going to own the family fortune in a few years, as soon as I
have an education most can only dream of, and I am in love and free to be in a
relationship with my love … as long as no one knows.

Conner

We are falling on top of each other as we clumsily stumble
into our dorm room. Greg slams the door
shut and quickly locks it and I am already pinning him against it. I press my lips hard against his and he
responds immediately, kissing back passionately. Soon, we lose ourselves in each other. School is forgotten, hockey is forgotten, family is forgotten,
friends are forgotten. Only our love
exists. Only we exist and we exist as
one.

Oh God, I love him so much.
I don't only love him at times like these, I love him all the time. I love him eight days a week, I love him
like the roses need the rain, I love him straight from the heart. Shit, Greg's right- I am corny. But it's all true. He is the only one who knows me, who understands me, and who
despite that, still loves me unconditionally.

Sometimes I wish we could run around and scream our love to
the world, and kiss and hold hands in public, and go to school formals together
but to be honest, we are both still incredibly turned on by the forbidden
nature of our relationship. Sometimes
it's exciting to have our little secret together. Exchanging love notes in class, skipping class to make out in the
McKenzie building toilet that no one uses, having sex at night in our room …
it's all so amazing. When coach asks
the team captains to go into the change room during practice to discuss plays,
we both have to force ourselves not to burst out grinning. Greg and I will just nod quietly and make
our way to the empty room with a lock where we have twenty minutes to do as we
please and no one has any idea about it.

I wish we could tell people but I know that that is
impossible. Not so impossible for me,
impossible for Greg. Greg has more at
stake than I do and though I desperately wish we did not have to go through all
the things that we did, I understood. I
understood that we had to keep our love a secret. I understood that I had to keep the one joy of my life hidden.

Gregory

It's ten o'clock and Conner and I have finally tackled our
homework. Conner is at his desk across
the room, typing madly away on his computer wearing boxers and a t-shirt. I am lying naked on my stomach across our
pushed together dorm beds, sorting through my history notes. The exam is not for two weeks but it's never
too early to start studying. In fact, I
was cursing myself for not starting to study from day one; that way, I would
have nothing to worry about now. Good
job, Greg. You're going to fuck up your
life because you were too horny to study for a stupid history exam. And now you're talking to yourself-

My inner dialogue is suddenly interrupted as the constant
clickety-clack from Conner's side of the room stops. I glance up and he is staring at me from behind his laptop.

"Why don't you put some clothes on?"

I grin coyly at him.
"Why should I?"

"Because you're distracting me and this damn paper is due
tomorrow."

I shrug. "Maybe you
should've thought of that when we were assigned that paper a month ago."

He just continues to stare at me, the ghost of a smile
playing on his lips.

I shrug again and look back at my notes. I'll admit that the look Conner was giving
me was very tempting but I was not going to encourage his procrastination
tendencies.

"Your ass is hot."

I snort. "Do your
homework, Smith."

"Put some clothes on, Taylor."

"You'd think," I say, rising to a sitting position, "that a
child-genius like yourself could get through an English paper without so much
trouble."

"Well, I'm not a child anymore and when I was a child, I
didn't have your beautiful naked body lying a few feet away, just asking to be
made love to."

I roll my eyes.
"Doesn't your dick have an on/off switch or something? It would be very useful."

His lips begin to curl slowly into a grin. "It used to," he says, rising from his chair
and starting to prowl toward me, "but since the moment I met you, it's been
broken. It's been stuck on 'on' for
five years now, baby."

I chuckle and lean back onto the pillows behind me, propping
myself up on my elbows. "What a line."

He is standing over me now, gazing at me with eyes full of
lust. "What a guy," he murmurs.

Our studies are forgotten as he tackles me on the creaking
bed.

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