If I do kill myself will I go to heaven?

i read a conversation of yours with someone having suicidal thoughts who was not a christian and i am a christian and i feel the same things that person did and all i wanna know is if i do kill myself will i go to heaven?

My response is in Green:

You know that is a question I am not sure I can answer. There are a lot of things involved in that question. I have written about some of them on my site: "Will God forgive suicide?" You might also want to read another page I wrote about why many people think of suicide. "Why Satan wants you dead!"

I will tell you that I don't have the answer, but I do have enough concerns that I would advise you not to kill yourself. The article I wrote will help, but let me address a couple things right here. First we are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our hearts and all our minds. Now to love someone is to put them before yourself, right? Well if God wanted you dead you would not take another breath. If you take another breath then it is because God wants you alive. If He wants you alive then He must have a purpose for your life. If you kill yourself you are telling God that you don't care what He wants, you want what you want. In fact you are telling Him you want to be God of your life. Now if that is what you are telling Him by killing yourself... well see my point? You would also be telling Him that you don't believe He can help you through this rough time.

Let me tell you something. We all feel like dying sometimes. I know I do. I would love nothing better than for Jesus to come back before I finish this message to you and take me home, but if He doesn't then I will keep on keeping on. You need to ask yourself what the purpose of this life is. Is it to be happy, is it to be rich and have kids? Or is it so that we can become more like Christ, and lead others to the knowledge of Him so that they too can spend eternity with Him?

Jesus left His home in heaven to come to this earth as a human, to suffer and die for our sins. That is how much God loves us, that He was willing to die for us. Shouldn't we be willing to live for Him? He will help you, I know it.

So as I said I can't answer your question, only God can. Why not ask Him? Ask Him if He will forgive you. In fact why not ask Him to take your life. As I said if He wants you in heaven there is nothing you can do not to go, but if He doesn't want you...

You know who wants you dead? Satan. You need to fight this and ask God to help you. Satan wants you dead because that way you can't witness to anyone else and everyone who hears about your death who is not a Christian will not want to be one if your God was not even powerful enough to help you and keep you from committing suicide. And maybe just maybe Satan can even keep you out of heaven if you kill yourself. It is just not worth the risk.

I know God can and will help you, but you have to look to Him and accept His decisions for your life and your death.

I will pray for you, now you need to pray too. Tell God how you feel, get it off your chest like you were talking to your best friend, after all that is who He wants to be. Be honest with Him, and then ask Him to help you put Him first.

I have been there and done that. God has changed my life. I don't feel I have much to offer, but what little bit I have I am willing to give to Him.