Tuesday, June 15, 2010

conclusion: a very special guest blog

As you may remember from Jacky's most recent epic guest blog - we last left off our favorite drunk mess with one boy in the bed and one boy at the window. Here's how the tale ends:

Crap. I had to let him inside. I open the door…”Tim….what are you doing here??” He walks into my living room, looks at me, looks at this other random giant man in his boxers standing there and just says…”Oh. Shit. Sorry….”

I had absolutely no clue where to go from here. Rob (thankfully) gives me some space and goes back into my room…I then proceed to make Tim a bed on my couch. I brought him a pillow, a blanket, a glass of water. Not. Awkward. At. All. He’s drunk…and apologizing profusely. “Just go to bed Tim, we will talk about this in the morning….” In reality, he probably should have been the one who was angry with me…ya know, for that whole walking in on me and another man/potentially thinking I’m a giant whore thing. But nope, Tim was totally ok….Rob, on the other hand…Rob who I had only met in person once before was PISSED.

We then had to stay up for over an hour having some awkward “relationship” talk…about how he cared about me and he never thought I was the “type of girl who has men ringing her doorbell in the middle of the night” (Newsflash: you don’t actually know me at all Rob!) I had explained the Tim situation, and, at that point, was just trying to placate him/get him to go to sleep…”Just pretend that never happened Rob,” “I’m sorry…just ignore him out there.” This might have been easier if we couldn’t actually hear Tim snoring from my bedroom….and then hear him peeing when he got up to use the bathroom…. At one point, Rob was so upset he actually wanted to go out in the living room and sleep on the other couch. FALSE. It was actually quite comical. Unfortunately, I was the only one who found the humor in the situation….

Eventually I just went to sleep, leaving him lying there. Awake. Counting how many green blinks there are on the fire alarm until it goes red. (Apparently it’s 59 in case you were wondering)

This was irony at its best. This night was the first time, since Tim and I began our “friendship” that I had another man in my bed…. And it was also the very first time that Tim had ever shown up late at night, unannounced. Needless to say, Rob and I only spoke a few times more times after this debacle….And, luckily for your blog Jessie, I am destined to be single forever.