Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The ultimate moral dilemma

A true story, unfortunately

Let's set the scene, it is around 9:30 pm, at a pitch dark and deserted
bench at the center of my college's campus. I am chatting with my friend as he
takes a cigarette
break from our monotonous,
weekly work at the school newspaper (AKA my only income). On about his fifth
drag, I spot something shiny and gold hanging from the back side of the
bench. Then I realize exactly what I am looking at - a genuine Marc Jacobs
quilted bag, just hanging there all alone in the silence of the night. In
utter disbelief
that any girl in the universe would have the gall to leave such a precious
artifact hanging on a bench, I had to open it up and find the culprit's I.D. Unfortunately,
or fortunately
depending on which way you look at it, there was nothing inside of the bag
other than a pair of spanx and some tampons.

I attend a small liberal arts college where the tuition hovers around a
little more than 50k, and the heir to the Walgreens
fortune along with a handful of Italian and Middle Eastern princes make up just
some of the striking student body. Needless to say, if you go to my school you
are either extremely wealthy, or at least decently intelligent
and here on a hefty scholarship (like me).

I kept thinking to myself, "how could anyone who appreciates this bag
as much as I do, just leave it here like a piece of garbage?" My fellow
fashion enthusiast friend from work concurred. We stayed on that bench for
what felt like hours, just waiting for the unappreciative girl to come running
and pry the purse from our now drool soaked hands. No one so much as walked
by. It was the perfect opportunity, and turning out to be the perfect crime.

We brought the bag into our office's bathroom and poured it's contents of the
bag onto the counter. Still nothing but tampons and spanx,
except tempting us even more, the authentic Marc Jacobs care tag still in the
crisp white Marc Jacobs envelope proving to us that this was no knockoff. We
were then faced with the ultimate moral dilemma of whether to have me keep the
bag, or turn it into the school. In my twenty one years of life, I have never
been faced with such a heart wrenching decision. Choosing a college wasn't even this difficult. Obviously, keeping this $675 bag
would be stealing and stealing is morally corrupt and against all that I stand for. However, it
was more likely than not that whoever this bag belonged to was already on the
phone to her daddy asking for his Amex card number to buy a new one. It
was also glaringly apparent to us that the owner of this bag had proved to be
unworthy of its possession
considering, THEY LEFT IT ON A BENCH.

Without the slightest inclination as to who it belonged to, I
shoved the Marc Jacobs bag in my tote and returned to work. I would never be
able to afford something like this on the minimum wage salary
that I earn, and at the moment I have never wanted anything so bad in my life.
I texted
my friends and asked for their opinions on the matter, but got no were because all
of them felt just as torn as I did.

When I got back to my apartment that night, the guilt began to sink in and my stomach was in knots. I knew I was in deep when I
could no longer make my usual judgmental comments about people on trashy reality T.V,
because I felt I, myself had stooped to their amoral level. I was a glorified purse theif. It was not a good feeling.
I could barely sleep, and upon waking up I decided I needed to try and return
this gorgeous Marc Jacobs bag, because I knew it could never truly be mine. My roommate and I agreed the best
course of action would be to post signs claiming that a handbag was found along with my phone number. Best case scenario, no one calls and I get to keep the bag, guilt free.

As I obessivly checked my phone by the minute, hoping and wishing not to receive
any "OMG
you found my bag!" texts, by 6:30 the next day, sure enough, the owner of
the abandoned Marc Jacobs bag was no longer a mystery. Who knew being a good
person would feel so utterly terrible? I returned the bag to a beautiful,
designer garb adorned girl with perfect skin and glowing blue eyes. The feeling was bitter
sweet, but at least I know my karma bank account was now well into the millions
because of this one. I plan on buying several lottery tickets within the next coming week.

1 comment:

So Awesome of you to have returned the bag !!! I would have done the same. Unfortunately there are people who dont appreciate expensive things but all in all one day you will be able to afford that Marc Jacobs bag *fingers crossed* so you did the right thing.

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I'm Jamie - a senior in undergrad, editor of the school paper, and aspiring lawyer.

When I was younger, my beloved and fashion-savy grandmother would tell me I looked sharp whenever I had a nice outfit on. The term "sharp" can be defined as, "Keen in intellect or perception" according to The Merriam-Webster dictionary. I cannot think of a more fitting compliment for any outfit, or overall sense of style for that matter.

Clothing, fashion, and beauty are a tremendous part of my life. This blog serves as my very own platform to post about my personal style and a host of other related (and sometimes unrelated) topics that remain as sharp as they are stylish.