January 24, 2015

One week from today I am marrying the love of my life, best friend and co-parenting conspirator @timmoshenko. We have decided on a small ceremony (itsy bitsy, really) in Newport Beach. We will keep you all posted with photos and Facebook updates about our nuptials. You can also search the hashtags: ‪#‎TimandSuz‬‪#‎bestdayever

December 30, 2014

If you have gone through a divorce, you know how life-shattering the process can be. It’s not only for you; if you have kids, it can be equally devastating to them. Though I’m not a professional counselor, I do have the wisdom of someone who has come through a divorce and lived to tell about it.

Getting through my divorce was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I made a promise to myself at the very beginning that I would successfully recover. I didn’t want to be one of those women who 20 years after her divorce still complains, moans and talks about it to anyone who will listen. I vowed to myself that I would be happy again, not just for me, but more importantly for my kids.

I believe I have succeeded in that goal! I think that makes me as qualified as anyone to pass out advice about what I have learned over the past four years.

The following are my seven best pieces of advice for anyone facing a divorce:

1. Seek out support.

You are going to need someone to talk to. You will feel tempted to chat with anyone who will listen about your divorce – barista, co-worker, Target employees. Resist that urge. I mean this with a heart full of compassion for you: They don’t care.

I had a few key friends who didn’t stop taking my call when they saw my name pop up. They would let me vent. They would let me cry. They were supportive of me and steered clear of any ex-spouse bashing. You want to find friends who will lift you up, not ones who will jump on the “Isn’t he the worst!” bandwagon. I never would have recovered without their support.

I also found it helpful to join a support group. Saddleback Church’s DivorceCare meets every Friday night (It’s a 13-week program) at its Lake Forest campus. The program includes a workbook and weekly meetings that allow for breakout discussion groups with other people going through divorces. It was a great way for me to get advice and support in a safe environment.

2. Keep your kids out of the drama.

It baffles me when I hear stories of parents who share the dirty details of their divorce with their young children. (This includes talking about the divorce within earshot of the little ones.) It’s hurting these poor kids all over again. I’ve had parents say to me it isn’t possible to leave them out of the line of fire of a divorce, but it is possible. My kids haven’t ever heard me say a negative word about their dad. They don’t know the specifics about our divorce (or marriage) and don’t need to. Find a friend to talk to (see No. 1).

3. Find a good distraction.

This might seem like a frivolous piece of advice, but it is key to a successful recovery. Find something that makes you happy and do it. You will have an enormous amount of extra time on your hands now that you don’t have your kids 100 percent of the time. Sometimes the gap left by the lack of family activity can be downright depressing. Don’t fill up your time by stalking your ex-spouse on Facebook or telling yet another stranger your sob story: Find something to do!

I joke that Pinterest and the “Downton Abbey” TV series got me through my divorce. You don’t have to start a nonprofit or complete an Ironman; just find something that gets your mind off the chaos that runs rampant during a divorce.

4. Get financial advice.

One of the biggest changes that occur in a divorce is your financial situation. Be proactive and get some guidance. I found someone new to prepare my taxes, and I completed Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. These two simple steps put me on a path to financial stability.

5. Resist the urge to vent on social media.

We all know people who write long venom-filled tirades about their ex-spouse on Facebook – we have all probably blocked a few. Or then there are the passive-aggressive vague statements that are meant to draw sympathy. I believe this kind of behavior reveals more about the character of the person posting nasty things about their ex-spouse than it does about the ex-spouse. Your attorneys will tell you for different reasons not to do this, but I’m talking from a social side: no one wants to hear it. Step away from your keyboard and call a trusted friend (see No. 1).

6. Don’t engage in text wars.

Divorce makes typically rational, kind people say and do things they wouldn’t even think to do or say under normal conditions. It is a crazy-making machine. For your own peace of mind, resist the temptation to drag in every issue you ever had with your ex-spouse to answer a simple question about when the kids had their last shower.

And on the other end, if your ex-spouse wants to send you long texts (or emails) about how you did them wrong, simply don’t respond. It does absolutely no good to “set things straight” and will just leave you furiously texting in line at the grocery store or at an Angels game and will never accomplish anything.

I had a divorced friend who told me she created a mental file in her mind called “And that’s why we’re not married anymore.” Every time her ex-spouse did or said something that made her angry or upset she would file it away there. It’s a good practice of just letting things go.

7. Pray for your ex-spouse.

This is hands down the hardest thing to do on my list. I remember when a friend first told me to do this. I thought he was out of his mind. He assured me it would help me recover (as he did from his divorce). Practicing this every day will eventually give you peace and let you move on with your life.

If you’re not a religious person, you can still get the benefits of this by wishing the best for your ex-spouse. At first you might do it through clinched teeth and with an angry heart, but eventually, over time, it heals you to be positive. If you have kids, in the end, you will need this peace to pass on to them.

December 19, 2014

1.) Eggplant Parmesan at the Andrea Restaurant at Pelican Hill: This dish is unique, fresh and, not that this really counts, but downright adorable. Served in its own cast iron skillet, you'll find yourself scrapping the sides to get ever bit of caramelized cheese and I would not judge you for that. Probably one of the best things I've ever eaten, like EVER. The Andrea, unsure on price.

2.) Togarashi Edamame Beans at The Lazy Dog Cafe. I never thought I'd have such strong feelings about a bean, but these aren't just any beans. Chef Gabe has coated them with chili flakes, loads of ginger and garlic and then the deal-sealer, orange peels. I honestly can say this dish one of my all-time favorites. All that plus it's fun to say: Togarashi Edamame! Try it. Lazy Dog Cafe, $4.50

3.) Roast Beef Sandwich at "A" Market. You might miss A Market if you're speeding down PCH, it's at that corner, the one where you turn from PCH to Newport Ave, right next to A Restaurant. You have to stop in to the quaint and sophisticated market and try their Roast Beef Sandwich. Everything meticulously placed between the Ciabata is fresh and tasty. The horseradish Havarti cheese is spicy, the watercress is cripy, the tomato is cold and juice and the roast beef is just heartbreakingly peppery and tender. It's a "I don't even like roast beef, but I love this sandwich" kind of roast beef sandwich. A Market, $8.25

4.) Blacked Chicken Taco at Taco Mesa. One of my favorite places to eat in OC is Taco Mesa. With four funky, friendly eateries around the county you've probably tried it at least once. Sometime I wake up craving their blackened chicken tacos and have to track one down. "Healthy Authentic" is their motto and this little number exemplifies it. It's a mystery what their blend of cheeses is or how they make their white cream sauce, but couple them up with the cabbage relish and you're set for the best taco ever. Taco Mesa, $3.

5.) Crispy Tofu Salad at Tangaroa Terrace at The Disneyland Hotel. If you’re looking for a healthy meal while visiting Disneyland Resort, look no further than Tangaroa Terrace at the Disneyland Hotel. Chef Toby Hollis has put together a creative, eclectic menu of “fast casual” delights and my favorite is The Crispy Tofu Salad. The moment I tasted the creamy goodness of those little tofu balls plopped on top of a mixed with the crunchy veggies, I was hooked. Sit out on the patio and enjoy the salad or you can bring it over to Trader Sam's Enchanted Tiki Bar and order a cocktail to sip with your salad. Tangaroa Terrace, Crispy Tofu Salad, $8.49

December 17, 2014

I knew it was coming. My boyfriend, Tim, and I have been dating for over a year. Both of us have two kids each – his are ages 6 and 8, and mine are 10 and 13. We began the process of “blending” our families at Christmastime last year and things have gone as well as anyone could hope.

So, I knew it was coming. We talked about getting married from almost the very start. We had talked to the kids about it. We had talked to our pastor about it. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know when.

I had my hunches. Maybe on Thanksgiving when all of our families were together. Maybe on my birthday, Dec. 13 (This year it falls on 12/13/14. That would be memorable.) Or maybe on our trip to the Grand Canyon. Standing on the rim of one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World seemed like a perfect place to make this almost-as-awe-inspiring wonder official.

So I didn’t suspect a thing when I received a text from a mutual friend inviting our kids to a Christmas craft party on a Saturday afternoon. It sounded like fun. No parents allowed – just the kids. Tim made plans for us to have an early dinner in downtown Huntington Beach and then suggested a walk on the beach. Still, I wasn’t suspicious anything life-changing was about to happen.

As we walked on the beach of my hometown, the autumn light lit the pier. The sand was scattered with sunbathers cheating the calendar by getting in one last day of summer. I looked up and I saw something falling from the pier. They were rose petals and our kids were the ones dropping them down to the sand. Yes, that was my 13-year-old jumping up and down holding a sign with a big heart. Yes, that was Tim’s daughter scattering the last of the petals. (Which, by the way, isn’t allowed. A big voice boomed from the lifeguard tower: “Please stop throwing things from the pier.”)

“What’s going on?” I asked Tim. He was suddenly serious, turning to face me he pulled out a plain white piece of paper that had his proposal typed out so he wouldn’t forget anything.

People on the beach started to clue in to what was happening. Cellphones began to pop out of pockets and beach bags as total strangers took pictures as Tim got on one knee. The pier railing was lining up with people watching our intimate moment (#totalstrangersgettingengaged). When I said yes, our impromptu audience burst into applause and cheers.

Our kids rushed down from the pier to the sand to meet us. The kids were smiling, then the younger two quickly blurted out “We really have to go to the bathroom!”

BAM!

And so begins our journey as a blended family. The most romantic moment of our life followed by a frantic search for a public bathroom at the Huntington Beach Pier. Immeasurable sweetness followed by chaos. A picture-perfect scene followed by reality.

Tim and I laughed as we ran across the sand with the kids. I told him, “This is it! The life is our family life. This is part of it!”

Since then, when I tell someone I’m engaged, they quickly follow a congratulations with, “When’s the date?” After that, if they’re a woman, the next question is, “Are you going to change your name?”

Isn’t that an odd question? In some cases it almost feels like a challenge. When I answer with a fast “Yes,” I have been surprised by the amount of negative comments I have received. Blunt opinions. Straight out of dooms day predictions.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” one man told me. A colleague of mine told me, “As a women and a professional I feel I have to tell you I think you’re making a HUGE mistake.”

The common theme from these anti-name-changers is I have worked hard to create a name for myself in my career as a writer, editor and blogger. That “Suzanne Broughton” is my brand, my identity, and without it people who want to find me will wander around aimlessly on the Internet, Googling it until they throw their computer out the window in frustration. My new name will render me as a search-engine loser and that quite possibly my own mother would walk by me and not even recognize me. In very uncertain terms these people think my name is “me.”

I don’t agree.

In the words of one of my favorite women, Audrey Hepburn, “If I get married, I want to be very married.” To me, my marriage is more important than my brand. My union with my future husband is a bond that is not only biblical, but one that I embrace happily and with a heart full of gratitude.

When thought of in that way, it seems silly to let the admitted pain of changing my Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest handles. Don’t get me wrong, I did search my new name to make sure it’s open as a .com. And it is, but even if I had to go .net, I would still change it.

Besides, that is not giving you (the reader) very much credit. I think you can remember me, right? My married name will be Suzanne Moshenko. Let’s say it together: Mo-shen-ko. It’s kind of fun to say. Mo-shen--ko.

December 02, 2014

We have a strict no PG-13 movies in our house prior to turing the big 1-3. (Read my column about that here.) Luckily there is no shortage of great movies that are appropriate for younger children. One genre we enjoy the most in our house is sports movies. These have a double dose of goodness because they are great movies and also inspire kids to be more active.

My daughter wanted to surf before seeing Soul Surfer, but after it she was obsessed. Now she's in lessons. In making this list two things came to mind, how many great sports movies there are for kids and how few of them had girls as the athlete. Out of nine, only two feature girls.

My son had zero interest in sports. None. Nada. I tried and tried to get him to throw the ball around, kick the soccer ball or take swim lessons. You know what persuaded him? Movies. The Sandlot to be specific.

This is my list of great sports movies for kids--up to about 19-years-old or so.

1.) The Sandlot: One of my favorite movies. I couldn't wait until my kids were old enough to watch it. It's the story of new kid "Scotty Smalls" who doesn't know how to play baseball until he's introduced to the sandlot in his new hood and the eight kids who play there. It's a great movie for boys--lots of harmless and creative name calling, a treehouse, baseball playing and of course, The Beast.

Be warned there are a few bad words, but nothing too shocking. Made in 1992 and set in 1962, this movie was ROTFL before ROTFL was invented. A must-see for all boys...and my daughter loves it, too.

2.) Miracle: The story the USA Olympic hockey teams unbelievable win against the soviets in the 1980 Olympics. Inspirational, truthful and one of the best lines in coaching history, "Great moments are born from great opportunity." I loved this movie and so will your kids.

3.) Kicking and Screaming: What do you get when you make Will Ferrell the coach of a youth soccer team--a pretty funny movie. Your kids will love how outrageous Ferrell gets with his team. There are some classic lines in this movie as well. The one delivered to Mike Ditka is quoted often in our house--"Bye-Bye juicebox!"

4.) The Might Ducks (series): My kids just watched the entire series of Mighty Ducks movies the last few weeks and like them all. I could hear them while I was in the other room cracking up and having a good time. Definitely put all three on your summer movie-watching list. (Couple girls on the team, too!)

"Ducks fly together!" Ha, great speech by a coach...

5.) The Next Karate Kid: Not the best in the series, but my daughter liked this movie. It possibly made the list simply because it featured a female athlete. I probably would have put League of Their Own in here (I love that movie), but my daughter couldn't make it through 1/2 hour of it--too many adults and mature jokes.

6.) Breaking Away: This movie is a personal choice for me. My brother was enormously influenced by this film and still, to this day, rides his bike daily wearing a white tank and bicycle shorts. It's an older movie--made in 1979 and nominated for an Oscar that year. The movie is about nineteen-year-old who lives in Bloomington Indiana and is obsessed with cycling and all-things Italian. The relationship between his dad and him is classic. One of the best. Well-worth hunting down and watching with your older kids.

7.) Soul Surfer: Have you seen Soul Surfer yet? Bethany Hamilton is my daughter's hero. I was a little afraid that after we saw the movie, the shark scene would scare my daughter away from surfing, but it didn't. What is so unique about this movie is how honestly they portray Bethany's love of the sport of surfing.

If your daughter is interested in Bethany or surfing, in this video she tells her story in her own words. She's a brave and strong example for our daughters.

8.) Rudy: Fine. Maybe not for younger kids, but older kids will like the story of a young man struggling to reach his goal of making the Notre Dame football team. There are so many great scenes in there that will teach kids some fantastic lessons. This movie is most famous for making grown men cry like little babies--it's that good.

9.) Angels in the Outfield: Everything you want from a kids sports movie: a kid who makes a wish, Christopher Lloyd, a down-and-out sports team and lots of silliness. If you haven't watched Angels in the Outfield with your kids, rent it this week, make some popcorn and pop it in. You'll all love it!

November 11, 2014

My guy loves the old-fashioned taste of Thrifty's Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. I like making my own ice cream and have been frustratingly unsuccessfully at copying the recipe. The ice cream was coming out pretty well, but the texture of the chocolate chips was the tricky part. I tried shaving and pounding chips from blocks of chocolate but nothing seemed right.

The method I outline below matches Thrifty's the very best. It takes a little extra time but is well worth it! I also use essential oils instead of peppermint extract. It was more flavorful and I like to cook using doTERRA products whenever I can.

Ingredients

2 cups whole milk

2 cups heavy cream

1 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 drops Do TERRA peppermint essential oil

2 drops green food coloring (optional)

2 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

1.) In a large bowl, stir together the milk, cream, sugar, salt, vanilla extract and peppermint essential oil until everything has dissolved. Color to your liking with the green food coloring. Pour into ice cream machine.

2.) Place the chocolate chips into a clear Ziplock bag and heat in microwave for 10 seconds (or until softened). Pound chocolate chips flat in the bag until they make a wafer-thin sheet. Place in the freezer.

3.) Fifteen minutes into the freezing, take the chocolate chips out the freezer and pound the sheet through the plastic with the back of a one cup measuring cup. Keep pounding until you’ve smashed the chocolate into tiny shards.

4.) Add the chocolate chips into almonst finished freezing ice cream.

5.) After the ice cream is finished spoon into a container, and freeze for 2 hours or until it is the thickness you like.

At least not right now. My kids are 13 and 10 years old, and what I’m teaching them are things like perseverance, the value of hard work, responsibility and charity. Those ideas aren’t splashed across T-Shirts in the juniors’ department of Macy’s, but they certainly are more important and are key components to reaching life-long goals.

My Facebook feed is filled with inspirational quotes telling people that whatever they can put their mind to do, they can do. “If you can dream it, you can do it,” is a quote by Walt Disney that pops up almost daily. With all due respect to Mr. Disney, that is just not true.

Just one episode of American Idol’s audition show debunks the idea that you can do whatever you set your mind to. With all the confidence of a gladiator these kids take the stage, declare they will be the next American Idol, and then proceed to massacre a song by singing it. For heaven’s sakes where are these kids’ parents? Did they not tell them, “My dear son I love you but you can not carry a tune?” It is fun to watch but at the same time I can’t help but feel it is a peek into the pandemic of overconfident kids.

It’s not that I don’t want my kids to be happy and pursue their passions. I just want them to have true confidence that comes from actual achievement.

I work in a profession that is a “dream job” to a lot of young adults. I’m a writer and an editor for a magazine and I work for our county’s largest newspaper. Because of this, around May and June I get many calls from journalism and English soon-to-be graduate students asking about job opportunities. They tell me it’s their dream to be a writer or to work at a newspaper. “Great! When would you like to do your internship?” Without fail many turn down an internship. Why would they work “for free?” After all, they will be college graduates.

Recently, a parent told me proudly that her high school daughter wanted to be a writer. He went on about what a passion she had and what a natural talent she possessed. When I chatted with the obviously intelligent and accomplished young girl she told me it was her dream to write for magazines one day. I told her my best piece of advice was to start her own blog and write every day.

She quickly informed me that she was far too busy to write every day. “That wouldn't work in my schedule” and that she had a blog already but rarely wrote there. She blew me off as if I was giving her advice on how be a rabbit, not how to achieve exactly what she said she wanted from someone who had success in that field. Her dad backed her up. “You should see her iCal. She’s very active at school,” he said.

Kids need to be equipped with more than a well-developed dream, talent and a parent who believes in them. Those things will only get them so far. I fear we are parenting our kids right out of a successful future. We are at once over parenting and under parenting our kids. We pad them from every possible failure, we do everything for them from chores to their homework, but then we don’t teach them the hard stuff like responsibility and discipline.

It’s not my imagination; I recently heard a jaw-dropping statistic that confirms my fears. One in eight college graduates brings a parent with them on a job interview.

So, these kids land their dream job interview, yet can’t face another adult without their mom or dad. It sounds absurd, but talk to anyone who works with young adults and they won’t be surprised.

My daughter dreams of being a fashion designer one day. Fantastic! We watch Project Runway. I buy her sketchbooks and colored pencils. But my focus with her right now is to teach her to keep her room picked up, complete her homework on time, be kind to her brother and volunteer at church. I believe these simple disciplines will help her achieve her goals (which may change five times before her sixtieth birthday).

I swear I’m not a dream killer. I’ve just seen too many kids crash and burn when they reach adulthood. What keeps me up at night with worry is not whether my son or daughter will “reach their dreams” it’s whether they will be successful, responsible adults in their personal and professional life. My goal as a parent is not to pad their life and cushion them for disappointment, mean people or rejection. It’s to teach them to handle these situations with maturity and grace.

It might seem like an odd declaration from someone like me who is living her own dream of being a working writer. But, if you knew my story, it hasn’t come easy. I worked jobs I hated. I stayed up late night after night to meet deadlines because I was taking care of small children at home all day. I wrote for years without receiving a dime. What I’ve learned is that your true dreams pursue you. Your passion will nip at your heels throughout your life and insist on being fulfilled.

November 10, 2014

October 30, 2014

Whenever I speak at conferences or to professional groups I talk about readers/users/costumers "social media language." Every online media consumer has one they prefer.

The social media world can be confusing to businesses who are trying to reach out to consumers. They often tell me they feel like they are just spewing out the same information on every channel. I explain that you must be in all places in order to "speak everyone's language."

When a social media savvy person (which really is every person between the ages of 13 - 55) finds a product, company or brand they like they will follow that brand in their preferred language.

My social media language is Pinterest. If I like a brand and I see the little red "P" at the top of their web page, most of the time, that is where I will follow them. When my friend Elaina finds a product she likes she follows them on Instagram. Others will choose Facebook or Twitter. Social media helps consumers process information in the way they prefer. I'm a visual person. Elaina is community oriented as well as visual.

It's important for a company looking for brand believers to be everywhere. The trick is to know how to tell the right message in each social media channel.

Let's use the example of a restuarnt who is using social media in a successful way.

Pinterest: Post recipes from the chef.

Instagram: Post photos of the daily special and behind-the-scenes photos from the kitchen. (Sealegs Winebar does a great job at this.)

Tumblr: Create a page that glorfies food and their core beliefs about food with beaufiful photos. (I don't know any restuarant that does this well which is a shame!)

Flickr: Post photos of menu items in albums by season and share them with the community. Invite bloggers to download them for review.

Facebook: Run contests, post photos of daily specials and share news about the resturant. (Driftwood Kitchen does a good job at this.)

Twitter: Interact with the foodie community (Zov's does a good job at this, here.)

Yelp: Claim your business, post photos and respond to reviews: both negative and positive. Offer a coupon upon check-in.

October 27, 2014

More from my presentation at the OCPRSA luncheon on The Virtual Power of Parenting and New Media Influencers.

I have a unique perspective on this topic -- How a new media influencer (mom blogger) differs from a traditional journalist -- because I have been (and still am) both of these. Though I began as a mom blogger back in 2008, I am now also a traditional journalist, working as the Editor of OC Register Family magazine and Columnist at the Orange County Register.

It's my opinion that the shift in thinking about pitching and working with new media for most Pubic Relations Professionals has been difficult. The standard 'ol press release just doesn't cut it anymore. It is a rare case that those pitches work, even when I'm wearing my traditional journalist hat, but I still receive upward of 100 of them a day.

In an effort to help PR folks understand the mom blogger and/or new media journalist I have made this list of how they differ from traditional media.

1. Doesn’t always have access to professional equipment and/or assistance.

The more you can supply to the mom blogger as far as photos, videos and graphic design the better.

2. May not hold traditional office hours

Most mom bloggers are, well, moms. They might be running around all day with their kids and get the bulk of their work done at night after the little ones have gone to bed.

3. Is a business owner

Unlike traditional journalists who work for a company, mom bloggers work for themselves and have an entrepreneur approach to their work. That means their time is valuable.

4. Effective coverage hinges on relationship

It's all about a good PR/mom blogger relationship. They have built their brand around these relationships. Successful PR people know this and maintain strong communication with mom bloggers.

5. Is open to suggestions for story lines and angles

This is probably the hardest thing for a traditional PR person to do. In the past they wouldn't dream of mapping out the story for a reporter, but a mom blogger appreciates hearing the PR person's vision of how they would fit with their brand.

6. Immediacy is an important part of her social media currency

Competition is fierce in the mom blogging community. Provide immediate sharing opportunities as much as possible. Mom bloggers want to be the first and/or original. Anything to set them apart from the other bloggers.

7. Usually a one-woman show

They don't have a staff of photographers or graphic designers. They do it all! This makes them great at guiding their brand. Respect it.

8. Is interested in experience when telling a story on her blog. That is where she uses her power

They want to stay at a hotel or to eat at the restaurant. They want to try the vacuum cleaner at their house or drive the car for a weekend. They are hands-on reporters. That is the value they bring.

9. Is a linear journalist (or story teller)

They don't just publish one story and BAM! they're done. I use the example for this from when I covered the opening of Disney's Aulani Resort in Hawaii. I started Tweeting about it the moment I was assigned the story. I posted photos on Instagram, Facebook and Flickr and videos on YouTube while I was on the trip. I also blogged while l was there. The print story ran the following January, but I had already provided a full body of coverage by that time.

10. Has developed her own ethics and standard practices for her work

All reputable mom bloggers should have their standards and ethics policy posted on their blog. If they don't, then ask them for it.

October 23, 2014

I recently spoke at the OCPRSA luncheon, The Virtual Power of Parenting Media and Influencers. I was looking forward to spending half an hour instructing (READ: bossing) PR folks on how to work with Mom Influencers. Here is some of the info I shared.

The Do's and Don'ts of Pitching to Mom Bloggers (or Influencers)

Do familiarize yourself with her content. Spend time reading her blog to understand the power of her influence

Do build a relationship with her via Twitter, Facebook or Pinterest prior to pitching her a story

Don’t connect with a general pitch, instead pitch a specific storyline based on influencer’s interests and strengths

Do include relative links, hashtags and photos!

Don’t call her a “mommy blogger”

Do be clear on what your expectations are of her

Don’t send a traditional press release attached to an email

Do create content that is easy to share on all platforms. A .jpg “flyer” is best way to control your message and create easily shareable content. This is my best tip. When pitching to Mom Bloggers send them something they can easily share.

October 08, 2014

It’s finally happened. My kids don’t want me to dress in a costume for Halloween. That would be, to use a direct quote, “Totally embarrassing.” It used to be our thing. When they were little and I could pick out their costumes, I got the chance to show my Winnie-the-Pooh love by dressing us all as characters. When I was pregnant with my son, Ben, my belly rounded out my Pooh Bear costume perfectly. It was a magical year.

Then my kids had their own opinions on what they were for Halloween. We’ve seen Troy from “High School Musical,” Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” and our fair share of pirates and princesses. When this phase hit, I would resurrect my roller-skating waitress costume, year after year.

This year, my daughter is all about the 1950s, since she saw “Grease” a few months ago. So she and her bestie are dressing in vintage clothes from that era for Mickey’s Halloween Party, at Disneyland Resort. At 13, she’s too old to go trick-or-treating – nothing worse than a group of teenagers coming to your door and clearing out your candy stash – so this is her only big Halloween festivity.

Mickey’s Halloween Party is a special ticketed event at Disneyland Resort that runs 12 nights in October. (Go to [disneyland.com] for ticket prices and a schedule.) They close down the park and transform it into a spooktacular Halloween party. The best part: The kids get to trick-or-treat at DISNEYLAND! It’s an absolutely mind-blowing experience. Also, guests get to experience things that only happen at Mickey’s Party, such as their special Halloween fireworks show and a Costume Party Cavalcade Parade. Adding to the fun: It’s the only time that adults are allowed into the park in full costume. Hooray! But, um, not per my kids. So no dressing up for me... except for ... my Minnie Mouseish costume at Mickey's Halloween Party. Check out my photos:

Tick or Treat stations throughtout the park.

My son and I on the tram into the park

My daughter's friend posing with Duffy at Big Thunder Ranch.

Dapper Dans singing Halloween-themed songs at Big Thunder Ranch

Although my daughter will no longer go trick-or-treating, my son, who is 10, is still heading out to collect what always turns out to be too much candy. So this year, we are gong to participate in the Halloween Candy Buy Back Program. It allows kids to sell their candy to a local dentist to earn cash – which I suspect will simply be used to buy candy. The sweetest thing is that this year the program is teaming up with Spry and Operation Gratitude. Together they will work with participating dentists to collect children’s Halloween candy to send to the U.S. troops overseas, along with toothbrushes and other oral care items. Just go to [halloweencandybuyback.com] and enter your zip code. A list of local dentists will be provided.

I do miss the days of dressing up and hitting the neighborhood with my kids, each year holds sweet memories for us. Anyone need to borrow my roller-skating waitress costume? I’m rolling with the changes but, sadly, not rolling door to door with my kids anymore.

October 05, 2014

I remember the roaming, the aimless innocent cavorting with packs of friends, like costumed strays around our neighborhood. Halloween was the one night of the year our parents let us OUT, like really out, on our own. Growing up in the seventies and the eighties Halloween night meant one thing--independence. The candy was good. Just fine, but the big draw was the wandering in little packs of ghosts, cats and nurses.

Armed with pillowcases we'd hit the neighborhood, sans parents, trying to see through the peep-holes of our sweaty masks, knocking on doors of *gasp* strangers demanding candy. Sometimes I'm pretty sure we didn't say "thank you" or "please" but no supervising adult was there to remind us. Off we went to the next house, then the next. It was just like the Charlie Brown cartoons. It was the best night of the year.

That Halloween is dead. Forever.

For reasons today's parents are all too familiar with, we'd never send our 10-year-old out on Halloween night with her friends without proper supervision. Not to be a Halloween grinch, but I kind of dread tonight. The kids have already been to three "Harvest" parties, their costumes stained with chocolate and fruit punch, and now they're going to fill up on more. We'll leave a big bowl of candy at our door and join our kids, missing out on one of the really fun parts of the holiday for parents--passing out the candy.

I know I need to let it go. I know I do. But I can't shake the feeling that our kids are missing out on something great and it makes me sad for them. Though I know the last thing in the world they'll be tonight is "sad." I know I need to let it go--embrace the good things about the today's Halloween; the block parties, the parent costumes, the time together. But Halloween has become some sort of yardstick for me--symbolic--measuring the childhood I had to the one my kids have. I know I need to let it go. I know I do...

September 24, 2014

September 13, 2014

Disney Resort calls it trick-or-treating in the "ultimate neighborhood," Mickey's Halloween Party has returned once again to the resort. The party is a separate ticketed event that happens only 10 nights in October and allows guests to have the park to themselves for an evening of exclusive Halloween-themed activities inside Disneyland. What sets Mickey's Halloween Party apart from a night in the park?

*Adults and children can dress in costume (but nothing scary is allowed).

* Themed dance parties for families. This year Pirate-poliza promises to be hit with the kids.

*Special character experiences. Guest get to mingle with characters like Stormtroopers, the Queen of Hearts and many of the Disney Villains. These are characters not normally seen in the park.

* Halloween Screams Firework Spectacular. Oh, man! I love this firework show and you can only see it during Mickey's party. (Here is my video of the entire show from a few years ago.) It's a must see at least ONCE!

*Trick-or-Treating for the kids. Lots of candy stations, but they offer healthy treats as well.

You should purchase your tickets in advance, here. Most nights are $49 if you buy them before you arrive at the park. On Oct. 28 and on Halloween night tickets are $64 because everyone wants to be there during the height of the season.

September 01, 2014

It's a fact--girls are starting to "develop" earlier. That's what we called it in the late '70s when my girlfriends and I were separated from the boys in our sixth grade class and shown an instructional film on menstruation. We were all given a packet of related goodies, like pads and tampons, and then sent back to our class doing our best to hide the blue packages from the boys.

(This video is surprisingly informative.)

An article in the New York Times outlined a medical study on breast development in girls and pegged the age for a girl to show the first signs of puberty as early as 7 to 8 years old. It was a shocker, showing a big shift to the younger side of girlhood. Even though I read the article last August; I was still caught off guard to see its findings playing out in my 4th grade daughter and her friends' lives.

Honestly, the issue of puberty still escaped my attention. When your little girl is obsessed with puppies, kitties and horses, you're not thinking tampons, deodorants and bras. Luckily my mom, who surprisingly (read sarcasm) has been through this already, bought my daughter "The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book For Girls" published by the folks at American Girl. My daughter absolutely devoured the book and after she finished it (which only took one night behind the closed door in her bedroom), she asked me to sit down with her and read back parts where she had questions. We did.

This book covers it all; pimples, periods and parents. It's very graphic and detailed, but not overly dramatic or gratuitous. "The Care and Keeping of You" provides basic and practical information for girls on hygiene, healthy eating and even social issues that I hadn't thought about mentioning, like bulimia, along with good sound advice. All of this without a whisper about sexuality, which is a subject I want to take the lead as far as teaching my daughter. She's still far too young and as a testament to the way "The Care and Keeping of You" is written, the subject never came up.

It probably would be best to go through it yourself to see if it fits your style of parenting. It may be TMI for some, in that case, use it as a guideline for issues that might be coming up in your daughter's prepubescent head and approach the topics yourself.

From my very, very informal survey, some public schools do offer "Mom and Daughter Teas" a function where the subject of puberty is served with tea and sandwiches, but it might be a little late (at the end of 5th grade) for some girls. If you have a younger daughter (say under 6 years old) let this serve as your official heads up from me. Today you're braiding your daughter's hair and watching countless episodes of Dora The Explorers, but someday, in the not-too-distance future, you'll be standing in the middle of Justice trying to help her decided between a two bras, the one with monkeys or the one with pandas.

August 15, 2014

There are those movies that always bring you back to life. The ones we pop on when we're home sick (or recovering from being *thrown* from a horse) or once they come up during channel surfing on a rainy day, we just have to stop and watch.

They're our "go-to" movies.

We all have them. They're the ones that take us away from the messy house, gloomy day or whatever it is that's given us the "mean reds." We collect them and pull them out when we need them.

Since I've been home I've watched all of mine. Most are firmly in the "girl movie" category, but when I'm down, cute shoes, witty banter and George Peppard are what I need. Here they are in order of their perking-up effect--#5 being my all-time favorite.

1.) Pride and Prejudice (2005): Mr. Darcy? He cheers me up every time.

2.) Waiting for Guffman: Anything with Christopher Guest will do, but this is my favorite. "...just a Coke." Hilarious.

3.) When Harry Met Sally: Nora Ephron (the writer) is kind of like an idol to me. This is one of my favorite parts. "She look okay to me..."

4.) My Favorite Year: This is an obscure movie from the '80s. I like it because it's terribly funny and clever, but also because it reminds me of my brothers. We can recite this movie almost line-by-line. It was a family favorite and it always chases away the mean reds.

Drum-roll....

5.) Breakfast at Tiffany's: There are so many wonderful things about this movie; the look of it, Holly's charm and complexity, Fred Baby, the last scene with cat... I've watched it four times since I've been home. I just want to crawl inside and live inside this movie.

July 18, 2014

(Watch my interview with Mary Poppins herself, plus some clips from the show.)

Mary Poppins the Musical started its four-week run at The Segerstrom Center for the Arts on Friday night. The hit Broadway musical first premiered in London in 2004 and has swept through the world performing in the most delightful way to over seven million guest.

"It the best of both the book and the movie," Stephanie Leigh, who plays Mary Poppins in the OC run, told me. With all the classic songs written by the Sherman Brothers for the movie--Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Spoonful of Sugar, Let's Go Fly a Kite, Chim Chimmery--and fantastic new songs like "Practically Perfect" that fit seamlessly into the story of our favorite flying nanny, Mary Poppins.

If you're a fan of the movie Mary Poppins the stage show will deliver the same toe-tapping, sassy goodness you love from the film, plus stunning sets, colorful costumes and fantastic little surprises--at one point Bert tap dances on the ceiling!

My daughter, Emily, and I enjoyed every magical minute. It's the kind of show where we kept elbowing each other and smiling. At one point Emily whispered in my ear "Thank you for brining me to see this, Mom. I love it!"

The Lowdown:

Tickets for Mary Poppins start at $22 and special packages are available. Head on over to Segerstrom's web site, here, to order.

May 09, 2014

Mother's Day Brunch is a given. You have to treat the moms in your life to a day free of planning, shopping and dishes. In case you've been a little distracted the last few weeks, let me remind you: Mother's Day is THIS Sunday, May 8th. Being totally transparent here, I didn't even realize that until I started writing this blog post.

After some research here are my suggestions for Mother's Day Brunch in Orange County. You won't be surprised, they are some of my favorite places in OC.

1.) Matador CantinaHave you been to this hip restaurant in the heart of Old Town Fullerton? You have to try it, innovated food in an intimate, sultry environment. Think candles, bare brick walls and Huevos Rancheros. Seriously, if you go to The Old Spaghetti Factory again without trying Matador at least once, I'm going to scream. For Mother's Day they're adding Strawberry Fruit Tart and Crab Cake Benedicto. Moms will also receive a gift...a gift beyond just getting out of the house with her family.111 Harbor Blvd., FullertonOpen for brunch on Sunday 9 am to 2 pm.Make reservations at 714-871-8226

2.) Pelican Hill ResortAlways upping your dining experience, The Pelican Hill Resort is offering a Mother's Day Family Tea in their Great Room. Only for Mother's Day, dine on sandwiches and sweets as you sip tea with mom. For added elegance they'll be a pianist and sweeping ocean views. Lifting pinkie finger while sipping tea is optional. Talking in fake English accent forbidden.22701 Pelican Hill Road, Newport CoastTea is from 3 pm to 5 pm$45 for adults and $25 for children 12 years old to 5. Children under 5 are free

Reservations Required call 800.820.6800.

3.) Nieuport 17Class-it-up for Mother's Day at the new Nieuport 17 in Tustin. They have a new chef and new brunch menu and for Mother's Day, they are letting the Champaign flow! I like it; jazz, Champaign and no dishes.13051 Newport Ave, TustinOpen for Brunch on Sunday 10 am to 2 pmFor reservations call (714) 731-5130

4.) "A" MarketYou can find A Market right next to A Restaurant in Newport Beach (Formerly Arches) on PCH. It's a cozy, upscale eatery that makes the best roast beef sandwich I've ever had. Ever. And I don't even really like roast beef. It's that good. The nice folks at A Market will box up your sandwiches or salads in an adorable brown to-go box and you can take mom and the gang anywhere to enjoy Mother's Day. We often pick up lunch at A Market and head down to the beach. Looks like good weather for it. A Restaurant is offering a Mother's Day brunch, too.3334 PCH, Newport Beach, Ca949-650-6505

5.) The Lazy Dog CafeBring the whole family, dog included, to Mother's Day Brunch at Lazy Dog. No secret, this is one of my favorite places to eat in OC and for good reason; fresh, creative food in a friendly environment. They just launched their new brunch menu so even if you're a regular like me, you'll find something new there this Sunday.Eight LocationsBrunch served 9 am to 2 pm on Sunday

April 24, 2014

One fun part about being editor of OC Family magazine is I'm offered the opportunity to work with some of the most inspirational, talented women in Orange County.

On such person is our Art Director, Monica Garrett. I was lucky enough to host her baby shower at my home AND work with designer Lindye Galloway on the design of the shower. The results were a wonderful feature story in the April issue of OC Family magazine.

Some of my favorite photos didn't make it into the story, but thought I'd give a peek here on my blog. All the photos were taken by the uber talented Ryan Haack.

My daughter posing with our rabbit, Peter

We handmade the tassels for the large round balloons. I bought a six-pack of the balloons at Party City and then we cut the tassels and tied them to the strings. They turned out perfect!

“Mom, are you crying?” one of my kids asked me as we watched the tail-end of the last regular season game for the Anaheim Ducks. It was Teemu Selanne’s last game – excluding our Stanley Cup run – and the Duck organization and the fans were paying tribute to “The Great No. 8.”

In true Selanne form, during HIS moment he extended one of the classiest, character-rich moments in sports history. The spotlight was on him – his big night after playing 21 seasons in the NHL – and he skated over to grab former Ducks goalie, JS Giguere (or Giggy to fans), who was playing against the Ducks that night for Colorado.

But to us fans, Giggy will always be a Duck. He was the goalie who, together with Teemu and the rest of the 2007 team, took the Stanley Cup. He is one of the most adored and admired Ducks, so much so, that you still see his jersey worn, even years after being traded. This is his last year in the NHL as well.

Together Teemu and Giggy took to the ice and shared the applause and adoration together: Two legends taking a spin together after accomplished careers. (I may or may not be tearing up right now, just thinking of the moment.)

“This is why hockey is one of the greatest sports ever, kids!” I preach as I stand three inches from the TV, trying to take it all in. Looking back at the kids I tell them, “You’re seeing history right now! See how he is bringing out Giggy? That shows exemplarily character!”

I’m asked often how I became a hockey fan. We must seem like an odd pair to most. Reluctantly, I went to my first Ducks game during the 2007 – 2008 season. More specifically, it was my first hockey game ever. My penchant for man-food, tolerance for stadium rock and love of organized chaos came together at Honda Center that fateful Friday night. I was instantly smitten with the game and equally enamored with the fans. I fell hardcore in love with the sport and dedicated myself to learning everything I could about it.

Through the years I’ve formed friendships with other fans based on our mutual admiration of all things hockey and even started a blog with sports writer and friend, Jenelyn Russo. We wrote on “When Girls Love Hockey” at OCFamily.com for years.

We’ve been in the Ducks locker room, sat on the bench with players and accompanied them on their annual trip to visit patients at CHOC Children’s.

Through our close connection with the Ducks organization, I’ve come to appreciate how much the team does for our community, more specifically for our kids.

The Ducks’ S.C.O.R.E program (Scholastic Curriculum of Recreation and Education) is a classroom program that was developed in 2005 and its in-class and fieldtrip programs uses the sport of hockey to teach education fundamentals (such as science, math and reading). S.C.O.R.E also donates school supplies to local classrooms and encourages an active lifestyle by hosting street hockey games and sending classrooms of kids to skate at local ice rinks.

The S.C.O.R.E program is funded by the Anaheim Ducks Foundation and provides all of these services free to more than 25,000 local students a year.

Math, science, healthy lifestyle – it all sounds great to parents, right? Yet, the real power play of the S.C.O.R.E is kids absolutely love it! I’ve seen them jump at the chance to answer questions about the Pythagorean theorem and laugh hilariously while learning about projectile motion during the First Flight Field Trip at Honda Center.

The Ducks’ “Reading is the Goal” program, which raises the reading scores of the children who participate, uses rewards systems to encourage students to read. Schools, classrooms and students win prizes — supplied by the Ducks — when they reach reading goals.

The Ducks organization also supports a place that is close to my heart, CHOC Children’s.

For the last few years we were invited to follow a handful of Ducks players through the hallways of O.C.’s only children’s hospital. Teemu Selanne told us on one visit, “Our job can be kind of tough…but if we can make the kids smile, it makes it all worth it.”

For a sport that is known to be, let’s say “rough-and-tumble,” the common themes of commitment, character and charity unite the players, the organization and the fans of the Anaheim Ducks, making the sport more valuable to our community than someone not familiar with hockey might realize.

As I write this, the Ducks have just begun their run in the Stanley Cup finals. I absolutely adore playoff hockey, especially because it brings the sport – which can be eclipsed by more popular SoCal pastimes such as basketball and baseball – to the forefront. People are talking about hockey. My kids get to ditch their uniforms and wear Ducks T-Shirts to school the first day of the playoffs.

We will all be watching closely. Let’s hope Teemu gets sent off with another Stanley Cup win! Go Ducks!

April 22, 2014

“Mom, are you crying?” one of my kids asked me as we watched the tail-end of the last regular season game for the Anaheim Ducks. It was Teemu Selanne’s last game – excluding our Stanley Cup run – and the Duck organization and the fans were paying tribute to “The Great No. 8.”

Photo courtesy of OC Register

In true Selanne form, during HIS moment he extended one of the classiest, character-rich moments in sports history. The spotlight was on him – his big night after playing 21 seasons in the NHL – and he skated over to grab former Ducks goalie, JS Giguere (or Giggy to fans), who was playing against the Ducks that night for Colorado.

But to us fans, Giggy will always be a Duck. He was the goalie who, together with Teemu and the rest of the 2007 team, took the Stanley Cup. He is one of the most adored and admired Ducks, so much so, that you still see his jersey worn, even years after being traded. This is his last year in the NHL as well.

Together Teemu and Giggy took to the ice and shared the applause and adoration together: Two legends taking a spin together after accomplished careers. (I may or may not be tearing up right now, just thinking of the moment.)

Photo courtesy of the OC Register

“This is why hockey is one of the greatest sports ever, kids!” I preach as I stand three inches from the TV, trying to take it all in. Looking back at the kids I tell them, “You’re seeing history right now! See how he is bringing out Giggy? That shows exemplarily character!”

I’m asked often how I became a hockey fan. We must seem like an odd pair to most. Reluctantly, I went to my first Ducks game during the 2007 – 2008 season. More specifically, it was my first hockey game ever. My penchant for man-food, tolerance for stadium rock and love of organized chaos came together at Honda Center that fateful Friday night. I was instantly smitten with the game and equally enamored with the fans. I fell hardcore in love with the sport and dedicated myself to learning everything I could about it.

Through the years I’ve formed friendships with other fans based on our mutual admiration of all things hockey and even started a blog with sports writer and friend, Jenelyn Russo. We wrote on “When Girls Love Hockey” at OCFamily.com for years.

We’ve been in the Ducks locker room, sat on the bench with players and accompanied them on their annual trip to visit patients at CHOC Children’s.

Through our close connection with the Ducks organization, I’ve come to appreciate how much the team does for our community, more specifically for our kids.

The Ducks’ S.C.O.R.E program (Scholastic Curriculum of Recreation and Education) is a classroom program that was developed in 2005 and its in-class and fieldtrip programs uses the sport of hockey to teach education fundamentals (such as science, math and reading). S.C.O.R.E also donates school supplies to local classrooms and encourages an active lifestyle by hosting street hockey games and sending classrooms of kids to skate at local ice rinks.

The S.C.O.R.E program is funded by the Anaheim Ducks Foundation and provides all of these services free to more than 25,000 local students a year.

Math, science, healthy lifestyle – it all sounds great to parents, right? Yet, the real power play of the S.C.O.R.E is kids absolutely love it! I’ve seen them jump at the chance to answer questions about the Pythagorean theorem and laugh hilariously while learning about projectile motion during the First Flight Field Trip at Honda Center.

The Ducks’ “Reading is the Goal” program, which raises the reading scores of the children who participate, uses rewards systems to encourage students to read. Schools, classrooms and students win prizes — supplied by the Ducks — when they reach reading goals.

The Ducks organization also supports a place that is close to my heart, CHOC Children’s. For the last few years we were invited to follow a handful of Ducks players through the hallways of O.C.’s only children’s hospital. Teemu Selanne told us on one visit, “Our job can be kind of tough…but if we can make the kids smile, it makes it all worth it.”

Watch our video of the DUCKS tour here:

For a sport that is known to be, let’s say “rough-and-tumble,” the common themes of commitment, character and charity unite the players, the organization and the fans of the Anaheim Ducks, making the sport more valuable to our community than someone not familiar with hockey might realize.

As I write this, the Ducks have just begun their run in the Stanley Cup finals. I absolutely adore playoff hockey, especially because it brings the sport – which can be eclipsed by more popular SoCal pastimes such as basketball and baseball – to the forefront. People are talking about hockey. My kids get to ditch their uniforms and wear Ducks T-Shirts to school the first day of the playoffs.

We will all be watching closely. Let’s hope Teemu gets sent off with another Stanley Cup win! Go Ducks!

April 15, 2014

I noticed these “fellas” years ago at a friend's party. These compadres truly adored their smartphones. They shined them. They held them up to the light. They showed them off to each other and wore them on their hip like a trusted six- shooter.

At the party all the men greeted each other with hugs and slaps on the back, then they all sat down at a big round table on the patio next to a freshly remodeled pool. The flagstone fireplace lit up their faces and in unison the men slid their phones out of their pockets and laid them on the table directly in front of them.

One guy pointed at another man’s phone and asked, "May I?" Getting the nod from him to examine his phone, he picked it up and tossed it lightly from hand to hand. He then quickly slipped it into his holster short’s pocket, quickly taking it in and out a few times. "Smooth," he complimented, pursing his lips. "iPhone?… nice," he nodded his approval. Next came the questions: “How's the reception? Easy to use the keypad? How is it with a Bluetooth?"

Here, at the very mention of the word “Bluetooth," all the men perked up even more. "Yes, it works great, but I still pre-ordered – fill in whatever the latest release was back then - just in case I like the camera better." All the men "Ahh'd" their approval at the very idea of having two smartphones at once and then simply choosing the one they prefer. The phone with the better camera, or the best keyboard, or the easiest screen to see in the scorching sun while riding your horse out on the open range, ur, um, I mean waiting for your margarita out on the patio of Javier’s.

I got the impression that these men, if left in the wilds of Orange County without their trusted smartphones by their sides, would be rendered helpless, unable to mosey their way through traffic without their GPS app or decide which watering hole to go to without being able to check Yelp’s recommendations.

They would surely perish in the harsh wilderness of disconnection. Cell phone cowboys needed their guns phones to survive in their frontier.

But do these men know how to use a Thomas Guide to find their way? Probably not. My dad still has his in the back of his car. It’s like his own version of Custard’s Last Stand. He’s doesn’t have a smartphone and promises he never will. He’s a real man afterall! To my dad, the idea of GPS is downright disgraceful.

You might think that having access to all the conveniences and pampering that technology provides has changed what it means to be a man? Are these men who are constantly checking their bracket apps while picking the right filter for their Instagram photo of their lunch and updating their status on Facebook really still “real” men? Yes. You know why I can say that with stanch confidence? Because I’m raising a young man.

My 10-year-old son is a classic nerd. A geek. A technology junkie! He has pictures of the creators of Minecraft taped on his bedroom door, not an athlete or rock star. His best friend, a fellow geek, dressed as Steve Jobs for his historical character book report, complete with black turtleneck, jeans and white tennis shoes. He got the “coolest costume” nod of approval from all the boys. And though Markus Persson and Jens Bergensten (the creators of Minecraft) and Steve Jobs might not have the swagger of Steve McQueen or the grit of John Wayne, they are idols to these young boys. They’re pioneers, rebels, hard-workers and smart on top of it all.

When I told my son I was going to write this column I asked him (as I always do when I write about my kids) if it was okay to for me to call him a nerd and geek. “Oh, yeah!” he replied instantly. “I’m a geek! That’s cool.”

We’re going to be okay. These young men know who they are and I believe so do their dads, uncles and teachers. They’re not Googling “How to be manly” (though that is a thing I found online and I would pay money – cold hard cash – to know someone who has looked that up), they have just replaced their spurs, lassos and sweaty bandanas with convenience.

Back to the cellphone cowboys at the party. After these men had finished admiring each other's phones, they all sat back deeply in their chairs and looked up at the stars, clear and bright in the San Juan Capistrano sky. The night was quiet and still. Only the crackling of the fire and a random ringtone every so often broke the silence.

Sometimes while I'm out doing my job I take a step back and I think, "Man, I can't believe this is my job!"

That moment happened at a Disneyland Press Conference recently while I was sitting in the front row taking notes on all of the upcoming attractions and changes (Carsland, Star Tours, Ariel's Underwater Adventure) and the Disney host said something like, "...and now for something special."

NOTE: Okay, when you're at a Disneyland press event and they say "time for something special" get out your camera. Seriously, just do it.

Next the music swells up and out comes Jody Benson, who is the "Voice of Ariel" in The Little Mermaid. She then sings "Part of Your World" and, as if that weren't enough, she's joined by Sebastian (not sure if he's the original voice) and they sing "Under The Sea" together.

It was freakin' fantastic....and here's the video. I've used it on several occasions to impress third-graders. Feel free to do the same.http://www.vimeo.com/13843234

April 09, 2014

After my daughter was born, all I wanted was to be a stay-at-home mom. I imagined I'd spend my days pushing my daughter in a stroller through the park in the mornings, scrapbooking our family memories when I could sneak in some "me time," as she napped in the afternoon, and then I'd prepare a pictorial-worthy family meal every night.

It didn't exactly happen that way; I did eventually leave my full-time job when we decided we could make it on one income, but by then, my daughter was four and my son was one.

I was ready. Bring on the stay-at-home momminess! But what happened the next six months shocked me--I was miserable. The reality of spending most days snail hunting, waiting for a child to either fall asleep or wake up, and the stark loneliness of staying at home with two small kids wasn't what I imagined, but I didn't dare tell a soul. Are you kidding? After all the dreaming, planning and sacrifice I couldn't admit I was two "Dora The Explorers" shy of a total meltdown. Even if Elmo himself came and knocked on my door for a little heart to heart--I wasn't going to admit I was going a little crazy.

That's about when I came across this thing called a blog and decided I would start one of my own. I was a journalism major in college and always loved to write and tell stories. I had my own personal blog up and running within a week and a few weeks after that was picked up by the Orange County Register to blog before joining the team here at OC Family. At night after the kids were in bed I'd stay up late writing, making videos and connecting with other moms online. Blogging was just the spark I needed to keep me from leaping into the waiting arms of a deep depression.

I love my kids. It wasn't being a mom that was causing me to spiral, it was the lack of connection to the "pre-mom me" and to other people. I'm a social person and I needed to spend time being creative and then share that part of me. I discovered that being a mom was just like anything else, I couldn't rely on other people to flip that "happy" switch. Once I took it on myself to find what made me feel balanced and content--ta da! I was happy.

Blogging is undeniably denominated by women--mostly moms--and here's why: Our blog is all ours. Moms rightly spend most of their days pouring their energy into everyone else's needs; the kids, the boss, the husband. But a blog is our own space and we can make it look, say and be anything *we* want, and that's empowering.

I believe the internet and its cohorts--etsy, blogs, message boards, Twitter--have been revolutionary to women, especially to moms. Through online networks a stay-at-home mom in Iowa can sell her handmade scarves internationally or a working mom can take night classes online to help grow her career or a stay-at-home mom in Orange County can write on her blog late at night and become a columnist, writer and local TV host all while her kids are asleep or in school.

This month's cover story for OC Family is all about Digital Moms. I proudly wear that title. In fact, the writer, Debbie Lavdas, and I are tight friends and we met through an online OC mom's networking site years ago. If I remember right she described herself as a mom and writer in her bio. I think I replied with "I'm a mom and a writer too!" That was it. We quickly arranged an IRL (In Real Life) meeting and have worked together blogging and now on OC Family TV.

I hear the comment often that online connections are "superficial" and "unhealthy," but that’s not my experience. Try having a deeply felt conversation with your daughter's Pollie Pockets about the weather after being home with a sick kid for two days and then let's talk "superficial" and "unhealthy" relationships. Moms need to connect and the online world offers us a conduit to find customers for our products, like-minded moms in our community and healthy friendships. Embrace it!

April 08, 2014

On the morning of March 23 the parents of Yorba Linda teenager Logan Wells woke to the news that a car had hit their son. He later died at the hospital at 9:37 a.m. Logan was hit at 4 a.m. by a van as he rode his skateboard in the street.

He wasn’t wearing a helmet.

My heart sank when I read the news. I didn’t know Logan or his family, but as a parent, my natural reaction was to feel overwhelming sadness for the young man whose life was cut short, for the family and especially for the mom and dad who received the worst news a parent could ever receive.

Soon after the news, questions and pointed criticism started onsocial media, my Facebook feed was filling up with the story and was lit up with speculation, and in the wilderness that is the comment section of news sites the cries were loud and pierced the thin veil of human decency: “Why was a boy out so late at night?” “Where were his parents?” “We want answers!”

The new age of journalism and the way in which people consume news online has created a mob mentality that has made the once news consumer feel like they are now tasked with being judge and jury to any news event that occurs. They feel they MUST know things that are, well, frankly, private. That’s right there are things that are still private. Not news.

Do we really deserve to know? Do we have a right to know every detail of the events of that night? No. We don’t.

It’s a natural reaction to want to know more about tragedy. You only had to turn on the TV and find non-stop coverage of the missing Malaysian Airplane to understand that people want to know (even when there was absolutely nothing to report). It’s instinctual to want to pick apart a tragedy like Logan’s to find some factor that would exclude it from ever happening to us, to our kids. I understand that when news is so horrific we want to cushion ourselves from it. In this case, parents judging other parents.

But the wave of criticism didn’t stop there; it turned to judging a 16-year-old boy’s poor choice. People were shocked. SHOCKED. Absolutely amazed that a teenager was, well, acting like a teenager. As if WE, as teenagers, never made a bad decision. That was the most hurtful and the most bizarre of the feedback I saw online and I hope never passed the path of anyone from his family.

I had two older brothers and could happily provide a list of the stupid stunts they pulled. These stories are now told over family dinners with eye-rolls from my mom as she exclaims, “I didn’t know you did that!” Even me. The little sister who spent most Friday and Saturday nights as a teenager at Calvary Chapel had my share of poor choices. Like the time my friends and I piled in the back of my friend Rick’s ’57 Chevy truck and drove to Mexico. (That’s another country.) We slept in the back of the truck in a parking lot in Tijuana and then drove home the next morning. Brilliant.

The thought of my mom being condemned for my dumb decision if something would have happened to me is a sobering and saddening thought. And so I think of the family of Logan Wells and my heart breaks for them.

My mom taught me that when someone had a loss in their family you simply said you were sorry for them. That you pray for them. It’s no surprise to anyone who reads their news online that the rules of etiquette usually get applied, but as parents I’m asking that we model some good behavior and join together and extend our deepest condolences to the Wells family. Compassion is the only answer we need.

April 07, 2014

The Girl Scouts and Sheryl Sandberg, a Facebook executive and author of the best-selling book “Lean In,” recently collaborated on a campaign designed to encourage girls to become leaders. The “Ban Bossy” campaign harnessed the star power of Beyoncé, the political punch of Michelle Obama and the emerging sympathetic face of motherhood, Jennifer Garner. Its website uses videos and predesigned graphics with quotes from these high-powered women. The campaign also offers merchandise encouraging ideas to help build girls’ self-esteem. The initiative’s goal is to have all girls fight to “Ban Bossy,” which organizers have declared the new “B-word.”

The statistics are jaw-dropping but unsurprising to any parent of a preteen or teen girl. Between elementary school and high school, girls’ self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys’. Girls are called on less often in class then boys and are interrupted more, all according to the Ban Bossy website.

The Ban Bossy premise is that when a young boy is assertive (read: a leader) he is thought of in a positive way, but when a little girl is assertive, she is labeled “bossy,” sparking a spiral of self-doubt and fear.

Though I wholeheartedly support Sandberg’s other “lean in” efforts – especially a new partnership with Getty Images that supplies realistic photos of women in the workplace – I think she and the Girl Scouts are off base with this campaign.

The word “bossy” isn't the problem. I think it’s a branding thing for them: “BAN BOSSY!” Everyone likes good alliteration, right? Through personal experiences, the founders of this campaign have had negative experiences with it, but I find no offense with the word.

In fact, I have embraced it over the years. I have a T-shirt that has the word splashed across it. Ironically, to me, the word is empowering, not demeaning, stifling or an insult. Having said all that, I'm glad the discussion is happening! If it promotes conversations about young girls and their place as leaders, I’m in! Let’s talk about it! (I’m bossy like that).

Where I think this well-intentioned campaign goes wrong is its negative focus on the hapless word “bossy.” The Ban Bossy campaign’s main logo is the word bossy with a red strike through it. Girls with stern looks holding up signs with the “anti-bossy” image come across as – ironically – well … bossy. There is just simply nothing inspiring about it. It gives too much power to a word.

No one from Lean In or the Girls Scouts consulted me before they launched the campaign (the very nerve!), but if they had, I would have offered up some more positive monikers. I personally lean toward “Like a Boss” or “Your future employer. Be nice.” I would much rather have young girls surrounded by positive words, images and advice.

Putting aside the issue I have with banning a word that I kinda like, I love the campaign’s goal: to encourage girls to be more confident and comfortable in leadership roles.

I urge you to take a look at the Ban Bossy website at banbossy.com. The cruel twist of the campaign’s name and focus is that the site provides an enormous amount of good, positive stuff! There are some great articles for parents of young girls, and commentary from leaders on how to encourage girls to lead and be brave. Some of the material talks to girls directly about how being called bossy shouldn’t hinder or slow them down. But in the end, I want to teach my 12-year-old daughter that it doesn’t matter what label you are given by others, or what name you are called. It’s how you answer that is important.

March 12, 2014

I love to quote movie lines. This was a habit handed down from my dad and now I do it to my kids. Growing up it wasn't uncommon for me and my brothers to quote movie line after movie line without ever speaking an original word to each other all day.

Watching movies has always been an important family pastime. So, I thought for this Friday Five I'd actually do Ten. Ten of my favorite parenting scenes from movies.

1.) Steel Magnolias:

This is one of the saddest, most heartfelt scenes I can think of related to parenting. Sally Fields in "Steel Magnolia" as she comes to grips with losing her daughter. I love how the sorrow is broken up by humor.

2.) Say Anything:

This is from my own personal YouTube clips channel. From "Say Anything" John Cusack explaining to his girlfriend's dad what he wants to do with his life. Classic. One of the most quotable dialogs ever.

3.) It's a Wonderful Life:

Just a classic. You've seen it, you know. When George rushes home to sees his family...*tear*

4.) Kramer vs. Kramer:

Reaching back to the '70s, if you've never seen this movie, it's a must. This scene in particular is an iconic parenting moment: The Ice Cream Scene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSrI96jzgDo

5.) Mr. Mom:

Oh, Michael Keaton! One of my favorite comic actors. Mr. Mom is an '80s classic from start to finish, directed by Ron Howard. A must see. I was so happy someone had this up on YouTube, sorry about the ad that runs before it. Not only one of my favorite parenting scene, one of my all-time favorites movies. Keaton tries to talk his young son into giving up his blanket. "...the next thing you know, you're strung out on bed spreads" So funny.

6.) Whip It:

This movie about Roller Derby has so many touching parenting moments in it. There's a scene at the end, which I couldn't find, between the mother and daughter that's so real and moving I cried unabashedly when I saw it. Go watch this movie.

7.) Kicking & Screaming:

Will Ferrell at his very best. Part of the charm of this movie is Ferrell's character loses it and acts out towards kids--mostly other people's kids--in ways a lot of us parents can only fantasize about. Kind of a "Parents Gone Wild" movie. This is my favorite scene...

8.) Parenthood:

This is a littler known movie (that now has it's own tv show) also directed by Ron Howard. Lots of good stuff in this movie. Real parenting moments. The hard things. This too is from my personal collection of movie clips on YouTube. This scene plays out that moment when you, as a parent, realize your kid is just like you, and not in a good way. It also is powerful as the parents, Mary Steamvirgin and Steve Martin start to realize there is something wrong with their son.

9.) Terms of Endearment:

Okay, Mom saying goodbye to her sons right before she dies. This scene is a must watch.

10.) Life is Beautiful:

Lastly, one of the most powerful, yet soft and subtle, scenes about parenthood, ever. Life is Beautiful is about, among other things, a father's love for his son. In this scene, Roberto Benigni and his son are in a Nazi death camp. Benigini tries to protect his son from the horrors of their situation by pretending the whole experience is a game--specifically in this scene "translating" for a German soldier the "rules" of the game. *fantastic *brave* funny*heartbreaking*

March 10, 2014

Puppy chow is one of our family's favorite special treats. It's great for camping or large parties. It's also gluten free! I have been playing around with different recipes, adding and taking out ingredients. This one contains no peanut butter, the staple in a traditional puppy chow. I added Trader Joe's freeze dried strawberries to make it a bit more healthy. I also incorporated essential oils. Cooking and baking with them has been an adventure. A very yummy adventure!

I made this Lemon Strawberry Puppy Chow for OC Family magazine's Art Director Monica Garrett's baby shower. It turned out ... if I do say so ... delicious!

Ingredients:

8 c. Rice Chex cereal

1 c. white chocolate chips

4 drops lemon essential oil

¼ c. butter

1½ c. powdered sugar

2 c. Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Strawberries

Melt white chocolate and butter in a microwave-save bowl using 30 second intervals (about 2 minutes total) until smooth. White chocolate doesn't tend to get as smooth as dark chocolate, but it should be creamy.

Add 4 drops of lemon essential oil. (DoTerra.com) If you don't have essential oil you can use 4 drops lemon extract.

Pour Rice Chex into a large bowl. Then fold in white chocolate mixture.

Add powdered sugar to a large Ziplock baggie.

Add the Rice Chex, zip up bag and mix it all together until the powder sugar coats the Chex.

Pour onto large, parchment paper lined cookie sheet to cool.

I like to keep my puppy chow in the fridge until we're ready to enjoy it, but it doesn't need to be refrigerated.

March 04, 2014

Every morning I see her. She is as consistent as Al Roker’s silly jokes and my son’s breakfast choice (always oatmeal). When I moved into my neighborhood in Orange two and a half years ago she was the first person I met. Her name is Gertrude* and she is in her nineties. Her constant partner is named Tulia Pie, a white and brown Shih Tzu dog.

Gertrude introduced herself one afternoon as I swept out my garage. “Hello!’ she called out to me from the sidewalk. I honestly didn’t want to chat. I was busy. A single mom who just moved her two kids; two dogs and rabbit into a new house had a lot to do. Motivated solely by guilt, I put down my broom and walked over to meet her.

At a rapid pace – impressive for a woman of her age – she told me her life story. She is one of the “originals owners.” That’s one of three categories of people in our neighborhood: original owners, Chapman students or young families. She said she had moved here with her husband, who died many years ago. She talked about him with a broad smile and big animated motions. Then she told me her daughter and son-in-law lived with her. Her daughter has to use a cane to walk, but she is a wonderful daughter and gets around pretty well despite her handicap.

Her son-in-law, who has cancer and was in hospice, he too is wonderful, and the nurses and staff where he is are just wonderful and take good care of him.

As she spoke to me that morning one prevailing sentiment was repeated over and over – wonderful.

Life is wonderful according to Gertrude.

It’s obviously not perfect. She knows that, having experienced loss and disappointment, but it is still wonderful.

Every story she told, no matter the outcome, she always ended on a positive note.

Thinking she might be getting tired of standing out in the hot sun, and Tulia Pie pulling on her leash, I asked the “time to end this chat” question. But she didn’t bite and asked about me.

“I just moved here with my two kids,” I told her. “I’m divorced.” Oh she thought this was the perfect neighborhood for a divorcee – safe and friendly, with two former sheriff’s deputies on the street. “I work at the O.C. Register,” I continued. That is usually met with mixed reactions, but Gertrude thought that was … you guessed it, “Just wonderful!”

We said our goodbyes and I watched her walk away, she continue chatting, but now it was directed at Tulia Pie.

I’ve seen her most mornings since then. She has her routine. She is always dressed well, in pastel blue elastic-waist pants, a crisp cotton shirt with little flowers and white nurse-type shoes. If she needs it, she wears a light white sweater across her tiny shoulders like a shawl, clinging to her by one button. She walks confidently, but with grace and caution. She told me she used to walk miles every day, but after she fell a few years ago, her family will now only let her walk our cul-de-sac. So that’s what she does and it’s “wonderful” (naturally).

My Facebook feed is filled with pictures of sunsets or oceans with inspirational sayings splashed across them. Friends comment with things like, “So true” or “Good to remember” to even the most basic platitudes. Life coaching has become a $1 billion a year industry. One can download apps that send you daily affirmations, or that track your workout, or enable you to listen to podcasts of a favorite self-help book.

But I’m beginning to suspect that sweet Gertrude has the key to what we are all striving for, a happy life. It’s simple really; get out and exercise every day, have a positive attitude and a grateful heart, connect with your neighbors and community and, of course, own a dog.

I often find myself humming the song made popular when she was a young girl called “Look for the Silver Lining” when I see her.

“Look for the silver lining

When e'er a cloud appears in the blue

Remember somewhere the sun is shining,

And so the right thing to do,

Is make it shine for you”

She’s a constant reminder to me to check my attitude. As I’m hurrying my kids along in the morning, she passes my kitchen window and it makes me think of how quickly this time in my life will pass. As I pile the kids into the car, a mess of lunch boxes, unbrushed hair (we’ll brush it in the car) and backpacks I stop and say, “Good morning, Gertrude” and it instantly grounds me. I remember. Isn’t life wonderful?

“A heart, full of joy and gladness,

Will always banish sadness and strife

So always look for the silver lining,

And try to find the sunny side of life”

*Name changed to protect her privacy

Contact the writer:sbroughton@ocregister.com From my column in the Orange County Register. All rights belong to Orange County Register

March 01, 2014

I don’t know when it happened, but sometime in the last 10 years, people in their 20s became “kids” to me – as in, “Those kids in that band are so talented!” or “Kids today will never know the joy of getting the last VHS of a popular movie at the video store.” So, since Krochet Kids intl. was founded by three young men in their 20s, that name rings true to me.

Krochet Kids intl. started with Kohl Crecelius, Stewart Ramsey and Travis Hartanov. All three were high school friends from Spokane, Wash., who loved to – get this – knit and crochet. The trio went away to different colleges, but their passion for travel and volunteer work kept them tight. On a trip to Uganda, Ramsey was moved by the plight of the people there, who had been entangled in a 30-year civil war and left to live hopeless lives in refugee camps.

The three friends, joined by a new member of the pack – fellow knitter and college friend of Crecelius, Adam Thomson – decided to do something to help empower the women of Uganda. So they started Krochet Kids intl. in 2007.

The four “kids” turned to their unlikely pastime: knitting. They raised $30,000 by selling knitted caps and started a letter campaign. They then headed to Uganda armed with yarn and hooks, ready to teach their chosen art – and, more importantly, life skills – to a select group of women.

“The whole idea behind Krochet Kids is that we can equip women with the knowledge and the resources to eventually leave Krochet Kids and thrive,” Thomson told me on a recent tour of their ultra-hip studio headquarters located in Costa Mesa.

“We want to bring into our program the most vulnerable people and teach them a skill so that they can build their own savings and then, after three years in the program, go off and pursue their own business or continue their education.”

Six of the women recently completed their three-year program, and today they employ 165 women in Uganda and 35 in Peru. The women not only make caps – their adorable children’s knitted caps shaped like animals such as owls called “The Hoot” and a bear called “The Teddy” (Cue: “Awww!”) are worth a look – but a new spring collection offers even more variety. For instance women’s clutches, men’s ties and beautifully crafted t-shirts.

The great part about buying from Krochet Kids intl., aside from supporting and empowering women, is that each piece of clothing includes the signature of the women who created it.

Parents are encouraged to help their kids pop online and go to krochetkids.org. There, they can send a note to the women who made their product. What a great way to expand the worldview of Orange County kids! These local “kids” can help your kids make a difference with every purchase.