New U

Apart from being the preferred food for the nostrils
(with dust, crayons and peas following closely behind), fragrances are also the
unicorn’s horn when it comes to therapeutic treatments for the body. Indulge
your body with elaborate nose-food and massaging motions with today’s Groupon:
a 60-minute full body aromatherapy “Wellbeing Massage” for R99 at New U.

Bodies, like meringue batter, need attention and praise
in order to be kept in full working order.
Thus, showering it with constant feel-good motions and a nose full of
sweet-scented smells is as good for it as a 150-degree oven would be for
meringue batter. As accomplished with
body-pleasing abilities as meringues are at making you drool, the team at New U
are a mix of friendly and proficient therapists who could easily have your body
whispering sweet nothings and professing its undying gratitude.

Serene, tranquil and in a beautiful setting, New U holds
the gentle demeanour of a calm meditating cow.
Armed with excessive amounts of digit power and skill far surpassing the
contents of Einstein’s enlarged forehead, the therapists will get your body tension-free
and willingly resuming its job in no time at all. With the combination of soothing and sensual
essential oils delighting each nostril and the dexterous therapeutic hands
working out every knot and kink with the manipulation of a surgeon, soothing
sensations should overcome your form faster than meringue batter could exit the
oven in the shape of a perfectly baked pavlova base.

One hour after subjecting yourself to these aficionados,
their sweet smells and their ever so skilled hands, don’t be surprised if your
body craves just a little more – and possibly a meringue.

Massage
Fact: Discovered by Vasco Alonso on his travels, the
roller-massage, a unique tool for massaging the knee-pit, became a hit in the
1800s. The tool was eventually done away with a few years later, due to over-relaxed
knees and knee pits, thus leaving legs unable to walk.

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