Thursday, December 31, 2009

Last night, it was Atlanta's turn to do a little sleepwalking (18 total shots) as the Bruins won, 4-0. Rask had the shutout, but was barely challenged. The Bruins chased Pavelec from goal for the 2nd time in two weeks. Goals by Sturm, Bergeron, Bitz, Begin. Huge game by Sobotka - he's just a nut out there.random crap

The Hosers picked their Olympic team, they got Patrice Bergeron. They did not grab Savard, though. Savard may use this as fuel to play even more crazy (2 assists last night). I dunno. The Cole Harbour Hoser who sat next to me last night wondered out loud if the US team would even be able to beat Switzerland. OH! THE GAUNTLET HAS BEEN THROWN! Team USA is supposed to be announced after the Classic tomorrow.

Just watched the Bruins practice at Fenway on the NHL Network. They got Naoko doing the interviews. Most of them said it was kind of hard to pass the puck in the snow, but said the usual cliches. Savard was mic'd up, let out an exuberant "woo hoo!" when he jumped on the ice, said "this ice is better than the Garden, ay", and then started screaming, "Pucks! Can someone get me a puck? Need pucks, ay."

James Taylor to sing the US National Anthem tomorrow (the official troubadour of Fenway or something), and Daniel Powter ("Bad Day"), from Vancouver, BC, will be singing the Hoser Anthem. I think the Dropkicks are also supposed to play "Shipping Up To Boston" as well, but I don't know when.

World Juniors continue tonight - USA vs. Canada at 8pm. Watch it if only to witness the play of future Bruin/1st overall pick Taylor Hall.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Where's the consistency here? I thought the B's were turning it around, having won 8 out of 11 a few weeks ago. So far the only consistency I've seen is the well-documented, season-long scoring drought. Sure, NESN likes to put good spin on it (7 players with 7+ goals or some bologna like that) but I think we all know what they're shoveling. Despite yet another solid goaltending performance by Sir Tim Thomas, the B's sleepwalked thru the first 2 periods of Monday night's game in Tampa and lost, 2-1. Goal by Sturm, accompanied by a pretty angry Sturmface due to the non-call on Stamkos who pretty much broke Sturm's arms off with a hook about 2 minutes previous. Sturm's goal was the one peanut in the turd the Bruins dropped last night. Even a lifeless Bitz fight could not help the game. The Bruins turned in a fair effort against the Panthers on Sunday night, winning 2-1...but it's likely an early tee time won out over decent sleep, resulting in sluggish play on Monday.random crap

Holy Shit. The Blake Wheeler suck-fest continues unabated. Zero goals in his last 13 games, folks. I think the league's caught on to the not-so-tricky self-pass off the boards that he performs on those rare times when he's actually on-side.

How about them WB Mason commercials? That There Will Be Blood WB Mason guy's got more pancake on him than Tammy Faye Bakker. Thing is, as far as I know, WBM's cornered the market on office supplies in the region. So chill out WBM. And I don't like your commercials.

How about them Men's Wearhouse commercials? "You're gonna like the way you look." That dude's voice is so low, I could grate parmesan with it. He should not be pimping suits, he should be on radio. Imagine him announcing goals, etc. at games? I sense, though, his sub-sonic delivery would shake the concrete loose from the FleetGarden roof right onto the rink.

No real fights for the Bruins these days. Last night featured a rather weak fight between Lord Bitz and Tampa Bay's 4th line center/noble gas, Zenon Konopka. It was Konopka's 16th? fighting major. Bitz just doesn't have the mean streak required for those fights. The fight started after a faceoff, Bitz got two hooks in, and Konopka got the takedown. I think Konopka wanted more. Seriously, someone needs to piss in the Bruins' Wheaties NOW.

Quoth Minnesota the other day, "it's not how you start, it's how you finish".

The other night vs. the Thrash, Row 12 actually sat in Row 11, and almost got into a fight with Row 10. Row 10 was hootin' and hollerin' about Wheels, Row 12 said something like "Blake Wheeler is awesome!" just for fun and Row 10 retorted, "yah because he likes men like you?". Comeback of the year right there, kiddo. You really dug deep for that one.

Row 11'er brought his brother to the game, who follows the Sharks. I was tempted to make loud choking sounds after he admitted this, but I didn't want to make him cry 2 days before xmas.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

At the request of the Mayor, my sister submitts her interpretation of the events of the past 2 games. My sister sits in non-cheering, hifalutin area known as Loge 4.

"I said to my husband the other night "Did you think, at all, ever, just once, last year while watching the Boys that Phil Kessel would b e wearing another uniform?"

"Nope. Not in a million years."

And you know what's funny? Funny, funny, not funny-haha? I actually liked the Maple Leafs. While visiting Toronto in the past, I remember going into a Maple Leaf sorta pro-shop type store (Queen's Quay, I think it's called. Some mall by the water. And it's pronounced "key", not "KWAY"--This, I learned, making an arse out of myself. Which is a common occurrence.) and considering the purchase of souvenirs. I even have this sick 'n twisted respect for the chinless Tomas Kaberle, and the way he breaks the targets in the goal during the skills competition at the All Star Game.

But now--essh with Phil Kessel... yuck, I get the dizzies just thinking about it. I loathe them now. And those annoying striped socks.

I like the way the Boys knock Phyllis Kessel all around the rink as if they scored 100 points for ringing his bell. I like the way the Boys prevent Miss Kessel from getting shots off or from attempting to execute some form of offensive attack. I wonder if he goes into the locker room during intermission and sobs. Do his shoulders shake with fury? Does he burst into angry tears? Does he run, arms flailing, to the dressing area and throw himself on the bench, screaming "leave me alone!!!"?

I hated seeing Tuukka Rask let that puck slip by him. I watched it over and over. That kind of mishandling (and I want to avoid the word "mistake" here) just givers me the shivers. Why? Because it reminds me of ME. Please note: NHL goalies, even rookie ones, should never EVER remind me of me.

Kessel-mania IV isn't until February? March? When? Long time from now, that's all that matters. I'm tired of watching the only woman (Sid Crosby is technically classified as female infant) in the NHL.

Bruins vs. Ottawa:

Or as Jack would say "Ottahwaaah". (oh and Jack: don't be catty with Carrie and Mike Fisher because it's just ugly and...odd. Leave that to ME...see below). So we started with some shifting in the lines. Begin was teamed up with Savard and Sturm. Wheeler with Krejci and Ryder. "I made all this Paella" played with Bergeron and Recchi. And Thornton had fun in the sandbox with Sobotka and Bitzy. I know I cried buckets with Begin arrived, but I have been temporarily cured of my fear of Begin. He is FEISTY. What on earth is on Ryders' mind? Is it hockey? Is it Santa Claus, or the Newfie equivalent? The game against the Maple Leafs--he whiffed on a gentle pass from Savard that Helen Keller could have seen. Last night, Krejci made a lovely pass to Ryder and it went nowhere. Did you see that delicious hit on Ruutu by McQuaid?? Third period brought us a Bergeron goal, a pretty one from Sturm, and a shutout for Timmy. Oh nice, very nice. More of these, please. And I want Cload to keep these lines. I wanna see more.

Oh and some info for folks out there wondering where the Wives Carnival is. Husband went to Fan Relations and demanded to know when Wives Carnival is. Fan Relations said that the Bruins are too busy with Winter Classic to do Wives Carnival. Husband served up some guilt and reminded Fan Relations rep that the Wives Carnival raises a ton of bucks for charity. Husband also asked why there was no STH Fanatic Meet 'n Greet this year. Fan Relations rep said that Winter Classic Legends game took the place of that. Oh.

Oh, and one final thing: Congratulations to Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher. Nice to see the Legitimization of Puck Sluts, even famous ones. Where is the darling bride-to-be registered?"

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Bruins hung around last night, scored some opportunistic goals around the crease (with some help from the 'Hawks goaltender - he was awful at controlling rebounds)...Krejci scored 2, and Paella & Boychuk scoring the others. Chicago's depth in the shootout, however, is pretty, uh, deep. Bergeron & Wheeler were stopped in the shootout. I think Thomas played pretty well - the B's were under assault a lot of the time - but blown coverages and bad passes led to some of those Chicago goals. The Bruins seem to play differently (i.e., worse) in front of Thomas than in front of Rask. I dunno.random crap:

Matt Hunwick was back at defense, plus Wozniewski played - wearing #44 - which reminds me not of Danny Ainge but of Wes Gardner.

Winter Classic Tickets and Winter Classic Legends tickets have arrived. With the media blitz starting yesterday, I have to admit I'm getting somewhat pumped up for this event.

Kessel-mania III tonight - Bruins in Toronto this time. I sense Kessel will have a better game than the 2 in Boston, but the Bruins should still win tonight. BONUS: I hope Jack Edwards quaffs a huge stein of Kessel-flavored haterade before tonight's game and spews some vitriol over the airwaves.

I hope there are some beatdowns tonight. Maybe even a line brawl. Toronto's just the right bunch of thugs we need to face to glue this team together. Look for Savvy to do one of his patented two-handed slashes to the back of the knee when the ref's not looking. Then he'll chase after the smallest dude on the ice and rabbit punch him when he's prone.

Last night, Jack/Brick had to remind us of the Brandon Bochenski for Kris Versteeg trade.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

There was good news and bad news today regarding the two Minnesotans on the Bruins roster. First, the bad news: as the morale officer said, I am inconsolable after the loss of "Caveman" Mark Stuart for 4-6 weeks. The last time this guy wasn't in the lineup, Dave Lewis was the coach of the Bruins. This injury will also prevent him from bowling with his fellow cavemen which I know he really enjoys.

The good news is Blake Wheeler is no longer on the first line. It's about time. You're thinking, "Why doesn't he like Wheeler? Young player from his home state. Good potential and good size for the NHL." No, as I said to the morale officer a few weeks back, I think Blake Wheeler will have the career trajectory of Landon Wilson (another 1st round draft pick who was drafted highly because of his size). Here's to hoping the Bruins do not extend him and move on after this season. Blake Wheeler was also a member of the Golden Gophers (the rodents); hated rivals of my UMD Bulldogs. In another Blake Wheeler development, a new Section 311 STH in Row 10 has surfaced as charter member of the "Wheeler's Worthless Club." This guy, who sits right in front of us, screams at Wheeler every time he touches the puck. This has no effect on Wheeler from Section 311, Row 10, but this guy continues to do it and his hatred for Wheels must far exceed mine. It is also a good conversation starter as, much like last year in the playoffs when I was voicing my displeasure with Wheels before he was finally benched, people turn around and say, "What's wrong with Wheeler?" Claude knows and I think Peter does too. He already extended Lucic and Rask and I hope Stuart isn't far behind, but let Wheels go. The Wheeler-hater in Row 10 loses points though, as he and his girlfriend/wife leave early nearly every night.

Getting back to hockey, Claude is putting Ryder and Sturm up with Savvy. This is a much needed change. Savvy was being wasted on a line with Wheels and Bitz. As much as I love Bitz, and all of Section 311 loves Bitz, he is not a first-line player. This really showed on Monday - he had been holding his own, but Byron would probably tell you himself, that he didn't show up on Monday and forced Claude to make the change. I still love you Bitzy - this doesn't change that.

Bruins iron-man and personal favorite of the contributor known as "Minnesota" Mark Stuart has been felled by a broken breastbone, suffered during the Bruins' loss to Philly the other night. Apparently, Stuart will be out 4-6 weeks. He had previously played some 214 consecutive games.Boychuk, McQuad, and Wozniewski to the rescue. I guess.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Maybe it's now a good thing that the B's will meet the Flyers on New Year's for the Classic. Remember how we all bitched and moaned...the Flyers? Really? What happened to the Canadiens? Even the Rangers maybe? Well now the boys in black and gold may have something to play for. The Flyers are now 5-0-1 in their last 6 at the TD "Garden". Perhaps a home change of venue will make a difference? Stay tuned I guess.

A stalemate first period, though the B's looked pretty decent. Timmy did appear shaky for a bit, but did put in a pretty nice effort. Maybe he's hurt more than we think? Maybe Tuuka's play is getting into his head? I don't know, I'm not going to pretend to know. The only thing I know is that this is NOT the Vezina Thomas we all know and love.

The Sobotka "Non-Goal" sent me through the roof. I knew a loss was coming after that. B's shot out to a one goal lead shortly after, but still that feeling of "we are getting screwed in this game" set in right after the no goal call.

Kimmo Timonen, really? Really? I didn't know he was still alive. That third period was dreadful. Just awful, and Wideman wasn't even on the ice. Can you imagine that he had any effect on the outcome at all? Think what would happen without Chara. When Jack said Wideman wouldn't be coming out at all for the third, I said "Ok, we've got a shot at this one!" Boy was I wrong, again. I really hope that Claude beaned Wideman off the head with a stool or something during the intermission.

What a (^%#$(@*& terrible game. Random crap:

Carolina releases Aaron Ward. He's now available at half price. Will Chiarelli roll the dice Mr. Mayor? Wardo is the proud owner of the 4th worst +/-'s in the league at -15, probably because he was on the worst team in the NHL but he is also 36 years old.

Toucher and Rich this morning were very excited at the prospect of Wardo's return, so they can add him back on Ward Wednesdays which has now become White Guy Wednesdays with Brian Scalabrine (or however you spell it). I'd be excited too.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The B's lost, 3-2 last night in OT. Yeah, the got a point and played a pretty decent game, but it is disappointing to lose when you've outplayed your opponent all night. Goals by Ryder & Krejci. Ryder's was a nice wrist shot from about 30' away, using the d-man as a screen. Rolo never saw it. Krejci's on a tip-in on a nice cross-crease pass from Ryder. All that said, the B's are 8-1-2 in their last 11, so I guess there's no reason to complain. But there is.random crap

Is Blake Wheeler colorblind? This guy just does not see the blue line. He is usually good for 3 or 4 offside infractions per game. Especially frustrating now that he's skating with Savard.

Nassau Coliseum. Holy shit, this place makes the Worcester Centrum look like a palace. I don't think they have luxury boxes, they got an old-school setup (as pointed out by Jack/Brick last night), plus it hosts the Islanders and their sad-sack fans. Didja SEE the 2 chicks behind the Islander bench last night? WOOF. In the hierarchy of sad-sack hockey fans, Islander fans rank 3rd behind Whaler fans and Jets fans.

I don't know who is worse at not hitting the net - Wideman or Ference. I think Wideman for now. I'd like to know the stats on Wideman/Ference shots vs. SOG

Spongetech? Did you read the ads on the boards last night? Yeah, you get your typical Dunkin' Donuts, or Geico, or whatever. But Long Island, they got Spongetech, you see. "The smarter sponge". They got SpongeBob SquarePants in their corner, plus they got me going to their website to figure out what's the big deal about some sponge. So who is the idiot now?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Bruins pounded the Leafs again, 5-2 on Thursday night. The game was actually a lot closer than the score indicates, as it was 3-2 throughout most of the 3rd period, with a big momentum shift towards the Leafs after they scored 2 quick goals after the 2nd intermission. Goals by "Caveman Strong" Mark Stuart (the contributor known as "Minnesota" has indicated that Stuart is his favorite player, "Geico: So easy, Mark Stuart can do it"), Derek Morris (he still sucks. Can't play defense. He's a pylon out there.), Krejci (super sweet breakaway goal - Toskala got smoked. THE MATRIX IS BACK!), and 2 late, clutch goals by the Recchin Ball.Kessel was, once again, left off the scoresheet. The anti-Kessel fervor was still high, as the fans now believe that Kessel can't handle the booing. KPD slapped Kessel around in this article, it is recommended reading. KPD also wrote about the Bruins not missing Kessel back in October in the New England Hockey Journal. It is finally available here. Check it out, it's pretty good.random crap

Apparently, huge fight in Section 304. Minnesota called it "the fight of the year".

Monday, December 7, 2009

The Bruins put forth an excellent effort to slap the Maple Laffs down Saturday night, 7-2. Savvy got a hat trick (the crowd seemed confused, and weren't sure if he got the trick or not), Bitz himself got 2 assists, so hopefully the world is back to normal. The B's are 7-1-1 in their last 9, and the league whipping boys come back Thursday for a re-match ("Kessel-mania II").Oh yeah, some punkass named Kessel returned. Got 2 SOG, was -3 and got an assist on Chara's goal. The chants & boos were fun. I rather enjoyed the return of Phil'n the Villain, to hear the crowd attack him with boos.I personally think the team took great umbrage at Kessel being a weenie over the summer and into training camp. In the Ottawa-based blog "Down Goes Brown", author Sean McIndoe wondered at the beginning of the season, "Will chemistry suffer now that entire team is no longer united by their desire to punch Phil Kessel in the face?" I'd have to say "no" - they're still using the punkassness of Kessel as a unifying force - I think experiencing playing against him made them step up their game.The icing on the cake was, of course, former Maple Laff prospect Tuukka Rask being a total slut in net, stopping over 30 shots. Everyone kinda got lazy towards the end of the game, waiting for it to finish, and that's when Toronto got their garbage-time goals.random crap

Heard in the stands, "wow, we just make this organization [Toronto] our bitch."

Former Toronto property Brad Boyes with 7-9-16 totals with the St. Louis Blues. I think I'll have to form a list of players who don't suck who used to play in the Toronto system, and aren't there anymore, just as a demonstration of JFJ's asshattery.

Jay Leach has been picked up now by the San Jose Sharks. Good for K-Tap, as Jay is now chasing the dream in Worcester with the Sharks as opposed to the Hamilton Bulldogs (MTL's AHL affiliate).

Kid who sat next to me fell down twice trying to leave his seat. He tried the old, "I-don't-want-to-bother-the-row-I'm-in-so-I'll-step-on-the-chair-in-the-row-in-front-of-me-and-go-thru-that-row" spiel. No dice. He fell. We laughed.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Don't look now, but your favorite hockey team is 6-0-1 in their last 7 games. It certainly doesn't feel like it, with all of the shootouts and stuff.

Last night, the B's beat the Lightning, 4-1. The line of Bergeron, Sturm, and Recchi was insane. Thomas was also nuts, stopping 38 or so shots. Okay, I'm too lazy to check the box score to publish any real numbers.

Watch the drama unfold on Saturday, as Phil Kessel comes back to Boston. I predict that he will be booed lustily. Maybe some B's fans will take it to the gutter and throw batteries at him, Philly-style. Either way, I don't think he'll be greeted nicely. More on this Saturday.

The contributor known as Minnesota is really hating Wheels these days: "He reminds me of Landon Wilson - same body type, same skill set, same number". Landon Wilson ("land of the lost" according to KPD) disappeared in Europe for awhile, but resurfaced in North America recently by signing with the Dallas Stars. He currently plays for the Texas Stars in the AHL. We'll try to have the Mayor grab his autograph someday.