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Seven Modest Outfits from the Golden Globes

Sometimes it feels like “modest Hollywood” is an oxymoron. But this year, the stars at the Golden Globes proved that you can be modest even while putting on your swankiest get-up to get hammered and congratulate your filthy rich, extravagant selves on just being your filthy rich, extravagant selves. We at ZD tip our hats to these modest stars!

Look how Beau Bridges’ baggy pants leave everything about his legs to the imagination! We’re proud of you for resisting the pressure to tailor your $200,000 suit. Modesty in action. (Yeah, we’re looking at you, Jonah Hill.)

Usher, your understated diamond brooch really completes this totally modest formal look that cost several times more than most of our cars. (It’s too bad your hand tattoos mean you’re a terrible person and must be shunned.)

Nothing says “modesty” like a $35,000 green velvet tuxedo jacket! Way to cover up those glorious pecs, McConaughey.

James’ Spader’s enormous cummerbund is like the opposite of a bare midriff.

Michael Fassbender’s sunglasses and beard really go the extra mile in modestly not showing skin! Still, this just gets a %90 on the modesty curve– if only he’d gotten some mittens so his large manly sexy hands wouldn’t have just been hanging out there reminding us how also large and manly and sexy his [REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED]

Nick Offerman’s gentle masculine modesty is beautifully accentuated by how Megan Mullaly is basically dressed like a streetwalker.

No one, especially not the supermodels he’s taken on extravagant private island getaway vacations, could ever accuse Leo of immodesty!

Yeah, you need to take this post down ASAP because it is causing all kinds of impure thoughts. To wit: the space between the caption under Nick Offerman and Megan Mullaly and the picture of Leonardo DiCaprio clearly represents the warm welcome of a supermodel’s vagina. When you look at Leo’s face, you know he’s thinking about it.

When you post pictures of Leo, his tacit thoughts are YOUR responsibility. Shame on all Zelophehad’s wanton offspring.

Yeah, Lisa, I left Idris Elba off of this list for a reason. If that man is going to insist on going around showing his whole face in public, no one is going to be convinced that he’s modest, no matter how many expensive imported faux-disheveled suits he wears over the rest of his body.

I took a look at the LDS Living article and thought that a lot of Mormons would consider Jessica Lange’s dress too deep-cut, and Zoey Dechanel’s dress has such a wide neck and large sleeve openings that it wouldn’t work well with garments. I laughed when I saw Julia Roberts–she looks like all the Mormon girls I’ve ever seen wear a shirt under an evening gown to cover up more.

Well, Melyngoch, I appreciate this heart-warming display of modesty, but the various uncovered body parts or close-fitting garments still send my mind to places it shouldn’t go. Which is why I’m very appreciative of some of the efforts of my work colleagues to be more modest.