It’s difficult and painful to realize that you have been wearing a mask for a long time, not really being as authentic as you should have been. It does not matter if the mask was worn unintentionally; what matters is finding the courage to admit that you need to change and to be real in your calling, a true steward of the God-given task appointed to you.

In my case, I looked back over the last 13 years since I was ordained to preach, and I finally understood that I was not doing what God called me to do, mostly out of fear and anxiety at getting it wrong and causing eternal damage. Yes, there is a more private way to address this issue which would not mean putting my business in the streets for all manners of people to judge me, but, I hope my story will help someone else move forward in their calling in more authentic, less frightened, and more timely ways.

I have been ordained since 2005, and I have served at several churches in associate minister positions, but I have never really investigated what it means to be called to preach God’s Word. I have not attended seminary or even a Bible college. My PhD is in a secular subject: Sociology. I have been more of a Sunday preacher, occasionally adding Wednesday night services. I have worn the clerical collars and robes, looking the part, mimicking the actions of the more senior ministers, preaching when asked to “bring the message.”

My sermons have been well-received, with one very enthusiastic listener declaring, “You were born to preach!” I was thankful to be thought capable of my calling, maybe a little more needy of the praise than was healthy. It is so easy to get enamored of the praise, deference, and reverence that accompany having Reverend in front of your name, especially in the Black church where pastors are sometimes nearly seen as just shy of being God.

I fully understand why Jesus scolded the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees for loving “to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues. They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.'”(Matthew 23:6-7). It is a needed lesson for every person called by God to serve His people, for we sometimes crave the approval and praise of others as a means to understanding our own worth. And, unless we are mentored by other ministers with servant hearts, we can lose our way and simply play the part without understanding the parameters of the task and the enormity of what we are called to do. We simply wear our masks and no one is the wiser.

But, after accepting an invitation to become an associate pastor, a position that will require me to preach and teach a lot more than I ever have, I had to stop and think if I were really prepared to be in a leadership position that requires me to take responsibility for the salvation and eternal resting place of those whom I will teach. I simply performed a deep Biblical study when I was going to preach or when I taught Sunday School, or for this blog, especially for Psalm Wednesdays (which will continue next week).

This week, as I read the book, Stewards of The Story: The Task of Preaching, by Rev. Dr. James Earl Massey, I realized the degree to which I have not been a good steward of the call on my life. I understand that I must no longer act the part of a preacher, I must be a preacher. I must put the things of God first in my life, because so many people do not read the Bible for themselves, so it is imperative that preachers know what they are telling people. Dr. Massey states, “As stewards of The Word, ‘The Story,’ we are expected to study the scriptures in order to know them, and to understand the Scriptures in order to utilize them properly….’a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly explaining the word of truth'” (p. 8).

I have spent thirteen years being afraid to get it wrong, especially because I had no seminary training. Yet, some of the best preaching I have heard and read were by people who had no university or college training. They, like me, relied on the Holy Spirit to help them understand God’s words and used their own personal experiences as fodder for stories to illustrate biblical concepts in ways that they hoped resonated with their audience.

For me, real preaching is about helping people know the character and unfailing love of God and His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, while giving them an assurance that God is with them every step of the way. The Bible Scriptures that helps me understand my calling and allows me to take off the my mask is Isaiah 46: 3-5:

Listen to me, descendants of Jacob,all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born.Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you.I will carry you along and save you. “To whom will you compare me?Who is my equal?

To be authentic in our callings, absent the masks, requires us to demonstrate the courage to ask for help and to be earnest enough to know what you do not know, for no one can perform their tasks well without the proper knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. I will be spending more time reading preaching books and other materials that will allow me to perform my calling in the right way and with the right motives. I will acknowledge my fears and seek out pastors and learn from them the positives and negatives of leading God’s people. I want to be a wise and faithful steward of God who called me, so that when Jesus returns He might find me doing His good will.

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Published by isaiah46ministries

Regina Davis-Sowers was ordained in August 2005, and I earned my doctorate in Sociology in 2006. I consider myself a teacher, above all else, that wants to help people examine God's word, so that they can understand how it pertains to their lives and have their faith created or sustained. Rev. Regina writes her blog, the Hope for Tomorrow posts, and the Bible Study.
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26 thoughts on “Taking Off the Mask: Being Real in my Calling”

I am not a religious person in the sense that I claim any particular religion, church, or faith to belong to…I prefer a more global and personal approach to such matters, but I do certainly understand being called to something that you don’t feel completely ready for. Some days I really wonder why I am on the path that I am because I seem to be failing spectacularly at it lately, but then I remind myself that it’s not over yet and maybe I am just stuck in the doldrums. I think your new position is fantastic and I am sure you will excel at it! Remember though as you read other’s opinions of what to do, that you have made it thus far doing what you felt was right. Don’t ever lose that. 🙂

If you felt totally adequate for the Associate Pastor position, you would not need to rely on God. So many times, God has called me to do things that were impossible without his help. Then the only way I could make it was to lean on Abba God and follow the Holy Spirit’s leading and ask for God’s help. I relate to your speaking of fear, keeping you from your calling. Fear paralyzes and keeps one from fulfilling one’s destiny. Fear is the devil’s tool to keep the redeemed from knowing how powerful they are, because they are living inside of Christ Jesus. The flesh is dead and Christ lives through them. It is scary to get of the boat like Peter and walk on water. (The rest of the disciples stayed in the boat and got no challenge to their faith.) Peter did fine until he got his focus off the Lord Jesus and onto the gale force winds and the high waves. Yet when he called to the Lord, for help, Jesus was right there pulling him out of the water and chiding him for having little faith. God does not give you a vision, without giving you ample provision for fulfillment of the vision. You have years of trusting God through many trials that would have made others quit. Instead, you kept getting up and trusting God. Your testimony of how the Lord brought you through, is what will encourage others. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb, the word of our testimony and do not love our lives so much that we shrink from death. (Revelation 12:11) God doesn’t call the wise, but uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. Then God gets all the glory because we can’t do it without him. (1 Corinthians 1:25-31). When we are weak, God is strong for us. The people in the Bible were ordinary people with many flaws, but when they surrendered to God’s will, they did mighty things for God. The apostles were not ones that were educated in the religious system. Instead they were fishermen, tax collector, a zealot, ordinary people who were changed because they spent time with Jesus and received the Holy Spirit. You will do fine, Regina, as you follow the call of God on your life. God has sustained you through many storms and will be with you now. It is so good you are following the voice of Jesus and getting out of the boat! With Jesus, you have the victory! Congratulations for getting out of the boat!

I have so much respect for the wisdom you share here. You are a beautiful woman, from your smile to your soul. I am sure you read and reread this before you hit publish….and I am glad you posted it. Beautiful written and a picture of your authentic self. Donna.

While I admire your humility, I would also say that a lack of formal training can sometimes mean a more unique and insightful view. Follow your heart before, and in addition to, those you view as more senior. Yours may be a more helpful view for those to whom you preach – after all, their world may be closer to yours than that of your seniors

Regina, we don’t know each other but you’ve been kind enough to reply on some of my blog posts. I don’t read as much as I’d like, but came upon your piece today and felt driven to comment. I love your humility, strength, and grace. It seems clear that the place from which you are preaching is exactly the place Jesus has placed you: learning, growing, feeling the sense of responsibility for the people that He Himself carried. Thank you for being a worthy shepherd, and for making a daily practice of connecting with God so that His love and wisdom can flow through you to the people. You’re being called from the Coach to join the Game in a whole new way, and how wonderful!

Regina, your words are not only on time, but they are literally a mirror of what I was walking through concerning being a teacher of the Word. Thank you for showing us your servant’s heart, your call to preach, and your desire to study and be a rightful teacher of God’s Word.
Thank you oh so much, friend for this encouraging post. I definitely needed this.

Your heart is so genuine, authentic–my eyes fill with tears reading your words, so surely the Holy Spirit is ministering through you to encourage all of us. May God protect and bless you–keeping you both hungry for more of Him, and filled each day. Much love to you, “just a sheep, loved by the Shepherd”, Ennle ❤