As I go through life walking on a tight rope, I write in my journal, and share a few of the entries here- sometimes personal, sometimes intense, sometimes stupid, occasionally funny…but honest nonetheless

Friday, August 2, 2013

Choices

Life is queer at times. Sometimes, even though you know your goals, you end up making the wrong choices. And it may take a long time for you to realize that. For a long time, you might be disillusioned into thinking that your choice is leading you to your goal. But then, after a long time in the darkness, it suddenly hits you. That you've been lost all along. That you had made the wrong choice. Then suddenly everything seems dark. You wish you could alter that choice you made. You wish you could go back in time and make your decision all over again. But life isn't like that.So what do you do then? initially, you feel lost for a while. But then what? Are you going to fill your days with regret, sorrow, and self pity ? Or will you try to change things? But how, you may ask. What if its not possible. What about all those external expectations from friends family and society? Will you see this as life hitting a brick at you or will you see this epiphany as an opportunity to make amends? You'll probably hear from a lot of people, "it'll all work out okay in the end. Just work hard" or if you're like me, you might cuddle into your bed, get your iPod out and get goosebumps hearing Steve jobs tell you to do what you love and discard everything else. Well, you may feel inspired for a while. But then what? You still won't know what to do? It's not that easy to suddenly change to doing things just the way you want. It just doesn't happen that easily and practice. You need direction. You need planning. Often times, because of the irreversibility of the choice you made, you may have to compromise on something. You may have to sacrifice certain things that are important to you, but less important than your real goal. I'm not going to tell you that follow your heart and everything is going to be okay. I'm no one to say that. I don't know for sure if it will be okay. I just hope that it might be. Because that's all I have. And you need something to hold on to, something that leads you, that drives, that shows you direction. Something that enables you to feel alive for another day, that helps you go through another day. It's just this vague hope that guides you through the dark caves, the hope that soon, you will emerge out of the darkness and find light, find direction, a road-map that you had been missing all along that will lead you to your goals.