As Team USA slides ever further behind China in the race to acquire the most gold necklaces this Olympics, America's athletes need a cheerleader. A cheerleader who will root for them with passion that is unbridled, unrivaled, and, at times, unsettling. A cheerleader who loves them more than their parents do.

Samuel L. Jackson's Twitter page is, above all, an excitable place. It's a place bursting with pride: for Americans, for athletes, for humans in general.

With CAPSLOCK, exclamation points!, and the insertion of variations of the word "motherfucking" into the middle of various no-mohfukking-uns, Jackson creates an M. C. Escher-esque quarantine zone of Olympic fever, where nationalism mixes with joy on top of adrenaline that is walking upside down on a sideways staircase next to glory.

Even when a rare misstep by Team USA causes Samuel L. Jackson's lips to pucker—for a moment—with the bitter taste of defeat, he remains unflaggingly positive, focusing not on the loss at hand, but the excitement of sport:

It's hard to identify which sport is Jackson's favorite, since it seems from the tweets like every sport is his favorite. But his very very super special number one absolute favorite might be women's gymnastics.

Samuel L. Jackson displays an insider's familiarity with the women's gymnastics. Here he is praising the U.S. "GYMUPHUGGINASTERS"' performance on balance beam — the event considered by many gymuphugginasters to be the most difficult in competition:

He can even speak knowledgeably about Women's Olympic Gymnastics: A History. Here, Jackson observes that the balance of power has shifted since the glory days of Romanian power-coach Béla Károlyi, and also that he is sleepy:

Bout to shut it down. Looks like Romania ain't what it used to be...in gymnastics. prolly gon fall asleep to that White Water Kayaking!