I had one personal blog, which I updated religiously during my glory days of my youth also known as the good ol’ college days. I had so much things to talk about, holy crap! I told everyone (okay, no one–it’s not like I had a big readership asides from a handful of friends) about what food I ate, which friend I had dinner with, what I did in class, etc. To me, it was the most exciting thing ever!

(Seriously, at one point in time I had like 3 friends who read my blog with so much damn devotion, thinking about it makes me realize how idiotic they were for actually liking the crap I wrote. Bless them.)

I also had a fanfiction blog (gasp!) on Livejournal, which I totally loved. It was the first time I discover that it was quite easy to tweak a webpage and I could customize it to my likings and, oh my, I think I found my love for minimalistic themes back then. Other blogging platforms also included Blogspot and WordPress, both of them did suck, in my opinion, because none of the themes looked like the preview (unless you paid of the full option, so I discovered, damn you). Don’t mind me, it’s just the frustrated nerd inside of me speaking.

Back then it was so easy to write and read stories that exceeded 10k word count. I could write a whole essay about my breakfast complete with pictures and (horrible) puns.

I stopped updating my personal blog a while ago. Fine, maybe a tad longer than a while ago.

Now we have Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc where you are forced to fit your entire life story into a fixed amount of characters. How do I tell people how awesome (okay, boring) my day was in a handful of words?

Don’t you realize the pain and horror of splitting up a story in multiple tweets, just because you don’t want to use Twitlonger because it requires you to go to their webpage and, dear lord, who has time to do all of these things? I just want one internet invention that does everything from updating people about my day to making me scrambled eggs in the morning. Is that too much to ask?

Also, how do I tell the wittiest story in a Snapchat message without the words covering my well-thought-out picture? How do I convey a story accompanying my Instagram picture without scaring people away when they see the massive block of text right under that picture? Do you even realize the importance of double tapping and gaining likes?

And that’s the thing with all these social media slash micro blog apps. In an era of a single picture and oneliner update, where on earth do you find the time or, even more importantly, the attention span to read a whole essay about someone’s thoughtfully put together OOTD or vegan gluten free super food unicorn dust miracle salad?

I follow a couple of dozens fashion blogs on Bloglovin, and, honestly, I only look at the pictures. Pictures are usually spot on if there is a pictoresque landscape, a very attractive person, or a well composed scene in it. I barely read the blog text, because, let’s be real, nobody got time for the same rehashed BS about some sponsored clothing item they happened to stumble upon and fell in love with it on first sight.

That’s the problem with most blogs nowadays. The intended limitations of these new platforms, our unsatisfying craving for new daily content, and attention spans goldfishes would be jealous of make it impossible to impress the anons of the world wide web anymore if you don’t catch their attention with well-thought-out pictures and 5 lines of text that explains your whole life story.

So, why I am starting a new blog then? Because I am under the impression that I can somehow awaken my punny side once again and just blog about anything and everything I feel like, because, damn it, ain’t nobody got time to write 10 seperate tweets about the pizza I ate for dinner, which made me nauseous because.so.much.calories!

It is okay to listen to teenybopper music (as a fully-functioning adult).

Hi, 27 and (insert teenybopper artist) enthusiast!

Cue all the people x-ing out of my social media profile page and blocking me.

We all have our guilty pleasures, no need to deny it, and mine’s listening to cute, skinny boys singing about the sorrows and joys of life as a teenager. Hah. No shame whatsoever.

And you shouldn’t be ashamed about it, either, because what’s better than waking up on a dreary Sunday morning (more like noon, but whatever) and lying in a warm, cosy bed listening to music none of your adult friends and family seem to appreciate except for those underaged relatives? Amiright? You know I’m right.

Even though most teenagers know nothing about the struggles of real life, but they sure do know the pains of unrequited love and the joys of falling in love with that person you’ve been waiting for all your life, as One Direction likes to sing in multiple songs.

I grew up during the 90s and early 00s, which, in my (not so) humble opinion, was the best era ever. Ever. And not only music-wise. I like to think that my peers were the last generation to truly enjoy things before the internet hit us hard and we all evolved into youth and young adults with smartphone thumbs and the attention span goldfishes would be jealous of. You know, the generation that actually knew what daylight looked like and the smell of grass and fresh air.

I remember playing outside in the snow with no coat on, because, you know, young and fearless. Riding bikes and building fortresses. Swimming in the lake. Actually meeting neighbourhood children in the playground instead of accidently bumping into their Tinder account or Facebook spying on them.

I also remember walkmans and discmans before the rise of mp3 players. Bulky computer and television screens. Dial-up internet access (shudders)! Phones the size of a brick (Nokia 3310 were the bomb, no doubt about it). First generation gameboys and Pokémon. Going to the library for book reports, because what the hell was Google?

I could give you a hundred more (un)biased reasons why the 90s were awesome.

Music-wise, it was the golden era for pop music. Everyone was so innocent-looking and cute and nice (in the end it was just really good marketing, hah). Britney Spears before her psychological meltdown. Christina Aguilera before she decided to go dirty (loved that era, too, to be honest). Also, boy and girlband galore! Backstreet Boys! *NSYNC! Spice Girls! On audio tapes! Oh my!

Can you feel my excitement? I know you can.

Despite the 90s being a somewhat forgotten era by the youth of the modern age, girl and boybands are still a thing. Lucky me. Now I don’t have to reminisce the days in which I could still get away with wearing over the knee socks and booty shorts, but instead I could just browse the wonders of Youtube and Spotify to look for fresh blood to satisfy my craving for songs about the woes and sorrows of being a teenager. She broke my heart because she was in love with someone else. Oh no! I partied too hard and now I can’t remember the girl I made out with last night. Poor you!

Let’s be real, so much better than singing about unpaid bills and dental appointments and everything else adults are supposed to do. The horrendous truth that is bank loans and insurances. (Future) children issues. Finding the perfect man when you’re mid-twenty (does 27 count as mid-twenty?) and everyone else seems to already have their itinerary for the next sixty years.

(But that’s a story for next time.)

No, instead let me sing along to young boys lamenting about broken hearts and unrequited love and partying too hard in my head as I nod and agree with my 40+ year old colleague about how children nowadays have no respect and how everything was much better back then.