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Thursday, 9 May 2013

Random Annoying Work Foolishness

I am tired and worn from the fallout of sheer bullshit
that happened last week.

We had a case, it was long, it was complex and it was
clearly going to be something that wasn’t going to get resolved for many many
months. Fair enough and the customers were moderately decent people all things
considered and only making it a little harder than it had to be. But they
moved, to Birmingham, and since we’d only started what promised to be a long
haul process all parties decided it would be better for them to find a firm in
Brummie land.

Case leaves my hands and is passed on to Arsehole the
paralegal to work with said Brummie firm, to transfer various things that need
transferring, get any local documents or resources or information, ensure
copies are certified et al.

And it’s out of my hands. Completely.

In fact more than completely because we need a little
history for Paralegal Arsehole here

I’ve mentioned him in passing in the past, he’s the
nephew of Senior Partner #2. We hired him because he had this very important
qualification of being a relative of the boss; we certainly didn’t need another
paralegal.

Paralegal Arsehole is a man of devout religious beliefs
and oft-expressed Views about gay people. Sparky is a man of firm personal
belief that he doesn’t have to tolerate that shit at work, especially not from
a talentless new hire who’s only in the firm because Aunty Dearest threw him a
pity job and is firmly of the opinion that This Will Stop. Not “or else”
because there isn’t an or – this will not happen.

After much flapping and pleas for “understanding” and
“different opinions” and “tolerant work place” (try to imagine my “you’re
lawyers, you know what bullshit you’re saying, don’t make me spell it out”
glare) SP#2 decided it would be great if we just AVOIDED each other.Because we are 5 and on the playground it
seems. I think she just didn’t want to tell her brother she sacked his son
because he’s a bigoted little freak who wouldn’t know what professionalism was
if it slapped him across the face and he needs his toys taking away because he
doesn’t play well with others.

This is perhaps the worst solution ever in the history of
mankind but it sort of “worked”, not because the firm is so big that 2 people
can work here and not meet, but because Paralegal Arsehole is so completely
unnecessary. And if he’s doing busy work, he can do it away from me.

Until we get to this and the problem arises. Because he
has Stuff to Do on this case and the other people he works with do not know
this case – because it’s my case. It was shuffled off to him because it should
have been relatively basic – stuff to do but within his skill set. Except: a)
him only doing busy work and him being hired because he’s a relative means we
didn’t realise how FUCKING INCOMPETENT the man is; and b) when complications
arose and deadlines approached he had no idea what to do and NO-ONE TO ASK.

Because he needed to ask me and he has to AVOID me, can
you believe it? So the deadline arises and people in Birmingham are setting the
phones on fire and things have not just been ignored but been well and truly
screwed up and all because he ignored it and hoped it would go away and
couldn’t bring himself to approach me and speak to me civilly long enough to
ask for help (it’s possible some other colleagues could have familiarised with
the case long enough to help – but no-one has time to add to their workload to
babysit his prejudices).

I am not amused.

Of course, when it comes to fixing this mess the logical
choice to knock heads, shuffle papers, make phone calls, fix everything and
shuffle arse to Birmingham is… me.

I am very not amused.

That fixed, of course, put me behind on my standard
schedule which has meant a few days of playing catch up.

I am most certainly not amused.

I have politely expressed my desire to discuss the
situation with the powers that be, with some notes on how this happened, what
mistakes were made and how we can study strategies as a firm to ensure that
such easily avoided bullshit does not repeat itself.