Who am I and what is going on

With a new baby coming into the family in September I have been doing some crochet for him. Yes we know it is a boy so it makes it easier for making things in the right colors. It would have been fun to make little girl things again but there are tons of cute boy things too.

These are all for baby Oliver and there will be lots more to come. Unfortunately getting ready to move the end of the month is slowing down my efforts of crocheting. I have found time to start on some new and different projects like this bath pouf (I’m working on my second one) …

as well as some swiffer socks – crocheted covers for my swiffer so I don’t have to buy expensive disposable replacements every time I turn around. I’m trying out a few different designs and will post some pictures when I get a few done.

Christmas is finally behind me and the daily challenge to finish another project or two is over. I haven’t stopped to figure out exactly how many items I made to give away this year but it was alot more than any other year for sure. Mostly I made hats, crocheted from patterns I found on the internet and altered for my own use. There was an Angry Bird, a Sponge Bob, a Hello Kitty, a couple sock monkeys and lots more.

I managed to finish only 2 pairs of mittens and one pair of gloves but hope to make more now that the rush is over. A pair of wool slippers is also in my future, for myself no less! But there will be no time pressure on these projects, just something to work on when there is nothing else to do.

I’ve discovered zentangle recently and it has captured me, engulfed me, I could do nothing else all day and never be bored. It is described as yoga for the mind, meditation, relaxation and it is all those things. I find it very relaxing and it takes my mind off whatever I’m worrying about; which lately is alot. When you are working on a tangle you can’t think about anything else. It is so intense, you have to concentrate and pay attention to the detail. But at the same time it is so repetitive that it is simple and not at all stressful or frustrating. There is no right or wrong with zentangle you just do what comes to your mind. You can find out more about it at www.zentangle.com and there are tons of patterns to get you started with step by step instructions at www.tanglepatterns.com. The latter is my new favorite site to visit. I like to learn a new tangle almost every day. Part of the joy of this art form is that it is done on small pieces of paper (3.5 inches square) using a felt tip pen and pencil. Since I am not able to sit up much I can work on zentangle while laying in bed or on the couch and the felt tip pen works perfectly even if its upside-down. Its perfect for me and I enjoy it more than I can explain. Here are a few of my favorites but there are tons more… many just practice but I love them all.

Silence, the greatest sound in the world. Long ago I couldn't stand the silence, always had a sound going like TV or radio. Even at night there was a fan going or my 'noise' machine that made wave sounds or rain.

Now I love silence. It gives me time and peace to reflect, think, imagine, create and solve the problems of everyday life. Silence accompanies me while I work on a craft or play on the computer.

What is the future? A time yet to come full of events and people we don’t know anything about. Maybe its more of the same, maybe it will be something we can’t even imagine now. I think sometimes about what will take place next week or next month but I try not to think too far ahead… I’m busy enough living today lol. But really, would you want to know what is going to happen, good or bad, next year or 5 years from now. Would we be too anxious to get through this year and miss out on simple things if we thought next year looked better or would we get depressed and lose our will to live if the future looked bleak.

Personally I would not ever want to know the future. I believe we create it every day by the actions we take so how could anyone know for certain. One small choice could change everything. And that is the beauty of the future and not knowing it. If we feel we are on the wrong path we can make changes, make different choices, even small ones to change the direction we are going in. Am I saying I don’t believe in fate? I don’t know, maybe those changes we make are part of our destiny as well… stepping stones to getting where we are supposed to be. I don’t know, its one of things I could ponder for hours and never really come up with a concrete answer for myself.

I believe in planning to a certain extent, setting the events in motion to get you where you want to be. Some things, like an education, are long term and serve us for many years or even our entire life. Others are for the moment, or to get us through, like taking a dead-end job just to pay the bills. At this point in my life I feel I have made some right choices and some wrong ones along the way. But my present life is a result of my past choices and my future will be the result of my present choices. Alot of pressure really. Life takes alot of twists and turns and right now I am on a path with sharp bends and multiple forks. Will I choose right? Is there a wrong choice? Does it matter? It seems like things could go very differently depending on the decisions I make but in the end will it all turn out the same, or at least equally satisfactory? I am not going to worry about it. I will make the choices I feel are right at the time and have faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Because if there is one thing I am certain of it is that the life I have lived has made me the person I am and I like me. No matter if I made mistakes, those mistakes have taught me lessons and made me strong. Its hard and sometimes painful to go through some of the things life throws at us but like they say ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.