The Worldwide Celebration of Plaid

October 3, 2014

GAFBO: A place for beards and plaid to hangout together

Today’s post is from our friend John Buckler. John is one of the extroadinary gentlemen behind GAFBO, the Great American Fierce Beard Organization. They’re based in Lansing. We reached out to John to get his take on plaid. Be sure to give them some love on Facebook and Twitter.

It is not difficult to find GAFBO when we are kicking around Lansing. You walk into a restaurant, you see a table full of people with glorious beards, and you just know. You say to yourself “Hey, that’s GAFBO! I love them and they have glorious facial hair. I want to buy them all dinner and a beer.”

What you may not know, is that if we were all to shave today, you would still be able to find us just as easily. And no, it’s not because you would find a table full of depressed kids (for a man who shaves is nothing more than a child) with toilet paper stuck to their face clogging the wounds. You would find us easily and state to yourself “Hey, that’s GAFBO! I love them and they are wearing some kick-ass plaid. I want to buy them all dinner and a beer.” (Repetition is the key)

What is it about the plaid? Why are the group of us so drawn to it? What is it about that design that just makes us consciously and subconsciously reach out for it? It’s a deep philosophical debate that has dragged on for eons, with great minds struggling to ponder the greater ramifications of plaid, and the people that rock it.

GAFBO has finally figured it out, and we’ve concluded (through peer reviewed scientific journals no less) what it is about plaid. It was long and complicated, but I’m going to describe it in layman’s terms as best I can.

Plaid came about during the Acceleration of our species from neanderthals to homo sapiens, while we increased the Weight of our brains, allowing us to conserve our Energy during hunts, by shaving precious Seconds off of our day to day Octet of activities and chores, which in turn allowed us to utilize our Mass much better due to increased adeptness at Entropy.

So…to break that down even more. Plaid = A*W*E*S*O*M*E

It’s a scientific fact, it can’t be disproved. It can never be unknown to you now. It is a right up there with the laws of thermodynamics, or Einstein’s figuring out that E=mc^2, and the world is forever a better place because of it.