We have seen in part 1 that the more the focus of attention is outward from each partner onto the welfare and wellbeing of the other partner, the better the relationship for each!

The key determinant therefore, is selflessness. This becomes even more clear when separated into three parts. SELF, LESS, NESS, again of course for both parties.

In complete contrast and by definition, egotism is all about the self, and is therefore better named SELF MORE NESS, the exact opposite! Hence it’s destructive nature.

When present, it will inevitably erode the foundations of the union, little by little, and of course the more it is present the more it will erode it, since the former is a key ingredient in building a life enhancing and lasting relationship, and the latter a key ingredient in knocking it down!

The flow pattern of the egotist depending on how much it dominates his or her attention, will of course be inwards towards the self. So the more it dominates the thoughts and behaviour, the more it will be seen to a partner in such a relationship, that what is being said, is in effect:

My needs, my activities, my feelings are more important than yours.

My love for myself is more important than my love for you.

My love for you extends solely to the parameters of your agreement with my reality!

This is not at all the material with which to build a thriving relationship on a long term basis.

Hence the two lines at the head of part 1 of this article “When Ego strides brashly through the front door, love floats softly and silently through the rear window”