"An Exploration of Reasoned Madness" This blog is about my attempt at leading a structured, normal life while yet piecing together my fragmented mind.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Reading more books, description of musical anomaly

Once we had settled in at the trailer things seemed to get better. Tabby was happy that I was working again and planning on finishing school. Liza was had just started Kindergarten. She was doing extremely well. I continued to read Phil's books, although I had never planned on reading all of them. It was sort of taboo. What happened once I had read every single piece of writing Phil had ever produced? Would the world then end? I was not sure and was not ready to find out, either. I would just keep at a decent pace. I probably read about fourteen of his books (most of them the "works" that he is known for) between then (August) and March of the next year (03).

The very first was Valis, followed by (and I'm not sure in which order): Ubik, Martian Time Slip, The Divine Invasion, Radio Free Albemuth, Time Out of Joint, Dr. Bloodmoney, A Maze of Death, The Man in the High Castle, The Transmigration of Timothy Archer, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, A Scanner Darkly, Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said, The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, and The Penultimate Truth.

Most of these I got from Barnes and Nobles, although they usually had to special order them for me. It seems they only had a select few on the shelf, which was a real shame. The Penultimate Truth, however, I had to buy used from one of Amazon dot com's contracted online book stores. Once I had received it, some one had scratched a note on it that said: "Hi, Thanks" and was signed "Phil Thomas". How interesting! Phil's "other" that he felt he had been was Thomas in the New Testament. Perhaps it was purely coincidental, and this guy just likes to sign on the book orders, or perhaps he knew a little about Phil Dick and was just being funny. Although, there is the likelihood that it was "meant to be", even if this guy knew it. It was still interesting even if turns out to mean nothing, and is nothing. But to me, especially at the time, it meant that I was on the correct path to discovery.

Okay, I just found a paper that I listed which books I read and which order, at least for most of them. It is as follows: Valis, The Man in the High Castle, Flow my Tears the Policeman Said, The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, UBIK, Dr. Bloodmoney, A Scanner Darkly, Time out of Joint, The next few I'm not sure in which order but this is how I have them listed next: Eye in the Sky, The Divine Invasion, A Maze of Death, Martian Time Slip.

Valis was interesting, but did not bring anything into memory, it did not mean anything to me (as far as memory is concerned). However, "The Man in the High Castle" brought back memories, somehow. From the creation of Mr. Tagomi to Robert Childan, and Frank and the jewelry shop. It was all so weird. It was like I had made these characters myself. Suddenly, when I first started having these strange sensations, I felt as if I had penned the words; "he said" and "she said" umpteen million times. Like I was a writer at one time, a long time ago. What the hell was going on? I especially remember when Mr. Tagomi witnesses the alternate world, and even more when he is forced to kill the two Germans. Oh my God! The grasshopper does indeed lie heavy!

This particular instant brought me back in time to a surreal, fuck it! No. A fucking Supernatural experience I had. It felt as if I had something to do with writing this book back in 1988 or 1989. I forget which year. Since 12-14-90 I have forgotten some things that happened before 12-14-90. Nevertheless, on a particular night (it was early morning actually, and yes I had been up all night but I was wide awake) I had decided to go for a jog around town (when I first typed this current sentence I had typed "a jog around time". Hah! talk about your Freudian slip!). I was listening to a dual sided tape in my tape player "boom box" as I was putting on my shoes. I heard a song that was on the other side of the tape overpowering the song that was currently playing. That does occasionally happen and nothing is supernatural about that. Then I realized that that song was NOT on that particular tape that was in the tape deck. What? I was thinking, "This isn't right". I pressed the off button on the tape deck. The music played on, even more crisp and clear than it was before.

Determined to find out what the hell was going on I unplugged the tape recorder and fan (I thought perhaps the fan was causing me to not hear or interpret correctly. I turned everything off that was running in the room. Coming smoothly as if they were playing right there in my room was the song by Loverboy, "This could be the Night" right smack in the chorus. Knowing everything was off I also turned the light off, stepped out of the room and then switched the light back on and stepped into my bedroom. This time the music was crystal clear AND coming directly from beneath my bed. I walked over to my bed and lifted the sheet that was sweeping the floor while kneeling down to peak beneath it. Nothing was beneath it, except for the sound emanating from the apparent air. Holy shit, boy was I freaked. I immediately darted off to my mom and step dad's bedroom. There I stayed until it became light. Mom woke up and told me to go back to my bed. I told her what happened and told her I would go in there as soon as it was. l do remember thinking that I had been frightened at something that was essentially free energy. I did not know why I was afraid. This could actually benefit people. I tried to make the best of a confusing situation. But then I had other nagging thoughts, like what if it was my peers, those pricks and bitches. What if they had something to do with it. I could just imaging them somehow peeking into my room (maybe it was their collective consciousness) and laughing at me. Fucking with my mind in this sense, just like they always did in the physical sense Then I also thought if it were the Russians, doing some kind of experiment with the air waves. That was the more practical of the other theories. Of course, there is "what if I had only imagined it"? Well, I know what I imagine and what I really perceive as real. And believe me, this Really happened.

Then, there were more novels of Phil's that I had "remembered writing/reading/collaborating?" all during this time at this house, more importantly it seemed, on that one particular day when I heard music under my bed singing "This could be the Night". Those novels include "The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch", and also "Flow My Tears the Policeman Said". In "Flow my Tears" some scenes that I seem to remember from a different time/place are 1) the scene in which Jason Tavener is darted by the pneumatocysts of the octopus-like creature 2) the scene near the end when the Felix is talking to the African American at the gas station. I know there are more scenes that I remember something from but I would have to reread the novel. It's been about four years since I have last read them. In "The Three Stigmata" I remember having read before or written before the opening scene in which the colonists are doing the perky pat layout and they try to squeeze their minds into the one body. 2) the scene in which Leo Bulero is running from the creature that was beneath his desk (when he thought he was back in the real world). 3) The part where one of them is in the future when two future earth men with "big dome heads" are talking.

I should also point out that while I was reading this book, more exactly when I just read the part about the introduction to chew Z, I had gone to a convenience store (it was Huck's) to get something, maybe lottery tickets, who knows? Anyway, right on top of the check out counter lay a box of candies, which were called Chew-Z! That was the first time I had ever seen them. Another one for the interesting synchronicity files.