Addiction

Addiction Treatment & Counselling Services for Men

The experience of an addiction is one of powerlessness and shame. The man will experience confusion as to why they can not stop a behaviour that they intellectually believe they want to stop (powerlessness). In addition, the simple fact of not being able to stop coupled with the actual behaviour (i.e. alcholol, drugs, sex, porn, gambling) creates a deep experience of shame. The man starts to believe and embody the idea or belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with them (shame). The cycle deepens once the man begins to focus the attention on simply stopping the negative addictive behaviour. The addictive behaviour is rarely the problem but rather simply the symptom of the actual problem. This is why trying to simply stop the addictive behaviour without making any other changes generally will not work.

Recovery from addictions require hard work & commitment.

Regaining one’s power which had been lost to an addiction requires hard work and commitment. It is rare for a man to simply stop an addictive behaviour the moment they’ve decided to try to do something about it. Generally. a man gains power over an addiction through hard work and time. The hard work is most often focused on what has been driving a man to act out. The man will need to focus on that area while also making efforts to no longer indulge in the addictive behaviour.

Sex Addiction – An Example

A man may be struggling with a sex addiction. The man’s deep desire is to stop acting out sexually as he is aware of the negative impact his behaviour has been having on his life. This man can focus exclusively on trying to stop acting out sexually which may work but most often it does not. The man will most likely need to look at where in his life he is losing power and using sex addiction as a psuedo replacement or temporary experience of power. For example, a man may have an overwhelming internal feeling and belief that he is inadequate as a man. This is where the work needs to be focused. If the man never challenges his negative belief of feeling inadequate as a man he will most likely always be addicted to sex. As the man focuses more and more and filling in the area of his life that is truly causing his pain then his need for the sexual addiction will lose it’s power over him. This work may however take years or even decades if not longer.

Joy of Recovery from an Addiction

Yes, recovery from an addiction is very hard work and possible. However, the joy of moving through an addiction is one of the greatest joys an individual can experience. There is an overwhelming freedom and peace that the man now experiences. There is also the joy that comes from no longer having to hide or hold any secrets and also to be able to talk openly about one’s addiction. Yes, many men will be able to speak openly about a porn, sex or drug addiction simply because they are no longer the man who once did that behaviour. Individuals will listen to you and find it hard to believe that you are talking about yourself because you seem so different to them. The man will feel deeply productive and come ever closer to working on whatever their vocation or life purpose is. Their relationships will be ones filled with meaning and purpose.

They will become the husband, partner, father, brother, son and man they always dreamed (and knew) they could be. They will be a mature powerful loving and deeply authentic man.

12-Step Addiction Resources for Men in Toronto

Men Therapy TorontoCounselling & Therapy Services for Men_______

“The addictive behaviour is rarely the problem but rather simply the symptom of the actual problem. This is why trying to simply stop the addictive behaviour without making any other changes generally will not work.”