Posts tagged ‘philippine ‘

(i don’t care if the spelling of my title is wrong or right, so don’t dare mind correcting me.)

it is now 9:59 pm here in Philippines. and this is the first post made by my cute little fingers on this site. so here it goes..

nothing really remarkable happened today, except that my pc is now working properly, no interruptions, no sudden false alarms and no sudden shut downs. i am currently on the chapter twenty of Harry Potter and th Half-Blood Prince, which i find not that exciting compared to the Order of The Phoenix. . this is nothing to do with what i want to talk about.

Obsessions. yeah, i am obsessed on many things. and the latest among these is the girl band of Korea, known as 2ne1. Yeah, i really can’t understand their songs, but i really find it pleasant to my ears.. their voices are so cute, and the lyrics (which is translated to english) i find it very.. very.. meaningful.. though it has no metaphors on it.. you know, straight to the piont.

another thing is, the boy named Calvin Chen. his smile really had never failed to melt me, his voice.. is really sensual yet sweet. and.. and his eyes.. so meaningful. No. unforunately, he is not my boy. he is a taiwanese singer. i guess it was almost 2 years since i adored him. ad, i always see to it i am updated on what is happening to him, but sad to say, his blogs are not updated 😦 HECK! his last blog was march 29, 2008… arrgh!!!

done with obsessions.. we will now proceed to my confessions. nervous?? don’t be.. i’m sure it does not concern you at all.

the confession is that.. behind every smile, laugh or jokes i throw to people.. this girl in front of you had tons of problems. from family, my studies (its not my grades, its their expectations im talking about) and my heart. i guess the first is the one cuting me the most. despite the fact that i have a happy family.. i can say something is wrong. have you ever heard the word expecatations?? advatange for those who are given right attention, but pity for those with wrong, or shall i say with too much of it. you know, the fact that you are persevering to win on any contests, to bring home medals,still, they are not satisfied on it they want you shine among the rest, which, you know to yourself, you can never do. maybe it was my fault after all, because they are used on seeing me on top, but with the new kids on the block, they should have realized that it’s hard for a newbie like me to cope. maybe, this can never be solve easily, but i guess, a simple pat on the back with the words “keep it up” can at least lessen its weight.

so, the heart. its problem is ot disturbing me nowadays, maybe because for almost 6 moths, i had never seen the boy involved again. we have not gone to a relationship, but we knew we admired each other. but, because of the people around us, and the scene, and also the time, we were not given a chance to at least, sit down and settle everthing. things were too fast, the first thing i knew was that i like him, then it just so happens that he like me too, then he is jealous when i am with other guys which made me blushed, then third.. and the last.. was that we can never be together. ironic? much for me. i had cried because of him.. and because of what had happened. but, in the end, it was a blessing in disguise after all. that event opened my eyes to the people around me that cares for me a lot.