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Friday, July 15, 2011

Ah, the weekend. The recent theme of Friday posts has related to removing yourself mentally (and sometimes physically) from chaos and intense emotion. Yes, it's a journey not a destination. This weekend just notice, without evaluation, what is happening when you feel a 7-10 sense of inner intensity whether anger or anxiety, apathy or lethargy. Without evaluation means without adding variations of , "That's awful," "I'm terrible," "He's bad," or "She's a brat."

For example, when you just notice, you say to yourself.

The kids were awake on and off all night. I'm exhausted.
The plumber didn't show up when he said he would.
Isabelle bit Jeremy again.
The dog pooped on the new rug.
The back yard needs work and will cost a lot to fix.

When you just notice, sometimes you can move forward without taking any action, without further emotional intensity. It's a neutral statement of reality. Sometimes you can't. Try it out and see if you can use this process to avoid one or two or three intensities over the weekend. I know no one who can have none!

WELCOME TO IWO!

It's the beginning of the third year of intelligentwomenonly.com I've started off with some retrospective posts as a reminder to me and you that this blog started out focused on understanding and eliminating negative self-talk. Not surprising since my current book project is Handbook #l for Intelligent Women: Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit.Strong beliefs underlie intelligentwomenonly.com posts:• Research based advice/suggestions/content contain more accurate facts and greater value than pop psychology.• Intelligent girls and women are more likely than intelligent boys and men to limit themselves because of their self-talk.• Negative self-talk is a bad habit, not a neurosis or psychosis. Unfortunately, it's normal in a majority of girls and women.

•The negative self-talk habit has to be eliminated before realistic (or positive thinking) can be learned and maintained.• Positive self-talk cannot create a positive reality even if the negative self-talk habit is broken.• Self-help approaches can work for changing thinking, feeling, and behavioral habits.In the next nine months of 2012, I would love to be able to tell you that the book will be published this year or next. In the meantime I've become intrigued with new brain research about thinking and emotions, particularly applicable and useful for and to women. I'll post no more about gender differences, unless they're wildly interesting, and more about intelligent women's psychology, thinking, feelings, and out front actions. I've added a new red subject box, Writers and Writing, targeted specifically for writers, of course!

I'm still looking for some controversy, disagreement, new information from readers. I'm open to your thoughts about what you'd like to hear more about — or less about!Please send me your comments, suggestions, questions, criticisms — all of you intelligent women out there!