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Happiest Wives Wisdom

When your kids made bad choices, rather than lamenting at what a bad mom you are or blaming your husband for not stepping up, what if you said to yourself, "It's the kids' job to push and it's my job to teach. "

When you were disappointed in your man, what if you thought, "He is given to me to love."

You would stop complaining. You would quit spinning your wheels thinking how things should be different. You would pray about the problem, release it and then take the next best step.

If you quit thinking about how your husband should parent differently and just accepted how he does, you would no longer be wasting your time. You would use all the energy to do your best.

You would be the one to teach your kids the things you wanted to teach them (I bet when you are thinking he should step up you start sitting down). Rather than seeing your husband as working against you because of his lack or parenting, you would just see his parenting as different. You would see your differences brought contrast to the table, which doesn't have to be a negative thing.

If you looked at energy as a limited resource that you wanted to spend wisely, you would quit spending it on negativity. You would invest it in something that you wanted to grow.

Instead of talking about how much you are unhappy, you would intentionally think about what makes you happy. You would focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. You would celebrate what you have rather than lament over what you lack. You would invest in your future and quit living in your past.

I am not suggesting you push down negative thoughts or disappointments. That can actually create a tug-o-war increasing the energy that goes toward resisting negativity.

You just simply notice the negative thought, allow it to be there, and ask if the thought is serving you. If it is not, you gently shift your energy elsewhere. Metaphorically speaking, if you are on a walk, you might notice a cloud, but then focus on the sun peaking through, the fresh air you are breathing in or how capable your body is as it moves.

When you complain and indulge in negative thoughts or speech, you are advertising your own fears, not actually pointing something out about the other person.

When you lead by example, you are future and forward focused. You are looking to the desired destination, not where you don't want to be. You spend your energy in a positive way. You look for evidence of what is right. You quit worrying about what everyone else should be doing and do what you should be doing.

When we truly feel the release of just loving and leading by example (without haughtiness or judgment), we simply love and love always feels amazing.

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Where we are in life proves what we are thinking. When we change our perspective, we can change our lives and our relationships.