A friend of mine, John Cowan, a survivor, was given the lyrics to this song in about 20 minutes. It is gut wrenching and heart wrenching and healing and is his story. It is called "Drown" and he courageously put it on his "New Tattoo" CD and available as a download on Amazon:

“Drown” lyrics by John Cowan, music by Darrell Scott

Under the big top the lights go dimThe clowns all hide and the ringmaster grinsHis belt was noosed around my wristHis smile turned in to an angry twist.

Too young to know better just what was wrong.My insides turned where they didn’t belongAnd all I could do was hold back the tearsAnd wait for his thirst to go back to his beer.

And so another and another and another was madeTo slug through this life so alone and afraid.

So I lied and I stole and I ate all I couldJust to have some control---as if I would.And there I was awful and fatHe said if I told I’d die for that.

Tell me when do the lights leave the gleam in the eyesOf children molested by men twice their sizeIs it the moment of entry, the rush of surpriseOr knowing their lives will only be lies.

I knew there’d be solace as there always will beFor the pit of a soul that’s forever hungry.A needle a bottle a warm piece of fleshA return to the thing that always felt best.

And if God is a spirit tell me where does he goIs he busy with devils confessing their woes?

I guess it’s up to us to find one anotherAnd try and touch souls and try to recoverThe lives we’re making all over againIn hope that some child will never againDrown….drown….drown

Now that I think about it, anything that you like playing loud can be good for you. Yesterday I bought a 3 disc set called The Jimi Hendrix Experience BBC Sessions. It came from 2nd and Charles, the best big chain store that you can get new and used materials from. It cost $30. It has a Beatles Anthology feel to it.

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I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake.

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