Tuesday, March 31, 2009

omg i had the most POPPIN weekend in LIFE!! Sheesh i made Vegas my playground. between the food, shoppin, and 2 foot tall margaritas i should be filing for chatper 11 right about now.. lol but im not.. o man it was perfect. great weather.. some FINE ass specimens, good clubbin, goin to sleep @ 7 am, waking up at 2pm. lol we were actina str8 up foooolll.. I even had a vegas "boo" (he proclaimed) that was buyin me and my homegirl drinks all weekend. i met Lil Wayne & Floyd Mayweather was givin me sexy eye. lol best birthday ever.

i missed the hell outta Newbie tho. He left for London on saturday..so i had to send him off thursday night..whew lawd two weeks hurry the hell up!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

so far its been a good day. i was a little nostalgic this morning because last year i spent my birthday with Brandon. Its cool tho, i know he's looking down on me to make sure i dont get tooo zooted. lol

i already got some nice gifts too..a personalized bible (sweet) some new shoes and a sex offer. lmao @ the last one.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

i bumped into the loser this weekend. so we're back on civil terms. DO NOT MISTAKE THIS FOR SCREWING...i said CIVIL. lol. i can have a moderate conversation with him without wanting to toss him or my blackberry out of a window.

Anywho, remember Jack & Joe? (see old posts) Well, i was twistin Jack's new growth and the loser came up. Idk WHY Jack & Joe ride the losers cock so damn hard. But they seem to think im makin a big mistake by starting somethin with my Newbie. They only saw him once, the day after christmas when i asked Joe to take me to get him since i didnt have my car.

Now, Newbie is very humble, down to earth. So he said whats up to them and talked to me the whole 5 minute ride, which is fine, cuz i hate a man who doesnt know how to shut the fuck up.

So last night, Jack is like " i dont like that dude (newbie)" and im like, why? he couldnt give me a straight answer. But im sre it has to do with the fact that i refused to ever give Jack access to my sin bin, and i let Newbie take a dip in it. (not that they kno that)

but ever since i started talkin to newbie jack & joe, who dont kno him from a glass of water, got shit to say. Askin me questions like "where he live?" "where he work?" Newbie has his own crib, and a great job. Joe is in the military and Jack is too tempermental to ever keep a freakin job....oh wait, he's an "artist" both live with mommy or fam. Now, dont get me wrong, i still chill @ home, but i dont say shit about the kinda chicks they go after...lol . Hate hate hate thats all i see and hear when they try to "compare" newbie to the loser.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Thursday, March 19, 2009

so its day 4 in my "silent treatment" by the loser. and still no effects. i've tried to contact him a few times, and no answer. so im officially finito. got other things to worry about.....like my TRIP! whew in 7 days i will be makin it rain on the Las Vegas strip!!! i dont lost my mind buying shoes and outfits for my lil mini vacay....i even decided to complete my life transformation with a new haircut and all..

im not letting him get me down, as much as he would like to lol. And everyday i get the cold shoulder from him, i get the warm hug from my new "boo" ( who really isnt "new" per se but we're closer now than we were before)

im feelin like a milli a milli a milli. lol

p.s. Im feelin The Dream's new album.. Fancy & Right Side of Ya Brain are on heavy iPod rotation.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

ok, so this Russian dude been tryna get at me via myspace/aim for a while now. but i keep tellin him im not interested. obviously he has issues with rejection..cuz this is how the last convo we had went.

so funny you dont see peoples true colors til you dont give them what they want. Ima call him "whitey" for today..

Whitey: hello wow long time?Whitey: how u been?Me: ive been okWhitey: o ok arm is better and all thatMe: so soWhitey: oooWhitey: ill make it feal better for u lolWhitey: so whats up would u still meet me and chill with meWhitey: or u still not ready for all that?Me: i cantMe: lol u so determindWhitey: why not?Me: because i cantWhitey: whateverMe: whatever?Me: hmm ok, whatever.Whitey: go enjoy your est ny menMe: ? east nyMe: lol i dont fraternize with those males thank youWhitey: waMe: ??Whitey: a nice white guy is trying to chill with u and u r talking mad dum i cant for real u pissing me offMe: first of all dont come at me like thatMe: secondly white black chinese it doesnt matterMe: im going thru somethin personal right now so i dont have time for anyoneMe: so please save that for somebody else.Whitey: whatever shorty u to young to go thrue shit for realMe: thats what u think but i dont know the life ive livedWhitey: u tell it to someone else u live woth momsMe: so u cant tell meWhitey: in da hoodMe: lmaoMe: sorry sweety i do live with my mother but not in the hoodWhitey: o yea where do u liveMe: wouldnt u like to knoWhitey: u prob live canarcie bed sty est ny or bronsivelleMe: lol nope nope and nopeMe: sorryWhitey: flatbsuhMe: nopeMe: hahahahaWhitey: crown hightsWhitey: hoodMe: silly little thingMe: nopeWhitey: all your projects i just namedMe: lmaoWhitey: fort greenMe: im from the projects now?Me: this is goodWhitey: well im sure u dont live in bayridge or bergan beach or mill basenMe: lmaoWhitey: so please do tellWhitey: im hoping im so wrongMe: please dont insult meMe: cuz i live in one of the 3Whitey: that u r going thrue some timesMe: and im going to need u to spell check yourself before you get "smart"Whitey: i dont care how to spell your areas as longest i know how to spell mines we goodMe: just because i'm not jumpin at your offer you want to act brand newMe: trying to pull a race cardMe: hahahahhaMe: pleaseWhitey: i have nothing but been nive to u and showed u mad loveWhitey: and alwyes asked u how u fealWhitey: but i get nothing but a bad vibe from u all the time for realWhitey: im not some fucking loser hereMe: and i never deferred you from thatMe: i never said you were but i cant just be chillen with anybody right nowWhitey: i dont sell rocks on the corner of your hood im a very nice guy with a degree who was looking to meet some1 newWhitey: but im sure u still chill and go out side rightMe: ok and i dont live in a "hood" i come from a very good home i go to a good college but im going thru somethin personalWhitey: im sure your life is still goingMe: no i dontMe: i dont party i dont chillMe: unless its a family functionMe: i work. thats all i do.Whitey: then u must be a depressed personMe: no sweetheart im not depressed but i have to make decisions at the moment that may change my lifeMe: not that you need to know because i dont owe you an explanationWhitey: u must be having a baby by shovon thenMe: sorry im not knocked up eitherMe: do you have any other black girl stereotypes you want to throw this way?Me: because its amusing.Me: your whole attitude towards "hood" people is sadMe: because everything you named i never came from.Me: but you only see that im brown and you generalizeMe: such a shame.Me: i guess not coming from the "hood" having a doctor and an army sergeant as parents still makes me from the "hood"Me: having my own car makes me "hood"Me: nothing to say now?Me: you had so much to comment on before

lately I've been feeling so good about my decisions. altho right now the loser isn't speaking to me, I'm still happy. the old me would've been trying so hard to get him to talk to me, but i realize now that that was my big mistake. why should i kiss his ass when i know i was right for me? after all we've been thru, he's mad because i wont sleep with him. the man who claims to love me no matter what is actin like a bitch because he's not the center of my world anymore. Get over it. Its time to move on. you wanna ride the single train, so hop aboard the shit, don't hang from the railing.Its not even a point of me talking to someone else now, because i am. and he makes me happy. I thought that the loser would appreciate getting his space, but it seems like he wants to eat the candy, and not get the cavities..nope, not on my watch. the old me, maybe. but over the last few months I've come to realize that i did all of my living for everyone else's happiness and not my own. and cant do that anymore. because if god is to snatch me from earth tonight i want to go knowing i lived as best i could for ME first, and everyone else second.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

So now that I'm back on my single grind, me and my "ex" had a discussion about how to date.

He was saying that he found it ok to talk to 5 different girls, with no intention to date any of them. This is how it went:

Me: "so, if you wanna start dating one of them, how do you let the others know?"Him: "i don't."Me: "you..don't.."Him : "na, not if they don't ask"Me: laughs " so, if she doesn't ask if you're talking to anyone you wont say anything? what girl is gonna ask u if u chillin with anyone if y'all were talkin and now ur dating?"Him thinks "na, i don't mean it like that"Me: "yea you do. and then you're gonna bitch and moan that she always questions you, yaddayadda... that's the worse way to go into a relationship"Him: i know, but i wanna exercise all of my options before i make a commitment"Me: "right..and how many successful relationships do you have under your belt?"

Friday, March 6, 2009

Last night i tried sooo hard to convince my mom last night to let me buy a bunny. lmaoo i mean, my landlord said not cats or dogs..she didn't say didly squat about a bunny. My mom was like "girl, he gonna get lost in all them shoe boxes you got!" Sheesh, so my obsession with footwear is effecting my opportunity to buy a pet?

a small setback in my eyes.

i got it all planned out...lol. I hate being devious but i want one sooo bad. We used to have a class rabbit in 2nd grade named Hosenfeffer and i got to take him home a few times and *swoon* i haven't been the same since.

so wish me luck folks, maybe when i get back from Vegas I'll post some pics of my new pet. lol