Followers

Monday, March 28, 2011

That was my first reaction when I saw these two ads sitting right next to each other. Ha ha ha haha hahahah!! What's so funny, perhaps you ask? See for yourself:

A cultivated gentleman of 40, said to be of agreeable address, desires the acquaintance of an amiable little lady with a view to matrimony if mutually inclined. He has an income large enough to provide for a cosey home and to indulge in some luxuries outside, such as all the new plays and operas, with a pint of champagne and delicate lunch after. All answers strictly confidential. Address Sincerity, box 142 Herald office.

These are both totally awesome. The first starts out pretty normal: agreeable, cultivated man wants a nice amiable wife whom he can support in relative comfort. In fact, his income is large enough to, yes, take her to the theater and buy her a champagne lunch afterward! I am bewildered and befuddled! Not that every girl doesn't want to be treated to the opera and a "delicate" champagne lunch now and then (just sayin') but that's sort of an odd thing to put in a matrimonial ad, don't you think? Aren't there slightly more important things in life to consider when you're looking for a spouse? I can't help wondering if this is some kind of code...like when you say you're going to take a girl out for a matinee and lunch what you really mean is: "I don't have any intention of getting married, I'm just looking for some girl for companionship and by 'plays and operas' I mean 'my bedroom.'" But even in the unlikely event that this is true, if it's a code, no one else is using it.

Maybe this is just his way of highlighting his own interests in life. He likes going to plays and operas, and he likes drinking some bubbly in the middle of the day. In other words, he's a fun-loving guy, and he wants a wife who also enjoys the good things in life. Fair 'nuff. I still think that's the sort of thing that should come up in a correspondence rather than a matrimonial, but whatever works for you, Sincerity. I'm sure it did prompt a lot of replies.

But really it's the second ad that rocks. Speaking of matinees! Ha! Wouldn't it be funny if this was the same guy. Seriously, though, yet again this starts out fairly typical. I've seen plenty of missed connections based in theaters and balls and so forth, which I'd link to if I felt motivated enough. However, the name he uses for his address. "Wicked"! Wicked!!! Is that fabulous or what?? I think his intentions are pretty clear. And I don't think he's looking for a wife. Oh man, this is great. I wonder if possibly the "Wicked" is a reference to something in the play? That would make some sense, as otherwise it seems almost too risqué. But even if so, it's still a pretty bold decision to make. After all, if there's a wicked, there's also got to be an angelic, and choosing to go with the former rather than the latter is a meaningful decision, right?

Wow. I wonder if she responded. And if so, what that led to...a champagne lunch, perhaps? "Plays and operas"? Heh.