Hello everyone I'm new to the page so hope I'm doing the right thing, iv had depression for 25yrs now an just seems to be getting worse as the years go on, I'm on medication and had lots of councilling and yea that's helped for the time being, I do have a great doctor who is supportive but that's it, my husband was being supportive but lost his patience with me an basically told me to get a grip and stop feeling sorry for myself all the time, I try not to get down especially in front of my children I usually hold together until I'm on my own..... Sorry if I'm rambling but this is the first time iv done this so please forgive me if none of this makes sense xx

2 Replies

Hi, Don't worry - it makes sense! It's really tough when you've been ill for a long time. Friends and family get fed up and you feel like they're all thinking "Well, she should've got over it by now". Hang in there though. Things CAN get better. You don't give your age or the age of your children. It's very hard being responsible for children when you feel like you need caring for yourself. Some people find that menopause helps ( not everyone) and certainly when your children are older and less dependent it can be a bit easier. If all that is a long way away from you, please forgive me! I would go back to your GP and make sure he knows you feel it's getting worse. Take someone with you to support you, if possible. If you haven't tried many different anti-depressants, it's worth asking your GP to try another one. Also, to maybe ask to be referred to a psychiatrist? Sometimes they can prescribe meds that your GP can't and may also be able to refer you to other support services. I expect you already do this, but If you can make use of some internet based groups or social media, it can help take your mind off it and get you through difficult days. Don't despair! I know people who have had long-term depression and recovered to get on with their lives normally.

I sympathise, as I suffered very badly from depression and anxiety for 20 years and my relationship finally broke down. I ended up drinking too much and alienated my kids and behaved badly because of booze and anti-depressant combination. On top of that, just to make me feel better, I almost doubled in weight. So, yeah.

I think you are a survivor to have made it through this far! Give yourself huge credit for still being here and still battling even though the illness makes it much more difficult to do even the things most people take for granted. Good luck!

Sorry to hear that you have been suffering from depression so long and that your husband seems to have lost his patience.

This forum tends to be very quiet - you might find that you get more support by joining the Action on Depression forum which is a bit more active.

I've suffered from periodic bouts of depression since I was in my teens and I'm now in my 50s.

I found that what has really helped me in the last few years is Mindfulness. It helps me to be more aware of my mood and has also given me some techniques for coping with the worst moments when it feels as if I'm going to be overwhelmed by tears. I'd done a lot of mindfulness based meditation in the past but found 'Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world' by Mark Williams and Danny Penman brought it all together for me.

You might also find it useful to contact your local mind group - I know they organise days and sessions for people who have loved ones who suffer from depression and may be that might help you husband. I have a friend who plays bowls with me and her daughter has depression and she said she found it a real eye-opener and realised just how much all the trying to encourage her daughter to 'pull herself together' was actually the wrong thing to do.