Monthly Archives: June 2014

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Today I placed a sticker on the car seat of my 8 month old daughter that could help save her life.

The identification sticker detailed not only her name and date of birth, but also contact details for my husband and I.

The motivation for this was reading about the CHAD (Child Has An Identity) program that orginates in the States. The program was begun after emergency services at the scene of a car accident could not identify the toddler in the car seat. The driver, the babysitter, had been killed. It was only because a hospital emergency room employee recognised the baby, that the parents could be notified.

It is a fear of every parent. How would your children be cared for if, god forbid, you were not able to?

I think this is a terrific idea, especially for those children that my have medical conditions that should be communicated in time of emergency.

I yell at my kids, they eat junk food, they watch TV they even play video games. Does this make me a bad mother?

What does it mean to be a good mother?

Being a good mother means putting your kids well-being first. It means showing them they are worth interest. It means showing them love.

It means taking the kids to the park when you would much rather be reading. It means putting down the laptop and looking them in the eye when they have something to tell you. It means spontaneously hugging them and telling them how much you love them. It means sometimes saying ‘ok’ when they ask you to play with them.

It means knowing and caring enough to do the right things by them most of the time.

And yes, they can have McDonalds or Pizza Hut as a treat, occasionally. Not all the time. This is because I recognise that for my kids to be at their best, they need to eat healthy food most of the time. So that means cooking yummy and healthy meals most nights. Even if I don’t feel like it. Even if I’d rather be eating pizza.

Being a good mother or father means not slavishly following every new fad. It means listening to your gut instincts and always exercising common sense. Baby Led Weaning and leaving your baby to cry to make them ‘learn’ are BAD IDEAS. Just think about it for a second.

And speaking of exercise. It means understanding that most of the time, kids need to be active physically or imaginatively. But in exercising (!) some common sense I realise it is unrealistic to ban TV, video games and computers. So we have rules.

Each weekday they can pick one of these activities to play for 1/2 an hour. After that they have to go outside to play. Or play inside if the weather is bad. (Hello, this is England, the weather is nearly always bad so sometimes they get to put on their wet weather gear and go and splash in puddles.) And you know what? It works, most of the time. The kids know the score. They have boundaries.

So that is the other thing. Having boundaries. Have you ever thought that Justin Bieber, or Miley Cyrus or good forbid, Lindsey Lohan might have turned out a little better if someone had said ‘no’ once in a while, that someone had set some them ground rules and stuck by them? I bet the adults those kids are today would agree.

Parenting well is hard. It is relentless. It is frazzaling (is that a word?) and exhausting and depressing and aggravating and annoying and dispiriting and despairing and hard. But it is the most important job in the world.

You know, I think we would be able to cope in a way that was better for our children if we bought a more professional mindset to parenting. I’ve worked for many years in the corporate world. So I know what professionalism and work ethics mean. Let’s apply some of that to our parenting, I bet we will get on a lot better. (The subject of another post me thinks!)

How to be a good mother. Being a better parent. Would some make more of an effort if they had yearly performance appraisals tied to a bonus structure? Scarily, probably yes. But we have to make more of an effort because they are our kids. And we love them more than anything.

This Trick For Cutting Grapes In Half Will Blow Any Parents’ Mind

File under mandatory time savers. Plus it also works for tomatoes!

After mom Laura Mullins Goodhue posted this video to Facebook on how to cut tons of grapes in half in seconds, it was so helpful it got shared over 70,000 times. Be amazed, parents (and people making salads).

They are convenient, being in the very popular crayon form which is a big plus. They give a great amount of colour and a pretty shine but the best thing is they are very moisturising which is great for drier lips. The shine is not overpowering but enough to trick the eye into believing the lips are fuller. Great for lips that are getting thinner with age.

I’m also wearing Clarins Truly Waterproof Mascara. It’s black and creamy and is truly waterproof. I love it because it will hold your lashes in place all day after you have curled them. Awesome! It also comes in blue. Right on trend.

These are truly beautiful products that will carry you right through autumn and into winter.

After 25 years practicing pediatrics, and caring for thousands of children, I’ve noticed some patterns that offer me a deeper vision of health. Here are some of those invaluable lessons:

1. Growth and development are not a race.

These days we’re in such a rush to grow up. In our mechanized, post-industrialized world of speed and efficiency, we’ve forgotten that life is a process of ripening. To get good fruit, you need to nourish strong roots. Pay attention to the ground that supports your child’s life: Go for a walk with your child, eat with your child, play together, tell him a story about your experience as a child.

2. Creating family traditions encourages strong roots and a healthy life.

This takes time and practice. Personal traditions are sacred because they promote exchanges that strengthen bonds of love and intimacy and build the kind of confidence that will carry your child through this world.

3. We grow in cycles.

There is a rhythm and pulse to each child’s life – sometimes fast and intense, sometimes slow and quiet. Just as each spring brings a renewed sense of appreciation for life, each stage of a child’s life is a time of new discovery and wonder. After all, learning is not just a process of accruing information. It’s the process of transforming our ideas, and sometimes this requires forgetting in order to see with fresh eyes. Some children will take a step backward before making a giant leap forward.
To continue reading this post please click through to MindBodyGreen here.

PHE advises temporary suspension of heated home birthing pools filled in advance of labour in home settings.

Public Health England (PHE) and NHS England have temporarily advised against the home use of birthing pools with built-in heaters and recirculation pumps, potentially filled up to 2 weeks in advance of the birth. This follows a single case of Legionnaires’ disease identified in a baby born in this specific type of birthing pool at home. The baby is currently receiving intensive care treatment in hospital.

Samples taken from the heated birthing pool used have confirmed the presence of legionella bacteria, which cause Legionnaires’ disease. Tests are ongoing to establish if it is the same strain which infected the baby. This is the first reported case of Legionnaires’ disease linked to a birthing pool in England, although there have been 2 cases reported internationally some years ago.

NHS England has today issued a Patient Safety Alert rapidly notifying the healthcare system – and specifically midwives – to the possible risks associated with the use of these heated birthing pools at home. The alert recommends that heated birthing pools, filled in advance of labour and where the temperature is maintained by use of a heater and pump, are not used for labour or birth. In the meantime, a full risk assessment into their use is being carried out.

The majority of birthing pools used at home are filled from domestic hot water systems at the time of labour – these birthing pools do not pose the same risk and are excluded from this alert. There are no concerns about these types of pools as long as pumps are used solely to empty the pool and not for recirculation of warm water.

Professor Nick Phin, PHE’s head of Legionnaires’ disease, said:

This is an extremely unusual situation, which we are taking very seriously. As a precaution, we advise that heated birthing pools, filled in advance of labour and where the temperature is then maintained by use of a heater and pump, are not used in the home setting, while we investigate further and until definitive advice on disinfection and safety is available.

We do not have concerns about purchased or hired pools that are filled from domestic hot water supplies at the onset of labour, provided that any pumps are used solely for pool emptying.

PHE and relevant local authorities are investigating the infection control measures required for this type of birthing pool and local authorities will be working with the small number of companies who supply these heated birthing pools for use at home.

Louise Silverton, director for midwifery at the Royal College of Midwives, said:

Women planning birth at home using a traditional pool that is filled when the woman is in labour or using a fixed pool in an NHS unit are not affected by this alert and should not be concerned. Birthing pools in hospitals are subject to stringent infection control procedures and monitoring. Home birthing pools filled during labour come with disposable liners and are only in place for a relatively short time period, reducing opportunity for bacterial growth.

Any women with concerns about using home birthing pools should contact their midwife or local maternity unit.

Legionnaires’ disease is extremely rare in childhood, with only 1 case in children aged 0 to 9 years reported in England between 1990 to 2011.The infection does not spread from person-to-person – people become infected with the bacteria through inhalation of contaminated water droplets.

A heartwarming and heartbreaking story.

In 2009 Ben Nunery married his wife Ali. They bought their lovely new family home together and had decided to have their beautiful wedding photos taken there. Tragically, Ali died 2 and a 1/2 years later of cancer. She left behind Ben and their daughter Olivia.

Deciding on a fresh start Ben sold the house. But before he left he decided to recreate his wedding photos with his daughter, in memory of his wife.

The pictures are loving and beautiful. They pay homage to his wife and are a permanent reminder of the home the little family of three shared.

Here are Ben’s own words.

Saying Goodbye….Again.

The last two years have been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least. There have been ups and downs to such extremes that it leaves me wondering how I’ve managed to piece together anything that resembles a normal and happy life. But, hindsight being what it is, I can look back now and recognize the progress I’ve made as a grieving widower and a single father to an amazing little girl. These past two years have had no shortage of emotional hurdles to overcome, some small and some large, but none as big as saying goodbye to the home that Ali and I built together. The home we started our married lives together in. The home we brought Olivia to after she was born. The home we turned from a shabby little fixer upper into an award winning showcase property (according to the Price Hill Press!). In many ways it felt like the last vestige of the life that we set out to build together. It felt as though leaving that house would be the first step in a new life that Olivia and I would build together. . .without Ali.

We said goodbye to Ali two years ago but her presence has remained undeniable in that house. Every square inch of it was carefully and thoughtfully decorated by her and it was as if she had never left. I remember, in the days and weeks after she died, it was impossibly difficult to live there day in and day out with constant reminders of the loss we all suffered. I walked around the house with blinders on just trying to avoid looking at every little item that she left behind. And slowly those reminders of the pain turned in to little moments of comfort. I knew she was gone but I could look at her things, all those untouched little artifacts, and know that she was there with me. I found comfort in bottles of shampoo and drawers full of socks and jewelry still neatly organized. But always in the back of my mind I knew I would eventually have to say goodbye to the shrine that I was building up in my mind just like I had to say goodbye to her.

Ali and I bought our house on the day before our wedding and we thought that having some of our wedding photos taken in the empty house would be an appropriate and memorable way to commemorate such a big step in our lives (see the original wedding day session here). As wedding days go, it all happened in a blur, but those images represent some of the happiest moments in my life. It was the beginning of what we planned on being a long and happy life together. And so, when it came time to pack up the house and schedule the movers, I struggled with the thought of saying goodbye and walking away without something to commemorate such a big step in mine and Olivia’s life. Having world-class photographers in the family is a nice perk that I try not to abuse, but I managed to sneak into Melanie and Adam’s busy schedule and we set out to once again do a photo session in that empty house. Only this time I would have a different partner, although one just as beautiful. It was fun and strange and sad and comforting and just about every other emotion you can think of. And, it wasn’t until I drove away that the significance of what we had just done hit me like a ton of bricks. These would be the last memories in that house.

Side by sides from the original photo session on our wedding day.

I did it for me. I did it for us. I did it so I would have something to show for the love and beauty that occupied that house for a short time in our lives. I wanted to be able to show Olivia the place where her mother and I started our lives together and dreamed of raising children. I thought it would be much harder to say goodbye in this way, but as I sat in the driveway, ready to drive away for the last time, I realized that it’s just a house. The memories of Ali don’t live in that house. They live with us, in our hearts. We take them with us wherever we go and they will live with us in our new house too. A house is just a house. Yes, I will miss it but I still have the memories of Ali and I still have Olivia, the most precious evidence of the love Ali and I shared and still share. Since Melanie posted the photos on her blog, many people have asked me how I felt while doing that photo session. What I want them to know is that this isn’t a story about grief and loss and hurt. Yes, I’ve gone through those emotions and still do but that’s not what I want people to see in these photos. This is a story about love. The pain is nothing compared to the love that I feel for Ali and Olivia and that’s the story I want these pictures to tell to Olivia in the years to come and anyone else that sees them. The pain will subside little by little but the love never will, no matter where we live. Our lives will continue down a curvy and uncertain path but Olivia and I will be able to look at these photos and know that for a short time there was a place where I was the luckiest man in the world, even if just for a little while.