Thursday, January 04, 2007

Where would you rather coach?

Ok, there are now 4 official job openings in the NFL (there could be more if Al Davis regains consciousness long enough to realize Art Shell actually managed to make the dreadful Raiders even worse...but hey at least they have the top pick in the draft! Right?)

Lets look at the 4:

Atlanta: Jim Mora jr. is OUT after talking about coveting the UW job....The challenge: Michael Vick is still around, still in love with running the ball and he's got the ear/adoration of owner Arthur Blank; have fun playing third fiddle in the organization, and please harbor no illusions about who is really in charge, it won't be you. pluses: Blank will pay a LOT, and isn't shy about spending big, the selfless Warrick Dunn is still under contract and Jerious Norwood is an excellent complement. DeAngelo Hall is fast as any DB in the league.minuses: uh....hmm a tiny offensive line, so you better hope that you run the Denver stretch O...try and see what installing a different offense will get you....you blew your #1 on the Jets John Abraham - a hypochondriac DE who will never play a full season for your team....your other big FA, Edge Hartwell talks a big game at LB but hardly ever shows up when it counts...oh...did I forget to mention, you still have the coach-killa QB Michael Vick...have fun trying to figure out how to a) keep him happy and b) make him the sort of productive QB you can win with....Conclusion: UGH - Who the hell wants to be the next coach Vick-tim for Atlanta??? Oh, sure they'll find someone, its the NFL for cripes-sake...but Atlanta will never win it all with Vick...it is that simple folks

Arizona: Denny Green is out after failing to take a very talented team to the next level.The Challenge: Green was a winning coach who could not break the Cards out of the under-achieving way...coming up short seems is as much a part of this club as apples are to Washington, potatoes to Idaho, oranges to Florida...well you get the idea....pluses: Leinart, Edgerrin, Boldin, Fitzgerald...this team is STACKED at the offensive skill positions....the D is underrated, they have some solid players, but lack something....you've a got a brand new stadium, plenty of revenue, but the Front office lacks something as well....minuses: Maybe the worst O-line in football...that might be a tad harsh, but they guys sucked ass, dick and whatever else you can think of....they can't run block for shit, and their pass blocking is merely adequate....the something you D lacks: leadership...when it comes to crunch-time they tumble like house of, uh, Cards....that something your Front Office lacks: Brains and passion for football - I believe the Bill Bidwell may be the worst owner in all of football...he's like the consortium that owns the Phillies...satisfied with mediocrity, has been for years...their only concern is the bottom line....Conclusion: Think about it - The fixes on this team are not as far-fetched as you might believe...if you can navigate/survive one of the least-funded scouting/player personnel departments in the league. Expectation are sky-high....for Arizona....let's be honest...coach this squad to 8-8 and you'll have the locals singing your praises, secure a winning record and Mayor of Phoenix is not out of the question...but will the Bidwell's tolerate you mucking with their license to print money??? Better do that on a budget fella

Miami: Saban fled to Alabama...owner Wayne Huizenga, clearly perturbed, began taking suggestions from the assembled media at the press conferenceThe Challenge: How to restore the Fins to the playoffs with both Belichick and the Man-genius in your division...pluses: DE Jason Taylor and LB Zach Thomas appear to have found the fountain of youth in the off-season....um, there are some decent players to build around: Chris Chambers and Ronnie Brown...plus some dude who likes to toke up a lot...Ricky whats-his-name?minuses: before he left all Saban did was muddy the QB waters in South Florida...Joey Harrington? Daunte Culpepper? jeez-louise....you're screwed....plus your defense is ancient...Nick had a couple of year to put together a run before the warranty expired on the Miami D...that isn't ticking you hear, its the bones of your D-Line clicking as they get dressed for the game...you have to find Ronnie Brown again, he disappeared this season like a cast-member from Invasion...Conclusion: Could be worse - Wayne H will pay you royally, but may require a pre-nup....finding a QB won't be easy because you pick too high to hope JaMarcus Russell or Brady Quinn will still be on the board...don't even think about Jeff Garcia unless your name is Marty Mornhinweg...still this team is behind the eight ball...Belichick is well...Belichick and Mangini is building a solid team in NY...Buffalo caught fire too (though I think Jauron is a fraud)...I hear winters are nice in South Florida..

Pittsburgh: Cowher is out at age 49 after 15 years and a SuperBowl victory in 2006...The Challenge: succeeding the second "legend-enhancing" coach in the storied Steelers history...first Cowher replaced Chuck Noll and did something no one thought he could do...survive...there so some SHOES TO FILL in Pittsburgh...not to mention chins to emulate...pluses: Great owners who favor stability and back their coach...a good roster...the Steelers stumbled early this year in the post-SB hangover, but rebounded to go 6-2 in the second half...it won't take much to guide this team back to the playoffsminuses: the pressure..the city and owners expect that the talent on this rosters will be making repeated deep runs into the playoffs, including not just SB appearances but maybe another win...there is no grace period here fella...failing to take this team forward in the first year will have folks questioning your hiring..Conclusion: Unless your name is Wisenhunt or Grimm, I would imagine that you need not apply...oh, I know the NFL has rules about that sort of thing, so the Rooneys will do their due diligence and have some minority interviews etc....but this team does not need an overhaul at this point, they need (yet another) steady hand...promoting someone from within makes sense for Pittsburgh.