If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

I'm freakin' TIRED! Too many nights of not sleeping soundly is taking its toll. I think I'm going to go crawl into my bed and see if I can take a nap for a bit this afternoon. Maybe........ I'd really like to go for a nice long bike ride too. Maybe if I do the bike ride I'll sleep better tonight?

Candy........so glad to hear your doing better today. sorry for the blowing it part too.

Comment

So - I'm feeling a little better emotionally. Not so much physically. Didn't walk or bike - did a small bit of yard work. The well is working great now and I am currently using FREE water provided by mother nature! SCREW YOU CITY OF KEIZER! YOU won't be getting any money for sewage or storm drain fee's from what comes out of the ground! HA! I don't think the 1/2 horse pump will use much electricity.

The garden is doing nicely it went through a couple days of shock and wilted a bit - but today its looking really good and I'm very pleased! I will post a picture when it gets a little more mature.

So, I'm really trying to wrap my brain around the idea of focusing on health and wellness and fitness - rather than weight loss. It scares me a little to think that I might end up gaining if I'm not being careful. Once I get my laptop back I will continue to keep track of calories - but I'm not going to log macros anymore. That just seems like a waste of time to me. I'm pretty much doing what Mark says as far as carbs - right around 75-100 most days. Except when ice cream attacks me - then its more into the 125 range. Thats still okay since he says most people find their sweet spot around 150.

Tonight I'm making chicken breast cut into bite sized peices and fried with bits of bacon, carrots, some red pepper, red onion and spices (paprika, cinnamon, cayanne and a little salt) I might make sweet potato to go with it. I should put the sweet potato in the oven right now so they are done when hubby gets home.

Comment

Tomi, I'm glad you're going to consider other goals to focus on. I think it might help you relax about your weight. It really is about health and with health comes a proper weight and with a proper weight comes health. They walk hand in hand. And I think maybe focusing on weight is what's making you so weak in the food department. The whole "I'm not losing weight anyway, so ice cream won't hurt" or "cheesecake won't hurt". It's a mentality I'm all too familiar with. I don't want to gain weight either, but I know that aside from moving around and eating properly, I have no choice over what the scale says. And it really doesn't matter. It won't change who I am as a person if I weigh 184 lbs or if I weigh 140 lbs... AND if I'm stronger now, I won't hurt as badly as an elderly adult.

Anyhow, I hope you can find the strength and discipline to focus on different goals - any goal, and relax about weight. Don't forget to enjoy the journey.

Comment

Okay - I think my few days of pity party are over and I'm back in the game again. Seems like I have these little pissy parties every couple months. I get frustrated with the whole thing - eat a big bowl ice cream everyday for 3 or 4 days and then I'm ready to jump back in again.

I got up early today and was out in the yard - I'm loving being able to turn on the water in the yard and not imagine the dollar signs coming out of the sprinkler head! Yeah !

Something ate the top of one my tomato plants. I guess I should put some slug bait and bug stuff down today. It was the smallest plant, and the only one that doesn't yet have a tomato cage - I'm wondering if a deer found my garden? I have to go the store and pick up a few things later so I will get another cage and bug/slug stuff.

I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm allergic to egg whites. If I only eat yolks I don't have any tummy issues

Comment

good weekend! We had company over saturday night for dinner and we enjoyed a nice evening around the firepit. Sunday we spent some time with both moms and then had dinner out. Mexican I had a shrimp dish. It was shrimp and veggies in a wonderful cheesy tomato sauce! I ate one flour tortilla and a bite or 2 of rice. Had some rum last night.

I have to go in early to work today to meet with the doc. He has to recertify this year (every 10 years) and he wants my help with the process. So I don't have time to go through all the journals. I'll try to catch up this evening while hubby is at bible study.

Comment

Worked a long day! for me anyway........ 6.5 hours with only a small MDA break. The doc is gearing up to be re-certified and they've made it quite complicated now. Used to be a comprehensive test of knowlege - now they require patient health reviews and then an analysis of needed improvements and then another review to show the improvement. There is also a requirement to have 25 patients complete a survey of care. And the grand finale is an 8 hour exam. I'm helping do the patient parts - but he's on his own for the exam He has about a year to complete it all.

I haven't eaten very good today. Had tummy issues this morning - no pain, but a thorough cleaning out! I had a to take an anti-diarrheal before I left for work. So I nibbled on almonds at work, then fried a couple Kokanee fillets in butter and olive oil and warmed up some left over garlic mashed potatos. Up to this point I was doing good........... Then I had ice cream........... stupid. Now I'm feeling bloated.

My garden is growing nicely! I'm pleased!

My laptop should be ready for me to pick up in the morning - so I'll go get it on my way to work. I'll have re-install Office and Quickbooks. They are doing the re-load of all the rest. He said I had 12 GB of stuff?? Thats a lot I think. Maybe I misunderstood. Anyway......... I'll have it back tomorrow. Thank goodness! I hate using the old PC cuz its slow!!

I"m really tired. I'm going to go pay the bills for the boatshop - then crash.

Comment

I feel like I need more in my life - reading journals and seeing how busy people are. I'm just content to have a quiet little life I guess. Hubby wants me to get involved in more stuff - I don't have a desire to do that. He wants me to volunteer at the free clinic at our church. He says my medical experience could be put to use there. But I don't want to. Maybe when I can quit working (when the mortgage is paid off) I will find something that I really enjoy doing - but for now I just don't want to.

Its 9:40 am - I haven't eaten breakfast yet but my tummy is rumbling a little. I think I might cook up the rest of the Kokanee. Fish is healthy - and yummy! Gary, our neighbor, always gives us some when he has a good catch. This time he gave us 3 pretty good sized fish - so 6 fillets. I fry them in butter and a little olive oil - sooooo good!

Today I'm going to eat only healthy things. Nothing is going in my mouth that is not going to benefit my health. I need to stop giving in to the cravings. I'm hurting myself - and sabotaging my efforts to get healthier and thinner.

I played Kinect over the weekend - and the image of me on the screen was awful! FAAAAT! I was embarrased. I need to take care of this problem. But first I'm going to just focus on eating healthy. I don't add sugar to anything, but I need to realize how much sugar I'm eating when I have ice cream. Its hiding in all that creamy goodness. I want to get my thinking back to where I was when I first found primal eating. Meat and veggies - period.

Comment

Picked up my laptop on the way to work. He said there was significant damage to windows and it needed to be reloaded. Now I have to re-load Quickbooks and Office. I will also need to purchase a virus scan - he suggested Norton. I guess $40 a year is worth it to protect my computer. I don't want this to happen again.

I ate 3 Kokanee fillets for breakfast - really filled me up!!! When I got to work there was a lunch in progress, I had a few bites of fruit - and managed to keep my fingers off the chocolate chip cookies. There was also a variety pack cheesecake. After everyone was done with lunch I put it in the fridge -- and didn't even take a small bite. Little victories!

The manager and doc (they are partners) are out for the rest of the week so its going to be quiet around the office. I'm looking forward to that. I'm going home now to see how well my computer is working. Short day - only 2.5 hours - but nothing to do. So I'm going home.

Comment

Okay - laptop is back and I've installed QuickBooks and restored the files from the backup (go think I do that every time I enter data) I lost my newer version of Office - it was pre-installed and I failed to do a system back up when the computer was new. So I have to get used to the older stuff again. I have Office xp2002. I like the newer version of excel better - but I'm stuck with this one now. I also need to go in and turn off the tap option for the mouse pad - cuz my curser keeps jumping all over the place. What a bother! My frustration is making me want to eat........... dang it.

Comment

Ugh computers suck... I have Office 2010 (got it from the Army) and have the option to buy Office 2013 from Brad's employer. If I had a way to burn a copy, I'd send it to you. Not sure if my laptop will allow me to copy the disk.

Comment

that's what I had before I lost Windows - I don't like the older version - but I will get used to it. Its the same one I use at the office.

I made a bad choice last.......... that's all I'm gonna say. I'm feeling regret today. I really need to get my head back in the game.

I can't figure out how to turn off the tap feature on my touchpad. I did it before - but now when I go into the mouse folder it only has the options to change an external mouse. I've been looking at the Dell website and it says I need to download the drivers, but I follow the directions on how to do that and it isn't working. I'm so frustrated! My cursor keeps popping all over the screen and its making me crazy!

I need to rebuild my calorie tracker since I don't have the newer version of excel anymore I can't use the one I have on file.

Comment

SUCCESS!! I finally found the right link - put in my service tag code and downloaded the driver for the touchpad. no more spastic cursor! I'm no techie - but I'm not totally stupid about computers either.

I wonder if the office has a copy of office 2012 I could "borrow". Going to check today. I REALLY don't want to use 2002 version. Excel is so much better on the 2012 version.

My weight is slightly up again --- directly related to my bad choice I'm sure. GRRRR. I'm so mad at myself! I'm not giving this my ALL and that's why I'm not seeing the results I want. When it comes to weight loss - I have to be in 100% or I just don't see any changes. Some people can "cut back" or "cut out" certain things and they easily loss weight --- not me. I have to be 100% compliant 100% of the time.

But........... again - my focus should be on being healthy and getting stronger - and hopefully the weight loss will follow. But, I must be 100% still. Frustrating! That seems to be my buzz word lately.

I started taking some new vitamins - from Melaleuca. They claim to dissolve faster and absorb better. Other people taking them say they can feel the difference in their energy and mental clarity after about a week. I'm hoping to see that too. They also have a meal replacement that is similar to what Mark offers. Its called GC Control. I'm going to try it too. I just ordered it. The ingredients have a couple things that are questionable - but I'll just call it my 20%.

Its raining today I like the rain. The ground needs a good long drink of water - and nothing is as good as rain. My veggie garden will love it too!

Comment

Over in Tasha's journal (namelesswonder) they are discussing the primal squat. I am so pleased with myself cuz I can DO IT!! And I can easily stand back up - I did several squats without any trouble! I am so excited about this because not 6 months ago I could not do that!

The office didn't have any copies of Office 2012 that weren't already registered - I was bummed. I will just have to suck it up and use the older version of excel. dang it!

Didn't have a lot of work to do today and spend some time thinking about my health and my lack of commitment to staying on track. I'm still trying to find exactly what works for my body to let go of the weight. I really don't think cutting calories is the answer, cuz at 1500 I should be losing at least 1/2 pound per week. I've cut way back on the rum, but haven't eliminated it. I will have it a few times a month. I think sugar is still in too much of what I eat. Cheesecake is almost primal - but contains too much sugar to be even sorta primal. Same goes for ice cream. I want to try what many of you have told me to do ---- plan a treat and only have it if I meet certain goals. I played with it - but never been successful at it. So............ today is May 15th. I'm going to give myself permission to eat whatever dessert I want on June 1st .............. but I have to eat clean and have no rum until then and I have to do Barre3 at least 12 times in the next 16 days. I think that's a good goal to have. I need to make a spreadsheet to track my progress.

If I do this successfully I will make it an ongoing thing. A treat every 15 days. Anybody want to do this with me?