Allison Plous, of Higganum, and her 10-year-old daughter, Fijare, light candles in front of a memorial for shooting victims near Sandy Hook Elementary School Wednesday, Dec. 19, 2012 in Newtown, Conn. The Plous family was on their way to visit relatives out of state and wanted to stop in Newtown to pay their respects to the victims of last week's mass shooting.
Photo: Autumn Driscoll

Ten-year-old Fijare Plous, of Higganum, lights a candle at a memorial for shooting victims near Sandy Hook Elementary School Wednesday, Dec. 19, 2012 in Newtown, Conn. The Plous family was on their way to visit relatives out of state and wanted to stop in Newtown to pay their respects to the victims of last week's mass shooting.
Photo: Autumn Driscoll

This undated photo circulated by law enforcement and provided by NBC News, shows Adam Lanza. Authorities say Lanza killed his mother at their home and then opened fire inside the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, killing 26 people, including 20 children, before taking his own life, on Friday.
Photo: Uncredited, AP Photo/NBC News

This undated photo circulated by law enforcement and provided by...

An undated photo of Nancy Lanza was provided by a family member.
Photo: Courtesy Family Of Nancy Lanza

NEWTOWN -- Adam Lanza aspired to be a Marine, one of "the few, the proud."

Failing that, he planned to join another branch of the military.

That is what he told his mother Nancy Lanza, his biggest cheerleader, and that is what she relayed to one of her closest friends, Ellen Adriani of Sandy Hook.

At first, Nancy Lanza supported her youngest son's dream. She liked the idea that the military would give him purpose, a career path and structure to his life. But the more she thought about it, the more she saw a downside.

"It became overwhelmingly clear to her that it [military service] wasn't right for him," Adriani said. "She squashed" any notion of Adam joining the Marines or any branch of the armed services by reminding him "that he didn't like to be touched," said Adriani, and that if he were injured "doctors and medics would have to handle him to treat him."

Lanza, 20, harbored a dream of joining the military after he stopped taking college-level courses at Western Connecticut State University in Danbury, said a local merchant who knew Nancy and her son.

Lanza first made his military aspirations known when he was 17, about the time his older brother Ryan was attending Quinnipiac University in Hamden.

The Adam Lanza who went on a shooting rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown last Friday was outfitted for war. Only his targets were civilian, not military.

He was clad in body armor, black clothing and wielding a Bushmaster rifle, equivalent to a military M16. He was also armed with a 9mm Glock originally used by the Austrian military -- and hundreds of rounds of ammunition.

Lanza was a familiar face at area shooting ranges in recent years, federal agents said, but not in the past six months. Nevertheless, he had ample opportunity to hone his skills firing off as many virtual rounds as he wanted in the comfort of his own home.

It was clear he was an avid gamer from the trove of gory video and Internet gaming material investigators seized.

Peter Wlasuk, a Newtown plumber who claims he worked at the Lanzas' home, informed The Sun of London that Lanza would play soldier in violent video games such as "Call of Duty" for hours in a windowless, bunker-like basement.

"They had one poster of every piece of military equipment the U.S. ever made," Wlasuk told the British newspaper.

Harris had hoped to join the Marines, too, according to the Rocky Mountain News. Five days before the shootings a recruiter told Harris he wasn't eligible because he had used psychiatric medicine. Like Harris, Lanza enjoyed playing violent computer and video games.

All three weapons Lanza used when he stormed Sandy Hook Elementary School were lawfully owned and registered to his mother, who grew up on a New Hampshire farm where she learned early how to shoot and handle guns.

Adriani visited Lanza's girlhood home last October, when the two of them attended a retirement party for Lanza's brother, James Champion, a police officer.

"She was a real farm girl," Adriani said, and had a respect for firearms. "She was one of the most responsible people I know. She kept them locked up. She was safety conscious in every aspect of her life. If you got into her BMW and didn't buckle up, as soon as the car started making that ding-ding-ding sound she'd stop driving and wouldn't start until you were safely buckled in."

Adriani met Nancy Lanza several years ago at the My Place restaurant in Newtown, where a number of their mutual friends hang out. The two shared a passion for gardening and good food.

All of what Adriani knows of Adam Lanza she concedes she learned from his mother, whom police said he shot in the head. He then drove to the school to kill 20 children and six women before killing himself.

"Nancy was proud of both of her sons," Adriani said. "They were the world to her. Adam had been doing some computer work for someone I know. He was incredibly bright. And Nancy was looking into some schools for him and the possibility of moving, too."

As he progressed through the school system he did well academically, but socially he was an outcast.

When anyone passed him in the hallway between classes, fellow classmates say, he would press himself against the wall, shunning even inadvertent physical contact.

Whether Adam Lanza was depressed about giving up his military dream or resuming his education, Adriani said she has no idea.

In the past year or so, Nancy Lanza had started traveling more, leaving him home alone more often, Adriani said. And Adam Lanza had started taking on more responsibility at home, grocery shopping and venturing out alone.