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It was pointed out to me yesterday by a douchey reader/friend of mine that I’m being selfish by not documenting the intricacies and antics involved in opening a restaurant (as that’s what I’m doing today. You? Slacker..).

But something really interesting about opening a restaurant is that by the time I get done with what I need to do for this opening… oh wait. I’m still not even close to done yet and we crack the doors in 7 hours. So, sorry dudes but you’ll just have to believe me that it requires a lot of the following:

arguing

crying

shopping for a good outfit

picking a nail polish color that’s “professional, yet me”

wiping up your kid and/or puppy’s urine off the floor because they’re protesting the 70 extra hours you’re putting in a week

drinking beer for research

convincing your husband to double park on the side of the LIE to pick up 3 kegs of superman beer that maybe MAYBE 1% of your customer base will give a shit about from the back of a truck

eating bagels at 2am because you forgot to have breakfast, lunch and dinner

being sad about how bloated you are because you keep eating bagels at 2am

writing a blog post instead of finishing the cocktail list, kid’s menu, bar menu, dessert menu and programming the computer for all of them

tweeting, or as I like to call it “how the fuck to I tweet?”

forgetting to make a google place page until just now so basically I’m using this post as a to-do list.

wishing you had time to do the laundry so your spanx were clean (they make man spanx so this applies to all of you except skinny people and you don’t count anyway)

making all the cocktail recipes a few hours before you open and consequently being wasted by the time anyone gets there.

If it weren’t for aforementioned reader/friend whose name I won’t mention until the end of this post, I’d have taken a few moments to relax with my ukulele instead of writing this, but I didn’t, and now I don’t feel centered and I’m going to be a drunk, uncentered business owner off the bat, and SERIOUSLY GOOD LUCK to anyone who shows his or her face tonight to “be supportive” because it will most likely in a violent bar fight involving me, my dad, and some seriously impressive looking beer bottles.