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November 01, 2013

What my body remember

If you start digging deep in your past, you must be prepared to find real strange things...

Before I didn't like hypnotherapy, but I have realized that sometimes it's necessary. And combined with TRE it can be a good match. Yesterday it was a breakthrough. I laid there with muscle cramps and said to my therapist:

- It's so strange. I have these huge muscle cramps but I cannot understand what's it about. I cannot see anything and I cannot feel any emotions. I just feel these cramps!

She asked if I was scared. No. If I remembered anyone pulling me down? No. But after the hypnotherapi session I suddenly got an idea and said:

- Maybe I have been tied to a bed... at a hospital.... with belts...

My therapist, who is phsycic, said that she has "seen" the same picture (inside her mind).

At the hospital
On my way back home I suddenly remembered what my mother had told me. When I was only 12-18 months old I sometimes became pale and fainted. I had some kind of problem with my blood sugar. And one day I became unconscious and fell into coma. My parents could not wake me up, so they took me to hospital. At the hospital a nurse put some sweet lemonade in my mouth - and I woke up.

But, they wanted to keep me for observation at the hospital. And 1 or 2 days later when my mom came to take me home I was very very upset. The doctors told her that the uncounsciousness could give me problems later; like diabetes or epilepsi. But that never happend.

What happend at the hospital?
When I came home I wondered; was it common in the 60ies that sad children were tied in their hospital beds? Because where else could that strange "memory" of belts come from if not from that visit? Maybe I felt abandoned by my parents and very scared and sad. Maybe that's made them tie me in a bed? To calm me down. Or did they do something else with me?

Later that evening I did some TRE exercises. My body immediately started acting that strange again; muscle cramps that made my body bend so strange. But still no feelings. No memory. As I felt the strong muscles cramps in my body I asked myself: What IS this? WHAT can make a body behave like this?

Then I got this in my head: ECT - electroconvulsive therapy. Could that be what my body remembers 50 years later? Was ECT used on small children in the 60ies? Like somekind of experiment?! Or - is it some kind of alien abduction experience? Well, I guess I have to dig deeper into this.