“Don’t Let Satan Steal Your Joy”

We turned in an instant and looked at each other, knowing in that very moment what we were supposed to do.

Our pastor had just announced that our local crisis pregnancy center was in desperate need of baby beds. He asked if anyone in the audience had baby cribs that they would be willing to donate to the center.

We didn’t have a baby bed. We had planned on having a baby bed. We had expected to have a bed at that time.

But we had lost our baby before we ever had the opportunity to purchase our own.

11:04 pm on a long September night several weeks earlier.

We were in a room at Baptist Hospital losing our first child.

In a cold and brutal twist of irony, we were on the maternity floor where other parents were welcoming their children to life.

But not us. We were grieving the loss of ours.

As the words came out of our pastor’s mouth, I tuned to Becky and our eyes locked.

We have to do this. God would want us to do this. Our pain can be someone else’s joy.

The next day, in a daze and a thorny mix of twisted emotions, I stood in the baby section at Wal-Mart.

With a lump in my throat, and a voice barely above a whisper, I told the salesperson I wanted to purchase several baby beds. After loading them into my truck, I drove home, dying inside.

My first time to purchase a bed for a baby, and it wasn’t going to be for my own.

Becky and I drove those beds to the local pregnancy center. When we met the director, Nancy, we instantly felt a connection to this warm gentle lady.

We explained why we were there, and as we did so, Becky began to break.

Nancy didn’t just console us. Nancy didn’t just listen to us. She cried with us.

Nancy wrapped the arms of Christ around us. As we sat there, Nancy ushered the love of God and the peace of his presence over us.

And then, while holding on to us, Nancy opened the door to the throne room of God and prayed the most beautiful prayer over us, asking God to redeem the situation, and restore our hope.

Just a few short weeks later we discovered Becky was pregnant again. Our joy quickly turned into despair when the same symptoms as the first time began to manifest again. I was across the country on a business trip, unreachable with no access to cell phones.

Becky called Nancy who invited her to come over to her office right away. At the office Nancy and her team encircled Becky, and prayed over her with the words, “Let this baby stay put until the appointed time.”

That afternoon, Becky was pacing the floor, begging and pleading with God. Fear was tormenting her with memories from our first pregnancy. “Is it over?”she wondered.

And then in her spirit, piercing the brokenness, came the quiet still voice.

“Don’t let Satan steal your joy.”

With the same power and authority that declared on the cross, “It is finished,” the Spirit of God was declaring to Becky that it was not finished.

That phrase has become our mantra so many times throughout this journey of raising a child with special needs.

One year to the day after we lost our first child. One year to the hour after we lost our first child. Same hospital. Same floor. Same time.

We greeted our son Jon Alex into the world, and I held him for the first time.

Without our pain, without our struggles, without our grief, and without our loss, there would have been no Jon Alex.

Without our pain, we would have never discovered our purpose. Pain runs deep. But purpose runs even deeper.

“Don’t let Satan steal your joy.”

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:4-5)

The hard scenes in your life often end up being the ones that matter the most, when you see the Hand of God was with you the entire time.

Life never makes sense in the present. You can never really see what God is doing in your life by your present struggles, or your future fears.

Only when you look back can you say, “Surely God was with us all along.”

About Jeff Davidson

Jeff is the Founder and CEO of Rising Above Ministries, a national special-needs ministry. He also leads the No More Vacant Dads initiative. Jeff feels he was chosen to be the father of a son with special needs, and he writes from the heart of a special-needs dad. He is a pastor, speaker, and writer who writes for several online publications and blogs. Learn more about Jeff and follow him through his personal site, goodnightsuperman.com. He is the author of the book " No More Peanut Butter Sandwiches: a father, a son with special needs, and their journey with God."

Comments

Well….I am sitting here with tears running down my face. Becky has shared that story with me before but I guess it just hit me like a ton of bricks this AM. I was thinking about the only child I had and I gave him up for adoption and how satan stole my joy for sooooo many years. AND how He is using my story now for His glory at Freedom. In fact, I spoke of it again last night at Freedom. Thank you Jeff and Becky for your ministry and your evident love for the Lord and your smiling faces. I love you both probably more than you will ever know. Esther

As an adopted child, I am sorry that Satan stole your joy. I have always felt blessed to have been adopted by my mom (she was a single parent when she adopted me, although she later married and I was adopted again by my dad). I harbor no resentment toward my birth mother, just a profound sense of gratitude, as I believe that she made an unselfish decision that has given me a wonderful life. I hope that the peace and freedom that you have found through Christ continues to grow and flourish, and that God continues to use you and your story for his glory By the way, my adopted mother’s maiden name was Esther Smith. : )

This is beautiful. I didn’t know this part of your story of pain and brokenness. Thanks for sharing about God’s working and timing in your life! And about Him using your generous gifts of the baby beds and Nancy’s heart and life to encourage you.