Got Ftwalk web site redesign working, and uploaded to Sourceforge:
http://ftwalk.sourceforge.net.
Banner and left link columns come out of PHP script, with a CSS file for
style information. Color scheme is quirky, but presumably easy to change
if/when I get a better graphics handle. Biggest improvement is that the
User Guide is presented piecewise, is navigable, and searchable. This
was done by adding some flags to fthelp, building on some prior
work that I had never put to good use.

Movie: You Can Count on Me. This could use some explaining.
It comes together a bit at the end, but until then the sister/brother
dysfunctions are arbitrary and impossible to correlate with the parents'
death in the intro. Had we seen them before the accident, or after the
accident, it might be possible to draw more sense out of the evolution.
Instead, we don't pick up the thread until there is an 8-year-old to
bond with, and otherwise steal the show. The actress got an Oscar
nomination: I'm told that if I watched TV I'd be able to tell her
from Helen Hunt. B

Gave a presentation on "Introduction to Programming in C" to
ACLUG. Spent most of the day
polishing off notecards, then finding that I couldn't print them,
then converting the notes into MS Word, which I could print but
which behaved very strangely.

The presentation was not well attended (less than 2/3 normal
attendance), and the concepts got thick and heavy. I wanted to
tackle pointers right off the bat, but we never quite got there.

Movie: Cast Away. One annoying thing was all of the product
placements, but that's an old story with Zemeckis. The island set
was plausible, reasonably authentic. The romance was less plausible
before the crash. The crash was overdone, but if you got the budget
why not blow it all up? B+

Trying to graple with a lead-in for a review of the Heilemann and
Auletta Microsoft antitrust trial books. Wrote two paragraphs,
might work:

The appearance of a spate of books about the Microsoft antitrust trial
marks a sort of half-time. The evidence has been heard. The findings
of fact and law have been crafted. The judge found Microsoft guilty
as charged, and ratified the Department of Justice's remedy proposal.
Microsoft is trailing something like 28-3, and Bill Gates (better known
as "the world's richest man") is reportedly feeling pretty optimistic.

The reason for this optimism is that the second half, the appeals
process, takes place in other courts, under other rules, with a
changed cast of characters. For instance, some people speculate
that the new pro-business administration will just let the case
drop. (Not likely, given that it was prominent Republicans ranging
from Orin Hatch to Bob Dole to Robert Bork who prodded the reluctant
Democrats into action. And not even all that relevant, given that
the 19 states who joined in the suit will certainly continue to
defend the conviction they've already won. But Microsoft has been
busy hiring its own political clout, including former GOP Chairman
Haley Barbour.)

The Village Voice's
Pazz 'n' Jop
poll came out today: 586 working rock critics vote for best record
of 2000. I had predicted: 1. Eminem; 2. OutKast; then Radiohead, PJ
Harvey, and U2 in no particular order. Actual order was: 1. OutKast;
2. PJ Harvey; 3. Radiohead; 4. Eminem; 5. Shelby Lynne; 6. D'Angelo;
7. U2. In the end, it looks like everyone who voted for Eminem also
voted for OutKast, but OutKast voters included enough Eminem-haters
to put it well over the top.

My own year-end list includes both Eminem (#3) and OutKast (#5).
OutKast is the more consistent, less conflicted, more musical effort.
Eminem makes unnecessary room for hangers on (Dre, D12) to promote
their wares, and is full of shifty disclaimers, all the better to
confound the controversy that it intends to stir up. Still, it's
wickedly funny, not to mention outrageously wicked, edging OutKast
on points.

The rest of the top seven, aside from the eminently listenable
D'Angelo, have proven difficult to get a grip on. I've been playing
these four records regularly. Thus far, the pecking order is:

Shelby Lynne: Heavy, its Alabama country soul choked under
overdubs, rarely emerging in a stray ray of light, most
uncountry-like. Heavy.

PJ Harvey: Utterly professional, yet whatever these stories
may mean escapes my attention. She's conquered the spastic
shrillness that I so hated on Rid of Me, but at the
expense of the forcefulness that put To Bring You My Love
across. This, too, could be a great album, if only one cares.
Does one?

Radiohead: Shapeless at first, listless. Sad, or so I'm told.
Slowly, bits do seem to firm up, transform, even flow a bit.
Looks like a long road. Wonder why so many others found the
reason to sort this out?

U2: Never a fan, I bought the early records out of Eno-devotion,
and sampled later, especially hyped fare. This may be the best
of the lot: almost every song has a strong, well hooked melody;
none have lyrics that I have noticed, for worse or better. I
can't remember last time I played Rattle and Hum, my
previous pick. I doubt that in the end this will mean more.

In other words, inscrutability is the order of the day. Wonder when
that became de rigeur, either for art or pop?

First entry in notebook. I made an earlier pass at an Advogato diary,
but that seems only to be of interest to other programmers, and not
many of them at that. I'll probably let that pass, except for the
occasional (rare nowadays) posting of a free software doodad. In any
case, Advogato seems to have passed its prime at a site of interest.

Got into a theological skirmish with a correspondent today. I have
rather pat answers, which I am reluctant to fling at the believers.
But, in a nutshell, God is ignorance: one's quest is to attain
knowledge, vanquishing ignorance, freeing oneself from the tyranny
of God. Perhaps this is indeed impossible, but that seems to matter
little. I, for one, have pursued this quest for 35 years, and there
is not only far to go, there is clearly more ground attainable.

But in my case, what gives this quest resonance is madness. At age
15, I was certifiably insane. (Can you say, catatonic schizophrenia?)
Who knows what got me there? I came to be fond of Gregory Bateson's
double-bind theory, the contradictions of trying to live all those
lives prescribed for me. I floundered for years, dropping out of
school, hiding in my room, reading all night and sleeping all day.
Finally, I started forcing my way out of my dungeon. My tools were
reason and will, even though at first I hardly believed in either.

At age 20, I enrolled in WSU. Next year I transferred to St. Louis
(Washington University). I learned to typeset in St. Louis, and
finally could support myself. In 1976 I moved to New York. There
I learned to program. It's been a struggle at each stage, and I've
never been far from the abyss. Reason and conscious will have held
me together, and these in my mind are bulwarks against God.

I think about this now because I feel myself slipping. Not that
I am in any eminent danger of giving myself to God in any
conventional religious way, but that I do sometimes feel
pulled toward the abyss -- the easy dissolution of self,
the end of struggle.