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June 22, 2011

I'm in love

1. I'm cheap frugal.
2. I've got a little extra "fluff" on my body in a few areas.
3. I'm trying hard to build body confidence.
4. I'm frugal.
5. I despise bathing suits, bathing suit shopping and wearing a bathing suit in public. If it has the word "bathing suit" in it or involves wearing one, I've already made up my mind that I hate it.
6. I'm cheap.

Because of numbers 1, 4 and 6, the bathing suit that I had purchased on last year's clearance rack was unraveling at all of the seams and I needed a new one. I mean seriously, who wants to spend very much money on an elastic body stocking? But we've got a conference coming up for hubby's work that is being held at Great Wolf Lodge. We love GWL, but wearing a bathing suit in front of all those business associates? Not so much.

For some reason I didn't plan this move out very well because I ran out of time to leisurely shop for one and ended up having to take all three kids bathing suit shopping with me today. (Insert groaning, cussing and tears here) I don't know anybody whose idea of fun includes stripping down and trying on swim suits in front of their kids, but whatever. I had no choice.

I came to the first rack of suits that didn't look like butt floss and picked up every one piece bathing suit that had enough support to hold the girls up. The boys were sitting in the cart covered by a mountain of Lycra. As Sadie was oooing and ahhhing over all the skimpy, teeny bikinis and trying to convince me to buy something covered in glitter, I was grumbling under my breath at how wasted all my modesty talks were undone with one single shopping trip.

We trucked it to the dressing room where I pulled on a bathing suit that had a huge tag boasting "instantly slims you." It was made by Spanx and as you know, I love me some Spanx. I tied it all up, adjusted the parts of the body that required adjusting and looked in the mirror. If my kids had not been in that dressing room with me I probably would have screamed out ,"Holy f#@k! I have a waist!!!!" It was like the angels sang and God smiled down on me in that one instant. I'm not sure where all of my torso fat goes when I put this suit on, but it seems to disappear. Probably gets compressed down into my liver or something. Granted, it doesn't do a damn thing for my thighs and bat wings, but I actually felt okay about it. Never ever ever in my whole life have I bought the first bathing suit that I tried on, but I fell in love with this one instantly.

I'll just go ahead and lie and say that this is my body while I'm at it.

Miles was trying to climb out underneath the dressing room door. I pulled him back in by the elastic waist on his shorts. Noah (awwww... sweet Noah) said it was the perfect bathing suit because it looked good with my toenail polish. Sadie was still advocating for something skimpy and glittery. I picked up all the other untried on garments and headed out of there.

In my opinion, Spanx has saved me massive anxiety, hours of time trying on suits and kept my child from being listed as a missing person. If I'd have had to stay in the dressing room any longer, he'd have crawled right under the door and I love him and all but I would not have chased him through the store in my skivvies.

So what had the makings of a total disaster turned into a total success! Score! I give the day two big thumbs up.

Don't you wish you had a seven year old who wanted to use your camera to take pictures all the time so that you had pictures of yourself doing all sorts of dumb things like giving thumbs up? Of course you do.

These opinions are my own. I paid for this suit with my own money and Spanx paid me nothing to endorse this swimsuit. But if they wanted to send me a gobzillion more, I would not object. I'm just sayin'.

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