Divorce is killing our planet. So claimed a 2007 study by Michigan State University which estimated that divorced couples around the world use 38 million more rooms than they would have done had they stayed together, as well as using 73 billion kilowatt-hours more of electricity and 627 billion gallons of water.

And that's just if they're normal people. Imagine how much more disastrous it would be, if they were as profligate as almost-billionaire carbon trader and creator of the ManBearPig religion Al Gore. Just one of his homes – the 20 room one in Nashville – is reckoned to consume about 20 times more electricity than the US national average. So that means that if – God forbid – Al Gore's blubbery cuddliness, weird half-asleep voice and fascinating power point lectures should ever cease to delight his loving wife Tipper, the planet could well be facing an ecological disaster that makes the Louisiana oil tragedy look about as menacing as your neighbour's barbecue.