Forbes has released its list of ten highest paid actresses, and you won’t believe who’s number one – it rhymes with “Blandra Bullock.”

Upon a second reading, it appears that not only have I given away the number 1 highest paid actress in 2013, but I also kind of called her bland which was not my intention. Perhaps Blandra Blullock is not the most inventive code name of all time (if I had it to do over again, my hint would have been “her last name is homophone for a British word meaning a single testicle”), but I doubt she’ll mind the accidental nickname as she is apparently made $51 million in 2013 according to Forbes. That is 1000 times more money than the average American worker, or, for me, over 5 million blog posts (JK, lol, totes kidding you guys. Hahahahaha!) But I suppose this is a fair amount of money being that Sandy Bully’s Gravity grossed over $500 million at the worldwide box office, and was probably the only Hollywood film I’ve seen that was actually worthy of an IMAX viewing. Here is the complete top 10 list as reported on Slashfilm:

Forbes’ 2013 Top Earning Actresses

Sandra Bullock – $51 million

Jennifer Lawrence – $34 million

Jennifer Aniston – $31 million

Gwyneth Paltrow – $19 million

Angelina Jolie – $18 million

Cameron Diaz – $18 million

Scarlett Johansson – $17 million

Amy Adams – $13 million

Natalie Portman – $13 million

Kristen Stewart – $10 million

Jennifer Lawrence took second place on the list, earning $34 million and narrowly besting Jennifer Aniston, AKA Blennifer Blandiston (intentionally calling her bland), by $3 million. Blandiston was number 10 on the Forbes list in 2012, and number 3 in 2011, and probably in the top 10 each year since the dawn of time. I’m starting to suspect that Hollywood pays her $10 million a year just for existing. Or maybe it’s a romantic comedy retainer fee. Or maybe that’s just how much it costs to do maintenance on her gears, CPU, and hydraulics system (cuz she’s a robot. A really really hot sex robot.) I’ll bet you the entire amount of money that I’ll make from writing this blog post that she tops the list again in 2014. Anyone willing to bet against that is definitely going to lose two figures worth of money (before taxes.)

None of these people “earn” their money. It’s a ridiculously inflated price set by a self indulgent industry in a culture of opulence. There is no human short of the person who can cure fucking cancer and AIDS that’s worth $51 Million fucking dollars.

He’s referring to the Chinese semen extracting sexbots, as it is their mating call. Think of it as their “I am Groot,” it’s all they can say but it means anything and everything to those with a rightly tuned ear.

Because they are not overpaid. We just like to say this because we are poor and jealous but in reality if you think that studios aka one of the most greedy entities in this world will ever force themselves to pay more then they have to you are out of your mind

Exactly those are probably one of the few people in the worth that are worth exactly as much as they are being paid. While some people like in Wallstreet can get lodged in with their golden parachutes and stuff and still recieve tens of millions even if they are a failure there is no such thing in Hollywood. There if you fail you go from 10mil a movie to starring in a Sy Fy original movie for free pizza and a place to crash

Matt sat in appreciation of his work. He looked at the banner picture of Sandra Bullock and admired how smooth her legs looked.

He moved back his chair, leaned back, and put his feet up on the desk, contemplating his own legs in their skinny jeans. He attempted to roll up the cuff, but the skinny jeans were unyielding.

On his walk home that night, he passed by his local pharmacy. He entered and followed the familiar path to the aisle with hair removal products. Standing with a bottle of Nair in his hands, he re-read the instructions for the 80th time. An elderly lady came in to the same aisle, so he quickly stuffed the bottle back where it was and pretended instead to be looking at an assortment of lotions.

His heart raced as she passed, and he suspected that the sudden burst of adrenaline had left him visibly nervous. He shuffled out of the store and continued on his way home.

A few blocks from home, he passed over an air grate in the sidewalk. A slight breeze passed up his pantleg, giving him goosebumps.

He paused for just a moment, his eyes closed, and appreciated the sensation.