Debugging Your Vcr Disagreeable Business

February 22, 1986|By Phil Vettel, Chicago Tribune

It was a social snafu that might even perplex Miss Manners.

''I was entertaining a houseful of people -- about 20 for brunch -- and I was playing sort of a video Muzak on the VCR,'' said our source, who, for reasons that will become abundantly clear, wishes to remain anonymous. ''I looked over to check the tape counter, and for some reason I couldn't make it out.'' He moved closer and discovered that the digital display was blocked -- by a three-quarter-inch cockroach.

What to do?

''It occurred to me that I didn't want to point this out to my guests,'' he said. ''Eventually I mentioned it to one or two friends, but I didn't make a big announcement about it.''

That was the first smart thing our source did. Excitedly displaying your urban livestock is a bad move to pull on brunch guests. The second smart thing was something our source didn't do, namely, panic. Having one or more critters doing God knows what inside your video equipment is certainly loathsome, but it needn't be the end of the world.

It wasn't even much of a surprise to many in the video world.

Rick Kahn of Columbia Audio and Video in Chicago said, ''Once a year we run a video recorder and maintenance clinic, which gives customers a chance to watch their machines being cleaned and to ask questions. And we've found all sorts of interesting things in video recorders.

''We've found pencils and pens. We found 23 cents' worth of loose change. We found a stopwatch once, and a hairpin. And every time, the customer says the same thing: 'I never put that in there. You must have left it in there when you were fixing it.'

''It's almost a trend. As video recorders become more and more household-type items, they're not being treated as a $1,300 piece of crystal that no one should go near. Kids are getting involved with the machines, and we're starting to find all sorts of things inside, not just cockroaches.''

All well and good, but what's to be done when your VCR takes on a few extra moving parts?

First, understand that it's perfectly natural. Cockroaches have had a lifelong love for household appliances of every description, especially those in kitchens and entertainment areas. Such machines are warm, dark, cramped and close to food and water -- all things near and dear to a roach's heart (although I'm not sure they have hearts).

Picture a gleaming, state-of-the-art VCR inside a sleek audio-video cabinet from a roach's perspective. It looks like a modern, well-heated loft space in a high-rise, lavishly appointed in high-tech decor and located near several reliable dining establishments. Apart from a decent school system, it has everything you'd look for to settle down and raise a family.

Unfortunately, that's exactly what roaches do, and that's bad news for video recorders, which are easily damaged by moisture, dust and grit -- all of which roaches provide. Video recorders simply aren't designed to be roach motels.

According to a spokesman for Orkin Exterminating Co., design is a major part of the problem. ''Appliances and video- stereo equipment aren't designed to keep critters out,'' said technical director Eric Smith. ''It isn't that hard to do -- fine mesh screening over air vents, for instance, would help -- but it isn't part of their design strategies to build insects out.''

And once roaches get into video and stereo equipment, it's hard to get them out. It can be done, of course, but the cost, depending on the severity of the infestation, can be astronomical.

''I've seen in this area where you open a machine up and it's totally infested,'' said Andy McCoy, service manager at the Pacific store on Oak Street in Chicago. ''I mean hundreds and hundreds. So you quickly shut the top, put the machine in a plastic bag and tell the customer there's nothing you can really do.

''Then if the customer says it's got to be fixed, whatever the cost, then you've got to go with an outrageous repair charge. You got to fumigate it, you have to clean it and then repair it. If it's not a real expensive VCR, it's not worth it. You're looking at a $150, $200 labor charge.''

McCoy said he takes a large plastic bag and sprays huge quantities of insecticide inside. Then he places the VCR in the bag, seals it and lets it sit for as much as two weeks. It's an inefficient way to kill bugs; very little of the insecticide gets inside the machinery. ''But the bugs got to come out sometime,'' McCoy said.

When he's sure the roaches are dead, McCoy opens the VCR. But because the insecticide has penetrated into the machine's workings, it all has to be cleaned. Every head, every capstan, every electrical connection. ''And that's just with a light infestation, maybe just a few bugs,'' McCoy said. ''If it's totally infested, there's nothing you can do.

''I've had customers come in, set the machine on the counter and before I can even write it up the bugs are crawling out on the counter. I don't even want to take the screws out, because if I do they'll go all over and I'll be fighting them for couple of weeks.''