Parking in NJ: Whose right of way?

My three hungry kids and I were roaming a full Montclair parking not long ago. Just as we turned a corner, we noticed an open spot about six cars away from us. Good timing. No other car was in sight, so I made my final approach with confidence.

By the time I got there, another driver had entered the lot from the opposite side, eyeing the same spot. Even though I was there first, his blinker went on, while mine never did. I didn't think much of it, so I just pulled in. Law of the parking lot jungle: first come, first park.

Or so I thought.

Minutes later, there was a knock at my driver's side window. It was an annoyed-looking man holding a little girl. I couldn't fathom what he might want.

He said the spot was rightfully his...and that I needed a lesson in "parking etiquette."

I defended my "I-got-here-first" line of reasoning against his "my-blinker-was-on-and-yours-wasn't" theory. He wasn't about to go Jerry Springer on me, especially with a little girl in his arms, though I sensed an intense urge on her part to pull my hair until I cried.

We eventually went our separate ways, but I couldn't stop thinking about what he said. What exactly are the unwritten rules of New Jersey parking etiquette and who's responsible for them? Maybe the uniformed lady chalking up my tires knows, but I don't.

One question leads to another:

* Can you back up to take a parking spot you just passed if a fellow spot-spotter is behind you?

* How far can you follow a pedestrian en route to his car in a mall parking structure before being charged with stalking?

* Is a Hummer allowed to take up as many spots as it pleases?

* And how long should you have to wait for someone to pile seven kids, eight shopping bags, and two strollers safely into a minivan? Does the driver of said minivan have on obligation to rush, or just an obligation to stop having kids?

My search of DMV manuals, AAA literature, and relevant Jewish Talmudic Law shone no light on the subject, though the Talmud does point out that it's unwise to go against the painted arrow when cruising supermarket parking lots. Unless of course it's triple coupon day.

Aaaaaahhhhhh...now we just need a taxi to the Mall entrance.

My father likes to park far away from other cars. Very far away. Think "new zip code" far away. He thinks it minimizes the chances of being "dinged" by an errant driver or shopping carts that have run amok. This may be true -- we all know shopping cart wheels are specially-designed to run amok and slam into the doors of shiny automobiles -- but parking like this also increases the chances of getting frostbite or sunstroke during the trek back to the car.

My parking nemesis and I didn't have time to contemplate these things aloud as he stalked off. He must have gotten his suburban parking etiquette manual in the mail, whereas mine was probably thrown out with the Value-Pak. If you have one to spare, please let me know and I'll meet you in front of Nauna's, second parking spot from the left.