For many, the crash at 9th Street and 5th Avenue on March 5th, 2018 was very emotional. For people on the scene it was even more traumatic. We're working with some trauma and grief therapists (thanks to them for reaching out) to put together sessions that may help folks deal with the emotional aftermath of today's scene. Here are those resources:

Whether you were a witness, heard about it and were impacted, or had another experience that was retriggered by last week’s neighborhood (local? 5th Avenue?) tragedy, your feelings around this matter.

Below is a list of therapists who have offered support or have been listed as specializing in trauma/grief. We appreciate their stepping forward to help. (As a reminder—this is not an endorsement of any one therapist or approach to therapy.)

Providers who offered their services

Rebecca Dell'Aglio,I’m a clinical psychologist in private practice in Park Slope. Please let me know if there is any way I can lend my services in the aftermath of this traumatic event.

Deborah Rice,
I’m a therapist in park slope, specializing in trauma with children and adults. Please let me know how I can support. I can provide sessions/groups if needed.

Lauren Sosenko,
I’d like to offer my therapy services to anyone who was affected by yesterday’s tragedy. I’d like to offer a few sessions free of charge to any witnesses who may reach out to PSP in need of processing.

Mary Carnesale Gallagher,
, (917) 960-3061I am a cognitive behavioral therapist with training and experience in the treatment of trauma/PTSD and have led many groups. I am willing to be involved in any way, even if that is just being an extra person at a group to help manage things or calling around to find a location for a group.

Cheryl Perlman,
, (718) 952-5202As a therapist, I am available for individuals or couples if the need arises. I want to suggest a book that might be helpful for some parents "How do we tell the children"? by Dan Schaefer Ph.D. There is a Crisis Checklist that could be invaluable for parents in talking to their children as this tragedy will affect both parents and children.

Andrew Colitz,
, 617-935-5523I’m a psychologist who works in Brooklyn with children and families. I would be more than willing to help families cope with the recent tragedy this week.

James Wells,
, (347) 450-4574I am a therapist who works a lot with grief and trauma. I would be more than willing to meet with people to help them process any difficult feelings related to what happened.

Terry LaFrazia,
, terrylafrazialcsw.comI wanted to reach out as an EMDR clinician and offer support. I would be interested in volunteering some time to do recent incident sessions with those directly affected by yesterday's incident.Recommended by a Park Slope Parents member: EMDR Therapy. EMDR is a form of therapy that is particularly helpful with traumatic events like this for people very strongly affected. http://www.emdrtherapistnetwork.com/

CENTERSInteractive DiscoveryWe are definitely a group practice available for trauma work and serving children and families in PS for the last 10 years on 11th St and PPW. Our second Street location (btw 7th/8th ave) has been open for 3 years now. Please feel free to post this as a local resource for this need and needs in general.

Park Slope Center for Mental Health, Phone: 718-788-5101 ext 1586, .">
.We will prioritize anyone calling for grief counseling or support around this tragedy and do our best to get them in to see someone for an intake as soon as possible.

The NYU child study center also has a trauma program and could offer materials and/or potentially meet with parents to discuss how to talk to children if there is a community need for that. (we are checking with this group to see what we might be able to arrange as a group).

OTHER LOCAL GRIEF AND TRAUMA THERAPISTSSomeone also provided this list of local therapists that work with families and children and have experience working with grief and trauma.

Annete Hernandez (child and adult psychologist)

Genevieve Rosenbaum (child and adult psychologist)

Carolyn Kessler (child psychologist)

Beth Halpern (adult therapist)

Tamara Jachimowicz

Angela Schwartz (child psychologist)

Natasha Crewdson (child psychologist

Lianna Smith Murphy, LCSW (child therapist)

Heather Kelly, LCSW (child and adult therapist)

Beth Wecksell (child psychologist)

Rebecca Rogers, LCSW (children and adults)

Lois Abramchik, LCSW

Please take care of yourself folks!

It's important to be supportive of the people who were there; it can help with their recovery. We are going to gather a list of resources and post those as well. Please share these resources with your nanny-- some were at the scene and others know someone who has been impacted.

Age appropriate honesty is important. Kids know more than we think they do. If you’re not honest kids can come up with fantasized explanations of death (“I made grandma get sick and die”). Using concrete things like “X has died. Their body is no longer working” (rather than “Nana is ‘sleeping’” which can freak young kids out and lead to, “when is she going to wake up?”). You can also talk about your beliefs: “Our family believes that after someone dies you go to heaven.”

Let kids ask questions. Many adults have issues about talking about death so kids can believe it’s not okay to talk about being sad or the death. Everyone experiences death differently.

Ask kids questions and listen. “What do you think happens when you die?” “How are you feeling?” Know that sadness, anger and maybe relief are natural emotions to be feeling.

Any child old enough to love is old enough to grieve. Grieving is not a pathology that we need to “fix.” There are ebbs and flows in grieving. Also know that kids (young kids especially) can’t take a lot of intense sadness at once. If they seem really sad but then seem to be happy, that’s normal. If kids are running around laughing at the funeral remember—they’re just kids! Oh, and don’t assume that the death of a pet isn’t as upsetting as the death of a person.

How does age effect how kids deal with death? Of course it depends on the child, but generally…

Kids under 7 don’t understand the permanence of death; they are egocentric and full of magical thinking. Things like “grandpa has gone to heaven and will look down on us” can lead to “grandpa is always watching me.”

Kids 9-12 or so have more awareness of death and can comprehend ideas about an afterlife.

Inform the kids’ school that there’s been a death and ask they can keep an eye on your child. Kids are sensitive to being “different” so may not want to talk about death with their friends, teachers or school counselors.

Letting kids get involved can help them process their grief. Don’t force them to help; offer but don’t push (follow their lead). Decorating the cremation box (which is cardboard), shovel soil into the grave, help spread the ashes, write letters to the deceased for the coffin or cremation box, or write a story/obituary about the deceased. If they want to look at an open casket that’s okay. Ask if they want to speak at the funeral (if appropriate).

Honor the dead with rituals

Light a candle

Do something special on the birthday of the deceased

Make a memory box/scrapbook of their life that you can bring out during holidays

Tell stories about the deceased to keep their memory alive

(Here are some other we've researched)

Make their favorite meal

Visit their grave and bring flowers

Watch their favorite movie, read their favorite book, listen to their favorite music

Plant a memorial tree, buy a memorial bench

Keep an item of clothing that they have in your closet

Lean on others (friends, family, therapists) for your own grieving. If you are not okay you can’t be present for your kids. All of the things mentioned above can also help you (e.g., rituals, processing, etc.)

In addition to being amazing places to eat, drink and make merry, our local restaurants and bars have a secondary task of keeping their establishments safe and healthy, not only for families but for all visitors. Recently a local establishment has tightened up their house rules for children. Given our interactions with businesses in the past we know that there are many attempts to work with families before deciding to establish “kid-friendly” hours and rules. We know that it only takes a few people’s behavior to cause these changes, and we want to remind you that there are many citywide rules and safety regulations (FDNY and Department of Health) imposed on bars and restaurants.

Here’s the ask. We ask that you be extra-considerate and neighborly at our local bars and restaurants, where people may be looking for a break from kids (theirs, others’, both) and could conceivably mistake our children's fabulosity for excess. Here are some guidelines, recommendations and rules from local bars and restaurants that we’ve heard from over the past 15 years. We feel that these rules should apply to ALL families patronizing restaurants and bars so that these establishments remain welcoming to families. If you feel we’re missing anything from the list below, shoot us an email at
and we’ll add it to the list.

· Children should be supervised at all times. Wait and bar staff are not de facto babysitters when parents are not paying attention.

No changing diapers outside of the bathrooms. (This is a health issue and could result in hefty fines for a bar/restaurant. It’s also just uncouth).

If you are waiting outside, please do your best to not block the sidewalks or doorways.

If your child is screaming or crying for more than 30 seconds and cannot be consoled, please be considerate and remove them from the scene until they are calm.

If your child is throwing food/drink/silverware onto the floor do your best to stop the behavior. Do not place the spoon they just threw on the floor back into reaching distance.

No running, pushing or horseplay.

Strollers must not block the front entrance or emergency exits. (This is a fire hazard and could lead to unsafe conditions as well as fines for a bar/restaurant)

If you can come without a stroller please try to do so. Bringing strollers into businesses means less walking space for others; please be mindful of passageways.

Do not let your child sit directly on the floor, inside or outside.

Shoes and clothes must be worn at all times.

Keep young children with you at your table rather than have an unsupervised “kids table.”

Stay within arms reach of the kids you’re responsible for.

Do your best to pick up after your kids if they make a giant mess.

Do not leave dirty diapers in the bathroom garbage without first wrapping them up in something airtight. (Small spaces and dirty diapers do not go together.)

The overwhelming majority of our groups (especially our baby groups) have wonderful relationships with our local bars and restaurants. We want to do our best to ensure that these positive experiences continue. If you’re meeting up with your PSP group friends, please buy something from the meet-up place, tip the baristas and wait-staff generously, pick up after yourselves, make sure you have everything you came with, and be the kind of people who management and staff want to welcome back.

What: Public art installation with a functional role in cervical cancer preventionWhere: Stone House, 5th Ave at 3rd St., Brooklyn When: One day only, January 25, 2018, 12-8

Dr. Maggie Carpenter, founder of Go Doc Go, and Artist Ryan Cronin have found a beautiful intersection between art and medicine that empowers women, raises cervical cancer awareness, and challenges our current approach to healthcare in the United States. Maggie and Ryan first began working with one another through Cronin’s charitable fund 12 Months of Giving. The Fund supports the work of not for profits whose mission is to be agents of change, one of the key missions behind Go Doc Go’s work.

For the past five years Go Doc Go has focused its efforts on preventing cervical cancer in low and middle-income countries, but when the political climate in the United States shifted and the current administration put into motion an attack on women’s healthcare, Dr. Carpenter approached Cronin about collaborating to take action here in the States. Through a series of sit-downs the two conceived the idea of “The Box;” a public art piece that also acts as a privacy booth for women to self-swab a sample for HPV testing, allowing women to take their healthcare into their own hands. Traditionally cervical cancer screening has been done with a pap smear which required a doctor’s visit. Now HPV testing is an established alternative to pap smear screening in women 30-65. Studies have shown that women are capable of self-collecting their samples and the art installation will provide a safe, private place for women to do so.

Over the last twenty years as a physician, Dr. Carpenter has witnessed the multitude of barriers to health care. From the wall-like booths and windows on walking into a doctor’s office, to the long waits for both an appointment and in the provider’s office, it is a struggle for anyone to practice good self-care. Cronin embraced the opportunity to use art to make healthcare more inviting by intersecting the two.

Dr. Carpenter and Ingrid Frengle-Burke, FNP, the executive and assistant directors of Go Doc Go, will be onsite on January 25th, assisting women. They will be contacting women by phone to given them their results. The tests are being processed by bioreference laboratories at a reduced cost which will be paid by Go Doc Go if women do not have insurance. Any women with abnormal results will be referred for further evaluation locally.

The Stonehouse will be the first of many showings of the Art installation raising awareness about cervical cancer, challenging traditional approaches to healthcare, and preventing it by diagnosing HPV before it has time to become cancer. They invite the public to a part of this ground breaking approach to health care.

Paid family leave in New York goes into effect on January 1, 2018. And those who have kids in 2017 may take paid family leave in 2018, as long as they take leave within a year of the birth.

In response to the many questions on various Park Slope Parents listserves, Park Slope parent & ABB Board Member Elizabeth Saylor put together the below question and answer. Molly Weston Williamson, a staff attorney at A Better Balance, helped her with this. If you are an employee or independent contractor and have additional questions not answered below, we recommend you call ABB (212-430-5982) or the state’s paid family leave hotline (844-337-6303). Employers, including household employers of nannies or housekeepers, should also call the state hotline for more information.

Elizabeth will also continue to work with PSP and ABB to answer additional questions. Hope this helps. The new law is very exciting but, as with anything new, a bit confusing.