It's like that old philosophical conundrum: "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" the answer to which is obviously "As many as want to."

Even though I did say that he'd want to jerk off 4 to 6 times a day but it's only logistically possible to get away with doing it twice, I quickly forgot I had said that as I started tapping away with my calculator...

It's a question of balance.

If Chuckles, because of his extreme age (giggle) only needs to choke his chicken once a month and he doesn't, he will be out of whack, off centre and in trouble. Then, because all men are liars, there's also this major deficit between between wants and needs that he might be chewing off more than he can swallow.