There's an old story. I don't know if it's true, but it goes like this. Penguins mate for life. And there's a moment when some boy penguin is looking over that infinite expanse of black and white when one female penguin stands out. And he stands out to her. And then, well, that's it. Of all the penguins, these two are now together for life.

A couple months ago, Heather and I went camping with some friends. One morning, we emerged from our tent, bleary eyed. There were a number of dogs camping with us, too, and one of them came trotting over to me, happy as can be.

And I did what I always do. I reached out with both hands and gave him a nice hello rub. Slowly, in my early morning haze, it occurred to me. Something smelled bad. Really bad. I looked down at the happy dog and something in his eyes said to me, "Yeah, I met a skunk. Kicked his ass."

I brought my hands to my face and gave them a good sniff. The smell was intense. Skunk smell is bad from afar. But up close, it's like pure essence of death.

And my first thought, of course, was: I've gotta share this with Heather!

"Hey, baby." I said, walking to her, arms outstretched. "Smell this!"

And as she was bent over, hands on her knees, gagging and on the verge of vomiting, I knew I'd found my penguin.

Inspired by Shabbat Salons, comedian Heather Gold brings the talk show format into the 21st century. Her live talk show mixes thinkers, entertainers, doers and the audience with humor, curiosity and yes, a little soul.

This Friday's show is all about "Intimacy" and features comedian and survivor's rights activist Betsy Salkind, author/spoken word artist Michelle Tea, and yours truly, talking up digital intimacy.

This post is all about my wife, the lovely and talented Heather Powazek Champ (yes, she took my last name as a middle name, though she calls it her first last name, and it doesn't have a hyphen - we like to be difficult).

You knew she was a photographer and started the Mirror Project, but did you know that she's funny? And not funny in the head (though, well, maybe, but only in the good way), but funny in print. Check out this great interview and her recent thoughts on the joy of PMS. Funny!

She's also entrepreneurial. Last year she created the Print Club, where you could sign up for a year of monthly photos in your real live mailbox - plus one on your birthday! - for less than most people spend on coffee a year (or, at least, me). And by the way, you can sign up for Print Club 2005 now. (Makes a great gift!)

When Heather and I got married, my uncle Harry officiated. Harry, dad's little brother, is a judge and a great guy. So Heather and I were lucky to be able to be married by family.

But here's the thing about wedding ceremonies: They suck. I mean, all of them. They're either so traditional as to be painful ("honor and obey" would have made everyone in our audience laugh out loud) or so new agey you'd hardly know a wedding was going on.

So Heather and I rolled our own. We each wrote our vows and we collaborated on the entire ceremony. As a writer, it was a challenge I'd never even considered. What would a meaningful, emotional, sincere yet irreverent wedding ceremony sound like?

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Working the web since 1995, Derek Powazek is the creator of many award-winning websites, a couple of which still exist. Derek is the cofounder of JPG Magazine and the CCO of 8020 Publishing. Derek lives in San Francisco with his wife, two nutty Chihuahuas, a grumpy cat, and a house full of plants named Fred. More »