Rolls-Royce $403,000 Phantom II’s Refrigerator Is Extra

Times are tough, so it’s hard to
imagine someone actually plunking down $403,000 for a new Rolls-
Royce. Right?

Wrong. I left a brand-new Rolls-Royce Phantom in a
Manhattan garage for just one night and the next morning found a
note on the windshield that read: “If your RR is for sale,
please call.”

The wannabe buyer must have had an eagle eye. This was the
latest Phantom, the Series II, which recently received a raft of
subtle revisions to its exterior and mechanicals. It starts at
$403,570. My car also had $66,000 in options. That’s the Royce
way.

The adjustments are hardly obvious, yet they make the
Phantom a smidgen more modern and therefore more enticing to
those affluent enough to afford a Rolls-Royce -- and spot in a
Manhattan garage.

BMW, which owns the brand, has been producing the Phantom
since 2003. In terms of weight and girth and overall charisma,
the Phantom is the Goliath of the industry. Consider it the
anti-Lotus.

Elusive Physics

It puts me in the mind of cruise ships and the way they
somehow stay afloat. Take something that big and heavy, stuff it
with furniture and cutlery and groaning buffet tables, and it
still manages to bob atop the ocean. The physics elude me.

The Phantom is the ocean liner of the road. It’s so big
that calling it a sedan seems backhanded (the Brits prefer
“saloon.”) Nineteen feet long and 6.5 feet wide and easily
6,000-plus pounds when filled with options, fuel and humans, by
all rights the thing should wallow and waddle. Yet, no.

Feather along in traffic, and there’s never any hesitation,
no rocking or lurching or unseemly shifting of weight. If you
need to make a quick getaway or hit the highway, the 531-pound-
feet-of-torque, 6.75-liter, V-12 engine is certainly game.

Whoosh. Sixty miles per hour in less than six seconds, and
your back-seat passengers won’t spill a drop of Krug.

Hood Ornament

The upraised badge on the hood (the less-than-modestly
named “Spirit of Ecstasy”), makes an appealing target sight.
Aim it where you’re going and trigger the gas.

Of course, gun the Phantom and gas mileage suffers. You’ll
do poorer than the already-feeble EPA estimate of 11 city and 14
highway. Most owners probably own an oil refinery anyhow.

The features that differentiate the Series II include a
new set of headlights that gives the front end a crisper look.
These rectangular LEDs replace the rounded orbs of old.

A new eight-speed ZF automatic transmission makes gear
transitions smoother, and the navigation and infotainment
systems are upgraded to BMW (BMW)’s latest iDrive, also found on the
BMW 7 Series. Luxury in electronics is having them actually
work.

The Phantom’s interior has more cow hide than you’ll find
at some Texas ranches. My test car also included such road-
going necessities as a wood-lined cigar case secreted in the
glove compartment; Rolls-Royce-embossed crystal glasses in the
doors; thick-pile carpet which would be at home in Windsor
Castle; and a rear-seat cooler that fits petite champagne
bottles.

$4,050 Humidor

Still, it’s hard to fathom how a non-Italian, non-exotic
car can cost so much. Eye those aforementioned accoutrements and
start thinking how much they’d actually cost if you bought them
a la carte (a mini dorm fridge, some carpet remnants, glasses),
and stuffed them in a minivan. After all, the Royce’s
refrigerator runs $4,100, the glove-box humidor $4,050.

Yes, the car is handcrafted, and made in Britain even.
(Goodwood, in West Sussex, is not the historical home of the
brand, but it sounds awfully authentic, doesn’t it?) Figure that
paying all those workers in pounds isn’t cheap either.

That’s not the reason you opt for a Rolls-Royce though.
It’s the synthesis of German engineering and old-world
craftsmanship. Everything you touch is actually real and feels
good on the skin.

Midtown Sanctuary

And you buy it for this. Midday in Midtown Manhattan, one
of the noisiest places in the world. Windows up in the Phantom,
you can’t hear a darn thing. No blasting of horns or jabbering
of pedestrians on cell-phones. You can’t smell the questionable
meat being cooked by sidewalk vendors, either. Methinks that
alone is worth many pounds of sterling silver.

The Phantom also comes as both a coupe and a convertible;
which makes little sense except to the most egotistically
minded. That you, the driver, need that much mass to move
yourself is akin to taking a Learjet to Boston and back. Yeah,
that kind of rich.

For a car which is all about the luxuries in the back seat,
my passengers had a few complaints. The rear side windows are
rather small, actually, they couldn’t see out as well as they
would have liked. There is no panoramic moon roof for looking up
at the Chrysler building. For some, it felt a bit too private
back there.

But then again, to paraphrase F. Scott Fitzgerald: the
Uber-rich aren’t like you and me.

The 2013 Rolls-Royce Phantom Series II at a Glance

Engine: 6.75-liter V-12 with 453 horsepower and 531 pound-

feet of torque.

Transmission: Eight-speed automatic.

Speed: 0 to 60 mph in less than six seconds.

Gas mileage per gallon: 11 city; 14 highway.

Price as tested: $469,948.

Best feature: All the interior toys.

Worst feature: Limited visibility out rear passenger

windows.

Target buyer: The really rich.

(Jason H. Harper writes about autos for Muse, the arts and
leisure section of Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are
his own.)