The sex tape which features Playboy Playmate, Nicole Narain, and Colin Farrell may be available to the public soon. Farrell’s attorneys are trying to prevent this from happening, but Narain is working hard to cash in on this tape which she owns. She and the attorneys for Internet Commerce Group (ICG) with whom she recently signed a deal to release and distribute the tape are feeling pretty confident they will win the case.

David Gingras, the lawyer representing ICG in the case, says the situation presents the potential for a precedent-setting interpretation of copyright law. I’d like to think this is a no-lose situation,” he says. “If we do lose, this will be the rule for every other [similar] case that arises. If you have one person on a tape that says ‘I don’t want it out there,’ if there are 20 people on the tape and one can stop everyone else, that will really restrict people’s access to information. “We view it as a pretty important case to win,” Gingras says. “There are issues in this case that could go all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.”

Meanwhile, one of ICG’s websites, HollywoodSexTapes.com, is not selling the tape, but is now running teaser ads for the tape which when clicked link to other legal to sell celebrity sex tapes.

I know Colin Farrell doesn’t need any extra help with his career or publicity with something like this, but it couldn’t hurt either. The only time these celebrity sex tapes have a negative impact is when they feature gross people like Tonya Harding and her husband. And the only people that tape hurts are the people who watch it. I know. I’ve barely recovered. The doctor says my eyeball burn scars may not heal, so I may need an eyeball transplant. I’m thinking of selling one of my sex tapes to pay for it. The one with me, Mr. T and the rest of the A-Team will probably sell the most. Especially because Mr. T was spanking me and calling me “fool” the whole time. That was so hot.

The next chapter of “101 Ways to Beat a Dead Horse” is about Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s show, A Simple Life, being picked up for a fourth season by the E! channel. It might be fun to watch the E! channel’s version just to see how they manage to pull this off since Paris and Nicole hate each other and no longer speak to each other.

After the girls’ mysterious bust-up in January and falling ratings, the Fox network announced there was no room for The Simple Life last month. However, E! announced Monday they would take over the show, altering the format so Hilton and Richie do not have to share screen time.

So they won’t be filmed together. Paris is probably used to that since she likes to publicly make out with people who almost don’t respond to her like she was with on-again boyfriend Stavros Niarchos (“Starving Nachos”) here a few nights ago in some club, or party, or whatever. She has probably tongue kissed a bathroom stall door handle before, so this type of response is nothing new. Normally the “keep your hands on your lap and to yourself” rule only applies in strip clubs, but Stravros uses it with his own girlfriend. If a giant insect started crawling on me like that, running away while flailing my arms and screaming would probably be my reaction rather than sitting there and taking it.

The next chapter of “101 Ways to Beat a Dead Horse” is about Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s show, A Simple Life, being picked up for a fourth season by…

Britney Spears took another huge step away from good taste and class when she recently blew a small fortune on Christmas decorations for her son’s room.

The pop princess, and husband Kevin Federline, have transformed his bedroom into the nativity setting in celebration of his first festive holiday. [Britney] has splashed out on the lavish decorations – which include six waxwork models and several life-size toy donkeys and cattle. A source close to the star is quoted by Britain’s Daily Star newspaper as saying: “It cost an absolute fortune. But at least she didn’t have to buy a baby Jesus – because Sean is playing the part.”

In keeping with the ‘white trash’ theme they have going the rest of the year, I assume Brit and Kev’s plastic donkeys and cattle will be moved to their front lawn after Christmas. Those things will join the other inevitable collection of lawn ornaments which will include a broken washer and dryer, empty beer cans, a rabid dog and a rusted out, primer colored ’74 Chevy Monte Carlo. No lawn chairs, though. Some things need to stay on the porch.

Britney, I swear. Every time you wear pants that are so long they turn into footie pajamas, I break out in hives.

If he’s brought to trial and convicted, Michael Jackson faces up to 20 years in prison for trafficking and abusing drugs. The Sun Online has a juicy article about the investigation and allegations which I hope will spawn another infamous and ridiculous standard Jackson “I didn’t do it, everyone is mean to me, boo hoo, poor me” video they all make when they’re in trouble for something they did. Because those are funny.

He is suspected of transporting drugs from California to Bahrain, where he currently lives, and obtaining them with fake prescriptions… The swoop also unearthed the cocaine traces on the singer’s underwear. Residues of the painkiller Demerol and sedative Promethazine were also said to have been on the garments… The Neverland stash allegedly included bottles of Vicodin, Oxycontin, Versed, Promethazime, Xanax and Valium.”

In other Jacko news, Debbie Rowe, the former beard wife of Michael Jackson and the mother of Prince Michael Jr. and Paris recently revealed Michael is not the biological father of the kids. What’s the word I’m looking for? Oh, yeah. DUH! (“O RLY?” works, too.)

She tells the paper: “Michael knows the truth – that he is not the natural father of Prince Michael Jr and Paris. He has to come clean. I have no information whatsoever about the identity of the semen donor for either child as such (semen) was obtained anonymously from a semen bank under an agreement of confidentiality.”

If we could bottle up all of the lies and lunacy which come from the Jackson family it could be one of those things people travel hundreds, even thousands, of miles to see in person. Kinda like Easter Island or the “World’s Largest Ball of Twine”. Michael could even set up a booth out front and try to sell his CDs nobody is buying anymore. But since these people get crazier every day, we’d constantly need to upsize the bottle and that could get costly. Well, it’s a work in progress, and the ideas just keep popping.

If he’s brought to trial and convicted, Michael Jackson faces up to 20 years in prison for trafficking and abusing drugs. The Sun Online has a juicy article about the…

In what may or may not have been a tongue in cheek answer to an interviewer’s question, Matt Damon said George Clooney likes to flirt with him and can’t keep his hands off of Matt’s butt.

He said: “George grabs my ass every day. At least once a day. That’s why I’ve done three movies with him”. But during the making of the movie, Clooney became so depressed after piling on the pounds for his role [in Syriana], Damon found he was no longer the centre of his attention. He added to America’s Cinema Confidential website: “George is normally so fun and vibrant–like grabbing my ass – but during the shoot he really wasn’t. He was very serious.”

This reminds me a little of that time I was the “Official NFL Butt Slapper”. Any time there was a congratulatory or motivational ass slap needed, I was there. And I was really good at it until those darn NFL corporate bigwigs fired me. You might hear a version of this story from someone else which claims that I never had that job and I was actually arrested when I snuck on the field at Texas Stadium, but that’s all a big bunch of malarky. Tom Cruise is just mad I got the job and he didn’t.

Clooney and Damon are pictured below at the premiere of Syriana on November 20th. Noticeably missing is Clooney’s right hand in the last two pictures.

In what may or may not have been a tongue in cheek answer to an interviewer’s question, Matt Damon said George Clooney likes to flirt with him and can’t keep…

Heidi Klum has been named in a lawsuit by a guy who alleges he created Project Runway.

Writer Joel Lamontagne claims he wrote a script for a reality show, called America’s Fashion Designer Search, and registered it with the Writer’s Guild of America in 2003. In legal papers, obtained by entertainment news website TMZ.com, Lemontagne also names Elizabeth Hurley, who will host the British version of the hit U.S. cable show, and Walt Disney Pictures and Miramax Films, the companies behind the reality series. The writer has also named all of the sponsors of the show, including The Gap and L’Oreal, in his suit, filed in Los Angeles.

I don’t watch this show for the same reasons I don’t sleep on a bed of nails and punch myself in the face. There’s about 5 seconds of Heidi Klum and 58 minutes and 55 seconds of painfully mind numbing crap, so the not even one chance I gave the show was more than enough. The only reason I’m posting this story is because it’s a slower than slow news day and I’m filling this space with Heidi Klum’s May 2005 Arena Magazine shoot which is about a zillion point nine times more entertaining than Project Runway.

Cameron Diaz may not be much of an actress, but she’s damn good at annoying people and not thinking before she opens that gigantic hole in her face. She managed to insult an entire group of disabled people by referring to her funky shaped body and hyperactive behavior as “spastic”.

The Charlie’s Angels star infuriated UK disability charity Scope (formerly called The Spastic Society) – who help people suffering cerebral palsy – with her inadvertent insult, and they have warned her to watch her words. A spokesperson for Scope says, “We are keen to remind Cameron Diaz that, as a role model, she should watch her language. Likening her ‘wild days’ to acting like a ‘spastic’ is extremely offensive to people with cerebral palsy and perpetuates negative assumptions about disabled people.”

I’m sure Cameron Diaz believes she’s a boiling over pot of lovable fun, so she probably thinks running around shouting things like “Retard!” is super cute coming from her. Guess what, Cameron. It’s not. Not from you. It’s funny coming from anyone but you. I’d rather slide naked down a razor blade and land in a pool filled with salt than listen to your incessant yapping. Now get back to looking miserable while you spend a small fraction of your huge, undeserved fortune like you did in these pictures below from your trip to Rome earlier this month.