Thats when he pulled out the gun. He put it up against my head and told me that if i didnt stop fighting him then he would pull the trigger. And I believed him so i stopped.. I stopped fighting and at that moment my life had changed forever. I felt empty.. numb.. after he was finished with me her threw me back into my room on the bed. I laid there naked and exposed. I was 9.. nine years old. Couldn't cry.. couldn't be mad. I didnt know what to feel. I couldnt feel.

To this day, I resent being born into my family. I still see my sister from time to time, and looking at her still scares me. It hurts knowing I don't love my family. I look at my mother and hate her. It hurts knowing she could have helped me, and chose not to.

hate boys mens all together. I stay as far as aways as i can from people. But through all of that I'm still standing here and telling my story. I'm just gonna try to move on with life.
Thank you for reading my story.

I spoke up at 4….my mother didn't believe me.
I spoke up at 13….my mother told me it was my fault for being friendly and open
I spoke up at 16….my mother told me that all women go through this and that is our lot in life

It was until two hours passed we out of the room and ran to my grandmother. We tried telling her what he did to us but she kept saying not my [S] not my [S] he would never do that. So when my mother arrived I decided that I was going to tell her but keep out the details but that he was just touching us I don’t truly remember her reaction that day.

For the past year I had began to have very complex nightmares. Not the kind where you’re riding a rollercoaster and you fall out or some shit like that. Like surreal ideas that someone I thought would protect me and never harm me did just that.

** Names in this story were changed** She’s grown now but she’ll never be able to live life normally. You stole everything from her. You stole her hopes, her dreams and her ability to ever have any sort of confidence

For years this went on. I blamed myself "I must of done something to show him I was interested" "maybe I should of stayed st home that night none of this would of happened" ofcourse I got worse and worse as the years went on.

I would question myself and wonder why he would want to rape an ugly fat girl like me. I was bullied at my school for being overweight and Muslim. I was scared that no one would believe or care if I told them or that they'd separate me from my family and talk shit about my religion or assume everyone in my religion does that.

I have nightmares of you trying to rape me again. I have nightmares of locked bathrooms and bedrooms, of not being able to escape from your grasp. I am 22 years old now and still live with fear and anger.

A deacon in the church received 3 years probation after raping and molesting a child from 2010-2017 because of lack of evidence. The same deacon had rape before but it was never reported to the police.

I went to sleep without crying. The next night, I couldn't keep it hidden anymore. I told my parents. They believed me, until they started getting the story from me. My aunt and uncle got involved. Soon, I had four very angry adults staring down at me, believing I'd made up the rape allegation for some drama. They told me it wasn't rape because it wasn't prosecutable.

I’m always waiting for the next bad thing to happen or for someone to hurt me. Anxiety, depression, and symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and flashbacks) were consuming me while I tried to just let momentum and fake smiles cover it up. That’s just not working anymore.

Here I am 21, years old, I still remember every horrible moment every day even when I wish I can't. I'm not completely sure if it's the reason why but I think all of this has made me severely depressed, some years it wasn't so bad, other years I was I black hole. I felt nothing, I still feel nothing,

I want to tell and cry my eyes out to my sister, but if I do then I won't be able to afford college without my dad. I'm waiting on him to change so i won't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore.

Every time I was running/or pushing him away, we were facing his anger. It was everyday story. I remember sitting in the corner of my cousin's room, scared, closed eyes, covering my ears while he was screaming my name outside. To calm him down, my grandparents and his wife makes me sit next to him in living room. Where he was touching my thighs, trying to kiss me, rotating my face to look at him. I can't forget his scary face and laugh. No one was stopping him, he was coming to my room every other night.

I am sitting here, and a perpetrator is being inaugurated into the presidency, in the United States. I can not function today. I needed to tell my story somewhere because starting last night I kept waking up with these numbers repeating over and over again, my own thoughts and my own story jolting me throughout the night. And today, a day where I can not move. I am frozen.

When I was 14 I used to like going to my cousin’s house on the weekend because of the other kids there. Little did I know I was being watched stared at and completely taken advantage of. I remember that

I am 14 now, and i have severve PTSD, i can hardly sleep at night and im disgusted with myself. I'm constantly terrified he'll come back, he knows where I live, and hes a family member. My mother trusts him more than my older brother and would make me go places with him if he came back

I felt the most terrible way in the world he kept ignoring my pleas and I had to bear the pain and soon I passed out, i had panic attack, depression and mostly i was traumatized that part of my life is damaged.

Its just really hard and I can't belive I'm actually writing about it. Every time after it happened I would feel ashamed I hated myself for what I was forced to so and could never look at myself the same way. I lost all my innocence.

Then, his cousin would tell him what else to do to me. I've always wondered if his cousin abused him. It went on for about two years. I always thought that if I told anyone, people would believe him because he was younger.

When people talk about rape, they often think rape steals your innocence. For me, rape and sexual abuse atole everything! It stole my entire childhood. It stole my friends and my family. It stole my dreams. It ultimately made me drop out of school. Ive destroyed my body and have scars all over both thighs and from my wrist to my forearm on one arm.