Man, what did I do today? A Saturday given as a gift is hard to pay back when all I’ve done with it is watch tv. Sounds like a lazy thing to do huh! Well lets analyze this for while..

It rained last night so the screen was all fizzy this morning. I opted for DVDs. Its still t.v. so you can’t say I didn’t watch tv.

Tossed in Amandla! The South African documentary about music and its impact, meaning and spiritual sustenance for the South African’s under the yoke of aparthied. The weight of knowing that their song walked with them to the gallows, after their song run with their children to the bullets of riot police and their song comforted their women giving birth in solitary confinement. The music that became violent, yet did not leave the base of their togues, the sounds that caught fire yet couldn’t lite the cigarette that calmed their nerves in the dead of night. A beat that was carried around unlike a weight, it hid in the cave of their mouths, a soul sound that fregmented light skined bones and solidified dark ones. A sound that freed a man and a nation while destroying an already failed people in a foreign land they think they owned. Music..

I was only watching tv..

After that one, I flipped in HBO’s biography! The channels on tv were still mush to say the least. Watched the bio of a dude get from nowwhere to everywhere with a sound curved out as a speech or two. Then see another people, this time with both shades of skin, make the descision to make history curve itself a new. What a person..people..combination of both! What a person to draw that out of them. I had no illusions Obama would rock, to be honest, I think everyone of us does. I just didn’t think he would get the rest of the states to rock simultameously. Yeah they are now loosing jobs and getting to live the rest of the worlds reality. But I think they are in safer of hands..God, and their own descision. Barack better live up to his name..

so,I said I was watching tv.

Slipped in Spike Lee’s Malcom X..now need I go on..

I like my tv.. should give her a name..wendeline! She talks a lot, I guess not naming here after people I know would be the least I can do for my friends.

So back to my weak-end, a -not convinced I am IT- self image. Sooner or later I’ll get to the facts and learn the world is waiting for me to change it.

You have your self a great weak-end to..of course, what are you doing with it?

Define an interesting half-day. Didn’t know what happened most of it. I should clarify. No, nothing ending with the word ‘toxin’ was involved. No powdery or leafy substance was in my possession. Moving at great speeds then suddenly stopping was not an option either and no..i did not see dead people! Though there was this girl..hmm. So I did this thing..talk to a lady. Yeah, that was really it. You musn’t be curious. We discussed the recession, professional inconsistencies and a 30% increase in the necessity of education among the recess-ed! Nope, not one to get jitters when talking to girls..or boys. Just not a fan of staring my future in the face wondering if I am ready for it yet.

Defining an interesting half-day. This is how you know something is important; you think about it..and agree with yourself it is important. This is how you know it scares you half blue, you get insomnia and a vitamin C defeciency. I carried all my papers in a file. All the originals so i was careful not to drop them in puddle of mud. I was there 24 minutes early. Asking the receptionist whether she had seen her, I caught myself staring at what should have been a name tag on her chest. Sad..it wasn’t there. I got the -what are you looking at- stare. I asked if she knew where she was. “Breakfast, you can sit there and wait if you want.” she knew who I was talking about. She knew why, she smiled and sympathized. Am the obeying kind. I sat.

Defined interesting half day. The Doctor was impressed. Young, focused and well written were the essays. But wrong course young man. Not old and experienced enough. “I will move your application to the other progam. Suits your needs more, is among your peers..and is two years long..a year longer than this one.” “cool”..and that is really the best i could come up with. I’d shoot myself, but I come with no spares. ” The 400 more applicants make it a tad more difficult. People go to school when there is a financial problem. But I will send a recommendation too because I have seen you.” OK! I have her card, and the calm of being normal has returned. Coolest 30 minutes of my life. Walked through the park, picked a bus and got home by 1130hrs.

The rest of the day. Slept. Its back to work tomorrow, but not business as usual. I still might get it.

You know, ‘no power’ can mean lot’s of things depending on where you are. In my home town, it means lights out (they just went) while in Zimbabwe, its an MDC thing to have ‘no power’. But am not a politician…right now. In the Middle-East it can mean both issues at the same time while in Russia it means ‘no money’. In church, it’s a God thing..or the lack thereof. Remember Charles Barkley..well his slams had ‘no power’ when Jordan came along. Jane Fonda believes its a food thing while the Pope has a conspiracy around him and ‘no power’ if John Hagee has his way. I have nothing against either of them, then again being politically correct has its ‘no power’ moments…makes you seem spineless. (Lights just came back..sounds like they stepped out for a smoke! English is weak!)

More desperate people have a deeper sense of no power. They are deep..use words like ‘origin, roots, belong and ancestry’. ‘no power’ is no home, no singularity, no colour, no language, no sense of source. ‘no power’ is like a mercedes with no logo, a black and decker with no stamp, a Gucci with no Gucci, a pencil with no Steadler, a South Africa with no Mandela.

Walking in the shadow of a giant is like ‘no power’ relationships which you might be in right now. Go for a concert..

After a long pause, i think…i digressed. I sent a pal for some powder to kill ants. Couldn’t find it. He left me a note. It read ‘no power’. Two things; he can’t spell..and he was twice right. No powder, no power..ants running wild.

In about a week from Monday I will sit opposite a lady as familiar to me as the a T-rex, Lockness monster or Micheal Jackson..more in the dark skin days, to convince her that I am a blank page in some kid’s history book, waiting to be written. So now, its 1am and I have the perverted job actually being that history. Looking at my second blog post ever and my disdain is evident. I think i will belch. Reaching for a glass..milk.

Just left my sister and her beautiful 4 day old baby. Enya is her name. Tiny is her frame. Ohh..it rhymed. She was the most beautiful thing. And cries like madoff owed her. Is strange how much effort goes into making the reality fit to a dream. Less people around you..that way you stick to your guns and have less confrontaions with pride and the solidity of the mushyness of faith. I looked at that little little girl and I guaranteed in my heart that she would have everything she would need to curve out her future on her own. And I fear for her..I still have to get my witts around me. Either that or she will be a a pretty number that sums up a cencus of people fitting a certain geographical space. I reach for my glass…more milk.

Life changes in such a short time. What is a ponzi (sp) scheme. The documentary has not ended. Madoff. When watching HOUSE i learnt something from the butt-forested doctor…sometimes knowing the diagnosis is the problem. Its more fun guessing..and a better learning experience. And that his wife is hot!

In about a week from Monday I will sit opposite a lady as familiar to
me as the KKK, Irish resistance movement or The Fly..wit a big sting, to convince her that I am a blank page in some kid’s
history book, waiting to be written. So now, its 1:42am and I have the fear of actually being that history trying to creep up on me. Thinking if I don’t sleep the day will take a longer time to arrive. Looking at my second blog
post ever and my appreciated success. I think i will belch. Reaching for my glass for the last time..milk.

Brilliant essays, perhaps much unlike this one, have been written in an attempt to epitomize a meaningful existence This first blog will assess two truths. The first is the undeniable

fact that I am invariably human, with my success and failures, all, my actions based on my input and best effort. They are the result of keen focus, lanky scribbling hands, intense concentration, analytical thought process and regurgitated understanding. Though accurate in my gratitude and need for improvement, the second truth about his blog is that I am not quite adequately, the true representation of who I can become. I hope i haven’t lost you yet..

In the 29 years I have walked cognitively on this planet, I have been surrounded by the verbal and environmental assertions constantly suggesting I am not the master of much. Africans, most neither the pleasure of being the best at anything of notoriety nor even something flimsy to carry home under a bright afternoon sun, have learnt
to take their place among the ones who ‘could not’ and I embraced it wholeheartedly. I did the same, but with a twist. My perspective would be of ‘the one that got away’.
I would strive to be more than I was labeled. Not because it took much to settle for what I was meant to believe. After all, as an Kenyan in a developing country full of many more ‘mediocre’, it would be more like being the norm. It would
take more of me not to, and I would have to think myself special to try. To date I have many successes because of diligence and determination, but more so because of the many more failures from which I have learnt and grown from, making each success more prolific.

I live the tale of those shaking off the dirt of flawed identities, grinding lack, and a soul-less existence to rise to heights previously unknown in a society in which natural selection is development in its most compassionate form. There is lot’s I was not meant to do..that I did a while back. I cannot guarantee the direction my future will take but I can guarantee its foundation; relentless hard work, unquestionable character, an optimistic attitude, faith to strive
and aspire and compassion towards my fellow man. My interpretation of success is not superiority to others, but as a mirror on which others see the reflection of who they can become when they embark on the journey of applying themselves and realizing their true potential.

Nowhere in this blog will you find an excuse for my median performance. You will find instead the hopes, aspirations and determination that come together to construct the young man who puts these words down. This is as
much the proof of my growth as it is a declaration of purpose. My being is set on diligently working to be one of repute and of prudence. Yet though I will seek but neither guarantee honors in ribbons nor distinctions in delirium (those , i figure, aren’t worth pursuing..they do the following), I will pledge myself to champion respectable yet fierce debate,
complete immersion in information acquired and knowledge shared, passionately interaction and genuine student involvement with a consistent clarity of vision and steadiness of character.

I have learnt empathy and compassion for those who can not understand, can not afford,can not stand up and have been left out. I have applied myself to know-how, mastering the propensity to reach-out, and honed the expertise that makes me the example and helps me lead the way. I know to embrace partners over policy, principle over practice and people over process. And I do enjoy an hour of cartoons…

Few, while in their sun set years, confess to living a life of fully realised potential. I know with a deep level of certainty, that with my determination and your opportunity, I will add my name to that plak that proves that I to and those
like me, can be brilliant.