MY KINDA MOVIE …

Go buy Major League on DVD! (So Paramount loves me!)

FYI:This site is in no way affiliated with Major League Baseball, the Cleveland Indians, Paramount Pictures, James Gammon or anyone else involved in the making of the greatest baseball movie ever.
-- "Lou Brown"

The off-season is like watching Major League: Back To The Minors — you just can’t wait for it to end.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst baseball movie I have ever seen — even if it takes the Major League name created by my boys, my Cleveland Indians, and stomps it into the ground complete with a bee sting in the ass.

From the mascot? We could only be so lucky — that’s one big bee. (And he’s got an attitude as you can see at left.)

It’s worth watching once, OK maybe twice, just so you can get the full impact of computer-generated baseballs — from the pitcher’s hand to the plate and off the bat and into the outfield — along with Ted McGinley.

If it had nothing to do with the Major League franchise, then some of the players might be acceptable, funny, characters. But what they did to Pedro Cerrano once again?

And how did Roger Dorn find all that money to buy the Minnesota Twins when “that bitch” Rachel Phelps took him to the cleaners when he owned the Tribe? And when did Harry Doyle lose his job in Cleveland?

Hot off the heels of yesterday’s landmark — some might say exclusive (but it’s much, much bigger than that) — find, we have gotten our hands on the cards that were intended to be in the 1990 Upper Deck baseball set.

These feature the stars of Major League II — a few guys you have heard of and, based on the box office attendance, some guys you haven’t.

(We won’t mention that the sequel came in 1994 — Major League II documents my squad’s second pennant-winning season, which is firmly 1989.)

We’ve done some nosing around and have found this exclusive first look world premiere scoop of all scoops — the 14 cards pulled at the last second from the 1989 Upper Deck baseball card set. (Including a card of yours truly, Lou Brown.)

You see, Upper Deck had better things to do in 1989 than include a real Star Rookie named Ricky Vaughn in its inaugural baseball card set. (They instead opted for some bum named Ken Griffey Jr. for card No. 1.)

And they made some other last-second changes to the set — opting to not include managers, bench coaches, announcers and even some Major Leaguers in the 700-card first series.

My team was very, very disappointed. However, after 20 years these “missing” cards have been discovered and can only be found here on my blog.

I never really liked that guy — probably because his car cost more than I made in my last five seasons managing the Toledo Mud Hens combined.

Then, again, I did manage to get him a good deal on some whitewalls at Tire World. After that — and our pennant — he gave me a Rolex, so I can’t complain.

Once he got over my stance on calisthenics, and stopped acting like he was centerstage in the Playa Tijuana bullfighting stadium, he became quite a spark for my team. For some reason, he also seemed to listen to Jake Taylor a little more as the season progressed. And he always seemed to light a fire under Ricky Vaughn, too.

He’s good with his investments, so I’m sure he’s rebounded quite well from his short-lived stint as the Indians owner.