Ouija 2 Is Happening Because $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Hide your kids and hide your wife, because something truly scary is about to happen. Ouija, the movie about a bunch of teens who mess around with a ouija board that totally sucked, is getting a sequel. And it’ll presumably be just as sucky or even suckier than the first, and still make a ton of money.

This horrendous news was revealed by Collider, who sat down for an interview with Andrew Form and Brad Fuller, two thirds of Platinum Dunes production company. (The other third, in case you didn’t know, is Michael Bay.) When asked what was in the works, Fuller said:

"Ouija 2" is coming."

There’ve been no more terrifying words uttered in recent memory.

The first film told the story of a group of teens trying to make contact with their recently deceased friend through a ouija board but are instead haunted by a demonic entity that soon begins killing them off. To say that it received low and harsh critical reviews is an understatement. The premise was dull, the scares were cheap and it was mainly comprised of overused horror genre cliches. To put it simply, it was lazy storytelling. However, it was made on such a low budget and made so much more money (close to $85 million in worldwide sales) that, of course, these guys have to be developing Ouija 2.

Our only hope is that maybe the producers and screenwriters will turn this into more of an anthology story. Rather than focus on any characters from that blunderous movie, it should develop a whole slew of stories around this board. But they should also get rid of the object’s origin story.

The only good thing to come out of Ouija was that adjoining viral video prank that took the Internet by storm. The guys from Thinkmodo, the digital agency responsible for making that hilarious "Devil Baby" prank and the flying stunt for Chronicle, transformed a wine shop into a fake psychic parlor so they could scare a bunch of people looking for a free reading. It had a mechanically controlled ouija board, a fake psychic who popped her eyes out and a woman in costume who sprang up from under the floor boards for a final scare. It was far more entertaining than the film.

Thankfully, Platinum Dunes is also hard at work on making The Purge 3, which is a franchise more worthy of its time. While writer-director James DeMonaco said a while ago that he was considering taking the third installment back to the very first night of The Purge, Fuller and Form said they aren’t moving in that direction. All signs now point to it being a direct sequel to Anarchy. We’re not all that picky what we get from this one, because it’s proven that entertaining stories can come out of this world. Ouija, on the other hand, has its work cut out for it.