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6 Ways To Pretend That You Have Your Life Figured Out, For Weddings and Family Events

Haven’t we all been there? You are trying to enjoy yourself at a wedding, or some other affair when a family member or long time friend asks what you have been up to. They definitely aren’t asking what hobbies you have been dabbling in, they are trying to figure out if you have finally gotten your life together. They want to know about your livelihood… eek. “So what do YOU do these days?”

1. Tell them what you actually do. Just kidding. Nobody wants to hear about your part time job that you’ve had since high school.

2. Tell them what you plan on doing once you get it together. Set the bar high for yourself. The higher the better. You can impress your family members just by telling them your hopes and dreams. This is probably your only chance to actually impress them.

3. Bore them by talking about the minute details of your job or career. The more jargon the better. You can potentially get them to fall asleep at this point.

4. Tell them what your significant other does. If they aren’t at all impressed with your livelihood, they can at least rest assured that one of you is bringing in the dough.

5. Point out how unsuccessful other people in your life are. Comparison, comparison, comparison. Extra points if you have a deadbeat brother. Unlucky for me, my brother is actually pretty successful.

6. Tell them what you do, what you want to do, AND how you plan on getting there. This is the most fail-proof method. If they judge you it’s no big deal. Your life is mostly about yourself and a supportive family should have no problems with that at all.