First, let’s start with this: the only people who really get to be pissed at Jussie Smollett are the people who cared when they thought he was telling the truth. The other only people who get to be pissed at Jussie Smollett are the members of the marginalized communities he represents. Period. If you’re not sure who I’m talking about, Jussie Smollett is an actor who is Black and gay, and recently posted that he’d been hospitalized after being attacked… Read more

It started before I even woke up: all the promotional emails piled up in my inbox, determined to usurp Black History Month and turn it into a retail bonanza designed to grab my dollars, but not necessarily to put them into the pockets of actual Black people. While it’s good and right and necessary to celebrate and lift up Black History Month, as a white woman who wants to do better, I’d rather find ways to authentically and actually celebrate… Read more

We white people love to feel comfortable, and nothing can make us feel better about ourselves than some snippets of MLK’s I Have a Dream speech on a cold January day. Before you share your own well-curated meme on social media, I encourage you to do a little research. Because if you’re anything like I was prior to last August, you’ll be shocked at how radically uncomfortable Dr. King might be able to make you. So before you share your pretty… Read more

The first time I ever heard Leonard Cohen’s Halleluja was at a funeral. It has forever ruined me for the song — I have no idea who the woman was who sang it that sad day, but she should be the only person who ever sings it again, ever*. The funeral was for my former boss, Ron. Like the woman who sang for his funeral, Ron ruined me for all bosses since. Ron was one of a kind. Tall, with… Read more

As someone whose mother-tongue is Jersey Snark, I’m the first to acknowledge my own salty vocabulary. I confess I don’t try very hard — usually — to check myself, because I have found that whenever I try, it just gets worse. Within minutes of promising I’ll never curse again a torrent of curse words will be elicited from my mouth seemingly of their own accord. Of course, I’m a professional, and I recognize when it’s not in my best interest… Read more

I have a new friend I met online. She is a transgender woman who ministers to other trans people out of her pain, out of what she calls the brutality of her existence. The church has made her existence brutal. Christians have made her existence brutal. The world is not a kind place for transgender people, especially not trans women. Especially not trans women who are followers of Jesus. The grace and beauty and love with which she leads is… Read more

I haven’t written here in so long. I have lots of excuses, seminary being a big one. And this year is supervised ministry, to boot, which means on top of trying to study and run my coaching and consulting business and take care of my family and my aging parents and, you know, breathe every once in a while, I’m also doing a ton of work at the church. Which is amazing, and I love, but sometimes there’s hardly room… Read more

I’m not saying my head isn’t exploding after I just watched the video of Ariana Grande getting groped by a pastor in front of millions of people at a funeral. I’m just saying I’m not surprised. This is the kind of crap that women deal with all the f’ing time. As in, #NotAShocker. If you’re shocked, then chances are you’re not a woman. If you’re a woman and you’re shocked, than Go You, because you have managed to… Read more

I confess I have a deep, rich imagination that I like to wander in often, getting lost among the tall, sturdy ideals that grow there. There in that inner land, all is as it should be, and justice has her way. The radical redemption of Jesus is a thing, and so is the revolutionary welcome. In there — that place in my head — there are no children in cages, there are no black men shot down in the street,… Read more

My amazing friend, wife and mom of three, Michelle Ayala, is in the news here in New Jersey. For having the cops called on her. Because she was breastfeeding her child. Now you and me, we’re going to break this shit down a little bit, because yes, it’s ridiculous to have the cops called on you for sitting on the beach feeding your kid. But there’s a bigger issue at play here — there’s a system of… Read more