So You Are Thinking of Adopting…

April 10, 2013

Adoption is about providing parents for children versus finding children for parents. Whether adoption is an idea you’ve considered for ages or it’s a new possibility for you, this decision is life-changing. The choice should be carefully considered.

What are your motives for considering adoption? Some common motivations are:

Wanting a baby

To rescue a child from an orphanage or foster care

To fill an emptiness in our homes and hearts

Wanting to fit in with our peers by having a family

To carry on the family name

To do the “Christian” thing

As a famous comedian once said, “Babies are false advertising.” Behind this lighthearted comment lies an awareness of the reality of raising children. As cute as babies are, they do grow up and the journey is challenging. This is especially true of adoptive parenting.

A living-breathing infant replaced the cute, cuddly, fantasy baby. Parents discover that this child differs from their fantasy. Parents must relinquish their expectation of the ideal baby. Otherwise distress will occur for both baby and parent and will create a barrier to attachment.

So as this quote highlighted, there will be challenges. Your baby will grow up and have ideas, talents, and a personality of his own. In addition to the everyday issues of childhood, he must cope with loss, abandonment and the reality of having two sets of parents.

Adoptive parents must be strongly motivated to nurture and love for a lifetime, not simply for babyhood. Are you ready for this journey?