I hope they threw away the key

I've been on Ars for a little while. Dickered around, mostly on stories. Went to the battleground. Saw things. Went back. Then, I found the Wharrgarbl thread. I read it. and read it. and read it. I was tempted to see the rest of the lounge. Oh sweet god. Oh sweet merciful fuck.

I can see why you need to be a subscriber to get in here. It's to keep people like you all locked up away from the normals. And...shit, I'm committing myself,too. I still smile at the idea of a massive cockpunch (the punch is the thing that is massive here).

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Again, welcome.

Please pick up after yourself, and turn out the lights if you are the last one to leave.

Leaping from post to post, as they float down the mighty rivers of The Lounge. The Giant Jakalwang. The Excession. The Mortus! The mighty BitPoet! The lofty flowering Frennzy! The plucky little fitten! The limping Pokrface tree of Nigeria. The towering Major General Thanatos! The Hound of Cullen! The naughty LimpBagel! The flatulent [insert any Loungian name here]! The bonovoxpsu! The Crackhead Johny! The Ars of Ares!

With my best buddy by my side, we'd sing! Sing! Sing!

[singing]I'm a Loungian, and I'm okay.I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES:He's a Loungian, and he's okay.He works sometimes and he posts all day.

Ok, so I'm going down the checklist... I see we've covered the Frennzy introduction, the Mortusing, and the Hoos song-and-dance number. I believe that leaves us at the part where the new guy posts a picture of himself wearing a frilly pink blouse, clutching fistfuls of raw bacon, and wearing a pancake on his head. Next I seem to recall something about finding Searchy, and after that, I'm pretty sure you'll have to make JimJimmery a sandwich. There's some more after that which I seem to have forgotten... something about giving a walrus a sensual massage?

The alternative is that Aurich can and will demote you to Inexperienced Recruit Alex, New Guy Alex, Private Alex, or Alex's Privates.

I believe that leaves us at the part where the new guy posts a picture of himself wearing a frilly pink blouse, clutching fistfuls of raw bacon, and wearing a pancake on his head. Next I seem to recall something about finding Searchy, and after that, I'm pretty sure you'll have to make JimJimmery a sandwich. There's some more after that which I seem to have forgotten... something about giving a walrus a sensual massage?

Wearing a frilly pink blouse with bacon and pancake accessories? Is it Thursday already?

Alex, you should seriously PM Jim, interrogate him with regard to his infernal longitude (hint: start by checking under your bed and inside your closet), then send the man a goddamn sammich. Just throw it in a box and ship it out. It'll be like the patty melt crisis redux. Godspeed; you're going to need it.

I thought we used to have a perpetual "Best of Lounge" thread where people could recommend the most witty, insightful and enlightening postings woeful, insane, and assXploding posts. One would be especially helpful because forum search has always been mildly retarded. I must not be the only person looking for the one where the dude couldn't take a dump for 2 weeks or the Canadian dildo smuggler thread and coming up empty.

The most seasoned Loungers probably have a bookmark full of those treasures, though it's a frightening thing to consider.

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