December 2012 archive

2012 was the year I learnt to pick up a shit sandwich and turn it into a Shake Shack mushroom burger, with extra cheese and crispy fries on the side.

That’s a terrible analogy, so let me explain. My professional life was turned upside down, but I ended the year with my dream job. My health became confusing, but I didn’t die (or even get sick) and it made us take out health cover so I now get a lame thrill when I hand over a measly $10 at the dentist. We got booted out of our apartment on the north shore, but ended up in an awesome converted horse stable in Balmain with a sweet garden and courtyard. My parents didn’t call me on my birthday and bought me cookware that J-man had actually asked for, so I’ve been lacing their food with arsenic ever since.

So, here it is. The annual yearly review based on what I wrote in my red Moleskine diary. (Here’s 2011, a lazy 2010 version, and 2009)

This was one of the best nights I’ve had in Sydney. It was Sydney Festival’s Summer Sounds and we sat on a picnic rug in the Domain with a bunch of new and old friends. When it started pouring halfway through Mondo Cane, we packed up and went to a nearby apartment where we drank, listened to music and watched an electrical storm dance over the Botanic Gardens.

I should probably re-take this terrible photo. But learn something from me and Jesus and make good out of bad. This was the first of many days we celebrated J-man’s 30th birthday. He put on a rap show at Good God and performed alongside some of his favourite musicians. Only J-man could pull off something like that. My favourite part of this diary entry is “Donny Benet amp fell on my foot :(“. Am I the life of the party or what?

A few days later we were in New York (the third instalment of J-man’s 30th birthday). This was one of many, many days where NYC surprises you with unforgettable, unplanned, face-melting awesome wow. We went to see Judah Friedlander at the Comedy Cellar, which was amazing enough (he commented on J-man’s “giggle”). Then the lights stayed low and Louis CK came onstage for an impromptu 45-minute set. I mean, holy crap.

This was the day we moved from Crows Nest to Balmain. Our “girl-crazy removalists” were serious 24/7 perves. They were 18 at most and couldn’t believe their luck working 50 metres from a girls’ high school. One of them had butt problems and spent half an hour in our toilet at Crows Nest and then christened our toilet in Balmain. I texted my dad to ask if I should take an hour out of his pay, but ended up giving him a tip instead because I live by an “everyone poops” motto. Aside from the comedy, I get great satisfaction out of physical work (giggidy).

This was one of the best days I’ve ever spent with my mum. We went op-shopping in Orange, where she found me an amazing vintage winter coat with a fur collar (may the Easter Bunny rest). We ran into an old school friend of mine, who is living her dream of being an artist. Then we went to a really fun cooking class, where I ate meat. With the dead rabbit and cow, I did not earn my vegetarian badge that day. Have you tried living on lentils and pleather alone? Sheesh.

I loved getting my wisdom teeth out. The whole thing took about five minutes and I had very little pain when the numbness wore off. That didn’t stop me from milking it for all it was worth and forcing J-man to buy me chocolate Yogo and stroke my hair. Success!

We went to Wet ‘n’ Wild on the Gold Coast and I got to hold a little baby. Need I say more?

We went to see J-man’s aunt in a Christmas-themed community play. She was awesome. Then we had afternoon tea with J-man’s mum, grandma and aunt at a cafe in the city. It was the same place J-man and I used to meet our marriage celebrant to organise our wedding. It made me feel warm and fuzzy, and happy to have a wonderful extended family. Spew.