Death of Thatcher leaves field open to new Tory bastards

The death of Baroness Thatcher has opened up new possibilities for leading Tory bastards, say political analysts.

'While Thatcher was still around,' said a seasoned Tory commentator, 'Tory politicians who wanted to really get up the voters' noses had a real job on. Now, at last out of Thatcher's long shadow, George Osborne has a real opportunity to show what an absolute bastard he really is.'

Although Osborne has been 'making a fist' of being 'a complete shit', a commentator pointed out that although 'he is getting there', the Chancellor has yet to turn whole communities into wastelands, completely ruin the economy, or divide the nation.

'With Thatcher gone,' said the commentator, 'Osborne can now really come into his own. At Thatcher's funeral, the bastard was already shedding tears of joy over what he might get up to.'

It's believed Osborne is already preparing plans for his own 'ceremonial' funeral.