The Grammys and Oscar award shows will have a lot of people to include in their memorial montages. Many of the world’s icons from the musical, theatrical, political and athletic industries have passed away in 2009. Just searching for celebrities deaths in 2009 found me this list, last updated Sep 3. Add to that Mary Travers from the group Peter, Paul and Mary, and Kanye’s musical career for the near future.

I hoped that the deaths would stay in Hollywood. Then it closer to home – I heard that a Hong Kong actor, nicknamed “Dai Sor Gor” (大傻哥) for his numerous supporting roles as a gullible villain, passed away from cancer. He had already backed away from the limelight and situated himself as a village mayor/chief, but many Hong Kong citizens still recognize him.

Suddenly… I never expected anything like the following to happen. I didn’t believe it when I heard. A friend from primary school was sent to the intensive care unit after an accident. I haven’t met up with her since I returned to Toronto, and last week was the very first time I’ve seen her since 12 years old. The first glance I see of her is when she was in the hospital bed, unconscious… and it was the last time I will ever see of her.

I can’t say I was close, but this was someone I had a part of my childhood with, even though a brief 3 years. This was someone who did not have her life taken away by a dangerous lifestyle of drugs or speeding or risky activities. You can say she didn’t deserve to have it happen to her. I am just glad– with the little bit of Christian faith in me – that she accepted Christ in the last few days of her life, and that her sister was able to smile as all her friends visited.

So many have used the phrase “summer of death” to label 2009. The ends of the lives of many people brought grief because they have accomplished so much and brought so much to the lives of many. The least I can do is make something from this and make a modest relation to my life. I have finished my undergraduate degree and need to tread my way through the “real world” (or in John Mayer’s words, a lie we gotta rise above). It is the official end of the transition from dependence and childhood. I am still struggling to find myself but, cliché but precisely, I want to have lived my life to the fullest with no regrets. I don’t care about owning sports cars or mansions or having a shoe closet the size of my apartment. I don’t want to be famous for being a talentless Hong Kong singer or pseudo-model (term used loosely). What I want is knowledge, wisdom, trust, faith, loyalty, and people I am comfortable with. In the end when my turn comes, I hope that I would have accomplished what I wanted to, or at least on my way there.

I think I am hoping really hard that deaths mean something, that they didn’t happen just because. There’s always a reason for things to happen, right?