I don't really like the word blog, but it seems pointless to fight it, Zis is a blog.
If you want to know more about an Algerian girl who lives in London and struggles with thoughts that are beyond the remits of her understanding, stories of society and social climbers of love and deception and of a status of seemingly eternal singlehood, then you are in the right place...

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Life continues to be thrilling and fun, work somewhat dwindling due to the market situation, love life completely deserted, social scene: exhilarating, wardrobe completely saturated with designer items in an attempt to compensate shortcomings on other departments, mood swings off the chart and the weight is uncontrollable. What a girl to do?

Female congregation I partook in recently led me to conclude that London is what we all had in common, London is the single mens town ergo the single gals town, thrilling social scene, exhilarating London life, plentiful eye candy for both sexes, high flying busy jobs, all these are factors actively contributing to the unavailability, lack of time and also trust, making the masses of London town chronically single.

Singles looking, matches.com, singles events, speed-dating, meet London singles, single and mingle…wherever you look you see some kind of advert broadcasting this issue and pretending to offer solutions. The truth is these solutions are not everybody’s first choice, Internet dating is still very much seen as desperate and speed dating as the end of romance.
So again I ask: what a girl to do?

Do we resume ourselves to being single?

Women are typically more affected by this issue mainly due to the age factor, body clock and fierce competition from other female hunters; and because women spend the most and the best of their child-baring years with emotionally unavailable men whose sole purpose is to remain single and free despite pseudo-relationships they may or may not form with hopeful and probably naïve women.

Men have always been intrigued by what women discuss when between themselves, if they had the chance to, they would see panic and desperation in some, distress and anguish in others but mostly anger, anger about their situation which in time becomes a resolution to make the most of their singledom and success.

Women’s careers steadily become important parts of their lives, they study, work and strive to achieve an outstanding social and financial status, and this usually takes part between the mid twenties and late thirties, which should we follow the norms, also represents the female’s best period for child bearing or starting a family, most strive to achieve both to the best of their abilities, but it’s a struggle that women have to face alone it seems. It’s almost as though men want to push women to their limits, proving that they (women) cannot achieve both a successful career and a family, women’s careers then hit a systematic downgrade with pregnancy and maternity leave, leaving place to male colleagues who do not have that burden. The knowledge of this discourages women from child bearing resulting therefore in increasing numbers of (older) single girls or a higher rate of divorce.

Another factor contributing to the rise in single girls number in London is the female competition which has become rife in the last few years, it seems there is so much choice for men, blondes, brunettes, party girls, working girls, beauties and cuties, all races and all nationalities, all eager to find a man, who in turn become fastidious players, resulting in the average girls absolute demise and imposed singledom.

Which brings us to another point of focus: Desperation, desperation engenders settling, settling for anybody to avoid loneliness, which then leads to discontent, commitment issues, deception, infidelity, separation, divorce and many unhappy endings which takes us right back to singledom again, singledom that is tainted with emotional trauma and financial problems on top of the social stigmas attached to divorce and older single girls.

Now you might say why London. This problem is not specific to London only, in a general manner yes, by my personal investigations of counterparts in France or the US etc proved otherwise; women do not seem to face the same issue, in the US the dating etiquette proposes that a man should propose marriage if he dates a women for more than a year, dating is a national sport in the US, people occupy themselves with dating until they meet the right person, which implies the reluctance to being single. In France men and women seem to be keen on marring fairly young, the average and accepted age for marriage is 27, marriage is first on the agenda and quick to come by it seems, people tend to be in relationships, being single is not very well regarded. As for London, the fact that it is such a melting pot of cultures and an intensely cosmopolitan city, a career stop spot for most people, means that people do not tend to think about it as home but rather as a temporary base that is necessary for their career development or studies, English lessons or Travel base as is the case for a lot of antipodeans, if it is a temporary base then not many couples tend to form, dating becomes useless and people are more reluctant to form relationships, leaving therefore a large community of people single and looking.

So there you have it: until further news – I and a about 5 million women remain single in London….