Let It Go

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After we get back to the hotel, as soon as Viktor goes into the bathroom for a shower, I grab his phone and start flipping through the pictures. Oh... did I really take off my shirt at the banquet? Did I really take off my....??!!

“Yuri... have you seen my phone?” Viktor calls. I jump and throw the phone into his bed, watching it slide under the pillow. My face is red.

“Hmm? Oh? Don’t you have your phone?”

“Eh – maybe I left it at the restaurant.” Viktor walks out, toweling his hair. He’s wrapped another towel around his waist for modesty. I keep thinking about when he came to visit our hot springs for the first time. Then I realize I’m staring.

Viktor frowns. “Yuri, what’s wrong?”

I can tell my face is all hot and I’m squirming. I have to say something. “Oh... I’m just not feeling so good.” Truthfully, my stomach is uncomfortable. But it’s not for the reason Viktor might think.

He looks concerned now. He puts his hair towel down and comes over to my bed, leaning close. He grunts and puts his hands suddenly on my stomach, and I yelp.

“Shh...” he keeps feeling around with his fingers. Viktor must be warm from the shower, but his touch is still cold. I realize I’m hot all over. “You do seem tense. The Grand Prix Final is in the morning, after all. Unless it’s something you ate?”

“I—” I’m not sure what to say. “It could be, I don’t know...”

Viktor strokes his chin. “Hmm. Well, either way, I know what we need! This calls for—” He pauses. Maybe he doesn’t know how to say it except in Russian. “Клизма,”* he says at last, with a flash of his teeth.

I don’t know the word, but it sounds a little like— “クリスマス？”** I repeat back. Christmas? Weren’t we just talking about that in the market? And Christmas is his birthday… Did he change his mind about celebrating?

“Okay,” I say uncertainly. “Let’s do it.”

“I’ll be right back,” he says. “There’s a store near the hotel that’s still open, I think.” He dresses quickly and goes out.

I’m left rubbing my upset stomach. Part of me wants to dive under Viktor’s pillows and find the phone again, but that will only make it worse. But… I’m not sure anything could make this better. I keep seeing myself on the pole, almost naked, in front of Viktor—in front of everyone—I can’t stand it. My face feels like it’s on fire, and yet, I’m starting to get hard. As soon as I realize it, I roll over on the bed so I’m facing the wall. The only thing worse than having pole danced for Viktor while drunk would be him seeing me like this.

“I’m back!” Viktor says cheerily as the door slams. “They had a kit! I bought two, just in case.”

“Oh… that’s good…”

I hear Viktor’s coat fall, and his footsteps coming toward me. I don’t move. “Oh, poor Yuri. You must be feeling really bad, huh?” He lays a hand gently on my shoulder. “I was going to say we should move to the bathroom, but would you be more comfortable doing it here?”

“Bathroom? What?”

Finally I turn over. Viktor is standing so close over me that at first I catch my breath. Then I see what he’s holding in his other hand.

“WHAT???” I stare at it. It can’t be—is that an enema bag?!

“I know, it’s not the fancy kind,” Viktor says, sighing. “But I can help you with it. You’ve never done it before?”

My mouth has gone dry. I don’t know how to get myself out of this. I’m not even really quite sure what’s about to happen. But my dick is so hard right now, I’m pulling my shirt down to cover it. “I… no, I’ve never…”

“It’s okay, Yuri.” Viktor is smiling now. “Why don’t you get undressed and stand in the bathtub, and then I’ll come in and help you.”

I swallow. How is he going to… Is he going to…?! I can’t manage to speak. I just nod. Then I flee into the bathroom.

As soon as I’m in there, I slam the door behind me and sink to the floor. Ironically, my stomach hurts worse than ever. Maybe it’s because I’m so hard… I groan and wrap a hand over my dick. What if I just… take care of myself in here? Maybe then I won’t be sick anymore. But Viktor would hear me…

“Yuri?” Viktor calls. He taps gently on the door. “Are you ready?”

“Just a minute!” I yell back. I don’t know what to do. Finally I decide just to open the door.

“I…” My face must be purple by now. Viktor is standing so close. He smells like shampoo from the shower he took earlier. The bathroom is still warm, a little wet.

“It’s okay,” he says, stepping into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him, which oddly feels better. He puts the bag and some other things down on top of the toilet. “Here.”

He reaches forward and— “Viktor—”

“Shh.” He’s lifting up my shirt. I let him pull it over my head, too embarrassed to look at him when he’s done. I keep my gaze on the white of the bathtub.

I hear him fold the shirt and put it down. “It’s okay,” he says again, this time low and close, right in my ear. And then I feel his hands on the button of my jeans…

“Viktor,” I gasp, but that’s all I can say. He’s—he’s opening my jeans, and my hard-on is so big, right under his hands. His fingertips brush it as he pulls the jeans down to my ankles. “Ah!”

There’s a pause. He’s waiting for something. “Step,” he says. I do, first one foot and then the other. Then he makes me do it again while he rolls off my socks. Now I’m just down to my underwear and I’m trembling.

I feel his slender fingers under my chin; he makes me look up. When I see his eyes, I gasp. There is something dark, something intense, in the way he’s looking at me now.

“Yuri-kun,” he says. “Do you need me to help you?”

I nod.

His grip on my chin tightens. With his other hand, I feel him roll down my underwear until it comes loose and falls to my ankles.

“Step,” he says again.

Swallowing hard, not daring to break eye contact, I pick up my feet so that I’m out of my underwear. Only then does he let go and bend down to take them out of the tub.

I realize I’ve closed my eyes only because I hear strange sounds: rustling, and then a snap like elastic. I didn’t think I could bear for Viktor to see me naked, but… now I can’t bear not to see what he’s doing.

He whistles while he gets everything ready. Both his hands are covered in latex gloves now, like a doctor, but I can still see the gold ring under the surface. The ring. I look down; I’m still wearing mine. It feels different now than it did before, that he’s going to do this to me while wearing the ring I gave him. I’m so hard thinking about it, and then so humiliated. Viktor is just trying to take care of me because I’m sick. He doesn’t—this isn’t—

“Turn around now, Yuri-kun,” he says.

I turn and face the shower wall, spreading my palms out against the tile. Droplets of water left on the tile run together when I touch them, spilling down over my skin. I can hear my breath.

“Viktor,” I say again. I want him to get it over with. I’m not sure what’s about to happen.

Then, I feel the sudden heat of Viktor’s breath in my ear—the heat of his whole body behind mine. He must have stepped into the tub so quietly I didn’t notice. The hairs on my neck stand up and I’m shivering.

“Okay, Yuri-kun,” Viktor says, low and firm. “Just stand still against the wall… I’ll get you ready…”

Then—oh— “Oh!” His fingers are suddenly inside me. I can smell lube. He’s rubbing back and forth, rubbing and rubbing— “Viktor...”

“Patience, Yuri-kun. Just tell me if it hurts.”

I whimper. “No. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Good.” He’s still pushing his fingers into me, faster now, almost—it feels almost like he’s fucking me with his fingers— “You’ll be nice and stretched. Very good, Yuri-kun. Shh.” He leans closer, and I can feel the starchy fabric of his shirt against my back. His other hand touches the wall next to mine, bracing him, and I realize it’s the hand without the ring. So—the ring is—inside my ass?

“Oh,” I cry out, “Viktor, please—”

“Not yet, Yuri-kun, we’ve barely started,” Viktor says, and I don’t know what that means, but he pulls his hand out. Suddenly I feel so empty, so open. Exposed.

I realize I’m panting.

“Here we go,” Viktor says, and then I feel something hard, like plastic, against my ass. I squirm. Viktor puts a hand on my shoulder and gently but firmly presses me against the wall until I am still. “It will hurt more if you move,” he says. He sounds very serious, more than he ever does as a coach. “Be still.”

I try to hold still. The plastic thing—it must be the nozzle—pushes into my ass, feeling too big and too hard, and then a moment later, it stops. It feels… strange, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. I let out a breath.

Viktor strokes my back. “Very good, Yuri-kun. Now, can you get on your knees for me?”

He says it right in my ear, and my whole body feels electrified. My dick had gone a little soft while he was pushing the nozzle into me, but now I’ve got the most intense erection of my life. I feel like I can’t move. I’ve thought of Viktor saying those words to me, but not like this…

“Yuri-kun.” Viktor sounds insistent. “On your knees.”

I obey.

The bathtub feels cold under my hands and knees. My ass is up in the air, up where Viktor can see everything, and my dick is so hard that it’s brushing my thighs and bobbing up against my stomach whenever I move. This is so humiliating that I want to disappear.

“Now I’m going to fill you up, Yuri-kun,” Viktor says. “Hold it for as long as you can.”

And then I feel it pouring into me in a rush. I had no idea it would feel like this, and suddenly I panic. I’m overwhelmed. There’s just so much water entering me, filling me up, and I don’t know what to do. “Viktor, I—” I realize that there are tears in my eyes.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Viktor reaches down with a free hand—no longer gloved—and strokes my ass, the way you would a frightened animal. But he doesn’t stop. The water doesn’t stop. “It’s okay, Yuri-kun. Just take the water in you. Take it inside you. You’ll feel so much better. Don’t you want to feel good?”

I let out a sob, but I nod. It feels so big. My belly is starting to sag a bit, brushing my swollen dick. There’s so much inside me…

“Okay, that’s all. I’m going to take out the bag now, and then you’re going to hold it.” Viktor leans down toward my ear again. “Do you need help holding it, Yuri-kun?”

Afraid of how broken my voice will be if I speak, I nod. I’m sure he can see the tears in my eyes, and my dick bouncing up and down between my legs under my swollen belly. What must I look like?

“I’ll help you,” he says, and now his voice sounds so soft I can’t bear it. I hear the sound of another glove snapping on, and then Viktor slides his hand under the nozzle and pulls it out—just as he pushes his fingers back in. I cry out, and then I start moaning. It feels so good...

Viktor is rubbing again, the motion so small, so slow this time, but every in and out makes the water inside me slosh. I desperately want to touch my dick but I can’t move. “There we go,” he says. “I’ll take care of you, Yuri-kun. Don’t worry. I’ll help you hold it. And then you can feel so good.”

“Oh,” is all I can say. I put my hands over my face. He’s looking at me. I can feel him staring.

“Look how big and soft your belly is now,” he says, and I want the ground to open and swallow me up. “Look how nice and soft…”

And then—I hear him climb into the tub behind me, feel his fingers adjust—then I reaches around with his other hand and starts rubbing my belly. While he is still rubbing back and forth, fucking in and out of my ass so slowly. His hand on my stomach keeps brushing against my dick. It is torture.

“Shh, shh,” he says, “I’ll help you, Yuri-kun, I’ll help you…” And he turns his hand, wrapping his fingers around my dick.

I am groaning now, face slick with my sweat, while Viktor takes care of me. His grip is tight, just like I do to myself, working me so easily that all I can think is How many nights has he been imagining this, and then the water in my belly sloshes as he fucks into me with his other hand, and tears spill over onto my cheeks. I have never been so humiliated in my life. I could not move if he told me to.

“Yuri-kun,” Viktor says, so low I barely catch it. His grip on my dick tightens, and he works me hard. “I’m going to make you feel so good. Let go. Now, Yuri-kun.”

“Oh—” It takes me by surprise, a spike of such intense pleasure as I’ve never felt before. All the pressure building in my ass, the tight grip on Viktor’s hand around my dick, it’s all so much. “Yes, yes, oh, Viktor—”

My come is all over Viktor’s gloved hand, all over my belly and thighs. I’m shaking.

Viktor keeps his fingers going in my ass. It’s beginning to feel sore, like my ass has been used too much. “Good, Yuri-kun,” he says. “Just a little longer.”

“Don’t leave me, Viktor,” I whisper. “I’m so ashamed…”

“Almost done,” Viktor says. “Don’t think of anything.”

I don’t.

I’m not sure how long I stay there on my knees while Viktor works his fingers in and out of me. My head feels like it’s full of foam.

After a while, Viktor says, “Okay, let’s get you to the toilet.”

Without taking his fingers out, very slowly, he helps me stand up; my knees are stiff. It feels strange to have his hand still inside me as I step out of the tub. He walks me over to the toilet. I can hear the water sloshing inside me.

“Okay,” he says softly. “I’m going to leave you now.” I don’t know what he means for a second; then he takes out his fingers, very slowly.

I wobble. “Oh.”

“Here, sit.” He helps me turn and sit down. “Does it hurt?”

“A little.” I look up at him. He has a concerned expression. I turn red again. “I can do this part.”

He smiles. “Okay. I’ll let you take care of it.” He peels off his gloves into the trash, and then he kisses me on the forehead before going out of the bathroom.

There’s a moment when I think the water isn’t going to come out, and I panic. Then I breathe and try to relax, rubbing the bulge in my stomach like Viktor did. At last, my body releases. It’s not as bad as I thought.

Afterward, I step back into the bathtub and run the water for a shower.

“Better?” Viktor says, when I come out. He’s smirking. I realize I forgot to wrap myself in a towel. I’m naked, just like he was in front of me all those months ago.