Still Rainin’

Whazzmaster is now being broadcast on a pirate wireless signal from somewhere in the building. I don’t got no teevee, no phone, and no internet. But I’m living the good life by myself. Shit gets broke, I know who did it.

My first dinner in the new pad was homemade rice’n’beans (thanks wwhazz!) and curry chicken. Thank you, Trader Joe’s. I took the new rice cooker/veggie steamer for a long, slow cruise around the lake tonight. I can’t wait to get a coffee maker so’s I can sip on the sizzer while I sit at my new IKEA table. Pictures to follow.

The move went as well as moves can go. I mean, no move is ever paradise, but this one was the best that Hell has to offer. Tomorrow morning I get back to the gym, and I start my life of Less-Than-One-Hour Commutes. Anyone who wants to come over, just call me ten minutes before.

I’m back in the poker game, too. Live at the Bike rules, but I’m tired so I’m going to bed. Seeya wouldn’t wanna be ya.

7-9pm PST monday-friday… live, commercial free, streaming poker action. liveatthebike.com. by watching this show regularly for a few weeks, ANYONE could learn enough to make a living playing cards. yet they only get like 5,000 viewers, and they’ve been doing it for over a year. i guess it really is a niche market for people that understand poker, not for people that just want to play poker, because they don’t get to do anything when they watch the show. i like to have it open in the background while i’m playing, so that solves the problem. the announcers are great players, both dudes my age. it’s funny, it’s dramatic… i cried once… and there are reoccuring characters with comical mustaches. i mean, i put this show through my value engine, and it’s pure gold, yet it’s free, and no one wants it, so i’m living in a small world of confusion.

i guess they get rebroadcast on the poker network in the UK which i guess goes to a million houses… but i doubt anyone watches it there either. whenever i play live i ask everyone at the table if they’ve seen it and i haven’t met one person that has. this confuses much more than why losing players keep coming back.

but just think about if all those make money quick shows on tv were really real and everyone was just too passive to watch them and make a $23 million net worth in 6 days, 9 nights…. who knows. i haven’t slept in 30 hours. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It wasn’t a rock… it was a rock lobster, you stupid. People moved in downstairs. They are none too happy about all the kongaing.

Also, I got you a book. It’s real cool. It’s the US Army Survival Manual. I borrowed Oneil’s for like 3 years, but gave it back before I moved, and when I went to replace it, I got you one too. So try not to get lost in the desert or run out of food or bit by a snake before I next see you. YA HEARD?

Until the nineteenth century, most people in Eurpoe and the United States thought of cats primarily as tools of the devil. Though cats were permitted to live in barns to control rodents, on religious holidays their owners would often set them on fire.

did they actually yell at you about bongoing, or are you just surmising? we actually had neighbors complain to us. like, they were being annoyed horizontally through the walls. bongoing is loud science, but its mastery will reap dividends far beyond the mortal realm.

NAME CHANGE. Funny, hilarious, goddamned ridiculous story: on Friday night at ~2:30am Wisconsin time I got a text message from “Aaron Moneypenny”. It read: “Im drunk bitches ha ha”. I thought it was funny and went about my business. I talked to my mom last night and got the rest, the goddamned ridiculous revelation as it were: my brosef sent that message to everyone in his address book. My mom, my grandma, his friends, everyone. He was sheepish. My mom’s response: “I was in Chicago on a business trip and I got this and I was like, ‘Are you calling me a bitch?!'” Oh Aaron, technology is so confusing.

i don’t know if i can handle this kirby puckett business. i have been one of those psycho MN fans my whole life. cal, you wanna speak up here? i know you feel the pain… hopefully i’ll get special tickets to some kickass memorial service or something. my (great) uncle was on the original team so we usually get family perks.

$penny, check your evite man! aaron’s doing his famous corned beef, cabbage, & debauchery dinner for st patty’s day. you should come since you’ll be in madison. also, how the hell does one get ahold of eros in this town? sit outside the montemarte doorstep for three days?

Kirby Puckett is dead! Kirby Puckett! Kirby Puckett IS DEAD. Kirby Puckett up against that metrodome glass in the outfield and over that blue wall in dead center. Robbing home runs Kirby Puckett!!! NO SMOKING IN THE METRODOME! NO SMOKING! There used to be a “family section” in the Metrodome in the outfield down first base where you couldn’t drink and they’d announce it and everybody would boo. Ha. And when you left the game you’d get blown through those doors and your hat would fly. Fat little Kirby Puckett man! five nine KIRBY PUCKETT! Kirby Puckett is dead! Kirby Puckett is dead. I can’t believe it it’s horrible. Horrible. Here’s to you Kirby Puckett.

Bah… fours hours later my taxes are done. You’d think I have off shore holdings, a yacht, but no. Really I’m just dumb. One very exciting offer from Turbo Tax: you can choose to take you refund in gift card form. Say you want use 85$ of your refund to go towards Red Lobster cards, you get a $100 Red Lobster card. Lobster-itas and peel and eat shrimp for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took the str8 cash option but some deals looked pretty good (250 gets you 300 on Expedia, 85 gets you a hundo at Boarders). Man, who knew who wants to make a deal gimmicks and double your refund games could enter the somber realm of taxes. McMuffin, I’m sure, but not me.

Funny thing about that gift card thing, internal talk suggested that due to the “turn $100 into $120 of Foo Gift Cards” Intuit would overnight become the largest gift card distributor in the world. I wonder what happened with that.

so obviously the last few days the twin cities news has been the kirby tribute station…. but the promo for tonights broadcast was something like “KIRBY PUCKET! Why do we feel such a connection to him??!”… is that rude? i just sort of went… HUH?!

hi whazzers! been awhile since i rapped at ya!jesus madd what was that shit?!? (?!? = mike wirkus pffftttt mark) you’re all like up up down down left right if in array this comment bladdy blu bladdy blu. you’re as bad as jen man! listen moneypenny if you want to fix your shit you have to lift the lid and blow with sweet affection into your computer. this will free up all those megabytes and gigahertz and then you can quary every comment or do a reverse lookup one handed dunk or whatever is is you need to do to maintain this monster. speaking of this monster, i would like to take a moment to address ro. hello ro. ro… time to go gently down the stream if you know what i mean… ha! that was a joke ro! ro, i apologize for the rash calling out of you. now that i see you can share jokes about pooping i realize i have made a mistake. shall we say a “bulldog” of a mistake! jesus sorry i’m an asshole- please ro, pay no attention to belligerent cal. you can make fun of madd all you want. agreed, if he and i were strolling and he were naked i would be shocked at first, but then my thoughts would turn, as you so astutely point out, to repulsion. madd you are horribly, horribly ugly. sorry. and to top it all off ro it turns out you’re a girl -oh belligerent cal! ewaz! texas! the stars at night are big and bright! are you going to the alamo? back to you madd, i clicked on your blue baby and i wonder what it is? does it somehow run the internet? does it help? does it ever say in a computer voice “i love you father.” if it does, we need to talk. that’s about all i have for you all right now, but i’m glad i had this chance to be neighborly. in honor of fred rogers, cal out.

jesus cal… i think you fell into the deep end of a swimming pool full of tofu. so i signed up for the $10 PLO8 tourney tonight… forgot about it. open up pokerroom and we’re at the 1 hour break and i have 700 chips. oh well, wasted $10. i boom bold cal’d that shit to chip leader and now we’re at the 2 hour break at the final table with 5 left. seriously, this game is flawed, and i’m the only person that exploits it. perhaps i will be the 2 time tourney #3 champion…. play resumes.

by flawed… imagine basketball with no shot clock… now imagine one of the teams gets 2 points and spends the next 40 minutes playing keep-away. that is the “why the asshole will never lose” concept i want to write a book on. so the trick in “poker” isn’t to learn how to box out, and dribble, and shoot the 3… it’s understanding the rules and being the biggest asshole you can. HAHA, CANT SCORE WITHOUT THE BALL HOMIE! PASS!

a bag of beets says you’ll have zero defense from the fact that YOUR PAPER HAS BEEN COMPLETELY ERASED! YOU’RE TURNING IN BLANK PAGES! IT’S AS IF IT NEVER EXISTED. DID IT EVER EXIST? DID IT? CANT SCORE WITHOUT THE BALL HOMIE! PASS!

Comments are closed.

Recent Comments

maddddddddddddddd
i can’t have fun, none of you idiots can have fun BURN IT ALL DOWN.