Michea B | Author | Photographer | Artist | Activist

NO ONE OWES YOU SEX!

Due to the influx of people talking about people who have proclaimed themselves to be incels, the various views held by MGTOWs, PUAs, and others in the manosphere, I would like to state a few things and clear up some misconceptions. While this is mostly aimed as cis men, the statements and rules apply for EVERY HUMAN BEING!

First up:

No one owes you sex. I don’t care if you believe you need to ejaculate or you’ll die, that doesn’t mean someone owes you sex. If it’s really that bad, take matters into your own hand(s). This applies to cis people, trans people, enbys, and well….everyone. No one owes anyone else sex.

Now for the whole “friendzone” thing:

It doesn’t exist, stop blaming it for why you’re not getting a girlfriend or a sexual partner.

Being nice to someone =/= getting sex.

A person being polite to you =/= wanting to have sex with you.

If you’re only interested in being with someone because you want to have sex with them or to be romantically involved with them, BE UP FRONT ABOUT IT. It’s not the other person’s fault for thinking you just wanted to be their friend if you’re not up front with your motives.

On to some anatomy education!:

Vulvas do not turn into “roast beef” due to sex, they don’t get “torn up”, become floppy, or have a sudden change in the labia minora (inner lips) and labia majora (outer lips).

The vulva is what you’re thinking about when you think of the lips (labia).

The vagina is internal, if you can see someone’s vagina “hanging out”, they need to see a doctor because that’s a prolapse.

The more sex or pelvic floor exercises someone does, the “tighter” they can make their vaginal muscles.

Learn what vaginal tenting is and it’s connection with “looseness”.

The vagina doesn’t get “stretched out” or made “loose” with sex, if you knew anything about how that area worked you’d know that.

Moving on to the sexy times!:

If you want your partner to enjoy sex, pay attention to their cues and responses.

Communicate with your partner before, during, and after sex.

If they say they’re not enjoying something, or you’re not enjoying something, speak up.

Sex should be enjoyable, and communication helps ensure that with your partner.

Most women and trans men do not orgasm from penetrative stimulation alone, they’re not broken, this is how the body works. Their main center for stimulation (like the head of your dick) is the clit.

Make friends with it, you’ll thank me later for that tip.

No one is a “sex god” their first time having sex.

Everyone, no matter how much porn they watch or how many times they “practice” with masturbation, will look silly their first few to several times having sex.

Be willing to take time to explore, learn, and communicate.

Up next, some common myths being spread around:

There is no “wall” that people hit at an arbitrary age. Stop claiming that women are the ones to hit this so called “wall” while men either never do or hit it so late in life it’s moot. If you’re convinced that a person is “used up” by a certain point, you need to go back to school and learn how bodies work. Yes, muscles can get weaker with age, doesn’t mean people get used up though.

Sexual Market Value is not real, and if you’re viewing people by a perceived value in regards to sex, you’re really missing out. It’s fine to have preferences, but the people you’re “grading” are human beings, not objects or property to be assigned a value.

NEWSFLASH!

Virginity is a bullshit concept used to put “worth” on certain people and shame others.

There is no shame in being a “virgin” out of high school, or even into your 20s, 30s, and so on. Stop listening to people telling you your only worth is through sex!

Now for dealing with people turning you down:

If someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, that’s not an instant “you’re a bad person”, they just don’t want to have sex.
If you continue to harass that person or coerce them into sex…you’re not a good person.

If someone wants to be friends with you and they are of the sex/gender you are attracted to, don’t assume that time spent with them will turn into them wanting to fuck you. Stop with this “friendzone” shit and stop placing people in the “fuckzone”.

No one owes you sex!

A little side note that is very important:

If you have no desire to have sex, then don’t feel ashamed! Asexual people exist! Don’t let people tell you that you’re less of a person just because you personally don’t want to have sex or don’t have any sexual attraction to people.

Appearance, dick size, and height don’t matter so much as your actions and how you treat people. Some of the best sex I ever had was with an obese man who had a 2″ dick. The reason was he took the time to make sure I was enjoying myself as well as him. Many of you who have shown your faces are more than conventionally attractive, it’s your actions and behavior that turn you ugly and make people not want you. Feeling that you are owed sex, and that anyone who turns you down is doing it specifically to spite you, only adds to your issues. People say no to sex, people have preferences, referring to women as below human beings or as things like femoids doesn’t help your case.

But above all…

NO ONE OWES ANYONE SEX!

DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH TIME YOU SPEND WITH THEM

DOESN’T MATTER HOW “NICE” YOU ARE

ACCEPT A FUCKING NO FOR AN ANSWER AND REMEMBER THAT THE WORLD DOESN’T FUCKING OWE YOU SEX.

If you made it this far and actually want to learn about the vulva, vagina, labia, and the rest, read up on the 10 more common myths and educate yourself.

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Published by Michea B

I am a trans man who hails from southern Oregon. I work as a freelance writer and photographer, as well as work as a volunteer activist. I create whimsical clay creations and make YouTube videos on social issues.
View all posts by Michea B