Survivors' stories: Child sex abuse inquiry revives painful memories

Five victims call for recognition, justice and a national scheme to support survivors.

Instead of this Government doing the right thing, they have re-traumatised victims and survivors.

Anonymous sexual abuse survivor

As the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse begins its first public hearings in Ballarat, five victims have called for recognition, justice and a national scheme to support survivors.

During the 1960s and 1970s, a notorious paedophile ring preyed on children in the regional Victorian city of Ballarat.

Catholic priest Gerald Ridsdale, Brother Robert Best, Brother Ted Dowlan and Brother Stephen Frances Farrell were among the convicted paedophiles who operated in the area.

Beginning on Tuesday, May 19 and continuing for the next three weeks, the royal commission will hear evidence from survivors of abuse at Catholic Church institutions in Ballarat.

They will hear evidence from students, parents and other witnesses, as well as the response of five Catholic institutions to clergy abuse.

Many of the victims hope to achieve a sense of justice, but they are also calling for reform, and these five men insist the Government must act now.

To speak to someone about sexual abuse, contact the Victorian Centre Against Sexual Assault on 1800 806 292, or if you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Peter Blenkiron, 52, Ballarat

Peter Blenkiron was abused by a Christian Brother when he was 11 years old.

A student at St Patrick's Secondary School in Ballarat, he said convicted paedophile Edward Dowlan would set difficult homework and then punish him for not being able to complete it.

Dowlan made the students look the other way while he punished them with physical abuse, before comforting and then sexually abusing them.

"The worst stuff happened when I hadn't finished my homework, I was made to go back to his room," he said.

"When I reflect back on it, it makes me want to throw up, it makes me feel very damaged."

I lost everything, I lost my business, I lost relationships that were important to me, I lost property. I battled the suicide option for 12 years. I'm a broken man.

Peter Blenkiron

Mr Blenkiron said that although in earlier adulthood he was a high achiever, the trauma was a "ticking time-bomb".

He said he had seen other victims struggling with severe depression and suicide.

"I lost everything: I lost my business, I lost relationships that were important to me, I lost property. I battled the suicide option for 12 years. I'm a broken man," he said.

Victims have long had hope for the introduction of a support scheme, a model similar to TAC or Work Cover, which would provide support for things like housing, medical expenses and counselling.

That idea has been backed by churches, charities and victim support groups.

"Obviously the relationship between Pell and (Prime Minister Tony) Abbott is more important than sorting out the damage that was caused by child rape from members of the clergy, that was known about all those years by the hierarchy of the church," he said.

"I believe that the people that could make those decisions believe it's easier to do nothing and let the problems die away.

"Hitler used the gas chamber; this Government is using time to just let people die.

"The blood is on their hands."

Stephen Woods, 53, Melbourne

Stephen Woods said he was abused by three different men under the Catholic auspice while growing up in Ballarat.

Two of his older brothers were also sexually abused.

He said his first abuser was Robert Charles Best, the principal of St Alipius Primary School.

"I was 11 years old, and I was down the back in the classroom sitting on the art table and he came up and sat next to me and started putting his hand down the back of my pants," he said.

"He saw me withdraw and he started to become very violent."

Mr Woods said the sexual abuse was coupled with verbal abuse.

"He would get me to slowly strip for him while he would masturbate behind his desk. And all the while he would tell me that it was my fault, that I was bad, that I was evil," he said.

"He would then put me over his knee and then he would have a good feel of my ass and then smack me."

I didn't want to have my idea that it was my fault, because it wasn't - it was not my fault.

Stephen Woods

Robert Best was found not guilty by a court of sexually assaulting Mr Woods.

However, he has since been found guilty of crimes against more than 10 other boys and is currently serving jail time.

Mr Woods said he believed he did not receive justice through the legal system but hoped the royal commission would give him the recognition he deserved.

As he got older, he began to realise that what he had endured was wrong.

But when he began speaking out, he was not believed.

"Unfortunately when I did start telling people I realised that children don't have a voice," he said.

"A priest is a powerful member of the community and some people just place them up on such a huge pedestal and it's very hard for people to believe that religious people could actually do that sort of stuff."

The fear, that's the stuff that still comes back in nightmares, that's the stuff that haunts you.

Andrew Collins

Mr Collins said when he thought about his school years, he felt like a terrified child again.

"The fear, that's the stuff that still comes back in nightmares, that's the stuff that haunts you."

Mr Collins said two of his abusers died before he was able to seek to bring them to justice.

Unnamed, 58

One man, who did not want to be identified, said he had only recently started to get his life back on track after speaking out about abuse he encountered in the 1960s.

"It's put me in a spiral of substance abuse, not knowing who I was or where I was going, not focus on life," he said.

The 58-year-old said he hoped the royal commission would empower other survivors to talk about their abuse.

He also called for justice and reform.

"Justice for what they've done to me and not only for me - it's impacted on my children, my wife and everyone that's ever been involved in me," he said.

"Instead of this government doing the right thing, they have re-traumatised victims and survivors; this government is trying to abandon us and tell us to go back to a legal system that has totally failed us."