3 thoughts on “The Disappointing Daughter of the Narcissist’s Daughter”

You have a wonderful ability to express yourself combined with great insight Lenora. I can relate to all that you express.

I was also a way too good daughter AND hugely enabling daughter in Law until my early fifties when that role literally came close to killing me. I was in and out of surgeries for a hole in my colon which was causing toxic poison to leak into my system . In other words (forgive my candor) my lack of boundaries had LITERALLY caused a HUGE and ongoing PAIN IN MY ASS in addition to a gaping open hole top form which enabled the shit to leak through to poison me!

Both these women hated their lives and the choices they made and decided that I was good dumping ground because I desperately wanted approval and love.

I remember completing a lengthy novel by John Steinbeck once and the thought occurred to me is that ” I’d love to share the themes of the book with my Mom.” But within two seconds I had realized that not only would she not appreciate this, but she would be insulted that I was engaged in the activity of reading novels. She would have even viewed this minor accomplishment as something that SHE should have had the opportunity to do . Of course she DID have the opportunity. She had not worked but a few years in her whole adult life outside the home and there was a library a block away. Yet even this accomplished would have been viewed as something that rightly was owed to her. My Mother in law was at a very similar level of development.

Yet I can honestly say that Mothers have been my greatest earthly teachers because they have shown me what Love is by repeatedly demonstrating what Love is not .
I honestly believe that their fondest wishes would be that I myself would surrender to hate as they both had done . But I did not. I walked away from both relationships quietly and with dignity and I surrendered all all else to my Savior. And that represents the gift that I am most grateful for. The Lord enabled me to to that.

We all make our own choices after our traumas eventually. You can not excuse abuse because someone has gone through it. My mom was a narcissist. She wanted to give me a better life than hers. And she did. She didn’t have love or material things. So she chose to give me material things. I chose to give my kids unconditional love. We live and learn. It is up to us on how we come out of it in the end. Peace, hope, faith and unconditional love to all. Namaste

Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum.
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.
A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment.
Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars
here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.