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Wow, FYL for having to read that. But then again, you didn't have to. In fact, it's quite rude to read someone's journal. But because it must have been painful to read those things I'll vote FYL. I hope he turned out to be a good father :)

Day 1: It pissed on me. I hate this thing.
Day 2: It pissed on me again. How do I give it back?
Day 3: Holy fucking hell, how do I shut it up?
Day 4: She grabbed my finger. I swear she smiled at me. Oh my god, I love her more than anything!