Monday, June 21, 2010

Day One of MediCleanse

I just consumed the first shake for my MediCleanse cleanse. As I was making it for my husband (we're doing it together) earlier this morning, I was very afraid. It smelled horrible and looked vaguely like the color of baby diarrhea. I brought it to Paul and he chugged it, reporting that it was gritty and had "kind-of a bad aftertaste." I still had huge reservations, but was a little less terrified.

He left for work. I fed the dogs. I made my special tea that I'm drinking this week to help detoxify the liver. I filled up a water bottle. I put away some things in the kitchen. I switched a load of laundry. I gave my daughter a hug. ... And then, with nothing left to delay me, I made myself the shake.

Knowing that when I take my supplements, I use lots of water to swallow them, I figured I would use the shake to take my pills. That way I'll be forced to chug the thing. I put two of my pills in my mouth and put the jar to my lips and poured some of the drink in my mouth. It was so gross I couldn't even swallow it and started to gag immediately. I aimed for the sink and mostly made it all in.

By now I'm horrified and use clean, filtered water to take my supplements and get the vile stench from the shake off my lips.

I glared at the jar with the nasty in it. This, by far, was the single most disgusting thing I've ever tried to consume. And I have a naturopath who puts me on herbal tinctures all the time. I've tasted yucky.

A straw!

If I used a straw I could drink faster thereby ending my suffering sooner, and I wouldn't have to smell it, which is what caused the gag reflex, I was sure.

I found the only straw in the house at the back of the junk drawer. It was one of those bright orange Halloween straws that you can get at the dollar store for goody bags. It smelled faintly of that citrine-something that's supposed to ward off mosquitos when burned.

It worked. It was gritty and it there was a "kind-of a bad aftertaste." I took a gulp of my special tea.