Soon, all you'll need to test yourself for STDs is a computer chip, some urine, and a smartphone. For serious! You can finally the ignominy of a gonorrhea diagnosis in the privacy of your own bathroom.

The self-testing pee-readers are currently in the research phase, with millions of dollars going towards the portable devices. Once they're on the market, you'd be able to relieve yourself on the USB dongle-sized chip, plug it into your phone or computer, and voila! You'll know if it was just an itch or...

Developers hope that they can ultimately be sold for as little as a dollar, out of vending machines in nightclubs, pharmacies, supermarkets. Basically anywhere that you could have bought a condom and saved yourself the trouble.

This actually sounds like a wonderful thing! Assuming everyone's got good aim and a steady hand. But if someone's too nervous to see a doctor about it, why not give them the chance to break the news to themselves? Just so long as they eventually, you know, go see a doctor if they need to. [Guardian via BGR, Thanks Graham!]