Angie Harmon: Heart and Soul

Her intense new job is in L.A., but her family's in North Carolina. Here, how she made the hard choices that ensure her marriage is rock solid, her kids are grounded, and her values are firmly in place

Some women really know how to make an entrance. For Angie Harmon, nothing  not even a nonstop schedule filming the hot TNT series Rizzoli & Isles in Los Angeles  was going to keep her from surprising her husband, Jason Sehorn, at their North Carolina home for his 40th birthday. No, Harmon didn't drive up, ring the doorbell, and yell, "Surprise!" Instead, she crossed a patch of woods ("I didn't care if I wound up with poison ivy on my face"), sneaked through a neighbor's yard, and then wriggled through her home's doggy door to astound her entire family.

"I don't go small, that's for sure," the actress says, laughing. And, she adds, it was worth all the lost sleep and military-precision maneuvers: "When Jason saw me, his eyes got as big as basketballs, and then he gave me a big old bear hug," the 38-year-old recalls. "And my baby just held on to my leg. It was just darling.... My girls now really understand happy tears."

Tears, both happy and sad, are part of Harmon's life these days. On a sunny Saturday afternoon, the raven-haired former model has just completed a 90-hour (yes, seriously: 90) workweek. It has been 10 full days since she's seen her clan  Sehorn and daughters Finley, 7, Avery, 6, and Emery, 2  and she is fighting off a major mommy meltdown. "I'm a mess. I've lost 10 pounds since I got here," she says in her signature smoky voice, made famous on Law & Order back in the late nineties. "This is the hardest time in my life, for sure." But Harmon says she will get through it, and that her precious girls and well-tended marriage will thrive. She made a heart-wrenching choice, but for the right reason: her kids' welfare.

Tackling Her Toughest Decision

Moving the family from L.A. to Charlotte, NC, last August has obviously complicated Harmon's and Sehorn's lives colossally. There's now a discouraging 2,000-plus miles between home and the studio where Rizzoli & Isles is filmed  though the family reunites on the West Coast during summer vacation.

"It breaks my heart that I don't see my daughters every day, don't get to hug them and brush their hair," Harmon admits. Still, she set her sights on North Carolina for her girls' sake, and has never looked back. She sums up the state's special allure: "There's a church on every corner as opposed to just a Starbucks.... The people are just a little nicer  more real."

Harmon didn't like what the kids were picking up in the fast-moving, flashy Hollywood world. She was horrified to learn that daughter Avery had been hearing friends talk about "sexual things," like making out with a boy. "Things were just going too fast for her," Harmon recalls with a shudder. "And she had night terrors, which stopped the day we got to North Carolina." Also, says Harmon, her once-shy oldest daughter has become more outgoing. Even with the logistical challenges, Harmon says, "I'm happy that we moved. One day, my kids are going to say, 'Remember when we sat in the yard [in North Carolina] and fed the geese?' I'm so proud that I can give them these memories. And I'm more grounded and centered in North Carolina because it's a slower way of life. We go bike riding or go to the ice cream parlor."

Of course, the decision to relocate wouldn't have happened without serious support from Sehorn. As Harmon's career was in a lull, the couple planned the next stage of their family's life somewhat sheltered from the spotlight. They forged ahead with heading east  only to have the Rizzoli & Isles job offer crop up. Sehorn knew that the role was too good to lose and must have seen the excitement in his wife's eyes when she spoke about it. "He says, 'Baby, you wouldn't be who you are if you weren't an actress,'" Harmon explains. "He gives me the freedom to do my job, which is pretty fantastic."

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