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If being a parent has taught me anything, it’s that life will always find a way to wedge itself uncomfortably between you and your goals. That’s why I’m not making any resolutions this year. I’m simply going to try. In ya face, resolution gremlin! These are my New Year Try-To’s:

Be more assertive on the discipline front. There will be no more of this:

Me: Ok, I'm only gonna read you two more pages.Marcus: No, ten!Me: Nine. And that's that. Because I'm the dad and I said so!

Stop using lack of Tupperware as a reason to eat the last three slices of pizza.

Stop using green peppers as justification that pizza is a healthy part of this nutritious breakfast.

Not take it as a stab in the heart when my son says that the UFC is “so boring.”

Not shed a tear when my son drops the Lego Sandcrawler that I spent 10 hours building. It’s just a toy. It’s just a toy. The point is that he has fun with it. It’s just a toy. Breathe.

Stop thinking “that SO could’ve been me, dammit” when watching Beauty and the Geek.

Stop annoying d Wife by asking “what is the appeal of this show? I’d really like to know” every time she watches The Hills.