I'm Not Jealous

I have a confession to make.

I was really feeling envious of Sonya on Sunday.

I was following her Ironman progress throughout the day, including during my walk with Michael Francis.

I was huffing and puffing my way up one of the hills in our neighborhood, chastising myself. "Good Lord! You are fat, lazy, out of shape...Sonya's busting her butt swimming, biking and running for THIRTEEN hours and you can barely make it through a one hour walk. Disgusting."

I know, I know...(insert eye roll here) you've heard this one before.

No.

You haven't.

Because my attitude changed by the end of my walk. It changed because I DECIDED TO CHANGE IT.

It's true that Sonya and I could not be further apart right now in terms of fitness levels.

She is extraordinary.

I am average.

But during the past several years we've each been on personal journeys that tested us in ways we couldn't imagine. We haven't always dealt with the tests in the healthiest ways. We've made some big mistakes, and hurt ourselves and others. But we never quit. There were moments when we sat in the corner and cried...sometimes together, sometimes with others, sometimes in agonizing solitude...but we never gave up. We kept putting one foot in front of the other. We did what we had to do to get through each day. We did it by reaching deep down into our guts and DECIDING to. We did it because we were surrounded by people who loved and supported us - even when we weren't very loveable.

You've likely done the same things. It's how we get through life.

Whether you're pedaling up the steepest hill you've ever faced in your life in the middle of an Ironman or you're pushing a twenty pound baby up a moderate hill and feeling like you might pass out we want you to know that YOU CAN DO THIS. Whatever it is you're facing - you can survive it. You can survive and you will likely come out the other side and THRIVE.

I'm not envious of my friend. I admire her. She's an Ironwoman. I'm a mom. And we're exactly where we should be and where we want to be in this season of our lives.

Originally published via facebook on September 13, 2016 by Erin Kiernan