What do you think?

Hi!!Â Let me preface this by saying that I am usually a very relaxed, unaffected person. But this is bothering me so I thought I'd mention it to the experts to see what you all think :)

So this summer I've become friends with my neighbor women- who both have 4 year olds. One has a boy, the other a girl. The boy is trouble. He's very hard to watch and generally disrupts everything and is not polite. I have tried to help her out with him when I can because she is having her 2nd baby any day. He is VERY tough, though.Â

So last night her water broke and I knew she has no family and didn't make arrangements for anyone to take him. So we were all standing outside talking about her water breaking when O reached down from my arms in a hugging gesture towards him. He ran away and then out of nowhere started in saying "I hate Oliver. He's not my friend... I hate him...." He didn't really get in trouble for it. Then he came over closer to me and did a rude hand gesture to Oliver and walked away. Nobody noticed since the focus was on the impending baby. I just took Oliver in a put him to bed.Â

Well I did not offer to watch her son although there were several inferences to do so and one direct question. I know her husband is home with the boy and she's been at the hospital all night alone. I feel bad but she should have made arrangements beforehand and if her son were a little easier, I would take him no problem.

Anyway now I'm just bothered by the little boy's comments and actions. If you were me would you steer clear of him? I'm afraid his negative energy is going to affect my still loving, very affectionate toddler.Â

Am I seeming like the crazy, overprotective mom? What are your experiences dealing with your child and nasty children? It's tough!!Â

Thanks!!Â Â

Hi!!Â Let me preface this by saying that I am usually a very relaxed, unaffected person. But this is bothering me so I thought I'd mention it to the experts to see what you all think :)

So this summer I've become friends with my neighbor women- who both have 4 year olds. One has a boy, the other a girl. The boy is trouble. He's very hard to watch and generally disrupts everything and is not polite. I have tried to help her out with him when I can because she is having her 2nd baby any day. He is VERY tough, though.Â

So last night her water broke and I knew she has no family and didn't make arrangements for anyone to take him. So we were all standing outside talking about her water breaking when O reached down from my arms in a hugging gesture towards him. He ran away and then out of nowhere started in saying "I hate Oliver. He's not my friend... I hate him...." He didn't really get in trouble for it. Then he came over closer to me and did a rude hand gesture to Oliver and walked away. Nobody noticed since the focus was on the impending baby. I just took Oliver in a put him to bed.Â

Well I did not offer to watch her son although there were several inferences to do so and one direct question. I know her husband is home with the boy and she's been at the hospital all night alone. I feel bad but she should have made arrangements beforehand and if her son were a little easier, I would take him no problem.

Anyway now I'm just bothered by the little boy's comments and actions. If you were me would you steer clear of him? I'm afraid his negative energy is going to affect my still loving, very affectionate toddler.Â

Am I seeming like the crazy, overprotective mom? What are your experiences dealing with your child and nasty children? It's tough!!Â

Oh my gosh that would have hurt my feeling too if a boy would have said something like that about Tyler as well. I think I wouldn't have been able to hold back and said, (in a gentle voice of course) "Well that's not a very nice thing to say... what did Oliver do to you?" Obviously they wouldn't do anything about it seeing as that she was in labor, but maybe *just maybe* ;) they would have an idea of why you don't want to watch their little boy. One would hope at least.

It's a tough situation though. I actually had a playdate with a friend a while back, and her son was soooo mean and down right abusive to Tyler. Constantly hitting him, throwing things at him, trying to run him over etc. And of course his mom did nothing about it other than told him to "kiss it and make it better" and sometimes she would ignore it completely. Anyhow she kept going on about how she "couldn't wait to get together again and if I ever needed someone to watch T, to definitely let her know." Of course I would never leave Tyler in her care seeing as how little she did to correct her son when I was THERE, I couldn't imagine what he would do to Tyler if I wasn't, BUT I did think that if I were ever asked to watch her son, that perhaps I could at least TRY to show him that hitting, throwing things at others etc, is wrong and he would get timeouts for it and I would try to stop it before it happened as well.

Sooo that is an idea going forward, although it probably wouldn't help, either. I know not the best advice, but I have been in a similar situation so you're definitely not alone!!

As far as feeling bad that she's at the hospital alone, you're right, she/they should have figured something out ahead of time. Perhaps if she had asked you in advance you "may" have been able to do it but on no notice like that, you are not obligated by any means. It's their responsibility to arrange care for their child, not yours my dear!!

Oh my gosh that would have hurt my feeling too if a boy would have said something like that about Tyler as well. I think I wouldn't have been able to hold back and said, (in a gentle voice of course) "Well that's not a very nice thing to say... what did Oliver do to you?" Obviously they wouldn't do anything about it seeing as that she was in labor, but maybe *just maybe* ;) they would have an idea of why you don't want to watch their little boy. One would hope at least.

It's a tough situation though. I actually had a playdate with a friend a while back, and her son was soooo mean and down right abusive to Tyler. Constantly hitting him, throwing things at him, trying to run him over etc. And of course his mom did nothing about it other than told him to "kiss it and make it better" and sometimes she would ignore it completely. Anyhow she kept going on about how she "couldn't wait to get together again and if I ever needed someone to watch T, to definitely let her know." Of course I would never leave Tyler in her care seeing as how little she did to correct her son when I was THERE, I couldn't imagine what he would do to Tyler if I wasn't, BUT I did think that if I were ever asked to watch her son, that perhaps I could at least TRY to show him that hitting, throwing things at others etc, is wrong and he would get timeouts for it and I would try to stop it before it happened as well.

Sooo that is an idea going forward, although it probably wouldn't help, either. I know not the best advice, but I have been in a similar situation so you're definitely not alone!!

As far as feeling bad that she's at the hospital alone, you're right, she/they should have figured something out ahead of time. Perhaps if she had asked you in advance you "may" have been able to do it but on no notice like that, you are not obligated by any means. It's their responsibility to arrange care for their child, not yours my dear!!

Anyway she just called and told me about the delivery and clearly there are no hard feelings. I really like her.. just the kid thing is difficult. Glad to hear this probably happens all the time. We cannot protect them forever but I will as long as I can!Â

Anyway she just called and told me about the delivery and clearly there are no hard feelings. I really like her.. just the kid thing is difficult. Glad to hear this probably happens all the time. We cannot protect them forever but I will as long as I can!Â

I really don't understand why people don't discipline their children. No wonder shows like SuperNanny are a big hit. I watch that show and can't believe what people let their kids get away with! Anyway, I have a similar friend who has a son (5? maybe 6?) and a daughter who just turned 2. They let their son do anything he wants and when they ask him to stop doing something and he continues to do it, they just sit there! A mutual friend hates having them over as the problem has existed since the child was a toddler. She finally admitted to the father recently that she didn't invite them over because of Justin.

My point is that I bet we ALL have a friend who is like that and if she brings it up, tell her what happened. Why hide his bad behavior? It's too late to discipline her son but the woman should know. And I would keep my kid away from him...NEVER leave them alone. That's a lot of anger from a 4 year old and it makes me wonder where he learned that rude hand gesture.

I really don't understand why people don't discipline their children. No wonder shows like SuperNanny are a big hit. I watch that show and can't believe what people let their kids get away with! Anyway, I have a similar friend who has a son (5? maybe 6?) and a daughter who just turned 2. They let their son do anything he wants and when they ask him to stop doing something and he continues to do it, they just sit there! A mutual friend hates having them over as the problem has existed since the child was a toddler. She finally admitted to the father recently that she didn't invite them over because of Justin.

My point is that I bet we ALL have a friend who is like that and if she brings it up, tell her what happened. Why hide his bad behavior? It's too late to discipline her son but the woman should know. And I would keep my kid away from him...NEVER leave them alone. That's a lot of anger from a 4 year old and it makes me wonder where he learned that rude hand gesture.

So the neighbor boy is going through some big changes and is old enough to understand it a bit. Mom is tired, everyone is talking about the new baby coming...and possibly he thinks of Oliver as a baby and is taking it out on him? Checking what his limits are with Oliver? I feel kind of bad for the kid because it sounds like he already doesn't get the attention he needs.

But, on the other hand, when the object of the aggression is your own kid the mama bear comes out. When Z was 1st learning to walk I was walking her around a restaurant. She led me to an area where a family was having a party and paused for a minute. This little brat said "Take a picture, it will last longer." I almost smacked the little bugger!

I'm not sure of the answer, but I don't necessarily think the neighbor is a bad kid. And I def don't think you should feel obligated to watch him while she labors!

Long time no "see"!

So the neighbor boy is going through some big changes and is old enough to understand it a bit. Mom is tired, everyone is talking about the new baby coming...and possibly he thinks of Oliver as a baby and is taking it out on him? Checking what his limits are with Oliver? I feel kind of bad for the kid because it sounds like he already doesn't get the attention he needs.

But, on the other hand, when the object of the aggression is your own kid the mama bear comes out. When Z was 1st learning to walk I was walking her around a restaurant. She led me to an area where a family was having a party and paused for a minute. This little brat said "Take a picture, it will last longer." I almost smacked the little bugger!

I'm not sure of the answer, but I don't necessarily think the neighbor is a bad kid. And I def don't think you should feel obligated to watch him while she labors!

Thanks for the reply. I agree, never ever leave them alone together. Honestly I'm not even going to bring Oliver around him if I can help it. It's not like they even play together being that he is 2 yrs older. Glad to know it's just something we all face as parents.Â

Thanks for the reply. I agree, never ever leave them alone together. Honestly I'm not even going to bring Oliver around him if I can help it. It's not like they even play together being that he is 2 yrs older. Glad to know it's just something we all face as parents.Â

My MIL always says that mothers feel their children's pain- well our babes don't even know what the heck is going on and we already want to kick some a**!Â

As for the kid- I know you're right. A new addition is a lot to handle. Plus there is definitely something lacking in that household that makes him act out. I really feel bad for him. I'm just going to distance myself.

Anyway how are you and those lovely kiddos doing?! I love your siggy pics!

My MIL always says that mothers feel their children's pain- well our babes don't even know what the heck is going on and we already want to kick some a**!Â

As for the kid- I know you're right. A new addition is a lot to handle. Plus there is definitely something lacking in that household that makes him act out. I really feel bad for him. I'm just going to distance myself.

Anyway how are you and those lovely kiddos doing?! I love your siggy pics!

Awww, I haven't read all the responses and I'm sure all the ladies had fabulous thoughts but I just have to say I feel very sorry for that little boy!! He didn't know how to react to Oliver's wanting a hug??? :( I mean I guess some "strangers" we see in playgroups act a bit stand off-ish but never flat out mean. And, all the 4 year olds we know love giving Tyler big ol' hugs! I hate it when I read into things but I can't help feel sorry for that little boy, especially now that he's got a little sibling.I don't know that I would avoid them, but maybe say something to Oliver "I'm sorry so-and-so isn't in a good mood right now, I hope he didn't hurt your feelings..."Just my thoughts. I would have felt horrible, too BTW for not offering but heck we have enough on our plates, right?

Awww, I haven't read all the responses and I'm sure all the ladies had fabulous thoughts but I just have to say I feel very sorry for that little boy!! He didn't know how to react to Oliver's wanting a hug??? :( I mean I guess some "strangers" we see in playgroups act a bit stand off-ish but never flat out mean. And, all the 4 year olds we know love giving Tyler big ol' hugs! I hate it when I read into things but I can't help feel sorry for that little boy, especially now that he's got a little sibling.I don't know that I would avoid them, but maybe say something to Oliver "I'm sorry so-and-so isn't in a good mood right now, I hope he didn't hurt your feelings..."Just my thoughts. I would have felt horrible, too BTW for not offering but heck we have enough on our plates, right?

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