Posted Dec 25, 2012

Plop plop plop. The red wine sloshed into the wide mouth of her glass. Something in the back of her mind nagged that she should take better care not to bruise the wine, but several hours into the Christmas party: who would mind?
An overstuffed white ottoman sat centered between the fireplace and the Christmas tree. Placed just so to give onlookers the best view of the main attraction. Tonight the entertainment happened to be gift exchanging. Reese sat back down on the loveseat next to her Sugar Daddy, Aleck, to enjoy the show.

Jacqueline, a petite brunette, began to unwrap the box covered in little Rudolphs. The wrapping paper blocked Reese’s view, but you could see how Jackie’s eyebrows shot up. How that perfect pout turned in the shape of an oversized Cheerio. The box practically fell into the fire as she whipped out the leather clutch. Every Sugar Baby in the room knew that color well. Hermes. Clearly someone ignored the budget rule. Although in a room dominated by Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies, generosity was to be expected.

Fifteen minutes later, it was Reese’s turn to take center stage. She handed her fur coat to her Sugar Daddy and scooted over to the ottoman. Reese purred, “So, who is my Secret Santa?”. She batted her lashes suggestively and froze when she realized it was the new girl, Anne, not Aleck who had pulled her name a month ago.

Anne bounced over with a large box and a Clorox-white grin. Shock turned to excitement, as Reese thanked her for the gift and began to unwrap. After all, Anne was introduced to everyone by James—a regular attendee to their Sugar parties—as his new Sugar Baby. And James was famed for being generous. The box was wrapped in Tiffany’s blue and a black satin ribbon. Anxiety bubbled in her tummy. Remember wrapping is deceiving. Reese slowly tugged on the bow and deliberately ripped open the wrapping. Oh god…Silence.

“What did you get, honey?,” cooed Aleck.

“Show us!,” encouraged Jackie.

“Do you like?,” called overly satisfied Anne.

A big smile stretched Reese’s pretty features into a caricature. “I love it,” she lied. In fake appreciation, she narrowed those robin’s egg eyes and stretched her face again. What a terrible gift. Who gives a perfect stranger perfume?

How many of us have been subject to such torture? Did you get everything you wanted this Christmas?

California – uh oh, I’ll have to be on my best behavior then. Something tells me you’ve had a run in? Lol

California SBsays:

Jersey if you write something Guru doesnt like…. he will delete your post…

belgian SBsays:

I’m going indoor skydiving as a new years present, very happy with that, a bit too much of a sissy to try the real thing immediatly 8)
Don’t really see the horror in getting perfume by the way…unless it smelled like a urinoir. I once got a really hideous furry purse from my sister and felt obligated to wair it not to hurt her feelings. It was seriously so monstruosly ugly that it made me feel embarrased to be seen with it.

Jersey Darlingsays:

@SD Guru – No way, you use SA? I read your blog when I first dipped my toes into the sugar world. How cool!

Jersey Darlingsays:

Frank, I don’t know much about your situation, and all I know is what I’ve seen in your last few blog posts. I’m unsure why, in a sugar situation, you would stay with someone if things were not great. Sugar is supposed to taste sweet. Like in any good relationship, she should build you up and make you feel like the most amazing man in the world. It definitely sounds like you cared for her beyond sugar… or you’re just used to the marriage mentality.

I can relate to that, as I always care about the person I’m with. I can’t not care, it’s simply my nature, and that’s why I can’t do sugar with someone unless they’re someone I’m genuinely attracted to. But if you’re in the same boat, I’d just proceed with caution and be careful what dirty laundry you air. Whenever friends hear the bad, they will always advise you to leave because they care for you. Ultimately, the decision is yours.

As for feeling like an ATM machine… I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel like that. I’d hate if I ever made my daddy feel that way.

Franksays:

Ellen sugar – I am SO lucky that my past SDs response to me wanting an outfit was not “oh here we go.”

I think you are missing the point of my post. To put it into context, this sb is the one who acted in a way that showed she didn’t care about me, and when we stopped, she apologized and explained some of the reasons behind her actions. We got back together and moved on.

However I am still wary of how she treated me, and until I am more comfortable with the direction we are going I am looking for clues as to how she really feels. So if the Christmas meet is all about her wants and needs etc, I will feel more like the ATM machine. If on the other hand she still shows her concerns about me etc, and its not all about what she can get from me then that tells me something else.

Calif- I had a meet with a pot SB last year who was quite a bit younger than me. I could tell that our waitress knew the deal, and the waitress actually flirted a bit with me.

SD guru- read some of your journal, what a train wreck! Makes me feel lucky that the previous SB (who I was falling for) made up so many stupid lies, that I got myself really angry that she thought I was so stupid that I would actually believe those stupid lies. So I ended the relationship just like taking off a band aid, I ripped it off cleanly. Some times its the best way.

Yes phoneguy, we are both married, each with our own problems. And yes you can be fond of someone and be married to someone else at the same time.

California SBsays:

Guru!!! I Catch myself making observations like that too!!! I think they are married. Does she have a ring?

@EllenSugarB“Why give someone an allowance, then come here and complain about it.”

That reminds me of the Drama Queen SB I had several years ago. I woke up one day and thought, why am I spending all this money and be miserable?? That eventually led to the break up I described in “The Last Hurrah” in my blog.

@Frank“I asked her outfit? Yeah she replies, do you want me to be a nurse, french maid, or school girl.”

Mine was in a school girl outfit that she bought herself. I can only wish for more SB’s like her!

———————-

Random observation of the day… while I was in the sauna of a five star ski resort, I noticed a Russian couple in there. He’s an older gentleman, short hair, stocky, while she’s a stunning brunette, tall, slim, nice ass and boobs, a typical young Russian beauty. They spoke to each other alternately in English and Russian, he spoke pretty good English while she had a sexy accent. As I observed them (discreetly of course), I can’t help but wonder if she’s his wife, gf, sb, or companion for the day??

ContentSBsays:

Fond ^

ContentSBsays:

@PhoneGuy — How found can you become of someone who is involved elsewhere?? Isn’t fondness what all married SDs want from their SBs?? Isn’t fondness the age old dilemma of the “other woman”??? Come on now…it’s not that difficult or far fetched to become fond of someone who is “involved elsewhere.”

EllenSugarBsays:

…and yes that was silly not to have an “other” option on the survey.

EllenSugarBsays:

Phoneguy – “Isn’t she married? How fond can you get of someone who is involved elsewhere?” Good point. I think it’s possible to become very fond of someone who is involved elsewhere, BUT, as Guru told me when I was making mistakes “Don’t get emotionally involved with a married Man (Woman)” But t have a married SB…I don’t see the point in that. If there are soooooo many options and an abundance of SBs like people say, why choose a married one. Maybe she lied at the beginning…

there are other choices from what i remember when i was in the greek system. they might not be officially recognized and not-so-traditional frats, but they were still frats

Phoneguysays:

Frank,
Isn’t she married? How fond can you get of someone who is involved elsewhere?

Blog/Survey Gods,
Really, there are only 14 frats in the Greek system?! No “other” choice? No comprehensive list? Did you just google “Top 14 frats”? Your survey questions are idiotic and they are getting more so.

especially…not specially…and probably lots more typos

Transgendered Emily from Massachusettssays:

I hope I’ll find a Daddy in 2013!!!

EllenSugarBsays:

I can’t see why, generally speaking, a SBs female friend moving in would set off an alarm for a SD. Must be something specific to your situation.

I am SO lucky that my past SDs response to me wanting an outfit was not “oh here we go.” What woman DOESNT want things?! I would specially expect a SB to want things, and want you to get them for her.

Did we miss the part on the front page where it says “You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially.”

I say, if you don’t want to be asked for things, then you need to explicitly state “I have an allowance budget of x-dollars and nothing more.” Better to lay the financial framework early on instead of rolling your eyes and being resentful every time she asks for something.
.

What do you guys think 2013 will hold for us? Do you think there’s going to be more sugar dating since we’re going to be going off this fiscal cliff?

Franksays:

I wasn’t in love before, but I had grown very fond of her, and thought she felt the same. Should have set off alarm bells when she told me one of her female friends had moved in with her. Things deteriorated from there.

Mainly I want people to be happy. So…I didn’t want a grim outlook to be an early manifestation of a disappointing christmas surprise.

trust but verify….my dad has been chanting that one since i was in the womb lol

Franksays:

Wait, don’t give up on her yet, I was just trying to predict the future. Has she changed, or is she still the princess that she showed herself to be last month.

I had to cancel tonight, but in the course of rearranging our schedules, she asked me if I would buy her an outfit, I thought to myself, here we go. I asked her outfit? Yeah she replies, do you want me to be a nurse, french maid, or school girl. So maybe she is planning a Christmas gift,

Anyway, I didn’t mean to sound like I was complaining, Its been a subtext between calif and me about how much true affection there is between a sd/sb. I am going both ways, having felt real affection for my previous sb who went a little wacko and started making up outrageous lies to get more money, and my current sb, who claims she likes me, but I don’t want to fall for that again.

In my previous life, when I was dating women, they always had good friends that they complained to all the time about the terrible things I did to them. I thought that was an accepted part of the game. Since I can’t tell any of my real time friends about my sugar life, I came to you my blog friends for advice and commiseration. I humbly thank everyone for their advice.

So in my SB defense ( and I guess mine too since some of you have questioned my good judgement), since the time I have taken SB back, she has always upheld her side of the bargain. Meeting me on time with a smile on her face, helping me with my bad arm. I am hoping for the best, but on the look out for bad behavior. Hence the question about what kind of behavior would I see at Christmas.

So once again, I have not rejected all of my blog friends advice to move on, I chose to give her another chance and so far she has behaved. Believe me, bad behavior will be suitably rewarded.

So my action plan is, in Ronald Regan’s words, “Trust, but verify”

EllenSugarBsays:

…although, I disagree with “keeping her while you look for someone else.” I think if you keep a girl around you will not be as motivated to find another one. Sometimes we will keep someone around because we are just too lazy to look for someone else, then we complain about them. (silly) Better to just get rid of said girl altogether, forget about her, and replace her.

(And WHY do I know so much about keeping duds around? Because I’ve done it myself far to many times. So if I start complaining about something, thats my red flag to ‘drop it’)

Lets say you’re at a party and you’re perusing the appetizer table. You pick up a treat, take a bite, and EW it tastes gross. Then you look at it, and its moldy. Do you keep the treat to eat it just in case when you go back to the appetizer table all of the treats are gone? No! You wait until the hostess is out of sight and discreetly spit it in your napkin and toss it in the trash. Then you go back to the appetizer table, of even a different party at a different house with different appetizers, and then you pick a NEW treat that tastes good and has no mold on it. Lots of good tasty treats in the sugar bowl to choose from!

Frank, Ellen is right. If you’re happy, you’re fine. You know how this works. If she is giving it to you and you are giving it to her… at the end of the day that is all that matters.

EllenSugarBsays:

Why give someone an allowance, then come here and complain about it.

Better to quit giving the allowance and quit the complaining. To give an allowance and bitch about it?!?! … whats the point? Give something because you want to. Don’t give something if you don’t want to.

But don’t give, then turn around and complain about it- it sounds ridiculous. I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but thats my reality check for you.

If I were your SB and I knew about you complaining about whatever you were giving me, I’d cut you off and find someone else. So maybe you both should find someone else. But for heavens sake, quit complaining about a choice that you made.

EllenSugarBsays:

Frank –

I’m not going to tell you to ditch the bitch, I’m not going to tell you that you can do better, I’m not going to tell you that she isn’t worth it – the fact is clear that she is worth something to you and that is why you stayed this long.

I will challenge you to ask yourself this one question, “Is your relationship with her making you happy?”

All the bs and complaining aside – it all comes down to one question: “Are you happy.”

EllenSugarBsays:

California SB…you would take that $5k in a heartbeat so quit your whining 😉 lol

California SBsays:

Browsing profiles in Paris for the hecks of it….. this guy writes this among other things: “une relation de cuckolding avec moi..” 10K. No matter if it’s california, new york or paris… there is always a fool willing to pay 10K to be the other guy. It sounds so silly… I’ll pay you for you to go out with other guys. LOL LOL LOL works for me!!! ahaha….

I’m meeting my SD#3 tomorrow. There is just no way I’m going to dismiss a 3.5K allowance in cash plus shopping spree. Very hard to give that up. I can’t do it LOL LOL

Tinasays:

@Frank: as harsh as it sounds, I agree with Tequila. Ditch the bitch. You deserve better, and until you rid yourself of her you’re not going to feel like you can find better, or deserve it. But trust me, you do deserve so much more than what she is giving you – it doesn’t matter how hot she is, she isn’t worth keeping around for the way she brings you down.

’nuff said.

JustATequilaSDsays:

@CaliSB
Some people get cash for Christmas as well. BTW, re: your break; you probably won’t do it cold turkey…try cutting down to one sd as they dismiss themselves. In your non-sugar world take stock of the material things you would want in your life after you make the switch. Get with a CFP if needed to make a plan working toward those items you can’t live without. At 12k/month in sugar, your passive income could already have taken a nice foothold.

@Frank
” I bet a hard luck story and a request for help. Any takers?”
Is this a trick question? You already have a hard luck story dealing with this girl, and I thought your comment was the request for help? DITCH THE BITCH. You want a girl that’s going to be there for you, and you couldn’t even pay this one to be there.. And if you want a girl to spend more time with you, it helps she’s not attached to someone else. Guy to guy, it’s time for a reality check. I don’t care if you look for a new sb while you’re still with her. Or if you look for after she’s gone. Don’t care, just look, and hopefully another rabbit will nibble your carrot.(Metaphorically and kinda literally) This is the perfect time as MANY girls are looking for some instant gratification after mediocre Christmas presents.

@TGEmily
Before you actually get depressed, take the focus off sd’s for a min. Sure, tweak your profile, and your pics to put your best foot forward. Then you have to wait. Wait, not whine. I believe youre in the waiting phase, so move the focus back to yourself. Do things you like. You know how this game works. Maybe get a second job while waiting for sugar if the money is really that important. If it’s about companionship, go out, meet people, and put no expectation on them. And you’ll probably still complain too much about what you’ve lost, at first. When you get back to your awesomeness, you’ll be ready for relationships/arrangements. Just my thoughts.

Frank: You are going to get for chxmas a half ass knit scarf and a request for help in the amount of 5K….

Transgendered Emily from Massachusettssays:

I’d love to spend New Year’s with a special man. I’m gorgeous with a great set of legs and a gorgeous backside. Give me a ring or e-mail if your interested. Hopefully, that didn’t sound too desperate. After a year of being a member of Seeking Arrangement, I still haven’t found a Daddy. One stood me up in Braintree, Massachusetts around two weeks ago, and the others are just favoriting.
Contact me. I didn’t join this service for the hell of it. Good luck to everyone else here, by the way.

Transgendered Emily from Massachusettssays:

Well, this Christmas I didn’t meet a Sugar Daddy but I am still looking. If there’s a nice man in the Massachusetts area who wants to play Santa with me I am open and ready. I keep getting favorited so I know the transgendered thing isn’t putting too many men off.

Calif- Only a SB would have thought that! btw welcome back!

I will see my SB tonight. What do you think I’m going to get for Christmas? I bet a hard luck story and a request for help. Any takers?

California SBsays:

Short brake… back to the sugar bowl. Can’t live without those Benjamins in my wallet.

So, I was putting gas in my car and walked up to the cashier. There was this pretty lady paying for her gas in front of me. She takes this white envelope (can’t make this up), and grabs a 100 bill and pays for her gas. I felt like telling her hey honey, it’s OK to put sugar cash in your wallet…. tsk tsk..

Transgendered Emily from Massachusettssays:

You know, I was never afraid of Santa Claus as a child. Those girls in the picture look like they think they’re going to be killed.
Santa Claus is the pefect Sugar Daddy. I read in a book about Turkish culture that the character of Santa Claus is based on someone in Turkish folklore(I believe he was St. Nicholas) who would bring gold coins to the families of girls that were too poor to afford a dowry.
I’ve heard other stories about how the character was created, too. The Turkish one’s my favorite, though.

Transgendered Emily from Massachusettssays:

I’m so greatful that this Christmas was mostly uneventful. I’m trying to recount horrific Christmases from the past. I being in a bar in Boston for Christmas a few years ago and dealing with some jerk who I take it had a family that didn’t want him around for the holidays. He was really rude and didn’t know how to keep his a hands to himself.

I agreed it is always better to give and receive something that has thought put into it.

I love Christmas, the lights, the atmosphere and seeing the good that come out.

Stacysays:

I love perfume as a gift! Why would someone need to know me or have me choose it? I like to have a variety of fragrances available and wear different scents to fit different moods. The horror story would be hanging out at a Christmas party full of SB/SD’s – awkward!

Jersey Darlingsays:

I’ve never really been big on buying gifts for the holidays – instead, I buy them if I find something that reminds me of someone. Usually the only exception to this will be if I’m dating someone.

I didn’t get any Christmas gifts in the traditional sense this year. But I got great conversation, a fun experience, my health and my happiness. What more could a girl ask for? Besides, I suppose, Hermes bags…

flyrsays:

I was lucky, I received two awesome shirts. What made them so special as the thought and effort to find just the right colors, patterns and size. They are also very well made. She took the time to think about the small details and what styles I liked to wear. In the process she helped me to fine tune what I wear and to slightly modify what I purchase.

Christmas came early this year as we were going to be a long ways apart over the holidays. But putting on the shirts provided a constant reminder.

In a bigger picture we all have ideas, probably starting back at our second Christmas of what we “want” . Part of living life is learning to appreciate all gifts which are delivered with sincerity and without malice or stupidity (a bottle of liquor to a recovering alcoholic) . If someone has trouble with the concept perhaps they need the gift of grace.

Happy Boxing Day Everyone!

I hope everyone got something they really wanted for Christmas.

What does everyone wish for, for the New Year?

Enjoy and Kisses to you all.

Tinasays:

Ummmm, yeah, sorry, don’t get the horrible gift part. Yes, perfume is NOT really a good gift, unless you know what the person wears or they picked it out at one point, but it isn’t really a horror story worthy gift.

As for gifts, I try to make sure that I pay attention every year to what people say that they need / enjoy. I think I did pretty good this year! I also Christmas/gift shop all year round; when I find that perfect “something”, I usually purchase it then (if it’s something that won’t spoil and I have it in the budget!) and hold onto it until I have a reason to give it. Sometimes I don’t need a reason – just because gifts are SO much fun!

I have a SD and several pots,so I can and prefer to buy by myself my presents. No horrible surprises in that way.
Merry Christmas to all SB/SD! I wish you a lot of sugar!

All personalities and perspectives are welcome on the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!

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