The whole superhero cartoon/comics/Hollywood industry is built on this concept. They prey on the weak minded. Escapism is the name.

This desire to be another is a form of running away. The ever unpopular nerd, heavily addicted to role-playing games, is a perfect example of this. Imagine the character Clarke, escaping into superman costume in his head righting the wrongs.

To experience the negative effects of shrinking away from reality you don’t have to fly too far. It comes in many forms, some rather subtle, and prevents us from doing what we need to do to improve the circumstances of our real lives.

Whenever you fly into fantasy you are trying to avoid your “real self” because it poses some kind of challenge in real life, something you don’t want to face. Pretty crazy stuff. That way of attempting to negate our personal responsibility and to avoid the discomfort of existential pains or things that are beyond control.

We are ultimately responsible for all the decisions that we make and the actions that we take, but living in a fantasy world is a way of absolving ourselves of the consequences of our actions. When you escape you no longer have problems and don’t have to face realities.

Achieving Goals Vs Fantasy World

Ever wonder why New Year resolutions never pan out. Most people plan but it never comes to pass. They are masters at creating a fantasy goal but are really bad at follow through. Excess planning is another form of escapism. Most people that succeed proceed to action with little or no information. However, when a fantasist creates life goals they can’t avoid but to engage in fantasy about how, when and where they will be a year from now. Fantasy world rarely disappoints except when time passes and you don’t do anything.

Oops There Goes Gravity!

Life has a way of waking you up. Take the guy who imagines and visualizes himself being an alpha male approaching women and sweeping them off their feet. Then goes to a club and see that, not only he can’t use his fancy talk there because of the loud music but also women are so distracted they barely pay attention.

Reality hits him and withdraws and crawls back home. That’s how most fantasist operate. The drum up another fantasy and they go at it again. It could be an addiction.

Take Time Off!

What’s your favourite activity? I know mine is soccer. I gotta read the news all the time and keep up with my favourite team. I know it is fantasy. Sometimes I spend way too much time on it. I love reading about it. Again, I always was a wanna be athlete. I get to live that fantasy through others. I need to get off it.

What’s your favourite time-consuming activity? Lay off it ...for a while! See what happens in your life. See what happens when you can’t play “Call of Duty” for a week. See how much time you have and how much you can get done with all that time. A friend of mine got a degree by studying during his commute time.

Most people commute with an android and some video game. How about doing something real with that time. How about approaching one girl every time you commute, start a random conversation with one girl every time you go on that train. Many things can be done in that spare time you save by being in fantasy.

Ever Wanted To be Somebody Else?The whole superhero cartoon/comics/Hollywood industry is built on this concept. They prey on the weak minded. Escapism is the name.This desire to be another is a form of running away. The ever unpopular nerd, heavily addicted to role-playing games, is a perfect example of this. Imagine the character Clarke, escaping into superman costume in his head righting the wrongs.To experience the negative effects of shrinking away from reality you don’t have to fly too far. It comes in many forms, some rather subtle, and prevents us from doing what we need to do to improve the circumstances of our real lives.

Whenever you fly into fantasy you are trying to avoid your “real self” because it poses some kind of challenge in real life, something you don’t want to face. Pretty crazy stuff. That way of attempting to negate our personal responsibility and to avoid the discomfort of existential pains or things that are beyond control. We are ultimately responsible for all the decisions that we make and the actions that we take, but living in a fantasy world is a way of absolving ourselves of the consequences of our actions. When you escape you no longer have problems and don’t have to face realities.Achieving Goals Vs Fantasy WorldEver wonder why New Year resolutions never pan out. Most people plan but it never comes to pass. They are masters at creating a fantasy goal but are really bad at follow through. Excess planning is another form of escapism. Most people that succeed proceed to action with little or no information. However, when a fantasist creates life goals they can’t avoid but to engage in fantasy about how, when and where they will be a year from now. Fantasy world rarely disappoints except when time passes and you don’t do anything.Oops There Goes Gravity!Life has a way of waking you up. Take the guy who imagines and visualizes himself being an alpha male approaching women and sweeping them off their feet. Then goes to a club and see that, not only he can’t use his fancy talk there because of the loud music but also women are so distracted they barely pay attention. Reality hits him and withdraws and crawls back home. That’s how most fantasist operate. The drum up another fantasy and they go at it again. It could be an addiction.Take Time Off! What’s your favourite activity? I know mine is soccer. I gotta read the news all the time and keep up with my favourite team. I know it is fantasy. Sometimes I spend way too much time on it. I love reading about it. Again, I always was a wanna be athlete. I get to live that fantasy through others. I need to get off it.What’s your favourite time-consuming activity? Lay off it ...for a while! See what happens in your life. See what happens when you can’t play “Call of Duty” for a week. See how much time you have and how much you can get done with all that time. A friend of mine got a degree by studying during his commute time. Most people commute with an android and some video game. How about doing something real with that time. How about approaching one girl every time you commute, start a random conversation with one girl every time you go on that train. Many things can be done in that spare time you save by being in fantasy.

I wanted to talk about this movie because it is the first motion picture I have seen that approaches fear from the fear tech perspective. It is a movie entirely dedicated to the concept of fear, all kinds of fears. The movie is about a motivational book that seems to inspire people. You learn about the book’s ideas second hand through how it changes the lives of people in the movie. I think it has so many successful Hollywood actors in it because they identify with the ideas in the script. They believe in the movie. The movie is a “no bullshit” approach to success and motivation. What motivates people? Why do some people rise above their difficulties and others don’t?1. “There is no stopping someone who would stop at nothing”. So if you want something, you have to decide how to get it. I love the quote. Be stopples. Stop at nothing. Success is a decision. Whenever you succeed at something it is because you decided already you will win. So success it is a conscious decision. Fear overcome. At that moment you decide your fears won’t stop you. It is kind of fear tech. We accept the symptoms and we march into battle. Failure is part of it. We accept it as part of the risk, the package, the deal. This is how we empower ourselves. I remember when I first started in the game and I decided I wanted the success that those jerks in the club were having. They seem to march out of the club with the girls while the rest of chumps watched. I decided I didn’t want to be a chump anymore. I wanted to win. Stop being a spectator and become an actor. 2. Life goes by and one day you wake up and feel like your time has passed you by. So the time is now. Very few people achieve. In the movie you can see why. Most people become involved with their fears. They give power to their fears by dwelling in them. They become part of their fabric, of who they are. We want to get to know our fears, not because we want to cuddle them, because we want to get rid of them, we want to nuke them. In my bootcamp, I want my students to become aware of their fears. Last weekend I had a student who was afraid “to be arrested like Julien RSD instructor for groping a girl”, but Julien was never arrested for doing what he does. He made up a negative fantasy in his head about a hypothetical situation that never happened but he believed it. It is funny how many students I get over the years with same fears of being arrested because they approached a girl. They become invested in their fear. Needless to say, by the second night of program, they forgot this fear. I make it a point to remind them where they were the day before and see how much progress they have made in just one day. They have new fears on the second day of bootcamp. They are afraid to fail, not get what they want when they approach and so on. New fears pop up. That’s why fear technology is about fear resolution, not fear avoidance. We dwell in fear long enough so we can get rid of it.3. “Empires are built on a kiss”. Action is the magic word. There is no wrong action. Failure is just feedback. When did you start being a slave to your fears? “We get what we want by smashing through by sheer will...” Stallone’s character says. It is important to know what you are and what you are not. You need to get to know “you”. You need to know what stops you, what motivates you. Most guys want what they see in others but rarely are aware about what’s going on inside. Build your private empire. Make a wish list. Then investigate your fears around it and dedicate the next three month to break through them. I make sure my students get to approach the hottest girls in the club every night. They need to get close to the dream, the wish list and keep the dream alive. Soon they start isolating them and the dream becomes more real. They still lack the confidence to go for the kiss but so be it. They start to entertain the idea that their belief system was wrong. That approaching hot women takes the same amount of energy that approaching average looking girls. You need to break through the glass ceiling of fear.4. “I am Roger and I don’t smoke”. I love that line. It is useless to whine. In the movie, one of the characters can’t quit smoking. He loves the drama of trying to quit cigarettes and not being able to. People love the drama of being hopeless. “I can’t get girls because I don’t know how”, “I can’t get girls because I lack the skills/the confidence/the looks...” and so on. You need to stop “struggling” and decide what you want and go get it. Stop the drama of “I cannot do it”. Stop fueling the idea that are not made for success. There is no stopping somebody who would stop at nothing.5. Afraid of your own potential? Fear of Success disguised as fear of failure? In the movie the main character is afraid of public speaking, he is afraid of the limelight, literally. Think about yourself. Break it down. Break yourself down and build yourself back up. Be ashamed of where you are today and be disgusted with it and promise you will change it. You are either yesterday or you are part of today. Feel guilty and ashamed for what you were yesterday. Somehow you have to be disgusted at yourself in order to succeed. Personally, I get my motivation by thinking of all the time I have wasted in my life, letting others rule me with their opinions, hung ups and criticism. I am disgusted with all the time I spent trying to get validation from family and friends who don’t care about me. Then I decided to go after whatever I want in life. I know fear will be there waiting for me but I refuse to let it rule me. I accept it as part of the deal. What are you disgusted about in your life today? Be ashamed of it and decide to change it. Let it be a motivation to move forward. It takes more work to fail than to succeed. Think about it, everyday you have to wake up and think up reasons why you stay stuck. Moving forward is a simple idea, deciding to succeed is a simple idea that doesn’t require over thinking.