Maiden Moment #701

Remember, dear blogreaders, when I told you about the exchange I had with my friend regarding the "short, blond hair, kinda dumpy" fellow who wanted to know if I was available? I hadn't given another thought to it after that, until tonight. When I was meeting my friend and his fiancee again at the same bar for dinner. And about 2/3 of the way through dinner, my friend did the thing with his hands that people do when they don't want to point--you know, that point-with-index-finger-of-one-hand, into palm-of-other-hand.I leaned forward.Me: What's up?Friend: Remember my friend Dan who was asking about you?Me: (eyebrow cocked) Yeah? (To myself: Ohhhhhh, Lord.)Friend: He's walked by at least twice and hasn't stopped here. (This is strange because people who know my friend come up to him all the time to say hi, wherever we go.)Me: (not sure whether to be relieved or weirded out) Uh, O.K.Friend: Don't turn your head ninety degrees--he's sitting right there at the bar.Me: Great. (To myself, sarcastically: SO glad I'm sitting on the outside of the booth with the bar directly to my right.)Friend: I told him you were in a casual relationship right now [that would be the guy who stopped calling when baseball season started] and weren't looking to meet anybody.For those who are fortunate not to have experienced the "creepy crush" phenomenon, those words aren't sufficient to deter the creepy crush guy. I would've had to be sitting there with a male companion, practically slobbering over each other, for him to get the message. Look, I understand that it seems hard to believe that the other person doesn't feel that same tingly feeling--I've been there, more than once. But how one responds to it determines the creepy factor and boy, was it up there tonight. No sparks, dude. I'm sorry. Get it?The remaining third of my dinner, I felt extremely self-conscious. I also was annoyed because I couldn't turn my head to see the ballgame, which was shaping up to be a serious blowout. When my dining companions were ready to roll, my friend asked where I parked. In the back on the other side. He wisely took us ladies out the door going away from creepy crush guy so I wouldn't have to walk past him. They both offered to walk me to my car, a courtesy for which I was very grateful.But I got about halfway home and still couldn't shake the feeling I was being followed. I'm back in my hometown and I take a lot of side roads even though the main roads are pretty much a straight shot. It's primarily to save me the trouble of having to make a left turn across a lot of traffic. But the SUV behind me kept taking the same roads I did, and I got a little unnerved. So I went past the turn for my pad and figured I would wander the mile and a half down the main road towards the township building that houses police headquarters. I was about two lights away and waiting to make a left. The car I thought might be following me went straight.As I got clear of the intersection and cut up yet another side road so I could head back, I just thought to myself, I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do this much longer. It's really not good for me to be alone. But what can I do?This whole event made me think back to Thursday morning, when I was starting on my commute to work, I was doing my usual morning prayers, trying to remember everybody who had asked me to pray for them, and for the millionth time I just lapsed into the whole tired "God please let me meet my future husband soon" path--but this time it abruptly went into a different direction: "God, please prepare me to meet him. Prepare my heart to be with him." I don't know where that came from, but I remember that someone I know likes to advise us single people not to pray for a new relationship, but rather pray that we be prepared for a new relationship. So maybe, in spite of having to deal with yet another creepy crush guy, something new is happening. That kind of surprise would be very welcome. Until then, though, I might just go hide behind the curtains.

Comments

Hm, I've never had a really creepy crush - well, unless you count that guy in France who kept calling me to propose and sending me ring catalogues even though we weren't even dating...

Also, don't amazing things happen with your mood and resolve when you decide to give up and let God drive? I find that I'm most stressed/miserable when I'm focusing on what I want and why God can't just hand it over! And then when I step back, it's so PEACEFUL.

Hi I've been reading your blog for a while.Ahhh yes the creepy crush. I've had way to many. So many that one of my guy friends jokes about my "creepy stalkers". I went through this phase of "God, please no more creeps, atheists, and agnostics." Then a good friend suggested maybe there's something I'm to learn from those creeps, agnostics, and atheists.

Liz--what is it with European guys proposing to American gals? Even the Italian phrasebook my mom had when she went to Italy in 1969 had "Will you marry me?" in there--I guess so an unsuspecting tourist wouldn't accidentally smile and nod in response!

A.C.22--yay, you de-lurked! Interesting point. I don't really have a problem with agnostics and atheists, provided they don't give me flak about what I believe/practice, either. The creeps, well, if anything they've shown me whom I can count on for support/protection. I wish my ex had taken more of a stand against the one creep who continued to get in both my face AND his. . . but now I realize how much he just liked to play the victim. Whatever.

First-Thanks for commenting on my blog :-), and yes, I have had many a creepy guy crush follow me about, and it is creepy and it is sad, because I always wonder when I like a guy who does not like me, do I then become the creepy girl crush? And speaking as a single 52 year old woman (not sure of your age)who has stayed single because she will not settle, I think when the right one comes along it will be the PERFECT time :-).

Another prayer recommened to me by a friend while I was single - don't be afraid to ask for everything! Why not ask for the perfect guy for you, for whom you are also perfect? Why ask to settle for "close enough"?

I don't have a problem with them typically either but the last several have wanted to convince me to go farther than I wanted by trying to tell me my faith was wrong. I got to a point where it seemed every guy I laid eyes on was an atheist or agnostic. Oh and I'm sure you'll see it in your footprints I've been having some connection trouble so I have had to come back several times!

Hi, Annie--you're welcome! (Her art is cool, you guys.) I'm in my early thirties (yeah, break out the "old maid" pity afghan) so hopefully I've figured out how not to be goofy and annoying if I *do* have an unrequited crush--but these creeps are way outta line. Part of it is that I won't settle, but the other part is definitely that I am a late bloomer in many respects. And impatient, darn it!

WG--I think He's been "on a tear" since 2005!?!?!?

'Fly--Ha! How do we LOL that? "Iz in ur kurtinz, hidin frum kreepz"? Seriously, though--thanks. I kind of think God's already got the guy picked out for me (without infringing on my free will, of course). But I do pray about what "the one" will be like--generosity and into cool music/reading are on top of the list!

A.C.22--I see what you're getting at now. Yeah, if anything, a challenge should make your faith stronger, not tear it down or seek to compromise it. It sucks when the other person isn't too interested in the *other* types of intimacy (emotional, spiritual). Have you read Dawn Eden's "The Thrill of the Chaste" yet? Good, supportive stuff. (And don't worry about repeat visits--I'm not a big stat-checker. Visit early and often!)