When he was very little my brother invented a joke. It went like this:

“What’s the difference between a hotdog and sausage?”

He could barely contain his own mirth as he proudly delivered the punchline, “You put a hotdog in a roll!”

Kids really do say the darndest things (is that an inside joke that only I get?), especially when they’re trying to wrap their heads around the notion of creating a joke. I always assume that genuinely funny people are also tremendously intelligent. It’s a complicated and sophisticated thought process that produces true wit. I swoon for a funny man in an instant, presuming he also will engage in mind-blowing rhetoric with me (and ideally cook well and indulge my love of stationary).

When kids, with their still unfinished brains whirring madly away, attempt to invent jokes, they come out like word Picassos; not quite what they’re meant to be, yet all the more fabulous for it.

My boyfriend came across this website, Bad Kid Jokes, where a joke site moderator lists the jokes that can’t be published on the actual joke site because “they’re offensive… or they don’t make sense.”

Here are some of the more nonsensical ones, all verbatim. My boyfriend laughs as hard at these as my brother did whenever he would tell his hotdog joke (plenty).

“What is pink and hangs up your pijamas?”

“Your Mother”

“What did the toilet say to the robot?’

“I don’t know I wasn’t there!”

Boy: “I can’t wait to open this box”

Other Boy: “That’s a brick you stupid”

Boy: “Oh that’s why I can’t open it.”

“What do you get when you cross a vampire, homework and brussel sprouts?”

4 responses to ““Knock Knock”……..”

Love those jokes. I remember when my daughter was very little – maybe not even 2 years old yet – I said ‘I’m going to make fish cakes for dinner’. I was surprised when she collapsed in giggles, and carried on repeating the words ‘Fish. Cake. FISH cake. Hahahaha.FishCAKE…’ Still makes me laugh to remember how amused she was.

While driving and lost in another city, my Google-Maps-navigating 7yr old announced that the phone had run out of battery.
“This is why I paid for the paper map”, I said, “they never go flat.”
“But Mummy,” comes the reply, “they’re ALWAYS flat! Hahahahaha!”.
He did manage to navigate us back to our hotel.