RESOURCES - SINGLE AND DIVORCING PARENTS

September 2009

ABC News today reported that Lisa Snyder, a Michigan mom, received a letter from the state telling her that she is violating a law by babysitting neighborhood children in her home for a brief time each morning before the school bus picks them up.

Regulators who oversee child care, however, don't see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Snyder received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued she'd be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.

Glenn Sacks' Blog Fathers & Families featured an article authored by Robert Franklin, Esq on September 24th, 2009 that caught my eye. I frequently am contacted by fathers who are concerned about their parental rights in cases where the parents have never married. Franklin wrote about a biological father who opposed adoption of his child but the Texas court named prospective adoptive parents as "managing conservators" [in Michigan's parlance, the primary physical custodial parent]. Four years later, a Texas appellate court is sending the matter back to the trial court for a re-determination whether the biological father should have custody of his child instead of third parties.

Last week, while in court on another matter, I listened to oral argument in a case involving a father whose child has already been adopted -- a father who is hoping to overturn the adoption that had been granted because the mother failed to identify him at the time of the adoption in order to destroy his ability to have custody of the child she did not want, the child for whom she had arranged a private adoption.

Meetways is a free online resource that helps people locate a convenient halfway point between
two locations. For parents who meet halfway to exchange children, this is quite an easy tool, offering options for places to meet, using or avoiding major highways, etc.

Gina Calogero sent along this update on the $40,000 custody dispute over Dexter, a dog who was the center of a custody dispute in New Jersey. Ms. Calogero relates as follows:

"On September 23, 2009, after taking testimony in the second trial and reviewing written submissions and hearing oral argument, Judge Tomasello ruled that the couple will share the dog on a five-week rotating basis. Dexter was dropped off at the Houseman residence on Friday Sept. 25th and will be picked up five weeks later. My client Ms. Houseman is thrilled with the decision."

The Memo states that some mothers have
called what their batterer is doing "parental alienation syndrome [PAS]." PAS has fallen into disfavor among a large segment of the APA and the ABA Family Law Section, largely due to discrediting of the work of Dr. Richard Gardener, who coined the term. Thus, according to the memo, the label can be turned against a custodial parent using it.

Two articles caught my eye today. Both concern multi-tasking. As one who usually keeps 6 or 8 programs open at any given time, frustrated because my IT person can't get me more RAM, I have to wonder whether I am farther ahead or farther behind.

My friend and mentor, Dr. Wendy Harpham of Dallas, Texas, author of seven books about getting good care and living as fully as possible as a modern patient, wrote in her Blog On Healthy Survivorship "Healthy Hang-up:"

According to an article in today's Houston Chronicle,
"Driving while using a cell phone incurs a fourfold greater risk of
crashing, equivalent to driving while drunk (with a 0.08 blood-alcohol
level). For texters, the risk is eight times greater. A recent study by
the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute, which videotaped truck
drivers over 18 months, showed that texting made them 23 times more
likely to crash or narrowly avoid a crash."

While researching the issue of texting while driving, I saw this public service announcement created in the UK. Believing this is something some parents might find educational (to say the least), I decided to include it in my blog. Imagine my surprise when I was not allowed to upload until I confirmed I am at least 18. Watch it and you'll see why. Then you decide. Is this something your teenagers should see? As a parent, I'd share this with mine. What about you?

Yesterday in Salem, N.J, a judge ordered a former couple to share custody of Dexter, after the pair paid
lawyers $40,000 in their contest for custody. Fox TV reports that one “parent” isn’t happy with a
judge’s custody decision and may appeal.

Judge John Tomasello said Doreen Houseman and Eric Dare, cohabitants who lived together for 13 years but never married and broke up in 2006, must share equal custody of the dog. Dare told reporters he may appeal the decision.

Dexter was earlier declared to be the parties' joint property. Therefore, a suitable custody arrangement had to be determined. That judge said that there were three options: one or the other “parent” could get full custody or a joint visitation agreement can be decided.

Whenever the prosecuting attorney files to establish support on behalf of a child born to an unmarried mother, and medicaid has paid the expenses of the birth and confinement, the court will order that those costs should be reimbursed. This law, MCL 722.712(5) was amended effective October 1, 2004. The amendment, in an effort to promote marriage, allows for those expenses to be abated (erased) if the parents marry.