Kenneth Knepper: Toys get smaller, prices get bigger as kids grow up

Monday

Nov 30, 2009 at 12:01 AMNov 30, 2009 at 8:47 AM

After numerous Christmases with children, I learned if my wife and I tried to fill each of their gift requests, we would have needed to purchase a larger house or, more accurately, been reduced to living in a series of tents in a pasture.

Kenneth Knepper

After numerous Christmases with children, I learned if my wife and I tried to fill each of their gift requests, we would have needed to purchase a larger house or, more accurately, been reduced to living in a series of tents in a pasture.

That’s because two important events take place as a child ages.

In the first few years of life, toys are plastic and dwarf the child.

Nevertheless, the size-to-cost ratio means an overzealous parent looking for a special present can literally fill a room with brightly colored shapes for less than $50.

However, each year as a child ages, the size of toys shrink, while the costs rise proportionately.

Then, the child reaches his teen years.

At that point, toys become electronic and prices for something smaller than a money clip climb to the tuition fees at a Division I NCAA school.

This year, our youngest son – who has not quite reached his teens -- has an entire planet of Lego’s Star Wars buildings on his list.

Each one costs more per square foot than my house.

And the millions of intricate pieces will only provide our family cat hours of entertainment as she hides them beneath chairs, under beds and places we’ll never consider looking — ultimately leaving the remaining, larger pieces to look like the aftermath of a Star Wars rebel attack.

My conservative estimate is that by Jan. 3 it will join SpongeBob’s Lego pineapple home under our son’s bed.

Through the years, we’ve determined he is a toy collector.

That logic helps my wife and I put into perspective the pile of Hot Wheels that easily exceed the number of real automobiles China aims to manufacture and sell this year – 10 million.

Give or take a couple …

There’s also his entire city of characters from Star Wars, Indiana Jones, World Wrestling Entertainment and various other odds and ends from past gifting.

Sometimes, all of them meet together in adventures limited only by the imagination of his adolescent mind.

Through the summer, he and a friend even filmed one event involving SpongeBob, who tried desperately to save “Lego World” — also known as our coffee table.

A host of characters helped fight “evil guys trying to take over `Lego World’,” according to my son.

There was an appearance from a Lego NBA basketball player and Indiana Jones’s office was featured, extensively. But the voiceovers were perhaps the most interesting aspect of the film. SpongeBob apparently went through puberty during the movie because I counted at least three times when his voice changed, completely.

So, as we contemplate this year’s wish list and how it relates to our holiday budget, we’ll be reminded of all those other items, strewn through his room and beneath the bed. And we’ll ask ourselves a recurring question.

If we were to fill every wish list item, would they actually fit inside our tent?

Ken Knepper is publisher of The Newton Kansan. He can be contacted at kenneth.knepper@thekansan.com.