Friday, July 18, 2008

The Thin Red Line

I was going to start this new weekly section for Fridays today in which I will be reviewing various albums, movies and books that have in some way changed my life, but. This post needed to happen, so it will have to wait until next week. So with out further adieu...Take a breath. Exhale.

Whoa.

Another. Exhale.

Whoa.

What happened?

Nothing.

What happened?

Nothing.

You crossed the line, didn’t you?

Yes.

You can’t go back now, can you?

No.

If you could, would you?

No.

Did it feel good…to cross the line, I mean?

Yes.

And would you do it again?

Yes.

Was it dangerous?

Yes

Was it worth it?

Hell yes.

A line was drawn in the sand. So clear yet so vague. Transparent yet ever so visible. Real and yet so very imaginary. The line in the sand...the thin red line.

Thin red lines on maps mean you have crossed into a new state, maybe even a new country. In a sense they hold no significance, nothing changes when the line is crossed. Maybe a name, language or currency, but in essence nothing has changed. The sand is no different on one side than on the other. The trees grow just as tall on one side as they do the other. Nothing changes and nothing has changed.

And yet everything has changed. This is…was, rather, the point of no return. This slope was slippery and now we are sliding. Was it really unexpected? Was it planned? Did we want it? Why resist? Why deny the inevitable? I have no expectations and I have no hopes. I see no commitments and I see no sacrifices. Do you? Take my hand; I will not betray you…remember that I did not do this on my own. Crossing this line was an intentional accident, a planned failure. It was not a conspiracy, it was a co conspiracy. Again, no expectations, this I swear to you…

If you could read this, if somehow you do read this, you would know what exactly it is that I mean; it would steal the very breath from your chest, because you know…these thoughts are not mine alone. These are my thoughts, my dear, but they are also yours. We have crossed a line, I know and so do you. It is plain to see and utterly pointless to deny. We can never return, can never go back now, can we? Take my hand, are you scared? Let me tell you a secret…so…am…I.

But it feels good, doesn’t it? Makes you feel alive, right? Don’t you dare deny me! You cannot lie to me, just as I cannot lie to you. Admit it…it felt good, didn’t it? And I’d be willing to bet it still does.