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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

An Epiphany from a Former Boozer

I'm a super-sensitive person. Always have been. I cry at the drop of a hat - happy and sad times. It's annoying as hell. It's one of those things about myself that has been the hardest to deal with.

I have realized that one of the hugest reasons that I drank so much was to stop feeling so much. I feel everything very strongly. Everything. Stress, joy, insecurity, fun, happy and sad. Drinking helped to quiet down and numb all those feelings that I was constantly experiencing.

Except when it didn't. Sometimes I felt things even more strongly and reacted in a way that I wouldn't have, without the booze.

I embarrassed myself a lot.

But one of the best things about my quitting drinking is not only coping with all those strong feelings, but accepting them as a part of who I am. Without apology. Without regret. Without shame.

So now what you get is 100% me, like it or not. Take it or leave it, it is what it is.

And I must say, not only do I like myself more, but I respect myself more. A hell of a lot more.

And if you don't respect me, I don't care. For the first time in a long time, I have enough respect for myself to more than cover for those who have no respect for me.

How's that? Not to shabby for little ole' me, right?

Also, I gotta say, no more hangovers kind of really rules supreme. Those sucked.

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About Me

Lauren Swick Jordan is a stay-at-home mom to her amazing boys, TJ and
Peter, and wife to Sean (“The Dreamboat”). Since TJ was diagnosed with
autism at age 2, Lauren’s mission has been to spread autism acceptance
wherever she goes. She blogs at http://lauren-idonthaveajob.blogspot.com. She and her family live in northern Vermont.