Friday, September 14, 2012

Within myself
Down into the depths
There it lies a beast
But don't worry
It's well confined

Is it wrong if I disagree?

You'll have to scratch beneath the surface
To find the echoes of it's distant roars
Travel through the valley of the mind
And you might hear the drumming of rage
But fear not
It's prison can withstand it's rampage

What is to be expected by a loose cannon when it's actually on the loose?

No chains attached, you'll get a chain-reaction.
So let the dominoes fall

Prison is evil. It is a necessary evil

Now that it's free, there's no need for explaining why it was confined in the first place
There's nothing like seeing for yourself the aftermath of what wasn't believed before
But then it leaves another problem on the table
In the end, you had exactly what you wanted

Mere figurines of dust doomed to perish
Frail receptacles, fragile vaults
For a far more valuable soul
Than a casing with expiring date
It suffocates as soon as it puts a foot outside

As conscious beings
A faulty perception filters what barely can keep them sane
An inflated ego keeps them from falling apart
Full exposure to reality's true face would drive them mad
Living in a dark universe such as this
Could make them blind just for looking directing into the light

But experienced another kind of blindness
Started to worship their own egos
Put aside God who created them
Self-appointed themselves as their personal god
Unfit to rule themselves under a drunken ego
Waged war against each other
Soon drown in clouds of nuclear winter

What was made to make them survive
They turned into their own self-destruction
Instead of trusting God as their own guider
They trusted in their own arrogance and died for it

God gave them wings so they could fly
And they flew directly into the sun

When braced in a glance
Hearts synchronize
Both skip a beat
Anomalies occur
Time lordship is denied
Sparks ignite volatile passion between us
Reanimate my cold-dead heart

You eclipse the sun with your scintillate figure
Grants you an aura of golden wings
Sunlit filaments that caress your tender face
I bow down in awe as gazing your splendor
Angel-like sculptured untainted by sin
Prototype of beauty, untamed heroine

Compelled by magnetic urges
Our bodies collide and explode in an eruption of passion
Embraced in impetuous euphoria
We carve on each other's skin symbols of our bitter-sweet rapture
As both reach the apogee of ecstasy

Friday, July 27, 2012

Suffering, anguish, despair and frustrationThese are what killers are made of
High-Pressured Pain
Builds up till breaking point
Pyretic blood loaded with adrenaline
Bullets are spewed
Flying erratically
Sealing fates in mid-flight
Propelled by rage and fury
Bystanders fulfilling master's intent

Blasting recklessly through a crowd
Power leaking from the discharged cartridges
By the wrong side of the gun
Bound to an impetuous urge
Let chance decide who lives or dies
Bad therapy for inadequacy feelings

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Anxiety had become a part of me
Generalized anxiety disorder they say
Most times it's just psychological
Other times gets psychosomatic
Physical manifestation on spikes of mental activity

Other times it's sadness
Feeling blue
Down to deep depression
Eyes lose focus, staring at the bleak
Brain is shutting down, can't think straight
Get caught in the eye of the tornado
Head hangs low
Shoulders come down
Whole body can't resist gravity

Compulsion is it's middle name
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Not all traits for a diagnosis
But sure it plays a role in my charm
The ritualistic repetitions
Pair numbers superstition
Unwillingly behaviors
Tired of that routine
I'm pulled into that surreal dementia
A wormhole into another dimension

Monday, June 18, 2012

Thoughts dwell in my busy mindLike radio transmissions lost in spaceGibberish voices disconnected from logicStatic noise that blurs my reasoningFocused as a beam of intense lightSo bright it burns my eyesIn a pile of tongues of fire So blight it melts my sanityIn a pyre of mad laughter

Hypotheses, conjectures, suppositionsMixed in a black cauldronInbound by magical powerA stew of boiling vapors ascendingExhaling from my bodyManifestation of madnessBrain waves converted into spiritual energyRendering me insane for all to see

Ideas possess meI can see they are not mineMaybe from another departmentOf my shattered mindI am bound to their willThe only version of reality i can affordA faulty perception of real facts and solid matter

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Through the window of my appartment
I can see my worn-out face
In the thin glass weak reflection
Sprinkled by raindrops as fat
as bullets

My bleak coat was as black as the night
Stained
with the blood
Of all the women I failed to protect
Mine blood
were filled with the missing scotch
That used to be in that bottle
dripping from the table
Fallen like a chessboard king
Enough
to fuel the self-pity of a pathetic fool

In a labyrinth of
questions and dead-end streets
My mind kept playing tricks on me
Ended up indulging insane thoughts
Of betrayal and conspiracies
About things i am too stupid to comprehend

A smaller table
holds the picture of my dead wife
Along with a flame licking on a
palid candle
Which caresses her angel's sad face with the same
tenderness
On the drawer hides a pistol loaded with bullets
Pointing
at me as if bound to my guilty consciousness

I pick the cold
metal piece in the zeal of an avenging valkyrie
Venturing myself into
the concrete jungle
Could feel the heart beat of the city in my
feet
Or was it mine, now pumped with an adrenaline rush
Was
numb for so long, that i forget what meant to be alive
Only the urge
to kill had brought me the will to survive another night

I bid
farewell to each of my bullets because before the night is over
They
are going to be in the brains of those that lead to my downfall
I merge into the darkness to find the psychopath that was my friend
The last bullets has our names carved upon them and they will be delivered
Before
the night is over i can finally rest with my family

Early on
I learned her dark arts about insanity
That made me forget about innocence

I mourn those days that i never had
Mom didn't buy me toys or cars to play with
Instead she fed me her paranoias and obsessions
Young John soon is replaced by Melancholic Vincent
Less one brother to grief, rejoice... for he didn't saw what become of me

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A hundred swords impaled my heart
They left no wound in my chest
There werent red drenched in the carpet
Not a drop of blood tainted the floor
But the pain stabbed me with no mercy
The tender tissue torn apart by ache

Cold laws of irreversibility
Wrong choices made permanent
Regret as the final punishment

Beyond recall we look back
A petrified look of grief
Watch the sequential events
That led to our demise
Mourn who we were
Before the choices were made

We bemoan the loss of ourselves
The fracture in time
A one-way-looking glass
Divides the awareness of anticlimax
From the nescience of remorse

We die and live again as something else
With no chance of saying good-bye to our former-self
With no chance of warning about the errors he's about to make