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Entry 19 by Chioma Achalugo

I heard the drink seller ran mad. I wonder who did not want to see her progress and went to burn red candle on top of her foto. God forbid anyone does that to me to make me run mad, Holy Ghost Fire. That is why I chase those newspaper people who come here with their cameras and tapes. If they put me in their papers, those jealous relatives of mine will just catch me cheap.

I stopped allowing Rosco. I am so sick and weak, that the thought of anything like that makes me want to vomit. I smell things a lot now, and his armpit smells like one of those bodies thrown out of cars here after being left for days. He even started avoiding me when my belle got big. He never said a word, I will go after him when it is time.

It has been seven months now. I don’t know who drops all these clothes for me. God bless them, because those church crusade banners have become small my belle. People’s amibo became my next worry after the cloth problem was solved.

“I wonder who give mad woman belle”

That was when I was buying my Indomie and egg. God saved that woman. I couldn’t chase her . I have learned to ignore. How many people will I chase? Fools.

My next worry is where I will born this baby. There is one woman who brings me food now, good food. I think she brought the clothes too. I asked her one day

“What is your name Madam?”

She looked surprised.

“You speak English?”

I vexed and threw her food at her. She thinks because of food I will allow her think I am Mad too. Mscheew! She stopped coming. I was sorry later, I miss her food. Her name is Pastor Ireti, God please send her again.

Tomorrow I will attack my final worry-The naming ceremony. I want a big strong yellow boy. The problem is that Rosco is black like charcoal, and under all these Pancake I got from the gutter, I can’t remember if I am yellow or black again. I know these hypocrites, they will be turning their noses at me but Lagosians have long throat. When they see the big party I plan to throw, I know they will all come. All that money from the danfo, it is time for Rosco to take action. Let morning come, I will go and hold his neck and push him into his bus. He will drive me to that big market where they sell everything. I want to buy those shine-shine Lace and koinkoin shoes; I want a very big Gele too. That day will be big. Ireti will be the godmother.

Let him not answer me, I will tell the whole world that he is the Father. When he is done with that disgrace, I will take my deepest bite ever, at that thing that put this baby in me.