Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I'd Still Crush This 14 Year Old McDonald's Hamburger

NYDN – Fast food sure takes a long time to fall apart. That’s the verdict of a Utah man who discovered his 1999 McDonald’s hamburger looks exactly the same today as it did the day he bought it. David Whipple told Paramount CBS TV show “The Doctors” he initially saved the sandwich to show friends how preservatives and enzymes worked in keeping junk food looking good.

Don’t care how old this burger is. Don’t care what year your receipt says. Put this burger in front of me at 3 AM Saturday morning and I’m stuffing it down my face hole so fast it will make Ronald McDonald’s fucking head spin off. Looks just as delicious to a drunk bro as the day it was thawed out of the freezer.Fuck it, slap some 10 year old fries and 13 year old McNugs on the side too just for good measure. It’s all going on the hangover regret list in the morning anyway.

And obviously I’d eat a Whopper no matter what year, decade, century it was from. It could literally be the first Whopper ever made from 1957 and I’d pound it so hard down my throat and not even blink. The undisputed king of burgers, flame grilled perfection that’s basically ageless.