Thursday, May 21, 2015

From ‘Full Circle’ by Michael Palin

The Pacific Ocean covers one-third of the world’s surface
and around it lives one-third of the world’s population.

The spontaneity, the music and the infectious need to share
feelings is very Russian. Its what makes them great huggers, great embracers,
great celebrants of either joy or gloom. Mood-swings are part of the national
character and I know of few countries where they are so unconcealed.

……..sixty-seven per cent of Japan remains either forest or
woodland

Korean is a central Asian tongue, which has more in common
with Hungarian and Finnish than anything oriental.

Korea…. Intense commercial competitiveness (Japanese cars,
films and music are banned in Korea) and an almost manic drive to modernize in
the international way. (As of last week it became official government policy to
convert all Korea’s toilets from squat to Western style.)

….a joke which sums up the national stereotypes.

The scene is a restaurant.

‘Excuse me,’ says the waiter, ‘there is no more beef.’

The North Korean replies, ‘What’s “beef”?’

The Japanese, ‘What’s “no more”?’

And the South Korean ‘What’s “excuse me”?’

As the coach moves off some of the Japanese are already
asleep (I’ve never come across a nation which falls asleep so easily)

China …. We are treated to an official banquet tonight. The
banquet here, as in Korea and to a certain extent Japan, is a vital part of any
business relationship. Unless you can drink a lot in the company of other men
who drink a lot you are not really to be trusted.

Our host is the vice-head of the local Foreign Relations
Department, which keeps an eye on overseas guests to make sure they have
everything they want, except what you don’t want them to have.

The Chinese may tolerate bad surroundings but they won’t
tolerate bad food.

Birds are pretty rare in China – outside soup and cages.

John, who’s particularly partial to a bit of stomach, admits
that the Chinese will eat most things if they’re cooked properly..

The famous observation on Philippine history: ‘Three hundred
years in the convent, fifty years in Hollywood’ …. The Spanish took a firm hold
of the islands in 1565. The Americans bought them from the Spanish in 1898. The
Filipinos had to wait until 1946 to run their own affairs. Culture, traditions
and social attitudes reflect Europe and America. Not the East.

….Manila … a city of ten million, forty-four per cent of
whom are officially homeless.

In Java there were eight hundred and fifty people for every
square kilometer of land, in Australia, just two.

While its near neighbor Java is one of the newest, least
stable and most fertile lands in the world, Australia is one of the oldest,
driest, and the most inhospitable.

New Zealand …They [Maoris]
called the place Aotearoa – ‘Land of the Long White Cloud’ (which has been
adapted by some Maori activists to ‘Land of the Wrong White Crowd’).

As the early European settlers flourished on the rich, well-watered
grasslands, Maori numbers fell – by the end of the nineteenth century, from
over a hundred thousand to less than forty thousand. Since then they have grown
to half a million, and the Europeans to around three million

…Auckland (where almost one in three New Zealanders live)

Chile is not a densely populated country, its just that
everyone wants to live in the middle. Santiago and its surrounding heartland
are home to seventy per cent of a population of thirteen and a half million.
The capital itself has five million people……

The Chuquicamata mine …..Copper production is a hugely
wasteful process. Five hundred and fifty thousand tons of rock are extracted
every day, of which only 160,000 tons
are processed, and only one per cent will contain copper.

….I remember reading in Charles Nicholl’s fine novel, The Fruit Palace: ‘Fifteen million
people live in Mexico City and it smells as if they all farted at once’