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Why Would You Say That?

So it’s Monday again; rainy here in the South, and I was up at 5:00 a.m. unable to sleep, mainly due to another freakin’ respiratory infection and coughing that I can’t seem to shake. But I digress…

I came down the stairs this morning and turned on the coffee pot and as I’m waiting for the pot to fill just enough for me to pour my first cup, I begin my morning ritual of perusing Facebook, Twitter, etc.,just to see if I missed anything important while I was sleeping – or trying to anyway. Something I saw really made me angry and once again question the decency of people, so of course I have to use this opportunity to add my two cents worth.

Does anyone out there ever use Tumblr? I’m not a huge fan – I think it’s an “Instagram wannabe” but nevertheless, I check it out from time to time. On many of the social networks that I use, I follow quite a few anxiety/depression support groups, mainly because every once in a while I will see a quote or analogy that will put a smile on my face, or help me find some answers to whatever is going on in my life at the time. Plus, it’s a great way to help others who may be going through some of the same issues you are. What many people don’t understand – or they do and they just don’t care – is that there are real people on the other side of the comments posted. Some are even asking for help or encouragement just to get through another day.

This morning, I was scrolling through Tumblr and as usual, recommendations for followers popped up on my feed. As I’m glancing through them, I see one particular individual’s page that frightened me. The page was all black and the cover photo was something like, “Life would be so much better if I wasn’t here.” I looked at the page and it was filled with quotes about death, sadness and anger; he/she was begging strangers to give her/him a reason to live. It was heartbreaking. Those who took the time to respond were kind, encouraging and comforting – providing phone numbers to support hotlines, or sharing their own stories of times they found themselves in a dark hole but managed to pull themselves out. However, the scrolling stopped when I saw the post shown in the picture below:

WTF??!!! What an insensitive ass! Are you really so insecure that you have to attack people you don’t even know? Is your self-esteem so far in the toilet that you have to tear other people down? Don’t you realize that this individual may not have anyone they can talk to and is using this forum for support? I am so angry and disgusted with this individual right now and I feel sorry for the person that had to read this horrible rant by a dipshit who obviously has no soul. Come on people…grow up and treat people how you want to be treated. What if someone said the same things to your mother or sister or wife? Or father, or brother or husband? How would that make you feel? Is it really that difficult to be kind on-line and post comments with class?

Last year, I published a post entitled, “Did the Internet Kill Kindness & Tact for Good?” and after seeing the above, I think the lesson included in my prior post bears repeating:

For those of you that need a lesson in online etiquette, remember the following:• Do not post anything you would not want said to you• There are real people on the other end of that keyboard, so remember their feelings• If you do not agree with someone, do not respond right away. Step away and come back to it.• There is no need for name-calling. You are supposedly an adult and should know a better way to get your point across.• If you can’t do any of the above, then keep your comments to yourself.

Let me say this to the individual asking for help: DO NOT let the insensitive ramblings of one idiot who does not know you lead you to do something you – and those that love you – will regret. There are good people in the world, there is help available and life – no matter how difficult it can get – is worth living.

To the asshole who made the conscious choice to write the CRAP response that you did: You are a poor excuse for a human being. If your only joy in life comes from hurting and berating people you don’t know, I have to wonder how you treat those in your life you claim to love.

I could go on and on for hours about this, but I will stop here – mainly because I choose to be the mature one and not stoop any further to this jerk’s level. But let me leave you with one final thought: Despite what our parents told us, WORDS can hurt – sometimes more than sticks and stones. The cuts and bruises can heal, but WORDS can stay with a person forever. Remember that the next time you choose to comment.

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11 thoughts on “Why Would You Say That?”

Comments like that make me sick. It’s disgusting that people say such terrible things, especially to someone who his clearly going through a difficult time. I hope that kindness can outshine awfulness, but I can’t imagine what it would feel like to already be suicidal and have someone post a comment like that.

Suze,
I have certainly enjoyed our exchanges here and on Meetup. I always look forward to reading your posts and your perspectives on life. And I appreciate more than you know your comments and likes on my posts.
I agree with everything you’ve “ranted” about here, and the folks who have registered their personal comments. So much so that I wrote a post I intend to publish soon called, “Ten-four good buddy” in which I ask the question: Is FB becoming campground for slimy content, insults, criticism and revenge?
The gist is this: I used to like CB radio chatter, but it ultimately sank into a gutter of profanity, solicitation, anger and rebukes. I jerked it from my car. My post is about the possibility that FB is going down the same ugly road. Your post about the hateful way someone responded to a guy apparently suicidal is a great example. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
I’d like to ask you a question. Have you considered ranting without the use of profane words and phrases such as: “WTF??!!!”, “ass!”, “To the asshole who…”, and “You are a poor excuse for a human being.”? (In your own words: “There is no need for name-calling. You are supposedly an adult and should know a better way to get your point across.”).
You may want to consider how many of your own “Rules in online etiquette” you followed in your rant?
I get angry at the stupidity and sheer ignorance I read on the Internet. But God has taught me a very important principle: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,(or off my keyboard :>) ) but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. I used to write some scathing posts criticizing politicians, gays, atheists and more. I think you’d have to go back several years (before God showed me that principle) to find a critical post of mine.
I’m not judging you. No matter what you write, I’ll still read it. In the spirit of online friendship I’m simply asking you to consider your rant to this guy in light of your own online etiquette lessons; and to ask you to consider the possibility of making your points without the use of judgment and profanity.
I’m still following you and still enjoy reading your posts. By the way, I’d love to read your post, “Did the Internet Kill Kindness & Tact for Good?” Could you send me a link to it. I’d love to read it. I absolutely agree that the Internet is doing as you say.

Thank you for your comments (although I don’t know who “Suze” is and we have never conversed on Meetup, but I assume this was intended for me). In any event, I do appreciate your honesty regarding my post and I do respect your faith in God. I grew up in the church and I consider myself a spiritual person; however, I also inherited my dad’s stubbornness and belief that sitting in a pew every Sunday does not make a good Christian.
When I wrote my recent post in response to what I saw, I was angry at the individual and appalled by what he/she said. If you’ll look at my prior blog posts, you will see that the use of profanity or demeaning language is limited. I do believe that it is possible to communicate a point without profanity; however, the individual I singled out for the horrible comment does not deserve the same consideration. Anyone who wishes suicide or rape on someone they don’t even know is much different than my comment of being an asshole or a poor excuse for a human being. Just my two cents on the topic.
Again, I do appreciate our exchanges, Steven, and I don’t want this intended as a debate between right and wrong. When I write, I tend to do so from my heart and sometimes the keyboard has a mind of its own.
Thanks again, Steven and I’ve provided the link to my prior post below:

Thank you for sharing the link to your prior post. I agree. I have had similar experiences on LinkedIn. Several times I have written posts that generated vanilla comments for awhile. Then, suddenly someone takes offense or disagrees with the post and starts lambasting the writer and the commenters. Then the commenters start ridiculing each other and the post takes on a negative life of its own. I had to leave the discussion and close the post comments. We have lost the ability to debate. We have become so judgmental that we can’t stand being wrong, let alone admit it. You and I seem to hold some differing views about some things. But, as I said in my last response to your comments, I’m not judging you, nor will I. Would it be possible for you and I to continue reading each other’s stuff and comment without all the hype and judgmental attitudes we’ve both experienced on FB and LinkedIn? I’d like to think we can agree to disagree and still be blogging buddies. What do you think? I think that would be refreshing.

Absolutely Steven. My dad and I used to discuss various topics such as this all the time and we both learned a lot from each other and were able to see sides of the topic we didn’t see before. I enjoy a good discussion – it keeps my brain active- as long as respect is given to both parties’ views and the intent is not to change each other’s way of thinking.

Tina,
loved the online etiquette rules. I believe we would have a much kinder experience on FB if more folks followed them. In fact, I used them in a post I will publish tomorrow (Thursday) “Ten-four, good buddy” about FB and my former CB radio.

Your online etiquette points are great, some people can be pretty harsh when they are hiding behind a computer screen. I hope most posters have the sense to ignore their cruelty and not take it personal. Thank you for sharing!

Tina, I hope you receive this. I tried visiting your website today and got a message that it is no longer. Do you have a website now? I’d like a link if you do. I also would like to chat with you about our common disgust with the tone of posts on Facebook. I’ve had several interesting comments and think I need to pursue another post on the topic. My email is stevesaw@gmail.com