With Kristen Stewart at Sundance finding herself a new fake lesbian life partner and Rob growing a beard and packing on the pounds before he starts filming Bel Ami, the rest of the Twilight cast is heaving a sigh of relief thinking their off LTT’s radar at the present moment.

Not so fast

Today we’re going to explore what the cast members of Twilight are doing with their time off. We’re going to provide you with all the information you’ve never wanted to know about where people like Justin Chon and Michael Welch spend their days when they’re not Twilight promo-ing it up.

What fake tan?

Where’s our favorite naked girl been, Ashley Greene? Not to be outdone by Kristen Stewart into “Welcome to the Rileys,” is she currently walking Santa Monica Ave looking for some real life prostitution experience? Has she been stripping at Jumbos Clown Room but donating her earnings to a Haitian relief fund? I don’t know. Maybe. Why don’t we hop on over to WhereIsAshleyGreene
GonnaBeNakedNext.com to find out. Oh look! Her latest spread (ahem) is in Savvy Magazine which a magazine no one has heard of. Well, their 300 twitter followers have heard of them.

Will she be showing up to the Grammys on Sunday with one Mr. Jared Followhill of Kings of Leon (her New Moon premiere date)? Did she pay off the 16 year old cleaning the booths at the Hollywood Tan with naked pictures of Rob (stolen from Nikki Reed’s private collection) in order to stay under the bulbs for 45 minutes longer than the legal limit?

Ashley wears short jorts

Is she starring in a remake of that famous 80’s Nair commercial “Who wears short shots” with the new improved lyrics: “Who wears short jorts. Nail wears short jorts?”

I think so.

What about Anna Kendrick? Oh yeah, she’s been winning the hearts of Hollywood and being nominated left and right for “Best Supporting Actress”. She’s also been busy practicing the look on her face for when she loses every award she’s up for to Mo’nique. She calls it her “frownsmile.” She’ll look sad enough to show she wanted to win badly, but happy enough to prove she’s a gracious loser.

Also she’s been talking about George Clooney and Rob Pattinson EVERYWHERE. And let’s be honest, that’s not a bad gig

Dear UnintendedChoice (I used your full fake name cause I’m serious. I’m also wearing a pair of Tweed jorts),

A year ago today (trust me, I counted) we started this “secret blog” which now a year later isn’t such a secret anymore, not to the thousands of visitors we get or the hundreds of commenters who comment on every post and not even to most people in my real life now. In fact more often than not I’m now introduced to people I don’t know with “Hi X, this is Moon* she runs a “famous” Twilight blog!” Uh, well, wham, bam, thank you ma’m. Not such a secret anymore I dare say!

Remember our very first layout EVER?!

People ask me why I don’t talk more about the blogs in my real life and it would be easy to say it’s embarrassing I write a blog every day about Twilight and Rob but truthfully I can’t be embarrassed anymore about a blog that’s become part of the fandom in a real and lasting way. I can’t be embarrassed that people have met their soul mates and friends and long lost bff’s because we write about Twilight. I can’t be embarrassed that things we’ve created: words, phrases, characters, fake names have become part of the lexicon of the Twilight/Rob fandom. And I definitely can’t be embarrassed that because I write this blog I have found a new lease on life and created a deep and lasting friendship with one of the most wonderful people God ever created. You are a God send UC. Baby Jesus and Rob himself created you just for me in their plaid heaven in the sky.

May the source be with you!

Some people know a little bit of my back story that led up to creating this with you but for those who don’t I worked for an entertainment company for multiple years and worked my way up through the ranks to a position that had all the responsibility of a middle woman and none of the perks of an upper level executive. I regularly contemplated crashing my german made car into the free way underpass on the way to work every morning. Every Sunday night (or really just any day ending in Y) I would wake up with panic attacks that would leave me paralyzed in my bed. I would come home from work and go straight to bed at 7Pm until I had to get up and do it all again the next day. To say all of these things were unhealthy would be an understatement.

And then I found Twilight (cue choir of Angels) or rather it found me.

Follow the cut to read the rest and to see some special shout outs, music, and hear the story of our first post!Continue reading →