Jessica Simpson dates Quasimodo

People magazine reports that Jessica Simpson is dating John Mayer despite the scientific evidence suggesting he may, in fact, be the ugliest man on Earth.

“She’s tiptoeing back into the dating world,” a source tells People. “It’s the first stage. She’s never been happier.”

I can’t tell if this is worse than James Blunt dating Petra Nemcova. They’re both anomalies of nature, but I fear this time God has gone too far. He might as well start mating horses with rhinoceroses. Although that might actually be kind of cool because their offspring would probably be unicorns. And just cause, here’s Jessica Simpson at the release party of her new album yesterday, where she lost her voice and had to postpone a TV appearance.

Comments

you know back in the days before chestica underwent her record breaking 6,999 hours of plastic reconstruction, she was actually the brother of john mayer.. this of course explains the closeness in not only their relative appearances but also their charm and charisma.. looking at these two conjures up all the excitement of watching the freaking grass grow.. only at least watching the grass grow is a constructive utilization of time..

after praising the supreme being of kindness that limited her voiceless yesterday, it appears chestica’s plastic is more superstrongpowerful than anything else in this or any other world.. look up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane.. it’s SUPERSKANK!http://www.stingybitches.com

i must admit, i am one of the women in the united states that think john mayer is the sexiest man alive (but i don’t wear tank tops and have highlights in my hair year around) it’s strange, he doesn’t photograph well… and obviously he has a thing for chesty women (ie jennifer love hewitt) and that it doesn’t matter if they used their brains to up their cup size…. because he isn’t dating jessie baylin (www.myspace.com/jessiebaylin) i wondered why for a while.. she is pretty, smart and talented… but then i realized why……

She’s look like a white version of one of those Williams’ tennis beasts. The dress that doesn’t fit, the mouth of an ape, the thighs of a thundercat and the head that just isn’t proportional to the rest of the thing.

Nah, there’s no way someone as dumb and vacuous as Jess would date this ugly dude. To be fair, the media have linked this girl with every man she’s been within a mile off post-Nick. I’ll believe it when I see the MTV series “Joe Simpson’s Whoring Out his Daughters Again Part 453637″

What the fuck is that gay-assed over-the-shoulder open-mouthed annoying-as-fuck pose in the last picture? What the fuck? Is she some kinda WWII pin-up? God that is so fucking annoying and gay I hate it!