The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 5-year-old daughter — is bringing her talents to TooFab.

Each week, “Nori” will be recapping new episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and giving us HER take on all the family drama.

(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)

In our Season 15 opener, there was major drama between Mommy and Auntie Kourt over our Christmas card photo shoot. Since DASH closed, Auntie Kourt doesn’t exactly work, yet the family is expected to constantly accommodate to her oh-so-hectic schedule of making gluten-free cookies and reading the Disick kids bedtime stories.

Elsewhere, Scott was feeling guilty for moving on with new girlfriend Sofia Richie. One would think he would be feeling guilty because Sofia is one of Mason’s classmates, but he seems to be quite okay with that. The family spent some time speculating if he and Auntie Kourt would get back together one day, but Scott seemed unsure. But both Scott and Auntie Kourt seem to have a severe allergic reaction to work, so they might find their way back to each other after all.

Later on, we revisited the Christmas card photo shoot conversation, and it’s clear that Auntie Kourt is not going to budge on wanting the shoot from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., despite Mommy and myself having important business meetings during those times. Her unwillingness to be flexible really triggered Mommy. There was a lot of yelling, and at one point, Mommy said that Auntie Kourt doesn’t need to be in Christmas card because she’s “the least exciting to look at.” I totally disagree. Watch Kendall do a runway show, and then tell me who’s the least exciting to look at.

Auntie Kourt’s feelings were hurt and she cried. She called our family disgusting and said if she had enough money, she wouldn’t do the show and just be a stay-at-home mom. Ironically, when Auntie Kourt’s cashing her check, receiving free couture clothes or sitting front row at Paris Fashion Week, our family isn’t disgusting. But ask her to shoot a Christmas card from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. and she can’t stomach us.

We ended up changing the schedule of the photo shoot to work around Reign’s bath time because it was so important to Auntie Kourt. Nevermind all the meetings I had to cancel — I needed to pick out fabrics for Kid’s Supply, but nope, let’s make sure Reign gets his bubble bath at 6 p.m. sharp. You would think I would have been the one with the attitude at the shoot, but Auntie Kourt was still salty.

Chi’s baby shower turned out beautiful. To be honest, I really threw the shower for myself. I needed something to get excited about. I refused to participate in Saint’s shower, so this was a treat for me. The shower was during the Disick kids’ gluten-free dinnertime, so I knew Auntie Kourt would be a no-show.

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