Tuesday Quick Hits

Paris Hilton was attacked by her pet monkey. I’m not going to make a joke, I just want you to read that sentence over and over and over again.

Not niiiiiiiiiiice. The Kazkh government is threatening to take Sasha Baron Cohen, a.k.a. Borat to court for making fun of thier country. Once they establish a system of government and improve transport he’ll be in so much trouble.

Ozzy is terrified that he’s going to catch the bird flu. From this point out he’s limiting his bat-biting incidents to once-a-week as a cautionary measure.