Homeboys in da Hoodhttps://homeboys.wordpress.com
For when shit's goin' down IRL.Thu, 14 Dec 2017 00:41:38 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://secure.gravatar.com/blavatar/fe0ddc095664b726ddf35a67c3237859?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.wp.com%2Fi%2Fbuttonw-com.pngHomeboys in da Hoodhttps://homeboys.wordpress.com
Back to School. Sorta.https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/back-to-school-sorta/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/back-to-school-sorta/#commentsWed, 15 Aug 2012 18:22:43 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=285]]>So y’all know we’re unschoolers, right? To me, the most important aspect of being an unschooler is following the learner’s lead and needs. Radical unschoolers disagree and insist that no workbooks or structure or expectations should be placed on a child, but I don’t do dogma — I do what works for my family. And yes, I will continue to call us unschoolers, even as I have now begun to use traditional resources for the boys.

Noah is one subject away from meeting my graduation standards: algebra. He argued vehemently against this, but I figured if the Commonwealth of Virginia holds it as a minimal requirement for its special ed students, he should have no problems with it. Weird hangup I’ve got, I know, but there you have it. In the meantime, Noah convinced me that perhaps he doesn’t need a completealgebra course for Real Life. And so I have conceded a bit and am putting together an algebra/consumer math hybrid for him. I’m madly learning about music royalties and business math in preparation for teaching him. Someone, shoot me. The joys of home education!

At least I found a pretty good algebra text that incorporates a lot of real-world application. Wish me luck. The most challenging aspect of this, actually, is not the math itself but rather the consistency required of me in sitting down with him to do the work. I’ve become dangerously laid-back.

Aengus, OTOH, has reached an age and stage in which he is craving a bit more structure. Not sure if he knows that yet, but Mom can tell. So we had our “first day of school” here in the ‘Hood yesterday.For new visitors: all you need to know is that Aengus, now eleven, is completely unschooled, having learned pretty much everything he knows from playing games. We began a structured reading program last year when he became distressed that he did not yet know how to read. This is very, very common among unschoolers, and I had utter faith in veterans’ testimonies that unschooled kids pick up reading very easily on their own, but at a much later age than schooled children. I was fine with that; Aengus was not. So he has a little experience with workbooks, but not much.

So we sat down at the dining room table (WTF? All these years and I stillequate structured learning with sitting at a desk. Must work on that.) and proceeded to “do school.” For now, this includes just his reading, a little handwriting practice, and math. But the math is new and exciting: geometry! Purists will tell you that unschoolers get geometry through living life, just as they get everything else. And they do, eventually.

But Aengus wants to feel like he’s being taught something, so I’m using a workbook that Noah once used and which I love for its real world relevance. We had fun working through the first pages together, and the map they used for teaching types of lines gave us the opportunity to get out the globe and run off on a geography tangent.

I somewhat reluctantly accompanied my friend to see her favorite band, Kasabian, when they came to D.C. I was reluctant only because I was so very unfamiliar with their music. What little I’d heard was a bit too . . . ethereal for my taste. But I love this friend dearly, and no evening out with her is ever bad, so of course I was on board.

Serge, just being Serge.

THEY WERE FUGGING AMAZING.

We had a really, really good time, and not just because the show was fabulous and my friend was reduced to little-girl squeals of delight and she got to meet members of the band. No, the best part for me is what I always experience when this friend and I get together: a return to myself.

As mothers, our world often becomes our children. That is as it should be, as far as I’m concerned, (though that’s not a universally-held belief). I love being a mother almost as much as I love my children themselves, and I would not change my status as full-time mom unless I had no other choice.

But the fact remains that we are not only mothers: we are still women; still citizens; still wives and volunteers and professionals and writers and neighbors and learners and many, many other things as well. It is easy to get so wrapped up in our children’s lives and caretaking that we — I forget about the rest of me. Worse, I often remember the real me but relegate her to lowest woman on the totem pole.

Going to these clubs and concerts with my friend makes me not just honor those parts of me that are so often shunted aside to make way for parenting; it makes me feel as though all my parts are whole again.

The weekend after the Kasabian concert, Noah and I attended the annual conference for the Organization of Virginia Homeschoolers. I am the volunteer coordinator, and I “coordinated” Noah into helping.

We had a good time at the conference, though I didn’t get much out of it as a homeschooler. I currently have an overwhelming been-there/done-that sensation regarding the topics usually discussed at these things. I love home education and I love the camaraderie of chatting with other homeschooling vets. But I don’t learn many new things anymore, nor do I need to page through the curriculum that’s on sale.

What I *do* need is the occasional reminder of the awesome people who have been working working working — while raising and homeschooling their own families! — to preserve our freedoms here in Virginia.

And THAT was really amazing.

After the conference, Noah and I had an afternoon to play in Richmond. We took the advice of several Facebook friends and explored Carytown, a shopping district in old town. Holy cow, what a great place! Vintage shops, hipster clothing shops, record stores, video game stores with vintage games, sushi bars, coffee shops, and a really fun Japanese market.

He still buys records.

So. Awesome.

We also hit up a big mall for a bit, though they had pretty much everything every fucking mall in America has. This one also had a shop, though, that sold Japanese movies — including porn, Noah was amused to learn — and had a few oldschool arcade games in the back. Which of course we played. We got a little 2P Mario action going.

Noah's turn. He did not do as well as he would have you believe.

Confession: I had never played Mario Brothers before. We had an Atari when I was a teen, and when it died, so did our video gaming. No SNES for us!

A few days after our return from Richmond, Noah got the call: he got a jay-oh-bee! Best part: it’s right down the road, so he won’t be wasting money on gas. Worst part: band practice, studying, and dating have been difficult to fit into the new schedule. I’m giving him another week to adjust, then his responsibilities will have to kick back in. But that paycheck will undoubtedly be good motivation.

Later that week . . .

I was out grocery shopping, when I received an urgent-sounding text from my dad: “CALL ME.” I immediately thought my mom had a heart attack and called Dad. No answer. Called my mom. No answer. It was while I was dialing Dad’s office that he returned my call, sounding perfectly normal. Okaaaay. . . .

He asked me some weird questions; not just where was I and what was I doing, but how long til I’d be back and how long does it take to get home from the store. It turns out, he was parked in my driveway. My dad, who lives more than 200 miles away and very rarely comes down for a visit was SITTING IN MY FUGGING DRIVEWAY.

What the what?!

I rushed home, of course, and we had a lovely time chatting as I put the groceries away. He had surprised Noah at work while he was waiting for me to get home. I wish I could have seen Noah’s face. XD Dad had apparently come to bring us the kids’ Easter baskets from him and my mom. Think about that: he drove four hours to “drop off” Easter baskets and “set a bit,” before driving four hours back home.

They’re so effing sweet, aren’t they? And then he proceeded to take us out for dinner!

Such a fabulous surprise. Would have been better a day later, when my house would have been CLEAN, but whatever. The messiness of my house surprises no one.

This past weekend was Easter. As atheists, we of course don’t celebrate or honor the religious aspect of the holiday. But my husband and I were raised in Christian homes and, therefore, we follow many Christian traditions. While the kids were young, we did the whole Easter bunny thing, complete with baskets and eggs and all that. But last year, we skipped it all. Completely. We did absolutely nothing different from any other day of the year. I had discovered Zombie Jesus Day only the day before, so I hadn’t prepared anything fun, and we just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to do any of the other “little kid” stuff.

Bacon lip balm, bacon drink flavoring, bacon gum, . . .

But THIS year . . .

We didn’t go nuts — we’re a pretty low-key family, even at holidays. But I made the traditional Easter ham and fixin’s for dinner and we gave the boys baskets. Noah’s had a lot of treats from the Japanese market and some cash; Aengus’s had lots of bacon-flavored goodies I found in Carytown and the t-shirt he’d been eyeballing for months. Both had Zombie Bars: green chocolate bars with rice krispies.

We didn’t paint eggs, but after dinner that night we zombified bunnies.

This totally counts as art class!

I found some broken chocolate bunnies on clearance and bought some Candy Melt at the craft store. All we had to do was melt the chocolate, then paint on rotting flesh and exposed guts.

Such fun! I think a new tradition has been born.

Aengus was quite serious with his work, and focused on his bunnies for several hours.

Noah and Shelby, on the other hand . . .Well, what can you expect when you give two teenagers in love some paintable chocolate?

So mature. ;-p

]]>https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/springtime-in-the-valley-4/feed/2homeboysSergePlan 9 MusicMario BrosAengus's BasketAdesas BunnyA Easter 12N and S Easter 12March!https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/march/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/march/#commentsTue, 13 Mar 2012 18:05:57 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=232]]>What the hell happened to winter??? It’s March already, and we had only two snowfalls this year — one was before Halloween, which is just crazy. It seems like it’s been spring for ages already.

At any rate, my mom visited us last weekend, which was wonderful. She let me play with her new toy, and I now have a serious case of iPad 2 envy.

We all played mini golf together, which was an absolute blast, and we went out to eat at the Wood Grill Buffet.

Let me tell you: if you ever need to feel better about yourself, head to a buffet. Holy shit.

We also tried shopping in downtown Harrisonburg, where “Restaurant Week” was just beginning. Turns out that the only places open in downtown Harrisonburg on a Sunday are the restaurants.

And they wonder why our economy is flopping like a fish on a river bank.

But wait! One other place was open: the art gallery/store. It was really quite nice to look at locally-created sculptures, jewelry, paintings, and wood carvings. I love that Noah enjoys such things (and wish there were more galleries around here), and it was nice to have an opportunity to explain art to Aengus.

I miss having art in my life. I miss a lot of things that I put away in exchange for parenthood. I’m not entirely sure why I would do such a thing. My children may not share my passion for, say, architecture, but that’s no reason to live a life devoid of these pleasures. And as it turns out, the boys actually enjoy art and architecture quite a lot.

This week: Friday night was family night at the shooting range. ::sigh:: We are coming dangerously close to belonging here in Asscrack. Let the record show, though: my target had the tightest grouping in the family — and it was my first time!

(No pictures of my awesomeness, of course. No one ever takes my picture. I hope they regret it one day, motherfuckers. That’s okay, I don’t mind.)

I didn’t see much of the family on Saturday, as I was working in the morning and enjoyed some time with friends in the afternoon. But we did eat blackberry pie and watch Hugo together that night, which was . . . not as good as I was expecting. On both counts.

AND THEN.
I found a this on the clearance rack at the store yesterday.

Why would I buy a broken bunny, you ask? Well for starters, it was only two dollars. That chocolate’s worth at least that much, in any form. But the real reason is because I have plans. Easter plans. Plans that require a few supplies from the craft store and a mangled chocolate bunny.

When I told Aengus my idea, he showed the kind of excitement for creativity I haven’t seen from him in . . . Well, ever.

Stay tuned.

]]>https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/march/feed/1homeboys20120312-233735.jpg20120312-231058.jpg20120312-231257.jpg20120312-231645.jpgBeach Bound!https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/03/12/beach-bound/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/03/12/beach-bound/#respondTue, 13 Mar 2012 04:17:20 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=215]]>After several years of Aengus begging for a beach trip, we finally made it. It was only for a weekend, but still — we had a blast!

Sunshine! On our skin! Ack!

Our hotel was pretty nice, for starters: oceanfront, kitchenette, 2 queen beds in a separate bedroom, plus a sofabed for Aengus. And a balcony, for Jason and his filthy habit. (X_X) Both an indoor and an outdoor pool, pool bar, free breakfast buffet, and right on the boardwalk. Very nice.

Noah and Shelby were able to walk the Strip and buy themselves junk food and hang out on the beach at will, which I think they rather enjoyed. But they also chose to stay with the rest of the family much of the time, which was nice.

Aengus absolutely LOVED swimming in the ocean and digging in the sand. Mostly, he loved being crashed around by the waves — which scared the complete shit out of me! Oh, ha ha, the all-powerful ocean is tumbling you around like a fly in a toilet bowl. What fun. {SMH} I was a basket case the whole time, and even more so when a man nearly drowned nearby.

Edit:Did I really never finish or publish this? What the hell is wrong with me? I have no idea what else I’d planned to say about the trip, sorry. But we had a lot fun! This year’s trip will be to NYC, in honor of Noah’s 18th birthday. SOB.

]]>https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2012/03/12/beach-bound/feed/0homeboysN and S at beach20120313-001404.jpgSummer Round-Uphttps://homeboys.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/summer-round-up/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/summer-round-up/#commentsThu, 01 Sep 2011 17:13:55 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=181]]>I can’t believe summer is almost over already. And what have we done with our time?

Aengus and his cousin, protecting the campsite.

Aengus experimented with Mentos and Diet Coke; played Portal 2, Geometry Wars, Minecraft, GMod, and the new Nazi Zombies map; and got into watching Dr. Who, My Wife and Kids, George Lopez, Top Shot, and the BBC’s Sherlock. He got a few swimming lessons from his dad, had many sleepovers, jumped on our new (to us) trampoline, and put some time in on the treadmill. He went camping with his dad, his uncle, and his cousin. He helped Jason fix our lawnmower and build the playing field for his Lego team’s robot. Oh yeah, and he joined a FIRST Lego League team.

Noah spent some time with his friends on the XBox with Portal 2, Catherine, and several other games. He also got in on the lawnmower lesson, which morphed into a car maintenance lesson. He and I continued working on learning Japanese, plus he started reviewing pre-algebra concepts and US history in the run-up to this fall’s studies. But much of his summer was spent at his friends’ house, practicing for several gigs . . . including the local Battle of the Bands, which they won! The hands-down highlight of his summer was their prize: six solid hours in a REALLY nice recording studio with a professional sound engineer. He was positively beaming the whole time.

Shelby and Noah gettin’ their Amish on at Roots.

Together, we visited my family in Pennsylvania, which we always love. Shelby came with us again, and we always love that, too. We went to Roots, a big-ass farmers market, went swimming at their enormous community center, walked their gigantic mall, and checked out That Fish Place, a huge pet store.

Why is everything in PA so big?!?

The highlight of the week (for Noah and Shelby, and I think for Aengus, but definitely for me) was seeing the final Harry Potter movie. We were able to see it in the theater where Noah and I watched the very first movie on opening night. This time, though, they sold butterbeer slushies. With alcohol.

Jason and Aengus at the handgun range.

We recently went shooting in West Virginia, which was beautiful but WAY the fuck out there. I would die of isolation in West Virginia, but it might be nice to stay for a few days in a cabin in the woods.

Noah being goofy, as usual.

Going forward, I’m making a concerted effort to blog with real regularity. I HAVE to, for my own sake (I forget everything!) as much as for the boys (who might need such records one day) and their grandparents (who miss the closeness they had with the boys when we lived nearby).

We’ve spent the last few weeks establishing the new routine we need to accomplish all of our goals. Noah’s goals include finishing my requirements for graduation, furthering his Japanese studies, taking some web design classes, getting a job, getting a drivers license, and becoming truly capable of independence.

Aengus is working diligently toward reading independence, of course, because he desperately wants a laptop all his own. We are not above bribery. He will also continue working on his math skills, learn some world history, do lots of science experiments, and participate in his FIRST Lego League team. Oh, and he wants to learn to cook, as well.

None of which is all that ambitious for most families these days, of course. But we have been savoring the quiet life for a long time now; I’m not sure I’ll be able to sustain the energy required to do it all for nine months. Wish us luck!

]]>https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/summer-round-up/feed/3homeboysCampingThe SoundRoots!HP7.2Aengus ShootingNoah ShootingGetting My Head Back in the Gamehttps://homeboys.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/head-back-in-game/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/head-back-in-game/#commentsMon, 04 Apr 2011 22:32:24 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=160]]>I’ve not been blogging for a while — obviously. I attended the VAHomeschoolers Conference last week, though, and feel inspired to get my act together again. “Scared straight” would be another way to phrase it.

While I’ve been busy being negligent, the kids have continued with their lives, learning as they live and play. A few particularly educational events from the past six months stand out in my memory, though:

Having so much fun they even posed for a picture.

Jason and I surprised the kids with box seats at a Video Games Live concert. It. Was.

Fabulous!

Amazing!

Stupendous!

Brilliant!

Astounding!

And I’m not all that into gaming myself. Noah said he’d love to go again, and that’s high praise from him. I thought it was a fabulous way to introduce young people to the symphony orchestra. {music appreciation}

He CAN get up at 9am!

Noah recently took a two month Saturday Morning Physics class at the local college. I’m not sure how much he actually got out of the class; it was held at 9am, so he often used planetarium time for a nap. I think the material was a bit over his head as well. Still, he was exposed to a college-like situation, which is something.

Noah’s Japanese studies are going well for him, but I have completely let the ball drop there. He wanted me to teach him, but since I don’t already know Japanese I said we could learn together. Not only do I lack the consistency needed to teach him the he’d like, I also don’t have a curriculum that lays it out, lesson by lesson for him. The books we’ve bought are for a person who wants to visit Japan — which we do, but we want to actually learn the language, not just memorize key sentences.

I recently discovered a great app for my iPad, however, so my own studies are back on track. We’re not yet back to doing lessons together, though, which is what I’m striving for.

Also, Noah’s ability with computers and electronics surprises me. He’s dismantled our XBox and controllers and apparently does amazing things wih his computer. He’s asked to take a computer course at the Community College this summer, which I’m very excited for him to experience.

Studio time was bliss.

Music, of course, remains Noah’s primary activity, and all is going well. He and his band, ((The Evidence Of)), have been practicing a lot lately in preparation for their big gig later this month. Stay tuned. =D

Aengus has been busy discovering various YouTube personalities, reviewers, and comics. Though he’s discovered computers rather later than his brother, Aengus is finally learning to navigate his way through the internet. Only a little, though, as he can’t yet read what he’s clicking on.

And speaking of reading . . . Aengus’s frustration with being unable to read has reached an all-time high. I have absolute faith in unschoolers’ insistence that reading comes easily when children are not pushed. But Aengus views his inability to read when so many younger people can has him feeling really, really stupid. And I can’t just sit back and wait anymore.

So, we’ve instituted Operation: Reading. He and I are now working our way through Explode the Code, a little every day, until he feels comfortable with reading on his own. We’ve just started book four, by the end of which I suspect I can hand him some Garfield and Calvin and Hobbes books. Come to think of it, I’ll give him Garfield tonight!

Even better than now making a deliberate effort to learn how to read, Aengus has finally —finally!– started enjoying being read to. This child never liked storytime or lullabyes — only one of the ways in which he is unusual. =P I don’t know what finally clicked in his head, but he requested that I read Harry Potter to him.

~pause for happy dance~

While reading Harry, I was astounded once again by all the learning along the way: Latin, mythology, vocabulary, history, interpersonal relationships, politics, ethics, . . . . I really wish I’d been blogging then, because we paused all the time for mini lessons.

We just finished the series the other day (I was once again crying my eyes out), and he was concerned about what we’d read next. He now has a huge list of books he wants me to read to him! Noah requested A Series of Unfortunate Events, so that’s where we’ll start, then Artemis Fowl and The Hunger Games. Nothing beats Harry, though.

Oh, and we adopted a puppy back in January and named him ‘Buster (as in Myth). This was him at 3 and 4.5 months old:

Just a wee lit’le pup!

Buster, Bear, and Vinnie

He is now, at six months old, nearly a hundred pounds! (pics coming soon)

Aengus, in particular, has been helping with the training and raising of ‘Buster. He and Jason love watching The Dog Whisperer together and implementing Cesar’s methods. {biology, life skills, leadership}

We scored a trampoline from Freecycle, and it’s been a big hit with both boys and their friends. {P.E., socialization} If it continues to need repairs, we can add sewing to that list of learning opportunities, LOL. And the debate about whether we actually needed the net became a lesson about safety.

Just yesterday, Aengus and I started reading about the Egyptians. {world history} He says he wants to do some of the activities from Story of the World (which I LOVE), so I’m excited for us to start that. For now, though, we’re just reading a bit and discussing what we’ve read.

And that right there, folks, is the key to successfully home educating your children.

Aengus spent a lot of time there for a while watching Netflix, especially That 70’s Show, Mythbusters, Doctor Who and Torchwood. {modern U.S. history, science, critical thinking} The complexity of the ongoing and crossover plots is what really excited him about Doctorr Who and Torchwood, I think.

That, and who doesn’t want a Tardis?

]]>https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/head-back-in-game/feed/1homeboysAengus and Noah at Video Games LiveSat Morn Phys at JMU(( The Evidence Of )) in the studio'Buster at 3 Mos.Our BabiesI’m Turning Japanesehttps://homeboys.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/im-turning-japanese/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/im-turning-japanese/#commentsWed, 29 Sep 2010 19:18:09 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=149]]>Yesterday was whip-cracking day, and I’d call it mostly successful. The boys asked me to push them and I did, but there was little resistance and no fighting, so it was all good.

The only problem we’re (I’m) still having is getting into a daily routine. Yesterday was pretty relaxed until after dinner (which was late for us, as I had been at work), when Aengus and I did some math together (subtraction with borrowing, which he caught on to very quickly). In my fantasies, one kid helps with dinner each day and one cleans up afterwards . . . but we’ll have to work up to that. Baby steps.

Aengus and I never got around to phonics work, so there’s room for improvement there. Still, it worked out nicely that when Noah got on the XBox to play with his friend, Aengus and I were able to do some academic work together. The ultimate goal for this time in our day will be to also do some science and history activities and read together. Baby steps.

After Noah finished his turn on the XBox and Aengus got back on to play with his friend, Noah approached me about finally setting to work. It was 11:30. At night.

Reminding myself that this is my job (and that my idea of a convenient time to do academics is irrelevant), I turned off Jon Stewart and dragged out the books. First up: probability. We used the Basic, Not Boring workbook to get us started and watched the first of the Khan Academy series on the subject. Noah looked bored to tears, but he knows I’m insisting on more math work. And although this book is for younger students, we needed to start somewhere, right?

Math didn’t take long, though, and we were soon working on Japanese. Thanks to lots of recommendations and advice from fellow homeschoolers, we’re trying several resources to learn the language. I’m waiting for my copy of the Berlitz Essential Japanese program to arrive (and a workbook to help us learn Kana), but until then, I discovered a fabulous workbook at Barnes and Noble:
Japanese in 10 Minutes a Day. Between the 10 Minutes a Day workpages and the books we’ve already checked out from the library, we were zooming through some lessons last night. I told him about mnemonic devices and we came up with a few to help us (study skills). We got him registered with Live Mocha, so now we can both do those lessons together.

He stated that we need a set time each day to work on learning Japanese and asked that I wake him up at one o’clock and get to work with him by three. And I am totally on board with this request. But I’m also okay with the schedule we kept yesterday: sleep late, relax, eat late, work, go to bed late. I’m willing to adjust my own body rhythm to accommodate the kids’ prime learning times — as long as I still get my eight hours at some point.

We also talked a lot about the trip he wants to take for his 18th birthday. It seems he still wants to bring Shelby — and not Aengus. I told him tough tooties, we are NOT going halfway around the world and experiencing a completely different and utterly fascinating culture without him. It’s the learning adventure of a lifetime for all of us. Besides, I said, he’ll be two years older than he is now. He’ll be more mature by then.

And we talked about how much this trip will cost. He was shocked when I told him what I was budgeting (hell, I’m still in shock, too). I hope he’ll help me find ways to cut the costs, like lowering his lodging standards a bit and opting for making our own meals when we can. But he did tell me that all he wants for Christmas is a Nintendo 3DS, and any other gifts can be cash for the trip. And all I’m asking for is a vacuum cleaner and money for the Japan fund. We’ve been filling the piggy bank for a month now, and searching out every penny in the sofa or on the sidewalk. And you may laugh, but we’ve also decided to create a thermometer-like visual aid to gauge our savings progress.

I’ll be adding a PayPal donation button to this blog, for anyone who would like to contribute to this huge undertaking. I won’t start begging for handouts, but if you ever feel compelled to assist in the fundraising effort to give the boys this incredible cultural experience, we would be ever so appreciative.

But first, Noah will have to show me how to do it.

]]>https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/im-turning-japanese/feed/1homeboysYet More Partyinghttps://homeboys.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/yet-more-partying/
https://homeboys.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/yet-more-partying/#commentsTue, 28 Sep 2010 18:28:09 +0000http://homeboys.wordpress.com/?p=147]]>This weekend was our homeschooling group’s Educational Freedom Party — what other groups refer to as their Not-Back-To-School picnics, parties, etc. I hate that this lifestyle gets defined in relation to school, when school is so very far from what we do. So I flat-out refuse to call it a “Not-Back-To-School” anything. It’s the celebration of what we have — freedom to educate our own children however we choose to — not of what we are giving up, avoiding, or rejecting.

Anyway, our party was this weekend. We kind of got rained out; there were many families who bailed because the weather was iffy. But we forged ahead, partly because I’d already cleaned the house (dammit) and partly because any time the schedule gets changed all hell breaks loose. We had a good time even with the smaller crowd, and I really enjoyed chatting with new people and people I don’t get to see very often.

The teens seemed to have a good time playing their instruments (music) together (socialization). When it wound down to just Noah and one other teen, they played Call of Duty (dynamic thinking, cooperative problem solving) together for a while. Young men bond so easily over shooting and stabbing, don’t they?

Note to self: we need to encourage more teen girls to join Natural learners!

Aengus stayed inside for a long time playing video games (dynamic thinking, cooperative problem solving) with Tori and Ash (socialization). When he came out later in the evening, though, he really hit it off with yet another girl, a ten-year-old named Madison. Together, they chatted and played for several hours — and got a good workout when they discovered the treadmill.

The rain came full-force just when we were about to light the bonfire, which is always my favorite part of our parties. I guess that means we’ll just have to have another party this fall! Hot dogs and hot chocolate and teens with guitars. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect autumn party?

Noah was in a talkative mood this weekend, too, which is rare. We talked a lot about religion, society, politics, and particularly other cultures. He and I went to the Harrisonburg International Festival for a bit, too, where he got to play in a drum circle. He was slow to join in but thoroughly enjoyed it when he did.

Both boys have asked for me to push them to work on some academics, so we’re starting with math and foreign languages today (and for Aengus, reading). I’m not happy about this; I don’t like telling people what to do any more than I like being told what to do. But they want me to be the bitch, so here goes. If it affects our relationships, though, we’ll have to change course. I have always —always– said that I don’t keep the kids home so that we can fight. If our days become constant battles, they can either go to school or take on the responsibility of pushing themselves. Learning information is easy; repairing relationships is not.

And now it’s time to wake Noah. Getting him up before 3pm is step one of the new whip-cracking policy around here. Wish me luck.

Last weekend was all about sleepovers and parties: I went to a baby shower — I haven’t been to one of those in ages! My friend found out on her fortieth birthday that the birth control she and her husband had used all through their marriage failed. Her kids are eleven and thirteen; she was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Part of me is jealous of her: it would be nice to have a baby now, now that I know a bit more of what I’m doing. But I also know the reality of parenting; as easy as Aengus was, I still don’t think I’s want to go through all that again. Although, I loved being pregnant and would totally do that part of it again in a heartbeat; I’ve even tried over the years to talk Jason into me being a surrogate. That’s when his Catholic upbringing reared its ugly head.

I’m happy for my friend. She’s an amazingly kind and gentle person, and her kids are lucky to have her. All three of them. But I’m glad it’s her and not me.

Also last weekend, Noah got to spend time with his girlfriend for her seventeenth birthday. They went to dinner, saw a magician, raised hell at Books-A-Million, and saw Inception. Then Noah went to his buddy’s house to play video games, eat junk food, and shoot Mountain Dew with the guys two nights in a row (double sleepovers FTW).

Aengus went to a laser tag party for a new friend one night, then slept over after his bff’s birthday party the next night. And on his way home from James’s house, he convinced me to stop by WallyWorld . . . where he bought a gun. (>.<) It’s just a BB gun, and he already has two rifles, but this one is different somehow. It’s a handgun, and he just sits around and looks at it. Caresses it. Times himself taking it apart and putting it back together. I think he loves it the same way Noah loves his guitars.

I am in distress.

I can’t deny that he is who he is and has interests of his own, completely outside of my influence. And we’ve known since he was six months old and wielded anything he could like a sword that he has an unusual interest in weapons. I also know that my kids have a particular sensitivity to forbidden-fruit syndrome, so I believe in my head that I need to just keep my mouth shut (other than stressing safety) and let him be who he is.

But this obsession with guns is way beyond my comfort level. Those who knew me when Noah was young know how adamantly opposed to violence in any form I was. Noah wasn’t even allowed to shape his fingers into pretend guns or play “fighting” with his friends. I’ve become a very different person, and Aengus has had a different childhood than Noah had. He plays the violent video games and runs around “shooting” his friends. My consolation has been that his enjoyment of violence never extended into real life. In real life, he flips out when I kill a bug and is disturbed by the plight of animals at the hands of humans.

But he really, really likes guns. I am disturbed, but I can’t find any logical reason for this to bother me. It’s just my instinctive, knee-jerk reaction. And that’s not a good place to parent from, so I’m biting my tongue.

My favorite comment (from Morgana, a woman I have no doubt I’d be friends with IRL) came in a thread about strangers grilling us about whether our kids are really learning anything outside of school. Her response to them is a blunt but honest “None of your business.” But —

If I get any further questions, such as what we learn at home, I tell them that I only teach the basics: How to survive a zombie invasion, ways to take out a ninja, and how to run a successful pirate ship.

One of Aengus’s favorite video games is the Call of Duty franchise, particularly the Nazi Zombies minigame. He believes zombies really are possible and that the government is, in fact, researching them in Area 51. Since I am a big believer in the educational value of video games, even the ones that involve shooting supernatural creatures, I’ve always loosely considered zombies part of our “curriculum.” But as open-minded as I am to the academic potential of video games, I was unprepared for what happened this week.

When I started reading this to Aengus, I was pleasantly surprised by the academic topics we touched on. By page nine, we had discussed wilderness survival (lifeskills), first aid (life skills, health), the afterlife (religiousstudies), viruses versus bacteria and the transmission of each (health), sex (health), how nerves and the brain work, (biology) the various body functions necessary for life (biology), reflexes and instincts (biology), and I had defined several vocabulary words for him.

Zombies have, literally, no physical sensations. All nerve receptors throughout the body remain dead after reanimation. This is truly their greatest and most terrifying advantage over the living. We, as humans, have the ability to experience physical pain as a signal of bodily damage. Our brain classifies such sensations, matches them to the experience that instigated them, and then files the information away for use as a warning against future harm. It is this gift of physiology and instinct that has allowed us to survive as a species. It is why we value virtues such as courage, which inspires people to perform actions despite warnings of danger. The inability to recognize and avoid pain is what makes the walking dead so formidable. Wounds will not be noticed and, therefore, will not deter an attack. Even if a zombie’s body is severely damaged, it will continue to attack until nothing remains.

It turns out that in the context of something utterly ridiculous, something created for pure fun, we can extrapolate the study of any number of “academic” subjects. Can you imagine the discussion that follows reading such a paragraph? My son stays home with me, reading this stuff with me, so we actually had that discussion. Multiply that times 365, then by eighteen, and I’m pretty sure his education will be fairly broad by the time he moves out.

On top of which, he’ll survive with all the other homeschoolers.

Aengus’s interest in video games sparked his interest in this book, but also in iPhone apps, online games, and many television shows, each of which has led to their own discussions. I am a book lover, but as an effective means to learn about the world, I’d say books come in dead last. Helpful and informative, but only in a supporting role. Video games, television, and other electronic media bring learning alive in a very real way.