SELF LOVE It’s the most trust worthy of them all

We may know Valentine's Day is one big marketing swindle but that doesn't stop our romantic notions or suspicions when it comes to PDAs and over-sized bouquets writes Aisling O'Loughlin....

February 12, 2018

Valentine’s Day: A reminder of just how unloved/unlovable you are? A Hallmark charade to coerce you into rosemantic submission? A sign of how useless your other half is at choosing flowers you actually like? Does he even know you at all? There’s nothing that will make your lust wilt faster than a bunch of last minute petrol station carnations. Or could it possibly be a worthwhile celebration of heart thumping, Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch jumping LOVE?

Why are we such cynics when it comes to love?

The bigger the bouquet, we tut, the greater the chance of infidelity. It’s hard to win. The more public the display of lurrrve, we suspect, the greater the chance of homosexuality (this obviously applies to so called straight relationships). Flip it for the gay community. Could it be a sign of latent hetrosexuality?

Self love is the best love: We can’t even rely on super couple Beyoncé and Jay Z for a fairytale ending for Valentine’s Day inspiration.

I remember being brought to a restaurant with plastic tablecloths and laminated menus on the wrong side of the tracks on Valentine’s Day. Suffice to say, it didn’t end well. The relationship that is, the day itself limped on in tight fisted misery as it dawned on me, ‘I’m worth more than this synthetic shambles’. We may have been students but come on!

It’s only one day of the year. Skip a night or two in the boozer and bring me to a proper restaurant.

Those were the days when I didn’t mind sitting in the passenger seat or admiring the decor when the bill was called. Praise be! I’ve changed. These days, I buy me when me wants. It’s taken a while to identify the conditioning. How weak to wait for approval or to allow another evaluate my worth! The most attractive people in the world don’t have symmetrical faces as we’re lead to believe.

The most attractive people in the world love themselves and do it their way. Now that is hot!

The most attractive people usually don’t have millions of followers on Instagram because they’re not seeking strangers to validate their existence. The most attractive people might not even be in a relationship because they’re jogging on following their own path. The most attractive people rarely compromise and follow their passions with determination. They’re not waiting for the postman on Valentine’s Day to see if they’re in or out. So this Valentine’s Day do yourself a favour; love yourself first.

Remember that delicious line in Sex and the City when Samantha caught Richard cheating and concluded, ‘I love you, but I love me more’. Well there it is: Love you more.

That doesn’t mean showing everyone your arse on Instagram or bleating on about female empowerment while objectifying yourself as so many of us do. Start by truly loving yourself by putting your name in the top billing and by living the life that makes you feel most alive. Wishing one and all a Valentine’s Day filled with self love.