No, I Am Not Claire Martin

This blog came into existence as a joking response to the fact that Claire Martin was so much more successful at getting her name mentioned on Dave Barry's Blog than the rest of his fan boys (including me).
These days this where I stick copies of the funny, silly, crazy things that I either come across, or which are sent to me because people know I appreciate that sort of thing.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Freezing time at Central Station

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Doctor Bill

Doctor Bill had slept with one of his patients and had been feeling guilty about it all day. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice within himself: "Bill, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go...."

But invariably the other voice inside his head would bring him back to reality: "But Bill, you're a vet..."

It's what I tell people my starsign is as well.....

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Just....Wow

Friday, February 08, 2008

For Those That Have Investments

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Herding Cats

Now, I'm an IT project manager. Project management has five steps to it:

1) Figure out who has to deliver what, and by when.2) Tell those who have to deliver things, what they have to deliver and by when.3) Follow the boogers up.4) Follow the boogers up.5) Follow the boogers up.

The last three steps are referred to as herding cats, because IT professionals who have to deliver things tend to have a varying set of ideas about how to go about what they need to do, and aren't good communicators pretty well by definition.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Cat Folding

Friday, February 01, 2008

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM Quicky turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!