So this happened

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I'm the same person who wrote the "grumble" post a couple of days ago. I guess it was tl;dr. lol

So instead, here's a writeup of what happened to me today. I'm just going to copy/paste what I wrote on FB. If I don't end up in the ER at some point tonight I'll be amazed [I'm still in full panic mode six hours after the fact].

Anyway...

From earlier today [keep in mind my audience on FB does not necessarily know much about SDs in general]:

"I was just verbally assaulted by a man I've never seen before in my life. Asked me what my dog is trained for. I'm sick of people getting up in my business, so I just said "he's my service dog". Man insisted I tell him WHAT my dog is trained to do for me, claiming that if ANYONE asks, I'm required by law to tell them.

This is, of course, false. If the management of Starbucks (or anywhere else I might be with the dog) asks, I'm required to tell THEM, not any old random idiot on the street. I said I don't talk about my medical issues with strangers - or I tried to, anyway, but he cut me off, insisting I tell him. See, the thing with this law is that it essentially makes you reveal your disability without actually being directly asked. It's a super sucky law brought about by the idiots that tote their purse dogs around and call them "service dogs".

Anyway, he goes on and says 'so the dog isn't trained for anything then?', which was just his own special way of being a d******** (did I mentioned he was yelling the entire time?). Then he said he was going to call the police (I said go ahead). Then he yelled at me for being a faker and hurting people with "legitimate" service dogs. His evidence that I'm a faker? There's a guy that I semi-know who comes in here regularly and is someone I allow to touch/pet/say hi to the dog (Cy loves this guy). This dude apparently saw this happen a couple days ago and went on to tell me that he knows that by law no one can ever touch a service dog (huh?). I stopped responding at that point, because it didn't matter, he talked over everything I tried to say - and besides, he clearly knows everything anyway.

It didn't stop there. He went to the counter and very loudly explained that they need to ask me what the dog is trained for, because he knows for certain I am a faker, and also he comes in here a lot and is allergic to dogs (who saw that coming?). Then some nonsense about how I'm always in here and how I'm breaking the federal law of Colorado. (yes, that's exactly what he said.).

I'm *still* shaking. This is basically exactly what my dog is for - to provide a barrier between me and everyone else (and stabilize me when everything goes to s*** and my anxiety/psychosis gets out of control), but this guy was so overbearing and angry I actually thought he was going to take a swing at me or something. Cy was highly confused and didn't seem to even know what to do other than turn and look at me - though I suppose dude is lucky the dog didn't go in to protective mode, which he can and does do upon occasion.

I feel like I might cry. I think I need to leave. I have a MRI in an hour anyway."

I'm sorry that happened. He's obviously needs a service dog for his anger management. Unfortunately, there are people on this planet that are totally clueless, like to hear themselves "Pontificate" and nothing can make them happy. I would, if I were you, walk a way at the first word of someone like that, in the future. Their reward is you engaging them in the first place. I'm surprised no one came to your defense. Shame on the clientele and the staff. Maybe you need to find a new place to frequent. I'm known for opening my mouth before I know what I said. So, he's lucky I wasn't there. Good Luck and just know the guy was a "Class A Idiot". Good Luck!

It has happened to me a few times not so aggressively and its even been with family members that still think they know more then me. The family members I learn to take with stride and as training for myself. It helps when strangers do it to me. I say what I this an like the other poster I happen to speak out where I am not asked to. I think I tell people I have terrets or something like that when they give me funny looks. I have this thing I do a lot talk while I think and see what I think is odd. Have been doing it ever since I was a child (sorta) embarrsing to my family. But I don't think it is a babd thing and some kind of copping skill. It can work in most of my fav. when things are stressing. I also speak when I over here something someone is speaking of and I happen to know it is or is not a fact. I saw once posted here that when a person threatened a dog team of calling the police thier response was go ahead then I can tell them I am being verbally assulted an you can go to prison for a long time cause it is a federal law too, to do that to a disabled person with a SD. I hope I am responding right. By the way I also trained my own SD.

Thanks for the replies. As a follow-up to this event, I will tell you that I ended up in the ER that night because I couldn't get my panic and paranoia under control. I was trying, and we were sitting in a different Starbucks, one where I've never had a single problem, and I was feeling edgy but not out of control... then very suddenly a girl jumped up and practically ran at me asking to pet the dog in very excited voice. It scared the crap out of me (because it happened so fast and was totally unexpected) and I pretty much fell apart. So that was just super.

Haven't seen the guy who started all of this, but they did tell me he's a regular here. They apparently wrote up an incident report on it, and I only found out because someone who wasn't even working (or even in the store at all) at the time told me about it. But, if I do encounter him again, I'm just going to call the police. Another who is that out of control and willing to yell at a total stranger in public in front of others is seriously unbalanced. Ugh.

If that happened to me I would write it up and send it to the editorial departments of whatever newspapers are in your area. If you don't mention people or businesses by name it's not slander. So Starbucks could be called
"a local high end coffee shop".
Getting your story out in print makes you feel better and educates people to issues they might not have been aware of. If I ever saw that guy again I'd pepper spray him before he could say a word

Next time you encounter that behavior, keep in mind that IS verbal assault on a disabled person.

Don't be afraid to walk away and start calling the police if they follow you.

And don't go to that starbucks ever again. If the staff and patrons are just going to let a disabled person get assaulted like that and do nothing to intervene, they shouldn't get any of your business. And be sure to write to them about it, too, so they know their passive enabling of that behavior cost them a regular customer.

I would have loved to have just walked away in this particular situation, but I was essentially cornered (pretty much literally, as I was sitting at a corner table in the back and he was blocking my only way out). I absolutely *will* call the police without hesitation if I see him again (he's a "regular" here, so it seems likely).

I do still go to the same location (I'm writing from here now) because I'm a "long-term" (3+ years) customer here and everyone knows me/I know them (and there's no reason I should be run off because of this idiot). I've never (until now) had a serious problem here, but I was a bit baffled that they didn't at least tell him to calm down or something, particularly since there were other people in the store (who also did nothing... which is hardly surprising). They did write up a report for corporate on my behalf in case the other guy "complained" (about what, I'm not sure). And I guess it was last week sometime that I was told he had been "dealt with" and that he "probably" won't try anything like that again. Probably? Yay.

I guess I'm "over it", at least from an acute standpoint. But now I have a whole new fear of being out in public - people flipping out on me because they can't "see" anything wrong with me. I've certainly gotten dirty looks before, but those I can ignore. Screaming and being threatening, not so much.