This is a video from Knudson Cove Marina in Ketchikan, Alaska of a giant humpback whale breaching right next to the dock. The man in the video is Captain Cy of Strike Zone Sportfishing. Because when you live in Ketchikan, Alaska, you better have a name like Captain Cy. I would have been scared. Of course almost everything scares me, so I'm not surprised. Jesus, what was that?! "The sound of receiving an email." Oh, right. *opening email* More boner pill spam. That whale looks like it's made of rubber. It's not though, it's blubber. Wacka wacka wacka! Honestly, I can't even believe whales are even a real thing that exist. Those buttplugs that look like animal tails either.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Lydia, who would have hopped in that whale's mouth and lived there for four days to beat Jonah's record.