Pages

September 20, 2016

Better Things

"You're gonna find your own path because we're {women} tough and we can take it. And as long as you believe in yourself and you take care of each other and watch out for each other, you just make the rest up as you go along. That's all there is to it. That's it." -Sam Fox {Better Things}

How many times, as a woman, have you felt defeated? Like you are doing a less than perfect job at life? Judge by other women? Like you have no flipping clue what you are doing? Judged by other mothers?

Raises hand.

For me, my biggest fear is that I'm not being a good enough mom, even after 6 years of raising tiny humans. I have days where I literally feel like I'm in a fog, this can't be my life, what the heck am I doing? My kids are running around, hitting each other, jumping off the furniture, crying, watching too much TV, and I'm over here feeling like my nose is barely above water {and I only have two kids!}.

Most of motherhood is making stuff up as we go along, am I right? Trial and error is my parenting style. What works for one kid doesn't work for another. What one kid likes, the other doesn't. It's like a three-ring circus some days and I'm the ring leader. Sure we can all read the books and join the moms groups and buy the organic everything but when it comes down to it, we are all just learning as we go {and doing the best that we can along the way}.

There's so much drama and mommy wars going on these days and it's like, why? Why, instead of criticizing other moms for their choices, don't we celebrate them? Can you even imagine what kind of world we'd live in if we applauded moms for breastfeeding? Encouraged moms who co-sleep that they are doing what's best for their baby? It would be a much different place that the world we currently live in, I can tell you that much.

As moms, as women, we put up with a lot. We have pretty thick skin and we take a lot of crap. BUT it can tear us down. The endless arguments. The numerous uneaten meals. The protests to take a bath, get dressed, do homework, go to bed, etc. I know there have been days/weeks I have felt defeated and like I couldn't take anymore. But then I remember I have to and I can take it. I can take it and I can learn from it. I can learn how not to do things, how not to react, how to do it differently the next time. I can show my kids that I am tough and I can overcome my obstacles.

As a fellow mom, I hope that when you meet me you feel encouraged. I hope to never meet another mom with judging eyes. I want to be the type of mom/friend who you can talk/vent to and never feel criticized. Often times we can feel like we are the only one battling these things but I want to assure you, you are not alone. I want you to know that we are all making this up as we go, no one is the perfect parent and we are all doing the best that we can.

I think that's why I can relate to Better Things so well. Sam Fox is a single mom to three young girls. She's busy, she's imperfect, she feels like she's not enough and she's doing the best that she can. Life can throw us curve balls but I think if we learn to believe in ourselves, that what we are doing is the best, and lift each other/other moms up, then we are going to be OK.To celebrate our perfectly imperfect lives, I have an amazing swag bag to giveaway to one lucky mom who comments with her most rewarding mom moment. If you follow me on Snapchat you saw how cool this prize was! Inside the swag bag includes:•Ray-Ban Sunglasses•Chipolo bluetooth keyring•Leather Clutch for mom’s things•Emergency Beauty Kit•Hypoallergenic travel pillow•Ultra-Soft travel pillow protector•Essential Oils Blend Mini •Skinny Lip Balm•“Credit Card” Mints Everything a busy mom needs to get through live a little easier.

To be eligible to win the swag bag, go to this link, watch the trailer for Better Things and come back to share the most rewarding thing about being a mom in the comments. Winner will be announced September 29. Good luck!!

The most rewarding thing about being a mom is when my kids learn a new skill, like putting their own shoes on or completing a puzzle all by themselves, and watching their faces light up with pride. That's really the goal of raising kids: to produce happy, healthy, autonomous people.

The most rewarding! They are each at a different part in their life in which reward me differently. However, the most rewarding to me is when I have done something right and it shows in their actions, that makes my heart grow a thousand times. Oliver's First Day of Preschool stands out the most. It was a few weeks back and he was super excited to go to his first day of school. He didn't cry, went an played as soon as he was in the room and actually made a new friend. When his dad and I left we actually stood outside the one door and watched him through the window for a bit and what I saw made me so happy I burst out in tears. Our babysitter was dropping off her son as well, he is Oliver's best friend, for his first day and he was crying, making him mom cry and the teachers had to pull them apart. As our babysitter was exiting the room Oliver stopped playing with his new friend, walked over to his best friend and gives him a hug and tells him "it will be ok." I knew then that I had done something right that I was raising a boy that will be nice to all and will care for those that are hurting.

There are so many rewarding moments! One of my most recent moments was last week after school pick up when another mom stopped me to say that her son had been playing alone at school (they're in kindergarten) and was nervous about going everyday. She said my son Logan had gone up to him and asked if he wanted to play and made sure he was having fun. I saw her yesterday and she said her son had been so excited to make a friend and felt so much better about school. I was so proud of him for being kind and making sure the little boy felt included.

I always worry that I'm not doing enough to help my kids grow up into great adults. Just yesterday I was bagging up baby clothes, blankets etc. to donate to refugees that just moved to our area from Congo. My eldest daughter (5) saw me and asked what I was doing. I explained what a refugee is why we need to help. A few hours later she came up to asked if the refugee kids have any toys. I told her that they probably didn't and she replied that she could give them some of her toys. I was struck by her words, what an amazing little person she is already and I felt like I'm doing an ok job as a mom. I gave her a bag and she went through her toys and filled the bag up. We dropped them off tonight and we both left with a smile on our face.

Isn't that so awesome? We clean out our playroom every couple of months and donate our unused toys and Kendall actually REALLY likes that too. She is always more than willing to give her stuff to kids that don't have as much and that makes me so happy and proud too.

My babe is only 1 year old - and so far the most rewarding moment is watching her learn something new... Saying "Mama" was awesome - as well as signing for "milk" and pointing. Its almost like I am watching her brain work ha!!

Now that my kids are getting older, I find that my rewarding moments come in watching them be "tiny adults". Whether it be my 15 yr old daughter volunteering to help with chores, or cook a dinner knowing that it will be one last thing her father or I would have to do, or my 11 yr old son taking inventory of his school supplies so he would feel prepared for the first day of school. These are little moments that affirm in me that they are paying attention to what we've been teaching them.