Community corner: People who care about families gather at Butte Parent Caf?

Welcome to the Butte Parent Caf?, a place where parents can relax, converse with other parents and enjoy a free dinner and childcare.

The monthly cafes, held in Oroville and Chico, are offered by Valley Oak Children's Services for parents, foster parents, grandparents, care providers and "anyone working with or raising children, or anyone in the community who is interested in strengthening families," according to Shauana Gowdy, co-coordinator.

"We have homeless people all the way to doctors, counselors, teachers. We run the whole gamut. There's not one population. Everyone shows up," said Gowdy.

Butte Parent Caf?s are more than just a pleasant evening out. The purpose of the program is to "strengthen families through the use of the five protective risk factors," said Gowdy. The protective factors, developed by the Center for the Study of Social Policy through its Strengthening Families Framework, are: parental resilience, social connections, concrete support in times of need, knowledge of parenting and child development, and social and emotional competence of children. The Butte Parent Caf? is based on the World Caf? model and training was provided Be Strong Families.

The implementation of the caf? program was the direct result of needs identified in a survey called Family Needs Assessment within Butte County, conducted by Valley Oak.

"Due to poverty levels, single-parent homes, unemployment, high school dropout rates, substantiated child abuse and neglect cases and an increase in domestic violence calls, according to Kidsdata.org for 2010, families are at an increased risk of experiencing family stress," said Gowdy. "The Butte Parent Caf? was proposed as a way to engage with families, utilize the protective factors and increase family strengthening."

Following dinner, which is catered by local restaurants, attendees gather in small groups of four to five with volunteer community hosts, all of whom have a "vested interest in the lives of children," said Gowdy.

The groups engage in 15-minute "guided conversations." Each group participates in three different conversations which are based on one or more of the five protective factors and prompted by questions developed by Gowdy and co-coordinator Justin Margolis.

"There are different questions like, 'What do you do when you are short of money? How do you make sure your family has what it needs? What resources in the community do you go to for help and support? When you need to talk to someone who do you talk to; why do you talk to that person; and are they the right person to provide you the support you need?' We're trying to get parents to think about why they do what they do. What we see is that people tend to isolate themselves and don't know where to go, who turn to, when things in life come up," said Margolis.

The cafes are funded by a two-year, $275,000 grant awarded by First 5 Butte County in April 2013. The grant covers the costs of food, facility rental, administrative costs and the expense of childcare providers as well as Gowdy and Margolis' salaries.

The first cafes were held in September 2013. The Chico caf? draws about 25 people every month and a dozen people attend the Oroville event. Some participants have become regulars while new faces are also seen every month, allowing for relationships to develop.

"We have two families, one a foster family and the other an adoptive family, who met each other at the caf?. They formed a supportive friendship connection and remain in touch extending their relationship outside the caf?," said Gowdy.

Another caf? member, a single mom with two kids, attended a caf? several months ago and "enjoyed herself," said Gowdy. She returned the next month and cried through the entire evening. Following the caf?, she reached out to Margolis and Gowdy to tell them the reason she had cried was that day she had decided to get a divorce and didn't know how to tell her children. The co-coordinators provided the support and encouragement she needed. She is now a regular at the caf?.

"She came back for support as she's going through this life challenge," said Margolis.

Gowdy and Margolis bring different knowledge, skills and experiences to the program.

Gowdy earned her bachelor's degree in psychology from Chico State in 2005. Since then she has worked in several community nonprofits with "children and adults of all ages, abilities and challenges including substance abuse, mental health issue and physical abuse." Last year Gowdy began work on her masters in social work.

"When I saw the job listing for caf? coordinator I fell in love. I knew I could bring my experience to the program and make a difference," she said.

Margolis the single father of two teenage sons, said he has a "background of trouble" that he wanted to overcome. He turned to Valley Oak 10 years ago and has been a client ever since. Today, Margolis is successfully parenting his sons, attending Butte College to earn a degree in social and behavioral studies, and co-coordinating the caf? program.

"Shauana and I both bring a lot to the table. We are ying and yang. She has the education and work experience. I have the other type of experience — street education. I bring different experiences and relatability for the clients. Together we are a power ball of amazingness to the parents," said Margolis.