Smartassery for the serious. Assistance for the terrifed. Information for the curious. A memoir for what's left of my sanity.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Night of the Wild Tzamain.

You know... Writing that title I originally imagined an exotic bonfire with smores. Best. Blend. Ever. In all seriousness, no. It wasn't anything like that. This happened Saturday evening, we’ve been bunkered down since then. Been fiddling on the cellphone a bit but until we knew what we were going to do we kept our mouths shut. We’re posting it now, though. I'll just start from the beginning.

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It was drawing near dinner time; my hands were wrapped in a few bandages and gloved for working. I was putting away some of the tools, knowing fully well Mystery wouldn't let me get away with missing another meal to work. Sitting on a freshly cut beam I dropped tool by tool into the box, grumbling at about this tired broken body. Least we got some things done today, put up a rope ladder on one of the trees, now we have easy access to the second level. After we got tangled up and then straightened out Mystery headed outside to garden, Trinity and Ron were on the tire swing no doubt. I could hear Mr. Sunshine giving short growls now and then, the quiet rattling of the chains letting me know where he was moving to down below. Just another small comfort, knowing where he was meant a lot and I don't mean to protect him but to protect us from him as well... Should anything happen.

I should have realized by the quieting something was coming, the atmosphere just changed. Hell, I felt just weird up until it happened. The sound of bushes shuffling, and then a giant bang, the door that was covered mostly by sticker bushes came flying off the hinges, the force of it landing yards inside the mansion. I stood up immediately, grabbing hold of the saw blade in one hand, hammer in the other and looking at the intruder. A man that came close to six feet stood in the doorway; I would have thought it to be Prosper if not for the mask. A black GP-5 Russian style gas mask adorned the face of this figure; the light caught the lenses that were tinted red, giving the man that much more of a menacing introduction. He was covered in black, the boots, the cargo pants, the plain t-shirt.

And that figure, it moved like a goddamn tank on steroids. I chucked the hammer hitting him in the abdomen but it meant little to him. He jumped over the beam I had previously been sitting on and reached out, I stumbled backwards dodging his hand and hit awkwardly into the wall behind me, sitting against it before I slid until my ass hit the floor. He looked down and raised his leg and I rolled out of there dodging him stomping down. I pulled off the ground and gained some distance which he was intent to keep very limited. The back of my shirt was pulled, I was briefly lifted off the ground at how hard he yanked me backwards, my shoes caught the floor and I skidded around to face him which only result in pain swelling on the side of my face, I hit the floor none too graceful either. He leaned down to take another swing and I held up the saw, cutting open his forearm in the process. He yelled something incoherent, or I just didn't give a flying fuck to hear what it was at the time. Either way I aimed up, my leg squaring against his stomach, a little lower he bent which was just enough for punch across the face.

I swear, his eyes flashed beneath the lenses. Bleeding onto my shirt he grabbed the front of it and threw me, not really seeming to care where I landed. I just remember going up and then coming down, hard enough to knock the air out of my lungs. Punching and kicking I can handle, but being thrown and landing flat on your back or stomach just hurts all at once, way worse in my opinion. I lost the saw when I landed, no idea where the hell it went. Just flew out of my hand. He was talking again, no; he was shouting I remember because it hurt my head like all hell. Recalling the sass I gave him on his blog and my own. I grunted pulling myself up on all fours and found him already in front of me, bending low and scooping me up by my throat. And then I was just in the air, dangling, and air slowly being cut off. I grabbed his forearm to pull myself up, give some leverage but it only worked in short bursts. I could barely reach him with my legs, couldn't use that for leverage nor could I nail him one in the ribs. All I knew was that 1) I was becoming dizzy 2) He was stilling talking 3) And all I could think was "I wish he'd just... Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

His hand tightened around my throat as his arm jolted, a hard whack echoing through the mansion. I peeked down to see Mystery going at it with her stick, doing her thing. Whacking the ever loving shit out of Tzamain from behind. I really wanted to laugh, I knew I would later, but right then I had to converse was little air was still able to slip into my body. He turned on her, grabbing the stick with his bleeding arm, denting the chunk as he did so until it snapped in two. I heard her gasp briefly before regaining, smacking Tzamain in the face with what was left of the stick. It was a hard swing that knocked his mask to one side, he stepped back and she pursued on him with another whack, a harder one after that, and again and again she attacked. He tensed, taking the blows with short snarls and grunts, and the next noise that came was not from him, a screech I knew all too well and then hell just opened a can of worms and dumped it onto our party.

I saw him, Mr. Sunshine came out of nowhere, grabbing Mystery and throwing her to the ground roughly, I panicked thinking he was going to attack her but he did not. He turned upon Tzamain and launched an assault, leaping onto his back and clawing at his masked face from behind. The enemy of ours yelled gripping my throat tightly. I choked, really thinking my neck was going to snap. Sunshine just kept going, his hands grabbed Tzamain's shredded mask and ripped off the remains, and I stared straight into the blazing green eyes, his bald head scratched open and bleeding. It was only for a split moment before Sunshine bit into his exposed collar, snarling like a wild animal. I was flung a few feet; fuck the landing I was happy to still be breathing. I pulled myself up and was met by Mystery; we stood back and watched as Mr. Sunshine tore into Tzamain.

The large man grabbed our companion by the hood and threw him onto the floor in front of him; I coughed at the sudden intake of breath, wanting nothing more than to help him. But hell, what could either of us do when Sunshine was carving out Tzamain's dark meat? He sprang off the ground like-like a freaking monkey, or pouncing cat, something, and just clawed his way into the man’s chest. The two men just brawled, and Sunshine just took every punch, every kick, and came back with another leap onto Tzamain's person, biting into him and tearing out new pieces. The pain was starting to get to him, and I could visibly see missing chucks of his body. The dent in his collar, uneven arms... His shirt was barely existent. The moment be began showing he was tiring was when Mr. Sunshine changed his attack pattern. He grabbed Tzamain and began whipping him around like a stiff ragdoll that needed to be loosened up. Screeching, growling, all these noises inhuman. Our enemy kept fighting, he punched Sunshine back a few steps but he only came at him harder, grabbing Tzamain's torso and slamming him into the wall. He bit into his side, drawing blood, tearing out flesh. Another dent, another missing piece.

Sunshine's face was filthy before but now it was just red with blood. His light grey eyes glinting with satisfaction at every piece of meat he bit off. Tzamain reacted violently to being shoved into the wall; he began punching Sunshine in the head again and again. I grabbed Mystery's wrist, really hoping she would prevent me from running at them both because honestly, I'm still in no condition to fight. Mr. Sunshine snarled, venom spewing out of his mouth in the form of gargled growls, he grabbed Tzamain's belt with both hands and heaved up, turning and throwing our enemy only a few feet. Just to get him off, it would seem. He hurried over and they continued, Sunshine grabbing a tiring Tzamain and throwing him upwards to the second floor through the opening. He vanished from the first level, but we could hear the screaming mixed with Sunshine's shrieking. Blood flew down onto the first level and I snapped. I rushed forward to the ladder and poorly climbed up it, scrambling onto the second level with Mystery right with me. She grabbed my ankle and pulled me back near the open we just climbed out of and I really did need to thank her for quelling my need to step in.

And there they were, or there Sunshine was and what was left of Tzamain. Carved open like my doppelganger was and Sunshine was chewing on pieces of him as he sat on the body's torso. I looked to Mystery who was looking up and followed her gaze, staring up at the black helicopters that hovered. A familiar logo plastered in red on the side of them. VINDICATE. I glanced to their fallen ex. comrade before looking back to the chopper, hell, we were already in deep shit so I flipped them the bird. Mystery smacked my arm down and called to Sunshine who looked our way with a sneer. Calling that we had to get down below, I called to Sunshine who wouldn't budge from his dinner. Mystery was trying to seduce him with steak and I realized maybe he doesn't know the difference between meats. And in the midst of panic I screamed in a voice that could rival Malcolm’s mother's, "If you don't get the fuck down there you will nevereat meat again!"

And then he was on us, and we fell through the hole he threw Tzamain through, both held awkwardly. I was practically clinging to his side at the sudden drop, realizing I didn't go splat I swatted at his stomach until he dropped me... Which he did do to us both. Mystery was getting the children while I tugged along Mr. Sunshine to cover. He wore a lopsided -bloody- grin, like a child that was just so damn happy without cause. When he got tired of being dragged and I grew way too sore I dropped his arm and walked away, seconds later to be flung and land onto his back. He was at Mystery's side a moment later while I was slouched, muttering vulgarities.

We decided we were going to park it there that night. We stayed up, stayed in pairs, and did not leave the mansion. How could we? What if they landed, what if they were out there, or what if we dragged them to another place? There were too many variables. We were better off on our own turf and ready. Trinity and Ronald slept by one another come morning when we decided to take sleeping shifts. I woke up to Sunshine in my lap again, his mask pressed tightly to his chest. My lips screwed down in a scowl the moment I heard Mystery chuckling, telling me on he weaseled his way over. I slid him off and onto the ground to begin my own shift while Mystery slept soon after.

We are alright. Bit bruised, a bit scratched, the kids are all alright though.

Is it bad "Another One Bites the Dust" is playing in my head now?

No idea, but I really want to just curl up in a fort of blankets right about now. Or at least until I’m healed up.