Podcast: Letting go of ‘Nice’

‘Nice’ is the death knell for real relationship… and it’s a breeding ground for resentment, stress, overwhelm, and misery. With the holiday season before us, we take a look at how much ‘nice’ crops up in our lives… how we can recognize it… and how to start changing it.

Click the player below to listen in with us! We’d love for you to share your thoughts and experiences with this, below.

6 comments

Being able to stay present with what we feel while we feel it is an art few of us are taught. My feelings were invalidated so young in favour of pleasing others and being conditioned to be the “nice girl” if I wanted love, acceptance and validation. I abandoned myself, invalidated myself in order to please and validate others. My journey of healing this has sometimes led to a swing of the pendulum in the other direction as I find my way and learn a new language of feeling, so I’ve had periods of anger surfacing as I release that suppressed power that was held in my body.

Empaths and Sensitives tend to live outside themselves through the reactions and feelings of others and desert themselves completely. This scattering of energy leads to low self-esteem. It has been one of the biggest wounds/unhelpful trainings for me to transform. Constantly seeking approval from others, from outside myself has been exhausting in the past. I call it ‘staying with yourself’ but it’s like building new muscles and doesn’t come easily.

I’ve also learned that it is much easier for me to comfortably say NO to others if I am regularly saying YES to myself. And, I’ve also realised that if people react and find it hard to hear me say NO, it just means they are over-giving in their own lives and not saying NO when they need to.

Thanks for talking about this valuable topic. We all need to reclaim that power we’ve given away to become whole again.

I so appreciate your insight and sharing… Love the analogy of building new muscles. It doesn’t come easily, and saying YES to ourselves, is such a powerful step in this healing. It’s true too, that the pendulum can swing, as we learn that new way of being. It’s healing to recognize that, and not beat ourselves up about the swings. ;)
I so appreciate all that you share in your work, Kimberly… and your willingness to open your journey for others to witness.
xo
Elizabeth

Hi Kimberley – . I understand what you mean about the pendulum and when that happens I think we need to give ourselves (and other’s) even more room to feel, process and integrate. Thanks so much for sharing – your transparency is inspiring and welcome! Much love to you! <3

Kat & Elizabeth- excellent podcast! Such an important reminder to say Yes to ourselves first and foremost. This time of year it certainly feels like we can be pulled in many many directions. As an intuitive and someone sensitive to others emotions and moods, the message about giving up our truth to give everyone what they “need” to keep the peace or make them happy was another bullseye. So glad I’ve come far enough down the path to have resigned my position as “family cruise director” years ago. Best to you both!

Thanks so much, Amy. When my boys were little, I used to remind them all the time that I wasn’t their cruise director! Love that you’ve redesigned your position with your family.
I believe it is harder for intuitives to maintain that healthy balance, as so many of us developed roles as the harmony keepers in our families of origin.
Have a beautiful Holiday Season, as you take care of yourself first!!
xo
Elizabeth

Hi Amy! Thanks for stopping by, I had to smile about the cruise director role. I , too, am glad to not have to be that role in my family. When it comes to family, I fare better when I check in first and then make plans or commitments. Im looking forward to connecting with you on Tuesday! <3 Kat