It's OK To Cry

Dry your tears with the Dow Jones Hanky. The linen handkerchief is being sold at Design Glut, which designs "culturally relevant products".

As you can see in the image here, the DJ Hanky illustrates exactly what happened to your 401k, with the tag line, "It's OK to cry." The price is $28, which seems steep.

But think of it as an investment, since you can't afford to buy individual tissues anymore.

Still, be careful. You may find you're using the hanky a lot, because every time you raise it to dab away your tears, the collapsing stock chart emblazoned on the linen will remind you of what happened to your money.

You'll just cry harder.

Crude Oil Jewelry

Crude Oil Jewelry

I asked Design Glut's co-founder, Liz Kinnmark, how sales are going. "We launched the hankies on March 20th," she says. "So far we've sold 30 of them." Ok, so they're selling about as well as mortgage-backed securities at the moment.

But I love the idea!

I asked Kinnmark if she's produced any other finance-related products. She pointed me to Design Glut's currency-collection jewelryand the crude oil jewelry, where the $100 price tag could buy you more than two barrels of the real stuff.

Currency Jewelry

Currency Jewelry

By the way, for those of you so worried about your portfolio you've started smoking again, Design Glut has a $140 "smoking gun" cigarette holder, which looks like you're putting a gun in your mouth when you take a drag.

Smoking Gun

Smoking Gun

Might want to sell the cigarette holder and the hanky together in a package deal...