I had a very interesting dream the other night & wanted to share what God showed me the meaning of it was with you. It’s a very good lesson!!

I dreamed I was in this huge, empty parking lot. My car was about 50′ or so away from me, maybe farther. Suddenly, this little dark nondescript sedan (I think about the size of a Ford Taurus) came out of nowhere & bashed into the front of my car! I was ready to hurt someone- I love my big old car! Before I could get there, the driver backed up & hit my car again & again. I suddenly realized that my car didn’t even budge when she was hit. There was a tiny wrinkle on a front fender from the impact, but that was all. The other car kept ramming into the front of my car, & that other car was getting smaller & smaller as the front end was being crushed more & more with each impact. I was absolutely amazed & rather amused- whoever this person was that was so determined to hurt me was destroying their own car in an attempt to do so. My car was barely phased, their sedan however was totaled. The hood was crushed to probably 1/4 of its normal size, engine fluids were leaking all over the place- the car was a total loss. It made me laugh at the stupidity of the driver, & then I woke up.

I asked God what this dream meant & He showed me it had a two-fold meaning.

First, there are people who think I need to be a better daughter to my parents, & will not hesitate to use guilt trips or manipulation in an attempt to make this happen. My parents’ flying monkeys, as the term goes. God showed me that they are much like that little sedan- so determined to make their point heard, they will hurt themselves if need be. So long as I stand strong (like my car did) with God & in what I know is the truth, however, they cannot hurt me. This goes for you too, Dear Reader! All of us children of narcissists have had the “pleasure” of a flying monkey or two. Remember the message of this dream-stand strong with God & the truth, & they cannot hurt you.

Second, this dream was also related to my recent post “Who To Talk To?” In it, I mentioned how some people close to you will not care to hear anything about how your parents abused you, or about the problems you still have from being abused. God showed me that if I continue trying to seek validation from these people, I will be like the little sedan- beaten & wounded, while those other people will be like my car- still standing strong & barely even noticing me. The lesson is there is no point in discussing those issues with certain people. It’s overstepping boundaries- what they think, believe & feel is their business, not mine- plus they have made up their mind not to hear me anyway. Why should I frustrate & hurt myself in an attempt to gain the validation they are determined not to give? Some people you just can’t discuss certain subjects with, & I have to accept that. You need to accept it as well, Dear Reader. While it’s certainly normal & understandable to want validation, especially by those closest to you, some people just won’t give it. If you wish to remain in relationship with them, accept that fact, & no longer discuss certain topics with them.

Hi, reading the story of your dream I started smiling halfway because I realized it meant exactly what I’ve discovered about dealing with a narcissistic MIL the past two years since she moved in with us. At first I didn’t know how to deal with her but then I started researching every trick manipulators come up with, enabling myself to spot every trick for what it is. Since all manipulative people WILL accuse you, I decided to walk the straight and narrow and nothing else. This robbed her of ammunition, forcing her to lie or exaggerate accusations, which other loved ones started seeing it as lies. I also started naming the game. Like “Nope, not gonna help to guilt trip me,” or “Don’t make decisions on my behalf,” and later even “Come on, don’t tell me you don’t know how to behave anymore. You are an adult and you do know the difference between right and wrong. You do know that it is wrong to gossip, lie, meddle, scream, humiliate,” etc. And I’ve seen people who used to believe everything she said, turning away from her over time. She redusced from an aggressive person physically pushing me around, to someone who nags while no one takes her seriously anymore. It is tough, but if you stay in the Lord, you can defeat the enemy.

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