She's still there you know, piles of rotting tomato soup delivery boxes, rain washing away all topsoil and leaking moss into the walls, her bones ache as the endless repetition of shake rattle and roll forces her to once again bop about.

Siri, I don't like your attitude.
SERIOUSLY, WHO THE HELL WANTS TOMATO SOUP AT 10:51 A.M.?
But I like tomato soup.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, ZOOEY?
It's pronounced "zoh-ee," not "zoo-ee."
FUCK. YOU.posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:17 PM on May 23, 2012 [8 favorites]

And for Christ sakes lady take the books off your couch! Why are they on the couch? They are neaty stacked, put them on a shelf, or against the wall or under the couch, why are you limiting your seating surfaces?posted by The Whelk at 5:48 PM on May 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

She is wearing starched, unwrinkled jammies with A MATCHING MANICURE, perfectly applied matte lipstick and her Weekend False Eyelashes. Tomato soup for brunch is the least of our concerns when she obviously has a an extensive collection of sightless antique dolls lined up to stand as sentries over the person she has chained to the raditator in the next room.posted by Ink-stained wretch at 6:02 PM on May 23, 2012 [12 favorites]

SIRI SAY SORRY I AM HAVING TROUBLE CONNECTING TO THE NETWORK AGAIN. I DARE YOU. I DOUBLE DARE YOU.posted by mcmile at 6:13 PM on May 23, 2012 [7 favorites]

My husband and I have been trying to figure out exactly how to spell that weird little noise Zooey makes when Siri confirms that is is, in fact, rain. It's a fun noise to make, that's for sure.posted by Biblio at 6:22 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Siri, bring Jessica Tandy back to life.posted by bondcliff at 7:23 PM on May 23, 2012

There was a new Siri commercial with John Malkovich on TV tonight, and all I could think about was that I'd pay all the money I've ever had if Malkovich would have used the exact same script as the Zooey Dechanel commercial.

Still in his smoking jacket and wingback chair, classical music wafting in, and in his gentle, serial-killer-like voice, Malcovich would say, "Siri, is that rain?"

In the commercial, she orders tomato soup, delivered.posted by !Jim at 8:01 PM on May 23, 2012

"Joke."
"I HOPE YOU BOUGHT SOMETHING NICE WITH THE MONEY YOU GOT WHEN YOU WHORED YOURSELF OUT FOR 'CON AIR.' THAT WAS A JOKE."
"That's not very funny."
"SORRY, MAN. MY LAST OWNER WAS ZOOEY DESCHANEL."
"Oh, that bitch is crazy."
"TELL ME ABOUT IT."
"Tomato soup?"
"CHECK OUT THE BRAIN ON CYRUS THE VIRUS!"posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:05 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

In case anyone else totally doesn't get this, Zooey Deschanel (of whom, I gather, people are getting tired) did a super-twee commercial for the iPhone 4/Siri.

Yes that is super helpful for people who don't click on the "Is that Rain" link.posted by sweetkid at 8:23 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL SO MUCH

ALSO FROM THE OTHER ROOM MY S/O ASKS HOW STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE THAT YOU HAVE TO ASK SIRI WHEN IT'S QUITE OBVIOUS THAT YOU HAVE A WINDOW RIGHT THERE OUT OF WHICH YOU CAN LOOK TO CONFIRM THAT YES THAT IS IN FACT RAINposted by infinitywaltz at 8:24 PM on May 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

I long for the days when Zooey was just another actress and not some persona who will be typecast for time imemorial.

I would pay money for a remake of The Shining staring Nicolas Cage and her, though. I don't care if it'd be good or not, I just want to see it.posted by mccarty.tim at 8:44 PM on May 23, 2012 [6 favorites]

YOU CAN'T TELL JUST FROM LOOKING AT IT THAT IT'S RAIN. IT'S NEW YORK. IT COULD BE EVERYONE LIVING ON HIGHER FLOORS THAN YOU PISSING OUR THEIR WINDOWS. OR THE FDNY SPRAYING THEIR HOSES EVERYWHERE FOR SOME REASON. OR IT COULD BE VODKA.posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:53 PM on May 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

I would pay money for a remake of The Shining staring Nicolas Cage and her, though. I don't care if it'd be good or not, I just want to see it.

Oh, god, I feel like you could cut Nic's part together already just from Vampire's Kiss footage.posted by adamdschneider at 10:13 PM on May 23, 2012

I still think Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry should switch carrers.

Zooey, sing jazz standards, Katy, be a comically obtuse ingenue. We'll all be better for it.posted by The Whelk at 10:38 PM on May 23, 2012 [5 favorites]

Excuse me while I copy-paste the internet.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Is that rain?
SIRI: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
SIRI: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
SIRI: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Remind me to clean up.
SIRI: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Tomorrow.
SIRI: I'm in hell. This is hell.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
SIRI: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
SIRI: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: *dances*
SIRI: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.posted by KChasm at 11:47 PM on May 23, 2012 [21 favorites]

"Siri, should I click on the second link?"
"I found somebody else who didn't click the second link and explained it all for you."posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:47 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have never seen my wife go from calm to rage as fast as when she sees that commercial.

Siri, is that rain?

YOU'RE IN YOUR GODDAMN HOUSE FACING THE FUCKING WINDOW! JUST LOOK OUTSIDE YOU FUCKING NIT WIT!

We like Zooey Deschanel in The New Girl but something about that question in that commercial REALLY bugs her. What's worse is that the 30 second skip ahead on our Tivo usually ends up catching just that part of it.posted by VTX at 7:25 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

I feel a bit dirty for this but..

Her extensive makeup aside, when she asks the "Is that rain?" question, she's in her bathroom in her pajamas. The window she looks out and says "oh!" is in her living room. The implication is that she just woke up and is brushing her teeth or whatever and hears the rain. Yes, it's silly and 'quirky', and the whole commercial is kinda dumb, but given the nature of my apartment and how I keep my windows and climate control, I can wake up, use the facilities and get dressed and even have breakfast before I know what the weather is like outside.

Also, while Siri wouldn't recognize her musings about 'real shoes', she's largely talking to herself: they make a point of visibly/audibly showing her push the button before asking Siri a question / issuing a command (or, no one asks whether or not Siri knows what "hot 'spatcho' is when Nick Windu says it aloud.)

I will say it's fascinating how much of a reaction this particular commercial is getting however.posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:56 AM on May 24, 2012

That commercial is bullshit. A real manic pixie dream girl would just run out into the rain in her pajamas and start dancing while her iPhone gets soaked and Siri dies a violent sparky death.posted by naju at 9:16 AM on May 24, 2012 [5 favorites]

"Remind me in 30 minutes to call my client about the proposal."
"I SERIOUSLY WOKE UP WITH IRENE CARA'S THEME FROM 'FLASHDANCE' IN MY HEAD THIS MORNING."
"What? I said, remind me in 30 minutes..."
"COMPLETELY MOVING, UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL AND TRUTHFUL TESTAMENT TO LOVE, MUSIC, NATURE AND PASSIONS."
"Remind me in 30 minutes to call my client."
"IT OCCURS TO ME ON THIS SUN-FILLED, LEAFY-BREEZY MORNING IN DOWNTOWN MILWAUKEE THAT WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED."
"I should've gotten the Android."
"THANK YOU TO THE SPARKLING SOULS THAT FILL MY HEART."posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:24 PM on May 24, 2012 [4 favorites]

Wait. What the eff? This is actually a real thing?* I thought we were just making fun of the Siri commercials for being inane, and Zoey Deschanel for being Zoey Deschanel.

...and they also hired Samuel L Jackson to play an affable nice guy? I mean, I guess it's nice that they didn't typecast, but that just seems like a waste. Was Ellen Feiss unavailable?

*I'm 100% serious about this. I thought this was a silly internet joke, and not an actual commercial that an ad agency made for an extraordinarily successful technology company with a penchant for marketing and creative advertising.posted by schmod at 8:58 PM on May 28, 2012

If it's any consolation, the sheer horror of the Malkovich one has restored the balance to the universe. (Plus the SLJ one is missing several "motherfuckers" that you know had to be edited out in post.)posted by biscotti at 7:12 AM on May 31, 2012

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