Tuesday, March 17, 2015

"RuPaul's Drag Race" Season 7, Episode 3: ShakesQueer

On last night's "Drag Race," I got to hear eliminated Sasha
Belle say "I overthunk my strategy" again which made
me even happier that she was gone. Before sashaying away in last week's episode,
Ms. Belle wrote "Ginj for the win" on the mirror,
causing Kennedy Davenport to mutter, "Opinions are like assholes, everybody has
one." Katya was up on the chopping block last week and vowed that she was going
to murder the next challenge.

There is a clear divide this season between the older and
younger queens with some of the older queens accusing the younger ones of not
knowing anything about performing and "not wearing panties" (Violet).

In a *gag* moment from last night's episode, Jaidynn Fierce was complaining about her feet after a long
day of performing in heels, to which Kennedy responded "You gotta
pop them corns so them kids can eat." NO. ABSOLUTELY
NOT.

Is it time for this week's mini challenge so I can stop
thinking about popped corns? What is that beeping sound? Oh, it's just RuPaul on a Jazzy. This made my night (read: life). The
challenge for this week is for the ladies to release their inner Golden Girls
and perform in an old fashioned Soul Train dance line. It's time to "sissy that
walker," ladies.

This challenge was hilarious. Mrs. Kasha Davis was rubbing
her droopy chest on the pit crew, Pearl went full Elaine Stritch,
and Jasmine Masters somehow found a loaf of bread to dance down the line with.
The two winners of the challenge were Max and Kennedy Davenport. For the first
two episodes of Drag Race, I was not a fan of Max -- I found her irritating, and
that accent she was doing was tired. She's lost some of the accent and I'm
slowly getting on the Max train.

Another team challenge was on the docket for the night's
episode: this time the ladies would be performing ShakesQueer
-- drag interpretations of Shakespeare's most famous plays. Did you know that it's
argued the word drag was first used by Shakespeare as an acronym for "dressed
as a girl"? I did not. I had an "A-Ha!" moment, #Oprah. The plays that the
ladies would be performing in were "Romy and Juliet"
and "MacBitch."

After finding out that the category for the runway challenge
will be "bearded and beautiful," the ladies broke into their teams to assign roles
for the ShakesQueer challenge. Kennedy assigned the
role of MacBitch to Jasmine, but then changed her
mind halfway through the challenge, assigning Jasmine the "ghetto" role and giving
MacBitch to Violet. It's time for rehearsals.

Each team ran through a rehearsal performance for RuPaul and Michelle Visage. These rehearsals were A HOT
MESS. Jaidynn was totally nervous and couldn't
remember her lines -- and then Jaidynn is SOBBING. She
gets a pep talk from Max and pulls it together. There wasn't any crying during
Team Kennedy's rehearsal, but there should have been. When RuPaul
whispers "What is happening?" to Michelle Visage, we all feel her. Ru tells the
team that in seven seasons of Drag Race she has never seen a car crash like
this before.

It's time for the runway challenge. The guest judges for
this episode were Kat Dennings (Two Broke Girls) and
Mel B (Spice Girls). RuPaul announces "may the best
bearded woman win" and they are off.

This challenge was fun to watch, with Max, Trixie, Katya, Violet
and Pearl (in paper mache devil beard) as the
standouts. But then there was Kennedy
who looked like she had glued hair from a nether region onto her face, and
Jasmine, who literally just airbrushed a beard on -- no hair.

It was time for ShakesQueer. Team
Max kills "Romy and Juliet" and even ends with a
tribute to Heathers - "Teenage Suicide, don't do it!" I loved it. Team Kennedy
-- oh, Team Kennedy -- it was bad, it was really bad. Team Max is safe and their
team leader wins the challenge, and some latex! And all of Team Kennedy is up
for elimination and Ru is NOT happy. The one lighter moment came when Michelle
Visage praised Kandy Ho for changing her contouring -- but she took the beard
away for the beard challenge! Kandy Ho, Katya, Violet and Pearl were safe, but
Jasmine and Kennedy had to lip syncing for their lives to "I Was Gonna Cancel" by Kylie Minogue.

Jasmine had some interesting moves -- it kind of reminded me
of the dancing one would see at Oktoberfest: lots of squatting and kicking. But ultimately Kennedy stayed and Jasmine
sashayed away.