It works analogies to the point of abuse, it’s weirdly misogynistic (especially given it was written by a woman), and the muddled story it’s trying to tell falls down somewhere after its first ten descriptions of obscure medical conditions and never manages to scramble back to the same heights – rendering it a less fun read than 101 Bone Diseases That Could Kill You Tomorrow.

I’m not promising this review will be any better, of course. But I’m pretty confident it couldn’t be worse.

Who writes this nonsense?

It's me. Mell. I do. Hello.

I love stories. Books, films, comics, particularly indepth board games, inappropriate anecdotes overheard at the chemist - I love them all.
And I love writing stories.Which isn't the same as being good at it.
But analysing what makes a story seems as good a way to learn as any.
Join me as I inexpertly insult famed and published authors, and work out how to write something that's not just nonsense.