I said no...because when I started dating my boyfriend I didn't really think "oh, he'd make a great husband" I just really liked him. It was after a while that I grew to realize that he would make a really good husband and I'm really glad that we're dating because he's not only really fun and very wonderful to have around now, he's someone I can see in my future--but that came after.

I guess that no matter what, people look for some certain attributes in a significant other that do translate to what one would want in a spouse, but people who don't have marriage on their mind or don't want to get married at all may see the more immediate needs in a boyfriend/girlfriend--a good companion, or someone who's fun to be around, or whatever.

Back in the days when I was dating (god..I detest writing that), if I didn't see long term compatibility the relationship would end*. Sometimes you could tell after a few dates and sometimes it took longer, but once I knew she wasn't long term material it was over. I was never one to date for datings sake (excepting high school of course..dances, proms, etc.). It didn't seem smart to me to continue on with someone that I knew wouldn't be right for the long run. Therefore I always had the qualities of a future wife in mind when I was on the prowl for a date.

*sometimes the girl would end it first though, and crush my widdle heart.

I answered no because I feel that when I start dating someone, I'm looking for a lot less. Someone that I can spend time with alone, fun loving ect. Someone that I can start to get to know for a while. Dating, but when I first met them, I wasn't looking at the long list that I have for a long term relationship.

Once I have gotten to know them after the start of a relationship, then I can look for the traits I need in a long-term situation. If I went in with the intention of looking for those traits I probably wouldn't find them, as most of the traits people look for in a long term relationship don't show up right away. They come later, after people have gotten comfortable. These traits, they're discovered in my opinion.

I guess I start with a short list, and then after while, I pull out the longer one. I agree with libra. She started out with the "I really like him" and then came the "I could see myself becoming married." Its only after a while that you can probe deeper and discover the true nature of the person.

I agree with Libra too, with these things you kind of just get carried away with the moment, you meet someone you like but it's only after you start having a relationship with them do you really get to know them.

Also Christophes reply made me smile, i can imagine him walking through a night club with vision like the terminators, homing in on the women checking their characteristics.

mat_j said:
>I agree with Libra too, with these things you kind of just get carried away with the moment, you meet someone you like but it's only after you start having a relationship with them do you really get to know them.
>
>Also Christophes reply made me smile, i can imagine him walking through a night club with vision like the terminators, homing in on the women checking their characteristics.
>
>Face-Match
>Breast size (proportionate)- Match
>Child baring hips- match
>Bodily odour- mismatch
>
>Terminate with extreme prejudice!!

Aww, thanks! It's actually from a year ago Christmas. We go to Florida every year. That's my sister with me. Also, it's good to be back. I'm still busy with school, but I can check in every now and again.

When I start being interested in someone I begin to look for the characteristics of someone I want to be with for a long time. I'm not looking to get married any time soon, but i don't want to waste my time with someone that in the end won't be everything I want in a husband.

beetlebum said:
>mat_j said:
>>I agree with Libra too, with these things you kind of just get carried away with the moment, you meet someone you like but it's only after you start having a relationship with them do you really get to know them.
>>
>>Also Christophes reply made me smile, i can imagine him walking through a night club with vision like the terminators, homing in on the women checking their characteristics.
>>
>>Face-Match
>>Breast size (proportionate)- Match
>>Child baring hips- match
>>Bodily odour- mismatch
>>
>>Terminate with extreme prejudice!!
>
>LOL! That is spot on. Aw, Christophe.