AIBU to get rid of the cleaner

She is relatively new to me after having had a great girl who got to know exactly how i liked things done. I spent 2 days with the new cleaner showing her how i liked things done and have also explained things i have been not completely happy with since in a conversational way.

The new girl is a 40 yo mum of three who has been to me four times. She is ok as a cleaner (hard to match the last one who was brilliant but moved abroad).

On her last 3 visits she has:

Scratched the aga by cleaning it with a brillo padBroken 2 windows by forcing them open (they are turn and tilt) costing me €100 to get fixed.Today forced open my curtains without using the pully system so they now wont open or close. I will now have to get this fixed also.

She is a really nice girl but just seems to have no respect for my house or stuff.

I saw her going at the aga with the metal and showed her where it was scratching but the other two 'incidents' i discovered after she had left.

AIBU to just get rid of her before she does anymore damage or should i try and have a conversation about treating things with respect and not forcing things just asking if she is unsure?

I let it slide. She was only there that day to fill in for someone else, so wasn't coming back again.

You don't need to justify having a cleaner. I've always had one because I used to work 12 hr days, then when I finally became pg with DS after 2 miscarriages no way was I going to risk anything. I see it as buying 2 precious hours of time.

oriunda what did you do? Did you challenge her? Or let it slide? I have had small mishaps with my previous cleaning lady but only everyday or small issues.

Thanks Eddielizzard. I had the surgery in 2006 but any heavy lifting or too much working and bending causes me to have to stop everything for a few days hence a cleaner to really give the place a going over so i can just keep it tidy and pop a broom over the hard floors in between. I was very used to the restrictions from my back but have had a bit of a wobble since pregnant as they are worried about the weight later on! As a result of the previous surgery I have to have the baby under general anaesthetic but thats a whole other thread........

Thanks Jinty. She does only do the hoovering, floor mopping and skirting boards and hoovers the sofa and does the bathrooms etc. Opening Windows and curtains has caused the damage

My own mum goes for a walk and then coffee with the girls every Friday and she is 65 years young. I also have a group known as the girlsontour Now i know it is offensive to some i will refrain from using it about ladies that are not friends.

Helza that is exactly what i did only i obviously showing her how to open the windows and curtains it's not a mistake i will make again i am cross with myself as the only reason the curtains are still closed is that my 2yo nephew is staying and was in a rush to come down stairs and see the dog for breakfast!--

Thanks Jupiter i will investigate. I am not sure if Gumtree covers Ireland.......

Maybe some of the reason i am canvassing opinion is also that i am 5 months pregnant so worry myself about my own sometimes hormonal reasoning at the current time!

I think that when you come to hiring the next cleaner you need to go round with them and tell them how things work and how you'd like everything done. Then you have grounds,if they don't do it right, to dismiss them.

Don't feel guilty. I consider cleaning to be a profession (I would of course ) and I have done my research. There are lots of surfaces that can't be cleaned with 'everyday' products e.g natural stone, unsealed wood etc. A 'professional cleaner will know that you can't use a brillo on certain metals and that a brush on a ceiling will leave marks. Some might say its common sense but one of my own cleaners tried cleaning my antique writing desk with spray bleach!! I am also insured. A good place to look for a cleaner is gumtree.

OP - I once had such a lady who started at mine. Similarly heave handed. She put Harpic on my toilet seat & lid which are made of hard white plastic & not ceramic - and left it to soak! It turned blue with streaks that wouldn't go (ie stained). I live in a rental so it caused me enough stress that I let her go. Now 1 year later the stains are fading with constant cleaning.

There are other cleaners who could work to your style, just need to go through the trouble of finding them.

Somersetlady .this is exactly the place to come to canvas opinion. AIBU can be a bit harsh but if you just let those ones wash over you then you may will get some helpful advice.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the term "girl". My late mother used to have coffee with the girls and most of them were in their 80's and 90's. the also met for a "girls" lunch. I refer to the "girls in the office" at work and they range in age from 20 to 62.

What do you really need the cleaner to do. Could you just get her to do bathrooms, hoovering etc. and give guidance on the other things as she goes along? I realise this is not ideal especially in your situation and you may have to let her go.

I've had several cleaners and only once has something been broken (a new woman the agency sent who snapped a photo frame, I saw her do it and quietly put it down without mentioning it). Yours has done quite a bit of damage. If she was from an agency then I'd imagine there'd be insurance to claim off but sounds like she's not so I would in your case let her go. Try and find someone else who comes with references or use an agency that will have insurance to cover any damages.

My cleaner has been with me for over 2 years. She's not agency (but I used one whilst she was off on maternity leave) but does several people I know so is totally trustworthy.

Ignore the snippy comments. Nothing wrong with employing a cleaner. They are providing a service and you are giving them employment. Both of you benefit.

I thought an anonymous online forum would be the perfect place to talk about 'domestic staffing issues' as the woman is local and i dont want to badmouth her to anyone else that might avail of, and be totally happy with, her services or that might happen to be her friend or have DCs that are friendly with her DCs as i just don't think that would be fair on her.

Apologies as I have obviously misunderstood the whole point of a public forum. There was i thinking it could be used to garner a variety of opinions from a wide circle of people who might be able to make me consider my own behaviour to a challenging situation. I consider myself corrected.

I think you've no choice but to get rid of her before she does any more damage. If I ever have a cleaner again which isn't very likely I'd probably go through an agency. Far easier to change if you get somebody unsuitable for one reason or another. So it's worth the extra I think.

Yanbu to let her go as if she carries on like this you won't have a house left. I am not sure why you feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers though - she's broken two windows, a curtain pulley system and scratched your cooker. Enough already.

YABU for calling her a 'girl' It's a ridiculous label for a 40 year old woman.