Tuesday, 13 December 2016

How do I evaluate myself #31DaysBloggingChallenge

According to Google, evaluate means judge, assess, rate, estimate, etc. Talking about how do I evaluate myself, I would love to highlight the word 'effort' instead of 'achievement' here. Why effort? Why not achievement?

Somebody once asked this to me.. "you know why you give up or feel down about sth so easily?" and I asked back, "was that because I lack of being grateful to Allah?" and then she answered, "Because you care too much on your achievement rather than appreciating your own effort"

Achievement is based on your effort. Your endeavor. Your effort is based on how you would wish it to be. Whether it will just be so-so, excellent or vice versa. One thing people should realize is that effort might satisfy you at the end but in certain times or situations, effort might also make you feel unsatisfied at the same time. What should us be worried about if there's dissatisfaction on our effort? Rezeki.

Allah knows best. Hold on to this principle. Then you'll realize you have nothing in this world without His power. I believe Allah has the best plan for each human being. It is only matter of timing. Do not blame yourself if your achievement is not as excellent as your effort does. Allah might save the best for you for some other times ☺

I evaluate myself based on my effort and then I leave the rest to Allah. My effort is always not as good as others who are always trying their very best on getting best results. However, that's not sth that bothers me that much. I understand myself.. very well. If I really have a passion on sth, I'll make sure I try my best to achieve that passion. But even if I lose passion on sth, I'll make sure to have a satisfying outcome after all.

I look like I'm not trying my best at sth but I ended up proving myself I can perform better than that. I look like I'm so lazy to do revision and prefer sleeping over studying but I actually taking leisure time before struggling myself in burning the midnight oil. I look like someone who has no talent in everything but has anyone notice my strengths? People keep on looking down on me telling me what's so good having great position but ended up not doing my best in studies? But have they saw me trying so hard doing revision at the very end corner of library alone almost everyday? People sometimes say that I am no good to be born as a leader but how can you say that when you are not at the state of worried, panic and also sad to be chosen as a leader? You, people. You are not in the situation to say those things.

If I have to make a judgement about myself, it would all based on effort. Effort that will satisfy myself. Even if others are not satisfy with it, I'm okay. I know I did great. Even if my great is not in the same level as yours but I don't mind. I know with the effort I put in myself, I can do better than you expected. I can perform better which is beyond your expectation. I acknowledge my skills and passion. Even if that's not convincing in your eyes, I will always remind myself not to be proud of myself until I get myself being able to convince people around me.

I am someone who would sacrifice my basic knowledge and choose passion instead. Sacrificing knowledge you learnt for a long time is not an easy decision to do guys but I've made it anyway. My effort leads me this way. For me, nothing is difficult unless your unwillingness are high up there. Lower it down and go through it. Protect your future with your decision. Not with insincerity. To work with a sincerity is to work with a passion on it. You gotta be strong even if there' is such a heavy task to do, you can surely complete it no matter what. That's the combination of effort and passion.

I get used to teamwork since young. I have the courage to go to an interview and being able to be listed as a prefect, as an exco, a scholar.. everything requires effort. My effort tells me to work hard and be determined until I succeeded. Succeed till the end. Not halfway. Not even a quarter. No matter how hard it is, how troublesome I would be, it does not matter as long as I achieve my target. I'll get used to it anyway. Teamwork is essential in working days. How can I not wish myself to have that kind of experience? It is all about effort and how you get through it. It's true that nobody's perfect but effort proves you that you might not be perfect but you can be someone that is almost perfect.

I live with errors here and there but that does not matter because I am someone who learn from mistake. My effort teaches me not to feel down when you got 0 on test because you'll work hard with double effort later on. Yes, that's so true. Double effort. Early mistakes is nothing because you will end up completing everything with satisfying outcomes. Everytime I need to get my work done, I would never be afraid of mistakes because I know I've done my best already and if there's mistake, I will surely learn from it, and correct it or make a better one. Despite of having lots of personal problems in mind, I still be able to focus on sth which needs me to be the centre of attraction. I did my best and I appreciate my effort for trying my best at it. This is my effort. My effort is the keywords, the main thing that I use to evaluate myself.

I dislike it when someone disses me saying I'm so not into this or that.. saying I am not trying my best like they are currently in my shoes experiencing what I feel, understand my thoughts and perceptions I have in my mind and so on. Like what I've said, I know myself. If that's what you think what can I do? I would never waste my time to explain everything and beg for your understanding. Last but not least, appreciate your effort and let Allah do the rest.