(Closed) Crazy Waiting Lady

So, I have posted a few times about driving myself crazy with this whole waiting process. My boyfriend and I are both 24, have been together for about 5.5 years and living together for just over 2 of those years. We both know we want to get married and my boyfriend is planning on proposing sometime soon.

We first (seriously) talked about marriage about a year ago. We have known for a long time that we want to be married, but never really talked about logistics or when. Anyway, at that point he said he’d like to propose in 6 months or so. He spoke with his parents about it and generously offered to pay for the engagement ring since he’s in school now and will be in school for the next 3 years. At that point, he kind of stopped moving forward with actually getting engaged…and I started to drive myself crazy over the subject.

A few weeks ago (over the 4th of July) we had a long talk/crying session (on my part) about why it’s important to me that we take this next step in our relationship. He usually gets angry/defensive when I bring up getting engaged, but during that talk he really seemed to try to understand me…and he did. He told me it is going to happen very soon. Since then, he’s made various comments about getting engaged soon, etc., which he never really did before.

Two weeks ago he told me he was “going home for the weekend.” This is odd for him, even though his family only lives 2 hours away. I asked why and he gave me really vague, sketchy answers. I was confused, but just let it go (I had a feeling this might have something to do with our engagement, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up). I was especially thinking this because I asked if he wanted me to come (he always wants me to come) and he said no.

So, the day before he was supposed to go home, he got a phone call from his mom. Her brother (his uncle) attemped suicide (long story) and obviously, she had to go be with him. She told him not to come up the next day. Later that day, he ended up telling me that he was planning to go up the following day to look at engagement rings with his mom. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.

Two days later (his uncle is going to be OK!), we left for a trip to Ireland and have been gone until yesterday. During the trip, he made several comments about how he wished he had a ring because it would have been a wonderful place to propose and all of that.

I was living on cloud 9. Thinking, finally, THIS IS IT! But now, we’re back, and when I asked him what he wanted to do this weekend (hoping he’d say he was going home), he just said “oh, nothing. I want to relax.”

I don’t want to push him, but WHY was he so insistent on going to shop for rings 2 weeks ago and now NOTHING!? Even after such a wonderful vacation together?

He always does this – takes 1 step forward, then takes 2 steps back. How do I get him back to the place where he was ready to buy the ring the next day? I don’t want to be pushy, because that is what frustrates him, but C’MON buddy! What are you waiting for?

@nber0815: Sorry to hear that this happened! First, I’m glad to know your SO’s uncle is okay. How scary! But I can totally relate to you on the 1 step forward, 2 steps back thing. My SO is the same way (though he is really like 1 step forward, 5 steps back) and it can be tough. I think the only thing you can do is let him be for now. He wanted to propose and he had a plan, but it was unfortunately interrupted by unforeseen circumstances. I would guess he will want to try to come up with another surprise place to do the proposal, since he was so focused on the vacation proposal. And, until he does, you may be waiting a little bit longer than you’d like. I say, keep your chin up – the proposal is coming!

He might really be into the “moment” of it. That is so exciting! Let him do his thing!

I’m getting a formal proposal this christmas, after I meet his parents. Please note – Fiance and I have booked a venue. I’ve bought a dress. We signed with a photographer. We have a guest list. We are engaged.

He has himself WILD about the perfect way to do it. And he’s nervous about it. What does he think, that I’m going to say no?