Since all the recipes here involve possum, I figured it might be worth it
to include a section on how to get your hands on one.

I know of several ways to catch a possum. Perhaps the easiest is to
simply drive around for a while in your truck. The problem will soon
resolve itself.
(SCCRRRREEEEEEECCHHH!!. . . SPLAT. . .)

Much more fun, however, is to take your dogs and shotgun, and go into the
woods and hunt one down. The advantage to this method is that you don't
have to scrape the possum off the pavement. The disadvantage is that you
do have to worry about shotgun pellets in the meat.
(OUCH! Dadgum it! There went my best tooth!)
Not to mention that a shotgun blast can really mess up the hide, which
makes it a lot harder for the taxidermist.

It is also possible to set traps to catch a possum, but this method is
notoriously unreliable. Possums like to stay in the trees, and you're
much more likely to catch something else.
(Hey, Ed! There's something in the trap! See them bushes moving? Let's see
what it is! . . . OH, $#&@! IT'S A SKUNK!!)

Another thing you might want to take into consideration is that possums are scavengers. They eat
anything. If a possum is in the road, chances are he's there looking for lunch. Therefore, it's
best to catch them alive if at all possible and feed them corn for a few days to clean them out
real good before eating them. You just don't know whose garbage they've been into. After all, you
wouldn't want to eat something that's been eating Aunt Edna's leftovers, would you? You know,
she's the one who brings that stuff that nobody ever touches to the family reunion.(Hey, man,
what IS that stuff? I think it's still alive!)

Possums are also notoriously hard to kill, and they, well, play possum if they feel
threatened. (That's why they're called possums!) I remember hearing about someone who had a possum
get in his garage one time. He was real mad about something, and having a possum
rooting around in his garage making a mess just
made it worse, so he took after that thing with a shovel. The possum
never had a chance. He did have to chop its head off to make sure it was
dead; otherwise they just get up and walk off. It was real strange;
right after he beheaded the possum, lightning or something struck the
garage, blowing out all the lightbulbs and giving him quite a shock. (If
you don't get the joke here, don't worry.)

Please note that we're talking about the North American opossum
here. There is a species of possum (spelled without the leading "o") native to Australia which is
endangered. It is strictly illegal to hunt, trap, or kill an Australian possum. However, this same
species is reportedly a nuisance in New Zealand, so if you see one there. . . bon appetit!

Of course, if you take this page seriously anyway... you might be a
redneck.

Preparation:
The possum must be alive so that you can scare it, giving you the "wild"
taste from all the adrenaline it produces. It is best to hit it over the
head with a large object in a humane manner. Boil the possum for 3
minutes to loosen the fur then skin and gut it.
De-limb (chop the little knubby legs off) the possum and cut the meat
into 1/2 inch square chunks.
Marinate overnight in a mixture of meat marinade and soy sauce. Kentucky
residents who have no fridge can use an ice chest and may use radiator
coolant instead of soy sauce.
Thread the meat and veggies onto your skewer/stick in alternating
sequences to distribute the delicious flavor evenly.
Cook over a barbecue, pit, 50 gallon drum or any other fire till you
get the desired result. For added flavor, you can cook it over burning
tires.

Directions: First, catch a possum. This in itself is excellent
entertainment on a
moonlight night. Skin the possum and remove the head and feet. Be sure
to wash it thoroughly. Freeze overnight either outside or in a
refrigerator.
When ready to cook, peel the potatoes and boil them tender in lightly
salted water along with the butter and sugar. At the same time, stew the
possum tender in a tightly covered pan with a little water. Arrange the
taters around the possum, strip with bacon, sprinkle with thyme or
marjoram, or pepper, and brown in the oven. Baste often with the drippings.

Directions:
Cover a pan (or any implement you can put in a fire) with the bottom of
your pie crust, and place the possum in it. Add the huckleberries and
carrots,
and shred the cabbage over it. Close up the pie and bake until the
neighbors' dogs come sniffing around to see what the wonderful smell is,
or until the fire department arrives (whichever comes first). Remove
pie from fire/oven, slice, and enjoy.----this recipe provided by Anthony Trummert

Directions:
Slice green peppers and mix ingredients in a large bowl(exclude possum).
Cut possum into chunks or thin strips. Mix possum chunks into bowl.
Transfer contents of bowl into a casserole dich and bake under 350
degrees for two hours. Remove from oven, let sit for half an hour, and
serve. ENJOY!!----This recipe provided by Ryan Hayes

Ingredients:
two cans of tomatoe sauce
three cans of cooked tomatoes
1/2 thickly sliced warthog meat(mainly for flavor)
a big bag of pasta noodles (any redneck kind will do)
salt and pepper
1/2 possum (other 1/2 can be used for breakfast possum-omlettes)

Directions:
Fry bacon in big gramma kettle, over mid. size fire, then fry possum
in the grease till golden brown. Take the meat out, then add enough water
to pot to fill 2/3 way and then boil noodles. Once cooked add both
things of tomatoes to kettle and meat and add enough salt and pepper to
old granny's taste. Cook all together for a bout 1 hour simmering
over low fire to sautee.
Bone Appa Teet.
--Anonymous (But not the same one who wrote "Primary Colors")

Chop up everything (be sure to skin the 'dillo) set it on the fire
(or
stove, if ya wanna be fancy) let it boil until the dogs howl. Eat with
regard
to the bones and serve with cheese (not green) and more onions. This is
actually a recipe my cousins taught me how to cook. It is actually edible.
---Submitted by Scarlett Lee Moody (luminary@etal.com)

Ingredients:
Tomatoe Sauce (depends on possum)
1 tsp.-1 cup Chili Powder (Depends on Taste and possum)
1 Large possum or 3 small
(If you ran over the possums better make it 4)
1 large pot or two large ones if the first isn't enough.
5-10 chili peppers (depends on taste and possum)
5-10 red peppers (depends on taste and possum)
5-10 jalapenio peppers (depends on taste and possum)
How ever much Cayenne Pepper you like, it depends on your taste and possum.
1 tsp. Black Pepper
a pinch of salt
Chili Beans for extra flavor
And whatever other ingredients that are hot and spicy you would like to add.

Directions:
1. Skin possum(s)
2. Remove internal organs, head, claws, and bones. There is no flavor or
use for these. But if you want to add them, go ahead.
3. Put some tomatoe sauce in the pot(s). Then add the possum.
4. Chop peppers
5. Skip step four if you don't want chopped peppers; it doesn't matter.
6. Put the rest in and let set for a long dang while.
7. Before serving make sure you have enough bread, Milk, and Toliet paper
for after dinner.
8. Serve. Enjoy
9. Race for bathroom. Whoever is first will make a large stench. Have enough air freshner.

Serving size of Meal-depends on how much you put in and the possum.

Warning-You're a redneck if you try this. (Either that or you like really hot
chili.) May cause sudden urges to go to the bathroom. May cause burnt
tongues and mouths. May cause severe indegestion.---Anonymous

1. Kill a possum by Method #1 as described above.
2. Sprinkle liberally with salt, pepper, and garlic. Some folks also
like onion.
3. Run over it one more time to mix the spices in thoroughly.
4. Contact your mental health professional and inform him of what you're
about to do.

Serving size: Depends on the possum
Servings per container: Depends on the possum
Amount per serving:Depends on the possum
Calories: Depends on the possum
Total fat: At least three times the U.S. RDA.
Sodium: Depends on the possum
Total carbohydrate: Depends on the possum
Protein: Depends on the possum