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Monday, September 10, 2012

Slices of Life Aren't Always Easy

Tuesdays, the Slice of Life Community is hosted by Ruth and Stacey at Two Writing Teachers.

Some of you know
that my husband has Parkinson’s Disease with Lewy Body Dementia. It is not a good thing to have. This past
year has been very tough. Because of his
decline, I’ve had to place him in a nursing home because I could no longer care
for him. Most recently, he has been sick
with a UTI (urinary tract infection), evidently the plague of elder people at
risk with other health problems. So the
slice of my life since last Thursday has been in a hospital, helping with my
husband’s care, especially trying to wake him up enough to try to eat
something. Then reading or writing
while he slept, which was most of the time.

Hospitals create
their own worlds, I have realized, with special rules and communities, people
who wear badges hanging around their necks, and people who laugh when they can
because much of the time they could be crying.
There are computers for each patient in the rooms and a phone that I can
call the nurse with instead of a button pushed.
Each nurse and nurse assistant carry pager phones. Tech has entered this world.

I write all this
because I am a teacher/learner and I am grateful for and interested in the
things that have been available to my husband and me as we take this journey. Every little thing counts when all one wants
is to make someone feel better. However,
I am also grateful for the professional staff that have cared for him and for
me. They ask how they can help me, what
I think my husband needs, and then the next one who enters the room asks
again. I value their knowledge even more, but
kindness means a lot too.

And then there are
those in the elevator, asking why I’m there, offering sympathy, and telling me
their stories too. I’ve seen newborns
leave the hospital with deliriously happy, and already tired looking
parents. And one young man told me with
tears in his eyes that his wife of nine months had just been diagnosed with
cancer. I see solemn families sitting
around tables in the lobby, talking and hugging. And I see happy families going to see the
newest members of their family. (I can
tell by the gifts they carry.)

Tonight, I browsed
Facebook and a blogger friend posted the following with a beautiful piece of
art, which I can’t share, but the words seemed like a gift to me, and perhaps
to all of us slicers. I love it, don’t
you?

September 10th
was Mary Oliver’s birthday. Happy
Birthday, Mary, and thank you for the words.

Linda, thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. Like Irene, I love your thought about the hospital as a unique world. When I visited my brand new niece there a few weeks ago, I had a similar thought.

You're right about hospitals -- a world of its own where both human frailty and strength are on display all the time. Small kindnesses can go a long way. I agree with what others have said -- you walk with such grace, focusing on the positive, and when you share the tough times, you inspire us all. Thanks for the Mary Oliver quote -- you've shown many times how you live by those words. Hope your husband feels better soon.

I echo the others' thoughts from above me. You are such a remarkable woman, I strive to face life's challenges with the determination and grace that you exhibit. I love the words of Mary Oliver. I will copy those to read on a daily basis. Praying for you and your husband

Thank you, Linda, for sharing the Mary Oliver quote along with bits and pieces of yourself. I'm always astonished by the positive spin you find in even the most difficult of situations. You are an inspiration to so many...including me!

Like Irene, I am always moved by the grace with which you conduct your life - no matter what you may be experiencing yourself, you are always sure to take note of the kindness of others. It is a remarkable gift.

I always think of you on Tuesdays, Linda, even though I'm not writing or commenting. I can only imagine what you are experiencing. I, too, have been in a hospital recently, experiencing the anguish of my youngest son's 3 year old child,draining fluid from his brain due to spinal fluid build-up since a cancerous tumor was removed 3 years ago when James was 9 months old. He goes every 4 months to the Cleveland Clinic for a check up. The check-ups never get easier, but his progress is miraculous. He is as normal as any 3 year old and has become a special personality to our quiet family. He's a fighter, loves music and dancing. He knows how to live. When I'm in these dire situations, I cannot write about them. It's always too close for me. I need to take a lesson from you and write about all the astonishments of life. Take care and keep writing about your husband. Surprisingly, my son has a blog for his son--writing is all in the family. I

Linda, my heart, thoughts and prayers go out to your and your husband. As others have said above, you write with such grace and caring and I know that through your writing you comfort yourself and your family. Being in a hospital or nursing home is difficult and then some, but we can be so thankful for the nurses, doctors and other staff that help to care for your husband and you. The quote by Mary Oliver says so much in so few words. Thank you for sharing. Prayers and hugs to you.

This was so moving for me because my strong, handsome, loving tall best uncle had the same disease. It was so heartbreaking. My prayers are so with you. I love this line: communities, people who wear badges hanging around their necks, and people who laugh when they can because much of the time they could be crying. All of our lives can almost be summed up this way. xo nanc

As always, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Linda! I admire the way you look at life and always find beauty and something to learn about. Thanks so much for sharing with us even when it's difficult. And thank you for reminding me to stop, look around, and be grateful for what I have.

You, my friend, are remarkable. I'm picturing you in a hospital room next to the man you love, a stack of books beside you, your notebook open and your pen scratching words. In the midst of this difficult time, you find the hope of writing, the joy of living, and you share it with us. Someday, when I grow up, I hope to be a light as you are. Thank you for the Oliver quote. I will treasure it.Hugs,Ruth

The Mary Oliver quote is a gem. However, what shines even brighter is the way you embody Oliver's words. Even in the face of unimaginable challenges, you are paying attention to it all--from your husband to the staff to the fellow patrons. You are being astonished and appreciative and reflective. And you are telling us about it by continuing to write through the joys, the pains, the life you are living. Grace indeed.

Linda, I'm thinking about you and your husband and yes, I had such a wonderful experience at the hospital with the staff there during my mom's last week. And I thank you, for being with me as well throughout my tough times. So good to have friends here and everywhere,Bonnie

Such moving words Linda. That you can find time and such lovely words to share your heart with us is remarkable. My prayers are with you and your husband. Thanks so much for that wonderful quote - it is one we need to honour.

I'm just getting around to reading slices this week. I always start with yours because even in your times of worry you are always so uplifting encouraging to those of us connected to you. I hope your husband is better today, and your worries are eased, at least for a bit. My thoughts are always with you.Tammy

Linda, my heart is moved by this post. The Mary Oliver quote is especially apt. I always turn to poetry whenever the darkness threatens to engulf and there seems to be few silver linings amidst the shadows. I am glad that Oliver's words served to inspire and uplift you. I do hope that the love and positive wishes that we send to you across the miles would also make you smile. :)