Li’l Deadpool Diary Adventure Parody

A Frightful Night in Lil-Deadpool’s Head

Dear Dr. McCoy

I know you sent your cease a desist letters but I feel a better, more accurate description would help my therapy. And I know you’ve been telling me you aren’t a psychiatrist, but I know reverse psychology when I hear it.

People don’t know the treacherous catacombs that twist through the fully stocked junk food refrigerator I call a brain. Even fewer know the dedicated staff that works in the chaos. Tell you the truth, I don’t even know everyone in here.

I like to describe it as a worse version of congress. No one works together, everyone has their own agenda, no one shuts up, and they all are different versions of me. On the upside, guns are prevalent and members drop off pretty frequently.

Let’s get past that though, the other day I had a dream about that animal commercial. You know, the one where that woman wails about angels. Except, all the dogs and cats were me. Well the congress versions of myself I mean. They were all yelling at each other about the most mundane things, it was boring. Who won the Superbowl in 1974? Which is better mint chocolate chip ice cream over hotdogs or blueberry cheesecake on lasagna? Oswald was innocent. The Loch Ness Monster is just a really tall really shy seal. O.J. Simpson had terrible taste in gloves. Harry should have married Hermione and Ron should have died. How much lint is too much lint on a lint roller? Why doesn’t Dr. Phil just shave his entire head? Why haven’t Adele and T- Swift done a performance together?

Sometimes, I think I’m lonely. But then I remember all the little Deadpools in my noggin. And I feel better. They ground me, you know? If it weren’t for them and of course you, Dr. McCoy, I think people would assume I’m crazy!

Until next time

W. Wilson Esquire

P.S. How much shampoo and conditioner do you go through in a week? It’s gotta be a lot. Please respond with the exact measurements of how much you use, it’s a hobby.

-James Romansky is a graduate from NMSU and has written many Lil’ Deadpool Diary Adventure Parodies for Zia Comics in Las Cruces New Mexico. He is the photographer and editor of the photos that correspond with each story of the series as well. A Native New Mexican, James predominantly writes short fiction loosely based off his experiences in the southwest.