Me Not

With all the uproar recently about the #MeToo movement, it isn’t surprising that a woman suddenly came forward to claim Brett Kavanaugh assaulted her when they were in high school. She’s vague on details. Her story keeps changing. And she didn’t want to testify. But the liberals expect everyone to take her word as gospel, even though this is the first time anyone has ever heard this story.

As the mother of three boys, this terrifies me.

I don’t believe this woman. Not because I’m a conservative. But because it’s too convenient. She’s had over three decades to talk about this alleged assault. This man has had a storied career. At any point during his life, she could have come forward and told her story. But she waits until he’s poised to sit on the Supreme Court. Why?

I worry about my boys’ futures. They are good men. Two are in college. One is a sophomore in high school. None of my boys are ‘players’. I have taught them respect. But what guarantee do they have that some random girl they dated once or twice will show up later in their lives to claim they did something that they didn’t. If this kind of nonsense is allowed to play out, and if this woman successfully derails Kavanaugh’s nomination, a floodgate will be opened for other women to exploit hazy and untruthful ‘memories’.

That’s the danger of this movement. This whole debacle is a disgraceful overreach of power. It is an obvious tactic by one party to control the other party. And frankly, I’m so tired of all the games and posturing. I watched a small portion of the hearing, and this woman did not strike me as someone telling the truth. She appeared to be acting like a victim. She was able to make her voice quiver. She was able to summon up tears. It was all just too contrived.

Don’t get me wrong. Sexual assault is not okay. Ever.

But neither are false accusations.

I understand women not wanting to come forward when they are young or when the person who assaulted them has power over their lives. I get it. But I also believe that unless you’re willing to make those accusations in a timely manner, when the situation can be proven or disproved, then you must be willing to live with your silence.

When I was in high school, a band teacher did and said inappropriate things. At the time, I was uncomfortable around him. But I didn’t see what he did as assault.

When we went to tournaments or out of town competitions, he came into the girls’ rooms after lights out, when we were all in our pajamas, and he would threaten us with disciplinary action. (For what, we never figured out, because, let’s face it, we were band geeks.) He never touched any of us, but he was creepy. Another time, he told me I had to take private lessons with him or I would get an F in band class. During one of those lessons, he took my saxophone, licked my reed and played it, then handed it back to me. After that incident, I did tell my parents that he was creepy, and the vice principal stepped in so that I didn’t have to be alone with this man anymore. But I never told my parents exactly what he did. Looking back, he was probably a predator. But that was 34 years ago. A similar timeline to this woman’s charge against Kavanaugh. I’m not going to go back and accuse this teacher. I don’t know if he’s even still alive. At this point, I’ve had to accept that he was a pervert. That I should have said more than I did. But I can’t change what happened.

I’ve been groped in bars. At parties. At dances. I’ve had my butt pinched. I’ve had my boobs grabbed. But I dealt with that, at the time. In all those instances, I was in a party situation, where there was drinking and where other people were engaging in amorous activity. More than once, I kneed a guy in the groin. He got the idea. More than once, I slapped a guy’s hand away and told him not to touch me. He got the idea. And when I felt I was in a situation beyond my control, I left. And to be clear, I never got falling down drunk so that I was vulnerable. I never went to a situation like those parties alone. And I did not engage in behavior that could be construed as sexual flirting.

I do think there should be a statute of limitations on accusing someone of sexual assault. I don’t have the best answer, but I don’t think it’s fair to the men who are accused decades after an alleged assault. Especially when there is no evidence. And when the accuser admits that she was drinking heavily. How do we know that she didn’t dream up this assault while she was in a state of alcohol-induced stupor?

And we may as go here: are all these claims truly assault?

I would bet that in a lot of these cases, the females were active partners in whatever took place. Afterward, they regret their decision and decide to cry assault. Remorse for agreeing to have sex is not the same thing as someone assaulting you. And that should not be a valid way for women to ‘get back’ at males with whom they slept.

Women have a degree of responsibility in this issue, not just men. Again, I’m not saying every woman making claims is lying. I’m saying that not every claim of assault is valid. And it shouldn’t be taken as truth unless it can be proved. Isn’t that what our justice system is supposed to be based on?

Females can’t put themselves in situations where they get drunk or high and flirt with males, then cry foul. If females are offering themselves, males are going to take them up on that offer. In a party situation, where there is drinking and sex and nudity, responsibility falls on both the male and female. If females don’t want to be assaulted, then they need to take themselves out of situations that are volatile. They can’t expect males to always be boy scouts if the females are acting like tramps.

Some feminists will disagree. They will insist that men must be hands-off at all times. Even if the women aren’t. I say that’s unfair. Women want to be treated as equals. Fine. But then an equal amount of responsibility falls on women in regards to sex. Some women seem to want all the perks of being on equal footing, but then also want to be treated like fragile creatures when it comes to sex.

I’ve been at parties where women are dressed provocatively and are drinking heavily. They dance around and gyrate their hips and move against men. Well, what man isn’t going to touch a woman who’s grinding against his leg? To me, as an observer, that’s an invitation. And if the woman doesn’t object then, she sure as hell shouldn’t be allowed to object later, after the fact.

There can’t be a double standard. If women don’t want to be touched. If they don’t want to have sex with a man. Then they need to say no before they have sex! And they need to act with some decorum.

Now, I’m not talking about the casting couches of Hollywood. Or of the celebrity crap that is constantly going on. I’m talking about real-life. I’m talking about regular people and about growing up.

As far as underage females being with older males. That isn’t always the guy’s fault. Look at how young teens dress and apply makeup. They are trying to look older to attract older guys. When these young girls go to parties where predominantly older males are going to be, they are putting themselves in a situation that they may not be able to control. That is on them. That is not on the boys. Boys are not going to check IDs. When a girl is willing to get in bed with them, they’re not going to ask if she’s legal. And why should he have to?

Which brings up another wrinkle to this. Why are minor girls at parties like this to begin with? Where are the parents? Where are the chaperones, if it’s a school-endorsed party? I’ve heard one accuser say that there were gang rapes at every party, every week. Then why in hell did she continue going to those parties?

And when females agree to make out with strangers, then they are part of whatever actions are taking place. They are not dissolved from responsibility. They can’t act promiscuous and then have the right to act pious.

Most men I’ve known are going to stop if they’re told no. And men can say no. But to be fair, women can be prick teases. They can make out, do what feels good to them, and then they suddenly want to stop. They think that empowers them. But it doesn’t.

Maybe what these females should be doing is avoiding situations where they might be assaulted. Don’t go out drinking with strangers. Don’t go to parties alone. Don’t make out with males that you just met. Live your life with some self-respect. And by doing that, women won’t become victims.

So, in the case of Brett Kavanaugh. Who truly knows what happened thirty years ago? I’m guessing there was a party that both of these people attended. But beyond that, what proof does she have that anything more happened? And if both of them were drinking, how clear are her memories. She has admitted that she was drunk, to the point of not knowing where she was or who she was with. That statement alone casts enough doubt on her claims for me. In the three decades since that supposed incident, there hasn’t been one whisper of inappropriate behavior on his part. I find it hard to believe that if he was the person she’s accusing him of being that he could hide that aspect of his life for that long.

And then suddenly, thirty years later, she suddenly remembers? With the ‘help’ of a therapist? The timing is suspect to me. I can’t remember every party I went to when I was 15. I can’t remember who was at those parties or who was drinking, etc. I have a hard time believing that this woman can. Especially when she admits to drinking.

Democrats want to pounce on Kavanaugh’s past drinking exploits, when he was a teenager. Then why isn’t anyone looking at Ford’s drinking history? Her sexual history? Why isn’t she being investigated right along with him? Because she’s the accuser? If every woman is afforded the right to accuse any man without evidence, where does that end? Shouldn’t every man’s denial then be believed without question? Remember, everything needs to be equal and fair between the sexes.

She claims that that ‘assault’ had a lasting impact on her life. But she went on and is now a college professor. And if an assault took place, she would have told someone about it. A best friend. In the past thirty years, someone would have heard the story. But the most damning thing is that instead of going to the police with her accusation, she went to her politician. This hearing should not have even taken place. Someone circumvented proper channels.

The best advice I ever gave my boys – repeatedly – was to ‘keep it in their pants’. At the time I was thinking more along the lines of an unexpected pregnancy and how that might derail their future plans. But now, I’m thinking more about the danger of a girl claiming sexual assault later in their lives. That is scary. That is unfair. That is unfortunately the world we live in. And I am appalled that our society is allowing such blatant manipulation of the truth. This ‘hearing’ was an embarrassment to me, as a woman.

For the women who were truly assaulted, I am sorry that happened to them. As I said, sexual assault is never acceptable.

For the women who are making false claims, for whatever the reason, shame on you. It is women like you that are taking us backwards. You are actually hurting the process of holding men accountable when they have raped or molested women. Because the more false accusations that are made, the less people are going to believe the true reports. And the more likely it is that women won’t file reports at all.

And frankly, women who are guilty of filing false rape accusations should be held legally liable. They should go to prison and have to pay a settlement to the person they unjustly accused. Without consequences, these lies will continue.

For the women rallying behind this accusation: be careful. The men in your life are not safe. No man is, if these types of unfounded accusations are upheld. Do your research. Don’t jump on someone else’s claim of assault without discovering whether or not it’s true. And think about how you would feel if your husband, or brother, or son, or father, was the target of a smear or revenge accusation.

I’m tired of politicians saying that a woman should be believed, simply because she’s a woman. Really? How about the women who accused Bill Clinton of assaulting them? Oh, I forgot, those women don’t count because they were accusing a Democrat and a liberal.

The MeToo movement is a blight. It is doing nothing but ramping up lies. It isn’t fair that a female can dredge up decades-old resentment, package it as an accusation of assault, and go on living her life while she destroys a man’s. So, don’t include me in the support for this movement. Liberals have done nothing in the last ten years but use divisiveness and hatred to drive wedges between facets of American society.

Just look at what they’ve done to this hearing. Shameful. Hopefully voters will remember that in a few weeks.