(You can use this thief, this ranger, or this fighter if you like.)Use the3.5/d20/Castles and Crusades system, for bonuses and penalties. Like if you have a 12 or 13 in a stat, you're +1 to things associated with that stat, if you have an 8 or 9, that's -1, 6 or 7 is -2, etc. Write the number next to the stat. That same link will tell you where your base melee mod, damage mod, missile mod, ac mod, save mod and con mod are. Or just ask me and I can hook you up.Grab a melee weapon. Make a roll-under-charisma roll. If you make it you get a ranged weapon that does damage equal to whatever die is closest to the degree you made the roll by, d4, d6, or d8.Likewise your AC equals your charisma or 10 whichever is higher, whatever armor that would be (add any dex bonus after that).The existence of other equipment is decided by intelligence rolls. Like: do I have a rope? Roll under int. etc. Don't be a dick about this.Casters start with 2 first level spells.Pick a background for your mercenaries:

Goblins from Gaxen Kane: You are from the Goblin Empire or Cobalt Reach. Your team has access to one insane livestock-derived kamikaze goblin bioweapon (boar on fire, crow rigged to explode, etc). Submit it to the GM for approval

Dark Elves from Drownesia. You can, like any dark elf cause darkness in a 15' radius once per day. Being from drownesia also means you'll get a riding dinosaur (a small parasaur) if you survive your first battle on the winning side.

Vornheim natives or other local mercenaries (noble). You gain two pieces of standard equipment of your choice free.

Vornheim natives or other local mercenaries (rabble). You're viking-types. You may re roll any single one of: strength, constitution or hit points. If you survive your first battle you get a horse.

Undead warriors from Deathfrost Mountain. You're skeletal undead with all the good and bad things that implies. Any non-undead in your party have clearly made some unholy pact with a necromancer to secure your loyalty.

White elves from Nornrik. You have cool creepy viking-elf warmasks that give you +1 AC but -1 to notice stuff visually with Wisdom rolls.

Chaos Warriors from the Wastelands of the Negatsar You're basically Warhammer chaos types from pseudoSlavia. Pick one mutation (don't be a dick) or randomly get 2 plus one more every time you level up.

Itinerant Knights from the Megafortress Returned from the Frontier Free horse and plate mail but you gotta be a paladin. No missile weapons.

Gray Elves from the Far Lands As Itinerant Knights above.

Pirates You're from all over the world, each member of the group may pick any of these backgrounds: the Harsh North (as Vornheim noble or rabble above), The Land of Naj: choose one piece of slightly anachronistic technology, The Exotic East: pick a Kung Fu number. Pirates get leather armor only, everyone has a rope and grappling hook.
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The first game will probably be today (Dec 14) at 5pm pacific ish but that's negotiable, sign up on Google+.