Marraige disputes

Asked for Male, 28 Years

I was in relation with my husband since 5 years.our marriage is love+arrange.I just got married with him 3 mnts before.when we was in relationship he left me for his personal reasons. I wait for him for along time.to forget his memories I went out to Singapore. I met to so many kinds of people there. And I got influenced by them. I'm really alone in my life.means I have my all family members but they always busy in their work. So I find a guy Singapore . I thought he is perfect for me. And I kept physcial relation with him. After that I came back to India for a leave and my marriage got fixed with my b.f. means my old bf. Now he is my husband. But after marraige within 1 month he understood about my past and now he can't forget it all.I convinced him a lot. From 2 month I'm telling him that forget it all..from now itself I will not do anything like this.but he is in depression. Please help me.I love my husband so much..please. Your advice may be change my life

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Doctor Answers (1) on Marraige disputes

Hey, Your saying or doing anything would not help much at this particular point of heightened emotions, where your husband is disillusioned with certain expectations of his not being met. It takes certain understanding & communication which might be hard to achieve on your own. However, As long as you both are committed to this marriage, it can be shaped in a wonderful way. It's not his fault that he had to leave you in between for some reason or it's not your fault that you got lonely and had relation with another guy after break up. It was all situational and probable at that point. It's good that you both still liked each other and could get together again in a stronger bond. At this point It would surely help to see a couple counselor/therapist and get the things into perspective. You both love each other & need each other. Him being depressed about past & you being guilty can turn into something valuable in the present & lay a strong foundation for a marriage with trust & commitment for future. Take Care