Poor Pat Riley. All he was doing was minding his business, applying hair gel, and he ends up getting subpoenaed.

Last week, the Miami Heat president was served papers to testify in the divorce trial of Dwyane Wade and ex-wife Siohvaughn. Florida law states that in divorces, an employer must provide information regarding a party’s net worth, if requested. Thus, Riley got dragged into the fray.

Rock On sources say Kobe Bryant, too, will be subpoenaed because he once stole the ball from Wade, raising questions of how much was taken and whether Wade recovered any of his losses.

INSULT UPON INJURY

After making insensitive statements about Notre Dame, Catholics and SEC academics, Ohio State president Gordon Gee is undergoing “remediation.”

No word on whether the process will also include Buckeye football coach Urban Meyer, who can’t seem to stop calling Michigan “that team up north."

ROADBLOCKED

Deseret News writer Jody Genessy reports that Jerry Sloan has had conversations with the Jazz about returning in an unspecified capacity.

“I’d hate to be in anybody’s way,” the Hall of Fame coach modestly noted.

Good point. The Jazz wouldn’t want the guy who won 1,221 games interfering with plans to get the No.1 draft pick next year.

VERIFIABLY VEGA$

According to The Wall Street Journal, baseball legend Pete Rose makes $1 million a year signing autographs in Las Vegas. Cost of signed baseballs and photos range from $75 to $800.

That’s outrageous.

Of course, for a town rumored to have paid out $75 million to Carrot Top

INKED

Miami Heat center Chris “Birdman” Andersen was suspended for Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals after flooring Tyler Hansbrough with a shoulder check, then shoving him after the whistle.

You might say Andersen really tattooed him.

PUBLIC ENEMY

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard had a salami sandwich thrown at her as she visited a school, last week. It was the second time in a month that a sandwich has been thrown her way.

No word on why anyone would confuse her with Lance Armstrong, but there you have it.

SURE SALE

BYU athletics director Tom Holmoe told reporters he’d like to stage football games on foreign soil against the military academies.

On one hand, that could be daunting if games are played near military bases, where the service teams have a built-in audience. On the other hand, the Cougars could always announce the kickoff times to LDS members and call it “regional conference.”

Brad Rock, a.k.a. "Rockmonster," has been a sports columnist at the Deseret News since 1994. Prior to that he worked as a beat writer, covering the Utah Jazz (1990-94). He has covered the Super Bowl, NCAA Final Four, NBA more ..