When you have children you open a door to your heart that cannot ever be closed. I’ve seen some really cool methods of handling parental splits this season, looks like it can actually be achieved. Mine was not a split that breeds compromise, in truth the same can be said of the marriage. I miss my children terribly and am devastated that my influence on their lives is measured solely in commercial terms.

I realised today how odd it sounds to talk of an annual hours visit with my daughter. That’s the problem when unbalanced parenting, it allows the wrong to overcome the right. I’ve always maintained that I will never engage my children in adult emotions, they are children for a reason. My children know that I love them and that I miss them but I’ve never told them how much it hurts not to see them or be involved in their lives. For me that is Dad’s role, we are the rocks the stable ones that are always there, it’s just the job.

To my children our relationship is normal, the occasional call or message and the potential of an annual visit. They don’t see anything strange in this, it is what they know and it is not for me to burden their lives with adult complications. The conversation today and the sight of better managed situations made me think that I was wrong. I considered that somewhere in my determination not to burden my children with adult emotions I had let them down. I have allowed my children to adopt a normality that is created by one party, however you look at it this is unbalanced.

But then my daughter arrived, tall and gorgeous, she has grown since last year. The innocence with which she greats me is as if she has simply walked from her bedroom and this is not an annual visit. An hour of humour and love carefully spent with dimmed lights, after all dads don’t cry, makes it all seem right. Whatever I have or haven’t done for my children that innocence tells me that I’ve not shared my pain. That door to a parent’s heart can never be closed no matter how hard some try, the path to a parent’s heart is shorter for their children than it is for a surgeon.

Perhaps my children will read the blog at some point, but by then they will be old enough for the stories not to change their view of the world. I would like to think that they can at least learn that even dads have emotions, not a bad lesson eh?

I had a good catch up with my mate Sean last night. Some of you will remember him as the biker collarbone example. Sean has recently started following my blog, I like to think this is research for starting his own. He has discovered that he has the same errant screw as I have, his opinion was the angle of the x-ray but I was happy to explain. Upon further consideration I have concluded that the wrong people are doing the operations. Given the DIY skills of surgeons we should let them open and close but get a builder in for the serious work.

In my survey of two operations I have found that in 100% the screws have split the bone. When you look at it the cause is obvious, too many screws too close together. The solution seems to be to try and draw the split together using a screw at right angles to the split. If I put up shelves at home like this I would be embarrassed let alone if I did it at work. Smaller screws, or less of them, is the answer and any chippy will tell you that. The good thing about this revelation is that it falls in neatly with the austerity measures that are so popular now. Your average surgeon is very expensive so if he only provides access and closes up we can get more out of him. Your metalwork can be put in by a chippy at a much lower cost.

I accept that there will be some infrastructure costs, we will need to get some extraction to deal with the habitual smoking for a start. The public’s perception of chippys will improve as well since they will no longer be the expensive part of the job. But why stop there? Surely a seamstress would do a better job with stitches? My butcher has a precision with a knife that puts some of my scars to shame. Internal work is all really plumbing isn’t it? A load of pipes and a pump, not sure if plumbers are cheaper than surgeons but if not the competition has to be a good thing doesn’t it.

I trust the PM or at least the health minister follow the blog so I will await their call…

I have just read a story in the newspaper about the most bitter divorce in the UK, the couple were called young. Mr Young, I know its no solace now but its not you, apparently all divorces involving the name young are a nightmare!

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