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10 signs your child is being bullied

Most parents have been bullied at some stage in their life, and it's highly likely your child will have to face it too. Research suggests that one in five kids will face bullying at some stage and one in ten are likely to be cyber bullied - or bullied while online or via their mobile phone.

All Australian schools have bullying strategies and policies designed to tackle the problem of bullies and appropriately resolve any problems related to violence and intimidation.

Bullying can be covert or cyber-based. It can be physical or emotional. So when can you use the label of “bully” - and what are the types?

What is bullying?

Bullying occurs when a person or a group repeatedly and intentionally use or abuse their power to intimidate, hurt, oppress or damage someone else. They can include:

Physical bullying - when physical actions such as hitting, poking, tripping or pushing, are used to hurt and intimidate. Repeatedly and intentionally damaging someone's belongings is also physical bullying.

Verbal bullying - involves the use of negative words, like name calling, insults, homophobic or racist slurs, to intentionally upset someone.

Social bullying - when lies, the spreading of rumours or nasty pranks are used. This includes repeated mimicking and deliberate exclusion.

Psychological bullying - involves the repeated and intentional use of words or actions which can cause psychological harm. Examples include intimidation, manipulation and stalking.

Cyber bullying - this is a big one at the moment, and is when technology is used to verbally, socially or psychologically bully. It can occur in chat rooms, on social networking sites, through emails or on mobile phones.

Bullying isn't a disagreement or single episode of social rejection - it's usually more sustained or systematic. Bullying is happening everywhere and the chances that your child - or you - will encounter it are very high.

How likely is it that bullying will happen?

One student in every four in Australian schools is affected by bullying, says recent research commissioned by the Federal Government.

An estimated 200 million children and youth around the world are being bullied by their peers according to the 2007 Kandersteg Declaration Against Bullying in Children and Youth.

Kids who are bullied are three times more likely to show depressive symptoms, and up to nine times more likely to have suicidal thoughts, say some studies.

Girls who were victims of bullying in their early primary school years were more likely to remain victims as they get older. Children who were frequently bullied by their peers are more likely to develop psychotic symptoms in their early adolescence, says more UK research.

Girls were much more likely than boys to be victims of both cyber and traditional bullying, says a recent Murdoch Children's Research Institute study.

Children as young as three can become victims of bullying and young people who bully have a one in four chance of having a criminal record by the age of 30.

Bullying is the fourth most common reason young people seek help from children's help services.

How to spot the signs of bullying

Children can find it hard to communicate what's going on if they're being bullied.

Even now, with all the publicity about bullying and the zero tolerance attitude of schools, many bullying victims suffer in silence - in fact some research suggests that 20% of victims say nothing. Maybe they are too ashamed, or more likely feel too threatened by the bullies to tell anyone.

So it is important that parents and teachers know how to spot the signs that bullying may be occurring, which include:

physical injuries like unexplained bruises and scratches

reluctance to go to school

lower academic performance

moodiness, withdrawal, tension and tears after school or kindy

talk of hating school

refusal to discuss what's happening at school

bed wetting, altered sleep patterns or having nightmares

changes in eating habits (such as loss of appetite or overeating)

major changes in relationships and friendships with others

getting into trouble more often, and acting out

Obviously these signs can also point to many other issues. So how do you find out if bullying is the reason for your child's changes in behaviour? You need to talk to your child and try to encourage them to open up about what's happening.Talking about bullying

Many kids who are being bullied will not voluntarily talk to their carers or teachers about what's happening. They will need some coaxing and a feeling that they are being understood to reveal what they're going through.