I second shhh's thoughts that it might be one of those things where it's just so bizarre, people keep going. It may also be that the company is good, they all enjoy the shared moments of trying to avoid hysterical laughter, and the lack of a good meal may not be that big of a deal to them.

As ridiculous and hard to believe as this sounds, the basic answer is that when you accept someone's hospitality, you sort have to accept it. Yes, the hosts are obligated to provide meals during mealtimes, etc, but if what they are offering is a ham for dinner, then it's pretty much rude to insist that they offer something else (even if their lack of a complete meal doesn't reflect well on their sense of good dinner hosting). Sure, a good way to 'hint' that their hospitality is lacking is to offer to do it yourself, but if they refuse any side dishes, then showing up for the holiday dinner kind of requires you to accept the ham and thank them for it sincerely. If side dishes are a must, then decline the invitation.

Okay, maybe not, and I too wonder if the situation is exaggerated. Assuming it is true (because people can be very weird), I would have quit going the third year. First time, maybe it is a strange diet. Second time, surely they aren't still on the ham kick, are they? Third Christmas, I'm sorry, I've got plans for some macaroni-and-cheese and a bowl of applesauce with my very own ham.

I'd host a party at my place with a full meal and invite everyone. If they get upset that I'm not letting them host, I'd reply with "just because I'm hosting a dinner party doesn't mean you can't invite people to your own event."

I'd host a party at my place with a full meal and invite everyone. If they get upset that I'm not letting them host, I'd reply with "just because I'm hosting a dinner party doesn't mean you can't invite people to your own event."

I feel a bit guilty because I know it isn't terribly amusing for the OP to endure this weirdness, but I will admit to laughing out loud when I read the post. You just can't say, "Now, I've seen everything," until you've worked your way through the winding hallways of eHell. Pass the ham. Great ham! Is there any ham left? Could I just get a bit more ham on my ham?

I thought I had it bad. For years, FIL "prepared" a bloody, oozing, undercooked lump of beef each Thanksgiving, with sides of green beans and dinner rolls. I don't eat beef. He knew that, but wouldn't allow anyone to contribute other dishes. Now, I know how lucky I was to have had the green beans and dinner rolls! I'll be more careful to include side dishes among the blessings I count each year. And I'll never look at ham the same way again.

It's so bizarre I would keep going , (I'm second shenanigans ) I guess in theory they could be militant meat only eaters and have been deeply offended by all the bread and vegetables they have been served or my person favorite theory one of them is doing a long term experiment RE how far people will go to met family exceptions. I would offer to bring more ham

thanks, and now I get to clean coffee off my screen

I keep remembering Mr Blanding Builds His Dream House ... if it ain't Wham, it ain't Ham