People Talk

November 24, 2006 10:22am

While making my way through daily life I notice that an awful lot of people talk. Friends in circles talk to eachother around Big Macs and fries, nurses smoke between wheezing chatting and coffee shop hipsters make small talk with college girls or retirees spending their all too early mornings out and about.

How do they do this? Why am I unable to hold such basic conversations? For them, it all begins with some simple sentence “Gettin’ cold out there” or “phew…another day, huh?” or today I hear “this is a hell of a bitch, right?” (no clue what the subject of that matter was). Regardless, it always evolves into discussions of the plight of the working man or how financing is ruining America’s middle class or the state of the union in China. But when I try to stumble through a conversation everyone ends up making strange faces and uncomfortable glances at watches or down alleyways, as if to say “I’d rather be stabbed by a vagabond than to continue this slow death.”

The Good Ol’ Days

Discussion

Don’t you love overhearing bits of other people’s conversations? It’s so interesting. My son, daughter, daughter’s friend and I were out to dinner one night, and we finally noticed our waiter was hovering. I think we all turned and looked at him at the same time. He said “I can’t help it. Your conversations have been so interesting, I just wanted to listen.” I don’t even remember what we were talking about. Most of the time I can make small talk, banal stuff. But I can only take it for so long, then I need to talk about something substantive.

before i start, i enjoyed that comment cait. i can picture myself as that waiter. i’d have laughed charmingly and let you all in the know that i was in the know by detailing the finer points of contention of the topic at hand. again, i say, ‘i can picture’ this. this, because i do it so often. ha! just kidding. i’m quite modest.

these days you finish two beers and you’re hootin and holla!

so therefore: onto nathan’s topic.

i predict that after i go on for a bit in a roundabout way, you’ll get my point.

people are 1. selfish 2. proud 3.
many people are 3. shallow

hmm, i guess i’ve taken not quite the indirect path. anyway, there needs some clarifying still..!

hi, my name’s angela. don’t you think i’m hot? show your submission to my looks by quickly laughing or by saying something short and cliche to make me laugh.

hi, i’m chuck. things are cool. had team won yesterday things’d be even cooler, right, knock knock! yeah, the gov’t this.

-you: something or other – him: huh?

point is: you are better at striking up conversation with anybody anywhere than anyone. remember your hitch-hiking skills? if you are having trouble, it’s because you’ve lost the care to humor people.

the only actual mistake you might be making, if you really want to talk to people you might not really want to talk to, is that keep it simple at first and then throw out feelers to see how they react. they don’t comply with a similar response or a nodding ‘go on please’ attitude? you hit them back with a, ‘but i don’t know. you still gotta -insert cliche- laugh casually.

if you’ve lost the energy for that, no big deal. but if you still want it, you can still do it.

only problem would be if that you a few years ago fell out of practice with it since you figured you didn’t want it, but now want it back and aren’t as good at it.

but anyway, you’re still as good as they come to listening to those who have put a little more complication into coveying their feelings than others.

Ah, being affected by reading, in your writing. It’s a fear of mine. A very real one. No art can exist in a vacuum and all aside, I think I write too similarly to other authors when I read a book front to other side…

So I just don’t read.

But then musical lyrics affect you…

But yeah, maybe you’re right about the discussion thing… I think that might be a very real possibility. Also, the initiation of a conversation actually seems the most difficult. At what point is it okay to start talking to someone – guys will fight you and girls will think you’re flirting, right?

i know. they’re being saved like that last piece of shortcake that you want to eat but keep putting off since there are more practical things to do; but one day, you’ll think to yourself in all forgetfullness, ‘man, i wish i had a piece of, hmm, oh that’s right!’ and then it’ll be read in fullness.

i was thinking yesterday about how it seems quite easy for me lately to talk it up everywhere and i realized quite surely that it was because of the interaction i have at work.

you are no longer employed at an office = much less interacting on a casual scale. you probably only use personal dialogue between people you care about and so you have a harder time trying to find the flow of a casual conversation.

But Shawn makes a good point when he (in non-blog conversation) says how he doesn’t want to find music that is a one time listen kind of thing, he’s really looking for something that he can dive into, get his hands dirty with, read the book that comes with the CD, go to shows, and just get completely submerged in the whole experience.

Which is basically what my entire life’s about, from diving head in to girlfriends to wanting to find people to just hang out with – I have plenty of loose friends around here that make conversation pretty well, but who just aren’t interesting enough for me to call them when Friday night rolls around.

yeah, that’s what my original attack on the wii was going to be about. i imagine there’s lack of control with the wii and old games i already love would take new skills to master on it. therefore, the games i NEED to have are games like winning eleven for the 360. or halo for the 360. i’ve gained so many hard-earned skills in these games that that is what’s important to me in a gaming system.

on the other hand, talking about surface things gives me personally, what i think of as good mental health evidence. it ensures that i’m constantly staying above the surface, breathing air, the sun warm on my face. instead of day in and day out taking huge deep breaths and staying down and going down deeper and deeper each day – it can take a toll on you in a way even though it seems like it’s nourishing your deepest desires.