I almost quit blogging…

When we got back from California, I saw that I’d lost followers on instagram. It was a disheartening feeling. I’d been working so hard on posting, working on my captions, working on “showing my personality” and I lost followers. I did an instagram takeover for Rent The Runway, the third one I’ve ever done hoping it would spur me into the 10K mark, and it did absolutely nothing. Not a blip, not a thing. Guess Rent The Runway isn’t really my market. But it was a blow. I was so excited about it and had a lot of fun

doing it but I didn’t get much out of it. On the plane ride home from California I decided to finish out the content I had (photos from California) and quietly disappear into the ether. I was done trying to keep up with the numbers, appeal to the masses and keep my fucking sanity. After all, I thought, this is just a hobby. Something I do for fun, the way some people run everyday, or read the newspaper. But I also thought to myself, “what the hell would I do if I didn’t blog?” It’s that ingrained in me.

I remember last year when Gabi of Gabi Fresh tweeted that I was the most under rated blogger. She confirmed something I’ve known for a long time. As far as the blogging game, I’m old. I’ve been blogging for almost 7 years. I’ve had highs, I’ve had lows, I’ve wanted to quit every other year. But something always pulls me back. I think it’s so easy to get caught up in the numbers, the followers, blah blah blah. I had to sit down and have a good look at myself and what I really want to do with this space. I’m so lucky to have great friends who also blog like Vana and Jen who really checked me when I said I was done. Not to mention these two are my biggest cheerleaders and I love them both so much for all their support. I was blogging when bloggers didn’t get free stuff or really even worked with brands. I snuck into my first fashion show because I wanted to be a part of it so badly. I didn’t even have a camera when I started this blog. I used flip phone photos and finally invested in a fuji film camera. I was just excited to have a space on the internet that was mine.

I love writing. That’s what it all comes down to. I had dreams of being a journalist and writing for magazines. I can’t tell you to this day how many articles I’ve pitched to magazines, newspapers, and online websites. How many times I came so close only to be shut down. I’ve never been published in any of the spaces I fight so hard to get a byline in. I was so discouraged that I started my own magazine. I said fuck it, y’all don’t want the stories I want to tell then I’ll do it on my own. It’s turned into one of the things I love most about blogging and I look forward to putting Fashion Steele NYC Magazine out every year. I even had a few editors tell me that it’s good enough to be on the stands. But I already knew that.

As long as I have this space, I know I can never quit it. I love it too much. I love being able to tell a story whether that be visual through fashion or actual stories. Some of my favorite post are those that have nothing to do with what I’m wearing. Like my story about how I met ASAP Rocky, or how I budgeted 6 Days in Paris, or my detailed story of my time in Havana, and how I almost died on a hike in Italy, how I took my first solo trip or the story of why I went natural. It’s the stories that I love to tell and whether that gets me followers or likes or whatever the fuck, I just want to tell the story. I can never stop writing. It’s easy to get caught up in the hoopla, the circus that is basing your worth on a number. I’ve gotten back to why I do it and although all the extra stuff is still frustrating, I’m glad to I have this space. I’m glad that it’s mine and I can be and do whatever I want. I’m also glad that there’s even one person out there reading this. I thank you for reading.

PS. It’s been a dream of mine to be in the desert with nothing but the dirt and me. Finally knocked it off the bucket list. Yucca Valley was amazing. I awoke to watch the sun rise over the mountains and sat under the bright stars at night. It was so quiet I could hear my heart beat.

31 Comments

Monroe… never give up! Trust me all those no’s are for a reason. Years from now when you’re running your own magazine company you’ll see why God didn’t let the things you wanted to happen, because he has a better plan for you. You’re far too great to quit. What I admire most is that through it all you remained the same old girl I swooned over 7yrs ago 🙂 I’m excited to see where God takes you.

I loved reading this, and I’m so happy that you decided to keep going! You were one of the first bloggers that I followed, and you also inspired me to start my blog. Keep up the awesome work. You are so talented, and the people that matter the most notice you and are watching you. Good luck, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for you!

Keep going, you know you have a core fan base that you inspire! It’s so easy to get caught up with numbers in this game, but when you have a true connection with a few real people, that’s where your impact lies!

Beautiful!! Well said. Don’t give up. I’m a brand new blogger myself and I often feel the exact same way. And when I consider quiting, I ask myself..what would I do instead? Honestly there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing and so I keep going because I love it so much! So, don’t give up! I love your work

I don’t always comment, and going forward, I will make sure to do so more often. I love reading your posts, and learning about your travel adventures and your fashion insight. I am sure there are so many others like me, an avid fan who doesn’t always remember to let you know how great your blog is. So happy you’re gonna keep putting out this great work!

Ok I absolutely love your blog and the fact that you have great style is the icing on the cake. I’ve been following your blog for maybe 5 years now and i never really commented on anything until recently because i finally wanted you to know that just because we’re not commenting doesn’t mean we are not checking what you post. You’ve always inspired me to think outside the box when it comes to fashion and nothing is wrong with being an older blogger because all I have seen from the last 5 years is growth, progress, and a killer sense of fashion from you. Xo

I started following you years ago because you weren’t a programmed copy cat blogger. Authenticity isn’t always popular and usually is the last to get rewarded but so worth it. Before blessings there’s always confusion and doubt, but you are about to reap the benefits of all your hard work. Stay true and consistent like you are now.

Thank you so much for sharing this heart felt story with us. I just came across your blog on Instagram and I immediately followed you.
I have been on Instagram for 3 years but recently started blogging, and I almost quit recently.
I believe your blog post today is for me. I recently lost alot of followers too on Instagram but I guess the reason why I started kept me going.
Keep going sister, you’re doing an awesone job.

I am so happy to hear even the most successful blogger have the ” I should quit” ruts and still come off higher on top than before. I am having these ruts now and its drives me nuts but then I read post like yours and think if she can get through this so can I. Keep up the great work doll! I am still reading!

Please don’t go anywhere! I love your blog and your writing. I’ve been a follower for about 4 years and enjoyed it all. You are different from the other bloggers out there where they all pretty much have the same look, act, and does the same things. Keep on keeping on! You will always have a follower in me and I’m pretty sure there are tons of other fans that feel the same! XOXO

Girl, everything is kind of disheartening about this industry but people like us who were here before it was an “industry” remain because we love it. Can’t let the other stuff bog us down. Most of it is fake anyway. I love this look, and everything you’ve been doing lately.

I’m so glad you decided not to quit because I love your sense of style and even more of your stories. I look forward reading your posts every time and I’ll try from now on to comment and let you know that I’m here and enjoy your content.

I’m so glad you didn’t quit blogging. I just discovered your blog and I love it. Please keep going and keep inspiring, your voice is unique and there will always be someone who wants to hear what you have to say.