In America's theme-park Mecca, Orlando Weekly recently explored these themes: How a private group of developers pulled the strings that directed public land-use policies. How a millionaire time-share mogul made his money selling bogus promises. How an annual Gay Day...

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Wait, what went down last week? Oh, right … the single greatest moment of American history in our lifetime. Downtown was absolutely electric on Election Night, its ventricles pumping with a vigor never quite seen before.

Oct. 16, 10:29 a.m.: Two bits of housekeeping: First, after catching a raft of shit concerning my last column's Gilbert and Sullivan reference, I would like to state the following: I know almost nothing about musical theater.

Last week, Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer announced that the city will henceforth offer same-sex partners the benefits it awards to married couples (though not to straight unmarried couples, because they're living in sin). And it only took our "progressive" mayor and his Democrat-dominated city council five years to do it.

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According to a recent report from the Trust for America's Health, nearly one-quarter of Florida adults are obese, and a third of our children are obese or overweight. What's most depressing about the report is that Florida's about average.

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Even if you removed all of the hyperbolic superlatives from the vaunted journalism lexicon, pissed on them and then set them on fire, you would still hazard an errant exclamation point at the events that transpired in relation to same-sex marriage over the holidays when nobody was watching.