Redemption found in wasted time

Author Edward Hertrich folds himself into the chair next to me. Tall and slim, he’s an elegant man in his early 60s with a weathered face and kindly eyes. He is here to talk about the decades he spent in prison, of a life of crime he embraced while still a teen, and the fact his longest stint behind bars was for the murder of a fellow drug dealer.

Hertrich has lived a thousand lives since being born in Toronto’s notorious Regent Park housing project, in the city’s east end. A convicted career criminal and murderer who spent decades incarcerated, he has successfully completed his years on parole, holds a good job, and speaks to various groups about his life.

He also penned a book rich in detail and instant recall that, astonishingly took only three months to write. Wasted Time (Dundurn) is Hertrich’s story, recollections of growing up poor and entering a notorious lifestyle, and takes the reader on a devastating journey that ends with a sense of redemption; it brings to the surface a variety of emotions not only for the writer but also the reader — anger, grief, exhilaration and a sense of sadness for a wasted life.

In another world, and different circumstances, Hertrich’s life could have been so opposite of the rabbit hole he tumbled down — certainly as a businessman, perhaps a lawyer, even in medicine — his marks were good, he spoke with an eloquence far beyond his years. So articulate was he in his many court hearings that a superior court judge once said to him, “you missed your calling.”

He says he had no issues growing up poor because “everyone else was living the same life.” It was only when he transferred to high school out of his neighbourhood that the reality of his upbringing surfaced: “I wore second-hand clothes, my lunch came in a brown bag, I had no money, I just didn’t fit in…” he trails, admitting he left school in Grade 11 to find work.

He also started hanging with an older brother who was already on the harsh road to illegal activities. It was a pivotal moment when his brother took him under his wings, “and I started dealing drugs. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did it.” And thus was the trajectory of his life irrevocably changed.

What started with simple dealing escalated into dangerous territory, resulting in him being incarcerated 35 of his next 40 years. How he spent the bulk of his time in Millhaven Institution where he was housed with hundreds of Canada’s most dangerous inmates — that he himself was once considered a serious threat to public safety. He also writes of his time in Kingston Pen, and he details how barbaric jail guards were. He was barely 20 years old when he was incarcerated as the first occupant of Holding 9 — the new name for the death row prison stall at Toronto’s ancient Don Jail. He spent time in solitaire. He admits he didn’t live so much as survive.

Hertrich delivers his story in a moving monologue, as if he as the author is reporting specifics of his life in a third-party style. There’s even a touch of humour in some of his passages. Colourful characters with theatrical names come to life under his expert writing. Does he think he was a product of his environment? “Absolutely. In Regent Park, kids didn’t talk about going to college or university — you were lucky to get a factory job.”

Does he live with regret? “I was born with a sense of right and wrong. I knew what I did was wrong. But I did it, and take full responsibility” That said, Hertrich takes a look “at the guy in the mirror every day and realize I’m a long way from where I used to be.”

Did he ever think he’d make it out alive? “Many times I thought I was dead. But I had this will, I wanted to live, to succeed.”

When asked of the man he killed, grief crosses his face, and he nods to acknowledge this, adding “at the time, he was a fellow drug dealer, like me, and it could have been me, not him.” But as time went on, he saw the humanity behind the person whose life he took, and he admits he carries that burden every day.

“Like the people I pass on the street today — the drug addicts. I was their supplier. I just tears me up (that I was responsible for this.)”

Today, Hertrich’s old life can be seen as billows of dust underneath his shoes. “I know I am judged every day and I understand the loss of trust when you commit crimes. But my life today is of rebuilding trust, helping people. I had my book launch in Regent Park — and a gentleman came up with his son. He said to his son ‘this is the guy I wanted you to meet. He saved my life 25 years ago.’

“I talk to students, I talk to groups. When I started writing this book I thought it would be a really good story for people read to teach their kids what really goes on in jail. Is it a story of redemption? I think so.