“Movie: The Movie: 2V” features an army of sexy vampires, zombies and mummies. (ABC)

When in doubt, out-sex the opposition.

Gratuitous celebrity cameos don’t hurt, either.

Those are the overriding themes of “Movie: The Movie: 2V,” a seven-minute trailer presented on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” following Sunday’s Academy Awards.

Last year’s original “Movie: The Movie,” which garnered 20 million YouTube views, involves an asteroid threatening the earth. This time it’s an army of sexy zombies, vampires, mummies and even Leprechauns – a sexpocalypse, if you will.

“2V” shows a crack team of superheroes uniting to fight the hoard, Avengers-style. Actress Jessica Chastain provided intelligence. Kimmel channeled his inner Fury with two (two!) eye-patches, but it wasn’t enough to get the attention of Madame President (Oprah Winfrey, too busy to take Jimmy’s call).

“She’s probably busy … with the network, the country and everything,” Kimmel said to Chastain.

“Yeah.”

Gerard Butler embodied the “Taken” role, threatening the enemy in phone snipes and later using a flame-thrower with a baby strapped to his chest.

After watching his parents get shot, getting splashed with acid and bitten by a radioactive cocktail shrimp, John Krasinski turned into “The Shrimp,” a shrimp-human hybrid that fights evil.

Bradley Cooper appeared, children in hand, as an inspirational teacher at a low-income public school.

“I’m not giving up on these kids,” the teacher said, at which point one of the children spit in his face.

“Gonna take more than that,” he responded.

Kerry Washington showed off her talents – taking off her glasses, letting down her hair and turning “super hot.”

Chris Rock voiced a skateboarding CGI gopher who, as Kimmel described it, has “the voice of a black person, obviously written by a white person.”

So the team – gophers, teachers, shrimp and all – fought the sexy beasts. Singer Bruno Mars joined the squad, preaching a message of love, trying to subdue the zombies with a serenade.

“Baby it’s the love that we share,” he sang before the crowd tackled him, turning him into a zombie himself, his lips blackened, his face puffy.

“Wassup?” Zombie Bruno Mars said, still a charmer in his undead state.

Similarly to the original, “2V” features a plethora of irreverent celebrity cameos that neither furthered the trailer’s plot or served any inherent purpose other than to showcase stars in ridiculous circumstances.

Rachel Weisz appeared as a woman aroused and horrified by the creatures.

Bryan Cranston made a cameo as an armless piano-playing savant. Topher Grace was a smooth-talking Leprechaun. Salma Hayek played a nurse – and her dying male patient – in a “blatant attempt to win an Academy Award.”

Kimmel ‘adversary’ Matt Damon even got in on the action, eating a big, imaginary sandwich in a motion-capture suit (Faster! Faster!) until he realized what his gestures looked like, and then he scowled and walked away, tricked again.

But through all the sandwich-eating and piano face-plants, the gang figured out a solution.

“Release the Tatum,” Kimmel said, and a giant-sized Channing Tatum emerged, his midsection glowing, his hips emitting beams of energy.

Samuel L. Jackson was on hand to deliver the final attack – sending a giant Jenga tower onto the creeps, raising his arms in celebration, the enemy defeated by board game blocks and a trove of celebrities doing comical things.