Why your work disappoints you

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Just a quick shoutout to a certain demographic. If you create as a habit, hobby or job — writing, visual arts, music, design, whatever — I think this will mean something to you. If you once did but don’t any more then it may be even more relevant.

I don’t remember where I first saw it but it’s been making the rounds in the social media channels:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

-Ira Glass

Your taste is why your work disappoints you.

I guess this is a fact of life for creatives and we ought to be relieved by all it explains. It’s why it can be so hard to put your ass in the chair and make something — it’s painful to make something that doesn’t meet your standards, and those of us who are new to our respective arts don’t often hit the marks we set for ourselves.

It also explains how some really untalented writers and musicians and are more confident and less inhibited about self-promotion than the good ones. Low standards, met easily. If you’re self-conscious about showing your work, good, there’s a reason for that. Bad artists are bad because they don’t know what good looks like.

It explains why people quit even when at one time they really saw how good they could be.

The taste-ability gap appears to be an immutable law of craft itself, and those that partake will suffer from it in some form almost every time they sit down, at least as long as they’re unaware of it. In hindsight it’s obvious, but it never occured to me until I ran into this quote somewhere a few months ago.

As big a revelation as it was, I forget it all the time. I forget that most of the self-torture and that is known to come with creative work inevitably stems from that gulf between one’s taste and one’s artistic chops, and it has every reason to be there. Regular feelings of “I suck at this” are not a flaw, not a personal tragedy, not a sign of anything except that you know what’s good and what’s not.

So it’s another one of those points of natural friction in human life where our best choice is to defy our natural inclination as a matter of habit, and create even though it hurts or scares us. “When’s the best time to practice?” a student asks the Dalai Lama. “When you don’t feel like it,” he says.

It’s not the most appealing revelation, but it simplifies things to know that bad work is a) normal and b) necessary. The volume of work Glass refers to is not going to change. It just has to be gotten into and gotten through, and most of it won’t be very good. This doesn’t make a natural dovetail with my normal strategy of avoiding everything that makes me feel bad. Not sure how it’s affecting your creative life, but I feel confident that my misery has company.

Hypothetically, then, the healthiest mindset to approach work would be to do two things. One, to welcome bad work when it does come — to love it as we might love rotten children just because they’re our own, and without regard to how others revile them. And two, to sit down and make something more often, because we understand that making well-intentioned trash moves us just as quickly up the mountain as do strokes of brilliance.

Glass’s gap reminds me of an old metaphor about writing. It’s like panning for gold. Just by getting words down, you are panning for gold, and most of it will be sand. But there are gold flecks in there. You can’t help but get better at it, and soon won’t have to go through as much sand. But sand is normal. It shouldn’t worry you, shouldn’t irritate you too much, and definitely should not convince you you’re looking in the wrong place.

Today is Raptitude’s third birthday. I feel like I’ve always done this, writing, but it’s really quite new to me. Still toddler-aged. And that’s a relief.

All I’m trying to say here, to my fellow creatives, is that it will take a while before we’re good enough for ourselves, but we don’t get closer without making more work.

And so sometimes creative pursuits feel lonely. But you’re not alone; we all share it. We all bang our heads on the same wall. Nobody will understand quite why we do it. They won’t be interested in our “sand”, and they probably won’t know sand is a necessary part of the process.

So true. Such a good point to make. It’s taken me over a year to show anyone my blog and even now reading back over the first posts to now I cringe a bit. Not only is it my creative heart on the page but all up I really only write an occasional good sentence. Those sentences make it worthwhile but I wish there were more.

Interestingly I don’t feel the same way about my photography. Probably because once I take a photo I can’t really play with it as I can with words. I can rewrite a million times to try and created something perfect and still not get there. Even today looking at my blog I wanted to rewrite so much of it because of how much I’ve learnt in the last year.

I have to say thanks for this post, it resonates so true for me at the moment. I’m overwhelmed coping with trying to change my life, create something new in my website, learn to be a single parent and manage my day job. Sometimes it feels like there’s no mental space or time for the creative stuff, the stuff I want to grow. You really do have to fight on through.

Thanks for the timely perspective :) Good luck for many more years of success with your project.

Can i ask you something? How do you realize the fact that your work can sometimes be complete bullshit ? Is there a way of testing it out.? In my creating writing process, when i get an idea , i percieve it as brilliant but after a year or so , i realize the idea was absolute crap and was just glorified by me. Probably brilliant artists who sometimes produce medicore work have this problem .Just want to know if there is a foolproof way of checking if the current idea i am having is good or not.

I notice how shitty my work is when I read really good writing. I read the New Yorker every week now and I am constantly thinking “Wow I can’t even come close to this.”

But I’m not talking about whether ideas are good ideas or not. All of us have good ideas. It takes skill to work that idea into something that other people will get. That “something” is the work, and we need experience at making work in order to make work that is effective.

Happy third birthday raptitude. By the way , for this special occasion , could u do a special something in this website. Something like FAQ section where you answer some interesting questions or something we can learn more about you. Just an idea though

Happy birthday Raptitude and many more to come. I have been through this for a while now, at first it felt awful – every “bad” thing that I created came like a dagger to my self esteem, until I realized that I’m actually getting better and better, and every thing I create – good or bad – is helping me grow.

For any creative, to ever become good at it one has to put in the time. It’s not something that can be done occasionally and it’s that simple. Gladwell’s 10,000 hours rule comes to mind. I live at bookstores and see many times books that are on the best seller list that I think elementary in language and style and shake my head at the low bar we’ve set for ourselves as far as reading good work. That’s when I cringe because I feel I write better than many of the published works I come across. Many tell me, including English professors, that it’s time for me to finish and peddle my WIP. Yet, I am always comparing myself to literary writers and how I come up short in comparison and feel I still need to hone my skill more. I was an English lit major so I know the value of a great piece of work and what that does to you. And until I feel mine can do the same, it’s unlikely I’ll take the next step. I still have not reached my 10,000 hours.

Time put in is what it’s really all about I guess. I will say though that the 10,000 hours figure (if you subscribe to it) isn’t the threshold for success, but for mastery. I am nowhere near 10,000 hours of blogging but I am making something of what I am able to do so far.

Heartening words. I am getting a little better but still struggle massively to sit down and just do my creative work – my best strategy is to give myself permission to do something really crappy. And it often really is… but sometimes it has a redeeming feature or two, providing a little bolt of almost-fulfillment and the motivation to continue.

Yes. This really touched a nerve for me. I am taking a sermon writing class at my church and woke with the idea of a sermon on making art as spiritual practice. The practice is more important than the product in terms of our development as artists and as human beings.

I wrote professionally for 11 years. I was never very good. I was good enough though, and I could move to a book series that was behind deadline and hit the ground running. My editors loved me, until their project was back on schedule anyway.

You are a terrific writer, David. Keep up the good work. You are a terrific thinker, too, and that’s half the reason you are a terrific writer. Keep up the good work, my friend.

Oh, and then there was Samuel Johnson’s opinion: No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money.

Happy third birthday, Raptitude! : ) Your caretaker is doing a terrific job, you’re one lucky blog. Hope you keep going for many more years to come!

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Oh, I can relate to The Gap. It’s so in your face that it deserves to be capitalized. I agree it’s a part of the creative process, but it can be quite the destroying one. In the end, it serves to separate those that are brave enough to plough through it, from those that aren’t confident enough and decide to pull out.

I know many people, both in the visual arts and writing scenes, that have given up because the work they create never matches the masterpiece they envisioned. Having experienced this myself, I know how frustrating it is and how easily it is to be let down by it.

But the key is to persevere; even lousy work is useful, and we mustn’t forget it’s still a part of us. Maybe our mood just wasn’t quite “in the zone” that time. It doesn’t matter – that lesser work still represents our state of mind, still represents our ideas, still has a message of its own, in short, it’s still a work of art. It just may not quite be what we were aiming for.

But hey, even with many ridiculous attempts at creating something, I’ve managed to make some pretty good work. I’m sure you will too, and that should make up for all the “failures” of the past.

Language is so powerful, as you have already shown us, your readers, over and over again. “I suck at this” is so much more personal and inflammatory than “this piece sucks”. A while back, I tried to pick up drawing – something I was very good at when I was younger- only to find that my hands have lost the “touch”. What I discovered is that I was partially motivated by the desire to be “good” at something, to have something I did be “special” and not just for the sheer joy of play. happy, happy birthday Raptitude. And thank you for joy.

Happy 3rd anniversary David! Around here that makes you a senior!
I love this whole article but especially this: “it will take a while before we’re good enough for ourselves” I’ve just finished reading Ray Bradbury’s Zen in the Art of Writing. I’m guessing you may have read it, or if not, that you would enjoy it very much. In his case he wrote a story a day. Some of us (not me) are writing a post a day! Interesting! I know I’m still (17 months in) finding my voice and my way but I’m loving it. I love this light you shed on my frustration. Thanks for that!
Lori

I first saw this Ira Glass quote on youtube. Brilliant. Our taste holds us back. Lack of taste propels others forward . . . and explains why so many “no-talents” are surprised when the American Idol judges say, “what the hell was that?” ;)

I have never been in the habit of reading Raptitude on a consistent basis since I first started reading the site. I actually believe that is a good thing though, I come to this site and I read a well written article that is more engaging than the majority of liberal studies classes. These articles give me new out looks on life to look at and examine, and for the most part try to implement them into my life as much as possible. I just wanted to take a minute to thank you David for all the invaluable insight and fuzzy feel good feelings. Happy 3rd!

My tango teacher is a volatile kind of guy. Someone, no doubt vexed by his frequent and indignant explosions, had made a copy of ‘Do you make a moral issue out of being inconvenienced?’ which I noticed one day whilst preparing to dance.
My curiosity piqued, I am now a delighted reader.
Love your work!
There is something so earnest and willing and humourous about us dwellers of the extended empire, don’t you think?….We have, thankfully, none of the burdens of being British or American…..and that seems to allow us this endearing, self deprecating and ridiculous capacity for introspection.
In between then and now, that is, finding Raptiude and this autumn morning, I have taken to writing. Loving words, writing has long been latent…..but of late, the words that had popped and bubbled from my mouth to amuse me – and sometimes others, have started to make their way on to the page. What a journey! It is yoga….
‘When is the best time to practice? When you don’t feel like it!’
Quite simply, your essay this morning was timely and reassuring. I have set myself a project, or rather, an idea from the universe pressed itself on me, an exciting and important project, and I find the path long and hard. However, this post leaves me feeling most encouraged. So, back to work. Thank you and Happy Birthday! eB

Years ago, I listened to that quasi-legitimate recording of the Beatles at the Star Club in Hamburg, Germany in 1962. If I’d been one of the patrons at that club that evening, I’d have said yeah, these guys are all right, but nothing to write home about.

I could puke thinking of all the years when I could have been writing or making pictures but didn’t because I was so afraid of failing. I’ll never get those years or opportunities back.

It’s a royal bear to get myself to write when the feeling hits, and then the tightness in the pit of my stomach hits back, or to overcome the I’m-not-worthies when I’m considering other kinds of creative projects, but by hook or by crook, I must do it.

LOVE this! I’m a photographer, singer, and songwriter. And I have struggled with the “my work sucks” mindset for as long as I’ve been doing these things. And, recently, I’ve realized that while my gifts may not yet be worthy of the Met or Carnegie Hall yet… they are real, and I do good work! Thanks for the great piece!

Congrats on Raptitude’s 3rd birthday! You are a gifted writer and someone who always has an interesting take on things. You’re right, your misery does have company…I’m right there with you. I think a lot of us creatives, whether we’re creative personally, professionally (or both), are trying to figure out what makes us tick. Even if we call ourselves a writer, do we really know our strengths or what we’re better at than any other writers? I know I’m still trying to figure a lot of that out. Thanks for sharing the Ira Glass and to a successful 3+ more years at Raptitude!

David, this was a really thoughtful followup to Glass’s essay. I think, sometimes… we need to remember our work, once we make it public, isn’t just for us. More than once, I’ve had someone compliment my work and I think, “Are you just telling me what you think I want to hear, because it’s clearly crap?” But, maybe it’s just that an outsider isn’t burdened, like we are, of the vision we set out to achieve and failed to reach. They are just seeing the work on it’s own merits. All the more reason not to be afraid to create crap.

My problem is comparing my art to someone else’s and realizing that their’s is soooo much better. If I hadn’t looked at their’s I would have remained certain that my work is indeed good. The artist in me is forever changing and morphing to fit myown own emotional need. The bottom line is continue to be curious about other’s work and continue to strive to do what satisfies you.

Hi
I think most good musicians will go through this and many give up.
I think you have to accept there is good and bad that make it(?)
If you do a lot of work it just gets better and becomes normal (try for the 10,000 hours)

Hello and my sincerest congratulations on Raptitude’s third anniversary!

I sometimes look at my drawings and see some progress. But then I look at some pro’s art and here comes disappointment.

I used to worry a lot till I realized one simple truth. This truth is that I constantly make the stupid mistake of comparing my months of experience with years of experience or experienced artists.

It’s not that another person makes better art because they are better than me as a person. It’s just that I do not have the same level of expertise as they do. And once I level up and gain the necessary skills I will be able to make quite good art.

So for now, I keep the following in my mind (and also written down on a sheet of paper):

1) my drawings match my present skill and knowledge. Tomorrow I will upgrade them and my artwork will be better.
2) my achievements are not my personality, so others are not better than me, they just put in more time.

Reminding yourself that you are a humble newbie brings relief and sparkles curiosity. Being a newbie is fun! :)

I too had read this quote recently on a social networking site, and was so glad that I had read it. Now you writing more about it, make the concept really clear for me… Just what I needed today. N happy birthday 2 Raptitude. You have no clue, the kind of differece this blog had made 2 my life.

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