Sunday, May 15, 2011

Love your enemies: kindergarten style

I don’t normally invite God into my classroom. Not only do I strongly believe in separation of church and classroom, being in an interfaith relationship increases my awareness of the subtle ways in which majority Christian culture can entangle itself in my curricular choices. Diligently, I strive to present a balance of perspectives and traditions. Last week, however, a conversation took place amongst my students that let me see how they cannot always compartmentalize their religious beliefs as we adults tend to do. And, I experienced, for the first time, how God can be present in a respectful way in my classroom.

Last week was the second to last week of school. Teachers, you know what this means: assessments, report cards, taking down work off the walls, sending mementos home, finishing that one last project, end of the year parties, yearbooks, field day, and lots of mixed emotions. The other day, those emotions got the better of my students resulting in retaliatory behavior. One child did something mean so the other did it back. Eye for an eye, right?

The moment came today when we needed to have the sit-down conversation, the “come to Jesus” moment that I always dread with my students. Here’s how it went...

“Okay, friends, we need to talk. This is important. It’s almost the last week of school and that is making us feel lots of different things. We’re happy because we have learned a lot. We’re excited about a fun summer filled with vacations, camps, and just relaxing. We’re also nervous about next year and a little sad about missing our friends. All these feelings are making us act in different ways. These emotions look different for everyone, and that is okay. Some of us are getting very quiet and calm. Others are getting loud and out of control. I’ve noticed that some of you want lots of hugs and to talk about our memories. And some are getting grumpy. As long as we don’t hurt anyone, all of these are okay. I have a question for you. When someone is mean and you’re mean back, what do you have?”

“All mean things!” they shout.

“What happens when someone is mean and the other person is nice anyway?” I ask, hoping for a similar rousing response. Instead, there was a rumble of debate.

Then, I told them the story. I told them I helped the mean ladies on Shelby Avenue who didn’t say thank you. They were rapt, drawn in to the magic of a real life Grimm-style fairy tale set in the dark with evil lurking right around the corner. I told them, even though they were not nice, I still felt good inside. The End.

I was on a roll. “So, the next time someone is mean to you, what are you going to do?”

Silence.

Then, a little girl from right beside me said, “That reminds me of what we are learning about at church!” Oh, no. This is the moment I always dread. Whenever we have civics lessons, I wait for this moment. Jesus at school – what do I do? Quick, change the subject! Usually, I would say, “how interesting that you made that connection” and then I would ramble on about how each religious tradition has its own version of the golden rule, but to each his or her own, yadda, yadda. This time, I didn’t go there. I let her speak.

“Well, this thing is a really hard thing to do, but we’re supposed to love our enemies even though they’re our enemies because we’re supposed to.”

In that moment, I felt like our class could love everyone in the whole world and that everyone in the whole world was lovable.

The children erupted into stories of their own: acts of kindness they witnessed, mostly of their parent’s actions and even some opportunities missed. They connected these stories to our service learning project. Just as our smallest acts of kindness, like collecting pennies for Habitat for Humanity, when combined with others’ makes a big difference for good, so can small acts of meanness lead to big bad things.

Their voices, the voices of children rang clear and true in my ears. In a circle of six-year-olds I heard God’s call to love one another and I couldn’t kick God out of the conversation. Each child, with all their differences, had a story to tell and a personal connection to my story. They seemed relieved to have a safe place to share their experiences of church and temple lessons learned. I don’t think this could have been contrived and I don’t know how I could ever replicate this conversation with another group of students, but it was a good reminder that I’m not in full control, I don’t always see the whole picture, and children make excellent teachers.

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Religious Terminology

chametz or chometz - the five grains that Jews are forbidden to eat during Passover. When water is added to them, they ferment, which is leavening process. It is important to Jews not to each leavened foods as a physical reminder of the Passover story. When they escaped from Egypt over 2000 years ago, they did not have time to let their bread rise, so they ate unleavened bread called matzoh. Exodus 12:14-15 proclaims the act of remembrance by excluding wheat, spelt, barley, oats and rye from your diet. We also refrain from eating rice and corn in our family, but not legumes.

Imposition of Ashes - a Catholic tradition of applying ashes to your forehead in the shape of a cross. It is received on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. The ashes are made from the palms branches used from last year's Palm Sunday service. Participants are reminded of the bittersweet nature of the Lenten season. It is a time when we mourn and celebrate simultaneously. It is also to reminds us of our own mortality here on earth and the hope of the spirit’s eternal life in heaven. This ritual practice was reintroduced to the United Methodist church about twenty years ago.

Parable of the Good Samaritan - When Jesus was asked how to earn eternal life by a lawyer, he replied with the commandment: "‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind," which comes from the Shema found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Then, he added, "you shall love your neighbor as yourself." The lawyer asked for clarification of Jesus' definition of neighbor. Jesus replied with a story. To paraphrase, there was a man injured on the side of the road. A priest, a Levite, and a Samaritan all passed him, but only the Samaritan stopped to help. The Samaritan represents the other in our lives, the one we least expect to help because we don't like them. The story highlights that everyone, even people you despise and those who despise you are your neighbors, so help them.