Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

For most parents-to-be, once they find out they’re going to have a child, the biggest concern is that the child is healthy. Sure, there may be a preference for one gender or the other, but there are so many other far more terrifying possibilities to worry about that no one in their right mind really gets upset about having a boy instead of a girl or vice versa.

But even if there are complications or issues, parents generally don’t say “Oh, my kid’s not perfect, so I’m going to toss him in the dumpster and start over”. And if they did, they would be prosecuted, jailed, and vilified. I know plenty of people who face challenges far more significant than trying to get their kids to eat broccoli — and it seems they love their kids even more for it. Challenges that include dyslexia, autism, and even DIPG, a rare form of childhood brain cancer with a 0% survival rate. Zero percent. And I’ve known two sets of parents whose children have lost or will lose their battle with the disease.

I would like to offer my sincere sympathies at this time. I am sure your daughters and the other girls involved in your recent scandal had no need or desire to have this brought up again and I know you must be feeling pain and shame as well.

Every parent must decide for themselves what they believe is the best way to raise their children. Considerations include public school versus private school versus homeschooling, attending church services versus eschewing religion, and, on an even more basic level, are kids better off as only children or do they do better with siblings.

If you’re a parent, you’ve undoubtedly heard plenty of stories of kids coming out to their parents that they are gay or lesbian. Some of them have been amusing, others endearing, and some, unfortunately, have been heartbreaking. Parents have responded with humour, with understanding, and with fear and loathing. Some parents have gone so far as to disown their children and kick them out of the house. That won’t happen in my house, but I’ll tell you that there also won’t be any “coming out” either.

As if the whole “we hate gays” atmosphere weren’t enough reason to avoid the Boy Scouts of America, there’s a whole ‘nother reason to stay away — a significant number of adult volunteers and employees of the BSA have been accused of using their position to molest boys and the organization has, in many cases, failed to report such allegations to authorities. Even worse, in more than 100 cases, the group worked to cover up the accusations. This really gives new meaning to the Boy Scout motto of “Be Prepared.”

My oldest son is turning into quite the hoofer. He’s no Gene Kelly, yet, but at only nine years old, I wouldn’t expect him to be. If he keeps at it, however — and he certainly seems to have the motivation to do so — by the time he graduates from high school he very well could be up there with the likes of Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, The Nicholas Brothers, Sandman Sims, and so on. He’s always tapping his toes and practicing his dances.

Kids like critters. Even the ones that say they don’t like them or who are scared of them are generally fascinated by them, if they can view them from an appropriate distance. So, of course, they make for great lessons — lessons the students won’t soon forget. After a day with non-human guests in the classroom, kids will rush home to breathlessly tell their parents that a lizard’s tail can grow back or that snakes lay eggs like a chicken. So why would anyone get upset about a lesson featuring geckos and clownfish?

Even if you’ve never been to a Hooters restaurant and know nothing about the chain of eateries, chances are you can guess what draws people to them. Sure, I’ve heard tell the chicken wings are good, but it’s not wings that people think of when they think “hooters”. Indeed, the company has been successfully sued by men for not being hired as waitstaff and the employee handbook at one time allegedly required female employees to acknowledge and accept that “the essence of the Hooters concept is entertainment through female sex appeal.”

So now that you have kids, chances are you’re stuck driving a minivan a fair bit of the time. They handle poorly, they’re ugly, and they’re not exactly manly. I suspect most guys would jump at the chance to drive a sports car or pick-up truck instead. The problem is that very few vehicles will haul a whole mess of kids as efficiently and as affordably as a minivan. But don’t give up hope, dads — Nissan’s got your back.

If you want to know if your kids are going to be the sort that sleep around or the kind that prefers long-term relationships, you might just want to have them get a DNA test. Even if they’re still too young to know about such things, you can still get some idea of what they’ll be like. And, if you’re not happy with what you find out, it’s your own fault. After all, they got their genes from you.

I try hard to avoid gender stereotypes with my kids. I know full well that my career over the last 30 years as a computer programmer was made possible by a woman. I also know that one the most hardcore overland adventurers I know is a woman. There seem to be a lot more male chefs on TV than women. And my daughter continually amazes me with her Herculean strength, even as my son impresses me with his empathy. And yet, it seems, children pick up on stereotypes as early as preschool even from the most innocent comments. Yes, it turns out that even “Good morning, boys and girls” is enough to induce gender awareness in preschoolers.