Noble Cricket Patron Indicted in Big Mix-Up

Cricket-loving billionaire Allen Stanford, dubbed "Mini-Madoff" by hypemongers like us after allegedly scamming $8 billion from investors in a Ponzi scheme, has finally been indicted. He surrendered to the Feds late yesterday. Of course, he is innocent.

Stanford has consistently denied that he would ever, ever do something bad, like run a multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme. He even cried about it on the news. Regulators say he sold CDs that paid unusually high rates of return to investors around the world, telling them that their assets were in conservative, liquid investments—when they were actually in real estate and other risky ventures, which crashed and brought down the whole scam. It's all false though. Not only because Christians are involved, but because his lawyer says so: