The CDC wants organ donors to get tested for HIV, on account of how people can get HIV like that. Seems like a good idea. It does.

Eating fish will help you "ward off" eye disease. But it does nothing to "ward off" piranhas, enraged at your butchering of their fellow fish, swimming directly at your eyeballs, ravenous for their disease-free succulence.

An FDA panel that is maybe just a wee bit, somewhat, not completely disfavorable to big tobacco, said that yes, menthol cigarettes are bad for people, but stopped short of saying they should be taken off the market. They have the freshness in the taste! Consider that!

Did you know they let stories about "fecal incontinence" show up right there in Google News, where any child could read them? Well, they do.

Most New Yorkers eat twice as much salt as they should. God. Damn. It. God damn it. Goddamit. Do you people ever listen? Ever? Or just sit in your own little world made of "seasoning salt" packets? I asked you a question.