Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. Aristotle

bipolar

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Today was a terrible day for being outside. I live in Austin,Texas where every year the seasonal allergies kill me. No joke cedar pollen is horrible this time of year. Everyday I feel tired and all I want to do is sleep. Remember that post where I told you all about my daughter? Well the joys of being impulsive can sometimes bring good things. Where the thoughts of a person with bipolar disorder go and how they are processed and perceived is not at all what we would normally do. But if it is used in a positive way they show you a thing or two. My daughter decided to surprise me with two little chicks! I had already decided I wanted a couple of chickens but as with any animal I like to be prepared for them. She tells me “they are like kids mom, they don’t come with instructions you just raise them” She is 23 years old and I swear sometimes I think she is still a teenager. Now I am the proud mother of two chicks and I have no idea what the hell I am supposed to be doing with them. Thank God for Youtube and Google! Stick with me and find out how great this can be. If you have any comments or advice on how to raise chick I am all ears!

This past Christmas I turned 45. Age is just a number to me now, mostly because it’s how I feel that determines my view on age. Besides, I couldn’t tell you how any age feels beyond my 45 years and 21 days. What I know for certain, is that age is all about you and how you view life.

I was hoping this year was better than the last 5 years, but now I am not sure. Two days ago I was very discouraged with everything. I always preach that you just have to make yourself do what needs to be done and that’s that. I told myself that last night, but as I started to think about all the changes I need to make I was overwhelmed to say the least. I of course have the “standard” goals for the year just like every one does. I need to go to the gym, eat better and love more. But what is hard is knowing that my life and the goals I set are not at all up to me. Some would say they are, but I don’t see how. I have a wonderful husband whom I adore with all my heart and a beautiful daughter and step daughter. The thing is my daughter suffers from bipolar disorder and my step daughter is ADHD. I am overwhelmed at times. My daughter is 23 and a great being but the impulsive and reckless nature of the disorder can really be devastating, not only for the family but for her. My step daughter is 12 and a very creative girl who is very intelligent but her grades would have you believe something else. I adore her father and to tell you the truth he is a God send. Imagine having not only the same things in common but also being able to help each other through raising our daughters without reproach. When couples with children re marry the one thing that is most difficult is being able to relate to the others child. Aside from being the natural parents, you don’t see it much and I am lucky to have that with him. It not only helps us but makes out relationship stronger.

I will leave you all with this. Always tell yourself that life is only what you make of it and that is no joke. Instead of looking at things and trying to change them stop and reflect on what you can live with under the circumstances. It is the only way to step back and breath. This is one of my goals this year. What can I truly live with and what do I need to work on. This includes my job as a mother and a wife. It is something small to look forward to when it seems like there is nothing to look forward to.