This
may make me a bad person, but I get a warm feeling in the center of my soul
when I watch right-wing maniacs freak out in frustration and lose their
so-called minds. It just makes me smile.

Two
examples of this came rolling down the mountain in the last day. When the
citizens of Dover, PA, decided in the elections this past Tuesday to give the
boot to a bunch of Intelligent Design golems who had boll-weeviled their way
onto the school board, Mr. Robertson fell off the planet. "I'd like to say
to the good citizens of Dover," saith Pat on his
television show, "if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God,
you just rejected Him from your city. And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you
when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do,
just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case,
don't ask for His help because he might not be there."

If
any of the good people in Dover are
concerned about this, they should put their fears to rest. This condemnation
came from the fellow who said Orlando
would be obliterated by "earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a
meteor" for flying rainbow flags to mark the annual Gay Days celebration
at Disney World in 1998. The last time I checked, Orlando remains unsmited by the wrath of
God.

On
the heels of Robertson's magically deranged denunciation of Dover came the ever-insane Bill
O'Reilly, who decided the city of San Francisco needs to be destroyed. The citizens of that glorious city
decided in last Tuesday's elections to ban military recruiting in public
schools, and to ban handgun ownership in the city. "You want to be your
own country?" frothed Bill. "Go right ahead. And if al Qaeda comes in
here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to
say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the CoitTower? Go ahead."

For
the record, CoitTower was erected to honor the firefighters who fought the
flames unleashed upon San
Francisco in the
'06 quake. Not very nice, Billy-boy.

Why
are these two men, along with their like-minded cadre of right-wing goofballs,
having such bad hair days all of a sudden? It might have something to do with
the turning of a number of worms in last Tuesday's elections. Beyond the epic
victories of Mr. Kaine in Virginia and Mr. Corzine in New Jersey, beyond the utterly humiliating
bag of defeat handed to the Governator in California, beyond the defeat of an anti-gay ballot initiative in Maine, there were these moments of
glory, as reported by Mark Green in the Huffington Post:

In
the 94th District legislative race in Missouri, Democrat Jane Bogetto stunned locals with a 58 percent victory,
becoming the first Democrat to win the seat in 58 years. In Erie County, New York, Mark Polocarz, a young Kerry '04 activist, became the
first Democrat to capture the county comptroller's race in 30 years, winning
easily by 18 percentage points. In Suffolk County, New
York, Democrat
Kathleen Rice defeated 30-year incumbent Dennis Dillon for DA, and Brian Foley
got elected town supervisor of Brookhaven, the country's largest township,
after a 30-year reign. In St. Paul, Minnesota, Democratic mayor Randy Kelly
lost 2-1 to another Democrat because Kelly had crossed party lines to endorse
President Bush in 2004. In Corning, New York, Democrat Frank Coccho, a
self-employed plumber, became the first Democratic mayor in 50 years.

The
list goes on. To top all this off, the Bush administration is under withering
assault from all directions. The nomination of Harriet Miers exploded in a
blaze of disgrace, Scooter Libby and Tom DeLay are contemplating plea
agreements to avoid prison time, the GOP budget talks have fallen apart after a
revolt by party moderates, Patrick Fitzgerald is still crouched in the tall
grass, and a vast majority of the country has come to the conclusion that the
war in Iraq, indeed the entire term of Bush's tenure, has been an awful,
bloody, wretched waste of time.

No
wonder the cretins are going bananas. Like I said, it just gives me a warm
feeling.

You
wouldn't know the fortunes of these frauds are sinking like a stone in water
had you listened to Mr. Bush's speech from Pennsylvania on Friday. According to George, everything's comin' up
Millhouse. The march of freedom continues, he said, and Iraq is doing great. Someone should
whisper this into the ears of the forty-two people who were breakfasting in a Baghdad restaurant on Thursday when it
was bombed. They won't hear it, because they're dead, but it'd be nice for them
to know that things are going so smoothly.

Ready
for a dumb joke? Here goes: How do you know George W. Bush is lying? His lips
are moving.

Speaking
of dumb jokes, George also attempted in this speech to stifle the criticism
coming his way from Democrats who have been smelling blood for weeks now.
Accusing them of "rewriting history," Bush went so far as to quote
John Kerry's comments from the Iraq War Resolution vote in 2003, claiming his
former opponent and 100 other Democrats supported his invasion of Iraq. Too bad for George that people
tend to write important things down. "I will support a multilateral effort
to disarm him by force," said Kerry at the time," if we ever exhaust
those other options, as the President has promised, but I will not support a
unilateral US war against Iraq unless that threat is imminent and the
multilateral effort has not proven possible under any circumstances."

You
broke that promise, George, when you attacked and finally evicted Hans Blix and
his weapons inspectors for not finding the weapons you promised were there. You
broke that promise, George, when you scared the living cheese out of the
American public with dire yet wildly unsubstantiated reports of imminent doom
to get the war you wanted. You broke that promise when you used September 11
against the American people for this purpose.

Speaking
of the Democrats, it was Senator Kennedy who was first on the wires with a
response to the bag of gibberish dropped on the country in that speech.
"It is deeply regrettable," said Kennedy, "that the president is
using Veterans Day as a campaign-like attempt to rebuild his own credibility by
tearing down those who seek the truth about the clear manipulation of
intelligence in the run-up to the Iraq war. Instead of providing open and honest answers about how we will
achieve success in Iraq and allow our troops to begin to
come home, the president reverted to the same manipulation of facts to justify
a war we never should have fought."

In
the end, however, all anyone needed to see in that speech was the banner
hanging behind Mr. Bush as he spoke. It read "Strategy for Victory,"
which is a hell of a long chalk from "Mission Accomplished." Remember
that? On that day, more than two years and two thousand American soldiers gone now,
he said, "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United
States and our
allies have prevailed."

How
do you know he's lying? His lips are moving. Thankfully for the country, the
world and the future, most everyone who sees those lips moving knows they are
being sold up the river. It does give me a warm feeling indeed.