Followers

Monday, June 8, 2009

This is an issue near and dear to my heart, and it's nice to see that the secular world is paying attention to it, too.

Sort of along the same lines of the article, I have noticed lately that if you are dating (which means you are in a serious relationship, in my book) or engaged, there are few social groups reserved for you. It is the small things such as when I am in the doctor's office filling out a form that requires me to check "single/separated" or "married"; well I am definitely not the latter, but I am definitely not the former either. What about "in a relationship"? Or, the more politically correct but much less charming "in a monogamous relationship"? I can also see it in the larger things, such as when the churches I attend offer "singles" Bible studies, and they offer "married couples" Bible studies...but nothing for those of us in between. Tyson and I share a much closer relationship than many married couples I know, and I would love to be able to attend a Bible study with him. Not to mention that if those types of bonds are strengthened now, in the dating/pre-marriage stage, there is a great foundation already lain for marriage.

Now, since I have been thinking about this for a while, I have determined that it is simply the high risk of these types of social groups being broken up that prevents their creation in the first place. People that are dating and even engaged have a much greater propensity to be broken up than those that have already made that commitment or have never made it in the first place. If a couple breaks up, that would greatly change the dynamic of the group, and could leave the others feeling awkward or forced to choose sides. These groups also would have a high rate of change, as people would constantly be added and removed from the group-whether because of a broken-off relationship or because they get married and join a new group.

At any rate, it would be nice to have some sort of group to cater to this stage in life, particularly in the church. Right now it feels like a tottering sort of balance-definitely not single but not quite married yet, either.