Holiday spirit without a price tag

Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales broke records in 2011, reminding us that consumerism dominates during the holiday season. Gift-giving can be a positive experience, but pressure to spend during tough times can be stressful. Does anyone else throw up in their mouth, just a little, when they see one of those Lexus December to Remember ads? When did giving a ribbon-wrapped luxury car become a normative holiday experience?

Peace, joy and goodwill don’t necessarily require spending, and being open to alternatives to buying and stuffing ourselves may reduce stress during a time known for holiday blues.

Peace: Harmony in personal relations is one of the definitions of peace, and this may be characterized by healthy or newly healed relationships. A gesture that goes a long way towards peace is the act of forgiveness. Aside from promoting healthier relationships, forgiveness may also decrease anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, and lower risk of alcohol and substance use. I once heard that holding onto resentment is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. While it’s a challenge to let go sometimes, one who tries to forgive may increase her well-being while embracing holiday spirit.

Joy: An emotion evoked by well-being or success, joy can be experienced by a variety of means. Martin Seligman is a psychologist who has introduced a theory of well-being, proposing five measurable elements: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and purpose, and accomplishment. By choosing a social activity or taking part in a tradition that increases these elements, one may feel delight without having to spend. Christmas carolers are a rare sight, but participating in a caroling expedition might be considered an example of a tradition that increases positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and purpose, and accomplishment. A White Elephant gift exchange, using ‘gifts’ that do not necessarily have to be purchased, is another way to share laughter and joy while affecting relationships.

Goodwill: Psychological egoism posits that we are always motivated by self-interest, even in acts of altruism – and there may be some truth to that. Concern for the welfare of others can lead to acts of goodwill that may, in turn, help us feel good. Another way to look at is that by helping members of the community, we help the health of the community as a whole, which, in turn, helps us. Research continues to explore whether altruism and volunteering may be linked to longevity. Some local volunteer programs designed to help the needy include St. Anthony‘s, Project Open Hand, Glide Memorial Church, and San Francisco Food Bank.