A Top's Eye VIew.
I hope this will be fun, funny, complicated, opinionated and occasionally irritating. Say what you will. Agree, disagree, complain, rant, rave. It's fine. If I say something that offends you, go somewhere else. If you agree with me or any of my musings, please share this with your lifestyle compatriots.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Saturday night Beth is back in town and we'll be meeting up for another evening. Hanging out, dinner and a scene. I'm looking forward to this. At FMS (as described in my trip report here), we upped the ante for our scenes with a harsh, tough, intense scene that really informed me how far I could push--how far we could go in intensity. We've talked since and decided that level of intensity--pushed even further--is in order. She needs it and I want to do it. In some ways, I think we both need it.

But it's more than the scene. There's some pushing Beth needs--pushing in a place of potentially significant discomfort for her. I won't go into details here (at least not yet), but this scene will push us both in different ways.

I'm on edge (not in a negative way--more like on the edge of my seat) for the scene, and thought Beth hasn't revealed it yet, I'm certain she'll be getting nervous soon. if she's not already.

I'll report on our evening and our scene on Sunday (Monday at the latest as I'm traveling Sunday on business). I can't wait to see her and can't wait to see what happens when this scene plays out...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I was talking to a friend on FL yesterday about BDSM versus spanking. I told her Iwas amazed, in going to our first spanking party and starting to make friends with some spankos, the perceived differences between spankos and BDSMers. We're all kinksters. (I've blogged about this before, early on in my blog, but I'm too lazy to search it out right now.)

But the spankos look down their noses at BDSMers. "We're not like THAT!" they say. "We're ABOVE that WEIRD stuff!" they claim. When I scoffed and laughed they all looked at me oddly. "What's the difference?" I said, a vocal and self-proclaimed BDSMer. What it boiled down to, really, were a few things (some of which were splitting hairs):

Most spanko bottoms don't see themselves as masochists. This comes from a belief (IMHO) that their interest is in spanking as a disciplinary thing, as an age-play thing or as a pain thing, but many I've "interviewed" on the subject see thier interests as far from masochistic. "I'm not into pain, I just like spanking." I've heard that soooo many times.

Most spankos don't believe they're into the protocols often associated with BDSM, particularly in D/s relationships. I laugh here. Every time. They see their own protocols ("I brat, he spanks!") as something far from protocol. Now, I haven't talked to many in these odd "protective" relationships in the spanko scene (older mean with one or more younger women under then "protection" or just beholden to them in some unknown/unclear way.)

Most spankos see what they do as "light" and what BDSMers do as "dark." Certainly, parties are fun, frivolous affairs where it's easy to step up to someone and say, "Hey, we're all here for the same reason. Can I spank you?" And away you go into the next room for something light, something fun, something hard--whatever. They see BDSM as being standoffish, full of rigor and lacking real connection or emotion. And you know what? For the most part, on this one, they're right! I always point out that BDSM can be dangerous! Communication, negotiation, discussion is incredibly important in BDSM, otherwise someone could get hurt! In spanking, what can go wrong (particularly, again, at a party)? There are people around, you can have your butt smacked. If it doesn't work, you say, "hey!"

The REALLY funny thing is that most "pure spankos" I've played with privately have been more than happy to dabble in aspects of BDSM--flogging, caning of parts others than the bottom, sensation play, whatever. I've been pleased to "open the door" to the BDSM world for many people who felt they were pure spankos.

And in terms of "party friends" I think almost ALL the BDSMers have gravitated to one another because we all share the same interests but also appreciate "the lightness of being" we all experience at spanking parties. In fact, I can't think of a single person I've developed a relationship with (bottom-wise) in the spanking scene I'd call "pure spanko." Period.

That's all seen through my own leather-colored glasses, mind you. I'm sure others see it a different way. I know a few BDSMers who've not liked the spanko experience. OK. Fine. But for me, the friendliness, openness and frankness of the scene is highly appealing. I'm not really into age play, role play or school girl stuff, though the anal, discipline and some aspects of protocol are highly appealing to me.

Friday, June 17, 2011

It's nice when me and my blog get mentioned elsewhere. Some of my dearest friends has always been sweeties about cross-promoting my blog. I've been lucky enough to get Chrossed twice in about a week (once for my odd missive on trying to find crops and whips at an equestrian store and my recent FMS trip report (with a lovely series of progression shots of Beth's bum from party start to finish). As I mentioned in that report, Kay asked me to help "pose" for a pic of me spanking her for the London Tanners website's FMS report and I pleased to say the pic and a brief description is now up on their site. I was happy to help with the pic and even happier to get a chance to spank Kay with my cinder block-hardened hand. (Also, very straight-up of her to include a link to my party report! Thanks, Kay!)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

So I'm in Switzerland on business in a town outside of Geneva. What's the name of the town? Ouchy. I was laughing at the irony of the name. Seems like a good place for a spanking or BDSM scene. Of course, I'm sure the local fondue-loving Swiss don't get it.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Two quick editorial notes: 1. If I failed to mention you by name, I apologize but I err on the side of caution. 2. The timeline of events may be screwed up. Since I started my blog I started taking "party notes" on my iPhone to refresh my memory of the order of activities, what I did and who I spanked but (and for the life of me I don't know why!) I forgot to take notes this party. Sooo...some of the events and times likely won't line up with actual events. So if I say I spanked you Friday and I really spanked you Saturday don't get all up in a tizz about it--just the weekend going to mush in my head post-party.

Thursday Continued:I failed to mention that Thursday as soon as we arrived at the hotel we ran into our friends J and Connie from L.A. (and our regular dungeon, the Lair) and they were kind enough to take us to the grocery store to buy supplies). I also didn't mention the bedtime spanking I gave Beth late that night. She was tired and I put her to bed, warming her up further.

Friday:Friday started with a late breakfast in the room with Gia then just lazing around before a group got together to go to lunch. We walked down to the BBQ place a few doors down. (Fan-fucking-tastic barbeque! And the pulled pork with the vinegar BBQ sauce? Killer!) Hung out with friends in the afternoon, went and provided a little more "room service" (that's a scene, pervs!) with Beth, a fun hand spanking to pace her for the weekend.

Evening registration and vendor fair time! It was great to see friends and familiar faces and the mixer was fun, finding odd facts in common with bottoms. The best was D's--she and I had a great odd fact in common: we interrupted Michael & Kate having sex at SL last year! I picked up a dastardly new implement from London Tanner. It's hard for me to avoid buying something from them.

After the vendor fair it was up to the suite parties. Soon I was spanking Missy and others, but I sought out Connie with my laser sights. We'd never actually played, even though we've known each other almost 2 1/2 years, and we had come to the conclusion on FL that the time had come. Before she could find me I grabbed her and took her to the suite bedroom where we had a most excellent spanking scene, if I do say so myself (and thanks Connie for being so patient!).

Beth, Day 1 of the FMS Party

Saturday:Saturday began waaay too early (even though I got up at 10 am). Morning fun began with Are You Smarter Than A Top in which ten tops (including yours truly) paired off against ten bottoms to see who was smarter. The questions started off legit, and to be honest, the bottoms were winning by a landslide by the time it got to the final lightning round. Then, it was all about betting points and a final question. The bottoms chose to bet only a small, conservative amount of points. The tops were all in, risking all the points we had earned. The final questions? Bottoms: How long does it take the space station to orbit the Earth? They got it wrong (it's something like 92 minutes). The tops got the question: How long does it take the Earth to orbit the sun? There was much brouhaha at that point what with the question being so easy and all, but in the end it didn't matter how easy or hard the question was, it was all about what you were willing to bet. Our bet got us to win--and well earned, too if I do say so myself. The bottoms "complained" with a barrage of hard candies, carelessly thrown like so much sugary shrapnel at the tops. A good time was had by all, I would say.

Then off to lunch with the gang at a great waterside fish place. Hanging out with folks, chatting, laughing and telling jokes was a great time! In the afternoon it was poolside for tropical drinks with Beth and CeeCee and before too long it was time for dinner and games. Strict Dave had a musical chairs game that got downright brutal, with bottoms pushing each other off top's "seats" (read=laps) to gain a final spot. It ended with Alona and another player (sorry, I don't recall who) rolling on the floor like two roller derby girls! Then it was onto Who's Ass Is It Anyway? (or something along those lines), a game in which Dave strung a curtain, had bottoms press their, well, bottoms against the curtain and have men feel them to see if they could guess who's butts they were (in order, no less!).

After all the fun it was onto the suite parties where I played briefly with Kay, mostly so she could get a photo for the London Tanners website since her camera had died, and she had wanted to get a photo of her and Richard Windsor, but when she had returned with a new camera RIchard was gone. So, just to be nice, we posed and I got to smack Kay a bit for the camera. Fun!

In the other suite, Dave had set up his spanking bench and before long I had coaxed Beth onto it, pulling up her skirt and laying into her rather fiercely. (I only knew it was fierce by the reactions of the onlookers!) Both Beth and I agreed later that it was pretty damn exciting to have the spectators enjoying themselves. Talked, snacked, hung out and then as the night wore into morning played with Beth briefly one more time in one of the suite bedrooms, giving her a good hand spanking. In bed by 3 am.

Beth, Day 2

Sunday:Sunday began waaaay to early as Gia had a whip scene in our room at 9:15. ARGH! I got up, grabbed coffee and was at Strict Dave's CP Court, which I had to be at on time because I had a case on the docket against Sarah Rocks. See, Sarah had worn jeans to the mixer Friday night (jeans! jeans?? who wears jeans to a spanking party???) and her pockets on the bottom had a metal button. During the mixer I got to spank her and my thumb hit that metal button. The next day, my thumb was bruised. Way to go, Sarah! (A bruised thumb! At a spanking party!) So I brought her up on negligence. (By the way, I realize that any bottoms reading this won't feel a damn bit sorry for me and my thumb's plight. I get it. Go to hell, the lot of you!) In the end, I lost, but when given 10 minutes personal service to Sarah Rocks, did I really lose?

The group went to lunch at IHOP (I wanted to write iHOP--thanks for that, Apple!) and came back for a relaxing afternoon. It was time for my big scene with Beth. We'd played for the most part in suites, but this was something we'd planned for some time. It was going to be a harsh, hard and really pushing Beth's limits of tolerance. We used many implements--crops, straps, paddles, hand, wood, leather, carbon fibre cane, the "canemore," Old HIckory, sensation play implements, fur, ice, devil's tail, dragon's tail, slappers--it was long, and as Beth would say, "hurty." But she came through in flying colors and I was very proud of her. She had asked for this scene, but it was a tough one to get through for her, being stoic and rarely allowing herself to be pushed too far. (She might describe this attitude differently, but this is the best I've got to describe it.) After, I held her and let her know she was okay.

Soon it was dinner time and the "stragglers" all went to an eclectic restaurant down the street and then back to play with Kate for an hour of so of fun, communicative play. After, we all went to Dave & Stacy's for spanking games (Apples to Apples with consequences). I was wiped and turned in about 2 am (though the games with Dave, Stacy, Gia, J, Connie, Michelle, Aurora and others went on until about 4:30 am!), saying goodnight to all.

Beth, Day 3--post "big scene"

I smacked Beth's thigh and was pleased with the handprint that appeared. The fingers, in white in the middle, looked like crazy skeleton fingers. I had to snap a pic!

Monday:In the morning on Monday we got up and packed--time to head home and back to reality.

Once again, it was a wonderful four days with good friends, fun play, great camaraderie, lots of laughs, fun games and meeting new friends. To all those I got to get to know better (some new, some old friends) it was great to talk, share, learn and share. Thanks for making me feel at home and for being my friends.

To the Organizers of FMS' Tropical Beach Party: Way to go!!! What a hell of a party. Just great. The group was fantastic. The size intimate and friendly. The activities fun. I am soooo looking forward to next year (first week in June!) in Coco Beach! I think it's going to be a fabulous "reboot" of the FMS party! Way to go! You worked hard and it showed, Amy Lynn & Larry!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I still don't have my FMS Tropical Beach Party report done (I've been buried at work today and was too worn out last night to get it done). So...I'll placate all of you with a brief photo essay from SSNY's Boardwalk Badness Weekend five weeks ago.

See, I traveled on business immediately after BBW and I hastily pulled together a trip report because I knew when I got to my destination my site would be blocked there. I got sucked into work, work, work and never got around to adding the following. Until I get the FMS report done, enjoy...

In Atlantic City I had a great and very rough scene with Lizzie to cap our weekend. She allowed me take some pics and share them with you all.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

So we arrived this evening to the Sandpiper Resort at FMS, ran instantly into our two friends from Los Angeles (long way to go to see them!) and did some marketing for waters, breakfast stuff, etc. Ran into Beth and friends in the lobby (and I totally surprised her by sneaking up behind her when she was checking in). Went to a quiet dinner, just Gia and I, then I had some work to catch up on and then headed up to the early, pre-party suite party where a bunch of folks (Richard Windsor, John from NYC, others) were hanging out enjoying the pleasant evening air and ocean breeze. A lot of fun camaraderie, laughs and great conversations, then I took Beth back to her room and gave her a bedtime spanking and headed off to my room.

The good news is I'm not going to have to head off to Europe from FMS Monday. Instead, I get to fly home, go back to work Tuesday and Wednesday, then head off to the Middle East Thursday, onto Europe from there and then either back home or onto China (we'll see what happens between now and mid-June!). Nothing is ever boring...

About Me

Motto: Conversio Virium (latin for "exchange of forces")
I am a MDHL (Male Dominant Het Leather) and am a proud member of the Monarchs. I am a Master and daddy to Lizzie.
I believe discipline, caring attention, focused instruction and mastery of myself and my sub are the first steps in a meaningful D/s relationship. I'm enjoy bondage, impact play, spanking, erotic humiliation, humiliation & debasing, and scenes mixing sex and delivery of pain. I feel true protocol comes from respect, trust, communication and understanding.
Because of my work and family I live the lifestyle 24/7 as best I can and am happy to have the balance I have.
I enjoy not just finding play partners but meeting new people, making new friends and appreciating the connections that come from that. The serendipity I discover in meeting great people in the scene has been a pleasant surprise.