Oh, Dallas. I know we’re supposed to be shocked (shocked!) that Rebecca and Tommy aren’t really siblings, but we all kinda suspected it, right? Of course, now it explains why Rebecca wouldn’t just go to Christopher and tell him that Tommy is trying to steal the plans for his technology that I could take the time to rewind and describe accurately but instead I’ll leave it vague. Tommy would tell Christopher that he and Rebecca were lovers, which I presume means she was in on the plan to steal from him all along. I do believe she fell in love with Christopher along the way and stopped sleeping with Tommy, but no way Christopher can get past that lie. Let’s dig in.

Loved John Ross’ steamy mug shot and the fact that he took off his button down shirt for it. Simple black V-neck T-shirt is definitely the way to go. He was booked on murder charges after the cops couldn’t find the surveillance footage from Marta’s room and he wouldn’t tell them about Vicente’s men. Sue Ellen wanted to help, or at least call J.R., but John Ross didn’t want her threatening her gubernatorial campaign (too late, I imagine his arrest itself made headlines) or involving his daddy. He wanted to clean this mess up himself since he started it by boinking Marta, a transgression he wanted to keep from Elena.

Everyone was worried about John Ross but Christopher, who we learned has a douchey Ewing 6 license plate. In Christopher’s mind, you play with snakes long enough, you get bit. He also had other stuff to worry about, like asking the sheriff to run a background check on Rebecca and turning down the offer from an Exxon guy who didn’t bother to make an appointment, just showed up, asking to buy the exclusive rights to Christopher’s technology.

Sometimes John Ross can be so stupid. Maybe he was off his game because even he couldn’t pull off an orange jumpsuit, but you don’t tell a man like Vicente you’re going to rat him out. Have you not seen any mobster movie? And backing up, we all knew Vicente was the kind of man who would kill Marta, and she was dangerous. Regardless, John Ross made the threat to come clean to the cops about the fraud and Marta’s death, and Vicente refused to give him the footage and threatened to alter it to incriminate John Ross further. Vicente was tired of waiting for his oil, too, so John Ross’ time was up.

Vicente went to see Bobby, who I think should have been a little more clear about the fact that John Ross didn’t know Bobby owned the mineral rights when the deal was done. With Bobby still refusing to let anyone drill on Southfork, Vicente had two Latino inmates beat the crap out of John Ross while the three of them were just hanging out outside the cells. Strange, but okay. That was actually a pretty brutal scene to watch. Well done. I may have yelled “Not the face!” more than once. The message was clear: Either John Ross gets Bobby to let them drill, or they kill John Ross.