Well, you could actually eat some raw chicken or something. Since you're not a good actor, I would suggest actually making yourself sick. Do it with some raw chicken, or I am sure I could send you some stuff to make you ill for 24 hours...
+3

Ok bad acting...Eat a lot of shellfish the night before and then actually eat a bad clam or mussel. This will absolutly get you out of any and all the next day. The catch is you might also be praying for death. Use at your own risk.

How about just doing the mature thing and telling the bridal party or kin the truth--that you prefer not to attend. You're gonna dig yourself in deep...the first lie will produce a second lie which begets a third ...all to keep the first lie in place. Truth has a way of sifting through the layers of bs.

you would rather be sick then go to a wedding?? are you crazy? whos wedding is it. just tell them youve been throwing up all morning and you have bad diraeah, if you use the phone there is no acting involved! just a few lies
or eat mouldy/rotten/raw food that'll work or swallow something chemical like (eg loadz of toothpaste or soap) you wont be feeling to good after that, or drink loads the night before untill your sick

Why don't you just be ADULT about this and send your regreats and NOT go .... ?
I do NOT attend weddings , don't like them for some reason ; so when I get invited to one ; I send a small note with my congratulations etc ..wishing the couple a Happy Life ..BUT I do not go ... +5

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