CHEATING? Is it really that bad?

My opinion on cheating is that anything from ‘sexting’ onwards whilst in an exclusive relationship is cheating. You are a cheat if you retaliate to cheating, and you are a cheat if you use it as a method to leave an unhealthy relationship. But my opinion is not necessarily the same as others, so I recently sent out a request for volunteers to look into the way that couples interact, communicate, and more importantly what they tell other people or may do with other people.

I also wanted to know (considering the current international media coverage) what people\s opinions on LGBTQ relationships was. The general census was that people had either considered a same sex relationship, knew people who were and didn’t think of it as anything other than ‘normal’ and those who really weren’t fussed as long as it wasn’t in their faces.

I asked 10 questions to multiple people, but for the purposes of this article have picked out two of my volunteers. As per my guidelines when I listed my article, all contributors are anonymous, listed only by a christian name initial.

How old are you and how old is your partner?

R: I am 26, my partner is 27.

H: I’m 36 and he is 32.

How did you meet?

R: We met when I was 14 at a local convention; we were friends for several years before we began dating.

H: I was working in a pub and he started coming in every lunch time. He would sit at the bar and we would do the sun dial in the paper lol.

How much time do you spend together each week?

R: Currently, we live together. We dedicate time in our day to play video games together and once a week we sit down to watch television. Despite being around each other a lot we make it a point to dedicate actual time to spend together.

H: Whenever we are home really but I try to send him out with the lads as much as possible ..I think it’s healthier to have some space.

Is there anything they do that you hate? (Remember it’s anonymous!)

R: My partner can sometimes be a bit of a homebody, and it takes a lot of effort to get them to go out which is incredibly annoying.

H: He spends too much time on his phone and forgets most things he is told.

what is your opinion on cheating?

R: I do not believe cheating is as clean cut as it is typically perceived. Yes, someone gets hurt and that is bad- ideally, you don’t want to hurt someone. but I think the context of a situation can make it sympathetic and I believe that, for some people, they view it as their only means to escape an unhealthy relationship.

H: I think that one night stands can happen, anyone can make a mistake but an on going relationship with someone else is inexcusable.

Have you ever cheated? – what happened?

R: Not in my current relationship. In a relationship in my past I sought an emotional connection I did not feel I was receiving. While I was not physically unfaithful, the intimacy I formed with someone outside my relationship caused a wound that never healed.

H: No never.

Have you been cheated on? – what happened?

R: In my younger years, but I do not remember much of it. I typically cut ties and moved on.

H: Not yet, fingers crossed!

What’s your opinion on same sex/ mixed sex couples? (whichever is not yourself)

R: Currently, I am in a “mixed set” relationship but I identify as a pansexual woman and have dated a variety of different people on the gender spectrum (cis, trans, nonbinary). I personally do not find gender to be a point of influence in my relationships.

H: I’ve had relationships with both genders so I am supportive of anyone that loves each other.

What are the qualities you like in a partner and why?

R: In general, I like someone who is physically strong and mentally ambitious.

H: Someone who is loyal, funny, loves you even when you are at you’re worst and even after years together can still surprise you.

10, what are the qualities you dislike in a partner and why?

R: The biggest quality I dislike is a close-minded individual and passive behaviour.

H: Lying, cheating and not putting equal effort into the relationship.

If you were to answer these questions what would your answers be? Why don’t you ask your followers, friends or family? Anonymous questionnaires are brilliant for allowing people to speak their thoughts without fear of being judged. Let me know if you’d like to be part of my next social article!

NB: All answers are provided by the volunteers and are no way endorsed, influenced or adapted by charlottexamy.com – all volunteers consented to their answers being used on a social domain and are aware that they will be listed as their christian initial (or name of choice).