Thursday, April 16, 2009

One of the first questions I ask parents when they come to me with family disturbances is “Who is in charge in your home?” Some are taken aback, some smirk and proudly say “I am!”, while others grow a sheepish grin and say, “I’m not sure; maybe my kids are”.

Those who believe they are in charge are often fooling themselves. Many parents would like to believe they are in charge, but when we review the reasonable expectations they should have for their children, it is often revealed that their children are allowed far too much freedom and privileges in their home without earning them.

My first assignment for parents is to ask themselves why they should be in charge–why shouldn’t the children be the masters of the home and family? Who says the parents should be the ones who lead? Usually, parents return with greater resolve when they examine the reasons why they should be at the helm of their family.

So, parents, ask yourselves: why should you be in charge? You might find some interesting answers!