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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I have a Christmas hangover!

At this very moment it is 11:00 am on the 27th of
December 2011. Thank God the Government granted us and extra public holiday, an
excellent idea as I am sure everyone is feeling somewhat like me this morning.
Thoroughly knackered from the booze/over eating/awkward conversations with cousins
you’ve never met/aunties whose names you can’t remember and present shopping
for a myriad of family members and friends.

Over the last five years, Christmas has become my least
favourite time of the year and the most stressful day for me. Anyone whose
parents are divorced and positively despise each other will know what I am
talking about. 2 X everything does not make for a jolly day.

This year, my mom and I agreed to join my BF’s family for lunch;
however my dad was here for Christmas for once (he works overseas) and so he
expected me to be there too. So I spent three hours in the morning with my dad
and his side of the family and three hours with my BF’s family and my mom.

Christmas is for kids if you ask me. We had epic Christmas jols back in the day, as
a mixed breed of Italians, Scott’s and coloureds; we are or were a HUGE family. I had about 17 cousins to play with at any
given time. Presents were plentiful and supervision was nil. All adults were
slewed.

Plenty of time on the day for sneaking ciggies, diving into
the pool on lilo’s, playing with all your toys at once and inevitably sinking
your battery operated toy car in the pool.

Now you are expected to be appropriately dressed and engage
in polite conversations. Everyone wants to know what you’re ‘doing with your
life/youth/college or lack thereof experience, they ask why you aren’t
successful/engaged/with child/thin/and rich!

Next year I am booking myself into quiet cottage somewhere
far away from this madness, where it is acceptable to stay in your pyjamas till
midday, chain smoke and drink liqueurs out of chocolate candies till completely
motherless.

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Disclaimer

All words are my own unless otherwise stated. If you would like to publish any of my columns, please contact me at jodileza@gmail.com

If you attempt to use my writing, in any way or form, without my permission, I will hunt you down and make sure you regret you ever crossed me. I am that seriaas. You should know that I am half Italian and my great grandfather was a Mafiosa, therefore, you will sleep with the fishes. Comprendo?

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