Microsoft has got into the fashion biz by plastering Bill Gates' jailbird fizzog on a new range of t-shirts.
Dubbed Softwear (see what they did there?), Redmond’s hoping to flog some Microsoft-branded clothing to the sort of people who would prefer to have Gates' visage rather than his Vista splattered across their chests.
The …

Title needed apparently

I wonder if..

...the T shirts will all be 2 sizes too big, no matter your size. You'll be forced to "upgrade" yourself with expensive takeout to fit into it. Then in two years time it will fall apart and you have to buy a new one.

Oh and don't let anyone else wear it or you'll breach the eula!

What they wont tell you is that they're made in sweat shops, my linux t-shirt is open about it's source.

What, no Hans Reiser?

@I Wonder If ...

Whereas with the linux T-shirt

* You get fifteen arm holes, none of them quite the right shape or in the right place, and have to decide yourself which two are you're going to use because they are very roughly nearest to where you might think a T-Shirt would have arm-holes.

The hole for your head is in the middle of the back. To get the optional point release with the head-hole at the top you need to sort out the shirt / trouser incompatibility, and then guess which update you need to download from a single server connected to the Internet every other Sunday, hidden behind a firewall with a random single-time password.

To generate your unique password to that server you have to be wearing your T-shirt.

If you look for support about the arm and head-holes situation you get told to WYOT; when you look that up on Weakepedia it turns out that means Weave Your Own T-shirt.

* you can only wear the T-shirt on a limited number of body shapes, none of them remotely matching your own. No jumpers, sweatshirts or coats will fit over the T-shirt; the shirt falls off if you wear the wrong trousers with the shirt; and you can't go anywhere in the shirt unless you first spend three hours on Google looking for the one pair of shoes that actually walk in a straight line with your particular shirt + trouser + underpant + haircut combination.

If you look for support about that you get told that you're a stupid l00s3r N00b for buying *that* T-shirt and that any one of twelve other suggestions are far better.

* the T-shirt looks just like a T-shirt that Microsoft or Apple manufactured in 1998, only slightly less well made. If you seek support on that you get told 'Well M$ and Crapple stole it from Paulo Alto, so, well, we thought we would too once M$ and Crapple had done the R&D and proved it worked'

and, of course,

the Ubuntu T-shirt is only available in sludge-brown. And if you complain about that you get a fifteen page explanation of how to dye T-shirts using yak's milk, pomegranate husks, and a large gnarly club with spikes in it called bash.

@@I wonder if.

The iShirt (tm).

It'll be white, of course. Plain white, with no other distinguishing features bar a small fruit logo inside the collar. It'll fit very well and be extremely comfortable in all weathers at all temperatures.

It'll be universally agreed to be the best shirt anyone's ever made anywhere ever and be available at a bargain price of $299.95 each. This will be accepted as each will come with a five year warranty.

Washing it in anything other than an iWash appliance or pressing it with anything other than an iIron will cause it to disintegrate and invalidate the warranty. The iWash will be available seperately and will not include iSoap which will be available in cartridges made from recycled iPhones at your local Apple store. Any use of third party soaps, bleaches or other cleansing agents will invalidate the warranty. The iWash will cost $9,995, the iIron $2,495 and iSoap cartriges will be $49.99 a pop.

An underground user group will prove that using Tibetan Yak's milk blended with powdered Tiger scrotum and washing your shirt in the headwaters of the Ganges by moonlight on a solstice, then laying it on a flat rock to dry naturally in the rays of the rising sun will not damage it, although it will still invalidate the warranty. iShirts from version 1.2 onwards will turn pink on contact with Yak's milk.

Apple will spend years sueing the living shit out of anyone else making plain white T-shirts for patent infringement.

Next!

equivalent Mac T-shirt?

Is it the new one I saw the Emperor in this morning?

*Note that the Windows quip was the one that pretty much nailed the joke. The Linux joke was a bit long and convoluted, but ultimately contained more actual humour. And, while this Apple-centric take on things is not gonna be as popular as the former or as varied as the latter, I'll claim that it's the best T-Shirt in the world ever cos it's so simple to understand, anyone who doesn't prefer it is completely missing out, and I don't know why I wasted my time with the other T-shirt jokes.