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Hot topic: Balance.

I felt like today's post was going to be an angry one, that when I came to sit down to write I was going to get on my high horse and shout from the tree tops about how awful the world has become and how everyone needs to start agreeing with my opinions and realizing i'm right. :p Well, then I actually sat down to write and all of a sudden I started realizing that I seemed to have contradictory thoughts to my original opinion. I came to the conclusion that I would have to take all these thoughts into consideration. Today's hot topic is about balance, just how do we find a happy medium? And is there such a thing as right and wrong anymore?

Recently, British YouTube sensation Zoella hit the headlines for posting a picture of her in bed where you could see her knickers. It kicked off a media frenzy of both people standing up for her and people bashing her for being scandalous. Zoella responded with "I hope one day we will live in a world where promoting self love & body confidence won't be sexualised or shamed" Upon coming across this news, these were my thoughts.

Thought 1: Ok really? People have to make such a big deal over nothing.Thought 2: Why as a society are people acting like posting pictures in your underwear is ok?Thought 3: She's right, let's all be confident in our bodies and in our underwear.Thought 4: Why is it that people seem to think to be "Body Confident" means showing as much skin as you can.Thought 5: Well actually, I look up to all these fitness people and they are often in short shorts and crop tops to show off their muscle.Thought 6: Bikini's are a thing so why is it such a big deal.Thought 7: But I don't want my daughter thinking that Body Confidence means taking pictures in your underwear and sharing it with the world.

As you can see, there was a lot of back and forth in my brain and it got me thinking. How do we find the right balance of right and wrong? Is there a right and wrong when it comes to posting pictures, nudity, fashion, art, music, life? I honestly don't know anymore.

I have to admit that if I had a daughter I feel I would be in two minds, if she takes pictures on holiday in a bikini then I don't think I'd find a problem with it, but if she took a picture in bed with her knickers on, I'd probably take away her phone. Of course, I'm talking my, hypothetical, daughter being a teenager not in her twenties. So is it ok that Zoella posted said picture? She's an adult. Really she can do whatever she wants, right? No matter how young her audience is, she's got older girls watching her too. Is it down to the parents of the younger kids to be aware as to what their kids are looking at and dealing with it with their own discretion?

As I touched on above, there's the other side of the coin where you have athletes and artists, such as Pink and Rhonda Rousey, who have bared skin and done so in a tasteful manner, so really does it just come down to each to their own? Does it come down to parents teaching their children the boundaries, ages limits, deciphering art and then trusting them? I think the main difference I feel ok with fitness people showing off their muscles compared to young girls showing off their underwear, is that underwear is supposed to be a private thing. Forget the lingerie ads for a minute and really think about the things in life that are supposed to be special, sacred and kept to ourselves. Is the problem really that the line has completely blurred with people oversharing? For me personally I will post gym photos, but the idea of the world seeing my Marks and Spencer's finest makes me cringe. When it comes to us adults and our actions, am I the only one who gets excited that there are parts of me that only my husband gets to see? Does that whole mindset of sentimental, private, special, love and such even exist anymore? Or is it encouraging for us grown women to post somewhat revealing photos for likes and approval? Does it help boost our self image and confidence? Does it inspire us to empower each other and connect with each other as a way of showing we love our bodies? Or is it too much? Does it take away our respect and make us vulnerable when you are allowing men/women to see you in your barest form?

I think I examine these thoughts of mine more as I get older due to wanting kids in the near future. I don't wish to be a prude when it comes to expressing yourself and I don't consider myself one. I want my kids to be as creative and imaginative as possible. In addition, I am aware that celebrity and social media does not have to be a part of everyday life, as there's a whole world of adventure and nature to explore, which I hope to show my kids and not have them glued to a phone or the TV. However, the joy of TV crushes and first favourite bands and TV shows, I want them to experience and that is when my mind will go into overdrive with the state of the music videos and shows these days, and what the world considers expression.

In my overall opinion, I know the world is changing and when comparing it to my childhood, if I'm being honest, it totally freaks me out. While I may not think what Zoella did was that bad, I do think what our younger generation is becoming accustomed to seeing is terrifying. I feel we do have to stand up to it more and yes, teach children body confidence and self love, but also remind them that being young and innocent is one of the most awesome things that you can't get back. There's no rush to grow up and become a women/man, enjoy being a kid. When you're 16, I feel the only time underwear should cross your mind is when it's giving you a giant wedgy while your busy trying to body slam your brother in the back garden! ;p

I'd love to see the world come together to protect and allow kids to be kids. That doesn't mean they aren't going to hear bad words or sexy songs, have you gone back and listened to the Spice Girls?... It's quite the shocker! :p It just means that we don't rush in trying to teach them everything under the sun about sex and make a big deal about it. Furthermore, we don't allow them to have free reign on social media at 12. When we live in a world where celebrities are getting accused of dating underage teenagers, men being called the most horrible names and being blamed because girls are dressed to the nines and do not look their age, when are we going to stop and say hello parents, be parents? When are we going to take some of the blame ourselves and teach what is right? No man would have got confused when I was a kid, I was too busy deciding what wrestling school I was going to go to than caring about they way I looked and wanting to post pictures of myself in my knickers. :p

And in regards to us adults, like the gorgeous Emma Watson states in the quote above, do you think we could maybe start empowering body confidence with our clothes on?

2 comments
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You make some really great points Lucy. I'm the same as you with posting gym photos, but I wouldn't personally post underwear photos either. It's far too private for me (even when I'm a single girl.) I'm all for body confidence and I think everyone has their own ways of finding/expressing it. For me it's easier to accept that people just have the freedom with social media to post what they want, and we can't stop them. I love Zoella and she's a role model for me, so I hate that she got shamed for the photo even when I wouldn't post that myself. Girls struggle with their bodies enough as it is, so any positive vibes are ok with me. Sorry if that was a complete ramble! Steph x. marvelsteph.blogspot.co.nz

Haha, you didn't ramble, I loved hearing your thoughts as as you can see my mind is so mixed on the matter. I totally agree with you saying that people have their own way of expressing themselves and that it's good to just leave people to do what they wish, very much like each to their own. I'm happy with that too, it's just that other side of the coin of me getting so scared about what young people are seeing and I just worry about that balance of representing body confidence with how much skin you feel comfortable showing. But I know there is so much positivity out there too and plenty of role models who show little skin! :p My mind is all over the place! Haha! :p xx

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Hi! We are Lucy and Kelly, professional wrestlers turned lifestyle bloggers. We're coffee lovers, fast talkers and never go anywhere without a notebook and pen...or each other!! "Dream Big and Be Happy."