In 10 simple points Clary Antome
explains what most current literary fiction is all about, where to look for
valuable information about humans (a difficult task, be warned) and what to
make of the endless redundancies in between.

Just follow these Reading Tips for
Aliens:

1 - Human apes are mad about
narratives, which give them the soothing impression that life makes sense. For
ages now theyíve been telling each other the wildest tales to justify their
puzzling existence and actions. Some of those tales turned out to be
particularly appealing. So humans became experts in repeating and improving
them. Modern literature is the latest milestone in that long adventure.

2 - Since there really isnít much to
life (apart from lots of conflict, squalor and confusion), literature
concentrates on a handful of themes that concern just about any organism on
planet Earth: fights for resources and territory, sexual competition,
reproduction.

3 - However, human apes believe they
are special. Unique. Totally different from all other species. They even like
to imagine that they are NOT just another animal. Most literary fiction
confirms this for them: it turns banal necessities and drives into adventure,
romance and the pursuit of happiness.

4 - Writers who create thrilling
accounts of improbable situations are highly appreciated by reading humans,
whose everyday existence is less exciting than that of fictional characters.

5 - Modern human apes are not very
eager to acknowledge that reality is mainly dreary, disappointing and difficult.

6 - Reading about idealized events
and persons provides humans with a totally different reality, far from what
they experience every day at their working places and blocks of flats. This helps them believe that in some unknown future also they may come across
something other than boredom and unpaid bills.

7 - Dull jobs and depressing blocks,
boredom and unpaid bills are NOT gripping literary themes - unless the hero
overcomes them by page 5. The writer can achieve this by introducing
a combination of motifs: sex, crime, paranormal phenomena, extreme
fun and action, unimaginable gestures of kindness and understanding and love
(or contempt and cruelty and hatred) between characters.

8 - Literary heroes are never as
unremarkably normal as the readers. Any outstanding physical or personality
feature can be explored - so long as the characters remain mysteriously
superficial and provide the reassuring feeling that something extraordinary is
happening.

9 - Although they possess big
brains, human apes are not particularly fond of using them excessively.
Therefore successful fiction appeals instead to feelings and emotions, which are a vast source of
enjoyment and relief. This provokes far less headaches and heartbreak than
reflection or (worse) mockery.

10 - Current literary fiction is
just one of the many fantastic means the human species has found to produce
beautified images of itself and its surrounding environment. Turning life
upside down makes everything not only more entertaining but also endurable.

If you want reality, why donít you go back to where
you came from?

PERPLEXED? DISHEARTENED?

Do not despair, dear Alien.

Human big brains can produce so much
variety that even in literature there have been a few attempts to deal with the
complexities of spooky reality.