My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.

Cutting

How clearly they could see inside if I could cut aside the layers of me. Tearing past the crust that life makes as it bakes us each day. I cut my flesh with a willingness that can only be found with a steady hand. Surgically removing the pain by causing pain. I feel the need to bleed it out of me. I drip the drops of life, a past life I want to forget. Forgotten it is forgot, as I fall from all I fought. Falling now, but now I’m free. Free to finally be me.

In order to begin anew, you must shed off all those former layers of who you used to be, lose your old selves, but sometimes, that’s very hard, because of the emotions we attached to those memories of our pasts…

I get it. I was never a cutter by definition, but I used pain for depression. I would punch brick walls. It is amazing what a release from mental pain it can be as bodily pain overtakes it. It’s sweet. It’s painful. It’s release.

Physical pain is SO much easier than emotional pain. I punch things too. Remind me to buy some drywall btw…for me it’s the frustration of not being able to express in words whatever crazy shit is in my head. Survival.