Blind Items Revealed

This B+ list mostly television actress who gets the + because of her hit cable show says that her boyfriend understands that she needs to sleep with other guys. She says that if she works with someone else then sex just makes things better. So, then are we going to assume she had sex with the photographer then or…?

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This just means you gotta beat that pussy up real good, so she is too sore to bang while she's at work. You know, like a chick taking the lead out of the pencil prior to a dude leaving to go to a bachelor party.

If I ever get a girlfriend I'm going to insist that she not have sex with other guys. I have a perfectly adequate dick and she's just going to have to get used to the idea of it being the only one going in any of her orifices (not sure what the plural of orifice is). Anyway, hope I get to work with Olivia some day.

I was about to give the Nobel prize for tweeting to the Count, but Harry really came through in the clutch and earned my vote. Both are entertaining knuckleheads and have made my day more than once. Kudos.

Reminds me of how you grade chickens for egg production, how many fingers between the pubic bones and between pubic bones and keel bone. 3/4 is whatcha want to get the high demand extra large and jumbo eggs.

Eep, Violet, you're right. I can see now why people get cranky, I commented approximately eleventy thousand times on that blind item, and not even one was a guess. It's a good thing I'm hilarious! I bet that would be really annoying otherwise!

Thank you Violet. Your kind words of encouragement have lifted my spirits and firmed up my resolve. Gosh darn it, I can find a girl that will overlook my 7 STDs.

Reno: "Depending on which dictionary is being read there are two options for the plural form of orifice. In general dictionaries it is listed as orifices. However in several medical dictionaries it is listed as orificia." … So I was right. It's "orifices". Also "orificia" but I don't even know how to pronounce that so "orifices" it is … I was right and you were wrongamundo.

Maybe Little Miss Smarty Pants is the one that is gong to get spanked.

Thank you Haywood. I'll put the trophy on the mantle, right beside the golf ball I found inside the muffler of a car I had about 10 years ago (I know who put it there and I got him back about a hundred times over).

maybe holder doesn't like shrimp!!shellfish allergy maybe??i guess once you see a sexy guy jerking off w/ shrimp, a guy like joel kinnaman is kind of a let down unless he brings the party platter from smith's w/ extra cocktail sauce..ya know??i think joel just doesn't want to eat shellfish.

Reno, I knew you were kidding, and I also knew as I was typing that there was a 50/50 chance that you would know that I was kidding too. Can't really explain it, but you and I always seem to be confusing the Hell out of each other with our respective and of course highly cerebral sense of humor (should that be "senses of humor" or "sense of humors" or "senses of humors" or leave it at "sense of humor"?).

@Lioness: It don't take insertion. You open the cage, put one hand on top, one on the bottom, take the chicken straight out and tuck their head between your elbow and side. Check the pubic bone distance, check the keel bone to pubic bone distance, and shove em back in the cage.

I think maybe the "I need to pfuck. Other dudes " was another way to get out of relationship because robocop. Shite. The bed and Olivia needs someone who can get her press. It was easy to sniff rc as a flop. I think she just wanted an out without seeming like such an obvious famewhore. Not like Rita whora. "You're not famous enough 4 me. I need press."

Harry, it was an hyperbolic jest on the differences in the way we spell words, eg humor/humour, apologize/apologise, that those words are so different that they're effectively gibberish – clearly nonsensical. I thought that you could do irony conversations.

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