Things We Saw Today: Fans Made the “Butthole Cut” of Cats a Reality (And It’s Horrifying!)

One memory we don't want

We could have called this edition “Things we really wish we hadn’t seen today.” But since we had to look at this, so do you.

After rumors surfaced last week that a version on 2019’s Cats existed where the cats had buttholes, which were then removed, fans clamored for Universal to “Release the butthole cut.” And who can blame them? Cats is a truly bonkers movie objectively and it, of course, makes sense that somewhere out there was a version where the singing cats with human hand, feet, boobs, and pants also had buttholes. And fans wanted to see that!

Oh, lord. We were so wrong.

Universal and director Tom Hooper didn’t listen, but some intrepid fans did and created what the public thought they wanted. So now, gaze upon the abomination of Cats: The Butthole Cut. And please, don’t say we didn’t warn you going in.

Words cannot express the horror of these images. It just gets worse and worse and it’s something I will never be able to unsee. Adding buttholes takes an already bonkers movie to a level of grotesquerie and pornographic excess that can barely be contemplated, and yet … there it is. This isn’t the Heaviside layer, it’s a level of hell heretofore unknown to animal or man.

Thank God we were spared this because we don’t want this memory to live again. Or ever.

Here are some other, less harrowing things we saw today;

It’s time to fill out your census if you haven’t done it already! Be counted! (My2020Census.gov)

Oof. Malaysia wants women to wear makeup and not nag during the quarantine. Yikes. (via NPR)

San Diego ComicCon is still on, as of now, and organizers are “hopeful” it will happen. (via TVLine)

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Jessica Mason (she/her) is a writer based in Portland, Oregon with a focus on fandom, queer representation, and amazing women in film and television. She's a trained lawyer and opera singer as well as a mom and author.