Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Will to Fight

One of the more enjoyable parts of living at the Olympic
Training Center is sitting around and swapping stories with other athletes.
Some are funny stories about life training as an elite athlete – facing difficult
conditions in other countries, having run-ins with teammates and training
partners, or sharing parts of your past that most people don’t know about. On a
night last week, the stories got pretty personal and made me think of one I
thought I should post here.

For those of you that don’t know, I grew up in
the foster care system. It was probably one of the most impactful
situations on my life. I’m going to drop a bomb on you guys
right now; I was in foster care from 6 days old until I aged out of the system
when I was 18 years old, and I will be honest, it wasn't all sunshine and
rainbows. Regardless of how it was, it certainly molded me into the man I
am today. I strongly believe grinding through the hard times growing up
makes grinding through the hard times of weightlifting a lot more manageable. I
say manageable because weightlifting isn’t just tough, it’s hands
down the hardest thing I have ever done. If you don't think weightlifting
is tough then you must not be working hard enough or just don't have a
Polish coach.

One valuable lesson I learned in foster care was
how to show some fight. I think most people would agree that I am a pretty nice
person. Like most of us I have my moments when I can be not so nice, but
that is rare. When I was in elementary school I will admit, I was a pretty
big pushover. I wasn't losing my lunch money every day but I just never stood
up for myself. I would come home a little roughed up sometimes and my foster
mom would get pretty upset with me because I would never fight back. I
just never wanted to get detention or suspended from school.

On one particular occasion I got into an
altercation with a kid who lived about a block from my house. I can't remember
what we fought over but like most fights, it
was because something totally stupid. I think it started because he said
he could beat me up and I swore he couldn't, and then one of the neighborhood
kids said to prove it and that sparked the brawl. As it turned out I was wrong,
I ended up getting my ass kicked pretty badly. When I returned home my foster
mom was furious, so furious that she said, "Take your sorry ass back
outside and fight that kid again, and don't come back until you win."

After getting worked pretty bad I wasn't looking
forward to going back outside but I feared my foster mother way more then this
little 12-year-old kid. I would like to tell you I went back outside and wiped
the floor with him but that was not the case. I put up a little more fight the
second time but in the end it was the same result. This was the trend for
months; two fights for the price of one. I know she just wanted to teach
me to be tougher but I thought she was giving me a free pass to fight as much
as I could. I grew a fighting mentality that I never knew I had.

I felt like a lot of the rage and pent up anger, about the situation I was in, was finally coming out. I would find
myself picking fights for no reason. Simple gestures would spark my aggression and
I would find myself in a fight with every kid that walked up to me. My foster mother
got pretty fed up with that real quick. I was probably getting into
fights with someone from school on a day-to-day basis. It was definitely
one of those situations when you give someone an inch and they take a
mile.

To make a long story short, my foster mother
got so fed up with me getting into fights that she went Megatron on me and I
lost the war for Cybertron (video game reference). After a few brawls with
her I hung up my gloves and stepped out of the ring for good. She
wanted me to learn how to stick up for myself and I clearly took advantage of
the situation. I don’t think I have been in any kind of fight since the 8th grade because I now see how stupid getting into fights
was. Also, being one of the stronger people in the US, I could
probably do a little damage.

The only fighting I do these days is in the weight
room. Coach Zygmunt says if someone has the will to fight anything is
possible. Maybe it’s a good thing I found weightlifting because it gives
me something to fight in. Becoming a World or Olympic Champion isn’t
easy so I will fight on.