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One of my collaborators made the excellent suggestion of having killer robots police teh Wall, so here is the model I have selected:

Also:

•••••, I’m thinking we should add some security to OUR side of teh Wall, just in case the Caligonians manage to make it past the electric fence and the drones and teh Wall itself.

I’m thinking special forces, possibly backed up by National Guard. Also, how would you feel about building a moat?

Clarification:

Well, I obviously 🙄 plan to seize control of Silicon Valley and have their servers transferred over to Jeff Bezo’s new NOVA HQ before construction of teh Wall is complete. (Bernie Sanders will be overseeing that contract.)

Vladimir Vladimirovich is a pawn of Mark Zuckerburg. The shady Silicon-sponsored Shallow-State Sacramento Shadow Government routinely interferes with Russia’s elections to keep Vlad and Medvedevevevev (Jack Dorsey’s crony) in power as a means of gathering data on how a freedom-loving people with a strong history of government transparency might respond in the event of an authoritarian takeover.

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I would like to come out and say that I support the idea of building a wall.

I just don’t think building it along our southern border is economically feasible or particularly desirable.

Instead, I support building a wall around California and Oregon.

Now I realize full well that this will mean making a few sacrifices.**

But I stand prepared to make these sacrifices in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity — because I am an American. 🇺🇸

Now, some of you may have reservations about building teh Wall because of what excommunicating these two (2) states will mean for our nation’s flag.

My fellow Americans, rest assured that I have no intention of violating the aesthetic balance of our society’s supremely sacred symbol. That would be sacrilege — possibly treason.

Instead, I submit that we grant statehood to Puerto Rico and Canada, which for too long have gone without representation in our nation’s capital. Puerto Rico has long sought statehood anyway, only to be met with the inescapable reality that fifty-one (51) stars would look HORRIBLE on our flag. And Canada has simply been too polite to ask.

My fellow Americans, our entire way of life is under attack by a savage people who wish to deprive good honest Americanfolk of our jarbs,*** our straws, and our children’s party favors. Now is not the time to be divided by petty bickering and partisan politics, but to COME TOGETHER and BUILD TEH WALL.

Because in the words of United States senator Benjamin Franklin (following the Union victory at Fort Sumter):

“United we stand. Divided we fall.”

I am going to make California pay for teh Wall.

** I have seven (7) friends in California and three in Oregon. Plus their respective wives and dogs. But freedom isn’t free.

Remember that solemn sense of reverence you felt the first time you sang “America the Beautiful” in your state-mandated music class, only to return to your regular classroom, glance at the state-mandated world map (the one yet depicting the Soviet Union, which according to the teacher was just another name for Russia), and be met with the realization that “From Sea to Shining Sea” entailed the distance between New Jersey (with its open sewage lines and state-mandated, full-service gas stations) and California — which as far as you could tell from recent family vacations was a nothing more than a vast strip-mall of Italian restaurants and tourist traps, where parents conspired with local officials to promote myths such as the existence of Disneyland and Universal Studios in hopes of keeping an entire underclass of disenfranchised children in line for the duration of the trip… Do you remember that feeling?

…I forget where I was going with this one.

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I just stumbled across an update on the case of the Nikolayev baby, which was “snatched” from its parents by police officers and placed into CPS custody because the couple wanted a second opinion on a medical procedure. Video footage of the baby being seized from its mother’s arms went viral, and people around the expressed their outrage by what appeared a flagrant display of CPS abuse of power. The young couple was portrayed in the media as loving and attentive parents, deeply concerned with the needs of their sick baby and heartbroken by California CPS’ overreaching their authority by “illegally abducting” their child without so much as a court order.

As a mother, I’d found story especially chilling, particularly the implication that the State has the power to seize one’s child on a whim. Like many, I reacted with anger and disgust towards California CPS, Sacramento police, and the hospital employees who’d “sicced” CPS on the poor family in the first place.

California CPS was almost universally condemned for their actions, ordered to return the infant, and subjected to extensive auditing. At no point did it seem that CPS may have actually been justified in their course of action… until now.

You see, it turns out that there was more to this story than was ever reported in the media. Due to privacy regulations, CPS has never been able to tell their side of the story or explain the rationale behind their decision to seize baby — nor were they able to address the factual distortions and allegations of conspiracy which spread through the press like wildfire.

But this past November, court documents were released which paint a substantially different picture of what really occurred in the case of baby Sammy Nikolayev. It now appears that CPS may have been fully justified in their actions.

Reason TV has obtained court records in the Samuel Nikolayev case that spurred a statewide audit of California’s Child Protective Services agencies. The documents reveal a sharp difference of opinion between doctors regarding the medical condition of the baby at the time he was seized from his parents without a court order, as well as allegations of parental neglect made by social workers and Sacramento County Child Protective Services (CPS).

[…]

Since then, parents Anna and Alex Nikolayev have filed a lawsuit against Sacramento County and will not comment on this story. Sacramento County Health and Human Services Director Sherri Heller also would not comment on the specifics of the case due to the pending lawsuit.

[…]

At nine days old, Samuel Nikolayev was diagnosed with Ventriculoseptial defect and Atrioseptal defect: essentially two holes in the heart requiring daily medication. For the first five months of his life, Samuel’s parents took him in for monthly checkups to monitor his progress, which improved slightly as he slowly gained weight and showed increased energy.

Still, pediatric cardiologist Dr. Hessam Fallah recommended heart surgery as soon as Sammy reached a safe weight, according to medical records. But Fallah said Anna Nikolayev expressed “doubts regarding surgery.” Fallah noted that the Nikolayevs spoke of visiting a physician while in Germany who advised against surgery until Samuel reached 8kg (17lbs). He called this advice “not valid.”

“He continues to be in significant respiratory distress. I believe there is no point in waiting longer for SAMUEL before surgical repair… I had a lengthy discussion with the mother, who is not willing to have the surgery done. I explained to her that this does not seem to be helping SAMUEL and that he may be hurt by postponing surgery and longer… I gave her names and contact information for other cardiologists in the area for a second opinion. The family is apparently planning a trip to Colorado… to come back in mid-April. I emphasized that they need to start working on a second opinion if they want to go that route and that we should not wait much longer.”

Continued:

The Nikolayevs took Sammy to Colorado to visit his grandparents, and it was on that vacation that he contracted the flu. Upon returning to Sacramento, they took Samuel to Sutter Memorial Hospital, where he was admitted to the ICU for Influenza B and “failure to thrive,” a medical term to describe an underweight baby.

[…]

Samuel Nikolayev entered Sutter Memorial Hospital on April 16, 2013 with severe flu symptoms. Seven days later, his mother would pull him out against the wishes of the medical staff and spur Sacramento Child Protective Services into action.

When Reason TV interviewed the Nikolayevs in August, Alex Nikolayev told us, “They were coming up with some random stuff. Finding another thing just to keep us there.”

This “random stuff” turned out to be concerns that Sammy was off his heart medication, according to medical records. Hospital staff wrote that Anna Nikolayev admitted to them that she had stopped giving Samuel his medications while on vacation in Colorado for three weeks, and they said Anna tried to treat a hernia Samuel had developed by taping coins to either side of it. The Nikolayevs’ attorney has filed an objection to these details, saying they amount to hearsay and cannot be substantiated.

Hospital employees also wrote that Anna refused IVs and feeding tubes that doctors recommended in order to get Samuel the hydration and nutrition he needed, bringing the conflict to a head. On April 23, she left the hospital with Samuel, against the medical advice of the staff.

A social worker employed by the hospital reported Anna’s behavior to California Child Protective Services, saying that the baby’s life was in imminent danger.

“The mother stated to hospital staff she believes if she places coins on both sides of his hernia it will go away. The mother refused any medication and refused to follow nutritional instructions.”

Outraged yet?

Apparently the problem with the “second opinion” from Kaiser was that they either failed to fully understand the severity of this baby’s condition or else they were not made aware of certain facts — like that the baby had not been medicated for a full three weeks. I’m guessing it was a combination of both.

The Kaiser pediatrician who treated little Sammy expressed his full confidence that the five-month-old, eleven-pound, “hydrated-appearing,” baby would “gain weight/become fully hydrated” under the Nikolayevs’ care and instructed them to follow up with a pediatrician. Not a pediatric cardiologist, nor any of the specialists who had been working with the baby — just a regular, garden-variety pediatrician.

More from Reason.com:

So how did the Nikolayevs go from “competent and concerned” with Samuel’s care to being raided and having their baby removed within 24 hours? Court records reveal that the Sutter Memorial social worker, who had originally reported the case to CPS, didn’t trust the work done at Kaiser.

Although the Kaiser staff consulted with nurses and doctors at Sutter before discharging Samuel, they did not provide enough information to satisfy the social worker, citing medical privacy laws. Upon learning that Samuel was discharged with instructions to follow up with a pediatrician, the social worker “expressed frustration at this because the child needs immediate follow up with his pediatric specialist doctors, including the cardiologist, not just his pediatrician.”

I’d say it’s pretty clear that CPS had some legitimate concerns, and that the baby may very well have been in imminent danger, which would legally justify CPS’s decision to act without a court order. Yet at this point the Reason article takes a surprisingly sharp and questionable turn, citing a letter to the parents from the pediatric cardiologist dated May 9th:

“The surgery is not an emergency, but if not corrected within a reasonable amount of time, his congestive heart failure will worsen and he will continued to have difficulty gaining weight”

The Reason author believes that because the baby would not have been placed in imminent danger by Mom’s declining the surgery, CPS had no caused to act without a court order. I’d say that’s a pretty foolish conclusion to draw, one which completely disregards all the evidence presented in the first half of the article suggesting the baby was not being properly cared for. Whether or not the surgery was an emergency is in fact irrelevant; Sammy Nikolayev was removed from his parents’ custody due to allegations of severe neglect against his mother, not because the parents refused the operation.

The body of thirteen-year-old Jahi McMath was scheduled to be removed from “life support” (or more appropriately, ‘decomposition inhibition‘) at 5:00 pm PST on Monday. I don’t think anyone was overly shocked when the judge — whose rulings have suggested that he too may be suffering from a slight case of brain death — granted the family’s petition for an extension on the restraining order against Children’s Hospital Oakland. The hospital must now keep the corpse hooked up until 5:00 pm PST on January 7th, 2014, thus denying a bed and life-saving technology to the next critically ill child.

What’s it going to take, motherfucker? Another kid to die because a ventilator wasn’t available?The hospital is, of course, still expected to foot the bill, which at this point is likely reaching into the hundreds of thousands.

That’s right, folks; a cadaver is receiving “medical care,” which millions of Americans cannot afford because their monthly premiums are too high (plans in my state run as high as $1,300), their annual deductibles are outrageous (mine is $4,500), their coverage is limited (I’m currently fighting to get my son’s school epi-pen refilled), or because they do not have any health insurance whatsoever. How many of us regularly opt out of going to the doctor when we’re sick or are declining medical procedures that we simply cannot afford? You want health care in this country? Go fucking die. (No, really.)

But I digress.

The family claimed that they had found a New York “hospital” which was willing to take the corpse, and the judge proved mentally inept enough to believe them. But in fact, this so-called “hospital” does not yet even exist.

The Brendan House will be located in Suffolk County New York and offer residential treatment to patients with catastrophic brain injuries. What the family and its attorney neglected to tell the judge is that construction of this facility only began this past October, and they are not expected to open their doors before April 2014. The facility’s own website indicates that they have raised less than half the money needed in order to complete the project. According to their Facebook page, as of December 22nd, they had finally finished installing the windows. (No word on when/how they intend to procure decomposition-inhibiting equipment and hire a staff.)

Scerri’s website biography states she owned a beauty salon and then became a “leader in the health field began years ago when she started a support group for women with infertility problems.” The site said she opened the center when her father suffered a TBI in a motorcycle accident. Steve Scerri is listed as the vice president of the company; hispast business experience includes founding a cemetery center and three self-storage facilities.

Well, that explains a lot.

The family has announced their plans to contract a private jet to transport the body to New York. When? Who the fuck knows. But one thing is certain; it isn’t going to happen.

As previously mentioned, the state of California only licences hospitals, mortuaries, and coroners to transfer dead bodies. Special permits may be obtained from the coroner’s office, yet state law dictates that corpses transported by private carriers must first be embalmed. Moreover, the family has yet to obtain written permission from the coroner’s office, despite the attorney’s claims to the contrary.

In other words, they plan to illegally move the corpse. Now I’m no legal expert, but it seems to me that we’re looking at the following violations of California law:

California Health and Safety Code section 7355:

(a) Except as provided in subdivision (b), the bodies of persons who have died from any cause shall not be received for transportation by a common carrier unless the body has been embalmed and prepared by a licensed embalmer and placed in a sound casket and enclosed in a transportation case.

(b) A dead body, which cannot be embalmed or is in a state of decomposition, shall be received for transportation by a common carrier if the body is placed in an airtight metal casket enclosed in a strong transportation case or in a sound casket enclosed in an airtight metal or metal-lined transportation case.

California Health and Safety Code section 754(b):

”every person who deposits or disposes of any human remains in any place, except in a cemetery, is guilty of a misdemeanor.”

In addition to facing charges in the state of California, everyone involved in this madness — the family, the attorney, and any transport company stupid enough to help them — would be faced with similar charges under New York law:

New York State Code Section 4200:

Except in the cases in which a right to dissect it is expressly conferred by law, every body of a deceased person, within this state, shall be decently buried or incinerated within a reasonable time after death.

Now ask yourself this: do you really think the family and its attorney are serious about moving this body, or could they possibly have ulterior motives? I’d say that question is sort of a no-brainer… or a dead-brainer. (Sorry!)

Possible reasons for this charade:

1. Money. Mom nearly doubled her takings within twenty-four hours of the judge’s ruling. As of New Year’s Eve, she’d managed to score $40, 570. (Remind me to start my own GoFundMe account… mama needs a new mattress.)

2. Publicity. By mouthing off to the media, both the family and its attorney are setting the stage for an emotional distress lawsuit against the hospital, to be served up cold along with the inevitable malpractice suit. They’re hoping to rack up pity points with the public — Poor Mom, she’s done everything she could; those mean ol’ doctors! — while they in fact sit around with their thumbs up their asses and dollar signs in their eyes.

3. Popularity. Have you seen the sorts of idiots who’ve come out in support of Mom en masse? Of course you have. The scheming bitch is enjoying her status as a national celebrity. As long as the judge continues to allow her to preserve her daughter’s corpse usingexpensive equipment that was intended to save lives, she’ll remain a champion of the epsilon semi-morons and the right-to-lifers. (The notion of a corpse having a “right to life” makes me think of this scene from Life of Brian.)

4. Revenge. Mom has made it abundantly clear that trolling the hospital is high on her agenda. Her daughter is dead, and she wants someone to blame. (Never mind her own part in all of this — or the part she may have played — I’ll get to that soon.) The entire family has set out to smear the reputation of Children’s Hospital Oakland, lying through their teeth about the hospital actively interfering with their plans to move the body, when in fact they have no plan.

5. Guilt. The surgeries Jahi McMath underwent were high risk and questionable in their effectiveness. They were entirely elective. (More on that in a moment.)

6. Possible Smokescreen. And now we get down to what may truly be the heart of this matter.

An adenotonsillectomy; a uvulopalatopharyngloplasty, or UPPP, which is tissue removal in the throat; and submucous resection of bilateral inferior turbinates, which is nasal obstruction.

Unlike a “routine tonsillectomy,” an adenotonsillectomy involves removing the adenoids along with the tonsils.

In addition to lying about the “routine tonsillectomy,” the family has attempted to hide behind HIPPA legislation to conceal the truth and further attack the hospital for botching something so simple as a tonsillectomy.

Jahi McMath was morbidly obese, which was likely the cause of her sleep apnea in the first place. (Why choose a healthy lifestyle for your kid when there’s the quick-fix of surgery, right?) But what I find astounding is that Mom chose this surgery while undoubtedly aware that Jahi’s obesity would have put her at significant risk for complications. In fact, at least one of these surgeries — the uvulopalatopharyngloplasty — has been demonstrated virtually ineffective for obese patients. Are you going to tell me diet and exercise weren’t an option?

Jahi McMath was a morbidly obese child who obviously wasn’t used to being told ‘no’ when it came to food. Mom has refused to listen to nearly everything the hospital has told her, from the fact of her daughter’s death (which I’m sure she knows) to the steps she must take in order to transfer the body (identify a facility, arrange for transport, obtain a permit). And if this case couldn’t get any more bizarre, Mom’s latest complaint against the hospital is that they are denying food to her daughter’s corpse:

“To watch my daughter just sit there and not have food…I’m just so happy that she is kind of a thick girl so she still looks good. I tell her every day, ‘Jahi, you losin’ weight girl, but you still look good.’ I just think it’s inhumane to not feed my child, to not refer to her by her name, and stop us in our tracks.”

If she’s eager to feed her daughter post-mortem, what does this suggest about the likelihood of her having fed the girl post-op? I think it’s highly possible that Jahi, already at risk for complications, was slipped a little treat by her mother sometime after the procedures.

If Children’s Hospital had suspicions to this effect, they would be noted in the girl’s medical records. An autopsy soon after death might have easily confirmed such suspicions. Yet the longer Mom insists upon carrying on with this dog and pony show, the lesser the chance of an autopsy determining what ultimately killed her daughter. And I think that’s what Mom is really after.

One more thing: I nearly forgot to mention The Video. But that’s okay, because Mom did too, until Monday.

The family now claims that the corpse is responding to its mother’s voice and touch, and that they are in possession of a video which demonstrates as much. According to the girl’s grandmother — Mom’s mom — and a fucking nurse:

“She’s moving her body. Her vital signs are good.”

I can’t help but be reminded of Nicholas Coke, the anencephalic that survived on Medicaid for a record three years, and the claims of it being “responsive,” particularly to its birth unit and her mother. (Another group of morons that the media loved to coddle.)

But the fact that Grandma — a fucking nurse —would have the audacity to refer to vital signs while speaking of a corpse really says a hell of a lot about these people.

Mom knows, Grandma, knows, and the lawyer (who has slipped up and referred to the corpse as a “body” on a multiple occasions) most certainly knows. They’re merely taking advantage of all the idiots out there who are mentally incapable of distinguishing between death and a medical condition — or who otherwise refuse to do so for ideological reasons.

Bottom line: this family is vile, opportunistic, and sooner or later someone is going to have to step in and put an end to this madness. A children’s hospital in an impoverish area is being legally coerced into wasting thousands of dollars per day and equipment which could be better put to use saving a child’s life. Just about every aspect of this case offends basic human sensibilities, as do the morons encouraging this family with their ridiculous rallies and donations to Mom’s manicure-and-party fund.

To anyone reading this who has been foolish enough to donate: she’s laughing at you all the way to the bank.