Throwback: ‘Dirty Dancing’

The high heat of summer is finally upon us, so what better way to spend the hot July nights than tucked safely inside our air conditioned homes, streaming the seminal summer romance flick,Dirty Dancing? Sure, it came out in 1987, but there’s no better time to revisit it than today! Enter Decider Throwback: Dirty Dancing. (Now streaming on Netflix!)

We’re going to revisit the classic love story, see what strange stuff jumps out at us now and ask ourselves the hard-hitting questions. Like, is Dirty Dancing really dirty? How many subplots did we forget about? Is Baby Houseman a secret Brooklyn style icon? And finally, was Dirty Dancingactually about dirty dancing, or was it about the implacable socio-economical political forces that keep chauvinistic white men in power? LET’S FIND OUT!

3:53: NEWMAN.

7:26: We know from the moment that we meet Johnny that he’s cool because he’s upsetting the patriarchal discussion about class structure. And he wears black wayfarers and a leather jacket. But also, the timing of his entrance.

17:50: It’s striking that Billy says that Johnny and Penny aren’t a couple in this film because that would mean that they are friends, and as we know from that other seminal 80s masterpiece,When Harry Met Sally…, this is impossible. Men and women can’t be friends. OR CAN THEY?

18:59: “I CARRIED A WATERMELON.” Okay, I once read a post years ago on Entertainment Weeklythat claimed this was one of the worst lines of dialogue in film history and it’s long infuriated me. “I carried a watermelon” is one of the best lines of dialogue in film history. Its very clunkiness and absurdity perfectly reflect Baby’s in the situation. She doesn’t have anything else cooler to say because at this point she’s insecure and uncool. The fact that she goes from “I carried a watermelon,” to initiating sex with Johnny to announcing publicly that she slept with him is indicative of her character growth. “I carried a watermelon” is a perfect line of dialogue.

25:14: “Sometimes you see things you don’t want to see…” like the aftermath of your sister’s almost date rape. Smooth pick up line, Neil. Tell us more about your two hotels and those sweet gherkins.

28:08: Never forget the original title of this film was Catskills Abortion, but NBC wouldn’t run advertisements featuring that title. Actually, that’s not true. The Decider team just thinks it should be true.

29:32: Oh, he’s not just a date rapist and a guy who won’t assume responsibility for an unborn child, he’s a motherfucking objectivist. GTFO, Robbie. You, and your boner for Howard Roarke.

THE ENTIRE FILM: Every character in this film is styled like someone of their class would be in 1963 (or in 1987), but Baby looks like a girl going to get a beer in 2014 Brooklyn. So, was the costume designer a psychic or do hipsters worship Baby Houseman? I’d like it to be the former, but I have a great contemporary love of Keds, so it’s probably the latter.

39:37: In Baby Houseman’s defense, I, too, would get the giggles if a grown man was repeatedly grazing my side boob in choreographed earnestness. Don’t lie. You would, too.

43:02: There are a lot of shots of feet in this film, so it should rank higher as a foot fetish film. By the by, which normal films do count as foot fetish films? Are they all directed by Quentin Tarantino? Ponder that and get back to us with your thoughts.

51:35: In case all the cha-chas confused you, this movie is about women’s reproductive rights.

58:24: Is it just me, or is it weird that she kisses his back and then he takes off her shirt BEFORE they kiss for the first time? Oh, that’s how it’s done in the Catskills? Carry on.

1:17:22: I forgot about this subplot. Did you forget about this subplot? I think everyone forgot about this subplot.

1:25:30: This movie is suddenly about sisters. I don’t think it was before, but it is now.

1:33:56: If you don’t think this is awesome, get yourself to a medical professional to check your heart rate, because you are dead inside.