lost the most important perso in my life

I just lost this girl that I met online and we had a gud relationship online
for 2 years. And we've just been going out for like 5 months. And we exchanged phone# She always asks me why i dont call her. I canttt call her cuz I dont know what to speak with her. Im Fine when im talking with her on msn. But when i Pick up the phone to dial her number.. it just terifies the hell out of me. My heart starts beating and I just cant focus on what im going to say. Its ****ed up. I havent called her in about a month. I feel sorry for that girl, she probably thinks there's something wrong with her and I dont want to talk to her. I just text msg her. And i also told her to move on cuz im not the right person for her, but she kept telling me that she doesnt want to move on and that im just hurting her by telling her to move on.
I met her on Valentines day and I made her wait for me like 4 hours.. I was late. And even when im with her.. like all t he time I just dont speak with her.. Shit.. I feel so shit man.. I gave her the rose and we went to watch a movie. And when i went inside the theather with her.. I just couldnt concentrate on the movie. And i couldnt even hug her or kiss her man. Shittt I hate this thing called Social phobia.

yes she knows everything about me. I told her that i have sp.. online though.. and its a long time ago. I thought i wud get better and lead a better life. But things r geting worse and worse. I kept lying to her about cirtain things cuz of this SP. I feel soo useless now..

Hey man, how can we feel sorry for you?
You dumped her, so it's your fault you're all alone now.
You found a person that liked you for who you
are and you told here to go away !!??
J, its very hard for most people to make a real
connection with someone. Try to get back on
track with this girl ASAP and quite feeling sorry
for your self!!
You know, i've done a similar thing in life. I met a wonderfull
girl that was willing to give me my dream of a great wife
and children and I was too shy and stupid to even ask her on
a first date. I could shoot myself in the head every time i think
about this. now im old and grey and missed a wonderlull part of life.
Some times I think us SP people
just need a good kick in the pants more than
a sympatheic ear.

I don't want to sound antagonistic, but SP is no excuse for lying. Granted, people with SP are more predisposed to lying, but it's just a harder life, and some people have harder lives than others, and lying is never acceptable, however difficult your life may be.

If she knows that you have SP and is still wants to spend time with you, than I'd say you are pretty fortunate. It's ashame because some people are not that patient or willing to get to know people with SP. I would just tell her that this is new to you and that it takes time for you to warm up to people. It look me almost 2 years to be comfortable with my BF. There are some things that I am still not comfortable with doing, though.

I know that this might be scary for you, but I would try and make this relationship work- if even just as friends. You could gain a GF, or a friend, or just someone who understands and cares about you (and I think your social skills will iomprove with the experience of being with others.)