Battling with BPD, A toddler and life. Feel free to follow my not so private online journal !

My Birth Story

My Birth story is quite a long one to be honest with you do want to know about my birth story then read on lol.

So where do I start because as with everything in my life it wasn’t a smooth birth that’s for sure.

Lets start with getting our induction date when I say our induction date I mean my induction date lol but to be fair to Lee he was with me through pretty much every second of it apart from when he went for a cig but that was fair enough.

I think our induction date was the 7th of January when Milly was 37 weeks as they wanted to get her out as her growth had started to dip and she was small anyway so they wanted to bring her to avoid any unnecessary complications.

So on the 7th January 2016 we had to ring up the maternity ward to see if they had any beds at like 9.30am which of course they didn’t and said they would ring back once there was a free bed which they didn’t we had to ring them and at about 5.30pm they said there was a bed so my mum took us to the hospital and we got a bed but we waited until 11.30pm until they put the thing in to induce me but they leave it in for a whole 24 hours before they will check it again!

So me and Lee stayed in the hospital because I wouldn’t stay there by myself so the poor lad slept on two chairs at first so we literally spent the day walking around the hospital I actually don’t think that there was a corner of that hospital we didn’t walk to.

At this point I would say I was getting slight pain but nothing serious really but I had to wait until 11.30pm before the doctor would come and check if she could brake my waters and of course my luck is terrible so it was attempt two at using the thing to induce you. I don’t know how to describe it apart from it being like a flat tampon not that I could see it.

We are 24 hours in and nothing apart from a few tweaks I would say about 28 hours in the pain started not pain I couldn’t deal with but pain but I was doing everything I could do in that hospital to get this Labour started. I was walking around, bouncing on the ball and the pain got worse throughout the day but I still had to wait until 11.30pm for them to recheck to see if they could break my waters.

Which by this time I had lost my plug, I was exhausted not only being in slow labour but I couldn’t sleep in the hospital because I was so anxious about all the noise and people and then when the doctor came around at 1st she didn’t think she could break my waters but then she checked a bit more which was very uncomfortable but when she finally said actually I think I can break your waters I was weirdly relieved as I couldn’t have done another day walking around with nothing to show for the pain.

So this was probably about midnight on the 9th January when they finally said we could head down to the Labour ward (i don’t know if that is what it is called) so Lee called my mum and she came back to hospital bless her she was back and fourth to that hospital so much in between trying to work and O don’t think I ever told her how much that actually meant to me.

My mum arrived probably around 12.20am I mean I don’t know I wasn’t exactly paying attention to the time at this point 😂 when my mum arrived the doctor came and said “do you want to see how you go naturally or do you want me to put you on a drip that will quicken up your labour but bare in mind being induced already doubles the pain and this will probably double it again” but at this point in time I really didn’t care about the pain I just wanted anything to make this Labour as quick as possible.

So bare in mind I had now been in slow labour for over 48 hours now so I was desperate to get this baby out but I had also had around 4 hours sleep in the space of that 48 hours because of my anxiety but they also had to monitor Milly’s heartbeat and my contraction’s every 4 hours so that was fun, obviously they had to do it to make sure Milly was ok and not becoming stressed which leads me on nicely onto the next part of my labour.

So I was pretty much on gas and air for my contractions well not pretty much I was on gas and air for my contractions and I don’t remember at what point she broke my waters but after that the pain was indescribable but once my contraction stopped I fell asleep because I was so exhausted and apparently according to Lee and my mum because the bed was risen and I was like sat with my legs crossed and my bump was sticking out I looked like a buddah which was charming lol 😂

Then I remember the pain getting worse and them offering me an epidural which as the the midwife was explaining all the possible side effects I just kept falling asleep apart from when a contraction came along but I do know I said I wanted it but didn’t end up having it for some reason I think it was because by this time I was about 8-9 cm dilated so it wasn’t worth it and I have no clue what time it was at this point because I was slightly busy trying to push a baby out.

Omg I missed the part out about when the midwife was putting the drip to speed up the Labour 1st time she burst my vain (so on pictures my entire wrist is like bruised) 2nd attempt she got it in but as the stuff was going in it was hurting so the 3rd attempt the doctor took it out ( bare in mind I hate needles ) so at this point and the only point in my labour I started crying because I didn’t want another needle but the doctor whipped it in within literally 2 seconds thank god!!

Anyway back to being nearly at the point of beginning to push I started needing to push and the midwives kept saying “don’t push” which annoyed me because my body wasn’t just saying push it wash pushing I couldn’t stop it but with every contraction Milly’s heart rate lowered so they started to get worried that the cord was around her neck so they put like these heartrate monitors on her head but then they started getting really concerned and they just wanted her out so they cut me 10 times and they wasn’t small cuts but at Sunday 10th January 2016 at 6.28am our tiny 5lb 110z baby Milly finally bounced across the bed literally because she was so tiny… I mean I didn’t see that part but Lee did but yeh I lost a lot of blood. So they wiped Milly down and checked her over but because she was so small all the hats they had was too big so they had to get one from the neonatal unit and then they placed her on my chest and no before you ask I didn’t feel a rush of love I fell asleep and when I woke up milly had been fed and was dressed in an outfit far to big for her and that was tiny baby my mum had to go get her some under 5lb baby clothes and they werw still too big! And I’m pretty sure my dad was there or that might of been after the midwife ran me a bath.

I still remember now having to sit down after having my first bath after giving birth because as I went to get out I went so dizzy I nearly passed out .

I will reccomended getting lavender drops for your bath as it really helps with the healing obviously I still have scars but it really helped with the uncomfort.

We didn’t get to go home until I think it was the 15th of January that is when we was both discharged from the hospital as they had to do a 48 hour watch on Milly to make sure she wasn’t addicted to the medication I had to take for my mental health and then she was jorndess (yellow basically) so she had to go under a light for a day and night and we could only get her out to feed and change and that was it.

So yeh that’s my birth story! I hope I haven’t put you off or made you shit scared of giving birth because honestly you will be fine the doctors and midwives no exactly what they are doing so Good luck!

Thanks for reading! Let me see if I can find a photo of Milly when she was first born to put underneath here.

How many hours whas you in labour for?

💋💋

Milly was one month old on this photo but you can’t see how small she was!