In a weekly report on London’s regal rumpus, VF.com’s Royal Watch, plucks the best of Old Blighty’s tabloid news for your crib notes. In today’s edition: Sarah Burton’s reveal, Catherine’s compote coat, Pippa’s new agent.

And finally, the secret is out: how did Sarah Burton, Kate Middleton’s wedding-dress designer, keep the biggest fashion secret of the decade? By not telling anyone! Apparently the confidentiality agreement surrounding her work on the gown was so tight that even her parents were kept in the dark, according to an interview Burton has given to British Vogue. They were told the night before the ceremony, and ended up seeing the dress alongside everyone else: they peeped at it from the roadside throngs via periscope.

William and a berry merry Catherine went to Denmark this week, their purpose to raise awareness about African famine with the corresponding Danish royals, Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary. For the occasion, Kate held a nosegay and wore suede knee-high boots with an overcoat in cranberry—or maybe “stewed rhubarb compote,” to be more English-like. Everybody else looked comparatively mousy in muted blues and grays, as is customary. Some folks said the princesses looked alike, what with their shoulder-length chestnut hair,—but others ignored such hairesy.

Based on the recent landmark ruling by David Cameron and the 16 Commonwealth nations, there could be a new leading lady in the U.K.: a unanimous decision has been made to abolish the rule of succession that places second-born males ahead of first-born females in line for the throne. Also lifted is a law preventing anyone in the line of succession from marrying a Catholic. How cutting edge the Old Empire is, indeed.

There ain’t no party like a Pippa Middleton party! And thusly, Pippa has been in talks with esteemed literary agent David Godwin (who represented Man Booker Prize winners Arundhati Roy and Ben Okri), about writing a party-planning guide. Given her background in events and her authorship of literary journal The Party Times for her parents’ company Party Pieces, this should come as no surprise. According to The Sunday Times, “[t]he idea would be to publish the book just before Christmas 2012, to prevent it being seen as a tie-in to parties surrounding the Queen’s diamond jubilee next summer. Middleton is said to be cautious about being seen to plug her links to royalty and has consulted advisers at St James’s Palace.” Did we mention that it’s also rumored she could net more than £1 million from royalties and spin-offs?

As it turns out, Pippa is also busy bringing sexy back. Yes, Justin Timberlake (who’s had his fair share of beauties—Cameron Diaz, Jessica Biel) apparently has eyes for Pippa: the singer turned actor recently told the U.K. edition of Esquire that “American males are big fans of Pippa. We like the Middletons very much. I’m going to sound like a sleazeball. I’m going to stop right there.” Timberlake is reportedly on-again with another tan brunette gym bunny, Jessica Biel.

Talk about handwriting cramps: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have reportedly received 60,000 cards and letters wishing them a happy married life. By that metric alone, they just may be the most popular royal couple in history; the Queen and Prince Philip received only 10,000 telegrams after their 1947 nuptials. And according to a palace source, “[t]here’s a team working on it and everyone who wrote in got a response.”