Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The words that broke my heart, "If you and Jordan weren't sick...."

We know being sick isn't fun. Feeling ill due to the disease itself or the meds used to treat it are something we deal with often. But what about the people around us who aren't sick? Do they suffer as well? I don't mean do they have sympathy pains or anything like that. What is the toll on the healthy family members? Do they resent us? Sometimes I think so.

As many of you know I have a son. A big son. At 6 years old Matthew is 4'3 and 75lbs. He's growing like mad again. He needs new shoes ASAP, his pants are getting tight, blah, blah, blah.... He has 1 pair of shoes that fit right now and they're on the way out.

I was thinking today about how much money we spend on medical expenses each month. Between office visits, gas to get to those appts and medications for J and I, it's a lot. If we didn't have to put out so much money each month we'd be OK. We wouldn't have to worry about how we're going to buy food or pay our bills. I could go buy the boy a pair of shoes without worrying if we're going to be overdrawn. I often go without meds so I can buy the kids something they need.

But this is our life. It's really hard when you have to tell your kids they can't do XYZ because we don't have the money. It broke my heart today when Matty got sad and upset because we can't sign him up for baseball this Spring. He looked at me and said "If you and Jordan weren't sick I could play." And the thing is, he's right.

2 comments:

I have thought about this quite often. My family is ok with all of this, but it still seems unfair to them sometimes.

If you haven't tried already, consider trying for Social Security for your little one. Our pedi advised us to get a lawyer right away. On your own, they will deny you time & again, but with a lawyer they seem to throw out that whole pesky "income base". We applied as soon as my husband lost his job. As soon as we got SSI for our little one they sent us a Medicaid card. I cannot even begin to tell you how hard I cried when I saw that. We have primary insurance, but Medicaid usually picks up the rest. If you decide to go this route, apply NOW. They date their app from your first application. If you get denied 4 times and then get it, your benefits are "supposed to" start from that first date. I hope you don't mind the suggestion. Your post just screamed "I KNOW!!!" to me. :( I'm so sorry that you & your family have to go through all of this.