Subscribe to this blog

Follow by Email

This Friday, Jan 26th I will be speaking about living with anxiety challenges and mental health for Creative Mornings. I HATE anxiety. Hate it. But my love for stopping mental health stigma by sharing my story is stronger. I'll also talk about facing our normal, everyday anxieties.

Registration opens this Monday at 11am. They go quick so make sure you sign up ASAP.

How Sandra Bland’s Death Woke People Up to Black Women and Police Brutality

My mother and I had the talk. The same talk that
African-American parents have with their sons about police brutality. My mom
and I have had the talk before. It mostly entailed making sure I have my
insurance and registration in my car at all times.Be friendly with the cops when they pull me
over so that things will go smoothly. The unjust death of Sandra Bland, 28,
took the conversation deeper.

“Your goal when getting pulled over by the police, is to
leave the situation alive, “ my mother said to me during our discussion about
Sandy’s death.I’m not sure if most
Black women have had the talk about how to interact with the police, because
the conversation on police brutality and race is focused on Black men. The same goes for the Black Lives Matter
movement. Although it was started by Black queer women from Oakland, the
community made it Black-male centered. This
is one of the reasons why the #SayHerName, #BlackWomenMatter protests and
hashtags were formed.

About a month prior to Sandra’s death, a cop in Texas
slammed 15-year-old Dajerria Becton to the ground while she was in a bikini.
Initially there was outrage, then people got distracted with Rachel Dolezal’s
crazy, passing as Black woman story. We should not have shifted our attention away
from Dajerria Becton.But Sandra Bland’s
death is waking people up. I think her death will cause the Black Lives Matter
movement to be more inclusive of addressing both Black men and women.

After the video of Sandy’s arrest was released, what I heard
from Black women in person and on social media was, “She could’ve been
me.”I didn’t notice this reaction from
Black women when people like Mike Brown, Eric Garner and Freddie Gray were
killed.The reaction I heard was, “That
could’ve been my son, my husband, my father, my brother.”

I cried as I watched the video of Sandy’s arrest. Watching
her being arrested because Officer Brian Encinia wanted her to put out her
cigarette, and then lie that she resisted arrest broke my heart. Some people
have called her arrogant. But if she was a white man, they would’ve called her
a strong and confident civilian who knew his rights. Sandy wasn’t arrested for a
cigarette or arrogance (and since when is arrogance illegal?).Sandy died because the officer had a small
ego. And God forbid an intelligent, confident Black woman who knew her rights
would challenge him. So add racism and sexism to the mix of reasons why she was
arrested. If only he had swallowed his pride, kept his prejudices off the job and just gave her the ticket.

I cannot imagine the
shit police have to deal with. I have
family members who work/have worked in law enforcement so I’ve heard some
stories.Yet with all of the criminals
on the loose, Officer Encinia arrested an unarmed, young woman in a summer
dress and sandals. All of the criminals on the loose, and he pulled her over
for changing lanes without a signal. She was a threat because she was Black, and
she stood up for herself because she knew he had no valid reason to arrest her.

All I could think while watching the video was, “She died
for nothing. NOTHING.” But I was wrong.
Sandra Bland died over nothing, but her death was not in vain. The video and her story hit the hearts of
people worldwide. Since Sandra’s death, more stories about Black women dying in
police custody have been on my newsfeeds. Finally! The conversation around Black
women being victims of police misconduct has increased. For example, the case of former Oklahoma City
Police Officer Daniel Ken Holtzclaw, who has been charged with sexually
assaulting at least seven women, is receiving growing attention. I read the
victims were all Black women raging in age from 17 to 58.

Ironically, Daniel Holtzclaw, lost his badge and is on house
arrest, because of these rape allegations. But Marissa Alexander initially got
20 years, and is on house arrest for firing a warning shot in the air to scare
off her abusive husband. Sigh.

Then there’s 18-year-old Kindra Chapman who allegedly died
by suicide in an Alabama jail the day after Sandra Bland. Most recently Ralkina
Jones, 37 died in a Cleveland Heights jail. Then there are past cases like Mitrice Richardson, Tanisha Anderson, Yvette Smith, Alesia Thomas, Rekia Boyd, Shereese
Francis, Aiyana Stanley-Jones and more.

It’s crushing just to list the names. Sandra Bland’s death
may have saved some Black women’s lives now that we’re more aware. There is no
doubt, that Black men have it hard. But Black women don’t have it easy either.
Just as there’s been a push to save our sons, we need to save our daughters. We
need to save each other.

Sandra Bland was a daughter, a sister, a friend. Sandra
Bland was my Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Sister. Sandra Bland wanted equality.
Sandra Bland’s life and death will always matter.

And by the way, GOD FORBID, if I’m ever arrested, I didn’t
resist. I kept my cool, because that’s how I am. I was respectful because I
don’t like conflict. I don’t do drugs. And I damn sure didn’t kill myself. Even with
all of these years of living with depression I’ve never attempted suicide. It’s
a shame that we live in a world where I
have to say this publicly.

I pray for peace, healing and equality. I pray for better
relations between the police and Black people. I pray these killings stop. I pray for Sandra Bland's family. I
pray for peace.

Comments

Post a Comment

BlogHer Ads

Popular Posts

While I was sick and shut in with the flu, I lived on Hulu
when it didn’t hurt to keep my eyes open. I finally saw Frida, the 2002 film about the revolutionary Mexican artist Frida
Kahlo (1907-1954). I wasn’t crazy about the script but Salma Hayek was awesome
as Frida Kahlo.
The first time I saw Frida Kahlo’s work was in college. My
boss at the time had her art in his office. Honestly, I was a bit repulsed and
uncomfortable with her work. She painted her imperfections and her pain so
vividly. Frida was seriously injured in a bus accident while a teenager and had
many surgeries on her back. I could feel her intensity and sense her pain
looking at her photos. He facial hair and stern unibrowed glare scared me. A
woman viewing her facial flaws as art? Then there were the images of blood,
scissors, thorns etc. in her body.
"I
never painted dreams. I painted my own reality,” she once said.

You know how folks say “Do you”? That was how Frida lived
her life. She lived by her own rul…

Last week I posted my interview with Don't Bring Home A White Boy author Karyn LanghorneFolan. We had a nice, long interview. One thing that came up was courting. Folan shares in her book that she wasn't sure her husband Kevin was into her when they first started dating. Kevin drove 30 miles every weekend to see Karyn, took her to pricey restaurants, paid for everything and was great company. Usually the dates ended with a nice hug, maybe a handshake. No, kissy, touchy or feely was going on. We're not talking the 1960s but just six years ago. Race aside, Karyn, like many of women, was used to guys feeling entitled to the VIP bedroom pass because they spent money on her. Yep. Some men equate movie tickets and dinner with getting the panties. I went on one date with a guy who thought a glass of wine and a few appetizers meant sexual healing was on the way. Well, it dawned on Karyn that she was being courted. Here's what she told me in our interview: READ MORE