Triumph over tragedy: A young woman's adoption story

At 25, Christina Warfield’s life is looking better and better. Living with her husband, Josh, in Idaho, she is pregnant with their first child, a girl to be named Emma Rose. She also has a master’s degree and enjoys helping at-risk mothers. Getting to this point wasn’t easy, especially 10 years ago, when ...

By Meghan Millea

Times Reporter

By Meghan Millea

Posted Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:01 AM
Updated Sep 3, 2012 at 3:11 AM

By Meghan Millea

Posted Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:01 AM
Updated Sep 3, 2012 at 3:11 AM

At 25, Christina Warfield’s life is looking better and better. Living with her husband, Josh, in Idaho, she is pregnant with their first child, a girl to be named Emma Rose. She also has a master’s degree and enjoys helping at-risk mothers.

Getting to this point wasn’t easy, especially 10 years ago, when she was a teenager living in Newcomerstown. She was 14 the day she and her three siblings were taken from their parents’ home and placed into foster care.

“We grew up in a family where there was domestic violence and drug and alcohol abuse. I grew up kind of thinking that was normal,” she said. “It was all I’d ever really known.

“I was angry at first,” recalled Warfield, formerly Triplett, explaining she resented the social workers who she believed were taking her away from her parents.

“I felt bad about everything. I felt a little bit of responsibility to take care of my family, even my parents,” she said. “I tried to be my parents’ parent. It wasn’t healthy for me, but it was my way of thinking.”

DIFFICULT TRANSITION

Warfield and her siblings were sent to live with a family member. But four additional children proved to be too much for Warfield’s relative. The children soon found themselves back in foster care.

Warfield said she was extremely anxious and depressed at that time. She was worried about meeting a new family and starting over again.

“I remember thinking, ‘Am I going to like this person? I have to change schools again.’ My parents had kind of moved us around. We changed schools quite a bit. I was dreading having to do that.”

When she met her new family, she felt reassured. “The family was just really great. They cared about us,” Warfield said.

She had to get used to new rules, such as keeping up with chores, asking for food from the refrigerator — and no chips before dinner.

Warfield said it was the first time people had real expectations of her. She never paid attention to her grades in school, but her foster parents pushed her to do well, and she did. She got her first job and joined a youth group. At 16, she was allowed to get her driver’s license even though that privilege wasn’t usually given to foster children.

“They advocated for me to do normal things,” she recalled.

At the same time, Warfield’s parents were fighting to regain custody. They attended classes and counseling and the children started visiting regularly.

However, their visits were suspended when their father failed to show up on time, and when he did, it was clear he’d been drinking, Warfield said. “I didn’t like it when they drank before. I felt like it was selfish of them putting us through that again,” she said.

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It was a confusing time for the children, especially Warfield’s younger brother, she said. She said her brother would become very angry and refuse to respond to anyone. After her parents’ rights were terminated, the Triplett siblings were put up for adoption. Warfield was close to 17 at the time.

But the foster family hoping to adopt them couldn’t. “We doubled their family as well,” she said.

The siblings waited in another foster home for eight months. While there were a few families willing to take the three youngest children, they feared Warfield was too old or may be a bad influence. Social workers struggled to find families willing to take a teenager.

A PLACE TO CALL HOME

Tim and Kristen Ohler of Sugarcreek always felt it would be a great idea to adopt. The Ohlers had two biological children, Garrett and Bryce, but they always wanted more.

Still, Kristen Ohler said she was a little surprised when social workers asked if she would consider becoming a foster parent to four children. It didn’t take much convincing; when she heard that Warfield was about to age out of the system, and possibly be separated from her siblings, she knew she had to take them in.

“Christina (Warfield) had raised them basically. She was like a mother to them. How could you take her out of their life?” Kristen Ohler said.

Warfield was turning 18 in a week, graduating from Tuscarawas Valley High School and set to attend Malone University. “If you don’t have that family unit, how do you function in society without knowing you have a family of your own to go home to? What would she do on breaks? I kind of put myself in those shoes. It’s heartbreaking to think about, to be alone in this world,” Ohler said.

Warfield said the transition to the Ohlers’ home was the easiest of their four placements. The Ohlers took each child out individually, showing them their animals, introducing them to grandparents, and, of course, their younger siblings Garrett and Bryce Ohler.

“They were concerned about us, and caring about us completely made a huge positive impact on us kids,” Warfield said.

It still took a lot of patience for everyone involved, Ohler recalled. The children came with a lot of sadness and anger, and a strong desire to be accepted and loved.

“It did take some time for us all to adjust and feel comfortable. We sat down and talked and had real conversations,” Ohler said.

Ohler recalled having some moments of confusion when it came to adopting an older group of children. “I had a hard time learning what it was they could do at the age they were at. We didn’t work our way slowly to those years. It was just right in front of us,” she said.

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After six months, the Ohlers adopted the three youngest Triplett children, but Warfield was already 18 and studying at Malone University.

At 20, Warfield was set to marry her high school sweetheart, Josh. Even though she was looking forward to happier times, she still felt as though she was in limbo. She wanted a family to call her own. She thought about touching base with her biological family, but the issues cut too deep.

The Ohlers wanted her to know they loved her, and seeing her dilemma offered her the option to be adopted, if it would help her feel more secure. She accepted.

The Ohlers said they were thrilled to make Warfield part of their family officially, and three months before her wedding, they adopted her.

“It kind of seems silly to do that,” Warfield said. “It’s something I needed for my own personal growth. It really brought closure for me. It was exciting.”

LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE

It’s been seven years since the Triplett siblings became a part of the Ohler family. Kristen Ohler has watched her six children grow a lot, she said, especially the four she adopted.

She said Nichole Triplett is 21 and very independent; Billie Jean Triplett-Ohler, 18, is incredibly sweet and is attending school to become a dog groomer; and Montie Ohler, 19, is a completely different person.

“He’s the character in the family. He gets everybody to laugh, and entertain you by making you laugh. He’s just thriving, (there’s) a complete change in him. He smiles all the time,” Ohler said.

Shortly after getting married, Warfield followed her husband to Idaho. Influenced heavily by the caseworkers from Tuscarawas County Jobs and Family Services, Warfield completed a bachelor’s degree in social work. She later received her master’s. Today, she works with at-risk mothers.

The Ohlers said they are very proud of Warfield and her siblings. Ohler says her life changed when she picked up the phone seven years ago and kept an open mind about adopting four older children. It’s her hope that more foster families will consider taking older children into their homes.

“Give older children a chance because they deserve it. They need homes just as much as the babies do,” she said. “And the sad thing is they are fully aware. I think it’s harder to consider that and give them a chance.”