One day I asked my class to think of slang words for sex. I got the following list:Screw, f-, bang, nail, ram, smash, smack that, beat those, cut, boning, git-in-em-guts, get some trim, get some grip, do it, get some pussy, nasty time, make love.I don’t know about you, but I only want to do one of those things.

Most of this list suggests a good deal of violence. And who gets screwed, rammed, nailed, cut, boned, banged, smacked, beaten, and f’d, anyway? Really, it isn’t pretty. The music I grew up on offered the B-52’s singing “Bang, bang, bang (on the door baby),” David Bowie intoning, “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am,” and the Tubes celebrating the raw tuna of a sushi girl. A nice piece of meat. A DJ interrupts to suggest, “Could you trim that thing?” It all sounds so appealing.

And we wonder why women indicate less sexual interest than men on surveys. But once again, these words are only a small tip of that iceberg.

18 Responses

I conducted a similar list of words with the population that I work with (foster youth) and my list showed similarities to yours but they were still different none the less. My list includes: make love, getting wet, fornication, doing the nasty, f-word, getting it in, hit that and going half on a baby. Again, you present an excellent thought provoking conversation. Men are truly doing the f-ing when read and women are being screwed. Men should be faulted for terminology but it is women, in my opinion that screw themselves more. There is a popular song out, titled, “Toot it and boot it” and it refers to having sex with a woman then dumping her. In the arenas I attend, social clubs, the bar, and lounges, this is the song of choice for women. Women are well informed of the language men use to dehumanize them but they must not give it power. I am in no way shape or form saying that it is ok for men to disrespect women, I am more or so saying that with the current situation at hand, women can do something about it. They can deny a man their goods if a man useses that terminilogy, they cannot purchase the album, they can even go as far as using the language for themselves to refer to men, as I have seen done many of times. I believe women should educate men on how to talk to them because there is no better teacher. One woman at a time should stand up and really declare that they have had enough.

Poetri ,
You are absolutely right about this comment! this is exactly what my 30 year research has been about.
Women have been brainwashed to think themselves liberated- I consider it quite the antithesis.

I welcome your coments, We are looking for men willing to demonstrate who you blame from your point of view on this topic – feel free to comment on my sexualizing series which clearly asks women – why we are buying these products which clearly dehumanize us.
And I can assure you – it is women, and usually if not allways the more liberal among us who are buying and listening to this tpe of degradation.

If this continues we have no one to blames but ourselves – of course we must be aloowed to honestly speak out ! Please comment on the ads I have accumulated over 30 years.

I never said “it’s liberal women ” – I said “usually… the more liberal among us”, and I got the notion from Poetri who wrote “In the arenas I attend, social clubs, the bar, and lounges, this is the song of choice for women.

Don’t you think the more liberal among us are more likely to attend these arena’s and choose this type of music?

She asks me where I got the notion and now she wants evidence?
We have got to watch out for progressive Liberal so-called PhD’s who seek to speak for women . Clearly this Gal, has an axe to grind. I hope she let’s this guy answer – I am going to see how long she lets my question to him stand or if she allows his reply .

freemenow says:
November 13, 2010 at 2:48 am
Certainly not ALL liberal women.
ALL is a generalization I would never use, nor should ever infer. I hope I didn’t do that?
I don’t like labels – none of us fit neatly into either Liberal or Conservative. I consider myself independent of those labels allowing myself to use my common sense as needed. Sometimes it is a liberal notion sometimes a conservative one as the need dictates.
I never enjoyed having others use a label as evidence against me – we have just demonstrated how painful that might be.
I accepted you without the label — I never thought of you as a liberal- and I never meant to suggest you would tolerate such behavior. Sorry if you took my comments personally. I thought we were discussing these opinions in the objective.
Again – I never categorized you!

Georgia,
re: BJ and Poetri, my perspective is that women and men both play a role in all this.

I agree.

They certainly do, but this entire conversation stemmed from my reply to Poetri and was about his view on what women can and should do about it!

I apologize for any confusion that my conversation directly with Poetri over his specific comments might have caused. Let me see if I can sort this out so I do not offend the innocent here as that was definitely not my intent. I am seeking only to find a way to end this debauchery of women and I firmly believe it has to come from the women themselves.

Poetri wrote
“Women are well informed of the language men use to dehumanize them but they must not give it power. I am in no way shape or form saying that it is ok for men to disrespect women, I am more or so saying that with the current situation at hand, women can do something about it.”

“I believe women should educate men on how to talk to them because there is no better teacher. One woman at a time should stand up and really declare that they have had enough.”

Based on the research I have done over 30 years and the sexualizing series I run wherein I posit women’s toleration is at least partially responsible, therefore without protest it continues and grows.

Here is my evidence, For thirty years, media have been taken to task for reproducing and reinforcing stereotyped images of women. Yet unfair representations of women in media still prevail worldwide. Sex stereotyping has been so deeply ingrained, even glorified, that the women themselves have become desensitized to their own inferior portrayal. The prospects appear even gloomier as the globalization of media progresses. (Kyung-Ja Lee, 2000, p.86)

I can supply what his studies were based on if you wish?

Poetri, by his own admission, clearly agrees and I invite his perspective as a possible revelation to women. Unlike brutes, he agrees men should know better and at the same time acknowledges women need to take responsibility for their own behavior. I found that refreshing and welcome the point of view from men willing to share respectfully.

I feel it is important to explore a possible solution rather than just complain about the problem Poetri brought up a point worth exploring. Clearly every action has a reaction. I would like to find a solution to the very question prompted by his comment – what women can and should do about dehumanizing language?

Poetri, I welcome your comments; I am still looking for men willing to express your point of view on this topic, to whom do you attribute some part of the blame?

I invite you to comment on my sexualizing series which clearly asks women – why we are buying these products which clearly dehumanize us. Women are spending upwards of 900.00 on shoes advertized in the best magazines displaying the women beaten, bloodied, or their mutilated bodies hanging out of a trunk but their shoes are in perfect condition.

These ads cost millions and so do the shoes, obviously the shoes are selling and the women are wearing them.

Well, I believe change needs to come from both women and men. Part of the reason change doesn’t happen is that there’s often a lack of conciousness. I want to bring some of that unconciousness out into the open. It’s the only way things can change.

Please excuse my absence. Thank you both freemenow and broadblogs for your contributions. These conversations are most needed. If men and women continue to have these courageous conversations, a change will soon take place. Freemenow, I appreciate your kind words; I truly try my best to inform women that good men exist and give them hope while motivating men to be their own man and show them how not to follow pop culture always. BroadBlogs you facilitate excellent discussions. I learned about this blog from my professor, Rachel at Foothill College. By the way, freemenow, I’ll be sure to visit your blog.

Poetri,
I am pleased that you have accepted the discussion in the spirit I intended. Indeed this boldness and honesty is for the courageous and nothing less is acceptable if there is to be the needed change. You have honored both yourself and me.
I look forward to continued discussions with you.