Tag Archive | Wit’s End

When it comes to sending your child to residential therapy it is probably one of the hardest decisions a parent can make. It just doesn’t seem normal to send your teenager to a behavioral modification program. Let’s face it – we all know that sending them to college is part of the circle of life, but no one prepares us for the potholes that some families face – residential treatment centers.

As the holidays approach a teenager’s behavior can sometimes escalate and this can leave a parent with a decision that they don’t want to make. How can they send their child into a teen help program during this time of the year?

As a Parent Advocate and Parent Consultant, I share with parents that you have many years ahead of you to have many wonderful holidays together – however in some cases, it can mean saving your child’s life by removing them from not-so-safe situations – especially if they are involved in drug use or hanging out with unsavory groups of what they consider friends. With the extra time off from school -it sometimes can add up to more time for trouble.

Are you struggling with your teenager? Confused about what school or program is best for their needs? I founded Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, Inc over a decade ago for parents that are at their wit’s end – after I was duped and my daughter abused at a program that mislead us. Our experiences are only to help educate parents – there are more good programs than there are not so good one. It is up to you to do your due diligence.

Remember, family is a priority – your child’s welfare comes first. There will always be more holidays – let’s be sure your child’s safety and security are first and foremost.

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Many people have asked about her, and she is now a grown woman, successful in her career and has two children of her own. We have overcome the hurdles – not because of the horrific program she went to, but in spite of it – and because of the fantastic help we found after it to help de-programize her from the damage they did to her.

I always share with parents to learn from my mistake and gain from my knowledge. That is the biggest gift I can give.

You have exhausted all your local resources, your nerves are fried, you have removed all their privileges and nothing is making a difference – you are literally a hostage to your own child!

What now?

It is time for outside help… but you get online and realize first the sticker shock…. (price of programs and schools) then you see all these horror stories – EXACTLY WHO SHOULD YOU BELIEVE?

Your gut!

Years ago I was in your exact spot – and I didn’t listen my gut, and the results were not good, however it had a purpose. The reason was to be a part of helping parents not make the mistakes I did.

When you get online you will see many toll free numbers going to places unknown. Usually sales reps that will more than happily give you a list of programs that they believe will be perfect for your child – but how do they know?

Point is – you don’t want a sales rep – you don’t want a marketing arm, you want an owner, a director or someone that will be vested in your child’s recovery and healing process. Someone that will be held accountable – their reputation will be reflected upon your child’s success.

I created an organization that helps educate parents to better understand the big business of residential therapy. There are questions parents need to ask, that many don’t think about while they are desperate for help such as when will they be able to speak with their child or visit their child.

I encourage you to visit www.helpyourteens.com and find out more about residential therapy – especially if you are considering the next step. Don’t wait for a crisis to happen. Be prepared.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Let’s face it, parenting teens today has become more challenging than years before. Think about your generation. When your parent said to be home at 10:00pm, most were home by 9:50pm. Why? Because we respected our parents. We also knew there would be consequences.

Was that considered tough love? Not really, it was simply following the rules of the house. These simple boundaries seem to have disappeared in many homes.

Is it because there are more single parent households? Is it because most families have both parents working, meaning there is less supervision?

Without a doubt, the level of respect that some teens show today is despicable. No matter what the reason is, your teen is creating tough love – and it gets tougher to love them as they continue to defy us, yet we will always love unconditionally. Could this be why they push our buttons?

Years ago we rarely heard about residential therapy. Today these boarding schools are busting at the seams as teens are learning to appreciate what they had at home. Is residential therapy tough love? No, residential therapy it is about regaining your child back. Tough love can be part of the process.

The first semester of school is over, now we are on to the final few months – and your teen is debating whether they “want” to finish school? Excuse me – you mean teens have options?

Believe it or not, yes they do! In Florida, at the age of 16 your teen can sign themselves out of school – of course they need your consent, however if you don’t, truancy charges will linger.

Now what? Virtual school? Homeschooling? GED? Who would have thought – generations prior graduating high school was never an option. Today is a new world.

Let’s compound this and you suspect or know your teen is using drugs, drinking and seriously mom, it’s no big deal?! Really?

Now they develop an attitude of defiance, start sneaking out, completely disrespectful to your home and your boundaries…..

You find this is getting out-of-control and you realize that you have a limited time to get them help since at the age of 18 you no longer have control.

After exhausting all your local resources, therapy, outpatient programs, support groups – and some even send their teen to a relatives to live, you soon realize you need to take that big step – residential therapy.

You jump online after the sticker shock you find all these disturbing websites about all these so-called teen help programs, you find former students, disgruntled parents (which I was one at one time), as well as enough negative information you stop in your tracks.

I get it – I have been there -I fell for the fraud online – I won a major jury trial proving our experiences were true – even with our horrific experiences, I still believe parents need options.

Some of the wealthier ones will hire an Educational Consultant, believing they are safe with these professionals. Well, chances are good – you are safe, but are you being spun in the EC Shuffle? Yes, that is a name some of us call it – they seem to have a cookie-cutter program design – Most clients start in Wilderness (and I can name the top 3 most EC’s give out) then they go on to a longer term program.

Hmmm…. why not start and finish at the same place? Why not find a solid 6-9-12 month program that offers consistency?

Most EC’s or programs associated with Wilderness Programs will tell you that the time in the wilderness will break your child down? Really, I am sure it will – but isn’t our teen already broken if we are seeking this help? Isn’t it time to start working towards building them back up by working through their issues?

My best advice to parents is to know this decision to find residential therapy is one of the most difficult many parents need to make. You should take it lightly or make the decision when you are in crisis. If you see the road getting bumpy – do your homework early – so when that urgency hits, you are ready.

Also know this is not about “shipping off” your teen – it is about giving them a second opportunity at a bright future – after all, if you let things continue to escalate – what will be the ending?

My next post will have some hints to finding safe and quality programs. My experiences and sound opinions – they may be criticized by some – but at the end of the day, I am a parent that has been right where you are, at your wit’s end.

What can be described in many different ways is how we have just entered 2011 and life goes on same as peer pressure, school, work and other aspects of your everyday world.

With a new year, it is also an opportunity – maybe a second chance for some, but for all parents of youths today, it is a time to promote education on substance abuse prevention.

Youth360 (wreckED) is a community-based program designed to educate youth about substance abuse through an engaging presentation meant to challenge their behavior toward alcohol and other drugs. The program provides the opportunity for teens to fully reflect upon the choices and consequences associated with alcohol and drug abuse and to continually keep themselves and their friends in check.

The Partnership at Drugfree.org has created PACT360 which offers community education for parents, youths and others.

Are you a teen or a youth debating whether to try drugs? Are you thinking, ‘well, everyone is doing it and they seem okay’ or maybe, ‘it is only once, it is no big deal’.

Not only is this a big deal, it needs to be dealt with before it gets to this point. It is important for parents to talk to their kid often about the dangers of drug use as well as how to handle peer pressure.

Ask your kids: How do you think drugs and alcohol affect a person’s behavior? What would you do if you were with someone who was drunk or high and they asked you to join in? Learn about different scenarios here.

Be the one to take the first step this year and get your community involved in Youth360, Parents360 through PACT360 today! Make this your New Year’s Resolution – you never know how many lives you could be saving.

During the holidays the added stress can cause contention as well as family disputes.

However if you are dealing with an at-risk teenager, a teen that was already struggling down a negative path – maybe experimenting with drugs or hanging with a less than desirable peer group or has failed their first semester of school, holiday times can be more strenuous.

Dealing with troubled teens at any time of the year is not easy, it is a challenge. Dealing with troubled teens during the holidays can be double the trouble. With time off from school, many families have both parents working with limited supervision at home which leaves many teens on their own. Have you checked your medicine cabinets lately?

Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, founded in Broward County, has been helping families with teens in trouble for almost a decade. One of the common threads is during the holidays when teens start to escalate with their issues, and parents will go deep into denial hoping to get through the holidays.

What they don’t seem to understand is that teenager is crying out for help and prolonging this help can only make things worse – whether it ends up in a legal battle or otherwise, if you are debating an intervention with your teens, don’t hestitate because it is the holiday. There will be many more holidays in the future and the sooner you get your teen help, the sooner your family will be on the road to healing.

Being a parent in denial is also being selfish. This is not about the parent – it is about the teen. There will be plenty of time for blame and/or shame later, the immediate issue is getting your teen help.

Ask yourself:

Is your teen escalating out of control?

Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?

Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?

Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?

Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?

Is your teen verbally abusive?

Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?

Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?

Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?

Does your teen belong to a gang?

Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?

Do you have a good teen making bad choices?Defiance?Disrespectful?Underachieving?Wrong peer group?Addicted to their devices?Sneaking out of the house?Experimenting with drugs or alcohol?Withdrawn, secretive - not participating in family functions?Have you exhausted your local resources? Therapy didn't work?Contact Parent Universal Resources for a free c […]

There's no app for parenting teens online today - yet according to a recent PEW Research survey 95 percent of teenagers have access to a smartphone while almost half, 45 percent claim they are online constantly. That's up significantly from the last survey in 2015 when it was 24 percent were on almost constantly.What else has changed?Where the kid […]

In 2017 we heard a lot about digital resilience, but do we understand what it is? Helping our teens be ready for online hate and digital discourse offline can better prepare them when they are faced with it. Reality is that incivility exists - sadly this is a human behavior that we don't have control over, but we can choose how we handle it. Today our k […]

Have you been told your teen needs a wilderness program?As a Parent Advocate and Family Consultant in the Teen Help Industry since 2001, there’s no secret -it’s a big business.On a weekly basis we receive calls from parents that have parted with thousands of dollars after a conversation with someone that advises them that their teenager needs a wilderness ex […]

As a parent that was once in your shoes over a decade ago, I've seen a shift in the teen help industry. It's still a big business, however with the challenges of medical insurance limiting what they will cover, average parents are having to seek options that may not be exactly what they expected or in the best interest of their child.Marketing and […]

Internet safety, cyberbullying and bullying is a major concern for people of all ages.Whether you’re tween is being harassed online or in school, or maybe a teenager that is being mocked on Facebook or any social media platform, as a parent it’s your job to try to be involved as much as possible. This isn’t always easy, which is probably why it’s topping the […]

There are many forms of online cruelty. The irony of it is I read so much about youth bullying, and I don't want to diminish that it is an important issue -- but the fact is adults are not only victims of harassment, they can be the perpetrators too. As I continue to write about bullying and cyberbullying, it never ceases to amaze me how many differen […]

Is your teen a victim of cyberbullying? Warning signs your teen might be struggling with online harassment: Appears to be sad, angry or even frustrated after texting or online.Avoids wanting to talk about their digital activity. (At which point you should encourage them to get online with you, have them teach you something about social media - a new app, any […]

It's no longer about a simple mean tweet or harsh comment, we are now dealing with verbal violence and cyber-harassment. Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks) is finally here, make no mistake about it, we're all a click away from digital disaster. With 92% of Americans armed with smartphones -- ready to record your most em […]

Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.™) was founded in 2001 by author and parent advocate, Sue Scheff. Since that time, P.U.R.E.™ has provided over 100,000 families with valuable information and resources for their at risk children and teens. These are teens who are struggling with peer pressure, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and are si […]