“Some of the names Matthews has called Ms. Clinton? “She Devil,” “Nurse Ratched,” “Madame Defarge.” (You know, the haggy, knitting, plotting character in A Tale Of Two Cities noted for being a ruthless villain?) It doesn’t end there, though.

Matthews has also spouted that Clinton is “witchy,” “anti-male” and “uppity.” And he was one of the first to mock Ms. Clinton’s laugh, saying “what do you make of the cackle?” In his eyes, she’s Maleficent, a full-on Disney witch.”

OK–I think that I’ve demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that, according to the Left, if you are a woman who is challenging The One in any way, then their response is, “Burn the witch!” Therefore, Bill Maher’s pathetic attempt to paint Christine O’Donnell as a witch is really straight out of the progressive playbook. (In fact, Richard Cohen just wrote a column yesterday playing the witch/masturbation card on Christine O’Donnell).

Now, on to my second point about the Left vs. women who challenge Obama.

Now, after all of the evidence that I have presented, I think that one thing is painfully obvious (besides the fact that the Left is composed of a lot of pervs who would rather talk about witchcraft and masturbation than the economy and jobs)–we are playing the game by their rules, not our own. And guess what? This game is rigged against us. Simply put, the rules of this game are to call any woman who challenges Obama and his agenda a “witch”, or say perverted things about her and her family. And, if we complain about these Chicago tactics and don’t take ‘the high road”, then we are “Raaaaacists!!” (that’s five A’s). Well, in the spirit of Bill Maher, I’ve decided that it’s time for us conservatives to make some “New Rules”.

New Rule: It is time for us to start engaging in Chicago politics as well.

I think that it is time for us to start taking our inspiration–figuratively speaking, of course–from Sean Connery’s character (Sargent Malone) in The Untouchables.

“They bring a knife, you bring a gun. That’s the Chicago way!”

For too long, we’ve been showing up to knife fights with Wiffle ball bats. That’s got to change.

For example, when Sarah Palin was running for President, so-called liberals had no problem bringing up her daughter’s youthful indiscretion. Not to mention, as The Hillbuzz points out, the Left had no problem pointing out Scott Brown’s youthful indiscretion of posing in Cosmopolitan as a centerfold, and they tried to paint him as “a former nude model”. (By the way, The Hillbuzz must be commended for coming up with the term “Hottie McAwesome” for Scott Brown, because that totally took the wind out of the left’s sails with regard to attacking him.) And now, the Left is bringing up Christine O’Donnell’s youthful indiscretions of dabbling in witchcraft–in high school–and of promoting an anti-wanking policy, back in 1995, when she was a conservative activist.

Now, I ask you, why aren’t we allowed to bring up Barack Obama’s youthful indiscretions–like for instance, “dabbling in cocaine”, and then writing about it–in a book? I mean, we all remember Bill Clinton’s “I didn’t inhale” moment, and reporters spreading rumors about George W. Bush doing cocaine. No one at the time thought it was “distasteful” to bring up their youthful indiscretions/drug dabbling–and neither one of them wrote about their drug use in a book! However, then someone changed the rules and said that it was “beyond the pale” to bring up Obama’s past drug use. Who made that rule anyway? Oh yeah–it was the Obama campaign (and the MSM–same thing).

It’s time to change the rules back in our favor. The next time that I hear anyone bring up Christine O’Donnell’s youthful indiscretions (that the last time I checked, she wasn’t running on–Obama was, in part, running on his book), I am going to say the following–

“OK–so Christine O’Donnell may have dabbled in witchcraft in high school. Barack Obama dabbled in booger sugar as an adult (in college). Oh, and the last time that I checked, being “master of your domain”, or being a Wiccan, is not against the law–cocaine is. So tell me, why are Obama’s youthful indiscretions off limits, but Christine O’Donnell’s aren’t?”

[Hey Lefties, I hope that you like this song (see below), because every time that one of you trolls here and mentions Christine O’Donnell’s youthful indiscretions, I’m going to mention Obama’s–and then I’m going to play this song–]

“The Reverend Jeremiah Wright thinks that, given their treatment by white America, black Americans have no reason to sing “God Bless America.” “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, no, no, God damn America,” he told his congregation. “God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human.”

I’m not a believer in guilt by association, or the campaign vaudeville of rival politicians insisting this or that candidate disassociate himself from remarks by some fellow he had a 30-second grip’n’greet with a decade ago. But Jeremiah Wright is not exactly peripheral to Barack Obama’s life. He married the Obamas and baptized their children. Those of us who made the mistake of buying the senator’s last book, The Audacity of Hope, and assumed the title was an ingeniously parodic distillation of the great sonorous banality of an entire genre of blandly uplifting political writing discovered circa page 127 that in fact the phrase comes from one of the Reverend Wright’s sermons. Jeremiah Wright has been Barack Obama’s pastor for 20 years – in other words, pretty much the senator’s entire adult life. Did Obama consider God Damn America as a title for his book but it didn’t focus-group so well?”

I freely admit to being a tad bit bored with the whole Reverend Wright brouhaha. However, if the Left wants to play “the wacky religion game”, then I say–let’s tussle.

New Rule: The race card is maxed out.

Because of the previous New Rule that it’s now in vogue to bring up Reverend Wright whenever the Left brings up witchcraft, with regard to Christine O’Donnell (they really brought this on themselves), the Left will now cry, pout, stomp their feet, accuse you of “spreading the poison”, and finally, call you a “racist”. Let them. Then, play this video–and explain to them real slowly that even Jon Stewart, now, understands that the race card is maxed out.

Oh, and judging from this woman’s question below, it’s not just the race card that’s maxed out, but everybody’s credit cards–and patience–as well.

New Rule: Don’t be afraid to call the Left “sexist” or “misogynist”.

For starters, they sure as heck aren’t afraid to call us “racist!!”–based on absolutely no evidence at all.

Look–I realize that it goes against the natural grain of conservatism to call someone a sexist or a racist–we don’t like the whole victim thingy. However, I didn’t think that being a conservative was about taking crap from Kos kiddies either. The Left knows that we are loathe to play the victim card, so they keep right on calling conservative women (and even Hillary Clinton) “witches” thinking that we will just shut up and take it. Well, we’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore. And besides, what do you have to do to actually be called a sexist or a misogynist in Leftist circles–condone female genital mutilation?! Oh, wait, they’ve already done that. Anywho, if calling a woman a “witch”, writing about her underwear and her sex life, joking about her daughter “getting knocked up”, discussing her take on masturbation fifteen years ago, or fantasizing about how you would like to violate conservative women isn’t sexist or misogynist, then nothing is.

Oh, and if any of you wonder how to go about doing this, then look no further than the video below. Pat Buchanan–of all people–calls Chris Matthews to the carpet brilliantly on his piggish behavior. (I realize that some here have their differences with Buchanan–but on this issue, he hit it out of the park. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.) For the first fifty seconds of the video Chris Matthews thinks that he’s winning the debate, well, because he’s shouting the loudest and talking over Buchanan. Then, at around 50 seconds in, Buchanan finally gets fed up with Matthews’ foolishness and says the following to him–

Matthews’ face then turned beet red and he started stammering something about Buchanan being “Alan Alda” (he sounded like an eight year old caught in a 1970’s time warp). It was obvious that Matthews was humiliated on national television, and that he had just had his *ss handed to him.

Again, when you stand your ground against progressives, they will shamelessly play the race card–or try to shame you for taking the fight to them, and not letting them shout you down. They will be INDIGNANT!!…because their chickens are coming home…to roost. For the love of God and your own body, don’t back down! The best example of ground standing that I’ve seen recently is Megyn Kelly’s on air spat with Kirsten Powers over The New Black Panther Party not being prosecuted by Obama’s DOJ for obvious voter intimidation. When Kelly pressed the issue of why Obama’s DOJ dropped a case of such clear-cut voter intimidation–that they had already won–Powers accused her of being a racist by saying “Oooh, scary black man!”. Kelly’s eye’s then narrowed and she bellowed, “Excuse me?!”…and then proceeded to rain hellfire down on poor Kirsten Powers (who I don’t think is a bad person–she just obviously didn’t get the memo that the race card is maxed out). Powers never saw it coming, and she was reduced to whining, “But, George Bush!!”. (Someone also must have forgot to inform her that the Bush card is maxed out as well, but I digress.)

New Rule: Don’t worry if the Leftist MSM, or David Brooks, likes you.

If they dislike you, or find you to be “spreading the poison”, that means you are winning. See Sarah Palin and the Tea Party as exhibit A of this phenomenon.

Let’s look at the Republicans that the so-called liberal MSM does like, shall we? OK–there’s Dede Scozzafova, Mike Castle, Arlen Specter and Lisa Murkowski. Whatever do they all have in common? Oh yeah–they lost!! Oh, and if Mike Castle had won in DE and Christine O’Donnell had lost, then the MSM would be trying to destroy him right now and would be crying crocodile tears for Christine O’Donnell.

So, in conclusion, it should be apparently obvious to anyone reading this column that the whole “Burn the witch!!” brouhaha that Bill Maher started is really about a whole lot more than just Christine O’Donnell–and it’s about more than just Bill Maher as well. It is about how we conservatives have been playing by the rules that the MSM and the Obama Administration have set for us–rules that are stacked against us. I mean, could any of you imagine the MSM outcry if conservative pundits were using the same line of attacks against a liberal woman that progressives are now employing against Christine O’Donnell?! The Left would be screaming at the top of their lungs that those attacks were beyond the pale–and they would be right.

However, the whole ugly Christine O’Donnell cloud does have a silver lining. Whether he realizes it or not (and I doubt that he does), Bill Maher has managed to expose how actually weak the Left really is right now. Think about it. If Barack Obama had been a successful president thus far, do you really think that the Left would be reduced to discussing witchcraft and masturbation?! Heck no! They would be talking about job numbers and the economy. Barack Obama’s message has gone from “Yes we can!” to “Yes we can–you won’t go blind or grow hair on your palms!” and, “Yes we can dunk her in water and see if she floats!”.

And finally, with his disgusting attacks egged on by the so-called liberal MSM, Maher has probably woken up a slew of Mama Grizzlies from their slumber. He definitely woke me up. I say that it’s time to emerge from our hibernation. It’s time to let them hear us roar. Looky–I can see November from my house!

PS–I agree with the boys over at The Hillbuzz that Defying Gravity, from the Broadway musical Wicked, should be Christine O’Donnell’s theme song. Oh heck–any excuse to hear Idina Menzel sing.