Kevin Haas: World needs a lot less kissing

Friday

May 14, 2010 at 12:01 AMMay 14, 2010 at 2:16 PM

For those of us outside of Hollywood, it’s hard to remember that acting is a job. It’s a strange profession, though, because it’s the only job where your boss is allowed to force you to kiss your co-workers.

Kevin Haas

For those of us outside of Hollywood, it’s hard to remember that acting is a job.

It’s a strange profession, though, because it’s the only job where your boss is allowed to force you to kiss your co-workers.

Anyone who’s ever taken a mandatory sexual harassment seminar knows that’s not cool in the real world. But that rule apparently doesn’t apply when it’s for entertainment.

Can you imagine if that was acceptable in any job? Your boss saunters over to you and says, “Tina (in this scenario your name is Tina), I need you to go over and make out with Bart from finance. And don’t be stingy with the tongue.”

I took the sexual harassment course, you’d protest. You can’t force me to do that unless it’s for entertainment.

“Don’t worry,” he’d say. “Greg and Jimmy from accounts receivable will be watching.”

I mention this because of a Los Angeles Times blog post from Tuesday about a Facebook protest that the show “Modern Family” has not let gay couple Cam and Mitchell share an on-screen kiss. The group is apparently upset because a show where two protagonists are a gay couple has less guy-on-guy action than the WWE.

Networks still have to tread lightly before allowing a same-sex kiss. Just look at the repercussions from Britney Spears and Madonna’s kiss at the MTV movie awards. It’s been seven years since then and guys are still sore from all the high-fives.

The protest page already has nearly 5,200 fans and got a response from ABC saying one of the characters has a problem with public displays of affection.

I for one am glad that someone is making a stand against public displays of affection. Maybe if Hollywood could shame more people away from PDA I could finally stand in line at Great America without being wedged between teenage couples with their tongues down each other’s throats.

I feel surrounded by that whenever I’m stuck in line at a theme park. Is that the only way they can pass the time? I mean, haven’t these kids ever heard of I Spy? That’s the real reason people scream so much on roller coasters. They’re not afraid; they’re yelling, “GET A ROOM!”

I guess what I’m saying here is that I don’t care whether or not ABC lets the “Modern Family” couple kiss. Just, for God’s sake, don’t let it be anywhere near a roller coaster.

Staff writer Kevin Haas hates all forms of PDA. (Get a room, presidential candidate and baby!) He can be reached at khaas@rrstar.com or 815-987-1354.

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