I thought about writing this for my kindergarten blog, but I
decided that I would reach more parents and teachers here.

This is about one of my pet peeves, okay?

It’s about people constantly telling kids to do something or
NOT do something, and then following their words with “okay?”, which in effect
cancels whatever they said.

I know the purpose of the inquiry is to determine if the
child understands what you just said.

The intention is to ask if the child agrees to comply with
your request.

But a common interpretation by the child is that you are
asking his permission to give him instructions and he may just decide not
to give it. “Stop that, okay?” just doesn’t have the same impact as “Stop that.
Do you understand me? Stop that now!” The second “request” was the one used by
my father, and believe me, he wasn’t asking my permission.

I try not to give complicated directions to the students in
my class. I try not to have too many rules to follow. I try not to let them
give lengthy explanations for their misbehavior. And I instantly call a halt to any excuse that
begins with “___ told me….”

So the next time you tell your child to do something, please
make sure it is simple, specific, and direct, okay?

Our “end of summer” weather is not cooperating with the
increase in my responsibilities elsewhere! Dragging a hose around is not what I
want to do after a busy day at school. Last night I left it in various locations
for fifteen minutes each and then finished off with a little hand watering of
some plants that are away from the bigger beds. Also trying to keep my youngest
trees alive.

Last night the birds took turns at the bath and did a lot of
splashing. The horses stood around in the shade. The squirrel waited until
nearly dark to come out for a bite of dinner. All of us are ready for some
cooler weather and the calendar says we should get it. I hope the weatherman
agrees very soon!

The first big holiday weekend is upon us and I pray that
everyone stays safe! I’ll stay home.

There are 101 things wrong with public education. Most of
them could be solved by money and logic…both of which are in short supply. That
being said, I would NOT teach anywhere else. Public education is the ONLY
system that truly prepares our children for their future as citizens of the
world.

Let me back up a bit and say that I am writing this because
I am so tired of people complaining about public education and doing absolutely nothing about it. They
are quick to point out the problems, but don’t want to put forth any effort to
be part of the solution. Instead they run off to try a private school, or
charter school, or homeschooling. Instead of making education better for all children, they want to remove
theirs from the system. Well, at some point those children have to be sent back
into the real world. My fear is that they will not have the social skills,
problem-solving skills, or independence to function with their peers.

Education isn’t just about learning facts and figures. It’s
about adapting to situations and people. It’s about learning to survive in a
world that is not always perfect. It’s about challenging yourself and stepping
out of your comfort zone. It’s about finding out who you are by comparing
yourself to others. It’s about joining groups and working together to support
causes and solve problems. It’s about realizing that YOU are not the center of
the universe.

I have a Master’s degree in school administration, yet I
would not for one moment consider homeschooling a child unless they had a
health condition that prevented them from attending school. In addition to
missing out on social interaction and problem solving I would also have the
following concerns: 1. The child would be exposed to only one teaching style-
mine. 2. I would not be able to teach all of the subjects and skills required
for a well-rounded education. 3. I would be inclined to cater to the child
rather than challenge him. 4. The child would have difficulty functioning in
public school when and if they returned to it. Homeschooling reminds me of growing
a plant in a greenhouse. Some of those plants don’t survive the transition to a
real garden!

When I see that people have removed their children from the
public education system I want to ask them how many times they offered to
volunteer at their local school. How many discussions did they have with the
school superintendent about changing things? How many school board meetings did
they attend in order to voice their opinion and offer solutions to local
problems? How many times did they contact the state office? How many times did
they communicate with their state representative?

We see protest groups on the news every night. They are
demanding more pay, better healthcare, more security, privacy rights, gay
rights, gun rights, etc. Where are the groups demanding better education? Where
are the groups demanding new school buildings? Where are the groups demanding
smaller classes? Where are the groups demanding the right to send our children
to a school that is equipped to prepare them for their future? It angers me to
see how many millionaires and charity groups are showering children in other
countries with money and equipment while ignoring those here.

I heard yesterday that yet another class is starting this school
year with 30+ kindergartners in a room with ONE teacher and no assistant. Why
does everyone sit back and let that happen? Why aren’t at least 20 parents
demanding that the district create another class? Why does everyone back away
when the answer is “we don’t have the money”? It’s obvious that someone in this
country has the money because there ARE schools with more teachers, better
equipment, and newer buildings.

Okay, I’m out of time so I will climb down off my soapbox and
get ready to teach my class. If I offended you with my opinion I’m sorry. You should
hear the ones I keep to myself.

When I was younger I didn’t know a lot about what was going
on in the rest of the country, much less the world. Oh, I paid lip service to a
few political issues, and faithfully watched the evening news, but I didn’t understand
how the events and issues really impacted the people involved. I corresponded
with a few friends and relatives in other states, but for the most part we all
focused on raising our children and surviving our personal problems. Our letters
were about school and health and social activities and church. And by the time we exchanged information most
events were old news.

So much has changed since the internet has become my window
on the world! With email and FB and access to newspapers from anywhere I feel
informed and involved in the world, sometimes overwhelmingly so. Friends and
relatives from other places let me know not only what is going on, but how it
affects their daily life. If there is a storm in Florida or a fire in
California or a problem in the Middle East, I worry about friends and anxiously
await word of their safety. No longer is a crisis something that happens to strangers. Chances are that
anything that happens anywhere is “six degrees” from someone I know!

Of course there are also great benefits in knowing people
all over the country. I love seeing family photos, hearing about other schools,
getting travel advice, comparing prices, etc. I often think about how long my
grandmother’s generation had to wait for news from loved ones. Even with
telephones there was sometimes a long delay between an event and the opportunity
to call anyone and inform them of it. And I remember many, many times in my own
lifetime when my parents could not phone anyone, anywhere because all the lines
were busy!

Naturally we can overindulge in news and views from others.
We can spend far too much time on FB and get carried away with reading about
the life of someone else, especially if we find their life more exciting than
our own! But I’m happy to have the options and opportunities that I have. My
mother would have loved the chance to correspond with her grandchildren and
receive a quick reply.

I’ve admitted before that I’m a bit of a control freak.
However, I try to remind myself not to attempt to extend that control to other
people or my relationships with them. I can control my reactions to others. I
can control what I say to them. I can control how I want to manage our
relationship. But even if I like someone, or love someone, I can’t control or
change their words, feelings, actions,
habits, or addictions. I learned that lesson when I was just a child.

My grandfather was an alcoholic and no matter how much my
grandmother loved him, no matter how much I loved him, no matter how much
anyone loved him, he continued to drink until the day he died. He always said
he drank because grandmother nagged him so much, and she said she nagged him
because he drank so much. They finally divorced, but grandmother continued to
take care of him by shopping for him, taking him to the doctor, and generally
monitoring his life. She kept a bit of control over him, but not enough to ever
save him from his addiction. And never in my whole life did I ever hear him say
he wanted to stop drinking.

The classic mistake made by nearly every new bride, new
parent, or even new friend is to think they can change, modify, alter, adjust,
or fine-tune some problematic personality trait or habit in another person simply
through the power of love. I believe in the power of love and prayer to motivate change, but the change itself
is ALWAYS dependent on the will and willingness of the person with the problem.
You can lead a horse to water…

I am reminded of that saying each time I hear a young woman
say that she will eventually get her husband to stop…whatever. Maybe, maybe
not. What is most likely to occur is that he will just stop doing it in her
presence.

I am reminded of that saying each time I hear a young parent
say they will “make” their child learn something for my class. No they won’t.
Neither will I. We will both encourage and enable, but the actual learning is
up to the child.

I am reminded of that saying each time I hear a teenager say
they can avoid being influenced by friends who have bad habits like drug
addictions, drinking and smoking. Maybe, maybe not. But I doubt they will
influence their friends to change and they may even be harmed by the
relationship. So I’m left to wonder why they want that person to be their friend.

Most often what I write about is a reminder to improve
myself before I try to improve someone else. This piece is no exception. I
found myself irritated, angry, and hurt by a few things I heard and read and experienced
this week. So I needed this little reminder that I can’t always control what
happens. I can’t change other people. I can’t take away their problems. I can
only control my feelings and actions.
I can only control what I do next. So I find myself doing what I always do…pondering
and praying…and persisting on a positive path.

During the summer my weekends are “more of the same”, but
they become precious opportunities during the school year and I find myself facing
each one with the same dilemma- “rest and enjoy” or “complete as many errands
and chores as possible”? I have to admit
that as a workaholic I am guilty of doing the latter more often than not. But
this year I want things to be different. I want to spend a few more of my weekends
wandering the garden, exploring new places with my camera, and reading a good
book. So I have decided that I need to change a few of my habits.

For years I have shopped for groceries once a week, usually
on Saturday morning. My punishment for this habit is two-fold: 1. Far bigger
crowds and chaos on Saturday. 2. More physical stress loading and unloading
groceries because I try to buy so much (weekly needs + a few things for the
pantry). This year I want to try
shopping after school, two afternoons per week. I plan to buy fewer items
during each excursion AND plan most trips when Gary will be home to help
unload. I know I will be tired after school, but my reward will be a Saturday
morning free for leisure activities. And before the winter months arrive I plan
to have enough food stocked in the pantry to pare my shopping down to one quick
afternoon trip per week.

Housework is something I usually ignore during the week,
except for dishes and keeping the bathroom cleaned. This year I want to do one small
chore each evening so I don’t spend two hours every Saturday on cleaning. Gary
and I really aren’t that messy! It’s the dust, laundry, and spider webs that
keep me busy. And cleaning my aquariums usually takes about half an hour. I’ve
started scrubbing them a bit every other night. Gary and I have already divided
the laundry. He has been taking care of the towels. I wash the sheets and our
clothes. Just eliminating one load from my list helps so much!

As I get older I find myself trying to simplify more aspects
of my life! Hopefully these simple changes will give me a better balance
between “working weekends” and “wonderful weekends”.

(Note: these old slides are from Yosemite, one of the places
where we used to wander on Saturdays. There is currently a huge fire raging
dangerously close to the park.)

We had a major computer crash and I have been distraught
about the possibility of losing not only my favorite form of communication, but
my files. I have so many files!! I have saved a few of them to flash drives,
but I was reminded that I have not been diligent about keeping that up or about
saving my photos to the two sites I have been using. MUST get that done!

I was also reminded by this that I am very dependent on the
computer. My work files are on it and I use it to upload my lesson plans to our
website. (I don’t have time to use the school computer unless I stay after
school.) I manage the Caddo website. I write my blogs. I upload photos. I do
genealogy research. I post photos and information to Find A Grave. I communicate through email and FB. A major
part of my life has been “on hold” these past few days.

Years ago I thought the computer would be like another
typewriter or word processor and I would be able to write a little faster. It has
become so much more!

Let this be a warning to you. We are all one click away from
a virus or hacker or scam or aging computer. Think about what you would lose and take action
today to protect what you have stored on your devices, including your phone.

We don’t have cable television or hundreds of channels or
Netflix or any of the options that others pay to have. I’m frugal, have very
little time for watching television, and don’t have children in the house, so I
am mostly content with our eight channels. However, there are times, especially
lately, when there is absolutely nothing on worth watching! And the fall
promises to be “more of the same”.

I want to sit down with those in charge of creating new
shows and ask them about their creative process, their research on target
audiences, and their purpose in providing the viewing public with GARBAGE. I
have seen very little in the way of intelligent entertainment, with the
exception of a few returning programs. It won’t matter until the weather gets
cold and the living room is cozy and I’m too tired to read, but still…one could
hope for better choices. I freely admit to indulging in some “mindless viewing”
-Survivor, Big Bang, Amazing Race- but even those have gotten far too
predictable.

Maybe the producers of television shows need to pay more
attention to the commercials. Some of them are more entertaining than the
programs! Of course there are
exceptions; Sonic and Jack need to fire the ad team that produces their offensive
commercials. The locals need to stop assuming that I’m stupid and remember that
our money can be spent almost anywhere.

Gary says I shouldn’t worry about what is on television anyway-
I’m usually so tired that I don’t last through more than an hour of it. He’s
probably right. I’ll find a show I like and then won’t be able to keep my eyes
open to watch it!

Each fall I try to assess what has taken place in my garden
since the spring. Pictures help me. Sometimes I take notes. Most of the time I
just think about what made me happy and what didn’t. I look at what is growing
right now. Next I sit down and make a list of plants I want to add to next year’s
garden. I know it is still early, but I just received my Wild Seed Farms catalog so my thoughts are skipping ahead.

I have been very pleased with my desert willow. It has
bloomed since June and still has blossoms and buds on it. I’ve read that
planting the seeds is usually successful, so I will try that rather than
ordering more trees.

The Angelonia that I bought from Lowe’s clearance rack is
beautiful, has doubled in size, is tolerant of the heat, and surprised me this
morning with a stem of white blossoms. I definitely plan to add more to the
garden next year.

I want to add a few more wildflowers to the garden but haven’t
yet decided which ones. Already picked out a spot for more tulips. Ready to
make some changes on the west side of the house.

Sadly, I think this year has probably ended my efforts to
grow vegetables. I just don’t have the time or patience or knack or whatever.
The tomatoes have done well, but the okra and squash plants have not produced
enough to justify watering them. Perhaps when I’m retired…

No matter what
happens each year, I always learn something about plants, about critters, about
nature, and about myself by spending time in my garden.