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Sunday, March 27, 2016

House Full of Bark Whining

I'm starting this thread early, because I don't know what condition I'll be in, tomorrow morning. I'd better get this week started while I'm still coherent.

The current condition of the Q household:
Mr. Q: was completely incapacitated on Friday (he almost fainted twice!), but has rallied completely, as he tends to do.
Li'l E: succumbed to The Bark last night, and hardly slept all night. Screamed a lot today. (She also wanted nothing to do with me, and would cry when I entered the room, which was a fun new feature.)
Me: Still on the edge. I've been running on adrenaline (and washing so much laundry), and I'm keeping myself close to the BRAT diet, because this very well could be me by morning. Very weak and exhausted.

80 comments:

We had a good day. My gig had twice the crowd of the week before, with 1/4 of the crowd being little kids. That's a good ratio in this sector of the church. Then we went to spend Easter afternoon with the family we usually spend Christmas and Easter with. It was fun but bittersweet, knowing this was our last one. The teenage daughter there is a pole vaulter, and her dad has bought/built a pole vault bar and runway and pad (I have no idea what the correct terms are for these things) in the yard. So yesterday, her dad and some of the other men in the family decided to try it out. Dumb. And hilarious.

Boo for cleaning, packing; but it is good to start earlier rather than later.

We had such a lovely Easter with the kids! All the food turned out delish. The worst of the tidiness problems disappeared before the festivities. Using pretty bowls instead of baskets went over well. Somehow, old yearbooks came out and everyone enjoyed the photos and stories.

My project for today is scrubbing hard water deposits out of the bathtubs. It is especially fun when it mixes with soap scum. If you do not have hard water where you live, you are lucky. The only things I've found effective are heavy duty acid (not my favorite) and pumice stones. Both must be combined with lots of elbow grease. The Baboos' tub isn't too bad. I don't even want to think about the master bathroom.

Esperanza, we had hard water at a former location, and sucketh it indeed does. I'm pretty much with Liz in hoping there is budget for a professional. And if not -- you might try doing the tub in sectors, or planning more than one go at the entire ring.

There is some good news that is not public and not mine to share, but I really really want to! Even better than the cats both deciding last night that they definitely both needed to sleep with me again. ;)

Well done, esperanza! You got that tub/shower done pretty quickly, compared to my usual fight with tub rings. (Thank goodness we got the water softener working now.)

Last night was better than the previous one. We woke up a bunch of times (but E actually stayed asleep for much more of it than we did), but the total number of hours of sleep was good. My sickness is settling into the General Cold variety, and E has held down everything since yesterday afternoon. And she's cheerful!

Pixies, I am in a pickle because my very beloved niece got engaged, and it is not public yet! This is such glorious and exciting news! The terrific couple are so so happy; and so are the few in the know!! Someone dropped to one knee to propose, champagne at the ready. I mean, who knew that person was so romantic??

There is no date; no plans yet; size of the event is unknown. All will be revealed in due course. One hopes.

You guys, I have the Household Blargh. No bark so far, but oh goodness, I now understand why my child spent two days angry-whining. Nausea with a side helping of Every Muscle in My Body Hurts.

AW: child and her father are doing well again, and I'm so glad that this was a week-long holiday for Mr. Q. I have no idea what I would have done today, if he'd gone back to work. (He refuses to take sick days when I'm sick, but instead uses family days and pressing personal days, but he has far fewer of those, and we've used a couple already.)

This is odd: so, I noticed that I just was only having general achiness and feelings of nausea, and Mr. Q figured I needed to get more food in my system (but all of the usual BRAT diet foods were making me feel worse). But I kept craving dill pickle popcorn. (Note: I'm not pregnant. But definitely PMSing on top of all of this.) I remembered my list of helpful tips for battling pregnancy nausea, and chips/pretzels/anything similar that's crunchy and salty were on the list. And it worked! I ate a small bowl of popcorn (the most I'd eaten in one sitting all day), and then was able to eat a whole banana, and some dried fruit, and I feel a lot better now. It even cut down on the achy muscles! What.

You guys, that's ridiculous. Like, our federal election exhausted me, and it was only a few months long. I have no idea how you guys are dealing with this.

W: somehow yesterday's nausea meant a migraine today, because my body is not my friend. I think the muscle tension and the extra pillow I used last night (because the nausea was tied to a bunch of acid reflux) did it. Chiropractor appointment tomorrow, since my neck is all garbled now.

AW: again, I'm glad that Mr. Q has this week off.

W: we were supposed to have a nice vacation this week, but instead, our bodies have betrayed us.

My friend and I had a great breakfast! And I cannot overstate the wonderfulness of meeting up with an old friend who already has all the backstories. And whose backstories I know, too. Plus, she's still with the bookclub I quit, so we got to dish about that, too. ;)

So I came home, and there were 3 messages on my machine that turned out to be from my husband's half-sister (of whom I was unaware), a woman he has never met. I mean... There is a high level of weird there, and he's not interested in touching it, and I don't blame him. Apparently, there is no time limit on family weirdness chiming in.

AW: Junior cat just needed to snuggle me last night, and kiss my arm. Can't argue with that kind of love!

Esperanza: so close! Hopefully you find something that is both right in house and location, very quickly.

You guys, E was grouchy again today (and then went to bed early), and it's getting really hard to take the fact that she takes everything out on me. I try to remember that she's still a bit sick, but when your child wants nothing to do with you (while playing up her affection for her father), and yells that you're mean and a bad person, it's hard not to internalize. I confess that I started crying at one point of the morning. Mr. W is working hard on her behaviour, and we had stretches of the day where we were cuddling, but it was hard.

QWP, here is the inside secret about co-parenting. Some days, you are the queen of the entire universe; other days, you are the bug on the windshield. With 2 parents, you get to trade roles according to the mood of the day. It does even out; you will never be permanently on the bug end of things. My husband and I laughed about this, for real! And our kids grew up. xoxo

E has had exactly one day when Mr. Q was the bug (and that was a week and a half ago!). The last day when she really liked me was last Friday, when Mr. Q was sick. From the day she was sick onward, she's been acting like I'm a monster. (She sometimes actually runs and hides from me! Or screams at me to go away, and then has a massive temper tantrum when I won't leave the room.) It's tiring.

((((QWP)))) I am going to second the idea of taking a physical break from each other. She is valuing the rare commodity over the eternally there. You are safe for her to take all her anger out on, because she is absolutely secure in the knowledge that you love her and will love her forever. Which is a terrific thing, but you need a break from being her safe zone.

So...go on a weekend visit to your friends where you used to live. On your own. Take a break. When you come back, you will feel refreshed and she might want to have cuddles again.

W: My friend who recently learned she has very advanced cancer -- things have gone downhill fast. She's on hospice, at least; not suffering, and also not really there any more. We're afraid her time is really short now. Very glad her daughter and our local friend are there to bring comfort. xoxoxo

I just drove off some Jehovah's Witnesses who wanted to invite me to a prayer meeting, by telling them my friend is dying. My daughter thought that was kind of harsh, but it does have the advantage of being truthful.

To clarify -- I'm OK with other people's religions. Not so OK with uninvited calls or visits about something that isn't of interest to me, particularly in times of stress. I did take the info, as I always do, and wish them well.

Kathy, I very much understand. Those uninvited visitors stress me out on a good day. (So, my cousin accidentally made it so that JWs stopped ringing her doorbell: they woke her up, and when she opened the door, she didn't realise that her, ahem, shirt no longer contained her. Scared off house poor people.)

I've ended up staying home today, because it turns out that E was again so grouchy because her tummy took a turn for the worse again. Apparently Mr. Q thought she was all better yesterday, and fed her sausage.

AW: she's been kinder to me today. We've been trying a few new strategies, and they're mostly working.

I once answered the door to JW *while* nursing Mini, and they were not scared at all. In fact, they were very kind and asked me how the baby was the next time they came. I haven't seen them in quite a while, though.

AW: We had a fantastic time, all four of us together (which is unusual enough to AW about), at the ranch of some church friends this evening: brushing the horses, riding the horse, feeding the cows, fishing, campfire with hotdogs and s'mores, the whole country deal.

W: So now Baboos are exhausted and up way past bedtime. "It was worth it," Mr. E and I keep telling each other.

W: Also, now wistful for the limited number of such evenings ahead of us, at least here.

That sounds like such a lovely evening, esperanza. I hope that the baboos had a good sleep after that fresh air.

W: the child's stomach still not ideal. (She didn't have any gastro symptoms for most of the week, and then had a recurrence of the pooks for the past day.) We had an early wakeup today, having to change her jammies and give her a shower.

QWP, as always your mileage may vary. Our pediatrician has scolded me on more than one occasion for re-introducing dairy too soon after a pook/bark episode. He says the quick passage of stomach acid through the intestines actually burns off the very ends of (something?), which is where the lactase is located. So if you introduce dairy before those thingies have had a chance to re-grow, the pooks will be back. I don't know if that's E's trouble or not. In any case, I'm so sorry she's still not feeling 100% and that you and Mr. Q are still on cleanup duty.

Hugs and love to everyone - It's been a tough week at WW. So much love to all of you.

I'm having a rough weekend, which is really odd because a) I don't have to preach this week, and b) I had a lovely evening out with friends last night.

Mostly, I'm troubled by money and my church. It took three months for the bookkeeper to adjust my annual pay raise, approved in December. I've asked twice to be paid for a funeral that happened two weeks ago (Oops! She forgot!) and I formally requested, in writing, complete with all relevant information - in FEBRUARY - that she send my registration fee for a conference I"m attending in two weeks.

Yesterday I got an email from the conference organizers saying they are waiting for my cheque.

Fireplace. You know when you get so frustrated and angry and you don't know whether you're going to scream or cry? Yesterday I did both.

For goodness sake, I'm not asking for much. A 2% raise, long ago approved by our Board, a funeral fee, and continuing ed money. ALL of which is legit. Am I being over-sensitive about this, or is it just fireplacing insulting to make me beg for my pay?

I have informed that no, it will not wait "Until she's in the office again" - she needs to get to the church over the weekend and find out what's up with the conference cheque. If she hasn't made it, had it signed, and sent it - I'll just have to take it with me.

Bonus - she paid the organist for the funeral after my first reminder, but forgot to make up my cheque.

Sue, that really stinks. I assume the bookkeeper is paid for her work?

My mind is very suspicious. Not keeping up with checks due the pastor makes me wonder if other things are sliding, too? Three separate sets of lapses seems like a lot. The fact the organist was paid isn't exactly assurance that everything else is being paid in a timely manner.

This seems like an individual who is either rogue or sloppy. Nobody denied you the raise, denied you the funeral pay, or denied the conference fee -- so it doesn't look like a lack of appreciation on the part of the congregation or the larger church. Maybe everything else is hunky-dory, but this suggests it might be prudent to check the books.

AW: I'm so happy I got to visit the botanical garden today. It brightens my spirits

W: something there is giving me a severe reaction. We left immediately and now my sweetie, who is a medical professional, is treating me with ben@dryl but she doesn't like my pulse ox. So watchful waiting.

This is the worst. I've been observing something very similar at my place involving a staff member who cannot do their job functions. It's been ugly. May you not have same ugliness as you deal with your situation.

Miranda! Yuckerino. Benydryl is well-known for wooliheadedness; and not liking the ox levels. See your doc about finding out what caused this! It is peak pollen season, lots of places; some allergy meds might help; but this sounds like a problem you need to figure out to avoid in the future. xoxo

AW: My work is done. Daughter learned to fit everything that has been sitting around neatly and completely into the dishwasher, with no nagging -- a skill set mama has tried to teach for years. My friend's dad, Mr. Flaherty, was the master of this craft; and she just passed the test.

W: the Rebound Sickness hit me today, too. And another migraine. Five in a month, which is more migraines than I've had in my entire life before this month.

AW: E has decided that I'm her person again, and wanted to spend a bunch of the day cuddling. And I was the only person who could read the bedtime story properly. Either the stuff we've been working on is working, or this is a sign that she's finally getting better. (Esperanza, your explanation from the pediatrician finally helped Mr. Q clue in to how not to keep making our kid sicker. He has an iron stomach, and his whole family gets violently ill for one day, and then gets completely better immediately. He has troubling fathoming what normal people are like.)

QWP, I hope withholding dairy works. It's hard to do here in "I love cheese and yogurt (which is actually ok to give) and milk. And can I please have some more cheese?" land. My mom had always restricted our dairy after tummy troubles, but I always felt it was unjust, of course. The doctor's explanation finally made it make sense to me.

My poor friend Donna died tonight. Peacefully at the end, both her daughters at her side. I'm so sad; and at the same time, very relieved that she could go gently and reasonably swiftly, given how bad it all was.

Thanks, everybody. I guess this all went startlingly fast for my friend, diagnosis to end in just weeks. It was too hard for her to reach the phone, so I called while a friend was visiting and we talked a little that way, on speakerphone. For maybe 5 minutes at a time -- which said a lot about how bad she felt, because Donna never made a phone call of less than an hour! She really wasn't able to talk at all the last week or 2; did nothing but sleep the last few days.

I'm grateful, too, for the little group of friends which included her; the others of us talked all the time, tried to give her and her daughters support.

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