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hanging out with an ex - spinoff to my other question.

I was supprise by many people thinking it's wrong to hang out with an ex. We are from smaller towns where breaking up doesn't mean you never see your ex again. Many ex's are in the same group of friends. I was asking a question about how bad it was to be jealous of my husband hanging out with his ex.

The reason why I think it's bad to be jealous is that I know nothing would happen between the two of them, he's always in a group of friends and comes home at a decent hour. Also when I do get to go out, I go out with her too. I have a few ex boyfriends that I'm friends with and I know my husband would not have a problem if I hung out with them. They live far away though so I don't see them often.

So is it really our insecurities or are we suppose to forbid our husband from hanging out with someone you are both friends with. (This does not apply to husband hanging out with a hot co-worker on the side, that's different!)

I get the small-town thing. I also get that there is not much of a threat - the divorce happened for a reason, after a long and arduous process of trying to make things work, and chance of reconcilliation is ZERO - so exes are just people with who you share custody and have to tolerate in a social setting in many instances. Sometimes, you actually get along now that you are not married. This is highly personal, and no one should judge you for what is working for you.

its not about jealousy or insecurities, its about opening doors. What are the odds of your husband cheating on you with someone that is never around without you there? Ok now what are the odds of him cheating on you with someone that he hangs out with on a regular basis without you there? Slightly higher right? Now suppose you and your husband go through a rough patch in your marriage so he wants to talk to someone-suppose he talks to her since she is still he good friend and afterall she knows him since she dated him, pretty soon he finds it easier to talk to her than it is to talk to you, he has fun when he is with her and these days it seems like all you want to do is fight-that is called an open door. MAYBE he would never cheat on you ever, but if that door is never open then you KNOW it isn't going to happen.
cont.

some people are just fine and content with their SO hanging out with their ex, but it is for this reason that my husband and I don't do it. We love eachother and trust eachother 100%, but right now we are in a good place in our marriage and if ever we get to a bad point we want to make sure that there aren't any open doors.

My opinion in this is that as long as there is no "confiding" or being emotionally connected to one another then it would be considered appropriate. If you arent there, but others ARE, and the two of them are not like I said, confiding in each other, then its ok. But if they are texting each other, talking on the phone, or internet chatting, then I would be extremely cautious.