What I Want My Boys To Learn From the Josh Duggar Scandal

{My boys don’t know anything about this story yet and I hope they will be oblivious for several years. These are just things that I will want them to know when they do see someone like Josh or the Duggar family fall from the pedestal.}

I’m sure that by now you have probably all heard about the latest bombshell in the Josh Duggar scandal. A recently hacked website that encourages married people to have an affair because life is short was found to have Josh Duggar on their paying clients list.

Here are some things we must remember. Things that I want my boys to know when they see a popular celebrity or other social icon fall from their pedestal and fall from grace with the world.

1. Be sure your sin WILL find you out. {Numbers 32:23b}

Whatever we do in the darkness will eventually be revealed. Whether it is viewing pornography, lying to your boss, stealing from the office or having idols that we place above God. In the end ALL our depravity will be revealed.

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. ~Luke 12:2

Therefore do not pronounce judgement before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then will each one receive his commendation from God. ~ 1 Corinthians 4:5

2. As Christians we are called to be more than whitewashed walls. {Matthew 23:27-28}

Our lives need to be changed from the inside. We cannot just put on a good front because that isn’t what God is looking at. God is concerned with the heart, where our true loyalty and devotion lies. {Proverbs 16:2, Proverbs 21:2, I Samuel 16:6-7} When we confess and repent God sees us as clean and white. But true repentance also means that we turn completely away from the sin that is entangling us and run the opposite direction.

3. It IS NOT a sin to be tempted.

Temptation in and of itself is NOT a sin. Jesus himself was tempted but he was still considered a perfect man. When he was tempted Jesus rebuked the tempter/temptation with Scripture that was hidden in his heart.

Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness

4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted[a] by the devil.2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’[b]”

5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,and they will lift you up in their hands,so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’[c]”

7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’[d]”

8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’[e]”

11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him” ~ Matthew 4:1-11

I want you, boys, to be like Joseph. He ran from sin and it looked like he lost it all. But in the end he was rewarded with something far greater than those few brief moments of pleasure would have brought him. I want you to know how to look for the way out. How to have the self control to turn off the computer or phone. The strength to admit to others your struggles.

4. Don’t be too proud to admit that you need help.

If you are struggling with a sin please don’t be too afraid to admit your problem to an older, wiser man. One that you know will speak truth into your life. Ask for recommendations for a good counselor who speaks the Word of God with authority and will guide you in the way you should go. Either of your grandpas or your great-grandpa would be a great place to start.

Have some accountability partners separate from the counselor or mentor who you can trust to pray for you, encourage you and build you up in the Lord and who will be there whatever time of day or night that you need them.

5. Stay in constant communication with your Heavenly Father.

Study the Bible as much as possible. Listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading. Keep a soft heart. Don’t allow the world or easy listening preaching allow you to harden your heart. Confess your sins. Ask God to give you a clean heart. Know that His mercies are new every morning. Allow the Spirit to convict you. Remember that God’s word is living and active and will help you to discern truth from lies.

6.Don’t place people on a pedestal.

People are people. No one is perfect. The only perfect one is the One who offers you free salvation. People will fall and make mistakes. People will disappoint you. People will betray you and what you thought were their deepest held beliefs. We ALL sin. We ALL need a Savior.

Thanks for coming over Daisy! I don’t know all that’s out there about it either and honestly I don’t really care to know. I do know that no one, including Josh D. can ever fall far enough that they are out of God’s grace. No matter how much the world would like to claim the situation shows hypocrisy I think it shows just how much we need Jesus in every area of our lives.

You’ve made some great points. We really can’t put anyone on a pedestal because everyone makes mistakes. I wish people weren’t so obsessed with celebrity culture either because then this would probably not even be a problem. I’m hoping I don’t have to tell my boys about things like this until they are much, much older.

Yes! I have to remind myself everyonce in a while that celebrities are people too. No matter how much we would like to look at Princess Kate and think she has got life made, it must be so easy, etc. I’m sure her life is super stressful and that she wishes somedays she wasn’t such a popular person.

Even in our struggles we can be honest. I think if the whole situation would have come out a different way then it may have been a little better on his family but even so we need to offer the man grace and forgiveness.

It is a hard thing to think through. I was so dissapointed. However I don’t know ALL the details nor do I know his heart but I do know if he has repented then God offers him mercy, grace and forgiveness and so should we.

Beautiful post, Rebekah. These are truths ALL of us should keep in mind, particularly #1. Following the Josh Duggar scandal has been particularly difficult for me not because I’m a huge fan of (I appreciate their desires to share Christian values with the world, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan), but because I’m now also keenly aware of my own heart issues that could be exposed — issues that must be fixed before they spiral out of control. It was a necessary wake up call. I’m thankful for this post with it’s many good reminders!

Aww thanks! Writing this was my way of processing the situation. 2 things I realize I didn’t mention now are that we cannot fall out of God’s reach no matter what we do and since God has offered forgiveness and grace then we need to extend the same to Josh and his family.

Couldn’t agree more! I actually thought that was implied in your article (unlike other posts about Josh Duggar), but thanking you for explicitly stating that we should extend forgiveness and mercy him and his family!

I just stumbled across the headlines before I read your great post. I think your first point is especially important because adultery is a sin committed in secrecy, in darkness, and it might seem like no one is watching, but the most important eyes are watching in that moment. This is a great message for your boys as they get older!

I like the points you have made. There are so many lessons to be gained from this. It’s painful watching him skewered in the media/blogs and the like. It’s not that it is without cause. But I certainly hope that people will see ALL of our substantial need for grace through all of this.

Yes! I’ve realized now that there are two other points I forgot to mention. One, we cannot fall out of the reach of God’s grace no matter what we have done and two, since God offers forgiveness and grace we need to offer the same.

I never put anyone on a pedestal. In high school, my youth pastor left his wife and kids for a teenager in our youth group. It was so shocking and sad. I often ask God to give me a clean heart. When I’m not in the word, I feel like my thoughts are not as pure. Great post!

Wow! I’m sure that was hard for you, but God definitely taught you some things out of the experience.
Staying in the scripture is a priority. Even if I only get 10 minutes to read a day I try to figure out something applicable to me and then meditate on I that during the day.

I’m in tears reading this post because what you’ve done is put into words my disgust with the situation and illustrated Christanity so beautifully. I’m sharing this. You did an incredible job of this!!!

Thank you Alana! I am getting so tired of Christians tearing each other apart. We ALL sin. Our world has tried to tell us that some sins are worse than others when in reality they aren’t.
Thank you for sharing!!

These are all such good tips! It’s true. We tend to want to put people on a pedestal because they share our beliefs but often forget that they need the same forgiveness that we long for daily. I hate to see people get dragged through the mud no matter who they are. Thankful you have found a positive way to use this for your boys in the future.
May we all guard our hearts and stay in close communication with God!

Hi, Rebekah,
You did an excellent job with this post! It really comes down to understanding the dynamic of sin and temptation in our lives, which is about so much more than the Josh Duggar Issue. I especially appreciate your comments about the whitewashed walls because that gets at the root of the issue. Eventually what’s on the inside is going to show on the outside, no matter how hard we try to hide it. Thanks for sharing this with us at Grace and Truth last week! 🙂
Jen @ Being Confident of This

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Hi I'm Rebekah!
Married to my best friend since 2009. Momma to three handsome little men and hoping to be surviving toddlerhood for many more years. :-)
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