It was around 9:30pm Tuesday night at work, I had to climb behind the bar, and by climb behind I mean crawl under, hands and knees type of thing. They were having trouble with the computer, and I'm usually the one who can fix these things. I never got to fix the computer. What I did get to do was crush parts of a broken mug with my knee into the tile and cut up my hand. The mug had been broken during the very begining of the shift, and never cleaned up.

But I was focused. I stood up behind the bar and was about to go to the computer, but my hand and knee hurt a little. I figured my knee was fine, just went down on it hard. And my hand? Oh wow, my palm is covered in blood. I'm going to go wash it and put a bandaid on then I'll fix the computer. My knee kinda hurts. Meh, I'll be fine.

I carefully crawl back out got a bandaid and went to go wash my hand. My leg feels wet, like something is dripping down it. Why is there a huge, dark, wet spot on my knee? And a hole where my knee hit the ground? Oh its probably blood. Fuck. Fuck this hurts.

At this point I my whole right leg from the knee down is covered in blood and bloodsoaked jeans. I pass a few people and my manager, Trish, asks me whats wrong, I tell her I crushed glass with my knee and my leg is soaked in blood and she runs to grab me some towels. I get to the bathroom, pull off my pants and finally get to see whats what. After wiping and washing away the blood, which is still pouring, I find I have a hole the size of a dime right under my kneecap. I wash it again to wipe away the blood that has come out in the 5 seconds I was staring at it and slam a bandage on it.

Then, I go back to work. I get my mother to bring me a new pair of pants and socks, because blood doesnt stop just cuz you're wearing Hanes. I spend the next 2 hours still walking around. And then I spend another hour and a half closing the restaurant.

Finally at 1 am I leave. And upon advice of most of the service staff, head for the hospital. I arrive and wait in the ER waiting room for about 4 hours. Finally I'm brought back and then I get to sit around for another 45 minutes. When the doctor, a very nice guy, comes around he tells me the fifth paragraph of this post was a really really bad idea and I should have come straight to the hospital.

My knee gets xrayed to make sure theres no glass in it. I get a tetanus shot. My hand gets thoroughly cleaned up. He cleans off my leg, even though the dried blood looked really cool. And he sews up my knee. All in all, it wasn't that bad of an experience and I'll be fine in a week, but walking and stuff sucks right now.

Vlad is insisting i post this in comment form, instead of just telling him on IM...

Oh, man...that's so cool...er...I mean...NOT cool (but still really cool in a hardcore, 'I'm Chuck Palahniuk in Fight Club' kinda way). Did it, hurt a lot, or did you not mention that part because it's way cooler that way? The coolest part is that you finished work.

Vladimir Fefer: going from 'lovable sensitive reclusive guy' to 'confident aloof chick magnet' one night at Outback at a time.