Living my life (a guest post by Angie Love)

First and foremost I would like to thank Byrgen for the invitation to write this. I don’t know exactly what to say or where to begin, so I’ll just write.

I am a thirty-two year old woman who just so happens to be of trans experience, and I love it. I love who I have become as a person. I love the fact that through every hardship life has thrown at me I have become far stronger than I ever imagined possible.

Being trans takes strength of gargantuan proportions. It’s just in there somewhere.

Why didn’t I describe myself as a transwoman? Because to me that’s just odd. Ciswomen* do not go around introducing themselves as such nor should they. Because it’s unnecessary. Therefore I find no good reason at all to make it a point of constantly introducing myself as trans.

As I often say, the only people who need to know are my man, my mama, and my doctor. And they do. Everyone else can have a seat because it is truly none of their business.

We don’t introduce our genitals. We introduce our person.

When people look at me, pass me on the street, smile and say hello, strike up a conversation, the last thing that they are thinking or saying to themselves is that I am anything other than what they see. A woman. That is exactly how it should be.

In the grand scheme of things, and to break it down to trans-speak, I could be considered as living stealth. Or semi-stealth as I like to call it. Not because I am trying to hide who I am or my life, but because I do just that. Live.

Vanity aside, I do consider myself to have something that many transwomen would want. Especially one who has only medically transitioned within the past few years. What is that?

The ability to ‘blend in’.

I much prefer that to the ability to ‘pass’. I’m not trying to ‘pass’. I am trying to live my life. That’s all. Right now I’m doing a pretty darn good job with that if I do say so myself.

Blending well gives me the freedom to do so unharassed. I am blessed and thankful for that.

It is already well known, for the most part, that trans people have a tougher time at life in general. Some more so than others.

There were a few rough patches, bumps, bruises, scrapes, and scars for myself as well. Some were of my own doing. Others were not.

Not one of us is immune to life. But I am still here. That alone is proof positive of an innate strength that cannot truly be described nor can it ever be discounted or ever taken away from me.

In a day and age when there are powers that be and many others ignorant to our lives who would have Girls Like Us** done away with in the worst ways imaginable, to be a woman of trans experience, one living her life without apology, is an act of radicalism in and of itself.

I don’t feel the need to announce that I am trans, to ‘come out’, simply because I AM out.

I live my life quite visibly. Every. Single. Day. Not hiding behind anything.

If anyone should ever learn my ‘T’ then they can certainly feel free to respectfully ask questions and learn more about what it truly means to be a trans person.

Certainly I make it my business to dispel any myths and call people out on their misconceptions, ignorance, and bigotry when I see or hear it and even these things can be accomplished without ever broaching the fact that I am of trans experience.

As is often said, trans people are everywhere, and we all have to live here together.

If people learn that someone being trans will affect them in no way, shape, or form then they can continue to go on about their lives and continue to extend us the same common courtesy.

No doubt that I will continue to go on about my business. Especially since I am someone who has never once asked the permission of anyone to live my life.

I am certainly not about to start now.

Angie Love

*Ciswomen are women who were physically assigned female at birth.

**Girls Like Us (#GirlsLikeUs) is a phrase penned by trans activist Janet Mock which has come to unite many transwomen the world over.