Thursday, November 22, 2007

Are your cats bothering you?

Empirical research has just determined that the pipes and drums of the Chicago PD's Emerald Society playing "Scotland The Brave" and "Danny Boy" at 110dB will chase any felines in the house under the nearest piece of furniture.

If you'll excuse me now, I have to go kill some Sassenach, whatever those are. I'm not sure why.

It means "lowlander," "Saxon" or "Englishman." More or less. Them as can't abide in the high places nor drink the usquebaugh, who understand not the rocks or the wind.

Y'r a-makin' me tear up now. I may forget the family grant of arms holds but a single naturally-colored rose on an argent background...

The poor moggies are innocent victims of a kittenhood spent amongst the wrong sort of folk, who don't play the pipes. Happens to human folk as well. 'Tis why the Crown classed the instrument as a weapon of war.

I had 'Scotland The Brave' as a cellphone ringtone for a while, but I got so very tired of numerous amadáns asking me why my phone kept playing the theme from those old Irish Spring soap commercials...

When I played for the Fighting Scots, we used to come out to Scotland the Brave (Monmouth didn't have full-ride scholarships for sports, but they did have them for pipers and drummers.) You couldn't march out to that and not be in a frenzy, Scottish or no.

Anon, you'd best get yourself a name and nationality, and ram home a charge. You have just been challenged by a duellist of the first water. It's not, you know, too late to apologize. And live.

Now a few of us may sail under false colors: The Scots-Irish are not half of each, but rather Scots lowlanders who camped for a generation after The Enclosure in Ireland before finding the Ozarks. Their Indian-fighting skills were whetted by fighting the Irish, who had at that time approximately the same level of civil discourse. I take this as a compliment to the Scots, the Irish, and the Choctaws. Cherokees may be miffed.

You have to wonder, when some wag called the Sikhs "the Scots of India," which of those two he didn't think would kick his arse for it?

Rabbit lad, it's cattle and horses. Never admit to stealing an Englishwoman.

Sadly (or not so sadly) - Scotland the Brave has been replaced in the concert in my head by "Scotland Depraved" by the Tartan Terrors - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uWEpKWxMmILyrics found at http://www.blackfryars.com/songLyrics.asp?FILE=Scotland%20Depraved%20(Tartan%20Terrors).txt

comatus - I took nothing: since my prior post, I've been in the Ozarks - holidays and such.

aNormanous - At least my Skye-cum-hillbilly heritage is celebrated with fine beer and festivals featuring proper manly exhibitions and the like, whereas your culture is remembered most fondly when we ponder the coiffure of Princess Leia.