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Hi I'm Gretchen

Special Ops Mom of four, utilizing virtue, faith, integrity, and other unconventional skills to complete objectives.

About Me

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I used to think life was only a pit of anxiety and depression even though I didn't know it was that bad at the time. I thought that was just the way it was. I didn’t know how much sorrow I was dealing with until I finally knew the joy. Only then did I look back and say, “Man I was so depressed and stressed out back then!”
My child-bearing years were particularly difficult. I was continuously swinging back and forth between depression and anxiety experiencing only patches of real peace and excitement. I prayed, read scriptures, received priesthood blessings, took anti-depressants, and went to therapists. Nothing had any lasting effect and some things made it worse—numbed me to feeling any joy at all or stressed me out to the max.
After years of dealing with it all and despairing that my fate was to forever be a broken person, I started listening a little more carefully to the Spirit which kept calling my attention to dietary solutions.
Eating better, giving up my treats, slowing down my kick-butt exercise habits. But as yet I didn’t have enough faith that something that small could make such great changes in my life. Besides, I was highly dependent upon my treats for peace and excitement. And my exercise methods helped me keep up with the Joneses. Read more on my blog (select blog from top right social media buttons), where there are no advertisements or money making motives whatsoever.

Why I am a Mormon

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I was born and raised in the church but like most, I had a time of conversion in my life. That happened when I was 14 years old. I had stopped going to church. A couple of my young women's leaders came to my house one Sunday. They said they loved me and challenged me to come back to church for 6 weeks. I was uncomfortable with their love and tender words, but I took their challenge. When I went back I heard messages like, "You are a daughter of God and of infinite worth. You have been saved for these last days. You matter." These messages stirred my heart. They were what I needed to know. As I continued going, listening, and reading my scriptures, feelings of self-worth emerged. My whole sense of self changed within a few years. Before, I didn't seem to care. I was getting into all kinds of trouble. After, I had purpose, a desire to live a virtuous life.

How I live my faith

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I've lived it through nurturing my children--being there for them, working to balance myself so that I can respond in balance even in their most difficult times. This has enabled them to learn how to balance their own responses over time. We all have a tendency to veer off to the Northwest or to the Northeast in our personal compasses. It has been my goal to identify the pathway that leads to maintaining a Northern balance where Joy is. Choosing Christ as my guide, my North Star, and orienting my compass towards his has given me the sense of where that balance is.
Since I once lived a life of swinging back and forth like a pendulum and was often times wholly miserable, the journey towards balanced living has been a remarkable one for me. There's something that happens to a person who is rescued from such a sorrowful place. Gratitude just comes. It is not forced. It flows effortlessly but powerfully from my heart and it can't be contained. And if I tried to contain it, I would be a very ungrateful servant. So I've been writing down my field notes as best I can and now share those on my blog and other social media sites in hopes that I can reach out to anyone and everyone who is stuck in that hellish place I used to be in. I also like to watch for others who have the balance of Christ in them. It is an utter delight to hear their music, read their words, view their art, or see them act as he would act.

Deep down she knew God was there, but a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol prevented Elaine from feeling His presence. Turns out, when she chose to repent, she discovered that the desire to become better takes practice too.