Spoof news stories from April 2008

There were 1,168 spoof news stories published in April 2008. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.

Moscow - (Rotters): Russia's leading tabloid has reported that in a landmark poll of 2,000 red-blooded Russian males aged 18-69 this weekend over 95% were too pissed to answer any questions coherently.

Hannah Montana's squeaky clean image is intact according to her father and country music legend Billy Ray. "Those photo's are not my little girl" and "They have been photo shopped by some sicko" he is reported as telling c...

Burbank, California - As part of his contract with Oprah (Harpo Productions), Dr. Phil has arranged to be the first and only psychiatrist to date to be afforded the opportunity to psychoanalyze the world's first pregnant man, Thomas Beatie. Condu...

Plus Size model, Jen Hunter, 25, has spoken out in an effort to deter impressionable young women from dieting to themselves to death.
Jen, who at 7 stone 2 pounds (98 pounds) is classed as Plus Size in the modelling industry says that there is fa...

Last Saturday well known Harry Potter actress Emma Watson turned 18 and she threw a massive celeb party for herself. However both Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe didn't even bother to turn up. Something that was widely speculated about afterwar...

Bend, Oregon - The controversy in Thomas Beatie, a transgender male claiming to be the first pregnant man has the scientific community coming under political pressure it has not experienced since the Catholic Church put Galileo Galilee under house ar...

Ever since she openly endorsed Obama, Oprah has seen her popularity fizzle. First it was her angry fans - middle-aged white women - who happen to be Hillary Clinton's biggest supporters - who lashed out at her.

The 36-year-old David Tennant is considered by many viewers to be the best dressed incarnation yet of Time Lord Doctor Who. Far from milking his celebrity, though, he hardly ever speaks to the press. In this rare interview, his former boyfri...

LOS ANGELES, CA - Everyone knows Miley Cyrus. Your little sister, brother, maybe even your mother knows Miley, or at least her famous dad, Billy Ray. But what you may not know is Miley's dirty little secret that is floating around the net.

Scandal hit Channel 4 last night as camp presenter and self-professed "Makeover Queen" Gok Wan was sensationally revealed to be as straight as a die.
Wan, the presumed-to-be-gay host of hit show How to Look Good Naked, admitted at a press conferen...

Buckingham Palace - (Sordid Ass Mess): It's over. A top Palace source has confirmed today that Charles and Camilla are to divorce after a standard prenup based on promoting the Prince's heterosexuality ran aground and finally hit the rocks d...

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced today that the words "piss" and "tits" will no longer be banned from the airwaves and radio and television stations may use them freely and without hindrance.

LOS ANGELES, CA - Looks like there's a new Holly Golightly in town, and her name is Lindsay Lohan. Miss Lohan was chosen out of thousands of actresses looking to star in the remake of the famous black and white film, Breakfast at Tiffany's, s...

Recently, pictures purporting to be of a scantilly clad Miley Cyrus have sprung up on various sites on the internet. The shots feature a young girl in various stages of dress and show her in different styles, colors, and types of undergarments.
M...

Many a climber and walker over the years have struggled up Scafell Pike in the Lake District to "bag" England's highest Peak at 978m. Well the unfortunate news is that nearby Scafell has now been measured and confirmed as the ho...

Vanity Fair is spinning over the Miley Cyrus topless photo controversy, but the avant garde magazine is not stopping there. Next month the magazine will feature a racy photo spread of 12-year-old actress Abigail Breslin.

Peter Jackson won many Oscars for his Lord of the Rings trilogy, but has decided not to direct the prequel. Instead, Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth) will helm this new film set in an earlier time in Middle Earth.

MOOSE JAW, SK-In a turn of events deemed inevitable by many outside observers, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, also known as the Pastafarians, has split over numerous items of contention concerning its doctrine of a beer volcano in heaven...

Miley Cyrus, the 15 year old star of the Hannah Montana children's series, is upset about a photo shoot of her due to appear in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair magazine. Several pictures form that session have been leaked to the press and include s...

Hannah Montana teen superstar Miley Cyrus has made a drastic decision regarding her career. Cyrus, 15, said in a press statement earlier this week that she is "tired" of her kiddy pop persona, Hannah Montana.

North Pole - A small but militant band of transgender Elves have taken over Santa's Workshop up at the North Pole. They are working overtime in to help indoctrinate your children with their skewed value system instead of yours. They have come up...

In what is being called in diplomatic circles as an unprecedented and dangerous move, French President Nicolas Sarkozy's wife, model Carla Bruni, has stripped for a pay-per-view special and given the proceeds to Somalian kidnappers in order to se...

Snake River, Idaho - The Internet is once again a blaze with controversial pictures, only this time its not just with the standard photos of a naked woman (although that has not been ruled out). It is on fire with photos of Vice President Dick Cheney...

Salisbury Plain - (Paleolithic Mess): Archaeologists excavating Stonehenge have stumbled on what has been described as a stunning human life-sized amethyst crystal skull believed to date from circa 5,000 BC.

Popular actress Emma Watson, who plays Harry Potter's sidekick, Hermione Granger, in the film franchise is sick to death of fans asking if she and Daniel Radcliffe are dating/having sex/getting married/starting a family. So much so that today she...

Las Vegas, Nevada - Contrary to its official policy to red flag any viral video that depicts unnecessary violence, YouTube proudly announced today that the Nevada Boxing Commission finally approved its application for an online fight club.

Orlando- Five days after successful knee surgery, golfing champion Tiger Woods underwent reverse-Lasik surgery at an Orlando clinic and is said to be in pretty-good condition. "While his knee recovers, Tiger thought this would be a perfect time...

Eighties punk singer Feargal Sharkey has lashed out at the lack of big healthy virile cocks that are available for sex at any time of the day or night in an interview with Hot Press magazine to be published later this month.

Everyone knows it, and if you don't you are either illiterate or have been walking around with a paper bag on your head for the last month. Yes not content with just scaring theatre goers in London's west end for life, Daniel Radcliffe has ta...

Adolf Hitler, the well-known German Chancellor and wartime tyrant, has been found alive and well with several of his closest aides, in a secret bunker under a house in the Austrian town of Amstetten, say police.

A few days ago, HSM star Ashley Tisdale announced to fans that she was expecting a little girl with Zac Efron. The star told fans that she was looking forward to a relaxing pregnancy with Zac by her side. However now it looks like her pregnancy will...

Daniel Radcliffe(also known as Scarhead, Harry Potter, Radders, Radzo and DanRad.) was seen earlier today in his local Marks and Spencer lingerie section. When the star bent down to take a closer look at the granny knickers, he revealed a bit more th...

Hillary Clinton suffered a stunning defeat Thursday when a recount of the Pennsylvania primary vote showed she lost by a substantial margin. While the initial count had Clinton ahead by 10 points over Barack Obama, the recount put the former first la...

The 2008 Flora London Marathon starts on Sunday in the heart of the capital, and, all being well, will finish the same day, thanks to the event's organisers who have banned slower runners from competing.

[HEATHROW: APS] Madeline McCann, the elusive toddler who has been missing since her parents misplaced her in Portugal almost a year ago, has been found by mechanics on a luggage belt at Heathrow's new Terminal 5.

After Derren Brown; stage illusionist and celebrity hypnotist, sensationally apologised to his female fan (Molly Bridges of Blackburn) for being gay, former darling of Saturday night TV and doyen of Hampstead Heath, Michael Barrymore has accused the...

Actress Emma Watson who plays geeky Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films, has announced today that she is to marry a homeless tramp called Bob Smith. Friends and fans are concerned by Emma's sudden engagement and erg her to stop and think.

Vatican City - Today in Vatican City before the voting body of the College of Cardinals summoned by Pope Benedict XVI for a special counsel on the matter of the pregnancy of Thomas Beatie (a transgender male) being declared a miracle, the Pope sudden...

NEW YORK (FMLiveWire) -- Marvel Studios' latest superhero blast Iron Man brought a bunch of superstar actors and other notables to its New York premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival on Monday night as a sequel was revealed to be in the works.

Harry Potter plank of wood, Daniel Radcliffe (or Pinnochio to his boyfriends) has told interviewers that he has a fondness for blood and often will suck on the pricked fingers of gardener friends whi...

Electronics giant Sony announced today that it will soon be selling a combination Blu-Ray and Betamax player. Now that Blu-Ray has won the high definition DVD format war, Sony is hoping to restore some credibility to Betamax while giving something ba...

Actress, model, singer, commercial spokesperson, and personality Jessica Simpson wants to add another job to her resume': daredevil. Simpson announced today that she plans on recreating some of Evel Knievel's most famous jumps and stunts.

In February of 1982, musician Ozzy Osbourne was arrested in San Antonio, Texas. He was wearing a dress in the downtown area and seen urinating on a statue in front of the Alamo. The monument was a shrine to the men, women, and children who died at...

Principle photography for High School Musical 3 being in Salt Lake City for the third movie in the popular Disney Channel series. This film will find the stars as eighteen year olds in their senior year.

Last month, Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama was under intense political pressure due to anti-white and anti-American slurs made by the clergyman of his Illinois church. In order to avoid the backlash from that negative publicity, the...