1. "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ~Thomas Edison
2. "Hitch your wagon to a star." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. "If you knew how much work went into it, you wouldn't call it genius." ~Michelangelo
4. "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." ~Mother Teresa
5. "If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." ~Thomas Edison
6. "All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them." ~Walt Disney
7. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
8. "Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts." ~Winston Churchill
9. "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." ~Henry David Thoreau
10. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
11. "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." ~Goethe
12. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
13. "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." ~Eddie Rickenbacker
14. "Quit now, you'll never make it. If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there." ~David Zucker
15. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Hey! I'm Vikas Rawat from Andheri W, Mumbai. Keep queued in if you like my posts :)
DISCLAIMER: The views i express here are strictly my own and personal opinions. I do not represent any group and do not intent to cause harm to anyone in anyway.

The film is titled ‘Gori Tere Pyaar Mein’. Very apt.
Actually, the film could’ve also been called ‘Gori Tere Pyaar Mein Gora’ or
‘Another Imran Khan-Kareena Kapoor rom-com-pom-pom-tom’. Because that’s what
this film is about. 2 white people who fall in love. Because in Hindi movies,
the maximum black we can go in love stories is maybe Ajay Devgn… Or Sunil
Shetty. Even Abhishek Bachchan, despite having the dubious distinction of being
Aishwarya Rai’s husband, can only end up playing second fiddle to the much
fairer Aamir Khan.

GTPM (name too Bollywood, let’s abbreviate) is maybe one of
those rare Karan Johar films that have no gay characters. But then again, they
DID have Imran Khan starring in the film. Close enough. But seriously, a Karan
Johar production without a gay character is like India without Bangladeshi
immigrants, or Africa without Angelina Jolie. Incomplete.

Coming back to the film, following are the 10 reasons why
GTPM should be sent as India’s official Oscar entry along with BIGGGGG BOOOSSS
(latest spelling).

1. Shraddha Kapoor

Inspite of being in the entire first half of the film, the
movie starts off by giving Shraddha Kapoor a credit of ‘Special
Thanks/Appearance’ or some shit like that. It’s almost like the Producers were
looking to save some extra bucks and enrolled Shraddha telling her it’s a
‘Special Thanks wala appearance’. And then made her act (sit) through the film.
Basically producers’ ne usko chutiya banaya. Aur hume. Through out the film,
Shraddha looks like she’s constipated and will throw up on Imran if he does not
pick up the guitar and sing ‘Tum Hi Ho’.. one last time.. NOT!

2.Community references

It’s almost a crime now for a film if they don’t insult at
least ONE community. And now that tamilians (CE) and gujaratis (RL) are in
fashion for being insulted, GTPM aims to hit the jackpot by ensuring equal
insult to both communities, before and after the interval.. to ensure no
community feels left out. So while Imran is a convenient white tamilian who
exhibits a racist streak towards his own family, the film’s second half is set
in a Gujarati village where Imran Khan tries splitting gujarati words like they
are Andhra Pradesh.

3.No
innovation

The characters, situations and dialogues are so run-off-the-mill
that the only new and fresh thing you see is in the opening credits – Kareena
Kapoor Khan. Even the dialogues and songs are generously taken from other
films.

4.Songs

The film opens with a nice peppy song that almost sets you
in a good mood. As the film starts, you are almost immediately punished for
having had too much fun and expectation. Some of the best songs in the film are
‘Jo Bhi Main’ from Rockstar, Rabbi’s ‘Bulla ki Jaana’ and ‘O Mitwa’ from
Lagaan.And even these occur too fleetingly,
mostly in Imran’s voice.

5.Look and
feel of the film

In essence and taste, GTPM feels like the vomit of ‘Ek main
aur Ekk tu‘, mixed with ‘Break ke Baad’ and ‘I hate Luv storys . And I haven’t
even seen any of the three films. But you can just tell. The gloss.. The
shine.. The Imran.. bletch bletch..

6.Crab

For some very strange reason,
there is a crab in the film. No, really. And we see nice juicy close-ups of it
in the entire first half. The sad part of the plot is that the only time Imran
actually realizes that he really loves Kareena Kapoor is when the crab (called
Sandy) dies.An unintentionally funny
scene in the film is when Shrradha explains to Imran on their wedding mantap
how that crab was the ‘kadi’ between him and Kareena. Because screw Facebook
and twitter, who needs all that when you have a crab! The crab serves as Imran’s
confidante pre-interval, being locked up in a glass box without air or water.
Strangely, we never see what happens to that dead crab. Shayad ‘kadi’ ki
‘kadhi’ ban gayi.

7.Audi car

The “break point” in the film is
when Imran decides to sell Kareena’s orphanage land to buy his dream “Audi”
car. Kareena’s reaction on seeing the car is like how Sachin would react on
being presented with Vinod Kambli’s head. Because Kareena expresses absolute
interest in buying the car an exact ZERO number of times. It is ABSOLUTELY
clear that Imran loved that car more than he did Kareena. And seeing that
there’s not ONE bikini scene in the film, I’d say Go For it Imran!

8.Marriage

Somewhere in the beginning of the film, when Shraddha is
busy worrying about how she’d protect her girlfriends at a sleepover from her
father, Imran takes us to/through/out of a wedding. And I have to take his word
for it. For never once in the 10-minute sequence do you see a groom or bride.
Just fat uncles and aunties shaking their booties and redefining marriage as an
ass-shaking fest called “Toon Toon”.

9.Village

Now the film’s second half is set in a gujarati village
called ‘an average gujarati village name’. While you leisurely pace towards the
haunting climax of the film, you can’t help but think what’s the occupation of
the village. No one seems to ever be working. We never see them farming or
fishing (they’re close to a river) or anything. Hell, all they want is a damn
bridge so they can laze around on that too. When they’re not too busy following
Imran around or cribbing, they get into your usual song and dance routine. Because
screw hunger and poverty, Kareena is in gaon yo!

10.Imran Khan

All reasons aside, this film couldn’t have been the colossal
disappointment it is if not for the earnestly ridiculous acting by the crab.
And Imran Khan. It’s almost like he’s stuck transparent tape on his face to
freeze his expressions and have the same look ever since “Jaane tu.. ya jaane
na”. I’m reminded of one particular scene towards the end, when Imran is trying
really hard to cry at the railway station. Pushing for tears, he desperately
tries to shove a kid’s drawing sheet into his face, hoping some crayon would
get into his eyes and get some red-eyed tears. He was SO bad in the film that
showing his adverts in the interval might actually have proved
counter-productive. “What?! He’s endorsing Lays?! I’m shifting to Uncle Chips”.

Kareena Kapoor is actually decent in the film. Except for
the parts when the director clearly told her, “Woh ‘Jab We Met’ main jo
expression diya tha na.. wo wala expression dena. Thoda ‘Golmaal 3’ wala mix
karke”. There are also other horrifying moments in the film, like in the
interval, when the screen freezes so awkwardly on Imran’s exposed armpit and
thigh-insides, that you lose all appetite for popcorn.

All in all, ‘Gori Tere Pyaar Mein’ is a thoroughly enjoyable
film. I’m sure children from all age groups will connect with the film and learn
how to treat our South Indian friends, not for the people they are, but the
color of their skin. And have a crab pet-cum-food, sitting in an Audi.

9 comments so far.

Sona Sharma
November 26, 2013 at 7:34 PM

yup,lots to say."AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." ..... Rawat,ur reviews r so much better,time worthy, n enjoyable than the 5 crore Bollywood trash they make.brilliant use of words n interestingly conveyed the horrendous experience u went thru bt conveyed in a comical way wch makes reading ur review so much fun.so yup,loved reading ur review.crab w/o food water or air,lol.....

Easton Bell Electrical are your Melbourne based electricians, and it is our priority thatwe provide you with a friendly and courteous service while being professional and well presented. We pride ourselves on being on time and discussing with you what work suits you best. And best of all, We Clean Up!Hampton Electrician

Anonymous
January 15, 2015 at 5:08 AM

whoever reviewed this movie is a one good stupid blind , didn't care about the village and how the bridge was made today's media is so sucking us to neck you should be ashamed and if your not go to school in which they teach how to feel ashamed