New Music + Music News For Apr. 12

Hi there, and happy Wednesday. I was wondering what kind of day it’s going to be, so I turned on the TV to see wall-to-wall coverage of White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer downplaying the Holocaust. So apparently a storm of shit lava will be raining down from the skies at some point, so wear your galoshes.

Meantime, here are 22 music stories to make the world seem a little less fucked.

Jared Kushner’s last.fm profile is a hypocritical shitfest. Or something. But listening to the Hamilton soundtrack after throwing dozens of tomahawk missiles into Syria seems counterintuitive. Also, it might be fake.

Ass model Iggy Azalea suggests shaking your fat asshole around and spreading shit particles all over the room will help you lose weight.

Somehow, saying “I’m really sorry, you guys” after stealing $7 million from acts including Alanis Morissette doesn’t really make a difference in the least.

Listen to a new Nas song called Angel Dust, and at two minutes in length it’s some tasty old classic sound.

A new kind of pistol shrimp species has been named after Pink Floyd, and not a felonious rapper as previously predicted.

Statues of famous musiciansaround the world. Beethoven’s looks like he’s about to come alive and eat you.

Paul Oakenfold performed on Mount Everest, but it’s hard to tell how close he was to the dozens of dead bodies strewn along the hiking path.

Put your own context on this retarded Phil Anselmo quote, using Lemmy quotes to peripherally justify his fan fallout as an “ebb and flow” of being a public figure. I’m sure the sig heil and “White power!” callout onstage had nothing to do with that.

Johnny Firecloud's been kickin' names and takin' ass since his first interview in 2001 with A Perfect Circle, 6 years before starting AQ with Kevin Cogill. He also spent ten years as music editor/senior writer at CraveOnline.