Josephine was so nervous they were in Brighton in the holiday house and more her father and mother were there. But there was more Josephine and her mother were at a friend’s house or whatever Elizabeth Williams called those people. As usually Josephine just spent a short time with the adults, she had played for them piano and even sung a little and showed a few of her drawings she had made at the country club. Josephine was ten and just glad her mother took her along during the day, very often when they were in Brighton all together. Josephine remembered many days her mother could not have her around anymore and sent her here to Brighton with Anne though but Josephine often disappeared in another world when she was in Brighton. So many time Josephine had pretending that the house in Brighton was not just any house but a special house a magical house.But that was not the point, right now Josephine was at a large seaside mansion of people she did not know. Her mother had sent her away because she was disappointed that Josephine was too nervous to draw a simple flower arrangement. So now Josephine was sitting in one of the other salons, no not a real salon it was a small room the servants were allowed to use when they had their breaks. It was a very simple room with a very plain couch, a table and a few chairs and a small oven to keep the room warm.

“Miss do you really not need anything?” The maid asked looked very scared, she knew of course who this shy little girl was and she knew the rage Lady Elizabeth Williams would be in if her daughter was not treated like a princess. The maid was surprised that Elizabeth had ordered to keep the young Lady Williams in the servants lounge. But here she was a little girl upset that her mother did not want her around.

“No thank you I am in no need of anything else.” Josephine whispered shy.

The maid did a courtesy and left the room, but very soon after she came back with a basket. “Maybe you would like to spend some time with those.” She disappeared very quickly out of the door again to go back to her work. Josephine pulled the cover off the basket and found six kittens with her mother. They were still very young and Josephine was delighted to see them. The young girl played for hours with the kittens until her mother’s lady in waiting came to pick her up.

“Oh dear young Lady we better brush off all cat hair, you mother would be very upset to see this.” With hard strokes the maid brushed off the cat hair of Josephine dress. Josephine was smiling widely all the way back to their Brighton home and even later when they were sitting in the living room and her mother ordered her to practice her drawings, she expected her the next time she asks her to draw that Josephine would draw. So Josephine was drawing the kittens she had played with.

“Mother may I ask you a question?” Josephine asked very politely.

“If you must.” Her mother answered very annoyed that her daughter was breaking the quietness.

“Mother where does babies come from?” Josephine looked at her drawing. Seeing those kittens made her wonder where they came from.

“Put your drawings away!” Elizabeth snapped. Josephine nodded and quickly put all her drawing things into the basket she kept them in, while Elizabeth got drawings of herself anatomical drawings of human genitals but to be precise they were not the correct proportions. The men’s were much bigger than they normally would be.

“I wanted to protect you from this pain but you do have to ask. You do wanted to know, you should have never asked.” Elizabeth placed the drawings on the table in front of Josephine and had the wanted effect it scared her to see men without their clothes.

“This is a man’s genital and to put a baby into a woman’s womb the Lord found a horrible punishment for Eve’s wrongdoing in the paradise. This is the woman’s flower and you see how small everything is in it so to put a baby into a woman the man pushed his genital into the woman’s flower. And the Lord gave them a lust that will break every woman’s love, but there is no better feeling as pushing into a woman’s flower. The poor do things to their flowers to widen them because they need many children to keep at least some alive, they do horrible things and sometimes even let men they are not married to enter them. This is a horrible sin, they will suffer for that forever in hell. No woman ever felt good when a man entered them. Except the ones that did it in sin. It is a first sign of hell. They think it is a good thing but they will slowly die on the inside. And that is not the only punishment the Lord put on us Josephine, a man will never enter hell for forcing himself into a woman even when they are not married. There is no greater pain then when a man enters your flower Josephine, you might think that you love a man and it will be different with him but you are wrong. The fires of hell will wait for you as soon you let a man touch you. Do you understand me? The Lord made men with so much lust that it will be satisfying to feel your flower bleed and your heart break.” Elizabeth looked satisfied at her daughter that looked terrified at the pictures. “To bring honour to this family you will never give in a men’s desire and let him push you into hell. And you should when you are married make sure that you give birth to a male heir so that you might be spared by the Lord and your husband will spare you from more torture and he will not enter you again because it is a men’s pleasure to take the innocence of a girl so he might move on and take them from other girls.” Elizabeth knew she had done right, her daughter was mistaught rightly and she would not sleep with a man before her wedding night and due to all her fears and terrors she felt now she would not enjoy it. It was what Elizabeth wanted.

“And do not forget the size of a newborn child and the size of your flower. The child leaves your womb the way it entered you and it will rip you apart. There will never be a greater pain you will ever feel. You will receive a child in pain and you will give birth to it in pain, that is the punishment women are giving for Eve’s failure. She is the first woman that felt the pain caused by man. Do you understand me?”

Josephine nodded, she was crying terrified to ever be with a man she swore herself never to fall for a man’s desire. She would not want to have children at all. That night Josephine had horrible nightmares of men entering her flower and of hell. Those nightmares would never stop even when she moved the knowledge into the back of her mind she never forgot. Until the moment it was too late and she fell for the desire of a man, an Irish country boy she loved so dearly but why did she do it. Why did she let him destroy her flower? She had sworn never to let anyone do this…

… Many years after her mother had told her what men did to women in their bedrooms she met Liam O’Doherty and she fell in love and got blinded by this love. She let him enter her flower. And to her surprise -no that is what her mother had said- she liked it. At first it hurt her but then after the first pain it felt so nice, she wished it would never end, but then she knew what she did she doomed her soul to burn in hell forever. But how could something that felt so right be so wrong? The moment Liam had entered her she felt this overwhelming love and that she was at the place where she belonged for eternity… Luckily Liam saw the trouble in her soul and made her hell sound like a place she… they wanted to be, they belonged. Maybe, just maybe Liam felt the same that he and Josephine belong together forever. Maybe her mother was wrong and the Lord gave women a gift, a hidden gift but a gift never the less. The gift of only one man to be the man that did not hurt them their soulmate, that was able to enter a woman’s flower but not in pain but in joy. Josephine clinked to this believe all her life and always would, because every time she and Liam were together it felt likes the angles themselves were singing in glory. No matter was her mother had told her and Liam was right even when they go to hell they would go together, forever.