Who hasn’t opened a beautifully wrapped holiday gift from a loved one, only to feign delight, pretend to be grateful or throw it across the room and cry? We asked readers for their own holiday-gift horror stories. Have a chuckle:

Ho, ho, ho

When I was 13, I received an unexpected gift from my kooky old penny-pinching neighbor. I was so happy she had even thought of me for the holidays. But my surprise turned to, well, surprise when I opened the package to find three pairs of holiday-themed thong underwear. I had never even seen underwear like that before. And I almost gagged when the neighbor said she found them on sale at the thrift store down the street, telling me, “Used things are the best ways to keep costs down, honey!” I was mortified. The underwear was thrown away that day, and I’ve been scared of thrift stores ever since. — Cassandra Bankson, fashion blogger

Happy Christmas

My birthday is Christmas, so I often get “dual purpose” gifts. One year, when I was 13, my grandmother gave each of my sisters, 9 and 3 at the time, $50, and me? Two individually wrapped generic white tube socks. One was my Christmas present. The other, my birthday present. — Wolf Noble, engineer

My true love sent to me…

I’d been dating a guy for most of the year, and come Christmas he bought me:

1) A pair of socks (I don’t wear socks.)

2) A teapot (I don’t drink tea.)

3) An electronic drum machine (I don’t even … )

I tried to muster up as much gratitude as I could, but I think he could tell that I was questioning how much he really knew me. — Anonymous

Regift of the Magi

Last Christmas, I went to a friend’s apartment during the holidays with a lavishly decorated gift bag full of books and journals. My friend said, “Oh, how sweet!” and proceeded to randomly collect items from around her apartment, emptying a basket full of oranges and filling it with a long piece of cloth. She put the collection in a gift bag and handed it to me. “For you. Christmas is the time for giving,” she said. I use the cloth on my end stand, and the basket to hold my unpaid bills, but man, what a cheapskate! — Carina Lamendola, writer

Just follow the star

A few days before Christmas, I drove my in-laws around to see Christmas lights on a beautiful night. We had hot chocolate, let the kids run around in the neighborhoods and went home with magical thoughts of what the holidays would bring. Christmas morning I unwrapped a Garmin GPS, with a note reading, “Hope you don’t get lost again next time you have to drive us around!” I have no memory of being lost. — Anonymous to protect him from his in-laws

Tater, tater, tater, I made you out of clay

Several years ago my ex-husband gave me an electric fry pan and a 20-pound bag of potatoes for Christmas. He blurted out, “How neat is that? Now you can fry more potatoes at a time!” with a big, goofy grin on his face, even though he was dead serious. — Katy Kassian, owner of Buffalo Gals Bakery in Regan, North Dakota

Down through the chimney

When I was about 12 years old, I was told that my last Christmas gift would be the best one. It was from my pappy, who really built it up, writing a poem to hint at what it was and where it was hidden. I was so excited! After scouring the house, I finally found it in the garage, where I unwrapped … a Super Duper Pooper Scooper. He thought it was the funniest gift ever. I almost cried. Then I went outside and scooped poop. On Christmas Day. — Kristen Remeza, editor

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-Leia

I was 6 years old and Empire Strikes Back released earlier that year. All I wanted were Stars Wars toys. For Christmas, my grandmother gave my brother a Luke Skywalker doll, we were to share the Darth Vader doll, and I got the Princess Leia doll. I was so mad that I firmly reminded her that I was not a girl! — Kevin Haggard, software tester

Oh, the Who-manity

I am still bitter about a present that I saved to unwrap last because I thought it was a Barbie Dream Convertible. Instead, I unwrapped an educational invisible woman human body model kit. — Amy Gray, artist

Raga around the Christmas tree

When I was 9 years old, I asked my father and stepmother—who were huge on the idea of Christmas, if not its execution—for a bunch of albums. Somewhere in the midst of their travels through India, they decided to make Christmas more efficient and buy all of their gifts on the streets of New Delhi instead of the malls of America. I remember opening the CD and noticing that the album art was a little fuzzy. When I pressed play, all I heard was the pulsating beat of Indian dance music. I may have been too young to understand the concept of counterfeit CDs, but I knew one thing: This was not the soundtrack to Disney’s Tarzan. — Michael McAfee, blogger

Free shipping?

I had just opened a retail gift store when my husband gave me a folding hand truck for Christmas. He thought it would stop me from calling him to move my big, heavy delivery boxes when they arrived. I went from receiving Tiffany jewelry and diamonds for our first five years to a hand truck? He’s lucky we’re still married! — Francene Dudziec, founder of Monogram Muse, a personalized gift site

Lazy Santa

When I was 3, I went to open a good-size box, expecting a dump truck or some Duplos. I ripped open my present to find an box empty with money taped to the lid. Santa decided to give us cash that year. I threw the box across the room and cried. — Ken Katschke, product manager

Gifted and regifted

One year I got the exact same clothes that I had just gotten for my birthday. Turns out my mom had just taken them out of my closet and regifted them because they still had the tags on and I hadn’t worn them yet. She thought I had forgotten about them. —Ryan Ambler, merchandising coordinator

Too big for their britches

When I was 11, my aunt gave me and my brother wallets that were too large to fit in our pockets. We spent what seemed an eternity pretending to be happy about it and trying to jam the wallet into our back pocket in front of my aunt with no chance of ever getting it in there. We just kept holding the wallets in our hands and smiling until we left. I felt bad because she kept telling us to put them in our back pockets so we wouldn’t lose them. I laugh about that disappointing present to this day. — Charles Murphy, vice president of American Investment Services in Barrington, Massachusetts

Festival of lights

The first year I was married, my mother gave me a special Hanukkah gift: an expensive scale. She said that now that I was married I should watch my figure. I grew up being lectured by my mom on the importance of women maintaining their appearances. She would say, “When you go into a field of flowers, don’t you want to pick the prettiest one?” I just said thanks because there is no arguing with my mom. — Carmela Kolman, artist

Overweight in the manger

I was 19 and had maybe gained a little “Freshman 10” in my first year of college. I got control-top panties, ankle weights and hand weights from my Barbie doll–figured stepmom. — Anonymous

Silent night

I went to my ex-girlfriend’s family’s house. For my gift, her 95-year-old grandmother read my tarot cards and shook her head saying, “Muerte … muerte. [The death … the death].” —Aaron Marquis, writer

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