This blog is my struggle to move toward Christian maturity, and the potholes I hit on the road of life. My blog went from being about religion to being about diet. It is time to bring it back to Christ, since only in Him is life and happiness found.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Slept in. Happy with my weight this morning. Exercise was walking from my apartment all the way to Alameda Towne Center. I fell behind in my steps this month due to hurting my foot on the last day of last month. I played catch up today to make my monthly goal. Tomorrow I hope to hit the gym.

I found a nice little coffee shop on Park Street that has Italian sodas and several sugar free flavors. I got a sugar free English Toffee soda. It was yummy.

Xena is being her usual annoying self. After refusing to sleep with me last night, she woke me up by curling up next to me this morning. I think it's because at night I'm awake and petting and kissing her when she wants to sleep. In the early a.m. I'm asleep and she can curl up next to be without being smothered with love, lol. She has such a hard life.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Went to the gym today and did one hour of weights and about 41 minutes on the elliptical with arms. The first machine didn't work so I had to move to another and lost exact track of the minutes. Then I walked to work from the train station (1.5 miles and 30 minutes).

Tomorrow I don't have any errands to run before work so I hope to sleep in. I will, of course, do some walking. For one thing, I'm behind in my steps and only have today and tomorrow to make it up so I can hit my monthly goal. I need to do only 12,000 steps each day! I will make it!!!

Wednesday maybe I can hit the gym again. I do feel a little more alive on the Armour. I think the T3 is really helping! :)

I don't think my weight is too bad given all the binging I have done recently. I am concerned that it was artificially low because 1) it is very hot right now and I know I was dehydrated this morning, and 2) I ate lower carb yesterday then before my last weigh-in so I wasn't retaining as much water weight as before.

Yes, I did okay yesterday sticking to plan. I did eat some Cheese-It's at church, but I think it was fewer than usual, and I only had a few bites of the trail mix and only one M&M out of it. I had more raisins from the trail mix than I should have, but mostly I just picked out the almonds and a few peanuts. I pigged out of the jar of peanuts on the snack table - more than two mini cups. I cut back on the granola bars. I had one of the peanut bars and one Oats & Honey. The Oats & Honey are my favorite, but I stopped at one. :)

I was hungry when lunchtime came. I had a little of Becky's enchilada casserole and a small serving of her carby salad, plus a small piece (very small) of the garlic flatbread. Other than that I pretty much just pigged out on Jane's salad with her homemade dressing. It had kiwi and sugar snap peas in it, but oh well. It was the healthiest thing on the table.

After church Anita dropped Brad and I off by the bridge (near the 7-Eleven I like to stop at). We walked to Alameda Towne Center to return my Old Navy tank tops for the right sizes.

We stopped at Starbucks on the way, and I got a grande iced skinny vanilla latte. I normally get the tall size, but they put so much ice in the iced ones that I get the next size up. Anyway, I got a skinny latte instead of the chocolate banana Vivanno I wanted.

I did break down and go to Tuttimelon for frozen yogurt, but the small size of the plain only has 30g carbs total, so it's not too bad. I wanted M&Ms or something sugary on it, but I got it with chopped almond topping instead.

After exchanging the tank tops we got on the bus and came home. We walked in to find a hairball and some throwup on the floor. The cats rarely hack up hairball so it may have just been because of the heat. The joys a being a cat mommy - I had to clean it up.

I made piña coladas because it was so hot and even had a beer - an MGD 64. Later I used the large wine glass (the one that holds one bottle of wine). I drank most of the wine. Brad and I snacked on pork rinds and watched the 1951 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still.

Today Brad and I walked down to the bus stop where the 50 bus turns toward Alameda. We caught the bus from there into work so I only got 34 minutes of steps in.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Did laundry and walked to the laundromat and back. Then I walked down toward BART and to the 7-Eleven by the bridge.

Tomorrow is groceries bought on credit card since I am past broke. I paid too much on my credit card and then had a couple of medical bills for about $50 each hit me at the same time. Brad offered to buy me a few things.

The doctor’s office sent me the blood test order I called them about. For some odd reason it looks like only Free T4 was ordered – like that would help seeing as I just started med with T3! I wrote in Free T3 and TSH as well as "copy to patient" so that I see the results as soon as possible after the tests. And for some unknown reason they sent it to my P.O. box. :-p

I’m back on the healthy eating bandwagon. No more petite vanilla scones or Vivannos at Starbucks, no more sugary yogurt to snack on when I wake up in the middle of the night on Friday. I will snack on healthy foods such as cottage cheese, veggies, or Greek yogurt. Brad said he would get me some Greek yogurt – some for me and some to share and make my healthy chocolate pudding with. :)

I’m going to try to each healthy on Saturday at church and stay out of the Cheese-It’s and trail mix at church. I’ll still allow myself one or two granola bars because I do love them, but otherwise just stick with peanuts and pick some almonds out of the trail mix. :) No bad food at lunch. If I eat any lunch it has to be low-carb.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Yes, I finally weighed in. It's a scary number, but it's a starting point. Time to unaddict myself to carbs and go back to merely cheating on Saturday and not binging like I have been. I can't lose weight that way; I gain!

Went to the gym today. I did one hour of weight training and then 40 minutes of cardio - 30 minutes on the elliptical with arms, and then, because the balls of my feet were hurting on that machine, 10 more minutes on the crossramp elliptical.

I had an interesting blog response a couple days ago. The person asserted that carbs are essential to good brain function. Um...no they are not. The brain runs quite well on ketones - it's one organ that thrives on them. Ketones are used in place of glucose when glucose is insufficient. Just do a Google search on "brain ketones."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My new iPod charger came yesterday and I tried it out when I got home. It's a cheap, small little thing with an electrical plug on one side and a USB port on the other. Sure as heck cheaper than buying something similar from Apple! Apple no longer gives you a separate charger when you buy an iPod; they only ship a cord with a USB post and you upload and charge the iPod with the same cord, meaning you can only charge it with your computer around. Anyway, this little baby should do the trick!

Walked down to the BART station, went into the City to check my mail, then walked from my stop to work when I came back. I stopped at Pac N Save for salad on the way in. Tomorrow I hope to hit the gym again, though my butt is still sore from Monday's workout!

Scary thing that happened: I came home last night and my front door was open! I am sure that I locked it when I left yesterday. Nothing was missing and there were no other signs of anyone being in the house. Only Brad and I have keys and he says he didn't go over. The spare I hide on my desk was still there. Thank God (literally) that nothing was missing and that I am okay!

I called Colleen who works for the owner of the property and asked if someone who used to live there could still have a key and she told me Mr. Armstrong always changes the locks when a new tenant moves in. She even double checked with him and says yes, the locks were changed before I moved in.

So I am at a loss as the only explanation is that I failed to both fully close and lock the door when I left yesterday. When I came home Abby was out and Xena (having heard me coming up the street) was sitting in the doorway waiting for me. This is not the first time this has happened. Am I really that forgetful of something so important?

Monday, June 22, 2009

I have got to get control of my eating. I am totally out of control. I think I need to do a more Atkins-type diet and stay away from the carbs even on Saturday. Eat just the peanuts on the snack table for example and stay away from the Cheese-It's and trail mix and fruit and nuts mix and cut back to just one granola bar. When I wake up in the middle of the night on Friday night, have a low-carb snack that I can reach for.

I suck and am gaining weight again. It's time to get back to basics and break this carb addition again!

So...

No more candies,No more cakes,No more sweets,No more mistakes.

I went to the gym today and did one hour of weight training and 40 minutes on the crossramp elliptical. I walked into work from BART and stopped at the grocery store on the way for some salad. Tomorrow I plan to go into the City to check my mail.

We have new lockers at my gym. They closed the locker room all weekend and tore out the old metal lockers and in plastic lockers made to look like wood. Very solid and stylish. I like them. :)

There's an older guy at the gym named John who I sometimes chat with (old enough to be my father kind of old!). I told him I started Armour a week ago. He said I looked better, more energetic. I doubt that's really true, but I need to write it down anyway. Hopefully the T3 really is helping me.

An anonymous person posted a comment on yesterday blog entry and asked why I binged. It's actually a very good question and worth putting some serious thought into. A great part of it is how much I restrict during the week. By the time Friday rolls around I'm starved. But if I eat more during the week I can't lose weight. :(

The real problem is a true physical addiction to carbs and that addiction has to be faced and broken. So I have decided that if I get into a hungry binge mode I will eat fat and/or protein, but not carbs.

I somehow made it through my 12 hour shift on Thursday from 3 pm to 3 am. I went home, took a shower, and got to bed around 5 am. I only slept about 6 hours and very poorly. I knew I would need to get to bed early on Friday because I knew how wiped out Brad would be.

I went grocery shopping but fell asleep Thursday night (Friday morning) thinking about Chips Ahoy cookies. I bought a large package of them and a package of the chocolate chewies at the grocery store. I also bought three petite vanilla scones from the Starbucks store in Safeway and ate them on the way home. By the next morning there was very little left of the Chips Ahoy cookies and chocolate chewies to take to church. Brad ate a few of each, but I ate most of them. :( I also went to Subway and got a chicken breast footlong sandwich and potato chips and had that for dinner Friday night. At least that was halfway sane. But I also bought one cookie there and ate that, and I got the sandwich with extra cheese.

I went to 7-Eleven and bought cereal (two single-serve packages) and low fat milk for Saturday's breakfast, a banana, and a single-serve package of Nutter Butter cookies.

Food-wise the binging continued on Saturday. I had the cereal and milk for breakfast. I ended up drinking the rest of the quart of milk later that day. As usual I ate too many snacks at church and had some of the bad foods at the potluck.

After coming home Brad and I walked to Alameda Towne Center. We stopped at Tuttimellon where I had the fat-free chocolate frozen yogurt with graham cracker crumbs and he had fruit-flavored gelato with blueberries and nut toppings. Then we did some shopping at the mall, I got a nonfat chocolate banana Vivanno, and Brad bought me some wine at a nice restaurant.

Then we went to Applebee's and we were hungry by then so we got their 2 for $20 deal. We got the cheese sticks appetizer and I got the Quesedilla burger with a side of broccoli instead of fries. But then we got dessert, and I had a Mudslide (ARGH!) along with a lot of other drinks. :( Somewhere in all this Brad upset me so I ended up at Safeway buying a huge slice of german chocolate cake, which I ate.

We tumbled into bed (me in my bed and Brad on his cot) and slept in. We were woken by a call from P at work asking me to come in early, so I got Brad up and made coffee and we headed into work. We ended up even earlier than P wanted but he said he's go ahead and leave then, so I will get a couple hours overtime today. I feel like a fat cow and am hungover. :(

I have been on edge a lot lately and I think it's the Armour medication.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I approached this book with some trepidation. Having been involved in the New Age movement in my younger years I know there is much that has been written about it that is simply wrong.

This book happily surprised me. Dr. Martin treats the New Age movement is a fair and even manner and tells the truth.

He begins with a quick overview of the New Age movement, then gives one entire chapter to the words of New Age teaches and proponents themselves, without any interpretation. Who better to state what they believe than New Agers themselves? The chapter following this gives the Biblical answers to these teachings and shows how they change and distort what Jesus has said.

He continues on with Jim Jones and Sirhan Sirhan were influenced by the New Age movement. We know the disasters consequences of these people well, but how they got there is a story most people don't hear.

After this Mr. Martin writes about how the New Age is making inroads in the public school system and society in general, and had an entire chapter devoted to reincarnation, what New Agers believe about it, and what the Bible says about it - all the passages dealing with it, not just selective ones that New Agers quote.

There is a chapter on how to approach New Agers to witness to them without turning them off. He than had a chapter on identifying New Age groups and leaders including a veritable glossary of people, organizations, books, and magazines.

He concludes with a glossary of many of the words New Agers use, and what they mean. For example, what is the "Age of Aquarius" or the "Akashic Record"? What are crystals used for and who is "Gaia"?

At the very end of the book is a recommended reading list of other books to read for more information on any aspect of the New Age you would like to know about.

Well written and surprisingly balanced given the strong Christian viewpoint of the author.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Decided to sleep in. Exercise was walking to the train (1.5 miles) and then from my stop to work (1.5 miles). Feel kind of tired today and muddy-headed. Not sure if it's from real tiredness or too much sleep.

I don't think I'll weigh-in this week (yet again). I need more time to get this weight off.

Oh...I thought I forgot to pack my cottage cheese yesterday. It turns out it was in my backpack the whole time. I didn't find it when I unpacked my food at work or when I unpacked it at home. I found it when I got to work today. :-p I'll taste it and see if it's still good.

Went to the gym today. Did one hour of weight training and 30 minutes on the crossramp elliptical. Walked to work from my BART stop. Dropped my stuff, then went to Subway to sip a Diet Coke and read a book. There was a party here with chocolate cake so I wanted to make sure I wasn't here for it and told Brad I would be about 30 minutes late. Thankfully they cleaned up before I arrived (how sweet!) so I was not exposed to the evil cake.

Speaking of food, I forgot to pack my cottage cheese today! :(

Felt about the same strength-wise at the gym, but I seemed to be able to work a little harder on the cardio. I know the T3 in the Armour is powerful and messing with me. It will take me some time to adjust.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Slept in. I was so wiped out, even though I had a hard time winding down for bed. I know it's the T3 in the Armour effecting me.

Exercise was walking down to the BART station, and then from my stop to work. It took longer than usual because I wanted a diet Sunkist and hit almost every convenience store along my walking route looking for one. I never did find it. The stores only had regular Sunkist and diet Crush. Diet Crush isn't really diet - they add 38 calories of high fructose corn syrup to it, which is why I won't buy it. I want a real diet soda, not one posing as one with added sugar.

Brad went to Costco for my Armour prescription. Because they had given me 3 pills to get me through the weekend, they only gave me 97 in this bottle. I begged Brad to go to WalMart to get me a 12 pack of diet Sunkist. He did, but it will mean he has no time to go to my apartment to get his stuff. He left his chicken, cottage cheese, and oatmeal behind and I want it gone because it is a temptation.

Speaking of temptation, I am hoping to come late for work tomorrow. We are celebrating Lynn’s birthday and someone is bring chocolate cake. It’s my favorite and hope that by coming late I will miss it.

I reached 12 million steps yesterday since I started tracking back in August of 2006. Yay me! :)

The weekend was busy! Settle in with some hot cocoa or tea for a long post.

Friday I had my doctor's appointment and it went well. I learned just the night before how to calculate the appropriate Armour thyroid dose for the levothyroxine I was taking and realized that I needed 120mg of Armour. I have been taking 150mcg of levothyroxine since my blood tests two weeks ago and have felt better. The equivalent to that is 120mg (2 grains) of Armour.

So when I saw the doctor that's what I asked for, explained I had been on 150mcg levothyroxine for two weeks and that I felt better. He said that asking for the Reverse T3 test was a good idea. Since it's normal I really am converting very poorly. He prescribed the amount of Armour I wanted. The photo at the left is my new prescription. Click on it for a larger size.

I told him about my foot and how it still hurt two weeks later. He x-rayed it. He said there was some fluid there, but didn't see any breaks, though a stress fracture wouldn't show up until at least four weeks after the injury as the break calcifies. Most likely it's a tendon problem and there's not much I can do except ice it. He gave me a presciption for an anti-inflammatory cream. (I ended up not filling that prescription because it was simply too expensive and icing it seems to be helping.)

I showed the doctor my Vitamin D results and told him that I'd been taking 4400IU a day and had now cut back to 3400IU since it's summer. He was pleased with the results and said to keep taking the 3400IU a day.

After the appointment Brad and I went to the Apple store and got one of the geeks to look at my iPod. At first he didn't hear anything, but eventually he could hear the distortion. He did some tests on it and found that it really is a sound card problem - even all the alert sounds were distorted. I got a new iPod on the spot, though of course I have lost the engraving now. :( The engraving had been free anyway, so I am not going to worry. Mailing it in to be fixed and get a new engraved one back would have taken two weeks.

After that Brad dropped me off at home and he went to a Jewish synagogue service he had been invited to. I have been the Shabbat services before and did not care to go.

Saturday after church we headed to Costco to fill the prescription. They didn't have a bottle of 100 pills of Armour. They gave me three pills to "tide me over" and said to come back on Monday. I asked if my friend could pick up the prescription for me and they said yes. So he will go back Monday to get them.

I hadn't slept well Friday night and had been tired all day. I took one Armour pills as soon as I got it and I must say that I felt better the rest of the day - no tiredness and plenty of energy.

As inevitably happens, I crash the day after a "good" day. I had to be into work early today for a 12 hour shift and even though I slept well, I was very tired. Brad got me a tall skinny latte with two shots of espresso and it did nothing. I leaned back in my chair at work, put my feet on the counter, and promptly fell asleep. I was awoken a few times by alarms or phone calls, but was able to drift back off.

Saturday afternoon after arriving home, Brad realized he left his cell phone at church. We called Pastor Steve and eventually made arrangements to get it back. We started off to drive back to Pinole, but almost immediately after leaving Brad's right rear brake, which had been giving him trouble for week, blew out. We couldn't use it, only use the left brakes to slightly slow down. The trip was off and Brad carefully drove us back to my apartment while I called Pastor Steve to explain the situation.

Brad and I ended up taking the bus into Alameda. I got a small Tuttimelon chocolate gelato topped with granola. Then we went next door to Starbucks and Brad got a Breve latte and I ended up with a slice of reduced-fat cinnamon swirl coffee cake. It was heavenly!

We went to Safeway to get a case of Splenda-sweetened diet soda. I am eating very light today and didn't want to fill my body with aspartame-sweetened diet soda if I got hungry. A few diet sodas a day, okay. But if I ended up drinking several I wanted something sweetened with Splenda.

We got Diet Coke with Splenda and a few others items, including a bottle of champagne (well, sparkling wine) just for the heck of it, and I also got a fat-free yogurt and some organic blueberries for part of my dinner plus a couple packages of lithium batteries I need for both my food scale and pedometer (they both take the same batteries).

Since Applebee's was right there at the shopping center I asked to go there. I had one Mochatini and was going to stop there. This wasn't a pay week when we would normally go there, so cash is tight. Brad said he would buy me another one if I wanted and of course I said yes. Brad just got a Coke for himself, which they didn't charge him for. (They know us because we are there so often and tip well so they sometimes promo us something that's cheap like a Coke.) :)

We took the bus home, but stopped at 7-Eleven so I could buy a couple of the Big Bite hot dogs for the rest of my dinner. We went home and I ate, but Brad was too upset (he got worked up over boss J and the car, so he didn't eat, but he did help me drink the champagne.

This morning we had to get up extra early because Brad couldn't drive me in. We walked down to the BART station, but took the bus into work through Alameda. My foot was hurting and if we took BART we'd have to take another bus from there anyway, so it was cheaper this way.

At work Brad went to Pinole to get his cell phone, and I punched in for my 11 am-11 pm shift. I actually punched in a half hour early because P wanted to get going. I hope no one makes a stink over 30 minutes of double time.

I am not going to the gym tomorrow. 12 hours shifts call for recovery. Hopefully I can go Tuesday and maybe Wednesday too. I'll have to see how I feel.

I'll keep everyone updated on how I feel with the addition of T3 in this new med. Someone told me that my body is used to a low level of T3 (I'm sure it is), so it's a big shock to have it added. We will see how I do.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Here's a cute photo of Abby to start off this blog entry. I caught her at just the right moment. She's such a beautiful feral tabby cat. :) Click the photo for a larger size.

I overslept and had to rush out of the house to the laundromat. I set my alarm, but forgot to turn it on! Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of laundry this week.

I walked down to the laundromat and back, then down to BART. I caught the bus through Alameda and stopped at Safeway for garlic wine vinegar. My local Safeway only carries the small bottles and I wanted the big ones.

Weekend plans:I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and then an appointment at the Apple store to deal with my iPod Touch's audio issues.

The doctor will probably prescribe me Armour and I will need to get the prescription filled. Armour is going through a reformulation right now and I am trying to find out if and how I can get the new formulation. Costco pharmacy was no help, and Forest Pharmaceuticals was closed for the day.

My foot is still hurt so I plan to take it easy on Saturday with no walking/hiking. Sunday I go into work early, and next Thursday I am staying until 3 a.m., so it will be a long week.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Ok, new blood tests results are back. I was on 100mcg levothryroxine at the time. No weird dosing this time so I results are reliable. I also got my Vitamin D test back from LapCorp. I use Quest for everything else.

Quest Vitamin D 7/25/08: 39 (20-100)LabCorp Vitamin D 5/29/09: 55.2 (32-100)I have been taking 4400 IU a day and recently cut back to 3400 since it is summer now.

The Free T3 is still below range, but the Reverse T3 looks okay to me and well within range. I'm simply not converting T4 into T3, period. I see the doctor this Friday and expect to be put on Armour at that time. I'm going to ask for 90mg.

After my blood test I put myself on 150mcg levothyroxine and so far so good. I feel better, which is why I think the 90mg of Armour would be more appropriate that the 60mg the doc will probably want to give me.

My new iPod Touch is broken! On full volume I can barely hear it, never mind any noise around me. It's less than a month old and still covered under the phone support warranty, so I called Apple. They set my up with an appointment at an Apple store to have someone look at it. I will lose the engraving unless I send it in, but since the engraving was free when I bought it that's no big deal. The best appointment they could give me was Friday at 6 pm.

Today I went to the gym and did my usual - one hour of weight training followed my 30 minutes cardio. I did the elliptical since it doesn't hurt my foot. Yes, my foot still hurts, but it's better than it was. I walked to work from my train stop for another 30 minutes of exercise.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Boss J had a talk with my today. He presented me with an official document for me to sign and that will go in my personnel file. It freaked me out so bad that I popped a couple Xanax to help calm me down. He said that all our previous e-mails about me asking about my performance, etc. are "unofficial," and that this document is not. This document will follow me around for the rest of my life and will never be purged.

It includes a stipulation to stay away from the Internet between 5 and 7 pm – a half hour longer than the Open Forum program that runs during that time. He wants to make good sure that nothing detracts from my attention a half hour before OF to the end. Unnecessary and punitive if you ask me. He just likes to impose excessive rules. Such is the nature of a boss such as J.

He backed off on his attitude in the e-mail exchanges and admitted he was getting contentious. He claimed he has nothing against me personally. Yeah right. That’s why he never asks me how I’m doing anymore or say "good night" when he leaves for the day like he used to. A cooler attitude like that means nothing at all, right? Ha! He may believe he has nothing against me or can be objective, but his actions speak for themselves.

I want to make a comment about a comment left on a post here re: negative calorie foods. The person gave an extensive list include such carby things as green beans and sugary fruits such as pineapple. There is no way on God's green earth that those things are negative calorie. It's a common list, but it has no science to back it up. The link I gave about celery being negative calorie included the science behind why it is. So if you read the comments and stumble up on that list, take it with a huge grain of salt.

Today I walked down to BART, did my bi-monthly mail run into the City, and then walked from my stop to work when I got back. I bought four large bottles of magnesium/potassium aspertate at GNC. I turned in the receipt to the health lady downstairs, L, and I will get 50% reimbursement for it. Tomorrow I hope to go to the gym.

Monday, June 08, 2009

I didn't update you yesterday on my weekend. As I said I planned to do, I took Thursday off. I did laundry and grocery shopped with Brad and vegged other than that.

Friday I binged. I walked down to Wendy's for a chocolate Frosty with the new toffee sprinkles. Yummy. Then I walked up to Subway for a sandwich, cookies, and a Diet Coke. When Brad came over we went to Applebee's for drinks; I also got their Mile High Ice Cream Pie which I have been wanting to try. Then we went to McDonald's for a mini meal (double cheeseburger meal and I got an iced coffee to drink), and Lourd's for a scoop of Rocky Road ice cream. We pay-per-viewed Hotel For Dogs.

Saturday after church we went to the Red Cross so I could give blood. That went fine and then we went home and relaxed and pay-per-viewed The Day the Earth Stood Still. We went to 7-Eleven so I could have a hot dog and I decided on their hot dog meal combo. I also got a brownie since I have been craving one.

I'm thinking about how to approach my next doctor appointment. He's willing to put me on Armour and I'm willing to try it. I think I will ask for 1 1/2 grains (90mg), which is equivalent to 150mcg levothyroxine. 1 grain (60mg) is equivalent to 88mcg levo I believe, and I don't think that's a high enough dosage.

I put myself on 150mcg levo since my last blood tests, just to see how I feel and gauge if I need a higher dose or not. I want to ask for doctor for 1 1/2 grains, but taken in two pills - one 1/2 grain and one 1 grain. That way if 1 1/2 grains turns out to be too much for me than dropping back to 1 grain will be a simple matter. Of course, part of all this will matter on how I feel overall on 150mcg levo and how my blood tests on 100mcg come back.

Today I went to the gym and did one hour of weight training and 30 minutes on the elliptical. I felt quite strong on the weights. :) I walked from the BART station to work for extra calorie burn.

Bus fare is going up again. I saw the notice about a week ago, but today I finally saw what the new fare would be. It's going up another 25 cents, from $1.75 base fare to $2, plus the same 25 cents for a transfer. *sigh* It goes up July 1.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

No weigh-in today. I binged again, this time on both Friday and Saturday so I'm not going near the scale. I dread the thought of how much weigh I've gained. I binged Friday because I was just so hungry that I caved. I know I'm weak and I hate that food has such power over me. I hate that I am a compulsive eater and only one step away from having Binge Eating Disorder.

I learned this weekend that celery really IS a negative calorie food - it takes more calories to digest it than it actually contains. Looks like I need to eat a lot more! Unfortunately, the article did not list any other foods that are negative calorie.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Went to the gym Wednesday. I had to go in to get a new membership card. The guy I talked to on the phone said he'd wave the fee, and Wednesday was the last chance for me to see him this week. So I got my new membership card started and got a temporary barcode and new photocopy of my ID card in the meantime.

I did one hour of weight training and 30 minutes on the elliptical. That didn't seem to bother my swollen foot. I then walked to work from BART to save the bus fare and get more exercise. That did hurt my foot.

Boss J is freaking me out so bad that now I am having nightmares. It's hard to get restful sleep when you lapse back into the nightmare every time you drift back off. I dreamed he put me on the overnight shift and I was utterly distraught. I had this nightmare Monday night and wish he would stay out of my head and life when I am not at work!

Bus fare is going up again. I saw the sign on the bus Tuesday night but it didn't say what the new fare will be. I'm betting on it going from $1.75 base fare to $2 or possibly $2.25. So I just bought all these 10 Ride passes that I have to use. :-p Fare goes up July 1, but 10-Ride passes can be used through August 31 by paying the additional fare. My paycheck is not keeping up with all this. :(

And now my sister is lobbying for my to fly to Seattle to see Dad. He is very depressed in the nursing home and evidently stopped eating enough. He wound up with low blood sugar and was taken to the hospital where he was stabilized. *sigh* I really wish he could be put in an assisted living facility, but that can only be done if he privately pays. My sis had explained the whole situation to me and it is a mess.

I'm taking tomorrow off so no blog entry. I'm been typing these entries at work on my work e-mail and then mailing them to my home e-mail where I copy and paste it into my blog. I haven't decided if I will weigh-in on Sunday or not. Right now I would say not simply because I am still such a cow from five days of binging.

Either way, I'll be back Sunday. My one week of no Internet at work is up tomorrow so boss J can't say anything when I log in on Sunday.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Nothing much to report for Tuesday. Mom's check to replace my bus and BART passes came Monday. I deposited it Tuesday and then went up to Safeway to buy new passes. My Commuter Checks also came in Monday, so I used those also. After that I walked down to the train station and then over to the 7-Eleven by the bridge. About 1 hour and 10 minutes total. Every step is still painful and the top of my right foot is still swollen.

I'm hoping to go to the gym Wednesday. I need to talk to a specific person about my lost membership pass and he won't be in when I can get there except Wednesday. As long as I have to go in I might as well workout. Weight training shouldn't be a problem except for some leg exercises that require foot movement. I'll have to see what I can do for cardio that won't hurt my foot.

I'm experimenting with eggs before bed instead of cottage cheese. Eggs have no calcium, the iron content of "Best of the Egg" is low, and there is zero iron in "All Whites." No calcium or iron at bedtime means I could take my thyroid meds before bed and be able to take iron supplements in the morning.

I'm also experimenting with a higher thyroid dose to see how I feel and taking 150mcg instead of 100. I think when I next see my doctor I will ask for 1 grain of Armour (60mg I believe), plus 50mcg of levothyroxine. I definitely have to take something with T3 because I don't appear to be converting. Hopefully Armour will do the trick for me.

I don't know when I will next weigh-in or even step on the scale. Five days of binging packed on a bunch of stomach fat so I look pretty horrible right now with a huge tummy. I'm back on plan, but starving myself with an average of around 1300 calories a day (sometimes more, sometimes less) only results in maintaining my weight. So I don't have a huge amount of confidence that this tummy fat will come off. The last time I binged for five days I put on 10 lbs. and most of it was FAT that did not come off once I got back on plan. That's why I'm afraid to get on the scale right now.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Forget weigh-ins or anything like that. I have been totally and complete berserk of late. I had the mini binge on Wednesday that I wrote about. Then after boss J yanked my Internet access on Thursday I managed to get off work early (I was a total mess, ever after taking some Xanax). I got Brad to pick me up and take me to Applebee's where I drank and ate bad food (cheese sticks appetizer and bacon cheeseburger with fries). We finally went to my apartment where I showered and went to bed.

Friday Brad woke me up when he got up for work. I got up shortly after that and went off to get my blood tests. Well, I tried to do that at least. When I looked for my bus pass I couldn't find it. My gym pass is also missing. I tore my purse, backpack, and the house apart - nothing. Brad looked around the office - nothing. I must have left it on the bus or something. The problems with J are effecting my life. Last week I spent a half hour looking for my keys before finding them and this week I spent an hour looking for a bus pass that never did turn up!

There were four passes in there - a partly used BART and 10 Ride bus pass, plus a brand new BART and 10 Ride bus pass. Argh! I called my Mom in tears asking for money to replace the lost passes, and told her what was lost. She has helped me with this before, but with the economy the way it is she said she'd talk it over with her husband Bill and get back to me. She eventually called me back and said they would send me $100. I had a spare BART and bus pass set aside and used those to get to Lab Corp for Vitamin D testing and then at Quest for my thyroid tests.

Needless to say, the stress of this caused me to keep binging and pretty soon I was off plan again and eating whatever I wanted. :(

Friday after Brad got off work we did some quick shopping for a few items that I hadn't picked up on my way into work Thursday.

Saturday I decided to skip church. I was (and still am) emotionally exhausted and badly needed "veg" time. Brad got up for church and I got up, threw on a sweatshirt, and went to McDonald's for breakfast in my PJs. Then I came back home, watched TV in bed for a while, napped for a while, then vegged in front of the TV a little more, and finally got up and made sandwiches for our planned hike on Sunday.

When Brad came home from church I ate the snacks he brought. He brought granola bars (which I said not to), a few Cheese-Its (which I also said not to), very few peanuts, a few Goldfish (which I don't even like), and then mixed all the snacks (except the granola bars of course) into one big cup. :-p I don't like food mixed together and so even after he separated everything I didn't really enjoy eating it.

Saturday afternoon I started to feel a bit better. It was time for a complete litter box change so I dumped all the old litter into the trash, scraped the box, then took the trash out. Brad wanted to to do more. I told him he could if he wanted and I didn't usually wash the box out when I changed it. He rinsed it with hot water and wiped it down with the sponge I keep in the bathroom, then sprayed it down with disinfectant and wiped it dry. I poured new litter in.

I asked Brad if he would sweep the floors for me. His idea of sweeping is more in depth than mine. He swept the floor twice and even gave the house a quick once over with the Swiffer mop. While he was sweeping I crawled under my table and picked out the mass of hair and dust that has collected around all the cords, and used a whisk broom for the small stuff. It wasn't a great job, but it's not nearly as dirty under there as it was.

I crawled out of my pajamas and we went to Safeway to pick up a few items, including a bag of tortilla chips for out hike. Then I asked him to take my to Lourd's and got a scoop of double dutch ice cream. We took the few groceries home and relaxed a while.

In the evening we went to KFC for dinner to try their new grilled chicken. I was still hungry and wanted dessert. We checked Subway but they were already closed. I asked for Taco Bell and got a Crunchwrap Supreme (my fave food there) and a caramel apple Empanada (like a McDonald's apple pie only with caramel flavor added). Brad tasted it and liked and so we each bought another as we left.

Sunday we had oatmeal for breakfast and then left for the hike. We ended up covering about 20 miles! It was great and awesome and felt wonderful. We hit every group camp in the Lake Chabot area. We did get lost a couple of times but were eventually able to get ourselves oriented. I now have a better idea of the layout of the trails and other trails we need to hit still.

We ate plenty on the hike - two sandwiches each, three Subway cookies each, a small probiotic chocolate bar each, a bag of tortilla chips, a bag of beef jerky (Brad ate most of that), and a granola bar left over from Saturday (it was a two bar pack so we each had one).

The top of my right foot started hurting early on. It was still hurting when I got home and I iced it. It was clearly swollen and red in comparison to my other foot on Monday morning and I iced it again. I also prepped veggies for the week on Monday morning - something else I didn't get done on Friday.

Anyway, Sunday evening after our hike I wanted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner so we stopped at Safeway. Brad had never have a peanut butter and banana sandwich so we bought a few bananas. We also each got an apple and he got a loaf of bread for his house. I made him a PB and banana sandwhich when we got home and he liked it so much he made himself another one! I had just regular PB&J. After the hike I was so hungry I ended up eating 4 1/2 PB&J sandwiches, plus an apple, banana, and chocolate bar!

Brad and I also tried out the new large wine glass I bought (YouTube video) The bottle we used is a good Cabernet he bought that cost about $33! Yike! To me, that is quite expensive, but it was very good wine. We split it after pouring it into the glass. :)

I talked to P and S from work about filling in another shift for me this week. I need to get away from Jon and that means getting away from work. The stress is eating me alive. P e-mailed me back and said he could not cover any shift for me this week. I called S and she got back to me and said she could work Thursday for me, so it looks like I will get Thursday off and a three day weekend! :) I am currently going through all the e-mail confirmations that boss J demands. I also wrote her on the schedule even though J says the schedule means "nothing." Well then why is it posted?!?

Well, hopefully things will get better. For now all I can do is type these posts at work, e-mail them to myself, and then copy and paste them to my blog. So no cool photos or links for a while.

About Me

I'm an ex-Witch, but have been a Christian since 1996, joining the Seventh Day Baptist church in 1999. I'm politically moderate, but conservative faith-wise. I believe in headcovering (1 Cor. 11). I'm truly pro-life, which means I am also against the death penalty.