I was excited when the teaser came out and I saw the cast (with the exception of Pete Davidson, whom I don't care for that much). A Big Lebowski spin-off about Jesus with Christopher Walken in the cast is already good enough of a reason to watch this. Then on top of that, they also got Audrey Tatou, Susan Sarandon, and Jon Hamm. Take my money!

These are the type of existential questions that drive most people crazy.

I mean, plenty of movies have no bowling in them. Many fine movies don't even mention it. But if your central character is called "The Bowling Jesus", aren't you kind of obliged to include it in some way? At least acknowledge its existence as a form of recreation.

He's also, as Walter (John Goodman) says, a pervert—specifically, a pedophile who spent six months in prison for exposing himself to an 8-year-old girl.

It's never specified if the 8-year-old is a girl or boy.

And yes, I have watched the movie enough times to recall that from memory. Don't look at me like that.

It kind of is, actually.

I too have seen the movie many times. Walter, who speaks as if he is reasonably educated goes on to say that when Jesus moved there, he, "had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast". This would have been made clear in the film when Donny asks what that is, except that unfortunately, Donny asking Walter almost anything triggers Walter to utter his trademark phrase, (which I hear Steve Buscemi really hates hearing from random strangers now,) basically as if it's a reflex. But according to the Oxford English Dictionary, (I checked,) pederast means someone sexually attracted to young boys. (I actually double checked, because I have encountered the word before, (in Patrick O'Brian's "Master and Commander,") and wondered what it meant.)

Here... a pederast is a "man who has or desires sexual relations with a boy. Also in wider sense (chiefly derogatory): a man who practises anal intercourse; a homosexual man." (OED.)