Thursday, June 23

Body: Low back again very tight all morning, improved tons after session. Session went surprisingly well considering how I've been feeling; had I come in feeling better I would even have attempted 255 deadlift, but I decided I could be satisfied with stringing together another week of 245x2 given the mental state. I also nailed a 75x2 overhead press which felt surprisingly easy, like another rep wasn't out of the question. Holy shit! Played a game of wiffleball that the boss boys won once again, very fun. Couch to 5k felt hot and bleah, but we made it short and I finished up with the "slowpokes" who I suspect will outlast everyone else in terms of keeping it in their schedules.

Brain: Bleah all morning, scattered shots at productivity. Session was a huge boost, as was team meeting. Couch to 5k was a happy send-off, thrilled to be done despite how glad I am to keep doing it. Received a bonus at NSS today and although nothing was said about FT, naturally I interpreted it as "because we can't hire you, here's something to keep you happy," and it made me want to cry. I want to tear it up and throw it at them because it's NOT ENOUGH. I don't want bonuses; I want to be there full-time, and I want to be able to afford the pay cut they need me to take, and I have to find a way to make that happen, because the lack of answer is a clear sign they can't pay what I asked for, and I miss that momentary two weeks where I felt like I had delivered all that stress to them and it was just a matter of time. Sigh. I need some extensive downtime, yo.

About Me

And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, "This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!"
And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, "No. This is what's important."
--Iain Thomas