Crummy Thieves
Thieves really did take the biscuit when they made off with a giant gold-plated cookie from outside a cake factory in Germany.

Wee Delay
A women who paralysed railway lines when she pee-ed on the tracks has been arrested by police in Cologne, Germany.

Breach of the P**s
Fugitive crook Andy Becher, 26, was caught with his pants down when he was arrested by police while taking a pee on a railway platform in Hamburg, Germany.

Loodunit
Police chiefs who used hidden cameras for 18 months in a bid to catch a loo roll thief in their own headquarters are facing an investigation into illegal surveillance techniques.

Milking It
Angry mums have accused black marketeers of creaming off a fortune from bulk buying baby milk formula from supermarket shelves in Germany, and flogging it to China.

Radar Trip
A driver caught with an illegal radar trap warning gadget in his car has been let off a 100 GBP fine in Germany - after telling judges he only uses it abroad.

Wolf Down
An elderly German hunter who refused to pay a fine for shooting dead the first wolf to be seen in the Rhineland area of Germany for 123 years has ended up with a bigger fine - and court costs.

Bra-Gade of Guards
An elite military Guards battalion is growing boobs because of the way they drill, a shock military medical report had revealed in Germany.

Fat Blue Liar
Red-faced police have apologised to a driver for nicking him for speeding after he proved their mobile radar trap had been sent haywire by an overweight WPC.

Rumpy Pumpy
A sex shop owner who got round early closing laws by fitting a petrol pump in his car park and re-registering as a service station has been sued by Town Hall officials in Germany.

Hush Puppies
Police dogs are to be issued with shoes to protect their paws from broken glass at riots and crime scenes after successful trials in Germany.

Sperm Bank Robbery Trial
Two docs who allowed the estranged wife of German man Dieter Fried, 40, to get pregnant with twins using a sperm sample he earlier donated are appealing a ruling to pay child maintenance.

Heavy Mob
A teenage burglary gang who fled with a quarter ton safe in the boot of their Nissan Micra were caught when traffic police stopped them because they thought their suspension was broken.

Fake Austrians spied for Russia for 25 years
One of the biggest spying trials of the last decade started today (TUE) in Germany in which two Russians managed to buy Austrian passports and were given thousands of pounds to create a successful middle class identity.

Sew Painful
The family of a patient who died after surgeons left 16 different items inside his body during an op are seeking 100,000 GBP compensation from hospital authorities.

Third Reich-oons
Hoards of Nazi racoons are sweeping across Europe after overwhelming armies of huntsmen trying to halt their march across the continent.

Youre Knickered
Twin sisters Sophie and Marie Maier have been fined 5,000 GBP each in Cologne, Germany, after stripping off their undies and hurling them at cops arresting them for being drunk and disorderly.

How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.