Monday, 19 April 2010

Business Studies

Amy Shindler (Brenda Tucker)

Judging from last week's episodes, it seems that Ambridge has been gripped by a bout of Marketing fever – they're all at it.

I blame Brenda and her job application, which went on a bit. I mean, it only took Tolkein 12 years to write The Lord of the Rings. "I'm desperate to find a job where I can use my qualifications" she explained to Tom. I'd suggest she gets used to asking "do you want fries with that?" If Macdonalds won't have her, she can always put in more time on Tom's burger van.

Our next marketeer is Harry, who has great plans for the milk round – a blog, Facebook page, Twitter and a database of customers. "What you're talking about is marketing – that's Mike's department" said Jazzer. That explains it – the marketing gene obviously runs in the Tucker family and Brenda is a chip off the old block.

Speaking of Harry, it's not often that I agree with Jazzer (mostly because I can't understand him) but when he says that nobody should be as cheerful as Harry at 4 am, I think he has a point.

Moving on, it seems that the Tucker marketing gene can be transferred by marriage, as we witness the attempts by Vicky to flog her veal. I can see Mike taking carcasses on the milk round at this rate. Personally I reckon Vicky's most successful marketing strategy would be to say "and if you agree to take my veal, I promise I'll never come and talk to you again." I hope the story ends soon, as frankly it's nothing more than a load of bullocks.

A rather tenuous marketing link now, with the story of Eddie leaving the gate open at the market so that the cows escaped. For someone who is supposed to be such a natural stockman, I submit that not closing a gate is something of a fundamental cock-up. Tony was supportive: "They can't give you the sack for one bit of carelessness" he said. Oh yeah? Ask the guy in charge of safety at Chernobyl.

A story that has nothing to do with marketing is that of Pip and Jude. Poor Pip was distraught, saying to Izzy: "I rang him last night and there were people there. There were girls there!" Having spent her last penny to get down to Newquay, Jude's reaction to seeing her was a tad lukewarm. However, the old romantic did pay for her lunch, generously telling her that she could pay him back next week sometime. I fear the Pip/Jude loveboat is steering dangerously near to the rocks. And a good thing too.

Finally, we move into the realm of the surreal and discover how dangerous it can be to take a phrase out of context. Take the following exchange:

Nic: Is everything OK, Brian?

Brian: Everything's fine, thanks – you just get on with pulling David's