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Growing up in Southern California, my family was blessed to own three house Mexicans. Though they did not speak much American, they still had hearts of gold.

They would cook, clean, garden and tend to my siblings and me, all with a kindly smile and steadfast determination. At the end of the day, dad would give them a bit of money and usually some food or other nice things to take home with them.

The older lady of them, Dona Josefa, lived with us throughout a good portion of the school year. Memories of her smiling eyes and taco-scented hugs still fill my heart with warmth to this very day.

All across Southern California, Mexicans are vital to the economy. Some help farmers pick lettuce and sell produce to the free markets. Others do massive amounts of landscaping or perhaps serve up burgers at the local McDonalds.

My childhood house Mexicans always worked hard and all three of those ladies never asked for a cent more than what they were paid; they appreciated the honor of serving a proper family with their dedicated work.

In exchange for their service, we gave them really money — American dollars — to take home to their families. I think Dad paid each of them $50 a day, which is good money for a Mexican. They never stole and we helped their family establish a great new life in los Estados Unidos and even shared the same Catholic faith.

Sadly, things are not the same in modern times.

There are liberals out there who are racist and hate Mexicans. They call them lazy, no good workers and have no sympathy for the way Mexico’s economy is failing them. Mexico is full of corrupt politicians who squander US aide money and ship it into their African-inspired drug cartels, and liberals create laws that make us give health-insurance to children born to Mexicans in our country, so we will have anger toward the Mexicans for using up our health care.

These hard-working Mexicans only want to sneak into America so they can work for our families. Sure, there are bad apples in every bunch. Some Mexicans are indeed very evil opportunists, and our border patrol guards and patriots can only wait and pick out so many suspicious looking ones, then send them back to their swine-flu laden lands.

Many of the new Mexicans who sneak into our country have attitudes. They love knives and violence. They are no longer professing 3rd world Catholics like my house Mexicans growing up. They are gangsters malos and strike terror into my heart.

Not even the women can be trusted, as they will steal your items and flaunt their curvy bean dipped hips in front of your husband and sons. I would love for my children to have the culture-enriching experience of having several Mexican nannies, but the risk is too great.

Thinking about this, one thing popped into my mind. Why can’t I own a Canadian?

Think about it. Racism is ugly and trusting one’s neighbors is Christlike, so we should also let people from ALL the lesser Americas to come visit us to work as well. Canada is a country full of snow-bound savages who are good at chopping wood and light industrial tasks.

Imagine how much the impoverished state of Michigan could benefit by having Native Canadians and even their fair-skinned counterparts drift into the state to provide base labor. It would juice the economy.

Looking at data, we can actually see that Canada is a far more peaceful nation than that of Mexicans. Go figure, it is full of former British and Indian bloodlines. Millions of Canadians anxiously await for us to allow them to sneak in, as they all live within 200 miles of our American border.

Owning poor foreign people is a great experience that every family should have. The values and warm memories I have from the experience are everlasting, and I’m sure those three kind Mexican women were able to provide their family with untold riches from all the money we gave them.

If we are able to have such an experience with more trustworthy modern people, like the Canadians, it would be a truly splendid thing for this generation and more to come.

It would actually be more prudent to encourage jobless Canadians to come to America and be our house workers.

Friends, let us vote the liberals out of office. They are against NAFTA and a super-highway that will connect us in special Christian harmony.

Are you really hat effing stupid. “why can’t I own a Canadian?” Who in there right mind would right a blog about that. ANd im PRetty sure that $50 dollars a day is shit. And can you honestly think that you can own people? What semi smart person thinks that?

Ok Amber, no offence, but you, are a racist bigoted prick who needs to fuck back off to their communal cult and continue wasting your life in a vein attempt to appease a God who doesn’t even exist, How’d you like them apples, you stupid dirty bitch? It’s people like you who keep us in the dark ages. Well done, if God did exist, he would fucking hate you.

you are so fucking retarted, you american cunt, you fuks wish you could be like us,(Canadians)we don’t need to shoot anybody, we get FREE health care, you dipshits are scared of your country, your neighbours, your shadows when you walk outside at night, and you post this shit on a Christaian website, does your bible state only God loves Americans, lol, your stupidity did make me laugh today, that their are retarted people that know how to type words, (two fingers counts)

Sometimes when I get bored at school I type in a word on google, and see what kind of things other people having been searching(this could be becuase I am an American and I’m stipid. I don’t know.) So I typed in the word “why”, and see quite a few interesting questions. “Why do men have nipples?”, “Why does my vag smell?”. But when I see “Why can’t I own a Canadian?” I was interested. What caught my attention though, was not the article itself(though really disturbing, and morally fucked) but was the comments. I am not proud to be an American… I would acctually love to live in Canada. I’m not happy being grouped in with the steriotype of the country I live in. My family was never able to afford great health care, and my mom, father, brother and I are all pretty damn fit. I’m not completely ignorant… I’m not full of myself or my country. and I don’t think that we are superior to Canada, in any way. There are worse places to live, and there are better places to live. I’m sorry, but I was a bit offended when I read the things that these Canadians were saying about me. Yes I said me, becuase I did take it a bit personally. Im sorry, I just don’t want myself or the people like me to be grouped in with these seriotypes. There a lot of people who aren’t like that… Just think about what you say before you say it. Canada is amazing… I’ll be moving down there as soon as its possible. though I will miss the country I live in currently. Thats all I really have to say.
- An underwieght, kind of ignorant, Unconcieded, American.

rick brings up a good point, we don’t need to pay disability on our canadian slaves, er, migrant workers. just send them back home to have them refurbished. tithe the savings to the lord for his blessings so that he may smite obama AND his care.

also, i’m under the impression this article was written in jest, i hope.

as for Americans in general, yeah, we’re a weird bunch, but most countries have had periods of great social anxiety. for all our hard talk, if you kill an illegal immigrant here, it’s still murder. you better hope i’m not on that jury.

This was obviously a joke. Its a political satire to reveal to the average republican (from the liberal perspective) an exaggeration of what they look like to us liberals. Seriously, no one is that stupid.

I was bored and typed in WHY in Google. The whole discussion is very funny and gave me a good laugh. Thank you. I tell people that the reason I broke up with my boyfriend is that he acted like a Canadian at our local baseball game this summer- he wouldn’t take off his hat during the national anthem! Darn Newfies!(NewFoundlanders)

What the fuck is your problem you american piece of shit what the fuck is your problem!! you can’t own a fucking canadian, why don’t you just go and get ass fucked by your bulldog you pudgy cunt, you have been fucked in the ass by your dog so much that when you fart instead of hearing a rip type of noise you here a whiff because your dogs fat chode has torn your asshole apart. Have some more mcdonalds you fat fuck it’s obviously ruining your brain because you honestly think that you can own a fucking canadian, i am going to shove ferris’ dick down your throat so far that it will tickle your intestines, and you will shit a brick.
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cunts.

amber:
Are you fucking stupid or something?
Who would write something like that?
Mexicans don’t know how to use computers yet?
Chinga tu puta madre mendiga lepa.
I bet my high school intelligence level as a Mexican-American is 10 times superior to your fucking white trash puny brain.
I’m surprised that you even got through the whole blog, or what, did someone have to read it for you and explain it?
You know what, why am I even wasting my time with a dumbass with a fucking ECE level of comprehension skills.
I’m ashamed of being an American with idiots like you inhabiting this country, you should just roll over and die or something.
PS. who is stupid enough to question whether or not a website like this is accessible to Canadians?, my deepest regrets to Canadians and Mexicans in behalf of all the other non vain or racist Americans.

You, sir, said it all. Thank you. I have so much to say, considering I’m Mexican-American. I hate it so much when people like this hoe just deepen the American stereotype even more than it already is. Seriously, I hope this person finds a way to reflect on everything she has typed and actually regret it all. Stupid bitch….

i love the idiots that talk about being semi-smart and what not. Well, learn how to SPELL first before making insults. You people on here talking to this person thinking your going to change her ideology…once again. IDIOTS. You can curse all you want, you can say whatever you want, it will only fuel amber’s fire. Hahahahaha take a psychology class or something.

p.s. Americans > Canadians.

Canadians live in the shadow of the United States…soooo don’t be too butthurt.

Whoever wrote this the stupidest person I have have ever heard. They should be shot in the face and drug behind a pickup then defecated upon by hundreds of aids stricken people with explosive diarrhea. You suck!

after reading so much idiocy i thought to myself, oh this bitch has to be fucking kidding too. then i realized shes serious, so i checked the date to see if this was somehow written maybe 100 yrs ago, get this august 31, 2009 not even a year ago. so naturally i assumed i read wrong and this cunt is actually from texas, no CA(most upsetting thing for me cause i live there and PLEASE DONT THINK ALL PEOPLE FROM CA ARE LIKE THIS, WE ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS BITCH WE ARE MOSTLY KIND PEOPLE DEFINATELY NOT RACIST AND ANY CANADIANS READING THIS DONT START HATING ALL AMERICANS BECAUSE OF THIS BITCH IM AMERICAN I DONT HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH CANADIANS OR CANADA I KINDA THINK ITS BETTER THAN AMERICA YOU GUYS GOT HEALTH CARE AND I HEARD YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO SPIT ON SIDEWALKS THERE AND THAT ITS REALLY CLEAN THERE ANYWAYS DONT MAKE YOUR OPINION TIL YOU MEET US WERE NOT PEOPLE EXCEPT THIS BITCH AMBER) so now im just assuming this bitch is seriously dumb and was dropped a few times as a baby. i am gonna sit and take my time to say a few things(though theres nothing right about this)of the many that are wrong with this.me and my fam were blessed to own mexicans,seriously thats not a blessing thats horrible theyre people. They would cook, clean, garden and tend to my siblings and me, all with a kindly smile and steadfast determination, i think they were smiling cause each time they cooked they did all kinds of nasty shit to your food.

HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW THIS IS SATIRE. I DON’T CARE, I COULDN’T FIND ONE TIME THIS BITCH SAID SO. ALSO I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOU DON’T GO ABOUT IT LIKE THIS, YOU DON’T OFFEND PEOPLE LIKE THIS BESIDES THIS SHIT MAKES EVERYBODY LOOK BAD AND GIVES PEOPLE THE RIGHT TO FEED INTO STEREOTYPES

I have hairs in my nose that consist of more substance than that which exists in your heads. The entire article is complete sarcasm, and it should be obvious to anyone who bothered to actually read it. It hardly surprises me anymore, since people are still trying to get “To Kill a Mockingbird” banned for its use of the word “nigger,” but should anyone ever ask me to define narrow-minded literalism, I will direct them to this comment section.

2) Look at all the stupid ass canadians. Boo hoo. You stipid fucking american bitch ass cunt whore dumbasses. (and every
other name in the book, because they are ignorant canadians who wish they could have a vocabulary.)

To all you dumb canadians, your worse than the mexicans. Look at what you fucktards post.
You make me lawlzors in my pants.
To all you dumb canadians. PLEASE. DON’T. HESITATE. TO. GO. PLAY. IN. TRAFFIC.
You are a hazard to the human population, you DO NOT and SHOULD NOT reproduce.
Your are fucking up the world we live in with your ignorance and stupidity.

You call Canadians stupid, you can’t even spell that word. What a fucking retard you are. Canadians have nearly half of the worlds supplies in everything, we have 1/3 of all fresh water in the world… which you overpopulated americans, who have no education because your country is dumbass one. You guys have a 14.5 trillion dollar debt, wow. We have a 40 BILLION dollar one, and it just keeps on going DOWN, not up. The people of the “USA” are not even smart enough to know where the COUNTRY of Canada is, because its NOT a state… The all “mighty” states is so superior, well how come it is afraid of Canada? Oooh ya, thats right, because we beat up your asses in 1812, burned your, what was then, Grey house… and wrecked washingtons dreams of conquering Canada. I won’t say any more because there is no point, you’ll just get mad and jealous, and probably wont comprehend…. Tu as est un grande retarde, baisser les etas-unis!

I don’t have anything against Canadians seriously I just wanted to set the record straight that the British burned the White House in 1814, Washington didn’t want to conquer Canada it was mostly Henry Clay and his group of Senators and Representatives called the war harks wanted to control the eastern area of Canada because they didn’t want to hurt the Canadians but wanted to take land they thought was theirs from the enemy the British. and btw quote on quote Canadians didn’t even fight in the war of 1812 at that time they were classified as British citizens and if a (Canadian) wanted to protect their land they had to join the British Army as all (Canadians) at that time were defined as British subjects. Again i don’t have anything against Canadians it’s just that I wanted to set the record straight and I think that if Amber meant this in all seriousness than she needs to be locked up in a insane asylum.

Sure, those CANADIANS look CUTE when THEY’RE YOUNG, but YOU MAY NOT BE PREPARED TO DEAL WITH AN ADULT CANADIAN!!! ESPECIALLY A BULL CANADIAN!

The CANADIAN DECEIVES us into THINKING that HE is LIKE US! He may SPEAK a LANGUAGE that is like AMERICAN, but it’s NOT!!! He’ll say some JIBBER-WORDS like “ABOOT”,”MACKINAW”, or “TOBOGGAN” which will GIVE HIM AWAY! DON’T let him CORRUPT your GOD-GIVEN AMERICAN LANGUAGE!

If YOU are not CAREFUL, he’ll LEAD YOU INTO A LIFE OF SOCIALISM, SIN, and the HORRORS of the METRIC SYSTEM!

I figure this article has to be a joke? Is this site about making Christians look crazy? I’m not Christian but come on now let’s not make them look any worse than the nut job evangelical fundamentalists. God help those people cause if they are right holy shit are they ever going to get an ear full from the lord when they die. But I guess a good lord would not descriminate against the retarded.

OMG are you fucking retarded. First of all fag for brains, for the las 20 years china has been trying to hackaway at our american language and keeping our children as slaves and meat for the winter….if we dont fight back by chaining ups some canadians we might as well just bend over and let old jesus H christ shove that big crucifix up our ass.
dont fogert while hes doing it jesus will jizz on ur face cause he’s 50% god jizz is able to fly into ur face and down ur throat….btw dont tell him he has a small penis, he gets it from his dad

American is not English dipshit, you fuckers can’t spell. It has similarities but it’s not English. Seriously though If you consider Mancunian, English you need your head read. There are only two countries that actually speak proper English and even the sheep shaggers in Australia fuck it up a little. Viva South Africa.

Oh God! Its so good! I thought Canadians had a sense of humor? How dumb are these people? Amber, I’m desperately in love with you. You have managed to offend these people far beyond reason, for that I am eternally greatful. Even if you’re a man I would like to somehow have your children.

It may be a joke, but how do you feel when you read “jokes” told at the expense of American values and stereotypes or about the enslavement of a fellow human being. Nobody anywhere should use slavery as a joke. It is a disgusting part of North America past that sane minded individuals are happy has ended. Using slavery as a punch line undermines severe oppression slaves endured.

Additionally, I am a Canadian, but I have lived in many countries. What this article promotes is found around the world. Canada is a thriving country with an excellent economy and an amazing democratic system. Yet these “jokes” are pervasive on the internet and in other forms of media, and they restrict Canada from gaining the respect it deserves.

Jokes may be intended to be light hearted, but when you are the subject you are never happy about it. I acknowledge that this article must be written in jest, but I still reserve my right to be grossly offended at the content and the intended or unintended propagation of negative stereotypes.

at first i thought this was a joke, but know that i think about it after reading the hate spewed from those who didn’t get the joke, maybe we should enslave a few of them. maybe theres a good idea in this. after all canada is americas hat.

So if you admit it is a jest, please explain to me why you are ranting on about it as if it weren’t.

And tell me how putting a stigma around any sort of discussion that mentions racism (you are talking about a joke here) is going to help. That’s right, it won’t, so instead of ranting on about it to people you will never meet, just chuckle and move on. That way, people like me won’t have to get involved.

My favorite thing about this article is the amazing number of people who just can’t seem to wrap their minds around the idea of satire and the hilarious reactions to the continued satirizing throughout the comments section. I always wondered if there really were true idiots like yourselves out there. Thanks for confirming my suspicions! Just a little hint for all you people getting your panties in a twist: look up Jonathan Swift. And if you still don’t get it….please leave more comments for me to laugh at. Thanks!

That Janice above is not me as everybody know. I dont swear like a sailor.

I have ben to Canada and it very nice. I like Vancouver. The sun and the water! But I don’t understand the point of this article. I don’t think you need Canadians to rake your yard there are so many good Americans without work right now in this econmy. Anyways, I think this article sort of relates to this whole point:

Janice, it’s not me. I have already explained that I am proud enough of my Adam Nelson and JaniceFun imitations that I admit to doing so. But in this case, it’s not me. So calm the fuck down, you dumb ho.

Due to multiple supply and demand laws, it’s not impossible, just more expensive

Factoid 1: Mexicans out number Canadians by more than 3 to 1, so Canadians are at least 3 times more expensive.
Factoid 2: Canada is a huge country with a small population, they are too busy roaming the great wide opens to be cooped up in your McHovel cleaning up McDonalds wrappers. x2 in costs
Factoid 3: Canadians have better Healthcare and Educational system than the old USA. They can sit around doing nothing up in Canada and still be better off than what your offering. Not many Canadians would agree to clean up after you and your uneducated and dirty messes. You should hire one to edit your poorly written articles. x3 in costs

So for about $50 per day (Mexican price) multiplied by the factoids above, you are looking at about $400 per day to own a Canadian, a price that coincidentally, most Canadians would go for. But due to Americanization of Canada you can expect them to be as self centered and whiny as you are. They will also require alot of beer and at least 3 weeks paid holidays.

So.. on the cheap… The best thing you can do in acquiring a Canadian, Amber, is come to Canada and find a hardworking Canadian man to look after you, the women there are all very cold!!

$400, beer and 3 weeks holidays that is cheap! My rates are $1000 a week, 4 bottles of wine, and 5 weeks holidays!

Gotta pay for the snowshoes when I go back to my 5 weeks holidays to Canada, need the 5 weeks because that is how long it will take me on my dog sled to get there and back and the wine, well… I can’t work as a housemaid for an American sober!!

Wow, usually us Canadians aren’t offended by this typically American BS. However, I have never in my life read such load of arrogant & inconsiderate crap. Really, I’m still wondering if this is for real or not.

Your kidding right? What are you going to pay me with, your cheap american dollar? it doesnt even have pretty colors like my money, so shut up and work for me. your country is fat, you like to consume the world and think superiority was bestowed upon you cuz some of your folks like to die in combat against seemingly stupid odds. well listen here miss, canada is a nation of “thinkers”. oh yes, we are quite skilled in that department. however, when referred to as snow-bound savages, we can get quite mad, and turn into animals, and quite possibly invade and destroy your country. not even with weapons, but with the power of logical thinking. you will see how it is the canadians who crush 2000 years of culture.

why should you be so made at america, just because we invented all the great inventions in the last 3 hundred years and saved the world from communism and hitler and terrorism. and how about all the money america makes for the rest of the world with our economy? and what does canada do? you have all that land up there and your never in the news for anything. its like a dead place. you people should be ashamed of yourself. you had all the advantges of the USA, a large white population and rich soil and all that as the USA did, but Canada amounted to nothing. your like the dimwit brother who is jealous becuase the other brother is rich and powerful and your still living back home sitting on the couch watching oprah or something. do they even have oprah in that awful country?

America is a cultural vacuum full of obese people. Say that America amounts to something now that you’re in a recession and Canada is actually closing its borders to you filthy Americans. Please, America is based on hypocrisy and violence. You drove the Native-Americans into infertile soil and raped the Africans. Now that American dollars are basically toilet paper, you’re no longer the world’s most powerful country.

What? When did Canada ever close it’s borders to Americans? I live about 30 minutes from the border…and most of the money our region makes comes from Americans. Also, the town I live in triples in size during the summer season, mostly due to all the Americans that have summer homes here.

first of all, let me say i am not racist and i found the comments to be worst then the story itself, but i do see where people are coming from, if this was a joke, should have had some lol or haha in the end maybe, u can not “own” any person, unless ofcourse u order a mail order bride, and i dont even know if you would “own” them. if this is a christian website, perhaps you should monitor the comments before allowing them to be posted? you are making the christian religion look bad, dare i say… like the catholics? haha that was a joke, see.. the haha marked it as a joke. but if the mexican workers were getting paid 50 usd a day, look at how many pesos that would be, and god only knows how old this “amber” is, could have been over 20 years ago. i do not agree at all with what was being said, but the 50 usd they were getting, to care for children and clean up. is by far a better life then they had in mexico. that is why people take advantage of these illegals today, who are they going to tell? the BBB??? ha might as well call immigration on themselvs..

but yea, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
america is, and will always be most powerful country, and if we werent, it would be a close race. that canada would not want to compete in. you may be peacful people, and whatever else good u want to say about yourselfs. but the fact of the matter is, killing them with kindness, does not cut it in a war … oh yeaaaaa USD is toilet paper? well canada dollar is 3 cents more then usd?

but seriously, dont think all americans/canadians/mexicans are as stupid as these people commenting on this site,(not all of you) but you know who you are.. i hope i did not offend anybody as that was not my goal.. WE ALL BLEED THE SAME BLOOD, AND CRY THE SAME TEARS. WE ALL HAVE PAIN

Yes, you are right you helped save the world from Hitler. However, that was only after you cowardly sat on your asses while millions of people were slaughtered. America was a war profiteer during WWII and you should not feel pride in your WWII actions, you should feel shame. While other countries were out there fighting and dying to save the rest of the world from the greatest evil ever seen, your country was sitting back making weapons and selling them to other countries to make money. If not for the attack on western soil the US would have served little valiant action in WWII. However, I am not surprised that Americans love to say that they won the war, most countries are self congratulating, America is just more so than most.

You need not feel shame for the actions of your ancestors and their cowardice and profiteering during WWII, but you should never claim pride for American actions during WWII. When Canada was struggling to get out of the depression we still did what was needed.
Good-bye

“a large white population”? Wow, talk about a racist comment for you. All I have to say is this: I am a Canadian who has moved to the US about a year ago. Obviously, Canada is still my home and Canadians are still my people. Canadians are kind, thoughtful, and polite people. We respect each other, are tolerant of all religions, races, genders, or anything else, and are a peaceful nation. You don’t see Canada landing itself into multiple wars, now do you? We are also healthier and have a society that is less about “consumerism” and more about “living, loving, and enjoying life”. America is known for being the land of the free, but I would have to disagree (from what I have personally seen). There is much segregation, racism, consumerism, and obesity here. Did you know that the population of poor in America is equal to the population of Canada? That is not something for Americans to be proud of.

Now, that said, I do enjoy living here. I have met many kind, friendly people. Americans are open and live life to its fullest (which is perhaps why many Americans have ended up with so much debt). I believe that Americans are determined people and despite all the underlying problems they have, they are “go-getters” and will find a way to get themselves out of the rut they have buried themselves in. They are determined people.

Canada and America both have good and bad. Canada does have freee healthcare for all, but it is not a healthcare system I am extremely proud of. Due to the fact that it is free, it tends to be quite a wait for you to have anything done. For example, I once broke my finger and waited 3 hours in emergency before I was seen.

Anyways, bottomline is, both of our countries are amazing places, and it’s citizens are proud of their origins. We are all equal in this world, and need to accept eachother for who we are! Now, please stop trying to be “superior”!

Firstly, you are stereotyping Americans, just as you are complaining about this article stereotyping Canadians so you are being a hypocrite. Secondly, you are insulting all those people who died in battle for something they believed in and all those families mourning the loss of a loved one. You are just proving that at least one Canadian is a DUMBASS!

Human beings are not possessions; you cannot “own” them. The correct thing to say would have been “my family was blessed to employ three house Mexicans”, or even better “three Mexican caretakers”.

“Though they did not speak much American, they still had hearts of gold”

Well it sure is a good thing that I have a heart of gold, because I don’t speak American either. In fact, I don’t know anybody who speaks American.

“At the end of the day, dad would give them a bit of money and usually some food or other nice things to take home with them.”

I certainly hope that he gave them a fair salary, not just “a bit of money”.

“There are liberals out there who are racist and hate Mexicans. They call them lazy, no good workers and have no sympathy for the way Mexico’s economy is failing them. Mexico is full of corrupt politicians who squander US aide money and ship it into their African-inspired drug cartels, and liberals create laws that make us give health-insurance to children born to Mexicans in our country, so we will have anger toward the Mexicans for using up our health care.”

Uh, last time I checked, it was you conservatives who were so adamant about closing the border.

I read the full article, and she seems to address that point quite eloquently; we need to close off the Mexican border because their people have grown too corrupt. We should start taking labor from other more peaceful people, like the Canadians. Since they aren’t contributing anything of value really to our hemisphere, I’m all for that. It’d be pretty neat.

I always thought another good alternative, and one the article did not propose,
is taking Canada for ourselves and then relocating the Canadian people to Mexico.
This way, the Canadians would be tasked with pushing the Mexicans further south to live on large reservations such as Brazil.

This would be a win win for everyone, because we’d have some extra fine land,
the Canadians would finally have a chance to distinguish themselves by doing something useful for North America, and the Mexicans would no longer have to worry about dying of dehydration or barbed-wire wounds while crossing the border.

That’s a really good idea. I’ve actually thought about how great the world would be if we just conquered it, and really wish Harry Truman would have nuked every single one of those savage Eastern European and Asian nations when we had the bomb. Western Europe would have just surrendered to us.

Now though, we’d have to wipe out quite a few countries before getting to conquer Canada in piece. It’d be easier just to tell them they can be a state and then, just invade Mexico to take the rest of our land down there. Venezuela too.

It’s pretty sad that you consider yourself to be pro-life, yet you condone the total obliteration of millions of people, simply so that we can conquer their land. You are a threat to humanity, Adam, and I believe it would be in the best interest of the world if you were exterminated immediately.

good fucking luck. You’re military is yet to beat us in the annual NATO exercise in Cold Lake. Our regular officers are as well trained as your Rangers. I’m gonna go pray to Ull’r to snow your asses in

Excuse me!!! What makes you think that Canadians would want to give up our land. We rightfully own that land and got it before you. I think that is a stupid uneducated idea that proves that you Americans are self centered and only care about yourselves. It’s not only Canadians that you are driving out, you are driving out the natives, who are the actual rightful owners who also were already driven out. That is a stupid idea, and you need to think about what you say.

It seems like the Canucks are putting up a fight. That’s surprising- I thought they only fought in hockey games, when superior American teams destroy their pee-wee teams.

The best thing about this site is the comments section. I love that people get so angry about it and can’t quite figure out that this is satire. Of course, we wouldn’t expect a Canadian to understand that, eh?

realy? how much? not for the whole bunch, just a couple. they can be hockey players as long as they got at least one tooth. (i’ll need it when mi slaves holden my knitting yarn.) i’m waiting for your quote…

Canada on strike!
Canada on Strike!
Canada!
Canada!
Canada!
Canada!
Canada on strike!
Canada says “no more!”
No more neglect! We want respect! That’s what we’re striking for!
All you bureaucrats and corporate cats can all just take a hike!
It’s Canada on strike!

Canada on strike!
From Vancouver to St. John’s,
We raise our middle fingers up for you all to sit upon!
And with our fingers up your ass you won’t be very psyched!
It’s Canada on strike!

And we will not bow or budge.
Our resolve is strong.
We even took three hours to rehearse this striking song!

Canada on strike!
No matter where you are!
If you are Canadian, than you’ve got do your part!
March out from the halls!
That’s right, suck my Canadian balls!
It’s Canada on strike!
It’s Canada on Strike!
It’s Canada on Strike!
It’s Canada
On Strike!

Canada tried to go on strike once in Southpark.
Don’t any of you guys read your history??

And they all ended up nearly dying, with the fine people of Denmark coming over to try to take their place.
Finally the situation was solved when children convinced us to give them a little bit of gum and some coupons to make them think like the strike was meaningful.

Wow. And people wonder why I’m not a Christian.. O.o You speaking of “owning” PEOPLE, actual human beings, like you would speak of owning a parakeet or some other small annoying animal. How patronizing that a human life doesn’t mean more to you than that. You probably believe in bigamy, too.

Are you seriously sick in the head? You fucking disgust me…. please PLEASE tell me this is a hilarious practical joke because I have never heard anything so idiotic and ignorant in my WHOLE life. You need to check yourself into a mental institution and get some help. really ok. I don’t know how you have survived in society without being beaten to death for your stupidity. I pray for you and I hope God has mercy on your pitiful soul.

LOL!!!!!!! I can’t really believe how many of you seem to miss how unmistakably satirical this article is. Try googling “Why Can’t I Own A Canadian?” I hope you guys are all just kidding as well and I’m missing that, because if not… hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha owned.

1) is it satire, because, if it is, then i think it’s really quite a good one. if it is, disregard the following.
2) most americans are stupid.
3)i’m english, and i’ve never heard of “american” i don’t know anyone who can speak it.
4) the british healthcare and education system must be better than yours, because i am fifteen, have never had an illness or injury that hasnt been treated, and i can explain all this in a succint and lucid fashion without any spelling mistakes or nonsensical wittering.
5) if you have a problem, my e-mail address is: jakemoore1994@live.co.uk

1) Yes, duckie, it is satire. And I will not disregard your further notes, as most of them were very rude.

2) By not realizing this is satire, you contradict your own stupidity argument. Thank you for being ignorant and ironic!

3) Again, see above: satire.

4) On the healthcare system: I am sixteen and, as an American, have never had an illness or injury that has not been treated, so therefore I trump your argument by a year. On education: I doubt the value of your education as well as your ability to “explain in a succint and lucid fashion without any spelling mistakes”, especially as in that very statement you made a spelling error–it’s “succinct”, not “succint”. In addition, your post was riddled with grammatical errors and you seem to have discarded capitalization altogether. So please, darling, drop the superior air…it doesn’t work for you.

4) Sorry if I seem rude, but I really am tired of the America-hating. My best friend is a Canadian, and she is the one who directed me to this article because she found it hilarious. As an American, I can say that almost every generalization made on these comments is untrue (and, for the record, neither I nor anyone in my family is obese…in fact, there is probably one kid who is obese in my highschool of 1,000).

yes, it has the key characteristics of satire, but it just doesn’t have the spirit. Usually satires are written by intelligent and literate people who are trying to make a point, where the presentation is logical but the argument is ridiculous. This leads me to believe that it was written by a shitty writer that tried and failed at writing convincing satire, or a moron who sincerely believes everything they wrote. Either way, it’s crap. So don’t get so worked up over it.

What do you mean? She does make a point.
The author is representing the flawed beliefs that the media would lead one to hold towards Mexicans. Sarcasm is hard to tell on the internet, yes, but in this article it is very obvious. Her “argument” is basically to go back to the “good ‘ol days of slavery”, which can be nothing less than satire–and her flawed-logic presentation is amusing. If we can’t have Mexicans, then why not Canadians? And to call Canadians “snowbound savages”?
This is very clearly a joke. I thought it was hilarious, as did my Canadian friend.
But it wasn’t the satire argument I was “getting worked up over.” The previous poster insulted me, my family, and everyone I know. Making generalizations of “americans are stupid” is very ignorant and unacceptable, and I called her out on it. I have every right to be offended by that, so there is no need to be condescending.

So, first off, I didn’t say anything about your post specifically, besides arguing it’s either not satire or it’s badly written satire (but if you enjoy it, good for you). so, if “it wasn’t the satire argument (you were) getting worked up over”, why are you flipping out about me suggesting it’s possibly not satire?

Some of you internet folks are so angry, you’ll find some angle that allows you to act hurt, indignant, or self righteous. Cuz, if you’d bother to read the text before attacking it you’d notice I was saying the article is crap, not your response to the snobby brit (which I found amusing). But now that you mention it….

1)see previous post

2) many Americans are stupid. blame it on lead poisoning, inbreeding, close mindedness, or poor education, but this is a commonly help idea. These problems exist elsewhere, but for some reason Americans are the ones who get picked on the most (could have something to do with the redneck population). Possibly in fact because there are some people in America who are still OK with slavery.

3) People describe their language as “American” because they’re either stupid, or trying too hard to sound stupid (this makes for bad satire)

4) I’m so glad you’re healthy! It probably has something to do with how your parents can afford to take you to the doctor. Maybe they even used they’re hard earned money to make sure you grew up somewhere with good schools, where you learned to read and write like a pro (though, your should work on your comprehension). Many children in America aren’t so lucky, that’s why so many people on here can’t spell (someone one here even spelled illiterate wrong. i don’t think they meant to be ironic either). But at least American schools teach the same self-righteousness and arrogance as Jake’s school in Britain.

4)Why are there two 4′s?! I’m so confused. Anyway, good thing you’re family’s not obese. Neither is mine. Again, this probably has to do with the fact that we can both afford fresh vegetables. As for everyone below the poverty line (and right now, there’s a lot of people), all they can afford is things of the dollar menu at McDonald. When someone says Americans are fat, it’s a fact not an opinion. A study in Texas showed that 42% of 4th graders were overweight (this doesn’t just mean pudgy, it means nearing unhealthy levels). Weight-wise, we’re way above the world-wide average.

5) I think Jake’s just lonely, which is why he tries to get a rise out of people and even leaves his email. He just wants someone to talk to. You’re both so angry. You should email him and become bestest friends! Then you can get married, and have healthy, non-obese, grammatically correct, babies! You’ll have to teach them the arrogance and defensiveness though, I don’t think that’s genetic.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!
I really and truly hope that this article is a joke, because even if it’s not intended to be a joke, it still is one. Honestly? Is that what Christians in America think or is it just this nutjob? You CANNOT OWN people. Sorry, isn’t going to happen. I quite honestly am disgusted by this, and think that the author of this article is in need of psychiatric evaluation as well as anyone who agrees with her.

OMG! Please tell me your not serious! I’m 15 years old and I can clearly see that there is so much wrong with this article! How can you own a fellow human being? Would you liked to be ‘owned’ simply because someone had more money than you? And why do you think your so damn good just because your American? Please have a think about these things then try writing a fair politically correct artcle than considers the feelings of other people!

i am so embarrassed to be canadian after seeing this. I thought this article was hilarious but it was even better when i scrolled down to the comments and everyone is offended. also, when you’re calling someone retarded try and spell it right…..it kind of makes you look like a complete dumbass…..good joke whoever did this, i forgot your name

wtf is this. this is the reason most of this world hates America. Cause they think they’re totally awesome and can kick everyone’s ass, and think everyone else is less important then them, and go around being the police/bully of the world. Well how about Vietnam u idiots!! U lost! Then u supplied terrorists with weapons in the Soviet Afghan war, and now ur ass and ur allies (yes u idiots somehow have allies) are getting ur asses killed with ur own weapons!!!!!!!!!!

“What a ignorant article. This just proves why Americans are not respected as people.”

Is it just me, or is it ironic that people say something about how stupid Americans are for thinking they’re better than the rest of the world and then they follow up with something about why they’re better? Mello, you’re doing the exact same thing you accuse delusional Americans of doing.

As if a Canadian never wrote or said anything ignorant or conceited? Perhaps judging an entire country based on a specific sect of thought would fall under that category. Or, maybe, missing the point that this was a complete satire would qualify? And, reality check, Canadians aren’t exactly at a low in the obesity ratings, and not all American’s are fat, rude and ignorant. Joking about cultural differences is one thing––judging is another thing completely. Others who assume that their countries are more cultured and educated than others might be right in some cases, but I can guarantee you that idiots and thieves exist wherever you go. So maybe you should get over yourselves. I’m not always proud of the things America does/has done, but don’t lump people into one category if you don’t want the same done to you.

Who would want to own a Canadian? I’d rather own a black instead, at least they’re actually worth something.

Canadians are indeed the niggers of the white race, useless, pansy ass, weak little piss ants who’ve never contributed anything to this society in any part or whole. Why we continue to allow that half of OUR continent to go to waste under the so called rule of those cretins is beyond me. The U.S. really should do something about that, we should reclaim all that space and put it to better use other than something than the landfill it’s become.

And what’s the old saying, jealousy gets you nowhere? Time to face the fact that U.S.A is number one and always will be and if any of you draw a breath each morning it’s thanks due in part to the blanket of protection we provide. Now we could just as easily eradicate your impoverished, pathetic, sorry little excuse for a county past the point of oblivion with just the press of a few buttons if we really wanted to but seeing as how we seem to be the only true nation on the face of this continent with citizens that actually possess courage we’ve obviously have better things to do with our time fighting all the battles and conflicts that you and your so called nation are too frightened to get involved in. Somebody had to step up and make this part of the world safe for democracy because you sure as hell couldn’t do it.

Canada never has to worry about terrorism because you aren’t perceived as a threat to terrorist, your ugly little land mass has no value whether it be intrinsic, military or otherwise. However even if a terrorist attack were to occur chances are it would never come to fruition due to the fact that once the terrorist saw the RCMP and Dudley fucking Do-Right on his horse they would probably laugh themselves to death thus ending the threat.

Out of all the nations on the face of this planet yours is the most laughable and is possibly the subject of more ridicule second only to France. If the U.S. and Iran do share one common ground it’s that both sides probably know some really good Canadian jokes. I see now why the French take up residence there, a home away from home and surrounded by pussies just like them. You probably stink like them too.

I’ve wasted enough of my time and hopefully at least one of you can read so in closing I would suggest you learn to start being a little more thankful not to mention respectful. There’s going to come a time when talk is through and our patience is at an end.

Good point, Scott. They’d probably try and push their commie healthcare on us even more than Hussein is. As we know, the dirty mexicans don’t have any values, so that is definitely a positive to owning one of them over a canadian.

bad idea. I owned a few and they are lazy! Always sleeping and eatin tacos. Suckers wanted $50 a week! Each! Damn leberals got to em first I bet! Made em all into gayrods! total ripoff! Save your money for guns and fried pork rinds. Dont wasteit on lazy gay leberal mexicans!

True. It’s a sad state of affairs, ever since we lost them negroes to the Goddamn Sibil Rights movement. They were good workers. Where does one go these days to find some good, hard-working minorities to own? Lord, I miss the 1800′s.

okay first.. idk why u guys are fin around with mexicans… what in the hell did we do to you….??? one we give you bomb ass food.. two we do all the dam jobs yo u” americans” dont want to … 3 because you guys are aperently ” the best in the world” is because of all of the other countries in the dam world saving you ass…. trust me.. if it wernt for france and all the other countries, there would be no suck thing called land of the free…

Don’t forget now, as in all major empires the citizens grow fat, lazy and stupid. Just as in Rome with their vomitoriums and gladitorial games Americans too dine, then shit, dine then shit, all the while watching a homo erotic display of affection that is known as “UFC”. One guy on the mat, with his legs lovingly wrapped around his gay lover, the man on top thrusting into his lover with ease, yesss Americans have discovered that old world charm of homosexuality, is there such a thing as a straight American male?
So yes do continue having others do your chores for you, fight your wars, etc. It will be so much easier for them to take over your broke ass nation.
Isn’t it romantic?

No you didn’t, because I am descended from Viking nobility, and vikings were not in that part of the world at that time. You would although have heard about my kind from your ancestors when we ransacked your barns and ravished your women.
I prefer the rigorous debate of Classical Athens any day to the dogmatic principles of the Bible. I mean you take a book that clearly shows your god telling his flock to rampage through the desert killing innocents, and stealing women. That’s the code of conduct you follow?

A Viking, Eh? Well, THAT explains alot. Never thought I’d receive a lecture about raping, murdering and stealing from a Sea Demon. Hippocrit much? How many villages has your tribe raided and women raped in the last month?

I especially look forward to laughing in Heaven with the Cherubs, Angels, Jesus and Ronald Reagan as we watch you, boiling away in the firey lakes of Hell, as we sit back, drinking apple cider while St. Patrick plays “Amazing Grace” on his Irish Flute and we debate over how long it will take for Homowood to do a remake of that Satanic Harry Potter series so that mister John Kevin Rowling can make another trillion dollars to fund his afterlife in Hell.

Did you know that Amazing Grace was written by a slave owner??? Do you really believe slave holders would be granted entrance into Heaven??? My my you spelled “hypocrite” wrongly as well. Let us see how many women Christian husbands accused of being witches just so they could get remarried??? Now how many millions of innocent natives were slaughtered by Christian soldiers, hmmmm. If I’m correct, it was your “Christian nation” that used an atomic bomb on a completely defenseless civilian populace, how many dead there? If you care for a body count, Christian murders would stack all the way up to Heaven. What a bloody stairway to Heaven that would be.

Some of these things were actually pretty funny but most were really really offensive, i’m american and a lot of things make me not so proud to b one but i still accept it because i was born here…some people on here are so rediculously cruel and heartless that i wonder how it’s possible…this also disgraces all the christians out there who this gives a bad reputation…real christians wouldn’t put racist things on here much less ask why they can own a canadian…

As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement – and then carefully note their reaction:

“Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he’s all chippy and everything, calling me a “shit disturber” and what not. What could I say, except, “Sorry, EH!”

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they’re one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.

Of course! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. I know which “race” we can inslave next, since the wetbacks are too lazy, the blacks might not be able to return to their productive ways after returning to ownership, and the Canadians are just downright annoying!

The Japanazis and the Chinasians! We NOW there not lazy, in fact those little oompa loompas are even more productive than the blacks were before they’re fall from slavery.

I don’t no what I was thinking, except that I’m just so used to not thinking them as human (since their only like 30-40 perecent human, this was a natural oversite on my part). This solves everything!

OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE MOST IDIOTIC GROUP OF PEOPLE I’VE EVER SEEN!!!!!!! I’M AN AMERICAN AND I KNOW THIS IS NOT HOW NORMAL PEOPLE BEHAVE!!! EVERYONE WHO SAID SOMETHING RACIST NEEDS TO GO TO A MENTAL INSTITUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DANG, WTF MAN, WTF!!! WE AMERICANS NEED TO RESPECT OTHER NATIONS!!! I DON’T EVEN WANT TO SPEAK ENGLISH ANYMORE JUST BECAUSE OF YOU PEOPLE!!! ICH HASSE DICH! I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU! I HOPE YOU ALL BURN IN HELL, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC AND MOST RACIST GROUP OF PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET!

We are going to be taking back our country in 2012 when we get Sarah into the White House. We have to bring down lucifers army. That army includes, liberals, gays, pro abortionists, animal rights wackos, and environments wackos. Now you need to go pray for forgiveness.

You will ned more than 6 votes to get Palin in presidency she got less than 6 vote last time and I don’t think that EX Russian territory ALASKA governor will be governor hopefully because a civil wars will occur in USA

To the author,
Honestly, who is going to be won over with this drivel? What’s the target here? What’s the objective?
It seems like your goal is to convince the general population, in the form of readers, that ignorant individuals with radically neo-imperialistic ideals are an unpleasant inclusion in our society. Way to go! You convinced all of everyone. Wait, wait… all but the most extreme outliers in our population already thought that! Oops, looks like you accomplished nothing with this.
I’d rather not comment on the sobering fact that a large portion of readers, at least those who felt it necessary to reply, didn’t grasp this as being satire, unconcealed (and uninspired) as it was.
I almost find myself wondering, did I miss a key subtext in your post? I can nearly see it parodying the efforts of those legitimately trying to discredit values such as the ones you “expressed.” Hopefully, it is, in fact, just a light-hearted parody, having been created in good nature to poke fun at satires written in similar veins, simply for the purpose of entertainment. If this is not the case, which I sincerely do not believe it is, then it is simply another vacuous waste of text littering a forum. I’m curious if you put any more time into composing this rant than the obtuse readers you inflamed put into smashing their faces on their Caps Lock keys in reply to it.

I am Canadian and instead of owning us why not the Russians? you could probably wip them into shape, and after them go after china they reproduce like fucking rabbits so getting good hired help shouldn’t be too hard to ‘weed out’ the assholes and the ones that do not obey.

because as its been said before there are just not enough Canadians for the American population (1/10), and the Americans wont shut up about the cold so they might as well bypass us and go for the selected targets noted above.

EXCEUSE ME!?! “ALL the lesser Americas to come visit us to work as well. Canada is a country full of snow-bound savages who are good at chopping wood and light industrial tasks.” I am Canadian and we are not a ‘lesser Americas’ Canada is just as developed country as USA and a way better place to live if you ask me. Neither are we ‘snow-bound savages’. And you call yourself a Christian? I know that we should not take the speck out of our neighbors eye without taking the log out of my own, and I am not saying that I don’t have many of my own faults. But to call other human beings savages? To me, that was very insulting. We are not a poor foreign people as you say, some of us have lots of money and nice things and some of us don’t, just like in your country. It also ruffled me the wrong way that you refereed to it as ‘owning’. I don’t know how old you are, but in my lifetime USA and Canada have been slave-owning free the entire time. If somebody works for you, its called an employee. And you are their boss, but you do not own them. Like a nanny or a maid, but you do not own them, and should not say you do. Anyways, before I really begin to rant and get upset I will stop. Just wanted to let you know what I thought of your thoughts.

Hahahaha… this article is too funny. The ironic thing is that I’m a Canadian and I’m a recent MA Economics grad and was trying to Google ‘Why can’t I get a job’, and I only got to “Why can’t I’ and this came up, so I had to check it out!

Thanks for helping me with my problem; I’ve been looking on monster and workopolis, when I should have been offering myself up to my southern, skating-impaired, war-loving cousins (c’mon, I’m allowed to throw a little ribbing back aren’t I?).

Haha, this is all moderately funny…I my self am Canadian, and seeing as how anyone needing to post on here would require a computer, that not everyone is as crazy as to think this article serious. Yes I would like to capitalize on the previous points above to the irony that each calls the other ignorant about thinking themselves better then the other, and then hypocriticaly saying they live in the better country. It’s all truly a matter of opinion but I would hope to change the minds of the fanatic nationals on each side to say that both countries, and even Mexico too now that I think about it, to whom so ever lives there, is the better place. Besides Each nation has its own fundamental source of pride, and I would bid the American nationalists not to egocentrize on their military, because yes it is larger, and yes that would be the reason we don’t need an army. However you must realize that the entire population of Canada could fit into the militant sectors of the American economy, so please don’t hark on us for being pacifists. As well Canadian nationalists, stop judging the entire of the U.S. by the religious psychopaths that use this site. The people I met in Seattle were very nice people…a little bit juiced up on the starbucks on every corner but I think thats just cause it was Seattle…Free Rights for all and to all a good night!

Okay…there is a slight difference between healthy national rivalry, and the beginnings of a supreme-nationalistic war. It’s a good thing both countries politicians are to busy doing nothing to read any of this…To Ryan though point 1) Lets hope Quebec doesn’t seperate so we can keep that title, unless the U.S. is looking to trade off Alaska. Point 2)The only time we have ever been “at war” with the U.S. was sort of before Canada was a country so…I’m not saying we didn’t win but, it’s not like they lost either seeing as we STILL hold the same border. Although we may have had the Alaskan pan handle along the B.C. coast if it wasn’t for the Brits…

are you kidding me? what a stupid article! own canadians are you serious? too bad most americans are broke peices of shit that are too stupid to handle a mortgage and caused the worst recession in us history. canadians would never work for americans you are so ignorant to everything around you. canada is a much better country than america, when was the last time someone attempted and completed a terrorist attack in canada??? WWII? good try though. you are just a nother stupid american, i cant wait till you all start working for hispanics and you are their little bitches. go fuck yourself

This has to be a joke! We speak English, not American. Own “house Mexicans”? Only fifty dollars a day for their families? Immense riches? Who’s idea of a sick joke is this? I love my country, and I am a Christian. I will not apologize for that. But THIS is why other countries hate us. Who even thinks this is funny? What makes them think this is okay? ALL people are created equal. No one is better than their neighbor. God loves everyone and doesn’t give preferential treatment, which is how we should be. Salvation is a choice, not preferential treatment. To anyone who was offended by this, I hope you can forgive whoever did this and realize that not all Americans have this mindset. We aren’t any better. Some of us actually work hard and sacrifice. We aren’t all lazy, fat, self-righteous good-for-nothings who think that we’re the only ones to do any influential work. Almost ALL work is influential and importan. I say almost, because there are illegal “jobs” that people work. That’s all.

first are you southerner I guess No because its seems all the writers who put biased stupid and wrong article are from southern states in USA hopefully Northern USA are withj the rest of the world and HOPEFULLY if the southern states want to wages wars against the entire world we will have the support of the Northern states and anyway without the support of the southern states it’s easy to kick some farmer’s ass with Pitchfork who still think they are in 1600

Have you tried your own medicine? It can help to treat your ignorance.

Why can’t I own a dumb Christian American bigot? By golly if they are Christian then they are gullible enough to do slave labor. What’s more, if they are ignorant enough to embrace racist beliefs then they probably are not capable, and shouldn’t be allowed, to hold any real professional role that involves interacting with other decent human beings. Friends lets all go to the South, or any place rural where people hide in fear and ignorance, and find some extremely dumb Christians who speak in tongues, the same tongues they will use to clean our toilets.

Mmmmm tastes good doesn’t it?

This is an attempt to illustrate that humor can be offensive. Even if Amber is trying to use satire, the fact that she would perpetuate such disgusting thoughts by publishing them online, is disgusting to anybody with an ounce of intelligence and compassion.

ah! PLEASE tell me this article is a joke! this is ridiculous, Canadians are not “lesser americans”, they work a lot harder than our country does. you cannot OWN ANYONE. i am a christian and this scared me to death!

Thank you, Jordan, for (1) stating that you are a Christian and (2) understanding the danger that that letter represents. It is not a joke. At best, it is a sad statement, made in earnest, by someone from the right side of the river who was raised by people who did not know any better. At worst, it is an disingenuous piece, writing by intelligent sadists. I can’t imagine why — it is dense enough to make Christians appear wrong, but sincere enough to infect the masses with a very bad idea.
Either way, Amber needs to be told something: Owning people is a sin. It always has been. It is not an “opening your presents before Christmas” sin. It is a “Burn in Hell” sin. Here is the only path to atonement for such a sin: try to understand why it is a sin. If you committed (or, God forbid, promoted) this sin in ignorance, try to understand why it is a bad thing. If you can’t discern the good advice from the insults in response to your original posting, try posting some direct questions. Above all, be patient. With any sin, you will find a lot of hot tempers when discussing it. If you eventually do come to understand why owning people is a sin, you can help others by explaining it to them. This is the hard work that we need to do, in God’s name. It may not make us feel powerful or sexy or like we just won something, but it is what we need to do, nonetheless.
You can do it.
One last thing: Mexico is on an American continent.

canada did visit America once. We did so as a nation. Normally we don’t bring this up but I’m gonna go ahead and drop this bomb.

Do you know why the White House is white?

I’ll tell y’all. In 1812 the Colonies that would soon become Canada and The young republic of America went to war. During this conflict we razed the White House. That is we lit that bitch on fire! It was quickly repainted white to hide the damage while we marched back to Quebec. vic-fucking-torious. That’s why, to this day we are seperate countries.

Go to Westpoint and look it up. you *insert really mean and offensive expletive here*

I love this site.Even though some commenters tell you this site is satire it just goes right by.I had to stop reading the comments for a few minutes several times because my sides were hurting when I laughed so hard.Keep it coming.

Really? I came to this site by accident, but can’t resist speaking. There is a point being made in the article. It’s not anti-canadian. It’s not ugly american. It’s not better-than-mexican. It’s that the bible is hypocritical. It’s anti-christian. If you want to make an argument against the article, argue theologically. If you can’t see that maybe you should live with your momma. She could do your laundry and cook for you.

HAHA this is hillarious/terrible!! I am a canadian looking to purchase an american, prefferably one with a normal BMI, any suggestions? I can pay you guys in cheese burgers right? you might have to get used to Tim Hortons if im going to keep you relatively in shape. If you sustain any injuries shoveling snow out of my igloo driveway you can borrow my care card and instead of paying thousands of dollars you will have to wait a few hours to get fixed up…Personally i always thougt that was a good trade off but hey, i guess you cant appreciate what you don’t have. Dont worry about bringing a jacket i have plenty of those, i will even let you borrow one of my touques but only cuz im nice. PS WE TOTALLY DO GET OPRAH but we are too busy playing in the snow to watch it.

I know us canadians are so darn cute but you have to understand we would not be able to survive in th US. Why you ask? Well because not enough people speak canadian, no inebwould understand our polite ways, with out us our igloos will melt, we would never be able to get used to the fact that it only snows during winter and at someplaces no snown then, we would miss our free health care and we wouldn’t get our daily serving of moose meat. Also though we may look cudlwley we have burned down the whight house once we can do it again!!

i dont friggin care if this is a joke. Canadians are people. you dont see us wanting to make SLAVES out of americans now do you!!!! im sure america as a whole is very kind and caring and full of integrity. but clearly that is not the case for you. what is it with you that makes you dislike all other nations?? china and canada alike. There are people out amber. People who arn’t full of ignorance. LEARN SOMETHING FROM THEM.

I think that ppl from canadia deserv 2 b our workers cuz they wer the last colonie and dont deserv 2 b part of america… but they can work for us if the liek 2, i mean at least that way they can help the ppl who maid a cuntry that matters rite? this article maeks sense 2 me

Fuck all you faggots who say that the US is better than Canada Canada is better than the US in every way and we’d fucking wipe you out in a war without even breaking a sweat, our people are better our military’s better our economy’s better our women are better our environment is better all you US fucks are pieces of shit who can go suck on your nigger president’s cock

All of you who take these articles seriously and get up on your high horse and prance around on the comments section, go fuck yourself and die. This whole website is sarcastic. It’s like the Colbert Report. They’re using extreme religious and political views to actually send the opposite message. Of course if you dipshits know what the Colbert Report is I probably just blew your fucking minds because you had no idea he wasn’t actually a hardcore christian conservative. He’s in fact an actor who plays a spoof of Bill O’Reilly and the show actually has a slightly liberal lean your probably never picked up on. So basically I hate every one of you dumb motherfuckers who can’t take a joke and got offended by this. Oh, and if your super offended message was actually you being sarcastic then you got me, you clever bastard, you. One more point I just thought lf, if the people who manage this website were actually this batshit crazy do you really think they wouldn’t delete all the messages that express an idea that is different from theirs?

I just found this by typing in why and seeing what came up. 1. You cant own a canadian because you dipshit… YOU CANT OWN PEOPLE. Its against the law, and its just morally wrong. Also, im pretty shure that you are a racist bitch with absolutely no friends. We have mexican people that come to clean our house and they have never stolen anything, even cash that they find on the floor they put it on a table for us. You cant just say that an entire race is all bad. Also, you should know this, i have never met you and hopefully never will but FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU

Clearly, this site is composed and administered by idiots, who need as much attention as possible, including negative attention. We, the viewers of such a corrupt website, know that the creators are racist, unintelligent, anti-religious (observe the text), dimwitted, rude, ignorant, etc. The quantity of negative characteristics are endless! Anyways, now facing the truth about this corrupt site that we know of, we must “boycott” such a corrupt and evil site. By this, I mean, quit posting “comments”, sending questions, hatemail, etc. To do this= one less corrupt website= a more secure and suitable internet. This site does not promote proper faith and christian religion in any ways; and you, the viewers, know it. Look around this site; view the unacceptable content of the articles, and think if you want to deliver attention to these dimwits. Amber, you are an imbecile!

I am sorry for earlier. I now admit im a stupid fat ass who spends more times on my hands and knees blowing balls than i do standing up. my gramier is atroceyous and i love eating. i spend most of my tyme trolling on the internet cause no one likes me at all. when i was born my parents threw me out a window cause i was such a fucking bitch. so dont get mad at me. im just a stupid mother fucking ball blowing cat huffing stupid son of a bitch.

I would like you to know that pretty much everything you have said about canadian’s is sooooo bullshit. I can’t belive that you would even think down about your northern neighbours. YOU ARE A stupid american who only can think about yourself. you should realize that those mexicans who cleaned your house are 10 times the humans you americans are. WHY CAN”T I OWN AN AMERICAN???? BECUASE YOU WORTHLESS FAT PIECES OF SHIT. I WOULD NOT OWN AND AMERICAN IF YOU GAVE ME ONE FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAZY FAT SACKS OF SHIT.

Um….guys…there’s a little thing called satire that you may have learned in junior level English. This is a good example of it. While I know that not all, for lack of a better term, religious people are closed-minded to the point of arrogance, some are and they make a bad name for everyone else. Practice your Faith, shut up and leave the rest of us alone.

OH and more thing….. DId u realize that Obama, “the worlds leader” IS BLACK YOU DUMM ASS BITCH!! adn now because of african americans, “black” people, ahah americans are now scared of them!!!! hahah nice job with the slavery thing!! thats what you called in pinche marricon

You say that the liberals are racist, but did you ever stop and think “Hmm, maybe this whole fucking thing is racist to Mexicans and Canadians” You can’t own someone, dipshit. You write this like you think you are superior to other nationalities. I try to accept other people’s religions but you’re making it REALLY hard for everyone. Suck a dick.

Owning people is not as cute and handy as you think. It’s actually more commonly referred to as “slavery”. And as I recall, it’s frowned upon by civilization.
And by the way, Canada’s economy is in much better shape than ours. I think the better option here is for Americans to go and sell themselves to Canada so they can afford simple things, like healthcare.
Maybe if your family hadn’t “bought” those Mexican laborers, you might have been able to afford grammar lessons.

You are fucking retarted. First of all who in the right mind would even speak about people that way, dumbass ignorant people like you are the reason we dont have wise people in the U.S. You live so far up your ass that you dont open you eyes to see things the way they are, wake up asshole and see the other side. How many “mexicans” are not being successful out there, taking prolly you opportunity to do something in life; this people are determined and eventually will be granted and awarded their hard work. Everyone always speaks about the bad things of the situation but they dont take the time to analyze and wisely think about the situation in which our country is in. If it wasnt for “mexicans” our economy would be diminished, the beauty of the diverstiy of our country would mean nothing; and we would be surrounded by dumbass ignorant people like you, who post bull shit on the internet. Wake up loser, with this kind of stupidity; you wont get anywhere.

Hmmm … I wonder why the world hates Americans. “…gave them really money” … wow, you people are brilliant. This article certainly confirms what Canadians have always known: the American education system is equaled only by its economy. By the way, Canadian Unemployment: 8.5%, US Unemployment: 9%. You’re the jobless, dumbass.

At least you’re a devout Christian so I’ve no need to tell you to shove it up your ass – your priest has taken care of that already. Cheers!

amazing how many here don’t know that this article is obvious satire…..

not that I find it all that interesting or good, but it is a satire of fundamentalist Christianity and the fact that in the “Old” Testament there is an approval of slavery *if* slaves are taken from a neighboring nation…..

I don’t think there’s actually anyone in N. America who believes that nowadays – can’t speak to all of the world….

so all of the people here ranting and raving against a satirical piece are the ones who look rather silly

even if it’s satire it’s can hurt someone else even on the net thats a Big problem

I know freedom of speech is Important and Nice but there is also a Limit about this freedom of speech

there is thing we should not say and other thing we can say that the problem with Most american these day those people think they are superior to every nation on this earth because they with their war with most of their ALLY without their ALLY USA are nothing Much than any other country

Nobody asked them to be defender or guardian of the earth they get it into their ego their condemn communism when a communism country can’t exist ( it’s an ideology like capitalism by the way)

Most american doesn’t know what is the real meaning of communism or socialism most of them doesn’t care but still continue to condemn this point of view

for me communism is simply helping each other in need simple as that I know it’s has a Bigger meaning but this is the basis the communication between everyone will you help your neighbour if he asked your help ?

most american condemn china for being a totalitarian government when what I see there people should record every citizen or spy on everyone private life it’s what most of american are scared of ? being spy on private life ? in China they didn’t have that they have law against that as well they have law also against Thievery so don,t come said : people can come and take everything they want It’s not true they have Money they need to paid for everything they have

a communism regime doesn’t have Money in it what i said is Just stop being ignorant and stupid most of the “didactor” in history like saddam hussein wanted to be free of USA oppression everyone Know that but eveyon shut their mouth

even In Japan the Japanese people are tired of the “invasion of USA” inside their territory they have More american bases than they have Japanese bases

Your religion like every western religion Including Muslim just bring hates and violence and racism to everyone it’s why the world is In chaos, but everyone is afraid to stand against the oppresor either american or alquaida everyone are scared that they might get Killed

Last time china went at wars was in cold wars but it’s USA who declared war to force them to apply CAPITALISM in their society but you see

It’s why everyone hates american they become too Much egocentric they think they are the best when all alone I won’t even bet a Penny to their victory

So next time people before syaing you are the best country in the world think about what other people outside of your country think about you

I’m canadian and I know my country is Not the best its has is mistake but it’s my country also and I love every country who is friendly, not from Biased media or Biased american or Biased whatever you name it

and for Mr Adam nelson You won,t be able to use “nuclear missile” anyway because it’s might destroy yourself in the same time

and seriously I think we should dismantle every missile we have in this planet and we should stop all those stupid wars, most of them were declared by america since 1950

Hippie. I do agree with the dismantling missiles, but only every nation but America. We have a right to have missiles and especially nuclear weapons, so we invented both. Other countries stole our patented technology and by all rights should be held accountable.

getting a bit powerhungry are we?
first of america have no more right to these wepons than anyone else. they were not invnted exclusively by americans either for that matter and no you don’t have apatent on the shit.
second if there was only one country with nuclear weapons that country would be far too powerful. the way nuclear missiles perserve peace is by the fact that so many have that all would have to agree before anyone could be fired because if not somebody would start fireing back. and before you say that america have th right to decide where to bomb. what if someday the rest of the world decide for some reason america is the threath that needs to be destoryed? what would we do if only america had those wepons? and in a world where only america have nuclear wepons…thats not too unrealistic.

Did you suffer from a stroke? Why do you write like that? There is no limit to free speech. Thats what makes it free speech you dipshit. This ISN’T a news site. This ISN’T a political opinions site. This IS A JOKE. You fucking clown. Every article on this sight is a joke. If it offends you, go somewhere. Do you think you’re fighting the good fight? If canada is so awesome, how come so many canadians on here are so damn sensitive about being made fun of? Obviously ashamed of something. Or maybe you’re all just as stupid as us Americans. Good god, have a little fun. Thats what the authors of these articles are doing. They’re getting you riled up to laugh at your responses. Have you seriously not figured this out? You and jazze got a serious case of bitch eye goin.

This person obviously has no mind, you cannot own a person. We are not objects, just because we are not from your country does not mean we are monkeys who will obey your every desire. Also, what really got me upset about the stupidity of this article is; “Owning poor foreign people is a great experience that every family should have.” Who in their right mind told you that all Canadians were poor? Maybe me specifically might be in that situation right now, but it is because my parents are going through a divorce. Not all Canadians are poor, and neither are Mexicans. I have Mexican friends and they aren’t desperate for money. And lastly, why can’t your parents take care of you theirselves? They don’t have to get specifically Mexicans to take care of you, and you don’t need to get Mexicans to slave down for your children. Stop being so sterotypical!

Have you tried your own medicine? It can help to treat your ignorance.

Why can’t I own a dumb Christian American bigot? By golly if they are Christian then they are gullible enough to do slave labor. What’s more, if they are ignorant enough to embrace racist beliefs then they probably are not capable, and shouldn’t be allowed, to hold any real professional role that involves interacting with other decent human beings. Friends lets all go to the South, or any place rural where people hide in fear and ignorance, and find some extremely dumb Christians who speak in tongues, the same tongues they will use to clean our toilets.

OMG, all you people all offended and taking this satire seriously are dumb as a box of hammers! Those of you who are all outraged are a sad example of how stupid it is possible to be! This artical is a spin-off of a well known letter to Dr. Laura, who cites Leviticus as why homosexuallity is wrong. The letter asks a dozen or so satirical , biblical questions about stoning farmers who plant more than 2 crops in one field, people who wear more than one kind of fiber in cloth , etc – all of which are forbidden in the old testiment. http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

When your kids get home they can watch me finish up raping your ass, then I’ll fuck them and impregnate your daughter. Once that’s over with I’ll give it to your husband before I cut you all and steal your shit to take back with me to my igloo in Canada.

well first of all im not fat not all americans are fat thats a stereotype like all british people have bad teeth and if any one on here wants to argue about this fn retarded post message on myspace (jayce P) alright so im not actually that mad about this but, im technically american im not fat in fact i live 10 minutes from the canadian border so i am basically the stereotypical canadian i say eh and aboot and any other “not smart” words and for that guy im not sure who but they said canadas north well to tell you the fucking truth where i live i can north or south to get to canada ya dumbass. Im not gonna tell where i live but if you look at a map of minnesota youll easily figure out where i live and also who really cares if were ( americans) are full of ourselves it just means we have more self confidence bitch….

I am so confused,I thought this was a website about chirst and shit! Yet all you pointy noised fucktarts are swearing like saliors! I searched “why” on google and got this shit. Fucking its not right to own a Canadian, conserding that they can:

1. Think for themselves
2. Speak our Langauge
3. Run faster than use since were “ugly” Americans
4. The women are hot, but honselty just goto Toronto for women. *cough cough* hookers
5. Too expenivse, IE number 4
6. The canadains dump shit on and in our land/lakes. Why would we want them if all they know how to do is dump shit?
7. They can only bitch and play hockey.
8. You can get away with killing a Mexican easier than a Canadain.
9. People care about Canadains.
10. Nobody cares about Mexicans.

I think we should conquest Africa. All they do is sit around and fuck monkeys all day(thats how aids got started.)what are they gonna do about it. shoot blow darts at us? weve already trained a large batch of them, and weve found thier weakness, grapes, chicken, and white women. I say we drop a bomb with colonel sanders face on it and let it detonate in 5 days. by then theyll all have flocke to the crash site. by the way, when the govenment does this i want to be paid in sandwiches

uh i have another great idia. why don’t all the rest of us band together to nuke USA of the face of the earth seeing as aparently americans at best want to make us slaves and most likly just wanna kill us. we’d be much better of with them all dead right? by the way if you didn’t notice guys…this is what you are saying about us over and over and over again. if you have the right to wanna do that to us…then we have the right to want it to happen to you as well. now fucking go die in a freaking fire(this is meant at whoever suport in any way the ideals of any of the jerk offs of this site and nobody else)

i don’t know what scares me the most. the fact that you think that you millitary budget can some how save you in the case of a nuclear war. the fact you think you singled handley won WWII. the fact that you saw my atepmt to show you what you do to us on a daily basis as serious threath to kill every american. or you actually belive that any “all loveing god” would EVER give ANYONE the ability to kill another human being. you god is the god of death pain and destruction.

“Friends, let us vote the liberals out of office. They are against NAFTA and a super-highway that will connect us in special Christian harmony.”

Are you kidding me? Get this Christian crap out of your head. They are creating a North American Union so that down the line they can merge the 4 Unions of the world into one Global Governing Super Power.

NAFTA is terrible, and the super-highway is only being built to destroy national sovereignty. How is it that your founding fathers and your constitution are so important to you, yet you’re so willing to give up your sovereignty? American’s fucking amaze me. But I guess it’s not your fault. Your government has been lowering your education budgets for so long that you have an entire country full of illiteracy, too ignorant to make good decisions.

Don’t live your whole life around God. Because there’s a bigger picture happening right in front of your eyes. And if you don’t help to stop it from happening, your children, and there children will be forced into slavery by the new ruling powers.

Do yourself a favour. Look into the Bilderberg Group. This is not a Liberal vs. Conservative debate. This is a war between the people and the corporate elitists. Get the corporations out of power! Get the banks out of power! Get your country back into the mindset of being a true, proud American. Seek truth, and it will set you free.

This article seems to be either a very poor satire, or an article which some crazy person came up with since they thought that they had a great idea to solve one of America’s problems. I hate everything this article implies, owning other humans, how canadians should be slaves, and how it makes americans look like total assholes and idiots. The amount of hate this article is generating is outrageous. This article is clearly moronic, whether it’s a satire or not. We people shouldn’t be fighting over stupid things like this, but be working together to solve the world’s more pressing problems and advance our society and race as a whole.

Also, keep in mind that this article was written over the internet, so the author could be any nobody who lives anywhere around the world. Hell, it could have even been a canadian who wrote this, or an american, european, or asian.

Well, God bless the world, and this website is stupid for harboring this and other shit like it.

I find this all very funny because the only Americans being talked about are the ones who are ignorant and overweight, however this is only a small group of Americans. A country is often viewed by analyzing the worst of its population and that is sad. America is full of great people who are, in fact, quite intelligent. Sure there are problems with this nation, but every nation does as well. America just happens to effect the rest of the world. And, unfortunately, by being an American I am immediately thought of as being fat and stupid. I am not.

On the subject of the actual article, it is ridiculous unless viewed as being sarcastic. The author represents the said low end of the American population and somehow can still have these views while not still being in 1700.

This seems like a good place to advertise my new business, Slaves-R-Us.

You may have seen our ads on FOX with spokesman Vince from Sham-WOW. Here at Slaves-R-Us we cut out the middle man so that we can pass the savings on to YOU. We offer thousands of slaves several dumb countries around the world. Select and customize your own slave with several unique options and personalized features. We regularly beat all our foreigners until they can speak proper American, free from those funny accents. So dont just go to those big name slave traders like Slave-Nation, because they totally suck.

For a limited time only, buy one Canadian (with authentic maple syrup smelled hugs option) and receive another Canadian (of equal or lesser value) FOR FREE!
That’s right FREE, and we wont stop there. We’ll even throw in some high voltage shock collars as well, so your slaves will have NO chance of escape.

Order your own personalized slave today. Just visit our website.

Remember with Slaves-R-Us we make slavery fun for everyone (except the slaves)

I am sorry, TBoneTom, but I do not see your connection with Amber’s idea and Slavery. If someone is being paid, it is not slavery, my friend. As well, if one is not being held against one’s will, it is not slavery. That is like saying going into McDonalds, submitting an application, getting hired and paid every other week is also slavery. You always have a choice, TBoneTom, unless of course you are a slave, then you have none. But as long as you do have a choice, no one is confining you in chains. Work is work, and serving is serving, and I in no way consider myself to be a slave to God, even though he does not pay me in money. Does every form of payment need to be money, though? Some information is priceless. If I would have known better at that age, I would have given our mexicans a bible as permanent payment, and that would have been better than a pile of gold.

Think about these things, TBoneTom. It is very much common knowledge. God Bless.

Living as I currently do in England, the so-called ’51st State Of The USA’ by the delusional liberal media of this fair isle, I do not really have the desire to own a Canadian.

Indeed, I have met one or two charming Canadians on my pilgrimages to the heartlands of American Christian Conservatism and found them generally to be affable and even quite interesting individuals, though I usually found my mind wandering as they discuss their dubiously left-leaning politics and lapse into the questionable useage of the French language.

I have not, as yet, met a Mexican, refusing as I do to set foot within the Satanic State Of Californication. Though I have to admit, my close friend Anna L did once spend some time with a lascivious young woman from Tijuana, but that was before she met me and I showed her the Light of The Lord, so the less said about her the better.

I suppose the closest I could get to having an opinion on the matter being discussed is in relation to the young lady from Eastern Europe who I currently employ as a cleaner of my Kensington apartment. She is such an efficient and hard-working individual who has probably endured the worst that Athiest Communism has inflicted on her people, coming as she does from recently liberated Belgravia or somewhere. She seems to genuinely enjoy her work as she always enters and leaves the apartment with a serious smile fixed firmly upon her face, though I guess she would after receiving £10 for only 5 hours cleaning duties.

So committed is she to her work though, she nearly always refuses my offer of a shoulder massage to help soothe away her aches and pains after spending all morning bending over the water closet or up the step ladder that I encourage her to climb so she can dust the farthest reaches of the ceiling, stretching her athletic young limbs to reach the most difficult corners.

She does wear very short skirts though, and I have meant to have words with her regarding this, as several times I have caught sight of her undergarments and feel that her lack of self-respect may be taken advantage of by an unscrupulous man with wandering eyes and hands. You hear of such things happening, and a young lady has to be careful, especially in today’s Godless times of un-Christian immorality.

Anyway, as I stated in my opening paragraph, I have no desire to own a Canadian. Though it might be a pleasant change to have a young French girl to attend to my domestic needs at some point.

Calm down everyone. This bitch amber is just a racist. I am American and a christian and still don’t believe this bullshit. Not all americans agree with her. Just a few racist groups. I think half of this shit is just bored people joking around. Don’t attack the U.S. as a whole. there are good AND bad people from every country, religion, and ethnic group. But Canada, if you really wanna settle this, just wait and see who wins the gold medal in hockey tomorow BITCHES!!!

Oh, I see, so it’s okay for you to say that if you were god you would cast the bubonic plague upon all of Haiti, but it’s not okay for someone else to call Amber a bitch. Yeah, that makes lots of sense…

Haiti is a nation of anonymous heathens that practice voodoo, Amber is a sweet, loving woman of the Lord who practices bringing souls to Christ for eternal life. I’d save Amber’s life before a boatload of any savage, murdering toners.

then explain why we on this site have proof of amber being a hateful person who wishes others pain. the haitians have done nothing but you asume they have. your exsistance is proof there is no god. if he exsisted you’d be struck down multiple times by now.

Bullshit. Anonymous heathens that practice voodoo? They’re PEOPLE, you compassionless bastard. Individuals with lives and families, not a faceless group of emotionless zombies. You really are fucking dead inside aren’t you?

Yeah, you don’t know them. Is that what makes it okay? Not knowing? Of course not, you sociopathic Neo-Nazi.

No, they’re a nation of human beings who are trying their hardest to survive.

“I’d save Amber’s life before a boatload of any savage, murdering toners.”

What evidence do you have that every single Haitian is a savage, murdering voodoo-practicer? Cambridge has a large Haitian population, and every single Haitian that I know is a practicing Christian, an honest person who works hard to feed their family. In the words of Spock, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one”, therefore, I would save a boatload of Haitians before saving yours or Amber’s lives. In fact, since you have a thirst for blood and would give Haitians the bubonic plague, you need to be eliminated from the face of the earth.

That was a beautiful wonderful message, Amber. I completely agree. Although we only had 2 mexicans growing up, they were indeed very faithful, friendly and above all else, Godly. We were not wealthy growing up, so we could only afford to give our mexicans $15 daily, but the amazing thing about God’s work is that they were thrilled to get that much. It was as if they were winning the daily Lotto, which would be a major sin, of course.

Seeing their eyes light up when my dad would give them those three five dollar bills to split between the two of them was one of the highlights of my childhood, Amber. Sometimes they would be so thrilled that they would give us chiclets to chew on. What a wonderful couple of children, they were. Once they turned 10 they were deported for apparently being illegal. I had no idea, but after that my chores got much more heavier.

Canadians would be wonderful workers! They need to learn some civility from us and stop growling like northern bears. Their Satanic sport of hokey is about as brutal and barbaric as one can be on ice. I will do everything in my power to support your ideas, Amber. You truly are one of God’s miracles. Thank you!

After I open my practice in California, I think I’m going to be 2 or 3 of the female ones to keep my office clean in the after-hours and also to spiff my house once or twice a week. I’ve always found male Mexicans to not be worth the buck though. When you hire a group of more than 3 of them to do yardwork for instance, they’ll just stand around with their mouths open and peek at young, women who walk by, pointing at them with puckered lips.

Dude. Seriously. You CANT own ANYONE. That would be something called SLAVERY and if you could own other people, then everything that Abraham Lincoln did to abolish slavery would have been WASTED. And Canadians ARENT SAVAGES. Would savages be able to host a spectacular event like the Olympics? I don’t think so.

Okay, after I read this article I felt horrorized by the piece of sh*t you wrote. And I have a few things to say:
First you can’t own anyone, that would be slavery.
Second after I read most of the comments I noticed almost no one stood up for mexicans, and I speak as a latin american myself WHY THE HELL DO YOU GIVE US THE STEREOTYPE OF HOUSE MAIDS, STEALERS, DRUG DEALERS etc.??!! Do you actually think 50 dollars is a well paid salary? For crying outloud if your’e maids didn’t complain is because they probably had more values than you do and besides do you even know the injustices happening in south america? Yeah, some people do steal and are drug dealers, but does that make us all stealers and drug dealers? And what really bothers me is that you people mistake me for a f*cking american. Do you think you’re the only ones who speak english on this earth or are the only ones with a right to a high quality education or well payed jobs? I believe the great variety of people on this earth Canadians, Mexicans, South Americans, Africans, Asians, Europeans etc. are better than people like you,.
So go get a Mcdonald’s hamburger and keep your f*cking racism to yourself.

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!?!?!? are you stupid? im a latin american living in canada..
if you know were that is …there is so many things wrong with this!!…first of all why would you post this on a
christian site? you just ruined the site..secondly not all hispanics are maids, gardeners and gangsters..in fact the united states
probably has as much american drug dealers and gangster as mexico…probably even more!..Mexico also has the biggest city in
the world and its well advanced…and canada is better then the united states..it is actually superior(i Know because ive been in both)..
we have free healthcare, jobs, our cops arent
corrupt, where not hated by the world, and much much more!..your the type of people who give americans a bad name..
your the reason why the world hates the united states. You are so ignorent and blinded by your stupidity
You need to visit reality..

OK well I’m American and I’m offended to be from the same nation as this dumb ass you cant own people its wrong and Canadians are jest as civilized as us if not more oh and to some dumb ass that commented Mexicans have Internet to you act like were the only civilized country some countries are jest different than us not uncivilized you fucktards

Most Americans are fat, dumb, arrogant, ignorant, and lazy. Clean your own fucking house you sloppy fuck. The Canadian currency is currently more valuable than the US dollar… Lesser America?? Your illusions of grandeur extend so far past reality that clearly you live in a fantasy world with your fantasy religion and retarded family. You serve no purpose to society. Shameful.

WOW, I absolutely agree! Yet i must say I myself am pretty much fat, but i do do house work. owning someone is compleetely messed up. And to everyone else on this website who comented, you the all are retarded. sure this person has different views then you, that doesnt make them stupid it makes them arrogant. i really honestly do feel sorry for this person. personally i love all races, i think they all bring spice to the world lol!

….to my previous comment – the “Most Americans are fat, dumb, arrogant, ignorant, and lazy.” part is brought to life by people like you. For the portion of the population that actually contribute to society, create success, experience cultural diversity, and understand ‘people’ from all over the world – it’s embarassing to be geographically associated with people like you. Owning people is stupid – if you owned your lazy self, I’m sure you’d fire your lazy self!

I didn’t realize Americans were so stupid. This article was clearly satirical, which was obvious in the first two sentences when she says they owned “house Mexicans” and refers to the English language as “American”. Even if the content was slightly offensive, you are giving the author exactly what she wanted: attention.

I don’t find the article to be funny and I doubt Amber does either. I think it’s a good idea and I’m hoping to not have to settle for all Mexicans when I finally get around to building a house and needing regular landscape work.

This type of talk is the very reason why if we do end up getting married, Claire, and that’s a big if though I know you want a man like me, we’re getting a prenuptial because you may try to betray me and God with a divorce and alimony.

I am so utterly shocked and confused by this article. This woman seems to think that she is from an upright and proper background. Firstly, upright and proper people have education; she clearly does not. Upright and proper people have values that coincide with the values of their country, political majority, faith and social collectives; this woman either has an undeniably WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING group of associates, or is TOTALLY WRONG on her own. But that being said I feel the need to correct a few thing about this article.

YOU DID NOT OWN THOSE MEXICAN PEOPLE. YOUR FATHER EMPLOYED THEM! Illegally might I add. And I believe Christ said that we are to obey the laws of our land as long as they are not in conflict with the laws of our God.

THERE ARE NO CANADIAN SAVAGES. The word itself having been practically stricken from English usage due to it’s overwhelming racist connotations. CANADIANS HAVE THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF POST SECONDARY EDUCATED PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. 45 PERCENT OF CANADIANS HOLD A POST SECONDARY CERTIFICATE, DIPLOMA, OR DEGREE.

NO HUMAN BEING ON THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT CAN LEGALLY OWN ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. It’s in your laws. It’s in our laws (Canada that is). Especially not a Canadian. We have something wonderful called the Charter of Rights and Freedoms which entitles every Canadian Citizen or Landed Immigrant with due protection and respect.

THE BRITISH AND CANADIAN NATIVES HAVE RELATIVELY PEACEFUL PASTS, ESPECIALLY WHEN COMPARED TO AMERICA. Isn’t it amazing that a country that liberated itself from British rule using diplomacy and mutual respect (Canada) is being called savage and violent by an American.

I’ll finally say to Amber that your grammar is an abomination. Perhaps more of an abomination than your racism and general stupidity. But truly I feel sorry for you because you don’t have any sense of true righteousness and your moronic statement here has furthered a growing distrust and disrespect of Americans by me and any of my fellow Canadians that read this.

while you seem to be rather intelligent and definitely have a somewhat true-pointing moral compass, i think you fail to realize that when common sense is applied, this obnoxious post and this obnoxious website are found to be almost absolutely created to poke fun (perhaps immaturely, but that is beside the point) at the very view you are so opposed to. So, because you seem to have something of a head on your shoulders, and because im definitely not at liberty to sift through all of the shit filling this page for more people in need of a proverbial “wake-up call”, im going to rrespectfully enlighten you: there is no “true righteousness”, only subjective personal moral value. it can be rightfully testified that the author of this article is not “moronic” by your presumed usage of the word, because it would probably require at least a shred of intelligence to formulate such an in-depth and consistent article of clever (though extremely rude)satire (that, once again, teases the very views you denounce) entire groups of people sharing a nationality are not to be stereotypically

that was an accident, forgive me. please disregard the parentheses around the phrase “that, once again, teases the very views you denounce” and also everyithing following “denounce)”.

and now we continue…
. Accusing someone of lacking a sound morality seems hypocritical when it is followed by proclaiming your irrational “distrust and disrespect” for a staggeringly vast general population of humans of all walks of life and levels of overall character (Americans). this is called bigotry, but i dont think you are a bigot.. just loose-tongued.

hopefully you rad this and leave your computer screen a wiser human being. oh yeah, almost forgot, you fucked up a bit in the grammar department too.

This is obviously a joke, anyone who thinks this is serious is a moron. Also these people who think this is real and that Americans actually think this way are obviously not as bright as they want to appear to be.

This article…this entire site scares the hell out of me. Not that I’m afraid of the cow dung they spew from their mouths/fingers, but the fact that (if this isn’t a joke site) it makes Christians and Americans look like window-licking, drool cups.
Please get help.
God, please forgive me for not being more tolerant.

lol i dont think there is a language call “America”, but i could be wrong. and the USA doesnt have enough money to own a Canadian lol they need to print so more benjamins. They should stick to what they are best at WAR :). PS if u guys wanna own a Canadian u got to stop killing us when we are watching ur sorry asses in war.

I’m a Canadian citizen, I also have American citizenship. I actually found it hard not to laugh reading this article, namely because of the fact that it was funny. I’m utterly shocked that so many people think the author is serious. It’s clearly a satirical commentary on racial ignorance. People today of the day seem to lack the cognitive ability to understand abstract humour (yes humoUr…I am Canadian after all).

this is the funniest website i’ve ever come across, i seriously thought it was a joke-site ripping on christians… but then when i saw that these peoeple are serious, i damn near pissed my pants. how does a person get to be so dillusional? not to mention this girl trying to be funny, and MAKEING HERSELF LOOK LIKE AN IGNORANT CUNT to the entire world wide web.
i mean i (unhappily) live in texas and this even shocks me…. can we cast a vote to send this unfortunate looking bitch down to juarez to meet some real mexicans?

a Lot of SOutherner american thinks Like that we call Them Redneck and they view technology and every other country has “evil” and wnat to destroiy them Bush was one of them and started two stupid wars for Oil ( now it’s not about 0/11 but for Oil )

they also planned to attack China because they have a Ideology communism ( what it’s does to USA if china is communist to their Own country ??? ) nothing

Wow. Just wow. It is really impressive how many of you idiots have carried on the same conversation over…and over…and over again. Really. One: Take time to find out if it’s satire or not before you flame it. Two: Read the freaking comments. It’s not hard. If you do, you could avoid making yourself look dumb by saying something 400 people have already said. Three: Dude. Seriously. If I hear one more person stereotype Americans as fat, stupid, and racist, I will completely lose it. Just stop and think. Where in the world is there a place where all the people in 100 square miles share the same views and ideals? What are the chances that all of the people in the United States (which really isn’t “America,” by the way. It’s part of America.), which is 3.79 MILLION square miles, (thanks Wikipedia) would all be the same. Jeez. I, a caucasian male, have no problem with any racial group (nor do I think mine is better than any of them), I weigh in at a well-built and healthy 175 pounds and stand at 5’11″, I got a 29 on my ACT, (oh wow, deja vu)and I play 5 instruments. I would characterize myself (hell, my family too) as nonracist, healthy, intelligent, and cultured. So there.

Okay,from being party Mexican i take it that you were racist. Mexicans come to America because people like you are lazy and won’t do your own work around your house so they come to take your own job. That’s sad. Most of them come to work because they want to provide for their family just as you do. Your very much judging and stereotyping them, and its frankly not appreciated. I am a christian actually and I really don’t know what this has to do with Christianity. Whoever wrote this had no point to it. You didn’t own the Mexicans, they just worked for you. SLOW!

For all of you who post on here calling the blogger racist, you miss the point. She is pointing out the absurdity of the attitudes that Americans have towards Mexicans and drawing an absurd comparison to Canadians.

We have no problems with Canadians in the U.S., why, because they don’t scare us:

1. They speak the same language.
2. They look like “us”

Why is there a fence on the Mexican border, but not on the Canadian border?

The fact that you consider this a joke and find any of this funny makes me feel so sorry for you. And what I think is even more disappointing is that you dragged God into all this verbal garbage– I mean your joke. After I post this I’ll pray for you Amber, because you obviously need some guidance. And to anyone that is hurt or offended by this article I urge you to pray for her also, because posting your feelings of anger is exactly what she wants you to do! Don’t give her that satisfaction- Peace out, MAB

Okay so this is all so stupid. First of all, Amber, You’re clearly ignorant for thinking this. This is clearly the opposite effect with how God’s word is trying to be depicted. It’s people like you that A.) Give a bad and ignorant name to the United States and B.) Twist the word’s of God into something radical and retarded when really it’s just words that are meant to inspire a person to being a caring, moral individual. Owning people is just down-right stupid, and you are as well for thinking this. You’re a fucking retard. Let’s sell you into slavery and see if you enjoy it you bitch. I’m sorry to call you a fellow American. You are just down right stupid.

As far as the comments on bashing on America; come on people wake up. The United States is the world’s greatest country. It is one of the few that a person living in poverty in one country can come and obtain a significantly better lifestyle (wealthier). Why do you think that millions of immigrants have come to this country in the past and even now? They are in search of a better life, and that is something that the United States offers. The US has the world’s best economy, the best military (security reason), one of the best job markets, and a capitalistic government that allows for much of the social mobility and wealth development. If you think your country is better than the US I’d like you to show me your reasoning, Because I promise you I can find you an argument against everything you have to say.

No country is the Greatest even USA has is downright issue and europe and canada as Immigrant as well

Your country as serious issue about death threat to your Own president your healthcare is actually the worst of any civilized country ( poll show it not me )

your Security is a real joke yes you have a Lot of men and women serving in army but none are actually specialized in anything they are actually an average well round soldier ( actually it’s can be good used properly)

You need your allies to win most of the wars your economy can bankrupt at anytime it’s never been solid or stable (because of wars Mostly)

Your government is corrupted either is democrat or republican (actually any government in any country is it)

A lot of countries and people hate you because you are Boastful ( you helping in WWII and soo ?? we could have won anyway hitler even said it in his memory before he died)

actually USA is the Most racist ( iuts the Onyl country who ahs sinophobia seriously )

even if Other country has racism as well we don’t actualky make a fuse calling mexican “aliens” or chinese “commies”

You actually wnat to destroy every countries who has a different Political view than yours

Nixon was a Racist Reagan was another douchebags shall I continue ???

US was once a Great country now his true face is shown is Nothing more than a any other country

seriously if you wnat my Opinion withdraw from Iraq and afghanistan and any other country you secretly invade as well start Loving them equally

Other country Need to grow up and Solve their own problem themselve

and don’t go to wars when it’s doesnt threaten your own country when I heard us attack other country for Oil I am like if it’s a Great country i’m happy to be a lesser one

Haha. As a Brit who actually understands satire, Amber’s post is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while and actually makes me think better of Americans. The amount of anger generated by it us Unholy madness. Awesome

Wow you are fucking insane dude, you’re proposing that americans should charitably open up their homes to your neighbouring nations citizens because it would make their lives so much better to be your bitches.

You suck dick and don’t deserve to have access to the internet, the biggest disadvantage of freedom of speech is letting idiots like yourself speak their mind.

And as a foreigner I’m sure I can find better ways of making money than working in your house as your bitch.

Congrats on making yourself one of the biggest idiots on the internet, Seb

I read the blog and ive also been reading a lot of the comments. I really dont know what to think. I mean i hope its a joke but, if it was a joke the author should have put HAHA or LOL at the end and even then it would not have been funny. Im American and i dont know anyone who hates Canadians. Im also Catholic (dont gang up on me please) and I went to a Catholic school. They taught us that slavery is wrong. When the bible was written the times were completely different. And not only Christians owned slaves. CHRISTIANS DO NOT LIKE SLAVERY. and those that do are compete racist pigs. thank you for hearing me out.

I have decided. This is not a joke. Have you seen the other crap on this website? They wrote that the bible says that it is ok for a husband to hit his wife and that atheist’s are taking over the country. They also have a list of the 30 evils Obama is bringing to the country, look at it it is ridiculous. And you know what the sad part is? They think that they are doing this all in the name of God. I can only feel sorry for them and wish I could shake them back and forth a few times to clear their head. I mean come on!!!!
Anyway- seriously check the other stuff on the website, they are ok with domestic violence!
Please dont think all Christians are like that. These people are just sick.
Thanks

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…….only a bible shitting god loving piece of shit conservative bitch can think of anything thing this fucking funny HOLY SHIT!!! I almost cried while i was reading this piece of shit article. Why dont we just follow your lead and relegalize slavery….Conservative Christians…they crack me up!

Well obviously everyone of you did not have a great English teacher as myself. My class picked up quite quickly that this is an obvious satire! Yes, they are products of the American Educational System. Yes, I do have some “Mexicans” within my class. We prefer to call them Hispanics due to the fact that not every brown person is not a Mexican. Oh and by the way, most of my beautiful tenth grade and ninth grade “Mexicans” are very literate and can indeed use the internet. Great job, Amber. Now in order for it to be a correct satire, you need to offer a solution to your problem. We do understand the sarcasm in this and I did use this as a teaching tool. Amber, your English teacher should be proud!

This is not satyr this entire web site is dedicated to people who think this way. I suggest you not pass on this kind of materials to impressionable children. Do their parents know the kinds of things your giving them to read.

Yeah I hate this country to. Only unlike you I hate it all the time. People here are so fucking stupid. There are so many videos on Youtube and other sources that play videos that show americans being asked about presidents and bills that are passed and it just upsets me how fucking stupid people in those videos are. the fact that thousands of people are arguing over some stupid piece of shit satire christan conservative bitch just baffles me. We stick our greddy noses into everyone’s business becuase we are america and we have to be this big badass country. the only problem with that is is the fact that no body likes us. NO ONE. All our friends are people who we sell guns to or people that we protect. Personally I think its cool to hire people from another country but in no way does that mean that you can just say that you own them. This article is so fucking stupid and it pisses me off when I here people (from this country) who are so stupid about political issues. Why dont we follow this piece of shit website and become a Theocracy while we are at it. Why doesnt everyone who is a memeber of this website read the constitution, stop fuckning their sister, and take their bible and set it on fire because it is nothing but a bunch of fucking lies. Become and atheist and mabey we would live in a decent country versus one that is racist and stupid.

Never mind. I thought this was sarcasm until I checked out the rest of this site.

So many things are wrong on this post, from the almost-trivial(“Though they did not speak much American, they still had hearts of gold.”) to the slightly-racist (“. . .they appreciated the honor of serving a proper family.”) to the batshit-insane (“Why can’t I own a Canadian?”).

Amber, if this is a parody, please, please, please reply and tell me so.

And to anyone who responded with something along the lines of “American’s are so fucked up”, this doesn’t represent our entire people. Yes, there are some crazies who really think this; but that would be like hearing from a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend about hiring a Mexican nanny who “. . .[stole] your items and flaunt[ed] their curvy bean-dipped hips in front of your husband and sons”, and assuming that all Hispanic people are like this.

So I didn’t bother to read all the comments here as they mostly repeat themselves, but let me start out by saying those of you who use curse words every other word are just as ignorant as the woman who wrote this whether your Canadian American or Mexican, At least she had some imagination. Whether or not this a was a joke or not sadly there are people who are this stupid, however letting them drag you down to there level like many of you have, just perpetuates things. There’s no arguing with their stupidity and trying will just give you a headache eventually, although I have to admit it is pretty fun for a time. If you don’t like what she has to say then kill it by not responding and keeping it so popular. Eventually this will get lost with the rest of the useless refuge on the net. Really your probably giving her a rush by making her so popular.

TO AMBER

If this was a serious blog and you really think this way I feel very sorry for you. You have done irreparable damage to your reputation no one will ever take you seriously again except those who will want to punish you for you stupidity. If this was a satyr you need to make that more clear. What is the point of insulting so many and making them angry for no purpose, other then to waste time. If that was the reason once again I’m led to feel sorry for you as you obviously have no life. If you want to get people in an uproar why don’t you do something constructive with it and pick something you actually think is important.

I have nothing against your beliefs. Beliefs are our own explanations for things that we don’t know how to prove or to understand so I certainly have no right to challenge with my own beliefs. The only thing I can do is challenge your ideas with things that are a little more solid than beliefs. I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to embarrass you in any way, to try to lecture you, or to anger you. I’m just trying to share my perspective with you in hopes that you can take something from this that can be help in your life somehow.

Why can’t you own a Canadian? Well I bet if you were sneaky enough and the Canadian was desperate enough you could. Why are so many people so offended by the idea then? It may not be obvious at first but try to think about how you would feel about being owned by someone. People, no matter where they live in the world, are very similar, almost identical, in basic needs, desires, thoughts, and feelings. We all experience different things in our lives but we all share the same basic needs. We need food, water, shelter, people, and a sense of control in our lives to be happy healthy humans (if you haven’t learned about how feeling you have no control in your life affects you mentally and physically I suggest doing a little research. Its very interesting). When you own someone you take away their sense of control. You wrote that owning people was a great experience but it was a great experience at the expense of the people you owned. Helping people satisfy one need at the expense of another is NOT being generous. It’s being selfish. That doesn’t sound very Christian to me.

And just so you know, Canadians don’t live by the U.S. border so that they can sneak in. They live there because it is warmer.

I hope that this gave you something to think of at the very least and I hope that you and your family get the chance to travel and learn more about the world you live in. I wish you a lot of happiness and health in your life and I hope you are able to recognize the millions of opportunities to grow as a person that will come your way. I hope you can find all of this, and not at the expense of another person. Good luck.

American would be an ALRIGHT country, if it wasn’t for the fact that your president is a nigger. I mean, god, that REALLY must suck. Remember what Kramer said to that black guy during his stand-up show? “We would have you upside down with a fork up your ass” Well shit, America. Look who’s upside down with a fork up the ass now.

I don’t know if I should laugh at this or be slightly disappointed. Its hard to tell if the author is serious or if she’s written a very well written satire (Along the lines of Jonathan Swifts “A Modest Proposal”) Sadly judging by the Author’s picture she looks like she is in grade school and might literally believe this but its hard to be sure. There are some really intelligent children out there. I’ll stick to the thought that its Satirical and enjoy it for what it is. A big old joke.

People need to stop being so ignorant and hateful. As a United States Marine in the infantry I have done many things that I wasn’t happy to do in war, but that doesn’t make our country stupid. Canadians are not stupid, and neither are Mexicans. The U.S., Canada, and Mexico have been through so many things over the past few hundred years and all three countries have made good and bad decisions. We are all equal in God’s eyes. People seriously need to learn to stop getting so worked up over what is clearly a joke. Of course, the person who wrote it should never be joking like that in the first place and that individual should be shot for it, but it is still a joke and everyone needs to chill out. This one blog all by itself has made all three countries look horribly ignorant. Grow up people.

Wow, so how about that raging. I could only dig through a section of it before I got tired, but I hadn’t seen anyone ask this. This is clearly satire, I was just wondering if you were parodying this open letter:

Despite all the negative comments I think this article was just as effective like the one on “Why Chinese mothers are superior.” Poor choice of word would account for some negative reaction from me since we don’t “own” people. But I got the gist of what Amber was trying to say about how one can have a positive experience with having helpers at home. Also giving them real money? They earned that. Household chores are just as demanding as your 9-5 job.
I must say that I agree with Amber though about how this experience of people at your service can be beneficial to both. Growing up in the Philippines we had helpers even though we were just middle class to lower-income.
I can see how Mexicans would take offense over this but the one about Mexican Women being hard to trust now? I think that’s just a hint of jealousy over their curvaceous and tanned bodies. I don’t think there was anything different from when she was young…I’m sure there were evil people then and just as much good people now.
As for the Canadians…it’s more a geographic proximity comment and I think just giving unemployed people more opportunities would be great. Didn’t you(Canadians) catch the praise here? “If we are able to have such an experience with more trustworthy modern people, like the Canadians…”
CA,TX, Mexico, Canada…as Michael Jackson’s song goes “We are the world!”

Why not pave the way to sponsor more Filipinos to work legally here in the US?
The ones who come here(US)–legally or otherwise are usually the cream of the crop. Also they still think America is filled with milk and honey and best of all most Filipinos speak English. Trust me, this is better than a mail-order bride from the Philippines.

One last comment…this site needs filtering(a moderator maybe). It is very unpleasant to see so much trash talk in what is suppose to be a Christian website.

Why not own an american? I mean, maybe they could use our help since their economy has gone in the shitter . Maybe we can help those who have lost their houses, by allowing them to work in our houses for $50 a day. Give them an opportunity to experince our healthcare , and teach them some manners . I mean last time i checked the american economy was trillions of dollars in debt and declaired an economic emergency . A lot of banks were closed and jobs were lost. Not to say Canada was immune to the recession , but perhaps we could teach you a thing or two about running a bank and equidity loans. ^.^

Wow you guys really be serious. The article was written to try to deliever a comeback to a letter written to a conservative christian talk show host titled “Why Can’t I own a Canadian?” The letter was pointing out just a few of the faults in the bible such as the fact that the bible states that you can own a slave so long as they were purchased from a neighboring nation. If you would just go look up the letter then you might have understood how pathetic this was as it hardly answeres one of the many questions originally posed. Also reading it might just give you the perspective to get up off of your high christian horse and see that yyour precious bible has alot of faults in it.

Ok I really think people need to calm down. Contrary to popular belief it IS possible to make a point without cursing fifty times per sentence.
Get it through your skulls
AMERICANS ARE NOT ALL MORONS
Believe it or not Canada we’ve got people like this living here too! They have them in Poland too, and Britain, and everywhere else!
Complete ignorant stupidity is a trait of humanity. Not Americans. So seriously stop trashing Americans you’re offensive to the nice ones, and you are no better then Amber calling Mexicans and Canadians savages that are good for nothing but labor.

AMBER. Grow up and get out of the house a little more. Both Canadians and Mexicans have internet.
We also have Houses, Cars, Cities, Highways, museums, skyscrapers, ipods, blackberries,etc.
How can you claim we are savages when we CANADIANS invented everyday stuff like the phone and planes?
I would also like to throw it out there that most Canadians have NEVER seen a polar bear(or a normal bear for that matter), a moose, or wolves, or a real igloo.

And for the hell of it MOST OF YOUR AMERICAN MADE MOVIES ARE SHOT IN VANCOUVER!

YOU ALL STINK YOU ALL NEED TO DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE I MEAN COME ON YOU SPAZOUTS CALM DOWN I MEAN OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE IVE NEVER SEEN SUCH ANIMOSITY IN MY DAYS IM AN OLD LADY AND IN MY DAY YOU PEOPLE WOULD BE BEHEADED FOR SUCH NONSENCE NOW YOU BETTER ALL JUST CALM DOWN AND DEAL WITH LIFE LIFE IS LIFE YOU CANT CHANGE IT SO JUST SHUT UP IM A CANADIAN IM JAPANESE IM CHINESE IM DREWESE ESE WERE ALL FROM THE SAME PERSON IF YOU BELIEVE IN LOVEEEE

This is the problem, People think they have the right to feel superior/dominate others based on such silly things as geography/skin color/religious ideology. All of these things that were missed in the article are hashed out in the comments. Bigotry is a learned behavior, do ourselves a favor get educated and be better people. Americans,Canadians, and Mexicans we are all part of the same neighbourhood and it would aid our stability greatly as a nation to accept each other and work together for a better North American Continent.Better Rights for all people of our great continent. Letting this article stay up on there site for so long despite its clearly racist message(Satire or not) does not reflect very well on this web site or it moderators.

I am Canadian, and I’m for sale….
My rates are not cheap, nor are they reasonable. I am a determined, and hard working. Hell, I’ll even do your homework for you! I make good Sandwiches, and I am very fit. (Enabling me to jog to McDonalds for you.)

My rates vary, depending on how ignorant the American in-which I am serving is. Judging by your awesomely Trolled post, it will most likely be $200 an hour.

I require a special commercially air conditioned room for my Polar bear, and myself. We’re both quite heat sensitive. I will also be needing a kennel for my Dog Sled team.

If you are interested, or would like more information please contact:
1800-622-6232

Veronica – While your offer is tempting, this particular religious order is currently negotiating with alaskansforsale.com
They are certainly more reasonably priced, and like Canadians, there is not much chance that a Muslim will slip through the employment net. Also it is a coinflip whether somebody of French or Israeli extraction may arrive. Obviously the greater distance between Alaska and New York gives a greater chance of purchasing a worker and avoiding the possibility of having a Jew show up on our doorstep!
Alaskans also move a little faster, and are more easily trained. An interesting offshoot of the legalization of certain herbal substances in that State.
Thanks for the offer anyway.

Obviously the idiot racist jackass does not realize that Canada and Canadians are more Technologically advanced than the Americans, and that WE still have a AAA rating which puts us first in a more stable Economy. The U.S. , Not All, but the Jackass who wrote the comment does not realize that if it wasn’t for Canada and the technology that we have, half the sh*t they have would not exist. At least we are AAA, they just got demoted to AA+. Maybe they should work for us Canadians instead, and learn something about being a union to our neighbors.

To all the annoyed, disappointed, insulted Canadians out there: Don’t lower yourself to her level by throwing names and insults back at her. Let it be understood however that her parents deserve a smack up side the head for not teaching her that all people are entitled to equal rights! The only way to overcome this heinous lack of education is to throw knowledge back at it! Don’t let her ignorance affect you in such a way that it puts you “out of sync”.

Im not posative but im pretty sure slavery is illegal in the usa. And i am from michigan and i dont give a shit if someone is canadian. I would love to move to canada one day. This is the most racist thing i have ever seen. I want to vomit at this horrible thing. This guy is a retard and a racist

I’m just visiting my pals house in the U.S to see this new thing called the flush toilet and he also showed me computers and Internet and this article. It seems unfair to me that you can own a Mexican but you can’t own one of us, we are just as own-able as any Mexican, maybe even more own-able! We can usually speak American pretty good with only a few flawed wordes like creek and roof, but if you forgive us those shortcomings we can do many great things, such as hold things for you, pet your cat, stern your canoe, or take your dogsled to the store for your tallow candles. just don’t let us get into big groups or a hockey game may break out.Please our neighbors to the south, don’t give preference to mexicans, we may not make tacos but we have unreal maple syrup……and Justin beiber!

u stupid person u are a sick persone who dosent care about the rights of other human beings. you are so sick so is ur frigen family u peices of dirt. i really like some americans but you not so much i want to know. i hate you you phyco. you think ur so tuff behind ur computer screen when the truth is ur prob some ugly no nothing who eats McDonalds all day. this is coming from a 14 year old canadian you stuipid person. i hate you. but i love most americans. other than you amber you stupid no nothing racist peice of….. never mind.

This is awesome. I don’t use the word awesome in a way in which can be denoted as inspiring. I use it in a way to abhor (fuck I shouldn’t use big words, Americans might not understand) common decency.

You can’t own anything. Not people, not the right to be opinionated, and more recently the right to a proper education in the United States.

I pity you poor souls. But I won’t have to for long. China will own you as soon as your country defaults on it’s payments and you will learn that karma works its magic in strange ways. Slaves? yes, you will be. Economic or otherwise.