Monday, 25 February 2013

I just received
this link
in a DM (Direct Message) on Twitter and it exemplifies that atrocity of conmanship that bedevils vulnerable and
desperate job-seeking Nigerians who some have found heartless schemes to
exploit without conscience.

It is bad enough
that the quality of English leaves much to be desired but I really do worry
about how many schemes like this have had people go on a wild goose chase after
jobs that don’t exist dangled as treasures within reach to relieve people of
the very little they have.

The malevolent
deviousness of this matter beggars belief and it is incumbent on every
well-meaning person to expose all the miscreants involved in what I also believe
is a scam – if it is not a scam, then the people involved will have to
repudiate this so publicly with a media publication or else, we should all take
it as given – A Rotten SCAM!!!

A scam, if I ever saw one

The body of the
letter sent out as an email appears below. My comments are in italics or
parentheses.

With reference to
your application sent to MegaNet Resource Limited, after much analyses
[shouldn’t this be singular?] of your CV, we are pleased to inform you that, you
have been invited for a brief discussion with the HRM of MegaNet Resource
Limited for immediate posting to Unilever Nigeria Plc.

[There is a great
likelihood that no CV was sent; MegaNet Resource Limited is a front and
Unilever Nigeria Plc. did not engage this company as a recruitment agent.
Besides, no indication is given of the role applied for.

Note that, there
will be a reduction of 10% of your salary for the first month which will be in
a written agreement between you and MegaNet Resource Limited, after that you
will have no business with us.

[This is no doubt
the piece de resistance, it gives the
impression that a job has been secured and it has to be illegal and fraudulent
for a recruitment agency to charge both the customer and applicant for the same
service, if they were genuinely engaged by Unilever Nigeria Plc. The idea that
there is a contractual agreement to fleece the applicant of 10% of their first
month’s salary and then abandon the applicant is almost convincing in its
intent that it looks like the a work of genius. If Unilever engaged MegaNet, I
will like to know what they think of this.]

Meanwhile, you are
hereby invited for a brief discussion with the HRM of MegaNet Resource Limited.

This is a
requirement to meet you in person and review your credentials.

A gathering of the fleeced

Please find details
of your invite below:

Date: 27th February
2013

Time: 9:30am

Venue: University
of Lagos Multi-Purpose Hall (Main Campus) Akoka.

[An open venue with
no links to either Unilever or MegaNet, they might be expecting a crowd but
really, this beggars belief. Now, where is MegaNet based? Don’t Ask.

You can be sure
that many will be gathering here and suddenly find kindred with many others who
have been parted with their cash with no respite, recourse or succour but a
stark slap of reality on the bare cheek and curses that will go no further than
the strength of the breaths of their mouths.]

Required Materials:
You should come along with 2 passports [passport sized photographs, I think
this means], original copy of your credentials and the invitation letter for
security check point.[To really show that you’ve been had. I feel so sorry
already.]

What will I pay to see you caught?

Note: You are to
pay the sum of N2,200 Naira for [a] Medical [examination], as [an] external doctor will be at
the venue and a file will be opened for you that will comprise your entire
document including the medical result that will be taking to the place of your
posting.

[What humiliation,
a doctor will examine applicants in a multi-purpose hall in the presence of
other applicants? What kind of medical tests will be conducted there? Why can’t
Unilever or MegaNet foot this bill? Why do applicants have to pay out of their
own meagre resources with no guarantee of compensation to apply and qualify for
a job?

Is this not a variant of the Advance Fee Fraud scheme? You pay up for a service you are not guaranteed to get from a stranger who is more persuasive than the serpent in Adam's Eden.]

Find details of the
account number below:

Bank Name: Ecobank

A/C Number:
0803043511

A/C Name: Adesanya
Kayode

The culpable banks

[As usual the
essential collection bucket of the scammer is a bank account especially where
banks are usually derelict in monitoring nefarious activities of confidence
tricksters who clear out the accounts long before the conned comes to and
launches a complaint with the bank.

I dare say, banks
by reason of their lack of vigilance, carelessness and negligence inadvertently
aid and abet money laundering and fraudulent schemes granting anonymity to
crooks who find the intermediary services of the bank a good front for a bad
scheme.]

Please, come with
the Teller to the venue, we don't accept money at the venue. This is for
security reasons due to previous experience.

[One can only
wonder what previous experience apart from someone coming to the realisation of
this atrocity and demanding their money back on the spot – money in the bank is
literally impossible to reclaim without extraneous means.]

Yours Faithfully,

[Faithful to his
scheme and insincere to your plight.]

Adesanya Kayode

HRM

This, my friends, is a SCAM

I am at pains to
find the professional import of this enterprise apart from it being a
well-crafted scheme to fleece the vulnerable and desperate of their meagre
resources.

It is my intention
to expose such machinations which on scrutiny look too good to be true, cajoling
and inveigling like a slithering venomous snake looking for easy prey.

As I happen to be
involved in contractual engagements with Unilever in the UK, I will be asking
their management of the veracity of this subject, because even if MegaNet
Resource Limited has been engaged by Unilever Nigeria Plc for a recruitment
drive, how they are going about it is reprehensible, wrong, atrocious, audacious
and scandalous.

Tell Mr. Adesanya to take a hike

I can see no reason
why MegaNet Resource Limited should not be put out of business forthwith and
Mr. Kayode Adesanya exposed as a scamming fraud.

Thanks to TheWordSmith on Twitter for intimating me of this scam, there are no two words to
it, it looks like a scam, it reads like a scam, it is crafted like a scam and
it lacks the trust elements that would make us think otherwise – a scam, is a
scam, is a scam and this my friends is what it is – A SCAM!!! I have responded to the comments to this blog here.

Sunday, 24 February 2013

I was back in
Manchester this weekend literally spoiling for a fight to pick up my glasses
which Vision Express expressly did not have the courtesy to expressively inform
me of as to the progress in sorting my order out knowing full well that I was from out
of town even though after phone calls to them I was told and assured I will be
informed but no information came to my notice.

Meanwhile, on the
train from Chester, a journey lasting just 75 minutes had me sat in the middle of a
crowd I would not have chosen but for the circumstances.

Behind me was a
young man in his twenties but with the mental development of an obstreperous
3-year old being chaperoned back home. He got restless, fidgety and kicked
violently at the back of my seat everytime the train stopped.

Holding my hair piece

In other
circumstances, I would have remonstrated but this was one of those situations
where it was just best to live and let live, enduring it for the experience of
knowing how fortunate most of us are and how longsuffering their carers might
be not forgetting the frustrations of a big man caught in the throes of a small
child.

In front, there was
a couple of the alternative kind where one in that time had quaffed two bottles
of blue vodka and he still had two legs to stand on when we got off the train.

The conductor found
time to joke, apparently, Justin Bieber, whoever that is was performing in town
and he said he had just heard from the organisers that the concert had been
cancelled because Justin had to wash his hair. Much laughter filled the train.

A 419 experience

When I got to my
hotel, I was put on the top floor which required the use of steps because it is
not serviced by a lift. When I showed the receptionist my cane, he promptly
relocated me to a more accessible floor and also close to the lifts. The room
number was 419.

I decided on having
no breakfast at the hotel, basically, if they could not get mere toast right
that it was just toasted on one side, it was unlikely that whatever else they
were offering would be up to palatable standards, I had experienced it before –
cheap, tacky and avoidable.

Then I made for
Vision Express where my first pair was ready and the spare pair was still in
the laboratory. I asked to speak to the manager to remonstrate about the lack
of adequate customer service.

Appeased with a deal

She arrived with my
spare pair which had different lenses from the main pair. That was not what I had ordered, they were both supposed to be photo-chromatic or as the lingo is
nowadays, transition, scratch-resistant and anti-glare – at least in my case,
there was no reason for me to order different pairs of lenses if I wanted to be
able to interchange glasses.

The change would
normally have cost extra but as a sop or some sort of appeasement, they were
offered for free though that would mean another visit to Manchester in maybe
fortnight.

The rest of the
weekend in Manchester was not that eventful, clubs that required membership for
me to gain entrance presented a hostile side to the city which should have been
catered for with the presentation of a hotel key card signifying I was from out
of town.

Hallelujah in my birthday suit

I found a Nigerian
restaurant called Hallelujah
African Cuisine, when I called to ask about their services, I learnt they
will close late because there was a night vigil – maybe, I should pray a bit
more over my food, but honestly, these divinely inspired names of businesses
that seem to want to double as shrines to the Levitical priesthood are more
amusing than to be taken too seriously. I had a good meal there.

We are to check-out
of the hotel at 11:00AM, I am usually barely able to do that until maybe
11:15AM but before 11:00AM there were knocks on my door despite the fact that I
had a red Do Not Disturb sign on the door knob.

I cannot think of
who could have removed it that by 11:10AM before I could answer the door, the
lady was in my room and there I was in
flagrante deprehensus nuda nudus...

Thursday, 21 February 2013

In one week, I have
written nothing and a lot has happened since I penned the piece about My Funny
Valentine in the earnest desire for love, company and companionship.

However, as we woke
into the morning of St. Valentine’s Day of the year 2013, 4 shots reverberated
round the world as it became an echo chamber of a tragedy that still leaves
many in shock but worse still, the irreparable losses, the loss of freedoms to
love, to live and to roam – it is all too sad.

She started the
night before in the arms of her love and by daybreak she was in the arms of her
Lord, the whole episode unfolding like a horrific thriller with both entombed
in the ground and in a cell, the former we must never forget for the enduring glory
of the latter.

Guns with irrational backbone

One cannot comment
on the specifics of the case but one thing is evident, regardless of the status
of whoever was caught enclosed and defenceless in that place, that person would
have ended up dead, be the person an intruder or a lover and that for me is
unacceptable aggression in the face of somewhat irrational fear predicated on
the assumed extreme vulnerability of the perpetrator.

Guns appear to give
people an unusual sense of bravado and daring where other defence mechanisms to
seek help or flee, and I mean flee will kick in.

Four gunshots was
four gun shots too many, too determined, too irrational, too demonstrative, too
controlling and too self-assured of dealing with a situation. We may never know
the mind of the how and why but result is devastating enough that the absence
of a sense of great remorse of what was essentially avoidable will never be
acceptable.

My sympathies are with the victim, totally

One must not stand
to judge, but between the extremes of the benign of the fear of an assumed
intruder and it must be clear that this was not fighting off an intruder and
the unfortunate pall of spousal abuse resulting in a fatality all too common in
many places around the world, my sympathies are squarely with the victim
regardless of provocation; no non-aggressive provocation where the other party
does not present an existential threat to life should have anyone ending up in
the morgue.

The circus of love
ended on Valentine’s Day and what we have now for entertainment is the circus
of the macabre, it is almost as unwatchable as it is reprehensible as the media
feeding frenzy has settled down south on a basic gavel hearing that has now
stretched into the fourth day.

For all the
accolades, glory and heroic feats of determination and achievement that dogs
the principal and masks his attendant foibles, weaknesses and shortcomings, none
of which must be discounted with the flippant wave of the hand, my thoughts, my
pains and my heartache are with Reeva Steenkamp, her bereaved family, the death
of the life force of an amazing dream and the many partners who have by
pre-meditation or inadvertently fallen at the hands of the person they chose to
love.

Thursday, 14 February 2013

There be many like
me who have long sought a day when this day will not be spent alone having been battered, bruised, used and abused many times before that we know not what we
want anymore.

We are caught in
the maelstrom of love being in the air but not our love, it is the love of
others living like they have no care in the world because their joy is
fulfilled, their heart is content, they are with the one they want to be with
and are as happy as can be.

Then again, there
are others who cannot be with the one they love to whom one would say, love the
one you’re with.

One day for us

But this day must
not end just like that, for those who are with none also matter too, maybe
before the sun is down the heart might just skip a beat and there will begin a
story yet untold to last happily ever after.

We seek our own
funny valentine, the sound of the voice, the touch of the hand, the kiss of the
lips, the embrace where the warmth is cosier than anything nature can provide,
giving life, bringing hope and the dare to touch the sky with fingers entwined.

It need not be so
extraordinary, maybe I will settle for nice, but when my love brings joy,
laughter, companionship and fun even that beauty will be indescribable.

Nothing is more
annoying than when jobs are created for people for the sake of it and in the
process what was a simple process of interaction becomes a bureaucracy
bottleneck of suddenly officious personnel frustrating others.

For a long time
before I arrived on the scene, you got access just by asking reception, there
was a sign emblazoned at reception saying this service is available on request
from the same reception staff, no questions, no quibbles and no red-tape.

Inserting frustration

However, now a
layer of unnecessary officialdom has been added to the workflow, even though
ultimately the reception staff will service the request, the poor requester now
has to do double legwork to get anything done.

The sign is still
there but a renewal now requires that we visit reception to learn that we need
to contact some pen-pusher who will click a button to ask reception to grant
access whilst asking you enter the bureaucratic nightmare of service requests
that end up on the desks of first responders whose powers of the basic
perception of communication will make explaining the very visually graphical
scene to the those with severe sensory deprivation a greater pleasure.

Bothering less

I wonder to myself
if I really want to run the gauntlet of this essential to them but somewhat cumbersome
for me situation, there are things that are not worth the bother besides
creating a situation that the frustrated get creative and for all the
resourcefulness available to man will be much tempted to break the system and
get the fresh air of freedom and liberty.

As I write, the pen
has been pushed but the reaction is late in coming, a 5-minute ask is easily
becoming a 1-hour task for the sake of God knows what but eternal frustration.

Monday, 11 February 2013

I do believe that
animals need to be cared for and treated humanely; they have a place in this
world as much as any of us who live on earth. We must however distinguish
between pets, domesticated animals, exotic animals and wild animals, properly
categorising them and handling them in their appropriate habitats.

However, I also do
believe that man by reason of providence immemorial is at the top of the
hierarchy of the animal kingdom and for that we have a responsibility of
husbandry of the earth, the inhabitants and its resources.

Sensible usage

More pertinently,
we have come to the understanding that there must be judicious and fair use
along with conservation to ensure that we enjoy the fruits of the earth but not
exhaust them that those who come after us end up living in a barren world.

We can use but we
must be careful not to abuse, we can manage but resist the licence to plunder;
there should be a balance in the way we work the system for the benefit of all.

The fox has moved

Now, I was not one
in favour of the ban on fox hunting, my opinion was it had been an age-old
tradition though at the same time a celebration of the class system which is
patently British and it is something we cannot divorce ourselves from for the
sake of modernity.

The fox has somewhat
moved from the counties and the shires into the home, our homes and that is
just so not right.

Fox on the throne

What is quite
bothersome is the fact that the fox did not scare easily when the mother of the
child approached it; she literally had to fight off the fox that had the
literally bitten off the finger of the child as if it felt it was being denied
its well-earned meal.

The fox had gone on
the hunt, albeit in an urban area, gained access to a building, found a baby
and sunk its feral rabid teeth into the child without any consideration – as if
foxes have the powers of consideration that human-being have.

This is just an
unacceptable development, a rise of urban fox numbers helped by the way we
discard our rubbish and the lack of a natural predator to keep the numbers
down.

What to do

In the longer term,
we do need decide how we secure our homes, to manage better how we dispose of
our food waste that foxes do not see our urban areas as easy places to feed and
be fattened, our encroachment into the usual habitats on the outskirts of town
needs to be curtailed but as a matter of urgency, this issue is one of vermin,
a pest and the need for a controlled process of extermination to rid our cities
of thousands of foxes.

It is impractical
to have them relocated and they are not necessarily exotic enough first for
domestication or for mass deployment into zoos, the hard truth is they need to
be culled, we should make no bones about that.

Before some animal
rights advocates rise up in arms about the need to pat the fox on the head as
it makes chicken drumsticks and chicken wings of the thighs and arms of our
vulnerable babies that we have simply left to sleep peacefully in their cots,
there is no reason for foxes and us to live in the cities, they belong in the
bush, in holes that they by nature used to dig to live in and must either by
management or otherwise be sent back to the bush where they belong.

Sunday, 10 February 2013

I found myself at
the much improved Arndale
Shopping Centre in Manchester where just 17 years ago on my very second
visit to Manchester the IRA set off a bomb that had shards of glass fall on
someone hardly 10 yards from where I was standing.

For a while, I have
been thinking of my sight, the state of my natural eye-sight as compared to
when I have my glasses on, basically, I have not had an eye-test since well
before I fell ill, so I walked into an opticians to have a test with the hope
that I will walk out with a pair of glasses in an hour – well, that is the
spiel but nothing could be further from the truth.

Squinty eyes with puny pupils

In any case, the
tests began with a check on the strength of my glasses, then what prescription might
be right by peering into kaleidoscopic instruments that brought a colourful
hot-air balloon into focus before jets of air were shot at my eyes to test my eye pressure.

Then, reading the
charts where F, P and R or Y and V had you seeing one thing and thinking
another, though it is better not to second-guess the system and let the natural
sight guide you.

The light tests to
observe the back of my eyes left the optometrist running the tests thrice
before he decided my pupils were too small that I needed my pupils dilated with
the help of rather stinging eye drops; this easily added another 45 minutes to
a visit that I thought will not be over an hour and 15 minutes.

Choices between
frames and types of lenses took their toll between avoiding the trendy whilst
at the same time getting something fashionable and traditional enough to fit my
generally conservative and typically formal look, I just about succeeded but my
lenses were not in stock; which means another visit to Manchester in two
weekends rather than having the glasses posted by mail without the benefit of a
fitting in the shop.

I’m an Englishman

However, something
more bizarre happened, a loquacious young man, well-dressed in a
single-breasted suit with all buttons done up walked in apparently to fix his
glasses and when he saw me he came over to ask where I was from. I already
sussed he was probably Nigerian and Yoruba but I had to avoid being accused of
sorcery.

The answer I always
give to that question is, I am from many places, starting with my being an Englishman of Nigerian parentage. He scoffed at the idea that I might be
denying my Nigerian heritage but the real story is I have spent almost
two-thirds of my life outside Nigeria apart from the fact that I was not born
in Nigeria.

The optician’s
assistant who has Pakistani parents was also born in England and we stated that
the fundamental difference between us and him was that he was naturalised
whilst we were born here, it meant that he could lose his acquired British
citizenship whilst we could never be denied our status by any organ of the
state.

Undue familiarity

By which time, we
had exchanged mobile phone numbers and he had learnt I could speak Yoruba and
on realising I was over twice his age, he prostrated in typical Yoruba
genuflection in the shop, I had to pick him up and tell him it was unnecessary.

At the back of my
mind, the familiarity was getting concerning as he fawned in language and
action towards me, suggesting I could become his new father he having lost his
father only the year before.

From then on, he
addressed me as daddy as we made to leave the opticians and walk out of the Arndale
Centre.

Tales of convenience

A number of uncanny
situations came up, I could not say if he was channelling me or he was genuine,
as he fed off my answers to find affinity, like going to the same secondary
school as I did though I had left long before he was born – now, the whole
story on reflection does not seem to fit together if he is 23, he has lived in
the UK since 2002 and he apparently finished secondary school in Nigeria.

In any case, he
said he had just moved up to Manchester from Cambridge and when I said I lived
in London, he averred that he once lived in Edgware.

As we conversed, I
had a phone call from a friend that interrupted flow of communication though he
seemed to be keen on talking over the conversation I was having on the phone.

The loaded invitation

I promptly ended
the phone conversation and asked about Nigerian restaurants in Manchester, he
offered that instead I come to his home where his wife who from his rather
chauvinistic tone was available to cook and make homely meals for me and I
could also have the opportunity to bless his new born son in more traditional
ways than through Christian provenance.

It made me more
uncomfortable that I was ready to tell him that I was too much a stranger to
be invited to his home just like that.

No apple for this worm

Then I saw the toilets and politely excused myself to use the conveniences; by the time I came
out he had disappeared, it was like a hit-and-run event, as if my break for toilets
had interrupted a confidence trickster’s ploy to inveigle his way into my
confidences and in turn relieve me of something that he might have wanted to
use to his nefarious ends.

I was both relieved
and strangely concerned but somewhat happy that I had been left to my own
devices. I can only wonder what he can be up to and though I have his number, I
will rather wait for him to call if he would, else, one can deem the encounter
one of those where providence and good fortune have spared me much pain and the
embarrassment of being used or worse abused.

But the ‘Coming to America’
moment was a classic, in the middle of Manchester, well away from the cultural
hotpot of Yoruba civilisation, a man recognises the presence of an elder and
prostrates fully in respect – let us not read too much into what the intentions
or ulterior motives were – encounters like this are just as well the spice of
life.

Friday, 8 February 2013

Sometimes the only
tool one has to deploy against a situation that is veering between the
embarrassing and the untenable is not force or wit but sarcasm, albeit
understated.

The art of
communication still remains an art in the choice of words, the choice of
audience in anticipation of an expected outcome, unlikely as it might seem.

The system is no
doubt broken by reason of the fact that if a process fails, there is nothing to
take up the slack, no initiative proffered and responsibility falls through the
gaping cracks as the problem festers without resolution.

Chance on this

One last ditch
effort was a reminder with a half-finished sentence that I allowed to trail
with the deft use of the ellipsis, I did not write another email after that but
it got one furious, another acquiescent and then finally a helpful statement.

In the background,
much as the project has useful remuneration, it was becoming ethically
unhealthy to continue to take benefit for little even though the situation was
no fault of mine and I intimated those that mattered on the looming decision.

Resetting the engine

Soon after, we were
filling procedural forms anew, signed and delivered with a list of requirements
and declarations, all in the hope that eventually something might just shift
and the desired will be granted.

20 hours after, an
email arrived with all the information that should have been supplied 4 weeks
before and most of the access that was requested only the day before.

Hurray!

The process of
analysis and documentation began, exploring the layout, accessing system and
getting a clear view of one’s entire to which one will be called to support and
assist in the great work ahead.

At the conclusion
of a moon cycle, we have eclipsed the one-time insurmountable and one can
presume a baptism of fire awaits the advent of the next sunrise at the coal
face.

Great result,
though if it were much earlier, the lesser angst one will have suffered.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

He is at the point
where exasperation is plumbing the depths of incredulity as the simplest task
is gaining layers of complexity that defies logic.

It is not rocket
science if the people with the responsibility get on with it and do their jobs,
but as one expects somebody to do the job, everybody thinks anybody can do it
but nobody ends up doing it and with that comes email churn with all the traffic
but not progress still.

No matter how much
those who matter fume with anger and fury, there isn’t much one can do to
tackle disinterest and indifference borne of petty rivalries played out by
minions of an organisation.

Hours by nothing

Being brought up on
the principle of dignity in labour and the honest application of self to duty
for which one can be handsomely remunerated, it does not sit well to be present
without the presence of productive activity to justify one’s keep even though
the situation is no fault of the principal.

As the middle
management ran around like headless chickens making some bend over backwards to
the extreme to fulfil some fleeting purpose, contrast was drawn between one and
the other.

Doing hours for
nothing can somewhat be more painful than doing nothing for hours neither case
is comfort for anyone, whether things will change is left to hope forlorn, they
don’t work like we once thought they should.

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Work environments
present interesting challenges to people as they walk and first try to
understand, then appreciate and maybe adapt to the way things are done.

Indeed, you meet
new people and you engage them tentatively to decide how best you will be able
to work together and hope that in that developing relationship you will either
adapt and be subsumed or bring a new perspective to things that might just
change things for the better.

In all the places I
have worked, I believe the force of personality is crucial to making a useful
impact whilst contributing to the team and work dynamic.

People over process

Many times, the
situation is about people, the amenable, the amiable, the pliable, the
misunderstood, the indifferent, the antithetical, the impossible, the
eccentric, the genius and sometimes the sociopath.

Each needs a model
of interaction that for me should appeal to the neutral if negative or make the
best to accentuate the positive.

Working in the
Information Technology industry, I know that there is much you can do with
computers but I do not believe that basic management issues should be offloaded
unto computing solutions when what is needed is a conversation, an email or
some resolution where someone in authority has decided to assume their
responsibilities and operate in the office that they occupy.

However, simple
processes get unnecessarily complicated by people who politicise issues
impeding the advancement and progress we all require to do our jobs whilst they
think they are doing their effectively.

The politics of inertia

We get snowed under
by puny power plays along with the constant avalanches of email that are a
multitude of words and an absence of activity with the ones needing support
left to wonder about the institutionalised dysfunction that has been allowed to
fester to be the point of grinding everything to a halt and filling all reasonable people with utter exasperation.

You get to a point
where the smartest thing is to allow the system to sort itself out else an
email that is as forthright as it should be might well be the nuclear option to
crack heads together, put boots in backsides, yield solutions but array enemies
for a future encounter.

In the end, when your
patience just about runs out, what needs to be done, needs to be done – welcome
to the global enterprise.

Monday, 4 February 2013

I always find
myself at the point where cultures conflict though it is not as obvious as it
is for those of mixed race ethnicity.

However, I am
grateful that the conflict is externalised rather than internalised but
difference is accentuated in voice and reasoning, I will not give up either to
conform because the wonder of being a product of the influence of many
cultures is that rather than get pigeon-holed, you don't get placed,
categorised or judged too harshly if you refuse to be subsumed into a dominant
cultural experience.

The inspiration of circumstance

Why have I started
this blog in this way? I just read of a second suicide of a university student
in Nigeria that no one could attribute to anything – the stories concerning the
two young men who took their lives are sketchy and peripheral and knowing how
the dominant cultural expression thinks, it is unlikely that anyone will get to
the bottom of why presumably promising, quiet and academically able young men
will take their lives.

Now, this is where
my difference is, I was born an Englishman, it has a strong imprint, part of my
formative years were spent in Nigeria amongst people who were not on my tribe
and culture and then my late teens were spent in the potpourri of diversity that
you will find in post-secondary education.

Proud of all influences

I only had to speak
and my accent betrayed a difference but when my dad said, I have always
thought like a Westerner and my brother suggested I was not really one of the
rest, though my sense of belonging was challenged the innate ability to adapt
and thrive wherever I have lived has stood me in really good stead, I belong
where I choose to belong.

Roughly, I have
spent a third of my life in England, Nigeria and the Netherlands respectively,
all with much that has influenced my outlook to life and the most important one
for me is to be more understanding of people, their circumstances, their
decisions, their persuasions and their sometimes unfortunate judgements that
fuel moralising, sententiousness and intemperate attitudes.

Understanding matters

Again, we may never
understand why those young men took their lives but knowing what I know now
about many things that I have experienced and observed of our societies, we
will need to tackle some taboo subjects to appreciate these issues better.

I remember too many
instances where what I needed was just some care and understanding when I faced
some psychologically threatening issues but the circumstances real as they were
to me were dismissed with frivolity that you internalised turmoil and found
some sort of attitude adjustment – solutions are not easy to come by.

Have I ever
contemplated suicide? I have and many times, times when you hoped the ground
will open up and swallow you than face a situation, the wrath or live through a
circumstance because you were badly behaved, you had been violated, you were
threatened or you were not performing as expected of you – I read a comment
accompanying the news of the suicide – “Everything will fail you, but Jesus
never fails. Try him today.”

Walk a yard in my shoes

Such hit-and-run philosophical
musings are hardly helpful, as we approach the Christian Easter, we should
remember that the Apostle Peter in the most trying times of his followership of
Jesus Christ denied his master thrice and his master was not even dead yet, nor
must we forget that Judas Iscariot was as much an apostle chosen amongst men
who saw all that deeds and heard all the words and still he committed suicide.

We sometimes
believe we know all things though many have hardly walked a yard in the shoes
of another nor are we the embodiment of the total experiences of the many that we
see around us. If we all told our stories to the detail necessary to sympathise
or maybe even dare to empathise if we could, we would realise that the second,
third or fourth man from us has probably seen more of life than we could ever
have the capacity to face that we would faint at a fraction of what they have
faced.

Good Samaritan aspiration

I wrote yesterday
that I do not want to be a better Christian, I would rather be just a good
Samaritan, there is much to that realisation. It is commonly said that we judge
others by their actions and ourselves by our good intentions.

The Good Samaritan
matched his good intentions with his actions, he dug deep into his humanity
putting himself in the state of the wounded stranger and doing all he could do
to help that stranger than the more religious people who left the stranger for dead.

I dare say that the
more religion we profess, the more likely we would leave people for dead, judge
their actions, find reason to castigate them, give foundation to our prejudices
and boldly expound on our bigotries.

Let your humanity show through

The core of
humanity is a different thing, it is not subject to any belief system it is
just the heart connecting to that of another thinking this simple thing – If I
were met with the circumstances the other person is in, what will I do and what
will I hope others will do for me?

Our society
suffering the turmoil of negativity of abuse, expectations, criticism, dangers,
threats, mistakes and much else piles on pressures that the simplicity of words
will not assuage, it is involvement, engagement, listening, touching, hugging,
understanding that some people need to see beyond their clouds – before you
so readily judge and condemn, be aware that that invincible and inviolable man
within you might just in the right theatre be like the person we have suddenly rubbished, excoriated and condemned with disinterest and indifference thinking we are being helpful.

In all that I have
written here, I have not even begun to tackle the issues that I had to mind when
I started this blog, let us read this as an introduction, there is much to talk
about on these suicides – if anything, just say a prayer for anyone you have
until now been unable to bless for reasons of your religious beliefs without
which you might have been more understanding.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

I have found that
the greatest quest I face is understanding my humanity better and knowing the
vocation that allows me to give it the best expression.

There are
weaknesses I have that I have accepted as part of who I am and there are
strengths I am learning to use to become more than I have even imagined I could
ever be.

As I thought about
this, I realised that in accepting what might be termed unusual by others but
has become the norm of my personality and honouring the beliefs that others
find difficult but are the clearest expression of humanity of have seen of the
incarnate that melds the spiritual with the natural with mental agency, I am
perfectly imperfect and incompletely complete.

Driven to strive

I am driven to
achieve and attain being very aware of the fact that I can only do so much and
what I cannot do, the means arrives to fulfil that much that I am caught in awe
and gratitude of influences that urge me on to success.

My body and my
spirit has always been at war, I have won and lost many battles unsure of
whether victor or vanquished are either spirit or body because they are both me
and beyond the long truces we must find peace, calm, accommodation and
acceptance down paths than do not represent the journeys the majority tread in
their own lives.

Humanity is greater than religion

This morning as
prepared to attend church with all the obstacles thrown my way by circumstances
well beyond my control, I persevered because within that fellowship laid an
assurance of sustenance for my famished soul.

I could find no
greater or profound statement than then ordinariness of this thought that I
shared. I now realise I do not want to be a better Christian; I just want to be
a good Samaritan. That is the embodiment of humanity that appeals to me most.

Three weeks ago I
embarked on a journey to a little village, Ewloe [fascinating Wikipedia story] with castle ruins of its own on
North Wales, just west of Chester,
a more significant city just on the border of between England and Wales.

It was not the
easiest to prepare for, the contracts were finally signed just before the
weekend though, I had just about set up banking facilities in the UK, having
eventually acquired documents that included that essential proof of address
that UK residents require to open a bank account.

Nothing is impossible

Then, there was the
matter of getting there and the means to live there, tough, it was, as despair
wrestled with hope that as I walked down a road to see some friends, I calmed
myself saying things will turn out right completely oblivious of how things
could really turn with the risk that I would not be able to take up the
appointment.

The miracle of life
and hope does have a way of bringing providence to those who refuse to worry as
one also learns the subtle difference between the humiliation of begging and
the humility of asking.

That one will not
beg is not haughty and it is not the loss of pride when one asks I appreciated
what I needed and I asked those closest to me if they could help.

All is possible

Out of their
generosity, I found much, the ticket, accommodation, something to spare and
enough to get by. It meant I could concentrate on what had taken me from the
city to the country and hope for the best.

I only had enough
for a week and a bit, within that, there were nights when a fast was as good as
supper but I believed it will all turn out right because that is just that way
journeys are, long, arduous, testing, trying, difficult, adventurous, fun and
satisfying – there is a destination to get to not forgetting the prospect of a
story to tell.

In the end, it was
three weeks before I returned home, by which time I had paid all the bills and
planned for the next four weeks.

It is called life

In my wake, I have
shared of my somewhat ordinary and mundane story, the vagaries of what we all
call life, it happens to all of us in different ways for all sorts of reasons,
some known and many unexplained, but for those who decide they are in this life
to live it, they begin to write for themselves a tale that has a unique voice
of expression and fulfilment that hopefully encourages others to live their
lives to the full.

As I returned to
London this weekend without much time to meet up with the many I love and
cherish, I spoke to most of them and met up with a few of them. They give me
joy, the company is like an elixir of life, the sound of their voices bring
calm to the clamour of nature and the thoughts of them makes one realise that
life has great purpose that we must never fail to lose sight of.

In all, there is
something I noticed hugs can do that words cannot be found to express; it heals
the heart, nourishes the soul and maybe even warms the body.

I have friends like
lovers, dear and good – for me, life is worth every single day and that is what
matters.

Repost.Us

My ShareThis

Akin about things too concerning to ignore

I have many stories to tell, I am English of Nigerian parentage, I lived in the Netherlands for 12 years, returned to the UK recently but still have wander lust - the rest is somewhere online, most likely in on blogs.