It’s now been over a month since The Event. My eye no longer resembles a plum, Himself is able to cope without pain medication, and while I still have a lump on my bonce and he’ll be hopping around on crutches for a good while yet, life is slowly returning to normal.

There’s been no word from the police, and I’m not surprised, really. Given the lack of CCTV footage from traffic deterrent cameras that don’t actually record anything and only a single two-weeks-later eFit to go on, the only way we’ll ever see that scumbag brought to justice is if he gets pulled in for a subsequent crime and has a DNA swab taken. Also probably unlikely.

In light of all that, some people have asked me why I made that video. Trolls, mainly. Trolls insinuating that the video was a waste of time, that I was looking for attention, that I was trying to get hits on my blog. Trolls that also helpfully pointed out that my room was too messy and that I could’ve washed my hair. Trolls that thought the whole thing was bloody hilarious, subsequently making parody videos of ‘me’ bawling my eyes out and pleading pathetically with the camera.

I am no stranger to trolls, and so I have taken little notice of their ignorant bleatings. However, it is perhaps pertinent to actually address why I did make that video, given the seemingly slim likelihood of it having any tangible consequence.

#1 Actually, it might have had a tangible consequence

Who’s to say that one of my Twitter followers – or one of their followers – wasn’t in the area that night and saw a dodgy looking man scurrying away from the scene of the crime, and could shed some light on his appearance, or the direction he was heading? Is it statistically unlikely? Yep. Is it impossible? No. Not even a little bit. Thanks to Twitter, people have been reunited with wedding rings lost down the side of mountains, for fuck’s sake. Why would I overlook this potential avenue of information, no matter how small? And of course I put the video on my blog – from there it’s extremely easy to contact me, and that’s where the traffic already goes anyway. Social media!

#2 I’m not going cry about it

I made that video three days after the attack. The police were dragging their heels and Andy was still in hospital. I was alone, and I was angry. The kind of angry that courses through your veins and clouds your vision. The kind of angry that makes your chest swell and your breathing irregular. The kind of angry that consumes you, if you’re not careful.

I’m not the sort of person that sits in the corner and mopes about the shit hand that life deals, so I had to do something. And with my limited resources I made a video, which was not only shared thousands and thousands of times (thus increasing the chances of someone coming forward with information), but also kicked the local police into gear thanks to the press coverage it received. If my bruised mug hadn’t been slapped all over the local papers and news sites, I might well still be waiting for them to take a statement. By actively doing something I helped to shunt this thing along, and preserved my own sanity in the immediate aftermath of it all.

#3 So actually, yeah, I did want the attention

…because I wanted people to see what had happened, and to get angry about it – to get angry about the fact that they live in a society where people do this to each other, and to get angry about the fact that one young man’s life has been trashed because they live in a society where degenerates consistently get away with this shit. Feel sorry for me if you like, but I don’t want your pity. I want you to be angry with me.

Incidentally, I assure you that I’m less-than-happy about making my visual debut looking like an actual sack of crap. If I’d wanted attention in the traditional sense, dear Trolls, then perhaps I would’ve at least washed my hair – AS YOU SO HELPFULLY POINTED OUT.

#4 But it’s not even about me

Yep, I got punched in the face and it fucking hurt, but the video wasn’t about me being punched in the face. It was about everyone who has ever been punched in the face, or had their legs broken, or worse, and has had to deal with the indescribable frustrations that follow. It was my way of putting my hand up and saying ‘Yep, this has happened and it shouldn’t have. But I’m not going to be quiet, and I’m not going to be a victim. Let’s talk about this’.

And talk about it, people did. Even now – over a month later – I’m still getting kind emails and tweets from people that have picked up on the story. The majority are from people who have had similar experiences, or are equally frustrated with their seemingly impotent hopes for justice, and yes, it’s depressing; each case of assault is merely a drop in the ocean of crime. However, nearly every single person who has approached me with their own tale has said the same thing. “Thank you for making that video. It made me feel much stronger, and less like a victim.”

9 responses to “Haters gonna hate, or, why I made THAT video”

It’s massively sucky that cretins out there make you feel like you have to justify that vid. It was massively brave; it was proactive; and, as you say, there was a chance that it could have brought the fucktard to account. The trolls can go hang.

You aren’t famous until someone Autotunes you, unfortunately. However, given that an Autotuned woman discussing assault and getting slammed by the knuckle-dragging “witticisms” of the Reddit reading shaft-tuggers on Youtube is basically the description of a Rhianna song, you’d be minted.

I’m sorry that on top of the crap that happened to you you have to put up with crap from idiot trolls. I’m glad you channelled your anger into the video- it was pertinent and made a lot of people talk about things they don’t usually talk about. Well said, well done and hugs to you :D

Making that video was incredibly brave and I’m disgusted (on your behalf) at how some people have used it as an outlet for their own frustrations. Thinking of you and Him, and hope you’re both 100% soonest.