Did you think that it was stupid when Hollywood started delaying finished films for six months just so that they could convert them to 3D? Well, the thundering intellects of Hollywood have squeezed another innovation out of their churning bowels, and oh this might be the moistest one yet, steaming with a fetid cloud that is toxic to IQs over forty.

3D. Game. Shows.

Jesus Christ, this sounds like something right out of Idiocracy; I mean, haven't you always said to yourself, "Self, 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' is almost perfect, but what it really needs is another dimension?" It would just give it a certain je ne sais quoi if I was wearing clunky glasses and it seemed like Regis' nose was actually in my crotch.

One could make an extraordinarily weak case for using 3D on some of those horrible physical comedy game shows on Nickelodeon or ABC Family, those elaborate contraption-filled obstacle course competitions that involve out of shape people getting knocked off of narrow ledges by Styrofoam wrecking balls or some such. There are, in a literal sense, three dimensions that could be conveyed. But that would make far too much sense for the clever suits at Sony, not when they could add two and two to get five. Their proposed first couple of game shows: "Jeopardy" and "Wheel of Fortune."

They want to use 3D technology on shows that revolve around displaying 2D text on the screen. Exactly what do they think 3D will add to this? Will the vowels hide behind the consonants?