Are there some simple steps we can make towards living a happier life? I think so. One of the most important ones for me is: Practice Forgiveness -

There’s an old saying I just made up which says, “Not forgiving someone is like chaining a rock to your ankle, and jumping into the ocean. You may be able to drag it back to shore, but you’ll never be able float.”

Whenever I have unforgiveness in my heart, I’ve energetically tied myself to the very person I’m not forgiving. Ever notice how your mind just won’t let you forget (for long) that person who you think did you such great harm? Like a dog with a bone, your thoughts go back to that time, place and event, replaying the imagined offense like a bad movie on TNT.

And while this can produce great harm in our own lives (including physical ailments, stress, anger and addictive behavior), the other person is oblivious.

About the word “imagine”. No doubt about it, we all can suffer some real harm at the hands of another. But it’s not so much the events in our lives that shape us, it’s how we think about those events. Sure, you may have been abused by an ex and that is an injust and terrible thing. BUT you’re not a victim after that event unless you choose to be; unless you think that you are.

Each of us has it within us to transform those situations, and view it in such a way as to grow stronger from it. We may need some help, but we can do it, and help others to as well.

How do I practice forgiveness? One, I recognize that unforgiveness is really just repetitive thoughts which trap me in the past. Sure, I may have been ‘victimized’ once, but by remembering that event over and over, I’m literally victimizing myself. Managing my thoughts is the key.

I have learned to recognize this important Truth: we are all doing the best we can with what we have at any given moment. This includes the person who hurt me. If they had more understanding about their actions, they wouldn’t have harmed me. Like one Great Master said, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Viewing the incident from this Higher perspective allows us to come back into What Is, and actually extend compassion to all involved.

Sometimes we might want to verbalize this process of ‘letting go’. We could do this with the individual in question, or by ourselves - each case is different. Do whatever works best for you. Say it. Pray it. Write it down. One powerful practice is to write down all of your feelings about the situation in a letter for only your eyes. Then, verbally forgive and release the person, and burn the paper as a symbollic act. It’s gone - history - and from this moment on, you can choose to view that event from an empowered “Present” perspective.

Like dark threads in a tapestry that provide shape and texture and contrast, the hurtful events in our lives can be used to created great beauty. Forgive. We can do it. And let’s not forget to forgive ourselves in the process.