There’s a line from a Portlandia episode that I find myself quoting a lot: “Everybody on the Internet, they’re not having as great a time as you think they are.” I feel that this is never more true than at the holidays. Pictures of beautiful trees and perfectly foamed lattes and boots in the fresh snow may make you feel as though you’re inadequate, but they are poised vignettes. Instagram and Pinterest and Twitter are all true and false at the same time; social media is the cat in Schrodinger’s box. Everything is nothing. Nothing is everything. We present and represent ourselves in a way that we want to be viewed. We show you the best parts of ourselves and our lives. But there are things we don’t talk about.

This was the post I was going to write today. I even had pictures. Behold: my beautiful tree.

Behold: what happens from the dog’s tail wagging, even if I sweep every day (I don’t sweep every day. I’m lazy. I’m getting truthful here. Watch out, there’s more of that to come.)

And literally as I sat down to write this post, to analyze pets and family-time and holiday expectations and our role as social media users and creators there was a pretty serious accident in my house. I don’t really want to get into the specifics (I’m vague booking on a blog) but the end result is that we do not have Albie in our lives anymore.

Loss of any loved one is hard, but at the holidays it’s harder. How do we celebrate the good times (come on) when we feel like something or someone is missing? How do we see others’ joy and not let our own sadness overwhelm everyone? There’s a saying, “be kind for everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know” and I think that’s probably true. The holidays are about more than gifts and food (although those are awesome), and now more than ever- not just because of the holidays, but also because of the political state of the world- we should remember to be kind. Hug your kids and dogs a little tighter. Smile at the people on the street. Whatever joy and love you have in your world, pay that forward. And remember not to let other people make you feel like what you have and what you offer is not enough. You are enough. You are more than enough, on the internet and in real life.