Marriage Counselors North Pole AK

Marriage counselors help you deal with marriage difficulties and build a healthy long-lasting relationship. Read on to learn more information on marriage counseloers in North Pole, AK that give access to marriage therapy, marriage crisis solutions, tips on communication skills, and family therapy, as well as advice and content on pre-marital counseling.

Are you making time for your marriage?

by Stephanie Foster

It's easy to lose track of the important things when you are raising a family. It's hard enough to pay enough attention to your marriage when you have children; if you add working from home to the mix, it can become nearly impossible. Yet a strong marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.

There are some simple ways to make sure your spouse knows how much he or she means to you, however. These tips won't solve all your problems, but they will help you to remember how much your spouse means to you.

1. Say "I love you" often. My husband and I say these three little words every day. We start the day with them, and the day ends with them. It means so much to hear the words, even when you know your spouse loves you.

2. Be honest with each other about your needs. If your spouse is not doing something you wish he or she would do, say so, whether it's helping with housework or cuddling. Don't be confrontational, of course.

3. Show appreciation for the things your spouse does. Not only is saying "thank you" a good example to set for your kids, it's one of those small things that makes a huge difference in how people feel about what they've done.

4. Take time to listen. Make sure you know what is going on in your spouse's life. Emotional support is utterly vital in a good marriage.

5. Get time away from the kids together. It doesn't matter if it's for an hour or a few days, just do it. You need to remind yourselves what you mean to each other, and to just relax in each other's company. No need for fancy plans, dinner and a movie or even just a walk will do. Try for at least once a month, better yet, once a week.

6. If you work from home, don't let your job or business run your entire life. Keep a schedule, just as you would at a traditional job. It's easy to let these things get out of hand, but remember why you're working from home in the first place and keep your priorities straight.

Beatitudes of Marriage

1. Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate, considerate, and loving after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.

2. Blessed are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous to one another as they are to their friends.

3. Blessed are they who love their mates more than any other person in the world, and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vow of a lifetime of fidelity and mutual helpfulness to one another.

4. Blessed are they who attain parenthood, for children are a heritage of the Lord.

5. Blessed are they who remember to thank God for their food before they partake of it, and who set apart some time each day for the reading of the Bible and for prayer.

6. Blessed are those mates who never speak loudly to one another, and who make their home a place "where seldom is heard a discouraging word."

7. Blessed are the husband and wife who faithfully attend the worship service of the church, and who work together in the church for the advancement of Christ's kingdom.

8. Blessed are the husband and wife who can work out the problems of adjustment without interference from relatives.

9. Blessed is the couple which has complete understanding about financial matters, and have worked out a perfect partnership, with all money under the control of both.

10. Blessed are the husband and wife who humbly dedicate their lives and their homes to Christ, and who practice the teachings of Christ in the home by being unselfish, loyal and loving. [compared from Book]

Source: Saju C Varghese

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Marriage and Health

Marriage and Health by Poonam Sharma, Ph.D.

A bad marriage or long-term relationship can have detrimental effects on your health, while a good one can protect you from disease and speed recovery. Sociologist Linda Waite, Ph.D., says, "Marriage is sort of like a life preserver or a seat belt. We can put it exactly in the same category as eating a good diet, getting exercise, and not smoking."

John Gottman, Ph.D., a well-respected psychologist and marriage researcher reports that an unhappy marriage can increase your chances of becoming ill by 35% and take four years off your life! He believes "working on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity than working out at a health club".

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Although many of us believe that anger is the root cause of unhappy relationships, Gottman notes that it is not conflict itself that is the problem, but how we handle it. Venting anger constructively can actually do wonders to clear the air and get a relationship back in balance. However, conflict does become a problem when it is characterized by the presence of what Gottman calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:" criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

1. Criticism. Criticism involves attacking your partner's personality or character, rather than focusing on the specific behavior that bothers you. It is healthy to air disagreements, but not to attack your spouse's personality or character in the process. This is the difference between saying, "I'm upset that you didn't take out the trash" and saying, "I can't believe you didn't take out the trash. You're just so irresponsible." In general, women are more likely to pull this horseman into conflict.

2. Contempt. Contempt is one step up from criticism and involves tearing down or being insulting toward your partner. Contempt is an open sign of disrespect. Examples of contempt include: putting down your spouse, rolling your eyes or sneering, or tearing down the other person with so-called "humor."

3. Defensiveness. Adopting a defensive stance in the middle of conflict may be a natural response, but does not help the relationship. When a person is defensive, he or she often experiences a great deal of tension and has difficulty tuning into what is being said. Denying responsibility, making excuses, or meeting one complaint with another are all examples of defensiveness.

4. Stonewalling. People who stonewall simply refuse to respond. Occasional stonewalling can be healthy, but as a typical way of interacting, stonewalling during conflict can be destructive to the marriage. When you stonewall on a regular basis, you are pulling yourself out of the marriage, rather than working out your problems. Men tend to engage in stonewalling much more often than women do.

All couples will engage in these types of behaviors at some point in their marriage, but when the four horsemen take permanent residence, the relationship has a ...