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It’s time, once again, for what might be the best holiday of them all for grown-ups – Thanksgiving. That goes double if you aren’t trusted to prepare food by your family. You get awesome food, and it’s expected that you are going to eat a ton of it. If you love football, there are some genuinely good matchups this year. Don’t get me wrong, Christmas is fun, but that usually includes all of the same food prep, plus you are up late assembling/arraying presents around the tree, and if you are church-going folk, you’ve got that too. It doesn’t mean that turkey day is totally without drama. Here’s my expected timeline for lunch/dinner tomorrow:

12:30pm – Football!

12:39pm – Children want to play Wii on the same TV. Intense negotiations ensue. I make sure the only game they can find is Wii Fit. They lose interest.

1:58pm – The first call to go to the table to eat goes out. Since it involves 19 people aged 1 to 91, it takes some time.

2:19pm – An adorable child says Grace.

2:20pm – The other five do so as well, not wanting to be left out.

2:22pm – The food is being passed, and plates are assembled for those sitting at the ‘kids table’. I take a little bit of everything you eat to be nice to those that brought it.

2:28pm – Nephew knocks over his drink.

2:32pm – Upon taking seconds, I just take the things you really wanted in the first place (turkey, canned cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes with cheese and bacon bits). Also, the first salvo of crescent rolls are gone.

2:47pm – May or may not have thirds, possibly dependent on more rolls. Other nephew knocks his drink over.

3:111pm – Stuffed beyond all memory.

3:14pm – Desserts are passed. Based on the previous note, it is ill-advised to take one at this point. I take three.

At this point, the evening becomes a blur. Napping is attempted and thwarted by *gasp* conversation. More football watching is attempted, but in my sleepy, bloated state I am unable to stop the children from putting in a movie. Luckily they have good taste and it’s either a Pixar movie or Despicable Me. The night will end early for me as I’m working really, really early the next morning.