dream meanings

If you’ll recall from this post a couple years ago, I tend to have weird dreams. I also like to evaluate those dreams using DreamMoods.com so I can pretend I’m not concerned by the subject matter. That being said, I want to take you on a journey through a dream I had about a month ago, which may or may not be one of my strangest dreams ever.

Let us begin.

So the dream starts off with me sitting at a table with my sister, Natalee, my cousin, Cory, a girl named Brooke (whom I’ve never met or seen in my life) and a middle aged man who is not only a stranger as well, but also nameless.

The meeting is just like any other meeting—save for the fact that it revolves around our upcoming trip to space. As in OUTER space. Why are we going to outer space, you ask? Because our family friends just moved there and have invited us to visit, obviously. And when I get an invitation to space, I take it—and apparently invite strangers to come along.

Now, seeing as we’re going to space it is obvious why we would need to hold a meeting. No, not because of the whole earth to space transition—because apparently that’s “not a big deal” and “I’ve done this many times.” No, the key reason for the meeting is that we are going to be using a different “portal” than usual to get there, and I wanted everyone to know ahead of time.

At this news, Cory and Natalee nod. This is no big deal for them. They just need the when and the where and they will be ready to…you know…portal it up. Brooke on the other hand is NOT DOWN. I get it. I mean, we all have a portal that works best for us, am I right? In the end, Brooke and the nameless dude bail, leaving Natalee, Cory and I in the conference room, where we crawl through a tiny hole that leads to space. (Feel free to give me a call, NASA, I remember what the conference room looked like.)

Once in space, we float through our friends’ new digs, which is mostly a glass sphere with round buttons all over the inside. While I wasn’t visibly upset in the dream, upon waking up I realized that of the six people that belong to the family in real life, only three of them were in my dream. The other three people in attendance were 100% strangers, however, dream-me didn’t seem to notice. #alarming

After getting all of the, “hey, yeah, we’re in space, cool floating pod, do you like it better than your two-story earth house?” type small talk out of the way, we decide to do what anyone would do the first day they were in space: play board games. (Because who needs gravity to hold the pieces to the board?!)

The next morning I wake up leaning diagonally into a wall, yawning and stretching like it was the best night of my life. I then tell my sister I would like to go to church. Naturally she gives me the lowdown, explaining, “lol Kim, you can’t do that, we’re in space,” to which I reply with a crawl back through the hole in the wall, because #portalsarelife.

Once I’m back on earth, I start walking. The portal dropped me off about two miles from my church (in my actual, real life neighborhood) so I take the same route I do every Sunday. Once I’m about a half of a mile away however, I’m stopped. Is it because there’s a roadblock? Is there an earthquake? Am I hit by a car?

No.

I stop—and I mean, come to a DEAD HALT—because there is guy putting on a reptile show for kids. A REPTILE GUY. And do you know what I do next? I hold a snake. Do you know what I do after? I GO BACK TO SPACE.

I can’t even tell you where the portal was this time. From what I can tell, dream-me may or may not have the ability to teleport on command. To make matters worse, when I get back to space and my sister asks me how church was and I say, “oh, I actually didn’t make it,” she says what no one should ever have to say, “Kim, did you get stopped by the reptile guy AGAIN?”

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I wish I could tell you I was able to figure this one out. But even after I broke down certain parts I was arguably more confused than when I started.

To dream that a stranger is pretending to be someone you know (i.e. when the family I know in real life was not quite the family I found in space) suggests that the person you know is not who you thought they were. So I’m boundlessly creative, but my friends are imposters…okay…

To see or play board games signifies “progress in life.” Now, I could argue my in-dream life is making much more progress than my actual life, seeing as I can teleport on a dime between earth and space and everything. But if we’re only talking about real life, I suppose recognizing my boundless creativity and my imposter friends would be considered forward progress so, okay, I’m still with you.

To see a reptile in your dream symbolizes your basic urges, instincts and suppressed desires. Ummm…yeah, okay, I think this is a safe place to officially draw the line. Let’s just call it a (REALLY) weird dream, okay?

We’re talking, “hey Kim you should really get this checked out by a trained professional, or have someone you trust watch to see if you unconsciously take acid after you fall asleep” type of dreams. But not to worry, a few years back I discovered DreamMoods.com*, which is like a dictionary for dreams chalked with seemingly millions of decoded words and actions, and I’ve been using it ever since to try and make sense of the madness.

*Note: I am in no way sponsored by the folks over at DreamMoods and they definitely didn’t ask me to write this. I’m just a girl, waking up every morning, wondering what the f$%& was going through that unconscious mind of mine.

For example:

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Teeth Falling Out

In the weeks before I started middle school I had this recurring dream where all of my teeth were falling out. And while I thought this was strange, I was also 10 years old, so everything was pretty strange. It wasn’t until I had the same dream in the weeks leading up to high school that I really started to question it, thus leading me to DreamMoods.com. Turns out, dreaming that your teeth are falling out is very common whenever you’re about to make a big transition in your life, which would explain my having it again before I started college, a new internship, a new job and before I moved out of my parents’ house. So if you ever find yourself in the middle of a dream where you’ve accidentally signed up for the NHL dental plan, don’t fret, you’re probably just nervous about that big promotion or the end of your weeklong Netflix binge.

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Topless

A few months back I had this dream where I was just wandering around topless. Just strolling around sans t-shirt like it was the most normal thing in the world. At one point I even went hiking, leaving all inhibition (and bras) behind. Now, being a pretty modest person in the non dream world, you can imagine this was a little surprising to wake up to, though, perhaps not quite as surprising as the supposed meaning: To dream that you are topless signifies your way of showing and exhibiting love. You may be inviting love toward your direction.

Cliff Notes version: Boobs Out = Heart Open.

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Riding a bike up a hill in order find a harmonica at my parents’ house

Take a second to reread the title, then take another second to understand that I’m being 100% serious, now let’s move on. Right, so, this one is a little more difficult to understand because it has a few key elements that stick out.

Firstly, I’m riding a bicycle.

To dream that you are riding a bicycle signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings.

But wait I was riding the bike up a hill, and I can still vividly remember how difficult it was. My legs felt like they weighed 4,000 pounds and the hill seemed the equivalent of Everest.

If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties about making it on your own.

Oh. Okay, I mean, not quite the upbeat quest for balance it once was, but there’s still truth there.

Now what about the whole reason I was struggling up this hill in the first place: the quest!

To dream that you are searching for something signifies the need to find something that is missing or needed in your life.

….uhhh and that’s a harmonica?

The dream may be analogous to your search for love, spiritual enlightenment, peace or even a solution to a problem.

Oh, okay. But what about the harmonica?

To see or hear a harmonica in your dream suggests that you need to let more joy and pleasure come into your life.

What if I can’t see or hear the harmonica? Does that mean I don’t need any more joy? Do I have too much joy in my life? Is this because of the whole boobs out situation? Because I didn’t really have a say in that. Also, if we review, is this dream seriously suggesting that I’m experiencing anxieties about searching for a key element of my life that is missing, which may or may not be the lack of joy and pleasure?

Is it saying I’m nervous about not finding a lack of joy in my life?!

Oh my gosh, am I the Grinch?

No, wait, even he felt joy through other people’s pain.

AM I MORE DEMENTED THAN THE GRINCH?!

You know what, let’s forget about this one. I’m sure it’s nothing. I probably just fell asleep thinking of the stationary bike at the gym and uhh…had the harmonica on my mind because I listened to Piano Man the other day.

Yeah, that’s it.

It’s all Billy Joel’s fault.

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Necessary Conclusion: DreamMoods.com is great and can provide hours of dream cracking entertainment, but don’t let it ruin your day/life. Please don’t quit your job because you had a dream about a melted ice cream cone, thus causing you to whole-heartedly believe you have failed to realize your true hopes and desires. Truth is, you probably just left a pint of ice cream on the counter and your brain thought of a creative way to remind you. But what do I know, really? I’m just a topless, toothless girl that hates joy and can’t ride a bike up a hill.