Why I must be a racist

The Joe Wilson controversy has caused me to spend some time soul searching. After examining the 6,000+ posts written on The Lid and here at American Thinker over the past few years and after conducting some deep self-reflection, there is just one conclusion, they are correct...I am a racist.

Because I was concerned that Barack Obama associated with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, I am a racist.

Because I think that Joe Wilson's "you lie" comment was true, but they way he said it and the venue he said it in was inappropriate, I am a racist.

Because I am worried that the health care plans pushed by President Obama will diminish the quality of medical care for my Caucasian parents and children (and end up raising their taxes too) I am a racist.

Because I think Jimmy Carter is a horse's ass for defending President Obama by calling his detractors racist, I am a racist.

Because I believe that David Letterman is no longer funny because all he does is "suck up" to Barack Obama, I am a racist

Because I believe that in exposing some of the scary people around President Obama (like Science Czar John Holdren or Regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein), Glen Beck is performing a great service to America, I am a racist.

Because I believe Barack Obama has surrounded himself with Anti-Israel advisers such as Samantha Powers, I am a racist.

Because I believe that the stimulus bill created by Nancy Pelosi and pushed through by Barack Obama was bad for America, I am a racist.

Because I believe my Congressman, Steve Israel is wrong when he keeps voting for the President's agenda without reading the bills, I am a racist.

Because I believe that "news reporters" who blindly advocate for the President like Charlie Gibson, Katie Couric and Keith Olbermann, are defaming the memory of real reporters like Edward R. Murrow, I am a racist.

Because I believe that Congressman Jerrold Nadler is wrong to stop congress from investigating ACORN, I am a racist.

Because I think that Wade Rathke set up ACORN as a multi-pronged criminal enterprise, I am a racist.

Because I believe that President Barack Obama was correct when he called Kanye West a jackass, I am a racist.

By now you must have seen the pattern I saw upon self-reflection. Look at all the names in bold. The people above that I knocked all have one thing in common. Each and every one of them has a Caucasian mother.

You see, upon self-reflection I have determined that I must be a racist; I must hate everyone who has at least one White Parent.

Oh and one more, because I think that even I am a racist, and since I am Caucasian and bash so many others who have Caucasian DNA such as President Obama, Sammy Benoit is a racist.

The Joe Wilson controversy has caused me to spend some time soul searching. After examining the 6,000+ posts written on The Lid and here at American Thinker over the past few years and after conducting some deep self-reflection, there is just one conclusion, they are correct...I am a racist.

Because I was concerned that Barack Obama associated with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, I am a racist.

Because I think that Joe Wilson's "you lie" comment was true, but they way he said it and the venue he said it in was inappropriate, I am a racist.

Because I am worried that the health care plans pushed by President Obama will diminish the quality of medical care for my Caucasian parents and children (and end up raising their taxes too) I am a racist.

Because I think Jimmy Carter is a horse's ass for defending President Obama by calling his detractors racist, I am a racist.

Because I believe that David Letterman is no longer funny because all he does is "suck up" to Barack Obama, I am a racist

Because I believe that in exposing some of the scary people around President Obama (like Science Czar John Holdren or Regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein), Glen Beck is performing a great service to America, I am a racist.

Because I believe Barack Obama has surrounded himself with Anti-Israel advisers such as Samantha Powers, I am a racist.

Because I believe that the stimulus bill created by Nancy Pelosi and pushed through by Barack Obama was bad for America, I am a racist.

Because I believe my Congressman, Steve Israel is wrong when he keeps voting for the President's agenda without reading the bills, I am a racist.

Because I believe that "news reporters" who blindly advocate for the President like Charlie Gibson, Katie Couric and Keith Olbermann, are defaming the memory of real reporters like Edward R. Murrow, I am a racist.

Because I believe that Congressman Jerrold Nadler is wrong to stop congress from investigating ACORN, I am a racist.

Because I think that Wade Rathke set up ACORN as a multi-pronged criminal enterprise, I am a racist.

Because I believe that President Barack Obama was correct when he called Kanye West a jackass, I am a racist.

By now you must have seen the pattern I saw upon self-reflection. Look at all the names in bold. The people above that I knocked all have one thing in common. Each and every one of them has a Caucasian mother.

You see, upon self-reflection I have determined that I must be a racist; I must hate everyone who has at least one White Parent.

Oh and one more, because I think that even I am a racist, and since I am Caucasian and bash so many others who have Caucasian DNA such as President Obama, Sammy Benoit is a racist.