"That's
remarkable. And I sucked on a breath mint before doing this interview."

"A
tic-tac, actually. Peppermint. Only one and half calories."

"Fantastic.
So tell me, what made you want to become a superhero sidekick?"

"Well,
Matt, I've always wanted to give back to the community. You know...go out there
and really make a difference in the
world."

"Really?"

"No.
Not really. I just joined H.E.R.O. to meet girls."

"Ha
ha. And have you? Met any girls, that is?"

"Well,
there is this one. But we actually met before. She gave me a bloody nose."

"She
sounds absolutely charming. So you're saying, though, that you aren't interested in saving the
world."

"Not
at all. I'd love to save the world. I mean, it's not like we've got extras...ha
ha ha."

"Ha
ha ha."

"Heh...ahem.
It's just, I'm only a sidekick, you know. And not exactly your
savior-of-all-mankind type."

"Because
of your rather limited powers?"

"Well...yes..."

"And
your skinny biceps..."

"I
have free weights in the basement."

"And
the fact that you've never actually thrown a punch in your life..."

"I've
thrown them...they just didn't land
anywhere."

"And
still you insist on being a
sidekick."

"Matt—have
you ever opened a box at Christmas and gotten something that you don't
recognize? I mean, you have no idea what it is or what it's good for? Maybe
it's a kitchen utensil or some new fangled kind of screwdriver. But you just
look at it and think, wow, this is cool. I'm sure I could do something with
this."

"No."

"No?"

"No.
Never."

"Yeah.
Whatever. The point is, I know I can put my talents to good use. I just have to
be paired up with the right Super, you know. Someone who complements me, who
makes up for my weaknesses."

"You
mean someone strong and powerful and good
at fighting crime?"

"Yeah.
Something like that."

"Got
it. And what do you say to all the recent naysayers who claim that sidekicks
are more trouble than they are worth?"

"I
say they suck."

"The
sidekicks?"

"The
naysayers."

"But
I have this quote here, from John Reagan, an expert on supernormal history who
says, quote, 'The litany of failures, from the Sparrow to Impulsive Girl to The
Friction Kid, prove that superhero sidekicks are, in fact, a bane to the
crime-fighting community, hobbling the heroes who are now additionally burdened
with saving one more lost soul."

"Impulse
Girl."

"Hm?"

"Her
name was Impulse Girl, not Impulsive Girl. And it wasn't her fault that The
Clobberer's heart exploded. She was just trying to make him punch faster. How
was she supposed to know he had arteriosclerosis?"

"Still,
you have to admit: Sidekicks don't exactly have the best reputation."

"And
that's exactly what H.E.R.O. is for. To train us to become skilled
crime-fighters in our own right. Heroes who fight alongside our partners, not
drag them down."

"And
speaking of which: Have you gotten your assignment yet? Do you know what Super
you will be teaming up with?"

"Well,
it's classified, of course, but...what the heck, I think I can tell you. I'm
paired up with the Titan. I actually have the letter in the back pocket of my
jeans."

"The Titan? But nobody's seen or heard
from in ages."

"I
know, right? I'm just fortunate to have the opportunity to work with such a
great hero. He was always my favorite growing up. I have his first edition holo
card."

"So
jealous. So do you think we will be seeing you and the Titan out on the streets
anytime soon?"

"I
still have a lot to learn, Matt, but, yeah, I'm sure we will save the world
eventually."

"If
the Fox doesn't beat you to it, that is..."

"Yeah.
She's pretty awesome, too."

"Pretty
awesome? Have you seen that thing she does with her eyes? My god! You don't
think someone like that, and someone like me?"

"No."

"No?"

"No.
Never."

"Right
then. Sensationalist, it was great talking with you and we wish you the best of
luck in your future heroic endeavors."

"Thank
you, Matt. It was a pleasure talking to you."

"And
you keep an eye on that girl of yours."

"I
sure will."

I paused
and wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror to get a better look at myself,
setting down the toothbrush I had been pretending was a mic. My face flushed
pink from embarrassment, though there was no one around to hear me. Downstairs
my parents were still trying to figure out how to use their new coffee grinder.
They'd spilled the beans. Still, it was stupid, standing here in my underwear,
talking to myself. Who was I kidding?

I
wonder if he ever did this. The Titan, that is. Did he ever stand in front of
the mirror and interview himself. Probably not. More the strong silent type. I
couldn't wait to meet him in person. Soon, Mr. Masters said, though with him
time was especially relative. Still, it made me nervous, knowing he was out
there. My hero.

I
walked to my room and picked out a shirt to wear. I briefly considered stuffing
my mask in my pocket, but I didn't think I would need it. I was just going to
hang out with friends.

It was
bowling tonight.

To find out what
happens when the Sensationalist and the Titan get together, pick up a copy of Sidekicked. You can also learn more by visiting
www.johndavidanderson.org or on Facebook at JohnDavidAndersonAuthor.Be sure and enter to win below!