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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Ten random things...

Ten random things about me that you will probably wish I'd kept to myself...

1. I almost graduated from college with a masters degree instead of a BA because, although I had 20 units more than I needed to graduate, I had too many units in English. They had to re-name a graduate English course in sci-fi as 'humanities' in order to get me to squeak through.

2. Including my present job, I've held 8 jobs. I've, uhm, been fired from three of them. (Me?)

3. Mate and I were eighteen when we met, 19 when we started dating, 20 when we moved in together, and 21 when we got married. I've been sleeping with this man for more than half my life, and I still totally resent the fact that the cave troll keeps trying to sleep between us.

4. Our 'clean pile' of laundry is approximately 2 1/2 feet x 3 1/2 feet x 6 feet--that's more than a cubic yard of laundry. I haven't seen the rug in that room since I was on maternity leave with our youngest child.

5. I've named two of my children after knight's from Arthur's Round Table, one of the girl's from a fairy tale and the other one from Lord of the Rings. If they ever change their names in rebellion, it's going to be to something like "James" or "Mary".

6. I've saved every response the yarn harlot has ever sent me from her blog. I've saved a number of e-mails from you people, too--I don't take friends for granted.

7. When I was seven years old, I came home and found that my stepmother had cooked the pet rabbit for dinner--it was a Bohemian dish called 'Bomachke'. Dad and I hadn't actually eaten meat for MONTHS (we lived on Top Ramen)...it wasn't bad.

8. I've owned a cat (of one sort or another) since I was three.

9. When I was Ladybug's age, my dad used to party with Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters.

10. I have the world's crappiest, most schizophrenic, weirdo, hard-to-read, psychotic genius handwriting of anyone I have ever met. When I was in high school, I wrote a 24 page epic poem that RHYMED and I made five people--two of them distant relatives that I've met, like, three times, read. You will never know my shame.

11. One of the worst things I ever did that I never told mom and dad about until later was go out into a storm when I was supposed to be staying with my crazy friend Wendy because it was too wet to go out into the worst fucking flood of the last 25 years. (1986--look it up.)My crazy friend Wendy kept horses at friend's house, about six miles from where she was working as a nanny. A boatload of unfortunate horses were drowned at the nearby fairgrounds because no one had let them out of the stalls, and she panicked and HAD to go check on her horses and there we were, driving her big blue mercury lemon into water so deep, the lamas at the nearby Snooty Lama company were swimming over the damned fence. The Mercury Lemon died, and we had to walk three miles to her horses--I was in my bare feet (having worn dumbass-kid shoes to school that day). You don't know who your friends are until you drag each other three miles in thigh (or waist--she's short) deep water singing songs from Miami Vice.

...damn. And I thought I'd eaten ramen to the point where I couldn't take it any more. I was nevernever desperate enough to eat the pets. Then again, when I was eating ramen, my pet was a betta fish. Not a lot of meat on a betta fish...

Math is one of the most vastly overrated concepts in the universe. You don't need to be good at it to be a good person, and I think the bloggers who are bad at math are more interesting. Granted, I'm pretty bad with math, too, but that has absolutely nothing to do with it. I swear!

About Me

I am creative, distracted, and terribly weird. I love my children to distraction, and I love my hobbies even when they piss me off. I come from a double line of extremely creative, intelligent people who hated authority so much they dodged higher education, and I married a wonderful man who is quiet, conservative, devestatingly funny, and perfect. Our children are constant reminders that God and Goddess have a profound sense of humor, and that all of the things you dislike most about yourself but pretend don't exist really do come back on the karmic wheel to kick your ass when you least expect it. My family keeps me young and humble and I try every day to make them proud. I've written a LOT of books--I can't even count anymore, most of them for Dreamspinner Press and Riptide Press, but some of them published on my own. I write to placate the voices in my head, profanity is the element I swim in, and knitting socks at stoplights has become my twitch.

Quickening

The Fifth Book of the Little Goddess series will be out in two parts, May 2nd and June 16th.

*Kermit Flail*

If you would like to submit a new release for *Kermit Flail* Monday, simply e-mail me at amylane@greenshill.com with your title, .jpg cover attachment, blurb, and buy link. It helps if I know you-- I'll say sweet things about you-- but even if I don't, I'm happy to put you up on the *Flail*.