Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Looking at my post hurts. I was parked next to a Dodge Intrepid in the grocery store parking lot. That was Sarah's car. That was the car that Sarah died in. It's not fair.
I feel better today. Yesterday I cried like I didn't know I could cry. Horrible wailing sobs emanating from somewhere deep within myself.
It's gets better little by little.
I should be at confirmation right now but I have too much homework that I don't feel like doing. I have a test too study for that I don't wanna take. I just want to lay in bed. I don't care about anything.
I'm having a gastroscopy tomorrow. That's a test where I will be drugged up real good and then a tube with a camera on it will be shoved down my throat to look at my tummy. I'm not supposed to remember anything. This frightens me a bit. Not being able to remember. Maybe I want to remember something being shoved down my throat.
I should go do homework now. Wheather I like it or not.
God help me.