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Friday, May 3, 2013

On Finishing Things

When I was studying history in college, we didn’t take
tests. We wrote essays. These could be anywhere from 10 to 30 pages long, and
they’d be stuffed full of information and analysis that we pulled from old
books, old libraries, and old professors. Each of us would start the writing
process two or three months before the due date and bit by bit begin filling in
an outline put together to guide that process. If my classmates were anything
like me, no sooner had they written one paragraph then they immediately began
to rewrite it; adding information, changing their argument, emphasizing and
cajoling.

Usually we could expect to write at least three of these
every semester, and they were all due within a few days of each other at the end
of term. Inevitably, there were conflicts with other assignments and other
commitments. These conflicts were irrelevant; the essays had to get done. No
matter what. With so much class and study time being spent essay-ing (not a
real word!), our final grade revolved around our writing. It wasn’t enough to
juggle the workload, or to finish assignments, we had to finish them well.

Five months ago, I started writing an application for the
National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) Research Fellowship program. The day
after, I started an application on behalf of a local museum to receive some
grant funding. Two days ago, on May first (May Day, for our pagan and/or
socialist readers!) both applications were submitted successfully. I feel like
I just got out of school for summer vacation.

Not that I didn’t enjoy the research, the writing, the
process of taking raw data and crafting it like clay. If I didn’t enjoy all of
that, I wouldn’t be doing what I do. But the thing I like even more than the doing is the finishing. Not because I no longer have tasks to accomplish or
deadlines to meet, but because I had a goal and I achieved it.

If nothing else comes of these last five months of work,
that will be all right. If the museum doesn’t receive its funding, I will be
disappointed, although probably not as much as the actual staff. If the NEH
doesn’t select my research proposal, I’ll wish that they had. But that doesn’t
mean that I didn’t accomplish anything.

Five months ago, I wanted to learn grant-writing, and I
wanted to apply for a fellowship. Note that I didn’t say that I wanted to get a
job as a grant-writer (although I would take one!) or that I wanted to receive
a fellowship (although I would absolutely take it!). Five months ago I wanted
to do something new, and I wanted to see how well I could do it. Because of
that I spent an entire winter in two volunteer positions; 40 plus hours a week
of late nights, conflicting deadlines, and writer’s block. And because I did
once, I can do it again; better than before. Without even considering the
professional implications, I’d say that’s a winter well spent. And now that one
thing is finished, it’s on to the next thing.

That being said, the Chinese have a proverb that’s somewhat relevant:
“Butcher the donkey after it’s finished its
work at the mill.” So there’s that perspective to consider, too.

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If you don't hear from me again, either I'm in hiding from student loan collection agents or... well, just stay away from the Plymouth meat markets for a while. Post your condolences in the space below.

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About Aaron M. Dougherty

Aaron is a 2010 graduate of Eastern Michigan University's Master's program in History, with an undergraduate degree in History and Writing. Since 2010, he's worked as a writer, researcher, and historical interpreter for several museums and historical societies in the greater Boston area. Writing this blog is MOSTLY for fun.