inlaws and cheating husband

To make a long story short, my husband cheated on me, but for the baby's sake we are trying to work it out. I found out just after I found that I was pregnant. He is willing to change and do whatever necessary. For me to move on, that includes getting rid of his truck since he had sex with another girl in it. It's a constant reminder to me and I can't move on with it sitting in my driveway. He can sell it and get a different one, I don't care if it's the exact same vehicle.Unfortunately his parents don't understand, even though he has tried to explain this to them. They think I am being unfair for making him sell his truck, because the truck means so much to him.Well, I don't think it's fair that my husband cheated on me, but I think trading in a hunk of metal is better than me trading in for a new daddy for my baby.

To make a long story short, my husband cheated on me, but for the baby's sake we are trying to work it out. I found out just after I found that I was pregnant. He is willing to change and do whatever necessary. For me to move on, that includes getting rid of his truck since he had sex with another girl in it. It's a constant reminder to me and I can't move on with it sitting in my driveway. He can sell it and get a different one, I don't care if it's the exact same vehicle.Unfortunately his parents don't understand, even though he has tried to explain this to them. They think I am being unfair for making him sell his truck, because the truck means so much to him.Well, I don't think it's fair that my husband cheated on me, but I think trading in a hunk of metal is better than me trading in for a new daddy for my baby.

did it occur to them (besides that it's none of their business), that your WEDDING VOWS meant a lot to you?

If that is what it takes to ease your mind a little, then that is what it takes.

Also please encourage your husband to talk to you, especially when he feels tempted. It's hard to hear, but at least you know when and the causes for the temptation and you can help him avoid those temptations. Once a cheat is not always a cheat, but he's always going to look, and you need to help him vocalise it so he doesn't stray. Which is hard when you are pregnant and hormonal.. good luck :)hugsS

did it occur to them (besides that it's none of their business), that your WEDDING VOWS meant a lot to you?

If that is what it takes to ease your mind a little, then that is what it takes.

Also please encourage your husband to talk to you, especially when he feels tempted. It's hard to hear, but at least you know when and the causes for the temptation and you can help him avoid those temptations. Once a cheat is not always a cheat, but he's always going to look, and you need to help him vocalise it so he doesn't stray. Which is hard when you are pregnant and hormonal.. good luck :)hugsS

Thanks Jenn! (I'm a Jen too) It's unfortunate that there are so many #### out there, but it is nice to know that there are other people out there going through the same thing and who understand.So, sorry this happened to you to, from the looks of your gorgeous babies and your beautiful self, your guy is a complete idiot and is missing out on so much.I'm still not 100 per cent sure on what I will end up doing, I do really love him though and want to make this work. But I realize that it just might not work.Aside from his parents, he does understand everything I've asked of him and he is willing to do whatever it takes.You are right about the in-laws though, it's none of their business. I thank you for saying it the way you did because now I realize that I have to cut them off if they ever bring it up (to date they don't talk about it to me, but did complain to him until he told them he didn't want to talk about it with them anymore).Thank you for your input - it's definitely appreciated!I wish you all the best!Jenny

Thanks Jenn! (I'm a Jen too) It's unfortunate that there are so many #### out there, but it is nice to know that there are other people out there going through the same thing and who understand.So, sorry this happened to you to, from the looks of your gorgeous babies and your beautiful self, your guy is a complete idiot and is missing out on so much.I'm still not 100 per cent sure on what I will end up doing, I do really love him though and want to make this work. But I realize that it just might not work.Aside from his parents, he does understand everything I've asked of him and he is willing to do whatever it takes.You are right about the in-laws though, it's none of their business. I thank you for saying it the way you did because now I realize that I have to cut them off if they ever bring it up (to date they don't talk about it to me, but did complain to him until he told them he didn't want to talk about it with them anymore).Thank you for your input - it's definitely appreciated!I wish you all the best!Jenny

I was just lurking...and I had to reply to your post, because I saw your name is Ericka with a C and a K...My name is Ericka, also spelled that way! I almost never see anyone with their name spelled the same way!

Well, anyway, just wanted to say hello...take care.

Ericka

I was just lurking...and I had to reply to your post, because I saw your name is Ericka with a C and a K...My name is Ericka, also spelled that way! I almost never see anyone with their name spelled the same way!

Have you considered counseling? If you're members of a church parish, I'm sure someone there would be willing to sit down and talk through things with you. It might help to have a disinterested third party there to allow you both to work through your feeling in a "safe" environment. I'm sure what your husband did hurts terribly and will always be painful, but if you still love him deep down, then there is still hope for you. But I think that you both need an environment where you can both discuss how you're feeling and what happened to your husband to make him feel like he had to cheat. Without understanding where things went wrong in the first place, you may not be able to fix what's broken and move on. Also, you definitely need to get the in-laws out of the picture. They are not helping the matter, they're obviously biased in this situation and can only make things worse. But if your husband won't listen to you on that, he may be more willing to listen when a third party, such as a counselor, tells him that he needs to limit their involvement in your lives until the two of you have had time to come to terms with and begin to really work through your situation. I wish you the best of luck whatever you choose to do.

Have you considered counseling? If you're members of a church parish, I'm sure someone there would be willing to sit down and talk through things with you. It might help to have a disinterested third party there to allow you both to work through your feeling in a "safe" environment. I'm sure what your husband did hurts terribly and will always be painful, but if you still love him deep down, then there is still hope for you. But I think that you both need an environment where you can both discuss how you're feeling and what happened to your husband to make him feel like he had to cheat. Without understanding where things went wrong in the first place, you may not be able to fix what's broken and move on. Also, you definitely need to get the in-laws out of the picture. They are not helping the matter, they're obviously biased in this situation and can only make things worse. But if your husband won't listen to you on that, he may be more willing to listen when a third party, such as a counselor, tells him that he needs to limit their involvement in your lives until the two of you have had time to come to terms with and begin to really work through your situation. I wish you the best of luck whatever you choose to do.

Yes, I agree that counselling would definitely be beneficial - and it has been! That was the first thing my husband not only agreed to, but insisted we do. I definitely think counselling has been a big help. It's helped me validate my feelings, helped him understand the impact of his actions and helped us understand how we can move forward.The only negative thing that has come out of it is my husband thinks the counsellor forced the idea on me, of getting him to sell his truck. So we haven't been back to see the counsellor since. But I think he'll still go if I insist.I honestly don't think we would have covered as much ground as we have if we hadn't gone to see a counsellor. It was well worth it!

Yes, I agree that counselling would definitely be beneficial - and it has been! That was the first thing my husband not only agreed to, but insisted we do. I definitely think counselling has been a big help. It's helped me validate my feelings, helped him understand the impact of his actions and helped us understand how we can move forward.The only negative thing that has come out of it is my husband thinks the counsellor forced the idea on me, of getting him to sell his truck. So we haven't been back to see the counsellor since. But I think he'll still go if I insist.I honestly don't think we would have covered as much ground as we have if we hadn't gone to see a counsellor. It was well worth it!

I'm glad you two have been to counseling, and I hope that you can convince your husband to go back. Not only is it important for you to be able to express your feelings and have them validated, but it's also important to explore why your husband cheated in the first place. If he can't figure that out, then you can't work as a team to stop it from happening again. And, unfortunately, men just aren't insightful enough to figure these things out for themselves most of the time, which is where counseling would continue to be of benefit to you. I do wish you the best of luck and hope that you are able to work things out in a way that is best for you and your baby.

I'm glad you two have been to counseling, and I hope that you can convince your husband to go back. Not only is it important for you to be able to express your feelings and have them validated, but it's also important to explore why your husband cheated in the first place. If he can't figure that out, then you can't work as a team to stop it from happening again. And, unfortunately, men just aren't insightful enough to figure these things out for themselves most of the time, which is where counseling would continue to be of benefit to you. I do wish you the best of luck and hope that you are able to work things out in a way that is best for you and your baby.

I am sorry you have to deal with this when you are suppose to just be happy about your pregnancy and I don't know why your In-laws are involved in your marriage anyway. They should have had alot to say when their son decided it was okay to cheat on you. Who cares what they think, this is between you and your husband.

I am sorry you have to deal with this when you are suppose to just be happy about your pregnancy and I don't know why your In-laws are involved in your marriage anyway. They should have had alot to say when their son decided it was okay to cheat on you. Who cares what they think, this is between you and your husband.

I am soooo on your side, he's lucky that was the cost for cheating on you......a truck?! I'd have been out the door with.......wait hold the phone.....he'd of been out the door with his hunk of dirty metal! The in-laws need to mind their own business, their lucky their dog of a son is still with someone as sweet as you, sorry I was cheated on by my daughters dad when I was pregnant with her and we tried to work on it and well to say the least it ended messy! But we've both moved on and 4 yrs later are now friends! Everything happens for a reason and I hope it works out for you!!!

I am soooo on your side, he's lucky that was the cost for cheating on you......a truck?! I'd have been out the door with.......wait hold the phone.....he'd of been out the door with his hunk of dirty metal! The in-laws need to mind their own business, their lucky their dog of a son is still with someone as sweet as you, sorry I was cheated on by my daughters dad when I was pregnant with her and we tried to work on it and well to say the least it ended messy! But we've both moved on and 4 yrs later are now friends! Everything happens for a reason and I hope it works out for you!!!

I wish they weren't so involved, but he's a mama's boy and is in constant contact with them, therefore they know a lot and then they bud in. I've asked him to talk to them and let them know that how we deal with this is none of their business.

I wish they weren't so involved, but he's a mama's boy and is in constant contact with them, therefore they know a lot and then they bud in. I've asked him to talk to them and let them know that how we deal with this is none of their business.

You and your feelings should be way more important to everyone involved than a stupid truck. Honestly, it is none of their business and he needs to tell them that. I hope you can get past the betrayal and that he learned his lesson. I can tell you from experience that you have a long road ahead of you, but it can be totally worth it if you love each other. Good luck, doll!

You and your feelings should be way more important to everyone involved than a stupid truck. Honestly, it is none of their business and he needs to tell them that. I hope you can get past the betrayal and that he learned his lesson. I can tell you from experience that you have a long road ahead of you, but it can be totally worth it if you love each other. Good luck, doll!

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