Tuesday, April 17, 2012

As I look at my Son, beaten and bloodied, hanging on the cross, there are no words to describe the immense pain riveting through my body, mind and heart. It is almost as if I am experiencing what He is experiencing on that "tree" because He is so much a part of me. He's my Son, for goodness sake, and no mother should have to endure the death of her son, no less watch Him be tortured to death, pierced through like this. I want to die with Him, in His place if that would even be possible and yet I know that is just wishful thinking - no one can die in the place of another . . . or can they? Even though I do not understand what Yahweh is doing or how this could possibly be a part of His glorious plan for my Son that Yahweh first called me to so many years ago, somehow I know deep inside of me that because Yahweh is good, He has a good plan beyond this evil . . . for a future and a hope. And so just as I did so many years ago when He asked my permission to be the holy place where His Son would be conceived, to create a sacred space for Jesus to be born, I again say "as You wish" to what is happening before my eyes, what is crushing my soul . . . not in fatalistic resignation but in hope - hope of glory - for Yahweh, for Jeshua. .And even though I do not understand, a glimmer of hope for mankind and myself is beginning to be kindled in my heart. . . a hope of something more than this end, something greater, something miraculous. Yes, something miraculous. As You wish, my God, as You wish . . .