Thursday, November 1, 2012

College rape cases - unique difficulties

Time The recent media swarm around an anguished report of rape at Amherst College, in Massachusetts, is understandable, especially when every day seems to bring another grotesque proclamation from a political figure appearing to minimize, or even justify, rape. But the gravity of sexual assault shouldn’t be an excuse to draw black-and-white conclusions about the problem of rape on college campuses.

Most rapes are hard to prosecute, in part because they rarely have
witnesses, but college rapes on college campuses are an even bigger
challenge because at least 90%
of alleged rapes are between people who know each other (often
boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, or current friends and acquaintances).
College rapes also typically involve less physical evidence (like signs
of physical struggle), and one or both parties are more likely to be intoxicated by alcohol, often
making it hard for the alleged victim and assailant to recall or report
a clear story. College-rape survivors sometimes delay reporting rape,
as the Amherst survivor did, until they have concluded that they were in
fact raped — an ambiguity that is much less common in the general
population. [...]

Moreover, college students are adults with their own legal and moral
agency; college officials are not compelled by law to report assaults to
the police, as school administrators are for suspected cases of sexual
abuse with minors. Campus sexual assaults are thus adjudicated in an
often deeply unsatisfying he-said-she-said administrative process that
can’t always establish truth, much less actual justice. As former
Harvard College dean Harry Lewis noted in Excellence Without a Soul: How a Great University Forgot Education,
“In rape cases there is often no middle ground … When one student is
accused of raping another, the college cannot make everyone happy.”

14 comments
:

Most of these so-called rape allegations are in fact consensual sex where the woman had buyer's remorse after-the-fact and falsely cries rape.

In a he-said/she-said situation, you cannot -- and should not -- prosecute the man considering there is no proof. You cannot punish someone on the hearsay of a woman's proof-less claim which he denies.

so in a he-said/she-said situation, the man is ALWAYS honest? What about character evidence? What if there is a pattern of allegations against the man? Short of a videotape, do you see any way for the victims to have credibility? Is it so impossible to conceive that there are men who force themselves on trusting women? Is it more believable to you that many young women falsely cry rape because they are evil, cruel beings who enjoy ruining the lives of men just for kicks?

No, Bunsa, in a he-said/she-said without evidence there are some times the woman is correct. But society cannot punish innocent people by penalizing someone without evidence. And if we convict people without evidence, on a protagonists words alone, innocent people will be punished in cases where she is lying.

I object to your claim that "Most of these so-called rape allegations are in fact consensual sex where the woman had buyer's remorse after-the-fact and falsely cries rape." On what statistics do you base your claim of "most"? What "buyer's remorse" can a female in the 21st century American college-world have? Her reputation? Her virginity? What would she possibly have to gain? Money? Not likely with a 20 something college student. Revenge? Perhaps, for a small number of twisted females. But consider that the average young woman, who is not greedy or cruel, risks intimidation, harassment, social ostracism, and humiliation when she comes forward. In fact, I would say that "most" rape victims don't come forward because they don't think they will be believed.

If anything, this should once again serve as a brutal reminder why Jews, especially Orthodox Jews, concerned about the morality of their daughters (and sons) should not send their children to non-Jewish sleep-away co-ed college campuses where even the dorms are mixed, fraternities and egalitarianism sees nothing wrong in sex between students.

Rav Avigdor Miller Z"L used to rail against modern day campuses as houses of ill-repute. On campuses there are no inhibitions and everything goes. There is lots of drinking of beer and alcohol, pot and drugs, and guys and girls gone wild galore, with some girls even think it's ok to earn some money by prostitution as has been reported a few times with campuses in NYC.

Yet is spite of all this, particularly Modern Orthodox parents cannot wait to send their sons and daughters to cesspools of immorality on campus. There was a true story years ago that some Modern Orthodox parents were once shocked that their son brought home a non-Jewish girlfriend, and when they told this to their friends, they were told "be happy" our son brought home a boyfriend!

So it is no wonder that there are all these reports of rapes on campuses, whether consensual or not, the permissive environment sets the stage for all these tragedies, so there should be no surprise.

Very good point, RaP. This is also an excellent example of the superiority of Torah morality. College kids these days think they're being liberated and rational by getting drunk every weekend and "hooking up," when in fact all the research shows that women in particular are mistreated (often through very real date rape) or feel degraded and depressed from the experiences. (There is a lot of research showing that teenage girls are traumatized and negatively affected by their sexual activity as well.) Radical feminists have critiqued the college hook up culture for the same reason, though their secular ethics prevents them from recommending complete chastity. In any event, I hope I manage to send my daughters to a place like Stern or Touro. May G-d help us.

It is not a "holy commandment" for all Jewish women to go college. In America the vast Chasidic communities (Satmar, Chabad, Ger, Belz, Bobov -- all of them) do not send their children to colleges, the Torah education they receive in Bais Yaakovs up to high school level suffices them, and in the main they are managing to build beautiful homes, have lots of children, and contribute to vast and growing frum communities. In Israel all Charedim, even non-Chasidic ones follow the edict not to have even secular studies in high school, let alone in a forbidden college. But there are some new programs that teach some professions such as computers.

The non-Chasidic Yeshvish crowd is trying to emulate this, but it has many post-high seminaries that educates the frum girls and many don't go on to college, get married early (18+), and raise nice Torah families.

The Modern Orthodox accept it as an "article of faith" that their children, both sons and daughters, "must" attend college in middle America style as if it was the "holy grail" for success in life, lehavdil. This is where the main problem is. Stern and Touro cater to a very tiny minority of the best that Modern Orthodoxy can offer girls in college education under Orthodox auspices. While the rest of the vast majority of MO parents have no interest in this, especially since all the Ivy League and the best colleges are now open to Jewish students, and the parents have the ability to pay the astronomical tution and dorm fees or the students are very bright and get scholarships. Harvard, Columbia, Brown, and many many other top notch colleges are jam-packed with Jewish students and the thought of sending their kids there makes the MO's salivate, even as they give birth to their kids.

Not for them is it leTorah, LeChupa, LeMaasim Tovim but their mantra and "prayer" for their kids is: "leGPA, leCollege, leProfession da-sooner da-better, and they cannot wait to send their kids to cumpuses across the USA, whether date rape or lots of consensual sex awaits, is arisk they are willing to take with eyes wide open.

For too many, they don't care about the consequences of sex so much because the kids are already corrupted in the MO day schools or the public schools they sent them where a blind eye is turned to sexual relations among the boys and girls at private parties and following social gatherings.

The crowd that is not quite MO and that is more part of the Yeshiva world, does not send its children off that quickly. They try to have their college-age children closer to home, and there are mainline yeshivas that cater to "the college crowd" for guys, while girls work or teach as they get their degrees, but they (the girls) almost always live at home with parents to protect their good name and virginity, as they look for respectable husbands, often potential Kollel guys they plan on supporting, and most of them build fine Torah homes.

I'm not MO but I found your post offensive. Loshon hara al haklal is still loshon hara, even if they're not your type of Jews. I know many, many, many MO couples who are absolutely nothing like the picture you painted. Granted, there are those with skewed priorities, but Stern or Brooklyn College is the dominant choice. It's no different than if you made the claim that all chassidim are neturei karta sympathizers.

The neturei Karta are not chasidim. Wikipedia says the following: For the most part, the members of Neturei Karta are descended from Hungarian Jews who settled in Jerusalem's Old City in the early nineteenth century, and from Lithuanian Jews who were students of the Gaon of Vilna (known as Perushim), who had settled earlier.

I'm sick of this anti-college propaganda from you Rabbis. Frum Jews need to go to college and take it seriously. How many married yeshiva guys do I know that can't support their families because they didn't go to college or treated it like a big joke (i,e. went to Turo)because they were taught that college is bad. That's not the hashkafa of the Torah, its a chillul H'! These Rosh Yeshivas and Kollels are using their talmidim so they can give parnosa to themselves and their kids.

To all you yungerleit and bochurim, don't listen to your Rebbe, get a good degree. College is important. If you can sit and learn afterwards, be my guest, but when you need to support yourself and your wife and your kids, your Rebbe will NOT be there for you!

And if you think you're "going into chinuch" think again. Unless your father or father-in-law is the Rosh Yeshiva or gives $75,000 every year to the yeshiva, you won't have a chinuch job.

Rav Zev Leff recommends my 3 books on Child & Domestic Abuse

Click on picture to hear excerpt from Jan. 2012 Kav L'Noar conference. "I want to first give hakoras hatov to Dr. Baruch Shulem who provided me with Daniel Eidensohn's books on child abuse and domestic abuse which offered me many many sources and it gave me many many ideas to be able to deal with the subject properly. And I thank them and I recommend those books to everyone who is interested in getting a good foundation what the issues are in this very important topic."