i know this sounds horrible but to know the people who made me feel like this get there comupance and kharma turns around and bites them!
and for my parents to be able to gete along for a few hours at my 18th birthday party, just them being able to have a lil bit of chit chat with out arguing and violence would be great to.

To be able to have a job where I'm happy and not completely undervalued. Also a job that allows me to continue to go to school because all the classes I need for my bachelor's of science are during the middle of the goddamn day. Also, enough money for basic things like food. Also, someone who loves me for once. I don't even have money to see my doctor to tell him I want to kill myself again.

i dont think it's possible. i'd need to recover form my depression, find someone who could really love me, be successful... nomatter what happens in my life so far there are always thos ethoughts "if i caught that disease, id die in agony. if i end it now, i wont risk it" "if i break my laptop then i wont have the money to replace it, so i will just kill myself". i think the only way would for me to genuinly enjoy life, and that will never happen.