ADHD and the Biggest Fan

My dad died last week. He was my biggest fan. He was the one who thought I could do anything. He was the person who was always accountable, predictable, supportive, and yet expecting. He expected me to do my best. He expected me to try my hardest. He expected me to choose the right and moral decision and never questioned that I would. Most of the time I met his expectations, but when I didn’t, I was so sorry to tell him that I didn’t. But he would forgive me, after pouting around for awhile, and go on his way loving me. He was the kind of father that everyone wanted to have. He was smart, athletic, generous and loving.

I probably have ADHD, even though I have never been diagnosed. My dad didn’t care. When I was 4 years old and we were in church and I was moving around way too much, he would hold me in his arms and not let me wiggle. I would squirm and squirm and try with all of my 4-year-old might to get away from him, but I couldn’t. He just held on. I will never forget the feeling inside of fighting his strength and parenting, and yet being so secure and certain that he was holding me. Up to the moment that he died I felt the same way. I fought his strength and yet basked in the pride I had in that strength.

I wish every child had a dad as her biggest fan, especially a child with ADHD. Just think if a child was hyperactive, impulsive, inattentive, and always getting into trouble or not listening, yet there was always a loving adult there for the child. Wouldn’t this world be a better place? If adults knew the best way to respond to a child when he or she messed up, and gave reassurance that things will be better and sometimes failing helps us to reevaluate, a child with serious behavior problems might have a better chance for success as an adult. Wow. Wouldn’t that be something?

Anyway, I lost my biggest fan. I guess we all have to experience that “rite of passage.” Even though we all have to go through it, it is still hard. Hopefully you still have your “biggest fan.”

Get the latest health updates

Thanks for signing up!

Oops!

A system error was encountered. Please try again later.

Follow us on your favorite social network!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Donna Krutka, MD

Dr. Krutka is a board-certified pediatrician who works in private practice in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Her practice includes all ages of patients from newborns to young adults. Her areas of interest include attention...read more