Airstar Flyer Season 1 Episode 1

This series is a series I would never pitch to a network, so it's not serious like Faulkner and Bruce of The Real World: Ithaca, it's just for fun and its based off of an E-mail show I wrote on the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki about Homestar's cousin, Airstar and his pet The Chuck and his Nephew Schoolstar, who all live in a blimp that floats around Free Country USA in the Homestar Runner Universe. The HRF Wiki is gone, but I wanted to continue these stories. I wrote this one around Thanksgiving 2010, so don't be confused, it's about The Chuck planning a Thanksgiving party that Airstar wants to spice up. (DISCLAIMER: ALL HOMESTAR RUNNER CHARACTERS FEATURED IN THIS SCRIPT ARE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF THE BROTHERS CHAPS, MIKE AND MATT CHAPMAN, AND I DO NOT CLAIM RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, AND ARE USING THEM IN THIS STORY UNDER THE LEGEL PRECEDENT OF FAIR USE.)

Submitted:Dec 20, 2010
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TV-PG DL

"AIRSTAR FLYER"

BROUGHT TO YOU BY PEPTO-BISMOL

(We start with Airstar in the kitchen.)

AIRSTAR: Man, where is the damn turkey?

(Takes out The Chuck and plops him on the counter.)

THE CHUCK: MEH!

AIRSTAR: That's not it.

THE CHUCK: PUT ME DOWN, JERK!

AIRSTAR: Okay. (Puts him down.)

THE CHUCK: So Schoolstar and I are planning a Thanksgiving party.

AIRSTAR: Who the hell has parties for thanksgiving?

THE CHUCK: Cool people. You familiar with that?

AIRSTAR: So what is this a roman orgy? A kegger? A toga party?

THE CHUCK: No we're uh…going to play…pin the tail on the turkey…

AIRSTAR: Jesus, The Chuck. That's weak.

THE CHUCK: Well…whatever. I don't care what you think.

AIRSTAR: Yes you do.

THE CHUCK: Yes I do. HOW DO I MAKE IT COOLER?

AIRSTAR: Start with that. Cooler. Get a cooler.

THE CHUCK: I don't know where to find a cooler. I only know where
to stumble upon one, like when I'm walking in the woods with my
friend The Cheat, or I'm at my dad's New Years Party.

AIRSTAR: Listen to me, little man, you are not a young kid
anymore, you are a teen, and you need to start drinking, smoking
and having anonymous sex!

THE CHUCK: Yes sir!

AIRSTAR: Don't say yes sir, tell me to go f##k myself!

THE CHUCK: Go…f##k…yourself?

AIRSTAR: GOOD BOY!

THE CHUCK: I will do this! I will make it happen!

AIRSTAR: Good. Now get the hell out of here.

THE CHUCK: OKAY!!!!

(Cut to The Chuck in Schoolstar's room in togas with a cooler
full of cold ones.)

SCHOOLSTAR: This toga looks retarded on me, and you.

THE CHUCK: No it doesn't…it's flattering. Now shut the meh up and
start attracting some peeps.

SCHOOLSTAR: Okay. PEEPS!

(Strong Bad and Strong Mad walk in with boxes of Peeps candy.)

THE CHUCK: What the hell is this?

STRONG BAD: Who ordered twenty crates of peeps?

THE CHUCK: TWENTY CRATES OF PEEPS??? JESUS CHRIST, THAT'S WAY TOO
MUCH FOR THIS BLIMP TO HANDLE! THAT'S PAST OUR WEIGHT CAPACITY!

(They start to plummet towards the ground.)

ALL: WOAH!

(COMMERCIAL)

TV-PG DL

(We start with Airstar watching TV in the TV room.)

AIRSTAR: Man do I love shows about celebrities being punked seven
years ago. Thank god this blimp rebounded or I wouldn't be able
to watch this quality programming.

(The Chuck comes in.)

THE CHUCK: Meh!

AIRSTAR: What's that boy? Did Timmy fall in the well?

THE CHUCK: F**k you. The keg truck is here.

AIRSTAR: Oh it is? Wait, how the heck are we going to get all
those kegs down there, up here?

THE CHUCK: We could bathe ourselves in Pepto-Bismol.

(Cut to Airstar and The Chuck bathing in Pepto-Bismol.)

THE CHUCK: I don't know why I thought that was a good idea.

AIRSTAR: Dude, this stuff is great. It tastes great, and my
digestive health is going to be rockin'!

(Schoolstar comes in with several kegs on dollies.)

AIRSTAR: Oh my god, how the hell did you manage this?

SCHOOLSTAR: Through magic. Naw, I just landed the blimp and
loaded the kegs on while you two idiots bathed in Pepto-Bismol.
Anyway, this looks like it's a misprint.

AIRSTAR: How do you mean?

THE CHUCK: You sound like an assh**e when you say "How do you
mean?" What do you mean?

SCHOOLSTAR: It says these are kegs of Pepto-Bismol.

AIRSTAR:…I beg your pardon?

SCHOOLSTAR: Yeah.

THE CHUCK: Aw, meh. Yeah this is just my monthly Pepto-bismol
delivery. The kegs don't come until tomorrow. Damnit, I should
have anticipated that.

AIRSTAR: You have got to be kidding me. This is bullcrap. WHAT
THE F**K IS WITH YOU AND PEPTO-BISMOL?

THE CHUCK: It's this show's main sponsor.

AIRSTAR: Oh…s**t.

THE CHUCK: Indeed!

(They all start laughing. Cut to commercial)

TV-PG DL

(We start with Airstar, The Chuck and Schoolstar bringing kegs on
board and taping turkeys to the wall.)

AIRSTAR: Finally we got the alcoholic kegs we all know and love.

THE CHUCK: Why can't we staple the turkeys onto the wall?

AIRSTAR: Because then this blimp would deflate, dumbass.

THE CHUCK: Oh yeah. Why do I always forget we're in a blimp?

AIRSTAR: Because it looks so much like a house.I started out with
a damn cooler and a sleeping bag for Homestar's sake.

THE CHUCK: Okay. When are the peeps going to get here?

AIRSTAR: The peeps? Oh you mean the partygoers. Well, when does
the party start?

THE CHUCK: Thanksgiving Day, 1pm.

AIRSTAR: Okay well it's December 4th, so that gives us…

(Everyone stands there awe-struck.)

AIRSTAR:Nine days…ago.

THE CHUCK: G** DAMNIT!

AIRSTAR: Hold on, don't jump to conclusions. Let's change this to
aDecemberween party with kegs.

THE CHUCK: Fine. Let's get to work.

AIRSTAR: Ugh, not today. I'm exhausted. Some other day.

(Cut to twenty-two days later. Everybody is putting
upDecemberween lights and mini-trees and hauling in egg knog and
kegs. The Chuck is wearing a santa hat.)

AIRSTAR: Now this is aDecemberween Party. When does it start?

THE CHUCK: 7pm, Decemberween day.

AIRSTAR: Awesome. And today's the twenty-sixth, so we have plenty
of time.

(An audio track scratches. Everyone stands wide-eyed.)

THE CHUCK: Sh-

(Cut to six days later, where a New Year's Party is being put
together.)

AIRSTAR: This New Year's Party is going to be off the hook. Hey,
does anyone know why there was fireworks last night? I mean who
has fireworks on December 30th?

SCHOOLSTAR: Last night was December thirty-first.

AIRSTAR: Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ you'd think we'd have a
better sense of time in this damn place.