Category Archive: Mike

My brother Mike and I have been through thick and thin together, and growing up with him was unique, special, and wonderful. Today he works as a bailiff in court and we continue to give each other a hard time on a regular basis. I love the guy more than life itself. There’s no one in the world like him.

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My brother Mike is in the hospital. He’s fine; he had knee surgery a few days ago and is spending some time on the rehabilitation floor before heading home. I knew Mike’s knee surgery was coming, but he wound up having it suddenly last Friday, which was a lot sooner than we [...] Keep Reading

Adamant. You try changing his mind sometime. Bailiff. He cuffs people. Cute. He really is. Determined. If he decides it’s time for him to move to a new apartment, he will move to a new apartment. Mike will not be deterred. (See: Adamant) Exceptional. I [...] Keep Reading

I’m working on a big post about behind-the-scenes Throwdown experiences. Thank you guys for following along and making it so much fun. In the meantime, I have a piece of news: My brother Mike can now send text messages. Now, my normal reaction to this development would be to [...] Keep Reading

1. Mike is working as a bailiff in court. I have no idea if he is getting paid for his work, but I do know that he has arrested at least two people and is ready to arrest more. I also know he has absolutely no credentials and is at a physical disadvantage with most anyone he’d want [...] Keep Reading

Mike and I used to give each other manicures and pedicures with watercolor sets. I took that a little farther once I became a preteen: I’d sneak into his room and put lipstick on his lips while he slept. Bright shocking red lipstick. Elizabeth Arden. My mom’s. The next morning [...] Keep Reading

About a month ago, some of you might remember, my brother Mike auditioned for a movie. There was some initial confusion related to what exactly he was auditioning for, but everything eventually worked itself out. At this time, I would like to announce that Mike has officially been called [...] Keep Reading

My mom visited over the weekend and brought two books of black-and-white photos of my siblings and me. I kept them and will send them to her later, because I want to scan them and preserve them digitally before they disintegrate or warp or get washed away in a tropical storm. My mother [...] Keep Reading

In the seventies, collars were large. Very, very large. Wow, mom. In the seventies, men wore their hair like this. I still haven’t figured out why. Why, Father? Why? Hey, Dad. You have a big, black caterpillar crawling down the side of your [...] Keep Reading

Although Mike and I talk on the phone often—that is, when I decide which three of the seventeen daily phone calls I’m going to pick up on any given day—we don’t get to see each other very much. I send him his monthly check for sticking to our agreement, which he has [...] Keep Reading

I’m not sure where to begin. There are several doors through which I can start this story. Okay, backing up. Some of you might remember a post I wrote last spring, which addressed the subject of a possible movie based on Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, a story I began writing [...] Keep Reading

Yesterday afternoon I received an unexpected email from a man who grew up in my hometown. His name is Johnny. He was quite a few years ahead of me in school and was very hunky, and had no idea who I was, being that I was a freckled redhead and all. And I’m okay with that. I [...] Keep Reading

Did you ever have a "family episode" that was so monumentally embarrassing, you can hardly bear to remember it? No? Okay, how ’bout this one: My oldest brother WDS got married right out of college to a sweet girl from Phoenix, Arizona named Heidi. Right after they became [...] Keep Reading

Here is the second of three Walk-Down-Memory-Lane-with-Mike stories I’ll be posting today. Please don’t notify the authorities. MEET THE PARENTS About four years ago, my brother Mike, my other brother WDS, Marlboro Man and I were all gathered at my dad’s [...] Keep Reading

My brother Mike called me yesterday. I answered. It was an unusual, wonderful, and bizarre conversation. And as such phone calls with Mike are inclined to do, it set off a several-hour acute episode of Mike on the Brain, a condition that causes me to sit, stare at the floor, and think back [...] Keep Reading

1. An in-heat dog showed up at our house yesterday. Charlie subsequently forgot he was neutered and decided to follow the dog into carnal oblivion. I finally fetched him, brought him inside, and grounded him for allowing himself to give in to the flesh. “But I’m a [...] Keep Reading

Mike called me last night to wish me Happy Birthday. It was the fourteenth time he’d called for the day, but the first time I answered. (We’ll examine this phenomenon at a later time when I launch the new section of my website called “The Pioneer Woman Has Issues”.) [...] Keep Reading

It’s what I do when I’m nervous. I look at photos like this. It’s a crutch. On another note, I have some things to say this morning. Please, for my sake, bear with me. 1. We’re weaning 200 calves this morning. That just leaves 2,700 calves left to wean this [...] Keep Reading

I have some monumental, earth-shattering news. And I mean, get ready—this one is enormous. Are you ready? Are you sure? Are you positive? (No, I’m not pregnant. As far as I know.) Here’s my big, huge, gigantic news: My brother Mike came to my house [...] Keep Reading

First: My brother Mike is in the hospital. He’s okay, but was there through the weekend and has to stay another night or two. After falling ill Thursday, he went to the ER and wound up having to be given IV fluids and sedation to keep his vomiting at bay. After several tests, it was [...] Keep Reading

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Saturday, April 4: Freezer Fundamentals! While ranch work is going on outside, freezer work is going on inside! I share four more of my favorite freezer basics, which can be made into a whole bunch of different meals.