I volunteered to take a mid-afternoon stroll over to the McDonald's across the street this afternoon. My co-workers were jones'in for some soft serve. I did my best to be a good co-worker.

I got Nancy a Shamrock Shake. The shake that makes March a bearable month in the midwest.

I got Maren a vanilla soft serve cone. Plain. Simple.

And I wanted a small vanilla shake. Because according to my childhood Rolodex, a McDonald's vanilla shake is soft serve in a cup with a straw. I'm not a regular McDonald's patron (in fact, I think it's been years) but I remember how the shakes were. It should take the recipient of said shake at least 4 minutes until the soft serve is actually soft enough to drink. This is how it is supposed to be. They are supposed to pour the soft serve into a cup and let me try my darndest to get it through the straw and into my mouth.

Well...let me tell you. Times have changed.

The McDonald's machine is now automated and with the click of a button out comes syrupy flavored liquid. It is smooth and creamy. It is unrecognizable as soft serve. It is...in a word, a major disappointment.

NOTE: I could not find a photo of this abomination to shakes everywhere. And my "vanilla shake" was, sadly, wasted in a corporate trash can that afternoon.