Monday, January 7, 2013

The Top 10 Tweets From #YesWeCanseco

Jose Canseco is at it again, and he is doing his best to change the world. He had a ton of New Year's Resolutions that were supposed to keep him on track for the entire year. He was fully committed until he hit a roadblock and got distracted, but that still counts as full commitment for Jose. It has led to his strongest hashtag effort of all time, #YesWeCanseco. Let's go over the top ten tweets from this movement.

first business someone named Geoff already stole poncedecanseco.com web name so we need a new website name any suggestions ?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 4, 2013

Ah, Jose had high hopes for his anti-aging formula, Ponce de Canseco. he was going to give everyone the formula for immortality in the least catchy way possible. Unfortunately, someone named Geoff took the website before Jose could lock it down. God damnit, Geoff. You son of a bitch. Looking back on things, has anything good ever come from someone who spelled Jeff in the effeminate way. Don’t you dare say Geoffery the Giraffe, that long-necked douchebag put all the cool toys up too high when I was a baby boy. Damn you, GtG.

Need exact guidelines of what I need to run for Toronto mayor and how long it takes to claim residency. #yeswecanseco
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 4, 2013

Once he lost the website name, he got distracted and started focusing on different things. After he ran out of shiny things to chase around, he decided to become the Mayor of Toronto, because that is something that Cubans who moved to the United States can do.

Dear Torontonians tweet me what needs fixing so I can start working on things.I know the Jarvis bike path and NHL strike are key, more?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 4, 2013

Jose saw that the NHL strike was a problem, and boom, shit gets fixed. You gotta give him props on that. No word on that Jarvis Bike Path yet.

Wow Gardiner expressway! Why hasnt it been fixed what am I missing here? We are a world class city roads cant be falling down. #yeswecanseco
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 4, 2013

Hey Lynsi @innoutburger the city of Toronto would be a great market for you guys can you please expand there ?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 4, 2013

Damnit. I wish Jose was my mayor, although I would go with a Five Guys, Jose is clearly the guy who could get it done. This man knows what the people want.

Thanks Toronto for a great #yeswecanseco Day 1.Got some good news on the citizen thing hope to announce in a few days. More tomorrow. Hugs
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 5, 2013

Did Jose just find out that he’s Canadian and not Cuban? That is really the only way he found good news on this front, and that would be pretty awesome. Also, Jose is the one person who could confuse the two for his entire life.

The hug store is open! I am trading hugs for displaying YesWeCanseco signs to get the word out on mayor run. Just tweet me pic.#yeswecanseco
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 5, 2013

I'm guessing that a lot of people sent pictures to Jose. I am guessing that a great majority of these pictures were not of Yes We Canseco signs. I am guessing a lot of these signs were just dudes taking pictures of their junk and sending it to Canseco. I hope this is not the lasting legacy of Yes We Canseco.

Way to get it done Bettman canceling my flight to NY.You should make all game tix for kids free this year u owe the fans big #yeswecanseco
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 6, 2013

There is no way that Jose could have afforded a flight to NY. Bettman saved the NHL and Jose's bank account.

Tanenbaum I am willing to suit up for the Leafs opening night if u let kids in free. cant skate 2 good but hit the puck really hard. hugs
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 6, 2013

This one really bums me out. It bums me out, because I know Jose is not writing these. There is no way he would have spelled Larry Tanenbaum's name right. There is no way he would have gotten his name right. He would have made a plea to the mascot to let him play hockey for the team.

I will not burn out I will not fade away I am immortal and will always stay here with you. I complete you
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 6, 2013

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