LUKE: Has any foodstuff undergone so comprehensive a renaissance as the humble burger? For so long the scorned culinary province of teenagers, single dads and the humorously obese, over the last half a decade the burger has witnessed a return to zeitgeist perhaps rivalled only by skinny jeans and the music of Nile Rodgers.

The douche is strong with this one. Is this some sort of hipster douche irony that's he's a douche himself prodding other douches, or did merely eating the douche burger make him a douche? The world may never know.

"A status symbol for people who can afford to splash out $20 on a piece of food barely bigger than a human fist. An ethically and nutritionally unsound wad of meat and sauce that screams "I'm so rich I can afford to eat badly - and pay top dollar for it! "

Really? $20? I've spent more than that at Applebee's. I'm King of the World!!

It is the Broodwich. The most evil sandwich ever created. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell's half acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one eyed mad man. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood.

Mind you, this is a place that has wines that range to the hundreds of dollars a bottle. And the rolls are quite literally thrown into the wood fired oven when you sit down, so they are the freshest bread you can possibly find unless you bake it your own damn self. But, yeah, the pizza with foie gras is probably the most self indulgent use of the stuff you can find. Until this burger, that is.

FrancoFile:You know what goes w/ foie gras? Just a tiny bit of salt and pepper. It's already magical, it doesn't need a sauce.

That and I don't think the Japanese export their beef. They don't make enough to meet domestic demand; they import the stuff from Australia. And if you actually go all the way to Japan to eat real "wagyu", they're not going to put it in a goddamn burger. You know what goes with wagyu? Just some salt and pepper. It's already magical; it doesn't need a sauce.

The burger condiment mish mashing didn't really get that bad till they started doing this with it...

Mainly people who decide to make a bun out of an cheap, bottom of the barrel noodle, which actual poor people (mainly people who are not trust fund Hipsters making a fashion statement) subsist on when money gets tight; while charging out of the ass for it in price, should be skinned in the most ironic fashion.

Of all the recent food fads gourmet burgers are easily the least annoying. I had a 'Korean burger' from a food truck last week and it was delicious. This same truck also had a gourmet hotdog which my wife informs me was delicious as well. Maybe that's the next step.

dragonchild:FrancoFile: You know what goes w/ foie gras? Just a tiny bit of salt and pepper. It's already magical, it doesn't need a sauce.

That and I don't think the Japanese export their beef. They don't make enough to meet domestic demand; they import the stuff from Australia. And if you actually go all the way to Japan to eat real "wagyu", they're not going to put it in a goddamn burger. You know what goes with wagyu? Just some salt and pepper. It's already magical; it doesn't need a sauce.

Wagyu is a breed, and oddly enough, the US HAS Wagyu here on our soil--Yes, Virginia, the US raises Wagyu, right here. Kobe beef is an entirely different story, and there are very few licensed folks to carry Kobe here. Wagyu on the other hand, is much more readily available.

DarkSoulNoHope:The burger condiment mish mashing didn't really get that bad till they started doing this with it...

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Mainly people who decide to make a bun out of an cheap, bottom of the barrel noodle, which actual poor people (mainly people who are not trust fund Hipsters making a fashion statement) subsist on when money gets tight; while charging out of the ass for it in price, should be skinned in the most ironic fashion.

AngryDragon:DarkSoulNoHope: The burger condiment mish mashing didn't really get that bad till they started doing this with it...

[cbsla.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]

Mainly people who decide to make a bun out of an cheap, bottom of the barrel noodle, which actual poor people (mainly people who are not trust fund Hipsters making a fashion statement) subsist on when money gets tight; while charging out of the ass for it in price, should be skinned in the most ironic fashion.

hubiestubert:Wagyu is a breed, and oddly enough, the US HAS Wagyu here on our soil--Yes, Virginia, the US raises Wagyu, right here. Kobe beef is an entirely different story, and there are very few licensed folks to carry Kobe here. Wagyu on the other hand, is much more readily available.

DarkAmish Tech Support:It is the Broodwich. The most evil sandwich ever created. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell's half acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one eyed mad man. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood.

Zip's tartar sauce is the god of all mayo like sauces. It's a bummer that many of their stores don't do the deep fried mushrooms anymore. Deep fried mushrooms in tarter is one of the best guilty pleasures on earth.

My first point is, to each his own. So if you want to flame me, that's ok, because to each his own again.

Having said that, the whole "gourmet burger" thing is Americans being American because they just can't help being American. We can't help being crass, even (especially) when we don't want to be crass. A hamburger is crass, so just accept that. It's ground beef, because that's the cheap stuff, stuck in between a pretty cheap bun, with cheap condiments.

Personally, I like a burger made with fairly decent beef (but it doesn't have to be made from aristocratic cows lovingly fed organicallhy-grown grass while listening to Mozart, butchered in a karmic yoga ceremony, ground with cutting-edge specially-engineered blades, air-shipped, and sold for $199 a pound at a boutique butcher shop that also serves lattes), and a fairly reasonable amount of it. No more than a third of a pound. A piece of good but ordinary cheddar. Some lettuce, tomato and onion, and a little lettuce. A nice fresh bun. That's it. I don't need it to be a foot and a half tall, I don't need artisanal hand-craft sauces, I don't need a detailed history of how the recipe evolved from humble beginnings in some far-off exotic land, I don't need it to look like an alien abortion.

Just some ground beef, some cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard, on a bun.

If you want to try gourmet food, try actual gourmet food. That's a good thing too. But trying to dress up ground beef on bread as gourmet or exotic...that's Americans being American because they can't help themselves. Aim higher, for chrissake.

DarkSoulNoHope:The burger condiment mish mashing didn't really get that bad till they started doing this with it...

[cbsla.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]

Mainly people who decide to make a bun out of an cheap, bottom of the barrel noodle, which actual poor people (mainly people who are not trust fund Hipsters making a fashion statement) subsist on when money gets tight; while charging out of the ass for it in price, should be skinned in the most ironic fashion.

It's a strange cycle.

Lobster is a great example.

It was poor people food, then rich people food, now rumor has it a rich person wouldn't be caught dead eating lobster these days, that's food for the poor now(again).

lilplatinum:DarkAmish Tech Support: It is the Broodwich. The most evil sandwich ever created. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell's half acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one eyed mad man. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood.

Had Wagu Beef once - it was much less than satisfying to me than a regular Filet.

I'm a burger fan myself, but I like to keep 'em fairly simple at home - cheese, pickle, onion, mustard and horseradish. I used to mess around with mixing in stuff with the meat but it was hard to please the family that way.

I find as I get older, I like simpler preparations as much as complex ones, and cooking dinner in a half hour can be a nice change from a 3 hour meal prep like my wife often like to do.