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Hieronymo's Mad Againe

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The Family Copeland have made it to Idaho, the fun capital of the end of the world. Some time to kill, they stop at the side of the road and go exploring into the woods. Their somewhat enjoyable picnic is interrupted by Dana and Brianna fighting — what else. Chasing after them, Josh sees something strange in the trees: dead bodies that have been stretched and hanging from the boughs. On one such body’s hand is a wristwatch that stopped at the exact same time as the clocks in Seattle after the catastrophe. Time flies…until it doesn’t. Maybe it’s all the excitement, but Josh goes into a coughing fit, spits up blood. Uh oh: dad’s infected. And going a little crazy.

The family look for tetra at a nearby warehouse, but find only empty boxes. However, on one of the boxes is the address of a local long-term care home. It’s a party at the retirement home! Matt stays behind with Josh while Karen, Dana and Brianna poke around the rest home. When they get there, they’re given a start by the head (or only) nurse…with an assault rifle. That’s medical care for you! She tells them that she’s got some tetra, but would like some help moving patients down floors in exchange. Oh, and they have to give up their guns. Do it for dad! So while Dana and Brianna investigate the storage closets, Karen goes with the nurse into a patient’s room. That’s the trap: the nurse elbows Karen in the face, and knocks her out. That’s got to be in violation of the Hippocratic oath. Unless…the elbow felt good?

When Karen wakes up, she’s sitting around a table set up for a tea party (so cute), two guests of which happen to be dead, stuffed and stitched (less cute). See, living at a nursing home all by yourself can get a little quiet; sometimes you need imaginary voices to make things exciting. The nurse assures Karen that she’s going to be her next forever guest. But why?! Because Karen’s father’s goons killed the nurse’s family when they raided the stock of tetra. Oh, that’s why. Revenge. Meanwhile the girls are trapped in a storage room, whose only means of escape is a laundry shoot. Ah, shoot. Left with no other options, they take it and get out of there.

The nurse wheels Karen up to her special room, where she prepares her victims for stuffing, and injects her with a paralyzing agent. And just when she’s about to saw Karen’s face off, the power goes out. Thanks Dana and Brianna! The nurse goes to check out the fuse box, and gets a Taser to the back that delivers 200 volts straight to her spine. Now it’s a party. Dana and Brianna go to help mom, but need the power on to get the elevator working. So while Dana wheels her mom out of the room of death, Brianna heads back to the gear box to turn on the power. Only the nurse is missing! She’s back inside the surgical room, etherizing Dana, and gearing up to kill Karen — for good this time. But Karen’s got a bit of a surprise: a handgun on her lap. And that handgun’s got a surprise of its own: a bullet to the nurse’s chest. Brianna returns and delivers a surprise of her own to the nurse. It’s a surprise bonanza in here. Having had enough surprises for one day, the Copeland women return to the van and find some comforting certainty in the fact that Josh is really losing his mind and his health at an accelerated rate. They knew that was coming. But how long does he have?