Humour: School Jokes

"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language in which a double positive can form a negative."A sarcastic voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Fair Trade

A school teacher was giving a big test to his students one day. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in.

The teacher noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per mark."

The next class, the teacher handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

I Is...

Teacher: Pappu, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Pappu: I is...

Teacher: No, Pappu. Always say, "I am."

Pappu: "All right...I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

The AtheistA young female teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class to put their hands up if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm Christian." The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.

Replies Lucy, "I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.

"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

Teacher's PestLittle Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.

Two days later, his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!"