Finding humor in everyday things

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Big Al predicts a big mistake by the Trailblazers

(Mr. Durant you have my #1 pick this year. I hope Portland listens.)

Today is a big day for many NBA franchises - Draft Day! Going back into Golden State Warrior history we've accomplished a lot on this day. Some notable Warrior selections:Latrell Spreewell - "Choke"gate ScandelGilbert Arenas - "Thank you Golden State for making me a star! See ya!"Anfernee Hardaway - "Thank you Golden State for not keeping me! See ya!"Adonal Foyle - "I'm getting paid how much to sit the bench? Where do I sign?"Joe Smith - "Yes, I am the future! Now let me screw both the Warriors and the T-Wolves."

We've made some great picks and we should have several Championships by now. Unfortunately, for one thing or another the Golden State Syndrome doesn't allow our players to get us a Ring.

Today the Portland Trailblazers have the #1 selection in the draft. The rumor mill has them selecting Greg Oden from THE Ohio State University. Bad call! Think Sam Bowie now. If I had the choice, I would go with the teenager from THE University of Texas - Kevin Durant.

Many people believe that this is a very special draft - something like the 2003 Draft with Lebron, Carmelo and Dwayne. I'm not going to go that far and say that. I really haven't seen anybody spectacular since Dwayne Wade out of Marquette. Oden and Durant are two very capable players that can do very good things for whomever selects them. However, something is telling me that Portland's Oden pick won't be the right one.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Big Al celebrates the birth of homosexuality

(The birthday boy and his wife Jamie. Sorry Jaime, everything you heard about Q and Ito is true... EVERYTHING!)

3 days after Big Al celebrated the birth of metrosexuality, it is only fitting that we celebrate the 28th anniversary of homosexuality at Q's birthday bash. On June 24, 1979, in Quincy, Illinois, Q was born. Our world has never been the same since. (FYI - there is nothing wrong with homosexuality.) Look closely at Q's T-shirt above. It closely resembles "GAY".

(The soldiers! No offense to all of the troops fighting for our freedom. But we're soliders!)

The day included paintballing in the Santa Cruz Mountains and dinner at Hooters. Big Al didn't fare too well against the competition. It kind of reminded him of climbing uphill during football practice.

(Big Al taken prisoner at Camp Hooters. He was tortured all night!)

I'm not saying that Q is a homosexual, but I believe his whole wedding thing was a complete cover-up to hide his true feelings for his roommate of many years - Ito.

Just kidding Q! I love you man! To everybody else that may give me a hard time, I have a lot of gay friends and I love them too.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Big Al celebrates the birth of metrosexuality

(Oooohhh chicken!)

July 21, 1979 was an important date in history. It was not only Ito's birthday, but it was also the first day that metrosexuality came into existence. Yesterday, I went out to hang out with Ito and the SCU folks to celebrate his 28th birthday in Mountain View at Frankie, Johnnie & Luigi Too! We did a little bowling action at Palo Alto Bowl's Thirsty Thursday.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Big Al sees Noah... or is it Evan? or it is Steve?

So Big Al was traveling back home to Vallejo last Sunday and up in the sky it was a.... picture of Evan Almighty. The picture below doesn't really do it justice, but seeing 3 planes pull these over I-880 in Fremont took my attention away from driving.

(The 40 year Old Virgin could have caused me flip my truck over on 880. Notice the glare.)

They probably were coming back from flying around the A's game in Oakland. I think it's a sign that I should go see this movie, or maybe it's a sign to start packing my stuff up in case of a giant flood. Nevertheless, I can now understand why it cost $10.75/ticket to watch a movie with so much tied into marketing and promotion.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Big Al's June Mailbox

It's time to dig into the mailbox this month. The BigAlsHouse tends to get a lot of fan mail from people all over the world especially from women who profess their unconditional love for Big Al. However, this month's special letter comes from one of Big Al's newest fans - Gracelyn.

It's been awhile since I was 1, but you have to give credit to little Gracelyn. Her penmanship is at least at the 6th grade level. Her sentence structure is definitely in the upper tier of 1 year olds. I'm tempted to give her BigAlsHouse.com blogging permission. She may be a guest blogger. Stay tuned!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Big Al Can't Touch This

So I'm driving around Fremont going to Jo's place and I come across this sign:

(Stop! Big Al Time!)

Jo mentioned a while back that Hammer used to live in that area of Fremont near the Stop sign... before he blew his money on fancy cars and strippers. Anyways, I did a little spying via Google Maps and found his old crib:

(Google Maps - Instant Spy in a Box tool)

In front of his private driveway there's a gate. It used to have the name "Hammer" on it, but the new owner has since removed it. This place is pretty cool - huge house, huge driveway and swimming pool with private cove. I guess wearing parachute pants and remixing old beats got you pretty far.

(Oh how the mighty have fallen! Photo courtesy of 4nyay's Rainbow Photography, Inc.)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Big Al gets ID thefted

Last week Big Al became a soon-to-be popular US statistic - ID theft.

Do you remember those credit card commercials where they have this old lady, but with a voice of some young kid. I can't remember which card company it was, but they were portraying ID theft. This week my WaMu debit card was hit 3 times in a matter of a few minutes in some place in China. Luckily their fraud detection unit was in place to stop it but the damage had already been done. I lost about $1500 with about 80% of still in investigation. I luckily had some emergency cash lying around otherwise the mortgage payment would not have been made.

I've been checking with WaMu every few days and they said that my replacement card should be here shortly and my provisional credit should clear soon. Until then I'm limping around.