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Month: August 2012

Almost 12 years have passed since I left my home to pursue Engineering. I still remember my mother accompanying me on the first day of my Hostel Life. Our rooms were still not ready and mine was room #1. There were labourers all around placing the beds…painting the walls, etc. I even applied my personal touch to the walls…My mother was busy unpacking my luggage and setting up my room while I was busy checking out other rooms…The casual introduction with my fellow hostel mates.

Then I was introduced to my roommate with whom I would be sharing my room. I paused and it was then that reality hit me….I was going to live with a stranger. I am a happy to go lucky kind of a person and moved on to checking out the place with curiosity.

It was 4:30 pm and my mother had a 6 o’ clock train back home. I simply started pushing my mother…”Maa leave all this (unpacking and settling my room)…get ready we have to go to the station else you will miss your train….” We both got ready and the moment I stepped out of my hostel gate the guard stopped me…”Madam you cannot go out”..”Damn you! I am going to drop my mother to the station”, but all my explanations were in vain…He was firm on his decision …”Rules are Rules Madam”….My mother walked out and I stayed inside the gate…there were tears in her eyes…she simply placed her hands on my cheeks and said “Stay safe”…and started to walk. That hard truth hit my face….I was not at home anymore….I had to live alone minus the love and security of my home…I simply ran towards the terrace so that I could see my mother for few more seconds…she kept on waving till she faded amidst the silhouette of the busy road.

I was filled with a deep vacuum. I was always thrilled about living alone…being independent but now I simply wanted to go back home….my parents…sister..my pet jojo…my bed..my TV…the basic walls seemed so precious …..Couldn’t stop crying…wept the entire night…….I realized this was my “Bidaai” and there is no returning home. I may go for vacations…but that would be a limited stay.

After my engineering I moved to Kolkata to work…and every week I used to visit home…..nothing on this earth could have stopped me……Staying away from home taught me the importance of family….Though I was away from home still there was a satisfaction, the distance between Kolkata and Kharagpur (my home) is only 2hrs with easy modes of communication. At times I would simply go back home on a Wednesday and come back on Thursday… I was content…

Life goes on and I got married and my luck brought me to Bangalore….2000 kms away from my home. Previously I went home once a week and now it’s once a year.

Now I am a mother of a cute little one year old daughter and motherhood has made me realize all the hardships a mother has to face to bring up her child…those endless sleepless nights…which make me miss my family even more. Today I know my parents are getting old…they are losing their physical and mental agility…and they are all alone. Life comes with an expiry date and this thought haunts me.

When I was a kid I used to cling to my parents for the silliest reasons and they were always there on the slightest sigh. But today when they are old and they need me…my time…my presence… I am not there to even offer them a glass of water. It pains…pains real bad. I can’t help it. It was then I promised myself that the only way I can prove to be a good daughter is by being a good mother. But still there is that hollow feeling within…..

Hi…I am a Wheel…
As per technicalities I am a circular component meant for rotating on an axial bearing.
As per history I was discovered in mid 4th millennium BC. I had several makes like from stone to wood and progressed to Rubber. My main purpose is to ease transportation. As my contact with surface is minimum compared to any other geometrical figure, hence I make transportation easy and fast. However now-a-days my functions have diversified and you will find me almost everywhere.
Now coming to my life..I keep on rotating and proceeding on and on till I am placed on my rim..but if you drop me flat on the surface then I have no use…I will lie there just like any other object.
You can even compare me with Life. Suppose I am standing on a high mountain and you give me a push…There a life is Born. My initial run is fast as I am travelling on a steep slope, just like childhood. Childhood passes very fast. In the first year itself we learn to sit, stand, and walk. Then start running and growing. In span of 15-18 years we almost learn all the theories of life. We know the geography of our planet, history of our culture, calculations of our daily life, Biology of ours and other living being, Physics of our system, reactions of radicals. Learn various Languages across the world. And if you notice that this path is one of the smoothest paths we travel. Always under the care and security of our parents.
After the steep slope we come towards the base of the mountain. This is neither very steep nor plain. Same is our youth. Though we have challenges yet we still have a tension free life…Our main concern is establishing ourselves in this society. Just like the wheel which after a steep slope is getting used to the not so steep slope. Even this phase is short term.
Then we slowly progress towards the plains…..this is our middle age. We have our own families now and we are responsible for their well being. Once we were dependent on our parents now our parents depend on us. When they walk they look for our support. The speed with which a wheel travels on a slope decreases to a considerable amount on the plains. Similarly our lives also slow down. From being an adventurous youth we look more for security. Both Financial and emotional stability is desired. But we move on. This phase is the longest. On a plain land chances of falling on pot holes are more. Friction even increases similarly challenges also increase. When we are young our decision had major affect on our lives. But now it affects our entire family. We have to be cautious in every step but keep the momentum alive and keep running.
Slowly we enter old age. As the wheel keeps on spinning it encounters lot of wear and tear which results in decrease of speed with which it was traveling. Similar with old age our body also undergoes lot of wear and tear, it starts developing lot of ailments and we slow down. We look for a push here and there to keep the momentum going. And somehow just manage to roll.
If you have ever noticed a rolling wheel before stopping it slows down and then suddenly looses its balance and falls down but tries to still roll and slowly slowly the momentum decreases and finally ceases. That’s the end. Life ceases. Breath stops. For a wheel external factors affect its movement but Breath is the fuel of Life. When external factors cease to act a wheel stops and when breath ceases Life stops.