Met my soulmate and I’m freaked out!

I’ve met my soulmate online and I’m freaking out. OK, I haven’t actually met him in person yet… And he’s not going to be in my city for another two months. We’ve only been talking online through webcam, mostly emails, and on the phone.

But we both have our own fears. His fear is that I won’t like him in person but I think he’s wrong. My fear is that I’m not ready to meet my soulmate yet. I feel like I’ve got so much more to accomplish and that I need to be better. I don’t think I’ve achieved what I’ve set out to do yet. I still feel that my business is somewhat of a mess and I’m working on cleaning it up.

Can I tell the Universe to send him to me a little later? I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way and I know if I freak out or self-sabotage then I’ll lose him. I hope that he is a bigger and better person than I am and that he’d overlook some of my faults and see the good in me. He makes me really happy and maybe this is exactly what I need in my life right now. He inspires me and he makes me act more urgently. Nothing like your soulmate about to show up at your doorstep to get your ass off the couch!

I feel like I need to work hard on fixing things and to get my life in order before he shows up. I feel the pressure and the sense of urgency. And I want to be better. I want to live more congruently. I want the things in my mind and my dreams and my actual life to all match up. Doesn’t it feel so horrible when everything inside you is beautiful and wants to shine but your reality doesn’t reflect it? I see some grass, some shoots sprouting from the ground and maybe a little bit of roots but no tree, no fruit, and no flowers yet.

Patience, he’d probably say. And patience is what I must learn. Thank you God for letting me meet someone like him and for the incredible potential of him being the person that will inspire me to achieve the breakthrough I need and to help a lot of people. And for the potential of him possibly being the greatest love of my life! How do I know? Because this is what my intuition says and it’s never been wrong so far.