Monday, March 29, 2004

Introducing Captain Obvious

Baseball Widow is hesitant to do a lot of things. . .like laundry, dishes, and vacuuming. She is not, however, hesitant to point out the shortcomings of others. (Don't worry, she can take it as well as she dishes.) On that note, Baseball Widow would like to share some recent gems. . .

Two verbatim quotes from announcers at a recent spring training game:
"Russ Ortiz can pitch."
"That man, Scott Rolen, is a baseball player."

Give me a Candi-coated break! Baseball announcers have what is, to Baseball Widow, the greatest job in the world: they are paid to watch ballgames and talk about what happens. Every syllable out of their mouths is money in the bank. Evidently Baseball Widow's standards are too high--how could she possibly expect insight on top of mere sound?

Perhaps a short play might explain my point.

Setting: any locker room, any time
Characters: almost any journalist, almost any athlete

Journalist: How's the [insert injured body part] feeling?

Athlete: You know, I'm just gonna take it one day at a time, give 110%, and play the game.

Journalist: How do you feel about [insert name of new coach]?

Athlete: Well, things have changed, but you know, I'm just gonna take it one day at a time, and go out there and give 110%.

Journalist: What do you think about Baseball Widow's blog?

Athlete: It's great, you know, she's always out there, just taking it one day at a time.

Note to ESPN and Fox: We call them players, not sayers. An ex-jock does not make a good sports announcer merely because he played the game. In fact, in most cases former players make terrible announcers (except at TBS, but they've got their own problems). For the love of peanuts and Cracker-Jack, please hire announcers with some discretion. Baseball Widow is always available and giving 110%.