Sunday, April 10, 2016

The tiny
house movement is sweeping the nation. If you think you have what it takes to
get in on the trend, why not up the ante and go micro? An average tiny house is
around 250 square feet. But living micro—at 95 square feet or less—is where
true freedom lies. Ditch your stuff, go micro, hit the road—micros can even be
towed by a Fiat!—and let the fun and carefree lifestyle wash over you.

Our
custom designers and builders will help you realize the micro-home of your
dreams.

First things
first, planning is important. If you have children, you should immediately stop
feeding them vegetables, or really any food with nutritional value at all. In
these builds, kids need to be stuffed into what we call a micro-loft, so they
really need to stop growing, like yesterday. Next, get rid of almost everything
that you own.

Are you
starting to get excited? Well, strap in—our innovative designers have come up
with some truly brilliant ways to cram everything you need into a microscopic
space.

First,
you’ve seen beds placed in lofts above the kitchen or living space. These
lofted bedrooms boast great amenities like ladder access and ceilings of up to
three feet in height. But what a waste of space!

With our new shelf-bed, you can sleep in comfort knowing you are taking up as
little space as possible on this great big planet. The metal hooks underneath
make for a great space-saving closet.
You can probably keep up to six outfits! It’s a great idea to begin training as
an acrobat now if you want to be able to vault onto the bed-shelf from the
ground. Going micro means no room for ladders my friend!

Next,
check out this micro-sink which actually doubles as a shower, if you just open
your mind and shift your perspective on what a shower actually is. If, for example, you imagine that
you are a Medieval peasant, having the opportunity to splash clean, fresh water
onto your face and body is actually a luxury. And think of the space you’ve
saved!

Finally,
check out this desk which can double as a bedroom for guests. Simply place a
foam pad on the fold-down surface, and viola—space for up to two guests.
Obviously if you are going micro, you and all your friends subsist on a strict
organic/clean/gluten-free/vegan diet, and you’re all very small. If you have,
ahem, larger friends and relatives…it’s called a hotel, am I right? Let those
space hogs wallow around in a wasteful hotel room that’s up to four hundred
square feet, with its own flushing toilet and
tub-shower combo. Animals.

So what
do you think? Is going micro the lifestyle for you? Do you feel like a big
giant space-waster when you load the dishwasher or take a bath or use the
clothes-dryer? Because you should.