For an okay time, call Mary...

All in all, this one is as all right as any of these kinds of toys, with a few quirks that make it worth a second glance. You can do a lot, lot worse than Mary here, and she might keep you entertained for longer than you might think. Ultimately, however, I think this one'll be forgettable in a few months...

Published:
May 8, 2014

Pros:

Soft, comfortable

Cons:

A little too stretchy/sticky, longterm care will be a pain, hard to grip

This is a pretty, run-of-the-mill, male masturbator among a sea of similar, disembodied, vagina blobs. As far as how to use this toy, it's pretty straightforward, plug-and-play. Lubing up your cock and the entrance, slide on in and have at it. You can definitely hold onto this toy and jerk off with it instead of your hand, or position it on a countertop and fuck it without moving your hands and using your hips instead. It's an interesting masturbatory addition, but it's a bit of a hassle to keep using in the long run.

The material was a big surprise about this one. It's kind of a gamble what kind of attributes define a sex toy such as this, but this one was definitely far squishier and tackier than I expected. It's made of this pale, single-flesh-toned TPR, and as far as I can tell, the inside is not really textured. Even if it is, the material is way too soft and subtly textured for it to make a difference. The tackiness makes it a hair and dirt magnet, so don't drop it! That said, it does wash off pretty easily when dirty in that way, though water isn't conducive to the use of water-based lubes.

This is where things get kind of interesting. As far as these kinds of toys go, something really has to be unusual to make it anything worth taking a second look at. Though I was very unimpressed at first, a few continued uses (giving this an honest chance) have proven worthwhile.

First off, there's the general shape of the thing. It's very bulbous at the entrance end and slightly tapering up toward the other end (which is open). It has a tiny little molded vagina and butthole along with weird amputee thigh bits. The whole front end is big and dense and resembles the pelvic area of a woman, and that density is an interesting factor here. At first, I thought it was kind of a drag because it's got its mass all concentrated toward the base of your dick once you slide it in there, and the upper part can be hard to grip because it's so soft and even if you're trying not to get lube on it, you'll get lube on it. However, since it's so stretchy and soft, that uneven mass distribution starts to work in its favor once you get going enough. The weight at the end of it closer to your body can cause this weird oscillation, almost a spring/yo-yo effect that feels pretty good when you get going.

Additionally, I wasn't sure from the pictures beforehand, but this thing does have a second hole where the asshole is, and damned if I wasn't going to fuck it! It leads through halfway to the same main canal, but the anus entrance is slightly tighter. Not much different overall and the vaginal entrance is positioned better, more centered. Speaking of centered, though, the hole through the rest of the toy is slightly lopsided on mine, for what that's worth. It hasn't made much of a difference so far, but it's worth noting.

The Fleshlight people had it right when it comes to putting something like this inside a rigid container though. It can be a little hard to grip both from its squishy/stretchy nature and its feel once it gets lube on the outside.

With all its quirks, at the end of the day, this material is a pain in the ass. It's too stretchy, too squishy and too sticky. I think to really care for it and make this last very long, you're supposed to powder this material with cornstarch. I can't be bothered to do that, so we'll see how long it is before it degrades and tears. These kinds of toys are essentially disposable at some point. It's easy enough to turn inside out to clean, and it dries pretty quickly.

From my experience, as with many of these types of toys, my initial reaction was kind of, "meh." It is very untextured and as far as "simulation" of the real thing goes, it's really in a different ballpark. It's different than real vagina and different than your hand. The uneven weight distribution in the thing, along with the stretchiness, has proven to result in some interesting sort of oscillation you can get going. Additionally, the best part about it that really sets it apart from just your hand, is right toward the end, near orgasm. I found that when I was close, I could stop and just keep the toy engulfing my cock and the sensation was very nice, sort of a great feeling of slight stimulation all along my cock from tip to base, even enough sometimes to finish off without moving. Once I got off with it, the feeling of the soft material stretched around my entire cock is also very nice and contributes to some better orgasms than just using my hands. So the payoff is much better than the work getting there with this thing.

This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com