Dreaming with Ponce de León

October 20, 2007

Remember (think back, waaaaaay back) when you would wake up in the morning refreshed and feeling alive, full of V&V (vim (*Note 1) and vigor), ready to face the world? Remember when you fell into bed after a hard days play and got up ready for another hard days play? Getting older (can’t bring myself to say “old”) sucks.

I go to bed sleepy, exhausted, sore muscles, aching bones, creaky joints. I wake up slightly less sleepy, exhausted, sore muscles, aching bones, creaky joints and with a free bonus of stiff neck and a head full of sinus drainage. Where did those days go when the exhaustion and sore muscles disappeared during the night? Not to mention you didn’t even go to sleep with the remaining ailments, and there were no crappy bonus additions when you woke up, either.

I don’t think enough money is being spent on getting a good, refreshing night’s sleep. Let’s take, oh, say five billion from the military’s budget for designing a left-handed ink-pen-shaped pocket laser and create a new study. Put the best minds at work figuring out how Rick (*Note 2) can sleep better and wake up feeling as he did when he was twelve (you get your own study — I’m looking out for number one, here).

Now some might say that no amount of money can bring that feeling back, that these things are going to happen as the years roll by — but let’s at least try first, give it our best shot. And we can start by taking a billion off the top of the five billion dollar budget and just giving it to me. I guarantee, no matter what the end results of the other four billion spent in the study, with a ten-figure bank balance I’ll sleep better at night.

Ah, well, maybe a refreshing night’s sleep is out of the question at my age. Maybe I need to head to Florida, see if Ponce missed anything while he was thrashing through the underbrush. There’s gotta be some reason all the old folks head there.

*Note 1 – I’ve never actually known what “vim” was – I could have given a reasonable guess, but for those like me without a dictionary knowledge: Ebullient (*Note 3) vitality and energy.

*Note 2 – I haven’t checked, but this may well be the first time I’ve spoken in third person of myself. Not sure what that says, but it did cross my mind.