Longfellow

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Sometimes during a “normal” day you find yourself in really
amusing moments. Moments that are just good. Usually they are just small,
little things, but they put a smile on your face. They also might not be that amusing to other people. But to you they are. Like when I found myself with
some fellow missionaries from my mission…

We are all humanities majors (or rather, we all have majors
in the humanities), and we were havin’ a laugh (said with british accent) about
how with our chosen majors, oftentimes we hear the question, “What are you
going to do with that?!” This question makes us feel good. Real good. We
decided that our professors all know we face that question (probably because
they faced it long before we did…), and so they often will remind us the first
day of class (and throughout the courses we take) the ever-important why of studying something in the
humanities. Though often they will remind us that in the humanities, it isn’t
about the money, it is about much, much more. And actually, I must admit, that
as an English teaching major, I don’t
usually face the worst of the critics who want to know what the heck we think
we are going to do when we “grow up.” I do, however, face the worst of the “not
in it for the money” jokes. Not the point.

As our little mission-buddy group, we tried to come up with
some clever ways of responding to that favorite question of ours and as we
talked, we felt very validated as we all decided we were studying about what it
means to be human. Who can say that is
unimportant?! Probably people could. But for the sake of this current blogging
stuff that is happening, we are going to all just pretend that we really
believe that studying the humanities is really important and helps us in life.
And some of us (maybe just me) actually believe that. Some of us might just
pretend. It’s fine. I’m over it.

But anyway… I was reading for a class and I stumbled upon a
really interesting quote that made me think about humans. When I write “humans”
like that (like I just did a few words ago..), it makes it seem like I’m
distancing myself, but I’m not. I’m human too. Proud of it. And proud to be an
American. But that is not the point either. So….this quote I came across made
me think about something that I have been thinking about lately. Curious yet?
Annoyed? Probably annoyed.

Anyway. The quote: “The reason I am obsessed by young girls
is that they are individuals who exist but also do not yet exist. They are
afraid, and they’re strong and weak at the same time. They confront life
violently. They are weak because they do not know who they are going to
become.”

Once you get over the initial shock over somebody admitting
they are “obsessed” with little girls… it’s not what it seems! Promise. This
particular scholar did some analyses on fairy tales and movies and such that
center on little girls as the main characters. Not as creepy as it sounds. Once
we get over that, we can focus on the rest, particularly the ending. I really
liked how her quote ended. “They are weak because they do not know who they are
going to become.”

That weakness isn’t because they don’t know what or when or how or why they are going to become. But they
don’t know who they are going to
become. As I think about that phrase, I can’t help but hear Mufasa’s voice in
my head saying “You have forgotten who you are, and so you have forgotten me…”

In my opinion (in my humble
opinion. That expression always makes me chuckle, because usually when
people use that, they aren’t actually being humble about it and I remember when
I saw this list of ways to abbreviate in texts and there was IMHO and I personally
thought they might want to rethink using that particular abbrevs cuz they were
quite possibly sending the wrong message)… well, actually, on second thought, I
don’t want to state my opinion because in this particular instance, I really
only have my own experience as evidence. So, I guess it would be like stating an
opinion of my own life, which hardly seems necessary. What I really want to say
is this: In my life, I have often let the “other questions” the whats, hows, whys, and whens be governing factors and driving
principles, instead of letting the WHO become
that focus. Maybe other people do that too. Maybe just me.

But I feel like this semester I am learning how to finally
let the other questions go (as important as they can be at times and as much as
they might influence the who), and I’m
trying to focus more on that who. I
don’t know what I want to be or when I’m going to be it, or even how I’m going to get there. But I do know
who I want to be. And because I know that,
it seems like less-of-a-big-deal that I don’t know all the answers to the other
questions. Right? Of course, right! (Name that play!) Okay, well I might not
know all of the details of exactly how to become that who and who that who really is… I might not know all the
specifics. But I know the direction I want to go. And besides, I don’t think we
are necessarily meant to have all the answers.

Just like Lewis Carroll wrote, “Who in the world am I? Ah,
that’s the great puzzle.” A puzzle worth completing, no? But we only complete
it one piece at a time and we can’t cheat and look at the box (I am still a
firm believer in the “no box looking” rule, but lately my mother has gotten all
pansy in her puzzling skills and she totally looks at the box. What is up with
that?!), though sometimes we start to see patterns and stuff that help us get
the right pieces.

So just like the lady who is obsessed with little girls
noted, power comes in remembering the who
of our life. And just like I have declared in wayyyy toooo mannnnyyyy of my
other posts, being an English major really is the best because we get to study
what it means to be human. In an aesthetically pleasing way. At least most of
the time;)