Married to Baseball

The most excited fan

There are three things my husband Ken dislikes: cursing, drunk women and fans who go “over the top” upon noticing him in public.

She wasn’t drunk, and she didn’t swear, but a female clerk in a furniture store once became way too excited when Ken Singleton walked in.

We were there to purchase an easy chair for his dad (“Pop,” now an angel), but gauging by this woman’s reaction, you would have thought we were hosting a Baltimore Orioles team parade right past her desk.

Recognizing Ken immediately launched her fully into what I call “excited nervous fan” mode. In case you haven’t ever witnessed this kind of dialogue, it goes something like this, and is spoken all in one breath:

“OH MY!!! It’s Ken Singleton!!!You’re Ken Singleton, right??!! The ball player??You are, aren’t you?? You used to play for the Orioles??I can’t believe Ken Singleton just walked in!!Oh my!! I need to get an autograph!! Can I have your autograph?? And I should take your picture!! Can I take your picture??Wait, do I even have a camera?? Or a pen?? Do you have a pen??Oh I have to call my husband!! He’s NEVER going to believe this!!” …

And with similar exclamation points that continued much too long for our comfort, the woman ran to her desk to dial – we guess her husband, wherever he was – to announce the big news.

We took the opportunity to escape along the rows of furniture, selected a comfy-looking, rose-colored easy chair for Pop, and vamoosed out of the store before Excitable Lady could tackle Ken, tie him to a piece of furniture and slap a price tag on his chest.

I’ve witnessed other fans react “happily” when they spotted my husband out and about doing ordinary human things (being that he’s an ordinary guy who buys milk and dog food), but this lady wins for Most Excited Fan, taking the cake in the excitability department … using the shrillest voice to have ever reverberated throughout Baltimore.

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