RWN’s 100 Favorite Movie Quotes Of All Time

Lois Einhorn: “I can make your life a living hell.” Ace Ventura: “I’m not ready for a relationship right now Lois.” — Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

“You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.” — American Pie

“Bluto’s right, psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these b*stards. Now, we could fight ’em with conventional weapons, that could take years, and cost millions of lives. No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture, be done on somebody’s part.” — Animal House

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” — Animal House

“I could’ve even been king. But in my own way, I am king.” (To woman in his arms) “Hail to the king, baby.” — Army of Darkness

“First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.” – Army of Darkness

“Good…Bad…I’m the guy with the gun.” — Army of Darkness

“You ain’t leading but two things right now: Jack and Sh*t. And Jack just left town.” — Army Of Darkness

“She’s the village bicycle! Everybody’s had a ride.” — Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

“Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it’s called “doing the hibbidy-dibbidy.”– Big Daddy

Wang Chi: “A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, Jack.” Egg Shen: “Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get in out of the rain.” — Big Trouble In Little China

“Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, ‘Give me your best shot. I can take it.'” — Big Trouble in Little China

“No, no, don’t do that, don’t do that. If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad.” — Blazing Saddles

Hedley Lamarr: “My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.” Taggart: “Gal-darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.” — Blazing Saddles

“How much for the little girl? Your women – how much for the women?” — The Blues Brothers

“Here are Scotland’s terms: Lower your flags and march straight back to England. Stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness for 100 years of theft, rape, and murder. Do that, and your men shall live. Do it not, and everyone of you will die today.” — Braveheart

“If working here means I am within 10 yards of you, I would rather wipe Saddam Hussein’s arse!” — Bridget Jones’ Diary

“How many times do I have to tell you to STOP SHOOTING AT THE THERMONUCLEAR WEAPON?” — Broken Arrow

“Like maple syrup, Canada’s evil oozes over the United States.” — Canadian Bacon

“All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, or nun, is some serious deep-d*ckin’.” — Chasing Amy

“I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t, I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship – no pun intended – but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know…I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that – and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this f*cking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.” — Chasing Amy

“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the f*cking customers.” — Clerks

“You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what’s your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?” — Clerks

“[T]here’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.” — Clerks

“My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted Death Star, were innocent victims when they were destroyed by the Rebels.” — Clerks

“Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value!” — Clueless

“Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one will know if we were good men, or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. But all that matters is that two stood against many. I know that battle pleases you crom, so grant me one request. GRANT ME REVENGE! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!” — Conan

“Murderer? Murderer!? Let me tell you a little something about murder. It’s fun, it’s easy, and you gonna learn all about it. [pulls out two knives] I’d like you to meet two buddies of mine. We never miss.” — The Crow

“I know what you’re thinking, “Did he fire six shots, or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But, being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question, “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya punk?” — Dirty Harry

“I’ve seen the future. You know what it is? It’s a 47-year-old virgin, sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing, “I’m an Oscar Meyer wiener.” — Demolition Man

“You’re gonna regret this the rest of your life . . . both seconds of it.” — Demolition Man

“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.” — Die Hard

“Yippy-ki-yay mother-f*cka.” — Die Hard

“I do have a test today, that wasn’t bullsh*t. It’s on European Socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they’re Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.” — Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a d*mn what you think you are entitled to.” — A Few Good Men

“I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture, and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.” — Full Metal Jacket

“God has a hard on for marines, because we kill everything we see.” — Full Metal Jacket

“Let’s show this prehistoric b*tch how we do things downtown.” — Ghostbusters

“We came. We saw. We kicked its *ss!” — Ghostbusters

“Bullsh*t! I know Nixon personally. He lugs a trainload of sh*t behind him that would fertilize a Sinai. Why I wouldn’t buy an apple from the son-of-a-b*tch and I consider him a good close personal friend.” — Good Morning Vietnam

“There are two types of people in the world – those with a gun, and those who dig. Now dig!” — The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

“Kid, don’t threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them.” — Hackers

“In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And, you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind,” that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps, it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom–not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We’re fighting for our right to live–to exist. And, should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish, without a fight. We’re going to live on. We’re going to survive. Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!” — Independence Day

“I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. One day he tells me it’s MY fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife and told him it was HIS fault I was stabbing him.” — Living Out Loud

“Oooh! Ahhh! That’s how it always starts. Then later there’s running and screaming.”– The Lost World: Jurassic Park

by Sir John Hawkins

John Hawkins's book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know is filled with lessons that newly minted adults need in order to get the most out of life. Gleaned from a lifetime of trial, error, and writing it down, Hawkins provides advice everyone can benefit from in short, digestible chapters.

“I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game–featuring you–while singing your own song in a new commercial–starring you–broadcast during the Superbowl in a game that you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens. I’ll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.” — Jerry Maguire

“Brodie, I’ve always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of “Mighty Mouse,” I did it. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother barged in, I said okay. And even during my grandmother’s funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. But if you think I’m gonna suffer any of your sh*t with a smile now that we’re broken up, you’re in for some serious f*cking disappointment!” — Mallrats

“Lord…whatever I’ve done to piss you off…if you could just get me out of this and somehow let me know what it was I promise to rectify the situation.” — Maverick

“You will dress only in attire specially sanctioned by M.I.B. special services. You’ll conform to the identity we give you. Eat where we tell you. Live where we tell you. From now on, you’ll have no identifying marks of any kind. You will not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You are a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu, and dismissed just as quickly. You don’t exist. You were never even born. Anonymity is your name, silence is your native tongue. You are no longer part of the system. You are above the system, over it, beyond it. We’re “them.” We’re “they.” We are the Men in Black.” — Men In Black

“A person is smart; people are dumb panicky dangerous animals and you know it.” — Men In Black

“This has GOT to be a nine-point-oh on my weird-sh*t-o-meter.” — Men In Black

“[I] need to tell you something about your skills: as of right now, they mean precisely d*ck.” — Men In Black

“You wanna shake hands with the devil, that’s fine with me, I just wanna make sure you do it in Hell.” — Mission Impossible

“Listen, strange women lying in ponds and handing out swords is no basis for a system of government.” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all…with nasty big pointy teeth!” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“I don’t want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“You don’t frighten us, English pig-dog! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose on you, so-called Arthur-king, you and your silly English kiniggets.” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“And the Lord spoke, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.” — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“It is much better to be the right hand of the devil than to be in his path.” — The Mummy

“I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d*ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh*t he is! Hallelujah! Holly Sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

“We’re all gonna have so much f*cking fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our Godd*mn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your *ssholes!” — National Lampoon’s Vacation

“Ya know, if I wasn’t in uniform, I’d split your skull with the butt of this revolver, faster than you could say “police brutality.” — National Lampoon’s Vacation

“We went for breakfast… in Canada. We made a deal: if she’d stop hooking, I’d stop shooting people. I guess we were both aiming a little high.” — Payback

Col. Jimmy Dolittle: “Do you know what Top Secret means?” Rafe McCawley: “Yeah, it’s the kind of mission where you get medals, but they send them to your relatives.” — Pearl Harbor

“Gentlemen, you know the rules–there are no rules. This is a fight to the finish. The first man who’s dead loses.” — Popeye

“[T]hat’s angel food cake. You touch her and the Food and Drug Administration will get ya for f*cking food.” — Porky’s

“There’s a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.” I been sayin’ that sh*t for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your *ss. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherf*cker before you popped a cap in his *ss. But I saw some sh*t this mornin’ made me think twice. Now I’m thinkin: it could mean you’re the evil man. And I’m the righteous man. And Mr. .45 here, he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous *ss in the valley of darkness. Or is could by you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. I’d like that. But that sh*t ain’t the truth. The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be a shepherd.” — Pulp Fiction

“Life is pain Highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something.” — The Princess Bride

“There’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years: sometimes you gotta say “what the f*ck” and make your move.” — Risky Business

“Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and F*ck the prom queen.” — The Rock

“All I have in this world are my balls and my word, and I don’t break them for anybody.” — Scarface

“Those creatures are taking over the world… that’s so mean.” — Scooby-Doo

“Ernest Hemingway once wrote, ‘The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.” — Se7en

“Some of you are going to die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” — Shrek

“Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.” — Space Balls

“Just remember what the MPAA says: Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don’t say any naughty words!” — South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut

“It’s been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him.” — South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut

“Naked force has settled more issues in history than any other factor. The contrary opinion ‘violence never solves anything’ is wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always pay…They pay with their lives and their freedom.” — Starship Troopers

“From hell’s heart, I stab at thee, for hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” — Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Kahn

“When I was a kid, my father told me, “never hit anyone in anger, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it.” — Stripes

Stanley: “War? Who are we at war with?” Gabriel: “Anyone who impinges on America’s freedom. Terrorist states, Stanley. Someone must bring their war to them. They bomb a church, we bomb 10. They hijack a plane, we take out an airport. They execute American tourist, we tactically nuke an entire city. Our job is to make terrorism so horrific that is becomes unthinkable to attack Americans.” — Swordfish

“Turn it off, man! Turn it off! It’s sucking my will to live!” — Wayne’s World

“[A] while ago, this humongous comet came crashing into the Earth. Bam! Total devastation. End of the world at we know it–no celebrities, no cable T.V., no water. It hasn’t rained in 11 years. Now, 20 people gotta squeeze inside the same bathtub. So, it ain’t all bad.” — Tank Girl

“I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick *ss…and I’m all out of bubble gum.” — They Live

“All right Clanton, you called down the thunder and now you’ve got it. You see that? It says United States Marshall. Take a good look at him Ike because that’s how your gonna end up. The cowboys are finished you understand me? I see a red sash, I kill the man wearing it. So run you cur, run, tell all the other curs that law is coming, you tell I’m coming, and Hell’s coming with me you hear? Hell’s coming with me.” — Tombstone

“If they find out you’ve seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.” — Top Secret

“Those without swords still die upon them.” — The Two Towers

“You better bury Ned right; and don’t you be cutting up or otherwise harming no whores, or I’ll come back and kill all you sons a b*tches.” — Unforgiven

“Our Father in Heaven, before we go into battle, every soldier among us will approach you each in his own way. Our enemies too, according to their own understanding, will ask for protection and for victory. And so, we bow before your infinite wisdom. We offer our prayers as best we can. I pray you watch over the young Jack Geoghegan. That I lead into battle. You use me as your instrument in this awful hell of war to watch over them. Especially if they’re men like this one beside me, deserving of a future in your blessing and goodwill. Amen….Oh, yes, and one more thing, dear Lord, about our enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those little b*stards straight to Hell. Amen.” — We Were Soldiers Once…And Young

“Mr. West, not every situation requires your patented approach of shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more and then when everybody’s dead try to ask a question or two.” — Wild Wild West

“If we’re caught, we’re gonna hang… But there’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.” — Young Guns