After-Action Reports

Overview

By common reckoning the Lords of Kobol are numbered twelve, though the canonical list changes now and again and may be tallied differently on one colony versus another. Just as in the ancient Greek world the worship of these deities varied from city to city, we can presume that the Lords of Kobol were not worshipped in any one homogenous way. If your character is a devotee of one or more of these deities, please feel free to visit that deity's personal wiki page and add information about the cult practices with which your character is familiar.

A list of some of the most well-known of Kobol's gods follows, courtesy of Evandreus' (BSG Cerberus) player!

The Lords of Kobol

Name

Emblem

Description

Aphrodite

Once upon a time the universe existed in perpetual sexual union, male joined with female, Heaven with Earth. Sadly, Earth was getting pretty uncomfortable with all the babies in her belly that couldn't get out because Heaven's damned penis was in the way. So she snuck her littlest boy a scythe and off went daddy's naughty bits, which flew into the ocean and turned into the Goddess Aphrodite, who in her turn encapsulates everything that has to do with the urges, emotions, and results of sticking the boyparts in the girlparts again.

Apollo

When Apollo was born the world trembled with fear that he would overthrow his father Zeus, as Zeus had overthrown his father, and so on and so forth into infinity. But no, he made it very clear that all he wanted to do was to let mankind know about the will of his father. Nothing to fear, here! So he takes his place in the heavens, associated with the sun, but also is tied to the chthonic site of Delphi, and the Omphalos, the belly-button of the world, from which he utters things which were, and are, and are yet to be. The Pythia is the mouthpiece of Apollo at Delphi, and the closest thing the Colonies have to a single religious leader.

Ares

Hera's child, perhaps by Zeus, perhaps by parthneogenesis, Ares is the instinctual in battle, the bloodthirstiness and the panic, the chaos and the roar. He is said to have committed the first murder. The only ones who can tame the savage warrior are his lover, Aphrodite, who keeps him ensnared in her charms, and her husband, Hephaestus, whose cunning in craft and inventions allowed him to trap the god in his bed. The moral of this story? Rage and righteous indignation are all very well and good, but won't win a war against someone with a better gun.

Artemis

For all of Ares' savagery, Artemis is the most vicious and vindictive of all the gods of Kobol. She is the only divinity to accept human sacrifice, an act generally considered to be highly unholy. The least of unintended sleights to her numen will lead to nothing but trouble from her. A virgin goddess, herself, she demands the strictest chastity of her followers. These followers, however, should always remember to treat Aphrodite with respect, and not disdain. Hippolytus learned that lesson.

Asclepius

Asclepius is the son of Apollo and was so learned in medicine that he discovered a method of bringing the dead back to life. Zeus smote him with a thunderbolt in order to restore the balance of the universe but Asclepius had figured out too many divine secrets to settle quietly down in Hades. These days, he passes his time as the self-professed Saviour of Man, bringing healing and prophetic dreams to those who go spend the night in his sanctuaries. Sexual union with his priests is said to improve one's chances, though it's only his priests who say it.

Athena

Athena, the grey-eyed (or possibly owl-eyed) daughter of Zeus and Zeus' first wife Metis, whose name means "trickery." The big trick? Athena was a girl, and not a boy. Sort of. She was a boy in every way but two: by technicality, by which fact Zeus effectively dodged being dethroned by his legitimate son, and by the fact that she was cunning in war, rather than simply manly, like the decidedly more masculine Ares. Trickery is considered a "weak" or "feminine" virtue, but it's one which Athena and her followers put to good use.

Aurora

Aurora Rhododactyllos, much praised by the poets. Also called Eos, she's the sister of the archaic Titan Hyperion/Sol/Phoebus, the goddess of the dawn who casts dew on the grass and announces the arrival of her brother Apollo. She bestows favor upon sailors, giving them omens for the day's sailing, and she is worshipped under the name Matutina by women who are about to give birth. She and her sister/alter ego Selene are the only goddesses to have not just consorted with but actually married mortal men, Tithonus and Endymion, who were granted immortal life. She has thus been regarded as a goddess of good fortune, and on many colonies has been conflated with the goddess Tyche/Fortuna herself.

Demeter

Demeter, the next Earth Mother, following in the footsteps of Ge and Rhea, the chthonic deity who sends forth the grains year after year. Having lost her seat at the oracle to Apollo after the Lord slew her sacred serpent, and subsequently having lost her daughter by her brother Zeus to her other brother Hades, she no longer announces her oracles to Man — she makes Man come to her. Her secrets are the most famous in the Colonies, and even those who don't count themselves as faithful give a second thought to seeking out her mysteries uninitiated, for the stigma that comes of having violated the Lady can confer just as many curses upon a mortal as the Lady herself.

Dionysus

Dionysus was the only Lord to have been born a mortal, and to have known the pain of death before rising again to godhood. For this reason he's a compassionate Lord, and gives of himself for the comfort of mankind (in the form of wine) and intercedes with the other Lords on their behalf (the role of the wine spilled upon the altar). But for all that he can be the most gentle of gods (epiotatos), he can just as easily be the most terrible (deinotatos), protective of his godly secrets, the orgiastic mysteries which are secondmost in sacredness only to Demeter's, and vengeful upon those who disrespect his divinity.

Hades

Hades is a grasping, miserly Lord who pulls all men and riches to him in the end, a force of inexorable entropy in the world. His cult is not widely tended, his true name only known to those initiated in his mysteries. Hades, his common name, only means "he who is unseen and unknown," and his most common epithet, Ploutos, simply means "wealthy."

Hephaestus

The parentage of Hephaestus is a matter of dispute, but the most common understanding is that he was the son of Hera, who conceived him by parthenogenesis in order to revenge herself upon Zeus for siring and birthing Athena without the use of a mate. Some theologians say he was cast out of Olympus by Zeus in a fit of rage, breaking both of his legs in turn; others assert that, having been born from a virgin mother, Hephaestus also happens to be impotent and lacking in that quintessential "male essence." Whatever his handicap, he also happened to be the only man "qualified" for the job of wedding the goddess Aphrodite. The one time he was inspired to erection was with love for the virgin Athena, but he only managed to drip a little semen on her thigh.

Hera

Sister and wife to Zeus, the white-armed goddess, the cow-eyed Queen of Heaven. Marriage is her sacred institution, and politics and political machinations, power and royalty are her spheres of influence. She became the minister over marriages due to their being the primary way in which power was aligned, shared, and distributed in the period in which the Scriptures were written, and the band of gold that has come to symbolize the commitment between two people originally symbolized the collaboration and accumulation of capital between two families. She protects the sanctity of marriage and condemns infidelity, though divorce and re-marriage are amply attested to in her cult rites.

Hermes

Hermes' original domain was borders and boundaries; he was known as a rustic deity worshipped at the boundaries between farms to keep the herds belonging to one man separate from those belonging to another. But as the Lord of these boundaries he also had a singular power to traverse them, and soon became the patron of merchants and thieves. He also governs the art of linguistic manipulation and translation, and was said to have invented the lie— the abiity to manipulate words to represent something other than reality. He is still worshipped at the boundaries of sacred precints by the presence of statues known as Herms, blocks of stone with the head of the god on top and the phallus of the god sticking out in front, threatening with rape all who would transgress the boundaries of the sanctuary with ill-intent.

Hestia

Zeus' oldest sister, Hesita counts hearths, alters, and fireplaces as her perview. Assigned the task of maintain the holy fires the first sacrifice is her's where ever food was cooked or offerings burnt, and she's often at the focus point of social and familial life. Often worshiped by the leading women of households, her cult does however welcome all who wish to find a home within her embrace. Hestia rejected marriage suits from Poseidon and Apollo, and swore herself to perpetual virginity. She thus rejected Aphrodite's values and became, to some extent, her chaste, domestic complementary, or antithesis.

Poseidon

Lord of the seas, Earthshaker, lord of horses. A protector of seafarers, and later spacefarers Poseidon was a friendly and helpful god when venerated, but had a vengeful streak if he felt he was being ignored. Not enough offerings? Expect earthquakes as he smote the ground with his trident, tidalwaves, and shipwrecks. The middle brother of Hades and Zeus, he often worked closest with Apollo and was the previous caretaker of the oracle at Delphi before his nephew took it over. His fondness for horses has never conclusively been explained, but sailors in surface navies of old called the breaking white spray of waves 'white horses' inhis honour, and of course, to let him know they were thinking of him to keep him placated.

Zeus

Greatest of the Lords and Ladies, Zeus is the head of the pantheon, and father, lover, or sibling to most of the others. Lord of the skies, and the thunder, the sun is said to be his eye, and while he is the youngest of his siblings but through acts of great valour has risen to prominance amongst them. Linked to the Oracle at Dodona, which while lesser known that Delphi is still none-the-less influencial in it's own priesthood. Fatherhood is a common theme, with stories abounding of liasons between fellow deities and mortals alike leading to around 125 alleged offspring. He's most commonly connected to Hera though, with whom he fathered Ares and perhaps Hephaestus. Strong, firm, protective, vengeful, he is not a God to be messed with lightly.