This blog is devoted to stuff that white people like

#100 Bumper Stickers

It is a fact that white people will never turn down an opportunity to enlighten other people on the correct way to think. While this is very easy to do through email or face to face conversation, it is exceptionally difficult to do while driving a car. Fortunately for white people there is a solution that is both popular and ineffective: bumper stickers.

Before talking about the types of bumper stickers that white people like, it’s very important to get an understanding about layout and placement. When a white person drives an older car (6+ years old) that has a resale value under $2000, they will coat the entire backside of the car in bumper stickers. Because of the abundance of space they are free to include stickers from all areas of white support: music, politics, the environment, insults to right wing politicians, and various movements that tell people to keep a city “weird.”

But when white people have a nice new car such as a Prius or an Audi station wagon, the fear of losing resale value prevents them from applying more than one sticker. Therefore that one sticker must properly capture the essence of the car and the political views of the driver.

The safest and most accepted choice for a sticker is always one that supports a Democratic Presidential candidate (Ralph Nader is an acceptable substitute). As of February 2008, white law requires an Obama 08 bumper sticker to be placed on the back of every Prius. Though these stickers reach peak effectiveness during an election year, it is acceptable to leave this sticker on the car until the next election regardless of whether or not the candidate actually won. If it’s a disputed election like in 2000, the sticker can be left on for the life of the car.

If a white person does not feel like supporting a candidate, they will likely select a bumper sticker that tells other people what to do. Some popular ones include telling people to Coexist and to stop eating meat.

Though there is no conclusive evidence about the effectiveness of these stickers, white people show no signs of abandoning the campaign. In fact, there is a popular tale in white mythology that tells of an unenlightened man driving on the freeway who saw a bumper sticker on the back of a Subaru station wagon that said “Go Veg.” The sticker was so moving that he threw the hamburger he was eating right out the window and became a vegetarian on the spot. Two days later, he affixed the same bumper sticker to their car and the process began anew until enough people had changed their views to form what we now know as the city of Portland, Oregon.

The only other acceptable sticker option for white people is the white oval country tag sticker used commonly in Europe to help identify cars that cross international borders. Though they actually serve a function in Europe, white people use the stickers to show people where they like to take vacations. If you know a white person with one of these stickers, it’s always a good idea to ask them about where they got the sticker. Your question will justify the presence of the sticker and make the white person feel great.

If you have decided that you want to improve your status with white people by applying a bumper sticker to your car do not make the assumption that you can just use anything! Stickers that support right wing politics, guns, patriotism, war, or hunting are all unacceptable. It is also unacceptable to use a sticker with a clever slogan that does not support a left wing political cause. Any of these stickers will likely end any chance you had of befriending a white person.

Note: attaching a yellow magnetic ribbon to the back of your car will result in being shunned from some of the stricter white communities and should avoided at all costs.

I saw a car in Russian Hill (San Francisco) that is an older Volvo that was COMPLETELY covered in Obama stickers.
I so wish I had my camera at the ready.
Because I knew my second favorite blog would be doing an entry.

My bumper stickers include
1) WAKA Kickball
2) Apple
3) Support Stem Cell Research
4) “I would rather be on a rocket vacation” with a picture of the great Frank Chu.

Spot on, as always. In England the compulsory white person bumper sticker is ‘A dog is for life … not just for Christmas’. This is because England is full of people who will happily ignore the misery and poverty of their local council estate, but will completely flip out if somebody shoots a mean look at a domestic animal. After all, this is a country where the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) was only founded several decades after the Royal National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) – and the NSPCC was an off-shoot of the RSPCA, and still doesn’t enjoy the royal patronage…

The author regrettably omitted an important sub-species of bumper/window sticker: the Law Enforcement Support Sticker. This is frequently seen on the bumpers of white people in large urban areas where the local constabulary is particularly stringent in the application of traffic control regulations. These stickers are generally more expensive than standard stickers, in that they require a more-than-modest donation to a local law enforcement auxiliary. However, such stickers are generally considered the legal equivalent of a license to drive fifteen to twenty miles over the posted speed limit, especially on freeways and highways.

The display of such a sticker is generally not considered to be in bad taste, nor necessarily in conflict with other stated positions (“Keep XXXXXX Weird!”). However, displaying one of these in conjunction with “Legalize It!” or any NORML-related sticker is ill-advised.

Just a factual correction: those white country tags are being mostly abandoned over here, at least within the EU. Reason is simple: identification of the country is visible from the license plate.
However, due to their rarity they might start becoming more and more atractive in the future.

hahaha, so true, I’m from Portland, I’m so sick of the “Keep Portland Weird” bumper stickers, the lame Coexist ones and everything else in this article. Really Portland is probably one of the LEAST FRIENDLY and MOST INTOLERANT towns I’ve ever had the fortune of living in- they are liberal and tolerant as long as you are a white-gay-emo-asshole-vegan-gender-neutral-asshole. That should be a bumper sticker!

You totally forgot about those homos with new cars that TAPE bumber stickers to their window so as to not lower the resale value of their precious diesel VW running nothing but the purest form of fuel in the world with NO ill side effects to the planet that they care to admit, biodiesel!!!

I find it humorous that in spite of the SUCK factor of the Cubs, they get mad props in the form of pieces of sticky paper that will devalue the car onto which they’re stuck. Looks like the fans are getting screwed twice.

“Because of the abundance of space they are free to include stickers from all areas of white support: music, politics, the environment, insults to right wing politicians, and various movements that tell people to keep a city ‘weird.’ ”

The Ovals (either in the rear window or on the bumper) are de riguer in the Northeast, as they signify whether one summers on Nantucket (highest general prestige), Martha’s Vinyard (next general prestige) or Cape Cod (a bit common, but some prestige in some circles). People who read The New Yorker put Ovals on their cars

The true upper class rarely puts bumper stickers on their cars. They summer primarily on small islands or villages in Maine or the St. Lawrence River, Fisher’s Island, or in long-time family compounds known as “camps” in the Adirondacks, with some families still preferring very private parts of the Cape or Newport. Since everyone who matters knows where they summer (because they read “Diliatory Domiciles” in the “Book”), and it’s bad manners to rub others noses in one’s privileges, they rarely use the ovals.

A subset of bumper stickers, of course, would be “car window decals” — for there the WASP gets true mileage: the only acceptable ones are the Oval (but see above), a club sticker, a decal for a prep school in which one’s children are enrolled, and ivy league college decals for the colleges one’s children attend(ed). Your own ivy league college decal is fine while you are a student, and probably OK if you’re under 30, but is borderline uncool much beyond graduation.

When people I haven’t seen for a while say “hi” they usually also ask me “how’s the ‘stickermobile’?” I have had two Olds Custom Cruiser station wagoons for the past 25+ yrs, the 1st an ’85 that rotted to death from all the salt used on wintertime roads in NE Ohio, the 2nd an ’87 that I found for sale in a WalMart parking lot — a Southern car, no less, and one that I plan to keep for a long time. With so much square footage to decorate, people give me bumper stickers that they can’t use or don’t want. Pretty much my politics are right wing and our family has gone to lots of different schools, so these decals are pre-eminent, but I still have a Ramones sticker that my son put on and Euro-style white ovals identifying our summer island resort. We also have an ’87 Mazda that is the “island car” and this has a fine assortment of stickers as well. When I see a car with Gore-Lieberman 2000, I usually give a toot and a friendly wave. Let bygones be bygones, I say.

Although not technically a “bumper sticker,” it serves the same purpose. It alerts other drivers on the road that your child is athletic while quietly mocking other, less creative stickers and magnets.

I have window decals in lieu of bumper stickers. I have TOOL on one side and QUEENSRYCHE on the other. They’re both unassuming and you have to get close-up to figure out what they are, but I am confident in my knowledge that I am appropriately acknowledging the two greatest bands in recent history.

It’s assumed that the child of the right kind of white person is an honor student (but not a greasy grind), a good athlete (but not a loathesome ‘jock’), and a good musician (but not one of those “oriental nerd practice machines who are technically excellent, but lack feeling”). Anything less, and the parents of said white child would not be the ‘right kind’ of white person.

White people love to show their parental support for little Johnny, Suzzie and .5 (reference to the 2.5 children in household average) by plastering their car with stickers from the current and previous 4 years of honor studenting. “My son/daughter is a Honor Student/Student of the Month at XYZ school”

“Free Tibet” is a classic bumper sticker favored among white people in my area. However, over the past few months I’ve been noticing nearly as many Obama 08 stickers in the local Whole Foods parking lot.

What about those decals of stick figure families you see on the back of white people’s minivans or mid-size SUV’s? The mom, the dad, the two bratty kids and they even have decals for the pets. I see those EVERYWHERE. And the person driving the car is almost always white. OCCASIONALLY the person might be american-born chinese, but still.

My favorite as of late are the ones that say “”It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.” The text is so small that if you’re able to read it you’ve been in a rear-end collision.

Perhaps a follow-up is necessary (not in Portland): “If the schools ever have to drop 2000 pound precision JTAM bombs we’d have wished that schools stuck to bake sales.”

Once upon a time that would have been a wash (+ for the oval, – for being military), maybe even a net + if the car was a classic small British (MG, Austin-Healy, Jag pre-Type E) or German (Prosche Speedster or older) sports car.

Now it’s just a big negative – because too many ethnics in this country have the European country ovals (especially Irish and Italians – who are almost never the ‘right kind’ of white people) and the negative is multiplied by your being ex-military (unless you were a military brat who was sent home for being rebellious).

I think Mr. Lander is a little off here, although quite correct about the “white” person’s affinity for bumper stickers! But if the car is less than three years old, one bumper sticker will be placed strategically on the back window of the vehicle, not the bumper. Between three and five years old, two or three more strategically placed stickers are acceptable. When the car is between five and ten years old, the back window stickers must be removed in favor of one sticker on the bumper. After ten years, it’s every white person for herself.

I’ve been pondering this since my first exposure to this blog and I have finally decided to voice my thoughts. I don’t understand why every thing “white people like” is also liberal. This post especially brought the contradiction to my attention: are not, stereotypically too of course, whites the race of the GOP and blacks the poster child for the democratic cause?! It is not safe to say that either party more or less represents the caucasian race so from that, this blog is entirely too unbalanced; I’ve yet to read a post that when making political statements, says that it is okay or “acceptable of the white culture” to being anything other than liberal- not even moderate for christ’s sake!
The blog was funny, but honestly, there is only so long I can read this. If your agenda is really to make fun of “Stuff Over-Educated, Liberal, Middle Class White People Originally From The Suburbs Like,” then the name of this blog is so misleading. I can’t read another day of anti-conservativism- it is more this than pro-liberalism.

Not to trash on your post (I agree for the most part) but this blog is TRASHING on white-neo-liberalism… they’re using satire to ridicule all things white & liberal (rather than white OR liberal)… so all you white-liberal-fucktards who THINK you know best, this blog is obviously a middle finger in your face 🙂

And a special mention of the first cousin of the white person bumper sticker — the magnetic Jesus fish with Darwinian feet that has led tens of thousands of people away from Our Lord and Saviour. Notice the super-white European spelling of ‘saviour.’

My gawd, lighten up! This is completely about West Coast, urban, hip, uber-liberal, fish-belly white people. Ones who send their kids to Harvard-Westlake, and themselves went to second-tier Ivies like Brown and Cornell. Whites who support Barry Obama (see, we’re tolerant, we support a mutt Muzzie), shop at Whole Foods (the only ones who can afford to) and go to movies at the Nuart.

The South does skew this author’s points a bit. Or, another way to look at it is to say that no matter how much money a person has, if he still supports the (current) war, current president, etc, he isn’t the sort of upper-class white guy C. Lander writes about.
When you start hanging around Southern private schools, you will start to believe that there are way too many overpaid crackers out there.

Because making fun of Republicans and rednecks is like shooting fish in a barrel. And besides, you can’t go around making fun of them if you don’t make fun of your own version of whiteness – the right kind, hahahahahahaha TPFIC

To the person who said “oriental” you are clearly the WRONG kind of white person. Or, just the wrong kind of person. And yes I know you were imitating another speaker, but stop projecting. OI hope you don’t refer to blacks as “negroids” or “minorities” as “coloreds.” The smart individual refers to all Asians as Asian Americans, whether or not they were born in the US or have US citizenship, since they feel guilty, that the “land of the free and the home of the brave” illegalized the Chinese from immigrating in the 1860’s, the Japanese from immigrating in 1904/1906 (women and men, respectively), only to be repealed after WW2. The ONLY group to be racially discriminated against in US immigration history. And black slavery doesn’t count as immigration, ha. Oh yeah, and don’t forget about the various nonsensical and discriminatory taxes the Chinese had to pay to the government for running any kind of business, the lynchings, the beating, muggings etc. after they built your railroads, the key to industrialization and development of the midwest and western states, but didn’t get any recognition for it. Or the fact that the Japanese and Japanese Americans were forcibly removed from their homes and put into “internment camps” during WWII, though many of these people were second, third and fourth generation Americans. They returned to find their homes and businesses vandalized and destroyed, their belongings stolen by their white neighbors. No public words of apology, no generalized system of compensation. Ironically, one of the several all-Japanese American airforce troops was one of the most decorated in all of US history. Ever heard of them? Figures. Otherwise, there would be as many of “us” as there is of “you” in the US, something most white people secretly fear and loath. Fear and loathing: something that goes great together, much like peanut butter and jelly.

There’s no mention of the Jesus Fish that is morphed into a symbol of Darwinism. You know, the Fish with legs and it says “Darwin” inside. Very progressive! I can’t wait to see libs write “Darwin” inside of a Jewish Star of David or a Muslim Crescent. Think that will ever happen? Are they “progressive” enough to do that?

Perhaps if the Japs hadn’t attacked the US on 12/7/41, there would have been no need to put them in camps. Count your blessings that all the “lynchings” you refer to never really happened, Tojo.

Using the term “Asian” sounds so Euro, so PC, so white. Let’s see, my ancestors all came from what is now called Turkey, and we are light-haired, slightly tanned skin and blue/green/hazel eyed. But I guess I can be an Asian too, and claim instant victim status. Cool!

My all-time favorite bumper-sticker was designed to look like a personal-ad. It said “Moody Bitch Seeks Kind, Gentle, Understanding Guy.” That describes my first marriage very accurately in just seven words. –Jeff in Houston, Texas

I was wondering the same thing. I think white people simultaneously love using these stickers and making fun of people who are full enough of themselves (or their kids) to do so. Maybe related to the the love/hate relationship white people have with the Ivy League?

“Stickers that support right wing politics, guns, patriotism, war, or hunting are all unacceptable. ”

No you dickless vendu fucking piece of shit Toronto trash, it is you and your pantywaist, rage-with-the-machine, full-on nihilist, born yesterday and completely uninformed by history political views which are wholly unacceptable.

You are very much The Wrong Kind Of White People. Honestly, you should wait until your balls drop before you dare advise American citizens – you fucking pissant, zero-testosterone, eleven inch bicep Canadian – on how they might proceed in any grownup matter.

Let’s talk about the people you are fronting as the “right” kind of white people. Birth rate? About 0.365 E^-17. Suicide rate? Four times higher than national average. Antidepressant usage? Anectdotally, about 7 out of every 3. Feeding habits? Various forms of eating disorders including anorexia, vegetarianism, cabbage diets, fad diets, and bullimia. Babies? Hate ’em. Criminals? Love ’em. Illegal Aliens? Can’t drive down wages fast enough; who cares about the working class!

You are shit. Your friends are shit. The people who taught you life are shit. Your philosophy, your movies, your sitcoms? Shit, shit, and shit. Darwin would say you are less than pathetic, and he’d be right.

Go pet your cat, go lean to techno music, go do anything but speak about grownup subjects such as life, politics, and the universe, because you, as the “wrong” kind of white person, simply lack the necessities to address such great matters.

I hate the sticker, “So! How are the children?” Uber-smug and very white! I particularly hate it because it supposedly comes from a Masaii (IIRC) greeting…but I am led to believe it is actually the second part of the traditional exchange, which actually starts, “How are the cattle?” Now that’s a bumper sticker I’d put on my (currently stickerless) car.

Recently, a driver with the “Co-exist” sticker on his car cut me off in traffic and flipped me off. Way to live it, mofo!

You missed the ubiquitous white apple sticker!! I’m also disappointed that you missed the opportunity to cover sticker obsession in general– no Nalgene is pure without at least a half a dozen stickers. Canada and Apple (see previous blogs) are quintessentially the top 2.

I can’t tell if Ralph Nader supporters are perfect white people or take it too far. The vast majority of white people I know save a deep level of hatred for people who voted for Ralph Nader in 2000 or 2004 and say it was not a mistake.

i always attach both a jesus fish and a yellow support our troops magnetic ribbon (turned sideways like a jesus fish for the extra god-appeal) to guarantee safe passage across the South and the midwest (a.k.a. the wrong sort of “white folk” a.k.a. “Hillary Supporters”). This has gotten me only written warnings instead of speeding tickets in both Kansas and Texas. Given the fact that I drive a red “foreign car” with (gasp!) California plates and drive like the devil incarnate . .I consider this a minor miracle.

don’t leave home without them, esp. if you are a person of color and can’t pass for “Italian” or “Greek” when the Texas Ranger raps on your window.

Everyone who owns a Smart car has a bumper sticker that goes along the lines of “Don’t blame me for global warming; I drive a Smart car!” A lot of Prius owners do the same thing. Don’t they know that all these stickers want me to do is smash their windshields with an aluminum bat just so I can see the look of horror on their smug, smug faces?

No joke I just thought this very topic would be great the other day. Living in DC, I see plenty, and I would say it’s fair to say that it is a much more common “white” practice, no matter what the philosophical/socio-economic background of the owner.

There are stickers on cars driven by minorities, but they typically differ in these ways: 80% reference JESUS saving things; 15% are flame decals with no message; 5% reference ‘fares’.

This one is just for the Yanks. Means nothing to us Rest of the Worlders. We just use our fingers to write witty things in the dirt that accumulates on the back of lorries and vans. The most common one these days (apart from insulting the Pope\Queen) is “If you think this is dirty you should see the driver’s maw”. Gerron.

and on the inside it had a picture of Reagan saying, “I cannot run again.”

I bought it and have it to this day.

I feel like this about W only I want to take his clever card, douse it in goat urine, light it, set the goat aflame with the burning, urine-soaked card and beat W with the flaming goat until his soul just barely leaves his burning, blistering body, only to be welcomed to the afterlife by thousands of men and women (military and civilian) who have perished either directly or indirectly because he existed, and who are wielding dull, soul-fileting machetes.

And it’s “over-educated, liberal, middle class URBAN white people.” Don’t have to originally be from the ‘burbs. I’m originally from a tiny town, now in Chicago, and I’m a quintessential case of everything he talks about. *cringe!* 😛

Ah yes! A nice, discreet but still eminently visible clear plastic sticker affixed to the inside of the back window, right above the brake light, is very popular. Especially if it announces “Harvard College” or “Stanford University,” etc. Not so much in the case of less-prestigious schools.

The post to which you’re replying and your reply bring to mind a ca. 1960 MAD magazine satire about war movies, the one set 30+ years in the future (a decade ago now at least) had President Roosevelt apologizing to Emperor Hirohito (Politically correct: Showa Emperor) that exploding US warships gave the attaching Japanese pilots headaches and earaches….

This blog has clearly become satirical for “stuff young liberals like” and not white. Whatever happened to the clever posts like “standing still at concerts”, “Asian girls” and “outdoor sportswear” that were SO true of white people regardless of political affiliation? I hope Clander’s book is like that, because this isn’t as funny anymore. I’m not white and I totally am this post! I decorated the back of my ’86 with loads of liberal bumper stickers, because what else do you do with a car that old.

Boo Clander, bring back the funny posts that are actually stuff white people like!

This applies to all categories of whites too…rednecks will invariably have a flag or army bumper sticker tattooed on their 4×4

Hippies will have something about being a vegan or freeing mumia

yuppies will have something of or relating to the past, current of future elections

The parents will have cation signs that indicate that there are children in the car…oh yeah and the obnoxious “My Child is an perpetual honor roll student at St. Alexander (or other saint) Middle School”

In 2004, here in SW Ohio at least, the Kerry supporters put their b-stickers up inside the rear window. I saw very few on actual bumpers. It was like they were either really timid, unsure, too elite to stoop, or…didn’t know their rear from a hole in the ground.

Yes, I’ve seen the button as well, though usually on the backpacks of what I’ve assume were high school and college students. Of course, unlike in America, not every student automatically owns his/her own car, so another mode of expression is necessary for the younger set.

Here’s an added twist to the Canadian situation…no liberal bookstore up here is complete without a wall of anti-Bush bumper stickers behind the register. Yet you never see these stickers transferred to the backs of vehicles. How very odd…

Works for the Bo-Wash Corridor version as well – different schools perhaps (egad, did Harvard and Westlake merge? Next, it’ll be Miss Hamlin’s merging with a boy’s school….) but otherwise the same schtick.

In addition to vacation destinations, white people like to use these stickers to denote ancestry, too. Especially try with 4th, 5th, 6th and on white Americans?

My Jetta has two stickers:

I (heart) my cat
Peace is Possible (with the flags of Israel and Palestine)

Since the second sticker is small, all you can make out is a rainbow of colors. This combined with the cat sticker and the fact that it is a Jetta makes all of my husband’s clients think that he is gay. : ) He’s also a very in touch-with-his-emotions psychotherapist which also may contribute to the confusion.

I might break down and put an Obama sticker on my Lexus. Not sure if I’ll come to the breaking point or not.

I agree with some of those above posts – the 11-99 (or is it 99-11?) foundation plate frames are pretty popular (at least in LA). These are mostly found among somewhat sleezy, new money white people who think that they have a lot of power and importance and want to be above the law. My least favorite type of white person.

I guess I’m something of a subversive. White people (the kind discussed here) tend to LOVE my bumper sticker which says:

“Save An Elk….. Shoot A Land Developer!”

They assume that I am making some kind of animal rights statement or something. NO. I’m really saying, that I don’t like ugly and excessive development (my girlfriend’s parents are land developers, but they are in Kansas, so nobody cares what or how much they build). I’m also saying to save the elk for those of us who look forward to hunting, shooting, killing and eating this most tasty species!

No, I wasn’t. After we got married I discovered that she (and her mother) suffered from bipolar-disorder. Unlike her mother she wasn’t on medication and refused to take any. Nine years of sheer hell ensued.

The verbal & mental abuse was almost daily and during that time she physically assaulted me 3- to 4-dozen times. Why did I endure it for nine years? A couple of reasons:

For one, we conceived on our wedding night. My worthless father deserted my mother & I completely without warning when I was ten years old. I was determined to be there for my children. For another, back then (married in ’86), my Faith was very important to me and I didn’t take my marriage vows lightly.

On 12 August, 1995, I was minutes away from leaving the house when she had an “episode.” I had detected that she was in a bad mood and was trying to make my escape. She attacked me and I back away, asking her to stop. She backed me into a corner and I very minimally defended myself. I give you my word, I _always_ exercised great restraint.

At absolutely _any_ point she could’ve ended the fight (that she started) and let me walk away and that would’ve been it. Instead, she went and called the police. I thought to myself “If I leave I look guilty,” so I waited out front.

“No good deed goes unpunished.” She lied to the police and I was arrested at the age of 36 for the first time in my life. For the next 18 months the Bexar county legal system made my life hell all over again. God Bless America.

Deputy Elizabeth Richardson, badge #247, of the Bexar county sherrif’s department (San Antonnio, Texas), may you rot in Hell for all eternity and get f***ed in the ass twenty times a day by whoever invented tele-marketers, social security and rap-music. Yeah, I said it, you’re damn right I did.

I divorced the skanky bitch, of course. She never told the truth about what happened. I just barely managed to hang on to my job although with no chance of of ever getting another promotion. Spent the kid’s college money on defense and divorce attorneys. Eventually filed for bankruptcy. I take an antidepressant to this day because of that time in my life.

This happened just a few months after the O.J. thing and a witch-hunt was on. From the very beginning I was offered “a deal” if I’d just plead guilty. I steadfastly refused and insisted on a trial. The D.A. never bothered to tell my attorney that the arresting officer quit six months after I was arrested. On my third trial date, 19 February, 1997, the charges were dismissed. Eventually a complete expungment of the record was done. Small consolation.

In the South, you haven’t arrived as a White Person until you’ve had a Darwin fish (or its close cousin, the pirate fish) ripped off your vehicle. There needs to be a little residue left to point to while sighing, or you have to start over.

This topic may have been covered already, but window decals with a students sport/number/name/school are very popular. They are placed on the back window to show a) my child’s school is better than yours because we can afford to mass produce these window decals and 2) my child is better than yours and I’m broadcasting that fact in my window. Stick that next to an apple decal and you’ve got a good white parent!

Yes, it’s the 11-99 Foundation, something to do with CHP guys killed on the job. I’m sure the cops could care less if you have a sticker saying this, if all you are is some obnoxious, liberal Persian Jew from the Westside.

…again those are NOT the “Right” kind of white people…
That is my point, the inability to see one’s ethnic grouping as being set apart into different factions, means that some white people see themselves and ALL white people as generic…nothing could be farther from the truth!

To be white, school decals should be from boarding schools and convey sufficient exclusivity – e.g. ‘Andover’ or ‘Exeter’ or ‘Groton’ or ‘Deerfield.’ College decals should be ivy or little ivy, and only if (and while) the progency are attending.

Oopps! My bad, apparently I missed it–You’re not being racist, just a tad bit WASP sensitive. Geez, I didn’t know there are people who still call Italians and Irish “ethnics”. Why, I wonder, when there are so many “other” new ethnics to loathe. Guess it’s a WASP thing, I just will never understand…Will this country ever get over it’s obsession with race and ethnicity? Not if people continue to think of Italians and Irish as “ethnics” and call “Asians” orientals…

“In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill” #99 blog 1

This is called “Stuff White People Like” after all. And what’s whiter than the ‘true blue’ Anglo-Saxon best known these days as the WASP. They really do see themselves as different from other white people, though they’ll almost never admit it, sometimes not even to themselves when they’re younger. But, get them alone with their family, and let them start having a family, and all of a sudden they’re joining clubs that still don’t have ‘ethnic’ members, getting the kids on the lists for the right schools, making donations to (and getting grandmama to make really big donations to) their alma mater, joining an Episcopal or Congregational Church, and …. you get the picture. If you watch them carefully when they’re in college, they’ll date ‘ethnic’ but rarely will they bring an ‘ethnic’ home — unless the ‘ethnic’ is Scandinavian or an upper-class European. (at a certain level, and within certain parameters on the Continent, class transcends ethnicity — to the real high WASP, titles still matter).

The true WASP regards everyone who’s not primarily Anglo-Saxon as an ‘ethnic’. Continental Europeans are viewed with some suspicion, though if they’re Protestant it’s usually OK.

You forgot to include rear-window decals proclaiming affiliations with Ivy League schools. It is also cool to leave your SF or Berkeley neighborhood parking sticker on the rear bumper when moving to places like Portland or Seattle.

What about the mistake being so egregious that it is a blight on creation? Sorry, but there is a HUGE difference between “shunt” and “shunned”. If I had brain swelling, I would most certainly hope I was not shunned.

i think this blog should have been entirely about the white
oval european stickers…that could have gone VERY deep
indeed. oval euro stickers and the coexist stickers
which invariably are stuck upon autos within the MOST
homogeneous communities.
christ.

There are no WASP white people. White people are all atheists because they’re “too smart” for religion. Ask them about it and they will deliver a detailed timeline of when they first became “aware of metaphysics” and decided Jesus was just a figurehead.

Be careful not to ask if they actually did any Biblical scholarship to test their assertions, however. You will likely get a blank stare (every kind of Protestant upbringing except perhaps Anglican/Episcopalian and/or Methodist) or a half-hearted attempt to pretend that church-run schools and/or Sunday school count as Biblical scholarship (Catholic). Either situation will make the white person appear uneasy and less than intellectual master of the subject, and for exposing this you will lose esteem in their eyes.

I am new to your country and saw one of these Prius cars with a women for obama, sticker on it and I proceeded to vomit all over it, I tried to remedy the situation by peeing on it. If this light weight is elected I think I may return to Argentina.

wp are not allowed to like the Grateful Dead because they’re not cool, and they represent a subculture that dulls its intelligence with platitudes and drugs. And wp like to take pride in their intelligence.

No you’re not, you dirty whore. You actively support legislation and regulations which enable the state and dirty whores to fuck over guys like Jeff, who regrettably number in the millions.

If you were genuinely sorry, you’d chain yourself to your fucking House Rep.’s office furniture until he agreed to call off the war on men. But you’re not genuinely sorry. You are a greedy dirty bitch with no morals and no gratitude for the men who made the mistake of letting you out of the kitchen.

Whatever follows the fall of western civilization, I guaranfuckingtee you it won’t involve letting broads anywhere near a polling booth ever, ever again.

I actually have a Hillary sticker on the back of my prius…..because if obama fucks up, i can always say, “see i didnt vote for him”, i supported hillary. Its like the people of keep their cars from 2000 with the gore stickers, to people will know how smart they were that they didnt support bush.

They may not be the kind of white people referred to most of the time in this blog, but that Prius in the picture is sporting a South Carolina license plate. Southerners, like white people, have variety too.

This is so true! I’m white, and all the white people i know have obama, coexist, environment, ovals, and other things of the sort on their car.
obviously this isn’t refering to the huge amount of white people who are republicans and think W is doing a good job.

I hate those “War is not the answer” stickers. I want to get one that says “If war is not the answer then you are not asking the right question.”

Equally obnoxious are those stupid “Coexist” ones. Don’t preach tolerance to me asshole – the last time I checked, we were the ones with freedom of religion. Go drive around with that on your SUV in Saudi Arabia and then maybe I’ll be impressed.

anonymity can be frightening. bumper stickers reassure the driver that they exist and ironically that their opinions are not as massified as the 3dollar impulse items and ideologies they invoke. ever since nixon’s war on the old left and reagan’s war on unions, us citizens are torn and tethered by a schizoid tension between solidarity and singularity–do i surrender my precious individual tastes and itineraries to an interest/political group?

unwilling/able to fully devote oneself to personal or group agency, the bumper sticker folds the latter into the former.

The Obama sticker ostensibly/super-liminally declares the driver’s support for the candidate and his Kermitt D. Frogg optimism and physiology, but on a deeper register the sticker emits pure NOMINALITY and recognition. The driver cannot put his own first and last name on a his/her bumper because the relative obscurity of that name prevents it from being meaningful or evocative for other drivers.

Most of the people on the road already know Obama, vegetarianism, Roe V. Wade, NOFX, Mean People, Darwin, and Germany exist. what they do not know or care to know is that the driver exists. they assume some sentient hominid is driving (unless they have Jersey plates), but this driver is anonymous and mediocre, an anti-champion, a non-obama. FULL devotion to an ethos or interest group or spokesperson or cultural object would result in to great an ego diminution for the driver so the sticker says I would still exist even if Obama and punk rock and farmer’s markets did not, but their existence is dependent upon me…
and my Prius…
and its bumper…
and some adhesive…
and you…
for being unenlightened.

Re: the yellow ribbon – if you already have a bunch of anti-war, pro-pagan, weirdness bumper-stickers, and your college kid rebels against his upbringing by signing up with the military and going to Iraq, you are allowed to combine a yellow ribbon magnet with all your previous bumper stickers. You should also include one of those my-child-is-in-the-Army stickers as well, to make it all clear.

the sticky on the back will never come off. what if you put it on even a millimeter crooked. when I was little I thought they must have little boxes where the bumper stickers would go, cuz who would just randomly stick stuff like that?

I keep my bumper stickers either on textbooks, or in my room just chilling.

You gotta be kidding. The ‘little ivies’ are small New England liberal arts colleges like Williams and Amherst, Bowdoin, maybe Middlebury (now, wasn’t 30 years ago), Colgate.

UCLA is public, it’s a state school. Definitely not ‘white’ in that sense (and I’ll admit to a doctorate from UCLA). It’s not even (generally) considered a public ivy, which is a very short list consisting of U. of Virginia, William & Mary, Cal (meaning UC Berkeley), and U. of Michigan. Period.

And UCLA isn’t so very white – lots of affirmative action admits these days – undergrad and graduate — probably 20% black and Hispanic and 30% Asian these days: I’d be surprised if whites of any description were a majority now. Actual WASPS? 10% tops.

This is true. My friend went to graduate school in art at a top university in California. They didn’t like her work until one day she had a piece they didn’t understand. It intrigued them. She decided not to say what it was about.

The “Protestant” part of WASP has far more to do with culture than religion. And, of course, class. Florence King wrote an excellent book WASP, Where is Thy Sting? over 30 years ago that (among other things) exquisitely delineates the social and class aspects of Protestantism. High status WASPs are mostly Episcopalian or (in New England and on the West Coast) Congregationalists (now UCC). Presbyterians a notch below that, but respectable. Methodists and Baptists are the middle and working class denominations of the WASP mainline. The Lutherans are considered ‘ethnic’ – either German or Scandinavian – as are the various Reformed churches. Other smaller Protestant denominations are considered “fundamentalist” and beyond the WASP pale. Roman Catholics and the various Orthodox denominations are, by definition, not WASPS.

Most high WASPs simply don’t take religion seriously (other than when they write their pledge check), but know a few key hymns (Eternal Father; All Things Bright and Beautiful, Christ the Lord is Risen Today, a few Christmas Carols — since they usually only go on Easter and Christmas, and hear the others when Father Chillingsworth blesses the Fleet at Commissioning at the club, and so forth).

So, if you try to talk religion or biblical scholarship with a WASP, he’ll take you for either a greasy grind or some sort of fundamentalist.

When I “inherited” a 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee from my dad (who replaced it with an ’06) I immediately set to work on covering the back hatch with as many fabulous stickers as I could find. My faves: Coexist, World Peas, my undergrad & grad colleges, a sticker made for the canoe trip I run for my friends & fam, and a sticker purchased in Boulder, Colorado originally for CU Boulder’s team (CU Buffaloes) which I cut the “Boulder, CO” off of to just say “got buffalo?” (I live in Buffalo, NY – and I get a ZILLION compliments on “that Buffalo sticker I’ve never seen on any other car!”)
Oh yeah – and a sticker from everywhere I’ve been since ’06 and the requisite Apple stickers (of course.)

The great thing about lefty bumper stickers (which outnumber conservative examples 100-1) is that they give me an opportunity in the parking ramp to quiz the morons that put them on their cars. For instance, if I see some genetic defective climbing into a Volvo with an “Impeach Bush” sticker, I ask them what impeachment means, how it works, etc. Most of the time, they ignore me. Other wise they come up with some cockamamie story bearing no relationship to reality. It all leads to the question, “What does a bumper sticker mean?”.

My favorite bumper sticker was one I saw on a little rust bucket Toyota that appeared to be held together by a collage of bumper stickers on the back that all had liberal idiot themes to them. The standout was the one that said MY OTHER CAR IS A PAIR OF BOOTS — OIL KILLS. The young woman who came slouching out of the store carrying her two 12 packs of Cornoa beer was a little lesbian punk chick with red hair fashionably trimmed to a crew cut, and a take-out bag from Arby’s was on the passenger’s seat. She got into her car, sparked up a cigarette, fumbled with her iPod for that clutch driving song, and drove away wearing a pair of headphones.

Not only that, but White People like Art Scams. Of course White People like A*R*T*, but they REALLY like Art Scams; they love both the idea of a scam, and even to be scammed – then they can say “Well, yes, I was scammed – isn’t it delicious? – but really, the painting is beautiful in its own right no matter who actually produced it, and that’s all that matters to me.”

See the Marla Olmstead biopic, “My Kid Could Paint That” for the most recent Art scam, in which a couple of very white guys, and one very white gal (who was maybe a little conflicted (conflicted – another thing White People like), but went along with the scam anyway (but being conflicted about it means she’s still a good person & a good mother)) utilized an adorable 4-year old – the daughter of two of them – to scam the Art world, including the ever-gullible N.Y. Times (White People also like “utilize” instead of “use”)

(another thing White People like – the ever-gullible N.Y. Times)

I’ve heard there is a meta-expose’ of Art Scams in the making – Art Scamming as Performance Art. The working title is “To Scam and be Scammed”

kinda have to agree… also, I was EXPECTING a big 100th entry celebration of white-ness! instead, we got a typical (even middling) entry. sigh. i still love you SWPL.

#101: SWPL
Being able to laugh at oneself is a key to white culture – it’s part of Irony and of being Better Than Other White People (those who take themselves seriously). Also they are cornered… the best thing they can do is laugh.

OMG! Funny post…when I was in high school I couldn’t wait to get my first car so that I could load its bumper w/stickers! It was an OLD car and I saw all the other kids in my neighborhood doing it…so it was like a rite of passage to announce my upper-middle class status to the rest of the world…

When I went to college, I did not take that old car w/me…I received a new one in my Junior year…by that time, as an African-American female, I quickly learned NOT to place ANY bumper stickers on the back of my car proclaiming my beliefs on abortion, politics, gender superiority, education, religion, etc…because it just wasn’t the craze with black people…most of my black friends thought it looked tacky.

…The inner yuppie within always yearned to smack a bumper sticker on the back of the car…(sniff sniff)

I think you end up net+2 on the white people points. Although I am admittedly a little bit of a closet republican, active duty military is an honorable job that has a lot of “retirement” benefits after just a couple years in. I know a lot of active duty soldiers who don’t necessarily agree with the current war but still go and do their job. I think you get extra cool points for getting a visit sticker because you lived there (example: all the Canadian MDs in Buffalo proudly displaying Canadian flags on their Lexus SUVs.)
For arguments’ sake, displaying stickers of just any job wouldn’t get you any points – only something that most white people wouldn’t want to do like joining the military.

Not only is it possible, it is very probable to be over- (psuedo) educated. How else to explain the recent proliferation of “Science Studies” and other Post-Modern enthusiasms (not to mention the growing population of unemployable M. Art Historians).

This can be a tricky concept to grasp, but becomes less so once you realize that “ignorance” is not the converse of “education”, but of knowlege.

To help you retain this, I suggest that you print out the following observation by H.L. Mencken and tape it across the top of your monitor:

“An intellectual is someone who has been educated beyond their intelligence.”

art scams can fool the “wrong kind of whites”, the fools who think they are better than their parents, but on all possible analytical scales (children, jobs, etc.) are failures. They even have less children which drives home their failure even more.

The Chinese will soon own Russian Hill, your failure of a “White” is on borrowed time. What a total fool he/she is. Probably childless to boot. Oh my, how they cannot see the reality, totally in the fog. Whites are indeed in trouble with representatives like that.

True. True. True. Now consider this…Apple Computers–white people love them. Bumper stickers–equally so. Put them together and you have THE sticker. I see many of these in Portland, OR (the apparent location of VEG people).

Personally, I’m a little confused. “Stickers that support right wing politics, guns, patriotism, war, or hunting are all unacceptable.” I think those kinds of stickers would be supported by REALLY white people.

The true upper class rarely puts bumper stickers on their cars. They summer primarily on small islands or villages in Maine or the St. Lawrence River, Fisher’s Island, or in long-time family compounds known as “camps” in the Adirondacks, with some families still preferring very private parts of the Cape or Newport.

Move to the South? Not I; I dwell in Hell (at least in the summer months). Born and raised in the Phoenix metro area. People move here, but only the resilient (or incredibly stupid) can survive the heat. I’ve been stupid, I suppose, since I’m still here!

I would never put bumper sticker on my car, but that’s just me. It’s hilarious to live in Ashland, OR, a little liberal city surrounded by Right Wing folk; you’ll see exactly the stickers you’re talking about all around town. You drive to the next town over and it’s “W”, “Support a Logger, Eat an Owl” and “You can pry my gun from my cold dead hands” kinda stickers all over the place.

Do we really need to bring politics into driving? People are already pissed enough.

But still, white taxpayers have been pumping money for 40 years into black schools, and they have gotten worse, as have their illegitimacy rates.

The civil rights emancipation, which allowed blacks to act “non-white” certainly has not helped them by any statistical measure.

Wimpy whites won’t like to hear it, but emancipation of the blacks has only revealed their true nature. Black on white rapes now total 37,000 annually. Look it up, and don’t be fooled by TV images. Haiti, Detroit, Zimbabwe…..the race matters and it always will. Get a clue and wake up.

sometimes i see a mexican guy driving an older car with an aging “free tibet” bumper sticker on the back and i think to myself, “i’ll bet he bought that car from a white guy.” then i laugh and go about my day.

Art scams are at their best when they put tons of galleries in a neighborhood, enough to have “Art Walks” once a month. This attracts hordes of White People to think they’re cultured, when they’re just being marketed to by other White People.

The white people who aren’t White People, and other people in the neighborhood hightail it out as the White People take up parking spaces and overcrowd the restaurants and bars.

sat·ire
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

big·ot·ry
–noun, plural
1. stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.
2. the actions, beliefs, prejudices, etc., of a bigot.

Liberals love bumper stickers because liberal arguemnts are usually made in short, witty “sound bites”. A prolonged discussion about any issue that takes deeper thought results in them not being able to make their point, because they can’t do it. Realizing this drives them to use bumper stickers as their main form of communication.

sorry sweet cakes, no truck with Rome here, but a long line of Protestant ministers, Masons, early settlers and tweakers of the beards of English kings.

And what’s with all the comments about the Jews? Hating the Jews is so common. I suppose it’s alright to hate the Dons and the Frogs – traditional enemies, you know, but beyond that gentlemen don’t hate anyone. One may prefer to see people who are like one socially, but, doesn’t every group prefer company with whom one feels comfortable?

Not so… prep schools insist on participation in multiple competitive sports and the better suburban high schools field many teams that are as white as driven snow. All part of the old mens sana in corpora sano philosophy of the English public schools.

Of course, the sports in both cases are typically ‘white’ sports like field hockey, crew, lacrosse, squash, fencing, skiing, sailing, golf, rugby (all available at our local suburban public high school) that assist in admission to the ivies, little ivies and public ivies.

At least in the Northeast, soccer has the cachet it did 25 years ago — to many Hispanics play and they’re too good.

In college these kids may not continue the sports if they’re at D-I schools, but a majority probably do at D-III schools, if only intramurally.

I live in Egypt. Here, we see that globalization has made most of the world want to be like white people. Therefore, Egyptians have caught on and included bumper stickers, and overall car detailing to the list of things they like.

However, there are some flaws. Mostly spelling errors. This has lead to fascinating stickers and car detailing with phrases such as:

“No woman, no cray.”
“I’m not scared of death, I’m already dying.”

And of course other generic symbols and phrases such as “Sped Racer,” “Demon,” and the skull and cross bones dripping blood.

I should note these are mostly found on taxis, which makes transportation in Cairo a special experience.

If these “over-educated” people were as prolific as the under-educated, I’d guess this country would be in pretty good shape. and maybe my firm would have less trouble finding an educated work force. Let’s not discourage any kind of learnin’, okay? BTW, Mencken is talking about intellectuals, not people with educations. I don’t see an over abundance of either.

i think it is more white to look down on people who use the ACK sticker, and then let it drop in every conversation that you spend time on nantucket.

i would never want to let people know that their stickers are bugging me so much, but i would like to go out one night with a sharpie and add a “T” to the beginning of the nantucket sticker and a “Y” to the end.

also in the new julie hecht book, the narrator mentions someone coming up with an “ICK” sticker, and laments that it is not commercially available.

i wish some less-white people would act out against the nantucket sticker people. it’s not going to be me though–i need to keep my disdain private, where it is most valuable.

In the Northeast at least, popular bumper stickers among white folks include advertising the college or university that you are your children attended.
I cannot believe you overlooked that form of pretension. Maybe because they tend to be translucent and in the rear window?

Maria, thank you for your kind words; much appreciated. Although I’ve never completely healed from that ten-and-a-half-year nightmare I’ve made some progress. I’m engaged to be married to a good woman named Kimberly who believed my version of events and doesn’t hold it against me that I was arrested for domestic violence. We’ve been dating for a year-and-a-half now.

I would like to propose an amendment to the alma matter bumper sticker stipulation. if your a big college football fan and live in the coresponding town for your school then i believe it is acceptable to have a sticker as long as you did graduate from there (but try and keep it discreet or magnetic so it is easily removed when football isnt on).

i live near notre dame and 90% of the cars with a fighting irish sticker on them belong to drivers who have never set foot on a college campus and are living vicariously through the movie ‘Rudy’.

Sadly, I live in a different “white world” than the one you write about…I have yet to see an Obama sticker; the cars here are plastered with W stickers :0 We’ve got plain Confederate flag stickers, Confederate flag stickers with a slogan about representing history, Confederate flag stickers promoting guns, Confederate flag stickers promoting hunting, and on and on.

We can’t decide if we would be better off moving to one of the White Meccas you describe in your blog or continue to stand as an example to the locals that not everyone thinks like they do.

HEAR! HEAR! my island truck has three stickers (two bumper and one back window sticker! how could you forget those! especially for someone who won’t deface their new bumper, they got a back window sticker for whatever triathalon association or sailing organization they belong to!)…

anyhow, island truck. tailgate won’t go down, back bumper is dented and mis-aligned. but i got two of my favorites on there: “positive is how i live” originally made for a politician’s campaign in the virgin islands; and “mad river glen, ski it if you can” which obviously is translation of the european vacation behavior described above. add in my yale alumni back window sticker and well, sir, you have a white man in full.

First, anarchist is a code word for socialist, OK? The word socialism has gotten the bad name it deserves so they’ve re-branded themselves as anarchists. Same faces, different name.

The anarchist agenda – militant unionism, oppressive feminism, state run child care, and hating the white man – is preposterous in its pretense and not at all distinguishable from good ol’ tax and spend socialism.

Supporting anarchy is indeed “High White”, but it is critical for an authentic Caucasoid experience that your actions in life in no way reflect your professed beliefs. It’s actually an inside joke among libertarians and anarchists that they never put rubber to the road.

WARNING: avoid anarcho-primitivist literature at all cost. Besides being a heatscore, it is quite simply the most disappointing ideology and branch of literature I have ever witnessed. Hunter-gatherers were sexually egalitarian and did not have organized violence? Riiiiiiight. Whatever gets the freshmen chicks to your speaking engagements, I guess.

If you don’t yet know what an “entryist” is, you will after reading the pusillanimous pretards of primitivism like John Zerzan, Derrick Jensen, and Fredy Perlman.

Your are correct; this blog presents a satire of upper middle class liberal white people. My guess is that it’s named “stuff white people like” because:

1. “stuff middle class liberal white people like” is not a funny title.

2. Historically, “white people” have thought of themselves as the superior race. Naming the blog “stuff white people like” is a subtle extra bit of satire that mocks the moral and intellectual superiority that many upper middle class liberal white people exhibit–although such feelings, especially moral superiority, are by no means exclusive to this group (i.e., right-wing whites).

I suppose some do, some don’t. I’ve heard Jewish partners at major New York law firms (some with very WASP-sounding names) rail against WASPs, but I’ve known others who fit in so well with WASPs they belonged to very WASP clubs. Go figure.

I’ve only been to the crazy awesome one downtown when I was passing through. After that we went to a bar with what looked like 100 beer taps (mostly microbrews) running up and down the length of the bar and had seared ahi tuna. I thought I’d died and gone to wp heaven.

WP are always trying to out-authenticize – a word? – whatever, be more authentic than the next white guy, so Linux, in that case, is definitely more authentic than Apple. Especially for all those groovy new apps for your iPhone!

I think right wing/survivalist stickers are the best. My favorite was a good neighbor’s that stated “The UN is not your friend” with a huge skull and crossbones. I wish I could see more like that, they’re quite topical.

And yes, I’ve been flipping off hippie granola-heads for ages that put European acronym stickers on their cars, which are only slightly gayer than putting stickers of your favorite “hidden” ski resort. Argh!

I once saw a woman in her late 30’s (I’m guessing) driving a Prius in the artsy part of Atlanta (Little 5 Points) with: an Obama sticker on the left side of the bumper, a Hillary sticker on the right side of the bumper, the spey/neuter license plate, a dog in the passenger’s seat, and sipping from a Starbuck’s cup. I don’t even have to say what color she was.

Glad to see people commenting on the “Tapers”. This is classic Plausible Denial/Half Stepping behavior. Though, i think it has less to do with resell value of the auto and more to do with perceived values of the person.

verna – Bunker was supposed to represent the working class “low WASP”, but the cultural characteristics he displayed were actually much more what would be described as “working class ethnic’ — especially because of his New York location. There were not many working class old stock WASPs in New York – especially in Queens – by the late 1960s. Lear had a good ear, but perhaps less knowledge of the social topology of America than he ought to have.

I think you are confusing “paper education” with “true education”. There is no such thing as “over-educated” when one speaks of true education. It is far easier to “get a piece of paper” or “a title”, than it is to get yourself *educated* (and no educated person will end up at Starbucks). The person who ends up working as starbucks, does so BECAUSE they only received what passes as a faux substitute for an education in our politically correct times. An’ just because they call it an “education” don’t mean t’was. You can’t make generalisations about education by studying something that isn’t education (hint, it’s not a piece of paper, it’s not the buildings, it’s not the lecturers, it’s not the tests etc.).

I don’t think that underlying intelligence is necessarily to blame, but rather, a system that no longer focuses on the right things (as elaborated most profoundly by Richard Mitchell in his essays); it’s also described well by Robert Pirsig in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

I was driving down a road in Oregon with switch backs, and came on a truck that had plowed into the bank and was butt up to the curve with a bumper sticker that said “JESUS IS MY CO PILOT”.
Guess the radio was too loud.

Ok. Fine. White people like Bumper Stickers. But that’s not what’s important about this post. The importance lies in the subtle way that this post has started to break the overly general classification of “White” into smaller sub categories. For example, “Rednecks” (the hillbilly back country road-kill-eatin’ white folks) would actually prefer bumper stickers regarding patriotism ( or separatism if you’re in the south and hope for the rise of the Confederacy) as is shown often by bumper stickers. Occasionally, just to make sure every one knows about their love and support of America, (or the Confederacy) a Redneck will cover the entire rear window of his/her Ford F-250 with a flag decal (a gigantic bumper sticker). These Rednecks also prefer stickers pertaining to outdoorsy activities, but not ones OTHER white people would choose, like bike riding or marathon running or kayaking; no they like HUNTING, FISHING (especially for bass, like the pro shop not the guitar) PIG ROASTING, DIRT BIKE RACING, and NASCAR, just to name a few.

What about the “Be kind to cyclists” sticker. This lets white people prove to other white people that even though they are driving they bike as well, which is very important to white people (see #61). Also, I tried to unlock the wrong Prius when I was leaving the dogpark (#53) last week because it had the same “Texans for Obama” sticker…how embarassing…

That’s a good point, Wake up Aaron, but we all know that you and your inbred forefathers couldn’t afford to circumcise yourselves, lest you regret not being able to survive harsh winters by feeding on the dick-cheese that builds up under your foreskin.

you forgot about the college window stickers…so white people can further promote elitism without even opening their mouths. there is nothing whiter than putting the name an ivy league university on the bottom of your rear window. the white person with the college sticker feels better about themselves knowing that every driver and passenger behind them sees the elitist institution and is subsequently “impressed” by their intelligence.

I agree I was actually going to mention said bumper sticker as one of my all time favorites. I have seen another version GOD IS COMING quick look busy = This particular bumper sticker when first seen envokes two reactions. first your like you gotta be kidding, then you laugh because its just damn funny.

See, this just shows how un-white you are, because you are behind the times. We don’t do bumper stickers anymore. We order personalized car magnets, preferably in the shape of some sports equipments with your child’s name printed across it. This serves two purposes: 1. to show people what a great, involved parent you are because you make sure your kid participates in extracurricular activities, and 2. to show everyone how creative you are in choosing a unique name (or spelling) for your child. Karsyn, Bayleigh, etc.

I hit the Trifecta this afternoon at Lowe’s while buying
some electrical appliances. In the parking lot near my car (the stickermobile) there was an Accord with Coexist, Obama 08 AND celebrate diversity (rainbow background). I drove by twice to be sure! Yikes!

OK, I get that this blog is referring to a specific “type” of white person, but come on, pretty much everyone who supports the unacceptable “right wing politics, guns, patriotism, war, or hunting” is white.

While I usually just laugh at your posts, let’s be honest about the white-wingers, oops, I mean right-wingers. They’re pretty much as white as it gets. Except for their necks, which can get pretty red.

White people LOVE their yellow ribbon magnets, American flags, and Terrorist Hunting Permits. Usually seen on a pick-up. With a gun rack.

Very amusing read, although bumper stickers aren’t half as popular in Europe as in the US…..Most probably something to do with not having to tell people all the time what you’re about or what they should be doing.

When watching US films it always amazes me how many cars have bumper stickers…they look terrible.

The question is do blacks/asians etc not like bumper stickers? How do they communicate their views/opinions to others whilst driving? Hand signals mainly.

Nice… the country oval stickers made me think of a topic you might consider…

White people like: The outer banks.

If you’ve spent any time living on the east coast somewhere between NYC and Georgia (DC in my case), you know that all white people in this region are crazy for the outer banks. It’s essential to make a trek there (or whine about how you didn’t get to) each year. This gives you the opportunity to buy an assload of outer banks gear (including a white oval bumper sticker with OBX on it). Proving your ongoing committment to OBX (preferably to people who have never been there) is the most fulfilling part of vacationing in the outer banks.

Best post in over a month good sir. My side hurts. Mission accomplished on your part.
Now go find an aircraft carrier to land on: as for me, I will be applying more stickers such as “NObama ’08” to my car.
I hear he’s one a dem mooslims. And no, I am not kidding. I am super cereals.

On the back of a motorhome going verrry slowly that I was yelling at. I almost drove my car into a cow sign on the side of the road when I read the sticker because I was laughing so hard I missed half the curve in the road.

Bumper stickers and motor homes seem to be a must for a certain set of white people over 50. Like a rite of passage into being old.

second, the white people who read this column probably go for the “gefilte fish” or the “darwin fish”…

i’ll let it go, though, because you’re from alabama and therefore probably don’t see these things very often among the confederate stickers, jesus fish, and the yellow ribbons. (please actually read the post next time before commenting.)

In Arizona, they’ll also have a McCain sticker right next to it. PV and Scottsdale are very close to being right-wing heaven. How we managed to elect a Democrat (and a female) as our governor is a mystery.

I didn’t know that’s how Portland, Oregon was formed! Fantastic post. The best one since you announced the book deal. You forgot to mention the obscure white-person bands that are on so many of these old beater bumper stickered cars, which would’ve tied in well with your earlier post about white people loving super obscure bands. People who wallpaper their cars like this have given up on any hope of reselling it and just go nuts. Great post!

Don’t pick on names, it’s too easy. I think white folks today(NOT upper crust WASPS, but who cares) spend about 30 seconds thinking up a name for their offspring, and then maybe 15 minutes is spent on how to do a tortured spelling of it. The rule is, name the girl after a jewelry store (Tiffany) and the boy after a geographical area or action hero, (Austin) and then bugger the spelling.

as soon as i saw the title of the post, i KNEW portland, oregon had to be in it somehow. i am not surprised that the car in the picture is some portlander’s car. until i moved there, i had never seen so many bumper sticker happy people in my life!

The morons who end up at Starbucks after school do so because they weren’t handed a job after graduation. Instead of bucking up and taking that slightly distasteful, yet paying entry-level corporate job, they are sitting around waiting to be handed some over-payed, fuilfilling, non-profit job that doesn’t really exist anywhere. Plenty of us with “useless” liberal arts or social science degrees are out there, maybe not doing what we studied, but getting by and paying off those loans. And also contemplating grad school in a few years. Because, hey, we may be go-getters, but we are still white, too.

I bought my first bumper sticker at a Rage Against the Machine concert in ’96. How white is that?

P.S. The guy above me name-dropped “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maitenance.” I think that’s the wrong kind of white.

Sonoma County is weird. It’s half-right kind of white and half-wrong kind of white. I mean, look at Petaluma, that is a cow-town if I ever did see one. Everyone is in carhartts and trucker hats. And without the irony, either. Cause they really do work on dairy farms. Or what about Cloverdale or Rohnert Park? Yikes, all wrong!

But then you have Healdsburg and Sonoma, or the mother of all white towns: Sebastopol…

I have to agree with you LL, where I grew up in the mountains of Oregon you will find all of the “Unacceptable” Bumper Stickers on just about every Jacked up 4×4 you see. Yep the sticker supports guns, hunting or Rush Limbaugh, than you probably have a sticker from the rural Northwest, unless you are in Portland that is. . .

Hilarious! My father HATED me peppering the back of our car with bumper stickers when I was a teenager :D. He wouldn’t let me put any of the gay rights ones up because he was embarrassed to be driving around with that and was afraid someone would try to deface the car- but he let me put up “I’m against the death penalty- look what happened to Jesus!”

Well, “Cowboy up” is the same as “man up,” meaning to stand up and handle one’s responsibilities “like a man.” Never having heard “Cowgirl Up” I’m assuming that it means the same thing except it obviously reffers to women, and that the bumper-sticker is drawing attention to the gender bias of the original phrase.

As a very, very white upper-middle-class person, I’m rather confused about this entry.

I’d say 80% or more of the white people I know are Republicans (some are libertarians). I see lots of “W” stickers, and gazillions of yellow ribbon magnets and “Support the Troops” stickers.

I also see lots of anti-abortion stickers and various Jesus-related stickers. Oodles of “My child is a student/honor student” stickers.

I myself drive an Audi A6, so I don’t have a sticker. I love the CONCEPT of having a car coated in stickers informing the world of my beliefs, however I’m sure some of my beliefs would result in my car being keyed. As a solution, I have added the “Bumper Sticker” application to my Facebook profile.

I did use a magnetic strip to affix a “Ron Paul: Hope for America” sticker for about 6 weeks before the primaries.

Stickerz serve as more than a medium for expression, they serve as a support framework holding a junker together. Duct tape and bumper stickerz are a heap o crap’s best friend (some siphoned gasoline doesn’t hurt either–maybe from your car). 😉

I must be a disgrace to white people…I currently have a Bush 2004 bumper sticker as well as a religious sticker on my car. However I do also have the apple logo that came with my ipod and the logo of my graduate school so I’m not a total reject, right??

btw….I love this blog!!! It is hilarious and pretty accurate (this coming from a white person).

Maybe it would be good to have a post regarding SWPL: Despising (Ridiculing?) The Wrong Kind of White People
or
SWPL: Pretending to be Oblivious to the Wrong Kind of White People
or
SWPL: Feigning Disbelief at the Ways of the Wrong Kind of White People

my blushes! Fussell’s book is fairly insightful for having been written by a non-WASP, but not as good as, nor as funny as, Florence King’s classic WASP, Where is Thy Sting?, now lamentably long out of print. I’ve given away (simply by lending them) more than half-a-dozen copies over the years. Every WASP with whom I’ve shared the book — and I, in turn, was given the book by a Mayflower descendant WASPette — has reacted with an “OMG, there’s [insert name of relative]” or a “This is so my family” or something similar — the way some people read this blog and go wow, Clander, you’ve nailed it!.

Real insight into the original from which the WASP Americanus is derived, can be found in a number of works ranging from (essentially manuals on what not to do, but insightful) Stephan Potter’s amusing Gamesmanship, Lifemanship and One-Upmanship through Nancy Mitford’s Noblesse Oblige: An Inquiry into the Identifiable Characteristics of the English Aristocracy which includes the famous 1947 essay by Alan S.C. Ross U and non-U), and Richard Buckle’s U and Non-U Revisited, both of which deal with class distinctors, especially language distinctors, in Britain. As Higgins put it in My Fair Lady — with apologies to Shaw’s infinitely better Pygmalion — “An Englisman’s manner of speaking absolutely classifies him….”

Although the English class indicator’s did not all work in the US, at least in my youth, such things as using “home” for “house” , or “wealthy” for “rich” or saying anything other than “how do you do” when introduced to someone, immediately conveyed that the person to whom one was speaking was probably not going to share interests, taste and background with one.

Brian, if you go through the Book, you’ll see a predominance of Episcopalians. Similarly, in the better old clubs. The prominence of Congregationalists (and perhaps Unitarians, who split from them) is a regional phenomenon, true primarily in New England (where it was the established church into the early 19th century) and (at least it used to be) in parts of the West Coast – around San Francisco and in parts of Oregon, for example – a large number of early California pioneers were from New England and brought their Congo churches with them. First Congo in San Francisco was one of the largest propertyowners in San Francisco in the 1950s!

In places where there is no Episcopal church, outside of the few Congo areas, the Presbyterians will be the high status WASP church. If you recall your church history, the Congos and Presbyterians had an agreement in the late colonial/early republic period in which the Middle Atlantic churches were Presbyterian and the New England Churches were Congo (this is why you get Presbyterian Princeton, and Congo Harvard, Yale, and Dartmouth).

Audigirl, you are missing the joke. This blog’s not really about ALL white people. It’s about liberal, urban, Democrat-voting white people. The kind who live, say, in Austin — where I assure you this post is spot-on for such a demographic. I call them bumper-sticker assholes. And the ones who deface a brand-new car should be shot.

You forgot the ugly yellow stickers that place hybrid vehicles above the laws of HOV lanes in CA. Although one neatly placed on the right side of your rear bumper is adequate, its better to paste 3-5 all over the back and rear quarter panel of your car. That way everybody knows that your hybrid is better than everyone else’s car.

Stay in the land of fruit and nuts. Your moving there raised the average IQ of both states. And, to anyone else, Orygun is really really bad. Don’t even visit; or you’ll rust. Plus, all you Californicators are beyond saving. Why not march like lemmings to the sea.

You guys are just the sort I was talking about! Republican Chicken Hawks no doubt! I met plenty of ya’ll good ‘ole country boyz when I was in the marines – all show, no go PUSSIES!
So, why don’t ya’ll man up and come out to da Bay (I’m in Oakland OAKTOWN BITHCHES – YA!) so we can meet up? After I’m done puttin ya down, tied ya up, and bent ya over ass up, YOU’RE GONNA WISH I HAD A VAGINA. Otherwise your ass gonna be SORE!
Come on down bitches – I’ll bring my Boyz

The “Preppie Handbook” was written by a jew. Are you saying the book “Class” was written by another jew? Please clarify.

Plus, the term WASP does not apply only to NE Protestants. The term applies to White Protestants. Therefore, in reality a place like Dallas is the most WASPy city in America and has the churches to prove it, certainly moreso than New York City which today is barely even White.

Japan doesn’t have to deal with it. Funny thing is, Canada& the UK were never a slave owning nations, yet they sought “diversity” and now they have racism and all the failed bureaucracies that try to “manage” it.

Im very liberal, just because I support hillary doesn’t mean I’m some right-wing nutjob. Actually, I’m highly educated, and have a very comfortable income, so on paper I should belong to Obama, but since I think actions speak louder then words, I can’t support him. I will when he gets the nomination, but if he doesn’t choose hillary, it will be a huge mistake on his part, because he might not win. What is interesting about the people who say hillary is ruining the party, and if obama doesnt win in november it will be because of her. I want to say that is a bunch of crap, because what they are doing now, is setting themselves up with an insurance policy incase obama doesnt win, and blaming her now for a possible loss in november, will give them the upper hand in saying “he didnt win because of hillary, and I told you this months ago”, instead of blaming their own candidate. Those people do not take responsibility for anything. If obama is supposed to be this great uniter that he says he is, then it should be a easy-peasy for him to get her supporters. Dont blame his race, for people not voting for him, because it seems for a supporter of a candidate who moved past race, his supporters feel anybody who doesnt support him are racist. I guess people are more afraid to be called a racist, then to be called a sexist. I cant wait for the day when a quarter asian, quarter white, quarter black, and quarter latino women with experience runs for president, because until that day, the racist comment wont work, and only the sexist comment will remain.

Its not a law, but its definately used. At least once a year, 2 children from a class, usually a boy and a girl, are given “honors” awards at a special monthly ceremony that the entire elementary school attends to get out of doing work. Each grade will have “honor” students, from each class in the grade. As the year starts, the 2 brown nosing little shits who get straight A’s in everything are given the first “honor” awards, and those are actually the only meaningful ones. Because the average class usually has about 24 students or less, this means that at least once in a year a child will be given an honor award. As the year goes on, the meaning of the honor award is worth less and less, until by may then the worst kids in class get one, its usually that awful dumb trailer trash white boy who gets into fights, and that obnoxious little black girl (whos awful mother dresses that 5th grader in slutty baby phat clothes, with the word JUICY on the behind) who fails everything and talks and talks during ssr (silent sustained reading, but its actually for the teacher to get about 15 minutes of quiet), they usually get the “honors” award in may. Then by june, if all the class as at least one award, they will give the first winners the award again. So in the end, if your child can get 2 or in a rare case 3 honor awards in one year, then they truly are an “honors student”, otherwise its just a shot of self esteem for that average student. It also makes the parents feel that the teacher is doing a good job, so the parents wont complain little mercedes-cadilac isnt getting a good “edjumacation”. Hope that clears things up, dont feel bad if you see a car with one, unless they have about 10 of them from the same school, because your child will get at least once a year, and if they havent then your child must be retarded, or the class size exceded 24, and your child is still a retard for not getting one.

How can u hate kittens?!!!! and blueberrys muffins aint hurt nobody………………..unless they have diabetes, then they possibly could just die…

BUT NOT KITTENS! they are cute, until then grow up, but thats why u call the special “clown” to take the growing catten away and delivers a new kitten that looks just like the other cat did when it was a kitten, and it does so without your children even noticing!

babys suck tho, unless they can take care of themselves, and do your daily chores, otherwise blah…..i plan on adopting an asian baby, they say by 9 months they can allready do the laundry, and fill out your tax papers! yay

I have 5 cats, 3 dogs, 1 bird, and 2 roosters in my backyard…what now bitch!…………………i wish i had a bunny…….”crys”…….WAIT ACTUALLY I DO….but i dont feed them, they are wild rabbits that live on my property, i cant pick them up and squeeze them tho..i want a fat bunny……

DADDY I WANT A BUNNY NOW!
Yes, yes Varucca, I’ll get you bunny when we get home..

What if those cars run on magic?! huh ever think of that!…maybe they arent really cars at all, maybe they are magic ships but when looked at by humans they look like cars!?!?!?!?! hmmmm? didnt think we were so smart huh?

ew really……………………….Oakland? If your going to say you live across the bay, at least pretend you live Sausalito. Oakland is so…..its like east LA, even if you live their you always pretend you live somewhere else………….

But props for the rest of your comment.

Remember, no true white person admits to living in Oakland instead of San Fran.

For the record, I live on the Oakland/Berkeley border (near the Rockridge neighborhood). You know this area? Pretty upscale, swanky!
Ever been too Barneys Burgers or Zachary’s Pizza? A couple of my favorite hangouts for pickin’ up on Berkeley hippie chix 🙂

But as far at Portnoy is concerned, I live in “da hood” of Oakland – he’s probably never been outside a white neighborhood in his life and would pee his pants if he stopped by my place.

Then again, I don’t need to ‘admit’ to living there since, as stated, I’m not white!

“Stickers that support right wing politics, guns, patriotism, war, or hunting are all unacceptable”

This was the giveaway, in case you wonder. I have never met black people that apply these, yet have seen thousands of white people in cars adorned with them, and these white people appear happy with their choice of sticker.

I’m not going through all 760 replies to see if this was already mentioned, but there is an axiom for this: The probability that someone is a left-wing moonbat is directly proportional to the number of bumper stickers on their car.

All the characteristics you describe in this blog are not attributable to white people in general – just hippies. And no black people have ever spent enough time around hippies to know this stuff.

On bumper stickers for instance, EVERY NRA sticker i’ve ever seen was on a car being driven by a white person and the same goes for those stupid “W” stickers or “Bush ’04” stickers – 100% white people.

This libertarian white person drives a Prius with two bumper stickers: one of those white ovals with the country code “FU”, and a sticker from Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership (http://www.jpfo.org/) that reads “All in Favor of Gun Control Raise Your Right Hand” next to an image of Hitler.

The Green Bay Packers are anarcho-syndicalist organization that are run by a co-operative of the City Of Green Bay existing within the larger rubric of a quasi-socialist revenue sharing body that exists for the strength of the whole rather than the profit of any one of it’s contituents.

For your information, to be white you have to be !00% white; anything else less is not white. This is what I observe when maters such as these are discussed. Think, Obama; he is considered black even thought he is half white. Just an observation.

Did it ever occur to the liberals, that multiulturalism and multi-racialism doesn’t work? Why do we keep up this charade and false religion?

When the USA was 90% White, and 10% Black, the country had FAR LESS racism and racial tension. Nature cannot be managed by the”liberal mind”. This proven by all the Brown-Black racial violence and tension in Los Angeles.

Racism doesn’t exist in homogeneous countries. DUH!!!!

It’s going to get WORSE in the US, UK, and Canada — not better. This election as been more about “Race” than any other in history. This is the new paradigm we are forced with, by the liberals who don’t understand anything about history.

The USSR broke up into 15 ethnic nations. What will happen here in 100 years?

Liberal Whites are traitors to their own grandchildren and will be cursed by them.

“Real” white people do have bumper stickers that support guns, hunting, and right-wing politicians… The ones who’d rather be dead than sport a “obama ’08” sticker. Its the usually multi-cultural tree-huggers who support the vegetarians and leftists

Ive been to zacharys pizza! its been awhile, since im on the good side, i dont venture out much, unless im going down the coast to santa barbara or LA.

I do know of rockridge, i used to live in LA so i consider the niceness of a neighborhood, to the niceness of LA neighborhoods, so like most of san fran is beverly hills, hombly hills, bel air, brentwood of LA, and rockridge is kind of like the woodland hills of san fran, its very nice, has many million dollar homes, but you dont brag about living there to people who live in beverly hills, bel air, etc.

thats what rockridge is, its very nice, but you cant brag about it to people in san francisco. We always say our neighborhoods are nicer…..even tho we pay 1 million plus for a lovely 1200 sqft 2 bedroom 1 bathroom shit hole, in a decent part of town. And when we pay that much for a shit hole, all we have left is to brag about where we live, because we are in the center of everything. So even tho rockridge has bigger nicer houses, you cant tell that to san fran people because you will piss them off, and the only way for us to feel better is to remember we live in a white area, in an expensive zip code.

You guys miss the point. He is not really talking about white people but a type of the Caucasian population and his generalization is poking fun of how the media generalizes minorities by their subgroups.

This post is hilarious! It’s obvious you’ve spent quality time here in Austin.

I will confess to being one of “those” people who left a Gore-Lieberman sticker on her car until the Kerry-Edwards campaign. My husband finally scraped it off my car a few months ago so I could put an Obama sticker there instead.

Quit while you can, you are really embarrassing yourself now.
You do NOT have any military training whatsoever, NOR have you ever fired a gun, no not even a “white firearm”.

You can’t come up with a good argument so you retort to calling any non-white, even Indians “Negro” – how ironic, given that Northern Indians such as myself are the real Aryans –> Iran = Persian for “Aryan” and the REAL caucasians (Caucasian = Asians orginally from the Caucus Mountains (Turkey/Iran). But as I said before, you’re a dumbass pany-waist kinda white guy, not a skinhead/redneck type. And then you quote a Time study that was thoroughly debunked – LOL! I guess that explains why Indians are taking all your high-tech jobs. Oh well, your kids well end up working for mine, regardless of what some IQ study says. As Thomas Edison said, Genius is “1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”.

Give it up, you are an endangered species, you can blame others (or “traitors” in your own “race”) but the reason you are falling behind is a stubborn refusal to adapt to changing realities. The 21st century belongs to us Asians, get used to it asshole.

You are really just a silly little boy probably typing away on the PC in the basement of your Mama’s home, who you live with.

Now be a good little boy, and turn off the computer and go help Mama with her chores!

Oh, but IF you are a real tough guy, buy yourself a 1-way ticket and come see me. My biz is at the corner of Claremont and College Ave in Oakland. Just let me know when Ya’d like to meet up, I’m avail any time!

And wear something nice – if you do some research on this neighborhood, you’ll find that the average house is close to $2 million, the average household income is well over $150,000, and (brace yourself for this Portnoy panty-boy) whites make up LESS than 35%! Ah, the ghetto I live in. I really regret it every time I wake up and go onto my patio and look down on all the other million dollar houses on the hill below me!

It’s great you read some books… but if I give you a few simple logic questions or critical thinking tests… hell, even a history survey test covering the last 80 years… your odds of doing better on it than someone without a degree are not that great.

Michelle Obama is an anti-white racist? Prove your point or you too are a racist. Proof or in another word, facts. Or, Portnoy, are you just a fucking whacko? Oh, yea, I have an instinct, an NRA type one about you.

Newsweek has a long article on the wonderfulness of Mrs. Obama, but she sounds like she’s got a log-sized chip on her shoulder from lucking into Princeton due to affirmative action. For predictable reasons, being admitted into one of the Big Four super colleges and being given lots of financial aid didn’t instill in her a feeling of gratitude toward the benevolence of white people. Instead, it just fed her adolescent self-consciousness and racial paranoia. The bad news is that she doesn’t seem to have gotten over it yet. (She’s 44).

She did well in school (she skipped second grade), but she was not at the top of her class. She didn’t get the attention of the school’s college counselors, who helped the brightest students find spots at prestigious universities. “Princeton, the Ivy Leagues swoop up kids” like [her brother] Craig, Michelle says. “A black kid from the South Side of Chicago that plays basketball and is smart. He was getting in everywhere. But I knew him, and I knew his study habits, and I was, like, ‘I can do that too’.” Some of her teachers told her she didn’t have the grades or test scores to make it to the Ivies. But she applied to Princeton and was accepted.

Overwhelmingly white and privileged, Princeton was not an easy place for a young black woman from the inner city. There weren’t formal racial barriers and black students weren’t officially excluded. But many of the white students couldn’t hide that they regarded their African- American classmates as affirmative-action recipients who didn’t really deserve to be there.

Angela Acree, a close friend who attended Princeton with Michelle, says the university didn’t help dispel that idea. Black and Hispanic students were invited to attend special classes a few weeks before the beginning of freshman semester, which the school said were intended to help kids who might need assistance adjusting to Princeton’s campus. Acree couldn’t see why. She had come from an East Coast prep school; Michelle had earned good grades in Chicago. “We weren’t sure whether they thought we needed an extra start or they just said, ‘Let’s bring all the black kids together’.”

Obviously, this program wasn’t put together by the Princeton klavern of the Ku Klux Klan, it was planned by the Princeton diversity sensitivity outreach nook. One reason diversicrats want to bring all the black freshmen to campus before everybody else is so they’ll bond to each other, not to random whites and Asians during the regular orientation week. During the first few days of a new phase of life, you are very emotionally open to bonding with the other people who are going through the experience with you. So, the diversicrats can build a constituency by holding special pre-orientations for blacks.

The three of them talked often about the racial divide on campus—especially how white students they knew from class would pass them on the green and pretend not to see them. “It was, like, here comes a black kid,” says Acree. The black students tended to hang out together at the Third World Center, a social club on campus, while the white party scene revolved around Princeton’s eating clubs.

Michelle felt the tension acutely enough that she made it the subject of her senior sociology thesis, titled “Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community.” The paper is now under lock and key, but according to the Chicago Sun-Times, Michelle wrote that Princeton “made me far more aware of my ‘blackness’ than ever before.” She wrote that she felt like a visitor on the supposedly open-minded campus. “Regardless of the circumstances under which I interact with Whites at Princeton,” she wrote, “it often seems as if, to them, I will always be Black first and a student second.” (Today, Michelle says, not quite convincingly, that she can’t remember what was in her thesis.)

If she’d gone to, say, the University of Illinois or wherever she would have gotten in without affirmative action, she wouldn’t have spent four years knowing that she was below the student body average in intelligence; she wouldn’t have spent four years worrying that everybody else was noticing she wasn’t as smart as the average; and she wouldn’t have spend four years, plus the next 22, hating them for noticing it.

Michelle felt the tension acutely enough that she made it the subject of her senior sociology thesis, titled “Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community.” The paper is now under lock and key, but according to the Chicago Sun-Times, Michelle wrote that Princeton “made me far more aware of my ‘blackness’ than ever before.” She wrote that she felt like a visitor on the supposedly open-minded campus. “Regardless of the circumstances under which I interact with Whites at Princeton,” she wrote, “it often seems as if, to them, I will always be Black first and a student second.” (Today, Michelle says, not quite convincingly, that she can’t remember what was in her thesis.)

Asians have the highest income in the U.S., and Indians
have the highest among Asians – even higher than Jews

I didn’t “come” to this country, dipshit. I was born in
Idaho. And I actually grew up in Nebraska. And yep,
I do eat beef, so nice try there.

I don’t give a shit what “white” people think – and geez
white is a RACE, not a CULTURE. Not that you can tell
the difference.

And I actually prefer East Asian women. I stay clear of
white women, except the liberal “hippie” girl types. The
rest lack morals and culture, I find. And Indian do NOT
lust after whites – I know for a fact that my entire family
look down upon white people as having substandard
morals and socio-economic status compared to Indians.

Yes, India is a poverty-stricken country, but let’s have
this conversation in, say, 50 years? (that’s only 1% of
our 5000 year history). I’m sure you’ve seen the GDP
growth rates of India and China compared to the U.S.
and so you know who’ll be the “big dogs” in 2050.
Don’t worry, we’ll be benevolent rulers…. more than I
can say of the past 500 years of European (what you
call “white”) domination

a) women make the big family decisions more often than men and therefore take the role of purchaser for such important items as cars
b) women are more economically empowered than men such that they dominate car-buying
c) women crash cars more frequently and replace them more often
d) women are less able to drive, maintain, and care for cars that have some life on them
e) women are more influenced by advertising or social pressures to buy new cars when their transportation needs can be met through other means

I don’t think that it really matters why, but your statistic really only says one thing beyond question: showrooms will do better business if they offer fancy coffee drinks.

Ok. That’s a great apology for the author of SWPL. Although I enjoy the blog because I am (a) probably one of the white people that he is referring to in about 10% of his blogs, (b) a person with a sense of humor and not offended, and (c) astonished at the degree to which black xenophobia is accepted and encouraged in this country.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not angered by black xenophobia. But I do perceive it as a vestige on blacks preventing civil and economic equality for the entire race in this country. To perpetuate the Al Sharpton type of dialog will probably yield few results. A black person can see themselves as fundamentally different from whites and judge which aspects of culture are better in black culture and white culture.

Or, a black person can recognize that there are some differences between the black and white races in America and move on to pursue his own success. Although the latter path is often called ‘acting white’ and disapproved of by black people, the author of SWPL has most likely and most ironically probably chosen this path for himself…i.e. attended an elite school, enjoyed European coffee drinks, and wore a scarf in a gentrified neighborhood. Now the sense of black-community haunts him such that this blog releases the guilt he has for adopting the ways that he thinks are ‘white’.

Also consider how strange it would be for an Indian, Chinese, or Mexican community to disparage one of its young for going to an elite school, preparing for an elite career, and dressing the part. A member of those communities would not say that Vishnu, Song, or Jorge is acting white; they’d probably say that he is acting successful.

Prove it, oh great one. Citations, I want citations. Name the names, if it was in the newspaper, produce the name of the paper and date. If it was published, produce it. You have a liberal use of quotation marks but no citations, what the hell.

Just sit back, pop open a cold beer, and watch Rome burn. The changes that are well underway in this country are not going to be reversed, because there is no political will. Even if we had the ideal republican candidate, he would be unelectable because of demographic changes in the voting population.

Our America is over, and all we can do now is figure out how to live with the disaster. Although they have not yet been successful, maybe the Palestinian model would work? Fight and don’t let the bastards get comfortable. Don’t let them forget we don’t all agree with their bullshit.

I sure do enjoy my Asian “ghetto” of $2million+ dollar homes, thank you.
White folks just can’t afford to live here! Do you want me
to send you pix? Just Google “Rockridge neighborhood, Oakland, CA” fool
Geez, do you read the post or what? I did my undergrad at
Rensselaer In Aerospace Engineering, MRTOC – my sister went to Princeton, my entire family are PhDs or MDs (like most Indians and other Asians – WAY superior education to whites)
I just like using street slang and hangin’ with my Marine homies – cuz thats just me

Anyhow, yor name is Ricardo? When did your ilk run across the border? Time for deportation! I’m actually with Portnoy on this one – no McAmnesty for you!

How funny! We lived overseas for a number of years and the “in your face” bumper stickers was one thing that I had a hard time getting use to. I of course have only one sticker on my 2007 car–a little apple sticker that is of course, white!

The world needs more good natured political incorrectness. In fact I think a “Stuff White People Like” TV show is in order! With all the copious amounts of senseless violence, and explicit sex on TV; why not a show about silly white people? Scarves and New Balance running shoes should be heavily featured wardrobe items.
Happy Memorial Day to all!

me too, but it’s a whole different kind of statement. you get to put bands you like on a guitar case, whereas bumper stickers are more for political statements. you have to have a REALLY old car to put band stickers on a car.

BTW: I once had a car that was so packed with stickers that I started to stick em on the side of the car. I think my dad was embarrassed.

this crap makes me sick. it is so stereotypical!!! I must not be white since i only like 10 out of the 100 things that i’m supposed to like being white and all. How pathetic this garbage is. I would like to see a website about what black Asian, Mexican or any other race likes. that would be a cold day in hell.

You live in a country founded by Whites, built by Whites, and you prefer it that way. Admit it.

india will never lift 500 million people out of uncivilized poverty, and you know it. It’s an impossible task.

There is not one White nation that has indian poverty or orals.

We do not like your “morals” of arranged marriages. You better watch your ass, your in-laws might put an end to ou, since you don’t measure up. Yet another sick indian custom brought to this fine country by you scum.

this is bs yes white liberals have bumper stickers on their cars but the ones I notice more often are the support Bush or the Calvin pissing on such and such car company or I love my ….brand of motorcycle or breed of dog

“Sarcasm the Other Prozac”
You know what, I’m sorry for my first response. I understand you are upset with all of us politically-incorrect, irreverent, sarcastic white people. Here is a good plan to remedy your anger and soothe the soul: Start by brewing a hot cup fair-trade, organic green tea. Then reheat a little bit of last night’s Texturized Vegetable Protein casserole. Once thats settled listen to a little calming chant, align your Chakras, harness your Chi and begin your yoga practice. I suggest starting with some joyous Sun Salutations and finish up with Proud Warrior pose. Then tuck yourself into your organic cotton sheets, and sleep tight under the tiny roof that is your geo-structure.
Namaste!

NOTE:Ever been to Port Townsend, WA? Portland has NOTHING on these crazies. It is like the VORTEX

Madison, Wisconsin is another haven for white people and their bumper stickers. The most ridiculous thing we’ve seen to date is a Kerry/Edwards sticker on a brand-new Prius. They must have stocked up back in ’04 in the event that they bought a new pretentious car. Me? I’m rockin’ the Wyoming Public Radio sticker on my Subaru and that’s it! Still makes me pretty damn white, though…

I don’t understand this blog at all. Someone referred to the USA as this “pesthole” of a country. I have lived around the world for over 20 years and listened to lots of complaints about the USA-the most amusing in 1985 when an Afghan
female socialist living in England was complaining about the US incursions into Nicaragua and then castigating the USA for its failure to drive the Russians out of Afghanistan. But largely what people wanted was to get to live there and become Americans. The country offers freedom and opportunity and security that is wonderful to so many people
that it seems reprehensible that someone who possesses this gift already would call it a pesthole. Actually, it’s stupid.

boy, all these things gets my white spleen a gigglin! HAHAHAHAHA I love it! Can’t wait for the book, the movie deal, and the t-shirt that says “white people like this” From what I’ve read so far I’m only about 50% white….but I still have time to improve

Good post, but why no talk about the College decals that are affixed to the back windshield? They can be static cling for the newer cars, and white people can show off the Ivy League or “Harvard of the _____” school they went to.

Europeans largely avoid bumper stickers, and once word of this gets around to all the college towns, Vermont & Oregon, cars covered with left-wing bumper stickers will go out of style. The White People so brilliantly goofed-on on this blog love Europeans, and are just basically trying as much to be like them as possible. Most other Americans think they’re being silly.

just did a survey of my neighborhood, south shore area in chicago. and NOT one car in a 5 black radius had a bumper sticker. i think its a whyte thang! i like the site, its great to read. the racist posts are sad however not suprising on the internet you can re-invent yourself and i gurantee none of the racists would never say what they type to a minority in person. PUNKS.

This site, along with the deranged liberals I’ve met in college, has inspired me to start a site of my own.

Before I went to college, I believed that PC was simply one factor among many in the thought process of the modern educated; I now believe that it is the sun around which our intellectual world revolves. Take, at the most basic level, what kids learn at school. In a survey of American schoolchildren, the four most famous Americans in history were Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman and Susan B. Anthony. Is it any wonder our schools are a joke? The reason that you can’t teach history is because history is a record of what people actually did, not what some egalitarian wishes happened. If kids learned about human accomplishment, all they would learn about is white males doing one thing after another. We can’t have that, so in the world ruled by Cultural Marxism making sure black people can sit where they want on the bus is more important than inventing the automobile. Getting women the right to vote is more important then the technological advancements that doubled their life expectancy, or for that matter the founders of democracy in the first place! This kind of insanity isn’t a small part of our education system, it’s the whole thing.

At college, I’ve noticed that I can predict peoples’ opinions on social and political issues by a sort of politically correct equation. Always take the side of the more politically correct group. Women more politically correct over men. In racial matters it goes black > brown > yellow > white. Homosexuals are more politically correct then heterosexuals. When liberals are forced to chose between the interests of two politically correct groups and are asked about their opinion of say, Muslim treatment of women or gays, they try to deny that a problem exists. They much prefer to complain about Christians, which they can do with a clear conscious.

It never ceases to amaze me how many Americans,
especially those of European descent (what you call
“white”) think that the U.S. is the only democracy on
earth.

For the record, India is the largest democracy in the
world – 400 million people voted in the last election.

My parents didn’t come here to escape war, gain freedom,
or even make money – they came because the Johnson
administration started issuing visas for skilled immigrants
in the 60’s and my dad finished his PhD in Idaho.

Your assertion that I’m trying to “act white” when just
earlier you were disparaging that I was “acting black”
is ridiculous, as is your comments about arranged
marriage, which is very rare now. It is obvious that you
think every race should stick to their own customs. This
completely contradicts all your negativity towards those
other races – if they were trying to mimick “white succesful”
behavior, wouldn’t they shed all the “bad” things about
their culture (HIV-infested blacks, violence, arranged
marriage, strange customsm etc)? Oh – but I guess if
they were successful, you wouldn’t have a reason for
hating them based on how they look – so you have to
point out all the bad things about their home country.
Its obvious that you don’t believe in a melting pot and
that you believe that the way a person looks or their
ancestry directly affects their behavior or culture, when
in fact it is learned and it is a choice. The fact is, ppl
will choose success if given the opportunity. This isn’t a
“white” trait, it is a human one and to think otherwise
is ridiculous – what person would want poverty & violence
for them or their kids as opposed to peace and
prosperity? Serious.

Now, you state that “whites” (European-Americans)
built up this coutry, and I conceded that point, that
the past 500 years were dominated by the West. Can
you really say this will continue for another 500? Is it so
bad to be 2nd or 3rd place? At least China and India are
great civilizations, and a world ruled by them would be
better than one rulled by, say, Islam. Don’t put all non-
whites in the same category!

I have no doubts India can and will lift 500 million ppl
out of poverty. 200 million were lifted in just the past
decade. By 2050, even land scarcity won’t be an issue,
as they will no doubt have started colonizing space,
and energy scarcity should be solved by solar or fusion.

You need to admit that LATELY (not historically) the
major technological and economic advances have been
taking place in non-white countries

Canada is a more urban country than America or just aboot any country you can name, check the stats. They purposely restrict land sales, and don’t police the countryside, to force white people to live in one of Canada’s 10 cities. Add to the fact the average Canadian spends 90% of his life indoors – that’s an actual fact by the way – and you’ve got yourself prime breeding ground for homsexuals and metrosexuals.

Anectdotally, I notice from time to time that there seems to be more men here who act and dress gay than the 10% normally cited, more like 15-20%. While these men may not have gay sex, they are, effectively, gay.

I see black punks in baggy jeans sulking around all the time. When they pass on the sidewalk they look down, not up.

The South Shore area used to be a gorgeous White area, turned into a Haiti-like slum. You better try avoiding getting shot around there this summer. The chimp-fest has already started and one can search Chicago’s suntimes.com website to see how many murders have already taken place.

The Whites that hate right wing politics, guns, patriotism, war, or hunting are largely the descendants of Whites who built up the country upon those very ideals, making America the place every impoverished non-White wants to move to (still, but less each day).

It’s really bizarre how some whites have devolved. Most of the hate-White movements and institutions these liberals follow were started by Jews with family roots in Eastern European communism.

I don’t think most white liberals have studied the background of the kool-aid ideas they purport.

White people, well the liberal kind, dont usually care if their white children marry an indian, or an asian, because that child has a fairly good chance at coming out beautiful, and smart. But I know this will sound bad, and im sure obama supporters will be all over me about it, but whites are not terribly happy if their kids are with a black person, unless they are extremely light skinned, its not that they are racist, its just the odds of a cute grandbaby with black/white is around 50%. And that only seems to be the case when the mom is white, and the dad is black, think halle berry. Its not that they dont like black people, its just all about looks.

Indian/white mixes are usually very high when it comes to beautiful people, aruond 80% of them are very good looking. Light skinned indian people are some of the most if not the most beautiful people in the world, with all the large features, like the huge eyes, and huge lips, very good.

White/asian mixes are also usually very high when it comes to beautiful people making. Probably around 75% are great looking, because they usually get the height, the lighter brownish hair, but a tad of an asian eye but not to much to be completely asian, and usually white noses and asian lips, those combos are very nice, plus the possibilities for a higher IQ are great, just because the asian work ethic is in their blood.

Give me ONE good reason why I should love and/or tolerate the pussy that is turning the US to SHIT as we speak and has LIED about everything he has ever done. Just one reason. The man–and I use the term loosely–is a raging douchebag and monumental coward. Were I his parents, I would disown him and move to Greenland, all the while apologizing to everyone I meet that I brought that spineless dipshit into the world. W is a blight on humanity, a borderline functional retard, and a scathing evil, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Hitler…

My great grandfather owned many of the drygoods stores in san francisco, and his headquarters was a street over from where the transamerica pyramid is now. He actually owned much of the nearby beach and port, and was one of only 500 millionsaires in the 1930s. Luckily he wasnt hurt by the stockmarket, but he spent tens of millions trying to get his family out of germany, during the beginning of the holocaust. He lost around 13 million in the late 30s early 40s, he sold the port and the beaches to get his relatives out, (the beaches now have condos all over them) but they all died. Im so pissed because if he wouldnt have sent so much to “travel agents” to get his family out, I would be swimming in money today! I live a very comfortable life, I mean he did keep his standard oil stock, which then turned into chevron stock, which my family stills owns today, and i hate to say this, but without the oil stock increase, i probably wouldnt be living like I do today. But i own a prius so i feel it makes up for it….. He owned around 50,000 shares. I actually have a view of the transamerica building from my flat. I think my great grandfather headquarters now is either a jewelry store, or a bank….i need to check up on that.

It’s not a “name-drop”, it’s a reading recommendation … try actually reading these references so that you might be able to actually understand what I’m talking about and intelligently refute it if you disagree, because I can neither summarise several book’s worth of principles in a few cute easily digestible sound bites in a blog comment nor express them better – hence the recommendation. But hey, I know, reading and intellectualism are so “out”, they’re for elitists right? And any suggestion of a worthwhile book to read is not, just that, a suggestion of a worthwhile book to read, but rather some kind of snobbish “name-drop” — whatever. What a bizarre worldview. How else can a person recommend a book that makes a good point and has the potential to improve your life other than “dropping” the “name” of the book or author? What’s your suggestion? Or do I need to find something like a popular Hollywood movie that tries to make the same point, or something? You seem to be positively consumed by collectivism to the point that you cannot improve yourself – I mean, imagine actually being well-read enough to start “name dropping” (sic) books yourself, what a snob you would be, you simply cannot have that happen, you would become in turn offensive to the rabble rather than stagnating at their level – or whatever it is your worldview purports world to work.

And what do you mean by the “wrong kind of white”? That makes no sense.

I don’t get it … are you saying that it’s contradictory to be against welfare but for insurance? (It’s not – there is a critical difference between public and private sector risk management services.) Or are you suggesting that somebody with such a bumper sticker ‘better have car insurance’, because the type of people who enjoy welfare are likely to damage cars that have such stickers? Or what?

Prius? I have got that one topped. Last summer on I-94 in North Dakota, I passed a Yugo from Vermont with an obama in 08 bumper sticker. A Yugo!!!!!!!!!!! I blew him in the weeds at 75(posted limit in ND). we were headed west toward Belfield. There was severe weather ahead. Big black thunderstorms with heavy rain, some hail and 50mph+ winds. The look on the hippy’s face was of abject terror seeing a prairie thunderstorm up ahead. It could have been from the fact that he was in a place where cry baby, elitest liberals don’t do well. You know, farmers, cowboys and roughnecks. But that is anyone’s guess.
But he was scared of Mother Nature in her fury.

Um, unless I’ve missed parts of the thread, the claim was not that Japan doesn’t have racism but that they don’t have to deal with the problems of “diversity”. This is true, because they simply don’t allow anyone and everyone into their country.

Perhaps the reason you think that people’s actions don’t reflect their professed beliefs is not that the entire rest of the world is inconsistent, but that YOU are the one who is completely confused about what those ideological systems are — your confused natterings about anarchism and socialism demonstrate this irrefutably.

“The question is do blacks/asians etc not like bumper stickers? How do they communicate their views/opinions to others whilst driving?” … the former at least by pointing a gun out the window, I guess? (just kidding … hey there’s enough anti-white racism here, have to balance it out a bit)

Hmm, this might just be the sharpest post I’ve read in this thread so far — excellent points and succintly put. Whites are in the process of committing some strange kind of braindead mass-suicide as a race. Obama wants to bring in millions more illegals; amnesty is insane. Problem is the immigrants tend to vote more left, so the leftist politicians support this suicide because it increases their constituencies and power base at the expense of the future of the country.

This is the ultimate fallacy of the white liberal elitist, they pretend to be open-minded when they are really not whilst the conservatives are closed-minded and happily so without deception. Mind you, I am neither, I prescribe to my own extremist view which can’t be defined by either! 🙂

You are truly hitting your stride…this is painfully spot-on. I live in an affluent college town, and every third car in the Whole Foods parking lot has an Obama08 bumper sticker. It has quickly gone from mildly endearing to annoying to slightly cultish…I guess championing breast-feeding, co-ops, and indie labels was simply not enough.

Ever heard of the IDF??? Those are some of the toughest guys out there.

And if you are going to hate jews so much, take a look at yourself in the mirror. Next time you jerk off to Scarlet Johansson, remember that she was raised jewish and has a jewish mother. Oh you know what, don’t even watch movies, cuz hollywood is full of us.

At least we have a rich history and culture and contribute to society.

I am sure you enjoy eating your Kraft single and Ham sandwiches on wonderbread and a big gooey vanilla milkshake while fantasizing about attractive women who wil never blow your puney vinegary goy cock.

I am a sephardic jew, I love my culture and my religion and the fact that I am not a big jerk ass like you.

Yeah, you tell him man! He’s a big jerk ass–and he probably beats his meat to pics of Ernest Borgnine in drag. Big, dumb jerk ass! There is nothing in this world worse than a big, giant jerk ass, except one with a vinegary goy cock who pulls his pud to video clips of Don Knotts giving Andy Griffith a rim job. Me, I don’t pull it for Scarlet Johansson–I smack it around to pics of Carol Burnett and Harvey Corman. Man, they were sweet back in the day. Oh well, we can’t live in the past, can we?

Jesus Portnoy. You went from being a minor annoyance who had a beef with political correctness to a bitter, spiteful little hatemonger. You are one of the most miserable human beings I have ever encountered. What did your parents do to you?

I feel like im looking down from 10K feet. and seeing a huge mess.. Liberals hate conservatives, they would call me a fascist. But fascists historically are typically found to be Athiest, with a strong support Central government control of Business. Utlizing laws to expand a single culture through legislation, despite popular opinion.

When i read liberal public comments, i see folks who support candiates that want to control the oil industry, legislate change (smoking, Cars, Taxes, abortion, healtcare)

the similarities are incredible. yet Conservatives are called Nazi’s
I think conservatives are more like the old German Army, and the liberals want a sweeping brown shirt change to their agenda.. read the history and look in the mirror.

PS i like the website alot, but i dont fit the template of standard whitey..

sorry, but most marathoners (since she claimed that he/she has a sticker declaring so on his/her car) should know their endurance counterparts… its just part of not being entirely self-absorbed. or being any kind of athlete with half a brain.

And it is a proven FACT that good-looking people get
ahead in life, independent of their abilities. They are
more likely to go to a good school, get a good job,
and get a promotion. Call it “lookism” if you will, but
this is a reality – there have been several studies done
on this.

I am sorry your grandfather was unable to get your family
out of a very bad situation. But he must be a very decent man
for even trying – it sound just like something my father would have done. In fact, my father has sponsored numerous members of my family by either sending them money or having them come over here. So much so, that my mother is sometimes annoyed!
Its great that you own oil stock – and even more so that you
drive a Prius! But I have something bad to say about your Chevron, which you might now. They were the #1 reason why
we don’t have electric cars today – they bought the patent on
the EV-95 battery and shelved it. If you haven’t already, rent the DVD “Who Killed the Electric Car”. It made me so mad, I never fill up at Chevron again. Do you know if the EV-95 battery was in your Prius, you’d be able to go 60 miles (instead of 1.5) on electricity, no gas? They refuse to release the patent, even with $4 gas, and it doesn’t expire till 2015….

I own “Who killed the electric car”!, you cant live in san fran without seeing it. And I dont go to Chevron to fill up lmao, its way to expensive, I may own stock, but i completely hate the company. I look for the cheapest gas I can. I actually have an Aptera on order, though Im waiting to see how well it does with the slope of the streets here. I would sell all my stock if I didnt have to get advisor approval, and they would never sell it right now when oil is doing so well. Its terrible to have interest in a company you despise. It feels like renting out a building that you know has sweat shop workers working inside, but you make way to much money off the rent. Just the yearly interest I make from it is astounding. I hate chevron, but i cant bite the hand that feeds me, thats why I try hard not to use oil or much energy at all, it makes me feel better, even though i know the gas prices are hurting middle class families, and I feel so guilty. I have a job, but there is noway I could live where I live without the family interests, and alot of them are in unfavorable companies. Chevron, Cisco, and a few drug companies that are producing drugs and selling them at prices that cripple families with health problems. So I try my hardest to be the best damn white person I can.

Now if i just had stock in walmart I think i would have enough evidence for suicide! lmao, ugh walmart dont get me started……..

WOW hitler feeding a deer really makes up for the fact he killed 10 million plus people! WTG he deserves an award for feeding a deer! such a careing person, i guess hitler feeding a deer is good, and all those white american men who kill them every year in deer hunts are bad. Your logic is incredibly bullet proof, and why you dont control the world is just amazing…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I copied and pasted the second paragraph and sent it to myself to keep as a reminder. Scintillating analysis of what is wrong with American education today – right on.

We search frantically for “minority role models for the kids”, and find a noteworthy few, while NOT concentrating on teaching them the math, science, reading & writing skills, and basic thinking skills required for inventing an automobile, or vaccine, or concept of democracy and freedom.
Perpetuating grievances for injustices of decades and centuries past is the priority and agenda of our educational system (see RAZA in the Arizona school system for an eye opener about white oppressors today!)

left out, but oh-so-important is the uniqueness of the delivery of the “message” (just read the posts and you’ll find a few.)

Mine?

I cut off most of the phrase of a sticker that read “I boating and fishing and camping” from a ridiculously long Chevy sticker-in-a-magazine-fold-out-ad, so that it just read “I BOA”

Then after a week I thought about all those creepy looks from the gay-curious guys at work (yes, you do stand out, yes, we can tell you are thinking about it) so I cut off the “A” too so it just read “I BO”

I left it at that for months until my boss asked me in private if I enjoyed body odor. There’s a limit to things, and at least he had the nerve to ask me, unlike all the other trogs who work there and wondered the same thing (“Bo”is a generic term of endearment for a handsome man, people.)

This makes me think of a bumper sticker that says something like “ALL BUMPERSTICKERS SUCK”

some more ideas for you:

o we like over-hyphenating (a corollary to #99 grammar)
o we like graphics and information overload our sigs (yuck)
o we like all things Apple, the Gap, and anything that seems gritty, down-to-earth, and authentic but safe for us crackers
o we like reading about ourselves so you will have a great future
o we like writing about ourselves so you’ll have lots of free raw material

Saw my first “Obama Sucks” bumper sticker yesterday on the tailgate of a brand-new shiny black Tahoe. The owner was a slightly tubby white fellow with a ballcap and he was about to put his purchase from the Salvation Army (I am not making this up), a formica table, into the back of the truck. Two very white women outside the store had started to laugh and I heard them say “great bumper sticker” to the guy. However, all this was taking place in what is considered a “black” part of town, so I don’t think he planned to park the car and do some more shopping, leaving the vehicle unattended. It’s sad/funny how the nastiest stickers — Buck Fush and so forth — remain undamaged by the “wrong sort of white people” and anything causing offense to the more liberal end of the white spectrum is grounds for property damage, if not worse.

In the category of political bumper stickers, it is also permissible for white people over 60 to display a pseudo-replica (don’t remember any political bumper stickers until 1968 “Clean for Gene” ones) “Kennedy|Johnson” one

We have a word for your kind — Mooks. They live in the burbs in McMansions, drive SUVs, have lots of kids, drink bad chardonnay, major in business, go to church every Sunday, and love to shop in strip malls. As for bumper stickers, they prefer the demure, “W the president” on the back of their Eddie Bauer edition SUV.

FIRSTLY, owning a car is like owning a second body, a second phenotype. information about your BIOgraphy can be sussed from this outer carapice. young women who are not well-paid may find older men with obviously expensive cars more attractive because the hyperphenotype informs her of his genotype: capable, competitive, an EARNER. Do all earners make good dads? no. But do all good dads make good kids? no. Better to have a sure earner and bad dad than a good dad and moths in the back pocket.

If the car itself expresses the body (genes) of the driver then the bumper expresses the mind (memes) of the driver.

Just as one expects a correlation between make and model of car and ideology, one can expect a similar pairing of body types and sociolinguistic/memetic habitus.

except leftists. leftists seem convinced that their goddamn cars are little more than moving billboard. iI guess they get off on showing others than you know, they care and stuff. they care a lot. Like Faith No More cares a lot.

Liberal friends love it until they find out what libertarianism actually stands for. And that Goldwater is my hero.
Some stop talking to me, others don’t know or give a %&$* about politics. The latter end up being my friends.

ok white people explain it to me…is having a sticker that says “my kid is an honor roll student at such and such middle school” the wrong kind of white folk? cuz im Mexican and my parents only had soccer bumper stickers or the name of their hometown in large old English letters across the back of the old astro mini van.

please explain… im trying to learn about you people so one day I can be accepted into your society. Is that even possible?

If a white person is in private school or has children in private school it is imperative that the sticker is on their car. In Atlanta, kids who go to elite Westminster School will keep their parking stickers on their car from multiple years in fan type fashion. Proving not only do they go to private school, but they have for many years.

I’m white, I go to private school, you don’t. Bite Me.

The best are the college stickers which will have the undergrad and grad schools on them.

These posts seem for white people near the Northeast or West coast. There are nothing but hunting, duck head, etc bumper stickers all along the south and middle America. But it is still true that white people love those bumper stickers.

You’ve got this one wrong. A fondness for bumper stickers is not shared among many or even most whites (although I’d really like you to use Causcasian — or peach-colored as my 7-year-old says — if I can’t use Black). This pension for wearing one’s opinion on their (car’s) rear-end is almost the exclsuive domain of Leftie whites; the sanctimonious and shaggy Subaru/Volvo set. Look no further than the line through the W and Obama stickers for proof.

this is a funny commentary – all of them – but as a person of white heritage ( not that I am offended if I dont get called Caucasion American as opposed to plain ol american ) I do have right wing tendencies and just wanted to clear the perception that white people would shun a person with a political bumper sticker of that persuasion……lol……keep up the great commentary!

The number of bumper stickers increases as the value on the car decreases, as a way of adding some sort of appeal.

While I do not have a great bumper sticker story, I did chase a car down once to snap a picture of their license plate that said “Cptlist” (Capitalist) along with the license plate cover from a local private school.

All of us are wondering how much NBC pays you to make these pathetic comments on this site. We all know Crush used to be a man. Look carefully and you can see the outlines of the badly removed USMC tattoo on the arm.

You may be well-educated (indoctrinated in reality) but you’re not very smart–no liberal is. Liberals are destroying the country with their idiotic, short-sighted policies on:
-Iraq
-Energy
-The Constitution
-the Global Warming Hoax
-terrorism
-abortion and
-the death penalty just to name a few.
There is one reason and one reason only to vote for a candidate for president. That is because he is the best qualified, including his character. Obama is an inept, inexperienced, incompetent racist bigot. But you will vote for him for all the wrong reasons. Aren’t you smart.

In Tacoma, WA where I live, it is unfortunately perfectly acceptable to apply right wing stickers to one’s vehicle, especially if it’s a very large truck. This weekend I saw the following stickers, “I’m a one man militia” and “I like airplane noise” and “McCain” and “I support the President.” I felt like putting a sticker on the back of my bike “One less car!”

Her Monthly Friend: PMS*
PMS (Premenstrual syndrome). Also know as Psychotic Mood Shift, Pissy Mood Syndrome and Pass My Sweat-Pants, is defined by WebMD.com as, “a medical condition that has symptoms that affect many women of childbearing age. PMS can cause a variety of physical and psychological symptoms that occur just before your menstrual period.” This condition is apparent when your loving girlfriend turns into the Incredible Hulk after you drank out of the orange juice carton. Or when she begins sobbing after spilling a glass of milk. The most telling sign of oncoming PMS are when the skin colored nipple high Grandma Panties and old college sweat pants are brought out and considered acceptable couture. This period of the month requires extreme delicacy when interacting with the female species. One misstep, for example, leaving the toilet seat up, can lead to catastrophic results. Many men have met their demise for that very offense during PMS. A man’s common everyday interactions and conversions with women must be altered for this volatile period. Common banter like, “Hey Sweetie, what’s for dinner?” must be substituted with phrases like, “Wow, you look stunning in those gray sweat pants and fuzzy bunny slippers!” Pleasurable actives like back massages, going to the ball game and hosting a guys night are completely out of the question. And if thoughts of any sort of sexual interaction comes to mind, you are well advised to take a cold shower or “relieve” yourself.

Don’t forget the College back-window sticker. This is clutch – and even better if you can prove you went to grads chool by stacking two (or more!!!) College stickers on top of each other. Of course, this only does you good if you went to a reputable school. “Commuity College” stickers are the WRONG kind – avoid at all costs, substitute with witty political slogan.

I’m sure you believe the lampshade and soap stories too. Stop learning your WW2 history from jews. Most of the stuff they’ve said since the 1960’s has been disproven, including the 4 million dead at Auschwitz, now the accepted total is 1.5 million, but gee what happened to the other 2.5 million?? No, the jews didn’t subtract them from their trademarked term “6 million”.

Anyway, look up the definition of dysgenic, that is what America practises by paying black teens to breed.

I have to agree w/ amanda. My dad, who has always sworn never to degrade the value of his precious Prius with the possible damage that a bumber sticker could cause, has just put a West Virginia University sticker on the back. Now, when he is driving down the road, not only does he feel a connection with anyone else driving a prius, but also feels close to those with similar stickers. It is also important to note that while bumber stickers provide the white person at hand automatic friendships with his fellow roadsmen, but also can create instant-feuds. An example of this is found driving on a Georgia interstate when two cars notice that while one is supporting UGA, the other is supporting GT. If you ever see this phenomena on the road, allow the feuding vehicles ample room.

“Don’t forget the College back-window sticker. This is clutch – and even better if you can prove you went to grads chool by stacking two (or more!!!) College stickers on top of each other. Of course, this only does you good if you went to a reputable school. “Commuity College” stickers are the WRONG kind – avoid at all costs, substitute with witty political slogan.”

Gotta love it when a car has a giant PRINCETON sticker on the back and the car’s not worth $1500. Remind me to pass on that school 🙂

One of my older Mustangs had a sticker that said “life’s too short to be stuck behind YOU”

This bill would require anybody driving with provocative bumper stickers to pull over when motioned to do so by other drivers and debate the merits of their confrontational stickers. Pulled over first would be drivers with “Save Tibet”, Gay Pride Rainbows, “My Student’s An Honor Roll Student At Blah Blah Blah”, and “War Is Not The Answer” bumper stickers.

I’d pull over the woman with the “Save Tibet” sticker first and ask, “How? How in God’s name do I do so? Can you give me a hint? How about a web site address to donate to the cause?” I can’t even save $10 a week in my savings account much less save a foreign land from the communist Chinese. I have an idea. Tell anybody contemplating buying a $3 Save Tibet bumper sticker to send that money to the Tibetans instead (as you should have done in the first place).

Next, I’d pull over the guy with the Gay Pride rainbow sticker and ask, “Why are you broadcasting your private sexual activities to everyone in public? When thinking of a penis penetrating a rectum filled with feces, the last thing I think of is a fluffy rainbow. I mean, we don’t go around like dog’s sniffing each others crotch and ass to determine sexual status and readiness, but that’s exactly what you’re doing with that sticker. I’m for equal rights, but just be considerate like the rest of the population and keep your private affairs private.”

The caravan with the “My kid’s an honor roll student…” sticker would follow. I’d ask the kid, “What’s A2 + B2 = C2 represent? Locate Tibet on this map. Why does a rainbow occur? Considering America ranks so poorly compared to other countries in math and science, won’t your diploma be as worthless as that irrelevant bumper sticker?

Lastly, I’d confront the man with the “War Is Not The Answer” sticker. I’d ask him, “Oh really? Well, neither is your 1985 Dotson, you delusional fool. Seriously, you think you’re somehow better than others because you harbor unrealistic ideals of peace. You’re ignorant of history, nature, and your own body. Tell me one century of recorded human history without a war. Watch birds one weekend and see how often they fight. Every day, bacteria, germs, and viruses try to kill you. When you get a cold or the flu, these bugs literally kill the cells inside you. If your white blood cells didn’t declare war against these invaders, you’d be dead. There are scores of people with blood disorders like leukemia, blood cancer, and neutropenia that wish their white blood cells didn’t act as you think.”

Awesome. Misguided perhaps in spots, but well written and amusing nonetheless.

The rainbow thing isn’t about gay sex, it’s about gay pride. Pride is not sex. And not once have I -ever- heard of someone hooking up over a gay pride sticker. You must not have many gay friends! (#88) 😉

Oh wait, you’re just having a rant in good fun. Still, amusing and articulate…

Oops. Don’t own a car. I can’t afford fuel. (Bear that in mind before you call me a wine-sipping, clueless liberal.) I do like laughing at other people’s stupid bumper stickers, though. Like ones that say: “My kid is an Honor Student at such-and-such school.” My cat could beat their kid in a game of chess.

would you confront the man with the idiotic “support our troops” sticker? i’m sure you simply forgot that one in your wild fervor. i also like your compelling reference to birdwatching as a justification for war. grow some balls pal.

Hi im in a contest and im asking all my friends to vote for me! Ok so all you have to do is go to HOTHOTHOTTIE23 guestbook say you vote for me givenchylover if you then go to MY guestbook tell me you voted for me I give u five stars
teehhee . i do love a good rant but you kind of lost the rant and went into full on crazy scremo mode for some parts there. the rainbow has NOTHIGN to do with gay sex it has to do about pride. also you forgot to bitch about political bumper stickers such as presidential ones. Another thing you should have ranted about the abortion stickers pro and against. veggies! i really don’t understand why your so angry. Were you abused by a bumper sticker maker? Oh you were kidnapped and they put a bumper sticker over your mouth to gag you! im just kidding unless i was right????????!?!?!?!?
bumper stickers are fun. i love them! The best are the honk if you…..( fill in the blank!!!) why people get mad when we honk i don’t know … oh rant about that please???????? and we so should save Tibet.

RedCent, please note that your comment clearly identified you as a “white person” 🙂 according to the rigorous criteria of this blog.

You publicly stated that you “can’t afford something” which makes you seem very plebeian, another words, cool, in the white world.

You clearly live in a place where you have access to and use public transporation (admirable but so very white.)

You specifically criticized a bumper sticker with a slogan that doesn’t support a progressive cause, quirkiness, or internationalism, again something that should win you a kudos (try to think of a word whiter than kudos) from your white “brothers” and “sisters”.

Then again, I go to farmer’s markets so who am I to talk 🙂

Wow, I just realized that the smily face is the whitest imodicon (white word of the month) ever, and I just used it twice.
It’s going to be a long Whites Anonymous (WA) meeting at Starbucks.

Hey, now! I have three bumper stickers and there is not a political, religious, opinionated one in the bunch. One is about literature, one is in Latin and has to do with dragons (well, I thought it was funny at the time…), and one says “Serenity”, as in the movie. Granted, I do have a fish on my car. AH! I am being controversial!

Since my dad’s fighting in Iraq, I should go against the purported flow and get a yellow ribbon. Nothing like being shunned.

I support your bill. Requiring people to communicate with each other when they disagree would revolutionize this country. I’m personally sick and tired of discussing politics with people who agree with me (well, most of the time).

If you pulled me over due to a “free tibet” sticker, I would tell you about the current situation there and our government’s failure to act. I would probably also ask you to write a letter to your elected officials and possibly even visit them to discuss this issue.

If you pulled me over due to a rainbow sticker and asked me not to rub my sexuality in your face, I would reply that I’ve dealt with heteronormativity (the assumption that heterosexuality is normal and standard) every day of my life. I would ask why I need to remain invisible while your so-called “private affairs” dominate the public with every mention of your girlfriend or boyfriend.

If you pulled me over for a bumper sticker claiming my child is an honor-roll student, I would laugh because someone else must have put that on my car.

If you pulled me over for a “war is not the answer” sticker, I might agree about the overly-idealistic tone but would likely respond that it is a time-and-place type of sticker. That means that it might have been acquired before the U.S. invaded Iraq, in which case its meaning would have been relevant. I might even argue that it is still relevant with the current discussion surrounding invading Iran.

Finally, let’s put it into law! I would love debating with those who disagree with me!

My favorite bumper stickers are the ones that tell us to save the environment,just like the driver of the car in front of you has done,by sticking a petroleum product onto a bumper that is made of plastic(petroleum)that is attached to a car that uses gas(petroleum).It is so amazing how clueless most people are.
The latest sticker I spotted said this,”Christmass is a holiday made in China”Can’t get much more white than that.

LOL.
People like you, and your white, conservative, Christian, anti-black, anti-women beliefs have ruined this country. I would rather spend my time learning about your so-called blacks, browns, yellows, and gays than whitey.
The irony is that you probably don’t even see the ignorance of your uneducated comment.

Right on, whitey! You’ve managed to re-affirm MY belief that if whitey would step down off their Woe-is-Me soap-box we’d all be better off.

I like the smug person driving a Volvo Wagon with a Nadar sticker flicking a cigarette out the window….saw this a lot in St. Pete Florida in the elections numnut ran in. Ask a body shop guy if he gets more keyed cars with dem stickers or with Republican stickers….One is common the other rare if ever…guess. Maybe this is why few Republicans use tacky stickers?

Bumper stickers are for pseudo intellectuals.. by not having a bumper sticker, i’m telling the drivers behind me that i’m a racist, non eco friendly, bush supporting, meat eating, bigotted communist. I don’t even need to put a sticker up to tell the other drivers on the road because they pin me every time with their prophetic “shame on you” one liners. Boy do I feel like a stupid Christian….

I’m a conservative in a very conservative county in Colorado and I would NEVER consider putting a conservative bumper sticker on my car because it WOULD get vandalized in my local Park-N-Ride. A McCain sticker is acceptable. I think.

They do! I live in nebraska and all of the stickers there remind me of how voting pro-choice condemns me to hell or they read: “Got Jesus?” “Abortion Stops a Beating Heart” and some are just American flags

It just makes me laugh because aren’t we all Americans? Why do have to get into a patriotic car contest to prove it??? If I have to look at another souped up back window on a Ford pickup with a bald eagle and the american flag…

“If i damage this persons car and force my liberal views on you for placing a bumpersticker on your car i just might proove my point.”

If its a war you want i think the republican party has prooven their ability to wage one, normally the battle field is not the bumper of your piece of shit hybrid. If liberals are that immature maybe they dont need to be running this country. On top of that making threats of violence over opposing political views sounds a bit communist to me. Soo stick that on your bumper and read it.

P.s. Just so you know i am neither republican or democrat. And Obama does suck

For the most part this blog is quite amusing and even somewhat accurate but it is neglecting a large number of white people who deserve to be made fun of. This section about bumper stickers is very blatant about limiting this blog to the liberal educated lefties while excluding the rest.

White people of all sorts seem to feel the need to express their views with bumper stickers. Sure there are the hippie “fur is dead” and greenpeace stickers and the leftie political “free Tibet”, “Obama ’08”, and various pro choice stickers. There are also plenty of redneck “got beer?” and “keep honking, I’m reloading” stickers and rightie political gun rights, anti-abortion, and “McCain ’08” stickers.

As for the the European oval stickers favoured on the left, the equivalent would be American and Confederate flags on the right.

Religion is another popular theme for bumper stickers usually with Wiccan pentagrams on the left and Christian Jesus fish on the right.

I implore all white people to keep their thoughts to themselves and off of their bumpers… its just friggin’ tacky.

I love those stickers, but then again, I’m about as white as you can get! And did you know that come in all kinds of cool shapes now – like sea turtles or flip flops in different sizes to designate parents and kids! How unbelievely exciting! And white!

Okay, okay, I know I look like an idiot. All three times that I tried to post my comment, I got the “page cannot be found” message. Then, they all popped up at once! I’m white, so I can’t risk people making fun of me for being stupid. But I do love those family stickers!

It should say “I’m a member of the Mexican KKK.” Seriously, though, I can’t understand why it wouldn’t be acceptable in ’08 to have a McCain sticker on the car; McCain is winning amongst whites, and will probably win the majority of the “white vote” in November. Obama stickers on McCain voters’ cars? American hypocrisy. At Christmas, I’d urge all of these people to replace their Obama sticker with a Tom Bradley sticker, for the “Bradley effect,” ha ha.

One or two is ok. It’s those cars with so many stickers on them the driver can barely see that are tacky as hell. Ever know someone with rust holes on thier cars that they cover with stickers ? I saw one car in Maine that had so many, I thought the friggin’ circus was in town.

Some of these kind-of-true and funny. This one is sooo not true. You must live in a VERY liberal state to print this one and some of the others. Who else would put a pro-gun, right-wing and pro-war sticker on their car? Only white people. It is a fact that minorities are usually liberal and whites are conservative. You need to get out of your state for once.

I never see a Prius full of stickers but I have seen Honda Civic’s full on the back. Probably because nowadays, not many people would sell their Honda, especially with these gas prices.http://www.poeticmotherlover.com

It’s very true, even for a “VERY liberal state” like Minnesota. It has nothing to do with minorities-whites / liberal-conservative. It’s about whippies having a COMPELLING need to let others know their opinions.

man, if you got some trash bumper stickers on yer car you ain’t the right kind of white person. i hate those people that put stickers all over there car–those can’t really be white people are they? they are? trash.

just trash.

wait, my dad put a bush sticker on his car back in the day. and some other republican things on his ol ranch truck. not his beautiful jag though.

I am a white person, and I despise bumper stickers. Not the stickers themselves, but the fact that liberals, a group I have absolutely no stomach for, LOVE bumper stickers.

I would be hesitant to put a conservative bumper sticker on my car for fear of a liberal keying the side of it. They preach tolerance for everyone except someone with an opposite viewpoint – then freedom of speech goes out the window.

Yes Wally, because a conservative would never key a car with a liberal bumper sticker, right? This site is fun, don’t be so angry 🙂

Once on the highway in Mississippi, a real tough motorcycle guy began to pass me, and I thought maybe he would give me the finger or something because of my “End This War” or “Obama 08” sticker. Instead he gave me a thumbs up! Just a reminder not to judge 🙂

all true:
my lawyer stepdad of my divorced (ex lawyer) mother owns a grey prius with barack obama and sqm (squam lake) stickers on the back. he always drinks coffee while blasting NPR or my ipod, if i’m in the car. we also take trips to seaside towns and eat expensive sandwiches at least a few times every week.
my family is the whitest ever
WELLESLEY MASSACHUSETTS

I got a bumper sticker in a Negativeland album back in the eighties that read “Car Bomb”. I kept it, figuring that I’d have a beat up car that deserved the connotation. Then 2001 came along and the whole world of real and serious car bombs and terror activity joined our happy white world. The “Car Bomb” sticker is still sitting in a file around here somewhere. I guess that’s never going on one of my cars. Maybe I can sell it to the Jihadi bastards.

long time whitey, first time commenter. love the site, but i think this particular entry must have been written by somebody who is specifically targeting white liberals. there is a whole subset of white people who have pro-gun, pro-confederacy, anti-abortion, etc. stickers. and, FWIW, 98% of all yellow ribboners are white people. shunning or no shunning, that’s a statistic you have to point out 🙂

As a minivan driving, more -than -80 -bumpersticker sporting white mom, I will tell you that the only bumper stickers I WILL NOT put on my car are political messages of any kind. I stick to sports, travel, pets, pithy quips on attitudes unbecoming a mom, hobbies and of course, Lebowskifest stickers. Ecletic, yes; political, no. and of course, I have the white oval with the black lab on it. Oh so white.

On point again. I swear you live in Boulder, CO. Seriously, how well can a bumper sticker espouse one’s believes. As if it’s so important to a person that they would wish to permanently append it to the vehicle that they’ll own for like 5 yrs.

Now, I’ve been known to go on drunken rants about bumper stickers before, so I’ll cut it off here. But bravo on calling out 80% of the vehicle owners in Boulder county.

“Therefore that one sticker must properly capture the essence of the car and the political views of the driver.”

Oh man I didn’t realize how white I was until I started reading your list! One of my bumper stickers is a biodiesel one, and the other is for a congressman I like. And I probably like at least 1/3 of all the other stuff on your list!

The only sticker I have on my car is an Apple sticker (see #40)- only stuck to the window though, because I wouldn’t want to mess up the paint job on a 10-year old car. I did buy my husband a “I ❤ my wiener” (like the dog) sticker as a gag gift, not for him to actually put on his car…his mother would die of embarrassment.

God, I had no idea how white we were. My “white” suv boasts a proud sticker of my kids uber-trendy arts magnet school, an Obama/Biden sticker and a crab with the name of the South Carolina Island where we vacation. Geez, now it all seems a little corny. Do you think our “ads” help us make friends with like-minded individuals? gross.

I don’t think tramp stamps are accepted by the elite, the upper-crust white people, therefore it couldn’t be added to the SWPL list. How many right-wingers (a.k.a. white trash) do you know that like yoga, free-trade coffee, and organic foods?

I saw a hilarious commercial the other day. It’s a car commercial and it has a bunch of smiling white people standing by their car showing off their bumper stickers. The commercial is talking about making a difference or something. I literally laughed til I cried, I just couldn’t believe. The only problem though was it was for Subaru not Prius.

I’m white, and hate bumper stickers. I don’t care what other drivers support (and around where I live – I typically don’t support it). Plus, the more bumper stickers a car has, the slower the driver seems to be.

I dunno, as much as they are annoying and I’m not personally fond of having them, there’s always a “fuck yeah” reaction to a car that has a message bumper sticker that I agree with. My initial (childish) assumption is then that the driver is probably a cool person, and that I will actually let them pass when they put on thier blinker. Same goes for someone that has a message you blatantly disagree with. Like the driver is an asshole and I will surely tail them if they drive too slow because they like McCain. I’m not saying any of this is right or rational. It just is what it is.

and for those white people who cant drive yet, dont forget the friend-sharable facebook bumper stickers. most either make a sex-joke, remind us all that mcdonalds sucks, or tell everyone that they’re in love with a fictional character… PRICELESS

I’m gonna go ahead and agree with this one. Also, the density of cars with bumper stickers is directly proportional to the distance from a city… like Seattle, or San Francisco. They’re also usually on green Subaru Outbacks (in Seattle) or a Toyota Prius of any color (in San Francisco).

I’m guilty of the Obama sticker… then I thought of the fact that my car is a hand me down of a hand me down already so maybe it wouldn’t be too much to get a COEXIST sticker… but my car still looks good and runs really well so maybe that would be too much. I’m torn. gawd, Its stressful being white sometimes, isn’t it?

1) Nuke Their Ass And Take Their Gas
2) Amerika Uber Alles
3) Palpatine / Vader for Prez
4) What Would Locutus Do?
5) There’s Nothing Like Lipstick On Your Dipstick
6) I Brake For All Animals Except Statists
7) Are We Having Fun Yet?
8) “Thin Blue Line” sticker (you know, the one White People use to hopefully dodge speeding tickets)
9) Support Your Local Death Squad
10) Admit It — You’d Really Like To Do Me (with a picture of Hillary Clinton c.1992)

Right on sister! I roll my eyes at all the W stickers I see around here (Memphis) and question how the owner’s of said vehicle can drive around with their head held high, considering he’s reputably the worst president on record. And I put myself in jeopardy driving around the mid-south with my “definition of liberal” bumper sticker. In fact, it was just a few weeks ago when it ruffled some redneck’s feathers while in the McDonald’s drive-thru. He called me a hippie (as if that was supposed to offend me). I thanked him and drove away laughing to myself. Little did he know I have a sticker that states “That’s Ms.Liberal, tree-hugging, hippie freak, to you pal” that I hadn’t put on my car yet…its still too new:) LOL.

So you’re saying I couldn’t possibly have both a lower back tattoo and like yoga & free-trade coffee? Hmmm…that must mean I’m middle class with champagne taste and a white trash roots. You obviously didn’t attend a hippie college in the northwest circa 1994. Only the most interesting girls were getting them back then.

Very Funny UNtil i read about the yellow ribbon? Do you not know what this means? Any body can have this ribbon and it doesnt say anything other then help keep up hope and remember the troops, me being one of them.

Many white Americans are Republicans, so this probably should be labelled Stuff Upper Class Liberals like, then it would work.
The conservatives have stickers too. They are usually pro-life, or about having an honor student. Not usually humorous, but a few are. Sometimes they tell you what kind of dog they like.
I wish the post had commented on the fish decorations, or the anti-fish decorations.

But once, I bought a used car and never even thought about the bumper stickers on it until someone commented that they thought I had been to Oral Roberts Un.
So i think the post isn’t accurate for white people generally.

This would have been funnier if it said, “OBX bumper stickers”. Seriously, the number of OBX bumper stickers one owns is proportional to the number of North Face jackets in one’s closet, at a ratio of about 1:2.

This! Or maybe Stuff Upper Class Liberals, Northerners, and Whites-Under-30 Like. Where I grew up, I don’t think I ever saw a bumper sticker for a Democratic candidate. I do remember seeing “In case of rapture, car will be unmanned” quite often, though.

One of the most popular bumper stickers, not mentioned here is the “fish”. Which is of course is at odds with the “fish with legs” bumper sticker which implies darwinism. I would think that the “fish with legs” would follow the theme of Stuff White People Like, and the “fish” would go into the category of the “wrong type” of white people.

popular and…ineffective hahaha. yea, hate bumper stickers. is that really a white person behavior? i always just put that on blowhard idealists who want to make sure everyone KNOWs what they support or not. wait…all those people are white, lol

You forgot: raising sons and daughters who invent all most all of the useful inventions, win almost all of the Nobel prizes, design almost all of the buildings, cars, trains, planes, and spacecraft, write almost all of the best selling and important books, create almost all of the new mathematics, science and engineering (I’ll stop now because I’m getting tired of typing).

what i dont get about this site is that, while very funny, it assumes that all white people are total liberals. there are a vast number of white people with politically conservative views. what if you want to make friends with them? or are you saying that no one in their right minds would want to make friends with them? so really, the name of this site should be “stuff white liberals like.”

My favorite bumper sticker says “Where’s the Birth Certificate?” and is aimed at Obama proving he WAS a natural born dual-citizen (US-Kenyan-Brit) before he became Indonesian. He is half-African and mostly caucasion since his real father was part Arab. OBAMA IS A LIAR-IMPEACH OBAMA!

Funny! The magnets are also very popular. White People (not sure about other people) have a collection on the side of there cars (preschools, support groups, sports teams, etc.), I guess when they have children and trade in there prius for a a dreaded mini van.

I live in a very conservative section of the country, apparently…everyone around here drives with bumper stickers supporting pro-life causes, creationism, and extreme patriotism. There are also your “hick” stickers, too…

p.s. does anyone else find it weird that the Confederate flag is a symbol of the ultimate country boy? Including in the conservative northern states?

I saw a car on the road a few days ago that you could barely see the paint on because of the insane number of bumper stickers, including two that were for politicians that ran against each other one year

I always like it when some assclown puts stars and bars next to the stars and stripes. I guess that they do not understand that they are opposites. It’s like singing “God Save the Queen” in Northern Ireland.

OK, confession…remember those bumper stickers that said something like ” I (picture of a heart) my (dog breed)….well, i was one of those that put those little round stickers with a picture of a screw over the “heart”…come to think of it…it still makes me laugh.

WOW !!! as soon as i read your comment i just had to reply: What the hell are you talking about Kerry? !White people, or ANY AMERICAN for that matter has not invented, built, or written anYthing important in more than 20 years!! You can not find 5 things in your home that all say MADE IN THE U.S.A. !!! MUCH LESS YOUR AUTOMOBILE!!! I’m sorry Kerry, WAKE UP! Math, science and engineering?! Seriously?! Kids aren’t being taught to write in cursive any more much less science and engineering. I can’t have a nice day when I know that this world power is failing. Long live the Japanese. The Germans should have won WWI and II. We would be ruled by the communist and be a very industrious people.

I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????

I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE, who only WASTE their money on things like meaningless bumperstickers.

Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)

See I have a lot of band stickers – that’s so other people might ask who the band is and i can be the first one to tell them about this awesome band! Or, someone who already likes the band can compliment it and i can tell them I’ve been listening to them for years before they got popular 🙂

oh thank god i dont like bumper stickers. anymore!
i did like the save the whales one ( which i stuck on my fish tank) and have lusted after another which said ‘Imagine Whirled Peas’ but no I dont like bumper stickers!!!!

Yes, I seen them “stars-and-bars” bumper stickers on cars on occassion. They could be descendants of families hailing from the South or Southeast states, like the “Okies” from Oklahoma and “Texans” dream of their state’s secession. Conservative white drivers have a ton of religious-themed bumper stickers, like “K-LORD”, “TBN”, their local church or private school and other usally conservative messages. Here’s one on Abortion: “Of all the abortion patients come into clinics, half of them come out alive”. +

How about a bumper sticker to demonstrate your support of all oppressed minority groups, like the American Indians?
“Indians still live”
“Free Peltier”
“The Republic of Lakota”
“The Black Hills are not for Sale”
“If you think the government doesn’t take land, ask an Indian” … and “This land was once OUR land”. +

A real angry white man bumper sticker collection:
“Will the last American in Monterey Park (or Alhambra) please take the American flag with you?” – the heavily East Asian immigrant community east of Downtown L.A.
“Last white standing in Compton (or Inglewood)”
and “My car was built in Detroit, America by Americans and for Americans, what about yours?” +

Let me add 5 more, I really liked those bumper stickers:
1. “My other car is a broom”
2. “Use your cell on the road? I carry a pistol”
3. “My student can beat up your honor roll student”
4. “Proud parent of a ‘D-‘ student”
5. “Ass or grass, nothing in life is free”
and 6. “If you see this a-rocking, don’t come a-knocking”.

tr(A)vis, even more bumper stickers support border patrol, Christianity, country music stars, rock music FM dial stations and a low brow sense of humor, are symbols of white folk from “dem hills”. They have stickers read “I fight poverty, I work” and “I love my country, but fear my government”.

yomama, being a political billboard out in public invites a few “road rage” incidents. Since when white people were openly political, religious or nationalistic? I love it when they insist everyone have manners, like taking away others’ right of free speech…and they wear their opinions? +

My Mom was a former police dispatcher who knew state penal code and federal laws, about vandalism and esp. against one for their political, religious or otherwise beliefs. We have hate crime legislation like to find out someone’s car has a Christian, Catholic, Jewish or Atheist message, and key their doors, pop their tires or write on windows, is illegal and constitutes an attack on a group of individuals. Since when a fundie keyed a door, smashed a window and posted a death threat on a front shield…because the car bumper sticker revealed “born-again Pagan or wiccan?” +

Great comment about personalized license plates was “why would I spend $80 when I can buy a bumper stucker for $2?” I write for http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com and you typically don’t see a lot of stickers on porsches and ferraris. That said, nothing shows off your genuine and individual sense of humor or point of view like a mass produced sticker that 1000’s of other people have!

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Portland stole the “Keep Portland Weird” slogan from Austin (“Keep Austin Weird”, coined in the 90’s). As a white person in Austin, a city that still sits behind Portland on the White Progressive totem pole, I felt an overwhelming urge to point that out.

I was in Vermont this past weekend and saw an abundance of Subaru station wagons and BMW sport utilities with the requisite (1) white oval ‘VT’ sticker, (2) the Obama sticker, and/or (3) the Human Rights Campaign blue and yellow equals sign sticker, among others.

Some other white person auto decor possibilities…

– the Darwin fish (or, for the quirkier white person, a fish paying tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Cthulhu)
– Life Is Good stickers
– sticker indicating the liberal arts college you attended/are attending

no, you missed MY point: whites like diversity and stickers like those, but treat America’s Muslim population like a ticking bomb thanks to the media’s portayal of them. Hence my sarcasm in the previous comment.

The european stickers were used in Europe long before the EU and weren’t mandatory (at least in Spain). In the EU no one uses them any more, so they’ll become of interest in say, 2-3 years (once you americans stop using them, mind you).

Only exception is ex-Yugoslavia. Everyone uses them as means of patriot identification/ways of making yourself hateable elsewhere.

I went through processing in Ft. Benning GA for a stint in Iraq, virtually every car I seen in GA had a support our troops sticker. In Wash. where I live now, you almost never see one, even though we have more bases here than GA.

Gave up on bumper stickers…ALL politicians, of any party, seem to be only interested in “feathering” their own nests, and working on their next election. As far as other stickers, i could care less what you believe in, and my own beliefs are none of your business (here, on this site, i do like to stir the pot though).
Besides, bumper stickers leave a gummy residue on a bumper that is hard to remove.

Man, bumperstickers are ridiculous. I recently saw one that read, “I’m MADD because a drunk driver killed my son!” I’m sorry, but if my son was killed I would not want to use his death as propaganda and broadcast it to the world in the form of a sticker on my car. People need to not have bumperstickers. Period. They are retarded. And distracting to the driver behind you who may rear-end you accidentally, trying to read your car decor.

I have bumper stickers, but not the annoying political ones or obviously over-sharing ones. I don’t think it’s hypocritical for me to have some random stickers. My favorite: “Every mother is a working mother”…. I don’t think I am forcing my opinion, just sharing it, and hopefully bringing a knowing smile to other mothers’ faces.

EVERYONE (or at least the MAJORITY) would say they like anything more then obama…mainly because most do not like obama….the people who never liked him still do not like him and the “main” voters who got him elected are tired of his ridiculous attempts to ruin this country and NO LONGER support him at all. also…most people in the US are NOT liberals…they are conservatives….

The ultimate bumper sticker that I see primarily white people having is the “coexist” bumper sticker as if the United States has issues coexisting. I would love to see that bumper sticker in iran or any other muslim nation. I dont think it would fly there. Why? Because there is only one religion of tolerance. In the US, Canada, Mexico, Europe, and other free nations there are a multitude of various churches, temples, and mosques. You dont see that in muslim countries.
Thiw bumper sticker really offends me as I dont see its point except to say to americans “you don’t have tolerance” when in acuality we do. We may not like it, but all you need to do is go into Michigan to see how tolerant this country is.

why do only white people have bumper stickers? They are the only group willing to trash their cars and expose their temporary emotions which will change once they either self employed or paying too much in federal and state taxes.

hmmm.. are you claiming that Muslim countries do not have sites of worship other than mosques? How about you visit Egypt, Lebanon, or Palestine. There are very large Christian communities in all three countries and they practice their religions freely and coexist with the Muslims quite well.

The reason (liberal) white people love the “coexist” bumper sticker is because they see how ethnocentric other white people (yourself) are and how there is a belief that all other religions are less tolerant and not as worthy as the ethnocentric white person’s faith (usually the same as Pat Robertson’s faith). There are religious bigots in the U.S. just like there are in the rest of the world, and as long as you don’t see that, there is reason to keep putting that sticker on your car.

torturing palestinians and killing their children is a huge contribution to society. thanks for being so “tough.”
getting your wealthy american cousins to coerce politicians into supporting israel is truly commendable.
oh, and you’re welcome for the 3 billion a year, we don’t need it to educate our youth and provide them with insurance.

if i remember correctly there was a public apology for the way the japanese were treated and although it was quite meaningless and far too late, the government gave the decedents of those put in internment camps money as a show of their remorse. it doesn’t mean much, but it still counts

also, eastern europeans were discriminated against when quotas were set to prevent their immigration to the U.S. in the late 1800s and in the post-9/11 era, middle easterners are discriminated targetted by immigration law with quotas and far slower process of naturalization.

I agree the co-exist bumper sticker is gay(the bad kind of gay)
Nobody was ever so moved by the stupid bumper sticker as to make it worth sticking on your car. Almost any time I see a non-funny bumper-sticker (lame political jokes don’t count) I lose some degree of respect for that person, small, but it is lost, I also make a mental note to steer conversations in directions pertaining to the issue in the future, because whether I agree with this person or not, I can be sure that whatever they have to say about it will be unpleasant and obnoxious to listen to . The only exception being when I come across an unlikely vehicle whose bumper stickers paint a picture of someone interesting. A republican who hates bush, a homo who loves guns, a combat veteran who likes sykdiving and obama… there is no possible combination of pro-bush bumper stickers that could ever make a person interesting.

>They are the only group willing to trash their cars and expose their temporary emotions which will change once they either self employed or paying too much in federal and state taxes.

You mean once they delude themselves into thinking that when people talk about “the rich” that they’re being talked about. I think it’s funny that small business owners/self employed people think they’re part of the elite class.

And actually turn on your radio dial (not XM, good luck with FM, try the AM wave) to find the very Spanish-speaking radio station. If it plays reggaeton, salsa or tropical, its a plus. But you get bonus if it plays tejano, conjunto or banda.

Political bumper stickers are the modern cultural equivalent of Custer’s Last Stand or the Alamo. Your candidate may have lost, terribly, in an election far far removed in time but he will always be remembered.

I got a chuckle out of this. While I do think it’s a white thing, I also think it’s only a specific type of white person (or people). Funny enough, I think only white hippies and white red necks (a bit redundant there, but nevermind) use bumper stickers. The only sticker I’d put on my car is the mandatory inspection sticker. But hey, that’s just me.

that first picture is totally taken right across the street from my old elementary school! i recognized it instantly just by the blinding orange fire escape that we used to hang out on. that place has turned into an environmental school, so it fits perfectly that a hippy car would be parked there with a million “earth-friendly” bumper stickers.

I LOVE this one. I just made the escape from Eugene, OR where I spent the last 7 years of my life. (FYI – I promptly moved to a mostly african american neighborhood near the south side of Chicago – seriously).

The number of bumper stickers attached to vehicles in Eugene amazes me – mostly because everyone else HAS THE SAME F’ing OPINION!. I think that the author misses the point in this section. The bumper stickers are not about educating everybody else. The bumper sticker is a badge that reaches out to the person behind them and says, “Hey, I know that I am driving waaaay slow in the left lane, but look at my bumper sticker – we are part of the same team!!”

Likely it’s because I live in Kansas, in more expensive white neighborhoods, some reference to how you support our troops is de rigueur. Since I live in Lawrence, Kansas, Cool White people know that the place to live is east or north Lawrence, integrated neighborhoods that help white people demonstrate non racistness. In these neighborhoods having a support our troops sticker is evidence that you are the wrong kind of white people. However, in “New West Lawrence”, the part of Lawrence that is the closest to Johnson County, the 19th wealthiest county in the US by median income, not having a support our troops sticker of some sort is an indication that you are a different sort of wrong kind of white people, and should move north or east.
The most effective way, in Kansas, to demonstrate non racistness is to have a bumper sticker that says “Kansas: as bigoted as you think” which is the ultimate expression of not only nonracistness, but the expected level of internalized Kansasphobia for liberal kansans.

I notice a trend in your blog seems to suggest that white people are all against right-wing politics, republicans, guns, hunting, etc. That doesn’t seem to apply to the entire demographic of white people.

This blog obviously isn’t written in Texas. Gay, Democrat-supporting, “open-mind”-encouraging, or any religion other than Christianity bumper stickers are not only in the minority, you’d be advised not to park a car with said stickers anywhere in a smaller Texas town. Bad things have happened to cars like that, (vandalism, threats to owners, etc.)

I enjoyed this very much. It’s really amazing how predictable all groups of people are. Have you ever noticed cyclists all decked out looking like Lance Armstrong clones or a motorcycle gang in their “uniforms”?

Given their propensity for ramming opinions down the throats of other, I always thought the “Coexist” bumper sticker would be more appropriate if the Star of David, i.e. the “X”, were replaced by a swastika. I mean, it looks kind of like and “X”, right ?

I used to have a “NO FAT CHICKS” bumper sticker on my car but when people pointed out that it was politically incorrect to have it I peeled it off and replaced it with a “SAVE THE WHALES” bumper sticker.

It truly is sad that the yellow magnetic sticker is shunned by some people. Our troops, which include several of my own family members, need to be remembered. These tofu eating, yoga doing hippies need to realize that the reason that they are allowed criticize the troops is because of the troops.

There’s nothing wrong with the way that some people choose to live, but they need to respect the sacrifice that the servicemembers and their families endure. It doesn’t matter why the war started or who started it, the troops are only doing what their commander-in-chief orders. Keep them in your prayers.

You are the textbook definition of a racist white american. And the sad thing is that you may not even realize it. 99% of all White Americans are racist. You are the perfect example of White Priviledge and institutionalized racism. You’ve probably never heard of it. White people couldn’t see racism if it hit them in the side of the head. So don’t feel guilty or anything. Just keep profiting and writing more racist books for all the racist white americans out there.

The white man’s struggle is a superficial one. He doesn’t need to fight racism or poverty or anything any other minorities in america do. So he just makes lists of things he likes for his own amusement at the expense of other minorities. Your blog is clearly racist. White people can’t see racism because they’ve never experienced it but every other minority in america can see how much of a racist you and everyone who reads it is. You are exposing the true racism in america today.

Absolutely fabulous post. Reading this item immediately called to mind all of the “If you aren’t outraged, you aren’t paying attention” bumper stickers that I’ve seen (which only serve to make me outraged at the car sporting the sticker and its occupant).

I always get mad when people with Christian bumper stickers don’t drive like Christians.
I feel the need to tailgate those with stickers telling me to get off their ass.
I like to honk at Baby On Board signs because they didn’t have those when my kids were babies and they didn’t care about my babies and I want to wake theirs. These signs don’t give you the right to drive like an ass.
The worst are political party stickers and it’s okay to damage those stickers on parked cars.
Also, personalized licence plates are so fucked as are the people who waste their money on them.
I want to blend in and not be noticed by cops or even you.
I am white.

Anderson, you’re right, white people really haven’t experienced the prejudice and racial struggles that the others have, so you’re offended by the one guy aiming racial humor at white people? His writings clearly target the stereotypical, personal weaknesses of Caucasians in a comical way. Racism is defined as the belief that a race(or races) is superior to another. I don’t think anyone is hearing that in these articles, and you’re a fool if you think that hating us, because we’re white, isn’t racism. And we both know that “99% of White Americans” isn’t a statistic you researched in a 2010 survey study, that’s a pretty GENERALIZED statement, so you might to reexamine yourself before you lead the witch hunt for the white devil.

Anderson, you’re right, white people really haven’t experienced the prejudice and racial struggles that the others have, so you’re offended by the one guy aiming racial humor at white people? His writings clearly target the stereotypical, personal weaknesses of Caucasians in a comical way. Racism is defined as the belief that a race(or races) is superior to another. I don’t think anyone is hearing that in these articles, and you’re a fool if you think that hating us, because we’re white, isn’t racism. And we both know that “99% of White Americans” isn’t a statistic you researched in a 2010 survey study, that’s a pretty GENERALIZED statement, so you might to reexamine yourself before you lead the witch hunt for the white devil..

This is f-ing hilarious. I live in Austin and the bumper sticker one HAD to be written by someone who either lives here or has at least experienced our “stay weird” mentality.

My husband is black from the ‘hood in Houston. I am white with a proper British Mum, and these cracked both of us up. Of course, political correctness has no place in our home… a big part of our dating bonding was laughing at ourselves (first and foremost) and then everyone else.

This morning we even had laughs about the differences in toast preferences. I like the proper English way of making toast… let it cool, then butter. My husband made something this morning with bread and butter in a pan. 🙂 I ended up calling it “ghetto butter toast” and asking for more!

Neither of us are sensitive about the other one racial profiling. We figure, there is a reason for stereotyping, even if not every single person fits the bill, there is still enough there for us to laugh about.

White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.

Which is just the truth! Ever see that car going down the road with the “End War” and the “Free Tibet” bumper-sticker? I always wondered how they expected to do BOTH. Do they really think China is going to wake up one morning and say, “Crap, occupying this smaller nation has been so rude. We should give it back.”

It ticks me off that Americans stole the whole European car sticker idea, and now you can see the oval-shaped stickers on more cars and now they have weird letters on them, the meaning of which is indecipherable. As a language teacher, this ticks me off. I no longer have my country sticker with the letter D for Deutschland. I traded it for something more original. Does that make me “white”?

This bumper sticker topic reminds me of all the whites (99.9%) in the building I live in. 99.9% of them drive domestic vehicles which has the dealer emblem/decal on the rear of the vehicle. I find that so common-class and tacky, which goes hand in hand with their love for bumper stickers.

As a liberal yuppie, I can’t help but defend myself a little bit. In Ohio, where I’m from, there are just as many “i know better than you” white people bumper stickers from the other side of the political spectrum, bragging that the drivers “don’t believe the liberal media,” or are some degree of proud Redneck. Also loads of pro-life stickers, pro-troops stickers, and the associated ribbons for troops.

since these are ALSO almost exclusively white people, it seems too bad that you don’t apply your irony to those people as well.

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let me see what mine say, brb ….. “we are defined not only by what we create, but by what we refuse to destroy”, “e(art)th”, “renewable energy will never melt down, or poison the planet”, “(A) no gods, no masters”, “life is a daring adventure, or nothing”, “coffee, not bombs”, Bike, “the zeitgeist movement” and the epic “coexist” sticker

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I had to chuckle at one particular idiot doing the stereotyping of the UK routine somewhere above (it’s the UK, not specifically England as said idiot referred to it as, why do so many Americans make that mistake? you have the internet at your finger tips, remember), in addition to what said idiot said, did you know we say ‘What ho old bean’ all the time, wear bowler hats and drink nothing but tea with our constant diet of steak and kidney pudding?

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The stupidest shit I see on people’s cars is the religion v.s. science debate with what was at first the symbol for Christianity. All this tells me is to stay far the fuck away from you as humanly possible as any person who posts things on his car like his beliefs is an IDIOT.

I could give a shit less about your fiery passion and hatred of of one thing v.s. other things. You want people to immediately judge you right off the bat? Put decals like that on your car. This is coming from a 20-something year old Latina. Seriously you types of people, grow the fuck up.

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This is a part of A white culture, and yes it tends to be largely Liberal, which is annoying and often naive, good intentions aside. The vast majority of blue collar, right, and other ‘muricans don’t do this, or its zombie and gun stickers.

Also, I.would gladly put a D on my car, I’m half-German, you know the country taken over by a dictator that everyone likes to make jokes about, hypocrites.

I’m going to write a post now about how blacks like chicken, cause that’s totally different.

There is one bumper sticker that is primarily white conservative and that is “Look twice. You’ll save a life” with regards to motorcycles. I’m sorry. I’m so sick of seeing these. This is the one thing the conservative side is self righteous about. I would be afraid I would jinx myself if I put this bumper sticker on my car. I would be afraid I’d end up on Youtube with a bike through my passenger window and the bumper sticker there for everyone to see. “I guess he didn’t look twice.” – they all would say. First of all, guys buy motorcycles because they think they’re cool and want to get attention from chics. Why do they think this? Because Bikes are dangerous. If they were not dangerous, they would not have a cool factor about them. With this case in point, they made their decision when they bought the murdercycle. They need to look twice for me because my truck is large and has many blind spots.

Hilarious… And very true!!! I am guilty as charged:
Straight Outta Scotland decal: I was Glasgow born n raised.
Anonymous decal: Political statement 🙂
Question Authority magnet: Political
Obey Little, Resist Much: as above
Anarchy decal: ditto
Strange Music decal: yup, my musical taste
In addition, I will add that you may have noticed these are decals or magnets: my car is 3 years old, lol!!
SPOT ON observations from the palest, political, Scottish, white woman driving around Colorado – while eating a burger, lol!!!!

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Would you like me to tell you what I think of Blacks? That’s basically what you did to white people talking about bumper stickers. And of course you had the Chicken White Bloggers agree with you. Because just the thought of telling you what they really think, well honey chile, they just might piss their pants! But me, no you don’t scare me. I know that pisses you off that an actual white person would publicly disagree with YOU and tell you (without hiding behind bumper stickers to vent your “I don’t like white people”) words. Can you take it? Cuz here it is: Oh no, wait a minute the first and only time you voted for a president was Obama, cuz he’s black, well partially black. Who ya gona vote for now sugar, cuz they ain’t no darkies in the runnin. No you will just stay at home and sit on your ass like the rest of you darkies, while us crackers and clear folk go out and vote. What happened to Colin Farrell, he was a staunch republican until the person who looks like a cross between the cover of mad magazine and the tv character Eurkle came out to play President, suddenly he went black on us! Oh my! If your a girl bye Felicia, if not you better call Tyrone- but you can’t use a government phone…….

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Nobody with any right-wing views dares put a sticker on their car. Because they are afraid that the intolerant left wing people will key it. Conservatives are just happy that the left-wing morons let us all know who to avoid when moving through traffic. We know that anyone with such a convoluted ideas and thought processes cannot possibly be able to operate a vehicle properly.

As a white folk, I can tell you that we don’t all like bumper stickers. When I see a bumper or window stickers, I think either self-centered or stupid. The white ovals with crap in them are self-centered folks way of trying to brag about where they have been, where they live, or something they think is cool even though they have nothing to do with it.
Other stickers allow the less intelligent to share what they like or their views. In reality, nobody cares. I happened to notice a couple other of your listed items, and I don’t see one I agree with. It seems your list is what yuppies and shallow folks like, not white people.

You’re supposed to laugh at how silly we humans can be, not pitch a fit and whine about whether Republicans or Democrats are the true owners of the National discourse.

It’s 2016 now and both parties are completely f–cked.

So, instead of being a PC tool or a warmongering religious fundamentalist, go have a beer, have 6, grab some boots on the dancefloor and STFU in general. We want to enjoy ourselves as the Titanic goes down, not listen to complainy diatribes about brilliant humor pieces.

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I have a 2001 Honda, I’m white but not a WASP. It’s true, rear window used to have a Free Tibet sticker that weathered away, I am Buddhist. But in the present, vicious, right-wing, repressive political climate, where a minority of people people feel they have permission to be loud, visible and violent, I am afraid to have any stickers at all, for fear of waking up one morning (or coming back to the car in a parking lot) and finding my car or home vandalized. I never declared my political affiliation publicly before, because I always felt it was no one’s business, but this time I did think of installing a front-yard sign, the political climate being so vociferous this time… and then suddenly realized I felt afraid to do so, for fear of it being stolen, or being vandalized or finding a threat, or garbage, or worse in my yard. I was never afraid before. I’m old enough to remember WW2 and how it began, with brown shirts and suppression of journalists, and see parallels today. Several decades ago, out of the blue, I answered my phone and a gravelly, electronically-disguised voice full of hate and vitriol said “you f—ing Jew c–t…” The blood drained out of my head; the police told me I was on my own unless physically attacked, the Anti-Defamation League is a joke… I was here today only looking for a cute plate frame about my pet parrot, and was led to this website out of curiousity, but I feel more serious about this issue and can’t joke about white people. There are all kinds of white people, like with other colors. Perhaps you meant Xtian fundamentalist white people, or redneck white people, or nouveau riche white people… I’m caucasian but not narrow. Sorry for such a long entry, this may be the only place where I will share these thoughts and fears. I am heartbroken over what’s happening today, and old enough to wonder if I will live long enough to see a turnaround. I know I’m not the only one scared. So if I do get s bumper sticker, it would never be religious, political or anything that could remotely borrow trouble for me. I cannot imagine that any car decoration seen for ten seconds at a red light will sway any driver’s mind anyway… But I have seen funny ones that made me smile, and nowadays, that’s so very appreciated. As a child-free, financially independent woman, I thought I’d get one that said “my African Grey is smarter than your honor student…” which is true! I would never post anything politically or religiously “hot” for fear, as I confided to a friend, of finding a swastika painted on my front door with chicken blood one morning. I live in an ignorant, provincial area of the country, where I have a handful of times been discriminated against because I’m white… I was racially profiled and misdiagnosed by a doctor years ago because of my gender and cultural heritage, and had to travel to the Mayo to get diagnosed. I don’t want to borrow trouble. I’m sorry if this brings you down… would never disclose this stuff if you could find out who I am. This is like a confessional. Don’t risk road rage or neighborhood bullies, it’s not worth it, especially if you have kids. Me… I am old enough to understand how fragile and short life is, and how nasty the lunatic fringe is becoming with the encouragement and blessing of journalists and a certain politician. Maybe a nice t-shirt would be better.

There is actually a Latino equivalent in New Mexico, for white folks’ stickers: the low rider. Mostly owned by lower-class socioeconomic Hispanics. They love these cars, love to bounce around on the hydraulics and drag through quiet neighborhoods blasting bone-rattling, irritating boombox stereos at night, go-pro their bros doing wheelies and driving in the wrong direction on the freeway… This latter dangerous activity also occurs in Los Angeles. There’s a local joke that you can tell when it’s spring in Espanola, NM because the fake fur on the fuzzy dice and dashboards starts to grow faster!

I wonder how many of you have seen two classic movies: “Giant” and “Gentleman’s Agreement.” One doesn’t need to be violent or vulgar to make a point about racism. Both were landmark movies without being crude or shocking.

Something else that hasn’t been addressed here is the topic of assimilation. Once folks make the middle class, do they become Honorary White People? (Gads I hope we’re still in a satirical frame). Is that like an Uncle Tom?

And by the way,,. to the person who sounded serious when they said Jews are Semites, never white: the former is a political/religious identity, the latter a medical designation, and you also need to know that there are Jews in every culture, as with every other religion… it’s a religion, not a color. For instance, if you want to get a good imaging study of a white patient, you label them Caucasian, because white people statistically have thinner bones when they are born, people of color thicker bones. It’s not racism. Jewish and Latino are social identity affiliations, not medical impartial race. So, do you want good saturation and a great x-ray, or do you want to irritate the rad tech? In both genotype and phenotype, east European and Sephardic Jews are white, sweetie.

If you of a diffrent race or cultural differences & been rised up in poverty or with a silver spoon in your mouth you should keep your ADVICE TO YOURSELF IF OTHERS WAS RAISED DIFFERENTLY OR OF DIMINISHED CAPACITY.
BECAUSE YOU MAY HINDER AND NOT HELP IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE PERSON’S BACKGROUND AND SO FORTH WHAT MAY HELP OTHERS MIGHT NOT HELP THEM SO PUT A ZIPPER ON IT IF YOU DON’T PLAY THE TAPE ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!!!!

Anyone else chuckling at the irony of this post which is #1 telling people what to think about people who have bumper stickers, and #2 that this guy thinks he understands on what people think, and their reasoning, white or otherwise.

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