Friday, January 30, 2009

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Firstly, with regard to The Great Fyxomatosis Photo Parody Contest (Presented by Boston Whaler Boats--The Unsinkable Legend) I plan to finally announce a winner next week. I'm sorry for the delay, but to be honest judging this contest has taught me a great deal about myself, and one of the things I've learned is that I can be indecisive when it comes to picking a winner from a vast pool of bike porn. Another thing I've learned is that, despite (or perhaps because of) having been raised by tuber farmers, I absolutely hate water chestnuts. Also, I had to wait for more smocks. In any case, feel free to browse the submissions, and again, if you don't find yours (and you submitted by December 31st, the official deadline) let me know. Announcement to follow next week.

"...tricks are rad. personally hella stoked on all the crazy shit kids are coming up with on these bikes. just don't hate on those of us who still find the most exciting aspect of riding a fixed gear bicycle being the times when your ipod is blasting your favorite metal band at full volume while downhill through heavy traffic trying to catch all the green lights and passing up all the cars. and yes, there are peeps in sf with BMW gangsta tracks, and volume cutters, with DMR forks, etc. etc. - just like in skateboarding there's dudes that rock big fat wheels and only skate tranny and pools, and then theres dudes that skate smaller wheels on street. just two different styles of manipulating a fixed wheel, neither is better than the other - everyone needs to chill out about it! they are both awesome in their own ways. yahll needs to just smoke some joints and be happy. we are the building blocks of this shit. stay positive!"

hi, i have a question to yesterdays post but post it here lest it be ignored.as we learned in the movie "knocked up" you have to ride bare ass to get pinkeye.this raises the question:is it really hands that were used with the handelbar condoms presented yesterday, or was another body part fitted to the handlebars?

Considering that we are mostly degenerates (that is to say, we are mostly men), I was surprised that we made it through yesterday's comment section without a single comment about the spangle-covered cooch on the trick-bike rider.

I think that P-far guy is competing in the bone-shaker version of the Tour, and has stopped so his team mechanic can replace a broken spoke. It takes awhile, as he has to whittle them from a nearby oak, but he's in no hurry. His nearest competitors are over 100 years behind him.

I took the liberty of translating the "words of wisdom" through a free online service:

"the turns are there. personally the hella charged on all the insane children with shit provide on these bicycles. just don't hatred of us who always find the most enthralling aspect to mount a bicycle being times when your iPod breath your metal coil. none of both is better than other - everyone must from concerning cooling! yahll must smoke some connections only and happy to be. we are the construction toes of this shit. aytfsmb!"

The tube coming from that P-far rider is not a Camelback. As mentioned by AH (often misspelled HA), it's a catheter tube.

It was very fashionable in the 1800s to drink one's own urine while riding to maintain virility and potency. This was followed by urinating in aluminum bottles for drinking in the early 1900s, and finally replacing urine with water in plastic bottles in 2006.

The tubing visible in #1 of the Friday Fun Quiz is actually the extension tubing connected to the catheter. The extension tubing typically is a larger diameter than the actual catheter.

For all RTMS readers interested, the name of the system is the Urophagia Cameltoe Bladder Free Hydration Device or UCTBFHD. The Cameltoe name is a trade name derived from the appearance of the tubing and the penis that is compressed under Lyrca forming the look of the traditional camel toe. Also, the Bladder Free nomenclature can be misleading. Bladder Free refers to the lack of a hydration bladder, while the UCTBFHD catheter dwells in the rubber's anatomical bladder.Urinary catheters are sized in French units and the trendy cath in the p-far scene is the 22 French Coudé that has a 45° bend at the tip to allow easier passage through an enlarged prostate.

The prostate in these men are typically not enlarged, but there is currently a pervasive prostate obsessed hysteria, POH, in the p-far culture. In most cases a non-Coude is appropriate.

The Coude is often the catheter of choice of clinicians when caring for men with prostate cancer. The choice of the coude for the UCTBFHD is a nod of solidarity and support to those survivors of the cancer community.

Once I backwashed into my UCTBFHD and ended up admitted as an inpatient with pyelonephritis and I haven't used it since.

Device with tubing extending to penis and beyond very common in Siberia as I am learning. Being flushed with hot water or vodka, or even hot vodka to maintain proper body temperature during exposure to harsh Siberian winter.

Temperature at Privetnoya, little outstopping past Novobilsk, climbing to 30 below the zero. Am hoping you Americans spend very much money to make temperature go down.

So, which is worse: Someone with no tattoos wearing Primal's sleeves, or someone WITH tattoos wearing these tat jacket things?

What would happen if someone with the Primal tattoo sleeves pulled a pair of tat jackets over them? Then who would hate/accept them? Or, if someone with tattoos put tat jackets on, THEN the primal sleeves?

I was just looking for a You Tube video of a Surly Pugsley in the snow (what more is there to do with 53 minutes remaining of a Friday workday?) and came upon this intimate look at Lance at play and even some brief footage of the bowels of his Austin compound. Could this be some kind of hoax? Sorry I don't know how to make links tidy and highlighted. it's entitled Mash SF Austin with Lance Armstrong. It's worth it to see the glimpse at the end of the Lance Armstrong Museum inside the compound. Sure I have a few of my fourth-grade field day ribbons framed (3rd Place in the softball throw, honorable mention in the broad jump), but it seems a bit excessive to have such a wall of yellow, the jerseys all dry cleaned and behind glass (along with the number one).

I see the model is testing the seat height by placing her heel on the pedal at the bottom of the stroke. Her smile says that she must have found it but is in need of overbite work. Perhaps she can find a cycing dentist. If she does he will be Rocking/Riding/Rubbing something expensive.

Just let me know who the winner of the decal is Snobbie and it's in the mail.

That P-Far dude is just way ahead of the style curve for most people to even begin to understand.First, he's rocking that bitevalve through the right side beltloop, then held in position with the 8" red tie. So cool.Second, check out the knickers with the triple silver grommets. I mean wow, Rapha eat your heart out.And lastly he shows Lance that if your going to piss off the Italians with your ugly "tall socks", do it right with the new Swobo "Tall Dogs"!

Smartypants, step away from the bong before you hurt yourself. Better yet, go to your fridge and mix some real butter into your tub of "I Can't Believe it's not Butter," then spend a few hours contemplating the metaphysical implications of what you have done.

ok i looked it up. i think this is theartistic bicycle girl:http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=MiE1Qm7HSd8that video was obviously shot inhamburg, germany, where that lab is i wastalking about. so i guess she does havea PhD in particle physics (in a additionto one in fixed gear freestyling?)btw that platform is a bmx hotspotusually, located above a museum,probably closed for the purpose of the shot

Yeah, I remember when I used to bomb through traffic with my favorite speed metal blasting on the iPod. Now my left collarbone is no longer fully attached to the rest of my shoulder. This guy's a freakin' genious.

It's always a good idea to sound a little more intelligent than the person who you call an idiot.

Regarding your injury, I would recommend the following, "I fell off of my bicycle, and now have a chronic injury to the AC joint. The acromioclavicular joint is formed by the outer end of the clavicle and the acromion process of the scapular. The acromion is a bony process which protudes forwards from the upper part of the scapular. This joint forms the highest part of the shoulder. I was a fucking idiot, and not only does it hurt me to see other riders risking injury, but I feel like an olde grouche. And also I am reminded of how much I hurt while rubbing."

Now you're primed to call out the idiots because it should be obvious to all that you know what you're talking about.

I have a girls bick that is used and in good shape. It might need a little oil on the chain. If interested I will show it to any one who wants it. I have it for sale for $350.00 or best offer. Answer this ad with your name and phone number Bick is in garage in Little Neck and you must be able to pick it up. I can't deliver it. (no picture)

me and ricky been holded up in the pubic libary because of the ice storm and the libary lady wont let us look at the fuck books or porn on the computer so me and ricky been looking at the kids books and we figured out that you can rite any kind of stupid bullshit you want and if someone draws good pictures then itll get put out as a kids book so me and ricky are going to gets into the kids book bizness

heres our first pome

the itsy bitsy spider went out onto his deckdown came the rainand took his welfare checkthe isty bitsy spider ten voted for da manand he moved on down to viperwhere ricky and i beet the shit out of him

i knows that last line needs to be rerote because its like a first draft or something

But if you still have the need to snob on a ladies bike then check out the Teen Vogue whip: the ALL YOU HATERS SUCK MY BALLS message is misaligned on the lime green deep vee and the decals are not opposite the valve stem but are between 1 to 3 o'clock.

well,well,well!my humble polo bike has made it to BIKESNOB :)i must point out though,the fold was so sloppy after 6 months of polo that i had to braze it shut!and its actually a recycled stormwater drain exploring bike.yes!no shit!as we say in the clan "GO IN DRAYNES" before that incarnation it was an ESKA shopping bike,the kind with a long forgotten pump slowly rusting away in the seat tube.thanks to my bosses neighbour who dumped it on the nature strip,she was actually pleased to see it reborn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!onyas.petebikepolo.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!