Tuesday, July 24, 2012

My interview with Jennifer Steen for “Jennisodes” is now up. In it,
we discuss an array of topics ranging from how I got into this bizarre hobby,
the body of my work, Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG, The Dungeon Alphabet, Fight
On! magazine, this blog, and, of course, “Of Unknown Provenance.” You can
listen to my dulcet tones by clicking on this
link.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

My regular readers know that I’ve penned the upcoming DCC
adventure Emirikol Was
Framed! and that it’s due for release later this year. What is not common
knowledge is that I’ve written a second adventure and that I’m currently
working on a third Dungeon Crawl Classics scenario.

The second adventure is entitled The Sea Queen Escapes! and
it’s now in the final stages of revisions and playtesting. The cover art is
complete and the book is almost ready to go into layout. No release date or
formal announcement has yet been issued, but I have permission to talk a little
bit about it. You can hear me say a few words about The Sea Queen on an
upcoming episode of Jennisodes, and
those of you looking for more details about my DCC work, Stonehell Dungeon, and
“Of Unknown Provenance” should tune in once that goes live.

As I mentioned, The Sea Queen Escapes! is undergoing
playtesting at the moment by certain select groups. One such group played
through the adventure this weekend. Amongst the players at the table was Jim
Wampler, the mind and pen behind Marvin
the Mage! I’ve mentioned Marvinin
the past and Grognardia gives old Marv some wordage as well in this post.
If you’re not currently reading Marvin, I suggest you point your browser over
to mudpuppycomics.com and catch up
on the fun.

One of the unique monsters featured in The Sea Queen Escapes!
are the lampreymen, an sea-going race that makes an appearance early on in the
aquatic-themed adventure. Jim Wampler, inspired by the party’s run in with
these cold-blooded suckers, created a wonderful illustration of them in his own
unique comic style. Both Jim and Joseph Goodman gave me their blessings to
share Jim’s work with my readership.

Having no visual artistic talent of my own, it’s always a
surprise and an extreme pleasure to see something that existed solely in my
head and in written form come to life in an artistic depiction, and Jim’s take
on the lampreymen is no exception. I’m digging the bandoleer of pouches this
guy’s rockin' as he comes at you with his spear and big old mouth.

Hopefully this small glimpse at just one of the many threats
awaiting the PCs inside the cover of The Sea Queen Escaped! “wets” your
appetite for more. If you dig this sample of Jim’s work, stop by mudpuppycomics.com for a lot more of
his stuff and a lot of laughs to boot!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Those of you who read my
post NTRPGCon report know that a little beastie I whipped up, “The
Upside-Down, Inside-Out, Thing That Should Not Be,” was illustrated in gruesome
detail by Jannell Jaquays as part of the Artists’ Panel. It was a very popular
depiction.

At the moment, there’s a vote going on over at the NTRPGCon
website to choose one of the illustrations created by the artists to be
reproduced as a miniature. Right now, Jannell’s picture is smoking the
competition, but I’d really love to see the “Not Be” become a 3D figure I can
use to terrorize my players. If you’re a member of the NTRPGCon forums and
haven’t voted yet, you can stop in and vote
for the “Not Be” right here. In interest of fairness, you might want to
take a look at the other four illustrations on the slim chance that you think
one is actually cooler than an upside down monster with eyeballs on its feet,
its organs on its outside, and a big gaping mouth with a spine for a tongue. Those
can be found here.

Your continued support for the bizarre is very much
appreciated around these parts!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Goodman Games added the third
printing of The Dungeon Alphabet to their “Coming Soon” lineup today, and I’m
passing the word along to you fine folks. To celebrate both the book’s selling
out twice and winning the Three Castles Award last year, Goodman Games and I
are proud to present you with a new and expanded printing of the old girl. Here’s
what GG has to say:

The
Dungeon Alphabet compiles inspirational tables on classic dungeon design
elements to assist the game master in creating subterranean challenges.
This third printing adds eight new topics to the existing twenty-six for
thirty-four tables of inspirational materials.

A is for Altar, B is
for Books, and C is for Caves: the Dungeon Alphabet has advice, hints, and
randomized tables that bring new life to your adventures.

The entries are
accompanied by outstanding art from classic fantasy illustrators and are
compatible with all fantasy role playing games. This third printing adds Russ
Nicholson to the artist lineup, and also features new illustrations by Jeff
Easley, Jim Holloway, Peter Mullen, Michael Wilson, and Brad McDevitt,
including brand new endsheets.

In
addition to the regular book, there’s also a limited edition gold foil cover available.

This limited-edition gold foil cover features a
beautiful, thematic cover design by fan favorite Stefan Poag! The interior
content includes all the improvements of the expanded third printing of The
Dungeon Alphabet, including the addition of Russ Nicholson to the artist
lineup, and new illustrations by Jeff Easley, Jim Holloway, Peter Mullen,
Michael Wilson, and Brad McDevitt, including brand new endsheets.

With the additional content and art, The Dungeon Alphabet
increases size from its former 48 pp. to 64 pp. The “regular” book will retail
for $14.99 with the expanded content, which blessedly means the much-reviled “Nice
Price” faux sticker is gone from the cover. The limited edition gold foil
version will sell for $24.99. You can pre-order the book now at the Goodman Games website.

And since I already anticipate the question, no, I didn’t
make up new letters of the alphabet to expand the book! New entries include “P
is also for Potions,” “S is also for Stairs, and “T is also for Treasure Chests.”

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I had a revelation this week: I suck at self-promotion. I’ll
talk your ear off about whatever cool widget or book that’s coming down the
pike that has my attention, but when it comes to plugging my own work, I need a
PR guy. A media assassin. Harry Allen, I gotta ask him.

This satori luckily coincided with the fact that I did an
interview for Jennisodes to help plug
“Of Unknown Provenance” and the rest of my upcoming projects. I’ll provide a
helpful link once it goes live, but, in the meantime, let’s take a closer look
at “Of Unknown Provenance” and the madness behind the method. Maybe once you
see what’s going on in my head, you might be willing to help turn it from a
flight of phantastical whimsy to an actual dead tree thing.

First of all: provenance. It’s not a word that gets tossed
around a lot, so a definition is in order. In short, provenance is the chain of
ownership behind an item. In the art, archival, and collecting worlds, knowing
the provenance of something is extremely invaluable when determining its worth.
Was that painting owned by a dear friend of the artist? Was is purchased
through legitimate channels or did it just appear one day on the market without
documented ownership? Establishing a clear provenance is very important in
legitimate dealings and collecting, so already you have an idea that this
adventure concerns people, places, and things not at all concerned with how
they got their paws on the items in question.

When James approached me to participate on the project, his
orders were pretty loose. In fact, they boiled down to “do whatever the hell
you want if it’s cool.” Now, that’s a constraint I can work with! So with that
direction in mind, I started brainstorming. Do a dungeon crawl? No thanks, been
doing too much of that with Stonehell and I need to expand my horizons. Hex
crawl? Extraplanar adventures across time and space? Again, not really that
exciting for me at the moment.

The hackneyed old phrase in writing is “Write what you
know.” As some of you are aware, I’m an archivist by trade when not churning
out RPG books and it’s a career and institution that doesn’t get a lot of play.
I think that outside of the Nick Cage “National Treasure” film, I can’t recall
the last time either archivists or archives got a fair shake in popular
entertainment. And so, I decided to correct that.

Archives, like museums, are repositories of items and
documents with “intrinsic historical value.” They’re places to stash stuff you
want to preserve, but don’t necessarily want to lock away forever. A place to
keep the grubby hands of the everyman away the good stuff and let those
qualified to handle and appreciate it do so under controlled conditions. As
John Constantine once said about the British Museum, “It’s where they keep the
loot.”

As we all know, loot and adventurers go together like gin
and tonic, so the concept of introducing such a store house—combined with my
own experience in the trade—seemed like a natural fit. Riffing off that idea, I
started thinking about the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the GURPS
supplement Warehouse 23, and the Sci-fi series Warehouse 13. What red-blooded, greedy adventurer wouldn’t want a
chance at prying open some of those crates and seeing what might be worth
taking? OK, I think we’re on to something here.

James Raggi has also been charting a different course for Lamentation
of the Flame Princess as of late, setting-wise. From my view, he’s been moving
away from your standard pseudo-medieval fantasy setting and looking towards the
15th and 16th centuries, a time when rampant imperialism
and the subjugation of anyone unfortunate enough to live in an area possessing
value to those empires was commonplace. That tied into the concept of a
storehouse of esoteric loot. After all, once the caretakers of such cultural
artifacts have been exterminated, who’s left to keep their “quirks” under
control? Best to stick those things somewhere safe until somebody can puzzle
that out. I’ll also now break a cardinal rule of writing and design that states
you should always obscure your sources by saying that Blue Oyster Cult’s Imaginos album, specifically “Magna of Illusion” plays
an important role in defining my course for “Of Unknown Provenance.”

Those of you familiar with my Stonehell know that I’m very
big on modular design, and not what one usually means when referring to “game
modules.” I enjoy telling a big story, but I also realize that not everyone
wants to listen to the whole tale, preferring only to take the chapters that
interest them instead. “Of Unknown Provenance” will reflect that same design
philosophy. To accommodate that goal, I
found myself drifting back to the old horror/sci-fi anthologies of my youth: Tales from the Dark Side, The Outer Limits,
The Twilight Zone, Amazing Stories, Friday the 13th: the Series,
and even Freddy’s Nightmares. “Of
Unknown Provenance” is an homage to those shows, featuring a central adventure “plot”
(for lack of a better word) comprised of several smaller vignettes that twine
together to give the players multiple views of what’s happening at the Night
Archive. So, if you’re the referee and have no interest in the big picture,
there’s going to be lots to loot from this adventure. I’ll even provide the
dotted lines for you to cut along when you take out your mental scissors.

I’m still not settled on an “appropriate for PCs of levesl X
through X” for the adventure and won’t be until the fingers hit the keys and
start exploring the Archive, but likely this one’s going to end up in the “PC
sweet spot” of 6th-8th level.

You can hear me talk some more about “Of Unknown Provenance”
once the Jennisodes podcast goes live, but in the meanwhile, I hope I’ve given
you all a little peek at what to expect from the adventure. If this helps you
decide you want to make “Of Unknown Provenance” a reality, hop over to IndieGoGo and make a
contribution. My thanks go out to everyone who’s already contributed based
solely on my name and the thumbnail description I provided. Hopefully you and
the rest of the gaming world will get a crack at the Night Archive and
discovering why it’s the uncertain things that make life so interesting.

Monday, July 9, 2012

High art, this is not, but I know some referees will
introduce this particular bit of wonderworking into their campaigns with
tremendous glee. Think of it as a companion piece to my long-forgotten One Hundred Random
Ridiculous Magic Items Table.

This potent but specific spell cures a single character or
creature (including the caster) of all damage suffered from one or more wounds.
However, the injuries healed must be humorous in nature. Any injuries sustained
in a less than entertaining fashion are unaffected by this spell. Whether a wound is considered humorous is
left to the Labyrinth Lord’s discretion, but suggested comical wounds include
an arrow in the buttocks, a sharp blow to the genitals, injuries sustained from
custard pies, and other similar damage. If the majority of the players (not
characters) succumb to laughter as a result of the wound, it is also considered
humorous.

Cause humorous wounds
(reverse of cure humorous wounds)
inflicts a single injury on a creature if the caster touches his opponent and
the victim fails a saving throw vs. spells. The exact nature of the wound can
be determined by the Labyrinth Lord or by rolling on the table below:

1) Shot to the Danglies: Lose all actions for one turn
automatically. Each subsequent round, the target must make a save vs. paralysis
to recover. If the save is failed, the creature loses another round of action
as he/she/it groans in pain.

2) Hot Foot: Target’s boot/foot/hoof/etc. catches fire
causing them to hop about comically for 1d4 rounds or until they extinguish the
appendage. The small fire inflicts 1 point of damage each round.

3) Eye Poke: Woo-woo-woo! Target is poked in the eyes and
cannot see for 1d4 rounds. All attacks and saving throws are at a -2 penalty.

4) Mallet to the Head: A hammer of force descends upon the
target, smiting them upon the pate. If wearing a helmet, the basinet is crushed
and forced down over the victim’s eyes, blinding them until it can be removed
with a successful STR check. Target’s without helmets are stunned for 1d4
rounds and illusionary, tweeting birds circle the victim’s head.

5) Tongue Grab: A hand of force grasps the victim’s tongue
and yanks. A successful DEX check must be made to remain standing.
Spell-casters are unable to perform magic for 1d4 rounds afterwards.

6) Atomic Wedgie: An unseen presence yanks the victim’s
undergarments upward with great violence, reducing their movement rate to the
next lowest speed and inflicting a +2 penalty to AC. This effect lasts for 1d4
rounds or until the victim spends a full round readjusting their undergarments.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

There's been some talk going on in the ether about James Raggi's massive July crowdsourcing campaign. Some are sure he's mad, others believe he can pull it off. Me, I'm certainly hoping that the later faction is correct because I really want see the funky ideas I have for "Of Unknown Provenance" see the light of day.

So the question remains, and only my readers and fans can answer it: Are there 265 of you would plunk down $20 bucks for a printed copy and a PDF of "Of Unknown Provenance" and make the adventure a reality? You've got 25 days to make it happen. If it does, know that I remain deeply humbled and honored that you folks would give up the cost of a movie and snacks for me.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

James Raggi has kicked off a campaign to get nineteen
adventures for Lamentations of the Flame Princess RPG funded in the month of
July. The would-be authors of these works runs the gamut from industry
professionals, up-and-comers, and a few wild cards one wouldn’t expect to see
lending their names to a roleplaying game supplement.

One of the names that falls somewhere in that range is my
own. Provided the funding is achieved, I’ll be writing an adventure entitled “Of Unknown Provenance.” They say
write what you know, so I decided to use a forgotten, near-legendary repository
of items with intrinsic – as well as pecuniary—value as the adventure’s framing
device. It’s also my nod to certain anthology shows like Tales from the
Darkside and Friday the 13th: The Series. The teaser is as follows:

In certain
occult circles, sorcerers still trade tales of the Night Archive. Known as a
repository for artifacts deemed too perplexing or too dangerous for mortal
minds to safely comprehend, the Night Archive was a vault of wonders tended by
the devoted few who dedicated their lives to the custody of the macabre and
inscrutable. But history, like the weird inks that stain arcane grimoires, is
prone to fading and the Night Archive slipped into the mists of legend.

Now, as the stellar wheel turns above and the sign
of Herthas rises once more, rumors spread that the location of the Night
Archive is again known by Man. The fate of its collection and the caretakers
charged with its keeping remains a mystery, but for those who deduce the
vault’s location, a treasure trove of magic surely lies for the taking…

I’m really looking forward to penning this one, so please,
if you’re interested in seeing it brought to life, consider kicking in to help
fund the adventure. While you’re doing so, check out the rest of
the adventures currently up for funding and see if they also pique you’re
interest. Both I and the rest of the authors would be extremely grateful.

Who's to Blame

Despite having never been a professional adventurer, Michael Curtis has nonetheless deciphered cryptic writings, handled ancient maps and texts, ridden both a camel and an elephant, fallen off a mountain, participated in a mystical rite, and discovered the resting places of lost treasures. He can be contacted at poleandrope @ gmaildotcom