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How to Give the Best Maid of Honor Speech Ever

So your BFF (or sister or cousin) asked you to deliver a wedding toast. And because you love her to pieces, you want to make it fabulous. Here’s how.

1. Explain why guests should listen up. Tell them not only who you are, but why they should care. For instance, “I’m Melissa’s best friend since grade school, and I know a few things about her relationship with Brad that you may not know.” An opening line that leaves a little mystery can get guests to pay close attention to what you have to say.

2. Tell a story. Like a good book, speeches should have a beginning, middle, and end. Even if there isn’t one particular anecdote that’s worthy of taking up the entire toast, make sure there’s a logical sequence to your speech. A trick I like to make your speech feel whole: Present an idea right from the start and circle back to it as you approach the finish line.

3. Get personal, but not too personal. A maid-of-honor toast should give guests info they didn’t already know, but would want to know. Something good to share: At my friend PJ’s wedding, her brilliant MOH, Marianne, told everyone about how she and PJ, way back when, listed out all the positive qualities of the guys in their class, and PJ’s new husband, Ryan, came out on top. Something not good to share: Past sexual exploits. Exes in general also should be off-limits.

4. Talk about the couple, not just the bride. That’s another reason Marianne’s speech was so great: She didn’t ignore the groom. Granted, she knew him nearly as well as she knew the bride, but even if you’re far closer with the lady in white than the guy in black (or navy or gray), don’t let on. Do some research (my bridesmaids who toasted me at my wedding chatted with my sister and other friends) and acknowledge both guests of honor.

5. Make it funny. Some of you may disagree with me on this, but speeches that are 100% sentiment and 0% humor put me to sleep. Still, you shouldn’t fill your toast with jokes that will only make sense to you and the bride. So if you’re not a natural comic, think about the speeches you’ve heard that made you laugh. It may be as easy as weaving in one slightly embarrassing anecdote (emphasis on the slightly--you don’t want to make the guest of honor feel downright humiliated!) and having it relate to how far the newlyweds have come in their relationship.

6. End with a sincere wish. Remember: You’re toasting the couple, so you should say something to prompt all in attendance to lift their champagne glasses. Here’s a good opportunity to circle back to an idea you presented in the beginning of your speech. For instance, maybe you talked about the moment you knew the couple was falling for each other. You can end it with, “May the two of you always be as giddily in love as you were when [fill in the blank].”

7. And one more thing: Keep it short! Two - three minutes is a perfect speech length, if you ask me. Shorter, and your audience feels a little ripped off (unless you really are that skilled at succinct writing). Longer, and the guests will hate you for dipping into their dancing time (if they’re not already nodding off).

Any other MOH toast tips to share? Why did the best MOH speech you ever heard stand out to you? Anyone out there about to give an MOH toast?