Wil Wheaton has some stellar advice for any kid out there who has ever been picked on or bullied or called a nerd.

The Star Trek: The Next Generation star was sitting on a panel at Comic Con in Denver last summer when a young girl took to the mic to ask him this question: “When you were a kid, were you called a nerd and how did you deal with it?”

The actor’s response, which is quickly going viral thanks to a video from the event, was thoughtful and heartfelt. Here it is, in part:

“When I was a little boy I was called a nerd all the time because I didn’t like sports, I loved to read, I liked math and science, I thought school was really cool… and it hurt, a lot. Because it’s never okay when a person makes fun of you for something that you didn’t choose. We didn’t choose to be nerds. We can’t help it that we like these things, and we shouldn’t apologize for liking these things.

I wish that I could tell you that there’s a really easy way to just not care, but the truth is it hurts…. When a person makes fun of you, when a person is cruel to you, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not about what you said, it’s not about what you did, it’s not about what you love. It’s about them feeling bad about themselves. They feel sad. They don’t get positive attention from their parents. They don’t feel as smart as you. They don’t understand the things that you understand….

I will tell you this: It absolutely gets better as you get older. And I know it’s really hard when you’re in school and you’re surrounded by the same 400 people a day that pick on you and make you feel bad about yourself. But there’s 50,000 people here this weekend who went through the exact same thing and we’re all doing really well.

Don’t ever let them make you feel bad because you love something they decided is only for nerds. You’re loving things for you.”

So well said. If you watch the video in its entirety, you’ll see that Wil’s response shows compassion not just for the bullied, but the bullies as well. It’s sad to know that young girl needed to ask the question in the first place, but hopefully the fact that he took it so seriously and spoke so thoughtfully on the subject gave her some comfort.

Wil isn’t the only famous face to have been the victim of bullying… see which other celebrities have spoken out…

I don’t want to bubble wrap my kids – well, maybe just a bit – and I know that the high school social hierarchy is something we all go through. But there have been too many headlines about kids children committing suicide because they’ve been the targets of bullies. One headline would be too many. I talk to my girls a lot about this topic, about how it feels to be both the bully and the bullied. Next time I do, I have a feeling I’ll be borrowing from Wil Wheaton’s advice.

Kudos to the little girl’s parents who bring her to “nerd gatherings” where she can ask those questions (I’m assuming this was some sort of comic, trek or gaming convention given those are the events who book Wil Weaton). When I was the nerdy kid, the power of knowing that there are situations where I would be considered normal was HUGE.

Kids don’t get much ability to be selective about their associations, but knowing that when you’re an adult and you have those choices that the option of hanging out with people like you will eventually exist was comforting to me, at least.

Cara

Why are there lots of bullies out there? They must come from abusive homes to be abusive themselves or probably are neglected, lack attention at home so they act out in school. If it is not a genetic predisposition like behavioral or anxiety problems or anger management issues, depression, neurosis even borderline psychosis, I just find no other reason why there are kids like this who go out everyday to the world to intentionally torment another human being. This is definitely a learned behavior that gets worse over time if remained unchecked. I just watched a movie about Paul Potts. This man is a brilliant opera singer but he was bullied as a kid up until to his adult years, it’s mind boggling. Plus those listed above are some of the greatest artists of our time, what the hell. Education must start at home, reinforced in school and further strengthened by sports/athletics. I really appreciate the anti-bullying education my kids school has put in place. It approaches bullying wholistically, it is put in place not only to help the victim but also help the aggressor because surely something is amiss at home.

Leah

@Cara #3 I have to disagree. Most bullies are just straight up a$$holes who feel entitled to act however they want toward people because they can. In my experience as a former teacher, none of the bulies I dealth with had anything amiss at home, except for parents with the same a$$hole attitiude.

Will’s response was lovely.

Lucy

Very good response from Wil, but I absolutely loved Justin Timberlake’s way to put it “what they were making fun of is what will make you sexy as an adult”. I love it. So so true. Being average is never attractive, but being your own self and living being who you are will for sure feel appealing to the right people for you. It is sad that during some years, being smart or liking certain things are simply an easy target, just like body image, because during the rest of our lives those things really don’t matter in such a negative way. Every time I hear the terrible news of teens or kids taking their lives over bullying my heart breaks thinking that in just a few years it would be all over and they would shine…. The system and the parents across America need to make those years more bearable, it is their responsibility to take care of the young, help them enjoy life through all stages. It is just not fair otherwise.

Nancy

I agree woth Leah. They don’t just come for a hard home life. They come from entitlement and power that they have not learned to harness correctly. Like the power to speak up for yourself. Some kids have it at a very young age and that gives them power over others who are not as outspoken. They haven’t learned that pushing that on to others is not ok and that they can use it in different, better ways. There is always a bully. Sometimes as hard as it is to see, it does make people stronger having gone through it. Though I will point out I do not wish it on anyone.

Natalia

I was never bullied at school (thank God) but I had friends that were bullied for years. I felt I had some kind of immunity. Bullies were afraid of me (Maybe my i-dont-give-a-f**k-what-you-think-of-me attitude??) and I would use that to protect my friends and other girls, but it never stopped. EVER. There were always new bullies, new people, new reasons to make fun of them.
Now that I am a mother, I am afraid my kids will get bullied, I don’t know exactly what my parents taught me to not care and live my life, to be strong. I wish I knew. I also wish we could find a way to stop the bullies.
I told my daughter that mean kids are mean because their parents are mean to them, but I don’t think that was the best thing to say. (She is 4 now) What do you do when bullies are multiplying like fleas?

@Leah, Do you think that if the parents are a-holes then the kids will become bullies? Were those parents bullies too? If that was the case, do you think it is possible to break the cycle?

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