I really do not know what to do with my 17 year old step-daughter. Caught drinking again. Second time we have caught her, I really hope my wife comes up to bat this time and ground this child till she is 18. I am tired of her just coming and going and doing whatever she wants.

Well this time I found out where the party was and have the police involved. Since I do alot of work for them I am wanting ever kid at this party parents involved. It was at a house and the parents in theory are out of town. I hope they punish this kid or I am going to press charges.

Jeeze man, between steph's puppies and now this, you can't catch a break lately! Maybe she's lashing out because of all the attention steph got during her illness?

Hope you guys can work it out man, but I was a bad kid at that age and I turned out okay (just ask pq). My dad was always waiting for me with some early morning housework when I went out partying. Cleaning a 100* garage with a hangover taught me a few life lessons

Yeah what sucks is some of the parent of the people at the party are like they are kids that just what they will do. I am like WTF, what if we where all at the hospital watching a sheet pulled over your kids head.

They are more worried and mad that the police are involved and that there kid may get questioned by them. I almost wish they would lock them all up for a weekend and scare these kids straight. Then they tried to pull the guilt game on me how I ruined my daughters senior year since everyone in school is going to hate her.

Well every action has a reaction, this is the second time we caught her and god only know how much she has done we do not know. Personal I hope her moms keeps her grounded for a long time so this kid will learn. Unfourtanetly she is already posting on Facebook how she can't wait to go off to college next year and get away from us.

should involve the school also, probably a 0 tolerence for anyone on the school sports teams. Let em learn the hard lesson early when it doens't matter as much. Plus they can step on the drug n alcohol information lessons.

Id also inform social services of the parents who think its no big deal.

Even might see if the local media wants to get involved.

All 3 of those will make seme hate you even more but you may stop a future drunk driver who kills someone or a whole family.

Scott I know your pain!!! My second daughter was the same way and to make it worse, when she was 15 she would ask to stay at a friends house whose mother was a teacher at our school. I would call to make sure the parents would be home and they would say yes so off she would go. I didn't find out until almost 2 years later that this friends mom and dad were supplying booze and pot for all the kids (they through teenage partys EVERY weekend). Any way, she was grounded alot and I always tried to explain why it was wrong to be doing this and I always thought it was in vain but once she graduated she decided that she was moving out because she no longer wanted to live by our rules. I helped her move into her new home and 3 months later she told her younger brother, "What ever you do, stay at home as long as you can and follow mom and dad's rules, this really sucks having to pay for everything, I don't have any money left over to do any thing like I did at home!" With in 6 months after moving out she told us how sorry she was for all those years of putting us through all that and that she finally gets what I had been telling her. That was over 10 years ago and she has a 5 year old son and a daughter on the way due in December and we get along GREAT!!!! Keep doing what you are and give her love too, she may not seem like it but she really does like you to show her love even though you feel like you are at each others throats all the time. Get her through school and then make her get out into the "real world" where she has to provide for herself!!!! She will wake up fast!!! Oh, I always made my 3 kids have a job @ 16 years old and two of them actually had a job at 15 and my son did a lawn mowing service with his friend at 13 and continued that through 16 when he got a "real" job as he stated it. Keep your chin up, it will work out in the end when she is grown up.

Ok, I can tell your frustrated. If your wife isn't going to help you then your hands are tied.

I do remember that the worst feeling in the world is to sweat alchohol. If it was me I would make her sweat alchohol every time she did that, such as yard work, weeding flower beds, car waxing, cleaning the garage, or sweeping the driveway.

I remember a friend of mine that hauled hay with us on a hangover. We thought he was going to die. At least he made is seem that way.

Good luck man, Raising kids is tough.

__________________

"My hair's turnin' White, my neck is still Red and my collar is still Blue"

I really do not know what to do with my 17 year old step-daughter. Caught drinking again. Second time we have caught her, I really hope my wife comes up to bat this time and ground this child till she is 18. I am tired of her just coming and going and doing whatever she wants.

Well this time I found out where the party was and have the police involved. Since I do alot of work for them I am wanting ever kid at this party parents involved. It was at a house and the parents in theory are out of town. I hope they punish this kid or I am going to press charges.

That sucks, and you're right to be worried. But keep in mind, this too shall pass.

Keep doing what you're doing. Out here in Kansas there was recently a local tragedy when a couple "cool parents" were throwing a party and a ton of kids were there and drinking. The parents let some kids LEAVE (yes, drinking and driving) to go pick up another kid and on the way back, the driver (drunk) missed a stop sign and smacked nose first into an embankment on the other side of the ditch (on the other side of the road), flipping the SUV. The kids weren't wearing seatbelts and the driver was Dead on the scene, a second one didn't get out of the vehicle in time as it burst into flames and died, and the two others that some other kids DID manage to get out are still pretty messed up. I haven't heard what happened to the parents, but I imagine that they're in some serious legal trouble.

My kid isn't "out of the 'chute" yet, but my wife and I are already committed to being good parents, not necessarily the "cool' parents. Relay this story to your kid if you want. Sometimes, they need to see/hear what happens when they don't want to act responsibly.

Yeah what sucks is some of the parent of the people at the party are like they are kids that just what they will do. I am like WTF, what if we where all at the hospital watching a sheet pulled over your kids head.

They are more worried and mad that the police are involved and that there kid may get questioned by them. I almost wish they would lock them all up for a weekend and scare these kids straight. Then they tried to pull the guilt game on me how I ruined my daughters senior year since everyone in school is going to hate her.

Well every action has a reaction, this is the second time we caught her and god only know how much she has done we do not know. Personal I hope her moms keeps here grounded for a long time so this kid will learn. Unfourtanetly she is already posting on Facebook how she can't wait to go off to college next year and get away from us.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Mark Twain

Here's another quote I like, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience" No matter what the other parents think, you'll be able to sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing. And your daughter WILL appreciate you for it later, as she matures. Those other kids will walk all over their parents for the rest of their lives...

there is a big differance between being the cool parents that throw a big party for the whole senior class and let them drink thats over the top... but not letting your daughter out and sheltering her and ruining her social life if a little over the top too IMO i would try to find a place in the middle i mean really what do you think shes going to do in college? be home by 11 every friday and saturday night probably not..

Here's another quote I like, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience" No matter what the other parents think, you'll be able to sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing. And your daughter WILL appreciate you for it later, as she matures. Those other kids will walk all over their parents for the rest of their lives...

Since i still consider myself young, and i'm sure plenty of you do too i'll share my comments:
Does she do well in school? participate in extra curricular activities?

i knew plenty of kids in jr high and high school that smoked* and drank but still did well in school. they did everything they needed to, and used those as tools to relax and cut loose (i'm not saying they were justified or right! but they definitely didn't throw away their lives like most after school specials portray)

Personally i was working full time my senior year to help pay bills back @ home. the economy hit my family hard as well as health issues and i juggled all that with school. I'll openly admit i was drinking at that age, it wasn't right but it helped forget about everything that was going on. I'd known coke & drug dealers since i was 12/13 but never did any drugs or even smoke a cigarette. I viewed drinking as a much lesser evil.

I'm not trying to say its 'ok' because she could be doing worse things...but if she's handling the rest of her life as well as an adult can while the drink socially on the occasion - than i wouldn't spoil the last year of high school for her (punishment is definitely due though, don't get me wrong - lying + breaking rules = be held accountable) i think i would have handled it a little more 'in house' though. a lot of people say 'thats what i did at that age', doesn't mean you should stand by and let it happen - punishment is due, cause + effect.

hint/tip of advice: the chicks i knew that grew up under the strictest households were the ones that broke out & let loose more than anyone.

**All in all, every person/kid is different, depends how you were raised and who you are. If driving under the influence is involved in any matter you are ALWAYS justified in taking action*

My personal experience with this situation is....
My parents were the same as you and all that did was make me hide it better... Now on the other hand my other friends that parents allowed them to drink at home underage turned out to be much more responsible drinkers and had a much closer relationship with there kids and friends.

Calling the police is way over board and has really made her look bad to her friends. Your actions are doing considerable damage to your family. Learn to relax and let her experiment because she going to do it anyway. She not out selling her body or drugs so relax. I would be ashamed of myself for hurting her like that. Big deal she got boned up.