24.1.11

i didn't care...

This past week has been really awful. Not for me...thank my Jesus for that. But for someone I dearly love. This person has been through unimaginable heartache and pain, and they are stuck in a situation that due to their circumstances and the "unfairness" of life, they cannot get out of on their own. It's also a situation that could cost this person their life...both physically and spiritually (emotionally and mentally as well). I am not allowed to share what has been going on, but I can say that there is a young person out there right now who desperately needs to know they are loved both by God and by others. PLEASE pray for this person. My heart is SO heavy for them.

Lately I find myself having more compassion for people and what they are going through than I used to. To be perfectly honest, when things in my own little world were easy and perfect before having a hard time with my sweet baby boy, I really didn't always care when friends or family were hurting. A lot of times I just judged the situation without even knowing what was going on. It was SO very wrong of me, and I hate that it took my own brokenness to realize the brokenness of others.

I don't know why it is so easy to become immune to the pain of others, but I do know that it is not good, and definitely NOT a part of what we are called to be as Christians. And I am so sorry that I just stopped caring.

What is it about the world that teaches us to only be concerned with ourselves and our own lives? Why do we, even those of us who love God and try to live for Him, like to live in an alterate reality where nobody ever has any problems, any heartache, any difficulty, any anything that looks less than "together?" Never once in the Bible does it say that because we are Christians we will have lives without trial or tribulation. Never once does it say that we should ignore the cry of help from others because as Christians we should have our lives figured out. Never once does it say that we should act like we have our own lives figured out while looking down on others because they don't. Never once does it say that we should shut off all emotion, all compassion, all understanding for what others are going through.

I've been reading the Sermon on the Mount again (one of my favorite passages in the NT), and really pondering over what Jesus was trying to get across to His followers. The Beattitudes are way more than just a sugary ideal that a few of us should maybe try to live up to (one day). They really encompass what the Christian and his life should reveal. Unfortunately, my life has not always looked that way. But in a strange fashion, I am comforted by His words...that we are blessed when we mourn, when we are meek, when we are hungry, etc... Funny how the very things that leave us feeling "unblessed" at times are the things that we NEED in order to be blessed.

I am praying for more compassion. Praying that when I hear of a brother or sister in Christ who is facing a challenge, struggling in a marriage, suffering from a loss, hurting over lack of ___, drowning in heartache, or anything of the like, that I will look on them with LOVE and compassion and understanding, regardless of whether I actually understand what they are going through or not. I'm praying that when I say to them "I'm praying for you," that I actually MEAN it...that I get on my knees for them and ask God to heal them, comfort them, give them strength, and intercede on their behalf.

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I'm a stay-at-home Mom living in the south with the love of my life DH (darling husband) and beautiful son who has special needs. After completing my Masters in Christian Education and teaching, I am now a coordinator for a foreign exchange student program, future aspiring author, occasional freelance writer, and dreamer of one day being a long-term missionary. I love reading, cooking, learning how to live healthier, and talking about my faith.