Stuck in Limbo

Hi. I am so torn right now . I feel like the devil is on one shoulder and the angel is on the other.
I am so consumed with suicidal ideation, i'm screaming inside..but nobody is listening.
I just keep taking painkiller meds and diazepams. I would rather feel numb or like a zombie than having to deal with these conflicting thoughts all the time. Suppose the thing is, right now....... The negative thoughts are winning.

I know those thoughts. And it seems like it won't stop unless you go through with it. that is not true. The thoughts will stop. I don't know when or what you will have to go through before they stop. But you can do it. You can keep fighting. There is hope, even if it is covered by clouds right now it is still there. You can do it! Even if all you can do is survive that is okay. Surviving takes a lot of energy and I won't lie to you it is not easy but you can do it.

Hi Angel! I am glad you posted here instead of acting on your thoughts, that is a great step. I am also on diazepam (30mg a day), it helps me so much, it is like a miracle medication to me but be careful not to get addicted to it. What are you on the painkillers for? Do the meds drown out your thoughts? Keep talking to us here, we care a lot. Sorry for all the questions but I assume you are seeing a psychiatrist, can you make an appointment as its needed since you are suicidal. Keep hope alive is my motto! Good luck.

I am so sorry to hear that you are in pain. We care about what you are going through. Please do not give to your dark side. We really care as you can see in the posts of support for you. We all struggle but please be strong for us and keep posting your thoughts.

Hi. I am so torn right now . I feel like the devil is on one shoulder and the angel is on the other.
I am so consumed with suicidal ideation, i'm screaming inside..but nobody is listening.
I just keep taking painkiller meds and diazepams. I would rather feel numb or like a zombie than having to deal with these conflicting thoughts all the time. Suppose the thing is, right now....... The negative thoughts are winning.

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Hey, I'm doing the same thing. I think i'm going to get hooked on Diazepam soon. I don't know what I'd do without it.

I can't offer advice as I'm. In the same boat. Limbo in my room just wishing I had someone trustful to trust.