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20.1.18

* Dear Blog...Why have I been absence *

Hello all! First of all I want to say Happy New Year, even though it is super late! My last post was back in October 2017!! that is so bad of me!Now I know I have been absent from blogging for a few months now, even social media, especially twitter. I want to tell you all why I have been away and why I'm planning on returning slowly to my blog! back into blogging.

So you may have seen that I have not written or posted anything since back in 2017. You might have noticed I completely disappeared from the blogging world. The truth the past couple of months I just haven't had the energy or even any good ideas of what to write about. I know I'm not the only blogger who has gone through this either!People who know me, know that I struggle with writing and composing my writing. My posts, even just a short one, can really puts a downer on me and makes me feel like I'm a failure. I know I shouldn't think like that, but at times I can't help but let it affect me. The trouble is my Anxiety. Yes I hold my hands up, I do suffer with Anxiety, I know a lot of people who suffer with it as well and they all know how it feels when it just hits you out of the blue.

When it happens it really makes me not want to write one word, all I want to do is just hide in my bed and wonder why I fail. This can be before I even try! Now I know it sounds like I moan at times but I'm being honest about how my anxiety can make me feel. I think I owe you all an explanation as to why I have been absent as well. Currently I am still active on my Instagram but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking, should I post this will people like it?YES! I should. However, after my photos have been edited and just before I get to press publish my mind goes into overdrive!

I want to be honest and say that I'm jealous of so many people who I follow on social media. As well as some people, that I know outside of the internet, seeing how far they've come. The amount of followers and success they have gotten, doing what was a hobby at first, and now seeing their hobby as a full time job. I am so happy for them all of course. It makes me wonder a lot, how can I be like them. I start asking myself what I am doing wrong and then the anxiety starts again. These feelings, this illness, it is the main reason why I have been absent and I wanted you all to know.

But...I also want to update you all with what has also been happening while I have been away. What I have been doing. But like I said before, if you follow me on Instagram, you may already know this first one.

⚫I got engaged - 30th October 2017

So I now have a lot of wedding planning to do as we are planning on having TWO! yes TWO weddings, one in USA and one back in United Kingdom. So that is double planning and I will be sharing my progress and ideas with you all.

⚫ Planning about moving to USA

Joey has asked me to move to America with him and I told him I would go, but with the time coming up so quickly I'm starting to get really scared and nervous. There will be plenty more on that to come.

⚫ Visited Harry Potter Studios

Now I have been wanting to go here for awhile and Joey also wanted to go, so we decided that with some holiday I had from work we would go and treat ourselves. We both loved it!

⚫ Started getting back into Jogging

So I have started a lot more exercising. both to get out more and save money by not paying for a gym I started jogging. Plus Joey loves it so it's just another thing we can enjoy doing together.

⚫ Seeing a lot more of my friends

With me moving later on in the year I have been seeing more of my friends,even though they will come to visit!

I hope this post has helped you understand why I have been away and why I have been disconnected for a few months. I'm coming back into blogging slowly so please don't expect a post each week but I will try my best to get one out when I can. I will also be working to control my Anxiety so it won't take over me.

I think it's great you are getting back into blog, but hopefully this time for the right reasons and with a far more positive mindset. Stop comparing yourself to bloggers like myself, we're in it 4 years along the line and post quite regularly. Set yourself reachable goals like post once a week or something and build on it from there.