Still Breathing.

Month

June 2016

To those who follow and read my posts, I apologize for being gone so long. Life took a moment to pick me up and shake me around, and everything has been hectic. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure I was going to come back at all. I hit a low and didn’t have the energy to even get out of bed. I won’t really be going into extreme detail, but I will explain a bit.

First and foremost, my depression whipped around and hit me with ferocity. There was no specific reason, it just came back. I had convinced myself a long time ago that I had control over it, not the other way around. It seems I was very, very wrong. If you’ve ever dealt with depression or anxiety, you know how suffocating it can be at times.

Of course, this would be the time for everything to start inexplicably falling apart, right? My employers began cutting my hours down to nothing due to a mandatory pay raise over the whole company. I was barely able to pay my rent, let alone other bills. By the end of it, I was hardly scheduled at all. I mostly just came in to “help out a bit.” As I’ve mentioned before, the job market around here is terrible, and I was stuck between jobs for almost a month. We got behind on all our payments, and the stress level has risen to the max.

BUT.

We’re making it. I found a new job. I have to bust my ass to make up for the lost time, but I’m okay with that. To survive, you do what you have to. Above all else, we tell ourselves it will be alright, because it will eventually. Penny scraping doesn’t last forever. One day we’ll get a good night’s rest. Most importantly, our son has his whole life ahead of him. If everything we do, we do for him, and we do it as a team, then it will inevitably be alright. And that’s what really matters.

I finally opened my email today and saw I had a bunch of messages asking me to keep writing (along with my husband also telling me to), and it gave me that boost of encouragement I needed to get back on here. So thank you guys.

Shortly before I went on my little “vacation,” I had also started up a YouTube channel. I managed to get a couple videos up before I ran into “technical difficulties” (i.e. I had to sell my camera…). I will be trying to post more, though, once I get my other camera situated. The channel will be a bit different from what I post on here. A bit less dark, mostly.