17 Puffer Vests & Gilets For The Discerning Dag

As the weather starts to turn chilly down under, us Australians live in a brief state of denial because we’re not going to be beaching it every day, at least for a few months. Miserable commuters shuffle through puddles in the street still wearing Havaianas in some sort of vain attempt to remember warmer times. ‘If I dress like it’s still sunny it might make it real’. It’s a demure affair.

No Winter accessory says ‘What snow? I’m not even that cold’ through chattering teeth quite like a puffer vest. Also known as a gilet, though giving it a name can’t be healthy, the puffer vest is quintessentially symbolic of the antipodean spirit of disbelief in the weather’s ability to get properly cold, and in this writer’s opinion, what’s wrong with current society.

From Paddington pub-goers to people who push prams through Balmain, and, for some reason, motivational speakers, there’s not a single cool person who’s ever donned one of these garments, and no matter how much big-name labels and department stores push them, they’ll never live up to the style and warmth of their long-sleeved brethren.

Now don’t get us wrong, we get that these things are toasty AF, and that as one of the few countries to experience the hybrid season of Sumtumn, when leaves go brown and the wind is icy, but the sun still delivers a UV factor akin to sub-Saharan Africa, there’s a need to be warm, but not too warm. They tick a box, sure.

But horses for courses; it’s never okay to fang one of these over a suit, (neon) orange is not the new black and turning up to dinner looking like you’ve just been fishing is never going to be in vogue. Even if you literally have just been fishing.

If you, like so many others, have little self-respect or harbour a desire to look like a total Derek this winter, we’ve compiled a list of our favourite gilets and puffer vests below to make hating yourself that little bit easier.

Superdry Polar Sports Puffer Gilet

This is a classic Superdry number; neutral colours paired with a splash of neon to draw attention to the fact that your girlfriend probably bought it for you and today was one of those awful days when she suggested you wear it.

Hackett AMR Lightweight Down Gilet

Ever find yourself thinking ‘I know I’m out of touch with society, but how can I let the rest of the world know?’ Why, a puffer vest with an Aston Martin Racing logo of course. Rest assured, not a single person who wears one of these actually owns an Aston Martin.

Viparo VE1 Vest

Probably the least offensive on this list, being that it’s made from an actual dead animal and not a slew of synthetic materials, and the fact that it’s black, this is the one to go for if you’re just dipping your toe into the waters of self-loathing.

Macy’s Weatherproof Vintage Men’s Pieced Plaid Vest

If you are a lumberjack, but you’re not okay, then here’s a hip garment for you. Great for those long Canadian days chopping down trees when you need toasty nipples but don’t much care if your arms get frostbite.

Hugo Boss Green Men’s Veon Quilted Vest

Likely to be worn by somebody who’s name is actually Hugo, and is a boss in the same way David Brent was technically a boss, this one will keep you warm between the shoulders while your staff quietly cringe when you leave the room.

Blue Harbor Cruise Gilet with Stormwear

Okay fair cop on this one; anybody who’s ever spent time on a boat trying to rig a headsail in freezing temperatures whilst copping green monsters over the bow can totally understand why you’d want one of these. It comes off when you get to shore though.

Polo Ralph Lauren Quilted Jersey Gilet

Moncler Maglia Knit-Back Quilted Down Gilet

It’s a pretty standard gilet affair, with the addition of a hood – large enough to cover your scone on a chilly day, but not quite big enough to hide your shame over the fact you spent $639 on a puffer vest.

RRL Shawl-Collar Linen, Silk, Wool, Cotton and Mohair-Blend Gilet

Kapital Shell-Trimmed Faux Shearling Gilet

The description of this sassy little number says that it ‘puts a futuristic spin on a workwear classic’. If this is the future then toss me overboard now. And how is this even remotely a workwear classic? What work is being done in this? Live target practice? I can only assume the price tag is in braille.