Polling Hangover? Ford Reaches Into the Cooler For Gimmick Policy

TORONTO—Under daily fire from new revelations of his ethical misconduct and increased scrutiny for having no platform, Doug Ford sprinted to the bar fridge for a policy distraction.

Borrowing a failed promise from Tim Hudak to help deflect from his very own mid-campaign meltdown, Ford’s Conservative team is promising cheap beer instead of explaining his expensive promises. At this rate, he’ll show up for Sunday’s leaders’ debate with a carton of smokes and a round of shooters for voters.