Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:40:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Mark Arbour
Subject: Chronicles of an Academic Predator- Chapter 26
Before you read this story, there are a few things you should consider:
1. It contains graphic descriptions of sex between men. In some cases,
these depictions may get kinky, and include borderline S&M.
2. It is set in the early 1960s, an era before the Civil Rights Act of 1964
when segregation and discrimination were the norm. African Americans were
referred to as Negroes or Coloreds, although the "N" word was offensive
then as it is now. I have retained the language of the era because it
reminds me how far we have come on race relations.
3. Be aware that the effects of inflation have been profound. A good rule
of thumb is to consider that $1 in 1962 is probably similar to $10 in 2008.
So just add a zero at the end of any number.
4. Some authors are good enough to create a mood through their words. I
need help, so I'll be posted recommended musical selections throughout the
story.
CHAPTER 26
Musical Recommendation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GjaE5YfkAU&feature=related
"All Alone Am I", by Brenda Lee
December 22, 1962
The phone rang five times before someone answered. Of course it
was Vella.
"Hi Vella, it's JP. Can I speak to my father please?"
"JP, it's good to hear your voice. When are you coming home?"
Vella was always so warm and enthusiastic. It was comforting.
"I should be there tonight. I'm planning to leave right after I
talk to Dad." She got the hint and tracked down my father.
"Hello son. Vella says you're coming home tonight. You'll make it
in time for our holiday party." Shit. They were having a party tonight.
The Saturday before Christmas; that made sense.
"Dad, I have some bad news." I bit back my tears, but my voice
cracked anyway. He said nothing, just waiting for me to go on. "Andre was
killed in Vietnam."
My father was quiet. He was very fond of Andre, had treated him
like a member of the family. I knew this would be hard on him too, but it
would be easier to tell him than my mother, or Vella, or anyone else. He'd
dealt with death.
"I'm so sorry JP. He was a truly remarkable young man. I'll tell
your mother and everyone else, and we'll help you make all the arrangements
when you get here." His voice was measured and strong but I could hear the
sadness underneath. Surprisingly that strengthened me immeasurably. He
was showing me the way. Toughen up and deal with the grief inside, don't
let the world see you crying.
"Thanks Dad. I appreciate that. I'm sorry to put that burden on
you." My voice was calm and steady now.
"You just worry about yourself. And speaking of that, brace
yourself for tonight. You'll probably walk into a festive party. Would
you rather just go down and stay at Tonto's?"
"No Dad, I think I'd rather just come home. I'll deal with it."
This would be quite the test, but I'd handle it.
"We'll all do our best to keep things light, but if it gets too
tough for you, just escape to your room." My father was being so
considerate; more considerate and thoughtful than I expected. I wonder if
he suspected how intense my relationship with Andre really was.
"Thanks Dad. By the way, I'm bringing my assistant home with me
for the holidays. His name is Jason."
"No problem. I'll let your mother know. Your friends are always
welcome." And then the call was over. I cringed when I thought about what
my father was going to have to deal with. I felt a little cowardly,
pawning the responsibility of being the messenger off on him, but I had
enough to deal with.
I went in and took another shower, a long shower, as if the washing
routine would wash away my grief. It was refreshing nonetheless. I
studied my face in the mirror as I worked on my hair. My eyes were
bloodshot from the lack of sleep, and the rims were red from crying. That
would never do. I'd have to get it together by the time we got home. I
methodically packed up the few things I'd need and went out to find Jason
all packed up and ready to go.
"I think I'm ready. Are you?" I asked him. He just stared at me,
dumbfounded. He'd never seen me put my shield up. He'd just seen it
already up. Last night he was dealing with a bawling nutcase, all rolled
up in the fetal position. Now he confronted the usual JP Crampton, calm,
cool, and collected. If I could fool Jason, I could fool the world.
"Sure," he said.
I tossed him the keys. "Think you can drive? I'd like to try and
get a little sleep."
"No problem," he said with a grin. Jason loved my new car almost
as much as I did, and the prospect of driving it for eight hours was a
present in and of itself.
The drive was long and miserable. Jason drove the entire trip
while I pretended to sleep. I think I actually did doze off a bit, but
most of the time I just sat there with my eyes closed. It saved me from
carrying on a conversation, and it helped me repair the damage to my
appearance all my crying had done. I tried to make a mental note of all
the things I'd have to do. We'd have to plan a funeral. Andre would want
to be buried in Claremont, since that was home. How did the military
handle the transportation of bodies? The thought of bodies almost brought
out the tears again, but I suppressed them and thought of something else
until they passed.
When we got to Columbus I "woke up" and started preparing Jason for
the world he was about to enter. I told him about my family and friends
more descriptively than before and told him about the party. I suggested
that he hit on Vivienne since she'd no doubt be there. Remembering that
Andre had fucked her this spring almost dented my armor, but I repaired it
quickly. Working through all this with Jason was good preparation.
Driving up Skyline, all the familiar sights just made me feel like
the world was closing in on me again. I had this intense urge to turn
around and go back, but that was just my emotions playing hell inside me.
I sneered at myself and my weakness.
We drove up to the house and Jason was impressed like all my
friends, but he wasn't crass enough to show it or comment on it. He knew I
had other things on my mind. There were cars everywhere. We parked the
Corvette in the garage and left our stuff there. We'd get it later. The
noise of music and conversation reverberated outside. If ever there was a
time I'd need to wear my facade, it was now.
We walked in through the kitchen and Vella immediately spotted me.
She came over and gave me a big hug and I introduced her to Jason.
"I'm so sorry JP," she said with compassion. I'm sure I'd hear
that phrase countless times tonight. I'd prepared myself.
"Thanks Vella," I said, smiled and moved into the party. So far,
so good. We headed for the living room, and I ran into Jeff. He had a
beautiful girl on his arm. She was the perfect height, with the perfect
hair, and big boobs. Her hair was almost the same color blond as mine.
"JP!" he said enthusiastically and hugged me. I wonder if the hug
was real or an act. "I'm so sorry about Andre." Condolence number two.
He had to know that Andre was the guy I chose over him. I wonder if this
was just re-opening old wounds for him. I prided myself on worrying about
his feelings, even now when I had so much to deal with.
"Great to see you Jeff," I said. I thought my voice sounded a
little hollow, so I put a little more punch into it. "This is my
assistant, Jason Strubbe." Jason shook his hand.
"This is my girlfriend Carol," Jeff said with just a hint of
nervousness in his voice. Girlfriend?
I shook her hand and told her it was nice to meet her.
"I'm so excited to meet you. Jeff has told me all about you!" Not
all, I bet. She babbled on. "How great to have you here on this special
day. Jeff asked me to go steady!"
I swallowed hard and tried to sound cheerful. "That's terrific!
Congratulations to both of you." I wasn't expecting that, and jolts of the
unexpected could destabilize my veneer. I quickly rushed reinforcements
into the gap. Jeff shuffled his feet nervously, his eyes looking
concerned. He could read me like a book.
"I have an early Christmas present for you," Jeff said. I looked
at him curiously. "Would you like it now, or on Christmas Day?" It took
me a second to realize that he had spoken perfect French to me.
I switched to that language. "You speak French? When did you
learn? That's marvelous!" How exciting to have something like that to
share with him. The fact that Andre and I used that as our special
language tried to emerge and ruin my mood, but I fought it down.
"Your mother has been working with me, and sometimes even Stefan."
Stefan? He'd been working with that little slut? I was shocked at how
jealous that made me, but I buried that emotion too. It was getting pretty
full inside my body, full of repressed emotions.
"Can you come see me tonight?" I asked him.
He looked nervous. "JP, I'm going steady now and I can't cheat on
my girlfriend."
"I don't need you as a lover; I need you as a friend. Please?" He
looked into my eyes.
"Of course," he said, and I smiled at him.
"I hear the word amour," squealed Carol. "You must be talking
about me. French is such a pretty language."
My mischievous streak emerged. I took her hand and kissed it with
a bow. "Dear Carol, you are so beautiful. It is a shame your brains are
not as big as your breasts." I looked up at Jeff and he was trying to
stifle his laughter.
"Why thank you kind sir," she said with a giggle, and Jason and I
made our excuses and moved on.
"What did you say to her?" asked Jason. I told him and he started
laughing so I punched his arm.
It seemed like the whole fucking town was there, and I greeted
people and introduced Jason as I made my way across the room to my parents.
They seemed miles away, like a safe harbor I'd never reach. Finally my
mother spotted me and rushed, well, moved quickly but gracefully, to us.
"JP! How fabulous that you are home!" She gave me her standard
affectionate greeting, and then spotted Jason. "And you must be Jason.
You are welcome here. Please make yourself at home." Jason beamed back at
my mother, with her legendary charm and poise.
"You are holding up OK?" she asked me in French.
"I'm trying mother. So far so good. How about you?" I needed her
now. I found my irritation with her for making me a bastard had faded, and
now I was almost able to completely departmentalize it.
"I persevere, like we must. We will have more time to talk
tomorrow. Tonight, let us do our best to enjoy ourselves." And with that
she moved off to tend to her guests while I advanced to see my father.
He gave me a big hug, the kind I was getting used to from him. I
liked the warmth and love he emanated. "JP, you look great. I'm so proud
of you for holding up so well."
His compliment was like manna from heaven. "Thanks Dad," I beamed
at him. Then he was off too.
I spotted Vivienne over by the bar and nudged Jason off in that
direction. I continued on through the room to where Tonto was chatting
with some of the other 'town ladies.' She saw me coming and excused
herself from her little group.
"JP, baby, how are you doing? I'm so sorry about Andre. You know
I'm here for you if you need me." There were tears flowing down her face.
Tonto was never good at hiding her emotions. Unfortunately, crying is
contagious. I swallowed hard.
"It's tough Tonto. Really tough. But I'm going to make sure that
his funeral is homage to what a great guy he was." I felt liquid in my
eyes. Damn.
Tonto guided me off to the side. "I'm sorry JP. I didn't mean to
upset you. You go back out there and pretend to enjoy the party, and I'll
stop crying, OK?"
I smiled at her. "It's a deal". She smiled back at me.
"One more thing. I know Andre was a dear friend of yours. I know
you well, probably better than most, and I think he was much more than a
friend in your eyes." She saw the stunned expression on my face and put
her hands on my arms to stop me from arguing. "I'm not judging you, or
accusing you, I just want you to know that if you need someone with some
extra, uh, understanding, you can come to me. I love you no matter what."
She had guessed that Andre and I were lovers, or that I at least wanted us
to be. That was the only way to interpret that statement. I felt a tear
fall down my face, not because of Andre, but because of the love she was
showing me.
"Thanks Tonto. I love you too. You're the best. But dammit, stop
making me cry!" Then we both laughed and returned to the party.
After that I just mingled around, wandering over to the food, then
to the bar, then to talk to people, then back to the bar. I went to the
bar too many times, and found I was getting pretty drunk, so I got a coke
and stepped outside in the frigid air to sober up.
I heard footsteps and turned to see Stefan walking out to join me.
I felt comfortable around him now. I felt like we had found a niche to fit
our friendship in. He came up to me and gave me a big hug. A long hug
too, but that was just Stefan.
"It's cold out here," I said.
"I came out to warm you up," he said, and made me laugh.
"You are such a slut."
He fired right back. "Yes I am, but I am a good slut." He became
serious. "I'm sorry about Andre. I know what he meant to you."
"How do you know that?" I challenged, probably a little too
aggressively.
"I am not blind. I saw the pictures of you two in the condo. They
were the first things you put up when we got there. And just the way you
talked about him. You are not so hard to read JP, once a person gets to
know you intimately."
Now that was a disturbing statement, but I just blew it off. "So
you've been tutoring Jeff with his French, eh?"
He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "I have, but I have been a
good boy. Besides, I'm afraid if I made a wrong move he'd break me in
half." I laughed at that.
"Probably would. Well, I'm cold, I better go back in." I made to
move off and he grabbed my arm.
"JP, I like our friendship, but I liked our romance better.
Sometimes a little physical release helps the pain, no? Keep it in mind."
And with that he turned and went back in.
After that the party was pretty much a blur. I found myself acting
like a robot, walking around making small talk. Jason seemed to be making
good progress with Vivienne, so I walked over to the two of them.
"Vivienne, how great to see you!" I hugged her and kissed her on
the cheek. I then turned to Jason. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought
I could show you your room. That way if you need to go to bed, you'll know
where to go."
"That's OK," said Vivienne. "I have to go to the bathroom anyway."
I looked over to the other bathroom. The door was closed. "Well
why don't you walk with us? There's a bathroom in the guest room and it
won't be occupied like that one." Jason smiled at me, wide-eyed.
"Why thanks JP, that's so thoughtful of you," Vivienne said as she
put her arm through mine and allowed me to guide her to the other side of
the house. I got to the guest room and left them there, making some excuse
for bailing so quickly. I smiled to myself. Maybe Jason would finally get
to fuck a girl. And boy would Vivienne be surprised when she got his pants
off.
I headed back to the party, but it was breaking up. I found my
mother. "I'm going to bed." She nodded.
I then walked back to my room. All this walking was wearing on my
legs, and it dawned on me that I'd been standing up all night. I walked
into my room and collapsed on my bed, only to find someone else in there
waiting for me.
"Hope you don't mind me hanging around here waiting for you. I
took Carol home and I didn't want to go back to the party, or wait outdoors
in the cold for you to finally go to bed," Jeff said in his matter-of-fact
voice.
I moved over and snuggled up to him like I usually did, my cheek on
his chest. "I told you you are always welcome in my bed," I chided. I
loved feeling him beneath me. I sucked strength and stability from him.
It was like a battery that gets charged up. Even if he was fully dressed.
"How are you holding up?" he asked me.
"Better now," I said smiling up at him. That seemed to make him
nervous. "Your friendship is a rock for me. You make me strong, and you
help me center my emotions." That seemed to resonate better.
"Andre, the guy that died. He was the one you stayed in Chicago to
be with, wasn't he?" I could feel the sadness in his voice.
"Yes. I'm sorry Jeff. This whole thing must reopen that wound
that I created. It's wrong of me to lean on you." I moved to get up but
he held me in place.
"It's OK. You just lost the person you love most in the world. I
know he was, because you picked him over me." He said that with a smile.
He was actually joking about it. God I love this guy.
"Thanks Jeff. The competition was pretty tight you know." He
laughed. "When Andre went away, and we were a couple, we had an agreement
that our relationship wouldn't be monogamous. That way, we wouldn't have
to deal with jealousies and allegations. What I will regret for the rest
of my life was not being straight with you about that, but at least I don't
have to feel that guilt when we bury Andre." He kissed the top of my head.
"Tell me about him. Tell me about Andre." I looked up at him
surprised.
"What? Why?" That's like me asking him about Carol. Come to
think of it, I might just do that.
"He was very important to you. I just want to know what he was
like."
"Andre was tall, dark, and handsome in a French kind of way. In a
lot of ways he was like you. He reeked of masculinity." Jeff sniffed his
underarms and I smacked him. "Not like that you idiot. He was all man, no
question about it." I can't believe I'm lying here talking to Jeff about
Andre and I'm giggling.
"He was always the life of the party. I'd have stayed home most
days but he'd drag me out and make me dance, or whatever. And he was a
wolf. I was always going home alone, while he went home with some girl.
He embraced me and my family, treated us as his own, and we embraced him
right back."
"Kind of like me," he said.
"Yeah, just like you. And I fell in love with him, just like I
fell in love with you." He didn't say anything, just stroked my hair and
my back.
"We really didn't have that much time together as a couple. We
didn't really get together until June, and then after that we only had two
brief weekends together. And one of those cost me you." I felt him tense
up a bit.
"Was Andre gay?" he asked.
"I don't think so. He told me that he loved me despite my dick."
Jeff snaughed at that. "And when we were together he kind of avoided it."
"Didn't that make you feel weird?"
"It kind of bothered me. Being with him was not so much about the
sex; it was just about expressing love. It's hard to describe. Does that
make sense?"
"Yeah, actually it does. He sounds like a great guy. I guess
hearing about him I don't mind coming in second place as bad."
"The only reason you came in 'second place', if you want to call it
that, is because he had seniority." That made us both laugh. He leaned
down and kissed me gently on the lips and I melted into him. I needed him
so bad. In no time at all the kiss had become passionate, and I was hard
as a rock. Then I did something that really surprised me. I pushed him
away.
"Jeff, more than anything I want to be with you. I want to feel
you inside me, feel your love flow into me." There was lust in his eyes.
Damn this was hard. "But I asked you to come here as a friend, and I'm
going to need you, desperately need you, in the future. Especially over
the next few days. If we make love, you'll feel guilty that you cheated on
Carol, and you may just blame me for it." I saw the lust in his eyes fade.
"You're right JP. Thanks for being so strong."
"Now, I want you to know that if you come here on your own, of your
own free will, and you make the moves on me, I'll fuck you till your dick
is sore." That got a big laugh from him.
"So what is it about Carol that makes you like her?" I didn't
really want to know.
"I don't know JP."
"You know," I challenged him, "you just don't want to say it."
He sighed. "You're probably right. I like having her on my arm at
parties. I like having her as my girlfriend at school. I like kissing
her. She's soft, and her boobies are pretty cool." He laughed and I
forced myself to chuckle with him.
"But you don't love her?"
He pulled me into him a little tighter. "No JP, I don't. I still
love you. But I made a commitment to her, I asked her to go steady, and I
owe it to her to try to make it work." He knew that logic was as twisted
as I did, but I didn't have the balls to call him on it.
He pushed me off of him and started to get up. "Can't you stay?"
I asked, pleading.
"Sorry JP, I gotta go." And with that, he opened the sliding door
and he was gone. I was about to collapse into depression, the loneliness
started to close in on me, when I heard the door open again.
"OK, now I'm here of my own free will. Seems to me that you
promised to fuck my brains out?" We both laughed as we took off our
clothes. In no time he was on top of me and I grabbed him, hugged him,
clinged to him like a drowning man grabs a life boat. My legs were wrapped
around his body, exposing my ass, and I felt his firm rod rubbing up and
down my crack. With each thrust it would slide across my hole, while his
pubic bush ground into my own cock. His lips locked with mine as we panted
into each other's mouths.
I briefly thought about moving my ass so his cock would slide in
but I changed my mind. I'd learned that sex with Jeff was great no matter
how we did it, and I had no problem just relaxing and enjoying what we were
doing at the time. His thrusts got more meaningful, and he had to take his
mouth off of mine because he was getting close. He moved his mouth to my
ear. "Oh baby, you're gonna make me cum. You know how to make me so hot.
I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum!" His words set me over the edge. Right
before I shot my first wad, he shot his, and I felt it splay all over my
hole. It was a glorious orgasm, a physical and emotional bonding of two
people who loved each other, and were both hurting for their own, different
reasons.
He collapsed on top of me, spread out over my body with his head on
my chest for a change. It was awesome. I ran my fingers through his hair,
across his cheek, down his back, trying to show him the tenderness that I
felt.
"I love you Jeff," I said.
"I love you too JP." he responded, and kissed my nipple. I
giggled.
"And now we need to talk about that car you gave me you sneaky
little shit," and he started tickling me. I giggled, and laughed, wiggled,
tried to get away. He wrestled with me and finally pinned me down on my
stomach. I felt his hard cock against my ass and I pushed up against him.
He was still wet from our last orgasm, and between that and the cum he had
shot on my hole he entered me effortlessly.
"You like that baby?" he whispered in my ear. All I could do was
moan and thrust back into him, reveling in the feel of being one with him,
marveling at the healing power of his cock.
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