Real Mad-to-get-rid as tears flow in Spain

They call it schadenfreude* in German – enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.

While Arsenal fans form an orderly queue outside North London dry cleaners, awkwardly stained slacks in hand and pre-prepared explanations on the tip of their collective tongues, it appears Real Madrid’s players and supporters have only just twigged how big a loss Mesut Ozil threatens to be.

From record-breaking striker to former sporting director, new face to old guard, golfer to tennis player, musician to film star…pretty much everybody associated with Los Merengues is mourning Mesut’s move.

With lips trembling and, in the case of Ronaldo, mascara running down his cheeks, here’s the reaction from the Spanish capital:

Cristiano Ronaldo: “The sale of Ozil is very bad news for me. He was the player who best knew my moves in front of goal… I’m angry about Özil leaving.”

Isco: “The truth is I was very surprised, and even more after he said last week he was going to stay. We all know Ozil has a lot of quality and is a player capable of changing a game.”

Alvaro Arbeloa: “Ozil said goodbye on Sunday but I thought it was a joke. There is nobody like him. It will be tough for the fans because they loved him.”

Sergio Ramos: “Ozil is definitely a unique team-mate and friend. We’ve always had this connection with him. I feel disappointed as the club have lost a great footballer but I don’t mind his decision to leave. His departure was his personal choice and everyone should decide their own futures.

Jorge Valdano (former sporting director): “If they gave me the choice I would put the Ozil-Angel Di Maria pairing before Bale. I would certainly put Ozil before Bale.”

Sergio Garcia (golfer): “How could they have let this happen – paying £100m to sign someone to replace Özil from a club nobody’s heard of? They are crackers in the head.”

Antonio Banderas (actor): “I cannot believe this. This is so not funny it makes Adam Sandler’s last movie look like Blazing Saddles.”

Julio Iglesias (singer): “This is a travesty. Özil is a supple magician with the feet of an angel. I am disgusted. I will begin by opening a can of whoop ass on Florentino Pérez.”

Enrique Inglesias (singer/prat): “This situation is made all the worse given Mathieu Flamini stole my mole.”

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newestoldestmost voted

dalehu

Arsenal to win the league?

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5 years ago

Eboue's Hairbrush

Sp*rs to finish 8th? Let’s hope so.

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5 years ago

Nick

If we are wishing, why not relegation?..and that Levy goes bankrupt, and their new stadium plan falls apart, Roman loses interest in the chav project, mugsmashers buy back andy caroll for 50 million, city primma donas all put in transfer request…

Well, a man can hope..

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5 years ago

jack jack jack

What about united? Can we not wish that, in a hilariously shambolic manner, they slowly start to self-destr…hold on a minute. Who’s been rubbing my lamp?

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5 years ago

Redondante

No – why would you want them relegated? How many 5-2 embarrassments would we miss? As for all the rest – I’m happy for other teams to be strong, it makes it more satisfying when we beat them. Who wants to support a team like Celtic, who could field 3 fans in their team every match and still walk their league?

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5 years ago

Bee

or is it more funny that spurs finish 1 point behind us every single year for the next 1000 years …. so close that they can taste it, smell it, dream it, but always a point behind …. cursing to themselves about that last minute goal they conceded against wigan, that it was so unfair about the incorrectly disallowed goal against liverpool, even perhaps, if only they hadn’t sold their best player year after year …

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5 years ago

Mohammed magajin tsakama

Ozil is the best sign for this summer and ozil is best player for real madrid last season

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5 years ago

Ali

17th is the worst i can wish for tottenham. I would miss watching arsenal kicking the shit out of them in the league

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5 years ago

Double Canister

Or how about Platini actually having a pair of balls and making FFP actually enforceable.
Kick City, Chavski, PSG, Monaco, Real Madshit, Barfa out of the UCL?
That’s my dream, Arsenal vs Munich or Dortmund for the top dogs in Europe for the next 20 years.

Good read, until the end where some statements are obviously fake, which leaves no other option than to believe all statements are fake, which makes the article totally useless and a waste of time

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5 years ago

Puhlease

Sorry mate, but if there’s no room if your world for a little humour, then it’s your life that you’re wasting and not just your time. Lighten up a little 🙂

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5 years ago

Dr Baptiste

Good read, until the end where you come across as having little to no sense of humour, which leaves no other option than to believe that you have no sense of humour, which makes your comment totally useless and a waste of time…..

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5 years ago

Bee

damn, i laughed at the article but then it turns out that my laughter was actually a complete waste of time 🙁

I feel sorry for madrid fans,but for once its nice to be on the opposite side of things,its not us crying this time, oh to be a gooner!!! I love my ARSENAL

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5 years ago

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

No. Never feel sorry for Madrid fans. They and their Barcelona hate-buddies have had far too easy a time being bankrolled by banks (Sorry!) since the 1950s. They always get what they want, until Monday. Laugh at them. Today we laugh with Atletico.

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5 years ago

Double Canister

Spot on GB.
And they new pay back the debt.

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5 years ago

The Mullet

Anyone else in favour of giving the world cup qualifiers a miss this weekend and cracking straight on with the league?

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5 years ago

Naija Gunner

In favour!

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5 years ago

Finsbury Park Gooner

Aye!

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5 years ago

Ali

You have my like

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5 years ago

Too Drunk To Be Offside

… and my comment

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5 years ago

Rufusstan

Carried Unanimously?

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5 years ago

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I cannot do that. I have to watch Germany to check out this unknown youngster Arsene Wenger tried to sneak into the squad while we were celebrating the signing of Viviano (Why does this make me think of The Young Ones????). Why does he always do this to us when he should be spending some fucking money on the finished article????

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5 years ago

Mace

Blogs just increased Sergio Garcia’s fans by a few mil.

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5 years ago

Lagos Gunners

To be fair, he’s sort of built to be a fan of…he doesn’t believe in training, smokes and drinks between rounds, has a really weird stretch routine to start off every game…the guy is a character.

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5 years ago

Graham

That’s Miguel Angel Jimenez.

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5 years ago

Steve of Chiang Mai

Could only be sweeter if Mourinho was still the Manager

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5 years ago

Tony Joseph

It wouldn’t have happened if Mou was still there, I hate Chelski and Mou, but he is not stupid.

Which ones are real? I’m so confused. You always reel me in blogs fair play. Never quite know when the article starts mucking about.

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5 years ago

Boogiegooner

Just pictured Flamini stealing a mole! LMAO

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5 years ago

Tapscotts Testicles

Steffan Freund:
The most useless cunt in a cuntpile of cunts, working for a cunt of a club, headed by the cuntiest of cunts Mr Daniel (I’m a cunt) Levy.

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5 years ago

heihaci

I love Sofia Vergara’s reaction. Ronaldo is welcome to join us if he is missing Ozil and now that Real Madrid is now our feeder club

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5 years ago

lonsdale

Despite knowing that he would have improved our team, I was still against Suarez joining as he is such a plonker.

Ronaldo, on the other hand… I think I could let that slide. Eejit he may be, but that lad can play football.

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5 years ago

Seemore

Arsenal have now become the club everyone wants to leave, to the club everyone wants to come to over night. Can’t wait until January, Cesc et al 😉

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5 years ago

arsesicky

cesc and ozil and santi???? deary me I just giggled out loud.

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5 years ago

masterofthegoonaverse

with rosicky to come on at 4-0

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5 years ago

paris

lol I bet that dimwit Suarez wishes he forced the move now…can you imagine the goals if he was here

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5 years ago

Tapscotts Testicles

I remember Freund as a player…he was a mixture of Gus Caesar, Igor Stepanovs and Pascal Cygan…..just without the same flair, star quality and of course, medals.

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5 years ago

DC

I think this one wins. An Arseblog special I think:

Sergio Garcia (golfer): “How could they have let this happen – paying £100m to sign someone to replace Özil from a club nobody’s heard of? They are crackers in the head.”

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5 years ago

Seemore

Sorry the club everyone wanted to leave. Oops

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5 years ago

Mrs. Gooner

Just wondering how many of us Arsenal fans will be watching the Germany v Austria match on Friday to see Özil play. If it’s televised, I will be 🙂

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5 years ago

masterofthegoonaverse

its on BT 2 at 8

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5 years ago

redman2112

Hahahha. Love the Arseblog!

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5 years ago

MJB

LMFAO!!!!!!
XD

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5 years ago

eddeeee

I’ve been buzzing since we beat the 110million Carlos Kickaball dicks! The addition of Ozil is magnificent and we can see by the reaction of team mates how good he is. Chomping at the bit to see him and Carzola. We have been through the austerity times at Arsenal. Every summer I demand a major signing of this ilk. Winter window- would like to see a promising striker bought in. No need to break the bank though.

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5 years ago

Johan

@Puhlease: I have no problem with there being humour in the post, just that I can’t distinguish what’s true from what’s not. The Valdano quote for example?

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5 years ago

John

The Valdano quote is legit – it’s been doing the rounds for a week or so now. Try googling it.

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5 years ago

Kola

The fake ones start from Sergio Garcia’s supposed quote.
C’mon, mate. Have some fun!
We all know Mr. Blogs has an incredible sense of humour.
Go, Blogs!

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5 years ago

arsesicky

humor out!

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5 years ago

richardanus

I think there’s something to the Placido Domingo quote as well. From what I understand he has turned all booking enquiries to sing the world cup song.

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5 years ago

TJ

Clever headline

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5 years ago

Dark Stein

I’ve spent the last two days randomly chuckling out loud to myself at the sheer amusement of the feat that Wenger and co somehow pulled off. I think it’s finally starting to set in how much we just spent on one player, and how much its absolutely & completely worth it. The enormity of this move and the implications for this season and also the coming years is slowly making its way around my brain, and I feel…excited, elated, rejuvenated. Fuckin’ COYG!

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5 years ago

Gunner_chica

Me thinks the ladies doth protest…….guess the saying is true “you don’t know what you got till its gone”, and now you have Bale………….HA Tottenham HA

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5 years ago

Alex X

I just hope he gets some decent protection from refs and the Shawcrosses of the earth aren’t allowed to kick him out of games with impunginty. He’s so damn fast and tricky the slugs prob can’t catch him anyway. PS what fucking extra pressure Bale is now walking into this could crush a person.

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5 years ago

shuggietodd

It’s the Jorge Valdano one which is most suprising/enlightening as it is genuine and well, hilarious!

Madrid’s former sporting director, Jorge Valdano, has also said: ‘If they gave me the choice I would put the Ozil-Angel Di Maria pairing before Bale. I would certainly put Ozil before Bale.”

I’m a bit deaf. I watch lips to understand what people are saying. I would never be able to follow a word she said.

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5 years ago

Hutch

Been reading your stuff religiously for the last few years and today, you made me spit out my Pepsi Max over the desk with this one.

Sheer class.

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5 years ago

Dr Baptiste

It wasn’t me but I think the thumbs down was for you drinking Pepsi Max….. ewwww

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5 years ago

Goonermonkey

Sergio Garcia (golfer): “How could they have let this happen – paying £100m to sign someone to replace Özil from A CLUB NOBODY’S HEARD OF? They are crackers in the head.”

Sergio is now my favourite Golfer. HAHAHA

Crackers in the head indeed.

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5 years ago

John

Looking forward to seeing these Sergio Garcia, ahem, ‘quotes’ in some newspapers tomorrow..

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5 years ago

heroldgoon

Schwazenegger: he’ll be back…

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5 years ago

heroldgoon

0/ wahey! those are some jugs!

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5 years ago

A Yank

Funny thing about the Isco quote (and not funny ‘ha ha’ like the made up ones at the end), but he doesn’t really say he’s sad to see him go or that he will be missed. That’s probably because Isco more than Bale is the reason Özil became expendable for Pérez.

Still can’t believe this all went down. Even more baffled that United had the chance to get him a couple of weeks prior and turned it down. So not only do we get a squad-transforming player, but United show themselves to be ‘tards.