Pointless, toxic, unrequited love can make us do crazy things: From texting that one person we know we shouldn't, to alienating good friends by our endless obsessing, to making those same friends turn off classic 1998 vampire action movies -- chasing someone who doesn't love us back unleashes our inner demons. And tonight, this happened to two beloved members of the study group: Jeff, and Britta.
No, tonight's Community was not a high-budget, high-concept genre piece like last week's war-doc "Pillows and Blankets." But it did bring many laughs, forward development in several characters' relationships, and a very positive message: Love yourself first, maaaan.
Interestingly enough, the first bit in the episode (And the episode's entire C-plot) was reminiscent of the unfortunate Community crisis that has been plaguing our nation for almost two weeks: Pierce (Or Chevy?) is a difficult human being, and he wondered why he didn't have a best friend like Troy and Abed. He was sad. Thankfully, Dean Pelton arrived (In a sexy train conductor's outfit, natch) with some good news -- a carnival was heading to Greendale!
Now normally, a carnival is great news: You have weird animal smells, impossible rip-off games, fried food, and jenky rides for $10 a pop. But for Britta, this carnival would bring nothing but pain: Her ex-boyfriend, Blade, was one of its carneys. "Some things are funny because they make no sense," Annie laughed, along with everybody else. "And that is not one of them."
See, for Britta, Blade was one of those aforementioned pointless, unrequited lovers: And if he was back in town, her token willpower would crumble to pieces. Her solution was a seemingly simple one -- one that has been used by countless men and women since texting was invented in the '90s or something. She would spend the weekend with a trusted friend, Annie, who would guard her hidden cellphone with her life. (And remember -- Annie owns a pistol.) "You are a pill-head," Britta pointed out. "So think of Blade as Adderall."
Of course, the name of Britta's ex-lover meant much more to Troy and Abed. "His name is Blade," Abed said. "Is that legal? Shouldn't New Line Cinema be suing him?" (No.) And with that, the boys set out to watch the (fantastic) vampire kickboxing movie, Blade. The only problem was, Britta was staying the night -- and hearing the word "Blade" every other second wasn't helping her resolve. Once Troy revealed that Britta's phone had been hidden in the refrigerator, she turned into a shrieking lunatic in dire need of a padded cell. "You're the opposite of Batman!" she screamed as they forced her into Annie's room. ("You don't know what that means!" responded a clearly wounded Troy.)
Eventually, Britta turned to deception in order to get her dirty Blade fix. She toyed with Annie's innocent emotions in order to get her phone back, but her plan backfired: Annie had switched Blade's phone number with her own, so every steamy, emotional, and/or pathetic text was sent to Annie, Troy, Abed and the Dean (more on that later) in the next room. Annie replied like a typical, emotionally unavailable d-bag in order to ward off Britta's crazy obsession, but Annie's texts only made Britta want Blade more. According to Annie, Britta's codependent, self-loathing texts were troubling. ("Are you mad at me now?" "Fine! I guess you don't want to know our two-year-old!" -- Ick.) According to Troy and Abed, the only thing that mattered was that Blade was no longer playing on their television. Britta'd it.
After some humiliating phone calls involving Annie's man-voice and fake carnival sounds, Troy finally took action: He sent Britta a kind, affectionate text (that viewers were unfortunately not able to see) from "Blade", knowing that Britta would then back off. "Britta likes guys who are mean to her," he said. "She doesn't like herself."
Then things took an emotionally gratifying turn: Britta walked out of the room, perfectly pleasant and clearly over Blade. "It's over now," she said. "He's a loser." Troy, who undoubtably spilled his true feelings in the oh-so-secret text message, looked defeated. "Goodnight," he said, as he sadly marched to his "bedroom."
Meanwhile, Jeff set out to chase his own unrequited love: The love he didn't have for himself. Did that make sense? Anyways, Jeff went to the carnival to see what it was about Blade that made him so irresistible to women. Shirley came too, but she just wanted to go on the rides. "He's not as good looking as you," Shirley said when they finally laid eyes on ladykiller Blade. "I wasn't fishing for that," Jeff replied. (Clearly, he was.)
But even though Jeff set out to see what it was about Blade that made him so irresistible, he walked away with much more. When Britta learned who she had actually been texting with, she ran for the door -- only to meet Jeff, who was (hopefully) forever changed from the night's encounter. See, Blade had finally let him in on his secret: He was brain damaged. A runaway carnival bolt had lodged into his brain, rendering him completely unable to experience shame. "He has nothing to prove or disprove, about himself or to himself," Jeff said. And that's what constantly going after unavailable people is all about -- ego, self-hatred, and shame.
"We can't keep going to each other until we learn to go to ourselves," Jeff continued. "Stop making our hatred of ourselves someone else's job, and just stop hating ourselves." His message was received loud and clear by Britta, who took a second glance at "Blade's" loving text, and then knowingly looked right at Troy -- with a happy, healthy smile. Of course Annie and Jeff also made goggly eyes at each other, but that's to be expected.
Over in C-plot land, Pierce decided to adopt Chang as his new best friend. Unfortunately, this was a painfully unfunny bit in an otherwise chock-full-of-smart-humor episode. They frolicked through the carnival to the beat of happy music, fought over nothing, and that was pretty much the end of it. Is this why Chase is so angry with Dan Harmon, or is Pierce being shuffled to the sidelines because fans (And, arguably, the cast and crew) want him there? Did he ever add much to the gang? Questions for the comments section, folks.
Oh, and it should also be noted that John Goodman's Vice-Dean made a brief appearance, pressuring Pelton to lure Troy to the air-conditioning repair school. This didn't really go anywhere, but it gave Pelton an excuse to crash the sleepover. "Dean, why are you here?" asked everybody. Good question.
Follow Shaunna on Twitter @HWShaunna
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Like the seemingly generic location at the center of the movie The Cabin in the Woods has a purposefully familiar exterior. But it's a facade and in the film's first few minutes writer/director Drew Goddard draws back the curtain to unveil an innovative and unexpected world. The setup is simple: five twenty-somethings head for a vacation in a lone shack upstate but when they arrive things quickly take a turn for the worse. The run-of-the-mill supernatural antics aren't simply for our amusement — there's another force behind the scenes orchestrating the quintet's demise for a bigger purpose. The mystery behind those horror movie tropes is Cabin in the Woods's clever twist a riff that's wickedly funny and endlessly fulfilling.
The first people we meet in Cabin in the Woods aren't the soon-to-be-terrorized young folk but two technicians Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford) who coordinate the Cabin's entertaining mischief. They're like employees pulled out of Office Space susceptible to the same droll ups and downs of any job —their gig just involves murdering co-eds. They sit in a control room orchestrating each piece of their plan with well-placed hurdles (cue the creaky door!) and rehearsed extras (enter: mysterious gas station owner). If that screams spoiler don't fret; the who the what the where and the why are all kept secret unraveling in parallel and commenting on the routine horror plotline.
Goddard and co-writer Joss Whedon don't let the scary movie thread fall to the wayside painting their ensemble with colorful characters and great talent: despite being stunning creatures the perfect types for a serial killer to chase down with a a giant knife Dana (Kristen Connolly) and Jules (Anna Hutchison) are smart savvy and sharp (a tangible sign of Whedon's influence); Curt (Chris Hemsworth) and his buddy Holden (Jesse Williams) are big and brutish — but not without personality; and Marty (Fran Kranz)... loves weed. Only after they arrive at the cabin a whiff of pheromonal gas in the air do they transform into the archetypical horror characters. All according to plan.
Cabin in the Woods has its cake and eats it too simultaneously clicking as a terrifying horror film a cackle-worthy satire and a thought-provoking dissection of the genre. Alongside its send-up of the overplayed "cabin in the woods" mechanics are grander ideas. Why do we watch? Goddard evaluates every perspective but never in a didactic fashion. There's a fury of imagination in every scene every joke Goddard and Whedon's script taking every opportunity to push the concept to unanticipated places. Across the board all the actors are able to balance the unusual heightened realism with Hemsworth proving his knack for comedy and versatility as an up-and-comer.
Cabin in the Woods is non-stop fun from beginning to end concluding with a grand finale that no amount of spoilers could ever dilute. At SXSW I called Cabin "the most crowd-pleasing movie of all time" and while that may seem sensationalist I assure I'll be rewatching this one for a long time.
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S9E20: Even over a relatively short three week hiatus, Two and a Half Men has been making headlines left and right. Whether it's Ashton Kutcher's in-flux salary negotiations, creator Lee Aronsohn badmouthing female comedians or Kutcher nabbing the role of a young Steve Jobs in an upcoming biopic, the show has been in a constant state of feather ruffling. Now, the comedy returns — although, the real life antics may be more entertaining. Take it away, Ashton.
One Charlie Sheen Head (1 - 10 Points): Ashton, you were in this episode.
Two Charlie Sheen Heads (11 - 20 Points): Ashton, you landed a few jokes, but we can't stop thinking about good ol' Charlie.
Three Charlie Sheen Heads (21 - 30 Points): Ashton, you earned tonight's laugh track. Solid.
Four Charlie Sheen Heads (31 - 40 Points): Ashton, we're impressed. You've surpassed Sheen-level kookiness.
Five Charlie Sheen Heads (41 - 50 Points): Ashton, you're scaring us with classic levels of comedy. Charlie who?
That's that, now on with the Ashton Kutcher Two and a Half Men scorecard!
"Grandma's Pie"
1. "I think I'm just going to try and slip it in without her noticing."
Points: 5
We return to the densely woven narrative of Men via Walden's burning desire to see his girlfriend Zooey. She's been gone for three weeks (a decade in penis years, per Alan), and since her departure, he's formed a new software company with his ex-partner and ex-wife. Lots of news — and while Walden can't wait to get back in the sack with his lady, he's also living in fear of unveiling the truth.
In the wake of all the craziness that's gone down in the past few weeks of Two and a Half Men (Alan and Lyndsey's Moms are dating, if you missed that tidbit), a tip of the hat to the Ashton and the writers for slowing things down and keeping it classy. Walden's in mellow mode throughout the episode, a thinker rather than his occasional manchild self and his moments drinking tea with Alan are simple and clever. Much better than wrestling Patton Oswalt, surprisingly.
2. "On the plus side, she's sleeping with my ex-partner."
Points: 6
When Walden does get around to spilling the beans to Zooey, his British lawyer girlfriend doesn't handle it well. Can't blame her — Walden vomits the information out, attempting to cushion it with lame, comforting words that create more chaos. Walden doesn't understand why forming a business partnership with the woman who drove her car through the side of his house only weeks earlier is a bad thing. Zooey doesn't have the patience to let him figure it out.
Is it strange that I prefer Two and a Half Men's light-hearted dramatic moments peppered with jokes over the overtly goofy Alan plotlines? This is when I realize why hiring Ashton was a smart move. After nine seasons, Two and a Half Men could really have done anything and it chooses to (occasionally) play things straight. That's Ashton at his best.
3. "Good job old boy, you dodged the crazy girlfriend bullet!"
Points: 6
With Alan off mismanaging his motherly affairs, Alan continues to persuade Zooey that things will be fine between him and his ex Bridget. That it's all business, no feelings. Zooey doesn't buy it — mostly because Walden's the one who planted the seed in the first place — so the bumbling billionaire hatches a plan: they'll have a dinner. Zooey, Bridget and he will sit down and talk things out.
"Grandma's Pie" is a great display of what Men can do when it doesn't snowball out of control with scatological humor. Take the running gag of Walden exclaiming his inner thoughts just loud enough for Zooey to hear. Simple, silly and universally familiar. Whereas Alan's my-mom-is-dating-my-girlfriend's-mom-how-do-I-tell-my-sons?! thread is eye-rollingly absurd. Come back to Earth, Alan! If you were ever hear before.
4. "Let the assuaging begin."
Points: 8
At dinner, Ashton takes a back seat to a heated back-and-forth between Bridget (Judy Greer) and Zooey. It's a manipulation game, and Walden watches it spin out of control as soon as it starts. All he can do is say "yes," "no" and "where's the pot roast!?" Bridget is mostly positive when it comes to Walden and Zooey's relationship...minus the part where she suggests maybe the gorgeous Brit is in it for the money. Atomic bomb dropped.
This is the defining bit that Ashton haters are going to hate, Ashton defenders will praise. You wouldn't have caught Charlie Sheen playing middle man to two co-stars — his comedy was all swagger and stardom — but here, Ashton watches, baffled, as the two women in his life duke it out in a fury of funny. Thumbs up.
5. "OK, that's one approach...that stinks."
Points: 6
Tonight's episode doesn't end on a big laugh, but rather an intriguing proposition. To declare his love to Zooey and suggest the future looks bright, Walden asks his girlfriend (and her daughter) to move in with him. The two take up his offer, with the catch that Alan would really have to move out. Hmmmmmmm. Walden doesn't resolve this point the next time him and Alan have tea, but it's out there. It's real. You can tell, because Alan is getting the shivers.
Men has the chance to take a bold step. I say do it. Alan shacks up with Lyndsey. Walden with Zooey. Grandma with Grandma. A whole new dynamic ready for skewering.
Total Points: 31 - Four Charlie Sheen Heads!
Blame it on the long delay, my inclination to be too nice to Ashton Kutcher or my distaste for the random old lady romance storyline, but this was a solid episode of Two and a Half Men, a show most people think is burned out. After tonight, do you think the show should come back for a 10th season?
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It’s almost like Mad Men never left. The Season Five premiere of AMC’s renowned 60s drama signaled one thing: this series isn’t capable of going downhill.
We’re thrown about a year into the future judging by the birth of Joan’s baby, and we find the explosion of the results of the Civil Rights Movement, a married Don Draper, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce on the rise at the hands of Pete Campbell, Roger fighting the decline of business as he knew it, Lane failing to fight his own baser instincts, and absolutely zero Betty.
And while the term “Mad Men Movie” was thrown out as a joke when the network announced the premiere would run two hours, the episode actually feels cinematic. Production value aside, the structure of the episode with the bookends of crowds of African-American protesters, Pete on his commute to and from Greenwich, Conn., plus Megan’s big musical number at the center give the episode an even greater heartiness than we’ve come to expect from Mad Men. In essence, it was the perfect way for the series to apologize for its long absence.
“We were just laughing at Y&amp;R.” -Mohawk Exec
“Couldn’t have happened to a better bunch of bigots.” -Pete
The episode opens with no familiar characters - a bold move for a series coming off a 17-month hiatus, and an even stronger mark of its staying power. Instead of Don or Roger or Peggy, we meet a few creative peons at SCDP’s rival ad agency, Y&amp;R. Outside, African-Americans are protesting the lack of equal opportunity employment and the Y&amp;R lackies begin dropping water bombs on the protesters in complete disregard for their humanity or their rights.
This puts SCDP on top immediately for being the ad agency who’s not proliferating racial stereotypes and disrespecting African-Americans. First, the company took a stand on cigarettes, and now, they’re headed for promoting racial equality. SCDP is moving into the future, and we’re about to see who’ll be able to hang on for that ride. Roger thinks they should rub it in Y&amp;R’s face and run an “Equal Opportunity Employment” ad even though they can’t hire anyone, completely missing the point of the EEO movement and looking at it opportunistically instead. Lane advises against it because the company isn’t quite in the black, but Roger’s not known to follow anyone else’s direction.
“So when you’re 40, how old will I be?” -Don
“You’ll be dead.” -Bobby
King among ad men, Don, is finally turning the big 4-0 and while he seems determined to bury that fact, Megan is ready to celebrate it. However, her involvement in his age milestone is half the problem. In the office, she worries that the others think they fool around at work and at first, he’s fine with it. But when Megan throws him a surprise party with the help of her progressive, young, hip friends, her youthful vivacity generates a schism between them.
At the party, Megan is palling around with her young friends, artistic types and even one African-American, gay young man who draws commentary from the peanut gallery. The party is no simple soiree; it serves as a glance at the split happening in 1966 society. Burt Cooper is arguing about war and the cost of bombs with Peggy’s journalist boyfriend Abe, and Abe clashes again with Trudy Campbell when he brings up the terrible state of the country due to race riots and she laments the police’s lack of control rather than the inequality generating the violence. Roger comments that Don will never understand what Megan and her young friends are gabbing about, but that he can be sure it’s not him.
And when Megan finally stands up a delivers Don’s birthday present, an overtly sexual performance of “Zou Bisou Bisou,” Don feels the full weight of the young versus old age gap and becomes irritated. The party practically throws him into the Roger category, making him another old world ad exec who married his secretary. And though they’re more than that, it seems the pressure of his 40th birthday and the public nature of Megan’s sexual dance is too heavy for him to see that.
“Where am I supposed to conduct business?” -Pete
“In the crapper for all I care.” -Roger
We first find Pete on the train talking to one of his commuting buddies and lamenting the changes his move and the new baby have brought into his life. He never sees Trudy and she’s always in her robe instead of dressed to the nines like she did when they lived a fashionable Manhattan life. Now she’d like nothing better than stay solidly in the quiet suburbs, but Pete’s not so sure.
Meanwhile, at work, Pete’s the one bringing in the bulk of SCDP’s new clients and he’s not getting much respect for it - especially from Roger. In fact, Roger’s been hovering at his secretary’s desk and usurping his meetings with prospective clients, hanging onto the old world practices of smoky, boozy lunches and potentially losing business for SCDP, but more importantly, stealing Pete’s hard work. It’s an interesting dynamic because Roger can’t seem to get his own meetings, but he’s accomplishing little by stealing Pete’s since his skills are in the old style. But Pete doesn’t let this lie.
First, he tries a power play. He calls a partner meeting in his dank little office. He’s got Peggy and Ken Cosgrove reporting to him, he’s bringing in more new clients than anyone, and he has to entertain them in the conference room or his tiny office? Nope. He demands that Roger switch offices with him. Roger, of course, will hear nothing of the sort but knows that on some level Pete is right. His solution? Pay Harry Crane $1100 of his own cash to switch with Pete. And while Pete’s happy to have a better office, he didn’t get his real goal: power over Roger. But he has a second plan: he has Clara put a phony 6 a.m. appointment with Coca-Cola on his books to teach Roger a lesson - and Roger bites.
The world really has changed. We never thought we’d see the day Pete Campbell would get Roger Sterling running around in desperation, but it’s a new world and the Petes of the world are the ones who understand it. The Roger Sterlings are the ones facing an uphill battle. And we see just how comfortable Pete is when he tells his train buddies that he’s springing for a pricey in-ground pool before he even gets his Christmas bonus.
“Joan, he’s not going to allow you to work.” -Gail
“Allow me?” -Joan
Joan gave birth, but her husband is still overseas, so her mother is in the city to help with the baby. And in yet another instance of old world versus new world, Joan and her mother are at odds. While she’s exhausted taking care of the baby, Joan is going crazy not being at work. Her mother seems to think the job is all about money and since Mr. Harris is actually a Dr. Harris, there’s no need for Joan to work - except for the fact that Joan loves her job.
Her mother sees the ad SCDP ran about Equal Opportunity and assumes it means Joan is being replaced, a fear that Joan doesn’t share until she visits the office and meets the new girl they hired to help the other secretaries cover her job. After Megan holds the baby and puts pressure on Don for their own bundle of joy, Roger awkwardly holds the baby with a cigarette in his mouth, and Peggy refuses any interaction with the tiny human until she’s forced to take care of it and then awkwardly pawn it off on Pete (tiny glimpse of what could have been), Joan pays Lane a visit.
He asks for her help with the books, and she thinks she’s being eliminated, but of course, he says the office can’t run without her. Her hormones, lack of sleep and love of her job overwhelm her and she weeps when she realizes how much she’s needed at the company. And at the end of the episode, we see Joan and her mother working together to get the baby to sleep - perhaps a signal that her mother supports her return to work. Perhaps some old world stalwarts can become converts with the right push.
“I’d feel better if I saw to its return.” -Lane
Lane’s story is a bit of an odd element. It does attach via the racism angle because it starts when he finds a discarded wallet with $100 cash in his cab and refuses to allow the cabbie to see to its return, distrusting that the wallet would be returned with the cash. Lane’s also potentially dealing with money troubles, disallowing his wife to pay his son’s tuition bill or write any checks without his permission first. To top it off, despite Mrs. Pryce’s presence in the city, he can’t manage to keep his interest pointing in her direction.
It could be the stimulus of Megan’s “Zou Bisou Bisou” performance that riles him up, but when the wallet-loser’s girlfriend calls and Lane sees her picture in the billfold, he throws all caution to the wind, engaging in suggestive conversation and allowing himself to get excited about the woman coming to his office to retrieve the wallet. To his dismay, the wallet owner actually shows up and Lane keeps the photo of Dolores and stores it in his own billfold. His wife may be in New York, but he’s tasted freedom and it’s clear he’s not ready to be tethered again.
“Clients are right all the sudden? I don’t recognize that man. He’s kind and patient.” -Peggy
After bombing her first pitch to Heintz Baked Beans, Peggy is miffed. Her best idea goes completely to waste and Don doesn’t do his usual “we’re the experts” spiel to save it. Peggy’s angry, but Don sides with the clients, noting that after the year SCDP has had, they’re simply “making us work for it.”
The anger overtakes Peggy and she has an outburst at his party, complaining about having to work on Heintz over the weekend. The comment is smoothed over by a kiss from Abe, but comes back to bite her when Megan confronts her. Megan says she did just as much work over the weekend before breaking down into tears over Don’s disappointment with the party. Peggy, not realizing greater forces are at work here and that the issue is the overall office perception of Megan (thanks in great part to Harry Crane’s crass comments) and the pressure from Don, apologizes to Don for her comments suggesting that they were the reason he didn’t enjoy his party.
Megan goes home early and Peggy suggests that Don leave her alone, but Don retorts that Peggy knows nothing about Megan. What he really means is that she knows nothing about Don and Megan: they aren’t Roger and his wife or some other typical boss married to his secretary. When he meets Megan at home that becomes clear. After her anger turns into a sexual game, Don admits that everything - getting Megan hired at SCDP, letting her buy impractical white carpet - is because he loves her, wants her around, and wants to see her happy. We even learn that he shares the secret of his identity with her - something Betty only ever knew about because she snooped in his study. Megan and Don show up hand in hand the next day as a united front and while we can’t be sure it will last, it’s clear that Don Draper is legitimately in love and that, for the time being, he’s managing to put outside pressures aside.
“We can’t put one of them out front.” -Roger
The EEO ad drums up quite a crowd in the SCDP offices, with 20 or so African-American applicants arriving to seek out these supposed equal jobs. The problem is that while SCDP is stable, they have no funds for new hires. But, Y&amp;R is there to force their hand: the rival agency sends a tribal statue with an offensive, racist joke resume attached as the group is waiting in the lobby. They saw the joke gift and if SCDP doesn’t hire at least one African-American employee, they could be facing picketing just like their bigot rivals.
In response, Lane elects to hire a secretary from the pool. SCDP is getting even more progressive, whether they can afford it or not. The change in the makeup of the office is sure to bring all the latent race issues that past seasons have simply touched upon into the front and center of the office dynamics, which is risky territory. However, if Mad Men is anything, it’s a show that thrives on risky business.
How did you like the racially-charged season premiere? Do you think Roger will ever find a way to keep up with Pete? How long do you think Don’s happiness will last? Where’s Betty and what do you think she’s up to? Let us know in the comments or get at me on Twitter.@KelseaStahler

S2E10: Shameless is a wasteland of broken hearts, but no shattered dream hurt nearly as much as Fiona’s this week. Monica whipped into the Gallagher home like a reformed hurricane of motherly affection and she keeps it up just long enough to fool just about the entire family - even Fiona. But old habits die hard and it’s not long before hers drive the family’s hopes straight into the ground.
“I’m here. It doesn’t all have to fall on you.” -Monica
Monica is around, cheering up the kids, making them sack lunches and breakfast in the morning, but our audience buzz is short-lived because she soon finds Fiona’s precious squirrel fund and starts spending it on drugs, toys, clothes, and a brand new car. She’s all smiles, thinking she’s got this parenthood thing under control. But it can’t last long.
By episode’s end, she lets Carl drive her car while she’s hopped up on GHB and the cops throw her in jail. In just one episode, Carl goes from looking at her with hopeful eyes to staring at her like an insane stranger on the street.
Still, her spell lasts just long enough for Fiona to try to take Meg up on her offer to work as a manager at the club. Meg already filled the position Fiona is qualified for, the only opening requires come college or experience managing - neither of which Fiona has. When she asks her GED teacher about it, he tells her to reach for more and take business classes at the local community college. She prepares to enroll, convinces Meg that raising her family is akin to running a bar and sets her life in motion to reach some of its original potential. She even starts running again and when we see her standing akimbo on Lake Michigan with the Chicago skyline behind her, we start to believe she might really be able to do this. It’s all too crushing to realize that it’s just a pipe dream.
“My wife is in love with another guy.” -Steve
“Congratulations?” -Fiona
Speaking of pipe dreams, Steve thinks he’s bringing Marco to the states to be with Esti, freeing him up to be with Fiona. The moment he tells her and then nuzzles her hair is clearly breaking her ridiculous resolve - and her optimism about her mother’s help probably doesn’t hurt.
Steve’s plan seems simple enough, except when he goes to the shipyards to find the shipping container Marco is in, it’s not there. It’s amusing at first to watch them literally play Marco Polo to find him, but the result is a wild goose chase to find the missing illegal immigrant. And if the pressure of losing Marco being the exact factor that would cause Steve to lose Fiona wasn’t enough, Esti finds out what’s going on and threatens to call her father if Steve doesn’t deliver her secret boyfriend. Lip helps Steve track down the container - they think - but he tells Fiona it’s in Florida and when we find Marco at the end of the episode, he’s somewhere snowy - in a metal box with nothing to keep him warm. He may very well freeze to death if they don’t find him.
”Your dad?” -Lip
Mandy won’t return Ian’s calls since her dad bashed him for being the father of Mandy’s out of wedlock baby, or so he thought. Mr. Milkovich vandalizes the market where Ian works and he’s desperate for escape. Monica helps him try to enlist in the army, but they won’t take him until he’s done with school. When he can’t take it anymore, Lip tries to help by concocting a plan to plant a gun on Mr. Milkovich so he’ll get sent back to prison for violating his parole. They get caught trying to plant it, and the angry father almost kills Ian until Mandy shows up and demands he leave Ian alone: it’s “their” problem. Her father sometimes mistakes Mandy for her mother when he’s wasted. She says it’s no big deal, but it’s one of the more heartbreaking elements this series has ever included. Ian offers to help her get an abortion because they share a best friend (fake couple) bond, and he has a bake sale at the Alibi Room to do it. Thanks to Debbie’s web of lies, the crowd is plenty and generous.
“It couldn’t be me; I’ve had so many abortions the next one’s free” -V
She and Kev are trying to have kids, but it’s not working so far. She goes to the clinic and finds out the issue is hers, not Kevin’s. Instead of telling him, she flips out on him and lies, saying she never wanted kids.
It later turns out she was lying and she tells Kev and they make up. They agree to adopt a kid and in the process solidify the fact that they can never actually stay broken up for any reason whatsoever.
“Life’s too short, why not just give in?” -Jody
Sheila and Jody are awkward after their hookup, or rather, Sheila is. He clearly thinks they’ve touched upon something great - and I’m pretty inclined to agree. She distracts herself with her first real hospice patient, a former drug addict named Ruben. She struggles with him for a while, hoping he wants her to euthanize him (no go) and feeding him creme brulee nonstop.
Luckily, Jody comes in to help Sheila with Ruben, and he knows sign language so he finds out that Ruben wants to have sex with Sheila. Naturally, Jody is protective and instead of allowing the sexual request to be Ruben’s final wish, Jody gets him more drugs. Even after that, Sheila still won’t Jody stay in the house. She resists his midnight serenade and his midday caresses. I have to hope she gives in - the relationship is just too perfect..
“What did you think was gonna happen, Fiona?” -Lip
“I thought it would be different.” -Fiona
Lip comes home for literally a split second - just long enough to bail Monica out and make Fiona feel awful for believing something good might happen to her. He says she should have known Monica was full of it, but Fiona really,truly needed to believe it so she could achieve her own dreams.
In the most heartbreaking scene yet on the series, Fiona tries to wake up her mother and instead breaks down crying , kicking the washing machine, before pickup up the pieces Monica left in disarray. In one swift movement, she lost all the money they need for the winter and she lost her dreams. No matter how downtrodden she is, a part of the audience always believes she’ll do better one day and this set back seems to be a huge indication that that’s just never going to happen.
Will Fiona ever realize her potential? Can Monica be a good parent? Do you think Mandy’s potential abortion is right for her age and circumstance? Let us know in the comments or get at me on Twitter @KelseaStahler

S1E16: Once Upon a Time prides itself not merely on mystical storylines, but also on the sheer complexity of its characters. Throughout the inaugural season, the writers have delved into each character's back story, proving that even the most heinous villains weren't necessarily necessarily born evil. Not only does this concept make the characters more intriguing, but it also severely blurs the lines between good and evil, making each character's actions incredibly difficult to anticipate. After all, if evil isn't always evil, then good may not always be good. "Heart of Darkness" takes this idea and runs with it.
As Mary Margaret struggles with being blamed for Kathryn's death, her fairytale counterpart faces some internal struggles of her own as she plots vengeance against the Evil Queen. As of now, our fairytale heroes and heroines have always stayed on the path of righteousness, however, this story demonstrates just how easy it is for good to be swayed by evil. So while we readily believe in Mary Margaret's innocence, this episode challenges our allegiance by proving there's a dark side hidden inside everyone, even someone as pure as Snow White.
"Where are you going?" - Grumpy
"To kill the Queen." - Snow White
In the fairytale world, we're finally given a glimpse into what life's been like for Snow after she took Rumpelstiltskin's potion - the one that made her forget all about Prince Charming. But it isn't just her memories that have been altered, it's her entire personality. She's constantly irritable and downright mean to the seven dwarfs, which causes them to hold an intervention and help her to control her anger. She decides to take her aggressive behavior out on the person who's hurt her the most: the Evil Queen. But before she's able to carry out her plan, Grumpy convinces Snow to visit Rumpelstiltskin and ask for her memories back, hoping it will change her into the kind, caring person she once was.
"Evil doesn't always look evil. Sometimes it's staring right at us and we don't even know it." - Regina
Bound by her duties as the town sheriff, Emma is forced to arrest Mary Margaret for Kathryn's murder. And though Emma believes foul play is at hand, the evidence against Mary is compelling. Not only does the box in which the heart was found belong to Mary Margaret, but Emma also discovers the murder weapon hidden in Mary's bedroom, with no sign of a break-in.
Indeed, things couldn't look much bleaker for Mary Margaret, and the situation even dashes Henry's faith in Operation Cobra. However, August the mystery writer once again shows up at Henry's side and urges him to look to his story book for answers. It's then that August admits he believes Henry's theory that the stories in the book are real and that he hopes to one day make a believer out of Emma as well. With his faith fully restored, Henry steals Regina's keys to the town and shows Emma just how easily his foster mother could have planted the murder weapon in Mary Margaret's apartment without it looking like a break-in.
"Evil isn't born, deary; it's made." - Rumpelstiltskin
Back in the fairytale world, we discover that Snow's condition is something even the powerful Rumpelstiltskin can't fix. He explains that the only way to break the spell is with true love and since that's not something you can bottle, there's nothing he can do to help her. However, he knows the real reason she came to see him and offers her a way to kill the Queen: he presents her with a bow and arrow that never fails to find its target and instructs her to attack while the Queen is en route to her summer palace. He gives her the weapon free of charge, simply saying that he's invested in her future -- which is just cryptic enough to warrant suspicion.
But Charming also hears of Snow White's murderous plan and sets out to stop her. The only problem is, he has no idea where she could be, so he drops in on Rumpel for help. Just like he did with Snow White, Rumpel informs him that only true love's kiss can break the spell. However, he also reveals that if Snow does kill the Queen, she'll become just as evil as the person whose life she takes. Again: evil isn't born, it's made. But Rumpel is more than willing to help Charming in his quest - for a price. Rumpel offers to tell Charming where Snow White is in exchange for Charming's cloak. And since Charming is desperate and doesn't see the harm a simple cloak could do, he accepts the terms.
However, the task isn't as easy as Rumpel made it out to be. After Charming finds Snow and kisses her, she still remains on her path for revenge and ties him up to ensure he won't intervene. But being that he's Prince Charming, he manages to get free just in time to put himself in the crosshairs, taking the arrow for the Queen. This brave act proves that he's willing to die in order to save Snow from becoming evil, so she kisses him and this time it actually works. She's finally back to her old self with her old memories. But yet again, the writers won't let us bask in the presence of true love for very long. King George's guards interrupt their reunion and take Charming away, while Snow promises to find and save him - no matter what.
"You actually think I'm capable of that kind of evil?" - Mary Margaret
Knowing that she's in a great deal of trouble, Mary Margaret enlists Mr. Gold as her lawyer, and he's more than willing to come to her aid. And while he appears to have Mary Margaret's best interests at heart, we all know better. Nevertheless, she's running out of options and she's desperate for legal help.
For his part, David asks Dr. Hopper to hypnotize him to help remember his blackouts, in an effort to prove Mary Margaret's innocence. However, he recalls a latent memory of Mary Margaret as Snow White and her attempt to kill the Queen. Of course, David doesn't know this is a memory from a different life, so he automatically assumes she's referring to Kathryn, therefore squashing his faith in her innocence. After relaying this memory to a jail-ridden Mary Margaret, she's understandably hurt by his doubts, especially since she never doubted his innocence in this whole ordeal. Yet again, another misunderstanding comes between the pair, pushing these two star-crossed lovers even further apart.
"She is a woman who's had her heart broken and that can make you do unspeakable things." - Regina
But Mary Margaret proves that she's unwillingly to sit idly by and wait for her sentence to be carried out. Like her Snow White counterpart, she takes matters into her own hands. After finding the key to her jail cell suspiciously tucked in her bed, she makes a run for it. And while we know she can't go too far since no one seems to be able to leave Storybrooke, it will be interesting to see just how far she's willing to go to prove her innocence.
And in fairytale world, we see Rumpel's real motivation for nabbing Charming's cloak. He finds a strand of Charming's hair and combines it with the lock of hair Snow gave him in exchange for the memory-erasing potion. By combining the strands, he's able to bottle true love, making him more powerful than ever. And given all the trouble he's caused in the past, that's definitely not a good thing for either world.
Were you intrigued to see a different side to Snow White and Mary Margaret? Do you still believe Regina is behind it all? What will Rumpel do now that he's successfully bottled true love? Sound off in the comments below or get at me on Twitter @KellyBean0415.

Jay and Mark Duplass broke into the movie-making scene as part of the lo-fi movement dubbed "mumblecore." Films like The Puffy Chair and Baghead kept the action intimate the situations low-key and the dialogue off-the-cuff. As they stretched their wings and continued to evolve as with 2010's Jonah Hill/John C. Riley-starring Cyrus their roots were always planted firmly in the grit of realism.
Their latest Jeff Who Lives at Home is their most successful attempt to blend mumblecore sensibilities with mainstream techniques. The production value is amped up but the situation is still pleasantly simplistic; Jeff (Jason Segel) is a manchild settled in his mother's basement but with plenty of introspection existential thought and marijuana to get him through his days. His brother Pat (Ed Helms) is a retail pawn too obsessed with owning a Porsche to see that his marriage to Linda (Judy Greer) is crumbling. Sharon their mother with the basement is in her own rut. Still grieving after the loss of her husband Sharon's cubicle existence is shaken when an instant message from a secret admirer pops up on her computer.
The Duplass Brothers who also wrote Jeff weave their three story threads together smoothly thanks to a tremendous amount of heart the duo slathers on liberally. Jeff obsessed with the interconnectivity of the world (an idea sparked of course by M. Night Shyamalan's Signs) embarks on a journey to retrieve wood glue eventually sidetracked by a kid named Kevin—who he believes is part of a greater plan. His adventure eventually (and expectedly) crosses paths with Pat who sees his brother Jeff as nuisance and the worst kind of burnout. Together they track Linda—who may or may not be having an affair—and help each other to reflect on what the heck is wrong with both of them.
Much like their directing counterparts Segel and Helms too have been carving out their own unique identities in Hollywood each with blockbuster projects in 2011 (The Muppets and Hangover II respectively). But Jeff Who Lives at Home is easily the best work either have done on the big screen performances stripped of caricature or over-the-top behavior that are still wickedly funny. Helms with his straight-out-of-suburbia goatee captures the complications in trying to live that "perfect life " while Segel never settles for Jeff being a big-dreaming stoner stereotype. Their dynamic as they navigate the streets of Baton Rogue is always charming always troubling and always twisted. These two guys feel like brothers—a layered relationship that takes more than a written explanation to establish.
Jeff Who Lives at Home isn't perfect—the movie wanders along as an enjoyably simple character story before blowing up with Hollywood scope in the last stretch of the race—but the real treat is watching a spot-on cast do their thing for 90 minutes. The warm and fuzzy feeling rarely comes along these days and two watch Segel and Helms deliver it with such gravitas is a gift. Or a sign?

Orlando Bloom's wife has signed up as a global ambassador for Earth Hour 2012, which encourages the public to switch off their lights for 60 minutes on 31 March (12) to conserve energy and encourage sustainability.
The Victoria's Secret beauty and eco warrior has also promised to hold a free yoga class if 500 people upload videos onto YouTube.com stating how they plan to help save the planet.
She says, "I hope my first challenge inspires my friends, family and fans to make their own promise for the environment.
"This year I've made the commitment to reduce my footprint by offsetting all of my travel. If we all adopt simple practices like recycling, switching to energy efficient lighting or paperless banking then we can make a difference together."

S1E15: The essence of all fairytales involves risking everything in the name of true love. Whether it entails battling a few dragons or defeating an evil queen, the main purpose is to find that happily ever after. But unlike most story books, Once Upon a Time removes the damsel in distress factor and grants heroic acts to its female characters as well as its male ones. On this show, women are the dominant force to be reckoned with and continually provide most of the action for the entire plot. Thus far, this characteristic has mostly been seen in Snow White and the many obstacles she's faced in order to be with Prince Charming. However, it seems to be a common trait shared among many women on the show -- in both the real and fantasy worlds.
In this episode, we delve deeper into the background of Ruby/Red Riding Hood, who also isn't afraid of going after what she wants. Though earlier episodes showed us that she and Snow White were friends, we hadn't yet learned how the two of them met in the first place. But don't be misled, this isn't a simple tale of friendship. In fact, the episode offered an array of twists that left even the most savy Once fans profoundly stumped and concerned for their fictional friends. But that's the whole reason we love the show in the first place -- nothing is ever as it seems, especially when there's a big, bad wolf in town.
"This creature is more powerful than you could ever imagine." - Granny
In the fairytale world, we stumble upon Red Riding Hood having a romantic rendezvous at her windowsill with a boy named Peter - as in Peter and the Wolf. They discuss plans of being free and running away together, but since a dangerous wolf is terrorizing the town, an overprotective Granny won't let Red out of her sight. She even demands that Red wear her red cloak at all times since the color supposedly keeps the creature away.
The following morning, Red goes to check on the chicken coop and finds Snow White hiding there, looking for food and shelter. And since she's just recently on the run from the Evil Queen and her huntsman, her encounter with Prince James has not yet happened. Afraid to use her own name, Snow tells Red to call her Mary (like her real world moniker Mary Margaret) and Red offers Granny's as shelter for the time being. But as they retrieve water from the well, they come across the dead bodies of a hunting party murdered at the hands (or rather the paws) of the big, bad wolf.
This gruesome slaughter convinces the villagers plan to launch an attack against the monster, but Granny pleads with them to see reason. Having witnessed the wolf brutally murder her father and brothers when she was a child, she knows first-hand what this animal can do. The creature even scarred her right arm and left her in a pool of her family's blood. Its cunning and clever and knows no remorse, so she warns them all to hide and not try to go after it. But since Red knows killing the wolf is the only way she and Peter can be free to be together, she sets out with Snow to track down and kill the wolf herself.
"I didn't do anything to my wife." - David
Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, Emma is continuing with her investigation into Kathryn's disappearance. During questioning, David assures her that he never called Kathryn like the phone records suggest and since Emma, once again, doesn't sense that he's lying, she lets him go. But since the guilty party still remains unknown, she warns Mary Margaret that the town will be point fingers at her and David.
On their way home, they come across Ruby (Red Riding Hood), who;s just quit her waitressing job at Granny's diner in the hopes of experiencing new adventures. However, she seems to have absolutely no confidence in herself and no idea what she wants to do with her life, so Emma suggests she work as her assistant at the sheriff's office until she figures things out.
"When there's something I want, I'm good at tracking it down." -Red
Back in the fantasy world, Snow and Red begin tracking the wolf's pawprints and realize they eventually transform into human footprints, meaning the creature is half human. Furthermore, the tracks lead right to Red's window at the cottage, exactly where Peter was standing the previous evening. But Red knows Peter would never hurt anyone intentionally, so she confronts him about it. When he has no memory of the change, Red offers to stay with him through the transformation as long as he's chained up, and he agrees. However, there's one major flaw in this plan: he's not the wolf after all. Red Riding Hood is actually the beast.
Once Granny learns that Red is gone and Snow is impersonating her under the red cloak, she's furious, but not for the reason you would think. In fact, she actually fears for Peter's safety upon learning that Red had tied him up in the woods. Granny explains to Snow that their entire family is made up of wolves and that she's one too. Red began transforming when she was 13 years old, but the red cloak makes her transform back into her human self and forget anything she's done while in her wolf-state. So in an ironic twist, Granny was never trying to protect Red from the world -- she was trying to protect the world from Red.
And Granny was right to fear for Peter's life. When Snow and Granny finally track Red down, she's already killed her love. But before she can attack them, they throw the cape over her and she becomes herself again. Snow reveals the truth of Red's violent transformation and Red is stricken with guilt and grief. However, there's no time to mourn Peter's death since the hunting party is getting close, and Red runs away with Snow, leaving poor Granny behind to take the blame.
"I shouldn't even be here, I'm just going to screw everything up." - Ruby
In an attempt to get to the bottom of Kathryn's disappearance, Mary Margaret heads out into the woods in search of clues, but instead comes across David. He's in a trance-like state and keeps mumbling the words "I'm looking," staring right through Mary Margaret like she's not even there. But instead of following him through the woods, Mary Margaret runs to the police station to inform Emma about David's strange behavior, begging her to investigate. At Emma's request, Ruby tags along and actually proves to be quite an asset. She quickly tracks down an unconscious David, who, upon waking, has no recollection of anything he's done since leaving the sheriff's office the previous evening. And while it's doubtful he's suffering from a wolf transformation, this zombie-like episode has Regina's name written all over it.
Emma takes him to the hospital where they learn David experienced a "dream walk," which is apparently similar to a coma-like state. Of course, this immediately makes Emma think David could have made that phone call to Kathryn after all and that he just doesn't remember doing it. But with no substantial proof, she sends Ruby back out into the woods to look for clues. And even though she's completely unsure of her abilities to do anything right, she complies and finds a small chest with a human heart inside.
"Arrest me." - David
Realizing that a life of crime-solving isn't for her, Ruby returns to the diner, explaining to Granny that the main reason she left was that she felt incapable of doing the job as well as Granny does. But Granny confides in Ruby that she hopes Ruby will one day take over the diner once it's time for her to retire. Granny has complete faith in Ruby's abilities.
But things aren't looking as well on the Mary-David front. Given that there are no other people missing in town, it's safe to conclude the human heart belongs to Kathryn, unless the blood test results prove otherwise. However, Emma did manage to find fingerprints on the actual chest that don't belong to David - they belong to Mary Margaret. That's right, the sweet, innocent Mary Margaret is under arrest and looking to serve some serious jail time for murder. Of course, we all know this must be the work of Regina, but sadly our knowledge doesn't help Mary Margaret out of this mess. Once again, the writers purposefully show just how extensive Regina's power is -- talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Were you surprised Red Riding Hood was the wolf? What do you think will happen to Mary Margaret? Did anyone else seriously miss Mr. Gold's presence? Sound off in the comments below or get at me on Twitter @KellyBean0415.

S1E17: Person of Interest is pretty much a crapshoot, varying from dull and flavorless (like the last episode) to invigorating and filled with merit, like this week’s “Baby Blue.” While there have definitely been better episodes of the show, “Baby Blue” might cover the widest range of emotion: I actually found myself laughing, nearly tearing up, and genuinely tensed up at various different points throughout the episode—and a piece of cinema or television that can illicit any emotional response is a successful one.
"The cop who is on her own." - Moretti I find that this show works best when it has more than one storyline going on—it detracts from the hollow and sometimes formulaic procedural angle that Person of Interest sometimes falls victim to. This week, the team, with Carter on the front lines, is looking to wrangle Elias’ father Moretti (returning Breaking Badian Mark Margolis) into an ad-hoc Witness Protection Program to evade any attacks from his vengeful son. They’re also hoping that Moretti might be able to fill them in on any info that might aid in the apprehension of Elias, who, as I’m sure all Person of Interest fans are glad to realize, looks to be back for the long haul. At least I hope we won’t be living with another long string of episodes without the compelling villain who really does drive the show. All the while, a number comes up. Whereas the Number of the Week story usually suffers due to monotony, however, this time there’s a special twist: the Person of Interest is a six month-old baby.
"Every cop in the city is looking for that kid." - Carter
"I'm teaching her to work undercover." - Reese As an audience member, three things come with this. One: any danger the P.O.I. finds herself in is automatically much more dreadful to watch—you might find it hard to keep your eyes on the TV screen in the climactic scene of this week’s episode. Two: there’s also a good deal of sweetness that comes with watching both Reese and Finch care for an infant girl. You’d think at least one of them would play the “I’m not good with kids” card—it seems like an easy trait to apply to either character, Reese especially. But both men are extremely attentive and extremely warm toward young Layla. Finally, three: at times, it’s also quite funny to watch the hired assassin and his super genius boss befuddled and turned affectionate by a baby. And a scene that places Finch and Carter discussing their secret agent strategies while on line in a department store buying diapers and the like is surprisingly well crafted for this program (the music, the camerawork and the actors’ deliveries all contribute to a fun scene), which is usually pretty simple and straightforward in its direction. The hunt for the people after young Layla is the most inconsequential aspect of the episode. It turns out that some middle-aged, married socialite fathered the baby with a young woman who was promptly killed thereafter—by hit men hired by the adulterer’s wife, who also hired a crew to take Layla out of the country and sell her. The operations going into discovering these facts and accomplishing the goal of delivering Layla—who had been living at the hospital—to her biological grandparents, the loving parents of her murdered mother, are all pretty commonplace Person of Interest surveillance and legwork stuff. What’s far more compelling is how desperate Reese and Finch get to ensure young Layla’s safety (they are way more invested in their Number’s well-being than usual, understandably) and the lengths they are willing to take to achieve this.
"I'm all out of moves, Finch. Risk is all I have left." - Reese In an effort to bring the baby to her grandparents, Reese and Finch are intercepted and bested by the hired kidnappers—the baby is taken. Reese has no idea how to get to them and get Layla back, so he contacts the only man who has a profound enough knowledge of and hand in the New York crime rings to provide any assistance: Elias.
Elias does help Reese get Layla back, but for a price: information about his father’s whereabouts. Carter has Moretti safeguarded in a house in Queens under the watch of one of the few remaining uncorrupt cops with whom she’s acquainted, Officer Could-Switching-to-GEICO (Mike McGlone, another returnee). When Reese refuses, Elias’ men stick Reese in a freezer truck until he gives up the info. But here’s the kicker…Elias puts the baby in the freezer, too. As the temperature drops, we see Reese’s agonizing terror for Layla’s safety rise. He is handcuffed to a pipe, so it takes him a while to even manage free of this so that he can cradle her with his body warmth. Eventually, Reese gives up Moretti’s location. Elias slips him the key and zooms off to take care of his greatly detested father.
"It'd be nice to have a child. Children. Think that'll ever happen?...Probably not. Our line of work." - Reese
"The trouble with children: you never know how they're going to turn out." - Finch Elias manages to take down Officer GEICO and leave the scene with his dad in custody. When Reese (after dropping Layla off with Finch) and Carter arrive, they nurse the officer, whose condition is unclear; Carter learns that Reese was in cooperation with Elias to save Layla’s life, which seems to bring her to the realization of all the crazy, backwards and hardly legal stuff she has been involved in. Carter promptly insists that she can no longer be a part of the team, which Reese accepts. He and Finch then solemnly drop Layla off with her new guardians, her maternal grandparents, with Reese tacitly revealing that he will genuinely miss her.
Interestingly, the episode seems to allude to the fact that Finch has a child of his own. Throughout, he is far more prepared with and knowledgeable about childcare than Reese is, knowing how to feed and change Layla expertly. As the duo bids its farewell to Layla, Finch seems to be a bit callous about the whole thing, almost glad that he won't be able to see her grow up. Has Finch raised a child that has somehow "gone bad?" Is this why he is so close and loving to Nathan's son William?
"What'd you learn?" - Officer
"She had a pizza." - Fusco The episode also continues on the path of redeeming Fusco. Despite probing by his suspicious and corrupt superiors, Fusco does not give up any of the information he manages to accumulate regarding Carter’s “side-operations.” Attaboy, Lionel. Earn your way back into our hearts. This week’s “Baby Blue” has the right components to make it one of the better Person of Interest episodes in recent weeks. The reintroduction of the Elias plot is clearly a big win—the larger arcs are far more compelling than the one-off crimes. But as far as one-off crimes go, this is one of the more captivating ones. It has the immediacy needed to keep audiences caring about the outcome (even if it’s kind of cheating—who wouldn’t care about a baby?), and a good deal of sentiment, excitement, and humor. The final scene shows Elias on the beach with his father, surrounded by Elias’ men, and some good old ominous music. What is Elias’ plan here? Is it simply cathartic revenge, or is there much more to it? And what about the possibility of Finch's fatherhood? Let us know what you think in the comments section or on Twitter @MichaelArbeiter.