MASON JARS, MASON JARS, and also Mason Disick. It's a true fact that as soon as an engagement is confirmed, the bride-to-be thinks about mason jars about as often as the groom-to-be thinks about honeymoon sex. Sometimes more often, like if they're planning to put dessert in their jars.

Why isn't this more of a thing in the wedding cake industry? There are already bride and groom cake toppers EVERYWHERE, so the chance for big ruffly wedding cake skirts seems like a missed frosting opportunity.

Because he's one of Kim's cool new fashion BFFs — they went shopping once or twice in Paris recently and took Instagram photos together in front of a big fish tank. Also, he is BEAUTIFUL. Seriously. Kim's heart is aflutter everytime she looks at those cheekbones, as is mine.

The hashtag says it all. The wedding might not be filmed officially, but there'll be camera phones EVERYWHERE and Kim's not going to let a single one catch her mouth doing that weird wail thing it does when she gets emotional.

Because when you're getting married in Paris, the last thing you want to do is look out of place around the natives. Repeat after Google Translate, now, "Je m'appelle Kim. Votre collier d'ail est très jolie."