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My hometown newspaper has a lovely section called “Thunder / Enlightning” that publishes in an anonymous fashion the comments of readers who call in.

Basically, this is a way for senior citizens to fight out the politics of potholes and drug houses in the area. It’s also the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

Today was especially hilarious, as fights continue about whether or not Tiger Woods is a good guy or a schmuck. (So last summer, no?)

But the best comment concerned the ever-dangerous young lady driver:

“Everyone knows that women are terrible drivers, but young women go beyond terrible. It’s the opinion of most people that I speak with that women should be tested yearly and grounded whenever possible.”

Oh, yes. You can’t just be too careful these days. Something else should be done about the obvious mayhem caused by young lady drivers. We need to take these licensed biddies down to the DMV every year and make sure they remember how to drive. Because, you know lady brains are smaller and don’t retain information as well as men brains. And, DMV lines just aren’t long enough as is.

To the newspaper’s credit, an editor responded with statistics showing that young males have more traffic violations, car accidents and deaths than young females.

But really. We all know statistics lie. So until this man’s dreams come true, let’s be careful out on them there roads.