FORT MYERS, Fla. -The "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's" Fab Five will take on the Red Sox' Fab Six here today as Kevin Millar, Johnny Damon, Bill Mueller, Jason Varitek, Doug Mirabelli and Tim Wakefield line up for some serious tszujing.

The five stars of the hit Bravo reality show, Carson Kressley, Kyan Douglas, Ted Allen, Jai Rodriguez and Thom Filicia, are scheduled to descend on the City of Palms Park sometime after noon to begin making over the scruffy bunch of idiots who rode loosey-goosey attitudes and bad grooming all the way to the World Series last season.

But don't worry, gals. Damon will not be Sampson to Kyan's Delilah.

The caveman outfielder has a clause in his book contract that prohibits him being shorn until his new tome, "IDIOT: Beating 'The Curse' and Enjoying the Game of Life," is released.

"I think he told them they could trim it a little, but nothing dramatic," Sox spokesguy Glenn Geffner said. "The guys are being great sports about it though. Bill Mueller basically told them, 'Have your way with me.' "

Well! Don't let Carson hear that!

Anyway, the show will tape today, tomorrow and Wednesday at the Sox spring training facility. The guys will get new clothes, a grooming makeover, probably a few cooking lessons from Ted and Thom, the decorator, will work his magic on the clubhouse.

Jai, as usual, will be sensitive and supportive.

The Fab bunch were originally scheduled to overhaul only Millar, the red-neck Red Sox who has had some challenging hair issues over the past couple of seasons. But then Kevvie's teammates decided to get in on the action.

The show will air in June - possibly as the "Queer Eye" new season premiere. Do stay tuned. . . .