When healing is not a good thing (for psychics, healers, and especially out of control healers)

When healing is not a good thing. I have so many friends, and colleagues who are amazing healers. They are so loving, and caring, and want to help everyone. They care so much about others, and about the world. It is easy for them to see what (they think) needs help, or adjusting, for a good change to happen. It can be distracting, or painful, to see something out of place, or someone in crisis. I put myself in this category, too. I am very sensitive, compassionate, and empathic. That is why I am grateful for my training as a psychic, as an energy worker, and clairvoyant. I know the difference between healing and fixing. It is a discipline that I am grateful for, and (need to adjust) daily. What makes someone want to fix, and solve other peoples stuff, even when it is not their problem? What makes someone an “out of control healer”? Is it the ego that gets in the way, or, is it pain in that person, that cannot be addressed? Are they very uncomfortable in that present moment, and think that “fixing” the uncomfortableness involves changing it instead of acknowledging it?Do you give away your energy to those in need at the expense of your own needs? Do you try to solve everyone's problems? Are you a sponge for another's pain? Do you continue to heal, and advise, even though they don't want it, and go into effort about it? Do you befriend every hurting soul you meet? Do your (so called) friends only call you when they are in crisis, or pain (and do you like that?)

When I see an out of control healer, as a psychic, they tend to have lousy boundaries. It’s hard to tell where they end, and where other people begin. They feel good when they are helping others, and that feeling good can sometimes be an addiction, keeping themselves far away from their own pain. There is a picture in their space, that keeps getting massaged, that “I am important, I am a good person, I am helping” (even if it is not, or even if that person needs to be broken for a while, or needs to figure it out on their own. It can also be a subtle put down, like “I have all the answers, and you do not”. Maybe they are taking it all very personally. A good psychic, or energy worker has good professional boundaries, and can say no. No, meaning no, I will let them be; it is not my problem, or my business. Sometimes, there can be an energy of “demand” that makes it even harder to say no.

When I do a reading for someone, I put my attention in the center of my head, and slightly turn down my lower chakras (of survival, emotions, and competition, and judgment), so that I can “see” clearly, and easily, and “know” answers to some questions that they might have. I keep saying hello to the person’s spirit, and their spirit shows me things. Their spirit has the answers, and it is wonderful to “witness” the healing that occurs, when they can have that information, and make adjustments. It is they that do the healing on themselves, and I have the opportunity to do the same for myself, at that moment, because I have similar stuff in my space. It is always a win-win situation. And they always have the power. You just show the way. Sometimes, when someone is in great pain, they may think YOU have the power, and energetically cord you to fix it, solve it, make all that pain stop!! That can be a lot of stuff left in your space, a lot of demand energy, and responsibility, you may not want. And ultimately, you can get whacked energetically for not doing it as they wished. Not a good place to be. Better to have good boundaries, and to let them have their own power. “You can do this”, or “You’ll figure this out”, or “I can’t wait to see how you handle this”. “You’re doing great”. I say both yes, and no, daily. Constant yes whittles away self worth, self-respect, dulls your tools, and can make you sick. What is on the other side of that “yes, I must heal all? (Do you really want to be that lady that takes in too many stray cats?) No, for the right reasons, helps your self worth, and can be quite healing, and refreshing! It is so helpful to do your self-work, to understand the need to step back, and check yourself, if you have the propensity to be an out of control healer, especially if you are an energy worker, light worker, or healer. In a professional reading, you stay professional. Forget your overblown self importance, it may be a picture in your space, that you need to have things around you perfect, neat and tidy. Or, that you are so uncomfortable that people have pain. And grief. And loss. And betrayal. And maybe that lights up something in you (to be acknowledged now, and breathed into, and released, or to be explored at a later date. It has nothing to do with your friend, or your client, or the sad state of affairs politically. Look at that place in yourself, blow up that charged picture, or you will continue to heal, “overheal”, so not to experience what is going on under the surface in you. That picture that makes you want to fix, and solve, and change, and fix some more, whether people want your help or not! Are you the healer in your family? In the relationship? Check the balance of your chakras, and be in the center of your head. What is the picture? What energy are you hitting? It is so valuable for you to know yourself, to let other people be themselves, and have the power to heal themselves. Knowing when it is “someone else’s problem”, not yours, can be a great gift you give both to them, and to yourself. Sometimes, sitting in the uncomfortable, being in pain, or discontent, being angry, needs to be there for a person to decide to get out of their comfort zone, and make a big change. Getting out of the way with your healing salve, wanting to stop the uncomfortable pain, is the best thing you can do. Let their change be messy, dirty, bloody, smelly, but let it be their own. They will thank you and respect you for it.You, of course, can do the same thing in your own life. That’s why we medicate, go unconscious, overheal others, instead of experiencing it, acknowledging it, breathing into it, (letting it release from the body, on its own). Then, change can happen, on its own, having had some space made for it. Then, change is reachable, and a new comfort zone is created. Scary, and awesome. You can always help others, always heal others, empower others. But come from a centered place within you. Be a witness, and then work on yourself. Let it be a choice, and not coming from a set of pictures that made you go unconscious. Then you are truly healing, and not fixing.

I invite you to get a reading, a tuneup, or a healing, by phone, or in person, (if you live in the SF bay area). Just go to the store page, and you can select what you need. I won't try to fix you, I have good boundaries. Your spirit has all the answers anyway! ~ Helena Mazzariello