This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:

MidnightBlue_x says:Hi there! This is ElysiumJayne from over at the forums and I'm here to fulfil your request. Before I get started with the actual review there are a few things I'd like to say. Firstly, I'm sorry this review took a little longer than I expected to get to, usually I do them almost straight away but with Christmas upon us I've been busy than I thought. Secondly, this isn't mention on my original post, but I review three chapters for each request. So I'm going to review the first three with this request and then you can re-request for any more, if you wish to do so. Anyway, let's get started.

You said you were worried as to whether the story seemed rushed with the battle happening straight away. Personally, I think this makes the story much more enjoyable. Draco and Hermione are canon characters and despite this being a bit AU, we know the basics of what they think about the war and what they're doing etc. Because of this, I think going straight into the battle is the best thing you could have done. Otherwise, I feel like the story might have dragged too much and that your readers would lose interest. The battle makes it exciting, fast-paced, interesting etc.

Another thing you mentioned was characterisation- I don't really read much about these two, but I think the fact that Hermione sort of agreed to Draco being there but was also a bit hesitant was perfect. I can't imagine her being 100% supportive of either decision, but her being sort of 50/50 is more like her in my opinion. Obviously, there isn't much Draco in this chapter but what we did see of him was pretty believable.

Finally, description wise- it's pretty good. I know how difficult it can be to write battle scenes, especially the final battle but I think you did a good job. The only thing I'd suggest is to maybe extend that last passage a little, I think you could add a little bit more onto that which would really benefit the story- you know, add a little bit more drama and whatnot. I'll leave this review at that so I can start on the next one!