VerifiedGold Member

I went over to the health club tonite just to take a break from my the family rat race and get some time to myself... and there were maybe 8 guys in the steam room... I wasn't there long but there was this one guy, probably mid- 40s, silver hair looked slightly like Anderson Cooper but it was clear to me within seconds of entering that he was there to play, not workout...

I was in the lockerroom about 45 minutes max btween the steam room and dry sauna- and he kept following me (or maybe not following me, but moving back and forth as I was... but it seemed like he was pacing me like a pace car in an auto race...) finally right before I left I was in the steam room alone and he came in and sat opposite from me- moved his towel aside and started blatantly jackin a bone that stuck straight upright.

I didn't make eye contact at all (to encourage him) but I guess he either liked the exhibition or the "danger" of "getting caught" by me... but I ignored him and didn't encourage him or look at him until I got up and left... and he was still stroking...

So should I feel flattered or should I be repulsed? I could feel flattered that he wanted to 'use' me for his object, but that's the deal... he was "using" me basically against my choice... to spank off to, or to get his jollies with- whether I was an avid participant, or whether he just used me for fantasy. It wasn't my choice- either way. The only thing I could have done was instantly get up and leave the moment he came in- which means that he gets the steam room. I stayed for about 5 minutes before I did leave.

SO i'd like to feel flattered- I would have even liked to have been aroused by the scene and play around. BUT i wasn't. I felt taken advantage of by some shifty dork who had an average body and who was giving me creepy feelings from the moment I arrived- and whom I wouldn't choose to uncover my dick and stroke with.

If I am thinking about this wrong, help me know how I should rethink this so next time it happens I will not be so annoyed.

Gold Member

So many supposedly straight men are being cruised in gym saunas and steam rooms these days we should probably create a support group just for them. Obviously, they are so helpless and taken advantage of. YAWN!

... I was in the steam room alone and he came in and sat opposite from me- moved his towel aside and started blatantly jackin a bone that stuck straight upright. I didn't make eye contact at all (to encourage him) ...

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You should be pissed off. You were being sexually pestered. In this case, I'd just tell him "You can be arrested for what you are doing."

I wish it didn't have to be this way, but gay men frequently think they can get away with being sexually obnoxious. I have found that being tolerant or patient is frequently interpreted as being "too nice to say no".

VerifiedGold Member

age has less relevance than mutual attraction. I wasn't really attracted to him-i.e. he wasn't attractive enough to me to make me want to engage in risky behavior like that in a public setting. If it was someone that I was attracted to, hey, I'm human- maybe I would have acted differently.

My original post was more about getting advice- I have a choice to either feel flattered, or repulsed. How do you guys suggest that I program my brain so that if/when this happens again that I can just be flattered (and yet remain disinterested) instead of feeling taken advantage of? How do I make it a WIN for me?

VerifiedGold Member

I would be a bit disgusted. Even if the guy was attractive, he was following you around and then masturbating in the steam room when you were clearly there and probably looked uncomfortable. Like BouncerBear said, it sounds sexually obnoxious.