Pages

Friday, February 17, 2012

Expect Less...

I read this post by Bron at Maxabella Loves this morning, and it almost made me cry. I know she wrote it for a friend, but it still is very applicable to me right now.

My expectations on myself are way too high lately. I know it. Everyone keeps telling me how well I'm doing, and how much I'm doing... but it doesn't feel like enough. I'm still expecting myself to have the house as organised as I did before Charlie was born. I'm doing way too much. Yesterday, for example, I cleaned the kitchen and made the bed and did the general house cleaning stuff. But then, when the kids napped, I also vacuumed and mopped the floor, and clipped the dog and washed her. By the time it was time to wake the kids up to drop them off at my Mum's so I could go to a hair appointment... I never even ate lunch. And that's not good.

I need to try to nap more. Because I'm still only getting at most 6 hours of (broken) sleep most nights. And when I'm tired, I'm not a very nice mother. I snap, and get irritated at Georgie much more quickly then I should. I also need to lower my expectations when it comes to Georgie and her behaviour. She is hard work yes, but it is not her fault. She is a beautiful little girl, who is also getting used to her life being very different.

I need to remind myself that I have just had a baby 6 weeks ago, and my husband is away, plus my baby has what I thought was colic, but now I think it could be silent reflux. (We are going to the Doctor today to find out). I also have a toddler who is extremely busy.

So my new Mummy mantra at the moment is 'expect less'. I know I feel better when the house is clean, but there is a difference between keeping the house as tidy as I can, to cleaning maniacally at the expense of my well-being. I don't have to be firing on all cylinders all the time... that's a sure way to burn out. I also need to stop getting so upset when things don't go to plan. Life is difficult and messy, and I cannot control it. I need to let go of my stress and enjoy things a little more. Otherwise I will end up very unhappy and I don't want that.

I'm not sure what makes us feel like we have to maintain this level of perfection, but it really does suck! I know after #3 was born, I kinda felt like I needed to prove that I could handle everything. But I did the same - completely wore myself out and got all bitter.

It gets better, as you know. Babies sleep longer. Toddlers get used to the big changes. Your hormones settle down and you finally feel like yourself again.

Hello newborn you! Please take it easy, Robyn and be gentle on yourself. It's absolutely mind boggling how much work a little baby can bring. By baby number three I had learned my lesson and had the entire house on lock-down for 12 weeks solid and it was my best 'fourth trimester' yet. Even with two toddlers running riot at the same time.

'Other people', while supportive and wonderful later on, are just a bit of extra hard work when you have a new baby. I reckon you just need to get into baby-mode and go with that routine. you'll be amazed at how much easier it is to 'let other things go' if you are not expecting company, even if it's helpful company.

Take care of you. Charlie is yumminess himself, but yumminess is still an awful lot of relentless hard work. x