No Heartbeat, Need Advice

I went in for my normally scheduled prenatal today. An ultrasound was performed and no heartbeat was detected ("fetal demise"). The baby measured 14 1/2 weeks and I am 15 1/2 weeks today...

This is all new to me and really need some experienced advice about what to do next.

I asked my doctor if there was a different test that could be performed to confirm, rather than a second doctor's opinion on the same ultrasound, which he was planning to do. He called around to the other Kaiser medical centeres and all of their radiology depts are booked for the next 2 weeks. I was told to come in first thing tomorrow to one of the radiology centers and wait "standby" for any breaks that might open up. I believe my doctor that there was no heartbeat (I knew it was missing before he said anything), but if I am going to do any next step, I need to be SURE.

He told me that I would then have two options:1. A D&C, general anethesia, "completely clean out the uterus". This would destroy the baby and I wouldn't get to see him/her. Doctor recommend this option because it is quick.2. Inducing labor. Doctor says I could be in labor for a day or two (he delivered my 4 year old and that was a 28 hour labor for a second child...) He says my baby is so small that it may not respond to the induction and I may need a D&C anyway. I am leaning toward this option anyway. I can't stand the thought of "sucking out" my child and not having an intact body for burial and my personal viewing. I also really want to know if this child was a boy or a girl and I am hoping they will do a chromosomal test (do they do that?).

I asked about letting my body finish the process on it's own. He said that is not an option as I may develop an infection. Since the baby may have died up to a week ago, I can see his point.

Iam pretty emotional right now. I really need to hear from those of you have been through this which option you would reccommend. Thank you so much!

Gratefully,MommaLu

Hi Ladies,

I went in for my normally scheduled prenatal today. An ultrasound was performed and no heartbeat was detected ("fetal demise"). The baby measured 14 1/2 weeks and I am 15 1/2 weeks today...

This is all new to me and really need some experienced advice about what to do next.

I asked my doctor if there was a different test that could be performed to confirm, rather than a second doctor's opinion on the same ultrasound, which he was planning to do. He called around to the other Kaiser medical centeres and all of their radiology depts are booked for the next 2 weeks. I was told to come in first thing tomorrow to one of the radiology centers and wait "standby" for any breaks that might open up. I believe my doctor that there was no heartbeat (I knew it was missing before he said anything), but if I am going to do any next step, I need to be SURE.

He told me that I would then have two options:1. A D&C, general anethesia, "completely clean out the uterus". This would destroy the baby and I wouldn't get to see him/her. Doctor recommend this option because it is quick.2. Inducing labor. Doctor says I could be in labor for a day or two (he delivered my 4 year old and that was a 28 hour labor for a second child...) He says my baby is so small that it may not respond to the induction and I may need a D&C anyway. I am leaning toward this option anyway. I can't stand the thought of "sucking out" my child and not having an intact body for burial and my personal viewing. I also really want to know if this child was a boy or a girl and I am hoping they will do a chromosomal test (do they do that?).

I asked about letting my body finish the process on it's own. He said that is not an option as I may develop an infection. Since the baby may have died up to a week ago, I can see his point.

Iam pretty emotional right now. I really need to hear from those of you have been through this which option you would reccommend. Thank you so much!

I'm so sorry! This happened to me last week- so hard! We were given options but ultimately went with d&c. We were told that it can actually jump start everything when you want to try again. We wanted it quick so we could focus on the healing. Recovery was ok and I'm still sore but I hear of so many people who try naturally and then still require a d&c.Hope it helps:( I know there is nothing I could say right now. Hugs

I'm so sorry! This happened to me last week- so hard! We were given options but ultimately went with d&c. We were told that it can actually jump start everything when you want to try again. We wanted it quick so we could focus on the healing. Recovery was ok and I'm still sore but I hear of so many people who try naturally and then still require a d&c.Hope it helps:( I know there is nothing I could say right now. Hugs

I am so sorry you went through this as well. Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were along? Did they offer any chromosomal testing after-the-fact? Did you stay overnight at the hospital, or did you go home?

That is really awful that so many women who try to deliver end up getting a D&C too. I do want to try for another child, so the possibility that a D&C could hurry that along is something I will consider.

Best wishes to you and I hope you feel better quickly,MommaLu

Thank you, MacMac1,

I am so sorry you went through this as well. Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were along? Did they offer any chromosomal testing after-the-fact? Did you stay overnight at the hospital, or did you go home?

That is really awful that so many women who try to deliver end up getting a D&C too. I do want to try for another child, so the possibility that a D&C could hurry that along is something I will consider.

I was only in my 10 th week but I heard I was dating around 6 weeks. I was offered to spend the night as it was a late surgery but declined. No testing was mentioned but I was assured that sometimes, they just happen. I believe that your baby always come back to you so that's helping. I just want to start trying so I can have a new focus. I'm so sorry- this is hard and dh couldn't believe how puffy my eyes were from crying- I'm still up and down but routine of work is helping. Thinking of you

I was only in my 10 th week but I heard I was dating around 6 weeks. I was offered to spend the night as it was a late surgery but declined. No testing was mentioned but I was assured that sometimes, they just happen. I believe that your baby always come back to you so that's helping. I just want to start trying so I can have a new focus. I'm so sorry- this is hard and dh couldn't believe how puffy my eyes were from crying- I'm still up and down but routine of work is helping. Thinking of you

I'm so sorry this happened to you! We just buried our precious baby today. The baby was developed to 16 weeks but we got the news about no heartbeat at a routine appointment around 17 & 1/2 weeks. It has been a very difficult week, for sure, but the brief and precious graveside service was quite cathartic today. I was induced on Wednesday morning and was discharged 24 hours later. The hospital staff was incredibly sensitive and compassionate. They even gave us a memory box with hand and footprint cards among a few other items.
This was our first pregnancy and we never had any genetic testing before but we were able to request chromosomal testing, including the sex of the baby, but won't hear results for a couple of weeks or so. I live in Illinois, though, we don't have Kaiser so I would just ask them.
I don't know if you have faith in God or not, but I believe in Jesus and He had helped me get through this painful time. I pray that you know His peace that surpasses all understanding. My heart goes out to you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! We just buried our precious baby today. The baby was developed to 16 weeks but we got the news about no heartbeat at a routine appointment around 17 & 1/2 weeks. It has been a very difficult week, for sure, but the brief and precious graveside service was quite cathartic today. I was induced on Wednesday morning and was discharged 24 hours later. The hospital staff was incredibly sensitive and compassionate. They even gave us a memory box with hand and footprint cards among a few other items.
This was our first pregnancy and we never had any genetic testing before but we were able to request chromosomal testing, including the sex of the baby, but won't hear results for a couple of weeks or so. I live in Illinois, though, we don't have Kaiser so I would just ask them.
I don't know if you have faith in God or not, but I believe in Jesus and He had helped me get through this painful time. I pray that you know His peace that surpasses all understanding. My heart goes out to you.

I want you to know I'm very sorry. I was 13 weeks when I found out at an ultrasound the baby had passed. I will speak from my experience and what was offered for me. I too have kaiser and I was offered a D&C. I found the procedure to be fairly easy and I was allowed to be semi-conscious. This was my first miscarriage and they told me they will not do any testing until you have 3 miscarriages. The only thing they had tested for was if I had picked up a virus or infection. I wish I was more pushy to get to the bottom line as to why it happened. I just wanted you to know with a D&C there is a chance of developing scar tissue and that can make it harder to get pregnant. I'm not trying to scare you I just wanted you to know the information. I also was never told if my baby was a boy or girl. I don't know if you can request that before hand but I hadn't thought about it until after. I was in a state of shock.Also I made sure to have a second ultrasound before the procedure just incase they got it wrong. I asked to have the ultrasound pictures because it was the last picture of my baby. It is a terrible and shocking thing to go through. We are all here to support you. I'm praying that you will have the support to get through this trying time. :)

I want you to know I'm very sorry. I was 13 weeks when I found out at an ultrasound the baby had passed. I will speak from my experience and what was offered for me. I too have kaiser and I was offered a D&C. I found the procedure to be fairly easy and I was allowed to be semi-conscious. This was my first miscarriage and they told me they will not do any testing until you have 3 miscarriages. The only thing they had tested for was if I had picked up a virus or infection. I wish I was more pushy to get to the bottom line as to why it happened. I just wanted you to know with a D&C there is a chance of developing scar tissue and that can make it harder to get pregnant. I'm not trying to scare you I just wanted you to know the information. I also was never told if my baby was a boy or girl. I don't know if you can request that before hand but I hadn't thought about it until after. I was in a state of shock.Also I made sure to have a second ultrasound before the procedure just incase they got it wrong. I asked to have the ultrasound pictures because it was the last picture of my baby. It is a terrible and shocking thing to go through. We are all here to support you. I'm praying that you will have the support to get through this trying time. :)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had my baby naturally at home and it was very healing to hold Kayden in my hand and have that closure. What ever you decide, it will be the right decision and we will all be here for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had my baby naturally at home and it was very healing to hold Kayden in my hand and have that closure. What ever you decide, it will be the right decision and we will all be here for you.

You ladies are all so supportive and helpful and I am so grateful for the advice. I want to take the time to respond to each of you personally, but it is 2:00 AM and my eyes are puffy from crying. Please know that I read all of your replies, am sorry we have all gone through/are going through this loss, and I thank you so much for sharing with me and showing such compassion. Best wishes to each of you.
Love,
MommaLu

You ladies are all so supportive and helpful and I am so grateful for the advice. I want to take the time to respond to each of you personally, but it is 2:00 AM and my eyes are puffy from crying. Please know that I read all of your replies, am sorry we have all gone through/are going through this loss, and I thank you so much for sharing with me and showing such compassion. Best wishes to each of you.
Love,
MommaLu

I am so sorry you are going through this. We lost our baby at 18 weeks, baby was dated at almost 16 weeks by ultrasound but was small due to a chromosomal defect. We had genetic testing at 14 weeks after an anomaly was picked up in a scan. I was induced and laboured naturally. It only took 10 hours, and I got to hold and say good bye to our daughter. I required a d&c also, under a general anesthetic. I had minimal bleeding after and healed quickly. I just got my period 31 days after d&c so we will be ttc again this month.
I hope you manage to stay strong and close to your man, you will need his support. Lots of hugs to you

I am so sorry you are going through this. We lost our baby at 18 weeks, baby was dated at almost 16 weeks by ultrasound but was small due to a chromosomal defect. We had genetic testing at 14 weeks after an anomaly was picked up in a scan. I was induced and laboured naturally. It only took 10 hours, and I got to hold and say good bye to our daughter. I required a d&c also, under a general anesthetic. I had minimal bleeding after and healed quickly. I just got my period 31 days after d&c so we will be ttc again this month.
I hope you manage to stay strong and close to your man, you will need his support. Lots of hugs to you

So sorry for you position and your loss. It's weird cause to be induced mean pushing out a baby that you can't take home which is hard emotionally and mentally. Some places give the memory box, which is quite thoughtful and you have something there to remember your precious lil one. And to have a d&c is a lil more painful but it feels like you had more a procedure than a baby. I Lso heard its easier to get pregnant after a "clean up " didn't work for me . My subsequent preg didn't seem quicker w any of the procedures ( had d&c, baby came out by itself, d&e and induction) ----- sadly I had done both :-( , of I have to again I would induce, I had 4 miscarriages only have one physical memory item( other than us pics). I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant now - haven't looked at the pic since a week after I came home from hospital - it hurts a lot to see this lil person who couldn't be saved. ----- which ever you pic it's hard !!! Best of luck on your decision, again I'm sorry for your loss.

So sorry for you position and your loss. It's weird cause to be induced mean pushing out a baby that you can't take home which is hard emotionally and mentally. Some places give the memory box, which is quite thoughtful and you have something there to remember your precious lil one. And to have a d&c is a lil more painful but it feels like you had more a procedure than a baby. I Lso heard its easier to get pregnant after a "clean up " didn't work for me . My subsequent preg didn't seem quicker w any of the procedures ( had d&c, baby came out by itself, d&e and induction) ----- sadly I had done both :-( , of I have to again I would induce, I had 4 miscarriages only have one physical memory item( other than us pics). I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant now - haven't looked at the pic since a week after I came home from hospital - it hurts a lot to see this lil person who couldn't be saved. ----- which ever you pic it's hard !!! Best of luck on your decision, again I'm sorry for your loss.

Well, our sonogram wasn't what we thought (twins) but even worse!!! I went this morning. There wasn't any cardiac activity at all. Everything was flatlined. I'm 8wks, 3days but measured at 6wks, 1day. We are devastated, now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 9 &11 year old when they get off the bus today. I had the sonographer go over and over again, but nothing. I think I'm in denial. All feels like a bad dream. Had blood drawn to check my levels and and I'm scheduled for a d&c Friday. :( Could they be wrong!!!!? I was told the chromosomal tests could be run from the tissue they'll remove during the D&C...I'll find out more Thursday.

Well, our sonogram wasn't what we thought (twins) but even worse!!! I went this morning. There wasn't any cardiac activity at all. Everything was flatlined. I'm 8wks, 3days but measured at 6wks, 1day. We are devastated, now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 9 &11 year old when they get off the bus today. I had the sonographer go over and over again, but nothing. I think I'm in denial. All feels like a bad dream. Had blood drawn to check my levels and and I'm scheduled for a d&c Friday. :( Could they be wrong!!!!? I was told the chromosomal tests could be run from the tissue they'll remove during the D&C...I'll find out more Thursday.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I was 13 weeks when I had my mmc, baby measured 12 weeks 5 days. I had to be induced as I was told that if you have a D&C over 12 weeks there could be a risk for future pregnancies. Baby was delivered in 3 hours, placenta took an extra hour to come out. I hope everything goes as well as it can for you. We're all here if you need support or just someone to vent to.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I was 13 weeks when I had my mmc, baby measured 12 weeks 5 days. I had to be induced as I was told that if you have a D&C over 12 weeks there could be a risk for future pregnancies. Baby was delivered in 3 hours, placenta took an extra hour to come out. I hope everything goes as well as it can for you. We're all here if you need support or just someone to vent to.

I am so very sorry for you loss and I totally understand what you are going through.

I went in this past Thursday (12/1) for a routine ultrasound. That is when we found out that our little one stopped growing at aproximately 9w3d. Neither DH or I could believe it. I was supposed to be 10w1d with a healthy little one bundled up inside. Instead, we were faced with our second loss. (First loss on 10/14/10 with a blighted ovium.) Our doctor scheduled a second ultrasound for a few days later. On Monday (12/5) I went for the second ultrasound. My mother went with me this time and we were both amazed to see the difference in the ultrasound pictures from a few days earlier. The baby wasn't as defined and had even measured smaller at 9w. I could see for myself that my little one was no longer there.

While my doctor did want for the m/c process to begin naturally, he said that he would still recommend a D&C becuase of the risk of not passing everything and becuase of infection. This would be my second D&C and so I knew what to expect and immediately agreed with what the doctor wanted to do.

I began spotting on Monday (same day as second u/s) and on Tuesday it was begining to get worse. My doctor was pleased to see that I had begun the miscarriage on my own becuase it made yesterday's D&C easier.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful doctor. Since this is our second m/c, he has sent tissue for further testing. I hope that the test will be able to reveal any problems that occurred. He also said that the testing should be able to reveal the gender of our little one.

While I know we did everything we could possibly do, I know that anything we could do wouldn't have prevented our loss.

I just try to remember that G-d won't give me more than I can handle.

Saying a prayer for you....

I am so very sorry for you loss and I totally understand what you are going through.

I went in this past Thursday (12/1) for a routine ultrasound. That is when we found out that our little one stopped growing at aproximately 9w3d. Neither DH or I could believe it. I was supposed to be 10w1d with a healthy little one bundled up inside. Instead, we were faced with our second loss. (First loss on 10/14/10 with a blighted ovium.) Our doctor scheduled a second ultrasound for a few days later. On Monday (12/5) I went for the second ultrasound. My mother went with me this time and we were both amazed to see the difference in the ultrasound pictures from a few days earlier. The baby wasn't as defined and had even measured smaller at 9w. I could see for myself that my little one was no longer there.

While my doctor did want for the m/c process to begin naturally, he said that he would still recommend a D&C becuase of the risk of not passing everything and becuase of infection. This would be my second D&C and so I knew what to expect and immediately agreed with what the doctor wanted to do.

I began spotting on Monday (same day as second u/s) and on Tuesday it was begining to get worse. My doctor was pleased to see that I had begun the miscarriage on my own becuase it made yesterday's D&C easier.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful doctor. Since this is our second m/c, he has sent tissue for further testing. I hope that the test will be able to reveal any problems that occurred. He also said that the testing should be able to reveal the gender of our little one.

While I know we did everything we could possibly do, I know that anything we could do wouldn't have prevented our loss.

Diagnosed with Unicornuate Uterus on 9/4/12.RT UU, no horn, both ovaries and both kidneys.

From:
MommaLu

To: ALL

Posted: Dec-07 06:09 PM (14 of 24)

Thank you all for being so kind and supportive! The advice is so helpful, too.

It seems that different doctors give conflicting advice. My doctor recommeds the D&C as he says the risk is lower. He wanted me to see a doctor who specializes in D&C for 2nd trimester pregnancies. I have opted for induction. Seeing that many of you heard that induction is the better option is reassuring. I feel so selfish for wanting to see my baby and perhaps put myself at risk...

The doctor inserted laminaria rods into my cervix this afternoon and I report to labor and delivery at the hospital in the morning.

I appreciate your prayers and good wishes. I am praying that I come out of this alive, with my fertility intact, and perhaps getting to see and bury my baby. I am really terrified.

MommaLu

Thank you all for being so kind and supportive! The advice is so helpful, too.

It seems that different doctors give conflicting advice. My doctor recommeds the D&C as he says the risk is lower. He wanted me to see a doctor who specializes in D&C for 2nd trimester pregnancies. I have opted for induction. Seeing that many of you heard that induction is the better option is reassuring. I feel so selfish for wanting to see my baby and perhaps put myself at risk...

The doctor inserted laminaria rods into my cervix this afternoon and I report to labor and delivery at the hospital in the morning.

I appreciate your prayers and good wishes. I am praying that I come out of this alive, with my fertility intact, and perhaps getting to see and bury my baby. I am really terrified.

I am so sorry for your loss, I had a similar experience in April last year. I just wanted to address a point someone else made, in case it helps with your decision-- there is no risk of scarring with the current d&c procedures. They do not do the scraping which was common previously and caused scarring-- at least they shouldn't. I has a d&c which was just suction essentially. I made a full recovery with minimal bleeding afterwards, and am now nearing the end of my first trimester with my second pregnancy. The d&c helped me get closure and helped me heal quicker. I was also allowed to get chromosomal testing even though it was my first, and we found out it was a very common chromosomal abnormality unlikely to recur. I hope this helps, my thoughts are with you!

I am so sorry for your loss, I had a similar experience in April last year. I just wanted to address a point someone else made, in case it helps with your decision-- there is no risk of scarring with the current d&c procedures. They do not do the scraping which was common previously and caused scarring-- at least they shouldn't. I has a d&c which was just suction essentially. I made a full recovery with minimal bleeding afterwards, and am now nearing the end of my first trimester with my second pregnancy. The d&c helped me get closure and helped me heal quicker. I was also allowed to get chromosomal testing even though it was my first, and we found out it was a very common chromosomal abnormality unlikely to recur. I hope this helps, my thoughts are with you!

I'm so sorry to hear. I had this happen to me this August. I had been going for regular check ups and had an ultra sound with the high-risk dr 2 weeks prior to my no-heart beat visit. The baby was fine. I was in for a check up at 16 weeks and no heartbeat. The ultrasound discovered it had stopped growing at 15 weeks. I choose the d&c and to be put out during the procedure. I couldn't bear the thought of delivery or being awake during the procedure. It's so hard. I still miss my baby and struggle with the why since I have 2 healthy children. My post-op visit blood tests at 6 weeks revealed no answers to my questions. I'm hoping to get another opportunity to be a mom again soon. Wishing you well in this journey.

I'm so sorry to hear. I had this happen to me this August. I had been going for regular check ups and had an ultra sound with the high-risk dr 2 weeks prior to my no-heart beat visit. The baby was fine. I was in for a check up at 16 weeks and no heartbeat. The ultrasound discovered it had stopped growing at 15 weeks. I choose the d&c and to be put out during the procedure. I couldn't bear the thought of delivery or being awake during the procedure. It's so hard. I still miss my baby and struggle with the why since I have 2 healthy children. My post-op visit blood tests at 6 weeks revealed no answers to my questions. I'm hoping to get another opportunity to be a mom again soon. Wishing you well in this journey.

I found out at my 12 week apt that our baby's heart had stopped. It only measured 8 weeks. Two days later, it released on its own. It was all very heartbreaking, but I'm glad I opted not to have the d&c. My dr said she wouldn't want me to wait more than a week after we got the news, at which point I would have carried Alex five weeks past her death.

I found out at my 12 week apt that our baby's heart had stopped. It only measured 8 weeks. Two days later, it released on its own. It was all very heartbreaking, but I'm glad I opted not to have the d&c. My dr said she wouldn't want me to wait more than a week after we got the news, at which point I would have carried Alex five weeks past her death.

MommaLu I was 14:4 weeks when I had my MMC,Doctor at the hospital told me I needed a D&C I asked what a D&C was as I was only 6-6 weeks with my other 2MC,she described it exactly the same way you were told & no way in hell I was going to allow my baby to go through that & just be thrown away as if my LO wad nothing.I saw my son aweek prior wiggling around in my U/S wave his little hand(we didn't find out sex until Damien was born)Doctor kept telling me it was better for me to have a D&C but I told them I would go naturally(they kind if wipe their hands of me after that)my son waited till I got home to be born.I wasn't expecting a teeny tiny miniature perfect baby.it was the hardest day as for some reason the doctor kept asking if I had lost any clots so I just assumed my LO was going to be a huge clot.I also choose natural as doctor told me I was having a MMC but never once said to me that bub had no heart beat so I still had hope that I could go home & be on bedrest again & everything would be OK but that didn't happen.heaven forbid please if I had to do it all over again I would do it exactly the same way as we got to say goodbye to our son.

MommaLu I was 14:4 weeks when I had my MMC,Doctor at the hospital told me I needed a D&C I asked what a D&C was as I was only 6-6 weeks with my other 2MC,she described it exactly the same way you were told & no way in hell I was going to allow my baby to go through that & just be thrown away as if my LO wad nothing.I saw my son aweek prior wiggling around in my U/S wave his little hand(we didn't find out sex until Damien was born)Doctor kept telling me it was better for me to have a D&C but I told them I would go naturally(they kind if wipe their hands of me after that)my son waited till I got home to be born.I wasn't expecting a teeny tiny miniature perfect baby.it was the hardest day as for some reason the doctor kept asking if I had lost any clots so I just assumed my LO was going to be a huge clot.I also choose natural as doctor told me I was having a MMC but never once said to me that bub had no heart beat so I still had hope that I could go home & be on bedrest again & everything would be OK but that didn't happen.heaven forbid please if I had to do it all over again I would do it exactly the same way as we got to say goodbye to our son.

I hope you are ok, I went through something similar in September. We went for our 12.5 week ultrasound and got told the horrible news of no heartbeat. Bubby's heart had stopped at around 11 weeks. I was told my options but knew straight away I didn't want a d&c for the same reasons as you. It just seemed so inhuman. So we got induced at 13.1. It wasn't as nearly as traumatic as the drs said it would be, I actually was quite at peace. I got to have my baby naturally and see all his perfect fingers and toes ect. My baby had anenchephaly, so knowing the cause of death also helped with healing. We didn't send baby off for testing because we already had closure. I did have to have a d&c after because some of the lining was still attached, but that didn't bother me.. The main the was that our baby was beautiful and respected :)

I hope you are ok, I went through something similar in September. We went for our 12.5 week ultrasound and got told the horrible news of no heartbeat. Bubby's heart had stopped at around 11 weeks. I was told my options but knew straight away I didn't want a d&c for the same reasons as you. It just seemed so inhuman. So we got induced at 13.1. It wasn't as nearly as traumatic as the drs said it would be, I actually was quite at peace. I got to have my baby naturally and see all his perfect fingers and toes ect. My baby had anenchephaly, so knowing the cause of death also helped with healing. We didn't send baby off for testing because we already had closure. I did have to have a d&c after because some of the lining was still attached, but that didn't bother me.. The main the was that our baby was beautiful and respected :)

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