The Fonz’s Birthday Revue Review

The Fonz called his 8th birthday his best ever. He started the day bounding down the steps while singing, “Giddy-eight, giddy-eight, giddy-eight, eight, eight!” to the tune of the William Tell Overture.

We managed a fair amount of teasing, including telling him we had hired a ‘mathematician’ for his party after mishearing his request of a ‘magician’. We had also considered giving him a collar and leash to make him think he was getting a dog, but we decided against any pet jokes since we actually did give him a pet hamster.

When he asked if I had any ideas for names, I suggested he name his hamster ‘The iPad 3’. He spent the whole day at school today telling his friends and teacher that his favorite present was The iPad 3. Kids even came into the library to ask my wife if The Fonz had really received the new iPad for his birthday. When the kids asked The Fonz where he got his iPad 3, he always answered, “The pet store.”

*****

My favorite of his gifts was a record player. On the kids’ birthdays I like to pick one thing I wanted to buy anyway and subtly let the birthday boy think it was his idea. He was thrilled once he realized he would be the only kid in his class to own a record player. When Mrs. Greatsby saw the gift, she asked The Fonz how I had tricked him into thinking he wanted a record player. He insisted it was what he always wanted, but he just didn’t know it yet; he did know that he had “always wanted to be old timey.”

*****

When we were driving back from the record shop, The Fonz asked what a honeymoon was. Before I could answer he suggested, “Is it just like a vacation after you get married, but a really fun vacation, like bowling all the time?”

If ‘bowling’ is some slang kids are using now, I don’t get it.

*****

He’s been reading a book for kids full of interesting records and statistics and he spent his birthday answering questions with a question stating one of the book’s facts.

“Do you want some ice cream?”
“Can a dog make about a hundred facial expressions?”
“Um…I don’t know. Can he? I assume the answer is yes because I assume you want ice cream.”

*****

Here’s a picture of The Fonz someone sent me yesterday. Would you believe me if I promised this was The Fonz but that I’d never met these other three people in my life and I have no idea where this picture was taken?

I love The Ipad 3 as a pet name, but I’m a little disappointed you didn’t get him a tiny hamster-sized collar and leash and tell him he had to walk his hamster every day.

I think the picture is pretty self-explanatory. It was taken while The Fonz was hanging out with one of his friends in her home after school. Unaware that she had a secret crush on him, he told her about his own crush on the Italian girl, and naturally, this girl was devastated. Her mother is attempting to comfort her while her father tries to convince The Fonz to change his mind.

I’m thinking that it’s you, the Fonz, your lovely librarian wife and Optimist Prime in drag. Not that there anything wrong with that. Or maybe you really wanted a daughter, and got Optimist Prime to play along. We already know he’s empathetic. If you’re family’s like everyone else’s, we’re likely only hearing a small portion of what really goes on behind closed doors.

PS: The furniture is arranged stupidly! Look at it…..chair blocking an entry, coffee table in the middle of the room so far from the couch you could play a game of hopscotch in between….LOLOL this obviously isn’t your house Greatsby….and the wife? She looks a bit like Madonna.

Bowling… um… pins… knocked down by balls…coming down a lubricated lane… do I have to spell it out? Also, I bet OP is disappointed to have been turned into a girl for the sake of this photos. And you can always name the hamster another animal. I had a teacher in high school who named his cat Bunny. So the hamster could be Guinea Pig, or Rat, or Labradoodle.

Great idea with the pet name. I should go look for an ipad 3 at the pet store, too.

I’m guessing the photo was taken on a set for some play? Careful, though– the fake dad is really challenging your real dad sense of style. If he was wearing a smoking jacket, too, it would probably be game over for your father-son relationship with The Fonz.