Wedding Bells for Kenny Blankenship and "Olga from Volga"

Olga from Volga and teammate Valentina working on her wedding trousseau

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Despite threats from Russian police authorities to imprison the mysterious "Olga from Volga", one of the two female kidnappers of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, she is headed down the aisle instead.

At a press conference today, the recently released Kenny Blankenship announced, "Olga and I are tying the knot in a ceremony at the Russian Orthodox Church in Sochi this weekend. Even though some people say our love is a result of propinquity and not real affection, Olga has truly won my heart!"

The infamous Olga has turned out to be no other than the famous woman weightlifter, Olga Topolski, who holds several major titles in her country. This has led to speculation that Kenny was manhandled into proposing marriage while kidnapped, but Kenny's friend, Vic, says otherwise.

"I saw the sparks fly the night the girls whisked us away to the dacha outside of Sochi. Kenny took one look at Olga's shoulders and biceps in that black strapless dress and he was a goner. He really admires female athleticism, as all the fans of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge know. I think they will be very happy together, even if she is a foot taller and outweighs him by a good 50 pounds!"

Sources close to the couple say Vic Romano will be the best man at the ceremony, and Olga's co-kidnapper, weightlifting team mate Valentina Grasmick, will be the maid of honor. The couple plans to honeymoon in Dubrovnik, the lovely Croatian city on the Adriatic Sea.

Make Wumf's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

The former corpse and monarch is set to involve himself in the 21st Century by joining various social media.
The king was resurrected by royalist necromancers in 2012 but has maintained a low profile since his return to life.
Richard III was ki...

London- Britney Spears traveled to Britain to address the House of Commons to complain about the structure of the British government.
Spears complains that England is not a true democracy but a false democracy.
"After reading excerpt from Aris...

The Dalai Lama may be a man of few possessions™, but he's hoping to get the better of Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby in a very material manner; while also sticking up for the faithful (at least, the right kind of faithful, anyway).
Attendi...

A group of juvenile terrorists have attacked Denmark's most popular tourist attraction apart from the mermaid, Legoland. They targeted the World Trade Center replica building made of multi-coloured plastic blocks, threw stones at the Eifel Tower and...

Spain - A huge orange cloud of toxic crap has erupted from a chemical plant at Igualada in Spain's notoriously brain-dead region of Catatonia.
Firefighters described the fumes as a heady cocktail of nitric acid, ferric chloride and the orange foo...

A group of Dorking pensioners' bus trip to the south of France suffered a mishap yesterday when a satnav error led the driver to deliver the elderly tourists to a euthanasia clinic in Switzerland. Sadly all seventeen of the passengers were slaughtere...

The Hague, Netherlands - Human frights lawyer Amal Clooney has been cut down to size by Stonkerz magazine after being dubbed 'Princess Pancake' on account of her flat 30A-cup tits.
The Pancake Day award comes with a year's supply of brassiere cup...

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh speaking at the opening of a new Greek themed hypermarket, caused much amusement yesterday, when he pulled out what appeared to be a crumpled script from his pocket and read out the following list, apparently not real...