MOTHERS HOME FOR TEACHING?from The DOT.COMMENTARYA weekly publication of the Beverly LaHaye InstituteJanice Shaw Crouse, Ph.D., Senior Fellow; Anne Stover, InternThursday, July 25, 2002 DAYCARE DILEMMA: Researchers Document Behavioral and Intellectual DangersIrrefutable evidence continues to mount that working mothers put their childrenat risk when they depend too much on childcare. In three years of tracking thedata and analyzing the most respected and comprehensive studies, the BeverlyLaHaye Institute has reported that: (1) More than 30 hours of childcare a weekcan result in a child becoming aggressive, defiant and disobedient, (2) Thequality of childcare does not appear to improve outcomes and the results holdtrue whether the children are rich or poor, male or female, or whether they arein institutionalized day care or are looked after by a relative or a nanny. (3)Now, a new report îcalled the most comprehensive and reliable study to dateñindicates that the children of mothers who go back to work full time whiletheir children are infants have poorer mental and verbal development.

This distressing news comes at a time when most childcare centers areredefining themselves as learning centers. . . .

Comment:This last sentence points out just another example of the twisting of language to change our thinking, which is one reason Touchstone is so concerned about words and language (e.g. our taking part in the latest TNIV controversy over "gender-inclusiveî language).

In today's example, the irony is that a mother is led to think that she is giving little Tommy a formal learning advantage by sending him to a "learning center," a daycare center for 2-year-olds, when in fact he could receive the best advantage of all by spending his day with mom, listening to her voice, hearing her language, studying her face, and watching her do something far more important than anything she might do at an office computer: form a young mind and soul. Yes, I sit here at my office computer typing this, but I know my mom and grandmother taught me more than I would have ever learned at a learning center. (Thanks, Mom. Memory eternal, Grandma Meg.)

from The Washington TimesLarry Witham, 8/6/2002A new study shows that fathers of the evangelical and Catholic faiths may be better parents than secular dads, if judged by the time they spend with their children in activities or at the dinner table.æææææThe author of the study, reported in the Journal of Marriage and Family, said the findings contradict a stereotype that conservative Protestant fathers leave child rearing to stay-at-home wives.æææææ"Evangelical Protestant fathers, including Southern Baptists, are very involved with their children, which I found surprising, given their tendency to embrace traditional gender attitudes," said W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia.æææææFindings were based on time spent on five kinds of one-on-one activities, such as reading or playing a game.æææææEvangelical fathers on average spent more hours per week with their children than other dads. They reported being at an average of 27 more family dinners a year than those with no religious affiliation.æææææCatholic fathers, who excelled in devotion to group activities with their children, on average spent about two hours more a week with their children than fathers of no religion.æææææBoth exceeded the time spent by fathers in mainline Protestant churches or with no religious affiliation. (more at www.washtimes.com/national/20020806-81092756.htm)

Comment: There is a mysterious connection between our religion and child-rearing. Our salvation began, in a very real sense, with an openness to child-bearing and with the willingness (and love) of Joseph to embrace both Mary and the Child Whom she bore in a great mystery. For years the Incarnate Son looked at the eyes of his mother and listened to the sound of her voice, while he learned to be a man and tradesman watching the hands of his foster-father work and while listening to the words and instructions of Joseph. At the heart of our faith is the Child, and to the child Jesus pointed in reminding his followers, "Suffer the children to come unto me." Fathers today who think their niche in the economic machine is what matters most to their child perhaps have forgotten one of the things they themselves most needed when they were young: the love of their father. Supper with dad, when we can get it, is a gift not to be taken for granted.ææ

One doesn't know whether to be encouraged or discouraged by the following article: encouraged, that it shows a glimmering of common sense; or discouraged, that we've sunk so low that such a "discovery" would be news to anyone. I'd also like to know---well, on second thought, maybe I wouldn't---how one goes about "measuring love styles."

Narcissists Make Lousy Lovers

Self-love can get in the way of romantic love, study finds

TUESDAY, Aug. 6 (HealthScoutNews) -- Being too sweet on yourself could sour your romantic relationships. People whose self-esteem is so strong that it verges on narcissism usually turn out to be lousy mates, says new research.

Such people are often selfish, manipulative, unfaithful and power-hungry. While they may at first seem charming and keen on a relationship, they're really seeking dominance rather than pleasure.

"These people can come on as confident and attractive, but you don't see the negative parts of their personalities until later," says lead author Keith Campbell, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Georgia.

"It doesn't seem possible that they can betray a relationship as flagrantly as they can. But they do," he says.

The study finding goes against decades of self-help messages that say you have to first love yourself to really be able to love another person.

The study, which appears in the August issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found the defining feature of people with a narcissistic bent is something called "game-playing love." The narcissist has an aversion to partner dependence, is deceptive and often cheats. This approach means the narcissist maintains power and autonomy in the relationship.

Gender isn't a major factor. Men are only slightly more likely than women to behave this way.

For the study, students at the University of Georgia, the University of North Carolina and Case Western Reserve University completed a booklet that measured their self-esteem, narcissism and love styles.