Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

Is he cheating?

HAS HE BEEN FAITHFUL?
I always thought hed been faithful. Its such a thing of honor with him. And, he says family is everything. And, we have so much sex I wonder how he can have any more. My therapist has asked me these questions a few times. So did my attorney.

I always thought of cheating as something you do in a house or hotel or other place with a bed or something that takes a little time. However a friends husband went outside for a smoke with her friend and 10 minutes later came back in. Turns out a little kiss turned into a quickie. Hmmm I guess it can happen like that.

Am I in denial? Are these signs?

1)Every now and then he will back off sex for a week or two. This is HIGHLY unusual. He usually says he doesnt feel good.

2)He gets crushes on my girlfriends. I know which ones. Hes turns on the charm with a lot of women, but more so to certain ones. These spurts have big spaces in between. And, they last for a few months or more. Then, end. In fact, hed talk for 30 minutes when certain friends call me.
One time the evil flirting woman called during sex and he wanted me to keep talking. Oh, gross.

After evil flirting woman dissed me big time, he accused me of being too sensitive. And was charming with her in public, hugs and big smiles. At the same time, accusing me of being too sensitive, over reacting, having emotional issues and maybe we should be separated if I was going to be that way.

He justified being friendly with evil flirting woman because shes a client. Small, teeny profits for him. But he'd fire other small accounts.

He has a new crush the charming, flirty woman with the cheater-husband. I warned her about his crush. She flirts hard and comforts him. Yikes, another friend told me charming, flirty woman put the moves on her husband.

Twelve years ago, another friend dissed me. He stayed friends because shes a client. So, theyd talk at a party and leave me out. She suggested a name for our first son. He pushed for it. I later found it it was her idea. I was so glad I vetoed it. I suspected something with her but thought at least I liked her as a friend. And, at the time, we were having so much sex Id be happy for the backup sex.

Do these friends stop talking to me because they get into a relationship with him? Janet, Mary Beth, Fay, Aaron and others?

3) He would have the time because he has no set schedule. He could be otherwise engaged when he works late or goes to work out. I'm always happy when he's late.

4) Maybe he can handle more sex than I think maybe he is a sex addict.

5) Hes always suspicious and needs to know what Im doing all the time. Guilty conscience?

All I can say is GET YOURSELF TESTED and DO IT NOW! If he lies about other things and you're suspecting it, then it's more than likely a strong possibility. Our intuition isn't wrong. He's taken so much from you, please don't let him take your health and possibly your life. For your sake and for the sake of your children, listen to your gut and GET TESTED.

From everything you've told us, he has many narcissistic traits, and what you're describing here sounds like a Somatic N. You may want to read up on this prachelle, only to show you that this behavior has nothing to do with you, just his need for constant admiration (supply) as an N.

if he's Narcisstic it has nothing to do with hissex drive, or that hes an addict...It has everything to do with the ego inflation he gets from the attention. I never thought mine was cheating either. he seemed like he was always with me. or on the phone with me. But he was cheating, alot. believe me, they find the time.

I think his abuse of you is more devastating than any infidelity he may have carried out. While it's easy to call infidelity a breaking of the marriage vow, he broke your vows when he abused you.

Your lawyers want to know because it gives you a bigger bargaining chip come settlement time.

I'm also sensitive to the topic because I had an affair with a mutual friend 10 days before I moved out. It was easy for people to understand that I had been unfaithful, but less easy for people to understand that I had been emotionally abused and was absolutely desperate for any sort of positive reinforcement.

Your intuition usually is right on the money. If we only listened to it and not deny and make excuses. Mine found it especially &quot;stimulating&quot; to have more than one woman. The thrill of getting caught, the extra attention. He did admit to these things when asked.

Get tested, I know it is embarrassing but it is better to be safe. Yes it does only take a couple of minutes when stimulated through &quot;flirting&quot;.

Sorry Prach, I know that this will be a hurtful situation if it is true, even if you are done with him. It will just be another betrayal, and reason why you left and are staying gone.

When I divorced it never even OCCURRED to me that my husband cheated. It wasn't until years later I found out he had been seeing the girlfriend AFTER me for 6 years prior to our seperation.

They worked together. She was not attractive and was very heavy which my Ex was an absolute fat bigot. But she was available. I think thats all it took. His ego couldn't pass it up, and geez did he love sex.

About a year after we split up, he beat the crap out of her. Held her face down in dogfood and told her to lick it up. Found that out by looking at one of the 6 restraining orders they had on each other. For all I know they may be married now.

*sigh*ds REALLY needs to notifiy us before arbitrarilly signing us out. It doesn't seem to matter whether we're in process of typing a journal, a thread or commenting on either. We don't find out until we click "post." Then POOF, we're signed out and everything we typed is GONE! We just get summarily signed out WITHOUT ANY NOTICE. THIS causes us to lose whatever we typed. We should...

So, I seem to remember reading on the last update, that we would now stay signed in for a week. Did I misread that?Because, I am still signed out if I walk to the washroom and back. Forget a week! Am I the only one experiencing this lack of being able to stay signed in? If so, I will contact DS. If not, then let’s discuss!Thanks!

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