Grandma JoJo in the McDonalds Drive through, after the guy gave her the food..

JoJo: "Thanks a million."

Mary: "Was his name amillion?"

Mary: "Hey mom..I know what time it is.

Becky: "Oh really, well, what time is it?"

Mary: "It is 3 PMS"

After an entier day of Sam bawling his eyes out from getting his two year molars.

Mary: "Dad, I am sick of babies crying all day. I just need to go somewhere where I can be a kid...like Chucky Cheeses."

(the commercial for the place says "where a kid can be a kid." She has never been there, and neither have I, but obviously, we will go soon.

This is a conversation Mary had on the phone with grandma.

"I have too many necklaces, so my mom bought some hookers. We put the hookers in my room and I put all of my necklaces and bracelets on them. Now my necklaces aren't all over anymore. I like my hookers."

(she is talking about the hooks I hung on her wall in her "Diva Corner.")

Mom: Hey Mary guess what! I have a baby in my tummy. You will get a new baby brother or sister soon.

Mary: Looking at my tummy..."Well, where is it?"

Mom: It is so small that you can't tell it is there yet. In a while the baby will get bigger and so will mommy's tummy. Then you will be able to see it all better.

Mary: Oh yeah! And then you POP!!!!

Mom: No, I don't exactly "pop" Mary.

Mary: Of course you do, just like a balloon. They get bigger and bigger and then they just pop! Don't be scared mom, it will be o.k. , I really like balloons.

Mary: (holding up a dollar she found). "Hey mom, I have some cash!"

Mom: "Sam, you need to behave a little better please."

Sam:"But mom, I am being have.

Mom:"huh?"

Sam: "how can I be have if I don't even know who have is?"

Mom: Mary's lets get in the car. Mary: Are we taking the "stick?" (she meant stick shift, cracks me up)

Dad:"Sam, have fun at preschool and remember what we talked about ok."

Sam:"I know,I know, be nice to the humans."

Mary: Why do you not say anything when you read your scriptures? Ben: Because I read them in my head, kind of like when Jesus speaks to us, he speaks to us in our minds.

Mary: Well, how does Jesus fit in there?

Mary: Pointing to a complete stranger sitting on the sidewalk smoking.. "See mom, there is the man ( it was actually a woman) that smokes. He is going to DIE!!!"

Luckily the woman just laughed and said, "she is probably right."

Mary: "I saw Jesus' foot today, he almost stepped on our house."

Mary.."So mom, is Jesus' middle name Christ?" Is His name Jesus Christ Maynard?"

Mary: "Grandma came here and told me to do it, then she left really fast."

Mary: when she is in trouble (yelling) "mom...here's the deal, lets just talk about it, you are my very best friend!"

Mary: "I have a baby in my tummy. His name is Choko, he is 36months old."