A Letter To My “Typical” Kids

There are so many times when I have to urgently care for your sister and it takes me a while to do what you’ve asked, or to be able to sit and listen. I know it can feel like you’re invisible sometimes. I’m so, so sorry. I promise you that I’ll never stop trying to be the best version of myself that I can be. Even then, I will fall short. In those moments, know that you can turn to Jesus who will never fail you. Just trust me when I tell you…I see you. You could never be invisible to me.

I want you to know that you were chosen.

Some may tell you that the struggles we’re facing are happening by chance. That there’s no rhyme or reason…life is just tough. God tells you that nothing happens by chance. That you and this life you’re living are a part of His plan. Though it may be difficult, these difficulties are meant to draw your heart closer to His. If you allow it, these struggles will develop your character. And your character is more important to Him than your comfort. These struggles will change the course of your life. They open up your heart to hold more compassion, more grace, and more love than you ever thought possible. Though having a sibling with special needs can be filled with heartache, it’s also filled with a joy deeper than you could ever imagine. A joy some people never get to experience. I could tell early on that God had prepared your hearts for this journey…You love her better than anyone else does. Regardless of how challenging each day is, you are always there, ready and willing to play with her and love on her just as she is. You don’t see her through the lens of disability, you just see her. Though it’s not always easy, you love with your whole heart. That is a gift that she, and I, cherish more than you’ll ever know. And, though it may be hard for her to tell you, she loves you with her whole heart right back!

I want you to know that you are special.

There will always be a lot of talk about how your sister has special needs and is a special person…you are special too! I know that sharing the attention that you get can be hard. And it will seem, a lot of the time, that your sister’s accomplishments are more valued than yours. The truth is that you are so much more valuable than you can even understand. God made each of you with unique personalities and special talents, and Daddy and I are so very proud who you are and all that you do. We will always try to take the time to show and tell you how much we admire the incredible people that you are. The world will often label you as your sister’s “typically developing” siblings. They’ll compare you to her and point out how “typical” you are. But I want you to remember, in God’s eyes (and in mine) you are all but typical. You are in no way ordinary. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are brave…you are you. And that’s exactly what makes you special. You are such a blessing… Our family, and God’s plan, wouldn’t be complete without you!

I want you to know that you are loved.

I know I tell you all the time. But I also know that living this life is so hard that it can leave you confused. It can make you feel alone. It can make it hard to feel that love sometimes. Just remember…your Daddy and I (and even God!) dreamed of all of you long before you were born. I have loved you long before I knew you, and I’ll love you long after you grow up and have babies of your own. You are more precious to me than words could ever say. And my love is big enough to cover you…no matter what we face, no matter what you struggle with, no matter how you feel…my love for you is simply true. It only grows. Every moment I love you more.