Toddler Mealtime Meltdowns

Updated: March 2, 2015

Picky eating is par for the course in the toddler years — but there are ways to avoid food fights.

Take one stubborn, easily frustrated 31-month-old. Add a hearty helping of resistance to change. Toss in one to two concerned parents and maybe a couple of grandmas and caregivers. Mix in three healthy meals daily, plus snacks, and what have you got? A recipe for a toddler-sized disaster!

Most toddlers go through a picky-eater phase at some time or another, refusing all but a few favorite foods for months on end. For some kids, it's an effort to exert control in one of the few ways they really can (the old "you can lead a toddler to the table, but you can't make her eat"). For others, anything unfamiliar (green apples when she's used to red ones or a favorite cereal in a newly designed box) is cause for alarm since toddlers are naturally inflexible (but you knew that, right?). It's best not to make a big deal of these food fixations. Instead, just continue to offer lots of healthy choices, including the favored foods that you know your child will eat, and try your best to seal your lips from making comments and critiques. (If you're worried about nutrition, ask your child's doctor if she should take a vitamin supplement.)

Another possible reason behind pickiness: Your toddler is just not that interested in food. She's far too busy playing, looking at books, or chasing the dog around the dining room. For many little kids, sitting still at the table is a fate akin to being held captive in those other toddler torture devices: the stroller and the car seat. So don't insist that your child sit at the table with you for a full meal; she just might not have the patience yet. If she's done long before you are, let her go.

Whether your child is finicky or voracious, make every effort to avoid fighting over food. Nagging, pushing, and punishing are unlikely to succeed (in fact, they'll probably backfire) and may even cause more serious eating issues later. The idea is to help your child tune into her body's own signals (of hunger and satiety, taste and distaste) so that eventually, she sees food as a happy means to a healthy life.

From the What to Expect editorial team and Heidi Murkoff, author of What to Expect the Second Year. Health information on this site is based on peer-reviewed medical journals and highly respected health organizations and institutions including ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists), CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), as well as the What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff.