I’m the father of a beautiful and mischievous almost-two-year-old named Kassidy. She has changed my life in ways I never imagined, but it wasn’t the endless sleepless nights and sometimes terrifying diaper changes that surprised me the most about fatherhood.

In fact, it isn’t the tangible things at all, but more the intangible ones that still knock me for a loop on a daily basis.

Things like:

Love: Before Kassidy, I thought the epitome of emotional bliss was romantic love. You know, where you meet someone, you have that first kiss and you get those butterflies. Then she came along and I realised that the love and worry you feel for this little person just trumped that. Completely. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife with all my heart, but this… this is something different.

Childbirth: Speaking of my wife, Donika, I have never been more proud of her than I was the day she gave birth to our daughter. She was a champ for the entire day and the experience of being there with her throughout the process was wonderful. That said… I have never felt more helpless than I did on that day. There she was, birthing our daughter and all I could do was rub her back and hold her hand. It was definitely a humbling experience.

Jealousy: When I imagined being a father, I pictured coming in the door at the end of the day and my daughter flying joyfully into my arms. What I didn’t imagine is that this wouldn’t happen automatically. It was easier for Donika, who breastfed and spends most of her time with Kassidy. I, on the other hand, would have to earn it. I also didn’t anticipate how jealous I would feel as a result. I mean, part of me understood it, but I didn’t like it. So I made it my mission to spend all of my free time with Kassidy. Instead of going to Grandma’s house when her mom’s busy, she limes with Daddy, and it’s time I really enjoy.

Children’s TV: I didn’t expect to get as familiar with Disney shows as I’ve gotten. I really get into Sophia the First, to the extent that I’m waiting for the episode where they reveal that her mom Game of Thrones’d the king’s last wife. (How else did she just up and marry a king?) I also look forward to Junior Express, even though I don’t understand a word of it... because it’s in Spanish. And Kassidy and I love doing the hotdog dance from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Try it sometime.

Most of all, I didn’t expect how much I would love just watching her be. When she was tiny, I couldn’t wait until she started developing her distinct personality, and now it’s here. And it’s big, as is her actor’s projection (no clue where she could’ve gotten that). Sometimes I’ll just sit and watch her move around, deciding which way to go, what toy to play with and marvel. Other times, I’ll try not to laugh when she bites me or licks my cheek for no good reason (hey, it’s how we bond).

Who could have guessed that fatherhood would be this great?

Kearn Samuel is an actor, singer, television host and Baby Babble announcer who somehow finds time to also be the only person from whom his daughter Kassidy will take her night-time bottle of tea. He’s thoroughly enjoying watching her grow up while simultaneously refusing to accept that she won’t be his little baby girl forever. Because, of course, she will.