Friday, June 18, 2010

1238. That is the exact number of miles from my previous home to my new home. Once again we hopped on to the train of life and started over full speed ahead. This time it feels different, this beginning smells of fresh air, it smells of happy, it smells of hope with a little city smog for good measure. Most people don't understand how we do it, how we are able to, at the drop of a hat, pack up and move on. Others tell me how envious they are of just that. The thing is that to me a home is not 4 walls, or a specific place, to me home is a feeling. That feeling of warmth, of security, of love, of butterflies. Knowing that no matter where in the world you are, you are in the right place at the right time and as long as we are together everything will be fine.

To be quite honest, places tend to bore me so I wholeheartedly embrace change. And this time, change I will get. For starters I had never been to my new home before, not to visit, or driven through, nothing, ever. I am also from an Island so by nature I don't handle cold weather too gracefully and my new home is literally twenty minutes away from Canada...so I guess I better get used to it or start eating whale fat...ha! Also, for the first time since the invention of electricity I will not have to work for a living. Yes people, I am divorcing the restaurant industry. And it's not amicable, not at all. I now live in New York, the grand state of New York, Buffalo to be exact. Where dreams are made and broken. Just the thought of the possibilities brings tears to my eyes, expands my waistline and overdrafts my bank account.

I have been here exactly 113 hours and I am already in love. I'm in love with the air, I'm in love with the trees, I'm fascinated by the architecture, I salivate over the food. I don't get tired of walking up and down the sidewalks for miles and miles, and I'm sure those of you that know me know how shocking this statement is since I'm chronically allergic to any kind of exercise!

I simply can not wait to be an active member of the community, to make friends (gasp!), do something for the city, anything to leave my mark. I am going to start a writing internship with a local magazine that has a strong online presence, my heart flutters just thinking about it, I get to write, to write and be read. I am so happy about it that I'm not even scared or intimidated by the judgemental eye of the readers although I know it can be brutal sometimes mostly because us writers always leave a little piece of ourselves on the page. We don't take criticism lightly...

Today we are going to a wonderful place, a place filled with smells, flavors, colors and endless possibilities; the farmers market. Food excites me, and quite frankly eating it is not solely the exciting part. I rejoice in every single little step; from looking at the ingredients on display, smelling them, picking them, walking home thinking about all I will prepare, washing it, chopping it, smelling it again, the anticipation when cooking it and that sensation you get in your mouth when you look at it and start to salivate...Doesn't it make you hungry?

I believe this is why I am so in love with this city, it is because of this city that I get to experience all of these things that until now I have only dreamed of. Now it will all become a part of my life, and I really love my life right now, so much that I'm a little scared that at some point someone is going to pull the rug from under me...But enough of that, no more negative thoughts. It's because of those negative thoughts that we sometimes don't fully enjoy things in life, because somehow we don't feel like we deserve it, like our life isn't fully ours, and we choose to enjoy those moments cautiously and not passionately as they quickly pass us by.

Today, I vow to enjoy every single moment with hair pulling, heart racing, sweat inducing passion, I am going to hug and kiss my life every day. I will fully absorb every sight, every sound, every smell so if my gypsy heart takes me somewhere else I don't have to look back and cry, I will look forward and smile.