Andrea & I

Every day I take the red line subway in-town from Porter Square in Cambridge. Every day I see about the same people from the train get on the Red Line and every evening I usually see a number of the same people on their way back to Porter Square. I will watch a pretty woman get on the train but as a rule I am reading a book and don't notice who gets on.

Today was no different from any other day or so it seemed, as least, until I got on the subway going to Porter Square and there catch the train home. I was sat down on the subway train. I noticed I was sitting next to a very pretty woman I had seen on the platform where I got on. I thought it best to just read my book as usual and keep my mind off other things. My mind is not known for obeying me and I could not help looking at this woman sitting next to me. I had noticed she seemed to be reading my book with me.

"It's a pretty good book," I said to her.

"Excuse me?" she said inquiringly.

"This book, it's really pretty good. It's on the New York Times best seller list." I said. "I'm sorry. I guess it doesn't make any difference at all and it was rude of me to be so forward. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be so apologetic! I was reading your book, I just missed what you said to me." she replied.

"Bad day?" I inquired. I looked down and saw her wedding ring. I silently shrugged to myself.

"If it were a bad day that would be an improvement!" I expected her to continue but she paused reflectively for a few moments. "You don't need to hear this from me. I'm angry, yes, but that doesn't mean I have to take it out on you. I'm sure you would rather read your book anyway," she said in a very matter of fact way.

"That's okay," I replied, "I don't mind listening to you at all. As I have been this forward so far I may as well finish it off by telling you how I find it a pleasure to listen to a lady as pretty as you."

She blushed noticeably and then said, "Thank you. I wish my fucking husband would tell me that once in a while." She paused a moment. "I'm sorry. My language gets really bad when I'm angry. It's just that I'm going home while he's going to a formal affair in New York for his company. He knew about it a long time before he left, I know he did, but he says he didn't. I called one of the other wives who isn't going and she told me there really is a formal affair and that spouses were invited. Does that jerk husband of mine invite me? No!! He's probably got a girlfriend down there he wants to see. It certainly wouldn't be the first."

"So why do you stay with him? Why don't you divorce him?" I asked.

"I still love him. I know, I know, I'm playing the fool but I just can't seem to leave him," she said with a bit of a plaintive sigh in her voice.

I heard the crackling voice of the conductor announce Porter Square over the subway car speakers. I wanted to say something but I choked on my words.

"Well, this is my stop," she said.

"Oh! It's mine too," I was happy to relate. I hoped she'd be on the commuter train as well.

We got off the train together and went up the escalators. After passing through the turnstiles it was obvious we were going in different directions. We paused and looked at each other waiting for one of us to say something.

"My name is Andrea," she said. "I live a short distance from here."

"My name is David and I live quite a distance from here," I said and smiled broadly. We looked at each other and laughed.

"Are you married?" She queried.

"Um yeah, I am, unfortunately," I lied. It seemed it might be better or easier for her if she thought I were married too.

"You don't wear a wedding band," she said quickly.

"It's my denial of the marriage. It's not a happy scene."

"I see," she said. "I would invite you to my house but you've got to get home.

"My wife isn't home now. She told me this morning she'd be getting home late from the hospital but she didn't say how late. A simple phone call can take care of that, the answering machine you know."

"Your wife is a doctor?" Andrea asked.

"Yes," I replied pausing to collect my thoughts on where to take this story. I wondered why I had felt it necessary to concoct this story in the first place. It immediately occurred to me that it gave the appearance of my being "safe" as opposed to someone who was single. I questioned my logic. "She's a gastroenterologist, a surgeon," I continued finally, "You know, a stomach doctor?" Andrea laughed at my last statement and appeared to believe the story.

"Won't she mind your staying out late?"

"If she knew I were with another woman you can be certain she would mind."

"So what will you tell her?"

"Simple, that I am going out with some clients from out of town. That I might be late et cetera." I thought of how deceitful this sounded and how it might put me in a bad light. Thankfully Andrea let the statement pass without further comment.

I made the phone call while we were still at Porter Square on the pretense that I'd feel quite safe for the next 4 or 5 hours at least. I walked with Andrea down Mass. Ave. to a small side street where her apartment was. I happened to look at the street sign, Chauncy Street and thought how very proper it sounded. Her house was the third one down on the right. It was a wooden frame house that had once been a single family residence and recently had been converted to a multi-family house like the others that were on either side it. We went up the wooden steps and into the house. She led me to the left into the living room and asked me to sit which I did.

"Would you like something to drink?" she offered.

"Sure, I'd love a scotch and soda, no ice."

"Good drink! I think I'll join you in the same."

I was looking Andrea over really well for the first time. She was even more beautiful than I had first noticed on the Red Line. Her auburn hair was just shoulder length and was set off by her emerald green eyes and dark skin. She stood about five feet nine inches tall. I had always preferred taller than average women. I tried to get a sense of her figure but it was hidden by a loose fitting blouse. Still, she is a woman who would delight the eyes of any man. Her beauty extended from the obvious external to a lively and warm personality.

"I don't have much to offer you in the way of dinner. I could make us some roast beef sandwiches if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind at all. That sounds just fine to me."

"Good!" she said and disappeared into the kitchen. In just a short time Andrea reappeared carrying a tray-table that had our dinner upon it. She had really done a good job as I could see the sandwiches were on bulky rolls with lettuce and tomato on them, a pickle on the side and even some bottled water for us to enjoy.

"Amazing!" I said, "You did all this so quickly!"

"Really, it was nothing. Most of it was already prepared anyway and I had only to put it on the tray. It was nothing."

"Well, nothing to you is wonderful to me." I said.

Andrea was visibly pleased with my compliments. That made me happy as well. It made me feel good. I raised my drink to Andrea and said, "To you, a beautiful and endearing hostess."

"Thank you. You are too kind." Andrea smiled and said no more.

We ate in silence. Andrea tried to keep her eyes averted but she caught me looking upon her. We finished our meal rather quickly.

"Why do you look at me so much?" Andrea asked quite unexpectedly.

"There are so many reasons why." I was hoping she'd ask me for some. She did.

"Well, tell me a couple then."

"Well, as I've said you are really pretty. I love being with a pretty woman. You are also very kind. I can tell that just by the way you are. You took me, a total stranger, to your apartment with no apprehension at all. The only thing I can figure for your trust of me is that you are so young and trusting and I'm just old enough to look safe. But that's the part that gets me. Why should someone your age want anything to do with someone my age?"

"I'm 24 and I think I'm old enough to decided who I want to be with. As to your age, well, just because you're 30 something really means nothing to me."

"Oh don't I wish I were 30 something. I'm more like 40 something."

"Well, you certainly don't look it or act it. Christ, my husband is 28 and you'd think he were 68 by the way he acts. You, on the other hand, act a lot closer to what I really like, young!"

"Phew! This is beginning to sound like a mutual admiration society."

"It is, isn't it." Andrea said and looked at me directly in my eyes. I was looking at two green eyes that I felt were looking down into my heart and soul and into my mind and could see all my thoughts. There was something else about the way she was looking at me. It felt warm and comforting. With that I leaned toward Andrea and kissed her lightly on her cheek. I was afraid of her rebuff. None came. I kissed her again only this time I put my arms around her and pulled us together. The kiss was very long and very deep and when we finally stopped I could feel all the carnal desires I have rising to the surface.

"Should we be doing this?" Andrea asked.

"I think you know the answer to that," I replied. "I think the better question is, is this something we can do without regret?"

"I think it is," she responded quickly.

"So do I." I said and continued, "But I cannot be a one night stand. That is something that goes against my very being. What I'm saying is . . . ."

"You want me to be your mistress." Andrea responded. "I'd be delighted to be your mistress. You know how to make me feel good and oh lord it's been so long since I've felt really good."

"No," I replied, "I don't want you to be my mistress."

"What then?" Andrea asked impatiently, "What would you have me as?"

"I'd much prefer us to be lovers." I replied

Andrea smiled and said, "I like that better too. David, you certainly know how to make a woman feel good about herself."

I was struck by how quickly things were moving, not that I was against such a thing, however any time this had happened before it was with a woman who had none of the class and poise Andrea possessed. I could not let this pass without comment. "I don't know how to put this," I said fumbling for just the right words to say to her.

"What's that?" Andrea asked with a devilish grin on her face.

"Well, you've only known me," I looked at my watch, "well, I mean," I hated myself when I stumbled over my words, "this is all happening so quickly."

"Oh," Andrea said looking at me in a puzzled way. "I have offended you? If I have I'm sorry. I am absolutely never this forward and I guess I would not be now if I were not so angry with my husband!" Andrea said this forcefully.

"So you are doing this just to get back at him?" I asked feeling a bit used.

"Let me tell you one thing about me," Andrea said in a stern voice. I felt I was about to be scolded. I was right in a way, "I almost never do anything I wouldn't do under any other circumstance. This, of course, is a departure from that and I'm glad. I promise you that he will pay in spades but this is entirely something else. I am doing this because I really liked you from the moment you first spoke to me on the subway and because I really want to be with you. Does that suit you?"

I feared I had really put Andrea off and that the feelings of the moment were now irrevocably lost. "I'm sorry," I said looking down at the floor like a school boy, "that was very rude and thoughtless of me."

"No, I am happy that you said it now," Andrea said surprising me once again. "You have reaffirmed in me that I am correct about you. I think many men, if not most, would have just taken advantage of the situation without ever saying what you just said. You took a real chance there," Andrea said and paused. I feared the ax was about to fall but her face softened. "You've won my complete respect for saying that. Now, do you want to stay down here all evening discussing philosophy or do you think there's something we might both enjoy a lot more?" Andrea's impish grin had returned and I smiled back at her. We both realized nothing further needed to be said.

Andrea took my hand and led me up the stairs and into her bedroom. I noticed immediately how neat everything looked. I thought to myself that this is the touch of a woman who cares and makes the time to take care of the simple things that make a difference. The bed was a king size and looked delightfully comfortable. I was feeling a bit tired from the day so I leapt upon the bed and sank into it. Andrea laughed at me, then smile, then began to undress. She took her skirt off first. That took a whole 5 seconds. Next she took off her blouse. It was this blouse that had so well hidden her charms so well. Her figure was wonderful. I felt she was not interested in men gawking at her as I felt certain they would. I also noticed her legs. They were long and athletic looking. I started to undress myself. She pushed the shirt from my shoulders and off me entirely. My shirt had no sooner fallen upon the bed when Andrea was kissing me on my chest telling me how much she loved a man with a hairy chest. I volunteered to bring it around frequently. She laughed.

"Okay, what's wrong?" she asked. "Was it something I said?"

"Actually it was something you said and that's good. Andrea, I want to make love to you more than you can believe. But when we are done making love I want to feel good about it. You know what I mean? I don't want to feel guilty."

"I agree and I know I will feel marvelous."

"How do you know that?"

"Simple. You care about me, you like me and I think given time you might even love me. These are the same feelings I have for you too. They have to be. Otherwise, it would be just a fuck and I don't want just a fuck. I want to be made love to."

With that I took Andrea into my arms, looked directly into her eyes and then gave her a long deep warm kiss. It was a kiss with so much love in it there was no way for her to miss it and she didn't. Her return kiss was equal to mine and as full of desire as I have ever felt from any woman. We kissed for what seemed like hours and when we broke for a minute neither of us could say a word. I gave Andrea one more short but loving kiss.

"Mmmmmm delicious!" she said.

"And we're just getting started too!" I exclaimed.

We made love continuously for the next several hours. I had not felt this alive in a very long time however Andrea seemed to have the ability to draw me out and bring out the very best in me. I thought possibly I had the same effect upon her as she responded in kind to my touch. We lost ourselves in each other and were like two animals in heat. Each time we slowed down as to catch our breath something inside each of use ignited us once again into a passion filled frenzy of love. Each time we desperately tried to outdo the last and each time we believed we succeeded. Finally, out of pure exhaustion we fell to each other's side but with our arms still wrapped tightly about each other as if letting go would mean it would be ended and neither of us was ready to admit that though we also knew we had well satisfied our carnal desires but we had also found a spark of love between us which we grew. Now that the spark seemed to have become a fire we wanted to assure nothing would put it out and so we held on tightly to each other as if all depended on that.

We lay in each other's arms for a very long time. We were now content to hold each other and enjoy our closeness. From time to time one of us would kiss the other and each time a little explosion went off in our bodies and our minds. We were happy and we were very contented. Any thoughts of guilt were absent from our minds, a love had spawned and neither of us needed to say a word of this, we seemed to instinctively know it existed between us. Our bodies and minds were drained so this quiet time seemed ever so much in order. Every now and then to lean over and kiss her cheek. Each time she'd smile and rub my thigh with her hand briefly.

A good half hour must have passed before either of us said a word. I was the one who broke the silence. "Andrea, my love," I said softly, "I must be going or there'll be no excuse my wife will accept."

"Yes," she said and paused, "I'd forgotten that you're married."

"As are you," I added.

"I had actually forgotten that you know but," she paused, "but I wish we weren't. This has been so good I feel greedy. I want it all the time."

"Well, we agreed that this would not be a one night stand. You are going to see me again aren't you?"

"Of course I am but you know what I mean." Andrea replied looking for reassurance.

"Yes, I do know what you mean but I love my wife and I think you love your husband." I thought about that for a second and then asked, "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I know, I do know," she responded, "but this relationship of ours feels so good. I do even feel guilty like I think I should. I always want more than I can have," she said with a sigh. "There is one difference though," she continued, "I think my husband is screwing around on me and you and your wife are happy with each other."

"We are. It's a good thing you didn't say faithful because as of tonight I'm screwing around on her which make me no better than your husband. What does that say for me?"

"Yeah, there's just no other way to think of it and still be honest," I said.

"Well, I don't want to be the one who breaks up your marriage."

"I don't want that either. So do you think we should forget about continuing?"

"No!" Andrea said emphatically, "I just want to know that all will be well."

I took Andrea's head in my hands and while looking into her eyes said, "That's the same thing I want too and I will work extra hard to keep things that way. I really think this is something we are going to have to play out and be damn careful in doing so."

Andrea paused briefly and said something most curious and yet wonderfully complimentary, "David, you could make an old woman feel young, you know?"

I didn't know what to say to that and stammered out with an, "Ahhhhh, yeah."

We kissed good-night again, a long and loving kiss. Andrea had led me to the front door, stopped, and kissed me one more time. I knew I loved her already and it felt as if she already loved me too. I left, slowly walking over the porch and down the steps to the street.

First one week then a second passed. Andrea and I had no problem finding time talking on the phone. We did have an enormous problem in finding a spot available in our schedules that was good for both of us to get together. A third week passed and then a fourth. Andrea was becoming as anxious as was I. It was good to know that it wasn't just me. My hope of being with her again was beginning to dissolve.

It was a Wednesday. I was at a computer trade show in Boston. I had arrived early to avoid the crowds I was sure were going to be there by noon. In wandering around I bumped into Andrea.

"What brings you here?" I asked. I hadn't mentioned the show to her so I knew it wasn't me.

"I enjoy these sort of things too you know," she retorted.

The pause which followed was deafening. Andrea was first to break it by suggesting we go right then back to her apartment. I don't think I've ever answered yes to a question in my life quite so quickly. I thought we were going to break into a run as we headed back.

Once in her apartment we both left a trail of clothes to the bedroom. For the next two hours we made such passionate love one would have thought we'd never done it before. Finally we collapsed in each others arms and just lay there.