It took about a year before it truly sank in that she was really gone.Forever.I was in the shower washing my hair and an overwhelming wave of despair and desperation washed over me.I remember falling to my knees and just sobbing violently...it was the first time I really let myself fall apart.Or maybe it’s not right to say “I let myself” because I didn’t really have a choice.My mind, body and heart had reached capacity and something took over me.

It wasn’t until the water turned ice cold that I was brought back to reality.I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower a different person than when I had stepped in.It took a year…but I had begun to acknowledge that my mom was dead.