Should I get my own place?

Hi. I'm 19, turning 20 this april. I still live at home and it's really beginning to bother me. Not so much what other people think, but my parents are being pain in the arses. I have a job, and if I really wanted to, I could get my own place. The up's and down's are as follows:

UP's
- I can do whatever I want
- I'm not forced to listen to my parents and follow their rules
- It would be alot more convenient when having guests

DOWN's
- I wouldn't be able to afford much more than my place and food
- I'd have to cook, clean and wash my own clothes all the time
- My parents wouldn't want it, since they don't think I'm ready for it, and they might even feel hurt

Should I do it? It's a tough decision. I wouldn't be able to afford partying very much, and it'd be alot more work. But on the other hand, I'm getting really tired of living at mom and dad's in my crappy little room, and I'm tired of their comments on who I bring home and that we have to be quiet after 11pm or whatever.

It's their house, not yours. You're a grownup now. Act like one, or live off the parents with a smile on your face.

You can't blame them for wanting a bit of peace in their lives. And imagine, from a parent's point of view, when their progeny grows up and stays with them instead of hitting life on his own. I'd think they would feel like they failed somehow. It would sure make me crabby.

Hes totally not ragging on his parents, hes going about this in a rather mature fashion so you should back up a bit.

I say you just set a date youll start looking and save your money, its easier to get a place with friends too usually.

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Your second sentence makes plenty of sense, it's a good plan.

As far as backing up, well...I doubt he's seeing things from his folks' point of view, so I'm helping him. He asked for advice, he's got it. Time to grow up, make plans, and be a man; everyone benefits from it and his parents will probably help him however they can.

If you can do it for sure without any possibility of it falling through and you having to go back to your parents house, I say go for it.

Try and get a friend to help ease costs. Cooking isn't that big a deal, sandwiches and such are easy and most breakfast stuff is fast and easy. Dinners can be easy if you get a cookbook, there are some that have "thirty minute meals" that are easy enough for me to follow without messing it up.

Yeah, I'm in the exact same position as you. Living at home with my parents turning 20 this year.

But to second Amra, why arn't you doing all those things anyways? I do cooking and cleaning around my house all the time. And for laundry? I was taught at the young age of 10 how to do my own laundry. Ever since then, no one else has touched my smelly underwear.

My cons are a bit different though. The main reason I'd want to move out is for privacy, but if you rent an apartment with another friend, then it kinda defeats the purpose. But without someone else, its hard to afford anything other then rent and food.

So now I'm just sitting at home, saving all my money from work and leaching food and shelter untill i figure out what I want to do.

If you want to follow your own rules and have the money, go for it. If your parents' rules are reasonable especially since it's their house and they did bring you up, you should just follow.

Here in Hawaii, many teens and even twenty somethings stay with their parents because the median price of a single home now is $550,000. Try using your little salary on that, that's like having to pay $3,000 per month on your mortgage alone. That said, I share a house with my brother after my parents got rid of the place we used to stay in. At the moment, my parents are staying in me and my brother's house. But then again, I don't have a problem with my parents or their rules even in my house as they are pretty reasonable people plus I respect them a lot.

Bah, don't worry about it. I didn't move out until I was 26 (well, not counting the time I spent at college). My brother is almost 25 and he would still be there now if he didn't have a girlfriend. Don't put too much romance into the concept of living alone, because it sucks not having any free time anymore. Plus, if you're like me and get along great with your parents, it sucks not having them around to talk to.

It's time for your own place. If you can afford your own place and food, that's all you need. However, if you really need money to go out and party, you can always consider getting a roommate. On this though, even if it's your very best friend, get everything in writing. That's a lot more important that most people starting out realize.

Cleaning and washing clothes can easily be taken care of by your wench of the week. Not to mention acquiring said wench will be easier, since living with your parents at that age doesn't exactly send a strong signal. Plus saying "want to come back to my parent's place" doesn't exactly get those hormones raging. She can even do some of the cooking. It's win/win.

For the rest of the cooking, I'm sure you'll manage. I'm confident in this because if I can manage, anyone can. Cooking isn't exactly my forte, as the 14 stab marks an 6 slash marks in my cookie sheet will tell you.

2 words of wisdom....Paper plates. They're great for those that aren't good at balancing dishes in the sink.

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Freet! I can't believe you. Paper plates should not be used at any occasion. Although I am at times(never at home) guilty of this crime, why use paper plates when it only takes a few minutes to do the dishes. It's not that hard. Is this little bit of effort really worth wasting all that paper?

I know I don't have much say in this, but I really don't think living with parents at 20 is that bad. Sure, it's not awesome, but there are certain things which you must abide to even if you were living with or in close proximity to any other individual. Among others, obviously the noise level has to be kept down at night. The neighbours will hate you if you don't do so. hehehe

I think the most important question is do you get along with your parents? From your negative tone, I can sense a bit of the "I can't stand them anymore" thing going on. If you really get that annoyed at them, really, just get out of there.

Stay with your parents because you enjoy their company and you like spending time with them. If you're just doing it for the money and the advantage of less chores, move. The longer you stay there, the madder you'll get.

MixedVariety said:

It's their house, not yours. You're a grownup now. Act like one, or live off the parents with a smile on your face.

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Exactly my point.

Besides, I heard from some old people *looks at all the daddys out there* hehe, that, regardless of age, kids will always be their parent's babies. It's only natural for our parents to make comments like this because they only want the best for us. Our parents do deserve at least some respect, afterall, as the chinese adage states, "The salt they've eaten is more than the grain we've eaten."

You are going to have to make the break sometime, so what is the point of waiting?

Move out.

Clean your place.

Have a party.

Invite me. :yep:

Then we can sit around and complain about the cost of living on your own.

EDIT: The word filter is strange. I had no idea another word for "complain" would be filtered, especially condsidering some of the words I see slip through. Or maybe my internal filter is askew, and my categories of "semi-bad words" and "really bad words" are no longer up to date. Hmmm, must research current trends in profanity....

Bah, don't worry about it. I didn't move out until I was 26 (well, not counting the time I spent at college). My brother is almost 25 and he would still be there now if he didn't have a girlfriend. Don't put too much romance into the concept of living alone, because it sucks not having any free time anymore. Plus, if you're like me and get along great with your parents, it sucks not having them around to talk to.

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No free time for anything? I have plenty of free time for things and I live alone, pay a mortgage, and work full time (actually slightly longer--9-6:30 is my work day). There are ways to not waste all your free time--cook large meals on the weekends that you can freeze or stick in the fridge. If you have a dishwasher, dishes don't take long at all--rinse, load, run. Laundry? Come on people. I'll admit I'm lazy and don't do it as often as I should, but its really not that hard.

It's expensive, yes. But it's nice. You don't have other people to wake you up, no one to ***** at you for not doing this or that (unless you have a girlfriend), and no one to tell you at what time you should be quiet/in bed/up in the morning.

If you can afford at least two months rent, utilities, and expenses, MOVE THE HECK OUT!!! You don't want to end up living in your parents' house until you're thirty-five. As soon as I have enough money saved up (and my parents don't need me anymore), I'm finding a place of my own.

Parents tend to see their children as the five-year old who needs mommy and daddy to do most everything for them (parents need to feel needed; once their offspring becomes independent, the parents begin to feel obsolete and try to reign in their children; this leads to problems). You have to make it clear that this is YOUR life and because your parents raised you so well, you feel that you can make it on your own. Yes, they will feel a bit hurt, but they will get over it (particularly if you visit them and call them...from time to time).

It's expensive, yes. But it's nice. You don't have other people to wake you up, no one to ***** at you for not doing this or that (unless you have a girlfriend), and no one to tell you at what time you should be quiet/in bed/up in the morning.

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Except if you wake up too late, you get reprimanded at work so you have to Police yourself anyway.

It's not that I don't want to do my own laundry, but I probably won't be able to afford a laundry machine (they're probably not called that in english, right?) and I'd have to go to a laundry service place (erh...) which is pretty expensive here. Most of the cheap places where young people move in don't have such luxurities.

I've decided to give it 6 months to save up and think about it. I suppose the results will be either me getting my own place, or going to America for a month, both of which I've wanted for a long time and costs alot. :thumbsup:

It's not that I don't want to do my own laundry, but I probably won't be able to afford a laundry machine (they're probably not called that in english, right?) and I'd have to go to a laundry service place (erh...) which is pretty expensive here. Most of the cheap places where young people move in don't have such luxurities.

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Many apartment/condominium buildings have one or more laundry units in the basement.

You need to save for retirement, too. Many 20 somethings don't believe it, but it's true. Even if you aren't able to start saving right away, learning how to budget and live off of a lower income is a great skill to have. One of the secrets to retireing early with a ton of money is to live below what you can afford and save what you have left over.

A very common approach to laundry/cooking is to just live relatively close to your parents and do that stuff with them. Laundry is only a weekly to biweekly event that can be done at your parents' house. Most parents are pretty good about letting their kids come home for meals as well. It's probably good to learn how to cook and shop for yourself, but it doesn't have to be every night. If you schedule weekly times to get together for meals then you still get to spend time with the 'rents and get some comfort food as well. You can probably talk your parents into helping you learn how to cook if you need help. If I didn't live 250 miles away from my parents I know I'd be over there for lunch every Sunday.