Of Course Dave Mustaine Thinks Obama Is Staging Every Shooting In America To Steal Your Guns

Metallica is a band comprised of massive egomaniacal assholes, so when someone manages to get kicked out of the band for being too drunk and too much of an asshole, you know they’re an extra special person who has shit figured out. So here’s Dave Mustaine telling an audience in Singapore that Barack Obama staged the deadly Aurora and Sikh Temple shootings because he spends his nights concocting schemes with Dr. Claw to steal your guns. Via TMZ:

“Back in my country, my president … he’s trying to pass a gun ban, so he’s staging all of these murders, like the ‘Fast And Furious’ thing down at the border … Aurora, Colorado, all the people that were killed there … and now the beautiful people at the Sikh temple.”
He continued, “I don’t know where I’m gonna live if America keeps going the way it’s going because it looks like it’s turning into Nazi America.”

This gets a tad TL;DR. Sorry:

Just some background, Dave Mustaine is a moron, so there’s no way he came up with this on his own. He’s parroting an Alex Jones/Infowars “conspiracy theory” that started hours after the Aurora shooting and claimed Obama orchestrated the whole thing so six days later he could sign a treaty with the UN circumventing the 2nd amendment. So, keep in mind, it’s been 28 days since the Aurora shooting and absolutely none of that happened because a. it’s legislatively impossible and b. Alex Jones said it would, so of course it didn’t. And before the crazies jump into the comments saying Dave Mustaine is “speaking the truth” and we should all “wake up,” let me be abundantly clear: No one gives a shit that you have a gun. Your possession of a firearm has not sparked some vast global conspiracy to subjugate you, the gun-toting patriot standing between true liberty and the nigger president, because you are not that important. Which is really the only reason while people cling to these theories and/or religion because their minds can’t comprehend that random shit happens randomly. And as left-leaning as I am, I genuinely feel bad for moderate Republicans who have legitimate issues with Obama’s policies but have to get lumped in with crazy people like Dave Mustaine while their party leaders do absolutely nothing to stamp this shit out even though they couldn’t have stroked out fast enough when the Dixie Chicks merely said they were “disappointed” with George Bush on foreign soil. But back to my main point, random shit happens randomly. Case in point: John Mayer has access to Katy Perry’s huge breasts right now, and if you really believe in your heart that’s part of some divine architect’s master plan, we might as well light ourselves on fire because we’re at the mercy of a giant prick. That’s a step away from making AIDS airborne just ’cause.