Sunday, December 4, 2016

So you think you want to start your own business

So you think it would be fun to open a book store or any
little business of your own for that matter.
Well think again. It’s like
wanting to own your own home—but you never really own it; Mother Nature does. And what with her termites that can eat your
investment in record time or subsidence that will crack your foundation or the
flood that was never suppose to happen, you can never fully depend upon that
house to be truly loyal to you. A
business of your own is the same; it too is subject to the whims of nature, the
economy, gentrification, rent hikes.

For ten
years we had stable rent but at one point a streets project ironically named
Pathways to Progress about shut us down with the deconstruction of the Quarter’s
walk and road ways. And what about the
scaffolding in front of our shop during a renovation, or a couple of hurricane
evacuations that set everyone back. Then
there was the BP Oil Spill—not great for tourism. And the list goes on. Yet throughout the rough times we had good
rent and that kept us in business…until we didn’t. Even the best of landlords will fall for the
pipe dreams of larger rents that real-estate managers put forth. A 115% rent increase was set. We left our
Quarter digs and the space remained pretty much empty for a year. Our former landlord lost revenue and we
nearly lost a business we had grown for ten years.

New
location, fresh start, and enough debt to worry over for the next couple of
decades. You still want your own business? Freedom from the grind of working for the man
and punching a clock? We work seven days
a week with 84 hours of work-related stuff.
No boss per se, but I do wake up staring at the ceiling wondering how to
pay the rent and if we fail, how to pay the lease off.

We have
tried to reinvent our cookbook shop, thinking out of the box, brain storming,
being creative. I now spend hours every
day with my imaginary cyber friends in the hope that they will lead me to
business. I Twit, Twat, Twitter my
fingers and eyeballs. I hash tag inane
words and phrases. I stalk people on FaceBook looking to network with other
businesses. I chase down bike tours with
business cards and offers of clean restrooms and bike racks. I even Tweeted “Hand job and a free beer” (many
“follows” on that one). I have learned
the best ways to attract FaceBook likes and shares—anything with a kitten
photo. You can post “My hair is on fire”
if you show a cute kitten and garner little hearts, smiley faces and
likes. Post a goofy puppy, throw in a
kitten, add some adorable kids, and a mushroom cloud in the backdrop and
everyone will love it—it can go viral even.
However you might not get any retail sales from any of it.

Book
signings with plenty of booze are supposed to help business. Two hours later you have a lot of empty
bottles, some water rings on that circa 1890 cookbook, and you spent half the
time “babysitting” someone’s adorable child who wanted dearly to sit on an
antique chair tagged FRAGILE $400.00.
Great kid, obtuse parent. Sure
there are those loyal customers and friends that will buy any book you throw a
party for out of solidarity. But I just
want to scream when someone with money, means and (otherwise) good manners
chooses to read the damn book, sip wine then leave empty handed. Still and all, my best advice to any book
store would be: throw as many book signing parties as possible—they are
exhausting to host but the goodwill you garner from folks will help and there is great pleasure in helping an
author, they gotta make a living too.

We spent ten
years in the Quarter cultivating a name for ourselves among visitors. We are better known in Australia than in
Uptown New Orleans. We’ve always welcomed
locals; however the Quarter is not “local friendly”. I gave up trying to lure locals living
outside the Quarter due to parking, or lack thereof. Why would anyone want to pay $10 to $50 to
park or risk being booted and/or towed?
So we left the Toulouse Street location and became the new kid in town.
Across town. Locals are fabulous—ya just
have to get ‘em in. We now have free
parking to offer—yes Joni, I’m sorry, they did pave paradise to put up a parking
lot…and we have two of them!

Still, even
with social media, guerrilla marketing (hand painted yard signs, flyers,
joining neighborhood associations, grabbing every radio/ podcast interview
possible) free gift certificates, free booze, chef pop-ups (the best idea so
far), chalk writing Kitchen Witch This
Way on sidewalks—it’s never enough to pay the bills. Add all these efforts to our 5 star YELP rating,
features in major food magazines/newspapers, and the kindness of many--and we
still tread water.

You might think, “But it’s just a
book store, I could run it on a shoestring”.
Think again. Just to be able to
sign a lease you must have insurance and to buy insurance you must have an
alarm/security system. Add
computer/internet, phone, credit card processor/fees, banking fees, Entergy ($660.00
last winter—we hand out sweaters now), clunker car, AAA, insurance, printing,
bags, business cards/brochures.
Inventory: major expense; but rent comes first…oh and those banks loans
and credit debt.

Bottom line: you will be owned by your business.
And in our case it is one that we love dearly. Wish us luck!