February 3, 2006 (idea)

This morning I decided that I don't actually wish to die. Not right now. Not in a positive way, anyway. If I get hit by a bus this week it still wouldn't matter too much to me. What's different about today is that I'm no longer so bothered about the fact that I'm still alive.

I was never the most productive person in the world. I never gave anything to the universe, I spent my life sucking up everything she had to give me and not actually making anything of it. This morning I realised, there's no good in living like this. Like a black hole, I took and never gave.

I vow that from today, I shall (at least try to) give at least as much as I am given. There isn't nearly enough love in the world. I need to do my small part in increasing the love by being good to people. Increasing the love, spreading it around as much as I can. Spreading love and happiness. Maybe then I won't be so dissatisfied with my life, maybe then the world will be a much better place to live in, for everybody.