It's amazing to me that Kinston produces the talent it does. From Maceo Parket to Jaime Pressley and now Dawson, it's a town that's so boring that I suppose people have to make their entertainment. Not bad for a town that teaches the three "R" in school: reading, 'riting, and the Road to Raleigh.

Having work food service for a while, I have no sympathy for people who biatch about service. There are generally good reasons for apparently bad service, and those reasons are usually beyond the staff's control. Also, tip better: that will make staff friendly.

/30 minutes? I waited that long for service the other day and you didn't hear me biatch about it.

Considering you don't tip until after the service is over, this is stupid advice.

Sadly, my level of expectation for customer service is at the point were as long as I'm not being served food that the wait staff has spit, peed, sneezed, or other bodily excreted on, I'm pretty content.

LoneWolf343:Having work food service for a while, I have no sympathy for people who biatch about service. There are generally good reasons for apparently bad service, and those reasons are usually beyond the staff's control. Also, tip better: that will make staff friendly.

/30 minutes? I waited that long for service the other day and you didn't hear me biatch about it.

This. And in my experience, there does exist Customer Standard Time, where customers' perceived time is triple or quadruple the actual time waited. So I wouldn't be surprised if they probably were only waiting around 5-10 minutes.

I'm so confused by this article but at the same time it gives me hope. My husband is a writer and, on a bad day, he shiats better articles than that. Good to know that he'll be in business for a long time.

adenosine:She called back to tell him it worked? Way to kill his 24 hour repeat numbers.

If I call you back to confirm resolution, you miss my call, and it's working... great! Issue resolved. Please don't hurt my metrics.

Sounds like you work for a shiathole company. The kind of support I provide for our customers is a bit different. I'm talking to other technical staff, no joe sixpack. That said, we answer our phones on the first ring (you call, hear a short message about the call being recorded, then *ring* *talking to a person*).We don't have a script or any of that crap. We aren't beholden to dumbass metrics. We just get the problem solved. I've politely helped a number of customers close out their accounts without pressuring them to stay on. Then, a month or two later, helped the same company sign back up. Seems the competition's slightly lower prices weren't such a good deal once you factor in their piss-poor customer support.

The only thing better than hearing about the trivial details of someone's life, is to hear about them filled with bloviated hyperbole as if these details really mattered that much. His pain at restaurants and phone services moved me. A lot!

LoneWolf343:Having work food service for a while, I have no sympathy for people who biatch about service. There are generally good reasons for apparently bad service, and those reasons are usually beyond the staff's control. Also, tip better: that will make staff friendly.

/30 minutes? I waited that long for service the other day and you didn't hear me biatch about it.

I'm sure there was a good reason my Caesar Salad came without croutons and my food was only lukewarm. It obviously wasn't because the restaurant was busy. There were maybe 10 customers there.

matt_in_stl:He referred to his first son/daughter as "Tax Deduction No. 1." Really?

if the author had framed the joke it could be funny, as it is, it just seems to inside joke after inside joke and loses the reader.

what i dont understand is... well ok there are a lot of things in the article that make no sense, maybe with just the tiniest bit of context would at least work but he jumps the rails into hipster douchebag with the following statements.

The guy that habitually showed up 30 seconds before closing with his entire family in tow really needed a couple of weeks at Gitmo.

and

According to the hours posted on the door, they opened at 9 a.m. on Saturday.

arguing theoretically the same idea from opposite ends of the spectrum, either take your own advice and know that posted hours are fairly flexible or admit you are a self centered ninny.

It's amazing to me that Kinston produces the talent it does. From Maceo Parket to Jaime Pressley and now Dawson, it's a town that's so boring that I suppose people have to make their entertainment. Not bad for a town that teaches the three "R" in school: reading, 'riting, and the Road to Raleigh.

Goldsboro is even worst. I was stationed there for what seemed an eternity in 1975.

The new hotness in customer "service" around here these days are annoying waiters and waitresses whose first job is to attempt to teach you how to patronize a restaurant and read a menu. They then move onto bugging the piss out of you every three minutes. The worse model of this is when not only your server does this, but every server and manager in the place does the same thing. My wife and I had our lunch interrupted 12 times recently. It was ridiculous. When the dining room manager came by for his third visit and ask if there was anything we needed, I told him five minutes without being bothered by him or his staff would be quite nice, thank you. He was offended. I didn't care.

I work in a call center for a very large insurance company. We are required to have an "average handle time" of 5 minutes 25 seconds while explaining incredibly complicated investments to lots of old people who think math is a matter of opinion and should be more "fair".

Also, keep in mind, in a call center, every few customers start off the conversation by screaming at you and threatening you, often before you even can say hello and offer to help.

Thats the reason call center people are not helpful, they are being timed at the same time they are putting up with lots of abuse from the people they are tasked with helping, and when they do actually spend the time to help, they are increasing the likelyhood they will be fired and their job will be off-shored to india.

kwame:What kind of douche bag rushes to the door to lock it, anyway? You tell them that although it's 8:59, the kitchen is closed.

If you aren't able to do that, then you f*cking open the door, treat them pleasantly, and enjoy the fact that you squeezed one more tip into your day.

After a day of work most people would prefer to enjoy the fact that they have some time for themselves. Not working another hour just because some asshole decided to come in at the last minute. Depending on the kind of restaurant the food production for an entire family can take quite some time, the people will take their time eating it and then you still need to close up shop and clean everything. And for what? The hope that the restaurant accepts the claims for overtime (cook, serving staff) because you chose to let the guy in? Or the few dollar you'd get for a tip? No way, closing the door is the right thing to do to a repeat offender.

CSB:

I worked in a supermarket and we got a customer who always came just before the doors were set to exit only and always took her time shopping as if we weren't planning to close up shop for the night. Since you aren't allowed to physically remove her from the premise, we always to set the door to exit only a bit earlier if we saw her coming.

DerAppie:After a day of work most people would prefer to enjoy the fact that they have some time for themselves.

The closing shift isn't over until the doors are locked and the lights are turned off. Sack up and do your job, talk to the boss about telling latecomers that the kitchen is closed, or find a new line of work.

It's amazing to me that Kinston produces the talent it does. From Maceo Parket to Jaime Pressley and now Dawson, it's a town that's so boring that I suppose people have to make their entertainment. Not bad for a town that teaches the three "R" in school: reading, 'riting, and the Road to Raleigh.

Goldsboro is even worst. I was stationed there for what seemed an eternity in 1975.

Kinston and Goldsboro have nothing on Jacksonville, though.

The new hotness in customer "service" around here these days are annoying waiters and waitresses whose first job is to attempt to teach you how to patronize a restaurant and read a menu. They then move onto bugging the piss out of you every three minutes. The worse model of this is when not only your server does this, but every server and manager in the place does the same thing. My wife and I had our lunch interrupted 12 times recently. It was ridiculous. When the dining room manager came by for his third visit and ask if there was anything we needed, I told him five minutes without being bothered by him or his staff would be quite nice, thank you. He was offended. I didn't care.

I had that happen to me last week. I was trying to have a conversation with my son about auto insurance (he just bought his first car) and other such topics now that he's out on his own, and damned if we weren't interrupted every three minutes by the waiter, the bus boy, the manager - I was halfway to believing this was either a Monty Python skit or someone had put us on Candid Camera to see how long it would take before I drew a handgun and started shooting.

Finally a woman came by to ask something and we didn't even look up, just kept talking and she said "Well, EXCUSE me!" and walked off. Hey, don't go away mad.

It's amazing to me that Kinston produces the talent it does. From Maceo Parket to Jaime Pressley and now Dawson, it's a town that's so boring that I suppose people have to make their entertainment. Not bad for a town that teaches the three "R" in school: reading, 'riting, and the Road to Raleigh.

Goldsboro is even worst. I was stationed there for what seemed an eternity in 1975.

Kinston and Goldsboro have nothing on Jacksonville, though.

The new hotness in customer "service" around here these days are annoying waiters and waitresses whose first job is to attempt to teach you how to patronize a restaurant and read a menu. They then move onto bugging the piss out of you every three minutes. The worse model of this is when not only your server does this, but every server and manager in the place does the same thing. My wife and I had our lunch interrupted 12 times recently. It was ridiculous. When the dining room manager came by for his third visit and ask if there was anything we needed, I told him five minutes without being bothered by him or his staff would be quite nice, thank you. He was offended. I didn't care.

I had that happen to me last week. I was trying to have a conversation with my son about auto insurance (he just bought his first car) and other such topics now that he's out on his own, and damned if we weren't interrupted every three minutes by the waiter, the bus boy, the manager - I was halfway to believing this was either a Monty Python skit or someone had put us on Candid Camera to see how long it would take before I drew a handgun and started shooting.

Finally a woman came by to ask something and we didn't even look up, just kept talking and she said "Well, EXCUSE me!" and walked off. Hey, don't go away mad.

Just go away.

/STFU and GBTW

What's even worse is the new team service model, wherein one person seats you, another person welcomes you and offers drinks, another takes your order, another (usually an illegal, who doesn't speak English) bring your food and then everyone disappears (or worse, they all drop by to see if you are enjoying your meal) until the original person brings the check. I guess all this attention is nirvana to an ego maniac, but it's farking annoying to everyone else.

And these days, if a server asks if this is my first visit to a restaurant, I always answer no, even if it is. Because if I answer yes, I'm going to be subject to a five minute sales pitch and a guided tour of the menu. I feel sorry for the poor servers who have to play this silly bullshiat game. I know they hate it as much as I do, but corporate marketing must be served.

FTFComments: "Courage WolfVery interesting reading. There is never enough over-embellished, minor detailed events blown up to fill blogs, in my opinion. Why just the other day I went to read a blog. Keep this in mind because it will come into play later. The blog stated it had a daily update at 7am and as I use the info there to gamble on Midget Driven Cart Racing from Uzbekistan, it's important to me to have that info to catch the line when it is perfect.At 7:16am I checked the blog and it hadn't updated from the day before, which was exasperating as it reminded me I had lost 50 quid on an underdog dwarf recently. At 7:25, as the first betting line opened the blog still had not updated, and I watched what could have been a great line on a talented little person racing later that day tumble. Was I angry? Of course? Who wouldn't be irritated about a small bump in the road ruining your entire day?At 7:40 the blog had finally updated and I think I got a decent bet in and my day carried on normally, well as normally as one could hope after having some minor, first world problem detail ruin my entire day! I could have let the event go, considered the fact that eating at restaurants, or betting on midgets is such an immense luxury in the scheme of things, but no. What I needed to do was give vent to the anguish, the deep and scarring pain caused by this trivial event. Which is how I ended up writing this blog post in hopes that someone would come along and validate my pain, my cleverness and not say YOUR BLOG SUCKS!"

Alright Farker, fess up. Which one of you magnificent bastards posted this?

One of the worst call centers I worked at did 411 info for cell phone users, and nearly all of my browbeaten co-workers stayed at the job because the insurance covered the anti-depression/anti-anxiety meds they needed just to get through the job from day to day. Quitting that place without giving notice was one of the happiest days of my life.

/Our maximum allowed call time was 25 seconds per call. Taking 1,000 calls a day was about average.

FiendishDucks:I'm so confused by this article but at the same time it gives me hope. My husband is a writer and, on a bad day, he shiats better articles than that. Good to know that he'll be in business for a long time.

/it's amazing what people will accept as wit//or journalism

Judging by some of the writing on various major news sites, I'd say that landing a writing job has very little to do with one's actual writing skills. Good luck though.

WordyGrrl:One of the worst call centers I worked at did 411 info for cell phone users, and nearly all of my browbeaten co-workers stayed at the job because the insurance covered the anti-depression/anti-anxiety meds they needed just to get through the job from day to day. Quitting that place without giving notice was one of the happiest days of my life.

/Our maximum allowed call time was 25 seconds per call. Taking 1,000 calls a day was about average.

Oh, I use to work for a Satellite company, and at first we had a 10 minute call time. Then we rolled out HD DVR's and got new management, call time was now 5 minuets. Guess what? HD DVR's took 6-8 minutes to reset. So the one thing we had to do on every call could very well push us over the call time. And that was the first step. Metrics FTL.