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Thursday, September 22, 2016

Typical Mornings, Gecko Gate, and How Not to Interview

My morning was a typical one. Get up throw on gym clothes take kid three to school, come back to the house and get kids one and two, drop kid two off at college and take kid one with me to the gym. These are not unusual things for us. We even stopped off at the grocery on the way home from the gym which I like to think makes us look like we put in effort to be healthy but also may be mildly gross. That too is not unusual. Today however, I had to get ready for a job interview and while I do not go on job interviews with any sort of regularity I have gotten ready for other occasions. Even getting ready for the day is a normal sort of thing as contrary to popular belief I do not, nor have I ever, sat at home eating bon bons all day and watched soap operas. That is not, nor has it ever been, the way I spend my time.

No, today was a first as today was the first time in all 40+ years of my life that I ever went to the restroom to take a shower used the restroom before said shower, stood to flush, looked in the bowl and found a gecko trying to escape. A GECKO was in the toilet where I just sat! A LIVING CREATURE near the nether regions. People, I just cannot even! I don't even like doctors to be down there. I avoid going to see the OB/GYN until I get guilted into going. My heart started racing faster than it did while at the gym. My vision got a little fuzzy and I could only think two things, First, "If I pass out here I am naked and will my daughter know enough to dress me before she calls for paramedics? This floor is tile...the floor of death. EMT's will be involved." and Second, "Gross! I don't blame you I'd want out too." So I did have a bit of restraint to not scream loudly enough to be heard. I slammed the lid down and I flushed. Then I flushed again. Then I peaked to see if it was gone. It was. So I may have sent a gecko to the great eternal pool in the sky. I may have killed one of God's creatures. In my defense, one of us was going to go down and I had a job interview to get to so....

After what will now be referred to as "Gecko Gate" I prepared for my interview. I went with a black dress and simple black sandals. My options were limited and black looks professional, right? I live in a southern state now. It may be the first day of fall but it is still in the 90's here. Not my best plan. I went to my interview with the company my husband has worked for for 20+ years. I arrived before the people who were to interview me. Three men take me through a door in the back that they had to enter a code to enter and up some stairs to a private room. All I could think about during this journey was, "Ok this isn't creepy at all. I'm just going into a private locked cave with three men I've never met and there are stairs involved. Glad I didn't wear heels. It's fine, I work out now. That one is small I can probably take him, the other one looks like I will have to fight a little harder but I'm probably faster and the only one I'm really worried about is the kid that looks like a football player that went to school with my daughters. Nope not worried at all." We arrived and sat around a table and well...I talked more about how great my husband is than myself. This would probably be listed in the "How Not to Interview" handbook that I do not possess. To be fair it has been a good amount of time since I interviewed but I have never even heard of interviewing in a secret layer surrounded by three men. Where I am from the doctor doesn't even go into a room without his nurse. It was a disconcerting and I dealt with the discomfort by doing what I do best...talking to fill the silence as they didn't seem particularly prepared and I also felt safer talking about my husband. Also I sweat through my black dress.

Today has been an interesting day to say the least. When I arrived home I had a message from that same company and I have another interview Monday. Who knows, maybe I will talk my way into a job yet. I got my very first job because I was persistent and wouldn't leave the manager alone until she was basically forced to hire me to shut me up. There will be training involved of course, but I did manage to get licensed to sell real estate in two weeks once upon a time. I also have raised teenagers, and lived through Gecko Gate, I have no fear. I am strong and I really need a job so I can afford things like fresh fish and Netflix.

About Me

When I was young I loved reading Erma Bombeck books. I have finally accomplished my dream of writing my own book. I'm a wife and a mother of three and when I'm not writing about my family I enjoy reading a good book and drinking coffee drinks that I don't know how to order. If you enjoy what you read, feel free to follow me on my blog.