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I Wish the Slut Phase Was Just a Phase

Are you ready for it?

As you're beginning to read this, you're preparing yourself for some sexual stories, and getting ready to please yourself to them. Well, my friends zip those pants back up and get ready for something far more intimate. The second someone reads the word "slut" they are associating it with the word "sex". Although recently I've discovered slut phases can be far more than just sleeping around, they can be "sexting" around. The woman often finds it easier to send sexual messages, than it is to actually act on them with someone. The honest truth behind that is we actually have the ability to leave the situation, no matter how persistent a man gets with us. We can turn our phone off, block the number, and screenshot the evidence to cops if the guy chooses to continue trying things with us. I've watched men get out of the situation by saying things like, "Well you wanted in the beginning, so it's okay."

That makes me then ask them, "So if we were about to have sex, and I wanted it in the beginning, I'm demanding to want it further on? That under no circumstance my mind can change at all? Regardless of what I said after feeling comfortable, I'm stuck in the situation?"

Struggling with anxiety, my mind tends to change constantly. One second I'll feel comfortable in a situation, moments later my mind is demanding me to leave it. Adding sex to the mix is like putting glue on your fingers and expecting it to come off easily. The irony that I'm choosing a white color item, while we're talking about sex. (If you didn't get the reference, that's okay.) Women, have you ever looked back on a one night stand and thought 'Did I actually want this?' Did you ever question the situation at hand? Part of me has questioned several situations, but also left it alone because at the beginning of the night, "It was what I wanted." No part of me was allowed to change my mind, and no part of me could escape.

Growing up, sex was not the topic allowed in my home. Part of me wished for the parents to just talk to me about it. They just instantly shamed for thinking of doing it, and or doing it. I didn't have the safe home to share what was actually happening to me. They might have to listen, or read about it now. They never will know what happened to me in Orlando, they never will know what happened to me at the age of fifteen years old. Because, even to them, it's my fault. I got my self into the situation, I was the one who walked into the room, except just because someone walks into a room doesn't mean they wanted to enter it. I'm not here to fault anyone for my own actions. I made the choices that got me into situations and dealt with the repercussions after. Instead of blaming the people who won't listen, find the ear that will.

So the choice is always your choice. If sexting is your comfort zone, then have at it. If you need to build up the comfort with someone by using a phone first, you're not shamed for doing so. Just know that when the phone goes away, and the door opens to the room, and you're ready in that moment, that is just one moment in the night, and you can change your mind at ANY GIVEN MOMENT. One yes doesn't mean you have to have sex. Also, just because you've had sex with someone one time doesn't mean you have to feel comfortable to do so again with them. The key to all this; don't let your voice be silent. Mine was mumbled too many times, and I can't get back those nights or phone conversations. they're forever part of my life. just like if you glued two pieces of paper together, no matter how hard you try and tear them apart, pieces will always remain together. If you're not ready to be stuck to someone for the rest of your life, don't even put yourself into the situation.