French Horn Not Just “Gay Trumpet” After All

In a stunning discovery by researchers at Cornell University, it has been concluded that the French horn is not actually just a “gay trumpet” as many have believed. Lead researcher, Anthony Orendale, reported his findings after years of persistent researcher, to prove once and for all, that the French horn is also kind of cool.

Though Orendale only officially announced his research after a year study at Cornell, he admitted to concentrating his efforts since the 4th grade, when his band director made him play the French horn rather than the bongos, which wasn’t even an option.

“It was the hand in the horn that really made people think, ‘hey maybe that’s just a gay trumpet,’ and I really hated that,” said Orendale. “I was determined to prove all my classmates wrong, and it only took me 22 more years.”

To prove the French horn was not a gay trumpet, Orendale had to tirelessly work to show that the horn on the French horn is not a butt, but a horn. Something much harder to prove when everyone thinks it’s funny.