Roger M. Wilcox's review of

Left Behind II: Tribulation Force

The beautiful thing about the Book of Revelation is that it is SO bizarre, SO
convoluted, and SO filled with ambiguous imagery that you could interpret it to
mean just about ANYTHING. The Beast with Seven Heads and Ten Horns could be the
7 hills of Rome with 10 regional governors, or it could be 7 delegates to the
U.N. security council driving 10 cars and honking their horns, or it could be
the 7-up corporation and its sister company 10-up, or it could be the Laernian
Hydra from Disney's Hercules at the moment when it sprouted 7 heads.
The Mark of the Beast has been pinned on everything from Social Security
Numbers to ATM PINs to credit card numbers to bar codes to Mondex to the little
scar you get when you get immunized against smallpox. The four horsemen of the
Apocalypse and the seven angels and the seven trumpets and the seven
candlesticks, likewise, could be interpreted to mean anything. The
"tribulation", which is supposed to happen shortly before the Second Coming of
Christ™, could be marked by any manner of Bad Things, and for all we
know, its described "seven year" duration might be seven metaphorical years or
something. You could even use passages out of the Book of Revelation to prove
that the Earth is square (c.f. Rev 7:1).

But there is one thing that absolutely, positively, definitely does NOT appear
anywhere in the Book of Revelation:

Nowhere does Revelation talk about a PRE-TRIBULATION RAPTURE.

In fact, a pre-tribulation Rapture isn't described anywhere in the Bible. A
Rapture of sorts IS described in 1 Thessalonians 4:17, but this Rapture is
supposed to happen AFTER the Lord comes down from Heaven. It was a 19th-century
theologian named John Darby, and not any of the authors of the Bible or the
early Christian church, who popularized the rather harebrained idea that the
Rapture of 1 Thes 4:17 was going to happen BEFORE the time of tribulation
"described" in Revelation. Perhaps he wanted the True Believers to have some
kind of get-out-of-tribulation-free card.

But, heck, why should a lack of good Biblical scholarship hold back a Christian
Fundamentalist end-times thriller series?

Apparently, the first movie in this series, Left Behind (which has
already been reviewed here by Jeff DeLuzio) was released directly to video and
THEN had a short theatrical run. The reasons given for this in "The making of
Left Behind: The Movie" were about as odd as the Book of Revelation
itself. With Left Behind II: Tribulation Force, on the other hand, the
producers had no such pretense. This movie was released straight to VHS and DVD
and has stayed there ever since. Amusingly enough, the DVD contains some
"deleted scenes." (Deleted from WHAT? This film never HAD a theatrical
release!) But — and this is the strangest part — this film actually did a slightly better job in some places than its predecessor. Not that that's saying much, I know. But perhaps they didn't have to waste as much of their shoestring production budget on advertising this time.

The film picks up right after Left Behind left off. Nick Carpathia, who
had just been revealed to be the Antichrist but who had hypnotized everyone who
wasn't a True Christian™ into believing he was a good guy, is secretary
general of the United Nations. (The United Nations! Horrors! It must be the End
Times!!) In the face of the chaos of having millions of people mysteriously
vanish in the Rapture, the leaders of the free world have given Carpathia the
power to act as a de facto leader of the whole world. (A one world government!
Horrors! It must be the End Times!!) At the behest of the political puppets he
secretly controls the strings of, Carpathia creates a single international
currency (Horrors! It must be the End Times!!) and a single one-world
New-Age-like religion (Horrors! It must be the End Times!!). Meanwhile, two
fire-breathing Bible Thumpers have mysteriously appeared at Jerusalem's wailing
wall, which as all good Christians know is the remains of the ancient Temple of
Jerusalem (Horrors! It must be the End Times!!).

Our heroic Pastor Bruce Barnes declares that the two flame-spewing holy men are
the two Witnesses of the Book of Revelation. He also tries to tie the first
Horseman of the Apocalypse into the whole Antichrist thing, freely admitting
that this is his own guess and not anything that Revelation actually says. He
then proceeds to convert some people who've shown up for his sermon to
Christianity, thereby giving them, in the magical world of this movie, the
Ultimate Weapon Against Evil.

In fact, throughout this film, Christianity is time and again made to look like
a set of super powers. It makes you immune to the Antichrist's powers of
hypnosis, it makes rhythm-and-blues-singing angels mysteriously appear when the
Antichrist's goons are about to open fire on you, it pretty much makes
everything go your way. "Don't worry," you can practically hear Kirk Cameron
say, "They can't hurt me. I'm a Christian! That makes me invincible!"

The scenes where major characters were Converted are even less convincing here
than they were in the first film. The first Conversion, where the airline pilot
convinces his buddy to be a Christian, comes across like a Chick Tract, which
made it good for a few giggles. (Especially if you pause the playback and yell
"Pascal's Wager!" at the appropriate moment.) The last Conversion didn't seem
to make any sense at all, and derived its emotional power with lots of
on-screen crying — a cheap and dirty trick only because it's usually
effective.

And the Conversion they show at the climax of the movie, that gets broadcast
all around the world, thereby showing everyone the Way and the Truth and the
Light—? Well ... Fundamentalists have a rather unsavory reputation for
downplaying all religions other than their own. It features a Rabbi who gets
Converted by meeting the two fire-breathing bible-quoting Witnesses.

If you don't like Christianity, this film is good for a few laughs, and even
has one or two Christian-based touching moments that aren't over-the-top
intolerable. If you DO like Christianity, but you don't care for the
apocalyptic Fundamentalist variety of Christianity, this film is good for even
more laughs.

If, however, you believe wholeheartedly in the Truth of the End Times
Prophecies and the Coming Apocalypse Which Should Be Here Real Soon Now, you've
probably already made up your mind that everything that happens in this film
will happen exactly the same way in real life, right down to the Antichrist
being a scrawny Russian guy. I just hope you don't become U.S. president and
decide to "hasten" the apocalypse with a pre-emptive nuclear strike or
something. (Author's Note: At the time I wrote this review, Sarah Palin had not
yet appeared on the national scene. <shudder>)