If you're a social worker who is considering a foster care applicaton, how could you not approve the couple who is related to Elijah Dukes? A 17-year-old girl who is in foster care with a relative of Dukes told the Tampa police that Dukes got her pregnant. The article goes on to say that Dukes will not be charged with a crime. That's because, while the age of consent in Florida is 18, if the other person is 24 or younger, age of consent is only 16. The Devil Rays outfielder was born on June 26, 1984, so ... and Dukes gets in under the tag!

The girl, expected to give birth Nov. 5, told investigators she and Dukes had consensual sex on the living room sofa. She said Dukes got angry when she and another person confronted him about the pregnancy. "Yeah, we sat down and told him and he got mad and threw a Gatorade at me," she told investigators.

The incident has prompted a state investigation into the foster home.

Well, what next? Time now to spin the big Elijah Dukes Anti-Social Behavior Wheel and watch it land on ... it looks like ... poaching endangered owls! Unexpected, we must say, even for him. But we're certainly looking forward to it.