I Samuel 21: David Tricks a Priest

So David fled to Nob. Ahimelech the priest was a little freaked out that David showed up without a retinue, but David assured him that he was on a secret mission for Saul and that the other soldiers were nearby. He asked Ahimelech to give him some food and a weapon. Ahimelech was all, well the only food here is the day old bread for God from yesterday, but you guys can’t eat that unless you are all clean from women.

David was all, me and the young men are always clean when we go on a campaign. So Ahimelech gave him five loaves of holy bread. Then David was all, And how about a weapon? Ahimelech was all, well the only weapon is Goliath’s sword that you gave to the Tabernacle. David was all, That’ll do. And took it and the bread and left.

Unfortunately, Doeg the Edomite, the loyal head herdsman for Saul, saw this entire exchange.

David fled to Gath and went to the palace of King Achish, but all the servants were, Isn’t that David, the Hebrew that people sing has killed thousands of Philistines? So David became afraid and decided to pretend to be insane. King Achish was all, why are you bringing this crazy person before me? Kick him out of the city!