statistics are just awful. they don't help. in some ways, our mothers were better off because this kind of screening wasn't available, and you only knew that there was a problem once the baby was born.

the only thing that 'helps' is knowing one way or another whether your baby is affected. and even then, you would have some very hard choices to make.

i can't give you any advice on what to do *if* the tests show your baby does have the illness. i know that you can't stop thinking about that, and a million other related things. but your baby is the same today as it was yesterday and the day before and the week before, when you didn't know that you both had the recessive gene. whatever the result shows you (and i have everything crossed that it will be negative), it's there already - you just don't know what it is. there is NOTHING that you can do to speed up the 'knowing', or change it in any way.

you can just hang onto your hope, and keep pacing the floors, and keep talking to us.

I know you are right. There really IS nothing else to do than wait. We talk a lot about it here at home, so both my boyfriend and myself can also vent to each other.

We have already agreed on what to be done IF the test result is positive; but this option is really very nasty to think about.

I will keep trying to focus on the 75% and think positive until the result is in. There are actually only 3 whole days left to wait, if the result is in monday... perhaps it will not be in before tuesday, but I will only focus on that if I do not hear anything monday.

I really appreciate the support from all of you. Thank you all, for letting an ear to all of this.

I really wish all of you good luck in your pregnancies and in your trying to get pregnant. Fingers crossed for all of us in here.

((Turtle)) You are incredibly brave. What will be will be but it doesn't make the waiting any easier, I am sure.

It's also good that you and your boyfriend are agreed on things too - it sounds as if he is being supportive which is very important too - this on top of all of those hormones must be unbelievably hard to deal with.

from what i know (which isn't very much) of amnio results etc, they are often back very quickly - at least everyone i know who has had one has had a phone call on the day it was supposed to happen. i think there is a general recognition that this of all things needs a quick answer.

Thanks for your support.I feel a little better about all of this today (I think...).

It feels like I have a little more strength for the positive thinking today. It also helps a lot that my boyfriend will and can talk about it with me, and he IS really great support. I feel that he really IS the pillar of strength and support that I have heard other people talk about or want when things get a little rough.

However, I think I am developing a pronounced superstition towards this issue: Whenever I am thinking possitive OR negative thoughts about this, I am convinced that I am jinxing this whole thing... a weird development in my head.

Anyway, I WILL keep trying to think positive. Thanks once again to all of you in here.

glad you are feeling a little better, and it's great that your boyfriend is being so supportive. i've read stories of a few people in your situation, and sometimes their partners have seemed less than supportive. i know for a fact that my husband is undyingly positive about everything. he would be totally supportive of me, but his understanding only stretches so far - because he would believe fundamentally that everything was going to be fine. sometimes, you just need someone who can share, empathise with and completely 'get' your fears and worries. and who doesn't try to focus unstintingly on the positive ALL the time.

i can totally understand why you are worried about jinxing it - but, like i tried to say yesterday, you can't do anything to chance the result. the baby either has the illness, or it hasn't. and (god forbid), if it has, it's had it right from the start, before you ever knew that you and your boyfriend carried the gene, and before you knew that you could be tested, and before you had the amnio. you CANNOT jinx it. so please don't torture yourself over your feelings. it's natural to sway from being positive, to being negative, but please please don't worry about what effect that will have on the baby. obviously, if you can, it's definitely best not to get very hysterical, as too much of that is not good for the baby (although some of it, i'm told, is fine - and i guess most women get hysterical on at least a few occasions during their pregnancies).

Thought you all should know asap, because you´ve all been so kind and supportive during this day and yesterday:The baby is fine!!! They have just called (earlier than promised) from the hospital to tell me that (like its parents) the baby is a healthy carrier of the gene.

My god, what a relief. I´m almost crying now again.

This is the best news in my whole life.

Thanks for your support and understanding in here. Tomorrow, I will go for a run.... and enjoy feeling so lighthearted. This is just wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Enjoy your pregnancies and your running.

Oh, Turtle - that is SUCH fantastic news! What a relief for you and your boyfriend. You must feel as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. The world now looks a rosier place and you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to your new arrival.

Enjoy your run, and your weekend. I'm so glad that the hospital was able to put you out of your misery today rather than making you wait the whole weekend for the results.

Hi Everyone - hope all bumps are well. I've had flu and just about starting to feel a lot better now. Hasn't helped that hubby has had to go away with work for 2 weeks and have struggled on me own with the wee one - only another 7 days to go before he's home (where's the vino).

Turtle - I'm so pleased that you've had good news, I expect its a weight lifted off your mind. Are you going to complain about your Doc?

On a high at the mo as have recieved my appt with the Neurologist (Mini MoJo does a little dance in the corner of the room) and its all systems go for 19th Apr.

Oh dear, what a lot has happened since my husband took the computer away for three days. Turtle, I am so glad your tests came back positive. I was reading all the threads, getting ready for my message of support when I read that the tests came back positive. Must have been nightmare days for you both.

Good luck on 3 hour run Hegs, I'm very jealous now. I went for 10km run on treadmil today and had to stop after 8km because of pain in R shin. What have I done? I'm now limping as I had to walk home with pram for 3 miles afterwards. Worried I might have shin-splint or stress fracture... have put ice on shin (wine-cooler-pack!!) and trying to not walk, but hope that it is better tomorrow.. Had planned long run outside this weekend, probably be resting instead.Any thoughts?

Turtle I am so pleased that everthing is ok. My thoughts have been with you.

I have had some trauma of my own this week. I bleed at 12 weeks and presumed that I had miscarried again. Anyway at the scan, the baby was fine but I had an area of my uterus that is bleeding outside the sack.

I had another check this week. There had been no more old blood until a few days before. The scan showed that the baby is growing fine, but the area of bleed has also grown. There is nothing they can really do at this stage, except keep checking the baby is growing ok.

I am devasted as I really thought all would be OK. It was great to see the baby was fine, but it feels like a race against time for my baby to out grow the bleed. If it restricts growth the baby will have to be born and I just pray it is late enough.

I completely understand my husband' concerns but he has gone into over drive. He will not let me do anything at all and the cross training is out now. We have been through a lot to have my daughter and then lost twins in July. We have both agreed that this is the last attempt for us to complete our family. It has been 6 long years. Although we have come through it all stronger, we need to focus our life on other things. This is why my husband is so focused on making sure we do all we can.

He had booked a suprise trip to Budapest next weekend, but is adamant we are not going. I am disappointed but sort of understand.

The hard things is I am an active person by nature. If I am not running (which I had to give up at 12 weeks) I am always on the go. It is totally against my character to do very little.

I am sorry for the long rant. I have been saving it up. I did not post as I was unsure how I felt and I also wanted to know all was ok with Turtle first.

Marike - I would rest it although that is not what you want to hear. Have you had your pelvis alignment checked post birth?

I think you really should try to take it easy for a while. My impression (no experience, unfortunately) is, that complications like this will dwindle as the pregnancy proceeds, so perhaps it is not for the entire pregnancy you should be inactive.

Remember, it is "only" for a short period of your entire life you have to turn the activity level down, and the potential rewards will be great.....

But I know the feeling: If you are used to being able to do a lot of things and enjoy them, it IS very hard to just sit around.

I hope everything will be well with you, and that you will not be climbing the walls at home..

Clare, you poor thing. I know exactly where you are coming from re. being active. I know I'm not pregnant yet so can't speak from experience on that score, but just having spent nearly two weeks on the injury bench I'm almost climbing the walls. I've done loads in the house though - painted the bedroom, cleared out some stuff, vigorously cleaned everything in sight - so in some ways there have been benefits, but I'm hoping that my hamstring has now recovered enough for me to start doing more than the 1/2 mile jogs I've been restricted to.

I hope that everything is OK with the baby and that it doesn't have to be born early. Try not to take out your frustration on your husband - he probably feels really helpless and is expressing it by trying to smother you in cotton wool. I can understand that you must feel under pressure too if you've both agreed that this will be your last attempt to complete your family. Savour being waited on by hubby: it probably won't ever happen again! Can you go for gentle walks at all? At least that way you'll get some fresh air and feel that you're not being totally inactive. I do feel for you. Who'd be a woman, eh?

Turtle - that's just SUCH great news. i'm so relieved for you. HURRAH! and at least you know that your baby is a carrier of the gene, so that information can be passed to him/her to avoid having to go through the same as you have when it comes to providing you with grandchildren ;-)

Marijke - can you get to a physio? if so, it might be worth getting it checked out.

Hegs - have a GREAT holiday.

MMJ - glad to hear from you and sorry you've been poorly, but great news about the neurologist.

Trinity - what a dilemma. Have you done another test now or do you not want to? I know it's hard not to, but try not to worry yourself with the 'what ifs' etc about the molar pregnancy and the risks and being ill. If you really really don't want number 3 and, given that you were so poorly with numbers 1 and 2, could you try talking to your hubby and explaining this? It's easier for them because they don't have to go through all the physical pain and suffering (although they witness it and its effects on you), and they are probably more likely to forget more quickly...

Clare - very sorry to hear your latest news. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything will go OK. If you are sure that this is your last 'attempt', it's probably worth making the sacrifices that your husband is asking for, to give you and the baby the best chance, even if it's not appealing at the moment. And, if things do improve, you are likely to be able to start some gentle cross training again. Sorry about you missing Budapest, but they do a marathon in October and a half marathon in September, so perhaps when everything is well again, you can go over and do that in a future year?? i did the marathon last year (two weeks before i conceived!) and it's very flat and - in theory - fast (although i wasn't!)

My negative turned out to be positive, so am chuffed to bits, but now this is the just the start of a nerve wracking 8 weeks. Seeing doc tomorrow and hopefully get an early scan next week. Am very scared though especially with the traumas I read about on here, but do feel very positive, so fingers crossed.

Am not sure whether to run at all, but think will go for a 4 times a week plan of 30 mins or so, and swim on the other days. Very nervous about the whole thing. No ickiness yet, waiting for it to hit me though as was bad last time. Will check in again next week sometime.

Another question for all you experienced mums and mum to be, i'm at 11 weeks now and my nausea seems to be getting worse not better, was hoping it would have gone a bit by now as we fly off on holiday on sunday. Still have never actually been sick, but having dry bokes, if you know what i mean in the morning, you know when you're sick but nothing comes up and really bad burping. Have to force breakfast down, but apart from that not stopping me eating at other times of the day, although i feel the food sitting in my stomach for ages after. Unfortunately my sister says her nausea persisted till about 4 months, so hoping i get rid of it before then. Its like i've forgotten what it feels like to not feel constantly nauseous.Also does the stuffy nose persist for the whole pregnancy or just a couple of months like the nausea ?On a plus point, managed a slow 30 min run on friday last week and felt fine, however felt pretty knackered over the weekend, not sure if it was due to the run or just coincidence, i also had to go shopping in a busy shopping centre on saturday for bigger clothes for holidays and that knackered me as well.Sorry to moan again when others have bigger problems than me, hope you ar all doing ok.

first things first - i'd recommend doing another test. you either are pregnant or you aren't - although your intuition tells you you are, so i guess you probably are.

at least then, you KNOW either way.

secondly - i don't wish to offend anyone's beliefs, sensibilities etc and certainly not your husband's, but, to trot out a cliche, it is YOUR body, and you are the one who has to carry it throughout the 9 months. i'm sure there are good reasons for his moral objections, but it's your health and your sanity that are at stake. and also the lives of your young children, whom you will not be able to look after 'properly' if you continue with the pregnancy.

i know it probably sounds awful and you feel guilty because there are people on this forum who are desperate for children and have had fertility treatment, or who are still trying. but your dilemma is as real as theirs.

is your husband's stance final and unmovable? what if you went to talk to an advisory service (there are lots in the phone book)? they can give you impartial advice and help with how to talk about it.

i don't think it's fair to be told effectively you have no way out... (again - don't wish to offend...).

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