Tuesday, February 19, 2013

If I said you have a beautiful body would you read this novel I have been working on?

There's More Than Tears!
Charlon Comics
I Love You
Art by Fred Himes (as Ezell)
Number 99
1972

Girls (and guys) if you have never shown up at a boyfriend's place only to have a ream of paper shoved into your hands with a request of would you mind reading this? you've obviously made better romantic choices than I have.

Men always seem to want you to read something they've written, critic something they have painted or keep them company while they sculpt something or other. Or worst of all, pose. Something that simultaneously makes you love them and want to kick them in the eye. But normally these requests come after a certain getting to know you period, once they determine that you wouldn't mind. Of course they always come to the conclusion that you wouldn't mind, so the getting to know you period is of little use.

In There's More Than Tears! Bart Crofford doesn't give a shit how well he knows you, he's got a story to tell and your ass is going to hear it.

He's a fool! And you're a dream crushing bitch.

At Evelyn Ross' loud, bitter, insistent pounding, the door is finally opened. And, despite the fact that it is opened by a rather tall blonde with bedroom eyes and man of action sideburns, Evelyn can't seem to dial down her shrew.

Bart explains to Evelyn that his day job at a car wash forces him to work on his novel late at night and, with Bart's gift of verbal seduction, it is only the work of moments before Evelyn is charmed into a little something Bart has been thinking about doing all day.

Since my husband works nights, I have a friend who comes over on Friday after I get my little ones to bed. We are supposed to either watch a movie or work on our various writing projects, separately but together. Inevitable it turn into this. Me sitting around in my husband's flannel PJ bottoms, rolling my eyes and telling him to shut the hell up, him dressed to the nines talking incessantly about whatever he is working on.

Evelyn is wearing the exact look I would expect that offer to elicit.

Despite all outward appearances, there does seem to be a little bit of a spark between our two lonely apartment dwellers.

And Evelyn finds her mind wandering to thoughts of Bart.

The next day Evelyn heads off to her hated job as a textile working still thinking about Bart. No doubt her seams will suffer.

After work Bart and Evelyn run into one another in the hall and agree to have dinner together. And, because misery loves company, invite Mr. Shepulsky along also.

After dinner, once Mr. Shepulsky leaves, Bart asked Evelyn about her family.

Bart tells Evelyn that not letting her parents know where she is isn't nice. And he convinces her to write them a letter. Once she is ready to mail it, he walks her to the post office and then they take a romantic stroll.

Good Lord. I wish their romantic stroll was to a pharmacy to pick up some freakin' Cymbalta.

He's father is waving and appears to be happy to see his son. Clearly he has forgotten what a complete downer Bart is.

There you go, a happy ending for all. (Except for possible Mr. Shepulsky.)

4 comments:

So, Evvie and Bart get their asses kicked by the big bad city and go slinking back to their parents in bumbleburg, Delaware. Well done! I actually thought that first panel was a mini masterpiece. Captured an overpriced, NYC dump pretty well circa 70s, complete with the open loaf of bread every apartment dweller lives on between jobs (that or rice).

“ . . . simultaneously makes you love them and want to kick them in the eye.” That made me laugh at loud. It seems the longer women know us (men), the more they just want to give the orb a swift one, though.

Bachelor Girl follows! Why not you?

Why As Told to Stan Lee?

When I first discovered romance comics I was amazed. How had I never known that something so ridiculously wonderful existed? Romance stories where girls (which apparently ALL women prefer to be called, not just me!) were never truly complete without a man by their side. Girls that wanted nothing more than a boy to take them away from their day-to-day lives as store clerks, socialites, or, god forbid, unpopular high school students. *gasp*

Some of the best stories were from Marvel, where many of them touted "As Told to Stan Lee". Now don't get me wrong, Stan Lee rules, but I refuse to believe that any girl ever felt compelled to pour out her soul to him and then let him publish it all in comic form.

These comics where full of loneliness, "hip slang", rich men and misunderstood bad boys just waiting for the right girl to come along.

So, lets forget all about Elizabeth Gaskell and Jane Austen. Let's sit down and enjoy stories of secretaries and the architects that will let them quit their jobs and support them.

Romance - As you like it!

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About Me

I am a great fan of comics, View-Masters, magazine and book cover illustrations from the 50's, 60's and 70's, as well as old horror films. So that I don't drive my husband too crazy (or distract him too long from his own obsessions) I have chosen to obsess to strangers.