Editorial: What’s love got to do with it?

Violence against former partners or spouses and their friends is not about love. It is about control and for abusers to couch their actions in the guise of passion is fatally misleading.

Violence against former partners or spouses and their friends is not about love.

It is about control and for abusers to couch their actions in the guise of passion is fatally misleading.

So far this year, 31 people, mostly women who escaped or were trying to escape abusers, have been killed in attacks by intimate partners. The latest happened last week when Kevin Coleman of Hanson was critically wounded by Scott MacLellan, the ex-boyfriend of Coleman’s current girlfriend. MacLellan turned the gun on himself and took his own life.

Friends and relatives said MacLellan could not let go of his former relationship but his jealousy, rage and stalking actions are typical of bullies and controlling abusers, according to experts in a story in the Ledger earlier this week.

“It all comes down to power and control,” said Kathy Spear, program director of the South Shore Women’s Resource Center. “The ultimate way to control somebody is to threaten to take your own life or kill them or someone they love.

Coleman was the latest victim in our region. In April, Barbara Tassinari was shot and killed in her Abington home, allegedly by her husband John Tassinari who thought his wife was having an affair, according to police.

The 31 who have died so far this year, including eight people who have committed suicide, is below last year’s record of 55 but still equal to all of 2006 with more than three months remaining.

The vast majority of victims are women and most men who have been killed are either victims of a male attacker or a suicide victim. But at least two children have died from domestic violence incidents this year and many, many more have been left without one or both parents.

Nationally, about 1,600 people die in intimate partner violence each year. The federal Centers for Disease Control has defined it as a public health problem and indeed it is, when nearly 5 million women every year are victims of such violence. The CDC has determined intimate partner violence costs the economy about $10 billion in medical and mental health care and lost productivity.

It’s no coincidence that domestic violence funding decreased for three years under previous administrations and at the same time the number of incidents and homicides increased.

The Patrick administration and the Legislature restored funding this year but it still lags far behind what experts says is needed to address the problem.

We need to direct the funds to outreach for victims and intervention for batterers, many of whom are just time-bombs waiting to happen. Too often after an attack we hear friends and families saying that is was predictable given the spurned partner’s behaviors and actions.

But one thing it is not is love and that is what we can teach our children in conversations and as role models.

“People don’t do it out of love,” said Spear. “If you love somebody, you don’t kill somebody because of it.”

The Patriot Ledger

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