Friday, May 14, 2010

Are you eating bread and soup? My favorite kind of soup is the pea soup my mom makes, with carrots and ham. I tried to make it once, and ended up burning the peas to the bottom of my crock pot, which I then really didn't want to clean so I didn't. It got really moldy and I was tempted to just throw it out, but instead I lit a bunch of scented candles, opened all the windows, and cleaned that bitch out. It was horrible. But I did it. Eventually I do it.

The other possibility is that you are a milk monster. Milk monsters live in your refrigerator and turn your milk invisible, so you forget its there until you really want some rice chex and then you find out the milk is not quite turned, but turned enough, and you end up eating rice chex out of the box. Which I guess is one of the reasons you hear stories about people eating cereal with beer or orange juice. Milk monsters suck, and if you are one, I hope the baking soda suffocates you.

Point is, I have a very unclean kitchen usually.Why is your photo here radiating mischief, whereas your, uh, other one looks like you're pissed off that you're bored? Is it the cat? You're not a cat, are you?

For those who are not in the know, ieFacebook friends with me, this question is referring to this picture...

I don't think I look pissed in that picture. I do think Eddy looks like she is going to eat my eyeball, which is why I like it, because that's exactly what Eddy would do if I died in my apartment and no one noticed for a while. She would go straight for the soft sweet eyeball. She is resourceful like that.

No, I am not a cat. I would think that would be obvious from the picture, as I am next to the cat. I am on occasion covered with enough cat hair that in person, you might make that mistake. Also, people tend to be allergic to me. But definitely not a cat.

I am never bored if someone is paying attention to me. Which is why I have cats. And I keep them hungry.ok i went to see the banksy movie and they had a song that i liked and it turned out to be one of the pulp bandmembers. i did not have pulp on the mind all this time but it just turned out this way. check out www.richardhawley.co.uk --c.

First of all, now I have to see the Banksy movie. I found a review that said "Even the soundtrack is like a hip-hop version of Henry Mancini." SOLD.

But I gotta say, I didn't like the Richard Hawley stuff so much. I'm going to get the album and give it a full and proper listen though, because hey, Pulp. But I find Pulp band member solo stuff lacks the smarmy danciness of the band. I mean, the smarmy is there. But the dancey is not.

Thanks for tip though Cat.Who is worse LeBron or Satan?

For those of you who live in a world outside Cleveland, the Cavs lost the semi-finals last night, and everyone is super mad at Lebron, because they say he played poorly. They are not using the word "poorly", in most cases, but that's what they generally mean. I didn't watch the game last night, or the one before it, because I was working. Also because I don't really give a shit. But I was among people last night after the game, and I was reading my twitter feed during, and let me tell you, twitter is hilarious. It went from "CavsCavsCavs!" to "Fuck LeBron, with various degrees of hostility over the course of the game. This tells me that Cleveland is a bunch of turncoats. You people will abandon anyone and anything in the blink of an eye. I'm not saying I think you should hold Lebron in such fucking self-esteem anyway, but after six months of hearing how he's the Great Hope of the City, now you want to stab him in the back and bury him on the East Bank? I think you are all rejecting him out of insecurity, cause you know he's going to leave the team next year and all you'll have left is Vareajo. Whose entire career consists of him falling down.

Satan wins. Nobody born in Akron can fall from grace because they were already born out of grace. I know, I was born in Akron. It's like a tire stain on your soul.Have you heard of the Clock Without a Face? I think you could find the emeralds - http://gustwintig.com

This is great. I'm going to do something like this someday, but instead of emeralds I will use My Little Ponies. Once you collect all of them, they will activate and allow you to target any electro-magnetic source in the world, and turn it off. Think about it.

"What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while...What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though." - J. D. Salinger