Risky London

Aussies are being warned that travelling to London is ‘riskier’ than Bali – and the risk isn’t only that you’ll find more to do than get drunk on a beach and have sex with a stranger – come here and you may DIE:

"The industry is concerned that, given the number of things that have happened in the UK, given they have been happening at an increasing rate, that the travel advisory is inadequate," said one senior tourism industry figure. "We would say - on the information we have - there is more likely to be an attack in London than Jakarta … or even Bali."

Weird - sharks, killer spiders and Paul Hogan hold no fear for your average Australian, but mention a double decker and they're supposed to go weak at the knees?

Our own tourist board will probably have a few choice words to say about this, but then again we already have a lot of Australians over here. This would be a great opportunity to woo tourists from places that are deemed even more terrifying than London.

Is there a Thomas Cook office in Fallujah? How much would it cost to fit EasyJet with a couple of tailgunners? Or better still maybe we can just wrap all the Australians in cotton wool as they come through passport control.

Must remember to pick up a copy of TNT this week to see what their take on this is.