Hurdles

Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.

19. Nineteen

The second night I'm back in England, we all sleep over at Kylie's and I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. It's so surreal but so perfect to see them all in real life, to actually spend time with them and have them make me laugh and to just know they haven't forgotten about me.

It's weird being back in England too. Nice, but weird. I really am used to the Austin weather now. Even though it's getting colder over there, there's still some heat and I never realised it until I stepped off the plane here and it felt like the country had never seen sun. Just being here in general is weird, the people, the TV, the driving, being at my friends' houses, just the whole atmosphere. It's like I forgot that just because my whole world changed doesn't mean this one did.

"So have you missed us or what?" Nicole asks as we all sit around the table eating nachos and pizza, as always.

"Of course I missed you." I relax into my seat, full. "I missed you all so much."

"But what about your new friends?"

I laugh, shaking my head. "I love them but they're not you. Don't worry, you're not going to be replaced."

"You are." Kylie grins. "We love Harry. We talk about him all the time."

"What do you know about Harry to talk about?" I frown at them.

"Well we stalked his Facebook."

I groan but laugh too. I love them and their quirky little ways really. I really am in this state of pure happiness tonight, noticing everything that makes me happy. Even the little things that would usually go over my head as a normal thing, like our fake little arguments and our inside jokes and even their accents are making me smile tonight. Obviously it's my accent too but to just hear them in real life feels like the best thing.

It's strange the next night though, when I'm not with all of them because I start to miss everybody and everything back in Austin. It's a nice feeling though, feeling like I have a home there just as much as I do here. I actually hear from Harry one night though, he calls me and I'm excited to hear his voice but when I do, he sounds kind of off.

"Hey." he says, his voice a little flat.

"Hey." I say. "I wasn't expecting you to call."

"Yeah, I know. Is it too late over there? I thought I might be calling too late-"

"No no, it's fine." I cut him off and he sighs.

"I'm just in a shit mood and I didn't really know who else to talk to." he says, sounding miserable.

"What about the guys?"

"I don't know, I just kind of feel like you're the best person to talk to about something like this." he says and my heart races a little. Obviously I don't want him to be upset but I am kind of flattered he came to me.

"Well what's wrong?" I ask.

"Just..." he pauses before sighing again. "You know when everything just builds up and you're not really sure what to do with it all? I just feel so stressed and it's gotten me so down and I don't know why. I feel so pathetic."

"You're not pathetic at all." I promise. "It's natural to feel like that sometimes isn't it? But you know, it's just a mood, it'll pass. If you want to talk to me about whatever's stressing you out, you can. If you want to talk about anything at all, you can. If you're sick of hearing my voice by now, just get some rest and see how you feel in the morning."

"Nah, I'm fine. I think I just needed to vent a little." he says. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I say, still smiling to myself. "I'll see you in a few days."

"Okay." he says, his voice soft. "Night."

"Goodnight." I say and he ends the call. I know we both clarified that we're just friends and I was always pretty sure he'd gotten over whatever feelings he had for me but sometimes it just feels like that could still change. I don't know, sometimes it still feels like there's a little something more.