In a speech at the Inter-American Development Bank on Thursday, March 14, Crusader Bunnypants said that the United States has a "calling" to "wage war...to keep the world safe from terror," according to the Washington Post.

It is difficult to gauge what makes me more nauseous: the statement itself, or the fact no one has challenged the ludicrousness of the statement in the more than two weeks since it was made.

The United States has actually done precious little to keep the world safe from terror, but we have followed our "calling" to wage war, so Mr. Bush has accomplished that part.

In actuality, we have conducted less than stellar campaigns in Afghanistan; we have failed to locate and capture the man we blame for the September 11th attacks; the only person we have indicted for the September 11th tragedy was in jail at the time the attacks occurred; and there are signals that the White House wants to unilaterally engage Saddam Hussein on the basis that he is part of Mr. Bush's nefarious "Axis of Evil."

'Playing politics with talk about war plans' - more tales of repuke hypocrisy, what a surprise:

Just imagine that Representative Lindsay Graham were one of those dangerous liberals.

Just imagine the hue and cry if one of them had told the Iraqi dictator when the US-led armies were coming and dressed his revelation in the clothing of solid intelligence information. Imagine how that hue and cry would have been magnified by the war-engulfed press and embellished with calls for investigations and more.

Graham, however, is a conservative. What is more, he is running to become the next Republican senator from South Carolina to succeed Strom Thurmond. And President Bush needs very badly for Graham to win. That, apparently, is enough to trigger a flagrant double standard in politics this year: If you merely want to have a national discussion about which countries we will be going to war with in the next several months you are giving (as Tom DeLay puts it) aid and comfort to the enemy if your partisan credentials are not in order. On the other hand, if you have your party card, feel free to have all the political fun with Iraq or the war on international terrorism you wish if it might help your campaign.

What Graham - who is mostly known as one of the people who thought impeaching President Clinton was worth a half-year or so of government paralysis - did last week was at least entertaining in its flagrancy and certainly illustrative of the double standard.

For now, however, there has been a good object lesson in the use of war for pure politics and in the public misbehavior of a congressman who has demonstrated how easy it is to be irresponsible.

File the first Criminal Crawford administration energy policy documents under "Suspicions Confirmed" -- if the file cabinet is big enough.

The 11,000 pages of text and blank space from the Energy Department show how biased the policy-making was. An order to describe "the effects of certain regulatory actions" went from the American Petroleum Institute, the oil industry lobbying group, to Executive Order 13211, which the Toxic Tinhorn signed with hardly any words having been changed. That's just one example the Natural Resources Defense Council turned up in a first look at the 11,000 pages.

Powell talks to Sharon & Arafat, the Coward of Crawford talks to Cows:

"the White House did and said nothing"

The Israeli-Palestinian fighting will be remembered as the Yugoslavia of this administration -- a dangerous situation that, through timidity and willful inaction, the United States allowed to become a catastrophe.

Why has the Cretinous Cowstalker rejected his father's policy? Some in and outside the administration cite an overreaction to the Clinton administration, which escalated U.S. involvement in the Middle East still further but failed to produce a settlement. Others suspect that Daddy's Little Doofus sees his father's heavy pressure on Israel as a mistake that helped cost him reelection, and consequently is resolved never to be caught leaning on Sharon.

Still others know that Buckeroo Bonehead is a mere figurehead, a brainless, snivelling pawn used by his handlers - equally depraved, and as it turns out, equally brainless.

Either way, this president's [sic] decision to disengage is beginning to look like an error of historic proportions.

"President Bush has seemed more intent on securing Republican majorities in Congress in November and getting his brother re-elected as governor of Florida than on securing decency and justice in the Middle East." - - Ian Gilmour, at The Observer

WTF?!: The Clueless Cokehead "used strong language Saturday" to reaffirm America's commitment to the process. (To whom, his old man? "Daddy, what do ah do? You gotta help me! An' bring me anutha bottle of pretzals, goshdarnit!". Just reading the transcript - see below - proves how idiotic and whorish this statement is.)

"I think it is very important for our country to provide an opportunity for discussion, an opportunity for people to come together," Preznit Primate said. "So Gen. Zinni will stay there. He will stay there to continue to push for a process."

"It reminds me of [Spanish dictator Gen. Francisco] Franco when he was brain dead but was kept breathing on resuscitation equipment until people figured out the succession," said Augustus R. Norton, a Mideast expert at Boston University and author of several books on the region.

The Arbusto administration is also increasingly under fire for not doing enough to avert or manage the mounting crisis. "While all this goes on, Bush fiddles in the White House or Texas, playing Nero as the Mideast burns," Norton said. "It's very sad."

The Clueless Clodhopper is coming under fire even among his supporters.

"The supreme irony is that the greatest power the world has ever known has proven incapable of managing a regional crisis," said Geoffrey Kemp, who ran Mideast policy at the National Security Council for the Reagan administration.

"A 2-year-old could have seen this crisis coming. And the idea that it could be brushed under the carpet as the administration focused on either Afghanistan or Iraq reflects either appalling arrogance or ignorance," Kemp said.

"We are at this point because there has not been enough done to fight off terror. All of the leaders in the world must stand up against terror and must do everything in their power to cut off funding to terrorist organizations, to prevent terrorist organizations from finding safe haven."

QUESTION: Why doesn't Arafat get a call by Powell today?
BUSH: Oh, he may be doing that. I just don't know. Let me - Arafat doesn't need a phone call from me. All he's got to do is what I just said. I believe - and that message will be delivered to him.

"There has been a framework laid out, and now the efforts will be--the focus of the efforts, getting into the framework."

March 30, 2002

Gah. I'm still pissed off - I just saw a pic of Preznit Primate pouting in his highchair at the pig farm with a big plaque on the wall behind him reading "The Western White House". How dare that dipwad, that unelected idiot, try to associate Bunnypants Bunker with such a symbol as the White House??? Arrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Stuff I did today:1. Planted sweet pea seeds outside
2. Pruned back most of the butterfly bushes
3. Found the deer skull, but it was in pretty bad shape.
4. Repaired the bird feeder that the bear had squished.

Panic-stricken by Possible Drops in the Polls, Handlers Force Crusader Bunnypants to Phone Real World Leaders from Bunker at Pig Farm

CRAWFORD, Texas (AP) - Drinky McDumbass "took a direct role in Mideast diplomacy" a few minutes ago, calling five world leaders about the deteriorating situation between Israelis and Palestinians.

The flurry of calls contrasted with his public silence Friday when he played video games with his cows as Israeli troops laid siege to Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat's headquarters. (- - from Yahoo News just now.)

"A direct role"????? After all this time? Who writes this stuff, Karl Rove?? And who are they trying to kid?? Any self-respecting "reporter" would have told the truth and written something like this: The Cretin from Crawford was forced by his nursemaids today to act "engaged" and "in command" after months of diddling. The Yale Yahoo spent a few minutes on the phone asking various world leaders what he should do, passing the telephone over to one of his handlers because trying to pay attention was making his head hurt.

CRAWFORD, Tex., March 29 -- As Israeli troops and tanks stormed Yasser Arafat's compound today, Buckeroo Bonehead played with his dogs, went for a jog and worked around his ranch.

With tensions rising and other world leaders speaking out, Moron of Midland‘s aides stalled, initially saying they were deciding what to say, then declaring in their first official statement that they were monitoring and assessing the situation. At the White House's West Wing and the National Security Council, some senior officials stuck with plans to spend Good Friday with their families.

The Connecticut Cowpat's absence from the public debate presented a flashback to the relative disengagement from the Middle East that marked his (stolen) presidency until early this month, when he sent a special envoy, Gen. Anthony C. Zinni, back to the region before a visit by Vice President “dick” Cheney.

Aides said the Yellow Puddle of Texas's conspicuous silence today reflected his style of making big decisions ( - leave ‘em to someone else!), delegating the details and execution to others. The aides said the Smirking Simpleton had no interest in talking for talking's sake. These aides said the Drooling Sockpuppet was well aware that his posture would be questioned, and was completely unconcerned about that possibility.

Officials also said they did not want to associate Daddy’s Little Doofus any more than necessary with an unpredictable and possibly disastrous situation. "This is not a president who worries about, listens to, or sweats criticism all that much," a White House official said. "He has confidence he will be judged on the results, not the process."

Preznit Poopypant's spokesmen did not elaborate on his activities beyond "outdoor projects" and "enjoying the great outdoors." (How….nice for him. I’m soooo glad he can “enjoy” himself at a time like this. That he's not troubled at all.)

More at The Washington comPost. - - And, as usual, the quivering Dems sit on their thumbs, not only spineless, but lacking genitalia. Can't someone please call him on this hiding-in-the-bunker stuff?????

Early Astronomers Determined Easter Dates

Have you ever looked ahead on your calendar to find out when Easter is and wondered how the dates were chosen? Easter Sunday falls anytime between March 22nd and April 25th. According to the ESA (European Space Agency) , the exact date can be predicted as far ahead as 4099 AD through European observations of the sun that date back many centuries.

In 325 AD, it was declared that Easter would fall on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox, the day in Spring in the northern hemisphere when daylight and darkness are equal.
- - http://www.cosmiverse.com/space03310201.html

March 29, 2002

Crybaby Neonazi Repukes Whine That They Don't Have Enough Power:

In the first sign of a major breach between Hopalong Noodlehead and leading repugs in Congress, many lawmakers complain that the White House is not sufficiently energetic in helping them in the November elections. But Chokin' Chimpy's advisers contend, bitterly, that members of Congress have not appreciated his help and should be far more aggressive in defending the president (snort!).

Several advisers to the Smirking Sockpuppet expressed distress that repukes in Congress were not doing enough to defend the "president"'s efforts to expand his authority. Good gravy. That would be absolutely hysterical if it wasn't so damn scary...

Getting to the bottom of the mystery of what could be a lost underwater city near Cuba is far more exciting for a Canadian-led expedition than bringing up emeralds from a galleon on the ocean floor.

This week, their discovery of what appears to be a sunken island with massive temple-like structures will receive an important boost from an expert.

Manuel Iturralde, one of Cuba's top geologists, plans to tell an international conference of geophysicists in Havana on Friday that there is no geological explanation for the megalithic stone formations found in about 700 metres of water some four kilometres off the western tip of Cuba.
Iturralde's conclusion represents a vote in favour of the Canadian-led deep-ocean exploration team that stumbled upon what looked like architecturally arranged stone formations while using sonar scans to comb the ocean floor for sunken galleons in the summer of 2000.

The megalithic formations -- called Mega for short -- occupy an area of about 20 square kilometres. Zelitsky suggests they might be the remains from a series of rooms connected by large corridors. She wonders whether they were part of a temple-like building used for astronomical purposes about 8,000 years ago.

Archaeologists in Egypt's Nile Delta have unearthed a colossal bust which could belong to Queen Nefertari, the wife of legendary Pharaoh Ramses II, Egyptian antiquities officials said on Thursday. A German-Egyptian mission discovered the 12-foot high, 24,000-pound granite bust in the town of Zagazig, some 36 miles northeast of Cairo.

Archaeologists said the bust belonged to one of Ramses' daughters or wives, probably Nefertari. They said the find was especially interesting because artifacts of the queen are very rare in the Delta region.

Egyptologists believe the bust is part of a statue -- as yet undiscovered -- which could be around 66 feet high and would be the largest statue of the 19th dynasty ever found in the Delta.

The deer carcass is no more! Damn thing has finally been stripped, and all that's left are a few bones scattered around. Can't find the skull, though - I'm pretty pissed that something or someone dragged the head away. The rib cage is still in one piece...if I line it with moss it might make a nice planter.

The rest of the little buggers (the live deer) are eating my crocuses!!! I go out to yell at them and they just stare at me. What am I, a salad bar?

The zebra finches pitched that egg I saw last week. Must not have been fertile. One thing about zeebies, tho - they're always trying.

The cat is licking his balls.

speaking of assholes...

More BS from the Arbusto Oil Administration (plus Oprah tells the Unelected Idiot to F*ck Off**)

"I like to assure my fellow citizens that we don't seek revenge, we seek justice," the Warring Wonderchimp told a Dallas gathering Thursday, taking a break from his Easter vacation at his Texas ranch. "And it's important for the young in America to understand that when we went into Afghanistan, we went in not as conquerors, but as liberators."

What utter crap. Well, on second thought, his handlers are probably right: on the pretext of getting 'the evil one" (dead or alive, goldarnit!), "we" went in as as 'crusaders' to to 'liberate' some oil.

1638 Swedish colonists settled in present-day Delaware. The date the bikini team followed is not known.
1867 the British Parliament passed the North America Act to create the Dominion of Canada.
1979 Committee on Assassinations Report issued by US House of Representatives stating JFK assassination was result of conspiracy.
1984 Following the US allegation that Soviet chemical weapons - yellow fungal toxins called trichothecenes - had caused at least 10,000 deaths in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan, biologists from Harvard and Yale announced on this day that the death-bearing yellow rains were massive simultaneous defecation by colonies of Southeast Asian honeybees, which left '100 or more spots of yellowish faeces per square metre.' The trichothecenes were produced either by fungi spread after the bees had eaten fungus-contaminated food; or by fungi growing on the bee droppings.
(- - YahooNews, Rotten.com, ForteanTimes)

Reconstructing the tomb of Christ

For Christians, it's the epicenter of the ultimate mystery: the place where Jesus was laid to rest after the crucifixion. High-tech tools and fresh archaeological insights have sharpened scientists' view of the prime religious real estate at Jerusalem's Church of the Holy Sepulcher, favored by centuries of tradition.

Oxford Professor Martin Biddle conducted the most exhaustive modern study of the Holy Sepulcher site during the 1990s. With the aid of thermal imaging and snake-around mini-cameras, he reconstructed virtual models of the successive shrines that were built at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher over the site of the purported tomb.

Biddle found that each version of the Edicule, or "little house," was built around the previous version, like a series of nested dolls. Moreover, the analysis showed that the heart of a rock-cut tomb - a chiseled couch where the body would be laid - could have survived Constantine's fourth-century excavations, the church's destruction in the year 1009 and the rebuildings over the centuries.

When Constantine ordered the removal of a Roman-era temple in the year 325, revealing the Holy Sepulcher tomb buried beneath, the historian Eusebius remarked that the site provided "clear and visible proof of the wonders of which that spot had once been the scene." That led Biddle to speculate that some sign might still exist, perhaps inscribed in the living stone beneath layers of marble and mortar.

LOL - Former Washington, D.C. Mayor, Marion Barry got in trouble this week after a mysterious white powder was found in his car. Mysterious? I think the only thing mysterious is using the word mysterious in this story. (Kilborn)

Momentum growing for inquiry into "oddities" of September 11:

In January 2000, Bob Gipson of El Dorado County, California, wrote his congressman expressing his fear that the U.S. government would orchestrate a terrorist attack on "certain" U.S. cities and blame the attacks on "Islamic terrorists." Gipson told Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-Ca) he thought the "operation" would be a platform for declaring martial law in the U.S.

When the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks occurred on September 11, 2001, Gipson had a sickening feeling this was the event he feared.

Gipson is among a growing number of Americans who doubt the official U.S. story of what happened September 11. More than 9,000 people have signed an on-line petition asking the U.S. Senate to investigate the "oddities" surrounding the attacks

Questioning the events surrounding September 11 is a burgeoning interest on the Internet. Independent researchers are providing information that throws in doubt the U.S. government's official story about the September 11 attacks. Mainstream media in the U.S. has side-stepped reporting or investigating these issues.

March 28, 2002

Yuck. Government officials laid flowers at a tomb Wednesday then sealed it on hundreds of human bone fragments, hoping to bury the debate on World War II human experiments by the Imperial Army. Some researchers believe the shattered skulls and thigh bones are the remains of nearly 100 prisoners of war who died in germ warfare experiments conducted by the Imperial Army's shadowy Unit 731 in northern China.

The bone fragments, some of which bore knife marks, bullet holes and drilling abrasions, immediately drew suspicion after they were unearthed in 1989 at the site of the wartime army's medical school.

The school was believed to have controlled the notorious Unit 731, based in Harbin, China, which historians and former unit members say injected prisoners of war with typhus, cholera and other diseases for biological war research.
Researchers say at least 3,000 people died of injections, human vivisection and induced gangrene in experiments or were executed later to keep them from talking. Most were Chinese but there also were Russians, Koreans and Mongolians.

From SmokingGun.com: "Frankly, TSG has never thought of itself as armed forces material. Until, of course, we learned about the Department of Defense's Resale Activities Board of Review, a posting for which we are both highly qualified and eager to serve. The board was established as a result of the Military Honor and Decency Act of 1996, which prohibited the sale or rental of sexually explicit material on DoD facilities. So how does Donald Rumsfeld & Co. determine what gets banished? That's the job of the Resale Activities Board, members of which meet at the Pentagon to review stacks of potentially objectionable publications and videos. The board then produces separate lists of what can and cannot be sold/rented (for example, our boys in Afghanistan will not be able to find a copy of "Shaved Orientails"). What follows are seven pages of DoD lists of outlawed material and four pages of stuff deemed not to be sexually explicit. (11 pages) "

Sorry to say our men & women in uniform will NOT be receiving "Juggs", "Jock Collector", and "Anal Action" any time soon, but maybe the new issue of 'True Stories: the Romance Edition' will make up for it.

Another slow day. At least the weather improved enough for us to plant the new blueberry bushes this afternoon. The bears will be very happy.

Crusader Bunnypants Fundraises as Middle East Burns

After months of doing nothing, the Chokin' Chimp administration suffered a string of setbacks to its newly active Middle East peace efforts this week, raising unsettling questions about its influence in the region and what steps it can - and will - take next.

The Clueless Cowpie said today that the American mediator, Gen. Anthony C. Zinni, was "making very good progress." But success has eluded recent American efforts, and an Israeli government spokesman said tonight that General Zinni's mission needs to be reconsidered. General Zinni failed to achieve a cease-fire this week and has put off further meetings. Vice President Dick Cheney declared that the Palestinian leader, Yasir Arafat, had failed to rein in violence enough to merit a meeting with him. Then Mr. Cheney failed to persuade Prime Minister Ariel Sharon of Israel that Mr. Arafat had done enough to merit a round-trip ticket to the Arab League summit meeting in Beirut that Washington had hoped might jump-start a peace process.

"The bush administration finally has to get real," said Henry Siegman, a Middle East expert at the Council on Foreign Relations.

Meanwhile, the Simian Sockpuppet vowed to continue a vigorous fundraising schedule and left for his money tour of South Carolina, Georgia, and Texas.
How Churchillian!: "The Senate races are very important for me, I want Republicans to take control of the Senate, I want Denny Hastert to be speaker of the House," the Yellow Puddle of Texas said. "These are the rules, that's why I'm going to campaign for like-minded people." WTF ??

Preznit Pretzal last year issued a presidential order on energy policy that closely followed a proposed draft given to the administration two months earlier by oil lobbyists, according to documents released by the Energy Department under a court order "The oil companies seem to be putting words in our president's mouth," Sharon Buccino, an NRDC lawyer, said at a press conference.

The Moron of Midland's national energy policy called on the EPA to review the regulations and interpretations of the Clean Air Act. The EPA recently completed that review with a decision to make the regulations more favorable to industry. Wow - bet he didn't see that happening. Idiot.

As the Warring Wonderbunny's homeland security czar, Tom Ridge leads the nation's fight against domestic terrorism and is asking Congress for a whopping $38 billion in taxpayers' money to develop an unprecedented new system of defense. But he doesn't think it is necessary to explain to Congress, and the public, how he intends to go about spending those funds. He is refusing to testify publicly under oath on Capitol Hill before the lawmakers responsible for overseeing the administration's budget. Yet democracies are supposed to operate in the sunshine, not the shadows. And the Two-bit 'Texan' repeatedly reminds us, "It's your money."

We are not talking here about revealing deep security secrets that might be helpful to an enemy. We are talking about whether a major Cabinet-level political figure should recognize that his role includes symbolic as well as substantive duties. The public cannot have confidence in a cringing czar who denies Congress its legal right to monitor the executive branch for waste, fraud, abuse and occasional stupidity.

The White House argument that voters should blindly trust the president's wisdom and judgment (how can they say that with a straight face?!?!?) is arrogant and probably unconstitutional.

0 According to Des Pascha Comutus, written in 243 CE, Jesus Christ's birthday was 28 March until changed in 336 CE by Rome
1939 the Spanish Civil War ended as Madrid fell to the forces of Francisco Franco, who's still dead.
1930 the names of the Turkish cities of Constantinople and Angora were changed to Istanbul and Ankara.
1943 composer Sergei Rachmaninoff died in Beverly Hills, Calif. He was the best-known of the unknown composers.
1979 America's worst commercial nuclear accident occurred inside the Unit 2 reactor at the Three Mile Island plant near Middletown, Pennsylvania.
5 yrs ago: A medical examiner revealed that some members of the Heaven's Gate cult who'd committed suicide in a California mansion had also been castrated in apparent pursuit of the group's ideal of androgynous immortality.
( - - Yahoo, Rotten.com)

Whenever my kids are having trouble at school, I like to tell them about myself when I was a kid. I wasn't very big, I wasn't the smartest, I wasn't the best in sports and, yes, I did get beat up a lot. Unfortunately, that's where the story ends, so it doesn't usually cheer them up much. ( - - Alf Whit, Top5.com)

Speedy Gonzales Banned by the Cartoon Network

Speedy has been deemed an offensive ethnic stereotype of Mexicans, and has been off the air since the cable network became the sole U.S. broadcaster of old Warner Brothers cartoons in late 1999. "[M]essages in cartoons like Speedy aren't appropriate in the 21st century, Cartoon Network spokeswoman Laurie Goldberg said. Hundreds of fans have engaged in an e-mail campaign to resurrect Speedy, gathering on animation-fan Web sites to debate and organize, according to Virginia Cueto, an associate editor at HispanicOnline who wrote an article about the cartoon controversy.

But there is a place where Speedy can still be found zipping across TV screens — and, presumably, where the crude stereotypes he embodies don't touch a cultural nerve.
That place: The Cartoon Network Latin America, where, ironically enough, Speedy Gonzales is "hugely popular," Goldberg said.

Experts urge race against time to unearth last secrets of Herculaneum’s lost library

CUT OFF by a muddy pool fed by an ancient river, close to the bottom of an excavation 30 metres deep, archaeologists exploring a villa buried by the eruption of Vesuvius in AD79 have found two great doors of carbonised wood.

Behind them could lie a lost treasure trove of Roman scrolls, scholars say, part of the celebrated lost library of the Villa of the Papyri. However, a unique chance to recover great classical masterpieces, lost to humanity for 2,000 years, could fall victim to flooding or a new blast from the volcano Vesuvius, they warn. The leading names of ancient Greek and Roman studies in Britain and the United States are pleading for urgent action before it is too late.

The Villa of the Papyri is described as one of the greatest Roman villas discovered in the world. It was a jewel in the crown of the city of Herculaneum, which served as the luxury seaside resort for the neighbouring city of Pompeii. Once the property of the father-in-law of Julius Caesar, its awe-inspiring scale moved one of the modern era’s richest men, John Paul Getty, to build a reconstruction in Malibu, California, and fill it with his extraordinary collection of Greek and Roman artefacts.

As Dick Cheney and the White House refuse to release even the most innocuous of information for public and/or congressional oversight, the national media refuse (for the most part) to ask any question to which Ari Fleicher may take offense. Any reporter asking questions that make the White House uncomfortable is likely to face being blackballed from asking further questions, or from being given timely information—at best—or worse, being removed from their assignment or fired altogether after a well placed phone call from someone on the White House staff. On the other hand, vigorously reporting that the Emperor is not naked, but wears the finest of silk suits will lead to greater wealth and advanced information (so long as the information paints the Bush administration in a positive light). Tim Russert doesn't mind being known as Jack Welch's bitch, so long as his contracts contain seven digit figures. And these days he can insulate himself from whispered criticism with plenty of like-minded people when visiting the corporate water cooler. No worries. The corporate CEOs have instructed their broadcast newsrooms to throw out any self-imposed code of ethics.

Winners include Rush 'the Vile Pigboy' Limbaugh: "If you take away the black vote, Bush won in a landslide."

William "Holy shit" Bennett: "Bill Clinton spent eight years in the White House having sex......WITH WOMEN!!!"

Howard "Pass the KY" Fineman: "Dubyah loves to wear the uniform-whatever the correct one happens to be for a particular moment. I counted no fewer than four changes of attire during the day trip we took to Fort Campbell in Kentucky and back...We saw, among other things, a leader who is utterly comfortable in his role... He's a boomer product of the '60s-but doesn't mind ermine robes... Bush envelops himself in the trappings of office. Maybe that's because he's seen it from the inside since his dad served as Reagan's vice president in the '80s. The presidency is a family business."

and Peggy "Pass the Depends!" Noonan: "George W. Bush is respectful, moderate, commonsensical, courteous...He is a modest man of faith. He has dignity. And he has a kind of joshy gravitas....He has a new weight, a new gravity, a new physical and moral comfort.... He possesses a sharp and intelligent instinct, an inner shrewdness...He is emotionally and intellectually mature."

30 Pontius Pilate condemned Jesus to death.
1794 President Washington and Congress authorized creation of the U.S. Navy
1866 Patent for a urinal is granted to Andrew Rankin.
1917 the Seattle Metropolitans became the first U.S. team to win the Stanley Cup as they defeated the Montreal Canadiens.
1985 John Brownhill, was celebrating his first hole-in-one in the clubhouse of Shortlands Golf Club when his wife Ena dashed in saying that she had just done the same - at the same hole. He used a seven iron, she a seven wood. Even if another couple had already bagged their first hole-in-one at the same hole on the same day, if was unlikely that they shared the same birthday, as the Brownhills did. And they were both insurance brokers.

1> Spraying "Eau de Mickey Rourke" ....mine is "Coming up with a Bushism"

Heard on Letterman: George W. Bush was in South America. Today he was in El Salvador and he made sure that everyone knew that he knew that means - "The Salvador."

Is the WH covering up the fact that they ordered flight 93 shot down on 9/11?

On that hectic morning, Cheney recommended that bush authorize the military to shoot down any civilian airliners - 'You bet,'" the Unelected Idiot told him.

"There is a plane 80 miles out," a military aide said. "There is a fighter in the area. Should we engage?" "Yes," Cheney replied without hesitation.
The military aide repeated the question, this time with even more urgency. The plane was now 60 miles out. "Should we engage?" Cheney was asked. "Yes," he replied again.
As the plane came closer, the aide repeated the question. Does the order still stand? "Of course it does," Cheney snapped.

Passenger Edward Felt of Matawan, N.J, calls from a restroom, saying that he saw a puff of smoke and heard an explosion, leading some to cite this as evidence that the plane was shot down by the military.

Within minutes, there was a report that a plane had crashed in southwestern Pennsylvania - what turned out to be United Flight 93.

March 26, 2002

David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz said his dog told him to kill all those people. Where do you think he found a dog like that? My dog only tells me to feed her, and occasionally to set fire to something.

(Kim Fuller, Top5.com)

Thank you, Mr Blowhard:

"Whether or not Vice President Cheney dashes back to the Middle East to parlay with Arafat, president Bush's policy has become incoherent. This damage was done by saying the vice presidential dash would be made if Arafat would recite (in Arabic; we are quite stern) a perfunctory lie scripted by the United States -- yet another reiteration of his vow to abandon violence, which is the vocabulary of his life."

"...It's my suspicion that a great many people are so stunned by developments that their minds haven't quite wrapped themselves around the new reality - the resident of the White House more resembling Howdy Doody yet trying to act like John Wayne, every thin-shouldered twit on TV news acting like he's a veteran of Guadalcanal, while Dick Cheney emerges from his undisclosed location in the shadow government to promise global war without end. The moment is surreal, and we don't know how to get a handle on it; it's entirely unimaginable, yet entirely real. Once George W. Bush stole the presidency, it's as if the whole country followed him down the rabbit hole and now up is down, good is evil, and our most emblematic nature found its clearest expression in a twenty year old sitcom character." -- Kent Southard at BushWatch

The Arbusto administration Monday released thousands of documents on its energy task force, showing that industry groups provided substantial input in drafting the president's energy plan.

In putting out 11,000 pages of documents before a midnight deadline, the Energy Department gave new ammunition to critics of the administration's energy policy, who say it is tilted in favor of the coal, gas, oil and nuclear industries.

The Energy Department withheld 15,000 pages of documents. Of the 11,000 provided, many were heavily redacted. The omissions fanned the controversy over the task force's secret meetings and contacts with industry groups, many of which were sources of sizable donations to the Chimp-Cheney campaign.

- - - read more at the LA Times. Some of the documents provided show that the California energy crisis was a hot topic at the Energy Department: e-mails on the subject were flagged as high priority - but their contents were removed. "Virtually all the e-mails we have seen have been completely blanked out," said John Walke, director of clean air programs for the Natural Resources Defense Council. "There are huge blank passages associated with the e-mails. Some of the sentences are cut off in the middle and redacted out in the bizarre way."

The world as video game:

Neither well traveled nor widely studied in matters of foreign politics and culture, the Warmongering Wonderchimp's foreign policy has been and remains mostly informed by a sort of unsophisticated nationalistic machismo that divides the world into Americans, who are good and right, and foreigners, who are good and right when they are willing to be useful to Americans and subject to dire consequences when they are not.

[A]s exemplified by the recently released Pentagon Nuclear Posture Review and Drinky McDumbass's explicit statements placing the use of nuclear weapons "on the table" in the promised war against Saddam Hussein's Iraq, is nuclear warfare in the realm of last resorts at this point. Daddy's Little Doofus's take on this issue seems to have been informed less by any serious consideration of the effect such a policy could have on the world situation than on the several hundred dozen virtual first strikes the Smirking Sockpuppet has doubtless launched during his long and well publicized career as a player of video games-- it's hard to imagine what else could lead him to think of such dangerous and destabilizing implements of mass destruction as simply another strategic option, another means of "winning the game."

Since the terrorist attacks of September 11th, Americans have by and large stood behind the Nooculer Nincompoop and supported his efforts in time of war. Through this policy, the Toxic Tinhorn has repaid that loyalty by not threatening, but promising to lead us down a path that is more dangerous and foolhardy than any we have tread before. It is time we took a long, hard look at where this respected leader is leading us, and made arrangements to let him play video games full time as soon as possible.

Casual readers of America's daily newspapers can be forgiven for wondering whether anybody at all opposes the War on Terrorism or the bush Administration's handling thereof.

As groups like Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR) have repeatedly demonstrated, daily newspaper op-ed stables are heavily conservative; the general range is from centrists like David Broder -- "centrist" in the sense of fawning profiles of whomever's in power, regardless of party -- to attack dogs like Krauthammer or conservative evangelical Christians like Pat Robertson or James Dobson. For balance, Molly Ivins, bless her, is about the only widely distributed writer whose opinions are consistently scornful of conservative, corporate state dogma. A handful of others get some distribution, but rarely outside the country's bicoastal liberal zones.

What is most remarkable about the far right crew -- aside from their selective morals -- is how many of them are willing to put other folks' lives on the line, but not their own. The New Hampshire Gazette has compiled an amusing yet depressing list of several dozen "chickenhawks" -- politicians (including both Dubya and Dick Cheney) and pundits who somehow found a way to avoid military service when their country called.

Among the chattering classes, perhaps the most amusing is Rush Limbaugh (who avoided Vietnam due to "anal cysts") but you'll recognize lots of other architects and apologists for massacre, too.

When all people see, read, or hear is minor variations on the same viewpoints, they're going to believe one or another variation on that viewpoint. Ask Mr. Orwell.

“I write this haunted by the prospect that a U.S.-Iraqi war has advanced well beyond the "contingency" phase, and that the last barrier of restraint, Secretary of State Colin Powell, has been broken by the will of a partnership of ideology and oil that is now set on war. I wonder now if anything can prevent this military move against Baghdad on which so many holding power and influence have set their heart.

“Start with the ‘neo-conservative’ faction. A day doesn't pass that the relentless pound of anti-Saddam war drums cannot be heard from the nearest Op-Ed page. Weekly Standard Publisher Bill Kristol has made a crusade of getting U.S. troops onto the streets of Baghdad.

“Again and again, they and like-minded rightists make the case for at U.S. attack on Baghdad. When the "neo-conservatives" cannot blame Saddam for Sept. 11, they try tagging him with the anthrax letters. When they cannot find a Baghdad connection to anthrax, they again try attaching Saddam to the World Trade Center and Pentagon horrors. “

- Yeah, Tweety, cry me a river….and when attacking Saddam doesn’t work, you and your neonazi wingnut pals try to put the blame on Bill Clinton. Well, f*ck you. You were more believable when you wet your panties over how “manly” the Smirking Simpleton looked in denim. Idiot.

As cold and lonely as the winter sky, the standing stones atop Burnt Hill have snagged the imagination of fiction writers and generations of blueberry pickers. But who erected them, and why, remains a mystery. All told, 21 stones, some weighing 300 to 500 pounds, have been jammed into the bedrock on the 1,855-foot high knoll in the state's wild northwest corner.

For the past five years, about a half-dozen members of the New England Antiquities Research Association, working weekends and winters, have been mapping and
puzzling over the stones. So far, the group has come up with more questions than answers, said Colgate Gilbert III, an amateur historian from Spofford, N.H., who heads the project.

They are not the first to wonder. H.P. Lovecraft, who summered here in the 1920s, also fell under the spell of the stones. According to local lore, the master of New England tales of the supernatural used the Heath stones to set the opening scene for his story “The Dunwitch Horror”.

[T]hey appear to point to the surrounding mountains, capturing such celestial events as the solstice sunrise and movements of the moon in the rugged teeth of New England's high peaks.

- - - Read more at The Telegram.com. Very interesting stuff! If anyone can find any pics, please let me know!

Integrity-deficient Hacks at the Washington comPost get Bitch-slapped by Carville:

"A Whitewater Farewell, at Last" said Robert Ray's "angry denunciation" of President Clinton for his criticism of the Kenneth Starr investigation was justified, but it conveniently forgot to remind readers that it was Mr. Starr's written opinion for the the D.C. Circuit Court that in 1987 overturned a million-dollar libel verdict against The Post.

Though loyalty is a wonderful virtue, it should have its limits -- especially when it collides with other ethical obligations. The Post's fawning editorial treatment of Mr. Starr over the years is a disgrace.

[Bernard "Whiny Gasbag"] Goldberg also hasn't a clue about the trend in which the three older networks have been losing market share. Their dominance has been smashed into fragments in which cable players like Chris Matthews and Bill O'Reilly exert a shrillness disproportionate to the size of their audiences.

Matthews yells aggressively while O'Reilly promotes a vision of America that has been described as aggressively dumb. And if O'Reilly's boss, Rupert Murdoch, the youthful Marxist turned aging right-wing zealot, isn't the most powerful media titan in America, it's not because he doesn't pretend to be.

1827 composer Ludwig van Beethoven died in Vienna.
1886 A 'fish-shaped' craft with 10 or so occupants was seen flying over Galisteo, New Mexico by a railway official and two friends.
1892 poet Walt Whitman died in Camden, N.J. I think the city went downhill right after.
1942 Nazis began sending Jews to Auschwitz
1971 East Pakistan proclaimed its independence, taking the name Bangladesh.
1979 the Camp David peace treaty was signed by Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat at the White House.
1992 A judge in Indianapolis sentenced former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson to six years in prison for raping a Miss Black America contestant. (Tyson ended up serving three years, and went on to abuse more people).
- - Yahoo, Rotton.com, ForteanTimes

White House spokes-tool Ari "the Liar" Fleischer said Saturday he was certain the Democratic leadership was behind the remarks that had broken "tradition" by "sounding a partisan note" while the president was abroad. I think the repugnicans broke the tradition when Bill Clinton was President, actually. How soon they forget, the sniveling dirtbags. See link below.

"When I first got elected, I said the best foreign policy for the United States is to have a prosperous, peaceful and free neighborhood," Hopalong Chimpy said in El Salvador. "I firmly believe that the best policy for the United States is to pay attention to our friends." Ummmmmmmmmm, you got what?? I think what you meant to say was when you got handed the Presidency by your daddy's cronies and the partisan crooks in the 'Supreme' Court, , you quickly did an about-face on your "uniter, not a divider" theme and alienated the rest of the planet with your arrogance, unilateralism, and stupidity.

The Connecticut Cowpie's trip, which included a two-day stop in Monterrey, Mexico, and an afternoon and overnight stay in Lima, Peru, was planned to emphasize that the administration is paying attention to the region after focusing for months on the war on terrorism and the conflict in the Middle East. Which translates to "since the Middle East is so fucked up right now, we're changing our focus to the oil pipeline over here!".
Snips from today's Washington Post

Hey, they're the party of honor and integrity, so it MUST have been perfectly innocent:

Last October, Army Secretary Thomas White, a former Enron Corp. executive, met or phoned former colleagues at the energy company as many as 13 times prior to his decision to sell more than 200,000 Enron shares at the end of that month, according to information he has provided a House committee.

A letter hand-delivered Friday to the office of Rep. Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif.), the ranking member on the House Government Reform Committee, lists 44 calls White made from his home to former Enron colleagues since taking office last May. They do not include calls he may have received on that phone.

The October telephone calls were made during a crucial period at Enron. That was the month in which accounting errors and financial misstatements first came into view, prompting a Securities and Exchange Commission investigation. Those disclosures undermined investor confidence and ultimately forced the company to file for bankruptcy,
- - - read more at the Washington Post

Oppose Drilling in Alaska's ANWR, Support Terrism!

The specter of Saddam Hussein is never far away when Sen. Frank Murkowski and his allies argue for drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Sen. Larry Craig invoked the Iraqi dictator's name at a recent ANWR press conference on the Capitol lawn.

The Idaho Republican asked who had gassed up their cars that morning. "If you did, then you contributed to the terrorist activity of Saddam Hussein. Thank you," he said darkly.

- - - What a tool. What kind of car does he drive, anyway? Click here for story. (Thanks to BuzzFlash)

Whore Media Pees its Pants at Latest Bon Mot from Smirking Simpleton

When asked how he would sign campaign finance legislation - reluctantly or wholeheartedly - the Toxic Tinhorn answered the question literally.

"I have a kind of a firm, semi-firm signature as it moves across the page," he said, to laughter at a news conference Sunday. Bravo! Now answer the question, dumbass! And what color crayon will you use? Semi-firm...some jokes just write themselves.... - - Yahoo Nooze

Fun Fact!

The journal 'Experimental Biology and Medicine' reported that regulating men's hand temperature has no effect on the temperature of the rectum but that regulating scrotal temperature does. (Volume 227, pages 105-107 (2002), thanks to News of the Weird)

ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER: Al Gore, by more than half a million votes.
- - - Ironic Times - - LOL!

'The 'Crayola Man'

Tom Ridge's plan for a colour-coded warning system to indicate the state of terrorist alert has made him and his office the butt of jokes The exercise has been a public relations disaster, as few people understand what the colours really mean or what they should do when, say, an orange alert is posted.

The majority leader in the Senate, Democrat Tom Daschle, is pushing for Mr Ridge to be called before Congress to explain how and why he is spending money on homeland security. The White House is refusing to let Mr Ridge testify, arguing that he serves as a presidential appointee and is not subject to congressional scrutiny. The Democrats in turn say this is an example of the increasing arrogance of the White House which is ignoring democratic checks and balances.

In many ways it is heartening to the see the fight shaping up between the Democrats and Mr Ridge. It is a sign that even in bush's war on terrorism, his administration finds itself under scrutiny for potential excesses.
- - Click here for story. Meanwhile, USA Today is reporting that screeners at 32 U.S. airports failed to detect hundreds of knives, guns or simulated explosives in tests by government investigators in the months after Sept. 11.

March 24, 2002

The Two-bit "Texan" and 'Two-bit Terrists':

Growing instability and violence in northern Latin America will challenge the bush administration's plans to launch a large crusade against Iraq, and smaller ones against the diverse Muslim groups opposed to American influence, or those fighting for independence from oppressive rule - all simplistically lumped together by the Connecticut Cowpoker as "terrorists."

Just two weeks ago in Afghanistan, the U.S. lost eight soldiers and dropped 3,300 expensive precision bombs against will-o-the-wisp opponents in a failed battle in the Shah-i-Kot Valley (shades of Vietnam's IaDrang Valley battles). America's arsenals are depleted; its military forces stretched thin - and the crusade against the nefarious "axis of evil" hasn't even been launched yet.

The 19th century American cynic, Ambrose Bierce, observed that Americans learn their geography from wars. Six months before becoming president, the Smirking Simpleton couldn't name the leader of Pakistan - whom he today hails as a champion of democracy and America's new best friend. This weekend, the non-geographic president will begin to discover the complexities of long-neglected Latin America. He will no doubt discover the continent is rich in new "terrorists," as the Lima bombing amply demonstrated.

Bush says he will defend America by fighting them all. But, as Frederick the Great rightly noted, "He who defends everything, defends nothing."

'Well, well, well. I guess it's official now. After years of right wing pundits and other forms of silliness making fun of Hillary's claim of a "right wing conspiracy" we all finally find out what most of us already knew. Hillary and the rest of us were right. Oh, I know that the conservatives are practically wetting themselves over Bernard Goldberg's book (which shall remain nameless here). They're also wetting themselves over David Brock's book,"Blinded By the Right" as well. And they're tripping over themselves between the two books. Once again, their hypocrisy is getting in the way. See, in order for them to hail one book, they also have to hail the other. And that is causing them quite a bit of anguish. And their squirming dilemma is delicious!'

- - - this comes via SmirkingChimp.com also - you have to get over there!!

Crusader Bunnypants - all talk, no action but stupidity:

"The mix of self-pity and self-congratulation that marked the six-month anniversary of the World Trade Center catastrophe was both surrealistic and sick. In the midst of vows to move on to the "second phase" of the "war on terrorism" and the noisy celebrations of American patriotism (with talk of using nuclear weapons on the "axis of evil" sounding in the background), no one said what is self-evidently true: There has been only a marginal decline in the danger of more terrorism.

"No one should be fooled by the elaborate system of harassment of air travelers at the airports around the country. Most of the pawing and groping, the peering at shoes and the breaking of fingernail files is farcical. The farce descends into madness when cretins want to strip-search a 79-year-old nun with a hip replacement and confiscate a Medal of Honor from an 80-year-old war hero (and former governor). None of this stuff is going to stop a determined hijacker who has checked baggage with a bomb in it and boarded the plane.

"About all the CIA seems able to do is to provide raw material for Tom Ridge's cute new color-coded alert system. Unless there is deep reform of these agencies (to say nothing of Immigration, which gave permission to the terrorists to change their visas six months after Sept. 11), nothing else really matters. The question remains whether such reform is possible.

"Thus for all the flags, all the manic singing of "God Bless America," all the bellicose rhetoric of the president, all the hyper-patriotism, all the elaborate security precautions, all Attorney General John Ashcroft's destruction of civil liberties, the American people are not much safer than they were Sept. 10."

“Taking his time, George W. Bush formulates a measured response—which turns out to be the most expensive bollocking ever unleashed against shepherds.” The article in the London Observer concludes: “Today in these pages, we help you make up your own mind about the absolute necessity of fighting the ongoing war that is Operation Improving Bloodbath.”

Ouch. The rest of the page is filled with an iconic photo of the World Trade Center towers shrouded in smoke and flames—alongside the now-famous contemporaneous photo of pResident Bunnypants, seemingly dazed and confused, as an aide whispers into his ear the terrible news of what has just happened in New York.

Ever since the New Year, the gloves are increasingly coming off as Britons reassess the long-running “special relationship” between the U.S. and the U.K.

“Most of [my] colleagues who are screaming about the war never wore a uniform other than the Boy Scout uniform.”

California congressman Pete Stark tells it like it is! Go to BuzzFlash - proof you can be patriotic and have functioning ‘nads! “[T]here are some of us who remember this world in the 1930s, when Hitler suspended the Bundestag to promulgate conservative ideology and not let people speak. It is a shame that the Republicans in the House, Mr. Chairman, have taken up that same ideology and are denying a chance for debate and open discussion of a budget. It does smack of fascism”.

Order your SUV today!:

Maryland's population of Baltimore orioles, long in decline, could vanish altogether late this century because of dramatic changes in migration patterns and declining habitats strongly influenced by global warming.

A new study by the National Wildlife Federation and the American Bird Conservancy suggests that the effects of global warming may be robbing Maryland and a half-dozen other states of an important piece of their heritage by hastening the departure of their state birds.
From The Houston Chronicle.

St Gabriel's Day Gabriel is supposed to have brought God's seed to the Virgin Mary, and according to St Luke (1:28), 'came in unto her' or had a sexual intercourse with her. Some theologians thought Gabriel carried the seed in his mouth and it entered Mary through her ear. As Jiblril in Islam he revealed the Koran to Muhammad. In 1982 a hitch-hiker in Bavaria claiming to be the Arch-angel Gabriel, foretold the end of the world in 1984, and apparently vanished from cars at will. The Catholic Church pronounced that Gabriel could not possibly appear as a hitch-hiker. ( ---Fortean Times, Rotten.com)

March 23, 2002

Comet Sighting!

Comet Ikeya-Zhang, discovered by two amateur astronomers in February, can be seen streaking across skies over the Northern Hemisphere for the next several weeks, scientists said on Thursday. No telescope is needed, but binoculars are recommended. To find the comet, look in the western sky shortly after sunset and locate the
planet Mars -- that will be a red point of light about 18 degrees up from the horizon. To the right of Mars are two bright stars in a nearly vertical line. The comet is at the same height as Mars, to the right of the two bright stars about as far again as the distance from Mars to the stars.

Observers should be able to see the comet's bright, star-like nucleus surrounded by a fuzzy cloud of dust and gas called the coma. The comet's tail streaks points nearly straight up from the horizon.

The comet should be visible in the west-northwestern sky for several hours after sunset for the next few weeks. On this trip, the comet came closest to the sun on March 18 and now is headed back into deep space. (from Yahoo News)

New: added seven more baby lampeye killies to the tank. The cat is verrrrrrry pleased, and is celebrating by licking his balls.

1989 a 1000-foot diameter asteroid misses the Earth by only 500,000 miles. (Astronomers did not see it until it passed.).

1997 Five dead bodies are found arranged in a cross formation at the burned Quebec home of Didier Queze. They were members of the Solar Temple cult who in 1994 to 1996 had totalled 69 suicides in Europe and North America.

1997 Heaven's gate suicides leave 39 dead, all wearing NIKE shoes.

from Rotten.com - weird stuff there.

Internet is verrrrrrrrrry slow today, so I'm going to take a break 'til later.
One more link for now: some excellent 'toons at Political Strikes.com !

Congressional probes into Enron Corp. turned for the first time to the White House yesterday. A Senate committee issued subpoenas to the collapsed energy company and its accountant to see what role Enron had in creating the administration's energy policy.

The batch of 29 subpoenas significantly expands the Enron investigations in Congress to examine not only the firm's corporate failings but also its political contacts. The subpoenas add a new front in the battle to obtain information about the White House's energy task force

The move by the Senate committee escalates Congress's challenge to the Toxic Tinhorn's administration. Until now, the congressional committees examining Enron had not looked at the company's interactions with the White House. The GAO's lawsuit is not specific to Enron; it is seeking to identify all interested parties that had contacts with the task force. The administration has said the task force met with Enron officials six times.

Lieberman's committee demanded all documents from Enron and its directors regarding communications between Enron and the White House or other federal agencies about the national energy policy, which was drafted by a task force led by Vice President “dick” Cheney.

Enron’s Sec. Of the Army Used Military Jet for Colorado Visit, Stiffing US Taxpayers

Earlier this month, Army Secretary Thomas E. White and his wife flew to Colorado on an Army jet and closed on the sale of their three-story Aspen house, according to Army officials and sources in Colorado.

An airfield operator there who did not want to be identified said he saw a jet with the words "United States of America" emblazoned on its side arrive about 4:30 p.m. After the landing, he said, he saw White and his wife leave the jet and get into one of two sport utility vehicles with government plates and a security detail. The SUVs, he said, then drove off in the direction of Aspen.

White, who was an executive with Enron Corp. for 11 years before he was appointed Army secretary last spring, and his wife are trying to sell a town house in the ski resort.

A DoD directive notes that the Army secretary is required to use military aircraft for travel on official business but specifies that authorizing officials "shall ensure that an official, rather than personal, purpose is served" by the travel. "As a general rule, a family member may not accompany his or her DoD sponsor who is traveling on official business," the directive says. Exceptions are made, however, "where there is an unquestionably official function in which the family member is actually required to participate in an official capacity."

Because Army officials declined to disclose the nature of White's business during the trips, it was unclear how his wife's presence was justified. Estimates of the hourly cost of operation of the Gulfstream range from $1,200 to $6,000 an hour, but, hey - we're all patriotic, red white 'n' blue Amurkins, right?

March 22, 2002

psycho/babble: 'Right-wing pundits, who cling to the thinnest of Clinton-bashing threads, believe they've been vindicated. "We've never not claimed that the Clintons weren't not guilty," a nonanonymous source at Rush Limbaugh's Excellence in Broadcasting (LOL! Don't get me started!!) offices said. "We've only said that their not being guilty is no excuse for not being responsible for the negative results of their administration ... or not."'

You tell me! From The LA Times , "A Nonsensical Nonverdict on a $70-Million Nonissue"

Bushism of the Day: "We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat—I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit." - - the Oaf of Office, O'Fallon, Mo., 3/18/02

Down an alley off Reykjavik's main shopping street, travelers will find an odd example of one man's life work, the Icelandic Phallological Museum, more commonly referred to as the penis museum. Sigurdur Hjartarson, a high school history teacher, erected the museum in 1997, after collecting dozens of penises from the various mammals of his
homeland.

Hjartarson gladly bestows on visitors penile pearls of wisdom acquired during his quest to acquire a complete collection. "I have a bone from a hamster, it's less than two millimeters," he said. "Every species has a different shape and form and that should make it interesting." In addition to the hamster organ, the display includes penises from skunks, rams, dolphins, and horses as well as an impossible-to-miss penis from a killer whale, which in its flaccid state measures six feet (2 meters) long.

Tanned penises dangle from rope, dried penises are hung like trophies on the wall, while pickled penises adorn shelves and fill large specially designed Lucite cases.

For visitors' viewing pleasure, many of the items are displayed under the light of ram testicle lamps created by Hjartarson.
---Yahoo News

Today in History:

1882 Congress outlawed polygamy.
1895 Auguste and Louis Lumiere showed their first movie to an invited audience in Paris.
1933 during Prohibition, President Roosevelt signed a measure to make wine and beer containing up to 3.2 percent alcohol legal.
2002 Rare sighting of Democratic genitalia in Washington DC

In other news, the Smirking Simpleton is asking for 27.1 billion dollars for his terra war. Oh just great - what now, are they adding new shades on his color-coded alert chart? How ingenious! How effective! We're a global laughingstock! I know: add brown - it would be sooooo apropos.

No, wait - maybe the extra money will be used to hush up those who are saying the anthrax attacks were caused by someone who worked for the CIA or the Defense Department. Huh - we really don't hear much about the anthrax "investigations", do we? I wonder why that is?

Captain Cowpie also asked Congress on Thursday for an additional $29 million to help Colombia "combat terrorist kidnappings and expand the reach of its police to areas previously not under government control." This is on top of the hundreds of millions in U.S. anti-drug funds we're already giving them - but there's more: included in the request is $25 million to provide "critically needed training and operational assistance for counter-kidnapping training for the Colombian armed forces and police units." --- (Yahoo News)

What they're not saying is that Columbia has oil. The Cano Limon pipeline is buried 6ft underground, but its route is clearly marked by oil slicks and scorched earth - the result of incessant bomb attacks by the rebels. Since it was completed in 1985, the pipeline has been holed so many times that locals call it "the flute". The attacks reduced by $75m the profits of Occidental Petroleum - an enthusiastic supporter of US military aid to Colombia. Now the US government is seeking congressional approval for $98m to provide helicopters, equipment and training for a new Colombian army brigade to guard it.
(more at The UK Guardian)

Being repukes, the preferred targets are either missing or undeveloped, so the EU finds the next best thing. The European Union is making plans to retaliate against pResident Bunnypants' recent imposition of steel tariffs by hitting the Grand Hypocrisy Party where it hurts the most: at the ballot box. Many of the targeted industries are concentrated in states such as Florida, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and West Virginia, which the Simian Sockpuppet battled for in his stolen election. These states figure prominently in the White House's effort to retain control of the House of Representatives in the fall elections.

EU Trade Commissioner Pascal Lamy, who is preparing the hit list, said his strategy is to get the White House to change course by hurting regions and companies the BFEE** needs politically.
--- (MSNBC.com) - - Hey, don't they understand there's a war on?!

Speaking of which, Iraq has pissed off Washington by asking the United Nations to look into the U.S. threats to topple President Saddam Hussein. How dare they! Don't they realize they're part of the Axis of Evil and therefore must be destroyed by more compassionate, freedom-loving nations?!

'Nads on Display, part II

Senate Democrats and repugnicans are on a collision course over Sen. Joe Lieberman's decision to subpoena key Enron officials regarding their dealings with the Unelected Idiot's White House.

Lieberman, the Connecticut Democrat who chairs the Senate Governmental Affairs Committee, plans to pursue the subpoenas this week in an effort to probe possible improper dealings. But Senate repukes strongly oppose the subpoenas as an "unwarranted fishing expedition". Of course they do. I mean, it's not like it's another Whitewater!

Lieberman's move comes at a time when Democratic activists and some members of his caucus are pushing for more aggressive scrutiny of the failed energy giant's political influence, especially its clout with the Drinky McDumbass administration. Sources close to the situation say that Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.), the ranking member on the committee, wants the probe to exclude current members of the administration and possibly even Sen. Phil Gramm's wife (R-Texas) Wendy, who served on Enron's board of directors.

Many Senate Democrats support taking a close look at the White House. Some even say that Democrats have not been critical enough of the Pretzalabuser's administration. Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), the chairman of the Commerce Committee, which has been one of several panels investigating Enron, said Democrats need to be more outspoken. "[Constituents] really started giving me the business at home", Hollings said.

House members took aim Thursday at the Connecticut Cowpie's Cuba policy, calling for an easing of the trade embargo and an end to restrictions on travel to Cuba by Americans.

Rep. William Delahunt, D-Mass., said it was an anomaly for the government to bar most Americans from visiting Cuba while allowing them to visit Iran and North Korea.

"By my calculation that's two-thirds of the axis of evil," Delahunt said, referring to the description of Iran, Iraq and North Korean by pReznit Pretzal in his State of the Union address.
- - - LOL! - - - -from LJWorld.com

Arianna Huffington hands out the Political Oscars!

Best Performance in a Drama: Tom Wilkinson as the grief-stricken father in "In the Bedroom"
Worst: Jeffrey Skilling as the amnesia-stricken Enron exec in "In the Senate Hearing Room"

Most Amusing Portrayal of a Ditzy Airhead: Reese Witherspoon turns Harvard Law School on its ear in "Legally Blonde"
Least Amusing: House Speaker Denny Hastert -- third in line to the presidency -- fails to say or do a single thing of interest in "Legally Bland"

Best Response to Charges of Anti-Semitism: "A Beautiful Mind's" John Nash's explanation that he was having schizophrenic delusions
Worst Response: "The Nixon Tapes'" Billy Graham's explanation that his anti-Jewish rants "do not reflect" his "views"

Best Special Effect: Daniel Radcliffe using the Invisibility Cloak to make himself disappear in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"
Worst: Tom Ridge using the Technicality Cloak to avoid appearing before Congress

Most Regrettable Act of Censorship
Movies: A shot of Britney Spears flashing her bare breasts in "Crossroads" ends up on the cutting room floor for fear of an R rating
Politics: Attorney General John Ashcroft demands that curtains be placed across the bare breasts of a Justice Department statue during his press conferences for fear of distracting reporters from the even bigger boob standing in front of them

"This Office investigated whether President and Mrs. Clinton knowingly participated in any criminal conduct related to Madison Guaranty, CMS, or Whitewater Development or had any knowledge of such conduct. This Office determined that the evidence was insufficient to prove to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that either President or Mrs. Clinton knowingly participated in any criminal conduct involving Madison Guaranty, CMS, or Whitewater Development or knew of such conduct. The evidence relating to their testimony and conduct, in connection with this investigation and other investigations involving the same entities, was also, in the judgment of this Office, insufficient to prove to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that either of them committed any criminal offense, including perjury (18 U.S.C. § 1621) or obstruction of justice (18 U.S.C. § 1503)."

F*ck you, bushmoonies - read it 'n' weep, assholes! Ha ha ha ha ha!! ...... As a bonus, Sen. Leahy is now asking Ashcroft and the General Accounting Office to investigate whether 'independant' counsel Robert Ray broke any laws, regulations or ethics rules - seems as if he began his campaign for New Jersey Senator while still investigating former President Clinton. Hmmmmmmmmmmm......
- - - from the NY Times

Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) scored a knockout over Pickering. "Senator Daschle... has said that we are not going to be in a payback mode. We are not going to treat them like they treated us. If we did, Judge Pickering would not have had two hearings ... Until Judge Edith Clement received a hearing on her nomination to the Fifth Circuit court last year, there had been no hearings on Fifth Circuit nominees since 1994 and no confirmations since 1995 . If Senator Leahy wanted to get even, he had a lot of even to get because he was not very well treated as a ranking member of that committee. In 1999 the Fifth Circuit declared an emergency because it had three vacancies that had not been filled... Jorge Rangel was nominated to the Fifth Circuit in 1997 by Bill Clinton ... Enrique Moreno was first nominated to the Fifth Circuit in 1999... H. Alston Johnson was first nominated to the Fifth Circuit in 1999..." These three nominees NEVER had a hearing or a vote under Republican rule .

from Truthout.com ........ Boo-f*cking-hoo, repugs. You don't have a leg to stand on. Don't you have any shame? After the crap you pulled for 8 years? Pathetic!

You can't help but cackle over the statement released by Republican National Committee head Marc Racicot last Thursday, the one about the Senate Judiciary Committee's rejection of George W. Bush's nominee to the federal appeals bench. Racicot called the voting down of the nomination of Judge Charles Pickering to the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals "an extreme subversion of the will of the United States Senate and the American people," an action that was decided upon by "just ten Senate Democrats."

His outrage is funny because, as one reader pointed out to me, the very process that brought Bush to the White House itself was, to a great many of us, "an extreme subversion" of the will of the people, and a decision made by just five judges. We know all about "extreme subversion," Mr. Racicot, thank you. Here's a guy who is still getting a check from a lobbying firm while he's running the RNC - and is a former Enron huckster to boot - lecturing the rest of us about ethics and fairness. Cute.

The Republicans' whining is even more laughable considering their own past behavior. They torpedoed Clinton nominee after Clinton nominee to the federal courts and elsewhere in government, all qualified individuals who were turned into bogeymen. And let's not forget the refusal of then Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott-who now says he is taking his friend Pickering's rejection "personally"-to allow a vote on the nomination of James Hormel as ambassador to Luxembourg for no other reason than that Hormel was gay.

(snipped, via SmirkingChimp.com)

" We can all sleep easier knowing that the Immigration and Naturalization Service intends to stop mailing out visa approvals for dead hijackers. " - Carl Hiassen, miami.com

There'll be no ice cream for you tonight unless you control yourself :

No, he's not King GeorgePresident Bush is throwing a royal hissy fit over the Senate Judiciary Committee's rejection of Mississippi Federal Judge Charles Pickering's nomination to serve on the Deep South's 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Never mind that Pickering, whose record of hostility to civil rights can be traced from the 1950s through the present day, was such a legally inept and ethically challenged jurist that even the most moderate members of the panel opposed his nomination. Bush is furious that his choice was not rubber-stamped by the Senate.

The president - who lost the 2000 election by more than 500,000 votes - now complains that democracy itself has been undermined by the Senate's action. The tantrum is typical of the president and his partisans, who celebrated Bush's selection by the Supreme Court as the dawn of an era of right-wing hegemony in which their whims would become law and their friends judges.

---more at The Capital Times ...... Meanwhile, Senate Minority Leader Trent "Whining Windbag" Lott is still acting like a petulant 3-year-old. Last week he opposed the Judiciary Committee receiving an additional $1.5 million to look into the agencies involved in Sept. 11 investigations (yes, that's right!), derailed an energy amendment by Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) on Tuesday, and yesterday used parliamentary maneuvers to block Judiciary from completing a hearing. According to today's Roll Call, he's planning on doing this on a daily basis. So much for "changing the tone in Washington". The hysterical hypocrites, frothing at the mouth, threaten to stall and shut down the government again - oh please! Do it! It worked so well the last time!

Dickheads.

Today in History

325 The vernal equinox was set on this day at the council of Nice.

1312 The Knights Templar, a paramilitary mystic Christian cult, were suppressed in England on this day, having already been wiped out of France and the rest of Europe. Their last Grand Master, Jacques de Molay, was burnt at the stake in 1324 declaring that the pope and king responsible for his death would be dead within a year, which they were.

1871 journalist Henry M. Stanley began his famous expedition to Africa to locate the missing Scottish missionary David Livingstone.

1945 during World War II, Allied bombers began four days of raids over Germany.

1946 the United Nations set up temporary headquarters at Hunter College in New York.
1963 the Alcatraz federal prison island in San Francisco Bay was emptied of its last inmates at the order of Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy.
1997 President Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin wrapped up their summit in Helsinki, Finland, still deadlocked over NATO expansion, but able to agree on slashing nuclear weapons arsenals.

...Yahoo News and the Fortean Times 2002 DC area serenaded by teeny violins as tears of rage from the GOP (Gas-Oil-Petroleum) causes run on tissues, toilet paper.

Search for a king's grave

Within the next few weeks archaeologists will be descending on the site behind the Royal Bank of Scotland in Murray Place. They'll be looking for remains of a 13th century church of the Dominican Black Friars which was demolished in the late 16th century. Legend has it that Richard II of England - or an imposter - was buried at the church.

Richard was deposed by his cousin Henry IV in 1399 and imprisoned in Pontefract Castle where he allegedly died of starvation in 1400. The body was buried in Hertfordshire but almost immediately rumours began to circulate that Richard had escaped to Scotland, where he was being cared for by Robert, Duke of Albany.

More than 200 bones were discovered during the excavation and Dr Page has suggested using DNA tests to find out if they belong to Richard II.
--- more at The Stirling Observer