Those pesky health & safety people kept bugging us about not having a fire alarm, or pest control, or sinks in the bathroom. So we bought this broken fire alarm for 50 cents on ebay. The quotation marks serve (a) to inform employees and visitors that they're not actually protected from fires and (b) to mock those whiny little inspectors ("get a fire alarm! get a fire alarm! nnnyeahh!!" You happy now?).

I've heard that instead of shouting "help" if you're in trouble it is better to shout "fire" as people are more likely to lend aid if you shout the latter rather than the former. This is obviously some sort of help alarm masquerading as a fire alarm to get attention.

The best word to describe the picture is that is an alarm fire which will be loudly when temperature around it has been changed extremely (to be heater because a conflagaration has found).i bet it will the best answer!

I could be wrong, but those quotation marks kinda look like 66 99... Perhaps this object attracts more attention with sixes and nines around it... Or, maybe someone famous installed the fire thing and wasn't given proper credit. I don't know, man. This is freakin confusing.

I'm pretty sure BillP got it right. It's not actually a fire alarm. It's a "fire alarm." It presents itself as a fire alarm, but it is not one. The quotations are a disclaimer, in case anyone confuses it with a real fire alarm.

My theory goes as follows: it's a "fire" "alarm" "." That is, instead of alarming people in case of fire, it alerts the "people" in charge (read: soulsucking managerial "life-"based carboforms) that the temperature of fun (don't ask; I don't know) is rising to "dangerous" levels and dispatches the Killjoy Squad to "deal" with "it" "."

I've got it!!!!!!!!!"("'!'")" Instead of making an annoying buzzing sound and strobing all the while, it says "Fire.""Fire.""Fire." over and over, pulsing the strobe in unison with the monotone excuse for a human voice! It all makes sense now!!

Perhaps the quote marks were there first? Between them was written in much smaller font " insert alarm here " Building codes often specify how many alarms are needed and where they should be placed. So to aid the construction workers--

Just when i think i've got it figured out who is more right Elizabeth or Bruce, along comes John.....

What i really love is that months later people are still commenting on this!

I just spent the funniest hour of my life in the dentist's office reading your book. I made a complete idiot of myself laughing until I cried! I went right out and bought two of them as Christmas presents. I still hate going to the dentist, but it sure did make this trip easier. So, so funny.

It appears to be a standard Simplex brand horn strobe like those I have installed when I was doing that kind of work. There is only a power wire connection which operates the sound and light features of the horn strobe when the alarm is activated. The main panel is connected to an auto-dialer which calls the monitoring station or local fire dispatcher.

is the "fire extinguisher" ad at the bottom of the "fire alarm" comments a happy accident -- or did someone at Home Depot actually have a sense of humor and run it there on purpose? Oh please, does anyone know?

I have the answer. The quotation marks are present so that the fire alarm fully complies with the Americans with Disabilities Act. You see, deaf people see the alarm light and know that it is a symbol. Since symbols such as sign language represent actual words to the deaf, seeing the alarm light is akin to someone yelling, "Fire!" to them. There is a little-known clause in the A.D.A. which stipulates that all emergency postings must be grammatically correct. Fire marshals frequently pull this one out when they can't find anything else to cite you with.

I don't usually post the following: newspaper headlines, personal email, craigslist postings, unprofessional websites. I also tend to not crosspost things from other blogs, since I have so much unique material waiting for me to get to it.