CITY DIARY: Wetherspoons boss was too stocky for squash

Forthright Wetherspoons publican Tim Martin, who at 6 ft 6 in is built like a rugby second-row forward, tells Desert Island Discs’ Kirsty Young that he originally set out to be a squash player.

Despite constant practice, it soon dawned on Martin, 62, that he probably wasn’t equipped with the necessary physique, lamenting: ‘I saw the Open [Squash] Championship at Wembley and realised I was heavier than both the finalists put together.’

Virgin tycoon Sir Richard Branson, 67, who recently sued the NHS over missing out on an £82million contract, tells Twitter he checks social media before going to sleep as the feedback makes him feel ‘very humbled’.

A few samples of Beardy’s bedtime reading last night: ‘Amazed you get any sleep suing the NHS from your tax haven island’; ‘I don’t know how you sleep at night’; ‘Are you done counting all that NHS cash?’ Very humbling!

Most unlikely quote of the weekend goes to incorrigible Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary, 56, who told online TV channel At The Races of his airline’s recent pilot shortage: ‘I think it confirmed what a people have always said which is I don’t walk on water, I’m a pretty average manager and I make lots of mistakes.

Humility is a very good thing in a human being.’ What’s the rascal been smoking?

Sniffy lawyers are already poking holes in ITV’s Crown Court, which returns to our screens on Friday following a 30-year absence.

A still of the opening episode, which features TV’s camp-as-a-kipper real-life counsel Judge Rinder, 39, shows a barrister dressed for court in a tie, when, as one QC points out, he should really be wearing court bands.

Do we care? Surely the show’s creaky sets and implausible plot lines are what made it fun the first time round.

Finally, a reason to cheer Bitcoin’s surge in value.

Publicity-prone pop tart Lily Allen once claimed she turned down 200,000 Bitcoin to take part in a live stream on online virtual world Second Life in 2009.

Back then they were worth just £800. What would gobby Lily’s stash be worth now? Oh, just a trifling £1.7billion.

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