David Boreanaz: ‘My penis is a victim here!’

David Boreanaz essentially pulled a Letterman by announcing he cheated on his wife in an attempt to stop his mistress – who may or may not be Tiger mistress #1 Rachel Uchitel – from extorting him via Gloria Allred. E! News reports:

“Marty Singer attempted to contact a woman who had a romantic relationship with David Boreanaz. She then retained me,” Allred says in a statement.
“I then contacted Mr. Singer on her behalf to find why Mr. Singer was calling her. We discussed the possible resolution of my client’s legal claims against Mr. Boreanaz by mediation. My client has not told her story to the press, but now that Mr. Boreanaz is attacking her, she has decided to tell the story of their relationship, so that the truth will come out.”
Allred then drops any pretense of politeness: “This baseless attack by David Boreanaz and his highly paid legal mouth piece in an apparent effort to divert attention from his client’s extramarital infidelity will not succeed. If they think that I or my client will be intimidated they are wrong.”
Singer’s not having any of it, however.
“On April 23, the woman left a very threatening message that she was going to the media, that my client had not given her enough money,” he retorts. “It is true I did leave a message for the woman because of the extortionist threat she left with my client. On Monday, I received a call from Gloria Allred and she told me the woman was looking to get paid at least six figures.”

Legal shenanigans aside, I love how David Boreanaz is trying to paint himself as an innocent victim here. I mean, can’t a wealthy actor cheat on his wife without the other woman expecting a payout? Whatever happened to the dignified days of sleeping with a married man and then letting him accuse you of witchcraft in front of a tribunal of elders? I blame the Internet.