Do you know what that means, sweetheart, when mama says she's wearing a dress?

Sunday, June 28, 2015
7:31 PM

I think I should just call this the summer of East Texas rocking chairs.

Here we are last week, celebrating Kid 1's 15th birthday with some summer fun, Texas style, and homemade peach ice cream. And I did, for the sake of women everywhere, ask the young man who took the photo to please include a portion of my dress in this one so all our summer photos don't look like mom became a nudist.

Then we went to the Buc-ee's Travel Stop which is the largest convenience store you have ever seen in your life.

So large that you have to use your phones to locate lost family members. Kid 2 called me when I was in their world famous bathrooms - the sign really says that - hoping to meet up somewhere in the mid western quadrant of the place. So I asked him where they all were and I would've sworn he said they were by the wild Texas goats. To which I replied that I didn't know we even had wild Texas goats.

But turns out they were at Barbeque island and we eventually hooked up. And they all bought food in to go boxes and ate in the car in the parking lot. What other 15 year old gets to celebrate his big day like this?

We also celebrated Fathers Day in the same Walters tradition... by not doing much of anything really other than lunch, and a photo in the rain. Which I love.

And we had plans to go to a movie but the rain talked us out of it so we ended up on the couch watching Star Wars and I took a sitting up nap. I kinda love days like that. And I took Kids 1 and 3 to get new contacts and glasses which took 2 hours off our lives. The kids say it was 3. I eventually made them leave for fear of what the breakage would cost me so they went next door and kid 3 bought a pair of shoes with his own money. So it turned out to be a lesson in patience, independence and budgeting.

And we went swimming at a local pool with a friend and her kids and lots of people with tattoos and some with purple hair.

And yesterday we sent Kids 1 and 3 off together for a week of Boy Scout camp. Now our house seems unbelievably clean and quiet.

Wow this is a lot of boys. Which left me alone with kid 2 who wanted to go shopping for church clothes after church today because this is about the 14th week in a row that the kid has had nothing to wear. Today he went with a school uniform shirt, khaki shorts and flip flops for that carefree summer worship look. So we went shopping before lunch and about halfway through trying on this pair of jeans and that pair of khakis, mama's blood sugar was plummeting and I was considering the Godiva chocolate bars by the cash register. So I ended pretty much telling him he looked handsome in everything, in a 13 year old male model kind of way. And we just bought stuff to look at closer at a later date. Always keep your receipts. That's a mama rule the boys already have drummed into their heads.

Then we mistakenly timed our trip to the cafeteria too far behind when the 11 AM worshipers let out for lunch and right in time for the late crowd that feels the spirit till about 2ish gets hungry. So we stood in line for 30 minutes waiting our turn to order. Which definitely firmed up my plans for an afternoon nap. Anyway, as we sent the brothers off to camp in one direction of the state yesterday,husband, kid 2 and I went to enjoy a beautiful lake day with dear friends. Again, more East Texas. Kid 2 ran into a gas station in Sulphur Springs to get me a diet coke for my growing headache and came back to report that the cashier was about 8 feet tall and had missed his calling in professional sports. I told him this gas station job is probably just off season work when he's home visiting his mom. And the day was beautiful with a lake and a canoe and a zip line and a big tree swing and good food and a porch with fans and a beautifully air conditioned log cabin all decorated in Pottery Barn's finest. Which is totally my way of living the outdoor life.

Husband and I went out on the canoe a couple of times and I've found the most difficult part of that being how to get out of it. Which I couldn't do at all with any sort of grace till a stranger on the dock took my hand and assisted, and I told him I love him. I sometimes think I might be a bit of an embarrassment in some areas to my husband but he's generally kind enough not to admit it. Did I dream this or did this really happen? I swear husband said that if he had a ukelele with him that I could row the boat and he could play me a song. But he later killed a bug for me so I know down deep inside how he really feels about me. And all day kid 2 kept asking me to try the swing and the zip line and I kept telling him I was wearing a dress and how un-ladylike that would be. But he insisted till I finally pulled him aside and mentioned that mama can't get up there and swing through the air in mixed company because I am wearing a dress.... Do you know what that means, sweetheart, when mama says she's wearing a dress? It means mama is just wearing a dress. And nothing else. Because man it's hot out here at the lake. He won't ask me to swing again, I guarantee. And on the way home we got stopped for speeding in a tiny town east of somewhere but west of another. And since husband was perfectly lovely to the constable who asked him if he knew he was going 63 in a 55 mph zone, he decided to only issue a warning. Which I decided was just a short reprieve till we pass the next constable up the road and we better start using cruise control pronto. Then I had a bathroom emergency and the only place to go was the grocery store where constable #2 was parked, but temporarily unavailable for arrest or ticketing as he was in the pizza place next-door. So I told husband that to be safe, considering his history in that town and our expired inspection sticker, to just park far away and go in the store and buy some milk while I find the bathroom. Kid 2 can stay in the car and plead ignorance if the need arises. So husband and I escaped into the grocery store just like I think Bonnie and Clyde would've done had Bonnie needed to go to the bathroom and the family needed milk. Then we learned that Texas Highway 80 is a scenic 2 lane road all the way home and we finally got home to a starving dog at 10ish last night. But without a speeding ticket and with a gallon of milk that traveled from afar. It's a fun summer around here. I'm still working each day but I get home around lunch and have truly been enjoying my time with these fellas. Except for when I don't.