Nugent puts his enemies in a stranglehold

Updated 11:09 pm, Saturday, April 6, 2013

Nugent, the motor-mouthed madman of the American conservative movement, brought his self-touted business expertise to downtown San Antonio when he delivered the keynote address at a convention hosted by the Entrepreneurs' Organization, a network designed to help business owners learn from each other.

A cuddly Uncle Ted made only one joking reference to his wish that he could mow down South Central Los Angeles with an M-4 rifle; only dropped about 10 f-bombs in 50 minutes; paid tribute to the comedy stylings of the late Richard Pryor by laughing deliriously at the thought of Pryor's “Afro on fire” as the comedian ran from his home in 1980 with his body engulfed in flames; and showed great restraint by only once referring to President Barack Obama as a “Chicago gangster.”

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Working the convention and banquet circuit is something The Nuge does only during breaks in hunting season, or when he's not touring with fellow '70s warhorses such as Styx and REO Speedwagon. But he's a natural at it.

The reason he's such a natural is that he presents himself as a man who makes no apologies — for his lifestyle, his ideology and, especially, his hypocrisies.

For example, Nugent spent several minutes Saturday extolling the glories of his song “Stranglehold” — an anthem for countless hormonal, porn-craving young boys in the mid-'70s — and its signature line: “I got you in a stranglehold baby/and then I crushed your face.”

This spiel came only three months after Nugent sent a letter to Vice President Joe Biden, advising him that Obama's best move to curtail violence in America would be to make a public service announcement “encouraging parents to be more involved in their children's lives regarding entertainment choices.”

Wow, an idea like that could have ended Nugent's career back in 1974.

He's someone who has advocated the killing of all pedophiles, yet by his own admission had countless sexual encounters with underage girls, allegedly including a 12-year-old Courtney Love.

He speaks with evident passion about his support for the U.S. military, but has also bragged about avoiding the Vietnam-era draft by defecating and urinating in his pants for a week, so he could sufficiently disgust “these imbeciles in the armed forces.”

On Saturday night, he had little real entrepreneurial insight to offer, unless you consider his story about standing up to the know-nothings at his record label — when they wanted him to add keyboards and female backup singers to “Stranglehold” — to be a valuable business tip.

But he was a nonstop, don't-tread-on-me quote machine, describing an America that is under assault from nanny-state wimps within our borders.

“We're about to give up the greatest quality of life to become a suburb of Indonesia,” he said, chalking up the decay to the “Mao Zedong fan club in the White House.”

Call me a crazy optimist, but I came away from his speech inspired by the thought that if our nation can somehow harness the creative spirit, the rugged individualism, that once inspired The Nuge to compose “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang,” there may be hope for us yet.

Dems narrowing gubernatorial options

Last week's announcement by state Sen. Wendy Davis, D-Fort Worth, that she will stay out of the 2014 governor's race hardly qualified as a shock, but it does beg the already obvious question: What viable gubernatorial candidates do the Democrats have?

Davis' passionate crusade to restore education funding lost in the 2011 legislative session has made her a progressive favorite, but it's worth remembering that she barely escaped the 2012 election cycle with her Senate seat.

If we buy the conventional wisdom that a strong Latino candidate offers Dems their best shot next year, look for an intensified focus over the next few months on Dallas-based state Rep. Rafael Anchia and, possibly, on a campaign to draft San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro.