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Friday, August 1, 2008

I still hate Cleveland, even when we beat them.

Those Girls had a brief phone conference during the 5th inning to discuss the addition of Randy Ruiz to the line-up and to officially declare Unhappiness at no one having a hit yet. And then just like that, Brendan Harris psychically sensed our displeasure and fixed it for us in the next inning. Thank You Brendan. Thanks to your performance tonight, you have officially earned one at-bat with Cherry Pie that goes eye-roll-less. Enjoy it, man. You've earned it.

(Although, I do have a new coping mechanism to help me deal with Cherry Pie anyway....when I hear it, I just shake my head and say "You're killin' me, Smalls!" and it makes me feel better. Try it. It works.)

Welcome to Randy. A little I.L. birdie told me you've been wreaking havoc on other teams in AAA, so I hope you continue to do the same here for us. And your call-up gives me a great reason to dust off the AWESOME likeness of you that I drew during Spring Training:

I'm kind of surprised about how sad I am to see Livan Hernandez go. I'm definitely a lot sadder to see him go than I was to see either Ramon Ortiz or Carlos Silva, the two guys everyone compared him to, go their separate ways. And while I'm NOT sad to see the sleeveless vestiforms go, I think there may have to be a musical tribute slideshow to Livan and his poor fashion decisions to make me feel better. Stay tuned.

Craig Monroe deserves a shout-out too...he's a really nice guy, and pretty good at baseball when he wants to be. I hope he makes some other team very happy.

Whoa....I almost hit "Publish Post" before I realized that I had not yet mentioned that I hate Cleveland. And that's not OK....because I HATE Cleveland. And Paul Byrd pitches tomorrow...and I REALLY hate him. Weren't they supposed to trade him!? I was really looking forward to him getting traded.

15 comments:

Well, I have to say that everyone can thank me for yesterday's win and today's win. I literally paid for both. I bought 4 tix for yesterday's game at $20 a pop when the website told me they would be $11!!! So I told my friends that was the price until Mr. Official Ticket Seller Guy had to prove the interweb wrong. Then, on top of that, one of the people that was supposed to go with ended up in the hospital. (She's fine, just a bout of Anthrax. She was trying to make sure the terrorists didn't win... That's what she gets for playing the Game of Life with them) so on top of losing the difference between what I told people and the actual price, I had to hold on to a ticket I couldn't get rid of.Today, I COMPLETELY forgot to tell my buddy that I had to work with our regularly scheduled season tix (and I've known for about 2 months... my own stupidity) and he couldn't find anyone to take my spot, so another $20 down the drain... err, paid for the Twins to win. =)Oh... and I don't care one way or the other about the Indians and seeing Hernandez go is really about time, Monroe, good guy but meh. And I have no clue who Ruiz is, but I hope he's awesome.

Unfortunately, the most notable thing about Ruiz, prior to his hot-streak this season in Rochester, is that he had a couple of suspensions for steroid use....which he denied and blamed on having taken Viagra instead.

Ruiz is old (30), and has been at every level in the minor leagues, but he hasn't just been on a hot streak this year. He's a career .302/.369/.524 hitter in the minor leagues, which is very similar to his .320/.366/.536 line this year. He hits for power and strikes out a ton, while walking pretty infrequently. He's not a prospect, and I wouldn't expect him to hit anything like that in the majors, but he could be useful for what Craig Monroe was supposed to do: provide a right-handed power bat against lefties.

Okay…I am very tempted to bring a boombox to Kansas City with me and hold it up over my head during Harris’ walk-up and have it belting out “Cherry Pie” a la Say Anything.Also, do you think any other the other pitchers are going to step into Livan’s shoes and start choo-choo-choosing The Vests? I sure hope not.

My friends and I got into some serious Indian hating back in 06. It was then that we realized that Jason Michaels "must be" the little brother of Brett Michaels and so must "totally enjoy" having Poison songs sung at him.

It was around this same time that we realized that Grady Sizemore had the same eyes as Angie's cat. So if we were going to start calling Angie's cat Grady Sizemore, it would only make sense that we "meow" at Grady during the games, and expecially at his at-bats. This lead to the pitching advice for our boys known as the Ball of Yarn. You throw this at Grady and he's baffled every time.

I tried to share my knowledge with the world a while back. Unfortunately, I was banned from editing Wikipedia as a result.

But I don't feel like a hate Cleveland anymore. Probably because they are not doing well.