Do you tell your kids about PAS?

Question for Parents dealing with PAS:

In seeing this article about PAS, I’m seeking some advice from the community here. At what point do you explain to your children what PAS is, show them an article like this, and explain that this is what’s happening to them and to your relationship to them?

I have resisted doing this even thought my kids are 18 and 20 because I have felt like telling them there mom is doing this is in affect, blaming her for the the problems and sort of trying to alienate them from her as well, if that makes sense. I imagine that there response will be something conditioned from Mom like, “there’s Dad blaming Mom for all of his faults again” (ironic, because I’ve worked very hard to never do that to her, and she’s done that even in the years prior to divorce and ever since, yet I’ve heard the kids say this directly to me).

I feel like they need to know the insidious and subtle nature of how their mom is twisting their world, but then again, don’t know if they will ever be able to hear that from me. If I could just get a Psych 101 teacher to talk about this in their class at school, or a trusted friend to share this with them, I think it would be much more effective, but I don’t have anyone that could do that (that I am aware of at this point at least).

When and how have you shared the concept of PAS with your alienated kids? How did it go.

About this Blog

this blog is written by "Jim". He is a divorcing father of several teenagers. In his research on divorce and discussions with those in church and in friendships he had, he discovered that there was very little help for Fathers going through divorce -- especially those who didn't have the kids. Our culture glorifies the travails of the single parent and they are many. However, there is huge difficulty in being the parent "on the outs." This is a journey through the hills and valleys of that road.