You’re a nice guy. I get that. You think violence is stupid and unnecessary, and you’re right. But let’s play make-believe for a minute. It’s Saturday night. You’re walking out of the movies with your girlfriend, or maybe you’re in the lineup at a club. Some jerk eyes your date up and down and says, “Hey, baby girl. Where you goin’ tonight?” She ignores him. So far, so good. Then he grabs her arm and pulls her toward him. You tell him to let her go. He shoves you away with his free hand and says, “Whatta ya gonna do about it?”

I love how the woman in these situations is always a helpless, delicate flower incapable of acting on her own. What am I going to do about it? Laugh my ass off while my wife breaks his foot with her steel-toed boots, is what I'm going to do about it. Assuming she doesn't just flip him off and keep walking to begin with.