Hello. You may or may not know me. If you know me, you probably know me as the bastard who could at any moment burst into flames and destroy your self-esteem (TZ), or as a fellow falling into depression, or even as the one who couldn't be anymore egotistical. In any case, I'm not considered serious and/or worth taking seriously. I suppose this mod, designed for SCBW v1.15.1, proves it. This was perhaps my first serious foray into building a total conversion that ended up SOMEWHERE. It was played at a mod night once, but that was about it. For the most part, this mod was out of the spotlight. But you know what, it taught me a few things. It taught me how to turn completely berserk during the early hours of the morning, trying to f*cking save a mod in FireGraft properly so it wouldn't explode in my face. It taught me that the problem wasn't in FireGraft, but some gay f*cking nobrkcode opcode in the iscript of some obscure unit. It taught me sh*t. And that's what matters.

Well, no, that's not true. What I really want to say is that this was the effort of hours and hours and hours and hours of work. Easily over 42 hours has been spent on this. And, mind you, these 42 hours were pretty much consecutive -- if it were interrupted, it would be by bathroom breaks and sleep. Es'ir Prus featured some serious FireGrafting, iscripting, some of my first graphics editing, imported graphics, and death and dismemberment. It really is quite a work, one that I am proud of.

As I release it to ModCrafters now, there are only 3 versions, "v1bb" being the latest (I think the "bb" was some obscure reference to something -- most likely BBCode). And really, the only playable version is v1bb. There is no compatible AI. Zerg is broken beyond recovery, and Protoss is pretty f*cked up too somewhere. The balance for the MRP is still f*cking horrendous, and there is no DoICK faction. Why? Well, that's the main reason why I wrote this preface -- to mourn for the loss of my precious "child." Long story short, a hard disk drive format wiped the data for v2. And you know what, that really, REALLY, pissed me off. Because not only did I lose Es'ir Prus, but also another mod called "Threshold of the Universe." That mod, needless to say, would have been ground-breakingly fantastic. Except I lost both of my greatest prides. With that, my will instantly deflated and I brought the axe down on all modding projects I've had in secret (such as "Threshold of the Universe"), "Never Gonna Give You Up," and several other sh*ts and giggles.

Since then, StarCraft modding really has been a downhill ride for me. The summer of 2009 brought hope though -- I worked with Polaris and TassadarZeratul to produce "Peace is Deviation," something that makes me excited beyond description. Not that it ever really succeeded (I blame TZ still). The mod was never released, and that depresses me to this day. I got into plug-ins, but I have yet to do something major with them. And with my declining interest in everything, I haven't been able to get back into it, let alone modding StarCraft. Dicks. And you know what? F*ck it, you don't know, and don't care. But if you managed to get here, well, sh*t. Good job. Thanks for reading my lament.

Some time before the end of the Winter Modding Contest of 2008-'09... » [show]

In the year 2042, humanity underwent a second industrial revolution. However, due to what has been hypothesized to be a gravitational quark field isotope radiation meltdown so many light years away from the Milky Way galaxy that the Matrix was broken by a buffer overflow error, the past became the future and the present became f*cked up. Then, aliens from Mars came and raised the dead to help rebuild the Earth's molecular structure. After they had not even started the project, the super massive black hole at the centre of the Andromeda galaxy aligned with Earth's solar system and the Milky Way's super massive white hole and a giant phallic spaceship appeared exactly 13 parsecs away. Obviously not a coincidence, because on Earth's southern hemisphere, it was Friday. Thus, Friday and 13 parsecs away combined, propelling the giant phallic spaceship into Uranus. White spice promptly shot out from every single orifice on the dwarf planet Pluto, all of which were bent by the depressions caused by wavepool gravity-time warp effects and redirected in such a way so that the white spices' trajectory all were mathematically determined by the undead zombie-Galileo to land on George Bush's head.

Approximately 40 000 years later, a Chaos space marine dug up George Bush's head which happened to be on the surface of the Sun. They had a nice chat and a spot of tea, before the white spice from 40 000 years ago hit George Bush's head. At that point, George Bush became a divine being. He realized that he had done too little with his life many 40 000 billion years ago, and decided to return to the year 2009. He talked with his younger self, who immediately spat out all of his teeth and ate his own future fetus from the past. The 40000 year old George Bush grew impatient and returned to the year 2069 (since he had lived at the time before), and had babies with a dinosaur resurrected from the fossilized cells of extinct dinosaurs. He then starred in the film Jurassic Park 1337 before deciding that the burden of divinity was too great, and he passed it on to a clone of a clone of himself who suffered from hallucinations, insanity, retardedness, blindness, and lack of hair anywhere. The clone of a clone of George Bush transformed himself into an average 2069-Korean, who then decided to play StarCraft of World of DiabloCraft 5 for n^EPIC hours straight. This broke the universe and reverted it to the last functional state of existence. That was the year 2069. However, the Lord of the Rings decided he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, and made absolute certain that the name of the planet that will not be named here would not be the name of the planet that would not be named here because the Lord of the Rings decided it to be so.

So now we're on the planet Thrae, in the year 2069 when the third industrial revelation was ending. A new country was forming off of the northern coast of the United States of Bear Cavalry, where Adanac was not. This new country dissolved before it could be fully formed, but instead, at the next NATE meeting, the people who were going to form the new country proposed to create a different NATE (North Atlantis Tyrannical Empire): a FoAP. The Federation of Ace Pilots. FoAP's operations would run parallel to NATE, except when their was direct intercourse with both party's objectives. Several lesser known members of NATE such as KU (Killers United) and ICSM (I See Continents' Machina) murderously opposed this, to the point where they broke off from NATE and formed DoICK; the Division of Inter-Continental Killers. The rest of NATE, surprised and worried by such a violent reaction, decided that they would reform NATE and allow it to become the entire FoAP.The rest of the world had been closely monitoring the situation, and when the FoAP and DoICK emerged from the debates whereas NATE was liquidated, the world plunged into civil wars all across the globe. However, because of the occurrences during the third industrial revelation, the seas were far too polluted to be useful for sea warfare. Thus, the battles became largely in the skies, where the FoAP shined. DoICK, having opposed FoAP in every way since its conception, shined when battles took place on the Earth, and sometimes even under it. Soon, because of FoAP's and DoICK's power and influence, only those two factions were left, warring for a purpose that was forgotten.

Now, in the year 2090, the world of Thrae is in complete and utter turmoil. It's FoAP against DoICK, and there is no fence to sit on. You were on either or the other's allegiance, or else you were shot.

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ASDFeatures (v1)

In the first version, there is a fully playable race: the FoAP, or Federation of Ace Pilots. The DoICK is planned to be playable, but currently my plans are to perfect FoAP to what I wanted them to be and look like.

In Es'ir Prus, with the FoAP race, I have tried to present a "less is more" feeling in terms of tech tree and unit types. There are 11 structures (includes add-ons) and 12 unit types. Which, contrary to my efforts, is not exactly what I had hoped for. BUT ANYWAY. There are 4 ground units and 8 air units, so this is like a fleet mod. Except that the ground-air difference will play a part in your army building considerations. And, what is notable, is that your Central Command is the *only* unit producer. In Main -> Nat -> Expo maps, this can work into strategy easily enough. With a natural, you will naturally (lulz) have two CC's later.

In this, have also tried to create more defined tiers, with tier one being just your Central Command and Travaillers, and tier two being only the Ground Support Centre and its initially trainable units.Whether or not you take a ground or an air approach (either can work in a game), you can win but you still must progress up the tech tree in order for your ground or air units to remain effective. To reinforce this, your first air unit is a tier one, meaning you must have your Ground Support Centre. Not only that, but it is anti-air only, whereas an opponent going for a ground attack force can easily overwhelm you by the time you get yourself to the next tier with the College. Which does not have a *dedicated* air-to-ground unit. You have your Superieur and Heavy Bomber, both of which must be combined to go up against ground, which probably has massed Mobile Rocket Platforms. Which are dedicated AA. As are Guardians.>>You know what, I'll stop there. I'm finding more problems with my mod than I had expected, LULZ.Here's something to watch for: FoAP's Mobile Particle Cannon Battery's *six* different attack sequences, using the Lioness' different firing frames.

Just download, play, and comment + criticize!

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Problems

Balance. Terran AI is broken. Infested and not Kerrigans that die will cause a crash. Not that I plan to fix it or anything, unless I decide I need it. Or something.

I can't remember. Just look in the Read Me file.

Credits will be there too.

Oh, and Lurker Eggs are messed up. You crash when they die. And they won't hatch. Ever.

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JKL;utre Plans (to v2)

DoICK faction. Must be made soon. Probably will appear in v2, unless I decide there must be a v1c first. v1c will be doubtful, but if there is one, it will deal with balance.-FoAP MRP needs some counters. Thus: "Small" sized Rocket Rage, set to 1 armour; make more air units have Normal damage.

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So, why the joke mod?

That is what you think this mod is, don't you? Guess what? [What?] Wow, you guessed "what". You are incredible.