Mayor’s Advice on Bullying: ‘Grow a Pair’

Recently Mayor Cameron Hamilton of Porterville, California stirred a bit of controversy with his suggestion that people pushing anti-bullying measures need to “grow a pair,” and that victims of bullying should simply stand up for themselves or for those who can’t. Naturally, this incensed progressives in the media who believe government intervention is the answer.

His comment came during a City Council meeting earlier this month after Councilwoman Virginia Gurrola asked the Council to support a student-led anti-bullying program. The program would establish off-campus safe zones citywide for teens being bullied after school.

“I mean, I am against bullying,” an exasperated Hamilton said, “but I am getting damn tired of it being used as a mantra for everything that ills the world when all most people have to do is grow a pair and stick up for them damn selves.” Gurrola retorted, “It is hard to stand up and maybe grow a pair when you are maybe a 10-year-old little girl.”

Outrage quickly grew in the mainstream media, which gleefully jumped on Hamilton’s phrase as being sexist and inappropriate advice for children. He appeared on TV numerous times to clarify his remarks (meanwhile, no one in the media accused Gurrola of sexism for suggesting that girls can’t stand up for themselves).

Last week, for example, CNN invited Mayor Hamilton to discuss his comments on CNN Special Report, hosted by Don Lemon, with a panel featuring myself and legal analysts Mark O’Mara and Mel Robbins. I was invited to appear remotely from CNN’s Hollywood studio based on an article I wrote a few months ago entitled “We Are Raising a Generation of Wimps.” That article wasn’t specifically about bullying, but about our increasing zeal as a culture to create ultra-safe environments for our children, a paranoia which doesn’t serve them well as children or as the adults they will become.

Hamilton again tried to explain his position and was rudely dismissed by Robbins, who told him he needed to “grow a few brain cells” and realize that bullying must be solved by adults – specifically, educators rather than parents: “How are we gonna teach kids how to respond to bullying except to have communities inside of schools with a zero tolerance policy and that stick up for kids that are getting bullied?” O’Mara agreed with Robbins and derided Hamilton’s recommendation that kids physically defend themselves as “Neanderthal.”

The mayor noted that zero tolerance policies don’t teach kids to stand up against bullies: “They teach kids to stand down because they’re going to get in the same amount of trouble as the kid that’s causing the problem.”

“If they hit somebody, yes, they should get in trouble,” interrupted Robbins, “’cause that’s not how you deal with this situation. You may have dealt with things like that 20 years ago, but that’s not appropriate in 2014.”

“I think that’s very naïve,” the mayor correctly retorted. Bullies today are not kinder and gentler than those of 20 years ago. They are not more responsive to reason or dialogue or authority. They are the same as they have always been: cowards who respect only a dose of their own medicine. They target the weak and the fearful precisely because that is their predatory nature. Fight back and they disintegrate.

Even the CNN crew grasps this basic truism. After the commercial break, host Lemon noted that “everyone in the studio, about seven people, agreed that the best way to handle bullies was to fight back, to stick up for yourself.” (After the show I chatted with a female crewmember at the CNN Hollywood studio who also agreed.) He told of his own experience being bullied as a child, and said his father taught him to deal with it by commanding Lemon to fight back. That seemed to work for Lemon, as it does for pretty much everyone. Anyone – myself included – who has ever decided to physically stand up to bullies knows that that works and very little else does.

In my contribution to the discussion, I agreed with the mayor and asserted the necessity for kids to be emotionally, psychologically, and physically prepared by adults to deal with bullies themselves, and that preparation includes the use of defensive violence. But Mark O’Mara, like Robbins, rejected this notion. “There are more appropriate ways to handle violence.” Neither he nor Robbins mentioned what any of those appropriate solutions are. Robbins simply insisted, in her closing remarks, that educators must handle bullying, which she was quick to blame on parents: “Kids that bully are taught how to bully, typically at home,” she asserted. So her stance was that parents are part of the problem, therefore the schools must step in and protect our children for us (or is it from us?).

That is the solution of progressives (who have elevated political bullying to an art form): Let the state protect you. Don’t fight back, don’t defend yourself, because all violence is equally bad. Their refusal to acknowledge that self-defense is morally justifiable violence leads to such ludicrous zero tolerance extremes as suspending kids from school for pointing index fingers like gun barrels. The result is that American children are molded into risk-averse, helpless pacifists that, not coincidentally, can be easily controlled by the state. This will do nothing to stop bullying; it will actually exacerbate it.

Councilwoman Gurrola’s plan, for example, to establish off-campus “safe zones” for teens being bullied after school sends the message to bullies that they have won, that instead of the perpetrators being confronted and put in their place, their victims will simply retreat to a safe haven to huddle together in fear. It sends the message that the territory beyond those boundaries belongs to the bullies. It sends the message that we don’t have to grow up because the state is our protective father figure. If you want to see the real-world results of this kind of defeatist thinking, look to Europe, where Islamic bullies expand their sharia zones unchallenged by impotent authorities and largely unarmed citizens.

As the ancient Roman saying goes, if you want peace, prepare for war. If you don’t want the bullies –schoolyard punks, progressive radicals or government despots – to win, teach your children to fight back.

Mark Tapson, a Hollywood-based writer and screenwriter, is a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center. He focuses on the politics of popular culture.

UCSPanther

This Mayor just spoke the truth, and all the wags are trying to crucify him for it.

Bullies only respect strength, and they usually run when their victim fights back…

Nick

The state can’t be everywhere so people will have to defend themselves from time to time.

However, the state or any organization like a school has a pernicious tendency to blame both the bully and the bullied when the bullied fights back. Usually they blame the bullied more.

Toa

One of the biggest reasons for “Liberal” educators blaming the victim is that a goodly portion of the bullies are members of “special” groups protected by political correctness.

Jeff Ludwig

I’ve seen this time and time again in high schools where I taught. They have “peer mediation” and both the bullied and the bully are both treated as the guilty parties. This is part of the liberal program of moral equivalence. Yet, invariably in these school conflicts one of the parties is more to blame than the other, but the high schools I taught in (in NYC) typically do not like to put the blame on either of the two individuals involved.

Americana

That is NOT what the mediation process conveys AT ALL to both the bullied and the bully! If there is anything that’s tenuous in the blame game discussed during the mediation, it’s that the school officials don’t want to trigger even more destructive and vicious bullying from the bully and his/her gang.

I’ve never yet heard of one instance where there is any blame attached to the bullied victim. It’s always been obvious to me that school administrations are trying to find ways for the victim of bullying to control the ways in which bullying can affect their lives. However, w/the advent of social media, bullies have ways to destroy their victims 24/7. Heck, it’s even something that’s acceptable practice for adults in specific situations. Only the mentally healthy can fight through that stuff.

Mack

What I like about your comments here are that you are passionate and straight forward. There is no needling.

I don’t quite agree with all that you wrote in part due my life experience/training. You can look at these personal interaction using quality control. You reason by analogy. I’ll admit right form the start that all analogies fall apart if taken to far. Consider people as products. consider the bullying behaviour as a defect. a defect can have multiple causes. that is where my problem is.

I have a problem with this part of your exposition.
“trying to find ways for the victim of bullying to control the ways in which bullying can affect their lives.”

Is it important to do this? Admittedly, yes. Vitally important. It is triage; it is damage control; it is rehabilitation of the bullied.

But it does not get to the root cause. If you cannot get to the root cause, then this is as good as it gets. but i think it is important to get to the root causes and there might be several (not several for each and every incident, but several that will cover 99% of all cases). One cause might be “Because I can” and the only solution is ti help the bullied and read the bully the riot act and back it up with actions.

Americana

That’s very true, Mack, good points. From the outset, anyone attempting to educate children about coping w/bullying has to admit there will ALWAYS BE LIMITS for their help to the victim. Ultimately, it’s up to the individual victim to blow off bullying either by finding coping mechanisms like avoiding the web sites like FB where bullying is rampant or by finding routes home that prevent the bully from confronting them. Children should be taught to take the PRACTICAL STEPS to deflect bullying first and then see where they’re at. If they decide physical bullying has escalated to the point where there’s going to a physical confrontation, then I believe they should tell the school administration they’ve hit their limit and they’ve decided to pursue a confrontation.

My feeling is that getting to the root cause of a BULLY’S behavioral pattern takes a lot more work and it requires skilled and tough individuals. If someone has discovered that they enjoy the sociology of bullying, it takes a lot for them to change that behavior. So, in most cases, my preference would be to insist that bullies be “sentenced” to being made to play sports under the direction of a coach who’s got major social brains and good life skills. Work those kids as a member of a team. Another approach might be to “sentence” bullies to after-school WORK of various kinds. Whatever is done, what they need is for an adult to reshape their behavior and show them alternatives. The concept might sound namby-pamby but I’ve seen where this works. I think of this kind of intervention as being similar to the prison programs where they break mustangs and sell them to the public as riding horses.

Drakken

What effing part of confront and take on the bully don’t you understand? Weakness perceived is weakness taken advantage of. Kick a bullys azz and the rest will take care of itself, too many of you do gooders and your good intentions.

Americana

How much do you read of my posts before FREAKING OUT and making your pronouncements? What from my previous post doesn’t indicate I’m willing to allow bullied kids to KICK AZZ of bullies?

This is from my previous post >>>>>> If they decide physical bullying has escalated to the point where there’s going to be a PHYSICAL CONFRONTATION, then I believe they should tell the school administration they’ve hit their limit and they’ve decided to PURSUE A CONFRONTATION.

But there’s far more to bullying in this day and age. To that question, I’d ask what don’t you understand about bullying in the internet age? Many of these bullying incidents are occurring mainly in CYBERSPACE and they aren’t necessarily able to be traced back to specific individuals but rather to a group.

What about the bullying being dished out to girls about their sexuality and their looks? What about their pictures being doctored to make them out to be harlots or their sexy pictures being posted on line by ex-BFs? What about friendships that break up over stolen BFs and such? Girls aren’t really known for the physical confrontation, they tend to deal with social stuff from behind the scenes for the most part. Certainly they could become Karate Kids but it’s not feasible for everyone. So there have to be tactics that work for both the physically tough and those who are not.

Drakken

I read your posts twice, and it is nothing but bloody stupidity and drivel of I feel therefore I am. Stick to training dogs, but even that is suspect.
AS for bulling online? Don’t let the kids have a bloody facebook, twitter and other bloody media account until after they graduate. Life is tough, it is even tougher when your stupid.

Americana

Drakken, (or maybe we should rename you ‘DREADNOUGHT’ given your habit of bulling through the intellectual opposition on line by RE-WRITING and deliberately MISCONSTRUING and DENIGRATING what they’ve written), thankfully, the reference material on both sides is all here for everyone to read. Or maybe you’re not bulling your way through and over me, perhaps you’re indulging more in actual bullying, it’s impossible to decide. In the meantime, I’ve “grown a pair” and you’re going to regret you ever woke up the polite British puddytat from in front of the British Museum

Drakken

Sunshine, I work in the bloody 3rd world and have no time or patience to suffer fools and imbeciles. You talk a lot, but you say nothing, that it is it in a nutshell.

Americana

You obviously do suffer fools and imbeciles gladly or you wouldn’t write what you do.

Americana

Ah, I see what likely happened, you just flew past the ‘see more’ words but didn’t click on them to expose the full post.

Drakken

If you have anything to do with educating children, God bloody help us all. Your typical of the education establishment today, you thing that you can mediate every little tiff and expect everything to rainbows and unicorns, nature has a very different way of handling things, no wonder these kids today are spoiled special little darlings.

Americana

You have claimed that I’m not willing to let kids “duke it out” even though I OBVIOUSLY STATED THEY COULD DO SO and, sometimes, HAD TO DO SO.

You’ve been SKEWERED by your own INVENTED UNICORNS, dumb bunny (to keep the animal metaphor going full tilt). **No wonder these adults these days are spoiled, ignorant specious little dorks.**

Jeff Ludwig

My only question is this: if the mediation process is successfully sending an anti-bullying message to bullies, why isn’t there less bullying in the schools? Obviously bullies are not being deterred by school mediation processes. Best wishes. I don’t agree with you but like the writing style of your comment.

Americana

I don’t believe mediation is getting through to all bullies and cliques that bully as a recreational sport. It works for some cases and fails miserably in others. I think bullies are unique and solving a bully’s psychological and social reasons for bullying and SHUTTING THEM DOWN requires the right tool to get the job done. If mediating didn’t seem to be the best choice for a particular bully, I wouldn’t hesitate to get much tougher from Day One. I think it should be possible to have a full array of possibilities to deal w/a really badass head case bully.

Don’t you agree that bullying has taken on some entirely new perspectives since the advent of social media? I think that’s the biggest part of this surge in bullying. The cyber warfare of modern bullying creates a swarm mentality in kids. It allows for a huge number of different kinds of attacks to be made. It’s not like the good old days of shoving someone repeatedly in the hallway.

For instance, for cyber bullying, my first move would be to see if I could get a legal warrant to seize all the laptops of all the kids participating in any bullying scenario. They can find other ways of getting their homework done like working on the computers in their libraries or their school computer labs. I wouldn’t settle for any one set of punishments that the kids know in advance. I’d try to find ways of ramping them up or down to catch the bullies off their guard.

JT

At High School, both times I stood to the bullies I ended up at the Principal’s office. That was in the early 90s.
The bullying stopped, but I was treated by the school as if I had been the bully; hence the reluctance of many bullied kids to stand up. My father (ex Air Force) took my side, in private. I got detention.
Funny thing is, I don’t know how many times I’d see the school bullies get away with (short of) murder.

Americana

None of us can tell what you meant when you wrote “both times I stood up to the bullies, I ended up in the Principal’s office.” It sounds like you’re saying you fought them. But you didn’t include the key information that explains the whole scenario from the school’s perspective because you left out what the Principal did to the bullies who bullied you? That’s the other end of the bullying equation that indicates whether justice was done. As bad as you seem to feel about your detention, I think there are reasons for doing this.

I can tell you think you were victimized again by the process the school followed. But what if your detention was also meant to serve as a cooling off period for YOU as well as a PROTECTIVE SHIELD against the bullies? Would you still resent it? Why would it not be sensible to prevent you accidentally overdoing it and killing the guy? (Not VERY likely but it could happen w/the right physical types fighting tooth and nail.)

American1969

These leftists that are trashing the Mayor are idiots. I suppose they think that one would be able to reason with a mugger, rapist or serial killer rather than trying to defend one’s self or loved ones?
More evidence that leftist thinking is a psychotic mental disorder. You just can’t make this stuff up!

Greg Byrne

I think that the state or the school has a responsibility to reduce the risk of bullying and to ensure that habitual offenders are removed from the school. The problem with encouraging people to fight back is that you raise the risk of permanent injury to one of the parties. Some fights end that way whether in school or at a football match involving adults.

bearmountain

Grow up.

Steve

Greg has a point. He did say “reduce” the risk not “eliminate” it.

If I am a 90 lb boy getting beat on by a 140 lb boy, I would realize that if I fought back that I would not “get lunch” as the the bully “got supper”. So what are the fall back strategies? Tell the teacher, ally yourself with friends, try to reason with bullies, or use a tool. If the first 3 techniques don’t work the 90 lb boy might use a gun or a baseball bat.

A kid used a baseball bat on another kid in my neighborhood. I guess we need baseball bat control legislation because God knows therapists, psychiatrists parents and teachers are not solving the problem.

Go ahead take the bat away, the 90 lb weakling will go Jacob on the bully. He’ll do something like offer the bully tribute, which is the bullies due. With all the drugs that are being legalized the tribute could be weed or something else. but instead of being salted it will be spiked. What are you going to do arrest the 90 lb? you could but you will still have no future at that point. It will just be a microcosmic type of M.A.D.

You have a good day.

lawguy

“…encouraging people to fight back is that you raise the risk of permanent injury to one of the parties.” Indeed–resistence always has risk. But you again look to the state [in the form of the school] to intercede, when the state cannot always be present as a substitue for the victim defending himself/herself. As the author says, you make yourself and your children wimps, willing vicitms hiding in the shadows, afraid to confront evil and thereby to overcome it.

tickletik

Good. Then good people will learn to take their self defense and alliances seriously, and bullies will learn to mind their manners

Gislef

Perhaps. But at least in California, that’s not what the schools as a whole are doing.

Gislef

If you leave the current policy “against” bullying in place, you significantly raise the risk of injury, permanent and temporary, to the bullied party.

fiddler

But what about punishing the innocent. Bloody noses can heal but what about a wounded self-concept. What about allowing unrequited injustice to fester in the mind of those picked on? What about the effects of deferring justice or just ignoring it altogether. Funny, their adult counterparts (e.g. Unions) jump up and down, break things (a la the Occupiers) and this is lauded by the “press”. But just let a kid hit back when assaulted and this is neanderthal and base — almost criminal in their minds. Such inconsistency is appalling and hypocritical.

fiddler

Some kids I believe can develop the attitude that they are not worth defending by the school, or by anybody. Not allowed to respond can eventually lead to something FAR worse. Catch my drift?

Webb Cook

Rx for this . . .

Larry

Recently Mayor Cameron Hamilton of Porterville, California stirred a bit of controversy with his suggestion that people pushing anti-bullying measures need to “grow a pair,” and that victims of bullying should simply stand up for themselves or for those who can’t

When I read the lede, I thought Mayor Cameron Hamilton as stupid because he was reasoning that “victims of bullying should simply stand up for themselves”. Based on physiology there are kids that cannot. They are in a different weight class. If a weight classes does not matter in the school yard then we must be stupid to have them in boxing and wrestling. Just saying.

Still if you can’t win a fight being able to do enough damage or inflict enough pain o the bully might be enough to do the trick. Still there are kids who physically can’t do that much due to no fault of their own.

Mayor Cameron Hamilton also said “stand up … for those who can’t”. That will cover some of the rest of the cases but not all.

Larry

Except for the gun bans which would hurt, this will be interesting.

I have seen too many teachers do nothing when apprised of the situation or witnessing it. It is time to break out the popcorn sit back and enjoy, because society is that freaking stupid.

Let’s take it for granted that Eliot Rodger did something to provoke someone to beat him down the first time or the second time. I guarantee that Eliot stopped, but was still being beat down several months after he stopped doing what ever. Also the teachers knew about it and did not report every incident to the parents.

So this will be interesting.You can ban the guns.You can ban knives, You can ban cars, but the carnage will continue.

There are not hundreds of Eliot Rodger. There are not thousands of Eliot Rodger. Think in terms of 10 per thousand or 2 per hundred. The degree of insult and injury vary. So sit back and enjoy!

minaka2

What a weird exhortation to others to “break out the popcorn” and “sit back and enjoy” the carnage you predict. Societal breakdown is not a movie one can watch uninvolved. Sooner or later the violence touches us all. Your “I told you so” enjoyment seems to outweigh any humanity. That’s another symptom of moral illness.

Larry

Your view point depends on how well society has treated you.

Long term subjugation is more problematic than short term subjugation.

I expect the the alpha male to be the prom king and to have the alpha female as the prom queen (by mutual consent of course). What I don’t countenance is the prom king or some one high up in the pecking order making someone’s life miserable that they can’t think straight.

HenDanK

There are ways to stand up to a bully without being physically bigger or stronger. The main thing is, let them know you will not be bullied.

In the broader picture, the West is being bullied by Muslims. Look at the case of the Sudanese Christian woman named Meriam who just gave birth in jail because the Muslim thugs in her country are threatening to kill her. She’s not backing down. She will not renounce her Christian faith. That we all could have that resolve! Pray for her.

Webb Cook

Rx

HenDanK

Common sense coming out of California? We can’t have that, can we?
The “I’m gonna go tell my mommy on you” approach of the statists doesn’t work. The mayor is right.

DaCoachK

I’m with you. Anyone expecting common sense policy in California will be disappointed. I can’t believe that state of pansies and queers elected Ronald Reagan as governor twice.

The March Hare

While still liberal, the state was very different then. Don’t forget, they elected Arnold and he wasn’t the extreme liberal you would have expected them to elect.

Atikva

“It is hard to stand up and maybe grow a pair when you are maybe a 10-year-old little girl.”

What did Ms. Gurrola mean, that little girls are less courageous than boys? tssk, tssk, discrimination, Ms. Gurrola!

The mayor is right, of course. We are sending our children into the world unarmed and unprepared. No solid, permanent family with traditional values, no religion, no sense of who they are, no education, no character building, nothing. Nobody ever told them that living is no picnic, that they have to fend for themselves and that whining is no solution.

antisharia

It’s easier said than done. How does one stand up fore oneself when you’re not facing one bully but several?(bullies never run alone) And given now that bullies can hunt their victims online it makes things even more difficult. The states too involved but telling a scrawny 12 year old who’s being hunted by a vicious pack of bigger stronger kids to “grow a pair” and stand up for themselves is hardly realistic?

cacslewisfan

I agree with the basic idea that kids should stand up for themselves, but you make an excellent point. Adults are the caretakers of children and they have to stand in the gap while kids get their footing. Instead of bully free safety zones, they should isolate the bullies. Liberals always have it upside down and backwards.

minaka2

Agree. Isolate the bullies. They and possibly their home life are the problem. The entire school should be a bully-free zone.

Drakken

You cannot protect from real life, let them learn the hard way, and learn how to deal with the bully.

joannie712@msn.com

I found that if you take on the biggest one the others will leave you alone even if you lose the fight. It shows that your willing to fight for yourself and they don’t really want the confontation then selves. They follow these bullies because they think their bad and if you show them that their really not they will not hang with them. Look I use have this same problem but found that standing up for ones self is the best way to stop it. I was raised to stand up for myself even if it ment getting my butt kicked sometime. They didn’t mess with me because they knew that even if I lost the fight I was going to hurt the one I was standing up to. Kids today are coddled to much and don’t know what it means to standup for them selves. This is something that their parents need to teach them. Let them get their butts kicked once it will teach them to stop backing down and to stand tall against these bullies. Life isn’t a piece of cake let alone fare. Hard lesson to learn but a damn go one. Parents need to let their children fall sometimes so that the know what not to do.

fiddler

Yes I think that punishing the victim is CRIMINAL. It confuses the he|| out of the kid and screws up their psyche. They think: “and I’m being punished WHY?”. What is wrong with not taking it?? What is wrong with confronting OBVIOUS injustice to my person? I would have that kid out of that school so fast!

Drakken

Bullsh** ! Tell that scrawny kid to find the leader and beat the tar out of them and the rest will leave you alone.

Mick

My father did the opposite. He would find the weakest member of the pack after getting beat down and then proceed to corner that person and beat them down. That weakest member of the pack learned that if he participated in a beat down he was going to get beat down in turn. They started finding excuses to not participate.

Then my father worked his way up the pecking order. Eventually the bully/ring leader found no one to support him. Now the bully might win 7 out of 10 fights or 10 out 10 fights but he still had risk. He decided not to play any more.

fiddler

Then how about hanging with a few other guys? Please stop the hand-wringing and realize that there is strength in numbers. Guess what gives the “bigger stronger kids” their impetus to attack — how about the power of the group? So don’t walk alone. Bring a few others along. Bullies aren’t used to getting their noses bloodied. They do it in front of the gang to show their superiority. The “Scott Farkas affair” in A Christmas Story isn’t too far from reality. As a kid I was bullied outside of the school when some kid kicked over some stuff I laid on the ground. One good bop on the nose took the fight out of him. Simplistic? If it were supported in schools or at least considered, perhaps there wouldn’t be so much hand wringing. You can’t save the world by yourself and neither can the bleeding heart, gutless Left.

cacslewisfan

What the heck is a bully free safe zone anyway? Isn’t the whole school supposed to be bully free? Is there a harsher punishment for bullying in a bully free zone? Can a bully threaten someone through the window of a safe zone? What happens when they leave the safe zone?

minaka2

The bully and the home that bred him is the problem. Return the problem to its source. Suspend the bully and suggest homeschooling to the parents unless they can teach their child the manners required to interact with others at school. Child welfare authorities should be sent to check that there is not child abuse going on in the bully’s home as this is a common background for bullies.

Americana

This is a good idea to keep the bullying from spreading to a larger group of kids who are followers of the lead bully and execute his/her bullying on a larger social scale. That is an even greater problem than the individual bully. However, the bullying that is available through social media platforms like FB and Twitter would still be something that’s available to these characters even if they were thrown out of school. I’d love it if the kids got together for a cyber self-defense force and they effed w/the minds and reputation of the bullies. Now that would be interesting to watch!

Regardless, it’s an interesting concept, minka, and I would love to see it tried out in a few cases where the bully hasn’t yet developed a cast of thousands who are following the chief bully’s example.

Mark

You are slipping. You were not your usual sarcastic acerbic or should I say bullying self.

Americana

Ah, I find it terribly interesting that YOUR rudeness is allowed to stand while my response is not allowed to be aired. Isn’t that just peachy keen?#$!!!

Americana

Mark, since I’m never sarcastic or acerbic or bullying until I’ve been subjected to ALL THOSE THINGS in MASSIVE QUANTITIES, your point about me is rather moot. The fact is anyone can look through my posts and everyone else’s posts and arrive at the correct conclusion about who did what and WHO THE REAL BULLIES ARE is THE REALITY.

Ed

Not sure I agree with your assessment. Bullying could be self taught, learned from peers or learned from family. What are the percentages for each? Regardless, if a kid is a bully, the home should be checked out even if it starts at home 5% of the time or less than 5% of the time.

If the family is not the cause, they need to be apprised of the situation and maybe be given support in the way of techniques that will help correct the situation.

minaka2

Why are feminists allowed the usual leftist double standard? If the mayor had said that girls and women could not look out for themselves, and had to be helped by men, then there would have been an angry buzzing from the hive, that females are just as capable blah blah blah…in the military blah blah blah. he said all victims of bullying should stand up for themselves…and he gets it in the neck as not being sensitive to little girls and women’s problems. Well, which is it? Do women want to be treated the same as men or not? No more cherry-picking whatever benefits females in all situations.

Ginger Li

But that’s exactly what it is: situational ethics and social media morality. The leftist response to any reasoned, rational argument is an anecdotal, worst case example (eg. little girls). Instead, the high dudgeon social arbitors of the left and its media jackals require that all such social and behavioral questions be submitted to their realm of authority. That how the individual loses freedom and control of his own life and destiny.

Donald J DaCosta

Like so much else from the progressive playbook, their arguments are based on what feels good, feels righteous, from a strictly emotional perspective. Neanderthals that men are, we really enjoy seeing a kid get a black eye, bloody nose or split lip……….right?

Barring the involvement of a psychotic, inherently violent child, a rare occurrence that is far to often tolerated or ignored by these peace loving progressives, standing up and fighting back is the most effective deterrent to bullying. Violence can only be prevented and eventually eradicated by a major alteration of human nature, the latter that which progressives believe is entirely possible under their tutelage. They are hedonistic, hopeless intellectuals overwhelmed by their own sense of infallibility and they are currently and disturbingly a dominant force around the civilized world. In America a product of our institutions of higher learning? Pure speculation but their continued efforts toward eradicating violence and future wars by turning the other cheek and making nice to our not so inclined adversaries will be western civilizations downfall.

Americana

Electronic bullying via FB and other social media aren’t direct, physical confrontations — they’re electronic smack downs, and, in many cases, there is enough ANONYMITY those committing it remain unknown. A teen might not know who is attacking them via social media until one of his/her attackers makes a mistake and reveals himself by details only a particular person would know. “Standing up and fighting back on social media doesn’t achieve a resolution of the bullying and oftentimes seems to” produce even more outrageous postings. There have even been instances where parents have become involved in bullying on their child’s behalf. Thankfully, a couple of these types have been successfully PROSECUTED.

glpage

The left’s refusal to accept self defense can justify some violence is also behind their push to confiscate guns. When you consider how the left wants people to react violence you can almost believe that they support the violent. They claim to reject violence, but they really have no plans to effectively combat it, ignore it and it will go away.

“Find a spine”, is the best advise for the bullied. First appeal to authorities and then stand up for yourself. Every man has to fight his own battles sooner or later. Fairness does not determine the engagement or outcomes. Live with it!

fiddler

““There are more appropriate ways to handle violence.” Neither he nor Robbins mentioned what any of those appropriate solutions are. Robbins simply insisted, in her closing remarks, that educators must handle bullying, which she was quick to blame on parents: “Kids that bully are taught how to bully, typically at home,” she asserted.”

This is the lofty opinion similar to those in the do-nothing administration who congratulate themselves on achieving peace “in our time” in self-denial. When someone disagrees, call them a Neanderthal, or tell them they need to grow brain cells — typical ad hominem for the left. Saul Alinsky all the way: resort to ridicule. Perhaps it’s time for a little counter ridicule. Just say something like, “I think your inane view is typical of a social busy-body”. You’re great with the stuck-up group-think, but you are a fool. You’re the kind who would blame the victim as much as the perpetrator. You could care less about the victim’s sense of self, that they deserve to defend their own honor. There are few things more satisfying that bloodying the nose of a bully.

Nabukuduriuzhur

Lars Larson said it very well last year when he said that bullying didn’t get out of control until the states decided that you couldn’t fight back.

SoCalMike

As an early recipient (not a victim) of childhood bullying, I can go long, very long and then some on this subject but the mayor is essentially correct.
Teachers and admin don’t want to be bothered.
They aren’t there to prevent or stand up to bullies or to prevent them from smashing your child’s face in.
Many of them aren’t even there to teach but to pick up a check much less impose discipline or promote moral restraint.

The sad truth is the teachers and admin have insulated themselves from this problem with the very laws and regs everyone so breathlessly hold out hope for.

Teach your child to fight effectively while instilling the moral values to NOT bully with the learning you have provided.
The wags trying to crucify the mayor should be forced to suffer bullying from the perps whose bullying they have helped perpetuate.

Hyacinth Alagos

Being bullied can have traumatic consequences for a child, leading to poor school performance, low self-esteem, anxiety, and even depression. Then he who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.Always remember when you are down to nothing, God is up to something. Stop Bullying. No one deserves to feel worthless. Participate check this out at http://bit.ly/1nctEuL.

Jhonnie Walker

“No one can predict when or when an emergency could happen, and to some extent, emergencies could be in a situation between life and death. Actually, I’ve found a safety application on a phone which your can use it whenever or wherever you or your child is, it comes also a great features like a safety profile, that you can upload your recent image and your safety information and the best thing are, in just a click of a panic button it could create a conference call to a 24/7 call center, a safety network and could escalate a call to a nearest 911 if it’s a real emergency, it is best for parents who are unable to manage their time, check this site out for more information: http://safekidzone.com/?a_aid=52f12fafd5de8

GSR

The mayor is exactly right. Grow up. Toughen up. End of discussion.

Calvin Sanders

I am a father of two lovely daughters. Both go to high school. It worries me that they might encounter this activity since I don’t have the capability to be with them all the time. Me and my wife both go to work almost everyday. That is why I have this application downloaded on our phones. In case of an emergency, my children will just press the panic button. Then they will be connected to a response center that answers and gives help to you 24/7. This can be escalated to your nearest 911 station. Me, along with my wife and close friends as my children’s safety network, will be notified also through text message or a conference call . This app certainly helps me since I am slightly busy with my work. Me and my wife worry lesser now. This can lessen yours too. Just visit their site to know more about this: http://safekidzone.com/#!/page_home

Paul Vonharnish

Stupid people and bullies just aren’t flammable enough… Learn to fight fire with napalm…

Miles New

Bullying is a serious matter and calls for serious action on the part of parents as children can’t handle it individually. That is why as a parent must follow your words with action by teaching your child to be assertive in expressing their feelings, they should know how to identify bullying and how to handle these behaviors. I discovered a safety solution coming from SafeKidZone and I find it interesting. It has an application called panic button and by just simply pressing the button the alert will go directly to a group of safety network and can access to the nearest 911 in the area. You can check out their site: http://safekidzone.com/?a_aid=514ae252c9f64

Drakken

Teach your kid to stand up for himself and defend himself and you won half the battle. All this other do gooder stupidity, let the leftatrds play at this nonsense.

Miles New

We all know that bullying is a serious problem, and it’s hard to deal with that situation. We do the best we can as parent but aren’t responsible for others actions. Your doing everything you can for your kids, and that’s all we can do. I would like to share this link, about a service on how to protect your children. You can visit this link it’s interesting: http://safekidzone.com/?a_aid=514ae252c9f64

Hyacinth Alagos

Anti bullying quotes Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.School, had traditionally been viewed as a haven from the disorders of everyday life.Bullying is one of the most insidious of school problems,however much miseries are cause to the victims, if they are often unwilling to tell an adult about it for fear of being branded a sneak.Bullying is cruel not cool bring protection with you at http://bit.ly/1nctEuL.

Calvin Sanders

As a parent, I find it very hard to secure the safety of my children. I am a father of two lovely daughters. Both go to high school. I can’t be with them every single time. Me and my wife go to work everyday. It’s hard to be certain about their whereabouts and situation. Good thing I discovered this amazing application installed on my children’s phones. It has a panic button that my children will press in case of an emergency. As simple as that it will automatically be connected to a 24/7 Response center and if needed, your call can be escalated to the nearest 911 Station. Me, along with my wife and close friends as my children’s safety network, will be notified also through text message or a conference call. I worry less. This can help you too. Just visit their site to know more about this:http://safekidzone.com/#!/page_home

One Man

So the bullies drive their prey into a limited area and the bullies are free to roam at large otherwise? Insane. And what does the prey do if the safe zone is 4 blocks away and th bully is in their face? Busting the bully’s chops is a damn good idea.

vandaldog

There are things in life that are worth fighting for. There are things in life worth dying (or killing) for. Not only is it not always wrong to fight, sometimes it’s wrong not to fight. We have become a nation of wimps and crybabies. We’re as much the “home of the brave” as we are the “land of the free” which is to say, NOT SO MUCH!

Irie Keith Garcia

Stop Bullying and be a friend not Bully.. Just wanna share, especially to all the parents out there to have their children subscribe to Safekidzone..This is a safety service that has a panic button that the subscriber will press in times of emergency!!, and it identifies the accurate incident location through GPS coordinates that will be sent to their system.. So that it will be easy for the 911 respondents to respond in the incident in the lesser time.. For further knowledge about this wonderful life saver app.. Here’s a link: http://safekidzone.com/?a_aid=5328991a0b72c