Claim to Fame

Steve once rose to minor fame portraying the hero of a children's television show, Captain Sunshine. The show, which started in 1999, was about a superhero who battled vampires, monsters, demons and aliens. Children loved it for its bright colors and mild violence, and certain moms loved it for the saccharine morals forced into the stories…or possibly the yellow-and-white spandex suit.

Some news shows picked up the fervor that began to surround Steve's show in 2003 as Vampire Rights groups stepped up to protest the 'climate of hate' that The Adventures of Captain Sunshine was said to foster against vampires, and demanded the show be shut down. Although it was continued for another season, controversy continued to swirl.

In 2004, Steve attained the zenith of his fame in a rather unfortunate manner, when he became a viral video star. While performing in a live stunt show at a theme park in Florida, Steve's flying apparatus failed, dropping him into scenery from a considerable height. Steve, still equipped with a microphone, was heard to exclaim a string of obscenities that effectively ended his career as a children's performer, along with the permanent limp the injury left him with.

Some internet nerds are certain that Captain Sunshine merchandise will soon be valuable collectors' items, as most family stores boycotted all Captain Sunshine goods following the incident. Toys, terrible video games, action figures, DVDs, backpacks, bedsheets and so forth can still be found on eBay and similar sites. His image has also been used on ironic and humor goods that memorialize his fall from grace, including t-shirts printed with a cartoon Captain Sunshine standing in a heroic pose and shouting the phrase that ended his career: "MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!" It is popular amongst hipsters and teenagers.

Biography

A search of the internet will reveal the following information about Steve Hawk:

He is originally from Waco, TX.

He was a high school athlete, competing in swimming, track and field, and football.

He got his start in Hollywood as a model at the age of 18. From 19 to 30, he did quite a bit of modeling and was especially sought after as an underwear model. (One can pull up plenty of embarrassing pictures with an image search.)

He is rumored to have had romantic relationships with a number of television and movie producers, casting directors, and other powerful types.

He has appeared in small speaking and non-speaking roles in a number of popular (and unpopular) television shows, especially in the 1990s.

He had supporting roles in three highly forgettable films, including a superhero movie, an action flick, and a sci-fi shooter.

He did the voiceover for his multi-platform video game, 'Captain Sunshine: The Game,' which is universally hated by all video game critics.