Everything is still very new to me [at time of writing]. I even find myself thinking I’m still pregnant at times. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I lost my baby boy 4 days ago, and it’s been a roller coaster since.

I found out he had anencephaly, a neural tube defect, causing him not to form a skull. I found this out when I was 5 months pregnant, shortly after my second ultrasound. I then had to come to accept the fact that I needed to end my pregnancy. There is a 0% chance of survival for babies with anencephaly.[Read more…]

It was a Saturday night, and everything was going as usual. My 3-year-old James, my 5-month-old Carter and I had spent the day playing together and sitting around outside. Both my kids went to bed at 8pm, so when 8 rolled around I put James to bed, and Carter did not seem tired, so I brought him in my room, and we watched some TV together.

I was 22 and in a relationship that I thought was built on “love”. I was at work when the smell of cinnamon made me feel nauseous. My co-worker chuckled and said, “Uh, oh,” and we laughed. I honestly didn’t think I was pregnant. When I discovered I was pregnant, I was scared but absolutely thrilled. I shared the news with my boyfriend and he informed me he was not ready for a child. He basically gave me an ultimatum, which I wanted no part of. Basically, I chose baby and gave my boyfriend the boot. I was scared, but I had great parents and friends and knew they would be there for me. The pregnancy went by rather quickly and my daughter Lauren Ashley was born on 4/7/2000. [Read more…]