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Monday, October 17, 2016

5 Ways Parents Kill Kindness

I think it's time to resurrect kindness. The place where I can make a big impact is in my home.

Here are 5 Kindness Killers and ways to bring kindness home.

1. Pessimism: "You can't do that."

A total joy squelcher. Instead let your kiddo dream a little. Perhaps allow him the opportunity to take a reasonable risk (not a risky risk).

2. Comparison:"If you acted like your brother..." We have heard it said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." I would add it is the catalyst for envy between siblings resulting in rivalry. Don't compare, rejoice in the differences and strengths of each child.

3. Hyperbole: "You never pick up your toys. You always forget." Instead know your child's weaknesses and work with him. After all we are parents. Parents train kids. So train. "Before we go to the park, pick up your toys."

4. Demanding: "You made your bed but you forgot to clean the bathroom."Start with gratefulness, "I see you made your bed. Let's look at the list of jobs left to do...Oh I see straightening the bathroom is on here. Let's take a minute to do that."

5. Name caller:"You are an idiot." "You are lazy." Name the good things and train the areas that need improvement. "You are really good at Spelling. Math is a bit harder for you. It's hard for me too. How can I help?"

We can tweak our words and messages so they are received well and training results. We can help our kids learn without damaging our relationship with them.

Surrender the mean and instead bring kindness home.

Lay down the weapons of pessimism, comparison, exaggeration, demands, and name-calling. We all want family relationships that last a lifetime so let's kill 'em with kindness rather than kill kindness.

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Thank you for stopping by Eternal Moments... Helping families to build connections that last a lifetime. Join me as we discuss core matters-- the concerns of our hearts and souls as they relate to family-life and spiritual growth. Find more great parent resources over at 1Corinthians13Parenting.com by clicking on the 1C13P tab and if you would like some parent coaching or a speaker for your next women's, mom's, or parent event click on the tab labeled Lori's Website. Thanks again for hanging out with me at Eternal Moments. With faith, hope, and love, Lori