On 11 September, policy people, parliamentarians and the press came together to debate how social media could inform policy making. Somewhat hopefully, the title of the Hansard Society and WeGov-hosted debate was 'More Light Than Heat?'

Discussion about social media and government has matured in recent months. It now ranges well beyond naive digital boosterism, having boundless platform possibilities. Real experiences are feeding back what works – and what doesn't – into the plans for encouraging more people to participate. It's a rapidly changing space to work in.

This space goes by a number of names: consultation, open policy making, agile policy, digital engagement, even new product development. Whatever you call it, it lies in the middle of the Venn diagram of policy, tech and comms domains.

I was fortunate to be invited to join the panel, which also comprised Kevin Brennan, social media MP of the year 2010, Nick Pickles of Big Brother Watch, Britain Thinks pollster Deborah Mattinson and the BBC's Rory Cellan-Jones,doyen of the tech journalists.

One of the joyous characteristics of social media is that through connecting we can share – and I thoroughly enjoyed the perspectives that each panellist brought into focus. Cellan-Jones's decade-plus experience of covering tech news led him to provide examples of sectors that are further through the engagement adoption curve than policy making. He did note that it was a "cycle of love and cynicism", and that on that basis the "political class is diving into cynicism".

Mattinson and Pickles tackled some of the myths and risks. Mattinson challenged some of the preconceptions about the nature of social network users. Her clear point was that it is now mainstream. She also counselled that social media wasn't the single panacea for engagement, and that it should be used in conjunction with other deliberative and structured methods.

Pickles's concerns focused on the perceived "creepiness" of combining social media data with other data sets. If applied in the pursuit of public sector insights, this could impinge on privacy, he pointed out. Conversation was far preferable to surveillance, he added.

I highlighted the ways in which Whitehall is already using social media for both communications and consultations. The prime minister's Twitter account has 2 million followers and generates instant retweeting and debate. And, have a look at how the Red Tape Challenge, our long-running engagement exercise, has worked.

We need to structure the engagement in a way that encourages participation, and with increasingly crowded timelines, it strikes me that we need to focus more than ever on earning the right to take part in the conversation.

Achieving cut-through is, of course, critical. But once we're engaged, we should also design the interaction to cut down noise and find the important signals that are needed to inform policy.

Whether by drawing attention to opportunities to have a say, or using social functionality to encourage effective contribution, the new consultation principles explicitly encourage use of social platforms. This summer's civil service reform plan aims to improve capability in this area. Do get involved in the Cabinet Office and the Democracy Society's discussion on it all.

When I was talking about this project, I made the mistake of referring to one of the outputs it hopes to deliver as "a usable matrix of engagement tools". Ugly, eh? So, it was no surprise that Brennan raised an eyebrow and called me on the jargon.

This was a timely reminder to never forget the basic tenets of good communication: understand the audience, listen like mad, and keep the conversation clear and simple. Social media should be no different.

Nick Jones is the deputy director of communications in the prime minister's 0ffice and Cabinet Office