Come on sniperspy their are no losers here! There may be dragons, elves, faries, wolves and occasoinal pengiun but no losers! And I would have been sad if I were here ot realize that you had retired be for you came out of retirment!

Wonder what kind of reproductive organs them beholders have anyway... The eleventh eye? "Eye of Offspring"... Perhaps the tongue serves a special purpose? Perhaps it bites into a host, alien-wise, and then thrusts its tongue into the flesh of the host, to lay eggs that will hatch. Then one day fledgling beholders are gonna... burst out of the blood vessels?

If they have more regular ways... Well, I kind of imagine two balloons trying to get it on...

As a demon/angel anomily(sp?) mutt, I would have to say the Luv-Shack of Lewd Beholder would have to be underground, as beholders tend to live there from my personal experience. Terrible menaces, with the spells and the teeth and the constant hovering. They taste quite good when roasted with a fireball though.

Logged

"Try to kill me, I'll be laughing," Celak

"You want to know who I am? Or WHAT I am? There is a huge difference," Kui

"Assassinate the assassin, then shoot the plane down!" Saul

"I once ate a skinned cat. It's owner didn't like me much after that," Dave

What most people do not know is that the internal composition of a Beholder is nearly 45% reproductive organs. Much like starfish or sea urchins, each beholder produces literally millions of offspring during their lifespan, the great majority of which do not reach even a year in age before falling prey to native micropredators and their most pressing foe, other beholders.

I’m not sure that your hypothesis is universally accurate, as beholders vary wildly in appearance and anatomy. I suspect that while many beholders haphazardly release millions of nearly helpless spawn, gleefully devouring any of the revolting little parasites that remain near their lairs, beholders reaching the end of their lifespan carefully select and groom their “heirs”. These creatures kill all but a handful of their spawn, and then select one from the surviving remnant to survive. Invariably choosing the beholderling that looks most like them, they shape their descendant to be their exact double. Upon the death of the elder orb, the spawn generally devours its ancestor. A few keep the dead beholder around as a memento, hollowing it out like a gruesome piñata.

While it may be true that beholders have more in common with starfish and other invertebrates than is commonly supposed, that sidesteps the burning question of what sort of “Luv Shack” a beholder would prefer. I have this image of walls covered with shag carpet (padding, in case the reproductive activities of the orbs grow too frenzied) with multicolored disco balls providing suggestive illumination. Enslaved minstrels playing Barry Manilow’s greatest hits (Mandy, anyone?) complete the terrifying picture…