Thursday, June 03, 2010

Why does it amaze me?

It is now almost 1am and I am laying here in my bed with silent tears rolling down my face...because yet again I put my faith and I began to trust someone and they ended up being full of shit.

You know just when I think or start to look at ppl with an open heart I get an enormous amount of reminders that my original thought ppl and relationships is all the same...its worth crap and men talk soooooo much shit & they never mean what they say.

I plans with LB to go to club thing with my fam no big deal 2 drinks then we are gone and a night of sex...I was even working on a way to sleep over. I asked a week in advance and now what 2 days before he cancels and you know what my gut called it. I knew it deep down inside it wasn't gong to happen...I knew just like WBF, my bf and countless others that they would let me down when I need them.

Maybe there is no such thing as a reliable person...someone you can count on no matter what...someone who will pick up when you fall...maybe it is all just in the love songs, in the movies, in the novels because it can't live in the real world...

I love with all of me & I don't have to be in love with you to love but if I love you. You can ALWAYS count on me no matter what (even ex bf if God forbid something happened and she called I would be there....that's just me)

But I never get it in return and then I turn mean and cold ppl wonder why...

But here is my question say all the right things?
Why try and be right?
Why play with a person?

And as I lay here in the dark...clicking away on my blackberry at now 1am I lay here and see prime example #1 WBH he would never notice anything with & if he does he says "he doesn't care enough to pay attention". usually meaning me.

I'm still going to fam thing with a date because FUCK THEM...FUCK THEM ALL WHO CAN'T KEEP A PROMISE
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