Monday, 21 July 2014

Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 59

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I’m the happiest lady in the world right now. No, Dimeji didn’t propose. I’m not even sure we are on that level yet.

I went to get something from Tonya in her ministry, and noticed she was unusually downcast. It was very strange to me, cos Tonya is most times, upbeat. I tried to ask her what was wrong, but she shunned me. I picked my banana clip from her, and left.

Two hours later, she barged into my office, and one look at her told me that all was not well. Her eyes were red and puffy. I had not seen her that way before. Heck, I had not seen any mixed-race person that way before. Weren’t they supposed to look all perfect and beautiful all the time? It was a strange sight indeed.

Without her having to tell me anything, I immediately stood up, as Madam Adams gave us, especially Tonya, a strange look. We stepped out, and I had to try to keep myself from spitting a million and one questions that were on my tongue.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She didn’t say anything at first, and this irritated me. She obviously had a lot to say, so why was she stalling?

“Tonya, what’s wrong?” I asked, more firmly.

She sighed, and then answered. “It is Felix.”

Gosh, that jerk boyfriendof hers, I hissed in my mind. “Wasup with Felix?”

“We broke up.”

Outwardly, I acted concerned, and said “Are you serious?” while I was inwardly singing hallelujah chorus and doing the shoki dance.

“Yes.” A drop of tear threatened to fall down her cheeks, as she did her best to hold it in.

“Are you serious?” I asked again. This was another shock. It was raining miracles this day. To be honest, I never thought Tonya had what it took in her to break up with Felix the jerk, even though it was glaring that their relationship was a disaster.

“Yes.” She answered quite impatiently.

“Why?” I was now getting too scared to ask.

“He’s a jerk!”

Hey, tell me something new I don’t know.

She continued. “Do you know that yesterday, he called my hair ugly, and said I should do something to it, because he couldn’t run his hands through the tangles.

Seriously? Anyone who tells a mixed-race lady with type 3a-3b hair that her hair is ugly should be hanged. “Wow, so you broke up with him because of that?” I found it hard to believe.

“Not just that. He does it all the time, degrades me, my hair, and makes me feel small. When I get upset, he uses reverse psychology against me, saying it is my fault that I am not taking enough care of myself. One day, he even said when he saw my hair, he felt he would be able to enjoy playing with it well because I had a white woman’s hair.”

I was shocked at her revelation. I knew that Felix just wanted a trophy girlfriend.

“I thought about it all night, and just felt I couldn’t go along anymore. He has really never made me happy anyway. We just keep on fighting and arguing, and I never feel appreciated. It is just that I really like him.”

“Don’t worry, you will get someone better.” I silenced her trail of thought, lest she started thinking of changing her mind. “There are many good guys out there who would die to have a girl like you.” I started silently praising God for Dimeji.

I looked at her, her milky skin, lovely 3a natural hair that Nigerian ladies would kill for, and wondered why beauties like Tonya got attracted to people who don’t deserve them.

I was still thinking of more words to console her when her phone rang. She looked at her caller ID, and said…

“It’s him.”

I gave her a look that said “Lady if you pick that call…”

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Ei i'm waiting for part 2..today's events have me on edge. A woman should never have to put herself through that emotional abuse over a man. What a guy that Felix is...Tonya did the right thing. Hi five gurrrl.

I had a guy once compare my kinks to his ex girlfriend's. Hated it and asked y its like that. I foolishly answered..its my true African hair...this is the point he compares. Oh my ex is south African', he says and I'm thinking ooook and he proceeds to show me a pic of a white South African. That was the end of a budding relationship with a hot sexy Greek doctor!! I know that our hair shouldn't dictate our lives but I am proudly my hair, no compromise at all.