Truth-telling. Now that’s a big ol’ can of worms.

In theory, we should tell the truth. Simple as that. But life isn’t so black and white.

Sometimes we lie because we think it will soften it…spare someone’s feelings.

Question: do you ever feel “spared” when you find out you’ve been lied to? Ever?

Sometimes we lie because we can’t face telling the truth.

Question: where are your big-girl panties? Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you have to do the hard shit, because that’s what being a good person is about. The right thing and the easy thing are not necessarily the same thing. Would you rather be a good person or a pussy (read: taking the “easy” choice)?

Sometimes we lie because we’re lazy. Sometimes it takes too much energy to tell the truth. Telling the truth can be hard work.

Question: do you feel betrayed when people don’t tell you the truth because you’re not worth putting in the effort, the time…the work?

Sometimes we don’t tell the truth because we make choices we are afraid to explain.

Question: would you rather have someone explain something to you clearly, even if you don’t like it, or would you rather be baffled and left in a whirl-pool of self-doubt and confusion?

Sometimes we don’t tell the truth because we are afraid to stand in our own power.

Question: would you rather never claim your power, and let people constantly steal it from you because you won’t stand up for it? Or would you rather step into your own shoes and stop letting things or people push you around, just by standing in your own truth?

Sometimes we don’t tell the truth to protect the people we love.

Question: if they really love you, should they be putting you in a position where you need to lie for them? Do you do the same to them? It’s a pretty vicious cycle…and the truth is much, much simpler.

Sometimes we lie to ourselves, because the reality we are faced with is too painful to face.

Question: if there’s a dead rat in your dining room, and you can smell it, but not see it, does that make it any less present? If you can’t see it, how can you dispose of it so that your room will finally stop smelling like dead rodent? It’s only once you find the dead rat, see it right in front of you, that you can actually deal with it so that your room smells like home again. Would you rather lie to yourself and just keep smelling the dead rat, or would you rather face your truth so you can actually do something about getting rid of the dead rat?

Step into your own truth. Start by being sincere, and finding the love in everything you do. When you operate from a place of love and gratitude, it’s much harder to lie…even the little white lies get tough.

Nobody’s perfect. But we can be genuine. And we can treat each and every person we come in contact with (yes, even the most challenging ones) with the love and with which respect we would like to be treated. That’s a pretty #TeamGenuine attitude.

And we can start by examining our relationship with truth-telling. What are we modeling for the children in our lives? Is it behaviour you’d be happy to have emulated?

There’s always time to shift…and usually room for improvement. ❤

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Now tell me in the comments what kind of role truth (or the absence of it) plays in your life. How much importance do you put on truth? From yourself? From the people you surround yourself with?

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3 Comments

Rach
on April 30, 2014 at 9:11 am

“Sometimes we don’t tell the truth because we are afraid to stand in our own power.”

I think that applies to me a lot-or at least when I’m not telling the truth. I fear retaliation if people don’t like what I’ve said. People who I perceive to have the ability to really mess with my life. I don’t want to completely give in to them, though, so I try to bend. I bend my approach, I bend my actions, I bend my words, and I bend the truth. Sometimes the truth is, I think people are wrong. Just completely fucking wrong. Sometimes, I want to scream, “I’ve got this-get out of my way!” Instead, I say, “Okay, you might be right.” “I’m sorry.” or on daring days, “I was thinking maybe_________, but I don’t know. Maybe you’re right, but can we try “.

Maybe that’s not what you meant by that, but even if you didn’t, I do think that what I described is something that prevents me from being totally genuine sometimes. I am usually a pretty honest person, but when I’m not, that’s usually at the root.

I think that absolutely hits the mark. There are all sorts of reasons why, and ways in which, we do not tell the truth. And until we examine them a little more closely, we can’t hope to begin to shift things. Good for you for recognizing your patterns. What you described is something I’ve done a lot of in my life too. Now I’m trying to stand a little more firmly in my own shoes…mostly because I’ve had enough experiences that have shown me that keeping silent or not telling my truth doesn’t help me in any way. So I might as well speak up and deal with the consequences of what I do believe in, rather than stay silent and deal with the consequences of what I don’t. ❤️