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I have one. This is going to be a lame start, but I figured that my post will start it and it'll go from there.

My last girlfriend lived in Michigan and I met her through an online game (that I won't mention). She seemed cool, and she was. We talked on the phone a lot and enjoyed the conversations. Then she talked about having me come up and we hang out in person.

I liked the idea so we did. She came down to get me (my car was dead and I had no job), and we drove back up to Michigan. When we got there she immediately told me about her boyfriend. About how she wasn't sure if we were going anywhere and how she didn't want to end anything with him in case of "what-if's". So she called him up and broke up with him that night and, of course, he was one of the jealous pricks so he called the house about 80 times, drove by the house about 4 or 5 times a day.

She then took him back and broke up with me... While I was staying at her house. Stuck in Michigan she left me to find my way back to Ohio.

urahonky on August 2009

Click HERE for a Stylish add-on that removes the Agrees/Awesomes/etc on posts on Penny-Arcade.

A long time ago (about 4 years ago) I was dumped by my girlfriend while we were at University for our GM (WoW).

Then when I hooked up with another girl a month after we broke up and she was visiting her new boyfriend who lived NINE HOURS AWAY (He lived in Pennsylvania, We lived in SC) she had the gall to call me and yell at me (how she found out I will never know!)

I have one. This is going to be a lame start, but I figured that my post will start it and it'll go from there.

My last girlfriend lived in Michigan and I met her through an online game (that I won't mention). She seemed cool, and she was. We talked on the phone a lot and enjoyed the conversations. Then she talked about having me come up and we hang out in person.

I liked the idea so we did. She came down to get me (my car was dead and I had no job), and we drove back up to Michigan. When we got there she immediately told me about her boyfriend. About how she wasn't sure if we were going anywhere and how she didn't want to end anything with him in case of "what-if's". So she called him up and broke up with him that night and, of course, he was one of the jealous pricks so he called the house about 80 times, drove by the house about 4 or 5 times a day.

She then took him back and broke up with me... While I was staying at her house. Stuck in Michigan she left me to find my way back to Ohio.

Wow.

Anyway, I think compared to that all of my stories are tame. I've got the girl that broke up with me, then wanted to get back together, then suddenly called me when I was on my way to see her and said how dare I come see her when she'd known in advance I was coming and was okay with it. And then proceeded when I got there (I was almost there) to say that I was freaking her out and dashing off like mad. No, seriously. I was so pissed and dumbfounded I called her cell (which was turned off) and told her I was breaking up with her. Then got a call a few weeks later from her saying I was an asshole... and then another one a few minutes later... etc etc. Until a friend grabbed the phone and told her to fuck off if she didn't want her information leaked all over the net.

Then there's the girl that everything was mostly fine with until she started cutting herself right before I was to leave on vacation for 2 weeks, and then call me while I was gone and tell me we were splitting up, and then she attempted to be "friends" which mostly consisted of her talking to me about asinine things when I had serious health problems going on at the time... which I complained about not being able to talk about, which sparked an argument that caused us to never talk again.

Then there was the ex-anorexic-drug-addict-cutter, who currently is something of an alcoholic professing her love for me right before she said that she'd been seeing more than one person. Anyway, long story short we broke up... but at least I saw her friend naked.

I mean, I've DATED some crazy people besides that, but I can't say they were my girlfriends.

I also couldn't say that any of them friggin STRANDED ME IN ANOTHER STATE! o_0

My most recent ex-girlfriend was a bit crazy. She was clingy and whiny, especially when I went off to college and she was a senior in highschool. If I didn't talk to her for at least 3 hours every night, she accused me of not caring about her anymore. Anybody who is in/has been to college knows that you don't always have 3 hours free every single day. This resulted in many fights where I was called assorted names and terrible things.

The real killer was when I broke up with her. She systematically went to all of my friends and our mutual friends (via AIM, Facebook, phone, whatever she had) and told them I had cheated on her. This is not true. I never cheated on her. I talked to her once to find out why she was doing this and she claimed that I had emotionally cheated on her because since I wasn't talking to her as much I must have found someone else.

Yeah, I don't even know. Most of my friends told her to fuck off and came to tell me what she was up to. I was more than .

Not too insane, I know from previous threads that some dudes here have really crazy ones. It was just baffling.

I broke up with a girl during my sophomore year of college (long distance relationship) but she would continue to insinuate herself into my social life. And of course I was far to weak to tell her no. So naturally we would end up fooling around, because she still cared and I was not man enough to push her away. Inappropriate, but consensual.

Did I mention that we fought like crazy people? We did, and we pretty much loathed each other for it. Well, one day we're fighting and she says something that boggled my mind. Something I still can't believe came out of someone's mouth. I asked her to repeat herself. To paraphrase, she claimed that because we were not dating our fooling around was the equivalent of rape, and that I was a horrible human being and I should be ashamed of myself. I turned my back and walked away. She pleaded for me to come back, but well, I draw the line at accused sexual assault.

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

RocketSauce on August 2009

0

LudiousI just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered Userregular

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

I'm not really comfortable relating any crazy ex stories in a venue that is Google-indexed and might be read by people close to me in real life.

So instead, I'll relate a little bit of what it's like being polyamorous in the SF bay area and on OKCupid.

Right now, I'm dating an awesome girl, let's call her L. L is married and her husband, C, has a girlfriend V who unbeknownst to me until recently had been trying to set up a date with my good friend and ex-girlfriend M. M just got a new tattoo from her tattoo artist H who had a crush on her back in the day and confided his frustrations in his friend S, but I didn't know this until after I'd gone out with S for a few dates and she started talking about M and H. Now, around the time I met L I was dating another girl, A and I had also signed up for a volunteer opportunity at a nonprofit, where the training was being done by my ex Y. Now it's not terribly surprising that I encountered Y since she was the one who told me about the nonprofit in the first place but she told me she had quit before we even started dating. What was weird is that A had crossed paths with Y at a party and in her brief five-minute contact came face-to-face with all the reasons Y and I never worked out.

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years hadn't shown the slightest hint of romantic interest.

I'm not really comfortable relating any crazy ex stories in a venue that is Google-indexed and might be read by people close to me in real life.

So instead, I'll relate a little bit of what it's like being polyamorous in the SF bay area and on OKCupid.

Right now, I'm dating an awesome girl, let's call her L. L is married and her husband, C, has a girlfriend V who unbeknownst to me until recently had been trying to set up a date with my good friend and ex-girlfriend M. M just got a new tattoo from her tattoo artist H who had a crush on her back in the day and confided his frustrations in his friend S, but I didn't know this until after I'd gone out with S for a few dates and she started talking about M and H. Now, around the time I met L I was dating another girl, A and I had also signed up for a volunteer opportunity at a nonprofit, where the training was being done by my ex Y. Now it's not terribly surprising that I encountered Y since she was the one who told me about the nonprofit in the first place but she told me she had quit before we even started dating. What was weird is that A had crossed paths with Y at a party and in her brief five-minute contact came face-to-face with all the reasons Y and I never worked out.

Good god. I read through this twice and still have no idea what you're talking about.

So many variables! Do I solve for Y? I'm so confused.

Melkster on August 2009

0

LudiousI just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered Userregular

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years, I hadn't noticed the slightest hint of romantic interest.

I'm not really comfortable relating any crazy ex stories in a venue that is Google-indexed and might be read by people close to me in real life.

So instead, I'll relate a little bit of what it's like being polyamorous in the SF bay area and on OKCupid.

Right now, I'm dating an awesome girl, let's call her L. L is married and her husband, C, has a girlfriend V who unbeknownst to me until recently had been trying to set up a date with my good friend and ex-girlfriend M. M just got a new tattoo from her tattoo artist H who had a crush on her back in the day and confided his frustrations in his friend S, but I didn't know this until after I'd gone out with S for a few dates and she started talking about M and H. Now, around the time I met L I was dating another girl, A and I had also signed up for a volunteer opportunity at a nonprofit, where the training was being done by my ex Y. Now it's not terribly surprising that I encountered Y since she was the one who told me about the nonprofit in the first place but she told me she had quit before we even started dating. What was weird is that A had crossed paths with Y at a party and in her brief five-minute contact came face-to-face with all the reasons Y and I never worked out.

Good god. I read through this twice and still have no idea what you're talking about.

So many variables! Do I solve for Y? I'm so confused.

I spent two months trying to solve for Y and kept ending up with divide by zero errors.

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years hadn't shown the slightest hint of romantic interest.

Is she pretty? Do you like her (apparently you do, or you wouldn't spend time with her)? Just go with it. Duh.

I'm not really comfortable relating any crazy ex stories in a venue that is Google-indexed and might be read by people close to me in real life.

So instead, I'll relate a little bit of what it's like being polyamorous in the SF bay area and on OKCupid.

Right now, I'm dating an awesome girl, let's call her L. L is married and her husband, C, has a girlfriend V who unbeknownst to me until recently had been trying to set up a date with my good friend and ex-girlfriend M. M just got a new tattoo from her tattoo artist H who had a crush on her back in the day and confided his frustrations in his friend S, but I didn't know this until after I'd gone out with S for a few dates and she started talking about M and H. Now, around the time I met L I was dating another girl, A and I had also signed up for a volunteer opportunity at a nonprofit, where the training was being done by my ex Y. Now it's not terribly surprising that I encountered Y since she was the one who told me about the nonprofit in the first place but she told me she had quit before we even started dating. What was weird is that A had crossed paths with Y at a party and in her brief five-minute contact came face-to-face with all the reasons Y and I never worked out.

Good god. I read through this twice and still have no idea what you're talking about.

So many variables! Do I solve for Y? I'm so confused.

Is it wierd that I was able to read that through once and understand the entire thing?

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years hadn't shown the slightest hint of romantic interest.

Is she pretty? Do you like her (apparently you do, or you wouldn't spend time with her)? Just go with it. Duh.

I'm not really comfortable relating any crazy ex stories in a venue that is Google-indexed and might be read by people close to me in real life.

So instead, I'll relate a little bit of what it's like being polyamorous in the SF bay area and on OKCupid.

Right now, I'm dating an awesome girl, let's call her L. L is married and her husband, C, has a girlfriend V who unbeknownst to me until recently had been trying to set up a date with my good friend and ex-girlfriend M. M just got a new tattoo from her tattoo artist H who had a crush on her back in the day and confided his frustrations in his friend S, but I didn't know this until after I'd gone out with S for a few dates and she started talking about M and H. Now, around the time I met L I was dating another girl, A and I had also signed up for a volunteer opportunity at a nonprofit, where the training was being done by my ex Y. Now it's not terribly surprising that I encountered Y since she was the one who told me about the nonprofit in the first place but she told me she had quit before we even started dating. What was weird is that A had crossed paths with Y at a party and in her brief five-minute contact came face-to-face with all the reasons Y and I never worked out.

Good god. I read through this twice and still have no idea what you're talking about.

So many variables! Do I solve for Y? I'm so confused.

Is it wierd that I was able to read that through once and understand the entire thing?

My girlfriend woke up with a fright once when I walked into the bed room late at night once. It was dark. I kinda stoped at the door because I didn't really know what has happening. Then I got hit in the head with a pillow. I still don't know what good she thought a pillow would do if I was some kind of axe murderer.

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years, I hadn't noticed the slightest hint of romantic interest.

Yeah that's usually how this story goes.

This is probably true. I'd still say it's reaaallly weird that she'd have said what she said just because they went to a movie.

I'm not really comfortable relating any crazy ex stories in a venue that is Google-indexed and might be read by people close to me in real life.

So instead, I'll relate a little bit of what it's like being polyamorous in the SF bay area and on OKCupid.

Right now, I'm dating an awesome girl, let's call her L. L is married and her husband, C, has a girlfriend V who unbeknownst to me until recently had been trying to set up a date with my good friend and ex-girlfriend M. M just got a new tattoo from her tattoo artist H who had a crush on her back in the day and confided his frustrations in his friend S, but I didn't know this until after I'd gone out with S for a few dates and she started talking about M and H. Now, around the time I met L I was dating another girl, A and I had also signed up for a volunteer opportunity at a nonprofit, where the training was being done by my ex Y. Now it's not terribly surprising that I encountered Y since she was the one who told me about the nonprofit in the first place but she told me she had quit before we even started dating. What was weird is that A had crossed paths with Y at a party and in her brief five-minute contact came face-to-face with all the reasons Y and I never worked out.

Good god. I read through this twice and still have no idea what you're talking about.

So many variables! Do I solve for Y? I'm so confused.

Is it wierd that I was able to read that through once and understand the entire thing?

It's possible that I just suck at reading/comprehension.

Anyway, all I can do is make fun of other people's crazy stories because, well, I've never made it past a third date. And I'm 23. But I suppose I do have excuses.*

*

They're complicated excuses. Stop prying.

Melkster on August 2009

0

LudiousI just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered Userregular

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years, I hadn't noticed the slightest hint of romantic interest.

Yeah that's usually how this story goes.

This is probably true. I'd still say it's reaaallly weird that she'd have said what she said just because they went to a movie.

Wow. The only one that comes close to mine so far is urahonky. This is less a story about how crazy the girl was, but more how when crazy girlfriend is combined with crazy parents, shit hits the fan real quick. Alright then, here goes.

So I'm a senior in high school, and I'm on the Debate team. We usually get a lot of freshman that join the team every year, but this year we had an especially high turnout. One of them was a cute little blonde who showed interest in me and so we started dating. Now I know what you're thinking, senior dating freshman, yeah yeah get over it, I was desperate and a nerd in high school; that I was getting any action at all with my socially inept self is a miracle.

About two weeks after we started dating, a friend of mine calls me from a party that they're all at and says that she tried to kiss him, and he was just giving me a heads up. I, of course, do not believe him, and think that he's just being an asshole. I was of the opinion that if I was dating this girl, I had to trust her word over anyone else, otherwise it wouldn't work. Listen up guys: sometimes this logic backfires and you get fucked!

So, a few months pass, some drama here and there, but overall pretty good. Me and her start getting more physically adventurous, and it ventures into the realm of semi-blow job territory, and heavy petting. I get a call about two weeks before Christmas from her father, telling me that he knows about how physical our relatiionship has gotten and if I ever go near his daughter again he will call the police and I will be charged with statutory rape. In my head, I'm thinking: "ohshitohshitohshitohshit"

So I call her up, and ask her why the hell she would tell her parents about the stuff we've done together, when we both know how crazy religious and protective they are. Her response? "I didn't want to lie to my parents." My response? "I'm breaking up with you, I'm not going to jail for you."

At this point, she goes crazy. On Christmas eve, we get a knock on our door from a policeman. He comes in and starts questioning me about my relationship with this girl in front of my parents. He starts to ask strange questions, like "Did you ever force her to do things with you, or physically abuse her in any way?" So I start smelling bullshit. I asked why these questions mattered, and the cop said that when they interviewed her, she told them some things.

Apparently, not only had I been forcing her to do these sexual things with me, but I was hitting her and physically abusive (untrue). When the cops showed up at her house, she lied to them and tried to get me up on rape charges and assault, as well as statutory. Because of her lies and my denial, the cops then had to go around and interview every single person in my circle of friends and ask about the nature of our relationship and what kind of person I am. Luckily, I'm an Eagle Scout in National Honor Society and a candidate for national merit scholar at this point. The charges quickly get dropped, and the statutory charge didn't matter because I was only 2.5 years older than she was. In Texas, you must be 3 years older than the other person to commit statutory (dodged a bullet there).

After this, she goes literally insane. She starts sleeping with the boyfriend that she had before me in the stairwells of the school, and then telling everyone about it. Because word travels quickly, she eventually got caught by an assistant principal and sent to a reform school or something. She also had to get an abortion because they weren't using protection. Classy. Oh, and apparently she had been cheating on me with this guy the entire time we were dating, she just wanted to date a senior and I was the closest available one.

So let's sum up! I was accused of statutory rape, rape, assault, and physical abuse by a girl that was cheating on me and attempting to get with my friends while we were dating. Her parents called the cops on me even after saying they wouldn't if I left her alone, and she went crazy after I broke up with her and started having sex around the school.

Wow. The only one that comes close to mine so far is urahonky. This is less a story about how crazy the girl was, but more how when crazy girlfriend is combined with crazy parents, shit hits the fan real quick. Alright then, here goes.

So I'm a senior in high school, and I'm on the Debate team. We usually get a lot of freshman that join the team every year, but this year we had an especially high turnout. One of them was a cute little blonde who showed interest in me and so we started dating. Now I know what you're thinking, senior dating freshman, yeah yeah get over it, I was desperate and a nerd in high school; that I was getting any action at all with my socially inept self is a miracle.

About two weeks after we started dating, a friend of mine calls me from a party that they're all at and says that she tried to kiss him, and he was just giving me a heads up. I, of course, do not believe him, and think that he's just being an asshole. I was of the opinion that if I was dating this girl, I had to trust her word over anyone else, otherwise it wouldn't work. Listen up guys: sometimes this logic backfires and you get fucked!

So, a few months pass, some drama here and there, but overall pretty good. Me and her start getting more physically adventurous, and it ventures into the realm of semi-blow job territory, and heavy petting. I get a call about two weeks before Christmas from her father, telling me that he knows about how physical our relatiionship has gotten and if I ever go near his daughter again he will call the police and I will be charged with statutory rape. In my head, I'm thinking: "ohshitohshitohshitohshit"

So I call her up, and ask her why the hell she would tell her parents about the stuff we've done together, when we both know how crazy religious and protective they are. Her response? "I didn't want to lie to my parents." My response? "I'm breaking up with you, I'm not going to jail for you."

At this point, she goes crazy. On Christmas eve, we get a knock on our door from a policeman. He comes in and starts questioning me about my relationship with this girl in front of my parents. He starts to ask strange questions, like "Did you ever force her to do things with you, or physically abuse her in any way?" So I start smelling bullshit. I asked why these questions mattered, and the cop said that when they interviewed her, she told them some things.

Apparently, not only had I been forcing her to do these sexual things with me, but I was hitting her and physically abusive (untrue). When the cops showed up at her house, she lied to them and tried to get me up on rape charges and assault, as well as statutory. Because of her lies and my denial, the cops then had to go around and interview every single person in my circle of friends and ask about the nature of our relationship and what kind of person I am. Luckily, I'm an Eagle Scout in National Honor Society and a candidate for national merit scholar at this point. The charges quickly get dropped, and the statutory charge didn't matter because I was only 2.5 years older than she was. In Texas, you must be 3 years older than the other person to commit statutory (dodged a bullet there).

After this, she goes literally insane. She starts sleeping with the boyfriend that she had before me in the stairwells of the school, and then telling everyone about it. Because word travels quickly, she eventually got caught by an assistant principal and sent to a reform school or something. She also had to get an abortion because they weren't using protection. Classy. Oh, and apparently she had been cheating on me with this guy the entire time we were dating, she just wanted to date a senior and I was the closest available one.

So let's sum up! I was accused of statutory rape, rape, assault, and physical abuse by a girl that was cheating on me and attempting to get with my friends while we were dating. Her parents called the cops on me even after saying they wouldn't if I left her alone, and she went crazy after I broke up with her and started having sex around the school.

A friend I had known since high school, and had taken some college classes with, and worked with went with me to the movies. As we're walking in the parking lot she loops her arm around mine and her eyes are all lit up and says, "this is our first date!"

That doesn't necessarily sound crazy.

I guess what made it crazy was it fucking came out of nowhere. She may as well have been my sister. It probably isn't crazy at all, it just really freaked me out and I had no idea how to let this girl down who in 4 years, I hadn't noticed the slightest hint of romantic interest.

Yeah that's usually how this story goes.

This is probably true. I'd still say it's reaaallly weird that she'd have said what she said just because they went to a movie.

Long endured hope, when finally realized, is intoxicating.

In my mind, I'd be all the more cautious after that long a period. I'd probably officially recognize a date with someone after that long, later if anything, rather than sooner and risk putting myself out there.

Just remembered another one. Not crazy, just weird. I want to say this was my second girlfriend, might have been third, was a while ago.

It was my sophomore year of highschool. I had been pretty interested in this girl for a while, we got to talking, became a couple pretty quickly (as often happens in highschool). I was around 16, she was too. We usually hung out at my house if we were going to one of our houses because I had various things to do at my house.

I finally go over to her house for the first time and we're getting all ready to watch a movie - and hell yes this was on VHS, you know it. We pop in the tape and sit down on the couch expecting to see (whatever movie it was...have no idea now). What actually happened was that up on the screen came a home-made video of her sister having sex tied to her bed. She and her boyfriend had apparently recorded over this tape and, after watching it once, forgot to remove it from the area.

I had just met her sister for the first time about an hour earlier, so it was kind of strange to suddenly be watching her in bondage porn. Girlfriend shut off the tape pretty damn quick and we picked a new movie. It was never spoken of again.

Girlfriend wasn't the crazy one here, but it is a crazy story which involved her so I think it counts :/.

I had some really rough patches in my development. 12-15 sucked, so did 19-23 for different reasons.

This is, for the record, 12-15.

So I was a fucking horny 14 year-old, and she was a horny 14 year old. We were hanging out with a group of our delinquent friends by a baseball field/park. Now, I grew up in a great middle-class suburb of Massachusetts, so we were afforded all the luxuries of such. Namely, the trust and complicity of our respective parents. We had dated a little the school year before, and I had gotten a ton of flak from parents and peers because she was, well, a large crazy girl.

So there we were, with a bunch of friends (this is important!) at some field away from anything but the town sanitation plant. Now, said plant had a maze of back-roads and service entrances and in an effort to "get away from the group" we (my crazy lady friend and I) went walking down these roads until we found a small clearing.

"Fuck me!" she says.

I stand a bit dumbfounded, but my 14 year old hormones kick in. They whisper "Go, dude, this is your chance!" in my ear.

Yeah. Fuck them.

So she sheds her pants and pulls a blanket from her backpack, followed by the throw of a comdom.

"Wait a second! You planned this!" but the protest was muffled. My pants were down to my ankles.

So, long story abridged, I started going to town on this girl. Missionary, doggie. Really, every position she could support. We were at it for 10 minutes before we start to hear the sounds of loud talking.

Fuck. Our friends followed us.

Now here's the part of the story where I'll try to convince you that I protested. I didn't. Let's skip the lies.

I did my business with this girl, on a gravel roadway, in front of all our friends for another five minutes before I bust my nut. I was a damn stupid 14 year old. And she, she was the devil. I have other, non-dating/sex stories to share at a different time.

That fucking harpy girl was the reason I wasn't allowed to hang out with some of my friend senior year after I cleaned up my act. I kept hearing about how "[Crowing] has sex with girls in the woods!"

Suffice to say she's married with a kid, now. After years oif therapy, special schools and intervention.