Category Archives: Salad

Everyone has their redneck guilty pleasure right? I believe RipleyPickles is canned smoked oysters. I secretly (well not so secret anymore) love me some canned three bean salad. I normally hate canned anything, except three bean salad . The only thing canned foods are good for is your Mayan 2012 End of the World emergency kit and Thanksgiving food drives. I have seen fancy three bean salad in jars at gourmet food stores, but I still think it contains loads of sodium, preservatives and additives. I decided it is time to make my own! I scoured my cookbooks and the internets for a good recipe. I think I came up with the closest thing to canned. – ts

Like this:

The Chef brought this home last week for us to share. For two days I stole bites every time I was in the kitchen until he gave up and said I could have the rest. Which was good… because I had already eaten it. What I’m saying is, this is badass.

marxfood.com

Clearly this recipe targets the rich and famous as it requires a whole pound of lump crab meat, but it is worth every penny. (I say this as a person who got hers for free, but whatevs. Details.)

For those of you who are budget-conscious, The Chef would like to remind you that you can use a lot of different things to supplement the crab if you don’t want to burn your whole paycheck on this dish. Cooked shrimp, lobster or scallops can be substituted for part of the crab, and I’ll attest that the 1/2 shrimp-1/2 crab combo is plenty delicious. Just please, for the love, leave the krab out of it.

The Chef suggests serving this on avocado halves as a first course or with crackers or crispy wontons. I, however, think this salad is something that should remain between a girl and her spoon.

So this pasta salad was originally called “BLT Pasta Salad” until The Chef rightly (and a little smugly) pointed out that there is not, in fact, an “L” in it. To which I replied, “Um yuh-huh! Little tiny cucumbers. So there. What do you think about that?!”

bakeeatrepeat.blogspot.com

Turns out he thought that was stupid, which it was, so I renamed it. Basically it’s my copyright-infringement version of Bogie’s pasta salad but with bacon. Because… you know what, no. It needs no explanation. Bacon is its own reason.

As per usual with my pasta salads, I am not entirely sure about the amount of mayo, so you’ll just have to taste and add to your desired level of saturation. (The ladies reading this will appreciate that I’ve avoided using the words “moist” or “wet” here. Yes, we all hate those words. They’re icky, so just shut up about it.)

Also, if you are firmly anti-cucumber as I am, do not fear – if you dice the little buggers up tiny enough, you will barely even notice them. (But they are an integral part of the “Bogie’s” taste and the “saturation” factor, so don’t leave them out completely.)

And there you have it. This pasta will make your transition from lake to tailgate smooth – and delicious – so make sure you have some on hand.

Chill (at least a few hours, preferably over night). Before serving, check to make sure the pasta is not too dry and add more, ahem, “saturating” ingredients as necessary and the lemon juice.

*Make sure to cook the pasta a little under as it will sit and soften in the mayo. Also, don’t buy multicolored rotini for this because it’s much prettier red, white and green. But that might be the OCD talking, so you do what you want.
**Mince the life out of that little effer. I mean it. No big chunks of cucumber here. The slime will not stand.

Well corporate America, it’s almost quittin’ time on our most hallowed of holiday weekends. And nothing’s more American than using company time to do entirely personal things on a Friday afternoon, so that’s what I’m doing here.

This recipe is obviously of the rich and famous variety (because we clearly are SO VERY both), and it is as good as you think it is. The Chef made this in honor of our last dinner with The Grosshans (while we were still official Memphians, that is), and sitting on a porch eating this with a cold glass of white wine and good company is about as close to perfection as you can get. While you’re outdoors in Memphis in June, anyway.

The freshness of the tomatoes, the sweetness of the lobster and the bite of the balsamic make this dish truly addictive. So if you’ve decided to turn in your hot dogs for fancier fare this Fourth of July, this is a recipe not to be missed. (I obviously will not be doing that because hot dogs and me are an American love affair for the ages, but it’s your life.)

It’s that time of year again, lake rats: The 4th of July. And in honor of our upcoming trip to Tims Ford, I’m giving up one of my favorite have-around lake snacks: my version of the Chicken Pasta Salad from Bread & Company. [That stuff is way too expensive to buy by the pound, so I piddled around until I figured out a pretty close imitation. Grommet-style.]

It’s Monday, and due to the fact that I spent the better part of my Sunday sitting in traffic on I-40, all I want to do today is watch Netflix and play on Facebook as I normally would on Sunday. Unfortunately I have this stupid job thingy that’s totally ruining my plans.

So I’m giving my brain a break and posting something simple and fresh that I wish I’d had for lunch instead of the cold chicken fingers I actually ate. The Chef served this vinaigrette over roasted shrooms and carrots, and I must say between this and the baby carrot recipe, he’s actively proving that they aren’t just lame ranch-covered OM-related snacks from my childhood.

The Chef says this also works well as a marinade for lamb or beef. I cannot, however, vouch for lamb yet as that is one of the foods he has yet to make for me in an attempt to prove that it doesn’t, in fact, taste like dirt and barnyard like I think it does. I’ll keep you posted on that one.

As many of you know, I started a new job this week, and I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing. And as it turns out, I’m not good at being clueless. At work, that is. I’m great at it on the weekends (See: the black eye I gave myself from tripping over Emily’s computer last Friday).

Photo from kissmyspatula.com

Anyway, my confusion over words and acronyms I don’t understand stops now, which is why I chose to dumb-down The Chef’s title of this post from “crudo” to “salad.” That is the speed I’m running on, people, so shift back a gear.

This salad reminds me of a simpler time when my biggest worry was what kind of wine I was going to drink alongside my Chef-prepared farm fresh MFM veggies… also known as last week. Seems like a year.

Anywho, this salad was fresh and fantastic, and it was the perfect side to the Seared Scallops with Mango Vinaigrette. The adorable baby carrots we had with it didn’t hurt either (recipe coming soon).