Mary Carey Wishes You Happy Holi-Boobs

If you don’t know who Mary Carey is, consider your life thus far incomplete. The porn star who forged a career out of a vague resemblance to Mariah Carey and then ran for governor of California is set to appear next on VH1′s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, coming in 2008.

“Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state. I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

I’d make a ho-ho-ho joke, but I don’t want to be Imused.

Oh, but you know what the best thing about this is? The removed implants don’t signal a reduction, but an upgrade: since having her 36-D’s removed, Mary’s moved up to 36-DDD’s. So, basically, you’re getting her sloppy, perhaps deflated seconds, but hey, it’s for charity, right?