If you thought the famously-reviewed Amazon Banana Slicer was the lone solution to your banana-cutting predicament, have I got a 22", tropical-fruit-whacking guillotine for you. Though originally used to decapitate humans in medieval France, this classic execution device has been scaled down and reappropriated to simplify the dreaded culinary task of converting bananas from single arced tubes to a collection of tidy little disks. The 22" guillotine aims to revolutionize our relationship with bananas. Also, as shipped, its blade won't be sharp enough to sever the heads of Barbie dolls and action figures, so most of us won't be able to use it the way we'd like to until we find a good grinder.

Handmade from solid reclaimed wood and finished with sunflower seed oil, the mini guillotine is completely functional (and collapsible). Again, it arrives with a blade already sharp enough to bifurcate a monkey's lunch, and has a solid slam when the anvil lands. Craftswoman and Vamp Coffins mademoiselle, Victoria Coldwolf, warns against purchasing one for children or suspected future Darwin Award candidates. The guillotine's 22" height is complemented by a 16-1/2" length and 5" width.