WEEKLY RANT BY THE AFFILIATE SLAYER: CHRIS KAUTZ

So I was able to finally bless ASW in Vegas with my awesome presence. While I do know a lot, I am always down with attaining some more knowledge whether life related or affiliate marketing related. So I stayed at Caesars Palace, a monstrosity of a place like my gut and love for steak. And I do love steak, based on the $90 32oz Wagyu Beef Bone Ribeye I demolished. That’s right scoreboard, Affiliate Slayer 1, Cows 0. One more thing across the street from Caesars is large billboard on the Flamingo Casino with the shadow painting of Donnie and Marie Osmond which says “absolutely fabulous.”“WTF, Absolutely Fabulous?” What the heck is so fabulous about Donne and Marie Osmond? Who the heck goes and sees the Osmonds in Vegas, isn’t there anything else to do? Can’t the Flamingo put something else on the side of the building facing Caesar’s palace main entrance that doesn’t impair myvision? The Osmonds, how uncool and untalented is that phenomenon?

Anyway now that I have officially wasted your time with my usual BS spewing from my vast intellect let’s focus on what I have and hopefully you have learned from Vegas and ASW.

1) Blue men and a blue chick dressed in blue stockings should be kept to a Vegas show, not the ASW floor. It took several passings by them all over the casino and tradeshow floor to realize they were trying to brand something, but I don’t know what that was as the text was a little small. I guess somebody had to some dough to blow and doesn’t know about branding effectively. Although I would consider it a branding of an annoyance; they achieved that.

2) O2 is a luxury at Caesars.

3) There is some crappy overpriced food at Caesars

4) Caesars is confusing to get around the first time you walk in. Everything is scattered and seems dysfunctional like a Jerry Springer show

5) Some big networks, which will remain nameless, seemed to not attract much attention at their meet market tables. Very surprising……

6) Booth Candy was everywhere, but did it increase the conversion rate of top pubs wanting to do biz with a company. Has it ever? I pretty much lose respect for that, not because I am an overly conservative prude, but because it’s a waste of my time to walk over to a booth and be given some stupid swag because my credentials say “network”, or “affiliate”, than have to explain myself to someone who doesn’t know jack. This makes me selective.

7) A large overpriced steak is always better after a few drinks and having meet market duty all day.

8) I think Vegas has its own ratios for the table of elements. Hydrogen is normally the most prevalent element on earth, but in Vegas, it is Silicone

9) It is possible to go Vegas and not gamble? I realize that is dishonorable and you have to pay for drinks, but when you have biz and steak on the mind, that leaves room for little else.

10) Top 10 sounds better than top 9. You should be so lucky that I provided you with 9 lessons. Translation, there isn’t a 10th thing I learned; get over it. Until next time minions.