Tuesday Tips: Ask Amy–My Cat Hates My Boyfriend!

Cats show love in marvelous ways–to their kittens, to each other, and to their chosen people. That glorious picture was shared in my Kitty Publishing Group and just may end up in a future book! If you’ve got great feline pix to share–or pix for my Puppy Publishing Group–I hope you’ll check ’em out. Lovey dovey is fine, but anyone who’s ever lived with a fur-kid knows it’s not all snuggles and purrs.

What happens when the furry love of your life hates your date? Has that ever happened to you? Would you break up with him/her if the pets objected? Should owners listen to their pets’ opinion? What would you do if your date’s pets hated you? When I was in high school my boyfriend’s mini-Dachshund Greta tore up my sparkly purse. Maybe she was a fashion critic, ya think? She took the treats I brought and still hated me. We broke up later–me and the boyfriend, that is. Greta won.

There’s only so much I can fit into an Ask Amy, so I stopped with the “sock trick” recommendation. And sometimes it works to break the rules–witness my colleague Ingrid King’s blog about intros of her new kitten. So thinking outside the conventional wisdom, what’s worked for you?

What a relatable topic! It has taken 8 years, no joke, for my Shady-cat to get along with my Erin. When Erin and I were newly dating, he hugged me one night as he was leaving my apartment. He squeezed really tight, and I made the mistake of making a sound like he was hurting me. Shady-cat jumped up, latched on to the web between Erin’s thump and index finger, and wouldn’t let go! Erin walked away from me, Shady dangling from his hand. I was mortified! I couldn’t get mad at Shady, he was just protecting me. I couldn’t act like it was funny, because to Erin it wasn’t. We have now lived together for three years, and Shady has finally realized that Erin isn’t going anywhere. The two men in my life finally “like” each other, not love…this was great, Amy!!

Hi Tiffany! Wow, Shady-cat is a protective kitty. I once read a story of a very shy feline who became a “tiger” when a would-be rapist broke into the owner’s home, and the cat left a claw embedded in the attacker’s face. That’s how they id’d the culprit and sent ’em to jail. So GOOD SHADY! And with cats (and also men…*s*) it can take a long time to change c’attitudes. Glad the men in your life have reached an understanding.

I think the pets are absolutely a great barometer of romance success. My baby dog, Hoshi, was around when I dated and it was pretty consistent that whoever I loved, she loved.

That being said, the troublesome guys just made her pee and upchuck. No fooling…when the relationship would hit the rocks, it was a sure bet that it would be at the same time that Hoshi went through a vomitous period.

Jenny, when I was writing my “natural healing” book, I heard about this time after time–how the animals became ill at the exact same time as owners were ill or going through emotional turmoil. We’re connected in ways we don’t quite understand. One dog’s autoimmune skin disease finally went away after the owner divorced the abusive spouse.

We once had a Lhasa Apsos (fittingly) named Mongo. Mongo hated every stranger who came to our house, including our daughter’s new boyfriend, a good-looking 6’5″ guy. He was a really nice kid and got high parental approval marks.

However, the minute he walked into the kitchen, Mongo went for his ankles with a growl like a Rottie. That poor young man danced a jig, then scooted up on the counter, raising his feet up in the air while we corraled Mongo to another room. As I recall, it was their last date.