WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE

I don’t even have the words to describe how fucked we are. This is a video of HAL — the hybrid assisted limb system, which increases its wearer’s strength up to 10 times. Check out these stats from H+ magazine:

The HAL (Hybrid Assistive Limb) suit works by detecting faint
bioelectrical signals using pads placed on specific areas of the body.
The pads move the HAL suit accordingly. The Cyberdyne website explains:
“When a person attempts to move, nerve signals are sent from the brain
to the muscles via motoneuron, moving the musculoskeletal system as a
consequence. At this moment, very weak biosignals can be detected on
the surface of the skin. HAL catches these signals through a sensor
attached on the skin of the wearer. Based on the signals obtained, the
power unit is controlled to wearer’s daily activities.”

Okay, first of all, they’ve named this thing after cinema’s most murderous computer. Second of all — and I swear to god I’m not making this up — this thing is being made by a Japanese tech company that calls itself Cyberdyne. Really. FUCKING CYBERDYNE. IS MAKING IMMENSELY STRONG EXOSKELETONS. IN JAPAN. NAMED HAL.

In related news, there’s is no reason of earth not to get drunk out of your goddamn mind tonight. Because tomorrow, these things could be tearing us apart like fresh bread. Thanks to Chris McQ for the tip.

About The Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.