Oui, Oui, Oui … Si

Call it Mexicants

The “C” Word

by Nobody Special

Back when I was a kid — this being slightly after electricity, but well before everybody carried around lithium batteries in their pockets — there was … drum roll please … the “F” WORD. And people certainly did not say this word. Ever. And if you were a person still living at home, you probably could not even scream in frustration, “Oh! F-WORD!!” … Because even if you were technically not violating any rules, per se, your mother might know what you meant, and back when I was a kid, mothers definitely did not have a sense of humor about some things. And if your dad happened to laugh when you made this well thought out — and daringly clever, no doubt — “curse” of yours, well, both you and your dad might have to hightail it out of there and go visit Dairy Queen while things cooled off at home. … Y’know, theoretically.

As with most things it seems, then life got complicated.

Now we have, for example, the L-WORD — which could mean “Love” perhaps, albeit sometimes of a very specific variety as I understand it. If the conversation goes, “He said the L-word last night at dinner,” well that most likely means love. Change that to, “She said the L-word last night at dinner,” and you might be having an entirely different kind of conversation. Or maybe not. It could still mean Love. Or it could mean someone has a Showtime subscription. Or it could mean the dinner companion was either thrilled or despondent, depending upon the sex of said dinner companion.

These days we have all sorts of words defined by letters, granted most often of the super-scary government agency variety, but when you get to the single letter variety, it generally means, we really want to talk about this subject, but we cannot comfortably say the single word that describes it. You will not find this a complicated concept. Think the N-WORD, and you’ll understand perfectly.

Then we have, as in the case of this title, the C-WORD. Not many of us have the audacity to use the word in everyday conversation, say, as Stormy Daniels did in her recent Penthouse interview, “Cause I’m that kind of cunt.” … Also, as with the n-word, one pretty much needs to be in the group described in order to get away with its use at all. If a man uses the c-word in a way descriptive toward an individual, odds would be that he does not mean this in a loving and quirky way. So how the men came up with this title (six times apparently) remains a mystery to those of us more enlightened at Risqué. Men are base creatures. That’s about all we can figure.

Understanding that will be helpful as you peruse the Latin Lovelies — which would have been a much better title, come to think of it — on your journey through this TOC installment. Should you find yourself unable to suspend disbelief to a point where you can laugh at the often pitiful, offendingly stereotypical, and generally embarrassing “plot” devices here, we suggest just turning the volume down or scrubbing forward to the part where everyone is already naked. It’ll help you enjoy it more.

Full disclosure, we did laugh around here, but we’re admittedly weird, appreciate the unrefined and irreverent, and happen to have a group where some of the women could give “base” an entirely new community had they the desire. Bottom line, make your own choices, but if the c-word in the title offends you, proceed with caution — which would be a much better c-word, now that we think about that.

Sure. It does seem that life continues to get more and more complicated, and we could (ironically, given how we happen to be communicating) have technology to blame. Just whatever you do, don’t let anyone fuckin’ catch you sayin’ fuck — or you’ll be fucked. … That may still be a dirty word, but it does have the benefit of amazing grammatical diversity.