Keegans Trivia Wins

January 3rd, 2007 by Kevin

Since I did such a good job on my 2006 predictions, it seems like I should do some 2007 predictions as well. Once again I thought long and hard, but then my head started to hurt, so I just made some crap up. Here\’s what I came up with.

Renewed claims of the sky is falling will be taken up again the next time Bush promotes absolutely anything. Once again, the sky will not fall. This trend will not end.

After virtually every instance of especially bad weather, liberal moonbat pundits will assume an “I told you so” aura as they decry “scientifically proven” global warming and how it’s all Bush’s fault.

Microsoft products will continue to suck.

Learned Foot will use the word \”boobies\” in no less than 300 posts.

I will finally win the Rock Solid In The Blogosphere Award!

There will be another Supreme Court vacancy. Democrats will proclaim Bush as a “divider” if he nominates a replacement to the right of Jimmy Carter.

The Post-MILF festivities will bring open warfare between Learned Foot and his neighbors

A giant fenarglebeast, weighing approximately one metric fuck-ton, will appear and threaten all of mankind. What exactly a fenarglebeast is, and how much it weighs will never be satisfactorily explained.

Out of nowhere an army of rabid flying wombats will emerge and defeat the dreaded fenarglebeast, although the city of Paris will be wiped out when the fenarglebeast farts. Everyone considers it a win-win situation. Officials at EckerNet.Com will refuse to comment on the wombat army.

President Bush will officially announce his candidacy for the Presidency of Mexico. As part of his announcement, he will cite his longstanding advocacy for the welfare of Mexicans everywhere.

McCain and Guiliani will fade as desirable candidates for the 2008 Republican nomination for President. Mitt Romney and Duncan Hunter will emerge as the preferred candidates

50c of the MN Militia, making up for lost time while deployed to Iraq, will assassinate King Fuzzi-Wuzzi, leader of the Prarie Dogs.

Two days later, France offers it\’s unconditional surrender to 50c.

Al Gore will mumble something about Global Warming, the public will continue to not give a shit

Rosie O\’Donnell will continue her very public feud with Donald Trump, by uttering \”Get in my belly!\”

North Korea will successfully test a nuclear weapon

Kim Jong-Il will be removed from power by China, which will be responding to fears the incident forcing Japan to militarize.

The Homeland Security Department will continue not to build the fence authorized by Congress.

The MN Militia will welcome 3 new members to it\’s ranks

There will be a major terrorist attack in Europe

My parents will finally get broadband internet. And I will receive no fewer that three calls next year asking me to come over and fix their internet.

President Bush will offer a cost-saving plan to outsource our national security to Mexican authorities

The Freedom Tower, built on the site of the 9/11 attacks, will still not be completed six years after the attack

Bloggers will continue to ask \”Who is Jamal Hussein?\”, as the AP continues to stonewall on identifying it\’s mysterious lone source

The New York Times will continue to get away with endangering national security by publishing secret information

Control of Iraq will be handed over to Iraqi forces in late 2007

Several hurricanes will hit the US this year, none approaching Katrina level devestation. Regardless, Democrats everywhere will cite what damage they do do as continuing failures of the Bush administration.

Bush will tell Rove to stop playing with his Acme \”Kill Darkies\” Weather Machine.

A member of the Northern Alliance will make it to Keegans….maybe

There will be a major oil discovery in Israel

With the exception of a few extreme members, the Democrats will NOT attempt to impeach Bush. This will send the Kos and the rest of the nutroots into a foaming-at-the-mouth frenzy of biblical proportions.