72834: Guidelines on the relatives with whom ties of kinship must be upheld

Is the son of my paternal aunt one of the relatives with whom I must uphold ties of kinship?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Undoubtedly the son of your paternal aunt is one of the
relatives with whom ties of kinship should be upheld and whom you should
treat kindly and to whom you should be friendly. But is he one of the “rahm”
relatives with whom ties of kinship must be upheld? There is a difference of
opinion among the fuqaha’ concerning that. The reason for that is that
relatives are of two types: mahrams and non-mahrams. The guideline on mahram
relatives is: each two persons who, if one were male and the other female,
it would not be permissible for them to get married, such as fathers and
mothers, sisters and brothers, grandfathers and grandmothers no matter how
far the line of ascent reaches, children and grandchildren no matter how far
the line of descent reaches, paternal uncles and aunts, and maternal uncles
and aunts.

With regard to the children of paternal uncles and aunts and
maternal uncles and aunts, they are not mahram relatives, because it is
permissible to marry them.

Non-mahram relatives are all other relatives, such as the son
of your paternal aunt, the daughter of your paternal aunt, the son of your
maternal aunt, the daughter of your maternal aunt, and so on.

Some fuqaha’ are of the view that the relatives with whom
ties of kinship must be upheld are the mahram relatives only. As for
non-mahram relatives, it is mustahabb to uphold ties with them but it is not
obligatory. This is the view of the Hanafis and is the lesser-known view of
the Maalikis; it is also the view of Abu’l-Khattaab among the Hanbalis.
Their evidence is that if it is obligatory to uphold ties of kinship with
all relatives, it would be obligatory to uphold ties of kinship with all of
the children of Adam, and that is impossible, so it is essential to set
guidelines on the relationship which makes it obligatory to uphold and
honour ties of kinship and makes it forbidden to cut those ties, and that is
the mahram relatives.

They also quoted as evidence the words of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “One should not be married to a
woman and her paternal aunt, or a woman and her maternal aunt, at the same
time.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim (1408). Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said:
al-Tabaraani added to the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas: “If you do that, you have
severed your ties of kinship.” This was classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan.
And Abu Dawood narrated in al-Maraaseel a report from ‘Eesa ibn
Talhah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) forbade being married to a woman and any of her relatives at the
same time, for fear of severing ties of kinship. End quote from
al-Diraayah fi Takhreej Ahaadeeth al-Hidaayah (2/56).

The way in which they understood this hadeeth to prove their
point was explained by some of the Maaliki scholars (may Allaah have mercy
on him). Al-Quraafi said: The eighth issue regarding the obligation of
upholding ties of kinship: Shaykh al-Tartooshi said: one of the scholars
said: rather upholding ties of kinship is obligatory if the relatives are
mahrams, which refers to each two persons who, if one were male and the
other female, it would not be permissible for them to get married, such as
fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, grandfathers and grandmothers no
matter how far the line of ascent reaches, children and grandchildren no
matter how far the line of descent reaches, paternal uncles and aunts, and
maternal uncles and aunts. As for the children of these, upholding ties of
kinship between them is not obligatory, because it is permissible for them
to get married. The soundness of this view is indicated by the fact that it
is haraam to be married to two sisters, or to a woman and her paternal aunt
or to a woman and her maternal aunt at the same time, because that leads to
severing the ties of kinship, and avoiding something haraam is obligatory,
and honouring them and not harming them is obligatory. But is it permissible
to be married to two female paternal cousins or two female maternal cousins
at the same time, even if they are jealous of one another and sever ties
with one another, and that is because upholding ties of kinship between them
is not obligatory. End quote from al-Farooq (1/147).

The second opinion concerning this issue is that it is
obligatory to uphold ties of kinship with all of them, with no distinction
between mahrams and non-mahrams. This is one view of the Hanafis and is the
well known view of the Maalikis. It was also stated by Ahmad, and it is what
may be understood from the general terms in which the Shaafa’is discussed
this issue, because none of them singled out the mahram relatives in this
regard. Al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah (3/83).

There are other opinions concerning this matter. It says in
Subul al-Salaam (2/628): It should be noted that the scholars
differed concerning the definition of the relatives with whom it is
obligatory to uphold ties of kinship. It was said that it is relatives with
whom marriage is haraam, such that if one of them were male marriage to the
other would be forbidden. Based on that, it does not include the children of
paternal or maternal uncles and aunts. Those who hold this view quote as
evidence the fact that it is haraam to be married to a woman and her
paternal aunt or maternal aunt at the same time, because that leads to
severing of ties of kinship.

And it was said that it is those who are connected by
inheritance which is indicated by the words of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), “then the next closest and the next
closest.”

And it was said that it refers to those who are related to
one another regardless of whether they are connected by inheritance or not.

Moreover, upholding of ties of kinship, as al-Qaadi ‘Iyaad
said, is of varying degrees, some of which are higher than others. At the
very least, it is not forsaking one another, and upholding ties by speaking,
even if it only saying salaam. That varies according to possibility and
need. It may be obligatory or mustahabb. If a person upholds ties to some
extent, even if it is not to the fullest extent, he cannot be called a
breaker of ties of kinship, and if he fails to do what he is able to do and
should do, then he cannot be called an upholder of ties of kinship.

Al-Qurtubi said: The degrees of relationship which must be
upheld are general and specific. The general relationship is that which is
based on religion, which must be upheld by means of mutual love, sincerity,
fairness and fulfilment of rights both obligatory and mustahabb.

In addition to that, the specific relationship also involves
spending on relatives, checking on them and overlooking their mistakes. End
quote.

This is a summary of what the scholars have said about this
issue, but what has been narrated about the great reward for upholding ties
of kinship and the severe punishment for severing them will be no secret to
you. This means that you should be keen to uphold ties of kinship and beware
of severing them, and be on the safe side with regard to your religious
commitment, and avoid an area concerning which the scholars differed. So
hasten to uphold ties of kinship with the son of your paternal aunt, and
treat him kindly as much as you can, for the reward of that will not be lost
with Allaah.