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The "Match.com" Challenge

Well, I decided to take your advice, Sphynx, and start a thread about experiences/advice on Match.com.

I signed up for it 3 days ago, but I've never done Internet dating before, so I'm having trouble getting my feet wet. As you guys can imagine, I've got a fair amount of humor in my profile, and do you know why? Because everyone's profile I've looked over that has all this "I'm such a great guy and trying to sell myself online" is BORING. You know what? Yes, I will admit up front that my best friend and I visit Dinosaur World once a year. Everybody loves dinosaurs.

So, anybody else like to share Match.com experiences? The good, the bad, the indifferent? As someone who's new to this whole deal and still too shy (or, in the case of the tattoo artist from Boulder looking for his "muse", too unwilling) to "wink" back at people, but there might be a couple of people I'll respond to when I get the nerve (read: beer) to do so. It's just Internet dating, Kelley - not a marriage proposal...

I am also new to the internet dating...One of my closest friends talked me into it.. Actually, I ddin't even tell her I joined~ my intent was to join, go thru the "motions" and be able to go back to her and say...IT DIDN"T WORK!

I laugh too Kelley, some of those profiles are just "hilarious"...I was actually very good about it, I responded to every wink or message sent to me and "gently/politely" would wish them well finding their match.

So he "winked" at me it was the week before Thanksgiving...we talked almost a week before I agreed to "meet" him and we have dated since...I'll keep you updated....

I am looking forward to reading yours, I think I am just going to die laughing as your just so comical!!!!

i started a match profile back when my ex and broke up in june. i had some really creepy guys approach me and quit after like 2 weeks. one guy that i thought seemed okay, i gave my number to and he proceeded to text me about 40 times a day - and that is not an exaggeration. after reading that you two decided to do match.com, i decided to log back in yesterday and just view some profiles, some of which i found intriguing. i think i might make my profile visible again and give it another shot.

one of my friends (my ex's cousin, actually, haha) met her now husband on match.com. they really are a perfect match, it's sort of weird how perfect they are for one another. they bought a house and got married about a year after meeting one another and are pretty much the happiest couple i know. she was talked into going on match.com by some coworkers - 2 of which also married the men they met on match.com.

so, there are success stories, haha.

i guess, i'm struggling because i know i'm ready to start meeting new people, but i struggle because i think about my ex. i wonder how he'll feel if i meet someone new, i'd almost prefer he move on before me. i know he shouldn't be my focus, but i can't help but think about him when i consider the dating website stuff.

Ok girls I decided to join this challenge...
I don't have a Match.com account but I have one on a pretty popular place on Facebook called Are you interested? And it's great here in my country because is free and a lot of cute guys are in this site...

Well, here's my experience so far. A really cute guy started writing messages and I reply but I wasn't really interested. He then asked for my number and I gave it to him. He called me twice and then in a really cute way asked me out. We went for a drink on a place near the river last Friday. We really got along and after the drinks he invited me for dinner but I politely told him that I prefer to go out another day and he was fine with it.

The next day we met, he sent me a message saying he had a good time, he was leaving for the weekend but he wanted to meet with me on Monday for dinner. So of course I said yes to that and waited for his call.
Monday came and he never called. I was upset but I decided to send a not angry message to see what happened... I said that I didn't understand why he made plans with me with anticipation and then he never called... And then I said that it was a shame because I would like to know him better... He reply that he can see that I never receive his message from that morning and 5 seconds later he forwarded that message.
It said that his sister was at the hospital, she seems to be pregnant and doctors were making some tests on her to see what was the problem... I told him that it was ok, that was a coincidence because my sister was having a surgery the next day and that I hoped that everything went well with her sister. He then answer about her health but didn't said anything about me or re schedule our date. That was it. This was last Monday and I didn't have a message or a call from him since then...
It's a shame because I really like him and I want to see him again but I'm not planning on sending a message or call him. I think the ball is on his side...
Do you guys think I should send a message asking him about his sister???

Well, I finally got the nerve to wink back at someone. Two years younger than me - not typically a turn-on, but I'm lenient when one shows maturity and a sense of humor. There were two main reasons why I winked back: His profile headline said something about how every time someone ignores a wink from him, a fairy dies, and do you really want to hate Tinkerbell? I didn't want to be responsible for fairy homicide. Also, one of his pictures was of him kissing an enormous fish he'd caught. I was both grossed out and intrigued. Mainly, I want to know if it was as disgusting as it looked.

A lot profiles of guys who have "winked" back at me are pretty boring, even if they're pretty cute. There's nothing worse than a good looking, boring guy. It feels like such a waste of attractiveness. Although one of them (I got the impression he KNEW he was good looking) had kind of a scary profile. Something along the lines of "I'm pretty competitive - I'm in it to win, not to have a good time and buy beers for everyone later. I don't really get into fights but I won't back down from one if i get into one." Simmer down there, Ali.

So, that's how this experience is going for me. There are mass amounts of attractive guys in Charleston - I see them everywhere. One of them's GOT to have doofy tendencies too, right? Enough of the smooth-talking, charming types - they're nothing but trouble. I'd rather have an accident-prone goofball.

As in any kind of dating there are success stories and ahhhh the NOT so successful stories! One of the factors that had me join is I too am busy....I have a 16 yo daughter that is in her Sophmore year in high school and who is very active in her activities...I have a shared custody arrangement where I have her one week on, one week off so during my weeks I have her responsibilities first...during the summer, she plays travel softball, she is the catcher and has tournaments almost every weekend during June and July...so I spend much of my summer at the ball fields! Between her responsibilities and my own activities I am just "busy"....my girlfriend said to me why not join? Where are you going to meet someone with your schedule, etc....so hence I did join basically to be able to later say...."It didn't work"! HA

I do believe everyone is busy....we make "time" if we want to make that time to be with someone...plus if the partner is interested they also make time and you work it out...so far in my situation it is working....if I have things going on here he comes up my way, if not, we make plans and he either comes up my way or I go up his way....We live an hour from each other.

Romi~I don't know that I would send him a message but its what do you want to do? If you do send one I would simply say that you were thinking about him and his sister and wanted to know how she was... hope all is well kind of message. Then go from there.

Just my 2 cents worth...

Good morning,

I have been following this post closely but I must disagree with it so please hear me out before the man bashing gets too out of hand.

First and foremost, none of you are seriously ready for this. This is merely my opinion but I can judge by each of your character traits that this is more or less a “yeah, we should do it to prove to ourselves we are ready.” I could NOT disagree more with this. I admire your positive initiative and the courage to push forward but your underlying hurt will soon surface.

I want everyone to be happy. I have no ill intent but I will speak my opinion because I do care. I choose not to point out personal examples of each but I want each one of you trying to take this challenge to look deep within yourself and realize you are not ready for this. You may NEED this but you are not strong enough. Think of your emotions like a Klondike bar. You may have a sweet, tough outer shell yet the inside is soft.

My idea of Internet dating sites is simple. If you put two people together THAT ARE LOOKING FOR THE SAME THING…at the same time and you do have a bit of chemistry, how fast will the snowball roll? If you choose to get involved with someone when you haven’t or you are choosing NOT to deal with past hurt, aren’t you initially going to hurt your future chances as well as someone else?

My main concern is you. You do what you feel and whatever you feel you are ready to do. I can only base my opinion on your personalities and characteristic traits that I have come to love and care about. If you feel you heart is ready to meet someone else and enjoy the ride, then go for it. All I ask is that you look deep within yourself and ask “Can I seriously do this?” If the answer is no, then you have your answer. Please keep in mind that there is a huge difference in NEEDING to do something and WANTING to do something. Being lonely is NOT an excuse for companionship. If your heart isn’t ready, it’s just common sense not to go through the motions just because you NEED to.

Don’t give in to peer pressure if you’re not ready for the dating scene. Focus on you. When you secretly hold onto pain from your past, how can you feasibly move forward and pretend it didn’t happen or ignore it all together? The truth is you can’t. Meeting someone else should NOT be your focus when you haven’t learned to let go of the past.
Don’t take my word for it, all you have to do it look deep inside and you will find the answer.

Think about it.

-SuperDave71

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

Hey SD! Well I think you are right about what you said but just in some cases...
In other cases I think it's time to start meeting new people, having some fun in a date and see that there are great people out there to deal with and our ex's are not the only one in the world...
Of course if someone feels they aren't ready then don't do it because there's someone else's feelings involve...
In my case, I’m not looking for meeting a new guy but sometimes it just happens and who knows? Maybe it could be a great experience…
Just my opinion…