Tooth Fairy Economics

Interesting article from the Boston Globe about tooth fair ecnomics, and parents' increasing gift giving. I remember getting a buck under my pillow. Now some parents are giving a $20 per tooth, or putting together small gift bags. Are we getting out of control with gift giving and turning every holiday/experience into another excuse to shower our kids with presents?

Years ago, when a child in her daughter’s class lost her first tooth and got $20 from the Tooth Fairy, Linda Jerrett was angry.

“All the parents were,” Jerrett, whose daughter is now 20, recalled. “Their daughter was one of the first at the time to lose a tooth. We didn’t have quite as much money, so we were like, ‘What are you doing?’ ”

Jerrett, who lives in Reading, also has two younger children, ages 7 and 13, which has put her back into the role of the Tooth Fairy all over again more than a decade (and a much-changed economy) later. Still, as for how she determines how much cash the imaginary sprite will swap for baby teeth, she said “social pressure” remains her guiding factor.

“In my town it’s generally five bucks a tooth,” Jerrett said, an amount that’s almost $3 more than the 2011 national per tooth average of $2.10, according to an annual survey done by insurer Delta Dental.

Such totals are due, in part, to the rise in kids’ — and parents’ — expectations around just about every holiday and near-holiday. At Halloween, a plastic bucket to collect candy isn’t enough anymore — there’s scary yard decor to consider and catalogs filled with pricey costumes. Easter often includes wrapped gifts in addition to a cute candy basket. And when birthdays roll around, many kids expect a bash at Build-a-Bear or a rented jumpy house in the backyard. Pin the tail on the donkey? Please.

And so it is with the Tooth Fairy.

What was once a magical experience that helped overshadow the mild trauma of tooth loss – a fairy leaving a token under a pillow in exchange for baby teeth – may be going the route of other gift-giving occasions. Some parents feel pressure to give an amount equal to their child’s peers, if not a gift as well. It’s keeping up with the Fairy Joneses.

Frantic parents will often stop by the children’s store Magic Beans in Brookline, where manager Colin Dwyer helps them find the perfect gift to celebrate a lost tooth.

“If it’s a first tooth it could be something pretty big. A lot of times, because they’re losing teeth a lot, they’ll buy little things,” he said, adding, “It’s almost like a panic moment.”

To be prepared for unexpected tooth loss, he said some parents like to stock up on toys. Purchases will often be small tchotchkes that are part of a set, like Lego Minifigures, which cost $4 each and come in an opaque silver bag, to make the contents a surprise. Charm It charms are also popular, which attach to a bracelet and cost around $5 each.

For some families, it’s all about the money. On TheBump.com, a parenting site owned by wedding resource The Knot, moms exchange their Tooth Fairy experiences, with many saying they give $10 or $20 for first teeth, and other parents replying that they “must be cheap” for giving less.

This month, HAFranklin wrote, “A girl in [my daughter’s] class has lost 3 teeth already, and she got $20 for each one! Great. Now the tooth fairy is going to seem like a cheap jerk because her tooth fairy is a show-off.”

In general, such numbers are outliers. According to the Delta Dental survey, Tooth Fairy gifts took a hit when the stock market crumbled in 2008 (the average dropped to $1.88 per tooth), before climbing up to $2.52 in 2010, and settling back down last year to $2.10. Considering that kids lose 20 baby teeth, that adds up.

David Elkind, professor emeritus of Childhood Development at Tufts University and author of “The Hurried Child,” said parents use the Tooth Fairy as a conduit for their busy-parent remorse.

“They’re anxious about their parenting, maybe not being with their kids as much as they should be,” he said, “so this becomes a focus for their anxiety and their guilt. And so they overdo it to make up for other lacks that they feel.”

So how do parents maintain the fairy-tale illusion when their child comes home from school wondering why Bobby got $10 and a toy from his Tooth Fairy? Elkind recommends telling kids to write to the Tooth Fairy to complain, to keep it “imaginary.”

He also suggested that parents reply that, “There are different fairies. Their tooth fairy is very generous; we have a stingy tooth fairy.”

To stray away from the monetary aspect, some parents go a more creative route, which can come with mixed results, not to mention depleted energy.

When Angela Mellon’s daughter, Mamie, now 11, started asking questions about who the Tooth Fairy was, she came up with a plan: She left a note from their fairy, whom she named Marigold, written in curlicue letters in purple ink. For an added touch, she left glitter near the bed and on the windowsill.

“It’s one of those things that I thought was such an awesome idea the first time we did it,” Mellon said. “But then I realized the upkeep of doing it every time they lost a tooth was going to be a nightmare.”

A scientist who works full time (as does her husband), Mellon, who lives in Medford, said maintaining Marigold ended up “snowballing into this colossal effort” for each personalized note.

“It got to be like, ‘Oh man, I’m so exhausted, it’s 9 o’ clock and we have to get the Marigold stuff together,’ ” she said, adding that they didn’t get nearly as involved for their 10-year-old son Ewan’s Tooth Fairy. “But you know, I’m still glad we did it.”

Maureen O’Brien, a parenting coach at Destination Parenting based in Canton, compared the evolution of the Tooth Fairy to the trends in children’s birthday parties. Where a balloon or extra piece of cake to take home used to suffice, these days parents often feel the need to bestow goody bags upon guests — bags filled with candy and a handful of trinkets.

“I feel like we as adults just kind of create competition in situations where the kids really are not as concerned about it as we think they will be,” O’Brien said.

She advised that the Tooth Fairy give an item that would seem special to the child, like a quarter from a state the family visited together. To turn the occasion away from money, she suggested bringing the conversation back to the gap in a child’s mouth and how they’re “big kids now.”

“Make it about what it’s really supposed to be about, a real marker for growing up,” O’Brien said, “and they’ll be much more excited about that than whether they feel short-changed.”

Interesting article from the Boston Globe about tooth fair ecnomics, and parents' increasing gift giving. I remember getting a buck under my pillow. Now some parents are giving a $20 per tooth, or putting together small gift bags. Are we getting out of control with gift giving and turning every holiday/experience into another excuse to shower our kids with presents?

Years ago, when a child in her daughter’s class lost her first tooth and got $20 from the Tooth Fairy, Linda Jerrett was angry.

“All the parents were,” Jerrett, whose daughter is now 20, recalled. “Their daughter was one of the first at the time to lose a tooth. We didn’t have quite as much money, so we were like, ‘What are you doing?’ ”

Jerrett, who lives in Reading, also has two younger children, ages 7 and 13, which has put her back into the role of the Tooth Fairy all over again more than a decade (and a much-changed economy) later. Still, as for how she determines how much cash the imaginary sprite will swap for baby teeth, she said “social pressure” remains her guiding factor.

“In my town it’s generally five bucks a tooth,” Jerrett said, an amount that’s almost $3 more than the 2011 national per tooth average of $2.10, according to an annual survey done by insurer Delta Dental.

Such totals are due, in part, to the rise in kids’ — and parents’ — expectations around just about every holiday and near-holiday. At Halloween, a plastic bucket to collect candy isn’t enough anymore — there’s scary yard decor to consider and catalogs filled with pricey costumes. Easter often includes wrapped gifts in addition to a cute candy basket. And when birthdays roll around, many kids expect a bash at Build-a-Bear or a rented jumpy house in the backyard. Pin the tail on the donkey? Please.

And so it is with the Tooth Fairy.

What was once a magical experience that helped overshadow the mild trauma of tooth loss – a fairy leaving a token under a pillow in exchange for baby teeth – may be going the route of other gift-giving occasions. Some parents feel pressure to give an amount equal to their child’s peers, if not a gift as well. It’s keeping up with the Fairy Joneses.

Frantic parents will often stop by the children’s store Magic Beans in Brookline, where manager Colin Dwyer helps them find the perfect gift to celebrate a lost tooth.

“If it’s a first tooth it could be something pretty big. A lot of times, because they’re losing teeth a lot, they’ll buy little things,” he said, adding, “It’s almost like a panic moment.”

To be prepared for unexpected tooth loss, he said some parents like to stock up on toys. Purchases will often be small tchotchkes that are part of a set, like Lego Minifigures, which cost $4 each and come in an opaque silver bag, to make the contents a surprise. Charm It charms are also popular, which attach to a bracelet and cost around $5 each.

For some families, it’s all about the money. On TheBump.com, a parenting site owned by wedding resource The Knot, moms exchange their Tooth Fairy experiences, with many saying they give $10 or $20 for first teeth, and other parents replying that they “must be cheap” for giving less.

This month, HAFranklin wrote, “A girl in [my daughter’s] class has lost 3 teeth already, and she got $20 for each one! Great. Now the tooth fairy is going to seem like a cheap jerk because her tooth fairy is a show-off.”

In general, such numbers are outliers. According to the Delta Dental survey, Tooth Fairy gifts took a hit when the stock market crumbled in 2008 (the average dropped to $1.88 per tooth), before climbing up to $2.52 in 2010, and settling back down last year to $2.10. Considering that kids lose 20 baby teeth, that adds up.

David Elkind, professor emeritus of Childhood Development at Tufts University and author of “The Hurried Child,” said parents use the Tooth Fairy as a conduit for their busy-parent remorse.

“They’re anxious about their parenting, maybe not being with their kids as much as they should be,” he said, “so this becomes a focus for their anxiety and their guilt. And so they overdo it to make up for other lacks that they feel.”

So how do parents maintain the fairy-tale illusion when their child comes home from school wondering why Bobby got $10 and a toy from his Tooth Fairy? Elkind recommends telling kids to write to the Tooth Fairy to complain, to keep it “imaginary.”

He also suggested that parents reply that, “There are different fairies. Their tooth fairy is very generous; we have a stingy tooth fairy.”

To stray away from the monetary aspect, some parents go a more creative route, which can come with mixed results, not to mention depleted energy.

When Angela Mellon’s daughter, Mamie, now 11, started asking questions about who the Tooth Fairy was, she came up with a plan: She left a note from their fairy, whom she named Marigold, written in curlicue letters in purple ink. For an added touch, she left glitter near the bed and on the windowsill.

“It’s one of those things that I thought was such an awesome idea the first time we did it,” Mellon said. “But then I realized the upkeep of doing it every time they lost a tooth was going to be a nightmare.”

A scientist who works full time (as does her husband), Mellon, who lives in Medford, said maintaining Marigold ended up “snowballing into this colossal effort” for each personalized note.

“It got to be like, ‘Oh man, I’m so exhausted, it’s 9 o’ clock and we have to get the Marigold stuff together,’ ” she said, adding that they didn’t get nearly as involved for their 10-year-old son Ewan’s Tooth Fairy. “But you know, I’m still glad we did it.”

Maureen O’Brien, a parenting coach at Destination Parenting based in Canton, compared the evolution of the Tooth Fairy to the trends in children’s birthday parties. Where a balloon or extra piece of cake to take home used to suffice, these days parents often feel the need to bestow goody bags upon guests — bags filled with candy and a handful of trinkets.

“I feel like we as adults just kind of create competition in situations where the kids really are not as concerned about it as we think they will be,” O’Brien said.

She advised that the Tooth Fairy give an item that would seem special to the child, like a quarter from a state the family visited together. To turn the occasion away from money, she suggested bringing the conversation back to the gap in a child’s mouth and how they’re “big kids now.”

“Make it about what it’s really supposed to be about, a real marker for growing up,” O’Brien said, “and they’ll be much more excited about that than whether they feel short-changed.”

I'm not going to lie, we are a $5 per tooth family. That's the price my husband set. My daughter has lost 6 teeth this school year, and the tooth fairy is tired lol.

It was part of our money management lesson though, so it worked out. We don't spoil the kids, because we don't want to end up with entitled brats. Instead, she has to do things to earn money, and she can buy what she wants with her money.

$20 is outrageous! And gifts? The gift should be the recognition that the child is growing up.

I'm not going to lie, we are a $5 per tooth family. That's the price my husband set. My daughter has lost 6 teeth this school year, and the tooth fairy is tired lol.

It was part of our money management lesson though, so it worked out. We don't spoil the kids, because we don't want to end up with entitled brats. Instead, she has to do things to earn money, and she can buy what she wants with her money.

$20 is outrageous! And gifts? The gift should be the recognition that the child is growing up.

My kiddos get $5, a pack of sugar free gum and a note from the tooth fairy telling them that their first tooth is a special one, because it's a sign of them growing up. Each tooth thereafter gets $1. Guess I'm cheap, but I remember getting a quarter as a child.

My kiddos get $5, a pack of sugar free gum and a note from the tooth fairy telling them that their first tooth is a special one, because it's a sign of them growing up. Each tooth thereafter gets $1. Guess I'm cheap, but I remember getting a quarter as a child.

$20 for a single tooth? That's a little excessive. I think my siblings and I got $1 and I also don't remember the tooth fairy being such a big deal. I would agree that sometimes kids are given too much. My 14yo step daughter is a good example, she has everything! iPod, iPhone, wii, flat screen tv... I think it's ridiculous, my husband spoiled her so much after divorcing her mom. That being said she's not involved in anything. She's quit every sport she's ever started (don't even get me started on that) and is overall unappreciative. I guess at her age money still grows on trees. I don't want our son to grow up with everything under the sun. I don't want him to have a tv in his room so he can hide out all day. I want to play catch outside, shoot hoops, go swimming! To me, those memories mean so much more then $20. I'm rambling now but hopefully you get what I'm saying.

$20 for a single tooth? That's a little excessive. I think my siblings and I got $1 and I also don't remember the tooth fairy being such a big deal. I would agree that sometimes kids are given too much. My 14yo step daughter is a good example, she has everything! iPod, iPhone, wii, flat screen tv... I think it's ridiculous, my husband spoiled her so much after divorcing her mom. That being said she's not involved in anything. She's quit every sport she's ever started (don't even get me started on that) and is overall unappreciative. I guess at her age money still grows on trees. I don't want our son to grow up with everything under the sun. I don't want him to have a tv in his room so he can hide out all day. I want to play catch outside, shoot hoops, go swimming! To me, those memories mean so much more then $20. I'm rambling now but hopefully you get what I'm saying.

My dad used to put different kinds of coins under my pillow. Not every day coins, but special ones he'd find or go looking for them. Most of them were silver dollars, and not worth much, but I always thought they were the coolest things. I am planning on doing that with my kids. Leave them a special coin with maybe a dollar or two next to it. I think $20 is outrageous or a fancy gift for every lost tooth. I guess I could understand for the first tooth maybe to celebrate growing up, but for every single one? I don't know.

My dad used to put different kinds of coins under my pillow. Not every day coins, but special ones he'd find or go looking for them. Most of them were silver dollars, and not worth much, but I always thought they were the coolest things. I am planning on doing that with my kids. Leave them a special coin with maybe a dollar or two next to it. I think $20 is outrageous or a fancy gift for every lost tooth. I guess I could understand for the first tooth maybe to celebrate growing up, but for every single one? I don't know.

My kids will likely get a dollar per tooth. I agree this crazy desire to give your kids more of everything is getting out of hand. 2 weeks before my DS's 5th birthday, we went to his classmate's birthday party. The party was at a hall in the country club, it was planned by a party planner, had a musician who also taught the kids dance moves, make up artists doing girl's hair and make up (each girl got to take a full make up compact home), was catered with an open bar, had a three tiered cake that looked like the cake boss made it, personalized drinks for the kids, mixed CDs for each kid, and the parting gifts were around $10 in value each. We estimated that the party was between $3 and $5k. This was only a fifth birthday. We won't even try to keep up with the Joneses. We had DS's party at our house and I hand made all the decorations. The kids had a lot of fun. They didn't care that we spent less than $200. In the end I think our party was better.

My kids will likely get a dollar per tooth. I agree this crazy desire to give your kids more of everything is getting out of hand. 2 weeks before my DS's 5th birthday, we went to his classmate's birthday party. The party was at a hall in the country club, it was planned by a party planner, had a musician who also taught the kids dance moves, make up artists doing girl's hair and make up (each girl got to take a full make up compact home), was catered with an open bar, had a three tiered cake that looked like the cake boss made it, personalized drinks for the kids, mixed CDs for each kid, and the parting gifts were around $10 in value each. We estimated that the party was between $3 and $5k. This was only a fifth birthday. We won't even try to keep up with the Joneses. We had DS's party at our house and I hand made all the decorations. The kids had a lot of fun. They didn't care that we spent less than $200. In the end I think our party was better.

I remember getting $10 once as a kid. I'm pretty sure that the tooth fairy forgot to get change on her way home from work. I don't have to be the tooth fairy any time soon, but I'd guess $5 per tooth will be the norm. And I admit, I love the idea of my son getting a letter from the tooth fairy when he loses his first tooth.

I remember getting $10 once as a kid. I'm pretty sure that the tooth fairy forgot to get change on her way home from work. I don't have to be the tooth fairy any time soon, but I'd guess $5 per tooth will be the norm. And I admit, I love the idea of my son getting a letter from the tooth fairy when he loses his first tooth.

I love, love, love that idea!! Ds is only 6 months, so I have a while. We used to get a quarter from the tooth fairy and we were ecstatic. I always bought pencils from the school store with my tooth fairy money. $20 is out of control.

I love, love, love that idea!! Ds is only 6 months, so I have a while. We used to get a quarter from the tooth fairy and we were ecstatic. I always bought pencils from the school store with my tooth fairy money. $20 is out of control.

I find it very odd that a child development professor would suggest that parents have their child write to the tooth fairy to complain about getting too little. What a way to foster greed and entitlement. And then what do they do for the next tooth when the child still doesn't get a ridiculous amount of money, send more hate mail? I have to hope that the professor was misquoted or making a joke.

I find it very odd that a child development professor would suggest that parents have their child write to the tooth fairy to complain about getting too little. What a way to foster greed and entitlement. And then what do they do for the next tooth when the child still doesn't get a ridiculous amount of money, send more hate mail? I have to hope that the professor was misquoted or making a joke.

In general yes I think we are a lot more indulgent of our children. In our family we don't do tooth fairy or Santa Claus type stuff, my parents would take the whole family out to share milk shakes when we lost a tooth. I think we will probably do something similar.

In general yes I think we are a lot more indulgent of our children. In our family we don't do tooth fairy or Santa Claus type stuff, my parents would take the whole family out to share milk shakes when we lost a tooth. I think we will probably do something similar.

Growing up we got anywhere from 75 cents to 2 dollars with a 5 for the last tooth and I think thats plenty. Although I gave my kids 5 to 10 each depending on the tooth (which I think is to much). In my opinion, the Tooth Fairy isn't suppose to be buying the teeth, she's just leaving a token of appreciation.

Growing up we got anywhere from 75 cents to 2 dollars with a 5 for the last tooth and I think thats plenty. Although I gave my kids 5 to 10 each depending on the tooth (which I think is to much). In my opinion, the Tooth Fairy isn't suppose to be buying the teeth, she's just leaving a token of appreciation.

Lol that's a great way of putting it. I got $2 a tooth and my kid will probably get the same. I don't want to use money to show my kids love so I think buying them everything under the sun is excessive. My family does make a big deal about holidays and especially birthdays but not by showering with gifts. Instead it's about making them feel special and spending time together. We do a lot with food too but I think that's a cultural thing.

Lol that's a great way of putting it. I got $2 a tooth and my kid will probably get the same. I don't want to use money to show my kids love so I think buying them everything under the sun is excessive. My family does make a big deal about holidays and especially birthdays but not by showering with gifts. Instead it's about making them feel special and spending time together. We do a lot with food too but I think that's a cultural thing.

You know, my parents didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up. I got $0.25 per tooth. I don't ever remember discussing with my friends how much they got and getting all jerked off because they got more than me. Seriously? This is actually considered an issue? Are kids that materialistic and spoiled that this even matters? Crap on a stick that's sad.

You know, my parents didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up. I got $0.25 per tooth. I don't ever remember discussing with my friends how much they got and getting all jerked off because they got more than me. Seriously? This is actually considered an issue? Are kids that materialistic and spoiled that this even matters? Crap on a stick that's sad.

I find it very odd that a child development professor would suggest that parents have their child write to the tooth fairy to complain about getting too little. What a way to foster greed and entitlement. And then what do they do for the next tooth when the child still doesn't get a ridiculous amount of money, send more hate mail? I have to hope that the professor was misquoted or making a joke.

Me too. Where is the gratitude? When receiving a gift, we say thank you, not why didn't I get more. What kind of lesson is that teaching the child. Imagine Grandma gives clothes at the kid's next birthday - does Jr write Grandma a letter and say I wanted a Wii game instead?

I find it very odd that a child development professor would suggest that parents have their child write to the tooth fairy to complain about getting too little. What a way to foster greed and entitlement. And then what do they do for the next tooth when the child still doesn't get a ridiculous amount of money, send more hate mail? I have to hope that the professor was misquoted or making a joke.

Me too. Where is the gratitude? When receiving a gift, we say thank you, not why didn't I get more. What kind of lesson is that teaching the child. Imagine Grandma gives clothes at the kid's next birthday - does Jr write Grandma a letter and say I wanted a Wii game instead?

Fack no! These are tough economic times, the tooth fairy is broke. The kids get 1-2 dollars a tooth sometimes 10-20 dimes to make it seem like a lot. Last tooth she lost the tooth fairy didn't have money so she received an American dollar bill (we are Canadian) she was one disappointed girl she thought the tooth fairy played a joke on her. I ended up trading her and then she gave the money to her friend, thank goodness she didn't have a $20. The amount of money that parents are expected to spend is getting ridiculous. We have Easter, Christmas, mothers day, fathers day, Canada day or fourth of July, birthdays. My daughter is sometimes invited to 4 birthdays a month, at 20-30 dollars a gift that can be over a 100 a month and I have 3 kids.

Fack no! These are tough economic times, the tooth fairy is broke. The kids get 1-2 dollars a tooth sometimes 10-20 dimes to make it seem like a lot. Last tooth she lost the tooth fairy didn't have money so she received an American dollar bill (we are Canadian) she was one disappointed girl she thought the tooth fairy played a joke on her. I ended up trading her and then she gave the money to her friend, thank goodness she didn't have a $20. The amount of money that parents are expected to spend is getting ridiculous. We have Easter, Christmas, mothers day, fathers day, Canada day or fourth of July, birthdays. My daughter is sometimes invited to 4 birthdays a month, at 20-30 dollars a gift that can be over a 100 a month and I have 3 kids.

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