Don't Be a Bulbasaur

At first blush, the trading card phenomenon Pokémon might seem like it's just for kids. All of your adult sensibilities will cause you to roll your eyes when you hear the word Squirtle, which of course is a kind of Pokémon that looks like a turtle and squirts liquid at attackers. But if you look closely at some of these strange, made-up creatures, you'll begin to realize that maybe the massively popular card game isnt just for kids. Look at the Jigglypuff: It's a Pokémon that lulls its victims to sleep with song before whipping out a magic marker and writing all over their faces. We've seen this before, adults. Jigglypuff is a fucking frat boy! So while you may or may not be playing yourself, you're likely to have plenty to chuckle over when you take your son/daughter/younger sibling to this Saturdays Miami Pokémon Championship. The free-to-enter tourney will pit card players half your age against each other in calculated combat. Watch as they use their decks, composed of a strategic selection of trainer and monster cards, to annihilate Pokémon like Mewtwo and Marowak on their way to glory. At the end of the day, the top Pokémon wrangler will pull down a City Championship medal, 18 booster packs, and ranking points that can qualify them for the world tournament held annually in San Diego. And who knows  maybe you'll find yourself trying to "catch them all" too before the tourney is over. The 10:30 a.m. "squirtling" takes place at Outland Station Comic Shop, 12540 SW 120th St., Miami. To register, send an e-mail to Heidi Craig at hid22@aol.com, or visit www.floridapokemon.com. Sat., Jan. 3, 2009