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Thursday, October 16, 2014

I'm back after over a year without a post. I can't say how disappointing this world really is. Ebola. Isis. Baseball. Women. Annoying people. Long silences.

This is my life and world and it all needs to change for the better. Considering I did try to kill myself two times in the past year I would have to say I have improved since then. I'm relatively happy. I have a warm, comforting home with a nice bed, food, clothing and schooling. I am losing motivation and sleep. I never will tell what to do. I hate rumors and fake stuff. That is why I stay to small groups of friends and don't go mainstream. I get enough stupid fucking lies about me and I'm not even known by so many. I hope, someday I can stop worrying. I just need someone I can talk to all day and just have fun and talk about my dozen problems instead of keep them in until they come out when I am enraged.

Which leads me to my next question. Would people actually care if I died?
I would hope so. But at the same time nobody gives a fuck when I'm alive what makes them care when I'm dead. That's the central problem I think nobody gives a shit. They should. When something good happens you should applaud that person and congratulate them. When someone is going through a rough stretch help them get through it and help them enjoy life.

God help me as I sleep and please help those who need help (including me). But really we are all sinful and deserve death. You can take me out of this world because you brought me in. Be with me and those who are sick, injured or distressed and give me love. Amen.