Balpreet Kaur's picture, which was posted on Reddit, with the tagline 'I'm not sure what to conclude from this'. Photograph: imgur

Recently, my photograph was unknowingly taken while waiting in a queue, and later posted on Reddit under the subject "I'm not sure what to conclude from this". Now, I understand that being a baptised Sikh woman with facial hair might confuse some people. But I choose not to change my appearance because, in accordance with the Sikh tradition, I view my body as a gift from the Divine, as a tool for service, as a temple for my spirit.

I am well aware of how I am perceived by others: is she a man? A bearded woman? Transgendered? These perceptions find their roots both in simple curiosity and ignorance of the sheer diversity of the human race. I cannot stop people from forming convoluted first impressions based on what I look like, but I can stop them from turning that ignorance into misplaced assumptions or even hatred. This is why, having been alerted to the posting of the photo, I replied in the thread, and engaged with the posters discussing my appearance. What I learned from this experience is that building bridges between people isn't really that hard: an honest conversation, a simple exchange of meaningful words that make up our lives, can change people's opinions and change the world for the better – one step at a time.

JK Rowling's new book, Casual Vacancy, perhaps aimed to do just that. Her novel, which features a Sikh family and portrays them in a realistic way, required her to do extensive research into my faith. And with the attention that Casual Vacancy has been getting comes the chance to start a dialogue and open our minds and hearts to stories of people different than us, people we did not know about before, people, who, at a second glance, are just like us. Unfortunately, the novel enraged Sikh leaders in India, where it is currently the subject of protests over Rowling's portrayal of a Sikh girl teased for her body hair.

I hope those protests do not escalate. Violence and anger will only tarnish the image of peace-loving Sikhs, who in the past have only raised their swords when all other avenues have failed. Rowling's character sheds light on to a reality that the Sikh nation is still struggling to fully understand, acknowledge and accept: a reality of bullying, and superficial impressions. Why can't we, as a Sikh nation, write our own narratives and read them to the world through our actions, instead of protesting against the perceptions of the outside world?

This is why I have no problem with Rowling's description of a female Sikh being labelled as "mustachioed, yet large-mammaried" on page 120. Why? Because that's how most people perceive me. How I react to these perceptions defines my character, not the opinions themselves. I am a contradiction, at least physically, but I'm no different than any other college student – working hard to get into medical school to achieve our dreams.

So, have faith in our nation, Akal Takht. We Kaurs are strong enough to know that these words do not define us, but our actions and reactions do.

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