This asshole just hates it that his precious holy book doesn't say what he wants it to say, doesn't he? Instead of reading the damn thing and taking it to heart, though, he'll just re-write it to suit himself. Disgusting.

1 "You are not to repeat false rumors; do not join hands with the wicked by offering perjured testimony. 2 Do not follow the crowd when it does what is wrong; and don't allow the popular view to sway you into offering testimony for any cause if the effect will be to pervert justice. 3 On the other hand, don't favor a person's lawsuit simply because he is poor. 4 "If you come upon your enemy's ox or donkey straying, you must return it to him. 5 If you see the donkey which belongs to someone who hates you lying down helpless under its load, you are not to pass him by but to go and help him free it. 6 "Do not deny anyone justice in his lawsuit simply because he is poor. 7 Keep away from fraud, and do not cause the death of the innocent and righteous; for I will not justify the wicked. 8 You are not to receive a bribe, for a bribe blinds the clearsighted and subverts the cause of the righteous. 9 "You are not to oppress a foreigner, for you know how a foreigner feels, since you were foreigners in the land of Egypt.

"Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations."

So? Just ignore it like you do all the other parts you don't like. For instance, where Jesus tells you to sell everything you own and give the money to the poor because god will provide for you. Or where the Apostles all communally share what little they do own between them. Or where Jesus heals the sick and doesn't turn around and charge them for it and all the parts where he hangs out with tax collectors and prostitutes without judging them.

You know, the entire part of the Bible that your religion is based on. Just ignore that and focus on the OT instead. Don't worry, you can ignore inconvenient "liberal" parts of that too like not eating shellfish or cutting your beard or owning slaves (damned liberal government went and made that illegal) and so on.

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:[2]

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

Because what American Conservatives consider 'liberals' conveys the actual meaning of the word liberal, right?

2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

Are you saying that the bible has been castrated or that you think men are above women in God's eyes?

3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]

Yeah, because fundies can read above that level...

4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms to capture better the original intent;[4] Defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words that have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".

So distortion is fine as long as your personal preferences are highlighted? Comrade isn't synonymous with volunteer, fuckjob.

5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census

Now I don't want to delve deeply into etymology here...

6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

Or dismiss logic altogether and talk of something that has little value as a concept and which you have no way of being able to describe by its very nature (ie happening after you die)

Yeah, don't sell everything you own because God will cater for you is one of the foremost tenets of the free market

8. Exclude Later-Inserted Inauthentic Passages: excluding the interpolated passages that liberals commonly put their own spin on, such as the adulteress story

Er...

9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

Recorded history fail.

10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

Don't want to give the impression that there's more than one God in the bible, do we...

@ #1040246 Clown:
> Is there a point there somewhere? Yeah, the bible is full of shit, but is there some other point in there?

His point is that he wholeheartedly believes everything in the Bible. Except for those parts that are obviously work of the insidious Liberals.

Or to put it other way: All those positive, nice, beautiful, uplifting, non-shitty parts in the Bible are Liberal, and he wants to defend the fire-and-brimstone crush-the-infidel-infants shitty parts, which are not Liberal, quite the contrary.

I nominate Andy Shitty, er Shlafly, for the "honorary Taliban" award.
This prestigious award is given each year for the Christian or Jew (no Hindus or Buddhists need apply) whose work exemplifies what the Taliban was trying to accomplish in Afghanistan, and whose ideas if taken to their -- illogical -- extremes, would create the same type of government in America.

Oh, and I nominate Andy's mom for the "honorary Taliban lifetime achievement award."