The buyer hated the seller. The seller detested both her buyer and her attorney. The bank attorney had a hacking cough and was pissed that he was working rather than home in bed.

The title closer made ten calls in an hour just to figure out an escrow, while the stink coming from the bathroom less than four feet behind me was stronger than the Lysol sprayed in an apparent cover-up attempt.

When we walked out of the closing, the buyer asked me if every closing was like this one. I smiled and said, “Yes, more or less.”