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Having to change schools can be difficult. Everything’s different, and you don't know where to go for your own classes. Making new friends can be hard, too, because everyone else might already have their own cliques or friend groups. However, don't despair: you can integrate into your new environment! You’ll have an easier time making friends once you find your confidence, stay approachable and get involved.

Steps

Part 1

Finding Your Confidence

1

Take a deep breath and relax. Try not to be nervous. Remember that you’re not the only one looking for new friends. Depending on when you arrive at your new school, some cliques may have already formed, but there’ll be others just like you who are looking for new friends. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.[1]

You might have fewer friends at your new school than you did at your old school, and that’s ok. As life goes on, there are peaks and valleys in social popularity and it isn’t your fault.

2

Be yourself. Never change who you are to try to fit in. If your friends don't accept you for you, they're not really friends. Most people belong with a certain clique simply because they are being themselves and their unique personalities and interests falls into that stereotype.

For example, someone who is naturally athletic may become a jock in high school while someone who is naturally artistic will fit in with other artistic students.

3

Wear your favorite outfit. Clothes are a big part of image and self-confidence. Instead of trying to wear an outfit you think will impress people, focus on wearing clothes you like. They’ll give people an idea of your personality, but more importantly you’ll feel comfortable in your own skin.[2]

If your school has a uniform, try and see if there are ways to make it fit your style. Many schools will give you a choice of outfits, or you can try and wear a pin that reflects your style.

4

Visualize your goal. As you work to become more confident, it’s important to change your mindset. Instead of worrying about not finding friends, picture yourself succeeding and meeting new people. Recognize all the small successes along the way, such as talking to someone new and enjoying the conversation.[3]

5

Take some time to reflect on your qualities. You’ll have an easier time making friends if you see yourself as a worthy friend. Write down some positive things about yourself, and keep the list somewhere handy so you can refer to it anytime you’re feeling less confident.

A fun trick you can use for this is to think of your favorite celebrities. Write down qualities that both you and them possess; it’ll help you carry yourself more confidently.[4]

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Part 1 Quiz

What's the best way to build your confidence at a new school?

Compare yourself to other new students.

Definitely not! While it can be beneficial to think about the similarities between yourself and other people, do not compare yourself with others. You are special and unique, and you’ll make the best friends by just being yourself! Try again...

Picture yourself having lots of friends and being happy in your new school.

Exactly! Instead of worrying about how you don’t have any friends, picture what it will look like when you make friends. It might take time, but don’t lose confidence in yourself! Read on for another quiz question.

Identify the different social groups at your new school.

Not necessarily! Your school is probably full of different types of groups, but let yourself become a part of the group that best fits your interests. Don’t make yourself fit into a group that you don’t really like or enjoy. There’s a better option out there!

Remember how you made friends at your last school.

Not quite! While you might have had more friends at you old school than you do at your new school, not every social situation will be the same. Your friends at your new school might be completely different than your friends at your old school- and that’s okay! Pick another answer!

Part 2

Being Approachable

1

Smile. This goes a long way to making you seem more approachable. When you walk in the halls, don't hunch over your books or keep your eyes on the floor. Hold your head up and make eye contact with other people. If you see someone you know, give them a smile and say hi.[5]

2

Ask a question. Obviously you’ll want to introduce yourself and tell people a little bit about yourself. However, if you ask questions about people, they’ll feel like you’re more interested in them, which is a sign of a good friend.

You can also ask questions to start a conversation, like "How's the cafeteria food around here?" or "How long have you gone to this school?"

Use questions to compliment people as you start the conversation: "I love your shoes, where did you get them?"[6]

3

Do something nice for someone. Save someone a seat. Say "hi" in the hall. Give congratulations for a job well done. Pay a compliment: "I love your shoes/backpack." It can work wonders.

4

Don’t force it. Even if you try your best to be kind and approachable, not everyone will want to be your friend. They’ll have their own reasons; it can be as simple as not having common interests. If you get the feeling someone doesn’t want to be your friend, or they tell you outright, don’t try to pursue them. You can’t force them to be your friend.[7]

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Part 2 Quiz

What is a good question to ask someone at your new school if you're trying to make friends?

What is the worst part about this school?

Nope! Try to focus on the positive parts about your new school and your potential new friends. You can certainly ask about the best parts, though! Guess again!

Where is the cafeteria?

Not quite! While it’s a good idea to ask questions if you need information, if you are trying to start a conversation with a new friend, try to ask something a little more interesting with more potential for an independent response. Click on another answer to find the right one...

How are the lunches here?

Absolutely! This is a great question to begin a conversation with a new friend. The question gives them the ability to share their opinion but is not too personal for a first conversation. Read on for another quiz question.

Will you be my friend?

Not exactly! Try to develop a friendship organically by sharing information about yourself and asking questions about the other person. Not everyone will want to be your friend- and that’s okay! There’s a better option out there!

Part 3

Getting Involved

1

Make the first move. Anywhere, such as near your locker or at the water fountain, you can find someone that has things in common with you, all you need is to know how to approach them. Strike up a conversation, smile and compliment them, and, of course, introduce yourself and tell them where you came from! You never know where you can find a nice friend.

Since you’re new, people are likely going to be curious about you and will be more open to talking with you. Take advantage of this.[8]

2

Join after school activities, such as a club or play.. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a club, the theatre group or a sports team. It’ll give you the chance to meet new people that you’ll see regularly, two things that encourage the formation of new friendships. On top of that, joining extra-curricular activities means you’ll find others who enjoy the things you do more easily.

You can also use this opportunity to try new things you might not have wanted to do at your old school. A new school is a chance to reinvent yourself, so don’t be afraid to try new things![9]

3

Look for other people who are new to the school. You're probably not the only one and at the very least, you'll have one thing in common: you're both in an unfamiliar environment. Since being new is something that you all have in common, making new friends shouldn't be that hard. Talk about your old school, your new school, your opinions, grades, teachers, and you’re bound to find something in common.

4

Try to sit in the middle of the classroom. You’ll be noticed more there than at the front or the back of the class. You’ll have an easier time making conversation with people, and are more likely to be paired up with a variety of people for group projects.

5

Give it time. You might not necessarily make friends on your first day at your new school, and that’s ok. Building friendships takes time, and you need to find the right people as well. As long as you don’t give up, you’ll eventually find people you can call your friends.[10]

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Part 3 Quiz

What is an easy way to meet people at your new school?

Join new clubs and extracurricular activities.

Yep! Try out new activities- a combination of familiar activities and new activities can be the perfect way to get comfortable in a new place while learning new skills and games. This will help you meet new people and make new friends in a safe environment. Read on for another quiz question.

Stand in the hallway and introduce yourself to people walking by.

Not necessarily! You can certainly meet people in the hallway, but unless you have a strong and confident personality, it might be uncomfortable to stand in the hallway and introduce yourself to random people. There are better ways to meet people at school! There’s a better option out there!

Ask your teacher to introduce you to other people.

Not quite! The classroom can be a good way to meet new people in your school, but if you are able to meet other students in different environments your friendships are likely to last longer than just the class period. Guess again!

Wait until later in the year to try and make friends.

Nope! Although it might take time to make good friends at your new school, you don’t have to wait until late in the year to make friends. Jump right in! Pick another answer!

Community Q&A

Search

Question

This was helpful, but I still need help starting a conversation when I'm really shy.

Community Answer

Try sitting a couple seats away from someone who looks nice, but not so close that it looks like you're crashing a group of friends. Smile at them and see if they start a conversation.

Video.

By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube.

Tips

Don't listen to gossip or rumors about other people. Get to know them yourself and learn who they really are, not what others think of them.

Remembering someone’s name after your first encounter will show that you’re interested in knowing them. Don’t worry if you forget though, just ask nicely and do your best to remember after they tell you again.

Try to find someone who is sitting alone at lunch and introduce yourself. Trying to break into someone's group of friends can be seen as invasive and annoying, whereas someone alone won't have anything else to do but talk. If you enjoy their company, invite them to your house after school or get their number. Make sure not to sound desperate, though.

If someone is being bullied, stand up for them! It might help for others to know that you can be trusted, and they might stand up for you one day too!

When you are looking for a friend make sure they are nice and in common with you. Don't be their friend just because they are rich or something. If you are going to have a happy life you will need a true friend sticking with you like glue.

Talk about common interests, ask for help like borrowing notes, or showing you the way to the washroom. As simple as that.

Humor is golden. Tell jokes, but make sure they aren’t mean and/or degrading to others. That's not the way you should make friends.

If you don't have the courage to ask someone to do something over the weekend, just go to a basketball or football game and hang out there. Then they'll know you're fun to hang out with and maybe even invite you to another event.

If you're really having trouble or are feeling depressed, then get some help. A little bit of counseling can make you feel ten times better and can improve your self-confidence and social skills.

Your guidance counselors and teachers will be more than happy to introduce you to other students in your class.

Warnings

Keep your family and old friends close. Maybe even try to make some friends out of school so that you have someone to talk to.

To make friends at a new school, act approachable in the hallways by smiling and making eye contact with other students. You could also try joining an after school club or sports activity to meet people with likeminded interests. Additionally, when you’re in class, try to sit in the middle as you’ll be noticed more there, which could result in more people talking to you. If you see someone nearby at the lockers or water fountain, try striking up a conversation by asking a question and briefly introducing yourself. To learn more ways to make friends, like how to ask questions that show people you're interested in them, keep reading!

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Co-authors: 248

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DM

Desiree May

Aug 23, 2016

"It was the tips and the steps that helped most. Like, I use to let everyone change me that's why I did not have any friends. This also helps me for this year to be myself, and if they don't like me the way I am then they're not my real friends."..." more

BC

Betty Chen

Feb 28, 2017

"The most helpful tips were that friendship is found when you be yourself and be comfortable and happy, teamwork is very important when building a true friendship and a real friend wouldn't pressure you into doing something you don't want to do."..." more

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Narian

Aug 8, 2017

"I am starting at a new school in a week or so, and I was so nervous that nobody would like me and I would have to be all alone in the following three years. But this reminded me of how I shall not worry, all I must do is be myself."..." more

E

Ella

Nov 8, 2017

"New activities or clubs helped me the most because I am the best at art in my class and I want to join the art club. However, I don't think anyone will be my friend, but I am very friendly; maybe my school is not the friendliest."..." more

JM

Jasmin Mejicanos

Aug 6, 2017

"I'm starting school tomorrow, a new chapter, and I'm a little nervous, but I know everything will be fine. I come from a different city, I'm going to be a freshman, and this really helped a lot."..." more

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Alga Lion

Jun 17, 2016

"I'm going through a huge move. All my life, 13 years, I lived in the same house in Wisconsin. Now we're leaving for Arizona. I do think this will help me make friends."..." more

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D. P.

Jul 31, 2017

"This was very helpful! I'll go to a new school in two weeks and I'm very anxious, because I'm very shy, but this made me more confident for the first day! :)"..." more

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Alex Potter

Sep 5, 2017

"I'm starting a new school tomorrow, and I have a tendency to be a bit unsociable, especially with new people. This has really helped me."..." more

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Ellie Claire

Nov 24, 2017

"On Monday I am going to a new school in a new state, and I haven't needed to make new friends since kindergarten. This really helped me!"..." more

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Allison Simmons

Mar 19, 2017

"When I was at my old school, I used to get bullied all the time. Every single class I go to has a lot of bullies. That's why I am here."..." more

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Savannah Hansford

Nov 19, 2017

"I think letting us know to be confident and to be ourselves is key because it made me think that true friends can handle my true self!"..." more

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Baraa Al assi

Jul 19, 2017

"I am still on summer vacation, but I took an important thing from the article. I shouldn't change my self for someone else. Thanks! "..." more

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Eden Rudkin

Nov 3, 2017

"some of these tips really helped, I will use them when I move into my new school/house, especially since I have social anxiety! "..." more

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Ellie Greenberg

Aug 26, 2017

"This helped me to realize the importance of being confident and smiling, saying hi and overall being friendly towards others."..." more

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Fathimmath Shibla

Jun 6, 2016

"I liked the tip which started something like this: "Don't worry if you didn't make new friends in the first day itself.""..." more

Latifa Allahverdiyeva

Sep 7, 2017

"This article helped me making new friends and some of the steps I use not only at school, but all the time! Good job!"..." more

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Kylah Fort

Jul 25, 2017

"Oh my gosh this article helped make so many friends at my school and they all love me for the way they met me."

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Alyssa Koz

Jun 28, 2017

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Mia Davis

Jan 27, 2017

"I am new at school and have been there for 4 days. This has helped me in being confident to find friends."

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Aisha Omar

Dec 5, 2017

"This was really helpful. I almost made friends with my whole class. I would like to say a big THANK YOU!!!"

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Emily Batcher

Aug 6, 2017

"This helped so much! I was moving to a new school and I've made a group of four friends in the first week!"

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Miliani Leopoldo

Nov 14, 2016

"This helps by putting this in your heart and mind, and I never knew this would work. It helped me."

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Riley Desceaser

Jan 24, 2017

"This article helped me, because now I have a friend and am able to communicate with others better."

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Melisa Canales

Jul 15, 2017

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Minya Taylis

Dec 11, 2017

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Anonymous

Oct 20, 2017

"It really helped me when I used some of these and I made new friends. Thank you so much! "

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Evany Salinas Flores

Jun 6, 2016

"I liked the tip about making a friend, but not bossing them around. It really helped."

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Jules Ponder

Jul 12, 2016

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Elena Gilbert

Sep 11, 2017

"Evreything helped me a lot. I am starting school next week and I'll try my best."

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Tamia Maasdorp

Jan 4, 2018

"Now I know that I should keep calm and just go with the flow and be myself."