That’s a relief. For a moment I thought I was going to have to adjudicate my Father’s heterosexual style of parenting. My Mother left him with a kipper injury in response to all the unmerited praise he’s been getting lately.

But you still love and cherish the Tooth Fairy and acknowledge its right to love other Tooth Fairies, right? Wait, is there more than one Tooth Fairy? There must’ve been. And maybe you just wrote to the wrong Santa.