Some Thoughts about getting Tough...

I spent decade of 1990s in law enforcement. I was a police officer in Tulsa, OK until 2003 when I retired. As a police officer, I spent 1990s learning pros and cons of Community Policing. The term essentially defines policing by a proactive means, getting to root cause of crime problem and solving it by enlisting help of all community resources—neighborhoods, schools, community service agencies, churches, politicians, and media.

Policing is still undergoing transformation from reactive policing—running from call to call without getting to heart of crime problem—to a proactive, community policing. To this day policing philosophies weigh in heavily toward one or other. On one hand it's community policing and on other it's old fashion policing—catch them, lock ‘em up, and get back on streets. Both philosophies have strong and weak points, but usually Community Policing generates most heated discussion. Why? Because it gives appearance that law enforcement personnel are soft on crime and cops don’t want to be perceived as being soft, but tough.

Does toughness in law enforcement work to reduce crime? Let’s look at some of current research. Again I quote heavily from Mona Charen’s book, Do-Gooders (Sentinel 2004). She has done her home work and is to be commended for her fine read. Says Mona, “Thanks to self-described do-gooders, America went on a compassion binge in 1960s. The compassion was extended toward poor and minorities; unfortunately, among prime beneficiaries of this tenderness were violent criminals who would go on to terrorize very poor neighborhoods whose well-being liberals supposedly sought.

“An early signal of sixties’ laxity could be found in statistics on punishment. In 1950, expected punishment for murder and negligent manslaughter was 2.3 years in prison. By 1970, this had dropped to 1.7 years. Liberal academics and public intellectuals persuaded nation that we needed to address “root causes” of crime such as poverty and injustice.”

Top 5 To Dos Before Saying “I do”

Written by by Jennifer Coleman, M.S./ Ed.S., N.C.C., Rosen Divorce

Today, nearly half of all marriages don't last. Everyday I work with couples going through a divorce, many times over preventable conflicts. I’ve learned about what needs to be discussed before making a life-long commitment. If you’re planning to get married this spring, here are a few things to do before you say I do. 1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of your biggest life-altering decisions. Ask yourself why now and why with this person? You should be able to answer this in an affirming and positive way. The relationship should not be reactive to fill an empty space in your life, perhaps a past relationship, a surprise pregnancy, or absence of family. Lots of people go into a relationship still having baggage from a previous one. If you deal with your previous relationship losses successfully, they won’t come to haunt you or your future spouse later on. Also, keep in mind that opposites attract, but they are really hard to live with. The more in common you have with your spouse, more likely relationship will last.

2. DO discuss having children and if this is something as a couple you want to do. Also, discuss about how many children you’ll plan to have and when you’ll have them. What parenting practices will you adopt to raise your children? Who will stay at home or will both parties work? You should also define parenting roles as individuals and as a couple.

3. DO create a financial plan together. A lot of times people avoid talking about this, but you need to define financial goals and expectations beforehand. Don’t just know how much your future spouse makes, but know whole picture. Who will be in charge of balancing checkbook? Will you join your accounts or will they be separate? What are your top financial goals together? People have different spending habits and different financial styles that are often influenced by family. What happens if one spouse starts spending excessively? How will this be handled? Speak with a financial planner and retain one together.

4. DO compare personal goals versus goals as a couple and obstacles that may arise. If one party wants to move to California for a job promotion and other desires to live near family in Florida, that’s something to discuss now. How will you as a couple make life-altering decisions on which you may not agree? Surely, not all your goals will match that of your partner, but there needs to be decision-making beforehand on how to handle these differences. If one party longs to have children shortly after marrying, while other wants to wait to start a family and hopes to attend graduate school, this could create tension in marriage and lead down road to separation or divorce.