How To Heal Family Relationships

The Holidays are here and families are coming together. It can be incredibly beautiful and/or incredibly painful. Family dynamics can bring out the best and worst in us. No one can push our buttons like the people that know us best…our family.

No matter how wonderful or disastrous our families are, I do believe that at some point in our lives, we have to break away and find out who we are as an individual. We can always better understand what we were in, when we step out of it. We can then look at things objectively.

In this video, I provide some tools to help you understand your family dynamics and heal yourself. Once we take the steps to heal ourselves we are able to attract better people and things into our life.
Please leave your comments! We want to know what you think 🙂

The way I see it, if you’re in a toxic feedback loop, get the hell out.
There is no way you can properly look at your situation objectively until
you have a time out… it’s like writing a story, essay or letter. You
don’t know what went wrong until you go back and reread it later.

My parents are basically opposites. My father seems to have no real
emotional spectrum, parenting skills or empathy. Instead, he throws
whatever money he can at the problem, and uses that as grounds for his
authority. He attempts to discipline me through fear and intimidation,
which doesn’t work particularly well, because every time I can feel myself
caring less about his company and existence. My mother on the other hand,
is rubbish with discipline… which definitely reflects with our dogs
(they’re little devils). She makes up for her flaws by being an incredible
parent, she’s there for you, she supports your decisions, praises your
accomplishments and plans days out. She will actually talk to you about
things, lets you confide in her, and she will also confide in you, she
treats you as an equal, but weirdly and paradoxically, as if you’re wildly
dependant upon her… which is infuriating or amazing, depending on what
situation you’re in. So that’s my dysfunctional family.

(You can tell this is going to be about my dad)

The more he is angry with me, the more I recoil from him… which means
it’s more likely he will be angry when I am around him, which means I will
recoil more, and the cycle continues. Don’t get me wrong, my dad has his
moments. I hear him laughing with my mum, not chuckling but actual LOL
laughter. He can also be amazing conversation when he wants to… however,
when i’m around, these moments are few and far between.

I’ve made my peace with it, i’ve given up any interest in trying to wrestle
against it, so i’m just going to avoid him. Soon I will move 200 miles away
when I go to university, after that I will likely work in that area, and
settle down soon after. He will likely try to spin my uni degree, my work
and my family as a success story of his, as my sister hasn’t been the most
successful. She likely partying, going out and spending money, and he
rarely has a go at her, regardless of her misconducts. She’s not afraid to
fight back, and he would never physically overpower her, like he’s done to
me.

Well, I guess in some ways I haven’t made my peace with it. Every now and
then it annoys me, and with this being the topic, it’s hard not to become
emotionally invested in it. However, after this, I will likely go back to
normal thoughts within a couple of minutes. I guess what i’ve written makes
me sound cold and heartless, which I guess has it’s merits, but this is
something i’ve inherited from him, plus a result of his behaviour. I’m
content with thinking this way, perhaps consciously changing it when I want
to, however, I would rather die than find myself behaving this way towards
my children.

While I’ve never heard your name, I have to say you really are quite good.
Your very cute, you have great things to say, smooth verbal presentation
and you have great video editing skills. I’m really surprised YouTube as a
whole hasn’t picked up on you just yet. Your channel should be over a
million views easily. The family tips here of recognition of your families
deficiencies and forgiveness for unspoken apologies are bang on. I know I
have to learn this myself being the oldest in a family of nine. I also
recognize where I’ve fallen short and need to make my own apologies. Keep
up your great work I always look forward to your videos. Jake

2:01 I would have phrased that differently, “What *can* I learn from this
experience?”

To use a metaphor: Sometimes you can heal, but there will always be a scar.

Consider victims of child abuse.. I was one of them. You can forgive, you
can heal yourself, but only to a point. That kind of torture will break
anyone, and once you’re broken there’s no putting you back together again.

Thanks for leading me here! I think you offer great advice. I too don’t
understand why you don’t have more views, but that will come. Within the
last two years I’ve received theta healings from two community healers
which help with family ” problems” and so much more! Like fixing hidden
beliefs that no longer serve you. Also if you haven’t heard of Teal Swan I
highly suggest you check out her videos. She’s pretty popular on youtube
and is all about raising human consciousness. Love and light to you!

Great video once again :-). I currently have an issue with my older sister.
She is unhappy and bullying me on facebook about my decision this Christmas
to only buy for the children and not the adults which includes her 24 your
old daughter who is my niece. It was my sister’s suggestion in the first
place to only buy for the kids. I just agreed with her and included her
daughter as an ‘adult’. However she still believes her 24 year old daughter
is a ‘kid’ and my sister gives presents to all of our family on behalf of
herself, her husband, her 17 year old son (my niece) and her 24 year old
daughter who has a well paid job, lives on her own, and hardly ever
acknowledges other family members or wishes them Happy Birthday herself or
anything. My sister, by doing what she does, kind of absolves my niece of
doing so and I have brought this up with my sister before and got a very
cool response. So…if I stick to my guns there will be World War 3 however
I do not wish to back down just to avoid my sister’s wrath. This is how I
feel and I am entitled to my view. We all feel and view things differently.
Oh well…I am currently avoiding answering my sister’s antagonistic
questioning on facebook. Her last message to me was ‘Awaiting your
response…’..well… she knows my views. She may be waiting awhile. I’m
not getting into it with her. It’s not worth it. I will do as I feel right.
I’m sorry if she disagrees and does not like it. Actually that’s not true.
I’m not sorry. It just is. Next what will happen is that my Mother will
get all upset and tell me to just back down to avoid controversy as she
hates any type of conflict and just wants everybody to get on and be ‘nice’
to each other. Her tactic is to try and emotionally blackmail me saying
that it will spoil her Christmas if my sister and I fall out and she would
do anything to have had a sister as she was an only child etc, and
rah-de-rah-de-rah. Then it will eventuate that becasue I don’t back down
‘I’ am the trouble-maker, the one in the wrong etc. It’s always been this
way. However, no matter what happens, everyone is welcome to my place this
Christmas and my son and I are going to have a wonderful day with many
yummy foodie treats and will go for a walk down the beach in the evening
after the day is done and I will look forward to seeing whoever turns up
and welcome them with open arms and an open heart. There is no reason not
to or to hold any grudges. Iam quite happy to agree to disagree. I will be
catching up with some friends who live a wee way away a day or two before
Christmas as they are having a small get-together of good friends, and that
will be my lot. I’m looking forward to Christmas regardless of any family
issues or dynamics that come up becasue I will not let it be spoilt by
others. I wish you all a Merry Christmas also 🙂

Thanks for the invite. I’m not forgiving anyone until I see the bodies. He,
he – just kidding. But I think a very important thing to realize it that
some people have deep wounds when it comes to forgiveness in all forms. I
always say, forgiveness is a “selfish” act. You’re doing it for yourself
not for the other person. Depending on the situation, you don’t HAVE to
become best friends with the one you forgive – in fact I think one can
still have a healthy dislike towards the person and at the same time
forgive. I know it probably sounds like an oxymoron, but for people who
went through real trauma, I think they need to realize that forgiveness
doesn’t mean for you to betray your own feelings. But this is just for
extreme cases or extreme people. But I think once people realize, like I
say, that forgiveness is a selfish act, it will not be so difficult to do
so anymore. Be well

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About Giovanna

I’m a girl who believes in living her wildest dreams. Traveling the globe in search of my true nature. My goal is to inspire other women to step out of their comfort zones and go on an adventure to find their authentic self.