The Boondocks (comic strip)

The Boondocks is a daily comic strip written and originally drawn by Aaron McGruder. Created by McGruder in 1997 for The Diamondback, the student newspaper at the University of Maryland, College Park, the comic strip was picked up by the Universal Press Syndicate in 1999 and made its national debut on April 19 of that year.

Huey: Riley, we're not in Chicago anymore... These people are well-off... comfortable. These are not the hard streets of the South Side. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Riley: I think so. I'm the hardest, baddest thing for miles, and I can run amok here without fear.

Huey: No. Let me try this again...

Huey: Ok Jazmine, if you're not Black, then what are you, Hmmm?

Jazmine: Well, let's see... My mother is one-quarter Irish, one-quarter Swedish, and one-half German. And my grandmother on my father's side is part Cherokee, and my grandfather is mostly French, I think, because he's originally from Louisiana, and his father was from Haiti, I believe, which makes me...

Sarah: Honey, we bought this house on the corner of Gurgling Brook and Blushing Dove, right?

Tom: Of course, why?

Sarah: Because now it's on the corner of Wu-Tang Drive and Buckshot Avenue.

Tom: Huey or Riley?

Sarah: Riley. Will you talk to him, or should I fill out a change-of-address form?

Huey: Still practicing your "Thug Mug"?

Riley: Hey, "Keepin' it Real" is hard work when you're cursed with cuteness...

Huey: I'm sick of women singing about broke men, sick of men singing about loose women, sick of award shows, sick of name-brand clothes... From this moment on, I stand as the antithesis of Black popular culture!! I am the Anti-Cool! I hereby declare myself... A NERD!

Riley: Word?! You? A Nerd?! Speaking of shockers, I just found out that Wesley Snipes is Black! Really! So is Isaac Hayes! And Ray Charlesstill can't see!! Can you believe it? Oh yeah, and I hear Bill Clinton really loves the ladies.

[Riley is writing a letter to Santa.]

Riley: While I am aware the Playstation 2 is a bit pricey, your records should indicate that I have, in fact, been remarkably good this year. [pauses] Please note that that the number of kids I smacked in the face just for living is down 25% from last year.

Hello and a hearty salute to Bob Johnson and BET, who recently proclaimed that BET does more to serve the Black community each and every day than the creator of this feature - one "playa hating" Aaron McGruder - has done his entire life. In order to follow the fine example set by Mr. Johnson, we present to you, the reader, in the spirit of Black uplift -

a black woman's gyrating rear end.

[shows a drawing of a woman's ass]

Huey: I don't get it. What's the significance of the name change? What's "P.Diddy" supposed to mean?

TV News: Senator Trent Lott reiterated the critical need for genetically enhanced super-commandos with multiple heads and appendages, saying "I'm confident the president will do right by America's armed forces." Meanwhile, the Japanese government announced that it was already well on its way to creating a three-headed soldier with wings and cybernetically implanted machine guns. They are promising to pour millions into further human cloning projects with the hope of "Making real life more like our really, really cool cartoons."

Ceasar: I can't believe they still have Ms Cleo on the run. I hope she's ok.

[The phone rings.]

Huey: I guess I gotta go get that... [picks up the phone] Hello? This is he... Ok, good... Good... Excellent... Well, thanks for calling.... Take care. [hangs up]

Huey: "And the winner of the "Black Artist Most Likely to Commit a sexual offense involving a twelve-year-old" award is...

[pause]

Huey: Y'know, it's bad enough we even have to have this award, but... It's a tie!

New Slang Alert: Brokeback (adj) - Used to describe anything of questionable masculinity. Believed to have originated from 2005 motion picture: Brokeback Mountain Here's how to use it in daily conversation:

Granddad: It's not a purse! It's a man-bag! It's very manly!

Riley: I don't know, Granddad... looks kinda Brokeback to me...

Huey: Give me news of hope, Ceasar. Tell me of the leaders who dare to stand against the grave dangers faced by this world. I crave inspiration.

Huey: Ahem. In this time of war against Osama bin Laden and the oppressive Taliban regime, we are thankful that OUR leader isn't the spoiled son of a powerful politician from a wealthy oil family who is supported by religious fundamentalists, operates through clandestine organizations, has no respect for the democratic electoral process, bombs innocents, and uses war to deny people their civil liberties. Amen.

Robert: This is the last time you say grace, boy.

Huey:: They always say I'm against the troops. I'm completely for the troops. Why, just last week I sent the president a 50 page "support our troops" resolution giving U.S. Soldiers or their families perpetual revenues from Iraqi Oil.

Caeser:: I'm going to miss you when they pass "Patriot Act 2"

Huey calls the FBI's terrorism tip line ...

Huey:: I'm very serious. I know of several Americans who helped train and finance Osama bin Laden.

Speaker:: And how did you come by this information?

Huey:: A little investigating. It wasn't that hard, actually.

Speaker:: Okay, give me some names.

Huey:: All right, let's see ... the first one is Reagan. That' R-E-A-G ... Hello? Hello?

TV News:: ..And today in sports, a black man somewhere ran with a ball and jumped with a ball and threw a ball and people got really excited as if they hadn't seen it a million times before... ...Next, we'll pretend like we can predict the weather...

It's important to note that not all moviegoers have been kind to the Matrix sequel. Many have complained that the movie is confusing, and I would have to agree. With so many black people in the movie, it was impossible to predict who would die first.

Ceasar:: You know, people say the best way to make good things happen is to put positive thoughts out into the universe.

Huey: A friend of mine back home just died...I never got to say goodbye, you know? I keep wishing he'll come back as a blue ghost, like Obi-Wan Kenobi. There's so much I want to say to him. [sigh] Why can't life be like Star Wars?

Caesar: Well, then Jar-Jar Binks would be real, and there'd be a bunch of Ewoks running around everywhere - nobody wants that.

Huey: A small price to pay if the people you love could come back as blue ghosts.

Tom: Huey, why did you tell Jazmine that Santa Claus is on Death Row in Hungary?

Huey: For the same reason you told her that Santa flies around the world passing out gifts with the help of magical reindeer. I guess we both really enjoy lying to small children.

Tom: IT'S NOT THE SAME!

Huey: See, I told you.

Caesar: I can't believe it.

Huey: I've known some self-hating black people before, but this takes the cake.

Caesar: Oooh, we're next... Merry Cristmas!

Uncle Ruckus: I hope you chimpanzees don't have a chimney.

[Huey and Riley are outside. Riley has opened a fire hydrant to cool down. People are staring.]