So I was perusing the site On Location Vacations, looking to see if anyone famous happened to be filming near my street today (it's not as lame as it sounds — I saw Anne Hathaway last week!), when I stumbled upon the saddest thing I have ever seen. No, it was not crying puppies, or the end of Amour, but this: the announcement that extras were needed for the post-Rapture, Christian reboot of Left Behind, a flim based on a series of old crappy movies and starring ... wait for it ... Nicolas Cage, Chad Michael Murray, and Ashley Tisdale.

Oof. Of course, I immediately checked out the film's website, which is filled with as predictably cringe-y font choices and FAQ's ("what color will Ashley Tisdale’s hair be as Chloe Steele?") as you'd expect. The site's synopsis page told me that Left Behind takes place after a Rapture, and it follows the lives of Ray Steele (Cage), a jet pilot forced to emergency-land his plane while hoping to see his family one last time; Buck Williams (Murray), a journalist on board who spends the ride contemplating the meaning of it all; and Chloe Steele (Tisdale), Ray's daughter, who must find her mother and brother before it's too late.

There is so much terrible about this. I don't know what's worse: the plot, which just sounds like a weaker, more religious version of Tom Perrotta's The Leftovers, or the casting, which basically screams, "THIS IS THE BEST ROLE THAT CAGE/MURRAY/TISDALE COULD GET."

Poor, poor actors. Can't someone just make a One Tree High School National Treasure 4 or something and save them from the misery of starring in Left Behind?