Ali and Sumayahttps://aliandsumaya.com
Official website for Ali and SumayaMon, 16 Oct 2017 17:07:36 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.2Your Child’s first Ramadan – 10 tips!https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/your-childs-first-ramadan/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/your-childs-first-ramadan/#commentsWed, 10 May 2017 13:56:31 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=11072It’s my eldest sons first Ramadan, fasting full time this year and I have really gone out of my way to make this experience as easy and memorable as possible. I don’t normally plan too much before Ramadan, too be honest where’s the time! With a family and home to run plus working, planning is the key. Alhamdullilah I started early, thinking about the difficulties my son may face and how I could make this Ramadan extra special, so parents…if I can do it – ANYONE CAN!!!

As a parent you can’t help worry about fasting in the long summer days for your children and how it will affect their health and well-being. One thing that we should all be certain of, is that Allah SWT knows and loves your child and He would never give any person a burden that they could not bear. Even though you may feel that your child is still too young, Allah SWT knows your child better!

Here are some of the things that I have done that has got my son sooo excited for Ramadam Masha Allah!

1 Starting early

One of the things that I did with my children from the age of 6 upwards, was I started off with mini fasts on the weekend building up over the years to full days of fasting. This really helps your child understand and know what to expect when fasting. The key message is that fasting is only for Allah.

2 Stories

Research Ramadan and key facts and get yourself prepared. Explain why Muslims fast to your child and the beautiful stories of Ramadan (age appropriately).

3 Prayer

Try to pray together and get them to lead if they can. This will make them feel really special and gives them a strong understanding of the importance of everyday prayer. Take your children to the mosques for prayers if you can, especially at weekends for Tarweeh as it builds a sense of community and togetherness.

4 Routines

Start talking about routines in Ramadan, how their day could be after school, perhaps have a nap and rest so it’s not such a long day for them. Plan weekend activities and iftaar gatherings that their friends and similar aged children can be a part of.

5 Food

Plan and prepare menus for the week and talk about all the wonderful treats they would like to eat for iftar and suhoor and get the kids involved!

6 Ramadan decorations!

Get them in the mood for the festive season and decorate your home with your kids. This will create excitement and keep them busy even while fasting. Art crafts are a great idea.

7 The month of the Qur’an

Read the Qur’an regularly together and give yourselves a target to reach for Ramadan. Explore the verses and stories together, especially about Ramadan. This will bring the words of Allah, closer to their hearts.

8 Charity and good deeds

Create a good deed box/calendar for the 30 days of Ramadan which you add to everyday. This gives your child a real understanding of giving and kindness. You could even continue this after Ramadan.

9 Rewards

Explain how Allah rewards us much more in Ramadan and agree a reward for your child for every day that they fast so that they have something special to look forward. Maybe a special surprise treat for them at the end of the month?

10 Eid Celebrations

Not forgetting the great celebration of Eid, get your kids involved with all the preparations plus the etiquettes of Eid and fun activities. Most importantly, don’t forget the presents, this are so important for your children, wrap them beautifully so they are dazzled!

May Allah SWT bless our children with patience and perseverance this Ramadan and grant them strong Iman and knowledge that can lead them through this life and the hereafter successfully – Ameen!

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/your-childs-first-ramadan/feed/5Day of Arafahhttps://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/day-of-arafah/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/day-of-arafah/#commentsSat, 10 Sep 2016 11:15:09 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=10449Alhamdulillah, Allah is truly worthy of all praise and thanks. He, SWT has given us so many blessings, so much so that we are even unable to count them all Subhan’Allah!

One of these His great blessings is that he guided us to Islam and to perform good deeds. Of the many good deeds and actions in Islam is to perform the Hajj (pilgrimage) and for all the Muslims that are not present in the pilgrimage, we can still gain an amazing amount of good by fasting on the day of Arafah.

Firstly, What is the day of Arafah?

It is the second day of the Hajj pilgrimage and the day after Arafah is Eid ul-Adha. At dawn of this day, Muslim Hujaaj (pilgrims) will make their way from Mina to a nearby hillside and plain called Mount Arafat and the Plain of Arafah. It was from this site our Prophet Muhammad gave one of his last famous Khutba’s (sermons) in the final year of his life.

The pilgrims spend the whole day standing and making Dua here, all seeking Allah’s forgiveness and mercy.

There is no day better in the sight of Allah than the Day of Arafah. On this day Allah descends to the nearest heaven in a manner that suits His Majesty, and He is proud of His slaves on the earth and says to those in heaven,

Allah SWT says: “Look at My servants. They have come from far and near, with hair disheveled and faces covered with dust, to seek My mercy, even though they have not seen My chastisement. Far more people are freed from the Hellfire on the Day of Arafah than on any other day.” [Ibn Hibban]

Fasting the day of Arafah

Our Beloved Prophet SWS highly encouraged all those who are not pilgrims to fast on the day of Arafah.

The Prophet SWS says: “Be content with the fact that Allah will expiate for your sins for a whole year before the day of Arafat and the year after the day of Arafah”

[Sahih Muslim]

The day of Arafah will be on Sunday the 11th of September this year (2016). So let’s all try our best to fast tomorrow insha’Allah!

(Please also remind your friends and family to fast the Day of Arafah)

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/day-of-arafah/feed/13Compassionhttps://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/compassion/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/compassion/#commentsSun, 20 Mar 2016 13:04:40 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=10057Muawiyah Ibn Abi Sufiyan (RA), was the sixth Khalifa and established the Omawi Empire. He was known for his wisdom and diplomatic approach to solve problems and disputes. Muawiyah who ruled as the Khalifa for 20 years, once said “If there were only one hair between me and the people, it will never break, if they stretch it, I loosen it, and if they loosen it, I stretch it, so it will never break”. This saying is known among Arabs as “Muawiyah’s hair” (شَعْرَة مُعَاوِية).

Do you find this saying wise and practical?

It’s a simple guidance to what to do and when to do it, especially for us parents. When we find ourselves in a situation where our children are upset, or not taking it easily, it’s our turn to loosen up the hair, I mean to make it easy on them, by giving them a chance to understand, to express themselves and to give them some time. On the other hand, when we as parents find our children are loosening up on what they must do, or the way they act shows carelessness, then the right approach will be to stretch the hair, in other words to remind them that this is not how we should act, and the freedom they have might be limited in the future if they continue the same behavior.

Sounds Simple?

This sounds simple, especially the part when we have to stretch the hair when they loosen it, we seem good at that; however the application of the first part needs practice and patience.

How many times have we been in situations where we needed someone to tell us “Despite the fact that you are upset, I am still here for you?” And how many times do we wish we had a reminder, at the times when things were easy?

We are still in need of that, yet we have a chance to be there for our children, and to remind them wisely.

We already have seen the consequences of stretching the hair when they stretch it, because we think they challenge us, they challenge our authority and they want to win in that situation. But the fact is that they learn by testing the limits, while we are there to guide wisely and to win them.

“Muawiyah’s hair” can be applied with everyone, not necessary in parenting, just needs time for you to practice, and you will see that you will win people and if only one hair is there between you, it will never break insha’Allah.

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/compassion/feed/7One Story…many lessonshttps://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/one-story-many-lessons/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/one-story-many-lessons/#commentsThu, 25 Feb 2016 17:06:11 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=10042My daughters (five and seven years old) ask me often about Allah (SWT), trying to understand how to connect with Him and to think of Him. They also ask questions about Adam (AS), the first Human creation of Allah, and about Shaytaan (Iblis). Shaytaan was originally a good Jinn but why did Shaytaan become bad? why is Shaytaan going to be punished? I have told the story so many times and discussed it with them because I can see the impact it has in their lives.

Iblis was a good Jinn on earth and Allah (SWT) raised him to the heaven with the Angels because of his goodness! Allah (SWT) later created Adam (AS) from clay, his body was left to dry for a period of time before Allah blew into him His Rooh (soul). During that time Iblis would kick the clay and go in and out of it. After Allah blew into the clay from His Rooh He ordered all the Angels to prostrate to Adam (I explained to my daughters that prostration was a sign of respect, not a sign of worship). Amongst the Angels was Iblis who refused to prostrate to Adam. Allah (SWT) asked him “what prevented you from prostrating when I ordered you?” Iblis replied “I am better than him; You created me from fire and created him from clay.”
Allah (SWT) decided to put Iblis out of His mercy, and promised Iblis to be punished…but not right away, but in the fire.

Iblis swore by Allah’s Majesty that he will mislead all the children of Adam except those who are sincere. His feelings of jealousy and arrogance overtook him and he disobeyed Allah even though he worshipped Allah alone!
My daughters came up with the following through discussion:

· First, Iblis does not like Adam and does want any good for him.

· Second, Iblis did not ask Allah to forgive him he was too proud. Instead he said, that he will take all the children of Adam with him, except those who are sincere to Allah.

· Third, they asked me, how can Iblis be burned in the fire as He was created from fire? One answer is, Iblis like the rest of the Jinns, was created originally from the flame of the fire and we were created originally from clay (mixture of earth and water), and as the dirt would harm humans if they were thrown under a big pile of it, fire would burn Iblis or any Jinn when they are thrown into it. Another answer is that we believe that The Qur’an is the speech of Allah (SWT). In the Qur’an Allah promised to punish Iblis with fire, so we believe that He will do so, even if we don’t understand how it will happen.

· Fourth, my five year old told me “Allah will protect me from Shaytaan”.

· Fifth, we learn to thank Allah (SWT) for everything we have including the ability to understand the story and reflect on it, because He promised in the Qur’an to give us more when we thank Him. After taking it all in, my five year old said: “O Allah I like you a lot!”

May Allah Protect us from Shaytaan and Grant us with entering Jannatul Firdous Al ’Ala- the highest paradise – Ameen.

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/one-story-many-lessons/feed/13Do you treat your kids fairly?https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/treatfairly/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/treatfairly/#commentsFri, 12 Feb 2016 20:03:55 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=9954Growing up in a large household with eight children running around was lots of fun, but how was it to parent such a large number of kids?

Among the many happy memories growing up, I also have vivid memories of contrasting treatment towards certain siblings and I grew up surrounded by feelings of difference. It wasn’t an obvious “favoritism”, however over the years it became more apparent and I came to realise that my emotions of low confidence growing up, was a reflection of feeling “not good enough” to the ones that mattered the most in my life…my parents.

When talking about this to my parents recently, I realised that they really had no idea that they were treating us differently at all. With so many mouths to feed, they just never thought about feeding our hearts and our minds fairly at the same time! Alhamdulillah our faith tells us exactly how we should treat all our children, and the answer is simply “justly”.

The beautiful teaching and manners of our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is also a clear example of how we should treat our children.

“My father gave me some of his wealth, and my mother ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah said: ‘I will not accept this until you ask the Messenger of Allah (SAW) to bear witness to it.’ So my father went to the Prophet (SAW) to ask him to bear witness to the gift he had given me. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to him, ‘Have you done this for all your children?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Fear Allah and treat all your children fairly.’ So my father came back and took back his gift.” (Narrated by Muslim)

Another narration of this hadith is:

“Do not ask me to bear witness to this, for I will not bear witness to injustice.” (Narrated Muslim)

This hadith emphasises that we should be fair in our “giving” as well as our “nurturing”. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same for each child but needs to hold the same value dependent on the ages of the child.

When praising a child in the presence of another, simply praise the other one too on something else that they have achieved. It makes so much difference. Many parents criticise their kids, especially in front of others, hoping that it will make them stronger. This action actually has the opposite effect and can cause more harm than good. These behaviors can make children feel ashamed and humiliated about their failures and instill a disastrous belief of “I can’t do it”.

The confidence we get from our parents, family and upbringing is absolutely crucial to the person we become. Many of us go through life not even knowing that there is an underlying problem with our self-belief and confidence and a lot of it is because of how you were treated as a child. These characters can manifest in so many ways and unless we “realise and admit it” we can never work on resolving our issues.

As a parent myself, I have found just how difficult it is to be fair! Some kids are just more “easy” than others so it doesn’t seem like you are treating them differently, when in fact you are! On one occasion I remember smiling back at my son who was smiling at me. The other one said “how come you don’t smile at me Mummy? My heart sank! My other son doesn’t naturally smile and can be quite “whiny” so of course it didn’t come naturally to smile at him at that moment, it was not intentional. I understood how he must have felt a little “unloved” because he didn’t get the same smile, so I beamed a smile and told them that I loved them both sooo much! I saw the faith restored in his eyes, Subhan Allah!

The simple understanding that all your children should be treated fairly and with respect can save so much unnecessary heartache and feelings of jealousy and resentment. It may seem so childish but it affects your child deeply and contributes to the person they become.

I pray that Allah (SWT) blesses us all with strength and ability to treat our kids with lots of love and justice and I pray that our children grow up to be strong, confident and “just” Muslims, Ameen.

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/treatfairly/feed/8Gentlenesshttps://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/gentleness/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/gentleness/#commentsTue, 26 Jan 2016 12:41:33 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=9928I would like to share with you a story that happened one day with our sister Noura.

Noura is a mother of three children who works hard to take care of her family every day. One day after she finished ironing a big pile of clothes, before starting to put them away, her six year old called for her to help him, she ran to him and when she came back, her two year old daughter received her with a big beautiful smile, showing her mother the work that she did with the ironed clothes. I can leave the rest to your imagination!

Let me ask you: If you are in Noura’s position, what would be your reaction?

Also in the same book hadith 643, Prophet Mohammad (SAW) said : “O Ayesha, Indeed Allah is the Most Gentle, He loves gentleness, and He Gives for gentleness what he does not give for severity, and does not give for any other approach”

If Noura chose to take a deep breath, smile back at her child and asked her daughter to kindly help her mum to collect the clothes and fold them with her, she indeed has chosen an approach that Allah (SWT) Loves, an approach that made her reaction beautiful, and an approach that Allah Gives for it more than any other!

I believe that your comment now is that this is not always easy, and yes, it is not easy to see 90 minutes of work all over the floor and just smile and be kind…

I also believe that you are absolutely right!

But let me ask you again, what is the possible approach for Noura to undo what her two year old did?

to educate a two year old without scaring or hurting her?

to keep calm and not loose temper?, and,

to be rewarded with the best reward from Allah (SWT) at the same time?

It’s helpful as well to look at what happened from the daughter’s point of view, what Noura’s daughter was trying to do is to copy her mother, but in her own fashion, she was trying to iron the clothes too and she expected her mum to be happy, she never intended to make her mother, that she loves so much, upset.

So, whenever you are in a similar situation, choose to be gentle, it is guaranteed – according to the hadith above to get the best reward, it is best for you to remain calm and not to allow anger to take place and it is also best for your child.

Look at what your children did from their perspective in order to understand them better.

May Allah (SWT) Bless you and your children, and Make it easy for you to enjoy educating them.

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/gentleness/feed/145 Fun activities during Christmas!https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/5-fun-activities-during-christmas/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/5-fun-activities-during-christmas/#commentsFri, 18 Dec 2015 17:26:28 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=9762With Christmas on its way, the dreaded questions start sweeping swiftly in from the kids “Why can’t we have a Christmas tree? Why can’t we get presents? Why can’t I give Christmas cards as well!

SubhanAllah, Christmas is a testing time for parents especially knowing that your child just want to have fun and just be a part of the festivities – what’s wrong with that! A little bit of Christmas tree, presents and festive greeting cards causes no harm right? These little gestures are a great test for us parents, do we give in just a little bit? It’s just so heart-breaking to see your kids upset. Unless you give an alternative, no matter how good your reasons, the kids will still have the feeling of missing out and being bored during the Christmas period.

With the month of Ramadan and fasting, it’s very difficult to have the energy and time to shop and be enthusiastic about the Eid celebrations never mind preparing for it! We all like to focus on our worship in the month of Ramadan and don’t really want to spend time decorating and shopping in these blessed days. Why not use the Christmas period and holidays to get ready for Eid Ul-Fitr?

Here are 5 fantastic tips to get prepared for our blessed Eid-ul-Fitr and at the same time having lots of fun with the kids insha’Allah. The main purpose is to make your child understand and feel how wonderful Eid is for them and that we have a great festival worth celebrating! It will get your kids super excited about their own special holiday and many months of “I can’t wait for Eid” feeling insha’Allah.

1.Start making your Eid cards!

No more regrets of “I wished had done more for Eid”. Use cards that you’ve been given from friends and get creative with your kids. Have lots of fun and chats about Eid. Don’t forget to use lots of sparkle, glitter and glue and make it special. Its great family time and a perfect opportunity to make beautiful personalised cards for loved ones this coming Eid!

2. Start preparing Eid Gift ideas!

As we won’t be exchanging any gifts this season, we can remind our kids that they will be getting gifts on Eid Insha’Allah. Ask your kids what presents they would like to receive and ask them to write up a wish list. This is a great way for them to realise that they won’t be missing out on presents, but will just be receiving them at different time…and will surely make them look forward to Eid Insha’Allah!

3. Arrange a story telling evening about the story of Easa (AS)!

Read up on the true story of Mary and the miracle of Jesus in Islam. Get prepared for a captivating and enchanting story time using the Qur’an and Hadith as your guide with lots of expression insha’Allah. This will be a truly memorable experience for your kids and a fantastic way to answer any niggling questions they have about Christmas.

4. Plan your 3 day “Eid” activities!

With time on your hands during holidays why not use this time to plan, prepare and book activities for you and your kids? It would be something wonderful to look forward to, don’t forget to get your kids involved!

5. Give Charity!

One of the beautiful qualities of Eid is that it is a month of giving. Get your kids to love their faith and instil the beauty of Islam in their little hearts forever. Encourage the act of good deeds, giving and rewards all year round insha’Allah.

These simple tips can transform our holiday blues with our little ones into great, productive and rewarding acts that can get us all super excited and motivated for our blessed Eid to come insha’ Allah. With all this preparation for Eid, your kids will love to talk about it with their friends. They will be proud of their Eid festival and their own identity as Muslims insha’Allah. As a parent myself, I can’t wait to get started with my children this holiday using all the tips above insha’Allah!

]]>https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/5-fun-activities-during-christmas/feed/107 Tips to get through Christmas!https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/7-tips-christmas/
https://aliandsumaya.com/muslim-mummy/7-tips-christmas/#commentsTue, 08 Dec 2015 18:42:10 +0000https://aliandsumaya.com/?p=9684Being raised in a non-Muslim country I grew up watching all the excitement and glitter that the Christmas season brought. The wintery warm feeling, the brilliantly decorated Christmas tree, beautiful Christmas cards, the delicious food and not forgetting the perfectly wrapped Christmas presents placed neatly under the tree. A vision of warmth, family and peace…It was heart-breaking when my parents said “we don’t celebrate Christmas, its haram!” and that was it! I wished that I would miraculously get a present from Santa on Christmas morning and remember secretly making my “what I want from Santa” list and promised I’d been a good girl!

It’s perfectly natural as a child to have all this wonder and curiosity about the Christmas season and the best possible thing to do is talk about it – A LOT! Don’t leave your child puzzled and confused. Answer their questions, research the topic, get yourself “prepared” and explain the reasons (age appropriately). Most importantly, remind them about Allah, the One who loves them so much and insha Allah they will grow to understand and accept the reasons that Christmas is not part of Islam in a gentle, loving manner, at the right time in the right way.

The following steps are a great way to get yourself prepared for “the season” and insha’Allah will give you positive “strength” and support to get through Christmas with your kids!

1. Respect the beliefs of others!

Show your kids to have the utmost respect for people with other faiths and their celebrations. Islam requires all Muslims to respect the faith of others. We should never be critical of the religious beliefs of others no matter how much we disagree with them.

Our prophet Muhammad (SAW) was a great example of how he treated people of different faiths with respect and peace, Allah SWT says in the Holy Qur’an:

“And insult not those whom they worship besides God, lest they insult God wrongfully without knowledge. Thus We have made fair-seeming to each people its own doings; then to their Lord is their return and He shall then inform them of all that they used to do”. (Al An’am 6:108)

2. Start early!

Teach them about Prophet Jesus at an early age and let them know similarities between Muslims and Christians beliefs within Christmas. This will empower your child to respond to questions from friends and teachers confidently and with great respect insha’Allah.

3. Prepare all appropriate adults!

From a very early age, inform your child’s nursery teachers and carers (that are not Muslim) about what you believe, explain why we don’t celebrate certain events and clearly the reasons why in a positive and informative manner. If the adults are prepared, they can support you and your child when they ask questions regarding Christmas. It makes it much easier to deal with as your kids get older and actually becomes the norm for their teachers and carers, and in fact it may also be a great opportunity to invite people to Islam!

4. Tell them the real story about our beloved Jesus – Eesa (AS)!

This is a fantastic opportunity to have a lovely story time about Jesus – Eesa (AS) with your little ones. The fact that he is also loved and highly respected by ALL Muslims is very eye opening. Telling Eesa’s story is a great way to get your kids to get to know about him, his life and most importantly the facts.

5. Do your homework!

Get prepared for the Christmas season by reading the specific chapters in Holy Qur’an relating to Jesus. Mainly Surah Ali-Imran, Surah Mariam (Mary) and Surah Maidah. Share this knowledge with your little ones in a fun story time manner with lots of expression!

6. Clear up the differences!

Make sure you make it clear to your child about the differences between Islam and Christianity, some crucial points to remember:

Jesus was NOT the “son of God” (he was a Messenger and Prophet of God)

Jesus had no father (he was a miraculous conception)

Jesus spoke as a baby to defend his mum (from false accusations about her chastity)

Jesus gave life to a clay bird with the help of Allah SWT (not mentioned in Christianity)

Jesus was not crucified but taken up to the heavens (another person who betrayed Eesa was crucified in his place as Allah SWT made him resemble Eesa (AS)!

7. Celebrate being Muslim!

Let your kids know that there is nothing wrong with being different and to be proud of being Muslim! Christmas tends to makes our kids feel left out, however when we are able to confidently educate our kids about the root of Christmas and engage them with the message of Prophet Jesus, they will be more confident with their faith and their own identity insha’Allah!

Subhan Allah – I did grow out of the “Christmas” phase! Learning about my deen as an adult strengthened my knowledge and reasoning about Christmas and I was able to inform my kids confidently and with love (don’t get me wrong, I made a ton of mistakes too!) I shared their fascination about the Christmas season and there’s nothing wrong with that! However it always brought us back to the beautiful stories of our beloved Eesa the son of Maryam.

With all the uncertainty in society and media it’s a must that we equip our little ones with lots of love and know-how about our Deen and of course Christmas! I pray that all our children grow up with confidence and understanding in this turbulent world. May they be blessed with wisdom and knowledge that can lead them through this life and the hereafter successfully – Ameen!

Growing up in a strict, traditional Muslim household meant that there was just not much affection shown. I grew up thinking that it was “unislamic” to be warm and affectionate and it was something I felt you had to hide. Don’t get me wrong, my parents took good care of me and my siblings in all the worldly manner, Islam, food, clothing, education, but they were very formal when it came to showing love and affection to their children.

Becoming a parent is such a big responsibility. It’s not simply a case of producing offspring and providing material things. The real toil is in the upbringing of your child and nurturing the person they will become Insha’Allah. Parenting simply starts with love, love and lots of love! Our prophet Muhammad (SAW) is simply the most loving and nurturing human being I have ever read about and there are so many narrations of how wonderful he was with the little ones.

These fantastic tips below are quite simply following the way of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW), medical health and Psychology are just catching up!

1. Kiss and cuddle your kids!

Nurturing children is a fundamental part of healthy growth. Those hugs and kisses will live in their memories forever and give them great self-confidence and a good loving nature that will help them in their life journey Insha’Allah.

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Messenger (SAW) kissed Al-Hasan bin ‘Ali while Al-Aqra’ bin Habis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, “I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them,” Allah’s Messenger (SAW) cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others, will not be treated mercifully.” (Bukhari)

2. Say “I love you” and make Dua that Allah loves them too!

These words are so powerful and can affect us so deeply, it makes us feel loved, safe and cared for. Telling and showing your kids how you feel is a great way to teach them compassion and in time, they will copy this “behaviour” and become loving and nurturing role models themselves Insha’Allah.

“Learn through play” comes to mind. Memories of warmth and fun will imprint learning more powerfully than a textbook any day. These plays sessions will teach your kids about life skills such as “sharing is caring”, friendship, trust and loyalty as well as having lots of fun in the process!

4. Smile and be the best example!

Smiling is charity! If your child sees you happy and smiling, they will naturally copy! “Don’t tell them show them” to be positive and hopeful and earn lots of reward in the process by looking at each other with love and tenderness every day!

5. Pray with them!

Be the example! If you pray, they will follow! If they see how much you love Allah and how you plan your day around your prayer because you thank Him for all your blessings every day, they will naturally love to pray too Insha’Allah! Tell them that praying is like having your 1 to 1 special time with Allah. He sees you, hears you and loves you!

6. Care about what is troubling them!

If they are having a bad day, listen! Let them know that it’s OK to be sad and to cry! This teaches them that you truly value their feelings and opinions and they are important! Don’t make them feel sad or ashamed about things, talk about it.

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to come to visit us. I had a younger brother who was called Abu ‘Umair by kunyah (nickname). He had a sparrow with which he played, but it died. So one day the Prophet (SAW) came to see him and saw him grieved. He asked: What is the matter with him? The people replied: His sparrow has died. He then said: Abu ‘Umair! What has happened to the little sparrow? (Bukhari)

7. Teach them to ask Allah!

Whatever life throws at you, remember that Allah sees you, hears you and loves you and He is with you all the way! Teach your kids to raise their hands and ask Allah first. He is our friend and the One who gave us our loving family and He is the only One that deserves our worship.

Becoming a parent myself, I can now see how my parents did the very best they could with the life skills they were given and just how challenging parenting actually is! They didn’t have access to all the beautiful teachings and knowledge of our beloved Prophet (SAW) that this generation has at a click of a button. I can truly say I love my parents more than ever and I thank Allah SWT every day for blessing me with such wonderful role models who have made me the person I am today.

As parents, we are all human and we make many mistakes but the key is to accept, say sorry and repair them. I thank Allah SWT that he gave my parents and me the time to learn and renew our relationship.

I pray to Allah SWT with all my heart that all our children grow up to be healthy, righteous and “loving” Muslims who will be loved dearly by The Most loving and Merciful One. Ameen.

Memories of learning Islam as a child were far from pleasant, with strict teachers and harsh discipline mixed with not being able to understand anything I was repeating or why I was doing it, made the whole experience quite traumatic. I remember scary speeches of Allah’s anger and vivid images of the hellfire that terrified me…As soon as I could, I ran away.

Learning emotionless, robotic moves of making Wudu with ice-cold water in Madrasah with constant reminders of the punishments are still heavily imprinted in my mind. As an adult who later re-learnt the religion correctly, I found that I was actually taught to make Wudu wrong!

The first impression of Islam is crucial to your child, the images, memories and feelings are forever imprinted in their little hearts and minds. Islam is actually full of love and mercy, and a truly nurturing way of life. Each learning experience such as how to make Wudu should be a wonderful memory, binding us to Allah forever Insha’Allah!

A lot of the time when I learnt something about Islam I was never told the reason why I should do it. Making a point to let our kids know why we do something is crucial and develops the awareness that we do things to please Allah; the One Who created us all and The Only One that deserves our worship.

What is Wudu?

Wudu is a special wash that you perform with water before we pray and read the Holy Qur’an.

Why do we do have to make Wudu?

A common question on all kids’ lips is “why!” The simple answer is because Allah told us to in the Holy Qur’an.

“O you who believe! When you intend to offer As-Salah (the prayer), wash your faces and your hands (forearms) up to the elbows, rub (by passing wet hands over) your heads, and (wash) your feet up to the ankles…Allah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you, and to complete His Favour to you that you may be thankful” (Surah al-Maa’idah 5:6)

Another benefit of Wudu is that it also teaches cleanliness, which is also very important for growing children. Our Prophet Muhammad (SWS) said, “Cleanliness is half of faith…” (Sahih Muslim).

So here are the 10 Simple steps to make Wudu!

It’s important that you do the following steps in order… but before you start you should make an intention to make Wudu…you can do this by whispering to your heart …”I am going to make Wudu!”…Ok let’s begin…

Begin by saying: Bismillah

Completely Wash your hands including your wrist and between the fingers…do this 3 times

Put water into your mouth with the right hand, swirl it around in your mouth and then spit it out…do this 3 times

Sniff water into your nose as far as you can with your right hand… then blow it out using your left hand…do this 3 times

Wash your face completely from your forehead to your chin…and from right ear to the left ear…if you have a beard than run your wet fingers through it…

Wash your right arm…begin at the fingertips…washing your whole hand, arm and elbow…do this 3 times…then wash your left arm in same order.

Wipe your head…Start at your fringe …move your hands to the back of your head and then back to the font of your fringe…in one move! This is only done 1 time

Wipe the inside of both of your ears with your index finger…then the back of your ears you’re your thumb…this is only done 1 time

Wash the right foot including your ankle…make sure you wash between your toes using your small pinkie finger….this is done 3 times….do the same for your left foot !

My boys started making Wudu by copying me when they were barely walking!

Let them see you make wudu, they will naturally copy you insha Allah! Encourage your kids to make Wudu as young as possible even if they don’t do it properly. Try to make Wudu with them and ask them to remind you what part to wash next.

Have fun! Make it a memorable and rewarding experience for your kids, also remind them that water is a blessing from Allah and that we shouldn’t waste it.

Insha’Allah, by the time they reach adulthood they should have had enough practice of making Wudu that it will become a blessed part of their daily lives.

Tip: It’s also encouraged to have Wudu as much as possible during the day and even when you go to bed as it acts as a protective shield Alhamdulillah!

Make Wudu an important part of you and families everyday life and remember it’s an act of worship!