Well since you're posting this, Im guessing that you've already asked, begged and pleaded and she still says no, so my advice would to respect her wishes and leave it be..... unless yoy fancy buying her a strap-on and see how it feels?

*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*

Buy a strap on and let her fuck you with it first, if you want her to be willing to do it you got to be willing to do it too.

Sex shouldn't be a bartering system. It shouldn't be anything at all about "if you want me to do it, you have to do it too". That's childish. If his gf doesn't want to do anal, then that's her right and choice. She's entitled to say no. He's entitled to wanting more. At some point a decision will be made. Either she'll decide to try it, he'll decide to give up asking, she'll leave him because he keeps asking, he'll leave her because she won't do it.

Sex isn't about tit for tat. If we live our lives like that we'll never be fulfilled or happy.

To the O.P., why won't she try it? Is she scared? Does she think it's gross? Maybe you have a monster cock and she thinks you'll rip her in two? Maybe she's done it before and doesn't like it? The reason she says no is highly important. Once you know that, then you can proceed as necessary.

edit..... a person either wants to receive anal or they don't. I have no desire to be assfucked and no amount of trade or sexual favors or bartering system would ever change that. If a person is willing to take it up the ass if their lover does, then they wanted to be reamed anyway.

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates

Joined: 7/17/2011Posts: 2,295Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada

lafayettemister wrote:

Sex shouldn't be a bartering system. It shouldn't be anything at all about "if you want me to do it, you have to do it too". That's childish. If his gf doesn't want to do anal, then that's her right and choice. She's entitled to say no. He's entitled to wanting more. At some point a decision will be made. Either she'll decide to try it, he'll decide to give up asking, she'll leave him because he keeps asking, he'll leave her because she won't do it.

Sex isn't about tit for tat. If we live our lives like that we'll never be fulfilled or happy.

To the O.P., why won't she try it? Is she scared? Does she think it's gross? Maybe you have a monster cock and she thinks you'll rip her in two? Maybe she's done it before and doesn't like it? The reason she says no is highly important. Once you know that, then you can proceed as necessary.

Did LM actually just say sex was not about TIT? Well I'll be damned, are pigs flying?

Sex shouldn't be a bartering system. It shouldn't be anything at all about "if you want me to do it, you have to do it too".

Here we are with this again... no one is making sex a 'bartering system' here, the women are simply trying to get across a point. If a woman really doesn't want to do anal I somehow doubt that seeing her man take something up the arse is going to resign her to allowing it to be done to herself, for a starters.

The point being made here is that of 'look how it feels'... look how it feels to be put in a position you don't want to be put in, to be constantly asked to do things you're uncomfortable with, to be nagged and pleaded with over something you really, really don't want to do.

You can call it childish, or whatever you want, but the reality is that with some guys it's often the only way of getting the message across. It's one of those things that, because most guys seriously shy away from the thought of having ANYTHING near their precious little virgin holes, they will 'think twice' when you put them on the spot with it. It causes them to think about how they'd feel if someone seriously asked them to do it (of course this only works if they are 'most guys') and thus they are able to empathise with how you, as a female, must feel when you're asked to do it (and you don't wish to).

I feel like I'm getting deja vu here, I think I might have responded similarly to you posting something re 'sex bartering' before.

I think you are all being unfair to OP. Did he say he had pestered her for an extended period? It can be very frustrating when someone refuses to try something point blank without trying. It's a bit like the way small children often refuse to eat food even when they have never tasted it. Perhaps OPs GF has done so in the past and didn't like it, then fair enough but just not liking the idea is so selfish when OP is so desperate to experience this.

Hey Phili dude, the ladies are right. If your woman has already said no, you should respect that and move on. If she loves you as much as you love her then anal should not be a stumbling block in your relationship. Respect and love regardless. Best of luck dude.

As a straight female that is currently being "bribed" for anal, I feel like I should speak up.

I'm involved in a long distance, friends with benefits relationship. Its not all about the sex...but its the driving factor (no pun intended!) in our relationship. He loves anal....I've never done it and I've never been asked to. I'll gladly lick his ass until he cums, but I currently have no interest in his dick being in my ass for pleasure.

There's a "dirrty" aspect to anal that I just cant get my mind around. Probably my Catholic upbringing. I could try, and probably will...but on my terms. The more he pushes and does the "I'll go down on you for HOURS" bribery tactic, the less I am inclined to do it. If I loved him and we were in a committed relationship, I'd be more apt. But at this point, its a no.

Someone mentioned that you should talk to your girl and find out why she's not interested. Thats the best advice on here. And stop pushing.

Give her time, if you are comfortable enough with them, ask her friends if any of them did it and if they would be willing to talk to her. However, people usually feel pretty strongly one way or another. Anal sex, at least in my experience, isn't something you say yeah sure what the hell to. It seems like you are very strongly PRO anal and your GF is very strongly ANTI anal. there isn't usually a way to change that and you should be ready to respect that decision.

Best Wishes,Tiara

P.S.I'm sure you know this but don't even try to sneak it in, for example during doggy style, as that could very easily be proved as rape. I worked as a court stenographer for a summer and heard a case where a man tried to do that. He ended up in jail!

Joined: 2/24/2012Posts: 200Location: Where I need to be right now, United States

Relationships.. and specifically sexual relationships are about privilege.. the first kiss.. the first touch.. the first time clothing is removed.. are all privileges being offered from one person to another for the sake of love, lust or momentary pleasure.. certainly all relationships are about sacrifice and negotiation in all things and not just sex.. and yes there is a certain amount of 'bartering' that does occur in sex but only to the extent of mutual pleasure and not singular.. but privilege has to be offered willingly and not cajoled through the use of drugs, alcohol, guilt, or just because you want it "really bad".. sex is about the pleasure of your partner more than your own.. and if she doesn't want or enjoy something then it should never even be on the menu.. depending on whether or not your GF is actually a mate you care for or little more than a booty call, the most important thing to happen is communication.. talk in depth about oral.. vaginal.. and anal sex and make sure you both know the boundaries.. it's all about privilege.. honor it..

You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.