From Pound to Parka or Rin Tin Tobogan?

Fayetteville, NC -The flailing economy has set its sights on its latest victim, innocent puppies. This week a backwater county surrounding Fayetteville, North Carolina announced its newest plan to capitalize on its greatest assets, negligent owners of so called "dangerous breeds" and run down mills.

The once booming mill town has seen most of its jobs exported to Mexico and China over the last decade, but has recently seen a modest increase in local revenues due to their All Fur Fayetteville campaign, which essentially partners local animal shelters with the town's once profitable fur wholesalers.

Feeling the success of the wildly popular All Fur Fayetteville, the County Commission has just proposed a new municipal ordinance that fast tracks the euthanization process, preventing people from being able to adopt "dangerous" dogs and sending them to production facilities within 72 hours of capture.

The opportunity to streamline the process from pound to parka has Commissioner Charles Evans ecstatic saying, "it's great that we can get this kind of legislation on the table, they're simply a better product and a softer, more colorful higher quality fur". Aimed at curbing the swelling ranks of Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, German Shepherds and other great breeds the plan is also said to increase public safety.

Make chuckyevans's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Washington, DC -- Unannounced presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had more than a few good reasons for operating her own email server while she served as Secretary of State. Unfortunately, they were all on that server, which has malfunctioned and...

WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday.
"We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...

MYLITTLEPO, NY (Tengu Windwaker) -- Angela Candelabra, aged 15, the girl who claimed to "die" for almost a day to "see heaven and hell" who also had a video that made Fundamentalists fight other religions through shocking testimonies which look like...

Santa Barbara - Dick Cheney told Playboy Magazine that Barack Obama was the worst President ever, so Al Gore phoned up Penthouse Magazine and demanded they interview him, so he could return the favor.
"Dick Cheney is the worst Vice-President ever,...

Manfred, New Hampshire - This small town of 750 has finally found a replacement for Bill Hicks, the 92 year old member of the local water commission who suffered a massive stroke during a commission meeting last February. Ms. Jean Seymore, a local r...

Washington DC - The widow of Joe Allbritton, sometime owner of one of America's most corrupt banks, is acting as official hostess to a totally spurious four day visit by roughneck Brit scroungers Charles and Camilla.
Barbara Allbritton heads the t...

Washington DC - Calling his cock a "massive pressure valve," former President Bill Clinton said that his sexual escapades with teenage Latin American prostitutes will "continue unabated" because they are his "only source of psychological release."...

TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese.
Obese people make 72 cents...