If waving your genitals at casual passersby in San Francisco is on your bucket list (and, let's be real, if it isn't, how can you be sure you're heart's really beating?), then you'd better hurry up and do it before Feb. 1 rolls around and makes genital-exposing in Fog City a much more fraught endeavor. That's when an ordinance passed recently by the city's Board of Supervisors prohibiting individuals from "exposing their genital region in public places" goes into full effect.

City Attorney Dennis Herrera recently responded to a lawsuit filed by Christina DiEdoardo that disputes the nudity ban, characterizing it as an assault on consitutional rights. In a statement, Herrera contendended, "Public nudity bans are a long-standing feature of municipal codes throughout the nation, and their constitutionality has been repeatedly affirmed by the courts - including the U.S. Supreme Court." See? It's not unreasonable to ask people to wear some sort of polyester blend over their sin crevices. Besides, constituents in the Castro district (where a group of dudes disrobe daily and perform nude ablutions at Jane Warner Plaza) have apparently been complaining about public nudity, and if the human body upsets some people, well, then it's high-time all human bodies were covered up. The alternative is to have the Catholic Church come through and, um, fig leaf everyone.