Being deaf – still!!

Background: The author has been profoundly deaf in one ear since birth, and grew up in a gloriously mono world – despite salesmen attempting to sell him both stereo and quadrophonic sound systems. Five years ago, he went to sleep with a “bit of a headache” one night and woke up with much of his hearing in the other ear gone. They told him it was a virus. He now wears a hearing aid, but not as often as he should, apparently. Recently, the little hearing he has left has started to deteriorate and the world is getting quieter and more distorted. Cue witty remarks …..
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Hello. To those of you, who have previously engaged with this blog, welcome back; both of you . . . No need to apologise; as a deaf person, I am well used to being ignored. Apparently, repeating yourself when requested is tiresome, especially if it for the second or third time of asking. What’s that? The background music doesn’t help? Well, no one else is complaining, so – No – we won’t turn it down.
Being disabled is a politically “hot potato” at present. It seems, at times, to be one of the few things that the main parties agree upon. They all seem to hate us, and blame us for the need to cut government expenditure. Whether it is that relative of a bowel complaint, Ian Duncan Smith (IDS/ IBS – geddit?) or Rachel Reeves, they all want to distance themselves from anyone requiring a modicum of support. The stereotype image is of the feckless, the scrounger, the “not really as bad as you make out, are you?” … How I wish that was true.
Obviously, it is the wholly unreasonable levels of benefits, and NOT the astronomical bonuses that bankers pay themselves, whilst assisting huge corporations and the mega-rich to avoid/evade (whichever!) taxation, that is responsible for all the ills the beset us as a nation. Either that, or it’s Big Gordy’s fault – but then he’s got one eye and could be disabled, so that explains it, doesn’t it.
So; what is it like being “disabled”? How do I cope with being at home all day, drawing huge sums from the pockets of hard working people & squandering on a lavish lifestyle? Sorry, but I can’t tell you. I have been in full time employment since 1970; still am. Many disabled people are the same. It is a frequently made mistake to assume otherwise.
Not that I, a tax payer like you (PAYE – don’t have a choice!) object to those who are unable to work. Someone more profound and literate than me once said that it is a measure of a society on how it treats its most disadvantaged. I know enough about the welfare state to know that the level of benefits does not allow the vast majority to do anything more than exist.
The media – whether it is TV or the tabloids – will always find the minority who are pulling a scam, and then make a celebrity out of them. There isn’t a system invented that someone won’t find a way of exploiting, so the popular belief appears to be to stigmatise the genuine into wanting to disassociate themselves from the whole process. This means that THE most vulnerable – the elderly, those with mental health problems and depressive illnesses – will often cease seeking help, quietly starve and almost certainly deteriorate. Still, apart from the funeral, it does reduce dependency ….
Politics nowadays is about instant wins and short term gains, so rather than look for long term solutions, the tendency – across the party divide – is for catchy sound bites and “feel good” moments for those nice middle class voters you want on-board.
The biggest mistake they all make is to refer to us as The Disabled, as if we are a group with identical needs and aspirations. That’s almost as likely as saying all MP’s are dishonest because a few fiddled their expenses …..
In previous blogs, I have attempted to add some light to the debate about differing disabilities. There is no league table; it can depend on a whole host of factors as to how an individual copes. Two people with an almost identical condition can deal with it completely differently. Similarly, a diagnosis is not really useful in explaining things. I’m deaf – what does that mean? Can I hear nothing, something, a little or a lot? Does it affect anything else in my daily life, or is it simply a communication thing? This is what people don’t ask – they assume instead.
Deafness is isolating and frustrating; it is having to concentrate hard on simple conversations, and having to accept that sometimes you have to give up and hope you haven’t missed something important.
Deafness means that going to the cinema is restricted to those rare occasions they show a subtitled film. Where I live, there are three (soon to be four) major chain cinemas – each with a dozen screens and multiple shows per day – and a two screen independent.
Despite that, if there is more than two subtitled showings (leaving aside the independent showing foreign films frequently) it is an occasion. Unfortunately, that subtitled show is usually pushed to a slot that they find hard to fill anyway – Sunday afternoon or Tuesday early … and the choice of film? What choice? Sadly, it is often a children’s film.
Deafness means that much of the entertainment platforms on TV are not accessible still. Virgin Media still doesn’t provide subtitles for its on demand or films. Do I get a discount? No. I don’t.
Deafness means eating out or going to a pub is challenging. Few don’t have background music (like my reason for going out with friends is to listen to someone else’s taste in muzak?).
Deafness is THAT look on the servers face, the one where the doubt your mental competence to let out unsupervised. Your lips may say “It’s fine”, but your eyes and facial expression say “Oh FFS, are you deaf?” – YES!!!
PK

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One response to this post.

As a mostly-deaf git myself I can recognise all that you say here. Like you, I find a sense of humour helps to get by. I also agree with you on the current political climate, it is taking us backwards for the first time in decades of slow, hard-won progress.
keep up the good work and DON’T SHOUT is our watchword(s).