Sunday, 7 June 2009

Little steps back

Even though I am awaiting some not so lovely test results I can feel my change of thought swaying once again to the positive side. On contemplation in recent days/weeks I have realised I have taken on far too much and, if I was to continue going down that same path, I would end up very ill, unhappy and...well, in places I never want to be.

I realised I had been living life far too much for others and not nearly as much for myself. When you're a wife, a parent, a chef, a house-keeper, a business-owner, a worker etc etc life becomes a game of catch-up. Some days are seamless, others aren't. I realised, in amongst all of this whirlwind of life, was little ol me. I had forgotten about me.

I think this is a female thing...the forgetting about you part. I have put myself in the back for a long time and had forgotten how to feed my spirit and my soul. I felt overwhelmed with life as I had forgotten how to feed myself, to build my solid groundwork so that life didn't seem so chaotic. As that groundwork crumbled, so did I.

So I am slowly remembering me again. I love me. Seriously - I do. I have always liked myself - partially as I am an only child and I had to amuse myself day in, day out. I have also achieved a lot in life and recognise that, so I am definitely a proud me. But then I started to do too much and I forgot how much I loved just being with silent with myself.

So in the past weeks we have taken days and days away from business and responsibility. We have escaped as a family to Queenscliffe and to Daylesford. We have laughed and played. I have read and had some wonderful quiet time. I can feel myself growing back again.

I have decided to write a promise list for myself. I wrote my first one yesterday. It's a weekly list to guide me through the week and to remind myself I am completely humand and have limitations within my 'roles' of business owner, wife, Mum, friend, advisor etc etc. Most of all, it is a list simply for me to remind myself to care about me :). I'll revisit the list next Sunday and see how I go...

The photos? Part of our storage area. Yes - here's a glipse of what is ahead for us. None of this is on the website, as yet :) - and, yes, dear readers...this is only about a third of our unloaded stock. Little steps getting this stock up for sale...

3 comments:

i can totally relate to this post. it's so hard trying to remember ourselves, especially with two little ones to keep us occupied (i have two little boys) and boy! do i miss the silent time with myself that i used to enjoy so often before they came along. don't get me wrong, i love them to bits but gawd they seem to suck the energy out of me some days!hang in there lovely, and keep up your great positive attitude - it makes all the differnce!((hugs))candice(aka dearcandy on twitter)PS i am LOVING all that fabric!!!!