1000

So this is a very disorganized post. But I just want to point out that this is the 1000th post to this lj/blog. 1000 posts spanning *pauses to count* almost six years. That’s a lot of posts. Almost one every two days. Apparently I have a lot of opinions and random thoughts to share. That’s a pretty darn huge portion of my life recorded here. When I started, I’d just finished my first year of undergrad. I still had my appendix (though that was to go shortly). I still hung out with Mike. I thought I was straight. I’d never been kissed. I’d never been drunk. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.
That’s a lot of big stuff that’s changed. Most of the important things haven’t. My closest friends have stayed the same, and my family remains awesome. I’m still driven to succeed, and my values are still important. They’ve come out more in this space though. Six years ago I was afraid to be too loud about it, and very undeveloped in my opinions. I knew I was excessively liberal and passionate in my opinions, but I didn’t know much else and was afraid of making waves. That’s changed (coming out had a lot to do with that…). I’m loud now, and I think I’ve forgotten how not to be. It’s been a wonderful learning experience, to learn to stretch my voice and be comfortable with my own volume. If I’ve accomplished nothing else with this, I’ve taught myself some confidence.
I want to make some goals, though, for between now and 2000. I got my bachelors during the first thousand; I want my masters and my PhD during the next. Assuming it’s six years again, I’d like to be married by 2000. Maybe have a kid or two. I’d like to have a real job and be settled in a place that I get to live in permanently. Wow, *laughs* I’m very excited to think of all these things. These have been my goals for a long time, but I’ve never put a time table on them. Six years, though, is a long time, and all those things are possible in six years. Heck, in six years I’ll be thirty. So there it is: in six years, I want all those boring stable grown up things. I want to be settled. I’d also like to still be writing this in six years. It’s grown up with me, and I want to see where it goes next.
I’d like to raise a toast to you, dear readers. Some of you have been reading my absurd ramblings since the first post. Some are very recent. All of you are appreciated. This would be a very different and much smaller space if you weren’t there. Here’s to you.

"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."
— Charles Bukowski