Animation by Adam Gates

Leading up to the day of the
big May 7 netcast event,
we have Tales From The Road filtering in. These Primus road
reports are brimming with audio and video gems and other chunky morsels.
Say, this is almost better than Christmas, ain't it?

Also check out the
first installment of Primus Tour Manager
Chris "Trous" Cuevas' reports in Addicted To Noise.

Hello from the desk
of Bob C. Cock(pictured left)

Well those three no good, cheesy bastards Primus are out on the road
again, causing all kinds of trouble I'm sure. What they need is a good
ass kicking if you ask me. Those good for nothing bastards! If it
wasn't for me BOB C COCK they wouldn't have a peg leg to stand on! But
I really love em, especially Larry..cause he's so cute. They had asked
me to tour with them, but due to my intensive tour schedule of
Barmitzvas and county fair puppet shows I had to bow out. I think they
can go it alone this time, besides they cant keep asking old' Bob C
Cock to bale them out every tour can they? They have to learn to act
like big boys when Bob is away!

But fear not! Because I know how much you fans just love road stories I
hired Mr. Soya, the original Monkey Boy, to get up to date interviews
with the band, the crew and whoever else is dumb enough to talk with
him. You shall see the horrid conditions they all have to endure to
bring you quality entertainment, from the stinky backstage area where
the crew rub down Les "Mr. Entertainment" Claypool with exotic oils
nightly,to the cruel and inhumane sleeping conditions forced upon Larry
"the Gimp" LaLonde (he sleeps in a urine sample cup in the trunk of the
crew bus)! And finally see for the very first time how Herb programs
his bionic arms before every show.

It's all true, and I bring it to you because I love you dearly!

So keep your eyes peeled to the MediaCast page to see these exotic
sights! No one cares like I do!