College Fashion Don’ts

I know all my dear readers want to know about the trends and fashions on college campuses, so let me give you a few fool-proof outfits to make sure you fit in. These are outfits that make a statement – actually, they make multiple statements. They say, “Whatever time my morning class is, it’s too early”, “I like being comfy”, “I woke up late”, and “I don’t really care what people think.”

So. For the girls:

This outfit has multiple components. First, you need to find your favorite sweatshirt. Now, sweatshirts are baggy anyway, but this is preferably a size or two too big. Next, you need baggy sweatpants. They should not match the sweatshirt. Tuck them into your UGG boots, and pull your hair back into a lopsided and bumpy ponytail, or a messy knot on the top of your head. It’s important that you don’t comb it first. If you usually wear contacts, find your old glasses, and top it off by taking one of the wide cloth/elastic headbands and pulling your hair back perfectly flat.

For the guys, this doesn’t require as much thought. The essential component is flannel pajama pants; just wear them everywhere. You can also wear them under the jeans that have a hole bigger than your hand; the important part is that they are obvious.

If you do this, guys and girls, you will certainly fit in.

And, girls, another popular style is to wear spandex with your UGG boots. This looks slightly better than sweatpants and boots, as long as you are wearing a long top – which most people ignore. The end result is that it just looks bad. I don’t recommend this approach.