Good news for fans of Neon Genesis Evangelion and people who enjoy wearing underpants: The official Evangelion Store in Japan will offer a veritable mountain of Eva-themed frilly-lace panties and men's underpants next month. The bad news? They're ugly as hell.

Look, I'm not saying all underpants need to be sexy — far from it — but I am saying if you're going to sell a bunch of underwear based on an extremely popular anime series, perhaps you ought to give the design work to someone who didn't just figure out how to use Photoshop's color gradation tool. Check it:

The real tragedy is thinking about how many great concepts could have been used and weren't. Who wouldn't want their bathing suit areas guarded by a Seele monolith ("SOUND ONLY")? Or Lilith hanging on the cross? Hell, even a small canister of toothpicks up on the crotch would be more fun than these.