motherhood and snarkiness go hand in hand…

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In order to be able to pay all of the bills, and make sure my son has everything he needs (child support only stretches so far), I had to take a full time job. Between working full time, catching up on all of the housework, spending time with my son, going to church, and everything else that goes on in my life, my blog has definitely suffered. Which makes me sad. I had such high hopes for it, and I still want it to be a success. It’s just really hard right now.

I LOVE my job. I’m a barista at a coffeeshop, and it’s a lot of fun. I HATE that I have to put my son in daycare, though. 😦 They won’t allow me to send him with cloth diapers, so I’m having to use sposies for 9 out of 10 diaper changes. It’s almost made it not worth using cloth at all anymore. However, I have to do what I have to do to provide a good life for my kid, and if it means we can’t cloth diaper, I’m sure he’d rather a roof over his head, and food in his belly. THAT I can definitely give him. So, right now, I’m considering our lives to be a success. I’m doing it on my own, I’m happy, my son is happy. I’m proud of myself right now, and I hope others are proud of me too. It would have been so easy to give up. Much easier, in fact. But I didn’t. I’m pressing on, I’m forging my own way, and the two of us are just fine!

Well, it’s time to go change clothes over from the washer to the dryer, unload and reload the dishwasher, and try to decide what to make for dinner. A mommy’s work is never done, even on what should be a lazy Sunday! I’ll try to update again much sooner!

Today was the Annual Great Cloth Diaper Change, an event in which moms simultaneously change their babies into cloth diapers, all around the world, in the hopes of breaking a Guinness World Record. We’ve broken the record the last 2 years, and although the official numbers haven’t come back yet, we really hope to have broken it a third time this year.

This years local event was sponsored by Angel Britches (my FAVORITE cloth diaper store) and was at the Mall of Louisiana. Also, *I* got to be one of the hostesses for the event this year! We had SUCH a blast, meeting up with friends, showing new people how awesome cloth diapers are, and trying to break that record. Tereson from Fuzzibunz Cloth Diapers showed up to our event, gave a speech about how she got started in the cloth diaper business AND gave each of us participants a free Fuzzibunz One Size Elite pocket cloth diaper. I’ll be reviewing it here just as soon as I get it prepped for use…I’m SO excited to try it!

We had some AWESOME giveaways, too! Moby gave us Moby Swaddle Blankets, Onya Baby Carriers sent us an awesome Onya Soft Structured Carrier, and Williams-Sonoma gave us a Vitamix blender!! I was sad that I didn’t win the Onya, I really, REALLY want one! I might just have to ask them if they’ll let me review one here on the blog for you guys!

Anyways, a great time was had by all of us, and I’m already looking forward to next year’s event!

Today is day 6 of being a single mom, and you know what? I got this! The first couple of days, I was scared absolutely shitless. I mean, who wouldn’t be, especially when it was the LAST thing you expected?? Then I found out some things (that I’m going to keep private, thankyouverymuch) that made me decide that there is absolutely no way in this lifetime or the next that I’ll be getting back together with, or trying to work things out with, my ex. That threw me for a loop for a couple of days, too.

But now, I feel so much more confident in my ability to do this.

I’m cleaning my house out, from one end to the other. I’m getting rid of clothes I don’t wear, stuff Nathaniel has outgrown, old toys, and other stuff. My dad is going to help me fix all of the damage that my ex caused (holes in the walls, doors knocked off hinges), and I’m taking my house back and making it MINE. Well, OURS, as in me and Nathaniel’s.

And I feel so much more at peace! I don’t have a sense of dread when I come home. My anxiety and depression have both lessened SO dramatically. I’m happy, for the first time in I can’t even remember when.

Today, I got shoved rather violently into the one place I never thought I would be: single-parenthood. And I have to confess, I’m terrified. How do I do it all by myself? How do I care for myself AND this tiny little human who depends on me for his everything, with no help at all, when I’ve never had to fend for myself before? How do I cope?

This has been coming for awhile, but it still hurts. I will, however, make one promise. I will not talk bad about my former fiance. Not here, not on Facebook. I never want to be “that mom”, the one who talks horribly about my son’s father, especially where my son can hear me, or in a public forum where the possibility is out there that Nathaniel may come across it one day in the future and read it. No matter our issues with each other, Jeffrey is a great father, and our son adores him. I just hope that he gets the help he so desperately needs, so he can continue to be a good father.

For now, all I can do is pick myself up, brush myself off, and keep on keeping on. My son needs me to keep it together, and take care of him. He’s one. He doesn’t know his mommy’s heart is broken, And it is. Maybe irretrievably so. So I’ll venture on this path as a single parent, and do the best I can with a bad situation. Keep my family in your thoughts, dear readers, we desperately need all of the good thoughts we can get. Thank you.

This post is a shout-out to Katherine over at Wife Of A Hero Military Jewelry! I love, love, LOVE her jewelry, and wanted to give her some well-deserved recognition. I’ve ordered 2 special pieces from her so far, in support of my veteran, and I have another custom charm being created right now to honor my grandfather, who was a Navy WWII veteran!

Above is the custom “Wife Of A Hero” sterling silver Pandora charm she made for me, and the Army camo sterling silver Pandora bead that is ONLY available through Wife Of A Hero Military Jewelry. She had them custom designed and made especially for her store, and they are absolutely amazing. When you order from Katherine, you receive very high quality, sterling silver, custom-stamped jewelry, and as a bonus, you’re helping to support soldiers! Katherine is a full-time “soldier’s angel”. Most of the proceeds from her jewelry goes towards supporting deployed and wounded soldiers and veterans.

Anyone who knows me knows that supporting our troops and veterans is something very important to my heart, and Katherine and her beautiful jewelry is a “sterling” (you see what I did there?) example of someone who definitely supports our troops!

Disclaimer: This product was not provided for me as a product to review, nor was a paid to review it. I purchased the product myself and tried it out myself.

The reviews I had heard on this product were mixed and varied. Most people seemed to find the sizing quite difficult on it. For myself, for the one I ordered, I had my sister in law measure me the way it showed how to on the website. After all the measurements, it came out to Size 4, so that’s what I ordered.

What I ordered was NOT what I got, not what I expected at all. Basically the Seven Sling is a loop of cotton/spandex fabric that fits crossbody, and is supposed to hold your baby snugly against you. The only problem is that mine, that I ordered exactly the way the website told me to do, was SO tight that I couldn’t slip a teddy bear into that sling, let alone a squirmy human baby with a lot more breakable features. And I am NOT some huge girl, so I was fairly disgusted that the product didn’t fit. This is one company I will go out of my way to avoid, and I recommend the same to anyone considering ordering one of them. You get much better coverage and carrying-confidence from a ring sling, or a soft-structured carrier like an Ergo or Boba, or even a jersey wrap like a Moby. However Seven Slings is NOT where it’s about. 3 out of 10 baby bottles!

Today I’m reviewing the BumGenius 4.0 pocket diaper, sold at http://www.thanksmama.com. First off, a disclaimer: BumGenius DID NOT provide me with this diaper, and Jenn has no idea that I’m even reviewing her product. I purchased it myself, and am reviewing it myself so others can know what they’re buying before they do so.

First of all, these diapers are FANTASTIC. Seriously. Amazingly, unbelievably FANTASTIC. This is one of the ONLY pocket diapers I trust at night for my heavy-wetter son, and they’ve yet to disappoint me. I can use the full size insert that comes with them, and the newborn insert that I use as a doubler, and voila: NO LEAKS! The newborn insert is super thin, so doesn’t add too much bulkiness to the diaper, and they work just so well.

And just look at that print!! How can you NOT adore their “Albert” print, which is a BumGenius exclusive?? It and Lovelace are two of my absolute favorite BumGenius diapers, and my son wears them BOTH with pride.

So, my review of BumGenius 4.0 Pocket Diapers is: DEFINITELY BUY! They’re worth the money for quality workmanship, and knowing you’ll wake up with a dry and happy baby. I know I always do! Thank you Jenn and BumGenius for yet another wonderful product! 9 out of 10 baby bottles (and 9 is only because I hope to see Jenn come out with some amazing BG Artist Series designs for me to put on my baby’s booty!)

HOW is my son about to turn a year old in less than 2 weeks? Where did the time go?

I know so many told me, “Don’t blink, or you’ll miss it.” I dismissed this as silliness. How could I NOT notice my son grow up right before my very eyes? But they were right. It happens almost in an instant. They go from being dependent on you carrying them everywhere, to scooting, to crawling, to pulling up, and finally to walking. Or, if they’re MY son, they start crawling, walking, running (behind a push toy) AND cutting 4 teeth ALL at the same time!

And I just want to say, “Slow down. Be my baby just a little bit longer. Let me snuggle you, and rock you to sleep.” Right now he’s 27 pounds and 32 inches tall, almost the size of an average 2 year old. Hard to believe this is the same little 5 pound boy I brought home from the NICU.

But he has my heart. And he always will. No matter what goes on in my life, he is why I wake up each morning, and he is the last thing I see before I go to bed each night.

We’re planning a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party. He LOVES “Giggey”, especially the Hot Dog Dance. We’re going to have a Hot Diggity Dog Hot Dog Bar where guests are creating their own hot dogs with “Mickey’s Hot Diggity Dogs”, “Donald’s Ducky Dill Relish”, Minnie’s Marvelous Mustard”, “Clarabelle’s Catsup”, “Pluto’s Doggy Buns”, “Pete’s ‘Politan Ice Cream”, and so on and so forth. It should be a great time, and I hope my little Mouseketeer enjoys it. As for me, I’ll probably end up hiding somewhere crying as my baby becomes a toddler…