Sunday, 18 August 2013

You can count on me like one, two, three......

Friendship can be a wonderful, fulfilling, nurturing and
mutually enjoyable experience for many people.It can also be painful, frustrating, maddening and bewildering
also.It all depends on what kind of person
you are, and of course the kind of people you are friends with.We all have those wonderful friends that you
know even if you don’t see each other very often that when you do get together
it is as if no time had passed.You talk
for hours, you laugh, you cry, you catch up and at the end you part after
having had a wonderful time and looking forward to the next catch up.There are no assumptions, no demands...no
consequences.

Some friends are hard work.They require a certain amount of effort from
you to keep the friendship going and sometimes after spending time with them
you feel drained and exhausted. They always
manage to steer the conversation around to themselves, you have to meet on
their terms, where they want and when and they walk over your emotions because
it is “all about them”. Sometimes they even make you feel guilty
because you haven’t done or said what they wanted...like you have disappointed them.But do they have any right to make you feel
that way?Friendship is a relationship
that needs give and take from both people.If the balance is not there, then no wonder you feel like this friendship
is hard work.If a friend comes to
console and support you but then turns the situation around so that you are
forced to be the support – how can that be mutually fulfilling? If it is always
you that has to make the phone call, always you that has to organise the get-togethers,
always you that has to make the effort – that’s not a friendship – it’s a
Social Secretaries job.

And what happens when you are friends with someone, but
another of their friends really rubs you the wrong way?This can be a really tricky situation.You don’t like the way they act, you don’t
like the things they say and you certainly don’t like they way they treat your
mutual friend.But do you have the right
to say or do anything?They are not your
friend...they are your friend’s friend.You are friends by association so really the only option is to avoid
them – without making your friend feel uncomfortable when you are both at the
same function or forcing your friend to pick sides.Why make it harder on your friend when it is
not their fault?

I personally do not have a lot of friends.I have a few close friends whom I know I can
trust and if I ever need help, they wouldn’t hesitate and vice-versa. They are
wonderful, strong, loyal people and I dearly love all of them. And of course I know other people who I might
catch up with for dinner or get together every now and again, but if they moved
to another state tomorrow, I wouldn’t be devastated like I would if it were one
of my close friends. To me these friends are the real essence of friendship and
I treasure the time we spend together.They
make my life’s moments more wonderful and more bearable. They are the Coco to my Chanel...the train to
my carriage...the bacon to my eggs.So...what kind of friend are you?