Thursday, May 6, 2010

It's about the layers of incompetence

According to the Obama administration, the airline appeared to drop the ball on Monday by not consulting an updated list when the Times Square suspect purchased his ticket. A post-9/11 requirement that airlines provide Customs and Border Protection officials with lists of passengers 30 minutes before departure kept Shahzad from leaving the country.

Obama administration officials say this is why the aviation security system has multiple layers. Emirates airlines officials did not respond to requests for comment about their role in the security lapse.

It all starts with a secret list of like a Yahzillion people on the planet who may or may not want to blow up a plane. A list like the no-fly list needs to be as comprehensive as humanly possible, because you never know who may be the next terrorist; so that means at least half the country needs to be on it just to be certain that we have the right bad people, only now we need lots of government worker bees to constantly scrutinize the list to make sure we stop the terrorists at the 11th hour. Lots of oversight, baby!

The solution of course is more money! More money is needed to purchase uniforms and brass badges for the ten thousand new employees who will slave away night and day frisking babies and the elderly, just to keep them from doing anything stupid.

I guess the next thing that needs to happen is to make sure we strip the rights from those jaded people on the no-fly list so they can't buy a gun or open a bank account, because it seems that the terrorists, like Faisal Shahzad, pay for their plane tickets with cash. To stop them from getting on a plane, we must stop them from getting cash. Too easy! And who the hell would argue that barring half a million peaceable people from buying a gun isn't a small price to pay to stop one wannabe terrorist from buying one months before he tries to detonate a car bomb in a crowded city? Sssssssmart logic!! We must close the terror gap!!

Think about how crazy it is to actually let those hundreds of thousands of good people on the no-fly list purchase a firearm without so much as a body cavity check, or even a good water-boarding just to make sure that they don't "try to go out and kill some Americans;" amongst those people are the two hundred who are denied a gun purchase every year for being on a list that they can't see. Two hundred!!! These are bloodthirsty citizens, folks; they're on the secret list!

And how could they ever claim that they didn't know they were on the list? Sure, it's secret and all, but you can't claim ignorance when you're certain that you're a terrorist. When you know, you know; and those who are not terrorists that somehow make it on the list. . . .not saying that that happens or anything, but if it did and they get arrested for buying a Marlin .22 for their grandson. . . .well fuck it then - serves em' right for having a stupid name like Ben Ladden. Besides, we're talking about saving lives here!

Personally, I would also include citizens who wear underwear. Hell, we should even go as far as banning SUVs. They seem to be used a lot in attacks against the home land. Can't be too careful these days.