On writing, longing, knowing eternal love and the search for peace and cake.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Are you Off Course?

Following my self indulgent yet honest post yesterday, I feel a tad better today.
So thank you dear blog world of public therapy! Your check is in the post.

Here is my Top Sixteen pointers that suggest you are 'off course' on your life journey.
If you respond yes to one or two points, you are doing OK just remain aware
If you respond yes to more than four points, you need to take a quick hop back on track
If you respond yes to more than eight points, you need to leap back on track
If you respond yes to more than ten points, I know a great therapist

1) You wake up with a hang over from cake rather than alcohol
2) You take photos of yourself to prove you can still smile
3) The term "pop of color" means you put a grey tank top with your black outfit
4) You print MapQuest directions, just in case the GPS is wrong
5) You watched the DNC speeches last night hoping to see George Clooney
6) For the longest time you realize you've been saying GNC instead of DNC
I had always wondered how a health store could sponsor so openly
7) You say out loud to yourself - "my hands smell like old people"
8) You had marked your calendar at Sept 4th, as a reminder that Kelly Ripa was finally
declaring who her new co host would be
9) You apologize to international readers that point 8 will only make sense to USA readers
10) Every time you hear the term hash-tag - you crave hash-browns
11) During the Chicos Slimming Jeans commercial you shout out "but they are already skinny" every single time that commercial is aired
12) You apologize to international readers that point 11 will only make sense to USA readers
13) You cannot work out how to offer friendship on Facebook
14) You do not trust ending anything on number 13
15) And by that I mean everything
16) You work out that a local dog sounds like he is saying Arsehole when he barks and you spend an afternoon trying to get the impression exactly right