My First Times…My first real job

Maybe I found the perfect summer job, but I was a frustrated student. I felt like I didn’t learn anything very useful in college. I was haunted by the idea of my first steps into the world of work, which seemed like a giant black hole where I would disappear into a sea of grey suits.

I spent my time ditching classes and partying entire weekends, wondering what I’d do with my life, making music and putting together rock concerts with my best friend, which I didn’t think of as a serious activity or something we could do as a career.

But of course it couldn’t be, because I enjoyed it.

So I had a good time, but thinking about my future… Made me so anxious. I could cry.

And then one day, I had to find an internship at the end of the year. I was studying communication at the time, so I could try pretty much anywhere because hey, everyone needs to communicate. And since I like contemporary art well enough, I got an interview at the MOCA in my town.

I prettied myself up, and almost totally emptied my bank account to get a pair of boots, took a nice deep breath before entering into the director’s office who… scared the shit out of me.

The meeting didn’t last long. I said goodbye politely and then practically leapt down the stairs to get outside to take a breath. And in my frenzied escape, I heard:

“Nice boots.”

I raised my head and right there in front of me, a tall, smiling man, looking straight at me. He had a rather rare elegance in my world populated by rockers in slim cut jeans. I blushed and said, “Thanks, but they ruined me!” He smiled, and I was off.

The next day, my phone rang.

At first I didn’t really understand who was talking to me, but then I realized it was the guy that I ran into for a second the day before. He was the director of the cinema department of the museum. His name was B. He loved my boots, and from this simple moment of inspiration, he decided I would be the perfect intern. He talked to the director of the MOCA who, I imagine, gave me away without a second thought.

A pair of boots. Voilà. That’s how I ended up working in cinema.

The theaters that B took care of were exciting. He decided what would be shown, and every month he put together a program the same way you put together the perfect menu. Each time, he would chose a theme, and go through tons of films, old classics or modern wonders, unknown or blockbusters, and put together the most amazing programs.

As for me, my role was to talk about what was being shown in the press.

Without me knowing, I was becoming the new cinema PR person.

With absolutely no idea what I was doing.

My first days were painful. I spent hours upon hours behind my desk trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Every time B had his back turned, I called my best friend, who was a journalist, and way smarter than me, and she explained everything to me with more patience than I could believe.

I cursed my teachers who didn’t teach me how to make a phone call. I was writing press releases as a compilation of all the ones I could find (and this is before the explosion of the internet!).

I always waited for B. to leave so I could make my phone calls to journalists and oh man, I’d get so red, I could barely talk, and I’d say utter nonsense to them, especially if I called Inrocks or Libé, (these magazines were demi-gods to me at the time). I’d have total blackouts and hang up. Classy.

But not so fast, at the end of long work weeks full of perseverance, my internship became a real job and I got more organized, less freaked out, and starting getting results: the theaters were filling up.

There weren’t just moments of total break down, I should say. B and I got along great. Both of us had pretty much the exact same ratio of craziness to joy. We cracked up constantly and talked all the time.

He saw something in me and decided to let me put together my own programs.

Here was someone brilliant who immediately had faith in me. Here was a dreamer pushing me to work harder and making me go see movies, “C’mon already,” he’d say. “This way you’ll know why you’re working.” Ahah, oh but he was so right.

What happened because of this first experience is that I realized that I’m capable of… working. And even loving what I do! I understood that with energy and desire, you learn quickly. I was starting having just a little bit of that faith in myself.

Just enough to tell myself that maybe, maybe, maybe, if I applied myself to the point of delirium, maybe, one day, I could do what I always dreamed of doing: illustration. I never went to art school and I didn’t have a single connection in that world. I didn’t even know if I could draw.

Well really, I knew nothing at all.

I just had the impression that if I didn’t try it, I would always have this regret deep inside of me. I had finally grown up enough to be ready to take some risks. And above all, I knew if it didn’t work out, well, it wouldn’t kill me, you know? I could always work in PR, or be a wind surfing instructor in a nudist colony, voilà.

345 comments

Garance –
Merci beaucoup!! I read this post at the most perfect moment, you cannot even imagine!! I dream of being an illustrator, too, and I spend much of my free time drawing and drawing and drawing girls in beautiful clothes, meanwhile trying to get a paying job in this crazy economy. It is rough, but your words are so inspiring, and remind me to keep on trucking along and dreaming and wanting and striving.
All the best,
Be

Such an inspiring stroy, I truly enoyed reading it. I am currently in university and clueless about my future. Your story really inspired me to pursue the things i love, one of which is writing. I was just wondering how u got started, what steps did u take to arrive where u are now?
thanks :)

this is the start of a fabulous book that i would purchase! your next step is to stop writing this all here on your awesome site, and get to a publisher. love it! thank you for sharing your fabulous thoughts with us…

its amazing what being in the right place at the right time with great style can bring you. i always seem to be over dressed for everything i do so maybe i will run into the right person. this is a great story and something to look up to, thanks for writing.

Well said Garance. I think most people do not realise their true capacity to work until they find something that they are truly passionate about. To find this in one lifetime is a luxury that many will not enjoy. I am also fortunate enough to pursue what I love for a living. If everyone was doing what they loved- what a world we would live in!

great story! actually, I am in the exactsame situation right now. am currently doing an internship in Zurich (Switzerland) and am going crazy as to how my future will look like.. we`ll see. hehe I`d love to see a pic (or illustration=)) of those boots that saved your life! XX

Thank you for this wonderful and inspirational story! sometimes I have the same thoughts and doubts in my head and it can be a little painful when you don’t have a clear vision of future and don’t know where to move// I’m glad that you found your proper way in life and do what you’ve always been dreaming about!! hope that I’ll find mine too)

Garance, I’m on the edge of my seat to read how the rest of the story turns out… I too studied Communications, but always wanted to be an illustrator. I’m working a 9-5 in order to pay for evening classes in art school starting in September, hoping that I can turn my life around to what I’ve always hoped for. Merci for your story & your wonderful website.

I love reading your posts on how you got started. Your line about how you felt “thinking about my future… Made me so anxious. I could cry.” That’s how I feel now. I’m studying communications too and wondering whether I can actually work or find something I like that won’t intimidate me to point of craziness.

This is so inspiring! Growing up you’re made to believe that a “real” job is not something you’re going to be passionate about… it’s just a way to pay the bills. I am just now wrapping my head around the fact that it’s possible to follow your dreams and do something that you love as your full time job. I feel like I’ve had to change my way of thinking. It’s liberating.

Garance, you NEVER fail to inspire. I’m sure everyone reading this post can relate in some way. For me, my favorite part was when you dropped all that cash on the boots; I’m a true believer in putting up the extra dough for something truly wonderful and original to set you apart from the rest of the pack!

Oh, how wonderful that you tried to do what you wanted to do. You are very courageous. Your illustrations are amazing!
I think that without failure some time in our life, we don’t get the highs, but only boring middle of the potential that we have.

your last paragraph is so inspiring and beautiful, you should put it somewhere where people can see it every time they visit- i’m at a point in my life where we’re in the final years at school and now have to start making actual life decisions- where you said you were scared of getting lost in a sea of grey suits, that’s exactly what i’m scared of too!
thanks for this article :)

Love your journey…and your faith in yourself. I also look at things that I want to do or at least try…and say that I don’t want to think back one day, “what if”…so I try my best to push myself to go after things I want. I’m looking forward to your next post about your start in Illustration. I just started last year.

Isn’t it funny how one small thing can set forth an entire ripple of effects that changes your life? It makes everything you do seem critical, even something as simple as picking out your footwear. Who knows where you’d be if you decided to wear flats that day.

I’m speechless!! I started reading and I couldn’t stop. I’m hooked on the story and can’t wait to know more ….
Garance, you are really good, I really think you should start a writing career, truly!
And lovely illustration too.

A pair of boots and your life changes, amazing story. The journey of life, with its bends and turns and twists, and you never know who’s gonna be around the bend and change your life completely. They say that every thing happens for a reason, there are no random circumstances. You are given options, some people take the chance and risk it and some don’t, some times you loose (I know I have) and some you win, and its ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and move on. You fall, you get up again (I know I have), it’s part of the learning process of living, the maturing process, otherwise how can you truly evolve as an individual if you don’t make mistakes, just means you haven’t done anything in life, haven’t built anything for your self and nothing could be more boring !!!

The butterfly attracted to the light, ethereal and fragile, but with a purpose in life, the restless of fulfilling her destiny – youth…. Beauty and lightness with brains, what a combination!
There is nothing shallow about you, Garance, and always with an elegance and humour in your writing, whether your talking about bags or sunglasses eyebrow team, or telling the story of your life!

Thank you for your honesty, it’s becoming a rare commodity these days!

Ton histoire est vraiment belle. But because I’ve forgot all the French learned in school, I’m gonna continue in English, sorry :( Your story is inspiring and optimistic for me. I’m almost 30 and this fall I’m gonna move to London, start a MA in Digital Media and a new life, away from home, friends and my beloved cat. I feel somehow like you and I hope that at least school will be inspiring. I secretly wanted to come to Paris to study but, after learning French my entire life, I realized I can’t cope with the level of language needed in a French university. Anyway, thank you for your inspiring words as I am scared like shit because of this total change in my life :)))))))

I’m 14 and I love your posts, so much so that your site has been bookmarked on my phones homepage, I would love to follow in your footsteps however I have no idea of what career I want to pursue. You are pushing me towards my dreams, my inspiration is you, thankyouu :) xxx

It is amazing that someone so poised and together as you seem to be felt so unsure of herself at first. Every woman reading your post can identify. And the story of the expensive boots – lots of girls justify an extravagant purchase on the basis that it will help them get the man/the job/the admiration of others. Good to see that you actually made that moment of financial madness pay off!

I feel so lucky to read the story that makde me feel everthing can be dreamed so long as you believe and passionate for, it’s really insparational and encouraging, I love it! Thanks for telling it I will always keep it. I such adore this site, beautiful.

I am so glad reading your history, I found myself in quite a similar situation now, finishing university (art history), with a sense of not getting what I tought I would get out of it, but with lots of stories about parties and travelling around. and getting freak out thinking of the fiture!

It is very inspiring to read this, I really felt reflected on your story

I just graduated from college and had ZERO idea what I want to do. To delay working, I applied to grad school in computer security (a field I picked right before clicking the “submit” button for the application). I was terrified of the future (enough to breakdown once, computer security = CIA/FBI = not me, and I was afraid I will never find anything I want to do). Your post is comforting and thank you so much for writing this post.

Garance,
This is lovely and inspiring to those of us at any age. As a woman over 50, who has just been laid off from my job, I refuse to believe that looking and feeling stylish and energetic won’t be an advantage as I chart my new course.

I really can’t tell you how great it is to read these things. I’m a hopeless college student who desperately wants to have hope for life post-college. And knowing that you ended up doing exactly what you wanted even though that wasn’t the path you were on is SUCH REASSURANCE. Thank you so much!

The history of your work experience is a true inspiration. I myself am trying to find the job that is fun that I will want to do for life! Hearing your story makes me want to take risks in my choices! and I agree spending money on shoes is completely worth it ;) Like Carrie Bradshaw says, a vogue magazine will fill you better than a sandwich!

That’s amazing. I always believe that everything will work out beautifully if you’re doing what you enjoy. You really never know where a little decision might lead you to. Especially so when it’s a simple pair of boots!

Garance, I have recently become a dedicated follower of your blog and I think your story is so poignant. I can relate to your story more than I’d even like to admit because it pretty much describes my life as it stands right now. You are a true talent.

Reading your story got me teary-eyed. Your story is truly inspiring. It gave me guts to to jump into the rabbit hole. You have an amazing gift, Garance, of inspiring people especially women with your story, your illustrations, your photos, and your words. xxx

i really enjoyed reading this piece. i am a communications student and am currently interning at a magazine and your experience was so congruent to what i am experiencing now. my first day was spent reading old issues of the magazine. i now have less doubts about my future.

What happens when your future is here and now… and you don’t want to be where you wound up? Your story has inspired me to do something about it! I’ve been a greeting card designer for 11 years at the same company…and my fire has totally fizzled.

thank you! I’m a student right now. I study “cultural science”, meaning everything between creative writing, media studies, arts and philosophy. I have the feeling of knowing everything a little bit but not knowing anything useful at all or even be an expert. i don’t know how I will work later when I haven’t learned anything. it’s nice to know that a successfull person as you are had the same feeling in the beginning. i’m at my 100st (kidding, but it feels like my 100st) internship now and it’s the first time ever I have the slight feeing that this is what i want to do and that, on top of that, i might be capable of doing it. so your post was very encouraging!! je t’adore :)

They say a picture says a thousand words. Well when a drawing says one you know its special…. Then when you write a magicalpost like the one above your just spoiling us. Loved reading it and would love you to draw me. xx

What perfect timing this is for me, reading this. I’m 25 and trying my hardest what it is that I want to pursue in life. It’s kind of crazy the amount of pressure one can put on oneself. You never think about your life not unfolding perfectly :)

I just love this story. Thank you for posting it.

PS: I can definitely identify with the intense blushing…such a pain! :)

Garance, I love hearing your stories about your first jobs. This one in particular was very inspiring and helpful especially because I will be in the same position very soon. I really hope that these stories continue.

Wow. This story is inspiring and your illustrations are amazing. So many times I’ve felt like I didn’t know what I was doing and literally blushed while talking on the phone for fear that my ineptitude was showing. I’m glad you decided to do what you love!

Garance, I wanna be just like you when I grow up! :)) No, seriously, you have no idea how much your story makes me want to follow my dreams, work hard and be good at something. And most importantly, you make me believe that it’s possible to do what you love for a living. You should really consider writing a book, I’d be the first one to buy it!

You are a true inspiraion, Garance! Being a young woman about to decide what to study, I find it extremly important to follow one’s dreams in order to find the energy and will to learn the trade and grow as a person. Your story about persuing your passion is a great inspiration. Thank you for being honest as well! You are sincere, and tell about the hard times you had as well! This gives some reality to your story, which is much apprechiated. Thank you!

Very enlightening! It shows that with dedication, it is possible to enjoy one’s work! I did different things with my life but, in a sense, I am heading in the same direction (though I would never manage to be an illustrator, of course!) Thanks for the inspiration.

I see you’ve experienced what I’m going through right now… I’m doing two different degrees and I quite enjoy studying but both my majors mostly finish in an office job… and I already know it’s not for me. And I have no idea what to do with my “career”… My dream job would be one involving food/fashion, photography and travelling… maybe one day I’ll find means and courage to open my own wineshop or a shop with mediterranean food… :)

I’m really glad that you told us about your first real job. Right now I’m still in high school, but I still feel the same frustrations as you did when you were in college. You have inspired me more than once with your words, and this time probably tops it all off. Thank you.

Garance, I love your reading your posts. You seem so incredibly grounded for someone who works in fashion. As I am currently an intern, I can totally relate to how you felt back then! I just hope that I, too, will eventually have a career I love. You’re an inspiration, Garance!

Thank you for sharing this story. I worked in journalism for years before going back to school. I am now preparing to enter the freelance market – a little wary of the tough economy and the the even tougher big city to which I have relocated. I find myself reveling in the skills I have honed over time, such as writing and making photos. I am also humbled by all of the new digital technology. (I used to feed negatives into a scanner at my old newspaper job!)

Thanks for the inspiration.

By the way, I agree with Michelle. If you still have the boots, you should post them.

Oh Garance….Thank you so much! This is a wonderful story! Not in a million years would I have thought it possible for you to have had such insecure (yet fortuitous) beginnings! I consider myself lucky to be alive in an age when people like you are kind enough to write candidly about themselves and provide a genuine source of inspiration for wide-eyed graduates with big dreams, big potential and a lack of trust in themselves.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
P.S. I join my fellow commentators in their desire to see the magical boots! :)

I hope you held on to those boots! I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, but felt compelled to write after this post. It is truly inspirational.

Like many of your readers, I too, am going through a period of “should I follow my dream”. I work 8-5 in a job that is fine enough, but not at all inspiring. The people are nice, it pays the bills, but it’s nothing I am passionate about. At 33 I feel like I am running out of time if I want to follow my dream and do something I am truly passionate about. Your post gave me a little extra nudge in the right direction. It’s truly inspirational to me and so many others! Merci beaucoup!

I completely understand the state you were in, I’m in it right now. I also have my degree in communication, but my heart only speaks music. I don’t want to get sucked into the corporate world because I know it will eat me alive and -God forbid- make me dull :)

By the way I adore your site and believe it or not, some of your illustrations and pictures are a huge inspiration when I’m making music.

Thank you for sharing your story; it really spoke to me. I too have crazy dreams of becoming an artist/illustrator. I have no schooling, no connections and, like you, no real concrete evidence that I even have talent. I am currently still in my first real job (and hating it) but I hope to take that leap very soon. Even if I fail, I don’t want to live without trying.

Hey,
I would write this in French, but unfortunately my language skills when it comes to French are minimalistic ;)
I just wanted to thank you for this post because it is people like you who inspire me to just get started. Even though there are tons of things that work against you – it is that playful and daring aspect in any creative process which is so self-sufficient – you just can’t ignore it..
uuh I wanted to keep this short but hey ;)
Bye

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story. I studied Illustration at university and i just graduated from school this spring. I was a very good student who studied and received good grades, but they don’t teach you how to get jobs. So it’s very scary being out in the real world now. My parents want me to get an office job. And i’m gathering the strength to pursue my art career.

I’d love to sell art prints and paintings. I’d also love to see my illustrations in magazines. I hope to achieve this and have a successful career. Wish me luck! Bonne chance à vous!

It’s so nice to know that even some of today’s biggest names in the fashion world had to start somewhere. I’ve certainly had moments when I felt clueless as an intern/at work but I think the most important message for ambitious people to hear is that you followed your passion and gave it a try.

very inspirational..thank you and your timing is great on this ,so many young and old people are wondering what to do in there lives..following the path of maximum interest and least resistance is truly the way.
may you always have and define success for yourself
cheers

Oh my goodness! This made me feel so much better! Seeing as how I’m only 15 and pretty much utterly confused and baffled about what i want to do with my life, this made me realize that things work out the way they’re supposed to. Thank you! :)

I love my job and the people I work with; but I’ve just started and like you did I find myself quietly freaking out and desperately doing as much as possible to figure out what I’m doing. It’s nice to know that ‘this too shall pass’.

Wow! You are so inspiring and I’m currently going through some of those things that you have described. I’m 20 and currently taking a semester off from university because in all honesty, I really don’t enjoy it at all. My dream is to be an illustrator! This story has inspired me to keep working hard at my dreams even if I can’t go to art school or don’t have any connections! Thank you so much for sharing.

it’s great to hear your stories…makes us feel a bit better…im 21 and very very anxious abt my future! i know im young but yet i hate the idea of staying at home or of working in a field that doesn’t fit with my ideals!!
ok so do you believe that our first job (even if it’s a bit decadent) should always be in the field we love?

I was on Google images searching for some face illustration examples and came across your beautiful illustration and then I read the first two sentences of your story “Maybe I found the perfect summer job, but I was a frustrated student. I felt like I didn’t learn anything very useful in college.” and I continued to read your full story. All this time I have been feeling like I am the only one who went to college and “didn’t learn anything useful”. I am still trying to figure out my path. I’ve been out of school for 2 yrs and still struggling to find the perfect job in the art world. I studied fashion design but I find myself trying to learn more about illustration. Where this will take me, I have no idea but I will embrace it, challenge myself and hope to one day land that job and feel like I made it. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m glad I read it….

Ahhh..I can totally relate to almost every last detail of your story (except for the doing what I love, I’m trying to figure that out currently). It is so wonderful to read the honest emotions and thoughts of someone navigating their way through the jungles of “work” and finding the right vine to swing from. In life you don’t hear enough people really share their struggles, thoughts and how they succeeded. I’m just hungry for more details! Like how did you make a living ($$) doing what you love? Did you dive right into illustration from communications? How did the logistics of the dream to reality all happen? You should do a book on this!

Garance, this was a breath of fresh air, really… I’m in my first job too, about to complete a year as an advertising illustrator (assistant, by the way), and I went through most of the things you experienced, such as thinking ‘but what did I LEARN in Art School, anyway?!’… I really like my job, even though I feel butterflies in my stomach every now and then (and hope that experience will make them go away). But it always feels good to remember that we can do what we love for a living. Thank you!

I have to say thank you for this post cause i identified to it so much that almost scarred me. The thing is: i’ve always loved fashion and never got through with it cause i was afraid and in doubt of my skills. but not as a fashion designer, but maybe as a writer or as a marketing and communications side of fashion. this is what i want to do. and this is my resolution for next year, and i’m walking towards it, having classes, working hard on my connections to achieve it. so i thank you again for this. cause if you love something, and you make it right, then you do it great and you are happy.
love your blog, its inspiring.

i’m glad i saw this just now because i’ve been having a very hard time struggling to try to fit into the “real world”. i’m 20 years old and i took a year off for personal reasons from school about a year ago so i’m pretty much just starting community college studying visual arts. I do want to work in the fashion industry, as a stylist is what I have always wanted to do, but apart from not having a clue as how to get to that position, I feel so behind in school, and I’m currently unemployed. I was working two jobs in clothing stores but became to realize retail isn’t for me! I hated, hated, hated it. and now I can’t find something that is so simple as a summer job or a job for all-year-round. it’s been about three months now since my last job and it’s driving me nuts since i’ve been so incredibly bored at home reading books or sleeping while my boyfriend is studying his ass off at FIT in new york city and working all the time. yes, not only does the future make me incredibly nervous and scares the living shit out of me, i’m also just clueless ever since i took that year off, almost a break from life where i had to resolve personal issues that lasted a couple of years. i’m just really glad i saw this post you wrote and maybe someday when i know exactly what to do and when i’m ready to reach that goal, i can somehow talk to you and get that help i need. thank you garance, you’re posts are too wonderful!

hellllo Garance,
i am currently studying and came across your story in my hopeless/ what is the meaning of it all state and i just wanted to say thank you because i feel like i could really relate to what you are talking about and it calmed my anxiety down in a huge way.
THANK YOU

oh this is great – I would have never guessed! (ditching class and partying, not knowing what you were doing) This is very reassuring to a young young adult figuring herself out! ;)
another segment pleeaase

Hey Garance! – I only just recently learned of you, but I quickly fell in love. You seem to be everything I wish to become, with your photography, fashion work & romantic illustrations, and your sincere connection to your audience. It is beautiful.

But I most appreciate your honesty as you travel (or sometimes blunder!!) through your experiences. The imagery you create evokes such feeling, I get lost in your blog!

Brava, and thank you so much for being yourself only and breaking this ‘high fashion seriousness’ type mould! love love love~
M

I’m a senior in college and many times I feel like I’m not really learning anything useful, not to mention that I have a tendency to skip as well! I finished an internship this summer and now I’m terrified to go into the working world and be strapped to a desk from 9-6 every day. It just seems so bleak. I can totally relate to this post- it gives me hope to just aim for a job, work hard, and follow my gut. Maybe, then I can end up with a career that I love.
Thank you!
Aileen

Thank you so much for sharing this story. I’vebeen cring a lot lately fearing of my future as I am still stuck in college. I would never have thought that a person like you who have produced an amazing website, capturing illustrations and insightful writings, had gone through such difficult time (maybe because I thought u’re just so amazing that you must always have an amazing breezy life). I was touched, and am now quite more hopeful for myself too.
I remember from watching a movie called Almost Famous and from reading a biography of Walt Disney about art that lasts. I feel that this is one of them…

This is SO good to read. I’m at that point in my life – graduated university, moved countries, don’t know what the hell I’m doing!! I love hearing how successful people started, it’s inspiring! Thank you.