catmoon wrote:How very interesting. The teacher might have been asking, "Why are you afraid of this center?" But he might also have been asking "Why are you afraid of leaving?"

That's the thing, it felt like a Zen zinger, because it came as I was leaving the room, I was in the midst of getting up and it came out. In a very deep resonant voice, and my reaction was very "if I wanted to tell you i would".

Have you considered writing him a letter instead? Oftentimes, putting it to writing can express things in a way one might feel too constrained to express in person.

"Even if my body should be burnt to death in the fires of hellI would endure it for myriad lifetimes As your companion in practice" --- Gandavyuha Sutra

catmoon wrote:How very interesting. The teacher might have been asking, "Why are you afraid of this center?" But he might also have been asking "Why are you afraid of leaving?"

That's the thing, it felt like a Zen zinger, because it came as I was leaving the room, I was in the midst of getting up and it came out. In a very deep resonant voice, and my reaction was very "if I wanted to tell you i would".

Have you considered writing him a letter instead? Oftentimes, putting it to writing can express things in a way one might feel too constrained to express in person.

Na, I haven't been there in a few weeks and I feel great, to be quite honest, but my meditations are becoming sloppy. So I had better find a group to practice with quickly.

It is strange though, I do miss the place, and remember it with rosy visages, but, then I remember walking in the door, and watching our kinhin looking like some sort of trail of tears. I start to remember how the place was just stagnant. After 5 years my teacher hardly knows anything about me, he just won't take off the teacher's robes and talk to me man to man. Also others have expressed sympathy with my opinions