Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hard Hats For Thick Heads

If you want to vomit, and then have pieces of the vomit have sex with each other and give birth to incestuous vomit babies before it hits the ground, read this article.

The Yankees have molested ground for their new stadium, to open in 2009. This is a portion of the article:

The generations that lie ahead, boys and girls from seven Bronx community programs, marched into the concourse to a large applause. They are part of what Bloomberg said will be a resurgence in the South Bronx with the stadium's construction.

"It's a pleasure to give it to you people," said principal owner George Steinbrenner. "That's what we're doing. This is for you people."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, George. Careful what you say, there. Did he really call the little black children "you people"? Funny, I was just watching a Good Times episode last night in which a doctor repeatedly refers to Mrs. Evans and the other black patients as "you people." Mama gets pissed, especially since the doctor is black herself.

And check this out, from Governor Pataki:

"In the first game played in Yankee Stadium, the Yankees beat the Boston Red Sox. So many years later, the Yankees are three games ahead of the Boston Red Sox.

"And while we are going to have a new Yankee Stadium, some things will never change, and that is the Yankees will always beat the Boston Red Sox -- with occasional exceptions."

Haha. Occasional exceptions of biblical proportions. The whole thing seemed to be one big "we can't stop thinking about the Red Sox"-fest...from those who say "What rivalry?" and pretend they're not obsessed with us. Terrible job.

Check out the photo gallery link in the article. It was a who's who of shit-eaters: Our traitor mayor, Sterling and Waldman (fittingly, Sterling is seated directly in front of Suzyn, instead of next to her), Yogi, Billy Crystal (even though he was nice to my sister when she met him at the Claridge pool in Atlantic City in 1985, but come on, this whole "liking the Yanks when it's convenient" thing trumps that. Wait, that reminds me, I think it was the Trump Plaza pool...), Selig in the role of Steinbrenner butt-kisser, and Big Stein himself (with stylish new (million-dollar? pure silver?) glasses).

Band name of the day: Incestuous Vomit Babies

Note: If you're looking for the Denis Leary in the booth video which has been taken down from YouTube, just check out my version, which was up before that other person's, but was named by me without using enough detail so MLB couldn't find it. Scroll down below my pictures of the Cyclones game. Granted, I totally missed the beginning, but it's better than nothing.

I love the fact that when they're breaking ground on this billion-dollar monstrosity, all they can think about is how the Yankees had their asses handed to them by the Red Sox in the 2004 ALCS. "Occasional exceptions"? How about the biggest fuckin' choke in sports history. E-Rod didn't help by slapping the ball out of Bronson's hands like a little sissy girl.

IMO, this is a totally new rivalry now. For those who say the Yankees are awesome and that the Red Sox suck and will always lose to New York, look at the numbers. Since 2003, we are something like 43-41 against the Yankees (I'd have to look that up, but something like it...we have definitely won more games). The numbers don't lie. Would a team that supposedly "sucks" win so many games against a team that you worship as the best in pro sports? I think not. These teams are extremely evenly matched. That's what makes it interesting.

Anyway, that was my rant. Hope you have a good time at the games this weekend!

For God's sake, will somebody make an issue out of the salary disparities? Billy Crystal is a (likeable) hero worshipping dope, whose second breath as an oracle of America's Team stinks of incestuous vomit. Worse, it smells of the worst kind of unfairness.