THROWIN' ROCKS

Unlike the immortal Donny, my version of "throwin' rocks" has nothing to do with bowling. For me it is writing about pop culture, poker, and people. Hopefully making you chuckle a few times, and shattering some glass houses along the way.

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Sunday, January 22, 2012

What's with all these singers fucking with the national anthem?!? Just sing the fucking song!!! It's perfect as is, and not only do your stupid embellishments not improve it, they are downright disrespectful! For his rendition of the Star Spangled Banner before the AFC Championship game today, Steven Tyler should have his U.S citizenship revoked permanently, and be immediately fired from American Idol.
I haven't seen anything butchered that bad since a pig roast at Stevie Wonder's house.
I've heard better sounds come out of a cat in heat having sex with a vacuum cleaner.
He should be ashamed to pull that shit, especially since his hometown team is called the Patriots!
They should run him out of Boston on a rail (it wouldn't take a very long pole. I met him on Newbury St. once, and he's all of about 4'3").
He's the only Muppet I don't like.
Dude looks like a lady, but sings like a cum gargling crack whore.
Hey Steven....we've been getting some calls:
- Rue McClanahan wants her face back.
- Janis Joplin wants her hair back.
- Rebecca Black wants her singing ability back.
- Rip Taylor wants both his scarf and his voice back.
I wish there had been three amateur singers there to judge him and tell him he was "pitchy" and that his singing was "the worst thing I've ever heard" and "you will not be advancing."
He made Roseanne Barr's version look classy.
On the up side, he would be absolutely perfect as Cruella DeVille if they ever do a broadway musical of 101 Dalmatians.
Did I mention that I thought his singing was pretty shitty?
That is all.