Writings about writing, messy life stuff, and boisterous insecurities.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Coo coo for Coco Puffs? Welcome to the world of traditional publishing!

Our bookstore is being stalked by a local author. For now, I'll call him Zip.We have been refusing to sell Zip's books. His books mostly contain controversial love triangles and reenactments of sex and/or offers of he's had with and from Hollywood movie stars. These celebrities can't stick up for themselves as they are all 'conveniently deceased'.

He's even claiming to have "turned down" sex with Rock Hudson. Suspension of disbelief denied!

Zip claims to have been given the only one on one interview Cary Grant ever allowed during his lifetime, in secret. Needless to say why we don't sell this author's non-fiction. I imagine he's never left his desks in his West Hollywood home and San Francisco Mission apartment to write these books.

Zip has special ordered almost everyone of his twenty-one published books using aliases at my bookstore, then refuses to pick them up suggesting that we simply re-shelve them. We don't. We send them back to the publisher(s). On closer inspection, I saw that his five fans ordering his books (Mr. O' Shaunasy, Raul Sanchez, and three other) all have the same phone number.

He came in the other day, wearing a wig. A bad one. The funniest part was that he has the most distinctive eyes. They're crossed. No joke. My co-workers stared at Zip's author photos on Zip's wiki page as he announced himself as Mr. Sampson, a giant fan.

Crazy or not, you have to admire the man's initiative and perseverance.