13 Lessons About Love From ‘Teresa’ You Should Definitely Copy/Paste If You Want Your Life To Turn Into A Dumpster Fire

It’s long been established that we have an undying love for telenovelas. In fact, they’ve taught us so many important life lessons over the years. While we will always be eternally grateful for what they’ve taught us, some lessons haven’t been as accurate as others. Especially when it comes to L-O-V-E.

We’re sad to say that the topic of amor is totally misrepresented in novelas. While that may make them all the more interesting, it also means that it’s misguided us once or twice in the love department. However, our loss is your gain because now we can share with you all the unrealistic love lessons we’ve learned from telenovelas. Hopefully, they will help guide you down the right path in your own adventures with romance.

1. Be careful who you’re kissing. It could be an evil twin.

Instagram / @videosguiquel

Have you ever noticed that telenovelas are just full of twins? Living in a world where almost everyone has an evil doppelganger has to make dating extra hard. What’s stopping them from switching places with the good twin whenever they want? Next time you go in for a kiss with your significant other, make sure to double check that it’s really them. Look for mysterious birthmarks or mustaches. Those are a dead giveaway for evil twins.

2. If you’re not feeling the relationship, you can always fake your own death.

Twitter / @theFlama

Have you ever been in a relationship and realized it was a mistake? You could do the grown-up thing and sit your significant other down to have an amicable breakup but where’s the drama in that. Telenovelas teach us that the proper way to approach this is to just completely ghost which can be pretty drastic if you ask us. If you DO follow telenovela advice and plan to fake your own death, don’t show up to your funeral. That’s a rookie mistake.

3. Love triangles are something you need to worry about.

Instagram / @novelalovers

Torn between two lovers? You might be in the middle of a novela and not even realize it. Telenovelas have taught us that at some point in our lives there will be two people passionately in love with us and we will have to choose between them. If you’re single now, this might give you some hope but we wouldn’t hold our breath. Real life usually isn’t as gracious with the love interests as novelas are.

4. Cheating is to be expected.

Twitter / @sin_tape

If you are stuck between two lovers, it’s no big deal. Novelas have taught us that cheating is just part of love. Hopefully, you don’t take this lesson to heart because cheating is actually a really gross thing to do. Additionally, being cheated on is the worst. This is one lesson we are happy to leave in the novelas.

5. All conflicts can be resolved with an intense kiss.

Instagram / @janethevirgin.cwcw

Chances are, if you rush up to a significant other during an argument and try to kiss them, things might not go as well as they do in the novelas. In these stories, a fiery kiss is all that is needed to end any conflict. In the real world, not so much. Use your mouth to talk it out before you move onto the smooching. Your relationship will work better that way.

6. There will always be a jealous former lover in the picture to mess things up.

Instagram / @orfaosdaterra.fc

Things are going perfect. You have someone who you love and who loves you back and the rest of your life is just as together as your romance. However, lurking in the shadows in them: that devious ex who is just waiting to trip up your happiness. Not to say this never happens in the real world but usually, we don’t have to live in a state of paranoia over our exes. That business belongs in the past and in the novelas.

7. Your makeup will always look flawless no matter what.

Twitter / @miranda_kevin

Have you just had an intense make-out session? We can’t tell because your makeup looks flawless. Just been dumped and have been crying your heart out? Your perfect face says otherwise. In telenovelas, ladies look flawless no matter what is happening in their lives. We would love this to be true because it would save a ton of time primping every morning but, alas, this is strictly a novela teaching.

8. A rich man and/or member of royalty is totally going to fall in love with you.

Twitter / @michinitwo

You are a poor girl who worked on your family’s alpaca farm and he is an undercover South America prince who falls in love with you. He whisks you away — despite objections from his family — and you live the rest of your life as a princess. Yeah right. If only it was that easy.

9. Be careful of that new novio. He might just be your long, lost half brother.

Twitter / @Alkhan_bh

Your parents had a whole life before they had you and who knows what they got up to during that time. If you go off of telenovelas, that cute guy you’ve been texting might just be your long, lost half brother. No amount of therapy can make you unsee his nudes so let’s thank goodness that real life isn’t as traumatic as novelas can be.

10. You’ll probably leave someone at the altar. That is if you don’t get left yourself.

Instagram / @fofoquente_

Marriage is a big deal but the chances that you’ll actually go through with your wedding is pretty low if you’re in a novela. Will you leave your fiance at the altar? Will they leave you? Maybe it will be a double runaway situation and neither of you will show. All we know is that weddings cost a lot of money so you might want to think it over before booking the DJ.

11. Prepare to be betrayed by your best friend.

Instagram / @alessandras_world

Your best friend may be your ride or die but they are the first person you should be suspicious of if you’re in a novela. Are they plotting against you? Trying to steal your man? Trying to steal your job? Pump the breaks on the paranoia. Hopefully, your real life isn’t as dramatic as a novela because you deserve a BFF you can trust.

12. There will be a controversial pregnancy.

Instagram / @aquenaopodiaamarr

If we were only following what we’ve learned from novelas, we’d expect a controversial pregnancy any moment now. Hopefully, we can avoid paternity tests, babies switched at birth and life-threatening pregnancies in our real life because novelas make that look way too stressful.

13. Love conquers all.

Instagram / @dannagarciaofans_

Not to be cynical but this is an important lesson that novelas get wrong. Sometimes love isn’t enough. For a relationship to work, it also takes compromise, communication, sacrifice, and understanding. Only then can love flourish and bloom the way we see it do on telenovelas. We all want that novela romance but, in the real world, it takes a little work. Still, it’s well worth it.

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Our FIERCE Readers Share Some of the Most Outrageous Lies They’ve Told To Get Some Time Away With Their Boo

Vacationing with your significant other is a big step in a relationship. It isn’t just the shared travel or the expense that can be the most trying. Many times, it’s figuring out a cover story to tell the padres. Don’t got it wrong, we’re grown. However, Latinx folk still have to answer to our parents when we leave the house. So if we want to vacay with the novio, we need an alibi.

With this in mind, we asked our FIERCE readers what their go-to lies are whenever they need to cover up a vacation with their significant other. You might want to jot these excuses down for the next time you need a justification for a weekend away.

1. The mandatory vacay.

Instagram / @happilyeveradventures

“I told my parents I would be out of town (only an hour away from home) for work and that my job was paying for everything and that it was mandatory we all stay there in the hotel because my dad said I could just drive everyday I needed to go. We ended up vacationing 12 hours away from home 😂 they still haven’t found out lol.” — @baerenis

2. Technically, she still went to Disney.

Instagram / @aprilroselb

“I had a summer job that involved church and I told my mom I was going to stay an extra week because a bunch of us were going to Disneyland. My boyfriend ended up picking me up and we did technically go to Disneyland, but it was just him and me. Lol” — @lilpeaches_12

3. Total fail but still worth it.

Instagram / @theromantictravelers

“Went to Rosarito w/ex to a wedding and told my mom I was going to visit girlfriends in San Francisco. One of my moms friends lives in Rosarito and recognized me at wedding. Total fail. Lady memorized my license plate # y todo 😂😂🇲🇽” — @vidajuicebar_

4. The abuela alibi.

Instagram / @bestwestern_plus_suitcase

“My now husband is from a town 2 hours away from Houston, and the only way my parents would let me stay the weekend over there, was if I stayed and slept with his grandmother. We would actually stay in a hotel room from Friday – Sunday in downtown, 4 miles away from my parents house. This was back in 2003, there’s no way I could get away with that now with smart phones! 😂” — @areal1982

5. Staycation, all she ever wanted.

Instagram / @kvadventuretravel

“Lol I would just tell them I was working a long shift and leave for a stay-cation.” — @jenoemi87

6. When white lies become second nature.

Instagram / @alinadelcaru

“I lied until I got married at 31 😂 now my instinct is to lie but stop my self because – wait a minute I’m married now! 😂” — @deerayv

7. This lie came with a lot of work.

Instagram / @el_palauet

“My husband and I had been dating for almost a year he wanted to take me to Puerto Vallarta for my birthday I didn’t know how to tell my parents my husband was like how old are you I said were Mexican we don’t sleep over nobody’s house ever we sleep at home. I told my dad my job needed me to travel to mexico since they were branching out to Puerto Vallarta and they needed a fluent Spanish speaker he was so excited they picked me. He said go tell me what hotel your staying at so I can tell your primos from El Rancho to meet you there… 🤦‍♀️ I gave him the wrong hotel name each time he called I would say were in meetings or were looking at property I’ll call the primos when I have time. We met 1 time to show I wasn’t with anybody I shouldn’t have been with… 😂” — @melliesemily

8. You need to go to confessional after this one.

Instagram / @theromantictravelers

“I told my mom I was going on a church retreat and got a text free number to pretend I was one of the people at church verifying I was attending 😩💀 I’m going to hell.” — @aimechinchilla

9. An educational experience.

Instagram / @theromantictravelers

“So I’ve always been super involved on campus and sometimes for student government we would travel and once we went on a trip to a conference for 2 days but I told my parents it’s was for 5 so the other 3 days estaba de pata larga 😉😂 later on that always became my excuse que tenía una conferencia para la escuela (btw i would tell them they were at other sister schools so you know it’s educational ) en total I probably actually had like 5 conferences my whole college career but to them it was like every other month 🤷🏻‍♀️😂” — @anythingforcelinaaas

10. That’s what friends are for.

Instagram / @fairmontsanfrancisco

“I was 20 and had been dating my bf for a year and he had the house for himself one weekend. I told my parents I was sleeping over at my friend’s house and got my dad to drop me off there (about a 20 minute drive away). My bf was waiting for me around the corner and came and picked me up. My friend even played the game and came and said hi to my dad 😂” — @laviajeraporvida

Jennifer Lopez is getting a ton of Oscar buzz for her performance as Ramona in “Hustlers.” Many people are shocked that Lopez’s film about a group of strippers is a contender for the Academy Award, but maybe they should start raising their expectations for Latinx-lead films.

The Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) marks the beginning of awards season. Typically films that premiere at TIFF tend to go onto to win Academy Awards. These films tend to be dark, historical, and often white-centered with few exceptions (like Moonlight). However this year, critics are whispering about an unlikely victor Lorene Scafaria’s “Hustlers” which stars Jennifer Lopez, along with Constance Wu, Sarah Paulson, Cardi B, Lizzo, Keke Palmer, Julia Stiles, Lili Reinhart, and Usher.

“Hustlers”is the talk of the Toronto International Film Festival

I saw #Hustlers weeks ago, and I’ve been dying to tell you: at one point of Jennifer Lopez’s first scene, my soul left my body.

When the credits rolled during the Hustlers’ TIFF debut the audience of over 2,500 applauded and gave a standing ovation that held to the very last second of the credits.

“On Sunday, inside the InterContinental hotel, a sharp-suited male walking with Sarah Paulson was overheard telling the actor, ‘Hustlers is my Citizen Kane.’ By Monday word had spread even outside the festival’s perimeter: Several miles north of the 2019 TIFF activity, a Toronto local working at a pharmacy told her coworker that she had heard Hustlers was ‘amazing. I heard J. Lo could win an Oscar,’” writes Barbara Nitke for Vanity Fair.

Critics Love Jennifer Lopez

There’s a scene in the film where Lopez does a striptease to Fiona Apple’s “Criminal,” that has gotten rave reviews. While I haven’t seen the film I imagine there is not anything as compelling as the sheer core strength of a 50-year-old Puerto Rican woman.

The Daily Beast wrote the article entitled “J. Lo Should Be an Oscar Contender for Hustlers,” writing, “From Lopez, it’s the kind of dynamo movie star performance that gets rarer and rarer, where a character so perfectly fits how we view a performer but still upends every expectation.”

While Variety said, “If there’s any justice, Jennifer Lopez will receive her first Oscar nomination for channeling the ringleader Ramona as Erin Brockovich by way of Matthew McConaughey in Magic Mike.”

Vanity Fair claims this is, “some of the best acting work of her career.”

“Hustlers” is a heist movie based on New York Magazine’s 2015 article “The Hustlers at Scores.” The story follows a group of strippers who turn the tables on their Wall Street clients by stealing money from stock traders and entrepreneurs who visit their strip club during the late 2000s financial crisis. The film is a commentary on capitalism, money, and is a subversion of female stereotypes.

Audience members are raving about”Hustlers.”

With all the Oscars buzz for @JLo in #hustlers, here's an unbelievable statistic. No Latina actress has won the Oscar for best actress. Only four have been nominated (Fernanda Montenegro — at the 71st Oscars — followed by Salma Hayek, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Yalitza Aparicio).

“With all the Oscars buzz for @JLO in #hustlers here’s an unbelievable statistic. No Latina actress has won the Oscar for best actress. Only four have been nominated (Fernanda Montenegro — at the 71st Oscars — followed by Salma Hayek, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Yalitza Aparicio),” pointed out Ramin Setoodeh of Variety.

I'm here for HUSTLERS earning Jennifer Lopez Oscar buzz, but let's not forget @JLo should've gotten Oscar noms for SELENA and ENOUGH and THE WEDDING PLANNER and MAID IN MANHATTAN and MONSTER-IN-LAW and THE BOY NEXT DOOR and THE BACK-UP PLAN and SHALL WE DANCE and SECOND ACT too.

“I’m here for HUSTLERS earning Jennifer Lopez Oscar buzz, but let’s not forget @JLo should’ve gotten Oscar noms for SELENA and ENOUGH and THE WEDDING PLANNER and MAID IN MANHATTAN and MONSTER-IN-LAW and THE BOY NEXT DOOR and THE BACK-UP PLAN and SHALL WE DANCE and SECOND ACT too,” wrote a fan.

The low expectations we have for films with people of color.

i cannot believe i cant believe it HUSTLERS the stripper movie with JLo and Cardi B has a 95% on rotten tomatoes while THE GOLDFINCH with nicole kidman, ansel elgort and finn wolfhard sits at a 30% this is so humiliating pic.twitter.com/cVnqUoTzmL

“i cannot believe i cant believe it HUSTLERS the stripper movie with JLo and Cardi B has a 95% on rotten tomatoes while THE GOLDFINCH with nicole kidman, ansel elgort and finn wolfhard sits at a 30% this is so humiliating,” one person on Twitter wrote.

You have to laugh! They hate to see it. It’s always so amusing seeing films featuring people of color get underestimated by the public. Everyone feigns shock that a Jennifer Lopez film couldn’t possibly be a well-written, well-performed artistic work. Then they’re shocked again when a film with a predominantly white cast like The Goldfinch isn’t the Oscar-worthy darling they had expected. If we didn’t attach expectations on art based on who is making it before even seeing it, perhaps, critics wouldn’t always be caught so off guard. Nevertheless, people of color are always happy to prove institutions and expectations wrong. We’ve been doing it for so long at this point.

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