I absolutely relate to this condition. When I wake up, I am confronted with intense anxiety about what I am going to do with my day. I am a healthy 64 year-old woman with much to live for - a good marriage, a stressless life, finally after all these years of stressful work. But during my very stressful work years in high-tech, I failed to devote any time to hobbies, or what to do with myself once I stopped working.

I have many interests, crafts, music, blah blah, but when depression set in I lost all motivation or capacity to engage in anything except my inner turmoil. This lack of motivation feels like not being able to wrap my mind around anything. It's all a struggle and I am left with an upwelling of anxiety blocked by despair. Life force dammed up causing an agitated depression that leaves me unable to engage in life. If presented with some repetitive task, I'm OK, but looking at the day yawning in front of me with no where to put my life force (because I simply cannot!) turns into a bad day indeed.

Lately I have been helping out a friend on his farm doing some trimming for the upcoming 'harvest' and it is great. Out in the sun picking leaves off plants, engaging in friendly conversation. It has been a saving grace. But when I get home, I'm once again confronted with accidia. Plenty of housework to do, not like there's nothing to do, but I just don't wanna. This is depression and I believe it is a glitch in my dopamine system, so I am looking at nutrients to help out my cofactors that will help my various neurotransmitters to do their work. Psychology is helpful in this, but it is a problem of both nuture and nature. If something is out of whack physically, that has to be addressed. Long story short, the feeling of purposelessness is a bitch.

Yes, movement does help quite a bit, even when I have to force myself. However, when I'm going through a rough time, I also feel unwell. Muscles hurt, stomach feels knotted up and it's so hard to do anything with this discomfort. I've been researching much about the gut/brain connection and feel it is very valid. Have been doing pro and pre-biotics and enzymes and other things to get my gut condition in order. I know that when I'm feeling good mentally, my gut feels relaxed and not clenched and my elimination is fine. Wonder if you have this condition as well, and if so, you'd do well to look into healing your gut. Turns out that good bacteria make good neurotransmitters and bad ones destroy all kinds of enzymes that hinder good brain chemistry. My best hopes for both of us, fellow traveler.