does it really matter?

Saying goodbye is hard to do

I went by the hospital today to visit Pa. And to say goodbye. I navigated the hallways making several left turns, then the long walk down the corridor until I arrived at his room. I stood in the doorway and looked at him. Was that really him? It didn’t look like him. I had to take a second look. I slowly walked in and being a nurse, I looked at the IV equipment to check the name on the IV bag to verify that this was indeed Pa. And to my dismay, it was. So I walked around to the other side of the bed, pulled up a chair and sat there. And I talked to Pa for 30 minutes about all sorts of things. The first time I met him. The times we went to Berryessa. I talked about Mimi and E. I sat in silence too and cried. I cried for him but I especially cried for all the people he will leave behind who miss him dearly. It especially made me sad to think of Mimi without Pa. That’s the thing. There is no Mimi without Pa. It pains me to think this so I will end this blog with this….

The last thing I said to Pa was to watch over Mimi. I kissed him on his bald head, told him to behave like I usually do and said “Bye Pa. I love you.”