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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Silence Please

Do you ever just take the time to sit in silence? Until about a year and a half ago I really didn't. I was constantly on the go, in the middle of one thing, just to be thinking about the next thing. I was never really in the moment. And I never made time for stillness or silence. Who has enough hours in their day for that crap?! I'll enjoy silence while I'm sleeping, maybe, if I'm lucky.

I always thought I was too busy. I was living in my head. My ego was the boss of me and it did not want me exploring quite time.

Why do ya think our egos throw all these road blocks in the way when it comes to self care? Any thoughts? Well, of course I have one or two. I know, surprise surprise.

Our egos are like little control freaks in our heads right? Like little task masters. All stick up their butts, black and white, right and wrong, obsessive little army sergeants. Our egos like to puff us up about the things we are good at and constantly remind us of all those things that we aren't. They like to make us feel like we are spinning our wheels, like we are treading water and have no extra time, or energy for things as frivolous and pointless as enjoying some silence.

Because, guess what? When you find a little teeny bit of quiet, you begin to see the ego for what it is. In just one still moment, you can find peace, fleeting, but peace. And you realize, in that moment, "Oh my God, Ego, you little devil! You didn't want me to come here, to do this quiet time thing, because it exposes you for the bully and liar that you are. I see you now, Ego. I got your number!"
That awareness may not last long, an your ego might Rico Suave his way back into your good graces, but it happened. That moment of realization happened, and you won't forget it. Ego will try to point out how, as you tried to sit in peaceful bliss, you kept thinking. You weren't able to stop thoughts from coming and going. You weren't really very good at that sitting silently thing at all. It wasn't really working. But don't let him fool you, it was. Ego might even decide it's time to pull out the bug guns. If making you doubt yourself isn't enough, he's going to start shoveling out the anxiety and fear. He'll start poking and prodding in your tender spots. Reminding you there are things that you don't want to think about, sit with, or feel. Reminding you, that you are avoiding those things for a reason. If you let down your guard, if you quit running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, if you let silence in, those thoughts you haven't wanted to think and those feeling you haven't wanted to feel are going to invade. And then, you are going to loose your shit and be miserable. All because you thought you wanted a little bit of peace. I call bullshit Ego.

Little by little, you find yourself wanting to find that place again. That beautiful place, where all was still and calm for a few moments in time. Where you could hear yourself breathing, you could listen to your heart beating, you could inhale deeply into your belly, deeper than you ever had before. The place where you sat with your back straight but it didn't feel like you were trying to be Miss Perfect Posture, you just felt centered and strong. The place where your heart was open and full and your mind was awake and alert but felt light and flexible.

Every one of us has time. Every one of us can benefit from quiet. We live in a loud, uber-stimulating, much too virtual world. We are constantly being pulled out of ourselves, into places and situations in which we don't necessarily want to be. But during these few moments, you can decide where to put your attention, and intention. You can silence the sergeant and give yourself a gift. The loveliest gift of being inside of yourself. Not pulled in a hundred different directions. Not taking in everyone else's energy. Not living in your head, but in your soul.

You can sit in a chair, or cross legged on the ground, or lay down, or walk slowly (preferably in nature, but wherever you can will work). You can close your eyes (which I prefer) or you can keep them open and focus on something beautiful and inspiring. You can play soft relaxing music, or sit in complete deafening silence. Give yourself permission to just be. Thoughts will come. Let them come and let them go. Pay attention to your physical body. Where are you holding tension? Breathe into those tight areas and breathe that gripping right out. Let what ever is happening happen. Let go of what you think it is supposed to be, and just let it be what it is. The more you do it, the more you will want to do it. The longer you will be able to do it. The more you give yourself this gift of intentional silence, the less control your ego will have.

Quiet time is really yummy you guys. However you "do it", just do it. Let yourself rest inside, all safe and snuggly.

Makes my heart happy that you stopped by. I hope you find something that speaks to you here. Something that talks to your heart and resonates with your soul. I hope you will find a little encouragement, a lot of truth, some strength in knowing you aren't alone and never will be.You may also enjoy some occasional cussing, and a giggle here or there.
With love, Trisha