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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

*For you pesky optimists suggesting that the USU cookie cake stands for something else: it was found at a big box store alongside other patriotic cakes two days before Memorial Day, 2011. So... yeah, no. -john (thoJ)

Reader Comments (76)

The USU one might actually be for Uniformed Services University. It's the medical/medical professions school on the campus of Bethesda Naval Hospital. All of the students are in the armed forces from Army Medics studying to be LPNs to PhDs in immunology and virology to Nurse Practitioners and MDs.

[Editor's note- Hi, Navy Nurse! You are very cool for assuming the best in this case. However, this cake was found on a table at a big box store with other patriotic and USA cakes on May 28th, 2011, which was just before Memorial Day. So, ya know, probably a wreck. Have an awesome day and thanks for your service! -john]

Thanks for the burst of patriotic cakedom. Today is my birthday and I can't decide if I'd rather have cake #3 with the minimalist flag or the over-the-top ten-tons-of-sugar on that Eagle cake. Maybe I'll just stick with homemade strawberry shortcake for my "cake" tonight.

1: Take the "W" from "We" and turn it upside-down to use as an "M." (Yeah, it's a cap, and will look weird, but not AS weird.) 2:Put the "e" next to the "W".3:Now just take the left-over "ember" and tack it on at the end of the "Rem."(You get "RemeMber".)

Gee, a plethora of Mogen David in the place of the usual pentacles! Is this a cake for a Jewish-American Princess?Do you think the cookie is for a Memorial Day graduation from Utah State University?At first I had trouble with the blue eyed bald eagle - but if you think of the yellow as dark chocolate, it would not be all that bad.

Oopsie~ I forgot to put in my "critique" that my little "tutorial" was meant for the "rember" cake... It SHOULD be obvious, and go without saying, but since when have THOSE sorts of concepts been a "given"?? I often wonder if (actually, it's more like "hope that") these folks are doing it deliberately, just to gain the Wrecktoriety. =^@.@^=

The Eagle (Old Blue-eyed Banana-nose) just makes me SAD (and on a holiday, too)! He looks like a dog holding a leash in its mouth, pitifully hoping that someone will take it out for a walk. Sadder still: it's just a HEAD, so a walk is off the table right at the outset.This holiday is sucking for me, so far.=^e.e^=

I rember learning in civics class that cake number 2 is served at the White House whenever Israeli officials visit, just as cake number 4 is presented when the French visit (see the beret?) Number 7 (which shows the Mid-Atlantic coast flipping the bird,) is served to officials of whatever country is pissing us off at any given time. @Karen - I didn't see an eagle (or a rooster) and I didn't even try to figure it out. I'd thank you, but I liked it better when I couldn't see a "bird."

Great post, Jen! My daughter was inspired to sing along. Got me teary-eyed. (I made sure my kids know why we have a Memorial Day. They shake hands with, & thank, every service person they meet.) We enjoyed yesterday's Sunday Sweets, too. It was a great way to explain about all the branches of the military & the Coast Guard. But when we got to the Marines & I explained how they were supposed to be the best & the toughest to get into, she said "But what about the Seals? Aren't THEY the toughest?!" I then had to explain about military teams & units vs branches... (She's a big fan of Hawaii Five-O & it's starting to show...)

"How. The Heck. Do you misspell U.S.A.?" akathleen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Apparently, it's easier than we'd like to think. It could be an "English-as-a-second/third/other-language" thing, or an "I don't get PAID to look things UP" thing, or a "Looks GREAT to ME" thing, or an "I don't GIVE a flying-- " er...ANYway...(Take your pick, y'know?) I WANT to think that they do this deliberately to get ON Cake Wrecks. Sadly, I know better. Whoa!! WHAT am I SAYing?? If people weren't Wrecking, we wouldn't be having all of this FUN!Carry on, Wreckorators!! =^~.~^=

@ SuBee: So, "Number 7 shows the Mid-Atlantic coast flipping the bird" ,huh? Well! A comment like that is Pretty Darn Unpatriotic, and--Oh, who am I kidding? It was freekyng HIlarious, and one might even go as far as to say that maybe the East coast of that cake looks a little, erm...aroused?Maybe it has a crush on the little French map across the pond, m'ais oui*?

~^-.-^~

*not sure if that's the right phrase, but I only took Freshman and Sophomore (H.S.) French, and never got NEAR the Madamoiselle's "You-need-to-be-able-to even-THINK-in -French!" ideal.

I rather like the one with the six-pointed stars in the canton. It's done neatly enough that it might be a political statement. Or the baker might have had the stars left over from Hannukah. Who knows?

I'm embarrassed to admit that I was (of course) not only singing along in my head, but I actually made it halfway through counting the stars on #2 before I noticed that they had too many points. Although I did spot the eagle almost immediately (or what purports to be an eagle, obviously) so at least I make up there what I lose by not seeing the stars. I think?

Oh! You're SO sweet!! ((HUGS)) No, it's really nothing, and I'm just being a baby...I was supposed to go w/ my sister & bro-in-law to see a brand new granite Civil War memorial thingy in the city park, and a parade, but now we're not because something else came up for them. Anyhoo, I'm over it!It's a GORGEOUS day and I'm going to revel in it--winters are monstrous around here and I'm just so happy that it's MAY!!!=^~.~^=

USU or Utah State University's colors are Blue and White. Our in-state rivals are BYU and Utah. Utah's colors are Red and White. No self respecting Aggie would buy a cake or cookie with USU written in red. That's just wrong!

At first when I saw the (*scrolling back up and counting*) 6th cake, I said to myself, "Wait, how is this a wreck? That looks like a beautifully executed bunch of bananas and chrysanthemum tied with a ribbon... wait... why is the ribbon going under one of the bananas? OH-- IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE AN EAGLE???!!"

That poor little blue doggie...he has pooped all around the board, he has cataracts, black nose syndrome and has pulled I do not know what out of the garbage and is chewing on it....maybe that is why he pooped all over....

As the mom of a Marine Corps officer and veteran of two tours in Iraq, I am not one to take Memorial Day lightly. But I have to say that I had to shake my head in amazement at today's platoon of wrecks. Our lives as Americans are defined not just by our greatness, but by our absurdities as well. Thanks for reminding us of that, and thank you for giving me something to laugh at Every. Single. Day.