Completely Useless Information

There’s an article in the Guardian debunking the myth that a lit cigarette can ignite a pool of gasoline. Lest you think the scientists that proved that it can’t are just closet pyros, one of them explained that arsonists often claim that gasoline fires were started on accident. He offers an interesting example: “The person claims, ‘I accidentally threw gasoline on my girlfriend, she was smoking and she burst into flames’.”

How, exactly, do you accidentally throw gasoline on someone? “Really, officer, I was trying to fill up my gas tank. I just have really bad aim!”