Discussion and resource forum for women who have had past severe trauma, such as rape, affect their lives. You are not alone.
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No means no

Sunday, 24 November 2013

"Zero Harm" and Rape Culture

I’m going to write a
codicil for this blog post before I even start, because I know it is going to be a
very unpopular topic. Rape
is never, has never been, and will never be “okay”. That’s what is says on my website (www.itsokaytobeangry.com) and that’s what I truly believe.
You may disagree with what I am about to say, but don’t, DON’T, DO
NOT make the mistake of thinking I condone rape or rape culture; nor am
I victim blaming in any way, shape, form or format. This is a personal comment
from a torn soul who believes we are letting our women and girls down in a very
particular way.

Years ago, when I
chose workplace health and safety as my career path, I did so in part because
of my history. Since I had never had
justice after I was raped and assaulted, and never had someone speak up for me,
I wanted to be that person in the workplace – someone who would push the employee’s
barrow with management and ensure that workers went home uninjured at the end
of each day. I saw it as a parallel to
safety from sexual violence, one that I could be and was passionate about.

Over the years I have
witnessed bad attitudes from both sides.
Employers who will always blame the employee when an unsafe action is
noted, and employees who say the employer never does enough and always places
profit first. There are rights and
wrongs with both arguments, and again I see parallels with safety from sexual
violence.

So much of the media
attention now is on “rape culture”. It
exists. There is no argument. There
will always be instances where a situation was entirely unavoidable by the
woman and she suffered the consequences, perhaps lifelong. There
is no argument that rape is a weapon of war. There is no argument that “gang”
culture is pervasive amongst our teens and youth. There is no argument that domestic
violence, sexual violence in the name of religion and sex trafficking are
totally unacceptable. There is no argument that no-one has the right to touch
your body without your express permission.

Yet the general
message we are giving our women and girls is “do what you like, wear what you
like, act however you want, it’s your body.”
This is where I completely disagree. I believe that, by giving women and
girls that message, we are failing them in a huge way by not equipping them
with the ability to assess and manage risk.

In a workplace,
hazards are mitigated by an employer and an employee has a legal responsibility
to act in a safe manner and follow workplace procedures such as safety boots,
hard hats, safe work procedures, inductions, correct licences etc. No-one would think twice
about castigating someone for working on a high rise construction site in
thongs and shorts without a harness.
That’s just dumb, right?

So why do we insist
that women and girls should have an unfettered freedom to do whatever they
want, wherever they want, whenever they want? We can’t blame the patriarchy
every time violence happens. We sometimes have to
accept some responsibility for our own actions.
Including the fact that many women and girls want their freedom but
don’t want the responsibility of educating themselves or their peers about what
is and isn’t acceptable.

If we truly want to
get rid of rape culture it is our responsibility – every single one of us, male
and female – to call it out when we see it or hear it, to stomp on it, to work
to change it. And to accept responsibility
that our own actions may, just may, put us in a hazardous situation when there
is no “employer” to make it safe for us.

I left workplace
health and safety because I was totally dismayed at the pervading culture of
“Zero Harm” which is predicated on the belief that a workplace can be made completely safe – this is a fallacy, there is no such thing in a world populated by humans. Likewise, there is no such thing as “freedom”
in a world populated by humans, and once again I see parallels between the
“safety culture” and “rape culture”. Zero Harm advocates look at the world
through rose coloured glasses, and so too do those who say rape culture can and
should be easily dismantled. There is never a simple solution, but in both
instances the discourse has to change
before the results will change.

Why are we failing our
women and girls by not equipping them with the life skills to make rational
decisions about irrational risk situations? Rape
is never, has never been, and will never be “okay”, but the simple fact is
we live in an imperfect world. You don’t
tempt fate on a worksite, and you educate yourself about risk. Why don’t you do the same when you step
outside your employer’s gates and
ensure our girls and young women are educated in risk awareness? Knowledge is power.

1 comment:

This needed to be said. Thank you El! We can't keep our young women safe just by attacking the rape culture. A multi-faceted approach is needed. Common sense, mindfulness of personal safety, community responsibility and duty of care have to go hand-in-hand with a huge social mind shift to make a difference, but even so, this will always be a less-than-perfect world, and there will always be predators. This blog addresses that fact.