Friday, September 17, 2004

Laziest blog post ever

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?

The Answer is TEN:

1. one to deny that a lightbulb needs to be changed,

2. one to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the lightbulb needs to be changed,

3. one to blame Clinton for burning out the lightbulb,

4. one to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the lightbulb or for darkness,

5. one to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new lightbulb,

6. one to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Lightbulb Change Accomplished",

7. one administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally "in the dark",

8. one to viciously smear #7,

9. one surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along,

10. and finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

I would like to add: And a countless number of people to work as a voluntary support system from behind their keyboards, who, while never having changed a lightbulb themselves, feel free to denounce anyone who doesn't like Bush's lightbulb brand as a bunch of cowards and traitors.

Here's the first, last, and middle words when it comes to lightbulb jokes :

http://tedbarlowfaq.blogspot.com/

My favorite :

Q: How many InstaPundits does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One. And that’s a feature, not a bug.

UPDATE: Doonesbury has a tiresome strip on lightbulbs. I don’t know what happened to Garry Trudeau. He used to be so much funnier and so much more relevant back when I agreed with him. Now he’s really changed.

ANOTHER UPDATE: A reader asks:

“I used to work in academia, and I feel like I have a little insight on these “pro-light” activists. In our office, the lights were often used to illuminate an applicant in order to ascertain his race.

One question is conspicuous for its absence in the major media. Why are they so eager to see the lightbulb changed? Didn’t Martin Luther King fight so hard for a color-blind society? Who are the real racists?”

Good question.

YET ANOTHER UPDATE: Tim Blair on who the real racists are.

OKAY, THIS IS THE LAST UPDATE: Mickey Kaus has a “sophisticated exegesis” of a lightbulb ad in the Arts and Living section of the New York Times.