2011-2014. The original blog that got it all started. It represents reflections I had and sharing I did, during a time period in my life, freshly post autism diagnosis, worsening illness, though I wasn't yet clear on things. I was trying to process and going through a lot of hard learning. There's some good stuff in here, which helped others, and there's also some stuff that no longer reflects my situation and/or evolved insights. Please read with this in mind.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Entry 33: My Guys

I have two kids. My older son, Pearson, is 7 and he
has autism. My younger son, Elliot, is 5...he doesn't have any diagnoses as of
yet but has some traits that are being watched. Elliot is at times like the big
brother to Pearson; he's very verbal, advanced actually. He gets frustrated
when he tries to communicate with Pearson, and he won't always get an answer.

Pearson is actually impressively communicative
considering his challenges, but he does have a hard time with reciprocal
conversation. It's actually really cute to hear them talk together, it's like
Pearson has a home social thinking group because he's has a very verbal
brother. I don't doubt it helps him.

They play a lot together; they even create make-believe
settings. Very innovative I must say, the other day it was a "natural
slurpie store" because Pearson likes to take his juice and put it in the
freezer until it's slushy. There is another side to it as well though, they
often do have the same interests and fight over things like the iPad.

I know it's not necessary for them to play Angry
Birds but they're allowed to once and awhile because they really like it. We
actually cut it down (which was NOT fun, the resistance was intense!) because
Elliot seemed to get almost addicted to it.

Elliot can hyper focus like you wouldn't believe,
when he's really into something. He’s really bright, and he speaks preciously
for his age. He’s got a lot of character, and he likes to be gregarious. I can
see him being the life of the party, one day. He’s a bit of a rebel too. Uh oh…

Pearson’s very physical and hands-on, and very
creative in this. He sees more than he can say. He often needs to be doing something
like building or crafting. He loves to draw and is pretty good at it. He is
beginning to become fascinated in informational programs on Netflix, especially
about science.

Sometimes he wants his own space and Elliot, who is
a bit bossy, ahem, a leader, tries to take over. Then we have an explosive
reaction from Pearson, which makes Elliot mad, then there's a scrap.

My boys both do struggle with impulse control a
bit, so this can be a challenge for us. If Pearson can't process a change or a
rule being enforced on him, he can get very loud and kick stuff over etc.…That's
when we have to step in to show him visuals and get him to his room if he just
can't calm down. The sounds bother Elliot, as he's very auditory sensitive like
me, and then he'll start crying when Pearson starts shouting. Then I've got two
to calm down.

I actually put my earmuffs on when this happens; it
helps me retain my composure and lessens the sound too. I won't lie, being a
mom on the spectrum can be extremely challenging particularly because of
sensory issues.

We can inevitably end up a bit high-strung,
sometimes. Yes you can imagine, it's a challenge having two kids on the
continuum (when you are too) but we are also a very close family; we have a lot
of fun.

Pearson is involved with therapies, and now extra
speech, so in time he'll have a hold on things. Pearson is a very smart boy and
we are all working with him in progression, he's come a long way from where he
was at 3! I'm proud of him.

My husband and I don't see eye to eye sometimes,
we're very similar but also more noticeably, very opposite. I'm obviously more
dramatic than him...he likes to downplay. But we're aspies. And can't help this
really. Watching us communicate sometimes would be like watching a Big Bang
Theory episode. It'd be funny.

We're quite logical and both have problems with
theory if mind. We'll try to organize and have different, yet both concrete,
ideas on how to do so. We try very hard to meet with the same…but the effort is
clear. Haha. Just a little joke; maybe we should have a reality show called
"The Aspie Family" with a little spoof music :P Just joking...

We're often homebodies when we come home from
activities because it's nice to just take time out. On the weekends we might do
one thing out, and then just chill. I think when a whole family's on the
spectrum, this could be expected! I'll often make pizza and pancakes in
the morning. We'll do a more special dinner on Friday night.

I make all the meals from scratch, and the boys
like to help sometimes. Innovative gluten/dairy free healthy meals are what
this house is made of. These boys' appetites' double my husbands’ and mine so
I'm always working hard making sure we are really stocked up with groceries. I
have to plan it out with a strategy.

Almond, sunflower, flax and rice milks, fruits and
veggies, nuts and nut butters, beans, decent cooking oil, decent mayo, range
meats and fish, the more inexpensive cuts etc. That’s just a basic list. The
boys love my healthy cooking, especially Pearson. They say “MMM, you’re a good
cooker, mom!” Elliots’ a little more fussy, so when he sais it I’m super
stoked. I go out of my way to try and make healthy things delectable enough for
“Sir Elliot” to approve.

Even with all of our challenges, my husband and I
work really hard to make sure the boys are cared for and that they are happy. I
wish I could give them even more, and I’m working towards it. I have hope.
There’s so much more to say, but the bottom line is: I love my family, my
husband, my two rambunctious and clever little boys. I can't imagine being
without them.