Tag: hear me

Hey, Ho!

Here we are in Valentine’s Day month, which may cause a twang in your heart to those of you who are divorced or about to be single. And so I thought it would be perfect timing for me to branch out as an advice columnist for the love-sick and Ready-for-Love peeps. Here, is a sneak preview of one of my first columns. Please send me your questions so that I may be of service to you!

Dear M:

I’m a 50-something single woman and I’ve given up on dating. I feel like I can’t compete with the beautiful young yoginis and cosmetically enhanced perfect-looking women. But I’m lovesick and wanting to find a wonderful life partner. What do you suggest I do to boost my confidence? I’m tired of just having a relationship with my cat.

Thank you,

Misfit Cat Lady

Dear Misfit:

First of all, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and calling yourself a “Misfit Cat Lady” (no matter how clever that title is). You are not! How you see yourself will become a reality. Let’s call you “Ready for Love” instead.

Second, reading your letter reminded me of a poem that I read a long time ago when I was in 8th grade. It was the first piece of advice from life that I got and took to heart. Perhaps you have heard of it, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann: “..If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

In your case, there will always be some yogini younger, cuter, and sexier or someone with bigger hair, and more expensive boobs than yours. And I bet you that they are probably feeling the same insecurities that you feel are unique to you. So buckle up, divorce your cat, get out and start playing in the world!

My guess is you probably don’t feel you are worthy of the love and adoration that you deserve — and those feelings probably existed long before in your life. In your trials and tribulations, you may have forgotten how loved you truly are and how to treat yourself with love and respect. You might even forgotten how truly sexy you are. And you constantly judge yourself for not being enough or doing it right.

Let’s turn this around, shall we?

Start with the inside:

Your inner voices need to be witnessed and loved. They are crying out for you to listen to their pain so that they can heal. Unfortunately, most of the time, you ignore, deny, or suppress them because these voices seem so pathetic to you. But all that ever does is make you feel worse about yourself.

Take out your favorite journal, and capture these voices. “Today I am in touch with….” (fill in the blank. Write out all of your sad and “whining” voice has to say, then finish it off with “I am grateful to be in touch with these feelings.”

I promise, you will experience an amazing shift inside. If you are brave, get a partner and share your writing, let them witness you. All they have to do is read your writing and respond with “I see you.” This simple act of daily writing and witnessing will start to melt away decades of shame and loneliness and will allow you to see yourself as is, and develop compassion for yourself. From there, unconditional love will blossom. Once that happens, you will start to attract different people into your life who have the capacity to have unconditional love for you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? See how this works?

After the writing, do something that makes you feel pretty and sexy. Show some skin and feel your body’s movement. Focus on feeling good and move away from the comparison thoughts.

The truth is men love women at any age and in any shape. They especially love women who love themselves.

Love, Love, Love,

M

p.s. For more support, come to my next “Hot Life Hot Love” event. You will get to see me live and ask your questions. I promise, it will change your life!

I want to tell you a story:

Ann came to my Hot Life Hot Love event last year to learn how to let love in, so that she is loved, adored, and cherished. She cried and cried during the entire weekend because she was stuck in a 20-year marriage with an unresponsive husband. After the event, as she was driving home and a guy drove fast behind her and convinced her to pull over. She finally pulled over and he said, “You are so beautiful. I want to give you my card in case you’d let me take you out for dinner.” She took it as a sign that she deserved better. Within three months she moved out, sold the house, and began to live her life. Her husband completely turned around and apologized for how he has been asleep in their marriage. Now they’re reconnecting and dating again. They are building a new loving and romantic relationship. She told me she owes it all to my event!

Want some of this? Reserve your seat now for the next Hot Life Hot Love – 2 Day Live Event!

Redefining Progress

If you are like me, you often times might have an internal dialogue that goes like this when you are working on something:

“Is this working?”

“Am I doing this right?”

“Am I making progress?”

When these questions take root in my brain what follows is a few days of doubt and even frustration that I am not progressing fast enough.

Here, inside the Mai Vu Coach community, I help my clients build a sustainable Hot Life and Hot Love and we are always looking at our progress. In my signature work, I teach my clients to distinguish and integrate the three archetypes: The Peasant, Princess, and Priestess inside them, so that they can have the love, support, success and joy that they want.

Last week a few of us had a beautiful conversation about PROGRESS, and how each of those 3 P’s thinks about it, during one our program calls. It was so powerful that I want to share it here as a resource for you all.

What we learned is that how we define progress will determine our reactions, understanding, and level of satisfaction in ourselves and our effort. It can easily defeat us or encourage and inspire us forward. To see this even deeper, read how each of your 3 archetypes think about progress. Do a mental test on which of the three you might be listening to (remember, no archetype is better than the other, we have all three, and we want to have a healthy balance of each).

She thinks of it as a flow, you might not get things done on your practicality list, but what you have done, feels really pleasing

She knows that progress is individual and group based, and it takes a community to move forward.

She asks for help and won’t do it alone.

She will do things to be recognized and to recognize the people that helped her

LOVE is her currency

Priestess Progress: (from our wise, deep knowing of wisdom from the past and clarity and foresight for the future self)

She assumes progress and knows that it is going to happen. She is very grounded.

She has a deep knowing and nothing rattles her. Meaning she has no judgement and can stand in her KNOWING, “it’s in my DNA”.

Progress doesn’t have to be HUGE, an inch can be an incredible progress for someone.

Progress is different for the Priestess: She thinks progress is when she breaks everything down and there is FREEDOM and real POWER for me. She doesn’t really care about success and safety like the way the Peasant thinks.

The point of seeing it from all three archetypes is to have a balance, and wise look of our progress, instead of being driven by our fearful limited peasant self which is typically what we are trained to listen to from an early age.

If you’d like to balance out your 3P’s, schedule a complimentary Hot Life Hot Love Discovery Session with me by filling out this short 3P’s questionnaire.

Sandra is troubled.

“The miscommunication between us is the worst! Getting him to hear and understand me. He gets very sensitive to stuff that I say and do sometime. Most of the time, I am not sure how I am going to be perceived so I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I want so much to be heard by him AND really hear and understand what he means when he talks. I think he feels like he is walking on eggshell with me too.” “I think we both long for deeper communication and easier understanding of each other.”