breast cancer … the good, the bad and the ugly

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Once again I cannot sleep but on the bright side it doesn’t happen as much as it used to. Today was just an anxiety filled day. Had an MRI a few hours ago. Yes it was a late 10pm appt because I rescheduled and couldn’t wait too long to have it done. Anyhow the reason for my anxiety being the allergic reaction to the contrast dye that I had the last time. Looking almost like Will Smith in Hitch when the MRI was done. Ok not quite as lopsided but hives from head to waist. Burning and itching like crazy! It was not fun. Because of that I had drugs to take all day to try to prevent another reaction and they actually used the other contrast dye this time. All went well and I had no reaction. Whew! Thank God!!

The guy was super nice which helped. He also told me the other contrast dye was very expensive and statistically has less reactions. So then why do they not use it?! Oh wait because it’s very expensive and that’s more important. UGH!!!

I had to take 3 different drugs today along with the regular drug I take every morning. Because of that I thought I won’t take the adivan which helps me relax and sleep at night. I felt sleepy when I came home but I think I missed that window. I ate a Haagen Dazs ice cream bar right before bed. My tongue is still burning so I usually have a couple of Popsicles a day. Also, my mother wasn’t and still isn’t feeling well and it was concerning, so by the time I went to bed my mind was racing. I spoke to her right before sleeping so I went to bed worrying. Finally took the adivan after realizing I had been lying here for 2 hours. So I’m just gonna take it everyday until this is all over. I feel like a drug addict and I don’t even care. A friend said be careful it can be addictive. Honestly right now I could care less. Haha. It helps and right now I need my sleep.

Annoyed with oncologist again or her admin staff. I had a fever on and off for 5 days. Today the fever didn’t come back. Yayyy! I had emailed my dr days ago and then a couple of days ago. No response. I also called twice. The first time her admin person and I spoke and said she called in the prescription to my pharmacy already (1st issue in the email) and she would ask about the neupogen and fever. Two days later still no phone call or email reply. She usually emails back pretty quick so unless she told her secretary to call me back with a message she is back on my bad list. Her admin person is so annoying and irresponsible at times. This has happened before. Because the fever is gone I will not call back tomorrow but when she does call back I’m going to tell her this is very frustrating. Which I did actually say in the voice message I left.

Still not sleepy! I have a few books I could read but don’t know if I feel like it. Maybe I should.
How long does this stuff take to work?! The wonderful world of drugs. The legal ones! I will be off them all one day but not right now. Oh almost forgot, a few people mentioned marijuana helped with chemo pain but I kept forgetting about that and only had pain with second drug. It also helps you sleep though … But that one is a more complicated habit. It might still be legal for me, not sure I never looked into it.