The Gossip

You know the friend: After approximately 30 seconds of small talk, the convo turns to status updates about all the moms in your mom group and the ins and outs of their personal lives. Sure, it’s intriguing to know that Sarah Beth may (or may not) have brought store-bought cookies to the PTA bake sale. But after a while, it feels gross and mean-spirited, and also serves as a reminder—you’ve got way better things to do with your time.

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NBC

The Downer

OMG, work/life/the world is the worst, per this womp-womp-minded pal. Sure, not every day is sunshine and rainbows, but this friend has a way of making the sunniest Friday feel bleak. If you find yourself being pulled down by all that doom and gloom, it’s time to cut your losses—or at least limit your catch-ups to texts.

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ABC

The Guilt Tripper

True story: We’ve all got a lot on our plate. But the pal that makes you feel bad about it? Ugh, the worst. So, your babysitter bailed and you had to cancel your RSVP to the eight-course dinner your loving friend made from scratch. Of course, you feel terrible to break the news. But the friend who rubs it in and won’t let it go? Buh-bye.

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HBO

The Martyr

That Friday night dinner reservation? This friend volunteered to take care of it, but then spent the first 30 minutes of your catch-up passive-aggressively complaining about the volume of work that went into nabbing the coveted 8 p.m. slot. It’s not that you’re not grateful, but saying thank you should suffice. If it doesn’t—and you’re constantly feeling indebted to her for all her “selfless” deeds—it might be time to move on.

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CW

The Asker

The opposite of the martyr, this friend has a tendency to put everything on your plate. It’s not that you’re her personal assistant, but when she texts you for the address of the movie theater you’re meeting at, then asks you to get there early to save her a good seat, you’re starting to feel a bit like you scored a job you never wanted.

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CBS

The One-Upper

OMG, your recent trip to Barcelona was the best. But the second you mention the hole-in-the-wall ceviche place you stumbled upon, she’s already interrupting to talk about the even better hole-in-the-wall ceviche place from her trip five years ago. On occasion, you’ll let it slide. But if this happens on the regular, it’s exhausting—and a friendship no-go.