Brenda Yap

I'm feeling rather confused about what I really want to do right now. Maybe it's just that time of the month, or maybe I'm just feeling discouraged, but the question is; do I really want to be an interior architect?

I do enjoy the work, but most times work is just work, to me, and it just gets me all stressed out. And in a field like design, everything is subjective -- I can't just study some textbook or do some exercises and that's it. There are so many steps to carry out when faced with a new ID project :: precedent studies, site analysis, concept, sketch models, plans, sections, elevations, perspectives, axonometrics, final model, details, materials, presentation board, etc. Materials are expensive too.

I've just come to a point where it's driving me mad. Working on my project is more of a hassle than anything, and I don't know where my passion has gone. My grades are average. Not great, not terrible, just average. Perhaps I'll get an A here and there, mostly Bs, and a few Cs too. But nothing is ever certain, and the grades I receive at the end of each semester are always unexpected. Well, most times I do worse than I thought I did. :/ Occassionally I'll do better.

Oh dear God. Why am I here? Did I make the right decision? I just need some confirmation, and some encouragement. I know I've written a lot about how busy I am and how stressed I am, but it's really building up and I'm just.. fed up with it now.

Okay. I just needed to get that out. Whatever it is, I have to finish what I've started.

Here's a site Family Guy fans will enjoy :: Stewie Live. Try telling him to have sex, fart, or dance.

Wazir stayed over at my place this entire week, because my mum asked him to, so that he would save on petrol. We've been incredibly low on funds this month due to some unforseen circumstances. Today he left, because I'm staying at dad's this weekend.

Anyway today after class at Cenfad, we were on the way to my dad's house, where I'm supposed to stay this weekend. Then suddenly dad phones and tells me that the BMW is in the workshop, and can I go there with him and drive the BMW home? I tell him that I don't think I am capable of driving on my own, so he asks if Wazir can help instead. Wow. I was so surprised.

So Wazir and I rush back and dad drives us to the workshop in Selayang. We pick up the BMW and what the hell, I end up driving anyway, with Wazir next to me. I did something incredibly stupid, though. I drove without even realizing that the handbrake was on. Until I got home and the car smelt funny. :/ Yes, yes. It's so stupid. Thank God Selayang is so near to Kepong. No wonder the car felt heavy. Hahaha. Anyway the car's fine. Okay, let's just move along and forget about that now.

I managed to get the car home, and then dad invites Wazir to join us for dinner, as Lay Kheng was on her way back from KLCC. *shock* Wazir and I just ate at college, but we just went along for a light snack anyway. I think everything went well, it wasn't as awkward as I always imagined Wazir's first meeting with dad to be. They talked, although not much, but it was a good effort.

Today has been incredibly hectic. First off, I had a ID critique session at 9.30am to 1.30pm; but Bernice emailed me a few days ago to let me know that she was organizing a Creative Writing Workshop by this Sri Lankan author, Romesh Gunesekera, at 10am til noon, and she was only selecting a few students from her Creative Writing class to attend. Right... Bloody clashing with my ID class, but I thought it would be interesting to find out what this workshop was about.

So I volunteered to go first for the critique, and left my original class a little early to attend the workshop. It was a mixture of Bernice's Sunway and Cenfad students. God. We were given like a couple of minutes per exercise to write, and everything I came up with was so simple and so not thought of properly, whilst everyone else came up with such deep, bombastic stuff. I felt so small during the entire workshop. Oh well. All participants received a free book, pen, and notebook from the British Council. :)

Anyway, after the workshop, I had to go back to my ID class, and participate in the other critiques. After that, I hardly had time to grab a quite bite, as it was off to Bernice's Creative Writing class. Class was aight, just individual tutorials. I pitched her my idea[s] for my character monologue, and she seemed really excited about it; so I've got the green light to continue. I had a long talk with Farid who expressed that he felt intimidated during the earlier workshop too. It was nice to know that I wasn't alone. We also chatted quite a bit about our experiences, coming from divorced families, and it was refreshing to talk about it, with someone who I could relate to.

I went to a friend's house today; a friend who I always assumed to be well-to-do. And I realized today, how people's homes are capable of telling you so much about a person.. I found out so much about that person from just looking at the living conditions he lived in, and today, I gained a newfound respect for him. :) I know not everyone is as lucky as I am, to be living in a lavish condominium in Mont'Kiara; and I am grateful for everything I have.

Anyway, emo-ness aside, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was rather disappointing, to say the least. Just google it and perhaps you'll find out why. Brynna enjoyed it, but that's only because she's too lazy to read the book. But the movie really was pretty rushed, in my opinion, making it not that enjoyable. Perhaps I had my hopes up too high?

Lately I keep finding myself too busy to blog. Well, not really too busy to blog, but too busy to really have anything to write about.

My weeks consist of making models, drawing plans, sketching, researching, and writing. In my free time perhaps I'll catch a movie with Wazir and Brynna once a month or so [which, by the way, Wazir and I used to do like once or twice a week]. And I don't exactly want to write about my work and workload, because having to work on it is already enough a bitch. I know that it may seem farfetched; after all, I only have 4 classes right [ID Studio, Creative Writing, Digital Presentation & Thesis Writing]-- but honestly, ID Studio takes up like 70% of my time already. Goshness.

Anyway I hope that this weekend I won't have to stress too much, because I've gotten a headstart on my work for Monday's class. Trying to do it bit by bit every night. And I'm going to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my darling and my sister Sunday evening and I'm going to enjoy myself and not think about the load waiting for me.

Oh, my nail art class the other day was fun. :) We went through the theoretical part of the course [gosh, I didn't know just doing nails could be so complicated!], and he thought me how to file and buff the proper way. Which, by the way, is also more complicated than you would think. But it's fun. Something to take my mind off things. :) Can't wait to learn how to put on extensions, hehe.

So... My weekend wasn't that great. Penang was okay, but I came down with a sore throat, flu, and slight fever the day before I got to Penang, so that kind of got me down. I also didn't get to meet and interview anyone, as I was supposed to. Everyone was too busy, so I pretty much just went around on my own and took pictures of some historic sites and heritage buildings, etc. Here are just a few pictures.

The Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion. I thought it was like really famous but when I couldn't find it and asked around, so many people didn't know where it was. But the tour was really interesting, well worth the RM 10.

The Meeting Hall at Khoo Kong Si.

The Khoo Kong Si temple, which used to be a clanhouse. Amazing stuff. I have tons of interior shots; too many to put up.

Hotel 1929.

I'm feeling pretty excited about my first nail art class tomorrow morning. Granted, I have to wake up at 9.30am on a day that I don't have to go to college, but what the hell. I think I'm really going to enjoy taking this class.

I went to the chiropractor today and saw the X-Rays that I took last week.. My backbone is curved and so is my neck.. Or something like that. Bottomline is, I've got to get it corrected or it'll get worse. He says that I need to go for treatment 3 times a week, for 6 months. Each visit is about RM 80. I'm just.. stunned. That is so much money. I can't believe I have to make my father fork out so much just to correct my bloody backbone. *sigh*

Tons of work to do this week. 1:20 scale detailed model, lots of reading for thesis, and a 3-page dialogue. Also haven't gone to the gym in a while, and have to schedule my stupid facial soon. Oh, and also have to return library books. So troublesome.

Tuesday :: Went to Toni and Guy at Lot 10 with my mum for my free haircut and colour. Sher told me a few weeks ago that some of the stylists at Toni and Guy are training for a promotion, therefore they need models. Cut and colour sponsored by the company. If any of you are interested, let me know.

Anyway the downside is that they're rather slow. But then again, I'd rather them be slow and do a good job than try to be quick and botch it all up. I was there from 2pm to 9+ pm. 7 bloody hours! They did a nice job, despite the length of my hair being a couple of inches shorter than I imagined it to be.

The back. No other pictures because I had terrible eyebags.

I just started classes again yesterday and well, it's all back to normal. Workload is piling up already. :P

So.. I probably won't be online for the rest of the week. I've got classes all morning and evening tomorrow, and am going to Penang straight after. Well, actually, we're stopping over at Taiping for a night, then heading to Penang Friday morning, til Saturday evening. >.< It's going to be a looong drive. I hate am disliking my thesis right now. Have to skip Amran's class on Friday too. :/

I tried working on my thesis but I feel so confused about where I'm headed and what I'm trying to write about. Inspiration doesn't come easily for me. I've contacted a couple of people in the field regarding my topic but still I feel like I'm unsure about what my objectives are.

I also misplaced my silver ring.. The one that I wear everyday, that matches Wazir's. The last I remember seeing it is when I took it off at the gym. I'm pretty sure I put it back on after my workout, but I'm not totally certain. I've called the gym and they said they didn't find anything. So.. Either some bastard bitch stole it from the locker room or.. It's somewhere in the house, and hopefully it will turn up over the next few days. If it doesn't.. I guess I'll have to get a replacement. Great. Spend more money.

I feel like crying. Bloody hell.

[edit 2346] :: I found my ring! It was erm.. in my underwear drawer. So odd. Anyway I don't care! I am so so so happy now!

Leave your name and[1] I'll respond with something random about you.[2] I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.[3] I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.[4] I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.[5] I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.[6] I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.[7] I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.[8] If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written!

So.. That should be fun. :)

Last night Wazir, Brynna and I watched Chicken Little. I booked tickets for 8pm, but we arrived late, and the only seats available were 1st and 2nd row from the screen. I hate sitting so close to the screen, so we decided to watch the movie some other time. The next screening was at 10pm and I thought Brynna would be too tired by that time. So, we went to get dinner and stuff, but she really wanted to catch this movie, so I went back to get the 10pm tickets. And guess what? Bloody hell, 2nd row from the screen again. But this time round, I got the tickets anyway, although I really didn't think it was worth RM23.

So at 10pm we entered the cinema and I realized it was the THX cinema.. 2nd row seats were actually pretty good! :) They weren't thaaat close to the screen, since it was the big cinema which they usually reserve for major screenings. Didn't know Chicken Little was so popular. Anyway. I enjoyed the cartoon. Like all Disney cartoons: feel-good, family shows.

I spent all Friday organizing and clearing my room. Picked up quite a lot of storage boxes and baskets from Ikea and was somehow inspired. Looking at my room makes me happy now. :) I know it's ironic that I'm an ID student, yet my own room's a mess.

I really haven't felt like writing much lately, so I'll just upload some random pictures instead.

This is what we do when we're bored at Cenfad.

Some stuff my mum brought back from US ::Birks.

Nine West slingbacks.

Guess handbag. There's more stuff I didn't take pictures of.

These were taken at Wazir's place ::Skye. Had to stick my foot in the pic to stop him from hopping off.

Pretty, pretty Smeagol, who likes to pose.

The KL library, which is much better than the National Library, trust me.

Today was tiring, to say the least. I'm on holiday but my mother has been waking me up at about 9am every day. It's bloody annoying.

Went to my mum's friend's parent's house early in the morning, with a chocolate cake; to find that their specialty was chocolate cake and that they already had one. :/ Heheh. Mum's friend, Aunty Lizzie wasn't there yet so we left the cake there and went to Wazir's house instead.

Mum wanted to visit Wazir and bring him and his sisters some cake as their parents are living in Dubai and they're here on their own. Wazir was adorable in his baju melayu. Didn't get to see his sisters as they were asleep; they were up all night cooking. Kesian. My darling rabbit, Skye looked so happy hopping around in Wazir's house. :) I definitely made the right decision, letting Skye live there instead of in my cramped condominium.

So after that, we went back to Aunty Lizzie's parent's place. Gosh, there were so many people. Found out that Aunty Lizzie's niece might want to enter Cenfad so I'll have to get some forms and information for her.

Went home and met up with dad for dinner. Wanted to go to OU but it was bloody full, so we went to Hartamas Shopping Centre instead. Was walking around when we saw Dermalogica and he decided to send me for a facial. So I signed up for a student package which consists of 7 sessions. Had my first session today. I was so tired and bored that I think I fell asleep for half of it. :P

Came home and finally decided to stop procrastinating and clean my room. I never realized how dusty it was under the bed, and how many stuffed toys I had hoarded in my room. My shelves are all bloody disorganized. It's time to get organized. :) Cleaning can be fun because I always feel a great sense of accomplishment when I'm done.

After I was done cleaning under my bed, I thought of painting my nails, so I got all the nail polish out. Ended up giving my mother a manicure and my sister a manicure and pedicure. As for my nails.. I got tired and couldn't be bothered with them after all. Speaking of painting nails, I'm thinking of going for this professional nail art course, to learn about the proper ways to do a mani and pedicure, as well as painting nail art. Bloody hell, getting a proper manicure done costs about RM60 I think. And that doesn't include nail art and all. The only gripe is the course is rather expensive. About RM4K for 3X16 hours. But it's plus materials so perhaps it's okay?

Off to bed. Have to get up at 9am, Brynna has piano class at 10am and mum always insists on breakfast.

My Halloween night was spent breaking fast with my ex-lecturer Shereen and her husband Abang Mi, Wazir, Joe, Stacy and Brynna at Hartamas Square. Halloween isn't such a big thing in M'sia but a lot of the Japanese kids at Mont'Kiara dressed up and went Trick or Treating. Caught us unprepared but luckily I had a stock of Kopiko sweets. Lol. Coffee sweets for kids. Well, it was that or nothing.

Today [2nd Nov] is Brynna's birthday, but we celebrated yesterday with a couple of her friends. She got some nice gifts :: a Samsung mobile phone from my father, a bicycle from my mother, a Fashion Fever Barbie from me and a Ripcurl cap from Wazir.

Anyway, Happy 11th Birthday, Brynna.

Want to go shopping so Wazir and I can buy that Zara tee he wants and the Lewre ballet flats I want. I kind of feel bad, though; after all, he's the one Raya-ing. It's just that I'm such a shoe freak and those babies are on sale now and if I don't get them soon they'll run out of my size; I know it. >.< Anyway we'll see how it goes. Maybe I don't need yet another pair of shoes. It's more important to me that he gets himself something new, at this point of time.

Oh, remember some time back I got a blogsome account so I could try out WordPress? Well Leo's such a sweetie that he got me my own WordPress blog. Props to him.

Will be going to Penang next weekend to do research for my thesis. It's going to be a long week, once I get back to college after this Deepavali-Raya break.