Today is Mardis Gras Day, or “Fat Tuesday” in case you didn’t know. That’s the holiday about boobs. At least, that’s how most people know of it. There’s also donuts involved in some cultures. That sounds perfect. Boobs, booze and donuts. Why would you want to complicate everything surrounding this holiday with facts and history? We don’t really want to, but we feel an obligation to. Partying for partying’s sake is something you do when you’re in your college years, or if you pursue writing as a career, your college years, plus five or six years following college. We’re not trying to spoil that for you, or ruin your buzz, we just want to arm you with Mardis Gras facts so that you’re a little more justified in your debauchery.

According to Wikipedia, Mardis Gras refers to:

“… events of the Carnival celebrations, beginning on or after Epiphany and culminating on the day before Ash Wednesday. Mardi gras is French for Fat Tuesday, referring to the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the Lenten season, which begins on Ash Wednesday; in English the day is sometimes referred to as Shrove Tuesday, from the word shrive, meaning “confess.”

So it’s your last night to party before you start Lent.

Lent is that period when Catholic people give up sweets, but continue to do things far worse than eat sweets. To their credit, some Catholic people give up bad stuff, like booze, which is what you should probably do. That way, when you start drinking at nine a.m. on Fat Tuesday, you can feel a little more justified.

What if you’re not Catholic?

That’s cool. This isn’t really a religious thing. It’s one of those seasonal holidays that’s magically adapted itself to several religions and cultures. The point is, you’re supposed to be good until Easter (or whatever your religion recognizes as its Spring time holiday,) which means you get to go apeshit the day before.

What do donuts have to do with all of this?

Well, a lot of people give up sweets. I guess once you run out of real problems, sweets become your only vice. On Fat Tuesday, which is actually the english translation for the term “Mardis Gras,” people eat a lot of sweet, fatty foods. That includes donuts. British people traditionally eat too many pancakes on this day. Boring. British.

Ok, that still doesn’t explain the boobs and beads phenomenon.

Yeah, we know. Our sources didn’t really expound on any of that information. We just have to assume it was a byproduct of intense celebration, that eventually became tradition, and who’s going to do away with a tradition like that? Let’s not bother explaining it. Let’s just enjoy it, unless it involves one of our female relatives.