Theory 3. Or a baby elephant

“Yes, but as well being a hose, it sort of looks like a baby elephant trunk, don’t you think” I added.

“Maybe that’s why my little one likes to swing it from side to side when I take his undies off before a bath? He’s doing the elephant!”

Cute but …

Theory 4. He thinks it’s rude

“I think my boys just like theirs because they think ‘penis’ is a rude word and ‘doodle’ is fun to say. Like ‘snot’, ‘bum’, or ‘poo’. It also wees, so there’s that.”

Yep, toilet humour is the best humour for kids. Makes perfect sense.

Theory 4. It’s nice to touch

“I hate saying this because he’s only three,” another friend quipped. “But we don’t know what it feels to have one. Maybe it’s nice to touch, not like in a sexual way yet, but in maybe a tingly way? I dunno!

And then we all said, “Ewww” – at the exact same time.

But, um, perhaps?

Theory 5. It’s a toy

“My son will sometimes play with his wiener when he’s bored. Like it’s a toy and something to do. He’ll lie in his blankie and just have a little play, until I suggest painting or that we build a train track,” giggled another.

“He’ll also put toys on it when in the bath, or just stretch it out like a lolly snake or a slinky!”

Theory 6. It has superpowers

Then another mum pointed out that a penis is a bit of a mystery to little ones. It’s unpredictable and a source of continued fascination, that let’s face it, only seems to grow as they get older.

“It can have a mind of its own, right?” She giggled.

“It gets bigger when they don’t understand why, it shrinks when in water, it jiggles when they move, especially when in the nude, and it even escapes sometimes out of their undies. It’s this little character in his pants who he can’t control.”

A friend he is getting to know, it seems. But a friend who is a total enigma.

Theory 7. He just loves it

“I once had to remove all these stickers from my son’s peen because he stuck them to it like he was adorning it. I don’t get it, Why? Why your penis???” I shared.