Q: What Did You Do Today, Daddy? A: I Read Magistrate Judge Goodman's Order on Fees!

The order was only 41 pages long -- sheesh who wrote it, Stephen King?

I'm not faulting the Judge for his thorough analysis, particularly where as here he was asked to award over $250k in fees against a group of lawyers from Carlton Fields, I'm just saying his orders can be exhausting.

In addition to the obligatory music reference (it's back!), the order is chock full of highlights -- the DC law firm seeking the award of fees had billed over $325k addressing these two discovery motions(!); forget DC rates, the Judge thinks you can even do a little better on fees than what Carlton Fields charges here in Miami; my favorite may be that it turned out an "unduly burdensome" objection over producing a database wasn't really all that burdensome:

Even more startling, the affidavit revealed that one Procaps database could be exported with less than one hour of time expended by a Procaps’ employee ‐‐ a far cry from Procaps’ counsel’s unduly burdensome objection.

So sit back, pop a nice bottle of wine, take a few hours and drink this one in.

As the Court previously advised counsel, the Court does not consider a Rule 37(a)(5)(A) expense‐shifting award to be a sanction or the imposition of discipline or an indication that anyone acted in bad faith. Rather, it is merely a consequence of taking certain unsuccessful discovery positions. Thus, this Order would not require the Carlton Fields law firm or any of the seven attorneys involved in the discovery dispute to answer “yes” if ever asked (e.g., by a prospective employer, by an insurance carrier, by a judicial nominating commission, by a client, or by a prospective client) if the firm or the attorneys had ever been sanctioned or disciplined.

Bullshit....you pay 500 bucks as a lawyer for a position you took, and you have been sanctioned. Just wait till a carrier denies coverage when a latter malpractice claim arises.....then you can make that argument. Goodman was just trying not to hurt local lawyers.

I am going to jump into my overpriced car, buy some over priced scotch, drive to the airport, take a flight in my client's over priced gulfstream to Miami. Once there, I will throw my money around and hookup with your wife when she is out with the "girls". Don't hate the player.....

In D.C. it is who you are or know - In Miami it is what you own or have.

No kissing ass, no need to "socialize", just pull out the cash, pay the cover, buy a bottle, land my short fat ass in the VIP and the rest takes care of itself. Sometimes I don't even bother to polish my shoes.

You are 100% correct - I love Miami AND your women. They really appreciate a guy flying in who knows how to have a good time, and then leaves.

Doesn't hurt my feelings one bit. I laugh at all you guys in the courthouse with your "trophy" wives because I know what they were up to when you were busy getting your rest.

Now, I am hungry - I slept in until 11 and need to get some brunch before I soak up some rays.