100 Rogue Goats Terrorize the Lawns of Boise

According to the Bible, several years ago, God unleashed ten plagues upon the people of Egypt. These included, but were not limited to: blood water, swarms of locusts, and painful, festering boils. Now, another, albeit much more adorable, plague has descended upon the people of Boise, Idaho — a swarm of 100 goats.

On Friday, KTVB reporter Joe Parris tweeted, “About 100 goats are on the loose right now in a #Boise neighborhood. They are going house to house eating everything in sight. Nobody has a clue where they came from,” along with several pictures of the rogue beasts.

#Breaking - About 100 goats are on the loose right now in a #Boise neighborhood. They are going house to house eating everything in sight. Nobody has a clue where they came from...updates to follow pic.twitter.com/K0ghUwQEfk

At first, the goats were of mysterious origin. Parris told the Washington Post, “They were eating, and they were eating fast,” and it seemed “like they had an itinerary,” though they were “extremely friendly.”

As the animals moved through the neighborhood, consuming all the souls greenery in their path, observers eventually managed to piece together that they belonged to a company called We Rent Goats, that, if you can believe it, rents out goats. Sadly, they’re not for cuddling, though. According to their website:

“We rent herds of goats to remove noxious weeds from fields, acreage, pastures, open spaces, ditches, ravines, embankments … you name it and the goats can clear it.”

As I just discovered, the company’s Photos page can also remove any noxious thoughts or feelings of sadness from your brain and heart.

The Post reports that the goats had been doing a job nearby when they broke through a fence and decided to paint Boise red. But eventually, We Rent Goats brought a truck to take the cloven-hoofed team back home.

Party is over “kids”! Loose goats have been cornered and loaded back onto a truck owned by “We Rent Goats” pic.twitter.com/qWHrb7X7n6