Shari Randall's"Pets" will be included in Chesapeake Crimes: Fur, Feathers, and Felonies anthology, which will be published in 2018. In the same anthology "Rasputin," KM Rockwood'sshort story, will also bepublished. Her short story "Goldie" will be published in the Busted anthology, which will be released by Level Best Books on April 25th.

In addition, our prolific KM has had the following shorts published as well: "Making Tracks" in Passport to Murder, Bouchercon anthology, October 2017 and "Turkey Underfoot," appears in the anthology The Killer Wore Cranberry: a Fifth Course of Chaos.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Lights! Camera! Action!

The internal dialogue of a writer:

“It’s going to be a bestseller!”

“No one will like. It will bomb.”

“No—an agent will snatch it off the slush pile, and say, ‘Eureka!’”

Have any of you experienced this internal dialogue? I’m a lousy judge of my own work. As easy as it is for me to judge others’ work, I can’t fathom my own. Critique group feedback may improve a script, but is no indication that a manuscript will sell. Even those who have won prestigious contests fail to garner book contracts. Endemic to the writing life, I careen from extreme optimism to extreme pessimism.

So often, neither extreme happens. I imagine most agent personnel reviewing first chapters or the first fifty pages conclude that most manuscripts are ho-hum. Not without merit, but not enough merit to garner any deal. The manuscripts will go the road of most others—a copy saved on the author’s hard drive, a hard copy placed forlornly by the author on their shelves. Some may opt to self-publish those manuscripts, but if unacceptable to an agent or publishing house, how could it be good enough to self-publish?

If the experts haven’t bought it, why would I presume to know better than those with vast experience in the industry? I dislike arrogance. It is unacceptable to me because within arrogance are self-important pufferies—lies, and I’m much too old to lie to myself. There are exceptions to the rule in self publishing. The other day I heard about a kid who published a YA book on Amazon and sold 450 thousand copies immediately. I don’t know if the kid even tried to get an agent—I think not, knowing that most kids are eternally optimistic and naïve. But then, the kid’s dreams came true, with just a little faith. As I said, it was an exceptional experience, which will be replicated by few.

I remember writing my second novel. I kept thinking of it as a movie. Shirley MacLean portrayed one of my leading lady characters. I saw her in the role, and may have subconsciously written the character based on her. By chance, I ran into Shirley MacLean at a cosmetics counter in a mall. Her family is from the Northern Virginia area near where I live. (Her stage name, although not spelled the same, is a tony Virginia suburb of D. C.) At first, I didn’t realize it was her because who the heck anticipates running into someone like that two weeks after Christmas in a shopping mall? We joked about cosmetic packaging. No, I didn’t have the nerve to tell her about my book. Afterward, I took it as an omen, a good omen. I was sure that my book would sell and Hollywood would grab the screen rights, and Shirley would take the role. It was all fantasyland. But then, I write fiction, why wouldn’t I script a winning role for myself?

Because of that experience, perhaps I am overcorrecting to guard against disappointment. I’m focusing on the process and not the result. As a professional (a suit I wear even if I’ve yet to garner the status or profit) I’m distancing and emotionally detaching. I’m writing the best book I can. If it succeeds, so be it, and if it fails, so be it. Will I self-publish if it fails with agents? No.

8 comments:

LOL! Been there felt that way. One thing that helps me keep going is accounts of authors whose work has been turned down by scores of agents before it gets accepted and becomes classic work. One agent/publisher's opinion is just one opinion. Twenty or thirty rejections are just opinions. My favorite short story, THE WRONG MAN, which is now in print. on line, available in audio format and what I most often read at conventions and book signings racked up more rejections than anything else I've ever written. Ha!

I waver from loving my own words to hating them multiple times during the course of the day. I often finish a day's writing knowing everything is drivel. I'll toss and turn all night trying to figure out why I ever thought I could be a writer... then the next day, I reread what I wrote and damn if it isn't really really good! I'd love to see a study of a writer's brain - there has to be some sort of twisting twirling mass common to all of us that causes such internal havoc.

Also, Elaine, as well as rejections being part of the process, publishing is going through changing times and that's probably not good for a first time novelist. In fact, it's not even good for midlist authors who have published 6 and more hardcover books.

I think you have to continue to be professional as you are and keep producing the best work you can.

Too funny, Elaine! I certainly understand the mood swings. sometimes I feel like I'm on one of those fair rides where the bottom drops out every so often--up, down, up, down--it's the way of things, I'm afraid. If we didn't have problems to start with, we would after a short time in this business.

I'm glad I'm not alone in going back and forth on the emotional pendulum. I never close myself off from criticism because I want to learn as much as I can...and yet, sometimes the critics are wrong and you have to listen to your muse.