I am seriously considering legally changing my name to “For the Children.” It would be both a Golden Ticket and a Get-out-of-Jail-Free card simultaneously. How could a policeman issue a citation to, or how could a jury rule against someone, who is literally “For the Children”? Who would not hire or vote for someone who proudly and lawfully proclaims themselves to be in writing as “For the Children”? With the rush of folks today legally changing their names to all sorts of crazy monikers (such as the awesome “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined” formerly known as plain old George), I’m surprised no one has taken this one yet.

During Galileo’s day, a similar phrase was in vogue. Any scientific argument, it seems, could be won with the simple dictum, ipse dixit. This loosely translates to “he himself has said it.” The “he” is the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, whose statements were taken to be so self-evident and persuasive that no vulgar, obstinate, or contrary experimentation or fact gathering was necessary. Over the centuries (and with the growing acceptance that the earth really does orbit the sun), ipse dixit has fallen out of favor as a war cry of the empirically challenged. Luckily for Progressives, today there is a substitute phrase just as simple yet all-powerful and un-questionable. That is why we hear so many irrational arguments from politicians and activists for more legislation, more regulations, and more spending end with the plaintive wail, “It’s for the children!” Children (if they actually manage to survive that other great Progressive cause of “Choice”) serve as a cause célèbre and a one-size-fits-all human shield for those on the Left to further their agenda.

My state’s sanctioned gambling enterprise is actually entitled “The North Carolina Education Lottery.” Get it? It means, “It’s for the children.” I’m sure the legislature at the state capital thought this would be a more enticing title than simply calling it “A Tax on Stupidity.” It seems to have been a good choice. Now every time the citizens of my state purchase a scratch-off ticket or place a dollar on the Powerball, we are able to congratulate ourselves on just how much we love the children. And even though the promised lottery windfalls have failed to materialize “for the children,” for the Progressive promoters, it is truly only the thought that counts.

Real-life children provide the perfect prop for any Left-leaning initiative. They come in a wide variety of ages and ethnic backgrounds to fit any Progressive cause. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a real life child as an accessory piece is priceless. For example:

Need a cute little cherub to promote your doomed socialized healthcare takeover? Look no further than Marcelas Owens. The name doesn’t ring a bell? Well surely you’ve seen him. Marcelas has been immortalized in the historic photo of President Obama signing The Affordable Healthcare Act into law. He’s the dapper young man standing next to Joe Biden during the event the Vice President so eloquently described as “a big f-ing deal.” Marcelas was chosen as the accessory for this event after the tragedy of losing his mother to pulmonary heart disease when she did not have insurance. Now, thanks to Obamacare, millions of more mothers will be losing their health insurance, too.

Little Dasani has just become the latest Prog-prop by making her debut at New York mayor de Blasio’s recent inauguration. You see, Dasani is homeless and she served well as an illustration of the evils of social and economic inequality. Dasani’s parents are also drug addicts who cannot care for their other children either, but this inconvenient truth was not mentioned during the new self-avowed socialist mayor’s ceremony. These facts did not fit with the “evil rich versus poor-through- no-fault-of-their-own” Progressive theme of the event.

Children promoting gay marriage seems to be the hottest fad in the Progressive portfolio at the moment. For example, there’s 9-year-old Ethan McNamee who we are supposed to believe actually single-handedly organized an event at the Capitol in Denver, Colorado, to promote the idea that his lesbian neighbors should be allowed to marry. Of course, on further questioning, Ethan’s mother admits he couldn’t do it solely on his own. His third grade teacher had to sign the permit for him and Ethan did have to consult an LGBT lawyer for legal advice. One of Ethan’s supporters at the event made the statement, “Him stating this might make people see it more. His impression seems more genuine.” Yep, Ethan is definitely not a prop.

But, you say, there are so many other causes under the Progressive Agenda Rainbow. Surely there are not enough children to go around? Fear not, if the Left wants something done, they will find a child to promote it. Got parents who are illegal immigrants with forged documents, I mean, undocumented Dreamers seeking amnesty? Then Katherine Figueroa is your girl. Looking for a 13-year-old indigenous environmental activist, rapper and public speaker who is also the youth director of Earth Guardians, a youth based environmental non-profit organization that is committed to protecting the water, air, earth, and atmosphere? Then Xiuhtezcatl Martinez (his first name pronounced ‘Shoe-Tez-Caht’) is your man. And by the way, Xiuhtezcatl is also the youngest member of the 2013 Presidential Youth Council.

But is there any Progressive cause that the Left will not employ children to promote? In a word, no. The startling ironic use by Texas pro-abortion supporters of their own children to actually promote abortion illustrates this horrific truth. These Progressives actually used little children holding posters featuring coat hangers to promote the killing of children. Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah.

Child “suffragette” Madison Kimrey has become somewhat of a Progressive celebrity in my state. The 12 year old became politically active after her mother attended a rally in support of Planned Parenthood. Little Madison must be extremely grateful her mother didn’t follow the abortion mill’s “plan” 13 years ago. She has now decided to take on our state governor over recent changes in the voting laws that eliminate early registration for 16 and 17 year olds. Madison adamantly denies she is a prop for the Left and eloquently states her reason for choosing political activism thusly, “A lot of my friends are 16 and 17 and I thought it was important and I said, ‘Hey — that sucks.’” Well said, Madison. Well said, indeed.

In a former life I taught Social Studies to middle schoolers in the twelve to fourteen year old age range. My classes were full of beautiful intelligent children like Marcelas, Dasani, Ethan, Katherine, Xiuhtezcatl, and Madison. They were bright and inquisitive, hopeful and idealistic, gullible and naïve. I can honestly say from experience, that is not the age group that should be setting the political agenda of the nation.

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