clyph:Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.

Hell. Sometimes not understanding is better. I don't know what it feels like to strap a car battery to my nuts while body builders bash my knees with metal rods but I'm willing to accept that it hurts. I don't really want to know how badly it hurts

clyph:Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.

I dated an insanely hot first generation Korean girl back in the late 80's, and she tried to stick a fork through my scrotum because she bought me a pair of silk boxers and I wasn't wearing the very next day when we had sexytime. That should have set off red flags, but I'll admit I stuck with her until after she burned my penis with spaghetti sauce from the stove. That was the last straw.

Lsherm:clyph: Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.

I dated an insanely hot first generation Korean girl back in the late 80's, and she tried to stick a fork through my scrotum because she bought me a pair of silk boxers and I wasn't wearing the very next day when we had sexytime. That should have set off red flags, but I'll admit I stuck with her until after she burned my penis with spaghetti sauce from the stove. That was the last straw.

Lsherm:I dated an insanely hot first generation Korean girl back in the late 80's, and she tried to stick a fork through my scrotum because she bought me a pair of silk boxers and I wasn't wearing the very next day when we had sexytime.

Yeah, this is why I'm still single. Women invariably pull some shiat like this with me, and I walk away before it gets serious. I have yet to meet a lesbian who wasn't crazy, addicted, or in recovery. I know there are some out there, but I've yet to meet one.

My cousin's neighbor's older brother gave some Spanish Fly to this crazy redhead once and when he came back to the car after going to get some rubbers he found her impaling his pet rabbit on the gear shift...

Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month--a cutter--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.// I'm sure others will have better encounters

alwaysjaded:Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month--a cutter--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.// I'm sure others will have better encounters

To test this idea, they invited 111 college students (64 percent women) into their laboratory. Each student was photographed soon after they arrived. Then, after taking this initial photograph, each student asked to change out of their own clothes and put on a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. Women were instructed to remove any makeup, and anyone with long hair was asked to pull it back into a ponytail. The students were then photographed in this more natural state. Holtzman and Strube showed both sets of photographs to a group of strangers who rated them in terms of physical attractiveness. By comparing the attractiveness ratings of the dressed-down and dressed-up students, the researchers were able to determine how much each student was able to make themselves more appealing through flashy clothes, makeup, accessories, etc.

SarahDiddle:alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month--a cutter--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.// I'm sure others will have better encounters

But did you get laid?

No. That was supposed to be the night but it's really hard to get in the mood when you can hear your dick screaming frantically.

The worst part is she is the clerk of the regional dispatcher for the Northwest of my job. I have to tread carefully or else I'll never work again at any jobs near the Pacific Northwest. Really wish I would have followed the rule of dating co-workers.

alwaysjaded:--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

All of her friends and sisters are married and having babies, just guessing. She's tormented by her FB feed every day.

alwaysjaded:SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month--a cutter--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.// I'm sure others will have better encounters

But did you get laid?

No. That was supposed to be the night but it's really hard to get in the mood when you can hear your dick screaming frantically.

The worst part is she is the clerk of the regional dispatcher for the Northwest of my job. I have to tread carefully or else I'll never work again at any jobs near the Pacific Northwest. Really wish I would have followed the rule of dating co-workers.

GAT_00:alwaysjaded:--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

All of her friends and sisters are married and having babies, just guessing. She's tormented by her FB feed every day.

That's most likely true. She seems a bit young to be having baby fever that bad but who knows. I didn't really press the issue, I just wanted the check as quickly as possible.

alwaysjaded:SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

/wow, crazy story, bro//just had a woman yell at me for zoning out after work, dinking around on the 'net and watching sports, instead of talking to her about my day (a day in which nothing of consequence happened)///why, yes, I am married

How, as a man, is this in any way acceptable to you? Are you sure you aren't crazy?

More importantly, this is the kind of crazy you can see even if you want to fark a chick. What the hell is wrong with you?

I'm not sure you read my entire post. She dumped all this shiat on me at (and this is the important part) the end of our LAST date, after she had a few. There's no farking way in hell that would be acceptable to me.

And MMM, I did. Luckily, I got shipped back home and will be elsewhere for the rest of the year.

thisisyourbrainonFark:alwaysjaded: SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

/wow, crazy story, bro//just had a woman yell at me for zoning out after work, dinking around on the 'net and watching sports, instead of talking to her about my day (a day in which nothing of consequence happened)///why, yes, I am married

GAH!! Just looking at that meme and finally talking about it is making me want to hit the whiskey this evening.

And yea, I hate having to recount a day when nothing of importance happened.

Because someone bundled up in a flannel nightgown talking about organizing our charitable donations receipts so we're ahead of the game before tax time just doesn't get the reptilian adrenaline pump working like the chick wearing only your bowling trophy screaming she loves you while trying to get a poorly-maintained chainsaw started as she clings to the hood of your speeding car with her other hand?

Don't:Let her know where you live or workLeave anything valuable over at her placeGet attachedGet her pregnantMarry Her

Optional:If she is married and starts talking about divorcing her husband for you. Run for your life

Follow those and you should be fine

Don't forget to have a throw-away phone. Whenever you meet Crazy, just go out and buy some airtime. This is hard-learned lesson I am now passing on to you folks.

Otherwise, yeah, try to lie as best you can about where you work, and always have an excuse for why you can't go to your place. I always pretend to have a wife or girlfriend (the bonus is that only gets them hotter, knowing thinking she's stealing it).

Farkettes, you might view this post as crass, but the thing is, real life has taught me these defenses. I hate to come off sounding like a jerk, but the fact is that all men have or will eventually stick their dick in crazy. We need to put together a handy guide for it.

Swedgin:Mugato:...Don't:Let her know where you live or workLeave anything valuable over at her placeGet attached

A trick I've never learned.

No shiat. My penis seems to be an infallible sociopath detector.

only took me 48 years to stop DATING THE BROKEN ONESthey still look attractive but I KNOW that if I am attracted, that there must be something wrong with them, I look a little harder and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUN AWAY

Lsherm:More importantly, this is the kind of crazy you can see even if you want to fark a chick. What the hell is wrong with you?

she hid this from him until 3 weeks ...plus when you get into the detailsdate 1 - everyone is on best behaviordate 2 - movie and dinner - you talk about the moviedate 3 - making the 2 backed monsterdate 4 - everyone is on best behavior because you still want to repeat date 3

3 weeks later you start getting into reality ...FFS

I have been told that I share too much information, too early. Should wait 3 weeks.But others are not sharing until months later .... WTF

clyph:Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

My ex-fiancee was remarkably hot. She looked like a cross between Reese Witherspoon and a young Cybil Shepherd. She turned heads and farked like a rabbit.

Plus she had a master's degree and a serious overlap in literature, music and movies. My family adored her and my mom and sister started making wedding plans shortly after they met her.

Things were good. When she was sober. She is an angry drunk. One night she got blitzed then got in a fistfight with a neighbor (who was totally nice and rational.) I managed to get that plead down from a misdemeanor to a violation. And I got her off the bottle for a few months. But she started drinking again and took it out on me. The Night of the Flying Plates was when I realized that it was over. I barely managed to get out, uninjured, through a window and spent the night in a nearby park.

Tried to get her into inpatient rehab, but she was having none of that. So I left.

There are crazy guys out there too. Don't let the crazy stick his dick in you. I almost ended up married to the guy. "Thankfully" things went south before the wedding. The fun part is that after he got out of jail for what he did, he expected me to "get over it" and we'd get back together.

His crazy was apparently hereditary. His mother flipped her wig after he got arrested. Got barred from the court room by the judge for her crazy. Broke passed security and got arrested for coming into court the next day.

He moved to CA a few years after jail and ended up killing himself in a DWI..... with two 16 year old girls in the car with him. His mom blamed me for the whole "defamation" campaign and all police officers were under my "control".

My fling with crazy was a gorgeous, 5' 10" Swedish gal. We met in a bar, went out to dinner the next night. Asked what she wanted for dessert and she replied, "You." I shoulda known right then.

OK, I did. But it was my turn for crazy.

We had break-the-bed sex, then snuggled. She was nattering about her family when a hunch prompted me to ask, "How old were you when your father started abusing you?" She started crying and asked how I knew. I just did.

Turned out she was an ex-hooker, had a coke habit, and was a mean drunk. I remember a Heineken bottle passing by my ear to break against the wall.

But Gott damn, that gal loved to fark! Got me into my first threesome, with an equally tall brunette lesbian. There were a couple of foursomes, as well. Crazy is contagious.

Lasted about six months. Then she said some "old friends" were making life in Denver difficult for her. She had a job offer as a horse trainer in Arizona. So I drove her in a U-Haul truck to Flagstaff and flew home.

Drank heavily in strip clubs for a couple of weeks and then I was over her and crazy.

That was over 20 years ago and I'm still getting the weirdest boner. :-)

SpaceyCat:There are crazy guys out there too. Don't let the crazy stick his dick in you. I almost ended up married to the guy. "Thankfully" things went south before the wedding. The fun part is that after he got out of jail for what he did, he expected me to "get over it" and we'd get back together.

His crazy was apparently hereditary. His mother flipped her wig after he got arrested. Got barred from the court room by the judge for her crazy. Broke passed security and got arrested for coming into court the next day.

He moved to CA a few years after jail and ended up killing himself in a DWI..... with two 16 year old girls in the car with him. His mom blamed me for the whole "defamation" campaign and all police officers were under my "control".