A couple of weeks ago when I wrote about changing my diet, only a few of you griped! What is up with that? Only one of you accused me of bragging, and then only one other told me I was susceptible to fads! Where is all the spit and vinegar? YOU GUYS. I AM BULLYING YOU WITH MY DIET.

A lot of you had some questions for me, so I thought I’d actually collect them all and answer them here, for those interested. For those who just can’t be bothered, well then, SCADOODLE. Go attend to your more pressing matters. Like that poo you need to take.

Do you just eat pasture-raised beef?

I wish I could say that I only eat the meat of the cow I’ve raised in my own backyard. Billie Jo, that’d be her name. And she would taste lovely. We’d give her a proper goodbye complete with a slideshow of her life, and then as we grilled her flanks we’d reminisce about how she used to stand there, eat grass, and poop.

I try to eat only pasture-raised beef. Yes, it is more expensive and not always easy to find. And then when I do find it I inspect the label and see that it has been shipped from Uruguay. Which means that the fuel used to ship it here sort of defeats the purpose of trying to save the world.

I guess you could say that I do the best I can with what I’ve got. I recommend watching Food Inc. to understand that enormous change needs to happen in this country when it comes to our food supply. Since I can afford to buy meat that has been raised humanely and without hormones or antibiotics, I do. I think I have a responsibility to do so.

How did you feel after that tostada?

While I was shoving that tostada in my mouth it tasted better than anything I have ever eaten. Twenty minutes later I felt like I might die. In fact, death sounded like fun.

What do you eat before working out?

Since I always work out in the morning, my fuel is breakfast. I’ll be totally honest here and tell you that I don’t know if I could continue to eat this way if it weren’t for Larabars, and no, they did not pay me to say that. In fact, after I wrote about going Paleo they actually contacted me and said, hey, do you know about our bars? And I was like, um… I have sex with your bars every morning.

The bars are gluten-free and contain no GMOs. I buy them in bulk at Costco. Some mornings I’ll have the apple pie bar (raisins, walnuts, almonds, apples, dates, and cinnamon) plus a fruit shake made with bananas, strawberries, and a little bit of orange juice.

And then! Sometimes I will go all out and do something like this:

You go right ahead and get your mind out of the gutter!

Rico’s is a local company, and they make the best guacamole and salsa that I can find in town.

We use these eggs because the chickens are cage free, but I’m hoping that once Kate’s chickens start laying their own eggs that she will let me shop at her house.

And these are the best sausages in terms of ingredients we can find. YES. SAUSAGE. SAUSAGESOME.

Nope. Not at all. It works because the foods I’m eating are totally satiating, and I notice that where before I would want a second serving, I’m now full before I finish a meal. This, for me, is the best part of living this way because I’m no longer walking around all day looking at the sofa or the coffee table and thinking they might taste good with a whole bunch of salt.

How did you manage this in Bangladesh?

Cooked meat. Plus I smuggled an entire box of Larabars in a plastic bag duct-taped to my torso.

How is this affecting your poop or lack thereof?

People, I have never been more regular. Some of you used to tell me that you would go poop at least three times a day, and I was all, SHUT UP YOU POOP BRAGGER. Not possible. You’re stealing someone else’s poop and claiming it as your own.

Since this website is loaded with information you did not need to know, I’ll just go ahead and tell you that I poop at least three times a day. My poop is totally better than your poop.

How did you make the leap? Was it a gradual change? If so, what did you start cutting out first?

The first thing I cut out was processed food. No more “bagged” food like chips. Then I cut out white bread and switched to whole grain pasta. Then I cut those out of about 80% of my meals. Then I discovered Paleo and cut them out entirely. I wasn’t eating that much sugar to begin with (I prefer salty things like French fries and George Clooney’s hair), so I dropped sugar, dairy, and legumes cold turkey AND NOW I’M JUST BRAGGING.

What were some of the difficulties?

Don’t hate me for saying this, but there haven’t been any. This has been the easiest change I’ve ever made in terms of what I eat. I love eating this way. Wait, there has been one difficulty: Tyrant’s incessant mocking. I fully expect to walk up to the office one day only to find a dead cow lying across my desk.

Has this lifestyle change affected your psych meds?

No. I am not willing to risk going off any of my medication. Period.

Is Jon participating?

No. He’s still recovering from gallbladder surgery and the tiniest thing can make him feel sick. One day a salad put him in bed for the day. But he’s been really nice about it and isn’t standing over me crumbling gourmet cheese onto my forehead.

Related:

I started eating Paleo last fall as part of a food challenge through my gym (yo, Roots!). I don’t do it 100% of the time because I love beer far, far too much, but when I do stick to Paleo I generally feel great. Another good resource is Inherent Appetite, a food blog by one of my coaches.

Heather, if you feel good and strong and healthy, that’s what is important. Great job on sticking with it.

jamiefriggin

I’ve been interested in Paleo since a friend started a CrossFit gym and began raving about it. Hearing about your success is what finally pushed me to try it. I’m on my fifth day, and it’s pretty awesome. I am rarely hungry. That’s by far the biggest improvement. I have had some headaches and dizziness from the carb withdrawals, but they are very manageable. The key for me has been to drink a couple of liters of water a day or as close to that as I can get. I hope I see improvement weight-wise (I work out with a trainer 4 times a week too), but just feeling as good as I do is enough for the moment.

I definitely second the part about the Larabars. I eat one a day, usually just before I work out. Cherry Pie and Ginger Snap are to die for!

Very glad you’ve found a diet that makes you feel great, and thanks for unknowingly giving me the little shove I needed to try it too. Do keep us posted on your progress.

Missybeme

Tell Jon I am 1 year post gallbladder surgery and sometimes a salad will do the same thing to me (almost instantly)! At times, I’m affraid to eat vegetables. The trade off is not waking up in horrid pain every other night, feeling like you are having a heart attack after eating or having constipation so bad you throw up. I wish I could say it gets easier, but…as far as I’m aware…I don’t know what day my stomach will allow the salad to stay or what day it will reject it outright. It’s kind of like digestion roullette!

ladygray

i’m totally intrigued… i’ve been trying to find a good diet to implement in our house to guide us towards more natural foods and to cut out processed foods.

however, no cheese?! i’m shaking in my cheese-addicted boots…

kymmi

How do you handle planning meals for your family? Do you make 2 different meals, or try to alter 1 that both can be either Paleo or non depending on side dishes? I’m cautiously interested (although there is the whole wine habit to kick) but am fairly certain neither husband or 7 year old daughter will be interested in it.

CalissaLeigh

@dooce Great point! The Greeks and Japanese and Chinese and so on eat very similarly. Loved the book, Why The Chinese Don’t Count Calories.

m_kwest

I’m only offended that your fork and napkin are on the wrong side of your plate, and that your knife should be facing the other direction. Other than that, great information!

CalissaLeigh

I just looked to see if chocolate was on this lifestyle eating plan. I didn’t see it listed.

MsMegan

You do eat fruit though, right? I guess so since you eat Lara Bars (my husband has a gluten sensitivity and loves them). My only reservation about any of this is the carb thing. I’ve done no-carb before and I it made me horribly depressed and eventually the thought of eating just made me sick. The carbs in the fruit would probably be enough though.

And no cheese? Or french fries? Or french fries covered in cheese? Ever? What’s the point in living?

Seriously though, if it works for you and it’s a lifestyle change you are happy with… it’s all good.

mahlookma

Just in case it’s even remotely helpful (with regards to that entire pasture-fed beef thing), http://www.localharvest.org has a number of places listed that should be relatively local to you. There’s also a Salt Lake City-specific local food blog at http://www.localfoodbee.com that has a page about meat.

I’m connected to neither of these sites, but do use Local Harvest to find local farm goods in my area.

Howard62

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news about those “cage-free” eggs, but according to The Cornucopia Institute’s organic egg scorecard (seriously: http://www.cornucopia.org/organic-egg-scorecard/) Oakdell rank pretty poorly, as in “produced on industrial-scale egg operations that grant no meaningful outdoor access.” Alas, cage free doesn’t mean much these days, other than, well: no cages.

Food is one of the defining issues of our time – thanks for the great info and resources!

tokenblogger

Tell them it’s not a fad! It’s been around for 15-20 years. It’s so not a fad and was once called the Caveman Diet!

Janice

Thank you so very much for posting this. I was hoping you would gather the questions and answer them. I asked about the psych meds because I also don’t want to alter mine at this time. I’m halfway through Mark Sisson’s book and hoping that a gradual transition to this lifestyle will both help health and I can join the three-poops-a-day club. Mine is more projectile after gallbladder surgery several years ago. Really. Thank you for sharing.

MrsIngie

I had my gallbladder removed last May and Robb Wolf recommended I take Now Food super enzymes (orange bottle) which Jon should get asap. Take 1 capsule, add until you get heat where your ribs meets your rib cage, up to 5 capsules with meals that contain fat. I now fully eat Paleo with lots of fat (except my cheat bag of chips on period day) and have no problems digesting the fat at all. I only poo every three days now!!! I am jelliz of your poo.

abs55

I love, love, love Larabars! I think they taste so much better than the sugary, fake protein bars and they’re so much better for you.

malisams

@dooce, seriously, what about bourbon/whiskey? i know you love it. that might be the deal breaker for me attempting this diet…well, that and the cheese. WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHEESE?

mama without instructions

Not to be a pain in the ass on details, but since you are obviously really into all of this I don’t feel like too much of a jerk saying that “cage free” means almost nothing (kind of like “natural”). Technically it means the chickens have access to the outdoors through a door, which may not even be open and outdoors may be a a dirt patch. If you can find some real eggs from pasture raised chickens (or your friend’s back yard birds) you will not believe the difference in taste and how they make you feel (even better!). This isn’t a criticism, just a friendly note. We all do what we can with what is available to us!

Zerojet

I do love the larabars. I also just discovered Pure Organic bars and had a love affair with their apple pie bar. Wow. so tasty!

They seem to be cheapest thru their site, amazon is oddly more expensive. I have tried the chocolate brownie, cherry cashew, apple cinnamon and blueberry and they are all good!

@jan001, There’s a version of the paleo diet called Slow Carb. It’s just like paleo except you can eat legumes. Cottage cheese is also permitted. You also get a cheat day once a week where you can eat whatever foods you want in any quantity, to keep your metabolism from stalling, and to confine your cheating to one day per week rather than a little here, a little there.

lori.ann.mcvay

OK – I was ALL excited about this diet at first. My booty has gotten IMMENSELY HUGE since I stopped running last year (thanks to the deadline on my Ph.D. dissertation). So I thought “Hooray! A new, healthy diet!” Alas, it looks pretty much like Atkins. And after Atkins a few years ago, I quickly gained back double the amount I lost. Not sure this will work as a long-term solution. Any thoughts?

BuenoBabyGirl

OK, so I saw a snippet of Food Inc. on Oprah and, since then, I’ve been wondering [maybe someone here knows]…when I buy cage-free eggs are they the eggs which come from those chickens who walk 5 steps and then have to rest on their unnaturally large chicken asses? [FYI-I didn't have a chance to read the other comments, because I have small children. Maybe someone has already addressed this.]

jcgrome

Congratulations! I am totally jealous of your ability to live a happy life without cheese. I will never even attempt such a feat but I will suggest that you check out http://www.eatwild.com if you & your readers don’t already know about it. It’s a wealth of information but most importantly it tells you where you can locally purchase things like bulk grass fed beef (we buy 1/4 of a cow 2x per year for our deep freeze), free range chicken, turkey, eggs etc & other non GMO foods. Our family loves it – we eat healthier, cheaper & easier because of it. BTW – you should totally plant a garden Heather & make Tyrant get his pretty little hands dirty

AbbeyWrites

After your post last week I started looking into the paleo diet. I’ve been sick for over a year with hypothyroidism and nothing seems to be making me feel 100%. I also gained 70lbs during my undiagnosed hypothyroid year, which wasn’t fun, and, although I’m down a bit of weight, I’ve got 50lbs that won’t come off. And I’m 27 and I have joint pain! who has joint pain at 27? I planned on starting *gluten free* this week until I started doing some research into the paleo thing. Everything I read makes sense, especially for me. I just want to feel better and I will do whatever it takes, even if that means never eating cheese again. All of my friends think I’m insane for trying this, but my health is poor and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.I started Monday on the diet and am following it pretty well except for chickpeas. I know they aren’t on the diet, but . . . Indian food. So, I’m going to try the diet for a month. If I don’t feel better I’m going to get rid of the chickpeas, much to my dismay. I think I’m already feeling a difference, though. I feel like crap but also really good, if that makes any sense at all. Even though I’ve kept a low-carb, sprouted-grain only diet for awhile, I haven’t done the gluten free thing and right now I feel gluten detoxing from my body. I’m in pain (from hypo or whatever) and uncomfortable and my bowels aren’t enjoying themselves at this moment, but behind that I feel pretty good. Not right this moment, but during the day I’m good. But, I’m starving. OMG I’m so hungry all the time. I just don’t know what to do! My lunch is gigantic now that I’m not eating rice to keep me full and I’m still about ready to eat tree bark. I have never been this hungry in my life (well, except for the stint of anorexia). Maybe I’ll try those bars. I’ve tried fish, nuts, fruit, veggies, meat, and I still want to empty my refrigerator into my gullet. Oh, god, now i’ve got to go back to the bathroom you bully bitch. bitch bully? It’s late.

Smash

I’ve heard nothing but good things about the Paleo Diet from clients and family. My sister paired that diet with Jillian Michaels’ 30 day shred and she’s in incredible shape now!

Also, I can’t help but notice the lovely silverware in your breakfast picture. Where is it from or where could I find a similar set? Registering for my wedding soon and new tableware is at the top of the list. It’ll be quite the step-up from our collection of knives and forks stolen from local restaurants, courtesy of my Fiance’s siblings.

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