necrophilia

necrophilia: a paraphilia of the stigmatic/eligibilic type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to, and [dependent upon]{contingent on} not a live partner, but a corpse [from Greek, nekros, dead + -philia]. There is no reciprocal paraphilic condition except in the make-believe of being dead and copulating in a coffin in preparation for burial--for which there is no technical term.

Although some nodes on e2 (necrophilia for dummies, for example)
seem to prefer just joking the matter away, the fact is ignored that there are
quite a lot of people out there who are necrophile, and have necrophile tendencies.
This writeup is not for them. This writeup is for those of you who are curious
about what necrophilia is, and it tries to give some insight into why someone
can be a necrophile. It might be worth noting that I am not a necrophile.

How many people are necrophiles?

It is hard to put a number on something like this. Think about it this way:
Very many homosexuals have a hard time "coming out of the closet",
or admitting they are homosexual, even though statistically as many as 1/7 may
have homosexual or bisexual tendencies.

In other words: Considering it is so hard for people to come out with something as "common" as homosexuality, it is understandable that very few people will admit to being necrophiles.

Unfortunately, most sexual preferences that are not normal (i.e. everything
other than heterosexuality) is met with a great deal of scepticism and prejudice.
That is all right, it is a natural part of being human. However, if you are
not willing to be openminded about sexual preferences (including necrophilia),
you might as well go read something else.

Okay - here goes.

By definition, Necrophilia describes the sexual inclination towards engaging
in intimate acts with a dead person. This does, however, not mean that a necrophile
per definition would kill to have sex with a person - in fact, Various studies
show the exact opposite. Stories have gone round about people going to graveyards,
digging up rotting corpses for the sake of sexual intercourse - although some
people are bound to have this fantasy, this also seems to apply to just a minority
of necrophiles.

So what is necrophilia is all about?

Unfortunately (for the sake of this node) I am not a necrophile, and I cannot
give a first-hand experience / story. I have done some research, however, and
most of the things in this writeup will be more or less a regurgitation
of the thoughts and ideas I have come across. If anyone knows that I have made
any mistakes or omissions, please do contact me, so I can correct.

Sexual intercourse with a deceased is intense. Although this is pretty
much stating the obvious

Necrophilia often is closely connected with Somnophilia, sexual intercourse
with sleeping partners.

Necrophilia is harmless. If we assume that the necrophile doesn't kill
his/her chosen one theirselves, Necrophilia is completely harmless. A dead body
will not be physically or mentally harmed from the experience, in contrast with
other (far more common) sexual paraphilies, such as BDSM (some forms, anyway), Rape and Rape
Fantasies etc.

Necrophilia is not just the fantasy of having sex with a dead person - it
can also be fantasy of being that dead person. Although this obviously
is impossible, this seems to be a quite normal fantasy, in particular for female
necrophiles.

Necrophilia can be a way of saying good bye - Quite a few of the necrophile
sexual encounters that I came across were once-in-a-lifetime (no pun intended)
encounters, when someone would be a part of their loved one's dying away, ending
in an eventual death. The last sexual encounter after death would be some sort
of farewell, just like a last kiss.

It is quite normal for morticians to be necrophiles - During a conversation
I had with a belgian mortician, he told me that quite a lot of morticians
were necrophiles. (That was the way he said it, but I assume it is the other
way around - Quite a lot of necrophiles choose to be morticians). Apparantly
it is not very uncommon that corpses that pass through a funeral home are
subject to sexual attention from the staff working here.

For most necrophiles, the fantasies stay fantasies - Most sexual tendencies
can be repressed - you keep hearing stories about homosexual people who marry
someone of the opposite sex, either because it is more practical, because
they want to cover up their homosexuality, or because they fall
in love (I hear your arguments about homosexuals not being able to love someone
of their own sex, but I disagree - you don't fall in love with a gender - you
fall in love with a person. Besides, Love and sexuality are not neccesarily
connected.)

Necrophilia can be about trust and respect - If a couple plays out a
necrophilia RPG (Role Playing Game), one has to be able to trust each other.
Some necrophiles like the fantasy of drugging their partner, leaving them
unconscious. Obviously, handling the partner with care and respect is paramount
if such a thing is to "work". This goes further as well. The few necrophiles
I have spoken to all said that respect for a sexual partner was important, whether
they are alive or dead.

Necrophilia can be performed for the deceased's best. This was the idea
I found was most difficult to come to terms with. As such, I don't think I will
be able to explain it properly. The idea is something like this: Although a
corpse cannot feel anything, there is a certain spiritual bonding when one
has sex. This spiritual bonding would occur regardless if both of the parts
would be alive or not. As such, having sexual intercourse (or any sexual activity)
one last time can be done as sort of a respectful act - a last drop of sexual
attention before the body starts to deteriorate,
if you will.

I am not sure how much sense this writeup makes, but I promise this is the
best and most respectful approach to necrophilia I can offer. As said before
- corrections and suggestions are very welcome.