For single career women who feel in control professionally, you know how lost you can sometimes feel when it comes to finding “The One.” Why is it so hard to get a guy’s attention for more than just a few dates? Meeting your soul mate requires a lot of personal work in order to know, love and respect yourself.

If you are looking to deepen the connection you have with others and find fulfilling love that lasts, then stop focusing on conditional love and start by attracting the right kind of partner.

Here are our top five tips to help you find your man:

1. Just Be Your Gorgeous Self

To attract other singles, and to feel confident, you need to look your best. Even if you’re someone who doesn’t find themselves beautiful, I’m sure there are some days when you look at yourself in the mirror and feel better looking than at other times. Maybe it’s a bit of makeup, a new haircut or something you wear that makes you feel comfortable. Live a healthy and balanced life and allow yourself to be the most gorgeous version of you!

2. Let The Chase Be Fun

If a guy likes you, you’ll know it because he will be the one to reach out to you by calling and making plans. However difficult it is to be passive initially (especially for career women who have had to fight their way up the ladder), the mating game is all about a chase. Your date needs to know and appreciate your value. Let them do the work.

3. Develop Other Interests

As part of your effort to give priority to your personal growth, and become a more interesting person, I recommend starting two new activities. Being involved with your chosen activities will redirect your focus from becoming obsessed with the thought of finding love and stop you from seeming so needy of someone else’s attention. Really get committed to these activities. It is good practice for being committed to a long-term relationship and a great way to meet others with similar interests. I recommend having a more creative hobby if your profession is intellectual and a more studious one if you are in the arts already.

4. Think Long Term

Think long term: don’t fall for instant gratification. One of your main goals should be to restrict your sexual availability. We often react to a situation because we can only see short-term gratification. Instead, we should make decisions based on long-term objectives. In other words, we’ll sleep with a guy to please him or in hopes he will like us, but this action may put him off instead. Stop giving yourself to guys who don’t deserve you. Respect yourself.

5. Send Off Positive Energy

Give out positive energy by being giving, caring and smiling! The process of giving unconditionally is a necessary step to finding love. It puts you in a frame of mind that is not about fulfilling your personal needs, but about having the other person’s best intention at heart. A healthy relationship has as much giving as taking. To be in an unbalanced relationship of only giving – or only taking – will never bring real love.

If you’re happy, you’ll bring happiness. Your energy level will contribute greatly to the relationship. Learn to love and respect yourself and radiate happiness. Smile, even if you are not feeling particularly happy. Studies show that even forcing yourself to smile can actually boost your feeling of happiness.