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Digital marketing co-ordinator Kelly O’Connor is counting the cost of attending two weddings as chief bridesmaid this year

The average cost of a wedding in the UK is an estimated £20,000, but attending the nuptials of a loved one can also be pricey.

Celebrations are getting bigger, stag and hen parties are becoming more elaborate and the popularty of Facebook means wearing the same outfit twice could be a problem.

Gone are the days of the wedding breakfast in the local church hall; it’s more likely to be a castle in the country, so factoring in hotel and travel costs is essential.

And the popularity of parties abroad means an estimated one in six Brits will attend a stag or hen do in another country this year, according to Confused.com.

Kelly O’Connor, who lives in Oxford, is chief bridesmaid at two weddings this year and will attend a hen party in Manchester and another in Amsterdam. Before taking presents and spending on the night in to consideration, she will have spent £1,100.

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‘I love my friends and I wouldn’t miss their big day for the world, but because everyone has ended up living in different parts of the country, weddings can be expensive,’ said the 24-year-old digital marketing co-ordinator.

‘Hen parties are now a three-day event and often abroad, so it all adds up. And timing can be an issue – it’s best to plan ahead and ideally have a pay day in between the hen party and the wedding.’

Kim Kardashian’s wedding reportedly cost $10m and lasted just 72 days

Some estimates put the cost of merely attending a wedding as a guest as high as £1395 with everything from hair cuts, clothes, presents, and parties factored in.

But Sophie Trinick, founder of free wedding site bride2bride.co.uk, where items used once at a wedding can be sold on for free, said it doesn’t have to cost that much.

She said: ‘You get to that age where is seems all of a sudden everyone is getting married – I once attended five weddings in four weeks all over the country.

‘But the key to making savings as a guest is forward planning. Try to get early deals on transport and hotels; share lifts with family and friends who are also attending and don’t feel like you can’t wear an outfit more than once.

‘If bridesmaids have to buy their own shoes or accessories, they can look online for good deals and always buy neutral colours.

‘As for presents, if you’re creative you could always ask to help the couple with invitations or offer to make their cake, which would save them a huge amount and hopefully save you too.’

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Be my guest… how to save money attending a wedding

1. Plan ahead

Wedding invites generally go out at least four months in advance, sometimes earlier if the even will be held abroad. When you receive the invite, get online immediately and book your train tickets or flight. Sites such as the Trainline offer cheap tickets for early booking and ideally, the bride and groom will have chosen a foreign venue that’s on the route of budget airlines. The same goes for stag and hen parties, if it’s in your hands to book, do it early.

2. Share the cost

If the rest of your family is going to the wedding or your sister is going to the hen party, consider sharing transport to the event instead of each individually booking a train. Driving or hiring a coach can be a much cheaper option.

3. Paydays

Planning ahead also allows you to save. If you know you have three weddings the following year, start putting something away each month to pay for stag and hen parties, the wedding gift and any accomodation costs you may incur. Ditching the morning coffee and muffin could save up to £1,000 a year, so put that in a money box rather than dashing to Starbucks.

4. Accomodation

The bride and groom may be getting married in the nearest castle or stately home, but consider carefully whether you need to stay in the hotel above the venue. Boutique hotels can come in at four or five times as much as some budget options. Search the local area for an independent bed and breakfast, or consider a Travelodge or Premier Inn where prices start at £19. If you’re staying two nights, try a cheaper hotel for one night and the venue hotel on the night of the wedding.

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5. Outfits

During your twenties and thirties particularly, you’re likely to attend lots of weddings, but don’t feel the pressure of having to wear a different dress or suit for every event – or have to hide from Facebook photos in case anyone sees you. Buy something quite simple – women can change the look of a dress with different accessories, hat, or jacket. Men may think renting a suit is cheaper, but if you have a lot of weddings to attend buying a suit could work out cheaper, especially if you plan in advance and hit the sales.

6. Bridesmaids and groomsmen

Sometimes the bride and groom may ask you to buy your own shoes for the big day. Again, planning ahead is key. Sites such as eBay or Bride2Bride have good offers on never-before-worn items or things that have been used just once. Look for something in a neutral colour so they can be worn again. If a pair of shoes cost £60 and you wear them 30 times, that’s just £2 a wear.

7. Use your influence

If you are a bridesmaid or the best man and your friend is discussing a four-day stag or hen bender in Las Vegas, followed by another two days in Liverpool for anyone who couldn’t make it… and then a spa day for the mums, it might be time to gently use your influence. The excitement of a wedding can cause the lovely couple to slightly lose touch with reality, so it’s worth reminding them before anything is booked that not everyone has that kind of cash. Suggest alternatives, such as a trip within Europe, or England, or better still reducing it to just one night as opposed to a four-day event. Obliging your guests to go on lavish dos can cause resentment, or embarrassment if they can’t afford it, and besides – a cheaper stag or hen party means a better present!

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8. Offer your services

Do you have an interesting car or special skill such as basic floristry? If you own a taxi or campervan or have a talent for flower arranging, why not offer your services as a wedding gift? Not only will you feel a part of the wedding, it will save both you and the happy couple cash.

9. The cake

One of the biggest expenses for the bride and groom, the cake can cost anything from £300 to thousands. But if you’re a good amateur baker, why not offer to make the cake instead. It’s likely to save both of you a fortune, and get you a nice mention in the speeches.

10. Make something

If the bride wants candles on each table, offer to save your nephew’s baby food jars; clean them, wrap them in lace and stick candles and beads in the bottom to make beautiful table decorations. Alternatively, get your photoshop skills out and offer to make beautiful invitations. Words in a frame are a lovely gift but cost upwards of £15 in shops. Free online word cloud sites such as Wordle can make beautiful jumbled words in different colours; personalise with their names and date of wedding and put in an Ikea frame for a beautiful gift.