For some reason, some people find the grieving process embarrassing and uncomfortable, thus the tendency for such people is to avoid those who show their pain, or on the other hand, to hide their pain and carry on with life as usual.

At some point in time, we all suffer a loss and we grieve, but because majority of people think of grief as that single instance or short period of time of experiencing pain or sadness in response to a loss, many are literally rushed through the grieving process and encouraged to party away their sorrows so to speak.

What many fail to understand is that grieving is a highly emotional process which differs from person to person and can last a long time. No one can tell another how to grieve because you don’t bear their pain.

For anyone who’s going through loss, there are ways that help to mitigate the situation even when the pain is palpable and seems unending.

Give it time and always allow yourself the quietness and space you need to be alone. Have a meltdown if you need to. Tears help to rid the body of stress hormones.

Accept the way you feel, no matter how you feel and don’t judge yourself for grieving over your loss.

How to offer support to someone recently bereaved and what not to say to them.

Don’t avoid someone who’s been bereaved. It only hurts them further. Sending a brief note, text, email, phone call or other means of contact is a good idea.

Don’t ever compare the loss of someone’s loved one to the loss of a pet.

Don’t tell someone how they’re feeling because their grief is personal and everyone process things differently.

Don’t stop someone crying or telling them not to cry. Though this might be meant to be helpful, it seems as if you are shutting them down and asking the person to bottle up their emotion.

A reassuring, gentle touch to let them know you are there is sufficient. You are not obliged to say something immediately.

Remember that grief lasts long after the delivery of the sad news. Check on the person at regular intervals to know how they are doing.

Following the shocking news, the first few days and even weeks may be hard on the bereaved that daily tasks like cooking and eating become difficult. Sending food and offering to help with mundane admin tasks is helpful. Your friend may need extra support.

Soon after the death, someone needs to sign the death certificate. This usually falls on a close member of the family and it’s a tough task to do alone. If you are in a position to go with the bereaved ensure that they have all the vital information and documentation required because a death certificate cannot be altered.

Attend the funeral if possible. It is comforting to know that there are lots of people to see off a loved one.

Be mindful of saying such things like: “they have gone to a better place,” or “they died at a good age.” There’s never a right age to lose someone you love.

Don’t be afraid to share the minutiae details or funny anecdotes of your day with them. Distracting, normal everyday news of other people’s lives can be comforting.

Don’t let fear hold you back from helping. Be someone’s shoulder and listening ear as they walk through their grief.

The twist of life. An interesting, thought-provoking poem. An old blob of human matter. That’s what his children considered him to be when he got too old to be useful. Hmm!

Return to The Post Office Box – a story reimagined. Interesting and this is what I said. “What an interesting story. I read the first part earlier and this ending really suits it. It’s a fun perspective to look at a thought-provoking story of a woman who’s enduring domestic violence.”

Celia bawled her eyes out and snot dripped down her nose . She’s never been one to sob softly into a handkerchief.

She had known that the end was close, but the news still hurt badly and tears swam in her eyes as she read the letter.

“Dear Celia, thank you for these years of love and care. For bringing warmth to the heart of an old lady. I’ve come to see you as the daughter I never had and would like to bequeath these items to you. Please accept them with all my love.” Celia Oldham.

As usual, she had come for her visit at the hospice where she spent time keeping the old folks’ company; listening to their stories, reading to them and sneaking in an occasional toffee.

Over time the deceased became her favourite. Mrs. Oldham took to her when she learnt that they shared the same name and looked forward to the visits. She always took the pains to dress nicely in a frock, cardigan, pearl set and a gemstone ring that she wore on her third finger. Mrs. Oldham had no surviving family. Her sweetheart died during the war and she never remarried.

Inside the little box was a battered, old diary, the pearl set, the ring, a purple scarf, a bank draft for $200,000 raised in her name and the last book they had been reading – Jane Eyre.

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A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.