Blog

4 Tips For Dealing With Toxic People

Toxic people are unfortunately abundant in life. As an online divorce review site, we’ve seen them ruin their marriages, ruin other peoples’ marriages, and get in the way of divorcees on the road to recovery. If you encounter a toxic person, the best thing to do is to shut them out altogether. It’s not your job to change them, and more often than not, they’ll simply take them down with you. But it’s not always possible to avoid, and so when you encounter one that you can’t get away from — particularly after the divorce is final — here are some tips for handling them.

1. Be On Guard.

One way for not getting sucked in to the web of toxicity is to anticipate a toxic person before they have the chance to act. If you can be more observant of the way people carry themselves, communicate with others, and react when things don’t go their way, then you can temper the level of involvement that you have with that person. For example, if there is someone at work who always seems to be talking about others in the break room, then you may want to avoid a one-on-one with them, or avoid sitting down with their group of “regulars.” This way, you can smile politely, say hi, and keep tensions non-existent without letting them suck you into their inner circle.

2. Have A Line That You Don’t Allow Them To Cross.

If you do get caught up in a conversation with a toxic person, be frank with them and say something that calls their attention to the fact that you won’t play their game. You can do it without being combative, though it’s probable that no amount of niceness will keep their feelings from being hurt. Still, it’s not your job to make them feel better about themselves. Think about saying something like, “Sorry, but I don’t like to say anything about someone I wouldn’t say to their face,” or if you’re not comfortable with that, just lie and say that you have to be somewhere else any time they start up.

3. Do Not Let Them Make You Feel Guilty.

If your whole relationship with someone is based on their ability to shower you with negativity, then do NOT let them make you feel guilty for backing out of that relationship. What’s more, back out of the relationship in the way that feels the most comfortable for you — letter, email, text message, in-person. This is your mental health at stake, and it shouldn’t be jeopardized by a code of etiquette that they determine.

4. Don’t Feel You Have To Justify Yourself.

If you don’t want to be around a toxic person, then there is no justification needed. Just back away whenever you can, and if you have to confront, do so. But if they try to goad you into explaining yourself, don’t do it. That’s their game, and you shouldn’t have to play it. Plus, the more you engage toxic people, the more they will bring you into their web.

What are some things that you have done to shut toxic people out of your life? Sound off in the comments section.