ONE way to get V.I.P. treatment at a restaurant is to become a regular known for the big tips you leave. But it’s not the only way.

To get service with a smile, try giving a smile.

Every time a certain patron enters the Village restaurant where she works, Maria the hostess has the same reaction: “My skin crawls.” It’s his attitude, she says. He expects to be waited on before all the other customers. On the other hand, she promises if she’s treated nicely, “I’ll do anything for you. It’s not the tips.”

Negative vibes can so spook waiters that they don’t want to return to certain tables, says Paul Michaels, captain at the Tonic on 18th Street.

The first step to a positive dining experience is making contact because, as he puts it, “the people serving you are human beings also.” If the waiter begins with “How are you tonight?” answer “Fine, thank you. How are you?”

It might not seem like much, he says, but lots of people just bark out their drink order. “All of a sudden you’re off on the wrong track because you’ve dismissed this person at your table as just a vending machine,” he says.

If you’re unhappy with your entrée when it arrives, there’s a way to relate that. Simply say you prefer your fish a little more or less done. If you just don’t like how it tastes and you’re asked if they can bring you something else, by all means order again. That gives the restaurant a chance to make it up to you and at least break even with a sale. You both win.

Common problems for most restaurants are coats and shopping bags. It’s good form to take the staff’s cue and let them stash your bags and overcoat in the checkroom. It’s not to wheedle a couple of bucks out of you, but to keep the bulky items from getting underfoot.

To hail a waiter, “snapping your fingers is not the way,” says Scott Stamford, manager of Brooklyn’s River Cafe. Making eye contact with the person closest to you is preferred, be it a bus boy or your waiter. A gracefully raised hand is also acceptable.

And to snag a table when a restaurant is booked, some people will respond to money, but not everyone will. Michaels suggests saying as nicely as you can that you’re willing to wait at the bar, and asking if that’s worth your while.

Lastly, if you have a complaint, make sure you tell the maitre d’ or manager. It gives them a chance to rectify it. Most people don’t. And, says Michaels, “We appreciate negative feedback more than you know.”