Sticking it to Proteau

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Sticking it to Proteau

With the holiday season fast approaching, I thought I’d get you in the festive mood with some touching feedback I’ve received from my most recent Screen Shots column.

Prepare your heart for a solid warming, and get a load of the inaugural “Ask Adam Why He Sucks” edition of the mailbag: (Please note – I’ve been gracious enough to edit questions for brevity, profanity and a generally appalling lack of attention to spelling and grammar.)

Adam,

If you don't enjoy the physical aspect of the game, why don't you go watch women's hockey or figure skating, (rather) than sully yourself and your credibility as a "journalist" by forming and spreading foolish, uninformed opinions?

I suppose there is a reason you are an Internet columnist and not a real writer.

Jason Blondheim, Coquitlam, B.C.

Jason,

Thanks for getting the standard-issue “women’s hockey” and “figure skating” references out of the way early. If you’d only questioned my sexuality, you’d have hit the Neanderthal cliché trifecta.

I’ve never said I don’t enjoy the physical aspect of the game; what I have said is I don’t enjoy a game that permits its players to act as judge, jury and executioner when it comes to on-ice actions. There’s a big difference between the two.

As for your last point: One day, I hope to have my work published somewhere other than the Internet, and rise to the position of “real writer.”

(Wait a second – I also have a column in each edition of The Hockey News, don’t I? Take that, Internet non-writers!)
Adam,

I think your comment about the NHL and Players’ Association getting sued over not mandating visors is ridiculous. Hockey is no more violent than any other sport.

As a Canadian hockey lover, I get tired of hearing the knock on hockey, when baseball has balls being thrown at heads and players can freely leave the bench for a brawl. Football has players purposely going after knees, heads etc…

Sure, other pro leagues have had their fair share of shameful episodes, but only the NHL allows players to fight and/or injure opponents and remain in the same game to continue playing. And I have yet to encounter a rational argument that excuses such institutionalized thuggery. Including, unfortunately, yours.

Adam,

More of a comment: You reporters should lay off the talk that Todd Bertuzzi was told to go after Steve Moore. Who cares if his coach told everyone that Moore has to “pay the price?” That has been going on since hockey began.

Obviously you never played hockey at any level. It's too bad that all you guys care about is selling papers instead of telling your opinion, and stating some fact and making it sound like there was a death warrant placed. But if it bleeds, it leads.

Brent Brandon, Barrie, Ont.

Brent,

I think 99 percent of unreasonable people understand why it’s obvious that, simply because I don’t agree with you and the accepted wisdom of the hockey establishment, I’ve never played the game at any level.

(Wait a second…I played organized hockey for nearly a decade. Take that, non-hockey players!)

Seriously, though, here’s my idea on how you make a player “pay the price” for underhanded actions against you or one of your teammates in the future: Help your team beat his team by scoring more goals than they do, and leave the supplemental discipline up to the league.

It’s an unconventional theory, I know, but the more teams try it, the more it just may catch on.

Adam,

It's about time someone called it right. We need more people like you to call a spade a spade. Congratulations, Adam, you’re right on the money – the game of sports has come to money, not brains. All sports need to take a hard look at the real problem – management. If they did their jobs and properly managed the league, this problem would never be.

And I truly hope Steve Moore gets everything he is asking for and that he won’t be screwed by the laws or courts.

Jean-Guy Gauthier, Kitchener, Ont.

Hey, how did this kind note from a savvy individual make it in here?

Adam,

Wouldn't you agree the real reason behind lawyers salivating in the wings of our arenas is money? These ambulance chasers just want to create themselves a new niche market, and now that the cash is there, they're motivated.

How old are you anyway? You sound 12. Ever heard of Ted Green or Wayne Maki? Don't tell me they were friendlier to one another in the old days, you dork. I'm sick of hearing your negative drivel. Guys like you are what's wrong with pro sports everywhere. Too much controversy and not enough pride.

Try talking about what's right every once in awhile instead of dwelling on negative scenarios. Tell me what Crosby or Ovechkin or Luongo did last night. Stick to what used to make kids buy hockey cards…you probably thought it was the gum, or worse yet, the potential future value of a rookie card.

Do you even know what a clothespin looks like, or a bicycle for that matter? You should go watch a Timbits game between periods of a Junior-A game before you ever write another word for a publication.

Don Bowman, Vernon, B.C.

Don,

Interesting vitriol technique you’ve got there – start off with an innocent inquiry, then slowly descend into foaming-at-the-mouth territory.

To answer that first question: There’s no doubt money is the root of most evils. Why do you think NHL goons put their faces and fists through so much – because they actually enjoy it? Maybe a couple ones with loose screws do, but I’ve spoken with many an enforcer over the years that felt sick to their stomachs every time they knew they’d be fighting.

You’re not alone in believing hockey writers should only be writing “positive” stories about the game. Indeed, there are lots of people like you in every part of the journalism business; those people believe that, for example, when a reporter covers a multi-alarm fire, his or her story the next morning should center around exciting new real estate opportunities.

Sorry, Don, but that ain’t me. Ever heard of the canary-in-a-coal-mine analogy? That’s how I think reporters and columnists should operate.

But I agree with you (I think) – reporters should definitely know what a clothespin and bicycle are. Luckily, I majored in Simple Item Identification at the University of Bleeding Heart Lefty Pinkos, so I’m already up to speed.

Ask Adam appears Tuesdays and Fridays only on The Hockey News.com. To send us your question or comment, click HERE.