Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials really stand for “What would Jesus drive?”

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.”

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord.”

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring, “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.”

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.” And, following the Master’s lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord.”

Dodge is one of the oldest car companies, selling the Triumph, Avenger, Colt, and Charger in Biblical times.

2Sam 1:20 ” Tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Askelon; lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised Triumph.”

Of course, in modern times, circumcision is no longer performed on automobiles.

They were popular gifts.

Mark 6:28 “And brought his head in a Charger, and gave it to the damsel: and the damsel gave it to her mother.”

The Dodge Ram was greatly admired, and frequently customized with aftermarket accessories such as custom leather seats and extra horns of different pitch.

Dan 8:3 “Then I lifted up mine eyes, and saw, and, behold, there stood before the river a Ram which had two horns: and the two horns were high; but one was higher than the other, and the higher came up last.”

Collisions, however, were frequent.

Dan 8:6 “And he came to the Ram that had two horns, which I had there seen standing before the river, and ran unto him in the Fury of his power.”

Here we see one of the earliest documented cases of road rage.

Dan 8:7 “And I saw him come close unto the Ram, and he was moved with choler against him, and smote the Ram, and broke his two horns: and there was no power in the Ram to stand before him, but he cast him down to the ground, and stamped upon him: and there was none that could deliver the Ram out of his hand. “