As I’m sitting and writing this, Oppikoppi fever is high at the VIXXEN
HQ. I have my trusty right hand, Christelle Duvenage sitting next to me,
and my equally trust other right hand,
Gen Twoco on the phone, cheering
us on. Many of you might know that
Christelle and Gen are now assistant
editors and are deeply involved in the
process of the magazine. We made a
pact a while back that this was going
to be something we are going to do
full time, putting all our love in.
This month marks a new chapter of
my personal life. I gave up an amazing
job to do this magazine full time, dedicating myself entirely to something
that has become my full being, and at
the risk of sounding corny, my calling.
Am I scared? You bet. Am I excited?
With a team like this, how could I NOT
be? I really cannot say enough how
amazing each and every VIXXEN girl is
(plus our kick-ass contributors, some
once of, some regular), and I wake up

4 AUGUST 2010

amped on work every day. I am truly
living my dream, and although to
some people leaving an amazing job
would sound crazy for a non-profit
magazine, to me, it’s a natural progression.
This month’s cover girl is someone I
personally really look up to. Sonja is a
fire engine and is truly inspiring.
I also decided to get inked by my
friend Ryan Buster Bolton, and will
show you guys the end result when
we are done with all the pain, in time
for the next issue.
Clair Cantrell, who has been in the
music industry for longer than she
cares to admit, has started Part 1 of
her feature in Punk In Africa, and we
have Tamara Sun back with more of
Kitty Kat’s beauty and fashion tips.
Gen orchestrated an AMAZING
shoot for local Gods, Submachine,
and that was a day to remember. One
of our honorary VIXXENs, Abel Scholtz
made sure he captured the bands

energy down to a T. The end result is
one of our best features to date!
As we launch this issue, we are
packing for Oppikoppi, for which
we were lucky enough to get press
passes, in order to cover this fest for
you. So, once again Tina Terminator,
Sticky Stella and Cleoblackeye will
be bringing you all the action from
the weekend. This time, however,
we are traveling with another amazing VIXXEN, Olivia Mortimer, who is
armed with her camera in order to
take some sick sick photos.
In conclusion, we here at VIXXEN
would like to dedicate this issue to
Leigh Roomes, who I unfortunately
never got the pleasure of getting to
know. But I know for a fact that he will
be deeply missed by all who knew
and loved him.
Stay gold, Leigh.

Born and bred in Johannesburg,
Che unfortuantely did not come
with an instruction manual when
she arrived, so her parents really
winged it with raising her. She
was taught how to be a ninja so
she has a black belt in Party-Karate, and is a make-up artist and
part-time model . Oh, and she
also loves pie. Che did our beauty section.

Jacqui is one kick-ass photographer! She is always out and
about shooting bands and is the
staff photographer for The Death
Valley Blues Band. She kindly
let her use her pictures of The
Golden Tiki.

Camilla Rose is a philosopher by
day, a rock ‘n roller by night, and
an anarchist punk at heart. She
also plays bass for The Death
Valley Blues Band, and wrote the
opinion piece this month, and
shot the bands at the Cortina
Whiplash album launch.

Cameron enjoys cool shit, and
takes photos of said cool stuffs. He
spends his time drifting between
the city and the good ol’ outdoors,
and occasionally ventures into the
deep South for inspiration in preparation for exhibitions. He drinks
whiskey, if you’re buying. Cameron
reviewd The Mochines for us. To see
more of Cameron go to
www.cameronrichards.com

6 AUGUST 2010

The man of cult myth once
dj’ed on a beach in Thailand on new years eve to 10
people and then got rained
upon...but that won’t phase a
cult hero still walking on two
legs tall with favourite foods
like mushrooms, chicken and
Avocadoes and a friendly
attitude of “Ask and ye shall get an answer (not
sure if it will be to your liking)”. Well Destrukto
Radio man and blogger of notes = “Close eyes and
dance dance dance to the radio......”. did he write
this or did he quote this “There is no try there’s
only do”. Greg wrote our piece on Miss Yucki.
http://radiodeconstruction.blogspot.com/

With a BA degree in film studies and media & writing for
the University of Cape Town,
Jerusha writes and models
in her free time. She works
at Exclusive Books as a book
slave, but this is just to pay
the bills. Her true passion is
creating! Jerusha interviewed
our cover girl.

This little firecracker is multitalanted - she owns KITTY KAT
MAKEUP & STYLING and is the
brand manager for EMILY THE
STRANGE in SA. She has previous experience on shoots for
magazines and film and she
is tiny! Tamara orchestrated
our Miss Happ shoot, being
involved in every aspect (that’s
why it looks so good!). She also wrote a special
column, Kitty Kat’s Tips.
www.suicidegirls.com/girls/ LaTara

Dave is a very opinionated
copywriter, who got himself a
job at a very prestigeous company (that shall remain nameless). Dave loves beer. And punk
rock. And not much else. Dave
now has his own VIXXEN column, The Comings and Goings of
the Asshole Your Mother Told You About.
http://assholeyourmothertoldyouabout.blogspot.
com/

Clair has been in the sespit of the music business
for longer than she cares to
admit.
But she loves it. For her, music
is a calling and a passion.
She helps run an independent record label, rants for
magazines, and is, by her own
admission, a general media
whore. Clair wrote Punk In
Afrika, and The Female Headshaving Association.

Abel is a genius with live bands,
and with, erm, drinking. He
loves all kinds of music and can
be spotted at gigs with a camera in hand. He recently got a
fish-eye lens and is rocking the
photo taking. He likes martial
arts, anime and OPPIKOPPI. He
also has a bit of an obsession
with DIE ANTWOORD. Abel shot the amazing pictures for our feature on Submachine.

Dr-Benway uses photography and image manipulation
to evoke fantasies varying
from glamour, pin-up to horror. Not rooted to a specific
style, he is constantly broadening his horizons. Over the
past few years he has included film directing to his
broadening palette of skills,
partnering with talented director Ronnie Belcher
to produce award-winning independent art films
such as KiTTY KiLL and Emma-Ă&#x2022;, under the
auspices of Black Milk Productions. Dr-Benway
shot our cover and Sonjaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feature this month.

Dylan Ellis is an extremely passionate
producer, recording and Mixing
engineer based in
both Johannesburg,
South Africa and
Media City, Dubai.
He has been in the
Music Industry for
just over a decade now. He has worked
with over 100 bands and artists and in the last few
years has produced, engineered and mixed numerous number 1 and top 10 hit singles on almost
every radio station in South Africa, and has won
awards for his song writing. Dylan co-wrote the
Submachine article.

Every now and then Joe Doe wanders through
a door into the real
world, where she
tends to keep normality at bay with a
magical paintbrush, a
soul-catching camera
and sometimes even
just a humble pencil.
She tends to find the
exit very quickly. Joe shot the Submachine & The
Otherwise gig.

AUGUST 2010

7

As profitless punks a bunch
of muscicians and organisers have decided that it is in
everyones best interests that
they start throwing parties and
shows that could somehow,
reignite and revisit the Glory
Days of Jozi City Punk.
All the bands have a agreed
to jam for free to hit the cause,
and pretty much do their bit to
get the rehab of our scene into
motion.
Cover is only 10 bucks, which
is a bargain for this kind of
lineup, in order to try cover
sound and any other profits on
top are going toward free fucking beer!!!
Mark Misconduct will be
running his oh-so-noteworthy
‘Drunk Punk Olympics’ where
everyone will be encouraged
to get their asses into the
comp and just get drinking in
whatever activities he comes
up with this time...

The Line Up is as follows:

Bloemfontein’s sickest alternative youth
festival is back in 2010 for round three.
(OB)scenefest or The Bloemfontein Scene
Fest 2010 will be bigger and better than
the previous years with a line up to blow
your hair back.
(OB)scenefest 2010 will be held over
two days on the 24th and 25 of September
2010.
As usual tickets will be lank cheap and
free camping will be included.
... A sweet new venue is being rigged
and will offer safe parking, ample green
grass for camping and more.
So mark your calenders for the 24th and
25th of September 2010 for a banging
time.

Following on from the
epic success of the last
Once Again party, Chris and
Evan give you, out of the
kindness of their hearts,
something to cheer you on
a weekend when others are
at Oppi..
Presenting Shots Fired and
Pistol Whip 45 at Johannesburg’s most beautiful
venue, CCHQ.
R30 will see you in.
DO IT!

MAY
- JUNE
AUGUST
JULY
2010
2010
2
2010 7

2

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

WORDS BY GEN TWOCO

This Bootleg Album confirms that
the realms of the “Blues Brothers”
does in fact exist as do their clergy.
Ever put in that disc without a cover
and think what on earth did I just
spend my R50 on? Well ‘bang bang bang baby’ and then some.
This is the kind of music that makes you want to not only sing
along but act out the lyrics at throttle so “START YOUR ENGINES”
and if you lucky enough to get your hand on this rare bootleg
that is well produced with an exceptional sound and 8 tracks
that you just can’t break away from. Well all I can add to that
other than five stars is DVBB deserves a round of tequila’s and
applause
for shaking our tail feathers.

Initially meant to be part of their
previous record, Invasion USA, these
tunes stood out on their own and so
were made into Tarantula. The album
carries on with the great Foster/Schafer songwriting team,
which has brought them so much fan appreciation in the past.
Fun, easy listening.

Mad Sin return with their 13th album,
which showcases the band’s diverse
talents and proves they are more than
“just” a rockabilly act. A feast for your
ears, and one that will speak to more than just their diehard
fanbase.

10 AUGUST 2010

Combining elements of punk, ska,
reggae, country and even jazz, the
Mad Caddies’ music is a feast of genres.
With 6 studio albums and 1 live record
already to their credit the Mad Caddies realized it was high time
to compile a list of favorites, which is exactly what they did with
Consentual Selections. As a band strongly connected with their
audience, they opted to let their fans choose which track to
put on this album. weigh in on which tracks should appear on
this collection by actually voting for their favorites. Not only is
Consentual Selections a collection of 22 awesome hit songs, it
also features 2 brand new tracks to boot. Essential listening for
the diehards and new fans alike.

Matt Skiba, lead singer for the Alkaline
Trio delivers us a brand new solo
release. All these songs were recorded
over the course of 2009 in either
Chicago or at Lohner Castle in Los Angeles (Skiba’s apartments)
Everything was recorded by Matt Skiba using Garageband on
an Mbox Mini. A very interesting offering by an amazing musician.

Good Riddance have been together for
over 16 years, and this is a collection
of all a bunch of hit songs as well as six
previously unreleased tracks. Not only
does Capricorn One bring together a comprehensive assemblage of every Good Riddance single, rarity, and unreleased
track for the first time, it also features a commentary about
each song written by lead singer Russ Rankin. A must have for
the legions of Good Riddance fans, Capricorn One completes
the band’s catalog and boasts a track list that will position it
among their most acclaimed albums.

AUGUST
JULY
2010
2010
2

2

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

In this local thriller, Rex Dobson and
Alice Edmonds find themselves stranded
alongside the R106, a freeway just
outside Johannesburg. Waiting for help,
they are abducted by a masked madman who does unthinkable things to
them. Both survive, but wish they hadn’t.
As their stories unfold, it is clear that the
truth of what happened that fateful day
is far worse than anyone could imagine.
Detective James Hirsch is on the case,
and he throws the two into separate interrogation cells, while Hirsch
questions them relentlessly. As Hirsch tries to figure out the events
of what happened that day, different truths emerge. Definitely worth
watching – props to the people behind this awesome local production.

2 AUGUST
10
JULY 2010
2010

The grotesque thriller introduces
us to two characters, known only as
She and He, whose lives are shattered when their toddler falls to his
death from their apartment window
due to their insufficient supervision
of him. As they try to come to terms
with their child’s death, they retreat
to their cabin in the. At first all
seems to go well and their sadness
begins to heal. However, She soon begins behaving irrationally
and the situation takes a turn for the worst. As she falls deeper
into insanity, she carries out gruesome acts of destruction
against herself and against He. This one is not for horror buffs
who have seen it all before, as it follows a mould, but a must see
for non-die-hard fans of the genre.

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

In a practical guide for young women
who are ready to abandon their cubicles
and carve out their own dreams, Goodman offers tools and tips for joining the DIY career club. . From
“sussing out the gigs” to guidance on taxes and health insurance
to battling “the inertia that binds one’s derriere to the sofa like a
tongue to a frozen flagpole,” Goodman covers all the aspects of
going solo. A must for anyone looking to make their way into the
world of freelancing and unconventional work rules.

The long-awaited autobiography of the
guitarist, songwriter, singer, and founding
member of the Rolling Stones. Undeniably, a true rock star, Keith has lived the
dream for decades. Now, at last, the man
himself tells his story of life, from listening
to Chuck Berry and Muddy Waters records,
learning guitar and forming a band with
Mick Jagger and Brian Jones. The book
chronicles all notable events in his life - his relationship with Anita
Pallenberg, the death of Brian Jones, tax exile in France, crazy
tours of the U.S., isolation and addiction.
With his trademark disarming honesty, Keith Richard brings us the
story of a life we have all longed to know more of, unapologetic,
fearless, and true.

This book delivers and overview of the
best artists in this subculture, including work from California, the Midwest,
the East Coast, Mexico, Japan, the UK,
Germany, Scandinavia, France, and
Germany Author Julian Balme is a writer and art director for numerous Kustom Kulture magazines, creator of the famous London
Calling cover for The Clash, a passionate racer of hot rods, and one
of the foremost commentators on Kustom Kulture and Kustom
Graphics. So who better to guide you through pages and pages
of the kustom subculture’s art. Abolute eye candy that will inspire
you for weeks.

Parker, a veteran punk-rocker who lived
briefly with Sid’s mother, is intimately
acquainted with the musical and cultural
scene that Sid Vicious dominated during
his short life. This account fills in the gaps of
John Simon Ritchie’s life, from his art-school
days to the death of girlfriend Nancy Spungeon to his drug overdose at 21. Follow
the account of his short life and tragic fall, in Parker’s brilliant, humourous, yet sad voice. Includes a foreword by Malcolm McLaren
himself, as well as interviews with Sid’s mother and others close to
the tragic star.

AUGUST 2010

13

2 AUGUST 2010

AUGUST 2010

2

2 AUGUST
14
JULY 2010
2010

AUGUST
JULY
2010
2010
2

2

18 AUGUST 2010

AUGUST 2010

19

WORDS BY DAVE SAN PAULO

Good morning, good day, good afternoon
and good evening bastard children of The
Man. I greet you in the written word on this
most auspicious of occasions, to vent about
the piss poor form of print consumables
entering homes all over the world. My hope
is to help a few million fellow humans to
seize failing at life. The quality of content
they publish in most magazines these days
is definitely worth less than the farmed evergreen trees (remember those things that
give us oxygen so we can breathe and fuck
up things even more? Well, them) they cut
down, pulp and turn into paper.
And yes, I know, given the nature of the
publications, they are intended to cater to
the masses because, funnily enough, everyone prefers more money to less money. This
is obviously something we can all appreciate but in this circumstance something I
cannot abide by. This is not Sparta. This is
ridiculous.
Go to the café or quick shop where you
buy your heavily taxed cigarettes and
have a look at the covers of these ‘popular’
magazines that infiltrate your loving home
better than ninja pedophiles with the
budget and know how of the U.S. military.
This corner stop literature will be flooded
with headlines like “10 new ways to roll her
eyes back and send her to the moon” and “5
ways to take charge and blow his mind”. I’m
not completely disputing this sort of advice,
especially the first time it is given, but
perhaps I shall dispute this kind of advice
the 87694th time it’s given. Every month,
they rewrite the headline, recycle the article
and publish it again. People of earth, if you
don’t know you to please your woman or
man after reading the same article over and
over and over, I would say that it’s time to
give up because if you need to consult a
construction manual every month, let’s just

20 AUGUST 2010

say Hotrod MacDaddywagon isn’t the name
printed on your driver’s license. And I do
apologize for revealing this shocking truth,
but genitalia don’t come with a leaflet from
the parent company, just in case you have
been worried because you couldn’t find
yours.
It’s not just the intimacy articles that grate
my nipples. It seems that, prior to the age
of repetition; everyone in the print industry met at someone’s house, smoked the
worst weed in the world and worked on the
first issue. After this, unless my world-class
deductions are incorrect, they went their
separate ways and continued to regurgitate
this vile vomit in different, but not so many,
words. It seems that global thesaurus has
never been fist fucked so hard in human history. In fact, I submit to you to today that the
thesaurus was created for the sole purpose
of satisfying the little midget ginger bicthlet
that is the commercial print industry. Then,
along came some smart mother fucker with
the exceptional idea, which was and still is
a popular one, to throw some fecal matter
into the giant pond of money. And the reaction, you ask?
“Look, everybody! There’s some shit! Let’s
buy some and eat it up!”
Another common theme in these rags we
worship is weight loss. “Wow, Mandy! You
look stunning! How did you lose so much
weight?”
The reply should naturally be, and I quote
the acclaimed writer of Shit My Dad Says:
“How the fuck do you think I lost weight? I
exercised and didn’t eat shit.” Revolutionary
advice, indeed. And again, this article has
been written and rewritten since people
discovered animals were made of meat.
All kinds of weight loss untruths from this
recovering bulimic movie star and that
methamphetamine addicted musician. Ob-

viously, if they were to endorse to the world
the real ways they lost weight, there would
need to be a global intervention. Picture it.
Step one, construct a high protein and low
carbohydrate diet. “Step two, throw up what
you just ate. Step three, grip a light bulb,
throw in some crystal and crank that butane
lighter on high. Enjoy being gorgeous.”
Every diet has its pros and cons. Using
this one, while making you thin in weeks,
may leave you with very little teeth enamel,
broken wrists from over-zealous high fives
and tearing your skin off your own face.
Jesus wept for the world, and not knowing
how to console the big man, I offered him a
Kleenex, alas I did not have enough. He used
the centre spread of Cosmo.
It has been scientifically proven that the
world is becoming less and less intelligent.
The popular school of thought on this is
based on cretins fornicating with each other
and producing offspring that bears the
same genes. While this is probably true , I
would like to say that by filling your mind
with the garbage these tabloids spew out is
not helping.
So, let’s recap.
Here’s a medium, that has become the
more popular than books, created and sustained by a collective of like-minded morons
that tell you exactly what you know already
about eating, losing weight, intimacy and
much more of the same.
Don’t be a dumb shit.
Boycott magazines.
If you must read, read something respectable and if you cant do that I’m sure you can
find some form of decent literature on the
Internet ;)
FOLLOW DAVE’S BLOG:
http://assholeyourmothertoldyouabout.
blogspot.com/

AUGUST
JULY
2010
2010
2

2

WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLEO BLACK

22 AUGUST 2010

AUGUST 2010

23

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK | PHOTOGRAPHY BY CAMILLA ROSE

24 AUGUST 2010

First to grace the stage with their gorgeous young presences were the Stella’s...
four boys with boots, wideneck shirts and
bad ideas. With the youngest in the band
being 17, and the oldest being 20, The Stellas are anything but easily intimidated; aside
from the fact that girls behave like Elvis is on
stage when the bassist puts his foot up on
the monitor and makes that face, these kids
are seriously talented and undoubtedly hold
their own (and then some) when sharing a
stage with far more experienced musicians.
Keep an eye on this lot...
A few vodkas later it was time for a
group... nay, a gathering of some of the
country’s best (and most insane) musicians;
The Death Valley Blues Band. Without a
doubt one of my very favourite local bands,
the cats and kittens of Death Valley once
again blew everybody’s brains out with
their particular brand of bluesy, rockabillyish, dirty and undeniably sexy rock. To
look at vocalist and guitarist Kevin S. Flee,
you would likely think to yourself, “What
a loon...” and you wouldn’t be far off base.
But, as history shows us, people at the top
of their fields of expertise are usually a tad
cooked. Kevin and the Death Valley Blues
Band are no exception... but the slight hint
of madness in every chord and lyric makes
everything so much more fun.
Cortina Whiplash aren’t a band I’ve paidextremely close attention to in the past,
to be honest... for no other reason except

that I just haven’t made it to a lot of their
shows. Female bands aren’t my bag, in
general... but let me tell you in no uncertain terms that my mind was made up in
favour of the extremely ballsy gals at this
gig. Cortina Whiplash tend more towards
a classic sound than any of the bands that
played that evening, setting them apart
from the first song. As I said, girls in bands
aren’t usually my thing... unfortunately
for the entire female gender, most female
musicians aren’t up to scratch. I say that
as a female musician, and a seriously
picky music listener. The Cortina ladies
however, are three of the rare exceptions to the rule: as well as being skilled
in guitar, drums and bass and having
some swell pipes to boot, they’re great to
watch and easy on the eyes. If their performance at the launch is anything to go
by, then Queen Hyena is an album that
you all want to lay your hands on ASAP.
Last, but by no means least, were
the undisputed rock n roll kings of the
greater JHB area, The Slashdogs. At any
Slashdogs gig not only do you get to
get sweaty, more than likely punched or
kicked somewhere where the bruises last
for weeks and listen to some sweet tunes,
but you have a reason to stare at frontman
and lead vocalist Ryan... who is well worth
staring at. As always, The Slashdogs banged
out tune after tune of raw musical experience, and kept the crowd begging for more.

All in all, Cortina Whiplash put together
a sexy as hell rock n roll show. Congrats to
the girls on a well organised and seriously
enjoyable night, and thanks for giving us an
excuse to get our drink on once again. Not
that we need an excuse…

AUGUST 2010

2

WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY CAMERON RICHARDS

In between touring Europe and such, the
Mochines, the Cape Town based band, provided a night for remembering all the things
that we love about good ‘ol rock’n’roll: loud,
fast, unassuming, pure musical talent mixed
up with a show that got everyone to forget
about their day’s, most probably, dreary
problems.
The performance aspect of it all was
something to take in, these boys sure know
how to throw a party, and how to drink with
the crowd after a show, reinforcing their roots
of what it means to be in a rock band, which
most bands in the scene today have lost,
along with the sensation of their feet due to
far too tight jeans.
Lead guitarist and vocalist Ross Kersten,

26 AUGUST 2010

heads up the show with vocals that pour out
passion for his music, like the sound of a V8
American muscle car classic: all power and
little regard for the next day. The band puts
out a sound that can only be recognised as
pure. Straight to the point, no arsing about
musical talent, that reminded everyone who
was there, what live music is supposed to be
about, blood sweat and rock n roll.
Being a ‘newbie’ to The Mochines-having
only heard their recorded material, I had not
known what to expect from the guys. But
after seeing a group of musicians do what
they do best, kicking ass and taking names,
I walked away from the show a definite follower, and inspired to get my hands on as
much of their material as possible.

gig review

AUGUST 2010

2

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK & TINA KOULISHEVA | PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOE DOE

Greg, Harry, London and Chris are
4 kids who know a little something
about the boogie. VIXXEN is hardly
a stranger to the groovy sounds of
The Otherwise, so it was no surprise
that when they eventually got back
here to launch their cd, we were
first in line to get into the show.
Tanz Cafe, The Bohemian, CCHQ and
Cool Runnings Victory Park were
the venues of choice for the alcohol
abuse, tree climbing, all night dancing and general insanity that follows
the band wherever they go. Joburgers are usually more than equal to
any challenges that a Durbanite can
present...this time round though,

28 AUGUST 2010

Jozi made rather a poor showing of
themselves for the first two nights
of the tour. There was, of course,
the above referred to drunken tree
climbing incident, but aside from
that, Tanz Cafe and the Bohemian
(with fellow Durban band Kissed By
Katie and JHB locals The One Night
Stands) were relatively quiet shows.
Thursday night at CCHQ in Primrose
(With Kissed by Katie), however,
was rather sexy if I do say so myself.
Greg’s indie-ish vocals and Harry’s
mad shredding skills got the whole
club up and shimmying to The
Otherwise’s 5fm hit, and cd title
track “She Doesn’t Care, She Wants

to Dance”. Let’s not forget bassist,
and one of my all time favourite
midgets, London, and the man with
the tasty beats, drummer Chris, who
played like their lives (or at least
their petrol money) depended on it.
The Next day, with everyone slightly
worse for wear, was the Muso’s
show, followed on Saturday by the
bands last JHB appearance for the
tour, Cool Runnings Victory park,
with voodoo Gods, Submachine.
Submachine are a band not easily
overpowered – their tunes are slick
and their performance is out of this
world. On this particular night, they
incorporated sexy dancers into their

set, that made me wish I had taken
belly dancing lessons. They decorated
the stage with their own camo net, and
came complete with their mascot, the
Voodoo Man. I think it’s fair to say that
this was Submachine’s best gig to date.
So, as The Otherwise took to the
stage, I was a little worried if they could
outdo what Submachine had going on
just minutes before. It would be totally
unfair to compare the two bands, as
they are both very different and equally
good, but The Otherwise stood their
ground and delivered an out of this
world performance, that got everyone
shaking their ass to the tunes!
Nobody knows why, but The Otherwise still haven’t had enough of JHB.
Keep an eye out for them during the
rest of the year... because JHB DEFINITLY hasn’t had enough of The Otherwise
either.

AUGUST 2010

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30 AUGUST 2010

WORDS BY GEN TWOCO & DYLAN ELLIS | PHOTOGRAPHY BY ABEL SCHOLTZ

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MissYucki is Alba Poretti and Kathleen Cameron. Their work straddles
an assorted range of artistic output
including illustration, accessory and
character design.
Alba and Kat met while studying Fine
Arts at the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg in 1999. With
a shared love of design and all things
sparkly, cute and yucki they began
working together in 2004 on the Miss
Yucki project.
Using Johannesburg as their inspiration and launch pad they have embarked on numerous intercontinental
adventures and have shown their work
in South Africa, Mozambique, the USA,
France, Japan, Barcelona and beyond.
Kat is currently living in Barcelona,
studying Spanish and working as a
freelance illustrator. She has worked for
the Barcelona Metropolitan Magazine
and has been represented by the London based creative agency Advocate
Art. Kat has illustrated several children’s
books and her work is often
published.
Alba completed a degree in Fashion
studies from Parsons the New School
for Design in New York in 2009 and
currently lives in San Francisco. Alba
has worked as a freelance print - textile
designer and works full time as an
apparel and accessory illustrator and
game artist for the leading social gaming company, Zynga.
MissYucki is a creative cute and
creepy Pageant Power girl created by
Alba and Kathleen back in 2003 in the
grimy back streets of Braamfontein,
Johannseburg South Africa where she
is steeped in African folklore and is a
street-wise savvy pavement Jo’burg
Princess.
Since then she has featured in many

2 AUGUST 2010

an adventure and is jealously guarded
and protected by her guardians: the
Muti Masters and her Magic Trolley.
Her ultimate ambition is to be
crowned queen of all the little miss
beauty pageants.
There is a Chinese art project AND
an illustrated book in the making,
something to make ALL of you happy
and excited as it does me.
Alba was recently visiting us in
Johannesburg from San Francisco
and I caught up with the sparklingly
delightful and ridiculously talented
vixxen that is Alba and asked her a few
questions.
Hi Alba, what have you been up to
since you left our shores?
It has been a whirlwind of adventure
and hard work. I went back to school
in 2008 and did a graduate degree in
Fashion Studies at Parsons the New
School for Design in New York. I didn’t
sleep for over a year but it was the
most super incredible experience.
After graduation I moved to San
Francisco where I now live and work.
I work as a fashion illustrator for the
social gaming company Zynga and I
live in a cute little house on top of a
grand hill.
You have been out away for so long,
how has MissYucki evolved since you
have been away, do you take inspiration from your current locale or do
you solely base everything around
your experiences in Johannesburg
and around African culture?
Miss Yucki is constantly evolving,
that is the nature of the project. It

grows as we do. Neither Kat or I have
time to work on MissYucki as a full
time venture but we add it whenever
possible and continue to build on the
narrative and creative works. MissYucki takes its core inspiration from
our experiences of Johannesburh and
African folklore in general but we do
not limit our inspiration to just that.
More broadly we are influenced by the
wonders of our innuemrable travels,
urban chaos, technology, anthropology, glitter, dreams and magic.
Is it difficult not living in the same
city as Kathleen and how do you collaborate?
It is certainly not ideal living apart
from Kat. She is my best friend and
favourite artist. Kat currently lives in
Barcelona and we have been separated
by our global adventuring since 2004.
Over the years we have had to adapt
to the distances in space and time that
divide us and thanks to the wonders of
fast fast internets we have successfully
been able to remain in very regular
contact and continue to work together.
We chat on skype often and share
digital illustrations which we upload
for each other. So, even though we are
not physically together we can both
collaborate on digital work and share
ideas.
What is your Pageant Power Philosophy?
Bedazzle at all times.! Glitter, Dress
up , Disco and well chosen Muti all
help enhance the experience.

AUGUST 2010

2

Is MissYucki still a Sangoma in training or has she become a fully fledged
Sangoma?
That is an excellent question JMissYucki has been in training for a few
years now and while her muti manifesting skills and Pageant Power have
grown tremendously she still has more
work to do before she is a fully fledged
intergalactic Sangoma extrodinaire.
MissYucki lives in a dangerous
world, how does she manage to survive? Are there any plans to develop
the story further?
She survives primarily because she
has a team of very shrewd guardians,
the Muti Monsters. They saved her from
a dismal existence on the streets by
taking her into their gang. They have
been teaching her the ways of muti
manifesting, dream traveling and divination and through this careful grooming she has risen above danger . She
now thrives in the gloom and grit.
Is MissYucki still available, if so
where?
Indeed! One can always find a few
MissYucki items available in our shop
on our website, www.missyucki.com.
We are also available for custom orders
and are currently stocking the lovely
design store Entropy, in the Bamboo
centre in Melville, with our illustration
prints .
Are you working in anything exciting currently to take MissYucki further,
maybe appeal to a more global market?
We are currently participating in a
project with a Chinese art/ design book
publisher. Through this project MissYucki wil be featured in an illustration
book that will be distributed throughout Asia. The book will be out towards
the end of the year.

Whenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the next Trolley Trash
Treaure Hunt?
Those Trolley Trash were the best fun.

2 AUGUST 2010

We cannot wait to bedazzle everyone with part 3. Right now there are
no concrete plans for the event but
we would love love to do another
one in the near future. I will keep you
posted on developments.
What made you start MissYucki
and where do you see it taking you,
ie what are your next steps?
MissYucki was born in 2003. Kat
and I had just finished our Fine Arts
degrees and we wanted to collaborate on some kind of creative project
together. We started with random
doodles and began exploring our
experiences of Johannesburg. What
resulted was the beginning of a
charcter concept that embodied our
love of all things cute and all things
creepy. The concept has evolved
greatly over time and ultimately we
would love to publish an illustrated
MissYucki story book. That is our next
significant goal.
Away from MissYucki, you are now
working in America, doing illustrations for PetVille, tell us a little more
about that.
While I work for Zynga, I actually
work on a game called PetVille. It is
owned by the same company that
produces FarmVille but is a separate
franchise. I am the gameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fashion illustrator.
PetVille is a social game on facebook
and it involves building a world and
decorating and interacting with your
friends through your virtual pet avatar.
I create all the fashion apparel and
accessories for the game. Everything
is rendered digitally and we sell these
virtual items to game players.
Its an awesome job. I work with a
very talented team of artists and developers and I get to draw cute outfits,
bows and sparkles all day. I love it!
Thank you Alba, and MissYucki,
head on over to http://www.missyucki.com where you can find more
of her Tales and Adventures and you
can go and join her on her Facebook
page: http://www.facebook.com/
missyucki

Once upon an article there was a little
place of worship called the Aberlarde
Sanction. This parable and tallish-story
is about the infamous ‘Female Headshaving Association’, a ritual and sacred
passage performed by the congregation. The Aberlarde’ as it was fondly
dubbed by its indoctrinated, was lead
by a preacher and purveyor of blindingly good home-made Vodka and cold
Black Labels. This little place of worship
became the Brixton holy ground of
strange and wonderful delights. Free
thinkers and thieves could witness,
bless and be blessed. “The Aberlarde’ where miracles happen”, they used to
say.
Hidden within The Aberlarde’s sacred
texts was the ritual of the females sacrificing their locks. Gathering at ordained
times in this sacred place, and for the
sacred purpose of being shorn - the
females exposed to the world would
surrender to the clipper-god. Oh the
congregation did bless the females.
The air sometimes got so tense and
the energy so high one could hardly
breathe during the ritual - the beautiful
trance was something holy books and
articles are made of. The tranformation
from murkiness to light, the opposite
of baptism - an aesthetic rebirth. The
females that feared the ritual soon felt
safe, for the ritual was not amputation
as they had been taught, but a blessing
of the highest order.
All the females in the FHA went
through this right of passage at least
once. Some females never shed again,
and others kept their heads shorn for
years after, knowing the effect of this
powerful experience. Powerful also
were the image of the faces of their
fellow females that stared back at them
and so astonishing for the females to
see themselves - it was a double blessing. So they followed and it was good.
This is what the little house of worship
encouraged the females among them
to do, so it is written in the Gospels of
Taz Vilinius.
There were some in opposition to this
cathartic tranformation ritual that the
little house of worship practiced with
its free thinkers - the FHA females stood
their ground in the bloodly battlefield
of social religion. TOPHAT the oppos-

ing congregation were steadfast in the
practice of forbidding their women
to wear their hair shorn. They scared
the women with terrible stories and
accounts of the social disgrace and ugliness that would befall them TOPHAT 3. 17-67 “ ..the power of a
woman is in her hair, shorn women are
sinners against the hair-god and become ugly, damn them to social hell!”
These teachings did not strike a
favourable chord with FHA congregation who were loving and free - it was a
choice to believe, never an obligation
based in fear.
The men and women of TOPHAT said
it went against their hair-god’s commandment, they knew the true god,
they had worshipped at the altar and
given their god billions of rands a year.
Surely they must be justified and surely
hair was sacred?! The Female Headshaving Association was blasphemous!
Repent and regrow! TOPHAT demanded. Their three-step plan would save
the FHA from damnation, and would
keep the females loved and favoured
by the gods, should they surrender to
regrowth.
What saddened the members of the little house of
worship was that the females
from TOPHAT could not support their sisters, and would
discriminate, even damn
them to a life of being told
they were ugly and periods
in social hell, of the many
levels their social religions
spoke of - the consequence
was the FHA turned away
from TOPHAT. Infuriated,
TOPHAT called a ‘Holy War’
against the little house of
worship and the FHA were
left with little option, they
laid low for some years and
went underground. Virtually
disappearing.
This is what makes this
parable so interesting,
recently we have seen traces
of them rising up again - the
preachers are preaching
again, they are preaching

the purity of the FHA and congregations are listening.
Exactly as the prophesies predicted,
“The day will come when women will
walk head held high, clean and beautiful! The day will come when women
of the world will rise up and explore
a side of their beauty as women have
never been allowed to do in the social
religions of the hair god. In a loud clear
voice women will stand up and say, BE
BOLD, BE BEAUTIFUL , be blessed, oh on
that day. Amen!”
Now you have to decide - are you
regrowth - or shorn... on which side of
the fence are you?

This is a call of arms to all the Punk
Rockers, Psychos, Crusties, Rockos, and
Rude Boys of South Africa. You know
who you are, we are the Alternate Underground. We are a small scene but the
time has come to make something of
ourselves. We can no longer sit around
waiting for things to happen, we do
not have the infrastructure that the
European and American scenes have.
We lack record labels that specifically
deal with our genres. We have no radio
stations that will play our songs unless
we water them down to drively pop
puke. Our live music venues are slowly
being closed down. Something has to
be done. So this is what I propose.
To all of you who have instruments,
pick them up and start forming bands,
for it is the music that gets the crowds
to the shows. And right now there is a
serious lack of bands going around. We
need fresh blood. If this doesn’t happen then the scene will fizzle out again.
I’ve noticed a trend in the underground
scene, but I may stand corrected. But
thinking back to about 2002 – back
when The Stevie Wonderfuls were still
around – the scene was alive and kicking, and then it kind of disappeared
for a bit, Fuzi, Rocka, The Slahdogs and
the Hogs were still going, but that was
about it. And then that gig happened
at The Blues Room, Leek’s reunion show
a couple of years later and the scene
bounced back into action. Around 2006
there was a huge surge of new bands
-Japan and I, Highway Casino, The Kosmonauts, Death Valley to name a few
all started making waves and suddenly
the scene was alive and pumping again.
That slump in the middle, I rate, was
due to a decline in bands. And that’s
something that I don’t want to see happen again. But right now there aren’t

48 AUGUST 2010

a lot of new projects hitting the scene
– and without them we have nothing.
So form bands, get playing. If you don’t
know how to get shows email bands
that are playing and asked to get put
on the bill as an opening act. Nobody is
going to refuse.
To all of you interested in sound –
perfect your art. As a musician I’m tired
of shit sound on and off stage at shows.
Not to mention badly recorded demos.
It does no justice to the bands and thus
further detriments the scene. If the
music sounds crap then nobody is going to come listen to it. This ties in with
the serious lack of money that clubs put
into their sound systems. They don’t
seem to see the necessity of it, but if it’s
the bands that draw the crowds and the
crowds that keep the clubs going then
these sound issues need to be sorted
out pronto.
As for lack of venues, start your own
or get creative. We don’t need to stick
to playing the same venues over and
over and over again. Look at what the
Flaming Lips did – having illegal parties
in underground parking lots. I’m not
saying break the law, I’m just saying we
don’t need to take the conventional
route when it comes to where to play.
There are oodles of rad spots in South
Africa – go out and find them.
To event organisers, what the fuck
happened to good old flyers? I’m sick
of Facebook invites – all that does is
perpetuate the same circle of people
getting the same group of bands sending them invites about the same events.
It does nothing to increase awareness
of the scene. Go back to littering the
streets with flyers. If you’re complaining
about not making any money at shows,
barely enough to pay the sound engineers let alone the bands then you’re

not promoting your events properly.
Facebook can only do so much, and it’s
not enough.
To all guys and gals with cameras and
fingers for writing: take photos, write,
film, and document. Without documentation the underground will remain just
that, a memory in a couple of people’s
pasts. We are worth more than that.
We are a scene of highly creative and
talented individuals and I know for a
fact most of us would prefer to make
our livings doing what we love instead
of selling our souls to the corporate.
So make music videos for your friends,
design album art, flyers, start ‘zines,
and blogs. The internet is your friend.
Look at what viral marketing did for Die
Antwoord and Jack Parow. We have the
means to get our products out there; it
just takes a little bit of dedication and
commitment. Create your own market,
or tap into the international ones.
If we want to live the kind of lifestyle
that we love, and we do. And we find
ourselves in the situation where our
resources are limited we shouldn’t
get down hearted, we should create
ourselves, we have the means to do
so. So to all of you in the Alternate
Underground – get busy! There’s a lot
to be done, but its well worth the effort.
Stand together. When you’re feeling
down and it seems like there is no hope
just remember the words of the great
Jay Bones: “This is my scene, this is my
cause.”

How can I be so sure? Because obesity
has become a global epidemic with an
estimated 1.3 billion people overweight
or obese. It has been discovered that a
whopping 56% of South African women
(of which 10% are aged between 15-24)
are over weight or obese. Many, and I even
think its fair to say that ALL women have
issues with their weight at atleast one stage
in their lives. Next time you see a fat person,
take into consideration how easy it is to gain
weight nowadays. In fact, studies show that
the brain responds to junk food in the way it
does to heroin. Whack, isn’t it? To think that
your snack-time choccie is the equivalent
to a class-a drug? Well, believe it or not it’s
a fact, so take a moment to allow second
thoughts before you reach for that big, juicy
burger.
The terms “overweight” and “obesity”
refer to a person’s overall body weight and
whether it’s too high. Overweight is having extra body weight from muscle, bone,
fat, and/or water. Obesity is having a high
amount of extra body fat. The most useful
measure of overweight and obesity is body
mass index (BMI). Obesity is defined as a
body mass index (BMI) of over 30 kg/m2.
What causes obesity? There are many
factors that can cause obesity, some of
them include: An inactive lifestyle because
people who are inactive are more likely
to gain weight as they do not burn up the
calories that they take in from food and

50 AUGUST 2010

drinks. Your chances of being overweight
are greater if one or both of your parents
are overweight or obese and therefore,
through genes and family history. Some
hormone problems may cause overweight
and obesity, such as underactive thyroid
Cushing’s syndrome, and polycystic ovarian
syndrome. Certain medicines may cause
you to gain weight. These medicines include
some corticosteroids, antidepressants, and
seizure medicines. Some people eat more
than usual when they’re bored, angry, or
stressed. Over time, overeating will lead to
weight gain and may cause overweight or
obesity. Some people gain weight when
they stop smoking. One reason is that food
often tastes and smells better after quitting smoking. As you get older, you tend to
lose muscle, especially if you’re less active.
Muscle loss can slow down the rate at which
your body burns calories. If you don’t reduce
your calorie intake as you get older, you
may gain weight. During pregnancy women
gain weight so that their babies get proper
nourishment and develop normally. After
giving birth, some women find it hard to
lose the weight. This may lead to overweight
or obesity, especially after a few pregnancies. Studies find that the less people sleep,
the more likely they are to be overweight or
obese, and these are just the main reasons,
if I had to include them all we’d be able to
fill the entire mag! With so many causes, is it
really so shocking that the obesity rates are

so high?
There are so many health risks when it
comes to being obese it’s scary! Here are a
few: obese people run the risk of cardiovascular disease due to the fat deposits around
the internal organs and especially the heart
and lungs, and Pulmonary diseases and dilapidated function of the respiratory system
due to increased stresses to move the chest.
They are also in risk of having Heart disease
and stroke because overweight people are
twice as likely to have high blood pressure
than people who are not overweight.Overweight people are more than twice as likely
to develop type II diabetes.Also, gallbladder
disease and gallstones are more common
if you are overweight. Ostheoarthritis is a
common joint condition that most often
affects the knee, hip and lower back joints.
Gout, an increased level of uric acid within
the body causes this. Several types of cancer
can be associated with being overweight. In
women, these include cancer of the uterus,
gallbladder, cervix, ovary, and colon. Women
may have menstrual abnormalities due to
being overweight or obese.Sleep apnea is a
serious breathing condition that is associated with being overweight. It can cause a
person to snore heavily and to stop breathing for short periods during sleep
Obesity is a serious condition and it
can be life threatening, however, it can be
prevented! How? By following these few
simple steps such as following a healthy

lifestyle can help you prevent overweight
and obesity. Many lifestyle habits begin
during childhood. Follow a healthy eating
plan. Make healthy food choices, keep your
calorie needs and your familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s calorie needs
in mind, and focus on the balance of energy
IN and energy OUT. Watch the portion sizes,
especiually in fast food and other restaurants. Be active, make personal and family
time active. Limit the use of TVs, computers, DVDs, and videogames because they
limit time for physical activity. Keep track
of your weight, body mass index, and waist
circumference.
If you are already obese, do not be
mistaken, it is not too late! Obesity can be
treated! For long-term weight-loss success,
itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important for you and your family to
make lifestyle changes: Focus on balancing
energy IN (calories from food and drinks)
and energy OUT (physical activity), Follow
a healthy eating plan,Learn how to adopt
healthy lifestyle habits. Cutting back on calories (energy IN) will help you lose weight.
A healthy eating plan gives your body the
nutrients it needs every day. It has enough
calories for good health, but not so many
that you gain weight.Being physically active and eating fewer calories will help you
lose weight and keep weight off over time.
Changing your behaviors or habits related
to food and physical activity is important for
losing weight. A record of your food intake
and the amount of physical activity that you
do each day will help inspire you. Ask for
help or encouragement from your friends,
family, and health care provider. Reward
your success for meeting your weight-loss
goals or other achievements with something you would like to do, not with food.
Weight-loss medicines approved by the
Food and Drug Administration (FDA) may
be an option for some people. Weight-loss
surgery may be an option for people who
have extreme obesity (BMI of 40 or more)
when other treatments have failed. Weightloss surgery also is an option for people who
have a BMI of 35 or more and life-threatening conditions. However, with a lot of hard
work and dedication, you can avoid having
to go through all that extra trouble.
Oh and guys, please remember that fat
people have feelings too!