Dear Michael: Oh brother, what a mother

Monday

Oct 26, 2009 at 12:01 AMOct 26, 2009 at 8:19 AM

I have been married for five years, and my husband and I just had our first child. His parents have always been deeply religious, especially his mother, but she has always tried not to impose her beliefs upon me, as I am of a different faith. The problem is when I had my daughter, she started to make plans to have her baptized Catholic.

Michael Serode

Dear Michael,

I have been married for five years, and my husband and I just had our first child. His parents have always been deeply religious, especially his mother, but she has always tried not to impose her beliefs upon me, as I am of a different faith. The problem is when I had my daughter, she started to make plans to have her baptized Catholic. I am a Protestant and would like to raise her in both religions and let her make the choice for herself. My mother-in-law is not at all happy about this and thinks it is a selfish decision, while I think just the opposite. I think my daughter should be exposed to both, but my mother-in-law says that it will confuse her and she will grow up without faith. Who is right?

Sincerely,

Faith Fight

Dear Miss Fight,

You are 100 percent right in this situation. Your mother-in-law has no business setting up any kind of religious ceremony for someone else’s child, especially without the consent of the parents. Your daughter is your child, and you are the one that chooses how to raise her. And being exposed to a variety of beliefs will not discourage faith; if anything, it will make her realize that whatever she comes to believe is OK with you, and that is a very positive thing to instill in a child.

Love,

Your Diva Michael

Dear Michael,

I have been seeing this guy for about six months. Things have been going great, but lately I’ve been noticing some changes. He has lost a lot of weight rather quickly, he never seems to have any money, he is moody and hanging out with different people all of a sudden. I am beginning to suspect that he is getting into drugs. Is there another explanation that I am not seeing, or am I just fooling myself?

Sincerely,

Suspicious

Dear Miss Suspicious,

I’m going with your instinct, unfortunately. I wouldn’t be surprised if you added lying to that list of problems. These are all classic symptoms of someone who is developing a drug issue. I want to stress, though, that people handle things in strange ways sometimes. It is possible that things are not as they appear and that there are logical explanations for everything you have spoken of. Open up the lines of communication, promote honesty, and I hope it’s not what it looks like.

Love,

Your Diva Michael

Dear Michael,

My ex-sister-in-law, that would be the sister of my ex-husband, called me the other day out of the blue. We haven’t spoken in three years. She proceeded to tell me lies about my ex. They included how well he has done without me, and I know that this is not the case. How do I tell her to stop calling simply to make me feel badly?

Sincerely,

Ex-tra Baggage

Dear Baggage,

I would say something along the lines of “I divorced your brother, and now I would like to formally divorce you.” You and your ex are adults and made an adult decision to live separate lives. She has no business calling you and telling you anything, never mind lying. Just cut her out of your life, don’t answer the phone when she calls, let her know that you’re done.

Love,

Your Diva Michael

Michael Serode is the owner/operator of Salon Serode in Pembroke, Mass., and your divine advice columnist. Send questions to salonserode@aol.com.