It all started when 8-year-old Olivia McConnell suggested to her state representative, Robert Ridgeway, that the Mammoth become South Carolina’s state fossil. She raised the points that one of the first major fossil discoveries in North America was in South Carolina and that it was one of only seven states without one.

He thought it was good idea and, with his counterpart Sen. Kevin Johnson, introduced a nice, simple bill into their respective houses. It first hit a minor roadblock in the form of Senate Majority Leader Harvey Peeler who was objecting simply because, “Quite frankly, I thought we had passed a bill in the Senate putting a moratorium on official state whatevers.”

After a quick amendment from Peeler which, basically, said: “OK, but this is the last time for this crap, dammit!” the bill’s future seemed brighter. That is until it hit Sen. Kevin Bryant who is apparently so fragile in his belief that he insists that it infect everything (Bryant is pictured at left wasting somebody else’s time).

First, he derailed the bill by insisting that it include three verses from Genesis. This nearly doubled the size of this otherwise simple bill. After receiving criticism for that blatant attempt to politicize something that didn’t need to be politicized he relented by… doing more of the same.

The final version of the bill, which looks like it may be passed, includes this amended, redundant language by Bryant:

Section 1-1-712A. The Columbian Mammoth, which was created on the Sixth Day with the other beasts of the field, is designated as the official State Fossil of South Carolina and must be officially referred to as the ‘Columbian Mammoth’, which was created on the Sixth Day with the other beasts of the field.

There is no word from Olivia on how it feels to have genuine scientific curiosity squashed by a mean man in a dumb suit.

Verdict

For insisting that nothing good can happen unless his religion is allowed to mark it like a dog in heat, Mr. Byant is charged with Triple Dumbassery in the First Degree. We truly hope that someday he feels confident enough in his faith that he doesn’t have to shove it down the throats of little girls.

“I actually support funding for teaching the fundamentals of America’s Founding Fathers’ religion, which is Christianity, in public schools or private schools.” and “I liked the idea of giving parents the option of sending their children to a public school or a Christian school.” Later she added, “Unfortunately it will not be limited to the Founders’ religion.”

While the founders religious preferences are still debatable it’s very likely that many (if not most) would be very uncomfortable with the evangelism of today. It’s also true that many of the most well-known and most respected of the founding father’s (Jefferson, Franklin, Hamilton, Adams, Wilson, Morris, Madison, and Washington for example) are also those most critical of religion.

Jefferson, of course, is credited with coining the term “separation of church and state” in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association:

“Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should ‘make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’ thus building a wall of separation between church and State.”

Representative Hodges clearly needs to review her history. Finally she ends: “We need to ensure that it does not open the door to fund radical Islam schools. There are a thousand Muslim schools that have sprung up recently. I do not support using public funds for teaching Islam anywhere here in Louisiana.”

Verdict

For Representative Hodges clear ignorance of her own history and the US Constitution she easily earns a charge of Dumbassery in the First Degree. For her blatant (and illegal) favoritism of her own religion she also garners an additional charge of Dickory in the Second Degree.

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Offenders highlighted on SadPolitics can be charged with one or more of following in various degrees:

Dumbassery: Ideas or statements that are just patently stupid or so well debunked that no honest individual could possibly present them as factual. Dumbbasses are either liars or idiots (sometimes both).

Douchebaggery: Things that are technically true, but presented so far out of context as to be meaningless to the conversation at hand. Douchebags will often “lawyer” their way out of arguments.

Dickory: This is just, for lack of a better word, being an asshole. Dickory makes up for a lack of substance with volume and bullying.