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Author: srbottch

Retired in 2013 after 5 years as an elementary school teacher and 40 years as a sales representative. My essays/stories are a way to communicate through the telling of personal experiences. One reader said about my essays, "...these are like a cold sip during a marathon run, simple, real life events". Enjoy the run!

Do you remember this rhyme from an old television commercial? Usually, there were a couple of twin girls who sang the jingle. If you can finish it, then you’re of a certain generation.

Many people watched the Super Bowl for the entertainment pleasure of the ads as much as the actual game. Over the years, the Super Bowl has rewarded us with some of the best advertising money can buy, as millions of dollars were spent on brief but entertaining commercials.

This year’s Super Bowl ads, for the most part, were disappointing for message and humor. The Doritos ad with Chance the Rapper and The Backstreet Boys was pretty good, but other than that, ‘Meh’!

However, outside the Super Bowl, there have been some catchy ads over the years that are seared in our memories for both content and entertainment. Let’s have some fun, see if you can fill in the blanks of some of the old time ads. I’m sure you can do it…before looking at the answers.

1. Winston taste good ………

2. Please don’t ………. the Charmin

3. Fill it to the rim ………

4. Go Greyhound, and ……….

5. You’re in good hands ……….

6. Lucky Strike means ……….

7. Brylcreem, a little dab will do ya, ……….

8. See the USA ……….

9. Maxwell House coffee, Good ……….

10. Takes a lickin’ and ……….

Coffee commercials were very popular years ago and cigarette ads dominated the airwaves until they were banned.

Remember Wendy Hamburger’s line and the Little old lady who shouted, “Where’s the beef?” Everyone was saying it. Miller beer advertised their lite beer with a theme, ‘less filling, tastes great’. Celebrities would humorously debate which it was.

Can you think of some old time goodies? Sure you can, give us one or two and your score.

ANSWERS:

1. like a cigarette should! (cigarettes)

2. squeeze (toilet paper)

3. With Brim (decaffeinated coffee)

4 and leave the driving to us (bus company)

5. with Allstate (insurance)

6. Fine Tobacco (cigarettes)

7. Use more only if you dare (watch out, the gals will all persue ya, they love to get their fingers in your hair) (men’s hair cream)

Ahhh, army training, army messaging, army discipline. Some memories just stay with you, forever.

For instance, the corporal (could have been a general for all we raw recruits knew) who swore he couldn’t hear us as we screamed answers inches from his face. Does alcohol make you deaf and dumb?

Being called a dummy by the sergeant because my ‘steel pot’ (helmet) was backwards (excuse me, inexperienced and nervous), it stuck with me all these years as a reminder to check myself with one last glance in the mirror before leaving the house. Getting noticed by sergeants now.

But being told by the Senior Drill Sergeant that I ‘didn’t have a f****** thing to say about it’, after I was asked my opinion, well, that still brings a chuckle as I recall the exact moment.

That Senior Drill Sergeant’s assertion, that I ‘didn’t have an effin thing to say about anything’, just shut up and do as I’m told, is seared in my memory. He didn’t say that last part, but I was good at reading between the lines. i knew what he meant and took his ‘advice’ seriously.

And it worked well, army training, with that understanding. The military wasn’t built for opinions. It was built for action. There’s no time to debate. All discussions about any and every issue had gone on years before I came along. The rules work best when people react instantly to appropriate orders.

Strangely, when the training portion of my military service was completed, I realized, begrudgingly maybe, that it’s probably not a bad idea for a young man to have a brief period in his life when he has nothin’ to say about nothin’. Just do as you’re told. I think it fits into the broad category the army would call ‘discipline’.

Growing up and getting older teaches some of the same lessons but the army was kind enough to teach the condensed version.

I still check my appearance before leaving the house each day, making sure my ‘gig line’ conforms. The edge of my shirt, belt buckle and pant zipper must all be in alignment with each other: APPEARANCE! The corners of my bed sheets need to be tight and tucked, daily: ORDER! The area around my house is clean of any piece of scrap: CLEANLINESS! My shoe laces are still laid ‘left over right: UNIFORMITY! Above all, follow the rules:.CONFORMITY!

Yes, a substantial dose of discipline at an early age can have a positive effect for a lifetime. I just never understood, ‘hurry up and wait’*…

If you watched the Super Bowl, then you couldn’t help hearing some players described by their size, not just big and bigger, but by their weight. This is often referred to as a ‘playing weight’ because these behemoths are on rigid eating plans to maintain weight within certain ranges to make them more effective at their particular job, playing football (American).

Did you have a ‘playing weight’ when you were ‘in the game’? A self imposed ‘playing weight’?

Moreover, did you ever think of your job that way, as a game, a performance, a contest? Every day, when you went to work, you stepped into your particular ‘arena’ to earn a living and the resulting rewards.

Maybe it was was an office, a factory floor, classroom or stage. A desk, car and other people’s offices was my ‘arena’. I was in sales, and ‘on the road’, to where ‘wins’ could be had, at the customer’s places of business.

In sales, there actually is competition, making the ‘game’ more real, the ‘victories’ more invigorating, and, conversely, the ‘losses’ more upsetting.

And like a performer or athlete, maintaining a ‘playing weight’ and good health was important to a successful job. For a salesperson, living out of a suitcase, eating restaurant or fast food meals while ‘on the run’, or having drinks with a client, weight issues were problematic. Proper diet, exercise and rest was always a challenge, and important to successes or failures. At least, it was to me.

Hence, the ‘playing weight’. At some point, we realize that healthy habits contribute to more wins than losses. No matter our game, there has to be time set aside to practice sensible health habits. Maintaining a smart ‘playing weight’ is an important component of those plans.

When the game is over and we hang up our ‘uniforms’, whatever it was we wore, when we get out of the game, so to speak, it’s important to be cognizant, then, of our retirement weight, as well. We want to still be healthy enough to enjoy the rewards that were won earlier.

The forecast called for rain, freezing rain and a quick blast of snow. Our plans called for beer, a cold beer and a heavy dose of camaraderie.

We would not be denied!

However, as veterans of western New York weather (a.k.a. ‘old guys’) with familiarity of the dreaded ‘black ice’, we walked cautiously from car to bar, looking out for each other as friends are wont to do, ready to reach out at the first slip.

A good thing, too, because tonight, at Caverly’s Irish Pub in the Southwedge neighborhood, our first Bar Night of 2019, we had a potpourri of topics on our agenda. In truth, we don’t have an agenda, we just get our beers, sit down and talk, ‘unplugged’!

First things first, goodbyes were in order for one of our dear friends in the group. Oh, Heavens no, not that kind of goodbye. he’s only going to Florida for a couple of months. Will be back here in March when he hopes winter will be just a fading memory. We all know, of course, that winter along the southern shores of the Great Lake, Ontario, lingers well beyond March, often with big surges deep into April.

We lifted our mugs high, or as best we could with sore elbows, bum shoulders and oil can joints, and wished our friend safe travels, warm weather and a speedy return because next time, he buys.

Do you believe in UFOs, other planets that sustain life? Do we occupy this vast system of universes just ourselves, we earthlings? It’s easy to be a skeptic, isn’t it. If you haven’t seen something, then it probably doesn’t exist. Or, have we seen it?

Got your attention? And you thought we only came for the beer. Not at all, but it helps. As we age and become more erudite (remember, the beer helps) we begin to address Life’s lingering questions, such as, ‘is anyone out there’?

What did the Navy pilots aboard the USS Nimitz actually see when they encountered … what shall we call it, a spaceship… off the California coast in 2004? The US government has records of the incident, an incredible story that involved well trained, experienced and credible personnel.

I know, you have your doubts. Read about it, yourself. Look up ‘USS Nimitz & UFO incident’ for a full version. Don’t take a writer’s word, I’m just trying to get and keep your attention. Maybe this Wikipedia article will turn you a little…

This Bar Nighters were getting into some serious topics, tonight, eh. And it wasn’t the beer talking, heck, we only drank one. No, this was deep thinking material, esoterica, one might say.

I looked at our clear skies differently on the drive home tonight and paused in my driveway after dropping off the last rider; stars as far as I could see, a limitless vista. I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘is anything looking back at me’, as I lowered the garage door and scooted inside.

“Wop! Wop! Wop!”

One, then another, and yet another, ‘wop , wop, wop’, from different fronts, rock-hard snowballs, spheres of packed snow that when thrown expertly, leave red blotches on the skin or wet splatter marks on clothing. Mostly, they leave bruised egos! In the shoulder, the backside, the legs and the head, if you’re not watching.

“Run! Run for your life!”

War whoops from the neighborhood bullies who gathered to harass my friends and me on a cold, snowy nor’easter day, the kind of days school kids loved. School was closed, traffic slowed and monster trucks rumbled thru neighborhoods, pushing snow into huge piles for more outdoor games, a perfect atmosphere for snowball fights. These ruffians had lots of opportunities for ‘assaults’ on us during the long, cold New England winters.

Slam!

The kitchen door closed behind me.

“Just in time for dinner”!

“Why are you so wet?”

“Why are you panting?”

My mother didn’t get it, had no idea of the peril I faced in the dilapidated barn behind my house where the ‘bad guys’ had us trapped, on the second floor, the ‘good guys’, trapped and running out of ‘ammo’. Snow fell through the leaky roof of the old building, but nary enough to ward off the lot of ogres, older by two or three years, ungloved and open jackets, impervious to the elements. Tough guys, the toughest, and outside the barn, with an endless supply of ammo, falling snow.

I had been called once for dinner…

“Steeeeeeeeephen!”

“Suuuuuupper!”

She didn’t, and wouldn’t, call more than once.

… but the bullies wouldn’t allow our plea for a truce, a ‘temporary suspension of hostilities’. Only a ‘brave’ jump from the hayloft door into a pile of snow and mad dash to my house saved me from…well, you can just imagine!

Yes, ‘imagine’, and I do. Such a beautiful word. I find that, as I get older, a little bit at a time, ‘imagining’ becomes a key part of what I remember and makes my childhood experiences even more vivid than they probably were.

Oh, the barn was there, leaning, and snowball fights were common. And there were older kids, lots of them in a working class neighborhood of large families, but they weren’t really bullies, ruffians, or ogres. Often, we were on the same side in other activities played outside on the streets, surrounded by fresh air.

However, winter was the season of the toughest games. ‘King of the hill’ saw friends tossed about while vieing for the top spot of a snow mound. Sledding was fast and furious, weaving around cars, trees or each other. Just knocking someone into a snow bank was a game. All of it, the rough and tumble, pushing and shoving, bonded our friendships more.

We wore ourselves out…outside, where we created games all day and came home to the loud yell of, ‘suuuuupper!’

I can still pack a good snowball and hit a target…and imagine…and remember.

The students and I have been fortunate to have the planet Venus looking down at us as we make our way to school, or, as in my case, do my school crossing duties.

It’s dark enough in the morning to easily see this planet, the second in our Solar System and about 50,000,000 miles from earth at this time.

It’s presence offered us an opportunity to talk about the planets, the 8 major ones, and we listed them. Of course, these kids generally knew about poor Pluto being downgraded from a major to a sub planet because of its size.

The exciting part of working with kids is their genuine interest in the world around them because they’re discovering new things that we adults often take for granted. Also, it reminds us of what it was like to be a kid at one time.

Wherever you are, look up, down and around your own environment. Then, share your discoveries with others and get them excited, too.

Evenings with friends for small talk is one of Life’s enduring pleasures. Add some beer and holiday revelers at a local pub, and the gathering gets even more festive.

Tonight, our favorite watering hole, Caverly’s Irish Pub, was no exception. The pub was packed. Not a seat at the bar, full tables and the darts were flying. We smartly took the solitude of the back room and huddled there, six of us around a wobbly table. It was quieter, but not by much, after all, it’s the holiday season.

Tonight’s toast seemed a bit more special with Christmas and year’s end upon us. I watched reflectively while glasses clinked, friends smiled and well wishes were spoken. It was a nice moment.

As is always the case on Bar Night, there was something new to learn. Tonight, appropriately, it pertained to Christmas and the traditional Christmas tree lighting. Not just any lighting, mind you, but one that involved real candles.

Some of us spoke woefully of lights not working, trees too tall and tree allergies but lighting a tree with real candles, now that was something worthy of our attention. At least it was for me, as one who is clueless on traditions around the world.

Apparently, in German homes, lighting real candles on a tree is a time honored Christmas tradition. One of us spoke excitedly about doing it on his tree for his wife who is a bona fide German, and we always try to make wives happy, don’t we? So, candle up the tree.

It seems risky, but then with risk comes reward and the result is a stunningly beautiful tree. Here is the pictures to prove it, not of our friend’s tree but that of a German family, in Germany.

One beer seems to be our limit lately but we do make that one last a couple of hours, long enough to talk ourselves tired. It was time to go but not until I recited a favorite holiday poem, ‘The Night Before Christmas’. The group ‘demanded’ it and after some arm twisting (I made up that part), I delivered it ‘flawingly’. A dart thrower snapped the group picture and we headed home, remarking on an enjoyable evening, steady on our feet and yawning a bit. The 21st is in the books…