Where there are stories about the Gods, there will at least be sub-plots regarding their arguments over whether or not human beings are good or evil, are capable of leading themselves, and whether or not they should even exist. Diana, Princess of Themyscira, believes humans are good, but also knows outside influencers, for example Ares, the God of War, corrupts them and makes them do terrible things to one another. Perhaps if Wonder Woman hewed closer to this philosophical foundation instead of grasping for cheap chuckles and fish-out-of-water scenarios as an ancient Greek clumsily navigates World War I London, it might feel more than a minor entry into the crowded superhero arena. Oh look dear, Diana is unaware conservative Londoners are confused at her feminine confidence and bare shoulders…tee-hee.

Diana (Gal Gadot, Furious 7) sports a rosier origin story than her DC Comics and Marvel peers. She is not recovering from childhood trauma, lacks any revenge motive, does not gain her powers from a science experiment or lab accident; in fact, Diana grows up in an Eden of sorts on an island paradise granted to the Amazons by Zeus. Charged with protecting humans, the Amazons are all training and no action. Crashed pilot/spy Steve Trevor (Chris Pine, Hell or High Water), accidentally reminds the Amazons there is an entire world out there and it is imploding in a miasma called the war to end all wars. Diana, aching with a wanderlust since ‘birth’ and oddly wanting to live up to the Amazonian charge to help the humans, defies her mother, Queen Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen, 3 Days to Kill), and accompanies Steve back to Europe to stop the world from slaughtering itself.

Diana believes Ares is behind it all and must be the instigator for the global war now in its fifth year. We are in November 1918, a notable time from the history books, but a fragile precipice in the film. Steve Trevor has proof the Germans are about to employ a lethal chemical weapon which will annihilate both sides of the trenches. The news falls on deaf British ears back in London and the armchair Generals order Steve to let it lie. Very well, a covert mission with some chipper and easy identifiable sidekicks, a woman who is convinced the nefarious German General Lüdendorff (Danny Huston, Big Eyes) is actually the Greek God Ares, and our plucky American hero will fight their way through enemy lines, stop the evil plan, and maybe even win the war. Should take no longer than a quick weekend.

My disappointment with Wonder Woman does not lie in the story. We’ve seen superheroes come and entertain us before in wartime, most notably in Captain America: The First Avenger, perhaps the closest cinematic cousin to Wonder Woman. Steve Trevor / Steve Rogers, World War I / World War II, evil mad scientist works for Red Skull / evil mad scientist works for General who may or may not be immortal deity. The foul taste comes from how the film uses Diana for laughs as a country bumpkin, makes her suffer from shiny object syndrome, reduces Steve Trevor to a yammering nanny figure, and creates an atmosphere which feels a tier below most of the other superhero flicks saturating theaters for the past decade.

The Amazons never advanced beyond bows, arrows, and swords on their magic island for however many millennia they’ve hidden away and trained. It’s not their fault; there is most likely a lack of mineral resources there and certainly no population hardwired to innovate since all the warrior ladies live forever. It is this specific technological disparity director Patty Jenkins and more so writer Allan Heinberg abuse to death. In London, Diana at times comes off as mentally unstable to everyone within sight because she can’t maneuver to fight in the endless department store montage trying to find her suitable clothing. When she is the only person in the room who recognizes ancient languages, she is still reduced to foolhardy status which is more a result of the entrenched patriarchy unsettled by the presence of a woman in the war room. But the coup de grâce is Diana’s habitual “look at this!” tendency to focus on what’s right in front of her the way a child does completely disregarding the fate of the world mission she is on.

Surely, the God of War can wait while I stop here to listen to a refugee cry about her village. Diana’s charge across No Man’s Land effectively unstalemating trench lines stuck in the mud for a year is perhaps the film’s high point, but the reason for doing so is ridiculous. I thought the DC cinematic universe was full of the films taking themselves too seriously. Ben Affleck’s Batman is too dour for some folks compared to Iron Man’s snarky mischief. Is Patty Jenkins over-correcting to lighten up the franchise or is Diana missing the forest for the tactically irrelevant? Meanwhile, Steve Trevor, mansplaining ‘how to be a human in modern society’, does his best to repeat himself to frustration, “We don’t have time for this; we need to go; don’t forget the mission!” It’s more annoying than the 'too young for this movie' toddler squirming behind me in the theater; you know, the one where it is obvious to everyone but the parent she did not want to be there.

Wonder Woman’s question spurring its version of Clash of the Titans may remind you of Agent Smith from The Matrix, “Human beings are a disease.” They are not worthy. As Diana gets to know the humans, perhaps their paradoxical duality to be both benevolent and violent at the same time will make her wonder if she should be taking sides in their mundane affairs. But wait, drop that thread, there is a shiny object over here! Look Steve! In the end, hardly anybody will remember the plot and these irritating directorial choices. For Wonder Woman is impacting pop culture in other ways. Alamo Drafthouse offers ‘Women Only’ screenings to call attention to the rare female superhero who gets her own movie and some people call that divisive and even anti-feminist. Lebanon banned the film because Gal Gadot is Israeli and there is no place in their country for actresses of particular nationalities. Reality represents some of Wonder Woman’s themes better than the film does as humans tear themselves apart over the film before they’ve even seen it.