self reflection: boredom, balance, box + flow.

When I think of my attention span, I picture a baby chimp swinging thru rainforest trees, searching for bananas + mischief simultaneously. I'm curious, full of energy and have a hard time slowing down. Needless to say, I get bored easily. Yet, I’m routine to a fault and obsessively focused…until I’m not. And when I get bored of said routine, I switch it up, often in simple ways like running up 7th avenue instead of over the Williamsburg Bridge.

This morning, I did just that. I forced myself on a new running route 3 miles to Fhitting Room + Lyons Den Power Yoga, instead of box + flow. I'm responsible for my boredom. When I'm bored, I make a change. A small hiatus in routine offers me a reset + prolongs my interest in my commitments. This mornings workout was fulfilling, but also served as a reminder of my connection to box + flow: the workout + its impact on my body + mind. My fight. My flow.

sitting on the fhitting room floor before class, writing all my mid-running thoughts

Before I started box + flow, when I was stuck in complacent mud + fearful of a change into the unknowns of entrepreneurship, one of my biggest mentors said, “are you ready to be all in?, to focus on just one thing?” Nah, Ill never be ready for that. One focus is powerful, but to me, it seems limiting. I want to do everything I love...and I will, just maybe not at once. Comfort makes me uncomfortable. I may tip toe in it, but I typically don’t stay long. Complacency makes me anxious. It’s one of my biggest fears. So, can you imagine working with me? Let alone dating me? It takes real fighters to want to be on my team + by my side. And I am endlessly grateful for those who are willing + able to get messy with me daily: to find the grace + the grit, to dream BIG.

I’m always digging deeper, running faster, fighting harder, seeking for more meaning, connection + more life. I have to FORCE myself often to slow down + find my balance. So it makes sense that the structure of the box + flow class has to do with just this: attention span, commitment, personal best. When I stop moving, or just slow down, I am forced to feel. When you stop fighting, things typically start to flow. When you slow down, you create space for listening – to yourself, your intuition, your flow…what you want + don’t want. But you have to be willing to.

Box + flow challenges you to be present. To fight: nonstop movement to force presence and prohibit distraction --- just fight, move, sweat, breathe, dance + become completely undone. NO breaks: there are no breaks in life. No waiting to begin. No need for permission. Just a start + steady movement to follow. We play with speed + power to push ourselves harder + faster, to force us to be present throughout our fight to feel our fire. And then we let go. We breathe. We slow down + begin again, but this time thru water, thru flow. The flow is the sweetness after the struggle. The bottom of the glass of milk where all of the sunken cookie crumbles have gathered, Or as jay z says, “that gushy stuff.”

I don’t know about you, but me? I need to force myself to be present. To remind myself to stay HERE now. To feel my fight, my power, my strength, and then let it all flow, so I can listen to my intuition + what I need. And when I get bored, I switch it up. But I always end up coming back to what works for me, what just flows. THAT is the balance. #workhard #livyoung