Women say it over
and over: "How come every guy wants to end the 1st date with
sex?" This comment is often followed up by: "Aren't
there any decent guys, around? And, if so, where are they hiding?"

Well, guys, you know
the answer! So, can we share it with the ladies? What? You don't
believe that they will believe it? Come on, now! We at least have to
try.

Once upon a time, there
was a nerd who became a popular guy. And, he was a virgin. Yes, he
did date prior to his makeover, and yes, he did get to assorted
'bases'. Yet, he was still technically a virgin.And on one
memorable 1st date with a super hot woman, things heated up, fast, at
the end of the evening. When she prepared herself for intercourse, he
confessed his virginity. She expressed laughter, sensitivity, and
'pride' at his wishing to wait for the 'perfect' woman and the
'perfect' moment. But she also changed her mind and decided that one
date was enough.

This fellow had
multiple instances of this. And, wondered what happened to his
expectations as to how a woman should behave. And, what women wanted
men to do, early on in a relationship.

Now, fast forward to my
Single Life seminars. During most classes, women would typically
complain that guys only want one thing: sex.So, then I would
ask how they would react if the man did not make a move on them after
a nice evening, together. Almost unanimously, they would say that
either the guy must have been gay, found them to be unattractive, or
was a virgin. Each of these were distasteful outcomes.

So, here's a dilemma
faced by many men. Do they make that expected move, knowing that
the odds are great that they will push too fast in the heat of the
moment... And, thus blow a potentially great relationship? Or, do
they push full steam ahead because they believe that this woman is
equally horny and will do most anything on the 1st date? Or, do they
say to themselves that this woman has potential for being a lifelong
mate, so 'let's go slow'? Especially knowing that sexual tension,
once built up to an extraordinarily high level, can lead to a most
fantastic 1st-time sexual experience?

Likewise, there are
men... Virgins and non-virgins... Who simply want to see where a
romantic friendship would lead, before risking sexually transmitted
diseases or an unplanned pregnancy.

Then you have the
scenario where women go to a 'Singles, Meat Market' nightclub. A
place where hooking-up is the hoped for and expected outcome for the
evening. So, why do these women find themselves turned-off when they
get what they seemed to desire? You wouldn't go camping where bears
are known to roam, wild, and act surprised when a bear tore through
your tents and provisions. (Would you? And, 'no', I am not excusing
boorish/ rude behavior.)

Bottom-line here is
that men get mixed signals from so many women, that it is near
impossible to figure out what they should do, if they wish to develop
an ongoing romance. And, whether or not you discuss male
virgins or simply men who are choosy about whom they sleep and have
sex with, women need to find a way to let these guys know what they
expect. And then, what they get from him at the end of a date should
be a mutually agreed upon and accepted outcome.Which means
that in the real world, that there will likely be some 'fumbling'
and moves that might not be welcome. But, deal with it! Work things
out, as a grown-up! Both of you!

'Nuff said.

Russell
Irving is a media-acclaimed, expert on Single Life, Marriage, and
more. – His book, Improve Your Marriage – Don’t Overlook The
Obvious applies to couples in a 'long term relationship' and is
available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, as well as the book’s
companion site, www.DontOverlookTheObvious.com
. Check out his YouTube channel, ImprovingMarriages.
His Facebook page is Russell
Irving. And, Twitter name is RussIrving.