Oprah not invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes arrived in Rome yesterday to prepare for their upcoming wedding over the weekend, but sources have confirmed that Oprah wasn’t invited to the ceremony. Despite being the launching pad for their wacky interstellar relationship, Oprah just didn’t make the cut. She says:

“It’s not that I’m not going. It’s that they had a limited number of people that they could invite. I was not one the invitees. That’s fine. I don’t get invited to everyone’s wedding. I don’t invite them to everything I do. But I wish them the best. I have a great deal of regard for their relationship and so I’m trying to think of what to get them. I don’t know! I was thinking … I’m easier (to shop for) – you can get me a bubble bath I’m okay – but I don’t know what to give them.”

Additionally, Katie Holmes’ alleged new best friend and Tom Cruise’s mortal enemy, Brooke Shields, is set to attend. Which makes absolutely no sense. Unlike their belief in intergalactic space lords. That stuff’s rock solid.

Comments

#16 – it was a baby gorilla, I liked to call it my monkey, so when it was bad & I had to spank it, it sounded dirty.
Oprah came to visit one day & my monkey disappeared. i’m not sure if she sat on it, ate it or released it back into the wild, but I’m certain that bitch had something to do with it. Now, whenever I see Oprah, I can’t spank my monkey.

#21 Yep, It would not suprise me one bit if they decided it was time to off themselves and their fellow cultees and return to the mothership. You know- if you read about what Scientologists believe it makes you laugh until you realize all the fuckers that believe it!!

Oprah’s lucky though. But I think Tom was embarassed my the huge jack ass he made of himself on her show, so she doesn’t get to go boo hoo :(

Instead of rice they’ll be throwing VHS copies of Dawson’s Creek and MI. And TC will run down the line, hands out on either side, smacking everyone’s cock on the way to the limo.

It’s probably best Oprah doesn’t show… the might tell her the help needs use the service entrance. Besides, taking 12 hours to get your hair and face done to go to TC’s wedding isn’t exactly as much fun as having her face buried in Gayle’s nappy dugout…