My dad has been forcing me to learn kung fu for a while now, he says it's 'important to learn self-defence'. I hated the course from the beginning, it's suffering for me, and I always wanted to quit. But it all got worse one week ago, when they decided my level is advanced enough to actually fight with other boys. In the middle of the fight, I bit my tongue and got a bruise on my waist, and I am NOT willing to get hurt to learn. Although I understand it's for my own good, I really want to quit now, but I doubt my dad is gonna listen to anything I say, let alone letting me quit. How do I convince him it's the right thing to do?

It sounds to me like your dad was either forced himself to do something similar when he was young, or wishes he had.

I think it's important to sit down with your dad and ask him why he really wants you to learn Kung Fu. Is it really for self-defence, and if so for what reason? Who does he think you're going to need to defend yourself from? Or, is it because he thinks it's a good way for you to learn self-discipline and control?

If you can sit him down, it's important that you remain calm. If you get emotional and tempers begin to fray you immediately lose any benefit from the conversation. I'd also suggest you speak to your mum or another family member. Maybe they could shed some light on why your dad is so keen for you to learn it. I'd say there's a fair chance something has happened in the past that's triggered it, for example as I said at the start, he was maybe forced when he was small, or maybe he was bullied as a child and wished he could fight back. If you can understand his true reason, you'll better understand how to tackle it.

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