Do you ever wonder if your cat is plotting to kill you? Yeah, me too. Pouncing on my face in the middle of the night while I’m sleeping, running between my feet while I’m walking up the stairs with groceries, sneaking up behind me so I trip over him when I turn around…it all seems like a giant plot to do me in.

If your cat is kneading you, that’s not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn’t a gift. It’s a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as “Cat vs. Internet,” “How to Pet a Kitty,” and “The Bobcats,” plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat jokes.

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