Divine Gold Leaf Sneaks

The future illustrious Pontiff of Pot, Pope Cannabis CDXX himself, might slip on a pair of these fine Italian gold leaf leather sneakers designed by Palm Angels sold at Farfetch. Wearing them as he steps out of his bed chambers onto the veranda of the Vatican of Weed in the heart of the Holy Emerald Triangle, the Pot Pope would pull out his sacred golden jewel encrusted pipe passed down from the previous Popes before him, and puff the fresh batch he blessed earlier that day during the 4:20 service.

He would then proceeds to walk his ganja-godly gold leaf sneakers around the cannabis crops closest to harvest, reciting a litany of bud blessings to ensure the next harvest is the stickiest of ickies to get the faithful so high, they’ll become one with the Holy Spirit through every exhale.

“Thank Jah, I’m a country boy…” Ol’ Hank was a country boy who came from a long line of prideful lumberjack men. Years spent clearin’ brush and swingin’ a pickaxe started to take it’s toll on him though. Ol’ Hank. Or Buzzsaw Hank, as the fellas down at the pool hall liked to call him […]

“I’m Henry VIII, I Am” I’m Henry the canned eighth, I am Henry the canned eighth, I am, I am I got to smokin’ with the widow next door She’s been out tokin’ seven times before And every one was an Henry’s Original She wouldn’t have a Willy or a Sam no ma’am. I just canned […]

Confectionary for the counter culture… These are the sort of edibles you were warned about. The sort of edible that picks up your daughter in a motorcycle for the school dance and leaves tire tracks on your lawn. The sort of edible that spikes the punch bowl and then drives you to “make-out point”. Rebel […]

Putting the velvet rope around your dope… In an airport that makes sense Executive Vape Lounges are all the rage. A giant atrium where cannabis connoisseurs can puff away before being ferried off to Shanghai on business or mom’s house in Des Moines. There are levels to this thing however. One can smoke a nice […]

With great power there must also come great highs… Imagine your regular, run of the mill, pre-rolled joint and it has somehow taken on human form and now attends high school in Queens, NY. Let’s say this joint attends a science fair because he’s sort of nerdy and digs that stuff but is unfortunately bit by […]

You put your spells in there… Traditionally, the leather stash pouch was used by magical herbal merchants who kept their pouch on their waist and offered such “beans” to weary travelers and curious townsfolk alike, giving cloudy daydreams of giants and singing harps. (Magic “beans” indeed… puff puff) In feudal Japan, the leather stash pouch […]

The Empire Puffs Back. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… It is a time of civil disobedience. Rebel vaporizers have won their first victory against the evil Darth Vapor. During the battle, rebel spies manage to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, Arizer Solo II, a dry herb vaporizer […]

L-O-L-A Lola. “I met her in a canna-club down in North Weho Where you can puff on vapes that taste just like cherry cola C-O-L-A cola. She snuck up to me when I puffed on her lips I asked her name and in a smooth clean voice she said, ‘Lola’ L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo […]

A quick lift and a giant shift By Lenny’s own account he was nothing before Dixie Elixir. He could only recall glimpses of a mundane existence spent on the hamster wheel of humanity. Just another cog in the giant machinery of life. His friend (a true friend indeed) had witnessed the embers of a long […]

Herbology & Reflexology: A life science. Before Aunt Denise received her first cannabis oil massage she thought she had known what relaxation was all about. After all, Aunt Denise had a monthly membership to Massage Envy, she owned many scented candles, wore loose fitting pants and she sleeps with a full body pillow. Sometimes she […]