There is a glacier.Its blue tongue’s tip just tastes a frozen gorge.There is a gorge, its walls shattered by cold; a once-green thing that, in dying, birthed a thousand aching fissures. It works its jagged way downhill, round ragged rifts and drifts until it comes upon a little frosted wood.There is a wood, an island locked in ice.Within this wood the gorge descends. It wanders and it wends; it brakes and all but ends outside a clearing wet with sun. And there, forking, its bent and broken arms embrace a strange, enchanted glade.

There is a glade.And in this glade the black bears sleep, though salmon leap fat between falls. Here the field mouse draws no shadow, the eagle seeks no prey; they spend their while caressed by rays, and halcyon days are they. Here rabbit and fawn may linger, no longer need they flee. For in this timeless, taintless space, the Wild has ceased to be. (Outside the glade are shadow and prey, are ice and naked death. There blood may run freely. There the eagle, that thief, is a righteous savage, a noble fiend. But once in the glade he is dove, and has no taste for blood, running freely or otherwise).And in this glade there nests a pool: a dazzling, blue-and-silver jewel; profoundly deep, pristinely clear. All who sip find solace here, for this is the Eye of Being. They lap in peace, assuming blear, not knowing it is seeing. And ever thus this pool shall peer: a silent seer, reflecting on—all that Is, and all Beyond.(Outside the glade there lies a world where rivers ever run, where ghastly calves in random file revile a bitter sun. East, the day is born in mist. West she dies: her rest, the deep. And North…North the Earth lies mute. Wind gnaws her hide, wind wracks her dreams. Wind screams like a flute in her white, white sleep).But in the glade are tall, stately grasses, sunning raptly, spinning lore. Roots render the rhythms, blades bend without breeze, as signals ascend from the glade’s tender floor. (In this wise the glade weaves its word, airs its views. All the glade’s flora are bearers of news). They do not wither with fall, for in the glade there is no fall. They do not bind or wilt or brown—they gesture, spreading the mood, the mind; conveying, indeed, the very soul of the glade. As ever they have, as they shall evermore.Bees do not hum here; they sing. They fatten the dream. Mellow and round are the timbres they sound, sweet is the music they bring. Birds do not sing here—they play. They carry the theme. Dulcet and warm are the strains they perform. Gifted musicians are they. (All in the glade are virtuosi. They were born to create. Melody, harmony, meter…are innate). Now the performance is lively and bright, now full, now almost still. For, though all in the glade may lean to the light, they must bend to the maestro’s feel.And yet…there was a day, long ago in a dream, when this ongoing opus was torn. And on that day (so the lullaby goes) the wind brought a scream, and Dissonance was born.There was a noise.Moose tensed, their coffee eyes narrowed, their patient brows creased. Bees mauled the tempo, birds lost their place. The grass stood *****, all blades pointing east. There was a crash, and a shriek, and a naked, bleeding beast burst stinking through the fern, fell stumbling on its face.Moose scattered: unheard of. Sheep brawled, geese burst out of rhyme. The symphony, forever endeavored to soar sublime, fluttered, plunged, and, for all of a measure, ceased.The pool was appalled…what manner brute—what kind of monster was this? Furless flank to forelimb, hide obscured by blood. As for its face…it had no face; only a look: of shock frozen in time, of horror in amber. A deep welling rift ran temple to chin, halving the mask, caving it in. Such a grievous wound…the pool watched it stagger, on two legs and four, thrashing about till it came to a rise. There it labored for air, wiped the blood from its eyes, lashed at illusion, looked wildly round. Beholding the pool, the beast tumbled down.And there this wretch plunged his thirst, drank his fill, fell back on his haunches.The pool became still.The two traded stares.The glass read his features: that durable eye pondered the wreckage and probed the debris. Revolted, the pool sought the succor of sky. But that thing remained—that face…in all creation…surely there could be…no other creature so ugly as he.And he gazed in the glass.Beneath the surface were…images…swimming in currents of shadow and light. He saw half-shapes and fragments…hideous men, exotic beasts…saw blue worlds of water, saw white worlds of ice…it was all so vague and unreal—yet somehow strangely familiar. Deeper he peered, but, as his mangled face neared, the sun smote the pool and the shapes disappeared. The brute pawed the ground and, dreaming he’d drowned, shook his head sharply and slowly looked round:There were starlings at arm’s-length, transfixed with suspense, their tail feathers trembling, their dark eyes intense. Fantails and timber wolves, stepping in sync, paused for a sniff, stooped for a drink. Bees, pirouetting, threw light in his eyes. Seizing the moment, the pool pressed its hold.And the glade revolved.The freak watched it spin—saw the ferns’ greedy fingers reach round and close in, saw the tall grass rise high in an emerald sheen, swaying to rhythms from somewhere obscene. This place was madness; he struggled to stand, but, weak as he was, keeled over cold.And the glade heaved a sigh, and the tall grass reclined, in curious patterns once rendered in whim. Far off in thunder the hard world replied, as iced pines exploded and screamed on the breeze. Down bore the sun, a chill just behind. The pool, grown blood-red, fended frost from its rim. Details dissolved in the oncoming tide. The pool dimmed to black. Night seeped through the trees.Now flora found slumber while, pulsing below, the pool was infused with a soft ruby glow.Soon birds bearing beech leaves, and needles of pine, laid down a spread and returned to the limb. But breath from the North blew their blanket aside. The wind grew in earnest, the air seemed to freeze.And the wolf and the she-bear, of contrary mind, abhorring their task approached, looking grim. They sniffed him for measure, then, loathing his hide, growled their displeasure and dropped to their knees.All night these glum attendants flanked his naked quaking form. The rising moon drew dreams in gray.In time the man grew warm.

Morning swept through the glade in one broad stroke of the master’s brush, dappling the foliage with amber and rose. The pool was roused by the sweet pass of light. He opened his eye and the glade came alive: into the whirlpool of life a thousand colors swam, chasing the scattering eddies of night. The magic of morning began.Bluebird and goldfinch descended in rings, primaries clashing with robin and jay. Dollops of sun, repelled by their wings, spattered anew on the palette of day. Banking as one, the hues struck away.There was a crowd.And in this crowd that oddity sat, its chin on its chest, its rear pointing west. Its forepaws lay leaning, upturned and at rest. ***** and blood messed its muzzle and breast. Passed overnight. Or perhaps only dozed…tendril by tendril, claw by claw, the crowd decompressed: the ring slowly closed.And the stranger cried out and shifted his seat. His eyes sought his feet—rounding the arches, and topping the toes, the tall grass was questing. The little brute froze.And the fauna took pause, and the flora went slack. Leaves followed talons, stems followed claws. Hooves tromped on paws as the crowd drifted back.Not a breath taken. Not a move made. Stillness, like fog, enveloped the glade.Now the grass tugged his feet, now the sea of jade splayed—left hand and right, the slender shafts reared. Gaining momentum, blade followed blade. The green field was torn till a deep swath appeared. The swath hurtled west, reflecting the sun. A hundred yards distant it died. Once more the grass stood, its tips spreading wide. The swath, born again, repeated its run.Plain was the message, and clearly conveyed. The newcomer gawked. Confusion ensued.The tall blades were swayed by the pulse of the glade.But the swath was not renewed.Something tiny bounced by. He ventured a peek, barely rolling an eye.A chocolate sparrow, with pinfeathers black, popped past an ankle and paused to look back. The bird cocked its head, rocked in place, hopped ahead. It fluttered. It freaked. It glared and stopped dead. Vexed to its limit, it burst into flight.The sitting thing watched till it passed out of sight.Now a breeze bent his back, picked him half off his stern. The wind, done its best, grew flustered at last. It trailed to the west, thrilling lilies it passed. It wound round the willows and didn’t return.So the fauna repaired to the live oak’s shade.A strange kind of stupor fell over the glade.From deep in the wood came a shape through the trees—a pronghorn, perhaps, or an elk swift and sure. But up limped a moose, a flyport with fur, low in the belly and wide at the knees. Wizened he was, scarcely able to see. Neither vision, nor vigor, nor velvet had he. He hobbled abreast, then groveled or died, his nose facing west, his tail flung aside.The brute merely glazed.But the glade was unfazed.Those long shafts reshuffled. A tense moment passed.The ominous shadows of badgers were cast. Three left their holes, as if to attack. They pedaled like moles and the stranger jumped back. He stumbled, fell flailing, and, kicking his guide, threw out his arms and tumbled astride. First he stepped on his tail, then he stepped on his pride. The moose bellowed twice and shook side to side while the little pest clung to his high, homely hide.And the old moose unbent to his knees by degrees. He reeled like a drunk down the path of the breeze. Together they lurched through a break in the trees. And all morning long, and on through the day, both beggar and bearer would buckle and sway. The moose lost his temper, but never his way.And the wind blew the sun to its deep ruby rest; the scrub, in obeisance, inclined to the west. Their slow taffy shadow in slinking would seem to slip round the rocks like a snake in a dream.And the sun became a beacon, and the underbrush a stream. The wide Earth took their weight in stride, and the wind named him Hero.

WORLD

When the sun was low the old moose began to stumble, at last limping to a halt beside a swift river lined with stunted pines. He’d half-expected a somewhat graceful dismount, but Hero, dug in like a tick, wasn’t about to let go. The moose knelt until his joints objected, shimmied, bucked, and with a sudden whirl sent the little bother flying.Hero scraped himself out of the dirt and looked up forlornly. The ancient moose, his good eye gone bad, glared a long minute before hobbling away, his bony **** rocking with dignity, his scraggly tail fighting off imaginary flies.Hero managed a few steps and dropped, staring in disbelief as the moose disappeared between half-frozen pines. He remained on his knees for the longest time, his jaw hanging, waiting for the moose—waiting for anything to show. At last a ruckus to his left snapped him out of it. His head ratcheted around.Fifteen feet off the bank, three screaming gulls were dancing on an immense stone outcropping, fighting over a rapids-tossed sockeye. Hero was instantly famished. He wobbled to his feet and stumbled twice wading out, only regaining his balance by leaning against the current while rapidly wheeling his arms. The shrieking gulls reluctantly backed off as he stepped in slow-motion through the rushing water. Hero lunged at the slapping fish, cracked an ankle on the rock, and hopped around howling with both hands holding his shin. One foot was as good as none in the surging water. He went right under. Before he knew it he was being swept downriver.This was glacial meltwater, so cold he quickly lost all sensation. Hero swallowed a mouthful and surfaced fighting for life; too disoriented to combat the current, too numb to realize his waving arm was striking something solid. That solid something turned out to be a swirling clump of rotted birches tangled up in scrub. He embraced one of these trunks as the mass slammed against isolated rocks, kicked his feet wildly, and somehow hauled himself aboard. The raft ricocheted rock to rock until repeated impacts sent it spinning. Giddy from the whirling and soaking, he clung freezing to the trees, retching continuously while the river roared in his ears. Through spray and tears he made out only cartwheeling fragments of the world.But then the river was widening, its fury dissipating. The raft was approaching the sea. Hero gasped as the seemingly boundless Pacific swallowed the broad red belly of the sun. And as he spun he was treated to a panoramic, breathtaking spectacle: the great indigo ocean with its slow traffic of driftwood and ice—voiced-over by the dismal calls of foraging gulls, and broken rhythmically by intermittent glimpses of the river’s rocky banks growing farther and farther apart. Whirling as it went, the dying man’s soul was taken by the sea.

At the 59th Parallel in winter, the Pacific coast plays host to numberless floes and minor bergs orphaned from Alaskan coastal glaciers. Hero cruised into a watery gridlock on a boat of ice-glazed birches, one bit of flotsam among the rest.The cold wouldn’t let him move, wouldn’t let him breathe, wouldn’t let him think. He lay supine, feet crossed and hands clasped, terrified that to budge was to roll. An ice patina grew over the tangled trees like a white fungus—this growth soon webbed his fingers and toes, speckled his chest and thighs, glazed his hair and face, danced and disintegrated with his breath’s tapering plumes.Floes and frozen-over debris tended to group with passing collisions; Hero’s married birches bit by bit accrued a mostly-submerged tangle of trunks and branches, all becoming fast in a creeping ice cement. Night came on just as resolutely, until land was only a flat black memory. The raft moved silently over the deep, still accepting the occasional gentle impact. And the floes became thicker and wider in a freezing doldrums; soon the proximate sea was all a broken field of packed ice, bobbing infinitesimally with the planet’s pulse.Long ghostly strands of fog came striding over the torn ice field. They leaned this way and that, their mourners’ skirts tearing and patching and leaning anew. The ghosts were there to seal it: their locked fingers and gray diaphanous wings were quickly becoming a wholly opaque descending shroud, its boundaries lost in the soughing wind.Collisions came less and less. Darkness and silence, breaching some previously impenetrable barrier, began to take up residence in Hero’s chilling marrow. From his very center broke a weak little cry of refusal, of denial, as mind mustered frame in one desperate bid for freedom. His skin, frozen to the raft, peeled right off, and at that his inner brave succumbed. Hero’s smashed head arched back. His face contorted frightfully while the little lamp fluttered and paled within.A raucous chorus slowly worked its way through the mist. It emerged a few hundred yards off—a tiny, terrified barking, growing in clarity as it grew in volume and urgency. It was a sound beacon. Hero strained eagerly, and when for one excruciating minute the beacon was cut off by a large passing body, was certain death had claimed him. Then it was back, and his heartbeat was quickening. He caught a heaving sound…something was moving his way down a wide tributary between floes. Hero could hear a gasping and snorting, accompanied by a hard slapping and splashing. The sounds vanished. In a moment the raft was rocked from below.A sputtering muzzle blew salt in his eyes. A cold slimy flipper flapped across his chest and slapped about his face. The fur seal barked directly in his ear. Whiskers raked his dead cheek. The seal barked again.Back below the surface it slipped. Hero listened anxiously as the splashing sound retreated whence it came.The seal swam off perhaps a hundred feet and began barking hysterically.From much farther off came a profusion of answering barks.The seal swam back to Hero’s raft, circling and calling, circling and calling, while the responders approached en masse.Now a sallow beam could be seen cutting through the fog. Several more showed vaguely along a plane yawing with some huge, barely discernible object.A herd of northern fur seals burst into sight, barking madly, beating through the ice. They converged on Hero’s raft, really bellowing now.Those odd yellow beams came in pursuit, and soon were close enough to eerily illuminate a gigantic wooden vessel parting the ice. The seals barked ferociously. Whenever the vessel leaned away, those nearest Hero’s raft would absolutely howl.The fog deepened, condensed, crystallized, and then the collective light of a dozen lanterns was playing over a low, listing nightmare. Hero could hear the shouts of many aggressive men, but the waterborne seals, rather than scatter, boarded the ice and redoubled their din, fighting their way onto his quickly mobbed raft.The sealers hurled serrated spears even as they clambered down rope ladders. When these men reached the ice the seals snapped and gnashed madly, refusing to be dislodged. The sealers lost all composure with the thrill of the hunt: wielding clubs, spears, and hatchets—sometimes using iron bludgeons or any old utensil handed down—they crushed skulls, dragged carcasses, hooked animals still spurting and bleating. Clinging though he was, Hero was flabbergasted by the way the slipping and scampering men went about their butchery, hacking and smashing more with passion than with precision. But not a single seal attempted to flee—throughout the carnage they barked all the louder, egging on their slayers, carcass by carcass drawing the impassioned sealers to Hero’s ice-locked raft.It was all so hazy and macabre. Hero’s eyes rolled back, and the next thing he knew he was sitting hunched on the vessel’s sopping deck. Two men were rubbing his limbs while another poured warm water down his back. He looked around in shock. The very notion of a boat containing more than one or two individuals—a sort of floating tribe—was way beyond his ken; so to see it, to have it come looming out of nothingness, was an experience almost supernatural.He remembered some of those fur-covered men force-feeding him mouthfuls of halibut and seal fat, and he recalled a small group standing around him, shouting words that made no sense at all. After that he had a very vivid memory of their angry little chief repeatedly punching him while hollering one angry little word over and over and over. Hero couldn’t make out his inquisitor’s face, for the large feather-lined hood quite engulfed the man’s head, yet he could see those quick eyes flash as they caught the oil lamps’ light. Finally this man stopped boxing Hero’s ear. He stared hard. In these remaining decades of the tenth century it was fully within his power to administer as he saw fit—he could have ordered Hero’s immediate execution and not a man of his crew would have objected. He hesitated only because there wasn’t a hint of resistance in his prisoner’s pinched and frightened eyes. He leaned forward, studying the wound that all but split Hero’s face in two before grunting, raising his right arm, and yanking down its seal hide sleeve. Attached to the stump of his forearm was a primitive prosthesis consisting of a thick oak cap strapped to the arm with lengths of gut, and, hammered squarely into the center of that cap, a broad, cruelly hooked blade chiseled from a narwhal’s tusk. He held this obscenity in front of Hero’s eyes, traced the face’s deep diagonal rift, and once more demanded his captive’s identity. Hero then vaguely remembered being dragged along a tilting deck and thrown into the ship’s tiny hold. He retained a strong mental image of landing in a place of musty odors and dank projections.There came a soft scuffling in the darkness, and presently a blind and exceedingly old woman felt her way to his side, mumbling as she approached. Her speech was comprised not of words; it was rather a running gibberish of cooing vowels and clucking consonants. The old woman was as mad as her circumstances; sick with sea and solitude, bedeviled by age and confinement. She sat cross-legged, patting her withered palms up his arm until she came to his face. Her strange mumbling soliloquy rose and fell as her bony fingers daintily explored the newly opened wound. Hero let his head fall back in her lap. A pair of hands like emaciated tarantulas scurried through the filth and tiny bodies until they came upon an old otter’s pelt bag that held her secrets. The woman loosened the bag’s cord and extracted an assortment of herbs, sniffing each in succession. She then scooped a handful of blubber from a bowl made of a previous occupant’s skull, kneaded the selected herbs into the blubber, and commenced gently massaging the wound, clucking and cooing while the black rats watched and waited.For nine interminable days Hero remained in that cold, stinking compartment, rocking back and forth between life and death. The old woman never gave up on him. She clung to him during his seizures, rubbed his limbs vigorously when his blood pressure fell. She gathered various accumulated skins and, using woven strands of her own long hair, sewed him a multilayered, body-length wraparound with arm sleeves and very deep pockets, working by touch with a needle formed of a cod’s rib. By this same method she was able to fashion a pair of heavily lined snug-fitting moccasins. The old woman made him eat; she masticated the cod and halibut their keepers pitched into the hold, then shoved the results down his throat with a long gnarly forefinger. She called into his screaming nightmares, talking him out of sleep and back into their foul little reality. Together they lowed in the dark, while the keel groaned along and the waves beat time.At the end of those dark nine days his strength was restored, but not his mind. Once again he was taken on deck.The vessel had reached a chain of remote wind-swept islands, rocky and treeless, naked except for patchy carpets of hardy grass. These islands stretched far to the west, shrouded in mist. The ship was making for the smallest; just a chip on the sea. When they reached depth for anchorage Hero was hustled into a rowboat and lowered over the side. He looked up, saw two men climbing down by rope. These men positioned themselves at the oars and slowly rowed toward the islet. Seated between them, Hero felt like a man being led to his execution. He snuck a peek. The rowers’ heads were lowered, their features completely obscured by the heavy feathered hoods; they had all the somberness of pallbearers. Not a word passed between them as they rigidly worked their oars: the only sound was the dip-and-purl of wood in water. Hero looked away. Against his will, he found his eyes drawn to that rocky islet waiting in the fog.Not a bird, not a sea lion, not a shrub. It was lonesome beyond imagination.Upon landfall one of the men used a spear’s point to **** Hero ashore. While his companion steadied the boat, he removed a skin sack full of half-frozen halibut, followed by a few armloads of precious tinder. These articles he tossed at Hero’s feet. He resumed his place at the oars and, without looking back, used the blunt end of his spear to shove off.Hero watched the boat moving away, watched the men climbing their ropes, watched the boat being hauled aboard. As the mysterious vessel receded he saw a number of those silent men standing at the stern, stolidly returning his stare. Their hooded forms grew smaller and smaller, finally becoming indistinct. The vessel was swallowed up in fog.Hero looked around, at a desolate world of rock and drifting ice. In the sunless pools at his feet a few purplish, flaccid sea anemones were waving in a sickly phosphorescence; along the rocks ran a tattered quilt of wild grass and lichen. It was the end of the world. He began to pace in his anxiety, only to crumple bit by bit inside his furs. At last he just sat with his face in his arms and wept. When he could weep no more he raised his head and opened his red, swollen eyes.There were gulls all around him, staring like statuary in a madman’s garden. Standing in their midst were auks and puffins and murres, absolutely spellbound, unable to lean away. The silence was broken only by a wild, fitfully pursing wind—a wind that seemed, eerily, on the verge of producing syllables. And on that wind a flock of terns was rising slowly, their beady eyes fixed on the lone sitting man. The terns watched as he trembled, and banked as he swooned.Then, beating as one, they threw back their wings and blew into the sun.

There was a blaze.Behind that blaze a pair of black, bug-like eyes met his and immediately withdrew. A man wrapped in caribou hides stood abruptly, drawing angry swarms of sparks.The Aleut peered queerly into the icy Pacific, his craggy profile merging seamlessly with a jumble of rocks showing just beyond his shoulder. The man was very tall, closer to seven feet than to six, and thin almost to emaciation.He was also a mute. Soon enough he would display a talent for communication through gutturals, but now his body language spoke louder than words. It told the shivering stranger that he was not only disliked—he was feared.The islander removed the hides he’d piled on the sleeping man. He produced a bone awl and strategically pierced a caribou hide, draped the hide over the old woman’s handiwork, and ran a cord of tightly woven tendons crosswise through his made holes, knotting it at the bottom to create a kind of cloak. He then killed the fire, heaped wood, fish, and remaining hides into Hero’s arms, and led him to a tiny cove where his long skin canoe lay in the grass. This was not the one-man kayak used by his people for centuries, but an actual canoe modeled on the graceful vessels he’d observed under the control of northern coastal tribesmen. After dragging it into the water he perched Hero in the fore, placed the cargo in the middle, and stepped into the rear like a gaunt furry spider. The Aleut dug out a paddle and began pulling with smooth strokes of surprising muscularity, his black eyes trained on his quiet companion’s back.So began their long island-hopping journey. They stepped the chain one stone at a time, living off the sea. But much as the islander disliked Hero’s vapid company, it was not in his nature to proceed expeditiously; his people, remote as they were, had learned to count not in days but in generations. Given this, the Aleut took his time. He showed Hero how to build shelters of skin and gut; during bad weather the two would sit on an island in utter silence while rain hammered on their stretched seal-intestine window. And one very clear night he pointed out constellations while attempting to demonstrate, using broad gestures, just how the brighter heavenly bodies were in perfect alignment with the Aleutians. Hero followed his guide’s gestures as a pet follows its master’s movements and, like a pet, soon became bored. The Aleut did not grow flustered. He grew ever more wary: behind that granite, weather-beaten exterior squirmed a very primitive imagination. Superstitious as he was, the Aleut was almost certain Hero could read his mind. So one time, and one time only, he threw a searing look at the back of Hero’s bowed and listing head. After a long minute of vigorous thought-projection he shifted his gaze aside. The brute appeared to feel this shift, and gently turned his head. And both saw the ocean break rhythm, and watched as otters and sea lions surfaced, noted their progress, and slipped without tremor beneath the waves.In spring the fogs lifted. The grimness gave way to serenity, a generous sun buttered the dappled sea. On the islands grass grew lushly. Wildflowers leapt on the color-starved eye.And one day the islander’s nape itched. He turned to see a flock of arctic terns casually tracking them under a gorgeous, white-plumed sky. As the day progressed the terns came drifting high overhead, slowly but surely taking the lead.The Aleut squinted against the sun. He’d never known these birds to pursue a westerly migratory pattern—the terns were distributing themselves into a rough wedge shape, much like geese on the wing.For a while he let the flock be his guide. Then, to test his stars, he cunningly steered his canoe north. At once the wedge disintegrated. Not until he’d lowered his eyes and pulled purposefully to the west did the disrupted pattern reassert itself. He peered up timidly. The wedge was now in the shape of a perfect arrowhead.Just so were the fates of mariners and aviators inextricably entwined. At night, once the Aleut had landed his canoe on the nearest pearl, the terns would light in a quiet circle and remain until sunrise. As the Aleut and Hero took to sea, the flock would quickly form that same authoritative pattern.In time the Aleut paddled his companion clear to the westernmost islands of the Aleutian chain. His people had dwelt, even here, a thousand years and more, but no contemporary islander knew for certain what lay beyond. Legend told of an enormous land mass forever gripped by cold, where a cruel people waylaid innocent seafarers for barbaric sacrificial rites.So here the islander paused. But even as he vacillated he noticed the terns were veering south.If the Aleut had been able to curse aloud he would have been vociferous. He was being compelled to follow an even less desirable course—that of the unknown open ocean. Now he looked upon his passenger’s hunched back not with fear but with loathing. He took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and defiantly continued west. The wedge broke up immediately. The terns dive-bombed the canoe, whirled around the windmilling Aleut, tore skyward and hovered determinedly. Something huge broke surface behind them, but the Aleut was way too frayed to turn. He dropped his head, a beaten man, and began paddling south. Little by little the birds returned to formation.The tiny canoe had no business going up against the mighty Pacific. It would soon have been swallowed and smashed, had not the terns veered in close formation whenever the distant sea appeared too rough. Once he’d lost his bearings the Aleut religiously followed their serpentine course.The days began to warm.Now the sea’s bounty all but leapt in the canoe.It seemed the Aleut was forever catching the finest currents, practically sliding down a corridor entirely free of peril. In this manner he was able to safely navigate waters no such craft had mastered before.They were proceeding south by southwest, awed children of a plenteous, generous sea. The going became easier by the day, the ocean heavier with cod.Nights the Aleut drifted comfortably, but a lifetime of wariness made him wake off and on. He’d slowly rise to find Hero sitting quietly under the stars, and soon he’d see, pallid in moonlight, a large body neatly pleating the ocean’s surface. The shape would precede them a while, only to vanish without a ripple.All this strangeness kept the Aleut’s heart in a whirl, though he took pains to maintain his poise.To allay his fear he kept a flat black stone planted squarely between them. It was his oldest treasure; an oddity he’d taken off the body of a mauled Tlingit woman when he was a child. Who she was, and how she’d come by the stone, were mysteries far beyond him, for no such piece had ever been known to Aleut or Inuk.The stone was smooth and had been worked perfectly round. Bright yellow specks were scattered about its dull black face.Long ago someone had etched a quaint and clumsy rune on that flat black surface—it was the crude, universal symbol for sun: a broad circle surrounded by several rays. When the stone was rubbed against a pelt it possessed the curious property of growing quite warm and bright in the rune’s grooves, while the surface remained cool and dull.This stone, both friend and overlord, had always “spoken to him”. It caused him to become restless when it was time to move on, and allowed him to relax when a destination had been reached. In this way he’d come to the familiar islet and discovered the unconscious little man. Just so: the stone, he was sure, was responsible for making him “feel bad” as he watched the stranger shiver, and “feel better” once he’d built him a life-saving fire from the small pile of tinder he’d found nearby.By now, however, the Aleut was wholly disenchanted with his stone, and deeply regretted having done its mysterious bidding. Never before had he been so long from sight of land, and never before had he felt so very, very small. The unimagined immensity of the Pacific was really starting to get to him when, after all their while at sea, a gray, seductive haze broke the horizon. They had reached another chain of islands, an Asian chain, the dark and smoky Kurils. Here a cold current kept the climate cool and foggy, and the chill, along with the prevalence of otter and seal, made him feel almost at home.But this place gave him the creeps; he was a stranger, a trespasser somewhere sacred. There was a looming quality to the island mountains that made him extraordinarily aware of his transience, his pettiness, his puniness. He grew more and more cautious, sure their progress was being monitored—he could have sworn he saw wraiths in the trees, and wolves padding warily in the brush. The big islands looked on breathlessly. All along the rocky cliffs, thousands of auks and puffins followed the canoe in dead silence, their heads turning simultaneously, their countless tiny eyes peering redly through the fog. As the weeks passed, the Aleut’s anxiety was manifested in tics and sighs, and he’d cringe each time the crimson sun sank behind those black volcanic summits. In his imagination the mountains would rise right out of the sea, as though to pluck him. But the islands, in all their dignity, would always refuse to acknowledge so meek a stranger, and return their eyes to sea. The Aleut would hang his head, and timidly paddle by.Then for days and days he pulled his weary canoe west—through a strait parting two mighty islands not part of the chain, and thence across a sea that was a warm, enticing bath. Spring had come to the East Asian coastal waters, and the Ainu, alone and in groups, were venturing deeper in search of increasing bounty. The Aleut, absorbed in his thoughts of sweet climate and bitter fate, was unaware they’d been spotted.This first meeting between strangers of different worlds was a brief and awkward one. A lone Ainu fisherman, seeing the Aleut come paddling out of the unknown, dropped his net and turned to stone. The Aleut, for his part, instinctively froze with his body turned half-away to make the leanest target possible. Their stares locked. Never had the Aleut seen a face so heavily bearded, and never hair so fair. The Ainu began banging on his bronze catch pail. Other fishers soon appeared from the north and south, effectively cutting off the canoe. The Aleut caressed his stone and looked to the sky. The wedge had vanished. He put down his head and paddled for all he was worth.With the word out, uncountable fishing craft appeared out of the blue and broke into hot pursuit, their pilots determined to force the canoe ashore.Suddenly they were in sight of land, and the sea was absolutely riddled with watercraft. A train of small boats cast off from the mainland, even as a posse of two-man coracle-like tubs began to surround the battered skin canoe, their inhabitants calling back and forth in astonishment at the sight of these dark, savage newcomers. But the pursuing little coastal men, banging excitedly on the sides of their boats, were not Ainu. They had very straight black hair, prominent cheekbones, and strangely slanted eyes. And their speech, oddly marvelous as it was, was a rapid series of coos, chirps, and barks. Their boats formed a tight semi-circle around the canoe, forcing the Aleut to approach the mainland. The little men banged their boats maniacally, with more joining in as the canoe neared shore.A bit farther south was a natural harbor swarming with fishing vessels of every description. As the canoe was forced into this harbor, people along the rocky coast began banging whatever they could get their hands on, until the air was filled with their lunatic percussion.Tiny brown men came running along a soft yellow cliff overlooking the harbor, gesturing wildly. The canoe was squeezed between a chain of tubs and the shore, and, as it slowed, the tempo and ferocity of the banging decreased accordingly. When the canoe came to a halt the banging and shouting stopped. Hero creaked to his feet. The first North American to set foot on Asian soil stepped out shakily.There followed the profoundest silence imaginable.A second later it was as if a dam had burst.Hundreds of hysterical, yammering voices erupted from hundreds of hysterical, clinging men and women. Hero was spun around, jostled about, handed along. He stared into their astounded, pinched little faces, and the sun, pulsing between their heads as he was turned, repeatedly stabbed his eyes. There came an excited outburst and frantic splashing which could only have been the Aleut’s violent demise, and then Hero was somehow limping alongside a primitive fishing village, blindly following a narrow dirt path that hugged the yellow cliff’s base. The warm spring sun caught the dust as he shambled. He rounded a bend and stopped.Half a dozen children stood in his way, too fascinated to run. A chatter and scuffle rose behind him. He looked back to see that he was now in the midst of a small crowd of these children, and that more were running up with cries of amazement.A stone struck his shoulder. As Hero turned another glanced off his chest.A moment later he was being pelted from all sides, and the giggles and gasps had become something wildly unreal. He dropped to his knees in a hail of hurled rocks, covered his head with his arms, and slithered up the path on his belly.A new voice broke in; an older, authoritative voice.The children scampered off squealing.Hero, shaken to his feet, found himself face to face with a diminutive, shouting, incomprehensible old man. The old man threw his arm around Hero’s waist and, jabbering all the while, led him to a secondary path cut into the cliff’s face. This path sloped gently upward over the waves. Together they picked their way to a place maybe halfway up, where the cliff’s face was honeycombed with natural alcoves and dug-out caves. Most of these spaces were used as one-man shelters; a few, cut deeper in the earth, as family hives. Strange gabbing people slid out of these holes like worms, reaching, but the little old man, who was evidently a little old man of some stature, embraced his find possessively and shouted them back inside.The path narrowed as they climbed.At its summit spread the upscale end of the neighborhood. Hero was led to a hovel nestled amid dozens of similar hovels, all scattered around a dainty stream wending between patches of stunted vegetation.The old man’s place was basically a one-room hut fashioned of earth and salvaged boat hulls, with a slender side-yard surrounded by dry, dusty hedges. But inside it was clean and tidy, with rice paper partitioning and, built into the far earthen wall, a miniature stone fireplace. The old man sat his guest in the exact center of the room. There he fed him scraps from his bowl, using long sticks to pluck out bits of fish and clumps of tiny, starchy white pellets.He studied the brute closely, watched him chew, walked round and round him. He poked here. He pinched there.And that night he lit a fire on his crushed-shell hearth.Hero curled up on a mat where the gossip of flames could reach him. Nearby, at his delicate wicker table, the old man sat in semi-darkness, illuminated only from the waist down.But his eyes were alive. They spat and darted as they reflected the fire’s light, and, when at last they’d begun to sputter, his scratchy little voice came pattering out of the dark, muttering something vile and oddly modulated, sometimes in a whisper, sometimes in a gathering snarl.Hero feigned slumber, unable to ignore those paired ominous flashes. Still, the room was cozy, and the fire warm, and the play of light and shadow kicked sleep in his eyes.

In the morning he woke in the old man’s side-yard, his head pounding, a rusty iron clamp securely fastened around his neck. This clamp was attached to the outermost link of a crude three-foot chain, and the link at the other end to a long stake driven into eight inches of solid rock. The chain and stake, like the clamp, were hammered of local iron. The clamp was too tight for comfortable swallowing, the chain too short to make standing possible. Hero could, however, spread out on his chest and stretch an arm to a low row of hedges. By parting the tangled undergrowth he had a limited view of the fishing village below, and of the harbor beyond. As the days passed he was able to tweak himself a view-space discernible only from his peculiar vantage. He accomplished this by gently breaking small branches strategically, then guiding their interrupted growth with the utmost tenderness. It was his secret garden.He had no memory—none whatsoever—of being staked here. Obviously the old man hadn’t set this up overnight. Hero’s mind prodded timidly…how many others had been chained to this spot, and why?But over the subsequent weeks and months he went beyond caring. Each day was the same: just after dawn the old man would storm into the tiny side-yard swinging his reed whip wildly. The lashings were savage and unremitting. The old man, except for his eyes, would be mute. Only his whip need speak. And the snap of his reed had but one message: when you see this whip you go down, and you go down immediately.The naked savage, scarred head to foot, learned to go prostrate on the moment. Even so, the old man couldn’t resist the temptation to indulge in the occasional good old, all-out thrashing. And after each session he would toss the prisoner a vile mess of dead fish and rotting leftovers.Hero lived like this for many months, lost in a confused world of pain and anticipation. Perversely, he came to look forward to the bite of that whip, for, whether he flogged him in passion or just for sport, the old man was always sure to make it personal. It seemed their relationship might go on forever.But one day there was a great commotion in the sleepy little fishing village. Hero parted the leaves and beheld a small train of oblong coaches at rest near the harbor. Large oxen yoked in pairs lolled between the carriages, immune to the clamor around them. There were dark shaggy horses and colorfully dressed Bactrian camels. The horses and camels were tethered in the rear, but were occasionally paraded around the carriages by little men wielding long painted bamboo poles. The whole affair was exotic and mesmerizing, eccentric and profane. Hero watched all day in amazement, infected by the hubbub, though he was totally mystified by the crowd’s fascination on the carriages’ far side.And late that afternoon he saw the old man come walking out of that crowd, talking heatedly with another man. The stranger was shorter and broader than the old man, with long stringy hair and long stringy mustaches. He saw them climbing the path, saw them crawl inside a hole lashing furiously. They were lost from view for a minute, then popped up big as life. Hero glowed and curled up eagerly as they approached.The old man and stranger came into the narrow side-yard still arguing. The old man grabbed Hero by the hair and twisted until he was facing the newcomer.The stranger had oily, porous skin, and a round but grave countenance. His highly slanted eyes were bright and restless. He studied Hero’s mutilated face with keen interest before borrowing the old man’s reed. When Hero scraped at his feet he grunted and returned the reed.The stranger pulled out something shiny and hefted it in his hand. He then raised his other hand while considering Hero, as though weighing him too. The old man’s eyes glinted, and for an instant his expression became grotesquely servile. The stranger and old man, facing, nodded curtly in unison. The stranger dropped the shiny thing onto the old man’s itching palm. The old man whipped Hero frantically before taking a small ax to the chain. A few hard blows split a link, the broken link was bent back by the tool’s shaft, and the prisoner was at last released.The old man handed the stranger a short hempen rope. The stranger bowed deeply. He then tied an end of the rope through one of the remaining links and began dragging Hero along. Hero’s hands sought the old man, who kicked and cursed him all the way to the path. The three stumbled single-file to the bottom. The old man waved his arms and shouted hysterically, trotting behind until he ran out of breath. But he got in a final kick and, before he came to a gasping halt, managed to lash Hero once for old time’s sake, and to spit on him twice for luck.

There were five carriages; a long one in the center hitched to four oxen, and two smaller coaches in the front and rear with a pair of oxen on each. The carriages were old and battered, built of splitting wood slats and rusted iron braces. Various hides, spare wheels, and a hundred odds and ends were tied to the sides and roofs. Hero’s new master, using him as a ram, shoved him through the crowd to the long carriage. He hauled him up the single wood step and watched the crowd’s reaction. Children hid behind mothers, mothers hissed and jeered, men spat in that smashed, disgusting face.Satisfied, Hero’s master twisted the rope tighter and dragged him through the hide flap that served as the carriage’s rear wall.A strange ruckus began at their entrance.Inside the carriage were bulky shapes and quirky movements, yet the immediate and overwhelming impression was one of unbelievable stench. Hero, instantly covered with flies, was kicked and shoved down a foot-wide aisle. The carriage’s walls were riddled with black flecks of old dried blood, the floor coated with standing *****, a variety of small carcasses, and some clinging, indefinable slime. But the living contents of this hell were so horrifying, and so unexpected, that Hero at once dropped to his knees. Observing this, master grabbed a whip off the wall and lashed him along the floor.A number of bamboo cages lined either side of the carriage, each four feet high, four feet wide, and three feet deep. In the first cage to their left, a quadruple amputee dangled in a leather harness in a cloud of flies, jealously gnawing a chicken carcass balanced on his belly. The second cage held a man who had been burned over ninety per cent of his body, and the third a middle-aged woman with no eyes or tongue, her head shaved. The next cage housed a fully grown black leopard, its bright eyes fixed on the horrified newcomer. Then an empty cage, and finally a cage containing a demented man whose long yellow nails were busily raking a face deeply scarred and bleeding.The first cage against the opposite wall held two girls rolling in their own excrement. Siamese twins unable to part, they had developed a unique method of locomotion, and now executed a three-quarters cartwheel in Hero’s direction, their mangled, severely bitten hands attempting to reach him through the bars. In the cage next to theirs a naked dwarf glowered menacingly, his eyes following coldly as Hero’s master shoved him down the narrow aisle, occasionally pausing to lash a cage. The hissing and howling increased as each prisoner beheld the new neighbor.The third cage held an intensely sick adult Bornean sun bear, so confined it was entirely unable to move. Its hide was a patchwork of scraggly fur and grayish skin, glistening with odd eruptions. It rolled its sunken eyes in Hero’s direction, its muzzle twitching feebly.The next cage contained a man who was frightfully diseased. Broad fungal patches covered his face and limbs, terminating in waxy folds that dangled like a rooster’s wattles. Welling sores spotted his chest and back. His eyes were bugged and sallow; his lower lip drooped below his chin. He barked wetly at Hero’s passing legs.The second-to-last cage housed a rare, completely hairless Chinese albino, and the last cage a very tall, skeletal woman. The albino snapped at Hero while repeatedly banging his head against the cage. The woman hissed and coiled like a snake, her spine arching amazingly.Master hauled Hero to the empty cage on his left, swung its door open with his foot, and forced him to his knees by pushing down with all his weight. He kicked and punched until Hero had been squeezed inside, then shut and secured the wide bamboo door.Master inched his way back down the carriage, hammering the **** of his whip on each cage as he passed. There was a glimpse of daylight as he lifted the flap.Once he’d departed, the carriage grew eerily silent.Hero cautiously turned his head. Less than a foot away, the black leopard was frozen in place, one paw waving hypnotically in his face. The beast’s fangs were bared, its ears straight back, its eyes glistening. Hero turned ever so slowly, until he was looking into the eyes of the demented man in the final cage. The man cocked his head quizzically. A second later he was screaming his lungs out in a bizarre downward spiral.At once the carriage erupted. The freaks shrieked and scrabbled, the leopard spun in place. Directly across the aisle, the albino hurled himself against the bars of his cage. He batted his face with his fists, threw back his head, and just howled and howled and howled. The snake woman curled even tighter, her long scrawny legs entwined behind her head.Hero sat with breath held, absolutely silent, absolutely motionless. He very, very slowly closed his eyes.

Later that night the flap was flung high. The menagerie came alive as master, weirdly illuminated by moonlight, slowly made his way down the aisle carrying a skin sack oozing blood. He stopped at each cage to toss in a dying chicken and a handful of smelt.When he reached Hero’s cage he looked down thoughtfully.He extracted a quivering chicken and held it above the cage so that blood dripped on the brute’s deeply pleated forehead. Hero lowered his eyes. Master’s face darkened. He smashed the bird against the cage, over and over, a vein throbbing in his temple. Finally he hissed and displayed the limp chicken high over the albino’s head. The albino yelped and kicked, thrusting his hand up between the bars and jerking it back to lick away the blood rolling down his forearm.Master eyed Hero coldly before pointedly dropping the chicken into the albino’s searching hands.Master hissed again. He slowly made his way out.Soon there was a commotion outside. The carriage rocked a bit before settling. Hero, turning in his cage to peek through a rift in the wood, saw horses being urged forward. He could hear men shouting. The carriage rocked again. He looked up and saw the gibbous moon suspended in mist. For just a second something wedge-shaped cut across its soft white face.But then the oxen were grunting, the wheels had been freed, and the horses drawn abreast. Master’s lash spat left and right, and the show proceeded…west.

MA­STER

She was very round and very small, with very short, very shaggy black hair. Her arms bore the scars of numerous bites from beast and man, and around her neck ran long wheals from a particularly savage owner. Hero, having spent the better part of the morning watching master storm in and out of a strange screaming house, now watched him drag the little round woman through the dirt. For a while he listened to the song of his master’s lash, waiting for the woman to break. But there was never a whimper.It had been a difficult transaction for master, and an altogether difficult morning. For hours he’d paced up and down the main carriage, alternately murmuring affectionately into, and lashing at, each cage he visited. The sun bear, long dead and stuffed, had been taken outside for barter. It had soon been returned.Master had lingered over Hero’s cage for a good while, staring critically. He’d begun shouting, and three of his men had burst in through the flap, unlatched the demented man’s cage, and dragged him out by the feet for trade, master personally stomping on his torn and groping hands.And now master was kicking and shoving the little woman down the aisle as his men restrained her by the hair and throat. Upon master’s command these men stripped her naked and commenced pinching and slapping while making threatening faces and mocking noises. The freaks sat right up in their cages.The woman looked as though she’d fainted: her arms were lax, her eyes rolled up. Her whole face seemed to purse, and her body, head to toe, began to run blue. Her fingers quivered, arched, and clawed—the woman was self-asphyxiating. Master fairly leaped with delight while the cages rocked around him. He had the men slap her awake. Once she was fully conscious they stuffed her into the demented man’s old cage next to Hero’s.Master then looked in eagerly, one to the other, his hands balled into fists. The woman buried her odd round face in her forearms as she squeezed herself into her cage’s deepest corner. Hero gazed indifferently and went back to his peephole.Master exploded. He smacked and kicked the cages over and over, swore up and down, ran the shaft of his whip back and forth against the heavy bamboo bars. Eventually he calmed somewhat. He stared coldly at Hero, made a ***** smile, and spat right in his eyes. A tense minute passed. Master slowly made his way outside.Hero automatically relaxed. Across the aisle the albino ****** his face between his cage’s bars to sniff the newcomer. The leopard, bobbing rhythmically, emitted a high-pitched squeal that gradually descended to a steadily throbbing growl.Hero looked the stranger over. Once she’d lowered her hands he saw that her eyes were crossed, her jaw slack, her face as round as the full moon. He looked closer. There were scars all over her throat and arms: plainly, the small round woman had been treated very badly. Hero instinctively slid a foot between the bars; the woman cried out and scrunched even deeper. Across the aisle the albino quickly extended an arm. Without knowing why, Hero turned on him. The albino flinched, his eyes tearing into Hero’s. A second later he was stamping his feet and grinning wildly. Hero went back to his peephole.Next morning master and two of his men dismantled the bamboo walls separating Hero’s and the woman’s cages. They bound the frames with broad leather bands, making a single cage of the two.A common door was fashioned and secured. Master used his broad blade to shear away Hero’s rags. The men hunched around the long cage expectantly.The naked couple backed away. Master was instantly exasperated—he shouted, lashed furiously, stamped and screamed, jabbed a broken shaft between the bars with malevolent intent, whirled and hurled the shaft at nothing. The carriage’s inmates went out of their minds. At master’s bellowed command a man scurried outside, returning with a long rope of woven leather strands. Master opened the cage and, applying all his weight, pinned Hero and his new mate in an awkward embrace while his men tied them together.Again master and his men bent over the long cage to watch.When Hero realized his predicament he made a desperate attempt to reach his peephole.The men, misreading his struggles, babbled and cheered, but master threw up his hands. He then, through gesture, ordered his men to drape a number of hides over the long cage. Once these hides were in place he very quietly bent to one knee and placed an ear against the cage. After a while he cursed and rose to his feet. He shook the cage and stormed out, whipping and kicking the howling inmates.In the semi-darkness the man and woman quit fighting their bonds.A muffled patter began on the hide-covered roof.Rain, as always, had a calming effect on the carriage’s occupants, causing the freaks and beasts to slip, one by one, into lethargy or slumber. Under such a spell, the attainment of master’s goal was inevitable.It was a coupling both innocent and vile, without passion or celebration. Occasionally the freaks would surface, register their excitement by shrieking, shaking their cages, or otherwise clamoring…but very quickly the air would stifle them, weighing their heads and confusing their impulses. The atmosphere grew heavier by the minute. And, when night rolled over the carriages, the rain came down in sheets.

Leaning ******* the woman’s cage, master slipped his gnarly hand between the bars and slowly rubbed her belly in a counter-clockwise motion, his sinister features soft in the candle’s light. And he told, in nonsensical cooing whispers, of a lovingly secure and impossibly prosperous future.How large and promising that belly had become! And how wise was he, the cunning and aggressive master, in his far-reaching business decisions. He turned his affection to the motionless gaping brute; stroked the battlefield of its face, tossed in another lizard. Master rubbed his palms together. From now on it was extra lizards daily, for both the woman and her mate. He remarked, with only passing interest, his star player’s continuing indifference. They didn’t know each other, didn’t need each other.There’d been months of shows on the road now, broken only recently by this sensible rejoining of the mates at conception.Hero’s horrible disfigurement was unquestionably top draw; he was a guaranteed crowd pleaser at every stop. So now master looked him straight in the eyes and smiled. He held the reeking candle high. The carriage was absolutely silent. Master smiled again, rose to his feet, tiptoed away.Hero watched him retreat until the flap had fallen. He returned to his peephole, saw master round the rear of the carriage and slowly crunch by. For a time he could see nothing but the half-shapes of junipers bathed in starlight. There was a tentative movement to his right and a large shape came to obstruct his view.The horse stood for a minute in profile. It slowly brought its head to rest against the carriage, applying its eye to the peephole. Hero froze. The two remained fixed, eyeball to eyeball, while a breeze played odd tunes on the outer wall’s hanging paraphernalia. The horse’s big dark eye rolled nervously. A long moment passed. Slowly the horse backed off. It stood uncertainly for a while, staring at the peephole. Then it quietly moved away.

Master kicked the cages one by one, left hand and right, as he slowly made his way down the aisle. Into each cage he delivered a personalized warning in passing—a growl, a hiss, a bark—but he was quickly losing control. Animal electricity hopscotched the carriage, cage to cage, ceiling to floor, front to rear and back again. Master froze. Much more of this excitement, he feared, could seriously agitate the woman—with grave consequences for master.She was splayed on her back, in labor’s throes, her ankles and wrists bound to the long cage. Hero had been removed to give her room, and now sat hunched atop the snake woman’s cage, two men holding him by the throat and legs.Master gnashed and snarled, listening to the woman scream, watching her stupid round head bounce up and down and back and forth. He knew it! He’d been suckered, hoodwinked, scammed—ripped off like a common rube. The woman was too ******* to handle even something as natural as childbirth. Still…it was too late to second-guess himself—all these months he’d been patient—he’d been supportive and vigilant and now he would not be denied. He flogged one of the men to alleviate his tension.The blue lady was very slowly, very dramatically arching her spine. Master wiped the sweat from his eyes. When the bars were pleating her big round belly, her shoulders began drumming on the straw-strewn floor.Master screamed one very colorful expletive.A razor silence came over the carriage. Not a body moved or breathed.At last two men tiptoed around their purpling master and leaned into the cage. One obediently ****** a foot between the bars. He pushed ******* her right knee while using a hand to grip the left knee, spreading her legs wide. The other man drew a broad leather strap between her teeth. After lifting the woman’s head he pulled the strap behind her neck, knotted it to make a gag, and yanked a skin sack over her face. He looked up anxiously. Master licked his lips and nodded. The man made a fist and frantically punched the woman’s face until her muffled screams ceased. She moaned gently throughout her contractions.Master genuflected, brought a spitting candle in tight, and took a deep breath. As he raised his hand the candle’s light bounced off his knife’s chipped and scored eleven-inch blade. Master swore and reached down carefully. He flicked his wrist twice and the menagerie went mad.

The child was a tremendous disappointment.Master had eagerly anticipated an infant ******* and deformed; something embracing the best qualities of its parents. He had even designed a special cage that could be expanded by degrees as the spawn developed. There also remained the tantalizing option of a family display, though such an undertaking would require the eventual construction of a structure even larger than the cage its parents now shared. Master anguished over the logistics, knowing it would break his heart to have to cut one of his jewels’ throats just to make room for a growing child. Nights he would slowly pace the carriage with all the possessiveness of a jealous suitor, one hand maneuvering a sputtering candle, the other tenderly rapping his whip’s **** against each visited cage.But the boy was a flawless specimen; a beautiful, undemanding baby. From the moment master angrily tossed the placenta he felt cheated, even betrayed. He grimaced as it peaceably took to its mother’s breast, despite the surrounding horrors. Master hated it, immediately and entirely. The ****** thing was so docile it was almost charming. He drew his knife and was just reaching down, when an overwhelming sense of dread shook him like a rat in the jaws of a mastiff. Sweat poured down his squat, pig-tailed nape. He knew he would live to regret it, but decided to not cut the child’s throat right away. It was the oddest feeling. His knife hand had trembled for the first time in his life, and he had found himself momentarily contemplating right and wrong at the outset of a perfectly simple and commonplace procedure. That was it, then. His business instincts were letting him know there was a good, albeit unknowable, reason to let the sweet baby live. Master left the carriage anxiously, muttering in his ambivalence.The boy grew to embody his worst expectations. Not only was it a poorly oriented child, clinging to its father rather than its master almost from the moment of weaning, but it soon proved a lousy draw with the patrons. Those who paid to view the child dangling in its special cage inevitably departed unsatisfied, some vocalizing, strangely, an acute sense of shame. So once again master entered the carriage with his knife hand steady, and once again he exited trembling, his heart in his throat and his soul in a whirl. He whipped the dwarf savagely before leaving. What place conscience in the mind of a businessman?Soon as the boy could walk, master put him to work fetching and feeding. But the brat was slothful in his chores, preferring to hang around his family’s cage while staring wistfully at his father. For their part, the parents were wholly disinterested. Master would fume while Hero gazed for hours out his peephole—even as the mother lolled, perpetually ill. Sometimes that accursed woman’s condition riled poor master to no end. She could teeter at death’s door for months at a time, her body changing hues to the fascination of customers, only to bounce back with a hardiness that was of interest to no one. But at the peak of her performances the blue lady could really hold a crowd. Master produced an entire outdoors extravaganza around her: within concentric rings of raging torches his men would slowly strip her naked before wild audiences, then allow the dwarf and albino to take her while the leopard strained against a gaily festooned chain. Master circulated his crew through the crowds to encourage his patrons’ cult-like behavior of breath-holding and fainting. No getting around it: the customers were crazy about her—village to village, master’s Bactrian vanguard’s colorful robes shouted her approaching fame. And Hero’s popularity continued to soar. Many were the nights when master, pacing the perimeter, wondered just what devilry could have produced the lovely boy.Overall, Hero remained his master’s favorite conceit and hottest property. Part of the little brute’s appeal was, of course, his exoticness. And certainly the ugliness arising from his deformity was compelling…but there was a detachedness about him that fascinated every soul with a fistful of copper cash coins. Whether they ****** him, cudgeled him, or spat in his face, he remained unflappable, staring only at the aching sky. Though many would leave uneasy, master noted with deep satisfaction that they almost invariably returned.The boy soon evinced an amazing affinity for animals. No matter how agitated an ox or horse became, the child could pacify it with one hand on a lowered brow. This was a source of endless fascination for the crew. Wagers were made. The boy was pitted against oxen whipped to a frenzy. But they would not harm him; they would rather go prostrate and take the lash. Master tried to work this knack into a viable act, but his patrons just weren’t buying. They wanted freaks.When the lad was a mere five years old, master had him trained in the peripheral art of the pickpocket. The boy worked well alone, and had all the makings of a fine little flimflam artist. Master sighed, his chronic nightmares a thing of the past. As ever, his business instincts were guiding him well.Then late one afternoon he found the boy squatting outside his parents’ cage. The boy had done the unthinkable: he had deposited his day’s pickings at the feet of his father instead of bringing the ***** to master. Master flew into a rage and raised his whip to give the little traitor the lashing he deserved. But before he could deliver a single stroke his other hand shot to his chest and he staggered back against the albino’s cage. He blinked down at the boy, who regarded him steadily while scooping the plunder into a little pile.From that day on the boy placed whatever he could get his hands on at his father’s feet. As time passed he became ever more adroit at thievery, growing into a youngster both admired and despised by master and his crew; admired because theft was a cinch for him, despised because they were all that much lighter in their possessions.Now, for eleven long years the strange little train had bounced along, sometimes camping outside villages for months, occasionally pausing on connecting roads. The show traversed the heart of Manchuria, skirted the Gobi in the north, and so eventually crossed almost the entire width of Mongolia before proceeding north to the confluence of the rivers Yenisey and Ob’. Much silver and copper had come to master’s coffer, much fame to his name, but he now sat looking over a vast, unmapped Siberian wilderness. The mostly nomadic characters they’d been encountering spoke in tongues unfamiliar even to his personal valet-translator-accountant, and the tone of these nomads had been unmistakably hostile.Master huddled surlily under a canopy of sopping hides. Night was falling hard during a merciless rain, the wind was picking up, and his supplies coach was bogged in a growing sea of mud. At that moment he accepted the whole end-of-the-line concept, and knew he wasn’t going anywhere but back. And when he got back he was going to shine! He jumped from the coach.The earth took his weight for a heartbeat—and he was up to his chin in muck, splashing about on his hands and knees, sliding forward on his palms and toes. He did a belly flop into a rain-filled depression and churned to his feet with the devil in his eyes. Wallowing in mud and bile, master stomped to the supplies coach and kicked wildly at the stuck rear wheels.Somewhere between kicks he lost it completely.Master broke for his whip. One minute he was blindly lashing his men, the next he’d succumbed to a mindless ferocity. He thrashed about like a berserker; whipping the beasts, the coach, the very night. His men were scarcely able to move in all that mud, but their dread of his savagery kept them hopping. They gathered as one and shoved the coach recklessly; slipping, splashing, shouting. A minute later, three lay splayed underfoot, but the mired wheel had been freed.Throughout all this the oxen had swayed nervously, while the horses softly tramped their hooves in place. Master had his men turn the oxen about until the rickety train was pointing dead east. He checked the hitches and personally applied the lash. The oxen didn’t budge. Master swore and wiped the rain from his eyes. He had the horses hitched ahead of the oxen, but they were even less obliging. Master flew into a spectacular rage. His men, fearing for their lives, ran liberally with the lash.The swaying of oxen picked up until the entire train of carriages was rocking. Yet the oxen could not, would not be compelled, under any amount of prodding, to take an eastward step. Master looked around in exasperation.The night had gone insane.Horses were fighting hitches, oxen walking on fire.Master cursed the rain and mud and lashed all the harder. His men, seeking to please, whipped maniacally until the horses and both lead oxen broke their hitches and bolted west. The men immediately embraced the rear oxen, but the hitches shattered and the beasts stormed off. The remaining horses blew it, kicking at everything and nothing.Inside the long carriage all was chaos. The albino was neighing and screaming, the aged leopard spinning in its cage. Hero stared out his peephole, amazed at the blur of figures stumbling by in the rain.A pair of clopping blows rattled the opposite wall. Three slats cracked. A tremendous impact, and a huge section collapsed. A thrashing, hysterical mare burst through the breach in a veil of rain.The horse went mad, killing the albino and snake woman in a flurry of hooves. She fell ******* the near wall, crushing the cages. The leopard shot into the air like a rocket, slashed at the mare’s throat and vanished in the rain. The horse reared above the family cage. She was just coming down in a wheeling storm of hooves when something made her freeze. Her stare locked with Hero’s, and a second later her eyes were rolling in their sockets. The mare kicked crazily and came down ******* her left flank, smashing the long cage’s side. She whirled upright and leaped outside.For a tense minute the family sat in the rubble, rain bombarding their eyes. Nothing in their years of captivity had prepared them for such a situation. But by the end of that minute the son had taken full command. He rolled onto his back, braced himself, and kicked his parents across the aisle, through the remnants of the opposing cage, and out of the carriage. They all fell about in the mud and rain. To the west, the mare stared back strangely as she splashed into the night. The boy wedged himself between his parents, threw his arms around them, and pushed with all his might. Their bodies found a common center of gravity. Fumbling drunkenly, the family staggered through the rain in the wake of the mare.

The boy was the natural leader.Master’s innocent-looking little ex-student could quickly assess and exploit almost any situation. He did the foraging and the figuring, slept with one eye open and one fist ready. He got what he wanted by charm or by stealth, slipping off at nightfall, returning at daybreak with small slaughtered animals and chunks of dark peasant bread. He also pilfered any bauble or oddity he could get his paws on, to be placed reverently at his father’s mangled feet. Breadwinner and watchdog, he faithfully held the family together; a nuclear son. He sewed hardy feather-lined cloaks of reindeer hide, and turned a cache of marmot pelts into a kind of side-slung backpack. He was doting nurse during his mother’s episodes, and unbending apportioner of calories in lean times. Dauntless when it meant crossing mighty rivers, relentless when it came to finding mountain passes. But the endless marching, the unreliable diet, and the countless predators made the three wanderers lean, haggard moving targets. There were times when the little lamp of family was all but extinguished, and long stands in places that seemed absolutely impassable. Still, the boy would work things out. He would stoop to any level to feed Hero, and for a stranger to threaten his father was to summon a psychotic, unyielding monster. He was both spear and shield.The toughest job of all was maintaining a tight unit, meaning he was forced to become a hard-nosed ******* whenever his father was ready to wander off, which always seemed to be whenever the mother was hurting most. She’d become a tremendous impediment to Hero’s compulsion, and therefore her son’s chief nemesis. It wasn’t a big-picture concern anyway; the writing was on the wall. The blue lady’s attacks were increasing spectacularly on the steppe; her world had always been an enclosure of some kind, and the great horizon was proving just too much. Perhaps these intense affairs served as links to Hero’s suppressed memories, for at the onset of each attack he’d turn and hike, and then only exhaustion could curb him. The boy would press his mother on, dragging, shoving, and smacking—he could be mean when necessary, and though circumstances had made him the nucleus, their worlds unquestionably revolved around Hero. Where he sat, they sat. When he rose, they did the same. In this manner they marched for years across the vast steppes, single-file—father, mother, and son, respectively—unmolested, lacking possessions, always following the sun. Long before they could be measured they had drifted into obscurity.The woman’s end came quickly and dramatically, in a rocky little depression on a half-frozen field. One moment she was responsive to her son’s prompts, the next she was flat on her back, her eyelids fluttering. That night she leapt from fever to chill, from alertness to stupor. The boy, squatting beside their campfire, watched her face and hands run cadaver-blue to fish belly-pale and back again. While he was staring her eyes popped open and her hands came scrabbling. He sweated through the clawing embrace until he could bear it no longer. He oozed out and ran down to fetch his father.When they got back Hero watched incuriously for a while. His mate’s face was scrunched up and her skin the color of sapphires. She wasn’t breathing.His gaze became glassy, his eyes returned to the night. As he rose the boy immediately grabbed an arm. Neither moved for minutes. When the boy at last relinquished, his father casually stumbled off.Strange things were going on in Hero’s world. Some days he would notice how animals regarded him oddly, in a manner that seemed almost personal. He found, for instance, that particular creatures were recognizable even over great distances. A number of times he would sit with one in a stare-down, waiting patiently, until the animal’s natural disposition caused it to bolt. Though the meaning of these encounters was way over his head, he would watch, and he would listen.In time he noticed an increasing skittishness in some of these familiar creatures. Something had them spooked. He then observed a number of lean gray wolves moving in and out of the picture with an air of complete indifference: these wolves weren’t hunting; they were loitering—lounging in the grass, lackadaisically padding to the rear, filing by slowly in the distance. Once in a while a lounger would raise its head, yawn cavernously, and drop back out of sight. So unobtrusive was their behavior that even Hero’s ever-vigilant son began to take them for granted. They paused where the family paused, and halted whenever the woman broke down. Perfectly camouflaged by the gray boulders and dire sky, they were completely forgotten in the drama of her passing.There were other, far subtler events existing for Hero’s senses alone. He could perceive patterns in everything around him; in the manner vegetation gave way wherever his heart was leading, in the way so many animals appeared to be not merely mirroring, but making his course. And wind, rain, running water: these phenomena had voices. Yet not for everybody. No one—not his mate, not his son, not another soul on the planet could hear this call, for they were all of a sort. They were static, they were temporal. Hero couldn’t have cared less about the lives of his family, or about the mundane goings-on in the encampments and small tribes they skirted. Such beings lived in a world that was defined by the moment. They shouted, they banged, they clamored.But west—west was music.For his boy, once again watching Hero shamble off, the moment of truth had arrived. He looked back down, at his mother’s death mask being remade by the dying light of their campfire. As the flames dwindled he could have sworn he saw shadows creep into the wells of her eyes, while others, crawling up around her jawline, drew her bluing lips like purse strings. He hopped to his feet and ran for another handful of tinder. When their little fire provided enough light he dropped to his knees and looked again.She was sinking right before his eyes, every aspect of her expression in collapse. The boy watched clinically, fascinated. As the flames began to sputter he thought he could see large purple bruises spreading across her cheeks like the seeping limbs of overflowing pools. He bent closer.From deep in the night came the longest, the leanest, the saddest wail he’d ever heard. He turned to see the starlit ghost of his father, facing away, staring at a low barren hill. Uncountable stars embroidered the spot. The boy made out a low shape moving along the hilltop, cutting off patches of stars as it passed.The wolf howled again; a mournful, spiraling cry to nowhere and nothing. Hero’s head notched upward. He began to hike.Halfway to his feet the boy stopped dead.It took a minute to sense why he’d frozen in place, and a good while longer for his heart to quit pounding. He was aware of a nervous padding, and, once his vision had adjusted, of a lazy stream of eyes gleaming in the dying campfire’s light. The eyes bobbed around him, glared momentarily, returned to the ground.A massive gasp, and his mother was tearing at his wrist. He watched her hyperventilating, saw her bulbous yellow eyes sinking in a wide violet pool. With a sizzle and pop the last tongue of flame was taken by the night.Then her clammy hands were all over him, pulling and demanding, caressing and beseeching. He had to pry them off like leeches, had to place them clasped on her shuddering arched belly.A silky snarl rose almost in his ear.With a little squeal he sprang to his feet, even as something nearby jumped back in response.The boy stood absolutely still while the panting thing padded nearer. They stood very close, smelling each other. He instinctively extended a hand, palm forward. But it was no good; his arm was shaking out of control. The snarl rose again, not so tentatively this time. His mother’s nails tore at his ankle.The boy gently stepped away, only to find himself surrounded by the shifting silhouettes of half a dozen gray wolves. They approached in a calculated manner: two from the left, one from the right, another from behind. He was being goaded away from his mother; he could hear her fists beating the ground, and a few seconds later the sounds of a nauseating assault and ravaging.He shakily raised his other hand. Now both arms were extended, and their message was clearly one of defense rather than control. Two snapping wolves stepped aside, leaving him a gateway into the night. A cold wet nose bumped his wrist.Screaming like a woman, he took off after his father just as fast as his feet would carry him.

BOY

Alon­g the great Kazakh Steppe a man could wander a lifetime and never meet another of his kind—especially if his kind happened to be Alaskan Inuk, and if he happened to be the teenaged patriarch of a two-man family going nowhere.Here history is mostly mute.Upon this continent-spanning steppe, unnamed communities were scattered and rebuilt, lives blown about by the wind. The only centers of humanity a traveler might encounter, far removed from the Silk Road at the very crack of the new millennium, were temporary encampments of civilization at its rudest—shifting holes of cutthroat commerce existing solely for the barter of silk and spices and hapless souls. Life here was revered far less than merchandise, and the longest-lived men were those who kept their distance.Hero and his boy hiked over permafrost and tundra for years; their meandering course a drunken mapmaker’s scrawl. Chronological entries along this imaginary line would reveal that they’d stopped, sometimes for months at a time, when the father had grown too weak and disoriented to continue. Hero’s internal compass was long-sprung, and his weight had fallen considerably. He’d sit on his lonesome, scarecrow-scrawny, wistfully scrolling a 360-horizon while his boy scouted and scavenged. Then, for no apparent reason, he’d just up-and hike—sometimes northwest, sometimes along a tangential plane that always threatened to spiral. It was brutal: winters were frigid, summers, by odd contrast, running steamy to baking. Season by season these marches lost their tenaciousness, and eventually their heart. Hero’s obsession was becoming his demise.Now, to a hypothetical observer, the ratty pair of woolly camels materializing out of the rising August heat might have been mirages.These beasts were novelties here, and pioneers, for they were way beyond their normal stomping grounds. They’d tramped for months with a mind-numbing monotonousness, a thousand miles and more; round the Urals to the south, and through the hard territory braced by the Volga and Voronezh, avoiding anything that even smelled of men. They’d been wild camels; ugly, ill-tempered, and unpredictable, until the boy tamed them by touch…but this new pattern was a literal change of pace…for weeks the frail little man and his dark teenaged son rose and fell with the animals’ rhythm, lulled by it, sick of it, dreaming of lands far removed from hoarfrost and peat moss. In this manner they were borne clear to present-day Belarus, whereupon the camels’ stupefying march began to quicken. Mile by mile they put on steam, until one day they reached a broad area distinguishable from its bracing terrain only by its many deep surface cracks. Here the camels’ behavior became erratic; they crouched at an angle while tramping, their long necks oscillating, their noses bobbing along the ground. Eventually they came upon a dingy pool nestled in a pebbly depression. The local brush surrounding this pool was situated like iron filings about a lodestone. The boy hauled back his camel’s neck and laid a hand on its brow. The brute slowed to a halt. The other camel imitated its partner, move for move. Simultaneously the animals dropped to their knees.The boy jumped off, catching Hero as he fell. The camels stood watching stupidly as son maneuvered father, but after a while grew nervous and began tramping their hooves in time. They slowly stepped to the pool’s rim and knelt woozily, their noses poised just above the surface. Their whiskers danced on the pool’s face, their lids became heavy, their hindquarters quivered as they drank. Their nostrils, having fluttered in unison, remained agape. They appeared to be asleep.The boy began filling skins.The water was quite warm; he slurped a palmful and almost immediately felt intoxicated.He flicked it off his fingers; the water was bad.Three heads were now mirrored in the pool; the camels’ at ten o’clock and two o’clock, the boy’s at six. He watched their reflections continue to ripple, long after the pool had become still. His face, melting and firming, rapidly fluctuated between extremes of age, and between his own recognizable features and those of some…monstrosity. The effect was hypnotic. He felt his joints stiffen; his eyes became weak, his thoughts muddled…his face was irresistibly drawn to the pool’s surface, and for a moment he was in real peril of drowning. He ****** his head aside and creaked to his feet.Where the camels had knelt were only the prints of their bellies and knees. In the distance they could be seen galloping all-out for the horizon, right back the way they’d come. The boy watched until they were swallowed by their dust, and when he turned around his father was long gone.Now he knew it was all just a matter of time.And sure enough, after eleven more days of feebly staggering along, Hero completely ran out of gas. The boy bundled him up in a shawl, like an old woman.Sitting there, cradling an unresponsive man weighing less than eighty pounds, he couldn’t help but let his morbid fantasies run wild. He was now old enough to realize his father had at some time suffered severe head trauma, and honest enough to accept that the man was rapidly approaching a vegetative state. This understanding accompanied him like a shadow, and that night he questioned, for the very first time, his own convoluted rationale.He was just beginning to sense that his will was not his own.He built a semi-permanent camp west of the Desna and foraged in a tight spiral, always returning in a straight line. Some days he came back feeling uneasy, sensing another presence. Then it was every other day. It bugged him to no end. At last, when it became every day, he hauled his father to his feet and began a resolute march to the west.Again he became anxious, and after only a dozen yards.He turned slowly while hunching, certain something bulky had just dropped out of sight. Nothing looked suspicious, everything looked suspicious. He walked Hero some more, occasionally peering back over his shoulder. There was…something.He whirled: only masses of rock and high brush. Yet, when he really strained his eyes, he was sure, pretty sure, that he could make out a large crouching body continuous with the rocks. Heart in his throat, he began a slow steady creep, only to pause, positive the bulge, whatever it was, had shifted in response. The boy very gradually raised his arm until it was level with his eyes, faced the palm outward, and extended the arm parallel with the ground. He could almost feel some kind of current passing between his itching palm and…nothing. He walked over to Hero, stopped again. There’d been the subtlest sense of traction. The boy propped up his father in a cloud of flies and waited.In a minute the bulge drew *****.Out of the brush strolled a furry gray wild ***, her back inclined from countless weary miles; stretching her neck, pausing to nibble, taking her sweet time. Grungy as she was, she fit right in.At the boy’s first casual step she immediately hit the dirt and remained flat on her belly, one big dark eye staring between her hooves. Another step, and her **** bunched up. The closer he got, the higher her rear end rose. When he was almost at arm’s length she sprang back and danced away, seeming to bound with delight. But not to the east, as she’d come.To the northwest.She backpedaled while the boy came on whistling and cooing, matching him step for step. But the moment he threw up his arms in resignation she spun round as though cued, dropped on her belly, and peered over her shoulder.The boy was first to blink. This time he approached fractionally, keeping movements to a minimum. She rose just as carefully, sauntering northwest in reverse, and at the first sign of hesitation turned, dropped, and cautiously gazed back. The boy glared at that huge mocking **** and broke into a sprint. She easily danced out of reach, plopped down, and continued to stare.He began hurling stones, with venom and with accuracy, until she’d scurried into the brush.But on the way back to his father he could feel her tagging along.Twenty feet behind she halted, looking bemused.The boy nodded ironically. He walked Hero over, murmuring baby talk all the way, and firmly placed a palm on the animal’s muzzle once her breath grazed his fingers. She stroked his hand up and down with her whiskers, gave a kind of curtsy, and waited on her knees while he helped his father mount.At Hero’s touch a shudder ran down her body. She stood up straight. Her eyes became set, her back absolutely stiff. She put down her head and began the long trek northwest, never once breaking stride.It was an amazing march, an impossible feat. For a little over three days and almost four hundred miles she progressed like an automaton, driving herself without rest, without food or water.After trotting alongside for an hour the boy climbed on and force-fed his father berries and smoked meat, his dark eyes constantly searching the countryside. Occasionally he’d see a run of red foxes to their left, watching intently, padding cautiously. Sooner or later they’d vanish, only to be replaced by a train of feline or equine pursuers. Packs approached and receded while, high overhead, flocks formed triangular patterns that continually broke up and reformed. There was a peculiar rhythmic quality to this ebb and flow that lulled his senses further. The boy shook his head to clear it, but his exhaustion was deeper than he’d supposed—even the brush appeared to be leaning northwest.That first day he grew numb with the pace, and that night the relentless pounding of her hooves drew him into a miserable slumber. He wrapped his arms around his sleeping father and lay half atop. When he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer he tore strips from his skins, then looped his tied wrists round her neck, his ankles round her belly.On the second day she was breathing hard, but her back was still high and she showed no signs of faltering. Her eyes remained focused on the ground dead ahead. She always sensed the best routes; finding mountain passes, fording wetlands.But by the third day they could feel her ribs quaking against their legs. Her breath exploded as she marched, blood frothed and caked about her nostrils. Still she pushed herself on, her pace so steady it was almost metronomic.On the fourth day her legs were gone. She veered and stumbled, shuddering every few paces. The boy hopped off for the umpteenth time and tried to bring her to graze, but she wouldn’t be turned. He ran behind her as she staggered along, unwilling, or unable, to rest.At last a foreleg gave and she went down hard. Sobbing and snorting, she plowed her muzzle back and forth in the soil, the useless leg repeatedly pounding the ground. After a minute she raised her head and brayed at the sky, her neck muscles taut, her head slowly swinging side to side. Her cry went on and on.With a tremendous effort she pushed herself upright and butted the boy aside. Every part of her body was shaking. From her depths a low moan grew to a steady bray, and finally to a wild, pulsing howl. She came to a rise, but was too weak to climb without sliding. Stamping in frustration, she managed a few feet, reared feebly, slid some more. The boy got behind her and applied his back; it took all he had to assist her almost to the top. With a desperate lunge she crashed on her belly.Amazingly, she dragged herself on, her howl now a scream, her head whipping left and right. When she could pull herself no farther she ****** forth her neck to its very limit and, with a shudder that ran from the tip of her nose to the tuft on her tail, shoved her muzzle straight into the dirt and died.The boy hauled off his father and fell back. The animal’s eyes were fixed upwards, seeming, even in death, to be straining for a glimpse of what lay just beyond the rise. The boy half-dragged Hero the last few yards. They collapsed at the top, and together looked over the cold Baltic Sea.

At water’s edge a haggard fisherman sat on his boat’s ravaged deck, blindly staring out to sea. His was a queer vessel; a family structure built more like an aft-cabined barge than like seacraft typical of that period. The fisherman’s boat, like his mind, had been abused beyond repair.He’d lost much in his life. Time had taken his dreams, pox his face, hardship his back and shoulders. And, more recently, a brawling band of drunken Baltic pirates had ***** his wife and daughter before butchering them along with his two fine sons, while he sat helplessly bound to the mast. Finally, to further their delight, they’d set the boat aflame and sent it crackling against the sun; knowing he could hear their hoots and howls, knowing he would drift undead, accompanied only by this last unspeakable memory.But a squall, without prelude, had doused the flames and blown his home ashore.There he’d remained for a full long day, staring at nothing, his shattered life caught on the rocks. On the second day he’d worked himself free and commenced staggering about in his memories, gathering shards. It was a pathetic claim. He made a pile of all the old bedding and linen and usable cords, and set about sewing a sort of mementos sail. All that third day he had sewn, and on the fourth he had hoisted this sail and been moved to see it billowing in a northwest-blowing breeze. Again he just sat and gaped. And later that day he’d become aware of a commotion taking place on the long grade leading down to the water, where a writhing mass of seagulls was proceeding like a tremendous slow-motion snowball. He’d never seen anything like it. It wasn’t uncommon to find gulls in a group of many dozens or more, but there must have been two, maybe three thousand of the birds now swarming toward his boat. They were making an incredible racket. In the midst of this cloud could be seen a couple of slowly walking figures; as they neared he made out a small man accompanying a boy in his late teens, both dressed in odd skins. When they reached the rocks his eyes were drawn to the small man’s face. It was a foreign face, brutish and dark, with a deep cleft running from above the right temple to the jaw’s left side. Whatever instrument had felled this man had been devastating—everything in its path was smashed, and with permanence. The forehead was caved in. There was no bridge to the nose, the left cheek was completely collapsed, one side of the mouth was a mangled mess. The jaw itself had set improperly, so that it jutted to the side. The general impression, especially from a distance, was of some unforgettable circus freak’s countenance puckering at an angle. It was a face right out of a nightmare. But there was nothing frightening about the eyes. They were the eyes of a child.Maybe half the gulls hopped screaming on the rocks. The rest circled overhead.The boy considered the fisherman curiously before placing a foot on the charred deck. His gaze went around the boat, lingered on the makeshift sail, returned to the slumped figure. He passed a hand before the eyes. No response. He then leaned in close and placed his fingers on the man’s forehead. Immediately that bleak expression became fluid, brimming over with horror and heartbreak. Tears rolled down the fisherman’s cheeks as he gasped, shuddered, and backed up the scorched mast to his feet. Thus propped, he squinted at his visitors and was overcome by a wave of homesickness so strong he had to turn away. The feeling bewildered him, for this vessel, and this sea, were all the home he’d ever known. He clung to the mast while the boy helped his father board. Once he’d collected himself, the fisherman tore a heavy crossbeam from the toasted cabin. He and the boy used this as a lever, and together they shoved the boat off the rocks. The wind picked up nicely, and the little craft was swept across the water.Exploding off the rocks, the gulls shot after the boat as if it were brimming with fish, the loudest and orneriest vying for favored positions directly overhead. The melee attracted additional gulls—they came shrieking in their hundreds from all sides, banking and calling in the oddest manner, until the mass grew so thick as to cast a permanent shadow on the boat. All day long the clamor continued, and all that night. The fisherman rolled with the rudder, listlessly, allowing the sea to control him. Eventually he let go, that the wind might bear them where it would. His sail ballooned but held firm, and the boat fairly zipped across a sea somehow smooth as glass, broken only by the vacillating ripples of bottleneck dolphins and migrating humpback whales. The three tiny sailors sat hunched together, motionless, all throughout the next day, until the black coast of Sweden loomed in the twilight.As the boat neared land the cloud of gulls broke up, shot to shore, and landed in groups of a thousand and more; a dizzying, wildly uproarious reception committee.The dung-covered boat slammed into the rocks, shattering the fisherman’s trance. He intuitively walked his **** up the mast and, swaying there, watched the boy draw his father over the side and lead him to a clearing at wood’s edge. There in the dusk he made out what appeared to be a hefty spotted runaway heifer hitched to a rickety wood wagon. He saw the cow gallop up to meet them, saw the boy look around warily, saw him help the little man into the wagon and climb in beside him. The animal immediately began picking through the woods, the large brass bell round her neck clanging forlornly.The clarity of that bell made him realize just how quiet it had become. He craned his neck: there wasn’t a gull in sight. He fell back against the shot mast and slid onto his tailbone with a clacking of teeth. His eyes were misting up. In the gathering dark a few sail fragments flew past and were ****** into the woods. The boat rocked and relaxed. After that there was only the sound of the receding bell’s sad, monotonous song being batted about by the wind.

The little cow strode through moonlit woods until she came to a path formed by the rutting of wheels over many years. She followed this broken, serpentine track throughout the night, and by morning was passing farms and, occasionally, crossing broader paths that might realistically be defined as roads. All day long she bore down that ragged track, until she came in late afternoon to a clearing near a village. Here many such tracks converged. And here the boy slipped away while she grazed.Sometime after dark he returned with a load of straw, a couple of pilfered blankets, and a fat iron kettle. Crammed in this kettle were salt, tubers, cheese, a few loaves of rye, legumes, and a plump foot of lamb sausage. Most of this ***** he’d brought in tied to the bowed back of a huge, puffing, highly amenable black pig which, thus laden, now followed the boy’s every step like a fresh convert tracing the heels of the messiah. The boy built a fire under the stars, filled the kettle with creek water, and commenced simmering their dinner. While waiting, he couldn’t help but note an odd feature of the local flora: plants, especially trees, all seemed inclined to a northwesterly disposition, though no amount of wind could account for it. He shooed the pig. But rather than run along, it backpedaled in a nervous circle, round and round in reverse, until it lost its balance and fell on its ****. There it remained, a yard behind the wagon. The boy fed his father and lined the wagon with straw. They settled in for the night. The boy must have nodded, might have dreamt, but while he was drifting he became aware of a stirring in the woods. He sat up, saw the pig’s eyes gleaming inches from his nose. And there were a number of animals, some wild, some strayed from farmsteads, arranged in a broad circle around the wagon, their eyes glinting with moonlight. Not a rustle, not a peep, was lifted from the woods.In the morning he woke to find the pig still staring. The fidgeting heifer, impatient to roll, began her long day’s march while Hero and his boy were yet stretching and scratching, and the ******* pig, galloping heavily, fell in close behind. Each new day this routine was repeated. They banged past farms and small communities until the ruts intersected a broad rocky road wending halfway across the kingdom. The cow addressed this road with vigor. They picked up followers—a goat here, a couple of sheep there—which hurried after the wagon as best they could. The cow stomped on with resolve, mile after mile, day after day, her bell keeping steady time. That bell’s peal attracted foals, lambs, and kids into the wagon’s narrowing wake. Hares hopped between hooves and wheels, boars and blue foxes fell in and withdrew. White falcons, normally solo fliers, whirled into wedge shapes high overhead.At night the entire train would camp on the road while the boy raided proximate farmsteads, always returning fully laden. And as soon as the fire died the colony grew, creature by creature, and the moment the sun broke the horizon the heifer came to life and moved on, but each day a bit more resolutely, as though straining to meet a deadline. The march took on a sense of real urgency. The cow pressed on with attitude, the clang of her bell more strident with each passing mile. Soon her followers numbered in the hundreds, as animals deserted their farms or crept out of the woods to tag along. Tillers and traders stood dumbfounded, amazed by the bizarre flow.Once they’d crossed into Norway the frothing cow veered hard to the west. The pace really picked up; no longer were Hero and his boy afforded the luxury of a night’s sleep in one spot. Days blurred into a single variegated flow as the bashed and lopsided wagon continued building its entourage; the riders were surrounded dawn to dusk by a confused and confusing scurry. Word of the flow’s weirdness preceded it clear to the Norwegian coast, so that now plowmen and merchants, wearily gathering their goggling families, found themselves lined in anticipation along the king’s highway. Horsemen went pounding to and fro with news of the procession’s progress and particulars, children ran through the streets banging pots in imitation of the cow’s approaching bell. Livestock wheeled and stamped, fowl leaped and crashed.The slobbering cow broke into a run.Bystanders trotted behind, calling back and forth excitedly, while the wagon’s permanent following squealed and squawked between their heels. The cow made a hard turn onto a widening swath in the brush. This swath, seeming to strain against the soil, ran straight down to the crest of a low hill overlooking the Atlantic. On either side a crowd had been studying the phenomenon for some time, but now all eyes swung to the dark and disfigured man and his son, clinging to the disintegrating wagon behind the careening spotted cow.The trailing people traded views as they ran. Most—at the very outset of the new millennium, with Christianity burgeoning throughout Europe—leaned to the miraculous. Others, just as superstitious but prone to a darker point of view, threw looks of horror at the deformed little man. Yet they ran no less eagerly.The galloping crowd made for the seaside, where only one local event of any moment was brewing: on the coast a Greenlander Viking was preparing his longship for the rough voyage home. Impetuous son of the great island’s first permanent European settler, he’d just been baptized in Olaf’s court, and was now eager to sail—but not as a warrior—as a missionary. While his spirit remained in a tug-o’-war between his father Erik’s will and that of gods old and new, his duty was clearly to his king. And Olaf had charged him with the Christianization of pagan Greenland.Something on the wind now made this destined man turn his head. From behind the gentle hill to his rear came a kind of thunder. Heads popped up, followed by a confused explosion of voices, and seconds later a frantic bug-eyed heifer burst into view, dragging the wheel-less skeleton of a shattered wooden wagon. On the wagon’s splayed frame a man and teenaged boy clung for their lives as the spewing animal made a beeline for his ship.The new missionary, still egocentric enough to assume his Maker might actually toss him a personal, surreptitiously rolled up his eyes. The sky yawned at his arrogance. At his side a smallish cowled man rose irritably, but the missionary sat him right back down. He then snorted, squared his shoulders, and signaled his men to halt their preparations.Knowing it was expected, he gathered his hard Nordic pride and coolly made his way into the crowd.

The priest clung to port, gagging above the waves.After a completely uneventful minute he leaned back and stared through tearing eyes at the distant backdrop of gathering mists. Weeks now…a man of his constitution had no business at sea.Along, too, were a quirky little man and his fiercely devoted son.Through his pantomime, the boy had been so persistent in begging their passage that refusal, under the circumstances, would have been unbecoming not only a man of God but a man of the world.So there it was: a priest who couldn’t hold his lunch, a witless eyesore who couldn’t sit still, and a surly teenaged protector who snarled at the first hard look. This crossing just had to be some kind of divine test—of mortal patience as well as moral values. Norsemen weren’t made for babysitting.The mists condensed.And the shifting shape became a hard familiar coast.And the longship was mooring, and the crew were jostling and clambering, and the big missionary had booted off the haunted little freak and his hypersensitive son, and was condescendingly half-escorting, half-carrying, the green priest ashore.And they were home.

Priest in tow, Leif quickly took up the Christianization of Greenland’s Western Settlement, as per Olaf’s command. The mangled little man and his son followed him around like dogs, slept outside his door and annoyed his visitors, ultimately proving far easier to adopt than to shake. Barely tolerable shadows…still, the lad was simply amazing with livestock…and though the youth’s useless father seemed time and again to be just begging for a whooping, his son’s presence bore some ineffable quality that always curbed the missionary’s hand. Several times he’d witnessed the father approached by settlers bent on abuse. Each time the boy had stepped in, and each time the troublemakers were mysteriously repelled. The missionary of course didn’t attribute any kind of celestial intervention to these episodes, and certainly the popular notion of devilry was a natural reaction to the pair’s outrageous exoticness, but…in the son’s company, and even under the sharp eyes of his fellow Norsemen, Leif more than once found himself oddly moved to protect the father. And so the deformed man and his boy day by day blent in—as village idiot and mystic guide. And when in time a ****** brought tales of an unvisited land to the west, it was only natural for the restless Greenlander to buy that ******’s boat and, before stalwart comrades, weary family, and whimsical God Almighty, reluctantly accept the eccentric father and son as sort of seagoing mascots.Hero was from then on irrepressible. During preparations he would pipe and stammer in his half-mute way, brimming with a confounding anxiety that kept him underfoot and at odds with all. On frigid nights he perched on the westernmost rocks, moaning to the horizon in the strangest fashion while his son stood guard. He positively spooked the locals; they’d gossip, nervously and with bile, of an answering wind that came wailing off the sea like a banshee in labor. The whole island wanted rid of him. And when his champing beneficiary, still clinging to the notion of Christian charity, bundled him aboard with his son and a crew of thirty-five, not a single settler was sorry to see him go.Almost from the moment they cast off everything went wrong, as all attempts to control the longship were met with some kind of unknowable countermanding force. Vikings were not renowned for passive resistance—they fought, squaresail and steering oar, leaning oarsman to oarsman, until the ship rocked on the waves like a bucking bronco. An erratic weather system pursued them, worsening dramatically at each minute variation in heading. The Norsemen doubled down, and when the clouds finally burst wide, the cowling sea went mad. Dervishes whirled about the hull, crisscrossing winds bedeviled the sail. Patches of kelp belonging to much warmer waters came heaving alongside, fouling the work of the oars, while far to the west a humongous fog bank formed, eradicating the navigable field. The lightning-streaked horizon was a throbbing gray slit.The longship became locked in a slow westerly current.Fatigued crewmen complained of headaches and hallucinations, and of a nasty, slightly metallic tang to the air. There were numerous walrus sightings; bobbing flippers and snouts amid drifting ice chunks that came prowling the North Sea like a circling pack of famished white wolves.Worst of all was the boy’s father—instantly agitated by everything and nothing, prey to some primitive impulse that caused him to periodically incline his head, shudder to his feet, and loop his arms as though embracing the sky. Leif would watch him scrabbling at the prow like a cat at a tree, furs snapping in the wind. He’d watch the boy re-seat him for the hundredth time, and for the hundredth time be filled with an immense contempt. By now he’d acknowledged that it takes a special kind of strength to shoulder charity and tolerance. That brown little freak struck him as an enormous malformed barnacle, slowly working its way back up the prow. Trying so hard to go unnoticed, looking and listening so intently, though there was nothing to see other than the growing shelves of fog, and nothing to hear save the rising, almost hysterical voice of the wind.Leif sniffed the air, his ******’s instincts nagging him. This was a foul current, and a fool's errand; he took a deep breath and tentatively ordered the longship brought about.The ship kicked twice, as though an enormous submarine hand had seized and released the hull.A whirl formed in the water, causing the keeling ship to sweep around like a clock’s second hand. All about them, those drift-ice ghosts cruised dangerously near.But they’d been liberated from that accursed current. Leif fiercely urged on his rowers, and at last the ship broke free. They made a bead due north.Night came and the temperature plummeted.Small sheets of ice converged, drifting between the hunks. The Norsemen, instinctively huddling amidships, passed out one by one in a massive pile of fur and flesh. In the freezing silence the floes bumped and recoiled, bumped and gathered, bumped and bonded. The tiny ship, swallowed whole, was dragged along in a labyrinth of black sea and interlocking slabs of ice.

The Norsemen came to in a surly, foul-smelling heap, lost at sea. While they were still groggy a voice cried out that a darker patch was developing in the fog. The men all fell to port. Under the confusion of their voices could be heard a distant rumble.At this Hero hauled himself up the high curved prow. A half-light began to penetrate the fog, barely illuminating the irregular faces of drifting ice. The missionary stormed forward and indicated by gestures that if the boy didn’t restrain his father he would have the man tied down.The longship stopped dead in the water.The men found themselves regarding a perpetually frozen coastline swathed in bluish veils of mist. Directly before them loomed an immense ice cliff hundreds of feet high. Rising beyond this cliff were endless snow fields, where lean violet shadows seemed to drag about of their own volition. And upon those bleak fields a thin howling wind prowled, kicking up brief white dervishes, leaving a strange zigzagging signature.Even as they stared, a darker shadow high on the ice cliff’s glistening face began to widen, accompanied by a cracking sound that could be felt before it was heard. With the illusion of slow-motion, a stupendous chunk broke out of the cliff and came screaming toward the sea. It hit the water like a bomb. The thunder of its separation and the explosion of its impact took a moment to reach them. Then, out of a spewing crater of crests and spume, the new calf came lunging, tromping the sea so hard the longship, fully a mile to sea, was swept out and ****** back in like a cork. The floundering mountain of ice bobbed and lilted, generating huge waves which continued to rock the ship long after the monster had settled. In a while the roaring in their ears subsided and there remained only the swirling, nerve-wracking howl of the wind.The missionary’s eyes swept left and right. Whatever this place was, it sure wasn’t the fair shoreline he’d been promised. Hero again scrambled up the prow, and Leif again yanked him down. This time he made good his threat; he had the little nuisance bound, though he was half-tempted to let him take his chances overboard.From somewhere deep in the haze grew a soulful, otherworldly call. It went on and on, electrifying the air, bottoming out once the ship had merged with that previously fought westerly flow.By now Leif’s nerves were shot. He ordered the oars raised.The longship began to drift. Ship and ice were pulled due west.The clouds fell far behind as the ship embarked upon an amazingly calm sea—so calm its entire visible surface was featureless except for the faint wakes provided by the ship and its hulking ice companions. To the east a huge fog bank appeared on the horizon, and a while later a smaller bank to the north. Then a very dense one to the south. In time these banks converged, imperceptibly becoming a single mass that closed about the ship, bit by bit creating a slowly heaving dome. Tiny beads of water appeared on beards and eyebrows; in a minute everything was soaked. The only sound was that of the dragging steering oar. The men were now sopping ghosts, speaking only with their eyes.Directly ahead the fog began to dimple. The dimple became a hollow, the hollow a cave, and then ship and ice were being towed through a low, ever-extending tunnel in fog. The current increased its pull. Ship and drifting ice accelerated through the tunnel.After a while the missionary quietly stepped forward. He stood with one hand on the prow’s neck, listening to the mist, so motionless he might have been a carved extension of the longship’s aggressive design. Not a man breathed. The tunnel’s dilating and contracting bore was producing an all but seamless series of oscillating, near-phonetic sounds. Leif almost tiptoed back. No god, pagan or Christian, could account for the strangeness of this situation.They were borne on a course that grew more southerly, and the following day beheld an inhospitable shoreline glazed by dazzling white beaches. Their course held. Two days later they came upon a far pleasanter, thickly wooded coast. Here the current released its hold, and here the missionary untied Hero and personally placed him and his son in a tiny oak faering. He was just as sick of them as he was excited by this promising new land. Once the rowboat had been heaved over the side, he and another man stepped aboard and took up the oars. They began rowing with easy, powerful strokes.When the boat kissed sand the missionary stood unsteadily.The first European to set foot on North American soil now placed one hand on his crucifix, the other on his sword’s hilt, and awkwardly plunged his leg into the thigh-deep, ice-cold surf. Before he could take another step the boat lurched as Hero leapt headfirst into the water, followed an instant later by his son. The Greenlanders watched sourly as the two splashed their way into a mad dash for the waiting pines. Leif wished them both good riddance and turned to grin wryly at his fellow Norseman. He must have blacked out for a second, must have been blinded by a shaft of sun, for he found he was staring stupidly at a point midway between his companion and the longship. It felt like he’d been kicked between the eyes.Everything was dissolving.He studied the beach and pines closely, but saw nothing of the man or his boy. He turned back, disoriented. With what seemed a superhuman effort he took up his oars. He rowed out sluggishly, in a dream, and the fog rolled in to meet him.

The boy broke into the trees and embraced a trunk, fighting for breath. What happened next happened so fast and so unexpectedly he didn’t have a chance to react.Three savages stepped from behind the pines and beat him to his knees. They twisted his arms behind his back and hauled him to his feet. He’d barely processed the impression of a wild painted face when something sharp struck him ******* the temple and tore down his cheek to the jaw. Two of the assailants manhandled him into an upright position and held him in place while the third brought his weapon down again and again and again.All but dead, he watched a nightmare countenance shouting through a shot veil of blood, and behind that image a reeling crimson sun. He lay there gushing while the savages went through his rags. They propped him against a pine and shrieked with triumph, tore the hair and gory scalp from his skull, threw back their heads and screamed at the screaming sky. Tooth and nail, they ripped apart his face and throat and, certain he would die, split what bits of fur were left and let his carcass lie.

HERO

The weeks stretched into months while he fought his way back into the light.He progressed in stages; only half-conscious, stumbling along in a blood-red stupor punctuated by a slow strobe of frequent blackouts. Days loomed and decayed, nights pounced and were gone; the backlit, swirling gray cosmos collapsed and expanded on every missed beat of his pulse. A thousand times he broke down to die, and a thousand times he clawed to his feet, driven to pursue a tiny, ghost-like figure fluttering in his memory.Everything conspired to check him.A bay like an immense landlocked sea was skirted over months or years—it was all the same. Cold locked him in, Hunger drove him afield, that rude ***** Wind lashed him blind, wore him like a shoe, screamed for his skin while he worked his way west.Somehow he ate, somehow he avoided being eaten; the instincts that had served him halfway around the planet were still vital beneath the abused exterior. His simple burrows became sturdy temporary shelters. He relearned the art of fire, and began to cook what he killed. He manufactured crude snares and weapons and, when his recuperation was complete, paid closer attention to the on-again, off-again trail he’d been following…forever.Sometimes this trail would call to him like a lover. Other times he stood peering uncertainly, trying to recapture meanings and aims. Then the ground would turn spongy and the sky revolve, and once again he’d be lying all but dead in the woods, while from the face of the sun emerged a vile winged horror, its ugly pale head lashing side to side, its cruelly hooked beak dangling something that glistened in the wild pulsing light…then the fat moon, rising like gas against the icy black night…the feel of the wind: the slashing of her nails, the chafing of her hem…the sound of things crunching and pausing and sniffing…then the sun, blazing anew. And again that thing, descending, its wide black wings beating slowly, metronomically—but none of that mattered any more. For his mind had quit him, had flown howling into ice and pine to roost with things surreal. In the day his madness might muddle and run, or spend the light stalking, cat-like, watching and waiting. But at night it came creeping from all sides. Sometimes it came in waves. It could gnaw like the devil, or wrap around him like a warm second skin. But none of that mattered either.The only thing that mattered was the trail—whether it was lost for good, or for only a while. He’d been following it through his episodes, always north, wondering just who and where in the world he was, and trying to shake a ridiculous notion of being led on a wild goose chase.The cold was unbelievable.The deeper north he delved, the more confused he became. He grew starved for colors and scents, finding nonexistent patterns in the stark contrast of shadow and snow. He thought he could detect a kind of otherworldly design in the overwhelming number of dead ends he encountered, and, too, in the diabolically frustrating locations of natural obstacles. He seemed to be forever fighting the wind—a hulking, despondent snowman, he hiked face down and focused, while another aspect of his attention floated just behind, disembodied, watching his silent pursuers…leaving no tracks, blending perfectly with the environment in their clever winter coats…not predators, but creatures that normally should have been hightailing it away from him. By the time he could turn, they’d become nothing more menacing than snowdrifts. But they pursued him nevertheless.And so his paranoia increased…had there ever really been a trail…and when did this miserably cold, miserably anemic crusade begin…his long-term memory was falling apart a chunk at a time. It just got colder and colder and colder until at last, one snippet of a day during one blur of a year, he found himself utterly lost, and clueless as to his history or objective. His mind was a blank, as colorless and featureless as the endless world of ice around him. He’d come this far solely to learn that the only trail he’d been following was his own—and now even that trail was succumbing to ice. On all sides there was nothing to see but an infinite field of glaring whiteness, and nothing to hear but the ululating wail of the tubular polar wind. It was the loneliest, the unholiest, the creepiest sound imaginable. But it wasn’t insanity that made him wheel. It was his self-preservation instinct.And then he was somehow on his knees in the woods, facing a furious setting sun.Whole seasons had passed from his memory like chalk from a board. His only recollections were those of a broken, haunted animal: of being perilously sick, of fearing the unseen, of blindly struggling across a solid-white wilderness. That he’d survived such an ordeal meant nothing to him. And that he had in some indecipherable manner stumbled across the cold-as-stone trail did not fill him with amazement or with thankfulness—there simply wasn’t anything visual or emotional left to draw on. A significant part of his life had been whited out.But now he could focus entirely on the trail. And before he knew it, the fuzzy area between fantasy and reality found a seam. He began to analyze and plan. He paid attention to hygiene, and kept a kind of running mental journal. Things were sorting out. Yet there were nights when the old sickness would resurface, reestablish its hold, and leave him sweating and uncertain under the stars. Then, paradoxically, his perception would become razor-keen. And so he would see, on a distant hilltop, a pair of scrawny silhouettes, one on four legs and one on two, slowly crossing the faintly pocked face of the setting moon. He would become strangely excited, and thereafter retain crystal-clear images of himself, as if seen from above, hurrying with adroitness through the silent, graveyard-like setting of black and blue night and white-frosted trees. Then the fuzzy area would broaden, and it would be the next morning, and he would be staring at the prints of man and elk in snow. And he would see how the elk’s prints doubled back, and how the man’s prints terminated where he had obviously mounted his guide. An unfathomable glow would bring tears to his eyes. But, even as he gathered himself, a fresh snowfall would wipe out the prints. And once again the world would plummet into white. And the wind would howl as the snow hammered his eyes. And he would ***** on.

A haggard animal sat shivering in a small grove of frozen pines, watching his campfire die. His eyes were fixed. Like the fire, he was running out of warmth, running out of fuel. There wasn’t a whole lot of tinder round his bones, and not much feeling left in his limbs. The slowly heaping downfall was burying him alive, but he was too numb to care.It had taken him six long years to cross an entire continent, and during that time he’d known only cold and excruciating pain. The pain was leaving him now. The cold was making it right. His eyes glazed over.Along a narrow plain to the west a herd of caribou filed dreamily through the snow, cutting across a panoramic backdrop of dazzling white mountains. The slow-motion parade was hypnotic. After a while it occurred to the drifting man, in a roundabout way, that he was dying, that he was nonchalantly freezing to death. Concurrent with this notion there rose in his chest a wonderful liquid warmth. His eyes slowly closed and, once shut, began to set fast.He was jolted from within. It was as if he’d been kicked in the heart.He ****** to his feet, pounded his fists on his thighs, felt nothing. The breath spurted from his mouth in small white clouds as he stumbled downhill after the slow caribou train. He swam through the snow, hallucinating, imagining that certain individuals in the herd were mocking him by slowing and accelerating, while others glanced back with expressions of contempt.As he burst into their midst the animals stepped aside indifferently. A few galloped ahead to keep up the herd, but most simply sidestepped while he danced there, stamping his feet and smacking his hands. The herd grew thinner, until only the old and infirm were filing by. The man desperately embraced a hobbling female for warmth, but she cried out and kicked, triggering a panic reaction in the herd. Clinging for his life, the man was dragged along beside her as the herd stormed into a maze of flying ice and snow. His weight caused her to stagger sideways until they slammed against the flank of a sick male. The man instinctively threw an arm over the male and, thus draped between them, was borne across the drifted plain for upwards of a mile, his freezing feet alternately dangling above and dragging through the snow. The herd broke into a hard run, forcing him to assume a broken trot. Soon his legs were stinging. Sensation rushed through his body.Now the herd, still picking up speed, began to contract, jamming him between his bearers. There was a quick jolt to his right and he was lifted clean off his feet, nearly straddling the bucking female. It had become an all-out stampede. Through hard-flung snow he saw the cause: just ahead, the caribou had run head-on into a solid wall of galloping wood bison, and both frantic herds had blindly veered to the east; were in fact running side by side down a deep, ragged canyon—were pouring over the canyon’s lip like a cataract. He was approaching, at breakneck pace, that very place where the converged herds so abruptly swerved. The hanging man snarled as he was borne inevitably to the point of deflection.There came a concussion at his left shoulder, followed by a blast of snow. In an instant the ailing male was tumbling head over heels to the east, ****** into the stampede’s plummeting mass by the fury of its descent. The man and female, rebounding from this impact, were shot to the west in a crazy jumble of flailing legs. The caribou lost her footing, flew nose-first into a snowbank, and came up running. Kicking off, the man used the last of his strength to heave himself astride. At first she fought to shake him, but the spell of the run was too strong. She and half a dozen others went pounding in the opposite direction of the stampede, quickly joined by a number of bison that had likewise splintered from their herd. The riding man could make out their huge hulking shapes thundering by in a blizzard of flying ice, could hear their heavy gasps and explosive grunts. One passed so close he felt its massive flank brush his leg. He peered to his right and saw a black, pig-like eye regarding him excitedly, moving up and down like a piston as the beast ran alongside.The eye shifted, focusing on the gasping, completely obsessed female. The bull dropped its head and slammed into the caribou’s side, sending her and the man careening down a ***** to the west. The caribou brayed hysterically and her backside went down, but she managed, despite the weight of her rider, to return to all fours and frantically continue along the *****. Again the bull charged, crashing into her shoulder. The man and caribou were launched sideways into the white searing air.He sat up carefully. The huffing bison was straddling him like a bully laying down the ground rules. Its big wiry beard came right up to brush his chin. The stench of its breath was stupefying.The bull stamped and snorted, thrusting its stubby horns left and right as the man used his elbows and heels to back away. The bull followed, move for move. When the man collapsed under his own impetus the bull shoved him along with its snout, bellowing furiously. Clear down the ***** they lunged, shoving and lurching, until the man lay sprawled on his back; up to his chin in snow, completely helpless. The ton of a bull butted and kicked, but only glancingly: those hooves could **** with a blow. At last the man, in one clean sequence, spun on his rear, dropped to his side, and went rolling down the ***** using his elbows for ******.At the bottom ran a narrow fence of frosted saplings marking an ice cliff’s precipice. He lay face down in the snow, too done in to do anything but **** at an air pocket.And there came a high-pitched crackling, a sound like the protracted gasp of embers in a dead fire. He turned just as those saplings began leaning to the west, their frozen skins cracking with the strain.The bison bellowed menacingly.The sprawled man looked back and saw it still standing with legs spread wide, silhouetted against the sky. In a moment it began huffing downhill, lurching side to side, surfing the snow between lunges.It chased him through the genuflecting saplings straight into a frozen gully where, protected by a few feet of insurmountable verticality, he was able to slide on the ice between its stomping hooves, downhill out of reach, then downhill out of control—spinning just in time to glimpse a breathtaking vista:Partly framed by the gully-straddling saplings was a vast crescent of jagged white mountains seemingly huddled round a small stretch of snow-draped pines. The little wood these mountains surrounded was isolated in a broad lake of solid ice. Hundreds of fissures radiated crazily throughout this packed ice field, appearing to issue from somewhere near the frozen wood’s center, which was completely obscured by a ring of rising mist. Above this thumbnail panorama the sun showered gold.Then the gully dipped radically, and he was skidding headfirst, slamming back and forth against its slick white walls. This uncontrollable plunge had the positive effect of getting his blood flowing. Yet it tore him up. Had the gully concluded in a cul-de-sac, or had further progress required a single calorie of uphill effort, his struggle would certainly have ended here. He would have been too weak to move, and death would have been swift.But there was a glacier—a great river of ice pouring slowly out of the clouds. The gully, terminating in a little scoop formation near the glacier’s base, spat him flailing onto its gnarly glass hide. He went head over heels, bits of skin and fur flying like chips from a band saw. Somehow he gained his footing, and then he was running against his will, tumbling and recovering and tumbling again.He didn’t catch much of that crazy run. He half-glimpsed whirling walls of ice, felt a fickle surface underfoot, and broke through an assaultive mist that clung to his ankles and arms. He remembered having the ragged hides torn right off his body, and then being skinned alive. And he remembered reaching the glacier’s base and crawling like an animal; round its sweeping drifts, past its peaked moraines, all the way to a twisting frozen gorge.And he followed this gorge down; ricocheting wall to wall, delirious, small plumes of thrashed snow marking his descent.Through a freezing wood he fumbled. In a veil of mist he tumbled down a steep and verdant grade. As cold consumed his closing breath, he fell upon, near-blind, near death, a strange, enchanted glade.

There is a pool.And in this pool a man lay purged, his broken body half-submerged.The stumbling man stopped. He knelt to weep, but lost his thread. One hand took a bicep, the other, the head. With a twist and pull the corpse emerged.That visage…that face—misshapen mask, contorted, bleached; of life’s deposits fully leached. Essence dispatched—a void, sodden wretch.He let it fall and the glass was breached. All a freak, all a stretch: upon this act his grip detached.And the bridge collapsed…one vagabond grasp…what were these feelings; recaptured and trashed…a span elapsed…who was this puckered mass…he hauled it by the waist and thighs…slid it in, watched the pool react: purse and recover, expand, contract. The glass reformed, now silver-backed…a sudden mirror…the man leaned nearer…saw his reflection, just smashed, remade intact.The pool grew still.Within its depth a shadow stirred—visions gathered, some distinct, some obscure. What they meant, and who they were, was much too much to fathom. The glass became blurred.He closed his eyes, let his heavy head fall, fell back on his haunches, felt the sweat seep and crawl. The air was a pall—as he struggled to rise, a nib crossed his wrist.He opened his eyes.Between his fingers the blades poked and crept. Round his knuckles they ventured, up his forearm they stepped: they seemed to be triggered by prompts from the ground. He shook his head slowly and dully looked round.There were jays grouped about him, their black eyes aglow. Red hens came running, their fat chicks in tow. Gophers engaged in a weird hide-and-seek. Bluebells and buttercups craned for a peek. Sparrows hopped past and, paying no heed, burst into flight. He watched them recede.Westward they flew.Bewildered, he slumped.Bumped from behind, he jumped to his feet, flabbergasted to find an ancient gray moose near-eclipsing the sky, with grit in his snarl and fire in his eye.The old moose took aim.The man turned to flee and stumbled, then tumbled and fell on a palm and a knee.

But there lies a world (so the lullaby goes) where rivers ever run. Poked from behind, pushed out of his mind, he staggered into sun.

Copyright 2020 by Ron Sanders.

Contact: ronsandersartofprose(at)yahoo(dot)com

Sorry about the ghastly copy. This system makes graceful formatting impossible.

I am fatal if swallowed But, can keep you off the never-never-ending Cycle, Wallowing in the past, things I/You should have done. I am not just harmful handfuls honey. I am fatal if swallowed Let us not wallow-in self hate-deprecation-depressions. Do not? My children continue to search for a cure. I am it, Harmful if swallowed? No...Fatal if swallowed There are more things under our sun than what is ingrained in your philosophy, my dear, so. Let it be. Let it BE. Have a taste, a small one to start. I promise, I am fatal when swallowedAs you digest me, there will be cause for celebration:neither happy nor sad, you will simply be rescued, resolved to slip from Society. No longer searching and waiting.

I knew an old man who swallowed a peach,A peach is a pepper a pepper a peach, a peach is a fruit,My what a toot to have eaten such fruit, he swallowed thePepper to follow the peach but I don't Know why he swallowed the peach,Let's make some pie!

I knew an old man who swallowed a plum,A plum is a cherry a cherry a plum, a plum is a fruit,My what a toot to have eaten such fruit, he swallowed theCherry to follow the plum but I don't Know why he swallowed the plum,Let's make some pie!

Story by: YidhnaWritten in Chinese By: Yidhna Yue and Ezio FuTranslated in Full by Yidhna

1.“Light and Darkness”Another mythThe MonomythSymphony of a warA war of the lightand DarkA war in the mythMyth of the black mothsMyth of the firefliesFrom the beginning ofThe universeThat which is also the end of timeLife, like the phoenixes,Ends end with new life

For light and for darknessFor love and for destruction I am a knightI am a knightFor light and for darknessFor love and for destructionI am a dynastI am a dynast

Stars, as heaven sent GuardiansFall from the skyAs snow flakes fall from the skyFall to the their rebirthFall to their renaissanceas FirefliesFireflies of the righteous pathFireflies of lightThey will returnas stars in the night skyFor light and for darknessFor love and for destruction I am a knightI am a knightFor light and for darknessFor love and for destructionI am a dynastI am a dynast

From swamps of darknessFlows the corruptedIn the caves of darknessIn the forms of black mothsTarring the world with the wickednesswithout heart without hopeRebirth in the nightWithout lightFor light and for darknessFor love and for destruction I am a knightI am a knightFor light and for darknessFor love and for destructionI am a dynastI am a dynast

For light and for darknessFor love and for destruction I am a knightI am a knightFor light and for darknessFor love and for destructionI am a dynastI am a dynast

2.“The Fireflies”Without hope, who yet lives?Within darkness, who yet saves?Flames of light?Flames of heart?Or faith, and loyalty to faithWhen IrisesNo longer shinesWhen golden armorsScars like fleshThey will still use bloodTo light up beliefand bravely awaits the new dawnFallen from the starsThey are the warriorsThey are the saviorsThey are the firefliesThey are the firefliesIn love they will return as star lightsIn death they will return as star lightsIn death they will return as star lightsTime endless War eternalLight and darkness mourn for peaceLight, fireflies,andHeaven sent star lightsUnder the dark nightsWhen time diesWhen time endsLosing its dark and lightThe fireflies still singSing toward a path to truthLiving in faith, living in loveLiving in the rebirth, renaissanceAs stars from the skyFallen from the starsThey are the warriorsThey are the saviorsThey are the firefliesThey are the firefliesIn love they will return as star lightsIn death they will return as star lightsIn death they will return as star lightsGuardians of the righteous pathGuardians of the righteous lightMessengers of life: The firefliesThey are the starsThey are the starsFallen starsWhen the green lightLoses its shineWhen the flames of the firefliesLoses its fading lightThey will return to the heavensReturn to the skyLike the legend of phoenixHope reborn with lightThe promised hope in the starry night

3.“The Black Moth”There’s love for the darknessLove for their own kindThere’s hate for them tooHate for the enemiesThe black moth are born from shadowsThe black moth will die into shadowsShadowed in the forms of Black mothsThe flee with flightThen rebirth when diedAs shadows of the Night(Light)We are born from the darknessMolded into the nightWe will live within the cycleWe are the black mothsWe are the black mothsBorne out of the shadowsAs we live and dieAs shadows of the dark nightsDifferent eyesSees a different worldIf it never wasHow can one say anything at allWho to tell from right and wrongWhen both light and dark are the purestWhen all weapons only hinderWhen all pride could only be humbleWhen you no longer look backI will still followWe are born from the darknessMolded into the nightWe will live within the cycleWe are the black mothsWe are the black mothsBorne out of the shadowsAs we live and dieAs shadows of the dark nightsHe doesn’t need loveTo live lovelyHe doesn’t need lightTo feel proudJust the opposite lightJust a prodigy’s rightBravery in the darknessFor no one’s praisesWhen the light comesIn the last minuteWe will vanish in peaceWe are born from the darknessMolded into the nightWe will live within the cycleWe are the black mothsWe are the black mothsBorne out of the shadowsAs we live and dieAs shadows of the dark nightsWe are born from the darknessMolded into the nightWe will live within the cycleWe are the black mothsWe are the black mothsBorne out of the shadowsAs we live and dieAs shadows of the dark nights

4.“The Red Firefly”Born between light and darknessI am an outsiderTo this worldTo timeTo deathTo darknessTo lightI am AndorhousA messenger with a missionTo save timeI am AndorhousThe Red FireflyThe result of a mistake in timeI was born between two worldsBirthed in Night and LightI am the red fireflyI am the Hero of TimeI am AndorhousThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyBecause of my birthThe Goddess of TimeHelyhna was never bornTime returnsandAll will dieAt the Final BattleBetween Light and DarkI am AndorhousAn error that brought the world’s endI am AndorhousI need to stop my birthI was born between two worldsBirthed in Night and LightI am the red fireflyI am the Hero of TimeI am AndorhousThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyFor I am an outsiderI can see what they refuse to believeI understand the beginningI understand the endI understand the mistake I madeI am AndorhousI will make my sacrificeI am AndorhousI will use a moment to bring back eternityI will use a moment to bring back ImmortalityI was born between two worldsBirthed in Night and LightI am the red fireflyI am the Hero of TimeI am AndorhousThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyI was born between two worldsBirthed in Night and LightI am the red fireflyI am the Hero of TimeI am AndorhousThe Red FireflyThe Red FireflyThe Red Firefly5.“Guardian of Time”HelyhnaThe Goddess of LightThe Guardian of TimeThe Eternal AngelShe was suppose to be bornAt the beginning of timeTo end timeShe is the princess ofThe Firefly Queen and KingShe stopped and imprisoned timeSo life livesEternallyHowever, a mistake made in timeA mysterious red light fallen from the skySuddenly raced toward the palaceAnd caused another creation to emergeInsteadThat creation was AndorhousHe who was birthed between dark and lightWhere are you, Guardian?Where are you, HelyhnaInstead Andorhous BornBorn from Darkness and LightTorn from Darkness and LightWhere’s the GuardianWhere’s our GuardianShe who’s the GuardianShe who’s our GuardianGuardian of TimeThunder roaringClouds soaringEndless darknessEndless bloodTearing the skyTearing timeWhen blood flows to the edge of the river deathWhen corrosion follows the dark endNo knights to guardNo light at the rim of the cloudsListen to the people mourningLook at the innocent witheringWho will protect usWho will lead us out of the darknessWhere are you, Guardian?Where are you, HelyhnaInstead Andorhous BornBorn from Darkness and LightTorn from Darkness and LightWhere’s the GuardianWhere’s our GuardianShe who’s the GuardianShe who’s our GuardianGuardian of TimeThe sky darkeningWorlds EndingEndless battlesEndless woundsBattle to the endJudgement at the endOnly the guardian AngelCan bring peace back to the motherlandWhere are you, Guardian?Where are you, HelyhnaInstead Andorhous BornBorn from Darkness and LightTorn from Darkness and LightWhere’s the GuardianWhere’s our GuardianShe who’s the GuardianShe who’s our GuardianGuardian of TimeWhere are you, Guardian?Where are you, HelyhnaInstead Andorhous BornBorn from Darkness and LightTorn from Darkness and LightWhere’s the GuardianWhere’s our GuardianShe who’s the GuardianShe who’s our GuardianGuardian of Time

6.“The Choice”Parallel universeAnother timelineHelyhnaShe said to meBecause of my Transtemporal birthShe doesn’t exist in my worldBecause of the appearance of timeEternity will dieBecause of the Final Battle of Dark and LightAll will dieBecause of me, the Red FireflyDeath or ImprisonmentWhat Do I chooseWhat Do I chooseHelyhna or DarknessWhat do I doWhat do I do“Just an insect among lifeWhat could I doIf all diesI too will meet my demise”Helyhna said calmly“You can stop your birth”“You will go backStop that falling red lightIn the paradoxOne version of you will dieAnd this you will be my imprisoned time.”Death or ImprisonmentWhat Do I chooseWhat Do I chooseHelyhna or DarknessWhat do I doWhat do I doDeath or ImprisonmentWhat Do I chooseWhat Do I chooseHelyhna or DarknessWhat do I doWhat do I do

7.“The Final Battle”In my hesitanceThe skyMaraudedThe shadows of dark and lightLeaving only a rip of emptinessNothinglessIn space and TimeThe stars are shutting down their lightsThe black moths and shadows are swallowed aliveAll creatures are torn betweenThe ocean of sea and bloodI have decidedI stand correctedI will bring back peaceI will bring back eternityFor the Guardian of TimeFor the Guardian of TimeWhen silence in the airAre broken by the screams of DarknessWhen the remaining brightnessAre swallowed by the ripIn space and timeWhen two worlds are being swallowed by emptinessI have decidedI stand correctedI will bring back peaceI will bring back eternityFor the Guardian of TimeFor the Guardian of TimeBut, I could only remember HerThe guardian of timeI remember her countenanceI remember her pleading helplessnessI decided to go back to the beginning of timePrevent my erred birthStop the mysterious red lightAndReturn the GuardianTo Eternal LifeI have decidedI stand correctedI will bring back peaceI will bring back eternityFor the Guardian of TimeFor the Guardian of TimeI have decidedI stand correctedI will bring back peaceI will bring back eternityFor the Guardian of TimeFor the Guardian of Time

8.“I will stop time”

There’s only this wayAn inevitable wayYielding or fearingWhich is the tragic flawYou look through the worldWith a layer of tearsand have chosen the wayBecause only through this choiceYou see beauty of the eternal daysFor love and For timeFor darkness and for LightI will create my unbirthI will stop TimeI will stop TimeI will stop TimeFor the GuardianThe Guardian of TimeI still remember Helyhna’s wordsPrisoner or FreedomWhy choose ImprisonmentBecause you don’t just have the darknessBut also the conscience of the lightYou will always be an outsider toBoth dark and lightBut youYou are TimeAnd II am the guardian of timeFor love and For timeFor darkness and for LightI will create my unbirthI will stop TimeI will stop TimeI will stop TimeFor the GuardianThe Guardian of TimeFor love and For timeFor darkness and for LightI will create my unbirthI will stop TimeI will stop TimeI will stop TimeFor the GuardianThe Guardian of Time

9.“The Prisoner of Life”Andorhous lives beyond timeI can travel through time and spaceBecause I’m living within the error of eternityBecause I am that errorI am the limit, I am timeI flew toward the birth of HelyhnaTo wait for the falling red lightWhen I finally realizedI am that red lightI caused my birthI Surrender I Yield to EternityI am Time as I stopped TimeI am Time An anomalyI am Time A PrisonerPrisoner of HelyhnaThe GuardianMy GuardianGuardian of TimeGuardian of LifeI suddenly stopped flyingI finally realized that in thisWheel of a storylineI am that cause of abnormalityI caused my erred birthNow that Helyhna’s safe bornI stayed in this timelineAndBecame TimeOrPrisoner of HelyhnaThe Guardian of TimeI Surrender I Yield to EternityI am Time as I stopped TimeI am Time An anomalyI am Time A PrisonerPrisoner of HelyhnaThe GuardianMy GuardianGuardian of TimeGuardian of LifeI am the narratorI am the protagonistI am the villainI am the heroI am TimeI am the prisoner ofThe Guardian of TimeI Surrender I Yield to EternityI am Time as I stopped TimeI am Time An anomalyI am Time A PrisonerPrisoner of HelyhnaThe GuardianMy GuardianGuardian of TimeGuardian of LifeI Surrender I Yield to EternityI am Time as I stopped TimeI am Time An anomalyI am Time A PrisonerPrisoner of HelyhnaThe GuardianMy GuardianGuardian of TimeGuardian of Life

I followed him down the trail until we got to the mouth of the mines. The life and energy of the surrounding maples and birches seemed to come to a still and then die as we walked closer, closer. The air was cold and dark and damp and smelt of mold and moths. Delvos stepped into the darkness anyways. “Well, girl, you coming or aren’t you?” I could see his yellowed tobacco teeth form into a slimy smile as I stepped out of the sun. It was still inside. The canary chirped. “This tunnel is just the mouth to over two hundred others exactly like it. Stay close. Last thing I need this month is National Geographic on my *** for losing one of their puppet girls.” “Delvos, ****. I have two masters degrees.” He rolled his eyes. “Spare me.” He trotted off around the corner to the left, whistling. “I survived alone in the jungles of Bolivia alone for two months chasing an Azara’s Spinetail. I climbed the tallest mountain in Nepal shooting Satyr Tragopans along the cliff faces. In Peru I…” Suddenly I felt the weight of the darkness. In my blinding anger I lost track of his lantern. I stopped, my heartbeat picked up, and I tried to remind myself of what I did in Peru. I followed a Diurnal Peruvian Pygmy-Owl across the gravel tops of the Andes Mountains, no light but the Southern Cross and waning moon above. I am not scared of darkness. I am not scared of darkness. I stopped to listen. Somewhere in front of me the canary chirped.

When I first got the job in Vermont I couldn’t have been more frustrated. Mining canaries? Never had I ever ‘chased’ a more mundane bird. Nonetheless, when Jack Reynolds sends you on a shoot you don’t say no, so I packed up my camera bag and hoped on the next plane out of Washington. “His name is John Delvos.” Jack said. He handed me the manila case envelope. “He’s lived in rural Vermont his entire life. Apparently his family bred the canaries for the miners of the Sheldon Quarry since the early twenties. When the accident happened the whole town basically shut down. There were no canaries in the mines the day the gas killed the miners. His mother died in a fire of some sort shortly after. The town blamed the Delvos family and ran them into the woods. His father built a cabin and once his father died, Delvos continued to breed the birds. He ships them to other mining towns across the country now. We want to run a piece about the inhumanity of breeding animals to die so humans won’t.” I stood in silence in front of his deep mahogany desk, suddenly aware of the lack of make-up on my face. He smiled, “You’re leaving on Tuesday.” “Yes sir.” “Don’t look so smug, Lila. This may not be the most exotic bird you’ve shot but the humanity of this piece has the potential to be a cover story. Get the shots, write the story.”

“Do you understand the darkness now, Ms. Rivers? Your prestigious masters degrees don’t mean **** down here.” Delvos reappeared behind the crack of his match in a side tunnel not twenty yards in front of me. He relit the oily lantern and turned his back without another word. I reluctantly followed deeper into the damp darkness. “Why were there no canaries in the mine on, you know, that day?” The shadows of the lantern flickered against the iron canary cage chained on his hip and the yellow bird hopped inside. “I was nine, Ms. Rivers. I didn’t understand much at the time.” We turned right into the next tunnel and our shoes crunched on jagged stones. All the stones were black. “But surely you understand now?” The canary chirped.

When I first got to Sheldon and began asking about the location of the Delvos’ cabin you would have thought I was asking where the first gate to hell was located. Mothers would smile and say, “Sorry, Miss, I can’t say,” and hurriedly flock their children in the opposite direction. After two hours of polite refusals I gave up. I spent the rest of the first day photographing the town square. It was quaint; old stone barbershops surrounded by oaks and black squirrels, a western themed whiskey bar, and a few greasy spoon restaurants interspersed in-between. I booked a room in the Walking Horse Motel for Wednesday night, determined to get a good nights sleep and defeat this towns fear of John Delvos tomorrow. My room was a tiny one bed square with no TV. Surprise, surprise. At least I had my camera and computer to entertain myself. I reached into the side of my camera bag and pulled out my Turkish Golds and Macaw-beak yellow BIC. I stepped out onto the dirt in front of my door and lit up. I looked up and the stars stole all the oxygen surrounding me. They were dancing and smiling above me and I forgot Delvos, Jack, and all of Sheldon except it’s sky. Puffing away, I stepped farther and farther from my door and deeper into the darkness of night. The father into the darkness the more dizzying the stars dancing became. “Ma’am? Everything okay?” Startled, I dropped my cigarette on the ground and the ember fell off. “I’m sorry, sir. I was just, um, the stars…” I snuffed out the orange glow in the dirt with my boot and extended my hand, “Lila Waters, and you are?” “Ian Benet. I haven’t seen you around here before, Ms. Waters, are you new to town?” “I’m here for work. I’m a bird photographer and journalist for National Geographic. I’m looking for John Delvos but I’m starting to think he’s going to be harder to track than a Magpie Robin.” The stars tiptoed in their tiny circles above in the silence. Then, they disappeared with a spark as Ian lit up his wooden pipe. It was a light colored wood, stained with rich brown tobacco and ash. He passed me his matches, smiling. “What do you want with that old *******? Don’t tell me National Geographic is interested in the Delvos canaries.” I lit up another stick and took a drag. “Shocking, right?” “Actually, it’s about time their story is told.” Benet walked to the wooden bench to our left and patted the seat beside him. I walked over. “The Delvos canaries saved hundreds of Sheldonian lives over the years. But the day a crew went into the mines without one, my father came out of the ground as cold as when we put him back into it in his coffin.” I sat in silence, unsure what to say. “Mr. Benet, I’m so sorry…” “Please, just Ian. My father was the last Mr. Benet.” We sat on the wooden bench, heat leaving our bodies to warm the dead wood beneath our legs. I shivered; the stars dance suddenly colder and more violent. “Delvos canaries are martyrs, Ms. Waters. This whole town indebted to those tiny yellow birds, but nobody cares to remember that anymore.” “Can you tell me where I can find Mr. Delvos and his, erm, martyrs?” The ember of my second cigarette was close to my pinching fingertips. “Follow me.” Ian stood up and walked to the edge of the woods in front of us. We crunched the cold dust beneath our feet, making me aware of how silent it was. Ian stopped at a large elm and pointed, “See that yellow notch?” Sure enough, there was a notch cut and dyed yellow at his finger’s end. “If you follow true north from this tree into the woods you’ll find this notch about every fifty yards or so. Follow the yellow and it’ll spit you out onto the Delvos property.” “Thank you, Ian. I really can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am to find out where to find this elusive Mr. Delvos and his canaries.” “You don’t have to,” he knocked the ash out of his pipe against the tree, “Just do those birds justice in your article. Remember, martyrs. Tell old Delvos Ian Benet sends his regards.” He turned and walked back to the motel and I stood and watched in silence. It was then I realized I hadn’t heard a single bird since I got to Sheldon. The stars dance was manic above me as I walked back to my room and shut the door.

The canary chirped and Delvos stopped. “This is a good place to break out fast. Sit.” I sat obediently, squirming around until the rocks formed a more comfortable nest around my bony hips. We left for the mines as the stars were fading in the vermillion Vermont sky this morning and had been walking for what seemed like an eternity. I was definitely ready to eat. He handed me a gallon Ziploc bag from his backpack filled with raisins, nuts, various dried fruits, and a stiff piece of bread. I attacked the food like a raven. “I was the reason no canaries entered the mines that day, Ms. Waters.” Delvos broke a piece of his bread off and wrapped it around a dried piece of apricot, or maybe apple. I was suddenly aware of my every motion and swallowed, loudly. I crinkled into my Ziploc and crunched on the pecans I dug out, waiting. “Aren’t you going to ask why?” “I’m not a parrot, Mr. Delvos, I don’t answer expectedly on command. You’ll tell me if you want.” I hurriedly stuffed a fistful of dried pears into my mouth. Delvos chuckled and my nerves eased, “You’ve got steel in you, Ms. Rivers, I’ll give you that much.” I nodded and continued cramming pears in my mouth. “I was only nine. The canaries were my pets, all of them. I hated when Dad would send them into the mines to die for men I couldn’t give two ***** about. It was my birthday and I asked for an afternoon of freedom with my pets and Dad obliged. I was in the aviary with pocketfuls of sunflower-seeds. Whenever I threw a handful into the air above me, the air came to life with flickering yellow brushes and songs of joy. It was the happiest I have ever been, wholly surrounded and protected by my friends. Around twelve thirty that afternoon the Sheriff pulled up, lights ablaze. The blue and red lights stilled my yellow sky to green again and that’s when I heard the shouting. He cuffed my Dad on the hood of the car and Mom was crying and pushing her fists into the sheriff’s chest. I didn’t understand at all. The Sheriff ended up putting Mom in the car too and they all left me in the aviary. I sat there until around four that afternoon before they sent anyone to come get me.” Delvos took a small bite of his bread and chewed a moment. “No matter how many handfuls of seeds I threw in the air after that, the birds wouldn’t stir. They wouldn’t even sing. I think they knew what was happening.” I was at a loss for words so of course I blurted, “I didn’t see an aviary at your house…” Delvos laughed. “Someone burnt down the house I was raised in the next week while we were sleeping. Mom died that night. The whole dark was burning with screams and my yellow canaries were orange and hot against the black sky. That’s the only night I’ve seen black canaries and the only night I’ve heard them scream.” I swallowed some mixed nuts and they rubbed against my dry throat. “They never caught the person. A week later Dad took the remainder of the birds and we marched into the woods. We worked for months clearing the land and rebuilding our lives. We spent most of the time in silence, except for the canary cries. When the house was finally built and the birds little coops were as well, Dad finally talked. The only thing he could say was ‘Canaries are not the same as a Phoenix, John. Not the same at all.” The canary chirped, still only visible by the lanterns flame. Not fully yellow, I realized, here in the mines, but not fully orange either.

When I first walked onto John Delvos’ property on Thursday morning he was scattering feed into the bird coops in the front of his cabin. Everything was made of wood and still wet with the morning’s dew. “Mr. Delvos?” He spun around, startled, and walked up to me a little too fast. “Why are you here? Who are you?” “My name is Lila Waters, sir, I am a photographer and journalist for National Geographic Magazine and we are going to run an article on your canaries.” “Not interested” “Please, sir, can I ask you just a few quick questions as take a couple pictures of your, erm, martyrs?” His eyes narrowed and he walked up to me, studying my face with an intense, glowering gaze. He spit a mouthful of dip onto the ground without breaking eye contact. I shifted my camera bag’s weight to the other shoulder. “Who told you to call them that?” “I met Ian Benet last night, he told me how important your birds are to this community, sir. He sends his regards.” Delvos laughed and motioned for me to follow as he turned his back. “You can take pictures but I have to approve which ones you publish. That’s my rule.” “Sir, it’s really not up to me, you see, my boss, Jack Reynolds, is one of the CEO’s for the magazine and he...” “Those are my rules, Ms. Waters.” He turned and picked back up the bucket of seed and began to walk back to the birds. “You want to interview me then we do it in the mine. Be back here at four thirty in the morning.” “Sir…?” “Get some sleep, Ms. Waters. You’ll want to be rested for the mine.” He turned, walked up his wooden stairs, and closed the door to his cabin. I was left alone in the woods and spent the next hour snapping pictures of the little, yellow canaries in their cages. I took a couple pictures of his house and the surrounding trees, packed up my camera and trekked back to my motel.

“You finished yet?” Delvos stood up and the memory of his green and brown wooded homestead fled from my memory as the mine again consumed my consciousness. Dark, quiet, and stagnant. I closed the Ziploc and stuffed the bag, mainly filled with the raisins I sifted through, into my pocket. Delvos grunted and the canary flapped in its cage as he stood again and, swinging the lantern, rounded another corner. The path we were on began to take a noticeable ***** downward and the moisture on the walls and air multiplied. The canary chirped. The lantern flickered against the moist, black stones, sleek and piled in the corners we past. The path stopped ahead at a wall of solid black and brown Earth. The canary chirped twice. It smelt of clay and mildew and Delvos said, “Go on, touch it.” I reached my hand out, camera uselessly hanging like a bat over my shoulder. The rock was cold and hard. It felt dead. The Canary was flitting its wings in the cage now, chirping every few seconds. “This is the last tunnel they were digging when the gas under our feet broke free from hell and killed those men.” Delvos hoisted the lantern above our heads, illuminating the surrounding gloom. All was completely still and even my own vapor seemed to fall out of my mouth and simply die. The canary was dancing a frantic jig, now, similar to the mating dance of the Great Frigate Bird I shot in the Amazon jungle. As I watched the canary and listened to its small wings beat against the cold metal cage I begin to feel dizzy. The bird’s cries had transformed into a scream colder than fire and somehow more fierce. The ability to fly is what always made me jealous of birds as a child, but as my temple throbbed and the canary danced I realized I was amiss. Screaming, yellow feathers whipped and the entire inside of the cage was instantaneously filled. It was beautiful until the very end. Dizzying, really. Defeated, the canary sank to the floor, one beaten wing hanging out of the iron bars at a most unnatural angle. Its claws were opening and closing, grasping the tainted cave air, or, perhaps, trying to push it away. Delvos unclipped the cage and sat it on the floor in the space between us, lantern still held swaying above his head. The bird was aflame now, the silent red blood absorbing into the apologetic, yellow feathers. Orange, a living fire. I pulled out my camera as I sat on the ground beside the cage. I took a few shots, the camera’s clicks louder than the feeble chirps sounding out of the canary’s tattered, yellow beak. My head was spinning. Its coal-black eyes reflected the lantern’s flame above. I could see its tiny, red tongue in the bottom of its mouth. Opening. Closing. Opening, wider, too wide, then, Silence.

I felt dizzy. I remember feeling the darkness surround me; it felt warm.

“I vaguely remember Delvos helping me to my feet, but leaving the mine was a complete haze.” I told the panel back in D.C., “It wasn’t until we had crossed the stream on the way back to the cabin that I began to feel myself again. Even then, I felt like I was living a dream. When we got back to the cabin the sight of the lively yellow canaries in their coops made me cry. Delvos brought me a bottle of water and told me I needed to hit the trail because the sun set early in the winter, so I le

I swallowed her and nowShe lives inside me or I liveThrough her, we are alive.I’m her friend, her teenage And fantasies, a sixty year old-Hair and books she ever readLong distance phone callsAnd delight matched ourLove for Sujata, Mr And Mrs IyerAnd I sat on her couch on my Despised vacations sketchingLetters to Milena, Quabbani And we spoke of her brothers,Generations and cafes I went.I’m Delhi, Bangalore and Endless conversations-She never met and she’s myLost Malayalam, postcards and A world so familiar, a childhood.

Hold your breath and relaxI’m going to stay and listenTill you are out of stories andI repeat, remind and you smile.I’ll get you melodies and 60sHarold Robbins and Nutan,Your weirdness and aloofness. You don’t grow old with meI’ll live, I promise as your fontsVisit places you walked and Write to you all, deep- blueLetters, deep- blue-letters.You are my first high-heelsStrawberry fields and music systemI’ll recite you a love storyPicture him as our classic heroesAnd giggle as girls sixteen andSeventeen. You swallowed meAnd I live through you, we’re alive.

(description of storyline: all characters in this work are dragons, with the ability to change into a human form. they live in present day society, but have a base in the middle of the desert. there is a library with the history of the world, which is operated by stacra, an organization to preserve the peace in the world. there is a rival organization, the dracra, who wish to take it over. the dracra is led by a dragon named Darkheart, a dragon who has haunted the Scar line for millenia.)"... sahsa...."what was that mumbled sasha, a small town girl in modern day USA. she was nearly asleep when the voice called to her.sasha was usually described as a freak. she was a dragon fanatic, and she carried her favorite books wherever she went, Brink of Insanity: journal of the Wild and the Broken; and its companion, Blood curse: journal of the Destroyer and the Savage. they told of dragons living in new york who had to bear a family curse and sought a way to release it. the author was only known as "Lucian"."....sasha...."i'm sure i heard it that time..."....come to me sasha...."she didnt know why but she felt as if she absolutely had to find the source. she was barely clothed but quietly snuck out, leaving small footprints in the snow."....sasha!...."she felt panicked. as the voice grew louder so did her heart, beating quickly in her ears. some sort of animal instinct took over and she somehow Managed to run on all fours. her whole body began tingling, her skin writhing. she looked back and nearly choked: wings and a tail... had grown from her body. her whole body turned white as scales etched their way into life over her skin. her body began elongating and enlarging, becoming streamlined and lizardlike. she was transforming..."...yes!... just as you said, master....""...quiet, kovu..."sashas vision went dark as she stumbled, barrelling through the snow. when she looked up, she saw an enormous dragon, with scars just like the ones in her book. "she will be a fine student."sasha was dumbfounded as she saw her parents walk up behind them. "greetings, master Lucian, kovu." said her father."and you, rydon.""y-you...know...?" stammered sasha."all will be explained in the morning, sasha," replied her mother.sasha felt tired and her eyes shut as the ground came up to meet her.sasha sat alone at the picnic table, surrounded by lucian, her father rydon, her mother sophia, and kovu. "so... you're all.... dragons.... like in my books..." she gestured to the two books.lucian stepped forward and placed a hand on the books. his hand glowed and the glossy books turned to worn, leather journals. "yes, we are dragons. sasha. and you have done well guarding my journals.""your... journals? but i thought that these were best-selling novels..."lucian chuckled, "no no. young one, there are only two other copies of each of these in existence.""wow..."her father spoke up now, "so what are you here for, master? is it time for her to leave us?""leave?! what do you mean leave?!"rydon looked worriedly at lucian and then at sasha,"you are dragon, and it is tradition for you to be trained.""but what if i dont want to leave?!"her father began to become angry,"its not your choice!""then whose-"lucian's eyes glowed red in anger, "rydon, haven't you taught your daughter respect? surely you would know of my ways by now."rydon nodded, "i- i'm sorry, master. i don't know whats come over her."sasha ran, shifting to her new dragon form and flying away. darkheart had warned her of this, that lucian was a dictatoria leader. she asked herself, "why had her father taken his side? why did this have to happen so suddenly? and most of all, what was she going to do next?"darkheart had given her directions to meet her after lucian made contact. sasha flew, tired as she was not used to the extra limbs.once she reached the spot that darkheart had told her, she waited and thought things through.once darkheart arrived, she spoke, "i want to join you. i beleive everything you've said."darkheart chuckled, "i knew you would dear girl, lucian is the same as his grandfather, they both hounded me and tortured me, for their own twisted ways. i've tried to keep as many as possible from falling into their cluthces. i wasn't able to **** scarheart, as he captured me and forced me into his own body as an energy slave. he tortured me even there, and after he died, lucian, his grandson, got me. he too tortured me."sasha looked at her in sock, "thats terrible. i didnt know...""you couldnt have, darling. those evil dragons keep everything from those who should know."sasha stood, "i want to be trained. by you.""really? i warn you, it is quite tough. not all survive. you must be willing to do whatever it takes to stop those vile dragons."* * * 3 years latersasha was 20 years old, and it was time for her to take on her first big mission: infiltrate lucian's schol and learn everything she could.sasha had already talked to lucian, apologizing for her behavior so long ago. lucian had seemed hesitant but allowed her in. foolish old bat. she thought. she had been at the compund for a year and a half now and had become familiar with their ways. sasha would often wonder why she was doing this, and she remembered, darkheart had said that lucian killed sashs's father. she always looked at him with scorn and wished to **** him. but she restrained herself and kept on the facade.today she felt especially hating towards every master she came in contact with. she passed tsai, lucian's right hand dragon, as he went to talk with the master. she tried to eavesdrop but they were speaking in an ancient, coded language. she growled and her white scales flashed in the sun.

"Lucian, somethings not right about that youngling sasha... she's always watching us, like she's gathering information.""yes, tsai, i know. i know exactly what she is.""what?" tsai looked skeptical."she's an agent, an informant. for darkheart."tsai stared, incredulous."wha?! how do you know?!""ive been under the influence of darkheart before, as have you. something about sasha is of darkheart's doing."tsai nodded "even still, is she possessed by her or under orders?"lucian thought for a moment "i beleive under orders..."both stared as lucian's son, kovu, walked up to sasha.* * "sasha! hi!" kovu had taken a liking to sasha since his father took her as an apprentice."oh, um. hi. kovu..." *i cant let my emotions get in the way of my mission! "how have you been?" sasha felt herself blush under the gaze of the drake. he wasnt half-bad to look at, and she often caught herself watching him."i'm doing great, training with tsai is always fun. what about you and master lucian?"her eyes darted to her master, her target, then back at kovu. "you mean you're... dad?""yeah... my dad... but we students can only call them by their designation. even master scaleweaver calls some elders master."sasha's ears pricked up as she heard scaleweaver's name. she was assigned to gather information on all of the masters. i must make madame darkheart proud... i am worthy... she must see that..."is... something wrong, sasha?"she caught herself, "n-no i'm just tired is all... just tired..."her master lucian came toward her what a fool, he doesnt even know about me... "sasha, i need to speak with you.... alone."kovu difpped his head and backed away respectfully."sasha, come."she swallowed her pride and said, "yes... master..." and followed him.once they were outside, lucian turned to her and said, "i know, sasha. i know that darkheart sent u here to gather information on us."sasha's eyes widened and her mouth dropped. she thought hard how?! how does he know?! this cant be possible...."i-i dont know what youre talking about, master..."lucian turned on her with a peircing gaze, and made her wince as he studied her. "there are better ways to lie, youngling... but not to me. ive known for quite some time now."sasha felt her legs give out beneath her. she sat, looking into the dust, listening incredulously at lucian. "how... how do you know?!?!"sasha ran forward, clawing at lucian's throat. she was instantly frozen in place, an immensely strong spell holding her legs in place. "let me go, lucian!""its master to you, youngling. and why would i let you go? you just tried to **** me." sasha struggled helplessly against her bonds. she saw lucian mutter something and felt her legs grow suddenly cold. she looked and gasped as ice started to creep up her haunches."lucia-master, please let me go... i was only under orders."lucian chuckled, "how did darkheart get to you?""i can't tell you...""oh? then let me guess; theres another informant, a higher up in stacra, who told darkheart about you and she arrived, possibly a week before us? she fed you a story of stacra destroying the world and trying to take over the one that they created. she told you that she was only trying to help restore order. am i close?"sasha felt naked under the gaze of the elder, who saw straight through her act and through her commander's plan. it made her heart quicken and her scales writhe. she felt a sharp pain as the ice crept up and chilled her thighs, creeping steadily upwards. "how... how can you know these things?! darkheart said you wouldnt be able to know... she said that you held her prisoner... that you tortured her... she said that you- you killed my father."lucian shook his head and wiped something from his face, revealing gruesome scars. "she altered her face to look like mine... look, and know the truth." he placed a claw on her forehead and she gasped as a flood of memories flooded her, darkheart inside lucian's mind, taking over him, taunting him, and forcing him to do terrible things. she heard lucian say, "she tortured me, she held me captive. its true that stacra destroyed the world, but look also;" she saw the corrupt government of old, and their wretched attrocities. "they brought about their own destruction. we created the world you know, but dont wish it to be taken over, we merely want peace...We act as peacekeepers. darkheart seeks to enslave all to do her bidding. and your father died at darkheart's talons, not mine." sasha saw a gruesome scene as lucian tried to save her father.she felt him withdraw, and felt the magic and ice withdraw from her, the ice's touch fading from her ****. she shivered and crouched low, warming her body."sasha, darkheart is a liar... she's been at it for thousands of years." he watched her shiver and said. "come, sit around the fire."sasha noddded and followed close behind lucian, hiding her vulnerable state."i'm sorry, master.""all will be okay, sasha... all will be fine.."lucian brought sasha into his study under his wing. he had her sit down in front of the fire and draped a blanket over her. he sat down behind her, looking over the latest reports, waiting for her to speak. after a few minutes she sighed and looked back at lucian, tears forming in her eyes. "is everything you said true? Is darkheart nothing but a deceptionist?"lucian looked up at her and nodded. "all of it was true. I'm sorry, sasha. darkheart is a gifted deceptionist and many of us have fallen for her tricks. including me."sasha turned back and looked into the fire with sad eyes, tears rolling down her cheek. she shuddered and took a shaky breath. lucian came up beside her and placed a comforting paw on her shoulder."darkheart forced me to **** my best friend... a she-drake named Clia... in front of her other followers to show that we must be able to turn on anyone to fulfill the mission..."lucian nodded, "so I had heard... darkheart has become more cruel than ever.""l-lucian, what can i do to make her pay?"lucian thought for a while and then shook his head. "let me think more on this, sasha. for now, let no one know that you are an affiliate of darkheart, it could have deadly consequence. you may remain in here if you wish, or you may return to your own quarters. i have some things to attend to."sasha nodded to him and gasped as everything went still and dimmed, even the fire seemed grey and frozen."wha-""sasha... you must tell me now, will you work with me?"she was stunned. "where are you? what do you mean?""you want to get back at her, i know how to. but you must tell me if you will work with me.""i-i will, lucian. but whhy ask now, and in this way?""because, there is someone here, that is going to try to **** you. he was listening to us and is going to attack you with magic. ive cast a spell that will give an apearance of death. just let the magic do its stuff and u'll do fine">"but wait!""you must trust me, sasha."all of a sudden, everything went back to normal, and lucian was gone, she could hear his fading footsteps.what was that abou- wait! the killer... she kept facing the fire and listened as she had been taught to the clawsteps of the incoming dragon."is it true? you're one of them?!"sasha turned and gasped, flashing him a shocked, innocent look over her shoulder. "what are you talking about, kovu?"he was angry, and she was struck with fear. "i overheard you and lucian talking. i heard everything."sasha turned to face him."y-you, heard everything...""then you are one of them! i cant beleive it... i cant beleive i trusted you."kovu stepped forward and sasha's eyes shifted, trying to find a way out. "kovu, i- i can explain.""you're nothing but a trickster, a deceptress! dont try to talk me out of this."her heartbeat quickened, stricken with dread. "out of... out of what, kovu?"he said nothing but uttered the death spell.* * sasha let herself go, remembering lucian's spell. but as she did so, she thought about why she was doing this. *to make darkheart suffer... she heard lucian in her mind. "you'll be going to death-sleep for a while, a few days to make it beleivable. now sleep, sasha... sleep and i will awaken you soon.""o-okay, master lucian...""there is no need to call me master anymore, sasha. from now on, you no longer exist. which is why darkheart will never see you coming. its time... dont worry."the death-sleep overcame her and she fell to darkness.* * *lucian ran downstairs and saw kovu standing over sasha's body. he put on a facade of dread and said, "kovu.... what have you done?!"kovu looked at lucian angrily. "you were going to harbor a killer... i took care of the problem."lucian became angry now, "no, you made more problems. you didnt think... you didnt listen. she was willing to help."kovu snarled at lucian, "i did what needed to be done. I killed her for you, father."lucian responded quietly, "you killed a helpless dragoness in cold blood. i have no choice but to arrest you for ******, my son." he muttered a binding spell and blocked kovu's magic. he watched kovu struggle for a moment then went to pick up sasha's seemingly lifeless body. he contacted her mentally, saying, "i'm taking your body in to the infirmary, i'll oversee your examination. in 2 days, i will wake you, when i do, be very quiet.""yes, sir."sasha's new appearance was stunning, quite different from the black color of her original scales, she now looked like each scale was a glittering saphire, and her horns and underside were now a shimmering silver. sasha was astonished by what lucian had done, he had also changed her voice and form, making her more slender and agile, he altered her voice in such a way that it seemed that she could charm the heart out of a rock. even lucian who had a mate of his own had to keep himself composed. but he was undoubtedly pleased that things were turning out well. lucian had to change everything about her, her eyes now a deep green, her draconic fingerprint being her tail-tip and spine, were changed to furry mane and a slender diamond tip.she looked at herself in amirror and remarked how mature she looked."you may have to be put in certain situations which may have you exploit some... erm... feminine charms.""so i'll have to....""only if you let it go that far. it depends on you. you said that you'd do anything to get back at darkheart. these matters are up to your own discretion."she thought long about this. "i want to g

We were misfitsthe neglected ******* of a backwards world that rejected us not because we were sickdemented or dangerous but because we didn't prescribe to a preconceived notion of what a functioning citizen was.

Not rotten enough to spoil behind the bars of a prison just competent enough to work menial jobs and drown our sorrows at the corner pub.

We swallowed this hard truth the same way we drank our shots with no chaserand at times it burntmaybe even made us tear upbut we never let it beat us(too strong for that)

We were beautifulresilient beasts that could carry the weight of the world upon our shouldersand it was heavy but we would tell ourselves "doesn't every world need an atlas?" so we went on holding up the skywhen no one asked it of us.

The sky is gone, and the waters roll and rise.I watch the stars fall, having lost their place and purpose.A million silver cinders of light,raining down upon a water and a world of black.I watch each drop,each icy ember,collide with waves of dark, and melt away into the rippling nothing.

The sea has swallowed the sky.

My lungs are filled with the horror of a world without light or solid ground.Screams churn in my stomach and rise to my chest,racing for the surface of my thinning breath.But the cries have drownedbefore they are rescued by my lips.All I have are whispers, the ghosts of words that used to be.

The sea has swallowed me.

Where are you,now that the stars and all their songs have ceased,now that the deep silence has silenced me?I taste the gall of bitter waitingand whither under waves of softly spoken fears.My eyes search a grave,where the horizon used to be,before the sky had vanished,where the morning I used to see.

But are those footsteps falling on the water?Does even the night obey your word?Does even silence speak your name,and even the nothing, stir, when you are heard?Are those footsteps falling on the water? Is that music in the dark?Do even rushing waters cry your glory and breaking waves declare who you are?Are those footsteps falling on the water?

i swallowed a butterfly,to see what it's like to fall in loveshe readily confided in me"my love, your heart will find an escapeunanticipated, unforeseenwrapped in a tight embraceside by side, one content soullifetimes before, you sufferedinfected with lies, deceits, and cheatsbut you have a pretty, scarred heartbut i promise, you'll quietly be cured."

since then, i've invited that butterfly in...

i swallowed a butterfly,to see what it's like to fall in loveshe acts up, in the middle of the daydiving, from shoulder to hipbreathlessly, twisting up my lungsfluttering wings, at any given momentshe recognizes your nameand surely your voiceshe reminds me of your presenceand she too, longs for your absense

since then, i've invited that butterfly in...

i swallowed a butterfly,to see what it's like to fall in loveand greedily treated myself to moreso you could find them with your touchher wings are quicker than i imaginedchilling the weak spots on my neckcradling words that hopefully sufficecaressing moments that make me smilestill...

The Great Flood swallowed up the dark hosts and guests,They had played havoc to His holy Sanctuary:Pigs and snakes had their ransom set at stake,Mimicry and mockery of His Plan had played rampant,They had believed in the knowledge of wealth and pleasures,They had stamped the wisdom from Above,They had swallowed the poison of the forbidden fruit,And had shrouded themselves with the attire of the serpent.But the Great Flood buried them with their wealth and pleasures;Yet the chosen ones were left in the Ark of Christ.

The serpent propped his head with venom on earth,And he laid the red carpet on the way of mankind.He crowned mankind with knowledge and philosophies,And man multiplied his generation with multiple deformities.He broke the Chain of Heaven and built chasm with the serpent.

‘Let us build a tower of protection from a great flood,And shake the scepter of Heaven WHO shook our wealth and pleasures,Let us call our king of the chasm and teach a lesson to Heaven.Let us be united with one tongue to combat the Mighty Power,Let our tongue be the whip of unity and take revenge ‘gainst HIM,For He hath killed our ancestors who had strolled in wealth and pleasures.Let us make the world ring into philosophies and superstition,And found an empire on the logic of the skeptic ruler of earth,Let us proclaim the tongue of the universe and rule the cosmos,Let us make new creed and dogmas with the altar full of aroma.The tower shall be the lasting umbrella beneath the flood of rains,And we shall not be swallowed by the wrath of Heaven,And He shall be ashamed of His act against His creatures.’

‘Let English rule the cosmos and reach the unreachable,And all nations bind together with the knot of communication.Let the Chinese prepare war; let the Japanese trigger robots;Let the Europeans stroll in their obsolete glory;Let the Africans brandish the swords made of bamboos;Let the Indians realize ‘unity in diversity’.We shall build an empire on English and bring unity,And the cosmos shall utter the word of globalization,And here, let us, believe in the strength on universality.We shall reach the sky high above the clouds of rainAnd rule the moisture and the breeze and save the earth from floods.’

They shoot arrows in the air in void and vain,They shout of universality breaking the ties of individuality,They remind the tower of Babel, and boast of their weakly strength,They launch satellites and missiles and build the space centre.They install the globalized lingua franca into computers,They raise the flag of ‘victory’ and shout at laugh at ‘defeats’;But they know not what victory and defeats are.They land on the tower of Babel and brandish their swords,They drown in the quagmire of sensuality and drink pleasure,They build castles on the summit of terrorism.The game of death hath begun, and every soul counts its days.‘Where shall I go? What shall be unto me? What is the earth’s destiny?’Questions arise from the deep of the deepest looking for answers.The world studies mundane philosophies, but fails to understand the WORD:‘Heaven and earth pass away, but MY Words never live from Eternity to Eternity.”

A comparison between the tower of Babel and the globalization of English.

It was one of those clear,sharp.mustless days That summer and man delight in.Never had Heaven seemed quite so high,Never had earth seemed quite so green,Never had the world seemed quite so cleanOr sky so nigh. And I heard the Deity’s voice in

I looked to the heavens and saw him there,— A black speck downward drifting,Nearer and nearer he steadily sailed,Nearer and nearer he slid through space,In an unending aerial race, This sailor who hailed From the Clime of the Clouds.—Ever shifting,

On billows of air And the blue sky seemed never so fair,And the rest of the world kept pace.

3

On the white of his head the sun flashed bright; And he battled the wind with wide pinions,Clearer and clearer the gale whistled loud,Clearer and clearer he came into view,—Bigger and blacker against the blue. Then a dragon of cloud Gathering all its minions Rushed to the fight, And swallowed him up in a bite;And the sky lay empty clear through.

4

Long I watched. And at last afar Caught sight of a speck in the vastness;Ever smaller,ever decreasing,Ever drifting,drifting awayInto the endless realms of day; Finally ceasing. So into Heaven’s vast fastness Vanished that barOf black,as a fluttering starGoes out while still on its way.

5

So I lost him. But I shall always see In my mindThe warm,yellow sun,and the ether free;The vista’s sky,and the white cloud trailing, Trailing behind,—And below the young earth’s summer-green arbors,And on high the eagle,—sailing,sailing Into far skies and unknown harbors

My eyes all over her curves, as I observe. Conversation shorter than sure. Flirted with our eyes, now our hands asking for more.

I started ******* on her lips, now they were my own, Kissing on my tongue, turned my tongue to her clone. Pulling her into my hips, like I wanted to bone.Sending shivers up and down her backbone,

I could feel her body shiver, as she rubbed it against my hard bone.looked deep into her eyes and she moaned and groaned. I filled my mouth with the taste of her own, swallowed her lips with my mouth, as she moaned. As we kissed on each other, the moment kept getting better. Her body language making a point, leading me on - very clever. the deeper we got, she got even wetter.

Her erogenous zone, and other places to be known - got me harder than a stone, my head spinning like a cyclone - as I endured her weather. My fingers wore her scent like cologne. wet as a puddle, I want to play in forever.

She, lost in the pleasure. This love session close to closure the further they go. As much as she wants to, her body can never say no.

I found you in the cracks of winter. On our first date, we drank tea from cups bigger than our faces. You also told me you wrote poetry. I noticed how every time you would lick your lips before you would speak. The first time you read me a poem your window was open and it was raining. Your voice cracked and you cleared your throat six times. I was smitten. After our third date, I showed you my favorite place in the world. I took you to a bay on the outskirts of town. I told you the stories I carved into the sand a long time ago. I told you I came here every time the world kept turning but I felt as though I've fallen off, waiting for a guitar solo crash or a midnight knock on my window.

I wanted to tell you, you were my midnight knock. You let me hold your book of poems that night. There were bite marks in them from when you said you climbed up in trees back when you were as tall as the kitchen counter. We had conversations of Bon Iver and soccer as we laid on the sandy bay.

I realized that night I wanted to be there with you when the clock swallows up your time and watch indie movies on Netflix when there is nothing good on TV. I turned to look into space and swallowed all my feelings. I felt hollow when I looked at you and noticed your skin was old and tired. But you looked at me like you were young. You said I was the first to make you feel this way. I was smitten.

At first, I looked at you like a star but ended up seeing the whole solar system.

Sphincter factor nine approachesfood for the fish n roachesmethinks its time for me perhapsto open up the rearward *****.

------------------------------------AAChoo !!

Oh, liddle sister, Josephine,you sure don't keep your nose real clean.got stalactites o' pure pea greenmy infectious sibling snot machine.----------------------------------------I thought that I might shoot the breezewith God or Mephistophelesand ask them please to ease my wheezeof my bad back and dodgy knees---------------------------Croak with the ravenbluff with the crowthe urchin the field mousebeneath the hedgerowin a flurry they scurryaway away go.Yelp with the *****howl with the houndand bay at the moontill the sun comes around.------------------------------------------Gino's bar and grill.

Away, away afore Bacchusdoles out befuddlement and Morpheus has his way,lest I awake to find myself in the company ofsodamistic bedfellowswith buggery in mind.---------------------------------Harry Potter has grown a beardhe lives alone and turned out weird.Dumbledore, Albus, no moreturned his toes and 'ad a snore,Voldemort, who's *** is tauthas no nose with which to snort.====================

Ahem !!

Behind two Lilies- sits Rose,then Daisies for two and a bit rows.with Poppy, and *****Petunia, Primrose.and Bryony - who gets up- my nose.----------------------------------------------Amen.God bless the Cows - for beef burgers. God bless the Pig - for their bacon.God bless the wife n her sharp knifefor the slice of their **** she's taken.

-------------------------------------------------We can, no more fetter the sea to the shorenor the clouds to the sky or tether the glintin a lovers eye, As sure the shore loves the seaso shall I love thee, together,together for eternity,

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It bends for theesweet chevin,the cane thats cleavedby three,wilt thou nowsweet chevinyield, my friend , for me.-------------------------------------------------There's Marmalade then Marmiteand Jams thats jammed betweenthe buttered bread of bard-dom a poets sweet cuisine. ---------------------------------------------I took up campanology and fired up my ****.I rang that bell to ******* helltill the busiescame along.--------------------------------------------so, I've been whittling away at a buoyant ****-fashioned something approximating a poo canoe- in it, I intend tosurf the **** tsunami of old ageto-- death; I have named it Public - Service - Pension.

----------------------------------------------

A surreptitious delightful tryst,with my honey, my sebaceous cyst.she's my pimple, my wart,my gumboil consort.she's the zip, in whichmy *******, got caught.--------------------------------------Frayed at the bottomsripped at the knee.baggy and saggybig enough for three.faded and jadedand stained with ***but I'm due for a new pair--Yippeeeee!!

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Ther­e's Cockerel in my earand he bills and coo's for youwhenever you are neargoes - **** a doodle doo !!!!!,,,,,,,,

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Oh,­ for the snap shut skinin the blue twang of youth and to un-crack the spineon the book of love.now the gulping yearshave flown awaywe take sips of the nightand are spoon fed the day.

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Zeus made the Moose to be somewhat obtuse,a big deer- rather queer- I fear.then God gave him the nod to look funny and oddthe spitting image of you - my dear !!!

---------------------------------------

Knobbly Nobby.

Nobby has a great big nosea great big nose has he,and nobby knowsthat his big nose,is big, as big can be,nobby has two knobbly kneestwo knobbly knees has he,his knobbly knees,are as knobelyas knobbly knees can be,don’t pity dear old nobby for soon it’s plain to see,that nobby has a great big ****as big, as big as three !now nobbys **** is knobly,as knobly as a **** can be,so nose and knee and ****make three,and we - are ****- ely.

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The Woman that wouldn't eat meat,had reeaally, reeaally big feet,her **** was as big as an hermaphrodite brigand her **** were as hard as concrete….

--------------------------------

Hearken the clarion call of the crowsafore the snow-they caw,hey, get your **** into gear lads-we gotta feckin go !!!

-----------------------------

Gods pad

I took a peek within your housewherein on pew, I spied a mouse,and in his hand, a Bible clasped,and out his mouth, a parable rasped,

---------------------

I'd say she hada pigeon loft inher eyes andbluebells up her nose.

But then againI wear a flat cap

and stroll through meadows.

----------------------------

Would you care to buy our house?It's minus Mouse n devoid o' Louse,!Spiders, Roaches, Bugs or other,have all been eaten by my brother,snaffled up n swallowed downthen jus' crapped out a - yellowish brown.so would you care to buy our house?from an oddly pair -- devoid of nous

-------------------------

Though the Crows got her eyesand the Worms got her gut.comes as no surprise death can't keep her mouth shut.

Been whittling away at a buoyant **** and fashioned something approximating a canoe, in it, I intend to surf the **** tsunami of old age; I named it, "Public service pension"

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.Well, I could wax on the wings of a butterflybut, I ain't that kind o' guy.rather kick the nuts off ******* squirrels pluck the wings off - blue assed fly.I'm the stuff that flops off dog chopswhen he's up for it and high.an infection in your sphincter,a well that's jus' run dry.

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befeathered­ and bright scarlet is my ladies bonnet,jauntily askew and -lilting on a paramoursgrin.

"- Gladlaughffi -"

I'm reliably informed that dear ol' Muma sported a goatee around his **** sphincter, now, whilst this is merely educated speculation from my esteemed friend his "groom of the stool" ! who was in fact required to wear a mask, ear muffs and a blindfold whilst he went about his business, He did possess reeaaally sensitive fingertips somewhat akin to a blind man reading brail,, and, swore blind that said "**** sphincter' spoke him in Arabic and asked him for a quick trim, (short back and sides)I myself being a practising proctologist of some repute am inclined to believe my friend the "groom of the stool" as I've come recognise -- Arsolian when I hear it !!!!!!!!-------------------------------------

In a Belfast sink by the plughole where hair and gum gunk meet'erman the germ-man and toe jambop the bacillus beat.

________

Doctor this I know as factthat I have a blocked digestive tract,I'm all bunged up and cannot gomy trump and pump is - somewhat slow.I need unction jollop for junction wallopsome sorta lotion to give me motion.If you could please just ease my wheezethen I needn't grunt and push and squeeze.

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They are breaking out the thwacking sticksand sparking Godly clogspulling tongues through narrowed lipsat the infidel yankee dogs.

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As a paid up member of the lumpen bourgeoisie poetry appreciation society I can confirm without fear of contradiction that poetry is indeed baggy underwearwith ample ball room, voluminous in the extreme and takes into account the need for the free flow of flatulent gassiness that is the want of a ****** up poet.

I'll have thee know thatthat there hatis a magic hat,it renders me invisible to the arty intelligentsiaand roots me firmlyin the lumpen proletariat .-------------------------------------------------------Said the sneaky Scotsman, Jim Blaik.if the pension, you wish to partake,bend over my son, lets get this thing doneand cop for this thick trouser snake !!

I met my uncle Albert, down at Asda, in aisle three;he got there in a Mazda, jus' a smidgen after me,said he'd traversed Sainsburys, Tesco Liddle n the Spar,but not one o' them flogged Caviar Truffles or Foie gras.

He sidled past the pork pies streaky bacon turkey thighsa headin for the french fries n forsaken knock down buys,shimmied 'round the ankle biters; expectant mums to be,popin pills for bloated ills in the haberdashery.

Fandango'd o'er the cornflakes and the spillage in isle four

-----------------

I'm linier and analogue, a ribbon microphone manmired in the dust of the monochromatic,the basement, the attic.

I'm choking on all the words I can't say,And blood from my throatBecause all the pride I swallowed was sharp And it didn't go down easyThe "I told you so" on the tip of my tongueWill just have to keep holding on

The retainer where she was putWas made of concrete. My father told me they had Dug the grave first, then poured the concrete in, waited forIt to dry and harden, then hammered in sixCircular spikes in the four corners, two on either sideOf the middle. They lifted the concrete cast out with a crane.My dad was going to be charged 300 dollars a day for the rental,But because of the circumstances, Home Depot let us have it for free.

-

Where was she?Where had she gone?Would I see her face again?Would she want me toMeet her on the other side of the river?

-

I answered my cell phone.

"Make sure to bring flower's."She had been crying. Her voice wavered the way sun lightDoes on moving water.

"Make sure to bring flowers," she repeated, "AndThat you wear what your father and I bought you."

I nodded my head with the receiver pressed up against my ear. We both let out a sigh. My mom hung up. I put my phone in my back pocket.

-

Lately, I had been seeing a shrink about repetition. He liked to use the word cycle.

"Everything is repeated," I would tell him.

"Life is a cycle," he'd disagree so to get me talking.

"Can cycles be identical?"

"Technically not. Some cycles are extremely similar, but no two cycles areCompletely the same. Are two people's lives ever exactly the same?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't know that many people. Maybe."

"You know lots of people, Camden. You have told me about many of your friends."

"Are we talking about the seasons?" I asked, changing the subject, "Like fall, winter, spring, summer? We are born, we live, we die, and we are born again?"

"That's a very natural way of looking at it."

"I know it is." I inhaled deeply, swallowing air and wondered what time it was.

"If you are so sure, why look for validation from me?" He liked this one, I could tell. I imagined him shopping for clothes and then exploding in aisle 16 because of a sale on jeans.

"The word cycle is used by people too afraid to use the word repetition. Everything is Repeated for the next generation, the next group, the next of the next of the next. We shift thingsAround, give things to one another to shift life to make it look different, but, things remain the same. Everything contains the primal function we were all doing and living from the very beginning, only now, there is more of a separation. Music is still music, words are still words, paintings are still paintings, love is still love, death is still death, only done differently and more intensely."

"We are talking about man furthering technology because we, as people and creatures, are Statistically more prone to flee than fight?"

"Why do you think it has caught on so quick?" I touched bothCorners of my lips with my tongue and suddenly realized I hadn't eaten breakfast.

"It is a theory," the psych nodded, "A theory with, I am sure, many Palpable facts you could make a very nice report with to prove...something." HeWas at a lost for words and I felt guilty that my mom was paying him $75 an hour.

"We are very split. There are too many of us. Too many hands spinning the china."

"Who is we Harry?" The psych hadn't looked up from his pen and pad of paper, until now. I couldTell he was annoyed with me either because he was making no progress or because the sessionHad just begun and I was already digging into him.

"Culture. The government. You, me, my dad, my mom, the taco bell cashier, the geniuses at Apple computers, a paper weight, my dead sister. We're all apart of these shifts, all putting in a certain amount of energy and lies to keep the protection of the projection going. The question I keep asking myself is: do I want to use my strengths to be apart of this cycle or not?"

His eyes flared open for a moment like he'd swallowed a firefly, not at the question I had posed for myself, but from what I would soon see was from the mention of my sister. He had something.

"I was notified by your mother that you may not want to talk about your recently deceased sister. Is It O.K. if I ask you some questions about her?"

I was leaning forward on the couch with my hands clasped in between my legs. The psych had looked up at me now. He was sweating at the top of his thin hairline. Observing that I was staring at his building perspiration, he, trying to be nonchalant, took out a thin, white napkin from his grey shirt pocket and dabbed the top of his head. The napkin looked like cheap toilet paper. I'd have offered him some water, but I had no water to give and I didn't know where the sink and cups were to give him any. I figured he did - it was his office - so I asked him for some. He pointed me in the direction of the bathroom. I got up and found a stack of paper cups. I poured myself a cup and went back to the couch, but instead of leaning forward, I sat back, relaxed, and let the expensive leather couch take the weight I had been carrying away.

"So," the psych maintained cooly, "Would it be alright if we were able to discuss your sister?"

I lifted the paper cup over my head and the psych's eyes, after I poured the water over my hair, my face, and clothes, was a mixture of what my mom's eyes looked at the funeral, defeated, confused, and with a loss of faith and hope. My father's eyes had only held hate, anger and the need to lash out at someone, but the only someone that would have fit the bill would have been God.

"Sure," I answered, "Let's talk about my sister."

-

I finished drying myself in the car. The psych had let me keep the towel.I leaned out the window to look at myself in the side mirror. I looked fine. Presentable. Accountable. Like I had been through something where I hadFaced my soul. Like I had used and abused my emotions. There was comb in my glove compartment, so I took it out and rushed it through my damp hair. Slicked back. The sunWas out, no clouds, burning up the inside of my car. That taste that comes afterFinishing something that's supposed to do you good didn't come. I was left with an unsure hand. Putting my keys in the ignition, I turned them, and felt the engine rumble in front of my legs.The sun sat in the sky like a lazy hand and I had nowhere else to go but home.

-

"Let's go to the river today," my dad said over coffee and two over easy eggs on topOf burnt wheat toast. "I'll drive and you and your sister can sit in the back and sing."

I looked over at Ally. She was gazing into her fruit bowl she had prepared forherself because dad didn't understand the concept or how to make it. The lamp light above usreflected in the smooth apricot yogurt and the flecks of granola scattered on toplooked like beige, jagged rocks. My dad's offer hung in the air and neitherof us bit the lure. I had just woken up and was unable to speak clearly, a decent excuse. Ally was simply choosing to ignore him.

"What you think there Ally?" I asked her. I sipped my coffee. It needed more cream. I got U, got it and brought the carton to the table.

"We can take the truck down there and load the back with the fishing poles and tackleAnd inner tubes. We haven't...done that...in a long time," he said, chewing his food as he spoke.

Ally poked her fruit bowl with her spoon, silent.

"What you think, Cam?" My dad was desperate. He knew I'd say yes.

"Sure. I've got no plans this weekend."

"No schoolwork?"

"It can wait till Sunday. Only math and some reading."

"Ally, what do you think?" my dad asked, leaning over to her. I could see he was Trying to be as courteous and gentle with her as he knew how to. I felt bad for him.

"Sure," she muttered, "That sounds like fun." I could barely hear her, but somehow, I could tell she sounded happy.

"Perfect," my dad smiled, "We'll pack the car up Friday,Drive up Saturday morning early, camp one night, then get back Sunday afternoon." HeTook a long sip of his coffee and swished it around in his mouth, then dug His fork into the dry toast and ran his small steak knife over the eggs. A silent pop came fromThe egg and the light orange yolk spilled out. "Perfect," he repeated, "Just great."

Ally poked a grape from her fruit bowl and dipped it into the yogurt. I took another sip of my coffee and looked up into the fan, spinning above us.We were going to the river.

-

"Your sister turns five today," my mom told me, "And that meansI want you to be on your best behavior."

I nodded, unsure what the point of a birthday was. I had had one before, or at least I thought I did, and all I remembered was that I got presents and the colorful balloons and the cake we all ate with fire kind of floating and burning above it. Somewherein that moment I remember thinking that the cake was going to catch on fire, then they, everyone, some that I knew and some people I had never seen before, yelled and shouted to blow the fire out, so I quickly did, but not because it was for a wish, which I later found out it was supposed to be for, but because I truly thought the cake was going to catch fire and they wanted me to take care of it. At that point, I was unsure what it meant to be alive or why to celebrate it all.

"This is her day, Camden," my father told me, "So I want you to be happy for your sister."

"I am," I said. I was wearing my favorite white and blue striped t-shirt and New shoes that my mom had bought me for the party.

"Sometimes you have to think of other people," my mother continued, "And today is one of those days. I don't want any crying because you didn't get any presents or that none of yourfriends are at the party. There are going to be a lot of Ally's friends there, but not manyof your's...do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Do you understand, Cam?" My father repeated. His skin was the color of a burnt pancake and he smelt like stale sugar and sun tan lotion. He was in front of me and washolding a thin magazine with a man in a boat holding up a fish on a line on the cover.

"Yes, Dad," I said again. I was hungry. I wanted mac n' cheese, my favorite food.

I had been on the floor, laying on my stomach watching Ren and Stimpy. They were standing in front of the television and I remember trying to wish them out of the way. Behind them were two, large bay windows where three palm trees stood in a row like tropical soldiers. I could see there was no wind because the three of them stood still, as if posing for someone. Their leaves were bright green, a mixture of the neon green Jello I used to love to eat and the orange Jolly Rancher my dad would always have in a tiny tray in the middle of the dining table. My mother hated having them there because it always tempted Ally and I, but he never moved it until he moved out.

"Do you like your show?" my mom asked, turning to see what I was watching.

I nodded, absently. Ren was licking Stimpy's eye because he was complaining about having an eyelash in there. Stimpy was completely still and smiling like he does - dumb and content.

"Interesting..." my mother trailed off. She walked to the kitchen behind the couch and Opened up the pantry for something. "You hungry, Camden?"

"I'm starving," my dad said, "Let me go check on Ally in the bedroom. She should be up from her nap."

I got up from my stomach and sat back on my legs, "Do we have mac n' cheese?" I asked.

"Let me check."

She reached up for the cabinet over the stove where I could never reach andOpened it. I rose slightly up from where I was sitting to see if I could see the glorious dark blue and orange package, but wasn't able to see over couch. I hovered there, still like a humming bird.

"You're in luck," I heard her say, "We've got one box left."

"Yay!" I screamed and got up, running into the kitchen.

"But," she smiled, stopping me, "You'll have to share it with your sister."

"No! I don't want to! I always have to share."

"What did we just talk about Camden?" she said, lightly stamping her foot.

I tried to remember, but couldn't. I shrugged.

"You need to learn to share, Camden. You also need to listen better when your father and I are talking to you. You and your sister are going to know each other a very long time and I want you to learn how to share now, so you two can be happy in the future."

"The future," I asked, "What's that?"

She paused, then said, "It's a time," she paused again, "Ahead of us."

"Do we know where it is?"

"Not exactly," she sighed.

"What's it look like?"

"No one really knows. People can only imagine it."

"Is it very far away?"

She opened the top of the blue and orange mac n' cheese box and poured the dry macaroni into a large silver ***, lifted the faucet, and let it run inside for five or seven seconds. She placed the *** on an unlit burner and turned to look at me. Her eyes looked far away and right there with me.

"Closer then you think," she said and turned the burner on.

-

I turned into the taco bell parking lot. There was something I was trying to remember that was in my trunk, but I couldn't recall the picture. A haze blew over the windshield that was a mix of heat and wind; I wished to be somewhere else, someone else, someplace else, but, there I was, sitting there underneath the sun, like everyone else. If I was able, I would have unlocked the door to my car and opened the door and walked out - but - there was something else lingering underneath my fingernails, something I couldn't name.

"Two tacos," I said into my hand, "And a water."

"Pull to the window," the voice buzzed over the muffled speaker.

"Yes," I said through my split fingers.

In front of me, over a patch of clean cut green grass and a yellow, red, and orange Taco Bell signature sign, was a fresh gas station with a willow tree *** near the front entrance. He had a sign that hung around his neck that read Juice Please - Very Thirsty. How I knew this was because I had seen it every time I had been asked to fill up my dad's car every other Sunday. I had never given the tree a dollar, yet, I felt that I owed him something. I tried to pull up to the window, but my clutch was grinding and a cloud slunk overhead. I was tired and only wanted to eat.

"That'll be a two twenty-five," the voice said through the thick, clear glass.

"Yes," I said to myself, digging into my wallet for three dollars.

I ****** the three onto the thick plastic platform. A quick sweeping plastic brush pushed the bills toward the asker, and the bills were gone. I had no food. I had nothing. My money was gone and all I had was a gurgling car in front of me and an empty front seat beside me. A pair of clouds waded by my front shield window. A shadow drew itself out in front of me like a **** model. A beep. Sudden and behind me. There was sound. I looked over my shoulder and a black 2013 Cadillac was sitting there, windshield tinted grey, the driver a shadow. I was unsure what to do...so I pulled forward six inches, hoping the offer would be enough. I wasn't in the best neighborhood.

The window to the left of me slid open. An arm erupted forward with a plastic bag,"75 cents is your change."

The hand dropped three quarters next to the plastic bag. I grabbed the bag with the two tacos and three quarters and quickly wound up my window. The face in front of me was a dangerous blur: smiling, frowning, not caring either way what happened to me next. The hands had gobbled up the three dollars and I was happy to see it go. Who needed money? I tossed the plastic bag onto the passenger seat and sped off two blocks for my grandma's house. Salvation. The holy land. A place with free hot sauce and two dog's that were stolen without paper's. Eden.

-

"What are you learning right now?" I asked Ally.

She hesitated, then said, "Something to do with science." She paused," Lot's to do with rock's."

"Rocks?" I stammered, not remembering a time when I learned about rocks in school, "What kind of rocks?"

"I don't know," she grinned, looking up at me, "All kinds."

I laughed and kicked a stone into the river. The sun was out and reflected on the water like an unpolished diamond. We had grown up a quarter mile away, but still, it felt foreign to us.

"I like it. There's some things you could see that you would never think to read about it in books."

I had read plenty off books. Most, I took little from, but Ally, I could see, had taken plenty.

It's so quiet.It's so strange.I've never heard silence so loud before.The drum beats loud and echoes out leaving us alone in this emptiness.Come on, lovedon't leave me hanging from this cliff.Don't leave me alone to die.

I know times are hard and you can't stand on your own,but that doesn't mean you have to leave.Don't run away from this pain.Just come into my arms and stay.At the end of the day the rain will be blown over and all the flowers will be bloomed.Even the toughest storms leave beauty for the eyes to love.

Don't get swallowed up in the shadows.I'll be your light. I'll guide you, just follow my feet.I'll lead you into me and hold you until your numb.

You're standing in the oceanwelcoming the salt water into your body.Dry your eyes and swim to the shore because I'll be waiting there.Just please don't go.Because if you leave I might just have to follow.

As the glorious LION Stands strong in stature Radiating with a presence Of Absolute rule The air washed with A bristly respect A natural pride Beams with beauty He guards the gateway to truth and only the brave may enter He is the king that needs no crown as he holds a royal presence as he sits in his golden coat and mainLies spark combust just bounce off dissolve in all his shine.

As broken men become renewed Their fractured parts Collect in the melting *** Of the Lion's stare As they are engulfed and swallowed In the reservoirs of his strengthAs the many wounded souls Find themselves restored In his majestic presence As he rattles the very fabric Of this world

There is no procrastinating belly Exposed by a lackluster display No one insults his strength By creating a make believe worldOr covers him with scaffolding so That they may alter him For he is the finished article And he is never held up or supported With anyone's emotional ropes or strings For he no ones puppet He is never silenced By the Strangle hold of this worldTightened with a multitude of gestures For I hear his ROAR!!!!!!!!His explosive self expression As his throat bursts and beams like the sun Breaking all collars, and his tongue is freed As a thousand trap doors Open up in him And boulders are lifted and rocks are shattered within the sound of his voice. His Soft pads of silent stealth Gather for all his wealth As the power of his pounce Is governed by both his strength Of spirit and the honesty With which he meets the earth For he owns all of his own pain And paces and growls to warn Away any who seek to steal his fresh **** And diminish him with pretty lies For he owns all his space As it feeds his strengthAs somewhere in the fury of feastingLionesses and Lions We find our freedomFor his power explodes like a volcano When his soul meets the earth As he shakes off all avoidance To seek only truth As streaks of white light And pure Gold glisten in the SUN As the world's projections Reflect and bounce off him

There is so much to learn From a beautiful LION

just decided to take my two poems about a LION and remove all the dead wood and see what I came up with . not sure but I love some of the lines individually

I followed Delvos down the trail until we could see the mouth of the mine. The life and energy of the surrounding birches and sentential pines came to a still and then died as we left the trees shelter behind and walked closer, closer. The air was cold and dark and damp and smelled of mold and moths. Delvos stepped into the darkness anyways. “Well, girl, you coming or aren’t you?” I could see his yellowed tobacco teeth form into a smile as I stepped out of the sun. It was still inside. The canary chirped in its cage. “This tunnel is just the mouth to over two hundred others exactly like it. Stay close. Last thing I need this month is National Geographic on my *** for losing one of their puppet girls.” “Delvos, ****. I have two masters degrees.” I pulled my mousey hair up into a tight ponytail. “I’ve experienced far more fatal feats than following a canary in a cave.” He rolled his eyes. “Spare me.” He trotted off around the corner to the left, whistling some Louis Armstrong song. “I survived alone in the jungles of Bolivia alone for two months chasing an Azara’s Spinetail. I climbed the tallest mountain in Nepal shooting Satyr Tragopans along the cliff faces. In Peru I…” Suddenly I felt the weight of the darkness. I lost track of his lantern completely. I stopped, my heartbeat picked up, and I tried to remind myself of what I had done in Peru. The mine was quiet and cold. I wiped my clammy, calloused hands on my trail pants and took a depth breath.

In through the nose. Out through the mouth. This is nothing. I followed a Diurnal Peruvian Pygmy-Owl across the gravel tops of the Andes Mountains, no light but the Southern Cross and waning moon above. I am not scared of darkness. I am not scared of darkness. I stopped to listen. Behind me I could hear the wind cooing at the mouth of the mine. Taunting? No. Reminding me to go forward. Into the darkness. I shifted my Nikon camera off my shoulder and raised the viewfinder to my eyes, sliding the lens cap into my vest pocket. This routine motion, by now, had become as fluid as walking. I stared readily through the dark black square until I saw reflections from the little red light on top that blinked, telling me the flash was charged. I snapped my finger down and white light filled the void in front of me. Then heavy dark returned. I blinked my eyes attempting to rid the memories of the flash etched, red, onto my retina. I clicked my short fingernails through buttons until the photo I took filled the camera screen. I learned early on that having short fingernails meant more precise control with the camera buttons. I zoomed in on the picture and scrolled to get my bearings of exactly what lay ahead in the narrow mine passageway. As I scrolled to the right I saw Delvos’ boot poking around the tunnel that forked to the left. Gottcha. I packed up the camera, licked my drying lips, and stepped confidently into the darkness.

When I first got the assignment in Vermont I couldn’t have been more frustrated. Mining canaries? Never had I ever ‘chased’ a more mundane bird. Nonetheless, when Jack Reynolds sends you on a shoot you don’t say no, so I packed up my camera bag and hoped on the next plane out of Washington. “His name is John Delvos.” Jack had said as he handed me the manila case envelope. He smiled, “You’re leaving on Tuesday.” “Yes sir.” “Don’t look so smug, Lila. This may not be the most exotic bird you’ve shot but the humanity of this piece has the potential to be a cover story. Get the shots, write the story.” I opened the envelope and read the assignment details in the comfort of my old pajamas back at my apartment later that night. John Delvos has lived in rural Vermont his entire life. His family bred the canaries for the miners of the Sheldon Quarry since the early twenties. When “the accident” happened the whole town shut down and the mines never reopened. . There were no canaries in the mines the day the gas killed the miners. The town blamed the Delvos family and ran them into the woods. His mother died in a fire of some sort shortly before Delvos and his father retreated into the Vermont woods. His father built a cabin and once his father died, Delvos continued to breed the birds. He currently ships them to other mining towns across the country. The question of the inhumanity of breeding canaries for the sole purpose of dying in the mines so humans don’t has always been controversial. Find out Delvos’ story and opinions on the matter. Good luck, Lila. I sighed, accepting my dull assignment and slipped into an apathetic sleep.

After stumbling through the passageway while keeping one hand on the wall to the left, I found the tunnel the picture had revealed Delvos to be luring in. Delvos reappeared behind the crack of his match in a side tunnel not twenty yards in front of me “Do you understand the darkness now, Ms. Rivers?” He relit the oily lantern and picked back up the canary cage. “Your prestigious masters degrees don’t mean **** down here.”. He turned his back without another word. I followed deeper into the damp darkness. “Why were there no canaries in the mine on, you know, that day?” The shadows of the lantern flickered against the iron canary cage chained on his hip and the yellow bird hopped inside. “I was nine, Ms. Rivers. I didn’t understand much at the time.” We turned right into the next tunnel and our shoes crunched on jagged stones. All the stones were black. “But surely you understand now?” The canary chirped.

When I first got to Sheldon and began asking about the location of the Delvos’ cabin you would have thought I was asking where the first gate to hell was located. Mothers would smile and say, “Sorry, Miss, I can’t say,” then hurriedly flock their children in the opposite direction. After two hours of polite refusals I gave up. I spent the rest of the first day photographing the town square. It was quaint; old stone barbershops surrounded by oaks and black squirrels, a western-themed whiskey bar, and a few greasy spoon restaurants. I booked a room in the Walking Horse Motel for Wednesday night, determined to get a good night’s sleep and defeat this town’s fear of John Delvos the following day. My room was a tiny one bed square with no TV. Surprise, surprise. At least I had my camera and computer to entertain myself. I reached into the side of my camera bag, pulled out my Turkish Golds and Macaw-beak yellow BIC, and stepped out onto the dirt in front of my motel door and lit up. The stars above stole all the oxygen surrounding me. They were dancing and smiling above me and I forgot Delvos, Jack, and all of Sheldon except its sky. Puffing away, I stepped farther and farther from my door and deeper into the darkness of Vermont night. The father into the darkness the more dizzying the star’s dancing became. “Ma’am? Everything okay?” Startled, I dropped my cigarette on the ground and the ember fell off. “I’m sorry, sir. I was just, um, the stars…” I snuffed out the orange glow in the dirt with my boot and extended my hand, “Lila Rivers, and you are?” “Ian Benet. I haven’t seen you around here before, Ms. Rivers. Are you new to town?” He traced his fingers over a thick, graying mustache as he stared at me. “I’m here for work. I’m a bird photographer and journalist for National Geographic. I’m looking for John Delvos but I’m starting to think he’s going to be harder to track than a Magpie Robin.” Ian smiled awkwardly, shivered, then began to fumble with his thick jacket’s zipper. I looked up at the night sky and watched the stars as they tiptoed their tiny circles in the pregnant silence. Then, they dimmed in the flick of a spark as Ian lit up his wooden pipe. It was a light-colored wood, stained with rich brown tobacco and ash. He passed me his matches, smiling. “So, Delvos, eh?” He puffed out a cloud of leather smelling smoke toward the stars. “What do you want with that old *******? Don’t tell me National Geographic is interested in the Delvos canaries.” I lit up another stick and took a drag. “Shocking, right?” “Actually, it’s about time their story is told.” Benet walked to the wooden bench to our left and patted the seat beside him. I walked over. “The Delvos canaries saved hundreds of Sheldonian lives over the years. But the day a crew went into the mines without one, my father came out of the ground as cold as when we put him back into it in his coffin.” I sat in silence, unsure what to say. “Mr. Benet, I’m so sorry…” “Please, just Ian. My father was the last Mr. Benet.” We sat on the wooden bench, heat leaving our bodies to warm the dead wood beneath our legs. I shivered; the star’s dance suddenly colder and more violent. “Delvos canaries are martyrs, Ms. Rivers. This whole town indebted to those tiny yellow birds, but nobody cares to remember that anymore.” “Can you tell me where I can find Mr. Delvos and his, erm, martyrs?” The ember of my second cigarette was close to my pinching fingertips. “Follow me.” Ian stood up and walked to the edge of the woods in front of us. We crunched the dead pine needles beneath our feet, making me aware of how silent it was. Ian stopped at a large elm and pointed. “See that yellow notch?” he asked. Sure enough, there was a notch cut and dyed yellow at his finger’s end. “If you follow true north from this tree into the woods you’ll find this notch about every fifty yards or so. Follow the yellow and it’ll spit you out onto the Delvos property.” “Thank you, Ian. I really can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am. “You don’t have to.” He knocked the ash out of his pipe against the tree. “Just do those birds justice in your article. Remember, martyrs. Tell old Delvos Ian Benet sends his regards.” He turned and walked back to the motel and I stood and watched in silence. It was then I realized I hadn’t heard a single bird since I got to Sheldon. The star’s dance was manic above me as I walked back to my room and shut the door.

The canary’s wings and Delvos stopped. “This is a good place to break our fast. Sit.” I sat obediently, squirming around until the rocks formed a more comfortable nest around my bony hips. We had left for the mines as the stars were fading in the vermillion Vermont sky that morning and had been walking for what seemed like an eternity. I was definitely ready to eat. He handed me a gallon Ziploc bag from his backpack filled with raisins, nuts, various dried fruits, and a stiff piece of bread. I attacked the food like a raven. “I was the reason no canaries entered the mines that day, Ms. Rivers.” Delvos broke a piece of his bread off and wrapped it around a dried piece of apricot, or maybe apple. I was suddenly aware of my every motion and swallowed, loudly. I crinkled into my Ziploc and crunched on the pecans I dug out, waiting. “Aren’t you going to ask why?” “I’m not a parrot, Mr. Delvos, I don’t answer expectedly on command. You’ll tell me if you want.” I stuffed a fistful of dried pears into my mouth. Delvos chuckled and my nerves eased. “You’ve got steel in you, Ms. Rivers. I’ll give you that much.” I nodded and continued cramming pears in my mouth. “I was only nine. The canaries were my pets, all of them. I hated when Dad would send them into the mines to die for men I couldn’t give two ***** about. It was my birthday and I asked for an afternoon of freedom with my pets and Dad obliged. I was in the aviary with pocketfuls of sunflower-seeds. Whenever I threw a handful into the air above me, the air came to life with wings slashing yellow brushes and cawing songs of joy. It was the happiest I have ever been, wholly surrounded and protected by my friends. Around twelve thirty that afternoon the Sheriff pulled up, lights ablaze. The blue and red lights stilled my yellow sky to green again and that’s when I heard the shouting. He cuffed my Dad on the hood of the car and Mom was crying and pushing her fists into the sheriff’s chest. I didn’t understand at all. The Sheriff ended up putting Mom in the car too and they all left me in the aviary. I sat there until around four that afternoon before they sent anyone to come get me.” Delvos took a small bite of his bread and chewed a moment. “No matter how many handfuls of seeds I threw in the air after that, the birds wouldn’t stir. They wouldn’t even sing. I think they knew what was happening.” I was at a loss for words so and I blurted, “I didn’t see an aviary at your house…” Delvos laughed. “Someone burnt down the house I was raised in the next week while we were sleeping. Mom died that night. The whole dark was burning with screams and my yellow canaries were orange and hot against the black sky. That’s the only night I’ve seen black canaries and the only night I’ve heard them scream.” I swallowed some mixed nuts and they rubbed against my dry throat. “They never caught the person. A week later Dad took the remainder of the birds and we marched into the woods. We worked for months clearing the land and rebuilding our lives. We spent most of the time in silence, except for the canary cries. When the house was finally built and the bird’s little coops were as well, Dad finally talked. The only thing he could say was “Canaries are not the same as a Phoenix, John. Not the same at all.” We sat in silence and I found myself watching the canary flit about in its cage, still only visible by the lanterns flame. Not fully yellow, I realized, here in the mines but not fully orange either.

When I first walked onto John Delvos’ property on Thursday morning he was scattering feed into the bird coops in the front of his cabin. Everything was made of wood and still wet with the morning’s dew. “Mr. Delvos?” He spun around, startled, and walked up to me a little too fast. “Why are you here? Who are you?” “My name is Lila Rivers, sir, I am a photographer and journalist for National Geographic Magazine and we are going to run an article on your canaries.” “Not interested.” “Please, sir, can I ask you just a few quick questions as take a couple pictures of your, erm, martyrs?” His eyes narrowed and he walked up to me, studying my face with an intense, glowering gaze. He spit a mouthful of dip onto the ground without breaking eye contact. I shifted my camera bag’s weight to the other shoulder. “Who told you to call them that?” “I met Ian Benet last night, he told me how important your birds are to this community, sir. He sends his regards.” Delvos laughed and motioned for me to follow as he turned his back. “You can take pictures but I have to approve which ones you publish. That’s my rule.” “Sir, it’s really not up to me, you see, my boss, Jack Reynolds, is one of the editors for the magazine and he...” “Those are my rules, Ms. Rivers.” He turned and picked back up the bucket of seed and began to walk back to the birds. “You want to interview me then we do it in the mine. Be back here at four thirty in the morning.” “Sir…?” “Get some sleep, Ms. Rivers. You’ll want to be rested for the mine.” He turned, walked up his wooden stairs, and closed the door to his cabin. I was left alone in the woods and spent the next hour snapping pictures of the canaries in their cages. I took a couple pictures of his house and the surrounding trees, packed up my camera and trekked back to my motel.

“You finished yet?” Delvos stood up. The mine was dark, quiet, and stagnant. I closed the Ziploc and stuffed the bag, mainly filled with the raisins I had sifted through, into my pocket. Delvos grunted and the canary flapped in its cage as he stood again and, swinging the lantern, rounded another corner. The path we were on began to take a noticeable ***** downward and the moisture on the walls and air multiplied. The lantern flickered against the moist, black stones, sleek and piled in the corners we past. The path stopped ahead at a wall of solid black and brown Earth. The canary chirped twice. It smelled of clay and mildew and Delvos said, “Go on, touch it.” I reached my hand out, camera uselessly hanging like a bat over my shoulder. The rock was cold and hard. It felt dead. The canary was fluttering its wings in the cage now, chirping every few seconds. “This is the last tunnel they were digging when the gas under our feet broke free from hell and killed those men.” Delvos hoisted the lantern above our heads, illuminatin

On Hellespont, guilty of true love’s blood,In view and opposite two cities stood,Sea-borderers, disjoin’d by Neptune’s might;The one Abydos, the other Sestos hight.At Sestos Hero dwelt; Hero the fair,Whom young Apollo courted for her hair,And offer’d as a dower his burning throne,Where she could sit for men to gaze upon.The outside of her garments were of lawn,The lining purple silk, with gilt stars drawn;Her wide sleeves green, and border’d with a grove,Where Venus in her naked glory stroveTo please the careless and disdainful eyesOf proud Adonis, that before her lies;Her kirtle blue, whereon was many a stain,Made with the blood of wretched lovers slain.Upon her head she ware a myrtle wreath,From whence her veil reach’d to the ground beneath;Her veil was artificial flowers and leaves,Whose workmanship both man and beast deceives;Many would praise the sweet smell as she past,When ’twas the odour which her breath forth cast;And there for honey bees have sought in vain,And beat from thence, have lighted there again.About her neck hung chains of pebble-stone,Which lighten’d by her neck, like diamonds shone.She ware no gloves; for neither sun nor windWould burn or parch her hands, but, to her mind,Or warm or cool them, for they took delightTo play upon those hands, they were so white.Buskins of shells, all silver’d, used she,And branch’d with blushing coral to the knee;Where sparrows perch’d, of hollow pearl and gold,Such as the world would wonder to behold:Those with sweet water oft her handmaid fills,Which as she went, would chirrup through the bills.Some say, for her the fairest Cupid pin’d,And looking in her face, was strooken blind.But this is true; so like was one the other,As he imagin’d Hero was his mother;And oftentimes into her ***** flew,About her naked neck his bare arms threw,And laid his childish head upon her breast,And with still panting rock’d there took his rest.So lovely-fair was Hero, Venus’ nun,As Nature wept, thinking she was undone,Because she took more from her than she left,And of such wondrous beauty her bereft:Therefore, in sign her treasure suffer’d wrack,Since Hero’s time hath half the world been black.

Amorous Leander, beautiful and young(Whose tragedy divine MusÆus sung),Dwelt at Abydos; since him dwelt there noneFor whom succeeding times make greater moan.His dangling tresses, that were never shorn,Had they been cut, and unto Colchos borne,Would have allur’d the vent’rous youth of GreeceTo hazard more than for the golden fleece.Fair Cynthia wish’d his arms might be her sphere;Grief makes her pale, because she moves not there.His body was as straight as Circe’s wand;Jove might have sipt out nectar from his hand.Even as delicious meat is to the taste,So was his neck in touching, and surpastThe white of Pelops’ shoulder: I could tell ye,How smooth his breast was, and how white his belly;And whose immortal fingers did imprintThat heavenly path with many a curious dintThat runs along his back; but my rude penCan hardly blazon forth the loves of men,Much less of powerful gods: let it sufficeThat my slack Muse sings of Leander’s eyes;Those orient cheeks and lips, exceeding hisThat leapt into the water for a kissOf his own shadow, and, despising many,Died ere he could enjoy the love of any.Had wild Hippolytus Leander seen,Enamour’d of his beauty had he been.His presence made the rudest peasant melt,That in the vast uplandish country dwelt;The barbarous Thracian soldier, mov’d with nought,Was mov’d with him, and for his favour sought.Some swore he was a maid in man’s attire,For in his looks were all that men desire,—A pleasant smiling cheek, a speaking eye,A brow for love to banquet royally;And such as knew he was a man, would say,“Leander, thou art made for amorous play;Why art thou not in love, and lov’d of all?Though thou be fair, yet be not thine own thrall.”

The men of wealthy Sestos every year,For his sake whom their goddess held so dear,Rose-cheek’d Adonis, kept a solemn feast.Thither resorted many a wandering guestTo meet their loves; such as had none at allCame lovers home from this great festival;For every street, like to a firmament,Glister’d with breathing stars, who, where they went,Frighted the melancholy earth, which deem’dEternal heaven to burn, for so it seem’dAs if another Pha{”e}ton had gotThe guidance of the sun’s rich chariot.But far above the loveliest, Hero shin’d,And stole away th’ enchanted gazer’s mind;For like sea-nymphs’ inveigling harmony,So was her beauty to the standers-by;Nor that night-wandering, pale, and watery star(When yawning dragons draw her thirling carFrom Latmus’ mount up to the gloomy sky,Where, crown’d with blazing light and majesty,She proudly sits) more over-rules the floodThan she the hearts of those that near her stood.Even as when gaudy nymphs pursue the chase,Wretched Ixion’s shaggy-footed race,Incens’d with savage heat, gallop amainFrom steep pine-bearing mountains to the plain,So ran the people forth to gaze upon her,And all that view’d her were enamour’d on her.And as in fury of a dreadful fight,Their fellows being slain or put to flight,Poor soldiers stand with fear of death dead-strooken,So at her presence all surpris’d and tooken,Await the sentence of her scornful eyes;He whom she favours lives; the other dies.There might you see one sigh, another rage,And some, their violent passions to assuage,Compile sharp satires; but, alas, too late,For faithful love will never turn to hate.And many, seeing great princes were denied,Pin’d as they went, and thinking on her, died.On this feast-day—O cursed day and hour!—Went Hero thorough Sestos, from her towerTo Venus’ temple, where unhappily,As after chanc’d, they did each other spy.

So fair a church as this had Venus none:The walls were of discolour’d jasper-stone,Wherein was Proteus carved; and over-headA lively vine of green sea-agate spread,Where by one hand light-headed Bacchus hung,And with the other wine from grapes out-wrung.Of crystal shining fair the pavement was;The town of Sestos call’d it Venus’ glass:There might you see the gods in sundry shapes,Committing heady riots, ******, rapes:For know, that underneath this radiant flowerWas Danae’s statue in a brazen tower,Jove slyly stealing from his sister’s bed,To dally with Idalian Ganimed,And for his love Europa bellowing loud,And tumbling with the rainbow in a cloud;Blood-quaffing Mars heaving the iron net,Which limping Vulcan and his Cyclops set;Love kindling fire, to burn such towns as Troy,Sylvanus weeping for the lovely boyThat now is turn’d into a cypress tree,Under whose shade the wood-gods love to be.And in the midst a silver altar stood:There Hero, sacrificing turtles’ blood,Vail’d to the ground, veiling her eyelids close;And modestly they opened as she rose.Thence flew Love’s arrow with the golden head;And thus Leander was enamoured.Stone-still he stood, and evermore he gazed,Till with the fire that from his count’nance blazedRelenting Hero’s gentle heart was strook:Such force and virtue hath an amorous look.

It lies not in our power to love or hate,For will in us is over-rul’d by fate.When two are stript, long ere the course begin,We wish that one should lose, the other win;And one especially do we affectOf two gold ingots, like in each respect:The reason no man knows, let it suffice,What we behold is censur’d by our eyes.Where both deliberate, the love is slight:Who ever lov’d, that lov’d not at first sight?

He kneeled, but unto her devoutly prayed.Chaste Hero to herself thus softly said,“Were I the saint he worships, I would hear him;”And, as she spake those words, came somewhat near him.He started up, she blushed as one ashamed,Wherewith Leander much more was inflamed.He touched her hand; in touching it she trembled.Love deeply grounded, hardly is dissembled.These lovers parleyed by the touch of hands;True love is mute, and oft amazed stands.Thus while dumb signs their yielding hearts entangled,The air with sparks of living fire was spangled,And night, deep drenched in misty Acheron,Heaved up her head, and half the world uponBreathed darkness forth (dark night is Cupid’s day).And now begins Leander to displayLove’s holy fire, with words, with sighs, and tears,Which like sweet music entered Hero’s ears,And yet at every word she turned aside,And always cut him off as he replied.At last, like to a bold sharp sophister,With cheerful hope thus he accosted her.

“Fair creature, let me speak without offence.I would my rude words had the influenceTo lead thy thoughts as thy fair looks do mine,Then shouldst thou be his prisoner, who is thine.Be not unkind and fair; misshapen stuffAre of behaviour boisterous and rough.O shun me not, but hear me ere you go.God knows I cannot force love as you do.My words shall be as spotless as my youth,Full of simplicity and naked truth.This sacrifice, (whose sweet perfume descendingFrom Venus’ altar, to your footsteps bending)Doth testify that you exceed her far,To whom you offer, and whose nun you are.Why should you worship her? Her you surpassAs much as sparkling diamonds flaring glass.A diamond set in lead his worth retains;A heavenly nymph, beloved of human swains,Receives no blemish, but ofttimes more grace;Which makes me hope, although I am but base:Base in respect of thee, divine and pure,Dutiful service may thy love procure.And I in duty will excel all other,As thou in beauty dost exceed Love’s mother.Nor heaven, nor thou, were made to gaze upon,As heaven preserves all things, so save thou one.A stately builded ship, well rigged and tall,The ocean maketh more majestical.Why vowest thou then to live in Sestos hereWho on Love’s seas more glorious wouldst appear?Like untuned golden strings all women are,Which long time lie untouched, will harshly jar.Vessels of brass, oft handled, brightly shine.What difference betwixt the richest mineAnd basest mould, but use? For both, not used,Are of like worth. Then treasure is abusedWhen misers keep it; being put to loan,In time it will return us two for one.Rich robes themselves and others do adorn;Neither themselves nor others, if not worn.Who builds a palace and rams up the gateShall see it ruinous and desolate.Ah, simple Hero, learn thyself to cherish.Lone women like to empty houses perish.Less sins the poor rich man that starves himselfIn heaping up a mass of drossy pelf,Than such as you. His golden earth remainsWhich, after his decease, some other gains.But this fair gem, sweet in the loss alone,When you fleet hence, can be bequeathed to none.Or, if it could, down from th’enameled skyAll heaven would come to claim this legacy,And with intestine broils the world destroy,And quite confound nature’s sweet harmony.Well therefore by the gods decreed it isWe human creatures should enjoy that bliss.One is no number; maids are nothing thenWithout the sweet society of men.Wilt thou live single still? One shalt thou be,Though never singling ***** couple thee.Wild savages, that drink of running springs,Think water far excels all earthly things,But they that daily taste neat wine despise it.Virginity, albeit some highly prize it,Compared with marriage, had you tried them both,Differs as much as wine and water doth.Base bullion for the stamp’s sake we allow;Even so for men’s impression do we you,By which alone, our reverend fathers say,Women receive perfection every way.This idol which you term virginityIs neither essence subject to the eyeNo, nor to any one exterior sense,Nor hath it any place of residence,Nor is’t of earth or mould celestial,Or capable of any form at all.Of that which hath no being do not boast;Things that are not at all are never lost.Men foolishly do call it virtuous;What virtue is it that is born with us?Much less can honour be ascribed thereto;Honour is purchased by the deeds we do.Believe me, Hero, honour is not wonUntil some honourable deed be done.Seek you for chastity, immortal fame,And know that some have wronged Diana’s name?Whose name is it, if she be false or notSo she be fair, but some vile tongues will blot?But you are fair, (ay me) so wondrous fair,So young, so gentle, and so debonair,As Greece will think if thus you live aloneSome one or other keeps you as his own.Then, Hero, hate me not nor from me flyTo follow swiftly blasting infamy.Perhaps thy sacred priesthood makes thee loath.Tell me, to whom mad’st thou that heedless oath?”

“To Venus,” answered she and, as she spake,Forth from those two tralucent cisterns brakeA stream of liquid pearl, which down her faceMade milk-white paths, whereon the gods might traceTo Jove’s high court.He thus replied: “The ritesIn which love’s beauteous empress most delightsAre banquets, Doric music, midnight revel,Plays, masks, and all that stern age counteth evil.Thee as a holy idiot doth she scornFor thou in vowing chastity hast swornTo rob her name and honour, and therebyCommitt’st a sin far worse than perjury,Even sacrilege against her deity,Through regular and formal purity.To expiate which sin, kiss and shake hands.Such sacrifice as this Venus demands.”

Thereat she smiled and did deny him so,As put thereby, yet might he hope for moe.Which makes him quickly re-enforce his speech,And her in humble manner thus beseech.“Though neither gods nor men may thee deserve,Yet for her sake, whom you have vowed to serve,Abandon fruitless cold virginity,The gentle queen of love’s sole enemy.Then shall you most resemble Venus’ nun,When Venus’ sweet rites are performed and done.Flint-breasted Pallas joys in single life,But Pallas and your mistress are at strife.Love, Hero, then, and be not tyrannous,But heal the heart that thou hast wounded thus,Nor stain thy youthful years with avarice.Fair fools delight to be accounted nice.The richest corn dies, if it be not reaped;Beauty alone is lost, too warily kept.”

These arguments he used, and many more,Wherewith she yielded, that was won before.Hero’s looks yielded but her words made war.Women are won when they begin to jar.Thus, having swallowed Cupid’s golden hook,The more she strived, the deeper was she strook.Yet, evilly feigning anger, strove she stillAnd would be thought to grant against her will.So having paused a while at last she said,“Who taught thee rhetoric to deceive a maid?Ay me, such words as these should I abhorAnd yet I like them for the orator.”

With that Leander stooped to have embraced herBut from his spreading arms away she cast her,And thus bespake him: “Gentle youth, forbearTo touch the sacred garments which I wear.Upon a rock and underneath a hillFar from the town (where all is whist and still,Save that the sea, playing on yellow sand,Sends forth a rattling murmur to the land,Whose sound allures the golden MorpheusIn silence of the night to visit us)My turret stands and there, God knows, I play.With Venus’ swans and sparrows all the day.A dwarfish beldam bears me company,That hops about the chamber where I lie,And spends the night (that might be better spent)In vain discourse and apish merriment.Come thither.” As she spake this, her tongue tripped,For unawares “come thither” from her slipped.And suddenly her former colour changed,And here and there her eyes through anger ranged.And like a planet, moving several ways,At one self instant she, poor soul, assays,Loving, not to love at all, and every partStrove to resist the motions of her heart.And hands so pure, so innocent, nay, suchAs might have made heaven stoop to have a touch,Did she uphold to Venus, and againVowed spotless chastity, but all in vain.Cupid beats down her prayers with his wings,Her vows above the empty air he flings,All deep enraged, his sinewy bow he bent,And shot a shaft that burning from him went,Wherewith she strooken, looked so dolefully,As made love sigh to see his tyranny.And as she wept her tears to pearl he turned,And wound them on his arm and for her mourned.Then towards the palace of the destiniesLaden with languishment and grief he flies,And to those stern nymphs humbly made requestBoth might enjoy each other, and be blest.But with a ghastly dreadful

Jack** and Jill ran up the hill,To perv on miss muffin Getting her fill, She was getting it hard boiledFrom Humpy Dumpty,Who fell of the wall, Yolk sprayed up her back,Her screaming she wanted more.

Mary, Mary,Quite Contrary...How did you make it grow, You played with the bells, And my cockle shells and it did grow, Mary, Mary,Quite Contrary Not much words to show, A mouth your good at what you do, Mary my sweet little bike I like to ride so.

Old Mother HubbardLiked it up the back cupboard,From the younger gents She knows,She liked to **** meat till the marrow Did flow swallowed the lot in one go,Now empty is the bone. Who thought a lady in years, Had all this energy on the go...

there once was a girl who broke promises like tea glasses. It wasn't hard, really. just a little too much heat, too much pressure. maybe she just didn't pay attention, until there were tea glasses shattered all over the floor. but one day the girl worried that someone would see all that broken glass and start to wonder, so she grabbed fistfuls of the mess and she swallowed it all down down down where no one could ever see. and the jagged shards tore at her insides, shredded her gut into ****** ribbons, bedazzled her stomach lining like stars. the girl smiled and bled and broke more promises and swallowed and swallowed and swallowed. until one day those pretty tea glass promises ripped her open and everyone could see her mistakes spill out of her as she bled out on the floor.

I’ve swallowed too many I love you’sto be afraid of coughing up blood.They cut you on secret.Who knew it was drinking gasolineand sawdust and every little inflammable thingand then sitting down cross-leggedin the heart of a howitzer; soft.

II.

You are a soft explosion.You are streaks of a rebel orange in a sky that is supposed to be blue.You are steel rods in the curve of my spine,holding me straight.

III.

I love you’s are like death notes written in ash:you’ll have to smoke your way to it.Smoke cigarettes, journals, curtains,and yourself to get that much ash in your lungs;trying to blow smoke rings into your finger;my ceiling knows more about my sadness than you do.

IV.

Saying an I love you once will have youchanting “don’t leave me” on a rosary; love will take your bones and leave youlusting for somebody whose backis the last thing you’ll see, and whoseskin you’ll think you left your keys in:and now you’ve locked yourself outof your own house, in a stormwhose sirens wail in your ears and remindyou, you’re hopeless and homeless.

V.

I love you’s leave no exit wounds, no shell casings, and when the time comesyou’ll be telling them all how his bulletricochets in your ribs,but emotion never made up for evidencein the court of settlements for a broken heart.

VI.

Telling someone you love them is like cutting your jugularand not expecting to bleed out.

VII.

I love you like the pages of a mad girl’s journal.

VIII.

The moon turns from an allyto the haunting image of science and realisation:you share the same sky, but no longer the same bed.And astronomy keeps ******* you overwhen you look up at the skyand no longer understand constellations.

IX.

Love makes it more getting-back-at-youthan getting-back-together-with-you.

X.

Every time you taste blood,you’ll know you kissed somebodywith teeth like needlesand they cut you everywhere; theybit you, they bit you, they bit youand you kept letting them.

deep in the pond of unhappy, swimming,drowning the next contemporaneous depression thought quickly swallowed,desperation in quick glances everywhere, dawn is no consolation but just anotherdaily drawing tighter of twine cutting disillusionment

dear god, commences every thought,delayed answers have yet to arrive,**** the deity's non-responsivness,dare not say out loud lest,deserved fates be worse, be realized,didn't know? how can that be?disguiser par excellent, I am the originaldeceiver

But I never think about

death or dying, for that would bedefeat finale, a statute to, a status of none, adestiny some wick spark, still insists can bedeferred

differed always,diffidently, but grasping yet at the double entendre that is mydark vision of a future already past

Twilight silhouettes. An evening cigarette, up on deck.The sun sets - on the far side of the cliff -While the boatDips and lift, dips and lifts.Golden brown all around legs returning A golden sun is burning outTurning down the volume on the skyNow the whiteness of the day seeps throughOur sand-entrenched shoes and is swallowedBy the vastness of the wine-dark sea.Our salt-encrusted shoulders have rolled no bouldersTo touch the sun at noonLong afternoons through hazy pastel viewsTill the day’s foaming sea breaks Upon the hilly hooves of Spanish rocks.Meanwhile, the spine of a sleeping giantLies in a hazy snooze,Its camel back runs grey to black Across the flat horizon. Pupils widen As the semi circle of gold is swallowed wholeThe velvet sea rolls gently for Poseidon.

In the mid-1990s I worked as a bartenderon the second floor of a local hotdog jointnear the University of Pittsburgh.I poured beers and mixed simple drinksfor working class drunks.The felons always had a game or a magic trickthey’d use to milk rubes for a free gin and tonic.College students mostly stayed away,but the ones who stumbled in ordered drafts,paid for by daddy’s allowanceor the petty drug rackets they ran on campus.In the summer, the best ***** came around,**** pushed out of their tops,*** cheeks crept below their skirts.They knew how to find actionevery single night.

Except one overweight girl named Susiefrom the all girl’s school down the road.She’d come to the bar alone,her lips caked with dark red lipstick.Like many students, Susie wanted to be older.She’d order ***** martinis,drink quietly, and she’d patiently waitfor one of the older drunks to make a move.It never happened.

Sometimes Susie complained to meabout other girls at her college,that they were aggressive lesbians.All of them wanted to eat her ******.‘Those ******* are as bad as the men,’ she’d say.But then she’d laugh it off.‘I really love ****,’ she told me.‘I think about **** and *** all the time.’

One night Susie owed the bar $27.50.She always tried to flirt her way past the tab.I never let her get away with it.‘Do you like me?’ she said.I laid down my trademark response,‘You’re the best.’‘No, do you really like me?’I figured she deserved a real compliment.‘You have the sexiest lips here.’

She climbed off the barstooland walked to the backdoor, the fire escape.She then curled her finger at me to join her.Outside on the small rusted iron landing,above the roach-filled dumpster,Susie crouched between my legs.Both of us worked to unbuckle my belt.A swarm of hands pulled down my jeans.I looked up at the few stars between buildingsas those red lips and soft tongue became my drug,a back alley escape from a ******* life.When I unloaded, she refused to let go.She swallowed it all. $27.50 paid in full,plus tip.

That’s how we went for a while.I gave Susie small escapes from lesbians.Susie gave me small escapes from life.Eventually, she stopped coming around.I figured she graduated.Perhaps her classmates finally got their wish.Either way, I never saw her again.