And all of it shall happen again

Christmas has been lovely! The kids woke me up and we watched them open their many presents, then us adults opened ours. I got Professor Layton and the Curious Village, a lovely new top, some bath stuff from Lush and a Lego Star Wars alarm clock. :D I also got a lucky cat that talks, even if it only speaks Japanese. :D It is adorable. I also got a bit of money and some giftcards, so a trip to HMV is in my future! After, I set up the lads' Leg stuff (mam hates doing Lego), and we played on the Michael Jackson dancing game.

We went to Stepdad's parents for dinner, and had an absolutely lovely Christmas dinner. Then we came home and played about some more. Then I decided to call dad.

Dad has decided we are not visiting nannan because it doesn't suit him. He doesn't feel like having a family sit down with his mother, God only knows why. And then he expected me to go to his house with my little sister and go fishing. Neither of us enjoy fishing.

This is Dad all over. He acts like we're dolls to be picked up at his convienience. Christmas is about the kids, and while I can cope with the crap he puts me through, Sis the Second deserves better. This is the reason she doesn't want to see him.

I feel like a bad sister for refusing to go with him, because she needs someone there to take care of her. But I can't keep putting up with him, it's killing me. And her mother decided whether to send her with him or not. *guilty*

I had a really good day today. I saw Spamalot, which was amazingly funny. Seriously, I nearly bust a gut. I spent most of the day wandering about with my BFF, whom I love to bits. I ate sushi, which I love. My dad is a bastard who cares more about his own comfort than the safety of his own daughter.

So I turned 20 yesterday. Still don't feel any different. My day started awesomely, with a random hug in the middle of the night from my little brother, who just came in, gave me a hug and went back to bed. :D He is the cutest thing.

Had a nice time listening to cheesy music and dossing about on the net, where I discovered that timidfox bought me paid time! *bounces* Oh, the icons I shall have! Anyway, then I picked the kids up and taught Thing 1 how to play Sevens (like Blackjack, but different power cards). It was nice. :)

The crap started when we picked Stepdad Tosspot up. He wouldn't quit complaining the whole way there, and he got really arsey when I asked him to play nice. I almost just caught the train home then. We had to watch what he wanted, on my birthday, because I was intruding on their plans. I ended up getting the tickets because I work at the cinema, which is fair enough, but I also got the food, and didn't get to watch what I wanted. I ended up just walking out and coming home.

Thank god for my flatmate. wonderm , you are a goddess. When I got in the living room was full of balloons and party food and we sat down and had a chat and ate sweets. :D Then I checked the net and saw taekarado had written me a fic.

So, yeah, I just wanna say thank you to you all for being amazing and making my birthday so much better than it would have been. I love you guys. *group hug*

Stepdad Edgar is apparently still talking to random women on Facebook. A lot. When Mam's not around. This is what was happening when he left her, he was talking to the Karate Bitch on Facebook and then he left mam and his kids to fuck about with her at Christmas. >:(

I really don't know why Mam got back with him, he's a twat and he'll not fucking change. He's just like my dad, except he's actually a decent father, even if he's a crap husband.

D: D: D: D:

Mam's a big girl and can take care of herself, Mam's a big girl and can take care of herself, Mam's a big girl...

My favourite book is probably Sabriel by Garth Nix. It has an awesome heroine who uses magic, a snarky cat sidekick who really wants to kill her, and a prince who's been a ship's figurehead for two hundred years. Oh, did I mention the Undead hordes? This book is fucking awesome, and is the first part in a trilogy that is also fucking awesome. The world is well built, the characters are believable, and the plot is compelling. A+.

My mother and brothers can't come to see me because of the weather, I have to work, I'm sick, I still don't know if I'm working Boxing Day and because of that, I may be spending Christmas alone. Fuck, I'm crying again. This'll be my first Christmas alone, and I'm scared if the snow keeps up the trains will be cancelled, so no going to Dad's, which was the original plan. If I'm not working on Boxing Day or the day after, I'm going home, and Dad can get fucked. I've seen my brothers three times this year, and it's not enough. I'm going home if I can at all manage it.

So, I went to Twycross Zoo today with Mumsy, Stepdad, and the Things. I didn't post about this, but Mam and Edgar have broken up. He left a week before Christmas to shack up with a tart from karate. He left his kids, before Christmas, to go play happy families with another woman and her kids. As you may be able to tell, I wasn't too happy about this. However, we all put aside our differences to give the kids a good day out.

Then, on the way home, Edgar told Mam he wants us all to move to Portugal together, but not get back with Mam. Essentially, he wants a family, without the responsabilities that come with it. He wants a fucking beard, for Christ's sake.

I despair of humanity sometimes, I really do. Between him and Dad, it's no wonder I have no faith in relationships with men.

Amsterdam was nice, but we were about an hour away from the city centre, and Dad insisted we walk, so understandably, we were pissed. This culminated with an hour and a half's walk back from the pub at half one in the morning, in a foreign city where I don't know the language. Dad was drunk, and after we stopped talking 'cause we were tired, he reverted to self pity, which ended with an argument that went something like this:

Dad: I just feel like the worst father in the world. (For like the fortieth time that night)Me: Enough! I don't have the energy to deal with your ego. I'm tired, i'm cold, I'm scared and my feet hurt because we got lost. Don't say you feel bad twenty times; say it once and then fix it.( Jesus, that sounds awful when I type it back)(ten minutes later)Dad : You shouldn't pretend to be thirty, Keeva, It doesn't suit you.Me: If you're gonna act like a teenager, then someone has to be grown up.

This is basically how every interaction with my father has gone since I was fourteen. I know I'm not the world's best daughter, and I know I'm selfish and rude at times, but he's the parent and I'm not supposed to be looking after him. I spent years trying to please him and he never gave a damn, but now I've had it, and he comes crawling after me, wanting to be my best friend? Fuck that for a game of soilders.

Hello, me duckies! So, I know I haven't written in a while, I'm making up for it by telling you about my family.

There is me, the oldest child. Normally found in either my bedroom or the dining room on the computer.

There are my (half)brothers T and A. T is also known as Mini-Me, as he is a tiny male version of yours truly. We've just been geeking out about Doctor Who. A is more of a Ben 10 kinda guy, but he gives great cuddles. They are 5 and 4 respectively.

Mum and Stepdad Edgar. Mumsy is the lovely woman who raised me for ten years alone, Ed is the really cool stepdad i never knew I wanted. Mam works in a uni (not as a teacher, she's with the finance lot), Ed is a taper and jointer. They're cool, but we are the kind of family that shouts a lot, so expect rants on here.

Outside the family home, there is Dad and Stepmum Joey up in Lancaster. Dad's a physicist, something to do with solar weather, but he works as a lecturer at the uni. Joey is doing her phd. My half sister Baby A and sort of sister Apes live with their mum in town.

Finally, there is Nannan P, best nannan in the world and woman extraordinaire. She's recovering from surgery at the mo ( pelvic floor) so she's all laid up, but normally she never stops, working at the hospice charity shop in town.

I have other relatives, but these are the main players in my life, my pack, my family. Note them well, readers, there shall be drama popping up soon!