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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Baby on the Brain..

Let me talk a little more candid than normal...

Cesar and I have been talking about having a baby together since the dawn of time. No, really it was more like a few months into us dating. He even had a secret surgery when we had been dating for a month or two to have his vasectomy reversed. Yes, my husband was 26-27 when he decided to have a vasectomy... I had no play in that action and to be honest as frustrating as our journey has been getting pregnant,it would possibly been non-existent if he had not decided in his prior marriage to have it done, Or we would have so many children that we would not have been able to focus on our love and marriage. I would NEVER fault his decisions, his situation was not a positive one to experience in a marriage. Enough about that... I said he decided very early on (when I told him I would TOTALLY love to have children with him) to have his vasectomy reversed. As you can probably guess, it did not take, but is it not funny how things work out ... Our doctor explained that had the reversal prior not been done, our percentage or chance of concieving nature would be much graver. It has not happened yet, but we were able each year to focus on bettering ourselves, learning each other, loving each other for husband and wife. I have grown up wanting to be a mother, it is embedded inside of me... BUT, I also wanted to be a young mom, like mine. Man, I am pretty sure we have had some people watching over us that everything happens for a reason, and to BE PATIENT lol.

Here are a few challenges we have overcome through the years:

I was diagnosed Type 1 Diabetes (rare for my age)

My father passed away

Alexandria's mother was a huge challenge (another story, another day)

We gained temporary custody of Alexandria

Gained Full custody of Alexandria

Went from being part-time, to full-time mom.

We lived in my mother and father-in laws garage.- Yes, a couch, bed and air mattress on the floor for a long time... lo-ng time.

Moved into our first home as a family of three.

All of that happened as a test to show ourselves that we, Cesar and I are a force to be reckoned with, succeeding it all. I believe that if we had a child before all of the challenges we had faced ,we might not have known the fight and strength we were capable of fighting together as a couple. We are a family unit, I raise Alexandria as my child, and she thinks of me as her mother. I know that happened for a reason, someone wanted to give her a fighting chance to make a successful woman out of her, and allow her to live her life to her full potential (overachiever status-which she is) LOL.

I setup this post to be more informative than typical to explain how much we had been dreaming of the day that we could find that specific amount of money, that we do not run into EVER that would allow us to start trying..WE DID IT with a lot of support from the two of our families.

Late last year, Cesar and I decided to find a Doctor we felt comfortable with running, never looking back. We found that match, we feel very comfortable and hopeful that this is will bring many things to us. Cesar is set to have his surgery exactly 3 weeks from this day. He is nervous, I am anxious but just knowing that we have taken the steps to open to the next chapter of our lives is enough to smile ear to ear, re-evaluate your love. I cannot tell you the happiness my heart has for husband and daughter- but my love for those two grows deeper thinking that we might grow our little family into 4. We stay pretty open with Alexandria and our family, they know what we are going through. I think a lot of them are very proud, and just as excited now as we are. No matter what comes of this, does not matter- I have the love of my life and sweet child already to love forever and always, right by my side.

I was very apprehensive about this post, actually putting it out there...Honestly, we have been more patient than ever (8 years)... I want to be open with my followers and hopefully give inspiration to any family or wife in a similar situation or to just give a little glimpse into the evolution of our life together. You can see how we have baby on the brain so much :)

This is Elizabeth from Instagram Heavenly_e_77. .I am going thru a lot right now myself (medically) and haven't done much the last few weeks but read so I decided after seeing your post about your blog I thought I should check it out. And somehow started here. I send my best wishes to you and your lovely family. I know the road is long and hard, but the best part is you have your best friend and I'm sure he's holding your hand extremely tight. I will continue to read and I throughly enjoyed reading this. You are very blessed. Best wishes~Elizabeth