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Monday, September 12, 2011

Chocolate is a food group.

I believe I may be onto my third week of carbless diet. Please tell me (if there is anyone out there reading this rant) if you are over hearing about the subject of my thighs.

I am still not eating carbs at this point apart from the miniscule peice of naan bread my mother force fed me last night. But it seems as much as I am taking control of one food group I am going a bit mental with another.

Frankly I believe as women we are allowed to classify chocolate as a food group. I seem to be the only woman out there crazy enought to admit I have a choclate addiction. Everyone else is lying when they say the don't eat sweet things, otherwise they are all baked.

I think they may have code names for their chocolate. For instance; "I ate my entire almond stash last night, I feel so guilty."

Infact while typing this I am devouring a Kit Kat. And have also just been informed by my boss who is the know it all of weight watchers that sugar turns to carbohydrate in your body. Which could explain why I am not a skinny bitch yet.

Last night I decided to go without my usual choccie. I swear it was like going without a cigarette for a good few hours. I honestly started to twitch. The BF looked over at me worryingly. "Should I go down to the shop for you?" "No BF, I must get a handle on this addiction."

BF stood by while I got more and more frustrated at Bruce Willis on SABC 3, I swore when a skinny asian lady kicked his arse. I recall shouting; "How can you let that skinny asian bitch klap you silly?"

It all got a bit much for me so I retired to bed ... early.

The dilemma is chocolate is a HUGE thing in our family, just like pasta. I told my brother about carbless diet and he was horrified. "It's not healthy Noo."

My mother who is pasta and chocolate mad is skinny. She has NO idea. None. Whatsoever. The woman has never dieted in her life. Last night she asks me (and this is normal); "Do you have a chocolate for tonight?" And then she pulls out a foot long slab from her cupboard and waves it in my face.

If you are not eating chocolate after a massive bowl of pasta there is something gravely wrong with you in my family.

Tonight I am going to amp up (well more like start) the exercise. Because frankly I will try my utmost to not consume too much chocolate but it's too good to banish.

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