In a speech in Malacañang, President Duterte admitted, “My only sin is extrajudicial killings.” And then he said, “I’m not under oath, am I?”

Defending Duterte’s statement, Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Panelo said, “He’s Bisaya.” PNP Chief Oscar Albayalde said it was uttered “because of frustration” while former senator Juan Ponce Enrile insisted, “Only one was killed and none was arrested in Duterte’s war on drugs.”

Everyone expected palace spokesman Harry Roque to say that President Duterte was just joking. But in a radio interview, Roque said the President was just being “playful.” And then he went on to thank his friend who gave him a new thesaurus on his last birthday.

_____________

According to President Duterte, drug dependents were to blame for the country’s rice crisis. In a joint statement, Agriculture and NFA officials denied they were drug dependents.

President Duterte joked that recovering drug dependents, whom he described as “mga ulol” (crazed) were to blame for the country’s rice crisis because they have started eating again. Recovering drug dependents then expressed alarm when Duterte added, “I will appoint Ozamiz City Police Chief Jovie Espenido to the NFA.”

I just noticed there’s Duterte, a joke, drug dependent, and ulol in one sentence. Apologies for the redundancy.

In his next speech, the President will try to figure out a way to blame the peso’s slump on drug addicts.

_____________

Palace spokesman Harry Roque says the “foremost priority” of the Duterte administration right now is “fighting inflation.” In case you’re not aware, inflation was arrested last week on rehashed rebellion charges but was released after posting bail.

_____________

Solicitor General Jose Calida has threatened to file a libel complaint against Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV if the senator “doesn’t express his sincere apology” for accusing him of stealing his amnesty application documents. Calida insists he is not a thief. Is he being playful too?

_____________

Last September 12, President Duterte revealed an alleged plot to oust him on Sept. 21. Nothing happened. This week, the military said there was a plot to bring down Duterte in October (calling it ‘Red October’) and another in November and one more in December. So far, two “leaders” of the alleged plot to eliminate Duterte are being monitored. They were identified as Buerger and Barrett.

_____________

Former senate president Aquilino Pimentel Jr. advised Communications Assistant Sec. Mocha Uson to stop meddling in the government’s federalism campaign and go back to showbiz instead. In response, ‘showbiz’ said, “We already have Robin Padilla. We can only take so much.”

Chinese-backed Maldivian President Abdulla Yameen, the tyrannical leader who jailed political rivals on dubious charges lost his re-election bid earlier this week. Yameen appeared on television to concede. He was flanked by his two sons, Baste Yameen and Pulong Yameen.
_______________________________________________________________________________“A guilty conscience needs no accuser.”
~Anonymous

Sound Bites
“Extraordinary statement by a Head of State (and we have had many this week at the UN): my ‘only’ sin is #EJK. Translation: my only sin is imposing unthinkable sufferings on 1000s of vulnerable families, emboldening corrupt policing, destroying rule of law.”~Agnes Callamard, United Nations special rapporteur