In Which Everything Goes Wrong But In The Easiest Way Possible

3 pm Friday: E calls to tell me he might not be able to come with us to Sesame Place for the weekend.

6 pm Friday: E calls to tell me he can PROBABLY come with us but not until 11 am on Saturday.

7 am Saturday: E calls to tell me he probably isn’t going to make it.

9 am Saturday: E calls to tell me he definitely isn’t going to make it so I should just take the kids and go. I make vague “Oh I don’t know…maybe we should just cancel…” noises but decide to go because I already paid for the hotel.

10 am Saturday: We hit the road!

10:10 am Saturday: We come home, because I forgot our season passes!

10:15 am Saturday: We re-hit the road!

10:30 am – 1:00 pm Saturday: The kids sleep almost the whole way, there’s no traffic, I only get a tiny bit lost and we make it to the park right as they open for the afternoon.

1:15 pm – 8:00 pm Saturday – Super good fun time at Sesame Place!

8:10 pm Saturday – Drive across the street to super nice hotel.

9:00 pm Saturday – Everyone is in jammies and in bed, but my migraine is horrible.

Midnight – Evan starts coughing so hard he throws up. I clean him up and get him a glass of water. He throws up into the glass of water. I get a new towel to clean him up again. He throws up again and I manage to catch it all on the towel. “Wow, nice catch Mommy!” says Evan.

12:30 am Sunday – Evan falls back asleep.

4:00 am Sunday – I wake up with my migraine pounding.

6:00 am Sunday – Caroline wakes up ready to party.

7:30 am Sunday – I decide I need a shower to relax and help my head. Caroline decides she needs to stand right outside the shower and scream.

7:40 am Sunday – I let Caroline join me in the shower so she’ll stop crying. She screams some more, rubs soap in her eyes, then tries to climb out of the tub and falls RIGHT on her chin.

7:41 – 7:42 am Sunday – Caroline bleeds on every surface in the hotel room while I frantically try to get dressed, stop the bleeding, and text my friend Kim to see if she can help me throw stuff in the car to find an emergency room.

7:45 am Sunday – Kim insists on taking Evan, I head to the nearest ER which amazingly shares a parking lot with our hotel.

8:30 am Sunday – Caroline attempts to give herself a stroke screaming her head off while the doctor gives her 3 stitches in her chin.

8:31 am Sunday – All the blood drains from my head, I start to feel hot and I ask the nurse helping me hold Caroline down if I can sit for a minute. She looks at me and says “OH MY GOD, SIT DOWN.”

8:32 am Sunday – I slump into a chair right as I lose consciousness. I wake up to a cup of water for me, apple juice for Caroline and some concerned looked medical staff.

8:40 am – 9:00 am Sunday – Caroline and I snuggle on the hospital bed until we both feel better, then head back to the hotel.

9:30 am Sunday – Caroline and I get some breakfast while Evan swims in the pool with Kim and her boys.

10:00 am Sunday – I decide we won’t be sticking around to do more Sesame Place and we head home.

2:00 pm Sunday – Home. Mickey Mouse on TV. I take 3 Excedrin and lie on the couch.

3:30 pm Sunday – E gets home and orders pizza. I basically give up on parenting and let the kids run wild.

7:00 pm Sunday – BED.

Basically, it was like a nightmare wrapped in a puke-covered towel, covered in screaming.

Except that really…it wasn’t that bad. The drive to Sesame was nice and easy. We were all dressed warmly and no one was whiny. The park wasn’t very busy and the kids got to ride lots of rides and see plenty of characters. We got to hang out with Kim and her mom and her wonderful boys. Even though we were all cough-y, Evan slept through my coughing and Caroline slept through Evan’s puking. Evan went right back to sleep after he got sick. No one complained to the hotel about our noise levels. Caroline handled her injury really well and didn’t seem to be in a lot of pain. The ER was so close, almost empty and everyone was super nice. The doctor took one look at Caroline, said “Yep, stitches” and immediately got the nurse in to get stuff started. She’ll be better by Friday and have her stitches out before her birthday party. She won’t have a big ugly scar. I didn’t hurt myself fainting. Thanks to my awesome friend Kim, Evan got to swim and have fun with his friends instead of spend the morning in the ER with me. Our drive home was pleasant and easy and traffic-free. I got pizza for dinner.

So in the end, despite the various…disasters, we had a nice weekend. The kids had fun. Caroline has totally forgotten her chin. I didn’t freak out. It didn’t scare me into never leaving the house again. On Monday, I packed up the kids and drove 45 minutes to a super-awesome kids museum. Then we ate lunch in a sit-down restaurant with friends. We had a lovely day and I already think the whole thing is funny.

It sort of feels like a win, which is something pre-kid Suzanne would NEVER call a weekend that involved cleaning up so many other people’s bodily fluids. Motherhood is crazy.

Damn, mama, you’re earning ALL the parenting merit badges. If it helps, I split my chin open and had my first lifetime scar by the time I was Caroline’s age. So. Builds character. Kudos to you for handling it solo. Everyone lived!

I’m going in on Friday. I’m 99% sure the two fainting occasions were unrelated – I fainted in the ER because I was holding down my screaming child and I looked right up into her incredibly deep chin wound while the doctor was sewing it. I cannot handle that level of gross. But I’m going to have the doctor check my blood pressure and sugar and other stuff, just to make sure.

Suzanne,
Has your primary care doctor ever referred you to a cardiologist to have an ECHO done. You faint/pass out and I know you blame/explain it on pain/etc but with Uncle Scott’s history it might be worth looking into, it is hereditary. I has it checked out.
Just an idea and not meant to concern you.
Love Aunt Katie!

Oh my god! I kept reading and saying “no!” out loud. So everyone here thinks I’m crazy. But dude. I can’t believe what you went through BY YOURSELF. And you handled it all with such grace. I bow down. Seriously.

You are amazing! Like seriously. I would never attempt half the stuff you do alone with the kids. Really, you should seriously be proud of yourself for not letting E’s crazy work schedule keep your kids from getting to do fun stuff…because I probably would. And they way you are still willing to do it after the weekend you just had…super duper amazing!

Gosh, so glad you are able to look at this all positively. Amazing what a mum can get through and still feel ok about it. Poor all of you though, it sounds rough. Do think you need to get yourself checked out properly.
My only ever injury as a kid was splitting my chin open when I was 10. My parents both managed to find an excuse to leave the room as I was getting stitched up as they are freaked out by blood. I got left on my own!!! Good on you for being there :)

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Bonjour! No I'm not French, it just sounded fancy. Sorry for the confusion. I'm Suzanne, a 36-year-old mom, photographer, Navy wife, blogger, baker, and amateur at pretty much everything else. The stars of the show are Evan, born 4/5/09, Caroline, born 12/19/2010 and Lincoln, born 7/23/2014. The last bebeh is Finnegan, born 8/30/2016 so he's a toddler now but don't talk to me about that. We live in Connecticut and enjoy it very much except for most of February and March. You can find more of my photos (or even hire me!) over on my photography site, Ginger Snaps Pictures. I love hearing from you so if you have questions, stories or ideas to share, email me at bebehblog@gmail.com .

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