Ke$ha invites Britney to get naked with her. Rosie O'Donnell is on Team Chris Brown. Christina Aguilera giggles at her "hiccups." Lindsay Lohan causes another fender-bender. Tuesday gossip is hit or miss.

Ke$ha wrote a song on Britney Spears' new album, which is selling well, so to celebrate the success Ke%ha suggests the two go skinny-dipping together. "It would be be a dress-up-like-Ke¢ha-or-Britney party…. I have a small, salt-water pool that has laser beams in it and a stereo so you can be underwater listening to music." Every time that girl tells a story, it sounds like the kind of lie a four-year-old tells. Ke&ha likes to swim in her pool with her flying cat, Butterscotch Bandit, who lives in the walls and meows in French. Butterscotch Bandit doesn't like water, so he wears a kitty wetsuit that the Little Mermaid made for him, and a snorkel made out of a shell, and a ring of bubbles as a crown. Speaking of which, did anyone figure out if "Pat the Rat" was real? [People, images via Getty]

Lindsay Lohan wore a "feathered mask" and "play[ed] the maracas" on a night partying in New York. She subsequently "created chaos" and caused a two-car pile-up outside a nightclub. You can take the starlet out of Hollywood… [P6]

Rosie O'Donnell is on Team Chris Brown: "I don't know why this kid seems to be held to a different standard than anybody else." In fact, she sympathizes with Breezy: "Part of me wanted to take a chair and throw it through the window at The View after all that happened. But, you know, there are no windows down there in that rat-infested cellar. Remember that cellar we were in? There were no windows. It was like a prison." A terrible prison where you earn millions of dollars for a 45-minute chat with three other ladies. Poor, suffering Rosie O'Donnell. She should start a celebrity refugee center, where she and Breezy can live together, in blissful chair-throwing harmony. [Dlisted]

The naked portrait of Kate Winslet from Titanic is hitting the auction block. It's expected to go for $16,000. [Moviefone]

Christina Aguilera on setbacks: "I can laugh about my own hiccups and my own experiences in life because I'm getting through it." Hiccups! Is that a surreptitious reference to public intoxication? She continues, "But I get to share these experiences with these people and I get to say not every performance day is going to be a great day." Now imagine her shouting that over loud music at a bar, bleary-eyed and with smeared lipstick. [Parade]

A-List attentionbot T.J. Kelly "assaulted and beat" a a guy at a club, according to the club guy, who told T.J. that his boyfriend sucked, and threw water on him. "He assaulted me and demanded I do what he said because he was a 'reality star,"" and "punched me so hard that he cut my face with his nail." But when someone punches you, his fingernails are curled up inside his fist, no? Club guy's injuries are more consistent with a bitch slap or eyeball-claw-out. [Radar]

Ashley Judd describes childhood abuse and molestation in her new memoir. Mother Naomi and sister Wynonna "have been quoted as saying that our family puts the 'fun' in dysfunction. I wondered: 'Who, exactly, was having all the fun? What was I missing?'" [Radar]

Real Housewife of Orange County Tamra Barney let her boyfriend do body shots off her in Mexico. If you're in your 40's and still doing body shots, it probably means you'll be doing them for life. At your children's weddings, at your retirement party, on your deathbed. Body shots off 80-year-old varicose veins. Body shots in spitting distance from your colostomy bag. [TMZ]

Reese Witherspoon on being famous and falling in love: "It's an exciting feeling. [Somebody saying], ‘You're the one.' And it's a surprise. You know, I'm surprised when people who aren't related to me see my movies. And you're surprised somebody wants to be with you because, boy, I've got a lot of quirks and wrinkles." Oh, shut up. Tracy Flick is fooling nobody with this gee-shucks down-home pudding-pie schtick. [ElleUK via Tom&Lorenzo]

Tyra Banks' neighbors are pissed about non-stop construction on her new $10 million condo. It's running six months behind schedule and the "ear-rattling drilling" has been terrorizing her neighbors for more than a year now. [P6]