"Who do you say
that I am?" Jesus asked. Simon Peter answered, "You
are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." And Jesus
answered, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! ... You are
Peter(petros), and on this rock(petra)
I will build my church..." Jesus then began to speak of
the rough road ahead. And Peter took him aside and rebuked him... "Get
behind me, Satan!" Jesus replied. "You are a stumbling
block..."(Matthew 16:13-23)

May these words of this Peter be like a rock,
not a stumbling block!

Mr. Funnytalk's Story

A Dramatic Reading for worship
presented December 29, 2002
Long Green Valley Church of the Brethren
Glen Arm, Maryland USA
based uponGalatians
4:4-7

Voice A
is - the nursing assistant,
- George Fahnestock/Mr. Funnytalk,
- Mrs. Higgins, and
- Wanda, as well as - to a lesser extent,
- the narrator.(Seek a distinctive voice for each character)
Voice B is
- the primary narrator, and
- Pastor Higgins.

This
reader’s theatre opens in the room of a nursing home patient. Mr.
Fahnestock (pronounced "fah-neh-stock" with
emphasis on the first syllable) is an elderly resident suffering
from an advanced case of Alzheimer’s disease. Except for one instance,
George’s dialog is intelligible, because it is intended to be an
internal voice. At first, the setting should seem to be the bedroom of a
young boy, for the window of time in this man’s life goes fluidly open
and shut. Each "* * * * *" represents a shift in
context, indicated by a pause, a slight shifting of position, or even
the turning of a page - as if a new chapter begins for the audience.

* * * * *

A - "Time to get up, George."

B - He squinted his eyes as the thrown back drapes revealed a bright morning.

A - "O.K., Mom,"

B - he mumbled. The nursing assistant went about her work, pulling out some
items from the dresser and laying them on the bedside table.

A - "Mr. Fahnestock,"

B - she said slowly and loudly,

A - "Here are your clothes for today. I'll help you to the bathroom, and
then we can put on your diaper and get dressed. O.K.?"

B - George smiled, but he didn't have the faintest idea who this person was,
or what she wanted of him. He did manage to follow her leading, and soon he was
seated in his wheelchair, a strap tying him down on either side. The foot rests
of his chair had been removed, which allowed him to use his feet to move around.
Like an infant in a walker, he made his way out into the hall and down the
corridor.

A - So many different faces, some of which looked familiar. Wasn't that
Martha over there? Then again, who was Martha? He couldn't quite remember. As
people walked by, he'd ask them a question, or try to tell them something. They
would only smile and move on. Didn't they understand English?

B - He ate his breakfast surrounded by his friends. Or, at least, he thought
they were his friends. He really wasn't quite sure who they were, but they were
at his table, so he must know them. One just sat there and drooled. Another was
very restless and was trying to get out of her chair.

A - "Now Tricia,"

B - he said,

A - "Mommy made us this special supper. Sit down and eat, please."

B - The woman continued to fidget, and George forgot her and Tricia, whoever
she was... Later, after breakfast, someone played the piano, trying to get a
group of them to sing.

A - "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way..."

B - The words flowed out of his mouth. From where they came, he wasn't quite
sure. Different images passed through his head: a Christmas tree, candles, a
bright red bicycle, a child's smiling face, an open Bible, a bow tie, sheep.

A - "Away in a manger no crib for a bed...,"

B - a stocking, laughter, gold, frankincense, and myrrh, egg nog, wrapping
paper... All these images floated through the air with the music, disconnected
but real. The words continued to pour out his mouth.

A - "Silent night, holy night..."

* * * * *

B - "Honey, I need to run some errands this afternoon. Is there any way
you could take care of Wanda, or do I need to call a sitter?"

A - "Well, she could come along with me. I need to get over to the
nursing home to visit George Fahnestock and a few others. They always like kids
to come along."

B - "Wasn't Mr. Fahnestock the one who lost his wife and daughter in a
car accident?"

A - "Yes. He lived alone for many years. Now that he's in the home, I'm
afraid Alzheimer’s is getting the best of him. It's been sad watching him
slowly lose touch with reality."

B - "Do you think it's all right for Wanda to visit him?"

A - "No problem. Besides, the church is about the only family he has
left. He could use somebody besides the minister visiting him."

* * * * *

B - Wanda sat in the seat next to her father, the shoulder belt tickling her
neck. In her arms she held her favorite baby doll.

A - "Daddy, why is Mr. Funnytalk in ‘a’ home? Aren't we visiting him
in his own house?"

B - "No, sweetheart. Mr. ‘Fahnestock’ is in a place we call a
'Nursing Home.' He's not able to take care of himself anymore. He needs other
people to help him. People called 'Nurses.' That's why we say it is a 'Nursing
Home.'"

A - "Is he the only one there?"

B - "No, there are other people who also can't take of themselves
anymore. Daddy needs to visit a few of these, too."

A - "Don't they have a family to take care of them, like I have you and
Mommy?"

B - "Well, some of them do. Not Mommies and Daddies, because these are
older people. Many of them have grown-up children. Sometimes it's very hard for
these children to take care of their parents."

A - "Does Mr. Funnytalk have any children?"

B - "No, honey, he doesn't. Once upon a time he had a daughter, maybe
just like you. I think her name was Tricia. Then a sad thing happened. She and
her Mother were killed. He never married anyone else, or had any more
children."

A - "Is he all alone?"

B - "I don't know of any brothers and sisters, or any other family.
Nobody else visits him."

A - "Jesus wouldn't like that."

B - "What honey?"

A - "Jesus wouldn't want him to be alone."

B - "Well, he's not exactly alone. Mr. Fahnestock has many people taking
care of him."

A - "But he is, Daddy. He doesn't have any family. Everybody needs a
family. That's why God sent Jesus, to make us a part of his family. You said
that."

B - "I guess I did, Wanda, I guess I did."

* * * * *

A - It was after lunch, and George was tooling his way down the hall, when
someone he vaguely remembered walked up to him.

B - "Hello, George,"

A - the man said slowly and loudly.

B - "I'm Pastor Higgins from First Church. Merry Christmas."

A - George repeated the now familiar holiday greeting back to this
"Pastor Higgins," although he wasn't quite sure who he was. The word
"Pastor" did ring a bell, and different pictures of various people
scurried through his head.

B - "Mr. Fahnestock, I'd like to introduce my daughter. Her name is
Wanda."

A - George looked at her and said, "Pleased to meet you,"

B - though to everyone else it sounded like

A - "Rik-ter stall-sink."

B - Pastor Higgins then took the handles of the wheelchair and pushed George
over to a nearby sitting room where they could visit. As they went, Wanda walked
beside the chair. Halfway down the hall she reached out and took George's hand
and held it.

A - Once there and settled, George looked long and hard at this little person
who held his hand. It felt so good. Her hand was warm. Furthermore, she wasn't
doing anything to him. Most people did something to him when they touched him.
This little person just touched him, and she smiled.

B - The bigger person was talking, but George wasn't paying much attention.
He kept focused on the other. Suddenly all sorts of memories flooded his
awareness. Like sparks lighting a pile of kindling, a fire briefly burned in his
brain.

A - Tricia, my precious Tricia. He recalled the Christmas they gave her a
bicycle. She was so happy. He had spent hours trying to put it together. Shiny
red it was. She loved it. That was the happiest moment of his life, seeing her
face all aglow.

B - George began to tell Pastor Higgins and his daughter all about it. Of
course, the words did not come out as he intended. It sounded like a garbled
mess. He was obviously excited about it.

Pastor Higgins had never seen him this animated. He was a little worried that
Wanda might become frightened. After all, his daughter had only just met the
man. Perhaps he should have spoken to Wanda about what to expect.

A - George told them all about that Christmas, all the details he could
remember. The new dress his wife had made Tricia, how she wore it to church on
Christmas Eve and the next Sunday. The gift Tricia had made for him, a green
felt bow tie with a red ball in the middle. He told them about how he put her on
his lap and read the Christmas story from the Bible. The journey to Bethlehem,
the manger, the shepherds, the kings.

B - George told it all, as much as he could remember. Finally, he began to
run out of steam, and the time came for Wanda and her father to leave. Before
they left, Wanda placed something in his hands, reached over and whispered in
his ear,

A - "I'll be back,"

B - and kissed him on the cheek.

* * * * *

B - Later, as they were driving home, her father asked if she was O.K.

A - "Of course I'm O.K., Daddy. Why?"

B - "Well, Mr. Fahnestock was a little more excited than he usually is,
and I wondered if you were getting a little scared."

A - "No, Daddy, not at all. Mr. Funnytalk is a very nice man."

B - "It's O.K. if you didn't understand what he said, you know. I sure
didn't."

A - "But, Daddy, he was telling us his story. Everybody has a story to
tell. You told me that."

B - "I guess I did, didn't I."

A - "Daddy?"

B - "What honey?"

A - "Can we go back and visit him again? I like him. Can he be my Uncle
George?"

B - "I suppose so, if you really want him to be. Let's get home. We've
got a Christmas Eve service to get ready for."

* * * * *

A - George sat in that room for quite a while, holding onto the
present the little girl had given him. A little baby doll.

B - He wheeled his chair over to a table and looked for a long time at the
Nativity set someone had placed there. Then he tooled his way out into the hall,
holding the doll close to his chest, and singing