Negative people aren't bad people; they just see the world differently. And negative people don't have to be obvious--it can be someone who, in almost every way, appears to be "normal" and pleasant--but on the inside, that person feels themselves to be a victim. It's all about perspective.

An individual's unique perspective is unique because that person has a unique POSITIONALITY. Positionality is the term used to acknowledge how every individual has multiple factors involved in who they are, like, where they grew up, what religion their family practiced, what economic background they grew up with, their birth order, their gender...even something like the color of a person's hair can affect positionality.

As always, I recommend compassionate wisdom when dealing with both obvious and clandestine negative attitudes. It's not easy to do. I know. We're all only human and a typical reaction to negativity is often repulsion. But try to imagine the negative individual's positionality--all the factors that went into that person's negative mindset. You can't change that kind of environmental influence; all you can do is take the advice of some animated penguins: "Smile and nod."

Truly, to enter into argument with a "victim" is a conundrum unto itself--there is no winning. You may learn the victim's triggers, and that will help you deal with that person's negativity as well--but in general, these negative people--obvious or not--are trying and can wear on you, so protect yourself as best you can. Once again, the penguins' advice comes to mind.

Now, I'm not excusing negative behaviors at all; people have the ability to change IF they choose--and in my opinion, once a person reaches approximately 30-years of age--their excuses have run out. We're all products of our environment to some degree. At a certain point in our adulthood, however, each of us has the ability to evolve our perspective--to look outside of our primary influences and make changes to improve ourselves. Unfortunately, introspection in today's world isn't exactly encouraged.

So it boils down to a lot of acceptance for the thinkers in the group. You really can't do much to help the victims--they've convinced themselves that's who they are--and may even be psychologically dependent on their victimhood. It is always easier to see the self as blameless and find others in contempt of an offense. And it's true that some people truly are victims. Circumstances beyond their control converged to create a horrible result--cancer patients, for example, are victims of such circumstance. People who are discriminated against because of their skin tone or religious beliefs or age or lack of mobility are also victims of circumstance. But if you look at those individuals, they are often more driven and continue to move forward, despite the circumstances that put them in a position to be a legitimate victim.

More often than not, those inviduals who perpetually feel they are victims are only victims of themselves. They haven't evolved beyond their primary influences. They allow those primary influences to control how they think and feel for the rest of their lives. They make those CHOICES because it's EASIER than facing the reality that they simply aren't living up to their potential. Being a victim is often warranted in society, too. Self-made victims tend to be "yes-people." They won't stand up for themselves because they WANT to continue their victimhood.

I just want to live a happy, peaceful life. I don't blame anyone for my disabilities, my cancers, the discrimination I've faced in my life--my daily wish is to continue moving forward, even while there are people trying to hold me back. One of the worst crimes against humanity is suppressing the individual who wants to fly. And though compassionate wisdom must still be applied to the self-made victims of this world, that wisdom does not necessarily include an automatic excuse for negative behavior...even if you must continue to smile and nod.

Think of the people who made positive impacts in your world and asked for nothing in return--then pay that positivity forward. Break out of your victim-cycle if you're in one. I know a doctor of psychology who feels that not everyone is created equal--and whether we are or we aren't--we ALL have EQUAL opportunity to improve ourselves. Why? Because self-improvement begins in our hearts. All humans have it--so there is no excuse. Be brave! Face your reality. And begin making positive waves in this world! I believe in you....

Have a very POSITIVE weekend, dear readers!

PS: Happy birthday wishes to one of my best gal-pals, Chris, who strives to perpetuate positivity in her life and the lives of others each day....

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About the Author

Rebecca Housel, Ph.D., known as "The Pop Culture Professor" (TM), is an international best-selling author and editor in nine languages and 100 countries. Rebecca, listed in the Directory of American Poets & Writers for her work in nonfiction, was nominated by Prevention magazine essayist and best-selling author of The ImmortalLife of HenriettaLacks, Rebecca Skloot, to the National Association of Science Writers for her work on cancer. Rebecca has published with best-selling author of The Accidental Buddhist, Dinty Moore's literary nonfiction journal, Brevity, and with commercial publications like Redbook magazine and online journals like In Media Res. Her recent interviews appear in publications such as the LA Times, Esquire, USA TODAY, The Huffington Post, Inside HigherEd, Woman's World magazine, and Marie Claire as well as on FOX news, and NBC. Former President of the New York College English Association, Housel was a professor in both Atlanta and New York, teaching popular culture, film, creative writing, literature, and medical humanities. Dr. Housel currently works on the Editorial Advisory Boards for the Journal of PopularCulture and the Journal ofAmerican Culture; she has also worked as a reviewer for Syracuse University Press and Thomson Wadsworth. A writer of all genres, Housel has written and published both fiction and nonfiction in over ten books and 398 articles, essays, book chapters, book reviews, and encyclopedia entries.