To be honest, I dont have a really clear reason why I'm writing this but it could be because my friends always talking about this to me and I always be the listening ear even I'm also struggle with my own feeling. And when something like this happen, I tend to observe the situation, trying to understand and find solution ( if there is ). I really want to help my friends if I can or at least I find way to comfort them. Also, we dont just learn lessons from our own story but also from others too. If we really open our eyes ( mind and heart too of course ), sure there will be a lot to be learnt. And me too, still in process to understand the lesson. And if I have understand the lesson properly, I will share it in future post. InshaAllah.y

By the way, thanks to that one person I was inspired to get back to write again and inshaAllah I will try to write more regularly. I'm a newbie so if there is any mistake do tell me. Whether the grammar or language or idea or anything that contained in my post.

And in the end, I hope that my spirit always burn up. Keep writing dearself !

I choose writing to be a part of theraphy in my life beside other things too. In the same time I can learn how to put my mind and heart into words. Hope I ( and others also ) can pick as much benefits from this. Hopefully.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Our first 31 days have gone like a blink of eyes isn't it? Even so, here comes life lessons for this past month.

1. Being a good person doesn't mean that person is a saint, it doesn't mean no mistake at all, no sin. As we all know, all human being is a sinner and we know the best among the sinner is the one who repent. So if we realize that we just commit sin, doesn't matter how big or small it is, don't give up to ask for His forgiveness as He is the one who forgive the most.

2. Sin is something that clearly bad for us. But sometimes it's something that bring us closer to Allah. and anything that brings us closer to Allah is a blessing despite how it looks from the outside. I don't mean for us to always commit sin but what I mean is as we can't run away from commiting sin, we should make it something that bring us closer to Allah so it doesn't waste just like that.

3. We can't change our past but we can change our future. We may have something that make us wish to turn back the time so we can change what we have did, even we know it's impossible. We may the worst one in past but have faith that we still have the change to be someone better, the best version of us. Stay chill if people talk about the bad thing about us, as people will keep talking. In the end, only us know the latest version of us, whether it's the better or worse.

4. Our stories may not same to each other. Each of us has different stories and different stories doesn't mean it's wrong. It's not wrong, it just different. Don't feel down when this happen, keep our head straight, our story is just special the way it is. Remember, each of our life story is the best one as it's written by Him, the best writer.

5. Never judge others. Yeah sometimes I also did it but I already had my lesson because of it. Thanks to it, I learnt a lot. Usually when we judge others, the same thing will happen to us. When we judge others, we don't try to understand their situation, that's why sometimes it happen back to us so we can understand better. So just as reminder, keep in mind, don't judge others.

6. Be thankful if there is someone who always support us whether from behind or side, any way can do. When we feel like too tired to fight, they will say ' Just a little more, you can do it!'. You know, this kind of situation is really heartwarming, touching every inch of our heart.

7. To be success, to get what we want, by hook or by crook, we need to sacrifice. In the scope of study, we may get less sleep, less play, less movie, less game and such so we have most time for what we trully want. It may drain our energy to the extent we feel like we have no energy left, but believe me it worth it. The torture is just temporary but the result is forever. Keep praying so Allah ease everything and help us always.

8. Not everyone that study will success but to be success we need to study. Even that person is overly genius, study is still a must. Don't stop studying even we feel like there is no hope left as nothing is impossible for Allah. Seek for His help, He will obviously help.

9. We rarely got a second change so if we got one, don't get it waste or we will regret it.

10. Love sometimes make us weak, sometimes make us strong. So which one, we choose.

This all for this month. Hope the days after this will continuously filled with happiness, even it comes with price. Keep strong guys!

Sunday, January 15, 2017

'If we find someone good, don't try to find someone better'. What I mean, we may try to find someone perfect but in reality, everyone know that no one is perfect. Even ourselves. Why we try to find someone that even us can't be? By the way, when we try to find someone better, we may lost someone that actually the best for us. Only ourselves know who is the best for us. There may be someone that better than that person but that doesn't mean the other person is better for us. Also, no one want to be left because their partner find 'someone better', so if we want that not to happen, don't do same thing. Also, only us know what we trully want and hope from that person. So think deeply, think about what actually that we want. Is it the perfection? Or is it that person that we want? Just think and we will know.

'Be responsible for everything that we did and don't regret for every choice that we make'. In our everyday life, we always need to choose, make a decision for what we want to do. And sometimes, we can't deny that we do make mistakes, as we only a human being. So that's why, before we choose to do something, think about its effect. Don't let other to influence our choice as we are the one that will fully responsible to it. Make a choice that we won't regret. Make a choice that we willing to take the risk. Remember, don't try to run away once we need to be responsible for something that we did. Running away doesn't fix anything. Things will only get worse. By the way, even we did mistake, don't regret. We have something to learn. Just don't repeat the same mistake. Always repent and turn back to Him. Ask for His forgiveness and pray so we don't make the same mistake. If we make mistake to others, say sorry. It costs nothing. And when we say sorry, say it from the bottom of our hearts.

'Love ourselves, treasure ourselves and believe in ourselves'. We may keep overlook about something like love our own self which mean accept whoever we are. People keep questioned about their weakness. It's hard for most people to accept it. If even we can't accept ourselves, how can we expect others to accept how we are? Treasure ourselves, tell ourselves that we did great sometimes, we need to motivate ourselves by our own don't we? And the last thing, believe in ourselves that we can do it when we feel it like kinda impossible. If others can believe in us, why we don't? Addition in this, we are lucky if we have someone that believe in us more than we believe in ourselves. To those kind of people, love them, treasure them and also believe in them.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Among the novel outside there, one of my most favourite is Versus by Hlovate. I also love the other novels by Hlovate as Hlovate is kind of a good novelist but Versus definitely the most that I love. I don't know why but maybe its storyline has a lot common with things that I face in my life and what I feel through it. Maybe.

By the way, please don't read this post unless you are someone who already read that novel completely from skin to skin and I, of course have done read it. Twice, on 2013 and 2016. I don't usually read something more than once but for some reasons I read it for the second time.

From it, I do learnt a lot. Like usual, I like to share lessons that I found from anywhere. Even it just look like an ordinary novel from the outside, from its cover. Yeah that's why we shouldn't judge the book by its cover. I do it too sometimes. I can't help it since how the cover looks like really can be something that attract me or not.

The first thing that I can remember is the definition of good. Well, all of us want to be a good human being. Don't we? But what is the guideline on how to be someone good? Easy to say, good is something that Allah ask us to do and bad is something that Allah ask us not to do. That's mean if we already pray five times a day but still not cover our aurah properly, it's not good enough. Also if we follow only parts of them and leave the rest, it's not enough. Practicing Islam isn't something that we did only the parts that we want to. It means we have to practise all of them. Nothing exclude. Many people said what is the use if someone pray but they still hurt others and there is always a lot of people that not pray outside there or not cover their aurah properly but they don't do something that hurt others. Why it's like that? Shouldn't prayer be something that prevent someone from do something bad? Let me tell you a story. A guy met Hamka and he said that he has two neighbours. One of them doesn't pray but he doesn't hurt others while the other one is someone who pray but he always hurt others. He asked why it's happen like that. And Hamka said, the person that doesn't pray if he pray he will be someone better and the person who pray if he doesn't pray he will be someone worse.

Sometimes we never thought of being someone better as we thought it's enough the way we are. But if we really take a deep thought and think about ourselves, there always be something that we can fix inside ourselves. We may recite Quran everyday, but we may still not understand it properly, not practising it completely and so on. There is a lot to be fix, actually. Do it little by little is fine as long we never give up. Changing into someone better isn't something that happen in a blink of eyes. It takes time. To not doing something that we always did and doing something that we never do is never easy. Be grateful if Allah ease your path as this kind of path is full with a lot of test, a great one. Keep our time full of kindness so we don't have time to do something bad or even think about it. Also, be thankful if Allah turn our heart away from the evil thing and make us have no feeling to do it. Believe me, it is a blessing.

Other thing that put me interesting in this novel is the two main characters, a guy and a girl. They are not unite during the beginning and they are apart for years but yet during the period of not seeing each other, they keep fixing theirselves, into someone better, a brand new one. These days, we always just find a good one, but why we are not trying to be a good one? We want someone that like this and this, but we don't do any much progress, for trying being someone better. It's not wrong to find someone good and nice, yeah everyone want a good one, everyone want the best. Just please be the best person that we can be. We may still not be the best but show effort at least and only us know whether we trully put effort or not.

There is lot that we can learn from this novel but it's better if you read it by yourselves as I also don't know how to put about how I feel when I read it. But what I can say, it's worth to read it. It's not that kind of 7 pm-drama-love-story. For me, it's something that do happen in reality, not just a fantasy that everything look beautiful and have no obstacle.

My last words, we change into better not for others but for ourselves because it's definitely the best thing for us. And sometimes, because of someone we change but we don't change because of that someone. Got it? And my trully last words, don't hesitate to change for good as changing for good isn't a crime. May Allah ease our path and keep us in His blessing, always.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Resolutions for 2017 aka my last year. I prefer to call it last year as it's what I want to achieve before I step out of this school. This year is my 7th year, being apart from family because of study. Stay far from family and having a little time to spend with family isn't easy. This year is my last so I really want to put my best. There is total 8 of them and I just list them randomly.

1. Drink a lot of water, at least three litres aka three bottles. Actually it's very important to drink water a lot. It help us to focus more in our study. It also make our skin look glowy. It's more important for someone who eat any supplements whether it's for beauty or health to drink more water. It's dangerous if they don't. The supplement will give effect affectively if we do drink a lot water.

2. Pray early. Train our own self to stop doing anything when it's time for prayer. If we can do this, that's mean we really put Allah as our first as He comes first over everything.

3. Finish all books that I bought before KLIBF 2017. It's important to finish all of them so there is no waste.

4. Never sleep in class ever again. Try our best to stay awake. Remember, half of success is stay focus in class.

5. Stay healthy, exercise at least once a week, at least do a stretching.

6. Memorize at a least a du'a to recite after pray.

7. Improve Arabic and English vocabulary by memorizing new words everyday. Language is important as it's the key of knowledge.

8. Be a better Allah's servant. Pray at the mosque. Don't be lazy and just pray alone. Don't be lazy even it's weekend.

Even it's list for 2017 or last year, I really hope I can still do all of these even 2017 already over and I hope all of these become my life routine. As for these resolutions, feel free to punish ourselves if we don't reach the target. I like to punish myself to pay some sum of money into my 'bank'. In the same time, I have my own savings. I also punish myself in many ways. There is a lot that we can use as punishment. And also, don't forget to reward ourselves if we did great. We do all of this so we give all of our commitment and take it seriously. By the way, it's important to write down this stuff so we clear what we want. So in the end, good luck for myself and you all too!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

It has been a while since I updated my blog, more than three months I guess. I've been super triple busy since I returned to school. A lot stuffs need to be managed since I have left school for quite a long time and I'm still busy even it's holiday. Holiday is over and I just have time to write.

So, since we can hear about New Year anywhere as 2016 is already over, I would like to share lessons that I learnt through out this year. It's important to learn from what happen in our life so we know how to fix ourselves to be someone better.

First, I took a leave from school for about two months and half. I returned when it's only two weeks before the exam. Tbh, it's one of the craziest thing that I ever did in my life. How can I cover everything in just two weeks? It's impossible. I've been down for a while somehow and for that only time that left for me, I just started study although I don't know how to start since it's too much. So, I just study any subjects that I want. I can't think whether time for me is enough or not. I don't have time to even think about it. I just study even I almost burst my brain, trying to understand everything. Of course, it comes with a lot of tears. I studied and cried at the same time. Just imagine, it's hard for me to understand even I present to class so it's a lot harder as I absent from it. That two weeks already over. Paper by paper, somehow I did pretty well. It's not that too well but it's more than okay for someone who absent for a long period. For that, I'm really grateful for my friends, trully grateful. Thanks for their notes, tutor and everything I'm able to write something during exam. I'm more than happy if I don't hand a blank paper. It's enough if I passed. Thanks to Allah, I have friends that really really nice. Without them, it must be really hard for me.

From this I learnt that if we depend on Allah totally, Allah will show the way, show the solution. Ask for His help. He will help. Even things still don't go like we plan, at least there will be peace in our heart. Also, it's absolutely true that we get to know our true friends only when we in hard situation. Even they don't know how to help us but they really show that they want to help us or at least they stay by our side, not leaving us struggling alone. Be thankful if you found that rare kind of friends. And from this, it reminds me to not hesitate to do good deeds. If we want to do something good, don't think twice, just do it. It may sacrifice our time or what, but Allah will ease everyhing. We don't know which deeds that may help us in future. So, do as much deeds that we can.

Second, appreciate everyone that make effort to keep in touch with us. Whether that person is our buddy from primary school or so on, or whether we don't close to them like before, or even we already have a tons of friends, if they show effort to keep our relationship with them, don't be the one that ruin that relationship. It's hard to find that kind of buddy nowadays.You are lucky actually if you find one. Learn to appreciate, please. *note to myself*

Third, speak of love may look cliche or whatsover but it's something you know only if you face that situation by yourselves, not other people. It must be very long if I want to write about my life and love and also, it's better to keep only few know about it so I won't write about it here. But I will still write what I learnt as lesson is something that need to be shared.

" Don't find love, one day love will find you ". Sometimes, the more we try to find, the more it go away from us. And sometimes, when we are busy trying to chase the love we want, the love that we need is actually always near to us. We just too blind to see it.

" When what we seek is human's love, it go away but when it's Allah's love that we seek, both will come to us ". Me too ever chasing human's love heartfully until one day I just feel tired to still doing it. So I put that love aside and I'm trying to find the true meaning of love. I'm still in the process but I found the answer little by little. Also, even it's not the same human's love that we seek before, Allah will send someone that out of our imagination into our life.

In our life we may do mistakes as we are humans and in the scope of love, we always do mistakes because it's hard to put our heads straight. It's not important who is wrong but what's more important is how to fix what we did wrong. If do it together, fix together. And even we make mistake, believe that there is way to fix it back. It may not be easy, but it will be the way.

For this topic, my advice is especially for girls, if we trully want someone, trully serious with that person, gather the courage, tell your parents. Don't decide by your own as this life isn't about you only. For girls, remember that whatever happen to you, someone else will have to be responsible for it beside you too.

Actually there is more that I can share but it seem like I forget what it is. So, if I remember I will update this post time by time. Stay tuned guys!

P/s: Thanks for everyone that always by my side through 2016, hope you all still by my side this year too. 2016, make me realize how much I grown up and 2017 remind me there is much more things that wait me ahead. More things to learn, hope I'm strong enough to learn the hardest lesson, life lesson. As long I live, I will learn.