I love avocados, sometimes (read: daily) stand on my head to get my creative juices flowing, and I could listen to The Beatles sing, “I’ve Just Seen A Face” everyday, for the rest of forever.

Wondering what goes on here? Yup, so are the rest of us.

1. I am a lifestyle photographer. I have the most remarkable clients in the world, and I share their images here to inspire us all to live life with greater love, meaning and joy.

2. I am a writer. This blog is full of many of the curious thinks I have thunk.

3. I am a speaker and life/business consultant. I post upcoming speaking engagements and consulting information here as well.

4. I am most fulfilled by my work as a wife and mother to my 4 sons, one of whom now lives in Heaven. I share bits and pieces of our journey here on this blog. Including our ongoing struggle with grief, our experiences with ADHD and SPD, and our solid faith in a God much bigger than the challenges we face.

But ultimately, I hope that this blog is about something much bigger than all of that.My dream is for this blog to be a place where real life comes to be celebrated and enthusiastically embraced. Not just the pretty stuff, with tailored hems, clean lines,and the new colors for spring . . . but everything else, too. The frazzled mornings, broken hearts, crazy dreams, messy kitchens. . . even the fear, failure, hopelessness and devastation. I want this blog to be a place for every bit of what makes us all living, breathing, feeling human beings, experiencing together this remarkable thing called life.

May this be a place of passion, purpose, laughter, tears, friendship, encouragement and inspiration for us all.

In 2010, our perfect *”Baby Gavin” returned to Heaven after losing a courageous battle with **Pertussis (whooping cough). We are eternally and profoundly grateful to the thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of friends and strangers from all over the world, of all faiths and creeds, who united with our family in prayer during Baby Gavin’s horrific illness and who grieved with us and continued to petition God in our behalf during the dark days following his tragic death. You may read Gavin’s story as it unfolded by visiting my old blog here. I am committed to sharing my ongoing struggles with grief and our journey toward joy here on the new blog. I am always humbled and amazed by the continued outpouring of love and support. Thank you for sharing in our journey and inspiring us with your unceasing love! God is good!

*My brother Gavin passed away unexpectedly in 2007. With all these Angel Gavins, it can get a little confusing at times, so just know that when I refer to “Gavin” I’m referring to my wonderful brother. When I refer to “Baby Gavin,” it is in reference to my perfect son, both of whom I cannot wait to see in Heaven!

**You will periodically see me blog about The Sounds of Pertussis campaign. I am an unpaid spokesperson and am only compensated travel expenses where applicable for my involvement with this important cause. Join our fight against this deadly communicable disease at www.soundsofpertussis.com or like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/soundsofpertussis.

This morning, as we drove the boys to school, Richie in the back seat right along with the rest of the crazies, everyone singing along to The Beatles (my absolute favorite band), reading family scriptures, having family prayer, and then shouting our “I love you’s” back and forth as the boys piled out of the van and bounced joyfully into the world. . . I was filled to overflowing with gratitude and joy.

We’ve worked so hard, Richie and I, to set up our lives intentionally. Early in our marriage, we sat down together and decided upon staunch priorities surrounding what we wanted our life together to look and feel like. (NOTE: It’s no surprise that the majority of those goals centered around the kind of life we hoped to be able to provide for our children). I’m so happy to report (to myself more than anyone else) that despite pitfalls, roadblocks, discouragement, and outright failures (yes, plural), we’ve remained committed to the things we deemed (together) to matter the very most. Case in point the ability to drive the boys to school—together—in the mornings, and the luxury of picking them up—together—in the afternoons. This is a small example of a bigger picture reality we have worked so hard to achieve.

Not to say that we’ve got it all perfect. We still have SO (so so so so so SO) far to go, but we’re on the right path—the pathway toward our intentional life, and it is so absolutely energizing and fulfilling that my heart nearly bursts with joy just thinking about it.

Intentional living will look different for everyone, but friends, do the work to get clear (about what you want your life to look like) and then get busy (creating the life of your dreams). You CAN do it, and you’ll be so glad you did!

Allow me to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Ms Karen Lamb: ”A year from now, you’ll wish you started today.”

Christy Tyler:
Thanks to your wisdom and inspiration - I'm happy to report (mostly to myself as well) that I feel like a completely different person than I was in February when I met you both - because you showed me that how I live/lead my life is MY CHOICE. I realized I needed to make some giant changes so I wasn't letting life fly by without having each day look how I intended for it to look! Of course I have good days & bad days - the main point is I'm TRYING and my husband & I are better off for that! Thank you for being such an inspiration! XOXO October 18, 2013 12:32 pm

Joanna:
That last line, the quote - that's the most motivating thing I've read in a long time. Thank you!! October 18, 2013 1:36 pm

Susan:
This is just what I needed to read today. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, you really helped me out. :-) October 18, 2013 4:52 pm

Diane:
Hadley truly is loved by so many! These pictures capture the joy in this sweet family. You are a wonderful photographer! September 23, 2013 8:14 am

Kate S.:
So privileged to know and adore this sweet babe. Love these photos. September 23, 2013 8:23 am

Philippe Dame:
Great shots. I love the lightness of the image and glow of the baby's skin (so crisp). Do you get that all in-camera or some extra processing in post? Well done again. September 24, 2013 11:16 am

natalie:
Diane, Aren't we lucky to have Haddie in our lives??! I am so thankful that you raised such a fabulous son to marry that wonderful Chelsea! We are so so blessed by them both! Love you, lady! Natalie October 2, 2013 9:11 am

natalie:
Phillippe: I do my best to get it right in camera, however shooting raw, I do some processing as well. . . particularly to correct skin tones. Levels and curves mostly, and these images were processed using the VSCO Film Pack in lighroom 2. Hope that helps! Aloha! Natalie October 2, 2013 9:14 am

Good morning. Good night.

But before he can find a way to further articulate his horror, we both burst into side-splitting laughter.

“This is what I need him for,” I think, as I look down and realize that I’m still in my pajamas at 7:30. . . PM.

There is a pile of wrappers that used to contain the canister full of dinner mints that have sustained me all day long.

This was . . . a day. Ya know? And if I’m being totally honest, I’ll say that I have a lot of days like this. I’m not the mom who wakes up and has her make-up on before she gets the kids out of bed in the morning. I’ll never be that mom. I wish I were that mom. But guess what? Reality: I’m lucky if I get my make up on before our semi-annual family photo session, forget the drop off line at school. And that’s ok with me. (Sort of. . . . Well, most of the time. OK. A good percentage of the time. Like say, 35%.)

On days when I’m feeling particularly spread thin and frazzled, I remind myself that I’m a part of something. Something that matters. In fact, I’m a part of a lot of somethings that matter, and I get to live them out every day, with my entire soul. That means something to me. It really does. So yes, I’m still in the stars and stripes that I put on at 10:30pm . . . yesterday. And no, I’m not ashamed (I’m a little ashamed) to be admitting that out loud. (Actually, you know what? I did it on purpose. It makes going to bed again a cinch.)

______________________________

Dear, sweet, strong, brave, bat-freaking-crazy, zombie face Natalie,

Every day, as you break up fist fights between your children, stop and look at them (but not for too long, or there will be blood). Stop and really look at them, and remember that they are yours. You made them. And you get to keep them, forever. That’s a something to be proud of.

As you look at the pile of dishes that is stinking up not only the kitchen but is sneaking it’s way into your living space as well, remember, you survived on dinner mints today because you wanted to, not because you didn’t have enough food to eat. You have a kitchen full of dishes and a pantry full of food to put on them. Why you chose to subsist on dinner mints is a mystery of the free world. But every girl needs to keep a little mystery in her life. So, good on ya! This is all a something to feel very grateful for.

When your husband tells you you look like the walking dead, wrap your arms tight around his neck, because if it weren’t for him, you would drive yourself right into the ground with how hard you work every day, and you know it. His love and hilarity are the solitary reasons you stay sane and keep your head square upon your shoulders. That is a something to cry tears of joy about.

When you are starting to doubt the wisdom of your 3 month long email strike as you see unanswered messages spilling out the front door and onto the neighbor’s lawn, remember— each one of those emails (except the stupid ones from Living Social and K-Mart) represents one of God’s children that you get the absolute honor of loving on for a few measly minutes of your big bad day. That is a something you need to appreciate as a gift. That is a something you need to remember to love.

When you are losing your mind trying to coordinate all the logistics of your crazy-beautiful life, just look around at all the SPECTACULAR people who are constantly rising up to help, to encourage, to support and to sustain your efforts. YOUR life is FILLED TO OVERFLOWING with not only somethings but someones who love you fiercely. . .far more than you deserve.

At the end of a long day of hustling like your life depended on it, when your 10 year old asks you to come and not only listen to him practice his drums, but sing vocals for him as well (WHAT?!), remember, migraines.are.awesome. (That’s not a something. It’s just torture, by the way. But it is evidence of a life full of love and belonging. . . and THAT is a something you could never live without.)

And when you didn’t get dinner on the table, and your house is nearing disaster status, and your laundry is taking over the bathroom, and said bathroom smells like number one, and you are exhausted on a cellular level, and despite going a million miles an hour—all.day.long—you really aren’t sure what you even accomplished . . . remember, you have opposable thumbs, and that is neat.

Hang in there, sister. Your life is beautiful.

xo,

Self

PS Want to join me in an upcoming something that I’m incredibly proud to be a part of? Come see me and two of my most treasured and respected friends (Tamara Lackey and Jen Bebb) in Brooklyn, Nashville or LA for a day of encouragement, straight talk and practical, sustainable application that is sure to get you from where you are now (10:45pm in yesterday’s pajamas?), to where you truly want to be (10:45 pm in yesterday’s pajamas, but eating ice cream too??).

Kate:
This isn't the writing of someone who is rusty, but rather someone who has let her talents in this area rest (even if no other part of her life has, ha ha). You are real and willing to share that with the world - something I am grateful for! P.S. you may have looked like the walking dead, but I bet you breath smelled great after all those mints. September 13, 2013 3:23 am

Nicole:
I am going to print this out and put it on my bathroom mirror... Or maybe the wall in the kitchen because my face doesn't see the bathroom mirror some days... After yesterday's DAY, I needed this. Especially the bit about our thumbs. Some days that is about all the positivity I can muster! Thanks momma! September 13, 2013 7:09 am

Kate S.:
Thank you for being here! Wish I were in one of those towns. September 13, 2013 8:23 am

Christy Tyler:
You are rolling back into this like not a beat was missed! I love that you write like you talk. ;) Also I'm trying to remember all the very same things you listed (minus the kiddos part, obviously), but doing my best to count my blessings among the crazy busy-ness. :) September 13, 2013 8:27 am

Shannon:
Loved this especially since I know there is one more person out there that has days of pajama pants and dinner mints :) September 13, 2013 9:00 am

natalie:
Shannon! You are in good company! There are at LEAST 3 or 4 of us! xoxo :) September 13, 2013 9:53 am

natalie:
Christy! YES! One of my favorite hymns says "when upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, do not be discouraged thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings, name them one by one. And it will surprise you what the lord has done!" xoxoxox! September 13, 2013 9:54 am

Dad:
Mom said reading your post would help me not feel so overwhelmed. She was right you win. Remember what George Bernard Shaw said "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live." I hate that quote now and what's worse I said it was true and I loved it. (it is and I do) but more often than not even a my age (62) my days are still painful and out of control in spite of all my experience. SO bad news sis. get used to it. Life uses us up till we die. And I love it. (don't tell mom) September 13, 2013 9:56 am

natalie:
Heidi! Thank you! It feels so good to be back! September 13, 2013 11:20 am

Erin Oveis Brant:
Oh my GOD this is my life! I want to drive to LA just to hug you and thank you for making me feel less...something. Alone? Crazy? Something. If I could hug this post, I would hug this post. You are awesome. Thank you! September 13, 2013 1:29 pm

Emily:
I love, love, love your perspective on emails. I often don't email people that I admire or respect because I know they are busy and I don't want to overflow their inbox any more. It is really refreshing to hear that while overwhelming, you still understand that each of those emails (aside from KMart of course) is a real, live person. Thanks for that, Natalie.
And also, your patriotic pajamas rock my socks. September 14, 2013 6:44 am

mer:
welcome back to this space friend... i have missed your beautiful words so. i'm incredibly thankful for your sweet spirit and this spot where i can enjoy a bit of you whenever i want. your life is beautiful. love you! September 14, 2013 7:01 am

natalie:
Emily, I'll be honest, it's a hard perspective to keep sometimes! But I remember reaching out to people in the early days and despite my cognitive awareness that they were swamped, there was still a touch of hurt in my heart when I didn't get a response. I know it's not humanly possible for me to respond to every email that comes my way, but I do my very best. It helps when I remember that nothing is more important to me than the way I make people feel about themselves. How can we more fully share the love of God than helping people know that they MATTER?? xxoo! Natalie September 16, 2013 10:02 am

When you really love something, when you really, truly, madly, deeply, passionately LOVE something, it’s always shocking to wake up one morning and realize how long that thing has been gone from your life—how far away it feels—how foreign—how . . . irretrievable. When you finally find the courage and resolve to go after what you’ve lost, when you finally realize that life without it is worse than the horrifying reality of what will be required to get it back, there’s a part of you that believes that once you “jump back in,” you’ll be simply overwhelmed by the utter rightness of it all. “I’m home!” your spirit will cry!

Here’s the truth that I have found: It will hurt, this process of righting wrongs, of chasing our bliss, of restoring what was lost, of building what we hope has the potential to be. Once you’re in the thick of all the searching, it will be hard, and it will hurt. You’ll feel clumsy and unsteady, insignificant and small, and the journey will feel very, very long and unyielding. To paraphrase Robert Frost—the woods will seem dark and deep and there will be miles and miles (and miles) to go before you’ll sleep.

But where there is love, there is light. And light, my friends, is ALWAYS worth fighting for. Once you get back in the ring, the entire universe will begin to conspire together for your good—in absolutely miraculous ways. And out of nowhere, you’ll start receiving signs. Trust them. These signs will validate the stirring in your heart, and they will give every ounce of the courage you need. My sign was delivered to me by a stranger. In the exact moment my heart needed it the most:

“Please come back to the web. If only you knew all the people that you were encouraging, lives you were touching, the way that God uses your pain to shape others lives, to comfort those who feel the same. I know you will probably never know the depths of the way that God is using you, your story, your writing, your talents, your gifts, your trials, your sufferings….but I do hope and pray that you come back and process more with us. There needs to be more hope and truth out here on the internet….and more voices like yours. Thank you for all you have done here…you are a gift and a blessing and a teacher and a mentor and even in a way, a friend. Thank you.”

I’ll be back to writing (blogging) tomorrow (well, and today, as it would seem).

~C:
I couldn't agree more with the stranger who wrote you. My little sister just lost her baby girl at 23 weeks, and I have been sending her links to your amazing posts, in hopes that they will help heal her broken heart. Love your writing, you are amazing! September 10, 2013 1:45 pm

Aussie Sarah:
I need you Nat and am so pleased. thank you xxx September 10, 2013 2:14 pm

alisha:
You. Are an angel. I am so happy you are back. xoxo September 10, 2013 2:38 pm

shari:
every time I'd think, "Man, I wish Natalie would blog again...I miss her writing...I miss FEELING deep things when I read her writing..." I'd stop myself and think, "wait, that's pretty selfish. she's busy. she's got a LIFE she's living...if she doesn't want to blog, or have time to blog, that's OK..." but selfishly I'd still yearn for your blogs anyway. hey sister, you've got a gift. and I 1000% agree with the message from the stranger. my life has without a doubt been changed because of what you've chosen to share here on your bloggy blog. and i'm gonna be selfish. but at the same time, hoping that it helps you find happiness and joy as well :) xoxo from HB September 10, 2013 2:58 pm

natalie:
Sheri, You always have such a way of making people feel like they matter. It is one of your most godly attributes. I want to be more like you, my friend. Thank you so much for your constant and unyielding support. xx N September 10, 2013 9:22 pm

natalie:
Aussie Sarah, I need you too. We all need each other, don't we? I wish we'd all be better about admitting that and reaching out in more genuine ways! I think the world would be such a different place if we all were simply willing to admit how much we need each other! September 10, 2013 9:24 pm

natalie:
Chelsea, What a WONDERFUL thing to say. Thank you. It means so much to hear you say that. September 10, 2013 9:24 pm

Christy Tyler:
Glad to see you back here friend. :) xoxo September 10, 2013 10:33 pm

Alison:
Natalie, I saw your post pop up on my FB feed and for a second I thought "who"? And then I realized how much I missed your words and your positivity and images and I was so glad you gave me a reason to remember you. Welcome back. September 11, 2013 3:16 am

Claire Atherfold:
I totally agree! We've missed you :) You are such an inspiration to so many and I am so thankful your spirit and courage was called back :) September 11, 2013 6:45 am

Tom Barrett:
Dear Natalie,
Thank you so very much for sharing this! I have been down in the dumps for such an extended period of time, but this raised my spirit. I thank you for that!
I fully agree with all you have said. Please continue to share with everyone, as that is the true way of Nature and of Nature's God!
God Bless,
Tom September 11, 2013 7:45 am

Making Peace, That is Our Work. | EMMA LOU:
[...] day. But, I can’t, it’s not like me to not acknowledge days like today. After reading Natalie’s post about how important it is to write, how much it helps all of us, I decided that today was the day I [...] September 11, 2013 9:22 am

kimberly oyler:
i've missed you so much!!! so glad you are back!!! (and you should know that i don't use exclamation points very often.) September 11, 2013 3:13 pm

Jennifer:
yay! You have been such an inspiration to me. I know it's not always easy to put yourself out there, but please know that we're all struggling right alongside you with our own struggles, and fears, and vulnerabilities - and sharing it makes us all stronger in our search and journey towards the light(s) in our lives. I'm looking forward to reading more from you :) September 11, 2013 5:34 pm

Christie:
Hello, thank you. I'm very happy to hear this. You will always be that fresh air my heart needs when it feels heavy. My oldest daughter started school this week, its something i've never done - let someone else care of her, It hurts because i love her so much, but i know we will learn together. She will love me more for letting her grow! Welcome back, missed you! XO! September 11, 2013 8:08 pm

Kate S.:
So grateful for the stranger that sent you that, because you are a huge inspiration to me and I want to keep myself surrounded by inspiration! September 12, 2013 12:52 pm

natalie:
Kate! I want to keep myself surrounded by inspiration, too! I love this reminder! I'm going to be more eager to seek out inspiration moving forward! xoxo! September 12, 2013 9:46 pm

natalie:
AHHHHH! Christie! First day of school is sooooo hard! Especially the FIRST first day of school! I feel for you!!!!!!! But you will see her learn and grow in such astonishing ways! Hang in there, woman! xoxo September 12, 2013 9:47 pm

natalie:
Jennifer, AMEN. I really don't know what more to say than that. Just the most heartfelt AMEN there ever was!!! xoxoxoxox! N September 12, 2013 9:47 pm

natalie:
Kimberly! I use exclamation points all the time!!! But they are ALWAYS warranted, so it's ok!!! THANK YOU! Your comment made my day!!!!! !!!!! !!!!! xoxoxo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! September 12, 2013 9:48 pm

natalie:
Tom, THANK YOU. It's such a beautiful reminder that we should embrace what is in our nature. . . Sometimes I forget that and feel small or unworthy. But why would I feel unworthy of what is naturally inside of me? God has given me a voice. I should use it with love, humility and joy. September 12, 2013 9:55 pm

natalie:
Alison, This comment was very touching and a good reminder of the way we can reach out and bless one another's lives. . . just by doing what we do. . . Thank you. A stranger got me writing again, and I think you, another stranger, have served to help keep me writing. . . lots of love to you. September 12, 2013 9:57 pm

Silke/Germany:
Thanks to this stranger, it could have been me. I missed you too and thought if she hasn't posted today I'd e-mail her :) I don't usually intrude on people's silence. Great to see you back and posting xx September 19, 2013 7:05 am

America:
I am so glad you're back! I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you for putting yourself out there in such an honest and vulnerable way. I too have missed your posts! September 19, 2013 11:17 am

natalie:
I love you, sweetest Siike!!!!! I WILL come to Germany and officially meet you one day! September 20, 2013 2:22 pm

natalie:
America, You made my day a little brighter. Thank you! September 20, 2013 2:24 pm

We want to rejoice, we want to be merry and bright. Yet we find ourselves facing a largely unfamiliar solemnity, a collective ache, an inescapable undercurrent of pain. . .

Because their stockings are still hung by the chimney with care.

Because their gifts still lay wrapped tenderly beneath the tree.

And there will be no eager footsteps in their hallways come Christmas morning. . .

_______________

Felix’s brave momma, Jenna, elected to give birth to him at home. . . with the help of only a midwife and a few trusted friends. (Her husband, Brian, was away on deployment and took part in the experience via Skype.) When I arrived at the home where Jenna was preparing to welcome her son into the world, it was the middle of the night. The stars burned bright in the Scottsdale sky (I mention it only because it was the kind of sky you never forget your entire life through). The lights inside were dim, and there was a tangible tenderness in the air. A room full of women. . . Jenna in the middle. . . slowly, confidently breathing her way through the excruciating pain. As the night wore on, and Jenna’s pain increased, there were moments when it was nearly unbearable to watch. Tears spilled from my eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her. I would have done anything to help bear her pain, and I know my feelings were shared by every other woman in the room that night.

And things went on this way.

For hours.

The intensity of pain Jenna was experiencing lasted all through the night and well into the afternoon of the next day. All the while, there was nothing any of us could do—except for love, encourage, support and stay by her side. All we could do was make certain she knew we loved her and that we weren’t going anywhere.

After Felix was finally placed into his mother’s eager arms, I listened to her genuinely and adoringly thank every woman for their presence through her pain. I listened as she told every one of us, individually, that she couldn’t have survived without us. We had done nothing to ease her pain. Nothing. She brought that baby into the world on her own. She suffered through every breath of anguish. And yet, somehow, our love, our simple presence had made a real difference for her. Jenna’s gratitude was unforgettable, unbelievable and extraordinarily sincere.

So, where do we go from here?

There are so many in this world who are writhing in emotional pain, laboring through overwhelming fear, sorrow, horror . . . and loneliness that cannot be described. For many, and certainly those of Newtown, CT, Hell is a matter of every day life.

Where DO we go from here? I’m afraid I don’t have a perfect answer. I can only explore the question right along with every other member of the human family. . . But I imagine the answer lies somewhere near the region of LOVE. A love that is more complete, more open, more unconditional—a love that is not bound by pretext or restraint.

We need to be kinder with one another, more gentle and forgiving. We need to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. In short, we need to love one another with the pure love of Christ, with genuine charity and compassion and, if necessary, shared suffering, for that is the way God loves us…. We need to walk more resolutely and more charitably the path that Jesus has shown. We need to ‘pause to help and lift another’ and surely we will find ‘strength beyond [our] own.’ If we would do more to learn ‘the healer’s art,’ there would be untold chances to use it, to touch the ‘wounded and the weary’ and show to all ‘a gentle[r] heart —Howard W. Hunter

May we come together, as members of the human family, irrespective of race, political affiliation or creed, and let each other know that we are here for one another in complete charity (love) —and we aren’t going anywhere.

natalie:
Kimberly, thank you so much. It's such a tender subject and a very hard one to handle with care. . . I appreciate your kind words. xo. December 22, 2012 11:16 pm

Alie:
i needed this tonight. thank you for your words. December 22, 2012 11:28 pm

natalie:
Allie, I just hopped over to our blog. I'm so sorry for your loss. Amelia is beautiful. I'll be thinking of you this Christmas. xoxoxoxo December 23, 2012 12:01 am

kelly:
what a blessing it must have been for you to share that experience. thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing it with us. December 23, 2012 4:13 pm

Janet:
Today in Church we sang the carol, "Away In a Manger." We sang the 3rd verse, "Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay Close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, And fit us for heaven to live with thee there." I thought of all those dear children who returned to Him this year, and in years past, and felt immediate assurance that He can "fit us" so we can live with Him and them again. Such is Hope. December 23, 2012 4:34 pm

Shari:
lovely, sweet tender words. thank you for putting it so beautifully and connecting it to your experience with the birth of baby Felix... it was so right. i always feel enlightened reading your words...you speak to my heart. love you dear friend! was thinking of you over christmas, and praying for your heart to be full as you celebrated with your family and one more christmas passed without your sweet Gavin(s) -- one more christmas closer to being with them again. XOXO from HB ALWAYS December 28, 2012 6:17 pm

Kate:
Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. Sometimes just being there is enough. Thanks for the reminder. December 30, 2012 11:54 am

natalie:
Janet, Yes, such is hope. You know, once, when I was in college, I became very interested in the word "hope"—the depth of it's meaning (including origin etc). In the end, I found that the most accurate definition was "to expect with confidence." How's that for beautiful? January 4, 2013 6:04 pm

natalie:
Kelly, It was such a sacred experience to be there. . . it's an interesting "correlation" between Felix's birth and moving forward from Sandy Hook. . . but every time I thought about it, it was the ONLY way I could help myself know how to move forward. . . we're all desperate to DO something. . . anything. I really believe the most profound thing we can do is "be there." I really and truly do. . . January 4, 2013 6:05 pm

Jamie:
Natalie, I found your blog because so many friends had been tagging #gisforgavin on instagram and so I was curious. I read a little bit about the background of your blog and suddenly, I feel very... ungrateful. I lost my sister in 2010 to an asthma attack, while I was pregnant with my first child, my daughter, Claire. I absolutely cannot imagine losing my sister AND my baby, all within a relatively short amount of time. I find that I still find it difficult to even live my life normally because I miss her so much. I am actually afraid to have any more children because I almost lost Claire (she had amniotic fluid in her lungs and stopped breathing right when she was born). I simply don't get how people can find so much joy and beauty in the world when their heart hurts so much. I guess if you, who has been through more, can do it, then I can certainly try. Thank you for inspiring me. I guess bad things happen no matter what, and just because you have something awful happen doesn't make you immune for a while (though I tend to think that surely God wouldn't allow more heartache on top of what I already have, but that is proven untrue). You are a great example of the triumph of human spirit. Thank you. January 8, 2013 4:11 pm

natalie:
Jamie, Thank you for this heartfelt comment. I sincerely understand the feelings you are describing. I think anyone who has experienced significant loss has gone through similar mental and emotional processes. I sure have. It's hard to admit, but there have been times (more than I would like to mention) where I have felt pity for myself—all out, down right, sorry for myself. . . and you know, I've come to realize that it's OK to feel that way from time to time, and I try not to judge myself when those emotions do inevitably arise. They're only natural. The trick is not allowing yourself to get stuck there, right? (Easier said than done, I get that.) I'm so sorry about your sister. With all my heart, I'm sorry. I want you to know, that I KNOW that you will pull through this in a way that is joyous and that you can and will live a happy, full life, despite the pain. It just takes (a lot) of time and (a lot) of patience with yourself, God and the process of grief. Gratitude is good. It really does help us to heal, but we still have to walk the path of grief. . . and we can't beat ourselves up about it. Thank you again for this loving comment. It got me thinking, and I definitely learned a thing or two myself. . . Every single drop of my love to you, beautiful girl. xx, N January 22, 2013 10:51 am

Short medium hairstyles:
Beautiful and cute images of baby.Looks so handsome and adorable .I like this post so much . February 15, 2013 11:26 pm

Julee George:
I have missed you! And adventures of your beautiful family! I sincerely hope that this hiatus from social media means you are doing well and has been good for your soul. But if not, I mourn with you.
You are beautiful. The world is beautiful. God is good; all of the time! February 28, 2013 7:55 am

Rebecca H:
We miss you. Hope all is going well. Please come back home soon! March 16, 2013 3:59 pm