As the mother of a son who recently graduated from college, I know how difficult it can be to discuss dating and healthy relationships with a teenager. As a longtime advocate against domestic violence, I also know how important it is for parents to have these conversations with their children starting at an early age.

There is a myth in our society shared by many adults that teens do not experience dating violence or, if they do, the violence isn’t very severe. This may be one reason why nearly three in four parents have never talked to their children about domestic violence. The reality of teen dating violence, however, is that one in three high school students will be involved in a physically or sexually abusive dating relationship, and 51 percent of young women aged 15 to 22 know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.

Teen dating violence is defined as a pattern of abuse against a teenaged dating partner, which includes verbal, emotional, physical, sexual and digital abuse. Teen dating violence can occur in any neighborhood, income level or ethnic group, but young women aged 18 to 24 experience the highest per-capita rate of intimate partner violence in our country, almost double the national average.

Teens may not recognize abuse when it happens. They may not have access to information about the warning signs of an abusive relationship. New technologies such as texting, instant messaging and social media may be tools used to harass and stalk a dating partner. The ineffective responses of parents and other adults can be a key factor. Parents and other adults are in a position to make a big difference in the lives of teenagers. We need to be brave enough to initiate those hard discussions.

Teens often don’t know where or how to get help if they are having problems in their relationships. They may not know how to end a relationship or what services are available to them in the community. Teens may not want to talk to adults about the abuse in their relationships because they are embarrassed or afraid of how their parents will react. They may not trust the adults around them to keep information about their relationships private.

These barriers can be overcome by talking to the teens in your life. Young adults can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They also can call loveisrespect at 1-866-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522 to connect with a trained peer advocate. Parents and teens also can visit www.loveisrespect.org.

Teen dating violence is a complex issue with no simple solutions, but as parents, we all have a role to play in ending it.

Elizabeth Stoffel, JD, is the senior program manager for the Reno-based National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges.