Fill the quiche and stick it into the oven. Now prepare the custard to cover it. Heat 1 container of soured cream (150ml) mixed with 3 eggs (and some freshly ground black pepper, maybe some mustard powder, salt and anything else handy), but do not let it boil. Remove pie dish from oven and pour custard over filling (it's not the end of the world if the custard is higher than the rim of the dough on the sides of the dish; it always happens to me). Bake for 40 minutes. If too much liquid is retained, transfer to a microwave oven and heat for a few minutes, or simply pour off excess liquid and return to oven.

Quiche seemed a retro food to me, for I hadn't made it in years, but I did one recently and it was delicious. Never mind all that stuff about real men not eating quiche; we're all secure in our sexuality here, and keen for a good meal. So here's how to make one:

First, the pie crust. Don't buy a frozen one: they look and taste like cardboard. Make one yourself. It's not hard, you'll feel strangely humble but proud, and it'll be delicious. The pie crust needs to sit in the fridge for an hour before rolling out, so prepare your filling while it's chilling.

Custard: combine eggs and cream. Add salt and pepper if desired, or any other herb or spice. A little freshly grated nutmeg is nice.

Broccoli: chop into bite-sized pieces and blanch, that is: bring a pot of water to a full boil, drop in broccoli pieces, and cook for about 30 seconds. Drain and run under cold water to stop further cooking. The technique for any hard vegetable.

When you've got the dough rolled out and in the pie plate, sprinkle the cheese across the bottom of the pie crust. Top with sauteed veggies and bacon bits, and artfully arrange the broccoli or whatever you have. Pour the custard over it all, trying to completely cover your fillings, pop in a 375°F (190°C) oven, and bake for 25-35 minutes, till filling is browned and set (jiggles only slightly when you shake the pan). Remove from oven, let sit for 5 minutes, and consume. Fantastic paired with a fresh green salad and a nice bottle of Chardonnay. It's also good cold, so look forward to leftovers!