Search Term Roulette: Winter Edition

It’s December, so you all know what that means. It’s time for the traditional, quarterly search term roulette. I collect all sorts of wacky search terms that land people on my blog. Then I share them with you, for no other reason than to mock people. I have a dark soul and zero shame.

1. TV is zombies

That is a pretty shrewd observation. Most TVs are just waiting for you to drop your guard so they can drink your blood and remain immortal. No, wait, that makes them vampires. Did you say “zombies”? Don’t be ridiculous!

So…is this a fetish thing? I’m not judging. All those bristles, gently touching the enamel, making it cleaner and cleaner…yeah OK, I don’t get it.

5. Why do men take women’s glasses off?

This is a natural reflex leftover from the old days—back when men used this trick to disorient women and escape their rampage by hiding inside makeshift nests. I’m not too big on history, but I’m pretty sure that’s accurate.

That jerk! What next?! Is he going to put on a cap to shield his head from the sun, or something? Men these days have no respect.

8. Aaaaah

Yeah, the blog often gets this reaction from people. I’m working on it.

9. Sex+for+man+with+glasses

Logic+error+impossible+concept+try+again

10. Penis shaped submarines

When the world’s navies troll each other, it’s the tax payers that pay the price.

11. Stupid things for kids to do with a treadmill

At least seven of those can be discovered by simply bringing a few kids into a gym.

12. Is someone post RIP on Facebook should I sorry for you lost?

With that grammar not probably is more best.

13. Dog expressed on me

I don’t think you know how words work.

14. Best reply when a girl replies hehe

Take off her glasses, then put on your sunglasses. No words necessary.

15. Why actresses love young boys?

They need the boys’ innocent souls to feed their own relentless hunger for money and fame. If only you consulted authoritative news sources like the Daily Mail and Fox News, you wouldn’t ask such uninformed questions.

16. Thanks to tell if it’s our baby doll is haunted

Goodbye to you and sorry for you lost.

17. Lawyer in clothes

I like how you felt the need to specify the “in clothes” part of that search. I shudder at the thought of what you’ve come across before using that search phrase.

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17 thoughts on “Search Term Roulette: Winter Edition”

I’m having word search envy!
Jeff walked into a glass door just last week. I wished I had filmed it because it was funny. I tried not to laugh though since it was highly embarrassing for him… but I laughed inwardly. The glass was fine, Jeff might have suffered a mild concussion.

What a great answer… now I’m curious… these poor souls ended up on your blog after typing this in to Google search? REALLY? Are they pleased they landed on your blog? Did they subscribe and follow you as a result? Which post is Google sending these people to? Where do they go to school so that we can slap their English teacher for passing these fools.

What is it with hairspray and glasses? Those seem to come up in search terms a lot for your blog. You should do a word cloud. Would be interesting to see which words you use the most. They’d probably be naughty ones…