15.8.14

Before we begin, allow me to tell you a little about me and why I had picked these films to review for "The Seven Levels of Netflix Hell". The four films I will begin with are; Bloody Birthday, Mountaintop Hotel Massacre, The Keep and New Year’s Evil.

They are horror films are mostly not well known. The reason is because they are not that great. So why review them? Well the reason is I enjoy crappy horror films from the late 70’s, all of the 80’s and early 90’s. They are bad, yes, but mostly some are pretty funny. My favorite type is a good 80’s horror film that is so bad I laugh more then I should. To me this is special. Something a lot of people don’t really go looking for. So hopefully theses reviews can earn some fans of some crappy horror films that are only enjoyable because of the laughs they create. I haven’t yet seen these films so they could really stink, or we might find a few golden gems, but more importantly we could get the word out for this dear to my heart film genre. So let’s begin.

A film with a title like "New Year's Evil" is right off the bat, pretty cheesy. But so is the rest of the film.

She looks naughty to me.

New Year’s Evil is about a famous rock icon, Diane Sullivan who is holding a countdown celebration for the New Year. Think of an early 80’s MTV type of show, where DJ’s and kids get together to rock the New Year! But during the start they hold a segment for phone calls. One voice is very strange. In fact when you hear it, I’m going to bet you'll fall to the floor holding your sides. It’s so bad, even at this time I’m surprise no one thought to try a different voice. The voice alone trumps anything else that is being taking serious in this film. For me the film falls far from being a horror film at this point. He tells her (Diane) that when each time zone strikes midnight, he will kill a “Naughty Girl”. In his thought processes this is punishment, which leads to Diane being the last naughty girl on his list.

What makes this film funny is the killer. He is so goofy and odd that the whole thing becomes a joke, fast. Another issue with this film is the killer is shown to you right away. Toward the end of the film the killer is revealed to be someone close to Diane. But we already know who this is because we saw his face and we know everything about him before the characters in the film even explain it to us. Of course this is just lazy writing. Throwing things together as they developed the story. There are no surprises, which would have helped this film so much.

Bob Hope on a bender.

Kip Nivin, the actor who plays the killer, does a good job. He comes off creepy and that’s good. But with lazy writing the actor only has so much to work with, which is what gives us the most laughs. The way he goes about the killing, and the killings themselves, are funny. Especially the last one with Diane. To describe this the best way I can, he goes about it like Mouse Trap (the board game). He sets up something that is so crazy, it made watching this entire film so worth it. It’s something you have to see for yourself. He has so many chances to kill her but doesn't. Like a classic Bond villain, he stretches it out beyond what anyone could imagine. It’s so complex it boggles my mind. Nothing is simple about the way this guy just kills people.

So is it bad film? Yes, it's very bad. But if you want to watch an "it's so bad it's good" horror film, then add this to your Netflix Queue!

UPDATE!New Year’s Evil the Bluray has just been announced at Comic Con 2014! Why this needs to be on Bluray is beyond me, but it's cool to hear nonetheless!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But sometimes a motion picture is only worth one. Simplistic Reviews gives you a minimum one word review from avid film buffs Justin Polizzi, Matthew Stewart and DJ Valentine. If one isn't enough, you can read on and enjoy their further analysis of the film or television show. Simplistic Reviews is, for lack of a better word, GOOD.