Don’t Let the Pezzonovante Feed Your Children

What would Vito Corleone say about our current crisis of childhood obesity?

Well, first imagine the voice of the great Marlon Brando. Husky, smoky, the room is dark. A few advisers like Tom Hagan lurk in the corners.

A man, Vincenzo, comes to visit him on Don Vito’s daughter’s wedding day. He plans to ask for a favor. Because the Godfather cannot refuse a favor on his daughter’s wedding day.

Vincenzo says, “Godfather, my son, my daughter, they are, as you have seen, incredibly fat. Godfather, I don’t know what to do. My son, my only son, he looks like he may not live to be 30. And I need him. I love him, Godfather.”

“Yes, Vincenzo, your children – they are a disgrace.” says the Godfather.

“And Godfather, my beautiful daughter, what is she to become – who will marry her? She eats me out of house and home, and she eats even more at the school. It is their fault. They feed the children crap all day at school, Godfather. I have no control.”

The Godfather pauses. “Vincenzo, you come here to tell me you have no control. You come here to tell me that you let the Pezzonovante feed your children. Vincenzo, what is it that you want me to do?”

“Well, Godfather, you could make changes at the school. You could use your power and influence.”

“Vincenzo, I could have a word with some people. But these types of arrangements, these types of conversations, these will take a little time. And they are not… well… normally the things we do. Do you not try to influence them? I don’t suppose you do, Vincenzo.”

Long pause. The Godfather looks at Vincenzo with pity.

“For now, you and your wife are going to have to be strict. Use your head. And Vincenzo, don’t rely on the Pezzonovante in important matters. Don’t rely on them to help you out, to be responsible for something as important as your children. My God, Vincenzo has history taught you nothing?”