Don't Be a Stranger

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

For years, Packrat has been telling me that I need to find myself a hobby. This came about because I would pout and sulk when he wanted to game, claiming that I was being 'widowed' by his love for computer games and other real life games that involved the throwing of dice that had up to 100 sides.

It wasn't that I was bored or needed to be entertained. There is often more than enough on my plate to handle. But all these things I handle on a daily basis are my responsibilities that stem from being a mother, a wife, an employer, keeper of my house and an employee. Often at the end of the day, I am breathless from the effort but these are all things that have to be done to ensure the house does not fall down and there is food on the table and the children are cared for.

I have no resentment against any of those responsibilities. Sometimes I hate them, am exhausted and frustrated at them and want to run away. But I accept them. A counsellor once asked me, when I listed down all the things that I did in a day, when did I do anything for myself? That gave me reason to pause. I do get me time. Once a month, I give myself two hours where my face is poked and cleaned and I sink into a deep sleep. It is more than a lot of other moms I know get and I know I ought to be grateful.

But at the end of the day, I still didn't have a hobby or an interest that I could call my own. For me. Not for the benefit of the kids. Not for the benefit of my marriage. And not for the financial necessity of the household. In the last month, I discovered what I wanted to do. Just for myself. Something that I would enjoy. Something frivolous.

I decided to set up a tiny little blog shop. I know many uni students and moms have done it before me. I don't think my catchment would be very big. But whatever it is, it's a little bit of me. And it's something I am doing for myself. Learning how to order things, doing market research in its most primitive manner, talking to suppliers, setting up (yet) another blog and Facebook page. And basically getting excited over it. Getting excited over hitting the "BUY" button and refreshing, almost obsessively the tracking page to watch my delivery arrive at my door step.

Even then, the Mommy hasn't totally left me because I decided to bring in kids' stuff. Backpacks and lunch bags specifically. Why bags? Because I know bags. I know cute. I know pretty. I know whimsical. I know pragmatism. And I know moms.

Will it work out? I don't know. Only time will tell. I have sunk a little bit of savings in. Not so much that my children will starve and not be able to go to school. Enough for me to gasp a little bit at my credit card bill. But also to give me a bit of thrill when I see payment being transferred into my account.

Do the kids gain anything from it? Well, each of them got a big thrill out of picking out backpacks for themselves. Muffin picked a Monkey. Jordan picked the Mouse because it was pink. And Evan picked the Bumblebee because he is partial to yellow. Muffin has also learnt how to identify all 11 animals accurately. Apart from that? Not much. And they haven't lost any of me either. To them, life is the same even though Mommy has attempted to become a little business woman.

So what is this hare-brained scheme of mine called? I named it, naturally, after the children. Because I was looking to bring in bags. And because I have 3 highly energetic children who look like they are propelled by jet fuel or sugar whatever their chosen poison is that day, I decided to call the little blog shop JEDPacks! And Evan's Godpa did a swell job creating a little logo based on the 3 of them inspired by Peter Pan and company taking flight with their jet-propelled animal backpacks!

So, if you so choose to, pop over and take a look at what I am up to. JEDPacks is on Facebook as well as blog. And even though I have set up numerous blogs and FB pages, this took quite a bit of time. It was also yet another reminder that I pass mid 30's this year and age is indeed catching up.