#BN2018Epilogues: Hope & Thanksgiving Got Esther Through the Year

Remember when we asked you to send in essays discussing how 2018 was for you? Because, you know, writing can be the best therapy. And sharing your joy and pain and all the emotions you’ve felt through the year can only be a good thing.

Kicking off the year hopeful, Esther hopes to be more intentional in her choices for the coming year.

*** 2017 was probably the most emotionally draining year for me. I got broken in more ways I thought was possible. Being a “strong woman”, 2017 sure took me by surprise. Spending the last night of 2017 in church was honestly more out of ritual as opposed to my love for God. Between the last hours of 2017 to the first few hours of 2018 I felt a surge of hope. It’s safe to say, I walked into 2018 very hopeful. A few days later I walked into a bookstore to purchase a journal which I hoped to record my victories in. I was super hopeful about 2018, I had hopes for the following:

I’m super grateful for 2018. I got a job; I finally relocated to the city of my dreams. I earned a few thousands from writing. I’m getting my own place soon. I know and believe all my wins in 2018, have been nothing but Gods grace. I had my share of epic failures this year. I’m nowhere close to smashing my financial goals, didn’t get into grad school, still as single as I started the year and I lost my Dad.

In all, it was hope and thanksgiving that helped me through.

Losing my dad was probably the most painful experiences of 2018. Getting that call, watching him lowered into the grave. Going home every single time knowing he will never be home is painful. I never dreamed of been fatherless, definitely not at this age. I’m still getting a hang of this new status.

At the later end of this year, I became more intentional about the things I want to achieve. Intentional about my thoughts. Intentional about my actions. After my last self appraisal, I realized I didn’t want to spend 365 days doing nothing. I definitely don’t want to waste time on negative energy. 2018 was good but a little intentional actions would have helped.

Here are a few lessons I learned this year • God ALWAYS shows up for his own • If you believe in the possibility of something, you will find a way around it. You will find help, resources, people and all you need to achieve that goals but it starts from believing its possible • I learnt the importance of taking responsibility, proper planning and discipline.

In 2019, I hope I grow in Grace. I hope experience the fulfilment that comes from fulfilling purpose. I hope I live fearless and unashamed. I hope I experience the joy, peace and glow that comes from loving and being loved right. I hope I get a clear understanding of what I want in my career. I hope I don’t just hit but smash my financial goals.

***

Read up on previous editions of BN 2018 Epilogues here and send in your essays to features(at)bellanaija(dot)com. Let us know all the twists and turns and successes 2018 came with. Send your mail with the title “2018 Epilogues.”