Sounds Iffy: Coffee-Flavored Wine To Hit Shelves Soon

Friends Beverage Group is selling coffee-flavored wine. IN A CAN. They’re offering two different varieties: Cabernet Coffee Espresso and Chardonnay Coffee Cappuccino. Both of which contain no caffeine, little alcohol and low calories. Who the funk cares about calories? Let’s get some G-D caffeine and booze up into this bitch! Otherwise, what’s the point? You’re just gonna be sipping on something that tastes kinda like coffee but contains no caffeine and hardly any dranky drank? Forget it! I’d rather drink hand sanitizer. Sure it doesn’t taste great, but it does the trick. (“The trick” being “wastey face.”)