What you don't want to know about Kimmie ;-)

I'm engaged to the love of my life and we both just happen to be spankos. I met him on Fetlife and have been with him since August 5, 2010. Spankings are a pretty regular thing for me these days! We've made a few videos which are available on Spankingtube. We enjoyed making them and we hope to make more someday! Anyhow, I love being spanked (well, sometimes I don't...depends on why I'm getting spanked)!! I am a Senior Psychology major and plan to get my Master's Degree someday! I also love to write short stories and poetry. Dance in the rain. Listen to music, Play around on the internet, Blog, and most importantly, have fun! kinkylynxproductions@gmail.com

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Art of Dominance

Okay so this is going to be a TOUGH topic for me to blog about. I’ve been a submissive my entire life thus far and I can’t say that I know what it’s like to be Dominant. SO…I’m just going to make some assumptions here.

In a consensual agreement of course, Dom’s take pleasure in taking control of the submissive…and of course submissives take pleasure in being controlled. I would imagine that the most important aspect here is the same as with submissives…TRUST.

I’ve noticed that most Dom’s seem to have this confident “I’m always right” attitude and when their submissive agrees with them in any way, they get this natural high…almost like an ego-trip (as bad as it sounds, hah)…of course, it must be a sincere agreement on the sub’s part. I’ve noticed that most sub’s tend to be very dependent in their lives and dom’s seem to be very independent (not necessarily dominant towards others at all). Me? I’m very dependent but I have the independence in me that just wants to jump out…and I know a spanking relationship will help with that tremendously, but that submissive part of me will ALWAYS be there in that relationship. I thrive on it, it seems.

The greatest feeling may arise from the sub’s feeling at the end of it all…the feeling of absolute relief and forgiveness within herself and possibly the other party. The Dom has to get an amazing feeling from this…to realize that she has just given him her complete trust and obeyed him to the best of her ability and received that release that she so very much needed…because of him. I can’t imagine such a feeling as I’ve obviously never been on that side. All I know is that the hugs and cuddling (even with a very sore bottom) and even tears, I’d imagine, afterwards, is amazing.

I’d like to know what that feels like…not by experiencing it per say but if someone could give me some insight into it that would be great. For instance, in the terms of spanking, whenever the sub is over your lap and she’s gotten to the point to where she can’t help but put her hands back to stop the unforgiving smacks…how do you find that strength in yourself to keep going knowing full and well that you are hurting her so much at that point in time? Or does it even take anything for you to do that…is it easy?

Oh! Also, how do Dom’s manage to learn a sub by their body language? How do you know when to go harder or lighter, or faster or slower? I don’t see how this could be easy at all…but some seem to be so good at it, even the very first time. I can almost always tell what I’m wanting, but let’s face it sometimes we lie with our behavior on the outside…no matter how much we truly want it in our heart. Okay, oftentimes it’s more than that.

Lots of questions and this also seemed to be a very chopped-up and non-artistic entry, I apologize…