Sunday, 11 October 2009

Cunting cunting cunting cunting FUCK!

I woke up, with that horrible feeling you get when you wake up for no apparent reason in the wee, dark hours. Did I hear something? Is there someone in the house?

I lay in bed, listening carefully. No sounds. I began to relax.

BEEP.

WTF?

Silence. Slowly start to rela ... BEEP.

Is the DECT phone not on the charger? Get out of bed, put the light on BEEP. Very disorientated. Take the phone off the charger, just in case. Light off. Back into bed.

BEEP.

Fuck. Light back on, go down to alarm, type in code, maybe there's a short. BEEP. Angry now. Seems to be coming from above me, though. Mmm. Remember that smoke alarm does this when battery is low. Pull battery out of downstairs smoke alarm. Head upstairs. BEEP. Definitely. Pull battery out of upstairs smoke alarm. Turn off all the lights. Check time.

6 comments:

Slotgobs_merkin
said...

You have a smoke alarm?

Softcock.

The only people who perish in house fires are:* single mothers in council flats whose brats play with lighter left by their 'uncles'* residents of parts of NI who have pissed off someone of the other religion* old pissheads who fall asleep with fags in their mouths