M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening” is “a patchy, uninspired eco-thriller whose R rating (a first for Shyamalan) looks more like a B.O. hindrance than an artistic boon,” writes critic Justin Chang in Variety. “After an initial bloom of interest, the Fox release will likely wilt quickly in the summer heat.” Kirk Honeycutt of the Hollywood Reporter opines that “The Happening” feels padded even at 90 minutes. He concludes: “The ecological idea of Planet Earth striking back at humankind might bring a smile to Al Gore, but in terms of cinematic intrigue and nail-biting tension, it’s just not happening.” Fox is trying to enforce a Friday embargo on the non-trade press (even bloggers), but I can report the crowd at the small screening I attended this afternoon tittered and yawned at this yarn about Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel trying to outrun plant-manufactured toxins that induce mass suicides, including one using an industrial lawmower. As one wag put it on the way out, “after seeing this movie, I feel like killing myself!” That probably wouldn’t make M. Night terribly unhappy.