I write about my husband, who also is my Master and about our relationship, in which I am his slavegirl. We practise DD and have learned that it helps us a lot. Apart from that, you'll find my opinions on everything, like sex, sessions, music, people, more on relationships, sorrows, hopes and whatever else I want to write about.
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Monday, November 25, 2013

How do we share emotionally?

before anybody starts getting angry, I don't believe that women love more than men, but I believe often men and women love differently. This is my attempt to organise my own ideas about that topic and I don't want to criticise anybody with it and I apologize if I appear to do so.
Let's start with sex again to serve as an example. Done with the right partner it is all heaven and bliss, but I could not even imagine doing any kind of sexual activities if I was not emotionally involved with a partner, it would spoil the fun in it on the one hand and I would have nothing but a feeling of emptiness in me. I do not even believe that it is possible to have sex and not be emotionally involved. If so, it would be a saddening experience. I know that there are many women who don't have this narrow-minded point of view, and I think this is something that they share with many men who are serial womanisers and enjoy sex with people they do not even know. But this is not my cup of tea.
Sex is not the same as love, instead I automatically connect sex to intimacy, showing hubby/Master myself most vulnerable and being in harmony with him, because we see each other's needs in that moment. But perceiving your partner's needs does not even have to be a physical activity at all. We connect sex to it, because sex helps a lot in creating this moment where you either show yourself emotionally completely unprotected or you perceive your partner in this most vulnerable state. And sometimes sex is the right means instead of finding the right words to tell your partner what you feel, or instead of speaking in the wrong moment where you'd only lose this connection and destroy the moment.
Nevertheless, on an emotional level, we do not necessarily need sex to exchange intimacies with each other (although I love that part a lot a lot a lot), it also happens if you hug, laugh, cry, look at your partner's needs, talk and listen (!!!!) to each other and more. As a result you might have this feeling that your partner is there for you. If you don't feel that you can talk to your partner on a deeper level, so that you get the impression he does not give you attention when it is needed, then this connection might suffer too. Instead, if you have this moment of being truly together, even if it is only short, it might strengthen the relationship a lot.
The other important point is that your partner is there and able to perceive underlying messages in what you communicate with him. What if he only takes everything at face value? For me this would cause a lot of problems, because what I say does not cover all I feel. Sometimes I am not even able to verbalise emotions, because I have not realised what I feel somewhere in the back, in a deeper layer. That's where you need your partner to be able to read you, to read between the lines of verbal communication. If your partner is able to do so, this strengthens your bond and if you can do the same for your partner, perfect.