Bret Burquest is a former award-winning columnist for The News (2001-2007) and author of four novels. He has lived in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Miami, Atlanta, Kansas City, Memphis and the middle of the Arizona desert. After a life of blood, sweat and tears in big cities, he has finally found peace in northern Arkansas where he grows tomatoes, watches sunsets and occasionally shares the Secrets of the Universe (and beyond) with the rest of the world.

New Dictionary Words

The average person speaks 31,500 words per day. Since I only utter about 47 words per day, mostly to my dog, I once again find myself at the far, lonely end of the Bell Curve.

The main problem with the English language is that it was invented by the English, a race of island bound twits whose major contributions to the human race are cricket and Monty Python's Flying Circus.

To insure the human race has plenty to say, the Oxford English Dictionary folks recently added 3,500 new words to their dictionary, last updated in 1993. Politics and current affairs are monitored closely for new words, as are contemporary subject areas such as technology, food, films and television.

Some of the new words originating in Great Britain due to NEW LABOUR'S election victory (a few years ago) are OLD LABOUR, NEW LABOUR, CLAUSE FOUR, BLAIRISM and BLAIRITE.

British initiatives such as LITERACY HOUR, STAKEHOLDER PENSIONS and BACK TO BASICS were also added, along with topical words and phrases like ASYLUM SEEKER, ASYMMETRICAL, WARFARE, BED-BLOCKING, BENEFIT TOURIST, ECONOMIC MIGRANT, IDENTITY POLITICS, JUST WAR, NAME AND SHAME, SPIN CONTROL and SPINMEISTER.

Slang terms from Great Britain include ANORAKY, BLING-BLING, EARLY DOORS, GOALHANGER, GO COMMANDO, GET REAL, SHEDLOAD and WEDGIE.