Posts Tagged ‘plane crash’

Osborne has entered a 100% risk free business relationship’ with Dr Umaru Shinkafi Egwuatu, director of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust Fund, for a share in a $600 million construction contract that Nigerian officials over-invoiced to the tune of $635.5 million with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5 million among themselves

British television viewers have decided to abandon their TV sets this weekend, thereby missing the important new stories of plane crashes, Gaza and the imminent outbreak of World War Three. Instead they are going to concentrate on getting the barbecue working and drinking Pimms in the back garden.

‘It seems like the right thing to do’ said Lily from Clapham, south London. ‘There are lots of people worrying about the state of the world right now, and I think the best contribution we can make is to have too much to drink on the patio and eat a lot of barbecued chicken wings. If we can get a bit of a sun tan at the same time then so much the better.’

Cartoon characters are in mourning today, after it was announced that a significant number popular children’s TV characters The Mr. Men have died after an Airbus A340 they were travelling in en-route to the UK after a tour of Brazil crashed in the Amazon.