The Tip Minimizer - You could take out the tax, and penalize her because she brought you a lime instead of a lemon for your sparkling water.

The Joined-at-the-Hip Couple - Feed each other food and make cooing noises the whole time.

The Substituter - "I'd like the salmon, but instead of the corn, can I get the braised cauliflower from the steak dish? And instead of the frisee salad, can I get that appetizer you used to have in the '90s, but with a different type of aioli? And instead of the salmon, can I get thrown through the plate glass window in the front of restaurant?"

The Defiant Phone Caller - "No, don't worry about it, I'm not busy. I'm just sitting at dinner with three other people in a restaurant, so obviously I feel like this is the right time to talk openly and loudly about why divorcing Doug was the best thing I've ever done for my sex life. Hold on, I'm getting another call."

The Gluten-Free Evangelist

The Couple with a Baby in a Place Where There Shouldn't Be One - Don't bring little Brayden to the extremely crowded restaurant opening party.

The Perpetual Instagrammer

The Waitress Pick-Up Artist - Did you just draw a pen15 next to your cell number on the check?

The 18-Way Check Splitters - "We'll do $39 each apiece these 10 cards, the debit cards are all $20 and we wrote down the pin numbers in alphabetical order, then the remainder is in Canadian dollars, and the steak knife is for you to murder us all when this finally causes you to snap."

The "Party" Table – Look at us look at us we’re having fun.

The Crazily Underdressed

The Crazily Overdressed

The "Friends" of the Owner

The Eavesdropping Couple - They clearly have nothing left to say to each other. They've been silent for 38 minutes!

The Expense Account Flaunter - Did you need to order three entrees, two seafood towers, AND the suckling pig dinner for four? You're just eating by yourself at the bar!

The Ruiner - Did the words "well done, and please bring ketchup" really just come out of your mouth? That's a $60 rib eye! The waiter looked like he wanted to cry.

The Guy Who Always Gets a Burger - Dude, we're at a Thai place.

The "Industry" Insider - Stop telling everyone what it's like in "the restaurant business".

The Clandestine Farter - You think you got away with it. But your eyes and that ever-so-slight shift in your seat reveal everything.

The Painfully Awkward Blind Date
You could not be making everyone else more uncomfortable.

More Americans than ever are dissatisfied with the products and services they buy.
A study showed 56 million American households experienced at least one problem during the past 12 months and about $76 billion in revenue was at stake for the businesses involved.
Satisfaction is no higher than reported in 1976. People are frustrated that there are too many automated response menus, there aren't enough customer-care agents, they waste a lot of time dealing with the problem, and they have to contact the company an average of four times to get resolution. Some of the findings of the survey include:

--The amount of people reporting customer problems went up from 32 percent in the 1976 study, to 45 percent in 2011, and then 50 percent in 2013.
--The number of households experiencing customer rage went up from 60 percent just two years ago to 68 percent this year.
--We're yelling and cursing at customer-service representatives more when dealing with the worst problems, with yelling up from 25 percent in previous rage studies to 36 percent now, and cursing up from 7 to 13 percent.
--The type of product most often responsible for enraging us is cable/satellite TV.
--Though many people associate the government with customer-service issues, 98 percent of the most serious problems stemmed from private companies.
--Despite the rise of the internet, people are still 11 times more likely to complain via phone than web.
--Customer-complaint posting on social-networking sites, such as Facebook, has nearly doubled from 19 to 35 percent since 2011.
--Most of those who reported a complaint - 56 percent - say they got absolutely nothing as a result, up 9 percentage points since 2011.
--When companies added free remedies, such as an apology, to any other monetary relief they gave customers, satisfaction doubled from 37 to 74 percent.
--If the customer was satisfied or at least pacified, he or she only told an average of 10 to 16 people about the problem, but if customers were left dissatisfied, they told an average of about 28 people.

Slacker worked retail before. It drives me crazy when he sees someone putting steak sauce on their premium steaks. If you have a major food allergy do the research before you go into the restaurant. Slacker says he is not the over pronouncer guy he just pronounces them correctly not with an accent or anything.

Steve says it should say that the customer is always a moron not right. Steve has never worked in the service industry. Steve is the guy that asks for a burger in any restaurant or alfredo in a fancy Italian place.

Little D says that Slacker is the over pronouncer guy when they are out at a sushi place. Every place has policies that are set in stone and people think that since they are in a hurry, or because it is the holidays, or you think you are super special that you should break those rules for them. Then they ask for the manager and the manager says the same thing and then they listen to them. I’m not going to risk my job for you!

If you work in the service industry you get to complain. What is your biggest complaint against the customers?

The worst is when they try to pray for you and want to hold your hand right there in the middle of the restaurant while they loudly pray for you!! Then as if that wasn’t terrible enough and I put up with it anyways they want to give you one of those mini bibles or a fake million dollar bill that says “The million dollar question” “Does Jesus love you?” as your TIP!! That is the biggest thing for me!!