June 17, 2016

Every guy wants to be able to attract women. But let's be honest, some guys seem to have it easy when it comes to attracting women, while other guys (me included) always wind up in second place (or third, or fourth).

When I was younger, it drove me crazy. I wanted to know "what do these guys have that I don't have?" Of course, some of them were good looking, tall, rich and sophisticated - so it was obvious why women would go after these guys. But just as often, I knew guys who were pretty plain, badly dressed, short and out of shape - and they STILL seemed to have this ability to attract women that I didn't have.

I'm not the kind of person who accepts mediocrity, so I started to research, and I read everything I could get my hands on about attraction, psychology and sexuality. The stuff I learned would fill a thousand blog posts, but I'll share the seven most important things I have learned right here. If you read this page, and watch the videos, I promise you that you will get knowledge that took me YEARS to learn. And if you like it, please share it with your friends and social network.

Lesson #1: Understand How to Attract Women from Her Perspective

The first thing you need to understand is that attraction works differently for women than it does for men. Some of you might say "that's obvious", but knowing exactly what the differences are is extremely important. Once you understand how attraction works from a female perspective, you'll find it much easier to create attraction, and to avoid destroying it. Or at least, when you screw up, you will know what you did wrong.

Here's a video where I explain pretty much everything you need to know about attraction in six minutes. I talk about how attraction works in women, the mistakes most guys make, and what you need to do to create attraction. I recommend you watch it in full because there are some interesting examples at the end.

Attraction Explained in Six Minutes

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Once you really start to understand the secret of attraction, suddenly the problem of how to attract women becomes much easier to solve. This is one of those things that guys who really get women understand, and average guys struggle with.

Lesson #2: Women don’t want to be interviewed

Instead of asking her of questions like “where are you from” and “what do you do for fun,” make a definitive statement or a cold read. For example, say “you have a New York vibe” or “you must be a lawyer.” This is a terrific method to prevent the conversation from turning into a boring interview. Try to practice this tactic the next time you're in a bar because it's a crucial behavioral component to attract women. We use a lot of techniques to help guys improve their conversational skills (trigger words is just one).

Lesson #3: Women are attracted to confident men

The idea that women like confident men is almost a cliche, but it's true. Confidence is a valuable in every element of your life, but never more so than in dating. A confident tennis player might play better and more aggressively than an unconfident tennis player, but at the end of the day, he's judged by how many points he scores in the court. But on a date, a man is judged first by his confidence, and only later by any other factors. And most importantly, confidence is learnable. Check out this blog post on The Real Secret Of Confidence if you want to go into more depth on confidence and how to really develop it naturally.

Lesson #4: Don't brag

It's great that you have a nice car and a great job, but don't tell her that directly. Although women are attracted to wealth, they are not attracted to men who brag about it. The reason behind this is that women can sense that a tendency to brag likely stems from low confidence. Instead of bragging, tell her an interesting story that allows her to decipher independently that you're successful.

Lesson #5: When you talk to a woman, make sure to have a relaxed body posture

Relax your shoulders and put your weight on one leg. Lean comfortably against a wall or the bar if possible. Most important of all, hold your drink to your side, not in front of you. Men have a tendency to hold their drinks firmly in front of their stomachs. This creates an artificial barrier between you and the woman and hinders your ability to attract her. If you can incorporate these suggestions, you will come across as a much more confident and desirable person.

Lesson #6: Understand the role of Arousal in Attraction

Attraction isn't just in the mind, it comes from a bit of adrenaline, and excitement. So you can create attraction simply by doing exciting things together (even if the conversation is a bit slow!)

I explain it in detail in this video.

Lesson #7: Women love to role play

Indulge her appetite for fantasy by making her your personal bodyguard and telling her to protect you from the other girls across the bar. Or pretend that you are engaged and then break up with her when she says something that you don't like. Tease her and tell her that if she makes up for it, you might take her back.

Learning how to attract women takes time and dedication, but in the end it's an extremely important skill to develop. Taking the time to work on this element of your life doesn't just lead to fun times with new women at bars and nightclubs, it also leads to better relationships, a better family and a better life down the road.

More On Creating Attraction

If you're interested in learning more about how to attract women, I recommend signing up for the Love Systems Insider - our weekly newsletter with the best dating tips from the world's top dating coaches. Or share this with your friends via the sidebar!

Have you ever been in a position where it is SO "on" with a woman and then later it's not? How she tell you she think...

Chris Shepherd

Author

12 Responses

NHLANHLA

April 20, 2017

THANK’S A LOT IT REALY HELPING ME I’VE LEARNT A LOT DURING THIS SHORT PERIOD

Paul

April 09, 2017

So if a guy is unable to be confident in himself no matter what he should consider the situation closed – ‘game over’ and not even try?

Linus

March 16, 2017

wow i totaly agree with you

Courtney

February 07, 2017

Does this also work for lesbians?

Ceianna

July 02, 2016

Want to know what attracts a woman? Nothing specific because all women are different and are into different things. Some women like soft men and some like very confident , powering men. A male doesn’t have to be dominant in a relationship because then we are just living up to societies standards and not showing the the fact that a lot of women can have a more dominant personality than men. If you are asking yourself, “what do these guys have that I don’t have?” maybe you should second guess how you approach and perceive women. Women are not objects that you can just have sex with and then move on to the next. We have feelings and minds of are own so when you approach us don’t force us to say yes because when she says no, that’s the end of the conversatation not the beginning. When a women says no, back away and leave her alone, don’t keep bothering her like an asshole. A women likes a man who can be himself around her and not put on a fake personality on every date until you guys become serious and she sees how your real personality may be. Next time you approach a women and she says no multiple times, think to yourself and say, " wow I’m being an asshole and I should probably leave her alone because she is not interested and a sex toy for all men to use". If you ever say okay you spoiled brat or something rude after she has said no, stop acting like a fucking dick because when she says no don’t get all butt hurt about it because she doesn’t want to be someones sex toy and she will especially not be interested when you you offend or threaten her.

The biggest secret dating tips for men

June 23, 2016

Women are attracted to men that have a good self-esteem. How? When you have a good self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and this can be seen from the way you talk. If you think low of yourself, then when you are talking to the girl you might be thinking that she is out of your league and you can’t get her and thus your voice will break and you won’t sound confident. You might even end up saying something that you don’t mean. You need to feel positive and good from inside and you will be able to attract any girl easily. Trust me, this works.

daniel

April 30, 2016

thank you

faraaz

April 20, 2016

Nice but wil see if it works

kamo

April 07, 2016

Man this kinda helps.. in fact it’s all or nothing

Joshua sutterfield

January 15, 2016

I’ve only read a few articles, but it was more than enough to get me interested in what I can really learn from this site.