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Getting Around Town With Jamie Shupak: 3 First Date Don'ts

Jamie Shupak is the Emmy-nominated traffic reporter for
NY1, the Big Apple cable network that’s the end-all and be-all on all
things Gotham for New Yorkers. She’s also a beautiful, single woman
navigating New York’s treacherous (and hilarious!) dating scene. In her weekly column she shares
her war stories and offers her advice and admonitions.

So you followed my 4 simple steps to acing the intro email, and you've set
up the first date. Great. Maybe you've even gone back and forth a few
times over email or text since then. Even better. Now it's game time. All
the anticipation, the excitement, the wondering...jeez stop sweating will
you? Relax, it's time for the first date. Wait, you
did GTL first, right? Just checking.

Prepare Like You Would for a Rainy Morning Commute...

I know you're going to bring your "A" game. I know you know not to
mention marriage, kids or where you want to be in 5 years. Would you
tell someone on the crosstown bus that you dream of a
house in Jersey with three little ones someday? Nope. Then don't tell me the
first time you meet me either.

I don't care how desperate you are to wife
up—and I know some dudes who carry a diamond ring around in their
back pocket—spare me the lame-ocity of your wannabe future
until at least the second date. At least. So that's the obvious stuff (I
hope). Here are 3 other First Date Don’ts. As I tell NY1 viewers on a rainy
day, you need the wipers, the headlights, the whole 9 yards—you'll need
to be prepared for all the elements. And trust me, this is no different.

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Please Don't:

1. BE LATE

I don't know about you, but I equate being late with being rude. My
friends and family know I have never been late a day in my life. When
you're late to meet me, you're basically telling me your time is more
important than mine. Or worse, you're too wrapped up in your own world
to take the 5 seconds it would require to figure out how to get there on
time.

I was meeting a guy for first date drinks once at 7 o'clock. At 7:01, this
conversation occurred over text (copy and pasted straight from my iPhone):

Forget the fact that he's telling a traffic reporter he should've taken the
subway. My 4-year-old nephew could've told him that much. You were
hoping I'd be drunk already? Really? I was raised by humans, not
animals, so I was politely waiting for you to get here before I started
slugging down martinis. We actually wound up having a fun night, but it
didn't matter.

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If you're late to a first date (for the record: he showed up
at 7:25), you're always going to be late. For me, that equals a deal breaker. My older
brother has never worn a watch in his life because, as he likes to say,
cool people don't need to know what time it is. Well if I can make an
addendum Lonnie, let me just say, It ain't cool to be late. So to all the
single dudes out there, get a watch, chump.

2. CHECK YOUR PHONE...AND THEN USE IT

I used to be with a guy who had not one, but two phones. They were
basically my third and fourth roommates, dinner dates, and general
managers of my life. And not ones I was particularly fond of. Look, I get
it; you have a lot going on. We all do. But for the few hours we're
together—and it's not like it's a surprise we're meeting up (you did schedule this after
all)—put your phone away.

I went on a first date with a guy once and granted, it's part of his job to
report current events, but imagine my surprise at the end of the night
when I checked my Twitter feed, to find out he had tweeted while we
were out. Confused, I asked him about it and he admitted to tweeting
from the bathroom. Really? On subsequent dates he tweeted while
sitting face to face with me on bar stools, and at the dinner table
between the charred octopus and blackened tuna. Now I love Twitter as
much as the next guy but this brings up an invaluable rule: DT&D - Don't Tweet and Date. (That goes for texting, emailing, or
updating your Facebook status, too.)

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3. TALK ABOUT YOUR PAST...OR ASK ABOUT MINE

I am not ashamed or shy about my past, but a first date is neither the
time nor place to get into it. I'll happily tell you every gory detail, but I'd
rather it come out naturally when it’s to better understand how it
shaped the person I am now, as opposed to on a first date when it feels
like you're just trying to measure me up.

True story:
I was out with a guy on a first date at a sports bar (Spoiler no. 1: watching
my Eagles win that night was the only positive thing I reported to my
mom the next day) and he dug and dug like he was trying to find China
until he found out that my ex and I had a dog together.

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Him: "Oh, so you like dogs? You'll love this story." (Spoiler no. 2: I didn't,
and neither will you.) "I once dated this girl who had a Chihuahua and
every time we would make out the dog would jump off the bed and bark
until we stopped. We obviously couldn't continue like this, so I figured
out how to train the dog. And it was the funniest thing, it worked—every time after that the dog would grab its toy, and take it to play on
his bed until we were done hooking up."

Umm...check please?
To be fair, I did laugh when he told me this story,
but I wasn't laughing with him. Though I respect the fervor with which
he trained this poor animal, I'm pretty sure a first date is a time to put
your best self forward. If this is his national anthem, I don’t even
want to stay for the coin toss.

Lesson learned: Be on time, leave your phone in your pocket, and save
the old war stories for when I actually know you and we can laugh about
them together.

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