Love and marriage

“I just want to tell my children and their spouses to always take good care of each other; be nice to one another. It seems like just five minutes ago, I married Mike and he was so full of life and adventure.” my Mom said.

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The Sleepy Eye Herald Dispatch

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Posted Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:00 AM

Posted Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:00 AM

Sleepy Eye, Minn.

“I just want to tell my children and their spouses to always take good care of each other; be nice to one another. It seems like just five minutes ago, I married Mike and he was so full of life and adventure.” my Mom said.

My stepfather is in his last stages of Parkinson’s disease, unable to move much on his own anymore. He has lived with the symptoms for over 30 years. Just three years less than he and my Mom have been married. They manage well. My mom, as his caretaker, has taken careful attention to celebrate life and make moments important, especially in the last few years.

I recently read an article that included a story about a man asking his wife about how their marriage was going. To his surprise and shock, she was very clear and answered, “It’s hell.” They quickly began working to make things better: taking time to pay attention to the little things; saying more thank yous; listening; focusing more on each other and less on electronics; being grateful to just have each other; making a dedicated effort to say good morning with some enthusiasm; being honest about feelings, words and actions; giving compliments; holding hands; laughing more together; giving love that fit what the other needed (backrubs, notes, special food, etc.) without being asked.

Time flies and life is short, two clichés that we hear often, but don’t seem to consider much. It seems that people who have experienced the death of a loved one or are close to the experience, have a better wisdom or a more appreciative perspective on life. They soak up and celebrate their time with their loved ones; recognizing that a lifetime is quick, feeling like just five minutes. That is how fast it goes. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just take the wisdom of our elders or others, and truly appreciate and celebrate our moments with our loved ones ~ cherishing the time we have with them right now, without sweating too much, the small stuff. No relationship is perfect, there will be challenges, disagreements and bumpy stretches, but how we manage them can strengthen our commitment, as well as our fulfillment of life.

Love is a magnificent experience. Take good care of it. Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to show your love, but perhaps having the mindset that every day is Valentine’s Day would encourage us to find something each day to celebrate!

“Just the thought of being with you tomorrow is enough to get me through today.” ~Author Unknown