Mother’s Day Reflections on God’s Plan

Lisa shares from her heart the path of motherhood and how it is rarely smooth.

“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” (Hebrews 12:11)

Happy Mother’s Day. I write that with the hope that many of you will feel blessed today. Perhaps you will spend the day with your children. Maybe they will call from another state, drop by for a visit. They will tell you how much you mean to them.

Or. . . maybe not . . .

Celebrating motherhood can be bittersweet for many. Some of you still long to be a mother, others of you have children in heaven. Some of you just. . . struggle.

I am one who is struggling.

I love my son. Unconditionally. But my days as a mother are different than how I had imagined.

My story is complex, and I cannot share it–because it is his story too. And I am scrambling, trying to figure out how to process it all, how to find joy each day. Years ago, I learned how to cope with my own illness, my past pains, by sharing it with you–unfiltered.

I have coped through confession. I have learned to manage it through finding the message in it.

My instinct is to try to learn my lesson from God quickly so I can run and share it with others, perhaps saving them a few steps of their own struggles. But when it comes to motherhood, my confessions must only be at the Lord’s feet. My hope must be in the changes He makes in me– not in a message I long to share.

God says no to me making it into a message. “No, this will take time. This is between you and I. You do not have to save the world. You are not God. I am God, and I have something to teach you.” I am not getting the Cliff Notes version of God’s instruction. He is digging much deeper into my heart. And my character. And it hurts. I realize how weak I really am.

There are areas of my illness that I have handled “well enough” on my own strength, and God wants me dependent solely on Him. I need God every day to cope with pain and deformities, bad news from the doctors, tests and treatments. But to receive that full submission to Him, He is using my role as “Mother.” It is motherhood that is bringing me to my knees–at His feet–looking up.

Hebrews 12:11 is a scripture that many quote to reassure mothers that when their children are unhappy about being disciplined to not feel badly. It is for the good of their children. When I read this verse this week, however, I heard God speaking to me.

I am the one who is being disciplined right now. Being a parent takes great discipline and we often think we will be overcome with joy every moment. Isn’t motherhood just like those Hallmark commercials? But being a mom is not always joyful. There are moments of sorrow. Fear. Questions. Tears. Helplessness.

I can attest to the fact that as a mom, I have experienced the widest range of emotions I never even knew existed. Between the sorrows, there are times of extraordinary joy, pride, and celebrations over the smallest things no one else would understand.

As a mom, I have gone beyond what I would have thought was possible with this body of mine.

. . . I have gone to battle at 7:15 AM–with bagels.
. . . I have hired advocates.
. . . I have driven long distances despite my anxiety on freeways.
. . . I have been woken at 7 AM sick from chemotherapy treatment, and spoken with an IEP team over the phone, when they scheduled a meeting without informing me.

And I have collapsed at the Lord’s feet.

Every. Single. Day.

Before I was a mom, I thought I knew what motherhood was all about. I thought it was about raising a child–and as a chronically ill mom, I thought it would be about chasing him at the park and worried about not being able to sit on the floor with him. But it is so much more.

This–motherhood–is how God will mold me. Motherhood is tool that will–I hope–make me more Christ-like.

But there will be many requirements. God has expectations for my own benefit. Motherhood requires patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, surrender.

How many times do I let him get away with that God? How many times have I forgiven you, My child?

I believe God knows what He is doing. He knows this journey.

He knows my weaknesses.
He know my body.
He knows my son–and his precious heart. Because He resides there.

For all of this I am grateful.

My understanding of God and His relationship to His children is more comprehensive to me because am a mom. For our God, being a parent and sacrificing His own son was, I would assume, the hardest thing He has ever done. And yet, look at how Jesus fulfilled this part of the scripture. “. . . afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

I will never know where “afterwards” fits into the timeline of my son’s life and my own. It may be next year, 10 years from now, or even after my death, but for today, I will trust God completely; I will give Him–entirely–my role as “Mother” and wait with anticipation to see what He does with it.

Prayer: God, thank You for the gift of motherhood to so many of us today, whether it be through those we mentor, nieces, our foster children, or our own children. Motherhood comes in so many forms and we all need Your strength to endure what You have called us to do. Be with me always, reminding me that You are there through it all. Amen.

About the author:
Lisa Copen typed this with some difficulty because her son just broke the “Y” key on her keyboard. As she tried to fix it, she tried not to laugh that God made it the “Y” key (as in “why? why?”) Such is motherhood! She is the founder of Rest Ministries and she has lived with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia since 1993. She lives with her son and husband in San Diego. She has been working on a book for chronically ill moms for far too long, because parenting keeps slowing down the progress of the book. However, it is up to nearly 600 pages, so a rewrite is forthcoming.

What thoughts about motherhood would you like to share today?

This video so accurately portrays what motherhood is all about. I hope you enjoy. -Lisa

13 Responses to Mother’s Day Reflections on God’s Plan

Happy Momma’s Day, Lisa! This touched my heart so deeply…you have no idea….Thank you for always keeping it real, and for putting into words, much of what I am living right now in “the emotional department” :-/….sigh…but Still, wouldn’t change it for the world!! Big hugs..but gently 🙂

Dear Lesa,
Thanks so much for the devotional for today. I have a son who does not seem to know that I exist except when he wants money. It really hurts. I have not heard from him so I don’t think I will be seeing him today. I am asking for prayer and peace for this situation. Happy mothers day and God bless.
You are in my prayers.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the devotional today. It was definitely what I needed to read and take to heart after having a way different Mother’s Day from all previous ones…So thank you for those words you have shared with us.

Lisa thank you so much for expressing what you and many mothers feel. It was so truthful. One thing I’d like to also say is that I’m so thankful to the other “moms” that have been in all of my children’s lives. They too helped be guiding forces in their lives. They loved them, listened, prayed & taught with wisdom from God, sharing themselves and their own gifts to mold and shape them along with me. To them I am thankful. I pray that we as women will always rember fthat God instilled a nurturing love within each of us not just for our own family but for all gods children. So even if as a women you have not given birth, if you have loved a child, listened, prayed encouraged etc. You have been a mother to one of God’s blessings. Thank you to each and every one of you.

Lisa, Just wanted to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. I don’t know the full extent of what is going on in your life right now, but you have let us in on your journey. May our Lord give you Grace to live your life to the fullest and may you receive the Mercy that has your name on it.

You have helped so many to live in His love, and mine too. With kindness every day, Elaine Wiley

Wow! That is all I can say this morning after seeing this! I belong to Rest Ministries to help deal with my chronic illness – but what has been bringing me to my knees recently is my relationship (or lack thereof) with my adult son and his family! Yesterday, being Mother’s Day, was probably the hardest day in my entire 53 years! Not only are my children and grandchildren the ones that have given me the most happiness in my life – now they have given me my greatest sorrow and pain! I am struggling, struggling, struggling with finding God’s will in all of this – and I am almost to my breaking point! Seeing this at least made me realize that I am not alone. I wish all of us that are suffering pain and heartache being a mother will be given solace!

Thank you for sharing Lisa. I am so thankful God directed me to your site. I live with Lupus and Sjogren’s. It is a daily struggle with my precious boys. My oldest has ADHD. I am not alone.
May God bless you and comfort you.
Lisa

WOW! I sure did hear you through that open & vulnerable message, Lisa!! Thanks for opening up for us all.

Having a youngest son with various disabilities it was beyond exhausting bringing him up…..still is, even though he’s 22 now! He continues to bring delight & pain!! He just left for a 2nd trip to the Indonesian orphanage mission with our church team on Mother’s Day. On Saturday he went out & bought lots of treats for himself & didn’t bother to get me anything for Mother’s Day……not abnormal, but it hurts!!

Hearing the pain in what others just shared too. Asking the Lord to help you all. God bless. Gentle hugs to all this Mother’s Day. Lotsoluv Kerryn

Lisa, thank you for writing your reflections on being a mother. Your candidness means so much to me and so many others.

I had a lovely day yesterday but the occasion still stirred up some sorrow. My son (our one and only), his wife and our two young grandchildren live in a faraway land, serving the Lord. We couldn’t be more pleased with his choices in life and they did call me. He is so good at keeping us up to date with news and pictures of them. We have the blessing of being able to e-mail back and forth and skype from time to time.

However, I miss them terribly and feel like I’m missing out on so much of our grandkids’ lives. When special times come along, I feel it the most.

I watched the video – how beautiful, how powerful. How true.

I pray for all women who need special comfort right now, including you and others who have expressed the need in their comments above.

All the things you have experienced, are experiencing, & will experience, are all the reasons God placed us in these bodies and set us forth on this earthly walk. None of the hosts of Heaven, save for Christ Jesus, can learn what we are learning as parents & human beings.

I have lost three children, only one survives, angels in heaven cannot understand what that means, but we do, this is the reason we’re here.

In Christ’s Kingdom we will have eternity to reminisce our brief earthly journey, however we will reminisce without the pain, but we will remember it because of the pain giving us the fullest understanding we will never want to return to it, we will therefore never rebel as a third of the angels have, we will have already learned that cost.

Dearest Lisa,
One thing kept leaping out at me as I read this- you are as worthy of the love, attention, and nurture as the Mommy you are…
the same love, tender care, support and encouragement that you offer to others…
that is God’s heart for you.
I am confident that he will surprise you over and over again wwith the tenderness of his heart to you as you take this aching part of your heart to him.
He is, indeed, that mother hen who calls her children to come and find shelter and sustenance under his wings.
And we are so glad to know what to keep in mind as we pray for you.
Much love,
Lesetta