Definitely older, possibly wiser….

This Is The Day

We went to brunch this morning to celebrate my son-in-law’s birthday, taking our baby grandson with us. The little guy did great, spending most of the time either sleeping or snuggling quietly on my shoulder, staring in wonder at the activity around us. It was one of the nicest brunches I’ve had in a long time. The food and company were great, of course. But what really made me happy was the chance to just sit there with my family, holding my infant grandson. And I wanted to savor every minute of it, because I know that babies don’t stay babies for very long and that far too soon, he’s going to be too big to drape so perfectly over my shoulder.

I am not, and never have been, particularly good at “living in the moment.” I tend to put off doing the things that I could be doing, and even the things that I really want to do, until later, when I’m not quite so busy. Or tired. Or stressed. Or whatever other excuse I have come up with for not fully appreciating what, and who, I have in my life right now, at this very moment. And by doing so, I am counting on a future that is in no way guaranteed.

Life can change in an instant, both for the better and for the worse. And all we can really count on is the here and now. So it is actually rather important that we make each and every day count, as much as we possibly can.

For me, that means holding my grandson while he’s still small enough to let me, even if the food on my plate gets a little cold while I do so. Or putting him in his stroller and taking him for a walk on a warm spring day, even when I have dozens of unfinished chores on my to-do list. It even means taking even a few minutes to actually play the piano I insisted on buying a few years ago, rather than just vowing to find the time play whenever I dust it.

Making my day count may mean calling that friend I haven’t talked to in ages, or reaching out to mend a rift that threatens a once close relationship. It may mean making a healthy choice for my next meal, or going for a brisk walk even if the weather isn’t perfect. It may mean trying something I’ve always wanted to do, even if I’m afraid I will fail miserably. The important thing is that I do it today. Not tomorrow, because tomorrow may not come, for me or for someone I love.

Ever since my father died, I have made it a point to call my elderly mother several times a week. Somewhere along the line, we began ending our phone calls with the words, “love you.” We were never the sort of family who said that very often, and it was a little awkward at first. But now it’s a habit, and a good one at that. Because there is no better time to tell someone you love them than today.

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93 thoughts on “This Is The Day”

I am so happy your are enjoying the moments with your grandson and family. You are right, we need to make time to enjoy life and not put it off. It’s a good reminder to also get out for that walk, even if we don’t want to. The feeling of living is so much better than saying I will get to it soon.

[I just put my head around the corner of WordPress just as your post appeared on my screen. I realise I have several of your (and other’s) posts to catch-up on, having been away for best part of three months].

I totally agree with you on this point. I realise, too, how important it is too really make the most of every given moment, because, the future is never promised. I’m made only too aware of this point, having lost my dear Mum last year. She was always very young at heart and kept busy. When she became ill, I was very conscious of the fact that she wouldn’t be here forever. We, too, finished every phone call with the words that you say to your mum also; simply … “Love you”. And. I am so glad we had those moments now.

WIth my children and my friends, I try and remember to tell them frequently that they are loved and appreciated. In the past, I lost a friend to suicide in his twenties and another friend in her forties from a sudden heart attack. Sadly, back then, I wasn’t so aware of the importance of showing my love and affection so readily.

It’s wonderful that you have your baby grandson and are able to appreciate and enjoy every moment with him, He’ll grow up fast enough. But, he’ll never be too old to hear, ‘I love you’ from his grandma/gran/nan (even if he is a tad embarrassed sometimes). Ellie 😉

Thanks, Ellie! I hope I will always tell him I love him. And I’m glad that you and your mother also finished your phone call with those important words. I think the importance of letting people know how we feel about them now is something we learn with age. I didn’t do it when I was younger, either. I’m so sorry about your friends…those profound tragedies do teach us how important it is to say “I love you.”

You touched a very sensitive nerve with your post, Ann. I am just the way you used to be. I also need to learn to live in the moment. Not just to live in it, but also to enjoy it. My wife has had this ability for the very beginning. So as a couple we always haven been able to complement each other. Thank you for another thought provoking post! It makes blogging so meaningful when we learn from each other.

When I first started blogging, I just wanted to write my thoughts down. I never realized how much I would learn from other people’s comments on my posts, and from other people’s blogs. But I have learned so much! It is one of the unexpected benefits, and you’re right, it does make blogging more meaningful. And my guess is that Biene will help you learn to live in the moment…. It’s something I’m struggling to learn as well.

Yes, Ann. So important to try to live in the moment, and so hard to do in the midst of a busy life. I don’t know if there’s a secret to it, but I do know it has something to do with letting yourself be open to whatever comes your way, and not attaching undue importance to the little things that do not really matter. So glad you are getting these lovely moments!

Thanks, Mick! The moments with my grandson are very special. And I think you are right, the only way to live in the moment in our busy lives is to learn to recognize what is and isn’t important, and to let go of the unimportant stuff. We can’t do everything well, so we have to try do do a few things well and ignore the rest, I guess.

I’m sorry for the late response to your comment, but for some reason it went into my spam. Any way, I do agree…it’s hard not to pay attention to our “to do” list, and of course we can’t completely ignore it. But I do need to remember that it doens’t deserve all of my attention, and that I need to just let myself notice what is going on in my present a whole lot more. Thanks for the insightful comment, and for your patience!

Thank you, Miriam. It was actually very similar to what you posted about your camping trip, and slowing down and savoring where we happen to be in our life. Great minds think alike, and so do ours! LOL!

awww – enjoy those snuggles – you won’t believe how FAAASSSSSTTTT they grow!!!!

I always end my phone calls and visits with family and friends with “love you.” I’ve always thought – just in case this is the last time I talk to or see them – that is what I want my last words to be. Sounds a bit morbid – maybe – but it sure doesn’t hurt anything either…. and who doesn’t like to hear they are loved! Love you Ann! 🙂 ❤

I don’t think it is morbid at all…I actually think it is practical. We never know when our words will be the last we ever say to someone, and knowing we told them we loved them is so comforting. That’s why, even though I was initially uncomfortable, I said it. And now it is so easy…just a matter of doing it! And I love you too, Jodi!!!

I try to apply this approach in my own life, and especially when I eat my food: I often think ‘This could be my last meal, so I’m going to enjoy it as much a s I can, and make it a super tasty one.’ I will never forget watching my father really enjoy a meal at the Farmers Markets one day, then suddenly being dead within the week… ten years ago this year. Life is precious indeed. Thank you for your blogging thoughts, G

I’ve never thought of doing it with meals, but that is such a good idea! It would make me appreciate my meals more, not only the fact that I have enough to eat, but to savor the taste more. And you’re right: life is so precious. Thanks for the comment!

Like you I never came from a family that talked about our feelings, but as I get older, I’m learning to say I love you, even though it could be a little awkward. But I’m glad that I get to say it and for them to hear that I love them. Enjoy your time with your grandson, since time goes by way too fast.

Yes, all too often it takes a tragedy, either happening to us or someone we care about, to make us realize the importance of living in the moment, and of truly appreciating the people in our lives. Believe me, this post was a reminder for myself as well!

This post makes me smile. Just being with your family and enjoying that grandbaby is wonderful. In our 30’s we used to talk about what we’d do in retirement. A few years back we decided not to wait until.we are retired. Hockey games with our grown children on a work night is now the norm. 😊

Wonderful. It’s a delight that you and your mother can say the words. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for some people to say “I love you,” but it is. We did not grow up hearing it either, but at some point, both our parents began saying it and I know they truly meant it. Wisdom often comes too late. Enjoy that new grandson. ❤

I figure better late than never. It’s funny how age teaches of things we should have known in our youth, but I guess that makes up for all the other, not so great challenges that aging also brings. Thanks for the good wishes!

Hopefully, living in the moment is an important lesson we eventually learn. It’s a shame losing the opportunities like the ones you describe. If you don’t make time for them, you miss them altogether. Good for you!

I too have a hard time “living int he moment”. I really have to concentrate on enjoying the here and now. Sometimes it comes naturally, like your brunch, and those times are truly magical. Loved your post!

There is no better time to tell someone you love them than right now and no better way to love yourself than by doing the things you love to do in the moment. Tomorrow, later, five minutes from now might be too late. Live the moment.