Summary: The boys plan to put Lucifer back in the cage gets interrupted by your and his chemistry…also you’re clumsy.

Warnings: Small amounts of swearing

Notes: This is mostly dialog and witty banter and flirting between the reader and Lucifer. I know Lucifer and the cage was seasons ago but i just had this idea and decided to go through with it anyways. I also get that geologically this may not make sense but i tried lol

“Alright Sam and i will go deal with Lucifer, y/n you stand guard in case anymore demons show up.”

Castiel had tracked Lucifer to some abandoned grain mill in the mountains of Utah. Since you were familiar with the area the boys called you for help. Sam was excited to have your company again but Dean would rather spoon with the devil. He thought you had a few screws loose but hey, who’s to say he was wrong? Either way it didn’t matter, you were an excellent hunter and the boys needed your help.

*FLASHBACK*

You had led the guys on a three day hike through the mountains before the mill was within sight. “We’re hereeee!” You threw your hands in the air and danced around. “H-How..can you..p-possibly-dear god kill me!” Dean collapsed against a boulder and struggled to catch his breath. Sam, though not nearly as bad, was hunched over with his hands on his knees. “Seriously, how do you have so much energy?” You laughed and skipped over to them, “Why wouldn’t i?” “Why? Y/n we just climbed through mountains. Actual mountains!” “Yeah wasn’t it great?!” Sam huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “We’ll catch our breathes, rest a while, then run through the plan before tonight, sounds good?” “Whatever you say Sammy,” you strode off behind some rocks, “i’m gonna go take a piss, maybe a shit, who knows.” Dean glared at his brother, “We..are n-not..inviting her..anywhere(!)..ever again.”

Once dark it was time to get to work. “Okay are you ready? Sam?” “Ready.” “Y/n?” “Ready.”

There was a long silence as you finished tucking your last strands of runaway hair into your mask. It took a minute for you to notice the audience. You looked between both men, “…It’s gonna take more than that to get me in bed you know that right? Sorry but that Winchester charm doesn’t work on me you got the wrong bimbo.” “Y/n,” “Yes Dean,” “what exactly do you think you’re wearing?!” “Um, my hunting outfit?” “Don’t you mean your Halloween costume from the seventh grade?” “What?!” “Y/n you’re wearing a bunny mask for crying out loud!” “So?!” “SO?! We’re about to confront the literal devil and you look like a holiday hooker!” You rolled your eyes at Dean. “First off,” you pointed to your shorts, “the short shorts give me mobility and flexibility needed to kick ass.” You pointed to your chest, “The crop top, basically the same thing. It’s light weight, can’t slow me down, or be used against me…also its super cute.” Then you pointed to your head, “And the mask keeps my hair out of the way. Also no one can grab it nor can it get snagged on something.” “And the bunny ears?” “They’re cute.” “But they’re big and floppy-!” “Dean! We really don’t have time for this. Y/n you look great.” “Thank you Sammy.” “Okay, let’s go then.”

Getting in wasn’t too difficult, just a couple of demons, but the closure you got to where Lucifer was the more demons appeared. The three of you split up and agreed to meet back in the foyer of the main hall. You were the first to make it there. A few minutes later Sam stumbled down the stairs. “All good?” “Yeah. You?” “Good, good. Where’s Dean?” You just shrugged. What felt like hours the sounds of screams slowly grew louder. There was nothing but the sound of footsteps for a few seconds before Dean limped around the corner. Sam ran to his side, “Are you okay?” “Yeah, i’ll be fine. You guys ready?”

*PRESENT*

Things were fairly dull waiting outside. Occasionally you’d hear some muffled arguing but nothing to raise alarm. Eventually you gave up and slumped against the wall, throwing pebbles and whatever trash was around across the room. The fun was cut short, like always, by Dean; You heard your name being belched from Dean the same way he always did when he was annoyed. You stopped throwing things and returned to boredom. Thankfully you heard some demons approaching fast. ‘Thank god, something to do.’

Sam and Dean were starting to lose patience with Lucifer’s antics and smart remarks. They were ready to give up and go with plan b but then heard the rising commotion outside. Lucifer just seemed annoyed by it, “If you guys could kill each other quickly that’d be great we’re busy in here.” The doors flew open and you with it. You stumbled to your feet, “Y/n-!” “Nope! No i’m fine i got this Sam,” you waved him back, “just a little bit of foreplay. Gotta loosen these guys up, that one’s a stiff but i’m sure i can convince him to let me around back. Isn’t that right hot stuff?” You blew a kiss at one of the demons that followed you in. They quickly attacked you but one after another they fell. Lucifer rolled his eyes, “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to knock-” before they grew huge. You had some cuts and bruises but were still in great shape. One of the demons had ripped your mask off, freeing your fairy tale length y/h/c hair. It danced around your knees and was dusted in blood and dirt.

“Oh,” You sauntered over to join the men. Lucifer looked you up and down like a starving lion. “Oohh hello,” you winked at the little devil, “yes. I like you,” Lucifer growled, “hereee little lamb.” You giggled and gave him a suggestive look, much to the brothers disgust. He starts towards you but the Sam and Dean are quick to block his path, “Nu uh, leave her out of this.” Lucifer didn’t even skip a beat, he casually flicks his wrist throwing the boys out of his way, and continues towards you. You wait patiently while he circles you, inspecting every inch. Occasionally he let out a throaty growl that sends shivers down your spine. He finally stops in front of you. “Hello.” You scrunch your face, “Don’t tell me what to do.” “What.?” The two of you stood staring at each other. Lucifer was trying to get inside your head and figure you out. You were struggling to remember the theme song to Seinfeld. “I find you very interesting.” You shrug, “Well, yeah, i guess that’s an interesting letter. Nothing compared to ‘q’ though let me tell you-” “Y/n.” “Yup. Sorry.” You’d forgotten about Sam and Dean.

They skulked a few feet off, trying to keep their distance from Lucifer, but not too far that they couldn’t help you. “Look do we have a deal or what?” Lucifer took his eyes off of you for the first time since you came in the room. “Oh i’m sorry Sam, is this making you jealous? Don’t worry, i’ll make it up to you later.” Sam nearly threw up, “Please don’t.” he whispered.

“Anyways,” he turned his attention back towards you, “are you the newest member of ‘team free will’? Can i expect to see more of you?” “Ha! They wish. Personally i like a bit of domination; someone telling me what to do-” “Oh-!” “Yeahhh,” you blew him a kiss, “but no, i’m just a friend-wait no! I’m…i’m like the third powerpuff girl.” You leaned in and whispered, “Dean’s buttercup. Sshh.” Being a celestial being, Lucifer of course had no idea what you were talking about, but he admired you and failed to contain his amusement. “Interesting.” He circled you once more, this time dragging his fingers through your hair. “This; your hair is very impressive.” “Thanks i grew it myself.” “Yeah that was my first guess. Any boyfriend?” “You move fast.” “I don’t like to waste time.” “You’re a celestial being, you don’t exist within the confines of time.” “Well when you know you know. And you’re way too gorgeous to be single. “You’re way too old to be flirting with me.” For the first time in maybe eternity Lucifer let out a genuine laugh. “Flirting?” “Flirting.” “And that is…?” “This. This thing we’re doing.” “Oh well then yes i am,” you laughed, “and i could do a lot more too.” “Really?” “Mhm.”

By this point Lucifer had you wrapped in his arms and all things considered it didn’t feel wrong. “You know what?” “What little lamb?” “You remind me of string cheese.” “Hmm, how so?” “Well i don’t hate string cheese.” “Huh, well if that’s the case i would make sure you had an endless supply of this ‘string cheese’ you don’t hate. I could show you a good time in Hell y/n.” You clutched your chest, “You spoil me.” “Tell me little lamb, what would it cost me to take you hmm.” You thought for a minute. “Buy me a pizza-” “Y/n-!” “What Dean you ate mine! I deserve a pizza, a whole pizza! No more no less!” Dean shook his head, “Jesus christ can’t take you anywhere-” “Don’t you bring my half brother into this-”

“GUYS!”

You all stopped your babbling and listened to Sam. “We came here for one thing, to try and make a deal. Now do we have one or not.” The playful look that had been on Lucifer’s face disappeared as he showed the true face of the devil. “You know what. No. We don’t. Personally i’m getting tired of you two always poking in my business. Why make a deal when i can easily squish you both and get what i want too.” He started towards Dean but they had prepared for this. “Sam now!” Sam threw a match on the ground, igniting a holy fire devils trap. Enough oil was used that the fire tickled shoulder height. It quickly engulfed Lucifer but you being there wasn’t apart of the plan. “Well well, looks like i’ll have some company in here.” Dean stood outside the circle fuming, “God dammit y/n you fucking idiot!” “I’m not the one who can’t name all fifty states Dean!” “SHUT. UP. Dean just douse the fire and get her out.” “Can’t.” “Why not?” “Him.” All eyes turned towards Lucifer. He stood glaring back at Dean. He was smirking as usual but his eyes were vivid with rage. “Yeah Sammy he can’t. Because if i get out of here, i promise, you’re all dead.”

The only sound was the fire roaring around you and Lucifer but you had to break the silence eventually. “Sooo…this is probably not the best time to bring this up, but, i have to pee.”

“There has to be something-” “There’s nothing.” “But what about-” “We can’t risk it Sam you know what’ll happen!” The boys had been arguing for the past fifteen minutes about how to get you out but you couldn’t care less. Lucifer stood off lost in his own thoughts and you, well, you had your own problems.

Everyone seemed distracted enough that you felt confident in your plan. No one noticed at first but once you were finished and dumped your boot full of pee into the fire all eyes were on you. The fire grew momentarily before dying back down. “Well i don’t think that’s suppose to happen.” “Y/n-!” “Did you just-?!” “What i told you guys i had to go!” Sam and Dean could not be anymore annoyed but Lucifer was having his own laugh.

“Okay this is getting ridiculous Dean! Alright we can’t just leave her here with him!” Dean wrestled with his thoughts before caving, “Fine. Get the extinguisher Sam.” “Don’t!” “What?” You became the center of attention. “Don’t do it. Leave me i’ll be fine.” “Y/n no we can’t trust him-” “But you can trust me and i say it’ll be fine. Watch,” you look at Lucifer, “Compliment me.” “You don’t smell bad.” “Nice,” you turn back to the boys, “See we’re fine.” “Y/n-” “No Sammy listen. You can’t let him out. He’s not gonna change his mind and i honestly think he’ll kill you this time.” “I will.” “See he will.” The brothers shared a look before walking away to talk among themselves.

“Well i have to say, out of all the humans, i hate you the least.” “Oh Luci-” “Luci-?” “You always know just what to say.” He smiled sarcastically, you of course returned it. “But you do have to realize, while we’re in here, we’re equals Luce.” You strolled around him, delighted with the growing anxious and angry expression on his face. “So here we are, trapped and forced to trust each other.” “I don’t trust you.” “Sure you do.” “I don’t though.” “You will. Which is what the circle of trust is all about.” “Circle of trust?” “Yes! The ring of fire, a romantic touch by the way, is now the circle of trust. We’re stuck in here together pal, a human and an angel without his powers. Plus this fire’s not dying anytime soon so-” “Did you just call me an angel.”

“Alright,” Sam and Dean walked back over, “we…we’re gonna get you out-” “But Dean-” “Y/n we’re just not comfortable with this. The risk of something happening, it’s too high.” “Nothing will i’ll be fine.” “Y/n-” “No this is bigger than me. Look you two need to leave and soon. It’s getting dark out and you’ll freeze if you stay much longer. This is a big fire, we’ll be here till morning, at least. That’ll give you a good head start. You can’t risk letting Lucifer out so please just go. I know these mountains i can make it home by myself no problem. It’s okay guys, please go.”

You said your silent goodbyes before the boys walked out of the doors and left. Your eyes stayed glued to the doors, slowly feeling more alone by the second. It took a minute to realize Lucifer had snaked his arms around your waist, carefully exploring every inch. He inhaled the scent of blood and dirt in your hair as he nuzzled the back of your head. Lucifer pulled you back against him, his hold tightening, “And then there were two.”

Tonight’s concert was all kinds of epic. I don’t even have words. ^_^ This was the second to last song of the night and they started it by running up from the back of the room onto the stage. They were all kinds of adorable all over each other, too. ^_^ They were dancing and bopping and just having an all around fantastic time and it was a wonderful penultimate number to a great concert. ^_^

As for the Marius and Cosette cameos… partway through the song, they switched spots on stage. And as they were moving, Chris *coughs* “accidentally” knocked Samantha down. He then immediately dropped down to his knee to “help” her up. And there was a Moment ™. It was so dorky and so adorable and just… CAN I SQUISH YOU BOTH? XD