Darker Angel Spaketh: I know. It's weird fluff. But it's
meaningful fluff. And being stuck on chapter 15 of the story, I am
absolutely unable to write anymore without writing a small vignette here about
them... as they are unbelievably gorgeous together, I wrote this today out of
sheer boredom and with great care, to portray the relationship between these
two. It's a rather... depressing thing at first, but the ending is sudden
and satisfying. R&R!

-------------------------

Your gaze is cold.

Can you look at me any other way? Can you hold my face in your hands
and tell me the truth? I can't look into your soul that deeply. You
have shrouded it in too much pain, and angst flourishes with your every gesture.
The cause of your suffering evades me... But is it about that
blonde-haired warrior child, the one who feared and scorned your affection?

Or is it much deeper than that?

For ages I have clawed and dug and soothed my way into your being, trying
with every power bestowed upon me to apply the love-salve to staunch the look of
despair in your eyes. But it seems the deeper I go, the farther away your
soul shrinks away from me.

Sephiroth, my angel, my suffering prince, why do you do this to me?

Why is that three-letter phrase so hard for you to say?

The way you touch me, it burns of need. Your whispers awaken in me a
sense of desperate desire to be held close, your kisses cry in the darkness of a
hidden want you cannot indulge. Why won't you touch me anymore? Why
don't you look at me when I say your name?

I brush my fingers through his hair and say his name again. Once more
his eyes look everywhere except my own. Sadness wrenches and clutches at
me, wanting to overtake me. But I know that behind that sadness would be
anger, and he doesn't need that. I keen softly as his lips met my
collarbone, but it is a quiet and thoughtful kiss, without purpose, and at the
sound of my voice his fingers knot tightly in my tunic.

"Don't," he says. "Don't say anything."

"Why not?" I demand softly, kneading the back of his neck lightly,
encouraging him to continue. "Why are you so afraid of this?" I
demonstrate by moving ever so slightly, placing my body underneath his, as he is
already somewhat on top of me.

Sephiroth allows this movement. He turns, looking at me, and again that
pain flashes into me worse than if I had been struck by a lightning bolt.
I want to kill that pain, make it vanish, and to see instead happiness, joy, and
not this strained, withheld lust.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I... I just can't!!" Sephiroth nearly breaks free,
but I am up in an instant beside him. His back is now to me, but my arms
are around his chest in an instant, locking my hand around the opposite wrist
and holding tight. I bite his shoulder, golden eyes ablaze. He
relaxes, and so do I.

"Tell me."

"There is nothing to tell."

"No, I think there is much to be said. So tell me... every time I get
close to you, you shrink away like you're afraid of something. Afraid
you're going to hurt me. You won't, I hope you know. You'll never be
rid of me!"

This makes him smile. For once, I am glad that I am not as evil as I
was before. Joking and teasing has become easier to deal out and deal
with. His smile is like the sun, radiant, eternal. I squeeze his
chest and sit up. "So tell me... is it shame?"

"Maybe."

"Come on, Sephiroth. You've got to give me more to work with. Are
you ashamed to be with me?"

"No... not to be with you..." He turns in my arms, and returns my
embrace. My knee is between his legs, and our bodies close together like a
puzzle-piece. His mouth finds mine, and it is at once a ginger thing,
suckling and drawing back and moving in again, his lips caressing, tongue
seeking, and I give in at once. His hands have moved, migrating
until his fingers, hard and soft at once, curl around my hips and force my groin
to focus solely on his. It does.

He pauses here. The summer breeze of his breath sweeps past my ear,
sending chills down my back. Inevitably my manhood responds as I knew it
would, but recoils as he speaks. "I just... feel soiled somehow... so many
things..."

"I know you have killed, Sephiroth." I am not sure if these words
will console or harm, but he doesn't release me and I don't pull away. "I
know your madness, your suffering. I felt it that first time I entered
your dreams, saw the vision of the boy... and realized within the space of one
breath that your loneliness would be the cause of your rage. Is this not
true?"

Life was always a troublesome thing. Memories of that life could be
lost.. but memories molded a person, shaped a man into the thing he would remain
until a stronger memory could change it, soften the vulnerable matter which
makes up the ying and yang of things. I want the fateful memory so much,
I'll do anything to obtain it... but I don't know anything powerful enough to
undo the shadows in this man's heart.

I press him close to me. His hands have grown limp, his breath deep and
I relish the savory taste of his skin. To my delight, although his
response is subtle, his breath quickens and a change in his body's posture
occurs. I let my hands speak, engrave secret messages along his shoulders
and lower back, where fingertips dance along his spinal column with reckless
abandon. There is something vaguely erotic in the manner in which his body
arches ever so slowly towards me, praising my affection, languishing in it, and
his lips part as he exhales and drives his groin a bit harder into mine.

I realize he thirsts for me as powerfully as I have ever thirsted for him.
But his kisses do not yet descend, instead his hands knead my waist forcefully,
making me squirm, and now he is laughing softly, turning me onto my back where
his hand hovers enticingly over my thigh, raking his nails over the soft fabric
keeping my skin safe from harm.

There. No longer are you ashamed. Play with me. Do as
you will, but don't close your eyes when I touch you anymore. Let me see
your expression.

He ignores my soft begging, and takes his time, the bastard, kissing neat,
smooth trails across my chest, underneath my throat, where in a fit of
instinctive dominance his teeth close very gently around a bit of skin just
below my jaw. During this, I hold very still, because if I move his teeth
might really do harm... but it's so hard to hold still.

I know he would never hurt me.

I know I could never hurt him.

And somehow I know that Sephiroth is aware that if I did, he would forgive me
and understand my unintentional error and forgive me with his dark blessings,
teasing me into madness and strengthening the unconditional love that I hold for
him so dearly.

---------------------

Darker Angel Spaketh: I certainly hope that wasn't too awful... *grins*
Difficult to write without too much citrus in here... but it was good...right?

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.