I take it none of you watched any good cartoons when you were growing up.

you mean cartoons like this?

This is hands down the funniest post ever!

_________________Gob: "My God. What is this feeling?"
Michael: "You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call ... a 'feeling.'
Gob: "It's not like envy, or even hungry."
Michael: "Could it be love?"
Gob: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite -- it's like my heart is getting hard."