Fat Sex: The Naked Truth

I can’t remember the first time I heard the joke “having sex with a fat girl is like riding a moped. It’s a lot of fun, but don’t let your friends find out.”

I was definitely a little kid, though. And it struck me, like a verbal smack to the side of the head. It encapsulated so many things that, as a young girl, I was just beginning to see were going to be sold to me as truth. Every form of media reiterated some variation on the theme that there are only certain bodies that are sexy. There are only specific types of people that we all want to date and fondle and roll around with. You only have sex with people outside of that type if you CAN’T do better. Only some bodies are WORTHY of love and attraction.

But, the joke is ambivalent: it also belies the reality which occasionally pops out from the cloud of marketing: that big bodies are sexy too. That getting it on with someone who is curvy and soft and strong can be sexy and fun. And it’s only a strident system of peer-reinforced fat-phobia that keeps us from getting to explore a wider variety of bodies and partners.

And THIS reality: the naked truth that human beings like naked bodies of all types, is why author Rebecca Jane Weinstein wrote her book Fat Sex: The Naked Truth. Rebecca runs People of Size.com, a forum where folks can share ideas and communicate about anything.

Rebecca talked with us about putting together her book, the stories she heard from real people about real sex. She talks about the many folks who had to “come out” about preferring partners with bigger bodies and the heartbreaking and also hilarious stories of people finding a way to love themselves. And she makes it clear that it’s a book about fat people, but it’s for everyone: anyone who has ever traversed the world of intimate relationships.