New and trying to figure myself out

This may be a long post and I apologize for that, ahead of time. For some reason I feel like I've been drawn here. I've had the site bookmarked for a few days and it never leaves my mind.
So here I am.

About me: I am 39 and female. I am also Scorpio. I have had quite a few things happen in my life that I cannot claim them as coincidence.That much I know. My main concern is and I wonder if...anyone else is like a psychic sponge.Here is what I mean: I can wake up in a great mood and as the day goes by and I interact with more people (namely family members)- I start to feel bogged down by negativity. Normally I am in a very positive mind set. Is there a way to protect myself from others' negativity? I feel so exhausted by the time it is bed time. Anyway-this is my most pressing concern at the moment.

I feel like I should explain more about myself as well and this is where it might get long. Just really hoping someone can shed some light on why some of these things have happened.So here goes.

My mother told me I was blessed by a witch as a baby. Being from Louisiana, well I'm sure stranger things have happened (this is not meant to offend anyone). Not sure if it was truly a blessing (LOL) or a curse. At any rate here are the things that have happened to me.

The first weird incident that I can remember and gets weirder still later in my life because my uncle saw the exact same image at around the same time only we were in different states and I had no contact with my uncle until I was in my 20's. Anyway the summer that I was 7 we spent that summer camping and visiting my grandparents. One night when I was trying to go to sleep, I got the scare of my life. As I was drifting to sleep I looked out the window and saw a dark/black figure-not human? with red glowing eyes. Of course I called for my mom and was hysterical: soon after the event below this happened. But when I was in my 20's I met my uncle who says that he saw that exact same thing. His figure was standing on the balcony- mine had to have at least been 7 ft tall/or floating because he/it was looking in the window of a modular home.

At the age of 7 my family and I were on a camping trip in 2 separate vehicles. I remember stopping for vanilla ice cream cones and getting back on the road. I was riding with my mom and my little brother (3 yrs younger) was riding with my step dad. I raised holy hell with my mom and told her that I wanted to ride with my step dad-ie switch vehicles. So she flagged down my step dad and they pulled over and my brother and I switched vehicles. I was in the front vehicle- an hour later,the next thing I know, my step dad slammed on his brakes and says oh sh!t. Long story short- my mother had rolled her car and my brother died in that car accident. For 32 years I have dealt with survivors guilt over this incident.

When I was 9 yrs old and my family was stationed in Germany. One night before I was almost asleep, I believe I saw an apparition of my brother. He sat on the side of my bed and said "he was okay and everything will be alright." It was shortly after this visit that vivid dreams started. Some of my dreams were repetitive and in color. Other dreams were just like everyday life type dreams, ie-things and conversations like in everyday activity. That was all fine and well, until my dreams started happening in real life, ie-deja vu and I mean alot-still have them to this day.

Then when I was 18 and newly married my then husband and I were house hunting. We were at this house with a real estate agent. Two areas in the house made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and made my chest feel heavy. This is when I learned that a real estate agent does not have to openly admit that there has been a death in a home. I did find out that a teenage girl had been pushed down some stairs and died in that house. The exact areas that made my hair stand up.

So then hubby and I settled on another house which I thought was fine until we settled in, ie-no weird feelings. Though I had neglected to go in one room of that house. It was a dirt cellar area-that led to the backyard. I guess I didn't feel the need when looking at the house. Still didn't go in that dirt cellar until weird stuff started happening. For instance cables started moving back and forth in our basement (the cables were hanging from a rafter in the basement) started moving back and forth against the wall. The door knob jiggled by itself one night-like someone was trying to get in.

So in the day light-I went snooping around this new home and actually went in the dirt cellar area. The feeling about knocked me on my butt. Again the goose bumps, raised hair and tight chest. I left the room and locked it behind me. We had friends over one night that were curious about the locked door. I vaguely remember telling them don't go in there its really creepy and it feels haunted. They ignored what I said and went in that room and started taunting what they could not see. ie-I aint scared of you ghost.

The next day, the 2 friends that went in that room were on a drive 2 hours away from our home town. They were in a horrible car accident. One was in a coma for 2 months. The other just badly bruised and a broken leg.

Another incident involves a winter road trip- I was so uptight to the point of crying and having a panic attack- myself and 2 friends were driving to pick some stuff up out of storage in a neighboring state. We made it to get my stuff. It was on the way back that one of my friends had a heart attack and we had to get him to a hospital immediately. He survived, thank goodness!

Another incident that was weird as a teenager. Some friends and I were driving back from a picnic on a semi country road and came upon a car accident. We stopped to help and there was a young guy trapped under his car. WE lifted the car off of him and helped him until and ambulance arrived. We never knew if he made it or not-that is until 1 year later. I was hitch hiking with a girl friend and this guy stopped an picked us up. He had this doozy of a scar on his face and I got a weird vibe off of him-I was sitting right beside him. He described the exact spot where we had helped the young man trapped under the car and the exact time period.

As if that was not weird enough, I saw this guy one more time- a friend of a friend was trying to get my husband and I into selling Amway products- guess who shows up to show the Amway products? The guy that was trapped under the car!

So recently I was living on the Oregon coast and used to drive by this house that had been turned into a restaurant. I swear I would darn near break my neck staring at the attic window as I drove by. It would literally snap my neck just to look at that window. So I decided to investigate haunted places on the Oregon coast. This house/restaurant was listed in the haunted places.

The most recent event 3 weeks ago- I was on facebook and my sis-in -law had posted a picture of my husbands grandma. I instantly got chills as I looked at the photo-(and this has never happened before). The grandma was/had enshrouded in a gray cloud around her. A week later she fell and broke her hip and was in the hospital for the hip and bronchitis. She was just released last week.

So to bring my story to a close-weird things have happened all my life with the psychic sponge thing at the beginning and the recent event with the grandma.It feels like my feelings are getting stronger.

I am a book worm so have been reading most of my life about various phenomenon. However, I can't pin down what is going on with me. One other thing, just remembered. My right palm always itches when I am going to receive money or even something I desire. My mother told me that something runs in my family but she never elaborated on what type of "gift" it was.

So at any rate, again I'm so sorry for pouring this all out, especially with my first post. I do feel relief. But- can anyone tell me what the heck is going on with me? What do I have and I say that with humor.

My main concern is and I wonder if...anyone else is like a psychic sponge.Here is what I mean: I can wake up in a great mood and as the day goes by and I interact with more people (namely family members)- I start to feel bogged down by negativity. Normally I am in a very positive mind set. Is there a way to protect myself from others' negativity? I feel so exhausted by the time it is bed time. Anyway-this is my most pressing concern at the moment.

Hi

I was having similar problems, only it was more todo with the connection between myself and others. A touch, a glance would create a connection (it did not happen all the the while) but when it did I would take on their persona and I found it very difficult to break the connection. Imagin the connection is like a telephone line from them to you. Here is how I get around it:

First ground yourself (connection to earth is better), imagin roots going down from your feet into the ground and allow all negativity to flow away through the roots into the ground.

Now you have to sever all the links (all!) Imagin a guiloteen or scissors cutting all the links, like a shroud surounding you.

My first reaction was 'but I do not want to sever the the links between me and my loved ones', it is all or nothing and the links between you and your loved ones very quickly return.

After a while you will find that you select the links that you want to make and find it increasingly easier to break selected links.

My main concern is and I wonder if...anyone else is like a psychic sponge.Here is what I mean: I can wake up in a great mood and as the day goes by and I interact with more people (namely family members)- I start to feel bogged down by negativity. Normally I am in a very positive mind set. Is there a way to protect myself from others' negativity? I feel so exhausted by the time it is bed time. Anyway-this is my most pressing concern at the moment.

Hi

I was having similar problems, only it was more todo with the connection between myself and others. A touch, a glance would create a connection (it did not happen all the the while) but when it did I would take on their persona and I found it very difficult to break the connection. Imagin the connection is like a telephone line from them to you. Here is how I get around it:

First ground yourself (connection to earth is better), imagin roots going down from your feet into the ground and allow all negativity to flow away through the roots into the ground.

Now you have to sever all the links (all!) Imagin a guiloteen or scissors cutting all the links, like a shroud surounding you.

My first reaction was 'but I do not want to sever the the links between me and my loved ones', it is all or nothing and the links between you and your loved ones very quickly return.

After a while you will find that you select the links that you want to make and find it increasingly easier to break selected links.

PN

Thank you for that. I will certainly try your suggestion. They say happiness is contagious, but hardly anyone speaks of negativity being contagious! Its also nice to know that someone else has experienced these feelings, now I don't feel so alone.LOL.

I agree some very interesting experiences. I believe things happen for a reason, but what are the reasons?

quite simple: because you invite them?

I do not say this to be contravertial (read it as I spell it, it is easier that way), My intuative skills are high but with low visual skills, it may be that your visual skills are high as well as your intuative skills.

I shut down 30ish years ago - something I regret. It is up to you, develop or close down. If you develop then the things that happen come with the terratory. There is no way of hiding from it, you just have to develop the skills to cope with it? Learning to ground and meditate properly are a good starting place. In a nut shell it is the training of your mind - see how long you can focus on an object or single thought, when you are upto 20min then you have started to control it!

I agree some very interesting experiences. I believe things happen for a reason, but what are the reasons?

quite simple: because you invite them?

I do not say this to be contravertial (read it as I spell it, it is easier that way), My intuative skills are high but with low visual skills, it may be that your visual skills are high as well as your intuative skills.

I shut down 30ish years ago - something I regret. It is up to you, develop or close down. If you develop then the things that happen come with the terratory. There is no way of hiding from it, you just have to develop the skills to cope with it? Learning to ground and meditate properly are a good starting place. In a nut shell it is the training of your mind - see how long you can focus on an object or single thought, when you are upto 20min then you have started to control it!

Try researching focal meditation

PN

Hi Prime Number,

I did not think you were being controversial in anyway. Could be you are right~they are invited.

I would like to develop as you put it, but I am really unsure of where to start. I will look into the focal meditation that you suggested.