Ms Action: No, put him on the potty, because he has to go lots and lots and lots of pretend poo poo.

3.

In the car:

Ms Action(shrieking!!): Mom! My coat unzipped again!!!

Me: I’m sorry that happened, we will fix it when we get there.

Ms Action: No! It’s not right! Fix it now!

Me: Honey, sometimes coats don’t work the way they are supposed too. Like, my coat won’t zip at all right now because my belly is so big.

Silence…Ms Action (Matter-of-factly): That’s because you have a baby in your belly. That’s what wrong with you.

4.

In the Kitchen:

Me: Honey? Where is the Salad bowl?

Silence…

Husband(smiling sheepishly): Um, I think I put it in that food cabinet. You know the one that you cleaned out in a pregnancy hormone induced rampage the other day and told me to never put dishes in there anymore?

5.

At bedtime:

Ms Drama: What is a Jelly fish?

Ms Action: A jelly fish is made out of bubble gum.

Ms Drama: Ohhhh, so that the fish can eat them.

Ms Action: No, fish don’t eat Jelly fish.

Silence…

Ms Action: Fish, BIG fish can eat people!

Ms Drama: Yeah, because they have big teeth like me. (chomps her teeth)

Ms Action: But people don’t like that, because teeth can hurt! So they say “no fish! Don’t bite me!”

6.

In the Kitchen:

Husband: I thought we were eating the left over Thai food for lunch, why are you making French toast.

Me:YOU can have the Thai food, but I’ve been craving French toast for days now, so I’m having that.

Husband: Oh. Is that why you’ve been suggesting French toast for like every meal?

7.

Ms Action: Mom, I’m a “kinkadoo”, do you know that word kinkadoo?

Me: Ummm, you mean a kangaroo?

Ms Action: No, a kinkadoo. Kink a doo.

Me: ??

Ms Drama: Oh no! The kinkadoo is stuck in a beehive!

Me: ??

Ms Drama: But then Diego will tell us to pull pull pull and we will get him out!

(That was when I realized they were talking about a cartoon. If anyone knows what Spanish word sounds like “kinkadoo” let me know!)

Bonus:

Clearly way past my naptime:

Me(crying): This day stinks. The house is messy, the kids won’t stop touching me and the bread for my sandwich won’t work right!