I smoke weed regularly and tried both acid and salvia, although both didnít really have a big effect on me. I didnít get any effect from salvia at all. So I just suppose that psychedelics do not work properly on me, for whatever reason. However I am always trying to broaden my mind with any drugs I can get my hands on to see whether something will actually work some day. Since I had heard of the psychedelic effects of nutmeg from various sources, I was curious whether this would give me something.

So one evening after a few joints with friends (about four joints, but weed funnily enough effects me very strongly) I was really baked and alone in my apartment and ended up thinking that taking the whole bag of nutmeg, which I actually had in my kitchen for cooking, might be a good idea.

It was about 2 oí clock in the morning so I thought I would take the nutmeg, enjoy the trip for one or two hours and then go to sleep (what a stupid, stoned idea). The nutmeg was already grated and there were 18 g in the bag. I decided to do some research on the internet first, but couldnít find anything on the right dosage. I found a few threads where it said that you had to take a few ounces, so I decided to just chug down the whole bag. In retrospective this was very irresponsible and I will never do something like this again, but at the time it sounded reasonable in my head.

To cover up the bitter taste of the nutmeg I mixed it with half a cup of soy-milk. After taking the first gulp I wanted to puke. However I forced myself to drink the whole rest in one go, which was a good idea because with the soy-milk the bitterness only came as aftertaste.

After some time (approximately 10 minutes) I felt like the weed-high was getting stronger, I felt more relaxed and very light-headed but also my stomach hurt and I felt sick all the time, however decided not to make myself throw up. Then my vision became blurry and I got very sleepy. My eyes could not focus on anything. Every item in the room looked like it was sort of liquid, not in a fixed shape but constantly changing shape slightly when I looked at it. I was starting to feel very disconnected from the world and my own body. I realized that I was starting to get paranoid, not scared of anything in particular but just scared in general. It was starting to become a really unpleasant high.

It was starting to become a really unpleasant high.

I tried to read a book but it was impossible. So was watching TV. For some reason I did not think of listening to music, but decided to go to bed instead. At least that is all I remember.

The next day I woke up feeling like I had the worst hangover of all times. My stomach hurt like it was trying to kill me. Every time I was standing, I lost sight (like you know, when you get up too quickly and donít see anything for a few moments), feeling extremely dizzy. I tried to look up on the internet what the lethal dose of nutmeg was, and after finding that I had definitely not reached that, I got a bit more relaxed. I wrote to my friends on facebook, who I had planned on meeting that day, that I was not feeling well (writing was difficult; my eyes were still not focusing properly). Then I made myself throw up, which really didnít help. I drank lots of water and ate something, but the stomach pain didnít go away. Moreover my head felt like my brain was just too big, pressing against my skull from the inside. My head also felt very hot, like I had a fever. Very unpleasant. I lay down in my bed with some tea and tried to sleep through the whole thing until I was feeling physically and mentally better.

Then the real paranoia started. It was about 12 hours after I had taken the nutmeg, and I had read on the web that the trip could last up to 3 days. I was really tired all afternoon, constantly slipping in and out of sleep. When I was awake, my heart often started pounding like mad and random body parts started hurting, making me think that I was going to have a heart-attack. I tried to mentally control my heartbeat to get it down to a lower pace, which luckily worked a bit. I was starting to accept that I was going to die. I was really not in a logical, responsible state of mind. I started imagining what my friends would do at my funeral and stuff. My chest and back hurt, my heart was beating way too fast. For some reason I began focusing on my breathing, and I got so afraid that I would just stop breathing if I didnít constantly focus on it that I actually just thought ďinÖ..outÖÖinÖÖoutĒ for about quarter of an hour. Or maybe it was just a few seconds, I donít know. Time didnít really run normally. I tried desperately not to fall asleep since I was sure that I was not going to wake up again if I did. After some time I fell asleep though, after I had assured myself, with the small rest of the logic I had left, that I had not taken enough nutmeg to die from it.

For hours I was constantly slipping in and out of sleep until I managed to sleep through for a little while. I woke up at about 7 in the evening feeling a bit better, meaning that my heart was not racing anymore and my mind felt a bit more in this world. I managed to keep myself from getting scared that I might not escape this state of mind anymore, because I knew how paranoid I would get then. I met up with my friends (luckily I didnít have to leave the house) and smoked a joint with them, which helped a bit against the pain. The whole trip wasnít completely over until about three days after and even after four days I still got a funny visual where I looked at the ground and the stones looked like they were all under water. But I was at least able to enjoy that because I was not in pain anymore (I felt sick and dizzy for about three days after taking the stuff).

Now, one week later, Iím still feeling a bit weird.

Now, one week later, Iím still feeling a bit weird.

I feel like I cut a few strings that connected me to this world and this reality. I am constantly restless and I get emotional way easier than I did before. I also feel depressed at random times and without particular reason, which did happen to me before, but not as frequently. I also find it slightly harder to focus on things with my thoughts. I am pretty sure though that I am gradually getting back to normal again. I donít think that I will ever take this stuff again, and if I do, only under supervision. I regret sleeping through most of the trip, but I know that it would not have been pleasant if I had been awake. I also wish I could remember more of what I felt and saw while I was on it, but it is very hard because I was half-sleeping most of the time. The whole thing just feels like a dream in my memory, like I had dreamt for three days straight.

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