Every day is the finest time of his life, if you ask me, but even I would admit that this day ranks right up there.

He is reading his fortunes.

“Dog who pee on dog gets a leg up on the competition,” he intoned. Waiting a comedic moment, he then howled in glee.

Fido had received a box of dog fortune cookies in the mail. Who from? He doesn’t know. An admirer. But right there on the Chinese takeout box, was the label, “Kung Fu Fido,” made somewhere in Minnesota.

Fido is having the time of his life.

Every day is the finest time of his life, if you ask me, but even I would admit that this day ranks right up there.

He is reading his fortunes.

“Dog who pee on dog gets a leg up on the competition,” he intoned. Waiting a comedic moment, he then howled in glee.

Fido had received a box of dog fortune cookies in the mail. Who from? He doesn’t know. An admirer. But right there on the Chinese takeout box, was the label, “Kung Fu Fido,” made somewhere in Minnesota.

He gets to have one a day and wolfs the cookie as if it were never there in the first place. But he saves the paper fortunes in a small container. He figures it’s a better way to spend his time than watching post-season, Big Ten football, and he’s right.

“A sled dog works in a team. The dog helps people by putting their human things on a sled, then pulling them along the snow. Most sled dogs love this kind of thing.”

“But after pulling a sled all day with people’s stuff on the sled, why would any dog go an extra mile? I’d think they’d want a nap. Do they get another biscuit? Is there a reward?”

“Got another one that’s not so mysterious?”

“Confucius say, dog housebroken? Hire carpenter.”

Fido thought about this for a half a second and then began to laugh. First it was just a snort, then a couple of snorts, then a full-on belly laugh. He rolled onto his back, laughing a river of tears. “That,” he said, “is rich.”
“OK,” I said. “One more. But that’s it for today. I have to get back to the Big Ten Bloodbath on TV.”

Fido fished out the last fortune in the bowl.

“There is no such thing as a stranger—only a butt that has not yet been sniffed.” Fido put his paw to his chin. It was a thoughtful pose.