Monday, November 28, 2016

What would you do if you have a bunch of money and free time. Oh never mind, the first thing you have in mind is to travel: “Oh, I’d love to see New York!” Or Paris, or Australia, or Zanzibar. Or Whateverland. You want to stroll down through well known avenues or hang out on a faraway beach, maybe drinking some tropical, sweet cocktail, shit.

I have a friend who read Eat, Pray, Love, which is a story about a woman’s travels and as soon as she finished the book, she got online and made reservations to go to visit the same countries. I have another friend who read 50 Shades of Gray and as soon as he finished the book, he got online... oh well, that is another story not for this blog.

Hey, how about my neighbour? He is a wealthy sixty something man, doing a lot of travelling. He spend more time on the airports and hotels in a month than me in a whole year. But if you ask me, he is a completely nut case.

It appears that everyone likes travel. And I’m the only who doesn’t love it which makes me what - a freak, in a way. It’s like hating Christmas (which I admit I do) or weddings (which I despise) or kittens (which I don't hate. Who hates kittens? Fuck!).

It took me a long time to admit that I don't like to travel. In fact, I'm pretty close to saying I hate it. For years I said I liked it without really thinking about it, because I had the vague sense that it was part and parcel of being an educated, intelligent person. Right now I'm pretty sure that I'm not so intelligent so I can freely say if I have to travel, it mostly feels like punishment.

I can't stand air flights? It is just waiting. First you wait to give your suitcases and to get a boarding pass. Then you wait to enter the plane, then you wait for take off. Then you sit in dirty plane smelling dirty socks, looking at the small screen until your eyes hurt you...

When you arrive, you wait to get out of the plane, then you wait border control and your suitcases. If all is without any problems you were waited almost 10 hours from Toronto to Amsterdam. People call this travelling.

I do travel, of course. I like seeing my family and friends, and if that involves travel, then fine. I can cope with the horror of flying for the fun of visiting my home country. I also manage to get out of the house. I like day trips and walking because I am so happy to be back in my own home at night. I don't like overnight trips - two days of activities and one night in a strange bed. I can't stand it. It completely ruins my daily schedule and morning yoga practice.

I see no excitement seeing new places especially cities. I have never been and I'll never be in London, Paris, Rome, New York etc.. Exploring streets, wandering though city, checking out the restaurants, museums, zoos... it's all bullshit. The same for souvenirs... which are closely related to traveling. You know, the plastic, glass or ceramic shit, the crappy things that you will never ever use; It s a generic, pathetic and nostalgic bullshit.

What's wrong with a magnet for the fridge? or a bag to carry your lunch in that says "I love ...whatever" or a T shirt, you'll never wear. Souvenir is a French verb that translates as to remember, or a memory. They are unnecessary items you'll find everywhere you go. They exist for travelers to buy them so they remember the trip.

People buy souvenirs not necessarily for themselves, but for others too. There is a great fear of having nothing to show to the family and friends. Where have you been? Let's take photos, post on Facebook, oh you don't have a profile then here is, the crappy thing so don't forget this wonderful trip.Why does travel matter in life generally?

It's stupid but very common belief that the travelling, seeing other places and passing through the experience matters. I heard it before, "we are here, we're living this life to gain experience". No my friend, you are living this life because you don't have anything else to do. At the end of your life you will forget everything you "gained", but I'll not about it. You want to travel because you are simply bored with your daily fucking dull and uneventful life.