HURT LOCKER DIR. TO RE-EXPLODE YOUR FACE

Ball-rattling action flick The Hurt Locker is easily the best movie I’ve seen this year and has damn near universal appeal. So why the hell is it still playing to 535 theaters seven weeks after its release while G.I. Joe opens in 4,007? Don’t answer that smartass, just share my righteous indignance. Anyway, the good news is, Hurt Locker director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal and teaming up again, fora film called Triple Frontier, from Dark Knight producer Charles Roven.

Boal’s writing the script, set in the notorious border zone between Paraguay, Argentina and Brazil where the Igazu and Parana rivers converge — making “la triple frontera” difficult to monitor and a haven for organized crime. [Variety]

The guy who was embedded with an Iraqi bomb squad is doing a South American organized crime movie? Color me giant boner-having. Also, are you guys thinking what I’m thinking? That’s right, DANNY TREJO.

“Ok, our movie ‘The Hurt Locker’ is awesome, but that G.I. Joe piece of shit is still going to make ten times our gross. What do we do? What do they have that we don’t? What can we add from G.I. Joe without selling out and killing the message?”

*Production assistant meekly raises hand*

“Ummm… more berets, sir?”

By: Slaappy

08.10.2009 @ 2:44 PM

Between Donkey and I avi’s the explosions would look more intense…

By: Donkey Hodey

08.10.2009 @ 2:52 PM

So why the hell is it still playing to 535 theaters seven weeks after its release while G.I. Joe opens in 4,007?

You coasties may have a majority of the nation’s population, but we have all the movie screens.

By: Donkey Hodey

08.10.2009 @ 2:57 PM

‘Triple Frontier’ sounds like a movie about Davy Crockett played by JCVD.

By: Charlie Br0nze

08.10.2009 @ 2:57 PM

As intense as The Hurt Locker is, the further i got through it, the more i was bugged that something was missing from it, denying it true greatness. Maybe dinosaurs?

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:09 PM

Why? Have you seen the ad for it? Terrible trailer. At 25 meters I stopped giving a fuck.
[<=== Is really iching for a free night to go see it]

By: Stone Soup

08.10.2009 @ 3:10 PM

I think “Bomb Squad” would be a good name for a movie review show. Or blog…

By: Dr. Thunder

08.10.2009 @ 3:11 PM

*closes world of warcraft window* How about a plot where Lara Croft has to find the Hurt Locker before GI Joe does, Danny Trejo can ride a velociraptor…*takes bite of string cheese* how about that!?

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:14 PM

The Fox Studio’s board is also known as a bomb squad.

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:16 PM

Triple Frontier? I don’t hardly kno…

[IED explodes next to Crappy, he gets blown into a UPS van and shipped to Akron, Ohio]

By: Donkey Hodey

08.10.2009 @ 3:19 PM

A Triple Frontier is when three men touch the tips of their dicks together.

By: Michelle07

08.10.2009 @ 3:26 PM

I’ve seen their women, triple backtier too.

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:26 PM

Color me giant boner-having

What’s the color for pinky dicked lying Dago, anyways?

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:32 PM

Paraguay,
[points at Donk and J]
hehe.

By: Donkey Hodey

08.10.2009 @ 3:32 PM

What’s the color for pinky dicked lying Dago, anyways?

I don’t know specifically what it’s called, but it’s in the orange family.

By: Donkey Hodey

08.10.2009 @ 3:36 PM

*points back at Crappy*

Uruguay.

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:37 PM

[points to Token Black Guy]

Niger

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:40 PM

<== Watched Gran Torino, feeling all Walterish

By: Vodka

08.10.2009 @ 3:42 PM

[points to Michelle]

Cunt

Wait, I think I’m doing this wrong.

By: Donkey Hodey

08.10.2009 @ 3:50 PM

*Points to trishalinedm & her mother*

Wales

By: Crapbasket

08.10.2009 @ 3:50 PM

Yes.

By: ChinoMoreno

08.10.2009 @ 3:58 PM

Vodka, you take back what you said about Michelle or I’m gonna shoot you. Or maybe have you on the rocks.

By: ChinoMoreno

08.10.2009 @ 4:00 PM

*points to third world country*

Po’Land

By: Michelle07

08.10.2009 @ 4:01 PM

I will SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY! Good day sir, I SAID GOOD DAY!!

By: ChinoMoreno

08.10.2009 @ 4:03 PM

*points to Iceland*

Chile

By: ChinoMoreno

08.10.2009 @ 4:06 PM

*sigh

I guess I’m doing this wrong.

New Up!

By: Thunderdan

08.10.2009 @ 4:50 PM

*gestures at the ladies, points to own penis*

uranus?

By: argentino

08.11.2009 @ 9:58 AM

*points to self*

argentino

no points for that

By: argentino

08.11.2009 @ 10:00 AM

I´ve been to the triple frontier, nice place, you can buy a five year old for a few bucks, if thats your thing. I´m more into monkeys.