Welcome to the BlogAdda Forum. Post your queries and views on various subjects surrounding the Indian blogosphere, connect with like-minded folks and have quality conversations. Spread the word amongst your fellow bloggers and let’s help each other.

“Tujhe sab hai pataaa…….meri maa”, as the poignant song played on the FM, it touched chords deep inside that I forgot existed. My weary eyes were moist with many a memory and slowly the floodgates opened as the tears traced their salty path along my red cheeks. It was Mother’s Day and the careful selection of heart wrenching numbers played an ode to God’s most magnificent creation, only glorified second best by Bollywood. It was having the desired effect on my emotional equilibrium; I picked up the phone and dialed the all too familiar number. ‘English thumke,dil ki rhythm pe, Maare jamm jamm ke, Desi Boyz’, the caller tune rang blissfully, unaware of what I felt or what I was to say.

“No, no Maa, I’m fine”, my tone was that of a child who'd just been reprimanded. “Just that it’s Mother’s Day so thought we could do a lunch together. Just the two of us, spend some quality time.”

“And waste what I already cooked? Do you know chicken is 110 Rs a kg and Rajma is 80 Rs a kg? You think money grows on trees? You couldn’t call earlier, I would not have cooked.” By suggesting wastage I had committed sacrilege and could not retrace my steps.

“But they played that song now…..” I said aloud and then lived to regret it.

“Huh? What song? Have you been drinking again?” She never stopped doubting me on that one and I have no clue why!

“Noooooo Maa” I said, trying to change the topic, “Ok how about dinner then?”

“The watchman just informed me that there won’t be any water supply for the next two days. So I need to stock up when he pumps in the water for today at about 7.30 pm. So dinner is definitely not happening. Can you believe the state of this city? Gone to the dogs I tell you”.

“Accha, so how about a quick coffee then?” I said, trying very hard to accommodate myself in her social calendar.

“Are you trying to kill me? You know my sugar levels have gone up. What has gotten into you?” She was about to get into her ACP Pradyuman ‘case solving skills’ mode when I intervened her thought process.

“It’s Mother’s Day Maa!” Now I was as exasperated as she was. This was just not going the way the FM RJ had intended.

“Another Bank holiday? When do people work here? I needed to withdraw some money.”

“No Maa, I said correcting her (and feeling so darn good about it) it is not a bank holiday and FYI you can withdraw money from an ATM anytime.”

“For my eyes? Nothing is wrong with my eyes” she said, stating matter of fact. “I don’t understand that plastic money business. How do you know you’ve spent something if you haven’t spent anything? That is the problem of this generation. You people want everything at the press of a button. Food, job, services, information, mother, life partner even children for Chrissake! If labour came with conditions applied in our times, the human race would not have lived to speculate on the world ending in 2012. Ok, I need to hang up now, my chicken is turning into coal and the rajma into porridge. Call me when I am not busy!"

“Click”

“Happy Mother’s Day Mom! Thank God and YOU for making me Emotional Atyachaar proof.”

I was getting late. The bus driver had scowled and told me to be on time. Maa, had been taking a longer time than usual.

Me: Maa, deri hocche! (Maa, it's getting late!)

Maa: Dara shona, dui minute! (Wait my dear, coming in two minutes)

"I snarled. When will Maa understand the deliquescent nature of my work! I am not her darling little girl anymore. I have a boss to answer. She just does not understand! This is not the first time! She always keeps calling me from the back, making me sip coconut water or chai, eating marie biscuits or toasts.If I am hungry, I'll eat! Why does she have to make a scene all the time!"

I begin to leave, just like every other day. But it isn't like any other ordinary day.

I sighed as I came back to my senses. Maa had passed away two days back, peacefully in her sleep.I'd been out for work, while she'd probably expected me to be there, holding her hand. She'd always taken care of me, but I could not. Now she won't be running behind me to grab a bite before I leave or come scurrying down the stairs when I come back. As I lock the door, I miss the scent of the incense sticks she light early morning and her sweet humming. You were right Maa, I never grew up. I wish I never grew up, for I remembered being everything; everything else except your little daughter. Will she ever forgive me?She will, I think, for she had a heart of gold. A mother's heart.

It was a busy Monday morning, I was busy packing lunch and helping Amma wrap up kitchen work so that both of us could leave the house by 9 and not get late to work. Just when I was cleaning the place, she glanced at my bag – a very pretty cloth bag with floral designs on it. Amma: Why are you carrying that *vegetable shopping* bag to office?Me: Just like that, I wanted a change.She thought for a couple of seconds and then said, “If you leave your apartment behind, I’ll give you my new handbag.” Me: Apartment? Amma: yeah, all those unnecessary things you carry in your bag, they just add onto extra weight.I was part listening, part lost in my own world, when she uttered this; “I think you should do the same with your life” It sounded very cryptic and I dint have that kind of mental peace to decipher it. I brushed it away saying, you seem to reading through a lot of Paulo Coelho Status on Facebook.I was thinking about it on my way to work and suddenly it made perfect sense; I was carrying excess baggage not only in my bag, but the same applied to my head. There were too many things grabbing my attention at the same time leaving me baffled. I had to learn to let go and get my head sorted.That’s just once instance. The other day I was telling her that I’ve lost faith in the system, and I don’t really feel positive about my life. The talk veered towards boy-hunting and I told her I had actually lost hope of finding the one. That’s when she asked me if I had read Lochinvar by Sir Walter Scott. According to her interpretation – one fine day there will be a God-Awesome boy who will simply sweep me off my feet and take me away. Her undying optimism is something that I’d like to imbibe and I’m very amazed that she can never really think negative no matter how trying the situation is.If there’s another piece of advice I’ve received innumerable times over the years is that; the one above us has a plan for all of us. She firmly believes that no matter what happens, one fine day every single piece in the jigsaw puzzle of life would fall into place and it would be picture perfect. Truth to be told, I live by the same faith. To Amma, for being my Idol, Rockstar and Goddess! I love Amma and I really wish 25yrs down the line I have a couple of kids who would talk the same way about me. I’d run of out words if I had to write or tell you how much you mean to me.

The sun rose up bringing brightness all around. My mom woke up along with him, to make sure everything was in place for everyone. This was the busiest part of the day for her. She had to make sure to cook food, then wake up my dad, get everything ready for him. Then wake up my brother, get everything ready for him, as my dad leaves and then wake me up as my brother leaves. There wasn't rest for her, until all of us left to our Office, College and School.

I was just 6 then, and hence I used to come early. That day my mom took me out to grocery shopping with her. She had never ever taken me to do that, and I was really excited. We went to a nearby bazaar and were buying all the stuff. That time I saw a small red box, which is usually used to keep kumkum and all. I asked my mom to get it for me, but she didn't. I begged her and started crying, but she asked me to be quiet and told me that it was a waste of money.

But, my desire to have it didn't leave. Hence, I went and took it without permission and put it in my pocket. I didn't tell anyone about it. We finished our shopping and went back right home. When my mom was removing my sweater, she found that I had something in my pocket and she saw that it was the red box.

She knew I had stolen it, but she didn't hit me or scold me. She just put my sweater back on, got ready and took me right back to the store. Once there, she kept the box in my hand, and said, "Taking something without someone's permission is bad. Wouldn't you feel bad if someone took your toys and left? This is that uncle's toy. See he is so sad".

I looked at the uncle, he was sad. I felt really bad. I wouldn't like it if someone took my toys and left. I went to him, and held his hand, which made him look down at me. He saw me, smiled and asked, "What do you want putty?"

I held out the my hand, and showed him the box. He asked, "You wan't this box, eh?"I shook my head and said, "Uncle I took your toy without permission. I'm really sorry, I won't do it again. Please don't be sad".

At that time, he looked up at my mom, and understood everything. He smiled and said, Its okay dear. Good that you told me, see now I'm not sad. Now, for being such a good girl and accepting your mistake, you can have my toy".

I looked at my mom, she smiled but she didn't tell me if I should take it or not. She wanted me to make the choice. She wanted to know, what I will do. I looked at the box in my hand, it was very appealing to me. I wanted to have it badly.

I stared at it for 5 minutes, then held out my hand and gave the box to the uncle saying, "Uncle, this is your toy, I can't take it. Please take it".

He was shocked, he had never expected to hear this. I looked at my mom, she was happy. I had made the right choice. I ran back to her and she picked me up giving me a tight hug.

She planted a soft kiss on my cheek and brought me back home. She was really proud of me and hence pampered me with nice food.

Next morning when I woke up, and went to brush my teeth, I saw the red box there. I took it in my hand and ran to my mom, she smiled at me and said, "That's for being a good girl".

That's the way my mom is, that is how she brought me up. She never scolded me or hit me, but always taught me with love and care. I just want to look after her the same way when she gets old, and more than anything, I want my kids to grow up in the same way. The same way my mom brought me up.

I love you mom, for being the sweetest and the most inspirational person on earth.You are the best <3

I see no reason, why mothers day has to be celebrated on a particular day.

Isn’t everyday a mother’s day? Do mothers stop being mothers on other days?

Well I guess, its too late to discuss it now :)

Every day is a Mothers day

The celebrations and mentions of mothers all around, accidentally reminded me of my mother (yea almost accidentally, coz I was never close to her).

As a teen, I was always close to my dad. Mum always remarked, we were the same breed – selfish and arrogant (and ungrateful too, but she never said that).

And I used to take proud in being so, I was daddy’s girl, spoilt and happy !!

She was the one, who wasn’t very well-educated and married off at a tender age. I know it wasn’t her fault, but that always made me look down upon her as a parent who wasn’t contributing to her child’s studies. Although she was the best at whatever she did.

Her primary function being, cooking and taking care of her family with three kids. She was always over-powered and over-shadowed by her husband (my dad), and I never realised she was being neglected. She had never complained.

She couldn’t help us to study, but took care that we finished our homework on time, submitted our projects, arranged our bags, learnt our lessons for the test, ate well and slept on time. Nothing had deterred her dedication as a loving mother who never expected anything in return. Anything she said in terms of discipline was counted as nagging.

Fast forward to present, when I am a mother myself, I realise how wrong I had been.

Although she had never sat down to teach me how to do a tricky calculation, she taught me the lessons of life. She taught me how could I be a good mother to my kids.

The dedication I possess is only a fraction of hers and I still have a long way to go. The thing that troubles me is that I could never really thank her for whatever she had done for me, may be due to my ignorance then. Neither did she expect me to do so, nor was I mature enough that time to express it. May be there was a communication gap.

She was sure the back bone of the family. If it wasn’t her perseverance, dad would not have been able to focus the way he did on building our careers. Just because he was more vocal and expressive, and she was reserved and submissive, he got more of the spotlight.

As a mother myself now, I always take care my kids talk enough to me. I try to be their friend in deeds and needs both. And it pains sometimes to see how they consider the disciplinary issues as a usual nagging of mothers.

I feel its kinda tit for tat for me I never ignore it though. At times I try to change myself, and at other times try to mould them into a more decent behaviour (which isn’t easy of course)

When I look back, I realise, mum was always there with me. Not even once had she left my side or stopped loving me. Be it my first day to the school, my board examinations, my first periods, or the birth of my children. She was a support and a pillar of strength for me.

Only if she could read this post, or I gather enough courage to go up to her, hug her and say – Sorry mum, I underestimated you………..

It’s difficult to actually describe her in wordsAs dedicated as a teacher and as independent as birdsFrom morning to noon and noon to nightshe has taken care of all our fights!

From the day I was born to the day I will liveShe has always followed the philosophy of ‘Give’Never has she desired anything other than joyeven those, solely for her girl and her boy.

Her wants and desires were last and the least..all her prayers centered on protecting us from the beast.All our sorrows always evaporated, and we did not wherewe even didn’t know that they were deposited in her share.

We are her stars, we are her lifeshe even considered mother above 'The Wife'.to see a smile on whose faces she worked day and nightbalancing those spectacles and her week eye sight

When I studied in the night ,I wasn’t alone everthere was always that hand guiding me foreverhappy for my success and sad when I failedshe never showed her tears but alone she wailed.

The woman who requires a special mention of praisethose silent eyes, peaceful mind and loving gazeThis is to the woman I love, admire and respectwhose dedication even the almighty cant suspectto the world she may be just another,but to me she is the one I call MY MOTHER!!!

I have learned all this and much more from mother. The most important keeping your children as per your first priority but balance your professional growth with it. I hope that I am able to do the same for my children one day :)

My mother is house-wife. She had this craze for novels and read them in one stretch without eating, sleeping and nothings goes into her head, even a bell or phone ringing. She expects things to be in order and hates people who disturb her routine or sleep for that matter. But she did change a lot just bring her children up.

When I was in school:

I had a friend who was physically challenged. Nobody sat next to him, as he always used to hit or pinch our classmates. My mom simply asked me to sit next to him. she said,” He would become your best friend”. Later it did happen that we (me and him) sat together for following many years and became the best friends. She taught me to overlook the indifference and just look at the best to be gained with patience.

When I was a teenager:

Whenever I had a new crush in school, my mom could find out easily. But she never stopped me from talking to the person. I was really surprised. One day, when I was lying next to her on bed, she said,” do you know what, there is lots of option”. I got confused at her blank statement. She stated,” when you are in school, you find some boy really interesting and think that’s love. But when you go to your junior college, you will find someone more interesting, college you might think that you have found your true love. When you are working you will say, where was this person all my life?. “.

She was telling me not to get fixed to one guy, but to keep my options open.

She was true. My crush list did change often.

When I went to college:

She became my best friend. She wrote all the cinema theaters in a piece of paper and the bus routes with bus number written them. She said,” you can go for movie any time you want to. May be because of that, I never went for a movie during my first year of college; as I felt I had permission to do it, I can go any time.

I learnt giving freedom is too a way of controlling unwanted behaviors.

When I went to office:

I used be really nervous when I went for my first job, She said,” don’t panic, this is not end of life, you have many more job opportunities outside and nobody can stop you from giving the best”.

I learnt to work without expectation but looked for satisfaction.

When I got married:

She said,” It is not necessary to extend pain. When you know that a relation doesn’t work, you have all right to walk out of it.”She gave me hint that it was not easy to be in a relation with a person for long. There is always a give and take. It depends on me, how I look at it.

When I had my first kid:

She just smiled and said,” you will grow with the baby”.

So I will learn to be good mom, as when the situation and needs demand. It does take time.

I am still learning, this learning is not by force but by choice. I would cherish this life long and surely would modify to fir my daughter and use it on her. This post is small to explain her capabilities and services to us, it can never be repaid. I love you mom.