I only discovered this when I was around 20. I am 27 now and I have been attracted to them since. It most likely has to do with the abuse, but it's nothing negative to me, I like being attracted to them. It's hard for me to relate to girls my age, many of them are in relationships, married, with kids, plus the fact that I have social anxiety and only attracted to them a little physically. I never got to developed good social skills, being able to talk in front of people, especially talking to girls, I guess I just want to be a teenager again so I will be able to change the past (not talking about the abuse), talking about social anxiety, I wouldn't mind remaining that age forever, 11-17. I would choose having an innocent crush of a girl who is a preteen over being in a sexual relationship with a women any time. When I look back, I feel like I was attracted to younger girls since high school, I just didn't realize it then.

BTW, I never did anything inappropriate, it's only being attracted to them, mentally and physically I can relate to them more.

I sincerely hope you are seeing a therapist. Although I commend you for being honest, I think this problem is beyond the scope of this forum. yes you are a survivor, and a lot of issues are associated with it. this revelation risks to trigger a lot of survivors in here. Being attracted mentally and physically to prepubescent girls is highly innapropriate and disturbing. your best bet is to seek therapy .

Good luck

_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand. E. E. Hale

DH,I will agree it is a trigger to others here but I'm not saying your not welcome here. There are resources out there for you and I hope you are able to utilize them. All of us need help to overcome what was done to us. There is a website that comes to mind that might be of great help to you. I hope this helps you.

I think that a lot of guys, CSA survivors, are locked into childhood emotional systems. Abuse tends to lock us into a child-like state. They have never grown up. Peter Pan syndrome. So they keep going through emotional reactions they might have had as kids. But since they can't grow up emotionally without some good counseling, they keep on having those boy-hood emotions over and over again. If they would have been attracted to young girls then, they keep going through it over and over again. Just like a merry-go-round. They never grow up - emotionally.

it would be great to be a kid or teenager forever, I can't relate to people my age, I hate being this age, it's like I lost my true self and now I'm stuck in this adult body while my mind remains in the past, I never developed the appropriate social skills to approach females, especially in a romantic way, I have social anxiety, in order to change this I will have to time travel and not isolate myself, not avoid social situations, guys my age are light years ahead of me with girls,

I wasn't even able to talk to a female relative I've known since the age of 6, I would see her once a week at church, at 19 I talked to her and it was hard for me to do it, it was an awkward situation, she heard me talk, a real conversation with me and her, not just the regular, short "Hi" talk we had.

My head is still clearing from childhood stuff. I was talking to someone the other day and afterward it occurred to me that my thought structure was childish (12). I don't think the pitch of my voice was childish, although I've heard that in others.

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