Keep holding on to what you love & enjoy the ride of life

Category Archives: My Little Diary

“But if you tame me, then weshall need each other.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

… and you did.

Nothing is easy. And becoming friends with the talented person you are is a path full of pitfalls ^^!!! Not very cool things happen, but I’ll get over it, I’m hopelessly hopeful ^^! Some people just don’t know what they’re doing and how they’re affecting people, and they don’t really care as they don’t know them… But listen… all these little and almost insignificant rocks on the road won’t wrecked my hopes. I’ve already written it, probably several times, and I’m writing it again: when two people are meant to become friends, no matter what’s gonna rise up against them, whether it is time, distance or whatsoever, they will eventually find a way to find each other again!

We’re different, that’s true! But what’s that?! An excuse?! We are special and different, and most of all… just the same too! We are humans before anything else in this world! Many people tend to think they are defined by what they’re doing for a living, but that’s just a characteristic of a person! People are defined by who they are inside, by their values, by their soul!

And YOU mate, you have a beautiful and kind soul, one of the most gentle I’ve ever known! If I could give you only one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realise how special you are to me. All around you there are people who are hurting, people who need your love, people who need your encouragement. So let God use your gifts and talents to bless them… Because they blessed me first 🙂 You might not know it at all, but you have been one of the first & only persons, who helped me write again and be more confident about my writing. I’ve come quite a long way since I met you… I got to know myself a bit better when it comes to what I needed to do to be happy… and writing is one of those things ;)! So I simply want to say THANK YOU for being kind of a salvation to me…

“I’m small, I’m young – and I’m so different. You’ve always respected that difference, and you’ve always trusted it. Trust me now. There’s a reason I am the way I am, and there’s a reason I was lead to you. There’s always a reason.” ― Dean Koontz, Relentless

I don’t want anything I said or wrote to seem like a farewell, because nothing’s a farewell. Farewell is when there’s nothing else anymore, farewell is when even hope is gone! And you can trust me on that matter because, as Waterschoot once wrote, “I will never give up, just push harder because the thought of quitting is far worse than the temporary pain I’m feeling now”. I will always keep you with me, somewhere here, safe in my heart, you’ll be always on my mind, and this until we meet again… and we will (HOPE is my only motto! :p).

Oh my gosh! Time flies so quickly! I’m turning 19 today and I almost feel like I turned 18 yesterday whereas it was… well, a year ago :p! I must say that it’s quite a weird thing to think that it’s actually my last “teen” year, before the “big” 20, but that’s alright, that’s just the way things are supposed to happen, isn’t i?! ^^

And I don’t know about you, but every year, for every single birthday, I’ve got kind of a flashback of all these past years that makes me realise how lucky I am! Because even though it’s true to say that my family can’t really be granted this beautiful word that is “a family”, I feel extremely lucky when I think of my friends… whether they are the good old friends I’ve known like… forever or the ones I’ve met more recently! They’re all so very important to me, they are people as sweet as honey who managed to leave some of their sticky sweetness in my life, but above all… in my heart ❤!

I wish I could have spent this B-day with both English and French friends, so I’m not dedicating this post to myself (though it’s my birthday), but to these amazing people… all of them, whether they are British, French, Dutch or Australian! They all mean so much to me and they all have such a big part of my heart, that I honestly don’t really care where I’ll spend my birthday, because I know that whether it’s here or there, they’re in my heart… so wherever I might celebrate turning a year older, they’ll be with me and this is all that TRULY matters!

“There is a primal reassurance in being touched, in knowing that someone else, someone close to you, wants to be touching you. There is a bone-deep security that goes with the brush of a human hand, a silent, reflex-level affirmation that someone is near, that someone cares.”― Jim Butcher, White Night

YOU I met not a long ago, YOU who touched my soul, who touched my heart, YOU who reassured me, who made me feel safe, YOU who helped me (even unconsciously) find my smile back, YOU again who showed me the bright side of life when I needed it most, YOU who opened me a door to a new beginning, so to YOU… I simply want to say… I care about YOU.

Whatever brought YOU in my life, whatever it was, it was Heaven-blessed! And as one of my favourite songs tells it so well… “The skies began to clear and I was at rest”. Your only breath took me back home, a home that is not that far from my homeland, but which seems miles away when I’m far from YOU and the others…

I am totally aware that my words here might not be enough to make YOU feel how much I care, but as I also know words are not just words to YOU, I will count on them now until I get to see YOU again…

“A friendship that is Meant to be, is filled with things they mean to say.” ― Grant Vann

And I hope… I truly hope, from the bottom of my heart, that I will see you again very soon… but I’m scared. I’m scared to hear you say you can’t, you’re not free that day or whatsoever, I’m scared to hear or read the impossibility of a new reunion. So please, please because I don’t think I would survive it (again), because it would make me sad, it would make me cry, please… please, don’t say no.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Do YOU realise that because I’ve met YOU, YOU are not only a part of my life… but a part of me?! And that for this very special reason, I can’t totally be me, I can’t fully live this life YOU have introduced me to, if YOU are not, even a little, around me ?!

I will finish with what Marissa Mayer once wrote… “You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you.” and because I care about YOU, because I hold YOU dear & because YOU matter a lot to me, I don’t fret as easily as I used to… I know I’ll meet YOU again and I know everything’s gonna be alright!

I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer.At night I fell asleep with visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying with them.Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour, and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times.I was a singer – not a very popular one,I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I’d been living, they asked me why – but there’s no use in talking to people who have home.They have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people – for home to be wherever you lay your head.

I am dedicating this post to the adorable people I met in England & I view as my friends today, to Caroline Behan (the funny, faithful and true friend), Becky Murray (the very supportive and sweet but slightly crazy friend), Laura Payne (the thoughtful friend and one of the nicest girls on earth), Jamie Ward (the sensitive “gangsta” & big brother friend) and Melody Wilson (the popular girl… but the nice one ^^ ! #haha).

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” – C. Joybell C.

Strength & Love… that’s what a new beginning usually brings back into your life! It starts with a smile, a hello, a simple name or just a door that is held. In fact, it starts when you meet THOSE people! It starts when you feel like you’re home when you look THEM in the eyes…

And there is ONE thing you feel… You feel butterflies! You feel butterflies in your stomach, you feel like everything has changed in a burst of light and after a while (and that’s precisely where I am now!) you feel like you just wanna know THEM better, because they are the people who made your heart beat again, the people who showed you, proved you there was hope when everything was dark around you (or at least not very bright :p!). Lisi Harrison once wrote “It was an image I would never forget. Or was it the emotions the image conjured – hope, excitement, and fear of the unknown, all three tightly braided together, creating a fourth emotion that was impossible to define. It was getting a second chance at happiness and it tickled like swallowing fifty fuzzy caterpillars.” That’s how I felt when I met them… It’s a bit like welcoming the new year, full of unknown and exciting things that have never been.

You can start so many things with new friends! They have a picture of you that is so pure and new and fresh! My new friends don’t see the girl I used to be because I don’t want them to see her, I don’t want them to see the depressed, insecure and quite fragile girl I was… I don’t want that because this girl doesn’t really exist anymore, she got rid of all her burdens and she’s more than ever ready to move on! There is nonetheless Carl Bard who reminds this: “Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” So in short, it’s all about second chances… And because these people I’ve quoted at the beginning showed me a whole new world, a world where there’s more happiness I’ve never thought there could be, because they maybe unconsciously offered me this second chance, and because they are also giving me the perspective of another ending (an happier one!); for all these reasons, you’ll probably better understand why I can’t go back to where & who I used to be, why I can’t live the rest of my life in France and become the girl I was again (I love my homeland, my friends and my family… this has nothing to do with them in particular, but with the situation some of them created).

So all I’m gonna do now is not count the days, hours, minutes and seconds that separate me from England, from the hearts of my friends, well from home actually (because you know your home is, above all, in the hearts of the people you love and who love you!), BUT I’m gonna make every day, every hour, every minute and every second I’ll spend with THEM count! It’s been a too long time now I’m living like I’m not alive that I am NOT not going to take every opportunity to start over and finally live the way I’m supposed to (if this makes any sense?! )!

I will simply finish this post with a quote of Roman Payne, once more witnessing how travelling help you realise where & who you belong with…

“Cities were always like people, showing their varying personalities to the traveller. Depending on the city and on the traveller, there might begin a mutual love, or dislike, friendship, or enmity. Where one city will rise a certain individual to glory, it will destroy another who is not suited to its personality. Only through travel can we know where we belong or not, where we are loved and where we are rejected.”

Everything’s pretty clear to me now! I’ve found my safe place… in England, a place where I feel at ease. I’ve met a lovely bunch of people I now consider home (yes I’m talking about you who saw their names coloured in orange at the beginning of this article :p !!! ^^). In fact, I’ve found those people and that place, giving me that happy-cry feeling! And honestly, aren’t those things some of the most important things there are in life?!

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people, and finally I did on the open road.We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art.Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.I believe in the person I want to become.I believe in the freedom of the open road.And my motto is the same as ever:“I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself I ride, I just ride.”

Post navigation

Hello you! :) Welcome to my blog!
I'm Marie, a 19-year-old Frenchie, who left her heart in London ❤ Studying foreign languages and in love with the culture of the English-speaking world, addict to every little thing of life & lifestyle blogger since 2013!
Over here, you'll find almost everything of my little life... from some pages of my diary to my big crushes in the fashion, literary, culinary & travel areas (and all the other fields of a girl's life ^^)
Enjoy your little trip in my (pretty girly) universe! Have a nice reading, and please do not hesitate to contact me, whether via email, Facebook, Twitter, or even through Instagram!
xoxo