Brody Micah Whitsel has changed our lives. Diagnosed with anencephaly at 20 weeks and learning that he wouldn't live past birth was devastating. As we have chosen to carry him to term, due Feb 2014, I've learned a lot, and I've learned I love to write. Hopefully my feeble words and grammatical errors will contain words of hope, inspiration, and comfort for all who suffer. May it all point to the One who offers us LIFE through His grace.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

anniversary

Wednesdays. It was a Wednesday, five weeks ago now, that we
started our new “normal”. Baby Brody Micah became ever so precious to us in
these days in the womb. Every Wednesday since then has been rough for me, for
us both. But today is our anniversary! I think back to how God brought me home
from France, led me to First Baptist Church (thank you Harvey and Juli!), and
allowed me to meet this wonderful man, Jeremiah. “Want to come play soccer with
us?” “Want to be on my volleyball team?” “What are you doing for lunch today?” A few questions that he asked that led us to
a wonderful friendship and soon deep love. Ours was a “quick” romance in the
eyes of some. Started dating March 2013, engaged July 2010, married November
2010! When you know… :)

We’ve had our share of joys and pains… especially this year.
The morning we were leaving for the airport to go to France I was so excited to
return to my second home and family and even more excited to introduce them all
to Miah. However, I was preoccupied. Even with the pressure of getting ready on
time and making sure we had everything packed, “do you have the passports?!” I
knew I needed to take a minute to take a test. Positive! Wait… let’s take
another… positive! Hmm… how bout one more… positive! I left the three pregnancy
strips on the counter and hopped in the shower. Could it really be true? I
mean, surely three tests says it all! A few tears escaped my eyes and mixed
with the hot water and soap, it felt surreal. Shower done and Miah gets up. He
looks at the counter and we say nothing. He looks at me in disbelief – no really,
he really didn’t believe it! We were told our odds were so little and I think
he just couldn’t let his heart go there yet.

We called the doctor’s office from the airport to make an
appointment for the day after we got home. The entire trip, though it was
wonderful, I was distracted. We felt so blessed to be there and yet an urgency
to get home and get the blood test to find out “for sure”. And it was! My sweet
nurse practitioner came back in the exam room, knowing our desires and
difficulties, and with a big smile and hand shake said “congratulations!!!” The days that followed were a blur of
excitement and surrealism.

Today, I still feel that sense of surrealism. There is a
little life inside of me. God placed him there and breathed him into existence –
knowing his form before the foundations of the earth. Yes, He knew his form
would include Anencephaly. He knew he would not survive. He knew how we would
struggle and suffer. He knew how this seeming tragedy could be used for such a
greater good.

So today Jeremiah on this anniversary, a Wednesday, I
celebrate life. I celebrate yours and how God grew you into the man you are
today. I celebrate mine and how He made me who I am and brought me to you at
the right time. I celebrate Brody’s and how his short months safe in my womb
will make a greater impact on the world than perhaps you or I could ever hope
for from our own lives. And most importantly I celebrate Christ, whose life and
death and resurrection brought hope to a dying world, joy to those who suffer, and
light to every dark Wednesday.