58 mindful December 2014
Working faster, smarter,
cheaper is good business.
But how do we also keep our
collective sanity intact along
the way?
At Work
Michael Carroll worked for over two
decades on Wall Street and in the
publishing industry. He is now a
business coach and author of Awake
at Work. He is a regular contributor to
Mindful’s At Work advice column.
Work seems to have only one agenda: suc-
cess. We work to achieve results and in turn
get rewarded. Pretty straightfor wa rd.
But work, like all of life, is never so sim-
ple. If we examine our pursuit of success
we’ll notice it always comes with another
agenda: a need for emotional well-being.
Too often, we ignore this “well-being
agenda” a nd the results can be disturbing:
50% of us say we were insulted at work
within the last 24 hours, often by our
bosses. 40% worr y about being mistreated.
Many switch jobs because of such work-
place incivility.
The result: We may be getting the job
done but too often we go home feeling mis-
treated, demoralized, and fr ustrated. Our
at-work relationships are sub-pa r at best.
Enterprises that attend to both success
and emotional well-being tend to foster
truly distinctive and inspiring cultures.
And when we witness such health and
well-being we know it. Whether it’s
being ser ved coffee at Starbucks, receiv-
ing packages from a UPS tr uck driver, or
co-developing new products with Proctor
& Gamble, when human hearts are aligned
with work, success is both a challenge a nd
a joy. And the best place to start is to work
with the conflicts that arise in our own
relationships at work.
Practice
DE-TOXIFYING CONFLICTS
1. Recognize the challenge
We can unwittingly confuse
an emotional agenda with the
issues at hand. Be clear about
the actual work challenge so
you can actively focus on the
need for emotional well-being.
CASE: Your employee, John,
is upset that management put
his plan on hold.
2. Attune to the “emotional
agenda” and model
emotional well-being
Acknowledge what the person
feels. Listen unconditionally.
Appreciate their aspirations
and concerns.
”John, you worked hard on
that plan, it took guts, and it
hur ts to have it sidelined.”
3. Reframe problems
constructively
Negative emotions can trans-
form simple problems into
threats; challenges into ordeals.
Invite people’s creativity to
reshape challenges, redefine
goals, rethink roadblocks, and
generally place problems in
constructive frames.
“I’m not sure you should give
up on this project so quickly.
There’s lots to learn here. Have
you thought of a thorough
‘debrief’ of the plan? Good
ideas could come out.”
4. Set a tone for future
collaboration
Finally, make working construc-
tively together more likely in the
future.
“ While this has been tough
news, John, I appreciate our
work together and want you to
know you can count on me in
the future.
getting started: relationships