Back Talk is created from messages recorded on an anonymous call-in line or submitted anonymously through the Internet. Anecdotally, the contributors are generally cranky senior citizens from Lowell and nearby towns who have had it UP TO HERE with you kids and your damned shenanigans.

We’ve continued to monitor this clearinghouse of elder rage, selecting the best entries for your enjoyment. This time around, infuriating subjects include President Obama, welfare recipients, boom boxes, dog poop, President Obama, multiculturalism, light prison sentences, and President Obama.

KIDS STUFF: What’s up with all these grownups on bicycles? It’s dangerous! At least bring back the bells.

GREEN WAY: Save the plywood! Save the trees! Go with the Crestgate system; what’s the matter with these tree- huggers; don’t they know plywood is made out of trees?

TURNOFF: Why does Comcast charge me for 22 Spanish channels? I am not Spanish! And what about all the shows that sell stuff? I buy stuff from stores. Why am I paying for this?

LIFE IS GOOD: Welfare was the worst thing you people ever did. These people ride around in Lexuses, eat much better than I do, buy lottery tickets and have babies.

DUBIOUS DISTINCTION: There’s a new breed out there: proud single father. What’s next?

SINKING FEELING: I was watching the movie Titanic and I don’t believe some of the things that went on. If this was true, how could anyone be so cruel? I hope the survivors took them to court or did something.

HOLLYWOOD HYPE: I just finished watching War Horse. This movie did not deserve an Academy Award. Editor’s note: War Horse won no Academy Awards.

Didn’t deserve the Academy Award that it didn’t win.

ROLE REVERSAL: It’s a sad thing about what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, but I don’t think everyone would react this way if he were white.

TOO MUCH FOREIGN AID: $1.5 billion dollars to Egypt in foreign aid, and they’ve never joined us in any wars to help defend us? This needs to stop. Shame on our president.

SITTING TARGET: Is it my imagination, or does it seem like there are more vehicles hitting houses lately than ever before?

SWITCH ON THE JUICE: When are we going to become civilized and put these cold-blooded killers down? Stop supporting them for the rest of their lives!

VIEWER CRITIQUE: Looking back, television was clean and good. Today, it’s so filthy and serious. They should be ashamed.

LOUD AND CLEAR: To the “top three” leaders of Lowell: Stop these boom boxes!

DEAL-BREAKER: Plea deals should be abolished. It’s ridiculous how abused they are!

DRIVING TO DISTRACTION: These people should not be allowed to have cars; many of them can’t drive!

ALL THE FASHION: Bluejeans used to be worn by the poor, the hard working, and lower class; now, they’re worn by all the followers.

Follower!!!

BOMBS AWAY: With all the threats that are coming because of Osama bin Laden, we should send everything we have over there and level the place.

TOO MUCH GREEN: $14 million dollars to put the center of Billerica back to where it was seems incredulous to me. The custodians at the high school barely kept their jobs this year. It’s too much money.

CHOOSING FAVORITES: In this election year, who will be favored more — the returning people from Iraq or the illegal immigrants? Will it be like another Vietnam?

DOG ON THE JOB: I’ve noticed people get to take their dogs to work at the town hall in Chelmsford. I don’t think that’s very professional.

GET A JOB: I can’t believe these people are still protesting Wall Street. Some of them are sex offenders.

OFF THE DOLE: I hope the woman who won $700 from the lottery is taken off welfare and food stamps, unless of course she is of color and related to Barack Obama in some way!

OLD SCHOOL: I personally think that if you want to get married, you should have to take the man’s name. People just cheat the system that way.

INSULT TO INJURY: What can be done about all the barking dogs on Lamb Street? They are always pooping in our yard, too!

ALIEN NOTION: If you’re ready to vote for Obama, you must be an illegal immigrants, because that’s all he’s helping.

A fair and balanced portrayal.

NO LUCK: I’m disgusted with the Lottery. I never win anything no matter how long I play. It’s a joke. I never even get a dollar!

MELTING POT?: How much more are we going to be pushed to accept gay people, immigration and foreign languages? This is America, why are we being pushed to speak something that isn’t our language?

TV WASTELAND: What happened to the good days of television? Everything is so bad today.

SPANGLISH: We’re trying to teach our daughters to learn English and speak well. I am listening to what they’re watching right now, Dora the Explorer, and it’s all Spanish! No wonder why they’re confused.

SEND OUT THE SIGNAL: I hope the real Batman takes care of this movie-theatre psycho. He needs a lot more than a good butt-kicking.

SEEKING AN ORIGIN: Where are all these ideas coming to these people doing bad things?

Once again, our thanks go out to the Sun staffers who have to weed through the Back Talk submissions on a daily basis. I can’t even imagine what DOESN’T make the cut — and I have it from a good source that Lowell teens love to call this hotline and leave prank call messages. The Sun paper’s hard work and dedication rewards us daily with the delight that is Back Talk.

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