The Infinite Post-Menopausal Liberal Monkey Theorem…Part 1

If one million monkeys typing away for all eternity can type out the collected works of William Shakespeare, and five hundred thousand drunk monkeys typing away for five hundred years could turn out most everything written by Paul Krugman, then three post-menopausal liberal monkeys typing away for a week could turn out two Maureen Dowd columns for publication.

But I don’t think that even random typing post-menopausal liberal monkeys can come up with the sort of vile dreck that The New York Times is passing off as “opinion” by Dowd these days:

Surrounded by middle-aged white guys — a sepia snapshot of the days when such pols ran Washington like their own men’s club — Joe Wilson yelled “You lie!” at a president who didn’t.

But, fair or not, what I heard was an unspoken word in the air: You lie, boy!

What the Hell is that about Maureen?

If you’re hearing sounds that are not there, I suggest that perhaps it’s time to up the dosage of your estrogen replacement meds, and get your hearing aid checked. Don’t put words in other people’s mouths in order to accuse them of something they didn’t do.

The president misstated a few details on the proposed “public option”:

Obama: It would only be an option for those who don’t have insurance. No one would be forced to choose it, and it would not impact those of you who already have insurance.

In fact, under the House bill, the new federal plan would be open to anybody who buys insurance on his or her own, whether or not the person currently has coverage. It also would be open to employees of small businesses, defined in the House bill as those with no more than 20 employees, whether or not those employees are currently covered by another plan. It’s true that the “public option” is aimed at the uninsured, but they wouldn’t be the “only” ones who could buy it.

Maureen could question the accuracy and political leanings of factcheck.org, but then again, this is the same outfit that is swearing to the validity of Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate, so I wouldn’t actually mind if she did.

Obama also lied about the plan covering illegal aliens, which is why Joe Wilson called him out:

Obama: There are also those who claim that our reform effort will insure illegal immigrants. This, too, is false – the reforms I’m proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally.

Let’s set aside the lack of specific verification mechanism in the bill itself, the fact that the Democrat-controlled Ways and Means Committee twice voted down amendments designed to limit the plan’s availability to illegal aliens, let’s ignore that up until Monday’s speech Obama’s figure of the uninsured in America included illegal aliens, and let’s not pay attention to the fact that Federal law already guarantees medical treatment to illegal aliens, and consider this instead:

A mere forty eight hours after Joe Wilson’s outburst, the White House asked Congress to include verification of legal immigration status in the bill. That means that Joe Wilson was right, Obama lied.

Then again, as we heard from Andrew Napolitano, the Courts will overturn the language…certainly the wise Latino woman vote will fall in favor of overturning it.

Obama lied many times in his speech, including abortions not being paid by this plan:

Obama: [U]nder our plan, no federal dollars will be used to fund abortions.

Factcheck.org again on this “misrepresentation” of the facts by Obama:

Actually, as we’ve written before, under Democratic legislation now before Congress, the “public option” would cover abortions in cases of rape, incest or threat to the life of the mother and could cover all abortions if the administration chooses, and as Obama once promised.

“As Obama once promised”?

Obama, July 17, 2007: We’re going to set up a public plan that all persons and all women can access if they don’t have health insurance. It will be a plan that will provide all essential services, including reproductive services, as well as mental health services and disease management services, because part of our interest is to make sure that we’re putting more money into preventive care.

“Reproductive services” of course being leftybonics for abortions.

So, in this specific case, we just have to figure our whether Obama lied in 2007 to get support for his upcoming candidacy, or whether he lied to Congress this past Monday in an attempt to get support for his failing health care initiative.

Maueen Dowd wants to redirect the debate away from whether or not Obama lied (he did…several times), by raising the ugly spectrum of racism.

I’ve been loath to admit that the shrieking lunacy of the summer — the frantic efforts to paint our first black president as the Other, a foreigner, socialist, fascist, Marxist, racist, Commie, Nazi; a cad who would snuff old people; a snake who would indoctrinate kids — had much to do with race.

“Loath to admit” my ass Maureen, you are reveling in the pig slop of race and class warfare, trying to paint everyone who opposes the President’s policies as an ignorant, racist fear monger, but it isn’t working. From the looks of the crowds at the National Mall on 9/12, the every day American is getting fed up with being painted as a racist ignoramus opposing the President’s policies NOT out of an honest rejection of Socialism, but as a reaction to the color of his skin.

Now, that amorphous, undefined political mass known as the “undecided voter” is stirring, questioning their choice at the polling booth in 2008. They are seeing their friends and neighbors, the decent people across the street, their relatives, their co-workers, being vilified by the likes of Pelosi, Reid, and post-menopausal liberal monkey typists like Dowd, and they are standing up.

And when they finally say “enough”, three post-menopausal liberal monkeys typing will have more of a chance at getting their random efforts published, than Maureen Dowd ever will again.

Then again…we are talking about The New York Times, the best known protected habitat for Post-Menopausal Liberal Monkeys in the world today, so they will probably survive the oncoming wave of repulsion, and eventually type out The Bard’s collected works.

That makes as much sense as the idea of one typing monkey putting out “The Tempest” or “The Merchant of Venice” in their lifetime. But we’d forgive a monkey for a bit of plagiarism…after all, it IS a monkey.