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The other day I was sat in the park with the toddler, watching him fill his shoes with sand, and I noticed another mum sat by herself with a her pram next to her.

They had just finished the universal please-go-to-sleep-buggy-rock and had this glorious look on their face; like they were winning.

Baby was either sleeping or going to asleep and mum had a hot drink in their hand.

Out of nowhere though, a group joined.

Friends? Colleagues? Family? Who knows.

But they very quickly broke the silence.

Not that my toddler wasn’t doing that already.

I drifted away and carried on playing with the toddler, but then I heard it.

‘I’m still walking like I’ve ridden a horse’ (Picture: Getty)

Are you ‘enjoying’ motherhood?

I looked round.

Her face suddenly changed.

It changed from a very natural smile to an unnatural one.

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I then switched off again.

See, thanks to glossy adverts of mummies and daddies with their pearly whites and clean hair, cooing and smiling over their rather clean baby on a changing mat that barely looks used, it’s implied that we should be that happy.

We should be that image.

That we should be ‘enjoying‘ ourselves.

That the answer to that question should be ‘Yes‘.

‘My nipples are sore’ (Picture: Getty)

No.

We don’t. Not all the time, anyway.

Sure there are plenty, if not dozens of moments when we do feel deep joy and happiness.

But certainly in the first few weeks, for me anyway, all I wanted to say was: ‘Actually, no. I’m not enjoying ‘it’.

‘I’m still walking like I’ve ridden a horse, my nipples are sore, I feel dirty, and my wife and I haven’t slept in what feels like years.

‘This sucks.’

But instead, we go into auto-pilot and nod our heads like a nodding dog – stating how joyful and precious it all is.

Let me tell you something, it’s OK to feel like that.

It doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for your children.

But why can’t we just say it?

‘We can’t remember what sleep feels like’ (Picture: Getty)

It’s not like we’re not the only ones thinking it, and yet there is such stigma attached to being honest about not being OK.

Thanks to those adverts.

Thanks to those questions.

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So the next time you see a friend who’s recently started maternity or paternity leave, or a new parent happily sipping their first hot drink in a week – as long as they’re happy to have a chat – ask them how they are.