My story is about my past relationship that is quite hard to explain, but I will need to do it for you to understand the whole picture.

It was the biggest love of my (and his) life. (I’m not old haha, I’m 25)

We fell in love so deeply; we had so much passion; we were best friends; the connection was seriously so strong. We were together for four years. But we were also fighting so much and as strong as we were in love.

He was a very jealous guy, yet I was the one finding some questionable messages with girls now and then. We had a lot of problems with trust. People around us who know him would always claim that he was like that in past relationships. But he would always say that he is like that cause I give him motives to be jealous (I am a friendly person. I am talking to everyone cause I love people, but he would interpret it like flirting) we would fight because of other things, but I would say this was our biggest problem.

He broke up with me four times in a drama and a fight; he would leave, say it’s over, block me everywhere, and then a few months later we would start talking and makeup again, and always trying to be better THIS TIME. But eventually, after a few good months, things would go back to jealousy and fighting, and he would again leave like every other time.

This time we had a bigger break, this time when we made up it was a longer period of being all good, this time I thought it CAN be different. Even with the jealousy, I thought it a bit loosened up. But he started working a lot, he was then either nervous because of work, tired, or working. I constantly felt alone and neglected yet I wanted to be patient because I understand that working so much can be a b***h.

I had my place to live in, he, in the beginning, talked a lot about wanting to move in with me (cause he doesn’t like to live with his folks) so I wanted to make it happen. Why not, we are already some time together, we know what we want, we want to be together, so why not moving in with me. When it started happening, he said that it’s too early for him, started making excuses, told that he wants to sleep over and so on, which made me quite unhappy with him being unable to make a step forward but I was patient. He then fought with his folks at home and then he wanted to move in finally.

This part of the story is important because soon after he broke up cause I’m not giving him enough of his freedom and space. When he wasn’t working he never did anything with me, sometimes would rather go hang out with his boys than with me. It made me unhappy with everything. So I started going out with my friends, when his jealousy came out again, then we had a fight, and he left, again like always. My begging to meet and talk for two weeks after that didn’t work, he was acting like I’m garbage.

But a month later he sent me a message. Apologizing for “doing the same thing again but he was suffocating in everything that he didn’t have any choice.” At that point, I didn’t want to talk about anything or meet I just said ok thanks for the message. He wanted to meet; I didn’t. And again and again when I agreed to meet up. Well, I wanted to. We had an amazing time, laughing, talking, everything. Our emotions a bit came to the surface.

Then he wanted to come back, he said that he is sorry for the reaction, that if he can turn back time and not do it he would, that he felt so much about me and was thinking about me so much, and he wants to try again and thinks everything can always be different and better. It sounded so amazing to me. I love him; how could it not. But I couldn’t trust him anymore, with leaving me so many times when I needed him the most.

I lost my hope and trust that I would probably always be in fear of him leaving again in a blink of an eye. So I said no. And walked away. Which made me so sad, I was crying for days. It happened very recently, maybe two weeks ago. I am still in such a dilemma did I make the right decision and can it be better this time after four times of trying? Because of course, I miss him…and I think of him every day, and it’s so hard not to be sad and to let go. Do you think these things never change when it repeats so many times? He left me crushed. I need months and months to recover, and I don’t know what to think…this hurts, and I could use to talk to someone.

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through a horrible time. Relationships are hard, and they are not the fairy tale everyone says. People have a false perception “ I will be happy if I meet someone.” No that’s not right.

In my experience, a relationship made me feel worse in my day to day life. Yes, when the excitement was there, yes it’s a distraction, but after that has gone, I felt like a had a ball and chain attached to me. You shouldn’t ever try and change someone who is friendly; it is wrong. If are friendly that is a fantastic trait to have.

If you say it nothing they should except it is nothing. That’s a big reason why I finished one of my relationships. They tried to take one of the reasons why they liked me, away, this was being that I was friendly and when this didn’t suit them it wasn’t ok. Don’t let this happen. I think you were right to end things, yes questioning it is normal, but could you live with always wondering when he could act childish and do the same thing to you? Probably not.

I’m not saying you don’t have feelings, but I’m not sure he is Right for you. But you need to love you before you can be with someone again. A relationship shouldn’t define a person. When it is right, it is right thanks, Shev x

It was, perhaps, Einstein who said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly over and over while expecting different results. You need to work on you, not him or trying to fix the relationship. Four strikes and he’s out!

I do think you did the right thing. Just try to get over him, work on you better yourself up and do different things.

I feel as tho I been in the same boat as him, and he only tries to get you back when he misses you, but ain’t really in love with you, once his needs are meet he leaves you. I believe he hasn’t found other girl to be with otherwise he probably wouldn’t have come back to you. Just a thought, only you know your situation, I do hope you find peace.

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