"An act carried out with the intention of causing physical pain or injury to another person." Richard Gelles and Claire Pedrick Cornell.

Includes acts such as neglects and emotional abuse, including verbal abuse, that are not violent.

Common Couple Violence (situational couple violence)

Erupts during argument when one partner strikes the other in the heat of the moment. Rarely escalated. Just slightly more common form the man.

Intimate Terrorism

Relationship characterized by the desire of one partner to dominate and control the other. Violent episodes frequently escalate. Victims left demoralized and trapped. Almost always penetrated by the man. Most widely researched type.

Violent Resistance

Self defense. Most often perpetrated by the woman. Under research.

Mutual Violent Control

Both partners violently trying to control each other and the relationship. Rare and under researched.

Psychiatric Model

Finds the source of violence in the personality of the abuser. But only 10% of family violence attributable to psychiatric causes and about 25% of wife abuse associated with alcohol.

Ecological Model

Looks at the child's development in the family and the family's development in the community. Cultural support of physical force combines with lack of family support and other risk factors such as a child with special needs and high levels of family stress.

Feminist Model

Finds violence inherent in male-dominated societies; patriarchal roots of domestic relations must be taken into account.

Violence is seen as a behavior learned with in the family and larger society.

Resource Model

Assumes force is used to compensate for a lack of personal, social, and economic resources.

Echange/Social Control Model

holds that people weigh the costs versus the rewards in all their actions and will use violence if the costs are not high enough. Social controls (arrest, imprisonment, loss os status, loss of income) raise the costs of violence and will reduce its incidence.

One of the most serious, widespread, and overlooked forms of intimate violence.

A form of battering inflicted by husbands on wives, often as parts of a pattern of intimate terrorism.

Rape

unwanted sexual penetration, perpetrated by force, threat of harm, or when the victim is intoxicated

Date Rape (acquaintance rape)

sexual intercourse with a dating partner that occurs against his or her will with force or the threat of force

Learned Helplessness

Lenore Walker theorizes that a woman stays in a bettering relationship as a result of ______.

After being repeatedly battered, she develops a low self-concept and comes to feel that she cannot control the battering or the events that surround it.

Mandatory Arrest

discretion is removed from police officers responding to a call about intimate violence

"if an officer finds probable cause that a crime occurred, he or she must arrest"

No-drop Prosecution

compels prosecutors to proceed int he prosecution of an intimate violence case as long as evidence exists, regardless of a victim's expressed wishes

Battered Child Syndrome

describe the patterns of injuries commonly observed in physically abused children

Psychological Aggression

verbal attacks on children are so common as to be "just about universal"

Child Sexual Abuse

defined as any sexual interaction (including fondling, erotic kissing, or oral sex, as well as genital penetration) between an adult or older adolescent and a perpubertal child

Extrafamilial Sexual Abuse

is conducted by nonrelated individuals

Intrafamilial Abuse

is conducted by related individuals, including step relatives

Pedophilia

an intense, recurring sexual attraction to prepubescent children

Incest

is generally defined as sexual intercourse between people to closely related to marry legally (usually interpreted to mean father-daughter, mother-son, or brother-sister)

Traumatic Sexualization

the process in which a sexually abused child's sexuality develops inappropriately and the child becomes interpersonally dysfunctional

Gender Symmetry

refers to the findings of similarity in both expressing and experiencing violence between the genders

Verbal Communication

expresses the basic content of the message

Nonverbal Communication

Reflects more of the relationship part of the message.

The relationship part conveys the attitude of the speaker (friendly, neutral, or hostile) and indicates how the words are to be interpreted (as a joke, request, or command).

Contempt

a feeling that the target of the expression is undesirable

Proximity

nearness, in terms of physical space, time, and so on...

ex: many of our words conveying emotion relate to ______, such as feeling "distant" or "close," or being "moved" by someone. we also "make the first move," "move in" on someone else's partner, or "move in together."

Rapport Talk

Women engage in what Tannen calls ______ ____. To women talk is a way to build and sustain relationships, and conversations are occasions to seek and give support and to reach consensus.

Report Talk

Men engage in what Tennen calls _____ ___. Men's experience talk maintains independence and status. They are on guard to protect themselves from being put down and pushed around.

Self-Disclosure

The revelation of our own deeply personal information. Creates the environment for mutual understanding.

Honeymoon Effect

which means you can say almost anything during the first year and it will not seriously affect the marriage

Demand-Withdraw Communication

a pattern in which one spouse makes an effort to engage the other spouse in a discussion of some issue of importance

Virginia Satir noted that people can be classified according to four styles of MISCOMMUNICATION:

Placaters

Blamers

Computers

Distractors

Placaters

Always agreeable, they are passive, speak in a ingratiating manner, and act helpless. No one knows what ______ really want or feel----ant they themselves often do not know.

Blamers

Acting superior. They are tense, often angry, and gesture by pointing. Inside, they feel weak and want to hide this from everyone (including themselves). The ____ does not listen and always tries to escape responsibility.

Computers

Correct and responsible, _____ show only printouts, not feelings (which they consider dangerous).

Distractors

Acting frenetic and seldom saying anything relevant, _______ flit about in a word and deed. Inside, they feel lonely and out of place. Anything to avoid discussing relevant feelings.

Brant Burleson and Wayne Denton explored the importance of FOUR communication skills on determining marital satisfaction:

Communication Effectiveness

Perceptual Accuracy

Predictive Accuracy

Interpersonal Cognitive Complexity

Communication Effectiveness

producing messages that have their intended effect

Perceptual Accuracy

correctly understanding the intentions underlying a message

Predictive Accuracy

accurately anticipating the effect of the message on another

Interpersonal Cognitive Complexity

the capacity to process social information

Trust

is the belief in the reliability and integrity of a person

Feedback

A critical element of communication that is the ongoing process in which participants and their messages create a given result and are subsequently modified by the result.

The purpose of ______ is to provide constructive information to increase self-awareness of the consequences of our behaviors toward each other.

Mutual Affirmation

good communication in an intimate relationship involves _____ ________, which includes three elements: (1) mutual acceptance, (2) liking each other and (3) expressing liking in both words and actions

Power

is the ability or potential ability to influence another person or group, to get people to do what you want them to do, whether they want to or not

According to J.P. French and Bertam Raven there are SIX types of martial power:

Coercive Power

Reward Power

Expert Power

Legitimate Power

Referent Power

Informational Power

Coercive Power

Is based on the dear that one partner will punish the other. Can be emotional or physical. A pattern of belittling, threatening, or being physical can intimidate and threaten another.

Reward Power

Is based on the belief that the other person will do something in return for agreement.

Expert Power

Is based on the belief that on partner has greater knowledge that the other.

Legitimate Power

Is based on acceptance of roles giving the other person the to demand compliance. Gender Roles are an important part of ________ because they give an aura to rights based on gender. Sociologists refer to ________ _____ as authority.

Referent Power

Is based on identifying with the partner and receiving satisfaction by acting similarly.

Informational Power

Is based on the partner's persuasive explanation.

Relative Love and Need Theory

Explains power in terms of the individual's involvement and needs in the relationship: Each partner brings certain resources, feelings, and needs, to a relationship. Each may be seen as exchanging love, companionship, money, help, and status with the other. What each gives and receives, however, may not be equal. One partner may gaining more from the relationship than the other. The person gaining most from the relationship is the most dependent. (Constantina Safilios-Rothschild)

Principle of Least Interest

Willard Waller coined this term to describe the curious (and often unpleasant) situation in which the partner with the least interest in continuing a relationship enjoys the most power in it.

Resource Theory of Power

Has been met with both criticism and some empirical support, by focusing so narrowly on resources, the theory overlooks other sources of gendered power. It fails to explain the power men continue to enjoy when they are outlearned by their wives or when they are househusbands and this dependent on wives' incomes. Also been criticized for equating power with decision making and for ignoring that power occasionally frees a spouse from having to make decisions.

Basic Conflict

revolve around carrying out marital roles and the functions of marriage and the family, such as providing companionship, working, and rearing children

Nonbasic Conflict

do not strike at the heart of relationships

Constructive Conflict Management

is characterized by flexibility, a relationship rather than individual (self-interest) focus, an intention to learn from their differences and cooperation

Destructive Conflict Management:

Escalating spirals of manipulation, threat, and coercion

Avoidance

Retaliation

Inflexibility

A competitive pattern of dominance and subordination

Demeaning or insulting verbal and nonverbal communication

Hostile Conflict

is a pattern of negative interaction wherein couples engage in frequent heated arguments, call each other names and insult each other, display an unwillingness to listen to each other, and lack emotional involvement with each other

Marital Paradigm

a set of images about how marriage ought to be done, "for better or worse"

Assertiveness

refers to attempts to satisfy our own concern

Cooperativeness

speaks to attempts to satisfy concerns of others

FIVE Conflict Management Styles:

Competing

Collaborating

Compromising

Avoiding

Accommodating

Competing

Behavior is assertive and uncooperative associated with, "forcing behavior and win-lose arguing." This style can lead to increased conflict as well as to either or both spouses feeling powerless and resentful.

Collaborating

Behavior is assertive and cooperative; couples confront disagreements and engage in problem solving to uncover solutions. _______ conflict management may require relationships that are relatively equal in power and high in trust. Using this style then accentuates both trust and the commitment couples feel.

Compromising

This is an intermediate position in terms of both assertiveness and cooperativeness. Couples seek "middle ground" solutions.

Avoiding

Behavior is unassertive and uncooperative, characterized by withdraw and by refusing to take a position in disagreements.

Accommodating

This style is unassertive and cooperative. One person attempts to soothe the other person and restore harmony.

Conceptualized as a reduction in negative feelings and an increase in positive feelings toward a "transgressor" after a transgression, an attitude of good will toward someone who has done us harm, and showing compassion and foregoing resentment toward someone who has caused us pain, research has determined that ______ has long-term physical and mental heath benefits for the person _______.

Marketplace of Relationships

Selection activities when sizing up someone as a potential date or mate. Each person has resources, such as a social class, status, age, and physical attractiveness. (Determinants of Attraction). Traditionally, men offer status, economic resources, and protection; women offer nurturing, childbearing, and physical attractiveness.

Halo Effect

We tend to infer qualities based on looks. This inference is called the ___ ____ ------ the assumption that good-looking people posses more desirable social characteristics than unattractive people.

Double Standard of Aging

Physical attractiveness is a key bargaining element in the marital marketplace, but the older a women gets, the less attractive she is considered. For women, youth and beauty are linked in most cultures.

Marriage Squeeze

Gender imbalance reflected in the ratio of available unmarried women to men. Overall, there are significantly more unmarried women than men (100 to 87), but in the age group of 18 to 44 years, there are significantly more unmarried men than women (100 to 113), giving women the greater bargaining power in the relationship (e.g. timing and frequency of sex).

Marriage Gradient

Marital choice is also affected by the tendency for women to marry men of a higher status (educational, income, and occupational prestige) and taller.

Field of Eligibles

those whom out culture approves of us appropriate potential partners

Endogamy

Marriage within a particular group. Ex: nationality, ethnic group, or socioeconomic status. They share common assumptions, experiences, and understandings. Strengthens group structure.

The tendency to choose a mate whose personal or group characteristics are similar to ours. (aka positive assortative mating)

Heterogamy

refers to the tendency to choose a mate whose personal or group characteristics differ from our own

Hypogamy

Men more than women marry below their socioeconomic levels

Hypergamy

women more often "marry up"

Marital History Homogamy

occurs more as a result of deliberate choices than as a byproduct of other statuses

Residential Propinquity

The tendency we have to select partners (for relationships and for marriages) form a geographically limited local. The likelihood of marriage decreases as the distance between two people's residences increases. Opportunity.

Complementary Needs Theory

The belief that people select as spouses those whose needs are different

Value Theory or Role Theory

Which gratification follows from finding someone who feels and/or thinks like we do. Shares our views of what's important in life or who acts in ways that we desire in a partner validates us, and this sense of validation leads to an intensification of what we feel toward that other person.

Parental Image Theory

suggests that we seek partners similar to our opposite-sex parent

Stimulus-Value-Role Theory

Similar people pair up and the path to commitment progresses through three phases: (1) stimulus - each is attracted to other --> interaction, (2) value - each weighs other's basic values for compatibility, revealed over time in behaviors, and (3) role - each analyzes other's behaviors in roles as lover, companion, potential parent, friend, worker, etc...

Closed Fields

small classes or seminars, dormitories, parties and small workplaces, are characterized by a small number of people who are likely to interact whether they are attracted or not

Open Fields

beaches, shopping malls, bars, amusement parks, and large university campuses, are characterized by large number of people who do not ordinarily interact

Dating Scripts

Men and women define first dates in fairly traditional terms, with such activities as who asks the other out, decides on the plans for the date, and pays the bill expected of the man. He is expected to call the woman on the day of the date, buy her flowers, and pick her up. More likely to make affectionate moves, initiate sexual contact, and take the other home.

Attributions

may be important factors in efforts to avoid such problems in later relationships, shielding us from experiencing the heartache that accompanies a breakup

FOUR attributions

Person

Other

Relational

Environmental

Person

Personal traits and characteristics are identified as causes of relationship failure. ("if only I hadn't been so jealous")

Other

Personal traits and characterized of the partner are seen as the causes of the relationship failure. (he or she was always so insensitive")

Relational

The unique combination of person and other is perceived as the cause of the breakup ("we just wanted different things")

Environmental

The social environment is identified as the cause of the breakup. It compromises many things, from familial pressure and disapproval of the relationship, to work pressures, to "alternative romantic partners."

Lesbian Separatists

lesbians who wanted to creates a separate "womyn's" culture distinct form heterosexuals and gay men

Trial Marriages

the motive for cohabiting is to assess whether partners have sufficient compatibility

Common-Law Marriages

a couple who "lived as husband and wife and presented themselves as married" was considered to be married

researchers have asked whether the advantages result from healthier people being more likely to marry than unhealthy or less healthy people or are part of the protection people receive from marriage itself

Marriage Debate

Where some see marriage as "in decline," others portray it as dynamic, changing, and resilient.

Retreat from Marriage

"evident" in a number of recent and ongoing trends: "historic" delays in the age at which women and men first marry, nearly "unprecedented" proportions of the population never marrying, "dramatic" increases in cohabitation and nonmarital births, and continued high divorce rates.

Deinstitutionalization of Marriage

refers to the "weakening of the social norms that define people's behaviors in a social institution such as marriage

Individual Marriage

individual self-fulfillment and personal growth became the objectives people sought to satisfy through marriage

Conjugal Model of Legal Marriage

Has its core view of marriage defined as "child centered," because it stresses the importance of "sustaining enduring bonds between women and men in order to give a baby its mother and father, to bond them to one another and to a baby." It is also "a sexual union between a man and a woman who promise each to her sexual fidelity, mutual caretaking, and the joint parenting of any children they may have."

Close Relationship Model of Legal Marriage

sees marriage "as one in a universe of diverse close, private relationships, with intrinsic emotional, psychological, and sexual dimensions"

7 Principles of Family Development Theory:

1.Family life is a process over time.

2.Family life is organized by stages and each stage has its own developmental tasks.

3.Stages are hierarchical - each new one builds upon the last.

4.Each new stage begins with a transition that is initiated by an event.

5.Tension builds in the family and stress is experienced during a transition requiring change in the system.

Children learn to trust by having their needs satisfied and by being loved.

2. Toddler: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

2nd - 3rd year

Children need to develop a sense of independence and mastery over their environment and themselves

3. Early Childhood: Initiative vs. Guilt

3-5 years old

The family must allow the child to develop initiative while directing the child's energy

4. School Age: Industry vs. Inferiority

6-12 year old

Children begin to learn that their activities pay off and that they can be creative

5. Adolescence: Identity vs. Role Confusion

12-20

Adolescents need to develop goals, a philosophy of life, and a sense of self.

6. Young Adulthood: Intimacy vs. Isolation

20-40

A young adult who does not make other intimate connections may be condemned to isolation and loneliness

7. Adulthood: Generativity vs. Self-Absorption

40-60

Individual established his or her own family. Failure to be generative may lead to a "what's-in-it-for-me" attitude toward life.

8. Maturity: Integrity vs. Despair

>60

The individual looks back on life to understand its meaning. Those who make a positive judgement have a feeling of wholeness about their lives.

Nine-Stage Family Life Cycle:

Stage I: Between Families-Establishing independence; differentiation of self from family of origin.

Stage II: Beginning Families (Newly Formed; "Newlywed")

Stage III: Childbearing Families

Stage IV: Families with Preschool Children

Stage V: Families with School Children

Stage VI: Families with Adolescents

Stage VII: Families as Launching Center

Stage VIII: Families in the Middle YEars

Stage IX: Aging Families

Duration-of-Marriage Effect

The accumulation over time of various factors such as unresolved conflicts, poor communication, grievances, role overload, heavy work schedules, and childrearing responsibilities that might cause marital disenchantment.

Identity Bargaining

Interactional process of role adjustments: First, a person has to identify with the role he or she is performing. Second, a person must be treated by the other as if he or she fulfills the role. Third, the two people must negotiate changes in each other's roles.

Martial Commitment

Personal Commitment: extent to which one wants to stay in a relationship. Moral Commitment: feeling of being "morally obligated" to stay in a relationship, resulting from our sense of personal obligation, values we have about the lifelong nature of marriage, and a desire to maintain consistency in how we act in important life matters. Structural Commitment: feeling constrained from leaving a relationship, even in the absence of a strong sense of personal or moral obligation.

Empty Nest

as children are "launched" from the family, the parental role becomes increasingly less important in daily life

Boomerang Generation

Some are not moving out before their mid-20's, and many are doing an extra rotation through their family home after a temporary or lengthy absence.

Intermittent Extended Family

Takes in other relatives during a time of need.

It helps daughters who are single mothers; a sick parent, aunt, or uncle; or an unemployed cousin.

Sandwich Generation

are those middle-aged (or older) individuals who are sandwiched between the simultaneous responsibilities of caring for both their dependent children and their aging parents

Conflict-Habituated Marriages

relationships in which tension, arguing, and conflict "permeate the relationship"

Passive-Congenial Marriage

relationships that begin without the emotional "spark" or intensity contained in our romantic idealizations of marriage

Devitalized Marriages

begin with high levels of emotional intensity that over time has dwindled

Vital Marriages

appeal more to our romantic notions of marriage because they begin and continue with high levels of emotional intensity

Total Marriages

relationships in which characteristics of vital relationships are present and multiplied

Emotional Marriage

Experiences associated with falling in love and the intensification of an emotional connection between two people.

Psychic Marriage

The change form an autonomous individual to a partner in a couple.

Community Marriage

The changes in social relationships and social network.

Legal Marriage

The legal relationship that provides a couple with a host of rights and responsibilities.