In many cultures it is normal for a man to expect dutiful sex from his wife whenever he desires it. Women in male-dominated countries are taught to always make their bodies available for their husbands. In Biblical Christianity this duty goes both ways. Not only is a woman supposed to have sex with her husband when ever he needs it, but he likewise is to make himself available to her.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. (I Corinthians 7:3-4 NIV)

A married man does not own his own body. Even though he is the head and master of the household, he is not spiritually superior to his wife: they are equals. His authority in the family is supposed to be used to love and serve his wife. So even though he is her master, he is in a sense her slave also. He needs to let her have access to her body whenever she feels she needs it. As a loving husband he needs to learn to recognize and anticipate her emotional needs, and offer himself willingly to her, even when he is not in “the mood” for sex.

A young Christian man who has never been married might not realize that there will be times in his married life when he does not feel like having sex. It is easy to not want to have sex when you are tired and busy. Besides, if a man has had a lot of sex recently, he may be sexually satisfied himself and therefore not feel like having sex. But women are different than men. They may still want, need, more sex just to feel close to their husband, especially if they are having a bad day. A husband needs to be sensitive to this and lovingly, joyfully submit to his wife’s need even if his sex drive is not very strong at the moment.

Husbands and wives who refuse sex to each other do serious damage to their relationship. If a woman denies sex to her husband when he needs it, she increases the temptation for him to go look at pornography or masturbate. Likewise, when a husband refuses to have sex with his wife, she may grow distant from him spiritually. A strong man needs to be there for his wife, joyfully share in her struggles and desires, and truly be her best and closest friend, the one she shares everything with.