From my end, I can tell he’s not in to any of these women beyond sex. He recently broke it off with a girl he was sleeping with, Jenn, because he’s interested in another girl (Melissa) on a girlfriend level.

Jenn was upset when he broke it off, and I wondered why she was surprised that he wasn’t in to her. He indicated that she thought he’d eventually get in to a relationship with her. Unfortunately, she was doing it backwards. The caring has to come before the sex, and not vice versa.

Doug is a rare breed because he was up front with the girls he was sleeping with. He never gave them the wrong idea by going on serious dates (they’d ask him to go away on trips, or to meet family members, etc.). Despite his honesty, the women were still surprised and disappointed when he broke it off.

It can be to tell when you’re stuck in a “just sleeping together” situation. Here are a few signs that it might be more than just sleeping together:

He Wants To Wait

Doug has been hanging out with Melissa for two weeks. One night they were getting hot and heavy and she told him she wanted to wait to have sex, but then changed her mind later in the evening. She said she was ready.

But my friend said: “let’s wait.”

He explained to me: “I actually care about this girl, so I didn’t want to have sex so fast”

Doug, who I thought didn’t think of sex as a big deal, was making it a big deal. Bottom line, sex is a big deal when you really care about the person.

Doug would often leave after hanging out with me to meet up with the girl he was sleeping with. They’d send him the “when and where” text.

If the guy’s rolling in at the end of the night for some fun when you haven’t hung out otherwise, it’s pretty obvious you’re just sleeping together. Even if you meet up late at a bar for a few hours then go home, he’s still probably looking at it as just sleeping together.

Do you agree with my signs above? What signs do you look for to indicate you’re not just sleeping together? Have you ever been worried that your relationship is more about sleeping together, and not a deeper relationship?