When people say to me “I want to appear confident in front of an audience” a little alarm bell rings in my head. I know it shouldn’t, because helping people be confident around public speaking is my job. It’s the phrase “appear confident” that worries me. It smacks of putting on a performance, trying to pretend that everything is ok. It seems to say “If the “outside of me” looks relaxed to the audience then everything will be ok.” But it’s a hollow wish. It’s a bit like wanting some magic makeup that makes you look cool, relaxed and powerful on the outside (if the makeup existed I’d make millions! And in the same way that a perfume can be called Poison this makeup would be called Shame)I know there are slogans such as “fake it ‘til make you make it” that seem to give this approach credibility. However I think we need to take a step back. The word confidence comes from the Latin for complete trust. If we see it from a perspective of trust then self-confidence is all about trusting myself.Can I trust myself that it’s ok for me:1) to be looked at?2) to be the centre of attention?3) to take a pause and gather my thoughts?4) to have a good eye contact with person I’m talking to5) not to be perfect and that I can make mistakesand, perhaps the biggest one6) can I trust that its ok to be me?Building that fundamental trust in yourself not only helps with public speaking it also helps you to take your place in the world.