Hayden Pantaloons arrived at a screening for her movie I Love You, Beth Cooper in NYC last night baby-less. When she left the screening, she suddenly had an adorable babeh friend in her arms. Now, this is the same movie where Hayden drops her towel and reveals her “baby beluga whale on internet-bought roids” body. You do the second grade math. That baby isn’t sleeping, she straight-up blacked out when Hayden’s half-nekkid body came on the big screen! When she woke up and realized a troll was carrying her ass, she probably passed out again! Babies are smart enough to realize that trolls eat their finger nails and hair for dinner.

My favorite morning drunky, Kathie Lee Gifford, was also there with her daughter Cassidy. I’m sure K-Lee passed out too in the middle of the movie, but you can blame Lady Chardonnay for that one.

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