No need to exaggerate – life is strange enough as is.

The Magic Traveling Boots

The Pheebs didn’t venture far from home as a child. Her father, an insurance claims adjuster, was short on income and imagination. He also had an irrational fear of bridges. Combine the three, and family vacations consisted of dry land excursions to the Lima, OH Holidome.

Kids eat and sleep free. For those unfamiliar with Lima Ohio, the place has absolutely no redeeming value as a tourist attraction, which made Holidome rooms cheap.

It came as quite a surprise to find the Pheebs had not stepped foot inside an airplane until after marriage.

The Pheebs also has an extreme aversion to all things below 75 degrees F.

So it was equally as surprising when she accepted an invitation to go to Korea – in January.

Korea is at about the same latitude as Washington DC – the primary difference is Russia sends these nasty Siberian winds down the peninsula all winter long so as to make life difficult for the Koreans. It’s cold – the wind cuts to the bone. Perhaps living in Key West allowed the Pheebs to forget what cold was – in any case, she was along for the ride.

The first few days were pretty miserable, until we spotted Shinsegae Department Store. 11 floors of glowing cream marble, thousands, and I mean thousands of service staff waiting to fulfill your every desire.

A magical place – a reminder of what shopping was all about before the Big Box Meanies turned it into groping for crap in a warehouse.

It was here the Pheebs discovered the Magic Traveling Boots.

Cleverly disguised as a pair of English riding boots, they transform their wearer into a warm and bubbly explorer.

Thus attired, the Pheebs spent weeks wandering Seoul. One of the attributes of the Magic Traveling Boots is the wearer can always find their way home. This may not seem all that difficult, but the Pheebs has no bump of direction – it often takes her four tries to figure out what direction she’s facing. Add in the absolute immensity of Seoul, and her ability to navigate at all proves there indeed is magic in these boots.

Seoul is one of the world’s great cities. It’s modern, efficient, safe with an excellent mass transportation system. They say there are but two kinds of Koreans: Those who live in Seoul and those who want to.

The Pheebs viewed the city through the eyes of her artist daughters, that is to say she looked for signs of culture and sophistication. She had no trouble finding them.

Extended wearing of The Magic Traveling Boots caused the Pheebs to consider herself as part of the scene…

For the record, the cute little character who isn’t the Pheebs marks the entrance to a police station. The Koreans have an interesting sense of humor.

My personal favorite – Mary Pheebers.

No doubt about it – The Magic Traveling Boots have taken this little girl a long way from Lima.

From what I understand of Korean police, that cuddly cartoon character ashould be whacking the living shit out of passers-by. On ce again, you are shoeing me a side of the world that I have not yet been to, nor read much about. Your writing style does a great deal to encourage the casual reader to hurry to the end, look at the pictures, than read it again.

Most Korean police are kids straight out of high school who are self conscious to the point of inaction.

Yes – there are lots of them, but the billyclub smackin’ horseshit went away over 20 years ago. The only time I saw Korean police rough up anyone was when they were reprimanding a Korean ladyboy for poor application of foundation and mascara. There is a time and a place for a 4″ horsehair brush – and application of cosmetics ain’t it.

Therefore – force was justifiable in from the view of a certain Max Factor.