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Imagine you live in, say, Morocco, and Pitbull comes to town on tour and keeps repeating these three numbers over and over again like it's the code to unlocking the secrets of the universe. Mystified, you go home to research what, exactly, this “3-0-5” number means. And then you find that it’s… a randomly selected number by the US phone companies designated for the region of Dade County, Florida.

Well, that was disappointing.

Our area code is but one of many things Miamians have an absurd amount of pride in. Not to say there aren’t some chest-swelling things about living in South Florida. But some others... well, some others just don’t make any damn sense.

Winter Starbucks Beverages Around The World

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So our greatest contribution to the American culinary collective is… a ham and cheese sandwich. Oh, but it has pickles, mustard AND mayo?! Well, nevermind then!

Driving like assholes

Because when you pick your friends up at the airport and they start holding on to their armrests for dear life as you cut off 16 cab drivers and move over five lanes without signaling, all you tell them is, “This is how we do in Miami, bro.”

Our bodies

Miami might be the only city in the world where it’s perfectly acceptable for dudes to post ab selfies somewhere other than Grindr. Thankfully we’re building so many glass towers that we’ll never run out of reflective surfaces.

Other people's money

The Dan Marino era

We get it. This was the last time the Dolphins even sniffed relevance. But the highlight of Marino’s run was a Super Bowl… LOSS. This would be like Panthers fans waxing nostalgic about the Jake Delhomme era.

The weather

Yes, there is a certain joy in sending a picture of your feet on a beach in February to all your friends in “the greatest city in the world.” Because clearly, all that turquoise water and sunshine was your doing.

Our cars

The quickest way to get into a fight in Miami is insulting someone’s car. Even if it is only theirs for the next 36 months/until the next missed lease payment.

Getting "VIP" for anything

Grotesquely large butts

Hurricane parties

You know who gets excited to drink all night with 140mph winds trying to take your roof off? Usually people who've never been through an actual hurricane. Just make sure you pick the party thrown by the guy who's lived in Florida for 10+ years.

Living here

Because if we don’t have irrational pride about choosing to live in a city full of traffic, corruption, terrible drivers, and skyrocketing rents, all we’ve got is Pitbull.

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Matt Meltzer is a staff writer with Thrillist. See all his ab selfies and pictures on other people’s yachts on his Instagram @meltrez1.