Monday, April 27, 2009

RIP Bea Arthur

For those of you who don't know Bea Arthur from anything other than The Golden Girls, here's a little something to remind you that Bea was a much deserved Emmy and Tony award winner with impeccable comedic timing:

I'd like to think I celebrate the Earth every day by being a good citizen and keeping my carbon footprint low. I'm not and I don't, but I'd like to think so.

In honor of Earth Day, I won't pass any gas today! um, any more gas... Wait. Okay... Um... Any more gas... starting... now. Wait a second... now. Crud. You know, having Mexican food last night was a bad idea. I'll think of something else (first, I need to open a window... or something).

It's a friggin' Spare the Air day in the Bay Area, how can you NOT do something for Earth today? Public transit is free today! If I can't appeal to your being a good citizen, can I at least appeal to your love of money?

For Mother Earth I will start my summer garden today--I'll plant some flowers, and some tomatoes, too. Helping the bees and my pocket book. See? Earth Day helps all of us.

Plus, in keeping with the idea of Earth Day, I'll recycle something... does Mexican Food count?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Was it Something I said?

There’s this cool new website called Omegle, which is Elgemo spelled backwards. Either way, it doesn’t mean crap—which is pretty much how this site works.

They randomly select you with some random stranger to chat with. Don’t know who they are. Don’t really care. However, the conversations are short—everyone keeps disconnecting from me in mid-converstation.

I’ve had three conversations. The first person brought up puberty in the second sentence (disconnect). The second person couldn’t spell. And then there was this guy:

Connecting to server...Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!You: hello random strangerStranger: good eveningStranger: how are you doing?You: good. you?Stranger: not too badStranger: i ate too much, thoughStranger: feel like i'm about to explodeYou: sorry to hear thatYou: what time is it where you are?Stranger: 6:56 pmYou: ah...Stranger: whats your local time?You: 3:57You: CaliforniaStranger: you are in the past, CalifornianStranger: I come from the futureYou: No... we're the future!Stranger: we control weather now.Stranger: indoors onlyStranger: but China is working on it.You: We have SchwarzeneggerStranger: You deserve a big chocolate chip cookie if you spelled his name correctlyYou: Once you've got The Terminator, you've pretty much control whatever you wantYou: Mmmmm... cookies!Stranger: except the state budgetYou: Yeah... we're screwed.Stranger: Terminator can't control thatYou: try as he mightStranger: seriously. I blame the cool tourism adYou: So... what did you eat that made you SO stuffed?You: (I kind of dig that ad).You: (Yeah... we say "dig" here... "groovy", too)Stranger: yes, its full of awesome sauce. but seriously, was it a justifiable expense?Stranger: I ate a burgerYou: No, it'll probably make people want to move here vs. visit.Stranger: and some chips with spinach dipYou: Homemade? Did you BBQ?Stranger: and now I feel like I'll have a problem walking through doorwaysStranger: si senhorYour conversational partner has disconnected.

So I'm on Comcast today and I'm checking out the news... here's an article on the results of collision tests for small cars:

Note the picture. No smashing cars or test dummies in site. That is a bed bug. One might think that bed bugs are infesting new cars. It's a picture about bed bugs being rampant in hotels, dorms, etc. across the country.

Curious, I decided to read more about the bed bugs and clicked on the picture, which brought me here:

I'm not sure what Comcast is trying to say, but I'm thinking they believe all our woes are caused by bed bugs.

This is beginning to blow up in NOM’s face—it’s now reported by the HRC that they auditioned actors, not real people, for their ad. They can never win on the truth, can they? Just keep perpetuating the lie and hope it catches does not honor God.

Picture courtesy of Joe.My.God. (used completely without permission... I feel awful about it. But not so awful I didn't use it... bygones!)

*Contrary to what one friend noted, I did not post Sean's video because he's really cute... however, truth be told, it didn't hurt. I've been crushing on this guy for years...

Update: I sent this note to Sean this morning. Spread the word, people--this video can effect change.Sean,

I was having drinks last night with a friend when the subject of your video came up. She and I have had several debates on gay marriage and she’s had a hard time reconciling her religion to gay marriage. Yesterday, I sent a note out to all my friends to watch it. She did…

…and she finally got it!

It blew me away. I’ve been discussing it with her for so long, we became broken records: repeating the same arguments over and over. However, your video got her to look at it from outside herself; it’s not about her, it’s about other people loving each other.

When she said “I wish I could take back my vote [for Yes on 8]”, it gave me hope that this conversation could be going all across the country. One step closer—one vote closer—to equality.

I thought you would want to know that your video is having a positive effect. Thank you again for posting what needed to be said.

Best,-ChrisAnother update:He got mentioned in Time Magazine (he's the first link on the spoofs in the second to the last paragraph)! AWESOME!

Rugby is quickly becoming my favorite sport. These guys don’t mind being thought of as sex objects, in fact, they relish it. I have nothing but the utmost respect for them… and by respect, I mean, dirty locker room fantasies.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Fools of April are Upon Us

I've never been a fan of April Fool's jokes... they often tend to be mean-spirited (and I'm such a loving-giving type of guy). The internet has made it very easy to do great practical jokes. Some do it well, others not so much.

Case in point: Whole Foods. They get it. They know who they are, what they represent and who their customers are. So they came up with the perfect April Fool's homepage. Check it out, it won't be there long.

I'll update throughout the day as I stumble upon more clever (and not so clever) sites.

Found another one... not as clever as it is obvious and a dig at Twitter

I'm sure this will food a few people... (if only it were true) :

And hey, don't be douchebags... if you're going to punk someone, don't be an ass about it.

"Do Ask; I Tell!"(c)

About Me

Chris bakes, bartends, walks dogs, makes a lovely wedding gift, slices & dices, lifts & separates, cooks in only seconds, bends, folds, mutilates, dances, prances, soars, bores, snores, files, piles, dials, kneads reeds and beads, floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee, pickles prickly peppers, sells sea shells with Suzy by the sea shore, chucks wood with woodchucks, lifts stains effortlessly, is new AND improved, is the brother of three, the uncle of five, the father of none, and a direct descendant of a guy named Lazard. He was married in November 2015 to a handsome and amazing Frenchman named Frédéric.