One rises in Colorado, wanders through San Juan and El Paso and separates the needy of Mexico from the affluent of the USA.

The other rose in Peckham, meandered elegantly through West Ham and Leeds to Manchester where he has become the most divisive issue at the biggest football club in the land.

A bit of nonsense to be sure. But then the whole Rio Ferdinand affair has descended into farce.

The country's most expensive player has prevaricated for weeks over signing a new contract at Manchester United, said to be worth in excess of £100,000 a week.

His manager, players, club legends and the fans have implored him to put pen to paper and Ferdinand himself has insisted he wants to stay - but still we wait.

For what? Well, it appears the most important figure in the deal, that agent provocateur, Pini Zahavi, is on holiday and mustn't be disturbed.

Having seen the player his mentor describes as "the best centre-half in the world" perform or otherwise in recent weeks, I would advise Mr Zahavi to move his backside immediately or his hot property will be deemed to be worth far less than is on offer at present.

Ferdinand was totally upstaged by Chelsea centre back Ricardo Calvalho as the new Premiership champions humbled United at Old Trafford on Tuesday and even the lumbering Robert Huth gave a more energetic display.

This follows a run of indifferent form by the avaricious one, beginning with his failure to prevent Duncan Ferguson heading the winner for Everton last month, an aberration for which I will be eternally grateful.

The Red Knight understandably wants to resolve the impasse before next weekend's FA Cup Final against Arsenal and it is stupid that everything is on hold until the agent involved finds time to give the deal the nod.

Image rights have been mentioned as a sticking point, but I would respectfully suggest that Ferdinand's image following the failed drug test saga is not that high that it would massively increase his worth to United.

Despite `chance' meetings in London with Stamford Bridge chief executive Peter Kenyon, Chelsea have insisted they do not want him (for what that is worth) and no one else in the Premiership can afford him, so Ferdinand's dalliance is inexplicable and serves only to unsettle a club which is trying to cope with enough problems already.

An ultimatum is overdue.

Meanwhile, his infuriated manager must have inwardly groaned on the realisation that his United side are no longer good enough to mount a serious challenge to Chelsea.

They were emphatically beaten by Jose Mourinho's men, not for the first time, and despite mutterings about the shortage of funds, money must be found in the summer to strengthen the squad or a third season of comparative mediocrity lies ahead.