Saturday, March 7, 2009

What Do If She/He Hasn'T Called Back?

I really liked this girl I met. She was beautiful and smart and I wanted to take her out and she gave me her number. Well, over the winter break I would call her and she would never call back and the few times we did talk she would cut our conversations short. …I am going to be honest with you V, I feel now that I don’t want to have anything to do with the guessing game garbage and games in general that go along with relationships. I feel a little better knowing that you care. Where would you suggest I go from here V?

A. Hey dear,Of course I care! So do your friends, so reach out to them as well. =)

A person lags or doesn’t return your calls, most likely because that person is not interested. And that’s OK. Not everyone is going to be your match. Just as I’m sure in your past, you’ve turned down some females because you didn’t feel the same. Most people won’t be your match but the few who are…will be well worth it. So don’t take it too personal. This is called ‘dating’.

It’d be easier if people would be straight up and tell you if they’re not interested instead of leaving you hanging. Unfortunately, many people have trouble telling that there’s no mutual interest. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she is viscious and wanted to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, people avoid confrontation or having to reject people by not returning calls or texts. Sometimes, they do it because they don’t want to cause any ill feelings or just plain- don’t think it’s worth their time to explain. It’s always easier (not exactly right) to avoid rather than confront so it takes a truly mature person to tell you straight up.

What does this mean for you? On an awareness level:

What about it bothered you? Think about what and how that felt. What is your gut telling you? Is it rejection? Is it that disappointment? Something else?

What to do next? Move on.Understand what bothered you. Alter your thinking/behavior. Accept it. Your matches will be few and great experiences ahead..well, there’s plenty to look forward to. Life is short. You’re valuable. Move on so that you spare your time for someone who is deserving of your time.