WootBot

Under normal circumstances, a fit-looking older guy with a beaming white smile asking me this question might not even give me pause. Just some cheery, motivational type or maybe a street corner proselytizer hoping to lure me in. But this time is different because we are both drenched in sweat and naked, standing about two feet from each other.

Well, I at least have flip flops on.

"Uh, what?" I'm thrown off.

"Did you make a difference today?" We're in the locker room of the gym I use, because what else would a tableside-sitting, macchiato-sipping pseudo-internet-celebrity dilettante do with his mornings? I've just finished my work-out and I'm heading towards the shower, which is already the most awkward part of my day because I have a deep-seated hatred of my body and a bizarre phobia that I will somehow offend people by seeing them naked. It takes me several seconds longer than it should before I can stammer out a reply.

"Uh, yeah. I sure as hell tried."

"Good! Good! That's what it's all about! I feel a little sore, too!"

"Well, that's how you know it's working, right?"

"Yeah! Have a good one!" He flashes me another brilliant smile; his teeth are perfect. He throws on a shirt and I head off to take a shower. My first instinct was to write up a blog post about how weird this guy was, having the gall to talk to ME, a stranger. And that's when I realized that throwing a person under the bus for daring to be friendly is a pretty d*&k move.

How did it get to this point? When did greeting a stranger become behavior worthy of scorn? I know part of this is my own neuroses, but I also know I'm not the only one walking around in an increasingly-solitary bubble, judging anyone who dares intrude. I spend just as much time avoiding people as I do complaining that I haven't made any real friends since moving to Seattle. But, and I realize how fundamentally broken as a human being this makes me sound, it's really hard to make friends as an adult.

Which makes no sense because I'm a pretty approachable guy.

I'm friends with a lot of my co-workers because we spend most of every weekday together, but unless I'm forced into proximity with people for extended periods of time I have a hard time putting myself out there. But maybe it starts just that simply: maybe it's as easy as not judging a stranger for bothering to strike up a conversation with me. Maybe I can spend a little less time judging people and more time just saying hello occasionally.

I'd still prefer to not be naked while I do it, though.

Do you struggle with feeling socially awkward, too? What state of undress do you prefer to have your conversations in? Got any tips for making friends? Fire away in the comments!And maybe we can set up a mixer so everyone can get to know each other.

llandar

nparus

Pajamas are the best way to avoid social awkwardness. Try approaching a few people dressed this way and you'll find them opening up in ways you'd never dreamed. Who cares if they're uncomfortable? You'll be toasty and comfy while they back away uttering Dot's Poetry Corner excuses about having to be somewhere else.

Dot's poetry cafe? Where the heck did that come from? I wrote "L A M E EXCUSES"

mommyleah

micheal0484

Ah the gym locker room, such a wonderful place for awkward conversation. I normally only see the older fat gentlemen in the buff but on occasion you stumble across someone else strolling around nude. I think society today has changed the view on how to react when we are naked around others. It starts at a young age too, I remember boys showering in underwear in the 7th grade for fear of being called narf or made fun of for not being blessed in the nether region. As Americans have become less proud of their bodies I think this social fear has escalated. There are a lot of people who would feel awkward in this position and I don't see it getting better anytime soon. As for what state I would feel awkward in would be naked as well. In underwear I would be okay talking to other for short periods of time. Two years ago when I started the gym would have been a different story; my self esteem is a lot higher now. As long as you stop eating those fries you have in the OP I would say by this time next year it will be you asking if they made a difference today. Then you can write a blog post about how you thought the other person felt. Good luck and stay consistent!

Dikaios

If you live on the Eastside my mates and I go to Science Fiction Trivia night at Flying Saucer pizza between Redmond and Kirkland. You can come join us this Saturday at Six. Our normal team name is "Mars." I promise to be nice and wear clothes.

apoor

Thank you for that message. Perhaps a bit more naked than you were in the story, which makes it so much more touching. Putting yourself out there is hard, but indeed there is more to life than just snark.

legamin

Went to Walmart in my jammies and strolled around 4 an hour shopping. Not a word o sideways glance. But up at the checkout the poor woman about went into apoplexy before finally spewing out (at a much higher and louder frequency I'm sure) "oh! My! Uh, you're in you're pajamas....I guess that's comfortable?"
I nearly didn't make it past the greeter and to my car b4 busting up howling laughing! ..which I'm sure amused several in the near vicinity who missed the p.j.'s.
The only thing that would have made it better would have been a cape and my chicken mask!

legamin

julian3 wrote:But it helps if the other party is not repeatedly touching himself or gesturing without using his hands. Ya know?

Have spend much time in cultures where touching, kissing, hugging and general constant time in one another's bubbles is a daily joy that they share. It's nice. A naked shower, swim, bath or store changing room while chatting to utter strangers is just another day, western culture has a stick up its collective a** when it comes to thinking of a "bubble" as a natural right.
Let's get over ourselves! There really are more important things 2 worry about than back hair and a large white exposed but a foot from u as a chap chats up his mate.

legamin

apoor wrote:Thank you for that message. Perhaps a bit more naked than you were in the story, which makes it so much more touching. Putting yourself out there is hard, but indeed there is more to life than just snark.

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