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Saturday, June 13, 2009

this is the post that's no fact no true no sense nothing

Nope.....u still ugly!

every once in a while there is one post you will find in this blog without punctuation and rules because in this moment i do not care but i just want to scream it out loud because every little bone and cell in my body wishes to find an explanation for all the things that have happened in my life that leads to this point of life where all things seem to diverge away from me and sideline every thing in my choice like an antigraviton which is as mysterious as the feelings of one girl itself but none in the world seems to aware of this kind of force because not all people in the world will get the effect of this thing as it ruin my life so badly that i am desperate to cling on anything i see around me like the people from the past i see every now and then they have succeeded in many many things i have not even to begin to think about yet and they all speed like the speed of light as every good thing travels faster than i do and i seem to see everything distorted and blurry and dissolved right in front of my fucking eyes then all i can do is to mope and wallow and drown in the self hating vessel of insecurities the place where all my friends and common sense tell me to stay away from but i just could not manage because i am always get sucked right back in and now i just want to jump off the bridge because nothing in this world seem sane to me as i am just too sick and tired to face all of it once again because even when i thought i have conquered it will come the things anew just to screw everything i have built and do not u care to comment this post because this is the one you should not read and i should have not written here because this is neither true nor false and it all just a frick imagination and i do not know what to do this is a dark time for me please tell me what to do but please do not tell me do not reply this do not comment this but i want to know because i am going crazy and i keep contradict myself and i just can not understand why why why why should this all be this way and i have no way to undo it please forgive this weak man and do not judge me for what i have done and will do next because you damn right i am desperate once again and i do not waant to think about tomorrow but it keeps slip right in to my head and i can not stand the thought of them together i just cant live with it IUBCWIBCIWCIWCUCNICEBCLQIBCCQCWIECBIBCIWBCBLWCLCWUCNCILNECKSFHLWWOEFHWHFLBCVSCBLABCSGCLWAHBCLWBCLWHCBLIWGECIFEHUHFWOEHOIJQIJQPWOPIJMMZMALJHDOQWDENDOIHWOEVFW98HKSJDHWNCKWEHCIWNECOWHECNWHCJWNCFJHFNNQLERCNKJCNKWJCLBYGCLWECWBCUCBIJBLISDHC;NWC;WHNWUHCUWBBWBFGWBBWFBWLBFWBWBIWLVFBEBVABVHASDGCABCABFLABLEWBVAEVEHBVEAVGAEBVALIBVLBRLAJCH,ABCJWHCIWBCIHIUVBAVAEIVAEUBVLAEVHLAEBVIAGVABDSIVIEABVIABIUEABVIAEVEABVIEIVBERV i am sorry i cant do this please forget everything you have read and dont say anything back i will delete it