Saturday, April 5, 2008

Someone help me understand

I have to admit, I don't get Max and Ruby. At all. And yet, the boys are addicted. Is this their first attempt at parental alienation? I thought I had a few more years before that started.

Of all of the TV shows they've become temporarily obsessed with, this one is the most baffling. Ruby, in her naggy whining voice, is a domineering taskmaster. She bosses her poor, sadly delayed brother in one way and another, the whole while missing his one word brilliance. Max, on the other hand, is a bit, well, simple. He can speak clearly, but only utters one word at a time. He is socially inappropriate, probably due to being raised by his pre-adolescent sister.

So my questions are:1. Where are their parents? Clearly they are too young to be on their own, and yet we see Ruby being responsible for bathing, feeding and dressing Max, as well as managing her own social commitments as dictated by the Bunny Scouts.

2. If their parents are missing, why does their Grandmother not take a more active role in their lives? We see her toddle in and out from time to time, but she does not offer any real help in raising these two parentless bunnies. Maybe that is due to her own mental instability. She seems to be genuinely interested in mud worm and acorn cakes, she is thrilled at the prospect of uninvited guests, she even wears glow in the dark vampire teeth. Is she just a warm and loving grandmother, or are her eccentricities a sign of mental defect?

3. Why has there been no intervention by social services? The children are well known in the neighborhood and every one seems to know that Ruby is solely responsible for Max's wellbeing, so it is unlikely that they are masking their situation.

4. Why does Mr. Huffington allow Ruby to babysit for her infant? Isn't it clear that she is incapable of caring for her own brother, why complicate matters by adding an infant into the mix? If she is trying to provide an income for the children since they have lost their parents, wouldn't it be more responsible to notify Child Protective Services of their situation?

5. What the hell are the Bunny Scouts? It appears to be some sort of cult that engages in brain washing from what I can tell. And this Bunny Scout Leader, what is wrong with her? She is bossy and seems to revel in correcting the behavior of the girl bunnies while out and out ignoring the needs of Max. Is there a deeper meaning to the "Bunny Scouts" that I am missing? Is it some sort of Female Supremest organization?

6. What is Raspberry Fluff icing and why is Ruby happy to let her younger brother subsist on a diet of candy and cakes? He clearly is craving nutrients missing from his diet as demonstrated by his obsession with creating mud, dirt and worm pies.

7. Is it possible that Ruby is actually Max's mother? Is it possible that they murdered their parents to live off their wealth ala the Menendez brothers?

8. What is the candy store owner, Candi, smoking, and may I please have some? She is on something, and from the looks of it, something good. I think the least she could do is share with me since I am being forced to watch this show.9. Why do I spend so much time thinking about this show? Really, why?

If you can answer any or all of these questions, please, please, let me know.

For this reason alone, I am thankful for being cable-challenged. Ruby's nasally whining became an earworm after a very short time.

I'll take a shot at helping you answer some of your questions:

1) I'm pretty sure that their parents are hanging out with Charlie Brown's parents, all of whom are no doubt collectively praising Xenu, God of Leave Your Kids to Parent Themselves.

2) Gramma is one card short of a full deck. Why, in one of our books that my saucer-eyed boys insists we read every night, Gramma bunny is trying to pass off a pistachio sundae as breakfast. She also sends Max on his way in a car with another sundae for Ruby. She insists he speed to get home so it doesn't melt (which may explain why she was not granted guardianship--she consistently proves she does not have their best interest in mind).

3) I'm sure Social Services has not intervened for fear of pissing off the Easter Bunny (who is probably related somehow--you know how those slut bunnies get around), without whom they will have many, many sad children without candy on Easter morning.

4) Mrs. Huffington allows Ruby to babysit probably because she's a little out of touch with the maternal thing and a lush. Better to trust the pre-pubescent bunny who's been burping her baby bunnies since birth than to try to take on the daunting task of parenting herself. God forbid. Next time you watch, check for gin blossoms just to be sure.

5) Bunny Scouts. Must be some form of conservative, Bush-approved, homophobic child fraternity (or sorority in this case) whose main cause is ensure the proliferation of a generation of Nurse Ratcheds.

6) Ruby's giving Max Raspberry fluff is all a cover. She gives it to him, sure, but how much is she taking for *herself*? I know personally how to play that one.

7) You are right. Ruby is waaay too invested in Max's boundaries and upbringing for it to be a simple big sister - little brother relationship. GROSS.

8) I haven't seen this episode you speak of, but one guess suggests that if Candi is smoking something, it MUST be the candy cigarrettes.. the kind that you can blow through and a puff of sugar comes out the other end.

9) Because, like me, you have now been infected with the Max & Ruby virus. The only cure is to give up cable. And THAT, my friend, is the stark reality. Or you can wait till they outgrow this phase in a couple years. But the question is, can you last that long?

In April of 2005, my husband and I packed up our two dogs and toddler and moved to Seattle from the San Francisco Bay area. Shortly after our move, I became pregnant with our second child. As exciting as this was, it definitely put a cramp in my ability to explore our new home town. I'm still working hard at adjusting to the new digs.
As a working mom to two small boys, I manage to keep pretty busy. Between business meetings, play dates and pediatrician appointments, there isn't much time left for personal pursuits. But that is a trade off I am willing to make. I'll find time for myself when the boys are old enough to borrow the car, right?
And as though that isn't enough, when we moved we bought our first house, a major fixer upper. Yeah, we wanted the "this Old House" experience, but little did I realize that it would lead to such great experiences, like the sudden loss of running water from a broken water main, or a leaky sewer pipe that kept the toilet off limits for days.
All I can say is that life sure is interesting!