Kim Tells North Koreans Trump Stood Him Up

PINGPONG – Like a chubby kid whose prom date never showed, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un dejectedly announced to his people today that he had been stood up by the American president. President Trump said today that he’ll be a no-show at the planned get-together between the two leaders on June 12 in Singapore.

“Did he get a better offer?” Kim asked, speaking through tears. A trusted general in Kim’s inner circle leaned over and said, “Maybe he’s just not that into you, Mr. Chairman…” Kim immediately had the general shot. He will be missed by his loved ones.

Kim, just getting the bad news.

The dictator admitted that he felt humiliated in front of his nation. “Was it me?” he wondered. “Surely he knew I was just joking when I said I would annihilate America with nuclear bombs, right? I mean, that’s just friendly banter.”

As word spread around the country, starving citizens felt their leader’s pain. Some said the cancellation was a shame, saying Kim has really been working hard to drop 2-3 pounds before the event – just to impress President Trump.

Only time will tell if Kim will try to win Trump back somehow, or just give up, realizing that the American president is way out of his league.