The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!

Post navigation

“Winks”

Who else thinks “winks” on dating sites are ridiculous? What about all the other gimmicks sites use to enable people to not send an email because they think a “wink” or whatever else might garner a response.

I think if dating sites are going to provide us with a “wink” option, then they should also provide us a “middle finger” option. So when a guy sends me a derogatory email, I can give him the finger.

It all depends upon your perspective. If we are talking about free sites, then yes, I agree with you. Men should write. However, if we are talking about Match, winks and favorites are what non-paying members have at their disposal.

For me, it isn’t worth the cost of a subscription because most of my results are not compatible for hundreds of miles. I also don’t get views. Half of my winks come from spammers. The cost:benefit is horrible for a guy in my situation. I rely on winks almost exclusively. Why? We all use POF and OKCupid. We all have Facebook. Track me down. I see it as a sign of intelligence if a woman is able to find me elsewhere. It’s creepy when a guy does it, but when a woman is able to find me, I’m impressed. If mutual interest is expressed via winks, there is an incentive to find one another. Plus, it shows me a woman is smart enough to work the system in her favor. Consider it a skill.

So not all winkers are wankers. We’ve just weighed our options and realize paying isn’t going to give us any different results than had we not paid. If a non-paying member winks at you and you like what his profile says, he is likely sitting there, hoping you’ll wink back so he can go looking for you on OKCupid, POF, or Facebook.

Besides, given the success rate/reply rate in online dating, I have no incentive to write most women. My reply rate has always been in the single digits.

I once had a guy write me and said “well, just breaking the ice.” How do you respond to that. If they don’t have anything to say in our first convo, how are we supposed to talk for the next 50 years? *close match*

YES!!! I hate the wink. Man up and just email me. Say hi. I don’t need a line, but I definitely deserve a bit more than a generic wink. In those cases, most of the time, I give the generic– Not interested button response.