Donald Trump didn’t call Hillary Clinton ugly last night. He didn’t say she’s fat, or a pig, or that she isn’t a “perfect 10.” He never directly alluded to her health or the case of pneumonia that kept her off the campaign trail for a few days. In some version of reality (not mine), that means Trump was well-behaved and ought to receive high marks for acting like a gentleman.

But outright insults and vulgar jeers are only half the battle for women when it comes to deflecting the sexist language that’s tossed our way on a daily basis. Think about it: You don’t usually get comments from a male colleague about the size of your ass (I hope—if you do, get to HR now), but you may hear more than enough about how sensitive you are, or how women just aren’t tough enough to make “hard decisions” in the workplace. Likewise, there was plenty tossed Hillary Clinton’s way last night that might not have set off your misogyny radar, but which is exactly the type of low-key sexism that creeps into women’s peripheral vision all day long.

He may have been advised by his campaign staff, correctly, to tone down any outright offensive rhetoric, but Trump used language designed to undermine the idea of a female president without overtly appearing that way. At one point, moderator Lester Holt asked Trump, “Earlier this month, you said [Secretary Clinton] doesn't have, quote, ‘a presidential look.’ She's standing here right now. What did you mean by that?” Trump affirmed the statement about her “look” and then immediately pivoted away from it.

“She doesn't have the look,” he said. “She doesn't have the stamina. I said she doesn't have the stamina. And I don't believe she does have the stamina. To be president of this country, you need tremendous stamina.”

We’ve been debating what it means to “look presidential” for decades, perhaps centuries. Does the president have to be tall? Imposing? Friendly? (There’s even a vintage cover from Washingtonian magazine, my other employer, that asks “Can a Bald Man Be President?”)

But the question takes on new meaning when it’s applied to a female candidate. When Trump says Clinton “doesn’t have the look,” what it sounds like he means is “She looks like a lady, because she is a lady, and ladies don’t look like presidents.”

The same goes for his pivot to Clinton’s “stamina." We can and should talk about Hillary Clinton’s fitness to serve as president the same way we would any other candidate. But digging at the stamina of a woman who flies from event to event, rally to rally, policy briefing to policy briefing—and has for the thirty-plus years of her career—doesn’t even make sense. We know Clinton has the stamina to serve, so what Trump seemed to be saying is that she lacks testicles.

In perhaps the most memorable moment of the night, Trump was asked about his judgment and veered off course, claiming, “I have much better judgment than she does. There's no question about that. I also have a much better temperament than she has, you know?” The audience, who had been advised to remain silent, audibly laughed. He went on: “I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. I have a winning temperament. I know how to win.” And he then told Clinton that at an AFL-CIO event a few days back, “you were totally out of control. I said, ‘There's a person with a temperament that's got a problem.’”

Clinton responded with a genuine laugh and shimmy of the shoulders that basically said “Well, this is just about the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to me.”

But what Trump was really saying was masked by the word that kept being repeated: temperament. What he meant was “personality,” and the implication was that Hillary Clinton’s doesn’t properly resolve the Catch-22 of being both a woman and a politician at the same time. What he meant was that sometimes Clinton is angry, and sometimes she’s aggressive, and sometimes she’s fierce. If we were describing Beyonce, everybody would be cool with that, but somehow when it’s a female pol like Clinton, those same attributes make a woman “unlikable” and “unpresidential.”

Oh, one last thing. Mr. Trump, we refer to women with their honorifics intact, just like we would do for men. We wouldn’t call Justice Sotomayor “Sonia” or Prime Minister Merkel “Angela.” You’re just a random citizen on a stage, so you’re “Donald.” She’s the former Secretary of State, so that’s “Secretary Clinton” to you.