Ryan’s Miracle Watch 1/13/19

Here are a few funnies to start the week off on the right foot…or left…your choice…

“If really good-looking people are ‘eye candy’, I guess that puts me somewhere in the ‘eye broccoli’ category.” – I shouldn’t think this one is funny, but I do.

“Orthodontists across the country are going on strike tomorrow. Brace yourself.” – Please don’t make me explain this one.

“As a mortician, I always tie the shoelaces of the dead together. That way, if there is a zombie apocalypse, it will be hilarious!” – My high school wrestling coach was a mortician, and would drive us to wresting meets in the back of his hearse. True story.

“My friend thinks he’s so smart. He said the only food that onions are the only food that make you cry. So, I threw a coconut at his face.” – Most of Ryan’s sentences used to start with “My friend…” He has so many friends…including y’all.

Okay, one more…

Janine just said, “You weren’t even listening!”. I thought, that was a weird way to start a conversation. – Another true story.

Well, I thought these were funny. Then again, I think turnips are funny…