Oscars Are Starting

I'll be commenting live about the Oscars as the evening proceeds, including my picks for each category as it's announced so you can see how well (or horribly, horribly badly) I do.

Great monologue by Chris Rock.

Original Screenplay

My Pick: Ex Machina

Winner: Spotlight

Adapted Screenplay

My Pick: The Martian

Winner: The Big Short

Not looking good for me so far...

Hope the people at the ceremony don't have to listen to the same crappy music during the commercials that I get on the live feed.

Putting black actors in scenes from Best Picture nominees was mildly amusing.

Supporting Actress

My Pick: Alicia Vikander

Winner: Alicia Vikander

I finally got one right! I am unstoppable!

Costume Design

My Pick: The Danish Girl

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

And I'm stopped. I guess MMFR had to win something to qualify for the Best Picture nomination. And the woman won't stop making her political pitch! The music means "Shut up, bitch!"

Production Design

My Pick: The Martian

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

I'm a dead man....

Make-up and Hairstyling

My Pick: The Revenant

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

I'm detecting an unnerving trend here...

Almost as unnerving as the live feed music during the commercial breaks. It's repetitive and boring -- like being trapped in an elevator with Muzak from Hell.

Cinematography

My Pick: The Revenant

Winner: The Revenant

If they had said Mad Max again I think I would have really lost it....

Film Editing

My Pick: Mad Max: Fury Road (I've got them this time hehhehheh)

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

That was scary -- lost the live feed during Angela Basset's Tribute to Will Smith.

Sound Editing

My Pick: The Martian

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

That's okay - I got the next one for sure! And did he just say "F***ing Mad Maxers"?

Sound Mixing

My Pick: Mad Max: Fury Road

Winner: Mad Max: Fury Road

Told Ya I had this one.

Visual Effects:

My Pick: Ex Macnina

Winner: Ex Machina

I noticed this year's "Shut Up and Get Off the Stage" music is "Die Valkure". Yogi Berra would appreciate that -- it's the opera where the fat lady sings -- that means "IT'S OVER!"

The only Oscar ceremony where they sold Girl Scout Cookies.

Animated Short Film

My Pick: World of Tomorrow

Winner: Bear Story

Hey I only saw the one so I picked it.

Halfway through the awards, I won 5 and lost 7. If I was playing baseball I'd make a huge salary.

Animated Feature

My Pick: Anomalisa

Winner: Inside Out

I did say on the prediction show that Pixar is very hard to beat...and then picked "Anomalisa" anyway. What a jerk.

Supporting Actor

My Pick: Tom Hardy

Winner: Mark Rylance

Documentary Short Subject

My Pick: Last Day of Freedom

Winner: A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness

Also wins the award for longest title.

Documentary Feature

My Pick: Cartel Land

Winner: Amy

Also wins the award for shortest title -- "Room" thought they were a shoo-in for this until this film was nominated.

"In Memoriam" -- This was always my wife's favorite part of the Oscars, which is actually kind of morbid when you stop and think about it.

Live Action Film

My Pick: Shok

Winner:Stutterer

Foreign Language Film

My Pick: Theeb

Winner: Son of Saul

V.P. Joe Biden just said he was the least-qualified man in the room -- finally he admits it.

Music Original Score

My Pick: The Hateful Eight

Winner: The Hateful Eight

Music Original Song

My Pick: Writing's on the Wall

Winner: Writing's on the Wall

I may never be TMOA Idol, but at least I know music.

Best Director

My Pick: The Revenant

Winner: The Revenant

This is the point where there are more commercial breaks than awards. JUST END ALREADY!

Best Actress

My Pick: Jennifer Lawrence

Winner: Brie Larson

Now I know where the crappy Muzak came from.

Best Actor

My Pick: Michael Fassbender

Winner:​ Leonardo DiCaprio

It's just not my night.

Best Picture:

My Pick: The Revenant

Winner: Spotlight

And Ken dances naked in the living room! He's such a happy man.

So I picked 8 out of 24, not my best outing but also not my worst. The big winner in terms of quantity was "Mad Max: Fury Road" with an impressive six awards in the technical categories. Best Presenter's speech was Louis C.K. Best Acceptance speech was Alejandro G. Inarritu who showed how to accept an award with class. Best musical performance was Lady Gaga with her stirring interpretation of "Till It Happens to You", surrounded by victims of college rape. And the comedy highlight of the night were the Minions.

And it's waaaaaay past my bedtime.

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