“You know, some people are able to tell by the type of sex they have had that they will get pregnant? Not taking into consideration the menstrual cycle, they can just tell by the intensity and stuff? I’m not one of those people, I always have intense sex, it is always good. I just keep track of my menstrual cycle not to get pregnant or intercept if I suspect I might be by taking the emergency pill, you know how it is

I am one of the lucky girls who has their menstrual cycle figured out to the dot. It is regular and very predictable. I can tell when I am ovulating, the actual day the period will come, I notice signs and symptoms like a Greek oracle, you know this.

So when my period was five days late I knew something was wrong. I traced back the last time I had sex in the danger zone, you know the days I know I could get pregnant, I remembered I did but I took the pill the next day. I also remembered instead of taking the next pill after 12 hours, I forgot but still took it. I honestly didn’t think that could be it, but I guess it was. The guy must have mutant sperms cause damn, that’s fertility on fleek. The first guy to get me pregnant… cheers to that, right.

I spent the week after noticing that ‘i was late’ anticipating the probability of getting a period; checking my underwear every time I felt anything ‘drop’, deep down I knew I was pregnant. I mean, come on, I have a regular cycle, you know this. Sure the emergency pill messes up your cycle but 12 days is pushing it.

I could feel my body changing. I know that sounds like I am exaggerating but I am being honest with you, I just knew. I started becoming sensitive to little things like the smell of my hair food, it started to annoy me. The following week I was accumulating saliva in my mouth every-time after waking up, ensuing endless pitting unless I brush my teeth…

yep, I just knew I was pregnant. But being me, I still had hope my period will show up because some symptoms (right about that time) were so much like period signs.

By week 3 I was craving things I normally wouldn’t crave. I know, sounds like a stretch but I could. I could feel my tummy hurt in weird ways. By week 3 I knew I had to get rid of it, You know this, I don’t want a baby, I just DON’T. No second guessing myself, no sentiments, the little turd had to go.

That’s where having friends who are doctors come in. I mean thank God for UNIMA right? Friends in all sectors, you know this. So I called my doctor friend and asked for abortion pills. I told her the truth, they were mine and needed them as soon as possible. The fact that she asked ‘eeh eeh, ndiyandani?’ just showed kuti I needed to get rid of it, you know this. If people didn’t know who I was screwing, that’s fucked up already.

She came over to my office, gave me specific instructions: ‘Here are 12 pills, you only need 6 really but who knows, sometimes they don’t work so use the rest when nothing happens. Put one under your tongue, one left cheek, one right cheek and let them dissolve for about 30 minutes and then wash them down with water. I could insert them in your vagina, that’s another option but this way works as well. After 6 hours repeat, by then something will happen. Contact me for anything else and if you feel extra sick or just to talk, I’m here.’ I told her I will hola when I take them.

But of course I had to wait for 28 days to pass, MAYBE my period was shy and would turn up in the next cycle. Koma hah! The remaining days as I waited for the period that would never show up just confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. I cant quite pinpoint how I could tell but I could. My body was just doing things it never does… I was depressed… I was ever hungry… my body wasn’t just mine anymore.

The moment of truth came, went to the pharmacy, bought 4 pregnancy tests at K260… hahaha… so cheap right… I peed in a cup and almost immediately the two lines appeared confirming that I was pregnant, even my urine looked different; cloudy and weird basi. I took another test, kuti mwina, mwina the universe was just playing jokes, but nah, two lines, crystal clear… I was with child.

It was a Monday actually, I decided to do all this on a Monday so that if I bleed heavily, at least by weekend it should be over so that I could still go out and maybe even have sex…you know this, you know me… I’m that serious when it comes to getting laid; can’t let an abortion pussy block me.

I got home, immediately reached for the pills and took them as instructed and I texted my doctor friend that I had taken the pills. She told me to contact her if anything out of the ordinary happens. It was 6pm when I took the first 3 and waited, started watching series, nothing much really. I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to observe everything and I didn’t want to sleep past 6 hours since I had to take dose number 2. I mean missing the time to take pills got me into this mess in the first place.

Before midnight I started feeling feverish… I mean it was October, hot as hell but I found myself shivering, freezing, and grabbing an extra bedding. At midnight I took the next dose… a few minutes later the fever disappeared and the annoying pain came in. Honestly, I expected hell, kugudubuka and stuff but it was just normal period like pain just more annoying. Then I got the urge to pee, I went to the bathroom and while peeing I felt several “clots” fall into the toilet, I knew it was the little turd… gone. There was a lot of blood and I prepared myself for heavy bleeding.

I didn’t take the rest of the pills, I just stayed up all night observing the blood flow. After about 2 hours the heavy duty pad was completely filled… changed. Before I knew it, it was morning and I felt fine. I thought I wouldn’t go to work, but I did. It was just normal bleeding after that, with a few clots here and there.

By Saturday it was down to just a few spots… I even got laid. Zija zoti magazi aAbortion amapha, zabodza. Osamapusisana… take it from me… my doctor friend confirmed it… hahaha… I didn’t even feel remorse or what, its just…..”

“Good afternoon, can I take your order” the voice on the speaker finally came on.

I snapped back to reality… that was my friend giving me a response after asking her what her take on this abortion ordeal that roamed FB the past weeks was as we were waiting at the KFC drive through. I was merely browsing through Facebook when I saw the marching details and shit and asked my friend “kodi za abortion’zi ukuti bwanji” and I got a story. You did notice the quotation marks at the beginning indicating its not me right?? Enanu paja mumandidziwa kuti ndine wakuti… bwezani phuma lanulo… I was like “whooah, can I share this on Pabwalo? We are back you know? And Mpambira is always on my neck to submit a story…. Hahahaha”

“Sure, so long as you don’t mention my name. Maybe someone will learn from it.”

Truth be told, if I was in her shoes, I would ABORT as well, simply because I DO NOT WANT A BABY AT THE MOMENT, basi. Inde, judge me… judge my friend… its just choice. Pro-choice doesn’t mean we choose abortion all the time, it just means give us the chance to choose what we want. Abortion would be the last resort anyway, there are several ways to avoid it koma zitakanika ngati nzangayu, kubhudhula basi.

I ordered street wise 3 by the way… Lol. I have never ordered anything else but that ku KFC…well, except the ice cream and the twister. Lol….