In the Video Gaming world, third party peripherals are necessary evil. There are the freakin’ sweet ones that definitely the whole gaming experience but then there are the really stupid ones that no one should have in their house for everyone to see.

Recently I came across the king of all ridiculous third party peripherals. It was so cool and so well thought it, I think I might buy it. Of course, I wouldn’t be using it though. Oh no, this baby is to be used the lady of the house. No longer does your female friend or Significant other have to feel left out while you rock out to Guitar Hero or Rock Band. Now she can join you in your quest to be a virtual rock star. And do it in style.

Today was an especially dark and dreary day in Pallet town. Nurse Fiona is stuck in the Pokemon Center left with nothing to do. Of course she has nothing to do because Pallet town has become a very boring place once Pokemon Trainer Merv left.

“I hope he goes out there and catches them all. He was all about that.” said Nurse Fiona as she sits at the counter playing with her Chansey.

She’s about to doze off when suddenly she hears the sound of the entrance doors sliding open. In a very autonomous response she beings to ask ‘How may I…’ until she realizes who it is.

Pokemon Trainer Merv takes a cool step into the Pokemon Center. He closes his eyes and takes in the atmosphere taken aback by all the nostalgia. The sound of 8-bit music fills his ears as he opens his eyes and smiles at Nurse Fiona.

Nervously, Nurse Fiona finishes her greeting “H-How may I help you?”.

“I’m just here to use the PC,” Pokemon Trainer Merv responds in a very non chalant manner.

As he cooly walks over to the PC, Nurse Fiona takes notice to the shiny badges that Trainer Merv has proudly displayed on his vest and his belt which was neatly lined with six pokeballs.

“Wow, six out of the eight gym badges. He must be really good.” Nurse Fiona thought to herself.

As Trainer Merv finishes up with some pokemon transfers, he begins to cooly walk back toward the entrance to leave.

Nurse Fiona begins to autonomously say goodbye, “Thank you! Come back…” before she is interrupted by another Pokemon Trainer coming in as Trainer Merv is leaving.

Trainer Merv stops dead in his tracks and is as equally stunned by the new Trainer who has just walked in. This Trainer walks just as cooly as Trainer Merv over to the Pokemon Center counter and places his pokeballs into the healing tray.

“I see you’ve been busy Merv. It’s nice to see you again,” says the trainer.

Trainer Merv responds, “I see you have been too, BUG CATCHER KYLE!!”

Announcer: “A strange twist has just occurred!!! Just as Pokemon Trainer Merv is leaving his home town Pokemon Center, Bug Catcher Kyle enters!!! Who is this Mysterious trainer?? How does he know Pokemon Trainer Merv?? Answers will come and Pokemon Battles will happen!!!! NEXT WEEK!!!

That statement is true but I feel like I have so much work today I’ll still be here for another 6 months.

Regardless, I feel compelled to share this article that I have come across about a certain topic that many of us don’t mention in our daily lives. Actually, that’s not true if you’re a man and you just took a HUGE one. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now.

That’s right.

Poo.

I’ll let the article speak for it self, but first, I’ll give a small excerpt that I found rather “moving”. (see how I made that into a funny?)

“You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water,” Oz instructs. “If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, ‘plop, plop, plop,’ that’s not right because it means you’re constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water.” Oz makes a “swoosh” sound — the sound of an Olympian excrement champion.