And who could blame her at this point? Lucky biotch. My mom’s couch is exactly where I want to be right about now. The problem with that is I’d probably gain ten pounds before the kid was born because my sisters would use me as an excuse to go to our favorite Mexican restaurant every day for lunch (with Dairy Queen for dessert obviously). So vedging at the parents’ house is always great for the heart and nerves but not so great on the waistline. I’m sure Kate Middleton doesn’t have these kinds of problems. Carole and Pippa Middleton are just as body conscious as she is. But, if there’s any justice in the world, she’s working on a pint of rocky road while watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Let’s let her have this little reprieve. She can go back to making us feel like shit after the kid is born.

Besides, would you rather her waddle behind Prince William on the polo field? He’s finishing up his charity match today but should be back by her side in no time. I wonder if they’ll wait it out at the Middletons together or if he’ll take her back to Kensington Palace. I’m sure she’d prefer to stay with her mom and dad until the labor. Kate Middleton probably doesn’t feel comfortable screaming, “Jesus Christ why is this taking so long?!” in a centuries old palace. I get that.

But I wonder if this little vacay will hurt the Middletons and their somewhat building favor with the people. A poll was just released that said most of the country thinks Carole and Michael should play a larger role in the royal baby’s life than Charles and Camilla. I’m not sure if that has much to do with warming up to Carole though. People still really hate Camilla. I’m not too worried though. If Kate goes into labor in Berkshire she’ll get her ass to that fancy hospital in time. She knows what is expected and she also knows the backlash if that baby is born near her parents’ house. Kate Middleton has probably heard that people snidely refer to William as William Middleton so you know she doesn’t want that for her kid. But please. As if anyone is going to rip on that little monster. The Prince/Princess of Cambridge is the second coming and no one, especially not the Middletons, is going to let it pretend for one second it’s half-common – Berkshire born or not.