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Mrsmamasboy

How do you know when to quit?

Desperate for advice here. How do you know when to call it quits? And when you figure that out what’s the first step? I have had enough. I’m 31, I’ve been married for 5 years. My oldest is 3 and when I got pregnant with him sh** started to get real weird with my DH and his mum. It’s just the two of them. He’s an only child turned surrogate husband when he was 12 after his father left. 20+ years later his mother still hasn’t moved on. She made “honey do” lists for him to do at her house until recently. Our first marriage anniversary i was forced to go to dinner with her (apparently I married into a packaged deal) She wanted us to go to her house to open gifts she got us (like Christmas) I said absolutely not so she forced us to open them in the back of her car while parked at the restaurant... the gifts were for our anniversary, it was big basket of stuff individually wrapped. Everything I opened she said “oh no that’s for DH” which included cooking utensils (he’s a chef) and UNDERWEAR! My MIL forced us to go to dinner for our FIRST marriage anniversary, asked my DH to share a meal with her, forced us to open gifts in her car that were for “us” and gave her son fricken underwear. I swear I’m being pranked. Fast forward to our 5th anniversary she refused to say happy anniversary to me or give us a card (forget about the undies) but she said happy anniversary to him (she’s confused) because she was upset I didn’t want her taking my two year old to go to the doctors with her. On a scheduled day she babysat she said she absolutely couldn’t reschedule this apt and wanted to take my 2yr old. I asked her to reschedule she said she couldn’t so I found someone else to babysit. The apt she “couldn’t reschedule” was for her FLU shot! She babysat 3 out of 5 days of the week and she couldn’t schedule the FLU SHOT on a day she didn’t babysit. Check out MIL ruins Mother’s Day for more insight about this amazing woman. My DH is just as guilty. I have been emotionally abused. They are very odd together and it got worse after we had kids. She is so mean to me and my DH doesn’t seem to care. Today, my mother was supposed to babysit our two kids but my father just had surgery and was very sick so we asked MIL to watch the kids. I said “Good morning. Thank you...” she said “it’s not a thank you.. (annoyed ‘Ha ha’) I had plans...” meanwhile I already know DH is coming home from work so she can go to lunch so her plans have not been ruined. I said “what? I was just saying thank you. I will stay home from work if you have plans that can’t be changed.” DH owns a business. Can’t ever take time off for my events. Just recently I had a bridal shower, for my best friend. I am a bridesmaid. DH promises he will be home to watch the kids but he didn’t. I had to get a sitter. And MIL says “doesn’t she understand you NEED to be at work?” Mind you, he doesn’t get paid whether he’s there or not. But he makes it home last minute for MIL to go to lunch with her girlfriends. Then they went faucet shopping for her house. They are both confused. Or maybe I am the one confused? Is he my husband or hers?
DH says he is so angry his mom is always so rude to me and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just say “your welcome” after I nicely thanked her this morning. But Then he goes faucet shopping with her as if they are married and living together. Then he went back to work and I stayed home alone with the kids per usual. I love him but clearly he’s too in love with his mom there’s not much love left for me. What’s a girl to do? I’m so filled with so many emotions I can’t think straight.

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