Category Archives: Lessons Learned

Respect is such an important characteristic in our daily life. The term is used with children, friends, loved ones, or significant others when describing a value that is needed in any type of relationship. What does respect mean to you? Are you being respected?

The truth is that, when love or care lacks respect, it may be self-serving. Definition of self-serving-serving one’s own interests, especially without concern for the needs or interests of others. A disrespectful individual is concerned with how you make them feel, how you can serve them, how you reflect on them.

A loved one will respect you, and value you for you, as a full-fledged, thinking person. Someone who respects you will take joy in your independence and honor your boundaries.

Wondering if you have relationships built on respect? Here are signs of respect:

You are listened to. A sign of respect is that someone really listens to what you have to say. He or she isn’t just using the time you spend speaking as an opportunity come up with his or her next point; rather, instead they are listening to you carefully and responding accordingly.

One is proud of you as a person. If you are respected, one is proud of you and proud to be with you, independently of how you make him or her look.

They take you seriously. For example, a friend may ask you for advice. They might not take your advice, but they take what you have to say under serious consideration.

Your friend respects your wishes or boundaries, and stops when you say, “Stop or please don’t do that.” If someone respects you, he or she will honor your wishes when it comes to you saying no or stopping.

Your friend is honest with you. A friend will respect you and will not lie or try to shield you from uncomfortable news, nor will he or she insult your intelligence by lying about their own actions.

He or she doesn’t waste your time or disregard communication. Being constantly late, unresponsive, and unreliable are signs of disrespect. A good friend won’t make you wait around for hours when you have something planned, nor will he or she ignore your communication such as texts and calls.

Your friend or loved one doesn’t control your free time or tell you who you have to be with. They let you make choices. If your friend or loved one doesn’t trust you, it’s an indication that he or she doesn’t respect your ability to make good choices and to keep promises. You will be respected as an independent person and will trust you to handle yourself.

When he or she has a disagreement, you do it with dignity. As friends and loved ones, you argue at one point or another. Disagreements are natural. But you need to be respected, even when you’re angry with each other. When you’re arguing, a partner who respects you will try to listen to what you have to say and understand your point of view, even when it’s really, really difficult. That means not being mean, and no physical violence, ever.

Being respected is very important to any relationship. Are you being respected? You deserve to be respected!

This week I truly understood the word acceptance. I learned it in my workplace, I learned it in my personal life and I learned it in decisions and choices that may have come to me but were out of my control.

Once you have acceptance, then you can have peace of mind, with clarity, of knowing to live one day at a time.

It is clear in the following poem that we can all live by:

“Serenity Prayer”

by Reinhold Niebuhr

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

How timely to have the realization of acceptance with the coming of spring which brings to us new life. As a wise person told me, “Winter may be in my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.”

Have a great day, a wonderful week, an extraordinary month, followed by years of astonishing!

P.S. Don’t forget to tell your family and friends how special they are and how much you love them.

The New Year is upon us. What will be your goals for the next year? Or should I say choices. I hope that you see next year as an opportunity, not as something to avoid. I see some people focusing on the “what if’s” versus the “what can I do?” We have all been there. Time is precious. Wise people have said, live as though it’s your last day. Sounds simple in theory, but not so. We all want to do the right thing. Some procrastinate, some don’t want to take a risk. Not saying that being careful is not a good thing, but not doing anything at all can be paralyzing. I think I like the saying, “Be all that you can be.” That statement allows for imperfections but celebrates your strengths and talents. I envy the young, not because I want to be young, but for the opportunities and experiences that are in store for them. As I use to say to my children, “Close your eyes and make a memory, remember this feeling and this wonderful moment in time.” Yes, there will be ups and downs, curves that take you right and left. But take hold of the great times. The exciting part of your journey is what you do along the way.

I read this article and I thought what better list of choices to use for our future resolutions. We can only meet our goals if we can first overcome and succeed at the following traits as a person. One step at a time….

Can any of these tips help with your Choices for 2017?

10 Ways to Be a Better Person–

Practice gratitude. This speaks both of the power of the mind/body connection and of gratitude. Gratitude attracts more goodness and positivity into life.

Let go of defensiveness. Save yourself and everybody time by skipping the excuses. Beware of denial, intellectualization, rationalization, projection and look at yourself and your life honestly. It is only when we let down our defensive wall that we can truly do our deeper work and grow.

Practice acceptance. Don’t be reactive. Don’t expend energy fighting or resisting what you can not change (other people, their feelings, their behaviors, etc.). Instead, empower yourself to change what you can (your thinking, your behaviors, your boundaries, etc.).

Forgive and let go of resentments. If for no other reason than for yourself, forgive to untether yourself from the negative experiences of the past.

Be authentic. Be genuine and real. Have the courage and confidence to be yourself. Do not say things that are false, even to yourself.

Reflect empathy. Let go of the need for judgement. Have the ability to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, consider how they might feel and reflect that back to them as appropriate.

Be direct. Say what you mean and mean what you say. The truth will set you free. Talk with the person you have issue with, rather than triangulating others. Avoid passive-aggressive tactics to get your message across (not responding to emails or calls, etc.)

Be kind and compassionate. Only say things if they are kind, necessary and true. Be of service to others. Consider the needs and feelings of others before any action.

Have integrity. Do what you say you are going to do. If things have changed and you are moving in a different direction, be honest and clear with others. Be reliable and consistent. Admit when you are wrong. Apologize and make amends as needed.

Love yourself. Practice self-compassion and self-care. Understand you are exactly as you should be and are perfectly lovable as you are. Forgive yourself and understand you are human and nobody is perfect. Celebrate your life, your unique spirit and gifts. Take excellent care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love you, want the very best for you and will help you grow.

The ten ideas came from Huffington Post.com an article written by Joyce Marter; 10 Ways to Evolve and Be a Better Person.

Thank you loyal followers. I have received a new position that has changed my free time for writing in my blogs. I so miss it, but I hope to write more throughout the holidays.

I saw this prayer that I found so fitting for this time of year when we are together with family and friends. I am so very thankful for my family, friends, my health and happiness. May everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving, may that wonderful giving and thankful spirit last throughout the year.

Today I went to a funeral of a colleague that I have worked with for the last three years. She was a dedicated educator. She gave her life to education, one student at a time. What a sad day. She was young, retirement age, two grown children. One of her children was getting married this fall, while her other child had two small children of her own. My friend spoke to me the day before her surgery about how she was looking forward to the summer and spending time with family and friends. She spoke of retiring and not working as much.

Her death was a tragedy for her family and for education. We all speak of the day that we will retire, or don’t work as much. We want to be with family and friends and spend money that we may have been saving for a long time. We try to prepare by taking care of ourselves both physically and spiritually.

Yes, every day is a blessing. But how quickly those days go by that we quickly forget the ever changing movement of time. Not only did I reflect about my friend’s death but I reflected on my own life and what is so truly important. I was so glad to be able to tell her children how special and dedicated she was. I’m sure they heard this message from others, from near and far, from those who’ve they’ve known for years or from people like me who only knew her for a few years.

I’m sure that every profession is thought of in a special way. From my own experience, education is a unique profession, we give and give and give of ourselves, hoping to make a difference in the process. Many of us don’t expect anything in return, being able to work with children is the gift. We all have so many memories of children and colleagues that have touched our lives, through tears, worry, laughter, or even just a smile. . But as I get older, I do realize that we are all replaceable. Once we are gone, someone takes our place to take up where we left off.

There is a time to leave and move on. I think we have all been conditioned that we need to work until the last moment, so we have enough to live on, and so our insurance will last, we don’t want to be bored, if we feel good we want to continue to work at the same pace. Is there a magic number that we reach in years or are we given a sign to help us with the decision of continuing on to the next phase of our life?

The last posting I had was to pause and reflect. How fitting. I do think that every day is a blessing and I am thankful for wonderful friends and family. I hope that I will be guided to do the right thing, make the right decisions at the right time.

You will be missed my friend. Yes, you did make a difference. You did change lives. You were a good mother, wife, friend and teacher. I just wish you had a chance to enjoy all the riches you deserved. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends.