Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.A public forum.Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

I still remember when my mom first read To Train Up A Child. I was in my mid-teens at the time. It was awful. She felt like she needed to do things just to irritate us (me and my siblings) so that we could "learn" to be better people and practice submission. It was bizarre and totally alienating.

When I had my son in my mid-20's, she gave me a copy of that book and one that I found to be even worse titled My First Thousand Babies (or something very similar to that - this was about 7 years ago and I haven't kept the book). The second book was all about how babies are manipulative and must be put in their place from birth, immediately put on very strict schedules, never allowed to cry... it broke my heart just reading it. Nothing ever felt so wrong as envisioning implementing the systems in these two books. It felt so incredibly foreign and a strange way to treat a little baby. But, I had no friends who were moms at the time and little support. So, I had no one to talk with about these things. That was the worst part. Fortunately, I'm independent enough to have decided that I didn't want to follow those systems, but settled for a modification of the Ezzo program. My mother approved. I wish I had never read any of those books - including Ezzo's. I'm so thankful that God kept working on my heart to pull me away from those principles. These programs caused a great division between me and my son his first six months of life, and we didn't really fully bond until around 12 months. It was horrible and my heart aches just remembering that time... I actually no longer even let my children stay the night with my mom because she still adheres to the Pearl's principles. She has done some misguided things with my son (now 6.5) that have really hurt him emotionally, hopefully temporarily.

So, thanks for posting your objections to the Pearl's books! I wholeheartedly agree with you.

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RoseOfGrace For This Useful Post:

Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

My stepmother is very pro Pearl and Ezzo. She subscribes to No Greater Joy magazine. She and I are polar opposites when it comes to parenting. It is no wonder why my brother has the issues he has. He has never had "normal" rebellion in his teen years, but when he did, he was severely punished. I, on the other hand, was told I was a HORRIBLE teen for true, normal rebellion. It's a part of growing up.

On a side note within the same vein of this topic. . .I absolutely adore my mother-in-law. We attended her Sunday School class two weeks ago when we were in Austin, and she is teaching "Boundaries with Teens" by Cloud and Townsend. Such good nuggets of wisdom.

__________________MelissaVeteran, 1994-2006.MST Survivor, Nov 1996.

Child of God since 07/1982.
Wife to Bryan, my best friend and retired soldier, since 06/2014.

A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.