Bonus Bananas Mar 30, 2012

1) Wall Street's Lacrosse Mafia (Business Week) - Lax bros are everywhere on Wall Street, as evidenced by an earlier thread this week pondering when it's appropriate to get your "flow" back. But did you know that silver spoon sport might get you a job on the Street?

2) End Of Hedge Fund Marketing Ban Nears (FIN Alternatives) - One of the unexpected "benefits" of the recent passage of the JOBS Act is that it's no longer against the law to advertise for hedge funds. But don't get too excited, because your average hedge fund probably doesn't want the general public to see their performance anyway:

3) THE TRUTH ABOUT HEDGE FUNDS: They Win And You Lose (Business Insider) - This one might just blow your mind. It stands to reason that it's going to be tough to show clients a steady return when you're charging 2 and 20, but this is way worse than even I would have imagined. Don't look at this infographic on a full stomach.

4) Revisiting Harvard's most successful MBA class (CNN Money) - With monkeys getting accepted to B-school right and left these days, I thought it might be fun to share this article highlighting the HBS class of 1949. Upon graduating HBS, they all took jobs earning less than $4,000 a year. Yup, you read that right. Now that's basically what it costs to attend B-school per month. Good thing it's easy to get student loans, right?

5) THE NEXT SHOE DROPS: More Than 25% Of Student Loans Are Already Delinquent... (Business Insider) - Or maybe it's not such a good thing. The student loan bubble is getting ready to burst battery acid all over the American taxpayer. With over a Trillion dollars outstanding (you're fuckin'-A right Trillion gets a capital T), now more than $250 billion of it is delinquent. Ruh-roh, Raggy.

6) Obama Relies on Debt Collectors Profiting From Student Loan Woe (Bloomberg) - Luckily, the President has a plan to get on top of all these student loan delinquencies. What is it? Well, it starts with his boys calling you at 2 am demanding the money, escalates to informing your boss and co-workers that you're a dead beat with money problems, and winds up with a garnishment of your wages. All the while dirtbag professional collectors get to harass you! Problem solved!

7) A security patch for your brain (The Economist) - Your password security sucks. How do I know that? Because so does mine and everyone else's. We've all been trained to create passwords that are difficult for us to remember but easy for hackers to guess. It's time to turn the tables, and here's how. Correct horse battery staple. That's what she said.

8) Why Don't Young Americans Buy Cars? (The Atlantic) - This piece frets over the apparent rejection of materialism by the Millennial generation as it pertains to American cars. And here the whole time I just thought it was a combination of the facts that we're in shitty economy and Detroit makes terrible cars. But what do I know?

9) Housing Hype: Recovery Turns to Relapse? (CNBC) - Don't go firing up that MBS machine just yet. While housing looked like it was in a sort of pseudo-recovery for a while, it isn't. The new numbers are pretty horrendous and it's probably gonna be a long time before things get better.

10) The 5 Ballsiest Easter Eggs Hidden in Video Games (Cracked) - I know we have a lot of gamers on WSO, and the anti-social side of my personality has always loved a mean-spirited joke. Well, here are a couple of doozies. My favorite is the educational game that was programmed to curse at the children if they got impatient and clicked the mouse too many times in a row. Good stuff. Impatient little bastards.

The Video of the Week this week is the trailer for a new Adam Sandler - Andy Samberg movie called That's My Boy. I've pretty much given up on Adam Sandler movies. His early stuff was fantastic, but lately he's been the box office Angel of Death. However, Andy Samberg is hilarious, and if a Sandler movie has any hope of being funny it pretty much has to have Samberg in it. Plus there's a Wall Street connection: after growing up raised by a loser like Adam Sandler, Samberg's character goes on to become one of the youngest hedge fund managers on the Street. Hilarity ensues:

That's it for this week, fellas. I'm out all week next week because I'm travelling in Frankfurt. Let me know what you think of this week's bananas, and have a fantastic weekend!

Comments (11)

Greg Smith, the former Goldman Sachs executive who became an instant sensation when he ripped the Wall Street investment bank with a resignation letter published as an Op-Ed piece in the New York Times, has scored a $1.5 million advance to write a memoir of his experiences.

Epic facepalm. So...is this guy a total idiot who never understood GS from the getgo, or an intelligent person who saw an opportunity and drove a bus through it? For what it's worth, I'm enjoying all the muppet references since the op-ed.

The same goes for Boston and New York, where the sales and trading desks of Goldman Sachs (GS), Morgan Stanley (MS), and other Wall Street firms are stocked with former All-Americans. Among the 11 members of the Duke lacrosse team’s 2006 senior class, nine went to work in finance. (When charges were filed against one senior, David Evans, JPMorganChase (JPM) pulled its job offer; Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack, who played football at Duke, later offered Evans a place at his firm.) Of the two seniors who didn’t pursue a career in banking, one is currently an assistant property manager working in real estate, and the other is an associate attorney at a personal injury law firm.

To unlock this content for free, please login / register below.

Connecting helps us build a vibrant community. We'll never share your info without your permission.
Sign up with email or if you are already a member, login hereBonus: Also get 6 free financial modeling lessons for free ($200+ value) when you register!

Popular Content

My not-so-secrets to success<em>Mod note (Andy): Throwback Thursday, this post originally went up on 3/2/12.</em>
In the past few months, I've been approached on a few occasions by college-aged folks asking the typical question: how to succeed on the street from a less-than-stellar undergrad background....

Hit Rock BottomLong time lurker, but first time poster here looking for advice. So anyways, I graduated from a non-target, but very well respected school last year with a finance degree. Despite having a 3.87, two boutique PE <span class='keyword_link'><a...

Learn How to Decode Body Language from an FBI GuruThis is the next book review in a series of installments that will be coming from <a href="http://www.deconstructingexcellence.com/">DeconstructingExcellence.com</a>. See my other book summaries on WSO <a...

AMA: HY/Distressed Analyst at NYC based Mid-Sized Credit Hedge FundHey all, long time lurker first time poster. Just wanted to share my background and answer questions for those interested.
Background: 7 years of investment research experience prior to b-school, mostly in equities (some credit) with half of that on the buyside at a hedge fund; sectors...

"RBS Is Going To Go Ahead And Take Those First Year Job Offers Back"Ouch.... Will this happen at any other banks or just RBS? Anyone personally affected by this? Is RBS a sinking ship?
From NYT Dealbook: [quote]“Hearing from incoming summer analysts (now soon to be full-time hires) that their offers were rescinded and they were all given a 10k...

I miss the 90s/ early 2000'sThat was, in my opinion, the GOAT time period for music:
- Incubus
- Staind
- Vertical Horizon
- Linkin Park
- Puddle of Mudd
- Nirvana
- Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Lenny Kravitz
Etc.
Every time I just lay back and listen to any of the above I have an eargasm.
Post your favorite...

BIG NEWS: 2014 WSO Compensation Report is OUT!Dear WSO Community,
I'm pleased to announce the release of the <strong><a href="http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/wso-annual-compensation-reports">2014 WSO Compensation Report</a></strong>! We had another great year with even MORE entries than last year...

I Guess That's One Way to Pay for College<em>Mod note: Best of Eddie, this was originally posted on 2/11/14.</em>
God, I love the free market. This is absolutely hilarious. Call me old fashioned, but I look back with fondness on the days when a guy could walk into just about any strip club and witness the cold war...

Rescue Financing / Control InvestmentsI am senior at a Non-target UG who signed a FT offer with a top-tier BB (GS/JPM) to be in a desk analyst role focused on distressed credit situations (after spending the past summer there).
I have...

Blackstone PE London HierarchyHi,
Does anyone have knowledge of the progression at Blackstone PE, London?
I have seen people with 2/3yrs experience at a top bank join Blackstone as an analyst (the same as people who join straight...

Warburg Pincus Interview IndiaHi there,
I have an interview with Warburg Pincus (Asia) for the role of an Associate. I would love to know what to expect in the interviews. Any thoughts will be hugely appreciated. Thanks!

Morningstar RatingsDoes anyone here have a Morningstar premium subscription? If so how helpful is it and how accurate have the ratings/recommendations by Morningstar been?
Also how is the Mutual Fund/ETF info compared...

Citi housing help!Hi, I am an incoming Citi FT 1st yr analyst trying to get a place in Manhattan. Since I do not have any background living in NYC before, I need your help. (I already searched through the site for...

Numerical Reasoning ScreeningWhen you do the numerical reasoning online test, do the banks take into account your CV in order to go into the next round or they just reject the ones who didn't make it to score at their bare...

Merits of an MBAHi- long time lurker, first time poster.
I landed in Equity Research out of undergrad at a firm ranked between 5-10 in the Institutional Investor equity research poll covering an energy subsector. I...

Top jobs with no travel with a carHi guys,
I was wondering if there are any top positions(high finance, industry, etc.) that require no travelling with a car. I don't mind flying/taking a cab, etc. For personal and physical reasons,...

questions about decision makingWill a bank ever bs and say you're still in the running when that's not the case after you followed up just because they don't like to be bothered with more questions?
Also when does the situation...

Advice Need from other Consultants Hi WSO, I created a new login to protect my identity. I took an offer within a Big 4 MC group in January. I was recruited into a product group from industry as a Sr Asso, ( I'm post-MBA).
I...