Meta

Kicking one butt at a time

Month: August 2014

I love summer. I like spring and fall too, but summer is the bomb! Why? Swimming, beach bumming, biking, hiking, gardening, etc., and it can all be done wearing shorts or less. Oops, I forgot to mention winter. This is what I think about winter: Being cold sucks.

I also like the sudden summer storms. Have you ever experienced one in the South? The sensation is like being transported to the other world of Fae, or as Jim Butcher would put it, the Nevernever. At one moment it is hot, and the sweat is running down your back like water from an over used dishtowel; and the next, you are shivering because the wind has suddenly picked up and the temperature has dropped at least 10°F . The sun starts to fade as the dark clouds rush in. All this takes just a couple of minutes. Then the rain starts. First in little, thin bits of spittle, but then fully formed fat droplets start to bomb the earth. Something about such a sudden change in weather is extremely exhilarating. Maybe it is the power of the weather, a touch of something that is untamed and will remain that way forever.

One thing that I don’t quite love about summer is the bug onslaught. I know all those gnawing, chewing, biting, stinging insects are necessary to the ecological balance of nature (blah, blah) and I try to do the right thing by gardening with organic methods. However, the insects don’t appreciate my efforts. They still try to make a meal out of me every chance they get.

Assailant #1: The mosquito. I don’t care what the experts say; mosquitoes are pack hunters capable of stalking prey (me). I think they have surveillance set up so they know when I am in range. It’s no joke; from the time I open the patio door to the time I begin drenching myself in bug spray, I’ve already accumulated at least three more new bites. It can’t be by chance. THEY KNOW.

A week’s worth of combat supplies. Running low, it looks like.

Assailant #2: Spiders. I actually started out liking spiders because they are tremendously helpful in an organic garden. They eat all sorts of bugs that would otherwise mess with my veggies. Alas, they don’t appreciate the fact that I appreciate them. It never fails; no matter how careful I am, some spider decides I look like an aphid and takes a bite out of me. Spider bites don’t hurt much more than mosquito bites, but they take a lot longer to heal. I swear my legs look like they are in a constant state of leprosy recovery.

Assailant #3: Ants. For the most part, ants don’t bother me unless they happen to be fire ants. I can’t seem to kill them, but by continuously treating their mounds (with organic methods of course) I’ve convinced them to move over to the neighbor’s yard. (Shhhhhhh).

Assailant #4: Hornets. For the longest time, I was deathly afraid of any sort of buzzing bee: honey bees, dirt daubers, bumble bees, carpenter bees, you name it. However, over the years, I’ve mellowed out and can tolerate being around them. It’s the hornets I still have a problem with. They are just flat out mean. Even if you aren’t bothering them, they want a piece of you. That is one species that is in serious need of anger management. Sorry hornets, and screw organic methods, if I find your nest I am blasting you with nuclear waste.

Don’t be fooled by his cuteness

I’ll be sorry to see summer go. It seems like it went by too fast this year. Although, I do enjoy autumn, not as much as summer, but I still like it. It isn’t so much about the cool mornings or evenings; it’s more about the bugs. They will be dying soon. HA! Take that you little people eaters.

Oh – Just because I feel like this cannot go unshared. Here is some bonus footage from my mini-vacation in Myrtle Beach, NC. It’s Elvis! (sort of).