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Darkness falls like thunder all around my bedLeaving little chance for sleep again tonightI stumble to another room and there upon the wallPure innocence in Tri-X black and white

Our newborn hopes and promises stripped of all pretense Come spilling like a fountain from the frame Emotions washing over me the image holds much moreThan 8 by 10 could possibly contain

You turned your camera toward the mirror caught our spirits in contrast Were you focused on the future or were you looking to the pastI still remain a captive of this scene that you devisedAnd more so by the mystery that’s there within your eyes

Did your life unfold in colors more than your lens revealsWas your heart exposed to things you never dreamedIs there something deep inside you just beyond your reach A precious jewel that’s yet to be redeemed

The ticking of the mantel clock the scratch of pen to pageCompanions to this midnight sleepless mindThe ghost trapped in this photograph unwilling now to shareThe answers to the questions that I find

Nice one, James. Do you think maybe it could do with a little more variation melodically? The chorus is pretty much the same as the verses, so what you have is basically the same 4 lines sung 7 times.

I like the thoughtful lyrics a lot. The one thing I wasn't 100% sure about was the first line. The idea of darkness falling like thunder is certainly unusual, which is obviously a good thing, but I had a bit of a problem picturing/hearing that. Maybe if it was a low rumbling thunder. I had a clap of thunder in my mind.

Another impressive piece. Really, you have a wonderful control of language—concise imagery that really adds substance to your tunes. I do wish there was a bit more melodic differentiation on the chorus here—some distinctive hook to grab the ear. It actually works just fine on this piece, but having listened to a number of your pieces, you’re such a good player, songwriter, and singer that I’d love to see you get more daring with the melodies and chord changes in your songs. Just my two cents, which, as they are in real life, are pretty much worthless, but there it is.

Another impressive piece. Really, you have a wonderful control of language—concise imagery that really adds substance to your tunes. I do wish there was a bit more melodic differentiation on the chorus here—some distinctive hook to grab the ear. It actually works just fine on this piece, but having listened to a number of your pieces, you’re such a good player, songwriter, and singer that I’d love to see you get more daring with the melodies and chord changes in your songs. Just my two cents, which, as they are in real life, are pretty much worthless, but there it is.

You are incredibly talented.

Regards,

Deej

Many thanks and a good laugh too. Your wish is my wish, more chords etc. but playing the 5-string banjo, fiddle and a few other instruments with other folks has kept this 4 year old guitar picker with a limited amount of time to learn and incorporate what my friend John Hartford called "fancy chords". Still learning.

Another possibility--especially if you feel locked in with your lead vocal and its humble range--would be to add higher note block harmonies in choice spots. Especially the "you turned your camera" part which seems like it's the chorus. Melodically, it's hard to tell, since the chorus enters with the vocals in the same general area, and the guitar arrangements remains unvaried.

But the overall performance is pretty nice.

Mike

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choiceFortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)from the song "Songs of Love"from the album "Casanova" (1996)