Training Camp Postcard: Houston Texans

Our reporter spent the day at Houston Texans training camp in Houston. Here are his notes.
> Some 500 fans waited outside the Texans facility yesterday after practice to get player autographs and ask the players if they had any inside hookups for Cowboys tickets.
> Matt Schaub has the starting quarterback job wrapped up, while Dan Orlovsky and Rex Grossman are battling for the third-string job. The backup job has been given to paperwork requesting a forfeit, which will be filed with the league office should Schaub get injured this season and be unable to play.
> Head coach Gary Kubiak is stressing defense in camp and has therefore switched to a hairspray that promises to keep it's hold in rain, wind and extreme humidity.
> Rick Perry, the Republican governor of Texas, has suggested the state could secede. Roger Goodell's wife, Jane Skinner, is an anchor on the Republican cheerleading Fox News. Is this all a plot for Goodell to expand the NFL into a new country?
> Sources say Reggie Bush broke up with Kim Kardashian because Texans defensive end Mario Williams has been doing her this whole time, only much, much better.
> Did you ever notice that the star eye on the Texans logo just makes it look like the steer is dead? Just saying  probably not the best image for a franchise that has never made the playoffs.