I'm not afraid of snakes, or toads, or bugs, or worms, or mice,The things that girls are scared of, I think are awful nice.I'm pretty brave, I guess; And yet I hate to go to bed,For, when I'm tucked up warm and snug and when my prayers are said,Mother tells me "Happy dreams!" and takes away the light,And leaves me lying all alone and seeing things at night.

Sometimes they're in the corner, sometimes they're by the door,Sometimes they all just creep and crawl across the bedroom floor;Sometimes they come when I'm asleep, sometimes when I'm awakeSo softly and so silently, they make me scream and shake.Sometimes they are as black as ink, and other times they're whiteBut colour makes no difference when you're seeing things at night.

Once, Mother caught me being bad, fighting in the street,And Father sent me up to bed without a bite to eat.I heard some noises in the dark and up my ears did prickThose things were gathered all around and planning something sick.I was so very scared that time, I got an awful frightIt's always when I'm bad that I start seeing things at night.

Lucky thing I'm not a girl, or I'd be scared to death.Since I'm a boy, I duck my head and then I hold my breath.When I hear something horrible, crawling up the stairsI promise to be better and I always say my prayers.I'm certain that's the only way that I can make it rightWhen I've been very wicked and start things at night!

And so, when other evil kids tempt and coax me into sin,I try to squash the devil's voice that urges me within.At night the things creep closer and they aren't very nice,They want to eat me up without even thinking twice!Eventually these evil things will drag me out of sightI hope I don't keep doing wrong, and seeing things at night!

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a fewtrifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you canpunish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant'sarm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached hisartificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.