Search

Today I find myself thinking about stuff. It’s an overcast morning in Orange County and my apartment looks a little forlorn in this grey light, as if it already knows about the dismantling that is coming.

I have lived by myself for the past three years, in a one bedroom apartment I found myself. Everything in it has been chosen by me.

The dark brown fireplace my brother-in-law and I made from DIY plans on the Internet. The creamy white expanse of couch that proclaims me as a woman with no children in her life. The damask armchair and curlicued entrance mirror that I rescued from my parents’ house, inherited from my mother’s cousin, a self-made interior designer and man about town. The cast iron pig that stands watch from the fireplace, the smaller of the two that I spied in an antiques store in San Diego.

What stays? What goes?

Some decisions are easy. Years of collected Lucky magazines. Old clothes that I’ve reserved for those really thin days that never arrive. Books I’ve bought in twos and threes that I have never read. Gone, gone, gone. Easy, right?

But then there are the other things. Like the fireplace and the couch and my pig. Size of course will determine much of this. There is no way I can haul a six foot sofa onto a passenger airplane, nor am I willing to pay to ship it (where it likely would arrive in far worse shape than when I dragged it from my second floor apartment – it’s white and it’s huge). But it was the first couch I ever bought. All on my own. I picked it out, down to its warm, nubby fabric and delicate sloping legs.

This is the compromise that marks our big step into adulthood (and yes, I realize the irony of making this statement as a 35 year old). We agree to let go of some of the things we love. Things we cherish and adore. In exchange, we make our lives (and ourselves) a little more open, a little more inviting to someone else. Who has, one hopes, let go of some things himself.

3 Responses to “What stays? What goes?”

While you may be taking a big step, always remember, adulthood, as is life, is a process. And it is only one in the series! 🙂 I leave you with a link to one my favorite web-comics: http://xkcd.com/150/ – enjoy!