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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Kris Humphries was voted the most hated person in the NBA by Forbes magazine. For those who don't follow the NBA, Kris Humphries is about as relevant in basketball as a pair of cleats. He wasn't voted most disliked for anything he's ever done on the court, but for what he did off the court:

Marrying Kim Kardashian.

When I saw the survey results, I was surprised. Here I am thinking that the survey was completely basketball-related and it was quite the opposite. Pop Culture influenced these results. Outside of the state of New Jersey, I doubt 1 in 250 people knew who Kris was prior to him dating Kim.

I have to give the Kardashians credit for completely embedding themselves into the lives of millions of people in the country. What started as a sex tape has turned into a multi-million dollar industry. Everything they touch turns to gold which is why guys seem to flock to them.

Guess who else made the list? Lamar Odom. One of the most liked guys on the court is one of the most disliked off of it. Why? You guessed it! He also married a Kardashian. I can't remember if it's Khloe or Kourtney, but she's the one who looks like a white Wendy Williams. "How you doing?"

I could care less about Khloe and Kourtney because they're just accessories. Kim is the main course and drives the money train. Now that she's attempting to get an annulment from Kris, I'm sure she'll move on to another high profile athlete or celebrity to keep the ball rolling. And who can blame her? In a country where ignorance trends on Twitter, can you blame her for cashing in on the country's inability to care about something worthwhile?

As for Kris Humphries, milk this for all you can, dude. You'll make more off of Kim then you'll make in the NBA unless you step your game up a bit. She's a walking cash register with a big booty, so as long as you can get your face on some episodes of her show, then do so. In fact, if I were you, I'd be talking to E! about a Kris Humphries Show to tell your side of the story.

Use that Kardashian influence to collect a few more pay checks. Happy New Year, everyone!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

We all have our own idea of what is sexy. Even though this idiot tried to scientifically determine what looks good and what doesn't, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? Well, I recently came across a women's body building site, thanks to the randomness of Google, and after viewing a few photos, I thought I'd blog about it and see what my followers had to say.

Now, I'm all for fitness, but I'm just going to give my personal opinion on this: I think some ladies take things a bit too far. Being toned is one thing, but when you're bulky enough to be a tight end (no pun intended) for the Green Bay Packers, then that tends to turn me off a bit. There are varying degrees of weight lifting for women. Here's an example below of a lifter who wouldn't be considered as an extremist:

Still looks feminine despite muscles.

Okay, for a lot of guys, she still has her shape and looks feminine enough to not scare some of us off. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but we're going to do this post based on what a majority of people may think. Ladies, is the above lady acceptable by your standards? Guys, is she eligible to date in your book? Let's move on to the extremist level:

I will crush you with my thighs, puny man!

Wow. Got Muscle Milk? A bit too much? She would be for me. I can only imagine that being in bed with the lady above would be equivalent to laying down with a sack of broken bricks. Again, I'll beat a dead horse on this statement and will repeat that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, having said that once again, ladies, is Helga (I really don't know her name) a bit too much for you? Would you ever desire to have a body like hers? Fellas, do you think she'd be someone you'd love to have on your arm when going out to dinner and a movie?

I'd love to know everyone's opinion on this. What's your take on female muscle mass? As for me, softness and femininity is important to me. I'm all for a toned body, but give me someone along the scale of a Bry Jensen and I'm good.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

From the NY Times: "In Charlotte, N.C., shoppers smashed glass doors to get to the sneakers. In suburban Atlanta, the police made four arrests when a crowd broke down a door to get into a store before it opened. In Richmond, Calif., a man fired a single gunshot in the air just after a mall opened. In Louisville, officers had to stop fights that popped up among a crowd of waiting shoppers. And in a suburb of Seattle, the police used pepper spray."

I'm not a Michael Jordan fan. I enjoyed watching him play, but I've seen way too many examples of him being a bad person off of the court. He appears selfish, greedy and arrogant. Despite not being relevant as an NBA player any more, he is still very much relevant in the shoe game. Jordan's over-priced kicks still cause people to lose their minds when a new edition is released. What makes this situation even worse? These shoes weren't even new. These were the same pair released in 1995 being re-released, if that's a word.

More than 1,000 people lined up for these $180 pair of shoes in certain cities across the country. I doubt you would see 1,000 crack heads in line for free crack in front of a crack house, yet these "Jordan Heads" chose to wait on a pair of shoes that basically everyone else in the city will also own. Nothing says "having my own identity" like wearing something everyone else has, huh? And I don't want to hear anyone compare this to the iPhone or iPad. At least those products are productive and can provide entertainment. Besides, most people buy those items for personal use, they don't buy them to flaunt.

Do you remember this kid idiot?

He hid in a garbage can when a store was closed so that he could have a good spot in line when it reopened. That's the type of behavior these shoes encourage when parents are non-existent. Now, I can't blame Nike or Jordan for these actions. They do market to the youth, but then again, what company doesn't? I blame the parents because they obviously dropped the ball some where with what's important. I'm not saying that people can't buy what they want, but if you need something materialistic so badly that you're willing to participate in a scene like the above videos, then I really do question your intelligence.

And to top it all off, what really makes me mad, as a black man, is that a majority of these idiots participating in this foolishness are black. We complain about inequality in the job market and how bad the economy is. Yet, we will borrow $20 just to have enough money to pay for a pair of sneakers that we're going to see on every 3rd person who walks by in the mall.

You know what? Maybe I should buy a pair... just so I can give these people a swift kick and bury this shoe straight up their... er, uh, Merry Christmas, all! :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Okay, so it was time to renew my license, right? It expired shortly after my knee surgery and I haven't been mobile enough to get downtown to take care of it. Well, today, The Mrs. chauffeured me down to what I expected to be a horrible experience. Well, let's just say that I left from there disappointed at the DMV. What I expected to be a horrible experience that would lead to a blog post rant wound up being the most pleasant experience I've ever had there.

Why was my experience so nice? Because for just an additional $4.50 on top of my renewal fee, I could use an automatic kiosk and renew my license within minutes rather than waiting in line forever. When I arrived to the DMV, I pulled a number: 38. As I walked (hobbled on crutches) into the room, what number do they call out? 7. So, more than likely, I'd still be waiting on them to call me had I gone the traditional route. Instead, I did the kiosk. Inserted my old license, verified my address, took the photo and paid with a credit card. Seven minutes, tops! Priceless!

So, I started thinking to myself, "Self, did I enjoy this experience simply because it was fast or did I enjoy it because I didn't have to speak with anyone?"

Let's be real. Some of us want to avoid human interaction as much as possible. Now, I'm not like that because I love to talk. In fact, today, I started a conversation about my knee with a cashier at Office Depot and told her I injured myself being a stunt double for Will Smith. For some reason, she didn't believe me. I tried to convince her that the camera adds weight and shrinks height. However, I made her laugh and probably brightened her day. She'll probably remember me if I come back soon, too.

Anyhoo, the reason I chose the kiosk at the DMV was so that I could get out of the DMV before my beard grew back. I wanted speed. I didn't want to avoid human contact. But, think of how a lot of people love ATM's, self-check outs at the grocery store, shopping online, etc. Anything that keeps us from actually dealing with a person. I'm sure if we could go to a fast food restaurant without talking to a live person, we would jump at the opportunity.

Why so anti-social? The nation that did things based on eye contact and a hearty hand shake has turned into a country that communicates in 140 words or less and a text message. We're already seeing the affects of the change, too. Young people don't even know how to interview for a job because they lack the social skills to carry out a meaningful conversation. Sitting across the table from a live person is probably the equivalent of them seeing Freddy Krueger in a dream.

"So, tell me about your last job!"

How do we get it back? How do we stop a society that allows kids to sit in front of the television or gaming console without talking? Teens sitting at the dinner table with iPod earbuds in their ears. Young people texting other young people who are sitting at the same table (I've seen it happen multiple times).

At what point do we talk to one another? Or is that considered "old-fashioned" now?

Monday, December 19, 2011

Kobe Bryant joins the list of athletes to recently file for divorce (Tony Hawk, Deion Sanders and Troy Aikman to name a few). And it's for allegedly cheating. Imagine that. Kobe and his soon-to-be ex-wife, Vanessa, met when she was 18 and he was 21 on a music video set.

Back in '03, Kobe got into a scandal that almost landed him in jail as he admitted to having sex with a lady in Colorado who later accused him of rape. Well, that didn't sit well with Vanessa and it took a public apology and a $4 million dollar ring as a gift from Kobe to get back in her good graces. Now, after a 10 year marriage and two daughters, Vanessa says that she's had enough of "The Black Mamba." She seeks spousal support and custody of the two girls and let me also mention that there is no pre-nup. She may receive money that rivals Tiger's ex, Elin Nordegren.

I think this scenario is the perfect lesson for guys out there. Just because you meet someone you really like at a young age doesn't mean you're obligated to marry her. There are steps to a relationship and marriage is the ultimate step. Ultimate means "final." "Final" is a word that should make anyone think when it comes to making a decision. Most of us put more thought into a cell phone commitment of two years than we do a marriage.

I went to school with so many classmates who married their high school sweetheart only to divorce less than 10 years later. Why? Because men are stupid. Sounds harsh? Well, let me explain: a lot of men don't realize at a young age of the opportunities (women) that will come our way once we get older, smarter and established. I was in love for four years when I was 23 years old and was engaged. It would have been the worst decision I could have made in my life had I married her. Not simply because I found out she wasn't the one for me, but because I had no idea how many more women I would meet in my life who would virtually throw themselves at me for whatever reason. Luckily, the engagement dissolved and as a single man at 23 years old, I made the most of my life before my first date with The Mrs. at age 28.

Very few men mature early enough in their 20's to sustain a marriage. Even if we maintain a faithful relationship for the early part of the marriage, at some point, we start to think of what we missed. Kobe probably wanted to be the perfect husband and father when he got married. What he didn't anticipate was women in every city throwing themselves at him. I take that back. He knew that was going to happen, he just didn't know that he was going to eventually give in to it. If he would have not married Vanessa at 21, would she have waited on him? Would she have hung around and allowed him to "sew his royal oats."

Maybe. Maybe not. That's beside the point. If things are meant to be, then they'll happen, right? After all, I took The Mrs. to my high school prom as a one-time thing and a decade later, we started dating. Had we developed a relationship back when I was younger and dumber, she'd probably still hate me to this day because of my immaturity at that age.

The point I want to make to the guys is that there is no rush to get married. Now, I'm not saying date someone for 10 years or anything, but what I'm saying is live your life before you decide to settle down. Enjoy yourself. Travel. Party. Flirt. You'll never get it all out of your system, but you can at least feel as if you've lived your life to the point that you will be able to resist temptation once you're married. Some guys are mature enough to do the young marriage thing, but let's be honest and admit that most of us guys would struggle and/or fail in that situation. It's easy to say "I do..." until a hottie comes along.

Friday, December 16, 2011

I got into Facebook back around the time of my high school's 20th year reunion. It seemed like a good idea to keep up with everyone and get updates on the upcoming events. I had no idea that Facebook would later become an addiction for me.

A few months into it, my "Friends" started to grow. I was up to 50 in no time. Although I enjoyed viewing the photos of old friends, I really got into the conversations. Arguing over sports teams and politics seemed almost like a natural occurrence when it came to Facebook.

100 "Friends." 200 "Friends." 300 "Friends." And now I'm close to 500 "Friends."

I now hate Facebook. Why? Because I don't have that many friends! There are roughly three or four guys that I can honestly call "friends." Everyone else is just an associate. Maybe it was someone I worked with or maybe had some daily interaction with at one time back during high school or college. But, like Real Housewives having a show in multiple cities, sometimes things get taken just a bit too far.

Now I have people who basically know me by name-only trying to be my FB Friend. People who were a brother/sister to one of my classmates now feel as if they're close enough to be my FB Friend. They friend you and you never hear from them again. They don't comment, contribute or anything. They look at your photos to see how fat you've gotten or if your wife is fat and then you're just another number to them on their "Friend" list.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Okay, so I'm seeing the "New Year's Eve" movie advertisement for the 70th time today. This movie features an appearance by pretty much everyone in the world who has ever acted. Pretty much everyone except Andrew Dice Clay has a part in this film.

Anyhoo, these movies draw tons of women to the theaters (along with the guys who are willing to sit through the movie to get into their pants). Well, I hate to be the one to break the bad news to all of you ladies, but you know that here at the Thank, Q site: "Some things just need to be said."

Chick flicks lie. They're modern-day fairytales that never come true. They sell a pipe dream about boy meets girl, boy loses girl and boy eventually finds girl and marries her. Well, relationships don't normally work like that. In real life, it's very uncommon to see a guy leave a woman at the altar to run to the woman he truly loves. Rich men don't save prostitutes off the street to show them a better life. A guy doesn't stop banging his sexy boss simply because he's attracted to an intern who's a better fit for him.

Wake up, ladies! It doesn't work like that. These films give false hope that romance still exists behind every corner. It doesn't. Romance isn't dead, but it's on life support. So, make sure you don't leave the theater all starry-eyed and waiting on some Matthew McConaughey to bump into you on a girls' night out with your homies, okay?

To be fair, I need to speak to the fellas, too. Guys, you have to stop thinking that the next woman you meet is going to be just as good as the hooker actress from the last porno you watched. We guys will watch these pornos and then try to figure out how we can get our girlfriend/wife to do some of the things we see in them. Get real, fellas! Stop thinking that life imitates porn! Every woman you date will not be Vanessa Del Rio or Jenna Jameson (sorry, but I don't know any other porn stars).

This could be your girl... not!

Movies are fantasy. A lot of time, they show us the lives that we wish we could live. They sell a love story to the ladies that preserves hope that they'll actually find that Prince Charming. They can also sell a fantasy to us guys of a double-jointed woman who can suck a BB through a 50-foot garden hose. I have a former co-worker who claims to have watched "The Wedding Planner" over 50 times. She says that it gives her hope that true romance still exists.

Hmmmph. Well, I saw "The Transporter" for the third time the other day. It gives me hope that some day I'll be able to clear a room full of thugs with my martial arts moves.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I absolutely cannot stand nasty people! I think it should be legal to slap someone (as long as it's above the eyebrows) because some people don't have home training and need a jolt of a life lesson every now and then.

Now, I know you're wondering, "what is his definition of 'nasty'?" A homeless person? A porn star? Snooki?

No, I'm talking these two people in particular: Don't Wash Hands After Using Bathroom Guy and Don't Cover Your Mouth When You Sneeze Guy.

Today, I'm just going to discuss the latter since it's winter time and everyone has the sniffles. I'm in the doctor's office a couple of weeks ago and I'm chilling in the waiting room. There's a man, two seats over from me, who was wearing short sleeves, no jacket, on a crisp, cold morning. He kept sniffing, which was distracting me from tweeting on my phone. I kept glancing up at the man wondering how someone that has a constant sniff is too dumb to put on something warm. Then it happened... All of a sudden, without covering his mouth, this dude let out the loudest, sloppiest, wettest sneeze!

I could see the particles floating in the room after this nasty buzzard sprayed his sinuses. Now, given that I'm older, I tend to speak my mind rather than hold my peace these days. Ten years ago, I would have not said a word, but not "Older Q." He'll say anything! So, before I knew it, I was barking at the man. "Dude!," I started, "What's wrong with you? Cover your mouth!"

There was an awkward moment of silence in the room as he glared at me, but there was one other person in the room. An older woman sitting off in the corner. She broke the silence, without looking up, with a mumbling statement, "You so nasty."

I returned the glare to the man now feeling empowered by the endorsement of the lady in the corner. The man got up and went in search of a restroom although he never once looked apologetic for spreading his germs.

People, please always remember to cover your mouth when you sneeze. It's absolutely nasty to see someone sneeze all over the place. Try to think of people other than yourself and realize that no one wants to inhale your particles, okay?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I was fortunate enough to get Sonia of LogAllot and CriTeekMyBlog along with Brandon from My Own Private Idaho to join me on the Talk 2 Q Radio Show tonight! We discussed so many random topics and of course their blogs. It's Sonia's 2nd trip into T2Q, but it was Brandon's first time on the show and he's a natural.

I enjoyed talking about marketing tips with Sonia as she discussed real-time analytics and more. Brandon entertained us all with his stories about life on the road as a salesman and his transition from California to Idaho.

Be sure to check out the podcast and be entertained by two of my favorite bloggers people.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Well, for those of you wondering where I've been, then just take a look at the Robocop brace I have on my left leg. I had knee surgery on 11/15 to repair my patella tendon that I tore completely from my knee cap on 10/6.

This brace is completely uncomfortable and has pretty much kept me confined to my couch. Since I'm limited to where I can put this monstrosity, I haven't been online much and I definitely can't sit still long enough to blog about anything while my leg is propped up over here. Eventually, it will start hurting and I'll have to lean back in my seat until the pain subsides.

Hopefully, I'll be brace-less within a few weeks and I can get back into the blogging mix. Until then, please forgive the lack of posts and know that I'll probably have plenty to say once I'm able to reclaim my left leg.

In the meantime, it's a great opportunity for you all to check out my blog roll (down on the left side) and catch up with some other great bloggers that I follow. Take care!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

I've dropped tons of acronyms on you within my blog posts since Day One. But, here's one you've probably never heard of before: The EOE. The Equal Opportunity Exploiter.

Yep, we're talking VH1. I have to applaud them. I've seen "Basketball Wives 1 and 2," "Love & Hip-Hop," "Mob Wives" and now we can all look forward to "Baseball Wives." VH1 keeps it real! No just exploiting black women here. They'll exploit anyone! Black, Italian and now a couple of Latinas and some good ol' American white women!

And I do give the cast members of this show a little credit. After all, each of them are either currently married to a baseball player or were once married to one. That's better than the baby mamas saturating the "Basketball Wives" cast.

I came across this show on Facebook when one of my "friends" stated that she didn't want to watch the show because the women dressed "slutty." LOL! What? This is from someone who watches BBW, Real Housewives and Jersey Shore. Uh, ok.

Trust me, VH1 guarantees drama which guarantees ratings. People will get their modern day Jerry Springer fix and will be anxious to discuss the show on social networks. Besides, I'm sure Anna Benson (middle of photo) has the resume to provide drama. She was once named baseball's hottest wife and said if her husband ever cheated on her that she would sleep with the entire Mets organization. If that's not drama, then I'm not sure what is.

After all, Anna is a self-made woman. Dropped out of high school, stripped in Atlanta strip clubs (where she met her husband, Kris) and has made her way onto FHM's magazine cover. Don't you love a country where self-proclaimed "harlot" can turn a 10th grade education into being a millionaire's spouse and a reality TV show? God bless America!

I guess Twitter will tell all. "Basketball Wives" has single-handedly shut down Twitter from tweets from the fans who watch the show. Personally, I wish all of these shows would go away, but they're very successful in the television ratings on top of being inexpensive to produce. I don't think we're too far away from multiple all-reality show channels and the extinction of scripted television. "CSI" will be replaced by "Welfare Women With Nothing To Do." "How I Met Your Mother" will be replaced by "From Ashy to Classy." And so on and so on...

Prepare yourselves people. The EOE is on pace to kill billions of brain cells... one episode at a time.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

We all have those co-workers who come to work just for a pay check. The people who do just enough to get by and keep their job. Have you ever thought what causes a person to be that way? If not, then you're probably that person.

I had a sign on my bedroom door as a child, courtesy of my mom, that stated: "It's never enough time to do it right, but always enough time to do it over."

That sign was part of the fundamentals instilled in me that you have to be careful and precise when doing things (although The Mrs. may think otherwise of me). Everyone doesn't believe that. Some people find excuses to not be the best they can be.

Maintaining leverage in the relationships

It's amazing the amount of manipulation that goes on with grown people. No wonder the urban slang "having game" means "knowing how to handle the opposite sex". Because to some, a "game" is all that it is.

We all know that some women may withhold sex from their man as a way to get what they want. Men will string women along just to give them hope that a dead-end relationship will some how flourish.

Some people in relationships try to have an edge on their significant other. Either one or both feels as if they have to have an advantage on the other. That's what's wrong with most relationships. We want to be the person holding all of the cards. We try to buy our partners. We try to (sexually) whip our partners. We even have children to try and trap our partners which actually leads to my next item...

No concept of parenting

A lot of the problems stem from split households. People don't see the importance of marriage these days and as a result, the kids are being raised with one parent while the other just has visitation (if they come around at all). One parent actually plays the role of a parent while the other tends to play the role of the best friend. This doesn't work at all. If parents aren't a united front, then kids will manipulate them like a pimp does a ho. If you can't get along and be on the same page as the person you laid down and had a baby with, then you need a hug. In order to restore parenting to where it once was, we need to restore marriage to where it once was. There's a difference between a "wife/husband" and a "wifey/hubby:" one raises children and the other has children.

Yeah, I said it. What?

- You give a lackluster effort on your job yet feel the need to curse out someone at McDonald's for forgetting your fries.

- You lie to someone saying that you love them because you don't want them to leave you before you're ready to truly commit.

- You tell your son he's now "The Man of the House" because you've failed to find someone to truly fit the position.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Hip-hop has always been about creating trends, but they've taken it to an entirely new level now. In fact, it's not trending, it's advertising.

Back in the day, Run-DMC had a song called "My Adidas" and they professed their love for the shoes they wore without laces. It was very rare that an actual product was marketed in most rap back then because rap was in a different place at the time. Rap was about self-promotion of talent and / or provoking thought.

Today's rap is about the promotion of materialistic things than anything else. CNN reported that out of the top 30 hip hop songs on the Billboard charts, 27 of them mention the name of a vehicle, 22 mention miscellaneous products from clothing to rims and 19 of them mention a brand of liquor. The liquor companies stated that they don't market products to minors, but that they do reward hip-hop stars with endorsements for promoting their products. That appears to be half of the problems in our inner cities today. A focus on materialistic things and alcohol is being pounded into their ears on mainstream radio to our kids.

In contrast, the top 30 country songs on the Billboard charts revealed 7 miscellaneous products (mostly blue jeans and power tools), 4 mentions of liquor and 4 mentions of vehicles. Check out this article for more info on rap's influence on our youth through their brand promoting. Here's an excerpt from that article:

Alcohol companies, of course, are happy to get the recognition, but it seems that many singers are also tangentially involved in the alcohol business. Jay-Z, for instance, owns a percentage of Armadale Vodka while Snoop Dogg was the face for Landy Cognac in 2008 and, not coincidentally, sang a song about it called Luv Drunk.

Now, studies are saying that US teens hear three brand names for every hour of rap music they listen to. Given that the average teen listens to 2.5 hours of music per day, your average kid is hearing 8 alcohol brand names daily.

Some people say American teens are listening to a lot more than simply 2.5 hours of music, suggesting that they hear up to 34 alcohol brand names every day while they listen to music that promotes a "luxury lifestyle characterized by degrading sexual activity, wealth, partying, violence and the use of drugs."

It is no coincidence that the brand names that are most frequently mentioned are also the ones the teenage drinkers seem to prefer.

Today's rap deserves its own genre. Something to separate it from the artists who came along over 25 years ago and made it mainstream. We have Conscious Rap (Public Enemy, KRS-1), Booty Music (95 South, 2 Live Crew), Gangsta Rap (NWA, Eazy-E) and Mainstream Rap (MC Hammer and Fresh Prince). Don't get me wrong. People in the 80's wore gold ropes and drove nice cars, but that wasn't the focus of their lyrics. They told stories of life in the hood, exposed racism and political loopholes or bragged about how lyrically talented they were.

Also, I don't want to lump all of today's rappers into this materialistic corner I'm painting. There are some rappers who are truly talented in today's rap game despite what they're rapping about: Paul Wall, Lil' Wayne, Eminem, Kanye among a few others whose names escape me right now. But a majority of the people I'm referring to who aren't all that talented and / or push products every chance they get: P-Diddy, Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane and Rick Ross. Some of the songs may be catchy, but they're really not saying anything when it's all said and done.

I'm wearing a lot of jewelry, so therefore, I must be talented.

Now everything is about what I'm drinking/smoking/wearing/driving and how many women I'm banging. Music videos with rented women, homes and cars (you don't think these guys really own mansions and Lamborghinis, do you?). I don't know if we'll ever see again a powerful video like P.E.'s "Fight the Power," a collaboration of artists to perform a modern day "Self-Destruction" or even come across a mainstream group similar to the X-Clan.

Is this what rap has become? No. At least not to me. If this is what these artists want to do, then so be it. But, don't allow it to be on mainstream radio where anyone of any age can gain access to listen. Even HBO won't show a Rated: R movie until after 8 PM when kids are supposed to be in bed. Put restrictions on this music so I don't have to worry about my eight year old god son singing songs about Ciroc.

I refuse to call today's hip-hop "rap." Call it "commercial hip-hop" or "ad rap," but don't call it rap. Contributing to the destruction of our youth all for the sake of a buck?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Every now and then, I get curious to what brings people to my site. I go through the keyword searches to determine how my blog is found. Feel free to click the link to open another window and show you the blog posts that are trending on TQ!

I guess these searches aren't that bad. I've seen crazier keyword searches over at Brandon's site or on Annah's site. I guess I should feel pretty good that no one finds me through a keyword search like "arrogant know-it-all who isn't as smart as he thinks he is."

Monday, November 14, 2011

Why didn't I learn my lesson from Bernice? If you missed her story, then you may want to go back to Part I to get the low down.

After three weeks, Bernice finally gave up and stopped calling me. She wanted to make things right with me and even offered to have her stripper friend, Chalinda, join us in a threesome. As tempting as it would have been to experience that, I did the mature thing and turned her down. I was not going to get caught up in more drama.

Until I met Contessa. An elegant name for an elegant woman. She had the hourglass figure and lips that would make a lollipop shed a tear. She was about four years older than me and knew exactly what she wanted. Well, I wish she would have told me what it was she wanted up front. Here goes:

My cousin dated her cousin. He called me and said, "Q, I got one for you, cuz. She's 28 or 29 with a five year old boy and she has a body like Page 43."

(for those who may not know, in Jet Magazine, the swimsuit model was always on page 43)

"Put her on the phone."

I chatted with her for a few and invited her to come over with her cousin and my cousin. She asked if she could just come over by herself. I should have dropped the phone and ran, but instead, I said what any 26 year old idiot man would say, "where can I pick you up?"

I get her address and arrive at her house less than 10 minutes later. As she came out of the house, I almost choked on my gum because she's a lot more attractive than I expected. She gets into my car and introduces herself with a beautiful smile and those full lips. I can't be this lucky, right? I wasn't.

We get back to my house and she asks if she can take off her shoes and make herself comfortable on my couch. I oblige and break out the wine coolers she requested we buy at the store before arriving to my house. "So, why are you single?," I ask from the kitchen while putting the other coolers in the refrigerator.

"Who said I was single?"

I paused with my head still halfway in the refrigerator thinking that if I stayed there long enough that some how that statement would be retracted. It wasn't and my ears were getting cold. "You have a man?"

"Yes, I do, but it's nothing for you to worry about. He's in Alabama."

A long distance relationship. Well, that's not a big deal at all. No wonder she's lonely on a Friday night. I regain my composure and position myself on the couch to watch that same "Die Hard with a Vengeance" movie that never made it past the opening credits whenever Bernice was over. "So, where's your son?", I asked taking a sip of the fuzzy navel wine cooler.

"He's with his dad in Alabama."

"How long will he be there?"

"Oh, they'll be back tomorrow. That's why I wanted to see you tonight. By the way, I love this couch. This is going to be my spot whenever I come over. Can I see the rest of your house?"

Is this Bernice all over again? Am I going to show her the bathroom only to have her come out naked? I start giving her a tour with anticipation in my eyes as she walked in front of me down the hall. "How long have you and dude been together?"

"I've been with him since I was 17, but we've been marr... together for 11 years."

"Wait," I thought to myself. "Was she about to say 'married?' Am I just being paranoid?"

I decided to ask another question. "Does he know that you go out with other guys?"

"Man, my hubby would kill me if he knew I was over here."

"Hubby?"

Now, keep in mind that this is 1997 and calling someone who wasn't your spouse "hubby and wifey" was not common back then. If someone in 1997 used that term to describe their significant other, then they were married!

"Uh, Contessa," I started, "this ain't gonna work. Even though your husband lives in Alabama, I can't do this."

"He doesn't live in Alabama, he lives with me. He just drives trucks and he's driving through Alabama right now."

"Wait. I picked you up at that man's house? You live right around the corner from me!"

"He'll never know. He won't be home for at least an hour. I can come over when he's out of town and we can have some drinks and chill."

"At least an hour? Are you..." I stopped in the middle of my sentence and retreated back into the den. I grab her coat, purse and heels and pass it to her. "I'm taking you home. I don't hang out with married women. You're fine and all, but you're crazy if you think your husband isn't going to sneak home on you one night and find you over here."

She took the coat from me and headed to the car. She didn't appear to be mad at all. She knew that her loose (full) lips sank her ship when she mentioned "hubby." It was total silence as I drove her home and ended up dropping her off a street over from her house because sure enough, her husband's rig was parked on their street. "Oooh, you were right! He did get home early," were the last words I heard Contessa say as she slid her apple bottom out of my seat and started walking home.

I wondered if it was the last time she would ever try to pull a stunt like that on her husband. As I arrived home and unlocked my door and finally felt safe again, I made a promise to myself that never again would I not get to know a lady first before inviting her over. I was 0-for-2 in good decision making and I was only a few months removed from living with my parents. If I was going to survive on my own, I would have to make better decisions when it came to women. Thank, God I finally listened to myself.

However, the drama in my new home didn't stop there. But, I'll have to share the story of "Psycho Dad" on another day.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Since people all over the world are going crazy over the date being 11/11/11, I decided to bring up something crazy myself and post it at 11:11 AM. This is a little lengthy, but most of my stories are, so bare with me.

When I was 24 and fresh out of my parents' crib, I had a three bedroom spot in Jackson. I was working at a Fortune 500 company doing some data entry work, my car was paid for and life was good. Or at least until she walked into my life.

I'll refer to her as "Bernice" during this post. Why Bernice? Because that was her name. Duh.

Anyhoo, I met her in the lobby of an oil change business. I was reading the newspaper and she walked in. She was roughly 5'0" and had curves like the Autobahn. Normally, I'm not one to approach a woman spur-of-the-moment and ask for her number. I've always been the guy who is patient and grows on a woman. Kind of like a fungus. Okay, bad analogy.

Dangerous curves ahead

So, I'm feeling confident and I step to her and introduce myself. I'm very blunt with her with my intentions. "Nice to meet you, Bernice. Look... They're going to have our oil changed in roughly 10 minutes, so I won't waste your time with any nonsense. Rather than rush through everything I'd like to say to you, how about you allow me to say them over dinner and a movie?"

She didn't blink an eye as she said, "Sure" and reached into her purse for a pen to write down her number. Little did I know that this was one time I wish a woman had told me "no."

I called her that night (since I don't believe in that make-a-woman-sit-around-for-a-day-and-wait garbage) and she lived less than five minutes from me. I drive over and pick her up, but she says she wants to get dinner to go and just watch movies at my place. Of course, I'm all for it and we grab some fast food and head back to my place.

I pop in "Die Hard with a Vengeance" and we sit on the floor and start watching TV. 10 minutes into the movie, she asks me where my restroom is located. I lead her down the hall to it and then return to the den. As I'm sipping on my sweet tea, Bernice comes back into the room... naked.

"Where's your bedroom?," she asked.

I'm completely stunned, but I got up from the floor so quickly that I almost pulled a hamstring.

Later than morning, I take her home and she says she'll call me later the next day. As I'm driving home, I'm trying to piece together everything that happened. Like most 20-somethings, I've already convinced myself that I can't possibly date her long term because any woman that sleeps with a man on the first date isn't girlfriend material, right? Especially since her freaky meter was an 8 on a scale of 10, right?

A day or two go by and I get a call from Bernice. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Chillin'. Playing Playstation."

"Can I come over?"

"Sure."

10 minutes later, my doorbell rings. I answer the door and 20 minutes later we're right back at it. This goes on every other day for a few weeks. There's little-to-no talking or trying to get to know each other. Just a brief conversation and then a horizontal joyride. A man's dream, right? Here's where it turned into a nightmare...

Well, after a month of this, the doorbell rings one evening unexpectedly. I answer it and it's Bernice... with two kids. I stare in confusion, but then remember that her brother has kids, so I invite her in and think nothing of it. We sit around and chat for a few and she tells me once she gets the kids to sleep, we can go to the other room. I wasn't expecting her visit, but since I knew what was about to go down, I didn't think much of it. One of the kids walks over to her. She may have been close to 2 years old and says something that made my jaw drop: "Momma, I'm thirsty."

Did I mention my two kids?

"M-M-Momma?"

"I didn't tell you that I had kids?"

"Kids? Both of these are yours?"

"Yeah. My bad. I thought I told you."

"How could you forget something like that? It's been a month!"

I stood up to go pour the child some apple juice, but my mind is racing all over the place wondering what I'd gotten myself into. I'm 25, single, fresh out of my parents' house with only a house note as a responsibility. I don't want an instant family. I don't want a girlfriend with one kid yet alone two!

While I'm in the kitchen, my phone rings, but I pay it no mind. Bernice sneaks a peek at the caller ID and sees a female's name. I get back into the room and I'm met with expletives from Bernice as she wants to know who it was that called me. "How are you going to have other hos calling here while I'm here? That's how people get cut!"

"Cut? Wait, whoa, why are you trippin'?"

I started wondering how I was going to get out of this. This chick was fine, but crazy. Showing up a month later with kids she never mentioned and now snapping on me about a female's name on my caller ID?

I look at the caller ID and it was my mom who called. Bernice and I had hung out for over a month and she didn't even know my last name to put 2 and 2 together to realize it was my mom calling. "That's my mom."

"Your mom?"

"Yes, my mom. Same last name. You don't even know my last name, do you?"

I show her my driver's license just to make sure she knew I was telling the truth. After all, she mentioned cutting someone earlier. I didn't want her to go Sweeney Todd on me. She sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I don't want any other women calling you."

"Bernice, I'm afraid you have to leave. We have trust issues going on here and I need some time alone."

Translation: "I'm scared and I'm 10 seconds from locking myself in the bathroom and calling the cops."

Surprisingly, she gets her things and leads the kids out the door without saying a word. I wish I could say that was the last time I saw her, but like I said, she was fine. We did kick it at least two more times before $50 came up missing out of my wallet one night and I knew I had to quit Bernice cold turkey. You would think I would have learned my lesson about getting to know someone before inviting them over to my house.

Boy, are you wrong if you think that I did... Squatlo was right.
(Part II coming soon)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

One of my blogging inspirations, Sonia, over at LogAllot.com, nominated me to take part in “My 7 Link Challenge!” Here's how it works: bloggers publish seven links from their blog of posts from their archives.

Pick seven posts (that maybe some of your new followers missed) from your blog that were the most informative, entertaining or even controversial.

In the words of Sonia, "this is an awesome opportunity to introduce other bloggers that you admire to share some 'oldie but goodie posts!'"

So, here are my seven and then I will pay it forward and nominate a few of my new favorite bloggers to do the same:

Monday, November 7, 2011

I'm up late watching HDNet which is one of my favorite channels. After watching a very entertaining episode of "Art Mann Presents," I go to the kitchen to get some water only to return to the start of "Girls Gone Wild: Unrated."

That show is absolutely nuts.

It's amazing how just a production name and a camera can bring out the most unpredictable behavior in a person. I could go into a bar in Jackson with a GGW t-shirt on, a microphone and someone carrying a camera and literally wind up with a group of topless women in a hotel room licking on each other. God bless America, right?

For those of you who have not seen this phenomenon, let me break down a typical show segment for you:

Guy shows up at beach with a microphone and a camera man. Women immediately start to turn towards the camera, pull up their bikini tops and scream "whooooooooo!!!!!!" The guy then selects five girls to go to his limo where he then instructs three of them to do a three-way tongue kiss for the camera. After that, he asks that each of them turn around and show their butt before reminding them that they can no longer wear their tops in the limo. After the ride back to the GGW bus, the ladies get on board and commence to doing each other on a bed.

This is pretty much the entire show. I know what you're asking yourself, "What do the girls get in return for showing their breasts and butts to the world via HDTV and Web?"

A GGW t-shirt and booty shorts! Well, that's all worth it then, right?

But, after about 15-20 minutes, I started noticing that something was missing while I was composing this blog post with this show playing in the background. I started to notice that it was basically a loop of similar-looking girls with pierced nipples in every other shot. Nothing exotic. Nothing uncommon. Just everyday mall rats who were looking for their 15 minutes of fame by any means necessary. Then it hit me:

In the words of Bizarro Sheriff Bart from 'Blazing Saddles,' "Where all the black women at?" That's right. 30 minutes without a site of one sista. Not even a chica or a pinay. Just Girls Gone White.

Then again, I do understand that it's not necessarily a race thing. It's a money thing. That's what sells. Who pays to see naked and white party girls? White guys. Do you know who else pays to see naked and white party girls? Every other race of guys. So, you can't lose right? Let's be honest, I would guess (I don't know for sure) that more non-white guys would buy a GGW Blu Ray quicker than white guys would buy a Black GGW Blu Ray.

You have to cater to the market, right? And white women are universal like Type-O blood. I know some sistas may wrinkle their foreheads reading this, but I didn't make the rules or set the standards. Society did long before I walked this earth. White women are the only race of women who can have their sex appeal marketed in any part of the world because they are stereotyped to be more fun than other races.

Is that true? I don't know. I've never dated a white woman before. I've had plenty of friends (no benefits), classmates and co-workers who were white, but their personalities weren't too much different than any black women I knew. Somewhat less guarded and more outgoing than some black women? Maybe. Then again, I didn't hang around too many party types on a regular basis. I have a (black) homie of mine who has dated mostly whites in his life. I've heard him refer to them as "easy-going," "open" and "adventurous." Is he accurate? I haven't a clue, but I do know that none of the women in the show appeared to have any regrets for what they were doing. Half of them didn't even appear to be drunk. They all seemed like a group of girls who just wanted to have a good time and be able to say they were "a Girl Gone Wild."

Well, personally, it's not a big deal to me. I realize that it's easier to find a water-skiing squirrel on YouTube than it is to find a black woman on an after-hours premium channel. I don't think it means that white women are all "party girls" or sexier any more than black women are.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Okay, there are no cookies involved this time. It's been a while, but I've received another blogging award! It's by far the most unique award I've ever received and it appears that a previous post of mine sparked the idea. My east coast buddy, Jewels, from the forever-entertaining According to Jewels blog site, came up with the idea. Brandon from My Own Private Idaho encouraged her (some how, you knew he was involved, didn't you?) and Jewels ran with the idea.

I wound up being the first recipient of this illustrious award! I'm honored and I'll be truthful with you when I say that my chest is stuck out a little farther than normal today after receiving this award. Every man wants to say, "I still got it!"

But, here's dilemma #1: as a married man, I have to be careful of how I pass this award along. I can't be too descriptive in why I think some woman deserves this award. Also, I don't want to creep the person out by giving them this award. It would give an entirely new meaning to "blog stalking." So, ladies, I want you to accept this award and realize that it comes from a good place. No, not that place, but from a platonic if-I-were-single-and-lived-in-your-city-then-I-would-totally-hit-on-you place.

Dilemma #2: Brandon already gave this award to two BILF's that were high on my list in Annah and TOAR. Annah's blog was the first I ever read and TOAR and I disagree with each other so much, that it's no doubt we'd totally have explosive, angry, neighbor-waking... whoops. Sorry. You see? This is the trouble I was trying to avoid, so let me just give out the award to the five people before I find myself homeless:

The Tsaritsa - She's open-minded, intelligent and comfortable in front of a camera. 'Nuff said.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

I'm sure some of your hip-hop fans have heard the phrase: "It's not where you're from, it's where you're at."

Well, that's not true. If it were true, then rappers would act like people who understand the concepts of social responsibility and money management (where they're at) rather than acting like the "hood rich" people from their block (where they're from). But, that's not what my blog post is about (this time). I want to get into how a person's history can shape their future. Not with the history we learned in school, but from the history we learn from television and movies.

I've noticed that a lot of 20-somethings today don't know a lot about things that happened prior to their first memories. I have younger relatives who have little-to-no knowledge of movies / TV shows prior to 1990. They don't remember when Michael Jackson was black. They think LeBron James is the best basketball player ever because they were too young to remember Michael Jordan or never even saw Larry Bird or Magic Johnson play.

I am so thankful that my parents saw to it that I appreciate everything that life has to offer... even if it occurred before I was born. We had two or three televisions in my household when I was growing up, but one was in my parents' bedroom and the other two were in our den and our living room. The only connection in my bedroom to the outside world that I had as a child was an AM/FM radio. Because of this, if I was going to watch TV, it was usually in the company of my parents. And since they had control of the TV except for on NFL Sunday, I watched what they watched. Something as simple as that gave me an appreciation for shows that came before me.

Some of my favorite TV personalities as a child: Bob Hope, Sammy Davis, Jr., Lucille Ball, Clint Eastwood, The Marx Brothers, The Three Stooges and Tim Conway. Now, some of you who are 30 years old and under maybe only recognize a couple of those names. All of these people were making movies long before I was born. Some of them were actually dead a few decades before I was born, but I still learned to appreciate their work. It's because of that, I can watch "Planet of the Apes" with Mark Wahlberg (2001) or Charlton Heston (1968) and be entertained by either.

Things are different today. Kids have options. Too many options, if you ask me. They have TV's in their bedrooms, iPods, iPads, iPhones, laptops, game consoles, etc. So, instead of maybe taking in a nostalgic episode of "Seinfeld," "Three's Company," "Miami Vice" or "The Incredible Hulk" with mom and dad, they're free to watch what they want which is generally mainstream TV.

This is why a lot of them only live in the "here-and-now" which can lead to problems in the adult world for some.

- They get confused when confronted by discrimination because maybe they never saw "Do The Right Thing" or "Philadelphia." They only saw "Paranormal Activities" or "Shark Night 3D."

- They don't know how to grow into a good family person because they never saw how families interacted on "The Waltons" or "The Cosby Show." They only saw "Keeping Up with The Kardashians" or "The Osbornes."

- They don't understand expressions of love because they never listened to "James Ingram" or "Chicago." They only heard "Soulja Boy" or "Ke$ha."

And how many times have you heard some young person complain about how long a microwave takes to warm up food? Those my age remember almost starving before a bag of popcorn would pop. Younger generations need to at least know how things were in order to appreciate how things are now.

If your kids can't appreciate the values and traditions of your childhood, then how can they truly appreciate you?

I've never seen a lioness follow her cub. I've never seen an eaglet teach an eagle how to fly. Even when you're driving, you can't do so effectively without checking in the mirror behind you from time-to-time.

Your child doesn't have to do what you did as a child or like everything you liked, but it's up to you to at least give them a blueprint of "where they're from" so they can appreciate "where they're at."

Sunday, October 30, 2011

If you haven't heard by now, then you will soon. There's a new craze taking the sports world by storm: Tebowing! Here's the definition of Tebowing: (verb) to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.

I didn't make that up. I took that definition from a website.

Aaron Rodgers of the champion Green Bay Packers has a move that he does when he scores a touchdown. He does an impersonation of someone putting on a championship belt a la boxing or wrestling. I've seen countless stories done on this craze on ESPN and FOX Sports.

It's caught on like mad since last season with all of the exposure it gets.

Okay, non-sports topic. Kim Kardashian is praised for her butt. She released a sex tape with loser, Ray J, some years ago and her butt has been all over TV, websites and magazines ever since. She is extremely curvy and has even been credited with the influence of Booty Pop Pads. Even though J-Lo ignited the craze, Kim K. was the gasoline that set it ablaze and turned it into an inferno. Now booty is something that people are actually paying money for to have surgically implanted for those who weren't blessed with the bump at birth.

(Insert angry black man here)

Are you kidding me? Why is it a trend now? Why is it that things black people either did first or have done for years are being hyped when someone white does it?

Tebowing Kneeling after a touchdown was done before the invention of the internet. Tebowing? Seriously? Players have been doing this for as long as I can remember, but now it has a name? And why isn't it just called "praying?"

Way before Tebow

As for Aaron Rodgers' championship belt move... Are you kidding me? Freddie Mitchell, who played for the Philadelphia Eagles, was doing this back in 2004 and he's one of many. Why is it such a big deal now? Mitchell made the mock championship belt famous while Rodgers was still a junior in college.

Way before Rodgers

And don't get me started on K.K.'s booty. Black women have had "apple bottoms" since man first walked the earth and now all of a sudden it's attractive? After years of seeing women resembling the letter "I" on my TV and on magazine covers now it's in vogue to be shaped like an "8?"

I just wanted to add her photo because she's fine, but, yes, before K.K.

These type of things have been going on since before I was born. Back in the '70's The Jackson 5 got their own cartoon while the Osmonds got their own cartoon, TV show and movie. Rap was a predominant black genre for decades, but Eminem has won more Grammys in the last 10 years than any black rapper has from 1979 to now. In fact, it takes rap legends Jay-Z, Kanye West and L.L. Cool J. combined just to have more nominations than Eminem. That's over 60 years of rap experience combined to just to beat one man.

Do you see where I'm going with this now? Look, I don't want to discredit any of the people listed above. Tim Tebow has the heart of a champion. Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in the NFL right now. Kim Kardashian is one of the finest women on the planet. (I have no comment on the Osmonds -- LOL!) Eminem is one of my favorite all-time rappers. Not once did I say weren't worthy of being great.

The point I want to leave everyone with is that I wish the mainstream media would not act like black people who came before them (doing what they did) don't exist. Don't hype one without hyping them all. Enough of this Columbus Day syndrome and giving people credit for discovering something that was already here.