ProfessionalMatchDC

A place for Professional Men to kick back an relax learn a few things and live life like a pro...

Monday, July 25, 2005

It's not all about Looks......It's about your verbal Fellaz

I know im not the Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise...But if you have confidence and don't scare women away. You can hang out with a woman and feel at home. It's not about how much money you have or where you are from. Most women don't need to know about your material items. If you can't approach a women pure, you have no game.....

Check out Judy(With Hat).....I met her on my way to a friends house and i gave her the option to call me instead of me asking for the number. She called me within 30 mins of meeting her to see if i was okay.. We are going out Thursday.

Arguments with Women 101

Okay, no matter who you are, who you're dating, you're going to encounter an arguement with a woman at some point in your life. You don't need to NEXT her just because you got into an arguement with her, you just need to handle it properly (even if she started it). Most AFCs will almost immediately break down and say, "Okay, it's my fault. I'm sorry". The problem is they do this even if it isn't their fault.

The only exception to handling arguements is if they're frequently happening. If she starts an arguement everytime you're with her, it's in your best interest to NEXT her. If you're always starting the arguements, you may want to re-evaluate yourself, or the woman you're with.

There's a few things you need to remember when arguing with a woman:

1. You're not going to make her happy

Trying to make a woman happy during an arguement is impossible. No matter how much you apologize, kiss ass, or cry, she's gonna be pissed off. Face it, and deal with it.

2. Stand your ground and keep your opinions

If you're swaying between what you believe, and what your opinions are, you're not going to get anywhere. Don't change where you stand, or you're going to be looked upon as "weak". Women hate weak men!

3. Don't let her change the subject

When women are in the wrong (and they know they are), they'll try to change the subject on you. They may bring up stupid things you did in the past. The past isn't the issue, the present is. Deal with the issue at hand, or else your arguement is going to go nowhere.

4. Don't give into her childish behavior

Women who don't get their own way behave like children. She's gonna cry, she's gonna slam doors, or even threaten to leave. Women like speaking with actions, and they know it works. If she leaves the room, remain seated. She'll come back. If she leaves the house, she'll phone. Women need closure, and they'll most likely come back for it.

5. Remain Calm

Avoid getting into a screaming match with her. No matter how pissed off she is, keep your voice at a decent tone, but be firm. Women highly respect men who have control over their emotions.

6. Agree to their threats

They hate this. If she says, "Fine, you're not getting any tonight", just respond with, "That's fine". If she says, "I'm leaving", just say "Okay". They'll see that their threats aren't working, and completely go back on them. She won't go anywhere, and you WILL get some. If you want to take it a step further: when she's in the mood for sex later that day, tell her you're tired and you need to go to bed. Occasionally turning down sex keeps you in control of the relationship.

When you're pointing out something she did wrong, she won't let you know when she realizes what she did. She'll keep it hidden for the sole purpose of trying to get you to break down. Keep working at it and she'll eventually collapse. She won't immediately come out and say "I'm Sorry", but she'll say something like, "Okay, I understand". That's when you back off.

In some arguements, a power struggle will occur. A power struggle is when one person tries to take control over the relationship. Hopefully, you had the control over the relationship in the beginning, because trying to take the control from the woman is difficult, almost impossible. Whatever you do, don't give her control over the relationship. You MUST keep it! When women gain control over the relationship, all goes to hell. You immediately get filed under "weak" which is a complete turnoff.

There's a thin line between control over the relationship, and control over one's life. You control the relationship when you are the one who makes the final decisions, and decides the direction of the relationship. You control a person when you force them to behave and act the way you want. Avoid doing this.

You may not realize it, but women NEED to argue. They thrive on changes of emotions. They need their emotional rollercoaster ride. Being happy all the time is too boring. That's why they get miserable for no reason, they need to! You can let her have her emotional rollercoaster ride, but you don't need to join her.

If you've remained calm and confident, and stuck to your grounds, her respect for you will remain high.

17 Date Ideas

This week I want to pass along to you some unique dating ideas to make a great impression on women:

1. AMUSEMENT PARKS - This really makes for a fun date, especially if you both enjoy thrill-seeking rides such as roller coasters, etc. Also, don't forget to try and win her a teddy bear or other keepsake. Don't even thing about Adventure World, the place has turned into a ghetto heaven.

2. BALLOON RIDES - I am referring to hot-air balloon rides. This is a breath-taking experience you both will never forget. It's very romantic and some rides even come with champagne.

3. BOAT RENTAL - This makes for a unique experience and it's so relaxing and enjoyable. You can charter a boat with captain and crew or rent a powerboat for skiing, fishing, or just for cruising. Try the SW Waterfront.

4. CAMPING - What a great way to enjoy the great outdoors! Things really get cozy and romantic sitting in front of an open fire! This is sure to melt her heart and make her want to share your sleeping bar.

5. CARRIAGE RIDES - This is one of the ultimate romantic experiences. Just you and your lover or date in a horse-drawn carriage enjoying the scenery.

6. DINNER AT YOUR PLACE - One of my favorite things to do is to invite a lady over for a candlelight steak dinner and champagne. I do all the cooking and wait on my date hand and foot. I really make my date feel special. So, if you really want to make someone feel special and have a romantic evening, do this for a very special date.

7. DINNER THEATRE - There's nothing like good entertainment while you're eating. Your date will really be impressed and this is one of my top choices to take a date to.

8. GO-CARTS - These are a lot of fun for adults too. Why not challenge your date to a race around the track.

9. HAY RIDES - Have you ever been on a hayride? It's a lot of fun and something very different to do.

10. HELICOPTER RIDES - This was one of the most exciting dates I ever went on. My date and I took a helicopter tour of the city. I was especially fascinated flying over the skyscrapers and looking down on them. This will be an expensive date, because to charter a helicopter can cost you up to $500 an hour. If you can afford it, it's worth the money just for the experience.

11. HORSE RACES OR DOG RACES - Here's another fun activity you can both share and make some money too, if you are lucky.

12. ICE SKATING - Don't know how to skate? No problem, It's a lot of fun just learning. Sure, you're going to take a few spills on the ice. It's all part of the fun! This is great place to go on a date even if you don't know how to ice skate. You can always take lessons, too.

13. JET SKIS - This is like riding a motorcycle on the water and your date can ride on the back. Take my word for it, this is the ultimate joy ride while having some great fun on the water. You can rent them for about $20 for a half-hour. But be very careful,since 9/11 cops my stop you for having to much fun.

14. KITE FLYING - Stop by any toy store and pick up a kite and go on a kite date. Head for your local park, beach, or any wide-open space. Kites are not just for kids. It's a fun experience for all ages and it's kind of romantic. So, get your date and go fly a kite.

15. LIMOUSINE DATE - When you want to tell someone they're special, what better way to do it than with the unexpected. Sending flowers is nice, but sending flowers with a limousine is unforgettable. This is a great way to let dancers know they are real special to you.

16. LIVE MUSIC - This will put you and your date in a good mood, especially if the band is good. Check out your area for places that offer live music. Take her to Rock Concerts too.

17. MOONLIGHT STROLLS - When there's a full moon and clear skies, head for any lake or seashore. It's so romantic to take your shoes off and wade along the shore with the full moon gleaming on the water.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Great Show to Watch........Entourage on HBO

A great show to get your mind on the right track when you reach stardom. Not everyone will be able to relate if you don't know anyone famous our on there way. But being a professional doesn't mean you roll everywhere alone. Always have a group of buddies to hang with and enjoy life with.....You came alone and you die alone, but you don't have to live alone....

HBO presents Entourage, the hit comedy series executive produced by Mark Wahlberg that takes a look at the day-to-day life of Vincent (Vince) Chase, a hot young actor in modern-day Hollywood, and his entourage. He's brought with him from their hometown in Queens, NY: manager Eric, half-brother Drama, and friend Turtle. The series draws on the experiences of industry insiders to illustrate both the heady excesses of today's celebrity lifestyle, as well as the difficulty of finding love and success in the fast track of show biz. Now that the boys are getting used to the perks of stardom, Eric, along with superagent Ari, keep Vince's star rising while making sound decisions for a long-lasting career in a world of fleeting fame.

Women Respond:........What's the worst date you been on...

About four years ago I went on a really bad date. Trent, a guy I knew very casually, called me up and asked if I would like to go to dinner and see a movie. Now although that isn't a very creative or exciting date idea, there is nothing wrong with it...it is a classic date for a reason. The problem was the movie he selected. He didn't ask if I had any suggestions, and he took me to see the new (at the time) James Bond movie, Golden Eye. The movie had a lot of wild sex scenes and masochism. The levels in the movie were not to the point of being offensive, but they made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't know Trent all that well, and every time one of those scenes came on, I could feel my cheeks burning and I wanted nothing more than to be somewhere else...with someone else. Guys, if you are going the movie route, please do your research. Find out. from female friends if possible, if it would be a good first date movie. And ask the girl if she has any suggestions. FYI- this date was not a deal-breaker...Trent and I ended up dating for several months...so there is hope even after a bad date!

My boyfriend at the time had kids from a previous relationship. Something I wasn't too thrilled about, but what nailed his coffin shut was inviting me to his kids first birthday party when we had only gone out twice. Not a good scene to be in the middle of inquiring family members so early in the relationship. Needless to say, I didn't stay with him much longer.

The worst dates are when the man is too opinionated about issues I hold dear. I am a vegetarian, and when the conversation turns toward food, I want him to respect my choice. I know that not many people are vegetarians, and I don't expect my date to be vegetarian, but I DO expect him to NOT try to convert me to eating meat or argue with me about my eating habits. The same goes with religion and politics. The biggest date spoiler is lack of respect for someone you're trying to get to know better.

The worst date...accidental role reversal! I watched college ball during dinner, and he whined and cried that I wasn't paying any attention to him!!

The worst date would have to be one in which the guy could not take his hands and put them in the right spots. I don't have a for sale sign on me and I don't want one. Nice gentleness means so much more. Sex on the first date is not mandatory. If it is given, be nice. One night stands are not very wonderful, unless that is just what you both want. You need to make yourselves clear from the start. If you aren't going to call again, tell us.

Without a doubt, one of the worst dates I've ever had was the guy, a few weeks ago, who spent 3 hours discussing the technical minutiae of computer installation. I got lost after the first five minutes, couldn't ask any questions because I didn't have a clue what he was saying, just kept saying "mmhmm", and he decided I was the best conversationalist he'd met in years. Adding insult to injury, when the date was over, he expected me to pay half. I am willing to go out with a bore a second time, to see if he was just nervous on the first date, but I'm not willing to pay for the privilege of being bored stiff!

The worst date I have ever been on was quite recent. Last Friday, my sweet pea took me to A gas station for dinner! It stunk like smoke and urine, and it was really cheap. To make it worse, I dressed up, because he told me that we were going someplace nice. Halfway through the meal, when Sweet Pea was in the little boy's room, a trucker asked me for my digits! I was shocked and appalled. Sweet Pea and I are still going out, because I still love him. (he smells funny, though. Oh well, I'll buy him cologne...)

Any date directly after he has just broken up with his "latest" ex.

My worst date was one we had to do for a high school project. The idea of the project was to ask different guys out, plan a date, go out, then do an evaluation.

One guy I asked was generally rather the athletic type, so I suggested we could play racquetball, even though personally I'd rather have watched a video.

The guy just said "fine by me" (or something in that vein).

Turns out (from the evaluation), that he would also rather have watched a video.

Two things learned from that: first, get your date to make a suggestion too, and second, if someone asks you out and you aren't exactly thrilled by their idea make a different suggestion yourself, you might be surprised!!

Meet 30 Women in 1 Day

One thing is that if you are shy, it may not be that many. Just work at it and your confidence will get you to meeting more and more women each day.

Here is how I met so many women in just one day.

I was at the mall one day smelling new colognes for men. The woman sprayed it on a piece of cardboard. I smelled it and liked it. So I turned around and a very attractive woman was walking by. I said, "Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you, but I just can't decide if this new cologne smells good. Could you please smell it and give me your honest opinion?"

She liked it. Then I held out my hand and introduced myself. We talked for about 5 minutes. I got her name, found out she lived in the area and what she does for a living. I turned around and asked the lady at the counter if she could spray another card. I put the cards in my suit pocket and took off towards downtown.

I walked up to 30 attractive women that day and asked them if they could give me their honest opinions on this new cologne I was thinking about getting. Out of 30 women, 28 of them liked it. I introduced myself after they gave me their opinion, and asked them 3 open-ended questions.

A few days later I was walking down the sidewalk in the same area I met one of the ladies. I noticed her. Very attractive Italian lady. She smiled. So I smiled and stopped, called her by her name, and we started talking again. I asked her, "You do not remember me, do you?" She said, "Yes, I do. You stopped me before and ask me to smell this new cologne."

The thing was she did not remember my name but she did remember meeting me. So I reintroduced myself and we started down the sidewalk just having a great conversation.

Once you meet them again it's up to you to take it from there. This is a great and unique way to meet attractive women. I do it every summer.

One thing to remember. Out of the 30 women you meet you have to remember their names, where you met them, and what time of day it was. People are creatures of habit. They go to the same places all the time.

Just get the cologne on a card, and get out there meeting beautiful women. Good luck. Let me know how it works for you.

Erase Negative thoughts about women.....

It's about 7:30 on a Saturday Night. You only have half an hour before you have to go pick up the beautiful woman you met on Thursday. Instead of thinking confidently about the situation, you worry that you won't blow her socks off with how amazing you are.

As the time gets closer and closer to pick her up, the more nervous you get. A whole bunch of negative thoughts start to pop into your head. "Gee, I hope I don't screw this up." "What can I do to make her think I am the greatest guy in the world?" "I hope that she likes me."

Automatically you have set yourself up for failure. Why? How much confidence can you possibly have in yourself with this type of negative thinking? Most men worry too much about the outcome. They feel that if they aren't perfect, that everything is at a total loss. Remember, "Nothing is ever going to be perfect."

Instead of going casually in, most men go in as a loose cannon. And when you beat yourself up mentally inside, your thoughts will eventually represent your outside actions.

The major problem with this is... Women can discern body language 20 times better than men can. If your words and body language don't mirror each other, she will automatically use that amazing sixth sense she has to detect that something is wrong.

You are taught to do so much by dating professionals that you can't concentrate on putting it all together. Have you ever had a golf lesson? Instead of learning how to do one or two things to help your swing each lesson, you learn 30 different mechanics on how you can do things better in one setting.

What does this do to you?

It makes you do the worst thing you can possibly do. It makes you start thinking too much. It is hard to swallow so much information all at once. So until you get to the point where you have a lot of the dating mechanics down, this is what you need to do...

No thinking is better than negative thinking.

Richard Bandler who is proclaimed as the father of NLP, first used this concept. One day he was driving down the road and before he could do anything, he had been struck by another car.

After this happened, Mr. Bandler had a whole bunch of negative thoughts going through his mind. He thought to himself, "What is this going to do to my insurance?" "What are people thinking as they are driving by?" "What am I going to drive now my car has been destroyed?"

He realized that in a time when he needed to stay positive, he was the most negative. It's easy to remain positive when things are going well, but what do you do to remain positive when things aren't going well?

If Mr. Bandler used the "no thinking process," this is how things would've been different. Keep in mind, you can't stop your thinking process. So you will always be thinking about something. The key is to limit those negative thoughts from entering your thought process.

1. You can only do one thing at a time. You can't solve more than one problem at any given time, so only focus on what you can do at that time.

2. Don't worry about what others think of you. You have enough to worry about in life, you don't have time to worry about what others think about you.

(Like in the above situation. Mr. Bandler couldn't control what others were thinking. So instead of stressing out about it, he could've just cut out these thoughts from his mind.)

3. If you can't replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts, than don't think at all. Just try it, it's not as hard as you might think.

4. She should be trying just as hard to impress you. You aren't the only one that should worry about a great first impression. She may be feeling the same pressure you are. So don't worry about putting her up on that pedestal just yet.

While I think it's important you go into a situation involving women with some type of plan. I wouldn't stress out about following that plan. You can only control so many things. The rest is up to her.

In the end limiting your negative thoughts by not thinking, is better than negative thinking.

Over 80% of Women

I was recently reading a book that said that over 80% of all woman are not happy with their relationships, and with men in general. I figured that of the 20% that say they are happy, about half are in denial, making the number about 90%.

After reading this I began just casually telling women that over 80% of all women are not happy and would like more from men. I also added that most men do not know how to treat a woman properly and how to appreciate a woman.

When women hear me say these things their faces light up and reveal a great smile. All of a sudden they open up and become warm and friendly.

Some women ask, "You mean you know how to treat a woman properly and appreciate her to the fullest?" And others expressed the same thing but nonverbally with a smile.

It is almost as if your statement that you know that most women are not happy with men implies that you are sympathetic to the plight of women, understand them, and are willing and able to give them what they want in such a way that is different from most men. The statement seems to separate you from most men out there that do not know how to treat a woman.

The results have been spectacular as for the first time ever I have been able to overcome the "I have a boyfriend" objection. Most women admit that their current boyfriend does not treat them the way they want and need to be treated, and that the relationship is basically over... implying that they are open to giving you the time and opportunity.

Divorce Self Defense 101

Once again I have read of some poor sod being dragged into the quagmire of family court. For the sake of men who have been through it, I will spare the painful details. Rest assured it is a classic case. To the question, “What do you think he can do about it?” I can only answer “Probably not a damn thing. He’s more than likely screwed.”

Welcome to Amerika. I only wish the Men’s Movement’s best recruiting target wasn’t men who realized that it could indeed happen to them after all.

Before I begin with the meat, I need to take a swipe at some people. Namely, men. That’s right. Why the hell is it I can surf the net, find all manner of newsgroup, website, chat parlor, and web ring devoted to women helping women to work the system, and not hardly a damned one for men? Huh? And how come ninety-nine percent of the ones I do find are some mercenary SOB trying to make a buck off of his brother’s tragedy? And how come most of them are offering a “What you should have done” approach?

While it’s no doubt that the game is rigged, in many instances men walk into the battlefield unprepared for what they face, convinced in the rightness of their cause, and wind up getting bushwhacked. And what absolutely disgusts me to the point where I hope these schmucks are sharing their pit in Hell with Gloria Allred and Andrea Dworkin in the life to come is that men who have been through this, and hosed by the system are profiteering over it. Want to know why the feminists won that, gents? Because they helped each other. And any of you who doesn’t lend a hand, share your experience, and help the next poor slob better his lot even if you couldn’t better yours is worthless beyond description. By the power vested in me, I hereby revoke your testicles for high treason.

There. Okay, Divorce Self Defense 101, I am your instructor, Mr. Jensen. I am not a lawyer, consult one. Anything I say here may have its mileage vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. My qualifications are two divorces, one in which I did everything wrong and got raped, and one in which I did everything right and came out with my skin relatively intact. Let’s start with the fundamentals.

First. Decide right now if you want to be a winner or a loser. You are about to enter the Lion Pit, and whatever your religious persuasion before, you are now a Christian. Get used to it, grow up and accept it. Any misconceptions you had about morality, right and wrong, and justice in the Justice System are bunk. All such things are absolutely irrelevant. Your sole concern is legal, and illegal. If it goes to a judge, you are not facing Solomon who will try to establish something fair. That is the job of a mediator. The judge will decide who is the winner, and who is the loser. If you don’t want to be a winner, take their offer right now, and get out of my class. I guarantee it will be far more generous that what the judge decides. The court is NOT your friend.

Number two. I want you to say something right now: “She will never do that to me, she would never be like that.” If you wish to paraphrase, be my guest. I’ll wait.

Done?

Good. Now, let that be the last time you ever say that. This is not the nice, sweet girl you married. This is the bitch that is divorcing you. Grow up. Accept it. Right now she is plotting how to get you. And probably has been. Either be prepared to treat her as your mortal enemy, or confess that you really didn’t want to be a winner after all. She will treat you as such, I guarantee you. Don’t let anyone shame you with words like “Not sinking to her level.” While you should avoid illegal and unethical behavior which will be punished or looked on with a jaundiced eye, I grant, you should absolutely sink to her level otherwise. There is no such thing as a moral victory here. Any people who say this to you want to see you put your club down so they can see her clobber you with hers. These people are NOT your friends.

With me so far? Number three. You cannot stop this divorce. You can only delay it, at best, and you will be punished for doing so. The judge and the court doesn’t want to see you any more then necessary. Why? Yes, you in the back –uh huh – that’s right! Because they are NOT your friend! No fault divorce is the law in every state of the Union, and every province in Canada. And she decided she wanted out long ago. If she wanted to work it out, she would have suggested counseling. Your marriage is over, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, as the saying goes. Grow up. Accept it. She does NOT want to be your friend anymore.

Allrighty, those are the ground rules. Questions? No? Part two then.

Some things you should have. First, despite what you may have heard about “Planning for divorce only assures divorce” I am here to tell you that it is unvarnished crap. You should have incriminating papers, financial records, valuable identification, and a certain amount of cash secured somewhere. This location should be a place you know, and have ready access to. Duplicate keys for many things should be there as well. If you keep such things in your home, you are an idiot.

If you have a lick of sense, you will have copies of cancelled checks, money orders, and such with your signature to show you are paying the bills. I don’t care if it is coming out of a joint account, if you sign it, you pay it. If she signs it, she pays it. It’s that simple, and it’s amazing how many men get nailed by this piece of chicanery.

Next, have the name of a good, man friendly attorney. You can find these out by listening to men who have gotten a reasonable deal in a divorce, or by listening to women who have lost in a case. While rare, these people exist. Make sure they still practice. You need to call them, right now, and make an appointment. Again, I will wait.

At the risk of indulging in 20/20 hindsight, you should have seen the signs. She has stopped having sex with you, she is not talking to you, she won’t tell you what is wrong, and if she does speak to you it is a litany of grievances and past offenses, whether real or imagined. Your job is not to argue here. You will not convince her. No matter what you do, you can do no right. She has already steeled herself to dispose of you, and is working up a good mad so she can treat you like her mortal enemy, and not feel guilty. She is erasing every good memory of you from her head.

Her habits have changed. Women are creatures who love habit, routine, and the familiar. Is she showing a persistent interest in finances? Does she hang up the phone quickly? Does she disappear for hours on end? Does she have mysterious appointments? Chances are she is consulting an attorney, and quite likely having an affair. This doesn’t matter if she is, but it is a hint and a half for you.

There is no sense in getting angry or confronting her, such will only give her the excuse she is looking for. If you are in this state, rejoice. You have hope to get out with your skin intact.

Forewarned is forearmed, and if at all possible (And legal) you should put a tap on the phone and record calls. This is NOT for evidence. This is to give you a heads up, and let you know what she is planning. It will not be admitted in any evidence, and you should make this tap removeable and secure the tapes elsewhere. In any event, be your own detective. In addition, if you have a firearm, your bong from High school, or any recreational pharmaceuticals at all, get rid of them from your residence. Cupcake will, I promise, point out that you have an old roach clip hanging from your rear view mirror, and have you busted for residue from 1986.

Now here is where most men self destruct. Do not confront her. Do not beg, plead, argue, or cry to her. Pretend that everything is fine. Pretend you are the ignorant sucker she is counting on you to be. What you do is this – armed with the knowledge of her plans, pre-empt them. If she talks about getting the restraining order next Monday, you do so on Friday. If she talks about moving, stay home that day. Do not allow her to put her plan into action first. She is counting on the element of surprise, and if you remove that, all will fall apart on her. On that day will be the confrontation, and it is certain, if you have played your cards correctly, she will flip her lid. This is what you want.

One thing you need to remember is to stay absolutely, one-hundred percent calm at all times. The police are NOT your friends, and have been trained to look for any excuse to jail you. It doesn’t matter if you are a 140 pound accountant, and she is an Olympic weightlifter with four black belts. You are the male. You are the batterer, or the potential one. She is the poor dear who must be protected. No matter how it flies in the face of reason, all she has to do is claim being “afraid” and you are sunk. Utterly doomed. In addition, if you are calm, she will more than likely go from flipping out to absolutely berserk. This is NOT how it was supposed to be!

If the police must be called, you call them. Do not meet them outside. If you are outside, it is easier to make you be the one to leave. Do not cower inside. If they have to coax you out, you will piss them off. Be in the doorway, with your hands visible. Ask them in, and ask them to remove her, and if at all possible, have your attorney there or on the way. Cops will not screw with attorneys or step one inch out of line while they are present. The only thing a cop fears or respects is an attorney, acting in their official capacity.

Under no circumstances do you ever admit to yelling, threatening, raising your voice, raising your hand, or hitting her – and here, I don’t care if you lie. Admit nothing, find a simple story, and stick to it. Under no circumstances do you agree to leave. Don’t fight if they remove you – BUT DO NOT – I repeat - *DO* *NOT* leave. Do not surrender the house or your children If you leave, you have abandoned the home. The court will view this as black and white, anything else as an excuse, and you will never, ever get them back.

Do not let her take the kids. Do not let her take jewelry or papers. Do agree to allow her to take clothes, and only clothes, under, in order of preference, 1) You will get them for her, 2) Your attorney can supervise, 3) The officer can supervise. This will make you look good and reasonable. Let her take toiletries. Let her take nothing else. If you have more than one car, give up the one you do not want to see again. Do not let her take credit or bank cards. Make sure she has enough money for a hotel room for two nights, and about $50 for food if she has money, or write her a check for it. This will make you seem like a generous prince. Do not, however, at this point be alone with her. Have a cop with you at all times.

Upon her leaving, change the locks and notify your attorney that you want a restraining order. At this point, I want you to understand one thing, and one thing only, if you realize nothing else at all”: You are paying that attorney for their expertise. If they suggest a course of action, especially if they have a proven track record of success, do what they say. This is why you are paying them. Let them have the wheel, and you be the passenger.

Do not talk to you wife after that except as directed by your attorney.

Do not call her, or try to contact her. You have no idea how swiftly this can be twisted into stalking and harassment.

Do not let her take the kids until you have a solid parenting agreement that has the court’s blessing. Courts get real pissed off when they are disobeyed. If they haven’t ruled, they can’t be disobeyed now, can they? Congratulations sucker. You just surrendered your kids to her custody. Look them real hard in the face and hug them tight. You might not see them for a spell.

If she asks for anything, your answer should be – yes, you in the hat? No! Nimrod! Give her nothing because she asks! Yes, you in St. Louis – correct! “I’ll run that by my attorney” is the correct answer. Follow your attorney’s advice. If he says, “Screw her!” then don’t be moved by tears or begging. If he says, “Go ahead, that’ll make you look good” do it with a smile. Your attorney, and your attorney alone is your friend, because you have PAID for that friendship.

Do not sleep with her. This is begging for a rape charge. What is fundamental number two? Yes, she will do it.

Do not bring “loose women” home. Swear off drinking, your Friday night poker parties, the dope, and any vice which might be brought up against you. While it is irrelevant for you to bring it up, she will be heard. Give her no excuse that you aren’t feeding the kids right, that you are letting them stay up, that you are leaving them alone. Don’t even smoke in your house. Keep it clean, even if you have to hire a service. If DCFS shows up, you want to be Little Sammy Homemaker.

Above all, do not tip your hand. Do not show your cards to her mother, her brother, her best friend, to the girl you are banging. Two people can keep a secret, but only if one is dead. It will get back to her, and you will regret it. Yes, her Best Friend thinks she always treated you so bad, and does this feel good, and how are you going to get her, here let me undo that, and I’ll never tell a soul – yeah, right. And how many times have we heard a woman tell us a secret she promised never to tell? Especially when she has probably been sent on a dirt-collecting mission to begin with. Stay alert, and trust no friend except the ones bought and paid for.

Now, in closing, as I said, I am no attorney, and the mileage on this may vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. You will still be playing on her turf, and with people disposed to favor her, if not outright biased against you. But you use this as a guideline, after running it by your attorney, and you will stand one heck of a lot better chance than the last poor slob. How do I know this? I lifted a lot of the ideas from a the postings of feminist attornies on “wimmin’s” sites while I was trolling as a woman. It pays to know your enemies.

Dying Breed

Go into a DC area bank, library, shop, hospital department or office these days and you may find yourself playing a game called ‘spot the male’. Vast swathes of working environments are now practically all female, and they can be pretty hostile for a man to enter.

I’ve worked in places where I was the only man, and I’ve worked in places where there were no women. The male-only workplaces were far more productive and pleasant.

I worked in an office where I was the only male. I found it a very revealing experience because as I sat quietly at my desk working away I sometimes just blended into the environment and the women often forgot I was there. So I got the chance to observe an all female environment. Kind of like the fantasy of putting on an invisibility suit and hanging out in the women’s changing rooms, only a lot less fun.

The first thing that hit me about the all-female office was the sheer amount of time it took them to get anything done. Their productivity was awful. At the time I was self-employed. Sometimes I worked at home in my study and sometimes I worked in offices. A little job that took me an hour to do at home in my study turned into a major project that would take a day or more for one of these women. The main reason for this was talking. The group of women talked nonstop, and less than half of it was about work. Mostly it was vicious and petty gossiping.

But more surprising than the talking was the way they would routinely leave the office to do a little bit of shopping, buying a new dress or even to entertain a friend who stopped by the office to see them. And if they weren’t talking to one another, shopping or enjoying a visit from a friend then they were talking on the phone. And talking. And talking.

Of course, women would claim this is the fabled ‘multitasking’ which they allegedly excel at. The argument goes that it takes a woman to do more than one thing at once. Of course, this begs the question that if a woman is occupied doing several things at once is she doing them to a standard and quality as good as if she’d focused on each one at a time. Also, the type of tasks that these women were doing in the office were not rocket science, so doing several things at once was hardly the achievement of the Century.

Not only did I find them shockingly unproductive, I also found them incredibly sexist. In the office there were several soft-porn postcards and a calendar of naked and near-naked men. And often there would be a sign up with some man-bashing comment or joke. The women would also make anti-male jokes and pepper their conversations with pronouncements on the inadequacies of their menfolk. Men would never get away with this in an office these days, but for women it seems its fine. After all, whose going to challenge them?

Ten or twenty years ago all-male workplaces where women rarely ventured (such as workshops and garages) often had a female ‘glamor’ calendar on the wall featuring topless or bikini clad women. Today you never see this in these all-male workplaces, but you do see calendars and postcards of naked men in offices and workplaces where both men and women work. Presumably its okay to make a man feel uncomfortable at work, but not a woman. God, there was even a postcard of a naked man up in the barbers where I have my hair cut! Now, there were two women working there and two men, but all the customers are men. Do we really want to see this? Most men don’t.

What makes the men-bashing of the female office so hypocritical is that while they put down men, belittled them, gossiped about them and judged them behind their backs, they were utterly and pathetically dependent on men for emotional and technical support throughout their working week.

They would frequently let their moods, periods, or other minor incidents upset them and that would require them to talk to their boyfriends or husbands on the phone to put them back on track.

Computers and technical equipment presented numerous problems for them that continually required either my assistance, or a phone call to summon a tech-support man. Of course, men in offices also sometimes need help with technical problems - although not as often I suspect as women do - but the difference is that we don’t gossip and bitch about the tech-support man’s shoes and hairstyle five minutes after he’s left.

To witness a woman flirting with a male delivery man to get what she wants, then making bitchy comments about him just after he’s gone is to understand how much crueler and duplicitous women can be than men.

The constant phone-calls, bitching, emotional upsets, sexism and un-productiveness were, thankfully, not present in the all-male working environment. The all-male workplace I worked at was a building site. A range of professional tradesmen - bricklayers, plasters, painters, carpenters, electricians and plumbers - collaborating to build 24 new houses. Counter to what you might think about a building site, or how building sites are portrayed on TV and films, not once did a poster or calendar of a babe appear anywhere, and not once did any worker whistle at any passing woman. I never heard any vicious sexist jokes or comments and on the rare occasion a woman came on site, she was treated with good manners and often shown special treatment. Girlfriends and wives when mentioned were talked about fondly, and if they were the butt of any humour it was more kind than callous.

It’s hard to explain how refreshing the all-male environment is in comparison to the all-female one. It is the combination of professionally getting on with the job, the lack of bitching and histrionics, and the fact that if you need to ask for something or talk to someone you can do so in a straightforward, logical way and not have them take everything you say as a personal affront to them.

If you ever get the choice, I recommend working in the all male workplace. You’ll probably have a longer working day, less breaks and chatting, but the pride in a productive working week and the sense of self-respect in treating others and being treated in a fair, respectful, non-bitching way will more than make up for it.

Women’s double standard on strippers

Women have an appalling double standard concerning stripping. Put simply, most females seem to think a man attending a strip show is a dirty old man, a sad looser, a pervert. In contrast, they think that women attending a male strip show are just out to have a good time, are fun-loving, well-adjusted and down-to-earth.

Most of this is due to the trouble-stirring antics of the feminist lobbies. When it comes to a few blokes going to a lap-dancing club, the feminist women go ballistic.(for example, see: http://washingtontimes.com/upi-breaking/20...10946-2827r.htm )

But females think nothing of denying men and boys privacy when naked. For example, I would like to see a ban on female reporters in male locker rooms. Also female teachers should be kept out of boys changing rooms.

And as for dignity: ever seen men watch a female stripper? They tend to sit there quietly, in polite appreciation. Ever see women watch a male stripper? Aside from the girlish hysteria, laughter and humiliating comments they shout, they now grab the men and even perform oral sex on them.

Just pause a minute to think about that: there are now women - probably many of them wives and mothers - that will grab and suck a stranger's private parts as part of a fun girls night, yet if a man so much as tapped a woman's bottom in the office he'd be treated as the worst thing since Stalin.

I think women are much more easily swept-up into a mob-mentality when it comes to sexual attraction. Think of the way girls have always reacted to popular male singers and bands - think of the female hysteria over the Beatles, Tom Jones, or, more recently, Justin Timberlake. But when do you ever see the equivalent with men going nuts in that way over female singers such as Madonna. You don’t see it.

Although there is a lot more interest from women (or at least some women) in looking at the naked male form, I do not believe it is anywhere near as great as the male interest in the naked female form. A lot of these male strip shows seem to be just as much about the women laughing at the men and somehow bonding with the other women than about genuine appreciation of the man's body. If there was a real demand from women to gaze at naked men then the market to provide magazines etc for them would be far bigger than it is. At the moment, the market for porn for women (showing naked men) is insignificant.

Why is there not a massive market for female porn in the way that there is for male porn?

Even Playgirl - which is supposedly a magazine of naked men for women - is, in the words of the Psychologist Steven Pinker "clearly for gay men. It has no ads for any product a woman would buy, and when a woman gets a subscription as a gag gift she finds herself on mailing lists for gay male pornography and sex toys"

Even those women who are into porn (and I think the number is larger than has previously been assumed) are more likely to enjoy looking at naked women, or couples, or watch a film where there is a storyline.

It doesn't make sense from an evolutionary point of view for the female of the species to be turned on purely by the sight of a man's penis. We know that females and males had to evolve different mating strategies. For example, the optimal strategy for men to have most chance of success in passing on their genes was merely to fuck as many women as possible (there is no limit to the number of kids a man could sire). But the female's best strategy was to go for quality rather than quantity. Quality meaning, in this context, the man most likely to commit to her and protect her etc.

Now, what is programmed into a man's brain is: See bare female form = F**k her.

But if a woman had that same programming (i.e. See naked male = F**k him) then their best interests would be severely compromised. All a man would need to do to get her to sleep with him is to flash his bare body at her.

What is actually happening, and especially with the media’s promotion of the idea that women like looking at naked men, is that many men want to believe that women have the same sort of sexuality as men. To truly get to grips with the feminine sexuality is too boring and weird for most guys.

So I think that most of this "scene" is in fact created and sustained by exhibitionist/submissive males rather than voyeuristic females.

You even actually get many women saying that they find the naked male form either ugly or funny.

And, as I said, even when women do like porn, they seem to have a preference for looking at other naked women, couples, or something with a storyline (like a movie) rather than just photos of the penis, or a lone naked male.

Women are certainly interested by the penis - talk about them, laugh about them etc - but that’s not the same thing as being sexually aroused purely by the sight of seeing a stranger naked.

Also, being sexually aroused by seeing a naked man that she knows or seeing a porn photo of a man and woman, or a porn movie/photo with a storyline maybe common in women, but being aroused purely at the sight of the penis of a naked man who she doesn't know is not.

If it were, then there would be a massive business opportunity that is currently not being exploited. And this can't be because women are scared to purchase porn, because they flock to these strip shows, and shops that sell vibrators.

No. Women not only don’t have much appreciation for the male body, and like to humiliate men over it, they also have a real double standard over stripping. And now I’ve caught them with their pants down over

Male's Guide to a Good Conversation

The importance of holding a good conversation is highly underrated. Rapport, as we all know, is the very first thing we must achieve in picking up girls, making friends or just starting up a conversation. With rapport, things open up, both parties relax, and share their ideas with more trust, ultimately leading to a stronger relationship. In this post, I will give you the overall basics on how to hold a good conversation. Please keep note, this post is highly overcomplicated, once you become better at holding conversations they will seem second nature, so as for now, we will take a step back and see how it is done.

There are three main aspects to holding a good conversation Your posture, what you say, and the emotions you conjure.

The physical aspect of conversing is extremely important. We’ll start with your posture. Always have your body open towards the person you are talking to. With an open body, their subconscious is telling them “Hey, this person wants attention! React!”, and on the other hand, if you have a closed body, their subconscious is telling them “Ok. He wants to be alone”. What is an open body? An open body is head facing in the area of the person, torso facing the person, and legs and arms uncrossed (you can get away with crossed legs most of the time). Also, try and keep eye contact, but don’t stare. Finally, be relaxed. Maintain a relaxed posture and relaxed facial expressions, you don’t want to stress the person you are talking to out. Just keep in mind that your body language does most of the talking, and the words are there just to achieve your objective.

Next, whenever you are talking to someone, always have an objective. Is your purpose to get to know the person? Is your purpose to learn something from this person? Is your purpose to end up in the sack with this person? With an objective, you have a structure to work with and this will shape the content of what you say to this person. Keep in mind though, that objectives may change in the middle of a conversation. For example, I meet this girl, my first objective is to get to know her. Next, my objective will be to try and get her comfortable enough so I can ask her for her number. Remember, you never do more talking than 75% of the conversation, most of the time you are the catalyst for the conversation. By only talking 25% of the time, you remain mysterious to the other person, and by remaining mysterious, the person will want to get to know you more. And, the psychological aspect of human nature always wants to do the talking, so let them talk all they want! Finally, you must try to relate your objective to the persons life. What I mean, is to take what you want from the person, and have them talk about themselves while they are at it. In the example above, my objective was to get to know her, so of course I will ask her about her life, and have her talking about what she does. See, the focus is not on me.

Lastly, the emotional aspect of the conversation. This is what makes the conversation fun. If you ask dull questions, and talk about dull things, you will…have a dull conversation. Try and incorporate emotions in what you ask. The five senses are seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting. Emotions stem from these five senses, and if you can somehow sneak in sensory questions, you will evoke some sort of emotion. And from there, you can play off the emotion.

Coalesce these three aspects and you should get a good conversation. Remember, however much you put into the conversation, is how much you will get out of it. Now go and practice.

7 Habits of Highly Effective Nutritional Programs

Take a look around the nutrition world. Confusing, isn’t it?

Conflicting advice is everywhere, and you’re stuck in the middle. You wonder whether anyone out there even knows what they’re talking about, or whether the experts will ever reach a consensus on anything. You start to wonder whether you’ll need a degree in nutritional biochemistry before you can lose that stubborn abdominal fat.

So what’s the deal? Why so much confusion? Why does one expert suggest that high protein is best for everyone, while another expert suggests high carb and yet another expert suggests high fat? Besides, what exactly do high protein, high carb, and high fat really mean? And why are other experts telling us that food choices should be based on our "metabolic type," our "blood type," or our "ancestry"?

One expert says to eat like a Neanderthal and another says eat like a Visigoth, or perhaps a Viking. But while searching for nutritional Valhalla, most people just get lost and eat like a Modern American—and end up looking more Sumo than Samurai.

These days, we have a cacophony of expertise: lots of confusing noise from the experts drowning out the signal of truth.

On the surface, it appears as if today’s nutrition technology is quite advanced. After all, we have at our disposal more nutrition information than ever before. More money is being spent on nutrition research than in any time in history. Every day, impressive strides are being made in the field. Dozens of nutrition experts are rising to prominence. Yet simultaneously we’re witnessing a steadily increasing rate of obesity, an increase in nutrition-related illness (Diabetes, CVD, and Syndrome X), and an increase in nutrition-related mortality.

Part of the problem is that much of the information hasn’t reached the people who need it. Part of the problem is that even when it does reach those people, they often don’t use it. And certainly, the problem is multifactorial—there are probably many more reasons than I can list here.

How much more information do we need?

But the curious thing is that many people try to solve the problem by seeking out more information. They know it all and still want more. If there’s one thing of which I am absolutely convinced, it’s that a lack of good nutrition information isn’t what prevents us from reaching our goals. We already know everything we need to know. Sometimes the real problem isn’t too little information but too much.

All the fundamental principles you need to achieve good health and optimal body composition are out there already, and have been for years. Unfortunately, with 500 experts for every fundamental principle, and very little money to be made from repeating other people’s ideas, experts must continually emphasize the small (and often relatively unimportant) differences between their diet/eating plans and the diet/eating plans of all the other experts out there.

In the world of advertising and marketing, this is called "differentiation." By highlighting the small distinctions and dimming out the large similarities between their program and all the others, they’re jostling for your next nutritional dollar.

Now, and let me be clear on this, I’m not accusing nutrition experts of quackery.

Yes, some programs are utter crap. Those are generally quite easy to pick out and don’t merit discussion here. But most experts do know what they are talking about, can get results, and wholeheartedly believe in what they’re doing. Many of the differences between them are theoretical and not practical, and on the fundamentals they generally agree completely.

It’s all good — sorta

In fact, many of the mainstream programs out there, if not most of them, will work. To what extent they work, and for how long, varies. As long as a program is internally consistent, follows a few basic nutritional tenets, and as long as you adhere to it consistently, without hesitation, and without mixing principles haphazardly taken from other programs, you’ll get some results. It’s that simple, and that hard (as you can see, results depend as much on psychology as on biochemistry).

But if you’re like most people, you’ll first survey all the most often discussed programs before deciding which to follow. And in this appraisal, you’ll get confused, lost, and then do the inevitable. That’s right, you’ll revert back to your old, ineffectual nutrition habits.

Instead of parsing out the similarities between all the successful plans out there, the common principles that affect positive, long-term change, you get thrown off the trail by the stench of the steaming piles of detail.

The Atkins program works for all patients under the direct care of the Atkins team—as long as patients follow it. The Zone program works for all patients under the direct care of the Sears team —as long as they follow it. The Pritkin Diet works for all patients under the care of the Pritkin team— as long as they follow it.

Yet, not all three plans are identical. How, then, can they all get impressive improvements in health and body composition? Well, either each team somehow magically draws the specific patient subpopulations most in need of their plan (doubtful) or each system possesses some basic fundamental principles that are more important than the ratios of protein to carbs to fats.

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Nutritional Programs

Here’s my take on it. I call these principles, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Nutritional Programs," a shameless and possibly illegal play on Steven Covey’s book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." (Great book, by the way—you should read it sometime.)

These aren’t the newest techniques from the latest cutting-edge plan. Rather, they are simple, time-tested, no nonsense habits that you need to get into when designing a good eating program.

1. Eat every 2-3 hours, no matter what. You should eat between 5-8 meals per day.

6. Drink only non-calorie containing beverages, the best choices being water and green tea.

7. Eat mostly whole foods (except workout and post-workout drinks).So what about calories, or macronutrient ratios, or any number of other things that I’ve covered in other articles? The short answer is that if you aren’t already practicing the above-mentioned habits, and by practicing them I mean putting them to use over 90% of the time (i.e., no more than 4 meals out of an average 42 meals per week violate any of those rules), everything else is pretty pointless.

Moreover, many people can achieve the health and the body composition they desire using the 7 habits alone. No kidding! In fact, with some of my clients I spend the first few months just supervising their adherence to these 7 rules—an effective but costly way to learn them.

Of course, if you have specific needs, or if you’ve reached the 90% threshold, you may need a bit more individualization beyond the 7 habits.

It's all about the Looks

The more I look at this entire point in the game. The more I realize that I believe that the old adage that looks are important is bullshi!t, let me repeat good looks are important is bullsh!t. (don't get me wrong without the eye test you got nothing until after she gets to know you)

I have about 15 girls interested and I'm a pretty unattractive guy (with glasses on. I ain't a person that will turn heads) but I have the talents and other dominating traits that makes me attractive.

traits to have1.) a passionOne of the top things next to number 9. Without a passion and a reason to living life your life can become controlled much easier. Mine is baseball and I refuse to let go of that dream of mine.

2.) I refuse to give up any power on my own part and conform to others view of me (unless I see personal growth development hindered as a result of my own actions)When someone says "I don't like the way that you play because I don't play that way" I could care less especially when this is the same person is screwing up and letting the other team score.

3.) I have talentsI play hackie-sack and am pretty good at it. This is something that I enjoy and refuse to give up on. Then I can write really good and get classes in stiches over my writing.

4.) I'm creativeI made up a Macbeth Act 5 play up starring only me. No one else is in it. The women and other people eat this up. They give me compliments and the girls give me smiles for it.

5.) I'm socially adaptableI manage to make friends with just about anyone and everyone that I walk up to. Most people can't go up to anyone and just start talking to other people off the street. I've made lots of firends this way.

6.) I've got lots of friendsI know many people that would help me out. This also goes as social proof. something women covet in a man.

7.) I know when to fight and when not to fightI refuse to fight when there is no reason to fight. I only fight when need be for protection of me or a friend.

8.) I do interesting and exciting thingsI go out to eat, entertain my hobbies, go to movies, visit with friends, make movies, and many other things.

9.) I have high self-esteemThis translate into a healthy living habit that everyone on this site needs. This is the heart and soul of being a DJ. Without it you would have a hard time doing anything on the list.

10.) I use kinestetics on everyone to give off good vibesI go with Kino on everyone not because I'm bi but because kino puts everyone I've ever met at ease. like a pat on the back or a high five. shake of hands. I've made friends this way too. The principal of my school is friends with me because I managed to be nice and cordial and I would meet up with him with a hand shake and a good "How are you doing?" You may joke and say that "I'm a brownnoser but it makes my life easier when I'm able to get me and friends out of trouble."

11.) I'm in a general good mood and an overall nice guythis is caused by high self esteem but I should restate what the good and bad nice guy is.

bad nice guy - doormat who will not stick up for himself. Refuses to tell anybody off and gets infatuated easiliy. Low self-esteem

good nice guy - won't take a shit but is nice and cordial. Tells whats on his mind. Is able to go up to anybody and start a conversation with. Befriends individuals easily. High Self-Esteem

12.) I am able to make people laughThis is half the battle when your able to get someone to laugh and carry on the conversation. My stories or movies that I make are funny and make people laugh at the redicoulousness of the entire thing.

13.) I am persistent and refuse to give upI may not be played now in baseball and not have anything done to me but I sure as hell refuse to give up. I know eventually I'll get my chance. This translates over to women in the fact that I won't give up until I get a definite no. Do not get this mixed up with oneitis. I date other girls while trying to get with that one girl.

14.) I dress how I want to and basically say "I'm happy in my own skin but I try to constantly improve myself to the best of my abilityI don't fold under societal pressures to change the way I look. I dress usually in gym shorts/baseball t-shirt. I don't care. Some people yell at me because of this because I should be in pants and a t-shirt. I tell them it is my own way of dressing and if they don't like it they can leave me alone. This shows that I'm standing up for what I enjoy.

15.) I make myself scarce.I refuse to just have free time. I keep it constantly busy because once you have little to no time you become rare. People in general covet what they can't get. Therefore when I give someone some of my time. They covet this for they know that they got something that not many other individuals get to do. I play baseball, fish, hunt, and play more baseball. This usually drives people up the wall and you will have good stories to tell from the interesting events.

The more I think about it the whole I want to get big card and the I want to look like a model sexy. That may get you to pass the eye test but it means jack after that. Other then you are just a trophey to the girl you are dating. Therefore the whole I want good looks thing is bullsh!t.

With all of these things you won't need the good looks to get in the door because you already own yourself. Don't give up yourself because when you give the power away you totally screw yourself over. Once given up it is very hard to regain. Just use this checklist and add your own ideas to the list.

Meeting Ms Right

Meeting Miss Right

Before y’all chew my ass off and accuse me of “one-itis” for talking about Miss Right, save it, because this post isn’t about “finding that one special woman.” It’s about meeting lots of special women.

But I especially wanted to get the attention of those guys who are eager to bash the idea of finding “miss right”. Those who are the most eager to attack the idea, are the ones who have a secret desire to find that one special woman. That is what you are trying to squelch that urge in yourselves--because you fear it, knowning full well that it has never led you to your prize, only to LJBF land.

The reason I wanted to get your attention is because this post aims to fix that flawed idea known as “finding that one special woman.” And make no mistake, the search for that one special woman IS a flawed idea. Unfortunately, because it is flawed many of you have thrown it out completely, and in the process you’ve also tossed out a part of it that isn’t flawed.

The part that is NOT flawed is the desire to be with a woman who is special. A woman who is better for *you* than the rest, because you and she have good chemistry and “click” together. A woman who makes you feel better than the rest, who is more fun to be with, and whom you enjoy being with even when you aren’t having sex. How could that be flawed?

The flaw, however, is that if you start out trying to find just ONE woman it gets in the way of finding a *special* woman! Why? Because to find a woman who is really *special*, you have to meet and spend time with *many* women. If right from the get go you are focused on trying to find just ONE perfect woman, you will never find her. To catch a prized butterfly you can’t use a net the size of one prize butterfly.

Here are three good reasons why you need to be meeting MANY women:

1. Dealing with the reality of availability. If you are searching for a “special” woman, you must pick her from the pool of women that you are actively involved with, because those are the women who are truly yours for the picking. The fantasy that you can pick from any woman out there is just that, a fantasy. Reality is the pool of women that you actually meet and get involved with--that is what is available to you for certain.

2. Basing your choice on experience rather than fantasy. Another reason you need to be getting together with a large “pool” of women is because only then can you truly know if you have good chemistry with them. If you think you can just look at a girl and know if she is someone that you’d have good chemistry with, then you will spend too much time girl watching and too little time girl meeting. You may imagine that you are getting closer to “finding Miss Right” by just “looking” but in fact you are making no progress at all, because looking by itself isn’t enough to make an accurate determination, it is just a form of fantasizing.

3. Keeping fear and desperation out of your decision making process. The third reason you need to meet many women is because it’s crucial to become comfortable with the whole process of meeting women. Only then will your decisions, words, and actions come from the healthy, genuine confidence that a man gets from having several desirable women to choose from.

Many people never break through their fear of the “dating game”. The moment anyone seems like a possible “relationship prospect” they start clinging to that person, and focus all their energy on that one person, convincing themselves that they’ve found “THE ONE” (even when they hardly know her!), because she offers them the promise of never having to go through the torture of meeting anyone else. Sometimes the woman feels the same way, and then they both rush into a relationship even if they don’t have good chemistry at all--they just convince themselves they’re right for each other because they dread the prospect of looking for someone else. Make sure you’re not “at risk” of ending up in a relationship like that by conquering your fears till you are comfortable with the whole process of getting women.

Okay, if you’re still with me it’s time to move on to the topic of how to increase the chances of meeting women that you have really good chemistry with, how to recognize them, and how to avoid those women that you aren’t going to have good chemstry with.

Surprise... The secrets of how to do this haven’t been figured out yet! The main purpose of this post is to find out who here is SERIOUSLY interested in this topic, because I get the feeling that many guys here are NOT really interested in things like “good chemistry” just whether the girl looks hot or not. So those of you who ARE seriously interested in meeting a girl that you really truly “click with”, let me know in this thread and if there are enough of us maybe we can get a discussion going among ourselves to discover the answer.

Tools of the Trade

Ever go out of town and leave a contact or clients information at home on the dresser. Well if are in the circle you should be aware of a device know as the Blackberry. Be sure to check it out and get one if you don't have one. When you need to email or contact your client it's the tool i would suggest.

The Wingman

Have you ever been in a situation where you just needed that wingman to help you nail this one date. When i say wingman it can be male or female. Wing's are very important in this dating game. They help silence the rude,the cockblocker. Some people just hate for you to take the shine away from them on girls night or a night out with a buddy. Make sure your wing is a great dresser, able to order great drinks and have intelligent conversation when needed. Or be able to have stupid conversation for the stupid buddy your ideal date may have with them. Sometimes the Wing won't be able to get you out of the blue. Reason there are things called groups. So scary when you think about it but groups of women are what make men sweat. Groups of men are what make women nervous also. No one is safe from a group unless you can have the wing be your support as you go in for the dive. I often go to clubs alone because i have learned the do's and don'ts of groups and how to pull the women i want to talk to. 80% of the time is a breeze but there are times when i could have used a wing......

The Real Truth about Club Five

DCBachelor had a bad experience at Club Five so i decided to check it out for myself and see what's wrong with this place. Well i did not go the usual slick head to toe look i decided to go as newbie to the city. What's the newbie look you ask.... Polo Shirt,Jeans, Nice shoes and a ipod. A what, an ipod. Yes i took an ipod. Now i get to the front door and ask what's the cover charge,the bouncer looks me up and down and tells me $10 dollars. I said to myself i can have a nice drink at Zola's for that price. So i paid, remeber this is an experiment. Stepped in the place with music blasting so loud i couldn't think. Now how am i suppose to talk to females if i can't even think. Every I turned there were groups of girls and guys. Some people danced and other were wallflowers. Since i paid $10 dollars,there is no way in the world im gonna be a wallflower i can do that at home. The club was not what i expected at all, as far as people it was up to me to make the magic happen. And being PM,it was the good part. When i go in clubs first thing i do is sit back and scan the whole club. Reason, i want to see what i want and know what the odds are in the club. Second i also eye the freaks, socalites, stuck-ups, flirts, and losers. Third it's the guys i eye to see who is with who, you don't wanna fight when you just paid your money. Well i say a female that i wanted to talk to she was with a friend and with confidence i said hello to both maintained direct eye contact and conversation started off great, well there was a probelm. My fellow PM's there was an beer bottle sitting there not attended to. So Mr.Macho comes and steps in my conversation and i step back because i don't wanna get my shoes stomped. I say to the guy well who are you, he says these two females are holding my drink. Oh really....

I am the type of guy to not give a shit about another male wanting to talk to a female, i dont fight over females. So i told him go ahead, you seem very insecure,i don't wanna make you kill yourself and i left the club. Club Five needs better music, better service and a theme of it's own. You can lose yourself in Club Five if you don't have a plan. For the money it's not worth it at all. Want a nice spot to hang out try Zola's.

The Professonal Life 101

Who said that success was easy to begin with,it comes with things we would never imagine in life. I hit Georgetown up Friday night to see the sights and wonder in the world to bring back tidbits for my fellow PM's. Well let me say some people are not meant to be in this lifestyle. There are some things you have to leave at home and some things you bring with you. Wonder what they are....

When going out on the town..1. Leave the Blackberry in the house2. Don't wear the same clothes you wore at the job3. Ladies change the shoes, remember you want to walk in the spot feeling like you own the place, you wont in those work shoes.4. Breath Mints5. A Friend who knows how to mingle, leave the shy ones alone

Ladies you come in groups for what to have a singles meeting....Mingle with the guys and stop having meetings. Going out is for fun and conversation. I ran into several groups of ladies all hanging in one circle the whole night. I stepped in the middle of each group and let them know that men are here who would love to talk to them and how can they if you are having a meeting. One group decided to have me in the conversation, which was about men and food. The other group got mad and left. Well im off on another adventure.....

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Welcome Professionals of DC

Well I finally got off my ass after losing my great job and started this blog for us professionals of the city. It's not the average life, far different from college life. Join me as i travel the city with tales and tid bits on living the Professional Life. Yes i found a great gig now as Graphic Designer for a great firm so im am loving life.

I go by the name of PM short for Professional Match. Now if you got that far with me, you are in for a ride. These are things you will be learning about as you continue to visit me.....