Divorce, the great game changer

How to cope with the war zone that is divorce. Dealing with the disappointment and heartache of knowing that someone that you once loved probably no longer feels the same about you.

Divorce: it's a war zoneDivorce is a serious matter, of that there is no doubt. It can be difficult to believe that your life has imploded and you are now standing in the middle of a rubble strewn road. You know there is no way back, it's definitely all over and at the moment, you can see no way forward either.

How the hell did it come to this? How did the landscape change from green and sunlit to dust, fire and desolation.

I'm never getting divorced! When you get married, are full of optimism, not thinking about the possibility of one day getting divorced. You hope that you will be with someone you love for the rest of your life. You know it won’t always be easy and you make promises that you will always love each other and look after each other. How wrong could you have been?

Wedded bliss You buy a house and set up home surrounded by all those lovely, shiny things you put on your wedding list and were lucky enough to be given; the poshtoaster, the cast iron cookware, thedesigner kettle.

You both have good jobs and then you have a baby or two or three even and you are all one big happy family but then things start to go wrong. You discover that your wife is having an affair or you find yourself drinking half a bottle of whisky a night because of the pressure of work.

The big D: divorce Before you know it one of you has left the marital home and you’re staring at a divorce petition. Then your lover tells you he doesn’t want you anymore now you've dumped your husband or you’ve upped the alcohol intake because not only is work getting to you but how else are you going to fill those long empty evenings now you are in the middle of divorce proceedings?

Depressed? Upset? Well, who wouldn’t be? There is a section of My Life After Divorce which is about some of the unpleasant things that can lead to marriage breakdown and where you can get help after divorce. Domestic abuse and alcohol dependence plus problems with money can all chip away at a relationship until there is nothing left but anger, resentment, unhappiness; and divorce.

But no matter how hard it gets, and it gets pretty tough for many people there is, yes there is life after divorce and there are ways and means of dealing with the very worst things that life can throw at you.