The Story

When Tom goes to court for crashing into a fire hydrant while tweeting, his unhinged addiction to technology becomes painfully apparent. The judge decides on a punishment appropriate for the crime: no screens for Tom for one full week. That means no phones, computers, iPads - ANY of that distracting technology. For Tom, this is worse than going to jail. He tries to re-create his favorite technologies with a physical Pinterest board and a paper iPhone, but it's no use. He just can't cut this addiction.

Leslie approaches her department with a serious Pawnee issue. Apparently, Pawnee citizens are going at it hard - old people-style. And as a result, STD levels among Pawnee seniors have reached record levels. Leslie and the department decide to arrange an education session on safe sex practices at the senior center.

Meanwhile, in Washington D.C., April and Ben finally meet the congressman whose campaign they've been working on. Congressman Murray is well-spoken, charming, and has dashing appeal. But April can't help but notice that Murray seems to be something of a... robot. When he's not charming the public, he sits at his desk all day and stares straight ahead, completely deadpan. Ben at first thinks April's crazy, but he soon realizes that she really does have a point... what is Murray's deal?

Leslie and her team begin the presentation at the city center, and the surprisingly raunchy questions make it very clear that this education session was long overdue. But Leslie's interrupted by none other than Marcia and Marshall Langman, the town's morality watchdogs. Apparently, Pawnee's abstinence-only sex education law applies to all government officials, and they're here to enforce. But this isn't the end of it for Leslie; she'll find a way to make sure the seniors get proper sex education.

Ron recognizes that Tom's technology addiction problem is much worse than anyone anticipated. He takes Tom to his cabin for the day to try and get his attention off electronics and do a full cleanse. When Tom has difficulty coping, Ron suggests that he purge, telling Ron all of the things he does with technology that he misses. But Ron doesn't know what he's in for, and is met with hours on end of Tom rambling.

Try as she might, law is law, and Leslie is left with no other option but to go back to the senior center and teach abstinence-only education. When Leslie's forced to read from a ridiculous pamphlet explaining that the human body is the devil's playground, she reaches her breaking point. Leslie does a condom demonstration and throws condoms to the audience, much to Marshall and Marcia's horror.

Tom finally cracks, and tricks Ron into letting him use his car with the promise of buying steaks. Really, Tom goes to Best Buy to buy an iPhone, then proceeds to crash his car into a nearby tree while tweeting. Ron is disappointed in Tom, but agrees to not turn him as long as he reads a giant manual on car repair, cover-to-cover, and then help him fix the car. That, and he must look someone in the eye like a real man when he talks to them and not look not at his phone. Tom is grateful for the second chance, realizing that he got off easy.

Leslie's actions are met with an official censure from the mayor's office, but Leslie still isn't ready to give up this fight just yet. She makes an appearance on "The Final Word with Perd," arguing to get rid of abstinence only education in Pawnee. Despite the fact that most of Pawnee may disagree with her, she's ready to put in the effort to change their minds!