EDITORIAL: Your right to bear Pop-Tarts

Published: Friday, March 7, 2014 at 04:19 PM.

We’ll say this up front: State Sen. Greg Evers’ “Pop-Tart bill” is smarter than his “warning shot” bill. The warning shot bill (see our March 8 editorial) would give a pass to folks who fire guns to frighten possible attackers. The Pop-Tart bill, so named by observers who evidently think the idea is funny, would try to drill common sense into school officials who depend way too much on zero-tolerance policies.
You know what we mean. Last month, a 10-year-old boy in Ohio was suspended for pretending his finger was a gun and pointing it at another student. Last March, an 8-year-old in Maryland was suspended after chewing his Pop-Tart into the shape of a pistol. And so on. We come across these stories all the time.
But maybe not in Florida, if Sen. Evers’ SB 1060 becomes law.
The bill specifies: “Simulating a firearm or weapon while playing or wearing clothing or accessories that depict a firearm or weapon or expressing an opinion regarding a right guaranteed by the Second Amendment … is not grounds for disciplinary action or referral to the criminal justice or juvenile justice system.”
Then it gives some examples, including this one: “Brandishing a partially consumed pastry or other food item to simulate a firearm or weapon.” Hence the bill's nickname.
And this one: “Drawing a picture or possessing an image of a firearm or weapon.”
And this one: “Vocalizing sounds of an imaginary firearm or weapon.”
If all of this sounds ridiculous, remind yourself that children have been kicked out of school for saying “Bang! You’re dead!” and for taking aim with loaded Pop-Tarts. In other words, for being children.
Booting them from class were teachers and administrators who had let ironclad zero-tolerance policies take the place of calm, reasoned responses to minor misbehavior. The kid’s pretending he has a gun, so he has to go. Period.
SB 1060 (and similar legislation in the House) would, at the very least, remind teachers that there are less drastic ways of dealing with youngsters who lock ’n’ load with lunchroom food. School officials should save the zero-tolerance policies for real threats, real weapons, and troublemakers who really mean it when they say “You’re dead!”

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We’ll say this up front: State Sen. Greg Evers’ “Pop-Tart bill” is smarter than his “warning shot” bill. The warning shot bill (see our March 8 editorial) would give a pass to folks who fire guns to frighten possible attackers. The Pop-Tart bill, so named by observers who evidently think the idea is funny, would try to drill common sense into school officials who depend way too much on zero-tolerance policies.
You know what we mean. Last month, a 10-year-old boy in Ohio was suspended for pretending his finger was a gun and pointing it at another student. Last March, an 8-year-old in Maryland was suspended after chewing his Pop-Tart into the shape of a pistol. And so on. We come across these stories all the time.
But maybe not in Florida, if Sen. Evers’ SB 1060 becomes law.
The bill specifies: “Simulating a firearm or weapon while playing or wearing clothing or accessories that depict a firearm or weapon or expressing an opinion regarding a right guaranteed by the Second Amendment … is not grounds for disciplinary action or referral to the criminal justice or juvenile justice system.”
Then it gives some examples, including this one: “Brandishing a partially consumed pastry or other food item to simulate a firearm or weapon.” Hence the bill's nickname.
And this one: “Drawing a picture or possessing an image of a firearm or weapon.”
And this one: “Vocalizing sounds of an imaginary firearm or weapon.”
If all of this sounds ridiculous, remind yourself that children have been kicked out of school for saying “Bang! You’re dead!” and for taking aim with loaded Pop-Tarts. In other words, for being children.
Booting them from class were teachers and administrators who had let ironclad zero-tolerance policies take the place of calm, reasoned responses to minor misbehavior. The kid’s pretending he has a gun, so he has to go. Period.
SB 1060 (and similar legislation in the House) would, at the very least, remind teachers that there are less drastic ways of dealing with youngsters who lock ’n’ load with lunchroom food. School officials should save the zero-tolerance policies for real threats, real weapons, and troublemakers who really mean it when they say “You’re dead!”