Lasertomato (Part 3): The Death Star Diagrammed

Time for part three of the investigative reports on lasers and tomatoes and their relationship. Hopefully, you can see why this information has been so hard to find. Also…it’s a guest post! Today’s post is written by my good friend and MLC, Sheri (see here, here, and also here for details), and she is obviously a trustworthy and reliable source for all things #lasertomato. Now, onward to the report!

As we all now know, tomatoes are quite necessary in terms of the composition of lasers. Since I am obviously not an engineer, I cannot explain to you the intricacies of why that is so. Too bad an engineer is not writing this particular post. A history major is! Therefore, I can only tell you that it is so. And you should believe me. Because I am obviously an authority on the subject.

So Moose and I were discussing the subject of laser tomatoes and their uses–well, more like we were tweeting back and forth the uses and functions of the tomato for lasers–and I decided that the Death Star has a very large tomato in the midst of it. It makes very obvious sense, does it not? For the very largest superlaser, only the very largest tomato will do. Anyhow, Moose was telling me that she was going to write a two-part post on the laser tomato, but I felt that a two-part post was quite insufficient and a Post the Third would be necessary to make it feel like a complete whole. After all, she does post three times a week, you know. For Moose to only put up a two-part post for a three-posts-a-week-blog seems… outlandish. Or something.

So I volunteered to supply her with some pictures, and one thing led to another, and here I am writing a guest post. Whew, now that is over with, here is the real substance of this post.

First of all, I would like to comment that you really ought to know what the Death Star looks like already. If not, I charge you to go watch Star Wars right now. The last three episodes is quite sufficient, though if you would like to watch the first three as well, I suppose I won’t disagree. I really do prefer the last three, though. But that is besides the point. For those who have no idea what a Death Star looks like, I have graciously drawn a very striking likeness. May I present below:

You will note that the Death Star is located in outer space. That’s why the background is black, and not white. That should be pretty obvious in itself. But to tell you the truth, I actually didn’t realize it until I started drawing the second picture, whereupon I decided that I needed to do both pictures all over again. Anyways.

Now, if you want to know what the inside of the Death Star looks like from a very accurate plan that I found on the Internet while doing my very thorough research, you may go here. You will notice in that picture that it’s not obvious at all what is within the Main Reactor of the Death Star. The reason for that? They simply don’t want you to know that there’s a very large tomato in there. If you read the previous post, you will know that there is a government conspiracy that is hiding the effects and powers of the tomato from us. That’s why even the Galactic Empire hasn’t revealed it.

But here, I have graciously supplied you with yet another exceptionally accurate picture of the inside of the Death Star:

I haven’t elaborated much, because I didn’t think it was very necessary except to point out that there is a very large tomato inside the core of the Death Star. That, I think, is the focus of the picture.

Consider yourself informed. I’ve done so at the risk of my life. Hopefully the Death Star won’t find out that I’ve leaked one of it’s most toppest of secrets.

One Trackback/Pingback

[…] So… I know I’m on hiatus, but I wrote a guest post for my friend–completely on accident. You know, I accidentally sat down and drew pictures and typed all these words in this order… all accidentally…. And I thought I’d share with you all here. Enjoy! Time for part three of the investigative reports on lasers and tomatoes and their relationship. Hopefully, you can see why this information has been so hard to find. Also…it's a guest post! Today's post is written by my good friend and MLC, Sheri (see here, here, and also here for details), and she is obviously a trustworthy and reliable source for all things #lasertomato. Now, onward to the report! As we all now know, tomatoes are quite … Read More […]