Saturday, March 31, 2012

"What will we stare at?" asked Leonard, who was several ounces shy of a quart.

"Each other, Leonard, each other," she replied wearily. Jessica found that telling Leonard something twice was twice as effective as once.

"A contest?" What does the winner get?"

"Another day in paradise," she said, "a.k.a. not much."

He didn't understand, but he was used to that.

They began the staring contest, but soon Leonard forgot what they were doing and started staring at Jessica's breasts instead of her face. Since he wasn't laughing, or even blinking, he hadn't lost the contest, but this was clearly a violation of the rules, as any school child knows. But Leonard was no school child. Yet he was an adult only in years. He had the mind of a simpleton, but the penis of a Clydesdale, which was why Jessica had married him in the first place.

"You won the staring contest, Leonard," she said. He clapped his hands and squealed.

"Yay!"

They retired to the bedroom for the third time that day. There were eight million stories in the naked city, and Jessica would tell Leonard one of the dirtier ones to get him aroused.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Friday, March 2, 2012

Well, as they used to say in the newspaper business (remember newspapers?), that's 30.

In this case, it's also literally 30, since that's how many Creature Features exist. That's the number I worked up as a syndication proposal a few years ago, and I don't anticipate adding to that number, barring something extremely unexpected happening, like a spaceship coming down from Neptune looking for comic strips (that's assuming newspapers are thriving on Neptune).