MrCleveland, you have had three different welcome messages on your talk page from such eminent Uncyclopedians as Andorin Kato, The Very Reverend Zimulator, and Ljlego. These messages have provided you with a wealth of resources on the correct way to create "humour". You haven't read them. Any of them. You've been here for a year and a half and you haven't paid any attention to repeated advice on the best way to write articles, and now you want to waste a Pee Review on more advice that you will most likely ignore? I'm not angry, MrCleveland... just disappointed. My words on the matter would be a waste of my time. So now I'm going to copy and paste all the pertinant parts of the messages left by the aforementioned Uncyclopedians:

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Pee Review, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim(Talk)Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Also, pay attention to this message from the Right Honourable Ljlego:

"Seriously, friend, this is your final warning. Your list of deleted contributions is large, and MrCleveland would be considered vanity were it coherent. Do not recreate anymore deleted pages, and please read the links posted above. Further action deemed inappropriate will result in a ban.-SirLjlego, GUNVFHFIYCWotMSGWHotMPWotMAotMEGAEDMANotM+ (Talk) 20:29, 22 March 2008 (UTC)"

The lowest score I have ever awarded. I might even make a prize for your talk page, but I guess that would be pointless because you never read it. This article has been moved to your userspace. Please keep it there.