(Full Disclosure: I write for The Revolution Will Be Televised so everything I say above should be taken with a pinch of whatever condiment you like because it airs on BBC3. Oh, and it won last year’s BAFTA for Best Comedy, while we’re talking about quality programming)

I don’t listen to Radio 3. I don’t enjoy the programming, it’s almost all repeats of music that has been around for hundreds of years, and I suspect with the amount of Wagner they play that everyone who does listen to it is probably a bit anti-semitic. Radio 3 is not for me.

I don’t, however, want to see the BBC axe it.

More than that, there are some channels I think are actively detrimental to human life. With the tag-team property fetishism of Philandkirsty and Sarah Beenie, Channel 4 supported a bubble in the housing market for more than a decade. Their relentless propaganda claiming property ownership was the only route to happiness fuelled the sorts of mortgage lending that led to Northern Rock going bust, priced ordinary people our of most city centres and created it an atmosphere in which social housing now can’t be built because of the effect it will have on house prices. If you build a council house you’re robbing from the real humans, you see. Essentially, I’m saying Channel 4 are mainly responsible for the recession, and for the crisis in housing stock we currently face. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing us he wasn’t Kirsty Allsop.

But I wouldn’t cheer if Channel 4 closed.

The reason for this – and here comes the science part – is that I actually don’t think my personal viewing preferences should govern all the television that exists. Nor do I think my personal preferences should be the yardstick by which the BBC’s performance is measured.

So here’s why we shouldn’t close BBC3, even if you don’t like the programmes it makes.

Nighty Night, Monkey Dust, Pulling, High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman, 28 Acts In 28 Minutes, Mongrels,Dead Boss, Him And Her, Annually Retentive. Those are all excellent comedies you wouldn’t have without BBC3.

Oh, and then there are the little shows like Little Britain, The Mighty Boosh and Gavin and Stacey, which some people liked..

And, just thinking about what’s currently on, there’s Uncle (giving a new performer a deserved lead in a BBC sitcom), Bluestone 42 (which is both ambitious and relevant) and The Revolution Will Be Televised (which was nominated for a Rose d’Or last year as well as winning some award or other). There’s Live At The Electric, giving new acts (with some notable omissions – ahem) some of their first television exposure as well as being presented by the oldest man in comedy (unfortunately, the new acts are sacrificed after the show so that Russell Kane can drink their blood and soothe the ache in the lump of black gristle he has instead of a heart).

So let’s talk genre. And mention The Fades, Being Human, Torchwood and In The Flesh.

In fact with Little Britain USA, La La Land, and the US versions of Torchwood, Pulling, Being Human, and Dead Boss,BBC3 has exported loads more television programmes to America than, say, ITV1. Which has managed Jeremy Kyle USA. In fact, Sharon Horgan alone has exported twice as many programmes to America as ITV1. Programmes which started on BBC3.

BBC3 has commissioned a lot of great comedy over the last ten years. And, importantly, when BBC exists more comedy is commissioned. Which means something you like is more likely to be commissioned. More is better than less. When you cheer the demise of BBC3 you are shouting “Huzzah! I shall have fewer choices of what to watch in the future! Thank Christ! I’m such an idiot I usually end up watching complete shit!”

But it’s so expensive! Yes, and it’s not like that’s offset by its producing world-beating cash cows like Little Britain and Gavin and St-oh.

Yes, there are also some terrible programmes, quite a few terrible programmes. But there are terrible programmes on every channel. Have you tried watching television during the day? It’s almost enough to make you pull your trousers back up and get back to work. Almost.

Then there’s the cost argument. The BBC needs to save money because the licence fee’s been frozen. And it has to find it somewhere. So why not here?

Because the money isn’t being saved. It’s being spent again.

Closing BBC3 will save between £80 and £100 million. That sounds like loads.

Until you realise that they have pledged to spend £30 million of it on new drama for BBC1. And £30 million of it creating BBC1+1. Oh, and there will still be a programming budget for BBC3, but it will be online only.

I would say that only the BBC could get rid of something that cost £100 million and only save themselves (at best) £40 million, but that’s patently not true. I reckon I could.

So, if the programmes are successful and it’s not saving much money, why is it being done?

Now, call me an old cynic, but it seems to me that the sorts of people who watch BBC3 are generally not the sorts of people who read the sorts of newspapers who will influence the sort of government who will oversee the next licence fee agreement. This is a move to show the BBC can make tough choices (unless that tough choice involves standing up to governments).

What makes it more nakedly political is the use of the money to fund BBC1+1, a channel that will only be watched by people who can’t use their set top box, and haven’t discovered the Internet. Old people.

It’s yet another broadside in our current war on youth.

From the removal of the EMA, through the introduction of tuition fees, the removal of housing benefit for under-25s, to the current proposals to remove all benefits from under-25s, we are at war with our young people. We used to hate them because of their sexting, their hoodies, and their riots. Now I’m not sure we even need a reason.

A fifth of them – close to one million under-25s – are unemployed, and the message coming out again and again from the political class is that they don’t matter. Politically, they are expendable, and now we’ve decided they’re culturally expendable, too.

And then we can hitch up our petticoats in horror when they dare listen to that beast Russell Brand, and we can ask ourselves “What is to be done with the young people? Why are they so angry? What have we ever done to them?” before we get an attack of the vapours and lie around honking like broken geese, perplexed by the incredible mystery of it all.

And we can turn on Sarah Beeney and thank our lucky stars we got on the property ladder when we did.

(Oh, and BBC3 also remain responsible for one of the most entertaining hours of television ever broadcast. Go and get some popcorn and tuck into Danny Dyer, I Believe In UFOs. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. My favourite bit? The bit where he’s discussing crop circles and descrobes how people “read about them in the newspaper, but then forget all about them to turn the page and look at some tits.” Because that is how all newspapers work.)

5 comments

Couldn’t the BBC still make experimental/youth programmes but show them on BBC 1 and 2, instead of filling the schedule of those stations with Cash in the Attic/Homes under the Hammer/Heir Hunters? Those programmes could happily be aired by ITV, reinforcing its ‘brand position’ with people who like that kind of thing.

Why does the BBC need a separate channel to honour its own Reithian principles? It needs to re-find itself.

That’s what I think, anyway.

(Obviously, if they were talking about canning BBC 4, I’d be chaining myself to railings, etc.)

I think the £30 million that BBC 1 will get won’t make any difference to the quality of the broadcasting having watched in disbelief as they cancel Ripper Street and replace it with Musketeers, as for the BBC1+1… ridiculous idea. BBC 1 is so mediocre these days I go into shock if anything good is on it, plus when there is I normally catch it on iPlayer…. Mind you I watch most of my stuff on iPlayer these days… aside from Cbeebies, I get to see that as broadcast… on endless repeat like a stuck record… I’ve a 2 year old…I’m a stay at home dad, unemployed, ignored politically (over 25), adult.

I’ve never understood why though they had CBBC on when children are meant to be in school. It would make more sense to have programmes on aimed at College/Uni Students, so BBC 3 content would be ideal for daytime viewing (barring watershed moments), broken for a few hours of programmes aimed at school children when they get home. Why BBC 3 didn’t occupy the same channel and take over again at 7 is crazy. Either that or merge Cbeebies (daytime) CBBC after School (4-7) and BBC 3 (from 7), I’m sure that would save a few bob.

As for BBC 3 content, okay I’m 39 now so on the main find nothing is purposely aimed at me these days, but find a variety of stuff fun even now in my “old” age. I do find a lot of the output of BBC3 though is on par with Channel 5 and Channel 4’s worst, which is why I can understand some cry the money could be better spent elsewhere but there have been some great programmes on. The Revolution Will Be Televised being one of them… no I’m not being a suck up, but I don’t think it only got commissioned because of BBC3 and again I watch it on iPlayer. BBC 3 have also cancelled great shows (such as Mongrels) though through short-sightedness IMHO. Maybe the BBC should be looking to the future and create more online content than broadcast so they can compete with the likes of Love Film, Netflix, etc., having content available indefinitely and releasing back catalogues could also be an idea they should consider, especially with the increase in SMART TV’s.

Over all the BBC channels there are many programmes I don’t find appealing but aunty has to cater for the majority of the licence fee payers even though this causes a dumbing down, lack of creativity and mediocrity but just because things aren’t aimed at me or because I don’t watch them though doesn’t mean I don’t think they should be on…. even Miranda. I don’t in essence think they should get rid of BBC 3 much like BBC 4 should stay not that I have time to watch either but if the channels go but the content is saved even just for online viewing there is the hope they will return one day (in a much improved format) once the finances have been sorted out. Now if the BBC had a dedicated comedy channel I’d be happy…unless they put Miranda on it…

Also as for the current mantra spouted about “Original British Dramas” I find it amusing that they have Sherlock (er not original) and Musketeers (neither original, nor British ) included in those…

Those are exceedingly good points about how they could merge BBC3 with another channel to conserve bandwidth, especially when there are already channels that stop broadcasting at 7 in the evening,

I’ve got two main problems: first, it suggests that the opinions of young licence fee payers are not as important as those of old ones; and second it’s going to definitely mean that less comedy is commissioned.

Comedy is always risky, because it’s expensive and its success is dependent on realising a distinct voice, so it’s always going to produce a lot of things that people don’t like. People need to be free to make mistakes in comedy, and I think the scope for that has been drastically reduced.

I think it incredibly short sighted to pigeon hole any of the channels audiences to say that certain channels are for the young/youth or old as peoples tastes can be different irrespective of age.

It wouldn’t be acceptable along the line of race or gender so why politicians and executives are determined to divide people by age is beyond belief.
The bottom line is the BBC should be providing quality content for a cross section of society with the money it gets and part of its current problem is that it still believes it is in a ratings war with the commercial channels.
Maybe instead of commissioning multiple series that turn out to be lame ducks they should invest more in development/pilots/online before bringing content to broadcast, see how many hits and feedback are received, more licence fee payer involvement in the creative/developmental process. As for comedy I’m all for more investment in the creative process, especially in that sector. I’m certainly wanting more of the increased number of comedies that have been available via bbc3, instead of just the best of R4 comedy being transferred to TV accompanied by the mediocre so called comedy of BBC1.