We all want to live our best life. The challenge is figuring out what our best life looks like. What are we really capable of achieving? I am continually reminded that regardless of someone’s title, salary, industry or size of the company, we all face similar issues to living our best life. We just handle them differently. I’ve shared a few insights to help you explore this question…

1. Speed bumps are part of life

We all hit speed bumps. Yes, all of us. Whether you are an experienced CEO, new parent or first-time business owner, there are always speed bumps or challenges. They just look different to each of us. What may be a speed bump today may become routine tomorrow. Hitting a speed bump is really not a noteworthy event. The interesting part is how we maneuver around it.

What I’ve seen as an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach is that the people who achieve and move forward understand that speed bumps are part of the process of going after what you want. One person had to be determined for four years to get a job at the company of his choice (and, yes, he had speed bumps such as a hiring freeze).

Takeaway: Often, the difference is a simple shift in your perspective to reclassify challenges and keep going.

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“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” Thank you, Henry Ford.

Winners have a different mindset that says, “I can” or “I will figure it out and make it happen”. For example, I was incredibly inspired by one story of a property manager who oversaw a building that everyone labeled a disaster. The property manager refused to accept this story of mediocrity and hopelessness. He believed he could turn the building around and built a team to do just that. Before the end of the year, his building was one hundred percent occupied, and he was recognized for outstanding performance at the company’s annual conference. It’s a process, not magic.

Here’s the bottom line: if you’re setting vague goals, you might as well not even set a goal. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s true. Vague goals lead to vague or no results because it’s unclear what you are doing. For example, ‘we need to start a training program’, ‘I will write a book’, or ‘I want to be a better leader’ are common examples of vague goals. When you are ready to be accountable and clear on what you want, you are ready to set a goal. Go ahead and declare to the world what you are going to do. And, by the way, major companies and senior team leaders set vague goals all the time so you are not alone. It’s much easier to leave things vague because it’s harder to evaluate the results.

Lesson: There is nothing vague about living your best life. Clarify what you want and go after it (and, yes, this takes time and asking good questions).

4. Focus on the why

People who achieve their goal are really clear on the ‘why’. There’s a difference between setting a specific goal and setting a goal that is both meaningful and exciting to you. When you have a strong why, it gives you a renewed sense of purpose and the motivation to continue moving forward.

Why do you want to be in shape, start a business, become an author, or start a blog? Is it something you should do or something that is important to you? Ask yourself why two or three times to truly understand why a specific goal matters to you. If a goal does not resonate and connect with your values, it will be difficult to move beyond speed bumps.

Takeaway: When you are clear on your why, you will wake up with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor.

5. It’s a privilege to live outside your comfort zone

100% of the people I’ve talked to who have achieved special moments, experienced uncertainty and lived outside their comfort zone — this includes the single dad bringing up his daughters, the first-time property manager and the woman in her thirties buying real estate properties to generate passive income.

Yes, it’s scary when things are uncertain. It’s uncomfortable for all of us. But it’s part of the process for personal development. It’s a privilege because it means that growth and opportunity are right around the corner.

Takeaway: What if you were 100% certain that moving outside your comfort zone and experiencing uncertainty led to personal growth? I’ve got a secret for you: it does, and it’s a privilege.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

I recently was on the East Coast presenting to over 400 people at three companies in industries ranging from real estate to a Fortune 500 healthcare company to an investment management firm about the idea of “Living in YOUR Top 1%.” I am continually reminded that regardless of someone’s title, salary, industry, or size of the company, we all face similar issues to living our best life. We just handle them differently.

The Top Five Takeaways to Live in YOUR Top 1%:1. Speed Bumps Are Part of Life

We all hit speed bumps. Yes, all of us. Whether you are an experienced CEO, new mom, or first-time business owner, there are speed bumps or challenges. They just look differently to each of us. And, what may be a speed bump today may become routine tomorrow. Hitting a speed bump is really not a noteworthy event. The interesting part is how we maneuver around it. What I’ve seen as an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach is that the people who achieve and move forward understand that speed bumps are part of the process of going after what you want. One person had to be determined for four years to get a job at the company of his choice (and, yes, he had speed bumps such as a hiring freeze).

Often, the difference is a simple shift in your perspective to reclassify challenges and keep going.

2. Mindset Wins Every Time

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” Thank you Henry Ford.

Winners have a different mindset that says, “I can” or “I will figure it out and make it happen.” For example, I was incredibly inspired by one story of a property manager who oversaw a building that everyone labeled a disaster. The property manager refused to accept this story of mediocrity and hopelessness. He believed he could turn the building around and built a team to do just that. Before the end of the year, his building was one hundred percent occupied, and he was recognized for outstanding performance at the company’s annual conference. It’s a process, not magic.

Your mindset makes a big difference and directly impacts what opportunities you pursue.

3. Lean Away From Vague Goals

Here’s the bottom line: if you’re setting vague goals, you might as well not even set a goal. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s true. Vague goals lead to vague or no results because it’s unclear what you are doing. For example, we need to start a training program, I will write a book, or I want to be a better leader are common examples of vague goals. When you are ready to be accountable and clear on what you want, you are ready to set a goal. Go ahead and declare to the world what you are going to do. And, by the way, major companies and senior team leaders set vague goals all the time so you are not alone. It’s much easier to leave things vague because it’s harder to evaluate the results.

One note, there is nothing vague about living your best life. Clarify what you want and go after it (and, yes, this takes time and asking good questions).

4. Focus On The Why

People who achieve their goal are really clear on the “WHY.” There’s a difference between setting a specific goal and setting a goal that is both meaningful and exciting to you.

When you have a strong why, it gives you a renewed sense of purpose and the motivation to continue moving forward.

Why do you want to be in shape, start a business, become an author, or start a blog? Is it something you should do or something that is important to you? Ask yourself why two or three times to truly understand why a specific goal matters to you. If a goal does not resonate and connect with your values, it will be difficult to move beyond speed bumps. When you are clear on your why, you will wake up with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor.

5. It’s a Privilege to Live Outside Your Comfort Zone

100% of the people I’ve talked to who have achieved special moments (a.k.a. Top 1% Moments) experienced uncertainty and were outside their comfort zone—from the single dad bringing up his daughters to the first-time manager to the woman in her thirties buying real estate properties to generate passive income.

Yes, it’s scary when things are uncertain. It’s uncomfortable for all of us. But it’s part of the process for personal development.

It’s a privilege because it means that growth and opportunity are right around the corner. What if you were 100% certain that moving outside your comfort zone and experiencing uncertainty led to personal growth? I’ve got a secret for you: it does, and it’s a privilege.

Top 1% Bottom Line: Living your best life is a process. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself on a bumpy road. That simply tells you it’s the right path and keep going. A resilient mindset will help you move through difficult days, as will clear-cut goals. Opportunity awaits all of us.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Living in Your Top 1% is about potential and possibility. It’s about taking the words can’t, should and impossible out of your vocabulary and shifting your mindset to say “I can.” Yes, sounds easy enough.

I live in Santa Monica, CA and was in NYC giving a seminar to an investment management company on Living in Your Top 1%. After the program, I spent a few days in NYC with my family and friends. One night after dinner I met some friends and the conversation steered toward our goals, dreams, and challenges in the new year. A fascinating discussion emerged. There were five of us sitting at the table, four women and one man all in our 40′s. One of the women was a talented artist who described herself as self-taught. I share this because she was allowing the seemingly innocuous term “self-taught” to define her story and limit her ability as an artist to create and do what she loves. I asked what if Madonna bought a piece of her work? Would she still be insecure that she was self-taught? Would that validate her work? She smiled and understood the wake-up call.
Words are powerful. A client of mine likes to use the word disaster when describing parts of her life. Well, a disaster is some event that causes great damage – not something that any of us truly want to experience. The word disaster does not shine positive energy (do you agree?). The question we need to ask is how does the word disaster, or any other word that drains our energy, move you forward on your path?

Bottom Line: Use words that empower you.

When you go on a road trip, you either use your GPS or look up directions on Google or Yahoo. Typically, you search for the most direct route with the least amount of traffic. Well, shouldn’t you use the same approach with your own life? When you use words like disaster and self-taught you are simply adding in traffic and detours to your path. It’s a common pitfall so don’t feel bad. The good news is you can alter how you connect the dots with three easy steps:

1. Bring greater awareness to the words you use on a daily basis.

2. Keep a two-day journal and write down a few key phrases that you use frequently. Do they help you move forward?

3. Make a conscious decision and write down the words you like and want to use such as inspiration, motivation, gratitude, kindness, laughter etc.

Listen to the words you use to see if they propel you forward or hold you back. Often we are not even aware of our core word choices. We are all closer than we think to achieving top 1% moments but we need a little help up the hill. Use words and surround yourself with supportive people who help you be a shining star.

What dreams and goals would you love to achieve this year? Would you love to start your own profitable business, run your first 5k, or actually have time to focus on yourself? This is the time to take a step forward.

As you move forward this month, consider three questions:

1. What do you love to do?
2. What would you love to do more of?
3. What would you love to stop doing?

Please share your thoughts and dreams and empower people to take a small step forward and live in their top 1%.

Believe in yourself,
Alissa

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb, the Milken Institute, LA Business Journal, Prostate Cancer Foundation, and NBC Universal. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

I receive emails and Facebook messages weekly from people looking to improve their life asking for a few tips on how to complete their lofty ambitions. The goal is usually a big one and the question implies that if the person can just take a few steps over a short term the goal will happen. Can I help?

I do offer insights and resources but here’s my issue with this thinking? Success is a process and while a few steps in the short term add value, the real progress happens when you combine a series of small steps, often many steps outside your comfort zone, with an extended period of time. Yes, then you may experience success and gain some level of mastery.

All the masters know that success and achieving meaningful results is a process and takes time. Mastery requires consistency and practice. It is not overnight! We need to condition our mind to understand this about the process. The question is how much time are you willing to invest and do you have the determination, drive, focus and staying power to stay the course? Anyone can get up at 5am to workout for a week, not eat sugar for two weeks or visit clients for a month. But can you commit to talking to clients throughout the year to have the best customer service in the industry? That takes time and is not a one-month project.

The media and society create the illusion that success or achieving what you want is a quick process with no obstacles. We see newly crowned entrepreneurs, musicians, sports figures, CEOs and tech whizzes pictured on the cover of Forbes, People, TIME, Sports Illustrated and Fortune Magazine but rarely is it emphasized that they worked on their project for years and countless hours. We see a business getting sold for a ridiculous amount of money (see Instagram and Tumblr). More often than not, achieving a valued outcome is because of continuous effort, hard work, overcoming past failures and the ability to think without obstacles and be resilient. And by the way, David Karp, the founder of Tumblr, began learning HTML at age 11 and was designing websites for local businesses for years on his way to mastery.

If you want success, you need to first define what success means to you. This will vary for each of us depending on our values, age and area of life.

Success can’t be done for you.

Achieving your dreams doesn’t happen after a few quick steps.

There’s no 7-day formula either (sorry to break the news).

– If you want to be a better interviewer, then practice answering questions 100 times.

– If you want to be a better public speaker, practice a 2-minute speech in front of the mirror 100 times.

– If you want to improve your serve in tennis, serve a bucket of balls 3x a week for twenty minutes for the year.

I guarantee you will improve!

Overnight success is about effort and how much you are willing to invest. There is no quick way to become a master. The good news is it CAN be done.

Here are a few highlights for what the real process of overnight success looks like:

– You have an idea (maybe you want to start a business, run for congress, improve your speaking skills, complete a marathon or improve your golf game)

– It’s hard for others to see your vision and they think it sounds crazy.

– You start working on your idea but the results are not coming as quickly as you had expected.

– You have self-doubt and contemplate quitting your project or taking up a different hobby because the process is harder than you thought.

– You have a small win, see a glimmer of hope and start to think it’s possible (maybe I can improve my golf game or start this new website).

– You encounter a few obstacles and experience failure. Each time your passion and determination help you move forward and resolve any challenges.

– You invest a substantial amount of time and effort to get your idea/product/skill/website launched and ready for the world.

– People gradually start to see the possibilities you saw from Day 1.

– Repeat over and over.

The conversation around success needs to shift. It needs to shift away from the short-term, profits, titles and first place finishes to significance, pursuing heartfelt goals, effort and living in YOUR top 1% (as opposed to the THE top 1%). When we only see pictures of celebrated entrepreneurs featuring their business idea and sports stars holding a trophy, it’s easy to forget how hard the person worked over the years to make this top 1% moment a reality.

Yes overnight success is possible. We need to condition our mind and teach our kids that the path for success looks much different than the media often leads us to believe. It involves effort and lots of hard work!

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in Your Top 1%. She coaches entrepreneurs, executives, aspiring leaders, athletes, career changers, and moms getting back in the workforce. Alissa works one-on-one with clients and gives corporate workshops and classes via the phone throughout the year. To learn more and connect with Alissa, please visit her website and Facebook page.