Bereavement Support Group

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how do you tell 2yr old that he\'s not coming back

i dont know how to tell my 2yr old that her daddy isnt coming back. she cries for him everyday and everynight. even in her sleep. i get so angry with her when i tell her something and then she cries for him. its like how can i be mad at her when she cries for him. sometimes i scream at her because that means that he is really gone. i usually send her with her grandmother thursday thru sunday just so i can go out and drink my problems away but they seem to come back when i wake up and im sober but i dont know how to deal with this.... i have had many people tell me that i need to try cymbalta but i dont have insurance so i cant go to the doctor. i dont know what to do with myself these days. he was my support for everything and now he\'s gone. i dont even want to go get a job because i am scared that if i leave something will happen and i wont be there for her. my mom hates who i have become but i dont know how to change. im sick of crying and hearing people tell me that they are sorry. it doesnt change anything so why do people say it. i know i need help but i dont know where to get it...... if you can help please let me know......

I don\'t know if you are a person of faith or not....but a good place to look for help is at churches. Many of them have free grief counseling and even bereavement groups. I think that would be a good place to begin.

About your precious daughter. Remember, she is dealing in the only way she can. She cries for him for the same reason you cry for him. She loved him. He was her support. Her daddy.....try to reach out to her. Focus on her. Help her. She needs you. Focusing on my kids who are both little.... was the only thing that kept me from being on the edge when my dad died. They loved him, they asked (and still do) where is Papaw. Why did papaw die. Sometimes I don\'t want to answer. It\'s easier to be angry at them then deal with the reality of the lose. But, you have to love your child. Hold her. Think about that he is half of who she is. When you love her, you are are loving him at the sametime. She is so little, she needs you. Sometimes we don\'t want the responsibility of our children, but in they end they are our responsibility. She can\'t take care of herself. She can\'t even understand all of this at all. Try, for her sake and your own, to reach out to her and count to 10 when you feel like yelling at her.

I really care about you and your daughter. Please let me know how you are doing.

The funeral parlor that handeled the arrangements for my mom put me in touch with several support groups. While this website is great, it might benefit you to actually interact with people face to face who are going through the same thing you are. It will be hard at first to pick yourself up and go to a meeting but I think it maybe worth it.

While it is true that everyone grieves differently, however during this process it is important that you take care of yourself and your well being.

Wow. The best way to tell your 2 year old he\'s not coming back. Get down to her level. And in some ways you are already doing that. Your anger is raging out of control. And I don\'t mean that in a deragatory way. It is just an observation of a fact. A place to get a hold of and see what is really happening here. If you can talk to your mom, or maybe you already know - is there something that happened to you when you were 2? When our reactions to life experiences are off the charts like yours, it can be because it is also bringing up old issues at the same time. If you cannot talk to your mom, you NEED to find someone you can talk to so you can be a support for your daughter. I say these things, because I was suddenly a single mother of 4 young children, and I did not deal with it very well. They were the only ones I had to turn to, and it was not their fault. Realize it is not your daughter\'s fault, even though she is still needs you to take care of her, and he is not here to take care of you. Whatever you can do to get control is worth the effort, because trust me, it will only get worse if you don\'t and your daughter will have to pay the price. Once you get on your daughter\'s level, think positive. Even though this is one \&quot;worst case scenerio\&quot; for you, there are a million other things that could be happening that aren\'t. You still have your daughter. Don\'t destroy that. Show her how to overcome grief in a healthy way. See if you can find something positive to say to her, starting with acknowledging her (and your) feelings. I know you miss your daddy so much, honey, (maybe this is as far as you get the first try, and you just need to hold her and cry) Maybe more words are not necessary, but doing something positive would help you both. Ask her what she would like to do to help her feel better. Maybe she could draw a picture and put it in a helium balloon and send it to him. And you could include a letter. That is an excellent way of letting go. Letting go is good. It is not letting go of your love for him, just the pain. Also try looking in the library for books on grieving children. Or online. I just posted a topic \&quot;About the grieving process\&quot; see if anything in there helps. Don\'t give up!!!! You can and will feel better, but you have to face it, not run from it.

I believe that. Caffeine gets the heart racing and the adrenalin pumping so you are always in fright or flight mode. I drink a lot of tea. I've tried cutting it down. It helps if you eat fresh fruits - easier to eat them in the summer cause the warm weather helps or they just taste better. Or drinking juice, milk, water helps too. Then tea does not taste so good anymore and I can feel the difference - when it starts to cause my body temperature to go up. I don't feel so good then. I know diet is so important now. I'll try to eat different foods to see how it changes my feelings.

You are absolutely right :)
Like I stated yesterday (and this was SO me).. I drank caffeine every morning, skipped meals, didn't exercise,worried all the time,drank beer on the weekends, ate whenever and whatever I felt like eating, slept like crap every night,watched the news all day long, watched negative shows (48 Hours, etc) and gee no wonder I ended up with anxiety ?
I had all that negative adrenaline built up, but yet there was no releasing it. Not that I layed around all day or anything. I did yard work, etc... but it wasn't actual exercise. I wasn't eating right. Basically, I felt like crap, so I treated myself like crap. Needed the caffine to get that jolt going, etc...
Nice little recipe for anxiety !!

One thing that helped me immensely was to listen to the tapes from the Midwest Center. My mom purchased them for me years ago and they were around $300, I believe. In these tapes, I remember something about them suggesting to not consume caffeine (as well as some other things which I don't recall now).

My family violated me in several ways four brothers sister mom and dad. I was sexual assault at least twice a month for years.......I just wanted to share my story.....I was the bud of folks jokes at home I gain weight at 11 yrs old, my period stop which caused invasive procedure by the gyn, I still beleive my mom hide something that further made me a victim. I was assualted in separate...

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