Believe it or not it all started on a Halloween night when my two step-sisters insisted that I go out with them dressed as a girl. We did the normal door-to-door thing and immediately afterwards we had a baby sitting job across the street. I didn't have time to go home and change (to my delight) and wore the dress the rest of the evening. I really enjoyed wearing the pretty girl's dress. Ever since then I secretly dress every chance I get which unfortunately is not often enough. As many have I went through a period during high school of sneaking in to my mother's room and trying on her things when she was out. She traveled a lot and I was left home alone for days at a time. Fortunately for me her clothes were almost a perfect fit and she had some really pretty dresses and under garments. I think she suspected I was getting into her things and came very close to catching me wearing one of her full petticoats when she came home early one day. Dressing during college and military service was almost impossible. I say almost because I did have some chances to indulge in my secret "hobby" while still enjoying male activities like golf, baseball, ladies and eventually wife and family, etc.

After getting out of the service I became an independent sales rep with a requirement to travel and always looked forward to nights on the road as my alter ego, Barbara. I suppose it was a way to relieve stress and do something I really love doing. Like most cross-dressers, I do at times feel very guilty of my secret desire to occasionally transform into Barbara. I've tried a number of times to quit but the passion I have to wear pretty ladies things is too strong. However, I have no real desire to become a woman and enjoy my male life and family. I am happily married to a wonderful lady and that will not change.

Unfortunately she is not supportive. I was careless several years back and left some ladies items in the bottom drawer of my dresser underneath some sweaters. They were discovered by my daughter who had gone into the drawer looking for a lost sweatshirt of hers. When I came home it was like the end of the world. I had a hard time explaining and eventually confessed to being a crossdresser. Needless to say we went through a very trying time and after some serious counseling we were able to salvage the marriage. Believe it or not the psychiatrist saw nothing really wrong with my desire to dress in women's clothes. It was the secrecy and lying that he thought was bad. It was as if I was being unfaithful and cheating on her with a lady named Barbara. I made a promise to my wife that I would never dress again and my stash went to the garbage or to Goodwill. A promise that I found impossible to keep. To this day she thinks I have been true to my word and the subject has never been mentioned again.

Of course I became very cautious and have been able resume my feminine activities. I unfortunately had to virtually start over again and purchase new clothes and accessories. My desire to dress as a lady has evolved even more from simply wearing dresses to complete transformation to include wigs, make-up, jewelry, under garments, and perfume. I also went to great lengths and risk to shave my underarms and remove the hair on my legs from waist to toes. I found Veet to be a great product for that. I absolutely love dressing in wedding gowns, prom and quince dresses, and cocktail dresses. The dressier the better.Like a lot of gurls, I spend many nights in hotels and motels living and enjoying my time en-femme. As a male I've been to department stores, prom and bridal botiques, outlets, wig and consignment shops to buy dresses, wigs and lingerie. I have fun doing it usually under the guise of dressing as a female for charity purposes or to buy gifts. On most occasions the store clerks are more than happy to assist even helping me try on dresses, blouses and skirts. Buying jewelry is easy, and getting makeup isn't difficult at drug and grocery stores. I found early on that almost anything a gurl needs can be purchased online especially things like corsets, wigs and breast forms.

On the subject of coming out of the closet, that will never happen. At the most, I've ventured out a few times while dressed and while I find it somewhat exciting, I have a deep seated fear of being discovered. I admire those who have the desire and willingness to become ladies full time and express their feminine feelings. That's just not for me and discreet cross-dressing is the avenue I have chosen to dress and be as pretty a lady as I can. I have fantasies like a lot of gurls do and being forced into womanhood and some bondage are a few. Most of all dressing in feminine clothes and gowns remains a thrill for me.Flickr is the best and only outlet I use to express my feelings and display my feminine side..........thanks to those of you who have posted nice comments and faved some of my pictures. There are many of you far prettier and much more convincing than me...to you, pursue your desires and best wishes and luck to all of you.