Saturday, February 22, 2014

While I won't say my move to Sibu is full of flowers and happiness (well, I did wrote a long ass rant about it, and it actually doesn't stop there), I am truly thankful for the little blessings bestowed to me. First of all, my Baba's car finally arrived here with my stuff. With that, I feel somehow supremely happy, to see my stuff and to see what food my Mama packed for me.

Mama gave me her specialty snack that she made herself, a huge container of 'kuih gunting' or 'kuih siput'. And she also gave me rice (yes, I know, Sarawak has rice too, after all, but with that rice, I feel closer to home somehow since it's a familiar brand from home), a tin of cream cracker (I LOVE CREAM CRACKER, OKAY) and a few bags of snacks. I feel truly thankful to Mama and Baba for the food and the car. I will always remember this.

Next is the fact that my classmate, Ida, bought Vivian and I KFC. We went out with Mastura yesterday night, just cruising and driving around Farley area, just to check out the area and the supermarkets. Then, Mastura bought KFC for Ida for her dinner and gave a portion to us, per instructed by Ida. That is really nice. Random kindness is really super nice. Thank you Ida! May Allah SWT bless you ^^

Monday, February 17, 2014

I am one of those who enjoy flying. I find the whole process of packing, checking-in, waiting to go on board, flight food, heck, even flight commode as quite exciting. There are a few things that always stresses me out (weighing my checked-in luggage and hand luggage, for instance), but overall, I usually enjoy the experience.

That said, I have this weird obsession of being weirded out or somehow ashamed of this ritual. I don't even know how to explain why or what exactly my feeling is, but I can only say this, meal time on board is just weird. For me. I always have this strange conversation in my head about how strange it is for the air-steward and stewardess to hand out food on flights.

Somehow, I just cannot face them while they are doing so. I just can't. I've faked sleep before. I've pretended that I can't hear them before. I've looked at the cart instead of their faces. I've pretended to be somehow busy before. Basically, I do all I can to avoid looking at them while they are serving. I have no idea why I am like this, to be perfectly honest.

Basically, I just find handing-out-meals time excruciating. Without a cause nor reason.

Friday, February 7, 2014

It is so therapeutic to talk to my Mama. I feel so bad today, like lowest of low, and after ranting like a madwoman here, talking to Mastura and now my Mama, I feel that everything will be okay. I know God is testing me, so I shall take it as fate and face it head-on. Things will always be better. I have to believe that.

I am also missing home badly. It's really different, the feeling of living far away in Auckland, for the fact that I am still here in Malaysia, just on the other side of the sea, and not as accessible to home as I was in Teluk Intan before. While flights are quite frequent (AirAsia has the most flights in a week and daily too), it is not as cheap as taking a bus home every weekend.

Anyway, Mama cheered me up. She doesn't really say motivational words like, 'Do your best', but she did talk about random stuff like my house condition, Sibu in general, Sarawak famous layered cake, my flight and survival of my frozen food in the luggage and so on. I feel so close somehow, like I am talking right next to her, instead of via the phone line.

I know I don't appreciate my Mama, Baba and siblings often. I don't know how to demonstrate affection, we are not an openly affectionate family and I am easily frustrated, rash and short-tempered, but I do love my family the best. And I know they will love me no matter what. So, yeah, I will always remember that my family loves you as much as I love them. I am truly sorry for all of my imbecilic infantile outbursts.

I think I am going to blog A LOT in Sibu. My weekends are literally MINE. Thus, yeah, lots of blogging aka ranting time! Remind me to find a part time job eh? I need it desperately now to survive Sibu. I need to pay my dad for the shipping of his car too.

I understand that moving us to Sibu is essentially beneficial for us in terms of learning. However, do you realize that not all of us are super rich or can throw RM1000 around in month so easily for all the expenses including rent? Do you realize that some of us have to think about budget and expenses? Do you realize flight to Sibu is damned expensive and transport here is as dismal and expensive? Do you realize you are making me very stressed over the move?

Thank you for reading this, if ever you read this insignificant blog.

On that note, I would like to thank Uncle Hua the van driver for being a friendly face from Sibu who is always ready to help and cheerfully talk to me every day. I feel like that's one of the best times of the day for me so far. Please thank Uncle Hua the van driver for me, okay, SEGI?

And, the saving grace of the campus: THE NICE HUGE LOCKERS! YAY! I finally find something positive to say!

At first, I thought of moving as an adventure. After all, I've moved countless of times before. From living in a boarding school during high school, to college, to moving to Auckland and back. Not to mention, the numerous times I've moved around in Auckland as my lease expires. I rarely feel stressed over moving other than feeling tired, but over all, I like the experience. It's not all flowers and sunshine, there were times I was stressed over, some issues here and there.

However, moving to Sibu turns out to be a disaster in an epic proportion (for me). First, my 'housemate' that is supposed to share the house with the 4 of us, changed her mind on the day that we are supposed to move. I mean, if she changes her mind way earlier, I'd understand, so it's easier for the rest of us to find another house just for the 4 of us. No. She has to 'shop' first aka go and see and compare to the hostel and decide, 'Oh well, screw them, screw Harley, let me just do what's right for me, and let them just die'. Yes, the expense and effort to find another housemate is so startling, I am beginning to feel like crying.

Let me explain to you one thing about Sibu and Malaysia and housemates in general. Good ones that are compatible with you, pay on time and respect the rules and regulations are rare to find. I find it in Evie and Fazan in Auckland, in that sense God gives me a lot already. Then, I got Vivian as a room mate, who turns out to be really nice and least fussiest person on earth. We got along well, at least on my part, so I am thankful.

Now, about housemates in Sibu. To find one is not easy. Malaysia doesn't have a centralized trusted websites like TradeMe to find prospective housemates. No. We have tonnes of almost useless websites (and mostly probably cannot be trusted) that I have to find one by one and list the room for rent, and guess what, still no reply until now. I had to stay upbeat and tell myself, 'I will find one eventually, ASAP'.

Oh did I forget to mention, the 'housemate' didn't look for replacement and told me to find one, because 'she's not familiar with Sibu and she's a foreigner'. Well, my little lady, screw you. I have NEVER been to Sibu nor do I know it familiar or non-familiarly, and so does the other 3 girls. A foreigner card excuse is stupid, since I've lived 5 years in New Zealand, never asking for other people's help in finding a house or a housemate before. I do it myself. ME. Yes, I am not so useless after all. You, on the other hand, want to walk away free and easy and be irresponsible. You even asked for your deposit back, quoting, 'I haven't signed anything yet'. Of course, since it is ME who signed it. I am the one screwed after all. You even dare to tell others, making them sympathize with you and make me look like the evil bitch, guess another one, think again.

Anyway, next, shipping car. My dad's boss' company screw him over. The company quoted to ship a car to Sibu will cost us RM2750, while 2 of my classmates paid RM1700 and RM2000 to ship theirs. And yes, the company sent their cars to their doorstep. The difference is HUGE. That's like, almost RM1000 of difference. And the stupid boss/company even dare to say, 'I am giving you a discount'. What bullshit discount? Are you sending my car in a gold container or something? Or are you sending it by air and the car will arrive in 1 day? No, it will arrive exactly at the same time as my friend who's paying RM2000 for her car to be shipped. So yeah, I can't help but stressed over how badly my dad is treated by his own fucking boss.

Third, along the way, from the airport until I arrived in Sibu, there are so many unexpected expenses that I am ill-equipped to respond to. First, the excess weight for my luggage. I know, I am supposed to know about it since I've travelled so many times before. But usually the MAS or Brunei staff is really really really really nice and they will just waive off 1-2kg. AirAsia sucks ass. Even 1kg is charged, thus I lost RM35 just like that before even arriving in Sibu.

Then, the van from my place to the campus. While it's not far, not even 5 minutes drive away, each trip is RM2 and I have to use this van for at least 10 days, so, at least RM40 is lost already. Not only that, my house has no fans, so either I have to buy a stand fan (which I am initially prepared to do until I am bleeding money) or use the air-conditioning unit, which I had to resort to, since the ceiling fan in the main hall broke down so soon (of unknown reason). I plan to sleep in the hall with that fan until I can get a stand fan and now that I am literally broke, and the house is unbearably hot after the cleaning up I did, I had to use the air-conditioning unit. I am scared to think about the electricity bill later. I even stayed over in campus and go back late just so that I don't have to switch on the air-conditioning unit.

Did I tell you that there is no bank anywhere near Sibu Hospital? The banks are 20 minutes drive away in the city. And as for ATMs, there are no Maybank or CIMB ATMs anywhere at least 5km radius to my place or the hospital. And ditto for petrol station. Nearest one is not so near. Oh and the road condition here is atrocious. Like, holes and bumps everywhere. Some roads are not even PAVED! Stones EVERYWHERE! I swear I will drive 40-50km per hour in this condition.

Did I also mention I spent TONNES of money to go to my good friend's wedding? Well, tbh, I am not stressing over that, since:

I love her. She's my best friend and the nicest person I can think of. Her wedding is something I will never, ever, not attend unless I'm that desperately broke, which I am but I already did buy the flight tickets, so yeah, that's okay.

I am finally leaving this hell-hole called Sibu, even for 2 nights. I need to re-charge, see familiar faces and places.

Sibu is not exactly a hell-hole. But the circumstances I landed in from the journey from home to here are just too horrible for me to even see the nice side of Sibu. I hope I can get over this soon. I need to move on. If I think back, there were lots of times I get stressed over things when I moved, but in time, I can chuck them all as an experience. I hope that time will come soon. That I can chuck this all of as an experience and look back fondly, well, not THAT fondly, and think, 'Ah! I went through that too'.

P/S: Do you guys know any female who wants a room and planning to rent for 2 years? It's really really near to Sibu General Hospital! And it's fully furnished!

Monday, February 3, 2014

I am missing my grandma already. I just stayed over for one night. She cooked me delicious rice noodle and fried rice when I should be the one cooking for her. I forgot to vacuum her carpet (I hope I can do it tomorrow) but I did get to accompany her for a day. Going to Sibu is harder than what I initially thought. I guess I always regarded going to Auckland as an adventure while going to Sibu is more of a necessity.