Maria (disabled caregiver)

by Maria
(Stratford,CT)

Don't know where to begin. I resent my father for not drawing up a Will. I am 54, disabled, and was an RN for 6 years prior to a MVA that has left me totally disabled. Two years ago, my father asked me to move in after I was evicted from my apartment in Trumbull,CT. Awaiting disability takes years, I had few choices to where I could live, so I agreed. I am the youngest daughter of 3. I was married, for 26 years to a man I thought I would never leave. Until one day, my oldest sister called my son to say she was raped by my then husband,Mike.

The rape turned out to be a lie, as was later discovered. The truth surfaced that it happened once while I was 9 months pregnant and it was consensual. My family knew about this dirty little secret but chose to hide this to "protect" my best interest.

I suffered a great deal with Mike's infidelities, drugs, drinking, and physical abuse. I was kept in the dark.

My father knew. Today, as I continue to live here in his home, caring for him, cooking, cleaning, dog care, errands to the store, and so forth, pays me 200 per week, not a penny more. It's not even minimum wage!

I feel undervalued and led on to believe that the house I live in will be mine someday... He has failed to write a Living Will stating "Your sister knows what u

want and she will do as I asked"....I'm dying here LISTENING him talk about giving me the house without having written documents to direct his wishes.

I've been burned by Barbara...after my divorce, she suggested she keep 20k in a bank account for me to protect against corrupt attorney...No, she kept it! And I'm suppose to trust her with my dad's house that's not going to be mine I'm certain.

I care for my dad the best I know how but it's not been easy. In 2014 and 2015 I tried to end my life. My mom passed away. I cared for her with Alzheimer's. For 3 months everyday I drove from Trumbull to Stratford to care for her. I would stay from 9-3 and would return at night to get her ready for bed. My father was here when I wasn't.

After 3 months, he hired a caregiver from Cuba to care for her. I was asked to leave having done nothing to deserve this. The stranger, who arrived was a young woman with no medical knowledge of how to care for a senior with Alzheimer's. It broke my heart to see my mom be with this inept woman.

It crushed me when my father asked me to stay away while Alexandrina watched over her. Mom passed away 4 weeks after her arrival. I did not bounce back...I fell into a deep dark depression and subsequent suicide idealization.

I have remorse, distrust, over burdened, under paid....but very appreciated.