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Author
Topic: Am I infected? (Read 6460 times)

On October 4th, I had an encounter and after about 45 minutes of vaginal intercourse, we switched positions. For a brief period of time (I would say 5 minutes) My condom came off insode of her (I periodically pull out to check.) I managed to retrieve the condom and we both discussed our negative status however I am worried sick that I will catch HIV because we really cant trust anyone's word. I was recently tested (Oral) on October 30th and the test was negative. The lady I was with is supposedly in the health care industry and she said she tested to ease my mind. She did not show me the results and will no longer speak to me for "family reasons". After finally getting through to her, she did reiterate her status. Again though, I just don't trust anyone anymore in this area.

To make a long story short, I am very scared. I recently started to develop a sore throat, swollen glands and I hope this is just a normal virus. How worried should I be?

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. You used a condom and it sounds like you were covered for the majority of time, and this makes it even more unlikely that you would become infected through this encounter.

As you are unsure if you were ever unprotected during this, you would be wise to test - especially if you've never tested before. Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Try to remember that we are now in cold and flu season. Keep your hands off your glands as well, because checking them all the time can make them swell and keep them swollen. You need to know that symptoms or even the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. ONLY testing will reliably reveal your hiv status.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Re-reading your first post, I see you have also tested - at first reading I thought you meant only the woman said she tested. (sorry)

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test postive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. You tested at nearly four weeks and all things considered about your possible risk, I wouldn't expect your test result to change at the conclusive three month point. Keep in mind that you don't even know for sure if you were unprotected. Remember too that I told you that you mainly need to test if you've never tested - you have tested and it was negative.

The power to worry or not worry is in your own hands. Staying productively busy helps as does remembering that the odds are significantly in your favour of being negative, no matter how you slice it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you for your kind words. This marks the 5 week point since the incident and I am going to go get tested again. I am starting to develop a cold and scratchy throat which is why I am so worried however I will take another test on Monday which will be nearly 6 weeks. If nothing else, this was a reality check on life. My Ex wants to get back together however how do I tell her of my ordeal?

Hello to all in this community. I have been monitoring this community for some time now and appreciate all all of the information and advise provided here.

On Dec 24th I had unprotected Sex with My girlfriend of there months for the first time. She has told me that she had a HIV test however recently she has become very sick and lost nearly 20 lbs in about two months. About 2-3 weeks after Sex, I developed a horrible cold. White tongue, glands swollen in the groin, armpit and neck, slight fever, hard to swallow and a very irritated throat. Me being OCD I am thinking I am going crazy. At 28 days, I took a HIV test, this is about five days after getting sick. The test has since come back negative however the glands in my groin remain swollen and ache however my throat seems to be better after starting antibiotics. The antibiotics caused the diarrhea so as you can imagine I am panicking.

Since the symptoms developed at about 21 days and I took a test at 28 days, if I am positive would the antibodies be traceable by this time? I plan on taking another test in two weeks because numerous people state that by 6 weeks the test is nearly conclusive. How much weight can I put in the negative test results after only 28 days?

You should infer nothing from your girlfriend telling you she was HIV negative, unless you went with her and saw the results yourself and you did the same for her its all just heresay. Also, infer nothing regarding her becoming sick, lots of people do for lots of reasons. It sounds more like the flu, or mono or a cold. Which is WAY easy to transmit, unlike HIV. I do suspect you will test negative.

A test at 6 weeks is a great indicator of your status and the next best thing to an all clear. You should test at 13 weeks for a reliably conclusive result.

You testing negative at 28 days is a good thing but do retest at 6 weeks.

Good vibes headed your way.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Thank you for your prompt reply. I know I will feel much better after 6 weeks because the majority of the people have antibodies after 6 weeks. Being OCD, I am VERY good at my job, its easy for me to focus and be the best of the best. On the other hand, its so easy for my mind to get caught up in the symptoms and its so hard to refocus on something other then constantly prodding your glands. Its an OCD thing which no amount of meds can help with.

I was going to go spend 400.00 on the Early scan (Forgot the name) however after 28 days, from what I understand it may be harder to detect. All of my testing is using the "home access" at home testing however I have no idea what generation test that is. To be safe, I am getting an blood test at Patient First however I still do not know what gen test that is -- I am getting the results on Friday. I will get another test at 6 weeks using Home access. In the mean time, Patienent first is going to test for other STD's since the glands in my groin are swollen. I can hand the the glands in my neck but I have never had swollen glands in my groin before that I can recall.

The fear of HIV I think is far greater then the virus itself. Once someone is infected its hard to find a partner which is my greatest fear -- The fear of being alone. Furthermore when someone has cancer, the social response is an outpouring of help however if someone finds out you are HIV Positive, the reaction is quite the opposite. These social conceptions weigh just as heavy on the mind of someone in my situation as the virus itself.

I thank you and everyone else for their posts and would enjoy developing a better understand by communicating to those on this forum. Whether the topic is HIV related -- Or not. I thank everyone for their time.

I got married after I found out I was positive. She was the first person I told.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

One question that bothers me. Once all of my "Symptoms" symptoms subside, should I have enough antibodies in my bloodstream? Are antibodies created before, during or after seroconversion? I'm sitting here thinking once I beat this cold or whatever it is and I take a test, would that be a definitive sign that this was/was not seroconversion?

None of your symptoms mean anything in terms of knowing accurately about your HIV status. Only HIV tests done at the proper time can give you that answer, which I think you understand at this point.

However, I want to add that until both you and your gf have reliably tested negative together you should always be using a condom for intercourse. And even then, unless you both are committed to a securely monogamous relationship you should continue to use condoms everytime you have intercourse.

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

This marks week six and I get my results tomorrow. Being OCD I think that sometimes we all convince that we have the symptoms and those of us who have existing mental health conditions seem to be more at risk for hyper-tention based on the presence of symptoms. I am in that area where I am always looking for any changes.

My glands are still swollen but that is most likely from Post nasal drip however after being mugged and shot at six months ago I feel very out of control in terms of whether I will live or not based on this exposure. I confronted my then girlfriend and she reassured me that she was "HIV - " and looked at me in the eyes telling me "Its OK, there is nothing to worry about, I was tested three months ago". After being on Augmentin and getting diarrhea for two days, the diarrhea stopped when I stopped the antibiotics, but my mind still continues to churn.

My Girlfriend has since stopped talking to me because I have overreacted so much and feels I dont trust her. I were dating for three months (monogamous) and I started to trust her but after having unprotected sex, I really freaked out. (The Condom just would NOT go on). She kept on telling me its OK. I still don't trust her.. Or myself.

If I am tested negative at six weeks (I will know tomorrow), I know that I can feel somewhat better. Physically I may be OK if I get negative results, however how do you rebound emotionally? How do you regain trust in people to take their word without requiring that we see proof? What if the other person is offended because you dont believe them?

Can I ask why you are using different usernames while posting to our forums? Thus far, you have also used gtpman123

I didn't catch you when you first created this new account because I was away from the forums during that time. Considering you keep going on about your OCD, I find it hard to believe you forgot about your original account or password or whatever.

Please realize that this kind of activity is disrespectful of other forum members, as well as our moderators. People spend a considerable amount of time helping others in these forums. Using multiple accounts is at the very least annoying, if not deceiving and disrespectful of others. It is also against our Terms of Membership which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.

I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you for allowing me to continue here. A few weeks ago I suffered from a minor nervous breakdown which I was in the hospital for a few days. There was no sign of HIV in my system at that time and my six week test was negative as well. Unfortunately my whole family suffers from one form either OCD, depression or Bipolar disorders (Yes we have a horrible gene pool). I was the lucky one to inherit both, OCD and Depression and am wondering if I am bipolar as well since some days I feel OK and others not. I have seen a counselor for the past few weeks to help me deal cope with the stress however I also suffer from hyper tention and my BP today was 189/102.

To make a long story short, My lymphnodes are swollen in the right side of my body (neck and Groin) however I do not know where they are in my back to check. I know that symptoms mean nothing however I just do not know how to stop my mind from racing. Post nasal drip and tight throat does not help at all. I suppose this is what is so embarrassing, I have a masters degree but I feel so out of control right now that I cant stop my mind from thinking the worst. I'm smart enough to know the symptoms and always looking for the worst.

I just wish I had someone who could just help me calm down. I just feel lost. Again, sorry for the multiple postings, I just hate being the smart one with no common sense.

You know, All my family is gone and I dont have anyone to talk to. I just wish I could talk to someone who understands. If you talk to a real life counselor they will tell you to wait six months for a conclusive answer. I cant wait that long.

That makes me feel somewhat better since I am at week 7 come Monday, week six was negative. My life has not been the same since I was mugged six months ago and I am in fear of anything which is life threatening which is why I feel so threatened by this. I am a single father raising two kids alone and I canít afford to have something to happen to me for my kidís sake.

My ex has the kids every other weekend so I do have small windows to date however the past few weeks have been sheer hell between the dreams of the mugging, raising kids, working and now the fear of exposure. I just wish I could find someone who understands my fears without running away!

Ann, Andy and you have been kind enough to keep me calm through this and I thank all of you. So how do you approach a mate about asking for an HIV test together without scaring them off? So many people run when you ask them to take a test together.

My GF and I dated for three months and we discussed my fears. She assured me she was HIV free and she had a test three months ago. I did not want to loose another girlfriend and it sounds like we dont trust someone when we say "Where is the proof" so I let my guard down this time and did not insist that we take a test together. This will never happen again. I just did not want to loose another girlfriend. Big mistake because I cant handle this, and she left me because she said I did not trust her.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. Your six week negative result is NOT likely to change, although you do need to confirm that at three months.

Forget about DNA testing - you don't need it and a false negative result would do you far more harm than good.

I do NOT expect your negative result to change. Keep using condoms until you're in a securely monogamous relationship where you have tested together and you'll stay negative.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I just took a test at week 7 and the result was negative. I am starting to feel positive about myself again but wondering when I can stop obsessing about this. I still have a sore throat which bothers me but also understand that this is the cold and flu season. This is just my nature to obsess about things and too often I dwell on the negative. I suppose I can start to lower my emotional state and move on with life but in the future, how can I ask a woman to take a HIV test WITH me without offending them? So many people are offended, but I cant go through this again given my OCD disability and so often, I cannot find a steady partner because they say "You don't trust me?" I made that mistake once but never again. Emotions and feelings are such a fine line but I cant risk my mental state based on someones word nor do I think I can trust anyone without seeing a piece of paper. I suppose I just cant trust people.

Perhaps if you put the focus on caring about the person and caring about their health. Maybe you could say you care about them and you care about your future together. You could point out that it doesn't matter who you have had unprotected intercourse with, you have put yourself at risk. Point out that many people have no idea they are infected with hiv - and some of the other STIs have no obvious symptoms as well. It's not about moral judgements or trust, it's about illness, bacterias and viruses. It's about your health and your partner's health. It's about your future, not about the judgement of a person's past.

It may also help if you don't rush into a sexual relationship too early in the process of getting to know each other. If you treat sexual intimacy as something you do when you care about a person, then they may be more inclined to take things slowly and in such a way as you are seen to be protecting each other by using condoms until you've committed to a monogamous relationship and tested together.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

We kinda had this discussion and she said she had a test three months ago and she was negative. I insisted that we take one together where we both watch each other so that there was no question in either of our minds. She said I did not trust her, but I dont trust anyone's word. Like I said, I let my goard down because I really did have true feelings for her.. Sometimes it takes physical proof in my eyes to trust someone because one's word cannot always be trusted.

Today marks twn weeks and I have good news, and I dont know news. My latest results after nine weeks is negative but I need to get tested again tomorrow to keep myself sane. Last week I had a staph infection in my cheek from an ingrown hair. All of my blood levels were taken and I did not haveany elevated counts. I know this will not show anything for HIV. The infection caused severe swelling in my chin and I was out on IV antibiotics for two days. The swelling has gone down however for the last week or so I have talen 1000MG twice a day of Keflex and Bactrin DS. Yesterday I noticed some slight thrush and today its a little worse. Should I be worried about HIV at this point (Yes, Im taking another test tomorrow) or is this most likely from the antibiotics?

Second, I have met a wonderful woman. We have known each other for three weeks now and not had sex. I know that the time will be coming soon when we will have sex (protected) but want to know how to approach the time when we have unprotected sex. I dont think I have anything to ear from her but I would need to know because of my OCD. How can I talk to her after we have built a trusting relationship and say "I really enjoy your company and I want you to feel safe with me and I want to feel safe with you, would you take a test with me?" How can I take this approach when trust has already been established at an emotional level.

Finally, I am going to go see the doctor tomorrow about my mouth. I pray I have nothing to worry about

All, For whats it worth, I have been seeing a therapist which has helped out quite a bit with my PTSD and OCD. My meds for OCD have been changed so I am feeling somewhat better but this fear still exists within me. Its amazing how the mind can wreak havoc on your body. I will not feel better (in My mind) until the 18th which marks the 12/13 week mark. Once this is finished, I can move on regardless of the results and take treatment as needed if Positive. I just keep kicking myself for allowing this to happen.

When my Ex Wife remarried I had a small period of time when I only cared about sex, I hated to see her move on and I was still alone. At that time, I was with someone I cared about and she now she longer speaks to me because she swearers she is HIV- but I did not believe her. I felt we had a future but now realize, I need to keep protecting myself and I cant worry about what other people think. Why do life and relationships need to be so complicated?

Antibiotics are notorious for causing thrush. I can't even look at a bottle of antibiotics without getting thrush - and I've always been like that, since I was a kid. You were on IV antibiotics PLUS oral antibiotics and it would be no big surprise for you to get thrush. You can get a prescription from your doctor to take care of it - and eating bio-active yogurt will help as well.

As for having unprotected intercourse with the new woman in your life, I would suggest waiting until you've known each other for quite some time before you even think about it. In the meantime, use condoms and discuss your approach strategies with your therapist. Being honest with your woman about your OCD would be something to consider as well. If you cannot be honest with her about that aspect of your life, then perhaps you're not as close as you think.

Why do life and relationships have to be so complicated? Jolly good question! The alternative would be boring though, don't you think?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ann, Thank you for your reply. As usual you find a way to make people smile. I have no intentions of having unprotected sex anytime soon however it will come up sooner or later as something to discuss. I will have to share my OCD with my partner, however its a little embarassing because people will think you are messed up in the head, weak or any number of mental failures. Its hard to let your guard down about a mental illness.

I was reading last night and OCD coupled with a phobia such as myself is a very dramatic thing to overcome and often wonder if people accept those with multiple disorders such as myself. At work I am king sh!t on turd mountain and I am fearless. When I leave work behind and things are no longer in my control (such as others feelings and emotions) are when I start to doubt myself, and others. Its like I know my problem but dont know how to bet or overcome my problem if that makes any sense at all.

My therapist (I hate admitting I goto one) has helped out some, I just wish there was a magic pill to make everything better, much like everyone ense in the world.. We all have our personal struggles, I just want to know when it gets easier.