7 Ways to Identify a Female Narcissist in Your Life

When talking about narcissism, our minds tend to connect it with males. In reality, there are just as many women narcissists out there. Narcissism in women is becoming increasingly common. It is important to increase awareness of female narcissism and also to the fact that it is not gender-specific.

Female narcissists are usually more subtle in their tendencies and can be more difficult to spot. Female narcissists tend to focus more on physical appearances then male narcissists. There have been many studies that have linked narcissism to eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia.

Need help identifying a female narcissist? Read on for 7 behaviors and tendencies to look out for.

1. Dresses Provocatively

Female narcissists place a great deal of importance on their physical appearances. Often times, they dress provocatively and are prone to give out high levels of sexual energy. This way, they can ensure that the attention will be focused on them.

Dressing in a seductive manner fuels a female narcissists’ self-confidence and attractiveness. They dress in a way that they know will attract the attention of others. This attention increases her confidence and also fuels self-serving behaviors like promiscuity.

A female narcissist is a woman that never walks out of the house unless she looks immaculate. As mentioned above, there have been many studies linking eating disorders to narcissism because having the ideal physical appearance is placed at such a high priority.

2. Overly Confident

A female narcissist is very confident about the way she looks. Research shows that a narcissist is no more attractive than another woman, but she believes that she is much better looking than everyone else.

Narcissists are also prone to envy, although they will never show it. Female narcissists are careful to always present themselves in the best light. However, they will seek opportunities to undermine others which in turn make them feel even better about themselves.

Often times, a female narcissist is the social butterfly in the room. They are very outgoing and excel at being the center of attention.

3. Highly Competitive

Female narcissists are competitive. They believe that they are superior to others both physically and intellectually. They think that others, especially women, are envious and jealous of them. Often times they use this as an excuse for their lack of meaningful and intimate relationships.

When their friends enjoy achievements of their own, they always find a way to downplay their successes. They find ways to make non-competitive situations competitive.

They see life as a constant contest. Narcissists believe they must win because they use winning as proof of their perfection. This perfection is part of the false sense of self that they are constantly inflating.

4. Lack of Empathy

Empathy is an important part of being a human. We live out lives into adulthood expecting other adults to be “safe” and have the same empathetic qualities as ourselves.

Women narcissists lack empathy, and sometimes even something as simple as common courtesy. They put people down and do not hesitate to exploit others. They do not care about the feelings of others, especially if they conflict with their own. Do not expect narcissists to listen, understand, or support you.

They have a strong sense of entitlement and believe that they deserve special treatment over others. Narcissists can not comprehend that what they are doing is wrong, even when they hurt others.

5. Aggressive

One of the more dangerous tendencies of narcissists is that they exhibit abnormal rage or aggression when they don’t get what they want. Even worse if they are rejected.

They can have addictive personalities and engage in risky behavior. A big identifying factor of female narcissists are these bursts of aggression. They can go from 0 to 100 quite quickly, in a seemingly small situation.

These angry outbursts can be triggered by many things. Most of the time it is triggered by something that has made the narcissist go into defense mode. She can deflect by acting impatient, arrogant, and condescending.

These angry outbursts are common in both narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. Both personality disorders generally react with heightened emotion when others shed light on their deepest insecurities. There are many things to watch out for when it comes to aggressive narcissists, knowing how to avoid provoking them is always wise.

6. Blames Others

Women narcissists never take responsibility or accountability for their actions and behaviors. They have a tendency to blame others, no matter the situation. Often times, they will also blame others for their own behavior.

Narcissists don’t believe that they make mistakes. This also leads to the lack of ability to process the emotion of shame. Their shamelessness can sometimes be misconstrued as confidence.

The default is always a tendency to blame others when anything has gone wrong. Blaming others is much safer to narcissists than admitting their mistakes and learning from them.

Narcissists are quick to blame and slow to appreciate. Appreciation requires listening, and we have already established that those suffering from this disorder do not do well with that.

7. Unpredictable

Female narcissists can be extremely unpredictable in their moods and actions. It is often times difficult to figure out what they want.

Behaving unpredictably is often times part of their manipulation toolbox. The more you are confused, the more you are more susceptible to their thoughts and suggestions. This allows them to remain in control of any situation.

They have also become master manipulators, and unpredictable words or actions are ways they use to keep you on their side. Often times, narcissists do not follow a pattern. Instead, they rely on unpredictable patterns to keep you interested.

So You’ve Identified a Female Narcissist in Your Life

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), it lists the nine criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). While these behaviors are definitely symptoms of the disorder, female narcissists have specific characteristics that are especially pronounced.

Identifying these behaviors can help you identify if you have a female narcissist in your life. The preconceived notions that narcissism is predominantly in males is false.