Back in 1964, a Zambian teacher vowed that his country would beat America as the first country to put a man on the moon, and then they would go on to Mars. Unfortunately, his dream never came to fruition. The Zambians worked hard, though. His “astronauts” rolled down hills in barrels to get used to traveling through space. They practiced walking on their hands, as their leader assured them that was the only way to get around on the moon. But it all came to nought, because the United Nations wouldn’t give him the $700 million he needed to fund the space program. Plus, he couldn’t keep the “astronauts” minds off sex.