A blog written in the dead of night and delivered to you in a brown paper bag. It’s a cornucopia of tidbits, rants, and observations for the discerning eye. Good luck with all that. Now, for something completely different!

For the best part of 2,000 years, pilgrims have flocked to Jerusalem to retrace Jesus’s final steps. The Via Dolorosa, or ‘Way of Suffering’, took them from the Praetorium, where He was condemned to death by Pontius Pilate, to the site of the Crucifixion – or so they thought. Now, it seems they may have been walking in the wrong direction. A respected archaeologist claims that pilgrims have been starting from the wrong end of Jerusalem and that the locations of two of the holiest sites on the route are ‘completely wrong’. Shimon Gibson, a Holy Land specialist, said the traditional start of the Via Dolorosa, north of the Old City, should be at the other end of the city. Since medieval times, Christians have assumed that the Praetorium, the starting point of the route and the Roman headquarters mentioned in the Gospels as the scene of Jesus’s trial, was the Antonia Fortress which stood in the north of Jerusalem. But Professor Gibson said there was ‘no historical basis whatsoever’ for this being the site where Jesus was tried and condemned to death by the Roman governor Pontius Pilate. Little of the fortress’s structure has survived but, having surveyed the remains of its rock-cut base in intricate detail, he concludes that it could not have been more than a military observation tower. He said archaeological excavations pointed to the site of the trial being 900 metres away at the remains of a large paved courtyard south-west of Jerusalem, south of the Jaffa Gate. It was situated between two fortification walls with an outer gate and an inner one leading to barracks where it is most likely that Jesus was held. The open courtyard contained a platform of around two square metres – details that ‘correspond perfectly’ with the Gospel of John’s account of Pontius Pilate sitting on a judgment-seat at an elevated place. Professor Gibson, who is based at universities in Israel and America, said: ‘The astonishing thing is that thousands of Christian travellers and pilgrims pass by this site without realising its significance.’ Those who visit the Rock of Calvary ( or Golgotha) within the Church of the Holy Sepulchre to pray at the traditional rock of the crucifixion are also at the wrong location, he believes. The professor’s research, which will be published shortly in The Final Days of Jesus, shows that the site is too narrow to have accommodated one cross, let alone those of the two thieves crucified with Jesus. Professor Gibson believes the Crucifixion was some 20 metres from the traditionally accepted site, under an apse of the remains of the Church of the Martyrium. ‘Pilgrims walk across this area… without realising its significance,’ he said. Dr Mark Merrony, a specialist in archaeology of the Holy Land and editor of Minerva, the archaeological journal, said Professor Gibson’s research matched details in the Gospel of John and other ancient writings. He added: ‘This discovery provides a crucial insight into the final movements of Jesus and implies that the traditional Way of the Cross should be redefined. It seems likely that millions of pilgrims have been following an incorrect path of veneration.’ But the Reverend Canon Bill Broughton of St George’s, the Anglican cathedral in Jerusalem, said Professor Gibson’s ‘great work will embellish the [Christian] story and make it even more meaningful’ but would not lead to the route being redrawn. He said: ‘It’s the Way of the Cross that we walk in terms of our faith and theology, not the archaeological evidence. ‘Pilgrims of faith want the general pattern. It may not be exactly the same footsteps but, in reality, the place is sanctified by the presence of those who’ve been there and said their prayers.’ The Right Rev Tom Wright, the Bishop of Durham, said: ‘ Archaeology is always open to questions from further research. The Church has nothing to worry about on that score. I always welcome fresh investigations.’

CELLPHONE MEETS HAMMER – RESULTS ARE SMASHING

One of my sources of extreme irritation in this technologically laden world is cellphones. It appears I am not alone. In Cheyenne, Wyoming, 13 year-old Dena Christoffersen found that out the hard way. She sent or received about 20,000 text messages over about a month, and her parents’ phone plan didn’t cover texting. Oops, guess that can’t be good. Her father, Gregg Christoffersen, introduced her phone to a hammer after getting a phone bill for more than $4,750. Ouch, I’m betting that wasn’t in the budget. Verison has said they will work with them to reduce the bill. Dena has been grounded until the end of the school year. I suspect even after her grounding is over, a new cellphone is not in her future any time soon. Maybe they should have gotten her a Playstation instead.

ASSAULT OVER FARTS

In Waco, Texas, I’ve always believed that town should be spelled Wacko, five men are having lunch in a motel room. One starts passing horrendous gas. I guess he’d never heard of Beano. What do you do? Move? Get some fresh air? Throw up your dinner? Well, Jose Braule Ramirez came up with a novel idea. He grabbed a knife and and threw it at him and stabbed the guy in the leg and then once in the chest for good measure. No knows what he hoped to accomplish by this but it seems he felt jail would smell better which is where he is currently having all his meals.

TOWN ELECTS DEAD MAYOR TO FOURTH TERM

I’m always fascinated when things like this occur. Apparently, Winfield, Missouri re-elected their mayor about a month after he died of a heart attack. He was still a candidate because it was too late to print new ballots. I don’t know why the couldn’t have just drawn a line through his name. Intead he won overwhelmingly, which doesn’t say much for the other candidate, by a margin of 206 votes to 23. Harry Stonebraker died of a heart attack back in March, but still remains Mayor. At least they won’t have to listen to any long acceptance speeches. The only other person that I can think of that has experienced something like this is John Ashcroft when he lost his election to Mel Carnahan who had died in a plane crash. How do you explain something like that, “I lost to a dead man.” It’s got to hurt your ego. “I’m such a pathetic politician they liked the corpse better than me. ” The aldermen said they would appoint someone to serve in the mayor’s position. It was obvious no one wanted the live guy.

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVEN’T SEEN THIS, IF IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE, NOTHING WILL.

I couldn’t let this go by without making comment. I’m a lifelong Packer fan, but I’m also a Packer fan, then from time to time, I’m a Packer fan, and did I mention, I’m a Packer fan. Like everyone, I was surprised and a bit saddened when the day came that Brett decided to hang up his cleats. I went through the mourning and then got used to the idea that there would be a young and quite promising replacement waiting in the wings in the form of Aaron Rodgers. OK, now comes the announcement that Favre, arguably the greatest quarterback to grace the field wants to return and not retire. This puts all of us fans on an emotional roller coaster. I’d love to see Favre play some more, but this certainly isn’t fair to the kid that has been patiently waiting for his opportunity to shine. Aaron Rodgers proved last year when he stepped in for Favre in Dallas that he has excellent potential. He was told that it is his team now and the Packer organization is standing by that decision. One major problem. The Green Bay Packers are owned by the fans. Through the chaos of speculation and rumors over the weekend one thing remains clear, the decision as to whether Favre comes back to Green Bay may not be up to current management. Amidst protests at Lambeau Field, a call for an emergency stockholders meeting is being called. The stockholders being several thousand rabid Green Bay fans, no small number of which wouldn’t mind seeing Favre play out the remaining two years of his contract. Certainly his performance last year proved he’s still got Superbowl potential and is a long way from being washed up. Hence the big dilemma. Do you take back the known commodity or move forward into the unknown with possibly another Superbowl trophy hanging as the result? The Packer’s management has a no win situation on their hands, if they proceed with out Favre and have a crap season, Ted Thompson the General Manager will take a lot of heat. If Favre comes back and happens to crash and burn, same result. But what if that second Superbowl ring is in the cards for Favre and he goes somewhere else and gets it. Ted Thompson would have to move to Siberia. Packer fans would riot. Maybe, the only solution IS to let the fans choose. That way they only have themselves to blame and maybe that’s for the best all the way around.

POLICE DRUG CAR FULL OF DRUGS

Apparently police didn’t search a car well enough before they decided to use it for themselves. In Dallas, Texas, a car that had been siezed from drug dealers was put into operation for their own undercover narcotics officers. While a police officer was cleaning the 2004 Black Infinity, he discovered some hidden compartments…with 50 pounds of Cocaine. We’re talking a serious stash here. The drug cache hadn’t been previously discovered and the police had been driving around with it for two months without their knowledge. It appears their initial search of the car wasn’t all that thorough. Now they’re trying to figure out who originally owned the car. Seems if they impounded it on a drug siezure, they might have some kind of record. I’m thinking they weren’t too on top of things on this one.

SUBWAY STRIPPER BUSTED

In an effort to protest Chile’s penchant for prudishness, a local stripper took her act onto the neighborhood subway system. Apparently the performance wasn’t appreciated by the authroities who finally caught her during one of her impromptu performances. Personally I’m always up for a little entertainment during a long boring ride. Heck I would have been riding around just hoping to catch her act. Monserrat Morilles, 26, surprised subway riders all week stripping to skimpy underwear, but she refused tips. Who ever heard of a stripper that refused tips. She apparently used the subway poles for her act. She had been elusive all week, getting on quickly and then getting off just as fast so that she would avoid being busted. Monserrat’s luck ran out. “This is just a beginning. We are starting an idea here that will grow and be developed further,” she told Reuters as police and subway guards surrounded her. I never knew stripping could be political activism. We should use that concept in this country. Chilean media dubbed her “La Diosa del Metro” or Subway Goddess. She called her performances “happy minutes.” Yes I can see having “Happy Minutes.” More “Happy Minutes.” “Chile is still a pretty timid country,” said her manager Gustavo Pradenas. “People aren’t very extroverted and we want to take aim at that and make Chile a happier country.” Yes, happy, happy, happy, let’s all be happy.

DON’T DRINK AND STEAL

Probably one of the worst things you can do before committing a crime is get loaded. Spending a few hours building up some false courage before a quick B&E is just bad planning. John Michale Baker of Winnsboro, Texas did just that and everything one going alright, at first. The lady of the house saw him going inside and called her husband, who hurried home to deal with the thief. In the meantime of course the police were notified. Baker was just making his getaway when he arrived. The husband recognized Baker and wandered over to chat with him and Baker apparently a friendly drunk obliged talking with the husband right up until when the police arrived. Moral: If you’re gonna steal, steal don’t talk.

RUNNING WITH BULL, NEW ORLEANS?

Now this is a sport I can get behind…or in front of as the case may be. As usual New Orleans has come up with a twist on an old custom and this one has less patients in the hospital. Picture it. Hundreds of men, women and children, most in white with red scarves around their waists and red bandannas around their necks, gathered outside a French Quarter bar, I can see where the bar is real important in this one, Saturday morning to be chased down Bourbon Street by members of New Orleans’ roller derby league. Got that, Roller Babes. “Roller skates and a stampede through the Quarter — what could possibly go wrong?” said accountant Jason Medonia. Oh I don’t know, those roller girls can be pretty rough when they want to. 33 roller girls in horned helmets from teams with names like Confederacy of Punches and Crescent Wenches, took off to pursue the runners and strike them resoundly with plastic baseball bats. Oh, baby hit me hurt me. And guess what, Elvis too. Behind them putted Elvis impersonators on motorized scooters. Now what can be more complete than that. OK, maybe a jazz band, but hey, they’re not that hard to find. Sounds like a cool hot time in the Louisiana summer, bull, booze, and babes, everything we’ve come to expect from New Orleans.

They say that politics makes for strange bedfellows. Well, it doesn’t get much stranger than this. BAM racing has solicitied the Barack Obama campaign to sponsor one of their cars. This would make for a strange combination indeed. Nascar and its fans are a bastion of right-wing conservative Republicans that lean to the left only on the racing track. It seems his money would be better spent elsewhere. BAM team spokesman Rhett Vandiver told The Associated Press on Friday that the team has made a sponsorship proposal to the Democratic presidential hopeful’s campaign, and has made similar proposals to the campaign of Republican John McCain and at least one third-party candidate. It appears they are bound and determined to have some sort of political sponsorship no matter where it comes from. Sports Illustrated first reported the proposal on its Web site, saying Obama’s campaign is in talks with BAM, a part-time operation that hasn’t raced in recent weeks, to sponsor its No. 49 car in the Aug. 3 race at Pocono. “I don’t know how far along the discussions are,” Vandiver told AP. Asked about the talks, Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki said, “We get a lot of good ideas every day, but there are no such agreements in place at this time.” But BAM’s choice of drivers and car brands might turn out to be a little too sticky politically for the Obama camp. The car, a Toyota, the only foreign automaker racing in NASCAR, would be driven by veteran Ken Schrader. According to the Federal Election Commission’s Web site, Schrader gave $1,000 to the campaign of North Carolina Republican congressman Robin Hayes in June 2004, and a total of $2,500 in 2003 and 2004 to the failed Virginia congressional campaign of Republican Kevin Triplett, a former NASCAR official. Also according to the FEC, Mrs. Ann Schrader of Concord, N.C. and Ken Schrader Racing donated a total of $2,000 to President Bush’s campaign in May 2004. None of this makes any sense for Obama. It just seems stupid. It all looks like BAM racing is desperate to find sponsorship anywhere and is clutching for straws. A “vote for Obama” car zipping around the oval driven by Republicans, maintained by Republicans and built by Republicans is just wrong on so many levels. It just seems a little like the beginning of the apocalypse or at least a sign of it anyway.

LUNCHBOX SAVES MANS LIFE

Don’t go anywhere without your lunchbox. Carlos Juarez says his lunchbox saved his life. That’s quite a claim. He was waiting for his ride to work early Tuesday in his driveway when two attempted robbers accosted him, demanding money. Right in your own driveway, is nothing sacred? Carlos replied he had no money and the would-be thieves opened fire, hitting him twice in the side. Juarez said he reflexively held up his lunch cooler over his chest to shield himself from the bullets and the cooler was hit twice. It’s not everyone that can say their lunchbox took a bullet for them, let alone two. “He thinks the cooler saved his life,” Carlos Paz, a friend who translated for Juarez, told The Associated Press. “If he doesn’t have the cooler, the shots come maybe in the heart.” Juarez still has one of the bullets that was in the cooler. I might keep a souvenir too. A lunch container of rice and meat has a bullet hole, as does a package of gum also in the cooler. After Juarez was shot, he climbed the stairs of the apartment building with the cooler still in his hand. “Carlos, I got shot,” he told his friend. Paz said at first he didn’t believe it, but then saw blood on his friend’s side and called police. Blood would give you a clue. Juarez, who was treated at a hospital and released, says doctors have been unable to remove two bullets from his side because of swelling. He also had a cut on his forehead that he suffered when one of the men hit him with what he thinks was a bat as Juarez reached for the cooler. Juarez, who came to the United States from Ecuador about five years ago, works for a concrete flooring company. No arrests had been made Wednesday.

$55,000 FOUND IN JAIL BATHROOM

Somebody lose something? Possibly a lot of money? Well check lost and found, it appears they have it. A correctional officer at the intake facility at the St. Louis County Justice Center in Clayton, Missouri, last week found $55,000 stuffed behind a toilet paper dispenser. The bundle of money was in $100 and $50 bills, said Clayton Police Chief Thomas Byrne. Officials interviewed inmates about the money, but none admitted knowing anything about the stashed cash. I bet they didn’t. Cash like that inside of prison sounds like a pyoff for something to me. That’s one deal that won’t go down.The money was placed in a special bank account until the owner can be determined, Byrne said. Or arrested, I bet.

CITY POTTY TRAINING RESIDENTS

Imagine, as a grown adult, your city trying to teach you how to properly use the restroom. That is exactly what one city in South Taiwan has started to do. To reduce over 340 tons of waste generated daily, Tainen launched it’s new potty training program which is geared towards teaching its 764,000 residents to flush their toilet paper instead of throwing it in trash cans. Yuck. “An old habit is to throw toilet paper in the trash can beside the toilet, which causes a major stink that’s bad for public sanitation.” Ya think? When “Japanese and Western visitors come to Taiwan, they find this Taiwan toilet habit to be quite poor.” I’d say that’s an understatement. This habit developed because of pipe backup and clogging problems, however the current system can handle the load without backing up. In addition to solving the issue of trash buildup and smell concerns, flushing the toilet paper will actually save the city $600 million a year in trash treatment costs.

WESTERN SPAGHETTI

This is a creative little piece that I just found clever and fun.Check it out.

Well, once again Jesse Jackson thought nobody was paying attention when he made an offhand remark that even has his son a bit disgusted with him. Jackson said the “hurtful and wrong” comments Sunday came in response to a question from a fellow guest during a break from taping “Fox & Friends.” The guest asked about speeches on morality Obama has given at black churches. Jackson said at a news conference that he had replied that Obama’s speeches can come off as speaking down to black people and that there were other important issues to be addressed in the community, such as unemployment, the mortgage crisis and the number of blacks in prison. He said he was not aware the microphone was still on. Now that’s just stupid. What makes him think they would have turned it off? Although personally, I think Obama talks down to everyone. Fox News aired Jackson’s comment Wednesday night, including a slang reference to his wanting to cut off Obama’s testicles. Ouch, dude that’s harsh. The report bleeped out the slang but made clear what Jackson said. “For any harm or hurt that this hot mic private conversation may have caused, I apologize,” he said in a written apology released earlier in the day. “My support for Senator Obama’s campaign is wide, deep and unequivocal.” Well, it certainly doesn’t sound like it. Jackson’s problem is he got caught. The opinion and the statment still exists. Jackson said he called Obama’s campaign to apologize. Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton noted that the Illinois senator grew up without his father and has spoken and written at length about the issues of parental responsibility and fathers participating in their children’s lives, and of society’s obligation to provide “jobs, justice and opportunity for all.”He will continue to speak out about our responsibilities to ourselves and each other, and he of course accepts Reverend Jackson’s apology,” Burton said. Oh, boy all is rosey once again in politics land. Jackson’s comments sparked something of a family feud. His son, Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., said he was disappointed by his father’s “reckless statements.” “His divisive and demeaning comments about the presumptive Democratic nominee and I believe the next president of the United States, contradict his inspiring and courageous career,” the younger Jackson said. “Reverend Jackson is my dad, and I’ll always love him. I thoroughly reject and repudiate his ugly rhetoric. He should keep hope alive and any personal attacks and insults to himself.” Ouch, that’s going to leave a mark. Jackson, may have apologized, but I don’t think that’s how he really feels. These “off the record” comments were rather strong. I say it’s a no confidence vote for Obama from Mr. Jackson.

DEATH BY FOLDING COUCH

If you’re drunk don’t let yout wife put you in a folding couch. In St. Petersburg, Russia a man came home drunk which didn’t make his wife happy. St Petersburg’s Channel Five said the man’s wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying. Apparently the wife didn’t notice what she had done. I’m not certain she hadn’t had a few to drink as well. The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband. Video on the television channel’s website showed emergency workers sawing away the side panels of a couch to remove a man in his underwear lying headfirst between the cushions. Emergency workers said the man died instantly. What a way to go.

HUMAN MIRROR

This was a project that took place on the New York subway systems. There were 10 sets of identical twins involved and they wanted to see how people reacted. Its a cool vid so check it out.

Prince Harry worked up a sweat Tuesday as he carted wheelbarrows of cement mixture, filled a ditch and hammered nails from old roofing boards. The young royal was helping refurbish a school for mentally and physically disabled children under the auspices of a charity he founded in the impoverished African kingdom of Lesotho in memory of his late mother. Asked if Princess Diana, known for her charity work around the world, would be proud, he said simply: “I hope so.” I’m sure she would be. We see so much today about what The British Royal family is doing to create the newest flap, but we rarely hear about what they are doing that makes the world better. Harry and his regiment from the Household Cavalry were helping put in wheelchair access, build a new kitchen and lay fencing around the Thuso Center. “I love physical labor,” he said at the start of a three-week visit. “It would be wrong to be a patron of a charity and not get involved.” How often do you hear somebody that’s rich and famous say that. The African trip by members of the Household Cavalry has been planned for some time, but the decision to help the project in Lesotho was suggested by Harry. The Prince first visited Lesotho in 2004, when he met young tuberculosis and AIDS sufferers. Harry and his regiment put in eight hours a day working on the center, occasionally getting in a game of football with local villagers. Violet Moqolobane, 44, a disabled woman who works at the center, was impressed to see the tall, redheaded Harry taking part in both games and work. “Most chiefs don’t act like him,” she said. “They think they are so important.” Pootsela Tseisa, 24, said Harry was behaving as true royalty should. “He loves us. We are one for him, not black or white,” he said. “This is a good example that we should follow. It doesn’t matter how rich or how wealthy your family is.”

MAN CALLS POLICE TO REPORT DRUGS STOLEN

They say that drugs affect your mind and destroy brain cells. In this case it was probably true, but truthfully, I’m not sure he had too many to start with. An East Hartford, Connecticutt man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine. You can tell already, this plan is flawed. Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received. Maybe he should have called Walmart. Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics. During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, “Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?” He added that his question was rhetorical. Well, considering they were suppossed to be dealing, they might want ot consider it. Prosecutors later dropped the charges. Laura Weslund, Minnefield’s public defender, said no drugs were ever found. Of course not, he never got them. This story is just full of brilliant deductions.

THE TREE WITH A FACE

Sometimes nature can play strange tricks. This one is pretty cool. The face-tree was brought into the Daily Times newspaper in Maryville, Tennessee on Monday, by Ernest Ward, a groundskeeper at the local Magnolia Cemetery. Ward said it was found on Monday as he and co-workers cleaned up debris from a weekend storm. According to him, a former worker at the cemetery believes the face is a spirit. If it is a spirit, you just cut it in half, how do you think it feels about that?

LOST TOLKIEN POSTCARD FOUND

Have you ever been tearing out a wall or getting a room a found something kind of cool stuck in the wall or behind something. That’s what happened to a demolision man from England as he was stripping out a house where Lord Of The Rings author J.R.R. Tolkien used to live. Stephen Malton, who runs Prodem Demolition in Bournemouth on the south English coast, was working in the house in the nearby town of Poole before it was bulldozed to make way for a new construction project. “Before we demolish a house we do an internal strip out,” Malton said. “One of the main features was a fireplace, and upon removing that we came across three postcards. The third one was a postcard dated 1968 and addressed to J.R.R. Tolkien.” That would be so cool. Malton said research on the Internet suggested that the carved wooden fireplace with marble inlay, a feature of the house when Tolkien lived there from 1968 to 1972, was already worth up to $250,000. “To tie in both the fireplace and the postcard, we are talking about a price of around $500,000 for the combined pair.” That would be even cooler. That’s one heck of a payday. The postcard was addressed to Tolkien at the Miramar Hotel in Bournemouth, where he and his wife Edith often stayed. It is from “Lin,” which Malton believed could be fellow fantasy author Lin Carter who wrote “Tolkien: A Look Behind ‘The Lord of the Rings,'” published in 1969. He also helped finish writing the Robert E. Howard, Conan series along with L. Spraque DeCamp, as well as wrote dozens of fantasy stories of his own. Depicting a scene from Ireland, it reads: “I have been thinking of you a lot and hope everything has gone as well as could be expected in the most difficult circumstances.” This is an immense find for fantasy collectors. Malton was not sure what the “difficult circumstances” might be. Tolkien had achieved fame by the time he moved to Poole in 1968. He remained in Poole until his wife’s death, when he moved back to Oxford. Tolkien died in 1973, aged 81.

GORBACHOV MEETS ZOMBIES

Now for a bit of culture? from the other side of the world. Below is a link to a music video by a Russian metal band called ANJ. It portrays a battle axe wielding Mikhail Gorbachov fighting a legion of Zombies, saving Mother Russia and bringing western culture to the zombie besieged country. The video is hilarious and a lot of fun. Check it out for some fun Russian humor.

Are the candidates taking security too far? The video below shows a 61-year-old librarian being harrassed and removed from a John McCain town hall meeting in Denver, Colorado. Now as I understand them, town hall meetings are where you meet the candidates and then ask your most probing questions of them to see if they are worthy of your vote. It is also suppossed to be a forum where you express your opinions to candidates to see if they are willing to do something about the issues that are most important to you. This video clearly shows the people in charge of the McCain camp and the meeting trying to stop some individuals who might have dissenting opinions of McCain from even attending the rally. They cite security as their reasoning for refusing the admittance. The police are then called and tickets are issued for trespassing at a public event! Is this Security or censorship? Are our politicians more interested in the orchestration of their gatherings than maybe having a rogue question catch them off guard? How are we to have a political process when the process is quelled. This video shows a disturbing trend with individuals who are obviously no danger to anything being ushered out of sight, out of mind and then to add insult to injury with fines and court appearances when they are performing a valid exercise of their political, not to mention constitutional rights. Last I looked, this was still the United States wasn’t it? Did I miss a meeting?

A CUP OF TEA SAVED MY LIFE

What do you do when you’re confronted with a knife weilding thief? Why you make him a cup of tea of course. A 30-year-old Tokyo, Japan woman was walking along a corridor in her apartment building with her daughter on Monday when a man brandishing a knife demanded money. I hate it when that happens. When the housewife told him she had none, the man barged into her apartment. Apparently he didn’t believe her. Hoping to calm him, the woman made the thief a cup of tea, whereupon he put his knife away and began a 20-minute monologue about his life. The dude had a Dr. Phil moment. Or maybe it was a Jerry Springer moment, we don’t actually know what he said to her. The woman then gave the man 10,000 yen ($93.34) and ran outside to call the police from a pay phone. The guy should have been paying her for the couch time. Police rushed to the scene, but the thief had fled and is still being sought. See, a spot of tea can save your life, quick thinking, a friendly ear, it’s all good.

COP SAYS DECAPITATED MAN GAVE PERMISSION TO STEAL HIS BELONGINGS

I can’t believe any one actually bought this load of bull. A Caledon, Germany, police captain, Dawid Johann Jullies claiming that a decapitated car crash victim had given him permission to take the floor mats and hub caps from the wrecked vehicle, was subsequently found innocent of theft by an internal police hearing when the investigators concluded that the decapitated victim did indeed give permission, contrary to the family’s claims that this was impossible. What? How stupid were these people? Subsequently, a court agreed with the family and found the officer guilty of theft, sentencing him to 3 years in prison, suspended for 5 years. So in other words, he got off with a “don’t do it again.” However, Julies became the police station commissioner the very next day, or ironically, the head of the police station, despite having been found guilty of theft by the court. There’s nothing like rewarding larceny. Yep let’s give him a promotion. Somtimes there’s just no justice.

MARRY YOUR DOGS, NO MORE “LIVING TOGETHER”

Do you have nore than one dog? Well, don’t let them live in sin anymore, get them a wedding and make their life legal. Yes, it’s a new trend, like Americans didn’t have anything else to spend their money on. The popularity of dog weddings is on the rise and Reverands are finding that a little pet wedding can add an extra boost to their coffers. For the 63% of Americans who own pets, there’s a growing sector of the $40 billion dollar pet industry waiting to sell them wedding-related services like pet marriage counseling, pet wedding planners, pet caterers, pet trainers, and even special pet priests who conduct actual certified pet weddings. As one reverend told the Chicago Tribune: “Marriage for an animal is almost like marriage for a human. An animal union is more like a blessing under God. Well, I am a reverend,” Scott said. He apparently didn’t want to give his full name. “If you’re in a family with two animals and they want to unite in a wedding, what difference does it make? It is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It is a sign that animals often seek to form a lasting bond and have deep commitment.” Keep telling yourself that Scott. Pet owners can make the wedding even more official by getting a real human marriage license and setting up a gift registry at PetSmart. You didn’t think big business wasn’t going to get in on this did you? Question: If the dogs are legally married and they have puppies, does selling them constitute puppy slavery? Does the married couple have recourse to get their children back? I bet there’s some lawyer out there willing to test this.

IT APPEARS SOMEONE FINALLY FOUND A USE FOR THAT ORDAINMENT LICENSE THEY GOT FROM THE BACK OF ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE FOR $20.

This may turn out to be a hard won lesson in civics. A University of Minnesota student named Max P. Sanders decided to offer his vote for the next presidential election up for auction on Ebay with a starting bid of $10. Anybody see a problem with this? Yes, it’s illegal. His listing encouraged buyers with the words “Good luck!” and “You’re country depends on You!” It appears he flunked English 101. Now that the Minnesota prosecutors have gotten involved, he’s claiming it was all a joke. “We take it very seriously. Fundamentally, we believe it is wrong to sell your vote,” said John Aiken, a spokesman for the prosecutor’s office. “There are people that have died for this country for our right to vote, and to take something that lightly, to say, ‘I can be bought.'” Yes voting, you know, that thing that most Americans ignore on election day. It’s refreshing to know somebody out there takes it seriously. So seriously in fact that Sanders was charged with one count of bribery, treating and soliciting. If found guilty, he faces up to five years in prison a hefty $10,000 fine. To add insult ot injury there’s an uploading fee from Ebay for the auction. By the way, no one bid on the auction. Talk about a bust all the way around. I bet we won’t be seeing that one again.

CZECH ARTIST’S NUCLEAR EXPLOSION PRANK

I have to admit that I can appreciate a prank as much as anyone. I even like to pull a few myself. This one is too weird for words, but we’re going to try. A group of artists hacked into a national television weather broadcast to show a fake nuclear explosion in the Czech mountains. Members of the Prague-based Ztohoven art group admitted tampering with equipment at the public broadcaster Czech Television so viewers watching a live panoramic shot of the Krkonose, or Giant Mountains, in June last year saw a flash of bright light and a fiery mushroom cloud rising on the horizon. That would have scared the crap out of me. Seven artists were acquitted of spreading false information in March but the state prosecutor appealed the verdict. An appeals court in Hradec Kralove, east of the capital Prague, overturned the decision last week in a ruling made public Monday, court spokesman Michal Strnad said. The court ordered a new trial for a date yet to be set. If found guilty, they face a maximum three-year jail term. The group claimed the aim of its project was to show how reality could be manipulated by the media. I don’t see why they couldn’t have picked some other subject than nuking the neighborhood. Czech Television called such stunts “improper” and said they could scare many people. Ya think? In December, Prague’s National Gallery awarded Ztohoven the new NG 333 prize for young artists. The 333 stands for the size of the cash prize – 333,000 koruna or about $22,000. I think they should get their money back.

MEN CAUGHT GROWING POT IN CEMETERY

The caretakers of a Vietnam cemetery were busted for growing pot within the plots. Police took in Nguyen Manh Hung, 44, who heads the caretaker team at the cemetery in Hanoi’s outer district of Hoang Mai, and Ho A Lau, 46, after the authorities found cannabis plants grown on a 25 square meter (82 square feet) patch, the Vietnam Labour Confederation-run Lao Dong newspaper said. That is a seriously lot of weed. Police have detained the two custodians who were about to harvest their first crop of cannabis from a cemetery in Vietnam’s capital Hanoi. Rookies, it figures. The fate of these two is uncertain as Vietnam has basically a double standard towards drugs. Vietnam has strict drug trafficking laws, including in some cases the death penalty, but it has long been used as a transit point for trade in heroin, hashish, opium, amphetamine pills and other illegal drugs. They may just punish them for being dumb enough to get caught. They seem to have a “as long as it doesn’t come to our attention, we’re OK with it” attitude.

FED-EX GETS IT WRONG, RECIPIENT ARRESTED

Since we’re on the subject, never send your dope Fed-Ex. They just might go to the wrong house. A mistaken delivery tipped off police to a 200-pound shipment of marijuana. That’s alot of pot! Police tell The Baltimore Sun they learned about the shipment when it was delivered Tuesday to the wrong resident. That’s when they developed a sneaky plan to catch the dude it was really going to. Authorities posed as FedEx employees and arrested the shipment’s intended recipient, 30-year-old Richard Gwatidzo. That’s what you get when you trust a shipment like that to a delivery service. What ever happened to a brown paper bag in the dead of night? He was charged Thursday with possession of a large quantity of a controlled dangerous substance with intent to distribute along with other drug related charges. He should have been charged with stupidity along with a substandard IQ.

I'm an Author, Journalist, Columnist, Photographer, Editor and Publisher and have been writing for about 30 years. For several years I published my own magazine about Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I live in Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan. Currently I've been blogging around the internet - MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT MY OTHER HUMOR BLOG "What Were They Thinking?" AT: http://mikelclassen.wordpress.comTo learn more about the writer behind the blog, go his website at www.mikelclassen.com Sign the guestbook while you're there.