Spoof news stories from Sunday 20 November 2011

The Barrister's wig is as old as English law, dating back to the first representatives in court in the 1600s. Now, nearly five hundred years later, British Barristers have been told that the wig will be optional.
"It's a remarkable step forward,"...

We spoke to some stocky man who claimed he was an insider of David Haye's camp yesterday, and he claimed that Haye will come out if retirement in March to fight Vitali Klitschko, elder brother of Wladimir, who shook him in Hamburg last year.
At on...

It seems like only yesterday that the American Dream promised you could be anyone, do anything, and go anywhere without fear and with full freedom. But all that has changed. Here's a list developed by the US Department of Expectations detailing the Top 10 Signs The American Dream Is Over:
1. Instead of freshly ground pepper on your salad, you get industrial-strength pepper spray in your face.

London - She's been banished from Tuesday's glittering reception for Turkey President Abdullah Gul due to new bulimia attack fears that Kate Middleton will end up chucking up all over extinguished - er...distinguished! - guests.
"The Queen just ca...

Tiger Woods is back and thank God for that. Watching golf without Tiger Woods is like watching paint dry and watching golf with Tiger Woods is pure excitement. Golf is like life only on a larger scale.
The bigger they are the harder they fall. T...

Although breakdowns in relationships ought never to be taken lightly, there is some degree of jollity to be weaned from the experience of US TV star, Ashton Kutcher, who, according to sources 'will never learn.'
Having wooed and won the target of...

London - Last weekend's 'despicable' theft of a £25,000 poppy brooch meant for public display on Katherine Jenkins' Festival of Remembrance bosom may have triggered a royal pilfering cover-up scandal media sources warned today.
Hundreds of files a...

There has never been a lot of love lost between Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh, but recently things have taken a turn for the worse.
With a string of manufactured boy and girl 'bands' linked to their respective names, the rivalry has been simmering...

Heather Fields, 24, of Shanklin has put the Isle of Wight on the map thanks to her nails!
In the National Nail Championships held at Birmingham's NEC Arena, Heather competed among the country's finest nail growers.
"It's such an honour," said H...

Once a slave, forever a slave. There are some ways to attest the hypothesis, such as the EU austerity measures.
Alfred Marshall, 1842-1924, said, '…Economics is a study of mankind… ', and economy has a naughty cycle: recession. When in recession we sit idle, do nothing but need to tighten the belts, i.e. take austerity measures. In good old days, that cycle, due to precipitation shortage, was...

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin recently stated that she had never been more depressed than when her cable show Kate Plus 8 recently got cancelled.
Gosselin told Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo that she was so devastated when she...

The Anticoagulation Clinic, due to increasing attendees, and the Government cut-backs, decided to send me to the Blood Testing Centre to have my Warfarin levels tested in future.
Shame really, because at the Clinic, they used to take a tiny drop of blood out of a finger end, and do the test, and get the results in about ten minutes maximum. And they gave an appointment time to attend.
Now I'...

David Clarke, former front man of The Doormats has gone out on his own and created an album full of old style angst and musicality reminiscent of the early Rolling Stones.
Only the brilliance and poignant writing of David Clarke can produce an album called How About a Cup of STFU?
Clarke is said to have written the song about his brother-in-law. When asked though why a man from England w...

With its failed attempt to pass "Stop Online Piracy Act" (SOPA), Congress has decided to wait on attacking the pirates on the internet and moved its attention onto the pets who pirate sounds from the entertainment industry.
"Pets have been quotin...