Favorite Quotes

"I'm so busy.... I don't know if I found a rope... or lost my donkey! - Unknown"

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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Living Life in a Fish Bowl

Usually and I tell stories about my kids….but I’m going to tell one on myself today. There is absolutely nothing normal about me or my life. Nor can I have a typical vacation. Memorial Day and the Redden Reunion turned out to be no exception!!

Bob and the kids went down on Wednesday. I had to work and didn’t go down until Saturday morning. So we had two vehicles down there. We had a great day on Saturday and went to the Reunion on Sunday. Bob and I had rented a nearby hotel room because my in-law house was full. Two of my Sister-in-laws were there along with one of their husbands and my grown niece. We decided we’d stay in the hotel room with all four kids on Sunday night and then get up that morning and head back to KS. We were going to stop by Tulsa on the way and see the older kids’ birthday family as well.

About 5pm on Sunday, I start throwing up. We go back to the hotel hoping it will pass quickly. Bob took the four kids down to the indoor pool so that I could rest. He was in the exercise room, watching the kids through the glass wall. He saw Libby dunk Madi and Carlie. And then she dunked Frank. We’ve told her and told her to leave him alone and he’s have severe issues with his temper and anger right now. When she dunked him, he chased her all the way out of the pool with murder in his eyes. She got up on a pool chair to get away from him and still her pursued her and punched her on the leg as hard as he could. All this happened before Bob could get to them. When Bob pulled him out of the pool, he got aggressive with Bob and started cursing at him and got in his face. Bob pushed him (not slammed him) up against a wall to contain him. Another gentleman at the pool saw this happening and tried to intervene. He was Christian man wearing a cross and told Bob something along the lines that he needed to parent in a Christian and loving manner. Bob explained to him that we believed the same way he did, but this was somewhat a special situation.

When they came back to the room, I remember them telling me that Frank had hit Libby. But I don’t remember them saying anything about the guy at the pool. Frank continued to be aggressive and angry. By that time I was really, really sick and we decided that I needed to go to the ER. I’ve had gastric bypass surgery. And when you get a stomach virus, you get really sick, really fast. We asked Memaw to come stay in the hotel with the kids. So we found ourselves in a small town ER on a holiday weekend near a very large lake. We sat in the waiting room for two hours with me throwing up into a bag as the police brought in handcuffed drunks, people who’d been in fist fights….you name it.

While we were gone, Frank put on his very best show for Memaw. He was throwing a fit and screaming and banging on the floor. We didn’t get home until 4am. Monday morning we sleep in, but we were both exhausted. We both NEED to be at work on Tuesday. We decided to drive the two vehicles home, but I got 30 miles away and called Bob and told him that I couldn’t drive safely. Bob didn’t want to leave his truck in OK, so he called my FIL and BIL. They came in Pepaw’s truck. My BIL Mike drove Bob’s truck home, Bob drove me home, and Pepaw drove his truck. I was so mortified!!! I slept all the way home. We had to cancel the visit with Frank and Libby’s birth family. We got home about 5pm, and had only been home a few minutes when my Mom called. I was half out of it. I told her I’d been throwing up…but I guess I didn’t tell her about the ER or about having the in-laws drive us home.

The next day Frank had a doctor’s appointment, so my Mom brought him to Wichita and I met them there. My Mom goes “What did you think about what they guy said to Bob at the pool?” And I go “Huh???” So she tells me all about it. I’d had no idea. So we have the meeting with the new doctor, and the Frank goes home with Mom. She asked him if he was good while he was in OK. He said “Mostly, except for the part when Mom was in the ER.” And my Mom goes “Huh?” and Frank says “Yeah, we all went back to the hotel room and then Dad took Mom to the ER.” And my Mom goes “And they left you in the hotel ALONE?!?!?!” And Frank says “No, Memaw came and stayed with us.” And then he got to telling Mom about Uncle Mike (my BIL by marriage) and how much he liked him. And he said “Yeah, Uncle Mike drove my Dad’s truck home.” And Mom goes “He did, why would he do that?” And Frank said “Because Pepaw was driving HIS truck.” And Mom goes “Well where was your Mom and Dad?” And Frank said “Well Dad was driving Mom in the minivan because she was sick.” Sooooo…she finally gets it all put together.

So later than night, Memaw calls Bob and tells us she’s really concerned about Frank and how awful he was acting at the hotel. They talk nearly an hour and Bob explains to her that we are in the process of changing Frank’s doctor and therapist. I took a bath, and then called my Mom to see if they made it home alright. Well apparently as soon as Memaw had hung up the phone with Bob, she’d called MY Mom and they’d discussed the situation.

And I love them all dearly and they are wonderfully supportive…and thank God we are all on the same page about what needs to be done for Frank. But I laid there in bed after I hung up with my Mom and thought “I feel like I’m a goldfish living in a round goldfish bowl. I don’t know what’s worse….that everyone can see everything that I do……or that I’m swimming around and around in circles….or that everyone is watching me swim around and around in circles!!!!”

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About Me

My husband and I have four kids, and they are all unique and special in their own ways. And I have several others that I did not raise their entire lives, but I "claim".
Bob is the head high school football Coach at Circle. I am an IT Manager.
J.B is 22 and came to live with us when he was 17. He's my pirate.
Frank is 14, we've had him since he was three years old. He's my rebel. He's not living with us right now.
Libby is 13, we've had her since she was 2 years old. She is my Helper and our Athlete.
Madolyn is 10 years old. She was 4 days old when we got her and she is my Diva.
The baby is Carlie. She is 9 years old and is our Brainiac.
We have four cats and a three-legged dog who live in the house. A donkey, two goats and numerous cats outside.
And we have two loving sets of grandparents that we spend lots of time with.