Tag: addiction

Using drugs while pregnant

Everyone has a strong opinion about those who continue to abuse substances while pregnant. Even those who suffer from the same disease. Drugs aside, women are hard on each other. Mothers are even worse. Mothers judging one another is out of hand when drugs aren’t in the picture. We have all been guilty of it in some way or another. “OMG, JoAnn lets Jake drink apple juice, it’s full of sugar, I only give my girl water!” said one of the perfect moms in my family. You would think I was giving him heroin or something. Add drugs to the situation, and everyone becomes judge and jury.

Imagine you are suffering from the disease of addiction and find yourself pregnant.

We aren’t talking about smoking pot or drinking now and then. Your drug of choice is opiates. It doesn’t matter what form you take them in, pills or heroin. If you wind up pregnant, you have a serious problem on your hands. If you are an addict that used opiates ask yourself. Would you be able to lay the drug down? It’s true that some women could and do. They find out they are expecting and they stop never to look back again until sometime after the child is born. There are a few that never touch the drug again.

Most in this position will end up on Methadone or Suboxone.

There are lots of expecting mothers at the Methadone Clinics in Louisville, KY where I took either Methadone or Suboxone off and on for fifteen years. These women while waiting in line told me that withdrawal while pregnant is very dangerous to the baby. So much so that doctors feel that allowing the mother Methadone or Suboxone is safer than quitting cold turkey. With Methadone/Suboxone dispensed at a clinic the OBGYN at least knows what drug is being introduced to the baby and how much. If these women were buying drugs off the street, there’s no telling what their dealer is cutting the drug with, not to mention the threat of Fentanyl now. The clinics also drug test regularly so her OBGYN doesn’t have to bother with any of that. In the end, the baby is indeed born addicted to Methadone but had the mother continued to use on the street the chances are too high that both mom and baby could die of an overdose.

What if there are no Methadone/Suboxone Clinics around for you to use this safety net for you and your unborn child.

Would you be able to put the drug down and walk away? My first reaction to this question is yes!! I would just put it down no question. The truth though isn’t that simple. There is no way I can say that honestly though. I believe that addicts are compassionate people. After they take drugs or drink for the first time, they discover what it is NOT to have their feelings exploding with emotion. If an addict is in love, IT IS dark LOVE. If you hurt them, IT HURTS BAD. More often than not just say sorry and give it some time. They will forgive you. Once we find a substance that makes a living with our immense feelings bearable, we aren’t giving it up easy.

The problem is that drugs have such a horrible stigma that now we are numbing those old emotions but are also developing massive amounts of shame and guilt because of the using. Now we have to use more to cover those feelings up too. If I found myself pregnant and continued to use the pain that would cause within myself would be debilitating. Which would cause me to use and use hoping against hope to forget even for a moment the situation I was putting my unborn child in.

What happens if a woman is caught using while pregnant?

Put her in jail and throw away the key, right? Do you think she wanted to harm her baby? No, she didn’t. It doesn’t matter though because in America we call Addiction a disease, but we don’t treat it like one. If she had diabetes, one of those severe cases, while pregnant and continued to eat cookies and drink soda putting her unborn child and herself in danger no one would suggest jail for that woman. That is because we treat Diabetes like a disease and Addiction like a moral failing.

Female addicts are some of the harshest critics of mothers who continue to use.

We have to stop doing this to one another. We need to stick together. All of us have done at least one thing that we are not proud of while using. So I had sex for money, and she used drugs while pregnant. Who am I to judge her? We were and are sick. We made and make mistakes. Why not work together? We have enough people judging and hating us simply for using drugs. Our people should be a safe spot.

To the mothers reading this,

Whether you have the disease of addiction or not. STOP BEING SO HATEFUL TO OTHER MOMS. Parents need to uplift one another. Addicts need to remember just how hard it was to quit using and how many times they slipped up. So what you were lucky enough not to find yourself expecting a baby in the middle of it. Thank goodness huh, cause it’s more likely than not that you would have continued to use too.

They say addiction is a disease, but they don’t act that way. If people believed addiction was a disease things would be different in our Country. Yes, the doctors and the government officials all call addiction a disease but they don’t treat it like it is a disease. If they did when someone overdosed they wouldn’t be let back onto the streets in four hours. The hospital would know that they need to keep the patient until a long-term bed could be found. Acknowledging that someone with the disease of addiction who just overdosed is much more likely to die than any other patient they will see besides the trauma patients. They don’t do any of these things though. Because they don’t treat addiction as a disease.

If law enforcement viewed addiction as a disease then surely people wouldn’t get arrested for addiction related issues. People wouldn’t be spending their lives in jail over drugs. The police would get people into treatment instead of placing them in prison. Every police officer would carry Narcan. The officers time would be spent providing hope and support instead of handcuffs that do nothing besides adding more stigma and guilt.

Everyone says Addiction is not a disease, its a choice. You have heard this argument, and even if you have never said it out loud, you have thought it. At least I have, and I am an addict

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Did you know that people with diabetes can relapse? They sure can. They stop following doctors orders by not checking their sugar and not eating properly. People with diabetes relapse all the time but doctors don’t shame them. They go out of their way to get that patient back on track. Why? Managing disease is hard. That includes heart disease. How many of you fail to take your blood pressure meds correctly? Are you following the diet that your doctor set out for you?

Let me guess you don’t think that heart disease and diabetes is anything like an addiction because addiction is a choice, right? Well isn’t most diabetes brought on by diet and lack of physical activity? Type 2 diabetes is caused by the choices that the patient made and continues to make. What about heart disease? Isn’t that often brought on by the same things?

Addiction is caused by using that first drug. Most of us made that same choice at one time or another. How many people can honestly say they have never had a drink, smoked a joint or taken a pain pill? If you didn’t get addicted then awesome for you. You are lucky. That means you don’t have the disease of addiction. See I know many addicts that can eat as many donuts as they want and their sugar won’t spike at all. That is awesome for them…that means they don’t have diabetes.

Cookies and fast food are causing Diabetes all over the world. The last time I checked cookies don’t force you to eat them, so the person with diabetes is making a choice, that led to their disease. I don’t know about you but not once when I was buying ice cream, and white bread did I worry that a police officer was going to pull me over and catch it on me. Why is that? If the argument is that addiction is a choice, then let’s declassify diabetes and heart “disease.”

So why do they call addiction a disease when they don’t believe that it is? Is it a new concept? No, it’s been classified as a disease since the 80’s. Maybe that is still too new; I don’t know. Maybe they are trying to train us into believing that it is a disease. I know what some of you are thinking. You think that calling addiction a disease is something that addicts want and you refuse to buy into that bull, right? I get it. I used opiates for twenty years, and I would laugh when people would tell me addiction was a disease until I listened to Dr. Ruth Potee giving her talk called Addiction is a Brain Disease. Dr. Potee breaks it down, and I found not only understanding of myself but peace knowing that I wasn’t just a bad person.

Please take the time to watch Dr. Ruth Potee explain exactly why addiction is a disease and ask why we aren’t treating it accordingly.

I never wanted to be an addict. When I had my first drink or drug, I planned on having fun like everyone else and not looking back. Something happen though, I felt for the first time happy and what I imagined normal was. Even though I wasn’t addicted that first time, I knew by the end of it that I wanted to feel it again. So I did, over and over until I had not only a mental addiction but a physical one.

So like Richard Jones said in the rant that inspired this post…Stop calling it a disease if you aren’t going to treat it like one. It’s almost as insulting as when you use words like junkie.It’s time to demand that addiction is treated as a disease. Just calling it a disease isn’t enough anymore.

Please follow Richard Jones. He runs the recovery and activist group called, Recovery Cartel on Facebook.

I wonder often if maintenance drugs saved me from heroin addiction. My story is a little different from most of the stories I have heard. I guess all of our stories are different when it comes down to it but here is a little of mine. Fifteen years of my twenty-year addiction to opiates was spent on either Methadone or Suboxone.

On my first trip to the Methadone Clinic in Southern Indiana, I traded a Loratab habit for Methadone. That’s the equivalent of trading a monkey on your back for King Kong. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When I got to the clinic no one told me that I would be addicted to this as well but if I am being truthful it wouldn’t have mattered if they had beat it into me. There was no way I wanted to continue hunting pills and I wanted to feel secure knowing I wasn’t breaking the law. The main thing though is that I did not want to be sick. I was scared to death of it. Makes no sense that someone terrified of a Loratab withdraws would start Methadone. The withdraw is ten times harder easy. There was no way for me to know this at the time. I soon found out though.

During that Fifteen years I relapsed several times, and each time I went out I moved up to the next level opiate. So after Loratabs, I went to Percocet. My relapses always happen because I would try to ween myself off of Methadone as fast as possible. The stigma that came along with the clinic was painful. I didn’t want to be a slave to anything. I was doomed to fail every time though.

So this is what my relapses looked like. This is the order of opiates I used. Each time you see a new drug that means a relapse.

Loratabs

Methadone

Percocet

Methadone

Oxy’s

Methadone

Opana

Methadone

Suboxone

Xanax was part of the mix the entire way except for the last few months of suboxone. That was only because my source was no longer able to get ahold of them any longer.

My family hated the idea of Methadone or Suboxone. As far as they are concerned I was still using just the same as if I were taking the pills. So I always hid the fact that I was on any maintenance drugs so I was still hiding and full of shame. There was no room for recovery when I couldn’t own the path that I was on.

In the end, I ended up being very resentful of the clinic. They mislead me to believe that Suboxone was not addictive. They swore that I would be able to just walk off of it whenever I was ready. As we all know now that is the farthest thing from the truth. To be fair I was told this when Suboxone first came out. Who knows maybe they honestly didn’t know. After I was on it for some time the Clinic told me that they were wrong and that I would have to ween down to come off of the drug.

I didn’t take the time to really think about what the clinic did for me because I was so focused on the drawbacks. As you see from the list above I never made to heroin. If it were not for the clinic I would have for sure. A few of the times I ended up back at the clinic it was because I was having trouble finding the drug that I wanted. What if someone had offered me heroin? I would have taken it. Probably after the Opana is when I would have eventually run into heroin. There were numerous times when I was just taking pills that I was afraid to go to sleep. I was mixing the Xanax with as many pills as I could get my hands on. Heroin would have killed me for sure.

The clinic allowed me to have years where I wasn’t moving in the circles of drug dealers or people buying on the streets. I may not have been in recovery but I wasn’t engaging in illegal activities and I was living my life. On Suboxone, I never felt high. I just didn’t feel sick. The clinic offered me counseling one a week which I took seriously. That ended up helping me in many ways too. If nothing else just for someone to talk to. Holding down a job was easy because I never had to call off so I could hunt down my daily fix. Being a functioning member of society was possible on the maintenance drugs.

What made me hate Methadone and Suboxone the most though was the withdraw. All I kept telling myself was what the hell was I thinking? I couldn’t handle a few days of this crap that is why I started the clinic. Now I was having to face months of it. Where I went wrong was how quickly I weened off. I have since had several friends that followed the clinics recommended detox and they claim to have felt little to no withdraw. My biggest advice is this if you are thinking of starting maintenance drugs.

If you are only taking Loratab don’t go to the clinic. Sit down and deal with the few days of being a little sick.

If you start the clinic don’t go higher than fifty and for suboxone don’t take more than 8. The higher you go the longer it will take to ween down and the more likely it will be that you decide to leave.

When you do decide to leave follow the clinic’s recommendations for lowering your dose.

If you love someone suffering from addiction and they have decided to take Methadone or Suboxone please don’t judge them. The worst thing you can do is to make them feel as though they have to hide things from you. As long as they are taking this medication they more than likely won’t be taking heroin…which means they will live. If we die we cannot recover. Please remember that.

If you just found out that someone in your life is in active addiction, here are the rules. NO sugar coating just laid out so you can see. If you can follow these standards the person with the disease of addiction has a better chance of finding recovery and you won’t be enabling their disease.

DON’T Confront the addict especially if they are still using.DON’T Waste energy trying analyzing your loved one, thinking you played a role. If you want to know why here it is…it’s a disease.DON’T Ever lose hope that they will heal from this addiction.DON’T take your loved one’s drug abuse and addiction personally

DO Take care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.

DO Trust your intuition.DO Face The FactsDO GO to Nar-Anon or a Family Support GroupDO Allow them to stumble

DO Tell your loved one that you love them. Tell them that you hate the drugs, You hate what those drugs have done to your loved one.

DO Educate yourself on their drug of choice.DO Seek help from people who have been here before, Social Media support groups as well as Naranon and Alanon

DO Let them face any consequences their addiction has or will cause, even jail, losing their job, getting evicted, electric turned off.

STOP Lying for them.STOP EnablingSTOP Giving them money

STOP BEING ASHAMED, IT’S A DISEASE.

STOP Bailing them out of jail.

STOP Trying to control themSTOP Trying to fix themSTOP Blaming yourself, it’s not your fault. It’s a disease.STOP Trying to find their “rock bottom.”STOP Believing the lies.STOP allowing them to manipulate you.STOP Telling them if they loved you they wouldn’t use drugs.

BEGIN: Conversation with your loved one. If they ask for money, give them a list of treatment options, churches that help with bills, the welfare information. Having tho face where the addiction has taken them could save their lives.

BEGIN: Looking into treatment options so when they are ready for help, you are ready as well. See what treatment looks like for you. What if anything will you be needed for? Funds, Rides?

Things to remember: People DO recover from this disease.

People DO recover from this disease.HELP is what you give someone who cannot do for themselves.

ENABLING is providing for someone who can take care of themselves.
You did not cause this; you cannot fix it, and you will never control it.

I KNOW I WILL BE JUMPING FROM ONE TO ANOTHER. I HOPE TO SEE YOU AROUND!! The order means nothing.

All of these resources are awesome.

Ok, I love @rjvieds work…what I can’t help it. Lol…enjoy

RJ Vied

RJ VIED is in long-term recovery. He is an Author, Father, Husband and Recovery Warrior. RJ travels across the Country spreading hope and fighting the stigma of addiction. He currently is doing a radio show Tuesday and Thursday nights at

Magnolia new beginnings – nonprofit – family support

Support for families struggling with the disease of Addiction, Substance Use Disorder. This is a NONPROFIT that was created by a mother who found herself alone and clueless of how to help save her child who was using heroin. This is an amazing group of mother and fathers that have some together to keep other families from going through the isolation and unknowing of discovering your child is addicted to heroin.

A Hangover Free Life

This British blog is run by Lou. Lou offers personal blog posts, how-tos, interviews, and workshops. This blog is an excellent resource for anyone living in recovery. Lou also includes an excellent section on mocktails, including in-depth recipes and photos.

Adam Sledd

Adam Sledd recovered from a substance use disorder. Adam was addicted for 27 years. Following this, he finally decided to get clean by entering a drug court program. Adam favours what he terms ‘self-directed, empowered recovery’ over the 12 step alternative.

Addiction Land

Addictionland is designed to help all types of addicts. The site includes recovery experts, addiction support resources, and various recovery paths. The main purpose of Addictionland is to offer addicts, in and out of recovery, a place to blog and gain free insight.

Addict Chick – Book & Recovery Blog Page – Facebook

At 34, Amanda Meredith had it all – A successful career, a home, a child, and everything that should have made her happy. She was also crazy in love; his name was Cage, and their love would become her first addiction—but not her last. Some would say that love destroyed her, but what she let ravage her mind, body, and soul had nothing to do with love and everything to do with a deep-seated need to destroy herself.

With the prick of a needle and a shot of methamphetamine, she lost everything- her child, her career, and she lost Cage. Homeless and alone on the streets of Dallas, she became a statistic. A broken nobody that had hit the gutter and licked it. Her story is not for the faint of heart. It is, however, an accurate account of what a life lived without an actual sense of self, without self-love, and addiction looks like.

Casey’s Law

If someone you love is struggling with the disease of addiction, Casey’s Law can help you get them the treatment they need. It is a law that allows family members and friends to petition the court to get the addict into court-ordered treatment without criminal punishment. This video features information on utilization of the law from the following individuals:

Barbara Cofer Stoefen

Barbara Cofer Stoefen’s website is for families who grieve a loved one gripped by the disease of addiction. Barbara’s daughter successfully navigated an addiction to crystal meth. Barbara’s writings detail her experiences with her daughter’s addiction and subsequent recovery.

Buy Buy Beer

Kristen started her blog in 2011 ago while newly sober and quickly discovered a supportive community and just how many ways there are to get and stay sober. These days she writes more about finding balance and celebrating

13. Buzzkill Pod

Buzzkill Pod is a podcast run by Paul. Paul has been sober for more than five years. Buzzkill Pod is about life through the eye’s of recovery. Paul comes from an AA background, but he respects all routes to sobriety.

Candace Plattor

This blog is by a registered clinical counselor with 20+ years experience. Candace has also struggled with her issues with addiction. She was diagnosed with Crones Disease at the age of 22. She was prescribed valium and codeine and later became addicted to these drugs. For many years she used these drugs. She also became addicted to cannabis. She’s been in recovery since 1987, and she uses the blog to offer inspiration and guidance for others.

Heroin is killing my town

Heroin is killing my town is a nonprofit organization owned and operated by the founder, Dina Favreau. HIKMT Has been instrumental in changing the laws in Massachusattes and Dina just got started.

This website is pretty new but it was already putting up high numbers and pumping out exceptional content. This site is ideal for the one still suffering, in recovery or for their family wanting to understand.

Chipur

Chipur is a blog for people who suffer with mood or anxiety disorders. Chipur is run by Bill White. Bill is a mental health professional and he’s recovered from what he describes as ‘decades of mood and anxiety torture’. He’s also been sober since 1984.

Drinking Diaries

Drinking to Distraction

This blog is run by Jenna Hollenstein. Jenna is a professional nutrition therapist. The blog includes personal stories, how-tos and podcast style interviews. Good information on different ‘holistic therapies’ and nutrition. Highly recommended.

Drug Class

About:

Drug Class is run by Rand Teed. Rand describes himself as a ‘nationally recognized leaders in the Drug and Alcohol Education and Prevention Field’. The main focus of the Drug Class Program is to help people better understand the nature of and problems associated with substance abuse.

Growing up Chaotic

This blog is run by Dawn Clancy. Dawn manages the blog as well as a popular podcast that provides a 360° view on all topics related to the addict’s or alcoholic’s family and friends, codependency, domestic violence, drugs and culture, mental health, recovery and siblings and addiction.

Hip Sobriety

The Hip Sobriety was formed in 2012 by Holly Glenn after hitting rock bottom. Holly was addicted to alcohol and cannabis. Holly uses the blog to discuss her individualized path of recovery. She believes sobriety isn’t just about quitting alcohol and drugs, but it’s about getting after your best life and having everything you ever dreamed of. It’s about living the way other people won’t live, so you can live the way most people can’t.

Fu@k heroin foundation

.If you or a loved one hurt those around you, if you or a loved one wake up with withdrawal symptoms, if you or a loved one’s life is unmanageable, you or a loved one may be suffering from heroin addiction.

Jagged Little Edges

Lorelie has been in recovery for more than 18 years.She is now an alcohol and drug counselor, as well as an author. Rozanno is passionate about helping others recover from the effects of addiction. Her blog aims to inspire addicts and their families to reach out for help.

Leaving AA

Life Corked

Life Corked is a blog written by Chenoa Woods. Chenoa turned to alcohol following the death of her mother. Chenoa’s blog reflects on her experiences with alcohol and subsequent recovery. Chenoa attributes her success to her relationship with God.

Living Without Alcohol

This blog is run by. Mrs D. Mrs. D is a New Zealand housewife who started anonymously blogging about her struggle with alcohol after realizing her drinking was out of control and she needed to stop. She feels that writing out her thoughts and feelings in the early days of sobriety was immensely strengthening, and the community of support that soon grew up around her blog meant. Mrs D was able to develop a robust and lasting recovery.. Mrs D is now over four years sober and continues to update her blog weekly with all the goings-on of her busy, domesticated, alcohol-free life.

Liv’s Recovery Kitchen

Liv’s Recovery Kitchen’s Mission is to provide a dedicated resource for all you need to know about good nutrition & wellness in recovery from addiction. Whether your goal is to lose weight, to feel more energized, or to learn how to really enjoy life in recovery, this is the place for you.

Mark Goodson

Mark Goodson offers a hodgepodge of poety, essays and creative non-fiction on addiction and recovery. Mark has been in clean for nine years. Mark’s blog aims to help and teach others who now face their own issues with addiction and recovery.

My Life As 3D

This blog is run by Dean Dauphinais. Dean dedicates the blog to breaking the stigma associated with addiction. The blog allows Dean a platform for thoughts on addiction. Dean is the Father of a Person in Long-Term Recovery from Addiction, a member of the Parent Support Network at the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, and a Lead Advocate for Heroes in Recovery.

One Crafty Mother

One Crafty Mother is written by Ellie Schoenberger. She is Founder of Crying Out Now, a blog where women tell their stories of addiction and recovery and offer each other support through a vibrant and growing community.

Parent Pathway

Parent Pathway aims to support parents who’s children are affected by addiction. Parent Pathway was created for parents, by parents, to provide a place to find peace of mind at a time when their world feels like it is falling apart. Parent Pathway offers help for parents of addicts and alcoholics through information, support, community, and hope.

Parents of an Addict

This blog is run by Ron and Darlene. Ron and Darlene are parents of a former addict now living in recovery. However, Ron and Darlene continue to share their experiences with the public through this fantastic blog. This blog is particularly useful for parents or over loved ones of an addiction/recovered addiction. This blog is an excellent companion to an Alanon program.

Quit & Recovery Registry

Launched in September 2011, the International Quit & Recovery Registry seeks to understand what allows people to succeed in overcoming addiction, whether to tobacco, alcohol, drugs, or harmful behaviors. Led by Warren Bickel, PhD, a world-renowned addiction researcher, and director of the Addiction Recovery Research Center of the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute, the registry taps the insights and experiences of people who are in recovery from an addiction.

Recovery Reflections

Sandy Swenson

Sandy Swenson writes this blog from the perspective of a mother of an addicted child. Through her blog, Sandy is a voice for parents–particularly mothers–of children suffering from the disease of addiction, putting their thoughts and feeling into words.

Shatter Proof

She Recovers

This blog is run by Dawn Nickel, Taryn Strong and Sharonlee Latham and Asley Prosser. She Recovers is dedicated to women now living in recovery. This blog is an excellent resource for women suffering from addiction or now living in recovery, and the blog is one I often recommend to female patients of ours at Ocean Recovery Centre.

Since Right Now

About:

This blog is run by Chris Aguirre. Chris is a former alcoholic now living in recovery. Chris offers many resources, how-tos, personal stories and podcasts. Highly recommended!

Smyls

Beth’s main passion is Recovery Coaching, specialising in helping people to rebuild their lives and achieve success after problems such as addiction, stress, life changes, illness, divorce, life transitions and mental health disorders.

Sober Courage

Sober Courage is run by Magz Shores. Sober Courage is somewhere for people to get together and celebrate life in recovery. This blog’s main focus is on early sobriety, surviving Friday-Nights sober, sober parenting, and dealing with the social stigma.

Sober Senorita

This blog is run by Kelly Fitzgerald. Kelly is an advocate for breaking the stigma of addiction. Striving to fit in with her peers and living the party girl lifestyle, Kelly quickly discovered her drinking habits were much more extreme than others, with devastating consequences. After escaping to Cancun, Mexico and living abroad for five years, she got sober in a spring breakers’ paradise. Today, she lives in Florida and writes about living life as a 20-something sober girl.

Sober Unicorn

Sober Unicorn is run by Cristina. Cristina has been sober since 2015. Sober Unicorn is an outlet for Cristina to be completely transparent and genuine. In this blog, Christina details her recovery experiences, and reveals her failures and awakenings as stepping stones so that others may know the grace that has found her.

The Discovering Alcoholic

The Discovering Alcoholic is run by Gavin. Gavin is a recovering alcoholic since 1994. He started the blog back in 2007 and offers the blog as an attempt to lessen the stigma associated with addiction and to encourage others to share in this confidence or feel more inclined to seek help.

The Hurt Healer

The Hurt Healer is run by Carolyn Hughes. Carolyn is a freelance writing specialising in addiction and mental health issues. She overcame her own alcoholism and depression in the past. The Hurt Healer has a thriving community of worldwide members who want to make their own journey to emotional wholeness and empowered living. The blog reflects Carolyn’s passion to inspire others to live their lives as the person they were meant to be.

The Immortal Alcoholic

The Immortal Alcoholic is run by Linda Doyne. This blog details the effect of being a non-alcoholic person married to an end-stage alcoholic. This blog also provides useful insight and facts concerning the complexities of conflicting information.

The Spirit of Recovery

The Spirit of Recovery is a blog written by Ron, a 57-year-old recovered alcoholic. Ron attributes his success in recovery to AA. Ron’s blog aims to help those who still suffer in the problem or struggle to maintain a fragile sobriety.

The Unruffled

The Unruffled is run by Sondra. Sondra has been in recovery since 2014. Sondra’s blog details her experiences in recovery. Sondra helps people fill the void created when drugs and alcohol are abandoned.

Veronica Valli

Veronica has worked as an therapist specialising in addiction for over 10 years; her experience includes working with young people in the criminal justice system, primary care adult treatment, outreach services and in private practice. Veronica has also worked in local government (in the UK) delivering the local drug and alcohol strategy.

What Me Sober

What Me Sober is run by Bill. Bill has been a recovering alcoholic since 1989. Bill uses his blog to write about life in recovery. Bill started off blogging about Buddhism, but he now focuses on recovery.

William White Papers

This site contains the full text of more than 300 articles, 8 monographs, 30+ recovery tools, 9 book chapters, 3 books, and links to an additional 15 books written by William White and co-authors over the past four decades as well as more than 100 interviews with addiction treatment and recovery leaders.

I am not your child, or spouse, or friend. I’ve changed. I don’t belong to you anymore. I don’t care about you. Not in the way you want me too. I care about getting high. I WANT to get high. I will do ANYTHING to get high. I LOVE getting high. I NEED to get high.. and I will step over you to do it. When I look at you, I don’t see YOU. I see a means to an end. You have money. I want it. End of story. I don’t care if you can’t pay the rent. I don’t care if you need groceries. I don’t care if you promised you wouldn’t give me money again. I don’t care if you lie to Dad. I don’t care if you’re broke. Sell your rings, take a loan, sell your electronics, max out your credit cards, borrow the money from someone else, because if you don’t, I will STEAL it. I WILL find a way to get HIGH. You think you can CHANGE me, or SAVE me. You are WRONG! Something cold and dead slithers within me. I no longer respond to love or truth. You can CRY all you want. I don’t care. I have no integrity or values. My morals are a thing of the past. I will say anything, do anything, and hurt anyone, to get my next FIX.

Although I may play the game with you, make no mistake. I don’t play it because I LOVE you, I play it because I want my DOPE. I will say whatever you want to hear, I will promise you the world, I will look you in the eyes, and I WILL break your heart. Over and over again. I don’t have a heart anymore. I have HUNGER. It’s calculating and manipulative, and it OWNS me.

In a strange way, you’re thankful for this hunger. For when I feel it coming on, I find you, quick! Then when I’ve gotten what I want from you, I leave. You’re anxious without me. You offer to buy my food or pay my rent. You always GIVE me something.

By now, you’re NEED almost as great as mine.

I can’t stay SICK without you. You can’t breathe without ME.

You think you’re helping me. You believe you’re making a difference, but what you’re helping… is my ADDICTION.

I won’t tell you this, but you know it, deep down.

If we keep going like this, one or both of us will die. Me from an overdose that you paid for, and you from a heart attack, or stroke.

You’ll wait YEARS for me to change, or see the light, and I take full advantage of this.

You keep my secrets and protect my lies. You clean up my messes and bail me out. You love me to the exclusion of EVERYONE else.

You are bitter and resentful. You hide from your friends and isolate. You HATE.

Your world revolves around one thing only… ME.

But will your LOVE ever become greater than your FEAR? Would you be strong enough to reach out for help? Will you learn to say NO? Will you allow me to experience the consequences of my actions? Will you LOVE me enough to feel your discomfort and stop enabling my addiction?

I lay trapped with within the confines of this cold dark, serpent – addiction, and I am… dying.”