Seems like the decisions in this relationship are not mutual ones which, for me, means being engaged for five years is a good thing. Communication, desires, and tolerances really need to be discussed because, from my viewpoint, the relationship between the two main partners isn't anywhere near as healthy as it should be. I believe you need to completely open up to your fiancee about your feelings, the live-in needs to be given a definite time to move out (because even if the relationship is okay to continue between your fiancee and the trans, you obviously need your space and you need to be comfortable in your space), and you and your fiancee should consider counseling to build communication, emotional balance, and compromise. Just my two cents...