if to be completely open, i and my future husband haven't yet read and searched the info about how shoud gay couples adopt kids. i mean i am not amiliar with al the aspects o the procedure, but i guess it is not too diferent from the adoption ssystem o hetero couples.

Ben, I wonder why would you want to know her on the first place? There were several topics on this site and on several others about the role of the surrogate mothers after the child was born. And people came to conclusion that their involvement in the life of baby is being reduced to zero. Are you simply curious to know about what drives them and what is happening in their heads? Well, as I was saying, I did have communication with the woman, that is a surrogate mother for a couple of my friends, and I cannot say it was a completely pleasant experience, at least I figured out some things that I suspected.

This topic is about the adoption, why would you both write here about surrogacy? there are other topics to discuss this matter. there was a time when we were thinking about the adoption. Now were are as far from that decision as we can be. I must confess, my fiance was the person, who convinced me that we have to take a longer, and harder path to achieve our goal. I want my child to be part of me, or of my fiance. Adoption is a very noble step, but when I am thinking about having a family, nobility is not the first thing that does concern me. Besides, I live in Italy. And in my country only the step-parent adoption is legal.

Andreas_Maroon wrote:This topic is about the adoption, why would you both write here about surrogacy?

We got carried away, sorry) I understand what you mean by saying that you want the kid to be the part of you in all ways, to be related with him by the blood as well. And I am thinking, that if we would have the choice, we would have the second kid trough the surrogacy. I know that Mike, my husband, would want that. But we have other circumstances, and soon he is going to South America. Perhaps, in several months we will already have a quite probable option of the kid for the adoption. I am not disappointed with that, by no means. And i hope that my husband feels the same.

So, did the author of the post adopted a child already? Or he simply disappeared?:) I was wondering about the adoption for gays here in LA. And it appeared to be this is legal here. That is nice.. So I went to one of the adoption centres, that is something like the government agency, that is connected to all the orphanages in the country. They have a huge catalogues of children for the adoption there. I just had a look, out of curiosity. Actually it seemed to me that the woman who was speaking with me there looked at me with disapproval. Oh well, being a gay is still something wild for some people)

this is the problem with this forum. someone asks the question, or raises some interesting question. And then the person simply disappears. Seems that it was more necessary to ask the question - getting the answer was not that important) I know that it is a woman trait in most cases. Maybe there are some girls here on the forum, disguised as guys?:)) So you say that you were met with disapproval in the adoption center? In LA? That is strange to me. Though... the combination of such things as gays and LA reminds me of one movie... It was called "Falling down". You know what I mean?:)

I think that Spain, where I am from, is the best country in Europe for the kids adoption. Especially for the gays. Here the gay marriages were allowed for the longest time in the Europe, if I am not mistaken. And here both the step parent and joint adoption is allowed. i do have gay friends, who have the adopted kids, both boys and girls (the adoption here is a pretty popular option for gays). Great kids, they all seem to be very happy. They all are looking just the way the real family must look, in my opinion). I think that it would be a nice option for the foreigners to adopt kids here as well!

V_Vegas wrote:I think that Spain, where I am from, is the best country in Europe for the kids adoption.

I'll keep that in mind. We are going to have the first kid trough the surrogacy - we are already working with the agency on that) But we already started to consider about having another child. I think that adoption would be a great option. speaking honestly,I did not discuss this with my fiancé, but since I've heard similar things from him, I think that he might agree with me on this point. I would like that idea not because I feel ashamed not doing that, as some people wrote here. I just do feel the real compassion to the kids that were abandoned. There must be no forgotten and abandoned kids in this world.

Ok, since you mentioned this - i am going to keep that in mind as well. I do not really know, if my husband find what we are looking for in Latin America. If he will not - perhaps we will consider to adopt someone from a country that is closer to us. Are there so many orphans in Spain? I have been there several times. One of the things that impressed me the most - is the way people treat kids there. If some adult sees the kid - he forgets all the bad things he have had during the day, starts to smile and communicate with the kid. In GB we are a little bit more restrained about this)

Ben_Roar wrote:Ok, since you mentioned this - i am going to keep that in mind as well.

It would be a much better option for bot of you, guys, in my opinion. Your kid will still talk spanish when he grows up)) Did your husband already left to that trip? Did not you both reconsider about looking for the adoption so far away? I was in the adoption center recently.. I've seen some kinds of the age about 4 years old... I really wish they would all found their families.. It is so sad to see such cute boys and girls are alone.. Though they do not seem to be sad about that) They do have each other, they have a really good treatment and nutrition. Though I am sure I would make it better)