Reflection of self through coaching by Patrick Ng (guest)

In coaching, we make use of a lot of entry points. We're listening, asking questioning, finding and engaging with passions, and when they all come together it's just like you're looking at breath. It’s challenging to fully identify all the ingredients and processes that are required to be combined together in that moment, and that is what makes it challenging to master the method. Yet we still work towards mastering it, because no one can really tell us exactly what it is, but we have tasted it, felt it, and experienced it.

Even now, in coaching, coaches cannot exactly tell you what it is, but they have experienced it. For example, some of my student in coaching, they asked me, "How can I be a good coach, and how can I really master coaching?" Then I tell them, "You need to practice. You need to really experience the good and bad times." Sometimes you do some really bad coaching. It's good. Sometimes you do some really good coaching. It's also good. Both good and bad coaching can happen together in one conversation, this is what I believe makes your coaching become more advanced.

Interconnecting dimensions: We seek something, then where are we heading? Where is this coming from?

For me, everything is interconnected and this drives my approach to coaching. It’s part of who I am, and is an extension of my philosophy that has emerged into a recognisable form called coaching. I believe everything in the world follows the logic of the universe as its displayed and it may also be all a reflection of our self. Something that I do today, something I say today, a drawing by me, a coaching by me, it's all a reflection of me, something about me, inside me, giving time. At the same time, I know that it cannot be separated from the physical and spiritual universe. This philosophy is what drives me and my portfolio of practices, and some might even recognise this as Tao.

Examples of interconnectedness

What I have shared may seem abstract to some, for others it may connect with their experiences, for me it expresses how I observe my experiences of how I connect with myself, others and the universe. Let me share with some examples.

Every morning I do a morning meditation, and this helps me to connect with myself and the universe. As I listen clarity forms and sends out focussed intentions. How I receive them tends to come in abundance. For example, sometimes when I go in to find something like a book, the book just pop up in one of the bookshelves in one of the bookstores or the library, and that book is just getting the right message at that why moment for me.

I extend this intention to the clients who hire me. When I am working with them they are also connected to these greater resources. What do I mean by this? To me, it is not a coincidence that my clients find something that exactly answers what they are asking for. What I see actually happening is when I throw a question to someone I am asking both the client and the universe because they are also connecting me to other resources, whether through a book, through a person or maybe through some inquiries, by simply asking the answer eventually makes its way back to me.

Other cases that can show that kind of connectedness is when something has happened to my clients, or some of my friends, I can quickly, though not always, feel it. Because I'm also an engineer I'm can also be quite sceptical of what I’ve felt intuitively. I’d ask myself, "Maybe, my imagination?" This drives me to check these kinds of signals and often something has really happened to that person.

Let me share one final example. I was invited to deliver a training program for the sales division of z company. I rarely train sales people because they tend to challenge some of my core beliefs. Despite this perception, I decided to attend the meeting because my agent coaxed me as he genuinely believed that I would have a very good time with them. I still held some healthy skepticism. However, when I had a personal meeting with the HR representative, I noticed a very strange feeling inside myself. I felt very happy. I felt very light and in my internal dialogue with myself a message emerged, "You will have a great time with this sales team. It’ll be a feeling that’s both happy and light." A co-designing space was being created right then, and I relaxed and enjoyed it with other experienced professionals. Then about two weeks later, I was invited back to meet with the sales team I would be training. My impression, similar to when I met with their HR, was that I will actually enjoy delivering those two days of training.

Through all the examples I’ve shared, notice that I do not see something or someone as real but I feel something that I believe is real. This is where all of the interconnectedness is happening.

Observing advances my quality of coaching: Knowing myself

Everything starts with observing. When I observe the world, I believe everything comes from the mind. This richness of the mind, I hope, is coming from something deep inside the self.

By reflecting on my observations and making sense of all of my different and rich experiences, it has shaped me to be who I am today. In the past, I was an engineer and my soul then was limited. What I mean by that is I only saw disciplines as being separate and independent to each other i.e. "This is physics. This is science. Okay, this is nature," Yet my training from engineering has always taught me to be curious and to not blindly believe. I could apply that to understanding myself, or where I have come to in my spiritual study, I have come to realise that some of the equations derived in physics, for example, also reflects the spiritual world. We are simply following the logics of the universe.

This is why I believe that coaching and physics are along the same continuum because it’s all part of nature. Having this position that we’re all interconnected and naturally being curious allows me to continually advance my approach to coaching because there is still so much to learn about myself, others and the universe.

Patrick is an executive coach trained with Coachville, one of the largest Coaching Training Organization in US. He is also the Certified Consultant in MBTI, Facet 5 and LEA360 (Leadership Effective Analysis).

He coaches senior executives, business owners and professionals in the area of leadership style development, career transition, personal branding and communication. He also provide corporate training in the area of team-building, leadership style development and mindfulness. He worked with clients from Financial, IT & Manufacturing Industry, Media, Property Development and Engineering.

Patrick’s coaching approach is direct and reflective, he has supported his clients in achieving life and career transformation from his inside out approach.