I've been thinking a lot lately about how to show people that you care about them! I've been thinking about this because 1) i've been making all sorts of new friends, 2) i've tried to keep in touch with all of my old friends, 3) i've heard more than one tirade about how technology is ruining our communication and interpersonal skills, to which i agree, just not as vehemently as others do! The other day i came across this list online, of ways to show people you care about them without spending money or going through elaborate charades- just those simple gestures that have always been the real way we show admiration and affection! Try one today, will you?Here's the list:1. Give money you can spare to someone who needs it and then pretend you never had it.2. Let someone tell a story without feeling the need to one-up them or tell your own.3. Let someone vent, even if you can't offer a solution, just be an ear without considering how well they listened to you last week.4. Help someone who is struggling with difficult feelings by admitting you've felt the same thing without considering whether they'd be as open with you.5. Ask, "What can i do to help you today?" and then let it go after following through.6. Tell someone how you feel about them, even if it makes you feel vulnerable, just to let them know they are loved and not alone.7.Apologize when you've acted selfishly, even if you don't like feeling wrong, because it will remind the other person that they deserve to be treated with respect.8. Let someone else educate you, even if you're tempted to stay close-minded, because you value their knowledge and appreciate their willingness to share it.9. Forgive someone who wronged you because you have compassion for them, not because you know they'll owe you one afterward.10. Hold someone's hand when they feel vulnerable to let them know you haven't judged them.11. Give your full attention to the person in front of you when you're tempted to let your thoughts wander to show them their words are valuable.12. Assume the best when you're tempted to suspect someone for no valid reason- even if they haven't always given you the benefit of the doubt.13. Accompany someone to an appointment or drive them to an interview when they need support just to help them feel strong.14. Change your plans for someone you love if yours weren't too important without questioning whether they would do the same for you.15. Teach someone how to do something without taking a superior position because they've likely taught you many things, whether they were obvious or not.16. Leave a thoughtful comment on someone's blog, not to build your readership but rather to show them that they affected you.17. Tell someone you believe in their potential, even if they haven't always shown you the same support.18. Say no when it would make you feel good to say yes, because sometimes being kind means pushing someone to step up and try harder.19. Tell someone you know they meant well instead of using mistakes as an opportunity to manipulate their guilt.20. ....How do you give just to show you care?http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-ways-to-give-without-expectations/

Sunday, June 13, 2010

my grandma, a mother, a wife, a woman people named their children after, a girl who hung up on a boy, who was trying to ask her out, because he was asking too many dumb questions, a Ricks college alumni, the woman who thought that women should wear dresses to show that they were ladies, a woman who wanted to sock her annoying roommate in the face, a favorite to all boys under the age of 5, a woman who knew how to follow the Spirit, who fell in love with Raymond and mistakenly thought she wasn't good enough for him, a woman who mothered 9 of her own children and was a light to so many more, whose favorite color was pink, who helped me make cookies, always sent me home with a treat, a woman who called me beautiful when i was 14 and i didn't believe it unless she was the one who said it, a woman i strive to emulate

i have been wanting to do this for quite some time, but today i finally sat down with my grandma's life story and read through her entries. she is the woman that i try and model my life after, a woman i can only hope to be, and at this time in my life when i'm trying to decide the next big step...i knew that i needed to learn from my grandma and remember her example. The entries i read today are mostly from her years at Ricks College, which i absolutely loved reading! I felt that i related to her experiences so much more after having gone there myself- it was remarkable! the more that i read, the more i realized how similar i am to her!

Example #1- when Carol was at college, this annoying boy called her up to ask her to go to a dance. he just kept talking and asking her dumb questions, and she had just been heading out the door to go to class. He was absolutely wasting her time and she had no interest in going out with him, so she hung up the phone and went to class! when i read that story to my mom, she said "That sounds like you!" and it absolutely does! I see my grandma as this amazing woman, but even she could turn down a boy and feel completely and entirely guilt free afterwards!

Example #2- when Carol was at college, she had a roommate that drove her absolutely bonkers! this girl was so emotional, rude, selfish and all around annoying! this roommate had made dinner one night, and Carol had not liked it so she hadn't eaten very much, to which her roommate freaked out! Carol wanted to punch her right in her lousy face, but didn't, even though she really wanted to! Oh my heck, this almost exactly same thing happened with me and a very unsavory roommate of mine! and i didn't sock her in the face either!

Example #3- she loved Ricks College and i loved BYU-Idaho! i think you can say that's the same thing!

Example #4- Carol was in charge of the finances for her apartment (which is nothing like me, people shouldn't put me in charge of money), so she bought the groceries for her apartment every week. One day, while going grocery shopping, she says, "Went to go buy groceries and bought some new high heeled shoes too"! Love it, wouldn't and haven't i done the exact same thing!? Every time i would go to Walmart in Rexburg, i'd become distracted by the Payless shoes right next door! maybe my urge to shop is genetic!

Example #5- Carol's first semester was filled with wonderful roommates! They would stay up late at night doing all sorts of things college girls do when they should be sleeping! My favorite is the entry when she said they came home and made fudge and stayed up until 1:30! How often can i say the same thing? Can you say fudge nuggets ladies!?

These are just little stories that mean the world to me because maybe it means that if i can be so similar to her in these ways, maybe there's still hope for me to someday be the woman that she was! My grandma died right before my 16th birthday, and as her oldest grandchild, I remember her the most, but I don't remember everything. I wish that all of those moments were written down, so i could keep reading them, keep remembering them, i wish that there were pages and pages more to read. maybe then i could figure out how she became the woman she is, so maybe, i could carry on that legacy, her legacy- a woman so revered by those who knew her, and so admired for her service and love, that she was spoken of as near perfection at the end of her life. I don't know how to accomplish such a task, but i know she's the woman i love and the kind of woman i want to be like someday

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

My very dear best friend Shan'tel is visiting tonight, and i could not be happier! we realized that it's been a year since we have seen each other- A YEAR! that is too long for best friends not to see each other! We had a good night talking and reminiscing, good girl talk, while Andy sat their and read a book! Thanks Andy, for letting us two girls talk and for being a good sport while we did! You're an awesome guy for bringing my best friend to see me AND letting us talk all night!

While we were talking, we got on the heated topic of The Sock! There is a big story behind The Sock! When Shanny and i were roommates in Carriage House, we had our own washer and dryer in our apartment, which is a very nice feature! (I recommend it to all college students, unless you're a big fan of quarters!) With your own washer and dryer, you get rid of those annoying inconveniences like not having enough quarters, sitting around waiting to change the loads, walking up and down stairs and outside in the snow, losing clothes, you know all those obnoxious features of a laundromat. Our in-home laundromat afforded us many conveniences and even some extras! On more than one occasion, we found bonus clothes in our dryer-underwear and socks to name a few! No one would ever claim the extra clothes... so they usually ended up in someone's drawer, and when that person discovered the article of clothing they passed it along to someone else's drawer, only to continue the game of pass the unclaimed sock to all the roommates! Shan'tel and i were some of the main players in this game, and we passed around a white and gray sock, this white and gray sock!

We have been playing this game for quite a few years! As you can see, this is Shan'tel's sock! but for some reason, she won't keep it! ;) We have been passing around this sock ever since then! Every time that we see each other, this sock seems to change hands! It's a little game that probably will not end until one of us dies! The last time I had it was a year ago in April- I had the sock when i went to go visit Shan'tel before her wedding. I was dang sneaky and hid that sock in her room someplace i knew she wouldn't look until she cleaned out her room before her wedding! Sure enough, she didn't find it until after i left! The next time i saw it was her wedding day! Aunt Jessica was given the task of getting that nasty sock back to me, but she failed royally! I found it soon after it was passed back to me...which gave me opportunity to pass it right back, stuffed in someone's wedding gift! Thankfully i haven't seen it for a year! And then last week, Shan'tel broke the rules and mailed me the blasted sock! YOU'RE A RULE BREAKER! The rule has always been that you have to change the sock in person! The only reason i'm letting it slide is because you came to see me! and the only reason that i didn't pass it back to you was because i needed a picture of it for this post...and because i'm a good friend, and because i have kind of missed it! but don't get me wrong, you will get that sock back soon Shan'tel Christensen!

morale of this story- love the sock, love Shan'tel, love when Shan'tel has the sock!