Friday, May 14, 2010

No music this week's ep. Felt it would compete too much with the clattery-sounding interviews. Opening jam is by J Sargent. Sent in all sortsa' unsolicited and now look...He's reached the pinnacle of his career. Pics #1 & #2 are obviously Dennis's magazine stand. #3 & #4-Ira's pornmobile. #5-Elvis lookin' dude.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

MajorWally's comment, to me, reads as: "Come on man, I wanted more" which is nice to hear IF it's a sincere compliment. However, his phrasing leads me to believe that this isn't exactly the sentiment. Instead, (and yes, I know I'm paranoid at times) it appears to imply that I cut the episode into two parts due to simple laze or indifference which is hardly the case. Please, read on.

If Aesop was pretentious, had lousy punctuation, and internet access... this would be his lost fable.

Once there was a man with oversized genitalia who liked to garden. His friend, a wealthy mo-fo, owned a plot of land twenty minutes from the Gardener's home and one day said 'have at it dude, plant yourself a garden on my dime.I promise, it'll make ya' happier'.

The Gardener thought it wise to seize the opportunity but couldn't go it alone so he called a friend who refused to help plant half the shit the Gardener wanted to, but possessed some essential tools for gardening. Then he called another friend from a nearby village who was so-so with the technical aspects of gardening but had an awesomely fucked-up accent that was fun to rip on.

So, by no one's request, and with his friend's blessing(as long as a small section of the garden was reserved for a certain psychoactive plant), the Gardener began traveling the twenty minutes each way to his friend's land to plant flowers with his two buddies once a week.

He did this not only because he wanted to, but also thought the villagers would be into it.

The Gardener understood by the end of the week all the villagers would have seen the flowers and he knew he had to replace all the shit he just planted or the landscape would quickly become boring and the villagers would ditch him and his gay-ass garden pronto.

After the wealthy friend pimped the garden hardcore, the villagers took notice. Most were appreciative for this unrequested and free-gratis(Swearengen shout-out!) nicety, so they left notes on the community bulletin board for the gardener and his crew telling them so.

What a very small minority of the villagers didn't consider was; traveling and planting accounted for 2-3 hours of the process. In addition, the gardener had to choose what flowers he thought he, his posse and the villagers would like most then prune and trim that shit which took another 10-12 hours and just when one garden was finished, work had to begin on the next. Consistency was the name of the game.

Despite taking on easily 12-15 hours of uncompensated work each week, the Gardener was more than happy to oblige since 99% of the villagers seemed to enjoy the fruits of his labor. On top of it all, the quality of the wealthy man's strain was increasing so no complaints there except the guy without the awesomely fucked-up accent acted like that section of the garden was fertilized nuclear waste and bitched about it ad nauseum.

One day while checking out the community board he found a note from MajorWally. This particular villager fell into the 1% category. You know, the complainers/haters/trolls. MajorWally dropped this line to inform the Gardener that his efforts that particular week were inadequate.

In his younger days the Gardener might have told MajorWally to go fuck himself and allowed the little ingrate to spoil his mood. Thankfully, the Gardener has that aforementioned assistant who taught him a little something about not sweating the small stuff. More importantly, there are a boatload of villagers who were satisfied, complimentary, and looked forward to the following week's garden.

And that's what keeps this Gardener going. The 99% of villagers who didn't write that goddamn note. The villagers who either say thanks, give constructive criticism or say nothing at all. Because shit man, if you like it that much and it's free...what's to grouse about?

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Since people (including myself) like pop culture so much, here's the abridged version. Doesn't fit EXACTLY but captures the feeling.

"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of freedom I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way."