The 2011 U.S. Open kicks off on Thursday June 16th and Tiger Woods will not be in the field of participants. That is bad news for the PGA because when he doesn’t play. TV ratings are down 50% on average. They should get his ex wife, I heard she can swing a club. Granted it was at a person, but imagine the damage she could do to a ball. The PGA would like to encourage you to still watch because Tiger isn’t the only fun thing they have. This weekend you can still see the 2011 Master’s winner Charl Schwartzel and his crazy horse mouth. So worth it. ESPN stated that on the bright side, with Tiger out, anybody can win… Most likely it’ll be a white guy though. Which one? Does it really matter?

A suicidal gunman shot and killed a pastor in an Illinois church on Sunday morning before pulling out a knife and stabbing himself when the gun jammed, police said.
"Some parishioners tackled him and held him on the floor," Illinois state police spokesman Ralph Timmins said.
"Two subjects received knife injuries during the restriction of the subject and were treated at hospital."
Those injuries were not life-threatening, Timmins said.
Police have not yet determined what relationship, if any, the gunman had to the pastor. He was not an active member of the church and does not appear to have a criminal record or history of mental illness.
The gunman, who has not been identified, walked down the center aisle of First Baptist Church in Maryville, Illinois at about 8:15 am (1315 GMT.)
He exchanged a few words with head pastor Fred Winters and then fired four shots with a .45 caliber handgun.
The first shot hit the pastor's bible and "exploded the top of the bible into what many in the congrega

WHEN YOU SHOULD NEVER FART:1. Inside a crowded Lift.2. Inside a public library.3. On a crowded train.4. Whilst giving a speech.5. In Church.6. Whilst on a date.7. In a packed lecture theatre.8. In your office.9. At a cinema.10. In a walk-in freezer - itll linger a while11. In a ticket line.13. On an airplane.14. During confession15. In the bed, whilst feeling frisky.16. In bed when youre feeling frisky17. While fighting fire in a burning building19. In a patrol car for a minor violationWHEN TO FART:1. Bosses office as you are about to leave. - best to make sure its silent but violent.2. In a bathroom.3. In the cashiers line - its bound to speed things up.4. The empty elevator before you get off.5. Beside an occupied dressing room - no doubt itll quickly become unnocupied.6. Your co-workers cubicle at the office.7. When deep sea diving.8. Back seat of the Police Mobile after being arrested.9. In your car if youve been carjacked.10. During a pie ea