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Snow skiing can be a dangerous activity once you get past the bunny hill. It can be even more dangerous if you try to go snow skiing with a Rabid Deer.

Speaking of bunny hills, after exhaustive research here at Rabid Outdoors headquarters, we still don’t know where the name originated. There seems to be two lines of thought. Either it was named for the small hill a bunny creates when it digs a hole or it’s named for novice female skiers. Since we like to make things up here at Rabid Outdoors, we’ll just say it’s called that because it’s as soft and cuddly as a bunny.

But we digress from our important public service message.

It’s a well-known fact, at least here at Rabid Outdoors that Rabid Deer have been trying to learn how to ski ever since Scandinavians on skis started shooting at them centuries ago. It’s just sad that in all that time, a Rabid Deer still can’t ski. But we’ll tell you why and why you should never, that is never, never, never go skiing with a Rabid Deer.

A Rabid Deer never has any money for the lift tickets.

You’ll never convince a Rabid Deer it should advance beyond the bunny slope.

Rabid Deer are notorious for never having the correct equipment and then you have to loan them something, or worse, pay to rent it.

While Rabid Deer never seem bothered by the cold, they always want to go back to the lodge for hot cocoa.

A Rabid Deer always seems to have a bottle of bourbon, which explains the desire for cocoa.

A Rabid Deer will always shout insults at the St. Bernard, who then attacks you.

Rabid Deer are terrible at tow lines because they don’t have opposable thumbs.

Your ski sweater or jacket will always get ripped because a Rabid Deer can’t keep its antlers to itself.

Rabid Deer cannot be counted on to help in an emergency. They just go all spastic on you.

A Rabid Deer wiping out on the slopes is one of the most horrible events you’ll ever witness.

At Rabid Outdoors, we hope this information is helpful for you as your attempt to enjoy the great outdoors this winter. For all of our rabidly important messages, just go to our blog archive.

It’s got to be the c-c-c-cold that makes seemingly sane human beings engage in some of the weirdest activities you can find. Apparently the part of their brain that warns their body of danger freezes and the result is massive bruising and multiple fractures.
At Rabid Outdoors we’re all for it. As we [...]

So far, 2011-12 is shaping up as the hunting season of “dogs strike back” or “put a puppy behind the trigger.”
There have been two instances of dogs shooting their owners – so far. Now one instance of a dog shooting its owner is a rarity. Something Rabid Outdoorsmen can scratch their heads over [...]

Hunters are constantly looking for the perfect feed to lure a deer into the scope of their rifle and many claim to have that perfect feed.
The Rabid Deer isn’t crazy about the names of some of these so-called perfect feeds. While “Feeding Frenzy” sounds kind of fun, it’s obvious what [...]

You did it. You caught a Rabid Fish. Against all odds, you got it into the boat and put it on ice. Now you have to decide: Do you really want to mount a Rabid Fish on your wall?
In our continuing efforts to educate Rabid Outdoorsman about the perils of the great [...]

The Rabid Deer was deep in the woods when it heard the crackling sound of clumsy feet walking on dried leaves. No forest creature could make that sound. It could only mean one thing. The hunters had returned.
Just after the air begins to cool and his hindquarters begin to twitch, the Rabid Deer knows [...]

His total lack of driving ability should be an immediate tip off to why you should never go mud bogging with a Rabid Deer.
But we know you’re living the Rabid Deer life. You have to try new experiences. You want to see new sights and sounds. You want to go mud bogging with a [...]

You’re probably thinking “why would I want to catch a rabid fish?”
Well, because it’s there. Why else?
You’ve seen video of guys trying to climb Mt. Everest. They freeze their butts off and come close to death. Who doesn’t like a little near-death experience every once in a while.
Like mountain climbing, catching a [...]

Here at Rabid Outdoors, we know sometimes you forget how you’re supposed to act.
For example, when you come across a rabid deer in the woods, you don’t try to pet him.
While that may seem obvious, here are some other actions that would be best to avoid in your rabid deer encounter.
Do not call the deer [...]

On the Seven Seas, the lakes and streams, there are so many phenomena that can only be explained as the work of a Rabid Fish.
Take the puffer fish. Please, We don’t want it. If another fish tries to eat it, it blows up and chokes it. If a puffer fish does get swallowed, it is [...]