Question:

I think spanking a 14 year old young man is unreasonable and will lead to more aggression.† My parents spanked me with the belt and left bruises.† It left scars on my soul and was not focused on loving correction.

I am very conservative in my theology and think this Scripture did mean spanking when younger and very sparingly, but the "rod" as in a staff of loving guidance and direction, not a stick to beat a kid.†

Please consider teaching that spanking is a very last resort over loving, calm, consequence oriented parenting.† Most spankings are not used appropriately and the bible quote is misused often.†

There are many more uncomfortable consequences for an older boy than that.† I have my kids do added chores, Bible lessons, write a paper, and many other things that actually teach them.†

The mother should be correcting the son for her defiance to her, not the dad.†

This is simply bad advice and bad parenting.† God did not say to have dad beat submission into our boys.

Answer:

Abuse by some does not imply that properly administered spankings are wrong. Nor does the twisting of the Scriptures by some imply that these passages should not be taught. If you had taken the time to actually read what is on La Vista's web site, you will see that spanking is taught to be use in limited situations and the use of alternative punishments is encouraged -- along with biblical passages to support the position.

Please do not take your personal opinion and state that what God has said on the matter of child rearing is bad advice. Your opinion on what the passages mentioning the use of a rod do not match what the passages say. You are only expressing your personal desire. In addition, there is no biblical support (and no real modern-day studies) to the idea that properly administered spankings lead to aggression. There are numerous studies that conclude the exact opposite of what you claim.

I respect your authority as a preacher, but I am a spirit-filled Christian and I abide by the Word.†I am not against spanking and I am a firm believer in the Word of God.† I wish you were not offended, and I do AGREE with God, I just believe that MOST people take it out of context for their own emotional use and controling behavior.

Do you not see that a 14 year old is too old to be spanked? Or that a mother should deal with her own son in defiance?

You never address my questions, but rather to insult my respect for the Word. I respect the Word of God above my own life and truly strive to live by it.† However, no one is ever going to be beat into submission and have LOVE that is of Jesus.†

LEGALISM is not of God and never has been.† If that is your style, then I hope you are filled with the Holy Spirit and given wisdom that is of the NEW COVENANT of Jesus.†

I was mistreated, as a child with the use of this scripture and I sincerely hope you teach very moderate and rare use of spanking be used.† I am an advocate for children and see you as responsible to accurately teach your "flock" to use this scripture correctly.

A person who has been beat and abused is going to have a different perspective than you.†

Please simply contemplate this- I am not agreeing with passive parenting.† I respect you as a preacher.† Thank you for your resources- I look forward to reviewing them and praying over them.

God didn't place age limits when He said that a rod should be used in certain situations, thus I will not add to God's teaching. Each family situation is different. The mother in the referenced note, if I recall the correct one (How should I punish my defiant 14-year-old son?),†was having a hard time dealing with the child because he had gotten bigger than she and he saw his size as justification for ignoring her. It was the father who had written. I told the father that he had to lead the family as God gave him authority. I suggested several alternative punishments that would also benefit the boy, such as mowing the lawn with a push mower. I told him how to handle the situation if the boy got out of hand and that he was the best one to handle the boy's punishment because the boy would respect him.

That your children are not that old, nor have been allowed to get out of hand, doesn't change the fact that in some situations the "tools" God has given parents do work. Spanking is one of those in a set of "tools," and I'm not going to tell someone that a tool is not available just because a boy has reached an arbitrary age. I couldn't anyway because I am required by God to teach as He instructed (I Peter 4:11).

I know that you are trying to turn the tables by charging me with strictly following God's laws, but I thank you for noticing. Your motivation is clear because you want freedom to ignore what I've pointed out. Your statement: "no one is ever going to be beat into submission and have LOVE that is of Jesus" directly contradicts: "And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: "My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?" (Hebrews 12:5-7) -- from the New Covenant, if you will take note of it.† For your further edification, may I suggest, "Legalism: The Un-Sin" and "Jesus: Intolerant, Confrontational, and Exclusionary"?

And no, I'm not offended by your view. I'm pointing out that you are not thinking clearly because of your past and that your past is giving you a bias against what God taught.

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