The Current Best of FML
Sunday, Mar 22 2009

I’ve recently become a huge fan of the site fmylife.com. People send in instances when their lives are “f’d,” in one way or another, and people vote on whether or not they deserved them.

I have laughed SO HARD at this site all week!

Here are my current top five favorites.

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I’m a guy.FML

Best of all was one of the responses to this one:

Two years ago a group of us were hypnotized in front of our senior class. There was a segment called “Making Out with the Stars” and we all had to choose a celebrity and pretend to make out with them. I choose Denzel Washington, and I’m a 100lb white girl. The only black guy chose Hilary Clinton.

Another classic:

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years.FML

Kind of sad, but funny:

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, “Please don’t drink anymore, I really worry about your health” written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn’t ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said “So you’re going to drink anyway?” FML

I can see this one easily happening to most of my friends:

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn’t get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn’t buy a ticket he said: “Close your top, I’m gay”.FML

Weird and awesome:

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away.FML

I pictured the homeless man in a bright-red bikini triangle top. LOVE IT.