Weight and Insecurities

Yes, I know I'm overweight. Does that mean I'm less capable than you? No, not necessarily. My weight has been something that I have been self-conscious about since I was 8. I can't help my weight, it's honestly something I've come to terms with. No, I'm not proud of it, and yes I can admit that I need to lose a couple of pounds, but that doesn't justify the fact that my weight is constantly "reflecting" who I may be as a person. My weight doesn't define me, my actions do. Of course, I get the usual "if you know you're overweight why don't you do something about it?" The answer to that question is quite simply; I can't. My weight is constantly fluctuating between normal and too much, and there isn't much I can do to change it. I get the normal excercise for a 15-year-old everyday, and I eat the correct proportions for my age, but there isn't anything that I can do to keep my weight from fluctuating. In my teenage years, I've struggled with a lot of people (more specifically my age group and people in school) bullying me because of my weight. Of course, if I were thinner and curvier, I wouldn't be discriminated against so harshly. The fact is, everyday someone is bullied because they are too fat, too skinny, or too different. There's nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, can do to please society, and quite frankly I don't care. I mean, of course there's times where I wish I could just conform to society's standards and be just like the other people around me, but I can't and never will. I'm proud to be me, overweight or not, regardless of what anyone else thinks. But "overweight" people aren't the only people on the judgement spectrum. People who are "too thin" or "abnormally skinny" are also glared upon alongside people who are "too fat". The double standards that are imminent in this society disgust me, because people can never look past them. You'll probably think, 'sure, if you just lose/gain weight, you'll be absolutely perfect and society will view you as a fully functioning member.' But, sadly, that isn't the case. People will continuously view you based on what you look like, your gender, and your race. Even if you change one of these things, the past won't ever be forgotten. Just look back at your old photos; that's you. It's hard to change who you are, and it's even harder to change the way people perceive you. Once you learn to love yourself, someone will always come around and force you to hate yourself all over again. That doesn't mean you need to give up all hope of ever being happy with yourself, though. Whether overweight or underweight, black or white, there is someone who sees past your insecurities and straight into your soul. I promise you; there is love. In this society, where it seems there is no hope for you to be perceived as beautiful unless you're some 90 pound model, there will always be someone who will see you as beautiful.

Don't give up hope.

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