Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The two end spectrum's of friendship can be described by these 2 videos :)By the 2 ends, i dont mean one positive and one negative. They are both (profound :p) friendship based songs :-Di miss college all the more now!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Studying in India exposed me to things I've never thought existed. It was almost like a cultural shock, although culturally, we are the same. Same-same but different as they say ;-). Before setting my foot in India, i'll admit that my knowledge about India came primarily from Indian movies, religious scriptures and well, the outdated history we studied in school ;-) (Notice the pun? Notice? Noticed? Good!). So well, equipped with full knowledge about India, i packed my bags, packets of instant Teh O' Ais Limau, food, clothings, appa by my side and left for Bangalore. I knew nothing about Bangalore and didn't bother finding out either. I was too busy saying my goodbyes, attending parties thrown for me and merely bumming around aimlessly like the aimless 19 year old that I was (I'm 26 now and still as aimless, sigh!)

So well, i boarded the plane, alighted, cleared the immigration at some 10-ish at night, and reached the hotel by 11-ish, only to be greeted by stray cows sleeping and policemen patrolling the street. Appa and I were stopped by the Police as we were struggling to drag our luggage, huffing and puffing our way to the hotel. Their Kannada infused English told us that Bangalore was in a perpetual state of curfew, where life ceased to exist past 1130pm. I was too beat to react then but I was a little shaken to see a street so empty. No such thing ever happened in Malaysia. People were on the street at all times of the day, even if they were doing nothing, they were on the streets. So well, overwhelmed by all the journey and all, i slept (after eating some biscuits) and woke up the next morning and then realization hit me! I was away from home :( and there was no way i could say i dont like this place and go home either. Yeah, i didn't like the place as soon as i woke, even before it could make an impression on me. I'm bad-ass like that :-P. Appa and I got dressed, called the agent who was supposed to help us with the college registration, had the dry bread-jam in the hotel and waited patiently for 830am (the sun rises early in that part of the world, so 830 feels like 1/4 day past), and the guy came punctually 2 hours late. He drove us to the college in a white ambassador( I kid you not!) car, through the back alley ( it was a red gravel road, not even a proper road actually) and i had tears in my eyes. My inner voice spoke to my inner brain, " Shanky, you're so effin dead, what kind of place have you landed your self in?!", while i sat, tearing, in the white ambassador huffing and puffing on the red road to my Orange coloured college.

And the registration, at that time, sadly, went smoothly and appa stayed over for a few days before he left for Tirupathi and then back home. I remember having made 2-3 friends by then and not saying a proper bye to Appa as he was standing outside the hostel gate (I stayed up many nights crying about that, wondering why I did what i did. I still feel guilty about that). All alone in a foreign land, that speaks no Tamil, halting english (my friends at that time) and absolutely no familiar faces, i took solace in storybooks. I bought many books and would bury my head into it to avoid the stale, "Where are you from? Malaysia? Why have you come here to study?" to which i'd just smile., but inside my head i was killing them all. I got nicknamed Puzo, after Mario Puzo,obviously after being spotted all over MSR with The Godfather.

Slowly, I had started making friends, even without realizing ( so awesome i was that people couldn't resist being friends with me :-p) and i had lost the first friend I made in India (she turned out to be a psycho, a whole post has to be dedicated for that story). The more friends I made, the more i found out bout India ;-) and the more i ceased to understand stuff, which finally explains the title of this post. there were many things i never quite understood and found to be silly when i was first exposed to them. For example, i never knew why somebody would pinch me when I wore a new clothing and say new pinch! That would set a train of new pinches which you would have to silently endure and smile?! And then there was something called same pinch. Its essentially the same as a new pinch, where you get pinched merely for being same-same as the person pinching you! And then there were birthday bumps, where you get trashed for the single sin of being born on that particular day.

There were a host of other things I never quite understood, but now that I look back, I oddly miss all of those and more. I miss the orange coloured college, the red road leading to college, the despicable hostel wardens, Riya's boyfriend - the security guard- Mishhraaaa, the psycho roommate only cause there were the 2 other's to save me from her) the first boyfriend (now ex, for reasons obvious- college laaaau), the horrible, bribe infused trips to the Police Commissioner Office for my Residential Permits, the Surekha maam ;-) , and the silly college rules. I would endure all that a thousand times over if i could rewind back time to 2005. I swear I would! Why would i go through all that i hated? Because i found so much more to love in India. I even grew to love all that i hated. Those made me love the Bangalore I love.

I loved the Hostel, and how you were never alone in the hostel, even at 3am, if you were feeling lonely and full of crap, you could find a friend to talk to, if you couldn't you could just wake up any sleeping bandicoot and start talking like they were never sleeping in the first place. I loved the friends I made. I love the madness, uselessness i found in them :-p. I loved Holi. I loved taika! and dancing and walking to Empire for supper at 1130pm! for grub before getting into the auto on a 1 1/2 fare and cursing the auto-drivers all the way back to MSR. I love the cotton expo's where I bought 80% of my clothing's! , the Sagar samrat, where IlanoSankaRiya bought one thali meal and shared it and proceeded to steal all their mouth fresheners in a tissue paper, the Sankey tank, the numerous kind, wacky souls I got myself acquainted with, the host of awesome roommates I was blessed with- the one who fed me food, medicines and trashed my friends out of the room so that i studied and the one who had breezers with me, taught me chemistry and helped me build bridges ;-). I m thankful I stayed the entire 3 years , and I'm blessed I had awesome people around me.

I learnt Chemistry in Sonali's inhabitable room on her single bed where 3 of us would cram up like little rats and end up halucinating about being MSR's wife. I learnt that it is humanly possible for a person to shower for 2 hours 45 minutes and act like it was normal, I learnt how to write huge fonts and crap every 2 lines just to maximize the page, I learnt Hindi, and Kannada, I learnt how to ride a Pulsar and fall off it, I learnt how awesome it was to have friends following you around like homing missiles because you were depressed and spoke about killing yourself, I learnt how to enjoy idli-chutney-coffee every single morning, I learnt how to sing-dance-yell-act crazy in the rain, simply because no one knew who I was, I learnt how to walk 2km for rasmalai, I learnt how to adjust, how to live and most importantly how to have FUN living in Bangalore!

How? That's something I dont understand, and I dont attempt to either ;-)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

At the end, the only love which lasts is the love that has accepted everything, every disappointment, every failure and every betrayal, which has accepted even the sad fact that in the end there is no desire as deep as the simple desire for companionship. -

Friday, May 4, 2012

I have been away for too long, simply because i have been too vetti(jobless) and at the rate that im going, i doubt i'll ever complete my MSc :(

Anyhow, i've been utilizing this time for other pressing issues, such as how many blogs can i read completely by the end of one day; calculating how much time has passed, everytime i pour myself a cup of coffee, downloading and printing (illegal) research papers and taking care to not read them so as to preserve its mint quality. Ithellem senju-senju, so tired i become by the end of the day, that i reach out to pour myself another cup of coffee.. Yum..

And this unfortunate (and totally uncalled for) vettiness is wrecking havoc in myshut eye time. See people, only if you're busy and totally occupied the whole day, you'll feel tired and then the subsequent need for sleep. but if you have been up all morning (and afternoon) trying to fight off sleep (not to work but to avoid being fired), plotting and planning on how to kill time till 5pm, it becomes somewhat impossible to sleep at night.

But since its already Friday (pardyyyyyyy) i shall stop ranting and prepare my bi-weekly progress report ;-)
I know what you're wondering, how does someone who does no work all week long make a progress report? That's an art people, an art which keeps me employed ;-)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Its been a movie marathon week. Less work, more movies. I’ve even gone up to 2 movies in a night. Monday night was Big Bang Theory S5 Ep 15-18 and then Mauna Guru, Tuesday night with Ekk Mein Ekk tu and Crazy. Stupid Love, Wednesday, today , Dhobi Ghat. I don’t think I’d be able to watch another movie today. You know the feeling you get when you’ve completed a book, you’ve been reading for sometime, a book you fall in love with and make it your partner, companion. That moment when you know you’ve read the final full stop and the hollow feeling inside, which hurts and soothes at the same time. And that very feeling that doesn’t allow you to move away from it. You’d revel in the experience and reflect on all that has happened, plot, and real life. If you’ve experienced that, you truly are lucky to have found one such book. Well, it’s pretty much the same with Dhobi Ghat.

This isn’t a movie review, because I suck at it and ive got absolutely no idea how one reviews a movie. Ive got no knowledge on filmmaking and its intricacies and neither have I the capabilities of examining every single frame of the movie. I just know if it was Awesome, Good, or bat shit Bad.

Back to Dhobi Ghat, well, I’ve been putting it away for dragon years mainly because it was promoted to be a arty film, dry and an insight of the Dhobi Community, well, at least that what I understood, and I for one am not a fan of sad/ dark movies, mainly because I cry very easily. But today I had no better option, since I was running out of movies to watch (note to self: download more movies this weekend) and I wanted to watch something Indian.

Abstract, engaging, Aamir, perfection and it leaves you blank.

I had to take a break after the movie. Went outside, saw the beautiful rain, the chill. And was reminded of my Bangalore. How we’d play in the rain EVERYTIME it rained. How carefree college life was and how its changed now, at the age of 26. Realized that the numbers doesn’t quite matter (pfft, shanky! You’re 26, not 62; stop thinking like a fossil) instead its what you make life to be that matters. Quickly locked my room and ran downstairs before I could have a change of heart.

A few wild stares and a lil psst psst from the other hostel kids. Probably wondering why this crazy woman is dancing in the rain and croaking cheesy songs (Barso re megha- guru / raindrops keep falling on my head- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid, Chinna china mazhaithuligal – en swasa katre, and alots of laa la laa’s). Not like I could be bothered much, but I felt pity for them though. The same people, who’d probably be updating their FB status to, wow! It’s raining outside, so nice/so cool to watch the raindrops or other equally cheesy lines, yet, they wouldn’t want to play in the rain, Sigh.

Anyhoo, I’m a happy bee and the rain helps prioritize one’s life. I know I’d want to be happy, (always thought that qualifies as an answer to what you’d want to be in future) although completing the MSc within 18 months is very high on my wish list right now :P

Go stare at the rain if its raining over there, but, by all means, try and play in it, if you can, it’s the happiest thing to do!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Being happy certainly prompts you to write more article like stuff and being down in the dumps, more poems. Naturally. Also, being forced to write a Research proposal paper, prompts you to do everything but that. Even staring blankly at my water bottle appears more enlightening and appealing at this point. Someone, anyone at all, please remind me, why i though pursuing MSc was fun?! Blegh! And to make matters worse, Masters by Research?! Anyhoooo, coming back to the 26thing i think I've learnt.

1. Love is always fun. Life is too. Dont let anyone, absolutely anybody tell you otherwise. Suffering is never part of life's requirement. If you're down in the dumps, all you need is a smile and the attitude to pull yourself together, and be happy.

2. A day spent without laughter is a day wasted. That being said, laughing at a funeral house is wrong, do so on your own risk. Author can NOT be held responsible for any repercussions thereafter.

3. You have friends, and then you have friends who are family. You're lucky if you manage to find those who are family.

4. I love photographs, i love photographers. I love being in photographs, i love being clicked, but if there's one thing i absolutely cannot stand, is someone clicking away inanimate objects to glory while ignoring other people (esp on a tour/holiday) around them. Plain inconsiderate (especially if it goes on for hours)

5.Love thy parents. They're the best you have, will have and ever have. No replacements. Although there are some retards out there, undeserving to be parents and/or children.

6. Respect is something one commands, not demands. Respect everyone even if they dont deserve it. Never disrespect anyone below your social status and more importantly, dont kiss ass.

7. Never intimidate or be intimidated. If there is something you can/should earn, is a persons respect and never their fear. We arent really living in some action movie/ violent video games

8. Never let anyone tell you you're not worth it. You are everything you can ever have, be happy, be glad. but more importantly, never let anyone, absolutely anyone dictate how you live. What works for one, may not work for the other, my 26, probably is you 26 not's ;-)

9. Dont get stuck in a rut. You will get bored, eventually. Dont let yourself think the rut means stability, you'l regret wasting your life there.

10. Opposites dont attract. Find someone who's like you, mad, crazy, funny or even as dead boring as you are, because even if opposites do attract (for a while) it fizzles out before you can say fizzzzz

11. Pat yourself if you're among the lucky people who's got the chance to attend college. Its probably the only place you will experience heaven on earth (you realize that later though). If you're still in college, have all the fun you can, remember to study a few days prior to the exams, but dont make that the entire agenda ;-) You'll have all your remaining donkey years to learn.

12. Never sign up for Masters by research if you hate reading journals and writing citations. Blergh!

13. Spend. Save. Money. Do not hesitate to spend money if it will make memories. Do not spend unnecessarily if it make nightmares :-p. You'll always spend when you shouldn't. there will be phases in life you'll overspend, and during moments like that, remind yourself, NEVER to have credit card :-p

14. Love your pets. Adopt if possible. Dont buy. Dont promote breeding. Dogs, in my case, as ive learnt, are probably the only creature which loves and depends on you more than you do, yourself. Reminds me of a quote i read sometime ago, it went somewhat like this, " Be the person your dog thinks you are" - Honestly, your pet thinks youre the best :-)

15.Go out, Spend time outdoors. Realise how small you are in the course of action and realise you're part of a bigger scheme of things. A small speck.

16. fall down, Bruise yourself. Have scars, they'll remind you of the good times youve had, better than photographs.

17. Never try evaluating another person, let alone judging. Also, dont bother trying to completely understand another person. Its futile, one cannot understand oneself even after all the years spent together ;-)

18. Pray. To god, a higher power, nature, mankind. To anyone. Doesn't quite matter.As long as one is thankful and recognizes the good, the god in another. That will reduce alot of hatred, and bring you calm and peace.

19. Pani Puri is the best street food/ snack ever created by human. Fullstop.

20.Secrets exist for a reason. You can never be (and shouldn't' too) completely transparent with another person. Some secrets are meant to stay the way they are. Forgotten over time or grained onto the heart carrying it. Dont bother making them public, no one will probably understand, neither do they need to.

21. Have all kind of friends. The quiet one, the mad one, the party animal, the stupid one. the evil one. the showoff, the holier than thou one, the happy one, the depressed one, all of them. Entertainment ;-)

24. The joy of laughing while sitting on a tree with your best friend/ love/ anyone, doesn't change with your age bracket. Probably increase but never will decrease. Never stop climbing tree's and sitting on the branches. Its fun and life has a different perspective from that view.

25. I'll forever have a book in hand. Wherever i go. I cannot give away my storybooks, Even if i will probably not read it ever, anymore. They take you to a whole new world,without you having to move even an inch. They save you from conversation you wish to avoid ;-), awkward social pleasantries, boredom and sometimes even brings you closer to people :-)

26. Eat, gobble, speak about food, cook, eat, plan what to eat, where to eat, make food plans, food holiday. eat. eat some more and be happy. Try new food (although im a creature of habit and always tend to stick to the safer bet- doesnt quite matter since happy child loves eating and i can always sample some from him). Lose your way trying to look for food, find new food places in the process. Eat and be thankful.

These probably are the few things im passionate about (considering how i wrote these down instead of the others, and although there are many other things ive learnt, they well, remain secret ;-) )

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Some of the most beautiful things in life sometimes cannot be measured my its monetary value alone, or cannot be bought with how much ever money :-) I've seen the numerous posts about Money can buy Happiness (but i'd rather sit in a Mercedes Benz/ Big House and cry), well it makes the cry a little more comfortable, but you still cry and that pain can not be comforted with anything other than the genuine warmth a person can offer :-)

Everyone is lucky, one way or the other and it truly depends on how thankful and adept we are at recognizing the blessings in life. Its impossible to be saintly and be thankful for what you have and not feel a twinge of jealousy when you see someone seemingly luckier/prettier/richer/happier than you are, but what one has, another wouldnt and what one wants another doesnt ;-)

Im happy, as a bumblebee, right now :-) I've got my moments of

*Self hate (every-time i loose my way, i feel like slamming th car and just dying off, i hate making wrong turns and getting stuck in a jam or paying extra toll's because of the dumb-ass mistakes i make)

*Regret (Whenever i walk into a grocery shop, im a self confessed Grocer-o-holic :-( i cannot for the love of God walk out of a store without buying anything from it, and I instantly regret the purchase after iv paid for it)

and the list goes on but yeah, im Happy today :-)

I got to Skype with my little sister from another Mother a.k.a Step a.k.a Riya Palchaudhuri after so many dragon years. And it was as if we never left the hostel at all. the laughter and the madness. to see how beautiful she is now without ever changing from the goofy self she always was, is and will be (Eg, when i attached my earphone to the laptop, which ideally means i can hear her better, she says, Yay! You've attached the earphones, now i can hear you clearly, we ended up Rolling on the floor giggling) . We say half a sentence and laugh, knowing the other would understand. Giggling over life or death matters, being serious over frivolous issues such as how to travel from Delhi to Goa without appearing to be too ambitious. Reminded me of how lucky i truly am, to have friends like her, who never change, and would not hesitate to kick my ass if i screw up.

I got to jog up the tiny hills near my house with a Mr.Happy and Mr Happier, (one is Rocky and the other one is Happy Child) and at the end of the jog we managed to find a sturdy tree overlooking the hills to the town to sit on. With a little jump, hang, grab and push i was sitting on the tree with the widest smile on my face. Stinky, covered with pollen, bloody ankle, and scratches all over, but i was happy. I got to be the child i always was and the Happy Child lets me be who i am, without judging and joining me in the fun :-)

And my Mom packed lunch for me today!! My favorite Spinach curry with yummy Pudina Chutney and sauteed french beans with Sambal'ed Potatoes.. I was in food heaven ( mini visual orgasm too :-p) and at the end of the yummylicious meal (which was prepared with loads and heaps of love), i found a tiny bag in the lunch bag. With bated breath and trembling hands i reached out for it (Dramatic Shanky) lo and behold, there was pink coconut burfi in the tiny bag!!!!! Coconut Burfi happens to be one of my favorite Indian sweets! i was beaming with joy and decided to write this post then :-D

Monday, January 2, 2012

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ya'll strangers of the night and the rest of you minions.

Had the awesome-est of time on Christmas eve and the next 2 days were spent drinking and making merry :-) Which has left me now with a bad case of running nose and sinus :-( of which i need to fight off before tomorrow night! :-D Time for another round of pigging out and laughing myself out hoarse :-)

Christmas 2011 has easily been the most fun of all times ;-)

The eve was kick started with a game of Paintball. It seemed innocently fun till the first pellet hit my bare thighs... Ouch was all i could scream. The guys kept pelting as i screamed ( i forgot to put my hand up to signal I've been hit). After losing 3 last man standing games, my team won Capture the Flag :-D :-D The opponent team claimed they couldn't see me running as i was too short.. Heh heh heh.. Being short does have its perks after all ;-) I dont have the pics from the evening sadly :-(

And a quick shower and change later, I rushed to my cousin's place for an amazing night of Love, Food and Laughter :-) Its always nice to know you're loved and that you're part of an awesome family! That exactly is what i'm blessed with ;-) And Yay, i have loads of pics from the Eve :-)

A lot of booze and laughter and gift exchanges later, i left for home with a cousin sister and i dont remember anything that happened the minute i stepped into her car. The next thing i remember was waking up to laughter and yummmmmy coffee ;-) I realized i was in Syama ka's place then. The unmistakable aroma of coffee! Heaven!

Another Christmas party later that night at Aunts place. Sober and battling the urge to pig out on the yummy prawn sambal, mutton perattal and chili chicken. And the yummy carrot cake!! Year ends are bad times for dieting, Just saying.

The next day was spent with cousins again! This time, one last lunch (and Sangria) with Hema ka before she left for Singapore :( but we managed to click dozens of pictures and had a whale of a time!

de girls :)

Lovely lawn calls for a poyo pose :p

Love the shot :)

the ever goofy Sanjay

the funniest and happiest child, ever :-)

So, well thats pretty much how Christmas Weekend went. Filled with FUN and Laughter.

Its 2012 already (i started the post in 2011 :-p, and finished it only today), so technically this is my first post for 2012! WooHoo!! Happy new year folks and hope you guys had an awesome time welcoming the new year. I had the best start in 26 years ;-) , Friends, towers of beer, dance floor and the perfect midnight with perfect someone :-)

Happy New Year again and Adios!

p/s - All photos are by Hema Ramasamy, my cousin sister, with magical touch of perfection in everything she does, warmest of all people with a beautiful heart that shows so beautifully on her and in her works.