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6/17/2013

Draven, Kog'Maw and Teemo 'Barbecued'

For this second Barbecued interview, three champions came to our studio in order to answer our questions: Draven, Kog'Maw and Teemo. I will ask them about their story, their current form, and their general feeling towards League of Legends.

Part I : Draven

Jimmy: Good Morning Draven, and thanks for accepting...

Draven: Please. It's not Draven. It's Draaaaven.

Jimmy: Oh...sorry. Anyway thanks for accepting to do this Barbecued interview. For my first question, I like to ask people to introduce themselves briefly. Could you do that?

Draven: Everyone knows who Draven is, no need to introduce Draven. And by the way, I think Barbecued is not that good of a name for your interviews. What about Dravened?

Jimmy: Well hm...I'll think about it, thanks. So you were an executioner, and you were known for the entertainment you brought in these executions. Therefore my question is, did you join League of Legends in order to get more famous, or to be able to execute more people?

Draven: When I joined the League of Draaaven, I just wanted to give more people the opportunity to watch and learn. Because you see, I already have everything. Fame? Draven has it. Perfection? I got that. I'm also beautiful. I got money in the bank, pimpin' ain't easy. Wait, what are you doing? What the hell are you not recording? Oh shit. Naw please record me what the hell?

Jimmy: I am recording don't worry. So you seem to have a big ego. Don't you think that this overconfidence you seem to have can backfire some day?

Jimmy: I'm not jealous, I'm just asking questions. Is there any champion in the League that you fear, or at least feel like he could be as good as you?

Draven: I'm the greatest, everyone else is trash. Man, I'm good.

Jimmy: ...ok...hm. I wanted you to talk a little bit about your relationship with your brother Darius. We don't know that much about you guys as brothers, how would you describe your relationship?

Draven: Smooth.

Jimmy: Well that's a complete answer.

Draven: Why, thank you.

Jimmy: ...ok...well thanks for this interview I guess, is there anything you wanted to add before we get to the second part, with Kog'Maw?

Draven: Yeah, let's admire me for a bit.

Jimmy: ...

Draven:

Jimmy: ...

Draven:

Jimmy: Ok thanks Draaaven and have a good day.

Part II: Kog'Maw

Jimmy: Hello Kog'Maw and thanks for accepting my invitation. As for Draven just before, would you mind introducing yourself?

Kog'Maw: Time to feast!

Jimmy: Wait...is this a bad time? You're hungry aren't you? Well I'm sorry I don't have that much to eat. Let's just make this quick, then you can go and eat ok?

Kog'Maw: Want meat!

Jimmy: Yes sure, you can eat meat after the interview. So what made you join the League?

Kog'Maw: Mmm...FOOOD!

Jimmy: Wow you really don't talk about anything else do you? Anyway, I noticed that you often buy a Phantom Dancer when competing in the Fields of Justice. And I was wondering, "how does he use those swords", because you know, you don't have any arms. Now, I brought a Phantom Dancer (which by the way cost me quite a bit) and I was wondering if you would be willing to show me how to use it. I'm going to put it right in front of you, and you just show me how you do, is that ok?

Jimmy places the Phantom Dancer in front of Kog'Maw. Kog looks at the two red swords for a second, then proceeds to eat them.

Jimmy: Wait what the hell? Dude that cost me like half of my budget for this month. Damn. Bad Koggy!

Kog'Maw: Fa la la la la, la la la la, lala lala lala lalaaaa

Jimmy: This is not my day. Ok Koggy, I'm going to try another question and then I'll move on to the last interview with Teemo, who, I hope, will be more talkative. What champion in the League do you fear the...what the fuck, what are you doing stop eating your tail Kog'Maw!

Kog'Maw bites his own tail, dies, and activates the Icathyan surprise, becoming a living bomb. Jimmy quickly pushes him towards the waiting room, where Teemo was waiting for his interview. Surprised, the Swift Scout can't dodge Kog'Maw, who explodes right in Teemo's face, killing him instantly.

Jimmy: Well then I guess there won't be a third part with Teemo. Sorry guys for this and see you soon with another Barbecued interview.

Presentation

Minion's paradise is a humorous blog about League of Legends. You will find articles about the universe of the Fields of Justice, as well as stuff about the esports scene, and the different ways to make Teemo suffer.

Everything in here is original content. Well, except the game. I actually did not invent League of Legends.