He Really Thought We Were Having Sex…SIKE!!!

“I just knew I was on Punked and Ashton Kutcher was about to jump out. Like why would you invite me over to your place while you’re having a stoners party? I don’t even smoke!”

One of the reasons I decided to start a blog called Single Woman Chronicles was because I wanted women to relate to the things I’ve gone through as a single woman. One way women can relate is by reading about some of my dating experiences. Some of my experiences are hilarious but some of them are very hurtful. Today, I want to tell you about one of my funny experiences. I still laugh because this fool really thought we were about to have sex…

I met this guy in MJQ on my birthday weekend. MJQ is this dope underground club located in the heart of Atlanta, Georgia. I was sitting next to my best friend Sarah and he approached me. He was a chocolate cutie so I welcomed his approach. We talked a little then exchanged numbers. The next day, he texted me and we set up a date. Our first date was at Rusan’s, a Japanese restaurant that has some of the best sushi. We had a good first date and I planned on seeing him again.

We started talking and texting daily and it was a pretty casual situation. We hadn’t spoken too much about relationships or anything because we were really just going with the flow. One day he invited me over to his place and I decided to go. It was about 2PM in the afternoon so I thought we would just chill and watch a movie or something.

When I got to his place, I was pretty impressed because he lived downtown in a high rise apartment building. We were still in college so his place was pretty impressive. He came down to get me and I noticed that his eyes were bloodshot red. When he got closer, I could smell the gunja all over him. I just remember thinking “Is this fool high right now?” I have never smoked before so I don’t typically date smokers. This was my first time experiencing him in this state and I already knew I didn’t like it. But I had already arrived at his place so I decided to see what happened.

We went up to his apartment and when I walked in it was a group of people sitting in his living room high as hell. I was so confused because I just knew I was on Punked and Ashton Kutcher was about to jump out. Like why would you invite me over to your place while you’re having a stoners party? I don’t even smoke! I wanted to turn around and run but I just went with it.

I sat on the couch and about 15 minutes later the stoners got up to leave. “Thank God!” I thought as they each made their exit. He came back to sit next to me and we started watching TV. About 30 minutes into watching TV, he started scooting over close to me. Then all of a sudden, this fool kissed me! We had never kissed before so I was super caught off guard especially since I could taste the gunja on his tongue. YUCK! I decided to play it off and say I had to use the restroom so we could stop. I got up and went to the restroom and looked in the mirror and just shook my head and laughed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I handled my restroom business and prepared myself to go back into the living room hoping he had calmed down.

I walked out of the bathroom just to find this man standing in nothing but his underwear. I was so confused. I then asked him what the hell he was doing and he gave me an embarrassed look and said “Oh, I thought this was what you wanted because you went to the restroom to freshen up.” WHAT?!!!! This man thought that once we kissed it was time to get it poppin. We had never kissed before, never had sex before, and never even talked about sex before so why was he in his damn underwear. I simply said “No, this is NOT what we’re doing” and walked in the living room.

Five minutes later, he emerged from the room fully clothed headed towards the door. I just looked at him because I didn’t know where he was going. He then told me that he had something to do and I should leave. I shook my head and just walked out of the door and he closed the door behind me. He didn’t walk me back downstairs nor did he say goodbye. That was the last time I heard from him.

Moral of the story is, learn more about him before going to his home because men are crazy out here!

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3 Responses

Laini

December 24, 2016

The craziest thing is something similar happened to me a few years ago. I thought I knew this guy and stopped by to see him when I was in town, because I just knew we were cool enough. This fool pulled out a condom and got mad because I was like nah. He kicked me out of his place 2am in the morning. Your advice is definitley right. I learned my lesson big time.