If you’re anything like me you’re probably sitting there with no decorations up and muttering bah-humbug to yourself. Well, entertain yourself with these five crap films that are up, in their inglorious entirety, on the YouTubes.

Here’s a clip from an arthouse horror film that has been banned at some film festivals and has won awards at others in its first public screenings: controversial director Trevor Juenger’s Coyote. The film stars Bill Oberst Jr. as an insomniac writer whose sleep-deprived hallucinations distort reality as paranoia drives him to extreme violence. The surreal shocker, which mixes arthouse and horror, is shopping for distribution and it’s first public screenings have elicited strong reaction.

Director Trevor Juenger tweeted last week from a festival, “Someone in the audience keeps yelling What Is This? and What Does It Mean? We’re going to give him an aneurysm by film’s end.” Juenger says a college screening of Coyote was shut down in mid-film by an administrator citing “extreme violence” while another public screening in the director’s hometown of St. Louis had to be cancelled when the theater owner refused to run the film due to “extreme content.”

Coyote‘s IMDb page (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2385041) shows 27 reviews, all positive. The film’s wins include Best Feature at the 2013 Unreal Film Festival in Memphis and three Feature Film Awards at Pollygrind Underground Film Festival 2013 in Las Vegas, including a Best Actor Award for Oberst.

Fans of the surreal and the extreme can decide for themselves once Coyote gets distribution. In the meantime, here’s a clip that director Juenger says “may be my favorite sequence in the film,” the moments before Oberst’s character snaps completely.

Unless you’ve been living in a drug induced coma on Mars (and for all I know you might have been) you should know about Retard-o-tron. I’ve gushed previously about Retard-o-Tron 1 and Retard-o-Tron II so, it’s time to gush greatly about Retard-o-Tron III.

If a mix of old school Resident Evil and Silent Hill sounds right up your alley then read on.

OK, everyone is now pretty much fed up with ‘found footage’ films and while Frankenstein’s Army (FA) does use it, it’s used to good effect. So, don’t panic when you see the first few minutes of the soldier explaining that he’s the unit camera man and is there to document the proceedings.

The story is as thus: Toward the end of World War II, Russian soldiers pushing into eastern Germany stumble across a secret Nazi lab, one that has unearthed and begun experimenting with the journal of one Dr. Victor Frankenstein. The scientists have used the legendary Frankenstein’s work to assemble an army of super-soldiers stitched together from the body parts of their fallen comrades — a desperate Hitler’s last ghastly ploy to escape defeat. (from IMDb)

I was flicking through a shed-ton (technical term) of old movie posters on my computer when I realised that I could do a post on some of my favourites. Now, this is not my top 10 most favourite, it’s just ten that are pretty awesome that I’m throwing out at you. Note also that most are a decade or two old. In other words: these babies were probably hand painted by some very talented people. Not Photoshopped to fuck and back like today’s boring posters.

I made a post about crazy Japanese game shows before here on MS, but most of the video links seem to be deceased. So, I thought I’d trawl the Intarwebz for more sleazy filth Japanese game shows for you.

This is a tough one to review as I’m not sure if my copy was more funny because of the Engrish subtitles. My subs were taken from German subs that were converted to English via Google Translate. Never a good thing normally, but for subtitles, it’s hilarious.

Normally I never watch the credits to a movie, but this one is pretty awesome. It has a fit Japanese chick gyrating to some funky music. When I say ‘gyrating’ it’s more like she has the runs and needs a dump. Still, she bends over a lot and that’s no bad thing for the start of a movie.

The premise of the film is simple: all Irish people are raging alcoholics. And as they said for Human Centipede: based on medical fact.

I can best describe the story as an Irish War of the Worlds. There’s a meteor splash-down just off the coast of a small Irish island. Several fishermen go missing and later we see one (exceptionally drunk) fisherman trapping a strange creature and (in true Irish fashion) taking it home and keeping it in his bath.

Meanwhile, a (rather hot!) female replacement for the police chief arrives on the island and is partnered with the local alcoholic copper.

While drunk (again!) the fisherman recounts the story of his monster-in-the-bath to the local copper (also drunk again). It is of course dismissed as drunken ramblings but turns out to be true when said fisherman returns home to find a large hole in his house and his bath outside.