"Barely Controlled Chaos" is about my life, it's tendency to careen out of control, and how I manage to survive with the help of good friends and family.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentines Day!

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day in our house...that stopped for many in our "circle" three years ago when our dear friend James died after a traumatic accident at the creek. He was just twenty two years old...my youngest daughter's best friend since JHS and roommate. We do go to the cemetary. This year, for the first time ever, it didn't rain! One year it snowed! Usually we lug lawn chairs, umbrellas, and rain gear. We bring beverages and snacks. We have our own little reunion and sit around James'tombstone and visit. We don't want to forget!

This year my daughter and her boyfriend (who was with James at the time of the accident) decided to go to Las Vegas and have fun. They think it's time to "get on with their lives", and besides James would've loved Las Vegas! So off they went and I promised to go the cemetary by myself...which I did...and there was no one there. I hung around for about 10-15 minutes and decided to come home.

The thing is that most of the circle has grown up a whole lot. They have responsibilities and families that they didn't have when James died. There were signs that many had come...flowers, a note, balloons, a toy that I had left last year. They made me smile, and I know that they make James smile. I could almost identify who had been there already and who had not yet made it. I know his mother had not been there yet...I would have liked to have been able to visit with her a bit, but evidently it wasn't to be. I know I'll see her once a year at our August party. I know she'll know that I was there before her.

I used to love this day. Actually, any day I could decorate and use food coloring in mashed potatoes is a favorite!

This morning came with blue sky and sunshine! The air smelled sweet. The temperature was freezing, if not below, there was a coat of ice on the cars. I actually had to fight with the car door and pry it open and then get in and kick the others open so I could load all the recylables and trash can to deposit down on the main road. Anyway, I just felt good...happy...almost joyous. I made my coffee, threw some laundry in and came up here to check my email. And guess what I found?

I was awarded a Blog Award! My first! Thank you Michelle! Go to her blog http://michellekemperbrownlowwrites4kids.blogspot.com/and read and laugh . Today she did a video...it was awesome to put a face and a voice to a blog. Ha! I just called my new cyber friend a blog! Silly me!

Today was a beautiful day and I just knew good things were going to happen and they did!

Story Time had over 20 kids, the largest crowd in a long while. I had stopped and bought treats for them earlier and had just enough! We had frosting and sprinkles all over the community room, but it all cleaned up nicely! We had no meltdowns. Only one head bumping incident when we twirled around and danced. Everyone left with a smile!

My son just called and asked if I could babysit at his house tomorrow after work so he could take his wife out on a date because he has firefighter class tonight...anyone who knows me knows this is my idea of a Friday night. Whoooo-hoooo!I adore my grandchildren and like nothing better than spending time with them. My hubby will have to fend for himself tomorrow night...I think he'll be okay with it. I have my daughters car while she's gone, so I'll be driving a dependable vehicle (he lives in the next town, about 25 miles away and I don't drive mine out of town)

This day that I was dreading has turned out to be fabulous! I hope all of yours did as well.

What a wonderful way to honor someone to gather. It is okay that no one else did this year. Everyone will heal in their own way. Don't be surprised if more gather next year. My FIL was buried on Valentines Day. At the very young age of 51. MIL thought it the perfect day to bury her soulmate.

And don't worry, I do have planned a full out bladder blog very soon. I've been spreading the news through my family to hopefully get feedback and stories from others. I hope to inspire others to open up - misery loves company.And I love your blog!

Clay Pots

About Me

I am 52 years old. I've been a mother since I was sixteen. A grandmother since 30-something. I live in a log house, ten miles outside a small town nestled in the foothills of the Oregon Cascades. I work hard at trying to decrease my carbon imprint on this world, while also working hard to leave my soul imprint.