My Husband Loves Soccer More Than Me!

Mr. L. looks at me dumbfounded. He’s had this identical look on his face numerous times in our marriage. That look of D U H.

I had just finished watching a television show where couples were asked questions such as: what’s your wife’s favorite color, food, book, movie, destination? Stuff like that.

Most of the couples had only been married under a year, and they were already answering quickly and confidently. One dude said, “She likes blue. Not a deep, royal blue, but more like a soft, aqua blue.” Another retorted, “Her preferred foods are curry marinated chicken wings with Kraft blue cheese dressing on the side.

WTF? Such delicious details. ( to be honest, I was a bit jealous )

This got me to thinking. What does Mr. L. truly know about me after 25 years of marriage?

Would he know my favorite movie is Spartacus, my favorite series is Sex and the City, and my favorite destination is Kenya? Would he even know something as uncomplicated as what my favorite color is?

“What I’m trying saaaaaaay is you may think you know me, but you don’t know JACK POOP.”

“What are you talking about now, Kim?”

“What I’m saaaaaaaaying is, you don’t actually know the “r e a l” me.

The little things, the things you may believe are insignificant, but they’re not. Do you?

Did you know I like liver-sausage on saltine crackers after my walks? Did you know I’ve read Jonathan Livingston Seagull five times, & that I met Anne Frank in my dreams? ”

Yeah, it’s all true.

“Shit, will you please let me watch the rest of this soccer game?”

“Nope. Absolutely, positively not.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to tell me what my favorite movie is.”

“Come on, really?

“Yeah, if you know me so well, what’s my favorite movie. Don’t you feel you should know this after all these years?”

“Um, it’s either The Breakfast Club, The American President, or what’s that one called with Cher and Sam Elliott you’ve watched about a million times with the bikers and that kid with the mask?

“Wrong. Wrong. And f*cking WRONG again.”

He continues watching Liverpool against Manchester. Apparently, the stupid game is more important than this conversation.

“Stop staring at me,” he finally says.

“Ok, what country would I most want to visit? I mean, I want to fly there immediately.”

He turns to look at me. ‘That’s simple. England.”

“Noooooo! I’ve been there before. Don’t you evvvvver listen to me?”

“Stop whining.”

I stand in front of the television and consider performing a bit of Magic Mike to get his full attention.

Hell, No! He doesn’t deserve that until he can answer at least one of my questions.

“I’m going to miss that penalty kick if you continual standing there!” He shouts. “Move!”

“I’m not moving until you can tell me what my favorite color is.”

“Don’t you smell something burning in the kitchen?”

“Tell me NOW now now now?”

He smiles.

“I know that one.”

“What is it?”

“Well, you buy lots of black boots.”

I move away from the television, kiss him firmly on the lips.

“Your answer pleases me. You shall live another day.”

“I pass?”

“For now,” I answer.

——–Darling, Reader, do you ever have conversations like these w/ your partner? If so, your partner know those little, sweet things about you?

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77 Comments

Brenda Florestano

August 29, 2015 at 9:09 am

I know why the newlyweds got the color question right. They have recently spent a year planning a pinterest wedding and have spent hours with the beloved comparing fabric swatches. Mr. Liverpool knows you enough to indulge you, to make you laugh, and to provide the arms you want to keep coming back to. If there are things about you he doesn’t know, that’s just fine. What fun would it be to live with someone who has no mystery? Plus, I know for me, the favorite movie and/or book keeps changing. Who can keep up?

Haaaa! Yes indeed and my guy also doesn’t like these questions. He has been known to say “What do you want from me?” a time or two but that makes me f-u-r-i-o-u-s. I guess it’s a guy thing. Perhaps they find us such a mystery, they have to ask what we want?

Your favorite color is pink, no? Favorite movie Moonstruck!

Cuz that’s what friends are for…they get us when the guys are all like ” What…?!”

Ha!! I can picture this scene so full of hilarious detail!! I love how you and Mr. L go back and forth! I won’t even GO. THERE. with my hubs… because even though he may not even remember much of anything about those questions, he knows exactly what I need *MOST of the time* on any particular day… Not colors, movies, or foods really- because marriage in it’s most profound existence is about SO much more.

On those really hard days… is when he knows exactly what he needs to know. He gets me- in the deepest and darkest and most passionate places.

He knows some things; others change so much he’d have no clue. And YES we have strange and fascinating conversations like this all the time. I finally figured out one day that it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know my favorite movie – it matters that he comes home to me faithfully every day, he would die for me and he loves me madly, passionately and completely… without knowing my fave movie! I don’t even know my fave movie since I actually have more than one and would be hard-pressed to pick just one!!

Ha ha!! Lovely topic Kim! That is so common! all men have that trait… I am sure my husband too loves cricket more than me but that is only when he is watching it and I am trying to stand in front of him to ask those damn questions he hates!!
But I am quite used to that. I have stopped asking questions now because I know him better than he knows me!

Messing with a guy when he’s watching soccer?! Mr. Liverpool must really love you to put up with that! 😉 Congratulations on 25 years of wedded bliss, Kim.
For fun, I asked my Italian, soccer fanatic hubby these questions, but not during a game and he got them right. Well, after 42 years, one would hope so, yes? 😀

Ah, Kim, I’ve MISSED you! It’s such a treat having you back, dear! As for Mr. L., why, no he might not know all those teensy details, but he’s there, beside you, and has been for 25 years. What a blessing you’ve been to each other! In his defense, men are pretty clueless how important stuff like this is to women. They think if they told us one time that they loved us, that would be sufficient forever. It’s not, of course! Perhaps that’s why it’s up to women to handle details while the guys concentrate on the “big picture.” And hey, soccer isn’t so bad — at least he got the black boots part right, huh?? Hugs from HOT Central Illinois.

This reminds me of the shoe game played at some strange weddings I have attended over the years. Your Mr. is a lovely man Kim. Not knowing some of these details, well who among us knows the details that change over the years?

Kim Gagnon

I definitely know more about my Pete than he knows about me, well I think so. I am going to put it to the test!
Missed you and think of you every day – amazing how you make your way into my thoughts – lovely!
Have a beautiful and happy week hon.
🙂 Mandy xoxoxo

You made me laugh, it’s so good!
OK I would not have tried this with my ex or I would have finished the evening in tears in the bedroom with him shouting how stupid I am. Anyway he would not have been able to answer any of these questions. He was too preoccupied by his life all the time that he did not have space to think about mine.
Anyway…
I think most guys don’t get attached to those little things that mean the world to us. We know things by heart. They have to be reminded of them. But in the mess of life, if they are standing there with us, hand in hand, we know it does not matter much…It’s just fun after all Kim. And it’s good this way.

I’m horrible at remembering details like that about people – I could barely tell you any of my friends’ birthdays and for sure don’t know any of their favourite colours, but I can tell they’re upset from the wording of a text, which I (hope!!) is what really matters!

I read this and laughed. Laughed because just this weekend I stood in front of the TV to get the husband’s attention. He was watching a football game, I believe. And then when he was staring at me last evening, I asked why. “Can’t I look at my lovely wife?” he asked.

Ah, there, all is good. We have been married 33 years and God how I love that man.

Dad

August 31, 2015 at 5:25 pm

Kim, I have married a lot longer than you, and I still don’t Moms favorite color.
Or her fav movie or song, food, and lots more. We don’t have a lot in common,
but we still love each other.
Love You
Dad

Ironic to be reading ‘The Post-Birthday World’ by Lionel Shriver, which deals with a woman’s infatuation with a British snooker star (okay, a far cry from soccer) that has her questioning a long-standing relationship she’s in. Very interesting construction– alternating chapters that become a kind of dual narrative exploring different outcomes. All of which is to say, it does get a woman thinking — albeit with a touch less charm than your post.

Oh some good belly laughs here. Thanks for sharing this and welcome back to blog-land. All of your pics of San Fran looked great and make me want to get back there someday, preferably sooner than later. Considering my partner is gone, gone, gone… all I can say is I thought I knew him and didn’t know him. At all.

Ha! Sounds like our conversations but thats being generous calling it a conversations because we don’t have those either!! After 19 years together :/
Just replace the British footie with American football.

I think if we asked this question in our first year we may have been to answer it like those couples on the show.

Time makes us so comfortable with each other, questions like that are no longer necessary. Though, I share so many likes with him, like Sci Fi and sports that he gets away easy 🙂

hahahahahahahaha. We too have been married 25 years (next week). And I’m positive he doesn’t know my favorite color or my favorite movie because I don’t thin I HAVE a favorite of either of those. We’ve never played this game…and if we did I would probably fail miserably as well. Still…25 years later we know enough to know we’ll still be together 25 years from now if we’re lucky enough to still be around anywhere.

First, LIVER sausage? GROSS!!! But yes, I’ve had a thousand conversations like this one with my husband and he only recently got my favorite color right because our son asked. Gah. And LOL to the whole “really? we’re doing this now? And move!” because YES!!! HA.
Even tonight, mine was watching football and I was like “WHO IS THIS and WHY DO YOU CARE?” I guess he cares because whatever team will be maybe playing his team whenever.