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I’ve been on a purge lately. I’m talking about a social media, music, books, movies, pictures, and ex-boyfriend contact information type of purge. I’ve done this before. I’ve gotten rid of things that I know aren’t good for me, but this time felt different. This time felt different because I had the “whys” behind why I was getting rid of the unnecessary distractions in my life.

1 Why- There’s no need for me to continue any type of connection or communication (i.e. social media connections, text messages, phone calls, DMs, etc.) with an ex or someone I used to “talk to.”

2 Why- Some of the relationship books, blogs, movies, songs and social media images are either super perverted, degrading to both men and women, foolishness, contrary to God’s word or a combination of all.

Ex-Boyfriends & Acquaintances Purge

I’ve always found it odd when people seek to “let’s just be friends” after a breakup (Note: I am not referring to situations where children are involved, but boundaries are helpful). I’ve even uttered those silly words post-breakup. But why? Why do we seek to maintain those connections? I don’t see the value in keeping an ex floating around in the background as a distraction when I’m trying to get to the one that God has for me.

I’ve removed all traces of my exes or anyone that I was involved with. No social media connections (they may still follow me, but I’ve un-followed them), deleted contact information, deleted message threads, deleted pictures and videos, etc. I want my heart to be free and clear for the man who God has for me. I don’t want to be found by the man who will be my husband one day still tangled up in an ex that I won’t let go of.

Music, Movies, Books and Social Media Purge

We’re inundated nowadays with bad media. Song lyrics encourage excessive drinking, smoking, sex and violence. Relationship books and blogs promote compromise and manipulation. Social media images and videos praise lewd behavior. Movies and television shows champion sex, violence, sex, violence, more sex, more violence, degradation of men and women, sex, violence, and more degradation of men and women. I had to get rid of these things. They weren’t beneficial to my soul whatsoever.

“We are allowed to do anything, but not everything is good for us to do. We are allowed to do anything, but not all things help us grow strong as Christians.” 1 Corinthians 10:2, NLV

I am called to purity. Purity is already a struggle, especially when I haven’t practiced purity all of my life. It doesn’t benefit me to bombard my spirit with suggestive lyrics; lyrics that promote sex before marriage, sex with multiple partners, sex with strangers and sex with other women. I’ve personally felt the divide between God’s Word and what the world says about sex. And you know what? When I fed myself with the nasty lyrics and starved myself of the Word, I followed what the lyrics said. But when I constantly fed myself the Word of God and starved myself of the nasty lyrics, I followed what the Word said. As much as I love relationship books and blogs, I had to get rid of them. The majority of the books I owned were the opposite of what Jesus Christ teaches us about relationships. My previous choice in books encouraged sex outside of marriage and promoted the world’s way of handling relationship issues. Back then I believed it was innocent, but once I went back to my roots, the Word, I viewed what I was watching, listening to and reading differently. I will say this: once you read God’s Word for yourself and allow it to penetrate, you will view everything in the world differently.

I encourage you to take a look at your music selections and collections. Take inventory of your books, movies and social media connections. Google the lyrics, artists, authors, and actors/actresses behind the media. I know you like that beat, but really listen to what the person is saying because your subconscious is taking it all in. You’ll be surprised.

I had to find out for myself what these artists were singing/rapping. I used to think, “oh, it’s not a big deal. I’m grown; I know the difference.” Explicit/suggestive lyrics and suggestive television/movie scenes may seem small or insignificant, but I promise you they’re not. The things I was listening to, watching and reading prevented me from hearing God. Why? Because everything I was listening to, watching and reading was contrary to God’s Word. Everything I was listening to, watching and reading was drowning out what little bit of Word of God I had in my heart.

It wasn’t worth it.

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45, NKJV

“Absolutely. She can be celibate, but I’ll still be having sex with other people.”

Yes! That was a snippet of a real conversation that I had with a guy that I was interested in at the time. I’m so thankful that relationship got BLOCKED!

I remember feeling so discouraged about men and relationships after that conversation. Surely there had to be some men out there who shared my belief in what the Word has to say about sex before marriage.

I came across Tony Gaskin’s YouTube video Will a Man Wait and felt a little bit more hope. Watch the video below, BUT keep in mind that although what Gaskins mentions is helpful, a man’s number one motivation for waiting for sex until marriage should be his relationship with the Lord.

Work stress…grieving the loss of a loved one…career uncertainty…relationship conflict…health issues…bills. Just typing that made me tired.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I’m currently employed by a company whose job offer I should’ve turned down (I was warned three times not to take the job, plus I even pulled out of the offer initially!). I recently lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s a day before my 31st birthday. I feel overwhelmed with grief and uncertain of my next career move.

In this moment I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have the words to encourage myself or my family. I’m unsure about when to leave my current company for another job. I just don’t have the answers.

But I know the One who does…

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I hope that’s good news for you like it was for me! I don’t know what my next move will be concerning my career, but I’ve given my worries and my cares to Him. He will lead me in the way I should go. I also have faith in the comfort that He will provide to my family and I during our time of grieving:

“Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 5:4

Did I immediately feel better after reading those words? No, but I will trust him daily for the promises He’s made. He’s faithful.

The Importance of Calling
Yesterday I posted The Concept of Your Calling by Pastor Tony Evans. Well, today I’m sharing The Importance of Calling by Pastor Tony Evans. Pastor Evans points out that we must know why we need our purpose before discovering our purpose.

The Concept of Your Calling
If you’ve been struggling to understand/find your calling, please listen to this message from Dr. Tony Evans. He’s an amazing preacher from Texas. His church is Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship. Enjoy!

So we’ve officially hit springtime and I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling extremely motivated to take my fitness to the next level.

My strength: I actually enjoy working out

My weakness: food and sugary drinks (yum)

So I want to invite my virtual friends (you) to join me in a 30 day fitness challenge (ending May 7, 2016). I’m not going to be super specific about this challenge, but my number one focus is: FOOD!

They (don’t know specifically who) say “you can’t out work a bad diet” and “80% is food and 20% fitness.” I believe these quotes wholeheartedly and I challenge you to think about what you’re eating.

So how bout it? You in?

Here’s my commitment for the 2016 fitness challenge:

No fast food

Drive-thru’s aren’t normally my thing, but I’ve noticed when I’m pressed for time and have limited options, fast food is clutch. In order for me to succeed I am going to have to plan, plan, plan. Please feel free to design your own fitness challenge and share in the comments below.

P.S. Really sit and think about what will challenge you. Also, you’re body is unique; you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Tailor the challenge that is just right for you. Zone in on your fitness challenge focus for April.

A boy asked his mom, “How will I be able to find the right woman for me?” The mom answered, “Don’t worry about finding the right woman; concentrate on becoming the right man.”

We’ve all heard variations of this story. We’ve all spoken the words, “I just want to find the right person for me.” This has been said by both men and women.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you must first become what you seek. The problem with saying statements such as “I just want to find the right person for me,” is that it’s placing all of the emphasis on what the other person brings and hoping that they’re “perfect” or whole enough to cover your imperfections or un-wholeness (I’m pretty sure that’s not a word).

A friend and I were having a conversation and I told him there is some selfishness to the things that women require of men. Short of Jesus, we want a man that makes six figures, drives a Range Rover, loves dogs, lives in a loft, no kids, debt free, three degrees, volunteers at the homeless shelter, a deacon at the church, mentors troubled youth, likes poetry, likes kids, likes your kids, likes your sister’s kids, speaks five languages, perfect teeth, can predict our mood swings, likes to travel, cooks, perfect credit, and listens.

It made me think, “are those traits, characteristics, and accomplishments even possessed by those asking?” Most of the time the answer is a resounding “NO;” that’s an ideal; something straight out of a book. My friend further challenged my thinking by asking, “what if we [men] had a list like that?” The point is, if you desire that type of person then become that person. If you aren’t the person you’re describing, then it’s unfair to the other person who does posses these qualities.

I’m not just speaking on a physical level. Becoming the right person, in my opinion, has a lot to do with your emotional well-being. It goes without saying that you and your significant other won’t be identical. That would cancel out the beauty of uniqueness; therefore one of you wouldn’t be necessary, but rather you’ll complement one another.

Right attracting right begins with you. It is well within your control to become the right person. Not that you shouldn’t ask, but asking for “the one” without first becoming “the one” comes from a place of selfishness. Seeking to become the right person puts you in a position to give and not be needy. Until that one comes along, focus on becoming spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially right. Focus on being That Good Thing.