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Kaz Cooke's 5 sibling rivalry tips

Kaz Cooke, Australian mum and hilariously funny parenting author, released a new edition of her famed tome Kidwrangling (Penguin) recently. An arm-achingly 635 pages long, the book covers every child-related topic you can think of, from bathing and vomiting to head lice and party planning. With the new edition containing the latest advice on protecting babies from SIDS, updated safety requirements for slings, as well as new sections on grandparents and children with special needs, here are some of Kaz's tips on combating sibling rivalry:

Empower each child

Kaz advises letting older kids know that they can still be the 'little one' and have negative emotions and get cuddles. After that, it's important to empower each child individually. "Give kids their own, individual rights and responsibilities," says Kaz. Discuss WHAT these might be and make the decisions together.

Reward good behaviour

If you've established boundaries and helped with conflict resolution -"Now it's your turn to say sorry" - but the bickering continues, take each child aside and ask them to nominate the good points about each other then use positive reinforcement to praise good behaviour. "Reward them for playing well together," says Kaz.

Don't show favouritism

Even if you think you never favour one child above another, Kaz says it can sometimes happen sub-consciously. "Give yourself time to think about how you may be showing favouritism, even without realising," she says. "I know a house where there are many photos of the first three children and virtually none of the fourth, who, even in adulthood, finds it deeply hurtful. Explain your methods so it's harder for your kids to accuse you of favouritism."

Ask for help

Along with asking friends and relatives for help with sibling rivalry issues - after all, they might've seen you wacking your little brother or sister over the head with a Barbie doll - seek help from a health professional. "If the fighting is really making family life unpleasant, ask your GP for a referral to a family psychologist," advises Kaz. "Better to get independent help now than to live with this for the 15 or 20 years."

Foster good role models

While older children are obviously able to take on more complex tasks and instructions, Kaz warns against saddling older kids with responsibilities, which can cause resentment. "A child under 12 can't be expected to look after another child and be fully responsible, for however short a time," she says. "Try instead to foster a sense that the older kid is protective, smart and a helpful role model for their little sibling, and you're proud of them for that."