What does the Bible say about Marriage?

As you might have noticed this post is going to be about what the Bible says about marriage. This is a deep subject… I am not trying to say I know “something” more than anyone else. I only know what God decides to reveal to me and you only know what he decides to reveal to you.

So, I am going to try to write this with all walks of life in mind. Those who may be babies in the word and those who consider themselves eating meat. What food category this is? I consider it all of them, because I feel like I only know the surface of the matter, though I may be eating meat. I am simply recognizing the depth of this particular topic.

So lets dive in!

Every instance we read in the Bible, men got married to women… that’s all there is to it. Even when it came to the sons of God and daughters of men.

Lots of people say that marriage is between “one man” and “one woman”. However, there are several instances in the Bible which show one man being married to more than one woman. Abraham had Sarah, Haggar, and Keturah as wives. Jacob had Leah and Rachel as wives, Bilhah and Zilpah were also under his care and bare him sons.

I think this one-to-one is commonly misconceived, maybe because of Adam and Eve and then later on in 1 Timothy 3:2 when it speaks about bishops and 1 Timothy 3:12 when it speaks about deacons. (More info in Titus 1:6-7 about bishops.) From my findings, the scripture never says “one man” should be the husband of “one wife”, only these particular offices in the church have this requirement.

As a side note, I am not saying go against laws and marry more than one woman, because I believe every man is subject to the higher powers (Romans 13:1). We must obey laws those higher powers enforce which don’t go against God and handle things similarly to the way Daniel, Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego did when it comes down to it.

The Relationship

In Genesis we see God laying out the marriage relationship, who is and isn’t a part of that relationship.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

This cleaving was done with his wife. It doesn’t say he does this with another woman or anyone else in the world. It’s point blank in my opinion. The parents don’t participate… and you can thank Jesus for that.

Digressing only slightly on that topic of Adam and Eve being husband and wife: Thanks to Twitter I learned there may be an argument they had kids before they were married. We know they were husband and wife in Genesis 3:8, 17, 20, 21. They didn’t have kids until Genesis 4:1. Thank you Twitter users for causing me to study that. :)

The Specifics

The specifics here are about the relationship of marriage and how we are supposed to be towards our spouse. We will start in Ephesians 5:22.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:22-24

So this is referring to the wife, the bride of Christ, the church. It is showing the comparison with marriage. The wife (or church) must be submissive to her husband as the husband is head of the wife. (affirming verse 1 Corinthians 11:3) And lets not forget who the church is.

Now, you may ask how is a wife submissive? Great question! When we as a church are told to do something, we ought to do it. It is practicing Godliness and doing what we are told from the word of God. This is how we are making ourselves subject to Jesus.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Ephesians 5:25-27

This is talking about how Jesus loves the church. First we submit and do the word, then Jesus can love us in return.

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

Proverbs 8:17

He gave himself to purchase the church with his blood according to Acts 20:28. Proverbs 31:10 says the price of a virtuous woman is far above rubies. He used his blood to purchase it! And he did all of this because he wants to have a virtuous woman with no spot or wrinkle.

A pure woman. Holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:28-31

Here, it is speaking of men loving their wives as their own bodies, why? Because they are one flesh, not a whole flesh or two halves, but one flesh. This is reiterating the Genesis 2:24 scripture, being one flesh, joined together. We become one with the Lord. So we, as men, are to do the same with our wives. I feel like it is put plain enough “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh”.

And after all of that this happens:

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Ephesians 5:32-33

This is a mystery… you’re kidding right? Heh, he isn’t kidding, this whole passage was talking about Christ and the church. But he ends it with “nevertheless”, showing this is the example Christ gave for us to go by, for us men to take care of our wives and to love them. But this also shows how we should act as a church to our Lord Jesus Christ.

By no means will I say this is all there is to these Ephesians scriptures, however, for the time being, this is what I have to write about it regarding this topic. We will move on to 1 Peter now.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7

Just reading through some of this stuff here it is like a complete affirmation of the Ephesians verses. Wives submitting and subjecting themselves to their own husbands. This is completely what the church needs to be doing to Jesus. We should chaste our conversation with fear.

We shouldn’t adorn ourselves outwardly but inwardly. Then it goes to the price again! However, I would say this is definitely speaking to us on an individual bases as the men should honour our wife being a weaker vessel and being an heirs together of the grace of life, otherwise our prayers will be hindered.

The “Other” Specifics

At this point I feel like the relationship and specifics of the relationship have been covered well with scriptures. This next section is regarding other things about marriage which aren’t normally spoken about.

Starting here:

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

1 Corinthians 7:1-3

Fornicating is sex with someone whom you are not married to. To keep from fornicating every man should have his on wife and every woman her own husband. When married, sex isn’t a bad thing. Due benevolence = play nice, don’t be mean

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

1 Corinthians 7:4

Here it shows who has the power over who’s body, it presents it this way for the next verse.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

1 Corinthians 7:5

To politely put this: No one is allowed to have a headache. Yes, that means when the spouse is wanting something, then defrauding is not an option. The headache scenario is, “No not tonight baby, I have a headache.”. It doesn’t matter whether or not the headache is real. Now there is a time and a purpose to not having sex. Except there is consent for a time for fasting and prayer, though it says to come together again so Satan is unable to tempt you for lack of continent, or constraint. The married couple agree together to fast and put the flesh under subjection.

But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

1 Corinthians 7:6-7

The first part may seem strange, permission vs commandment. The permission here is the fact that he wasn’t commanded to write it, it was something additional. Not that it isn’t the word of God. It just wasn’t something required of him to put in. Nevertheless, it is still truth.

The second part is he would prefer all men be as himself, the next verse shows “unmarried”. Every man has his proper gift, thats a straight forward statement.

I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

It is good to stay unmarried like Paul. But if they can’t contain, then it is better to marry than to burn. The “burn” part of this line would go upon the Matthew 5 verses about body parts offending thee, but that is another article for another day. So rather than fornicating and burning, get married so it isn’t fornicating! Just don’t forget about the things earlier in this article.

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Okay, this part is straight forward. And reading the rest of the information in the chapter I think the remaining can be understood from reading it. If you have any more questions about this chapter, then please email me here.

The FunFacts!

Here are some Marriage FunFacts!

If you find a wife, then you find a good thing! Oh and you obtain favour of the Lord, like that is small or something. Who wouldn’t want to obtain favour of the Lord?

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22

According to 1 Kings 11:3 Solomon had seven hundred wifes and princesses and three hundred concubines. That isn’t really anything to brag about because the surrounding show that his wives lead to his demise.

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

1 TImothy 5:8

Who wants to be worse than an infidel? If you get married and have kids, then providing for all of them is a requirement. :) This kind of ties into having more than one wife as well. In the Bible when Boaz was trying to obtain Ruth, the original fella setup to marry her couldn’t handle the cost for providing for Ruth. Boaz was able to provide for her and as a result took the responsibility. The book of Ruth as a reference to that story.

For knowing what intimacies are “permitted” in marriage, then read the book “Song of Solomon”. Some of that may make you blush. Well, at least they made my wife blush.

What does the Bible say about Marriage : Recap

Adam and Eve were husband and wife.

Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as the church does to Christ. This is done by doing what he asks.

Husbands loves your wives, as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. Love your wives as yourselves.

No headaches! Unless you are fasting, but then it isn’t really a headache.

Instead of doing the wrong thing and burning, do the right thing and get married.

Obtain favour, men provide for your family, and Song of Solomon.

That is the majority of what the Bible says about marriage. If there is something you want to talk about specific, then shoot me an email.

This is the first of a series called “What does the Bible say about…” and it will have it’s own resource page dedicated to these types of articles.