This Cane Is Actually a Million-Volt Stun Baton

Next time you feel like mugging grandpa, think twice. He may look grey and infirm, but he’s packing a million volts of incapacitating, jaw-clenching self-defense. From Gizmodo:

This ZAP Stun Cane features an adjustable walking cane, an ultra-bright LED flashlight and a stun gun with an unheard of 1-million volt charge that will knock down any attacker. In case you’re actually in need of a cane for non-shock attack reasons, the Zap Cane is adjustable from 32 to 36 inches, and can support up to 250 pounds. The thought of a 250 pound person waving around a million volt stun gun is terrifying and incredible. Especially if the built-in LED flashlight is also turned on.

Seriously, a one million volt charge? Is grandpa being mugged by cattle? Raging bulls? Oh, and just in case you’re hankerin’ to order one of these babies, they can’t be shipped to Hawaii, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, or Pennsylvania.

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