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do you think there was some kind of "hidden intention" in Jimmylane's reply?

Lol, I don't think that. But, he must have some bitterness towards the state to talk such crap. $75k is enough where you wouldnt have to worry about "living hand to mouth". I think renting would help you because I assume you wouldn't have the burden of property taxes which is a huge issue. And not paying car insurace is very costly, too. Plus with the $10k start-up costs I think you will be fine. A large part of NJ is exceptionally nice for raising kids most areas are very nice and there are pockets that are just plain undesireable, like anywhere. I just find his post irresponsible in that it was basically a falsehood. Maybe he didn't read your post closely enough to know that you said you would be renting?

Anyway, if the job offer is an opportunity for your husband to advance, please don't discount NJ. I think if you read these boards long enough you will see that there is a lot of strong feelings for the state, more pro than con.

Sorry, I had a phone call and didn't finish my post. Jimmylane..That was an unbelievably inaccurate statement that you made.

"living hand to mouth" wasn't bad enough, but to add insult to injury you further stated that "nj is not a nice place to raise children" .

I think almost everyone would agree that is those are two off-the-wall statements. Are you happy that OP has decided against the move? Gee, I wonder why.

you wouldn't have acquired that snide attitude in NJ, would you? i hold to the statement, "living hand to mouth" for a family of four. at least one poster here seems to agree that life wouldn't be so easy on that salary in NJ either. and the others steered NotSure to Central, NJ, where their commute would be at least an hour! Moderator cut: personal comments

the comments below aren't personal insults against me from NJTina?? and to add insult to injury, she posted them after i provided a balanced rationale to NotSure, with which Notsure agreed. and you're going to let her leave those comments up but censor mine?? trainwreck, it's called fundamental fairness, practice it will ya. consider that 99% of what you erased was not a "personal attack," surely ye jest.

from NJTINA:
"But, he must have some bitterness towards the state to talk such crap"

"I just find his post irresponsible in that it was basically a falsehood"

"I think almost everyone would agree that is those are two off-the-wall statements."

somebody here mentioned Central Jersey as a viable place for you and your family to live, but commuting from there will mean that you're going to sit in traffic on the Garden State Parkway (south) that looks like a parking lot in the morning. i don't recommend it.

some parts of hackensack are actually very nice---they have a huge cluster of apartments surrounding the hospital, which is one of the top hospitals in the region. medical professionals live in them too, so that neighborhood tends to be quiet and fairly safe. many buildings have a door person as well. be prepared to spend minimum $1600 for a 2-bedroom there.

i recommend Rutherford, East Rutherford, Carlstadt, Woodridge, or Hasbrouck Heights. East Rutherford is your best bet in terms of cost, and only a 15-minute drive. if you're considering buying a home, i just read an article in the local paper announcing a huge property tax increase with the exception of E. Rutherford. something to consider. as far as school systems, carlstadt just put up a new K-8 building for 38 million. yet, don't be fooled by the big homes going up there. the high school is regionalized with E. Rutherford and police patrol the halls. drugs/fighting seem to be a big problem there.

overall, i wouldn't recommend moving here. with 70K, you could end up living hand-to-mouth, especially considering you have a family and kids. if you were single, i'd say go for it.

my advice is to stay where you are. nj is not a nice place for kids to grow up in. you sound happy and it appears that you like where you live now. don't be lured by money alone, you could come to regret it later on.

best,

Hackensack is north of Central Jersey not south and from the area's i mentioned you would take the turnpike north to 80 w
The only traffic would be around 14 to 15w

What part of jersey are you talking about when you say it is not a nice place for kids ?

Hackensack is north of Central Jersey not south and from the area's i mentioned you would take the turnpike north to 80 w
The only traffic would be around 14 to 15w

What part of jersey are you talking about when you say it is not a nice place for kids ?

when i said it's not a "nice place for kids," what i meant is that there are much better places to raise your kids than NJ. what i'm talking about is the quite limiting "physical space" afforded to children that has become the norm. have you seen the size of a 'typical' backyard in the hackensack area? decent for a small dog, perhaps, but for two kids? where's the running room? where can they build a tree house or take a walk in the woods -- experience nature in that sense of discovery and growth? in hackensack? rochele park or saddle brook?? the ever growing complex of suburban sprawl and it's malignant outgrowth of gated communities, apartment complexes on every other block, another walgreens or CVS, the growing traffic problem, has a tendency to push up against the boundaries, and the trend is for children to spend more time in the house on the internet or in some other sedentary role.

this talk about NJ having such a great public education system is a half-truth
---sure, teachers are paid well and many students go to college straight from high school, but we know that that measure alone doesn't tell the whole picture. obesity, the increasing rate of children taking anti-depressants, receiving counseling, therapy, (mom and dad included), calls into question, in my mind, the so-called benefits of living in the metropolitan area. and the lifestyle here is demanding on both adults and children. while children are devoting countless hours in after school activities to beef up their background to get into the "best" school (most of the time), there's something dreadfully lost in the process of being a kid. that's not to say it's necessarily perfect elsewhere. and yet to disregard the "possibility" that the NJ/NY lifestyle is, by it's very nature, oppressive, is to shirk responsibility when it comes to informing outsiders about the pros and cons of living there.

i was referring to northern jersey especially, but also central jersey and parts of southern jersey.

You are right, there probably are better places to raise kids
The only place i can compare it to is Brooklyn and compared to Brooklyn New jersey is heaven... I like the fact the kids have a yard with their own pool
The kids get to hang out on the front porch instead of the front stoop.
And although the schools do need improvement , the schools beat brookln
hands down

Where in Mexico do you live? It may surprise you, but some school systems in Mexico are far better than schools here in the states, especially in math and science. If your kids are lucky enough to place into one of these top schools then stay in Mexico.

NJ has some of the best schools and worst schools in the states. If you are looking to stretch that 75k you will most likely not end up in the best school districts. Your kids will want to participate in after school activities and sports as well, so the costs will add up fast. They may also be pressured into thinking that they need name brand clothing, I-PODs, I-Phones, and luxuries in order to fit in at school. Unlike Mexico, there are no school uniforms, and what you wear can even sometimes effect your school experience depending on the wealth of the other pupils. It's tough growing up, but even tougher in Jersey.

75k is really not a lot for Jersey. Health, dental insurance, and benefits are a joke. Expect co-payments and out of pocket costs for medical care. Tolls, gas, food, rent, insurance, and taxes really will make life hard.

Evaluate the move. It sounds like it could be a great opportunity or a dreaded curse depending on your situation.

Where in Mexico do you live? It may surprise you, but some school systems in Mexico are far better than schools here in the states, especially in math and science. If your kids are lucky enough to place into one of these top schools then stay in Mexico.

NJ has some of the best schools and worst schools in the states. If you are looking to stretch that 75k you will most likely not end up in the best school districts. Your kids will want to participate in after school activities and sports as well, so the costs will add up fast. They may also be pressured into thinking that they need name brand clothing, I-PODs, I-Phones, and luxuries in order to fit in at school. Unlike Mexico, there are no school uniforms, and what you wear can even sometimes effect your school experience depending on the wealth of the other pupils. It's tough growing up, but even tougher in Jersey.

75k is really not a lot for Jersey. Health, dental insurance, and benefits are a joke. Expect co-payments and out of pocket costs for medical care. Tolls, gas, food, rent, insurance, and taxes really will make life hard.

Evaluate the move. It sounds like it could be a great opportunity or a dreaded curse depending on your situation.

i completely agree with you about that salary being inadequate. but NJTina responded to my same sentiment alleging that i "must have some bitterness towards the state to talk such crap." are you bitter too?

You are right, there probably are better places to raise kids
The only place i can compare it to is Brooklyn and compared to Brooklyn New jersey is heaven... I like the fact the kids have a yard with their own pool
The kids get to hang out on the front porch instead of the front stoop.
And although the schools do need improvement , the schools beat brookln
hands down

i see your point. but it's comparing apples and oranges. and nj kids don't normally sit on their front porch. more often they're on backyard decks BBQing comfortably sheltered from the rest of the neighborhood. it's interesting how the presence of a big rear deck and enclosed backyard is a staple of especially middle class neighborhoods, suggesting privacy and emerging affluence. perhaps sitting on those front stoops would do jersey kids some good.

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