Now that we have turned the page on 2012, proven that way too much emphasis was put on misinterpreted Mayan-mythology, and move head-long into 2013, there is really only one thing left to do. Take a gander back at 2012 and assign some year-awards of course! (Cause let’s be honest, nothing provides closure better than a bunch of subjective critiques about how everything shook out…)

As always, I go into these fully aware that I will forget a multitude of things, both good and bad, that occurred this year. For those, I apologize. Also, in the case of books, etc., I am encapsulating anything as “2012”if this year was the first time I myself encountered it. Highly scientific operation I’m running over here if ya can’t tell…

(Note…anything w/ a * was added by a friend. Clearly I would never pay money to go see Pitch Perfect by myself on a sunny Hawaiian afternoon. Just not happening.)

MOVIE OF THE YEAR

Skyfall.

I’ve already written about this film here recently, but must again give it its due. In a cinematic landscape that is now entirely dominated by (1) Sequels, (2) Comic book fare, (3) Novel adaptations, or (4) True events, this one stood out. It was different enough from previous works to seem original, broke ties w/ the last remaining characters from the cheesy-throwback James Bond movies, and make the characters seem completely fresh, despite 50+ years in the public eye.

This one came to down to a photo finish between SWATH and 21 Jump Street. The thing that ultimately kicked it this way? The fact that Chris Hemsworth is the actor Channing Tatum hopes to one day become. This one was originally recommended to me by Mama Stevens w/ the caveat “Surprisingly enjoyable.” Per usual, she was right. This one definitely isn’t going anywhere near the list above, but it more than held my attention for a couple of hours. In a thin cinematic year, can’t ask for much more than that.Honorable Mention: The Expendables 2, Chasing Mavericks, Red Dawn, Dredd*, Magic Mike* (A part of me died just typing that out), Lockout, 21 Jump Street, Big Miracle, Pitch Perfect*, Breaking Dawn*THE ROCKY V AWARD FOR MOVIE THAT NEVER HAPPENEDRock of AgesIt’s no secret that I am a huge fan of 80’s music. HUH-YUUUUGE. That being said, when I heard a film adaptation of this was coming out, I was intrigued. Not enough to put aside my moratorium on paying theater prices for a musical, but curious just the same.

Needless to say, I was glad I waited for redbox. Just a train wreck from start to finish. Bad acting, atrocious singing, horrendous costuming. I could rant for quite a while on this one. Instead, I’ll just hope you take my word and stay far away from it.

Honorable Mention: Jack Reacher, One for the Money*, Red Tails, John Carter, The Raven, Dark Shadows, Prometheus, Rock of Ages, Battleship (Tough year for Riggins. If you don’t understand that reference, you need to stop reading and go look up Friday Night Lights on Hulu right now), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Here Comes the Boom*SONG OF THE YEAR

We Are Young ~ fun.Two things pushed this song over the top for me (and to be fair, this was more of an “impossible to ignore” pick than “my own favorite”pick. I personally liked Some Nights infinitely better). First, this past summer I was back in the Midwest to play some mud volleyball. W/in the first twenty minutes we were there we heard this song three times performed three different ways. Hmm…Second, last spring the son of a co-worker graduated from Punahou, a very respectable private school here in Hawaii. Halfway through the ceremony the entire class did an impromptu flash mob sing-a-long to this song. You can even find it on YouTube. That’s SOY material if I’ve ever seen it.Honorable Mention: Set Fire to the Rain ~ Adele, Blow Me ~ Pink, Cruise ~ Florida-Georgia Line, Drive By ~ Train, Everybody Talks ~ Neon Trees, Ho Hey ~ The Lumineers, Home ~ Phillip Phillips*, Payphone ~ Maroon 5, Some Nights ~ fun., Springsteen ~ Eric Church, Beers Ago ~ Toby Keith, Wild Ones ~ Flo Rida, Something Bout A Truck ~ Kip MooreSONG THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN WRITTENSomebody That I Used to Know ~ Goyte

I am sorry, but I truly fail to see any upside in this song. The lyrics are harrowingly sad and the tune itself sounds like the soundtrack to a drug-induced bender that somehow stretches across three weeks in a shady Bangkok underworld. How exactly did this become a chart topper?Honorable Mention: Call Me Maybe ~ Carly Rae Jepsen, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together ~ Taylor Swift, Brokenhearted ~ Karmin, Boyfriend ~ Justin Bieber*, Gangnam Style ~ Psy, What Makes You Beautiful ~ One Direction*

At this point I realize that this is getting incredibly lengthen, so I’ll save everyone by switching to rapid-fire style…FAVORITE BOOK ~ Savages by Don WinslowLEAST FAVORITE ~ Life of Pi by Yann MartelGAME OF THE YEAR ~ Oklahoma 49 – West Virginia 48 (and yes, this was a college football score)UGLIEST GAME OF THE YEAR ~ Alabama 21 – LSU 0, BCS National ChampionshipATHLETE OF THE YEAR ~ Lebron James. There is simply no denying the man owned 2012. NBA Championship, Finals MVP, Olympic Gold, finally became the player we all feared he never would.ACTOR OF THE YEAR ~ Chris Hemsworth. WORST ACTOR OF THE YEAR ~ Tom Cruise/Taylor Kitsch (tie)ACTRESS OF THE YEAR ~ Amy AdamsWORST ACTRESS OF THE YEAR ~ Kristen StewartNEWCOMER OF THE YEAR ~ RGIII/Key & Peele/Luke Bryant (tie)STORY OF THE YEAR ~ Obama wins re-election.SADDEST LOSS OF THE YEAR ~ Andy Griffith/Neil Armstrong/Michael Clarke Duncan (tie)CATCHPHRASE OF THE YEAR ~ YOLO (which I personally despise)‘SIGN THAT MAKES ME WISH THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT’ OF THE YEAR ~ All things Honey Boo-BooEVENT OF THE YEAR ~ 2012 Summer OlympicsAnd w/ that, while I’m sure I could extend this list off into perpetuity, I shall stop. Hopefully the end of 2012 finds you all happy and well and 2013 brings w/ it more of the same...Malama Pono!!