If you have issues with anger or are dealing with someone who does, this is the place to come to for understanding and tips.
If you argue or fight, now you can learn how to resolve your differences peacefully and permanently.
Dealing with a difficult person? I can show you how to calm them down and gain their cooperation.
It's all quite simple, really.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Last week our country was shattered by yet another senseless
massacre of innocent people. A gunman opened fire inside Pulse, a crowded gay
nightclub in Orlando, Florida, early Sunday morning, leaving at least 49 people
dead in the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Gays have long been
targets of hate crimes throughout the world as have others as well. Heated
debates in Congress and among US citizens on gun control laws have been occurring
for years but as of late have intensified due to incidences such as this. Some
are calling for stricter laws while others insist guns are not the issue since
mass murderers will always find a way to maim and kill. The debate continues as
people seek to place blame and hold someone accountable. Was it a single
person? Did they have an accomplice? Was this the act of terrorists? Having a
target enables us to direct our anger at someone with the ultimate goal of
bringing that party or parties to justice. In doing so, we feel a momentary
sense of satisfaction having restored balance to society and on some level feel
a sense of power and control over our environment as well. Tougher gun laws,
more surveillance cameras, an increase in security personnel, and harsher
punishment for those convicted of such crimes are all considered possible deterrents
to these crimes.However, these only
provide a false sense of security for the root cause of such attacks is not
being addressed.

I live nowhere near Orlando yet on some level I must share
in the responsibility in this heinous act of violence perpetrated against God's
sacred children.And without intent to offend, I also extend that
responsibility to each and every one of us as well. Every thought entertained,
every word spoken, every action taken is energy, whether positive or negative.
And that energy extends throughout the world. The accumulation of every
molecule of energy produced by every individual across the planet culminates at
some time in some location and in some form. All of the anger, bitterness,
hatred, resentment, revenge, prejudice or disdain we have created in our hearts
and/or acted out against one other, is not limited to that moment in time nor
does that energy dissipate of its own free will. Energy is limitless, without boundaries.
What occurs in my home has the potential to impact others in the farthest
corners of the Earth. I have no control over it once I've put it out there.
It's like a dust particle in the wind: it will travel where it will, with no
influence by me or anyone else.

If any of us has ever:

~ Spoken unkindly about another (an individual or specific
group of people), deliberately hurt someone physically, emotionally,
psychologically or financially, taken our anger out on them and/or failed to
make amends, we are co conspirators of the Orlando tragedy.

~ If we have ever sought revenge on someone who hurt us or encouraged
others to get even with those who have mistreated them, if we have divided our
families, communities, or our country with inflammatory remarks or accusations,
we are co conspirators of the Orlando tragedy.

~ If we have held a grudge and chosen not to forgive those
who have wronged us, posted hate-filled or derogatory speech on social media, if
we have been disrespectful to family members, coworkers, or total strangers,
judged someone, or lied about another for our own personal gain, we are co conspirators of the Orlando tragedy.

Every act you and I commit sends the corresponding energy
out into the universe. Negative intensifies negative.

All the gun laws in
the world won't prevent another Orlando from happening when the root cause is
not how many guns we own nor the type of weapons that are available to us. The
cause of the heinous violence committed upon our brothers and sisters is a world
that is suffering from a extreme case of moral decay. A decay that stems from
the following:

1. A complete lack of respect for all human life. Mankind
has taken it upon themselves to relegate humanity into different categories of
worth and those on the lower end of the spectrum are subject to maltreatment at
the whim of the perpetrator.

2. Fear that propels humans to fight for control over one
another in order to preserve the self, their beliefs, and their ways of living
that differ from others.

3. Arrogance - a belief rooted in ego that denounces God's
authority and His Word and proclaims individual preferences as valid and
superior to that of the Divine's.

4. Lack faith in God that life is meant to unfold
organically rather than forced accordance with our requirements; that whatever
is in our life has purpose and value; to trust in a Divine Plan and a higher
purpose to each experience.

One does not have to believe in God to be a good person.
They only need to believe in the way
of God to live a moral life. That is, they must value all human life as equal;
respect and treat one another with kindness and dignity; accept and allow each
person their differences and uniqueness; forgive those who mistreated them,
whether deliberately or inadvertently; and to love without limits or
conditions. Only when you and I make the pledge in our hearts to live, not
merely preach, these qualities for all humanity will we ever see an end to such
senseless acts of violence inflicted upon God's precious creations. Until then,
we must all share in the responsibility for the loss of life in Orlando and
beyond.

I invite you to listen to a very inspiring song that
addresses how we can live more peaceful harmonious lives: Listen to God's Way @
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_P07K5G9qs.

OrderThe
Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Relationships are the most challenging aspect of life
whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply,
such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this:
more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in
part to unresolved differences. Yet it
is not imperative that our differences be resolved, for if they were then we
would all be in agreement with one another all of the time. Not only is that is
highly unlikely (or should I say, impossible)
but it would prove disadvantageous for healthy relationship as well.
Differences are actually wonderful opportunities for personal growth and with
some effort we can learn how to coexist successfully with one another in spite
of said disparities. Consider this: I'm a neat-freak; my husband is,
well...not. My style of decorating is simple but unique decor; his is early
garage sale. Yet neither of us has tried to convince nor argued with the other
to conform to our way of living. We each respect the other person's taste and
have found a way of blending them together. In some instances, we've each taken
specific areas of the house that exclusively showcase our unique style while
allowing our spouse space enough for theirs as well.

Acceptance: One
of the greatest sources of conflict between two parties is one or both person's
unwillingness to acceptthe other
exactly where they are in their journey through life. We complain that the
other party should be different (more ambitious, responsible, adventurous,
thoughtful, etc), should know better (how to treat people), should be more like
someone else (honest, hard-working, independent), and so on. We compare and
complain rather than accept and appreciate.

A great teacher recognizes that although her freshman class
is comprised of all fourteen year olds, each one has reached a different level
of maturity, has different interests and talents, and learns in their own
unique way and time. The teacher will customize her teaching strategy for each
child in such a way as to maximize their learning experience in school. She
builds a relationship with each designed to foster a healthy learning
environment as well. We would be wise to model our personal and professional
relationships after the teacher's strategy.

Respect: the
second key component to supporting healthy relationships. Respect's universal
definition, according to Webster's Dictionary, is "to value; to place
value on". When we respect one another, we treat them with the dignity
given to a fine work of art. On every level, we express how much we value and
appreciate them as they are - as a friend, coworker, spouse, or simple as a
member of our universal family. We resist the urge to pressure or shame them
into being someone they're not or behaving in a manner that contradicts where
they are in their life's journey of is not consistent with what they must learn
in that moment.

One of mankind's primary needs is to feel important, to be
recognized for the unique person they are and to be held in high regard. One
who is treated this way by others can more easily deal with the challenges that
are a natural part of every relationship. When one feels unworthy, devalued or
unaccepted the pain they experience can easily convert to anger as they fight
for the recognition they deserve.

You can bring out the best in people or the worst. Always
encourage their goodness to shine so that all may benefit from their gifts.

OrderThe
Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @
http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

According to psychologist
Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an
emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's
accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you
get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure elevate, as does the level of
energy hormones adrenalin and noradrenalin."Anger can be triggered by thousands of
external events but in reality, every feeling we have is the direct result of
our thought process. Therefore, whatever thoughts you are formulating about the
event you are witnessing or experiencing actually leads to feelings of anger.
For example, a driver cuts me off on the highway. I can say to myself (my thoughts),
"This guy's an idiot!" and trigger feelings of rage (intense anger).
Or, I can choose to express relief that I was able to avoid a collision.
"Thank God I have quick reflexes!", thus producing feelings of
gratitude and good fortune.

Nationally renowned
speaker Israel Kalman, MS, offers further insight into anger and defines it as
an emotional drive to defeat anyone or anything that we perceive as a threat. In
this regard, anger alerts us to the fact that we, or someone or something else,
is perceived to be in danger. Adrenalin and noradrenalin prepare us for the
flight or fight mode as a means to restore our safety.

Whenever anger
arises, we have several options available to us as to how to handle it. First
and foremost, we can train ourselves to monitor our thoughts, thus choosing
those that produce the most advantageous emotions. I can teach myself to see
the goodness and benefits of whatever enters my life as opposed to always
seeking the negative. While this may not work 100% of the time, it can become
our default method of experiencing life.

Secondly, we can
choose to control anger in the moment. This can prove beneficial under certain
circumstances where remaining calm is more advantageous than an immediate
expression of our outrage. In a recent incident, a woman was on the verge of
being raped. Her husband, naturally enraged, attacked the assailant in an
effort to protect his wife.However, his
rage was overpowering and he eventually killed the attacker. Now facing
manslaughter charges, had he momentarily controlled his rage, he most likely
could have avoided such devastating consequences.

Thirdly, once the
anger has manifest, we can choose to safely express it verbally or choose
benign ways of expending it, such as through physical activity. Readjusting our
expectations, forgiving those who have offended us, accepting that which we
have no control over in life, appreciating every person and event that enters
our life as a necessary part of our journey, and prayer are just some of the
techniques that help alleviate anger in any of its stages.

In conclusion,
remember that anger is an emotion and like all other emotions is neither good
or bad, right or wrong. It’s what we do with our anger and how we manage it
that makes it a motivating force for positive change or a destructive one that
creates additions problems in our lives.

Remember the
formula called T~E~C~O Magic: your Thoughts create your Emotions
which cause you to make certain Choices.And everything we say or do has an Outcome. If you are not happy
with the results of how you handled your anger, changeyour thought process and everything that
follows will change as well. Negative thoughts ultimately produce negative
results; positive = positive.

OrderThe
Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @
http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Being a part of any relationship for a period of time
affords an individual the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn't with
each respective person. I may be able to discuss politics with Uncle Joe but
Aunt Sue? Never! He's open minded to other people's views and enjoys a lively
debate. Aunt Sue, on the other hand, is opinionated, is a right-fighter (one
who always has to be right as Dr. Phil refers to them), and becomes nasty with
those who disagree with her. I can joke around with my husband and refer to him
as my "hairless honey" but my friend Steve is very sensitive about
his lack of locks.

One of my favorite topics to discuss is God. I'm madly in
love with Him and like a teenage who's fallen in love for the first time, I
can't stop thinking and talking about Him. But try to have a discussion about
our Lord with a defensive non believer and you may be in for a rough ride. (I learned
that lesson the hard way on facebook - some of them can get down-right ugly!)

We all know what topics we can discuss with certain people
and which ones to avoid. We also know what turns a harmless discussion into a
vicious argument. (A disagreement is
not synonymous with argument by the
way. The first is simply a difference of opinion. The latter engenders
hostility and sometimes aggression.) Granted, there are those who love the
drama - they seek out opportunities to incite a good fight. I'm not one of
them. While I enjoy a good debate, I abhor arguing and will do my best to avoid
it. Then, too, there are some who engage in a discussion and wonder why every
conversation results in quarreling and hurt feelings. "People are so
sensitive! Everything you say they take the wrong way." They fail to
recognize their own contributions to the contamination of the dialogue.

Here are some
surefire tips to convert any conversation into an argument:

Know what issues the other
party is sensitive to or passionate about. Engage one of those topics for
discussion.

Know what to say or do to
provoke them, being certain to push their buttons whenever possible.

Infuse a hefty dose of
criticism, sarcasm, and insults. Insert a few expletives and round it off
with a threat or two for good measure.

Always be right. Never
admit to being mistaken about anything.

Be as arrogant and close
minded as possible. Never listen to or consider the other person's
position.

Refuse to engage in highly
sensitive or provoking topics. Don't initiate or participate in them
regardless of how much the other party persists.

Stay out of other people's
business. If it does not concern you do not be concerned.

If necessary, walk away
before the conversation turns nasty.

Remain open and respectful
of the other person's position. Acknowledge their feelings, beliefs, and
needs even if you don't understand or agree with them.

Be sensitive and kind but
firm when necessary. When speaking,
be crystal clear and judiciously concise.

Carefully choose your
words, tone of voice, and attitude. Always consider how they would sound
to you if the other party said them.

If the situation becomes
heated, know what to say or do to calm things down. A simple validation is
often enough. "I can see how important this issue is to you."

Don't take personal
offense to what the other party is saying. Their behavior mirrors their
inner self and is in no way a reflection of you.

Discussions are a vital aspect of every healthy relationship
and enable individuals to acquire greater knowledge of one another, the issue
at hand, to find resolution whenever necessary. They also serve as a means to strengthen the rapport between all parties. With
a few simple techniques and a bit of restraint, anyone can keep a dialogue
civil and productive.

OrderThe Secret
Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @
http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

About Me

Janet Pfeiffer, international motivational speaker and award-winning author has appeared on CNN, Lifetime, ABC News, The 700 Club, NBC News, Fox News, The Harvest Show, Celebration, TruTV and much more. She is a contributor to Ebru Today TV and hosts her own radio show, Anger 911, on www.w4cy.com.
Her latest book is the highly acclaimed The Secret Side of Anger and is endorsed by NY Times bestselling author, Dr. Bernie Siegel.
A consultant to corporations including AT&T, U.S. Army, U.S. Postal Service and Hoffman-LaRoche, Janet is NJ State certified in domestic violence, an instructor at a battered women’s shelter and founder of The Antidote to Anger Group. She specializes in anger management, conflict resolution and bullying. Janet is a member of EAPA, MVP and Vision in Motion Speaker’s Bureaus and Network Plus.
Janet@PfeifferPowerSeminars.com
www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com.