So many of these items are $1 at places like Target. It made it exceptionally easy.

Those of us who are lucky enough to have gifts to give and receive should all consider giving the equivalent of one extra gift (in cash or goods) to someone in need. Youth shelters need MASSIVE help right now. So do food banks. Don’t forget pet food for the animal shelters too. And if you have no money, give an hour of your time to help sort others’ donations. I promise you will be glad you did.

The ultimate gift to me would be for my whole family to spend a few hours together, helping to make someone else’s day a bit better. I think I’ll suggest it! Who’s joining me?

What is interesting is the anger. It’s not just the obvious anger at the loss, the world, etc.

I’ve been experiencing a totally different anger. It comes out when well-meaning friends say things like, “I totally know how you feel because my <parent/friend/relation/favorite barista/whatever> had chemo for <insert type of cancer here that’s got a near-100% cure rate>.” I find myself shutting down, because my first inclination is to scream in their faces, “NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!”

Pancreatic Cancer is such a different animal from most other cancers. Unlike most cancers, there’s really not much hope of beating it. There is about a 99% chance that it will kill my dad. It’s just a matter of how long we have left with him. If I try to talk about how it feels to be on limited time, people say, “think positive, don’t say that!” It feels like they’re encouraging me to be in denial for THEIR comfort. It feels like most people don’t want to understand. It’s too scary to think of our mortality.

I know people mean well. I know they don’t really know what to say. Sometimes, the best thing to say is “how are you doing?” But only if you mean it, and are willing to hear the answer. Just STFU and just listen. No need to say you’re sorry, or try to comfort. Just asking is enough.

Bring a dessert or appetizer, homemade or store-bought, to share. Or just bring a gift and come enjoy the company of other Seattleites. We will be collecting for three great causes:

1. Foster Kids: As many know, the State of Washington has had its budget slashed this year, and as a result cannot provide Christmas for children in foster care or in low-income homes as they have in previous years. They are depending on the community to come through with some help. We are hoping to raise gifts for the kids(all ages up to 18), and gift cards (target, grocery, etc) for the parents and foster parents. These are local families who are part of our community and need a helping hand.

If you’re not in Seattle or cannot attend but would like to help, please click the paypal button below, and put “benefit” in the donation description. I will ensure the money is donated to the organizations above. If you’d like to specify one of the three, please do that as well.