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Mark, I'm glad that you are feeling better about things and it sucks that seemingly innocent "screw ups" are treated like you killed someone. I think employers need to remember that most of us are not doctors--someone's life is usually NOT at risk here. We screw up, we fix it, we move on.

Very, very, very true. There's very little I can screw up on that can't be remedied by a correction in the next issue. It's embarrassing, sure, but shit happens and in the long run, even the worst gaffes are not the big deal they may seem to be in the moment. The import of what's basically trivial stuff fades over time.

"Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

Very, very, very true. There's very little I can screw up on that can't be remedied by a correction in the next issue. It's embarrassing, sure, but shit happens and in the long run, even the worst gaffes are not the big deal they may seem to be in the moment. The import of what's basically trivial stuff fades over time.

Thanks...but in the world of retirement plan consulting, where the rich want to be as rich as possible and want the poor to be as poor as possible, you get crazy situations like this, where clients are so anal...especially in New York. Did you know that depending on the plan, an owner of a company making $150,000 or $200,000 can get a contribution of $30, 35K (and there are special plans for highly compensated employees where they can get more) while some schmo making $20,000 will have to be happy with $600, unless they defer into their 401(k), but how on G-d's green earth could someone making $20,000 afford to withhold money into a 401(k)???? I see 55, 60 year olds with account balances of maybe a few thousand...how they can retire on that I have no clue. It's really depressing.

And there are clients here who are friends of the president who we don't do non-discrimination testing, or the last defense so the rich don't get too rich, simply b/c they're friends of the president. Therefore, the wealthy owners can contribute as much as they fucking want and give the working drones squat...Well, these "friends" are now getting audited, so they'll get their come-uppance :twisted:

This is just a random question, but would your family be supportive if you were to quit that job, with no job lined up while you look for something that is a better fit? I worked at a job where I was basically verbally abused all the time for things beyond my control and I was on the verge of quitting with no job lined up, when thankfully, my current opportunity came along. When your mental health needs are put on the line like that, it isn't worth it sticking around. I mean, there has to be something else out there that you can do that will make you feel happy. Even if it's not in your direct field.........

This is just a random question, but would your family be supportive if you were to quit that job, with no job lined up while you look for something that is a better fit? I worked at a job where I was basically verbally abused all the time for things beyond my control and I was on the verge of quitting with no job lined up, when thankfully, my current opportunity came along. When your mental health needs are put on the line like that, it isn't worth it sticking around. I mean, there has to be something else out there that you can do that will make you feel happy. Even if it's not in your direct field.........

Nope...I'll never hear the end of it. Besides, there are so few jobs that I have the "direct qualifications" for that the interviews will be very sporadic...

I haven't really been able to contribute myself...I've been working in retirement admin and I don't have a DIME in 401(k). Granted, I was saving for grad school and a car for grad school, but it's terrible. In the past, there were defined benefit formulae that were actuarially derived and gave everyone a fair share. Now, the employee is essentially responsible for their own retirement...if you're lucky, you may have a match (which in most of these plans, isn't that great...maybe 25-50% of the first 6% of salary), but you're pretty much on your own. I'm really ashamed to work in this field, and to make matters worse, I'm probably paid less than any other employee in the financial sector.

At least as a scientist, I could help make the world a better place...by understanding how storms work, which would ultimately make the world more informed. Even as a cat modeler, while most of the clients are wealthy individuals, I don't see how I'm screwing the working people like I am now.

And as we speak, there's another plan I have to work on which refuses to meet the IRS guidelines and give a minimum contribution to the working stiffs. But the president wants to be nice to the owner$, so we're screwing them out again...

Now, the employee is essentially responsible for their own retirement...if you're lucky, you may have a match (which in most of these plans, isn't that great...maybe 25-50% of the first 6% of salary), but you're pretty much on your own.

Yeah, my employer doesn't contribute at all.

I could help make the world a better place...ultimately make the world more informed.

These are key features for me, myself, so I hear you.

"Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

I already told my dad I got rejected last night, so at least I don't have to deal with telling him when I know I get the rejection. He didn't say anything...thank goodness, since I couldn't deal with anything related to my job situation last night.

I hope I am not overstepping my bounds by saying this, but this is just an observation from some of the posts you've written about your Dad:

Is your dad aware of the struggle you go through at work, even more so than most of us do, because of your Aspergers? I don't know how much that plays into your having difficulty finding a job, but it seems to me that your dad may be in denial of this factor. I think your dad needs to get counseling!! It sounds like he is trying to deal with your struggles by trying to normalize your situation as much as possible and he thinks that if you get a job everything will be peachy keen. I know people who have other disabilities and it definately plays a big part in them getting a "good job". I don't think it's something that can be ignored.

Easy Does It!

Take some deep breaths. This is pins and needles time. You want to shout yes, I'm free! But knowing that you might not get this job (or just found out that you weren't selected) and be stuck with the job you have is not easy. So pat yourself on the back. It's okay to feel this way. Youíve had a hard couple of days. Even if you don't get the job, life will continue! The main thing is to take it easy. Treat yourself to a movie or take out some food. Take a hot shower or bath. Tomorrow is another day. If you don't get this job, continue in the one you have. Donít worry about what your father thinks. Youíre doing a terrific job holding down your current job no matter what happened at work. Follow Winter Stormís advice:

Originally Posted by Winter Storm

What I'd suggest you do is a little personal PR work. See if you can schedule a brief meeting with your supervisor to discuss what happened. Admit what you were at fault for and how you can correct the situation or prevent it from happening again. Allow them to openly talk to you about whatever concerns they might have been having about your performance and you assure them of what you're going to do to improve your performance and your work relationship with them.

It may help you feel more confident in your abilities to take control of the situation and show them you are responsible enough to fix your mistakes.

I should, but I'm kinda scared....because I'm almost certain the answer is no. At least with a rejection letter, at least I can't fume at the hiring manager. If they say no to me over the phone, I might blow a gasket and say stuff that will haunt me later...especially given the fact that my opportunities are running very low now.

On the other hand...I'm preparing for the worst now, so I guess my reaction may not be as bad...

You need to have some confidence, which I know can be difficult when the jobs you are looking for are so specialized. I'll send you a PM...