newborn and toddler...wearing problems

04-13-2008, 07:21 AM

Howdy Mamas.

THe other tread about infant car seats has me thinking. I use mine if my son is asleep already in his seat and up here in New England w/ a toddler running around and preferring to play in the snow rather than get in the car, I need to have my son already strapped in safely so I can get him in the car out of the cold fast so I can then help my daughter in the car. I find it very difficult to get my 32-33 lb daughter into her carseat while wearing my son in my wrap.

So..I was then thinking more about my own use of wraps/carriers/slings.

I have a Mai Tai, Maya ring sling and a Moby wrap. My son is 3 months and 16 lbs and my daughter is 26 months.

I wear my son when out at the park, the mall or when he is fussy at home.

My problem? Well, I have a hard time wearing him when I'm trying to play w/ my daughter or just do things my daughter needs (i.e. the car seat example up above). She wants to be lifted up and down, for me to be on the floor and to use both hands to dress and undress her dolls, etc. When I wear him and try to do these things, he gets very upset with me. The Moby seems to be the most supportive for him and seems to keep him happier, but I still can't figure out how I'm supposed to wear him and play w/ my daughter physically or even do household chores w/o upsetting him. He likes me to be upright and moving constantly.

I read about so many of you other moms who wear the neborns/infants all day long. How do you do it? Does the child eventually give up fussing about it and or does he eventually like it? Sometimes he'll when I wear him out in public and it takes all my concentration on him to make him happy and then I'm stressed because I'm not giving my toddler the full attention she needs for both nurturing touch and her safety.

I feel comfortable that I have my baby carriers on correctly...

Any advice and wearing my infant more at home so I can do household chores and play w/ my daughter?

Are you wearing him cradle style most of the time? Because if he likes to be upright, just like my son does too, than that could be the problem. My son preferred to be upright from the beginning. So, I'd put him in the carriers upright. When he was very little and had little head control, I'd often have a hand on his head while wearing him and playing with my daughter. The rest of the time, I was able to just wear him and the carrier offered enough head support. I also worked on back carries early on, so that I could really have my full front for my daughter and for household chores. It took practice and then some more practice, but I got it down. At the age of your baby, he was worn all the time, either in the front or in the back. At home it was usually the back, and when out and about it was the front. I particularly liked the mei tai for back carries, because it was much easier to do a back carry with it at that age, than a wrap was. A wrap back carry became much easier when he was about 8 months old.

Also, if he's not used to being in a carrier, it may take a little time for him to get used to it. You may need to play around with the different carriers you have to see which one and what carry he likes most.

Using a carseat is not in itself bad. It's a tool that you use when needed. I think the problem becomes when the baby is always in the carseat, or bouncing seat, or swing or the floor and spends more time in those tools than worn. So, if you are using the carseat or whatever once in a while and when truly needed, then don't feel bad. Once you get a hang of the carriers you have and more comfortable doing carries in them, it will come natural to you to just put it on like clothing.

Have you tried to carry him on your back? I started to wear dd on my back in Mei Tai when she was about 6 weeks/6-7 kilos. Backcarrying really helped me alot in coping with these everyday challenges you describe!

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My DS definitely likes to be upright. Something about the cradle position that just makes him think 'FOOD'!!! and then when he doesn't get mommy's milk immediately, we have a very unhappy little boy!

So, he is held upright facing me (or my husband if he is wearing him) I usually use the Moby and put his legs thru (straight down) because he didn't seem to be comfortable (complained alot) when I had him in the froggy position. My husband prefers the MaiTai and does wear him in the froggy position.

I would LOVE to carry my son on my back, but I haven't figured out how to put him on there myself. I should take out our API chapter's Tummy2Tummy DVD and review the various back carries for a young infant and then practice on my daughter's Elmo or something....

I used to carry my daughter on my back before I got pregnant and loved it. She was about 10 months or so before I started trying the back carry...I'll have to learn a different method for getting my son on my back though...the way I got my daughter on my back required her cooperation! :-)

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It's a bit harder with a younger baby, but totally doable. Like I said, I had to practice and practice, but then really started to feel comfortable doing it. I started back carries when he was 3 weeks old, using a mei tai. Not sure if this will work, but here's a picture.

Kelley from Kozy has great directions here on doing a infant back carry with a mei tai.