Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICERS?

Key Excerpt:The man, who apparently had been drinking, was in the lift bucket of
the Genie Boom with an unopened six-pack of beer and a bag of beef
jerky when police pulled the vehicle over. He was clocked at 2 mph.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

CONFESSIONS OF A STEALTH BLOGGERETTE

Last night, I decided to test my mental skills by participating in the online screening for potential Jeopardy contestants. Here is what I learned: If you want to feel like a Big Stupid Moron, you can't go wrong trying out for Jeopardy.

The way it works is, you get 15 seconds to read the question and type in your answer. This seems like a reasonable amount of time before the test begins. But when you read a question that says "When the x axis is blahblahblah of the blahblahblah the domain, what is the y?" you realize just how short 15 seconds is. It's not enough time to figure out the question, that's how short it is.

And it's even worse when they ask you a question that you absolutely know the answer to, like "Lynette Scavo and Gabrielle Solis live on Wisteria Lane in this television program," and you CANNOT THINK OF THE NAME OF THE SHOW and 13 12 11 you know it, you know it, dammit, you watch it every week, on Sunday night at 10, and for some reason The Witches of Eastwick pops into your head and you cannot get it out and 8 7 6 what is it? oh grrrr, TERI HATCHER, Bree HODGE, you freaking beeping ... 3 2 1 gaaaaaaaaank....

FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES (INCLUDING ONE EQUESTRIAN VERSION) ARE ON THEIR WAY

January 29, 2009

An employee said they saw the man stuff sushi in his pockets... When a
manager confronted him about the sushi, she saw he also stuffed a Sobe
Life Water in his pocket. He claimed he got it at another store, but
she clued him in that her store was the only one that sold them. She
also noticed the man had a burrito tucked beneath a pair of ski gloves
in his helmet.