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TTYM: Benson Is A Strip Club DJ? NFL Cheerleaders Shave Their Heads? And What’s Wrong With An NFL ‘Bromance’?

November 30, 2012 3:11 PM

It was complete and utter chaos in the world of sports this week, leaving many of us scratching our heads and asking these ridiculous questions:

Why are NFL cheerleaders shaving their heads? Why is Cedric Benson DJ’ing at stripclubs? Why does Jamaal Charles want Peyton Manning’s autograph? Exactly who is that NHL prospect in a TeleTubbie costume? And why are Jets’ fans reacting so violently during half-time at the Thanksgiving Day game? Wait, we already know the answer to that one – but the video is a stunner!

In the one story no one could miss despite desperately trying to… Jets chant leader Ed Anzalone retired his helmet and position as #1 fan– claiming the crowd became too hostile and he was worried about a possible “confrontation” in the stands.

If you’re anything like me – you probably just thought ‘ol Ed had gone soft and wimpy like the quarterback whose jersey he dons.

The media went bonkers this week after a local TV news station caught Kansas City running back Jamaal Charles and wide receiver Dwayne Bowe asking Peyton Manning for his autograph and posing for pictures with the gridiron great after the Broncos beat the Chiefs last Sunday. Yep, Manning – the guy whose team just handed them a record of 1 – 10.

The players defended themselves: Charles says it was all for his Mom, Dwayne Bowe ‘fessed up to his “Man” crush and Manning blamed the camera man for being where he shouldn’t be. (Eric Berry would’ve been there too, but Manning is after all a Bronco and we all know how Berry feels about equines.)

Now – sports writers everywhere are coming out of the woodwork to ask us what all the fuss is about? Everyone claims it’s just fraternal camaraderie. Players from opposing teams even swap jerseys, ya know?

Really sports writers everywhere? So the“Manning Photogate” incident doesn’t speak to the bigger shift of the mainstream NFL marketing of football AT ALL? It’s absolutely no indication how the game has changed for players and fans alike?

It’s no secret hockey players tend to get a bit wild, relish in the company of women and enjoy an occasional cocktail.

Now, Detroit Red Wings prospect Riley Sheahan has taken the bad boy rep to a bit of a different level.

Sheahan was arrested for allegedly drunk driving – but he wasn’t just drunk he was what the state of Michigan calls “Super Drunk” (on a side note who came up with that technical term? An MSU sorority girl? – “Like, uh, omigod I was sooo super drunk at the mixer last night!”) which means he blew over a .17 on a Breathalyzer. How far over you ask? Try .30!

Like, uh, yeah, I ‘d totally say he was “super drunk” alright.

And as pathetic as this sounds that’s not really so surprising, nor is the fact he is underage and gave the cops his teammate’s license.

No, the story gets even more interesting folks. You see, Sheahan was wearing a purple Teletubbies costume at the time of his arrest – “Tinky Wink” – for you purists.

Don’t believe me? We’ve got the video to prove it. Bad boy Riley! No more Teletubbies for you! I think you need a time out.

So, as if football cheerleaders aren’t annoyingly perfect enough – this week the Colt’s cheerleaders felt the need to take it to the next level.

All season the team has been rallying around Coach Chuck Pagano who is battling Leukemia and apparently, they are no exception. One of the members of the Ra Ra squad promised if fans donated $10,000 to cancer research she would shave her head. Yes, ladies shave. Her. Head.

Well thanks to her offer the charity raked in more than $20,000 – so during the 4th quarter of last week’s game she and a fellow cheerleader had a #1 blade taken to her scalp.

Frankly, I prefer to consider these ladies insipid, self-absorbed dolts who spend hours of their day working out and primping in front of the mirror. It helps me sleep at night. They’ve completely ruined it for me. Now here’s the most infuriating part? They still look amazing!