How to help uncle?

My uncle moved in with me and my family in July, since he needed somewhere to stay. I was really happy about him staying here because we've always gotten along pretty well. Then he started being condescending and just saying hurtful things, so I let him know that wasn't appreciated. He got mad and just went off, going in my face screaming and pointing. I don't like it when people are aggressive with me like that. I ended up having a panic attack and he didn't even care. He did some other things worse than that, but it's a long story. Eventually me and my mom decided to just move on and make peace with him. Now he's been acting weird again, staying in his room all the time and not talking to anyone, just leaving sarcastic notes and slamming and banging stuff around. It just feels awkward being around him when he avoids people and gives the silent treatment. He has anger issues, he drinks and spends way too much, and he always takes his problems out on other people. I suggested he get help and he just got more mad. I don't know if I should give up or keep trying. He's not the person I thought he was, but I think at least he should get therapy or whatever else he needs to feel better. He doesn't think he has a problem, so I don't know if it's a lost cause or I should keep trying to help.

Sounds like your uncle needs to go see some professional help. Does he have any prior mental health history? Because he could have manic bipolar-ism or something along those lines. Drinking is bad because you can get drunk and your not in control of your actions. So, I would continue to try to help him - maybe talk him into going getting professional help. But if he gets to violent you may need to call the police which might be a tough thing to do. People admit they don't have a problem all the time - doesn't necessarily mean they don't. He needs to get examined by a doctor to be sure he doesn't have a disability that can be treated with medications. It sounds like he was nice to you in the past though. I would try seeking professional help on this one because it sounds manic to me. My uncle is manic bipolar and possibly has schizophrenia. He doesn't take his meds so he's in his own little world most of the time.

I seriously think he is either bipolar or he's on drugs. He used to be an addict so it makes me wonder. He usually isn't drunk when he gets in rages, but he drinks to mask his feelings. I called the police before when he threatened to hurt my mom, but they said that nothing can be done unless he does hurt someone. I wouldn't want it to get to that point, because he used to be abusive towards my aunt and that's scary. I really just hope that he'll realize he needs help or even realize that he's done the wrong things.

I see, he's more and likely relapsed on the drugs... Even though he's shown signs of bipolar-ism which can be treated with medications. However, the other addiction part will need to be treated through therapy such as rehab. I don't know what else to suggest because he has a right to his own privacy. So, I don't suggest nosing around his room. However, if you visibly see the drugs than you'll know. Calling the police will be the only way to get him into rehab if that's what happens. However, you can also take a legal course of action to make him go through a health mental evaluation. Where the court decides weather he should or not go through the evaluation. However, you'll need more than just yourself to go through that type of action. Assuming you live in the states in which case that's the course of action. Also the only way to get him in there automatically is if he broke the law ---- which is typically drugs. I can only suggest that you stay cautious for a while and do some research - don't be intrusive or rough in your search. Because this can cause violence. I would hate to see your uncle go through a rough time at the hospital - but he may need to go through a eval.

I can't prove though that he is on drugs...I've suggested before that he might be on them and he got very defensive at the accusation. He's been to rehab before, obviously it didn't help since he's still an alcoholic. It's just weird that the tinfoil in the house "disappeared" (I know he used to use this with his drugs, not saying he is now but it's still odd). He said that he is moving out, I'm not sure if he actually is but it might be for the best if he isn't going to change or get help.

Thanks for that update. Yeah it'll be a good thing if he moves out because it seems he doesn't want to admit his issues which is normal. I've done it a very many times to keep myself from getting into the drama of the hospital. However, I find it better when I do open up with others. It does seem odd that the tinfoil disappeared -- I won't point fingers at your uncle though because I shouldn't judge him for that. However, it's a possibility and shouldn't be overlooked. I hope your uncle does leave because if he's abusive he needs to go - sad to say - unless he gets help. Which it doesn't seem like he wants to.