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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Schmedical Update: HIGH FIVE!

Today was my new doctor's appointment - the one that's had me terrified for nearly a month now.

I never want to turn this blog into a personal medical journal, but I had to update you guys because a) you all showed me so much support over my last cancelled appointment, and b) several of you have been e-mailing to make sure I made a new appointment, and kept it. I think one even called me "young lady." :D

Anyway, after looking over all your doctor recs and a lot of online research, John & I made an appointment with Dr. Parmelee Thatcher of Women's Care Florida here in Orlando.

Last night I was a bit of a mess; I was wobbly and my palms wouldn't stop sweating and I couldn't focus on anything else. Finally I mentioned it on the Epbot FB page, and the notes you guys left for me there made such a difference. Just like last time, I could physically feel that outpouring of support, and I actually felt so confident leaving this morning that I didn't even take a Xanax.

Ok, so maybe I was a little over confident.

The staff was wonderful - we saw nothing but big smiles and attentive workers from the moment we walked in. The waiting is always the hardest part, so I was a bit shaky and sweaty by the time we sat down with the doctor for the pre-exam office consult. (Although we were only in the waiting room about 10 minutes - not bad, right?)

I held it together until I had to mention the trauma from my last visit, and then my control slipped. John took over while I sucked air and had a bit of a cry, and Dr. Thatcher, wide-eyed, talked quickly over my tears about how different a biopsy is from a pap, and how this exam would be nothing like that, and a few other things I didn't quite catch because I was so stinking embarrassed and I didn't have any tissues.

Dr. Thatcher herself is quick, a bit brisk, but extremely attentive. I didn't feel rushed at all, although once or twice later I had to work a tiny bit to get a question in, because she's a very quick talker.

After my outburst I reluctantly took half a Xanax, we talked a bit more about my history, and then moved on to the exam room.

Dr. Thatcher gave us a little extra time there to make sure my Xanax had kicked in, which was very considerate of her, and every room had a TV on the wall, which made for a nice distraction.

The exam itself was very quick, and only minimally painful. Really, by the time I was thinking, "Ok, this kinda hurts," she was done. Like I said, the waiting is always the hardest part. Also, John was beside me holding my hand the whole time.

Before she left the room to let me change, Dr. Thatcher made sure to stop beside me, look me in the eye, and ask if I was Ok. And you know what? I was.

After that I had to immediately face another fear of getting two vials of blood drawn, which hurt, dangit, but by then I was past the point of panic, thanks to the Xanax and to John being beside me (although he was careful not to look at the needle). I'm glad they do blood draws there in the office, too; that's one less thing to stress about later.

And now I'm home, and utterly relieved, and ready to attack this stack of paperwork about endometriosis and Lupron shots and yeesh why does all this stuff have to be so complicated? Urg. I go back for more tests in about a month, but I feel ok about that now; I think the biggest hurdle is behind me.

Words aren't enough. They never will be. But I'll say them again anyway: Thank you.

I thought about you waiting to get my surprise pap earlier this week (which I realize now sounds a little creepy), and I can report, because of my new anti-fibromyalgia medicine, it was the first pap of my life that didn't feel like rabid weasels were attacking my lady parts. My doctor actually listened to me and talked me through ever single thing he did. I left thinking, If Jen ever moves to Montana, I have the perfect doctor for her!

High Five back!I had my hysterectomy 4 years ago. Doc, bf, mom, friends, all tried to talk me out of it. I didn't listen and did it anyway. Turned out I was right, there was an issue there that needed to be fixed that way.

The plus side, it kinda cured my bipolar disorder. I was able to stop taking psychiatric medications after that.

I don't look back and wish. I hope that whatever happens with you, and whatever decision you make, you have no regrets.

Yay! I knew you could do it! The attitude of the staff is a good indicator about how good a doctor is.Since she's such a quick talker, I would recommend typing up a list of your questions & taking it with you to your next visit. Doctors actually prefer that & it makes the visit go smoother.

yay!!!! I am so proud of you for conquering that fear! I am having a sleep dental procedure done at the end of the month because I keep having panic attacks at the regular dentist, I am glad that you made it through, and won't have to go back for a while hopefully!

You're so brave to go through with that appointment! I'm so glad you found a good doctor who is competent and nice. Here's to as few appointments as possible, but bearable ones when they do have to happen.

I am so glad it went well. There is no reason to see a doc who doesn't treat you like you are human. I am glad you advocated for yourself. I am so glad you felt uplifted by the love from us your faithful readers.

Hopefully you can amass a series of non-incidents now that will help ease the fear and trauma of even the waiting part. Hooray!

Congratulations! It's great you made it through okay, and now maybe you'll be able to be more confident in the future. Gyn visits have never been my favourite, either. Thank goodness John is so supportive, you're really lucky to have a husband who is! Go hug that man. HUG HIM RIGHT NOW!!!

YAY! YAYYAYYAY!!! You did it! I knew you could! I *know* that was really hard, and you DID IT! Big hugs and that virtual high five (low five . . . to the side . . . slap me some skin . . . yeeeah! (sorry, my husband's been teaching that to our 3yo. Nothing like some obsolete jive . . .))

Woohoo! Jen, you are one brave lady. Congratulations on persevering, finding a better doctor, and courageously going to the new appointment. I hope you feel better soon, I wish I were there to bake you a cake, or something. :}

You are a rock star!! Facing your fears is one of the scariest things in life and you did it. There is something so freeing about living through the fear and coming out the other side being okay. Many kudos to you and let John know he's among the amazing husband club - as if he didn't already know:)

I am SO glad you had a good experience this time. I've been following you for yrs but this is the first time commenting. I suffer from anxiety and depression and know how hard it is to face things. Escpecially stuff that make you super worried in the first place. virtual hugs from Nova Scotia!

I am glad you found a doctor you can relate to. As a nurse, I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly and there are lots of good ones out there. I once made a recommendation for a surgeon I had used and the person didn't like him for the very same reasons that I did...so it can be quite individual. Still, finding the right one for you can be daunting but it looks like Dr. Thacker has proven her worth for you. High fives and happy smiles all around!

Going through something like that can be really scary after having previously awful experiences.

I remember reading your first accounts of what had happened before and I was just shocked and disgusted that any person, let alone a doctor, would do things like that.

Good luck on your path towards getting your life back in your own hands- at first it is scary and crappy, but once you figure out what is going on, and the testing is over, and you get settled into the routine of management/treatments/whatever it is that is necessary, it becomes pretty standard and easy to forget about.

Well done!! I'm really glad it went so well for you, particularly after the nasty experience you had before! It always makes one feel better when one has a good, supportive doctor, whatever the procedure :) Also, I hope that one day I will have a hubby as supportive as John :D

So happy for you! I am one of the ones who recommended Dr. Thatcher to you. I am still grateful for her kindness to me when she delivered the news that I would probably need a c-section after 20 hours of unproductive labor. Very glad she was kind to you as well.

Yeah, Jen. I am sooo glad that you not kept your appointment but found a doctor that took you seriously and was attentive and took you into consideration. I'm sure that was the biggest block. I hope you can forge a great relationship with this doctor knowing that you can trust her with your issues and feelings and she will utilize that in your treatment whatever it may be. You were a trooper and Jon owes a prezzie of some kind for it. Be sure to tell him so.

i am SO GLAD you found a doctor who took the time to listen to your concerns, acknowledge them, and consider them during your appointment. way to go for getting this done! i hope that this first step will take some of the anxiety away from your future appointments. you are awesome!

Good for you.I know it sucked...but I'm glad you got through it. I have not had an experience quite as bad as yours...they just left me in a gown on a table for 2 hours waiting for a biopsy that no one had told me I'd be having when I was trying to rush home to be with my father whose wife was dying...but I did have a full-blown needle phobia.Hypnotherapy. Seriously. Best thing I've ever done. I don't love needles even now, and I never look, but I don't panic and I swear sticks hurt less. Hoping all the news is good from here on out.

I'm so glad you got through it ok. Good job!!! When I had to have a lot of blood drawn for my pregnancy, I always had them use "kid's" (sissie's) or "butterfly" needles to do the job. It works just the same but is the tiniest and thinnest needle. Try that next time. Very happy for you that you are ok, home and have a wonderful man like John to hold your hand! :)

My sister in law is a phlebotomist. While the butterfly needles are super tiny, they also take a lot longer to draw the same amount of blood. For some people, that extra time is more traumatic than the initial stick. It bears considering.

Once again, I'm the world's biggest proponent of hysterectomies, but I wanted to give you my two cents on Lupron. I did the shots for six months, and they weren't too bad. The mood swings and hot flashes were no fun, but bearable. Unfortunately, for me, they didn't work. If you don't mind hormone pills every day, I say just go for the hysterectomy. But I say that to everybody.

Having just undergone medical trauma myself (MRI; sooo not fun for claustrophobes), I send {{HUGS}} to you, high fives to John (or you can share your hugs with him if you want) and big *sighs* of relief that neither of us has to go thru any of that again, right?

Jen, I am so glad to hear things went well with the new Dr. I was thinking about it the other day, wondering if you had the appt. yet, glad that you let us all know! I think things will be very different now- you found a doc you can trust. It's a very important thing, especially the "lady parts dr." Bravissima! :)

So glad you found a doctor to trust! As for the blood draw, the *most* you should feel is a tiny pinch as the needle goes in, if you had pain, TELL THE DOCTOR! Her phlebotomist stinks! I had 4 vials drawn today, and she was the best I've ever had. Usually I have them digging around to my elbow bone! or they push down with the cotton before taking the needle all the way out. Seriously, if you don't tell the Dr. that it hurt, she won't do anything to prevent it next time. Getting blood drawn is *infinitely* less painful than a shot.

So so glad you got a doctor you like! And you know what, I think she'll grow on you. You'll be thinking of her fondly before you know it. Perhaps not her appointments as much, but her. And the rest will only get better too.

This was a tremendous step toward conquering your fears and getting over your past experience (as much as is realistically possible). Congratulations, and I hope you have nothing but continued success!

YOU DID IT! Did your doctor mention a hysterectomy for your endometriosis? I had one for mine, my insurance even covered it, because of the endometriosis. Also, mine was a partial, meaning only my uterus and the top of my cervix were taken out, so I don't have to take hormones. Also, mine was minimally invasive, only three teeny, tiny scars. One in the belly button and two nearish my hip bones. I was put under general anesthesia for it. It was the best decision of my life. NO MORE PERIOD!! You might want to check into it. It's called a laparoscopic hysterectomy. Good luck with everything. I think an ablation sounds way too painful.

I'm SO glad you got a doc that didn't freak you out! Yay!! And you rock for having the guts to get through it. I was actually thinking about you around 2 your time wondering how it was going. I'm glad it went as well as those things can go!

As for the quick talking, I had a doc like that, too. I'm also a quick talker. Add to the fact she and I bonded so much over the course of my pregnancy that for the first 3 months I almost always forgot to talk about my questions! She and I would get sidetracked speed talking about other subjects and I would have to call when I got home to relay the questions I actually had. I solved the problem by making sure I wrote a list to carry in my hand when I went in. The paper in my hand served to remind both of us that I had something I needed to know before I left.

Way to go, Jen! If it helps to know, I've been on Lupron -- while it wasn't exactly a joy-ride it was worth the effort since my pain subsided quite a bit afterward. Hang in there - you are brave, fearless, and powerful!

Jen. Love you guys! Congrats on facing up to your fears! I'm sorry that you've got to deal with all this. I'm less than 2 wks post partial hysterectomy myself and I feel great! I'm only 33 and did it for personal reasons. Just want to say that even if you have to go that route it's not bad at all

WELL DONE!!! Community is awesome. So glad to hear you had a positive experience today with a physician who was actually interested in listening and understanding. :)

We will be waiting for more news!(just a thought....in your spare time, hahaha, maybe you should start one more blog. a medical experience sharing place. you have such a broad following, you could reach many people quickly! both good and bad experiences could be shared and we could support each other in our journeys)

From one Jen to another...WELL DONE! I had a very painful MRI today and was with you in spirit, knowing that I needed it and could get through it. And, adding my two cents, a hysterectomy is the way to go! Trips to the Magic Kingdom are even better when Aunt Flo stays at home.

Jen,Just found the precursor story and this update a few minutes ago. Saw a lot of commentary about medical procedures and phobias, but the fact of the matter is that you were assaulted in that office. I am a nurse and what that doctor did was an assault. And I am relieved that your current provider seems to understand that :)I would suggest contacting a therapist who works with PTSD related to assaults, it might help with ongoing anxiety and other aftereffects of such an egregious violation of trust.As a nurse, I only wish I had been in the room at the time...

Is it weird to say that I got totally choked up reading this because I'm so proud of you and what you accomplished today? Well, too bad if it is because I totally did! I'm so glad that this doctor visit was an overall good experience for you to replace the nightmare from the last one. You are awesome, Jen! And so is John! :D

Every part of my ballet-bruised, exam-fried nerve body is doing a happy dance for you! :D This totally made my day; you're in inspiration! xoxoxo Thanks for pouring so much sweetness (haha bad pun INTENDED like a boss) into so many people's lives; you can only imagine how we feel when we say Thank YOU! :D

Jen, As a sister Jenn & Endometriosis sufferee. You did great!!! I am so proud of you. I've been where you were 100%. Crying in doc offices is my specialty. Endometriosis is the 1 under diagnosised female ailment. So do research & listen to your body. You know what it's telling you. & you ARE NOT crazy. Esteogen + Endometriosis = evil. Love to you & John. (((hug)))

This is so much more what medical CARE is supposed to be! I'm so glad things went smoothly. You're setting a great example by sticking with it and taking care of yourself! Continuing to send good vibes your way.

I'm really happy for you that today went good for you. Since we move around so much, I have the stress of new doctors every 2 to 4 years. I've been very blessed to find excellent doctors every time, but I have had appalling luck with dentists (as in insurance fraud and not performing procedures that were necessary).

While it isn't as traumatic as your experiences, it's made me very mistrustful of dentists, so I am able to relate minimally.

Maybe it sounds silly or condescending, but I'm proud of you!! It's hard to make yourself face your fears, and you did that. And it sounds like it was a success.

I hope that all of your future visits are as successful, and that you're able to get on the road to good health and comfort soon. :)

I had quite a traumatic experience when going in for a biopsy in 2009, to the point that the female doctor was one helluva bitch to me and instead of making me feel comfortable and at ease and understanding that everything will be okay, even if results aren't great, she made me feel like a scum bag and worthless and I had a really hard time holding back the tears. I didn't want to go back the following year for my annual, but I was assured my normal doctor would be on duty at the time. No one at the office really seemed to care that the one female doctor was an awful awful person, despite the long, well-composed letter I sent.

By sharing your life on this level, you are giving back so much more than you will ever know. I guess we're all voyeurs on the Internet, but reading the carefully crafted words of your experiences, fears and triumphs has given me strength at times when it was much needed.

Thank you, Ms. Yates, for being a really great and uncommonly brave kind of human.

Fabulous! I'm so proud of you for going ahead and not only making the appointment, but keeping it! It's a hard thing to get over, having a lousy doctor, but you've done really well. Go treat yourself to some ice cream - or more steampunk goodies. Best wishes!

Girl, you ROCK! So glad you had a good experience this time around, and so admiring of your willingness to fight through this. Keep up the good work - and DEFINITELY indulge in the retail therapy when you need it...I know I do! :)

Yay! I am so glad you found someone you feel comfortable around, had a decent experience, and that hubs is such a pillar of strength for you. Don't we all need that? :) Women's Care is the same group my doc is in, for Polk. Cool.

Virtual high five followed by a great big virtual hug! SO GLAD you followed up and found a great doctor to work with!!!!! I am breathing a great big sigh of relief for you over at this end of the country. YOU DID IT! And it will get easier now that you have had a good experience. Thank you for the follow up posting and I hope you feel comfortable letting us know how things go in the future. We are here for you!

Glad your visit went better this time. I hope you will feel comfortable enough with this doctor to talk about the pros and cons of taking the shots versus having a hysterectomy. I'm sure there are upsides and downsides to both. Make sure you know what to expect and how long you will need to be on the treatment or how long it will take to know if the shots are working for you. Good luck, sweetie. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Hi Jen, good on you for facing your fears!! You should check out this website for more information about endometriosis. Also I found that this forum was a huge help for me. I had a laproscopic surgery to remove most of my endo in the fall. Now I control my pain through special diet alone (no Birth control or anything). I haven't felt this good since before puberty. Only one day of mild pain and thats it. Also my advice if you do have surgery is to NOT google image the procedure. heh. Thats the one bit of advice that saved me a few panic attacks. Hope this all helps!

JEN! I love you! I'm so proud! I can totally relate to lady doctor problems (although mine stem from sexual abuse, not bad docs), and I've watched over you the whole time. I only wish I'd had some good advice to give, because I would have! I would've been all like "well, you might want to consider... blah blah" and it would've been impressive.

Here in the UK you don't really get to choose a specialist, you're assigned a clinic, and it's random who you'll get. I've just been given an appointment in SEPTEMBER for some fertility issues, as due to new policy my GP is no longer allowed to prescribe the meds I need (even though he did it with great effect the last 2 times!). I am really annoyed about the wait, and who knows what tests they'll insist on before they'll actually prescribe what I need. It all comes down to more and more waiting! Plus I'm terrified they'll try to fob me off, you just never know how they'll behave until you get there. I'd been planning to go alone as Rich will be at work, but I'm now thinking I'll take him along for support!

I'm so glad that you found a better doctor. I'm also glad that she was honest with you! Are you going to keep going yearly? I was terrified to go to the gyn too - more for modesty issues than anything else - and I always think of it as 15 minutes a year that I have to be uncomfortable. I also have a rock star doctor who makes it really easy for me. I'd say "Wham, Bam, Thank you ma'am" except that sounds REALLY wrong for a lady-bits doctor. :)Major props to you for conquering your fear!

Jen, I am so glad that you found a good doctor, that everything went well and they made you feel comfortable. When I read about your first doctor experience I was so angry for you and just wanted to yell at someone. I get mad just thinking about what they did to you and am sorry you ever had to through it. I hope the positive experiences keep adding up!

I spent 10 years fighting pain, massive bleeding, nausea, fatigue, and a general loss of interest in the world due to endometriosis and adenomyosis only to have OB/GYN after OB/GYN tell me to basically suck it up.

I finally found a doctor who listened to me, and she performed a full hysterectomy on me in 1998.I woke up from surgery feeling better...instantly...despite having just had major surgery - had to go abdominally and the procedure took FOUR hours - and every day since then I've thanked God I found someone who was willing to help me.

yay!! so glad you are doing ok and so proud of you for facing your fears and so proud of John for being such a wonderful supportive husband that he is. ( Between us.. I actually got choked up reading today's entry) Hugs-a-bunch : )

Jen, I am SO glad that this worked out for you. Hooray for recommendations and trusting your gut and doing research! You are literally past the worst of it all now. I wanted to reply to your facebook post when you mentioned being all upset but for some reason I wasn't able to. But I was thinking of you and said a little prayer for comfort and strength and a competent doctor. Sounds like you struck gold. Don't be ashamed of the in-office break-down; that worked to your advantage. Some doctors need to hear that their colleagues in the profession are dirtbags and see how it affects their patients!

YAY! I'm so glad you found a doctor who cares and who treats you with the dignity you deserve to be treated with. And double yay for John being such a wonderfully supportive hubby -- you've got a great man there, I hope you know! I can barely imagine how difficult it must have been for you to face the whole thing, but you walked through it just fine and next time will be easier since you KNOW this time that the doctor will be good to you. I'm so glad it all went well for you this time!

Dearest Jen; I don't comment very often, but I read this and CW every day, and I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for being strong enough to do something beneficial to your health despite being afraid. You had every right to be afraid, and you did the right thing anyway. That is tremendously inspiring to me. <3 -iris johnston

Reading this made me think about rising to the challenges we face in our lives. It is encouraging to read about you and how you met this challenge and, with John's help, kicked it's ass. I have some challenges to face down in my own life right now and this helps me to get up and tackle it. Thanks.

I'm so glad that you found a new doctor and had a good experience! I have been praying for you and hoping that you'd post an update! I don't do facebook, so can't follow you there. Hugs, purrs and headbutts from me and my kitties to you and yours!

So glad you found a doctor who cares. I can't imagine how tough all of this has been for you. As a surrogate I have had to give myself Lupron shots as well. It was pretty easy, especially after the first one. Though, to be honest, that stuff has never bothered me. But, I have never been through what you have either. Good luck!

As a nurse it breaks my heart to hear what you have been through. I wish that people skills and empathy were required courses in med school. No one should have to experience that much fear and pain on the road to getting themselves better.

That being said, I think we are all so proud of how brave you are! I sincerely hope those days of nasty experiences are all behind you, and that you have lots of health and happiness to look forward to :)

YAY!!!! I'm sooo proud of you - and John, too! I'm so glad you found a wonderful, kind, caring doctor, and have a great hubby to go with you and take care of you during the visit! Please continue to keep us updated, and know that we will all be right there supporting you and praying for you every time you need us! <3

High fives and hugs to you, Jen, for having the courage to go through with it. I'm SO glad things went so much better than they might have, and that you found a caring doctor! And that you have such a supportive husband by your side. Thanks for posting the updates on this topic. Please let us know before the next appt so I can remember to be praying for you during it!

Hugs and high fives right back atcha! I'm so happy you had a good experience. I hope that there's a little less anxiety every time you go back and that you can really build a relationship with this doctor.

Thanks for the update, Jen. I'd been anxious to hear how it went. I'm so glad you found a good doctor and the visit went pretty well. Don't be embarrassed about having nerves over it. And good for you for insisting on getting your questions and concerns in. I'm hoping the best for the results.

But I don't know if I can keep reading about how wonderful John is, as it makes me that much sadder that I don't have one. :(

PS: I think the commenter above might be onto something with the PTSD. Perhaps some help for that is in order too.