Friday, March 02, 2007

How to Keep a Secret

by DCepticon

We have all been told secrets. Someone trusts you enough not to tell anyone else and for most of us, depending on the level of intimacy and importance, this is a relatively easy thing to do. But I know that there are some secrets that just fester and boil over in your mind until you just have to tell someone.

Yesterday I gave you a hint to a Rorschach Secret. If you read carefully I gave you two clues. I have a problem keeping secret completely secrets from you my friends on the interwebs, so I find my self dropping little clues about this big news that will be announced on Monday. I am going to do it again at the end of this blog entry. I know what you are thinking no self control. There are ways to keep secrets and I have taken the time to write some of the ways I have tried to keep a secret a secret. I hope they help. If you want to skip the prologue, the actual clue is buried in Way #3.

1. Dig a hole in your back yard and whisper the secret into it.

Then plant a tree in the hole and put the dirt back in. And on windy nights as the branches flow back and forth you will hear the whisper of the secret in the breeze. Eventually it will drive you so crazy you will chop down the tree, just to stop the crazy whispering. Then you can use the wood to make a table or a nice rocking chair just like the ones you see outside of the Cracker Barrell. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones that you see and say that is a nice rocking chair I wish I had one, but I am driving my damn sub-compact and where the hell would I put it. How much are they again? Like $150! Well there is no way I am going to tie a damn $150 chair to the roof of my car, maybe I will get the next time when I have dad's mini-van, but I don't want to make a special trip and the closest Cracker Barrell is like an hour drive from my apartment.

2. Tell only one person you trust.

Sure you can tell your best friend, that never gets weird. Now all of a sudden they have something they can hold over your head. They have the power in the relationship because you just had to tell someone. You and your needs! Need is what kills! Didn't you learn anything from the Stephen King movie with the devil and all the people with those needs? What was that movie again? It had Ed Harris in it. I like Ed Harris he just seems to have this face that says trust me. Or maybe it is the hairline? He played John Glenn in The Right Stuff, now there was a movie about astronauts.

3. Write it down and then burn the paper.

Yes, just like in those spy movies. Secret agent walks into a bar and meets the attractive double-agent and she slips him the paper with the message. He reads the message and then lights his cigarette, places the message in the ash tray and lights it with his match. He says to the bartender "Is there grenadine in this Shirley Temple? And by the way thanks M.K. it will be nice to work with you again after the success we have experienced with the SWF Project."

Well I hope that helps and be sure to check back here next week for all of the big news.