This article was co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

You may feel grateful for your friends, family, health, and circumstances, but it may not always be easy to know how you should express that. To truly express your gratitude, you have to be kind, open, and on a mission to make people feel better about who they are. Don't be bashful and take the time you need to let people know how much they really mean to you. Just remember that a more grateful life is a happier life.

Steps

Method1

Expressing Gratitude for Your Loved Ones

1

Write “thank you” cards. “Thank you” cards aren’t just meant for your teachers; you can give them to anyone who has influenced your life in a positive way. You can write these cards to your best friend, and you don’t need to wait for a special occasion to send one along, either. Sending a card expressing your gratitude to a loved one just because can be one of the easiest ways to show how grateful you are for the person’s presence in your life.

You can also write a “thank you” letter if you feel like everything you have to say won’t fit in a card.

Mail the cards to your friends, even if they live just a few blocks away, to show that you’ve really made an effort.

2

Do favors for your friends just because. If you want to express your gratitude, then you shouldn’t do favors for your friends just because they’ve helped you out recently or because you want something in return. Instead, help them out just because you care for them and want to make their day a little easier. This can mean picking up coffee or lunch when they’re busy, offering to babysit or walk your friend’s dog, or finding another small way to make a big difference in your friend’s life.

Be observant. Look to see how you can really help out your friend. If your friend seems tired, say you’ll take her dog for a walk while she naps. If her room is a mess, offer to help her organize it. Your friend may not even realize what she needs until you suggest it.

Of course, your friends should sometimes do favors for you in return. You don’t want to feel like people are taking advantage of your kindness.

3

Tell your family members how much you appreciate them. You may be taking your family members for granted without even realizing it. If you want to show your family members how much they mean to you, then all you have to do is remember to tell them that you love them every single day, and to show that you appreciate all of the love, rides, food, help, and any other offerings they have given you.

Tell them in person, in a card, or over the phone. Do it often. Your family members may be the people you take the most for granted, and it’s important to get your true feelings out there.

Show them how much they mean to you by giving them your time. Make family time when you just watch movies, play board games, or cook together. A time commitment is one way to show you’re grateful.

Help out more around the house than normal. Don’t wait for your mother to ask you to do an extra load of laundry for her; surprise her by taking the initiative.

4

Give meaningful gifts. Expressing gratitude isn't about buying the most fancy or expensive gift money can buy; instead, it’s about finding a way to show how much the person means to you that shows thought and care. If your friend has been raving about her favorite book for years, invite her to a surprise reading to see the author or get her an autographed copy or first edition; if your friend loves yoga but is finding her hobby too expensive, get her a one-month pass to show how much you care.

Pay attention to what your friends or family members say. If one of your friends mentions her new favorite band, get concert tickets for when the band rolls through your town.

If your mother mentions wanting to learn to cook more Italian food, get her a book to help get her started.

You don’t have to wait until a birthday or a holiday to give a gift; sometimes the best gifts are given just because.

5

Send flowers. Sending flowers isn’t only for birthdays or other special occasions. You can send your friend or family member flowers just to show how much you care and to make a difference in that person’s day. The next time you’re feeling really grateful about a friendship, or just when you want to say hello to a faraway friend just because, call a florist in your friend’s area and order a bouquet of flowers that you know will light up your friend’s day.

If you can find a sneaky way to find out what your friend’s favorite flowers are in advance, then you can create a bouquet and personalized.

6

Bake something. Taking the time to make banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, or another one of your friend’s favorite desserts can really light up your friend’s day. Delivering cookies to your friend’s front door, or even mailing cookies to a friend in a far away destination, can really make a big difference in your friend’s life. This will be a perfect way to express gratitude because everyone knows that time and effort goes into baking, and your friend or loved one will see that you really care and are thankful for all that he or she has done for you.

Baking can especially show your gratitude if you know the person needs to be cheered up a bit. Chocolate or sweets can make almost every person feel better, and this can be a great way to show that you care.

7

Respect your elders. Another way to express gratitude is to show your elders how much they mean to you. Whether you’re close with your grandparents or just happen to spend time around older people, it’s important to show that you appreciate them and to be as kind to them as you can. This is a great way of expressing gratitude and showing that they do make a difference in your life and in the lives of others.

Take the time to listen to what they have to say and don’t dismiss them as out of touch. They have a lot more to teach you than you have to teach them, most of the time.

8

Help a person clean up. Another way to express gratitude to your friends or family members is to help them clean either their homes, their cars, or anything else that may need a quick clean. Cleaning up a person’s space can help bring on clarity of mind and can also help take an unpleasant task off the person’s hands. See if your parents or friends really need some help cleaning, or even just clean to surprise them as a way to express gratitude.

If you’re cleaning as a surprise, just make sure the person is comfortable with you touching his or her things and doesn't feel that his or her privacy has been invaded.

If you’ve been a guest in someone’s home for a few days, then cleaning up is one great way to express your gratitude.

9

Give someone a list of all the good things they've done for you. Another way to express your gratitude to a person you care about is to present the person with a list of all the amazing things he or she has done for you, from teaching you how to make an amazing pasta salad to being there for you in a crisis. You can make this list for your boss, a family member, or a friend; it’ll make the person feel great to know that he or she is so appreciated.

You can even make the list look a bit more elaborate and decorative, so the person can even hang it up to feel even better! If you really want to go all out, you can even frame it for the person.

10

Listen. Another way to express gratitude to the person you care about is to be there to lend a listening ear. Just taking the time to be there for a person and to give him or her the time of day can be one of the best things you can do to make a person feel loved and appreciated. Just sit down with the person, shut off your phone, make eye contact, and take the time to really hear the person out, instead of interrupting or planning your response in your head. Few people feel like they are being heard in this multi-tasking society, and you can show the person how much you care by really making an effort to listen.

Don’t give advice unless the person asks for it. Sometimes, the best you can do is just be there.

Don’t compare the person’s experiences to your own unless you really think it will help. Instead, take what the person is saying on his or her own terms.

11

Acknowledge the person publicly. Another way to express gratitude is to thank a person in front of other people. You shouldn't do this in a way that makes the person embarrassed, but you should make it clear how much the person means to you and how hard he or she has worked for you. Just a few sentences at work, during a toast at dinner, or at a small gathering of friends can make a person feel even more special about his or her role in your life.[1]

Just make sure this comes off as sincere and not like you’re sucking up. Make sure you really mean it, and that you have specific examples that show how much you care.

Letting other people see how much a person means to you can really fill that person with pride.

Method2

Expressing Gratitude for Strangers

1

Do a random act of kindness. Doing a random act of kindness can be one of the best ways for you to show how grateful you are for the world around you. You can anonymously pay the toll of the car behind you, send a stranger flowers, put some change into a person’s expired parking meter, or do someone a courtesy just because. The best part of this is that your act is anonymous, so that you’re doing something kind without getting credit for it. Here are some other things you can do:

Donate money or clothes to a charity.

Teach someone a new skill.

Listen to someone who is lonely.

Help a person find his way.

Pay for coffee for the person behind you

2

Offer to help. You can show your gratitude to strangers by offering to help them when they need it. Though you don’t need to overstep your bounds, you can help a lady carry groceries to her car, help a man with heavy packages by holding the door for him, or you can help a waitress clean up a big spill during a busy time. Just making an effort to help, no matter how big or small, is one great way to express gratitude.

Look out for opportunities to help people. While you don’t need to be pushy, a lot of people are really afraid to ask for help when they need it.

3

Smile. Just the act of smiling at a person can help light up his day and show him that you care. Whether you’re smiling at a person who is walking down the street, sitting across from you on the bus, or serving you coffee, just a simple smile can make a person feel appreciated and feel better about his or her day. You don’t know what the life of a stranger you smile at is like, and as sad as it may seem, your smile may be the only smile he or she sees that day.

Smiling at people in customer service, whether they are ringing you up for a sandwich or helping you buy a cell phone, can especially show your gratitude. These people work long days and often feel a lack of gratitude, and you can turn that around.

4

Give a tip. One way to express your gratitude is to give a tip to a person who has done a great job. This can mean leaving a big tip along with a kind note to your waitress, tipping the delivery man, or even throwing some coins in a tip jar at your local cafe. This small gesture can make a big difference in the morale and financial situations of the people you are helping.

Leaving a note to tell your waiter or the person who helped you just how much he or she meant to you can really make that person’s day. A lot of people spend their whole work day feeling completely unappreciated.

5

Be respectful to people around you. Another way to express your gratitude is to be respectful to the people around you as much as possible. Respect the space of other people and don’t crowd them; respect their ears and don’t talk loudly on your phone in a quiet public place, and be kind and polite to strangers when you’re in the same room. Just making an effort to treat other people with the respect and kindness they deserve is a way of expressing your gratitude to the world.

Treat other people like you’d want to be treated. Don’t invade their space or privacy or make them feel inferior to you. Offer them your seat on the bus. Smile at a person who looks sad. Let a person on crutches pass by you.

Demonstrating good manners is a great way to show respect. Avoid cursing, don’t chew with your mouth open, and avoid interrupting people.

Give others your undivided attention, show interest in what they’re saying, and listen to them entirely.

6

Be a good citizen. Another way to express your gratitude to the world is to work on being a good citizen. This means parking your car in one spot only, cleaning up your own mess, letting pedestrians cross in front of your car, cleaning the lint out of your communal dryers, or really doing anything that shows a respect for society at large. If you litter or leave your shopping cart out in the middle of the parking lot, it shows that you’re not grateful enough for all of the advantages you have to put things in order.

Remember that the world isn’t your private garbage dump. Always remember to put things back in their places instead of expecting that someone will do the cleaning for you.

Do your civic duties. Vote for president and in local elections, don’t groan about having jury duty, and pay your taxes.

7

Give a compliment. Another way to show how grateful you are is to give a compliment to the people around you. Since we’re talking about strangers, you don’t have to say anything too extreme or make people uncomfortable, but a simple, “Cool shirt!” or, “I love those flowers you’re holding!” can make a person feel special and important. Make a goal of finding one thing to compliment today and soon you’ll make it a habit.

Look out for the unique, the odd, or the truly original things. If someone is wearing an amazing shirt with foxes with bow-ties on it, then you better compliment it, because there’s a good chance the person who is wearing it is really proud of this particular item.

If someone has a great smile, don’t be afraid of saying so. Just make sure you don’t say it in a way that can be misinterpreted to be a come on.

Method3

Living a More Grateful Life

1

Keep a gratitude journal. If you want to make gratitude a habit, then you should start keeping a gratitude journal to write down all of the things you’re thankful for each week. Just pick a day to do it each week, such as a Sunday afternoon, and make a list of at least 10-20 things that you’re thankful for that week. You may feel like you don’t have too much to be grateful for, but once you make an effort to really think about it, you’ll see that there’s plenty in your life to be happy about.[2]

If you read through your journal just once a month, you’ll be able to see how much you really have to be grateful for.

You can even keep your list taped above your computer to make yourself feel fulfilled throughout your work day.

2

Do yoga. Yoga is all about the practice of gratitude, and about offering your mind and body in a gesture of gratitude and contentment. If you want to make gratitude a part of your lifestyle, then make sure you go to at least 2-3 yoga classes a week and say “Namaste” to show how grateful you are for every breath you take. You can also do yoga at home instead if you feel more comfortable making your offerings that way.

Practicing yoga means putting away your judgment and being thankful for the healthy body you have been given. It means offering it all up to the world, greeting the sun, and feeling good about everything you have been given.

Yoga is about doing things at your own pace, and not coveting what skills or experience your neighbor has. This can help you develop a more grateful mindset about the rest of the world, too.

3

Volunteer. Volunteering is another way that you can show how grateful you are for all of the advantages you have in this life. No matter how busy you are, you can try to carve out a few hours each month to help tutor at your local library, work at a soup kitchen, help out at your local school, or clean up a park in your community. Making the effort to build a community and to focus on someone other than yourself is one of the best ways that you can truly show gratitude.

Being around people who have so much less than you do can remind you that you should take nothing for granted. You may find that these people can also teach you how to be truly grateful.

4

Be grateful on social media. Too many people use social media to make fun of other people or to complain about their days or the state of the world. Though there are plenty of reasons to complain and more than a handful of reasons to be down on the world, sometimes, you should try to break the mold by posting a message about something you’re grateful about, or by thanking someone for brightening up your day. This is a great way to express gratitude to many people at once, and it takes little effort.

It doesn't have to come off as corny to shout out one of your friends to thank her for all she has done for you. As long as it comes from the heart, people will appreciate it.

Give other people something to be thankful about, too. Share a fun fact about food, nature, or even kittens. It doesn't have to be super serious. As long as you’re getting away from the general trend of posting the most depressing news articles and complaining about the world, you’ll be doing a good thing.

5

Complain as little as possible. If you really want to express gratitude, then you should avoid complaining as much as possible. Though sometimes it can feel great to let it all out, you should make a habit of talking about the positive things in your life much more than the negative. If all you do is complain about work, then it won’t seem like you’re grateful that you have a job. If you complain about your significant other all the time, then you won’t be showing gratitude for his love and support. Work on being optimistic instead of looking for reasons to complain, and you’ll be on your way to expressing gratitude more often.[3]

If you complain every chance you get, then you won’t be able to see all the good things in your life. Though everyone has something to be upset about, you should focus on verbalizing all of the things you’re happy about, and you’ll be on your way to expressing gratitude in a much more acceptable way.

6

Be more affectionate. Another way to express gratitude is to be more affectionate with the people you care about. Be easier to give hugs, to put your arm around a loved one, and to kiss your children or your significant other. Take more time to cuddle with your partner, and the next time you see a friend, go for a hug instead of just a wave or a smile. Being affectionate shows how much you appreciate all of the people in your life.

Make sure the person you’re hugging is a hugger, too. It’s important to be affectionate, but you don’t want to make people uncomfortable.

Kiss your significant other at least twice a day to show you care.

7

Stop gossiping. If you want to live a more grateful life, then you should avoid gossiping about people as much as possible. Instead, focus on saying nice things about people behind their backs and on feeling positive about the people around you. Instead of spreading rumors or putting people down, work on lifting them up. Show that you care about and appreciate the people in your life and don’t be ungrateful by dragging their names in the mud.

Plus, if your friends hear that you’re saying good things about them behind their backs, they’ll start saying nice things about you when you’re not around. This is a great way of spreading good karma!

8

Be present. One major way to live a more grateful life is to be present in the moment instead of worrying about something that happened in the past or thinking about the future. Living in the moment will help you appreciate every breath you take, every smile you see, and every bite of food you eat, and if you focus on enjoying the journey you’re on, you’ll be able to be much more grateful every second of the way.

Write about your worries or fears in a journal or just set a daily worrying time for yourself. This will keep you from clouding your entire days with thoughts of the future.

Try not to hold grudges or to get stuck in the past. Be grateful for the relationships you’re having now instead of being bitter about the road bumps in the past.