You’re wearing THAT? I love people watching and am shocked time and time again when I see people who are on what is obviously a first or second date dressed totally inappropriately. I was even on a few of those dates myself back in the day. I was meeting one guy for lunch on the beach in the middle of the summer and he arrived wearing a ratty t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and board shorts. The board shorts could be excused, I had my bikini on underneath my sundress after all, but the shirt was not acceptable. I was able to get past it because the date itself went really well but it was not a good first impression. It showed he made no effort whatsoever to get dressed for our date. It wasn’t even the sleeveless part, it was the rattiness and rips that were a turnoff.

Other times I see women wearing clothes meant for a night club or better yet, meant for the bedroom. One of my favorite sayings is that a man wants “a woman in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” Save the short, sheer, skimpy skirts and dresses for a sexy night at home. Another of my favorite sayings is “less is more.” The less skin you show the sexier it is. I don’t mean covering yourself from head to toe, just to show one fabulous body part at a time. Either highlight your long legs or your toned arms or your fabulous cleavage, just not all 3 at the same time.

Ladies, when it comes to dressing for a date, men want to see you look your best, but we also want you to be dressed appropriately for whatever activity we’ve got planned for you. Case in point, wearing heels to a park isn’t going to make for a great walk. You get the point.

Many women ask me what types of outfits men find appropriate but sexy, and where the line is drawn between sexy and “easy.” Here are some tips to help you get dressed for your big night out (or in).

1. The Coffee Date
Most coffee dates are going to take place in the daytime, so leave the cocktail dresses at home and go light on the makeup. If it’s during the day (and in the warmer months), showing a little leg won’t hurt. Also, hats could be a bonus if you have something that suits you well, i.e. fedora, beanie, etc. Cute summer dresses, or even your hottest work outfit, will do.

2. The Dinner Date
If we’re taking you out to dinner, we’re serious about wanting to get to know you. Wear something that shows off your best features, but nothing that makes it hard for us to hold eye contact. Dinner dates (or night dates) are the perfect time to dress up and bust out those sexy stilettos. Most guys won’t even know what stilettos are, but we do know that you will be looking elegant.

3. The Activity Date
Depending on the activity, there will be a good chance things could get active. This doesn’t mean you need to break out the workout clothes or Lululemon pants. Instead, throw on some leggings in case you need to be limber, and some flats so your footwear doesn’t limit you. In this case, comfort should be accounted for so your attention will be spent on us, and not a wardrobe malfunction.

4. The Surprise Date
These are hardest dates to dress for, because chances are you have no idea what the guy has planned for you. He’s trying to be romantic and mysterious, so he tells you to be ready for anything. By anything, assume it’s going to require you looking your best. A dress, leggings, or skinny jeans will all do as long you’re dressing to impress. This is a good time to go with something sexy over comfortable.

If you haven’t gotten the hint yet, then I’ll just tell you plain and simple: men are visual creatures. We get excited when we see a hint of skin or the silhouette of your body. But, we also want to be able to bring you home to Mom and/or Bubby — so always keep it tasteful.

All the single ladies — listen up! This is for you. When getting dressed for a first date LESS IS NOT MORE. Dress sexy yet conservatively to show self respect. Skirts and shorts should go to your fingertips when standing. No one wants to flash that triangle of panty (please, please, wear panties) or have to constantly pull down their skirt to cover their cottage cheese (or, if you’re lucky enough not to have cellulite, then to ensure your skirt and not your tushie is touching the chair when you are sitting down). Tops can show some cleavage but there should be no risk of a nip slip and no bust spilling out on the table when you lean over. If you have to constantly adjust your top, pull up or across or down, then don’t wear the top. Your bra should at no point be showing, not the straps or the lace or the seams. If you are showing your legs, then cover your chest and vice-versa. Respecting yourself by respecting your body is sexier than any amount of skin you show.

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