Category Archives: Your Heart’s Desire

About nine months ago I started writing a book on how to follow your dreams. With my mentor’s guidance and my wife’s tireless editing, the book is finally out. Over the next few days I will post ordering information. In fact, I will add a PayPal widget on the left here as soon as I figure out postage rates and all that. There will also an audio version available and downloadable print and audio versions soon too. Stay tuned.

What a wonderful journey writing this book was. Even now, seeing the finished product, I am reminded how much I need to keep practicing what I preach, how I need to keep doing the things that worked to get me this far.

Lefty told me the other day that the only negative thought is the one you can’t get out of your head. I am learning that it’s not just disciplining my thinking from the unhelpful messages that run through—the self-criticisms, self-doubts, fears, resentments, the shame—I need to discipline my thinking to keep my head free and clear for the inspiration of the muse, of spirit, of my dreams. That means plans for the future, what I want to write next, and so on. I need to keep learning how to slow down and be in the moment. My driven personality is all well and good, until I can’t stop. I have written hundreds of posts, dozens of stories and songs, made many videos—all in less than a year. It has been a staggering outpouring. But I need to remember to keep my thinking focused and clear, I need to remember to breath, I need to remember to stop and take it easy sometimes. I need to remember I need a mentor and friends like you. I am already on to the next projects—(a cd of my chants and a book of short stories)—and that’s OK, but I need to be here now and enjoy the success of writing and publishing a book that will help people live the life they’ve always wanted.

So the book is out and I need to read its message now more than ever.

Thank you for all of your support. Please spread the word about the book and the blog (I also have a new YouTube channel called, thewonderchildsings. You, my dear readers, are shining stars that help me make it through the dark.

The world, even if it is just the world of your own family, or your world

in the mirror needs you to live your true destiny.

So keep moving. Read these last two paragraphs in Emmet Fox’s chapter

Your Heart’s Desire and celebrate all of the amazing work you have done.

You totally rock!

You are amazing.

And I am very proud of you.

Blessings to you on your journey.

I hope to meet you along the way.

Paragraphs 20-22, by Emmet Fox

“It will now be clear to the student that discontent is not necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it is your duty to be discontented with anything less than complete harmony and happiness. Discontent is an evil only when it takes the form of discouragement, cynicism, or despair. A wholesome discontent with dullness, failure, and frustration is your incentive for overcoming such things. Without it, you would never find your true place. But, whoever you are, your true place is calling, calling, calling, and, because you really are a spark of the Divine, you will never be content until you answer.

Remember that this call is the call of God, and when God calls you to His Service, He pays all the expenses in whatever kind of coin. “What soldier goeth to war at his own charge?” Whatever you may require to answer that call, God will provide. Money, opportunity, introductions, knowledge, training, freedom, leisure, strength, and courage—all will He furnish, if you be about His business and not your own.

Your Heart’s Desire is the Voice of God, and that Voice must be obeyed sooner or later.”

-Emmet Fox

Commentary

These are such a power-packed paragraphs! Remember back to our launch entry, way back 16 weeks ago? Remember I tried to hook you with all of those questions? Those were all designed to help you remember your discontent—your wholesome discontent. And I am so glad Fox makes the distinction. I used to like drama and inner turmoil so much I’d slide right into despair if I realized I was discontented. The despair would get me to freeze and then I wouldn’t have to try and then my penchant for addictive behaviors would be triggered. It was all a part of the elaborate drama I used to check out.

Thank goodness I do not have to live that way anymore.

Be content with feeling discontent. You would not have started this journey if you were completely content or satisfied with where you are in your life right now. Imagine yourself a butterfly nearing the time for it to emerge. The struggle to emerge is crucial to its survival. It is not content to stay, shrouded and spun. It yearns and aches to stretch and fly.

So take your discontent as a gift.

Once I heard a guy give a talk and say, “all desire is bad.” He went on to say, all of the suffering in the world is due to desire. And I felt sorry for that guy. He clearly hasn’t lived a full, human life yet. I am not saying that to one-up him. I am simply saying anyone who says things like that has never lived their Heart’s Desire. Selfish, greedy desires coming from sick, twisted appetites—yes, these aren’t so healthy. But the kind of desire that lifts you to achieve great things and to serve the world–these are not evil desires. These are God given and good, for lack of a better word. In fact, the etymology dictionary says that the roots of the word desire come from de sidre, which means, from the stars. So the desires we have to dream, achieve, use our gifts, share our gifts, and help the world, are from heaven–they are blessed by the moon and stars, and of course, by the Sun.

Finally, I love how Fox encourages us, how he reminds us over and over that we are part of the Divine; that our true place–our Heart’s Desire is always calling. Even when you’ve found it, the calling turns into a song of gentle reinforcement, but it’s still sounding.

Sure we could live our lives without ever living our Heart’s Desire. We could settle for mediocrity, for not really living—watching TV until we fade away, complaining of one aliment after another. Or we could live, really live.

I know you want life and want it more abundantly. You’ve stuck this through for 16 weeks! So rise up and reclaim your dreams. Go forward and hear the call, the call for Home, and celebrate the work you have done and are doing.

Questions

1). Do you agree with Fox that a certain kind of discontent is healthy and even necessary?

2). Are you able yet to hear your true place, Your Heart’s Desire calling? If not, where do you think you’re stuck? Go back through the exercises and see what feelings come up. Notice which ones, if any, you haven’t done. Ask yourself: what’s the resistance? Seek support. Talk to your buddy or mentor. Email me at josephanthony@thewonderchildblog.com. And share your successes and concerns.

You’re still here. You have the key—forgiveness, and you have hopefully

begun making restitution for any past harms.

To truly forgive you must be right with yourself.

You must accept yourself for who and what you are.

The more you accept yourself and those around you,

and the more you make restitution for your past transgressions,

the easier it will become to forgive others

and yourself.

In addition, the easier it will be for you

to accept forgiveness from others.

So keep going on making your amends.

The more you make, the clearer the channel will become.

This week and next mark the end of this sixteen week eCourse.

You’ve come a long way.

This week we will look at paragraphs 18 and 19 and next week

we will finish it all up with paragraphs 20-22.

It has been an honor being here with you these last four months.

If you feel incomplete once this course is over, remember you can

email me with any questions you might have.

I will be happy to help continue guide you

through any doubts and fears that may come your way.

Know this: You are a success. You are a child of God

and God has a dream for you.

Even if you feel utterly convinced that you do not have a dream

or absolutely do not know what your dream is

trust me—if you are a human being (and I am assuming you are!)

you have a dream. You have a Heart’s Desire.

If you don’t know what it is

that’s because it’s blocked—the channel to God’s voice is still blocked.

Clear the channel. Utilize the power of forgiveness, discipline your thinking,

and be willing to become mentorable.

I have been saying from the beginning to get a buddy, a friend, a mentor

to keep you motivated and encouraged as you move through

this extraordinary, life-changing process.

One of the most helpful things I have done

is learning how to create a vision board or a dream board.

As a free gift for making it this far

I am including the link to the free ecourse that Lefty and I wrote in the exercise section of this post.

It’s yours for free and for fun and I hope you use it. Cheers!

So here we go. Paragraph’s 18 and 19 of Emmet Fox’s Heart’s Desire:

“It is most important to understand also that, for practical purposes, the amount of this Energy that one has at his command is limited, and therefore, all that is frittered away in unnecessary or trifling activity or thought is so much taken out of one’s capital, so much withdrawn from the things that really matter in life. If only people understood this, they would save themselves a great deal of wear and tear in the course of a day. And, if all waste is foolish, how much more deadly is it to squander one’s resources upon the kind of thinking that is absolutely destructive. Yet, I have known people, as I suppose we all have, actually rehears trouble beforehand—thereby, of course, bringing it upon themselves—through saying such things as that they never had any luck, that they felt quite sure that some important scheme would fail, that they expected to be ill, and so on. One who understands the Law of Being and how it works would no more think of wasting thought by allowing himself to occupy his mind with in harmony than a business man would dream of throwing away money into the gutter as he walked along the streets.”

As far as God is concerned, our supply of Divine Energy is, of course, absolutely unlimited; there is no check of any kind upon the amount of it that we can appropriate, or, therefore, upon the things that we can do or be. Yet, for practical purposes, it remains that at any given time you can draw from the inexhaustible Source only in accordance with the measure of your understanding, just as you can draw water from the Atlantic only in accordance with the size of the vessel you use. If you have a pint pitcher you can get only a pint of ocean water, although the number of points in the Atlantic runs into inconceivable figures. At the same time, it is well to remember that very few people do, in fact, draw anything like as much of the Divine Energy as they could draw, even with their present understanding. Almost everyone is foolish content to fill his pitcher, small as it may be, to somewhere very far short of the top.”

Emmet Fox

Commentary

What kinds of thoughts do you fritter away the Divine Energy thinking? Mine are all forms of fear, self-doubt, self condemnation, condemnation of others, guilt and thoughts of anger. When I began writing the book form of this ecourse, the first thought that popped in my head was: “You’re too old! You’ll never get a book published.” Using my mental disciplines as discussed in previous entries, I caught the thought, thanked it for coming, and then replaced it with a helpful thought: “Yeah, well, Lloyd C. Douglas didn’t publish his first book until he was 50!” In addition, it became much easier to write a book once I paid back all the bookstores I had stolen from. I used to get books at yard sales that were in good shape and then return them for store credit at major bookstore chains. How could I ever expect to write a book when I carried guilt for those crimes? Luckily I did make my amends, I paid back every cent—in person–and low and behold the book is done and being revised. The point is the container becomes smaller and smaller the more we worry, fret, judge, fear, and give in to doubts.

All of the Divine Energy is at our disposal. We need only clean out the vessel. The more we do the more it magically grows to be able to be filled to overflowing.

Once again we are given the injunction: change how you think—that is one of the biggest keys-next to forgiveness that we have discussed here at Your Heart’s Desire. Thoughts are things; we become what we think about; and so on. I can only expect the channel to clear in direct proportion to my letting go of old patterns of negative thinking. And most of that thinking is due to being wrapped around strong emotions like resentment, fear, and guilt. Change how you think, make restitution, forgive, and them simply go to the water, go the Source, and dip your vessel in—draw out the holy Water of Life. You will be given to overflowing once you kneel before that Source and receive in reverence, your own Heart’s Desire.

The basic gist of these paragraphs—LIVE your life—try not to worry, LIVE. As much as we do not like to think about it, no one gets out of this world alive, and so it’s important that when death finds you, it finds you alive. It is time to rise up and live your dreams. Your Heart’s Desire is calling and aching to be shared with the world.

Questions

1). In what ways do you need to discipline your thinking? Truly inventory what you spend your time thinking about the most.

2). Think about someone you know that is a chronic worrier. What is your initial emotional response to them? If it’s a negative one—I suggest you employ the spot-it-you-got-it principal and work on your worries. Conversely, think about someone you know that is always happy and cheerful, who gets a lot done with little complaining. Employ the spot-it-you-got-it principal here as well. You must recognize something in them that you possess. So do as they do.

3). What prayers, affirmations could you use to help replace the worry thoughts?

Exercises

Meditation and mindfulness are two important practices we can use to help calm the mind. So is exercise and physical activity. Read over the following suggestions and use what you like. There are a million books out there on meditation. Find one that appeals to you and put its ideas into practice. What follows are just the barest of beginnings.

1). Try practicing the following meditation techniques: These may not seem like your traditional meditative practices as they do not involve sitting cross-legged or closing your eyes. But they are meditative in nature and I have found them extremely effective in helping clear the channel to listen to my intuition.

a. Learn to listen to others tell stories about themselves. To do this find someone, a friend, spouse, child, a senior citizen at an old-folk’s home, wherever, and ask them to tell stories about themselves. Ask them specific questions you’d like to know—and little children and senior citizens are best for these—things like: what is prayer? What do you think God is like? Why are the clouds the way they are? Ask a senior citizen what their hopes for the world are. Ask the questions then listen…really listen.

b. Learn to be where you say you’re going to be when you say you’re going to be there. This may sound trite or superficial, but I mean it one-hundred percent. I used to consider myself “spiritual” but I did whatever I wanted—showed up late, if at all. I broke commitments and promises, and so on. Learning to be a person of my word has greatly lessoned my anxieties. I needn’t walk around as afraid because I know I will only say yes to those things I can really follow through with. I am learning to set boundaries. So, as a life-long exercise—learn to be reliable and to keep commitments, and to commit wisely.

c. Find or write a positive affirmation and use it to replace the worries and anxieties that pass through your mind. The trick is to learn to catch the unhelpful thoughts that you don’t want. Try not to resist them or fight them. Instead, just let them have their say, and then replace them with a more positive thought.

These three techniques, when used regularly, will help you develop, naturally, without force, your ability to listen to your intuition. Intuition is all about active listening—to God, to others, and to yourself. If you learn to really listen to others tell their stories and, while you’re listening to them, weave your story in with theirs, most of your problems will be solved. And when you learn to be a reliable, committed person, you will feel less anxious and a lot happier. And happiness helps clear the channel.

Thank you for coming to Your Heart’s Desire. We only have only one week left! So get your dreams and goals in focus and keep moving on with your amends and with learning to listen to your intuition. See you next week for the Grand Finale!

The art of making amends is essentially simple. Here are some general guidelines you can use:

If you owe money, find a way to pay it back, even little by little—it’s not yours. Of course do not wreck your present financial circumstances by paying off tons of debt. Just commit to paying it all back little by little in payments agreed upon by your victim.

If you broke something that doesn’t belong to you, fix it or pay to have it repaired or replaced.

If you stole something, give it back or pay to have it replaced.

And yes, it is crucial, where ever possible,

to seek out the people you’ve harmed

and talk with them face to face.

Go to the people you have carried resentments towards and tell them you’re sorry for thinking ill of them for so many years, and then change how you think about them and how you act towards them.

In the Big Book of Alchoholics Anonymous, how to make amends is discussed at length since it is the Ninth Step of the 12 Step Program of recovery. In the Big Book, one very important caveat is mentioned when making amends:

Make the amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” If we’ve harmed someone to the extent that they might have blocked out that hurt—then leave it go—there is no need to ease our guilt at their expense. Find a different way to make amends without discussing the harmful incident. God will show you a way to make it right. Direct amends are best, but sometimes it isn’t possible. We need to take into account the person receiving the amends. If we think they cannot handle what we’re telling them, we find a different way. Likewise, if making the amends will harm your or your family in any significant ways, then leave it go and find an indirect way to make the amends.

Some of your amends might actually require that you go to the police and confess illegal things you’ve done in the past—

Remember you want to live your Heart’s Desire,

so, in the long run, learning to accept the consequences

of our actions is crucial

to learning to live responsibly.

And Your Heart’s Desire

is calling you to be responsible.

Your Heart’s Desire needs to know you will live a life of integrity.

Forgiving others and fixing what you broke in the past

is the most positively life-changing action you can ever take

—both for your life and the life of the person

you are making amends to.

The person or organization you owe money to might staunchly refuse to accept repayment. Insist they do. Tell them your future depends on it. If they still refuse and say things like: “Oh you’re just honoring me for even coming to me. Keep your money.” You need to try and fix it still. Saying sorry or having the other person forgive you is not enough—you must pay back what you’ve stolen or else it will be taken from you later on.

What about making amends to yourself—forgiving yourself? Fox makes it clear you need to forgive ourselves. However, may I suggest the way to doing this is by truly living Your Heart’s Desire and by forgive others first. As you move through that process—of accepting their forgiveness and clearing your side of the street, you will naturally begin loving and accepting yourself in a way you probably have never experienced before.

And some of them will not forgive you. They might accept their money back from you and still hate you or hold a grudge against you, that’s OK…Well, you know what I mean—if you’ve tried, and you’ve made restitution, then leave the rest go. Move on to the next amends, allow that person to have their own process of forgiveness. Rest assured, somewhere in the back of their minds they will always remember what you did, and that can only have a gradual and positive affect on them.

One last thing, obviously you will not finish all of your amends in one week. It may even take the rest of your life. As long as you get the process started and are willing to make all of your amends the channel will clear. It is the willingness plus taking the actions, even the barest of beginnings that will begin cleaning the vessel. So fear not, just begin the process. Once you do, the way will not only open, but will open with a clear, unobstructed path.

“This is why all true spiritual leaders are so insistent upon the need for unselfishness in motive, for forgiveness of others and of ourselves too, and for a general attitude of peace and good will toward all; for only in this way can we get that sense of true harmony and freedom that will permit the clear unobstructed flowing of the Divine Mind through us. Only in this way can we become a free channel for the Divine Energy to express Itself at the point of Being, which is our Selves. This spiritual state of consciousness in which the Life Force finds unrestricted outlet which is so essential if we are to experience any kind of good, is technically known as serenity, and serenity, the great mystics are never tired of telling us, comes from within. It is not to be imposed from without by manipulating conditions or circumstances, or by any exercise of the will, but can only be derived from the natural, free flowing of our Divine Energy.”

Commentary, Questions, Exercises, by Joseph Anthony

Do you see the key? It isn’t serenity. It’s the thing that will “permit the clear unobstructed flowing of the Divine Mind.” What is it?

Forgiveness

—the thing all true spiritual leaders are so insistent upon. Fox didn’t just make this up.

Listen to the following statements by Jesus:

Matthew 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Matthew 5:23-24 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Jesus is very clear—if you want the blessings from above, go make things right with your brother. In other words, He says, don’t even bother praying until you go make amends with whomever you are angry at—especially those people you are angry at “without a cause.” We all know about this—we all have fantasy resentments in our heads from time to time—people we’re mad at that we don’tt even know or have never met, or that we do know but they have no idea (consciously, that is) that we are holding a grudge for our own unmet expectations.

“Raca” incidentally means, worthless, contempt, vain. Have you ever felt these things towards anyone? Have you resolved those feelings before saying your prayers? That’s what Jesus and Fox are saying—make it right then pray.

And this step (which is really Step Nine in the 12 steps of AA) is the one most people do not do. We want to be forgiven, but rarely do we want to go out and fix what we broke. We want fast, intuitive answers, but do not want to clear the channel. And if we do not sweep off our side of the street, “nothing worthwhile can be accomplished (Big Book).” Things may get accomplished in our lives—we might get jobs, watch funny, informative TV shows, become involved in local politics, start businesses or relationships, we might buy houses or fancy cars, we might even go to church every Sunday or synagogue every Sabbath, but nothing worthwhile, nothing lasting, eternally significant will happen unless we forgive others and have ask them to forgive us. As Emmet Fix would say, “that is the whole truth of the matter.”

Forgiveness is the key to Your Heart’s Desire.

And this is one of the reasons we are so distracted and into accomplishing so many seemingly important little dramas. We get so excited and feel smugly complacent when we see the latest movie on opening day, when our team wins the championship, when we close that business deal or get that job. Yet somewhere inside we sense a weird failure in everything we do that is not of God and that does not move us towards our Heart’s Desire, but our vision as to why our lives are like this is clouded with resentment and fear, guilt and shame.

But we are after more here at the Wonder Child Blog.

YOU are after more or you wouldn’t be reading this right now.

Why do we have to go through such an extreme step in order to accomplish anything truly worthwhile? Because we are essentially here to “fit ourselves to become of maximum service to God and the people about us (Big Book).” And Emmet Fox is clear that to be following God’s will, to be serving God and our fellows, is to be living our Heart’s Desire, which is how we serve God to our maximum and how we can be of the most help to those about us. And in order to do this we need to live in a state of forgiveness.

This step is the key because once we have our resentments, fears, and harms down on paper, and have read them to someone else; we are then free to find the people we affected and harmed and seek their forgiveness.

How does we go about making amends or restitution? Next week I will give clear, practical suggestions. This week, simply absorb the information and reflect upon it. It is a lot. And some readers might feel discouraged. Fear not, many of us have done damaging things to others and ourselves and miracles of forgiveness have happened. And if it can happen for one it can happen for all.

Questions and Exercises

1). Reflect on how you feet now that you’ve discovered the key to Your Heart’s Desire. Do you feel disappointed or scared? Do you think it is completely unrelated to following your destiny? Do you feel it is too tall an order to accomplish?

2). Reflect on what you think forgiveness means.

3). Have you ever given thought to forgiving those around you or yourself?

4). Do you think there are things which can never be forgiven?

5). Is forgetting a part of forgiving?

To close out this week, I will leave you with some other words by Emmet Fox on forgiveness. They come from his marvelous essay on the Lord’s Prayer.

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.”

“As we repeat [that line of] the Lord’s Prayer intelligently, considering and meaning what we say, we are suddenly, so to speak, caught up off our feet and grasped as though in a vice, so that we must face this problem–and there is no escape. We must positively and definitely extend forgiveness to everyone to whom it is possible that we can owe forgiveness, namely to anyone who we think can have injured us in any way. Jesus leaves no room for any possible glossing of this fundamental thing…we are inevitably obliged either to forgive our enemies in sincerity and truth, or never again repeat the Lord’s Prayer….Notice Jesus obliges us to declare that we have actually forgiven, and forgiven all, and he makes our claim to our own forgiveness to depend on that.”

I love watching bees gathering nectar from flowers. To watch them amble into a blossom and walk along the silken curtains is pure delight.

Put yourself into that image a moment—of being a worker bee gathering provisions for the hive. See yourself walking into a sacred hall completely surrounded—top to bottom with pink or yellow curtains. See how easily you might stumble in the soft folds as you make your way to the center. How you would ecstatically gather the gifts left on the altar in baskets carried at your sides. How you would thrum with a Divine urgency to complete your task. How you would be charged with an electric desire for sweetness—and to work for the good of the hive. How it would be so hard to turn back from that sacristy of wonder and soar, not knowing if you will find another. And yet, that unknowing would be just a part of the play—for in your heart of hearts you would know–there are other sanctuaries—there are as many as you need, each one opening before you as you dip and rise in the morning air on your holy search for the stuff dreams are made of—the nectar of labor—the pollen of ideas—the honey of desire.

Why not do this now, right where you are? Know that you have a dream and that it is laden with sweetness. It is a dream to fulfill your Heart’s Desire. And Your Heart’s Desire blends seamlessly with the Desires of the Heart of the World—to share, to give, to shine, and to work together in one incredibly beautiful, intricate, and marvelous dance– to spread the gifts of the sun into the darkest corners of the hive of your community.

But you mustn’t kid yourself—you need to know that just as there are assassin bugs hidden in the curtains of the flower waiting to ambush the honeybee, there are doubts and fears hiding behind the curtains of your mind seeking to destroy your dreams and thwart your desires.

So look before you leap. There is little wisdom in just jumping into the darkness—no matter how romantic some people would like to make this act to sound. Study yourself and what it is you want to share with the world. Know yourself and your dreams. Know what you’re after. And while the honeybee is a lone forager, you needn’t embark on your journey alone. Take the hand of a mentor and soar with them to the fields laden with possibilities that await those workers brave enough to face their fears and doubts and leave them far below, as they rise to new heights of creativity and wonder.

*****************

Many of you who know me or follow me on facebook or twitter, have heard me use the expression: “You’re the bee’s knees.” Now you know why I say it. Pass it on. The world needs all the sweetness it can get—the sweetness of positive acknowledgement and praise, the honey of gratitude, and the pollen of encouragement. It needs you and your baskets of destiny to go out into the world and spread the nectar of Your Heart’s Desire.

Before we embark on the most challenging and rewarding task in Your Heart’s Desire, it will be helpful to review how far we’ve come these last 12 weeks.

Here are some of the things you are learning thus far:

You are learning that in order to find your true place in life you need to be able to listen to the voice of God as It speaks to your heart (intuition).

You are learning how you really feel about God and your relationship with that Power.

You are learning that you are indeed worthy to prosper in every way.

You are learning that God wants YOU and that there is a special place in God’s plan for you in the Universe.

You are learning that you needn’t ever compete for your true place in life. You are the only person in the history of time that can and will fill that place.

You are learning that you needn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for following your dreams.

You are learning that you have unique talents and gifts that God wants you to develope and share–and have fun doing so!

You are learning to replace negative thoughts (without fighting them) with positive ones.

You are learning that the real key to the Law of Attraction is giving to others.

You are learning that addictive behaviors play a significant role in keeping people from living their Heart’s Desire. You are learning that there is a solution to those behaviors.

You are learning that laws matter—both worldly and heavenly.

You are learning that you are not a victim. You are responsible for your life as it is today.

You are learning that you are channel for the Divine Mind.

You are learning that you hold within yourself hidden splendor and thatthat splendor wants to be expressed for the betterment of yourself and the world.

You are learning that you have free will. You can create the life you want.

You are learning that resentments, fears, harms done to others, limiting beliefs, and so on, block the flow of the Divine Energy through you. You must become aware of these parts of yourself and be willing to share them with someone else so that the listener can help you find out your part in harboring such feelings and so you can release any shame attatched to them.

If you stop and think about it, in just 12 short weeks you have learned a lot about yourself, the nature of God and Your dreams. You have done tremendous work. You have done more work in 12 weeks than most people will do in a lifetime. You can feel proud of what you have accomplished thus far.

One Last List.

This week we will not read a paragraph from Emmet Fox. Instead we will simply let you revel in how far you’ve come and then do one last, difficult list—the harms you have done to others.

Make a list similar to the last few lists, but this time, as honestly as you can, write down as many of the harms you can remember doing to other people or animals. Have to stolen money? Have you stolen time? Have you stolen other people’s possessions? That could mean anything from a pen to a car, and so on. Have you ever broken something that belonged to someone else and never replaced it or paid for it? Have you ever been physically violent to animals or other people? Have you repeatedly broken promises and lied to others? Have you used other people for your own gains? Write everything down. Start with one column and list who you harmed. In the second column write what you did. In the third column write why you did it, and in the forth column, write how you think the other person felt, or will feel about what you have done.

This is a difficult list and you might be thinking again that it is unnecessary to discovering Your Heart’s Desire. I can assure you from personal experience and from the experience of watching scores of other people—that if you uncover these hard facts about yourself, you will discover Your True place in life, and hence recover Your Divine Birthright.

So finish the list and then yes, find a trusted person you can read it to. THIS IS CRUCIAL TO YOUR LONG-TERM SUCCESS. YOU MUST GET OUT INTO THE LIGHT AND STOP HIDING AND KEEPING SECERETS. The world needs you—all of you. So take the risk. Get it all out. You will be glad you did.

Name the person you harmed.

What did you do? Be specific but brief.

Why did you do what you did?

How do you suppose the other person involved felt or will feel as a result of your action?

Some people may object to writing these lists—the resentment list, the fears list, and this list of harms. They might say I am focusing too much on the negative, that sensitive people like us can’t handle such truth about ourselves. To which I reply, the vessel needs to get clean, the channel needs to get clear, and we do not advance by shying away from painful truths about ourselves. We do not advance if we look for only soft ways of living. You are, of course, perfectly free to make a list of all the positive, wonderful characteristics you have, and I even encourage you to do so. For now, we are preparing ourselves for the key to Your Heart’s Desire, and for that key you will need to know why you carry resentments and what and whom you resent. You will need to know why and who or what you are afraid of. And you will need to know who you have harmed. The key to Your Heart’s Desire hinges on this information.

Part 10, with its inventories, might have proven to be the most difficult ones

you’ve had yet at Your Heart’s Desire.

I congratulate you if you got through all of the exercises as outlined.

Obviously

you can only get out of this course

what you put in

and the more truthfully and earnestly you strive,

the more Your Heart’s Desire

will manifest in ways you seek.

If you really did the exercise

of reading your lists to someone you trust

you are probably feeling lighter

and freer than you have in a long time

—maybe ever.

That’s the goal.

So keep trekking.

This week is similar to Part 10,

so get those pencils, yellow legal pads,

and buddies ready.

Paragraph 16, by Emmet Fox

“When we are in a condition of fear, anger, or worry, our Divine Energy, instead of flowing in some positive, creative work, becomes damned up within ourselves, like the water in the garden hose, and produces all sorts of trouble in soul and body. Meanwhile, our true work in life is either missed altogether, or, starved of the supply of Life Force which it should receive, it languishes accordingly, and we get mediocrity, poverty, and failure.”

Commentary, Questions, and Exercises, by Joseph Anthony

You can see how these last two paragraphs are helping you move towards your Heart’s Desire. If you want to hear the whisperings of God you need a clear channel. And to clear the channel you need to be free of fear, anger, spiritual pride, criticisms of others, and so on. You can see, judging from the amount of failure, mediocrity, and poverty there is in the world, how most people live in this place. You can see in your own life that when you focus on past resentments and fears, regrets, and self pity, how easy it is to settle for mediocrity–it takes so much energy to live in fears or angers, real or imagined, that there is little left for real living.

The Big Book says that harboring feelings such as resentments “shut us off from the Sunlight of the Spirit.” We can easily see how this is the case. The Big Book also says that fear is “an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set into motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But didn’t we, ourselves, set the ball rolling?”

Obviously some of our fears we didn’t consciously set the ball rolling for. I seem to have been born with a fear of spiders—it’s just always been there. My fear of violence however, was inspired by violent things happening to me, but it was also inspired by the countless disgustingly violent movies I watched as a teen and young adult. I also used to fantasize for hours about either having violence done to me or me doing violence to others. That’s just the sad truth. In addition, I hungered for gloom and doom news. I constantly listened to radio programs and watched television shows that bemoaned the destruction of the environment. I was fascinated by headlines of violence and mayhem, and I slowed down to stare at car accidents and dead animals on the side of the road. There were lost, wasted days and nights when I sat looking at YouTube trying to find the most frightening and violent images I could find.

I share these personal facts about my past to illustrate what the Big Book says, namely, that many of our fears we set into motion, or at very least perpetuate, ourselves.

There was one other way I used to set the ball of fear rolling in my life—I used to live dishonestly. I was a thief, a liar, and a cheat. So I went around paranoid that the people I had stolen from were around every corner. Luckily I was able to live out the key to my Heart’s Desire (which we’ll find in Part 13) and thus have freed myself of this checkered, destructive, and painful past.

It is my hopes that by me sharing my story a little bit some of you will identify enough to dig deep into your minds to uncover your deepest fears and get them on paper.

Finally, as we clear out our resentments thoroughly and sincerely, the Big Book says we “straighten out mentally and physically.” Who among us hasn’t experienced a pain in their guts or back only to have it disappear after dealing with a deep seeded resentment or fear? Our bodies, souls, and minds are linked. When we do healing work in one area, the other two areas are positively affected.

Questions

1). How have you settled for mediocrity in your life as a result of living in past resentments and fears?

2). Have you ever blamed your own failures on other people or events that happened years or maybe decades ago?

Exercises

1). Make a list like last week, but this time inventory your fears. Write as many as you can, being as honest and thorough as possible. Write down even the ones that sound silly. Get them all down. Try not to minimize your feelings in these inventories. All of your feelings are important here. When you’re finished, read this list to your trusted friend or counselor.

Name the person, place, idea, dream, or circumstance you are afraid of. No sentences-just name the fear.

Why are you afraid of this person, event, idea, or dream? What happened in as short a retelling as possible?

What part of you is threatened by this fear? Your pocket-book, self esteem, relationships, sex relations, social prestige, ambitions, or pride?

How did you, if at all, get the ball rolling?

2). If watching or listening to depressing, gloom and doom media stories makes you afraid or anxious, consider stopping listening and watching them. Remember–if it hurts—stop. If it makes you crazy—stop. Go on a media-free fast for the next few weeks just to help clear out the negative thoughts.

3). Make a list of your so-called failures, and inventory if they’ve taught you anything that has proven to be helpful. Has any aspects of past failures proven to be positive in any way?

Great work, friends. You are ever so close to living the spiritual practice that will enable you to begin listening to God’s voice—the whispers of Your Heart’s Desire. Next week, we have one last list to write and a little review, and then, in Part 14, we get the key to it all.

As one begins to follow their Heart’s Desire, wonderful, and otherwise, unaccountable things happen to both encourage you and guide you along the way. It might be a chance encounter with a homeless person in the city, or a check might arrive in the mail just when you need it most. It might also come in the form of a vacation. Here is a little story that happened to my wife and I that affirmed I am on the right track with my Heart’s Desire.

A few months ago, my friend Daryn asked if I’d be a groomsman in his wedding. He was getting married, May 28th in Phoenix. Living in Philly, and with an uncertain employment future, I initially told him I wouldn’t be able to do it. I felt sad about this because May 28th is also my wedding anniversary, and this year my wife and I will have been married for 17 years, and we have never gone on a trip for our anniversary before. I also wanted to support Daryn on his big day. I really wanted to make it happen somehow.

So I just kept it treasured in my heart and in my mind, and I kept living my dreams of being a writer and musician.

Then one day Daryn said he really wanted me in his wedding, so much so that he said he’d pay for our plane tickets. After talking it over with my wife, we accepted his offer. The next day, my in-laws said we could use their time share—they have one in Phoenix! So our lodging was covered! They even said they’d watch the kids, the dog, AND the bunny while we were away! Then my wife remembered she had $700 gift certificate from the college she teaches at that could be spent on any vacation we choose. Suddenly our trip was completely covered—childcare and all!

And so we went and we had a beautiful time. We hiked in Sedona, ate at nice restaurants, shopped in amazing art stores, visited chapels built into mountains, and walked through amazing outdoor art galleries. We had the best anniversary ever. And being in Daryn’s wedding was a blessing too! Daryn and his wife were sweet, their wedding was beautiful, and my wife and I got to dance our wedding song again on our 17th wedding anniversary. It was a very special time.

Lefty reminded me the other day that abundance doesn’t necessarily show up in the bank account. I really wanted to take my wife on a trip and also support my friend Daryn, and those thoughts, backed by strong feelings (prayers) were sent out into the world, and God sent them back and said, “Here–go. It’s on Me. This will help you follow Your Heart’s Desire.”

And so we went. I am including some video footage of some of the sites. Please pardon the wind sounds…I haven’t come close to mastering the movie-making programs. Enjoy.

Next week we will work on another list, so get those pencils and buddies ready. You are clearing the channel, step by step, and Your Heart’s Desire is moving towards you. And the more you move towards it, the more amazing things happen!

Welcome to Part 11 of Your Heart’s Desire. As I said last week we would have a breakfrom doing exercises in order to give you more timeto complete your inventories.

So today we will discuss the importance of the arts in following your Heart’s Desire.

************************************************

What are you?

You

are a part of God’s self expression.

God sings a song, and that song is you.

Why does God sing?

For sheer joy.

This

is the Absolute Truth.

-Emmet Fox-

The Arts seek to express the colors, flavors, fragrance, songs, and dances of the soul. They seek to draw the forces of nature to and through them to be shared with others in ways that vibrate souls together, like strummed strings of the harp.

They provide an outlet and vehicle for the handling of difficult emotions and experiences, traumas as well as intense joys. And therefore, as agents and emissaries of the beauty of the soul, they help clear the channel of the whisperings of God so that we are better able to follow (or dance with) our Heart’s Desire.

But some of you might already be thinking, “Then my dreams are doomed. I can’t draw, I can’t write poetry, I can’t sing or play a musical instrument, and I most certainly can’t dance!”

To which I reply: Hold on. I am not in any way suggesting, even a little bit, that you need to be an accomplished artist, a published poet, or a recording star in order to manifest your dreams. What I am saying is this:

Those things you just thought up there…all those “cant’s”…they’re lies.

They are all lies someone told you way early on and you believed them. That’s number one.

Number two, everyone, by virtue of being human; by virtue of being a child of an Infinitely Creative Creator—the Ultimate Poet, Artist, Singer, Dancer, and Storyteller—means you have, whether you believe it or feel it—the ability to create artistically, poetically, and musically.

You, by virtue of being part of the music of God have the ability to dance with your every step. In fact, when one stops to consider the very act of walking and how it takes the knowledge of the space in front of you, and of the space behind; how it takes the complete balancing of the head on the torso; and the gentle sway of the limbs; when one considers the delicate, microscopic hairs in your ears and the tiny, dew drops of fluid in your ears and how they all work together to keep you upright—you must acknowledge that your every step is an orchestrated dance, a thing of beauty often overlooked. You have the ability to move through space, like visible poetry. And that’s just walking.

The same goes for the acts of speaking, seeing, tasting, touching, and so on. Everything you and your body does is artistic and creative—you are constantly inhaling bits of sensory information and converting them to some sort of expression of beauty.

The soul has to express itself…It is a law—no, it is more than a law; it simply is the way it is. Creativity is part and parcel of the human experience. As the body breathes, so the soul creates.

Every child I have ever met (and I’ve met lots of children having been a teacher for the past 15 years) sings. They all draw. They all make up stories and love rhyme and rhythm. All of them. I have never found a single exception. Ever.

But where do these impulses to create go? They are taught out of us in many schools and homes. They are crushed out of us by parents and teachers that focus too soon and too much on academics. Adults who have had their own dreams stolen and their own creativity squashed, forcibly turn children’s faces away from the arts in favor of cold, hard (dead) facts. This is one of the main reasons why American schools are failing in so many respects. They have lost beauty. But that’s another story.

And there’s also other types of traumas (for the discounting and removal of art and beauty is a trauma). There are other types of abuse, neglect, and so on that also create inhibitions within us, that also pervert and damage the soul’s inherent desire for beauty. And while the natural inclination of the soul is always towards beauty, when damaged through abuse or addictions, the soul sometimes creates mayhem and havoc, discord, and storms of violence.

The point is you were born with artistic and musical gifts. You were born with a desire to tell stories whether those stories are in rhyme or prose, true or fantasy.

After I began working through my own abuse memories and addictions, and began actively following my Heart’s Desire, deep-seated impulses to express what was happening in my soul began to surface. My desire to share the joy and wonder at what was happening grew. And in my case, I began cultivating my artistic and musical talents. I began writing poetry. And my soul blossomed. With Lefty’s help, the more creativity I shared the more I was inspired to create and to share. I started the Wonder Child Blog. I started a YouTube channel to share my music. And my soul became a garden.

Were there doubts and inner critics? Yes! I had only begun dealing with my negative body image issues, for example, and there I was being videotaped singing and playing guitar. There I was posting videos of myself on the world-wide web.

I had to surrender my inhibitions and perfectionism. I had to move through shame. I had to learn the one characteristic that makes us human—I simply had to learn to play. And when I say “had to,” I mean that literally. My soul’s flowering had to manifest in the same way the rose has to when given the proper care and setting.

So I encourage you to simply draw. Sing. Become conscious that your every move bespeaks a secret dance. And don’t worry about mistakes or looking goofy, or screwing up. Be playful, splash the paint, make a mess, write pure drivel, have fun with it all, laugh with it. After all, “no art,” said Rudolf Steiner, “can be mastered without humor.”

But if learning to sing or draw or write seems like too much right now, then find writers that inspire you and read them. Find music you enjoy and listen to it. Find artists you admire and go to the museum or the library and look at their artwork. Allow creativity to begin flowing through you. Memorize a poem, learn it by heart. Study the life of a great artist. Sing in the car or the shower. Doodle during a business meeting or on a napkin at a restaurant—anything—just begin and watch your heart open.

To end this entry, here is a short list of some of my favorite poets, musicians, and bands:

1). Mary Oliver (poet).

2). William Stafford (poet)

3). Rumi (poet)

4). Rainer Maria Rilke (poet)

5). Emily Dickinson (poet)

6). Van Morrison (singer/songwriter)

7). Jane Siberry (singer/songwriter)

8). Jon Anderson of Yes (singer/songwriter)

9). Israel Kamakawiwo’ole (IZ) (singer/songwriter)

10). Krishna Das (singer/songwriter)

11). Sigur Ros (Icelandic music group)

12). Roger Hodgson of Supertramp (singer/songwriter)

Next week we will continue on with a regular edition of Your Heart’s Desire. In the mean time, finish your inventories and read them to someone.