But then there was that whole insider trading scandal. Stewart was sentenced to nearly six months of jail time in 2004, and Lancaster began to see the domestic doyenne in a new light. “It wasn’t until she went to prison and made friends and ponchos and rose to the occasion that I gained respect for her,” Lancaster says.

Sweet on Martha

Respect ultimately blossomed into full-blown adoration when Lancaster decided to whip up a batch of buttercream frosting following Stewart’s recipe. “When I made her buttercream frosting the first time, I was a convert!” she enthuses.

This convert suddenly realized that she could learn a lot more from her newfound idol. She committed to spending a year of her life living by Stewart’s dictates “because things just weren’t going well for me for a variety of stupid reasons, a lot of them stemming from my complete and utter lack of organization.”

Lancaster, who lives outside of Chicago, embarked on her bold mission in 2012, sucking her husband, Fletch, and their pets into an experiment that had her following Stewart’s advice—gleaned from the icon’s books, magazines and television appearances—on everything from cooking to gardening.

Like she noted above, Lancaster suffered from a lack of organization at the outset of this project. Her closets were a mess. Her pantry was a mess. Everything was a mess, and it made her life more difficult than it needed to be. So she decided to organize her home, starting with her cluttered desk, the one infamous for a “drawer of shame,” full of all sorts of garbage ranging from business cards from the 1990s to sticky Jolly Ranchers. “Every time I opened the drawer, it was too much,” Lancaster says. “It was too daunting. I couldn’t even begin to tackle it. But with Martha’s encouragement, I made myself sit down and open the drawer and start throwing things away that I was never going to use, such as 10-year-old film. The more I started to throw things away, the more liberating it felt, and I think more than anything what I learned about organization from Martha is to just get started, and I learned a lot about making decisions quickly, which I wasn’t good at before.”

Thanks in part to what Lancaster refers to as her “list of shame,” her desk remains organized to this day. “I had to write down every stupid thing that I threw away because I am a writer, and now this is my list of shame,” Lancaster explains. “Every time I think, ‘Oh, I’ll just shove this in the drawer rather than deal with it,’ I can refer to the list and be reminded I need to be on better behavior.”

There is joy in cooking

Lancaster used to just buy pre-made versions of her favorite comfort foods at the grocery store or order out. But inspired by Stewart and guided by her recipes, Lancaster can now whip up brisket, corn pudding and apple pie, among other foods. Lancaster is now actually planning her meals and cooking in advance, saving money and time in the process.

And Lancaster’s newfound kitchen skills benefit others in her life. “I just had a friend who had pretty major surgery, and she was recovering at home and wasn’t going to be up to speed when she went back to work the next week, so I spent an entire week before I went on [my book tour] making different meals that she could have in the freezer,” Lancaster says. “I made enchiladas and meatballs and casseroles and chicken soup. It made me feel like I was a really good friend, and I didn’t feel so bad about being away on tour. Before this experiment living like Martha, I don’t think this is something that would have occurred to me.”

That said, you don’t have to cook for your dogs

Stewart has been known to cook for her dogs, so Lancaster played chef for her pooches. “I cooked a lot of meals for them, and then I realized they are perfectly happy to eat whatever comes out of the can,” Lancaster says, noting, “I think what makes them happy is making sure that I’m spending more time with them. They would rather I play in the yard with them for half an hour than make them something organic.”

It is worth the effort to make homemade gifts

Photo by Jen LancasterLancaster’s dogThere was a time when Lancaster snickered when a friend or family member gave her a homemade gift. “I always thought homemade gifts were cheap,” she says. “I didn’t realize the thought, effort and love that went into them.”

That is, not until she decided to follow Stewart’s advice and knit scarves for some of her friends. Lancaster wasn’t a natural knitter, and she had to use a loom, but she says it felt good to craft something for someone else. “It’s like you’re spending quality time with the person you are making the gift for, even though they don’t know it.”

Meanwhile, Lancaster’s trips to the yarn store were illuminating. “There’s a hierarchy,” she says. “The old ladies with the bowl haircuts and the big glasses and the cat sweatshirts are the coolest women on the face of the earth in a yarn store. I would have never guessed that!”

It’s okay to give up on what you’re not good at

Lancaster’s adventures in gardening didn’t go so well. She overwatered her roses and sat on a mound of red ants while tending to her fledgling organic vegetable garden. “I have accepted about myself that I am not good at putting things in the ground,” she says. “I had Fletch [her husband] plant permanent bushes, and I never have to do anything with them again, and I can concentrate on my little container gardens that come with the nice fresh dirt that isn’t full of bugs.”

But how would Martha feel about this? “I think she would be appalled,” Lancaster says with a laugh. “I don’t think she would cut me any slack whatsoever. But I have accepted this about myself, and I have moved on.”

You, too, can live like Martha Stewart

Tempted to replicate Lancaster’s adventure in all things Martha Stewart? These books are a good start:

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2 responses to “Living Like Martha Stewart”

Like you, I found Martha laughable and smug. (My first experience with her was an early Thanksgiving show, where she harvested cranberries straight from the bog.) But then she chose prison over an appeal in order to save her company (unlike virtually every white collar executive convicted of similar transgressions), and my respect for her skyrocketed. Now at the doctor’s office, I skim through her Living magazine to get ideas. Don’t know that I could do a whole year of her – I hate hate hate gardening, for one thing. But I might take a look at her book.

Initially, I, too, found Martha to be somewhat pretentious. However, after reading some of her ideas, and observing the caring way she suggests to make company feel at home while they visit, I thought of her as someone I’d love to be more like. Now, while I’m clearly more of a Bertha Stewart, Martha’s less detailed sister-in-law, I’m a huge improvement over what I used to be – Beulah Stewart…Martha’s Ex’s careless cousin.