Sunday, December 30, 2007

Since this is my last post for the year, I initially thought I would write about everything that has happened this year. Well, just in my mind it was going to be depressing. So, I am going to find the blessings throughout the past year.

In January, I was blessed to be able to become pregnant.John was blessed with the ability to work for himself for the year.We were blessed that John was able to spend extra time with us.In March, God was watching over Kayden when she was in the hospital and he healed her little body and we were blessed that no permanent damage was done.In April, we saw first-hand the power of prayer.We also saw love and support from our family and friends. I have never seen so many people reach out and try to give us their support.

I was blessed with another daughter and was able to bond with her for 8 months.God blessed me with a friends and husband and we celebrated 5 years together.I was able to travel and see many friends and family in July.I am blessed with a wonderful husband who knew I needed a new house and he surprised me with it in July.We were blessed to be visited by many visitors over the summer.On August 9th, we were blessed to be able to spend the day with our baby girl and share her with our family and friends.I am grateful to Jesus and his sacrifice and the promise that I can one day be with Janey again.I was blessed with a speedy recovery.Once again, our family and friends outpoured their love to us and showed just how important it is to have that.I was blessed to befriend two other women in my same shoes and now share a special bond with them.I was blessed to see a group of college girlfriends and share in Ashley's special day.I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who works so Kayden and I could spend so much time with our family in AR and TN.I was blessed with another year with my wonderful Kayden and celebrate her birthday.Through the holidays many people have remembered our family during this tough time and have expressed their love and support for us.We were able to spend Christmas with both of our families this year and had such a wonderful time with both.

And, there are many more that I did not list. God is good! I know that. And have seen it.I am grateful for the blessings during the year, but I am also grateful that this year is over.I am ready to start a new year and see what it holds. I wish the best for you all in the new year. May your blessings be more than you can list.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Over the past few days, I have been full of surprises (with some help). First, my friend Patience and I planned a surprise Birthday party for our friends Nikki and Stacy. We had just a few friends and the husbands in on the plan. The husbands told them to be ready Thursday night at 6:00 pm and to be dressed up! A few of us arrived to pick them both up. They were both surprised and I think had a good time. We met a few other friends at a rest. called the Bistro. Dinner was wonderful and we had a great time chatting and laughing. After dinner and a little strolling and riding (Mary Catherine) we had dessert at another rest. I got home about 11:00 and was worn out. It was so fun to get dressed up though and go out with the girls. Happy Birthday Nikki and Stacy!

My next surprise was today...John and I decided at about 12:00 to go to Jax. to surprise Lindsey and the kiddos. Chad was in on the plan but he had to work, so we stopped by before we saw Lindsey. Chad told us she was getting gas and so we pulled up right behind her and John yelled something (probably obscene) at her. She was on the phone but looked up and had the most priceless expression. Her mouth dropped open and she just pointed at us. Needless to say, we were so happy to see each other. I think I needed that visit just as much as she did. We went to the condo for a little bit and then met Chad for dinner. Although we didn't get to stay long, we had a great time, as always.Thanks guys, we loved our short trip!

Well, Christmas is only 3 days away! WOW! Hope everyone has a great holiday. Safe travels to everyone too.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Aunt Terri leaves today to come to our house!!!!!! We are so ready to see her. We always have so much fun when she is here. We hope she has a safe trip. Can't wait to see you tomorrow!!!!!We love you,Melissa and Kayden

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

We took a ton of pictures for our Christmas cards. We did get some good ones but these are a few of the "bad" ones. Anyway, this past week or so has been very busy for us. Pictures were taken last weekend, I had a Christmas brunch on Thursday for some girls, we went to a wedding on Saturday night that was Christmas themed and last night I went to a Cookie Swap. Lots of holiday happenings around here. I love this time of year. I just feel so relaxed and in the Christmas spirit. Not a very exciting post, but it had been a week, so I felt the need to get something up here. Hope you have a great week.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

(Disclaimer: This blog is a little like my journal. I write about my life and feelings for my own benefit and remembrance. This post will be an little more emotional than normal. Feel free to stop reading now. You won't hurt my feelings.)

Sunday was a very emotional day for me. I had a friend on my mind that is going through a rough spot in her life. I haven't asked her permission to talk about her yet, so just keep my friend in your prayers right now. Church is difficult for me sometimes. There are a few songs that are really personal and remind me of Janey. I go to a small, traditional church and we use the old school song books with hymns in them. I love that though. I know most of them by heart and I have grown up singing them. Anyway, one song that gets me everytime we sing it is called, Farther Along. One of the verses goes, "When death has come and taken our loved ones, it leave our homes so lonely and drear. Then do we wonder why others prosper, living so wicked year after year." When I sing this song, it reminds me of losing Janey and how much I miss her. So, I spent the rest of service in the nursery. My church family is the best and they are always there to take care of me and make sure I am ok. Thanks girls for the visit! :)Later that day we were invited to a community memorial service by the funeral home. The funeral home that assisted us in Janey's service has performed a service for the past 16 years for all the families they have serviced over the past year. They have a Christmas tree out front and each person that has passed away has an ornament with their name on it. (That is the picture at the top.)John, my parents and I went to the service. Different individuals from the community participated in the service and they have a candle lighting at the end. There were a lot of people there and it was touching that the staff at the funeral home remembered our loved ones. The service was a place I could sit and cry and remember Janey and know that I was surrounded by others just like myself. After the service, John and I spent some time at Janey's grave. That to me is also a place I am free to talk to her and share my thoughts. We have not ordered the marble stone yet, so it is just dirt on top of her grave. I noticed that the grass is growing into the dirt and I realized that time is not standing still. When I got home I went through Janey's cedar chest and thought about her birth day. She is such a special little girl and I have so many wonderful memories of our time with her. To those of you who have lost a child or infant I wish you peace through the holidays. If you are still reading, thank you for taking the time to listen to what is on my heart.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

No pictures for this post, trust me you don't want to see what I am about to talk about.Today, I had Kayden and Lindsey with me and I needed to do a few things in town. I went to Sam's first to unload pics off my camera. While I was waiting in line, I started to feel a little sick. Now, I don't ever vomit. I can count on two, maybe one hand how many times I have actually vomited. Continuing on...I decided against the pictures and scouted the area for the nearest trash can just in case. I am usually able to avoid being sick so I really thought I would be ok. The closest door was the entrance and you know they have the I.D. checker there guarding the door like some bouncer at a club. I motioned to the trash can out the door and said, "I need to get to that trash can!" As I got closer to the door, I realized it wasn't opening. I said, "Can I go out?" She nodded no and stepped back to reveal another trash can. Well, no way was I about to puke next to this lady. Why do they put Do Not Enter on a door? Seriously, isn't that a fire hazard????????????Ok, so I book it out of the EXIT with both girls in the buggy. I head to the far end of the parking lot away from people and cars. Some how I managed to ease my sick feelings and stood there a few minutes. I regained my composure and headed to the car.I had one more quick stop to Michaels and then I would be headed home. The next stop is maybe two miles away. Right before I get to the light to turn, I realize, it is coming up and I have got to get out of the car. I quickly turned into the Michaels parking lot, got out of the line of traffic, put the car in park ( am not sure I even put my foot on the brake) flung my door open just in time to vomit. (Sorry so graphic, but this is the pretty version)Afterwards, I felt ok, finished my shopping and went home. I felt a little sick around lunch but I think it was because I was hungry. I ate some chicken noodle soup and have been fine since. I don't handle being sick at all! It is a wonder that I didn't call my mom to come get me.All this to say, Why don't stores let you go in and out of doors? I bet they would have changed that if I had puked all over their precious ENTER ONLY door!

Friday, November 23, 2007

So tired you crash in the car on the way home and your friend takes your picture...Priceless!

A few girls and I decided we would make the trip to the St. Augustine Outlets last night. They were opening at midnight, yes, I said midnight. We left here at 9:00 pm and got there about 11:00 pm. Some store were already open so we were able to start a little early. I have never seen so many people out at midnight in my life! It was crazy. And the bad thing was, there wasn't that good of sales.When we left there it was about 2:30 am so we went to Waffle House for some breakfast (ha, ha). And to my surprise there were other crazy women there too! JCPenney's opened at 4:00 am so we headed there and stayed at the mall until about 7:30 am. By this time I am thinking, "It has to be about 1:00 pm", NOPE, just 7:30. I had already refilled my Chick fil a sweet tea also. I was dragging but we still had more to do. We went to St. John's town center, Old Navy and Target after that. Seriously, what possessed us to do this, I am still pondering...We ate at Olive Garden at 11:00 and then our last stop was Garden Ridge. I actually got a lot of Christmas shopping done. I had a lot of fun too! So, I have now been awake for 36 hours! My feet are aching, my legs are aching, I look like death but it was all worth it.I know you are loving those pictures, and we were actually sleeping when they were taken. We woke up and laughed about them for a while.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Kayden is truly a blessing in our life. She can make me smile at the drop of a hat. And she can make me cry when I think about how much I love her. She is loved by everyone. Constantly, others are commenting on how pretty she is and how smart she is. I would have to agree!Two years ago I was holding her in my arms. It is hard to believe and I feel like time is just flying by. She is at a fun age and she is really into playing. There are so many things I want to remember about her at this age, so bear with me...another long post.

She likes to use a wet wipe and wipe everything b/c it is "duuuuurty"...She will say "No mam Mommy" when she doesn't want to do something hoping that the mam will offset the no!...She loves to sit on the sink and brush her teeth while her feet are under the water...She tells me "I wuv you" alot...Somehow she got my confidence, b/c when we try to get her to say something or dance sometimes she willsay, "I can't"...At night she and John will sit in the chair and eat popcorn...Kayden is tall and heavy, not fat, just heavy...No matter if we go through a bank, gas station or drive thru, she asks for Chicken and fries...She can spot family members cars anywhere...Pink Crocs are her favorite shoes...Clumsy should be her middle name, b/c she falls, walks into things and trips constantly...she is tough, rarely does she cry...Kayden loves to watch ball games...She is very bossy! I mean we can hear her telling her babies what to do in the back of the house...She loves to read books...Her favorite shoes are Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins and Dora...She loves to watch people sing and dance...Ever since she was a baby she never used a sheet or blanket at night...Kayden loves to play outside and swing...Not only does she repeat our words, but she repeats sentences and conversations. You could actually carry on a conversation with her...She is not fond of sand or dirt in her shoes or on her hands...Her cutest expression is when she wrinkles her nose when she is telling you something...Most mornings the first words are "I want to watch einsteins"...Her giggle will melt your heart...She is very tickelish...She loves to play with babies/carseats/strollers...She loves to play in my makeup, so I bought her some play makeup and she likes to put it on others too...I have also seen her spank the baby and tell her "no, no!"...Her imagination is unbelievable for a two year old...Another trait she got from me is her impatience...She likes animals from afar, not to touch...If she sees me crying, so will get in my lap and hold me...She has pointed to my belly and said"Janey not in there" on many occasions...We have to hide her vitamin in her nutragrain bar for breakfast...She will only eat Kraft mac n cheese, not velveeta or homemade...Anytime she is sitting, her feet are crossed like a little lady...When she is praying, she folds her hands and bows her head...And she says, "Amen!"...She likes to take her Bible to class and look through it...She climbs on everything (couch, table)...She is a picky eater...When she comes out of my closet, she always has pair of my high heels on...She has her own dress up shoes that she wears just as much as any other shoes...Usually, Kayden is very nice and pleasant...Every once in a while, she is a little mean and has to be told so...She gives the best kisses and hugs...I love her with all my heart!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Yea, we are back home! After two weeks and lots of visiting we are finally back in GA. A few warnings about the following post...I have ALOT to write about and there are ALOT of pictures. Hope you enjoy them!Kayden and I left on the 20th and headed to Montgomery, AL to stay with my friend Laurie. We have been friends since birth practically. She just moved into a new house and so we were able to see that and have lots of chat time. We got there in time to eat dinner and then we just hung out. Not before stopping at Krispy Kreme though! After church we set out on the next leg of our trip...to Millington, TN.Sunday evening all of the Hicks family came over to Janice's house for dinner. Well, all except Garry who was in Hawaii and Laura and Dalton and John of course. Kayden loves being around her older cousins. I think they like her too. It was pretty cold and rainy there the next few days. We didn't do much but lay around and relax. On Tuesday, I left to go to Benton to stay with Ashley. Janice kept Kayden for me during that week. I missed my little girl so much but I knew she was in good hands. Her Grandmama and Aunt Mary love to spoil her. She enjoys as you can imagine.Ashley's wedding was on Saturday so I helped her do a few things before the weekend. She has two cats, Charlie and Lola, who are like her children and they are crazy. We had a good time visiting before all the festivities started. Oh yeah, Ashley is one of my roomies from college. There are four of us and we all try to get together once a year. We always have so much fun and laugh until we hurt. Lots of eating and pictures going on.Ok, so Thursday Angela and Tiffany drove down from Illinois. We met at Cozymels for dinner with Ashley's nieces, Lauren and Meagan. Cozy's has been our favorite place to eat since we were at HU. Tiffany says the salsa is like crack cocaine to her...she was so hilarious about the salsa. We took a huge bag of chips and salsa back to the hotel with us too.Ashley and Dan are friends with a manager at the Peabody Hotel so he gave Ashley the hook up for us. We stayed in a 2 story suite with full kitchen, dinning and it could sleep all of us.It was so awesome. We had valet parking and everything. Friday morning, we had a brunch for Ashley at the Peabody. The staff there were so nice and helpful. We had a breakfast brunch and it was such good food. Then we headed to the room for relaxing and chatting. We just sat around for a few hours and talked, ate, talked, ate, took pictures, and ate some more. I can't remember how many times I would say, I have to stop eating! That was right before I threw a handful of M&M's in my mouth.Ashley's wedding was in Hot Springs at a Chapel at Garvan Gardens. It is such a beautiful place. All the girls piled in Brandie's car and headed there. The rehearsal went well and then it was time to eat, again. One of Ashley's friends catered the dinner and she did a great job.After dinner, it was back to the hotel for a little fun. We had a little lingerie party for Ashley and had much fun with that.Ang, Tiffany and I stayed up a little while longer than everyone else. Ashley went to bed so she could be prepared for the big day. I love all these girls so much. We always have so much fun when we are together. A lot of it is at Angela's expense, but she is so fun to pick on it is too hard to resist. Ang, you know we love you girl!Sat. morning it was up and at em early for hair and makeup. The girl that did ours did such a good job. I loved my hair. All the bridesmaids had the same up do and I thought it looked very good. We metup with Ashley and then it was off to the wedding. We were able to get ready in a little cabin at Garvan Gardens together. You may wonder why there aren't any wedding pics on my blog...my camera battery died right before we got dressed. Special, huh?You can check out Angela or Tiffany's blogs for pics though.Our dresses were Chocolate A'line with a deep V in the front. Very pretty. Ashley looked gorgeous. We took pictures before the wedding and Garvan Gardens is such a great place for pictures. Amy Bell was the photographer and she did a great job. The wedding went off great, and then it was time to have some fun at the reception. It was under a pavillion there and there was so much food and drinks and flowers and a DJ! I think we made major fools of ourselves, but it was so much fun. We danced just about the entire time. We would look up and try to find Ashley and she would be mingling with guests and Dan was out on the dance floor with us. So, so, so much fun.After Ashley and Dan left it was time to get busy cleaning. It didn't take long so then we left for our hotel. We stopped by chick fil a on the way back and got the strangest looks. We were still in our dresses, so you can imagine why.Angela, Tiffany and I stayed inthe hotel Saturday night too. Terri came back with us for a little while and then she went home. Tiffany and I stayed up again, and talked. It is so much fun to get to visit with her. We were roommates for 3 years and I can remember countless night staying up talking about whatever. I miss her a lot and cherish all the times we get to be together and reminisce (sp?).Sunday morning we packed up and headed home...well, they headed home and I headed to Searcy to Terri's house. I met her at church and then we met Janice in Wynn to pick up Kayden.More about that week below!

On Sunday, Terri and I drove to pick up Kayden. I was so ready to see her. This was the longest I have been away from her. She was so excited to see us. She kept hugging me and kissing me. I just love my little girl. She is so big and smart. I will blog more about her later this week. She will be 2! I will save all that for later. We didn't have a lot planned that week, so we went to the park, went to Terri's office, ate lunch out, went to a few volleyball games and got to see some old friends. Kayden loved the volleyball game. One of the girls gave her a small volleyball and she kept saying, "They came to me!" Kayden and I also attended the play, Wizard of Oz. It was really good and Kayden actually liked it. Until she fell asleep of course. We were able to eat lunch with my friend Jamie and her daughter Murphy. In Searcy, they have a coffee shop call the Underground and they have a great play room for kids. We were able to visit without a lot of interruption. Jamie is expecting a baby girl in Jan. We are so excited for them and can't wait to meet Mia.Wednesday was Halloween and Kayden was Snow White. They had trick or treating around the square and she got plenty of candy. She also rode a little train. She wanted to ride so bad and then once she got on, she changed her mind. I made her ride anyway. She wasn't traumatized, don't worry. She was just fine. We went to a few friends house and trick or treated before church. After church we at Wendy's then went home. Kayden was tired, and I was getting there too. A photographer took Kayden's picture and she and Terri were in the Searcy paper. I haven't seen it yet, just heard about it. Thursday was a huge day for me. I was able to meet with Shannon, who gave birth to Olivia in Sept. Olivia had the same defect that Janey did. I had been in contact with Shannon and was so glad we were going to be able to meet. She is such a strong woman and we sat and shared stories, pictures, laughs and tears for a few hours. She has a son, Beckam, and so he and Kayden played together. Well, sort of, I think they did there own thing most of the time. It was so amazing to see her pictures because it just seemed like our experience was so similar. Shannon has a great spirit and I think we will be friends forever. I hate it that this is what made us friends, but I am glad that I have another woman in my life to share these things with that knows exactly what I am feeling. Her mom and Terri met us for lunch and we all had a great time visiting.My cousin, Kristin, came in town for Homecoming so we were able to spend some time with her too. We shopped a little after Terri got off work and then we all went to Mark and Allison's for pizza. They have the neatest house and we had a good time of sitting around and talking. (I did a lot of sitting around and chatting over the past two weeks if you couldn't tell.)Friday, I met Janice and John in Wynn. He flew in to Memphis and spent a few days with his family. I was so glad he came to AR. I missed him so much. Kayden did too. And poor John, he found out once he got to TN that he had shingles. He has been inpain for 2 weeks practically and didn't go to the doctor and his mom told him he had shingles. He is getting better now. We are just praying that neither Kayden nor I get chicken pox. (that is what would be contagious to us)Kristin, Kayden and I went to N. Little Rock and shopped for a little while. We went to another volleyball game at HU. We got to see old friends and it was so good to be back at Harding. Saturday morning we went to a baby shower for Amanda Thornton and Gracen. She is five weeks old now and I am so glad we got to see them. Chad and Lindsey came up early too and we ate lunch with them and then took the kids to the front lawn for a photo shoot. Our kids are so cute and really like each other and we always have a good time together. My favorite picture is of Shep and Kayden peeking around the tree. The girls had on HU cheerleader outfits. They were adorable. The game was great and we got to see more friends. Harding won, so it was a successful day. That night we had a b-day party for Kayden at Terri's house. Kristin, Mark, Allison, Jeffrey and Amanda came over too. Kristin made some yummy soup and we had cookie cake for dessert. Terri got Kayden a vacuum which she loves. Kristin got her a washing machine that actually spins and makes noise. So cute. We bought Mary Poppins so we could have something other than Dora and Einsteins for the ride home. She had a great time and then once everyone left, we all settled down for some Mary Poppins. I love that movie. John and i were surprised how many songs we remembered.We left after early service and stopped in Millington and had lunch with Janice, Tommy, Jennifer and Skyler. We decided to just drive on home and I am glad we did. We were all ready to get to our own beds. John was on meds for the shingles so I drove home. It wasn't too bad though.We have had a great "vacation". Thanks to everyone who lent us a bed,fed us, drove us around, met us for lunch/dinner or just visited with us.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Yesterday, I was able to have a day of pampering for myself. I began with a large sweet tea from Chick fil a. That always makes me day a little better. Thanks to Tessa, Summer, Ashley, Angela and Tiffany...I began by having an Aromatherapy massage at 10:00 am. That lady massaged my face, my ears, my hair, my fingers and my toes! It was so awesome and relaxing.Then, I went to another spa and had a manicure and pedicure. Instead of just regular mani. I got acrylic. I haven't done that in 5 years since my wedding. It is nice to have something different. They look really good but it takes getting use to. (You may ask why I thanked the girls at the beginning, but they all gave me gift certificates to the spas. Don't I have wonderful friends?)

I met my friend Nikki and her daughter Lindsey for lunch. We had a good chat and then it was off for some shopping! Thanks to my mother in law, Janice, I had a gift card to TJ Maxx. I love that place. You have to dig, but I always find stuff. I bought a new dress and shirt there. I was there for about an hour and a half trying things on.

I went to a few other places and bought a few more things. Nothing big, but it was nice to have a day to myself to do whatever. I went to see Lindsi and her nursery for baby Anna. She is due on the 5th of Nov. I am sure she will be early, of course while I am out of town! :(

I had a meeting and then I went to Wal Mart. After a short shopping spree there, I headed home. And, I was greeted by John and Kayden. I love coming home to them. They are so special and wonderful!

I had a great day! This couldn't have been possible without my wonderful babysitters...Granny and Momma. They are so willing to help me anytime. And of course John...he had to give Kayden and bath, but they had some good quality father/daughter time. Thanks everyone for your help and support.

I leave tomorrow for TN/AR. Kayden and I will brave the road alone! I am excited about seeing family and friends. I will have a lot to post when I get home in two weeks.

BTW, thanks for all the sweet comments on the previous post. You are all very important to me and I appreciate your support and love!

Monday, October 15, 2007

To the right I have posted a link to a very neat website. It is solely dedicated to those who have lost babies during pregnancy or while infants. I stumbled across it tonight while I was blog hopping. It was so ironic that I found it today, which is the actual day of Remembrance. My heart actually jumped a little when I read about this day. I know there are other moms out there who feel my pain and sorrow over our little babies. Although we won't communicate, I know I share a bond with so many other women who are in my shoes. There were some interesting stats on miscarriage and infant loss. Anyway, maybe you know someone who might benefit from this website so I encourage you to pass it on. I looked at Janey's pictures tonight and it is so bittersweet to go through them. I am so happy for the time we had together and holding her meant more than I will ever begin to describe. But on the other hand, I wish she was here so bad. I wish I had her here to show off and make memories with. Sometimes I still can't believe that I lost my little girl. I have felt so sorry for other women so many times because they have lost something so precious. And now, that woman is me. It is hard to explain how my mind works and has to deal with losing Janey. When I hear of friends getting pregnant or having babies it is a joy to hear. And I celebrate with these friends. I also think to myself, why wasn't I one to be celebrating. I know there was nothing I did, but the question always lingers in the back of my mind...why me? I am sure there is a reason and it may not be clear just right now. I go through everyday thinking...what would she look like, how would she act, would she love to watch Kayden play, would she sleep well, what color eyes would she have, would she have curly hair? One day I will get all these questions answered and for now I will dream. I think about her up in Heaven about the age of a 3 year old with curly brown hair. I know she is having such a good time and she is 100% complete. I think about the others in heaven up there with her watching out for her. I think she has some fun playmates...Clara, Parker, Olivia...just to name a few.Sometimes knowing that such wonderful people are there makes it a little more bareable. I will always miss her and wish she were here.Today though, I will remember her short time with me and how much love she brought to our family.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

This weekend has been busy, but lots of fun. I couldn't get the pictures on this post again, so they are below. Anyway, there are some pictures from my beach trip. I am just now getting a chance to post them. Again, it was such a nice weekend to just relax and have great time with the girls.

On to this weekend...I took Kayden and Lindsey to the park on Thursday. It finally starting feeling good outside so I thought it would be perfect. They took turns on the slide about a million times. They play so good together and it is great that me and Nikki are so close. I hope our daughters continue to be best friends. Friday night we just hung out at the house. Every now and then, I would rather be here doing nothing with my hubby and daughter than anywhere else. On Saturday we went to a birthday party for Alex. She turned one! Kayden had so much fun playing with balloons. Not to mention all the cool toys Alex got. Kayden got a bit nosey and went peeking through the gifts. She wanted to take some of them home...I worked at the store for a little while and then John and I had to get ready for our costume party. I am in the women's club in town and we had our Boo Bash last night at the Country Club. We dressed up as a 20's ganster and a flapper. I thought our costumes were pretty good. Most everyone else was dressed up and there were some really good costumes and some interesting ones to say the least! We had a good time though. Today, after church we all 3 took a nap. I think we could have slept 2 more hours, but then we wouldn't have tonight.It has been a crazy but fun weekend. This week will be even busier, and then Kayden and I will be out of town for 2 weeks. I am so excited! My college roommate is getting married and homecoming is on the 4th. It will be so fun to see friends and family we haven't seen in a while. I will post again before I leave.Enough for now, it is bedtime

I love my Man. He knows me so well and knows when to make me laugh and when to let me cry. He can cheer me up by walking in the room and dancing like Carlton on Fresh Prince. He supports me and our family and is so great with our daughter. I love him and I love God for sending him to me.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

We had a great time at the beach this past weekend. I will have to post pictures next week. Camera is out of order :) I went with two other friends and we left on Friday about 3:00 pm. We went to Tallahasee and shopped for a while. We ate at Carrabas for dinner. It was sooo good and we were so hungry by then. The condo was still about 2 hours to go, but we had many laughs along the way. We got behind a really slow car with a mattress on top and Nikki, who was driving, hollered out the window to get out of the way. Once we could pass them we realized his window was down!!!! I am sure he heard us. Saturday, we slept in (until 8:00). That is a rarity these days. Mary Catherine and I were out on the beach by 9:00 and Nikki joined us about 10:00. For some reason there were flies everywhere. And they bit us! After about 2 hours we couldn't stand it anymore. The condo was right on the beach, so we just sat on the porch and layed out the rest of the day. It was so relaxing! I read an entire book!!!!!!!The weather was wonderful. We went in and got ready for dinner and ate at a place on the beach called Toucans. It was very good and neat atmosphere. We rented a movie and then crashed.Sunday, after church we ate lunch on the porch and sat around and chatted until about 3:00. I got plenty of sun, rest and laughs.

One of the reasons for this trip was so I could have a little vacation and girl time after Janey. We have been planning this for months. It's hard to believe it is already October. Time is flying by. This weekend was very emotional for me too. I thought about Janey a lot. I miss her and Kayden will say or do something that will make me really wish Janey was here.

I will be able to post pictures next week from the beach. Until then...have a good week.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Last week Grandmama (john's mom) came to visit. Kayden loves her Grandmama and was very excited to see her. John and I like to see her too! I worked Thur. and Fri. so she had Kayden all to herself. She is one of those Grandma's that is on the floor playing and doing whatever Kayden told her to. She is that way with all of her grandkids. Since we don't see her often, she really spoils all of us when she is here. She cooked so much, we had to freeze a bunch. I think John and I gained 10 lbs while she was here. She flew home on Tuesday. We were sad to see her go, but we will see her in a month! I am leaving for the beach, tomorrow! I can't wait!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

1. I love Jesus2. I love my family3. My husband is my best friend4. He makes me laugh daily!5. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love my children6. I am very close to my parents and tell them just about everything7. My parents and grandparents are my heroes8. I am very organized...almost OCD about it9. I love to organize closets, drawers, rooms, anything I can get my hands on10. I love the smell of coffee almost more than the taste11. I love to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch or dinner12. I love my bed, it is SO comfortable13. When I am really mad, I cry14. When I am really stressed, I cry15. I make lists for everything...groceries, things to pack, to buy, to do, etc.16. I have had two boxers (dogs) in the past 4 years17. I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law18. I despise exercise19. I love to clean20. My least favorite chore is dusting21. My college roomies and I are still very good friends22. My high school friends and I are still good friends too23. My first vehicle that was only mine was a pick up truck24. I played basketball and softball in high school25. I was also a bat girl for the baseball team26. I graduated with a class of 1527. I spent every summer in Montana with my family on my Papa's ranch, middle-high school28. My first kiss was at 14 years old29. I love the beach30. I am going there next weekend31. I am terrified of lizards32. When I was at home, I made my sister sleep in the same bed with me...until I was a junior in High School33. My favorite color is pink34. I don't read my Bible as often as I should35. I am seen the power of prayer first hand36. My friend Lindsey is my hero when it comes to being a prayer warrior37. I love Kayden kisses38. My favorite flowers are roses39. I have worked at Target40. My hair is naturally curly...I just usually straighten it41. A sonic diet coke always makes my day better42. I am addicted to Chick fil a sweet tea43. Chick fil a is my favorite fast food rest.44. When I was pregnant (both times) I craved cheese fries with ranch dressing45. I love to take pictures46. I wish I had a really nice camera to do it though47. I would love to take a photography class48. I was named after my great grandma49. I love to shop50. My favorite season is the spring51. But, I always love it when each new season comes around52. I can snow and water ski (although, not well)53. I broke 4 fingers when I was in 4th grade54. I use sarcasm alot55. John and I pick at each other alot56. I still hold my moms hand in public57. I am physically strong58. I love to go to church and to sing songs59. Especially the "old school" hymnals60. On a scale of 1-10, my pain tolerance is about a 361. I love to wear flip flops62. I loved traveling as a child63. I do now, just dont get to do it that often64. I have been to 40 something states65. The farthest I have been from home is Hawaii66. I was very bossy as a child67. Kayden is following in her mommy's footsteps68. Opening a can of biscuits terrifies me69. I don't go into dark rooms by myself70. I really didn't like Terri until later in high school, maybe even college71. My mom made her go with me and my friends a lot72. Now, I wish I could see her everyday73. She is also my best friend74. We talk multiple times a day on the phone75. I believe in spanking my children76. I like to eat banana and mayo sandwiches77. Forgetfulness is a huge annoyance to me78. I married one of them79. I love him anyway80. I can eat a whole bag of twizzlers by myself81. I like to read decorating magazines82. I wish I had that talent83. My favorite article of clothing is my jeans84. I love the movie, Dumb and Dumber85. One of my favorite things to watch with John is Ultimate Fighting86. I love to see the guys get knocked out in the first round87. I am running out of things to say88. That is not normal for me89. I have had 2 c-sections90. I want at least 2 more children91. I am a chevy girl92. I was in the hospital in 8th grade93. I almost died94. I like to watch football if someone I know is playing95. I loved college96. I took 2 hour naps everyday97. Romance movies are my favorite98. I like action too99. I actually made a list before I did this100. I am glad you are reading my blog

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Well, since it has been so long since I have blogged, there is a lot to post, but I will keep it brief. The pictures are just Kayden around the house. She does so well playing by herself. She loves babies, strollers, shoes and purses! She tells me she is going to Mal-Mart.

Lets see, where to start...Kayden is doing pretty good with potty training. Some days are really good, others I feel like a failure at it. She is learning though and I know she understands, so now I just have to drill that concept in her brain. :) Kayden has entered the land of no naps...it has been a huge change for all of us. She wasn't sleeping well at night and one night was up from 2 until 7. I thought I was going to cry, no, actually, I did cry. She just acted like she wasn't tired. At that point she was taking about 1-2 hour naps. My parents said when I turned two I didn't take naps, I just need that much sleep. So, we have not been putting her down for naps. If we are in the car though, she is out like a light. I haven't been letting her sleep long though. If we get her in bed by 10:00 we are doing good. And then she sleeps until 7 or 8. So, I guess we have just hit that point. It is sad, but she does so well playing and keeping herself busy, I am still able to get things done. She really is a good girl. Last week I had a yard sale. My Aunt Cindy and Granny came down to help. I did really good. I love doing things like that. I know most people hate getting a yard sale together. I love it! I love getting things organized. Anyway, I got rid of a lot of stuff. It was just clutter around here. I am going to buy clothes when I get skinny! My house is really coming together. I have been working alot on the inside...just organizing rooms, unpacking boxes, decorating, etc. It is so much fun. I am not good at placing things, so my friend Nikki has been helping me. She is so good at that. We are working on mantel arrangements now. They are going to look so good. I will post pictures when I get most done. I also made a wreath for my front door. I saw one like it at Hobby Lobby and made mine for cheaper. I will put it up when we get done painting.I have started painting shutters, too. You know they were pink, now they are green. Hard color to explain...I will post pictures later. I have a second coat and then they will be done. I am not a very good painter, so Patience's husband, Brad is going to paint my doors. I have such wonderful friends, by the way.I love my house. It is just so cozy and warm. Now if I could just get John to put in a pool, I would be set.

That is all that has been going on with us. Now, I will go on to more serious stuff. Please check out Kelly's blog. Her son Max is having some problems, so please keep them in your prayers. Also, another girl I have been in contact with had a little girl last Thursday that was born with Anencephaly. The moms name is Shannon, so please keep them in your prayers. I have received one email from her and I think she is doing as good as can be expected. The other girl I have mentioned, Jill, still needs your prayers. She isn't due until Dec. so she has a ways to go still. I have never met these girls in person, but I feel so connected to them already. We all have such a bond and it will be comforting to share our stories. Our family is doing well also. Janey would be a month old. It is hard to believe that. I think a lot about what she would be doing at this point. I miss her a lot. Some days I think about her nonstop. I have been to the cemetery a few times and it is harder than I expected. I feel closest to her there and I can just talk to her and let her know I miss her. If she acts like John and has his personality, Heaven is laughing it up. Ok, I have rambled enough. I need to get painting! Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I am finally back from being without a computer. Ours is older and I thought it had crashed. Luckily, my good friend Matt was able to figure out the problems and help it live a little longer. Thanks so much Matt! I was so out of the blogger, email, internet loop! I have a lot to blog about, so I will do that and post pictures tonight after dinner. Can't wait...

Monday, September 03, 2007

We have had a nice, relaxing weekend. We celebrated my Dad's birthday Friday night and went to eat with more family. Saturday, we brought over the rest of our stuff from our old house. We worked all morning and were wore out! I, of course over did it, and was in the bed all Sunday. I have learned my lesson and have been taking it easy since then. Saturday night we went to the Warren's with the Lawson's for the first GA game. The guys watched the game and the girls talked and the kids played. We love these two families and they have been such great friends to us. Nikki, Patience and I grew up together and I am so blessed to have these two girls as my best friends. This morning, I met Patience and Nikki at Cracker Barrel and we ate breakfast. It was nice to visit with just the 3 of us.We haven't done much today. Just relaxed around the house. But that is really nice to do now a days.Kayden is doing really good with the potty training. She is getting better at telling us andholding it. We are so proud of her.She is such a sweetheart too. She is saying, Ma'am and Sir now, and please and Thank you. It is so cute. I love this age. We have a lot of fun when we play and she is really into baby dolls and playing with her stroller. Kind of bossy though. At naptime I can hear her telling her babies, "NO, NO BABY!" (She gets the bossiness from her Daddy ;)That is about all that is going on with us. We started a memory garden for Janey at my parents house. My aunts gave us a tree, and so we are going to get more flowers to go with it. I will post pictures when we get it all done.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about Janey. I miss her and will think about what we would be doing if she was here. It makes me sad sometimes. Luckily, I have Kayden to keep my mind from wondering too much.I hope everyone had a good holiday. HEre are some pictures from the game night. Oh yeah, Go Dawgs!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

I have put together a slideshow of some of my favorite pictures. These represent the memories we have of Janey that will last forever. I want to share them with you because I want you to know how such a tiny little girl can have such a huge impact on our lives. I hope you enjoy. If you are just tunning in, see the story on the previous post to understand.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

It has been over two weeks since my baby Janey was born. It is hard to believe sometimes. I have been planning for almost two weeks what I wanted to write on here. I know there are those who weren't able to be here for her birth so I feel like they might want to know some of the special things that happened during that short time. And this is also for me to record my feelings and share them. My first disclaimer is this...Janey was not born a healthy, physically complete baby girl. If you don't know what a baby with Anencephaly looks like, she will look different. Beautiful, but different. I was prepared and had no surprises. Second disclaimer...you might cry reading some of this. I will too, so we will be in this together.And lastly...I am doing really good. Acutally, better than I expected to be doing at this point. If you wonder why, this is what I feel...I have had 4 months to get ready for that day. I started grieving and mourning for Janey on April 19th. The past 4 months have been such an emotional rollercoaster. Now, I can say, I feel at peace. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I just cry, alot! But most of my days so far have been filled with family and friends and John and Kayden. They are my lifeline, and what keeps me going each day.Ooops, one more, this will be very long!With all that said, here is Janey's story...

On Wednesday, Aug. 8th, we went to church like normal. I started feeling some contractions about 4, but chalked it up to nothing. We ate at church and they started getting more intense. I was upset and really didn't know if it was labor or not. So, me being the person that I am had to be convinced by 4 others to go and just let the hospital tell me if I was in labor. I felt silly, and was reassured that everyone has done it at some point.So, John and I headed off to the hospital. After being admitted, they had to call for me a wheelchair. I mean honestly, I walked my happy tail in there, I can make it to the elevator. But, whatever! I was weighed (never fun), and put into a room and hooked up to the monitors. Well, they tried to hook me up. I had so much amniotic fluid, it was hard for them to track Janey's heartrate. It was there, no denying it. She would push out on my tummy and it looked like the movie aliens. They nurses were even impressed. I felt like I should be in a carnival.My contractions continued and they gave me medicine for the pain...It was wonderful! I just drifted off into my happy place and went to sleep. Poor John, tried to sleep on a wooden bench the size of a toilet. I was not in labor, no dialating, but still contractions. They kept me overnight and in the morning they planned to let me go home. My doctor, who I love so much, checked me and was sending me home. I was glad and disappointed. I was so ready for Janey to be here and also ready to be not uncomfortable. After she left they started up again, and after much discussion, she told us it was our decision what we wanted to do then. I was 34 weeks, so she could deliver Janey. There was no telling when I might go into labor. Could be an hour, could be 5 days! I prayed the week before that God would relieve me of the pain, in everyway. So, with God's guidance, we chose to go ahead. Then Dr. said, we need to do it now, there is an opening in the O.R. So, we immediately got on our phones and started calling. All the while, I was being prepared for surgery. When I say prepped, I mean stripped naked, Catheterized (sorry, too much info. there) and some other details I will leave out. In 15 min, I was in the OR. I was given a spinal (hallelujah!!!!) and John was brought in. We held hands and cried, or at least I did. Once I was numb, and I mean good and numb, they started with Janey's delivery. I was very nervous and so glad John was there. I felt them drain all the fluid and felt like they had taken out about 100 lbs. I tried to get them to suck some fat from my hips and butt, but they said they couldn't. Party-poopers!They brought Janey out and covered her in a blanket. She had a heartbeat, but never took a breath. Her eyes were wide and open. She weighed 2 lbs 15 oz. she was beautiful! One of my good friends was the head nurse and so while i was being stitched up Trenda took Janey to be cleaned up and dressed. A local group of ladies makes dresses and blankets for babies there and they dressed her in a beautiful smocked pink dress with a croched hat and booties. She was so pretty. Her skin color was really pretty and she just layed there and looked at us. John and I had a few minutes with her and my uncle who takes pictures was there to take some of us. Then we brought kayden in and she held Janey too. She liked to pat her, and touch her hands. She wasn't scared at all and we have some sweet pictures of them. After we had some family time, my parents, granny, aunts and uncles came in. Everyone enjoyed being with Janey and holding her. We had a few friends at the hospital also, and they were allowed to come in for a short time. About 10:15 am on August 9th, Janey went to be with God. We were so blessed to be able to spend that short but wonderful time with her. We were allowed to keep her in the room with us all day. After I was taken to a room, I was loaded with pain medicine which knocked me out for a while. John went to rest and shower and my mom stayed with me. Janey laid in my arms most of the time I slept. We had more visitors through the day and they too were able to hold her. We waited until my sister and John's parents arrived that night before we let the nursery take her from the room. Everyone left about 9:30 and John and I spent time with Janey and in prayer. We asked the nurse to come get her and they informed the funeral home.It was hard to let her go, but like I said before, this was a huge relief to me. You may ask, how I could feel that way about my daughter, so this is how...Janey is not going to live as a vegetable, or in pain. I believe with all my heart she is pure and whole and a normal little girl running around up there with the angels. I know God is taking care of her. She will never know pain, evil, suffering or this crazy world we live in today. I will see her one day again, and I have something extra to strive for on my path to heaven. I miss my little girl, and I know times willl be hard. But, I have comfort in knowing, that she is ok now. I never prepared to bring her home and always knew that she was going to see her Heavenly Father. I went home on Sat. morning. It was very bittersweet to leave. I was happy to go home, but very sad that I wasn't leaving with my baby girl. It was a hard day, but I got through it.John is such a good husband and father and had a lot of the funeral details taken care of for me. He has been so strong and supportive, I know God put such a strong man in my life for that specific reason.Thanks to our parents and brothers and sisters, Kayden was taken care of a spoiled a little! On Monday, we had Janey's service. We had a viewing at the funeral home for family only. John had picked out a dress for her a long time ago and she was buried in that. It was peach with a bonnet. We went in first and spent a few minutes. She lookes so peaceful and quiet. It actually helped me to see her then. I knew she was fine and I would be too.Most of our family saw her too. We had a graveside service only. Janey was buried beside my Granny's parents. Just two more angels looking out for her. There were beautiful flowers surrounding her. So many people came to support us and we will never be able to thank all of them. The service was very short, but very memorable. When the car arrived carrying Janey, John got up from his seat and went to the car. He carried her casket back and placed her on the pedestal. I don't think there will ever be a more sweet picture in my mind of John. I know it was hard for him, but he wanted to do it. The preacher talked to about David when he lost his son and the verse in the Bible that was the center of his talk was where David says, His son would not return, but David would go to him. And that is the way we feel. Our grieving will continue for a while, but we know we have the assurance of an eternal home with God and Janey.Our church prepared a huge meal for everyone after the service. It was so great. The tables were lined with pink roses and there was enough food to feed an army. We were able to spend some time with family and friends before most people left town. I will never forget that day and all the love we felt surrounding us. My sister stayed with us for the next week and it was great to have her at the house with me all day. She was such a big help with Kayden and I miss her being there. I can't thank everyone personally because there is not enough room on the internet. We have been blessed by so many family members and friends to help us out in so many ways. I love my family. I have the best in the world. We have received cards, phone calls, visits, flowers, plants, food, money and all the support you can imagine. Thank you to everyone who had even a small part in helping us through this tough time.

Each day is a new day for us. I don't ever know how it will go, but I know that I can always sit down and pray and have a good cry and God will grant me the strenth that I need. I HAVE to be ok. I have a husband and a daughter who count on me everyday! I bought a picture yesterday, and it sums up my feelings for Janey.This is what it said...A mother holds her childs hand for a short time, but their heart forever.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Well, I have entered into a land where I have no idea what I'm doing. We began Kayden's potty training today. It's about time for her since she tells us when to change her. It is also a good thing to keep me busy. The success was as follows today: 2 pee-pees in the potty, 1 poo-poo in the potty, and 4 wet accidents. The accidents aren't that bad since she's wearing rubber pants over her big girl panties.

Overall, today was a success because she told me she loved me tonight, even after making her sit on the toilet every 30 minutes today for sometimes 10 minutes at a time. Melissa got her staples out today and is doing very well. Physically she is leaps and bounds past she was with Kayden. She has already been ordering me around :) . She has also been in good spirits. It seems a little easier to me after the service on Monday. We got to see Janey before the funeral and she looked so peaceful. It was so good to see her again and Melissa and I agreed that she really looked good. There were quite a few people at the service and at the meal afterward. It was encouraging to see Melissa and John and their strength.

We've had so much food and help around the house. Everyone from church and the schools and family has helped take care of so much.

Melissa and I were laying on her bed tonight with Kayden before she went to bed and Kayden got to laughing which made us laugh until we hurt. I got it on video but I can't upload it here so it will have to be after I get back to Arkansas. Sorry I don't have any more pictures. Hopefully I will be able to add some later this week. Keep praying.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Today has been pretty good for all of us I think. It was nice to see everyone at church. This afternoon, Melissa went and found a dress for tomorrow and I took a nap with Kayden. I sang her to sleep, although for some reason she was crying until I stopped singing ... Interesting. Most of the family ate at Melissa's for lunch and dinner. It is storming right now outside. I don't have much to update but I wanted to post anyway. I will post more tomorrow or Tuesday. oh yeah, the pottytraining of the Kayden will begin Tuesday morning. Pray for us.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Melissa went home today. I put some pictures on my blog. It's the Terri link on the right. Thanks for the prayers --keep them coming. I was right. Everyone is invited to the meal afterwards on Monday. John's brother, sister, and their spouses got here today. There will be more traveling in tomorrow and monday. Please pray for all of their travels to be safe.

It's hard to write much that means anything. So many people have been kind to my family and it is deeply appreciated.

Kayden is really loving all of the attention. It's hard NOT to pay attention to a kid that cute, and smart, and gifted, and just plain wonderful.

Thanks for checking this...I know Melissa will be able to check her comments in a few days or so (when she is ready) but truthfully I am selfish and it has helped me to read all of your comments every morning and evening so thanks.

There will be a graveside service for Janey on Monday at 11:00 a.m. at the Copeland Cemetery. A meal will follow at Airport (I think). Carson McLane is doing the funeral.

Thanks for all of your prayers and well wishes. Melissa will hopefully come home today. She is doing really well and is inspiring to all of us. Keep praying. I'm heading up to the hospital right now to hang out with Melis.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Melissa went to the hospital last night because she was in pain. It turns out she was dehydrated so they kept her overnight. This morning the pain came back and was just too much for her to go home so they delivered Janey this morning by c-section at 9:15 a.m. She weighed 2 lbs. 15 oz. even though she felt a lot heavier than that. Most of her weight was in her feet (that she got from John). She lived an hour while John and Melissa got to spend time with her. Melissa was on the least amount of pain meds so she wasn't in a fog during those first moments with Janey. Only later did she let them knock her out. John came out and got Kayden to hold her baby sister and then the whole family was allowed to hold her and eventually, friends were let in too. Melissa was in really good spirits. I got here about 8:00 this evening and held Janey for a good part of an hour at least. John's parents made it here just after 9:00 and got to hold Janey too. We took plenty of pictures but I have no way to upload them right now. Janey had a bonnet on the whole time and although she looked like she has anencephaly, she was beautiful! Her skin was really soft and was nice and pink for a while. She didn't ever cry but her heart beat like every baby's does.

John was spending the night at the hospital with Melissa tonight and Kayden was going to stay with Grandmomma and PawPaw (John's parents) at the base tonight. Melissa should be able to go home on saturday.

The funeral will be on Monday (graveside) at the Copeland Cemetery. We don't know the specifics yet. Carson-McLane is doing the funeral.

Please keep all of us in your prayers. Thanks.-Terri (Melissa's sister)

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I finally got the chance to take some pictures of our new house. Keep in mind, we have a lot to get unpacked and put up. It is a work in progress, but I figured I would need something to keep me occupied after this month.The outside was not our favorite. It has cedar siding, and pink doors and shutters. I am a pink lover, but NOT on my house. That will be pained a green color as soon as I buy the paint!I love the inside. It is so comfy and it is just what we need. I tell John everynight, I love my house. Hope you enjoy!

Monday, August 06, 2007

I know, it has been forever. We finally got our phone line working, so now I can get on the internet. I was going crazy! I plan on uploading my pics tomorrow, so I will have a very long post then. So, stay tuned. I know some of you (Terri) are chomping at the bit for me to post pics, so I will do it as soon as I can tomorrow. BTW, I am getting larger everyday. I don't mean just gaining weight because I am pregnant, I mean I think my fluid increases daily. I don't go to the doctor until next week, and I am afraid of how big I might be. I am super uncomfortable and I have switched vehicles with my mom because it hurts to get in and out of my car and she has a tahoe. Janey is swimming in a ton of water!Ok, I will blog more tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I know, I know, I am way overdue for a post. Lots of things happening, so I am going to give brief descriptions and you will see why.I will start with most recent....(there is a lot to cover, so go get a Diet Coke and settle in)I had my 32 week ultrasound today ( I am 33 weeks to be precise) It went well and we actually got some good pictures of Janey's feet and face. Since I have been back in town I have been complaining about how big my belly is. I could tell in the past 2 weeks it has grown alot. Well, found out today there is a reason. I have ALOT of amniotic fluid. My doctor said it is not uncommon with this type of pregnancy and it could cause pre term labor or my water breaking. The normal range is 8-22, I measured at 38!!!!!! The c-section is still set for Aug. 29th, so we will just have to wait and see what Janey thinks! :)

My parents, Kayden and I got back from our trip on Wed. We had a great time. We spent time with John's family in TN, got to stay at Aunt Terri's for a few days and then we made the trek to Indiana to see my Dad's family. It was a long 10 days, but we really did have a good time. It was a nice break for me and I was happy to see some friends and family that I hadn't seen in a while. I told you this would be quick, and no pictures. Sorry, this is why...

About a month ago, John and I found a house we really liked. We were pretty far into the buying process and something didn't go through on our end so we could buy it. I was disappointed, but knew there was nothing we could do about it. After all this is when I decided I needed to get out of town and relax. I worry ALOT! And that worries my family. It is annoying I am sure, so anything to give my brain a rest, is much needed. Wed. evening we got back to town and my Dad didn't go the usual way to our house. We went by the grocery store and then my dad turned down a different road. I said, Where are we going? And he said, I am taking you home. My husband is a sneaky thing and bought the house while I was gone. Yes, I know, crazy!!!!!I was very surprised. But along with having a new house (to me) there was another surprise...My friends, Patience and Nikki and my aunts, Cindy and Bonnie and my cousin, Ashley, oh and Brad, another friend had packed up 95% of my old house and unpacked it in my new house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Anyone who has ever been pregnant can appreciate this as much as me. I was crying, my mom was crying and kayden was running down the hall saying, "KK's Room" I have a great husband who really takes care of me. He and Kayden keep me going everyday and I love them both SO much!So, that is why I haven't blogged, I don't have access yet. But, I will have it this week, so I WILL post pictures and more about everything else. Stay tuned....

Saturday, July 14, 2007

A few days ago I was vacuumming and John was getting ready. I was in the living room and Kayden was playing wherever. When I got finished I put the vacuum in the closet, shut the door and went to find Kayden. (We weren't playing hide n seek!) I called for her and she didn't answer. John got out of the shower and I asked if she was in there. He said no, so I started looking harder for her. We both got to looking for her because we couldn't hear her and she wouldn't answer. For a few minutes we hunted through the house. I was starting to panic that she had gotten outside somehow. We looked in bathrooms, underbeds, in cabinets. She was no where. As tears started forming in my eyes, John said, look in the closets, maybe she is hiding from us. He opened the hall closet (where I had just put the vacuum) and she had crawled into her old infant carrier and was just sitting there in the DARK!!!!! I was shaking. She just looked at us and said, Car seat, which she has a facsination for by the way. After John and I got over the initial shock, he got the camera. I think she is going to be a climber...what do you think?

In other news, my parents had planned on taking a trip to see my sister in AR and my grandparents in IN. Kayden was going with them and they would be gone about 10 days. Yes, I know, how in the world was I going to make it. Well, the past two weeks have been difficult for many reasons and lots of stuff was piling up on me. I decided I needed to get away for a while. So, I am going too. I am nervous because I don't want to go into labor without John or my doctors, but we will cross that bridge if was have to. John is very supportive and wants me to get away from everything here for a while too. We are leaving on Monday and will be gone until the next week. I am looking forward to seeing my sister, some friends, and my family in Indiana. I know that although I am dreading the inevitable (sp?), it must happen but maybe for a week or two, I can concentrate on family and friends.My doctor was very supportive and agreed that it might be a good idea for me to get away. I am 30 weeks (wow, it is flying by) so when I get home I will start my check ups every two weeks. On July 31st I will have my last ultrasound. Then it will just be 4 weeks to go until Janey's birthday. I am anxious for her to be here but also very apphrensive. This is a fun post so I am not going to make it a really heavy one. I will have many pictures to post when I get home and many fun stories I am sure. I hope everyone has a good weekend and a good week. Keep praying for us. We can feel all the strength from your prayers. Please don't stop.

Friday, July 13, 2007

This will be a quick update because I know there are a few people wanting this info. I had my check up today. Everything is fine and we set a date for my c-section. I will go in early on August 29th and hopefully will get to be first on the list. I was very anxious about getting this date on the calendar and now I can put it out of my mind for now. I will post more this weekend but just wanted to let everyone know.Thanks

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I have a prayer request that hits really close to home for me. I just talked to a girl named Jill who two weeks ago found out she was carrying a child with anencephaly. I was given her name and number from a lady at church on Sunday and I was very nervous about calling her. What would I say? How would she take me calling? How is she holding up? I tried to get some things in my mind to say to her when I called.As soon as she answered, I knew that we wouldn't have a problem talking. She is very sweet and this is a little of her story...She is 17 weeks, carrying a boy, due in December, has a little boy already. I ask that you keep her and her family in your prayers. It hurts my heart that there is someone else going through what we are at the same time, and my hope is that we can lean on each other and through our faith in God provide each other with support. I couldn't believe some of the things we were both thinking about, wished or said that were exactly something the other had already thought.

I haven't posted a lot about my thoughts and feelings over the past few months, one, because it is too hard, two because I don't know how to put it into words, and three, it is too hard. In church on Sunday, the preacher talked about Job and his trials that he went through. He lost EVERYTHING! It confuses me how he could go on from day to day. I pray that I can have that strength and faith in God.

A passage from Matthew stays marked in mine and John's Bibles. It is Matthew 6:25-34. I think I should read this everyday. Too often I get caught up in my worries about things in my life that I forget it is not up to me. I think I can control things and worry about the insignificant things. I am so blessed to have a heavenly Father who loved me so much he gave up his SON! Church has been really hard for me lately for a few reasons. The songs get to me. Sometimes I can apply every song to us or Janey and it is hard to focus. The other reason is when I think about God giving up his Son willingly, I wonder if I could do the same thing. Janey is going to be with God and I don't have a choice in that. I wish it could be different but I know I will see her again.

I am very blessed and I thank God everyday for the blessings he has given me. I have a wonderful family, husband and daughter. We are healthy, have a home, food to eat, clothes on our back. He has given me a way to go to Heaven and be forgiven of my sins. I have a church family that loves me like I am each of their own. My friends go above and beyond to make sure I am ok.

While you are praying for Jill, please pray for me too. Pray for strength and faith for me. I know so many of you are praying for us daily, and I beg you not to stop. We have a long road ahead, we know that. So, one day at a time is what we do. I know this is kind of new for me to be writing so much about Janey and how I am feeling, but it was on my heart and felt like it was the right time. Next time I will put a disclaimer to warn you! :)

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Yesterday, John and I celebrated our 5th Anniversary. We didn't have much planned so while John's parents watched Kayden, we went out just the two of us. It was nice to get some quiet time and time to just be with each other. We ate dinner, then went to a movie and ended the night out with some yummy Brusters ice cream. John and I are very simple, so this was a good date for us. We had so much fun and if you know John you know how he keeps me laughing.

I asked him what his favorite part about the past 5 years has been and he said when we bought our own house in Cabot. Mine was having Kayden. We have had a great 5 years and our marriage gets stronger every year.

2007 has been a rough and trying time for us but knowing that John is by my side has helped me get through everyday. I love him more and more each day and am truly blessed to have a wonderful husband who works hard so I don't have to.

In the past 5 years this are some of the things we have done...

Gotten married...been to the Bahamas...worked while John was in school...moved to Valdosta...bought a dog (tank)...J-gone into the military...M-worked at Target...lost a bunch of weight...moved to Sherwood...worked at Wal-Mart...bought a car...bought a house in Cabot...went to Hawaii...bought another dog (Kaz)...wrecked my car...bought a truck...started with PRemier jewelry...got pregnant...quit working...had KAYDEN...moved to Valdosta, again...J-worked at Wal-Mart, Valdosta Tech...bought pool business...got pregnant...5 years later.

The picture above was taken at our reception at the Crescent in Valdosta. This is my favorite picture so thought I would share it. (I think John looks about 16 years old.)

About Me

This life has many blessings. I hope to focus on those during this next year. My girls make my heart smile everyday and God gives me hope everyday. This blog is a reflection of our life, I hope you enjoy it.