When you feel unsure if you’re able to Trust yourself (perhaps whatever it is feels too big for a kid), ask Mom or Dad for help.

I often tell them to Trust What Is. SEE What Is, and Trust that; don’t invent stories in your head, fiction that your mind can run away with, none of which is probably true. Trusting What Is speaks to me, but for my older son, I found out yesterday he prefers to Trust his mother??

My older son is no stranger to doctor’s offices. He’s no stranger to hospitals either, for that matter. So around six weeks ago, when he came to me, complaining of pain, I listened carefully, then looked down his long list of -ologists, as he calls them, trying to determine which one to call.

Long story a bit shorter, I started off with the wrong one (his nephrologist), but after a few weeks and several diagnostic tests later, our go-to doctor was able to point us in the direction of the right one, his urologist.

Without going into too many details, let’s just say six weeks is a long time to have this type of pain, considering it shows up every time he urinates. There are times I walk by his bathroom and I can audibly hear him say, “Oww, oww, oww, oww” with every drop.

Talk about feeling helpless as a mother. So we kept testing. Kept searching for an answer.

As I woke up yesterday morning, I knew it was going to be another full day at the hospital. Another day he was going to miss out on his schoolwork, which he cannot stand (easier to do it in class, than make up later he says). That, coupled with the pain, has turned a normally very sweet kid into quite a grouch. (It would me, too!)

We needed some resolution.

As I was setting my intention and heart for the day, what I wanted was for the day to bring some closure in the form of a diagnosis — that way we’d know what we were dealing with and could move on.

I felt very grounded in setting this intention. My gut told me it was not only doable, but very likely. And because I believe in prayer in numbers, before we headed to the hospital, I reached out to some Strong Women Pray-ers and asked for their prayers, already feeling the excitement of delivering good news to them in the afternoon.

They prayed. We arrived. First building: the medical staff poked, prodded. Second building: more poking, more prodding. Five hours later: a diagnosis! YES! That is exactly what I had asked for. Now we can move on. And move on we are….

Tomorrow: a simple, day surgery to correct the issue. No more pain.

The following day: he’ll be a little slow; lots of rest on the couch.

The day after that: basically back to normal.

You can imagine how thrilled I was at the prognosis! How quickly the staff worked to get him scheduled and taken care of.

How grateful I am for all of that… and the prayers.

Goofy face, happy to have some resolution! (still with his hospital ID band on)

After we got home from the hospital and decompressed a bit, he came and sat down next to me. He said as much as he wasn’t looking forward to his private area undergoing any surgery, minor or otherwise, he wasn’t nervous. He said he had been for a split second. Apparently the words, “cut” and “three stitches” got to him, but he said as soon as he looked at the expression on my face, the nervous feeling went away.

“That face. The huge smile. Ohhh. And how calm you were. That’s when I knew it was all going to be all right. You may Trust What Is, but I trust my mother.”

I’d like to tell you that the writer for Trust Life Today would’ve wanted him to say, “I also Trust What Is. I Trust the Journey.” But no. This very grateful mother of a 13-year old boy simply watched the back of his head as he walked away… smiling from ear to ear as I welled up with tears of pure love.

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Click to Share. This might be just the thing a friend needs to read today. Love, Leslie

Here is just one of the MANY reasons I’m thankful this Thanksgiving week!

My son shares why he’s thankful this Thanksgiving:

Just eight weeks ago I got home and my mom said very slowly, “Christian, I’d like to talk to you.” So I sat down and yet again she said slowly, “I have breast cancer.”

When it happened, then four weeks since telling me, she came out of the hospital. And I was scared. More scared than I’d ever be for myself. And as she walked toward us, me, my dad, and my brother, I swear we were all thinking the same thing, My mom is the best person ever.

I think it was amazing she could be so brave, but not just for herself, but for family. And that’s twice as brave. She is the best mom. And this is one of the gagillion wonderful things she’s done for us. I love my mom.”

I recently had the pleasure and honor of spending 48 hours with some of the most incredible women I know. As our weekend theme, we chose “BE”. Be still, be present, be authentic, be real, be you, be.

I facilitated an exercise tailored around Being Real. As a springboard for the activity, I referenced the children’s classic, The Velveteen Rabbit,written by Margery Williams in 1922.

Summary of the Classic:

The Velveteen Rabbit tells the story of a stuffed child’s toy who finds himself looked down on and snubbed by the other toys – brighter, shinier, mechanical toys with bells and whistles the Rabbit felt he could not compete with. Along with all of the fancy toys, there is also a wise Skin Horse in the playroom, loved so much that his fur has been rubbed off over time. He befriends the Rabbit, and with his help, the Rabbit learns that Real is not about the ‘material’ you’re made of, but rather, your relationships with others, and with yourself. He teaches the Rabbit many lessons through their time together. The sense of self that is ‘taught’ by the Skin Horse, and ‘learned’ by the Rabbit is what makes this a truly inspirational story.

Favorite Excerpt From The Velveteen Rabbit

For a feel and flavor of the book, here is a favorite excerpt of mine:

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

~~~~

And with that, our tone is set. Wise and honest Skin Horse, acting as sage to young, unsure and insecure Rabbit, who is eager to learn how to become Real.

The recent activity I experienced with these wonderful women was accompanied by a second book, entitled The Velveteen Principles, A Guide to Becoming Real, written by professor and psychotherapist Toni Raiten-D’Antonio. In this book, the author identifies 12 principles in becoming Real related to our values, goals, loves, and lives.

In discussing each of the 12 principles, sharing our understanding of their meanings and personal examples with each other, something dawned on me. Nowhere do I show up more Real than when I’m with this group of extraordinary women. They see the real me, because I allow them to see the real me. So, why don’t I allow everyone I come in contact with to see the real me? Why do I feel the need to morph and alter a facet(s) of my personality, even if just the teeniest bit, with others? Why, when it feels so good to be me, to be wholly me, do I not do that with everyone?

Show Up, Allow Others to SEE You

While wearing my Queen of Introspection crown, I realized that I have been in the process of becoming Real for years now. And that rather than beating myself up for not being Real 100% of the time, perhaps acknowledging and celebrating that I’m drawing nearer to becoming Real in all circumstances is more appropriate. This blog, for example, is undoubtedly the Real Leslie. And what an ideal venue for me to present to the readers what I want them to see and think about me… yet I don’t. I purposely show up as me. And the biggest Ah-ha in that realization is that the first time I did it, I thought it would be scary, but what actually happened is I felt more energy and more alive than I had before. So I did it again. And with each real post and with each exposure of my vulnerabilities, I have continued to feel more energy and more alive.

I think all this talk of being Real comes back to Trust. As I trust the feelings inside my body, like when I feel more alive after exposing the Real me, I believe that is God’s way of whispering to me. And the more I listen, the more He whispers. By honing my inner listening skills, what I’m essentially doing is honing my intuition, thus, drawing me closer to the Divine, closer to Source. And the feeling inside feels like Pure Love.

So, I stop and ask myself: all this by merely showing up as me? By simply being Real? Yes. If you’re thinking, that sounds too simple, or perhaps even condescending, this is what I’d like you to think about: We all come into this world being fully Real. Then, over time, we grow away from our true selves and into something we think we ought to be. With the understanding that we entered this world fully whole, I’m reminded of just how powerful each one of us is. I believe it’s how we were created.

Come back to you. Trust. Listen. Allow God to whisper inside you. Allow that whisper to turn into a voice that speaks to you. Allow it to guide you on the road back to Real.

~~~~

Become Real

“To paraphrase the horse, Real is what happens when you become your true self – – not a contrived, shiny, pretend thing – – and are loved despite, and maybe even because of, your imperfections.” ~Toni Raiten-D’Antonio

If you enjoyed reading this, please Share. You never know, this could be *just* the thing someone is in need of today. Love, Leslie

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I understand that for many, Trust does not come easy. It falls into the black-hole called "Easier-Said-Than-Done." And here is why: Because as children, most of us learned the exact opposite of how trust works.
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