Friday, October 07, 2011

Chicken McNuggets

About 20 years ago I swore off chicken mcnuggets for good. Every time I ate them I felt bad afterward, not to mention they didn't really taste very good. As a matter of fact, I got some for lunch one day and said a quick prayer before digging in, "Dear God, please don't let these kill me." I proceeded to bite into one only to discover that it was a chunk of breaded fat. I couldn't find any actual meat in it. That's what caused me to swear them off forever.

Some of you may have already guessed where this is going, and you're right. I took my life into my hands yesterday and strolled down to the ghetto McDonalds on 3rd & Pike. Luckily I didn't see any drug deals or police activity, nor was I harrassed by the Scientologist next door. It wasn't all good news, though, the creepy cross dresser was working that day. But I digress. I went there with the best of intentions - to get a nice healthy grilled chicken bacon ranch salad. That's when I fell victim to marketing. I saw the huge sign saying that 20 piece mcnuggets were only $5 and thought, what the hell. Obviously they didn't kill me, and I'm happy to report no ill effects to my digestive system. And I'm happy to report that the chicken to mystery ingredient ratio has improved drastically. However I was reminded that they still don't taste very good and I can now go another 20 years without eating them.

Now that I've conquored that fear, Kentucky Fried Chicken - or KFC as they now refer to themselves since the presence of actual chicken in their food is questionable - is trying to lure me back. That's another place that I only visit every 3-4 years as that is the approximate amount of time required for me to forget how unbelievably greasy their chicken is. But they keep advertising 4 extra pieces of chicken free in their buckets, and I struggle to resist the lure of free food. Since I have been there within the last year to try the infamous Double Down, however, I may have been there too recently to fall for it.