It's not all about you

Isn't it interesting how you completed that sentence without consciously deciding to?

Aristotle and other Greek rhetoricians (people schooled in the art of public speaking) called that kind of communication an enthymeme (pronounced EN-the-meem). It's a strange word, but it's when a person purposely leaves out part of a statement, enticing the audience to fill it in.

An enthymeme lets you engage the other person because they get to participate in the communication rather than passively receive your messages.

Like this: What goes around"¦

You filled that in right away, giving you some extra satisfaction because you were involved in the interplay of that sentence, as opposed to if the whole thing was laid out for you.

Unfortunately, people don't always communicate this way.

Too often the people we regularly hear from — neighbors, friends, Facebook posters, newspaper columnists and others — focus the core of their communication on themselves. They begin sentences with "I" or "we" and end with "me" or "us."

Probably they think they're relating to you by telling you "their" story, which they assume you will benefit from.

But that kind of talk — "I this," "I that" — can be a turn-off to the person receiving the communication, because they are barely acknowledged and serve basically as a bystander to the conversation.

It's as if they don't matter.

However, more considerate communicators actively engage the people they're speaking with.

Don't you agree?

See how that cheap trick of a question invites you to be engaged with this column?

The fact is that most people don't want to suffer through so-called conversations in which the other person is constantly "reporting" what they are thinking and doing, and redirecting the conversation back on themselves, seemingly desperate to make sure you know what they're all about.

Instead, people would rather be energized by others' communication. They would like the communication to be about both people, not one person dominating.

In an ideal conversation, someone is asked about themselves, and then they get to respond directly to someone else's interest in them. Then this switches, and the other person answers questions about themselves, too.

Therefore, enthymematic communication — asking the receiver to fill in missing pieces of a thought — is really a way of asking the receiver to share in the very act of communication itself.

Still, some will continue talking about themselves with little regard for the receiver.

Because you can lead a horse to water.

Rob McKenzie is a professor of communication studies at East Stroudsburg University.