Posts Tagged ‘New York’

Never missing an opportunity for some fake populism, several Republican Congress members are planning to attend Tea Parties today. No Democrats are currently slated to show.

Don't get screwed by the IRS. Vote for the people who invented the offshore tax haven.

House minority leader John Boehner (R-OH) will attend a Tea Party in Bakersville, CA. Apparently he needs to work on his killer tan. House Budget Committee Chair and writer of the idiotic alternate Republican budget Paul Ryan will attend a Tea Party in Madison, WI. Madison, known for it’s hippies, gays, atheists, environmentalists, feminists, stoners, and out-of-control Halloween parties will let out a proverbial fart in his general direction.

Former Speaker of the House and newly baptized Newt Gingrich will head up to New York for an event. No word yet on when he will be divorcing his third wife. We’re pulling for sometime next Thursday immediately after she is diagnosed with incurable and heavily-mutated tuberculosis. That seems to be his style.

Assorted assholes at The National Organization for Marriage hired a bunch of out-of-work actors to stir up hatred against The Gay Storm. It’s going to corrupt your kids. It’s going to take away your freedom. And it’s all going down…this summer on Pay-Per-View.

One by one, each state in the United States is going to legalize same-sex marriage. Like it or not, it’s going to happen. All of the Christian Coalition hypocrites are just going to have to get used to equal rights for the queers. This is not something that can be stopped. You are wasting your money. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

And my god, there are going to be huge Pride parades after each one. The federal government might as well step in now with a federal amendment to the Constitution legalizing gay marriage. That way there will only be one gigantic gay orgy. If we go with the state-by-state solution, every single person in the country is going to be treated to gay festivals of epic proportions.

This is what happens when you are on the wrong side of history. When your grandkids ask you if you voted against the rights of a minority, hang your head in shame, knowing full well that the only way that they will respect you is if you lie to them.

As for these people, they are insignificant. Let the old die and the youth will change the face of this nation. State by state.

A gunman opened fire at an immigration services center in Binghamton, New York on Friday, killing as many as 13 people before he was killed. Preliminary reports do not say whether the gunman took his own life or if police shot the man.

Give us your poor...

Immediate response:

1. Conceal and carry may be the only way to really stop these psychos.

2. Conceal and carry will NOT stop this from happening more in the future, as the gunmen are already suicidal.

3. Several anti-immigration newscasters should accept some of the blame for this one. If Marilyn Manson and Natural Born Killers contributed to Columbine, then Lou Dobbs and others who rail on illegal immigration every damn night should take some responsibility. It’s not so much that Dobbs, Hannity, and Limbaugh are dangerous themselves, it’s that there are a few people in the United States who are incredibly impressionable. All of these reports cause them extreme stress and they eventually snap.

I’m not saying this is 100% the case with this shooting, because details are still scarce, but it is within the realm of rational thought at the moment.

Rush Limbaugh has had it with the state of New York. After years of maintaining a a condo in New York and paying the state’s income taxes, he is looking for another place to vacation when hurricane season hits in Florida.

Oxycontin will make you rich.

The multimillionaire is particularly perturbed by Governor David Paterson’s decision to raise the income tax in order to make up for next year’s deficit. Rush doesn’t yet know which state he will run away to when the rains come. High on his list of priorities is, you guessed it, low state income taxes. Texas is looking good, as the state has no income tax, at least for now.

Here is a partial transcript from today’s show:

New York is the escape valve in case hurricanes are showing up in our area, because of the loss of electricity. So I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to look for an alternative studio somewhere outside New York, perhaps Texas — another no-income-tax state — and I’m going to get the hell over there, when a hurricane starts coming our way, ’cause I told Mayor Bloomberg: I’ll be the first to lead the way. You know, this is just… I’ll sell my apartment. I’ll sell my condominium. I’m going to get out of there totally, ’cause this is just absurd, and it’s ridiculous — and it isn’t going to work. It’s punishing the achievers for the mistakes and the lack of discipline on the part of a bunch of corrupt politicians that have run that city and state into the ground for I don’t know how many years — and I, for one, am not going to take the blame for it.

They’re going to praise Paterson for driving me out, even though I am rarely there anyway. Or, instead of a slogan, like: “New York: It’s Never Enough,” the I love New York campaigns, “You May Love New York, But New York Doesn’t Like You.” That ought to be another slogan that Governor Paterson ought to employ.

What a fucking baby.

It’s pretty amusing that the man who says he speaks for middle America only really spends time on the beaches in Miami and in the urban jungle of downtown New York. Any bets that Limbaugh chooses one of the three big cities in Texas to call home? I don’t think you’ll see him shacking up with the tumbleweeds in Crawford.

Some might say that strippers lack moral clarity. But these days, many more would say that the purest of moral depravity is saturated in the asphalt of Wall Street. But to people who need money to pay for an apartment in Manhattan, typical morality is a luxury they can ill afford.

Showgirls, a cinematic marvel.

Wall Street has faced a lot of layoffs in the last year. From Lehman Brothers to Merrill Lynch, the nation’s leading financial institutions can’t put up the big numbers any more. But have no fear. Rick’s Cabaret, a strip club in New York City, can put up more important numbers. 36DDs.

That’s right. At least three (the NY Post says “scores” by I think they’re full of shit) former employees at Wall Street mega-firms are financing their six figure lives by showing some good old fashioned T n’ A. Randi Newton, a former financial analyst at Morgan Stanley, Katie Haverton, a former real estate broker, and Beth, a former something or other on Wall Street (article doesn’t say), now strip in the clubs of Manhattan.

Newton claims that incidents of sexual harassment have actually diminished since she began working at Rick’s. Now an independent contractor, Newton says that she is able to make nearly $160,000/year in tips alone.

Haverton has seen similar good fortune. “With dancing, the money is instant. Now that I make better money as a stripper than as a real-estate agent, I’m going to buy my own apartment.”

New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate (D) pleaded Not Guilty to assault charges on Friday in Queens. Monserrate is accused of cutting his girlfriend’s face with broken glass on December 19, 2008.

Monserrate is a tough guy.

Karla Giraldo, Monserrate’s girlfriend, appeared in court as well, defending Monserrate. She asked the judge to lift the protection order that has kept the two apart. Her request was not granted.

Monserrate delivered a statement after the proceedings saying, “From the very beginning, I have said this is an accident. My girlfriend has said this is an accident. Ladies and gentleman, what occurred on Dec. 19 was an accident.”

It’s incredibly hard to tell with these politicians. Monserrate could be completely innocent. Or, he could be a sado-masochist that gets off on blood sport. The problem is that the justice department probably won’t actually find the truth. If Monserrate has the right friends, he will get off cleanly. If he pissed off the wrong people, he’s going down. Spitzer style.