I haven't posted in a while. I also ate too many Doritos for lunch today. I haven't been to the doctor in far too long, and my high score on Robot Unicorn Attack 2 isn't as high as I'd like it to be. None of these things are my fault, though. Instead of taking ownership of them, I'm blaming sabermetrics.

Coming into today's game against the Nationals, Atlanta catcher Evan Gattis is hitting .344/.417/.781. Of course, we're dealing with a small sample size and his numbers should normalize fairly soon. What I mean, obviously, is that Evan Gattis should enter July hitting .390/.550/.970. The only thing in the world bigger…

The last preview! And we're only a week into the season! God, I hate writing these things. I wish I would have never started. Did anybody read the AL Central preview? I said Miguel Cabrera and Justin Verlander would be good. What's the point of even writing that? Of course they're going to be good. They're Miguel…

It's safe to say the Tigers own this division. They currently employ the Central's two best hitters and probably three of its top five starting pitchers. Even so, Cleveland and Kansas City made plenty of moves this winter to close that gap. While some of these transactions were better than others, none of them pose…

With Baltimore making a playoff run in 2012 and the Blue Jays poised to make a run in 2013, baseball's most watched division is the midst of a power shift. Given their financial resources, it wouldn't be surprising to see the Yankees and Red Sox assume their familiar positions of dominance soon. This year, however,…

Look at Vance Worley. Just look at that swag. Hat cocked a smidge, super badass chin hair, those trendy goggles. Look at his smirk. That smirk says, "I don't have time for smiling, but I'll flex this one side of my mouth just enough to show I'm better than you."

On to the NL Central. These projections nearly mimic last year's results. I have the Brewers losing a few more games than they did last year, but the only substantial difference is an expected 15-ish win increase for the Cubs. Call it the Epstein/Hoyer effect. Also, I love Anthony Rizzo.

Throughout the course of this week, I'll publish a preview of each division. For win totals, I'm basically just tossing some subjective intuition atop what I've seen in other projection systems, so I'll refrain from trying to be too precise. Instead of exact win/loss records, I'll project a five game range for each…

Draft #2. No wild wings. No patios. No excuses. I had full access to the player rankings that took the blame for a mediocre draft last week. The result? Another pretty mediocre draft. Before I start whining about my mistakes, I want to point out that Anthony Rizzo went in the 12th round of this draft. That was six…

Last Friday night, on an outdoor patio at Buffalo Wild Wings, your author sat in frustration as he was unable to access the player ranking documents he had uploaded to iCloud a day earlier. Surrounded mostly by people he had never before seen, he was about to do something very stupid. So stupid, in fact,…

So, Jason Brannon published a great read at Baseball Nation a few days ago concerning the issue of baseball's current best player. Interestingly enough, the piece begins by telling us that Tampa's Ben Zobrist has led all players in combined Wins Above Replacement since 2009. He then complains (very, very, very…