The first blog dedicated to the proposition that Bend, Oregon really, truly, deeply and profoundly sucks.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

As If Bend Didn't Suck Hard Enough, Now We Have Hipsters

In a previous post I wrote about some of the poseurs who inhabit Bend, notably including the "elite athlete" poseurs. Unfortunately I neglected to mention one of the more obnoxious breeds of poseur that has started to infest this town in the past five or six years or so: the hipster.

Hipsters can be identified by, among other things, their tight black jeans, their Chuck Taylor sneakers, their abundant tattoos and their fondness for bicycles (single-speed, preferably) and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, or "PBR" or "Peeber," as they call it. The last item alone tells you how execrable their tastes are. When I was starting to drink beer many years ago in New Jersey, Pabst was what you drank when nothing else was available. And it hasn't gotten better.

Hipsters have no visible means of support; it's suspected that most of them are living off trust funds. They spend their days hanging out in coffee shops surfing the Web on their iPads or MacBooks (they would never dream of owning a non-Apple product) or texting other hipsters on their iPhones (or calling their parents to ask them to send more money).

How hipsters spend their nights is something I don't know and don't want to know.

Portland is hipster heaven, as anybody who's watched the excellent comedy series "Portlandia" knows. The hipsters of Bend possibly are an overflow from Portland. It is to be hoped the climate here will prove too cold for them and they'll migrate elsewhere.

Meanwhile, for your entertainment and edification, here's a video to help you understand the Evolution of the Hipster from earlier species, including the beatnik and the hippy:

I don't know that I care all that much, I just think they're kooky. It does give you something to look at in a relatively boring, cultural landscape. They're all hoping you'll gawk anyway. Lotta effort goes into that look and you won't find them where they can't be seen.

On the kook scale, I put hipsters right up there with those people that do the mock medieval battle stuff in drake park.

The irony thing was funny for about an hour back in 2004.

Trying so hard to be different, just like everyone else.

Oh well, the flip side on that is, it could be worse. Hipsters are pretty harmless and if they want to stick hockey pucks in their ears and drink shitty beer, I'm gonna let them.