I can only assume that Taranto is a disciple of the George Costanza philosophy on chivalry, one that holds that the concept of protecting women and children first in dangerous situations is an antiquated notion.

Ladies, whatever you do, if you somehow find yourself engaged to James Taranto, don’t lick the wedding invitations.

What about those Catholic priests who molested young boys? They shared the word of God to way more people than they molested. And what about the young boys who were too ugly to molest? Didn’t hurt them at all. In fact, those priests are some pretty decent people if you think in ratios. For every kid they molested, like 500 people learned that God hates fags.

I’m going to take a wild leap here and suggest that they were, in fact, worthy of the sacrifice to the men who died for them. Why the heck else would they of jumped in front of bullets for them? This dude is a chode.