Frank commentary from an unretired call girl

Remembrance

Four things greater than all things are, —
Women and Horses and Power and War. – Rudyard Kipling, “The King’s Jest”

Ninety-five years ago today, at eleven o’clock in the morning, the armistice that ended the First World War went into effect; the anniversary was immediately established as Armistice Day among all the Allied nations. Though it retains that name in France and Belgium, it was changed after the Second World War to Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth and Veterans Day in the United States, and its function was expanded to memorialize those who died in any war.* And because ever since men first marched off to war, whores have followed very close behind, it has been my custom every year on this day to commemorate some aspect of that relationship.

Of course, this sort of pompous idiocy is only possible between serious wars; while they’re going on, politics takes a back seat to reality and the necessity of dealing with the sexual energy of fighting men can no longer be subordinated to the bluenosed sensibilities of repressed civilians. The military governor of Hawaii did everything he could to make the hookers of Honolulu happy; Hitler ordered that his troops be issued blow-up sex dolls; the American authorities distributed condoms; and the Japanese resorted to the abominable “comfort women” scheme (which was also used in reverse form, with Japanese whores for American troops, during the first year of the occupation). Women were also a vital part of the entertainment provided by the American USO; not sexual services, obviously, but even the sight of a Hollywood sex symbol like Rita Hayworth or “All-American girl” like Judy Garland, or the opportunity to talk to or dance with a pretty girl, went a long way for those men starved for female affection and company. And while those women could not accompany the men into battle, their pictures certainly could: the iconic pinup of Betty Grable was merely the most famous of the hundreds of photos and illustrations of feminine pulchritude which brightened barracks, bunks, tents and even the noses of bombers. On British planes, those paintings were often of Jane, a shapely Daily Mirror comic-strip character who would always somehow manage to lose her clothes by the last panel, usually in some incredibly unlikely fashion; Christabel Leighton-Porter, the model upon whom she was based, also posed for nude photos which were literally dropped in bundles to the troops to increase morale.

Obviously, none of this could happen today; Western countries in general (and the US and UK in particular) are paralyzed by a neo-Victorian aversion to sex which preaches the ludicrous catechism that young, healthy men can simply be ordered to be asexual. Pinups and sexy art are branded “sexual harassment”, and officers are expected to enforce these schoolmarmish decrees. But all things must pass, the bad as well as the good; these hysterical attitudes will eventually vanish as anti-sex culture fades, and warriors of the future will be shocked to learn that their grandfathers were prohibited from enjoying the simple joy of cheesecake art, and punished for seeking a balm for their stress in the arms of willing professionals.

*Technically, in the US this function is served by Memorial Day (at the end of May), while Veterans Day honors all veterans, living and dead.

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My XO comes to me and says … “Hey Master Chief, the CO is looking for an old video of the ship commissioning – do you guys have it in the Chief’s mess?”

And I tell him, that I’m pretty sure we don’t. But XO is in a panic and wants to go through our video library to see if it’s there. So I agree. He’s flipping out videos and I’m watching over his shoulder and he says … “Damn Master Chief – what kind of Chief’s mess doesn’t have porn in it?” So I tell him … “I have female Chiefs – I don’t allow it here.”

So then he says … “Well it ain’t here – let’s go up and check the Wardroom (Officer’s) video library”.

Well, this young, and pretty hot junior officer had the key to that library and was in charge of it – so we go get her to let us in. As XO is thumbing through the VHS videos – he comes upon one that is completely unmarked.

“HEY THIS MIGHT BE IT!” he exclaims … and pops it into the VCR to see what’s on it.

IMMEDIATELY … “BONG … CHICHCA … BONG” … FULL ON DP WITH MOANING. I mean – this threesome was really going to town!

The hot JO is looking at the TV and laughing as the XO is SLAPPING EVERY BUTTON ON THE TV AND VCR TO MAKE IT STOP! But it just keeps going … and going … and in the mean time one of the guys in the video pulls out and finishes on the girl’s butt.

And he’s still slapping buttons!

Now – a couple of other female officers – who heard the porno playing from outside come in – cuz the volume is up to MAX.

“WOULD YOU MAKE THIS GODDAMN THING STOP, ENSIGN!!” and the hot JO hits the power button on the TV and the screen goes blank – and the sound goes off.

I look at the XO and he’s sweating … and the female JO’s are laughing their asses off!

My Master At Arms comes to me and explains that he’s gotten a rumor of a SEX VIDEO that was shot on the ship between male and female members of the crew.

So next time I’m meeting with XO – I tell him … “Hey, this is nothing – just FYI – but MAC told me he’s heard a RUMOR about a sex tape filmed on the ship. Now, don’t get excited, XO – it’s prolly NOT true … but he’s checking it out anyway.”

And the XO just looks like a sad sack all of a sudden and says …

“You know … Master Chief … I would like to think that our people are too professional to do something like that … but there’s just something in me that says … this is probably true.”

Just the look on his face – like he was about to get bent over and sodomized real hard over something like this was priceless!

MAC came to me about a week later and told me the rumor was NOT true. 😀

Letter was from some former girlfriend of one my Chiefs. It outlined how he used to take her out in the woods – chain her to his Jeep – and urinate on her. Now – she insists, in the letter, that the activity was CONSENSUAL – and no, she’s not filing charges … she just wants the CO to know what a JACKED-UP pervert this Chief is and how he gets his jollies.

Well – there’s nothing we can do about this – it’s consensual and it’s not illegal to chain a woman and pee on her if she says it’s okay.

But – about three weeks later … REAGAN dies – and this Chief was a big Conservative and fan of Reagan – yeah, go figure.

But the CO has a change of command scheduled on the day of Reagan’s “day of remembrance” – which was on a Friday. I think every command was taking off that day but CO asks me if I think we can have the Change of Command anyway and I say .. “Yeah – Reagan would have wanted that.”

Well – this Chief comes to bitch – and says … “it’s disrespectful to the legacy of Reagan to have this ceremony on his day of remembrance”.

So later … CO says … “Hey Master Chief – has anyone expressed any problem they have with continuing to hold this ceremony?”

And I say … “Well, yes ma’am – Chief umpty-scratch has a problem with it.”

“Why does he have a problem with it?” she asks ..

“He says it’s disrespectful”

And she says … “Let me get this right … a guy who chains women to his jeep and pisses on them for fun thinks holding a change of command ceremony on Ronald Reagan’s day of remembrance is … DISRESPECTFUL?!’

And we both start laughing hysterically!

She was a red-headed fire-brand and I would have fucked her in two seconds if given the opportunity. I loved that gal!

By the way – it’s too bad the French weren’t as pissed about the occupation BEFORE they surrendered (WWII). They surrendered a mostly intact army.

But after the liberation – the French people exacted justice in the streets for, estimates say – up to 10,000 Vichy collaborators. Some were brought to trial and executed – but a lot were just ripped out of their beds and butchered in the most horrific manners imaginable.

I don’t really have a problem with that – it’s just … that kind of passion would have served them far better on the “front end” of the conflict.

Simone de Beauvoir wrote one of the most interesting essays I’ve ever read called … “An Eye For An Eye” – in which she struggles with the notion of exacting revenge against Vichy collaborators – but ultimately concludes that it must be done.

De Beauvoir was a proto-feminist and had been staunchly against the death penalty prior to the war. And – she was NOT Jewish … and had not been particularly effected by the war – so it’s not as if her emotions were caught up in the moment of passion.

And – more fascinating … in an “Eye for an Eye” – she is more specifically justifying the execution of Robert Brasillach, who was simply a propagandist for the Germans and never personally harmed anyone.

It’s a fascinating read – because she doesn’t abandon a single one of her ideas on the death penalty that she held before the war – but admits, in the end – these cases against the collaborators are justified.

Back in the day, we made a port call in Thailand and the Command master chief gave us a liberty brief on the ship’s TV system. I remember him extolling the benefits of a body massage and the way the girl would use a “little scrub brush” to get you squeaky clean. It turns out that the scrub brush was factory equipment . . . That CMC and our friend krulac were part of a different generation (and I would say better in terms of understanding how the real world works – duh). I doubt that sailors going on liberty in Pattaya Beach get that same informational talk today.
Happy Veteran’s day Chief

Leonard, thank you. If you remember, during your time, there WERE a few rules and regulations that were floating out there that everyone expected to be broken – but would prosecute the hell out of if they ever saw the rule broken.

And that mentality has penetrated EVERYTHING in the Navy. It’s like …

“Hereafter … GREASE is OUTLAWED!! You will not use grease for anything!”

Now of course – your machinery doesn’t work without grease – and the guy who’s telling you that you can’t use grease knows that. He expects you to use the grease … but he want’s plausible deniability and doesn’t want to know about it. He doesn’t want to see any grease – or see you use any – or even hear of you using it. He doesn’t really agree with the policy of banning grease, because he knows the Navy runs on grease (and duct tape) – he’s just parroting what his Admiral told him. Now … if he sees a little grease and NO ONE notices that he saw it – no problem, he’ll turn a blind eye – as long as he can.

But if someone else sees that he saw some grease – well now, he figures he has to stand up for the rule and initiate an investigation to see who’s using this grease – else he’s condoning the use of grease.

This is the way it was during my final years in the Navy – and one of the reasons I was happy to retire.

We’d hit a port – and my CO and XO would go out and meet the Mayor and the Chamber of Commerce and the Rotary Club. Me? I’d usually hit the Rotary Club with them – but after that, I’d be out there talking to madame’s and “mamasans” of massage parlors and brothels – and we’d work out schemes to get the Sailors to and from the cat houses … and establish emergency procedures (which excluded the local police) in the case of a Sailor getting drunk and mean.

My CO and XO knew where I was – all the time. They secretly condoned it. The last thing they wanted was a news story about trouble in a cat house for one of the boys under their command. So what I was doing was necessary and they knew it. And they were glad I was doing it.

But what I was doing was also ILLEGAL under the UCMJ the way it’s being interpreted now for human trafficking.

And if I had gotten caught – and the CO was unable to “turn a blind” eye – it was understood by me that he would end my career over it. He wouldn’t have felt good about it – but he would have done it nonetheless.

I’m very conflicted about Remembrance Day. There’s a lot of pressure to wear a red poppy, and we are always reminded that they died that we might be free.

But, the red poppy was appropriated by the Earl Haig fund for the provision of ex-servicemen; you might well think that the poppy and the fund were an act of expiation on Haig’s part; he was, after all, one of the ‘donkeys’ in WW1.

The red poppy is politically very divisive in N Ireland. There is also a white poppy, as a peace statement; I’ve never seen it for sale here.

But, I remember not only the ‘lions’ who died; but the idiot generals and politicians who led them. And the women who were left alone when a generation of young men was eliminated.

I remember the ‘peace’ settlement after the Armistice; it effectively led to WW2, and to the continuing problems in the Middle East.

I wrote a piece on my old blog a few years ago about remembrance; the point is that we remember everyone who died. As I put it then:

“Today, we remember everyone, guilty and innocent, soldier and civilian, brave and coward, hero and villain that was killed in war. Not just the British military deaths, but everyone; the gaelic football fans killed in Páirc an Chrócaigh in 1920, the Japanese citizens at Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, the British and German soldiers at the Somme in 1916, the ANZACs and Turks in Gallipoli in 1915, the Vietnamese at My Lai in 1968, even Reynhard Heydrich in Prague in 1942. War kills, and we should never forget that.”

There is a very large war memorial at Gallipoli, erected by the Turkish government. It doesn’t commemorate the Turkish war dead; it commemorates all those who died there.

I haven’t visited the war graves in Flanders and elsewhere; but I’m aware that the soldiers weren’t repatriated (as they are today) because the politicians realised that the scale of the slaughter would be so demoralising.

My conflict remains; I cannot reconcile the thought that ‘they did not die in vain’ with the reality; because I think so many of them did, sacrifices to the idiocy, wilful blindness and arrogance of our and their leaders.

I spent 15 years researching Army unit diaries and various other printed materials (along with on site visits to European battlefields and cities), to determine the fate of a dead relative who was killed in Germany in 1944.

I found out some interesting things.

– The US Army had it’s own funeral “corps” that basically did all the undertaking and record-keeping on American dead. These were some record-keeping motherfuckers and they hardly get mentioned. They treated the job seriously … did it all with paper and pen – and I’m wont to find any real mistakes they ever made – though I’m sure there were some.

– It was thought that American dead in WWII would not be repatriated – but simply interred overseas in memorial cemeteries as the dead of WWI had been. Therefore – all along the invasion route – temporary burial sites were selected for the dead. In a lot of cases – these “temporary” sites became permanent sites – but the dead still had to be exhumed and arranged in accordance with the final memorial layout. It was the funeral corps of the Army that temporarily buried the dead – and then exhumed them – taking notes every time they had the body in their possession. They even documented wounds on the bodies – and this was something that helped me greatly in my research since unit diaries really don’t get into specific wounds of those KIA.

– They also documented possessions that were left on the body. I was able to determine the existence of a bracelet that everyone had forgotten about for 50 years. We later found it! It had been sent back.

– The Henry Chappelle Memorial Cemetery in Belgium is right next to the temporary site selected by American forces on it’s march to Germany. It was selected … and then it was ANNOUNCED to the American troops that if they were killed in Germany – they would be brought back to Henry Chappelle for burial. This was announced to improve the morale of the soldiers – NONE OF WHOM WANTED TO BE BURIED IN GERMANY.

– After the war – Congress passed a law allowing for the repatriation of WWII dead – at the family’s request. Now – this is where the Army didn’t do such a good job – because many of the families found it hard to run through the red tape to reclaim their loved-one. Especially rural folk who had no experience dealing with Army bureaucracy. My relative is still overseas … I found MANY letters from his Mom and Dad (to the War Department) requesting the procedure to repatriate him. One of the things I was surprised by – my relatives were share croppers – with pretty much flawless handwriting and grammar. They were no dummies but they were simple people.

– After all these years of research in looking at the cost of that war – I now have an appreciation for the notion of “pre-emptive” war, certainly more so than most Americans.

My conflict remains; I cannot reconcile the thought that ‘they did not die in vain’ with the reality; because I think so many of them did, sacrifices to the idiocy, wilful blindness and arrogance of our and their leaders.

They did die in vain. “The war to end all wars” was an obvious failure.

Imperialism still continued, and new, more savage forms of government came into prominence. The foulest regimes of the current age directly owe their existence to the madness of World War One.

I read about a WW1 brothel, organised by the army. I’ve forgotten whether it was the Brits or the Germans, and it doesn’t matter. There was a red light at the entrance for the men, and the sergeant-major allowed each man 10 minutes. Beside it was a more superior establishment, with a blue light. This was for the officers; there was no time pressure.

During WW2, English girls provided comfort and succour to service men on leave. The story goes, that one airman went to a famous but very discrete brothel in Mayfair. The madam suggested the services of a certain girl. When the airman entered her room, he recognised her; she was his sister.

I had a friend who was a navy vet and a former stripper. I remember her saying something about how they were both professions people were both attracted to and repulsed by, but mostly didn’t understand. I guess there’s a sympathy between the two oldest professions.

They seem to wind up married alot, maybe it’s just the people I knew, but there do seem to be a lot of army wives who worked as call girls or strippers before they were married. Her husband was army. And the people I’ve known in the military didn’t share the same negative view of sex workers as other Americans.

There’s another thing I’m sort of loathe to mention on Vet’s day, but one thing I remember both of them having an extremely negative view of was liaisons, including for money, within the ranks. Basically, if you don’t let this happen off base, it happens on base. And that is destructive of morale.

The COB on my first boat got the whole crew together one day when I was off doing something offship. He told them … “You all know Krulac’s girlfriend – Michelle, and where she works. You can go there, but steer clear of Krulac’s woman – pick another okay shipmates?”

One of my buddies told me he did that – which was nice of him, I thought. Michelle knew the whole crew as well as I did – and none of them ever attempted to schedule a session with her.

Not that it really mattered to me – she had had sessions with some of the guys before i met her.

One of ’em – a big machinist named “J.P.” … one day he had just fixed the O2 generator (also called “the bomb’) and he was in crew’s mess when someone yelled … “Hey J.P. – you are one lucky motherfucker!!” and J.P. stopped and looked and pointed at me and said … “NOT AS LUCKY AS THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!”

This is something I saw on some History Channel thing some years ago, so if I have any details wrong, I’m sorry.

In WWI the navy showed their sailors a lot of STD horror films and basically told them to keep it in their pants. There was nothing about condoms or any other non-abstinence method of preventing disease. STDs were epidemic in the navy and, when WWII rolled around, the navy again showed STD horror films, but also showed films about how easy and sensible it was to drop by the doc’s place and pick up some rubbers. This made for a much healthier navy.

[…] 1914, Western civilization had not yet sunk into the modern madness of pretending that healthy young men can simply “just say no” to sex without ill effect (or that they should); with rare exception, absolutely nobody in military […]

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