Can anyone tell me what the sounds of sodomy are? I have two innocent children and I don’t want to inadvertently expose them to these deviant noises when I’m on the toilet or bending over to pick up a slipper.

Hello anus, my old friend I’ve come to bugger you again Lift yourself up to me, sweetly I’ll plant my seed in thee, deeply And the dim vision of our sin In their brains, still remains When they hear the sounds of Sodom.

From crumpled sheets are heard our moans By the kids we raise as our own Saved from homes both scary and sad Now they thrive with papa and dad Until they awoke from the crash Of our bottle of lube that fell Such are the sounds of Sodom

Bedroom door opened, then they saw Papa pounding daddy sore “Why are you hurting our daddy?” “Get off him now or we will scream” We froze in place, could hardly move The moment gone, we’d lost our groove Betrayed by the sound of Sodom

“Fuck,” thought I, “no, not again!” How do breeders conceive their kids? Spike the Kool-Aid with Dramamine? Or have them watch the movie screen With songs of Disney rising into the night. Drowning out the sounds of Sodom

Oh, we tried we tried to no avail Sex that night was doomed to fail By that time the kids returned to sleeping We lay together individu’ly tweeting And updating Facebook with pictures taken earlier that day. At a play date. iPhone alerts: the new sound of Sodom.