Please can we stop talking about weight

This is a subject which I’ve wanted to write about for a while, but I’ve always struggled to find the right words. To put it bluntly, I am tired of hearing people talk about weight. How much they’ve lost. How much they’ve gained. That they should really lose a few pounds. That they’re trying this new diet to get slimmer. Or an app, or fasting programme, or whatever else is supposed to make your body take up less space. I’m sick of hearing myself wonder whether my boyfriend loves me because my stomach isn’t flat.

Why do we say
“you look like you’ve lost weight!” as a compliment? How do we know
that person hasn’t lost that weight in an unhealthy and damaging way? And by
suggesting they look ‘better’ this way, it’s just offering positive
reinforcement that they’re doing the right thing, that they’re more accepted if
they’re smaller.

At what point did we
start endorsing the notion that thin = good, fat = bad? Since I can remember,
I’ve been fed the idea that being fat is the worst possible thing you can be,
and this is just exacerbated by all the companies trying to make money off our
insecurities, telling us the best way to fix flaws which I didn’t even know
were flaws until they were marketing a solution to them.

Lose 10lb in 2
weeks. Follow this diet to get rid of belly fat. Do this exercise to change
this body part. Use this magical serum extracted from the anus glands of a
baboon to eliminate cellulite.

In short, **** off.

First of all, fat is
not bad. When someone says “I’m fat”, our first response is to go
“no you’re not!”, which just reinforces to this person the idea that
being fat is an awful thing to be. Fat does not mean lazy, disgusting, unhygienic,
unhealthy, undesirable, unloveable, or any other negative connotation. Fat
means a person has some extra fat cells in their body. Fat means…fat. Nothing
else.

And if anyone tries
to counter that with a ‘health’ argument, you can shove it up their (word
redacted as my mum might read this). You can’t tell a person’s health by
looking at them. And if someone is that concerned about other people’s health,
they can go ahead and lecture every person in a pub for drinking alcohol, and
every smoker on the street, and every person engaging in extreme sports because
those are all pretty big health risks too. If not, it’s clearly not ‘health’
reasons that they’re having a go at fat people. It’s their own prejudices and
inability to accept that we all look different and that it’s none of their
effing business.

No body type is
better than the other. Thin, fat, whatever. The point is we’re all different
and we shouldn’t all be trying to attain a certain ideal. This idea of a
‘perfect’ body changes all the time, throughout history, for men and women, and
so we all try to keep up with the trend. Hourglass figure, muscular, slim, big
bum, big boobs, no boobs, thigh gap, third nipple, tail (I did my research I
promise). But we can’t change our appearance as carelessly as we can change our
clothes. We need to stop treating our bodies like a fashion statement, because
they are so much more than that.

Take joy in the
things your body can do, marvel in the way it can move and feel and experience.
Your stretch marks, scars, freckles, cellulite and any other ‘imperfections’
are proof that you have lived and that you are a unique human being with a
unique human experience. This is what we should be focusing on, not whether our
thighs jiggle or whether we have belly rolls.

And more
importantly, we are so much more than our bodies. We are our experiences,
emotions, thoughts, feelings. We are the people we surround ourselves with and
the relationships we treasure. We are the talents and skills we’ve cultivated
over the years.

So just eat the
cake. You’re not ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’ for eating it, and you’re not ‘good’ for
having a salad instead. Why the hell do we attach moral judgement to the food
we’re eating? Food is our fuel, it’s there to give us energy and be enjoyed,
not to cast a shadow on our morality. Yes, be healthy, look after yourself, eat
a balanced diet and move now and again. But don’t do it to lose weight – that
shouldn’t be the end goal. It might be a side effect, but it should be about
nourishing your body and making it stronger, not just trying to eliminate the
wobbly bits. Everyone has wobbly bits.

I think I’m about
done. I’m not sure of the way forward in changing any of this, but I think
talking about it and recognising the damage we are doing to ourselves and
others in the way we talk and the things we discuss is a start. Let me know
what you think.

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Alice Jane

I'm a 20-something-year-old graduate who needed a creative outlet, and this is the result. I love books, baking, writing, music and drawing in any combination and I want to share these with whoever might be interested. Peruse at your pleasure.

I think you’ve put it perfectly! I couldn’t agree more. Talking about it and putting it out there is definitely a good thing for encouraging people to think differently and question what advertising and the media tell them every day. X