Declaration of a Non-Candidate

After long and careful consideration, I have decided not to run for President of the United States in 2020. I realize this may come as a disappointment to my supporters, and I will leave my future options open, but the timing is just not right.

This should not be construed to mean that I am not qualified. Admittedly, I don’t know how to twitter, but I could learn. Joe Biden stated that he is the best-qualified American for the job, but the only thing he does better than the average citizen is find the White House bathroom. I have known second grade teachers who are much better motivation...