Not Quite Weekend Reads: Spanking Effects, Children and Online Privacy, and Shutting Down “Locker Room Talk”

Happy belated Weekend Readers. My usual Sunday Morning blogging time was interrupted by my beloved Cincinnati Bengals travelling to jolly old England for a 9:30 AM tilt against the Washington Racist Names. Apropos to the setting at Wembley Stadium the two teams played to an exciting 28-28 draw that left this fan mentally exhausted for the rest of the day. But we’ll make up for it with extra awesomeness today!

At the outset, Berkowitz says many people never speak up about lewd talk because they assume they are the only ones who are offended by it.

“Research shows that most people are uncomfortable by these comments, including men. But most people don’t know that most people aren’t comfortable,” Berkowitz tells me. “That’s important because if we are in a group and I make an inappropriate comment and you’re upset, your reaction may be influenced by whether you think other people are also upset.”

So in the face of uncertainty, he recommends asking others — bystanders on the street, co-workers, or friends, depending on the situation — how they perceive the talk or the action. “It’s important to know you are not alone in your concern,” he says.

Even if you find out you are the only one who’s offended, he says it’s still worthwhile to have a conversation. And in that case, ask third person.

“We’re talking about norms: what people say is acceptable,” he says. “We’re not assuming that everyone agrees, but trying to determine if it’s a norm so that you have accurate information to base your response on.”

Lou Doench

Lou Doench is a 48 year old father of three. Twelve years ago he married the coolest woman in the world and gave up the lucrative career of being a photography student to become a stay at home husband and Dad, or SAHD. An atheist geek, or a geeky atheist if you prefer, Lou likes reading, photography, video gaming, disc golf, baseball and Dr. Who. He has been playing Dungeons and Dragons since 1976. Born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. He is also an excellent home cook, not that his children would know because they only eat Mac & Cheese. Follow Lou on Twitter @blotzphoto or check out his photography at www.flickr.com/photos/blotz/