Wendy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break for a while. Of course, I want to jump up and say " No, don't give up. Just face your fear and get back on." However, I know that sometimes it isn't that easy. You just take your time and that confidence will come back. That first time you force yourself back into the saddle, the butterflies will be on speed and you will feel like you are about to puke but it will get easier with each ride. Don't force yourself faster than you are willing to go though. Your trainer seems to have a good plan of attack. For right now, just focus on your daughter and help her in any way that you can. You will build the urge back up sooner than you might think. I would also wait on buying a horse for a while and just stick with some of the old schoolmasters who have been everywhere and done everything. Whatever you decide to do though (even if it is to stay a horse show mom), you have our support. Just take a deep breath and take some time. It will get better.

I know how you feel. I have lost complete confidence in myself. But the thing I learned is why would I give up something I love? I never lost my love for horses. I fell off I got back on. I broke my arm I still rode.
But then I fell off my horse and everything changed. I lost confidence I got back on her and gained it back.
NOT instantly but I got it back,
Now I am back to were I am I love it. So if you love riding don't give up completly

Here's something interesting that might make you feel better: When you become a mother, your self preservation instincts become heightened. There has been well documented research on this and the argument is that when you have children to care for, your own health and well being is important not only for your own survival, but for survival of your babies. The result is that you are less likely to engage in risk taking behaviour or activities that may result in your own injury, it's instinct! (I am not a mother so only have conceptual understanding of this, nothing in practice!).

The reason I mention this is that I noticed that you say you have a 7 year old daughter, and also were involved in a horrific car accident at around the same time, no doubt making you aware of the value of your own life and how much you need to be around for your daughter.

So, if you are finding the thought of getting back in the saddle scary, don't beat yourself up over it, it's partly biological and instinctive! Just take your time and see how you feel in two months, in six months, in twelve months.

Good luck and I hope you can find some form of enjoyment with horses soon!

Thank you everyone =) I have some wonderful friends here on HF and also here at home. Everyone has been so supportive and has offered help in one form or another. I'm going to take my time, and see what happens.

Just wanted to give a quick update. I spent about 6 hours at the barn last night, just helping with random chores, feeding, turning out, bringing in, etc. I got up the nerve to saddle up, and I rode for about 25 minutes. My great friend has a total schoolmaster TB gelding boarded with our trainer, named Moe. She is away at boarding school, and suggested that I ride him as much as I'd like, to see how I like him. Well......we just trotted around, and I eventually got up the nerve to canter for a minute. I remember why I like it so much =) He was a perfect gentleman, and did everything I asked of him. I am going to spend a lot of time with him, just rebuilding my confidence. Thank you to everyone for all of your kind words. We even celebrated the triumph with a barn pizza party, lol. Having great friends and a great trainer make all the difference in the world!

That is Awesome!! I'm so glad you where able to see what you liked about riding again. It's an amazing feeling when that happens!! It sounds like you have got the right set up to getting back into it. Keep us up dated, we would love to hear how everything goes.

just wanted to give a quick update. I spent about 6 hours at the barn last night, just helping with random chores, feeding, turning out, bringing in, etc. I got up the nerve to saddle up, and I rode for about 25 minutes. My great friend has a total schoolmaster tb gelding boarded with our trainer, named moe. She is away at boarding school, and suggested that I ride him as much as i'd like, to see how I like him. Well......we just trotted around, and I eventually got up the nerve to canter for a minute. I remember why I like it so much =) he was a perfect gentleman, and did everything I asked of him. I am going to spend a lot of time with him, just rebuilding my confidence. Thank you to everyone for all of your kind words. We even celebrated the triumph with a barn pizza party, lol. Having great friends and a great trainer make all the difference in the world!

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