Here’s Your Sorta-Explanation of Riddick Movie Continuity

It comes up every time I mention the new Riddick movie. No, not Vin Diesel’s man-cleavage, though that comes up a lot too. Rather, how is it a sequel, when it looks like a remake of Pitch Black rather than a followup to The Chronicles of Riddick?

The Real Answer: It was only going to get greenlit on a small budget, so all those giant spaceships and armies had to go.

The Canonical Answer: Riddick doesn’t get around to taking an oath of office as head Necromonger, or something, which pisses off his death-soldiers, so Super Shredder from The Secret of the Ooze shows up and fights him. Then some woman that he’s probably banging stabs him, but he kills her first, and Karl Urban shows up and says, “Transcendence,” so Riddick just decides to leave the spaceship. Look, I can’t make much sense of it, and it’s really just an ass-covering excuse to say, “We don’t want to continue that story, so we’re doing a new one,” but the cartoon/motion comic where this all happens is after the jump, and maybe it’ll seem profound or semi-logical to somebody, somewhere…