So over the past 24 hours, the internet has been abuzz about Smoochr, a new dating app aimed at African Americans that allows you to choose a mate based by complexion, hair type and size of your lips. (I wish the internet would put some respeck on the letter e, e did nothing to deserve Judy Winslow treatment) My first thought was that it had to be a joke, otherwise this is the most ridiculous thing I ever seen. Of course, the thinkpiece industrial complex took over and varying pieces about how troublesome and problematic this app was hit the web because why ignore something you dislike when you can join it, take screenshots and write 700 words about it. I have 7. The app is fucking stupid, The end.

To be a wee bit fair, most online dating platforms are. While Smoochr is getting deservedly dragged for being the digital brown paper bag test in 2016, I couldn’t help but wonder about what WOULD be the hero black e love deserves, that it needs; the quintessential black dating app. (My vote is soulswipe because the name remains hilarious to me, but the correct answer is and always has been Twitter)