For those of you who weren't paying attention to this last year, I started keeping track of one particular proclamation that gets thrown around a lot: "Post of the Year." Every so often, I'll do a search for certain keywords, so if you'd like to flag a post for nomination, the best way is to quote it within its originating thread along with the phrase "POTY." But whatever. It worked before. We'll all figure it out. Let's get on with it.[flash forward]Though you can only vote for one entry, you can change that vote as often as you like until the poll closes in January.

a.

jill ebenezer wrote:

Duffy, can we put a limit on characters on these rookies (spam) 1st-20th posts? I don't even know this lame and he's treating this board like a motherfucking essay contest. We get it bro, you're an overachiever.

I was hoping this thread would be about euchre.

b.

jill ebenezer wrote:

I didn't read this zygote's post. No one did.

c.

jill ebenezer wrote:

Can you say, conspiracy to keep the Jews out?

We already own the media so technically, I've already won.

Nominated by BastardSuperstar & Jawbreaker <3 (Christ, what a mess. Okay. a: Jeb's first reply to the thread, which I included for context; b: Jeb's reply to TOHMmy, who asked what the first post was about; c: Jeb's reply to me when I said the nomination would have to count toward this year's poll.)

I heart bernies b/c1.nostalgic reasons2.u can do drugs/have sex in the greatest soundbooth in cbus just ask ratboy. The soundbooth at bernies is for doing anything but sound. That PA never will work right and never should. Its a fucking basement, anything but vox and kick in the pa is retarted anyway. I put many mics in front of cabinets for your amusement. Chew on that whalrflatrons.3.it's a rite of passage for young cbus up n comers.4.U can knock ur head on that big ass pipe during load-in.5.If u know which way the pool table leans u can win every game.6.Rock and roll dive bars should be kind of dirty and rundown. Its neat.7.The colorful clientele.8.The cheap drinks that arent so cheap anymore.9. I would never ever eat there, although close associates of mine say its fucking awesome.10.I dont know why I love to stick up for bernies, Its a shithole, and u and I know that, but its a shithole that we're better off with than without. I'd be sad if it was gone. I still enjoy playin down there once a year or so. That is all and who cares what I think anyway.

PS Soundman Mike11.Monitors, Shmonitors. I dont need to hear myself to know how to rock. I just turn the mains towards the stage. Turns the pa into a sidefill/frontfill. lol.

This past decade has truly been an abysmal age. From The Strokes to Paramore with too much George Bush givin us the “what what in the butt” in the all around. All the horrible 1980's materialism and shallow fashion addiction that we had worked so hard to smash up and run out of town resurrected as spandex survivor's guilt. Reopening the floodgates of racist, sexist, anti-intelligent crap onto the world. What's worse is that there shall forever be a generation who looks back on all this horror with nostalgia.I'm just glad we can finally take this dying, mangy, mutt out back and with one slug, release it from it's sad, mortal coil. And released we all shall be. The advent of Youtube, Ubuntu, bit torrents, and (insert favorite social network here) have given Earth's people unprecedented access and insight into to each other. The long result will grow to a thriving media environment where great works will be made without regard to (but still including) profit or fame will be the norm. Not soon enough. In far too many way, these past ten years have simply been wasted time that we will never get back. Still, there were some high points, some great nights spent as drunken, huddled masses. Days when we thought we could scream away war and bigotry, and moments when we almost did.

This is a rough sketch of the few hours of this decade that were worth living through.

Best RecordsBeetles, Jay-Z, DJ Danger Mouse vs The Record Industry - The Grey AlbumThe official opening salvo of mash up culture. Something my dad I can enjoy for the next 20 years. The one saving grace of an otherwise depressing era is this kluster-sonic joyride through what you thought you knew. 84 Nash – A Secret Reward The last great stand of the last great Dayton band. When the Nash broke up, God melted the mold with it. Thanks goodness they managed to release this most hummable opus before the end came. Defiance Ohio – Share What You Got Hands down, the official motion picture soundtrack of every raging party worth going to. Smelly kids, broken hearts, and escapist politics. Seriously, I had crush on Sherri when I was 15 and she was a crazy eyed bike messenger. I did a techno cover of “Chad's Favorite Song” for a Christmas compilation a couple years ago.Silver Jews – Bright Flight I'm so, so glad Dave Berman decided to grace us with his unhealthy wit. Really great interviews didn't come until the later albums, but this one has some real jukebox standards. Sword Heaven – We Of The Fucking Mountains I don't get the whole noise movement that took over the world for three or four years in the middle of the decade. My best guess is that it was somewhere between an attempt to sonically represent the anti-senseable quasi brutality of the day and the best attempts of those who like to talk a lot to present their inability to create as creation itself. Either way, this record stands out as the opposite of all the rest of that. Actually inspired, biologically rhythmic, and louder than God. Beat The Devil - Self TitledThis NYC based trio always put on a great show, something Tom Waits himself may have gotten jealous of from time to time. Columbus Needs A Mountain V/A I can't believe how much mileage this compilation is still getting. The last leftover of a real effort to build a mountain in Columbus, Ohio.Lifter/Puller – The Soft Rock Warnings, therapy, and the best riffs ever. I tried to drown out the pain of the millennium with women, drugs, booze, and insomnia...after all of that failed this album was there to hold my hair back, kick me in the jaw, and send me back out with at little something to look forward to.Times New Viking – We Were High/We Were Not High The shotty 5 song EP that started it all. Still their best record to dateThe Mighty Boosh – Season TwoI know these guys aren't a real jazz-funk band, but these guys are 8000% more of a real band than some of the stuff I had to put up with on the radio is the past ten years. And unlike the White Stripes, they actually have sex with each other!!

okay.. so a couple weeks ago i went for a light run. just a few miles. i went out to my car and grabbed my headphones.. i was gone like 25 minutes. i come walking up my alley and two kids come walking from my drive.. one kid goes "have you seen a dog?".. i didn't answer. it was suspicious, i knew something was going on, just wasn't sure what. i walk right past them and i see the interior light of my car is on. i turn around "you fucking assholes".. and the chase is on. they split up so i can only follow the smaller kid, who's maybe 12, 13 years old. he runs across high street while i on the other hand can only watch as cars whip by. 10 seconds later i can finally cross. there are two guys standing there that run the skate shop across from me. "Hey, you guys see a kid run by here?", "oh, you mean scott?" "YEA, that kid" "he lives over there in that house with the OSU flag". i knock on the door and some punk 16 yr old says scott doesn't live there, don't know who that is yadda yadda.. no parents home he says. typical punk ass bs. so i call 5-0. the kid took my sirius radio and the cops run over there. and gather info. i wanted so bad to knock on their door and say "hey, you assholes are harboring a KNOWN thief that stoll my fucking radio. i want my god damn radio back and a nice fucking apology and we can all put this behind us."i get a call from the police today. turns out the parents who i never spoke to were beligerent narcotics dealers. a BIG bust went down in that house.. parents off to jail, kids sent to relatives etc. a total mess. there's no telling what kind of insanity was going on.i guess the moral is... if you don't know what you're getting into, best to stay out...?who knows what coulda happened. i'm pissed off still, but those kids lives are fucked.

One of my better George Jones stories of the bender of 2008 was having two cars towed from a bar at 8pm, going to Shamrock and paying for both of them around 10pm or 1030pm after some debate and returning with both of the cars to the bar and drinking til 3am. Once you've spent that much at Shamrock you might as well run up the tab. It doesn't look like much by contrast.

Then, there's the tow truck driver who held me at gunpoint in 2007. Scum bags of the Universe.

I had a crazy-ass neighbor who, legend has it, jumped the barbwired fence, outran the dogs and firebombed one of their trucks years ago right on their lot. That doesn't sound possible. He was out of town for 2 weeks and said his crappy car was in a legal spot. When he came back it cost him more to get the car out than the car was worth.

With Ravari, the crappy thing is that many people used to be able to park at that spot all of the time. So, unless there is a huge new sign- who's going to notice it? You're not going to look for it.

When my car(s) was towed from a bar it was in a spot that was always legal for patrons (they still park there nightly), but, I guess the guy who owned the spot decided to change the terms for the evening. Nice!!!!!!!!!!

So, I got bad towing karma out of the way in one year. I was on the fast-track in 2007-08 of paying it all up front for the rest of my life.

Go get some. Get it out of the way, now. There's too much other stuff to get done.

hey junior tiger, welcome to the lucrative music industry here in bustown ohio. i want to give you some kpax pay it forward advice that someone told me and this is how i pull a couple hundred a night gigging around town.

first off go to a club. dont email them or call them because they cant see the hunger in your eyes. are you hungry? if you are not hungry thatn we are wasting both of our times - me writing and you reading.

anyway, cool yeah awesome.

you call the venue and ask to speak to the owner. if they say that they got some sleezeball guy booking the shows or one of the tattood colored haired bartneders doing it, say fuck that shit, johnny, i want to talk to the real deal. the guy who wants to make money here. who wants to make money here?

9 times out of 10 the owner will be like ok now are going somewhere with this. i want to make money that is why i charge $2 for a pepsi.

so now you have a binding contract after some paperwork. you probably cant do this write away but i can - i tell a bar that i need $600 - 300 upfront, 300 after the show is over. i like it to get free drinks for me - and maybe the rest of the band - but definitely me. and you want your girlfriend to get in for free. that is mandatory..

once you make $600 a show and you play sweet clubs then you will get an audience.

after you play a few shows, then you will go and probably start getting a reputation and get promotion in dispatch or columbus alive or whatever. so that is cool.

i hope this helps. sounds like your band is too new to play with me so dont ask to play with any of my 3 bands.

we might be into playing with you if you give us the whole $600 upfront and we play in the middle. we prefer to play 2nd out of 5.

YOU ARE SO STUPID CHURCH OF THE RED MUSEUMWEENDUMBSTERSFUCKING THAT ONE BAND THAT I HATEJOE FROM THE TREEHOUSETHE TREEHOUSETHE STUPID TREE IN THE HGREEHOUSE YOU ARE NOT VAMPIRE WEEKENDPROK FRIED RICE FROM LAST NIGHT THAT I THREW UP AFTER LIKE 20 CORONASCHRIS DEVILLE

ALL OF YOU ARE SO ANNOYING COMPARED TO THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS VAMPIRE WEEKEND, THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND SINCE THE BEATLES

I ONT CARE THAT JOE FROM TREEHOUSE HATES ME AND WONT BOOK MY BANDS ANYMORE I AM OVER IT . VAMPIRE WEEKEND CHANGES MY LIFE EVERY DAY

HOW AMANY SHOWS WILL I GO TO SEE IN NEW YORK AT RADIO CITY? MAYBE ALL OF THEM. I GOT A LOT OF MONEY BACK FROM TAXES.

I AM SO HIGH AND DRUNK FROM VAMPIRE WEEKEND SHOW AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING POSTING HERE I SHOULD BE GETTING LAID BUT INSTEAD IAM DOING THIS BECAUSE FUCK THE BANDS THAT I HATE AND LOVE THE BAND THAT I LOVE WHCIH IS VAMPIRE WEEKEND.

HORCHOTOA

BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OVER I MAY CUT DOWN THE TREE IN THE TREEHOUSE IF THE ROOF HASNT CAVED IN IN THAT GARBAGE DUMP

I am serious. Spend a very long time formulating every single note. I want sweep solos, time changes, the whole shebang. C'mon, Mr. Cool. If we are supposed to take you seriously, then you should take this request seriously.

In the mean time, if you are seen posting at all, then we will know that you aren't taking this seriously and as a result, are not a serious musician. So if I see any posts from you within...lets say...two months, I will be VERY disappointed. So just take a break from the forums for a while (no less than two months) and whip up (see what I did there?) an opus that will revolutionize the local music scene.

MAKE IT HAPPEN, WILLIAM.

Hypothetically nominated by bug (For the FYI of newcomers, and to remind the Donewaiters who will have forgotten by the time this goes to a vote, BOOB is addressing BillyCool of Billy Cool and the Whips.)

youngstown tune-up wrote:

thorne wrote:

I need to create a video today for a Columbus band for a job interview/spec. Short interview/performnce (preferably acoustic). Doesn't have to be the full band as long as you have 1 or 2 songs you can perform. PM me if interested. See my work here:

german vlg coffeeshop…yesbanana bean…YESdan's diner on south high…YESx1,000,000

i feel, at this point on into the foreseeable future, that unless i start making enough of the kind of money that turns one into the particular kind of douche that drives a rangerover, i should/will not be eating at northstar. not that it isn't good…not that it isn't worth a premium…but srsly, it seems like they're just saying don't come here unless you use burning hundred dollar bills to light yer american spirits. ORGANIC, HEALTHY FOOD SHOULD NOT BE SO PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE THAT IT GIVES PPL ANOTHER EXCUSE TO NOT SUPPORT SUCH AN IMPORTANT ENDEAVOR. especially when there aren't a million highly visible merchants purveying said food/supporting said endeavor in a specific market. also, if i have to work for longer than it takes to enjoy yer burger and chips in order to afford yer burger and chips, i hereby offer you this bag of dicks (instructions included).

COuld CIRCUS be a lArger iNdusTry like WRESTLING iF greats like VINCE were there to pRomOte tHe iNdustry? Circus is damn underrated .The artist work soo hard but they dont get tha appreciaton they deserve.

Nominated by jill ebenezer (One year later, the thread about a stolen guitar at the bar named Circus produces an even less comprehensible post from a n00b.)

BastardSuperstar wrote:

yeah, far and away.

them and lapedis were the only ones who's personality NEVER worked my nerves . . .

and as far as aaron and walt:

sometimes you spend years believing/being told that someone is truly special, and in the end you find out they're not.

i am currently listening to your new music... the music is much improved from last time, but honestly my main issue is your sound palette and high-hat sequencing... your vocals sound much better than on earlier records (they are much lower in the mix). my advice is save some money and either buy some of the equipment from the time period you are attempting to recreate (roland jupiter 4, korg mono/poly, SC prophet 5 and a pre-1980s string machine (arp, crumar, elka, siel) and a you should probably go ahead and buy an 808 (honestly it will be worth every penny of the $2000 that it will run you). stop using ableton live or fruity loops or whatever it is you are currently using... also get a stand alone reverb unit (if you want it to sound like new order (it sure sounds like it) then get an early 80s digital reverb unit, not plate, or spring) also stop programing the drums like an early 90s house song, and try and make them sound like disco drum (that is what all the bands you like did, programed a primative drum machine to sound like disco, less chicago, more new york...)

also, your lyrics are weird, make them weirder... maybe you should write some songs about being on a beach, or driving expensive cars. outerspace is usually a good subject, maybe a song attempting to describe sex in outerspace, or sex with a creature from another solar system. film noir motifs are also a tried and true early electro subject matter, maybe write a song about being a spy, a sexy spy, or a private eye. a love song written from the perspective of a piece of technology (cell phone, synthesizer, drum machine, TiVo unit, GPS unit, laptop, smartphone). also you should write a song about doing your hair, girls love to dance to songs they can relate to and i don't think there has ever been a song about doing your hair.

other things that could help you become an overnight sensation...

move to europe move to japanbecome gay (it worked for the guy from judas priest)become a pedophile (it worked for gary glitter)claim to be from outerspace (it worked for roky erikson)claim to not be from outerspaceget a sex change (it worked for amanda lepore)design a sports car and make your website only about the car, not your music (it worked for georgio moroder)get long braided hair that has the same effect as dreadlocks (it worked for sylvester)

i look forward to you implementing these ideas into your blossoming career.

we even take offense that certain other collectives feel the need to change the colloquial name of the area to something as thoughtless and uncreative as SOHUD.

Psssh. Speak for yourself. I've vowed never to return to Columbus until they officially rename the Short North area the SHONO.

If you'll remember, Columbus is the art capital of the world. You should realize by now that a city doesn't come into its own until urban neighborhoods are rechristened by Realtors with an edgy allure for today's urban frontiersmen: knobby-kneed white men in khakis and man sandals who fall into the marketing segment of wanting a loft in Soho while keeping their exciting jobs at Nationwide.

Here are some names I've personally pitched Columbus city council in the hopes of speeding up what is sure to be an urban redevelopment Phoenix from the ashes: IT-VILO, GER-VILO, FRAN-LO, NOCUPS, SOCUPS, GRANVU, and WOTOWN. Remember, if you name it correctly, they will come. They might even build a Red Lobster.

After our renaming bonanza and aggressive marketing plans are complete, we will commence upon the final stage: Mayor Coleman will hold a ribbon-cutting ceremony to commemorate the construction of city block after city block of high rise condos that will remains as empty as the commercial space surrounding it, at least until they build another mall to bring the people back. City in the sky my ass, Lando.

Oh, as far as the competing band names thing is concerned ... neither groups have names that are particularly novel or interesting, so perhaps arguing about this is just a big waste of your time?

That OP article rocks. "The Offramp... has been just like a night at Bourbon Street or Carabar, and for years, the general committee has been saying that they don't want it to be that way."

Fuck how popular the Offramp is with the public, forget the support of the Community, the General Committee has decided what art is allowed and what is un-mutual and decadent.

The people who come to the offramp don't volunteer enough? What, you got a fucking headcount percentage to work from there, Kommissar? Or are the Party Cultural Revolution Council leaders simply stereotyping that "those goddamn punk kids" won't "grow up and volunteer to work the yoga yogurt chakra gorp booth" and "won't get off my goddamn lawn"?

"We'll show those young punk rocksters with their Sha Na Na and their The Flotation Devices and No Doubt and their The Radioed Heads. From now on, OffRamp is just for nice quiet Bluegrass like Martha and I used to listen to back in the Commune yurt."

The four tapes cover the alphabet, numbers, health and safety, and foreign cultures. The multicultural story is unforgettable and worth the nightmares it may generate.Lots of musty peach meat on the nose initially. Plenty of souring bugs and yeast.

Why does the POTY have to be written text? I'd nominate any number of Lutzko's highly amusing pics and gifs. Wit doesnt have to be limited to wise cracks does it? Pics and gifs still count as posts.

I've never issued any guidelines for nominations because it hasn't seemed necessary. Last year's was an unaltered list of what people decided to nominate on their own. Though I tend to prefer catch-phrase generators, I voted for an animated gif, Ramirez was nominated for a satirical illustration, and Lutzko won with written text. If that's your sense of humor, nominate it.

dagger dagger's would win for one of the most eye rolling sarchastic postings ever. it bleeds smirkiness.

_________________"My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."-unknown

I was looking for a post from robertduffy to a n00b that said something to the effect of "don't feel like you have to singlehandedly save the board with new posts." Instead, I found something completely unrelated to that, an interesting predecessor to this thread:

Get fucked. You're willing to whittle through 14+ pages on the internet supporting, condoning (and in some cases admitting to?) criminal acts of vandalism and destruction of property to individuals and small business owners (many of them being minority business owners, if you want to keep playing that card) - but the second someone uses a relatively benign term such as "wigger" you're the first one to jump on the sensitive pony. Perhaps this "thug" lifestyle isn't working out for you too well. Can I suggest something less emotionally strenuous, like yoga or perhaps bowling? I mean, I know these are categorically ‘white’ things to do and it doesn’t help the delicately-constructed persona you’ve spent so much time carefully crafting for yourself, but if not, I guess I can take your nomenclature-wary breed of street cred to task and you can come and throw tags near where I live, in Bedstuy or Bushwick or Jamaica Queens, where I’m sure the locals will be endlessly impressed with that infamously-rugged brand of Ohio O.G. ‘thuggin.’ Put that in your pussy-wagon and smoke it.

I find it absolutely hilarious that you’ll spend years of your life co-opting someone else’s culture for your own wash-and-wear, faux-thug, paper-machete, voyeur ‘gangsta’ horseshit but the second someone calls you out on it, you either a jump on an ad hoc race-wagon or you play the role of cultural defector, making silly snippets about 401ks and campus whites when we all know that you’re cut from the same goddamn vanilla cloth. Is this the sort of ‘significant-other-ness’ role-playing that you’ve been looking for? I’m glad I could give you that fantasy, albeit for only a second. I’d rather pop that bubble and remind you that just because ‘white boyz’ have had a history of co-opting black culture, it doesn’t give you carte blanche to play a race card just because you can’t argue correctly, m-kay?

And please don't argue with me, or engaging me in one of your mouth-breathing battle-of-the-wits barnyard rutting spells, especially if you can’t manage the capacity to use your own mother tongue or to punctuate a sentence correctly. Please don’t embarrass yourself.

Finally, if my utterance of the word “wigger” happened to offend any wiggers out there, I truly apologize. I’ll make sure to call you something more suitable next time, like “Whegroes” or “Uncle Trevors” or something to that effect. No, really, I mean it – get off my lawn and get cancer.

Days later, in a second PBJ thread, Blueprint, who was not involved in any of the PBJ discussions wrote:

Quote:

I read almost the entire grafitti thread and i just want all you White people out there to know that as a Black man, I'm personally honestly offended by how often some of you people are throwing around the word "wigger". Even though you know that under the guise of anonymity you can write it on a message board and say its ok and doesnt have any racist connotations to it, I think you all are smart enough to know the truth, which is what you feel in your heart. That shit is wrong. If you want to call somebody a poser or fake or a hack, then by all means do it. But dont act like "white" + "n*****" doesn't equal "wigger".

Its like being with the fellas and calling women "bitches", but when you actually get around women they're not "bitches" anymore. Same thing with this word "wigger". I kick it with a LOT of white people, and none of them throw around that word or "nigga" and I respect them for that.

Now, I'm not saying you all are racist for saying it, but i do think you all need to think about your words and their impact on people who may not even be the target of your insults.

Its perfectly justifiable to be against grafitti, and want to insult the people who do it because they may have hurt you. But i think you step over a really ugly line when you start calling white people "wiggers", and not accepting that you can offend somebody black (me for example) or white (envelope for example) with this term. That word is just plain ole destructive..and whats worse is that you post photos of what "wiggers" are supposed to look like, and those pictures look NOTHING like the people your trying to insult in the first place. I think it just went too far, but since i just read it i couldnt really speak on it until now.

I'm not asking anybody to apologize or even defend their actions again because whats done is done. I just want you to think about your words, how powerful they are, and how people you may not even intend to offend can get caught in the crossfire and become your enemies when they may have actually been on your side.

As you were...

p.s. I'm sure it could be argued that black people say "nigga" all the time, so why cant we say wigger. But I would like you to understand that there are plenty of Black people out there that were not raised like that and dont do this. Maybe thats why i'm offended. Its not just a word, and there are plenty of other words you all can use that do not have the destructive racial connotations attacted to them.

In a discussion where cruise_elroy took issue with how certain production credits were handled with the Grafton album, Lou Post wrote:

Quote:

wow, i'm not really a reader of the board, i mean i shill on occasion for a big show, but this seems a little silly?? no one should have to defend themselves in a forum like this-it's ridiculous, and none of the 'higher calling' type reasons for having this kind of discussion will ever be touched with so much acrimony attached. i mean, does anyone think that there's gonna be a resolution here? that usually occurs in a bar or at some party, yes over drinks. sorry, but we're all just gonna have to go git shitfaced and talk passionately about music. in the same room. maybe we should get bim involved. so here:

thanks nick, for doing such great work on our recordings, for little and no money, we (grafton) still owe you beer and a debt of gratitude (and post away about that kind of shit, we're dicks). hit me up anytime, you know where i work. the shit sounds awesome, and was exactly what we wanted.

thanks CDR for pressing our record on vinyl so that both formats would be available at the same time, and for being so goddamned excited about it. and for providing the artwork gratis, which is fucking awesome, even though it was rushed into existance and some key info was omitted (btw, my name's not on it either). working with you guys has so far been very refreshing, and your energy is not being wasted.

both of you do great work in columbusland, and i hope you can start to see each other as equally successful, integral, important parts of what's really important here:

me.

thanks again.

Finally, I created that Cringe/donewaiting grafitti logo, so it ain't in the running.