8 the Union League Club removed from seats, having been dead eight days. 6:15 P. M.-Julia Hoyt signs a contract to pose for Gutzum Borg- lum's monument, "The Rivers of the New World," to be erected in Eustace Park, Boise, Idaho. 6 :3 0 P. M.-Geraldine Farrar be- gins hacking at the Civic Virtue statue recently called to her attention by Swedish Ladies' Ice Cream and Stone Foundation Association. 7: 22 P. M. (Sunset)-Mayor Hylan begins his series of twenty-four lectures on "Why I Love Old Glory" broadcast by the Municipal Building station. 7:3 1 P. M.-David Pickstcoffilo- vitch, fiery boy orator, executed for refusing to repeat oath of allegiance in Public School auditorium. 7 :4 6 P. M.-A crowd of drama lovers gathers in front of McBride's Theatre Ticket Agency to watch the electrically operated mannikin in the window raise its eyes and lift adver- tising placards out of a box. 7 :5 0 P. M.-Police reserves called out to disperse crowds ogling art pic- tures outside "Artists and Models" at the Winter Garden. 7 :5 2 P. M.-Lee Shubert calls Broadway to prayer from Muezzin Box atop Winter Garden, and Irving Sinnott, assistant Comptroller of Pub- lic Works, pulls a switch and lights Broadway. . HOW TO PASS TIME- I N THE SUBWAY STANDING- how many times a minute does the man next to you fall on you-does he have to THE NEW YORKER -think of ten ways in which one could dispose of him-how do so many people get into one train-why don't they leave some behind at the station-think of ten reasons why everyone can not have a seat- think of a hundred why everyone should -begin to smoke-how long is it before the guard tells you to stop-wait tin he squeezes his way to you-explain to him that you cannot see even one "no smok- ing" sign-how long is it before you give up-what do you think of the straps- think of ten ways in which they are a help-think of ten in which they are a detriment-listen to the guard-can you understand him-think of ten ways in which you could pronounce thë same sta- tions-would you do it-suppose you needed the money-take your hand off the strap-see how far you can lean back before you have to clutch it-how many times do you miss it-close your eyes- try to sleep. -JOSE SCHORR OUR SERMONS ON SIN I I M> I I -d "" -- ;;. I:'" :A' f ( - { . ... . 11 t.r .........- l_ '\" , " r , f /' - \ J --- Â J . Wife Stabs Husband to Death, Blames Bright Lights.-N ewspaper Headline. H ARK, my harp rings out in minor, for this is a tragi code, of a man named Jimmy Winer, who forsook his wife's abode. Where the scarlet lanterns flicker, through the gaily painted throng Jimmy Winer strolled, and liquor led him on the path of wrong. Jimmy Winer thusly scorning matrimony's sacred port greets the dawn of every morning where the wanton women sport. But the hand that rocked the baby chose the cold and cruel blade. Sin brings woe, though her array be gaily colored silk brocade. Vainly on the silent portals knocks his soul, above you see, warning to all erring mortals, his defunct anatomee Reader, heed thus not the calling of gay Broadway's lawless din. Now you stagger, soon you're falling: death will be the wage of sin. -HANS STENGEL