For connoisseurs of WTF—I’m looking at you trolls—there is but one ur-text, the guiding document by which all others emanate from, and are compared to. And though it is based on immutable laws of nature and God, it is nevertheless a living document too, revised every couple years by a gathering of wise men and women, who puzzle and debate over the text with the passion and intensity of a gathering of Talmudic scholars. I am of course referring to the Texas Republican Party platform.