Mrs Timberlake: Oscar one colour

Mrs Timberlake wore Chanel Haute Couture, pretty much right off the runway. And since Chanel dresses so few people, it was certainly some kind of statement – she doesn’t have to wear Cavalli. Fine. But if I were Karl Lagerfeld, I’d reconsider for next time. Because she managed to make Chanel totally unremarkable. And I’m pretty sure that’s against the law somewhere. She is, as Duana would say, all one colour. There’s nothing interesting about the accessories. The hair is a shrug. And the makeup is a mistake. At least give me a bold lip or something, you know? Going “all natural” in an embroidered dress at the Oscars seems totally incongruous.

And pairing her with Jamie Foxx? Not a genius move.

Here’s a man with CHARISMA. Anyone else doing that Chariots Of Fire thing? Lame. But he sold it. He made you go with it. He asked you to let him entertain you, and when you agreed, you both had fun. Which only highlighted how Mrs Timberlake just …isn’t. And she spent so much time in her own head trying to come up with something to match him, she couldn’t just appreciate him, which would have been an easy, relatable response. Instead, she stood there, visibly indecisive and therefore embarrassingly awkward. It’s what happens when you want so much to be something more than what you are.