This bawdy bluebird ponders a tranny's package, plays politics with firefighters, and poops a load all over PHX scenester Brodie Hubbard

The shindig was hosted by Southern hick and Grand Avenue Live! "talk show host" Kevin Patterson, and featured 15 guest roasters slamming Hubbard. So many folks told tales about how they initially thought Hubbard was gay that the humiliation-a-thon had an air of a "coming out" party. Actually, considering how much Hubbard enjoyed the abuse, it was more like verbal bukkake, with Brodie as the target.

Sixty schmucks paid the $5-per-person cover. Trunk Space and Hubbard split the proceeds 50/50, with Brodie shelling out some dough to the bands that performed following the roast. Musical acts included Alexis + Carissa, Andrew Jackson Jihad, and Brodie Hubbard himself, natch. Sure, he's a dweeb, but he's an egomaniacal dweeb. Hence Brodie's Wikipedia entry, purportedly written by the man himself.

From the podium, roaster Tommy Cannon from PHX puppet troupe Elastic Theater ripped, "I used to think that acoustic, painful, emo music was bad to listen to. After hearing Brodie perform, now I know that acoustic, painful, emo music is bad to listen to."

Fred Harper

Pete Petrisko, who dressed in character as Sku "T-Bone" Hadley, the perverted Mister Rogers-esque personality in Uncle Sku's "Don't call our show a Playhouse" Clubhouse, announced, "I will dance a little dance on your grave." Then he sprang onto Brodie's lap and sang "The Wind Beneath My Wings"  worse than a friggin' Bette Midler medley.

Co-owner of Trunk Space JRC quipped, "We were going to have the roast next door at Bikini Lounge, but they wanted to make money tonight."

DJ/drummer Shane Kennedy was the eve's most brutal roastologist. His Brodified zingers included such keepers as, "He's like a tow truck because at the end of the night, he's always dragging something big home," and, when Brodie took the mic to speak at the end of the roast, "If you want to be funny, just pick up a guitar."

Here's some advice, Brodie: Take that scratch you earned, hightail it to El Lay, and don't come back 'til you do something with your life, ya hear? Otherwise, The Bird's gonna treat you like a marble statue and poopify your lackadaisical butt.

Somebody threw a party? How dare they! You sure do make a good point dill hole new times writer. People should not move and have parties, and people should be ashamed for having aspirations. I love you, dill hole new times writer. You are what the French call, Le Dill Hole, dill hole new times writer. Way to stick it for some reason to someone somehow.