Can A Threesome Ruin Your Relationship?

Five Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Before Seriously Pursuing A Threesome

3. Have You Really Talked About It?

So, you’ve been with your partner for a long time. And while it’s been the best sex of your life (hands-down) — you’ve always been curious to see what multiple partner play is like. While it’s a normal fantasy, and could be a good experience if both people on board, even talking about wanting to introduce another player can be a topic that could deeply hurt your partner.

Stultz says treading carefully — but openly and honestly — is the only way to begin the conversation. “A threesome is complicated and tricky when you’re married, in a long-term relationship, and/or deeply in love. If you find yourself in one of these types of relationships, you need to have conversations discussing what each partners’ insecurities are, and what level of jealousy you are dealing with,” he advises.

“Hopefully, both of these potential issues do not exist. When jealousy and insecurities are not covered pre-game, you are lighting a fuse to a very devastating relationship bomb. This discussion needs to be non-judgmental, whether your partner wants to try, or is into the threesomes, or not. Always give your partner the opportunity to stop the threesome at any time, for any reason.”

4. Who Do You Want To Join You?

While you may be dreaming of this super-hot girl who knows your coffee order by heart and seems like she might be into some wild sexual player, experts agree that if you are going to have a threesome while in a committed relationship, it’s better to invite a stranger to your bedroom than someone you know. Even if it’s someone you barely know. Why? Thinking of other people in your life — and even developing a crush on them! — is part of being human, but when you take it to the next level with a threesome, you’re dangerously treading on the edge of cheating.

Ideally, a threesome is merely meant to add some excitement to your sex life, not cause issues or fix prior issues and acting on an impulse with someone you’ve had wet dreams about isn’t a great foot to start off on.

5. What Happens Afterward?

Consider this: You and your girl have the threesome. You’ll talk about it afterwards. You’ll clean up. You’ll come back to your marital bed (or the bed you share together, without wedding rings) and you’ll still be who you were as a couple before everything happened. Just now, you have a hot story to talk about together. And if you both liked it, maybe it’s something you do more frequently.

If you have any doubt in your mind that your partner isn’t 100% into the idea or you aren’t sold on it, or more importantly, if it’ll ruin something between you — it’s not a good idea to have one. “Couples that have a solid relationship that want to add some excitement to their sex lives and enjoy another person have to go into it with the idea that it is fun for all involved and when the experience is over the couple resumes life, meaning it was just an experience sexually that they enjoyed together,” Michael says.

“If both people are not on board with it and already have a solid relationship it can create a bigger problems. If one person wants it and the other is going along this backfires most of the time, because it is not mutual. A couple has to have a solid relationship built on trust and respect for each other and make the decision together.”