mont_michael – Montreal Metblogshttp://montreal.metblogs.com
Sat, 28 Aug 2010 17:32:23 +0000 en-US
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1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.1.1NB’s Flashmob was a bust.http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/08/10/nbs-flashmob-was-a-bust/
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 14:22:48 +0000http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/08/10/nbs-flashmob-was-a-bust/Thanks to Zeke and the Montrealblog, I was informed of a “formalized flashmob” that took place yesterday in Square Victoria. As predicted, the mob was not nearly as great as envisioned. I was unable to attend personally but I sent my agent to see if anyone really did dress in Croquet gear. Here is her report.
AGENT ENTRY #1

we showed up just before 12, and there was like 2 dozen girls dressed in tennis outfits….skirts, tanks, visors and runners all in whilte..i know the men were craving some rain. I saw a guy fall off the sidewalk cuz he was staring. The girls were cute, but lacked mega pep. I don`t think they all worked for the bank – lokoed like they hired ppl that walked off the SV metro. -and they handed out some tix (we were too late) and told us they would hand out more AFTER the press conference. There was NO crazy crowd…I was disspointed at the turnout – it was just them and the typical lunch crowd at the square. no croquet boys. sad.

so we hung around, thy did some lame frenchie cheers, walked around the square ( i dont think they knew what they were going for) and then disbanded. We wakled to the world trade centre for some snacks and on our way back, no girls nor cricket boys in sight.

On our way back on Viger, we were walking and saw 5 tennis girls huddled in a doorway smoking!!! disgusting.

and we saw another advertising squad, we thought it was croquet boys…. they handed us a post it note pad for : redecouvrez le confort.com

turns out they were adverttising for hanes. equally as lame…wtf, no pep what so ever.

]]>Spare Some Change?http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/28/spare-some-change/
http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/28/spare-some-change/#commentsFri, 28 Jul 2006 15:40:16 +0000http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/28/spare-some-change/Living in downtown Montréal is not for the faint of heart. You must be a little thick skinned, well dressed and sometimes a little bit crazy. I have been asked for money in so many ways that I thought there must be a course or training of some sort for street people. Imagine the curriculum….
Day 1, Squeegee Kid
This is the simplest form, all you need is a dirty bucket of water and a nasty old squeegee from the nearest gas station. Wait at lights for expensive foreign cars, look threateningly at the windshield and watch as the driver pays you upwards of $5 to keep away! Stay away from Ottawa as this activity is forbidden!

Day 2, Street hustler
Stand near a busy intersection with a bright hat, some tinfoil and a big smile. Wave at people, do antics with whatever props you have and be stern about standing in front of cars on their green light. You’ll bring in many loonies.

Day 3, Parking Meter Loser
Come up with a great hard luck story about how your car is parked “right there” and you just need a dollar to save getting a ticket. You have to look very sincere but you can easily score a loonie or twonie. If questioned about your car just run away.

Day 4, Creative Writing.
Create a cardboard sign that reads, “Need money for food”. This works only 5% of the time, how about “Need money for Beer”! Hey you just earned a 50% hit ratio. If you have a sign that reads “I need money for 420 and my dog needs money for beer” you might have the best sign yet. The change is random, but the humour is rampant.

Whatever you do, do NOT sit there, smoking a cigarette (a pack a day $10) sitting beside some beer in a paper bag, ($5 at the dep) and petting your purebred yellow lab (Priceless) while asking me for money! I can’t afford to smoke and therefore neither should you!

I may very well steal your hat or squeegee and smack you with it then send you back to the west island!

]]>http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/28/spare-some-change/feed/2Quebec Engineering or a Joke on Tourists?http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/21/quebec-engineering-or-a-joke-on-tourists/
Fri, 21 Jul 2006 16:20:30 +0000http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/21/quebec-engineering-or-a-joke-on-tourists/So I have noticed around Montréal many odd things when it comes to road design and signage. Firstly, whose idea was it to put so many left hand exit ramps on the highway system and why do they put the exit sign halfway down the ramp? I guess this is why we drive so crazily here. The three lane switchover is common because it is necessary! Why does the AUT 20 seem to magically reverse sides while traveling west of AUT 15? However the greatest question of all, located on the service road to the Met. How does one obey both the traffic light AND the obvious “No Stopping” sign? I guess you just take your chances!
]]>Flash! Bang! Boom! This is no Thunderhttp://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/20/flash-bang-boom-this-is-no-thunder/
Thu, 20 Jul 2006 14:51:09 +0000http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/20/flash-bang-boom-this-is-no-thunder/Last night while driving home I saw the dreaded sign “Tunnel Ville-Marie Ferme”…. This made me wonder, why do they close that highway so often? I cruised down Rene-Levesque and noticed many police and fire vehicles. All of this seemed out of place, by the time I got home it was clear to me that something was up. I had a d’oh! moment when the sky erupted into balls of fire and sound. What a great experience!! It turns out that my condo is nestled nicely in a position where I can see the entire fireworks show framed by the CBC on one side and an unnamed building on the other. I sure hope that they don’t go and build a new condo project in front of mine!
I understand now why they close the Cartier bridge but why do they close the tunnel?? Safety? Simplicity? Or is it just to make it harder to get home?! I guess it won’t matter because I’ll be firmly planted on my patio for the next rounds. The fireworks run each Wednesday and Saturday until the end of July.
]]>Attack of the Killer Sewer Grate!http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/17/attack-of-the-killer-sewer-grate/
http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/17/attack-of-the-killer-sewer-grate/#commentsMon, 17 Jul 2006 18:27:15 +0000http://montreal.metblogs.com/2006/07/17/attack-of-the-killer-sewer-grate/As a first post to the Montreal Metroblog system I thought I would jump right in and make a splash. Or at least a bang, because that is the sound heard by me on May 31st, 2006!! I was heading home on Viger St. during a torrential downpour. One not unlike that which closed the l’Acadie circle this spring. The rain was fierce but the road was clear ahead of me. Or so I thought, I was driving along towards Amerst St. when an awful BANG rocked my Jeep. At first I thought, “I didnt’ see a Honda Civic there?!” but alas it was no Honda. Instead what had happened was, as I passed over the sewer grate, a mad rush of water vapour and air created so much backpressure it blew the grate right into the undercarriage of my vehicle. The Jeep which stood so proud, was a shaken, beaten beast. The sewer hole that was now wide open sent a gutteral roar as it spewed water and air for 25 feet into the night sky.
I immediately called 911 to be told “Sir this is a city issue, we need to keep the line clear for REAL emergencies”. I told her that if they didn’t get someone to cover this hole, that a real one would not be far behind. I was able to limp my Jeep home (one block to go, thank Daimler for 4 wheel drive). The Jeep bucked and stalled, roared and ruffled itself into the parking area. I then grabbed my video camera and headed back to the scene. By now 4 of Montreal’s “Finest” appeared. They were eyeing the hole, and laughing out loud at the hilarity of it all. After explaining that it wasn’t only funny but majorly destructive, the laughter turned to dismay that they did not witness such follie! I asked for a badge number to file a police report, I was told that they were “Not interested”. The last laugh was with me however, watching 2 men and 2 women in great shape unable to lift the 200 lb sewer cover from the street. Maybe I should have offered my Jeep……..
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