Thursday, August 4, 2016

Bachelorette Recap : Week 10

Well folks, the week we have been waiting for has finally arrived. After spending almost a full 24 hours watching Jojo's journey to find love, it all ended this past Monday night. In another totally uneventful episode, Jojo decided between a former professional athlete in tight pants, and a formal professional athlete in tight pants. Let's recap it!

Side note: the producers chose to have the finale in Phucket, Thailand. Which is just hilarious.

Jordan is the first of the final two to meet Jojo's parents. He arrives and is greeted by her mom, dad, two brothers, and random sister that I didn't know existed until right this very second. At "dinner" (or whatever the meal they randomly sat down at the table for 10 seconds was), Jordan gifted the family with joke hats. It's actually pretty funny, but Jojo's family doesn't really know how to react. Mostly I'm laughing over when did Jordan have time to purchase these hats?!

The conversations with the family are more like grilling sessions. Jojo's mom practically yells at Jordan until he promises not to break her daughters heart. He stammers back, "I - I - I - Promise..." It's incredibly unconvincing. In his conversation with her dad, however, he tells Mr. Fletcher that he is ready to marry Jojo, but does not ask for his permission. This seems to be the inciting incident for the entire episode, because right after he leaves Jojo tells the camera, "I'm so excited because I know for a fact that Jordan asked my dad's permission to propose to me, that's very important to both of us, and I'm positive he did."

Robby meets the parents next, and is incredibly calm and secure. He seems to be everything that Jordan is not: the perfect gentleman. His conversations with the family are so boring. The only part worth noting is that he did ask both of Jojo's parents for their blessing, starting out by using Jojo's full name: Joelle Hannah Fletcher. Gag. But the parents say "Of course!" and tell Jojo that "with Robby, there are no red flags." Haha, okay.

After her family had met both suitors, Jojo and her family sit down to talk about the pros and cons of both men. Jojo expresses her feelings and admits that she loves both of them, and when she's with one she thinks of the other. Her family tells her that they all really really like Robby. Jordan is great too, but they really love Robby. Jojo, of course, rushes to Jordan's defense like she has done all season when the boys try and say something negative about him. Her dad then tells her that Robby asked permission, while Jordan did not. Jojo is visibly shaken up and confused by that.

Robby gets the first final date with Jojo. They go to the beach for a fun day swimming with monkeys! While most of the date is fairly uneventful, toward the end, Robby starts talking about how in just a few years (nine months from then, actually) they were going to be so in love with children running around, and will be so wrapped up in each other and the moment that the meatloaf will burn but it won't matter because they have each other and Sauvignon Blanc. Jojo is freaked out so her only response is, "Mom! The meatloaf!" and it's hilarious. The date ends with Robby saying that he's "blinded by love." I cringe!

Jordan is next up, and the two get on an old boat that takes them to a place where they can kayak into a cave. It looks pretty cool. Jordan reminisces over the fact that their first one-on-one date was on a boat, too! Awe. Almost immediately when they reach the shore of the cave, Jojo starts asking Jordan why he didn't ask her dad for permission. I suddenly begin to agree with Jordan: he doesn't know where Jojo stands, and he only wants to do it once. He's unsure of how she feels, but has told her exactly how he does. Plus, she has another freaking boyfriend! This conversation is repeated about 100 times before the screen finally fades to black.

The next day, the two pick out their potential engagement rings. Robby goes first and starts talking about how in love he is and blah blah blah it's so boring. He meets with Neil Lane and picks out a large, rectangle diamond. It's ugly. Jordan also goes to meet Neil Lane, but first makes an important phone call: he calls and asks Jojo's parent's permission to propose to their daughter. They happily say yes and he goes off to get the diamond. And diamond he does! He picks out literally the first ring he sees, and it's a beautiful diamond surrounded by other smaller diamonds. Good job, Jordan.

The next scenes are a montage of them all getting ready, and a wonderfully dramatic double voiceover of Jojo reading the letters they wrote to her. it's truly amazing and a great touch by ABC. Jojo starts sobbing over the fact that Robby's letter is sweet, but Jordan's is everything she needed to hear.

Suddenly we're on the beach in Phucket where Jojo is standing with the final rose, looking AMAZING. Seriously she looks amazing in this dress. The first car pulls up and my heart starts pounding! I don't know why but these final roses always make me second-hand nervous! The door opens and a bright navy pant leg steps out of the car. It's...

Robby.

As much as I dislike Robby, knowing that he's going to get his heart broken in a matter of minutes is painful to watch. He is going into this proposal with blind confidence, 100% positive that Jojo has picked him. After he goes down to the beach where she's waiting and spilling his heart to her, she stops him before getting down on one knee. She breaks up with him using the worst few lines ever: "Every day, I wanted it to be you!" and "I wanted to love you!" and "My heart is just with someone else!" It's horrible, and Jojo is crying more that Robby is. She's awkwardly still trying to hug him and touch him when she has just shattered his heart. It's hard to watch.

After he leaves, Jojo tells the camera, "The only thing getting me through how hard this is, is the thought of seeing Jordan. Let's go." and she walks off screen ready to get proposed to.

Jordan comes down the stairs and starts his spiel. Before he goes any further, Jojo asks if she can say something. I'm 100% positive he thinks she's about to break up with him. "Jordan, I love you so much. I've been waiting to tell you that for so long and I didn't want you to get down on one knee without you knowing that." Y'all, I literally started to smile so widely!! You can just SEE Jordan's face lights up as he gets down on one knee and proposes.

You can tell it's real because it's awkward and cute and full of nerves and excitement about spending hopefully forever together. They spend the rest of the episode telling each other how much they love the other and it's really cute.

I do have to say I was hoping for Robby instead of Jordan (although really I didn't like either of them) because I have a feeling he's going to break her heart in a few months. Of course I hope to be wrong, but I just get that vibe from him! Also I didn't like the rings either of them picked out, haha! Although I did like Robby's a little better because I like the more square cut diamonds. Oh well, I hope Luke is the next Bachelor!