Torah with Morrie #12: Making Meaningful Moments Last

How can we ever truly enjoy something when we know that all things will pass?

Ever encounter this rather depressing problem? Nothing ever lasts. We look forward to occasions and events, they come, we enjoy them, and then when they're over, we feel like they happened way too fast. Time moves quickly and we never can hold on to any experience, except in memories. Ask an older person how quickly life has flown by. And then when it's all over, when our memories of the past exceed our dreams for the future, we die.

Morrie Schwartz articulated a response to this problem:

"If you accept the fact that you can die at any time then you might not be as ambitious as you are? The things you spend so much time on -- all this work you do -- might not seem as important. You might have to make room for some more spiritual things." (Tuesdays with Morrie)

As has often been pointed out, no one ever lies on his death bed wishing he spent more time on the office.

But the problem is deeper than that. We may begin thinking: What is the point in my accomplishing anything if I know I can't hold on to it? Where's the pleasure and joy in such a life? How can we ever truly enjoy something when we know that all things will pass?

King Solomon was troubled with this dilemma:

"What benefit does man have from all his labor that he toils under the sun?... I hated life because I was depressed by all that happens under the sun; everything is futile and an aggravation of spirit. I hated all my achievements laboring under the sun, for I must leave it to the man who comes after me." (Ecclesiastes 1:3, 2:17-18)

Solomon describes these saddening feelings in great detail, until the penultimate verse where he provides a solution:

"The summation of the matter, when all has been considered, fear God and keep His commandments for that is all of man." (Ecclesiastes, 12:13)

How did Solomon address his monumental and existential quandary?

King Solomon is essentially saying that if we live our lives under the sun, if we focus only upon earthly and temporal pursuits, then life can indeed be disheartening, for time never stops and we can only leave our possessions and accomplishments to the men who come after us. But if we live our lives above the sun, if we transcend the earthliness of life and access spirituality, then our lives become timeless. We then make our meaningful moments last eternally.

How does this work?

We live within the passage of time. As we live, our moments are either temporally based, lived under the sun, or they are spiritually based, lived above the sun. Those moments which are temporally based indeed pass and are gone forever. But minutes which are spiritually based, with the fear of God and His commandments in our consciousness, as King Solomon described, are transported to an eternal place, to be experienced in their totality in the next world. There are no spiritual moments which die; they merely travel to the world of eternity and wait to be reunited with us in paradise.

When we perform a spiritual act, when we pray with feeling and concentration or we help someone with his packages, as examples, we may feel good about ourselves for a while but we don't nor can we enjoy the full expression and eternal power of what we accomplished. In the next world, we will experience just how special, meaningful and holy our actions were and we will enjoy this pleasure eternally.

Acts of physical pleasure can also become spiritual when we engage in them for the proper reasons. For example, if we enjoy our food with an appreciation of God, if we make blessings as we eat, these earthly actions become spiritual experiences. If we concentrate on our need to be healthy in order to serve God, as we lie in our beds trying to get some rest, sleeping itself becomes an otherworldly action. In this way, all of the material encounters life has to offer are transformed into holy acts. As Maimonides, all physical pleasures can be experienced for the sake of God:

"One's worldly pleasures should not be experienced with physical enjoyment as the goal; rather, the intent should be to serve God. . . even eating, drinking, walking, sitting, standing, conjugal relations, talking, and all physical needs should be done for the sake of Heaven." (Laws of Character, Chapter 3)

Life seen this way is one long path of attempting to create meaningful moments which really will last forever. The pleasures and experiences we have in this world revisit us in the next world but with their maximum powerful and spiritual effects.

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About the Author

Rabbi Boruch Leff is a vice-principal at Torah Institute in Baltimore. "Are You Growing?" (Feldheim), his just released book, is a must read if you want to grow spiritually. Click here for info on the book.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 5

(5)
Avi Tzur (Stone),
August 4, 2005 12:00 AM

good work

Great piece. Sanctifying our every-day physical actions is the essense of living in Israel, as opposed to the Desert where we were sustained on a daily basis from G-d without effort.

Tuesdays with Morrie, is a very inspiring book, I don't know why it wasn't part of our school reading curriculum.
Shabbat Shalom,
avi

(4)
esther chaya,
August 2, 2005 12:00 AM

Ok... I do understand everyone's qualm about looking forward to specific events or even to another day alive (and hopefully healthy).... but I do not believe the most important part about retaining special moments is about G-d and praying for everything. I think the simple idea that we are praying for everything makes us realize the smallest details that we should be thankful for; meaning, we pray before we eat a fruit, but then there's a different prayer for eating a piece of bread. In that sense, we are sincerely aware of what of are currently handling in life and because of that, we are remembering the smallest special moments. And maybe the ones who pray for every small thing (standing, eating, walking, etc. as mentioned in the article) are the ones who are the happiest in life - but I personally think it's because they are savoring every moment they live. In the end though, I am sorry to say but seeing how the article spoke about what people think about on their death be d, I do not believe that they will be thanking G-d for their prayers. Rather, I think they are thanking G-d they had the ability to realize how important each detail of their lives was. Awareness really is the key. I am a true believer that to be truly able to recognize and retain the small events, you have to "be" in the moment. Enjoy and absorb every part of life. Do not let things pass you by because you probably only get one crack at that special moment. That may just be my take on this though.

Esther Chaya

(3)
Anonymous,
August 1, 2005 12:00 AM

Rabbi Leff, but also Michal

We discussed that people enjoy going at high speeds because they are connecting to the timelessness of the Real World. So would pleasure activities such as those be considered meaningful ones? (They connect to l'maalah min hatevah, but still accomplish little in the Torah and mitzvah sense of the ideal.)

(2)
Bernice Scavron,
July 31, 2005 12:00 AM

excellent article

I am being treated for cancer and doing well. I thank G-d each day for the strength He has givem me to endure this your article (above is most inspirational.

(1)
Michal,
July 31, 2005 12:00 AM

enjoying everything with the appreciation of God?

Dear Rabbi Leff,
My husband, who died last year, died while windsurfing. That was pure joy of
life. Could he serve G-d by this? I would wish him so much, that he can take this joy with him. He had only
two things he really enjoyed during his
life. Being with me, his wife, and windsurfing. He was like many Isralis,
not religious. I am only half or "our
one soul". He gets half of my spiritual growth. I am glad about it.
But I wish him so much a little of the
joy of his surfing with the wind. Could not Hashem grant it to him, also
that was not at all useful. But every real deep joy comes from Him. Why can't his neshama take something of it
to heaven??? I wish him with all my heart, that it will be so.
Thank you so much for the article!
I know by experience how quickly life
can be over. And every happiness in this world too.
Shalom lecha!
Michal

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My Christian friends are always speaking about “faith.” To me this sounds a lot like blind faith. Is that really the essence of religion?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I'm afraid that this is another case of a Christian concept being mis-associated with Judaism.

Let's first define our terms. What is faith?

Webster defines faith as "Belief without proof."

What is knowledge? "An acquaintance with truth, facts or principles through study or investigation."

Faith is usually a product of desire. Have you ever gotten a tip on the market that guarantees you're going to triple your money in a month? A lot of smart people have gotten fleeced because they ignored the evidence and went with their feelings.

Knowledge, on the other hand, is based on evidence. We know there's a place called China because we have too many products in our house saying "made in China." There's a lot of evidence for the existence of China, even though most of us have never been there.

Judaism unequivocally comes down on the side of knowledge, not faith. In Deuteronomy 4:39, the Torah says: "You shall know this day, and understand it well in your heart, that the Almighty is God; in the heaven above and the earth below, there is none other." (This verse is also contained in the prayer, "Aleynu.")

This verse tells us that it is not enough to simply know in your head, intellectually, that God is the Controller of everything. You must know it in your heart! This knowledge is much more profound than an intellectual knowledge. God gave us a brain because he wants us to think rationally about the world, our role in it, and our relationship with God.

A conviction based on desire or feelings alone has no place in Judaism. The Hebrew word "emunah," which is often translated as faith, does not describe a conviction based on feelings or desire. It describes a conviction that is based on evidence.

Once this knowledge is internalized, it effects how a person lives. A person with this knowledge could transform every breathing moment into a mitzvah, for he would do everything for the sake of the heaven. But this is not a "knowledge," that comes easily. Only intensive Torah learning and doing mitzvahs can achieve this knowledge. Every word of Torah we learn moves us just a little bit closer to that goal. And everyone is capable of that.

To learn more, read "The Knowing Heart," by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (Feldheim.com). This entire book is an explanation of this verse!

In 350 BCE, the building of the second Holy Temple was completed in Jerusalem, as recorded in the biblical Book of Ezra (6:15). The re-building of the Temple had begun under Cyrus when the Persians first took over the Babylonian empire. The re-building was then interrupted for 18 years, and resumed with the blessing of Darius II, the Persian king whom is said to be the son of Esther. The Second Temple lacked much of the glory of the First Temple: There was no Ark of the Covenant, and the daily miracles and prophets were no longer part of the scenery. The Second Temple would stand for 420 years, before being destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE.

You shall know this day and consider it within your heart(Deuteronomy 4:39).

Business people who are involved in many transactions employ accountants to analyze their operations and to determine whether or not they are profitable. They may also seek the help of experts to determine which products are making money and which are losing. Such studies allow them to maximize their profits and minimize their losses. Without such data, they might be doing a great deal of business, but discover at the end of the year that their expenditures exceeded their earnings.

Sensible people give at least as much thought to the quality and achievement of their lives as they do to their businesses. Each asks himself, "Where am I going with my life? What am I doing that is of value? In what ways am I gaining and improving? And which practices should I increase, and which should I eliminate?"

Few people make such reckonings. Many of those that do, do so on their own, without consulting an expert's opinion. These same people would not think of being their own business analysts and accountants, and they readily pay large sums of money to engage highly qualified experts in these fields.

Jewish ethical works urge us to regularly undergo cheshbon hanefesh, a personal accounting. We would be foolish to approach this accounting of our very lives with any less seriousness than we do our business affairs. We should seek out the "spiritual C.P.A.s," those who have expertise in spiritual guidance, to help us in our analyses.

Today I shall...

look for competent guidance in doing a personal moral inventory and in planning my future.

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