Hey guys help me out here, since we are all in this endeavour together. What is the norm, are most of you commiting to marriage with your lady before meeting her for the first time? Or are some of you typically going to meet her & the family in person, getting engaged & then going back to China at a later time to actually get married? It just seems to me it is a tremondous risk to make that promise to her when you havn't met yet. Let's face it you can write letters & even talk on the phone until you're blue in the face but nothing replaces meeting her & getting to know her in a personal way. I am new at this so I am trying to learn from people who have more experience than I do. Any pearls of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much...

What is normal for one person may not be for another. I communicated with my wife for six months.Went to Chengdu for 4 weeks and the 2nd week we were married. Best thing I ever did. Now waiting for VISA to get her to USA. The wait is the hardest part for me.Maury

It depends on the individuals. I spoke to my intended every day on the telephone for amybe and hour or more for several months. We had many plans made. But within 10 days of having arrived in China we both realised that we were not really for each other. The chemistry between us was missing. We are now great friends. I decided to stay in China and I now live in Zhuhai with another lady that I met here and we have a great relationship. So be prepared for whatever life brings.