Cops take Charlie Sheen’s twin toddler sons away from him

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Just a couple of weeks ago, Brooke Mueller accepted ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s offer to buy her and their kids a home in his gated community. But Tuesday, she was granted a temporary restraining order against him and made a bid for custody of their twin toddler sons, Bob and Max.

“I am very concerned that [Sheen] is currently insane,” Brooke said in her filing, according to Radar Online. “I am in great fear that he will find me and attack me and I am in great fear for the children’s safety while in his care.”

She alleges that after taking the boys from her on Feb. 26, the “Two and a Half Men” star responded to her efforts to take them back by threatening, “I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom.”

Brooke also claims, according to People magazine, that in 2009, while they were married, Charlie “knocked me to the floor causing me to hit my head on the corner of a couch. I was knocked unconscious and required medical attention, including a CAT scan.” (The actor texted People in response: “Lies.”)

Cops came to collect the twins late Tuesday, Radar reports, and Charlie was cooperative, telling his sons, “I will see you very soon.”

OK, this is starting to be not funny anymore. (And yet we cannot turn away.)

Katie’s New Suit

Katie Holmes is suing the publishers of Star magazine for $50 million over a cover story that alleges she is addicted to drugs. The oft-litigated-against rag’s possibly libelous headline blared “Addiction Nightmare — Katie Drug Shocker! The real reason she can’t leave Tom.” (That would be hubby Cruise, in case you just arrived from Xenu’s home planet.)

The cover’s “vicious lies about plaintiff, designed to hype the sale of [a] sleazy tabloid magazine, were calculated to cause severe harm,” the actress’ legal team charges in documents. “The cover even created the false impression that, but for plaintiff’s nightmare drug addiction, she would ‘leave’ her husband.”

“We see these tabloids every week,” one of Katie’s lawyers says. “They’ve been attacking her and her husband for years now, and she finally said, ‘Enough is enough.’ … This is such an outrageous statement, this idea that this loving mother is on drugs, or suffering an addiction nightmare — there’s not a shred of truth to it.”

However, the actual story inside says merely that the former “Dawson’s Creek” star uses something called an “e-meter” in Scientology sessions, which contains “hormones that cause a pain-killing, mood-elevating effect.” Oh, and a source describes the feeling by saying, “Like a heroin addict, you want another dose.”

Sheesh, you could say that about a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s.

Wilde Time

Thanks to cell phone cameras, celebrities are at the mercy of amateur paparazzi 24/7. Olivia Wilde went on a date with Ryan Gosling in the most un-Ivy-like of locations — an aquarium in Kentucky, for crying out loud — and still the gossip blogs caught wind of it, thanks to a stealthy fan who filmed them.

The “House” star, recently separated after eight years of marriage, and the “Blue Valentine” actor were sighted walking hand in hand through the, er, romantic location.

Before that wild adventure, they shared a “a cute, friendly brunch” at a Mexican restaurant in Cincinnati, another spy told People.

Well, they might as well go ahead and make their red carpet debut together!