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Monday, May 11, 2015

A Mommy Boast Post with an attempt to not brag

I am going to try my best not to be "that mom" and be too boastful, but as a parent sometimes you just have to go out and brag on your kid. I honestly hate doing that because it makes me uncomfortable but I just can't help it this time. John and I have been very close-lipped about Sawyer's talents because it just sounds like bragging..."My kid is the best", "he does everything perfect," blah, blah. But I am learning that while our son may be advanced, it isn't as amazing as one might think. We have actually had to adjust our parenting skills and seek expert help to just make sure he is challenged in order to funnel his energy appropriately.

With that being said, I type this blog for two reason:
1. to hopefully provide tips to help other parents who have a gifted child and help them adjust and fit in.
2. to, well honestly, brag on our little guy about his recent accomplishment

I will start with the education portion of my blog

Sawyer has always been advanced verbally, communicating, and talking at a very early age. We thought this was so amazing but quickly started to realized those terrible two's and three's that parents talk about came much sooner for him due to his ability to understand and negotiate. His school also was having issues with him acting out unexpectedly in strange ways (throwing food or toys, running off, etc.). We met to discuss ideas and started working with his teachers to figure out a solution. We also worked closely with his Parents as Teachers rep for more suggestions.

What really helped us understand was when his school brought in an Inclusion Specialist from United 4 Children. She monitored him over a few
weeks and developed an Action Plan. It discussed his strengths, concerns, and
made suggestions on strategies for the classroom and home. She noticed like
most boys, Sawyer sometimes uses physical means to get his needs met. While he
is very verbal, he needs guidance to respond with words rather than what comes
naturally. He also tests boundaries and
craves them, but is also in need of control of his surroundings. She noticed he has frequent power struggles. She was so helpful and called and discussed every area of the action plan and what
she saw.

John and I have been incorporating her suggestions at home and have seen an improvement.
She recommended using misbehavior as an opportunity to teach alternatives and more
effective ways of responding and remain unemotional when dealing with a power
struggle. She said we should give two
positive choices for Sawyer to choose from within the limits that we need and
if he does not choose, we should have a backup plan (such as telling him we
will choose for him etc.) Redirect
behaviors rather than punish and give Sawyer the appropriate words to say when
dealing with conflicts.

This to me really hit home:

Challenging behaviors serve a purpose for the child. It is important that we realize that it is
not personal though at times it may feel personal! Our job is to state the behavior without
emotion and then help them take steps to rectify it. Once the incident is done it is important to
move forward, not bringing it back up again.

Bringing it back up only reaffirms the belief that…

1. The behavior was
not forgiven

2. That the behavior
has power

She sent some very helpful videos I wanted to share
in case another parent is encountering any of these problems at home.

Because of Sawyer’s need for new challenges, his school
contacted me last week about moving him to preschool early. Normally they move
them in the fall around the age of 4 so they are ready to move to PreK the fall
before they start kindergarten. Sawyer is now just 3 years 3 months. Of course,
we were 100% on board because we knew this would give him an opportunity to
flourish. Sawyer was probably the most excited and as soon as they told him, he
talked about it every day, sharing with everyone he saw. The Preschool class made him an adorable book
to prepare him for his first day, he read it all weekend (had it memorized
after the first night). They also made him a welcome sign on their door. On the
way to school today, he couldn’t stop talking about it and I could hear him in
the backseat, “I start preschool today”, “I am getting so big”, “Daddy is going
to pick me up and I am going to tell him all about my day in the preschool
room”. I wanted to cry it was so cute.

Today was his first day and his teacher planned to allow for
a couple hours in the preschool room and then send him back to his 2s room to
transition him but ended up keeping him all day because he loved it so
much. Miss Lindsey called me at the end of the day and said there was no way she was going to make him do the original transition plan because he told her, "I am not going back into the 2s room tomorrow." Because he did so well, we decided he is officially moved over. She said he was on "green" all day (based on their stoplight system of behavior) and was very well behaved.

I am so excited for him in this
new classroom, and I can’t believe he is getting so big. Not only will this
give him opportunity to grow but is a great way to transition him before his
little brother arrives this summer.

Here are some of the adorable pictures from
his first day. Thanks to his teachers Lindsey and Rachel for sending me updates and pictures to commemorate!