More from this Member

Take Two

Posted Nov 04 2009 10:02pm

So, I’m back after all – albeit with new digs. In my last entry (which seems like forever ago in my hormonal-fueled emotional state but was actually just over a week or so), I shared the news that I was shutting down the blog due to LG’s discomfort with the general concept of putting our (his) personal biz on the internet. All true, but the one detail not included in the first rendition is that the thing that sent him over the edge was the fact that I shared the original blog address with my sister. Now to me, what’s the big deal, because it wasn’t like she was going to read anything in the blog that we hadn’t already discussed ad nauseam, but to him it crossed the line as it removed any chance at complete anonymity.

After many tears (it was quite surprising to me how quickly I grew to need this avenue and this community as an outlet), recriminations, tense silences and whatnot, we finally got to a place that we could have a rational discussion about what each of us was feeling and needing in the situation. He needed to know that his need for privacy was being respected by not creating a written record on the wide world of Internets that could be linked back to our family, and I needed a place to write down my feelings about what we’re dealing with and get support from an amazing group of people who find themselves on the same unfortunate road but still travel it with grace, dignity, and kindness. So…

Patience Song is now officially May the Road Rise. It will still be a place where I share my thoughts, feelings, opinions and hopefully make some connections along the way, but it will not be shared with anyone IRL. The name change was part of our agreement. I’m actually saddened by that, because it took me a long time to come up with the original name, and once I did I instantly felt a strong connection to it, but such is life and the spirit of compromise. The new name comes from the traditional Irish blessing, and I am struck by the imagery of a (winding) road taking us to meet our children to be.

Now back to regularly scheduled programming…cycle updates.

I start stims tonight, and I am ready!! Being on Lupron for more than 3 weeks has taken its toll, and I’m looking forward to balancing things out a bit. Since I overstimmed last time and Dr. Yacht feels that may have impacted egg quality, we’re dialing it down a bit this go-around. Same medications, just lower dosages to start. No baseline this time due to the Lupron, so I go in for the first cam/vampire (i.e. Ultrasound & Bloodwork) treatment on Wednesday. Let’s do this!

So, I’m back after all – albeit with new digs. In my last entry (which seems like forever ago in my hormonal-fueled emotional state but was actually just over a week or so), I shared the news that I was shutting down the blog due to LG’s discomfort with the general concept of putting our (his) personal biz on the internet. All true, but the one detail not included in the first rendition is that the thing that sent him over the edge was the fact that I shared the original blog address with my sister. Now to me, what’s the big deal, because it wasn’t like she was going to read anything in the blog that we hadn’t already discussed ad nauseam, but to him it crossed the line as it removed any chance at complete anonymity.

After many tears (it was quite surprising to me how quickly I grew to need this avenue and this community as an outlet), recriminations, tense silences and whatnot, we finally got to a place that we could have a rational discussion about what each of us was feeling and needing in the situation. He needed to know that his need for privacy was being respected by not creating a written record on the wide world of Internets that could be linked back to our family, and I needed a place to write down my feelings about what we’re dealing with and get support from an amazing group of people who find themselves on the same unfortunate road but still travel it with grace, dignity, and kindness. So…

Patience Song is now officially May the Road Rise. It will still be a place where I share my thoughts, feelings, opinions and hopefully make some connections along the way, but it will not be shared with anyone IRL. The name change was part of our agreement. I’m actually saddened by that, because it took me a long time to come up with the original name, and once I did I instantly felt a strong connection to it, but such is life and the spirit of compromise. The new name comes from the traditional Irish blessing, and I am struck by the imagery of a (winding) road taking us to meet our children to be.

Now back to regularly scheduled programming…cycle updates.

I start stims tonight, and I am ready!! Being on Lupron for more than 3 weeks has taken its toll, and I’m looking forward to balancing things out a bit. Since I overstimmed last time and Dr. Yacht feels that may have impacted egg quality, we’re dialing it down a bit this go-around. Same medications, just lower dosages to start. No baseline this time due to the Lupron, so I go in for the first cam/vampire (i.e. Ultrasound & Bloodwork) treatment on Wednesday. Let’s do this!