Seen here moments before child services were called, two LEGO parents grossly neglect 22 of their 24 bundles of joy crying hysteria. And now custom LEGO printer Citizen Brick is selling the orphaned minifigs for a scant $1 apiece. But seriously, somebody should have told that guy to put a plastic cap on his nubbin. Wrap it up, bro -- your wife is FERTILE. Kidding, I have no clue where LEGO babies come from. But I suspect a dragon from one of the medieval castle sets brings them if you pray really hard and put enough little gold pieces of eight from one of the pirate sets under your pillow at night. "They had sex, GW." WHAT? Toys don't have sex! None of mine do anyways. Okay, except for the Ninja Turtles. And, if I get drunk enough, MAYBE the Jurassic Park playset. "Is that why you've been walking like a penguin all day?" I think a t-rex might've chased the Jeep into my keister!

Hit the jump for an assortment of some of the other custom-printed LEGO pieces Citizen Brick sells, including some zombie parts, some kinky shit, and a dude with a bong.

Thanks to cocoa, who tried to explain to me where babies come from and why it's important she take her little pill everyday so the stork doesn't come.