Whee, American Idol!

This was my one and only chance this season to watch it at home, meaning I not only got to host Girls Night on the sofa with Mom & the dog, I got to watch it all with the shiny HDTV (my own supposedly HD TV...is not actually so much with the high-definition clarity). Of course, this meant I had to put up with my brother's interruptions, but I also got to actually vote. Voting! I've missed pretending to make a difference!

Pre-show blather:1. Hey Ryan, you know how you're always (rightfully) telling Simon to button up...? Pot, kettle, etc. And it's really not a good look for you, dude - Simon can almost pull it off, but in the words of Mom, you look like an undersized rooster. Also, I thought I warned you about that faux-hawk thing last week. Stop doing it.

2. Paula's top was GORGEOUS tonight. Black and sparkly, oh so sparkly and catching every light in the building so that it seemed to shimmer with colors of its own. I was completely mesmerized by this shirt.

3. Simon felt a need to wink at Ryan at least twice before the first contestant came out.

4. The "Simon is sexy" sign was fun. Even better was Ryan's comment, "I see you've been holding sign-making classes at your house again."

5. I have to say that I am not even a little bit enthused by the extension of Beatles/Lennon/McCartney night, no matter how much I enjoy seeing additional footage of John Lennon (I only ever see him in little video clips, and I always crave more...the man was ridiculously attractive). And it seemed very weird that they had a video package as if we don't know who the band. Yes, what are these "BEETLES" of which you speak? *eye roll* Although, I don't know, some of the younger contestants worried me last week.

Amanda: "It's a lot better 'n the flatbed trucks I'm used to singing on!" Hah! She is so awesomely redneck. Mom continues to express shock over the fact that I like her, but as I keep trying to explain...what I like about Amanda is that her growly rocker performance doesn't extend to her actual personality. She comes across as very sweet and open the minute the song ends (although I stood up and cheered at her retort of "BALLADS are boring!"). And I don't understand why Simon keeps talking about her being boring for doing the same thing week after week. Duh? That's why I like her? How could you ever enjoy an artist if they were always changing up their style? I think there's some kind of irony in the fact that I didn't want two weeks of Beatles music, but...eh.

Oh, the song! Never heard it, but it was pretty entertaining. Good way to kick off the night.

Kristy Lee: Ah, my model girl. Gorgeous sheer/glossy black dress, not throwing back color like Paula's shirt but reflecting lots of light and shimmering all the same, and I liked the hairstyle - half pulled back, plus a swept-aside fringe, and loose curls all around (though the straightened hair in her video interview was really beautiful too). But - musical wallpaper?! Uh, Simon, you're gonna want to take that description over to Syesha or possibly David Archuleta, because they are routinely boring and forgettable. Mom kept complaining that her facial expressions didn't match the song, but I liked it pretty well. Not as much fun as last week (I loved last week. Stupid America.), but a solid showing.

David A: His ears are oversized. Have you noticed that? They're overlarge and they stick out from his head, and this is what I focus on when the music consistently bores me to tears. Just like Melinda Doolittle, I do not hear the OMG MAGIC quality of his voice. He just sings and is dull and nondescript. And should be sent home soon.

Blather: ...oh, ew. Do we really, really need to take a 1-minute break in the middle of the show for Ryan to pimp Apple products & Coke? Really? You don't think Idol advertises that crap enough on a daily basis? Okay, words cannot express how much I loathe Apple, and for the ten millionth time, no I will not buy your music off that horrid iTunes service! Other places, I would buy your music. I will not buy it in iTunes format. Not not not. And if you can't keep your Coke advertising to a passive state, then I will pledge allegiance to Pepsi instead of being ambivalent about my cola provider.

Michael: Check it out, dawg! I was really excited about this one because "A Day in the Life" is the first (and as it will turn out, only) one of these songs tonight I've not only heard before, but know and love. And I'm extra excited because I actually hate the original song - it infuriates me, because it starts off with a great melody and has verses that actually tell a compelling story, and just when I start to wonder why I don't play it more often...it devolves into NOISE. Screeching, scraping, ear-bleeding NOISE that swells and swells forever and won't shut UP, and it ruins the entire damn song because it's not even at the end - it's smack dab in the middle. I don't want to be sitting there constantly monitoring the volume button! I just want to hear the song!

Anyway. I gleefully figured that condensed into 2 minutes, AI would preserve the lyrics/melody without having time for the ear-bleeding noise. And I was right! Unfortunately, he only did one verse before jumping to the happy portion of the song, and that was just way too abrupt. And his voice cracked on one note, and he sounded raspy and dull and somewhat lifeless on the rest of it. It wasn't completely a mess, because the song choice saved it, but it wasn't nearly as great as I was hoping for. Sigh.

Brooke: ...the hell was she wearing? Bright yellow ruffles that look like some kid cut out a looping pattern from a strip of fabric and had them sewn together. ("Oh, I see. She's wearing the sun.") Well, that was decent; I've at least heard the song. I can't decide if I'm fond of it or not. Although it does remind me of one of the earlier Harry Potter stories I found, and therefore puts me in a Remus-y state of mind! *stealth pimps Here Comes the Sun* again) It sounded like she was singing to kids, but I guess it was OK.

What was NOT OK was her incessant need to justify all the judges' criticism. Oh my God, stop it! Stop with the blabbering! Just shut up and let them insult you! Ugh. I want to like her so badly; she's such a logical choice to be my favorite, and yet I cannot do it. I do not like her. Maybe I will start to like her again when all my second-string favorites get voted out just like my first string did and it's a choice between her and people like the Davids.

Porky Pig: You know, I didn't think anyone could out-gross Daughtry. And then along came dirty, grungy David Cook. Gross, gross, gross. STOP VOTING FOR HIM.

Blather: Simon literally just spit out his drink laughing at Paula's bad imitation of his accent. Hee!

Carly: PRETTY. Her babydoll dress was somewhat shapeless, and yet the red silk against her black hair, combined with the effect of her makeup - heavy and dark around her bright blue eyes, with a mixture of pinks and reds over her cheeks & lips - made her look beautiful. Now, if we could just cover up that damn tattoo with long sleeves, she'd be picture-perfect. But even aside from that...PRETTY SONG. I've never heard it before, but the melody from the first lyric, "Blackbird singing in the dead of night," hooked me in and made me fall in love. I never want to hear the original version of this song, but I do want to hear it covered by a pretty female singer, because it was clearly made to be sung by a solo female artist. I can imagine all kinds of fantastic arrangements, but meanwhile, this was the highlight of the night.

Jason: Yeah...Mom pretty much destroyed him for me by saying he reminded her of John Travolta. OH MY GOD, HE DOES. Apparently she only meant that when he sang this song, he reminded her of Travolta's character in Grease, but it's too late. Not even cutting off his dreadlocks could restore him in my eyes. THANKS, MOM. It could take me weeks to recover from that unpleasant realization. Aside from that, I was too focused on trying to translate the French lyrics to really pay attention to his performance. The only thing I noticed was that while his pronunciation was mostly decent, his "ma"s sounded distressingly like "my"s.

Syesha: LOVED her green dress - very African-inspired patterns. Looked good on her, in ways that her straightened hair did not. And while I generally say she's forgettable, this performance smashed it out of the park. Aside from that one unnecessary shriek of a note in the middle, the soft and subdued style worked miracles. I feel like I've heard "Yesterday" in some capacity before, probably at the end of a TV show or in a movie, but I don't actually...

...never mind, Wikipedia says that holds a Guinness World Record for most cover versions of a song EVER. So it's highly likely that I have heard it in some capacity.

Chikezie: ...that was like two different songs. One or the other might have worked, but having such an abrupt and out-of-place transition from soulful ballad to knee-slapping, yee-haw hoedown created random chaos.

Ramiele: I swear, one more utterance of that stupid phrase that sounds like "oh looooow," and I will END HER. And what was she wearing? Absolutely nothing matched or went together at all. It was like a 5-year-old who decided to pull out all their favorite articles of clothing & accessories and wear them on the same day. She made no impact with her song at all. Why, exactly, did she go last?

Voting: I sent a giant bucket of votes Kristy's Lee's way, terrified for her chances. I sent a slightly smaller bucket Amanda's way, also fearing for her chances but wanting to keep Kristy more. Carly and Jason got a handful apiece for doing well, but I figure they did so well and have such large fanbases that they're probably fine. I threw a couple Syesha's way as a special reward. And then I sat down for five solid minutes of dialing for Kristy Lee - got into a steady, clockwork routine. Click, redial, click. Wait 1, 2 - click, redial, click. Look, I REALLY WANT THE BEAUTY TO STAY.

Wishes: Get rid of Ramiele. Please get rid of Ramiele. She's just taking up space. Not very much space, I'll grant you, but oh she is such a waste of air time. I keep forgetting she's even in the group. Her presence seems completely irrelevant. Of course, if you want to change it up and unexpectedly dump Porky Pig, I would be all for that too. *double thumbs up*