Happy Valentine’s Day. It usually feels weird to say that to people with whom you are not in love. I mean, I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you. On Friday, I had a couple of students give me flowers and chocolates and one gave me a hug. I’m always uncomfortable with but flattered by such displays of affection from my “clients.” I’d rather talk about prepositions. Who wouldn’t?

This morning, I am delighted to have the day off. And I mean a real day off. Not an “oh my God, how bad is the substitute going to mess up my shit?” day off. I don’t have to work today. These two three-day weekends in a row are the reason Odie and I chose the dead of winter for our wedding. We had a weekend wedding, a whole seven-day honeymoon, but only missed 5 days of work. Every year, around the time of our anniversary, we get some extra long weekends to help us celebrate. Plus, we never have to celebrate Valentine’s Day because we celebrate our anniversary instead.

Sadly, this year, he had Friday off while I have Monday off. We each get one day alone though, and I think we both need it. I know I need it. Even as I sit here typing, I keep glancing at the video baby monitor out of habit. I think I’ll need another hour or so to believe that I can really just relax.

I dropped V off at preschool this morning a bit later than usual. She had a rough night of tossing and turning, so I let her sleep beyond her 6:00 wake-up time. Even though Odie had to go to work today, it’s a light duty day for him too, not having to get V dressed and fed while I shower and get ready. Extra nice for me not having to listen to “I don’t want it!” “But you asked for it!”

“I don’t want it!”

“If you don’t want it, then why did you ASK FOR IT?!” all through my shower. When I signed her in at school and put her lunch box in the fridge, I noticed the neat stacks of Valentine’s Day cards. Some of the other children’s mothers took some time this weekend to prepare little cards for the other kids in the class.

Aww, isn’t that just… RIDICULOUS?!

My first reaction is one of guilt and inadequacy. I am not that kind of mom. I don’t bake cookies, sew, or make handmade Valentine’s Day cards. I don’t even buy the ready-made ones. I don’t have a stash of glitter, construction paper, and paint pens for these occasions. I used a hot glue gun once. I was a bridesmaid three months after V’s birth, and I was asked to help assemble bouquets. This involved taking a bunch of flowers, wrapping them in ribbon, and hot gluing the ribbon closed, ideally without leaving a big, obvious dripping blob of glue visible. How did I do? They don’t call it a “hot” “glue” gun for nothing. That shit is scalding and sticky. I’m glad there were more skilled disciples of Martha Stewart than I to assist the bride with these tasks. I’m also glad there were ice buckets nearby to chill the champagne and numb my second degree burns.

I don’t get excited around holidays as some do because of the crafty possibilities they bring. Unless it’s a work holiday, there’s nothing to be excited about, as far as I’m concerned. All my life I’ve felt less-than the women who throw together themed cocktail parties and hand-address nifty little cards. Now that I’m approaching 40, I think it’s time to just accept that I’m not one of them. Will the other moms at preschool point me out to each other and whisper, “There’s the one who didn’t make any cards for Valentine’s Day”? Probably not. When V is older, if she wants to hand out valentines to her classmates, I will do everything I can to assist. But she isn’t even two yet. The only real reason to hand out Valentine’s Day cards when your child is under two is to impress the other mommies with how crafty and together you are. Congratulations, other mommies. I am suitably impressed by your crafty togetherness. You win this month’s Kelle Hampton Award for Making Useless Shit to Clutter up Other People’s Houses. The landfill will be that much prettier.

So, on to my day off. I see a bubble bath, some trashy TV, and leftover birthday cake from Grandma’s celebration in my future. To all of you marrieds and coupled readers, I wish you a day full of remembering why you love the one you’re with. To my single friends, I wish you a day full of not having douchebags make you feel like there’s anything wrong with being single. And I’ll race you to the grocery store for half-priced chocolate tomorrow, which we can agree is the very best part of Valentine’s Day, after all.

What’s the difference? I mean, truly? It is “pre” school. The kids are learning colors, numbers, the alphabet, and socialization skills. On the flip side, sometimes I wonder why people call high school “high school.” It’s day care.

Good one, MrsOdie2.
The elem school is daycare for many parents too. In January the schools here were closed for a week due to snow and ice. The next week EVERY kid was back. In fact, the parents peeled rubber leaving the school lot bright and early.
But on to the Valentines…..yes that is crazy. I remember when my kids were younger they did the little paper valentines. Now apparently they have to have candy attached to each one. My 4th grader didn’t feel like doing any so I didn’t push it. In Hubs’s classroom he has told the kids there is no more paper. They need lined paper and pencils. he told the parents. Oh, but nearly every kid had valentines to pass out, and they expected a party…..

Oh my goodness, bubble bath and trashy TV sounds SO good right now. I just spent 2 hours writing a paper on Our Bodies, Ourselves. Its raining really sporadically and all I want to do is curl up with chocolate and an episode of the Jersey Shore. I know, I know, even you have standards when it comes to trashy TV but Jersey Shore is just too much of a hot mess.
As far as those picture perfect mommies, screw em’. I went to a private preschool in one of the richest suburbs of LA. My classmates were the children of screen writers and record execs but my mom STILL let me dress myself in whatever ridiculous costume I felt like wearing. Valentines day cards are exactly that, clutter. However, I loved the line about the pretty landfill. I might have to go repeat that to my housemate who spammed my LIFE with Winney the Pooh cut out cards this morning. Ugh…..

There is no difference, I always knew pre-school as pre-school. Even the term daycare is outdated, I know alot of people who now call it “creche”, probably because it sounds French and fancy. Pah. It’s pre-school!

Don’t feel bad about your lack of craftiness. I have always felt crafts with/for babies and children that are too small to actually do them are done more to stroke the ego of the mother in question. See also: Nella’s birthday party.

I noticed something on KH’s Valentine’s post and I was curious to know if you have ever noticed the same thing – She often photographs her kids riding in a cheap pink umbrella stroller (what an everywoman!!) but every once in a while her uber expensive Bugaboo stroller will sneak into the picture in the same outing. It happened again in the zoo/Valentine’s post today. Oops!

Came across your blog tonight when I googled Kelle Hampton Bloom. Don’t hate me cause I’m a Kelle fan! I read your post- bitches I hate, and loved it! How is that possible? I mean I like Kelle’s blog and find yours wonderfully entertaining. I’m hooked…