I was going through my saved messages in my cellphone when I chanced upon a couple of messages when I was pretty down a couple of weeks back. You see, when I get really depressed or get stuck in traffic or have a sudden burst of inspiration I “write” on my cellphone like mad lest the thoughts go away and I will no longer be able to conjure it back.

So here they are. A warning though. These thoughts are a little bit dramatic, even for my taste, so bear with me or close this window. asap.

August 8, 2008
10:15:59 PM
My life is in shambles. There are not enough challenging tasks at work which was precisely the reason why I resigned my previous company. An officemate, whose workstation is right beside me, has an attitude problem and acts like a nincompoop at times. My father will undergo surgery in a week to removes tones from his gall bladder. My mother forgets or simply ignores my simplest instructions. Most of the people I know have successful careers, gotten married, built a family, visited countries and places I only saw in movies or read in books/magazines. Me? Still stuck in the islands. Broke. Broken. Alone.

August 8, 2008
10:25:18 PM
Rage. I feel the anger slowly building inside me, slowly findings its way out. I feel I’m losing control and I’ll just snap. This is not a phase. This has gone way too long. Why has fate brought me to this? Is there, as they, say a light at the end of the tunnel? From where I’m at now, I only see a glimmer of light in the horizon and when I slowly walk towards the beacon it seemingly goes farther away, out of my reach.