Wednesday: left early with Pat...yay!...haha i never see him during school or during the week so i was glad i got to hang out with him. We spent the whole day together i think i went home for like 20 minutes tops then went back to his house.We spent the whole day laying around watching movies makin fun of eachother and stuff it was fun..i love being around him im so hyper/mellow its greeat.Thursday: no school so a great start. i ended up waking up at 6:40 tho cus i thought i had to get up...dumb me..then i had to go to work at 4 so i didnt really do anything cept be lazy...i called zack tho...he hasn't called me back... :-/ ...i think he is still trying to get away from me or something...Friday/Today:Woke up went to school...blah...then u left 8th a lil early Katie and Justyne came and picked me up they both went home sick...poor things...lol and then we dropped off some people while Justy almost killed me cus i was sittin in the "trunk" haha it was great! Then we went back to Justy's she called her bf and i went to Pats house for a bit he tackled me and prented to fall asleep so " he wouldn't have to go to work"...didn't work Chris and i were outside waiting for him haha it was funny...our conversation...good times...then went back to justy's went to McDonalds w/ kt justy and jennifer came back and Paul ANdy and Chris were there...cool kids haha...hung out with them for awhile then chris drove kt and i home

now im waiting for pat to get off work so i can talk to him before i leave for VA...got to run...Later

BTW- most important fact about this week....ALLEY NEEDS TO COME HOME OR IM GUNNA CRY! I LOVE HER AND I MISS HER! COME BACK ALLEY BO BALLEY!

Wow it's been awhile...let's see i don't really have much time for this anymore...i mean i do but its hard and everything...alot has happened but honestly i dont fell like going into detail...i got a job..yay..school is gay..people are fake..i miss alley...i want her to come home!...i miss having a thorney rose to hold onto..only you understand..

Yeah see nothing to big...Pat is there for me still...Marie is still here for me..Alley i love you...if you were here things would be different..

I miss camp...i want to go back..and i want to stay there..i'd bring the people i care about alot from home and the people who were there this summer i want them there and i'd live there...peacefully..

Mabe then i could actually see whats up with me and zack...all of a sudden its like im nothing...i went from talking to him everyday to nothing...no time..no feeling..no nothing...i just want to be like..." why?! wwhat did i do wrong?!"

I miss alot of things and i just want to get rid of alot of things i want to get away i want to the things i want to when i want to and how i want to no more of this stupid school stuff...

Please tell me people are going?! I really want to see you guys if you are! so hopefully i can go!!! Today has been a verry verry good day. Let's see katie first of all freaked me out saying Pat's dad was on the phone (my cell) so i thought something bad had happened to pat...i was about to cry...not really but i was scared and then he ended up asking me if i wanted to go to Chicago with them and Victoria Chris's girlfriend, i called my dad and of course he said no..hmph..then he asked me if around christmas time i wanted to go to New York with them...i'm going to go to that no matter what. Then i went out to go see my mom she bought my and Katie coffee and then went job searching i think i got it too hehe! It's at riccutis..(thanks marie for the spelling haha) i applied other places but yeah i want to work there as a hostess. And i finished all my summer stuff and school starts in four days. well got to go later-

Zack's coming over today......and pat is actually home now...kinda suprising because at first he wasnt suppose to be home til the 29th then he said he'd be home tonight then he ended up trying to trick me going over to his house to chilll with his mom like we had joked about and he was going to answer the door suprising me...really cute but didn't work hmph so now i have to wait to see pat til tomorrow cause he is working today, that's alright i've already got plans. he is coming around one so i have that to look forward to.

alright so emily and alley said i should make one of thses cause xanga's are silly..hmm what to say what to say...thursday i hopefully get to see my lover...ALLEY!... and Taylor and Zack...that should be an awesome day three of my most favorite people. I wish i could see them more and i wish i coudl see josh and emily and ren but.. :-/ hmm i dunno.This whole thing with zack and pat just keeps on getting more and more confusing..i need more time to think but i know theres a limit...