Thursday, January 27, 2011

After every bridge I've been over, I went back and burned it. No going back for me.

Have you ever thought about life?About how incredibly amazing it is to be alive?How incredibly amazing it is that you're ALIVE and that you're LIVING and you were given LIFE?and even though it's designed to be hard, it's still YOURS?well these feelings hit me every now and then.Like today when I was walking up the steps of my studio [after dropping after my dance bag] with my pointe shoes in one hand and my technique shoes in the other hand and I had just left the room where a bunch of mom's were sitting on the couch watching their little tykes do karate in the other room and I wondered if I was real to them....that was a long sentence....Which was when I thought about being real to anyone else. I mean first of all, the people I do sorta know. Like we say hi in the hallways but they don't know much of my life. Do they think of me having a life? Having emotions? Crying?And what about the people I don't know at all? I'm naturally a people watcher, so I wonder about people's lives. Do other people watchers wonder about mine when they see me? What do they think my life consists of? How much can they tell from my face, the way I walk, the way I smile, when I smile, when I frown, where I look and how I dress?then I wondered how often I'm right about other people's lives. I didn't spend too long on this thought.Somehow all this thinking led me to my own life. How much do I actually know of my life? I know my side of things, but what do other people think when I send them a text or say hi? What are they thinking when they see my face? Why do they say what they say? What do they not say purposefully?How often do they not say something purposefully?did that make any sense?

or am I just crazy?ah well, all the best people are, i suppose--love, starfish.