I’m Pretty Sure Jacques Martin Would Say This

If I were to overhear an in-depth interview with new Canadiens’ coach Jacques Martin, this is what I might hear:

“I like walks in the park, chinese food, children, animals, flowers, sitting on the porch on rainy days, picnics with my family, and beating the ever-loving shit out of the Boston Bruins.”

“I love music, poetry, the smell of bacon on a Sunday morning, going for walks in the forest, quiet moments with my wife, and beating the ever-loving shit out of the Boston Bruins.”

“I always wanted to coach the Canadiens. Even when I was in Ottawa, I was jealous of whoever was coaching there. I feel like Dick Irvin and Toe Blake are family. It’ll be the proudest moment of my life when I step behind the bench for the first time. And I can hardly wait to beat the ever-loving shit out of the Boston Bruins.”

“I really like Dennis Kane’s blog. I want my daughter to bear his children. I don’t care that he’s older than me. And did I mention beating the ever-loving shit out of the Boston Bruins?”