So it’s now less than 30 days until my wedding. And we’re probably not going to meet the minimum required person count. Granted, this doesn’t mean that it won’t be happening. It just means that 1) I have to pay for the meals anyway. 2) Quite a few people backed out. 3) This is going to be smaller than I wanted.

I try to keep telling myself to not take it personally... but you know how that goes. I guess this is what I get for losing touch with some people and keeping a small friend group. And marrying someone who was only in the area for a year and doesn’t have any long-term friends here. And doing it across the country from where his family is because I couldn’t figure out how to get to my own wedding on-time if I held it in another state.

I’m just frustrated and .... sad? It’s also amusing that some of the people most excited about going to the wedding are the guys I have known for 2 months and spent every day in class with. You know how you feel like you’re going to throw a party, get really excited about it and no one will show up? That’s a fear that most people have, I’d assume. But this has literally happened to me before, when I was somewhere around 11-13. Threw a birthday party at a skating rink, only 1 person showed up. I feel like this is turning out to be the same thing. I know that I will love all the people there, but I also know the room is going to feel empty with just like 35-40 people in it. I expected 50-60.