Tories and Labour launch military action aginst Lib Dems

In a rare show of pre-election unity, Conservative and Labour leaders have united to condemn the 'dangerous' Liberal Democrats and back immediate military action. Eyewitness reports of loaded warplanes taking off have been received since the early hours of this morning, and it is believed that the party has suffered significant setbacks in the initial wave of airstrikes.

'We simply cannot allow the evil terrorist Nick Clegg to hold the country to ransom with his yellow tie, winning smile and dangerously reaonable arguments,' said Gordon Brown. David Cameron backed the action, saying the recent action has made airstrikes against Lib Dem targets 'inevitable', and that he regrets any consequential loss of innocent Tory life.