Chuck bids us a fond farewell before eating, like, 50 sandwiches, you guys

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, January 27, and Saturday, January 28. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICKChuck (NBC, 8 p.m., Friday): So it’s the end of the road for the plucky little show that somehow made it five—five!—seasons, largely because its fan base was the craziest on the Internet and really liked sandwiches. But it all ends tonight, with the final two episodes airing over two hours. (We know the show is canceled and the sets are torn down, but would anybody really be surprised if NBC renewed it for a three-episode season six or something? Just to screw with everybody?) Anyway, Ryan McGee will be with you in this vigil, Chuck fans.

Fringe (Fox, 9 p.m., Friday): Noel Murray should be back to cover this tale of Olivia receiving a cryptic warning from the Observers. Honestly, do the Observers do anything that’s not cryptic? They order pizza using the Periodic Table of Elements!

Portlandia (IFC, 10 p.m., Friday): This one’s called “Grover,” and we’re disappointed it doesn’t, apparently, star the Muppet in a pivotal role, in which he delivers a heart-rending monologue. Christian Williams woulda gone A+ if he had.

Spartacus: Vengeance (Starz, 10 p.m., Friday): That show you assume is all about boobs and stuff is back, and while it kind of is, it’s also got some really cool narrative momentum to write home about. Ryan McGee lets you know how it all begins again.

The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret (IFC, 10:30 p.m., Friday): Todd gets involved in a bachelorette party in an episode that suggests everything is hurtling to the end, doesn’t it? Kevin McFarland once entertained at such a soiree.

TV CLUB CLASSICVeronica Mars (11 a.m., Friday): The end of season two is nigh, as Rowan Kaiser works through the next-to-last and third-from-last episodes. Hopefully, he didn’t watch them in that order, as we suspect that would have been pretty confusing.

The Adventures Of Pete & Pete (3 p.m., Friday): Aw, it’s time for “Farewell, My Little Viking” already? We’re preemptively sniffling over here, and we hope Marah Eakin makes time for plenty of blubbering in next week’s review of part two.

The Twilight Zone (1 p.m., Saturday): TV’s Zack Handlen comes to the end of season one, with what might have been the best season finale Rod Serling ever wrote, even if the concept of “season finale” hadn’t really evolved at that point.

WHAT ELSE IS ON?Kitchen Nightmares (Fox, 8 p.m., Friday): This show’s ratings aren’t bad for a show on Fridays, but it still baffles us that it remains on the air. Does Gordon Ramsay possess some sort of horrifying JPEG of Fox president Kevin Reilly?

Great Performances (PBS, 9 p.m., Friday): Been wondering what’s up with Tony Bennett’s latest Duets album? No? Well, even if you haven’t been, this 90-minute thing about how it was made isn’t too bad and is worth a look if you’re interested.

The Life And Times Of Tim(HBO, 9 p.m., Friday): Listen, all of you who keep asking, “But what about The Life And Times Of Tim?” every time we do one of these. Yes. We know it exists. We know it’s good. A new episode is on tonight! Happy?!

Bering Sea Gold (Discovery, 10 p.m., Friday): Phil Nugent checks out the latest Discovery Channel show about people in Alaska, which is all about how there’s gold in that thar Bering Sea. We hope everybody mining for it has a long, white beard.

The Pregnancy Project (Lifetime, 8 p.m., Saturday): Alexa Vega stars in a Lifetime movie about that girl who pretended to be pregnant for school or something like that. All you will think is, “The girl from Spy Kids is old enough to have a kid?!”

Ultimate Factories (National Geographic, 8 p.m., Saturday): Tonight’s episode of this show takes people inside the Frito-Lay factory, and you don’t even need a Golden Ticket! Todd VanDerWerff hopes he’ll win the competition to own the place.

Tekken (G4, 8 p.m., Friday): Wait. They made a movie out of fuckin’ Tekken?!

The Nutty Professor (MoMax, 9 p.m., Friday): There were a few days back in 1996 when it seemed like putting Eddie Murphy in a fat suit and assorted makeup disguises would rejuvenate his career. Oh, if only we had known back then!

Forrest Gump (TNT, 8 p.m., Saturday): We walked out of this film and said, unironically, “Oscars all around!” To be fair, we were 14, and we were pretty moved by the whole thing. If only we could take back our horrible prophecy now!

NBA Basketball: Knicks at Heat (ESPN, 8 p.m., Friday): Is it just us, or do the Knicks always kind of suck more than they should? Like… they could be the worst team in basketball, and they’d still seem a bit worse than they actually should be.

UFC: Evans vs. Davis: From Chicago/Figure Skating: U.S. Championships (Fox, 8 p.m./NBC, 9 p.m., Saturday): If you’d really like to feel disoriented this evening, just rapidly flip between these two programs while they share the 9 p.m. hour.

IN CASE YOU MISSED ITArcher (Thursday): Archer, Lana, and Cyril head into the jungle on a mission, while Malory makes everybody at the ISIS offices take a drug test… that Krieger has the means to defeat. Todd VanDerWerff thinks that sounds like a good one. He’s right!