Have you ever thought about what you would do five years down the line? Or did you have any new year resolutions? And what happened to your gym membership? Did you finish the online course you enrolled in on coursera? What about your GMAT preparation?

No? Or may be yes.

We all set goals. But hardly find the right time and energy to fulfill them in proposed duration and expected performance. Think about it. You need to set goals in a more proper way in order to accomplish them. To accomplish your goals, however, you need to know how to set them. You can’t simply say, “I want” and expect it to happen. Goal setting is a process that starts with careful consideration of what you want to achieve, and ends with a lot of hard work to actually do it.

I present you the 3 Golden rules of effective goal setting:

Find your motivation

When you set goals for yourself, make sure motivate you and there is value in achieving them. If you have great interest in the outcome, then you’ll work hard to make them happen. Motivation is key to achieving goals.

You should set goals that relate to the high priorities in your life. You need focus and only few goals with enough time to devote to each one. You must have an “I must do this” attitude. When you have this, you do anything to make the goal a reality.

Set SMART Goals

Goals must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound

You must clearly define your goals. Don’t just say be a good basketball player. Design a plan for this involving the training and activities you will be involved in throughout that month.

Set goals, which you can measure like complete 5 chapters in one week. Don’t just target Study chemistry. Have a number in mind.

Make sure it is possible for you to accomplish the goal. Don’t set impossible targets. Like lose 10 pounds in a week. C’mon don’t be silly.

Set goals relevant to you, your career, your personality. Goals must have a direction. Meaningless goals take you no where but keeps you wasting time.

Always target goals with a time frame. Read 2 novels per month, or read newspaper every morning. Don’t just vaguely say you want to improve your reading skills.

Track progress

What is important to goal accomplishment is you should be able to track your goals.

Every night, before sleeping, you should think about what you did today and what do you have to complete by tomorrow. This will increase your productivity by 10x.

Also, if the time period of your goal is an year, divide it into sprints. Each month track overall progress and note it down on a paper and stick on your table/cupboard. This will give a larger picture of you attaining the goal in right time. And this will further motivate you.

Pro Tip:

Last but not the least, you must celebrate your progress. Don’t take it as an arduous climb, but as fun journey full of learning and experience. This is really important for future goals. And helps you not flip back and lose all your progress. For example, consider you were 200 pounds. You did weight training and strictly followed a diet for an year and lost 50 pounds. But inside you are sad, frustrated, so one day when you are feeling real low, you end up eating so much that from that day on wards you give up.

You don’t want that, do you? So you must have cheat meals once every month. Similarly, you must celebrate your progress in some way to be successful in big picture.

Wish you all the best, go ahead and seize the day!

P.S. I am there to talk if you want to discuss anything. Feel free to drop a mail at garimagupta76@gmail.com

They say all what matters in life is happiness. You need not worry too much about the future and live in the present and be happy instead.

Happy Happy Happy. It is easy to say than to be in reality. So what is happiness?

The oxford dictionary says Happiness is the feeling you have when things give you pleasure and can be quite a lively feeling; contentment is a quieter feeling that you get when you have learned to find pleasure in things.

In philosophy,happiness is translated from the Greek concept of eudaimonia, and refers to the good life, or flourishing, as opposed to an emotion.

In psychology, happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may reflect judgements by a person about their overall well-being.

Wikipedia says, since the 1960s, happiness research has been conducted in a wide variety of scientific disciplines, including gerontology, social psychology, clinical and medical research and happiness economics.

I didn’t know that happiness was a matter of research in itself which is being studied for ages.

Now, it means, each day every human is striving towards a happier life. This actually creates a scenario where the person is not content with the present life and hoping for a better future and telling himself that “I am fine, I am okay, I am happy.”

Life is not just about being happy. Life is about learning, about being agile. World is changing everyday and one needs to adapt to it. And not being concerned about being happy, and not thinking too much but being focused towards goals and responsibilities is what life is about.

Say I love cooking. I have a family of 4. I have a job. I cook everyday for my husband, my kids and me. And I feel it like a job. What if I start enjoying it and start preparing meals with more happiness. But does it matter, will the food taste better if I cook it being happy or I cook being normal like I am doing my job. That’s a mystery to me.

If you’ll look for happiness, you’ll end being sadder instead. Because now you’ll focus on things which make you happy and if you don’t get that thing or fail at it, you’ll be sad. So why not just focus on life than looking forward being happy everyday.

I understand, it is very challenging. Everybody is looking for a better tomorrow. I think the best way is not to push yourself hard and not link your happiness with things or people. You have one life. I think laughter is the best solution. You may not be happy, you had a bad day, but you can always read a comic book or watch a comedy movie and feel good. Yes, feeling good should be the goal is life than being just happy.

I asked mom, “Are you happy?” She went into a deep thought and said she’s fine, she’s okay, she’s happy. And that one question I asked her triggered gloom and her entire life flash backed in front of her, where she compared reality with her hopes and dreams. And she must have felt a little less. This is the same question we ask ourselves everyday and end up being trapped in emotional stress of not accomplishing dreams.

It’s the want of happiness, which causes pain. The desire which never ends. God created happiness I think to create sadness. The trick is to feel good instead.

A couple of days later I asked my mom, “Are you good?” She said oh yes I am. And yes is good actually. So goodness is the key. Not thinking much, and focusing on whatever is going on, whatever is best for the body, mind and soul.

One of my juniors from college called me today to ask about how he should make his resume. Abhishek is two years younger to me. We are from the same school. Now he is my college. He is a bright student, but very lazy. He is in his third year of bachelors in engineering and it’s time he should be prepared with his CV or resume for applying for the summer internships. However he has no idea about it.

I said, don’t worry, I’ll help you. He asked if I could show him my resume so he could make it accordingly. I said, “No, first you have to give it a try yourself. However I will tell you the basic things you need to keep in mind. Your resume will be in sections as follows:

Always start with your name and contact details

Then educational qualifications including your school, high school and college in a chronological order, that means the most recent qualification comes first

Now comes the internships, mention each with your role, company’s name, time period, followed by responsibilities and skills acquired

Now the section for academic projects and achievements

This will follow your extra curricular activities and achievements

Lastly include your hobbies and interests

Abhishek, don’t forget to add proper formatting to your resume. For the start, you could take the sample resume format Microsoft Word offers or create your own. It should go in an order and proper format”

He said it was a lot. So I gave him a day to come up with something. Then we could move on.

I am keeping in mind that his resume should be ready in a week. I am not revealing all the details and secrets to him at once because I want him to actually work on this and understand how resume building is an art, neither a cakewalk nor a mountain climb.

So this a 7 day challenge for us. I will share the progress each day with you guys. Lets see how it goes, it better not be a boring task. He doesn’t know about this blog post, haha!

If you have anything in mind, any suggestions, you can share. Thank you for reading.

I messaged one of my best friends on WhatsApp, Hey! Good morning… How are you.. And then she says she’s fine but couldn’t sleep well last night because of an urgent project delivery. Then I speak about how I woke up late, missed gym and skipped breakfast. We rant about how boring, hectic, and difficult our lives are.

Then our conversation takes a positive turn when we hope that everything will be alright, let’s just work hard and meet someday on weekend. And said goodbye.

But deep inside we both are really sad. We are waiting for something extraordinary happen to our lives.

Why are we sad, there’s no specific reason.. Just a perpetual gloom.

I realise, it’s just our attitude which makes us feel so. It’s our mind which is over thinking, nothing else. Our life is one of the most fortunate ones.

We have a mother who gets up before us every day, prepares food and leaves for work.

We have a father who is often working off station but never misses a day when he asks if we reached home safe.

We have our grandparents who love us unconditionally.

We have loving siblings, cousins, and friends who make our life worth living.

We have good health, sound body.

We have been well educated.

We have a stable job.

We live in a good city, with all facilities.

We are just 22. We are young and yet to discover many opportunities waiting for us.

We have time, energy and freedom.

You might also have a special someone who cares a little extra for you 😛 If you don’t, you’ll find one day.

Ah, I think, I could go on and on. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve got everything.

Now, I was in metro train, going to office in the morning. I saw a woman, in late 20s. She had only two fingers in her each hand and feet. And still she was happy. It seemed like she was going to office too. And this gave me all courage to write this article and remember this day forever.

It is true. Our generation is blessed with all conveniences. Our parents and grandparents worked through hardships back then. To us, everything is available so easily.

All we need to do is focus and be determined for our goal.

Now I promise, everyday I will thank God for this beautiful life and my family. You should too.

Don’t be sad unnecessarily. Be happy. Be normal. Be motivated. Life will come to you on its own.

I will share following mantra:

Don’t think about negatives, only positives

Be thankful for everything

Utilise your time, never stop learning

Value people in your life, you don’t know when one leaves

Trust God, trust yourself

Have patience and work for the best

Your life is already good. You are alive. You are blessed. Have a great day sunshine!

When you help them build stairs to the moon, And you think you all are going together and reach up soon.But you forget one important thing, The wooden staircase could take only one person at a time.

So they climb up, leaving you behind.

You thought we’ll all stand together, once we reach.But a lesson did they teach?

But momma said always help people, be kind and generous,Don’t say I, but worry about the ‘Us’.But momma didn’t know that people no longer care,They get what what they want, and do not do fair.They forget your help or the days they needed you,The one who made the stairs and was left behind by you.

I laugh in despair, that momma when they had reached up,At least they didn’t break the stairs,I should have believed they never cared.

But momma you never told me that I had to be little selfish,All I did was share and share until things got finished.

I should have kept some things for myself in this world,Days after days things got more swirled.I got infuriated by all this muddle,I was left alone, with no one to cuddle.

I cried, I shouted, I screamed.For God, what bad have I done,that I could not get to my dream.

I vowed to not help people anymore,Not be kind or generous, or helping a sore.I saw the world through a broken glass,I was drawing myself away from the mean class.

But deep in my heart, I believed,That the one who’s the strongest, and kindest,Then success, happiness all you achieve!I knew how to build those stairs, so I did it again,I learnt from experience, I grew from that pain.

I reached even higher than they can imagine ever,And they were back in news telling me clever.Oh fools, I thought, what have you done,You never knew there’s a difference between a planet and the sun!

But one thing all we must learn from now,Look for real people, because it’s a fake town.Share only with those who’re worthy of that gift,The people, who are there and never split.

And you need to give yourself, is your help first,So that you climb up the moon, with the stairs you trust.

Be kind, sincere and fearless,Because you’re special, and you’re no less!

Hey guys, I’ve written this poem on my personal experience, it’s straight from the heart, and it’s my present story, if you liked it,share and help spread the word, thanks!

Why are you allowing to wither in your self? Do you still have those bits and pieces of who you were? I believe, they are yours.

Because you let fairy tales; you grew up reading in books, to be true. The whole point of being with someone is so you can talk your heart out with them, without feeling being judged, who smiles at your best and stays with you at your worst.

But may be you’re too late. You no more know how to talk.

May be it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve seen it through you. You held it long enough to let go. Stop holding those bits and pieces of where you no longer belong.

Close your eyes to old endsand open your heart,to new beginnings.

You are brave, you know; I’ve seen you dance through the flames that ramble against you when you set yourself on fire.

You’re kind, you know; I’ve seen you soothe those who never bothered to know the ache inside you.

You’re more, you know; more than this, more than you ever were, more than anyone could ever be.

You’re made up of thunder, fireworks and sunlight. So, rise like the sun, and burn.

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“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” ― Rumi said.

“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn?Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends?Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked,Or the hush of a country road at night,Or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak,Or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house?

Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”

Lately I’ve begun to realize that one can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension of it’s own.
When words are empty, equations doesn’t matter anymore. But it’s always difficult to keep shut or use the right amount of words.

First theory.

The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it. There are two secrets to success, one choose your words wisely, second I won’t tell you.Successful people tend to speak the right amount of words required, for only people intelligent enough can identify what’s relevant to be said and what’s not. Giving more information is not only harmful but might communicate a wrong idea.

Say, if I’m chatting too much with my boss, he might think I’m interested in him beyond work. Or a cheesy salesperson may blabber out too much information, in a way nagging out the customer.

Also in relationships, it’s important to understand the other person’s silence more than only words. Sometimes, in the middle of a disagreement with her husband or to avoid one, she’ll call time out. If she don’t pause long enough for a walk or a sitting meditation to reflect on what’s really going on, she’s likely to keep blundering with hurtful speech. In silence one has a chance to cool down, assess the situation, examine one’s own motivations, and consider what words will help heal the rift.

Second Theory.

Speech pauses are the finest tricks of oratory since time immemorial. And the If you do it right, nobody is conscious of your pauses, but your ideas are more persuasively delivered. As white spaces add breathe to a paper full of words, speech pauses are necessary for verbal communication.

For example:

We were married ten years ago [pause] I still remember my first look at her coming up the aisle.Speech pause is an excellent way of delivering emotions. Isn’t it?

There’s another theory.

Would you find it uncomfortable to go on a date and sit in silence for an hour because you had only recently met your companion? What would you think if after returning home from several months’ absence your parents and relative didn’t speak to you for several days? Can you imagine working on a four-person cattle crew for several days without being introduced to or speaking with one of the other members, who you did not know?

Although these situations seem unusual to us, they are considered appropriate among the Apache. Although it seems natural to us that when people first meet introductions are in order and that when friends and relative reunite greeting and catching up will immediately follow, this is not the case for all cultures. There’s a study which investigates certain aspects of silence in the culture of the Western Apache of east-central Arizona.It is not the case that a man who is silent says nothing. – the Apache culture believes.

Maybe because I can talk up a storm, I love, even crave, silence. I feel safe in it. I know I won’t blurt out something foolish or harmful, something I’ll be sorry for. She said.

It is in the womb of silence that we can grow ideas for the best course of action to take. They say it helps us use our personal resources judiciously. Talking expends energy and takes up time. One requires to identify inner knowledge one has, rather than looking for places to go for. The way in is through inside.

You can surely fool people by your words, but not by your silence. In fact, silent is one’s loudest cry.

IT’S TIME TO GIVE UP WORDS AND HEAR SILENCE.

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