Observation #18: the New Hot Season & Mondays

21/06/18 11:16

18

So I woke up this morning and after about three acorn caps full of my Morning Nectar, I realised that today is the First Day of the New Hot Season! I’m pretty sure just about everybody else was asking themselves the exact, same important question I was asking myself this morning: How many Mondays are we going to get to enjoy in this Hot Season?

I couldn’t find my Calendar anywhere, so I figured the only way to get a precisely correct and necessary answer to that question was to turn to a mostly-reliable Authority. Of course, we all know that had to bee my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Robotic iBee, Bert. So after I managed to straighten out my left Antenna (I slept on it funny last night), I buzzed over to his Boot Box.

“Happiest of Happy First Day of the New Hot Season, uncle,” Kevin said when I got there. “My schedule seriously cannot accommodate any Surprise Visits today, and even though I think you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, this Unexpected Intrusion had better bee Highly Important.”

“It is,” I told him. “It is Imperative that I speak with Bert. I am in serious need of some Reliable Information, and I know he is the only source I can completely trust, probably.”

“Fine,” Kevin said, then he disappeared into his Work Space and after about five minutes, he returned carrying Bert’s head (he still hasn’t gotten around to fully reassembling Bert yet).

“So ask your question, then please leave,” Kevin told me.

So I did that. I asked Bert, “Bert? How many Mondays will we bee enjoying in this New Hot Season?”

Bert’s head clicked and buzzed for a few seconds, then he finally spoke.

“Today is Thursday, June 21, 2018. The local time is 10:14 and 36…37…38 seconds and counting. The Outdoor Air Temperature is a balmy 293.3722 Degrees Kelvin, and at least two out of the three of us have better things to do today than to hang around answering Suspicious Questions. However, since it seems I have no choice but to address your Query, according to my Infinitely Accurate Calculations, there will be precisely 13 Mondays in this, the New Hot Season.”

“Satisfied, uncle?” Kevin asked.

“Not really. That doesn’t seem like very many Mondays to me,” I told him.

“Not my problem,” Kevin told me, then he told me to leave, go back to my Shoe Box, and let him get on with his Day.

So I did that.

I’m sure we’ll all agree that 13 Mondays is not very many Mondays, is it? And I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I wish we had more than that. In fact, if you ask me, I think we’re getting Short-Changed on Mondays. Everybody knows there are 53 Mondays in all the four Seasons put together - and this Hot Season, we’re only getting 13 of those. That leaves something like 40 Mondays we’re NOT gonna enjoy this Hot Season. Is that even fair?

I don’t think so.

And worse than all that is the fact that we’re all gonna hafta wait four more days (counting today) beefore it’s finally Monday again. Seriously now. What the hell are we supposed to do beetween now and then? I need to know.

I think I’m gonna spend the rest of my day thinking about that. If I manage to come up with any bright ideas about what to do with Non-Monday Days - especially when they involve a Saturday and a Sunday - I’ll letcha know. Until then . . .