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Saturday, July 28, 2007

This is my little gentleman. He opens my doors and sits me at the table when we eat.He is such a huge blessing in our life. You see Cooper was our reversal baby. Scott and I had a vasectomy and after 5 years felt God calling us to have it reversed. After two weeks we became pregnant with twin and we lost them at 14 weeks.The Doctors told us that we would never be able to get pregnant again because the surgery had reversed itself back..Needless to say we were devastated and heart broken. I can not remember feeling so low. We started the adoption process and spent ALOT of money and time...We were finally picked by a birth mom on one Friday afternoon. We were thrilled....On Monday morning we found out I was pregnant with This little miracle. We soon found out that the birthmom was not the one for our family..8 months later we had this little guy who gave me back what I thought I had lost. The Lord was telling me to wait on him and his timing but I was telling the Lord I had to do things my way. I'm glad he made me wait. I now know how precious the gifts these little blessings bring into your life. My heart breaks when I hear a couple say they are not going to have any more children so they do something permanent.. God uses children to bless us..He uses children to make us more like him.He will use these children to change the next generation, but so many Christians say they wont have any more because they can't afford them. When they have expensive houses and 30,000 dollar cars. What sense does that make. We can't afford to keep playing God..I let the birth of Cooper change my life ..I let the Lord lead me to be a better mom, a mom that is so sold out to God and his plan for my family.Now about Coop this is what I would of missed out on if we would of said no more Lord, we have enough...

His smile is contagious and it is so hard to discipline him. He is in training to be a wonderful husband and father ....He has had many first this year..He is 5 years old and has learned to ride his bike and swim...He has also learned to read..He memorizes Scripture with the best of them and loves to carry his bible around.He climbs anything, and I do mean anything.He has alot of chores for a 5 year old but he does them all..He has to clean the living room, the sinks in the bathroom, the boys bedroom, and to clean out the van.He puts the trash in one bag and peoples things in another..He has to sit and play with his sister for 30mins each day while I'm doing other things with the older ones..This is something we have just always done..We all help with the house chores and we all help with the little ones. I taught him early on to change diapers and to change outfits...He is not afraid to be around little ones..He is a protector of his little brothers and sister..I encourage that as much as anything...We feel you have to start early to teach your children that this life is not about them..It's so easy to raise up children to be selfish and to think that everything should revolve around them.It's alot harder to raise up children to lay themselves aside and to think about their siblings...It's a process...I believe when the bible says "Love thy neighbor" that your first neighbor is the ones you share a roof with....................................The other day I said Coop how many kids are you going to have.? He said "I want two white babies and then I'm going to get a big van and have 5 black babies from Africa and come over to your house and let them play with your African babies." I hope you do son. Have a house full and we will always have your back...................................I say" I love you to the moon and back again" and he says" I love you to the stars and back". I know that God has huge plans for him and I pray for wisdom everyday to keep my self out of Gods way..........

On a personal note I just want to thank the Lord for giving me a 2nd chance..For making the wrongs right.....You are such an incredible father when I'm so undeserving.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Monday, July 23, 2007

We had a very busy weekend as you can tell..I had to show you my three little ones all eating cereal and then Cooper started drinking his milk and Channie and Cullen started drinking theirs.. I train my boys early on to help around the house..Coop loves to mop.The picture of Cullen I LOVE...Look at those eyes girls.....I hope you all had a wonderful weekend of building memories with your family.I have not heard a thing on baby Jo,please keep praying...

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Friday, July 20, 2007

Today was a great day..We found a sleigh baby bed and tons of little boy clothes size 12months.It felt so good buying for him. I really felt as though he will be here one day..I have been feeling like some people just don't get us..We were slammed pretty hard bya family member questioning our motives. Gosh if we were doing something that was horribleI guess I could expect someone to say something to us..We are raising up some great kids for theLord..We take care of our house-hold.We don't expect them too. We try and accept their life-styleyet they feel as though they can tell us how we are going to mess ours up by adopting a little boy..If we would of listened to this same person we would be minus 3 kids right now. I remember them saying the same thing about our reversal. This person said the glamour and honey moon about all of this wont last and then we will be stuck...OK stuck with 6 great kids I'll take it.Stuck with a wonderful husband who loves me and these kids more than anything I'll take it..Raising up kids who love the Lord OK I'll take it..Having my table so full with laughter and love OK I'll take it.Having a half dozen kids crawl in your bed and tell you how much they love you OK I'll take it.Never feeling alone or like you don't count. OK I 'll take it. Always having someone to go with you anywhere..OK I'll take it. Always having something to laugh about.I'll take it. Crazy Sunday mornings getting ready for church..I'll take it. I'll take it all I will be stuck with these wonderful souls.....and when I get old I hope I'm stuck with tons and tons and tons of grandchildren so I'll be stuck more..................................................................

My motives for adopting is pure love for another little soul...I believe love is a leap that can-not be denied...So question, and then realize we are who we are and we willmake mistakes and we will get up and start a fresh day with thelove of our lives...our kids...I don't think we will regret investing in thfuture. I believe more people regret living a selfish self centered life.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

To all of the nay sayers out there who are afraid to take a risk beyond themselves.Let Love take you in...When you step out on faith and do something life changingGod will be there to carry you..We know our family is supposed to cross paths withthis little guy named Joesph and we couldn't be happier...I can't wait to see whatGod has in store for us......................Go ahead and do something that will change yourlife and turn around and you will see the Lord there...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

We prayed a prayer of protection over Joesph's little life. We pray that he wouldfind favor with people today where-ever he is at. I prayed that he would feel lovedand accepted..Will you please join us in praying for him and our process.All of this paper-work is so little in God's eyes..I know he is preparing Joesph forour family as we wait on paper work to return. I pray that our paper work herein Alabama will find it's way to someone that will move it along quicker..favor yes I'masking for a little favor myself in the CSI department...God bless you all and may we all glorify Him today in all we say and do.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I ckecked the mail today and there is his name bright as ever on a letter.It looked so good. It is his Dr.s apt for the cardiologist. They sent a bunchof papers to fill out..His apt is not until September 26Th. I hope he is home.They said if he wasn't to just call them and re schedule.But anyway it looked so real. It looked so normal to see it...

This morning is one day closer to bringing Joesph Turner home.I can't wait to hold that little fellow in my arms.We were doing biblelast night and all five of the kids were sitting around Scott listeningto him teach from Gen. and I looked around and could feel for the firsttime someone was missing. I notice that someone is missing from my tableas well. The empty chair sitting next to me is calling out his name.I could tell someone was missing when I went and tucked all the kids in last night.I could tell someone was missing when he doesn't come crawl in our bed in themorning with the rest of the zoo crew. How can it be anything but God? The plantingof a child in your heart whom you have never met only seen on paper.I pray for him this morning. I pray his presence will continue to fill our home.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Some of you have been shocked at some of my music choices..I just wanted to clarify.My music on my blog is a reflection of mostly me but a few of the songs are a reflectionon my children. Tucker LOVES music and he loves Toby Mac and I want to be the kind ofmom that Loves what my children love.Sometimes that drives me right out of my comfortzone but that'sOK. I never want to be closed minded to what they love as long as it is respectfulof course. I love seeing where they will take me. I Love being on this journey with them.It's not all about me it's all about loving one another. I love the things they love. I may haveto wear ear-plugs sometimes but they don't have to know that..:)

What a great weekend. Our whole family is in a state of rejoicing over little Joesph.I have been real emotional over the whole situation. Taylor and I spent the day Saturdaymaking pictures for our friends and family to put on their fridge so they will remember topray for him. We made him a blanket and also a photo album that will be sent to him.We handed out chocolate all day Sunday for our up coming chocloate kisses...I have had friends cry with me and rejoice with me. What a privilege to have so manychristian friends. We will bringing Joesph home to a big extended family.Cooper woke up this morning and Scott grabbed him and bunched him up in his armsand the first thing he said was"I wished Joesph was home." Scott said I do to buddy.

Last night at bible study we are learning about the Lord's prayer. We just studied twowords last night "Our Father" I didn't realize those two little words mean so much. He wassaying you don't have to pretend that everything is alright with God because he knows.You can pour your heart out to him and he listens. You can cry and he understands.You don't have to pretend your perfect with him because he made you and he knows you.He said for what ever reason your earthy father may not love you the way you think you should be loved but God is the perfect father and you are his child and he loves you just because youryou. That gave me such comfort when I think about how many hoops I try to jump throughwith my own earthy father. I don't have to do anything to impress him he loves me just the way I am. As I start my week I pray that I will love my children as Christ loves me. I pray thatI can see them through the eyes of their Creator and love without expectation's.

Please be praying for our paper work from CSIPlease pray for protection over JoesphPlease pray as we prepare our house-hold

Saturday, July 14, 2007

So it's been a day of paper work to send off to get our I600a approval quicker.Since Joesph Turner is considered "at risk" they have to speed things up on thisside. We had to write a letter and send his medical info. I sent a picture also itcouldn't hurt. I will post and let you know if this helped. Donna said it was supposed to..We made these cute announcements for church. We made him a photoalbum and a blanket. I have made the kids a blanket and then it's "their baby." They carryit around and sleep with it until they hit about 4.I hope Joesph carries his. I will have itready for him. I have to say I have been alittleoverwhelmed by all that has happened theselast few days. My mind is racing from one thing to another. My fears of the future haverelaxed as the Lord reminds me he is in control. The more reading I do I find that hiscondition is very common and it can be fixed. I'm thankful for skilled Dr's.I am convinced that Jo is supposed to be here for what-ever reason. The day that Donnawas telling us about Jo and his need to get out of the Country so he could have surgery, everyone kept telling us that the big thing was MY pass-port because it had not been sent off for long and it could take as long as 6months to get back. Yikes I couldn't believe it. I pull upto my mail-box that day and guess what My pass-port.I just stopped and thanked the Lord.He has opened so many doors along the way that only he could..I'm in awe with what he does if you make yourself available. We feel so blessed to have Joas a referral and he has already started changing our family. I pray for his safety. I pray forhis immune system that it will fight off colds and malaria. I pray that the Lord will start preparing him for us. Thanks for all of you praying and Please put him on your prayer list atchurch...I love my church they have been so supportive in all ways and I'm glad to be bringingJ.T. home to such loving people. Please pray for our paper work to go through fast..

Aurela Berisha, 6, smiles at her mother during a press conference to discuss her heart surgery at PCMH. She and another Kosovoc hild came to Greenville through the Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project. Photo by Cliff Hollis.

Kosovo children doing well after heart surgery

GREENVILLE, N.C. (2/20/03 ) -- Two days after having life-saving heart surgery at Pitt County Memorial Hospital, 6-year-old Aurela Berisha sat in a wheelchair in her pajamas and pink slipper socks smiling during a press conference to highlight her surgery and how the little girl from Kosovo arrived in eastern North Carolina.

Aurela and 3-year-old Dardan Zeqiri arrived in Greenville in early February with their mothers and an interpreter from Kosovo, where heart surgery to repair their congenital heart defects is unavailable. The Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project coordinated and paid for the travel for the children, their mothers and an interpreter.

When asked how she felt, Aurela said through an interpreter, "Very good. Very happy," with a big grin.

Lorraine Rucker, one of the Samaritan's Purse local volunteers, said, "She didn't even want to ride in the wheelchair. She wanted to walk."

The children were discharged from PCMH three days after surgery. They will remain in Greenville for the next four weeks with host families from Covenant United Methodist Church so physicians can monitor their recoveries before making the long flight back to Kosovo, which is a province in the Republic of Serbia.

"Both surgeries went well," said Sharon Welsh, pediatric cardiac nurse clinician at Children's Hospital of University Health Systems of Eastern Carolina. "Both children were off the ventilator and moved out of the pediatric ICU within 24 hours after surgery. We were very pleased with their progress."

Dr. Jon Moran, a pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon at the Brody School of Medicine at East Carolina University, performed the first procedure on Feb. 18, on Aurela. She had a ventricular septal defect, a hole between the two lower pumping chambers of the heart along with some obstruction of blood flow to the lungs. That hole was closed with a patch and the obstruction removed. Her mother, Valbone Berisha, accompanied her to Greenville.

Because of the VSD, Aurela is smaller than other children her age. She and Dardan, who is three years younger, are about the same size, the physicians noted. In the United States, children born with VSD are typically repaired with surgery between 6 and 12 months of age. Aurela's mother said that when Aurela was 2 weeks old doctors discovered that she had a heart problem.

Dr. Theodore Koutlas, also an ECU pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon, operated Feb. 19 on Dardan. He had an atrial septal defect, a hole between the upper chambers of the heart causing excess blood flow to the lungs and an enlarged heart. Dardan's hole was closed with sutures. His mother, Elizabeta Zeqiri, accompanied him to the United States.

Dardan's ASD would have typically been corrected surgically around 2 years of age in the United States, the surgeons noted.

Dr. Charlie Sang, a pediatric cardiologist with ECU, performed the pre-surgery medical evaluations of the children. Both children also required a full dental exam and care prior to having surgery to prevent complications post-surgery. Dr. Jasper Lewis of Greenville provided the dental care.

The interpreter for the children and their mothers, Semie Vula, came with them from Kosovo. She said she was thankful to be able to come on the trip with the children. "I'm appreciative to the Samaritan's Purse families. I've been blessed to come on this trip. I'm thankful to Dr. Koutlas and Dr. Moran and the whole hospital staff," Vula said.

Aurela's mother was teary-eyed after she said: "I'm pleased and happy that she has a new heart now and a normal life. I have a normal life with my kids now. I thank Samaritan's Purse for bringing my child here."

According to the Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project, Aurela lives with her parents, grandparents, two sisters and a brother along with other relatives (a total of 18) in one house in Drenco. Because of her heart defect, before surgery she tired very easily and was unable to run. Her mother said she could go about two blocks before she had to stop and rest, and she would begin to turn blue. Aurela said that she did not like not being able to play soccer, and now she will play.

Dardan lives with nine other family members in their home in Shtimje. He was born in Switzerland when his family had fled the country during the war. They returned to Kosovo when he was 11 months old.

Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project identifies children and matches them with hospitals and surgeons in the United States and Canada who are willing to donate their time and services. They also arranged for Covenant United Methodist Church and a local family to host the children during their recovery period in the United States.

Since 1997, Samaritan's Purse has brought more than 185 children with life-threatening heart defects to the United States from Bosnia, Mongolia and Kosovo. In 2001 and 2002, Samaritan's Purse brought a total of four children from Mongolia to PCMH for surgery.

Friday, July 13, 2007

I have been searching for the best Dr. for Joesph Turner and I think I found him.He is at children's Hospital...They were able to calm some fears I've been having.His heart condition is very fixable and he will live a normal life after surgery..Of course they don't know without seeing him but they use on almost all heart problemslike Joesph they are able to do with a catheter..meaning not major open heart surgery.So anyway, please continue to pray..We have him an apt for Sept 26th...I hope he is home..

OK so it was a rough night.I felt like I got married or something yesterday.Your whole life changes. You have so many decisions to make.So I woke up and felt like I couldn't breath...I was thinking all of these negativethoughts and I woke my sweet hubby up and he just props up on his elbow andsays "so what is bothering you the most" I said what if this what if that..He saysGod already has everything worked out....Why instead of thinking of all the negativeyou think of all the positive.OK I could do that......I ask for prayer over my thoughts I pray that I will take captive every thought...Please continue to pray for Joesph Turner as he needs to stay healthy..Please pray for our financial provision as we thought we would have a few monthsto save up money..Please pray for our household that a calm spirit would reside..

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I'm just sitting out here in the middle of these woods day dreaming about someone who is across the world from me. I keep telling myself that I will feel better after I've heard something. Who am I kidding? I wont feel better until I can hold him in my arms.....I believe the Lord is going to have to get new carpet in his waiting room because I have wore the old stuff out. He is right here with me though. I'm sure he knows how I feel waiting on a child to come home. I'm sure it's been me at times, when I chose to live "my own life". Well I am going to go out for a while and carry my cell phone with me, and breath in some bama air and re- group. I pray my phone rings sooooooon.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Just a request for prayer for a little guy that we have never met but have fallen in love with his sweet eyes. He is sick and is in Africa. I can't say he is mine yet official but...I hope to get an up-date tomorrow on him. So please pray that he is safe and well...It is so hard to be so far away and know you can't do anything........Prayer is so powerful and I know that he is in the father's hands.Sheltered by his wings...I want to thank my friend Brandi for such a sweet prayer over his life this afternoon. I also pray for your little guy on this his birthday. You are such a sweet person and I'm thankful to be on this journey with you......I will try and up-date as I get info. It's really hard waiting for that phone call.Love to all and good night,Rob

I am reading a book called The Shaping of A Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot. I read a parttoday that really encouraged me about my husband. It said "I will lay the key of the house of David on his shoulder;what he opens no man shall shut, and what he shuts no man shall open. He shall be a seat of honour for his father's family; I will fasten him firmly in place like a peg. On him shall hang all the weight of the family, down to the lowest dregs-all the little vessels, both bowls and pots(Isa.22:-24)Vivid analogies here- the man with the keys. the one in charge, steward, protector,guard. Also the peg supporting all the weight of the family. If he is not firmly established in his place, recognizing its full meaning, accepting its full burden in honor before God, the family cannot help but suffer. And pegs are not noticed for the work they do, nor are they usually thanked!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Well as most of you know tomorrow is Monday. I don't like Mondays very much becausemy best friend goes back to work and it takes a few days to get the kids back on track..The little ones cry after him when he leaves and I have to tell him to leave quietly becausewhen they hear that door shut they start crying..I wonder what that is like to have a daddy whomyou love being around and they love being around you. My dad was a drinker and that was his passion and it still is. I see what my children have and I for the first time realize what I missed as a little girl. I can't imagine my dad telling me how much he loved me and missed me when he was away. I can only recall a few times that he ever said he loved me. He still drinks now and so I don't see him that often and my children are missing out on a grandpa.I feel sorry for him because he is missing out on my children...He doesn't get to hold alittle soft baby or take the boys fishing or have someone hold his hand .He is alone with his alcohal. He is by himself and my house is so full. It's true what ever your passionate about will be revealed in your life..I hope our life reveals our passion for our family and our love for the Lord and our love for all these children the Lord has blessed us with.

Looking into the eyes of a child you have never met and yet somewhere you think you have seen him before. Looking into the eyes of a child whom you want to take into your arms and make all things better for him.Looking into his eyes and knowing that you would give him the world if you could. You search his face, you search his body,you wonder could he love you, could he love us? Dreaming of a day when you can see those eyes face to face and remind him that you are his and he is yours........Watching him grow. Getting tons of kisses.Snuggling.Hugging.Bathes.Lotion.Cutting up his food. Teaching him about God.Ice-cream.Car Seats.Moives.Church.Swimming.Birthdays.Christmas.Thanksgiving.Mothers Day.Snow.Lazy Saturdays.Playing in the rain.Zoo.So many 1stI want to experience with him..............................................

I wonder what your thinking.I wonder what you feel.I wonder if you know.I wonder if you could love us.I wonder if you dare.I wonder if I can make it better for you?I wonder if you know that one dayI will come for you and bring you home.I wonder if you are scared?I wonder if you are lonely?I wonder if you are sleeping ?I wonder if you feel okayI wonder if you know that one day Iwill come.

Well someone asked me how it felt to know that you have a child in Libera, and all I cansay is I stand in amazement at how my Lord works. You see a picture and you look intoa pair of sad eyes and you ask yourself can I see my self in his eyes? Can we cover the hurt.Can we cover his pain. Can we make everything alright? Can I hold in and tell him how safe andloved he is and yet I've never met him. I know that when we bring our child home we can never cover everything but only the Lord can cover and make things right for him.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

I love living in the country..We live on 40 acres and we built our home in the middle of it. No neighbors just dogs and cats and a horse and 2 ducks and a few chickens... I love raising our children here. The peacefulness of a summer night with the frogs chirping and the crickets. We don't have TV so I don't hear the news often so you kinda forget there is so much violence in the world when you do hear it..We home-school so we don't hear much about how bad the schools are..We're just busy living. I love being able to send my boys out to play and to explore this land like their grandfather before them. I love to see their little tents out in the yard and I love to see Taylor setting up a picnic for them..The world is so fast. No-one stops and enjoys the simple things any more it's always hurry up and get this done so we can move on to the next...Our family I guess is old fashioned I'm not sure how we came to this..We always felt a little out of sync with the world but more so when we started having children..We have such a desire to pass on our Love for the Lord to them. We want them to grow up and be sold out for God and their families not sold out to this world. It's so hard raising up these souls..You never know if your doing enough or not doing enough...You just pray that the Lord will fill in the blanks...I'm thankful to live here I hope one day that 5 or 6 little houses are around ours..( or at least not to far away):)

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"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."