Well, I'm off to Seattle tomorrow. Anyone who knows me in 3-D is encouraged to contact me for hanging-outage. Meanwhile, here are the fruits of my crusty-eyed Internet meanderings the last few days:

The results of a worldwide safe-sex survey. Among the results: Both the average Dane and the average U.S. American lose their virginity at 16. The average Turk has 14 sex partners in their life, compared to 9 for Denmark and 10 for the U.S. Oh, and Norwegians have the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases of any country surveyed. And their food sucks. And their government has the spending habits of everyone's grandpa. And it's expensive. Norway just sucks, ok?

Yeah, maybe if you were on a white guy, or an asian guy, or a girl, your reputation would be a lot better at this point. You might be a little more "remarkable." But the fact of the matter is you're on a black guy, and you are underachieving.

This Wired story about a love triangle that existed exclusively online, and involved only one person who was telling the truth about their identity. It takes place in West Virginia, so of course it ends with someone being shot.