I actually HAVE to go into the shop on a daily basis now for my intake of funny and happy fun times, so in some strange masochistic way I concluded that I must enjoy the cheery banter and general lack of service.

England is often seen as a “soft touch” for most immigrants. Tony Blair also described Britain as a melting pot for cultural diversity.

I personally think you can never have enough Jamaican drug dealers, Nigerian pimps, Russian mafia and Ukrainian benefit fraudsters in our green and pleasant land. Hey and lets not forget those lovable muggers and rapists.

Invite them to Starbucks for a :java: and make small talk with them. Suggest a photo session on the streets of Royal Oak with them doing everyday tasks: buying grease, polishing the welcome mat, meeting with their compatriots across town and eating strange foods at ethnicly unidentifiable restaurants.

Enjoy their bizarre willingness to fit into a culture that barely makes sense to their continental sensibilities.

Take into account that their strange speech patterns are the result of hundreds of generations of in-breeding in mountainous terrain, cut-off from civilization as we know it.

👿 Usama: Yes, and make the car bombs yourself and park it directly in the airport garage.

:geek: Albanian neighbor: Get Car. New. Is. Get Car.

👿 Usama: No! Not a new car. Never new. Rent older model. We don’t want the Crusaders to notice you. A new car may attract the materialist Americans. No wax either. It is made from bones of heathen animals. Rent car that is still dusty. Do not wear perfumes either. Do not play American musical soda pop in car. Islam forbids it.

:geek: Albanian neighbor: Is nice get car.

👿 Usama: Yes, get car. Please. Today.

:geek: Albanian neighbor: You watch Olympuh-nick?

👿 Usama: The caves of Kashmir keep no t.v. I am told we could not get a cell into the Olympic stadiums.

:geek: Albanian neighbor: Yes. Wolley vall. They lose.

👿 Usama: I do not care. I do not care for wolley vall. Get car today and it must asplode tonight.