How To Bring Alcohol On A Plane

Tired of paying $7 for a single serving of Jack Daniels on American Airlines? Let The Drunk Pirate show you how to bring alcohol on a plane.

I fly constantly, and drink constantly, and I know what I’m talking about when it comes to how far you can stretch the TSA guidelines on how to bring alcohol on a plane.

I’ve successfully taken my own liquor on an airplane no less than a dozen times and have never been questioned. And I’ve done it on every airline in several major cities.

How I Learned How To Bring Alcohol On a Plane

About a year ago I was getting packed up to fly from Tampa International to San Francisco for a trade show. On the way to the airport I happened to stop at a convenience store that just happened to have a liquor store next to it.

They had some cool shit in the window display so I went in to see if they had anything I couldn’t live without. Usual stuff, but as I was walking past the friendly Indian man (dot, not feathers) I noticed the bargain bin of $.99 single-serving liquor bottles. You know, the kind they serve on a plane.

At that moment 15 different facts converged on the few working brain cells I haven’t managed to kill and created the single best idea I’ve ever had.

According to the TSA, you may carry ANY NON FLAMMABLE liquid on a commercial airliner that is in a SEALED container that is less than 3 fluid ounces. This entire bin of non-flammable liquids were sealed and less than 3 ounces….this flight was going to be epic.

I went through my mental checklist of the usual mixers in a standard beverage cart and chose 10 bottles accordingly – Jack. Smirnoff. Captain Morgan. The gang was all here and ready for wheels up in less than two hours.

Getting Alcohol through the Security Check

Like a good and seasoned passenger, I placed all my less-than-3-ounce liquids in a clear plastic bag as not to rile the TSA gestapo. I had to go to el bano when we first got to the airport, so I told the rest of my group to go ahead and I would catch up with them.

After taking care of some paperwork, I headed to the security checkpoint feeling like a drug mule expecting to get tackled by some plain clothes, dragged into an unmarked room and cavity searched by some staunch lady with eczema and big fingers.

Shoes off, belt off, computer out of bag, toiletries in a clear bag and a plastic bag with 10 plastic bottles of 80 proof. All nestled in uniform grey plastic bins. I sent them through the xray machine, got scatter scanned myself and waited on the other end.

One-by-one each bin came out. No one even looked at me. Fuckin’ A.

I gathered my shit as fast as I could and headed to the monorail that would take me to the gate. That’s when I ran into trouble.

I got to the gate and didn’t see anyone I was traveling with. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even see the sign for the right airline. I had gone to the wrong concourse. FML.

I got back on the monorail, went back to the gate entry, put roots on the dumb bitch at the entrance who checked my ticket but neglected to tell me I was going to the wrong concourse and headed to the correct concourse…and another security checkpoint.

This was it. I was about to find out if my theory was sound or if the first TSA xray tech was just being cool and I was about to go to airport jail for trying to sneak my own alcohol onto a plane.

I did the whole shoes, belt, bags thing again and walk through another scatter scanner. As I waited on the other end I saw the TSA person in charge of the xray scanner stop for a second, lean in and the give his best Obama “not bad” face. My bins came out lined up like Rockettes. I had successfully recreated my experiment and proven my theory. At least in Tampa anyway.

On The Plane

You could have given me the seat next to the guy who just found out he had cured AIDS and he wouldn’t have been prouder of himself as I was of myself. I had successfully smuggled $100 in airline-value alcohol on a commercial airline—completely within the guidelines of the TSA.

I would go on to successfully carry excessive amounts of alcohol through TSA security checkpoints in San Francisco, New York, Jacksonville, San Antonio, Portland, New York, Chicago and Nashville.

It should be noted, some flight attendees get all pissy when they see you with your own booze. So keep it hidden.

Yeah but for me 1.00 a shot is still too much money. I mean, come on, we are fighting prices here right? So what I did was fill a bunch of prescription pill bottles. Leak proof. I also think the special uv plastic might deter detection. Leave no air bubbles inside. Scatter em about the bag. Used 151. As a scientist who works in a chem lab, I can tell you that they will not have the tech to get the specific gravityand know the proof. Honestly no need to be paranoid, the worst that will happen is they will toss them at the check point. Just be careful once you are past that. Then your cruising for trouble

Well after reading all these comments, I am going to give it a go – my problem is a bit different to most people as I am flying on Muslim flight with no alchohol being served but they will let you drink it & give you a glass & mixers but will not serve you & it also has to be drunk by the time you land in their country (which is also dry) . So think I can conform to these instructions & am off for my 100ml bottles!! Will post how I got on in couple of months.

I take my minis in a 1 quart bag in my carry on bag. I order tomato juice from the flight attendant and pour in my vodka when no one is looking…. or rum with coke. Cool

On a cruise I get a nice boxed wine (black box is ok) and take the wine out of the box and flatten the box. I lay that plastic bladder in my checked luggage. When I get to my cabin I fold the box back into a square and shove that wine back in. Works like a charm. Peace out

Sure it is legal to bring your own minis thru TSA, but it is illegal to consume your own alcohol in the plane. It is a federal offense, actually. You really shouldn’t take this advise unless you are ready for a little jail time, that’s why the flight attendants get pissy, because it creates a lot of paperwork for them, and it is put into your record for future travels.

I normally drink beer (cheap date), So I guess the next best thing would be rum and coke and of course a lime! I’m going to get those little bottles at the liquor store and a coke for $1.00 hopefully at McDonald’s at the airport and mix a big one before I get on so the flight attendant won’t get pissy! Chicago to Florida in snowy February hell yes here I come! Thanks for the tips

You didn’t actually sneak anything onto the plane. It says right on the TSA website that you can bring as many 3.4 oz bottles of alcohol under 140 proof as comfortably fits inside the plastic bag. Meaning the bag has to close and not be bulging at the seams. The only problem is that it’s against FAA regulations to drink any alcohol that wasn’t served on the plane. That’s why your flight attendants get “pissy”, because you’re breaking a federal law. Be discreet. Mix it into a soda or juice. And share if you’re nice.

My method is to bring in the mini-bottles as described above, and then after the TSA checkpoint, I buy a 1/2 liter bottle of orange juice at any shop outside of the gate. I then just make myself screwdrivers from then until I arrive at my destination by covertly adding the booze when nobody is looking. While in-flight, I simply ask for refills of orange juice.

This method is obviously much cheaper than buying in-flight. But also, it’s less messy because I keep the OJ bottle closed when not taking swigs, so no need to worry about turbulence spilling my drink. Also, I don’t have the aggravation of waiting for the flight attendant to come back and refill my drink. This is especially important on long haul flights when everyone goes to sleep and flight attendants are trying to take a break. I even do this in business class for the same reasons, except I refill the bottle with the airline booze when available. Lastly, this is the ONLY way to get a stiff drink before a morning flight, since most airports don’t serve alcohol before, say, 10am or 12pm or whatever the location mandates. And you can swig from your innocent looking bottle throughout boarding, all the way until they finally come around with the service cart!

For the others who have noted that it’s against federal law to drink alcohol on a plane that a flight attendant did not serve you…. most of the staff really do look the other way if you aren’t drunken mess about it. How you behave on a flight is, by far, the most important thing to flight attendants. They want a pleasant flight too, and the biggest problem they ever have are misbehaving passengers. So if you’re cool and quiet about things, you won’t have any trouble at all.

Awesome story dude. Bill Dwyer needs to get his panties out of a bunch. Maybe he should do some research on how ineffective the TSA is besides for creating shitty jobs for people that hate working them and the only thing they do is sort of stop the drug trade and annoy the shit out of everybody. If you are pregnant, old, or have a kid with you, you can waltz through the checkpoints with whatever the fuck you want. Get real dude. The TSA stereotypes and anybody smart enough can bypasss them. Ever watch “we’re the millers”? It’s not just a movie.

Multi-million mile frequent flier here. To avoid the pissy looks from the flight attendants, I just refill energy drink bottles with booze (2 oz. 5 Hours Energy). The flight attendants love it when I pour one into a mixer – “Well I guess you’ll be really awake for this flight!”

Flight attedents get pissy… It is illegal to drink alcohol that has not been opened or served by a flight attendant. I would not recommend doing it without some research. Sometimes up The will open and serve your drinks.

So I want to bring Vodka. I have different colored plastic bottles, that you use for shampoo or body wash. As long as they go in the same clear, plastic, quart-sized bag, as my actual shampoo, I am golden, right?

I think it’s absolutely hilarious that a guy that calls himself DrunkPirate going out of Tampa had a pirate logo that was halfway into the Tampa Bay Buccaneers old logo, with each one sporting a knife in the mouth!Carry On!

this southwest agent got all pissy at me for bringing my own and told me it was illegal –she said ‘tthat is why we serve alcohol.and I said..well we can bring snacks,and you give those away, Been doing this for years ..woud not do it if they didn’t charge double for a drink. I guess because my husband is a lot older than me ..she felt like she could call him honey…im writing a letter about her..all because she gave me a hard time about my little bottles…such a buzz kill unhappy attendant…she looked like she needed something,

Instead of the cloak and dagger, why don’t you just ask the TSA people. I did and they told me that bringing liquor in your carry-on is fine as long as it is in the small 3.4 oz containers which are contained in the one quart plastic bag. Watch out for the airlines though. They make money charging exorbitant rates for their drinks and have their own rules for why you cannot drink your own liquor on their airline. As has been suggested, elsewhere, once you are past customs, buy an appropriate soft drink and mix your liquor before getting on the airline. Don’t get drunk and what no one knows won’t hurt you.

I’ve taken alcohol mini bottles through LAX, SLC, PRV, MCO never a problem at the checkpoints. Airline attendants can get upset if they see you’ve brought your own liquor. I usually purchase one bottle of Jack Daniels from them and continue to pull out my own bottles after the first one is gone.