Caravan of Mennonites Heading for U.S. Border

The Driedger family of Abbotsford have loaded up their Dodge Caravan and are currently heading for the U.S. border. Authorities are on high alert, having been notified not to let any caravans enter the country.

“We’re just going down to Seattle to pick up a few things at the Hobby Lobby,” said Mrs. Driedger. “So we loaded up Maria, Adam, Sally, Greg, Tim, little Menno, and even Oma into the Caravan and away we went.”

The Driedger Caravan is full of Mennonites eager to get into the United States and the American government is taking the situation very seriously.

“We’ve heard something of these Mennonite caravans and we’re not going to let another one through,” said Officer Smucker. “I have been assured that we have the full support of the American military power in preventing another caravan from getting into the country.”

The Driedgers were planning to come back after just a couple days of shopping and dining at their favourite American chains, but the border officers are not buying their story.

“They all say they’re going to grab a bite to eat and then go right back home,” said Smucker. “But I don’t trust them at all. I mean, seriously, who really wants to eat at TGI Friday’s?”

The Mennonite Caravan is scheduled to reach the border later this evening, just in time to make the headlines right before the midterms.

Related Articles

EMERSON, MB Local woman, Mrs. Schultz, 81, of the Altona area was arrested on charges of narcotic smuggling after she left a Tupperware container of her famous poppyseed cake in the back seat of her […]

WASHINGTON, DC There has been much mystery and speculation surrounding the authorship of an anonymous editorial in the New York Times recently. The op-ed stated that someone was working “from the inside” to bring down […]

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites from across the city surrounded Winnipeg City Hall on Friday demanding that Mayor Bowman change the name of the city to Vanapag. “We’re here today to express our desire to […]