Wealthy chinese citizens during the ninth and tenth century would sprinkle gold dust on their food as a sign of extreme wealth but also as they believed it provided healing powers. Lesser citizens lived in the catacombs below the city and stole the released excrement to extract its valuable cargo.

To keep it blatant, someone who breaks into your house while you're sleeping, tip-toes into your bathroom, reaches into your plumbing and steals your poo, stores it in their mouth or shirt, and scuttles out without being seen. Creepy poo thieves.

Brendan is the ILLEST turd burglar.

See Dan? You know why he's smiling so wide? He just burgled some turds for his collection.