Villain Speak

What were you like before the story began? (Bertrand) Who wants to know? (Dr. Ron) He was a bloodthirsty monster then, he’s a bloodthirsty monster now. I, on the other hand, was a chiropractor, a respected medical professional, until the night one of his kind attacked me. They said I was lucky – lucky! – to be alive. If you can call this living.

Who are you opposing and why? (Dr. Ron) I don’t oppose anybody. I just don’t think we should continue with this, this charade any longer. (Bertrand) Everybody. You’re all just meat.

Do you think maybe you should just lay off the caffeine a bit? (Bertrand) Are you kidding? We haven’t had anything with taste since forever. If I didn’t bite my own arms every so often I’d go crazy.

Alright, so what it is you plan to do once you have reached your goal? (Dr. Ron) If I achieve my goal none of us will be doing anything, ever. (Bertrand) Me, once I figure out how to get back I’ll have me a fine old time, see if I can set a new record on the evening news.

What would your mother think of all this? (Bertrand) Why should I care? She named me Bertrand! She deserved what she got.

Right. So, how would you describe yourself? (Dr. Ron) I’m a man, trying not to be a monster, while he’s a monster who plays at being a man. (Bertrand) I’ve had enough of it. Even if they kill me let me go out in style!

Who are your closest allies? (Dr. Ron) I have none. (Bertrand) Everybody in my pack is dead. They got sloppy. Good thing I didn’t go with ’em. I’ll learn from their mistakes.

That’s great, but haven’t you heard the good guy always wins? (Bertrand) Who cares? I just want to have the high score before I go down. (Dr. Ron) That’s good to know, since I am the good guy here, even if the others don’t recognize it.