Here’s the latest on the Iowa Caucus last night (you know, for if you are one of those people who still believes in the legitimacy of this whole process the way small children believe in the tooth fairy).

We are told that somehow Ted Cruz won, despite the fact that Donald Trump has been leading in every poll pretty much ever for months now going in.

Our time to do what? Lie about being someone you aren’t until you get into office? Anyone who takes the time to seriously look into Ted and his wife should be running in the opposite direction.

Cruz is a former Bush advisor and lawyer who met his Council on Foreign Relations, Goldman Sachs, North American Union-endorsing wife while she was a Bush advisor, too. What else do you really need to know? A vote for Cruz over there is a vote for Bush. Cruz bows at the Bush dynasty altar. (source)

Trump got 24 percent (7 delegates) to Cruz’s 28 percent (8 delegates), while Rubio came in third (23 percent, 7 delegates), Carson fourth (3 delegates), and Rand fifth (1 delegate). Everyone else had varying degrees of losing and muddying the waters enough that had they simply not been there to begin with, all those wasted votes together could’ve changed the outcome… then again, that’s probably the point. Bush, somehow, managed to actually get a delegate with three whole percent, even though his Super PAC is now paying people to attend his rallies.

On the Democratic side, Hillary’s camp claims she is breathing a “sigh of relief” for her “win” but come on. She was in a virtual tie with Bernie to the point that, in six Iowa counties, they had to have a coin toss. As if our elections aren’t fake enough.

Today we are told that somehow, magically, Hillary Clinton has the luckiest coin toss skills ever and that she was able to get ALL SIX.

Melissa Dykes is a writer, researcher, and analyst for The Daily Sheeple and a co-creator of Truthstream Media with Aaron Dykes, a site that offers teleprompter-free, unscripted analysis of The Matrix we find ourselves living in. Melissa also co-founded Nutritional Anarchy with Daisy Luther of The Organic Prepper, a site focused on resistance through food self-sufficiency. Wake the flock up!