Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home.”

—–

Patch Adams

====================

Well. I had all these quotes and I didn’t know what to do with them until I saw the image at the opening of this post: “They say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving maybe I’m going home.”

I have often wondered why many of us are so restless. We seek things, and travel places looking for ‘something’ and dream dreams. This doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy what we have nor does it mean we don’t accept reality. It just means that there is always an undercurrent of change or “what ifs” or “what could be’s” underneath the surface of our Life. At the same time we are sailing through Life seeking some place we can land which we can not only call home, but actually feels like home.

And maybe that is where the line “home is where you hang your hat’ comes into play. In its simplicity it is actually suggesting that it really isn’t your hat that matters it is when you accept that you can be who you are and that ‘who’ is all you can be that you have found home. And while Thérèse was really suggesting that the material world was simply your journey and heaven, or God, is your destination the overall thought is truer than true.

Whether you believe in something bigger than you or simply believe there is something bigger within you, you should seek the stars within you to guide you to it all — not some external place or location which may appear to fulfill some aspect of ‘home.’

Your dreams, wishes and … yes … the starlight to guide you in the darkness of not knowing what to do, where to go and how to get thru whatever it is you are going thru … is all within you.

Your home resides within you.

You are simply looking for a place to … well … place your home that feels right and true. That place is unseen. That place is not really one place <it can actually be many places>.

Here comes the hard part.

Life will not give you any signposts and most of Life will constantly change your direction unseen in the undercurrents of Life.

============

“In the short voyage of a lifetime, we can see the eddies and ripples on the surface, but not the undercurrents changing the main channel of the stream. “

Thomas Mellon

=============

This all suggests you are in control and you are not in control.

Just ponder the fact we often stand upon the deck of our ship admiring the horizon and enjoying the travel & journey only to have some Life undercurrent disrupt our complacency and some version of ‘living Life laziness’ <i.e., if you’re not careful and become actively involved in Life, Life will actively involve itself in your Life>.

This simply reminds us that circumstances beyond our control often disrupt the illusion of what we have, who we are and where we are.

The unseen undercurrent constantly nudges our mind with questions:

What is our purpose?

How can we take control of so many things out of our control?

How do we reconcile the vastness Life offers us … reconcile the bigness that can often appear within reach … and reconcile our desire to be worthy of Life … reconcile it all against the smallness that is us in the roiling sea on which our ship sails?

Will we ever satisfy our dreams for what could be & what we could be?

Meaningful or meaningless?

We struggle with these questions. And all the while we avoid the questions under the guise of “seeking home.’

Ah. Shit.

Suffice it to say, home is not anything physical, it actually resides in the infinite. As a corollary, this would presume if you accept its infiniteness you should be able to see it also has the potential to be infinitely good.

I believe we inherently know this and inherently know that only ‘home’ will truly satisfy us. And that search, that journey, is the satisfaction. I imagine the unfortunate, uncomfortable, truth is the odds are we will never truly find some ‘home’ in which we can live our entire lives.

“Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and applause of the many, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.”

–

Longfellow

===============

Success in business is a trickier thing to talk about than you would expect.

In our ‘positive reinforcement world’ in which ‘everyone contributes and should be included’ we give out more gold stars in the business world than a second grade class. I sometimes think we give out so many rewards that no one can truly tell who the ‘best contributors’ <the ones who we used to call our ‘A players’> are.

In this, business is different than sports. Over an entire season your best players in sports become obvious to everyone. In business it is less obvious. It becomes even less obvious when everyone is getting bonuses and rewards. And it can be even less obvious to the employees themselves as even the A players get the rewards behind the scenes which makes the ‘somewhere less than A’ players start thinking … well … they are the success generators.

I sometimes wonder how we arrived at this commoditization of success in business.

Maybe it is an overreaction to a world where finding fault and seeking blame and uncovering less than perfection.

“We live in a world where finding fault in others seems to be the favorite blood sport. It has long been the basis of political campaign strategy. It is the theme of much television programming across the world. It sells newspapers.

Whenever we meet anyone, our first, almost unconscious reaction may be to look for imperfections.”

Henry B. Eyring

Maybe it is our slightly absurd infatuation with ‘everyone contributes’ and ‘all ideas are good & valuable.’

Yeah. Everyone does contribute in a business <or they get fired>. But not everyone contributes equally on all skills. That is why … uhm … we have departments and specialists and people who get hired to do accounting and sales. And, yes, everyone can contribute to success, but some have a larger impact than others. Does that make the ‘lesser impact people’ be less valuable?

Well, no, but their value generates less, or a different type, of an ROI.

But we don’t seem to want to point that out in an organization in our attempt to make everyone feel equally involved in the success. To be clear. If an organization is well run, everyone DOES contribute to success, but every organization has a hierarchy (even if it isn’t mapped out), just as ever team opts to a ‘captain’ even if one is not designated.

As for ideas?

Well, yes, everyone can come up with ideas and anyone can actually come up with a good and useful idea. But we certainly should not confuse that thought <truth> with the belief all ideas are good and that anyone can come up with the idea needed at some particular moment.

Generating ideas on demand is … well … valuable.

Generating ideas as an outcome of doing your job? … well … that is also valuable but of a different value.

Regardless. Managing success in business is tricky.

It is about balancing the truth that people play roles and offer different skills and some of those roles & skills offer different outcomes & values … to the other truth that organizations are like engines where when all the pieces & parts are working well and in tune the engine sings. But, once again, this doesn’t mean all parts & pieces are of equal value. Some sustain the possibility of horsepower and some actually create the horsepower.

Do you need both?

Sure. But maybe the biggest issue about all of this is the democratization of success in business. If you cannot highlight the successes framed relatively then … well … all successes become equal and therefore anyone believes they are as equally skilled & competent & valuable as everyone else.

That, my friends, is a problem in any organization of any significant size.

Do I believe in hierarchy? Well. Yes and no.

No if it is just layers to have layers & not if it doesn’t permit freedom to permit people to maximize what they have to offer.

Yes if it is because you have placed the appropriate skill in the appropriate position in order to maximize all the pieces & parts.

That said.

It seems to me that we would all be better off if we started thinking about the fact that success, and defeat, is not found in the applause or criticism, but rather resides in each and every employee.

It seems to me that if we encourage more of an individual responsibility & pride that the organization will succeed without having to invest a shitload of energy focusing on worrying about how to recognize success. And, yes, the business itself has a responsibility to foster this belief, attitude & behavior by culturally exhibiting this belief, attitude and behavior.

Far too often the senior management bitches about the lack of employee responsibility without looking in the mirror. And maybe it is in that last sentence which generally encapsulates the contradictory aspects impacting how we view success in business.

We desire everyone to win and feel part of the team and ,yet, the American obsession with competition is more often than not brought to Life in business in some type of individual reviews, rewards & responses.

We inherently understand that the pieces & parts are not all equal in skill and output/outcome and, while talking about ‘everybody wins’, we still create an environment to have ‘someone win’ … believing competition brings out the best in everyone.

Managing that contradiction … well … if you don’t manage it well than success of the overall business suffers.

We all know what makes a business successful, or great, is continual improvement … not an “if it aint broke don’t fix it” attitude. Many American companies such as Ford, Alcoa, Starbucks and Harley Davidson practice continual improvement and systems thinking with great success. Deming is the one who developed the business approach of Continual Quality Improvement. It fosters teamwork and overall organizational success versus encouraging organizational success through individual competition.

Frankly, the idea is complicated and tricky. And it goes against America’s natural business DNA and most companies resist embracing the concept fully instead embracing individual competition <under a smokescreen umbrella of ‘everybody wins’>.

In general managing success in business is tricky for a variety of reasons.

We are too fond of quick fixes.

We are too fond of believing competition is necessary to maximize individual behavior.

We are too fond of not wanting to imply someone is better than someone else at something publicly.

We are too fond of chasing organizational management ideas used successfully by someone else <which is often like putting a hexagon peg in a square hole>.

Anyway.

I am not suggesting this is easy. Success is business is tricky. But I talk with a lot of businesses and I will suggest that most businesses haven’t figured it out. Just as sharing authority and leadership without actually losing it is difficult … sharing success without losing the luster of success is also difficult.

Most businesses are trying but they are a work in progress. I do believe the moment “leaders” recognize that triumph & defeat resides within everyone & empower them to be triumphant, empower them to make some ‘defeat’ decisions (and psychologically make them feel safe in making some of those decisions, the more productive, and healthy, the business will be.

… a longing for something so indefinite as to be indefinable. Love affairs, miseries of life, the way things were, people already dead, those who left and the ocean that tossed them on the shores of a different land – all things born of the soul that can only be felt.

==

Anthony De Sa

———–

“He marveled at the indifference of the world, the way it kept on, despite everything.”

==

Anthony Doerr

————-

Ok. I am fairly sure everyone desires the greater intangible things in life: the things, or thing, you just cannot put words to but you know is out there and you will “know it when you see it or feel it”. Unfortunately, well, the intangible also tends to be elusive.

It is also very very difficult to clearly define or put words to it <hence many people choose to focus on some specific milestone or objective>. I think I would suggest the intangible is elusive because the world is indifferent to our desires. What do I mean? It is relatively uninterested in offering the intangible in tangible form. The world simply tends to fork over tangible crap to us and it is up to us to peel it all back and bask in the intangible good stuff found within.

But that takes time and is more difficult.

Therefore. We tend to seek tangibles. And more tangibles. And then more tangibles. This means that we are almost destined, despite that in our soul we deeply long for something indefinable, to settle for tangible proof that we are showing some progress.

I do not really care what the proof is … just that we settle for it.

What Is Elusive? The definition of “elusive” is:

elusive: evasive, slippery, difficult to find, catch or achieve

Speaking of desiring proof – that is why we often create deadlines. Deadlines are powerful things as we face our longing for the indefinite <and the definite>. More often than not we use the deadline to insure we do not waste too much time on something we are not sure can be easily defined. But think about what a deadline really is.

Today the term is now used, mostly, to refer to “the time by which something must be completed.” In the historical sense a deadline refers to the boundary around a prison which, if prisoners crossed it, they’d be shot by the guards. Wow. Okay. So while deadlines are everywhere in the business world we no longer get shot it does seem like we just get shit when we cross a deadline.

Now. Psychologists have done a boatload of research on the effect of deadlines on people. Invariably the majority of people actually improve performance as a deadline nears. They explain this by something called “the Yerkes-Dodson law.” This law suggests performance increases as arousal <excitement, stress, tension, nervousness> increases. Well. At least up to a point from which performance declines as the person, and senses, are overwhelmed.

Basically this suggests we become more aware of consequences of failing to complete what we want to do as time slips away and act upon that awareness <with some focus because the consequences of not meeting the deadline while may not include being shot certainly includes a load of shit>.

In addition. Deadlines tend to eliminate procrastination mostly because we dislike the unpleasant feeling of consequences of not meeting a deadline. Stick with me because this all has to do with our longing for something indefinite.

Ok. Now comes the next horrible thing that happens as we pursue what we truly long for. We have a deadline in our heads and we encounter something called the planning fallacy. We suck, extraordinarily so, at estimating how much time to allocate for things because our brains, in general, are quite overly optimistic with regard to our own capabilities. Therefore we underestimate time. In addition we do this because our brains have a nasty habit of looking back on past poor time allocation and failed deadlines and blame external causes <and yet the next time the thought will be that this time we will be unencumbered therefore meet our deadline successfully>.

All of this circles back to that ‘arousal’ consequence, which we hate, as it rears its ugly head one more time as our optimistic assumptions crash into the actual reality of the situation. I bring it back to ‘arousal’ because all that painful consequence stuff occursWHEN YOU ARE PURSUING A TANGIBLE GOAL.

The waters get even murkier if you are setting some deadline on how much time you want to spend on pursuing this elusive indefinite thing. But. We are truly optimistic folk. Well. At least some of us are. What one person thinks of as elusive and indefinite another sees hope and opportunity. And depending on where you are in Life your feeling can change. The one consistent steady thing is that at all times there is a longing for something more, some longing for something so indefinite as to be undefinable.

So what can we do? We have to take responsibility for our lives and choices and this indefinite thing. We cannot subvert the longing and suffocate it with the tangible.

To be clear <part 1>. The longing should not dictate our lives and behavior, but it also should not play a role in our lives and actions.

To be clear <part 2>. That isn’t easy. Life can throw a bunch of curve balls and … well … some high hard fastballs. The biggest fastball Life throws at you is what I call “Life comparison shopping.” You shop your life against other lives.

In the good ole days it was called “keeping up with the Joneses” <using one’s neighbors as a standard of comparison for the consumption of material goods>. This sounds silly, but we are human, and it is hard not to notice when your neighbor buys something. But they are not the only standard of comparison. Television shows, magazines, websites, and pretty much anywhere you consume information inundates us with stories about what other people have, wear and do.

Yes. While we know we shouldn’t care mostly because, while we may not articulate it this way, we know conspicuous consumption ubiquitous.

Tangible proof is, well, tangible proof.

The tendency to compare yourself to to other people is fundamental and is going to occur whether or not we intend it. And, yes, in some cases, social comparison is useful. In the absence of objective standards of success, social comparison helps us to evaluate and improve ourselves. And yet, at the same time, sometimes social comparison suggests you are inferior in some aspect <wealth, intelligence, appearance, etc.> which can create some feelings of envy or ‘lesser than.’ Okay. This is where the tangible proof path absolutely frickin’ kills us on this pursuit of something undefinable.

“Lesser than” feelings erode the belief you can ever attain what you long for <I mean your head says “c’mon … if you cannot even be good enough to do that how can you be good enough to attain something you cannot even define .. all you can do is just discuss as something you ‘long for’?”>.

Then we remain on the middle path too long. We start missing out on the dreams. We shelve the longing and inevitably that which is undefinable remains undefined and that which we long for simply becomes an immature pursuit for only those who are dreamers. You justify this decision, and personal behavior, as you walk the middle path by always thinking that eventually you will get around to pursuing this longing … and eventually reach this undefinable thing that will makes you happy.

And then time is gone. And the longing, which is easily dismissed as “shit, I couldn’t even define it anyway”, is still there but the opportunity is gone.

Look. Pursuing something so indefinite as to be indefinable is tough. It is not for the faint of heart. To do so you need to accept that while some results are very tangible others are less so. The secret is to get your head straight from the outset on how ‘performance’ is to be measured then build in the means for measuring activity. I say that because I think the measurement is much more important than setting a deadline.

I mean, well, how can you set a deadline on something you cannot even define? <someone smarter than I would have to figure that out>.

In the end I use this quote:

====

“A rat race is for rats. We’re not rats. We’re human beings. Reject the insidious pressures in society that would blunt your critical faculties to all that is happening around you, that would caution silence in the face of injustice lest you jeopardise your chances of promotion and self-advancement.This is how it starts, and, before you know where you are, you’re a fully paid-up member of the rat pack. The price is too high.”

Jimmy Reid

=====

Part of being a human being is this inherent longing for “something.” Maybe it is captured in that one word: saudade.

“all things born of the soul that can only be felt.”

I am not suggesting we shouldn’t do the day to day stuff that needs to be done nor am I suggesting that deadlines aren’t quite useful for some day to day shit, but I am suggesting that stuff shouldn’t be done at the sacrifice of our longing for “all things born of the soul that can only be felt.”

“At any given point you have the power to say, this is not how the story is going to end.”

–

Anonymous

==================

Well.

I sometimes believe one of the toughest games we play in life is the tug of war between reaching and settling.

Ponder. We do it in business all the time.

“What is our reach goal? … okay … let’s make it a little more realistic.”

Uhm. Is that a reach goal … or a settling goal?

Every day and in almost every situation not only are you mentally, as an individual, assessing ‘reach’ versus ‘more certain attainment’ <which is an evil version of settling>, but everyone around you is sending conflicting signals – “we want to reach a little farther than we think we are capable of … oh … but not too far“.

WTF. This is enough to confuse anyone. You either reach far or you don’t. You either set a settling goal or you don’t.

But, for fuck’s sake, don’t make my head hurt more than it has to on some decisions and choices because you want to feel like ‘we have pushed the limits’ in some false way.

Look. I’m not suggesting this is easy. Our natural temptation is to settle for a little less than a true reach because then we are more likely to meet expectations and less likely to be disappointed. I would guess <no research to back this up> we settle in some form or fashion 90% of the time. I really cannot argue with doing shit this way.

It is simply a tactic to maintain our sanity as we attempt, in reaching our desires & dreams, to limit the roll of the dice between chance & choice. We do so because we know disappointment lurks around every corner of every choice we ever make. And, let’s be honest, the disappointment can show up in so many frickin’ ways it almost seems like meeting a reach expectation comes only in black & white … while disappointments can show up in a myriad of colors <a reverse of how it should and actually is>.

I would like to note here that it really doesn’t help that we constantly get crap advice like this: ‘I encourage people to create something that ONLY you understand. That ONLY you get, because that can make you feel like you have some sort of purpose.’ Look. I absolutely buy the fact a reach goal should be personal or at least contain some aspect of personal so that it just isn’t some bland milestone objective someone else has pointed you at.

But. Well. If you are gonna reach for something, truly reach, part of the prize at the end of the reaching isn’t holding something that only you ‘get’, but rather something you gain that others also see value in. In poetic terms … you want something that covers you in colors that others can see.

==============

“And now I’m covered in the colors”

Halsey

==================

And maybe that is where settling really screws us.

We don’t reach far enough to access the true colors to cover our achievements in to make it worth looking at over and over again.

Regardless. We live in a black & white achievement and outcomes world, not a color world.

While we talk a good game with regard to good character and humanity and ‘purpose driven’ passions almost within the first 5 minutes of any discussion you are gonna get “what do you do”and “what have you done.” If all you can do is talk about “reaching shit” then … well … you are useless as a non-achieving dreamer.

But. If you can point out a string of specific outcomes and achievements most people don’t ask or wonder if they were easily attainable or the fact you attained them was because you had ‘settled for something less than a reach’ … all they do is think of you as a useful achieving productive person.

And therein lies the horrible fate of ‘reaching.’ While we hate the fact that meeting the expectations of others means something, well, it means something. We can try to live a Life not worrying about other people and their expectations but unless our ‘doing compass’ miraculously always points us in the right direction and unless our ‘reach’ is impeccably judged correctly every time and unless the cat’s cradle web of choice & chance happens to fall into perfect symmetry we are doomed to have to face someone’s expectations at some point.

=============

“It’s time for you to live your own life without worrying about the expectations of others.”

Unknown

============

Every day we get tugged side to side … reach or settle.

Every.

Frickin.

Day.

Here is what I know. If you settle for everything, your story will be illustrated in the blacks & whites of certainties, achievements and outcomes. You will try and color the black & whites in some odd colors to spruce them up but (sigh), they are black & white.

If you never reach for anything, you will end you story with chapters of regrets and ‘’what ifs.’ You will have touched only grays and your access to ‘colors’ will be limited. If you reach for something and fall short, your story will have two key chapters:

the first is one filled with the failure to reach & the disappointments

the second is written by how you react to the reach disappointment – avoid future disappointment or seek to try & do better.

If you reach for something, and get it, you will never be the same again. You will have touched colors and seen that life is much more than black and white.

Please. Don’t anyone read anything too much into the ‘what I know’ portion because while the last one I wrote sounds exactly like what everyone wants … there are no guarantees in Life.

Reaching comes with a cost.

Settling comes with a cost.

And sometimes the cost is not dictated by you but rather by some choice & chance metric <which you have little control over>. And sometimes the prize, the benefit, can only be seen by you <a different version of cost>.

I imagine all I really know for sure is that, in general, we settle for far too little far too often.

“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”

–

J.D. Salinger

=================

Well.

This is about business. In today’s world if it doesn’t appear like you are doing something … then … well … damn it … you aren’t doing something <even if you may actually be holding the universe together>.

You have to be doing something that can be seen.

You have to because if you don’t everyone is convinced you are doing nothing. I call this issue … being challenged by the ‘outcome mentality.’ What I mean by that is efficiency driven outcome, or output, is everything. Do more with less is an insidious mantra because this not only suggests ‘more output’ matters but ‘less thinking, more doing’ is the path to more outcome.

That said. So what if your output is … well … holding the universe together.

C’mon. That’s a metaphor.

I’m not truly suggesting the actual universe, but let me talk about business. Sometimes you run across that leader or sometimes a manager or even a young employee <with some potential> who holds the business or the organization together. They appear to you in a variety of forms. They can be a rebel in that they are rebellious to the status quo every inch of the way toward their version of outputs. Some just effectively juggle the efficiency/effective balance. Others learn to weave a strong thread of thinking time into what they do, unseen, and produce a more effective outcome efficiently. That said. Sometimes when you look you cannot see what they are actually doing. They may be often seen doing nothing but standing there leaning on the balcony rail.

Uh oh. In today’s business world that person is screwed.

Look. I’m not suggesting you want people who do nothing, but sometimes people who look like they are doing nothing are actually doing a lot of something. And sometimes it is difficult to measure these people up against ‘outcome focused generators.’

What I mean by that is I have had people in my teams where during review time I have had to stack employees “top-to-bottom” and justify their salary, job status, existence within the organization, whatever review line item you want to call it … based on ‘what have they done.’

Tangible outcome crap.

And, well, sometimes your most valuable employee doesn’t look so hot based on sheer tangible outcome. It is only when you build in intangibles that they rise above the tangible outputters <not sure that is a word>.

Ok.

Any experienced business person reading this will be shaking their head going … “whew … been there” because you have a clear visual of a scrunched up face across the table from you saying things like “well … can’t we get them to do more? … I am struggling to see the comparable value to <insert some ‘outputter name’ here>.” You want to reach across the table and wring their neck shouting “they are frickin’ holding the universe together for god’s sake.”

Holding the universe together is a talent. It is a unique talent to make those around you better and more efficient, more effective and, well, happier <or maybe just more realistically positive in that they lift productivity – quality & quantity>. And sometimes that talent is embodied by ‘not doing anything but standing there.’

I have run across several business people who had the incredible ability to ‘hold the universe together.’ And I have had the incredibly ludicrous experience of having to encourage them to waste time to ‘tangibilize’ <once again … not sure that is a word> what they are doing so people can ‘see’ their value. As a manager, or leader, I imagine one of your responsibilities is to protect these valuable unique people from the challenges of the typical business world view and foster their abilities and opportunities.

Let’s be clear. This has some unique challenges because it has always been that an ‘outputter’ has never understood this type of person or value. Never have and never will. That’s okay … because organizations, just as in Life, need a variety of personalities and talents to be successful.

However. I do get a little concerned that the business world pendulum has swung so far over to efficiency & outcome & output that those who ‘hold the universe together’ is becoming a dying breed. Maybe I am less concerned for the immediate but over time. Because the young people with this talent and ability simply cannot protect themselves from an output world without help. And if all we do in business is to promote outputters … well … enough said. You get it.

I am sure throughout my career I have missed people who ‘could hold the universe together.’ And I rue those mistakes. I take solace in that I have recognized others and tried to herd them through the business gauntlet of ‘all that matters is results <or output>’. All I can say is that while as a leader you take pride in every employee you have the ones who have the ability to hold the universe together hold a special place in your ‘list of things done’ <or list of things ‘I didn’t screw up as a manager’>.

I imagine that is a reminder that in the end, as in the end of your business career or Life, the intangible often measures up more so than the tangible in reviewing ‘what I have done.’

I imagine this is all a reminder to all of us there are people all around us ‘holding the universe together’ in ways we just don’t see — but we benefit.

So before you judge someone for ‘not doing’ take a closer look just to be sure they aren’t holding the universe together.

“But I will find new habits, new thoughts, new rules. I will become something else.”

—–

Divergent

========================

Well.

I encountered a neat thing called the “20 Things” which is a little assignment this small consulting company sometimes uses with people they are considering adding to staff: “What are the 20 things that have defined you – experiences, books, movies, people, travel, challenges, etc.” When a friend told me about it I immediately began scribbling down ‘things.’ It was surprising how fast the important ones are noted and how easy it is to “fill in” to get to 20.

That said … and me being quite comfortable not following rules … I ended up with 15. They show up in no real order except number 1 and number 15.

I purposefully bookended the list with the two most impactful in terms of immediate and ongoing impact. 2 thru 14 can be juggled any way you want.

– my grandfather

The greatest man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. A simple kind man who honored integrity, kindness and truth above all. He taught me more about me, life and how to live Life <without overtly teaching> than anyone I have ever known. He remains my North Star for my life. I can only hope to be half the man he ever was … but at least he gave me something to aim for.

– the pulled foul ball

Sports always came quite easily to me. And then I pulled a foul ball off a Tom Seaver fastball <before I struck out swinging on a slider which disappeared just before I was sure I had the fat part of my bat on it … hey, c’mon, the guy did win 3 Cy Youngs>. Regardless. I realized this was as good as it was going to get with me & sports. It didn’t mean I stopped sports … it just meant that I realized I needed to get going on the rest of my life.

– The Hobbit

The first “real” book I remember. I devoured Hardy Boys & Nancy Drew until there were no more … but when I heard The Hobbit read to me during reading period in elementary school I entered a world of words & imagery & imagination … and thinking of ‘what if.’ It hooked me on books and reading and thinking. The first time I read The Hobbit myself I was still too young to see anything but goblins & elves. I have read it maybe 10 times <probably more> and I still see new things every time I read it.

– Diplomacy <by Henry Kissinger>

I wish I had found this book earlier in my life. On the other hand, I may not have understood it earlier. Kissinger writes about diplomacy, but he is really discussing problem solving. He gave me one thing … “studying history is not analogous but contextual.” More people should heed this lesson. I certainly have learned this lesson.

– Supertramp <my first concert, and more specifically, their encore song “crime of the century”>

I grew up in a house with music. But it all changed at my first concert and especially the encore. Maybe 10 plus minutes of music and film with a growing image of hands on prison bars in space … and I walked out of there in a thoughtful excited daze. I had words & notes & imagery imprinted in my brain from that point on as a powerful tool to inspire me to think in different & creative ways. Music has never left my life <and I have forgiven Supertramp for doing Breakfast in America>. Music and imagery is at the core of how I think and like to express myself <when it is possible and relevant to do so>.

– Spike Lee

I was in my early 30’s in the audience when I heard Spike Lee say these words about his films: “I recognize everything I do impacts how people think … and even what they do … I have a responsibility every time I create anything.” It changed how I viewed what I did and actually how I did it moving forward. Basically … I began assuming responsibility for everything I created.

– unstuck

I was a young manager with far to much responsibility doing the best I could and after one meeting my boss looked at me and said “nice job, they’ve been stuck on that for years but you got them past it.” It was when I realized it appeared like my skill, or ability, was to “unstuck” people, businesses & situations. The truth is from that point on I actively began seeking things to unstuck. Maybe an odd version of ‘finding my passion’ or ‘doing what I love to do’ but I preferred thinking of it as making things unstuck.

– St. Chappelle

I grew up in a home where we were expected to understand religious choices but was, in general, ambivalent to religion. I was always indifferently interested in religion. I imagine I just took a pragmatic view on life in which God didn’t really enter into the equation. And then I visited St. Chappelle in Paris <across the street from Notre Dame>. As I entered the petit chapel and the sunlight filtered through the floor to ceiling stained glass it is the closest I have ever felt to not only believing in God but actually believing I was in the presence of God. I am still not religious but I respect religion and I imagine, in some small way, I better understand how God can positively affect someone’s life.

– Madman Across the Water

The first time I heard Elton John’s Madman Across the Water album I think I immediately stole the lyrics from the album sleeve. The words made me think. The words made me create images in my head. The words inspired me to try and create words of my own that made others think & create images. That album made me a “words guy.” Plus. Every song on that album was just darn good.

– suicide

I believe anyone who has been impacted by someone close to them committing suicide is never the same again. She was beautiful, kind and a friend. And she left with an entire life ahead of her. I imagine I felt like I did not do my part to show her what great things lay ahead of her. I vowed to never make that mistake again.

– “I do not really care”

Graduate school. Case study discussion

“Mr. McTague … what would you do?” Me? “Well … I do not really care.”

Flippant careless response. It ended up on the front board for the remainder of the semester. And I should have been hung out to dry. I was technically correct … the point <of which I seemed to have grasped fairly early in business life> is that there are several ‘right’ or even ‘best’ solutions to a challenge, but I should have realized that words and how you articulate an idea & thought are almost as important as the idea itself. I vowed to never make that mistake ever again. A good thought can die if it is not articulated well.

– “do not go gentle into that good night”

I have a love/hate relationship with poetry. I am fascinated with how words can be put together in ways that make you feel something inside, but all the rules of ‘effective and proper’ poetry drove me nuts. It was so constricting for something that should be so free. And then I came across Dylan Thomas’ “do not go gentle.” Whew. I found my anthem. Some call it ‘bull in a china shop living’ I simply point to ‘do not go gentle into the good night.’ It isn’t about dying it is about living. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. It was a great lesson.

– Polly

My first boss. A woman in a man’s industry <advertising> who was in a senior position and did it her way. But with the flexibility to permit the next generation to flourish. She didn’t know shit about these new fangled computers that all the young people were talking about <this was in the 80’s> but she put one on every one of our desks. She could do the same thing by hand faster than we could do it on the computer but she kept sending us back to our computers. She mentored the youngest, guided the more experienced and managed everyone. She permitted individuality and built a team. Oh. And she set me up with her daughter. Anyway. She taught me how to be a boss and I was straight out of school. Most importantly, she taught me women were essential to progress & productivity in business. Simplistically, I owe everything in my career to a woman.

– Kiev war museum <although I could have put the Holocaust Museum here>

Perspective. Nothing provides perspective in life than viewing the kind of death inflicted by one human on another human. And not just ordinary death but death in the extreme. I cried in both of these places. I could pound out some horrible numbers on my keyboard that would make your head hurt to express this learning tangibly … but why?

Simply. I cried. Humans can be very cruel if they are not careful.

– To Kill a Mockingbird

My bookshelves are strewn with books I value and love. It is tempting to list the best of the best because they all made a positive impact and have been reread time and time again. But when one book is simply ‘the one’ why invest energy overthinking. To Kill a Mockingbird is my ‘one.’ I fell in love with Scout … her words and thoughts and questions. I still ask the same questions looking at today’s world and think of Scout’s thoughts daily. Harper Lee showed us that sometimes a child can see clearer than the most brilliant adults in the world. Listening to the young reminds us of things we have forgotten and they can actually teach us many things through the simplicity of youth. Regardless. Everyone should read this book.

That’s it. I had a bunch of other ‘things’ fighting for the 16 thru 20 slots but, frankly, they were just at a different level than 1 thru 15. I believe lists like this should be about quality and not quantity.

This is a worthwhile exercise for everyone. Everyone’s list will look different … and some people may actually have 20 worthwhile events/learning moments instead of just 15 … but who cares. It isn’t a competition. It is simply reflecting upon who you are as a person. This exercise reminded me we are all architects of our own Life. While many things are out of our control, many things are ours to do … or not do.

Is my list done? Gosh. I hope not. “This I am today … that I will be tomorrow.“

“Anyone who believes that exponential growth can go on forever in a finite world is either a madman or an economist.”

―

Kenneth E. Boulding

========

Well.

This is about business and how there is a constant short term measurement hammer pounding on you, yet, if you want to be successful long term you have to, well, master the long term view at the same time. That said. Let me begin with economics and the fact as an undergraduate economics major I was bludgeoned with economic theory.

Invisible hands slapped me around with stimulus, growth, recessions and an odd mix of causal theory <which was, frankly, anything but cause & effect>. What they never told me was that once I got into the business world I would be simultaneously bludgeoned with a short term hammer and a long term hammer.

Yes. I mean bludgeoned.

Fairly early in one’s career you get hammered over and over and over again with regard to attention to details and meeting project objectives and making sure deadlines are met <short term hammer> only to find you get hammered with “you shouldn’t just do what is told we want you to think about the overall objective” <long term hammer>. This is your first taste of the short term/long term bludgeoning.

It only gets worse once you have to start reporting results and effectiveness. Suffice it to say business has an unhealthy relationship with, well, “term.” I don’t care if it is short term or long term, “term” is often the looming scythe in the daily, monthly & annual business pit & pendulum.

Despite all the silly “long term planning & plans” rhetoric, reality shows that we constantly think only about the short term … well … until the next term. This chafes with my economist learning as I was always taught economic theory always has to consider the long term. This conflict is not new or one of the things that has recently surfaced in the business world. It has been there <although it may be exacerbated by current financial reporting milestone methodology> since the dawn of business.

Worse? The conflict even slides into silly trite rhetoric. There is a constant bludgeoning of “if we do what is right today everything will be fine tomorrow” <focus on NOW>.

Well.That tripe ignores that “tomorrow” isn’t 24 hours away <which would prove this thoughtless thoughtful thought correct> but rather tomorrow in a business sense is 24 months away.

Looking thru that lens short term affect is more often than not, well, not the same as the desired long term affect. It may kind of look like it but over time the little differences become big differences.

Anyway.

This isn’t about economic theory this is more about business and managing short term versus long term. To begin that discussion let’s start with the premise that you kind of have your shit together and know what you want long term <vision stuff: where you want the business to be and what you want the business to stand for>. Because if you are in that position than I would suggest that becomes what I would call “our struggle to relax.”

======

“Relax.

You will become an adult. You will figure out your career. You have a whole lifetime; time takes time.”

Johanna de Silentio

=======

The whole concept of being able to relax in business is grounded in a belief that there is time. A lifetime in fact. But. In a competitive business world it is difficult to believe, let alone accept, you actually have a whole lifetime. In fact. The numbers suggest you do not. More businesses fail than succeed.

However. I would ask all business people: is this a failure of imagination & belief or is this a failure to shed short term pressures?That just may be the eternal unanswerable business question. And while you sit there trying to answer that question <with the good intentions to actually do the right thing> the business world will be bludgeoning you with “short term, short term, short term” like Chinese water torture until you succumb to the short term.

It is hard to relax through all of this.

The business world does everything in its power to make you do anything but relax. Day in and day out it demand you do, do, do & go, go, go. And that in itself makes it damn easy to not think long term.

In fact.

If you fell into this trap you could quite easily believe you are doing all the right things, i.e., meeting the demands of the day & the week, all the while assuming that long term this insures success.

Trust me. This is incredibly easy to do.

Here is a business truth.

While short term seems like a necessary survival tool … time takes time. What I mean is that “relax” doesn’t mean completely stopping what you are doing nor does it mean ignoring the truly urgent … what it does mean is not making everything urgent and not stopping completely for every perceived ‘crisis’ that occurs. What it does mean is actually incorporating some thinking into all doing. I would also note that nor does relax mean investing lots of time to making plans. While plans are quite helpful in providing construct relax is actually about consciously addressing decisions without unnecessary haste.

Anyway. I think business has this incredibly uncomfortable relationship with “term” because it is uncomfortable with the “un-permanence” of everything good that pervades the business world.

Here is what I mean.

While we tend to embrace the need to be flexible and adaptive <but … in truth … may not actually do so in practice> we also tend to ignore that the need to be flexible is actually driven by the state of things – this is a state of un-permanence. Sounds uncomfortable, doesn’t it?

A business truth and a foundational business principle, which most of us purposefully ignore, is most things truly good in business, and many of the things that actually make a business successful, have an extremely high degree of ‘temporary.’ Wow. That sure does explain why no one can frickin’ relax, huh?

We seek perfection in all tasks as well as some permanence to that perfection and yet … perfection, at best, is temporary.

We seek to make effective plans to follow and yet … plans, at best, are temporary.

We seek to reach long term objectives thru short term steps and yet … the future is dependent upon decisions and not a plan <which is most likely temporary in true effectiveness anyway>.

Yeah. I struggle to find “relax” anywhere in what I just typed.

———————-

“The world moves into the future as a result of decisions, not as a result of plans. Plans are significant only insofar as they affect decisions.”

Kenneth E. Boulding

—————–

In the end I would suggest that business will always struggle with the “tension of the terms.” And most likely we will sit in offices bitching & moaning about which ‘term’ <short or long> is more important or how to balance the two or how to develop some silver-lined plan to manage the ‘terms balance.’ But most importantly … we will continue to ignore the real issue … the ‘un-permanence’ of all things that are business.

Why does this matter?

Well. If you actually believe that navigating the short term & long term aspects guarantees permanent growth,well, don’t forget all things business are un-permanent.

“But today’s society is characterized by achievement orientation, and consequently it adores people who are successful and happy and, in particular, it adores the young.

It virtually ignores the value of all those who are otherwise, and in so doing blurs the decisive difference between being valuable in the sense of dignity and being valuable in the sense of usefulness.”

―

Viktor E. Frankl

=============

“The world has changed so much.

You’re either doing really well and everyone expects you should leave to take what they perceive to be a better job – or you’re not doing well and you should get fired.

The job is a good fit. You do a quality job, be successful, you have good times and great times – the overwhelming feeling in our country is you can’t do that. That’s not possible.

You either need to be climbing or you need to get fired.”

——

Ben Jacobson <the basketball head coach of Northern Iowa Panthers>

================

(originally written in 2015)

So.

I am all for outcomes.

I am also all for ‘valiant attempts’ and I certainly believe trying is significantly more important than not trying … but … at some point … you gotta have some results.

That said. The pendulum in society has swung all the way over to achievement matters. In fact we are in a society where the Value of a person seems to be either driven solely by their outcomes/results or weighted so heavily by the outcomes/results that the effort portion, how hard & how you ‘play the game’,has minuscule value.

That’s bad. Bad for society. Bad for Life lessons. Bad for business. Just bad. It is bad because that means many people will ignore the price they will pay to achieve the outcome because the outcome, in and of itself, will contain all the value.

Yeah. Think about that. Taken to an extreme that would mean the attempt has zero value and trying & failing has zero, if not negative, value.

Ok. That is bad.

======

“But he did not understand the price. Mortals never do.

They only see the prize, their heart’s desire, their dream … but the price of getting what you want, is getting what you once wanted.”

Neil Gaiman

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This thought becomes even worse , for society, because it also suggests “what are we willing to do to get what we want” is a zero sum game. What do I mean? Well. You are willing to do anything it takes to get what you want <the achievement>.The hell with rules … they are for people who don’t value achievement enough.

“The hell with guardrails and guidelines! They are for people who are scared to do what it takes.” This attitude cleverly steals away freedom of choice in that it suggests the only choice is the one that ensures achievement. This attitude strips choices of anything truly worthwhile like dignity and respect and humanity because all of those things are not criteria for what is the ultimate value – the result or outcome.

I say all this because by recognizing the enemy, by recognizing the issue or the problem, I can choose to face it. I would suggest that everything can be taken from you but one thing — the freedom to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances and to choose one’s own way in doing things. I would suggest that between any beginning and any end, or outcome; let’s just say that there is a space. And in that space is our power to choose what to do, how to do it and maybe even how to respond to whatever shit happens in that space.

I would argue within that space lies our growth and our freedom and, well, our value. And I believe more of our value is derived from that space than any outcome or number of achievements we will ever make.

I would argue that while achievement actually had three components <a> the initial step into the attempt itself, <b> the ‘space’ or whatever takes place in-between the step that begins and the final step that represents an acceptance that an outcome has occurred and <c> the result itself … it is the wretched hollow in between that defines not only the outcome but who and what we are as a person.

Now. To be clear. All three phases deserve personal credit.

Deciding to make the attempt, to take the step and try, is commendable.

Doing your best during the attempt is commendable.

And an outcome, failure or success, if you have done the best you can do … is commendable.

I am simply saying, should you follow through on all components, that it is the ‘space in between’ that ultimately creates the value.

Regardless. I would argue that we need to remind society of this and businesses for sure. And while this societal attitude may be doing is darndest to blur the decisive difference between being valuable in the sense of dignity and being valuable in the sense of usefulness I tend to believe the rising younger generation of workers, doers and thinkers are sensing the value in “the space”.

I tend to believe that the rising younger generation not only senses, but seeks; you can maintain dignity and achieve usefulness in terms of outcomes. We older folk shouldn’t suffocate this attitude and rather breathe Life into that belief <and empower it so that they can maybe create a generation of business better than the one we created>.

Look.

Results do matter. Achieving an outcome is important. And ‘winning’ is always preferable to ‘losing.’ But none of these things should ever come at the expense of dignity, respect and honor.

Achieving with dignity.

Winning with respect.

An honorable outcome.

That should be the definition of an outcome generation … not just ‘achieve, win, outcome above all.’

<insert a sigh here>

I have been trying to avoid using Trump as an example of shit that I write about, but on this topic it is difficult to not do so.

Trump embodies value solely found in outcome <or win>.

Trump embodies the wretchedness of ‘soulless competition.’

Trump embodies winning is all that matters <at the expense of everything else>.

I say that because if society is challenged in its current ‘achievement is all that matters’ focus we will now have as our main role model the epitome of ‘achievement is all that matters.’ For anyone who believes that how you win matters, like I, this is going to be a day in/day out battle for the soul of society.

Everyone deserves to win.

Everyone should have the opportunity to win.

Everyone should experience ‘win.’

But. Everyone needs to remember that the value of ‘the win’ is not in the win itself but rather in the space that exists between that first step and the actual outcome.

In the end.

The pendulum in society has certainly swing way over to achievement orientation and not with any real benefit (that I can discern) with regard to increased, or even enhanced, outcomes & results. In fact. It seems like in our enthusiasm for results we have stripped the meaning out of any results we have actually achieved. To me, that seems like hollow achievement which then translates into a hollowing of society on a grander scale. Yes. This is leading to a grander narrative around Purpose & meaningfulness but it would behoove us to have a tough discussion over achievements & how we have an unhealthy fixation on achievements in society.

“The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself.”

―

Peter Drucker

======================

Disruption. New!. Radical innovation. Hardly a day goes by where someone isn’t claiming the newest, best, different-est, whizbang idea the word had ever seen. Everyone believes they have something to sell you, or the world, which will “disrupt” the way everything is currently done.

Typically, maybe 80+% of the rhetoric is misguided <but often well intended>.

Truth: Success, more often than not, is not creating something new forcing people to do something different, but rather fitting in <in a new way> what they are currently doing. New is not good in and of itself. As I have noted before everyone should always seek “optimal newness.”

Regardless.

Fitting in leads to a discussion on persuasion versus accepting. Persuading someone that they should do, or try, something versus having someone accept something as part of the natural flow of Life & what they do.

This leads to a discussion on Clotaire Rapaille versus Ernest Richter.

Clotaire Rapaille was all about ‘fitting in’ by encouraging marketers & businesses to seek codes & cultural cues so people could see themselves in not only what you say, but in the products/services being offered.

Ernest Dichter was known as the father of focus groups. If you are cynical you could suggest he was the master of persuasion techniques <to manipulate emotional & rational triggers>.

Simplistically I believe this is about leading people to things they want, as opposed to persuading people they want something. This may appear to be semantics but trying to get people to try things often pivots on semantics & nuance. If you want success Innovations, and selling things, is about watching behavior and creating products that people aspire to have <even if they don’t know they truly aspire to it or not>. In fact. I think it was Ford who said that if he asked consumers what they wanted, they’d say a faster horse and carriage. People only have the capacity to tell you what they know.

This leads me to what I call “the unlearning process”. Fitting in, in part, is asking some people to let go of conventional wisdom and, yet, not actually asking anyone to think unconventionally with regard to what they like & want.

When you approach change <or asking someone to do something> this way you begin to find things you often think are really important just aren’t that important. When you start seeing consumers as people <instead of persuasion cues>, you realize you’re not a very big part of their world in the scheme of things and , yet, you CAN become an essential part of the weave of their Life. Looking at it that way suggests you begin by saying “ok, how can I fit?”

This is why I have always hesitated to embrace Richter-like research & persuasion because I believe it’s more important to learn about what people feel than what they think. There’s been enough psychological and biological research done to demonstrate how decision-making really happens. It largely happens in a part of the brain that doesn’t have a capacity for language <people struggle to find words to describe what they feel>, yet, the vast majority of market research requires consumers to use language to describe what are really emotional responses. I call it malpractice, because you’re going to get an answer, and you’re going to get data, and you’re going to feel like you’ve heard from consumers, but you’re asking them questions that they almost can’t give a right response to. They’ll rummage around for rational reasons while the truth is your searching for some gut reasons.

That is where codes, cues and Clotaire become important.

Brands really only exist because of emotion. If products were all commodities, it would just be a rational computation. If salt was really just salt you’d just buy the cheapest. I can’t really tell you why Morton’s is better but I just know it is.

And when you rummage around for reasons, no matter how good a researcher you are, I would suggest reason vary by situation & context <ponder: do you decide where to go for lunch exactly the same way every day?>.

This is where I get a little sideways with most research. Most times we want to talk about us, our product or service or even <sadly> our brand. Yeah. we go thru the motions of talking & asking about them but do so with what we want in mind … not who they are, what they do and what hey want ><regardless of my product or service>. We don’t seek to ‘fit in’ but rather persuade or sell.

You need to sit down with people in the target audience and understand their “codes” – their mental imprints. If you do you begin thinking about how to share your offering to fit into their lives. The better I understand your general codes, the easier it is for me to fit my product into your life. People can’t always give you a reason for why they do what they do, but you’ll see body language, a shrug or the roll of an eye. There’s something in their behavior that begins to tell you what the feeling is.

This all gets me to stories. In general I think we get a lot of shit wrong with regard to storytelling.

Yes. People are attracted to stories. Using tension, using conflict <hero, maybe even a villain, conflict, resolution> is almost necessary to create a story worth paying attention to.

No.

Stories about your product, or even your customer, in and of themselves run the risk of maybe being relevant but miss the bullseye of “fitting in.”

Yes.

There is a difference between relevance & fitting in.

A story can be relevant but without the right codes/cues someone may think “doesn’t fit in with my view of life.” I also believe if you focus on fitting in instead of some uncomfortable persuading your story will naturally access components of life to make it more relatable.

In the end.

I believe we don’t have this discussion – fitting in versus persuading – often enough. I think there would be a lot less misguided, off the mark (and bad) content & less useless (or failed) innovations.

I saw this quote/question posted on a-thousand-words.tumblr.com and I had to stop and think. And, ultimately, the phrase got stuck in my head like a bad 70’s song with a catchy beat.

Ok.

Even worse than a bad song I associate this phrase with a typical incredibly stomach churning feeling.
The words “was this not what you wanted?” more often than not creates an angst driven internal churning. Needless to say … not many good feelings get tied to this phrase.

That said. My thoughts crisscrossed between business and Life.

This is the business version of “was this not what you wanted?”

Ok. I don’t care if you are just starting out in business and are sitting in your manager’s office handing them something or you are the most senior of senior managers if you are faced with a situation where you find the words “was this not what you wanted?” coming out of your mouth it is, well, not good. It generates a sinking feeling which is a combination of real tangible <I wasted my time and will now have to work on this more> and real intangible <I didn’t meet expectations>.

This all may sound oddly surprisingly – the fact that doing what someone wants is a perilous path in business. You would think that following orders could never be perilous. But, yet, it indeed often is.

First.

The main peril resides in the fact many people do not really know what they want <hence the stunningly tortuous “I will know it when I see it”>.

Secondly.

Sometimes … well … the initial ‘here is what I want’ is very wrong. Sometimes even frightfully wrong. And I say that on even the most basic tasks you are tasked with. Managers are humans too <although they sometimes act like aliens> and many times they unthinkingly <or less than thinkingly> want some specific task checked off a to do list and set you off on your merry way to ‘do what I want you to do.”

Now.

All that said. It would be incredibly easy for me to suggest that giving people what they want is a business career destined for failure.

I will not. And I cannot.

Consistent delivery at work is most likely the most valued attribute an employee can offer. Without it you provide less tangible value as well as maybe the most important failure – your manager has less trust and therefore knows they have to invest more energy & focus on you. That is the kiss of death for an employee.

While doing what is wanted taskwise can be a surprisingly movable target, if you can master it, you become an extremely valuable employee or business partner. Yeah. Valuable <do not ever completely commoditize or devalue the importance of consistency>.

However.

Consistent delivery can also be a negative to an employee. <insert a mental “yikes” here> That is because it does have a nasty habit of nearing ‘commodity-like’ behavior. The implication being “anyone can do that.” And while that is more often than not a wrong perception … it is a perception nonetheless.

There is a bunch of advice, some good and some bad, with regard to how to avoid the ‘was this not what you wanted’ scenario but that’s not really the point. The point is no matter how good the advice you are stuck in the wretched hollow in between need and want. And in that wretched hollow you are guessing. You have received specific direction on what is wanted tangibly <uh oh … is that just the ‘basic delivery’ – and I want more – or is this the ‘desired actual delivery’?> in addition you have most likely also received some open ended “don’t just do … I want you to think about what you are doing” thereby creating some nebulous ‘want’ objective.

To be clear on the latter.

Some managers cop out on that by saying “I didn’t need you to think on this one I just needed you to do what I told you to do on this.” It is a cop out. And if they are honest with themselves … it is a lie. If you have said once, at any time and any place and within any project scenario, “I want you to think an offer some additional thinking” that creates an unsaid halo over everything else that comes after. And, frankly, managers grab this halo and shove it in your face whenever they choose.

Anyway.

Unlike in Life <where this can be fairly resolvable because it is internally driven> in business this is not resolvable despite what experts may suggest. There will always be a wretched hollow in between need & want. In business terms that is most likely called “added value.” In business you are constantly navigating value provided. And that value is always partially need and partially want driven.

What I can tell you unequivocally if all you do is give someone what they ‘want’ more often than not you will end up far too frequently delivering stupid shit that doesn’t help the situation. It would be simplistic to suggest that success in business resides solely in giving others the things they need, and not the things they want because , as noted earlier, business truth typically lies somewhere in between.

—-

“Don’t give them what you think they want.

Give them what they never thought was possible.”

Orson Welles

—

Not knowing exactly what you want is actually typical. Most of the time business people don’t know what they want. And while that may sound like they are stupid … it is not driven <most of the time> by stupidity. It is more often than not driven by an inherent belief that everything can be better. And it is also driven by an inherent belief that ‘better’ is something they have either not thought of or have not had time t think of <hence the desire to have you think because somehow you have the time to think when they don’t>.

Not knowing exactly what you want is actually typical. This is because … well … there is a bigger picture and a smaller picture. Some business people have a grasp of the bigger vision but are sketchy on the details of how to attain the bigger picture. Some business people have a grasp of the littler vision but are sketchy on how to attain the more nebulous panoramic bigger picture.

Not knowing exactly what you want is actually typical. That is because most business people are not particularly good at navigating big and small at the same time. and by “most” I mean junior, middle and senior business people.

This is not to suggest you should simply accept “was this not what you wanted?” as standard operating procedure. This is also not to suggest that you shouldn’t feel the sinking feeling every time you say it in business <because that feeling NEVER goes away … and I kinda think it shouldn’t because it is a reflection of meeting expectations which is a good measure for a good business relationship as well as personal assessment>.

This is to suggest the phrase is a reflection of the constant line you walk between the head and the wallet in business. I will also suggest that walking the fine line between need and want, sometimes this is the line between strategy <future value> and execution <present value>, means you are constantly teetering between good performance and bad performance.

And that is … well … harrowing.

It is harrowing not just personally but in the larger picture. You cannot have a long term strategy without delivering on a short term strategy. And you cannot be successful long term if all you do is deliver day in and day out focused on a short term strategy. This is true of a larger business as well as personal career.

I do not have any simple trite expert advice to offer today <unlike some of the tripe you will find online from so called experts>. Personally I have always focused on “what they need” without sacrificing what they want. I feel I can do so because in my experience most business people rarely are 100% wrong in stating what they want because most times they now more than I do about what they are in the business of doing.

And even that said, I have sat in hundreds of offices and businesses and said “was this not what you wanted?” … painfully I may add. I may have figured out a way to say it differently but in the end it is all just the same.