It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve written on my own blog! Yes…I know…life can sometimes get insanely crazy, but I will no longer neglect my responsibility here!

Thank you for being so patient…and thank you for your support! Got plenty of updates for you:

I am now a Brand Ambassador for Voice Of Hair! Follow them via Instagram as well! I am not a Contributing Writer for their blog, and I also submit pictures via their site to show case the newest and latest hair styles.

I also have a published piece via Jet Magazine! I was able to submit a post regarding a few simple business tips.

I am an official third quarter blogger for The Boss Network! This is a network that has been sited by Forbes and Inc Magazines as one of the top ten networking sites for women in business!

I am back into runway modeling, and loving it!

I am also back in the studio singing and recording, with a show this month with my Uncle Kirk Whalum!

To say that I have been busy, is an understatement, however it is NOT a complaint! My gifts are making room for me to move and grow, and I appreciate being handed the opportunity to serve in such ways. I will be posting more on my opinions about some of the things that are happening in the world as well. So much has happened since I last SERIOUSLY blogged, and my views on so many things are different…would LOVE to share and get your feedback.

Being in love has got to be one of the most amazing feelings ever…next to seeing your newborn son or daughter for the first time after labor (so I hear). That “in love” feeling is also amazing when you are loved back.

Well…now knowing what love is, I also know what love is not. I’m not an authority on the subject, but the heart will never lie to you.

Let’s go:

Love should never make you feel fear.

Love should not feel like a “chore”.

Love should not be extremely hard or feel tough.

Love should never make you feel as though you are alone.

If someone loves you, you should never feel as though they just “don’t care”.

Love should never place you in a state of confusion.

Love never fails; if it’s hurting you, then it isn’t love.

Love should never feel as though it isn’t supportive; love IS an anchor and something that grounds you, holding you steady in the midst of ANYTHING.

Love should never make you question your decision TO love (deep)…AND FINALLY…

LOVE NEVER LIES…

I won’t part my lips to say I Love You and not mean it…that’s the problem though; people say it, knowing full well that it’s empty and FAR from sincere.

Your best bet? Pray before you commit yourself to someone. Let God order your steps in a new or even a more seasoned relationship! You can even get better footing w someone if you have fallen off track, yet you all are on the same page, and willing to work at the relationship. Do the work BEFORE things go sour (if they ever do). Just make sure that you know that “flowers, bells, whistles, and candy” ALL of the time is not real. There will be disagreements, heated discussions, anger, etc., but love has the extreme and undeniable power to conquer any of those things. Just have enough sense to keep an open mind.

I had a different post that was to go up for the Hump Day Blog, but I HAD to touch on this. And it all stemmed from a photograph on Instagram that I am in TOTAL agreement with.

An absolute truth…

For those who may not be familiar w what I actually look like, I am a “dark-skinned” African-American Woman. Yet, in order to be considered “pretty” or “beautiful”, the skin tone that carries the most beauty, stereotypically, is one w a lighter hue. The phrase “you are pretty for a dark skin girl” has been said to me on several occasions, and each time, it was not taken as a compliment…because it’s NOT a compliment. Saying someone is pretty FOR any reason other than just being “pretty” is insulting, rude, offensive, disrespectful and extremely ignorant. It’s the same as saying something like ‘you are very attractive for a business owner’–does that make any sense? Neither does the message in that photo…

When I was a little girl, living in the South, I was often teased FOR my dark skin. I was called all kinds of names, and words do indeed hurt (you can lie to yourself if you want to). I would come home crying to my parents about how I was made fun of, and all because I was usually the child w the darkest skin in my classes. Thankfully, I was blessed w parents and extended family who always encouraged me, loved me, and accepted me w everything that I had. I have always been beautiful to them because I was a part of them. But w them loving and validating me (as parents and family SHOULD do), it’s NOTHING like realizing your worth on your very own. The very first time I heard someone say to me ‘you know, you are pretty for a dark skin girl’, I was angered. I vividly remember saying, in one of those instances, ‘you wanna run that by me again?’–they looked at me as if to say ‘did I say something wrong?’, and I proceeded to explain that I’m not pretty FOR a dark skin girl, but that I am a “pretty girl”. They reluctantly received what I was saying…good…just as long as they “got it”… (sidebar: me being a “pretty girl” has nothing to do w my Sorority lol).

I am a beautiful, dark-skinned woman…not beautiful FOR a dark-skinned woman; there is a difference in the two statements; a very BIG difference. I take great care of my skin (I’m actually pretty anal about it lbs), and it’s blemish free and soft to the touch (thanks to Drop’s skin care secrets). I keep myself together because that’s something that I love to do for me; others just take notice. I have a desire to encourage as many people as I can, and I try to look for ways to constantly improve “me”. Outside of that, I believe that I am beautiful; so that in and of itself MAKES me beautiful.

It’s always a good thing to watch what you say and how you say something. Don’t worry though; if you say this to me, I’ll get you straight!

One thing I’ve noticed in my adult years, is that kids aren’t the only ones who don’t particularly like to “share”. Big ole grown men and women have a difficult time either sharing the spotlight, acknowledging a milestone in the life of another, or are just down right all about self.

I know I’m not the only one who has experienced some form of “hatred” or pettiness directed at them. In every single situation, everyone has that “thing” which sets them apart from the next person. And that’s ABSOLUTELY the way it should be. For example, I am a singer. God gave me that very sweet gift, and I use it #wisely. However, God also gave Faith Evans, Brandy, Dorinda Clark-Cole, and August NightinGale those very same sweet gifts. My sound is not like theirs; and because I appreciate my own gift over anything, I can celebrate the impact that THEIR gifts have had, and continue to have, on my musical ear. To attempt to chip away at them as artists, downplay their success, or to completely try to copy their styles, means that my focus has shifted away from my own gift. There’s nothing wrong w my gift…and I can celebrate them as well as celebrate my own. Those women mentioned above can straight up and down SING. Period. They have a gift that they work on continuously…and so do I! If there’s enough room for all of those vocal beasts to walk around and ALL be amazing, there’s also room for me to be just as awesome in my own way!

As a community of “people”–not focusing on any specific race (because every race “hates” on another)–we need to do better in learning what our own personal value is FIRST. I said this yesterday in response to a post that I was reading…”so much would NOT take place when a person is secure in themselves; and so much WILL take place when a person is NOT secure in themselves”. Just think: if you are confident in your own abilities, another person’s gifts/talents won’t sideswipe or impact yours at all. Your belief in self HAS to be first priority. No one will be able to do anything in the fashion that YOU do things; focus on that! You are a brand…yes #you…and there is enough room for you to “make it”! The next person is also a brand. If you are lucky enough to experience your neighbor’s blessing/breakthrough, praise God for it; because that means He’s in your neighborhood (My Daddy says this OFTEN…and it’s so true; I’m living this now)! I have met some people in such a short period of time, who have received tremendous blessings in their personal and professional endeavors, and I’m thankful to be able to SEE it!

I MUST thank all of my #true supporters in my business ventures, and the ones close enough to see what I’ve been blessed w in my personal life; I love you and I thank God for all of you. God made enough room for EVERYBODY to get it! Celebrate and be grateful for the space provided to you, and you’ll be able to easily celebrate someone else’s!

I’m the LAST person to try and slide my way into someone’s personal affairs, however there is always a time where a person can self reflect, regroup, reinvent, etc. I don’t care who you are either…there is no way that remaining the same will produce different results. :O)

With that said, I’ve come up w a list of questions that I feel need to be answered…but to yourselves. If you want to answer them publicly, then so do, because guess what…that’s your business and your choice. But regardless, folks’ lives are overdue for a sprucing.

Maybe a nice lil walk would be a good way to ponder these questions…

Or…go to a place like this one in your mind…

Time to go though…1. What “mindless behavior” can you cease in order to achieve your goals?2. Sooooo…do you even have a list of goals?3. When’s the last time you spent time w God?4. How are you using your gifts?5. Who are you envious/jealous of?6. How are you giving back to your community?7. How often do you tell a loved one (your choice of who) that you love them/appreciate them?8. If you plan to be a Wife/Husband one day, are you taking the time to check yourself of behaviors that you need not bring into a relationship as serious as that? (you do INDEED have to practice those behaviors which you plan to make permanent…and they will become permanent)9. That one person that doesn’t add ANYTHING to your life…why are they still allowed to be involved in your decision-making?10. Do you seek to find the positive in a situation?11. Are you one who always seems to think that you have these “pseudo-haters”? *rolls eyes*12. Living above your means?13. What sacrifices are you making to leave that situation (i.e. relationship/job/etc) that you constantly complain about?14. Did you know that perception REALLY IS REALITY? (Rather unfortunate truth, but a truth all the same…)15. How do you handle conflict?16. Are you “selfish” or “selfless”?17. You have dreams of becoming a designer/business owner/etc…do you know how to form a complete sentence? (I’m not even being funny…it’s just TONS of so-called “Bosses” out here w no idea of how to use correct grammar, amongst other things)18. Are you always the one telling everyone what your next move is?19. Are you ashamed of the love you’re in/person you’re with? 20. Being bold/blunt is definitely a great thing…do you know how to be “tactful” though?21. What is your prayer life looking like?22. Who do you trust?23. Who trusts you?24. You solicit support for your endeavors…when’s the last time YOU supported an endeavor?25. Are you always “right”?27. Hell yeah you can shop til you drop and flaunt your digs…you still stayin’ at the crib or do you have your own?28. What does your faith rest in?29. What are you afraid of?30. Who are you living your life for?31. Did you realize that there was no question 26? (ha! Had to throw a curve ball)

Your greatest investment is yourself…or are you investing in what goes ON your “self”. That’s whack…that stuff has no value in the grand scheme of things…you may look good (you “may” *shrugs*), but styles are always changing. Trends are fleeting; truth is forever; if you lie to or cheat yourself, you will have no problems doing the same thing to me or the next person. So before someone else gets the opportunity to “tell you who YOU are”, why not figure that out for yourself. #ThankMeLater