All your friends will like him...
He won't upset your parents...
Always willing to please...
He's not really into his football...
Never breaks wind...
Eternally faithful...
Good listener...
Useful flotation device...surely the perfect man?

Men, be aware, be very aware. This so called 'wife' can't cook. Not even a boiled egg, and let's admit it men, we like a runny boiled egg with soldiers on saturday morning before we mow the lawn (my friend Ellen has something to complain about her 'husband' as well, didn't mow her lawn, and didn't change the oil in her car!). I had to starve on Saturday morning, and I didn't have the energy to mow the lawn. I ended up watching Scraphead Challenge reruns on More 4 ALL DAY. And then there was no dinner. The beer cans didn't get picked up. The cat was looking at me and making the most horrendous mournful noise you have ever heard! I have no idea what it wanted still.

In addition, whilst still a bit more involved than some ladies I've known in the past when it comes to pre-cigar-and-brandy action, I must admit that she didn't make the bed beforehand. Indeed, the bed was unchanged. Luckily, as a man I can take this, and accept and deal with it, but I wondered if this company is shipping mildly depressed wives ...

Oh, and I had a big meeting on Monday, and MY ... SHIRT ... WASN'T ... IRONED. I looked like a tramp. I'm sure this will go down on my appraisal.

Men, be aware, be very aware. This so called 'wife' can't cook. Not even a boiled egg, and let's admit it men, we like a runny boiled egg with soldiers on saturday morning before we mow the lawn (my friend Ellen has something to complain about her 'husband' as well, didn't mow her lawn, and didn't change the oil in her car!). I had to starve on Saturday morning, and I didn't have the energy to mow the lawn. I ended up watching Scraphead Challenge reruns on More 4 ALL DAY. And then there was no dinner. The beer cans didn't get picked up. The cat was looking at me and making the most horrendous mournful noise you have ever heard! I have no idea what it wanted still.

In addition, whilst still a bit more involved than some ladies I've known in the past when it comes to pre-cigar-and-brandy action, I must admit that she didn't make the bed beforehand. Indeed, the bed was unchanged. Luckily, as a man I can take this, and accept and deal with it, but I wondered if this company is shipping mildly depressed wives ...

Oh, and I had a big meeting on Monday, and MY ... SHIRT ... WASN'T ... IRONED. I looked like a tramp. I'm sure this will go down on my appraisal.