CAMPBELL -- Instructor Andres Perez kneeled on the classroom floor Tuesday, scrunched up his face and acted out a 5-year-old's tantrum aimed at a frazzled mom at the mall.

The 27 parents looking on erupted in laughter and recognition. What parent hasn't endured a similar episode?

The engaging role-playing, fast-paced lessons on child development and psychology and Perez's self-deprecating humor together have made his Positive Discipline for Latino Parents hugely popular in two Campbell's Union elementary schools and elsewhere.

What's more, Perez and preschool Director Gina Phi said, the classes have helped with children's behavior and made a big difference to couples and families.

For its effectiveness, Positive Discipline has won a coveted Glenn W. Hoffmann exemplary program award, to be presented Wednesday by the Santa Clara County School Boards Association.

Perez insists that parents are the experts, and he simply offers tools to succeed. Campbell Union's program meets parents where they are. "These classes do not judge them. They just provide the tools so they can be successful."

He teaches being firm, respectful and kind. "We don't believe in punishment, nor in being permissive," he said.

Advertisement

Begun six years ago, the positive discipline programs, usually conducted in Spanish, have reached hundreds of parents. Two years ago, mothers wanted a way to include more fathers, Phi said. The moms told her, "If we're there, we'll do most of the talking, and they'll sit back." She said the moms worried that during class they'd be giving their husbands sidelong "I told you so" glances that would fail to get them on board.

So in 2012, Perez began a dads-only evening class. "The first night was a little tense, in a class with dads sitting with arms crossed," Phi said. "But by the end of the night, the body language adjusted."

Perez said men may start with a disclaimer that they may be absent because of work, but then some then return and tell him, "This is too important. I can't afford to miss this information." The district provides letters to employers, if needed, akin to a doctor's note, to help parents attend.

At the classes, men let their guard down, Perez said. "They didn't have to worry about, 'oh my God, she's going to give it to me."

"These are really good classes in helping me help my daughter," said Enrique Popete, 37, of San Jose, the father of a 6-year-old. He's so enthusiastic that he's addressed meetings urging other parents to attend. The skills learned reach beyond parenting, he said: "It helps you to be a better person for the community."

Perez holds himself out as one who made a huge change in life. Coming from a technology background, he took classes in the positive discipline technique advocated by Alfred Adler -- and he ended up teaching them and founding his own nonprofit, Edificando Vidas, to work with schools and other organizations.

He sees changes in his students, with some parents reporting spouses who no longer hit kids, more couples cooperating, dads more involved in their kids' lives and families communicating more. Sometimes grandmothers attend. "It's never too late," said Perez. "This class really help you understand yourself, your siblings, family."

On Tuesday, Perez was going over differences between strict, negligent and lax parenting styles, drawing nods and comments. His talk is replete with examples from "neighbors."

After his students role-played the whiny 5-year-old and the mom on a mission at the mall, the class reported how they felt -- angry, manipulated, unloved, exasperated.

Then he asked them to repeat the exercise, but to offer the child choices.

Among the parents, Adriana Leon took fellow classmate Lourdes Saldaña's hand and asked, "Shall we walk fast or slow? Shall we buy cereal or chicken nuggets first? Should we get the milk or the juice?"

Giving children options encourages cooperation and helps children feel included in the task and lets them know they matter, Perez said.

The role-play helps parents experience feelings. "It's not rare to see parents in tears," he said.

On Tuesday, as parents stamped their feet and hunkered down pretending to be children on the verge of losing it, mostly there were tears of laughter.

Award-winning programs
Three programs winning the Glenn W. Hoffmann exemplary program award:
Positive Discipline For Latino Parents, in the Campbell Union Elementary District
FLEX program at Columbia Middle School, Sunnyvale School District
Madre a Madre program at Washington Elementary, San Jose Unified District