Dinosaurs on Facebook

Your mom is on Facebook, and dinosaurs are obviously cooler than your mom, so of course they were on Facebook at least two years before she was.

However, much like Michael Jackson, dinosaurs no longer have control over their own images, and therefore any asshat who wants can co-opt them to try and look cooler. (Except us, of course. We're not asshats. We're just cool.)

(OK, fine, you got us: we just play cool people on the Internet. In real life we're asshats.)

Since they weren't around to do it themselves, we scoured Facebook for dino-themed games, and then judged whether the games would get a dino seal of approval.

Game Objective: Answer one question and get matched with a dinosaur based on your lone response.

Would Dinos Approve: No. First of all, this is obviously spam masquerading as a quiz app, and dinosaurs hate spam. Second of all, dinosaurs are way too complex to be categorized by one little question. They have feelings too, even if that feeling is just one of rage that we silly humans can't recognize their superiority.

Game Objective: A 2D platforming game a la Super Mario Bros. featuring a pair of dinosaurs.

Would Dinos Approve: Yes. The big dinosaur is giving the little one a piggyback ride, and piggyback rides are always awesome. Plus they can collect coins, and if dinosaurs had been able to find more coins back in their day, they could have built a shelter to protect them from that meteor and avoided extinction.

Game Objective: Kind of like FrontierVille with dinosaurs. You build up a dino ranch and then go out and hunt other dinosaurs.

Would Dinos Approve: No. Yeah, dino ranches are cool, but then going out and pitting the domesticated dinosaurs against their wild brethren? If it sounds like something Michael Vick would do, then it's probably not good.

Game objective: Circle the earth as many times you can without getting taken out by an asteroid.

Would Dinos Approve: Yes. I haven't asked them personally, but I'm pretty sure that dinosaurs would be pro-staying alive, if for no other reason than that they could have eaten the entire human race and kept Facebook from ever happening in the first place.