Teens Take to Roller Derby for Rowdy, Speedy Bouts

Photos: Sol Neelman/Wired.com

PORTLAND, Oregon — One of the first weird sports I ever shot was roller derby. It was in Seattle, back in 2005. I’d heard this funky sport was enjoying a renaissance and thought it sounded cool. Turns out I was right. Badass women kicking ass on skates, having a blast. I dug it. I connect with anyone passionately pursuing something for no other reason than it is completely fun.

There’s no age limit on fun in the realm of derby. The Portland Rose City Rollers have a full-contact junior league for girls 12 to 18. The Rosebuds have four teams of about 60 players. They’re coached by veterans from the adult league. I happened to catch a recent match between the Rainbow Bites and the Undead Avengers.

The online mission statement for the Rainbow Bites is pretty grandiose: “Clad in the regal wings of the Pegasus and ready to take on the evil forces invading Rainbow Land, we, the Rainbow Bites, cloak ourselves in unicorn magic, lace up our skates, and set out on a never-ending mission for the total domination of the mystical Flat Track.”

On the other hand, the mission behind the Undead Avengers is simple and straightforward: “We eat brains.” (Noted.)

In the dim light of the Oaks Park skating arena, the bout seemed pretty much like that of the varsity league: A near-capacity crowd hootin’ and hollerin’ for costume-clad young ladies bumping each other to make room for their teammates.

Back when I first photographed the Rat City Rollergirls in the Emerald City, the athleticism and strength was mixed with showboating and pranks. Think pro wrestling on wheels. These days, the sport seems to have evolved into straight-up competition. While I doubt it’ll become a sanctioned high school sport anytime soon, these young athletes are well-deserving of letterman jackets.

“It’s really cool to see female empowerment,” said volunteer official Buddha Ref, aka Rich Schiffer. “The self confidence you sense off the track is palpable.”

The victorious brain-sucking squad presented an MVP trophy to its favorite player on the losing team, a ritual that follows every match. Jesus Feist, also known as Kindell McIntosh, received the trophy and a ton of huge hugs. The 15-year-old freshman at Cleveland High has been playing derby for two years along with her sister, Foxy Shazam.

“I really like the camaraderie with the sport,” she said. “Everyone accepts you for who you are, what you are.”

“They love it so I love it,” said her mom, Darcie McIntosh. “She says derby saved her soul.”

“The goal is that if you had fun, then you really win,” Kindell added. If you doubt her, keep an eye on her during a break in action. It’s obvious she’s having a ball.

“I am not a trash talker. I’m a dancer. I intimidate people with my dance moves. It’s true, dude. Dancing is the name of the game. Dancing, derby, eating. That’s my life. Don’t put eating… Just kidding.”

Don’t look for her to give up any of those things anytime soon.

“I’m going to be doing roller derby until I’m old and brittle,” she said.