Here is the treatment and cure for Cabin
Fever. It works too!
Somebody Other Than The Gods Must Be Crazy!

The dreaded disease had me in a death grip! houseboundus confinus
commonly known a "Cabin Fever!" I know the cure! But
certain obstacles like the wife...mainly... and the older kids
often interfere with recovery. Grandkids think Grandpa is "kool"
cause he does crazy things that are fun, even when he ain't suppose
to!

I
had to act quickly and nonchalantly as my oldest daughter and
my sweet wife drove away to do some last minute Christmas shopping!
My old military mind went to work and all I could hear was "GO
GO GO..MOVE IT, MOVE IT!" I threw open the shop door in a
flash! Had unlocked it earlier just in case! Grabbed the Yakoo
Stealth since all the others are being fixed, being repainted
or something! Quickly secured her with bungees on my wife's car!
Cause it's got a rack! Bungees are much faster than messing around
with a bunch of rope, s-hooks, etc., especially with cold fingers,
and if you are on a special ops covert mission for medicinal purposes..time
is of the utmost importance!

We'd
had a warm spell that melted about half the lake! It was already
up to 34 and I had water,.. but the landing ramp was still packed
in! Further up stream it was open and the snow was gone. Just
to the right of the sign is where I slipped the boat in. I read
the last part and it said enter at your own risk! Looking narrowed
eyed to the right and left quickly...just to make sure nobody
was coming down the road, I took the risk and headed toward the
lake which is about a mile!

Now I was well away from
the confines of land and already feeling better! Fresh but cold
air, absolutely exhilarating! Splashing sounds coming from the
bow sent relaxing sensations to my entire nervous system! Over
my shoulder I can see a long vee in the water that let's me know
I'm cruising along just fine!

Wives and older kids need
to be educated on the damage that Cabin Fever can do to a man!
It's amazing! Grandkids understand! Cause they think going out
in a blizzard at 20 below zero to build a snowman is fun! Nuff
said about that!

There
was very little wind. That made it nice too! I felt alone and
at peace! This was probably due to the fact that I was the only
damn fool in the lake! In a short time I was in sight of the landing
ramp and it was solid pack ice! I nudged it gently with the bow...and
heard the familiar crunch! It was only about 3/4 of an inch thick,
so I backed off 'bout 10 yards and threw in some rather heavy
power strokes hoping to break my way through! Well..........dat
didn't work! The sharp bow angle just rode the whole front end
up and over onto the frozen slab! I found myself and my boat about
half way up on the pack of ice landing with a thud!

I knew the ice wouldn't hold
my weight if I got out, and the water wuz too fer back for me
to reach with a paddle! I thought for a minute then horror overwhelmed
me! "Oh my god! What if the wife comes back early, drives
by, and sees me sitting out here in a boat that ain't even in
the damn water!" My ass is dead!

I
rambled thru my gear and got the ice picks I made from a couple
of long gutter nails I had sharpened up real good. They were tied
together with a length of nylon cord, and that was wrapped up
on each nail with some duct tape for the handles! I tried jumping
up and down in the seat figuring I could break the ice! That didn't
work either! The weight was spread out just enough to hold the
boat and me. I cut the rope in the middle of my ice spikes and
tied a loop on each to go around my wrist! Don't know why! If
I dropped one it'd be on solid ice!

The Stealth is low so I dug
the spikes in on each side and for some dumb ass reason pulled
myself up further on the ice and away from real water! The boat
moved very easy this way, so I had fun just pulling myself around
on the ice pack, playing, sliding, etc.! Actually got going pretty
fast a few times!

Time was running short and
figured I'd better get back in the water. With help from the spikes
she slid in easily, and I was off to the other side of the lake
to investigate about a hundred geese that decided to hang around
this winter! Couldn't make it to the dam as it was about 600 yards
of ice between me and deeper water for fishin'. Those geese were
smart by leaving 80 to a hundred yards of ice between me and them!
I had the .22, but don't see that good anymore without a scope!
Then felt it'd be easy to get my wife her Christmas goose later
since this is a legal hunting area..and better to do that from
land rather than to go scoot'in across the ice again!

I
don't like geese! Yep... they're pretty and nice to look at but
they crap all over the place and if you're in a boat and they
fly over it's best to take immediate evasive action to avoid being
smacked with goose poop bombs! I've even had em to come right
into my camp at 6am in the damn morning and start honking just
cause I happened to be on "their" island! Then have
to chase 'em off so I can fix some coffee! And warranting use
of the .357! They can get nasty and ill mannered! As a young man
of 13 years, I went to see my girlfriend whose family had a bunch
of irate geese! They were mean! Proof of that from the blood blisters
on my butt big as a quarter! Finally broke up with that girl!
Had to just to heal up so I could sit down! I'll say it again!
I don't like geese!.....and I always got the .22 in the boat!
They know it too! Like I said,..they can be pretty smart!

Paddled
back upstream, leaving the main body of the lake to check out
my favorite slough. It was still frozen so that ended that! I
did put a line in and got several weak strikes, and one good one,
but nothing stayed on! First time I've been skunked all year!
But I really didn't go to fish anyway. All this "Cabin Fever"
stuff made me weak, not being able to paddle and all. I was feeling
it in my arms and shoulders, so I headed back in......but in general......feeling
a helluva lot better, and on my way to recovery!

I got home, put all covert
equipment and weapons away. Boat, lifejacket, bungees, fishin'
rod, paddle, .22, etc., and fixed a nice big bowl of homemade
chili! Just as I checked the mail....Paul..our mailman and Yakoo
owner said, "I saw you out there when I came by!....Kaye's
gonna kill you!" I responded with military tactics, and said,
"Not if you don't tell her!" Then he said he wished
he'd been with me! I can only describe it as being nice! Wasn't
bad at all, I thoroughly enjoyed every minute, and at least some
of the disease symptoms are gone! You'd be astonished at what
a couple of hours paddling around can do.......When you tell the
grandkids a big secret they'll keep it!.....

But good grandkids know how
to keep a secret! They know that grandpa will rent them the movie
they want to watch tonight!..or give 'em candy they ain't suppose
to have right before dinner, etc.....if they don't tell grandma
any secrets! But if you decide you need some therapy...dress for
the occasion and be safe! My wife is a genealogist and said although
she tried ....there ain't no eskimo blood in me,... but she traced
my ancestors back to 1236ad.....and promptly stated that she was
willing to bet MY whole social security check on the fact that
if she digs deep enough into my "roots"...she will certainly
discover signs of mental illness! Later, Richard