When you share a kiss with your lover on Valentine's Day, you may be revealing a lot more than you realise.

Locking lips not only stimulates our senses, it also gives us subtle clues about our suitability as mates, US scientists have found.

A man's saliva has a "cocktail of chemicals" hinting at his fertility and evolutionary fitness, they said at a conference in Chicago.

That may be why the first kiss is often the last - "the kiss of death".

Primitive instinct

"Kissing is a powerful adaptive mechanism - otherwise we wouldn't see it all over the world. Over 90% of human societies practice kissing," said anthropologist Helen Fisher, of Rutgers University in New Jersey, at the annual conference of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in Chicago.

"Chimpanzees and bonobos kiss. Foxes lick each other's faces. Birds tap their bills together and elephants put their trunks in one another's mouths.

"So why do we do it? I think it is a tool for mate assessment. When you kiss, you can touch, see, feel, taste somebody. A huge part of our brain lights up.

"This is a real assessment tool - and can be highly positive or highly negative. In one study, 66% of women and 59% of men had experienced a first kiss which killed the relationship. It was the kiss of death."

Chemical bond

As well as acting as a "screening" mechanism for potential mates, Dr Fisher believes kissing evolved to stimulate what she has described as the three key brain systems for mating and reproduction.

The first of these is sex drive.

"Male saliva has testosterone in it. And men as a group seem to like wet kisses, with an open mouth and more tongue action.

"So it may be that, unconsciously, they are attempting to transfer testosterone - to trigger the sex drive in women and push them into being more sexually receptive."

Men also have a poor sense of smell, she said, so by open mouth kissing "they might be trying to pick up traces of a woman's oestrogen cycle, to figure out the degree of her fertility."

The second mechanism is romantic love.

"Kissing is novel, at least at the beginning of a relationship, and novelty stimulates dopamine - which is associated with romantic love," said Dr Fisher.

Finally, kissing promotes what she referred to as "attachment" or "pair bonding".

It helps us to stay together "at least long enough to have children," she said.

To study the chemistry which underlies kissing and pair bonding, neuroscientist Dr Wendy Hill, of Lafayette College, recruited a group of college students.

The young lovers - 15 couples in all - were then split into two groups. Some were asked to smooch for 15 minutes, to the soundtrack of relaxing music. The others sat holding hands and talking.

Romantic setting?

"Afterwards, we measured the changes in their levels of cortisol - a stress hormone - in their saliva.

"Levels had declined for everyone in the kissing group. And the longer the relationship, the lower the cortisol."

Dr Hill also took blood samples from the couples to measure levels of oxytocin - a messenger molecule associated with trust and sexual intimacy.

After 15 minutes of kissing, the males saw a significant increase in the "pair bonding" chemical.

But in the females, a decrease in oxytocin was observed.

"This was very surprising," Dr Hill admitted. "We are exploring the possibility that the setting - a college health centre - was just not very romantic.

"After all, this is a place where students go when they are ill. That may have had an effect on the females."

Dr Fisher is now running the study again "in a more romantic setting.

"We have a secluded room with a couch, flowers, candles, and a light jazz CD playing."

Interestingly, the females on birth control pills had significantly higher oxytocin levels, even before kissing began.

But with so few couples taking part in the study, which has yet to be published, it was not clear if there was any direct link between the two.Story from BBC NEWS:http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/science/nature/7890517.stm

The sheer stress of money worries in general, and fear of redundancy in particular will, she argues, elevate levels of the chemical dopamine in the brain - and dopamine is associated with romantic love.

"Times of stress can trigger feelings of attraction - quite simply, you're more susceptible," she said.

Professor Fisher's theories are based on a classic 1974 study by Dutton and Aron - in which male subjects walking across a dangerous-seeming bridge were found to be more likely to fall for an attractive woman researcher.

They are currently being reinforced by a flurry of less academic reports.

Website traffic

Dating websites eHarmony and Match.com both report major boosts in traffic of up to 20% over the past few months.

“ Surely when people need relief from their financial worries they reach for the natural medication created by body contact? ”A YouGov survey of 20,144 British adults in November 2008 found sex was the most popular low-cost activity.

Sex toy shops as far apart as Amsterdam, New York and China are anecdotally reporting a boom in sales.

And, according to Ken Herron, chief of marketing at gay dating site Manhunt, the site had its biggest membership sign-up on 29 September, the day the Dow Jones Index crashed.

The logic here rings true, absolutely reflecting what I as an advice columnist am seeing in my postbag.

Surely when people feel alone, they reach out for connection, seek out pleasure in the form of skin-on-skin contact?

Surely when people need relief from their financial worries they reach for the natural medication created by body contact, which releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin?

Negative impact

However, at a certain point, this logic breaks down - and the very opposite appears true.

Relate, the couples counselling organisation, is seeing in established couples a different picture from the sexfest Helen Fisher describes.

Denise Knowles, Relate sex therapist, said: "Economic uncertainties can cause people to become more anxious - with the added dimension of people trying to get another job, or working longer hours to cover for a partner who has lost theirs.

"In the end, they are simply less likely to want sexual activity at the end of a long day."

In addition, the very anxiety that may be fuelling the initial desire to bond sexually may also sap the ability to experience pleasure.

Self-esteem classically drops during recession, particularly for those who actively lose their jobs.

Equally, respect drops for a partner who is economically less successful.

Then, desire plummets along with the esteem and respect.

And even if desire remains constant, ability to act on that desire may be compromised.

A lack of self-confidence has often been cited as affecting male virility - the classic 'performance anxiety' - and a lack of emotional security during lovemaking as affecting female arousal.

Money and satisfaction

It is also arguable that economic reversal is affecting sexual completion too, at least for women.

“ Maybe economic woes bring us together but then make us unable to enjoy the fruits of that bonding ”A recent study by Dr Thomas Pollet, of Newcastle University, suggesting that rich men give their partners more orgasms surely also implies that monetarily challenged men deliver fewer climaxes.

According to Dr Pollet, money is one of the main factors determining female sexual satisfaction.

Are these theories contradictory? Does the recession create lust - or sap it? Does a lack of money lead to a raising of desire - or a lowering of sexual action?

One possible theory to square the circle is - to misquote the famous line from Macbeth - is that recession "provokes the desire but takes away the performance".

Maybe economic woes bring us together but then make us unable to enjoy the fruits of that bonding.

If so, what to do? Knowles advises clear communication: "If you are too tired for sex, tell your partner why. If you suddenly go off sex or can't perform, being open is the best policy."

Communication will not solve everything, however: if the problems continue, it could be you need more specialist help.

It could be then that, instead of roses and chocolates for Valentine's this year, we ought to be handing our beloved an appointment card for a therapy session. Just a thought.

# Susan Quilliam is the author of The New Joy of Sex, and of The Romantic Lover and The Adventurous Lover published by Mitchell Beazley.Story from BBC NEWS:http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/7874408.stm

Thursday, February 12, 2009

1. Woman-on-top position:This is voted as the most popular love making position for women because it gives them total control of pace and intensity to find out what's the best for them. As well, it makes your partner feel seductive, sexy and make her totally satisfied! Following are list of tips to make the most out of this position:

- Place a big cushion under your buttock to lift up position of pelvis for deep penetration.

- Have her to thrust in steady circular, or back and forth motion. It allow penis to rub against all walls of vagina and G spot for erotic stimulation.

- She draws her legs as close as possible to supercharge sensation for both of you.

- Use your free hands to caress her breasts and lower belly for extra stimulation.

2. Sexy Seagull position:She lies on her back with her buttocks resting comfortably near the edge of bed. You kneel down between her legs and make sure penis and vagina are parallel. When necessary, you can place a cushion under her back to adjust height. In this position, your penis enters directly into her body, which results in explosive sensations for both of you.

Extra hot tip: Instead of mindless thrusting, you may want to try teasing her, i.e. withdrawing when she's about to orgasm. When you resume stimulation, it is going to push her over the edge easily and quickly. Here's how: during thrusting, stimulate her until she's near climax. Then, pull out your member and stimulate other erogenous zones (e.g. clitoris, breasts and nipples). Repeat this step a few times until you think it's time for the big "O". The hiatus is going to exponentially enhance her orgasmic pleasure. Certainly, she will be annoyed when you pull off- don't be afraid to provoke her, she will thank you later.

Take it easy with me, pleaseTouch me gently like a summer evening breezeTake your time, make it slowAndante, AndanteJust let the feeling grow

Make your fingers soft and lightLet your body be the velvet of the nightTouch my soul, you know howAndante, AndanteGo slowly with me now

I'm your music(I am your music and I am your song)I'm your song(I am your music and I am your song)Play me time and time again and make me strong(Play me again 'cause you're making me strong)Make me sing, make me sound(You make me sing and you make me...)Andante, AndanteTread lightly on my groundAndante, AndanteOh please don't let me down

I'm your music(I am your music and I am your song)I'm your song(I am your music and I am your song)Play me time and time again and make me strong(Play me again 'cause you're making me strong)Make me sing, make me sound(You make me sing and you make me...)Andante, AndanteTread lightly on my groundAndante, AndanteOh please don't let me down

Do you want to travel to Thailand for Erotic massage parlor. This sexy massage travel can also be found in Malaysia. Cheap and much more easier to access to Malaysia rather than exotic Thailand resort vacations.

Perfume garden Blog or Taman Wangi in malay is a blog about the advices and tips from old and modern bedroom knowledge for married couples relatiopship. This guide in Perfume Garden blog or Taman Wangi Blog is in Malay and English for married couples that want to have a family that can last for long time. This blog not only about tips and advices related to activities in bedroom it's included tips and advices related to family matter. It's can be used as dating and relationship tips