Tiger Announces Comeback Everyone Knew Already

After — how long was it? — a week of speculation that Tiger Woods would play in the Masters, Tiger Woods has announced he will play in the Masters. So that was accurate back then? Wow, we really need to start Tigerproofing these rumors.

A statement from the Woods camp made the announcement on his own terms — during the March Madness lull, and after we set our clocks forward. I'm sure this was a factor. "I think Augusta is where I need to be, even though it's been a while since I last played," Woods and/or his publicist wrote.

I can only imagine what kind of hell Tiger has undergone to have been unable to play golf for three months in the winter. He should really consider turning pro in a sport that has the majority of their tournaments in the spring, summer, and fall. In fact, I remember watching the Northern Trust Open — I never miss it! — and thought to myself, "Without Tiger, this is just a golf tournament in February." Then I wept profusely.

What this really means, however, is that we are almost done with stories about Tiger's infidelity and can start getting back to writing about whether or not a group of linksmen known as "The Field" can beat Tiger Woods straight up in a major tournament. Of course, the same amount of unbridled speculation runs rampant in both types of columns, and the latter contains fewer sexual details, but … wait, remind me again why this is a good thing.