To our valued families and friends, this blog was created to be informative for you, the consumer and bring you to better understand the funeral industry while making aware those things that could jeopardize your decision making process.

Friday, November 30, 2012

I found this BLOG on the Internet, I am posting it due to the fact that as of lately families have been telling me of a specific funeral home in the southwest valley that has adopted these practices. REMEMBER! it is common practice for unethical and unscrupulous businesses to use these practices to prey on your emotions for profit.

NOTICE - THERE IS NO REQUIREMENT BY LAW FOR AN I.D. VIEWING! NOR IS THERE A REQUIREMENT FOR AN I.D. VIEWING CASKET SHOULD YOU CHOOSE THE VIEWING.

I.D. Viewing or Scam....., you decide.

Many funeral homes are now requiring "personal identification" or ID viewing prior to cremation, hoping that when you see Mom in a cardboard box, someone will ask if there isn't something a little nicer. In fact, this tactic was recommended at a funeral industry symposium—Keys to Cremation Success, "How to Add $1,400 to Your Cremation Calls"—where the speaker admitted that such a maneuver was self-serving. Unless this occurs after a plane crash, for example, where there might be a legitimate doubt regarding the identity of the deceased, this is, indeed, a despicable and manipulative tactic. The funeral home certainly isn't going to show you the wrong body.

Not only is it a basic responsibility of the funeral home to be certain of the identity before ever taking custody of a body, it is also a reasonable expectation that the funeral home will not co-mingle bodies or "lose" the identification. Yes, occasionally there are stories about the wrong body being cremated or the wrong body in the casket for visitation, but these represent sloppy funeral home practices, not a failure to identify.

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This is an ID Viewing Container, it costs $69, they charge $300+

Some funeral homes have the gall to charge for this "required" viewing or for "preparation for ID viewing." According to the Federal Trade Commission, you may CERTAINLY decline either of these charges unless you specifically asked for private family viewing or unless there is a state law requiring personal ID viewing by next-of-kin. There are no such laws. (none in Arizona, or Goodyear for that matter)

﻿﻿﻿﻿A son went to the nursing home to sign the permit for cremation after staff from an SCI-owned funeral home arrived to pick up his mother's body there. Although the nursing home staff had most certainly already done so, he was asked to identify his mother's body. When he said he had no desire to see his mother's body, he was asked to sign the following:

ELECTION NOT TO IDENTIFY BY ACTUAL VIEWING

I, _____________, having declined to make identification through actual viewing of the remains of ___________________________, my ____________________, hereby agree to indemnify and hold [an SCI-owned funeral home, The DIGNITY guys] and its officers, directors, shareholders, affiliates, agents, employees, successors, and assigns harmless from any and all claims, liabilities, damages, losses, suits or causes of action (including attorneys' fees and expenses of litigation) brought by any person, firm or corporation or the personal representative thereof, relating to or arising out of such failure to identify.

I understand that [the named SCI-owned funeral home, The DIGNITY guys] will wait three (3) additional days after all papers and/or forms required by law have been completed and filed with the appropriate governmental agencies before proceeding with cremation and will charge a storage/ refrigeration fee for the same.

~ DO NOT EVER SIGN ANYTHING LIKE THS! ~

This is ALSO a ID Viewing Container, its Cost, $10, your charge $10

Well, being stressed at his mother's death and all that he needed to do while juggling work commitments, the son signed the form thinking it was a simple release. At no time was he told how much the storage fee would be, he claims. Six days later, he got a bill for $250 dollars more than he expected: storage for five days at $50 per day. Paperwork indicated that the bill had to be paid by the next day, a Friday, but he put off doing so to seek legal help. By the following Tuesday, the funeral home became threatening after a Funeral Consumer Allianceinquiry—additional storage would be charged because of the son's delay . . . because he had not signed any "contract." Even though the son had signed a permit to cremate when the funeral home picked up his mother's body at the nursing home, Funeral Consumer Alliancewas told that the body had not yet been cremated because of the lack of a "contract." At no time—until Tuesday— was the son informed, he says, that a "contract" was the pivotal piece of paperwork necessary before his mother could be cremated. Eleven days had now elapsed with his mother's body stored in a cooler. One other reason the son was unwilling to sign the contract: His signature would indicate that he had been given all price and other disclosures required by the FTC prior to making any arrangements. Such information came after-the-fact—with the bill—and he had no intention of signing a false statement.

In legal terms, the son was a victim of duress and undue influence, not to mention the FTC violations that were committed. There was no legal reason to hold the body for three days AFTER all paperwork was filed, and the funeral home may NOT impose such a charge, let alone without notifying the consumer how much the charge will be. Funeral Consumer Alliance is filing complaints with state and federal agencies on the son's behalf, but other consumers should be forewarned about this new manipulation of cremation customers.

Please do not fall for this unscrupulous practice. This is just horrible. If it is your choice to wish to see the deceased prior to cremation, the facility has the right to charge you for this I.D. viewing, but only if you choose one. They can not tack on charges such as disinfection, preperation, any casket use or I.D. viewing casket. Its hard enough as it is, please dont let them make it more dificult, and they will try. Say goodby as you choose to, not as they choose for you.

Monday, November 26, 2012

I Found This article on the Internet. I added the pictures to try and give it a little chistmas spirit. Now, it has been my experience that most of us choose not to speak of death or sickness or losing a family member around the holidays. Mainly out of fear of spoiling the holiday for everyone or maybe because we don't want to remind ourselves that a real happy time we spent with the one we lost is gone, and we will never enjoy it again. This is part of life, the loss of a loved one. Whatever the reason, you CAN talk about it. It really makes things allot better. First the tears will come, then the memory, then laughter and probably more tears. But I promise you, you will feel better. Try to reach outside of the box and talk about the one you love, the memories, the good times. It honestly does help. I pray for all of those that are reading this trying to find an answer to the holidays during the loss of a loved one.

Merry Christmas!

Miguel Legaspi..............

Losing someone you love is hard. If your loved one dies around Christmas, it can be even harder. The way to deal with death at Christmas to realize that, when someone you love dies, change is unavoidable. However, change can also help you get through this difficult time. While you can't rush the grieving process, you can find ways make your holidays more pleasant and less stressful.

Deal With Day-to-Day Life and Holiday Stress When a Loved One is Dying.

1. Expect a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Preparing for loss is in some ways worse than death itself, because of the uncertainty and dread. Your feelings can vary by the hour, which is completely normal.

2. Be good to yourself. Take time to sleep, cry, exercise and eat nutritious meals. Pray, meditate or just relax in a calm and quiet place. Distract yourself for a few hours with a book or film or spend time with a friend. You can't take care of your loved one or anyone else if you don't take care of yourself.

3. Encourage visits during your loved one's best times of day. If he is most alert and comfortable earlier in the day, ask visitors to come in the morning.

4. Consider which, if any, traditions you want to participate in this year. Think about your financial and emotional resources. Maybe you want to skip gift-giving this year or perhaps it would cheer you up and be a welcome distraction.

5. Celebrate this last Christmas in some meaningful way. Give cards and gifts and put up decorations. Even if your loved one is comatose, you can bring in a poinsettia or holiday floral arrangement to brighten the room and play favorite holiday music. Remember that is always possible that your loved one can hear you and feel your touch, even if you don't see any response.

6. Find counseling now. Your school, workplace or place of worship should be able to recommend someone. If cost is a concern, you can consider support groups, including Internet forums.

7. Enjoy whatever you can during the holiday season. There is no harm or disrespect in celebrating. Your loved one would want you to find comfort where and when it comes.

Accepting Christmas After they have passed.

8. Recognize that feelings of sadness, grief and even anger may intensify during the holiday season. The added expectations and stimulation can make it even harder to deal with the anniversary of your loved one's death.

9. Talk to friends and family. Ask for and accept emotional and practical help. Be honest about your feelings. You may hesitate to seem like a "downer" when everyone else seems to be celebrating, but realize that most people are eager to help. If you want to talk about the loved one, know that you can and let others know this.

10. Consider which holiday traditions may be helpful and which may be hurtful. The first holidays following a death can bring back painful memories and emotions and the holiday media blitz can leave you stressed and exhausted. If you are too conscious of the empty chair, you may want to skip hosting Christmas Eve dinner for the entire extended family. Or you may find comfort in this tradition and in sharing memories with people who were close to your loved one.

11. Find counseling. Your school, workplace or place of worship should be able to recommend someone. If cost is a concern, you can consider support groups, including Internet support groups.

12. Help yourself by helping someone else. Offer support to others affected by your loss. Consider making a charitable donation or give a gift in memory of your loved one. You could also volunteer at an animal shelter or another charity, since they are often shorthanded during the holidays.

13. Spend time with friends or family members. Invite someone to share a meal or see a concert with you. You could also volunteer at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter.

14. Simplify what you can and ask for and accept help. For example, if you can't deal with making turkey with all the trimmings, you can have pizza or pasta.

15. Prioritize your own needs and the needs of those who are also most affected by the loss. Do what works for you and them. You may find comfort in familiar surroundings or you may want to visit somewhere completely new.

16. Get through today. Don't worry about how you will handle the holiday next year or ten years from now. By then you may want to return to certain beloved traditions and locations, or you may want to celebrate elsewhere or in an entirely different way.

17. Extend the meaning of the holiday to the natural world. In cold climates you could snowshoe or ski and in warm climates you could surf or water ski. Beautiful natural settings offer opportunities for peace and contemplation and for fun and exercise.

18. Remember and honor the loved one with a special toast, a favorite carol, a lighted candle or a favorite photo. You can also write a card or letter or keep a journal of your thoughts and remembrances. In the coming years, Christmas can be a time to remember your loved one. You can visit a place you both loved or that the person had always wanted to see and see it "for" her.

19. Enjoy whatever you can during the holiday season. There is no harm or disrespect in celebrating. Your loved one would want you to find comfort where and when it comes.