Neglecting the Mean

As long time readers will be aware, I tend to view most things in the sexual market place as conforming to the normal distribution. What this means in practice is that tens and ones are extremely scarce, fives and sixes extremely common, and the rest are somewhere in between. I used this as an example because in this space it’s extremely common to rely on the outliers as both the examples of top and bottom.

Top, the perfect 10 trad girl who is just like your great-grandma, a symbol of femininity, grace and dignity. Bottom the crazy BPD chick with a notch count in the high 4 figures, 8 divorces, 88 false rape accusations running a hedge-fund of child support. The 400 lb dude who lives in his mom’s basement, smokes weed all day, eats nothing but hot-pockets and hasn’t been laid ever. The 19 year old billionaire with 9 girlfriends, who does nothing but jet-setting and driving lambos.

These are hyperbolic examples that draw attention away from the real, and realistic discussions we should spend more of our time on. Instead of talking about how the slightly below average guy can go from 4 to 6, we talk about reaching the apex of perfect Alpha dude. Instead of talking about how the average woman is … average, the only two positions seem to be:

A) All women are goddesses because they smell nice.

B) All women are succubi only out to tear your heart (and wallet) out through your penis.

On some level, awareness of outliers is a good thing, because once in a while, you do come across one in the wild. It could be the 0.1% of crazy, exploitative, or even huge value added, however most people are painfully average. We need to recognize that, and it needs to inform our discourse in this space to a much larger degree than it currently does.

Troy Francis said something akin to “The average guy just wants to not have to go to an office, get laid and have more control of his time. He doesn’t need to drive a lambo and bang models to improve his life.” This is not a quote, but I think my paraphrase is close enough to the sentiment.

The Worst of the Bunch

My “Crazy bitch” series covering Axis-2 personality disorders deals with the women who are among the worst and most destructive you can come across, psychopaths, histrionics, narcissists and BPD. These make up perhaps 5% of the population, so if you’ve dated 20 girls, odds are you’ve dated one or two. Their negative traits overpower their positive traits in the medium to long-term.

These tend to be the women represented when content creators in this space retweet or share news stories:

The teacher who cheated on her husband of 10+ years with her 13 year old student.

The woman who killed her children because she was about to lose custody to her ex-husband.

The woman running a child-support hedge-fund who has 11 kids by 13 different dads.

The girl who has been divorced 8 times by the time she turns 30 and is speculating in divorces.

The single-mom with a BMI over 40, 4 kids, no education, no income, with “If you’re not 6 ft+ with a 6-pack making 6 figures don’t even talk to me.

These are also frequently the women some MGTOW and similar groups use to justify their “No touch vagina” position, and I get it, running into one of these can throw a serious monkey wrench into every part of your life. Luckily these women are fairly rare depending on location. I’d argue that they make up 2.5% – 15% of the female population, filling the distribution from bunny-boiler to pain in my ass.

The Best of the Bunch

On the other side of the distribution, we have the best woman-kind has to offer, these are the women that inspire men to improve themselves. Nurturing, feminine, down-to-Earth, free of mental issues, confident, poised and self-assured. They’ve put work into value-added, yet still are in that 8-10 in looks. For these women their positive qualities greatly overpower any negative traits.

These are the women often cited when blue- or purple pilled men need examples to inform and market their perspective on the SMV.

The grandmother who devoted her life to her husband, children and extended family.

The virginal trad church-girl, who cooks, cleans and always smells like she just had a shower.

The women juggling a career, workouts and raising a family.

The model/actress that always appears prim, proper and poised.

These are usually the women who are held up as representative for the average, when the trads or other groups want to justify their “Get married, be fruitful and multiply to save western civ” position. A woman like this can be a great boon to your life and add a lot of value. However these women are just as rare as their counterpart, making up 2.5% – 15% of the female population. Plus, many of them are locked down rather early, and very limited supply of them exist beyond 25 years old.

The Average

These are the women who are largely neglected by the space on both sides on the Red-Blue scale. These make up the great majority of women that men are exposed to in their life. They have an average distribution of qualities and negative traits.

Feminine and always looks good but can’t cook

Has her shit in order, but is high-maintenance.

Nice and caring but becomes a bitch when she’s on her period.

These women make up about 60 – 70% of the population and sit around 5 – 7 in SMV. They are largely neglected by most of the space because they do not serve the dichotomous positions people often take. A woman like this vacillates between being a positive contributor to your life, a negative influence on your life, but most of the time, she’s neutral.

Binary and Extreme Examples

One of my major issues is that much of the time I struggle with figuring out what the major issue is with discourse in this space. In fact, much of the time I wonder if people are talking past each other, deliberately misinterpret each other, playing power-games or if they are simply so caught up in their own subjective perception that they cannot understand other positions. Alternatively that their ego-investments preclude any concession because it would result in the house of cards crumbling.

I’ve just observed that any attempt at reasonable discussion is met with ad hominem, “point and sputter” Gish-gallops, proof by verbosity or word-salads. I’m guilty of most of this myself on occasion. The focus is on not being perceived as “losing frame” and appearing to be right, rather than being correct, it’s the old “Lawyer vs. Engineer” situation. Instead of sticking to the topic, using source references, good reasoning and good faith, most of the time it becomes attacks on a person’s character, or poisoning the well, and that’s not good for the audience.

Most of the time it becomes a case where no-one is persuaded, no additional clarity is achieved, no new information is generated, and a lot of time is wasted for all the involved. Ultimately I think this comes down to the fact that mane people treat this space, the information and community in it, as very binary.

High-T or Soy

Alpha or Beta

Conflict-seeking or Conflict avoiding

Warlord or War-bride

Hypergamy or No hypergamy

AWALT or NAWALT

In-group or Out-group

At some point we need to be able to stop talking in “Yes or No” questions and start talking in Likert Scales.

“Are all women hypergamous?” Yes… but this does not mean your girl will go get Gorilla-fucked by all your friends because you got a post-nasal drip.

“Are all women like that?” Yes… but not necessarily to the same degree, meaning that a BPD will have a veritable rogues gallery of orbiters, a “normal” woman will have a couple.

Once we stop treating these as strict binaries and stop acting like these are zero-sum games, we can move forward within the established framework. Ultimately I think a lot of this stems from the fact that the heuristics such as AWALT are stated in a binary way, because the recovering blue pill man (and many men on the red continuum), would love to find that one exception, and will engage in untold mental gymnastics to convince themselves that they did. The high T alpha male archetype exists for a similar reason, most men who come to this space have no problems with comfort behaviors, but cannot build attraction, even if he “overdoses” on alpha for a bit, he won’t be War-machine.

Summary and Conclusions

I think the major disservice this community does to men who need help is two-fold:

A) Adding too much bloatware to the OS upgrade.

B) Presenting X or Z when in reality it’s about A to B.

As my regular readers know, I’m very fond of the normal distribution when it comes to SMV. The reason for this is that value distribution in genetics tend to follow it, height and IQ, Penis size, but also because most of the population inherently just float along on the river of life. Then some positive outliers got lucky in a lottery and some worked very hard with high efficacy, some did a bit of both. Some negative outliers just got plain unlucky in a lottery, some are self destructive, and for many it’s a little of A and a little from B.

I advocate getting into the top 20% of men who do 80% of the fucking. Note that I said “Fucking” there is a reason for that and it’s female agency, Gawd don’t we all hate that damn term. PUAs want to hack it, tradcons want to build a firewall around it and corporations want to pander to it to sell more useless shit. I used “Fucking” for mathematical purposes. If I said “20% of men get 80% of the women” that works out like this:

Out of 1000 men, 200 get girls (and thus laid), 800 don’t.

If I say fucking it works out like this:

1000 bangs, 800 go to the top 20% of men, 200 to the bottom 80%.

See the difference?

AWALT sounds harsh, but it’s not that different from always treating a firearm as if it’s loaded. All it really says is that all women have the capacity for a range of behaviors that can ultimately lead to large negative consequences for a man’s life, being aware of them permits you to utilize good risk management and risk mitigation techniques.

I realize that much of what we tell you sounds “Negative” and “Dark”, but to a man who who spent his life in a dream, reality is a nightmare. However, these things are not deterministic, your girl is not destined to leave you, however if you break Rule 1, by getting fat, not teasing her, letting her run the relationship and not smacking her ass, she might. If you also break rule 2 by becoming clingy, whining, complaining and begging for sex, she’ll probably end up getting the hell out, and I don’t blame her, she’s not a lesbian and why would she want to date another girl?

I once said that I’d love for all men in this world to become purple pill, because that is a step in the right direction. Going from 35% bodyfat to 25% bodyfat is a step in the right direction. Going from $100k in debt to $50k in debt is a step in the right direction. Going from not having sex to having sex is a step in the right direction.

16 comments on “Neglecting the Mean”

Hi Carl,
offtopic question: I am using the word press reader app and love to download the newest posts from my fav. blogs and read some on a bus ride etc.
However your posts are just showing up with a teaser, not the full text.
Is this on purpose or something you would be willing to change?

I set them with a “read more” TAG to keep the front page easier to navigate and get more accurate data on what essays people are reading the most. Never used the reader app, is there no way to see the full post on there?

Hmm, I don’t think so. It’s the same with the email that get’s sent out. For blogs like Rationale Male the email will contain the complete posts, your’s is just the teaser.
I did a quick google check about the “read more” tag, but couldn’t find anything about having a separate setting for the reader feature and the email, so maybe it’s not possible to have one without the other.
Thanks for the quick response though.

[…] As long time readers will be aware, I tend to view most things in the sexual market place as conforming to the normal distribution. What this means in practice is that tens and ones are extremely scarce, fives and sixes extremely common, and the rest are somewhere in between. I used this as an example […] Source link […]

The thing with twitter is that no one wants to look less alpha than the other, especially If you have a brand, so in order to not lose frame they keep ignoring what the other person says and talking past it. Though I have to say it, that works wonders with women, to this day the most effective habit that I have developed. This dynamic is show in good movies and shows, for example in Peaky Blinder the dialogues between Alfie Solomons and Tom Shelby are a continual frame battle. The thing is, it makes for a bad discussion. It only works when two high IQ aspergeresque types discuss a topic. Anyways great essay.

I agree. The only way discussions work is with two people seeking to both gain more knowledge and insights. On twitter it always becomes posturing either marketing to your own audience or to the audience of the other person. People are more concerned about losing face on twitter than Asians are in business.