One of the questions I get asked often as a writer is which character I most enjoyed writing. Truth is, I really enjoy writing the males. Maybe because it stretches me to have to think from the male perspective … or maybe, because guys are just so much fun. They’re uncomplicated and straight-forward, more prone to act first and think about it later—characteristics that lead to great conflicts when they’re thrown against a complicated female who chooses her words carefully and wants to think everything through. But apart from the obvious, I have a great advantage when it comes to writing guys.

I grew up in Paducah, Kentucky, a small city in the far western section of the Commonwealth. I delineate Paducah as a small city because, at 35,000, it was large enough that everybody didn’t know everybody else (or their business) but small enough to have neighborhoods where everybody did know everybody else. Our neighborhood was our world for the first ten years of our lives; we even had neighborhood elementary schools that we walked to and from. It was my neighborhood … my world … that gave me the aforementioned advantage. There were seven children my age in my neighborhood … six boys and me.

If I wanted companionship, I had to learn the guys’ rules of the game early in life—and I did. Most of the time, I was treated as an equal. I ran fast, developed a courageous side, and was always ready for an adventure. But the boys had their principles. When we played Justice League, I had to be Supergirl or Wonder Woman. When we played army, I was only allowed to be the nurse. Occasionally they would play house with me, but I always had to be the mom who stayed at home and cooked mudpies while they went out and saved the world.

I was never just one of the guys—there was awareness that I was different– but I was privileged to be accepted into their inner circle and became privy to their way of thinking and handling situations.

I distinctly remember the exact day I knew things were changing … forever. The boys were playing football that afternoon. I wasn’t allowed to play—not their rule this time, but my mother’s, who was sure I’d get hurt—so I watched from the sidelines. One of the boys had a friend over from another neighborhood, and he was the cutest boy I had ever laid eyes on. His name was Rick. Each time the game would stall or there would be a timeout, Rick would come over and talk to me. Even with a backyard full of comrades, I captured his attention. I was enchanted. But the true magic happened when my mother called me home to supper. Seeing me leaving, he left the game and ran over to me, and asked: “Can you come back?” I still can feel the flutter in my stomach stirred by those four words … words that rocked my world off its steady axis and never allowed it to return to the way it had been before. It wasn’t only what he said, but the way he said it. He wasn’t just being nice. He wanted me to come back because he saw me not as a tomboy but as a girl.

I burned my membership card to the Boys’ Club that day; I had found the Girls’ Club, and instinct told me it was going to be even better.

Now, when I’m writing, and I come to a scene where the hero has to save the world, I think back to the lessons I learned from that wonderful group of guys, and I ask myself what Jack, Randy, Jeff, Gregg, Bobby, and Jimmy would do. And, of course, when the hero needs to say the exact words to win the girl, I recall the flutter in my stomach at Rick’s question.

I’ll never be able to thank my buds enough for the insights they gave me, but I can promise to portray them genuinely and faithfully. They will always be superheroes in my book.

Pamela Hearon achieved the impossible — she met the love of her life on a blind date, beating the odds at romance roulette. The insight she gained from the experience opened a universe of fun, romantic stories begging to be told. Accepting the challenge, Pamela became the storyteller, the matchmaker who unites those couples destined to be together despite the seemingly impossible odds stacked against them.
In true romance fashion, Pamela’s own story sports a “happily ever after.” Two years after their first meeting, she married her blind date. Twenty-six years later, they’re still together and still defying the odds.
Drop by for a visit on Pamela’s website at www.pamelahearon.com, friend her on FaceBook at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pamelahearon, or email her directly at pamelahearon@gmail.com.

10 Comments

Pam, It’s funny. I was a total tomboy when I was little (I DID play football with the guys!) And still, today, I like hanging with men more than women. But I still have a hard time writing them!

I feel like I don’t belong in their heads! I have to go back in and deepen every single hero I’ve ever written. I have it’s a feeling it’s because I like the mystery of how they think. Like a magic trick…you want to know how he does it, but once you do, it’s no fun anymore!

Pamela HearonAug 12, 2013 @ 08:46:53

Laura,
When I write the male POV (and this is no reflection on our counterparts), I tend to write in simpler terms. Not because guys are simple-minded, but because they seem to see through the gunk directly into the heart of the matter. In my DH’s world, there doesn’t seem to be any gray matter. Everything is black and white.
I think that’s why they’re fascinating 🙂

One thing about rodeoing and living on a ranch…you never burn your Boy’s Club card. You pretty much have to think like they do or there’s going to be blood shed.Kari Lynn Dell recently posted..Where I’ve Been

Pamela HearonAug 12, 2013 @ 12:57:09

LOL, Kari! I’m sure that’s true! You, more than any of us, truly live in a man’s world.

Cynthia D'AlbaAug 12, 2013 @ 13:21:07

I didn’t really have many boys in my neighborhood growing up. So there never was a tomboy element to my childhood. We played A LITTLE baseball but mostly it was bikes, skates, and dressing up like we were Miss Arkansas. Of course we only had one formal so we had to take turns. Then there were the Barbie dolls, who did really dirty stuff with Ken, although I personally had no idea why Ken would need to lay on top of Barbie! LOL

When I write my male characters, I try to imagine my husband saying the words.

Pamela HearonAug 12, 2013 @ 21:13:30

Aaiieee, Cyndi! Now I’ll be picturing PM every time I read your books! 🙂

Cynthia D'AlbaAug 12, 2013 @ 22:54:58

I didn’t say that worked! I said I TRY. hee hee Hubby doesn’t cuss nearly as much as my characters. And he lacks the “sweet talk” gene.

What a fantastic perspective, Pam! Are you still in touch with any of those guys?

My first best friend was a boy, and growing up I spent a ton of time with my brother, my cousins (one girl, one boy, about our ages), and some guys in their neighborhood. I also had more guy friends in high school and college than friends who were girls. But they seem to be very different kinds of guys, for the most part, from the ones you grew up with.

Perfectly capable of rough and tumble games and firing farts off at us from all fours, they were thoughtful (as in, they thought a lot), sensitive guys who are excellent communicators as adults. I’m sure they are huge influences on how I write my male characters. But I don’t think I have the guts to ever ask one of them if they’re realistic. LOLNatalie J. Damschroder recently posted..A Kid’s Perspective on a Mom’s Writing Career

Pamela HearonAug 12, 2013 @ 21:20:05

Natalie, Yes! Jack and I are still best of friends. We FaceBook, email, and see each other a couple of times a year–been together since we were three 🙂

That’s so awesome! I lost touch with my first best friend about 30 years ago. I found him on Facebook recently and we touched base, but not solidly.Natalie J. Damschroder recently posted..A Kid’s Perspective on a Mom’s Writing Career