The only thing you want to make sure you make VERY clear in that situation is that it is not your daughters (if you have one) duty to take care of a man like you do her daddy. Also you want to make sure your son does not grow up with the expectation
...

The only thing you want to make sure you make VERY clear in that situation is that it is not your daughters (if you have one) duty to take care of a man like you do her daddy. Also you want to make sure your son does not grow up with the expectation that women are there to serve him. If they do not end up kinky, those expectations will fuck them hard in relationships.

Oh, absolutely! We plan to educate our future children when they are old enough to understand that not everyone lives the way we do. They will respect each other and the people around them...or there will be HELL to pay

While my Master might be a sadistic asshole sometimes (who am I kidding? I love it) he is not like that all the time. In fact, the majority of dominants are sadistic only in a scene with
...

All dominants are sadistic, womanizing assholes.

While my Master might be a sadistic asshole sometimes (who am I kidding? I love it) he is not like that all the time. In fact, the majority of dominants are sadistic only in a scene with another, an asshole when requested, and far from womanizing. The majority of dominants respect women who are submissive, as well as men who are submissive, greatly and take their feelings and such into consideration. There is no level of womanizing involved nor is there any discrimination or looking down upon because of status. Most only involve the status aspect when they are involved in a relationship.

I have found that most doms have genuine affection for their subs. It's not just someone to take out aggression on.

The self confidence issue with subs really hits home for me, I am an OCD controlling freak in normal life, but it took a lot of trust and confidence with my husband to submit and let him take control during sex and other activities.

While my Master might be a sadistic asshole sometimes (who am I kidding? I love it) he is not like that all the time. In fact, the majority of dominants are sadistic only in a scene with
...

All dominants are sadistic, womanizing assholes.

While my Master might be a sadistic asshole sometimes (who am I kidding? I love it) he is not like that all the time. In fact, the majority of dominants are sadistic only in a scene with another, an asshole when requested, and far from womanizing. The majority of dominants respect women who are submissive, as well as men who are submissive, greatly and take their feelings and such into consideration. There is no level of womanizing involved nor is there any discrimination or looking down upon because of status. Most only involve the status aspect when they are involved in a relationship.

Anybody can be an asshole...Its not specific to any community.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.

I actually cannot be a proper Dominant to someone unless I have an emotional attachment too them. In order for me to desire and actually want their submission, I need that piece. I can Dom someone for play, like in a dungeon setting, quite easily, but to actually have someone be my slave 24/7, I need more than just play compatibility.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but that doesn't mean that will be who you are for all time. I'm submissive and I always will be. Master was an owned slave to a Mistress a long time ago and he learned how to BE a good Master for me through that relationship. You can be who you want to be and explore what you want in kink. It's not an end all be all type deal.

Oh, absolutely! We plan to educate our future children when they are old enough to understand that not everyone lives the way we do. They will respect each other and the people around them...or there will be HELL to pay

There is nothing wrong with intimacy other than one's own partner because some people are compatible on the bdsm level but not on other levels. I may have a partner who I love who is completely vanilla, but I need someone to fill the BDSM part of
...

There is nothing wrong with intimacy other than one's own partner because some people are compatible on the bdsm level but not on other levels. I may have a partner who I love who is completely vanilla, but I need someone to fill the BDSM part of me (this is an example, not exactly true). That's how it is for some. Yes, BDSM is a very intimate form of sharing one's wants and desires with another, that exchange, but it's not necessarily sexual or even something that's lived for a set amount of time. The two may play nicely together in a dungeon setting, but they may not outside of that.

Hope that that helps!

It does help, thank you. It also raises a slew of other questions, not the least of which being: is it common for people in the lifestyle to be romantically/sexually spoken for but play with others on a platonic level? Perhaps I simply haven't been exposed to the scene long enough, but I've observed more people who play either with their sexual partners or have agreements with said partners to play sexually/non-platonica lly with others. I could easily be mistaken, but it seems more common for polyamorous relationships to occur amongst play partners rather than keeping the level of intimacy strictly non-sexual/romantic.

It seems the ideal D/s relationship demands a great deal of investment from all parties involved, so the idea of that relation being relegated to a 'casual' play or to something aside from complete devotion is strange to me. That could easily be my ignorance speaking, however, so take this with a grain of salt. I understand there is a difference between those who live a BDSM lifestyle and those who participate in sessions of BDSM play, but I'm not sure how wide the spectrum actually is or where along it my questions actually apply.

Perhaps it's the idea of splitting parts of oneself between people instead of seeking one person who can complement oneself as a whole that my comfort zone-- and admittedly, logic-- has trouble seeing the merit of. Would one treat one's BDSM play partners like friends, or something else?

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but
...

Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but that doesn't mean that will be who you are for all time. I'm submissive and I always will be. Master was an owned slave to a Mistress a long time ago and he learned how to BE a good Master for me through that relationship. You can be who you want to be and explore what you want in kink. It's not an end all be all type deal.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but
...

Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but that doesn't mean that will be who you are for all time. I'm submissive and I always will be. Master was an owned slave to a Mistress a long time ago and he learned how to BE a good Master for me through that relationship. You can be who you want to be and explore what you want in kink. It's not an end all be all type deal.

Totally. I started out as submissive, then gravitated into slave... and now? I'm a mix of both with a lot of cunt thrown in. (cunt = doesn't really fit into either sub or slave labels has some freedom but still totally enslaved, generally smart assy, etc)... I call myself a slub. A mix of all three because just one doesn't work for me.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.

And it's a choice. I choose just like he does to participate in this lifestyle. We have a better relationship now than we had the first 15 years that we knew eachother, are more open with eachothers wants and needs.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.

And it's a choice. I choose just like he does to participate in this lifestyle. We have a better relationship now than we had the first 15 years that we knew eachother, are more open with eachothers wants and needs.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like being homosexual. You're born that way. You can't just "decide" one day that that's how you are and what you're into. It may take you years to realize you're into it, but some people aren't born that way. Some people aren't born kinky and they will never discover that they like it in their life. A lot of people don't take that into consideration and say "I brought my husband over to the dark side, but he doesn't like it." Well, he's not into it. What you're into isn't necessarily what he's into and he can't just up and decide that he likes kink if he really doesn't deep down inside. There is nothing you can do to change it, either.

I will say, though, that there are a lot of closet kinksters who don't go out and explore on their own who need a bit of guidance to explore and learn. Again, not everyone is like that, though.

I actually cannot be a proper Dominant to someone unless I have an emotional attachment too them. In order for me to desire and actually want their submission, I need that piece. I can Dom someone for play, like in a dungeon setting, quite easily,
...

I actually cannot be a proper Dominant to someone unless I have an emotional attachment too them. In order for me to desire and actually want their submission, I need that piece. I can Dom someone for play, like in a dungeon setting, quite easily, but to actually have someone be my slave 24/7, I need more than just play compatibility.

<----is feeling my heart well up for you. I think for most that truer words could not be spoken.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but
...

Once you've stated you're one thing you can NEVER EVER CHANGE IT.

Fuck that noise. If anyone tells you that you have to be submissive because you said you were when you went to a party, screw them. You may start off submissive, but that doesn't mean that will be who you are for all time. I'm submissive and I always will be. Master was an owned slave to a Mistress a long time ago and he learned how to BE a good Master for me through that relationship. You can be who you want to be and explore what you want in kink. It's not an end all be all type deal.

Well, I don't play with others on a BDSM or sexual level. Master and I have our sex life and we have our BDSM life. In my past, though, the scenes I shared with others were intimate, but there was nothing sexual about it. Not even kissing. I
...

Well, I don't play with others on a BDSM or sexual level. Master and I have our sex life and we have our BDSM life. In my past, though, the scenes I shared with others were intimate, but there was nothing sexual about it. Not even kissing. I was able to scratch an itch I had to play and that's all it was. In my current relationship, though, both the sex and the BDSM play plays a part in fulfillment in our relationship, though if we cut one of those things out we'd still be happy. Does that make sense?

Yes, I believe it does. Thanks for your response, I'm digesting all of this meticulously.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like
...

EVERYONE is kinky.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like being homosexual. You're born that way. You can't just "decide" one day that that's how you are and what you're into. It may take you years to realize you're into it, but some people aren't born that way. Some people aren't born kinky and they will never discover that they like it in their life. A lot of people don't take that into consideration and say "I brought my husband over to the dark side, but he doesn't like it." Well, he's not into it. What you're into isn't necessarily what he's into and he can't just up and decide that he likes kink if he really doesn't deep down inside. There is nothing you can do to change it, either.

I will say, though, that there are a lot of closet kinksters who don't go out and explore on their own who need a bit of guidance to explore and learn. Again, not everyone is like that, though.

Some also don't explore that side of themselves even when it's quite evident because they have misconceptions about the people involved in the lifestyle and the stigma they believe goes with it.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't all have to deal with whips and chains.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like
...

EVERYONE is kinky.

False. Not everyone is kinky. Some people are not into kink whatsoever and it doesn't interest them. There isn't a switch you can flip to make someone suddenly become interested in kink. It's kind of like being homosexual. You're born that way. You can't just "decide" one day that that's how you are and what you're into. It may take you years to realize you're into it, but some people aren't born that way. Some people aren't born kinky and they will never discover that they like it in their life. A lot of people don't take that into consideration and say "I brought my husband over to the dark side, but he doesn't like it." Well, he's not into it. What you're into isn't necessarily what he's into and he can't just up and decide that he likes kink if he really doesn't deep down inside. There is nothing you can do to change it, either.

I will say, though, that there are a lot of closet kinksters who don't go out and explore on their own who need a bit of guidance to explore and learn. Again, not everyone is like that, though.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't
...

Everyone into kink likes to be beaten and hit.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't all have to deal with whips and chains.

HAHAHA!!! Well, sure everyone likes being beaten and hit! (sarcasm)

I'm...not by any stretch of the imagination into that. Though I have met many Dom/mes who are!

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't
...

Everyone into kink likes to be beaten and hit.

There are plenty of people I know who actually hate impact play. There are plenty of things to do in BDSM that don't involve impact like fire play, wax play, massages, etc. It doesn't all have to deal with whips and chains.