It's because the State Department just replaced "mother" and "father" with the gender-neutral terms "Parent 1" and "Parent 2." Uh-oh: political correctness is destroying America's families! Our documents will magically turn us all into same-sex married couples now.

Deputy assistant secretary of State for Passport Services Brenda Sprague says the new forms—slated for a February release—are only meant to reflect modern-day reality, which finds many loving, same-sex couples raising kids in happy, healthy homes. "[W]ith changes in medical science and reproductive technology ... we are confronting situations now that we would not have anticipated 10 or 15 years ago," she told Fox News. With the new forms, same-sex parents will no longer have to awkwardly put their names in fields that don't fit: dads won't have to put their names under "mother" when their partners have already claimed the "father" field, and moms won't have to list themselves as "father" when their partners have already taken "mother."

But this is bad, say folks like Robert Jeffress, pastor of the First Baptist Church in Dallas, because the forms will make gay people feel comfortable raising kids. As it so happens, Jeffress runs an anti-"War on Christmas" website called Grinch Alert. Maybe he should stop being a Grinch about America's passport forms.