Born and raised NYC Urban Latina suffering from a severe bout of Gabriel Garcia Marquez induced insomnia. Every night and into the wee hours of the morning, I ramble incessantly into my laptop over the things I know best...music, women, dating and NYC culinary delights. A true foodie indeed! Let me indulge your senses....

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A couple of weeks ago, my brother-in-law extraordinaire took my friends and I on a quick tour of his favorite Chinatown eats. We started our tour walking from City Hall to his favorite dumpling spot in Chinatown, creatively called the Fried Dumpling at 106 Mosco Street. We ordered 5 dumplings for $1. It's literally a hole in the wall. The dumplings are so fresh and light, unlike the big bulky dumplings/wontons you get at those crappy take-outs.

Walking up Mosco Street reminded me of the little Chinese lady who used to make her famous Hong Kong cakes back in the day. Her little red gated shack is still there. It's on the corner of Mott and Mosco Streets.

We used to wait on line for up to half an hour for 2 bags of her famous, hot, toasty and yummy cakes. Boy, do I miss her!

Next stop was getting some authentic Chinese style beef jerky at New Beef King 89 Bayard Street. At first, I was hesitant to try this spot out. I've never really had beef jerky. The only beef jerky I've ever seen were those nasty looking beef sticks at the bodega/grocery stores. My brother-in-law ordered us the fruit flavored beef jerky, pork strip jerky and regular beef strips.

I have to say that I fell in love. I have gone back 2x since then. My favorite has to be the fruit flavored beef jerky and pork strip jerky. I haven't tried the other ones, but I will the next time I go back. This is another must on your Chinatown tour!

Since we were pretty much full from the dumplings and jerky, we roamed the streets of Chinatown to walk it off. We stopped at this little old school Chinese owned stationary store that sells everything from hand fans to snaps. Who knew snaps could be so much fun at our age?

We stocked up on snaps and tossed them at people walking by. Yes I know, we are supposed to be mature adults, but it was so much fun. In the end we just tossed them at one another. The snap game ended when my sister tossed one towards my head as I was putting my Yankee cap on and it busted on my hand. It hurt lol. After laughing and creating havoc with the snaps, champagne poppers and faux Chinese New Year "fireworks", we were hungry for some dinner.

Our final stop was Joe's Shanghai. My BFF Dee has made me boycott Joe's Shanghai for years, but I broke down and cheated. It was amazing! I've been dreaming of these dumplings ever since. I even went to their original Queens location, but the Chinatown location is better. Joe's Shanghai is famous for their soup dumplings The minute you sit at a table, the waiter already wants to know which dumplings you want to order. You have a choice of pork or seafood/crabmeat dumpling. Both are equally delicious. They come in a bamboo steamer basket.

There is way to eat these dumpling since they are filled with soup. You pick up the dumpling from the top with the tongs. You place the dumpling on your soup spoon. You then break a little hole with your teeth on the side of the dumpling. This enables you to drink or slurp the soup from inside the dumpling. Now remember, these are piping hot! The soup inside the dumpling is also VERY hot. So be careful that you don't burn your lips. I've warned you! The rest of the food there is pretty good. Make sure you hit this spot. These dumplings are amazing. Whenever I post a mobile upload of these dumplings on my FB page, I get tons of comments saying how much people love these dumplings or asking where did I get them.

In the future, I'll add the rest of my favorite Chinatown eats. For now, this is a great quickie jump off for those of you who want to start exploring Chinatown in NYC. So forget about going to Chinatown to get your bootleg Gucci bag or bootleg Prada sunglasses. Go to Chinatown and get some authentic & original culinary fare!

All work and no play makes everyone a dull person. With that being said, we all deserve a break mid week to help us make it to Friday. What better way to break the work monotony than with happy hour Wednesdays! Happy Hour is the ideal time to get great drinks at a cheap price. My favorite place for happy hour hands down is at The Lexington Social.

The Lexington Social is located up in East Harlem or better known to New Yorkers as El Barrio. They offer happy hour every day from 3pm-7pm. Their deal is $4 well drinks and $2 beers. Nice huh? As of a month ago, they also started offering a Mediterranean tapas menu created by Chef Saul Montiel. The tapas menu is also a great deal. You can either get one order for $7 or 3 different tapas for $18. We normally do the 3 for $18 deal since it's usually 4-5 of us.

I recommend the spinach and ricotta dumplings. They are delicious! The Sicilian meatballs are also extremely tasty and full of flavor. I know who would've thought?

Yet Saul really did a great job in selecting the right spices and seasonings. The meat sauce that accompanies them is also delicious. I'm very picky about my tomato/meat sauces. I don't like sweet heave sauces. This sauce is light which evens out the heaviness of the meatballs.

Our third favorite tapas is the baked orecchiette with peas, wild mushroom and prosciutto in a parmesean cheese sauce. The baked orechhiette is like some boughie italian version of mac and cheese. We also recently tried the pulpo ceviche and it was also a hit. The decision to serve Mediterranean tapas has been a wise for the Social. The portions are ideal, the tapas are the delicious and the fact that they are pasta based helps keep your level of intoxication in check.

Your first trip to the Social should be during happy hour. I recommend Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays because my favorite bartender Lyah works those days. Lyah is famous for her happy hour margaritas.

Get them with or without salt and trust me you'll end up having at least 4 before happy hour is over. They also have a pretty descent beer on tap selection. It covers the basics: Guinness, Coors Light, Blue Moon, Six Point Ale, Pork Slap, Kelso IPA, and Sam Adams Seasonal. They also carry bottles of Corona, Negro Modelo, Stella Artois, Pacifico and Sam Adams Lager. I'm a Belgian beer type of chica, so its always going to be Stella. I'm going to request that they get DT (Delirium Tremens). That would make this place heaven for me.

The staff at the Social are great and friendly. Everyone that I bring to the Social always goes back. The staff are pretty good at remembering their customers and their drinks. It's not loud and filled with the drunken fraternity type of crowd. Since it's on the border of the UES and East Harlem, its also not filled with the stuffy martini cosmo crowd. With so many bars in NYC, it's definitely nice to go to a bar that makes you feel at home. This is definitely one of my top picks. If you end up going, tell Lyah that La Insomnia sent you.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Not sure what's been going on lately, but for the past couple of months I'm picking up guys. Yes guys. Oh and let me clarify I'm not picking them up, they are either trying to pick me up or flirt with me. I remember the days when I would get hit only by women, but now it's all about the men hitting on me. It feels like I'm living in Bizarro world or that there's a huge blip in my matrix!

What confuses me is that I am not girly by nature. I'm also not one of those women who want to look like or be like a guy. That's not me. I love being a woman. If I had to describe my style, it's "tomboyish". I don't wear girly clothes. I haven't worn a skirt or dress in over 20 years. I have shoulder length hair, I get mani and pedis (french pedis in the summer). I'm a jeans and t-shirt/sweater type of girl. So with that being said, I am not exactly sure why the guys are hitting on me.
Without fail, whenever I'm out a lounge, club or restaurant, I get hit on. It's so freaking bizarre!! At first I thought it was just me blowing up the situation, but I have witnesses. Prime example, about a month ago I had dinner with my crew at Victor's Cafe. We were sitting at the bar waiting for one of our friends (doesn't it seem like I'm always waiting for one of my friends at the bar?). We were laughing and having a good time. This guy stands near me and orders a drink. He decides to strike up a conversation with us and then the conversation shifts to just him and I. I'm a social butterfly & I'm pretty friendly if you approach me right. He was nice and respectful so I chatted up with him.
I knew we took a left turn in Albuquerque when he started asking me where I was heading after dinner and where did I live. At this point, I was like "Oh no, here we go again..ayeeeee...!" He asked me if I was single and maybe we could hang out in the future. Now here is the moment, where I felt like I was in sitcom. It felt like everything just froze, except me and I asked my audience, "What gives him the idea I like men? I'm wearing a button down men's shirt, a blazer, jeans and boots. What part of my ensemble gives him the clue that I like men?". I step back to the bar and everyone starts moving and talking again. He gave me his business card and asked that I call him so we could go out. I politely took his card and told him to have a great night. At this point my friends are rolling at witnessing the spectacle or what I would think is a debacle. I don't know what was worse getting hit on or having my friends witness the entire event.

Whatever crazy blip in the matrix that is causing this series of unfortunate events needs to end. Living in Bizarro world has been strange. I'm not used to having men hitting on me. Let's hope that I get a call from Neo pretty soon telling me my nearest escape route. I also hope that when he calls, he transports me to the Playboy mansion or Miami. That would totally fix the blip in my matrix ;)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I talk mad ish about the UES, but I can't escape it. I have no choice. It's where my office is located and that's what pays my bills. It's often hard to get out of the office, but when I do it's because I want to treat myself. Today was that day. I emailed Beautifully Obsessed to say I was craving for some of our favorite Thai. Her response was "Leave Now". I grabbed my coat, told my staff I was out to lunch and made a mad dash for the emergency exit.Gong was my destination. If you ever crave some some pretty good Thai on the UES, go straight to Gong. Do not pass go and collect $200. It's cheap, the food is always tasty and they have great service. The funny thing is when you say UES, you don't picture the pj's (housing projects to ya'll non city folks).
This place is down the block from the pj's so it's in the mini UESide hood.

I met up with Beautifully Obsessed and ordered our usual. Gong offers a pre fixe lunch menu which is a great deal. For $7.95/$8.95 you get a choice of an appetizer and entree. We always get the spring roll with plum sauce. YUM! Our entrees are different. I always get the chicken pad thai. They make an awesome pad thai. It's not oily or greasy which it can be. The noodles are always cooked right. Beautifully Obsessed always orders the tofu with chili basil sauce.

The service is quick, the food is on point and its a great spot to meet for a quickie. A quickie lunch you pervs! Check them out if you're in the UES hood.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

NYC Restaurant Week or Weeks depending on the economy is one of the best deals in NYC. NYC Restaurant Weekoccurs twice a year. I look forward to it like if it was Christmas. It normally falls in the winter and then in the summer. It is the best time of year to try to cop a reservation to one of those pricey well known restaurants and check out their food for a fraction of the price. This year the dinner deal is $39 pp which includes an appetizer, entree and dessert. Not bad for NYC. So here goes my NYC Latina bullshit-free review of my latest NYC Restaurant Week selection.

Tonight we checked out David Burke Townhouse. Honestly, I had never really heard about it. Yeah, yeah whatever. It's on the UES (Upper East Side for the non New Yorkers). I don't really do the UES. It's way too stuffy and boring for me. One of my friends suggested it and upon the reviews I had read, it seemed like a pretty good choice. Good choice indeed! Reservations for 3 please!

My friend, fellow blogger, Beautifully Obsessedand I arrived there a bit early and sat at the bar while we waited for our organizer. No complaints on the waiting since we had plenty of time to enjoy one of our favorite hobbies....drinking. We ordered 2 different cocktails. I had the Pearagon which was a mixture of Double Cross vodka, pear juice and Chilean wild baby pear. Beautifully Obsessed ordered the Passionate Peruvian. It was made with Pisco 100, passion fruit and Appleton rum. I was extremely excited to try the Pearagon since I'm a huge fan of the pear. I have to say I was disappointed. It didn't have any pear taste whatsoever. It basically tasted like vodka with a super slight hint of pear. In order to finish it, I had to just down it in 2 gulps. I just wanted to move on and get another drink.

Beautifully Obsessed was obsessed with her Peruvian Passion and encouraged me to try it. It was delicious! It was light, not too sweet and refreshing. It would definitely be a cocktail I would order while I lounged on a deck. She was on the money with her cocktail, so I called over our bartender and ordered one. While we were chilling and waiting for our friend, we were served 2 little slices of some type of toasted mini baguette with some eggplant....It was extremely tasty.

Our friend arrived and we were seated. We were offered both their regular menu and their restaurant week menu. Both Beautifully Obsessed and I ordered off the Restaurant Week menu, while our other friend ordered off their regular menu. We started off with pretzel crusted crabcake and sweet chili prawn with confit orange and poppy seed honey. It was off da hook! I would've never thought to cover the crabcake with pretzel sticks. It was definitely a smart move.

My other friend ordered the roasted rack of lamb with grilled octopus served over couscous. Didn't that whole sentence sound boughie? As I was typing it all out, I felt like I needed to say it with a British accent. The rack of lamb was flavorful and not gamey. The octopus was grilled ever so nicely. It wasn't overcooked at all. I would definitely order this on my next trip. That's right folks..it was so tasty that I would order it on a non NYC restaurant week. Boughie!

Beautifully Obsessed and I tried to order different things off their Restaurant Week menu, but since we didn't want either chicken or salmon, we opted for the braised short ribs served over handmade cavatelli, wild mushrooms and mushroom chips. Cavatelli is my least favorite pasta, so I was hesitant at first. I have to admit that DBT made a great homemade cavatelli. It was a nice choice for the wild mushrooms and it held up well under the sauce of the braised short ribs. The sauce wasn't heavy and it was just enough for the ribs to be juicy and tender.

We topped off our great meal with yes several more cocktails, but also with a warm crisp apple tart. I love anything that's like an apple pie, tart or strudel. the tart came with a cider caramel dulce de leche ice cream. It was banging!

For what I thought was going to be a boughie, stuffy and uptight spot, DBT was pretty cool. The wait staff were awesome and friendly. They always made sure we were ok and that our cocktails were always fresh. I'm surprised I was even able to remember this much from our dinner with all the Peruvian Passions I had. I definitely would recommend this place. So go to your Open Table app and with your pinky up, make your reservation because you fancy!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Today I made one of the biggest decisions in my life. Today I broke up with my blackberry. I knew that it was coming to an end between us. I've known for about 2 months. I was procrastinating. I was afraid to move on and possibly realize that I wouldn't be happy. I had 3 options. Get an iphone, get a droid or stay with the blackberry. Deciding whether to stay or move on, definitely felt like I was making a decision regarding a relationship.

I came to this epiphany while I was at the Verizon store. I was roaming between the phones which were strategically placed on opposite sides of the store. Iphone or Droid. Iphone or Droid. It was emotionally taxing. It felt like I was trying to kick it to 2 different girls at a party. Yes I know it sounds dramatic, but it really was. It also doesn't help that I am a commitment phobe.

Overall I made my decision rather quickly. If the decision was solely based on me without any guidance, I would still be there. My Verizon sales rep was AWESOME! Instantly, I told him of my commitment issues. I explained that I have issues making big decisions and I had no idea which phone to pick. He was understanding and patient. He took his time and asked me questions. He asked me what did I use my phone for, what type of computer do I use, do I travel, where do I travel, etc. He sensed my anxiety and was just patient with me.

Why can't I have a sales/support rep when I go on my dates? I realized that I need someone like my Verizon rep to guide me as to what would be the ideal choice for me. I'm one of those people that instantly get caught up with the looks. That's what first geared me to possibly getting the iphone. It was sleek and slim. Everyone loves the iphone. The iphone would be popular and accepted by my friends. At that point, I thought it was an easy decision. Then my trusty Verizon sales rep introduced me to who hopefully will be my partner for the next 2 years (contract or prenup, you pick). The Droid X.

Can I say S-E-X-Y? I normally don't like my phones with a little extra in the battery, but she fits oh so nicely in my hand. She's a gunsmith black/gray, slick, shiny and sexy. She is jam packed with apps that I have no idea what to do with. At the touch of my fingertips, she can perform all sorts of feats that leaves me speechless. Her 8.0 mp lens shoots the clearest pictures. I can boost her energy with the plug she came with or my bb and nook charger. She's so easily pleased. Whooooheeee! She's smokin! Now the 2 main factors that sealed the deal for me and got me me on bended knee was #1 her battery can be replaced/purchased (unlike the iphone) and #2 I can add memory without having to purchase another iphone with more memory. So not only is she amazing, but she helps me save some $$$. I can't say that about my other dates.

Finally the moment of truth came and I had to say 'Yes'. My sales rep took me to the counter and asked for my bb. I was so sad to say good-bye, but I knew it had to end. We had some great times, but she had been letting me down. I wasn't getting messages and she couldn't perform new tricks for me. I was bored. I easily get bored. She had my back, but I couldn't always count on her. She could be moody and ungrateful. Before it got any worse and I ditched her out the window, I decided to be mature and break it off. Once my rep took my bb and started touching her buttons, I wanted to die. I didn't want someone else playing with her. I knew he was moving my contacts over and within a couple of minutes she would be deactivated. I stood there and just stared at her laying on the counter and then in instant, she was gone. I wanted to lean over and start pressing the trackball like if it was CPR. For a split second, I regretted letting her go....then he turned on my DROID X.

With sadness in my eyes, I looked at her as he introduced us. He showed me how to turn her on and how with my slightest touch she could do anything I asked. Well almost anything. I wiped away the one tear and held her. I caressed her. I made a promise to her in that Verizon store that I would be loyal to her as long as she was loyal to me. I told her she had 14 days to prove her loyalty to me, if not I would go to plan B (the iphone). She wasn't too happy, but she understood. She knew that if she wanted to be my main chick and not the side chick, she needed to show and prove.

With new found hope, I signed my name on that dotted line. I handed over my debit card and paid for her in full. As I sit and write this entry, my new woman is sitting right next to me. She has provided soothing music when I was lonely, she has told me what's going on with my friends thru Facebook, she's told me to bundle up when the weather widget appears, she's keeping to her battery usage diet since I want her to live a nice 2 years with me and lastly she has kept her promise of making sure I've received all my messages. If only dating was this easy.....

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Ah Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love. Boy do I love me some Philly! Last night I was part of an amazing culinary experience and did I ever get some brotherly love! Let's not get crazy now. I didn't switch teams. I had one of the best tapas to date and in Philly nonetheless!

Tinto is where it's at. It's in the heart of Philly around Rittenhouse Square. When you walk in, you feel warm and cozy. It's dimly light, there's a bar with barrels of 3 different types of sangria and a vast collection of wines. Tinto's decor and menu is Basque inspired. It's a great place to meet up with friends and to go on a date.

Since we didn't have reservations, we are asked to wait for about 10-15 minutes. By the time we walked to the bar and ordered our drinks, our table was ready. I had the Tinto sangria. I started off with just a glass since not many places or people can make a great sangria. I have to say it was great! The other place where I have had amazing sangria was in Saigon, Vietnam! My friend ordered the Estrella lager. She wasn't too happy with it. I didn't have any flavor. I recommended the Alhambra Negra and she wasn't dissappointed. It's a dark beer that's not too heavy & it's packed with flavor. If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend it.

Once we quenched our thirst, we started off our culinary experience with Ensalda de Arugula (Arugula salad). (As a side note, I am allergic to almonds. Once I told my waiter this, he was deligent in keeping me from ordering anything with almonds. Dos Caminos Soho should take note!) The Ensalda de Arugula had pieces of Serrano ham, mission figs, 3 fried goat cheese balls and all drizzled by a Sevilla orange vinagrette. It normally comes with spiced almonds, but like I said my waiter was awesome on keeping them out of the salad. The salad was crisp, fresh, light, flavor, not too citrusy and the figs were just the perfect touch. I am not a big fan of figs, but when I tell you that it made the salad complete.

Next up at bat were the tapas. Our first serving was the Montaditos de Pato (Duck Canapes). Do I have to tell you that I had reached the 1st level of culinary heaven? Oh, the duck confit was meaty, soft and melted in your mouth. The curing and the spicing of the duck leg was superb. I've had duck confit at other places and right now Tintos has become #1. We were served the duck confit over a slither of serrano ham which was placed over a piece of some sort of baguette that was covered in la peral spread. On the edge of the bread, was one solid braised black cherry. Once you cut a piece of the black cherry and added it the duck confit, serrano ham and the toasted bread covered in la peral spread, it was a symphony of flavors in my mouth. You could taste each individual flavor, but at the same time they all melted in your mouth in harmony. How could you top that? By washing any remaining flavor simmering in your mouth with some Tinto sangria. Wow!

I was ecstatic about the Pulpo being brought in as we finished the duck. Esthetically, the dish was beautiful. The pulpo was served with smoked roe, truffle espuma and brioche. It also came accomopanied on the side of the plate what tasted like lemon powder. I have to say the dish was ok. The first time I tasted it, I wasn't impressed. I thought the flavor combinations were too overpowering and confusing in my mouth. I tried it again and again I felt the same way. The one thing I have to say is that the pulpo was grilled to perfection. It wasn't rubbery or hard at all. This would be the only dissapointment for me.

Wild Mushrooms was next. They were cooked and served in our own little cast iron pan. They were cooked with shallots, roasted potato and parsley. The mushrooms weren't oily or overcooked. They were delicious!

With the exception of the pulpo, everything was absolutely heaven. I could not imagine that our final tapas would be Chef Jose Garces' piece de resistance! Revueltos. That one word makes me want to run back to Tinto. The Revueltos is a soft and I mean soft scrambled egg, with lobster, goat cheese and spinach. This was my favorite dish hands down. The minute I tasted all the flavors, the lobster, the goat cheese and spinach in my mouth, I had to bang on the table. It was PERFECT! I hadn't had a tapas, no let's say dish that inspired me to run to the nearest airport and buy a ticket for the Basque country. Who knew? Who freakin knew that this was going to be not just an amazing night with one of my bff's, but a heavenly culinary experience? If my life ever flashes before my eyes, I hope this particular moment, the Revuelto moment is one of them. Once we finished the Revuelto, I did not even want to order dessert. I didn't want to get rid of the flavors in my mouth.

Yet we had to order dessert! How could we not?!! We opted for the Gauteux Basque which is a traditional Basque cake with black cherries and pastry cream. When our server brought it to the table, she explained the dessert and then said "almonds". I explained to her that I was allergic and that my waiter was aware. She apologized and asked us to order a substitute. We ordered the Baba Au Rhum since we didn't want to do the cliche flourless cake. The Baba Au Rhum was delicious. It was accompanied by crisp apple confit and serrano vanilla ice cream.

Hands down Tinto is where it's AT! La Insomnia highly recommends this place. If you are in Philly, you definitely have to make your way here. What sealed the deal for me is that Chef Jose Garces is a paisano!! He's of Ecuadorian descent just like yours truly. Mi raza makes me so proud! Go Ecuadorian Iron Chef!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Doesn't it seem unfair that only men can catcall at women? Women don't catcall men and women don't catcall other women...until now. As Latinas, we always have much to say. Sometimes we don't say what we should be saying and only say the crap others want to hear. Well this is your chance to change shit up.

So my friend started this new catcall which we do outside our favorite watering hole when everyone goes out for a smoke. Like typical dudes we stand outside talking smack and as people walk by (men and women), we 'Rawr' them. We don't 'roar', we 'rawr'. It's a roar with a spanish accent. We tend to roll the R in 'rawr' if our object of desire is extremely attractive. If not, it's just a regular 'rawr'. Nothing dramatic. Not only do we say it once, but we say it about 2-3x to each person to see if they turn around.

No one has gotten offended or angry when we 'rawr' them. They actually smile, laugh, giggle or just give us a bizarre look. We even 'rawr' the unattractive folks. Everyone should be 'rawred' at some point in their life. Bendito! Who doesn't want to get 'rawred'? We don't discriminate as we are equal opportunity rawr catcallers. It definitely breaks the monotony of many peoples lives. I'm saying here they are innocently walking by us looking all serious or glum and then you hear one of us start revving up the rawr. It starts off as low and deep, then transforms into a sexy guttural 'rrrrrrrrrrrrrAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR'! We don't yell or scream it, but it's loud enough that you can hear it.

I definitely think there should be a lot more rawring around. It's a great icebreaker and it's created funny memorable situations for us. So the next time you are out during happy hour with some of your friends, go outside on a nice night and spot a cutie. Tell yourself, "le va gustar el rawr" and let it rip. Trust me you won't be disappointed.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What is up with girls and these fake n bakes? So I'm walking down the street and see what appears to be a hottie. Then I see her when she turns around and she's....ORANGE...NARANJA..or as the puerto ricans say..CHINA. Now, I'm all for a little color, but NOT orange. A good friend of mine coined the term 'cheese doodles' for these orange female specimens. Cheese doodles is perfect.

I'm saying do you not own a mirror? Can you actually see that you are a hue of orange and not brown?

The cheese doodle phenomena is really for the white girls, but I've been starting to notice some orange Latinas.

Yes I know the winter in NYC has been brutal this year, but to go orange?

There are some fads that should stay with certain groups of people. Cheese doodling it up is not for Latinas.

So ladies, let me give it to you straight. It doesn't look cute. Your green eggs and ham orange book cover tan looks horrible. Tone it down. If you have the urge to get a spray tan or fake n bake, just go light, not crazy.

My fellow Latinas...por favor just don't do it. I love you pale and pasty in the winter. You can hang on a couple of more months because I've started to see the sun peek out through the clouds. Just hang on because you don't want to look like this....ave maria!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

So what can I say, I'm a sucka for a smart chick. A smart chick turns me on like nothing in the world. Hearing her speak about a book she just read, her profession, current events, how she feels about what's going on the Mideast or commenting on her taste in fashion, music or art is a mental aphrodisiac. If she's attractive, then she's well on her way to falling into the "wifey" category. That's future Mrs. LaInsomnia to you folks!

It's shocking to me that I don't really get a chance to meet that many smart and beautiful smart chicks. The ones in my circle are my friends which are out of bounds. The rest of the chicks I meet randomly at bars, parties, through friends etc. lack substance, personality and or a brain. I realized tonight that I need to either a) attend more 'nerdy' events such as the Junot Diaz speaking engagement or b) I need to get my ass back to school.
Sitting amongst all the Junot fans, I noticed that more than half were women. Half of those women were attractive women and you know they were smart because they were THERE!
Being true to my Leo self and of course reverting back to my basic flirting 101 skills, I struck up a conversation with a rather intelligent and attractive woman. We were both waiting on line and of course I was feeling all herbish waiting like a groupie for an autograph that I decided to grab my balls (ok my hat) and strike up a conversation. I asked her if she had read the book she was holding. We did the whole back and forth thing for a minute and then this old dude behind her tried to cockblock. Whatever dude. You have WHITE HAIR. You are OLD!
Anyways you may be thinking...did I get her number? Of course not. Do I even know if she liked women? No. Do I even care? No. Do I ever care? Absolutely not. The problem was I completely forgot about her the minute I stepped up to chat with Junot while he signed my book. I then left skipping like a pathetic school kid. See what smarties do to me? It doesn't matter if they are women or men. I love smarties! I just won't sleep with male smarties.
Regardless, meeting this woman reminded me yet again of the type of woman I dig. I always get all tangled up in the beauty part which is like an oasis. You think it's going to satisfy you, but it doesn't. It's all show. I need to focus on what really turns me on. Brains.....
I'm looking for a Latina who can who can stimulate my senses, caress my thoughts, tease my intellect, play with my mind, stroke my ideas and make them grow and most importantly of all allow me to do the same. Thinking and meditating by yourself is like mental masturbation. It feels awesome, but it feels even better when someone else participates or helps you. Apparently, I do need to get my ass back to school. Graduate school seems to be the jumpoff to finding the woman of my dreams or fantasies..oh and that's right to also get a degree..(ahem).

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

One thing about me that you must know is that I LOVE HIP HOP. Not that fake ass Lil Wayne crap, but true Hip Hop. Common, Mos Def, Talib, Black Star etc. I also love Latino Hip Hop. With that being said, these are some of favorite Latino Hip Hop artists.

Ana Tijoux..French born Chilean rapper.

She was born in France since her parents lived there in exile during Pinochet's dictatorship. Not only is she hot, but she can spit and her beats are dope. She rhymes flawlessly. She's been around for a minute rhyming with a group and doing collabos with artists like Julieta Venegas and Control Machete. Not only does she rhyme in Spanish, but she also rhymes in French. She released her autobiographical album called "1977" which is the year that she was born. It's also the title off her single. Check it out below and tell me this song isn't hot!

My favorite song off that album is 'Obstaculo'. The beat is fresh and check out a sample of the lyrics..

This guy can also rhyme. I've seen him perform several times. I became an instant fan when I first saw him perform at a fundraiser for the homeless about 3 years ago at the Bronx Museum of Art. As soon as he was done performing, I had to cop his cd. It's definitely one of my favorite playlists.

Lastly, there is this Dominican female MC, Arianna Puello.

I just discovered her about 2 days ago. She definitely has a new fan.

Let me know what you think about my picks. I definitely have more to recommend. Enjoy!

Monday, February 7, 2011

About 3 years ago, I was reading the sex advice column on the last page of L Magazine. There was an article on the theory that women have more than one G spot. According to the red head (sex advice writer), there are theories of there being an A spot and a U spot. The minute I got off the train (I picked up the mag in Brooklyn of course), I ran to my laptop and did some research.

Research I did. Not only did I read up on the theory, but I also decided to put it to the test. I have to say it's not a theory to me. I've proven it on different women on several occasions. These 2 additional 'spots' do work, but obviously the intensity of the climax varies from woman to woman. So for you beginners or those that don't have the slightest idea where the G spot is. Let's do a quick 101.
The G Spot is a small area inside the vagina, along the inner walls about 2-3 inches towards the stomach, right behind the pelvic bone. Ay look at the picture below if you don't get it....#4 is where it's at!

Once you master the G spot you can move on to the other 2. Now don't get me wrong, there are more erogenous zones other than these 3. Like I said earlier, every woman is different. They all have different erogenous zones. Some like being bitten on the neck. That's their zone. Some women don't climax from penetration. Some women can only climax through oral stimulation, while others need both. So these spots are just additional areas that you should explore in your gal.

So let's get back to the master plan....The A spot is a mad sensitive area at the end of the vaginal tube/canal between the cervix and the bladder. Yes mad deep if you don't have a penis. That would be me. I have to tell you that it is possible. I say that with pride! Supposedly this sensitive area is equivalent to the prostate. Now from my personal experience, the reaction varies from woman to woman. I have had instances where there were climactic convulsions while on others, it didn't do much. Once again it all leads to trial and error.

The final spot is the U spot. Once again it is an area of mad sensitive tissue, but this time its located around and above the urethral opening and between the vagina. This one is pretty easy to be found. You don't need to really penetrate. All you need is to caress it with either your tongue, etc...

Surf the net and read up on these 2 other spots. I don't give a shit that they all say they are theories. I've actually put them to the test and they have indeed worked. Tell your man about it or tell your girl about it. Hey tell them all. Why keep such information from anyone? If it brings your orgasm to a whole new level, well I've done my job. Let me know if you know of other spots. I'm always ready to soak up some knowledge and enhance my skills.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If you are from NYC, you know that pizza just ain't pizza. NYC pizza is the only pizza I eat. I've tried to eat it in different states and in different parts of the world. My ultimate conclusion is that it sucks everywhere, but in NYC. I haven't been to Italy, but they are the exception. I'm saying they;re the motherland of Pizza.

There has to be a pizza spot every 2-3 blocks in NYC. I don't know how people can just walk in and just order a slice and eat it. I can't do that. There are particular spots in NYC that I will only eat pizza from. There are all these fake ass pizza spots popping up all over the city. There's the famous or 'infamous' $1 a slice spot. I won't mention the name, but you get what you pay for. Then there are the 2 different "original ray's" pizza spots. They both suck. Their sauce is too sweet and the dough is too thick and 'doughy'.

A great NYC slice of pizza has just enough sauce (not sweet), plenty of cheese and the most important part of the pizza is the dough. When a slice is cooked just right, you know it because you hear it and feel it. When the pizza guy places your slice on the paper and you grab and fold it, the slice is to supposed to break in half. It's not supposed to fold like a goddamn soft taco. You need to hear the crack. Its very similar to hearing the skin crack when you bite into a real Coney Island Nathan's hot dog. That's a whole other post.

If I have to tell you my 2 favorite spots in the city (borough wide), they can both be found on the planet of BROOKLYN! You can't be surprised. I'm saying Brooklyn is where all the Italians are. Two of my favorite spots are Totonno's in Coney Island (not the other locations) and Di Fara's on Avenue J. The 3rd runner up would be Patsy's, but the one is Spanish Harlem not those tourist traps.

If I am in the mood for a good old fashioned slice of pizza, I have no problem whipping out my metrocard and taking an hour and half ride to CI. It's worth the trip. So make sure your ipod is charged, you have cash in your pocket (cash only) and you get there early (if the pizza dough runs out, you are assed out...NO PIZZA FOR YOU!). Go there early, make a day of it. Check out the Aquarium, snack on a hot dog or candied apple, get on the bumper cars and cap it all off with a classic Napoletan slice of pizza. Boy do I love my city!

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About Me

Lover of women, great food and sex..in no particular order.
True to my NYC Latina roots,
I cut through the bullshit and get straight to the point.
Food + Women+ Sex + Music=Love=Life..........
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