Comic Relief or a Nap

Things have been kind of serious lately and one thing that really helped me through the various phases of recovery was humor. I learned to laugh at life, and even more important — I learned to laugh at myself.

Today I had a voice lesson, and my favorite part was to take out my guitar, start the finger picking intro like a dozen of my other songs, and then switch into the rhythmic I wish I could be normal song. There is something refreshing about that. Okay, so that’s my private joke.

Afterwards I had to rush off to pick up my kids for a double dentist appointment. I like to do that, because it appears that it could make life easier. Does it? Not always. Their schedules today are such that it wasn’t possible to just pick both up, go, and leave together. I picked my daughter up, brought her to the dentist, then went to pick up my son, who had just come home from school. We drove right back to the dentist’s office. When it was his turn, I left him there and drove my daughter to her next appointment.

During a few minutes of quiet in the car, my thoughts wandered to how I would spend the free afternoon. With a jolt, I remembered that my son was still at the dentist’s and would expect me to pick him up! I told my daughter and she cracked up. Imagine just forgetting your child at the dentist’s office while you live it up at home with a cup of coffee and a good book!

I’m a little out of it because I didn’t have a good lunch. I ate an energy bar on the way there, then thought I’d get a bite to eat with my son afterwards, but he didn’t want to. I dropped him off at his friend’s and bought a few groceries on the way home. By then I was so hungry and tired that I wasn’t in the mood to cook anything. So I just had some yoghurt, followed by a cup of coffee and a pastry. I know, I know, that is really not the most nutritious lunch. I added a few spoonfuls of peanut butter to give me some kind of protein or substance. Played guitar and sang for a while, but I am really tired.

Why am I rambling on like this? Because this is a typical wipe-out day. All the running around, picking up, dropping off, not eating — it really tires me out. That’s another typical situation that could set off a binge. You know — the just snacking, tired, really want a good meal but too tired to bother, then maybe feel deprived by the snack because a wholesome meal would have been better, but then you’re not hungry kind of situation… And I just realized I’m even too tired to laugh. So I’ll write about humor some other time.

What to do? By now, it’s almost suppertime. I think I will meditate (which will most likely turn into more of a nap) and then figure out something nice for supper. A warm meal works wonders — even if it’s just spaghetti and tomato sauce. And that is so low-effort, I can make it while sleep-walking.

There is a point to this rambling. What I’m trying to describe is a less-than-optimal situation that doesn’t have to become a binge or related bad experience. You just need to slow down. Take a few minutes to evaluate the situation, your needs, and consider what would satisfy you. That will help you conjure up the extra energy necessary to make a good meal. Afterwards you’re sure to feel better. If not, it’ll almost be bedtime, so go ahead — go to bed, and curl up with a book until your eyelids fall shut. That feels good. And tomorrow you’ll wake up and possibly feel well-rested. As opposed to waking up exhausted, after an afternoon/evening of bingeing and puking — all because you got a little tired and didn’t eat well enough at the right time.

Of course, this preventive advice is based on the physiologically-induced binge situation (hungry and tired). I haven’t mentioned emotional or psychological factors (angry and lonely, for example). There are all different kinds of situations propitious for bingeing, and various strategies to avoid it. It just takes some patience, creativity, awareness and lots of practice — one step at a time. By the way, I don’t mean to offend anybody with the word “puking” — but I like to tell it how it is. There’s no point in making it sound more attractive than it is, don’t you think?

No it shows that you are human – I myself ramble quite a bit, I get creative with words that mean nothing to others but mean the world to me, I get loopy and then I get shocked that people respond to my ramble – don’t cut yourself short 😉

A few things, I love the way you write, it connects with my soul, it speaks to it both experientially and spiritually. Your fighting spirit shines through as well as your kindness, so often when we experience things, especially self abuse, we tend to want to hide it away out of site, we don’t realise that by sharing it it halves our burdens and that of others.

Don’t ever stop writing, from the heart or the mind, your words are a gift to the world 🙂