i dont know where to put this but read please

so i dont know if any of you have noticed i have not been on for about a week or so and thats because ((as someone told me just last night)) im throwing myself a fucking pity party but well i cant help it. you see my soul sister ((not a real sister but we considered ourselves sisters and even had our mothers calling us sisters and such)) well she was hit by a drunk driver and killed and well i am crushed because not only was it hard to deal with but the last time we saw each other we faught and like not a hour before she got in the car she called me and left me a message about how she loved me and that i should call her. i just am kinda feeling that if i was to pick up we would have talked like we normally do and i would have kept her from getting in the car. Im sorry everyone but i might not be on for the next week ((at least till monday if even then))

im sorry everyone i love you all i mean i fucking hate some of you because i like hate how awesome you are but i just cant deal with people right now. that and the fact that mother nature is a fucking bitch and making me even more emotional and in pain. Right now im what you might call a shell because i feel pretty dead inside and i just want the world to go away for awhile so please forgive me leaving for awhile.

I am an aggressive. I love adding to the flavor of a story and bringing in NPCs (I sometimes fall in love with NPCs and make them full characters). There are times when I want to be lazy though so I don't mind playing in a game someone else is directing.

Favorite Genres:

Fantasy, be it full blown other world, modern Earth or spacey. I don't mind other genres. I love action in general.

Eh. I don't have many in mind I would not enjoy.. Intense like action, meh.. War Hammer/Space Marines, meh. Historic, meh.

I'm so sorry that happened..
I do not believe, though, if you had called, that it would of stopped the fate of your Soul Sister. None of this is your fault.. please, don't believe it is your fault in any way. :< That will make it worse for you.. And you do not need to do that to yourself right now, especially not now with the grief that you must be feeling.
If anything, I am certain she forgives you for anything you may feel sorry for. I am positive she is still beside you in spirit, and she still loves you. -nod.-

I know what it feels like to lose a soul sister and I understand your pain. It isn't a pity party, it is really a part of you dying inside. Eventually, and I hate to put it this way, but it's true, the pain dulls, but never leaves. Life happens, and we move on, but we still think about what could've been if only we did this, or that, or even said that.

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's really all I can say, and like Equinox said, the pain does eventually dull but it doesn't ever leave. I have lost so many people I loved in the past couple of years, so I know how you feel.

If you need to talk to someone, I'm here. I know you don't really know me or anything, but sometimes that makes it better to talk about it.

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