Sunday, November 14, 2010

This post is about an article from the Saturday, November 13, 2010 Chicago Sun-Times newspaper (AP). What is excerpted below sounds like something from a newspaper out of the 14th century. This shit is crazy and unbelievable. The fact that their "conference" was considered newsworthy is in itself mind-boggling. Do these Catholic priests actually believe that demonic possession is a real problem in 21st century America?

Ahhh... NO. It's about money and opportunity.

It is a truly sad commentary that millions of people around the world take these bastards seriously. They [Catholic priests] have to be laughing their asses off (with the assistance of a little benedictine, of course) within their respective seminaries, monasteries, presbyteries, and rectories. It is also sad that those same millions of religious dum-dums out there believe that their financial, health or mental challenges can be solved only by supernatural means.

I do understand that exorcism could potentially be a lucrative source of revenue for churches (and not just the Catholic ones - the mega-preachers will be on this soon), if marketed properly. The attitude of clergy is: Hell... If the suckers are out there, why the fuck not?

But really... Read this shit:

"2-Day Conference Aims To Bring Priests Up To Speed On Exorcisms

Citing a shortage of preists who can perform exorcisms, the nations Roman Catholic bishops are sponsoring a conference on how to perform the rite.

The two-day training, starting Friday in Baltimore is to outline the scriptural basis of evil, instruct clergy on evaluating whether a person is truly posessed, and review the prayers and rituals that comprise an exorcism.

'Learning the liturgical rite is not difficult,' said Cardinal Daniel DiNardo, archbishop of Galveston-Houston, Texas. 'The problem is the discernment that the exorcist needs before he would ever attempt the rite.'

Few have the training

More than 50 bishops and 60 priests signed up to attend.

Bishop Thomas Paprocki of Springfield, who organized the conference, said only a tiny number of U.S. priests have enough training and knowledge to perform an exorcism. Dioceses nationwide have been overwhelmed with requests to evaluate claims.

Neal Lozano, a Catholic who has written about combating evil spirits, said he knows an exorcist in the church who receives about 400 inquiries a year, but determines that out of that number, two or three of the cases require an exorcism."

Wow... Christians never cease to amaze.

You know what... Fuck "discernment" - I could open up an "Exorcism Express Store" (can I franchise this?) to take care of those other 397 inquiries (plus) that un-named exorcist won't deal with. This is America - anybody that wants an exorcism should be able to get one. OK?.. Charge a really low price of 750 bucks per exorcism - cheap!!!

That's right - since "dioceses nationwide have been overwhelmed with requests," somebody needs to deliver the services, and get that money.

Or... I could publish a new magazine - "Exorcism Today," where those that offer various exorcism services (consulting, equipment rental, etc.) could place their advertising, along with articles that highlight particular exorcists and their success stories. Not to mention tips and suggestions for exorcism practitioners, and updates on the latest advances in exorcism techniques and technology. Shit... I'll do both!!!