What should I do with my life?Baro, Habib Koite and Bamada. The little white oracle, it speaks obscurely. And in Bambara.

Will I ever have children?Sanana na hey, some Punjabi DJ. Downloaded off of Napster for our wedding music back in the day.

What is some good advice for me?Dancing with tears in my eyes, X. Thanks.Got to be among the most regrettable band names now that technology has changed everything. Searching on this band's name, or on The The, you just don't get anything. That's so punk.

How will I be remembered?Rah-Keet, Kalyanji-Anandji. Well if they're not thinking of me now, I guess wordless Bollywood electronica is all I'm getting after I'm gone. Fine.

What song will play at my funeral?Pagem, Marceneiro. Portuguese fado, it is good funeral music actually.

What type of men do you like?Nach Giddeh-ch, Bal-e. This obscure subcontinental disco stuff is getting a little ridiculous. Of course, as I write this I'm wearing one of my prized possessions: a tattered t-shirt announcing the 50th anniversary of India's independence - in Malayalam.

What is my day going to be like?Miss Dog Miss Me, David Greenberger and 3-Legged Orchestra

And the song that comes on after this silly exercise would have been PERFECT for any of these topics: Bet Your Bottom Dollar on Me by the Swanky Modes (Sam Moore and Junior Walker), from the Tapeheadssoundtrack.