The mighty KALUNGA has taken flopping to a new, extreme level by adding motorcycles, then lying down in front of them.

Marlinton dos Reis Teixeira, known by his nickname ‘Kalunga’, slid on a corner in rainy conditions during the Rio Grande do Sul State Moto Grand Prix in Brazil, causing his bike to stall.

Kalunga failed to get his bike to start and was losing valuable time. He then walked to the middle of the track and threw himself on the ground pretending to be badly injured in an attempt to get the race red-flagged.

The best part is that the other guys on motorcycles didn’t have our point of view, so they think he’s actually hurt and stop to help. Kalunga gets stretchered away for boneitis or whatever, and eventually the MotoRacing Association of Rio Grande do Sul State watches tape and bans him from the championship forever. Now he doesn’t get to compete, but hey, at least he’s got a swell five-minute clip of him emulating The Program in a Brazilian motorbike race and being dragged away like a gimpy horse. Good decisions, bro!

Kalunga, I don’t know what you’re gonna do with your life now, but if you’re reading this, I have a suggestion: surfing. Learn how to do a dead man’s float.

Join The Discussion

This was the best way to start off my Monday morning. My favorite part? When he tried to flag someone down and they kept racing. Even as far away as the camera was, you could see the exact moment he made the decision and said f*** it and just rolled on the track. Great stuff. The only person that flopped worse than this was Shawn Michaels when he was overselling Hulk Hogan.