An international series of protests known as SlutWalks, sparked by a Toronto police officer’s flippant comment …is taking root in the United States.

…SlutWalkers have danced to hip-hop, worn T-shirts with the word “slut” and held signs that read “sluts pay taxes.” Some women have skated around on inline skates in lingerie, while their male supporters wore shirts reading, “I love sluts.”

Billing their event as something for the “whole family”, organizers around the country are promoting “SlutWalks” to build awareness that “sluts pay taxes too,” and to the “slut shaming” that is apparently a big problem for all the um, sluts out there. (Slut shaming, the Associated Press helpfully explains, is “shaming women for being sexual.” Thanks AP!) I’m grateful to msnbc and the Associated Press for making me aware of this great injustice being done to people who, through fate or poor life decisions, are sluts and are being burdened with unwelcome shame.

There have been SlutWalks throughout the country (Dallas, Philly, San Francisco, Seattle). They originated when a Toronto police officer advised a group of university students in a safety seminar to avoid dressing like sluts so as not to be victimized. Apparently, this was incorrect advice and the officer has been reprimanded. However, the outrageous comments of this Neanderthal barbarian has galvanized the previously silent slut population who are taking to the streets throughout North America.

Here is the 21 year old organizer of the Boston Slut Walk, (she must be sorta like a modern Susan B. Anthony)–

It was taking the blame off the rapist and on the victim,” said Nicole Sullivan, 21, a student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston and an organizer of the SlutWalk planned Saturday in that city. “So we are using these efforts to reclaim the word ‘slut.'”

Well, good luck to all the sluts out there, reclaiming the word, “slut.” It’s a shame (no pun intended) that the word ever got hijacked and used to describe, well, sluts.

The article contrasts these nationwide events with the Take Back the Night anti-sexual violence rallies, which are rather tame lame affairs in comparison. Apparently, modern young women want to promote anti-sexual violence by dressing and dancing as, well…sluts. And they have support among the more enlightened young men who proudly wear teeshirts and carry signs that say, “We love sluts.” Yes, I imagine they do.

(At Take Back the Night’s official website, they don’t even have “We love sluts” teeshirts. All they have are some boring “empowerment” and “break the silence” graphics. *Yawn*)

In San Francisco, where the walk just developed “organically” (of course it did; isn’t everything in San Francisco “organic”?), the organizers think this would be a swell outing for daddies and mommies to bring the kiddos.

In San Francisco, SlutWalk organizers want to make their protest a family event.

So dress up your little girls as tiny sluts, pull a “I love sluts” teeshirt on dad and sons, and stomp on out to your local SlutWalk. Because nothing, I mean nothing, deters sexual violence like running around in lingerie.

“…Meanwhile, Charles Skidmore, principal of Arlington High School, where a Maria Talks poster hangs in the nurse’s office, said, “I’m assuming because it’s from the Department of Public Health, it’s balanced information. There’s so much information available now, at least this has someone standing behind it that is a state-sponsored organization.” (emphasis mine)

I read the quote from the principal and my reaction is, “Orly?” (that’s teenspeak for “Oh, really?” said in a sardonic and sometimes sarcastic tone.) So what is the state doing that Principal Skidmore feels so secure in?

“The commonwealth is using taxpayer money to tell kids how to get a secret abortion, and that’s wrong,” said Linda Thayer, a former Boston schoolteacher who is vice president for educational affairs of Massachusetts Citizens for Life, which this week took aim at the site. (emphasis mine)

Ah, so let’s look again at the ‘assumption’ that Principal Skinner is making with regards to some posters hanging in his school. Scripture warns us directly to trust in God, not in earthly power, yet, we do it all the time. Government is our friend, it’s here to protect us, we are America, we are the land of the free and the brave, the great democratic experiment. Surely, we can trust those we elect to make the best decisions for us. Can’t we?

If that were ever true (and I doubt it were), it is far from true today. Today, our bloated government is chockful of liberal bureaucrats who are intent on pushing an activist social agenda that you and I not only do not want, but realize is damaging to us, our children, our country and our future.

A state-funded sex education Web site that tells teens an abortion is “much easier than it sounds” has drawn fire from outraged pro-lifers who say mariatalks.com is glossing over ugly truths, steering teens toward the controversial procedure and counseling them how to keep mom and dad in the dark.

Aren’t you glad to know that public money is being spent to tell kids how to avoid the law, skirt their parents, trash their young lives, and do longtime psychological damage to themselves?

I think Mr. Charles Skidmore is naive at best, and disingenious at worst. He has passed the buck along and is not accepting responsibility on behalf of these kids, or just as likely, is complicit in the sexualization of our youth. Either way, it’s not a pretty picture in Massachusetts.

Ugh. I’d parse this article but I’m tired and discouraged. Enough to bring it to your attention today.

Please pray for an end to abortion, and the strength to love and teach our kids in God’s ways, not the ways of earthly princes.

Okay, sure the UK Daily Mail is one of those British tabloid types that have all the gossip about starlets and pictures of scantily-clad footballers’ wives. It must be some sort of British thing that I don’t really get. However, it might be my new favorite paper cause in addition to the article dissecting the “abortion is safer than pregnancy” guideline nonsense, it also published this little gem which flies in the face of the today’s moral relativistic, “if it feels right, it must be right” sensibility:

Having parents split up is worse for a child’s happiness than not having money, a major multi-million pound study has suggested.

In findings which may prove a comfort to every parent confronted with ‘pester power’ at the till, the Understanding Society project found that not living with both natural parents adversely affected a child’s ‘life satisfaction’ more than the household’s material situation.

In fact, neither poverty or wealth influences happiness, according to the research – although the more siblings they have, the unhappier they are.

So there you go. Wealth is not the key to having happy children. Having an intact family is. Thank you, Daily Mail!

“If you commodify body parts, including reproductive materials, who’s going to be selling them? It’s going to be the poor. And who’s going to be buying them? It’s going to be rich people,” Jonathan D. Moreno, a University of Pennsylvania bioethicist, told The Washington Post.

“You’re gradually going down a slippery slope that not only undermines respect for certain body parts but eventually whole bodies of, say, people who are very old or very sick or very poor,” he said.

Do you feel that warm gunky sludge on your backside? you know, from tumbling down the slippery slope?

I keep findingthese kinds of stories, the kinds of stories that the Church warned about years ago, but were dismissed as rubbish and “something that will *never* happen.” Well…it’s happened. An American fertility clinic is offering free eggs to a lucky winner in Great Britain. If you read the article, you learn that actually this has been going on for some time and that now Quebec will be offering free eggs at an annual taxpayer cost of $80 million. Our poor Catholic brothers and sisters in Canada, being forced to pay for the commodification of human life.

Each hopeful would-be parent is not owed a child by nature. As the Church teaches:

2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The “supreme gift of marriage” is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged “right to a child” would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right “to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents,” and “the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church)

(If you do not know it, the Church condemns as a moral evil, IVF procedures. See DONUM VITAE. (For an explanation of the teachings, I recommend this article.)

Long-time readers will remember that I love the litany form. So to honor one of my favorite saints (I named my first-born after him!), here is a beautiful litany prayer.

LITANY OF ST. JOSEPH(For public or private use.)
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Ghost,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.
Illustrious son of David, etc.
Light of patriarchs,
Spouse of the Mother of God,
Chaste guardian of the Virgin,
Foster father of the Son of God,
Watchful defender of Christ,
Head of the Holy Family,
Joseph most just,
Joseph most chaste,
Joseph most prudent,
Joseph most valiant,
Joseph most obedient,
Joseph most faithful,
Mirror of patience,
Lover of poverty,
Model of workmen,
Glory of home life,
Guardian of virgins,
Pillar of families,
Solace of the afflicted,
Hope of the sick,
Patron of the dying,
Terror of demons,
Protector of Holy Church,
Lamb of God,Who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord!
Lamb of God,Who takes away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord!
Lamb of God,Who takes away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us!
V. He made him the lord of His household,
R. And prince over all His possessions.

Let Us PrayO God, Who in Thine ineffable Providence didst
vouchsafe to choose Blessed Joseph to be the spouse
of Thy most holy Mother, grant, we beseech Thee,
that he whom we venerate as our protector on earth
may be our intercessor in Heaven. Who lives and
reigns forever and ever. Amen.

I have written about this song before, but now that the Sanctus Real album has dropped, I’m blown away by it all over again, and I am compelled to post it again.

Men? Do you want to know what your wife needs? Listen to this song.

Women? Do you know what is missing from your marriage? How to ask for what you need? Listen to this song.

You cannot have a solid marriage if God isn’t right in the middle of it with you. Make prayer time together a new and fantastic habit. Pray for each other throughout the day. Bless your spouse. Give thanksgiving daily for your marriage and family. Ask God to lead you. The most important people in your life may be secretly dying for lack of your leadership. Ask for help. God will strengthen you.

Death and tragedy. So common and yet, we are seemingly unprepared to handle it, or help others handle it. How are we dealing with grief these days? This news article from the Globe and Mail(reproduced below) raises questions about the predominance of ‘grief counseling’ in our modern world. I think it is thought-provoking, or at least it was for me. It brought to mind a couple experiences I’ve had, and I wanted to share the article with you.

Do you remember the Love is Kind article from Catholic Exchange that I made a page last fall? Well, I was reminded of the story that author Christi Derr related about the shoe-shining minister’s wife in the article. The story goes–when there was a death in a church family, the minister’s wife visited the house to shine the shoes for the grieving family to help them prepare for the funeral. Her reasoning was that it probably needed to be done, but her ulterior motive was that it gave her an excuse to be on hand as a presence for the spouse and family in their grief. (Read Love is Kind is you haven’t–click the tab at the top of the blog!)

The Globe and Mail article on grief counseling also puts me in mind of one of the best movies I have seen in recent years, Lars and the Real Girl (a quirky independent movie that may not be everyone’s cup of tea but is the only movie I know in which the phrase “what would Jesus do?” is asked sincerely). In a quiet scene showing the main character Lars dealing with tragedy, several older church women come over and sit with him. They bring casseroles, place themselves around on the chairs, and calmly knit while quietly waiting with him. He wants to do something for them but they assure him–this is what people do when tragedy strikes: they come over, and sit. It’s a comforting thought, and a very touching scene, and like the whole movie makes important points about the meaning of community, Christian love, acceptance and kindness.

In a wider sense, I believe modern Western people and especially Americans are losing our Christian values. We are opting to be “nice” instead of choosing to be “kind.” What is the difference? As individuals, we no longer reach out to people who need, are hurting, are poor or homeless. Instead, we look to the government and say, you should be doing something about that! We assume that the Red Cross, or FEMA, or Catholic Charities or the mental health community will “do something” for our hurting neighbors. We are diffusing our responsibilities to each other by handing them off to the greater body. Let’s reconnect with the our individual responsibility to alleviate sickness, poverty, and grief in the lives of the people around us; Christ calls us as his followers to do just that.

I am repeating myself but remember: Jesus didn’t teach us to “go vote for the politicians who will go vote for projects to do good on your behalf with your tax dollars.” Jesus didn’t say, “Come to me, all you who labor and are weary and I will send you Social Security and Fair Labor laws. He didn’t say, when I was sick, you asked casually if I was seeing a mental health professional. When I was hungry, you donated to a food bank from time to time. When I was thirsty, you thought it was a real shame that the United Nations hadn’t gotten clean wells built in my part of the world.

There are people in each of our lives that is hurting. Family, friends and neighbors. What a shame it is that we do not see it. What a sin that we do not respond personally. Most likely our parents or grandparents did, at least in times of grief and tragedy, with casseroles and their comforting company. If we can’t quite live up to WWJD?…why not try asking, What Would Grandma Have Done?

January 15, 2010

Grief industry to the rescue

By Margaret Wente
From Saturday’s Globe and Mail

Not long ago, we had other ways to cope with loss: community and casseroles

Help is finally trickling into Haiti, the scene of such unfathomable suffering that the TV news reports are almost unbearable to watch. The people need everything – water, food, medicine, shelter, doctors, rescue specialists and, of course, psychologists. Many of the medical teams sent to Haiti include psychologists. Perhaps they plan to hold group counselling sessions so mothers who have lost five children will be facilitated to freely express their emotions in a safe and nurturing environment.

Psychologists everywhere are offering their insights into what Haitians are likely going through. “In every moment, the level of emotional anguish ratchets up,” says Russell Friedman, who ought to know. He is the director of the Grief Recovery Institute, a counselling organization in California that helps people deal with death and natural disasters. It offers “the highest level of training in the area of helping grievers complete the pain caused by significant emotional losses” – whatever that means.

The idea that crisis counsellors have anything to offer Haiti strikes me as the most astounding hubris. Yet, the underlying assumption of their trade – that anyone who goes through trauma needs a therapist – has become conventional wisdom. There’s even help for us. Are you traumatized by the news from Haiti? The American Psychological Association offers this advice: Maintain your daily routines. Get plenty of exercise and rest. And turn off the TV. If symptoms persist, consult a licensed health professional.

The grief industry is bigger than ever, even though it’s taken lots of knocks lately. A new study by researchers from Dalhousie University concludes that psychological debriefing after a traumatic event does little good and, in fact, can do harm. “When people are put into a situation and then asked to relive, remember and sometimes even re-enact their feelings and thoughts, it actually makes things worse for them,” says Stan Kutcher, co-author of the study.

Yet, the ethos of therapism is so embedded in our culture that psychological counselling is routinely recommended for disaster survivors, for students who have lost a classmate, even for people whose dogs have died. Psychologist Sally Satel says that, days after the tsunami struck Sri Lanka in 2004, U.S. mental health workers were dispatched to the scene. “Psychological scarring needs to be dealt with as quickly as possible,” one psychologist told The Washington Post. “The longer we wait, the more danger.” Sri Lankan health officials disagreed. “We believe the most important thing is to strengthen local coping mechanisms rather than imposing counselling,” said one.

The foundation of the grief industry is something called Critical Incident Stress Management, a technique that was developed in the early 1970s for paramedics, firefighters and other professionals who regularly witnessed traumatic events. It was thought that, if they talked out their feelings and reactions immediately after the event, they’d be less likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder later on.

This thoroughly unscientific idea soon spread to ordinary people, including people who had only heard of (not witnessed) traumatic events. Soon the grief professionals began descending on schools any time a child died in some awful way. In the workplace, onsite debriefing services became a standard feature of employee assistance programs. Today, tens of thousands of people are trained in Critical Incident Stress Management and related techniques. Because of the spread of “war, terrorism, school shootings, and natural disasters,” says the CISM Foundation, “the need for trained crisis responders has never been greater.”

Obviously, some people are unhinged by trauma and loss, to the point where they permanently lose the ability to cope. But most of us are actually quite resilient. The grief industry is built on the premise that human beings are much frailer than they really are. On top of that, it assumes that trained professionals are much better than untrained ones – friends, neighbours, colleagues, family – at helping people cope with terrible events, including those that will eventually affect us all.

Here’s part of the career profile for a bereavement counsellor, a profession that now has its own academic degrees, associations, conferences and licensing bodies: “Often when people die, the feelings of grief, anger and dismay of those they have left behind become overwhelming. Individuals or whole families can fall apart as a result of a death, and it requires an outside party to come along and see them through this difficult time.”

Not long ago, we had other ways to cope with tragedy and loss. We had community and casseroles. We had friends to sit with through the night. They weren’t experts and they didn’t have degrees. They didn’t pester us to talk about how much it hurt, or how bad we felt. But they kept us company, and they allowed us to share what we wanted with people we knew and trusted.

“Tincture of time,” my grandma would counsel when someone had suffered a terrible loss. But what did she know anyway?

As British writer Frank Furedi has observed, the relentlessly expanding role of expertise into the private sphere conveys the message that individuals are unable to manage important aspects of their lives without professional guidance. This holds true not only for grief and trauma, but for parenting (especially parenting!) and relationships in general. “Today every aspect of life from birth [actually, from well before birth] through to school and career to marriage and mourning is subject to professional counselling,” he writes. “We live in an age of personal trainers, mentors and facilitators.” Some of what they tell us is nonsense, and some is painfully self-evident (see American Psychological Association). But we’re supposed to trust it all because it’s scientifically based.

A wonderful New Yorker cartoon from 10 years ago shows two cowboys gazing across a canyon, looking at some tiny dots in the distant sky. “Could be buzzards, could be grief counsellors,” says one. “Can’t tell from here.”

As we rush to help the Haitian people, perhaps we ought to keep in mind our limits. We can treat the trauma to their bodies. The trauma to their lives is another matter. Their pain and loss are unimaginable. Yet, despite their devastating losses, they may be more resilient than we think.

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Opera Christi non deficiunt, sed proficiunt

"The work of Christ never recedes, but progresses"

The Little Way:

"Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love." -- St. Terese of Lisieux

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Holy Family with Ss. Michael, Francis and John the Baptist (unseen)

Prayer to St. Michael Archangel

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

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Sharing in the Commission

[L]ay Christians...have the right and duty, individually or grouped in associations, to work so that the divine message of salvation may be known and accepted by all men throughout the earth. -- Catechism of the Catholic Church

Scattering flowers

“Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.”–St. Jerome (quoted in the Catechism)

This is the book of the commandments of God, and the law that is for ever. All that keep it shall come to life: but they that have forsaken it, to death. --Baruch 4:1

Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." --John 6:68

God has entrusted to us the news of reconciliation. So we are ambassadors for Christ; it is as though God were appealing through us, and the appeal that we make in Christ’s name is: be reconciled to God. 2 Corinthians 5:19-20

So then, my beloved, obedient as you have always been, not only when I am present but all the more now when I am absent, work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work. Do everything without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine like lights in the world, as you hold on to the word of life. --Philippians 2:12-16

'Be still and know that I am God!" --Psalms 46:11

Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of flesh and spirit, making holiness perfect in the fear of God…I do not say this in condemnation, for I have already said that you are in our hearts, that we may die together and live together. I have great confidence in you, I have great pride in you; I am filled with encouragement, I am overflowing with joy all the more because of all our affliction.--2 Corinthians 7: 1, 3-4

The LORD himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still. --Exodus 14:14

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you
who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of
gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be
tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill
the law of Christ. -- Galatians 6:1-2

You have also forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons: "My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord or lose heart when reproved by him; for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges."
Endure your trials as "discipline"; God treats you as sons. For what "son" is there whom his father does not discipline? -- Hebrews 12:5-7

Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence; and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame -- 1 Peter 3:15-16

Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you! -- Mark 10:49

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil. - Matt 6:33-34

One thing I ask of the LORD; this I seek: To dwell in the LORD'S house all the days of my life, To gaze on the LORD'S beauty, to visit his temple.--Psalms 27:4