Thursday, May 28, 2015

One of the biggest questions I had about using the site this time was whether or not it was normal to be seeing the same profiles over and over. It seemed to me that if I was going through my Quickmatch matches and "passed" on someone, they shouldn't keep coming up. What, if you keep presenting someone to me, I'm suddenly going to want to uproot my life and move to Michigan? Apparently, 5 times is the magic number for passing on someone for them to stop popping up in Quickmatch, though I haven't tried it in a few days, so Mr. Michigan could still be lurking out there.

It is no secret Ok Cupid likes to perform behind the scenes social experiments on their members and a few years ago, it came out that members are ranked on level of attractiveness and are only shown the profiles of those within or below their "class." Members are not given access to the profiles of those deemed to be above them in the hottie department. By this I am referring to Ok Cupid's many match options in which they send you matches, however, if you do a search on specific criteria they fit into, you will see them. Or at least some of them. Being an A-list member, I decided one day to search out the hotties (who quite frankly I didn't find all that attractive. Yes, most of them were nice to look at, but hardly any looked personable).

You can search for the most attractive, the above average and the average. I was surprised by how many men are allegedly using Ok Cupid in this area! I also did a search using just the criteria of age and "online within the last week." And this is where the men whose profiles were being presented to me appeared. Meaning that my Quickmatches, "You Might Like" and weekly new and top matches were primarily those who are deemed to be below average in looks. Doing some quick math, I determined this to be a pool of 311 men, which goes a long way in explaining why I kept seeing the same profiles over and over. One can also infer from this I have also been deemed to be below average in looks, which means my profile is not being circulated to a wide audience, which is definitely reflected in my lack of profile views and messages.

The biggest thing I found with these men, however, was not a disconnect in the looks department. I believe attractiveness is much more than the face looking back at you. The disconnect has been in terms of lifestyle. I may be below average in looks, but I live an above average lifestyle and most of my matches clearly would not be able to keep up with it.

My account is still active but I've gotten out of the habit of checking it on a daily basis. Usually if I check it, it is to cite an example when commenting in a message forum I belong to. I'll likely disable the account when my A-List membership expires in the middle of June. Overall, this experience has just shown me once again that if I am meant to have a second chance at love, this is not how I'm going to find it. Now I just need to remember this going forward and stop putting myself through this aggravation!

About Me

I started blogging not long after my world was completely shattered when my fiance unexpectedly passed away. Seven years later, I feel I've put most of the pieces back together and am not working on pursuing those things which make me truly happy.