Thursday, January 8, 2015

Special to
TPN — In a discovery that will disturb Muslims everywhere, scholars have
determined that Islam’s holy book, the Koran (Qur’an), was created by a Mel
Brooks’ ancestor, Melali Broukhani. Muslim tradition says that God revealed the
book’s verses to a Muhammad in the seventh century. Broukhani’s pen name was
Muhammad Shmukheini, later shortened to Muhammad after he gained fame with his
dancing camels act, which performed in tents throughout the Arabian peninsula.

Mel Brooks as Moses in History of the World

The critical
piece of evidence that led scholars to this finding was a scroll detailing
Muhammad’s trip to Mecca. His assistant, Gabriel, thought it might be a good
idea to get a Jew to write down rules of conduct for the unruly crowds of Arabs
who attended his performances—thus, the Koran. (At the time, Jews were the only
ones who knew how to make pencils.) The Jew then ran off with one of Muhammad’s
daughters and named their first-born son, Meli Brookman.

Not to be
outdone by his grandfather, Brookman became a rabbi and amateur archaeologist,
whose diggings on Mount Sinai in the year 679 unearthed the stone tablets
listing the Ten Commandments. In tribute to his ancestors, Mel Brooks wrote,
produced, and directed the acclaimed 1981 film, History of the World, in which he plays the part of Moses, who
received the tablets from God and then exclaimed, “Oy! Ten! Ten commandments
for all to obey!”