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Chester! Chester! Near North Wales, off the M56

Chester! Chester! Near North Wales! Off the M56!

Alan is in the room Jed has dedicated to him. Jed reveals a large tattoo of Alan’s face on his chest:

Jed: I’ll show you something.Alan: Glory be!Jed: It took 14 hours! I fainted three times.Alan: Jed, I’ll level with you. I’m really scared. Erm.. . In fact, I think I’ll go.Jed: No! Stay, don’t go!Alan: All right. I’ll stay! I’ll stay. What do you want to do?Jed: Let’s do an interview.Alan: I think that’s a great idea.Jed: Do you really?Alan: I think it’s the best idea, in the world.Jed: Oh, great! Right, well you can be David Copperfield. And I’ll be Alan Partridge [Puts an Alan Partridge mask on]. A-ha!Alan [Making a run for it]: Oh god.Jed: No! Come back! [Jed grabs Alan and they scuffle]Alan: Not my face, I’m doing a photo-shoot for Vision Express! I’ll give you a Chinese burn!Jed [With Alan in a headlock]: Ah! You bastard!Alan: I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.Jed: Look, Alan. I just want to be your friend, that’s all.Alan: I’ll BE your friend.Jed: Oh, great. Will you come and see my brother-in-law next weekend?Alan: I’d love to.Jed: I bet you can’t guess where he lives. Go on, have a guess.Alan: Nottingham.Jed: No.Alan: Chester.Jed: Where?Alan: Chester. Near North Wales, off the M56.Jed: No, Leeds!Alan: Oh, Leeds!Jed: Can you smell gas?Alan: I think that’s my breath. I ate a scotch egg. I thought it would have broken down by now, but I think I’m slightly constipated. It’s surprising, really, considering the circumstances.Jed: I’m sorry, Alan. I didn’t know. Are you all right?Alan: Yeah.Jed: So we’re friends then?Alan: Best friends.Jed: In the whole world?Alan: Pretty much, yeah.