The Crapbox...Comic books found in the quarter bin or half-off store or the bargain box. The good, the bad and the really ugly. Get ready for a surprise. Updates EVERY Friday and Monday until the Crapbox runs dry. (never happen)

The
first time was for the original Crapbox, a series of reviews all of which have
been reprinted here on the forum boards of Rotten Tomatoes website. The
sub-forum the original Crapbox was on got deleted in the late 2000's along with
all its content. Lucky for me, I created the articles in Word files that were
saved to my local hard drive. However, after the destruction of almost two years
of work, I decided not to repost the Crapbox in another forum for fear it would
vanish once again.

To
my knowledge, the Razorguts #2 review was the only thing in the blog that
didn't make it out alive. I must have written it online and not made a backup
copy of the text.

That
means I have to take another stab at this one, and brother! out of all the
comics to have to wrap your head around a second time, Razorguts has to be the
most bizarre head-trip that I've ever had the discomfort to review.

Written
by "Barreio" who is most likely Argentian writer Ricardo Barreio and
drawn by Columbian artist Francisco Solano López, Razorguts is a mature
adventure tale of resistance against an evil overlord. Let's begin with the
basic story premise and you'll see how wild this one gets.

Our
setting is The Ministry, the future sanctuary of all mankind, a towering
skyscraper that reaches up into the upper atmosphere. I don't have issue number
one, so I really have no clue on the how or why it came about, but for some
reason our descendants build this monumental structure that stretches up into
the sky. And once complete, they sealed themselves in. At some point, a brutal
dictator and his scientist allies take over.

Now
that you know where the story takes place, I'm going throw you in with Carl the
Kid, one of the worker drones in The Ministry. Not having issue one I can only surmise
about how exactly this came to pass, but Carl's girlfriend Susana was taken as
a sex slave by the trollish evil dictator of The Ministry.

Carl
has taken up with these guys called the MOFATA, who are plotting against the
dictator. And the method of us find all this out is something that pops up from
time to time in the book: the handy-dandy exposition box.

See
that third panel breaks the forth wall and directly addresses the audience to
explain a specific story element. It isn't distracting as that might seem. Most
of Barreiro's placement of these is handy providing info we the audience needs
to correctly understand the action going on. Occasionally they provide story
that enhances one or more of the characters.

But
let's leave Carl the Kid as he ventures down the giant structure's elevator
shaft in search of weapons of some type to use against the vile overlord…and
turn now to poor Susana at the top of the giant edifice

She
is being groomed for sexy time by two not-at-all-clad lobotomized sex slaves.
And I have to say this is done in a very creepy and effective way that both titillates
and horrifies. Lopez does a great job of conveying the twisted beauty of this
story and I am glad that his hand is the one charting the images used. He is a
skilled artist who can handle character models as well as backgrounds and
settings with the same degree of intricate inkwork.

Like
this sequence of panels here of Carl being menaced by something coming down the
shaft. That first panel is amazing and we have barely scratched the surface of
what Lopez can do.

We
move for there to confrontation between Susana and her captor. It begins with
some not-so-subtle foreplay. Or make that threats of abuse against her if she
doesn't capitulate.

Ugh,
he's such a repulsive troll. I hate that guy. He keeps after her until she
gives him a little cat scratch fever across the face.

Make
that a LOT of cat scratch fever. Like epidemic proportions. He vows to disembowel
her with his bare hands and instructs the other sex slaves to hold her down
while he does it. As they move too comply, Susana makes a fatal decision.

And
as she plunges to her doom, the building tries to save her, even though she's
already dead from cardiac arrest. All it does is end up adding insult to
injury, and a plot point that will be picked up later on.

And
it was right about here, where the book killed the love interest of the
protagonist that I really felt we were in for a totally different kind of ride.
The art, sex, and violence of the story reminded me of the "good"
kind of Metal Hurant/Heavy Metal tales. The harsh nihilistic bent of this comic
fits right in with those magazines, and I kind of dig it.

Shifting
back to Carl the Kid, who has problems of his own. Getting down the shaft ends
in hatch he can't get open. Barriero and Lopez take a break from this to show us
what is approaching him in a half-page aside, and again I found this break in
the narrative to work in context of the story. It is world building and
background dumped on the audience. I should hate it, but it makes the story
more understandable, so I don't.

Carl
escapes the beast in a series of panels that emphasis action and suspense.
Lopez knows how to work a layout. Even without reading the words, the intent of
each panel is evident.

After
Carl's escape from the beast, you'd think the guy would catch a break.
Unfortunately you are wrong. Because around the corner is a squad of
genetically engineered Nazi-like SS Stormtroopers and really, don't ask me how
they got here (although through panels later Barriero will explain exactly
that). Oh and he encounters them right before finding his path leads to a
doorway with a rather ominous sign.

Which
means he has to press on through the very dangerous electric snake room…

…with
the guards in hot pursuit. The frying pseudo-Nazis are almost worth the price
of admission. Look at these panels.

I
was going to say "Of course Carl survives" but then I remembered this
book recently slew his love interest in one of the most "she sure is
dead" kind of ways. So maybe his chances aren't that great. Except he and
two guards make it through unscathed.

The
first of those guards falls victim to Carl's inventive use of razorblades on
the elevator cable.

He
falls to his death while Barreiro does this forth wall breaking
aside where he apologizes to the audience first and then goes into an almost
page long description of how the guards are "made". I am still
digging this background stuff as it makes the story deeper and more
understandable (even as it also makes it more outlandish).

The
final guard chases Carl in a series of panels that are astoundingly good, but I
am resisting posting because at this point EVERYTHING art-wise in the book is
astoundingly good. But here goes a few of them.

Love
the black face on the guard in that last panel, with the implication that he
isn't the true evil, just another faceless drone in the cogs of a much worse
machine. Carl tricks him with a spear and then we have a reveal I didn't expect:
Susana makes an appearance!

Love
the anguish and true emotion in those final panels. And then this series of
panels where he gives her the only kind of burial honor he can. And while the
exposition at the end isn't necessary, it still works in context.

Carl
is next chased by like a million rats. He barricades himself into a room with…well,
see for yourself.

That's
right: preserved accountants. They died at their desk and are still in the same
upright position as if they were working. This book is just freaky.

Then
we break with the story in progress to tell the tale of how the scientists
genetically engineered two "super-ferrets" to take care of the
growing rat problem.

Then
to explain how the female, who was pregnant, took up residence in the wrong
file room drawer…

…and
gets on the wrong side of the leader, who kills the female but the male escapes.
And in escaping becomes…

…the
leader of the rats in a rebellion against the evil dictator…

…which
precipitates the creation and release of the giant spider penises yet ends with
the animals all dying of radiation poisoning and WHY is this part of the story
if it affects it in zero ways? I don't know, but I enjoyed the crap out every
last panel.

The
book ends with Carl continuing his journey, using a rope to scale the outside
of the building.

I
enjoyed this WAY more than I expected. The art was fabulous and the story so
strange that it intrigued me.

So
what are we working with here? An insane premise. A wonderful artist. A distinctive
writer. A plot that defies expectations. And believable characters worth
investing in. I have to mention that the book only lasted four issues, which
probably was enough time to complete the story of Carl and his attempt to
subvert the system.

If
any of that appeals to your sense of the weird or you like Heavy Metal type
fiction, definitely check these out.

Monday, December 26, 2016

The
back half of Harley Quinn's first Holiday Special is two tales with very
different art stylings. One of them is from possibly one of the best art deco
pencilers ever to walk the Earth and the second is … well, not to my taste.
I'll let your own eyes make up your minds on these two. We start with at tale
called…

"Get Yer Cheer
Outta My Ear"

Writer – Amanda Conner
& Jimmy Palmiotti

Artist – Brandt Peters

Breakdowns – Amanda
Conner

Letters – John J. Hill

Colors – Paul Mounts

Editor – Chris Conroy

Group Editor – Mark
Doyle

I
have never heard of Brandt Peters before, and If I am honest, I really wish
that was still the case. Maybe I'm being too harsh? Perhaps. Perhaps my beef is
really with Paul Mounts color pallet that turns this entire story into one
garish nightmare that bleeds color in a neon hue radiance blinding to behold.

Don't
believe me?

Let's
start with an intro to the pest that will be messing with Harley. An earworm in
the physical as well as figurative sense.

Woops!
I've wandered into some child's bedtime storybook. And not one that I approved
of. As stories go, this will be a simple one. Harley trips carrying packages.
(and oh my LORD, that has to be some bug-eyed alien creature and not a person.)

Which
leads to this little critter taking up residence in her head. Let's be fair, it
was probably pretty much vacant anyway.

Leading
her to act crazier than normal…and it's Harley, so that gives us a huge
latitude.

I
enjoy the story being crafted here but there are many art panels that give me a
kind of cringe. The storybook stylings are so at odds with both the other
stories and there are occasional moments that look wrong no matter what. It has
that Teen Titans Go flavor that just doesn't sit well with me.

She
bumps into a cop….

…and
that doesn't end well. The gunshot seems a bit over the top as it would likely
take that cop's crotch off.

We end up with Harley visiting Santa…

…who knows exactly what to do.

Which is good
because I was already tired of this mess a page or two ago. There's a bit at
the end about a Jewish deli, but I'm over it already. Just not up my alley.

"Killin' Time"

Writer – Amanda Conner
& Jimmy Palmiotti

Artist – Darwyn Cooke

Letters – John J. Hill

Colors – Dave Stewart

Editor – Chris Conroy

Group Editor – Mark
Doyle

Ah, yes! The incomparable Darwyn Cooke. His retro
stylings and character models are so hard to beat. Even in this back-of-the-book fluff piece, his genius shines through. When we lost him mid-year (2016
was THE year of killing our dreams) at the age of 53 I was in shock. His DC:
The New Frontier, Catwoman and The Spirit revamp series were amazing. His talent
will be missed, so any little bit we can find of his work is like discovering
buried treasure.

We begin this spot with Harley finding a gray hair.
This appears to cause her great distress.

Tony makes things worse by giving her an anthropomorphized
being to blame for the gentle aging one goes through.

And of course Harley takes him literally meaning
someone named Mr. Tyme is about to have a very bad day. Don't you just
absolutely love that first panel? I do. I love it. Lovelovelovelove Love it!
There is something almost Chuck Jonesian about it. And yes, that is a word. I
just made it up, but it is a word.

And speaking of words, Harley races off to the
hospital to "waste time" with all the implications that has for the
poor octogenarian.

She arrives, sic's her pack of animals on everyone
(I didn't know Harley was an animal lover, but apparently so) and then makes
her way up to Father Time's room.

Center bottom picture of Harley's face is just
perfect in many ways. It captures her spirit with a minimum of fuss and line
work. Why did he have to be taken from us? Man I miss his sense of style.

Thankfully, Harley doesn't just off the innocent
geezer, but instead attempts to find his timepiece so she can turn back time.

Mr. Tyme is saved by the timely arrival of his
grandson and Lilly, who happens to be his great grandchild. I love the look of
shock here as Harley pops up out from under the bedsheets.

The awareness that Lilly is part of Tyme's family gets
Harley the exact wrong idea about her being the Baby New Year.

Before too much can go on though, Lilly solves all
our problems…

…and just like that, all the conflicts are
resolved.

Well, except for the mystery of where Harley's pets
are.

And that turns out to be the sweetest ending of
them all.

Great short with WONDERFUL art. I stated in part
one that I didn't know what DC was doing with Harley. Being completely honest,
I still don't. It appears to be just a comedy book that lacks any real import
to either the universe or the character. Maybe that's just the New 52 version.
Maybe it is All versions. Hard to say at this point.

However if they have any more Darwyn Cooke stories
slated to appear in the book, count me in!

Happy New Year, everyone.
The Crapbox may return on Friday for one last hurrah if all goes well this
week. Until then be merry!