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The voice of your sub-conscious

Luna wrote a post on submissive guide the other day about how to talk to your Dom, which raises some very good points.

This girl used to have a lot of problems talking to Grimly and it is why she started writing this blog. She isn’t sure of the full reasons why she found it difficult to talk to him at the beginning – partly shyness probably, partly failure to articulate things after such intensity, and partly because she was subconsciously afraid of what he might do with any information that she might reveal.

This girl had been burnt before and had totally gotten the wrong idea with her ex of what submission might be about. Sometimes this girl still feels guilty in that maybe there are times she gave her ex more than she has given Grimly – but out of fear, certainly not out of submission , and not out of love. Her ex got her to pierce her nipples, buy him a car and generally get herself in a load of bother in the process of keeping him happy. She did it because she was worried about him being angry or being disappointed. Submission or love didn’t really feature , but of course – importantly, she didn’t realize it at the time! Hindsight is a total bugger!

So, perhaps, her self-preservation button was stuck firmly on the red alert setting. Of course it did not need to be. The thing is though, people can do physical things to hurt you, and take things away and leave you with nothing, but they can’t take your thoughts unless you want them. So perhaps that is why she was much more guarded, whether she realised she was being that way or not.

Writing has helped this girl very much. It is much easier to let the fingertips flow and talk into the void than it is to a person sometimes, even your most beloved. Though of course, she is much better at talking to Grimly now than she was in the beginning.

Over time she realized he was not the same person as her ex was. Well in fact she realized that quite quickly as she fell for him within about six months! If not less. Actually though once she got to know him properly she found him easy to talk to. Gradually more and more so as being with him became like having a really comfy pair of socks – although socks that can nibble at your toes whilst you’re wearing them. Perhaps that is a bad comparison but you get the idea.

To this girl it is important to have a relationship with someone who you can talk with. Being able to talk to Grimly about anything, even like in random totally convoluted and insane yorkshire babble is important to her. Her ex wouldn’t listen to that. He used to say she was weird. Really!

Perhaps she finds it easy to talk to Grimly because she feels as though he actually wants to hear her, he wants to listen. She doesn’t feel as though he’s talking to her ‘just to make conversation’ or because he feels he has to. She feels he actually listens to everything, and remembers anything important. Perhaps sometimes that’s bad. Well this girl is female, and from yorkshire and therefore has a tendency to whittle on and perhaps say something that might have been better to have kept private or secret. Her family used to say she didn’t talk for years (perhaps till she was 3 or older) but once she did she never shut up, and perhaps that’s the same in many aspects of life, she’s very quiet until she finds someone who wants to listen – and then they’ll be sorry! lol

There are times of course when perhaps she still holds things back, or has some idea and wonders if she tells him it’ll put the idea in his head and make it bigger and more insane, but generally she ends up doing that anyway! No prizes for guessing why. Is that topping from the bottom? This girl doesn’t think so, surely there is nothing wrong with encouraging her dom’s imagination. She doesn’t worry anyhow if it’s topping from the bottom, she has more important things to worry about like what his devious mind is up to.

For this girl talking to Grimly is important and pretty much the first thing she does every day and the last, despite not living him. She actually gets really angry when the phone rings and it’s not him but a blasted cold call! lol

There is actually now only one way he can shut her up….. and where he can find how to do that he’ll find his Valentines card! 😉

10 thoughts on “The voice of your sub-conscious”

Do you classify your fans/followers as “someone who wants to listen”?
Well aside from that point your ex seems like a total jerk manipulating you the way he did, I’m starting to wonder when you would talk to him, would he really listen cuz I know in your blog I’ve learned some interesting things sometimes down to the slightest detail of a good movie to watch! 🙂 lol and I believe in bdsm you must have some sort of a relationship bond as in love between you and even just the simple stuff like humor to incorporate into your lives!:) which by your blog I see quiet a bit of! 🙂 well I’m starting to go on and on so I’ll shut up now lol 🙂 for one last note though Grimely and you make a good team and he’s 101times better than your ex was to you and he seems like he would be easy to talk to!
*sorry for the length

no i dont think my ex ever did really listen to me, certainly if i mentioned anything BDSM he thought i was ‘chasing him’ and he said that it was a turn off he wanted to be able to do stuff to me cos he could not because i wanted it and he said knowing i wanted it turned him off . Oh he listened though when i said Grimly has a bigger cock LOL

thanks for all your lovely comments – on movies – i watched the recent terminator film last night, great bondage-ish/transformation scene of sam worthington (avatar) at the start and near the end *drool* lol – though way too short!

your ex sounds like a big tosser, he needs to be given a good slapping. Any relationship is with trust and respect. Glad you found Grimly so you now know that all men are not twats. Is it hard to understand Grimly (Scot) you (Yorky). Enjoy each other, Keep up the great work on your blog.

I love the card location. some people have sock drawers….
Last comment on the Hex (horrible ex) They say revenge is a dish best served cold. If your ex has read any of this, or someone knew you both, they would see that each time he is humbled and Grimly is venerated, then you have a tad more control over a person who hurt you not always in a good way.

And KC on Valentine’s day I thought it was MRS. KC you wanted to see stewing in her juices!

And your ex just keeps sounding more jerkish by the min!!! I’m sorry 😛
Haha but I guess in a certain twisted way maybe he did get his well deserved karma for being a jerk! Having to hear Grimly has a bigger cock must have been hard for him to swallow (no joke intended xD sorry I can’t think of a different word choice)
Last but not least on this topic: thanks for the new movie suggestion!! >.< it's already on my list of "to watch soon" cuz I wanna see Sam Worthington in bondage *drools just thinking about it* watching hot actors in bondage sound good to me! 😉

KC, men in bondage are worth drooling over sometimes – however those occasions are few and far between!

Re, all the comments re my ex, guys thanks for your support its a long time ago, i guess there are times when i’m still a bit bitter over it but i am very much over it, but sometimes i like to remind myself that i am so lucky that i was ‘rescued’ by a villanous hero 😉

i think i’ve said it many times before on my blog, communication is everything. If you can’t talk honestly to each other, it really does seem very sad, especially as so many people break up because they haven’t expressed their feelings. You have an amazing relationship with Grimly – i think it’s great 🙂