Monday, 10 October 2016

MY MOTHER

Nguper please leave me..." And a few moments later, she breathed her last. The following days, weeks and months led to what I can describe as the darkest days of my life. Yet, my biggest testimony. The revelation of the depth of God's awesome love for me, his omnipresence and his purpose for my being.
I became aware of the strength within. Strength that was by no means my doing. Going by my own strength I was at point zero. I was at a point where I was hopeless. I mean how could I live life without my momma? I simply couldn't imagine that happening.
But alas! God came through and made his strength perfect in my weakness, just like he said he would. Every day, I found myself waking up and facing the day... up till this day.
I heard it all. Sometimes it was almost funny to see how people struggled to string words together to help us feel better. I am grateful for every one who reached out. Bless their dear hearts. But none of those did much to help the deep grief I was feeling I'm afraid. Only one thing worked; the words of my Father, the Almighty. I can never do good justice to the extent of peace and comfort that washed over my soul each time I heard or read God's word that period. I came alive. They brought me hope. Indeed they proved to be spirit and life..
Fastforward to life these days; The eyes of my understanding have greatly been opened. You see, I idolised my mum. And So did a lot of people around us. With her we just felt everything was perfect. She was such a rock. A solid pillar to say the least. I remember just up and leaving my job once, just because.... but hey, God is one jealous, big Daddy! He lets some things happen to remind us that it is He we should be looking up to. It is He we should be depending and leaning on like that. Not mummy, not any man. He has taught me that even without my mum, he is able to do it all... and by far exceed her human limitations!
Typically, I was so fond of dumping all my troubles on my mother and letting her sort them out for me. she always did. But well, I suddenly couldn't afford that luxury anymore could I? I had to grow up super fast. And it had to be spiritual, emotional and mental growth. Four years on now, I realise that indeed all things work together for the good of all those who love God and are called according to his purpose. I am a strong, dependable and focused woman to God's glory and what's more? I'm getting better because He's still working on me, in me and through me.
Are you grieving from the loss of someone special, disappointed for any reason, heartbroken, suicidal, at breaking point or at the verge of giving up? Look, hang in there. Believe me when I say there is still hope. Things will turn around soon enough. It may look like it's over, but it's not! God promises beauty for ashes and His word is so true! I am a living testimony.
In loving memory of my dear Mom, I'm putting up a part of this poem by Ann Taylor. To you it might be just another classic poem. But to me, it's far reaching and every word, every line, every verse, holds true for;

MY MOTHER

Who fed me from her gentle breast,
And hushed me in her arms to rest,
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?My Mother.

When sleep forsook my open eye,
Who was it sung sweet hushaby,
And rocked me that I should not cry?
My Mother.

When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gazed upon my heavy eye,
And wept for fear that I should die?
My Mother.

Who dressed my doll in clothes so gay,
And fondly taught me how to play,
And minded all I had to say?
My Mother.

Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Mother.

Who taught my infant lips to pray,
And love God's holy book and day,
And walk in wisdom's pleasant way?
My Mother.

And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who was so very kind to me,
My Mother.

I can only stop the poem here, the rest of it is too hard for me to read not to speak of type because it speaks of mom in her old age. forgive me please. I hope this post blesses someone. Thanks for reading.