Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Guide to Eating Popeye's Chicken Wings While Driving on the Interstate

I posted a comment on BC’s blog about my favorite road trip snack (Popeye’s Chicken Wings and a Grande Coffee Frappucino) and he didn’t think one could enjoy greasy chicken while driving on the Interstate. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to tell you it can be done and here’s how:

1) Must have wet wipes in your car, if you don’t get some prior to attempting to eat chicken while driving.2) Stop at Maryland House and order 3 spicy wings and a biscuit. Place items in a plastic bag with an obnoxious amount of napkins. 3) Order a Grande Coffee Frappucino at Starbucks; again take an obnoxious amount of napkins. (That flavor doesn’t come with whipped cream and don’t ask for any, after the chicken you don’t need the extra calories).4) Get into car and prepare to eat Chicken while driving and drinking a Grande Coffee Frappucino on I-95.5) Take several napkins and place them on your lap and your passenger seat. Break the chicken up so you can easily eat it one handed.6) Start the car and get back onto the interstate. While merging take a few sips of that Frappucino and getting yourself into the right gear.7) Once you’re going with the flow of traffic, start eating your chicken with one hand. (Don’t bother wiping your mouth; you look a hot mess anyway eating chicken while driving). 8) Once you are done and have confirmed that there is no more chicken left, wipe your mouth, hands, gear shift and steering wheel with the obnoxious amount of napkins and those wet wipes. 9) Enjoy the rest of your ride and don’t worry too much about those crumbs, just use those quarter vacuum slots at your next gas stop.