Monday, November 22, 2010

Hi Blog!

I have been doing a ton of reading.... You don't want to know what I've been reading.

Hey... You know what... Not only is that Roof I needed fixed at the beginning of the summer.... Also... My shower is fixed. It's super Fucked up... but it's Fixed.

In fact, I'm so thrilled about it.... I'm going to go use it.... BRB.

Did you wait long? It was nice.... not quite as great as I remember it.

I'm like knee deep in Abandonment issues, Co-Dependence, Victimization... The whole schebang. I keep asking myself all these ugly questions. I think there is a phase when things have become tough, when You aren't afraid of any of it anymore.

I've started all these in depth discussions about Enabling sexual abuse. BTW... i've promised my GF to not blog about "Us"... Which is fine. Of course this is one of those times where there isn't really an "Us". For those of you who don't pay very good attention. There is a pattern. We go through this Euphoic Period. Things are fine, and I keep trying to convince her that it can just go on. Things can just be good, and it can go on for weeks. The problem is, for some reason we have to go through a Cycle of victimization with her.

Somehow a boundry has to be tested,

then Either She has to be at Fault or I have to be at fault.

Break-up stage, where she pushes me away.

Then we can do "I'm sorry" stage.

Then the Honeymoon stage "oh... I love you"

Then we start again.

Now this has gone on since June. Probably 12 times. It was kind of funny the first 4 times. I was like "why are you doing this?"

She wants to have the cycle... The problem is... I keep going "nothing happened" you freaked out.