Paris Hilton Is A Genius

The New York Daily News says today that Paris Hilton kept up her peerless reputation as a nearly functioning retard even when in Africa last week with her boyfriend Benji Madden.

Gatecrasher says... The couple stayed at the ultra-luxurious Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town, along with the Kaiser Chiefs and Korn, who were also in town for the My Coke Fest music event. A hotel spy tells us: "Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, 'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"

I had drinks for a couple hours with Paris in LA one time and she was very nice to us, but for fücks sake could she be any dumber or more self-entitled? And does she really have to do the "runway walk" even while going to her car? I also spotted a bottle of Valtrex (herpes medication) in her purse but nobody believed me until the story came out months later.