Was it Worth the -Cest?

Ahhh, good ol’ Dartmouth, where our very obvious hookup
culture can invade nearly any aspect of our lives. Whether you’re in FoCo and a
past hookup (or three) is filling his or her drink next to you, being assigned
to a group project with a recent dfmo (dance floor make-out) or stepping out of
office hours and seeing that person who ghosted you after you failed to DTR
(define the relationship), it’s easy to be a bit uncomfortable and on-edge all
the times. But what about when a hookup falls into a “cest” category? We’ve all
heard about the classic example of “floor-cest” and how much of a disaster that
could be – why not delve into the potential results and see if your hookup was really
worth the “-cest?”

Dreamworks via giphy.com

Floor-Cest

What it is: Though
this type of -cest isn’t necessarily as bad if it’s any floor after freshman
year (because let’s be honest, after that year no one is going to floor
meetings, and no one is trying to bond through the awkwardness that is your
first year at college), it can still be a bit uncomfortable to see your hookup
leave his or her room when you’re walking from the shower in your towel wrap.

Why you did it:
Maybe you caught the loving glimpse of your floormates eyes glistening in your
direction. Though you know it’s going to be awkward after regardless, at least
you have the comfort of knowing your walk of shame will only be about eight
feet back across the hall to your room. Once it’s done, however, the whole floor
will most definitely know, and floor meetings will never again be the same.

Was it worth it: Probably
not – just wait a year, ’20s.

Would you do it
again: Probably not, but if you did, it would definitely be during the
winter to stay warm.

via imgur.com

Trip-Cest

What it is: You
really have no excuse to act naïve with this one – H-Croo makes sure to tell
you the singular “Golden Rule of Dartmouth” straight out the gate during the ~Safety
Talk~ before trips. And don’t even get me started on trip-leaders committing trip-cest
with their trippees. DON’T DO IT.

Why you did it: Being
in the woods for a few days with someone who is questionably attractive makes
them automatically more attractive on principle. You can’t keep them out of your
mind, and they’re the only reason you ever made it through Hiking 4. Whether it
was a romantic night in the woods or a spontaneous reunion at Highlighter dance
party when you’re back on campus, your night was filled with fond memories of
the Salty Dog Rag on Robo Lawn.

Was it worth it: Trip-cest
might seem like it’s worth it in the moment, but fast forward to how awkward your
trip reunion FoCo dinners are going to be and you might regret it.

Would you do it
again: Drunk you says yes, sober you says no. Bonus points if you managed
to pull it off during trips and back on campus, though.

via giphy.com

FSP-Cest

What it is: On
the surface, this -cest doesn’t seem quite as bad as the other ones. When
you’re abroad, any interaction that takes place outside of a frat basement can
be perceived as romantic. After all, your FSP ground is supposed to ~bond~,
right?

Why you did it: It’s
definitely a cool experience to be in another country – why not have some fun
with it and really take your experience to the next level?

Was it worth it: Though
things may become awkward if either party doesn’t know how to handle what
happened afterwards, there’s no need to fret, as things will be fine when your term
abroad ends. FSP-cest is definitely worthwhile if you’re longing for that
special someone to fill the void in your heart while away for 10 weeks. Tread
carefully, though – during certain FSPs like the “Stretch,” the closeness of
trip groups can cause major awkwardness during long car rides.

Would you do it
again: Probably. You never know when you might get back to campus and see
each other, getting caught up in a reminisce of your magical time in Europe.

TBS via imgur.com

Club-Cest

What it is:
Canoodling with that cutie in your performance group, sports team or
extracurricular club. I mean, you’re already spending so much time together –
you never know how they might feel about you!

Why you did it: Obviously,
you share some common interest – maybe you share one in each other.

Was it worth it: This
one can also get really awkward. Are you noticing the trend here? Imagine being
in an a cappella group and having to rehearse six hours a week, standing in an
arc with a one-night stand, who also happens to be your friend and fellow
singer. Aca-cest? No thank you. If that’s not a convincing argument, I don’t
know what is. Not worth it.

Would you do it
again: Maybe with another club member – and you’ll regret it all over
again.

CBS via giphy.com

Friend-Cest

What it is: Friends
with benefits – enough said.

Why you did it: You
thought this was an exception to the rule of “it’s gonna be awkward, don’t give
in” – and with good reason. You know not to do it with your best friend unless
you absolutely know you’re going to be dating immediately afterward. If not,
you would damage your friendship. On the other hand, it’s your friend that you
see around and aren’t “besties” with, you gotta go for it – things could end up
for the better! However, if things end up for the worst, your mutual friends
will know, every interaction will be awkward, and you can *kiss* chances of
being comfortable with him or her goodbye – literally!

Was it worth it: Analyze
the risk/reward (you’re probably studying econ, you can do this) and really see
how your friend would feel about it. You never know if they’re in the same
dilemma as you!

Would you do it
again: Maybe, if you’re desperate. Or if things work out.

Paramount Pictures via giphy.com

Hopefully you’ve noticed that most of these cases are not recommended. I mean, the taboo of “-cest” isn’t exactly the most positive suffix to tack onto another word. Any hookup can be awkward after the fact, but these have a much higher chance of making you walk around with your head down, avoiding your once-friend because duh… you can’t really avoid spending more time around the person you hooked up with if you see them on the reg. When it comes to any –cest, it’s all up to your own judgement – whether level-headed or slightly impaired.