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Dengue fever, also known as breakbone fever, is a PAIN in all the wrong places. Really. It’s a tropical disease and is transmitted by several species of mosquitoes. And of course, one of them bit me. So here I am, sitting in the hospital for the eleventh day now, bored out of my wits. Therefore, I decided to blog about it. Simply because I have nothing else to do! If you get dengue, you get high fever, body and headache, your platelet count falls and if it’s damn serious, you might need a blood transfusion. And whoever said that hospital food sucks, he was damn right! It sucks!! I honestly don’t have a better word to describe it’s… suckiness! I puked after 3 days of tolerating that shit. From the fourth day onwards, I made mom get me food from home. Yes, the doctor allowed it.

Now that THAT’S outa the way, let me start from the beginning.

It all started on….well… I’m not sure, actually. Obviously it started with a mosquito bite… I dunno when that happened. So anyway, we were all very excited about our college fest because of the opportunity we would get to participate and win stuff and get certificates and all. Also because other colleges would come to attend. Other colleges with guys in it. And believe me, for students of an all girls college, that’s a BIG freaking deal. Yeah. So, we were all psyched about the fest. I was supposed to volunteer for the eastern cultural dance programme. Which I did. And damn, it was tedious! They turned me into a coat hanger, a waitress, a GPRS and a bounty hunter of sorts! But I pretended to be okay with it cause I’d get a certificate for it later on. And I’d get to enjoy the other two days when all the cool events were to happen. Only, the stars weren’t aligned in my favor. I went home and went down with fever. High fever. Randomly. And since everybody is getting dengue nowadays, my dad forced me to get a blood test done. And tada! It came out positive for dengue! So I was admitted to the hospital. Initially I was sort of happy cuz I wouldn’t have to go to college. The happiness evaporated, however, when the nurse came in with a big ass injection. Saline. Joy.
After a couple of chantings of “OhmygodohmygodOHMYFREAKINGOD!!!” the deed was done. The channel was shoved into my vein. And it hurt like a bitch for the first couple of hours. Then it was not as a big a bother as I thought it would be. Except that I had to pee every second. Okay, not second. Hour. Every goddamned hour.
So anyway, two days from the day I got admitted, the doctors were not worried about my platelet count anymore. Because along with my platelets, my WBC count took a suicide fall too. It went down to a whooping 1300, and 4000 is the bare minimum normal whatever. The doctors were all panicking and started talking bone marrow transfusion and other fancy medical terms while I was calmly scrolling through Pinterest. What else could I do? Nothing. Then they put me on antibiotics and thankfully, no bone marrow transfusion was required. Eventually they remembered that my platelet count was down too. But nobody really gave a damn bout that. Everybody was just concerned about the WBC count. Anyway, then both the counts went up and I’m about to be discharged in a few hours now!

So, lemme tell you about a typical day in the hospital.

At 5.45am, a person would inevitably knock on the door EVERY single day, to suck blood. With a syringe. For a blood test. Did I mention that this happens everyday?
Then, after that guy leaves you the hell alone, by 6.30am, a nurse would come in, wake you up, practically shove you into the bathroom with your toothbrush and change the bed linens while you’re brushing. And no, it doesn’t matter if you have a 103 degree fever. It doesn’t matter if your body is aching like hell. It doesn’t matter if you are feeling like shit on fire that particular morning. It doesn’t matter if you have been partially digested by a freaking cobra. If the nurse asks you to get up and brush, you get the hell up and brush.
Then, by 7 am, right when you go back to sleep after brushing, somebody else will knock at the door with your breakfast tray. Half an hour hence, a nurse will come in to check your temperature and measure your blood pressure. Then the doctor comes for his morning round. After the doctor checks your vitals and all, you are free for a couple of hours. I usually chose to sleep for those couple of hours. Then by 12, you get lunch. After which, another nurse would come in to check your vitals again and give meds and all. Then I usually chose to sleep till some other people came to bug me. Basically, there’s no peace. Really. No peace. There’s always someone who needs to check something.

Anyway, Sweet Home Alabama is starting, gotta watch it for the millionth time, so bye!

P.s. My hand is also starting to hurt now cuz of the saline thingy which they removed today in the morning. So, tata!

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So I am in class right now. And we are studying Arms and the Man. Well, the rest of the class is. I am typing this. Its just so bloody boring! Not the play. The way ma’am is teaching it. I mean, its amazing really. How these teachers make me want to slip into coma. Or something. Even Facebook has nothing interesting to offer. -_-
Bloody hell.

the view outside is so pretty! Or id like to pretend so. I can just see coconut trees and a couple of kids. And there’s still 15 more minutes to go. And then I can go hoooome!

Well. It was nice whining on the world wide web. Bye for now! I think the teacher can see me. If so, im screwed.

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I have awesome relatives, period. Well, at least the ones I know are pretty awesome. That is, my mum’s side of the family. Why the sudden declaration? Cuz I miss them.

I’m at my grandparents place at the moment. Usually when I’m here, so are my cousins and aunts and uncle. And when all of us are under one roof, its CRAZY. Honest. Most of the time is spent observing the Neanderthal kids, i.e. my little 4 year old cousin brother, my 4 year old cousin sister, my 11 year old cousin sister and my 12 year old brother. They fight like a bunch of pmsing bitches and then within seconds, are as pally as the One Direction ladies. Okay, bad reference. Anyway. The rest of the time is spent listening to stories that my aunts have to tell, my younger aunt of her daughter and students and my elder aunt of my younger aunt and mother. Confusing? I know. One of the stories off the top of my head that my younger aunt once told is about this student of hers, who’s final exam answer sheet she was checking. Apparently, they were supposed to write a letter to their friend about how they spent their summer holidays and that student just wrote, “Dear Sam, summer holidays were amazing fun. I can’t wait to tell you all about it when we meet. Please come soon. Love, Rick.” LOL.

And one of her stories about her daughters was about when the younger one was 3 and went to this lady to study (sort of), like learn the alphabets when her mother was at school (teaching, not studying). Apparently she told the lady, “why do you always shout at me? Do this, do that! I’m smart, lady! I know everything! So stop telling me what to do or I’ll tell everybody how stupid my teacher really is.” Beat that.

So anyway, now I’m at my grandparents place and none of them are here. My 4 year old cousin brother was here yesterday though. He spent most of his time going Ben10 alien shit on me. The rest of it he spent shoving tablespoons, forks and serving spoons down his pants. But he went home yesterday. He cried for an hour before going though. Cuz he didn’t wanna go home. After half an hour we discovered the reason why he didn’t wanna go home. It was because they don’t have a coconut tree at their place. But now I’m here alone with my grandparents whom I love very much, but I’m so bored! All I’ve been doing is staring at a cat. And occasionally sitting by the pond. Till the ants attack me. Yeah. Okay bye now. Its raining so I should go say hello to the garden gnomes.

I admit, I am not the best person to write a post like this. I mean, I seem to be a douche magnet. All the guys I have dated have turned out to be complete douchebags. And the ONE decent guy i manage to find happens to be WAY out of my league. So, for obvious reasons, I am the wrong girl to write a post with that title. Therefore I shall tell you what NOT to do if you are trying to catch Mr. Hottie’s attention. Basically, it’s everything I have ever done. Living the Murphy life. So here goes-

1. Let us assume that you haven’t got the guts to talk to that guy, for whatever reasons. But some random day, you wake up with this new found determination, fuelled by ingestion of unimaginable amount of alcohol or sleep deprivation, to talk to the guy, do NOT start your conversation by saying something like, “Hi, I’m so bored that I’m ready to carry out a full fledged conversation with a chair, so what’s up?” No. Don’t do that. While it may sound funny to you now, notice how you end up calling the guy a chair. And calling a guy a piece of furniture used to park your butt on is not a very effective way of attracting him. Speaking from personal experience. The guy never spoke to me again. For obvious reasons.
Moving on,

2. Now lets assume that you do manage to strike up a conversation that sounds a little intelligent, make sure that you do not end up staring at the guy with wonder and stars in your eyes and completely tune out. Because if he asks for your opinion about something and you just agree to it blindly, because you weren’t really paying attention to what he was saying so you have no clue about what he asked, you might just end up agreeing that buying his mother a green monkey with pink polka dots on it for her birthday is a brilliant idea. Not a good thing to happen. He will lose interest in you if he thinks that you have no interest in whatever he says.

3. Now lets assume that you both have managed to continue your oh-so-intelligent-and-interesting-conversation for about 15-20 minutes and have now decided to talk about music. If it so happens that he loves rock and metal and you love pop, steer away. STEER AWAY I tell you. Dangerous territory. Apparently, it is VERY important for the guys to know that the girl he is interested in has similar interest in music as him. So I’ve come to know recently. And God forbid that you ever say something negative about his favourite artist… He will verbally rape you. If he is the badass type that is. And majority of the girls go for the badass types.

4. Further assuming that you have managed to survive the conversation and have managed not to bore him thoroughly, you need to make sure that you don’t repel him unknowingly. Don’t act like a kid. Its annoying. Don’t go all pink princess on him either. He feel probably end up feeling nauseated. Don’t yell at him unnecessarily. Don’t get offended at every little thing he does. You were the one who was attracted to him, so accept him as he is.
And finally,

5. DO NOT go all forever and always on him. Never do that. Unless you are positive that he feels the same way. If the guy is sort of commitment phobic, he will sprint the other direction before you can say “kids”. So before you start deciding the color of your bedroom walls and middle names of your six children, make sure that he won’t vamoose at the thought of it.
p.s. I have never done this!! Talk kids I mean. This is something I heard about. So just mentioning it.