Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:I have had to restart practice many times because of bouts of depression and malaise. Sometimes I really can't do it and sometimes it is just an excuse.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

Don't think of it as restarting, you just took a break. Don't stress yourself about practice. Practice should be a glimpse of the sky behind the clouds, open and easy. Make very short sessions to begin with, maybe 10 minutes or so.

/magnus

"To reject practice by saying, 'it is conceptual!' is the path of fools. A tendency of the inexperienced and something to be avoided."- Longchenpa

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:I have had to restart practice many times because of bouts of depression and malaise. Sometimes I really can't do it and sometimes it is just an excuse.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

Don't think of it as restarting, you just took a break. Don't stress yourself about practice. Practice should be a glimpse of the sky behind the clouds, open and easy. Make very short sessions to begin with, maybe 10 minutes or so.

Recently, due to a lot of work at my job and school and not enough sleep, I've done a couple days with just a minute or two lol. Any more and I'd start thinking of it as just another chore I have to do and I don't think it should be like that. Sometimes you just need to relax. Sometimes these periods are longer but I think the important thing is to not give up completely and at least have the aspiration to continue in the future.

Although many individuals in this age appear to be merely indulging their worldly desires, one does not have the capacity to judge them, so it is best to train in pure vision.- Shabkar

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:I have had to restart practice many times because of bouts of depression and malaise. Sometimes I really can't do it and sometimes it is just an excuse.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

Even if you can only do one small positive thing (like sweep up dust from a tiny corner of the room), do it with the intention to relieve suffering of self and others. In this way, many activities which you might consider insignificant, can be genuine dharma practice. Then you can start taking satisfaction in little things. For me, when things get really bad emotionally, and I feel like my dharma practice is all messed up, I might just say to myself: "well, right now, I am not performing any negative actions with my body or speech. (yay!) Right now, I have the wish to be happier and more productive and add value to the world. (yay!) Right now I'm going to clean this one dirty dish that has been sitting in my sink for 2 days. Now the entire world is a tiny bit cleaner. (yay!)" Might not make me happy right away, but at least I know I'm still on the path.

Also, here is a big one to help with depression: if you are getting any internal guidance about changes to make in your life, or self-care (e.g. diet changes, exercise, etc.), follow it.

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:I have had to restart practice many times because of bouts of depression and malaise. Sometimes I really can't do it and sometimes it is just an excuse.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

Don't think of it as restarting, you just took a break. Don't stress yourself about practice. Practice should be a glimpse of the sky behind the clouds, open and easy. Make very short sessions to begin with, maybe 10 minutes or so.

Recently, due to a lot of work at my job and school and not enough sleep, I've done a couple days with just a minute or two lol. Any more and I'd start thinking of it as just another chore I have to do and I don't think it should be like that. Sometimes you just need to relax. Sometimes these periods are longer but I think the important thing is to not give up completely and at least have the aspiration to continue in the future.

Courtesy of ChNNR the possibility to have a complete session lasting one minute.

/magnus

"To reject practice by saying, 'it is conceptual!' is the path of fools. A tendency of the inexperienced and something to be avoided."- Longchenpa

Pero wrote:Recently, due to a lot of work at my job and school and not enough sleep, I've done a couple days with just a minute or two lol. Any more and I'd start thinking of it as just another chore I have to do and I don't think it should be like that. Sometimes you just need to relax. Sometimes these periods are longer but I think the important thing is to not give up completely and at least have the aspiration to continue in the future.

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:I have had to restart practice many times because of bouts of depression and malaise. Sometimes I really can't do it and sometimes it is just an excuse.

Any advice or words of encouragement?

I've had to restart practice after significant "breaks" myself. It's funny how it appears as though even during these lapses, I seem to be learning "the right things" that help to make my practice that much better. Mind you , I certainly am not advocating breaks, unless the practice is starting to seem like a "chore." (Time to find out why.)

For example, my most recent lapse in practice was a dousy and began two days after Khenchen Palden's parinirvana in June of 2010. I didn't lose any faith or devotion or anything else by the event, on the contrary I had one of my most memorable and intensive "secret ninja solo mini-retreats." After reading the email the next morning in a coffee shop conviently located at the entrance to the road up the mountains, I got up from my chair, drove to about 10k ft, set up camp, and didn't leave for a couple days. My intention was to purify any breaches in my samaya with Him, and to say "goodbye" I guess.

I had been depressed for a while at that point from divorce and other thing, and I had started to just go through the motions with everything, including practice. I came off the mountain knowing a couple things for certain. Not only was Khenchen not gone, but I felt closer to Him than ever up there, and I knew that wouldn't go away. I had also burned whatever was deep inside me that made me neurotic over all the particulars and petty details (which only served to ruin everything, even practice) in the fire.

I'm not sure why I stopped practicing then actually, but I continued to hang out with my Apache 'unlce' and his boys learning all kinds of amazing ceremony, "medicine," and other life lessons that come from walking The Good Red Road. One of my huge lessons there was how to pray. I realized REAL quick, most likely frantically trying not to dig a tunnel out of a sweat lodge while Uncle Eaglehawk forced my attention back to my prayers, that even though I had good intentions, I was to that point too selfish to pray. I knew even before then that I was just reading or saying things, and that there was something missing but I didn't know what it was. I couldn't get out of my own way. I was listening to myself instead of loosing myself (or ego) and communicating to "Creator" or "Guru." If anyone knows how to remove themselves from their prayers, it's Native Americans with their sometimes astonishing sacrifice that almost defines their prayer. Sweats, flesh offerings, sundance, holy cow. I joke to myself that it's actually like cheating, cause they don't have to "work" to make a connection, they hurt so bad that their ego is gone before they even remember to make their prayer! It really is a thing of beauty actually, to go through so much pain and suffering to add power to the prayers that they have for themselves and especially their families, and many others. I digress...

Needless to say, I learned quite a bit to bring back to practice when the time finally came. It creeped up on me over a long time, but one day I was really badly hurt, and a great friend (another Apache come to think of it) was doing some medicine work on me in my room, I looked up and saw a picture of Khenchen and bust into tears. It was weird ya, but I got the message. I feel great about my practice now, and there are no hesitations, or self-doubt or any of that. The old cliche, "everything happens for a reason." Mine was that I had to stop in order to re-learn how to do it as I had gotten lost in my own neurosis over every little detail. You may not feel that way about your "breaks," but I bet if you took some time to step back you might be able to realize something about yourself and your path. At the very least, here was a VERY longwinded attempt at encouragement in the vien of: "i stop too sometimes, but it certainly hasn't lost any of its power or beauty or benefit in my experience."

Pema Rigdzin wrote:

heart wrote:Courtesy of ChNNR the possibility to have a complete session lasting one minute.

/magnus

And again, dit-friggin'-to!

Hello again B!!!!!!

Was thinking about tuning into a Web Cast to see what all the buzz is about. I've been reading some of ChNNR's books and I absolutely love them...

There is also a Yanzab Three Roots retreat at the end of the month a couple hours away from me I thought I should go to[quote="heart"]

^^^ What up, Adderson! Good to see you, too, brother. Loved your story above and the message. If I can manage a bit more time sometime, I may share a somewhat similar experience, at least in terms of the underlying message. For now I'll just say that, for me, maintaining even the simplest and most unelaborate guru yoga, even if I'm not formally practicing to the extent I feel I should be, maintains that connection and that influence even though in general it feels like I'm on a break.

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.Through the qualities of meditating in that way,Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."