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I originally wanted to write a short comic to tide you guys over until I finished the really long comic I'm working on (hopefully I'll post it on Monday), but then I got totally carried away and ended up making an overly dramatic animated film about a childhood experience with my mom's friend's cat.

And I totally stalked your Youtube. The rock video made me think about the time in 6th grade a "friend" threw a rock at me and it hit me in the left eye, then the next year when we had vision tests, I failed for the first time and had to go to the eye doctor and they told me I had astigmatism in my left eye.

dude, that was freakin awesome! i have 2 gray cats who will also wound small children when necessary.and btw, my 8 yr old wants to be you when she grows up. she writes her own blog & always wishes she could be as funny & famous as you.

Yeah...I thought it was a good idea to pick up my cat when he was hissing at a puppy. I only wanted to throw him inside and got four slashes on my arm instead. I love your blog, it makes my day (and classes) less boring.

OMG, seeing your drawings in motion was hilarious. Also, please post more! I remember when you posted like 3 times a week. I don't even care if they have pictures or not just write something crazy and it will make me smile. :)

Oh my god, the cat attached to your face is exactly what happened with one of our cats when I was growing up. Except you should replace where I said "your face" with "my face."I've just had flashbacks.

The last time I held a cat, it pooped on me. I'm not sure which scenario is worse. At least when it's blood on you, you know it's yours. Then again, you FREAKING know it's your blood. Which totally sucks. Solution: Pick a guinea pig. (Preferably a hypothetical one, a.k.a. a person. Since every cat I know would attack a real guinea pig on sight. So that would be entirely unproductive) Get said guinea pig to go pick up cat. If all is well, ask for cat. If all is not well, laugh and point.

That was awesome! Now can you make a video of the gianormous red dog that chased (the then 4 year old) me home and proceeded to try and gobble me up through the storm door and front door that I had protectively tried to lodge myself between? I'm fairly certain I pissed my pants out of sheer and utter terror so feel free to add that bit as well. - The Empress

One moment, they cuddle with you, rubbing you with their furry little chin, the next, they claw on to you for dear life as they *think* they're going to fall from your lap, then to repay you for propping them back where they belonged, they attack your finger...

omg...this almost happened to me except instead of a cat it was a dog and instead of claws it was her teeth and instead of my head it was my lip. bad news.

We had just gotten a toy poodle puppy (dumbest dog ever btw) and my brother and sister and I would fight over who got to hold her. She got so agitated at one point that she yelped and snapped her teeth and my lip just happened to be in the way.

A bloody face, ruined shirt, and 7 stitches later I got grounded for the dog biting me....

I hate Google. I have been battling with Google Analytics. I want to nuke Google. I so hate them. And in 90 seconds you made my mad go away. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I wuv you Allie. Totally agree about cats. Nuke them.http://nodavebarry.blogspot.com/

Ahhhhhhhhhahahasdksadsakdfjaskdhf;askld. That last part happened because I was laughing so hard I was snorting and then drooling and then biting my tongue, which messed up my delicate and sweet lady-like laugh. I like the video twist. Sho do. Also, this post reminded me about how my best friend got sent to the principal's office in 1st grade for drawing a big picture of a cat's arsehole. Not that you drew pictures of that fleshly sphincter 'neath the cat's tail...but I'm sure you have in other posts, you poor, demented creature...that I will be for Halloween.

GUY DRESSED AS A BEER CAN: HEY!! Who are you supposed to be? (I'll have blonde pigtails and will be wearing a pink dress, of course)

ME: Allie Brosh!!!! You know! She writes Hyperbole & a Half!!!

(meanwhile I'll be mauling people with the bear claws I have hidden behind my back every time I reach for a refill or a handful of popcorn)

BEER CAN MAN: Uhhh...what does hyperbowlie mean? Can you dip chips in it?

Me as Allie: NO, you FREAK!! (That's when I will stop saying anymore words and will simply begin squirting everyone with the fake blood I brought with me)

One time at a friend's house I got some cat germ in my eye and it swelled up and made me look like a diseased druggie rapist.

Cats should be banned. I mean seriously, who goes around saying, "oh wow I miss (insert owner or other significant person in your life's name here) so much. I think I'll piss on their bed and/or clothes. That will show them how much I truly adore them and they will never leave me again, EVARRRR!!!"

Answer: No one but those clawed fiends people WILLINGLY (why would anyone ever intentionally do that?!?!?) bring into their homes around themselves and innocent defenseless children. Cats are more of a danger to humankind than serial killers, shoelaces getting caught in escalators, and AIDS.

OH GOD THIS IS TOTALLY ME without the bleeding part though but seriously. if i go to someone's house and they have a cat my puils dialate and i turn into OMG COME HERE KITTEH I LOVE YOU and no-one sees me for an hour.

YAAAY! I was just about to go to bed and was checking for the umpteenth time to see if you'd posted something new (because I am spoiled by your constant awesomeness) and you HAD!!! It was like you read my mind! Which is good, because otherwise I probably would've broken down and whined. And nobody wants to see that.

As someone else said, the music totally does sound like, "COME HERE KITTY, KITTY COME!!!" Which is hysterical.

Also, I think my brother wrote you a note on your fish post about how he laughed so hard he got a headache. But he says it was soooo worth it. And I'd like to thank you for making my brother (and me) laugh, because he has this annoying, oppressive job that pisses him off all the time and he needs stuff like this. If it weren't 1 am, I'd call him right now and tell him to watch this.

I've never been severely injured by a cat - although my cat did drag her claws through my shoulder the day before I was due to go sunbathing for a week - but I have a horrible reaction to flea bites. It's odd that you should make a dramatic video about a cat attack, because I was going to do one about a flea infestation.Now I'm not sure whether to do it or not. On the one hand, now I know they can be done and can be awesome; on the other hand, mine won't be as awesome as yours.Either way, I enjoyed it immensely! Hope to see moe videos from you!On a side-note, was the music you used Immediate Music/Globus? It sounded a lot like them, but it was a track I'd never heard before.xxx

I've never been severely injured by a cat - although my cat did drag her claws through my shoulder the day before I was due to go sunbathing for a week - but I have a horrible reaction to flea bites. It's odd that you should make a dramatic video about a cat attack, because I was going to do one about a flea infestation.Now I'm not sure whether to do it or not. On the one hand, now I know they can be done and can be awesome; on the other hand, mine won't be as awesome as yours.Either way, I enjoyed it immensely! Hope to see moe videos from you!On a side-note, was the music you used Immediate Music/Globus? It sounded a lot like them, but it was a track I'd never heard before.xxx

Cats are just psychotic in general. My cat was de-clawed (not by any choice of ours, we got him from a neighbor who was moving and couldn't take him with) so he had to improvise. His two methods of attack were beating you with his paws rapidly, or hooking a claw around your leg while you walked and pulling back in a clear effort to end our lives. I almost lost a tooth to that cat...

best. video. ever. that was hysterical and also true. if you value your blood and prefer your skin intact, never, never, never, EVER follow a cat to it's hiding space (ie, under the bed). it will come out all claws and try to kill you. no matter how loving and gentle and cuddly and purry it is the other 23 hours, 42 minutes of the day, it will try to kill you.

brava, allie.

and my most recent blog was also cat-related:http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/

We need "Hyperbole and a Half: The Movie". I would see it opening night, and once a week after that. Daily when it goes to the cheap movies. Then I'd buy the special edition Director's Cut Box set from the Criterion Collection. And watch it NON-STOP.

This is funny, but I feel like the animation undermined some of the impact of your drawings because they were moving all over the place. I couldn't see them for long enough to fully revel in all the subtle humor. Does that make sense? The drawings are so rich, I need time to really look at them. That's right, I said your drawings have subtle humor. :)

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!I grew up with cats in my house and my sister was TOTALLY capable of whistling so loud and at a ear-bleeding pitch that she would cause our (now deceased) cat, Frisky, to come up to her in one swift movement and bite her.So, cats are crazy. And so was my sister for provoking cats.

Hi Allie, I just found your blog and I think I have fallen in love with you. Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything dangerous (I'm tiny and live too far away to ever get near you) but I will stalk you on the internet from now on :)

Allie, your blog reminds me of postsecret.com ... the part where you read some of the secrets, and you think "I'd love to know the story that goes with that secret", except you *do* give the story. So you're like the *best* part of postsecret.com

It makes me a little bit uncomfortable/secretly giddy that so many of your childhood stories seem to be straight out of my life. I (or I should say my face) had a run-in with my brother's friend's cat the day before school pictures in 4th grade. Nothing like shredded skin to necessitate an early introduction to makeup.

Yes! I love these animals, but I also seem to be made of catnip. Every time someone says "oh, this cat never bites anyone," I seem to end up with cat fang piercings. Even my own cat liked to stalk me from around corners and try to latch onto my head. Sheesh.

This is what my cat was like when she aws stil alive. I have permanent scars from that small black ball of fluff and evil.

Once, she was facing off against the two alsations the people down the road let just roam around. They were probably going to kill her. I walked in there, despite being terrified of dogs, to pick her up and take her away from them. I saved my cat from a lethal mauling and as thaks I got a non-lethal mauling. With a deep scar on what is now my left breast. Ow.

My cat bit me for no reason one time, so I put her in time out in one of my dresser drawers. Except for then I forgot about her and went to school, and my mom heard her yowling like 2 hours later and rescued her from near-suffocation and then I got grounded.

Hokay, so, you should never meet my cat. She's beyond the need for Valium. Bald on one half of her body and has serious anger management issues. Had to have her declawed when the baby was born... Too scary. Chased an A/C repair man out my the bedroom window. BIG old redneck, too. Climbs legs, attacks with crazy kitty paws, etc... I think it's because she wasn't breastfed....

Well, I'm super creepy and i've been reading all about you. And all I can say is, besides being mildly OMFG SO FREAKING HILARIOUS, you're pretty cool. I always stepped on my friend's pet's tails. They didn't appreciate it. Proof of their lack of appreciation: my scratched up legs.

Well, I'm super creepy and i've been reading all about you. And all I can say is, besides being mildly OMFG SO FREAKING HILARIOUS, you're pretty cool. I always stepped on my friend's pet's tails. They didn't appreciate it. Proof of their lack of appreciation: my scratched up legs.

I think you just found the easiest way to make money on the internet: Make all your posts into videos. If you get enough views, Youtube will allow you to ad advertisements, and you can make a living ENTIRELY off of your talent! Done! Yay!

I'm giggling because I'm 100% sure that's how my childhood cat saw me when she was hiding under the bed. She hissed and growled at me like a little demon. FORTUNATELY (for my face!!) my parents had her declawed, or the same would have happened to me. Not saying I didn't deserve it....

The best thing about this video - besides its killer production and musical ensemble - is the bit where child allie is just running left to right of screen, with cat firmly lodged in brain. For about 30 seconds. Then a darker version of that happens. Hollywood script writing potential right there baby.

Also, cats aren't so bad. Can you blame them for totally not respecting peoples personal boundaries and not liking children? Why not make a community service announcement about the dangers of lizards? 1. They are like snakes, but with legs, which makes them so much worse. 2. 'Lizard' has the letter z in it, and Z in the shifty-est letter in the alphabet. Search in your heart. You know it to be true.

Cats are terrible. No one should have them, because this is what they do.

I can't even like people that are cat people. What don't they understand about cats being vicious bloodthirsty animals? I mean who would want to own a creature that responds to love and affection by using any of your accessible body parts as a scratching post?

In closing, cats are evil and should be given a taste of their own medicine. I propose that next time everyone sees a cat, poke it in the eye. Pull on its tail. Then, for the love of god (and your life), RUN.

I had a slightly similar, yet not so hysterically created into an awesome video, experience...

I simply picked up my kitten Scarlet, who was Siamese this is important as to why she is the way she is. I was holding her like a baby, and she was purring quite loudly. Then her front paws shot up and grabbed my chin, digging her little needle claws deep into my jaw. She then hissed in my face, dragged her little body up, and bit my chin.

In-frickin-credible... laughed so hard the cat came to see what was the matter with me. When I tried to show her the video, she wouldn't watch. Then I forced her head towards the laptop to MAKE her watch and she bit me. CATS HAVE SHARP PARTS!!

We had a cat once. A nice normal wonderful cat who loved everyone in our family. Even my little sister. That is until we left the two of them alone in a room. For whatever reason Oliver, the cat, would attack the shit out of my sister's head and face whenever the cat got her alone. Amber would scream, the cat would scream, mom would come running. Oliver would then hop off my sister and look at my mom like nothing happened. I don't know why she was crazy.