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Thursday, 22 December 2016

How to deal with the self-esteem pitfall after giving birth!

The Instagram Effect: The Pressure of Perfection

Our relationship
with social media is definitely a love/hate one. As much as we enjoy
seeing what’s up with our friends and our favorite celebrities, its also
takes a toll on our self-esteem. New moms see celebrities shedding baby
weight within a few weeks; fitness models that further promote their
tight abs, cellulite-free, stretchmark-free bodies. Then you have
friends competing with one another… there’s Stephanie with her workout
selfie, in yoga pants and sports bra, stroller jogging with the baby.
She has 300 likes and 30 “Go girl!” comments. You still struggle to lose
the muffin top and it’s been 6 months since you gave birth. It’s
pressure!

Pregnancy, particularly the first
one, can leave some women’s bodies virtually unrecognizable, and the
attitude that women have to look perfect during and immediately after
it, is widely perpetuated by celebrities and #instagramfamous new
mommies. “Seeing beautiful, “perfect” women all over their newsfeeds can
create serious self-esteem and anxiety issues in new mothers,” says New
York City neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez Psy.D, professor at
Columbia University. “After pregnancy, hormones are still raging, the
woman is going through a roller coaster of feelings and adjusting to a
whole new lifestyle; the added pressure to look perfect right away can
be very emotionally disruptive,” she adds.

It’s common for women to become
concerned that their partner will no longer find them attractive
compared to the girls on their own newsfeeds. “While a little insecurity
is normal, fretting over keeping your partner’s attention is counter
productive,” says Hafeez. “You should focus on feeling healthy and
strong again, and especially bonding with your partner and your child.
The feel good chemicals your brain releases while making a connection
with your new baby and adjusting to life as a family will boost your
mood and stave off bad feelings.”

Some new moms might be motivated
to “fix” their new body with surgery. According to the American Society
of Plastic Surgeons the demand for “Mommy Makeovers” has grown
dramatically over the past 10 years; the most popular procedures, breast
lifts and tummy tucks, have increased by 70% and 85% respectively.
These surgery packages aim to combine a number of procedures in one
surgery with one recovery period, meaning a woman can choose to undergo a
breast lift, lipo and tummy tuck in one go.

These packages can also include
reconstructive surgeries, different from cosmetic surgeries in that they
seek to improve the function of the body, rather than alter it for
aesthetic purposes. The most popular is vaginoplasty, which tightens the
vagina, and some say even heightens sensitivity. Since 2010 interest in
vaginoplasty has increased by 45%, possibly more according to various
reports.

However, choosing plastic
surgery to bounce back should be carefully considered. “Pregnancy and
child birth are very traumatic for the body,” says North Carolina board
certified plastic surgeon and best selling author Dr. John Zannis,
“It is very important to give yourself a break.” Going under soon after
pregnancy, especially for multiple procedures, is not recommended. The
body needs time to heal and bounce back on it’s own, and depending on
the age and individual metabolism of the woman, it will!

During pregnancy your organs move
and grow. The uterus itself expands from the size of an orange to the
size of a water melon and shrinks back to it’s normal size, but that
process takes weeks or months, the main reason for your post baby belly.
It takes some women as much as 2 years to fully bounce back. Many don’t
give their body enough credit; it’s a natural machine and it knows what
to do. You will lose about 12 pounds during delivery. Breastfeeding
burns up to 500 calories a day and releases hormones that shrink your
uterus. You need to give it time!

“If a new mom is set on getting
any cosmetic or reconstructive procedure, she should wait at least a
year. This time period allows for the body to bounce back on its own,
heal, regain its strength, and be ready to take the stress and trauma of
invasive procedures,” advises Zannis.

“It’s also very important to
remember that celebrities are human, but they are not “normal people”,
they have a team of nutritionists, trainers, personal assistants,
nannies; helping them and keeping them on a strict schedule, and a
strict diet,” cautions Hafeez, “It’s unrealistic to expect yourself and
your body to go back to supermodel shape in three months.”

“If a person lacks self esteem no
amount of plastic surgery will satisfy them. This is when we see body
dysmorphia and plastic surgery addiction. I encourage mothers to rejoice
in that they are bringing life into the world and their over all health
and well-being is most important for them and their baby. It’s great to
want to lose the baby weight but set a realistic goal,” says Hafeez.

Many ad campaigns are in fact
embracing different body types and a more realistic looking model is
used. Some companies are even including real people and bloggers in
their ads to show that 5’10” 118 pounds on a woman is not the norm.
Don’t be so hard on yourself!