Dear Tea-Bags-McGee

I see you there, warm sweaty balls all over my lifeless, broken down body. Good job, my friend. I deserved that sensual dunk of the testes. After all I just head shot you five times in a row after you chose to run around the same corner repeatedly, so that change of course and blink shotgun was quite the game changer. As I sit and reflect in the soft, sensual caress of your soggy sack I can’t help but notice your team is still down 9,000 points, surely a mercy rule will kick in any time now.

Alas, I am mistaken. Your team effort of tossing marble sacks at my face has impacted the point system more than I originally anticipated. “Guardian down, guardian down,” echoes through the halls. “Where can I purchase a ball sack so swift and fearless?” I think to myself. As I move through the map I see the corruption you have caused. With an announcement of “It’s open season ladies and gentleman,” teammates begin betraying our morals so as to return the stale, tasteless favor. “How do those taste?!!” I hear another friend sneer. Our entire objective is forgotten in hopes of killing you by suffocation, for after all, our balls are bigger than yours.

Suddenly, a blinding ray of hope appears, our attention is redirected to the objective, and the objective is to kick your ass. One of you goes down, then another. Don’t be offended, we’d grace your beautiful face with our gonads, but we don’t have the time. I get taken out, and by no surprise, golf balled throat deep. That’s too bad, because in the time it took you to pummel me with your privates three more of your teammates died. You hear that? That’s a hammer, it’s headed for your face. Your death will give me the final points I need to finish this match and walk away a winner against your infamous stones of steel.

So thank you, General Genitalia, that was a beautiful game. Until I feel the familiar warmth of your berries again, Au revoir.

Sincerely,

Unjustified Tea-Bag Recipients Everywhere

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I see you there, warm sweaty balls all over my lifeless, broken down body. Good job, my friend. I deserved that sensual dunk of the testes. After all I just head shot you five times in a row after you chose to run around the same corner repeatedly,...Krys EvansKrysEvanskrys@radiopressgaming.comAdministratorCoFounder and CCO of Radio Press Gaming, Part Time Streamer, RPG Podcast Host, Writer, Pit Bull Advocate, Mommy.Radio Press Gaming