Mahdoumi:
Hi, Gang! I used to post here obsessively before and shortly after my wedding, and I am so grateful for all the advice and support I received here. I have a new milestone approaching and a related conundrum. At 44 years of age, DH and I are expecting a baby girl practically on our first wedding anniversary. :o

My SIL, the one who planned the beautiful Meet-n-Greet the evening before the wedding ceremony, wants to throw my shower. She does not want to include my other SIL with whom she does not get along and who ran off with all my leftovers including wedding cake and pastries after the wedding, That SIL didn't acknowledge our marriage in any way except to show up . . . didn't even RSVP. That SIL also did not acknowledge DH's announcement of our expected baby girl. However, I insisted to my wonderful SIL that boorish SIL really should be included on the list.

Here's the conundrum: Boorish SIL's 21yo DD is even worse than her mother. She was rude to guests on my side of the wedding and was absolutely nasty to my 15yo DD. I do not want her invited to any more of my "events".

Here's the question: Would it be out of line to invite Boorish SIL without including her DD?

Chocolate Cake:
You may invite whom ever you would like. Just anticipate that there will be some consequences from Boorish, so you and your SIL will have ready responses as to why Boorish's Terrible Daughter hasn't been invited.

Otherwise, I'm just struggling to figure out why you are insisting that Boorish get invited in the first place.

Mahdoumi:

--- Quote from: Chocolate Cake on June 18, 2007, 01:07:15 PM ---Otherwise, I'm just struggling to figure out why you are insisting that Boorish get invited in the first place.

--- End quote ---It would be a deliberate snub, and I don't want Wonderful SIL blamed for it. My DH would also be very upset if everyone were invited except Boorish SIL.

Chocolate Cake:
My DH would also be very upset if everyone were invited except Boorish SIL.

He's okay, then, if Boorish's Terrible Daughter is snubbed? I guess you can take your wins where you find 'em; getting rid of half the equation is better than nothing.

Mikayla:
First....congrats! You must be thrilled, especially since it might end up being on the same date.

But I, too, am having a bit of trouble with your rationale on this one. Clearly, it's your guest list, but I'm not seeing much in the way of logic that would dictate SIL should be invited. Why would your DH want her there if she causes trouble? Also, you say you don't want good good SIL to take the blame, but it sounds like you had to talk her into issuing the invite, so I'm assuming she was willing to accept that blame.

I just have a problem with reinforcing inappropriate behavior. Also, I think it'll be very tricky wording the invite to make it clear it's her sans daughter. She sounds like the type that might bring her anyway and then shrug off the "misunderstanding".