Dog: Yes I thought God would be a dog or a bitch. Was pretty much surprised myself to find a girl.

Man: So talk to me. Now that you have a voice tell me something.

Dog: Well I have to tell you a lot of things. You go around the world being this happy go lucky man and untouched by any sorrow. Your snaps on the social network indicate that you have a better life than a rich Sheik. Here is the truth!!

Man: Ok!! So a dog is going to bark the truth.

Dog: Don't start crying.

Man: I don't cry.

Dog: Well don't lie to me ,I have seen you sobbing like a girl many a times. Ha Ha!

Man: ok!

Dog: Your girl friend is cheating on you.

Man: No way. How can she do that to me?

Dog: Yes she did that and she does it regularly and she enjoys it. You know she sleeps around with her step dad.

Man: No. That can't be. He calls me SON.

Dog: He calls you SON OF A BITCH, the other words you are not able to hear because those are spoken at a very low frequency which dogs can hear. You know why second marriages work?

Man: Why?

Dog: Because of step sons and step daughters.

Man: Ohh I am so angry.

Dog: Wait and your dad.

Man: My dad , i love him so much. What about him?

Dog: Stop calling your father your dad. Look your real father is an Anoynomous Sperm Donor. Your father had got hit on his groin by your mother , so he was pretty much sterile for a good amount of time. Your mom thought that if she needs to get pregnant she needs help. Your neighbor and many other people tried to help her but finally an anonymous sperm donor did it.

Man: No!!

Dog: And I call him an anonymous sperm donor because he didn't reveal his name during the one night stand. Your dad is not going to make you a part of his will. He is planning to ask you the money he spent on your college education.

About

Everyone experiences pain, of course. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians.