A Leader and a Role Model: Learning How to Truly Lead

I have been learning to be an effective leader – and a role model – for the past two years, ever since I applied for a position as shop and staff co-coordinator in a small company.

I struggled a lot in learning to hold this position. It is like being in a sandwich between the owner, the customers and the staff, and feeling responsible for almost everything.

I wanted out at times, I soldiered on, hardened, tried to control situations, etc., but I am still holding this position today and I have made it my everyday commitment to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work… and how to make it fun.

What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.

The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.

I feel one of my major downfalls when I took on the job was that I got so overwhelmed by what needed to be done, I lost sight of the team/staff who were actually there to support me in my task. Whenever I stop focussing on what needs to be done, demanding this of the staff, and start instead to focus more on the person – connecting with them, making sure they are in sync with everybody else – the more they get done in a shorter amount of time.

I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.

I have found that if people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. When people feel great, they are naturally more productive, they are more motivated, they get more done and they are naturally fast, because there is nothing in the way.

My position is therefore more about my being a leader and a role model, and not so much about taking charge, giving orders or doing all the ‘important’ jobs.

In fact, I have given a lot of the ‘important’ jobs to other staff members and they do them so well that it sometimes looks like I am not needed at all. I do a lot of the odd jobs, that people don’t like doing, like cleaning, tidying, etc. I do what needs to be done to have things flow.

At the end of the day, what I am learning is that it is all about me and what I role model in the workplace. Because people look at me all of the time – the staff, the owner and the customers – I am a focal point because I have a nametag that says ‘Shop Co-ordinator’.

So if it is about me, then it is about everything I do – the way I

Prepare for sleep after work.

Get up and lovingly prepare myself for work.

Eat so I can support myself at work.

Conduct myself at work.

In other words, it is about my commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me.

Working like this is more fun as I feel good within myself; I am more open to connect with others because there are fewer things on my mind.

I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.

And everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun. When I meet someone I look for this part – sometimes it takes a little while to uncover it, but it makes my day when I suddenly see the sparkle in someone’s eyes or a smile appear on their face.

So it is ALL about me – never about me being accepted and recognised – but about me being a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way.

In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen, whether their name tag reads ‘Manager’ or ‘Shop Assistant’.

Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?

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Living in Germany I love to bring out your beauty and make you glow. Yes you guessed rightly, I work as a beauty therapist and natural health practitioner. I pay attention to detail, my favourite travel destination is Hoi An (Vietnam) and I think team work rocks. Oh, yes my husband absolutely adores me - what more can you ask for?

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407 Comments

Bryony says:January 13, 2014 at 2:38 pm

Thanks Judith for this inspiring reminder that the very basic and fundamental thing to focus on is being ourselves. I loved this line “What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person… the easier it gets”. So true that when we stop fighting – the situation, our own emotions, etc – and just allow whatever it is to unfold and be felt, we can act not from a place of reaction but from who we truly are.

Yes me too, I also love the phrase “And everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun”, I shall take this philosophy out into my day and enjoy being with me and connecting to the sparkle in someone’s eyes.

I love that same phrase, Sandra. Allthough I had a rough childhood I managed to keep that part in me alive. I realize I can embrace that quality and inspire others to connect to their playfulness instead of thinking I should grow up and maybe take life more serious.

This is also the line that stuck out for me as I have tried to control situations through drive and getting the job done in a particular way. I am feeling the pressure and tension that this creates in my body and the imposition it affects on others. It is a beautiful learning that I am embracing to let go of this control and let others be.

This was something I could very much relate to as well Anne-Marie. In the past a LOT of my time was spent trying to control situations and people! I realised that this was because I didn’t value and accept myself and therefore I didn’t value and accept (& trust) others. The more I have worked on my relationship with myself, the less controlling I have been and there is a much greater appreciation of myself and others.

Priceless…… “What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person… the easier it gets”. Beautiful what happens when we simply step out of the way.

What I am feeling as that we can take this into situations as well. When something that comes along that takes us totally out of our comfort zone, instead of trying to manipulate and control and going into anxiety and tension, just let go and take little steps towards your goal. For me, this would be a relief, knowing that if I just allow myself to just be myself, without comparison, the situation will flow and the world around me will support me in my endeavours. Getting the mind out of the way is the key for me here.

Well said Kirsten, Judith and others. Relationships at work would be really different if that was the way we we worked – and the way we were supported to learn and grow at work too. Judith’s honesty and self responsibility is inspiring – and something that all workplace leaders can develop.

It is interesting how we fear the unknown, worry over new incentives in our work place and how we will be able to cope. So often the words … I don’t have the skills or I am not sure if I can do that are used. If we are supported to know that we may not have that skill yet but are going to get the support through regular modeling, there is an opportunity to create a different work environment that fosters change with a trusted openness.

I’ve been realising how much of my life I have been fighting pressure with pressure, and observing how much this goes on in the world around us. What you have presented here is the complete opposite to that, and what every workplace needs. We need people shining the way in living loving choices for themselves, and therefore living this love and joy with all they see. How could a business not thrive with this formula? When love and letting ourselves be are at the fore, there can only be success.

This is an awesome article Judith, I so love the simplicity of leadership that you present, and taking the responsibility to be you in the workplace. So often we find leadership that is all about control, whereas you present a way forward that shows clearly that – there is another way. Thank you.

I agree it is a great article and the simplicity of how leadership is presented. So often it is so confused by many that being a leader is about controlling – a complete misconception. The truth is there is a different way and control need not be in the equation.

That’s right. Nobody likes to be controlled, it just leads to resentment. Treating everyone on an equal basis and respecting them for who they are and what they bring fosters good working relationships, and if we allow ourselves to just be ourselves and truly connect to people, then things just seem to flow.

What I really appreciate about this Ariana is that this responsibility extends to everything we do, and not just our ‘work’ tasks and activities. True responsibility is how we live in every moment every day, including not only how we are at work, but how we are outside of, and prepare for, work.

Yes, Ariana – who needs complicated leadership courses when Judith has outlined what is truly needed so beautifully here? There are many ways we can learn about to support the teams we work with, and this above example is the definition of true support and love. Thank you Judith.

This is a wonderful sharing Judith. Thank you for your inspiration and the simplicity you bring to the role, instead of all the do’s and don’ts getting in the way of things flowing smoothly. It was great to read and something that I am inspired to apply within myself in my own workplaces.

Truly inspiring Judith, thank you for sharing how things can be different from what many of us are used to at work. I love how you highlight the absurdity of trying to counter something that isn’t working with pretty much the same thing. I can certainly relate to that in the workplace, and to the sense of overwhelm when we try to control things.

and to add to that Stephen, do we realise when we are not taking responsibility we are still ‘role models’ as people are still observing us? In being ourselves and and being willing to take responsibility the ripple effect is enormous. What’s more in an unsteady or intense work environment we can be the shining light that leads the way, offering true inspiration by the steady, consistency offered which is a breath of fresh air when you are feeling bogged down by the intensity of work.

Great point Jane that we are all role models to someone. We do not need the tag line “Leader’ to step up to the responsibility of what we bring and share with the world and the people we meet. We are all being watched by someone & so what is that we are choosing to reflect to the world?

I love your blog Judith so many excellent points that speak for themselves and then this gem from Jane. Yes we are all role models so the question then becomes what example are we giving and what are we modelling? This brings in a whole new level of responsibility as to how we live our life 24/7 as Judith has shared.

Awesome Judith I love how you say it’s ‘about me being a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way.’ What an amazing reflection to have in a workplace and one that inspires me to look at my interactions in a lighter way. Thank you.

On re-reading this blog, I am inspired by you Judith. Who could not be inspired by this:

“In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen, whether their name tag reads ‘Manager’ or ‘Shop Assistant’. Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?”

Thanks Judith – yes we are all role models in one way or another and you are showing how to be a true role model – to live and let live without needing to control and dominate etc. I like how you noticed the difference when you just let go and let be, and how you were able to empower others and get the best from them – a true servant-leader – one who is in service to all and who does what needs to be done, and empowers all others to do likewise as there is a foundation of equality.

I love it Eunice how you combine the two words servant and leader. Servant often comes with the idea of subservience and leader usually implies the idea of dominance. Now combining those two is what makes true leadership. When I am able to make it not about myself but about the purpose of the company or the project and to find the balance of when a healthy subservience is required and when I need to step in and take the lead. I can only find this balance when my own personal wants and needs don’t interfere with my decisions. This shows how important it is that I take good care of myself – that way my wants and needs are already cared for and don’t need to be focused on in a situation where other things need attention.

Thank you Judith, I have taken so much from the loving foundation you have built and the importance of deeply nurturing and caring for ourselves. Which then allows us to bring equality to whatever situation or relationship, as our needs have already been met. We are then free to truly connect and meet people for who they truly are. Beautifully inspiring. Thank you.

Judith, This feels so key; that when we really support and care for ourselves we don’t put all the pressure on ‘needing’ things to be a certain way (becoming controlling or stressed) in order to feel OK as we are already taken care of.
—-very cool.

I can relate to the feeling of control in my workplace as you mentioned. What is inspiring is that regardless of our position or what our name tag states we can all be role models. I felt a sense, that rather than struggling to control the environment you provide support for everyone within that workplace. The role of a supervisor to be one of support rather than control is an amazing way to see such a position. Thank you for such a brilliant blog.

Judith this a great example on how your approach to work and your life can dramatically change if you make it about loving relationships with yourself and others. I experienced a similar approach at the beginning when I started as a general manager and got caught up about what needed to be done and not enough time to do it all in. Then could see that that wasn’t working. As you did, I re-connected with my team and have made sure from that point on it is all about those twinkles in the eye! Each day is a joy to go to work.. some days those twinkles don’t happen, and then we look at it together and make changes that will support us to come back.

I love what you are saying here Natalie. It brings in a new level of responsibility in management, by connecting to the people we are working with and pulling them all up, very supportingly when not working well. It’s easy to go into blaming or fixing things that aren’t right, but this helps no-one.

Twinkles in the eye is gorgeous, to operate that way feels awesome, to share those twinkles feels joyful..is it possible? at work? I feel it is and this is key…”the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.” And I would add, connecting with self first., starting with sharing a twinkle for yourself in the bathroom mirror before the day begins. I dream of getting to this level of self-love one day.

Thank you Judith for this insightful blog, since recently becoming a manager myself I have found your sharing invaluable. I whole heartily agree with you ..”When people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. When people feel great, they are naturally more productive ultimately this then becomes a win win for everybody!”

What you and Judith have shared is a reminder that we all respond to being cared for. Simple truth that you have both brought back into your lives and is reflected in your work. We must APPRECIATE how important and far reaching these simple but often ‘missing’ this quality is in the workplace! We can shine a light in the darkness so easily when we know this simplicity.

Well said Bernadette. I absolutely agree… we all respond to being cared for and what I am finding out is how important expressing love and appreciation for one another is. This is an area where I have struggled big time but just by becoming aware of it, beginning to express a little and noticing when I am being judgmental is beginning to have an impact on bringing harmony within the workplace.

I have struggled a lot with being a leader at work, and when I went to read this blog just now, I initially felt my body harden at the memory of how things (or I) had been, but then as I read it, and felt myself connect to Judith and to her stillness as I did, I felt myself soften, and surrender. Just shows how powerful expression can be – thank you Judith.

Wow Judith I can really feel the power and equality that you bring as a true role model, and the power we all have if we choose to take that responsibility and claim who we are and the truth we stand for. There is also a great sense I get from your article that you have just dropped trying, that deep inside you, you know that who you are is really, truly enough. Very inspiring.

Having read this, I have realised that how I live before and after my shift will build the quality that will be present during those 9 hours. It’s how I prepare myself for work in the morning, as well as putting myself to sleep that will govern my quality when I’m at work. Really cool stuff – Thanks for sharing Judith.

Yes Cheryl taking care of ourselves in a deeply nurturing way is the best platform we can build to carry us through the day. But it works the other way around as well, the more purpose we feel in what we do the more purpose we have to truly take care of ourselves.

I really enjoyed reading your blog Judith so practical and true. Sounds like through your living way you have created an amazing place to work. This sort of thing needs to become common place in the work place. By people having more joy and less stress in the work place it starts a very positive knock on effect as people take this out in the world. You continue to inspire with the way you live, thanks Judith.

It is interesting that you say that sometimes it looks like you are not needed because everything is running so smoothly. The image that came to me is that you are like the connective tissue that we all have in our bodies, when it is flowing and doing its job well it is unseen but crucial for the smooth running of every aspect of the body’s functioning and when it becomes hardened or blocked things quickly seize up. It’s great that you are focused on what everyone needs to do their part well and not on recognition for what a good job you are doing. Amazing reflection for everyone you come into contact with. Thank you.

Helen, I love this sentence relating work flow to the body flow – ‘…..you are like the connective tissue that we all have in our bodies, when it is flowing and doing its job well it is unseen but crucial for the smooth running of every aspect of the body’s functioning and when it becomes hardened or blocked, things quickly seize up.’

What an awesome analogy Helen. This feels so true and spot on with regards to how the unseen energy influences everything. All our loving actions, all of the time, all accountable and accounted for. All for all.

What is so awesome about the elements you describe here Judith is that it all boils down to the simple practice of looking after yourself wholly. I love being a role model in this way as it invites others to come to you, ask questions and subsequently lead themselves, more of an open way of working together. Sure there is always a need for actual leading and leaders in lots of situations but in my experience to grow the trust needed and to build the credibility then it really needs to start with me.

This is great to read because I am currently finding my way within a new job and I can relate to the soldiering on and at times trying to control things. It hasn’t been easy but I realised that if I continue in the same vein then I will hate the job and be in overwhelm and choose my old pattern of leaving.

So I decided to be more present at work, be more gentle with myself, pay more attention to how I speak on the phone and how I pick up and put the phone down. Also at home, making sure that I always have meals ready for work, have my favourite breakfast items in and go to bed early. Living this way helps me to focus on being gentle instead of worrying too much about work and the work-load.

So reading your blog has helped me to see that there is light at the end, of what at times seems to be a very long tunnel. Thank you Judith.

Thank you Judith for a really thoughtful and supportive article . You make many valuable and important points to reflect upon. The one that stood out for me on this reading is, “I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.”

Thank you Judith, this is super inspiring. What I love is the commitment you have made to yourself, to live in a way that supports you to be everything you can be at work. Your love of people (be they customers, staff or the owner) is reflected in your love and care for yourself, and I can feel the blessing everyone in your workplace receives.

Judith, I love coming back to read your blog, it’s so supportive for me and a great reminder of how to choose for myself and not be led by the pressure of the job to make my choices for me. How you write about the “commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me.” This is a commitment to be with me in work and every other area of my life.

Judith. Reading your blog you have all the qualities of being a good leader and role model in you job. Your staff will know that they can trust you, that you will listen openly to what they have to say. Appreciate their expertise, as you can gain from each other. As the saying goes, ‘your staff are your greatest asset.’

Judith, I love how you share what true leadership is. It’s so simple, we lead by example, keeping it light and playful, and through connecting to people – it’s so true, I find at work if I put the systems first and not the people I get lost. Something you mentioned really struck me, that when we take care of ourselves fully, we are then more present and available to do what is required at work and elsewhere as we have taken responsibility for ourselves – this is pure gold, thank you. I will have fun playing with this at work this week.

Fantastic blog Judith, really helpful actually…. I am a real one for getting on and doing everything myself in reaction to stress however reading your blog I can see a very clear and different approach would perhaps suit me more! 🙂

Yes Rachael, I know that one very well – at least I know I can rely on myself, so it seems easier and sometimes quicker to do it myself. But taking the time and investing the energy to share with someone what you know pays out, as you raise people around you that are able to truly support themselves and this way you build a team that is able to support you and each other.

Hi Judith. I absolutely love this. I had a little tear when you said “And everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun. When I meet someone I look for this part – sometimes it takes a little while to uncover it, but it makes my day when I suddenly see the sparkle in someone’s eyes or a smile appear on their face.” Gorgeous.

Great blog about something many of us have to do most days. We spend more time on average at work than we do at home in a typical week, so it makes sense to really look at how are we working and how we can make it flow better and be less stressful, tiring and more fun! Love the concept presented here that when we make it about people, rather than things or deadlines, work seems easier and lighter and more enjoyable. I try to do this also in my job as director and practice manager in a busy health clinic and it really does work. Leadership by example and support and connection rather than dictation and orders is indeed a great role model.

I agree Andrew as you say…’Leadership by example and support and connection rather than dictation and orders is indeed a great role model.’ And I would add to that someone who truly cares about people. And I love how Judith explains how all of the qualities she shares with her staff start with herself first…only then can we truly share them with others.

Thank you for sharing your story Judith. I know when taking on roles of responsibility in the past I have made it more complicated and felt I had to become something to fit into the role. I like where you have said ‘the less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.’

Hi Judith, I just love this blog – how inspiring! How you approach your work just show’s us how when we change our perspective and make life about people and ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’ everything changes. Life responds to simplicity and reflects that back to us. How easily I forget – and how beautiful to be reminded by your living example!

Thank you Judith, a beautifully inspiring article. I love what you say about making it about the people and not so much what has to be done. Meeting and appreciating the people first and then the job at hand just flows, as we all work together and in sync. Awesome.

Well said Beverley. Lately I have been becoming more aware that the more I appreciate the qualities I bring to my workplace but the more I see and can appreciate these qualities in others. We are all responsible to lead and to be role models for each other but first we have to connect with ourselves then each other….

I appreciated the quote “The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.” This is a metaphor for me, of how we all have the potential to live in relationships with others whether in work place or not. Being present, so in the moment rather than consistently planning ahead or reacting to others. Profound.

I had an interesting experience where I had to ‘lead’ a group of people I had never met and it is not something I have ever done before as I normally work on my own. I went into wanting to know things that they knew, when I decided that actually if I tried to get knowledge to feel equal to them I would come into the meeting with an energy of control. I didn’t do any gathering of knowledge and built my self care like you share, sleep, food, quality of how I did things leading up to the meeting and I was open and held myself as equal, not the leader, and it was awesome we worked so well as a team and came up with great ideas. They all lead in their area of expertise and it was felt by all that we were equal. Awesome experience.

Vanessa, great comment. I often get caught with this one, where I feel I have to have all the answers until I realise it’s not possible and I’m undermining another when I do. Really when we lead, it’s about preparing us in a way as you say in how we sleep, eat etc. so we can allow ourselves to be fully there to play our part in the group as an equal member with everyone.

Great sharing of your unfolding wisdom of leadership Judith. This makes so much sense, ‘the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.’and, ‘The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways’. So true, and so gorgeous.

Judith, great sharing, I love how you describe it as being all about people and not things and when people feel met, they naturally get on with it. I’ve observed this in both myself and others and I know and see how things just flow. And I love what Vanessa shared earlier where if we make it about knowledge and knowing what the other knows it becomes about control, really useful to hear this as this is something I am learning right now. Leadership really is about taking responsibility and showing there is another way. Your ending is perfect as in truth we’re all asked to lead.

This is such a great article Judith, I felt inspired reading ‘ I have made it my everyday commitment to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work… and how to make it fun.’ This is beautiful, what a natural and lovely way to work, how different people would feel about going to work if this was the norm, there would be no need for stress, overwhelm and depression linked to work, people could work together, support each other and have fun.

Judith. Thank you for sharing. You lead by example, and by doing so you have gained the trust of your work colleagues, who will come to you, for guidance and help, as they have real trust in your abilities.

Judith, this is a great blog to re-read – a very inspiring writing which all business places could benefit from using as their model for leadership roles.
It is also a beautiful reminder of how to be in everyday living, connecting with all people in deeper relationships without imposing on anyone.
Thank you!

Stephanie you’ve raised a great point here. True leadership doesn’t impose but asks all those in the team to bring their gifts to the job. If we model this in each part of our day we are naturally showing another that there is another quality to work from that is free from expectations and the constant drive to perform.

Bringing it back to me and my responsibility in the quality I present has been very empowering for me not just in the work place but in every aspect of my life. Until recently if I made it ‘all about me’ it was based on recognition and wanting to please and ‘do’ the right thing. This would then lead to wanting to take control so that things went my way. Knowing we are all equally leaders and we can each bring something to the ‘table’ takes away the need for control and brings a simplicity to everything we do.
“What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.” This is so true. Thank you Judith re-reading your blog was so inspirational, confirming and a joy to read.

Thank you Judith for an inspiring article. I can really feel the harmony that you inspire in your workplace. I feel your observation, “What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets” to be something that is invaluable to practice in all situations.

Absolutely amazing Judith. I read in your bio that you like to bring out people’s beauty and make them glow. You certainly did that for me in reading your blog today. Thank you and keep up the amazing sparkly work you are doing being YOU :0)

What I like about this article is that being the role starts before one gets into work. It is how we care for ourselves outside of work and at work. This consistency in all areas of life is seen and felt by those we work with.

This consistency is immensely supportive and we can rely on our livingness when things get difficult, provided we have that livingness available. If we don’t, we will just have to use coffee and sugar.

I love how you present a fresh look at leadership, it is remarkable that how you live allows you to lead like this. It so makes it clear that how we live gives us the life we lead. We so often want to blame everything and everyone for our unhappiness at work, but it is how we live from day to day that gives us the life we have. And we can change it at any time we choose! So very liberating!

Thanks for this great post Judith. “In other words, it is about my commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me.” So it is all about how we are and how we live our lives that can then inspire others, ie walking our talk.

So good to hear someone talk about having had challenges at work, and having completely turned things around, and not by complaining or pointing the finger at others, in fact the opposite. There was so much in this article that was perfect for my morning, perfect for my preparation for the day ahead at work, but the one which shines out for me right now is ‘I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them’. I am going to commit to this and see what happens.

That is a great commitment to make Catherine and I am making it everyday. It is so easy to get caught up in the doing especially at work with all the demands and things that need to be done. People (staff, boss and customers alike) sometimes seem to forget that you are a person and not a machine that just produces results, so I see it as my responsibility to remind them of whom they are dealing with – that can be simply through eye contact, some words or a gesture, anything that has me in it.

Thank you so much for sharing Judith. I myself work as a manager in retail and I can shift between trying to control all situations, which then doesn’t allow others to play their part and share their true self and then allowing myself the space to just be me and let things flow. Thank you for the beautiful reminder.

This blog and the insights could be shared in any workplace handed out on people’s first days, and not only managers.
If we all would take care of ourselves and make it about people first the world, and in this case the workplace would be a different place. It would feel like we are all equal and like we are all leaders. i love what you present here Judith and will re-read your blog many times.

Really inspiring to read and reminds me how to be at work, and .. well everywhere really. This was lovely to read “The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.” Gosh, it is so true I have experienced that as well; but how many times do we make it about doing and not being! We have so much to learn here. I also loved reading how you gave staff the more important jobs whilst you got on with the more mundane things. That was just loving to read, I could feel how that brought an equalness within you all as a team and how it flowed. Thank you for sharing.

Vicky – the key you have highlighted is how to BE at work, I love this insight and need to remind myself to not fall into the trap of doing.
I often supervise others and it is remarkable how far people are prepared to go to support the team when given the license to enjoy (have fun) at work (extra hours, support one another go the extra mile, make the extra phone call).
We are not slaves nor must we have our ‘grist to the mill’ Nothing wrong with working with purpose and enjoying what we do. There is an old saying – people don’t leave their workplace they leave their supervisor – A great reflection for this excellent article about leadership and how a ‘present’ leaders can enable those around them and deliver humanity in all that we do. Many thanks

That last question really stuck with me and makes a lot of sense to my current situation where a promotion is right in front of me yet being held back. Not from my manager but from me. Rather than giving into the ‘not good enough’ thoughts I can in this moment appreciate that there is nothing actually stopping me other than my own choices to not accept that I can be a true role model and I can step up. No expectations to instantly get it right but I feel that actually saying no to the ‘not good enough as you are’ thoughts is a step in the right direction.

I can so relate to this feeling Leigh. For me it is time to step into a new position and it is always a challenge to claim these bigger shoes. As it brings changes and new things to learn and of course part of that is to make a few mistakes a long the way. And the higher up in the chain of command you are, the more you get looked at, watched in your actions, commented about and also at times opposed and resisted. But hey we are amazing – so what can go wrong?

“What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets”

Inspirational in how you point out and describe very simply in that how we live is the way we lead. We can then see the responsibility we have in our life choices moment to moment. Thanks for shining the light on this important point Judith.

Judith, I love your commitment and your dedication to hold your position with integrity. The responsibility you have claimed through your work is inspiring. This is also very true and a great reminder when meeting and working with people – ‘And everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun’. As I agree that I also love seeing someone else’s sparkle through a loving connection made. You are a wonderful role model not only in your work place, but also to us all.

Such a lovely and truthful sharing of a workplace experience. It’s great to read Judith how when understanding what was going on, you had all that was required to change pressure into power. Thanks for the lovely sharing on doing the little jobs, the ones that you ‘care’ to do.

I really enjoyed this article. You are a great role model Judith. Letting go of the push to live up to the name badge and just being yourself and inspiring others to blossom and meet you with a twinkle in their eye.

Loved to read this blog this morning Judith, there are just so many shining gems throughout that I will read again and again. ‘What are the signs that show a true leader and role model’, this sentence pretty much sums it up for me: In fact, I have given a lot of the ‘important’ jobs to other staff members and they do them so well that it sometimes looks like I am not needed at all. I do a lot of the odd jobs, that people don’t like doing, like cleaning, tidying, etc. I do what needs to be done to have things flow. Very inspiring Judith.

I like how you make it very simple, you make it about people, about connecting and that your joy is in finding and uncovering the part in people that “likes to play and have fun”. You make it very real Judith. Plus, I love your BIO of who you are, at the bottom of the article, completely revealing your humour and playfulness☺ I have also just started work, and this leadership and ease with staff members is something I will be working on. To enjoy rather than fight the pressures. It feels like you have changed the whole work place! – How awesome you are.

‘I have made it my everyday commitment to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work… and how to make it fun.’ In allowing ourselves to be ourselves and bring all the loving choices we have made along to our work we are all role models and each of us can be an inspiration, no matter what job title you have.

Inspiring blog thank you. It’s great to pay attention to our way of being at work and the difference it makes when we start by taking care of ourselves. I notice if I do not allow time to set myself up for they day and I rush to work my whole day is a struggle. Once we let go of our expectations for what we should ‘get done’ in a day I find the day flows and everything ‘gets done’ without me trying.

This is a great blog about leadership Judith. In my job I come across many books and theories about leadership but none expressed so simply and beautifully. We can all be leaders when living in our true expression.

Judith I can relate to so much of what you say from a staff management perspective. It is no small feat when you sit between the business owner, staff, what the business and clients need plus everything that needs to be done to keep running and not get caught up in any of that. You bring it back so simply to being present with others, connecting with them and appreciating them. As you say you keep perspective amidst all the pressures and distractions and hold onto why you are really there. How you are living and working Judith are awe inspiring – thank you.

Thank you Judith. I love your words ‘if I let people be, and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them’. So true that when we try and ‘train’ people to do our way of doing things then it is being controlling and manipulative and people resent this. Your way is another way and allows people to feel appreciated and thus far more productive.

What you say is really important Judith:
“I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.”
That’s what I am learning, to make it about people first, everything else is second.

True Janina. It is always about people first, starting with ourselves. When we over complicate our lives in the doing we can miss what is there for us to see and feel.
The doing, rather than feeling, can also be a way of hiding from ourselves and others.

I enjoyed reading your blog Judith thank you ~ you have exposed with simplicity that by us choosing to remain with ourselves allows others the opportunity to be the same. ” In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen, whether their name tag reads ‘Manager’ or ‘Shop Assistant” ~ absolutely.

Judith. Enjoyed reading your blog. There are so many books on theories and leadership written, all saying different things – “We can all be leaders, if we trust in our ability, express openly, and lead by example. Your staff are your greatest asset…”

Beautiful Judith, ‘I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.’ It is lovely to read how simple and flowing a workplace can be when we make it about people.

I loved reading your blog, Judith. There is much to ponder on. “The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.”

What I found really resonated with me about this post was that if we make it about people, connecting to them then the complications disappear. Whenever I make it about an issue, emotion or control, what develops is a greater divide – a them versus us and it feels so tense. I can see as you said when we make it about connection, to ourselves and others we shift the quality of our relationship from one of doing to one of being.

The responsibility you take for yourself so that you can bring all of you to your job is very inspiring. There is no end to your “job” as how you live affects your job. I love how you are committed to flow and quality rather than being task orientated. So often at work I find it hard to not just stay focused on the tasks as they are what need to be done. I love what you have offered up as I have been feeling this for a while but have not acted. Thank you.

Its easy to get caught in the “what needs to be done” and go into overwhelm rather than connecting and staying with self first and then connecting with others. You must be an amazing person to work with Judith as it seems you have really found your feet in this role.

What an inspiring article. I love the way you express how true leadership is a balance between your own acts of self care and self love and then allowing those qualities to be read by your colleagues. I get a real sense of the inspiration this offers them in your writing. I also love how you indicate how focussing on pressure serves only to increase the pressure and the placing of focus on things rather than people. These ideas would revolutionise our workplaces were they adopted wholesale.

Thank you Judith. I relate to what you are expressing about the way you lead. I know if I am working in-charge, I see myself in a support role for my colleagues. I am their to assist them to make the job they do easier. I don’t take over and encourage them to do what they can, I keep myself available for them to. Its a very enjoyable way to work in-charge.

Its so true Judith that when someone gets met they feel great. And I love this line…’When people feel great, they are naturally more productive, they are more motivated, they get more done and they are naturally fast, because there is nothing in the way.’

We underestimate how powerful, stopping to smile and to connect to others is. I presented in a workshop a couple of years ago when a young man came up to me in the break and said, ‘do you really think that I am equal to everyone else here?’ I loved his honesty and the joy when I responded, ‘absolutely’. He shared that he had never thought of himself as equal and it had changed his life to consider himself so! Simple and so profound.

Who gets so overwhelmed by what needs to be done, that they loose sight of the team/staff who are actually there to support them? You can’t see me but I have not just one but both my hands up because I can go into overwhelm like 1,2,3 when I forget that life is nothing to do with what I do but all about people.

Amazing isn’t it that when we focus on allowing as you say Judith, all the things that ‘need to be done’ flow in a more harmonious way. When I trust myself and am clear about the energy I bring, my relationship with others and the work I do shifts from being hard to do into something inspiring. In a way we are all chief executives of our own co-ordination.

In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen, whether their name tag reads ‘Manager’ or ‘Shop Assistant’. I love the way you have reflected on your work Judith and gradually come to understand and to live what you express here. This gradual learning makes it real ~ cleaning and tidying are as equal as doing the so called important jobs. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience.

So true Bernadette that there is actually honour in every job and that the ‘importance’ of a job has not any meaning at all when we allow ourselves to be in full and are able to inspire all others by this reflection being the same, because they are. In fact not any job is more important than another as we do not need the recognition of it. All jobs just need to be done in order to let things flow as they naturally have to flow as being part of a greater rhythm we live in and are part off.

“I am more open to connect with others because there are fewer things on my mind”. This is the link for what I see can be the otherwise confusion that can present in the workplace. The responsibility to lead by example of being connected is so simple yet elusive if making less than loving choices. Thanks Judith

I agree Benkt. I read this slightly cringing remembering how I managed colleagues in past roles and just how haywire things went when I made it about tasks not people. And now I can see that this still plays out in certain situation in both my personal and work life. When I make life about getting things done I feel exhausted and empty. When I make life about connection I feel grand.

AHA! And there lies the question, ‘am I willing to truly take the lead’…Such an awesome question that should absolutely be asked in every interview. I love how simply you have broken down what taking the lead really means. Everything comes back to the quality in which we live. You’re doing an awesome job of leading the way Judith!

Making it about people and connection, beautiful. The less we do, the more we can be. And the more we can be, and allow ourselves to be, the more others can just be as well. And then, we just all do what needs to be done. Simple.

This is great, Judith. Indeed, it is really “all about people”, isn’t it? I love “if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.” It is so needed in a workplace.

That’s true Judith. We are all leaders in some way regardless of our position or title. When we make it about people in true humility, they respond to that as we all want to feel our equalness with one another.

I too am learning the more I just allow the day to unfold and people to be however they are, the more I am able to be with them instead of trying to fix or manage everything. There is more room for play and fun this way. It’s great.

Awesome blog Judith, very timely as I have just been interviewed for a managerial role in my current workplace. I will be leading a team of people in customer service role, very inspiring to read your blog, I especially loved this line, as I do feel ready to take the lead –
Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?

Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?

I can really relate to what you are saying, Judith. I am a team leader and feel to empower all the team to lead at different times. I have learnt how disempowering micro managing is and now allow the team lots of flexibility to achieve their own work/ home balance. The rewards for all are immense. But more importantly I bring me to work with an awareness of how I am feeling each day. I reflect on how I express and connect to those around me and if I “stuff up” I am honest about it with the team. We are constantly evolving!!

Absolutely Judith! I was struck by your words ‘The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.’. Lots of wisdom here and for me, a reminder to monitor myself closely for when I slip over into the ‘doing’, ‘trying’ and ‘controlling’ momentums rather than allowing the flow of what is naturally there within all of us.

This is a really beautiful blog that makes me feel that work is just the same as family life, or a social life and that they all roll into one. I specifically liked this part “The less I do and the more I allow myself to be…….” The sentence could be finished in so so many different ways like; ….I don’t get exhausted…..I feel more relaxed and calm in my day…..I don’t need recognition….things flow more easily….time stands still….I enjoy people more deeply…. and so on and so on. I’ve spent over 30 years of my life investing and committing solidly in getting recognition, which is all about doing. It’s been hard to break this mould, but I love the inspiration from this blog of feeling that this is all that really matters and this will allow everything to get done in an amazing quality and standard any way!

Judith, there is much in your article that I enjoyed reading. Particularly ‘the less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team’. Fabulous article for the real person in the real world. Thank you.

Interesting what is posted in this blog: “My position is therefore more about my being a leader and a role model, and not so much about taking charge, giving orders or doing all the ‘important’ jobs”.
The other day I had the insight that leadership could be completely different from what I always thought it was. It cannot be true that I experience a burden when having the lead. I feel I use this reasoning to avoid taking the lead when I have to. By holding on to this belief that having the lead is a burden to me, I am holding back myself and as a consequence making myself less and do not provide the quality of service I could deliver.
Leadership is not about ‘being in charge’ because for me that makes it a burden and stops me form being playful and in full connection with the people I work with, which is most important in my work. As you so clearly say Judith, work is about people first and not about things ar tasks to be done, and to be a role model in the way we live our lives and taking the lead wherever this is required.

wonderful Blog Judith. I found so many points in here to be amazing. Its so beautiful to experience just ‘being’ in a job and allowing others to be themselves as well. I have been learning to hear what others are saying, because I used to always control situations. But I was just avoiding truly connecting with that person, now I let them in 😀

I love this blog and especially love this sentence “I have made it my everyday commitment to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work” and also how you said you look for the part of people that love to have fun and be playful. That’s it, isn’t it! I am writing this as I am about to prepare to go to work for the day and reading this felt so supportive.

An inspiration blog, thank you Judith for sharing your experiences and wisdom
“The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways”
I just love what you have expressed here.

Thaks Judith for this very important blog. The impact of our stressed-out, disconnected, disempowered ’workforce’ (awful word) is, amongst other things, strangling humanity. What you’ve shared about how to be at work extends way beyond the office into every personal interaction. I’ve noticed the same when I be me, really meet people, loving eyes to loving eyes, letting each other in. When I’ve been in a leadership role I find it goes beautifully when instead of leading in the old ‘doing’ way you describe, I live role model-ness. I basically ‘lead from behind’ by empowering other people to find their natural confidence, clarity and truth. It is not an intellectual decision to do this; it flows naturally when I choose to be myself. Then people leap forwards, enthusiastic and on track with their task, and often end up exceeding everyone’s expectations including their own!

This is a great blog on leadership that should be part of any leadership course. I have been struggling with leadership as well and your blog has given me some practical tools to be a ‘better’, more playful leader. I loved your statement “I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people” That is brilliant. One of things that made me run into trouble was that I made it about the things to be done, whether it had to do with customers or employees. I will definitely will come back to this blog. Thanks Judith for putting it out in the world.

Great blog. ‘I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.’ Judith I find this so true of any situation whether work, family or community. The more I make my life about people, the more I find relationships and situations flow so easily. When things start to get a little hard or disruptive I always stop to look back to where I lost the focus on people.

Great article. For me its about letting go of expectations or perceived outcomes and just connecting with people on a day to day basis. Its also about letting go and allowing myself to shine and not getting bogged down by to do lists. Its about being more playful and not getting to serious because thats when my magic dwindles.

Judith, I really like the playfulness that you have brought in to the work place and especially with such an important highly pressured role. Even though I am not in a similar position at work, I can still see from your example, how important I am as a role model and what a responsibility this is – but not to be taken with doom and gloom, rather with a lightness and fun.

I love this blog Judith – it is the second time I have read it and it is a great reminder. What i took from it this time was: “I do a lot of the odd jobs, that people don’t like doing, like cleaning, tidying, etc. I do what needs to be done to have things flow.” I will take this into my week and to enjoy being with me no matter what there is to be done.

Yes Marcia, I found this sentence resonated with me… it felt great in my body. It amazes me how we take on ideals and beliefs that are not true eg. I have taken on the belief that leaders don’t do work such as cleaning, tidying etc! Judith’s blog wipes that ideal out and it is awesome to feel the equality and the simplicity in this super inspiring blog.

“The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways” – This is Gold Judith. How often do we make our work about the task at hand and lose sight of all the people involved with it. Yet life is all about people!

I love this blog Judith – I can relate to so much of what you present here. I can get really exhausted when I go into overdrive to get work done, and in doing this I forget myself and the people that I am serving in the process – not great for me or anyone else I am dealing with either! It really is all about people, and I can hardly think of any job which is not about people in some way – time to start leading by way of example!

Hi Judith, I am so pleased to have come across your article. I have just started a new job role which has the title ‘leader’ in it. You offer so many pearls of wisdom and practical advice that will support me to go forward with confidence. I feel great appreciation for you ‘leading the way’. Thank you.

Thank you Judith, you have highlighted some very important aspects of our working lives – that we are a living example and that it is more about the people than it is about the task. I am inspired by your story.

Hi Judith…I loved how I felt the change in you as you moved through your sharing. A gorgeous transmutation from the hard, edgy, trying of ‘doing’ in a role that felt more about ‘getting it done’ to a true leader, bringing love to the equation and reflecting your new role of ‘Coordinator of People First to Bring Harmony for All’. From brittle to Yummy. Gorgeous!

I love this line Judith “I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.” This is so true, keeping things simple and meeting people are two of my keys to life.

That is a great question to end your blog: “Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?” Then it comes down to commitment and taking responsibility to be that role model each and every day in every moment that you work. Not only work of course.

‘The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.’ Simply inspirational Judith. There is much for me to ponder and learn from here.

Love it, this blog has stirred the pot for me…some things for me to look at (without beating myself up!)
I started off reflecting on how I had been in a previous leadership role…not a pretty picture!
I now have the opportunity to lead in a Loving, simple way through all that I do…as, yes!, there are always people watching!

Thank you Judith for this inspiring account of a day in the life of your everyday. It has been beautiful to find the fun and sparkle, as you so aptly put it, in not only my own life be it at work or not, but in those around me. I can concur it being the outcome of making the commitment each day to take responsibility for truly caring for who it is I take to work or anywhere – a gorgeous shining light to lead the way.

This is such a supportive blog for anyone taking a leading role in any part of their life. We have ideals about how a leader should be like, what they do and how they behave. I am finding my way with leading at work and I am realising that it’s not about the doing but more of a holding and bringing the team together so each person can be full. It also feels amazing to step back, let people shine with their abilities and not need to be the one who does it all. There is so much more to explore here … my head doesn’t get it because of the old ideals about leadership but I am enjoying getting to know what true leadership really feels like.

I have enjoyed reading your comment Fiona. It sounds like your have discovered a new and true way of being and not only benefits you but also the people you are leading. This really stands out for me ” I am enjoying getting to know what true leadership really feels like”.

Make life all about the people and suddenly every role and every task can have a whole lot more purpose with a whole lot more joy and respect. Make life about the roles or the tasks and suddenly that true joy and purpose is masked with complications and struggles. How we choose to work is up to us.

Judith, I have recently started a new job and this has been such an amazing reminder to be all of me, but to allow others to be where they are at too. Know and trust, plus connect with people, not to get caught up in the ‘doing’.

Loved to re-read your blog this morning Judith, which is just filled with sparkling gems…
What stood out for me was the playfull little girl in you, looking to connect and bring out the playfulness in others…. because: ‘ everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun’. So very true Judith, and what an inspiration you are, I will take this into my day to have more fun and play with others seems a great way to live each day!

I have always respected those in positions of authority who I feel show others the care and respect they deserve, rather than focus solely on what is or isn’t being done. I’ve noticed the authoritarian way creates so much unnecessary stress and tension. By making life about people and love first we create a space where harmony and ease can be.

This is such a different way of being a leader – leading by inspiration rather than through power and control. I am currently on a Leadership and Team Leadership course and will take your blog as inspiration on how I can be at work. I may even share it with the trainer on my course. Thank you Judith.

Judith re-reading this a second time, this line struck deep within me “I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them”. This is amazing and so true. Thank you for the reminder Judith we really have nothing to hide when being ourselves.

Judith I also find in my teaching of young children that if I make it about getting through something, getting something done our day becomes difficult, pressured and I end up in frustration. If I make it all about connecting with the children, parents, staff and being totally there with them and for them the day flows. We get through what we need to, and if we don’t there is another opportunity when the time is right. We have fun together and are cohesive, loving being with each other. I feel very responsible as I know without a doubt how the day goes for us all is directly influenced by what I am focussing on – people or things.

I have both managed and been managed in work.
Learning to manage is very delicate. It requires a very respectful stance that honours the fact that people do know what needs to be done. It is really very much like being a family member, a mixture of support, guidance and firmness that allows people to develop their full potential. It is, as you have described Judith, about inspiration, not from words but from the way we live – and not just in the office.
Having been managed, and seeing others being managed, I know that it is far too common to see people being ordered about, controlled, dictated to, and all too often crushed.
For most people, their natural abilities are not nurtured at all and so we have a workforce that is operating nowhere near its full potential, and a large number of very unhappy people, just getting by form day-to-day, hanging for Friday afternoon drinks and the weekend.
You live such a different way Judith. that really is a blessing and in fact a healing opportunity for all around you when you consider that most of our waking life is spent at work.

“I feel one of my major downfalls when I took on the job was that I got so overwhelmed by what needed to be done, I lost sight of the team/staff who were actually there to support me in my task. ” I find this too, as soon as I allow myself to feel pressured I feel unsteady and if I don’t steady myself back I go into overwhelm. I too forget that there are others there for support, we are all equal and together as a team and can allow space for play too. Great blog.

I loved rereading your blog Judith ; I loved feeling the wisdom you presented.
“I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people”.
This is such a simple statement with such a powerful message for leaders

Judith, I can relate to your blog in so many ways within the home. I dont work in the workplace but at home with children I am the leader, the role model and it is ever present to me that it is all about me. Whenever I am not taking loving care of me this shows through my children. I particularly love when you say that you when you allow yourself to be the more things flow. If I allow myself to be at home then the children also are able to just be and the home is a lot more calm and in rhythm.

Oh Judith – your blog was perfect medicine for me this morning – I am day 4 of a new job – my first in a management role where I am accountable to the managing director, staff and customers. It feels great to have taken the lead in this role and relate so much to what you have written here especially about it not being about me and connecting to people. I could let this job overwhelm me but there is a deep commitment from within me to trust in my capacity – first and foremost to hold myself and then to attend to what needs attending to – or as you so rightly mentioned to delegate to other staff and oversee that everything keeps its flow. Thank you

Ah awesome Judith. It’s so true, make it about the person and naturally it all works. When we know the people we are with we know the best way they work and what their strengths are and as a leader this is a great thing to know because then we can trust that the work we give them is suitable. I have also noted that you’ve got to walk the walk as well and not just talk the talk, which sounds like exactly what you are doing. I know I tend to be more cooperative and comparable with my supervisor within the workplace when I can relate to them.

A lovely look at what it can mean to manage people, as you say “So it is ALL about me – never about me being accepted and recognised – but about me being a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way.” I also like what you say about being a ‘role model’, it allows the for people to express themselves and have more responsibility. I have managed people in work. How I did in the past was indeed feeling like I in a ‘sandwich’ and yes I tried to control everything, so much tension. I now take the role model approach, I live my life in a more supportive way for everyone involved. A complete change is occurring but still lots to learn. Thank you for sharing.

Hello Judith, what a great simple article that could be rolled out as a training manual for all working people. This sentence is pretty much everything, “I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.” So make it about people and that ‘people’ includes yourself and the rest flows from there. This is certainly my experience and so simply and powerfully put Judith, thank you.

Hi Judith, I like the part when you say about anyone who takes responsibility for their life and well being will stand out. This makes the whole group about working together regardless of the roles or salary grades each individual may have. As a team therefore each person is just as important as the next, so every one has an equal responsibility for what they bring. And you bring this by the way you are a role model and a great leader.

Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead? I love this line Judith, it point’s out that if we choose to step up we can lead many, and as you have pointed out, lead in a loving way where people are met. Your workplace shows how we can apply being a role model to all parts of our life.

Kim I was thinking the same thing about that fact that we can be a leader and a role model in every single area of our lives. I was pondering how it would be at home to not bark so many orders at the family and to focus more on them as people.

Very inspirational Judith, and full of so much wisdom that I will take with me tomorrow when I go to work; especially these words: “‘I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.” This is definitely going to be my theme for tomorrow and for the week. Looking forward to seeing what unfolds.

These are such great points Judith, about making relationships at work about the people and then allowing from that things to get done, rather than making it about the doing and the complication that arises in the relationship from that.
Also when we make it about people, we of course are challenged to deepen our relationship with ourselves. This is an ongoing process, which brings the truth that we all capable of such depth and beauty and joy, including in the work place!

I have seen this occur within my life “What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.” I used to push for what I felt was true and right in the past, it is hard work, I felt exhausted often and low because I did not feel understood. Learning not to push or try and control situations, but instead just express myself has prompted a huge transformation in my life.

An inspiring article Judith. “The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways”. This is a beautiful understanding of making all we do about people – including ourselves.

Thank you Judith. So often we find ourselves under pressure, going into drive as a result. But we need to ask ourselves where is this pressure truly coming from? When I reflect on this question for myself, the pressure is usually coming from me and an underlying belief that I am in some way not enough, but is this true? What you have shared is really powerful and demonstrates that there could be an easier way that actually feels more fun and harmonious and if we just let go and chose our natural way of being we would find this flow. Definitely inspiring!

I love your blog Judith.
Me working as a manager , you invite me with your writing to go to really enjoy making it very simpel, just bring me and not the pressure of the doing and controlling, so others can be them and naturally the best comes out of everybody.
Thank you.

I love this Judith – ‘And everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun. When I meet someone I look for this part – sometimes it takes a little while to uncover it, but it makes my day when I suddenly see the sparkle in someone’s eyes or a smile appear on their face.’ – this is such a beautiful honoring of the equality that we can live as we are all indeed of the same love. Brotherhood in action – a beautiful reflection Judith, thank you.

Judith, this is one fantastic blog, as I read it today I felt as it was describing me, though I am one of the directors I feel I am sandwiched between the other directors, customers and staff. I can completely relate to everything you share and the pressures that are felt. I agree the less I try and control situations, the more I allow myself to be, which allows me to connect to people. As people feel listened to and appreciated, they are more likely to have a good day and in return give their best. As a leader it does really come down to acceptance of self and others, accepting self first which creates space to accept others. This is one of the main things of being a leader. It is about how we sleep, how we prepare for work, how we eat to support our self for work and how we conduct our selves at work. All of this counts and is felt by everyone.

Judith, I like the way you have taken responsibility for your part and empowered others to do theirs. And the appreciation for others and what they bring. It feels like a team environment that is respectful and harmonious.

Yes agree Judith, everyone is dual leader-follower, they have the same level of relevance and importance, and this can really only be embraced when things like job titles, positions, seniority, years in the job, education, are no longer used as being ways in which to be identified by and so create senses of worth, importance or value. Because what you share, is that true worth and value – is actually the way a person lives (with deep care, consideration, respect and love), and it’s this that is the leadership, not the title, or anything else external to this. I have found at work myself, and also in my job of Recruitment, that a true leader, or leadership, is actually about knowing, living, and working the truth of equalness – with all, and oneself, to evaporate any otherwise notions of one-up-man-ship, ‘lowliness’ or arrogance about ‘what we do’. Leadership is just living love, it knows how to behave, direct or lead – naturally.

Since I have been in positions of leadership and responsibility myself, I can truly appreciate what you said about controlling and avoiding at all cost the pressure and counter pressure. Going this way makes impossible building a relationship and turns it about ‘civilised’ body wrestling.

I like this talk of not countering pressure with more pressure. It just doesn’t ever really work. Being the higher vibration, or bringing greater understanding and loving wisdom will trump aggression any day in the work environment.

The way leaders are taught to lead in the world is based on control, drive, force and imposition rather than from equalness and self-responsibility. It does not come from seeing that there is a way of being and living which we need to be, not just for ourselves, but for everyone. To be a role model from this place is to inspire others rather control them. What is called for is to be more than what the world tells us we are and live from the love we are inside us, managing from the inside out.

I really enjoyed reading this and could relate to a lot of what you have shared. Sometimes when we go into a leadership role there can be many pictures of how we need to be in that and when we take those on it can make it a real challenge. I have heard many people who go into these positions try to work out what ‘their’ management style is. I love what you have shared about giving people the space to step up and also you not controlling and being prepared to do whatever is needed.

Hi Kristy, you raise an interesting point about the leadership ‘role’ that can be played by leaders – based on ‘pictures’ of how we think we need to be when we are leading. What I have observed about great leaders that I know in my life today is how steady and consistent they are – and that comes from a deep relationship and self honesty that they have with themselves. From this the know who they are, and in that they understand in any given moment how best to lead to enable those they are leading to be their best. They are also humble and able to follow at any given moment too.

What a cracker blog Judith. I loved every word and can relate to it all. I manage a small but very dynamic admin team and find myself in the control seat barking orders, which is not like me at all. At times I am so hard and tense and void of compassion and connection that I just want to run away! There is much inspiration in your work experience Judith and I loved this revelation…
‘The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.’

I like what you’ve said that leadership is less about giving orders but more about making sure everyone who is in the team is met and cared for, so they can express themselves in the workplace. Thats a great way to get people to do their job 😀

Judith it was easy to feel how the way that you are being sets up changes in the environment around you, not just when you are connected to yourself and allowing things to flow but also when you are more involved in trying to control your environment and the movement of others.

Where to start! What an amazing blog Judith, this makes being an shop coordinator fun. I love how you make it about people and not about the things that need to be done: “I have found that if people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. When people feel great, they are naturally more productive, they are more motivated, they get more done and they are naturally fast, because there is nothing in the way.” this is so true. If I reflect on myself, I do a lot more when I feel appreciated than when I feel I am not doing a good job and have to constantly improve.

I agree Lieke – “I have found that if people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. The key to work is relationships, and people and not processes, rules, systems, technology (although these can help). As Judith says in this article – all relationships start with our own relationship with ourselves. This is foundational to work and life and something that could be in all curriculums for education, college, and vocational training at work.

I love your entire blog Judith, but what stands out for me is the sentence “My position is therefore more about my being a leader and a role model, and not so much about taking charge, giving orders or doing all the ‘important’ jobs.” I find it so inspiring when the “leader” is doing all types of jobs, not only the important ones. Then the leader is really a role model.

Making it about people first, and that includes ourselves, rather than the system or profit. This is great. Connecting with everyone as an equal, then no-one feels controlled. I love the simplicity and the fun that can then be had. Appreciation is also key.

Insightful and inspiring Judith, thank you. This outlines precisely the true meaning of leadership. To start with ourself, taking responsibility to deeply care for how it is we are living, naturally brings this to all we do, lighting the way for all.

I agree Judith- it is about people not things or tasks and when we make it about people they naturally “step up” to reach their potential. I “lead ” a team as well but find that I don’t really have to lead as the team members are fully responsible for what they do, I do not micro manage them, we are family friendly and there is a lot of flexibility in the way we work. But mostly I look after myself inside and out and encourage the team in a similar way. It is a joy to go to work!!

This is lovely Anne. The fact you that full responsibility for yourself first enables you to truly take responsibility when managing but also truly leading your team. You cannot truly lead a team without taking full responsibility for yourself first too.

A very timely reminder for me today Judith. I have just had a challenging day at work and managed to lose myself along the way. Your blog has inspired me to come back to myself, take responsibility for the struggle i put myself in and begin to prepare lovingly for tomorrow right now. I too have felt the flow when I stop trying to control everything at work. Thank you for the reminder.

Judith, what a thought provoking blog. It’s not about us, but it is, just not in the way we think – I love that, it’s about showing how we can be us at work and be playful and have fun with it, no need to push or try. I love the analogy you give, about it not being about meeting pressure with pressure but allowing the space for all to sparkle. It really turns the idea of being right or the last word on it’s head, and is one I will play with more in my day work and otherwise.

The root of the word inspire comes from to Breathe, and what better way to lead people then to be in one’s breath, feeling the connection with one’s inner self that comes from that, and from that connection feeling the oneness with humanity, and from that oneness seeing that there is no separation, and then together doing whatever needs to be done.

I am realising more than ever the impact it has on my work and my environment when I don’t feel great. It is very true that when we feel amazing we work more efficiently and openly connect with others. When my head is clear, I am present and I get on with what is there in front of me effortlessly.

This is a truly inspiring blog about managing, and in fact about living, because as you so profoundly state at the end of your article: “Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?”

Judith, I often think of this post as it has inspired me no end to remember that being a leader and role model is about really holding and claiming our position by bringing everything we’ve got to our role, whatever that might be and is not necessarily about being the boss or giving orders. With this I have found that I have stepped up in my own work role; being more willing to be all that I can be and not shirk from hard work. I also find that when we are focussed, not just on the task at hand, but are alert to what is going on around us in the workplace, we get to understand our colleagues much more. This can be very supportive and enhance relationships, as just noticing that someone may not be themselves on a particular day and asking them about it can make all the difference and bring some warmth back into any workplace.

What is shared here is so valuable Judith as it demonstrates that by taking responsibility for yourself as you do it means that this gives everyone the opportunity to grow and work harmoniously in a team. This will without a doubt lead the way, that is lead others to take responsibility for themselves too if they choose. An inspiring way to work! Thank you.

This is so awesome. I can relate this to my experience as a teacher..”What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.” In class sometimes I come in feeling like I have to run it, ENTERTAIN, HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. However I find if I just connect to me first then the students, usually the class runs itself and so do the students. They tend to know exactly what to do and feel the freedom to make suggestions as to what they feel would best serve and support them. It always feels so fulfilling after experiencing a class like this. I call it teaching the class backwards in order to move forward. I find for teachers there can be an over preoccupation on the LESSON PLAN. In my experience of teaching for over 14 yrs the best classes hands down have always been the ones I taught backwards where the students contributed through offering open participation and suggestions to the plan and it fully unfolded by the end of the class as a revelation to us all.
That is when I feel leadership is also seen in it’s best light, as we realise everyone is the leader and everyone’s contribution is valuable.

I love what you write here Irena, about teaching the class ‘backwards’ after first connecting with everyone, the freedom in that and the inclusiveness, and the inevitable revelation when many contribute. What a way to learn and everyone has the opportunity to lead and be truly heard.

Awesome sharing Irene….. so simple the message you deliver, connect to self first, then all else unfolds easily and effortlessly simply because your reflection of connection allows others the space to connect to themselves too…. beautiful!

Thank you for sharing your experiences on the work floor Judith. I am sure we can all benefit from this reminder that it is not about doing but about allowing yourself to be. By letting go of the control we also give others the opportunity to just be instead of pressuring them into trying to be. Sounds like parenthood actually.

While I was reading your blog, which I believe is of great support to us all, I recognized similar patterns in parenting. Sometimes when I get caught up in everything that has to be done I forget to support my children in developing their own unique way to find solutions and deal with situations instead of pressuring them into doing things my way. We should support each other to express no matter what age and no matter what position we hold, because we are all equal.

Thank you for sharing Judith, I can really relate to the thankless job of being a sandwich between the owners, the customers, and the staff. You can’t please all you can only do what is true and that is what leaves nobody as less.

Beautiful sharing Judith. Smiling as I read ‘How to make it fun’ Every time I bring that fun, joyful part of me out into the open it cuts seriousness and overwhelm. I can feel it so I know that those around me can too. No matter what job we take on big or small.

The power we possess to make a difference in the world, regardless of the role we have, is quite extraordinary should we just choose to step into it and be and reflect everything we are and show others what is possible.

All of us are role models in the way we live and the quality we bring to everyone we interact with, from our families to the person we meet in the street. The way we conduct ourselves speaks louder than any words or false roles we play, as others feel and notice the true presence and quality in the way we live.

Judith a really great blog to read, I love watching bosses who are not frighted to get stuck in, or think a job is beneath them. I have always felt if you allow someone to run with something they are good at, it works out ok, because we are all good at different things, and when people feel appreciated you get paid back in gold.

What a fabulous blog Judith! Thank you. I cringe when I see how I have taken on all the responsibility, trying to do it all myself and getting lost in this, forgetting the people along the way. I loved reading about how you have delegated tasks and enjoy doing what needs to be done to have things flow, like the cleaning and tidying. And how you recognized that it was all about you, how you bring yourself to the day and to the people in your day, being available to them because of the presence you bring. It doesn’t have to be hard and it certainly can be playful ☺

Making it about people in every moment and not about what needs to be done is something I will take with me from this blog and into my day. It is one of those reminders which have such a truth within them because making it about people allows an opening, a spaciousness in my life.

When we make it about people first instead of tasks and what needs to be done, people feel and appreciate this and in this appreciation the work gets done and more….. it is the connection that people crave the most, thus within the connection everyone’s contribution is valued and is equally important, which provides the space and openness to support each other.

Judith you have re-written the belief we all had of what makes a good leader. The ideal leader is painted with such control and having their life all sorted. We often see that this is not the truth. When you walk into a workspace and the leader is not seen it shows how everyone is held with such equality and how often each person in the team will lead in different ways to support the group and the work that needs to be done. Your blog shows us another way.

I can feel from re-reading this again Judith that what gets us most is the need and desire to want to change something that we cannot – that is trying to control how another is when all we need to do is simply let them be.

I totally agree Josh and learning to let go of this need to control has been one of my greatest challenges in my everyday, but I am finding that by accepting us all for exactly where we are at including myself is vital to this.

This is a beautiful blog and just leaves me smiling, great words ” everyone, no matter how they behave has a part in them that loves to play and have fun.” I love that your husband absolutely adores you.

You have so beautifully highlighted that everything fundamentally comes down to self-responsibility. I can now look back and see that control and blame was my way of going through the pressure at work place, and how much more pressure I put onto myself and all around me, and how joy-less that was. I can now understand even though it looked like I was very committed to my job at the time, the truth is that I was never committed to myself to take that ‘me’ out in the world to connect and appreciate what/who was around me.

That’s the nub of it, being willing to take us out there in the world and be open with everyone. I can feel in what Judith shares her joy in sharing herself with people and exploring how she can be with them and share her with them. It feels very simple, no complication or need to be recognised, just doing what needs to be done, and the biggest part of that is taking care of how we are and the quality we are.

When we make life about our connection with people our lives are enriched in enormous ways. It is great to read about your work with being a woman and caring for yourself within your role at work. For a long time I felt I had to opt out of so many things to preserve how I wanted to feel within myself. It is great to know and to put into practice, that we can be ourselves and full of care, in the world.

Such a pleasure and a delight to read this Judith, there as so many gems of wisdom and it is clear you have found the true way to lead and to support and do what is needed because you are making it about people first without leaving yourself out of the equation….. and that all your self-care and preparation before work truly supports you, ‘in being a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way’. So Inspiring Judith!

I agree jacqmcfadden04 no reason fun need be kept for away from the workplace, the joy for us all to feel and have in our living way naturally is as result of the care and nurture we take of ourselves.

The role of the leader can make us feel stuck as we go into the ‘doing role” rather than the supporting role. A true leader supports others to bring out the amazing qualities that each person brings so that the work can be completed with detailed care. Everyone has a part to play when piecing the picture together.

Judith what you have highlighted to me in your wonderful blog is that leadership qualities are inside all of us and they start with us simply learning to let others in and in allowing ourselves to be who we naturally are. Beautiful – thank you!

This is brilliant Judith. When people feel great, it is so true that the things we do reflect this greatness, naturally. So what you are offering here is a powerful tip on being a great leader or role model at work. That by valuing all staff equally, by appreciating the greatness that they bring to work, inspires a work culture that is based on trust, respect and inspiration. Imagine then the quality of work that is shared with society.

Wow Judith, you have really found a leadership style that works, I can feel your commitment to make it work, and make it fun. We all know that trying to fight and control situations is hard work for everyone. Everyone is more productive when they feel great so it makes sense to make work about people and clear anything that stops their natural way coming through.

This is such a great and insightful blog Judith. It has shown me so clearly how in the past I used to get caught up in trying to control situations and feeling overwhelmed at times both at work and also when being a wife and mother of 3 children and running the family home. It is exhausting just thinking about it!

And this is absolute gold ‘What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.’

Such a great sharing, Judith. Connection to other team members is the key and allowing them to grow to their potential creates a committed workforce. When we try and control staff and keep them less, staff dissatisfaction increases.

I do agree Anne, the connection to people is the way to be as we have to work as a team and to have space for exploring our individual expression in that. And for me too, an important part of having the leaders role is as Judith shares ‘ to do what needs to be done to have things flow’.

Judith I have come to understand the truth in what you have said, if we treat people with care and respect and they feel appreciated they will work joyfully and quicker than if they feel undervalued. This makes a lot of sense and also is my experience particularly if I am the worker, appreciation means so much especially in volunteer work.

I love what you’ve written Judith, especially your last sentence ‘ … are you willing to truly take the lead?’. I’ve often squirmed in my seat in the workplace, holding back the natural feelings of what needs to be done and said because a) I don’t want to stand out b) I’ve viewed it as not my place and c) I’ve felt resentful that I have to do it! BUT those days are long gone. Through the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I see it as my duty to – do what needs to be done at work – whether it be reporting a repair, asking a question, stepping in if a colleague is away – even the team manager or expressing my feelings if something doesn’t feel right rather than going along with it. When I don’t, it builds up resentment which is not healthy for me or the team. Everyone benefits as a result – as one person taking responsibility and doing what’s needed really inspires others. That’s how we build a team.

Its so true Judith… Just last weekend there was a group of us singing together in new Zealand, and the group was asked to feel that each one of them were responsible for leading the group, for inspiring everyone else…. Boy did the sound and energy change… its is such a great feeling.

Its true Chris, we are all leaders in our own way, and in our own way we are all responsible for inspiring everyone else. But, when we express all our various qualities and that inspiration responsibly and collectively for a common purpose, sparks can literally fly.

True – we are all role models and as I was reading I was considering how often I let this understanding slip in the busyness of the day: it can become secondary to getting the task done. So thank you Judith for the reminder of the very important role we each play and the place we have in the bigger scheme of things.

Yes Helen, it seems so much easier to fly under the radar and hide behind others, staying in their shadow, but truly we need role models in this world that lead and show a different way to be and live – so why don’t we take the responsibility to be this for everyone and start building on that right now?

Judith you make some great points here in relation to work. I am always having to remind myself to make my job about people first and not about getting the deal or being in competition with anyone – not easy in sales and it does take practise. With competition and targets getting in the way its easy to forget to be playful – thank you for the reminder.

Yes, the “job” tends to suck us into a certain attitude that is the norm or common for that kind of work, what ever that work is, it really takes a different choice to make it playful and fun and we cannot remind each other enough of it.

True leading comes from an appreciation that we all have qualities and although these qualities may vary in flavours and expressions, they all come from the same well of wisdom and are made to complement each other.

I love how you share Judith that ‘Whenever I stop focusing on what needs to be done, demanding this of the staff, and start instead to focus more on the person – connecting with them, making sure they are in sync with everybody else – the more they get done in a shorter amount of time’. When we don’t connect to and appreciate others strengths and qualities we can easily focus on their imperfections and weaknesses – when coming from this how can you not but feel the overwhelm of what needs to be done. Behaving like this is unproductive, a waste of energy for us all and only creates more obstacles to the synchronicity and potential purpose we all have of working together in harmony.

The great leaders are ones who not only understand people and know them but who also role-model ways of operating through everything they do, say and reflect. I love the way you take your responsibility as leader right back to basics – to you. ‘…it is about my commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me.’ From there you have the strength of personal foundation to role model how people can be at work ‘ a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way.’ Authentic, true and lived.

Yes, this truly is the key Simon Williams, if we do not live it we cannot truly inspire another to go for it, but when we are a living, breathing example of what we are talking about, there is a lot there for others to live up to.

“In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen”. I’m discovering more and more the importance of this responsibility and the continual commitment to re-new this commitment to myself. Is a level reached where I can ‘rest a while’, thinking I’ve done enough? Responsibility and commitment are continuously evolving and it’s my choice to keep up so I can live my life with the all that I am, and not some diluted half hearted version that will get me by for the day as this reflects onto everyone around me.

Great point Sandra Williamson, to stop and think we have achieved or done enough does not work – as the planet keeps spinning we too need to keep up with the advancements that are on offer and develop ourselves further in accordance to the greater workings of the universe.

I love this blog Judith, the fun you make your work can be felt in your words. Feeling someone within the workplace; be it customer, colleague, owner, truly connect with me allows me to also meet them equally in that, likewise when I truly connect to another in the workplace this invites them to also meet me in that connection. What I have found though that no matter how anyone I come into contact with is with me, it is for me to continue to be me and connect with them irrespective of whether they choose to meet me in that or not.

Judith, I can completely relate to the comment, “I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.” If ever I change the focus from the people to the task, everything changes, including the people! Ultimately we are here on earth with billions of other people, they came first, before all the things, and all the things to do. They are the chicken and the egg all rolled into one, and such our relationship with ourselves and others needs to be the priority, everything else will just fall into place, being supported by the relationships we share.

I can totally relate to what you share Judith about getting ‘so overwhelmed by what is needed to be done, I lost sight of the team/staff who were actually there to support me’. Just like you I have realised that the more we all support each other and work in sync to complement each other the more efficient and productive any workplace is.

Reading your blog Judith, is awesome as it shows how vital is the relationship we have with ourselves first, and how this has direct transference onto the relationships around us and the interactions we have with people.

It is clear from your blog Judith the difference in quality it can be when we make life more about us than equally everyone and everything. It seems as though the power is in making it less about us and more about making it about the whole.

Yes, Joshua, this really is a key ingredient for me, the moment I make it about me, my awareness of things narrows down to me, whereas when I allow myself to expand and feel everyone, my awareness expands with that movement.

I find it interesting how we may not always express ourselves in the same ways as different leaders will have different ideas on what is best, but in this there can be a collective purpose. So no one person needs to be in charge all the time as everyone has their contribution to add, it just depends on the situation and what is required for everyone to move on to the next step. A great leader can facilitate this kind of equality.

Very interesting point Shami… there are many different ways to lead, subtly different from the next. This is because leaders are individuals… people, and so we all have a different mix of qualities that we can bring. When we allow ourselves to simply be who we are, then the example we set is uniquely our own, but the common ground is that this can allow another to also be themselves.

I love your blog Judith, as you reveal how women are natural leaders when it comes from a foundation of simply allowing the grace and strength a woman naturally possesses to lead the way. There’s no competing, proving, hardening or driven ways, but simply by developing the expression of woman brings a well needed balance to the male style leadership within a work environment. As you shared, it is possible… ” to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work… and how to make it fun”

So true Johanne, it is innate and very natural in a woman’s body to take the lead, which is simply her allowing to be in rhythm with the natural cycles of the universe and holding everyone within her love equally so.

“The less I do and the more I allow myself to be.” This line is pure magic Judith. This is truly a key to everything in life. By taking the pressure away from ourselves and the doing, it allows us to simply be us. Pure and simple living right there from us all.

Leadership is a funny thing… and like you Judith, my initial response is to try and control everything. That can never work, as things grow there is simply too much going on and it stifles other people, their creativity and their expression. However, as the leader you are responsible for it all… so holding the balance between the responsibility and everything that needs to be done is the key and this can be done by feeling. Feeling how the place is, feeling how the people are, feeling in my body what is actually going on in the business.

“When people feel great, they are naturally more productive, they are more motivated, they get more done and they are naturally fast, because there is nothing in the way.” This is so true and something that I have noticed in myself. The more that I enjoy my work and am not stuck in the stress or emotions of it, then I can glide through the day effortlessly, appreciating all the connections I am having with colleagues and getting so much more done without the feeling of being exhausted at the end of the day. This doesn’t happen every day, but it is becoming more of a norm for me, which is to be appreciated.

I can relate to this feeling Eleanor, “,…then I can glide through the day effortlessly, appreciating all the connections I am having…”. This feeling is something I definitely need to claim more and make it my everyday normal, it is a great foundation to have and I let it slip far too often.

“So if it is about me, then it is about everything I do” This really is a good point to make. You can’t be unloving or abusive in one situation without it affecting all areas of your life. What I am learning more and more is that life can’t be compartmentalised like I used to think it could. So to carry an open loving quality with you at work means that we need to aim to carry that quality in everything we do.

What you share here is amazing Judith. It turns around the way leading positions are often seen as a very hard job, with lots of responsibilities that seem heavy and a duty. Your way of leadership feels light when you said: “In fact, I have given a lot of the ‘important’ jobs to other staff members and they do them so well that it sometimes looks like I am not needed at all.” and that it is all about being responsible through the way you are living with yourself and all around you. We can have so many pictures of how certain job roles should be that we might miss out on this lightness and easy flow that you present here when doing things together in this way.

It’s so supportive to revisit this blog – and also a great confirmation and marker for me as the last time I read it, I was bogged down in the ‘doing’ of my job, choosing to be overwhelmed quite often and certainly living on nervous energy for much of the time. Exhausting. I feel very different these days, I still manage a team in what sounds like a very similar situation to you Judith, but I am focusing on the quality I bring to my work and not the results so much. Still creeps in so plenty of work to do, but I can feel how I am now offering inspiration to others and not just joining in with the struggle so many of us identify with.

People clock role models and we all role-model something. The thing to ask though, is whether we’re taking responsibility for what we’re role-modelling to others. This blog shows how we can take that responsibility, by some simple choices about the way we’re living.

What a revelation: being proficient at our job is not just about honing our skills. I can see how looking at life in parts, thinking one part is not related to/affected by the rest is a cause of our lack of irresponsibility that would form a platform we operate from in every aspect.

When we don’t make what we do about people we lose the focus and humanness to what we are doing. This is most unfortunate as it is actually this humanness that imprints the quality of our love and commitment we innately and equally have for all others and brings all that we do alive.

Judith this is a very pertinent article for me to read as I have stepped into a new role, which is a leadership role. I can see how I have been making the role about the role and what needs doing and not necessarily about my colleagues. It’s really exposing how I have made previous jobs about the things that have needed to be done. Making sure everyone is met is key, what anyone else does with this is their own responsibility.

Judith, I love how you keep bringing this back to ‘it’s all about ME,’ and not in the way that can often be seen to be selfish, self-serving, and recognition-seeking. You show that having it be all about self is actually about taking responsibility for yourself in every way possible. This is huge, and turns the concept of putting self first on its head.

‘Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?’ Do I take the responsibility all the way or do I just my bit and leave it there for others as then this is not my business. What I feel is we are all in it together and the responsibility never leaves us, and I can only say I am learning to express myself and to be a leader and a role model.

I have recently been promoted and have responsibility for leading a team at work. It’s great to read your article Judith, since I am still finding my way with the role. One big lesson I have learnt is that I don’t have to ‘do it all’ to be a leader.

I deliberately chose to stay away from leadership roles for many years because I equated them with having more to do, and being stressed. Many leaders I have encountered fit this idea. However I have come across other leaders who have been relaxed, inspiring, and encouraging while still getting the job done. When you make work (and life) all about the tasks, people get forgotten. I like how you have made your role about relationships, including the one with yourself.

‘I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.’ Very true Judith, I too have found deepening the level of appreciation for myself makes it easier to truly appreciate and accept others.

Beautiful Judith. How w live our lives in every moment affect every other moment. If I stay up late or eat foods I shouldn’t, then the next day I suffer the consequences. But it not only me that has to suffer the consequences, all of my colleagues, customers, family members and housemate suffer too. There is much to be done in life and the quality of how this is done is hugely affected when we are not responsible in the way we live. It may sound boring to eat well and go to bed early, but I far prefer that as it means more often than not and without perfection, I have a flowing, beautiful day of connection with me and others as opposed to a day where I am irritable, tired and wanting to be elsewhere.

I struggle to make it about people and not about getting things done, but I know what happens when I do make it about people – things are so much more productive it is almost miraculous and as if you enter a time warp. I make the choice to make it about connection and people and then I get so wowed at what gets done that I focus on that and get hooked back into doing doing doing all over again. It’s a work in progress…

Once we realise that everything counts and that no role is less and how we are in everything we do counts, then we are all are leaders. It is the smallest of details which may be considered insignificant that reflect the light which shows others the way. Thanks Judith for sharing the foundation that makes a difference in leadership and confirming it is up to us all to live this and not leave it up to others.

“What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.” This is pure gold and is something any management training program would do well to incorporate into their course. For me I have noticed that when I stop worrying about the outcomes and how I am being perceived by others, everything flows and there is an equality within the team that just evaporates when I try to control what’s going on.

“Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model.” – I agree here but would go further: we are always leading and inspiriting others – in the one or other way. If I hold back, I inspire others in holding back…and so on. To take the responsibility we carry starts with us and how we live. How do we ‘lead’ our own life? My ‘success’ here is what I can offer to others.

‘Make it about people.’ The phrase that has to be lived to be truly understood.
– The moment I see a chair not as a chair but something, someone will sit on
– The moment I build not a house, but a home for a family
– The moment I realized that the products I sell are not ‘good money’ for the shop, but a blessing for the person who did buy it
This are the moments when ‘success’ is already there in full, and not has to be achieved anymore.

Working in leadership I can relate to this article and have found the more I offer the staff I work with the potential to bring their skills and natural abilities to fruition their commitment and dedication to the job increases. There is no limit to the level of care and time they take to complete the job. The key here is appreciating and valuing what they bring and how we all play a part in the whole. Never forgetting a good mix of fun and laughter as well!

Every work task can get done with ease when people are put first. I’ve moved into a more supervisor role at work recently and the main priority is how my colleagues are and listening and feeling into what they are saying, to whether they need more support, understanding or a break from what they are doing. It’s amazing the difference appreciation in the work place makes to the overall flow of business.

When you choose to live with the responsibility necessary to be a living example of how things are to be done, it is deeply supportive for those who work with you as they get guided in a way that brings their true potential to the fore as well.

This is the best leadership strategy that I have heard in a long time – “I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.”

“…it is about my commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me.” When we are truly present we emanate an authority that can inspire those around us. Staying with my body and not jumping into my head makes all the difference.

Judith your words ‘The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out.’ I have found the less I try to control something, and the more I am natural myself the easier everything becomes.

‘I have found that if people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. ‘ This is gold in my experience. Understanding the true value of meeting and appreciating people works wonders and whilst we all go to work to earn a living and that is important – feeling connected with and appreciated adds so much more to our days. To me, a manager or leader – or even an organisation that practices appreciation for its staff and customers is very likely to thrive.

Ha! Good question…are we willing to stand up and take the lead. There have been times when I’ve said yes to responsibility and other times where I’ve wanted someone else to take over so that I don’t have to be responsible. In doing this I keep myself small and avoid appreciating my contribution.

Being a leader does not mean having to do it all. That’s what I used to think, but my observations of good leaders are far from that. I love how you make the focus about connecting to people rather than it being all about the tasks, and of course if you start with connecting to and looking after yourself first, that connection to others will come as a natural consequence.

Connection and not control is the key to true harmony and our ability to work with each other and not against each other. It also is a lot of fun and lightens the load we otherwise carry when we forget to connect with those around us. However, when we lose connection to ourselves and thus to the Universal order and symphony that we are otherwise naturally in tune with, we sense the loss and in this space we panic and seek to control our environment. Somewhere along the line we as humans in this dis-connected state took the play out of work and thus began the seeming ‘hum drudgery’ of life – an endless slog of ticking boxes and trying to crawl through the day to get to the ‘good stuff’ at the end of it, which is not good at all but merely distractions we have set up to not feel the ill way we are choosing to live. As a friendly reminder for us all – it is ok to have fun at work…I would even go so far as to say it should be compulsory! Connection is the key.

What an incredible blog about true leadership. I kept feeling how I would love to be managed in the way you describe here but I can also see that if I manage myself in this way I am absolutely looked after and so are my colleagues.

This is very interesting and makes so much sense, a valuable sharing, ‘Whenever I stop focussing on what needs to be done, demanding this of the staff, and start instead to focus more on the person – connecting with them, making sure they are in sync with everybody else – the more they get done in a shorter amount of time.’

We underestimate the influence we have on those around us and often do not step up to the level of responsibility that is naturally inherent. When we allow ourselves to be and act naturally from this place we can bring so much care and life to the workplace. This is a great blog showing us how the stereotypical ways of working are not in any way helpful or supportive and that coming from the way Judith shares can bring a complete turnaround to the workplace and make it more productive and fun and even enjoyable – and the more we take care of ourselves the more we take care of our work.

‘What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.’ The more we try to control, the less we actually control because all we are doing is managing what is going on, and when we allow ourselves to let go, understand one another the easier it is and a great example to others too.

‘I have made it my everyday commitment to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work… and how to make it fun.’ I love this line, work provides us a platform upon which we can evolve and grow so rapidly, all it takes is some dedication and some exploration as to what’s on offer.

A great reminder of when we truly make it about people life and jobs gets easier, they flow and it becomes far more enjoyable for all. For me this is the sign of a great leader ‘in fact, I have given a lot of the ‘important’ jobs to other staff members and they do them so well that it sometimes looks like I am not needed at all. I do a lot of the odd jobs, that people don’t like doing, like cleaning, tidying, etc. I do what needs to be done to have things flow.’

I definitely relate to getting caught up at times in the ‘doing’ of life and not staying with my ‘being’. As you say it is so important to appreciate others and see that how we choose to be has a huge effect on others around us and in a team.

Great article Judith. Connecting and appreciating each other truly makes everything flow very naturally. This as you share here, begins with our relationship with ourselves. True role modelling by reflection. No matter what our title we have the opportunity to be true leaders.

I hadn’t wanted to take responsibility for the fact that wherever I go people look at me all of the time, I am a focal point. I am still in the old mind set that no one can see me, because I’m not doing anything to be seen, I’m tip toeing around in life.
But actually I stand out like a belisha beacon and always have done, so it makes sense to be just be who I am, so that others can get to feel who they are, it’s all very simple really 🙂

Before we are a role at work, we are people first, and I love this sharing as it confirms the importance of how we can make it about people and therefore have relationships that really support everyone in a business. And i agree – when I make it about people first, it brings it back to what is important and what counts.

In committing to your own self-care you are modelling how to live in a connected way and with this there is an ease and flow that allows for greater productivity but also fun and playfulness – what an awesome way to live and work.

Thank you Judith you share beautifully its about being a natural leader, doing what needs to be done and living by example, being a role model. I have similar responsibilities and its a constant working on self and deepening. I find the more I work on me the more I am able to reflect and inspire, the more everyone around me goes to a deeper level too.

It has been very timely reading this blog again. I am considering applying for a new position at work and this blog is a great reminder that its not all out how much I can get done or how many things I know. relationships, starting firstly with the one with me is a great place to start in preparation for writing my application.

Judith it makes sense to me that when we make business about connecting to people and caring for people first that everything flows. This is what we all innately need, to be met and valued for who we are first. Not having that must create an awful disharmony and hence a lack of flow.

When we make our work/life about truly connecting with people, our natural leadership qualities are revealed and comes out when it is needed. We all have this quality and when we are given the space to be who we are, we naturally know when it is our time to lead.

Thank you Judith, what you have expressed here is a true, powerful and wise message for us all;
“The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways”.

Great article thank you Judith for sharing, that work is all about people and our loving connection to ourselves first and then to others, this reflection shows in more openness and playfulness in the workplace, and greater productivity.

We are all role models and leaders I agree but ‘we are all’ is important. That would mean everyone is the same equally or has the same opportunity and whether some choose it or not isn’t something to change or to try and change but more accept and understand. We should appreciate our part and what we see while at the same time not think we need to do something. The animal kingdom bring us something strongly in work ethic and how even to run a business. They all make it about energy first, not running team or having fun or focusing on this or that, they make it much much bigger then that all the time, no rest or holiday in this part. Everything they do has a plan, a big plan that considers everything. They listen to the cycles and rhythms around them and adhere to those first and from there do what they do. We often do what we do and then make it a little better while sprinkling it with an honouring of the energy around us. It’s easy to make things look better at this point but are we truly calling things back? Life is a cycle and we cycle around the sun and seasons cycle, with all these cycles around us why do we think we are in control? First and foremost should be the deep honouring of the cycle/rhythm or energy that we feel, a deep connection to it and from there we can do anything but it comes from this place.

I love what you share here Ray and how we can make life about cycles and rhythms! We compartmentalise life too much, separate it into work time and play time, etc. and label some as bad time and other as good, already setting ourselves up how we will feel instead of just enjoying the lot as a one whole great experience, moment by moment.

Judith, this is a great reminder, ‘So it is ALL about me – never about me being accepted and recognised – but about me being a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way.’ I have noticed that if I get serious and there is no playfulness then work can feel hard and I am not role modelling how to work lovingly, it is great to have this reminder.

So true Rebecca “if I get serious and there is no playfulness then work can feel hard and I am not role modelling how to work lovingly” and the thing is also that when I caught in that, I start to expect and demand that from others too! Double whammy. My input is always contributing to the whole place going one way or another.

I used to weigh my good days by how much I got right and how I was recognised by my boss – now a good day is how I have maintained and deepened my connection with myself and how I expressed all of myself that day.

This is great. We think work is about getting the work done that is assigned to us but what you show is that the rest of our life plays into that too. How prepared, in the sense of how well taken care of, am I coming to work so I am in a body that is willing and capable of doing the tasks that need to be done.

Beautifully said sister, you are taking work and in fact life to a whole other level of responsibility, where everything I do, what I eat, how I prepare myself for sleep, how I walk and talk will determine how I feel and what my capacity is to do what needs to be done. I can only start to imagine what a powerful and productive work force we could be if we lived life like that, I am confident that shifting mountains or building a pyramid, as a matter of fact, would be no problem.

Good point Esther, all of life is one, so how we are in one aspect of life will and does affect all the other aspects, so it is about developing a consistency in all areas and realising that how we are in our lowest area of life is what we bring to all the other areas.

Being appreciated in the workplace, for who we are first and the great work we do goes a long way in confirming and building a solid foundation of the qualities that will produce a harmonious working environment, which then naturally flows on to offering great service to customers or clientele from staff that enjoy being at work.

This blog is timely Judith when I am about to return to work after being away overseas for a few weeks and had a sense of dread of what I was going into.

This statement ‘I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people’ – is a huge revelation for me as this is something I often got caught up in many a times. When we make it about people and when they are seen and appreciated, there is definitely a different feel about the place.

When we bring care for ourselves at the forefront we bring and reflect that to staff, clients and everyone else – thank you Judith.

This is a wonderful reflection that being a leader is not about being superior, perfect and in control. It is about inspiring, supporting and confirming everyone, and leaving a wake within which each person can step up and be a leader in their own right.

Leading people is a role many think can be learned from a book, but it is not about the strategies, and following instructions, it is about care. A care so deep for yourself and for others, that leading simply becomes about connection.

Beautifully said Heather, it is about the deep care for oneself and others.
I have observed how deeply people do care but don’t show it and rather complain about the job and demonstrate an attitude that they don’t care, just because they feel saver that way to not get hurt.

Thank you Judith, I love how you share that being a leader is about seeing and bringing out the fun, play and sparkle in someone and that the work flows from this. That it is about being a role model from your own way of living as you inspiringly are.

“In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen, whether their name tag reads ‘Manager’ or ‘Shop Assistant’.” It’s true, anyone can be a leader, we lead by the choices we make and the principles we stand by. Our willingness to lead is simply our willingness to choose to not enjoin what we know in the world is not right and to live everyday in way we know is true for us.

I have been a retail manager for many years and one of the first things I always connect with are the people I have around me. Meeting all of your staff and getting to know them and who they are, has been one of the most beautiful gifts in my working career and has also seen some beautiful friendships with staff and customers alike. Without people there would be no business so business is primarily about people and when we connect together and work as one amazing things can happen. We can learn so much from each other too.

You sound like a great leader Judith! I love how you’ve made it about you first, ensuring you are steady within yourself, and then you confirm that with all the people you manage or interact with reminding them that they are equally awesome.

Sometimes it is almost like as role models in our workplaces we can in any given moment play for either of 2 teams, one with integrity that works for the team and one who plays only for themselves and compromises the integrity of the whole team.

Letting go of pictures of how life needs to be creates a space in our bodies, that communicate trust in others that life is full wonderment when we choose to connect to that which is true within ourselves.

Judith thank you, I really enjoyed reading this again today and found it very practical. A great line “I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.” This is easy to do, as there is much to do, but making people and our relationships first supports workers to feel held, appreciated and cared for. And as you say, they can then get on with doing what’s there to be done more easily.