Do you know how

to spot a liar?

Only you can answer those questions for yourself and it comes down to your beliefs and values. For me, I think most people tell a little white lie every now and then and it usually causes no harm.

So how do you know if someone is lying to you? It’s great to understand and know the signs of a liar, especially when you have children as we all know kids never ever lie to their parents – do they? It is fun to watch for the signs but as this isn’t an exact science so don’t make rash accusations if you suspect someone is lying to you.

There are many ways to spot a liar and it would take me forever to go through them. So here are the most popular ways to spot a liar:

1. Touching of the face. It is ok to touch your face but continuous gestures made towards the face is a way to spot a liar. If you think the person you are talking with is lying, keep asking questions and watch how often their hands moves to the face area. A nervous liar will almost have their hand on their face the entire time. The only exception to face touching is when a person slightly touches their chin as this usually means they are honest and actually really interested in what you are talking about.

Did you know Bill Clinton touched his face 88 times when being questioned about Monica Lewinsky?

2. Watch the hand gestures. Many people talk using their hands but when you are trying to spot a liar, watch carefully how they are using their hand movements.

Hands clenched – a sign of dishonesty

Arms folded in front of body – a sign of protecting yourself and being dishonest

Hands tightly in pockets – a sign of dishonesty or being annoyed

Hands on hips – usually telling the truth but getting angry

picking fake dirt off clothes – usually a sign to spot a liar

palms open – usually telling the truth

palms open but excessively flapping around – a good liar so watch out for this one

3. Watch their eyes. Eyes are the door to the soul and watching how the eyes react naturally in a conversation is very interesting. A good liar may be able to control these eye movements initially but after a long period of time, they forget about controlling eyes as they are concentrating on the story. So you need to know your left and rights here when trying to spot a liar.

Looking to the RIGHT – this is a good sign that the person is telling the truth and either thinking about the story or trying to visualise what the conversation is about.

Looking to the LEFT (upwards) – creating the lie and picturing it in their head.

Looking to the LEFT (sideways) – creating the lie and verbally working out the story

Looking to the left (downwards) – thinking about what they actually did and whether it is worth lying about.

4. Rate and the pattern of speech. When a person is telling a lie, often their breathing begins to change, increasing as the lie gets bigger and bigger. Also, the speed at which a person who is telling a lie alters – this can either speed up dramatically or slow down to give the liar a chance to work out the story.

5. Eye contact. Like I said before, eyes are the door to the soul or your subconscious and many people who are telling you a lie, cannot look you in the eye.

Avoiding eye contact is a sign of a JUNIOR liar and one that is not experienced with telling lies (often little children).

However, an experienced liar has overcome this problem and actually looks you in the eye to the point it can be uncomfortable. Pathological liars can look you in the eye over 70% of the time without hesitating, whereas in a normal conversation people give eye contact around 50% of the time.

Excessive blinking can take over the eye contact and usually a sign of a liar who is struggling with the story.

If I followed the above I think almost everyone would appear to be a liar! I think this would only work if you knew the person well enough to know their body language habits when they weren’t lying so you could pick the differences.

I’m going to say the only people I will ever watch for lying, will be my children. I much prefer to take everyone on face value. I feel if they feel the need to lie to me there must be a reason, and it certainly has little to do with me. I can see how it could be important to spot a liar, in my experience they nearly always expose themselves.

I have come across a couple of excellent liars (one lives in my house). Mostly though, it’s not hard to spot. Usually you can seem them trying to formulate the lie, so I remind them that honesty will be better than the double consequences that lying brings. Normally that puts a stop to that attempt.

How do you spot liars online though? That’s the question. In person, I don’t try to read someone’s body language to see if they are lying, I just hope they are telling me the truth. Maybe that’s naïve? Dealing with my children and if they lie is important to respond to though I think.

The eye contact one can be tricky as many people (particularly those on the autism spectrum) have difficulty in making and maintaining eye contact so it may look like they are being shifty when in fact they find it impossibly difficult to look others in the eye. Human behaviour and body language is fascinating – I’ve always loved shows like Lie to Me, The Mentalist and Bull for that reason!

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I am proud to support beyondblue as a member of the Speakers Bureau, sharing my story to increase awareness and understanding of anxiety and depression in Australia and to reduce the associated stigma. beyondblue’s vision is for all people in Australia to achieve their best possible mental health. You can learn more about anxiety, depression and suicide prevention by visiting beyondblue’s website or contacting their Support Service. www.beyondblue.org.au / 1300 22 4636