3. Chapter 3: Pain

"Nessie do you think that your mother and I have always been together? After we fell in love I mean?" Edward asked with pain in his voice.

"Of course," she said. "Why?"

"That's not true," Edward said. "There was one point in time where I thought Bella would be better off with out me. So I left; how I left was convincing her I didn't love her anymore. Even though I did love her."

"Nessie how you feel now is the exact way I felt when Edward left. But do you want to know the difference?" I asked as I interrupted Edward.

"Yes," she replied.

"The differnce is that Edward promised that I would never see him and his family again. You know Jacob is coming back. I didn’t know if Edward was ever coming back. I hoped and dreamed but I knew that it was no use.”

“As I was leaving Bella I knew I was leaving the only person I loved and the only person I ever will love,” Edward paused at the memory of when he was saying ‘good-bye’. “After I left her she started hanging out with the person who would be her soul mate in a world without mythical creatures. Unfortunately that person turned out to be a werewolf...I mean shape-shifter.

“One day Bella jumped of a cliff,” Edward continued.

“Will anyone let me forget that?” I grimaced.

Edward ignored my question and went on with the story. “Alice saw her do this and told Rosalie that Bella had died. Rosalie then told me that Bella had died. I thought that she had killed her self because she was still in love with me and she couldn’t stand the pain and I felt guilty. So I went to the Volturi and asked to die. Even though I felt guilty that wasn’t the reason I asked to die. (The reason I asked to die was because I thought Bella was dead. If I had stayed with her and she died I would go to the Volturi and ask to die like I did). When the Volturi refused I deiced to go out into the sun on Saint Marcus day. Alice went to see if Bella really was dead and she wasn’t. Alice then saw that I was going to ask the Volturi to die. Bella and Alice got on a plane to stop me from killing myself. Bella slammed in to me right before I went into the sun. Alice then came and told me that Bella did jump of a cliff and that she was into the extreme sports. She also told me that Victoria came back for her and that Bella had werewolf friends. We then had to face the Volturi, because Bella was a human who spelled to good and new to much. I was the one who was holding everyone up because I didn’t say that I was going to change her. When Alice promised that we were going to give Bella immortality they let us go. On the plane ride home Bella and I didn’t talk. But when we got to Bella’s house I told her the truth. I told her that I really did love her. And that I had lied to her when I was saying good-bye because I wanted her to be human.”

“Wait who was your other soul mate?” Nessie asked turning to me. Her own problems forgotten.

“Jacob was my other soul mate,” I answered.

“My Jacob?” she asked stunned.

“Yes your Jacob,” I said.

“I still don’t get why you left,” she said.

“I left because I thought it would be better for her to be with someone who wasn’t a vampire, but someone who was human not a werewolf,” Edward said. "I mean shape-shifter."

“Did you ever question your choice mom?” Nessie asked.

“What choice?” I asked.

“The choice of dad instead of Jacob,” she said.

“No because I knew that even though I loved Jacob that I loved Edward more. And look what I got because of choosing Edward,” I said gesturing toward her “I got you. The most precious thing to me now.” Well next to Edward.

“Did you ever wonder what your life would be like with Jacob though?”

“I have wondered about what my life would be like if I chose Jacob. But all I know is what my life would be like if I chose Edward. And even though we go through tough times, like now, I know I’ll always love my life in the end.”

“What was it like when you weren’t with dad?” she asked off topic.

“When Edward was gone I was like a robot. I ate, slept, and went to school. When Edward left a part of me left with him. No not a part of me. It was more like my soul died, my body was still a live but my soul and heart were dead. I was not able to breath for a long time. I could only breathe when Jacob was around. I wasn’t sure then why. But I know why now.”

“Why could you only breathe when Jacob was around?”

“Because Jacob helped me keep my self from thinking to much of Edward. When I thought of Edward I felt pain in my chest physically and mentally. I felt as if someone ripped a hole in my chest. I thought that the hole would never heal but it did.”

“How did it heal?”

“It healed because Edward told me he really did love me and that he lied when he was telling me ‘good-bye’. He also told me that I did a better job at surviving then he did,” Edward glared at me. “He curled up in to a ball and let the misery take him in to a depression stage,” I said with a grin. That was my way of getting back at him about the cliff part of the story.

“When we reunited it was the best thing that happed in that time of fear,” Edward said.“What fear?” Nessie asked. We never told her about the time before Edward proposed the first time. Now she was to eager to know.

“The fear that we were going to die. The fear that I would be placed in a different world than Bella when we died.”

“It’s hard to talk about it,” she said. It wasn’t a question it was a statement. She could tell we haven’t visited these memories in a long time.

“Not as hard as it used to be,” I responded to her statement. But she didn’t know how hard it was just to think it let alone tell her about my personal dark ages.

Nessie yawed.

“Now that you know Jacob’s safe get some sleep. Okay,” I said.

“Okay,” she said with a little yawn.

She went to her room and climbed into bed without Jacob for the second time.

The next morning Nessie slept in later than usual. I started to worry. Last night Edward and I had been a little preoccupied with other… things… Was Nessie gone? Did she go missing like the others? I started to think the worst.

“Morning,” Nessie said as she walked out of her room.

I sighed with relief.

“I feel huge,” she said as she looked at her stomach “I thought it would be a few months till I started to look like this. Not a few days.”

“You’re not pregnant with a regular baby. This baby’s special,” Edward said. “Let’s get you to the house so Carlisle can take a look at you.” Good he was being supportive.

"Okay."

We tried to run back to the house. Nessie had to stop now and then because of the morning sickness. We finally got to the house.

“Carlisle,” Edward called softly.

Carlisle was already coming down stares buttoning his shirt.

“Nessie,” Carlisle said in surprise.

Renesmee’s hand clamped over her mouth and she ran for the bathroom.

“Sorry,” she said when she came back.

“Renesmee don’t apologize. Your pregnant it’s bound to happen. And we need to get test done so we can find out what the fetus wants,” Carlisle said.

“It’s like Bella pregnant all over again,” Rosalie mumbled.

I hadn’t realized she came in. The whole family was there.

“Did Jacob ever come back?” Esme asked.

“Yes. Claire and Rachel, Kim and Emily, and all the rest are gone,” I responded “Jacob says to make sure Nessie’s not alone for a seconded.”

“All of them?” Emmett asked.

“Yeah all of them, except Renesmee. Their out looking for them as we speak. Jacob said he won’t be back for a few days.”

“Alice can you try to watch Renesmee’s every step?” Edward asked.

“I’ll try. She’s harder to see then humans but easier then werewolves...shape-shifters,” Alice said with doubt in her voice.

“Nessie, you’re huge,” Emmett said starring at Nessie’s stomach.

“Thanks a lot Uncle Emmett,” she cried.

“Emmett she’s alittle sensitive right now,” Carlisle said.

“A little?” Emmett rolled his eyes.

“Okay. A lot.”

“Why?”

“Hormones,” Carlisle said calmly.

“Disgusting.”

“Oh. Come on!” I rolled my eyes “If Rosalie was pregnant you wouldn’t think it’s disgusting,” I said to him.

“I would think it’s disgusting, even if Rosalie was pregnant.”

“Who you are you trying to convince Emmett? You wouldn’t think it’s disgusting if Rose was pregnant,” Edward said. “You can’t lie to me,” Edward tapped his head. “I would now the truth if you lied.”

“Shut-up,” Emmett said quickly.

All of a sudden there was a cracking noise coming from Renesmee’s rib cage right as Jacob walked in. “Ow!!!!” Renesmee screamed.

“Are you okay?” Jacob asked eagerly.

“A crack came from her rib cage and you’re asking if she’s okay,” Edward growled at him.

“Sorry I don’t know how this thing works,” Jacob screamed at him.

“It’s just like when Bella was pregnant,” Edward yelled back.

“Well sorry I don’t have a photographic memory.”

“Would you two stop arguing for a minute please,” Alice yelled. “I’m trying to see and it’s distracting.” Only Alice could get them to shut-up.

Jacob started to shake. “Jasper calm Jacob down now,” I said.

Everyone watched Jacob as the shaking decreased. After a few minuets only his hands were shaking. While Edward and Jacob were quarreling Carlisle took Nessie to his office so he could get x-rays of the break.

“Jacob are you okay?” Nessie asked as she came down the stairs.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah it didn’t hurt that much it just caught me by surprise,” she said. “I didn’t know it would break my ribs.”

“Ribs?” Edward asked. “How many are broken?” he asked through tight lips.

“Two.”

Edward lost it.

“It broke two of your ribs. Nessie your not strong enough for this.” Edward shouted. Jasper and Emmett ran over grabbed Edward before Edward could pounce on Jacob. They took him outside so he could lose it there and not hurt Nessie or Jacob.

“Jacob why did you come back, I thought you were at a search party?” Alice asked changing the subject.

“I was but when they found out Nessie was pregnant they said I could come and check in now and then,” he answered.

“How come?” Nessie asked.

“Sam said that you will only be pregnant for the first time once and I should see you so I don’t miss anything. So if you get pregnant again I know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Jacob, I have a question for you,” Carlisle said.

“Okay.”

“Do you want to be there when Nessie is giving birth?” Carlisle asked.

Jacob looked at him. He probably didn’t think about that.

“I-I-I-I don’t know,” he stuttered.

“You…don’t…know,” Nessie said her voice breaking on ‘know’.

“I want to be there,” he said so Renesmee wouldn’t get affined.

The days dragged on Renesmee was getting test done. Carlisle said that it wouldn’t be long now maybe a few weeks or a few days. No one knows how long it will be. She might give birth tomorrow for all we knew. Jacob dropped in now and then to make sure Renesmee was okay. Edward was feeling better. Tanya’s family was still here trying to help Edward with the transition of Renesmee being pregnant. Everything was fine. The wolves found Emily. Now all they need were the rest and the kidnapper. Emily had given them a full description of what he looked like. So it wouldn’t be long now. Jacob said that they were close to finding him. Everyone couldn’t wait till they found him because it meant that there was one less thing to worry about Nessie for.

The danger I worried about the most was that the Volturi were going to find out Renesmee was pregnant. Would they kill the child if they found out? Would they kill Renesmee? Or would they kill all of us? No one knew. All we could hope for is that they didn’t find out until a few more years. If they found out while Nessie was still pregnant what would happen? Would they decide that Nessie should be killed and with the baby still inside her? How were they going to react when they find out?

The Volturi haven’t come to check on Nessie yet. They most likely would be coming soon to check on her. When they come and Nessie has a child with her what would they think? Would they kill her and the child? Would they kill the packs? The fate of almost everyone rested in an unborn child.