Sunday, November 14, 2004

The next story is a bit dry...but totally kick ass if you think about it.

Put your thinking caps on. Here we go!

From today's NEWSDAY:

"CIA plans to purge its agency - Sources say White House has ordered new chief to eliminate officers
who were disloyal to Bush"

(Yeah! Wait...what?!!)

"CIA plans to purge its agency - Sources say White House has ordered new chief to eliminate officers
who were disloyal to Bush"

(Uh, that...kinda...sucks, right?)

"CIA plans to purge its agency - Sources say White House has ordered new chief to eliminate officers
who were disloyal to Bush"

(...and replace them with officers who will be LOYAL to Bush?)

"CIA plans to purge its agency - Sources say White House has ordered new chief to eliminate officers
who were disloyal to Bush"

(Damn.)

BY KNUT ROYCE
WASHINGTON BUREAU

November 14, 2004

WASHINGTON -- The White House has ordered the new CIA director, Porter Goss, to purge the agency of officers believed to have been disloyal to President George W. Bush or of leaking damaging information to the media about the conduct of the Iraq war and the hunt for Osama bin Laden, according to knowledgeable sources.

"The agency is being purged on instructions from the White House," said a former senior CIA official who maintains close ties to both the agency and to the White House. "Goss was given instructions ... to get rid of those soft leakers and liberal Democrats. The CIA is looked on by the White House as a hotbed of liberals and people who have been obstructing the president's agenda."

(Okay, wait. Hold on a minute. If...if...if the CIA is "looked on by the White House as a HOTBED OF LIBERALS...WE'RE ALL FUCKED. DO YOU HEAR ME?! WE'RE ALL FUCKED!! Keep reading.)

One of the first casualties appears to be Stephen R. Kappes, deputy director of clandestine services, the CIA's most powerful division. The Washington Post reported yesterday that Kappes had tendered his resignation after a confrontation with Goss' chief of staff, Patrick Murray, but at the behest of the White House had agreed to delay his decision till tomorrow.

(Word is that some of the old dudes at the CIA hate Patrick Murray. Gee, I wonder why? Let's skip ahead.)

Another former CIA official who retains good contacts within the agency said that Goss and his top aides, who served on his staff when Goss was chairman of the House intelligence committee, believe the agency had relied too much over the years on liaison work with foreign intelligence agencies and had not done enough to develop its own intelligence collection system.

(Oh, that pesky liason work. Talkin' with FOREIGN intelligence agencies. Dealing with FOREIGN intelligence officers. Attemptin' to get intelligence from people who might know more about stuff than we do. Man, that method has been proven to be SO ineffective.)

"Goss is not a believer in liaison work," said this retired official. But, he said, the CIA's "best intelligence really comes from liaison work. The CIA is simply not going to develop the assets [agents and case officers] that would meet the intelligence requirements."

(I think dude meant to say, "Goss is not a believer in liason work that, uh, fucks with the White House. Or liason work that, uh, proves that, uh, the White house is wrong.")

Tensions between the White House and the CIA have been the talk of the town for at least a year, especially as leaks about the mishandling of the Iraq war have dominated front pages.

(No, really?)

**

Hey, do they have an office over at the CIA where they just...make stuff up?

If they didn't...they're about to get one. ("Get me Porter Goss on the phone!")