Karl Lagerfeld Isn’t “That Human” And Other Krazy Metro Kuotes

As offensive as Karl Lagerfeld’s much-booed quote in yesterday’s Metro about Adele being “a little too fat” may be, we also find his off-kilter, blunt philosophies totally entertaining. Maybe even refreshing. Does he care what we think of him? Of course. Every inch of his image and persona are so carefully crafted that we listen even more closely for some momentary slip, something that would give us a peek at the real man underneath the shades and leather gloves. And all we seem to see so far in the interviews surrounding his guest-editor stint at Metro is yet another carefully crafted layer: Sometimes it’s mean, sometimes insightful, sometimes really wrong, often like my late grandmother or the Dowager Countess of Grantham. Here, for your edification, are our 10 favorite (and usually offensive) Karl Kuotes:

“I look the part. But I’m not that human, hm?”

“I’m not very much interested in [sex]. But it’s not a question of time, people can make quickies, you know.”

“Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.”

“People in magazines are 50% bimbo and 50% pregnant women.”

“Nobody wants Greece to disappear, but they have really disgusting habits –– Italy as well.”

“I’m beyond temptation. I think that’s the best thing that can happen in life.”

“Clothes don’t lie. If you have only clothes in one size and nothing one millimeter bigger, the minute something hurts somewhere, you know it’s time. … I know a woman who every year put on her wedding dress just to see if she can still fit in it. It’s only a problem if you have four or five weddings.”

“When I’m at home alone, I hate voices.”

“Yes, but [pets] die so I don’t like them. The drama is I had two I really liked and after they died I don’t want another one. That’s too depressing.”

“The only thing is I don’t want to be seen dead, huh? So anyway, over, over. The battery is finished, huh, puft.”