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Vin d the approach

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There are a number of men to whom gameseems effortless. They seem to be born with it.Hence the term ‘naturals’. If you have ever met one of these guys, youknow exactly what I mean. You’ll also know theyhave one very distinct thing in common: Their absolute inability to explain anythingthey actually do. It can be very frustrating trying to learn from aguy like that. They have never know what it’s like tonot have game, and therefore don’t know what stepsare necessary to make the transformation: • “Just be cool.” • “Just be yourself.” • “I don’t know, it just kinda happens.” • “Just go over and talk to her!” • “You’re thinking too much.” • “I Just do the first thing that comes to mind.” Copyright 2006 theApproach

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While natural game has always been themost personal, effective and flexible way for attract-ing women, what it was missing was structure. It wasnot readily transferable from one person to the next. When the internet gave birth to the seductioncommunity, guys were able to share their systemsand develop linear models of pickup. Highly reliant on canned material and routines,early seduction methods were only marginally effec-tive in capturing the beliefs necessary to function ona high level. What was created were men who became ro-botic, lifeless, and emotionally inept. You can readall about them in “The Game”. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Recently however, world renowned pickupartist Vin DiCarlo has managed to not only decon-struct the essence of natural game, isolate the mind-sets and beliefs behind it, but he has also created afree-flowing and reproducible structure to go withit. He calls it Structured Natural Game. It has enough structure to be highly effec-tive, but at the same time not enough to becomea straightjacket. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Structured Natural Game is something thatenhances your own personal style, it does not re-quire you to become somebody you are not. You won’t have to sacrifice your current life-style, you won’t have to memorize hours of materialand you won’t have to suffer through the extraordi-nary long learning curve that goes along with thetraditional community teachings. Vin has been teaching this method worldwidefor several years now, and what follows is a startingguide to making that very important transition toStructured Natural Game. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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“I’ve met my share of guys from the com-munity. After and watching them in the field, I haveseen the same exact things over and over. They allrun nearly the exact type of game, and have thesame problems. I am not criticizing other people’s models, I amjust providing a analysis of the EFFECT that thesemodels are having on the bulk of the people I meet.I would estimate about 90% of random communityguys I’ve met fall into this category. Again I emphasize that it is not an inherentflaw in the traditional community models, but morehow people are interpreting these models, alongwith other factors related to societal conditioning. This article will serve to help transition thosepeople who are interested from a “nerd-like” enter-tainment frame to a smooth natural approach whichis inherently more seductive and effective particu-larly in endgame. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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1. The Two Fundamental Elements Re-quired for Conscious and Deliberate Pickup. Any active pickup where the man decides whohe wants, approaches her and consciously movesthe interaction to sex requires only two things. They are: 1. Strong and unwavering belief that the girl wants him. 2. An interactive context which can lead to isolation. The great part about this is that any contextwill work. This represents the differences betweenall of the methods you see here in the community. Be it Gunwitch with his strong rapport as-sumption and ordinary conversation, or be itMystery’s routines which fit into a precise and lin-ear system. They are both just interactive contextswhich can lead to isolation. The true firepower,however is the set of beliefs driving the context. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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The reason why there is so much focus on con-text, is because it is something that can be learnedquickly. It’s very easy to learn a few jokes and tella few stories and memorize a few openers. Internalizing good beliefs on the other hand,usually takes months or even years. So you willsee some gurus telling us to ignore the belief / in-ner game stuff and just develop a strong context. While it may be beneficial to develop a reallystrong context, we must take care that our execu-tion of techniques isn’t inhibiting the growth ofgood beliefs or installing limiting ones. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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The fastest route to mastery is to continue de-veloping strong beliefs and at the same time be-come familiar with a variety of contexts — get alot of experience under your belt. Adopt a really great inner game program, andthen go into the field and work your techniques.Learn to handle as many tough situations as pos-sible - large sets, daytime isolation, male competi-tion, direct approaches, etc. Realize it can take quite some time before yourbeliefs make a significant enough change suchthat you achieve the kind of success you’re reallyafter. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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2. Technique, Focus, Beliefs and how theyare related. On the most superficial level, we have tech-niques. A technique is something that you say ordo while interacting with a woman. We all have agreat deal of conscious control over which tech-niques we use. On the flipside, techniques are theleast effective part of who you are and quite use-less without the deeper level foci and beliefs. At the very deepest level, we have our beliefs.Beliefs determine your reality, and are shaped byyour identity. Unlike techniques, we have very lit-tle conscious control over our beliefs. They are sofar below the surface of our awareness that it isnearly impossible to change them at will. There are probably Zen monks who can con-sciously affect their beliefs on command, but thenagain, those guys aren’t trying to learn to pick upwomen on the internet—to the best of myknowledge, anyway. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Now what most people ignore, is the focus be-hind the techniques. This is the frame throughwhich we deliver our techniques. A focus deter-mines the internal dialogue that you experiencethroughout the pickup. A focus can be applied toa group of techniques, and a group of foci iswhat makes up a belief. A person can assign a focus to each group oftechniques. It simplifies your pickup by redirect-ing your attention. Instead of remembering 20different technical details, you just have one men-tal focus. Foci are easier to change than beliefs, but notas easy to learn as techniques. Exerting consciouscontrol over your focus is the most effective wayto affect your inner game, since it is in direct con-tact with your belief system. Example of a focus: Take the cocky line “Whoa, pointy shoes!They’re nice, but I feel sorry for the little elf youstole them from, who’s now running around bare-foot.” Copyright 2006 theApproach

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You can deliver the line with the focus “She’shot so I have to show her I’m indifferent / notimpressed by her, so she thinks I’m better thanher.” -or- You can deliver the line with the focus “I careabout this woman, I’m enjoying the interaction,and I am joking with her to make her laugh andfeel good.” Obviously the latter is more effective, as theformer will come off insecure. Despite the factthat you are saying the same words, because youare using two different states of mind, you’ll gettwo dramatically different results. Not only willyour results be worse, but carrying the former fo-cus around will only do harm to your belief sys-tem. It presupposes LOWER VALUE and lack ofattraction. No good. The end goal is to change your beliefs, sincethey will ultimately have the greatest effect onyour game. Simple repetition of techniques with-out the proper focus or with an incorrect focuswill do damage to your belief system. You needto adopt great foci to insure proper developmentof a belief system. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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3. Paradigm Shift in the Seduction Commu-nity The traditional model in use by the majority ofguys I’ve met is the following: • Assume that girls must be “hooked” in order to be interested in you. (Sometimes true to varying degrees) • Approach with prepared opinion opener de- signed to engage girls, meanwhile feigning disinterest. • Assume since you’re approaching her, she’s automatically more valuable, so… • Go right into story to in order to display higher value, which will generate the attrac- tion which was previously not present. • Continue to tell stories, tease girls until you get clear indication of interest. • Phase shift into “rapport / comfort” which consists of ordinary conversation, dropping the personality she was interested in initially. • Bait her into qualifying herself to you, and no matter what she says, SOI her for that. (This step isn’t so bad) • Isolate and escalate. (This one isn’t either) Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Seven Common Sticking Points in Execu-tion of the Traditional Community Model. Sticking Point #1. Failing to be Situationally Relevant. This covers everything from using cannedopeners without a relevant context to runningstacks of seemingly unrelated material. If you want to use opinion openers either: A. Genuinely care about the topic. -or- B. Make sure it’s obvious that the opinionopener is just an excuse to talk to her. (In thiscase, ask it tongue and cheek and then quicklychange topics) Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Many aspiring pickup artists spend hours andhours online, learning material, preparing a rou-tine stack which is designed to engage girls. When used in the proper way, material can beextremely powerful. But most of the time, itcomes across cheesy, rehearsed and random. It is great to learn a bit about the structure ofstorytelling and basic conversational skills, but todo so without awareness of timing and placementcan be very detrimental. It is critical to learn situational relevance—the laws that govern the flow of conversation anddictate what things make sense socially, to insureyou don’t end up coming across random and un-calibrated. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Canned material appears to work marvelouslybecause it gets new guys into conversations, be-cause now they are actually talking to girlswhereas previously they stood there and did noth-ing, having absolutely zero context. On the other hand, there are a lot of peoplewho do not need that kind of content to be inter-esting to women. When using techniques and routines, you mustcommunicate yourself through the techniques,not hide behind them. Many men got into the game because they hada fear of letting women see the real them. Rou-tines and techniques have become a very conven-ient veil that they could hide behind. Don’t let thishappen. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sticking Point #2. Trying too hard to demonstrate highervalue. The reason why this is detrimental once againgoes back to the focus behind it. Feeling the needto demonstrate higher value is the same feelingthat an average guy has when he starts braggingabout his job or car or girls he’s sleeping with. Sure, you are using a more sophisticated tech-nique, but the mental focus and belief behind it isexactly the same. Never go out of your way to demonstratehigher value. Assume higher value! You’re theman! You have higher value automatically! I tell plenty of stories in set, but I do it for fun,because I’m having fun doing it — not with theintent of “proving myself ” to the girl. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sticking Point #3. Putting much more effort into the interac-tion than the woman. In our model of attraction, we use the termcompliance to mean the work or effort a womanputs forth in the interaction. When a man talks too much, stands while sheis sitting, or even moves around with more energythan her, he his indicating that he is workingharder than she is. This will kill attraction and destroy the possibil-ity of creating a Sexual Power Reversal. Simple things like making her contribute to theinteraction, asking her to physically participate ortaking her to meet his friends will help remedythe situation. It is necessary to at the very least create the illu-sion that he is not working very hard to win herover, and the closer to effortless he can make itappear, the better. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sticking Point #4. Over-reliance on Indicators of Interest. Don’t wait around for predetermined signs thatshe is attracted before feeling good about the in-teraction. A woman’s interest will be based onyour vibe anyway, and if your vibe is dependenton watching for predetermined signs, then youare leaving it up to chance. Remember, one of the two things necessary inpickup is the belief that the girl wants you. It maybe difficult to believe at first but keep remindingyourself of this, and train yourself to see*everything* she does as a good indicator. Is she looking at you when you talk? It’s on. Is she contributing to the conversation? It’s on. Is she standing in your physical proximity? It’s ON! Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sticking Point #5. Dropping the personality that initially at-tracted her as a part of a “phase shift”, mis-takenly thinking it takes X amount of time toattract a woman, or feeling the need to“transition into” X,Y or Z. It sounds like three different points, but reallythey all stem from the same type of beliefs andfocus. They come from leftover society program-ming like “It takes a long time for women to be-come attracted.” or “Men have to earn a woman’sattention and attraction.” If you do actually do well to convey a fun per-sonality to a chick in the first few moments ofmeeting her, such that she is attracted to you, youshould maintain that same fun personality whilegetting to know her better and deepening yourconnection. Intersperse your cocky banter andplayfulness with your rapport. But at all costs, staycongruent and do not become someone else en-tirely. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sticking Point #6. Lack of congruence. Mixing and matchingtechniques. It is not sufficient to be a man. You must be-come an archetype. Women are attracted to archetypes much morethan ordinary. Once you determine what YOU stand for, youmust make every single element of your gamecongruent to that. Everything you do, say, how you dress, yourmannerisms, your techniques should serve to re-inforce that archetype. Any deviation from your identity is a leak inyour game that needs to be fixed. This accounts for why some techniques workfor some people and not others. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sticking Point #7. A complete lack of sexual tension. Since so many guys come from a backgroundof being shy for so long, they are unfamiliar withtheir newfound extroverted behavior. Some will become extroverted to the point offlamboyant, and some will become obsessively‘alpha’ attempting to dominate every interactionwithout awareness of how they are comingacross. This appears clumsy, and ultimately lacking insexuality it is not attractive to women. Sexual tension is defined as “the contrast be-tween a relaxed sexual vibe and the lack ofany overt sexual advances.” In many cases, it is much more effective to“withhold” your game, and let her escalate onyou. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Natural Game. If you’re going to make the transition to naturalgame, start out simple. It takes some getting usedto, and requires attention on a couple of differentlevels. It may seem awkward at first, especially ifyou are use to the traditional indirect game modeldiscussed above. But if you work with it and gaineven just a baseline competence, you will: • Improve your closing rate, avoiding ’sexless frames’ • Reduce your flaking • Focus more on the interaction and enjoy- ing the process • Allow your true attractive personality to bloom • Develop an incredible belief system If you would still prefer an indirect type of ap-proach based on routines and canned material, itwould surely be beneficial to implement thesemindsets anyway, along with correcting all of thepreviously mentioned sticking points. It can donothing but improve your results. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Structured Natural Game :1. Pre-Approach The game starts before you even open your mouth. You should allow women in the venue to observe your Types 1, 2, 3 and 4 value. (Sign up for our free eCourse for more informa- tion on the four types of value)2. Socialize Use the concept of Situational Relevance to socialize with a girl or group of people you find interesting. Use this as a chance to build Compliance and Attainability.3. Game Play a game with her. Use role-playing and playful frames to get her outside of any reality which would prevent the two of you getting to- gether. The vacation frame, old lovers reuniting, and frames involving teamwork are excellent for this. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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4. Sexual Tension Sexual tension is defined as: “The contrast between the presence of a controlled arousal state in the absence of overt physical advances.” Since you are already in a playful frame it is safe for her to start responding to you. Now is the time to build the sexual tension to the point of a Sexual Power Reversal or SPR.5. Compliance Once you have created adequate SPR, logistics and isolation should not be a problem. At this point sex has become more important to the girl than to you. Use this opportunity to lead her to a higher level of isolation.6. Full Close Repeat Steps 4 and 5 until you isolate and have sex with her. As you can see, this is a very simple struc- ture, but it’s effectiveness depends on the mental focus behind each step. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Pre-Approach Focus: The game starts way before you even walk up.A woman’s impression of you is largely deter-mined by what she sees before you open yourmouth - that combined with the impression youmake on her in the first few seconds upon social-izing. People have a tendency to generalize the typeof person you are as fast as possible, which makeseverything in the beginning very influential on theremainder of the interaction. An attractive girl will often size you up basedon your body language, your behaviors andyour interactions with others. Be sure to have the correct mental focus:1. Proactively Socialize Make an active effort to meet new people in the venue.2. Charge the Venue Spread positive energy to other groups in the venue and improve their emotions. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Socialize Focus: When socializing, you are simply learning aboutthe different groups of people who are in thevenue. Use this as an opportunity to see if these arethe type of people whom you would like to in-volve in your life. One of the mistakes guys make in this stage ofthe game is wanting too much from women be-fore even knowing if they are even worth theirtime and effort. Have high standards, and screen people basedon those Be sure to have the correct mental focus:1. Make Connections Find commonalities with people in the group or with the girl of your interest.2. See If People Meet Your Standards Expect more from people and hold them to a high standard of behavior and communication. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Game Focus: Play a game with the girl. Present a playful atti-tude and allow her to join you. If you are going to be humorous or cocky, itmust be done in a very warm and friendly man-ner. Do these things because you care about her andwant her to feel good. Resist the urge to invalidateor one-up her. She should know it’s just teasing, and she willwant to play along. Women pride themselves in how well they canplay a role. Use this to inspire her to become ab-solutely congruent to a role that puts you both onthe same team. You are done showing her your value, and thereis no more need to express to her how cool youare, or what your accomplishments are. If shesees them accidentally, fine, but never do it delib-erately. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Sexual Tension Focus: You must reach a stable and unwavering mentalfocus of controlled arousal. You must not have a desperate or horny vibe.Your controlled arousal should be transmittedthrough your vocal tonality, eye contact, facial ex-pressions and body language. Despite your urges, the key to creating sexualtension is to withhold those urges. Going into an aroused state in the presence of awoman will allow her to reach that arousal state aswell. Since you are not making overt passes at her,she will just assume that she is simply feeling ahigh level of attraction to you. Continue to hold the tension until you reach thepoint where she is the one who is making passes atyou. It is useful to learn the five different types of kino,sexual metaphors, allusions, frames, reward calibrationand body language that really make this conceptwork. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Compliance Focus: Once you have achieved a full Sexual PowerReversal, it should be no problem gettingenough compliance to get her alone and isolatedwith you. Remember, the point of the SPR is to insurethat sex is more important to her than you. Inother words, not only should she not be nervousabout being alone with you, but she should actu-ally want it more than you. At this point you should handle logistics andtake a strong lead. It is of utmost importance to be very decisiveand know exactly where you’re going. She mustdefer to your judgment. Make the journey to isolation short and keepthe conversation active during the transition. Don’t talk about where you’re going in a waythat will intimidate her. I.e.. Don’t tell her thatyou’re going to a hotel now, just tell her that youwant to keep spending time with her somewheremore quiet. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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Full Close: The state of mind you should have when inter-acting with a girl should be one of ‘relaxed andrelished certainty’. Don’t rush things. In other words, you shouldn’t be dependent onher, or too reactive to her. Imagine being a hunterwith a high powered rifle, and you’re hunting adeer in some enclosed space. You know that anymoment you can kill the deer - but instead youchoose to relax and enjoy the experience becauseof that certainty. You continue to relish in the experience, enjoythe chase, and do it when at the absolute perfectmoment. It also reminds me of having some kind of des-sert or maybe a delicious bottle of champagnethat you could open at any moment and enjoy,but you put it off, because you’re enjoying the an-ticipation so much. Treat closing a woman exactlythe same as these types of moments. Enjoy your interaction with her being 100% certain thatit will lead where you want it to later on. Copyright 2006 theApproach

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The idea is that you provide her with in-structions at every point and make it clearhow she should respond. Intentions are always clear, actions are alwaysconfident and calculated. The man knows the entire plan from point A topoint B, and always assumes she’s ready to go. No hesitation, no indecisiveness. This is truly what attracts women - much morethan *any* canned material. Her emotions are engaged 150% on overdrive. You are putting her IN THE ROMANCENOVEL. Vincent DiCarlo Copyright 2006 theApproach