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Adapted from the article, Texas schools try to get a grip on discipline problems with social-emotional lessons.

More and more schools throughout the United States and Texas in particular are introducing Social and Emotional Learning into their lesson plans. These classes essentially centre on how to manage emotions and develop skills; including empathy, responsibility and problem solving. An assistant principal at one of the key elementary schools used to be one of those teachers who had little or no time for kids squirming in their chairs and ‘other annoyances’. She thought that surely by fourth grade, her students would know how to raise their hand, sit quietly and walk in a straight line down the hallways. “But they don’t”, she said.

She realised that students needed to be taught appropriate behaviours and that it was her job to teach those behaviours as many times as it took students to grasp. “We don’t have the expectation that kids know all their math by fourth grade, so why do we have the expectation that they always know to behave? This is something that we have to continually teach.”

Authentic Compliments

One teacher at Ridgeview Elementary School, Amanda Self, has a goal to build empathy within her classroom. Instead of just imparting empty self-esteem talk or praising poor grades for students who remain upbeat, Self’s approach focuses on teaching students to give each other “authentic compliments”. An authentic compliment could be something like, “I liked the way you helped me solve a math problem” or “I appreciated the way you were a good friend and let Suzy come and play with us”. Whereas an authentic compliment is NOT, “I like your shoes and the way your wear your hair”.

Self asks the students to sit in a circle and each student takes a turn to either give praise or ask for it. On these days, more than half of her students in the class gush with admiration for their classmates.

“It builds relationships within the classroom so that when problems arise, the teacher can deal with it a lot easier when she has established a culture and climate of kindness. Problem-solving comes a lot easier.”

This has been particularly effective among vulnerable students who often enter school lacking in academic readiness and in social skills. In many cases those students are experiencing a number of social obstacles that hamper their learning. “They have so many things on their plate that until we can help them deal with this socially, they’re going to continue acting out and that’s often why the academics are low.”

Focus on Continual Learning

The principal at Caprock Elementary school was not faced with a frightening campus culture or violent students but needed to “get a handle on behaviours that were taking away from teaching and learning”. This included clowning around in class, excessive talking and rudeness.

The social and emotional lessons were implemented campus wide, with lots of discussion among staff. Together, the staff selected two virtues to reinforce with students day-in and day-out, these were respect and responsibility. Consequently, Caprock’s hallways, bathrooms, cafeteria and playground are lined with posters that remind students to show respect, as this can be shown slightly differently through different settings.

In addition, the teachers have used individual approaches for managing difficult behaviours in their classroom. For example in a grade four classroom, one child had ‘ants in her pants’. She couldn’t sit still for long at all, so each time the child would put her bottom on a chair, the teacher was there with a “Gator buck”, which the child could use to purchase a gift from the treasure box at school. This helped to reinforce ‘good behaviours’ in the classroom and create lasting changes.

Moreover, another student would erupt in loud laughter in class as well as get up and dance or tell jokes. The boy stopped this behaviour when his teacher agreed to allow him to be a comedian in front of the class for 10 minutes, twice a week. Ultimately, this 10 minutes was less time than the amount of time the teacher spent trying to correct him and getting the rest of the class back on track.

Our philosophy is that if we can focus more on the positive, we can decrease the negative and we’re seeing that happen. We’re seeing kids really want to work for that positive behaviour.

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As we know, meditation techniques are useful for relieving stress and anxiety or simply remaining calm during daily life. Guided imagery can be a powerful tool to use with young children as it places them in a calm state of mind and can provide mental tools for tackling their troubles throughout the day. The following guided meditation script provides the image of a magic shell which acts as the tool, where children can place all of their ‘yucky feelings’ and worries into.

The power of this lies in the fact that the shell is in their imagination, therefore they can manage their feelings at any time. However you can also suggest finding a real shell at the beach or in the garden which the child can carry with them. If the child struggles with bad dreams, you can place the shell underneath their pillow in order to help promote restful sleep.

This script is for younger children and can help with worry and anxiety. (From Meditations for Mini’s by Debbie Wildi)

Place yourself in a comfy, cozy position. Close your eyes and take a long slow deep breath. As you breathe out relax your body.

Imagine that you are standing on a beach. See the beach in your mind. Think about a beach that you may have visited, or you could use an imaginary beach if you like.

You can feel the sand beneath your toes and the sun is warm on your face. Look around you. In front of you is a huge ocean. It looks a silvery-blue colour and the sunlight sparkles like tiny stars dancing on the surface.

You look at the ground and in front of you in the sand is the most glorious shell you have ever seen. You pick it up. It feels warm. Notice how smooth the shell is. Feel it with your fingers. This is your magic shell. You can tell it your secrets and it will keep them. You can also tell your shell any worries that you may have. Tell it about any problems that may be troubling you at the moment. No matter how big or how small they are. The shell wants to hear them.

Whenever you have worried feelings you can tell your shell about them and it will magically take those horrid feelings and turn them into good ones.

Now see yourself holding the shell close to your mouth. In your mind silently tell it whatever you wish. No one else will know what you say. Only you and your shell! As you say your words they go right into the middle of the shell so that it can take them away for you. Tell your shell your worries right now….

Now you do not have to feel yucky feelings anymore. The shell has made them disappear. Just like magic!

They are gone!

As you hold your shell close all you feel is calm and happiness. You feel peaceful all the way from the tips of your toes, to the tip of your nose. Feel it right now. Notice how it feels.

It is important for you to know that you can imagine your shell whenever you wish to make yucky thoughts and feelings disappear, whenever you wish to feel calm. Your shell will always be there waiting in your imagination.

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A brain break is simply a short, engaging activity that teachers and parents can use to refresh and refocus a child’s attention (this should be less than 5 minutes). A brain break should get the blood pumping and the brain working!

And why are brain breaks important?

Regular brain breaks enhance attentiveness, concentration and focus. They accelerate learning by allowing children to release their energy, anxiety and stress. Brain breaks also increase circulation and promote physical fitness and coordination.

There are a heap of YouTube channels providing excellent Brain Break videos and resources for children. Here are just a few of them:

Debbie Doo Kids

Debbie Doo’s music and videos are perfect for Brain Breaks at school as they are written for toddlers, kindergarten, preschool and elementary school age kids. Each video strengthens language and speaking skills and fine and gross motor skills. Debbie Doo song’s explore different style of music and promotes adult/child interaction. Debbie Doo’s videos help to build fitness using dance moves that promote a child’s health, coordination and most importantly happiness!

This YouTube channel includes yoga and mindfulness videos made especially for children. The videos are around 24 minutes long and are interactive adventures following dinosaurs, mermaids, wizards that help to build strength, balance and confidence. Explore the channel to find videos appropriate for different ages and different mental states (bravery, calming concentration).

Check out the video below; an adventure following Tiny, the T-Rex, who learns about looking after his teeth.

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Based on an article published by the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, written by Bonnie Brown, Robin Stern and Dawn DeCosta.

Not quite one week ago, a series of terrorist attacks rocked the city of Paris.

An act of terrorism makes us fear for both our own safety and the safety of those we love and care about. It can cause us to feel vulnerable. It can create an intense and overwhelming emotional response and you may not understand how to cope with these feelings. These same reactions are often true for children. Through this article I will suggest some ways to communicate with your children about the tragedy of the terror attacks in order to help them cope with and navigate their emotional reactions.

Terrorist attacks can be difficult to understand for a number of reasons. First and most fundamentally, people want to know why this happened. It is difficult to comprehend how a group of people can decide to create such devastation on a city of innocent people. In addition, these attacks naturally cause us to question our own safety and whether the same thing could happen in the city where you live. This can especially impact children if they do not understand that these attacks are relatively uncommon, one-off events. Therefore it is important to emphasise that these types of attacks are uncommon and that they are still safe.

Parents and educators alike are all thinking about the best way to approach the subject of the Paris tragedy. There may be an initial urge to avoid the subject and shield the child from the news. Moreover, it can be difficult to attempt to allay their anxiety when we feel the same and to answer questions that we do not yet understand. However, Social and emotional researchers at Yale proposed that the best approach is to be upfront and straightforward.

These researchers suggested that that you must first check-in with your own understanding and feelings toward this tragedy. If you can’t come to terms with your own reactions, how can you expect your child to deal with theirs? Therefore, identify strategies that you use to regulate your ‘RED’ emotion; you may wish to explain how you felt yourself shifting between emotions and how to were able to move from ‘RED’ to ‘GREEN’ emotions as you became calmer over time. This will help to prepare you to help your child as well as create examples for how they may overcome their own ‘RED’ emotions. Just remember, it is important to be authentic and clear about your own feelings and experiences.

Here are a number of suggestions for how to best help your child or student cope with this crisis:

Help the child to understand that the emotions they are feeling are normal, whether it be sadness, anger, fear, confusion, even numbness. These feelings are all normal reactions to tragic events. It is best for the child to voice their emotions and accept that it is ok and they should not feel pressure to move towards ‘GREEN’ emotional states.

Clearly identify social support as a regulation strategy that we can all use in school, at home and in the community when we want to reduce or prevent uncomfortable feelings.

People often find comfort in spending time with the ones they love and by supporting each other. You could suggest to the child that it could be nice to hold a friend’s hand or give someone they love a hug.

Although it’s natural to want to know what is happening, don’t spend hours glued to the television set. Taking a break from watching what’s going on in the world is OK. Read, play board games, or go outside.

Finally, highlight as many of the following points as you can: that events such as the Paris attacks are very rare and unlikely to occur, the child is loved and cherished by those around them, that there are many more good people in the world than bad and those people are working to make sure that events such as this do not happen again.

These events are difficult for children to understand, however don’t forget about your own psychological and emotional wellbeing. If you are finding it difficult to cope, remember to take care of yourself by talking to a friend or loved one, getting regular sleep and exercise and continuing to take part in activities that you enjoy. While the entire world mourns for those devastated by the attacks on Paris, remember that you do not need to take all of these issues on board, continue to enjoy your precious, wonderful life.

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This article is based on “How not to talk to your kids” written by Pro Bronson

Over the past ten years, psychologist Carol Dweck and her team have studied the effect that praise has on children. Her seminal research was conducted on 400 grade five students and comprised a series of experiments which provided staggering results towards the evidence on growth mindset.

Initially, the children were required to individually perform a verbal IQ test and afterwards, the researcher provided the student with their score and a single line of praise. Half of the students were praised for their intelligence, “You must be smart at this”, and the other half were praised for their effort, “You must have worked really hard”.

Afterwards, the students were given a choice for the second round. One choice was for a more difficult test, though the researcher mentioned that the child would learn a lot from attempting the puzzle. Whereas the second choice was an easy test, similar to that of the first test. The results indicated that 90% of the children praised for their efforts chose to challenge themselves with the hard test, whereas the majority of those praised for their intelligence chose the easier test.

However, even more striking were the results from a third round of testing. The same students were provided with a difficult test designed for children two years older than the students. Although all of the students failed, there were marked differences in the childrens’ approaches and observed resilience when attempting the test. Those who were praised for effort became very involved and engaged in problem solving. Whereas those praised for their intelligence were visibly straining and miserable. In addition, these students assumed that their failure indicated that they were not actually smart.

Finally, after completing this very difficult test which intentionally induced failure, the children completed a final test which was similar in difficulty to that of the first test. The children who were praised for their effort produced an average improvement in their scores of 30%. Whereas those praised for intelligence produced significantly lower scores than the initial testing, by about 20%.

These results surpassed Dweck’s initial predictions. She had proposed that praise would backfire, however she was surprised by the magnitude of the effects seen. Dweck concluded that overall, “emphasising effort gives a child a variable that they can control” and that the children “come to see themselves as in control of their success”. In addition, these findings have been replicated in various socioeconomic groups and age groups. These praise effects equally impact both boys and girls as well as children as young as preschool age.

“Emphasising natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure” (Dweck).

Therefore the conclusions are undeniable, children who receive praise for their effort are inherently encouraged to adopt a growth mindset; whereas children praised for intelligence will inevitably adopt a fixed minset. The evidence has shown that growth mindset promotes determination in the face of obstacles, a positive perception of effort as the path to success and the ability to learn from criticism.

If you are interested in learning more about growth mindset and strategies to promote this in your children or students, look out for our Growth Mindset courses and webinars in the New Year.

Inspired by the popular mindset idea that hard work and effort can lead to success, Making A Splash is the first of its kind type of story. The book has a fun story for kids and a nonfiction part for parents. Children fall into one of two categories: Fixed and Growth. Some children have what psychologists call a Fixed Mindset. They think they only have a fixed amount of intelligence. When they try something new and fail, they’re embarrassed because they think it proves they aren’t smart enough. Other children have a growth mindset. They realize that it’s not about how smart you are today, but about how smart you can become. They value learning over looking smart. These kids understand that even geniuses must work hard. People are held back more due to their mindset than their actual capability. The best way to learn is through stories and examples; 30 pages of story + 14 pages for parents about growth mindset.