Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 03:23:41 -0500
From: Jason
Subject: milking duty 7
As usual, if you shouldn't be here, go away. To all others enjoy. Hope
you like the story. Give me your thoughts at gayboy3@hotmail.com . I'd be
happy to hear from you.
I was on cloud nine. The night that I had spent with Mike was the
most wonderful night of my life. I felt a connection with him that I had
never felt with anyone else. It was almost as if I had been alone until
that moment when we fell into one another's arms. Mike and I had had sex
several times before, but this time things were different. Before, it was
just movements to get our rocks off. Last night, it was emotional and
intimate, something that didn't happen much within my family.
Now maybe I was just thinking too much, or maybe it was meant to be
that way, but as I sat in the milk barn, reviewing in my mind the events
that had happened the night before, I realized that I had crossed a line.
At least when Mike and I were having sex, I could explain my feelings with
the need for sex, I could justify my attraction to him by being a horny
teenager. Now, my heart was saying something different. It was like
permanent butterflies in my stomach. No man-made substance could be that
intoxicating. That very intoxication is what worried me most though. My
heart was now telling me that there was something more than sex. I was
coming nearer to the fact that I would soon have to face my feelings and my
sexuality, something that I really had no intention of doing.
The milking chores went smooth that morning. Around noon I headed
off to the back pasture to fix some fence that a neighbor's cow decided to
tear down. I walked along a narrow cow path that led to the creek. The
giant Oak trees were gently swaying in the summer wind. In the heat of the
day, not many living things were active. The grasshoppers buzzed to and
fro as I disturbed them by walking down the trail. I saw the cows in the
shade at the bottom of the hill, some were laying down, some standing.
They chewed their cud and swished their tails, not paying much attention to
the fact that I was there. I stopped about half way down the hill and from
my vantage point the view was exquisite. The grass had yellowed some under
the intense summer sun. The pasture was spotted with red and white clover,
yellow dandelions and the occasional daisy. The cows had mowed the grass
short, allowing the rocks that were scattered across the field to shine
like gems in the sun. I turned and looked back up the hill, from that
viewpoint, the sky contrasted the pasture in an almost religious manner.
The sky was so blue that one needed to squint to look at it. The smells of
nature were overwhelming, the sweetness of the grass was intense and the
scent of the cows danced on the wind. Though one might not think a cow
could possibly smell good, to those from a farm, the smell is comforting
because of its familiarity. I watched some sparrows dancing on the limb of
a small tree nearby, they chirped excitedly over some thing that obviously
excites sparrows. I realized that I was smiling at the bounty of nature
before me. I laughed to myself, thinking that I must look like some kind
of dork standing in the middle of the field gawking at things like I had
never seen any of them before. Guess you could say that I was just
stopping to smell the roses.
In two weeks I would leave for college. I was excited but a little
afraid as well. I had spent my entire life on this farm and it was all
about to end. I felt what might possibly be called gloom at the fact that
my life would soon change. I had always had reasons for not being able to
go and try new things, I had to work on the farm, in a short while I would
be stripped of that excuse and would be forced to enter the "outside" world
and fend for myself. Quite a daunting task to a young man like myself. As
I continued down the path, my mind wondered to Mike. I giggled like a
child at the intense feelings that our relationship gave me. I was
starting to confront the fact that I liked men and I was comforted that
Mike would be there to go through all these new feelings with.
I arrived at the fence that needed mending. Armed with a hand full
of steeples and a hammer, I set to work repairing the fence. I couldn't
have been there for five minutes when I heard footsteps approaching me from
behind. I turned to see Julie, a girl that I went to high school with
walking down the trail. It was a hot day, and I had chucked my shirt off
and I was sporting a pair of camouflaged pants and work boots. I suddenly
became uncomfortable about being half undressed. Julie and I had talked
some in school, we had even kissed a couple of times, and somehow I knew
her intentions were to get a little closer to me. I smiled at her as she
hopped across the rocks in the creek. We talked for a bit as we sat in the
grass, next to the creek under the shade of a big Sycamore tree. I was
aware that she was sitting really close to me and I could even feel myself
acting differently as she slowly reached over and touched me on the leg.
Her brown eyes pierced mine and I was like a deer in headlights. Now you
would never believe this in a hundred years, but Julie and I sat, talked
some more and before I knew it, we were rolling around on the ground
kissing like mad. Events unfolded and it turns out that the day after my
passionate night with Mike, I lost my virginity to a girl, Julie.
While it physically felt okay, my mind and heart wasn't in it. As we were
getting dressed, I noticed two big ruts in the ground where I had dug the
heels of my boots in. I laughed a little at the strangeness of the
situation. She was totally unaware of my inner turmoil. We talked
casually as I finished repairing the fence, then we walked back towards my
house. Julie left soon after we arrived at my house. She kissed me
good-bye on the cheek and I sort of stood there in a daze. I couldn't
believe what had just happened. I was so confused. I had sex with Julie,
not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. All the other guys
in school talked about having sex with girls, so when the opportunity
presented itself, I took it. Now I just felt like a piece of crap.
Whatever kind of relationship I had with Mike, having sex with someone else
couldn't be good for it. On top of that, I had been as intimate as a
person could be with a girl, that I didn't want and that I used as some
sort of experiment to see what other guys were really going on about. It
confirmed that I definitely preferred men, but that only served to make
things worse with my feelings. My head started to spin and I felt as
though I may be sick to my stomach. I plopped down under the tree in the
front yard and watched the cows across the road. If only my life could be
that simple, eat grass and sleep. Some species have all the luck.
That night, as I was milking, Mike popped in to say high. As I
looked him up and down, that intense sensation of adrenaline rushing
through my body returned. I could smell him, and it was driving me mad. I
instantly became hard. Mike noticed and couldn't pass up a chance to
harass me on my obvious willingness to please. He laughed and tweaked one
of my nipples, telling me to calm down, I would have a chance to ride him
soon. I laughed nervously and told him to fuck off, but deep down I knew
that he had my number. I leaned against the wall as he came closer to me.
I felt his hand slide onto my crotch and I closed my eyes as his lips met
mine. His tongue slid inside mouth and I sucked on it ever so gently. He
pulled back and then leaned in and whispered in my ear that he couldn't
wait to get me in his bed again. I could feel his hot breath on my neck
and ear and it seemed as though I was paralyzed. I had no words to
counter, so I stood there looking up into his face. He was truly a
beautiful creature. Of all the things that I had done in the milk barn,
kissing my friend full on the lips was definitely a new one. Mike's
presence seemed to heighten all my senses, my skin felt every movement in
the air, and my nose could smell Mike and his distinct scent. And of
course my eyes were as big around as Frisbees, I was just pitiful.
Mike turned and said that he had to run, but that we could meet at
the church about 9 and finish our, ummm, conversation. He turned and
walked toward the door and as he was going through it, stopped and turned
toward me. The words that came out of his mouth nearly caused me to drop
to the ground. He asked about Julie. I instantly knew that he was aware
of the little rendezvous in the pasture today, how I haven't a clue. I was
a mixture between embarrassed and scared. He had a really strange look on
his face as he said that we would discuss it later. He had an unusual
authoritarian tone in his voice that both intrigued and frightened me. And
for a moment, I thought I saw pain in his facial expression. I was
immediately overcome with guilt. I felt guilty about using Julie the way I
did, and now I hurt Mike's feelings, what a complete fuckup I had performed
in the last 12 hours.
I finished the chores and headed to the house to get ready and go
meet Mike. I wasn't really sure what the night would be like. So I was a
little reluctant. I jumped in the shower, my mind seemed to be stuck on
the look on Mike's face as he left the milk barn. I put on some clean
clothes, grabbed a sandwich and jumped in my truck and headed to St Ivo.
Mike was there when I arrived. He had a bottle of whiskey with him and we
took off in his truck. I was unsure as to what to expect, but I was soon
to be very aware. I was hardly prepared for the scene that ensued.
We rode along for a few minutes without saying anything. The radio
was playing some country music song that I didn't recognize. I looked out
the window, and then glanced over at Mike. He seemed to be deep in
thought. I wondered what was on his mind, but was a little afraid to ask.
Mike finally broke the silence when he asked if I had enjoyed sex with
Julie. I wasn't sure how to answer, so I decided with the middle of the
road approach. "It was OK." I said.
"Well that is cool I guess." He commented blandly.
"How did you know? I mean it just happened this afternoon." I
queried.
Mike smiled and looked over at me. "Well, lets just say that Julie
beat me to the punch." He gave me a suggestive wink and then took a large
drink from the bottle. For a minute I was confused as to what he meant.
Then it dawned on me. He had been watching. I was mortified. The first
time I had sex with a girl and my male lover was there to critique my
performance.
"You mean, you saw us, what we were...oh man." I stuttered. Mike
laughed a hearty laugh and slapped men on the shoulder. I knew that I
would be teased about this for some time to come.
"Well stud, judging by her moans, I say you were tearing her up. I
was getting kind of jealous, you know seeing you paw on her like that." If
there had been a way that I could have gotten under the seat of the truck,
I would have. This was just nightmare-ish.
We pulled into the church parking lot and pulled around behind
under the trees. I was feeling no pain from the Makers Mark I was
drinking. When Mike stopped, I decided I needed a walk. When my feet hit
the ground, I stumbled a bit and fell over a tombstone. Mike laughed, I
gave him the finger, with a big smile on my face. Mike jumped out and
walked with me down the trail that led to the woods behind the church. I
suddenly was overcome with questions for Mike. What did he feel for me, if
anything? Was he gay? Was I? Were we lovers or fuck buddies? They all
seemed to "girlish" so I just kept quiet. Mike broke the silence once
again by commenting, "well I was sort of taken back that you and Julie
were, you know, doing it. I just assumed that you didn't have any interest
in girls. Not that there is anything wrong with that." Mike stammered and
tried to apologize for pointing out the fact that I like guys.
"I didn't. I don't. I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
Guess I wasn't." I countered. Mike grabbed my shoulder and turned me to
face him. The night sky was almost navy blue. The moon and stars were
shining through the leaves of the trees. The crickets and frogs were
calling. Mike's tall frame was just a dark figure. I looked up at him and
at that moment realized just how much bigger he was than I. Mike must have
been reading my mind, that or the things I needed to hear were written on
my forehead.
"Jason, you know that I like you. You know, in that way. When I
saw you with Julie, well at first I was sort of turned on, you know seeing
you two going at it like mad animals. But then I felt hurt, you know like
you were, well cheating on me. I didn't really like it." Mike's face was
shadowed, but I could tell he was serious and even though it wasn't the
profession that I was dreaming of, it was still good for a country boy who
wasn't supposed to have emotions anyway. Mike sealed his profession as he
kissed me hard and deep. My head started to spin and I felt myself submit
to his every whim. My shirt got ripped as we fell into passion. The dew
on the ground was damp as he laid me down in the grass, never breaking our
embrace. His touch was electric and I felt my body come alive as he
stimulated all my senses. He touched all the right places and pushed all
the right buttons. I was elevated to heights of ecstasy that I had never
dreamed of. Mike was so attentive to my body's every need, my lips, my
neck, my chest, my stomach, nothing escaped his passionate onslaught.
I looked up and watched him shed his clothes in the moonlight. The
moon reflected from the skin on his shoulders. He looked as though he were
a god on earth. I quickly sat up and worshiped his body with my every
move. I caressed him, kissed and licked him. At that moment there was
nothing real except for the two of us. The world was miles away. Mike
entered me with a sense of urgency and need. I kneeled in front of him,
begging him to use my body for his worldly desires. Though his size was
somewhat discomforting, I would dare not ask him to stop. His big hands
grasped my shoulders, pulling me into him. I moaned with ecstasy. He
leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my chest. He placed kisses on
my neck and shoulders and even slid down to my mid back. His gentle kisses
drove me wild. He hugged me tight and I could tell by his breathing that
he was nearing the point we both begged for. With a gasp, a moan and a
firm thrust, he exploded. My body rejoiced at his presence. My own hand
wondered down to my midsection and with a few thrusts, I exploded into the
dew soaked grass. Gasping for air, we gently slid down to our sides,
squeezing one another so tightly that a hurricane could not pull us apart.
I had no words that could thank Mike for the way he had made me feel. I
opened my mouth and "I love you" came out. I felt Mike tense. My brain, a
step behind at this moment, had spilled my inner thoughts before I could
help it. I laid there, not knowing what to do or say. Mike said nothing
as he tightened his grip around my chest.
Tbc.