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That night, Ranhee promptly texted Jiyong to meet her at the library the following afternoon.
The next day, she walked in the library, her eyes trained on the occupied seats, looking for Jiyong.
As she glanced towards the right, her eyes caught him waving heartily at her. She turned to see Jiyong happily greeting her, and telling her to hurry up.
It was completely different from the day before. This time, he had a genuine smile on. His eyes sparkled in the dim lighting, courtesy the seat he chose. She also noticed the stack of books he had taken the effort to acquire.
She figured that he didn’t indulge in alcohol or drugs willingly, or at least promote it. He also had a sense of dignity. But due to vocational constraints, he resorted to such habits for relaxation. It was painful to see what Jiyong could be. He was a lovely person, without his addictions.
Before she sat down, he started to talk.
“Look, Ranhee, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I was drunk, and I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m really grateful to you; you still want to tutor me. You have to help me. OK?”
She didn’t know what to say. She had come prepared with a full fledged lecture on why he should get rid of his habits, but it was clear that he tried to. What would she get by lecturing him about something he already knew?
She sat down and vaguely started,” Yeah, it’s OK. I guess you should keep it under control, though…”
She waited for him to retort back. Both descended into a deep silence. She wasn’t sure on how to continue; she felt both sorry and slightly comfortable.
After a few minutes, Jiyong spoke up.
“Can you do something for me?”
Ranhee slowly nodded. On her mind, she said no. It was not in his place to ask for favours when he had to correct himself. Ranhee believed that self-correction was of utmost importance, and was best done alone. Only that brought out the true vigour of the person’s spirit.
“OK, I need you to come with me to the orphanage.”
Ranhee looked up at him. What did he have to do with the orphanage? Was he going to teach the poor children there to drink as well?
He stood up and yanked Ranhee up as well. He then proceeded to pull her outside the library, and without leaving her hand, walked to the orphanage, a block away.
“I’ll explain when we get there,” he said, excitedly.
When they finally arrived, she noticed the number of children outside to greet him.
All of them looked immensely happy to see him; they hugged him by the dozen, before he could even enter.
“Everyone, this is my friend, Ranhee! Say hi!” He shouted after they pulled him inside.
Ranhee curtly bowed, as all the children, including their caretaker, excitedly greeted her.
Ranhee thought it would take an hour at most, but Jiyong did not want to get up from there.
He tended to each child, giving special attention to the infants.
” I’m an orphan, you know,” he said, as he fondled a baby. “Not many people know that about me. I may seem like a spoiled brat, but I have my reasons. All idols do.”
Ranhee was astonished. She was sure none of the fans knew about him being an orphan. Her heart sunk deeper as he made sure each baby found his embrace. There was such a distinct side to him that no one knew about.
After leaving the orphanage, Jiyong took her to his dorm and forced her to tutor him. He was a great student- though he was a bit slow to understand, he was quick to implement whatever he learnt. He was patient when she taught, and yearned for acknowledgement of his understanding.
After the tutorial session, he took her out for snacks. Each time it was something different. Ranhee was suspicious as to whether he was just doing this to make up for the day before, but the same continued the next day and the many after that. It became a routine to visit the orphanage, then have tutorials, then go out to eat.
She came to know of so much about him. Everything he did with his conscience was the complete opposite of what he did without it. If someone met him when he was not intoxicated, they would have never guessed about his darker side.
Each night, as she laid down to sleep, she would go over everything she learnt that day. But after being with Jiyong, only he flooded her thoughts. He taught her so much.
She realised that it was hard to work as a musician. There was so much responsibility and pressure they had to cope with. Therefore, using alcohol and drugs did not seem detrimental. It made him feel better, and helped him relax. It was his gateway to a world without any concerns.
No one had ever looked at this side of the picture. It stopped with being an idol. The public, which included Ranhee, never cared about an idol outside of his vocation.
She could see that it was difficult for him to give it up. Each time they met, they would happily be talking, or laughing about one thing or the other. But in the middle, he never failed to pull out a cigarette. It was a tough habit.
His addictions made up his evil alter ego. She had destroy it, how much ever it helped him relax. Jiyong deserved a better life- not a dark and intoxicated one.

Meeting up with Ranhee brought new shades of sunlight in Joyong’s life as well. He became closer and closer to her, through which he came to know of a number of things about her. He reveled in the simpler aspects of her: she loved deokbokki but hated how her mother made it. She was, herself, a huge fan of Big Bang and turned to their music for comfort. He began to feel happier about agreeing to study with her, because she was like the small ray of light in his dark life. Behind his sober figure, lied depression, insomnia, pressure, and the constant need to light a cigarette and gulp down a full bottle of vodka. Ranhee was slowly diminishing each of those feature, one by one. He couldn’t help but admire her. Like Ranhee, his thoughts only concerned her.

Ranhee and Jiyong were make increased progress in coping with his addictions, until one day.
On Halloween, everything went out of hand.
His company had organised a party, along with a few lucky fans. Jiyong happily indulged in all the drinks and a number of the fans offered him an array of drugs, which he willingly accepted.
He had agreed to meet Ranhee after the party. She had stayed at him for his sake, while her parents had gone out for their own party.
Jiyong had to struggle to stand up. He had gone out of bounds. Seungri dropped him at Ranhee’s house.
Jiyong was now familiar with her house. He punched in her security code and barged in.
As soon she saw him, Ranhee knew what he had done. It was horrible; everything she had seen in him had vanished, and was replaced by the disgusting side that she witnessed the first time she went to tutor him.
As he slumped onto her, tightly holding her in his embrace, she inhaled the string scent of alcohol from him.
“Jiyong! What have you done!” She exclaimed, jerking him off.
He didn’t reply. Instead, he went straight for her again, this time holding her tighter than before. His fan his hand across her back, before settling down on her shoulder. He slowly pulled the fabric away with his teeth and stamped it with his wet kiss.
“Jiyong, stop it! What- what are you doing?” Ranhee whimpered, tears welling up in her eyes.
Jiyong pulled away from her before huskily whispering in her ear, ” It’s not about what I’m doing. It’s about what I’m going to do.”
He nuzzled her neck, slowly pulling her shirt up.
Ranhee jerked him off, hyperventilating.
Her mind was hazy; she didn’t know what to do.
Without thinking, she slapped her hand across his cheeks.
He didn’t say anything, but the fire in his eyes encapsulated the anger he felt. He had never been so maddened. He quickly gave back the slap, before yanking her by her hair and throwing her towards the wall.
Ranhee couldn’t see. Her vision went blurry, and her head throbbed like never before. Her forehead was numb.
Jiyong kicked her down as she tried to stand, and slammed into her lips before saying, ” Don’t ever do that again.”
————————————-
The following days, neither attended school. And neither met each other. Normally, Ranhee would have gone up to Jiyng and thrashed him before lecturing him. But this time, it was different. Jiyong was the spice in her life now. He had softened here. She was in love with him.

It was only when Jiyong was sent for questioning for alleged possession of marijuana did she gather enough courage to see him. She was certainly afraid that he would still be the psycho he was that day, but she knew he needed her help.
She gingerly walked up to his dorm, which was swarming with media personnel, and then proceeded to the back door entrance to get in without many people knowing.
Her heart raced as she rung the doorbell. She was almost grateful that it was Daesung who answered, and not Jiyong.
“Ranhee-ssi, I’m so happy you’ve come. Please forgive him for what he did that day. He really needs you,” he said, looking down.
All the members were clearly depressed. The atmosphere of the whole place was cold and stagnant. Everyone wanted to know what would happen next. Everyone cared for him.
He led her towards his room, which was locked. He knocked at the door before quietly telling him that someone had come to see him.
The door opened, but no one was to be seen.
Jiyong walked backwards along with the door, so that no one could see him. He then said,”Come in.”
As soon as she shuffled into the room, he shut the door.
An uncomfortable silence followed, before Ranhee spoke up.
“Jiyong, I- I can’t believe it. Why did you do that? What are your fans going to think?”
No reply. She looked at him with the corner of her eye and saw his hands running through his hair. He seemed to be crying.
” Yah, don’t just cry now. You can make everything dramatic and get away with it,” she said, a tad angry. He wasn’t supposed to cry in situations like this- he had to fix them!
But she saw that he sincerely was crying, as he looked up at her, just like when she first asked him about being his tutor. A genuine look of miserableness and sorrow was plastered across his face.
“Jiyong, don’t- why- why are you crying?” She asked, carefully sitting beside him.
” I fucked up everything! My career, my life, and you. I’m just a dumb, useless piece of shit! I don’t deserve anything. I hate myself,” he shouted, startling Ranhee.
Tears flooded her eyes, as she turned his face towards her.
At that moment, anything she thought she knew about Jiyong, or idols in general, vanished.
They too, had the desire to live life to the fullest. But they also had a conscious responsibility towards their vocation, their fans. They had any number of misgivings as anyone else. But it didn’t deter them from trying to meet with the public’s standards. Everyone wants to enjoy life. But these idols, they can’t.

“I’ll get you out of this,” she promised. And she fulfilled it.
After contemplating on everything she ever learnt from Jiyong, she came to accept that his addictions were not going to stop by themselves. When he was cleared of his allegations, Ranhee made sure she was by his side everyday. Slowly, he gave up on every addiction. But he developed one new one.
Ranhee.
——————————–

After they started dating, Ranhee made sure their relationship was made public. Of course, she forgave him for the Halloween incident, and both made sure to cast that memory away. She wanted anything that would cause stress to Jiyong to get out of the way. Every weekend, he dropped his work and went out with Ranhee. She made sure he had fun, and that he didn’t fall under his career. After all, idols have to live their life to the fullest as well.

~End

The story was really… vague, wasn’t it? I’m not sure if the ending is proper but I hope you guys like it! Thanks for all your support, especially the new subscribers!!
I wrote this on the iPad, so there might be a few spaces here and there. Please forgive me!

She had never made a decision she was not comfortable with. Ranhee made sure that she was up for any challenge, but in case anything came in the way, she was always one to stop. She didn’t mean to cause anyone hurt- in that way, anyone could see that she was made of nothing but sugar and spice. She never held any grudges, and she always tried to be amicable with everyone. No one ever appproached her to avenge anything, as they had no chance to.

But the fact that she was made of all spices was very evident when she herself lost her temper. This, gratefully, seldom happened, and it certainly did not happen at her school. For Ranhee, spice stood for courage, bravery and total faith in oneself. Ranhee always stood up for herself, and her goals. If anything or anyone tried to deter her, she would step out of the line to render it void.

Which was why, Ranhee never made a decision against her will.

Of many of those decisions, one altered her life.

Kwon Ji Yong. Popularly known as G-Dragon.

It was a feat many idols could not manage to pull off- attend school. Jiyong had taken the initiative to continue his schooling whenever time permitted. Unfotunately, it didn’t really work out. Jiyong saw his school once a month, not more, not less. Going to school turned out to be for show alone. It was not like he had made any progress with his education; it was almost as if he went every month on due to cultural obligations.

As expected, this did cause an unecessary furore in the digital and print media. Just because Jiyong had enrolled in a school, but rarely ever attended it, his critcs began to condemn his actions, stating that he was wasting his time and preventing the less fortunate from obtaining admission. On the pretext of the number of days he went to school, people began to send him as much as death threats. It was too overwhelming.

So Jiyong’s schedule was relaxed, and the filming of petty commercial films like tasting cake, or dancing with a mug of coffee was replaced by attending school.

So on the 21st of October, Jiyong began his complete school schedule.

That day, Ranhee woke up with an unusual sense of excitement. She, did know that he was going to attend school in full vigour for a while, and she knew that she was to make the best of it. She had a great idea. She swayed into her bathroom after gazing at the number of posters on her walls, predominant of which was her G-Dragon poster.

She loved him. She could not contain her excitement when she saw him walk into class a few months ago. Her favorite idol was in her class! She could not believe her luck. But like any normal fan, she avoided his gaze- in fact, she made sure that he never took notice of her, and always lovingly beamed at his antics from a distance. She loved his sparkling eyes, and his perfectly shpaed mouth. She admired his long slender fingers, and his load of talents. Everything about him was perfect. She couldn’t help but think of him by her side, a euphoria where she could allow him to acknowledge her presence, a place where she could cherish all his qualities, all his features.

And so, as she observed things as negligible as his face contours and the symmetry of his body from a distance. She was too scared to approach him.

Throught this process, she came to know of a lot of things about him. Something that really bothered her was Jiyong’s prowess in studying, or lack, thereof. He was obviously not the best in terms of grades, since he rarely attended school, but she did notice, from her incessant spying, that her truly struggled with schoolwork.

Therefore, she asked her teacher whether she could tutor him. She couldn’t have been more conspicuous in her excitement, so her teacher chuckled gently, and replied that she was free to tutor him, but she had better take advice from someone who had already taught him before.

This was the biggest decision she had ever taken in her life.

She later met up with one of her classmates, Kang Soo Min, who had been Jiyong’s study partner for a week the year before.

Soomin was surprised that Ranhee had taken up such a challenge.

“I don’t think you would last a day!” She said, biting off part of her sandwich. “He’s too much trouble for your personality. You’ll opt out as soon as you meet him.”

Just before Ranhee could reply, Soomin added one last thing.

“However, you might stay as well. Depends on what kind of person you are. You’ll have fun most of the time, but you won’t make progress in schoolwork. You know what I mean?” She said, wiggling her eyebrows. “I know I had fun. But, like I said, I don’t think you’ll enjoy it. But it’s up to you! Fighting!”

Soomin walked off without letting Ranhee pronounce her verdict in the decision. It was only because her teacher told her to ask Soomin did she go and question her. Ranhee didn’t care about what Soomin said- that was what spice was in Ranhee’s personality. She never backed out, no matter what anyone said. Unless she was hurting someone, Ranhee perservered and made sure she fulfilled everything she decided to do.

So she neglected Soomin’s opinions and headed towards Jiyong, who was sitting inside of their class to garner the least attention.

“Um, hi, Jiyong-ssi, I-”

“Are you here for my autograph? Or a picture?”

Ranhee stared at him for a good few minutes. He spat that out without the slightest bit of knowledge on what she was going to say. Although she could see why he would do that, she felt a bit let down that he would consider her as any other fan. Like all fangirls, she expected him to consider her special. Ranhee’s stomach just flipped, and her cheeks burned. The fact that he may not even want her to tutor him suddenly dawned upon her.

Mustering up as much courage she had in her, she sat down in the desk in front of him and replied negatively.

He looked up at her, his eyebrows raised.

“I just noticed that you always finished the math problems after they were discussed and I thought you could use some help so I asked the teacher if I could tutor you and she said yes but I still have to ask you so I came here to ask you if I could tutor you,” she muttered in one breath, staring intently at the ground.

Jiyong put down his chopsticks. “Could you repeat that?”

Ranhee stared at him for the second time. She looped the sight of him widening his eyes and looking at her as his mouth quickly moved to ask her to repeat in her mind. Slowly, she snapped out of it.

“I just noticed that you were a little- slow- during class, so I wanted to ask if you would like me to tutor you. I already asked the teacher, so you don’t have to worry about that,” she said, in a more refined manner, this time looking at him.

“You’re Cho Ranhee, right? Yeah, OK, I guess you could come over tomorrow,” he replied, directing himslef back to his lunch.

“M-m-me come ov-over?” she stuttered. She had been invited to G-Dragon’s dorm. Which meant she had been invited to Big Bang’s dorm.

She walked in after informing the security of her purpose, took the elevator to the fifth floor.

Jiyong had texted her his address the night before, causing her to roll around without sleep all night. She was in posession of not only THE G-Dragon’s phone number, but his address as well. Any other fan would have paid worlds for her fortune.

She was welcomed in by Jiyong and the rest of the members of Big Bang stated their greeting before heading back into their own rooms. She heard Seungri whisper to Daesung about wishing she wouldn’t moan like the previous tutor.

Whatever that meant.

Jiyong stood outside his room and extended his arm to the side, motioning her to go in. She looked at his face to see a wide smile.

But it didn’t look very genuine. It looked more like a whimsical, intoxicated one. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something certainly was wrong with him. She recalled his voice when he greeted her as well. It was shaky, and that too, had a sense of fake and poisoned happiness.

She set her supplies on a table Jiyong had dragged to the middle of the room, and sat down.

“Let’s fuck.”

Ranhee’s head began to throb. She was entirely taken aback. Everything seemed to fall into place now. The ‘fun’ Soomin was talking about, and what Seungri and Daesung were discussing- it was having sex with Jiyong. All his previous tutors were seduced into making love with him. And Jiyong’s strange behaviour? He was drunk and high on drugs.

“Jiyong-ssi- how- how high are you? I don’t want to-”

“Call me oppa.”

Ranhee began to cry. She quickly scooped her supplies off the table and ran outside, shielding her face from anyone who had the chance to see her.

She darted towards her own house, a street away from the dorm, and locked herself up in her room.

She weeped harder than ever.

Now, Ranhee was never one to cry. Along with her strong views on life and living, she had a lot of courage, and a strong build, emotionally. Instead of crying, Ranhee always made it a point to correct anyting that made her depressed. She never gave up on anything.

But this made her cry uncontrollably. She could not grasp the fact that her idol, the man she admired was, simply put, a douche.

This made he realize that though these idols were protrayed to be perfect, innocent, prodigies, they too had their misgivings. In Jiyong’s case it was too much to bear. She now could imagine him splurging on alcohol, drugs, and women. She could see his dirtier, darker side. Everything about Jiyong that she liked vanished, and was replaced by the cold thoughts of him abusing both women and substance.

But like described before, Ranhee was never one to give up. Whatever decision she took, it was upto her to make things right if something went wrong. Ranhee enjoyed an adventurous and meaningful life, and she was not going to fall out from tutoring Jiyong just because he was high one day.

She decided to bring him out of his intoxicated shell, and make sure he lived his idol life as a good inspiration for all.

His personality was like the best coffee one could taste. It was of the right balance- not too sweet; he was capable of acting tough and serious in the appropriate situations- and not too bitter either; when it came to casual hang outs or taking me to the coffee shop, he was always loving and cute. He was perfect.

His curiosity was like a Cortado- very open and straightforward, but with a touch of angelic innocence, a topping of cream.

His conscientiousness was like a Macchiato- always with a strong base, filled with different levels. It was a maze, but he utilised it well.

At the same time, he was very extroverted. His ability to socialise and draw energy from any atmosphere was never inconspicuous. It was like a perfectly brewed Pharisaer. Everyone loved him.

His embrace was like a hot cappuccino on a cold, wintery day.

His scent gave off rich aromas of spiced coffee, matching his personality, which was made of a dramatic, adventurous, but humble and gentle spirit.

The feel of his lips had an air of Vienna Coffee. He was never one to make a kiss feel uncomfortable, but eventually, as you think of pulling away, he will end with a smart kick, rendering you completely breathless.

Regardless of his warm spirit in kissing, his ability to make love was purely Americano. He could lead you for days, and would never feel like stopping. And it was never slow or gentle, but very erotic and wild.

Bang Yong Guk was the best brew of coffee.

And he was the very same man who took me to the Coffee Shop on our first month anniversary and introduced me to the different coffees.

The Coffee Shop was a sophisticated café that Yong Guk had apparently visited during high school for ‘relief’. It housed a vast menu of coffees alone- exotic names that a normal Korean would have never recognized.

I was never into coffee- I more or less hated milk based beverages, and stuck to fruit juices and the likes. But since I loved him, I thought trying wouldn’t hurt.

And it didn’t. I literally dragged him to the same café everyday to try out a new coffee. Each drink was different, just like him. Each time we met, he showed me different levels of trust, adventure, friendship and most of all, love. Regardless of my newfound love for coffee, I loved going to The Coffee Shop with him. It was a place that made him open up the most. The Coffee Shop seemed to create an energetic rush in him, causing him to happily converse with me, before leading me to my house. Though the cafe had a warm, earthy vibe, Yong Guk interpreted it differently-it was his place to be fun, happy, and most of all, loving.

The Coffee Shop was what made our love blossom, was what made us descend to different emotions together, and what ultimately made it crash as well.

As we graduated from college, which was about two months before, Yong Guk refused to go out as often as we did before. He only seemed interested in dates at the Coffee Shop. Every time I invited him for a hang out or a casual meet, he declined it, unless it was planned in the Coffee Shop. It seemed like he was more in love with the place than with me. I found myself waiting in the Coffee Shop every time we decided to meet. He was never open for after the date either. He would always disappear after we stood up, and kissed, and parted ways. Though very unrealistic, dates, for him, meant cuddling up with The Coffee Shop. I was merely a messenger.

I, of course, figured that infidelity using The Coffee Shop was not something Yong Guk participated in. Though he declined meeting at any other place, he always acted as sweet and loving as ever when we did meet at the café. Like always, we talked, but unusually, je wasn’t as enthusiastic before. we never professed pur secrets, or talked about our problems. It was like he had cloned himself to meet with me, and his real spirit was dead.It was confounding, because he never did tell me why he preferred dating there. We talked for hours together over warm or cold coffee, but whatever the drink, he never talked straightforwardly. He always showered me with praise and never stopped talking sugar. But we never talked like a real couple of four years. It seemed too amateurish, and he didn’t seem to be ready to tell me why it was like that. So, after weeks of consulting my mind, I decided it was time. I could not last in a relationship where a surreal image of happiness was drawn. We had to split.

But of course, I didn’t have the heart. I starkly remember one instance before college graduation, when we had had a small fight and I refused to talk to him. He took me to the café and bought me my favourite coffee, Ethiopian, and sat me down on his lap. He didn’t care that it was an open place where other students thronged to. He sat me down with no reluctance and held me tight, before gently turning my face towards him. His eyes seared through mine, yet he didn’t let me move.

He said, with a deep breath, “I’m so sorry, Kyung Min. I truly am, from the bottom of my heart. I can’t believe I would cause a fight between us, and I can’t believe I lived with myself knowing that I caused you to ignore me. I love you, and I always will. I promise to never cause any trouble. Please, forgive me.”

I looked at him and observed his straight and unwavering emotion. His feelings were so deep and true. At that point, I couldn’t say no.

“I love you,” I whispered after a kiss, to which he replied, “I also have one more request.”

“Please, never say you’ll break up with me. I’m having so much fun with you; my life is never complete with your smile. I don’t think I’ll be able to cope up with losing you. If you ever suspect me of anything, throw those thoughts away. I’ll never cheat on you, and I’ll never stop loving you. Never split up with me. Promise?”

I nodded slowly. At that time, even I couldn’t think of ever needing to break up with him.

This was why actually telling him that our relationship was void was impossible.

But how much ever I reasoned, I still felt a hole. It was the only way to release myself from that endless feeling of being locked up.

Ever since these negative feelings arose in me, I observed that the meetings with Yong Guk became less in quality as well as quantity. We met less by the day, and each time we did, he seemed to have grown weaker than before. His voice slowly grew soft, and his bright complexion went duller and duller. It was like he was disappearing with my love for him. But didn’t that usually happen with hallucinations- where one dreams of the spirit of a loved one, and that which slowly fades away with memory? Obviously, these weren’t hallucinations. I couldn’t have gone mad- there wasn’t enough evidence for that. And it seemed too sappy to be true. It was like an old novel, where the heroine notices changes in her life as she breaks away from her prince.

I was clearly acting childish. I had to end this once and for all, even if they did mess with my mind.

For help I texted our long time friend Yoo Youngjae. He stuck with us ever since we were a couple, and he was one person who understood me. If I couldn’t confide in Yong Guk, then he could.

However, when I requested for help, he replied negatively.

His text said:

“Kyung Min! What is wrong with you! How many times do we have to tell you!? Bang Yong Guk is GONE. He has been gone for two months together now. I can’t think of any way to make you remember that except shout at you each time. Stop mentioning him, as if he still exists. You’re just causing us more hurt.”

That was Youngjae’s problem. I don’t know if the two had an altercation, or something of the sort, but he always denied Yong Guk’s existence as a whole. He kept telling me that he was gone, which clearly was wrong because I met Yong Guk at the Coffee Shop almost every day. Something obviously happened between the two of them, but they never mentioned it, if it ever did happen. I was left with no information on their relationship at all. Youngjae’s words never made sense to me.

So I turned to another friend, Daehyun. He was someone I hadn’t contacted in a long time, so starting anew with something negative would obviously render me to expect the same reaction as Youngjae. So instead, I just requested him to come with me to the café. When we got there, I figured I would explain it to him and he would subsequently execute my wishes.

Thankfully, Daehyun replied positively, and I was already set to meet Yong Guk the next day.

At 2:30, the day after, we all met at the café. Interestingly, Yong Guk and Daehyun didn’t exchange greetings. But it wasn’t of concern to me.

I pulled Daehyun to a corner as Yong Guk went in to order coffee, and pleaded with him to help me out with the break up.

Daehyun looked very puzzled, and scared at the same time.

“Kyung Min, what- what are you talking about? Yong Guk- he’s- oh, so this is what Youngjae was talking about. Kyung Min-“he muttered, before vigorously shaking his head and looking at me.

“I’m sorry, but I need to go. I’ll be right back in a few minutes.” He said, without waiting for a reply. I watched as he ran out into the road and stopped at a phone booth.

I went and sat down at a free table, waiting for both of them.

Yong Guk sat down and gave me my cup.

“I got you your favourite. You know, because I lo-”

And that was when the biggest turning point of my life happened.

As he froze, he looked toward the back of me. I could hear someone approaching me, and looked back to face a tall, sturdy looking man, with a uniform on. On his right chest pocket was a golden emblem that read ‘Hongdae Psychiatric Ward’. I turned back to see him slowly fade away, like he was an apparition all the while.

Ever since then, I have been sitting in a hospital ward. But unlike usual hospital wards, this one is dreary and cold. They never check my temperature or give me injections. All they do is talk to me, and I detest these sessions every day, aside from engaging me in useless things like gardening, and sewing. I’ve been admitted in an asylum.They keep telling me the same thing that Youngjae was reinforcing- that Yong Guk is gone. He apparently died two months ago, and I have been claiming to have met with him. Like a psycho.

Was I really hallucinating? No. These sessions haven’t had any effect on me.

I am confident that Yong Guk is alive and kicking. I can still feel his breath, and smell his scent, as if I slept with him yesterday.

I now have started planning how to meet with Yong Guk later, after they discharge me. I’m thinking about trying to patch things up, because he never meant to hurt me- I can see that. As I lie on this stone cold bed day- they day he took me to The Coffee Shop. It was glorious, just him and myself.Yong Guk isn’t gone- I’ve been dating him for the past four years. As I lie here, I can’t help but smile. The day they discharge me will be a new lease of life, in both finding my spirit, and finding my love. I can’t wait. I can’t forget the last words he tried to say- I love you. I will set out and regain that feeling of love. The perfect concoction: Park Kyung Min + Bang Yong Guk.

Youngjae’s words have never made sense to me, and they never will.

Yaay! First story entry for the Sky is the Limit contest! Please check it out- its really cool. To be clear, Daehyun and Youngjae admitted her in a mental institution because she was hallucinating about Yong Guk, while he really died two months ago. I’m sorry I’m making everyone die, but you won’t see that it my other feature stories, I promise!!

This story was inspired from the song Coffee Shop, as you would have guessed. It was something I thought they should have done for the video.

The chapter’s name has nothing to do with the story, except for the fact that its from the Coffee Shop song. It is truly the single line that I love the most from that song, and I am sick of naming one shot chapters ‘One’ or ‘I’, so I used that line. I have no idea why I like the line; to anyone else it would seem very weird. But that’s what goes on in my brain. The beauty of the words ‘do you still dislike pickles’. I know- I’m sad.

DISCLAIMER: I DON’T OWN BANG YONG GUK, DAEHYUN, YOUNGJAE, OR ANYONE ELSE IN BAP OR TS ENTERTAINMENT. OC AND STORY LINE ARE UNDER MY INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY.

A few assignments later, Mir knew that he couldn’t keep warding off his ‘feelings’.

Every time Joon sat with him, he became nervous, and hot. His eyes wavered; he couldn’t look him in the face. On the first day, Mir had only been awed by Joon’s outward appearance. Later on, he came to know that Joon was the most funny, energetic person he had ever met. Mir considered himself fairly straightforward and sociable, but Joon had the ability to make anyone his friend, and stick with that person forever. He was constantly amazed by his amicable personality, and his ability to decide his moods according to each situation. He was always a bit of a goof, but he knew when it was time to get serious. He had the peers, and the grades. It was easy to believe that Joon graduated with top grades.

All in all, Joon matched Mir’s personality. Mir also was open to anyone and everyone. He could create conversation with an old grandma and still leave satisfied. And everyone loved Mir in return. He was highly popular, not because of his looks, though they were there, but because of his outgoing character.

Mir was attracted to Joon day by day. Everything about him was a highlight he could not miss. Joon’s friend, Jinki, was therefore, there to purely make him keep up with the homework. As Mir became more and more infatuated, he grew more and more depressed. He could only think about how he loved Joon, and the possibility of him being gay. Homosexuality was not something he disliked, but it certainly was not something he considered to be a normal relationship.

Lee Joon apparently worked as a trainee in J.Tune Camp, and so was unable to talk with or inquire about Mir after school. After seeing that Mir was not writing as energetically as he did before, his teacher called up Jinki and Joon to ask them to talk to him. However, due to the constraints, Jinki alone went to discuss with Mir. From then on, it had been Jinki who asked Mir about his problems. If only he knew it was because of Joon.

Each writing assignment of Mir’s consisted of either preachy, droning topics, or a self-deprecating, helpless tone. He often wrote about his emotions, asking for help from the receiver if it was a letter, or writing pages and pages for diary entries, as it was his best outlet. Never was his topics to a point- it was always very ambiguous, to fit his feelings. He couldn’t reveal that he felt suicidal because of his attraction towards Lee Joon. And so he very vaguely wrote for help and about his depressed self in his compositions.

With these, his personality changed as well. Cheondung was shunned from conversation- in fact, everyone was. Aside from Jinki, and the occasional Joon, Mir ignored everyone. He was not the fun-loving, jovial Mir anymore, but the depressed, indifferent Mir. As soon as he reached home, he took out his assignment and began to vent his feelings. He made one copy for school, and multiple others for himself to keep. He had that much to let out. It was hard to accept that one had a crush and that there was a possibility of being rejected, but it was different altogether when it concerned a boy having a crush on a senior boy.

It all finally crashed down when Jinki and Joon provided Mir with their address. He was apparently free to drop by to talk at any time.

And so, Mir finally decided to confront Joon, and cope with whatever was the outcome.

He reached their apartment and trudged up to their flat.

The front door, was unusually, ajar. Mir turned about he corner to get a better look, but stopped in his tracks.

In front of him stood Jinki and Joon, locked in each other’s embrace, busily snogging each other. They pulled themselves tighter as the lip-lock grew intense. Joon finally opened his eyes to look at Jinki, and carry him inside, but instead, spotted Mir, frozen. His expression was genuinely, surprised and anguished at the same time.

“Mir, um, do you have anything to talk about?” he asked after turning Jinki around to face Mir.

“No- I’m sorry I disturbed you- really,” Mir uttered and dashed down the stairs before anyone could say anything else.

Mir ran back to his house, tears streaming down his face, and went up to his room immediately.

The latest assignment was a poem, and Mir was ready to write it.

The next day, Mir was called to his class room after school. As he walked in, he noticed that his teacher, Joon, and Jinki were waiting for him.

As soon as he saw Joon, he looked down, trying hard for the tears to stop forming. He knew what was going to happen.

He sat down and looked at his teacher.

“I think you have a lot to tell your partners, Cheolyong. Please, express yourself.” she started, as she handed him the poem he submitted. He specifically addressed it to Lee Jinki. It was more of an angry scolding than a poem. “We noticed in your past assignments that you’re very depressed, and mad. Can you talk about it?”

Indifferently, Mir pulled out a slip of paper from his bag and handed it to Joon.

“This is for you,” he said, and stood up. He slowly walked out of the class.

The paper read:

Oh, I can’t tell you about me Who wants to reach your heart Like the starlight hidden behind the cold clouds I love you, in the end, this painful confession That lingers at the edge of my lips slide down in tears.

They understood what Mir was implying, finally. But he was outside. They had to save him.

They were too late. Mir had entered his demise.

Mir stepped into the middle of the road, and stood still. No expression was seen on his face. And in the few moments before the car crashed into him, he thought of himself in Joon’s arms, with his lips on his his. He thought of his paradise. His Joon.

And he smiled. He was finally happy.

Just to clear things up, Mir dies (sorry). Do you like it? And do you see where my foreword was going now?