January 15, 2019

New Beginnings

This amazing thing happens when you put into words what you want in your life, and send it out into the world. I believe it's called the Law of Attraction and I am quickly becoming a believer. I can think of 3 specific times in the last couple of years when I did that very thing and was rewarded for it.

It is no secret that I have had a rough few years. Life is like that...a roller coaster ride that sometimes has us hands in the air, mouth wide open and screaming with excitement at each jolt and bump. Or a ride that has our heads spinning, while clutching our stomachs and hanging on for dear life. The amazing thing about life is that the deep down ugly, hard parts give us a true appreciation for the good parts. I'm going to say something shocking here...I'm glad I had cancer. Now, don't get me wrong, it would be awesome if none of our lives were ever touched by that particular beast and my deepest wish is that I don't have to go through it again and that none of the people I care about or you care about would have to go through it. However, it changed me in ways that are important and good. All the scars I have accumulated in my life have led up to this moment and this person that I have grown into. And I like me. No I LOVE me. I have not always, so this feels important. I am deeply grateful for everything I have and that I am. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin and I have a true understanding of what's important in my life.

I have declared 2019 my year. It feels different. I feel different. I am making myself a priority this year. This doesn't mean that I'm selfish. Or maybe it does. I guess it depends on your definition. I believe there is nothing wrong with choosing to give yourself the same kind of care you give others. I am just now catching onto that and understand completely if you aren't there yet but I implore you to consider the idea. Without guilt. There is nothing wrong with speaking up and saying what you want and need rather than demurring to the wants of those around you.

I decided as a way to kick off this very important year, that I would redo the studio and give myself a space that encouraged creativity with a more peaceful environment because my middle aged brain gets overwhelmed and overstimulated and then shuts down. I am lucky to be married to a supportive guy who is encouraging me on my journey and who even pitched in to help by rebuilding my sewing table! I announced that I was going to spend the first day of the new year here as a way to honor what I want this year to be (more on that later) and that was exactly what I did. It felt so right. The project isn't quite finished, but I look forward to sharing it with you soon. I have a few more odds and ends to take care of, particularly I need to make amends with my curtain fabric.

While 2019 is my year, I am happy to share it with each of you! Put into words what it is you want, heck even leave it in the comments, and remember that you are the boss of your life. Then act like it. ;)

19 comments:

It sounds like you've had to go through a terrible storm, but I'm glad you've come into a peaceful harbor at last. Each of us deserves to be cared for as we care for others in our lives. Congratulations on You!

I loved & needed to hear, "choosing to give yourself the same kind of care you would give others" Quite often that's hard for me; however, today, I called the Dr. and made an appt. that I would have insisted my friends/family make LONG ago and yet, I did not because I insisted I was "fine". My word last year was "self". . I think my word this year is "grace". . .with myself, with others. So happy you are celebrating YOU! We all need to do so, and more often. Joy to you!

Jen---This is odd- and has happened to me many times over the years...but I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you are doing. I get on the blog today and your blog pops up for me. Cancer changes everything and I have heard several people say they are glad they had it because it gave them a wake-up call as to what is important in their lives.God bless you as you walk forward into 2019. You know that all of us support your every move as you lay claim to the joy that should be yours---and, I think, for you that starts in your studio (after your family, of course). Please post often and keep us in the loop as you move forward!!! xo Diana

WOW! You are so right we do need to love and care for ourselves. We spend so much time worrying about and caring for others, that we do forget to care for ourselves. You are so brave to say you're glad you had cancer. I can't imagine anything worse to suffer. I suffer from acute anxiety. As long as everything ticks along day by day I'm OK, but as soon as something different happens I can't cope. Even things like the shop's busier, or the fact that my route to and from work has to alter, until May, because the bridge is closed for repairs, can throw me all out of kilter. There's illness at work this time of year and I get so anxious that I will get sick, that I get sick with anxiety! I have regular medication and diazepam for the anxiety attacks. Mental illness can be as debilitating as physical. I'm very fortunate that I have my religion ( I'm studying to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses ) and prayer, reading my bible and having so many wonderful spiritual brothers and sister, as well as my wonderful husband helps me to get through each day. You're right, so very right. My love and best to you for your future endeavours, Jane xx

It's been 2 1/2 years since my husband passed away. I am a 30+ year cancer survivor. I'm finally learning about who I really am. I've been forced to make decisions on my own and feel confident about it. So far, so good. I praise God for giving me the strength to carry on by myself. I am grateful and blessed. you're doing great!! Carry on!!!

Life is so amazing how we change over the years. I think when we are in our 20's and 30's, maybe just getting married and raising kids, we're in the thick of being everything to everyone - except ourselves. When our kids grow up and/or leave the nest, we slowly come into our own. I believe I'm a little older than you, but I can truly say I have loved being in my 50's. I'm more sure of who I am and what I want. I finally have the time to take care of ME - mentally, physically and spiritually. In the ways *I* want - not what I think anyone else expects of me.

I think most of us go through some pretty darn harrowing things in our lives. Yours has been cancer; mine has been some serious illnesses and surgeries, but worst of all, the loss of my oldest son. However, I would never let this make me bitter. Even though my heart is forever broken and I will miss our mourn for my son until my last breath, I try to live every day with a positive attitude and outlook on life. Life can still be beautiful, as well.

Oh Jen, this is a beautiful post. I think it will resonate with everyone. I too look back at all the crappy times in my life and feel weirdly happy that they have happened. Though not at the time, but it made me see what strength I have inside me; and now when life is tough, I know that I have the strength to deal with it okay.

I think with age comes a wisdom, and you begin to be happy being the 'you' that you want to be and not what is expected of you. I still am not there yet on the 'love myself' part, but maybe by my 60's i'll have hit it!!!!!!

Jen, thank you for this post. I too am a cancer survivor and while I am not sure I feel the same way as you do I am happy you have this perspective. I wish you the very best in 2019. I think making yourself a priority is essential especially after you have been through this really horrible patch, now is the time to take care of yourself and take charge of this new time in your life.

Hi Jen! I just found your blog and I have to say, I'm so excited for you and your future. I love your attitude, I love your writing, and I can't wait to see where your next steps take you. Cheers in the New Year!

About Me

I'm a Village living, decorating obsessed, home chef, gardener in training, creative spirit and lover of the simple life. I am Mom to 2 sweet girls and wife to 1 amazing man. I love my family, friends and all things cottage and vintage. I believe in taking risks and following your dreams. Life is short. Enjoy every moment.