Imagine this on a Friday afternoon, with only a few hours before the weekend starts, sitting next to a rotund coworker who lets off stinky, sulfuric farts at least nine times a day. How gross would that be?

Take a look:

Can you IMAGINE having to be the supervisor who, with a straight face, has to sit down with the flatulence offender and plead with him not to kill his coworkers slowly with microscopic pieces of his bowel movements?

And apparently, his gagging coworkers kept track…

The letter included a timestamped log accurate to the minute, documenting 60 separate-gas passing incidents from the employee in his office in three months, or about 9 per day.

What are they complaining about? He’s well under the average of 14 farts per day by the average human. The offending employee mentioned that he’s lactose intolerant, thus the reason for all the gas passing. Pluueeezz. How easy would it be to stop drinking milk, Fart Man?? I’m sorry, but I truly believe that some folks do this on purpose–sort of like a passive aggressive eff-you to people they hate. I’ve heard stories of people deliberately not bathing or coming to work with arse breath just to piss folks off. I wouldn’t put it past this guy, who’d offered to buy Gas-X to help with the problem, which apparently he didn’t, because he kept up with his nine-fart-a-day average.

One of these men is the fart offender. Anyone else think it’s hilarious that they’re both posing with Pepé Le Pew?

But this, THIS is about the funniest thing EVER! OMG at the written note the management gave to Mr. Chatty Ass-ey:

Several of the employee’s coworkers in the “module,” or work area, had complained to management about the smell. A supervisor, Deputy Division Director and a Module Manager all spoke with the employee on separate occasions about his need to control his flatulence.

“You said that you would try to pass gas and that you would turn your fan on when it happens,” the Module Manager wrote of a discussion that took place on May 18, 2012. “I explained to you that turning on the fan would cause the smell to spread and worsen the air quality in the module.”

I can’t even finish writing this with a straight face. I mean…is this real? How you gonna go to work all day and blind folks with your fart gas? What the cuss??!

Well, as soon as the higher-ups found out about the reprimand, I guess fear of a lawsuit is more important than the noses of the folks who work around Mr. Farty Pants.

Reached for comment, SSA spokesperson Mark Hinkle told TODAY, “A reprimand was issued to the employee; however, when senior management became aware of the reprimand it was rescinded on December 17, 2012. The agency cannot comment further due to privacy concerns. “

But where do you draw the line between being politically correct and saving your employees from sniffing boo-boo gas all day?