AHS: Coven Recap: Living Dead Girl

Zoinks, Zoe! In “The Axeman Cometh” episode of American Horror Story: Coven, the teenage witch not only rings up a long-dead serial killer and reunites with FrankenKyle, she also recruits Misty to resurrect Madison. Does the starlet make a comeback? Read on…

HATCHET JOB | After we rewind to the murder of sax-playing serial killer the Axeman (Magic City’s Danny Huston) at the hands of Miss Robichaux’s class of 1919 (including Newsroom’s Grace Gummer), Zoe uses her predecessors’ Ouija board to ask the spirit world to help her locate Madison. And — what are the odds? — the maniacal musician replies, leading her right to Spalding’s creepy attic playroom. Though the butler lies that he offed the ingénue so that he could hook up with her corpse, Zoe isn’t buying it. But, before she smokes out the real culprit, she wants to give her gal pal a pulse again. Enter Misty, who’s pretty much had it with surprise houseguest Kyle. It’s bad enough that he’s just about the worst conversationalist this side of Myrtle — and she’s buried in healing mud! — but when he smashes the sorceress’ radio during an incest flashback, she’s officially done. (“He broke Stevie,” she cries.) Nonetheless, with Zoe’s help, she manages to revive Madison. (Her first words: “I need a cigarette.” Good one.) Unfortunately, Miss Hollywood doesn’t recall who slit her throat, only that, instead of heaven, “there’s nothing on the other side.”

AV CLUB | Meanwhile, for Cordelia’s sake, Fiona begins undergoing chemotherapy — only to discover that, for her, its first side effect is telepathy. At least when she’s not being tortured by the voices she hears (a la Nan or Sookie), our Supreme gets to delight in the fact that, at last, her newly blinded daughter can see that Hank — or, as she calls him, Jughead — is a scumbag. Cordie doesn’t yet have a crystal clear picture of her husband’s misdeeds, but she knows there’s a redhead, and that’s enough for her. “You will be accountable for every single betrayal,” she hisses, “no matter how deep you think your secrets are buried.” Unfortunately for Mommie Dearest, Cordie also is given a peek at her burning “Auntie Myrtle” at the stake. You’d think that, afterward, neither of their days could get any worse, but do they ever. The Axeman materializes in Cordie’s bedroom and terrorizes her until Zoe makes good on her promise to release him. And then, who should sidle up next to Fiona just as she’s drowning her sorrows and thinking, “What I really want is just to belong to somebody,” but the ultimate lady killer — the Axeman!

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS | Frantic over what Cordelia has figured out — and more so, what she’s likely to figure out NEXT — Hank makes a beeline for Marie Laveau’s. There, it’s revealed that — OMG! — he’s actually a witch hunter that she hired ages ago to do away with the descendants of Salem! (In fact, that’s why he pursued, then murdered his redhead — he’d eavesdropped on her Miss Robichaux’s interview with Cordie and learned that she was a witch!) Mind you, Marie is NOT happy to see him. Firstly, walking through her front door isn’t exactly discreet. And secondly, she’s paying him to “clean house, not play house.” To that end, she orders him to march on back to Miss Robichaux’s and “bring me their heads — all of ’em!” — or else!

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? At the very least, you’ve gotta be thrilled that Madison is no longer just Spalding’s baby doll. Were you surprised to find out that Hank was in cahoots with Marie Laveau? How will Fiona deal with the one-two punch of both Madison and Myrtle being back among the living? Have you managed to work “witch up” into casual conversation yet? And am I the only one who was bummed that we didn’t get any Delphine this week? Hit the comments!