Fertility Formulas: 5 Secrets You Need to KnowBonus Report

Diet, exercise, alcohol, and stress all influence your body’s fertility – but these factors only scratch the surface. From a holistic perspective, there are deeper issues to address as you piece together your fertility puzzle. But first, you have to back up, and take a look in some places that might surprise you!

Secret #1… Conception is more than just a purely physical event that relies solely on what’s going on in your body.

There is a huge psychological and emotional component to your body’s fertility levels and your overall ability to conceive. Paying attention to your past and present emotional health will have a direct impact on your body’s functioning during your conception attempts. This is especially important to know if you: • Have been violated sexually – clearly or subtly… • Hate your body, or tend to be hard on yourself… • Have trouble eating what you know you should, making time for self-care, finding balance after work, etc… • Are worried about how to balance career & parenting, while keeping your sanity… All of these things, and many others, impact your body’s fertility – whether you realize it or not. If you think of fertility only as a physical issue (Hormonal levels, Sperm health, Ovulation, Eggs, etc…) then you will tend to only seek out physical interventions. And your chances of getting pregnant will only be so high. But if you recognize all the emotional contributors to fertility, and pair physical interventions with emotional ones, then you increase your chances of getting pregnant dramatically. Don’t you like the sound of that? It’s like the difference between flying a jet with a few of your engines in engine-failure versus all of them on, charged, and fully operational. You may think that as long as you get pregnant, the journey doesn’t matter. But if whatever you’re doing is characterized by stress, tension, financial drain, being stretched too thin, etc., it makes it harder for your pregnancy attempts to work! Doesn’t it make sense that what’s really good and healthy for you will support you in getting pregnant – and carrying a baby full-term? So take a good look at your emotional health right now, and if overall you’re feeling anything less than joyful, trusting, relaxed and vital, then stay posted… Secret number 2 will help shed some light.

Secret #2… The pregnancy, labor, and birth stories of your family are stored in your body.

Your family’s stories – the good, the bad, and the ugly – are in your body because all of this information is stored in your DNA. So if your mom experienced any number of problems during her pregnancies or births, for example, those traumas sit in your body, too, and may be impacting you way more than you’d like. Why does this matter? Because even if you desperately want to get pregnant, you might find that in your subconscious mind, there’s a huge set of fears there holding your back… and they’re not even really yours! They’re based on stuff that happened to your loved ones! Such as: • Multiple miscarriages during a particular trimester • Being scared to give birth • Holding the “I might die if I have a baby” story • Fearing relationship issues like, “My partner might abandon me” You see, you were born knowing a lot more about what your mom felt during pregnancy than anyone gave you credit for. And although you probably didn’t remember most of those experiences after the first 3-4 years of life, the body never forgets! And what’s more, it doesn’t just hold information from your mom… your body is tapped into everyone else in your family, too. We won’t go too much into the science of all that right now (the scientific basis exists). Suffice it to say for now that if you feel that there’s a lot of angst, tension, or difficulty around getting pregnant that’s “unexplained” family stories are the best places to look first. Family stories are held in all our bodies. Sometimes they help us, and sometimes they hold us back. For all those family beliefs that having a baby is hard/dangerous/painful/identity shattering (and the list goes on) here’s what you need to do. 1. Figure out what they are and how they’re holding you back (bring them to the surface of your awareness) 2. Figure out what you REALLY believe, when you’re tapped into your heart 3. Use any healing tools you’ve got access to, and then 4. Feel yourself balance more and more with your new, improved and highly-supportive belief.

Secret #3… Cultural attitudes towards women and birth have a major impact on you when you’re trying to get pregnant.

There’s an indigenous tribe in New Zealand who reports that their moms generally enjoy an incredibly short labor – and by short I mean 10-15 minutes. Skeptical? Well, the whole birth culture in this tribe is different from anything we’re used to. Birth is thought of in very spiritual terms, and while our regular practices are generally medically based, their birth practices are “holistic” – my word, not theirs. Part of their prenatal routine includes a woman’s birth partner, the baby’s father, in a big way. He is responsible for giving mom body rubs every day during her pregnancy. He massages 24 different points on the inside of her thigh up through her groin area, points that are believed to open up her body more, making birth much easier. In this culture, if a mom’s birth goes “long” everyone first looks to dad… Interesting, isn’t it? How different would things be if our culture widely embraced practices that supported women in feeling receptive, trusting and safe throughout pregnancy and birth? Instead we tend to have some blind spots when it comes to womanhood and motherhood. For some of you, these cultural “shortcomings” really impact you because of the fear and tension that comes every time you think about them: · Female reproductive organs are gross – not to be touched or talked about, except when absolutely necessary. · A “pussy” is an insult for a weak man. · PMS is normal and just one of the many burdens of being a woman. · Periods are downright disgusting. · When women get pregnant, they should continue working as if nothing has changed for as long as possible… full-term is ideal. · Childbirth is hard, and incredibly painful · Moms don’t know what they’re doing during pregnancy/birth and must defer to modern medicine to avoid complications. The list goes on. You hear these unsupportive messages everyday in your conversations with friends, through the media, and pretty soon at least some of them have hooked in and started running through your mind. And once they’re hooked into your thoughts, they begin to impact your emotions. Fear causes tension & inflammation, and after some time, symptoms show up in your body. I repeat, anything that causes you regular stress or fear will create physical symptoms & blockages in your body, even if it otherwise seems so subtle! Think about this. Most women in the U.S. experienced the peak of their body image at the age of 9, after which it steadily declined! If we hate our bodies, are overly critical of our flaws, perfectionistic about our weight – and all of this is fed in many ways on a cultural level – then we can expect more and more problems with our reproductive systems. And that’s exactly what we’re starting to see on the increase.

I know, some of you might want to argue with me on this one. But I stand strong in my viewpoint that fear is not ever our natural state. Having an excessive level of fear might be fairly *normal* for moms-to-be in our culture, but it is not natural. Tapping into any energy of fear when you think about mom-related fantasies (maybe you’re trying to problem solve ahead of time about what kind of a mom you’ll be, how you and your husband will divide the chores, what will happen at work…) has a huge impact on your fertility journey. Initially, fear affects fertility levels because of the part it plays in inflammation and poor circulation, etc. After conception, it impacts how you hold your pregnancy and whether you can relax enough for an easy vaginal birth - while simultaneously creating a “safe enough space” for your baby to do their job of being born… but that’s a whole other topic. On top of motherhood (or sex)-related fears, most of you have stressful lives; you live with your body in a continual state of low-grade stress which means, of course, your stress response system is constantly active. In other words, your body is operating in crisis-mode way more than it’s designed to, which has some problems: • Blood is constantly being directed more towards your arms, legs, and absolutely essential functions like breathing (and away from your reproductive system) • Your hormone levels will start to change • Cortisol production will stay high in your body for prolonged periods of time (you’ll know this is happening if you crave “comfort” foods a lot) • You will begin seeing things more and more through “fear” colored glasses Stressful lives plus fears about motherhood don’t mix well when it comes to fertility formulas. Fortunately stress can always be detoxed out of your body, and persistent motherhood fears can be neutralized.

Secret #5… The best way to handle fears is to deal with them directly.

Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s sufficient to pretend your fears don’t exist by ignoring them (mind over matter) or by charging right through them. Most fears don’t go away when we avoid, or step over them. They either need to be fully transformed - mentally and physically - or they will continue popping up. As we’ve already mentioned, when your body stays in fight or flight mode for too long, you’ve got a chronic situation in which the blood and resources your reproductive system needs for optimal fertility are being directed elsewhere. All your body is trying to do, when it thinks it’s in crisis, is prepare to fight off a predator or run to safety. Reproduction takes a physiological back burner as long as your body’s stress-mode is activated, even though you may know logically there’s no life-threatening danger occurring at all. Fears. Impact. The. Body. Physically. What your body needs is for you to reset things back to peace and calm. Then it can go about getting into baby-gear. If you’re struggling with your fertility, you need to do a fear exploration to see what might be going on underground. The worst thing you could do is just avoid the whole situation… It’d be like if there’s a bad smell coming from the closet where your water heater is. You’re scared it’s going to be a leak, which would be expensive, require new flooring, etc. But NOT addressing it doesn’t do you any favors, short or long term. Some people, to stay with this metaphor, figure it’d be easiest just to turn off the water in the whole house. But is that really easier? I know it’s human nature to put off things that seem unpleasant. But your body really needs you to neutralize those fears.

If you want to learn more about YOUR fertility success factors, or need timely strategies for your fertility journey, lets talk! Click here to apply for a free Fertile Foundations Discovery Session. Tell me a bit about your fertility journey goals, and see how I can help.

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