My Dream Tonic Ball (and Other Ideas)

I ask because I was watching a Fall Out Boy concert on TV the other day, and I realized they’d been playing arenas for going on couple of decades and I’d never listened to them. And after listening for a couple of minutes…let’s just say that Fall Out Boy does nothing for my jaded rock ears.

Meanwhile, Tonic Ball has been covering great artists for nearly as long as Fall Out Boy has been around. Tomorrow (November 18) is our fifteenth year celebrating the songs we love to raise money for the good work of Second Helpings.

Because this is a milestone anniversary, we’re revisiting some of our favorites. But most years, choosing the acts we’re going to cover starts with a sort of battle royale in which friendships are strained, tastes are questioned, etc.

Who will we cover next? Here are some ideas.

The Top Ten Acts Tonic Ball Will Almost Certainly Cover at Some Point:

AC/DC
Aerosmith
The Beach Boys
The Cars
Johnny Cash
Aretha Franklin
John Mellencamp
Pearl Jam
The Police
The Ramones
Van Halen
The Who

Why Not?

My Dream Tonic Ball:

Jimi HendrixVenue: Radio Radio
Why have we not done a Hendrix show? Surely, there are enough guitar heroes in this town, and the catalog is incredibly strong. It’s certainly defensible to assert that Hendrix, by blending R&B with psychedelia, invented heavy metal. Obviously known for his revolutionary guitar style, he was also an amazing producer and a monstrously talented songwriter. I would love to hear Everything, Now do “1983 (A Merman I Shall Turn To Be),” and John Strahl and Doug Henthorn can play three of whatever they want. This room might combust spontaneously, and we would all be fortunate to go up in the flames. Song I want to cover: “Crosstown Traffic.”

The Magnetic FieldsVenue: Fountain Square Theatre
I dream of doing a cabaret-style show of 69 Love Songs with a band and three or four vocalists trading numbers—maybe do about 20 songs, or just run the whole damn suite of songs, three shows in three nights. (If anyone among you feels the same, and has the financial wherewithal to back this show, call me. You will not regret it.) Instead, I’d be tickled to cover Stephin Merritt songs at Tonic Ball. I’m not sure exactly why you need the big stage for this; it’s kind of a small band. I just like the staginess of that room, and I’m thinking maybe we could put a bunch of comfortable furniture onstage and keep the lights low and put out a few more tables. Song I want to cover: “Papa Was A Rodeo.”

XTCVenue: The White Rabbit Cabaret
Well, you knew this was coming, didn’t you? Come on. These guys have a back catalog that doesn’t quit, and it runs from twitchy post-punk through angular pop to beautiful Beatlesque psych-pop (especially if you allow their work as The Dukes of Stratosphear, which, of course, we will allow). Andy Partridge and company haven’t performed for decades, so putting an XTC set onstage would be a sort of public service. It’s punky and groovy enough for the White Rabbit. Note to My Beautiful Wife: I guarantee you’ll like these songs better with someone other than Andy singing them. Song I want to cover: “No Thugs In Our House.”

BlurVenue: The Hi-Fi
Remember when Oasis vs. Blur was a thing? No? Maybe that’s because it was so stupid; music is not sports, and thank god for that. But if you were going to make a choice at the time and you put your money on Oasis, the joke was on you. Oasis had a handful of dumb, fun/pretty songs, while Blur were a survey of British pop past present and future. I’d be happy to listen to a parade of great local bands cover Parklife­—and, yes, we would allow Gorillaz covers, and it would be a great good thing to bring Tonic Ball more hip-hop influence, and a set of Blur songs would make the whole Murphy Building bop up and down. Song I want to cover: “To The End.”

WilcoVenue: Pioneer
You can call it Dad Rock if you need to, but be nice. I can’t say I’ve loved most of what the band has done in recent years. But Being There and Summerteeth and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot still hold up pretty spectacularly. Let’s do this at Pioneer, where we can spread out a little and the loud songs will play as beautifully as the quiet ones. And My Beautiful wife can sit/stand/dance in the front row, and everything will be right with the world. Song I want to cover: “Pot Kettle Black.”

What are we missing? Do you really want to cover Fall Out Boy? Bright Eyes? Jane’s Addiction? STP? Seriously?

7 Responses

The whole TB concept is just such brilliant fun.
I’d like to hear the vocalist who could cover Ann Wilson/Heart. Then maybe she could shoot for Karen Carpenter?
In the “I’m not complaining, just askin’ cause I wanna know” dept:
Why is Sir Elton reduced to Why Not?
Where are The Tubes?
Thanks,
KA

I don’t think anyone wants to cover Elton John, Kerry. I’d be happy to be wrong about this. Most rock bands are guitar oriented, and they don’t think of covering Elton John. Too bad. Lots of killer songs back there.

FIVE ARTISTS NOT MENTIONED ABOVE THAT WOULD BE AN AWESOME TONIC LINEUP:
* Hank Williams – I’m kind of amazed this one hasn’t been done before.
* Chuck Berry – This one, too.
* The Bee Gees – Turn the theater into Studio 54 and let’s have some fun.
* Bruno Mars – now hear me out on this one. I think the move to have a contemporary artist on the bill is a good one. I like Bruno and admit I like Bruno because he generally makes music that sounds like other music I also like. Plus his stuff is generally accessible for guitar bands, which are still the bulk of the Tonic lineup.
* Cher – you KNOW “Just Like Jesse James” would melt a room.

NEW RULE ON RECYCLING ARTISTS
Previously covered artists can be thrown back in the mix 10 years after they were covered. Seriously, now that it’s up to 5 venues, what does it hurt? (OK, this one is personal because I missed the first three years and I’d love to see a Gram Parsons stage.)

MOTOWN
Five stages, one night, the sound of young America. Think of it like an extension of the year the Beatles took over.

POTLUCK STAGE?
The “keep ’em guessing” stage could either be dedicated to performing songs from previous year’s artists -or- to songs by artists who’ve never been on a Tonic bill. Y’know, for all of us who really want to show off our knowledge of Bryan Adams’ catalog.

MY DREAM FIVE
KISS and Neil Diamond – the “Black Diamond” stage requires performers to play one song from each artist. Plus it means Ken only has to avoid one venue.
CCR
Willie & Waylon
Aretha
The Who

There are still some BIG big hitters that need to be covered/butchered/interpreted including Hendrix, Wilco, and Whitney Houston but I will always be staunchly against themed stages (eras, labels, genres). Tonic Ball is still for the people by the people so I’d like to see more inclusion of more female megastars and maybe even ones from this century!
my 5:
Hendrix
Whitney Houston
Fugazi
Billie Holiday
beastie boys