I have been told by many that I am a hippy when it comes to my parenting style. Others would call it ‘Attachment Parenting’ and I say I have always gone with my instincts. If it felt right then that’s what we did. So after two children I have breastfed, bottlefed, co-slept, strict routine, flexible routines and everything in between. I have been a working mum and now a stay at home mum. My children have shown me that how you parent does not mean they will always do as you expect or do what their big brother did. They are both two very different but fiercely independent little boys. I am proud of my boys. Henry as a baby and toddler was a breeze. His baby brother, well he did not sleep for first 10.5 months of his life, hated his cot and generally doesn’t like the word No. He just laughs at you. I have parented them no differently but they have responded in different ways.

I have recently been lucky enough to read the brand new ToddlerCalm book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith and reading it has been a revolution. For a start it reminded me that following my instincts is fine. Reading it also made me realise something about my parenting style. I do not follow Attachment parenting methods because I’m a hippy, reading this book reminded me about my degree. I spent 3 years studying Education and this included a lot of child development and child psychology. I have been subconsciously parenting my children based on what I already knew about their brains and development. I think this is why I like this book when I have hated other parenting books by so called experts. I know too much about Behaviourism and Pavlov’s Dog’s for example to realise my children are not going to follow the same patterns so called baby experts think should work.

What I like about this book is that Sarah acknowledges that all children are different but she also reminds you as parent that they also go through the same developmental stages. By reminding parents of what a toddler is able to do it helps you to re-evaluate your expectations. My 3 year old for example wants the 1 year old to share toys. Isaac doesn’t yet know what sharing is! As a parent I am not going to fight to get him to share and instead offer Henry alternative toys.

The ToddlerCalm book makes you think from your child’s perspective and this is brilliant for helping you realise where you are going wrong and how it would make them feel. Thestrategies included are a must for any parent of a toddler and reading it has helped me think about how I am going to continue to bring up my children. There will be no sticker reward charts in this house! Researched based and with a detailed bibliography this book fits with my ‘I need the evidence’ way of thinking. The book was developed after the launch of ToddlerCalm classes. I have not done the classes but I gained a lot from simply reading the book, therefore please do not think you must have done BabyCalm or ToddlerCalm to be able to use this book, you don't. Congratulations Sarah on an amazing book which I will be recommending to all the parents I work with. The CRUCIAL toddler parenting strategy should be the mainstay of parenting toddlers as it simply makes sense to raise a toddler in a way that they understand rather than treating them as mini-adults.