12.04.2008

It turns out I had a right to be concerned about the high dose of steroids I was put on over Thanksgiving. I'm now suffering from an infection caused by the steroids, and I'm in pretty bad shape. If I don't notice a large difference between today and tomorrow, I will have to cancel the surgery on the 15th. I know it sounds like I should have more time, but I also have the vascular procedure that was to happen on the 10th, and in my condition it could never happen. My face and neck is swollen and burning, my throat is pretty swollen, I ache all over and I have a fever; I definitely would not clear for any procedure at this point. I'm also down for the count at the moment, unable to work or do anything around the house, which means I can't even prepare to be leaving next week.

I attempted to go into work yesterday and only lasted an hour before I went back home. I was so ill that I had my mom drive me to the doctor, and to the pharmacy for another prescription that is to help only one of my main symptoms - my throat. While that has helped a little, I decided to stay at home today as well, as none of my other symptoms have improved.

The problem with such a high dose of steroids in a short amount of time is that it really messes your entire body up. Everything changes in your system, including your body's defenses. My problem with the metal reaction has been that my defenses have been too strong and attacking the once healthy parts of me. Now I have no defense and I'm now I'm left with this odd infection/reaction from the drugs and their end result. From my own knowledge, and from what I've heard from medical professionals I know on a personal level who unfortunately can't treat me, the hematologist never should have put me on that high of a dosage; he should have put me on a much lower dosage for a longer period of time. My first impression of the doctor was that he was all over the place and an idiot, and I guess I was right. I don't know if he was trying to play some game, but at this point it looks like he cost me my surgery in 2008. What breaks my heart is that he normally deals with cancer patients...and I can only imagine what hell he's made their lives.

I know that what's meant to happen will happen, so if the surgery is canceled so be it. There is nothing I can do at this point.