iPhone 4: One man's heroic video journey

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The iPhone 4 comes out today. I knew when I woke up this morning I felt a disturbance in the Force! Anyway, John Biggs, noted gumshoe, is en route to the fancy Apple store in Manhattan to pick up his very own device, and he’s been been sending us surprisingly funny video updates of his journey. Come, let us view these videos over a spot of tea.

Part One

Here’s the first video: the beginning. My only hope is that a bigger, stronger man takes John’s little sunglasses. Oh, that would be so great.

Part Two

The suspense of it all! It seems the R train isn’t running from Biggs’ block in Brooklyn—HOW WILL HE GET THE IPHONE? This is what happens when the City of New York is flat-broke and there’s no money to, you know, ensure the proper functionality of basic infrastructure.

Part Three

Oh, God, now he’s wrapped his entire family into this charade. With the R train broken and probably never working again, John has elected to drive to the Apple Store in his fancy automobile. I can guarantee that Biggs’ car has those spiny rims that were popular 10 years ago.

Part Four

The escape. The line wrapped around the block, Biggs is forced to retreat in order to ensure content appears on this blog. His anger is limitless.