In
an incredible moment of bad fortune you will beat the world sneezing record on
17th. Ensure you have enough handkerchiefs in which to direction your violently
phlegmy exhalations.

Even
more unfortunately, your marathon sneezathon will begin during a high powered working
breakfast: under no circumstances take the temporary lull in your nasal eruptions
to encourage you to restart eating - you will lose the client either way, but
the dry cleaning bill will be much reduced.

A
toy tiger or lion is set to make this month zing with jungle based uncertainty
especially if your are wearing a loin cloth or leopard style underwear.