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My 8 Year Old Is Afraid of Going to the Lu

My 8 year old girl is still afraid of going to the lu by herself. She always waits for Mum or asks her younger sister to go with her. I honestly donít know what to do. Is this just a phase? Will she outgrow it?

Please could you give us a little more information on this so we can help to answer your question fully? What does your daughter do when she is at school or away from her family e.g. playing round at a friend's house? Do you think there is a particular aspect of going to the loo that she is frightened of? In the hearing clinic I came across many children who did not like loud noises in the bathrooms e.g. the chain flushing or a hand-dryer in a public toilet. Is it only going to the loo she is afraid of?

You could try leaving the bathroom door open and staying nearby (talking to her) and gradually move further away each time she needs the loo. You could also put some fun bathroom toys in there to try and encourage her that the bathroom is not a scary place and there are special toys in there.

I like LJ's ideas. Do share more about what you think may be causing the problem (she had a bad experience once, or she saw something on TV or a movie that scared her) and more about when this problem occurs and how she handles it when she is not home.

She is 8, so if she's reading, you could put a good book in there that is only for her to use when she's in the bathroom. Usually I don't suggest reading while using the Lu, but in this case, it may be a good thing to take her mind off of where she is, and to help her relax.

I'd also suggest that you start by leaving the door open and standing outside the door. As soon as she's sitting down, you could say something like "I'm going to get something from my bedroom and I'll be right back." Then walk to your room, get something (a book, a shirt, anything) then come back to the door with that item in your hand so she knows you were telling the truth. This establishes trust.

Next time you can either move away from the door a little more, as LJ suggested, or go somewhere else in the house for a little longer, but always returning. Let her know that she can call you if she needs you, and if you hear her call, go to her right away. Again, establishing trust, that you will be there for her and there's nothing to be scared about.

Please post back and let us know your thoughts about these suggestions.

My daughter is afraid of the dark. That I am fully aware of. At school, they are not allowed to go to the Lu by themselves. They go in pairs. I already tried that trick of opening the door wide and letting her see that I am outside. Other times I leave her and tell her that I am just a shout away. What she does is that she calls on her little sister to stay with her in the Lu.