Britney Spears Has Nude Photos, Too

Back in September, Fernando Flores, a former bodyguard for Britney Spears sued her for sexual harassment and claimed she used to expose herself to him until he brought her cans of soda. So basically the most plausible lawsuit you could think of. Anyway, sources connected to Fernando are now saying he has provocative photos Britney texted him which might explain why her legal team fought – and failed – to prevent the suit from being tried in civil court where they were concerned “personal and confidential information” might be released. I just assumed she secretly had a third kid and ate it, so this is entirely deflating for me. The Sun reports:

“They are really explicit images that will shock and disgust the majority of her fans. Fernando says he can prove the photos were taken on Britney’s phone and sent to his mobile. He says she sent them last April when she was coming on to him on a daily basis. He left the following month.
“Some of the pictures show Britney with the camera between her legs. Others show her in provocative positions wearing lingerie. There are a few where she is naked, exposing herself in a way that she clearly hoped would make him aroused.”

LAWYER: Alright, Britney, we need to know anything this guy might have, so don’t be afraid to tell the truth. We’re your lawyers and we can’t testify against you.
BRITNEY: Correct, your honor.
LAWYER: Does Mr. Flores have naked photographs of you?
BRITNEY: Nope. Just my bergina.
LAWYER: *sigh* Let me rephrase that: Does he have photographs of your body parts?
BRITNEY: Like mah titties?
LAWYER: Yes. That would count.
BRITNEY: HA! Hell no. Sean ain’t even reach that high. Y’all is crackin’ me upppp.
LAWYER: Wait. You mean Sean took the photos of your genitals?
BRITNEY: ‘Course he did. I didn’t want it frownin’ or nothin’. Y’all ever take pictures down there? Shit’s hard.
LAWYER: Oh, Jesus. Britney, this is extremely important. Is Sean visible in any of the photos?
BRITNEY: Maybe the ones where he’s shakin’ me a margarita, I dunno. I ain’t his mama.
LAWYER: …. Let’s play a game: Who wants to change their name and move to Mexico?
BRITNEY: Wheeee!!

Not sure here either…was just getting used to her new look and she goes and changes it up on us! What happened to the sunkist, the starbucks [and don't point to the stain as evidence - that could've been months ago], the cigs, the lotto scratch-off residue, the perma-highbeams unencumbered by a bra, poking thru your wafer-thin tank top to say hello to the ground? Now you’re washing your hands and throwing on a hoodie?? Nooooo….