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Lie #1- “McDonald’s is closed today”

As if the little lies are not bad enough, this bad mommy takes it one step further and THEY get in trouble for my lies! An example-

After a busy day secretly purging all of the crap that has accumulated in the kids’ playroom- broken kites, lone action figure limbs, and worst of all- the fast-food toys that come with every kids meal- one of my offspring happens to ask the location of one of these said toys.

Child 1- “Mommy- where is “Hoppy”-the-green-jumping-frog-that-had-the-spot-on-his-cheek-with-the-left-side-smashed-in-and-the-tear-in-his-foot-that-we-got-last-Friday-the-17-th-from-that-Chick-Fil-A-next-to-the-Target”?

Bad Mommy in her most condescending tone- “I don’t know, honey. You need keep better track of your things” (with a shaming, blaming look just for good measure).

… Instead of the more accurate admission “Honey, Mommy threw all that sh*t away”!