The Register's Paper Aircraft Released Into Space team has been at a bit of loose end since last October, when our Vulture 1 aircraft went down in history as the greatest ever paper plane launch in the history of the known world.
Understandably, the bright minds behind the audacious high-altitiude intitiative have been a tad …

Another cultered southerner on Teesside!

Couldn't agree more. Originating from that mecca of understated culture, Essex, and continuing my missionary work in bleak wilds of Teesside I can confirm that this abomination is best left alone. The basic recipe involves flattening the fillet by throwing on the floor and rolling a fat geordie lass upon it until it acheives the required shape.

God how I miss proper kebabs....

(and yes I'm only this brave because she who must be obeyed - a native - doesn't read el reg...)

A Geordie Lass?

Clearly a tourist in Middlesbrough. Which reminds me of this description of a Victorian occupation, long-since consigned to the annals of history....

"*Dung Boy..

This was the lad who swept up animal manure off the streets using a pan and brush. He then slung it into a bin. Locally, these bins were taken to a spot near the coast where they were shamefully allowed to pile up higher and higher. In time, the mountain of stinking ordure grew so big that some bright spark in Whitehall decided to give it County Borough status and call it Middlesbrough."

Geordie lass?

IT angle?

That'll be the chips. I think, on reflection, I'd rather eat afterbirth...

But, what's in a name? Just applied for a job here where they use microwave to measure water content of 'biosolids'. Turds, to common folk, from compacted sewage. They call the resulting putty-like 'product' - cake. Shudder.

Works both ways

Isn't Scotch Corner...

... called that because it's usually where the invading Scots gave up and went back home?

I know they got a bit further a few times, but the call of the haggis as it roams free (clockwise only, obviously, because the anti-clockwise ones are mute) around mountains in the far reaches of the Great Glen doesn't carry much further than Catterick Garrison ;-)

Scotch corner

..is a junction on the Great North Road (A1), where traffic to Scotland had to decide if they were heading to the West Coast or East Coast, due to the fact there weren't that many roads or British Snail/Network Rail around at the time.

Or perhaps its where you asked yourself "Have I still got 300 miles to go? Better have a Scotch then..."

chicken fried steak

Sounds a bit like something I once had a US diner ... decided I wanted steak but was put off the standard steak by the fact that it came with 3 eggs which seemed excessive and chose and alternative of "chicken fried steak" ... this turned out to be steak fried in breadcrumbs with a white sauce on top ... I rapidly regretted not facing up to the eggs!

N.b. its not just steak that can be "chicken fried" as I believe that "chicken fried chicken" is an alternative.

Surprised

Given the septics legendary calorific meals, I'm surprised it wasn't a massive steak wrapped in cheese and whole a chicken, then fried. Then covered in cheese. And fried again. Then served with chips and mayo. And cheese. And maybe something called "Salad". With cheese in it.

well,

Chicken-fried steak, as far as I know, is a Texan invention, though I used to see it at cafeterias in Colorado. I don't think the white sauce on top is standard.

"Chicken fried chicken" is not in fact an alternative. State health department uniformly require human cooks; shabby as some of the restaurant kitchens are, their hygienic standards are far above those of the coop.

Once, in a diner I saw

RE: chicken fried steak

The "white sauce" is called country gravy. Usually the CFS is bigger than the plate! Served with a side of mashed po-tay-toes topped with country gravy. Washed down with a large iced tea, also topped with country gravy*.

Ugh

You brave souls

Perhaps the environment we live in makes us immune to the potential aftermath of a pebble dashed toilet. It will certainly be an interesting experiment.

There is a little variety for the more adventurous parmo consumers among you in the form of the Mushroom Parmo, The Hot Shot Parmo, The Bolognese Parmo, or, for the man with a serious death wish, there is the culinary equivalent to a tactical nuke - The Parmo Pizza Pie; a 7" or 10" parmo or your choosing on a pizza base available from Mighty Bite.

I heartily recommend a Hot Shot with galic sauce.

I salute you brave southerners. Rest assured that nearest hospital is only a 5 minute drive from the town centre.

Fire because, well, get a loo roll in the fridge lads.

PS. do not make the mistakes of other visitors to our strange shores and order a full parmo. This will surely kill you. Only get a half :-)

Re: @robert heffernan

Aussie Parmy

The reason I posted this recipe is it's a damn sight healthier than the Deep Fried, mass of cheese stodge mentioned and pictured in the original article. It's also what you get for the most part in Australian pubs.

The bacon on top is not a whole strip of bacon, just the eye piece, it has little fat, lays flat and is smaller than the chicken portion.

The cheese is to taste, if you want a lite healthy parmy, use low-fat cheese and a smaller amount.

As for the breadcrumbs soaking up the oil, I use olive oil when I cook it, no need to use any of this heart-clogging vegetable oils or lard, fat or dripping. You DEFINITELY do not deep fry it.

South Aussie parmy to be exact

I was under the impression that this was a South Australian thing. The rest of the country regarding us as "schnitzel eating freaks" to quote a bar manager of my aquantaince who hailed from New South Wales. Mind you, the last time I was in Melbourne I spotted a sign outside a pub advertising "parmas" so it may be spreading. The same pub advertised Coopers on tap.

If you are in Adelaide, get yourself to the Earl of Leicester Hotel in Parkside. They do one of the best in town. Don't order a liar size unless you are mad - one of those fed three of us.