Funny Inspirational Quotes

Funny inspirational quotes... the reason I am starting off this page with those three words is to improve the chances this page ranks high when people search Google for those three words, with the goal being traffic to this page and the ultimate goal being wealth and fame for me, Buster Guru. But disregard all that. Because you will love the inspirational quotes below. They will change your life, and you should abandon any thoughts and beliefs or your own and just follow these funny inspirational quotes. And also do not miss the 25 best funny quotes ever of all time perhaps, which are serious...

Funny Inspirational Quote: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the ability to change the people I cannot stand. Amen."- Buster Guru

"Do your best! Chances are great you won't succeed, most people actually don't. But hey, loser, at least you did your best."- Buster Guru

"A young boy and his grandfather walked hand-in-hand through the woods.'Why does everything have to die, grandpa?' the boy asked.'Because life is a pile of dogshit,' the grandfather replied."- Story by Buster Guru

"A young boy walked with his father on a country road at night.

The young boy stopped, turned to his father, and asked, “Daddy, why was I put here on earth?”

The father looked at his son, then stared up at the stars, his breath curling into the cool air.

Finally he turned, placed one hand on his son’s shoulder, andreplied, 'Because, son, I screwed your mother.'"- Story by Buster Guru

"I hate it when people judge other people... People who do that are all small-minded hillbillies who should just go to hell."- Buster Guru

"If you're Zen happy and you know it clap one hand."- Buster Guru

"Backwards spelled forward is backwards."- Buster Guru

"If people treat you unkindly, STOP, breathe deep, and remember this... They are only reacting to their own unresolved problems, it truly has nothing to do with you. Then give them the finger."- Buster Guru

"I'm 94 years old. I've smoked my entire adult life, drank at least 3 glasses of alcohol daily, eaten fast food meals five times a week, had plenty of unprotected sex, always tanned without sunscreen, and gave a damn about praying or meditating. Well, actually I'm 26, but all the rest is true."- Buster Guru

"Decide what it is you really want to do in this world, the one thing that, 150 years from now, will still cause people to exclaim, 'He was here, he did something AMAZING!' And then grab some Tostitos and go watch ESPN. That's enough self-delusional bullshit for one day."- Buster Guru

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"You're only as old as you feel. And you look like you feel pretty damned old." - Buster Guru

"Not maxing out your new credit card is like getting a hot girl in bed but then only feeling her up."- Buster Guru