Tuesday, February 28

In one of the Bond threads it was mentioned that this would be a subject for another thread, so let's. My favorite Bond girl would have to be Xenia Onatopp from Goldeneye, because I loves me some Famke Janssen.

The latest Rolling Stone magazine has a substantial article on Scientology. Much of it will be familiar to those who know about the organization, but there's some new stuff, too: namely, the testimonials of children of Scientologists.

Saturday, February 25

UPDATE: Most pieces on Knotts are focusing almost exclusively on his Mayberry connections. It's certainly the highlight. But only a few in the hated MSM have bothered to mention Knotts' presence on "Three's Company" and his underappreciated movies, including the Kafka-esque "The Incredible Mr. Limpet." (Knotts plays a man who turns into a fish.) Leave it to E! to wrap up the man's career properly.

Florida lawmakers are finally getting down to the business of the people: deciding on the official state pie. But is it key lime or pecan? Panhandle legislators are saying that the key lime is stale, and they want pecan. South Florida solons are pushing for the key lime, not only for its taste but also its history.DULLARD TAKE: Can't we all get along? Pie is pie; it's all good. As any patron of House of Pies would tell you, it's hard to choose, but we'll try.

Pecan has gooey goodness, to be sure. Yet the key lime, with its mixture of tart and sweet, seems to better reflect the nature of the state. Plus, it's special: Several states across the Southeast would likely tout pecan as their pie, but no one but Florida can claim the key lime.

Self-described "out-there freak" Dolly Parton says it's OK just to be who you are. The country/gospel superstar is up for an Oscar for her song on the "Transamerica!" soundtrack. The tune, "Travellin' Thru," may be remixed for dance clubs.

The same morons who caused a ruckus in Ohio will march on Orlando this weekend, this time taking their racist/fascist message through a predominately black neighborhood south of downtown. Counter-demonstrations are planned, but some say it's best to ignore these thugs altogether.

DULLARD ADVICE: Stay home and listen to an old Dead Kennedys record. (NSFW)

Thursday, February 23

The new Ray Davies album, "Others People's Lives," is out, but the reviews are mixed, as reflected in this one from The Boston Globe. But the NYT reports that his fan base, however small, is still fiercely loyal to the point of being a little bit scary.

Maybe it was for suggesting that the queen is dead, boys. Maybe it was for saying that meat is murder. Maybe it was for dreaming of Margaret Thatcher on guillotine. Maybe it was for singing that America's belly is too big, as he did on his most recent studio album. Or maybe it was for supporting John Kerry in 2004.

Whatever the reason, former Smiths frontman Morrissey claims that he's been targeted by the FBI (among others) in a possible anti-terror investigation. He also has given up on Los Angeles and moved to Rome. He calls the City of Angels "a crashingly naive place." Finally, the "Suedehead" singer says he was terribly depressed by the demise of the Smiths back in the 1980s. Who woulda thunk?

By coincidence, these odd statements come just ahead of the release of Moz's newest disc, "Ringleader of the Tormentors." It drops in early April.

Despite all of this silliness, "The Queen Is Dead," which marks its 20th anniversary this year, is still one of the all-time great albums.

Wednesday, February 22

Sorry, this was worth a post rather than just a comment... I don't understand the angry fans boycotting Daniel Craig, as most of them think Brosnan was a good Bond. Ha.

Anyway, here is my take, best to worst:

Sean Connery: The best, especially in the first three.

Timothy Dalton: Awesome, awesome, awesome. Tall, dark, handsome, surly, angry. I'm not even sure that Connery could have been as convincing as Dalton was when 007 resigned from the British Secret Service and stood up to "M".

Roger Moore: I think he was great in his first two/three, then the writing and him just got too damn goofy.

George Lazenby: Not bad, but looked a little goofy. Of course, he had to wear a kilt and pretend he was goofy, even gay, for half the movie. But he was in the best James Bond movie ever, so it's hard to diss him. And he got to shag Diana Rigg (Mrs. Bond).

Pierce Brosnan: Too damn skinny and runs like a girl. Michelle Yeoh played a better Bond than him. And so did Halle Berry. The funny thing is that he played a far better Bond in the remake of The Thomas Crown Affair.

I am hopeful about Daniel Craig. He's got enough of the villain in him to maybe play it a little more like Dalton, and enough suave to get some of the Connery back in it.

And of course I am going to go see the next James Bond. I'm a man, aren't I? Plus Vesper Lynd is in it, who the original Bond Martini is named after.

Angry fans are lashing out at the selection of Daniel Craig as the next James Bond. They're calling for a boycott of the latest installment of the series, "Casino Royale!" That will be easy for me, since I haven't seen a Bond movie since "Golden Eye!"DULLARD RATINGS FOR BONDS

Sean Connery: Rocked. (Is there any doubt?)George Lazenby: Didn't see him. (Did anyone?)Roger Moore: So-so. (Saddled by increasingly stupid scripts and advanced age.)Timothy Dalton: So-so. (Underrated, still not great; brought a surly side to the role that made Bond interesting as a character again.)Pierce Brosnan: Sucked. (Never bought into him as Bond. Sorry, but he will forever be Remington Steele.)

Am I the only Dullard annoyed and confused by this murder case involving a guy named Entwistle? Every time I see that name in a newspaper headline or on the Web, I think of the dead Who bassist, not the latest idiot to be made famous by Court TV.

(Re: last night's episode: Consensus on various message boards is that the heiroglyphs on the counter are symbols for the various other D.H.A.R.M.A. stations, and that they form the Egyptian command, "Die!")

Tuesday, February 14

Life & Style magazine reports that happy couple Thomas Mapother IV and Katie Holmes are on the way to Splitsville. Reps for TomKat deny it all, but this is usually how celeb breakups happen. C'mon: Life & Style magazine couldn't be wrong, right?

It's barely newsworthy that Justice Scalia doesn't see the Constitution as a living document, although he did call the people who think that way "idiots." What is noteworthy is the third-person reference in his speech:

Scalia does have a philosophy; it's called originalism. That's what prevents him from doing the things he would like to do.

Michael Brown of FEMA fame is back in the spotlight. He's apparently not happy about his portrayal as the scapegoat for the botched federal response to Hurricane Katrina.

"Brownie" (as famously dubbed by President Bush) has told a congressional panel that the White House knew when the New Orleans levees broke — and it was much earlier than previously disclosed. He is casting doubt on the claims that the administration was caught off guard by the levee disaster. It's all turning into a "who knew what, and when did they know it" scenario.

"Brownie" made for some great one-liners for the late-night comics. He was the bumbler, the easy butt of easy jokes. Certainly, he and FEMA were guilty of incompetence that went beyond comedic and into the tragic. "Brownie" had to go, and he did.

What's been odd from the start of this fiasco is the relative inattention to Brownie's boss, Michael Chertoff. As head of the Department of Homeland Security, Chertoff was in charge, and Brownie was his subordinate. Yet Chertoff escaped the brunt of the late-night jokes and the newspaper editorials.

That is, until now. As head of Homeland Security, Chertoff is responsible for its core task: to ensure that the nation is ready for disaster, be it manmade or natural. His department is charged with preparation and communication, with special attention to eliminating the federal-state-local problems in dealing with the unexpected. Under Homeland Security, agencies at all levels are supposed to work together, talk to each other and protect the American people.

Homeland Security's wretched performance during the Katrina disaster and recovery has exposed the failure to meet this mission. The Dullard Gazette, therefore, calls for Michael Chertoff to resign, effectively immediately.

It seems like there's a Beatles-related auction at least once a week. This one, offering Lennon's half of the lyrics to "A Day in the Life," at least has a site that gives you a good look at what you're bidding on.

Thursday, February 9

Ghost Town is playing a short half-hour set at Universal Bar & Grill in Studio City (though there's a chance we'll get to play 2 sets, if something "unfortunate" happens to one of the other bands on the bill....)

Nick Kristof of the NYT is holding a pledge drive to help pay to send Bill O'Reilly to see what's happening in Sudan. The columnist had earlier challenged the Fox commentator to visit the stricken land, and O'Reilly responded that he didn't have time.

Monday, February 6

GAME: A few trick plays by the Steelers in the second half made it entertaining, but overall, this was a sloppy game, riddled with false starts and instant-replay reviews. Of course, the team I was pulling for won, so that helped. Dullard rating: So-so.

ADS: Yeah, yeah, they're the reason you're supposed to watch even if you have no interest in football. It's remarkable how this idea has been sold to us: "If you do not watch these ads, you will be culturally adrift! Don't be an outcast!" The commercials themselves were pedestrian if not flat out boring, with the best of the lot probably the Leonard Nimoy bit for Aleve. Dullard rating: Sucked.HALFTIME: The Rolling Stones were perhaps booked to give back some edge after Sir Paul's polite performance last year. They delivered a hits-friendly, predictable set of three songs. I was a bit surprised that they played a bluesy track from the new album (which no one cares about), but not at all surprised that ABC used the delay to nip out the naughty bits. Yet, when Mick took off his jacket to reveal his pasty, saggy arms, the lasting image was at least as disturbing as Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction from two years ago. Dullard rating: So-so.

Overall Dullard rating for Super Bowl XL: So-so.

Footnote: For those looking for a primer on so-called American football, the BBC has a good one.

Thursday, February 2

I don't like, however, that contestants are allowed to soak their sandwiches (or hot dogs, in those contests) in water as they eat them. Who eats like that? I demand realism in the "sport" of competitive eating.