Thursday, December 25, 2008

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Nothing in me can believe it's been five years since I brought home the best Christmas present ever.

That's right...my teeny, tiny, newborn infant turns 5 today.

When did all this growing up happen?

She was always a little silly and wild.

Daily, she reminds me that parenting is the most humbling job.

And most rewarding.

And it makes me cry more than anything else in this world.

Do you know what I love about her?

She is the exact same today as she was the day she was born.

From her first smile, her first silly face, and her first tears...nothing is different.

I'm including a lot of profile pictures because her cheeks? They are edible.

It seems like years ago and yesterday that she got her big girl bed. And MY, she was excited.

Probably because she wasn't actually a big girl.

And here?

Do you see how that cheek just dangles from her face?

YUM.

Another trait (inherited, unfortunately) that I love about Lilly is that she's a mess.

(That's not Sharpie on her teeth--just some black frosting from a soccer ball cake.)

When I pictured having a little girl, I thought it would be days of dress-up, twirling, and ballet.

Um, not so much.

It may be all of those things some day, but for now she's more into weapons and burping and coloring and playing waitress and reading and The Wizard of Oz and being my precious sidekick while Jackson is at school.

She's been growing up as I literally hold her hand, and yet I look back through pictures longing to return--just for a moment--to the days when she toddled around and spoke her first word (it was "hi").

The adventure, the spunk, and even the occasional seriousness are all parts of her that I love.

It is hard to pull off sophistication and thumb-sucking all at once.

But if there's one girl who can do it...it's Lilly.

We've let her plan a full day of celebrating, so we're off to breakfast.

Did I mention that I love her to death?

I'm going to have my pancakes with a side of precious, 5 year-old cheeks.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I was all prepared to participate in BooMama's Christmas Home Tour, but I have realized I am lacking several key elements.

But still...did you see this guy in my wreath?

He is gorgeous. I have no idea what kind of bird he is, but I have ruled out cardinal and bluebird.

And toucan.

(And flamingo.)

(I know more birds than I thought I did.)

But I find him to be very lovely in my Christmas wreath.

A home tour is best when the pictures are good. I have lighting and focusing and aiming issues, so pictures are not meant to be.

As if taking pictures on a regular day isn't hard enough, throw in a snowy day and some Christmas lights and my pictures look like I held the camera an inch away from a flourescent lightbulb--with the flash on for full effect--and clicked.

But just to be clear, I was trying.

Because I am all about mediocrity, here are a few high(low)lights.

My kitchen tree:

Sorry about the blinding, angelic light from the window.

Oh, and that's my old tree in the background (God rest her soul.)

Let me zoom in:

This is one of my favorite trees because all of the ornaments have to do with FOOD.

And utensils. To make the food.

This SnowWoman (she is very empowered) and I are starting to become the same shape.

And how cute are these little baking cups I found at Hobby Lobby?!

I know, I swore my Christmas decorating budget was ZERO DOLLARS this year, but in a weak moment I found these cupcake papers.

It would have been irresponsible and reckless to leave them at Hobby Lobby, especially seeing as they were only 75 cents.

Of course, that doesn't account for the other $30(ish) dollars I spent that day, but it's not everyday you can just wander into a giant, outdated, ugly, disorganized store WITHOUT BAR CODES on their merchandise, wait in long lines, ingest fumes from China and walk out feeling wonderful.

Miraculous, really.

For those of you (and there are plenty, if my email inbox is any indication) who feel I am permanently harming my children without a main Christmas tree, rest assured we are decked out in other rooms.

I don't think I ever posted the photos of the kids' Christmas trees.

It is a little underwhelming, but know that Jackson and Lilly beam with satisfaction when they lead friends upstairs to show off their masterpieces.

Jackson went with a football theme:

And Lilly was having some light issues.

Um, yeah.

The bottom half of the ol' pre-lit, pink feather tree is OUT.

Clearly she compensated for lack of lights with some heavy ornamentation.

That concludes the Christmas Tour of Homes that I'm not even linking to BooMama because of SHAME.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Apparently, Brad did not get the memo regarding appropriate and inappropriate times for photography.

Can I get a shout out for the Christmas 2003 pajama bottoms with horizontal candy cane stripes, YO!

I was sacked out from all the Christmas tree calamity and Lilly was merely held hostage.

Brad loves capturing "candid" moments when I am not prepared to be photographed for the blog.

And you may not believe this, but he asked to do a guest post today.

Brad wanted to make sure that everyone in the blogosphere knows that the Ghetto/Homemade/Rubbermaid Tree Stand was NOT in any way to be blamed for Tree Collapse '08.

Y'all, I can blog about The Man's boxer underwear being held together by unraveling elastic without denting his ego, but to inadvertently question the craftsmanship of a DIY project is out of bounds.

For those of you that haven't seen the man in motion, just know that his middle name is "overkill."

By way of example...earlier this year I asked (demanded) for Brad to construct some shelves for the One Million Miscellaneous Items we store in the basement.

I was just looking for him to throw together some boards to keep my precious home decor items and his precious youth soccer trophies from being trampled by The Mob.

Personally, I would've used hot glue and paint and the shelves would've been CUTE.

Instead, My Main Toolman constructed shelves of such outstanding quality that they will surely outlast the foundation of this house (which isn't meant as a backhanded compliment, seeing as the builder had to re-pour it a few times.)

To any brave soul willing to ask about shelf construction, Brad gazes into his eyes and lovingly holds his hand, while guiding him to his basement shelving masterpiece where he proceeds to demonstrate that these shelves are strong enough to hold a 170 (COUGH COUGH) pound man.

{Edited to add: Brad wants y'all to know that EACH SHELF can hold a grown big ol' adult. Not the whole thing.}

(FOR THE LOVE!)

So just to set the record straight...it was NOT the tree stand engineer's fault.

{I can feel Brad's breath on me as I type this and make sure he is blameless.}

It was the weight of my excessive front-side only ornamentation, coupled with a Dino Tree and bendy-bolt stand that caused the problem.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Do you ever have moments when things are so messy that instead of freaking out and cleaning, you just take pictures and then post them so that the rest of the world will feel better about their situation?

Before I go on, I'd just like to wonder aloud why builders do not include NFL-caliber LOCKER ROOMS in houses?

I need about 300 square feet of cubbies, showers, gear-storage, and shopping bag holders between the garage and the rest of the house.

This next photo might seem harmless:

Until you realize that those are panties on the table with day-old eggs.

I have no words.I like to think of our current status as "inventory."

We are simply displaying every single thing we own just to remind ourselves that we still own it.

Either that or the cleaning lady has been at Starbucks and the mall instead of cleaning her home.