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This site contains variations on a joke designed to offend, told with explicit language, sex, violence and disturbing imagery to see which teller can top the other. The Aristocrats Joke is intended for readers 18 years and older. If you are underage or faint of heart, leave now.

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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So the guy walks over to the door and backs up a bus of seniors, followed by a bus of nuns. The seniors get off the bus in wheel chairs and walkers, one old Jew is trying to push to the front of the line when someone yells out “look free progen” he trips and fall when some nun walks up to him pulls his pants down and starts fisting this old Jew laying on the ground, just then the police arrive serine’s whaling, when the first cop walk in he’s is jumped by this old women that was eating out a nuns cunt just seconds ago. She grabs the cops nightstick and shoves it up the nuns cunt not knowing the nun has her period, so now the nun is pissing blood all over the place pouring out and spitting like a rain bird sprinkler, when one of the old men gets on his knees thinking its borchest and starts lapping up the blood like a dog off the floor.
The police sergeant walks in and fires a shot in the air breaking the fish tank, and now there are fish swimming in this nuns blood while the old guy is still licking the floor and now eating the fish thinking its fresh sushi, just then some priests are driving buy and ask what going on here, one of the seniors who’s gay guy pulls out the priests cock and starts sucking him while another priest starts fucking the guy that’s sucking the priest. Now all the seniors see this and they start eating each others asses while forming a conga line. The police join in to form the world’s first ass eating seniors and cops conga line. ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox news arrive at the same time while they all go live except Fox who’s news team decides to join in because we all know how perverted they are they decide to call their kids and have them join in also.
Because to work at Fox everyone knows you must pass a perv test to get on the air, so now its being covered nationally by all three real networks and the guys from queer eye are called in to do the play by play. Now the cops try to stop this wild orgy and they start shooting everyone, the Fox news guys see this as an opportunity to fuck the wounds of the dead and dying, while the female new anchors start puking their guts all over while watching this. When the kids arrive they think the puke is a giant slip and slide and start sliding in the puke, well the kids get sick from the puke and start shitting and pissing everywhere, the persist see this as a great opportunity and start fucking all the kids while eating their shit and piss. The network executives are watching this and all three decide to make it a show to be aired every night on all three networks because we know there really isn’t anything better on except for Huff the show that aired on Showtime but that doesn’t count. The three networks put there best writers on it and collectively and independently decide to call the show.

The Aristocrats

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"