E.C.H.O.E.S. of Praise: Evidence That God Might Not Like Us

April 26, 2011

Why?

Why do I keep torturing myself by watching these videos? Anyways…

The evil twins are back spreading misery and soul-crushing music. In the first video Misty and Kristy share their testimony in which God frees them from the shackles of Lyme disease. Now, I don’t want to make fun because I am positive that Lyme disease is not a fun experience to have. However, one of the nefarious twins conclude that God freed them from their disease declaring, “But God said, ‘You let them go, that they may worship me.'”

Apparently, God freed Misty and Kristy from the shackles of Lyme disease so that they could do this:

So what if we take the devilish duo at their word? What if God did free them so that they could ‘praise’ him? This would raise some profoundly disturbing theological questions.

First, could we posit a loving God, omnipotent and all-powerful, who knowing full well what sort of ‘music’ Misty and Kristy would create, who would then allow them the freedom to do so? Couldn’t he have healed them from Lyme disease but then made their voices mysteriously disappear?

Second, if this is the sort of music that God enjoys it raises some serious concerns about heaven! I mean really, it would be a lot more like hell enduring anything like what these two do for eternity.

Third, if that song is somehow divinely inspired, how bad is the Holy Spirit at writing music?

It’s either that or, just maybe, they went to the hospital, took a bunch of medicine, stayed there for a long time, really struggled with all of the complications of Lyme disease, but eventually got better. Then convinced themselves they had a divine ‘gift’ of praise and started writing songs and blamed God for their music to somehow give it magical legitimacy.

I am reminded of the old joke: “The Lord gave me this song.” “Yeah, do you think you could give it back?”

I went to a youth retreat at which the featured minister/musician explained/excused the repetitive nature of his praise songs by pointing out that in heaven the saints would all sit around the throne and sing “Hosanna! Hosanna!” … as if this were something to look forward to!