Right-Wing Liberal Party Members Convinced That Man Who Bungled Leadership Challenge Would’ve Won Them Victoria

As the fall-out from the Coalition’s disastrous performance at the weekend’s Victorian State election continues members of the party’s right-wing are convinced that the man who bungled his own leadership challenge, Peter Dutton would’ve led them to a different result.

“It wouldn’t have ended like this if Peter Dutton was in charge,” said a Conservative Liberal spokesperson. “Peter would’ve stuck it right up ’em. Sure he probably wouldn’t have won in conventional terms at the ballot box but you just know that he would have put in place martial law.”

“He would’ve called in the army to guard the restaurants so that ordinary every day people like me who have one or 20 negatively geared properties can go out and get a bite to eat in safety.”

Minister Dutton could not be reached for comment as according to his press secretary he was in his lair busily plotting the next move of his dark army.”