Well, friends, it was a big weekend around here. Us SR ladies got together to fete our very own Belle En Route, along with Carlos Danger and two other birthday kiddos. Life got a bit crazy — shots were taken, burritos were consumed (SOL SOL SOL), and dignity was lost left and right. Injuries were reported, but we all survived. Somehow. Lost items include a pink thong and a shot glass necklace, so drop us a line if you find those somewhere…

Now this kind of weekend? I fully support. That is not the point of this article.

The point of this post is to discuss something that I Don’t Support. This is a controversial one amongst my acquaintance, but I firmly put this item in the undesirable column. What am I talking about?

UGG BOOTS.

Excuse me while I barf, if only because I drank so much this weekend that my stomach is confused.

I NEVER understood the appeal of these boots. I mean, I get that they are warm. I went to college in the Midwest. I KNOW cold. But there are many other boots that are JUST AS WARM that don’t make you look like a tourist with kankles.

Another problem with this as “winter footwear”? Absolutely NO traction. I saw so many ladies fall on their butts while trekking to class in these things. i respect the need to wear full protective clothing when it is 20 below, but this is just not OK. And have you seen how disgusting these boots get after a few trips through the snow? Get real boots.

The worst part about Uggs, though, is how UGLY they are. Like, who thought that was cute? And they do absolutely nothing to one’s overall appearance. again, just my opinion here, but I really think that even the prettiest ,thinnest girl automatically looks chubbier in these boots.

It’s been a while since we’ve had an I Don’t Support That article, the first (and only) of which being Capital Jill’s Butthole Edition. But after my experience last night, I realized that it was time for another round.

Last night I went to a Caps game on my first date since breaking up with my ex. All the SR ladies pointed out that it was an ideal location for a first date since it would be crowded and loud, so if the conversation was slow it wouldn’t be awkward. I was nervous, since I haven’t been in this kind of situation in literally years… Fortunately, I had a great time! We talked all night, meaning we barely paid any attention to the game (which was fine since neither of us were rooting for either team). He was easy going and sweet, bought all my drinks, and he definitely insinuated that there would be another date soon.

There was just One. Big. Problem.

His nails.

They were long.

I don’t mean scary-creepy long. But they were certainly longer than they should have been. And I caught myself staring at his hands more than once. It was so weird to see them like that, considering in every other aspect he was perfectly well groomed.

Now I’m fine with many au naturel body features (minus B.O. That is never okay). In fact, I find things like chest hair or facial stubble very attractive in a guy. But for the love of God, please keep your nails trimmed! It is So very simple. There is no bigger (initial) turnoff than a guy who has longer nails than me!

And you know that if he isn’t keeping his finger nails in line, his toes are most likely even worse. There is no way I want to be accidentally scratched in the middle of the night by a man with claws.

My point is, fellas… if you plan on taking a lady out on a date, particularly a first date, make sure that ALL of your grooming is in order. Right down to your fingers and toes.

Because believe me…

I’m going to notice.

As Capital Jill said… My verdict has been issued: I don’t support that.

The first in a series of things that Capitol Jill does not support. Everything is fair game, dear reader.

*(To preface this post, it should be said that I don’t judge others for their sexual proclivities. But I still might have an opinion!)*

I think it’s all well and good that some people enjoy having their butthole touched. Played with. Pleasured. Or whatever people do with those. But that’s just the thing… SOME people. Not ALL people. Namely not this lady.

I am not one of those “some people.” If I have invited you into my bed, and things are happening (i.e. the girls are out, and you’re allowed to touch them), and you decide to head anywhere near that general area… well…

STOP REQUESTED. Now please GTFO.

Or at least ask first, so I can firmly turn you down once and for all.

And no, I don’t think its one of those things you “just have to try.”

My verdict has been issued: I don’t support that.

Thanks, Mama June, for being gif-tastic and awesome.

Stay tuned for the next “I Don’t Support That, Volume II – the Ugg boot.