Welcome to Big Old Goofy World . . . a place where I can share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams about this rock that we live on and call home.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Pssst . . . Got Walnuts?

I never imagined the day would come
when I would have to slink around in the dark corners of the crime-infested
corners of communities to get my hands on . . . walnuts!Yeah, that is what I wrote . . .
walnuts.Following a link on a friend’s Facebook post, I learned that the Food
and Drug Administration (FDA) of our nation’s government has declared that
walnuts are drugs . . . not even legal drugs at that.At least that is what they wrote in a letter
to Diamond Foods, a major producer of
walnuts.This stuff is so good, I couldn’t
make it up . . . you can read the article for yourself at http://www.realfarmacy.com/walnuts-are-drugs-says-fda/.

Apparently the problem comes from the
fact that Diamond Foods has jumped on
the “healthy” bandwagon to sell its nut products to an ever-growing populace
demanding healthier products to eat.Diamond Foods proclaimed—based on nearly
a hundred research articles by leading scientists—that walnuts can improve
vascular health and may even reduce the risk of heart attacks.In other words, walnuts are good for a person’s
health.The issue is that none of these
scholarly, researched-based proclamations have been approved or endorsed by the
FDA.Because the FDA has not approved
these claims . . . approved the research backing them . . . they have
threatened to seize the company if it does not stop making such statements to
the public.As far as the FDA is
concerned, walnuts are an illegal drug.

Now, I am not a big fan of
walnuts.They are not one of my favorite
nuts.They have a sort of bitter taste
to my taste buds; but, I can put up with a few of them showing up in my food
every so often.The wife, on the other
hand, finds walnuts a necessity . . . especially around the holiday seasons of
Thanksgiving and Christmas.We are about
to enter into the stretch of the holidays, and she is going to be wanting her
walnuts.I can picture it now, I will be
wandering the darken streets of the big city down the road . . . hanging out in
obscure parking lots . . . looking for the contraband.Psst . . . got walnuts?I imagine, because they are illegal and in
demand, the price of street walnuts will be outrageous.Look what the FDA has created . . . good
citizens, resorting to a life of crime, to get walnuts.

Silly, isn’t it?

There are cries that this is a
conspiracy of some sort that involves both the junk food industry and the
pharmaceutical companies . . . it figures.I think I read in Time
magazine recently that they were behind the assassination of President Kennedy
in 1963.These are not entities to mess
around with . . . they are big and powerful . . . lots of money, and lots to
lose if people actually started eating and living more healthy.It is rumored that they have their lobbyists
deep in the bowels of the FDA.With much
to lose, they are pushing the FDA to stomp the living crud out of any product
that proclaims longer and better and healthier lives.

Walnuts are not the first healthy food
to take a hit from the FDA.Apparently
the makers of pomegranate juice and green tea have been slapped around by the
FDA with similar threats for proclaiming healthy benefits from using their
products.I am surprised that bananas
haven’t been outlawed yet . . . bananas are one of the best sources of
potassium—especially for older folks.Isn’t the old adage, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”, cause
enough to gain it on the banned list of the FDA?It won’t be long before illegal fruit and nut
markets will be springing up in obscure locations--where the police can’t find
them, to sell all those health food junkies their necessary fixes.

Now, I am not a health food nut . . .
nope, far from it.I am one of the last
holdouts in a family in which everyone else is turning to healthier foods.My children and their spouses are all going
organic and healthy.The wife is going
organic and healthy.They are forcing
this regime of healthiness on me against my will . . . telling me it is for me
. . . to make me healthier . . . to live longer . . . because they love me. Less
red meat, more chicken . . . more fruit and vegetables . . . more nuts . . .
and, it has to be organic!I am starving
to death!My taste buds are
rebelling.

And now, my family is forcing me into
a life of crime to keep them fed in such a way that they remain healthy. So, maybe, just maybe, there is a silver
lining to this dark FDA cloud . . . none of the family would want to see me go
to jail over buying illegal foods no matter how healthy they might be for
us.Hey, we are law abiding citizens in
this family . . . and, illegal is illegal.I know . . . it is a long stretch of the imagination.The fact is, the FDA is silly.Silly in proclaiming something as absurd as
walnuts to be an illegal drug.But, what
do we expect . . . after all it is the federal government we are talking about
here!

Psst . . . got walnuts?Apples?Bananas?I’ve got cash if you
have the stuff!