Inventing the news so you don’t have to

One month on from The Oscars details are coming to light about scenes of absolute mayhem at The Vanity Fair ‘After Party’ as the winner of the best actor Oscar, Gary Oldman, seemingly overdid the celebratory champagne.

Shocked onlookers watched in disbelief, as wearing a Homburg and having changed out of his tuxedo and into siren suit, Oldman strode over to the DJ, pulled the sound system plug then took to the stage and began giving a rendition of the ‘We will fight them on the beaches’ speech to a stunned crowd of celebrity onlookers.

But the real trouble started when he took out a large cigar and lit it, immediately activating the venue’s automatic sprinkler system and prompting a mass evacuation of bedraggled superstars onto the street outside.

Meanwhile Oldman, oblivious to the pandemonium his actions had caused, then refused to come out of character and demanded ‘an audience with the King’ or else he would not leave quietly.

Later and when all the uproar had died down, Daniel Day-Lewis who had been present at the party warned all would-be future stars and starlets about the very real dangers of totally immersive method acting for a role. He told reporters: ‘You can become so submerged in the character that it can end up taking you over, although personally I don’t think, as a technique, that it’s all it’s cracked up to be.’