Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #132
May 25th, 1998
WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours.
Location: Evansville, Indiana.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.
- Nitro Girls.
- Schiavone announces that Sting and Lex Luger will be facing Sting and the
Giant. To illustrate how this can possibly happen, Schiavone points out
the events of Thunder last week. They then show us footage from Nitro and
Thunder to set up the scenario: in short, the NWO version of Sting has
returned. This whole segment takes almost EIGHT minutes!
- Raven, the Flock and his bodyguards hit the ring. Raven vows to remain
Diamond Dallas Page's worst nightmare. He then whines to Saturn, who
apparently dumped him last week. Raven begs for Saturn to come back,
going so far as to fire the Flock in an effort to lure him back. Lodi,
who has just returned from an ankle injury, asks if he's really fired?
Raven DDT's him. Kidman and Horace Boulder, the other two Flock members
in the ring, keep quiet.
Glacier brags about how great he is and how awful Saturn is as they go to
break. Is anyone else sick of the false letterboxing WCW uses for all
their pretaped segments? I know I'm sick of seeing all these people
squished so they look like flat-headed midgets.
- Nitro Girls.
- Clips from Thunder recount the situation between Booker T. and Chris
Benoit. Everyone is squished flat by the letterboxing again, just as they
were during all the above Nitro and Thunder clips. I've put up with it
for several weeks, and finally just had to mention it. It's stupid, and
it makes watching Nitro and Thunder all that harder. It's bad enough that
they had to copy the WWF in doing it, but the WWF never used it as much
as WCW does. They use it for almost every pretaped interview or flashback
footage. Some of you may be asking why am I complaining about such a
small thing? Just imagine going to see a movie in a theater where the air
conditioning is turned on too high, or the sound is too low. It's the
little things that make for a comfortable viewing experience. Right now
WCW's production techniques are as irritating as finger nails scraped
across a blackboard. Angles, interviews and match quality aside, it's the
simple way in which WCW presents their shows which make them such a chore
to watch. Being three hours or longer doesn't help, either.
Back to the show, which has very nearly hit the 25 minute mark without
any action in the ring.
- FIT FINLEY vs. MIKE ENOS
Before the match Mike Tenay announces that Benoit and Booker T. will
square off in a "Best of 7" series of matches. The winner is the number
one contender to the TV Title. Mike Enos, meanwhile, gets a TV Title shot
without any fuss tonight. Someone explain that one to me.
The crowd amuses itself during this one by playing with a giant beach
ball. A hearty boo is heard when security confiscates it. Enos, in the
match, blows a simple powerslam. Instead of landing on top of Finley, he
falls wrong and drops Finley on his own legs. I have no idea if he meant
to do that or not. Moot point, though, as this allowed Finley to come
back with a Tombstone Piledriver for the win. The fans were about 50/50
for and against Finley in this one.
A squished Savage clip takes us to break.
- "Mean" Gene Okerlund hypes the hotline. He's interrupted for a moment by
a fan somewhere blowing a boat horn. You can bet that pissed him off.
- GLACIER vs. SATURN
Hasn't Saturn already kicked Glacier's ass? He does so here again, though
he lets Glacier get in far too much offense, looking far too good in the
process. Anyway, the match itself is secondary to an appearance Raven
makes in the aisle. he's attacked from behind by Hammer. Hammer then
jumps up on the apron, only to get a Cryonic Kick from Glacier. The
distraction is what allows Saturn to come back and nail a Death Valley
Driver for the win. Raven, meanwhile, DDT's Hammer on the floor, then
whines to Saturn "what about me?" These love spats can be so embarrassing
sometimes.
More squashed-head Savage footage. I think I'll just stop mentioning
these. They don't amount to anything anyway.
- The Giant, Brian Adams and Vincent head to the ring. The Giant challenges
Kevin Nash to a fight. Nash eventually meanders out and calls the NWO
trio "Hogan's fluff boys!" (That's a porno reference, just in case WCW
tries to claim the moral high ground somewhere down the road.) A brawl
breaks out, with Nash getting help from Konan and Lex Luger. Curt Hennig
and Randy Savage also come out. Nash tosses Luger a red-and-black NWO
Wolfpac shirt. Luger puts it on and joins the NWO. The crowd goes nuts.
The announcers go nuts. Larry Zbyszko seems to be the only one that has a
problem with Luger joining the NWO.
HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko.
- CHRIS JERICHO vs. EL DANDY
WCW doesn't even bother to show El Dandy's name on the screen when he
comes to the ring. Jericho wins about a minute later with the Lion Tamer.
Jericho then calls J.J. Dillon to the ring, calling him a number of
names. Once he's there, Jericho claims the microphone must be broken.
He then gripes about losing the Cruiserweight Title, since Dean Malenko's
name was never on the list of entrants for the 15 man battle royal.
Dillon tells him that because of the nature of a battle royal, Jericho
couldn't clear an opponent in advance anyway, so it doesn't matter who he
faced. Dillon tells Jericho to find some kind of precedent for this
before he'll reverse the decision.
They replay Luger's joining the Wolfpac heading into the break.
- KONAN vs. LA PARKA
Konan seems to have very little fan support. A few moves from La Parka
aside, the match was all Konan. He wins with the Tequila Sunrise. To his
credit, Konan gets the fans into it a little by the end of the match.
Moderate crowd reaction for the win, though the fans still haven't seemed
to grasp the notion that they're supposed to cheer for him because he's
with the Wolfpac.
- Nitro Girls.
- They play a home video from Kanyon, AKA Mortis (AKA Chris Canyon). Kanyon
vows to keep attacking Raven, all because Raven spurned Kanyon's advances
in the past. Hey, don't blame me if this angle is so blatantly draped in
homosexual overtones.
- "Mean" Gene interviews "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Randy Savage then comes out
with Elizabeth. He and Piper engage in a battle of wits, of which there
can obviously be no winner. Bret Hart then comes out and thanks Piper for
reversing the decision in his match against Savage, talking as if he and
Piper were somehow in cahoots in some scheme against Savage. The Macho
Man buys it hook, line and sinker. He and Piper come close to fighting,
but Piper defuses the situation by making Savage a deal: after they fight
Hogan and Hart at the next PPV, if Savage still wants a piece of Piper,
then those two will fight.
- BILLY KIDMAN vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA
A great match between these two. The bulk of the match is slow and back-
and-forth, with neither showing the advantage over the other. After a
spot on the floor, they then take turns with sequences where one would
hit a big move, cover for just a two count, then try another move, only
to have their opponent pull out a reversal or counter. The last few
minutes drew the crowd in and built to Juvi hitting the 450 Splash for
the win. This was different than the usual string of unconnected high
spots. They focused on their mat work, incorporating the high risk moves
at just the right times. Nice ten minute or so match--one of the best on
Nitro this year.
- Nitro Girls. Nitro Party Video.
- For some insane reason they decide to remind us of how Scott Steiner
betrayed his brother Rick. They show the footage from three weeks ago
(squished flat via letterbox) of Scott pretending to be hurt (although he
really was hurt) and tricking Rick Steiner into being beaten up by Brian
Adams (although Rick was already injured). Schiavone gives us some
nonsense story about Scott being so good that he's now gone to Hollywood
to make movies. What a colossal time killer.
- Eddie Guerrero comes out for the next match. Chavo Jr. chases after him,
saying it's his match and he'll do his uncle proud. Eddie tells him to
beat it. Chavo then hops in the ring, saying he'll take the match. Eddie
threatens to slap him, but that doesn't work as Chavo willingly offers up
his cheek to be slapped. "I know ... this is where you slap me!" See,
Chavo's using reverse psychology. I can't believe three months of this
angle building up has been for little more than this one sight gag.
- CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. vs. ULTIMO DRAGON
... and I can't believe we're seeing the Dragon fight a Guerrero again.
Talk about beating this into the ground. He has nothing to do with the
angle, so why not have him fight someone else this week?
Chavo wins. Good match, though one totally devoid of any real suspense.
Chavo then wants to fight someone else. He challenges Eddie, shoving him
in the chest. Eddie acts like Chavo's gone nuts. "Mean" Gene then tries
to get a few words from Eddie, who says Chavo needs counseling. J.J.
Dillon then comes out and announces that the two Guerreros will face each
other at the next PPV. Chavo is ecstatic, while Eddie acts afraid of his
loco nephew. I can't believe it took them three--almost four months, to
set all this up. The crowd's only interest in all this was to
occasionally chant "Eddie sucks!"
HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- DEAN MALENKO vs. LENNY LANE
Lane's gimmick is that he has a nice tan. My Dad often notes that Lane
looks like a smaller version of Lex Luger. Ironically enough, it's Dean
Malenko who wrestles a Lex Luger-esque match here, letting himself get
beat up until the very end, until he applies a Texas Cloverleaf for the
win. Good reaction from the crowd for the victorious Malenko. It seems
the key to success in WCW these days is going away for long stretches of
time: just look at Malenko and Sting. (Ric Flair's gonna be over huge if
and when he comes back.)
- BILL GOLDBERG vs. JOHNNY ATTITUDE
Johnny is one of those jobbers who stink up WCW's other non-live shows.
He's now shaved his head and looks like Goldberg. He even acts like him.
The real Goldberg comes out and kills him (figuratively speaking). Win
#90 for the big G. (I'm still trying to figure out if Johnny having "NYC"
and "Attitude" on his trunks is some kind of shot at the WWF or not. I'm
surprised he wasn't called "Johnny 3:16".)
- CHRIS BENOIT vs. BOOKER T.
A good match, sure, but no different really than any of the 20 or 30
other matches these two have had in recent months. After awhile you just
get sick of seeing the same two guys go at it. Benoit wins this one with
the Crippler Crossface as Fit Finely, who had come out to the aisle,
looks on. Match two in this series is one Thunder. Match three is on WCW
Saturday Night. I'd bet that this will go the full seven.
- For the third time they show Luger joining the Wolfpac.
- THE GIANT/"STING" vs. LEX LUGER/STING
Both teams come out to the NWO music. The Giant has both Tag Title belts.
The fake Sting looks like the old fake Sting used before. The real Sting
comes out alone to his own music.
Sting and Luger start off by knocking the fake Sting out of the ring,
then they work over the Giant. For the next few minutes they take turns
beating up the fake Sting. The Giant then tags in and Luger takes this
week's beating of his life. Both Stings then get tagged in and the real
Sting gets the win with the Scorpion Deathdrop.
Nash and the Wolfpac then come out. For the next couple of minutes they
hold up an NWO shirt for Sting to wear. Luger tosses the shirt to Sting
and the show, which has already run over by a minute or so, suddenly runs
out of time.
- This Thursday: Thunder is on Wednesday this week.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
Moments after the cameras went out Sting put on the shirt. Don't read too
much into that, though, since in WCW if it isn't televised, it didn't
happen.
This is the problem with the whole NWO vs. NWO feud: Nash is clearly a
babyface, as well as Savage, and now Luger. Konan and Hennig, however, are
not. They're only babyfaces now by association. The NWO is supposed to stand
for disrespect of authority and hatred of everything WCW--yet somehow Nash,
Savage and Luger (and maybe Sting) are all supposed to be NWO and babyfaces
at the same time. The simple, undeniable truth here is that Nash, Savage and
Luger AREN'T really NWO! The problem is that WCW refuses to drop the
initials because they look too good on the t-shirt and sell too well.
Basically the "NWO" letters, as they pertain to the Wolfpac, are
meaningless. This should simply be an "NWO vs. Wolfpac" feud. It isn't,
though, because WCW is a slave to their own merchandising. WCW is trying to
keep alive the illusion that Nash and his faction are battling "Hollywood"
Hogan and his faction over the future of the NWO. The problem is that if
Hogan wins, then you have an NWO minus its coolest members. If Nash wins,
then the new NWO under his leadership won't be the NWO of old: it'll be an
NWO filled with nice guys who do what the referee says and help old ladies
across the street. The announcers tried their hardest to make us believe
that Luger joining the "NWO" was a big deal. Why? He didn't join THE NWO, he
just joined Nash's babyface version of it. Since this faction of the NWO
doesn't stand for what the other faction does, then all Luger did was put on
a new t-shirt. Nothing else changed. The balance of power hasn't shifted.
It's a testament to WCW's drawing ability that they can make a fashion
decision seem like such a momentous occasion. Now they're going to draw
Sting's decision out. Will he put on the shirt ... won't he put on the shirt
... who cares?!
Of course this now makes Roddy Piper WCW's biggest star. After him they have
DDP, then Goldberg. After that you hit their mid-carders. All the major
stars, if you include Sting, have "joined" the NWO. Well, there's also Bret
Hart, but we all know he's NWO with Hogan. Since he doesn't wear the shirt,
though, it's not "official". (See how it always comes back to the
merchandising?) WCW's dirty little secret right now is that everyone in the
NWO has reverted to the traditional face/heel structure, with the different
colored shirts being the only way to tell them apart. Everything the NWO
meant and stood for over the last two years has essentially ceased to exist.
The New World Order is dead, though it'll never go away so long as WCW can
keep selling their t-shirts.
All the above aside, it was a fairly good show this week. I've said it many
times, and I'll say it again: three hours is just too damn long. My only
real knock against the show this week is all the obvious filler stuff they
use to stretch it out to three hours. As a fan I shouldn't have to go
digging to find the good show. It's there--just buried under an avalanche of
squash matches and endless flashback footage. I bet if you took a stopwatch
to it there was a full half hour of highlight clips! Could you imagine if
your favorite sitcom spent FIVE minutes EVERY week showing what happened the
previous week? Or the one hour dramas like "ER", "Star Trek: Voyager" or
"Touched By An Angel" always used TEN minutes of their show to recap the
last episode? That's essentially what Nitro did here, and it's become a
common practice for them lately--especially on Thunder. Looking ahead at
tonight's RAW, I'd be surprised if they used more than TWO or THREE minutes
of flashback footage total during their whole show. Nitro did TWICE that in
their opening segment. Looking at RAW, they usually highlight what happened
at the end of the previous week at the top of their show, condensing the
footage with a voiceover into a piece only a minute or so long. Everything
significant that happened is clearly recounted. On Nitro, they just go ahead
and replay the entire piece, wasting several minutes in the process. Often
they show it more than once. After a while you just want to scream and yell
"hey ... I saw last week's show ... now show me THIS week's show!"
Nonetheless, this was a good show this week, I'll give them that. I just had
a hard time watching it is all--especially the second time around to write
this Recap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped:
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross, Michael Cole and Kevin Kelly.
- During the closing credits of "Walker Texas Ranger", when they squish the
screen over so they can run a promo for another show on USA, they run a
new promo for RAW.
- Mr. McMahon, Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco hit the ring, escorted by a
pair of policemen (for their safety, I assume). McMahon, over the house
mic, brags about Patterson and Brisco coming out of retirement and giving
Stone Cold everything he could handle. He then says it was he who
"drained the venom from the rattlesnake!" He brags about Hopping the rail
and nearly taking Austin's head of with the steel chair. "I assaulted
Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I got away with it!" McMahon says it'll be
the beginning of a new era when Austin loses his title Sunday night.
Here comes Austin. He calls McMahon the dumbest S.O.B. in the world for
just admitting in front of the police that he assaulted Austin. Stone
Cold tells the two officers that he wants to press charges and asks that
they take McMahon into custody. Moments later the two officers begin
slapping the cuffs on McMahon! Vince's face goes a shade redder as he's
cuffed, all the while kicking, screaming and tossing out curses at
Austin. Patterson and Brisco argue with the police. Jim Ross, from his
seat at the announcing desk, proclaims that "the leader of the wrestling
world is being cuffed!" Austin then points out Patterson and Brisco's
interference, saying it looks like "obstruction of justice" to him. Sure
enough, they're handcuffed as well. Austin says to haul the three pieces
of trash away, then give McMahon a quick kick to the gut and pours a beer
over his head. Jim Ross exclaims "Stone Cold is doing what the federal
government couldn't do: send Vince McMahon to jail!"
- The Disciples of Apocalypse hit the ring for the next match. The LOD then
come out. Hawk introduces their partner for th next match: Puke. Before
we can wonder who he is, or where he came from, Jim Ross spills the beans
and gives us the guy's life story. His name is Darren Drosdov, who
actually comes from New Jersey, an got the nickname "Puke" when he threw
up on live TV during a Denver Broncos game--the NFL team he used to play
for. The only thing Ross doesn't tell us is his blood type and which
Spice Girl he likes best. Drosdov recently wrestled in ECW. Before the
match he tries to puke on one of the DOA's Titan bikes. Chainz jumps him
and the match begins.
- LOD 2000/PUKE vs. THE DISCIPLES OF APOCALYPSE
Animal looks okay ... Puke looks okay ... Hawk looks old and tired. Puke
does a hiptoss, flying clothesline and powerbomb en route to pinning
Chainz.
McMahon, Patterson and Brisco are being led to the back as Steve Austin
lays on the badmouth. McMahon asks the officers "do you know who I am?
I'm Vince McMahon!" After the commercial break they show the three being
loaded into the back seat of a squad car. Patterson whines like a baby
when he's shoved in the back.
- The camera shows someone making their way through the crowd in the upper
level. The announcers ignore it.
- OWEN HART vs. DAN SEVERN
Prematch they show a clip of the recovering Ken Shamrock out signing
autographs. Severn comes to the ring wearing his NWA World Heavyweight
Title belt.
For several minutes these two put on something of a wrestling clinic.
Severn starts off working over Owen's arms, trying to maneuver him into
various submission holds. Owen fights back with some down-and-dirty
punches and kicks. Things are pretty even until Owen hits a crowd
"ooh"-ing low kick. Severn then comes back by solidly wrapping Owen up in
an armbar. A submission looks certain, when Owen's Nation teammates run
in and attack. Severn wins via DQ. Rocky Maivia, Kama, D-Lo and Mark
Henry lay on a beating. Owen tries to wrap Severn's ankle in a chair like
he did to Shamrock, but the refs chase him off. Looks like Severn will be
joining Shamrock, Steve Blackman, and maybe Faarooq as a new faction in
the WWF.
McMahon is giving everyone within earshot a piece of his mind in the
backseat of the squad car.
- Carnival music starts playing and the Jackyl leads Hank "the Angry
Drunken Dwarf" and "Crackhead" Bob (both from the "Howard Stern Show") to
the ring. The Jackyl says they represent his "Carnival of Human
Oddities". He mentions how Hank won the People Magazine online "50 Most
Beautiful People" poll (though he doesn't mention that Hank beat Ric
Flair). Hank delivers an expletive laden rant about how this has helped
ruin his life. The Jackyl then gets "Crackhead" Bob to say "I'm as mad as
hell and I'm not going to take it any more!" Then out comes the wrestling
contingent of the Jackyl's new army: Princess Luna, a deformed masked man
named "Golga", and a giant called "The Largest Man in the World". What a
freakshow.
- GOLGA vs. HEAD BANGER THRASHER (w/ Mosh)
Golga has a number of lumps under his mask which are supposed to be
bizarre cranial protrusions. Whatever. I hear it's actually John Tenta
under the mask. Again, whatever. Golga manhandles Thrasher to an easy
win, pinning him after a running powerslam. Mosh runs into help his
partner, but gets laid out by the "Largest Man Alive", who does look a
bit like a young Andre the Giant. (This giant being Paulo Silva--or
something like that--a rookie who's been going through the paces at the
recent WWF training camps. He's billed as being nearly 7'5" and 400
pounds.)
The crowd almost seemed amused by all this. They weren't booing, anyway.
Talk about the WWF being a circus again.
The mystery figure is shown in the crowd again and Ross figures out it's
Al Snow. Whoopee.
McMahon is still spitting fire, as Austin seems to be having a one-sided
discussion with the policemen.
- "DOUBLE J" JEFF JARRETT (w/ Tennessee Lee) vs. VADER
This match pretty much went by the numbers: Vader dominates with his size
and strength, but Jarrett keeps the match going by interference from his
manager (distracting the ref). Jarrett then cheats and gets in some
offense. Vader comes back strong, though, and has Jarrett just about beat
when Kane runs in and attacks him. Either Vader wins via DQ, or the match
is just thrown out. Kane destroys Vader, leaving him laying at ringside
after throwing him into the ring steps.
McMahon and cohorts are being taken out of the squad car and, in a scene
much like when Austin was last arrested, he will be released if he
apologizes to Austin. Vince gives Austin a half-hearted apology which
Stone Cold refuses to accept. ("Yeah ... I apologize to the FORMER WWF
Champion!") McMahon, in a much humbler tone, then offers up an apology
even I believed. Austin accepts, and McMahon is released from his cuffs--
but not before flashing the camera a look of pure evil and malevolence.
You know ... trim some of the schmaltz and bluster from his act and
McMahon could actually cut it as a fairly decent character actor.
I'm not too sure about this "apologize and get out of jail free" concept,
though.
WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- McMahon, Brisco and Patterson make their way to the ring. McMahon says he
hopes Steve Austin enjoyed himself, because after tonight all the fun
ends. McMahon announces that one of the conditions of his release was
that he agree to let Austin have someone in his corner at the PPV. Vince
says this doesn't bother him because he isn't afraid of any Superstar in
the WWF, and doubts there are any that will volunteer to help Austin. He
then says Austin's title reign ends tonight, as he'll have to defend the
title against the Undertaker!
- DeGeneration X has assembled on the runway of an airport somewhere in
America. Hunter Hearst Helmsley calls his troops to attention. A round of
what we call in these part "bagging" follows. Helmsley gives the troops a
peptalk for their latest "invasion" scheme, though this time Helmsley
will be going it alone. The group's only combat veteran--Road Dog (he
served in "Desert Storm")--throws a fit when he finds he won't be the one
piloting the plane. This only being the tease for the invasion they break
away before anything actually happens.
- Al Snow hops the rail and chews out Jerry Lawler for not getting him a
meeting with Vince McMahon. Once again he's carted off by security.
- TAKA MICHINOKU vs. TOGO (w/ Yamaguchi-san)
A good match between these two. Taka gets a quick start by nailing
several high flying moves. He signals for his finisher, but opts to come
off the top once more instead. Togo then catches Taka in mid-flight with
a drop-kick to the midsection. Taka rolls to the floor, where Togo lands
a running senton off the apron. Back in the ring Taka escapes from a
Belly-to back suplex and tries one of his own, but Togo mule kicks him
low, then catches him with a backflip kick to the head. He follows this
with a snap powerslam. Togo tries for a few unsuccess full covers. Taka
tries to stage a rally in the corner, but Togo escapes from a DDT attempt
off the turnbuckles and tosses Taka to the mat. He then throws Taka into
the ropes, but misses a clothesline. Taka leaps up on the rebound and
takes Togo over with a huracanrana, then tucks his legs in for the three
count. As Taka's celebrating Yamaguchi tries to sneak in from behind, but
Taka catches him. Before he can do anything, though, Funaki and Teioh--
the other members of Kaientai--run in and lay him out with a Fisherman
Suplex and a Senton Bomb off the top. Taka's left laying in the ring as
they exit through the crowd.
- Road Dog, Billy Gunn, X-Pac and Chyna are waiting for Helmsley to return
from his mission. The group seems to be debating who'll take over if
Helmsley doesn't make it back alive. The only thing of note here was when
Road Dog purposely calls Gunn "Rockabilly" just to get a rise out of him.
- "MARVELOUS" MARC MERO (w/ Sable) vs. FAAROOQ
In almost a carbon copy of Mero's match last week, Mero loses when he's
distracted by Sable, arguing with her on the apron. Faarooq rolls him up
from behind and gets the pin. Mero then tells Sable that if she likes to
play games, she can get any wrestler she likes to face Mero at the PPV
this Sunday. If Mero loses, Sable is free from her contract. If Mero
wins, Sable has to leave the WWF forever. Sable agrees. Chalk up a "loss"
for Mero this Sunday.
- The WWF presents on of those "warm & fuzzy" retrospectives for Pat
Patterson, like they did for Jerry Brisco a few weeks ago. This one
wasn't as funny, but it did have a great clip showing Patterson's
"prowess" as a TV commentator, showing him rambling on about someone
bringing some apples to the ring, or something.
The Undertaker is shown in the back getting ready for his match. He
doesn't seem to happy to be facing Austin, one must note.
- D-X's latest "invasion" is unveiled and believe me, it's a lame-o,
stinkeroo. Cobbling stock footage together they show clips of jets
flying, then letters written in the sky over an arena where Nitro is
taking place, spelling out such things as "Suck it!" and "D-X Rules!"
There were rumors that the WWF actually hired someone to do this last
week, but this just looked like computer generated letters here. Helmsley
then drops a "sh** bomb", saying the "WCW officials" are "now covered
with sh**, or just full of it!" Something sure stinks here, and I'd
definitely call this one a bomb.
- ROCKY MAIVIA (w/ the Nation) vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY (w/ D-X)
Before the match the Rock shares his views on Viagra, then promises to
lay the smack-down on Faarooq at the PPV this Sunday. He also has some
unkind words for Triple H.
The two start of trading holds and counters, jockeying for position.
Things are pretty even when the action moves to the floor. Chyna gets
involved, nailing Rocky. This brings over Mark Henry and the two stare
down. The crowd starts to get into it. After an unfortunate commercial
break, Chyna whacks Rocky with the European belt, allowing Helmsley to
take the offensive. The Rock then rallies back and delivers a sequence of
offense, leading up to the delivery of the People's Elbow. Helmsley is
sent to the floor, where Mark Henry gets in a shot or two. Chyna grabs a
chair, circles the ring and nails Henry with it. Triple H sends Henry
into the ring steps. Maivia then drops to the floor and the action
continues there until both men are counted out. Rocky backs away from the
ring taunting Helmsley, only to run into Faarooq, who piledrives him on
the stage. Maivia's head and body bounce like a rubber ball. (Rocky takes
the best piledriver in the business these days.)
The above description was pretty quick, and doesn't do the match itself
the justice it deserves, as it was a pretty decent bout. The crowd was
really hot by the end, giving Faarooq a huge reaction when he piledrived
Maivia on the stage.
All the commercial commitments being filled, they stay with the show
instead of cutting away. Vince McMahon comes out in his striped shirt,
having been announced as the special referee for tonight's main event.
The crowd, still hot from the last match, gives McMahon a hearty booing.
The Undertaker then comes out to the usual huge reaction. After his
regular prematch ritual, and the removal of his long coat, he steps over
to boss McMahon (who's been mugging for the camera and trading smiles and
waves with Jerry Lawler). McMahon, sensing trouble, looks up into the
face of his "phenom" and secret weapon. Not liking what he sees he takes
a step back. The Undertaker gets close again, invading McMahon's personal
space. The crowd, sensing where this is leading, gets louder and louder.
McMahon backs away again, only to have the Undertaker once again get up
close and personal to him. His hand shoots out and closes around
McMahon's throat. A chokeslam follows, to the delight of the crowd. He
then signals for, and hoist McMahon into position for, a Tombstone
Piledriver, but drops him when he spots Kane charging to the ring. He
and Kane go toe-to-toe, battling out of the ring to the floor, then into
the crowd and out of the arena.
Patterson and Brisco try to comfort McMahon, but this is cut short by the
arrival of Steve Austin. Austin gives both men Stone Cold Stunners, then
grabs McMahon and ties his arms between the ropes. Dropping to the floor
he retrieves a steel chair. He's all set to smash McMahon in the head,
but Dude Love suddenly charges in, bearing a chair of his own! Austin
swings his chair and nails Dude Love's chair, which smashes into Love's
head. Patterson and Brisco use this distraction to free McMahon from the
ropes and get him out of the ring. After a round of replays the show ends
(having run a minute or two over) with Ross all but declaring outright
that Austin will lose his title this Sunday on PPV.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
A good show, especially considering that it was taped. Except for the
usually bad DOA/LOD stuff, and the D-X skit which fell flat, this show came
off just about as well as the WWF can do these day. There was even a fair
amount of good wrestling in several matches.
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The Bottom Line:
They did a superb job building to the main event for "Over the Edge" this
week. The undercard matches, though, aren't nearly as good, or that well
hyped. Here's the card, as best as I can piece it together:
* Steve Austin vs. Dude Love. McMahon guest referee.
* Rocky Maivia vs. Faarooq. IC Title Match.
* Vader vs. Kane. "Mask vs. Mask" Match.
* The Nation vs. D-X.
* LOD vs. DOA.
* Marc Mero vs. Mystery Opponent.
That's all I can think of. It seems like there should be one more match that
I'm forgetting. Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Blackman, maybe? Of what's there,
though, there doesn't appear to be many surprises. With all the beatings
Faarooq has gotten in lately, I'd say Maivia's a lock to keep his belt.
Vader seems to be the odds-on favorite to lose his mask, though we've all
seen his face already. I wouldn't rule out Kane losing so that we can all
see his "hideously burned" face underneath. The Nation/D-X match is a
throwaway, as well as the LOD/DOA match: both of which we've seen numerous
variations of in recent weeks. As mentioned above, I don't give Mero much
chance of winning. I'd guess Dustin Rhodes may be his opponent, though he
may be the man in Austin's corner in his match. In the main event I'd bet
that Austin's corner man helps him win. I don't see the Undertaker scheduled
in a match, so maybe he'll be one of the above mystery men. All in all
there's not much about this PPV that excites or intrigues me besides the
main event.
My brother's getting this one on PPV at a friend's house this Sunday. I have
to work then, so I won't be seeing it until late Sunday or early Monday.
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This Week's Winner: RAW.
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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for
info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
Volume One, Number 132 of the "Monday Night Recap", May 25th, 1998.