Hear what the critics are saying about
Three Piece Combo's self-titled debut CD:

"Dreary guitar work similar to David Gilmour on top of wicked bass and loud drums. I gave it a second listen right away." - Myrna Quinn - Lice Enjoy Light

Okay.. okay.. this isn't a real quote.
But ever see a band's press kit containing a dozen of these such micro-reviews?
A half dozen adjectives mixed with a few incongruous references
cannot possibly convey a worthwhile description of such an abstract medium.
So why not cut out the middleman and write a PHP script
which more or less generates the same thing?