Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess, and she lived all alone in a solid gold
castle in Mercia.

One day a handsome prince came to the castle and asked the princess if she
wanted to go with him back to Ayrshire, where his castle was, and she said ok.

On the way back to Ayrshire, the prince and princess came across a ferocious
Dragon, and it said to them, “Ye shall not pass by here alive!”

Well, the prince wouldn't stand for that sort of thing, so he drew his sword and
rushed at the dragon, but it just blew fire on him and he was burnt to a cinder.

Meanwhile, the princess had run away, back to her castle in Mercia where she
lived all alone until she died.

The End.

The Princess and the Apothecary

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a little brick house in
Islington. She lived there with her mother and father, who were not the king and queen,
which makes one wonder why she was a princess, but that's just how it is. Anyway, her
mother was very ill, and the princess had to go every day to get medicine from the
apothecary.

One day when she got home her mother had died, and her father was very sad,
and he cried for twelve days. The princess was not sad, though, because now she didn't
have to walk all the way to the apothecary shop every day.

The End.

The Marquis and the Scots.

Once upon a time, there was a handsome marquis who lived in a high-walled castle near
Salisbury. His father the Duke was a very rich man indeed, and he gave the young
marquis everything he wanted, except a wife. Every girl that was brought to him had
some flaw, and the marquis could not marry her.

Rumours had gotten about that the marquis didn't like girls, and the duke
resented his son for this, so he exiled him so Scotland where he could cause no further
disgrace. Fortunately for the marquis, the Scots believed him when he told them he was a
prince.

So he set up his principality and the Scots helped, because they thought that the
marquis could help them. Poor foolish bastards.

The marquis found that the Scottish boys were much nicer than the ones of his
father's duchy, and he had lots of them over for dinner quite regularly. Thus he lived
quite happily for many years, until the Scots started to notice that some of their boys
didn't seem interested in the girls anymore, and they got mad at the marquis and stoned
him to death.