Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I would be the sheriff. The town would be Maple Shade, NJ. As soon as I moved back from Florida to pursue my intentions of directing my own film, Generator, I was hit with death. My grandfather was deathly ill and passed away shortly thereafter(I believe I mentioned this in one of my last blog updates). During the following months, I wasn't making much headway with my film project for a variety of reasons. Expecting people to work for free is naive at best, disaster at worst. My experience falls right in the center of the two. Despite laying all of the groundwork for the film, I hadn't been hands on with people enough. Meaning I didn't really explain the finer details to them. Such as which scene we'd be shooting upon the first night. And after I did, I didn't follow up and make sure they were ready, I just assumed it. That's when lack of money began to rear it's f'n face. My girlfriend/roomate upped and left about a year ago, leaving me with the full rent of which I of course cannot afford without forgoing just about everything else, film included. I get out of the lease this February. And that will get me back on track, I think. But anyway, one meandering month after another passed and I still hadn't gotten anything filmed. While this was going on, my father passed away. To make a long story short, I hadn't seen him in 16 years, but it was shock to the system anyway for many reasons I won't get into now. So a few more months go by, and my grandmother turns out to be very ill. Within months, she is bed ridden in the hospital and I'm making a decision to take her off the ventilator (she never wanted it anyway). She died the next morning peacefully. (A couple of weeks ago just before Christmas)

So here I am, almost two years back and nothing to show for it. To make matters worse, I completely neglected my writing since I was in producing/directing mode. And now, as I try to ease back into it, I am at a total loss as to how to proceed. There's just nothing there. Great ideas, sure. But shit, everyone has great ideas. Then I remembered this little blog I used to rant on, one that started because of the same exact thing- a lack of direction, motivation and some pretty hefty writer's block. It's not called the constipated writer because I was a writing machine when I started this, right? And to my surprise, it is still here. I'm quite sure nobody is linked up with me anymore, but that's okay. I get to write without really realizing it, and perhaps that will spur me on to my projects.

Which are:1. Spec script of The Office for the Nickelodeon fellowship.2. Death by Dating-dark comedy feature length script3. Wombies-dark comedy-feature length script

So there you have it. A harrowing journey just like I always expected it to be. However, the good thing is I still have the location. I still have the actors. And I still have the ambition to make Generator. And I think I will.