I believe that it's quite good, but maybe you could focus more on Draco's feelings? (It's probably just me, because I need a LOT of description of the emotions to actually understand what the character is feeling).

Right in the beginning I was completely drawn to the story, but I was just getting in the mood when the Order dialogue came in... (again, it's how it made ME feel).

And then came the last paragraphs, "He remembers his screams of agony and his mad rage"... Just wowed me. And then the end of it... blew my mind. I had never pictured Draco as the kind of man who would do something like that, but you made it seem like it made total sense! A-MAZING.

Keep on writing amazing things!

-- Andrea.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for dropping by.

I am pleased the ending caught you off guard, as that was my intention xP

I am glad you liked this. I'll take your advice in consideration and see if I can highlight more of Draco's feelings. I was aiming for less description but I'll see what I can do.

Hmm I am sorry if you felt the order dialogue interrupted the feel for you - I'll see if I can fix that.

I am glad you liked the last paragraphs, and the end. Thanks so much for your AMAZING review!