Fat Chick: "I used to have a lap band surgically in place to stop me from overeating."

Me (to myself): "Total fatty logic. The problem wasn't your stomach, the problem is all in the fork! Why treat symptoms of the problem instead of correcting the problem itself. Food enters through the mouth - that's the gateway, and dieting/exercise is the solution."

Fat Chick (somehow responding to my inner thoughts): "Maybe I can just duct tape my mouth shut after dinner. Yeah, that would work at cutting calories!"