Fox News reported on Tuesday that the number one nation in sexy web searches is Pornistan, oops, I mean Pakistan. (1) This is something I have known for a number of years. In fact, I exploit the fact by using the terms that draw Muslims to my site like lawyers to money: phrases like young girls raped, sex with animals, etc.

I have been number one in Google for muslim goat sex for the past four years. Now it happens that there are millions of articles on horse sex, child rape, camel-kissing, and other terms that drive Pakis wild, and so it's difficult for me to land my blog on the first results page for those search terms, but my Muslim keywords (little girls raped, virgin white slaves, etc.) put me on enough search results to get me a few hundred Muslim readers every single day.

If you click on ClustrMaps in my sidebar you will see the following country visitor statistic:

Country

Symbol

Visits

United States

(US)

99,850

United Kingdom

(GB)

14,642

Canada

(CA)

8,800

Australia

(AU)

5,134

India

(IN)

4,532

Mexico

(MX)

3,221

Germany

(DE)

3,098

Brazil

(BR)

1,861

France

(FR)

1,540

Indonesia

(ID)

1,413

Pakistan

(PK)

1,406

Malaysia

(MY)

1,310

Turkey

(TR)

1,210

Italy

(IT)

1,147

Israel

(IL)

1,115

United Arab Emirates

(AE)

1,079

You will notice that 5 of the top 16 countries visiting me are Muslim majority nations. I speculate that many of the visitors from France, India, the UK and Germany are Muslims as well.

I should mention as well that my collection of Muslim Joke articles is one of the largest on the Internet and Google, Yahoo and Bing have rewarded me by placing at least two of my Muslim Joke articles on the top search results. I've tried a dozen other search engines as well and my articles invariably are the top results returned. I have a lock on the phrase Muslim jokes.

Of course, if I were the top result for Polish or Jewish Jokes I would probably get a million hits a day, but sadly, very few people search for Muslim jokes (I get about 300-500 hits a day), probably because most people do not find Muslims funny. In addition, most people think that no one is crazy enough to joke about Muslims, fatwas and all that, and so do not even bother searching for Muslim humor.

But just in case you are a Muslim and you got here by searching for goat sex, here are a few goat sex jokes:

Q: What do you call a Muslim standing on a corner with a goat under each arm?
A: A pimp.

Q: How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A: They mark the goats that kick with a big X.

Q: What do they call a goat barn in Mecca?
A: A whorehouse.

Q: What are the 3 main uses for goats in Muslim lands?
A: Sex, milk and meat - and in that order.

Q: Why do Muslim Men drink goat’s milk?
A: Because their wives are too young to lactate.

Q: Why do Muslim Children learn animal sounds in Kindergarten such as a baby goat, camel, monkey, and jackass?
A: So they can follow the sounds in the desert at night to find their Daddy.

Q. How do you tell when a Muslim male reaches puberty?
A. He no longer needs a step-stool to have sex with a goat.

Q: Why do Muslim men beat their women?
A: Because the goat never says no.

Caption for photo at top: Pakistan has banned content on more than a dozen websites because of offensive and blasphemous material. The Muslim country, which has laws on dress codes, ranks as the top country to proportionally search for certain sex-related terms.

A tip of the turban to reader Rajiv.

ENDNOTES

The Muslim country, which has banned content on at least 17 websites to block offensive and blasphemous material, is the world's leader in online searches for pornographic material, FoxNews.com has learned.

...

Google ranks Pakistan No. 1 in the world in searches for pornographic terms, outranking every other country in the world in searches per person for certain sex-related content.

Pakistan is top dog in searches per-person for "horse sex" since 2004, "donkey sex" since 2007, "rape pictures" between 2004 and 2009, "rape sex" since 2004, "child sex" between 2004 and 2007 and since 2009, "animal sex" since 2004 and "dog sex" since 2005, according to Google Trends and Google Insights, features of Google that generate data based on popular search terms.

The country also is tops -- or has been No. 1 -- in searches for "sex," "camel sex," "rape video," "child sex video" and some other searches that can't be printed here.

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