Juno Winner Actually Lives in Canada

A milestone was achieved at Sunday's Juno Awards in Winnipeg, as the festivities were graced with the presence of a Canadian performer who actually lives in Canada.

Hamish McJones, 78, who won the Juno for Best Spoken Word Album by an Inebriated Poet, has lived on a farm in Quebec's Eastern Townships his entire adult life. "Ah, 'tis true. I actually do live in Canada, as I have since coming here from my native Wales to get away from my mother-in-law as a young man," commented the veteran wordsmith. "And contrary to rumours you may have heard, I am not looking for a place in LA."

McJones is believed to the first and only Juno winner who actually lives in Canada, with the exception of Vancouver's Tabitha Dooherty, who won a Juno for best contemporary tuba performance in 1982.

Meanwhile, the day after the Junos, most other attendees were busily getting the hell out of the country. The International Departures section at Winnipeg Airport was crammed with 'Canadian' musical superstars ready to return to their homes, not in Canada.

Daybreak in Winnipeg

"I had a great time," said Alanis Morissette, who may or may not have actually been at the Junos. (We weren't watching, as Anne Murray wasn't involved). "I'm so appreciative of all of the opportunities Canada has given me. Now where's my goddamn charter at?"