Dating Myself

In my last blog post, I briefly mentioned that I have been taking myself out a lot. I love having a certain amount of “me time,” and I have been making it a priority to take myself out without my boyfriend because I love independence. I see a lot of young ladies get into new relationships and totally absorb the other person into their life. To be honest, that is an incredibly deadly habit, I have no need to see someone every single day, and I hated when I didn’t have a choice. As a young lady or a young man, you can have the freedom to take yourself out, spoil yourself, have a day where it’s just you are shopping, in fact, it’s incredibly healthy.

I would never dream of taking myself out when I was any of my ex’s. They would accuse me of cheating or being with someone or doing something I wasn’t supposed to do. So, for a whole year, I cut out things that I really enjoyed. Like eating out alone, shopping alone, and watching movies alone. If I went shopping, I felt like I had to sneak it, I felt like I was doing something terrible, I couldn’t spend a whole day at my hair salon without being judged and accused, and it was toxic.

Now I am on a dating kick. I set one day aside for myself, I go out and shop by myself for hours, I go get my hair done for 6 hours and don’t have to worry about angry texts, I go to dinner and enjoy a five-course meal and two glasses of wine. I see movies and can enjoy every second of it without being interrupted.

It is incredibly important to put aside at least one day for yourself, and I know most of the young ladies who are reading this feel like they don’t have the opportunity. But you need to create opportunities for yourself, if you have kids and a husband, have your husband watch the kids for three hours if you feel like your boyfriend wouldn’t like this, then he may not be the man for you.

Dating yourself means:

1. You don’t have to compromise

2. You don’t have to face judgment on how much you spent on that one day

3. You learn how to be independent

Dating yourself is sexy as hell, and it should not stop even when you do date, someone. Learning to be active on your own is one of the most attractive things about anyone. Learning to make connections on your own is one of the best skills to have, and if a man or woman feels like dating yourself is wrong or unimportant, quite simply put, they are insecure, and you’re better off without.

When I started seeing this new guy, I made it perfectly clear, that I would want one day alone, to do what I need to be mentally healthy and prepare for the next week. I made it clear I will take myself out, and I will spoil myself because I can. Instead of judging me or telling me no, he said to me it was refreshing to find a lady who does indeed put herself. First, he encouraged me to go out and be who I want when I want. For that, I do believe he is one of the best men I have ever dated, he has already taught me 100x more than any ex ever has.

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23 Comments

I totally agree! It’s not about independence, I would say. You need some me time to relax and refresh your mental health. Relationships are interdependent. You can still love yourself. I’d say it’s more about self care. Great post!

I worked with a person a long time ago who did exactly what you’re doing.We lived about 80 miles north of Seattle and once a month she headed to the big city all by herself. It was her day and if someone had a problem with that, to bad. She said it made her a better person.

Looking back she was a great person to be with and if that’s what it took, good for her and the rest of us who liked her.

I grew up around Seattle! In the Kirkland area! I used to take the bus to the city just to sight see and shop! People watch, oh what a good life that was! I believe everyone needs to practice self care in whatever form it happens to be.

Well said, girl! I love sitting in coffee shops alone with my laptop doing some blogging or reading. It’s a mistake to lose your independence, because if/when that relationship ends, you won’t remember who you are without them!