The Nigerian Voice Magazine

www.thenigerianvoicemagazine.com

Step outside of your comfort zone and shout NIGERIA anywhere in world, you will be amazed by the way heads will turn. The sound of the name means different things to different people depending on the interactions or dealings with Nigerian men; to some the name Nigeria is potentially seen as trouble, while to others, it’s the shortest form that defines a real man. The reality is that, every country in the world has its bad and good boys, why should Nigeria be an exception.

In reality how does one get to marry a decent Nigerian man, what are the things you must understand and the don’ts to keep the relationship happy?First let’s take a look at the definition of the word decent. It means; conformingtotherecognizedstandardofpropriety, good taste,modesty,respectable, worthy,
kind, obliging, generous, etc, as in behavior, appearance or speech.

A decent Nigerian man is the same as any decent man from any part of the world but with an extra touch that gives him the edge. What is that edge? It’s simple; you come first before him in everything, there is a myth that says they are strong and blessed where it counts (Hope you get me). Decent Nigerian men are unique, challenging and very demanding.

Majority of the decent Nigerian men have a strong cultural background that defines who they are, they are proud of their tradition and have gone through an evolution of self cleansing to identify who they really are, what they want in life and in a partner. Making an average decent Nigerian man compromise what he wants in marriage is not an easy task to attain but it is possibly especially when the woman is patient and understanding. Trust me; with a typical Nigerian man, patient and understanding has a very high reward.

I have taken my time to write this article, because I know for a fact that there is a lot of search for Nigerian men in almost every where you find Nigerians in the world, although reasons differ from person to person, depending on what your search is about. If it’s for a long lasting relationship that will lead to marriage, I suggest you add the word decent to your search. On the other hand I have also heard some foreign ladies complaining how Nigerian men have treated them. If that is the case, here is where most foreign women get it wrong.

Before you marry a Nigerian man, I advise you to put these into cognizance. If you think you can cope with the following, then I suggest you go ahead and if you think you can’t do them, don’t even start it.

Most decent Nigerian men are brought up with a culture that gives power to men, but most foreign laws gives absolute power to the women and as such they think Nigerian men are domineering and demanding. Well, the simple truth is that Nigerian men are pretty spoilt back home, In Nigeria, the thinking is that, the main responsibility of a man is to pay the bills, they will pay all the bill and even take care of more expenses but they don’t wash dishes and cook, they don't change diapers, they pay someone to do that if their wife is gainfully employed.

There should definitely be mutual respect in the home, a Nigerian man wants to be recognized as the head of the house, he wants to be able to give orders and be in total control of his home ( to a large extent). This system is totally absent in most foreign cultures who believe everything should be equal and whatever the man does, they should also do. Some women go as far as slapping their men, shouting at them, hitting them and even calling the police just to show superiority in the house. Besides, most foreign laws state that if there is a fight between couples, the man will leave the house for the woman irrespective of who owns the property. This is a major problem and challenge to a Nigerian man, several foreign ladies that are successfully married to Nigerian men either had to adjust or get him to shrink a little bit but that is not always easy, they willrather turn the other way than get squeezed a little bit and that is the truth.

The average Nigerian man is family oriented and is attached to his parents especially his mother, brothers and sisters, to a large extend they have certain level of influence on him. Lack of support towards his feelings for his family is a big problem. There is always a strong family bond in most cases with sacrifices having been made for each other at one point or the other while growing up. Any woman that has a strong relationship with her Nigerian man’s family is a princess of his home, unlike foreign cultures where everyone minds their business and ultimately believes in rights.

The Nigerian man is a natural hard worker, they never get fed up with wealth acquisition, they never give up on success, that is the one thing you must understand about Nigerian men, they take responsibility and make sure their family as well as their woman is well taken care of, their children are the most beautiful gift they have, the boys are more spoilt, that is the truth. So if you expect a Nigerian man to sit with you at home and show affection when he is suppose to work, that might be a very big issue as he will become aggressive at a certain point.

While growing up, Nigerian men have been made to understand that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through good food. A Nigerian man love good food and appreciates Nigerian dishes more, not knowing how to cook is a serious crime to most Nigeria men. Nigerian men believe that a woman is responsible if she is good with domestic works and cooking. This is a very big problem with modern ladies and most foreign women as they live on take away.

These might sound funny and strange to non Nigerians. In Nigeria, a woman who is married and still goes clubbing is tagged as a loose woman. If at any time she feels like clubbing, she has to go with her husband or don’t go at all. Don’t misunderstand clubbing with chilling with friends. This is one of the biggest problems most Nigerian men have with foreign women. In most cases foreign women keep the group of friends they had before marriage, and still want to live almost the same life style as the case when they were single. Nigerian men believe marriage comes with sacrifice and there should be a clear difference between married women and single ladies.

There are decent Nigerian men and there are kids in men’sskin, so finding decent Nigerian men will take time. The honest truth is that the average decent Nigerian man is not as complicated as he is perceived to be, all he wants is a happy disciplined home and a woman worthy to be called a wife, a decent woman he can trust with his kids and home. Frankly, you can date and marry a decent Nigerian man any day if you are willing and able to be a good wife.

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Pindi YakoMhhh....Married to 1 and loving him to bits, my Naija/Igbo man loves cooking and on the other side I hate cooking but for him thats never been an issue.

Blessings OkoroLol dont live on takeaway! I cook!

Amanda ObikweluAny man can seem decent when you first meet but once you're married everything changes. I've been married to a Nigerian Igbo man for 4 years and now it's all about to end. He lied, cheated and now he wants a pr.

Linette BrownGood to know

Lorraine Anne OkedaraI' married a nigerian man in uk., and I found out he is planning to Marry back in nigeria . I've met all his family how could they do such a thing I'm devasted.

Thando Memory Mawezai love Nigerians i wont mind having one for a husband 0764241967

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Beatrice Kutemba Sakayi AmeyinWhere can one get your articles Olaniyi?

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Rosa Heimerman NyeusiI love my nigerian husband, this would've been helpful if I read this long ago. Really explains a lot.

Ufuoma EdojahI love this article, it shows the real Nigerian man & shows those with an ignorant perception of us why we r the way we r

Franchesca Maria OgunlowoI love my husband! He is Nigerian :) he is the sweetest man I have ever met.

Mamy LesoleI wish I knew ds things b4, I wasn't raised to be submiting to a man, my husband calls me a control freak , but it took me a tragic day when he pack all his load to leave me, then I realize I needed help or else my husband is leaving me n d baby,
I tnx God ds still ppl n website to teach us or let us knw what we are in for! Now he's back @ home he is d head of the house.

Dawn L. PeaceI don't find them to be worthy men

Valerie DeasInteresting I dated a Nigerian man years ago he was very gentl soft spoken . I broke up with him because he loved to many women a year passed and this man stalked me for two years he wanted me back besides him like many women when we were together he was very sweet

Navis Laytese Langford OgunsakinI love my Husband and he is NIGERIAN man a good one too.

Sherry Alice MoellenkampMy husband is an nigerian he is trying to deport me to Nigeria im american I do want to go there but not under his condition he wont come to the states does anyone have a suggestion

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Kenekayoro AndrewI have been married a 1year plus now, and this sounds like my husband,,,I'm smiling cause I know now that I have a GOOD MAN.

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Eileen NessI am with a Nigerian man. I am Turkish, and as you may imagine I already have so much issues with being with a Nigerian. I met him at the Uni, and since them we have been together. I did seperate him about 4 times because of what you all already said, It' s been really tough. I did forgive him many times, because I beleive in his honesty, I love the way he protects me. But I did tell him, Look here is not Nigeria and I am not Nigerian. If you have issues to adopt the way I am, and adopt the equalance between 2 different sex, just GO, Get out of my life, and find the woman will please you. He was not even able to say he loves me, or he misses me or hold my hands in public he used to be very formal with me.. . I was so mad, I did separate him many times, and each time he came back, he came different.
About helping in the kitchen, once I was cooking and expecting he to come to help me, he carried on watching football, and expecting me to bring the food in front of him. I carried the suepan, and emptied it in the toilet. He thought I was mad, well I am feminist. But yea, now he is scared, and he is always in the kitchen beside me. It has been so challenging. I never wanted to lose him, even though I did separate him many times. Can you believe, just because he was stubborn about not saying I love you, i separated him for 3 months. Had big fight and told him I would not waste my time with a man, who is not able to say I Love You. He says it at least 5 times a day now, he tells me how much he loves me, He misses me. He cooks for me, prepares breakfast. I hope he will never change when I marry him, I love him so so much.