A Love Episode eBook

And when Helene, in distraction, carried her child,
with the assistance of the sorrowing Abbe, into a
cab, she turned towards the porch with outstretched,
trembling hands.

“It’s all this church! it’s all
this church!” she exclaimed, with a vehemence
instinct with regret and self-reproach as she thought
of the month of devout delight which she herself had
tasted there.

CHAPTER XII.

When evening came Jeanne was somewhat better.
She was able to get up, and, in order to remove her
mother’s fears, persisted in dragging herself
into the dining-room, where she took her seat before
her empty plate.

“I shall be all right,” she said, trying
to smile. “You know very well that the
least thing upsets me. Get on with your dinner,
mamma; I want you to eat.”

And in the end she pretended an appetite she did not
feel, for she observed that her mother sat watching
her paling and trembling, without being able to swallow
a morsel. She promised to take some jam, and
Helene then hurried through her dinner, while the child,
with a never-fading smile and her head nodding tremblingly,
watched her with worshipping looks. On the appearance
of the dessert she made an effort to carry out her
promise, but tears welled into her eyes.

“You see I can’t get it down my throat,”
she murmured. “You mustn’t be angry
with me.”

The weariness that overwhelmed her was terrible.
Her legs seemed lifeless, her shoulders pained her
as though gripped by a hand of iron. But she
was very brave through it all, and choked at their
source the moans which the shooting pains in her neck
awakened. At one moment, however, she forgot
herself, her head felt too heavy, and she was bent
double by pain. Her mother, as she gazed on her,
so faint and feeble, was wholly unable to finish the
pear which she was trying to force down her throat.
Her sobs choked her, and throwing down her napkin,
she clasped Jeanne in her arms.

“My child! my child!” she wailed, her
heart bursting with sorrow, as her eyes ranged round
the dining-room where her darling, when in good health,
had so often enlivened her by her fondness for tid-bits.

At last Jeanne woke to life again, and strove to smile
as of old.

“Don’t worry, mamma,” said she;
“I shall be all right soon. Now that you
have done you must put me to bed. I only wanted
to see you have your dinner. Oh! I know
you; you wouldn’t have eaten as much as a morsel
of bread.”

Helene bore her away in her arms. She had brought
the little crib close to her own bed in the blue room.
When Jeanne had stretched out her limbs, and the bedclothes
were tucked up under her chin, she declared she felt
much better. There were no more complaints about
dull pains at the back of her head; but she melted
into tenderness, and her passionate love seemed to
grow more pronounced. Helene was forced to caress
her, to avow intense affection for her, and to promise
that she would again kiss her when she came to bed.