So, another Halloween has come and gone. And this one has definitely been one of the more memorable for me, mainly because of the week leading up to it. Going to Game 1 of the World Series, hanging out at Long Beach ComiCon at the Hero Initiative get-together, interviewing Thomas Jane and Tim Bradstreet at LBCC, and capping the weekend off with Gorillaz on Saturday night and hopefully a Giants win tonight for the World Series. It’s definitely an exciting time right now for me. And it’s all got me thinking about a lot of stuff.

In the Celtic tradition, Samhain (one of the holidays that Halloween grew out of) was not just a celebration of the departed, it also marked the new year. Much like January 1, it brought up reflections of years past, pondering on how life is going, and desires for improvement over the coming years. And overall, my life has it’s good points and bad point right now. Having my father’s estate finally settled is a big issue over and done with, and it’s been letting me do some of the great things I’ve been lucky to do recently. But there’s also the bad stuff; and honestly, I’m mainly the sole source for that.

While I did get the interview with Tim Bradstreet and Thomas Jane, I really wasn’t ready for it because of a combination of poor decisions and my habit of trying to cram in too much to do in too short a time. I rushed myself because I needed to get to the airport to catch my fight and it shows in the interview. So, to Tim and Thomas, I apologize for not being totally on the ball for the time I had with you both. I promise that if you’re at WonderCon, I’ll be much more ready to go to talk with you guys.

Speaking with Tim and Thomas also made me aware of something else: I’m focusing way too much on the Big Two and their foibles and ignoring most of the other guys. Part of this is because I’ve got a lot of stuff to do in terms of material to review (tv, anime, movies, comics, games). Part of it is because of my financial priorities, with checking out new stuff being down on the list and things that I have more personal control over (like gaming) being higher. But a big chunk has to be that deep down, I’m rather a negative person. It’s easy for me to take shots at the Big Two and say there’s nothing fun in comics these days while not seeing what everyone else is up to. LBCC helped show me that it’s the other guys that are putting the fun back in comics; both from reading ‘Bad Planet’ from Tim and Thomas’ label Raw Entertainment, and finally getting around to reading Robert Kirkman’s awesome ‘Invincible’. It makes me want to see what else I’ve been missing from companies like Aspen, IDW, Image, and Top Cow.

I think the biggest hindrance to me right now is my negativity. It keeps me from taking the podcast more seriously; which means that when cool opportunities arise like what happened this weekend at LBCC come around, I won’t get taken seriously. It keeps me from seriously working on any of the dozen story ideas I have that Jamiel keeps trying to drag me to commit to paper. It’s keeping me from really believing that my Giants can win the whole thing tonight. It’s been my defense and my comfort for most of my life and it’s hard to move past it. Believe me, I’ve been trying.

Ultimately, though, I know I can’t change the world through snark. I don’t think that magically one day, all the people that I say are ruining comics/tv/movies/video games are going to wake up and agree with everything I say, even though there’s a lot of folks that seem to agree with me. The only thing I can do and have control over is to keep trying to push forward, keep picking myself up when I fall and let my family & friends help. I have to move out of a negative ‘do it later’ mentality and find the balance between immediacy and long-term planning.

So, there you have it: my reflections on the year that was and thoughts on the year to be. I can’t say if or how well I’ll succeed this year, but I can promise that I’ll try to make it as entertaining as possible.