Can't stop once i start .

by figs
(ireland)

I stopped drinking because I find that once I start drinking that I cannot stop drinking . I have been trying to stay sober for the past 6 years and I'm now aged 32, I've had some success, each time I stay sober for a couple of months, one time 18 months, then I believe that I am after conquering this thing called alcoholism and I try to drink moderately. The moderation never works with me, never has, even when I started drinking at 18, i could never get drunk enough or fast enough.

For some reason, alcohol has an effect on me that is similar to that of the Native Americans drinking, I can't handle the drink, I shouldn't drink. Some people shouldn't drink and I'm one of them .

I've also noticed that in other drinkers, maybe they have a lack of self awareness, but to me the hangovers are not worth the first hour of merriness .

I'm on my 100th time of giving up the beer, but this time it is different , I'm off it now for the long haul. I've been sober 5 months now (it would be a year if I hadn't got smashed over the holidays , I and really regretted it), it gets easier as time goes by.