The Congressman from Pennsylvania

As we draw down to yet another ‘election that must be won’, I am very dissatisfied with my choice for Congressperson. There is no GOP choice that I would be happy with given their inability to think independently on ANY issue. The Democratic Party rejected anyone from within the district who stepped up to run for the PA 6th; opting instead for a person from outside the district.

When I challenged Democrats on the concept of running for a district you do not live in I would be told, sometimes in very patronizing terms, as long as you live in the state you can legally do that.

So I started thinking hyperbolically like these people and came up with an idea. I live in the State of Pennsylvania. So by their logic, I can run in any Congressional District in the state. We got 18 of them.

Why can’t I run in all of them at the same time?

There have to be people across the state who are fed up with the lack of choices we are getting for Congress (don’t start me on the Governor’s race). Maybe I could get them to write me in for Congress as a protest vote. It would be pretty simple. Since I am asking everyone in the state no matter where they live I can make the generic request:

Write In Joe Ferraro for Congress

How about a bad campaign sign?

I started to have this dream that I won all 18 seats (I know, I know that is unrealistic. The most I think I could win is 7).

No matter how many seats I would win, the Mucky-Mucks running the show would have to seat me since the people of those individual districts have made me as their choice.

I would go down to Washington and become my own voting block. I would have 18 seats in the back of the room (since it is my first time I am sure they would not let me near the front of the class). But I like the back of the room better – that is where the cool people hang anyway. I would search out the other disenfranchised Congresspeople (those fed up with the way things are being done) and form a larger caucus of People Who Want To Get S*** Done (PWWTGSD).

I would get really fat because I would be allowed to go through the Congressional Lunch Line 18 times. That is a heck of a lot of Navy Beans…

I would also gain access to 18 Congressperson’s allotment of lobbyists. Now this is where the fun really starts. With 18 votes, I could push them around for once.

But seriously, here is some of what I would do:

Going to visit our friends from ISIS? Not without an exit strategy and certainly without asking Iran to help out here. (Remember – ISIS used to be known as the Iraqi Army and Iran battled them to a draw.) This gives Iran a channel to become somehow legitimate in the eyes of the world.

Use the Joe Sestak model of reducing the military by acknowledging that we can be more effective with smarter systems and not funding already obsolete weapons systems. Use the money we save there to educate ourselves.

Required Government Service for all young adults – their choice of military or non-military.

Allow kids coming out of college the ability to declare bankruptcy if they cannot get a job. The debt was created by college spending, the college might be a little more selective as to the money they take if the person they train cannot be employable at the end of the day. (Colleges could always forgive student debt under the idea of education for the sake education.)

Remove the wage limit on Social Security Taxes.

Increase the size of Congress to reflect population changes over the last 100 years.

For ALL Federal Offices except President – Open Primaries with a Top 2 Go Through (Presidential Primaries are too much fun to watch as a real-life parallel to Survivor.)

To allow voter access for everyone – force a ratio of one polling location for every 1200 citizens.

Use paper ballots. If Home Depot or Bank of America can get hacked, do you think the electronic voting machines are any better?

Elizabeth Warren will have an instant block of 18 votes for her to do whatever she wants to Wall Street.

President Obama will have 18 new hammers in Congress to train on either party’s malcontents – Obamacare WILL be fortified.

Gun Control will become Sane, Trained, Able and Insured.

Energy independence via wind and solar with gas and oil as a back-up. Energize our highway systems by developing ways to harvest energy from the road system itself (like solar retaining walls or geothermal stations placed in clover leafs).

Acknowledge Climate Change and create a global project creating a retention basin out of the Sahara Desert for the polar ice cap runoff. (Take the hottest place on earth and make it a huge radiator. OK I know that one is out there. Just checking if you are still reading.) It might save New Jersey and Florida.

Make it law you have to live in the district you want to represent. (Gerrymandered incumbents get 180 days to find new digs.)

It would mean I would have to give up 17 of my seats almost immediately, but I would have done what I set out to do. Fix something stupid.

I want to help bring more Stupidity to Washington !

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I think we need more Stupid People In Congress.

I think one Stupid Congressperson can do the work of 18 Stupid Congresspeople.