So, for those of you readers that haven’t been paying attention, a lot has been going on in my life recently like major things…that kind of make me in a state of flux as of late. Which actually is great, it makes me willing to try new things, be corny as shit and “say yes to life.”

So much so, that when asked if I’m single and happy to be set up, I of course say yes. Because what’s the best that can happen? I meet the love of my life, we have a gorgeous wedding, and I rename this blog “The Amazing Adventures of a Bitch you all Should be Jealous” cause that ain’t never gonna happen. Worst case scenario: I get an awesome tale to add to my adventures!

okay…have you ever asked a kid between the ages of 5 and 10 whether they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? if not, try it some time (I have..it is as hilarious as this story!). i have done this with several of the kids i babysit for, and, most recently, my 8-and-a-half-year-old cousin. the conversation is always the same, and it goes something like this (spot on!):

me: ben, do you have a girlfriend?
ben: yup.
me: really? what’s her name?
ben: audrey.
me: how do you know her?
ben: she’s in my class.
me: that’s awesome. do you guys hang out a lot?
ben: nope. not at all.
me: what do you mean? you’ve never had a playdate with her before?
ben: nope.
me: but she’s your girlfriend?
ben: yup.
me: does she KNOW she’s your girlfriend?
ben: nope.
me: you’ve never…mentioned this to her?
ben: nope.
me: but she’s your girlfriend.
ben: yup.

wouldn’t that be great, if we could just pick someone and DECIDE, without their consent, that they were our significant other? i am fascinated by the world of elementary school children in which this is possible.

It so would! So, Bradley Cooper, heads up! We’re engaged!

Surprise! The announcement will be in The New York Times and People Magazine next week!