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I know its been about 2 months since our last mailer (“LOOK, I’M SORRY” – The Reanimator), but believe us, we have good reasons (exaggeration) for taking this long. We have been obscenely busy (not an exaggeration) since the release of Act II. This is a good thing (also not an exaggeration). So much has been going on, that it is becoming hard to keep up with everything. And thusly, this mailer is probably going to wind up being the size of an over-achieving grad student’s senior thesis (probably an exaggeration).

What can I remember since the last time we spoke?
You know, it’s… a blur.
I mean, not complete amnesia… I remember Sister Mary-Margaret puking in church, and Betsy Riley said it was morning sickness. And I remember the time I forgot to wear underpants to school, and the name of the boy who noticed was… Ricky Friedburg, he’s dead now.
But… the last 2 months? Complete blur.

I do remember a show.

It was the greatest show that ever happened…
And by that, I mean it was the hottest stage we’ve ever played on. I really think all the technical difficulties we had were caused by the whole place melting out from under us.

I suppose there’s some correlation between hot and awesome. After all, nobody just up and moves to Alaska. Oh, Scartoe…

There is a list in the SoundMachine office of people who made the Act II release show possible. It contains over a hundred names. Most of them are dead now.
They will never know how truly grateful we, The Protomen, will always be for what they did for us, The Protomen.

To our allies in the ProtoOrchestra:
I have never met a group of musicians more willing to pack into a small corner of a rehearsal space, sitting on god knows what, and play rock and roll, completely unable to hear any sound produced by your instrument, or the instruments around you. (Except You Adam… good god those cymbals were shrill). You have our utmost respect and admiration.

To our allies in the Human Choir:
I wept, imagining what you must have sounded like. (We couldn’t hear you at all from the stage) But the hell you brought down on the crowd that night will not soon be forgotten. You portrayed humanity, not as it is, but as it should be… singing words that we wrote about robots. You have our love and adoration.

To our allies in the crowd:
Where in the world did you people come from?
The answer: Not Nashville.
If our fair city had half of your raised fists and roaring voices full time… well, we’d never have to leave.
Thank you for your blood, tears, and gallons of gross gross nerd sweat. You have our thanks and infinite devotion.

Following a night like that, you’d think that we, The Protomen, would sit back and take it easy for a while.
WRONG.
In war, there is no Fall Break.
No, comrades, after the clean up from hurricane “Act II Release Show,” we strapped ourselves into Jesse Christine, The Last of the V8 Interceptors, and headed east.

Unfortunately, of the 30 men and women that played the Act II release show and then climbed into our bus….only 10 survived. We lost almost all of the human choir, and every single string player. All that was left of them was a single violin, which Sir Robert Bakker picked up and made playing it look easy. Who knew he was an accomplished violinist? We did….that’s who.

The Part Where We Talk About The Tour:

Since “some of us” have doubts about your ability to take in great numbers of words in one sitting, we decided it would be best to remove the following section from the core mailer. The missing section is titled “Tour Talk With Commander Hawk,” and it is the start of a tour update blog that I will hopefully be updating regularly while on the road. It is a detailed report of our last tour up the East coast, including the true story of what happened to our bus. Should you like to read it (and you should), follow the next link:

If you’ve made it this far (and read “Tour Talk With Commander Hawk”)… Congratulations. I told you this would be long.
We have a few other important things to tell you, and there’s no time for holding back now.

All The Other Stuff We Need To Talk About:

Act II has made its way to a local College Radio Station near you. It is up to you to request the shit out of it. Even if you don’t live in listening range of a station, you can request anyway. Get their number. Call them. While you’re talking to them, find out if they have a streaming service on their website. Listen to college radio..it can be fun! You can learn new things! However, if they play terrible DoucheRock while you’re listening…it is your duty to call them back and berate them. Either way, the point is this: The more Act II is played over the sky sound machine(S) the higher the possibility of someone hearing it and joining the cause.
The more people that join the cause = The more we can do this thing right. America.

AMPERSAND for those of you that are on the evolutionary curve and have outgrown this XL economy, XXL shirts are now available in our Zambooie store. Do the deed.
*Note* I’ll send out another small update mailer the moment the posters are available.

For those of you following us on Twitter and the Myspace, you may have noticed us mentioning something about how you still have work to do, and such. Well, that work is due today. This is the last day to tell Lollapalooza that you think The Protomen should play music at their fancy little party. Do your work… Click Here.

If you’re in the Ohio area, you may want to make your way to Sharonville on Saturday. We are playing a show!
11/14/09 – Sharonville, OH – NerdPow – Holiday Inn (We play at 9:30pm)

Here’s your one chance, Fancy. Don’t let me down,

-Commander

P.S. – Just so everyone knows. The only show we’re playing this week is in Ohio. No Chicago Show. We don’t have a bus yet. We’re sorry for the sadness we’ve put all over you. Pass it on.