side note: all these b/fing complications make me wonder what ppl in tribes and stuff do...I mean, they can't just take a quick trip to BRU for a nipple shield, and they don't have formula....do they just not have these problems? Are Westerners just missing something?

That's a good question mama. I used to have the book Our Babies, Our Selves. It's been a long time since I've read it, but I think Ms. Smalley addresses those kinds of questions.

Try hanging in there. I know it's rough, my last two nurslings have had trouble, but it's soooo worth it in the end. Yes, it does get better. Would you consider co-sleeping? It has saved my sanity many times.

Already do I have even tried learning to nurse laying down, but couldn't get good at it...I was hoping to get the hang of it because the m/w said it is helpful for getting sleep.

Talked to my mom today and she said she had the same problem with my sister, she said it was because her supply was so low by the end of the night she was not getting a lot, so she would just feed constantly at night. She suggested pumping a bit extra throughout the day then giving her a bottle of breastmilk along with breastfeeding....hopefully it'll work!

Nursing while laying down is a fine art form and I think, requires a certain size of breast. I think larger breasts may have a harder time of it. I'm so naturally flat chested (I'm only an actual cup size when lactating) I can drape my nb across my chest perpendicular to my body and breast feed without even holding my baby. She just drapes across me, feeds, and falls asleep while I basically sleep through it. I don't think it'd work if I had honest to goodness breats.
Feeding on your side is possible without holding baby but again, hard to do with a larger breast though.

I think pumping and bottle feeding at night will help lots. Good luck!

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Crazy semi-crunchy scientist mama to 1 DD almost 10 yrs old and DD 2 born July '11. CDing, extended vaxing, ERF, even been known to co-sleep (gasp!), and trying my best to baby wear a very persnickety diva.

I'm right there with You mama. Breastfeeding is stressing me out and making my ppd worse rather than alleviating it like I was told. I had a super sleepy baby the first few weeks, almost comatose, now he's on the breast nonstop. I've also gotten to the point where bfing makes me agitated and antsy where I'm stressed out and counting the minutes and seconds.

I'm glad to hear other people say they were frustrated/antsy/etc!!! Makes me feel more normal about the situation...I was feeling like a pretty crappy momma!! Gonna try the bottle of milk the next few nights and *crosses fingers* hopefully it helps!

You are not alone! It will get better. I wanted to avoid using a paci but when I was wanting to give up because it was so frustrating, a paci saved my sanity. I would also suggest pumping and trying a bottle!

The midwives really stressed the side by side nursing and i didn't get it at first... When we started co-sleeping the side by side was an AMAZING life saver! Now he can nurse off and on as much as he wants and i barely wake up!

I also recommend the switch nursing. Also, can you try using a rolled up diaper/towel/baby blanket or whatever under your breast to support it? Then you might have an easier time compressing. I find football hold or cross cradle best for compressions. My Ds3 cluster feeds in the evenings and it is pretty frustrating sometimes. I would not feel bad to give (or have dh give) a bottle of my milk I had pumped earlier in the day, even just as a little break so I could get ready for bed! Sometimes a bottle will result in more gas though. Be sure to take plenty of breaks and burp. Even with a slow flow newborn nipple my ds takes a bottle much faster than he nurses. More spit-up then, too.
Don't worry, this all gets better and easier as they get bigger!
You can also start to try to multitask while nursing. Can you cradle hold with one arm and walk around. Then you have one arm free to rinse dishes or slowly fold some diapers. At least you can get something else done which can help you feel less antsy. Or try nursing with your baby in a sling or other carrier. I usually need one hand to keep my ds3 latched on in a carrier, but at least the other hand is free!

my thoughts:
one month of age is a growth spurt. you can read about growth spurts @ kellymom.com. it is a good sign mama.

expect this kind of nursing straight for the first 2 weeks, then at 1 mo, 2 mo, 3 month is a biggie, then each month thereafter but they nurse a lot quicker by 5-6mo, so the growth spurt (a day or so of wanting to nurse constantly) is more noticeable.

I found that my DS would "nap" at the breast often when he was a newbie, and this was a toughie. he woudl flail around so starving, then i woudl get him on then he;d fall asleep!
I would have to keep a wet washrag handy when feeding, when he;d start to doze off i woudl wipe his face, head, etc. get him to keep eating. sounds harsh but he would really konk out! He;s my best sleeper to this day.
they also say undressing baby helps, too. keep them awake to eat (during the day). try ti stay in cycles of eat, play, sleep. basically when first born, my babies did 40 mins. of nursing, then 30-40 mins, of naps. they nursed every 1-2 hours. sometimes just as long. I always nursed in front of the TV at this phase, until I was able to do it laying down. once they are a bit bigger it helps.

as they get older, you can also read - have a book handy on the couch for the nursing sessions. i am NAK right now. i always bring my laptop in the bedroom at night when nursing DS for the night. (he's one year)
nursing while lying down gets easier as they get slightly older. keep practicing... I only do this in the middle of the night now...

are you getting enough to eat/deink? I always found my supply was low when not getting enough water or skiping meals, etc. and i needed to eat/ drink like a horse post-partum no dieting yet! it took a day to get back 2 normal.

Can you feel a let-down? It should feel somewhat noticeable, then the gulpling, so you know she is getting something. if you have let down and no eating she would be choking. make sure you are relaxed & letting down.

Yes i think other cultures people have trouble but they also have lots of help around. lots of other women to help, oversee, etc. they dont have the pressures of getting back to work, etc, so no stress. they have all the time in the world. but also no TV. LOL

I hope you can get back to work ok. I know that when moms go back to work babies tend to wake more in the wee hours to get that "time". you are doing great, mama!

ETA: my last 2 woudl not take a paci. it made them gag. so I don't have much to offer on that, but if it works, i would use them!

side note: all these b/fing complications make me wonder what ppl in tribes and stuff do...I mean, they can't just take a quick trip to BRU for a nipple shield, and they don't have formula....do they just not have these problems? Are Westerners just missing something?

I wondered this same thing about my low supply issues. Then I realized that they probably have better information that's passed down that they've just figured out over the years. They're more community oriented and so that info wouldn't get "lost." My LC said she learned how to teach latch from an 80 year old woman who said that with the generations of formula feeding being the norm a lot of information got lost and we had to relearn it.

Something that helped DS feed faster was to give him some chin support from underneath. You kind of support it with a finger from that hand that is holding your breast. You can push fairly hard and it will make them suck in better.

We also did the switch nursing and that is helpful in keeping him awake. Diaper change first always. Football hold seems to keep him awake better and get a better latch to get more milk. Play around with positioning - you may find something that works better.

It took me awhile to figure out side by side nursing but it is a lifesaver. Try it when she's not screaming bloody murder and see if you can figure it out. For me it takes a lot of adjusting DS's head and me laying a certain way.