FOR EARTH DAY, 2014

A bison throw a cigarette butt out a car window
A flock of geese blow the top off a mountain
A seal cause an oil spill
A hippo drive a Hummer
A lemur leave the faucet dripping
A raccoon go out for the evening and leave all the lights in the house on
A bobcat fight legislation to lower smokestack emissions
A songbird sing “Drill Baby, Drill”
A panda declare bankruptcy to wriggle out of lawsuits after polluting a river
A pride of lions wage war over oil
A slug (the real kind, not the George Will kind) claim that our biggest worry is global cooling
A gorilla laugh at people who keep their tires properly inflated
A salmon pollute a stream with mercury
An elephant claim that his God says it’s okay to pillage the world’s natural resources willy-nilly because pachyderms are the “chosen ones”
A mockingbird mock public transportation
A polar bear claim that the melting ice caps are no big deal
A mountain goat shrug off earthquakes related to fracking for natural gas.
A monarch butterfly buy enough Congress members to retain billions in oil subsidies.

You’re staying at this spectacular
resort for a mere millisecond. Please
leave it better than you found it. PICTURE THE BLUE PLANET : EARTH