Handling a stingy spouse

Dealing with a partner who is stingy can be utterly frustrating. Here are some of the ways you can handle the situation

Understand the cause

Some people are innately cheap and nothing you do will change them. But they are a small minority. You have to try to understand why they are that way. Usually, there is a perfectly good reason for it – their job does not pay well, the job market is not stable, and they want to save money in case they are laid off– all excellent reasons to be frugal. Try and understand the cause of your partner’s penny-pinching habits. Talk to him or her to understand the reason behind his/her stingy behaviour rather than nagging, complaining or simply walking away.

Compromise on spending

As a couple, it is important that you and your partner share your financial lives; you will have to reach a compromise that suits both of you. When discussing your financial goals, plan how much you will put toward specific savings goals, such as towards retirement or a house. Plan how you will accommodate his or her need to save extra and still have room for personal spending and vacations. Once you have addressed your mutual goals and concerns, you won’t have to view your partner as a stingy person anymore.

Devise an alternative strategy

According to www.lifehacker.co.in, you may not be able to change your partner but you can definitely reduce your dependency on him or her. Spend on the things you like and pamper yourself. Show them that splurging at times doesn’t harm anybody. Let’s hope your ways and lifestyle will rub off on your partner and he or she may pick a hint or two on spending a bit more than planned.

Plan interesting budget dates

If you are enjoying a good time with your partner and don’t feel like bringing up the whole talk about his or her stingy nature, then take the baton in your hand and plan budget dates. Trade dining out at expensive restaurants to sipping hot tea at home. Go on morning walks together or just sit and watch the sunset in each other’s company.

Compromise without sacrificing your happiness

If you feel you are compromising a bit too much by altering your lifestyle, then do treat yourself to a luxurious date once in a while. Once you splurge on a good weekend trip, cut your expenditures on subsequent weeks to make up for the extra money spent on your affluent getaway. Talk it out with him or her in case he or she refuses to alternate between splurging and budgeting.

Be prepared for the worst

No, we aren’t talking of parting ways here. It is advisable that you carry your wallet and credit cards at all times when you are with a stingy partner. He or she may not carry extra cash, so you should have a back-up ready. Carry enough money to avoid embarrassment at a fine-dine restaurant or a movie theatre. Give out signals if the stingy behaviour is troubling you a bit too much and the one who loves you will understand your unspoken words without fail.

Give more love

Even if your significant other is stingy, you need to give more love and care as a spouse. This is not a time to withdraw your affection, as it will only worsen matters. You must clearly understand that money cannot buy feelings and such things are short lived.

Give up things to win their heart

Do not be argumentative to prove your ideas. Always give up and make him/her understand that which gives you more pleasure. Buy them gifts that will influence change and probably make them see reasons to spend more money.

Do not resort to threats

As a man or woman, know how to tender your requests before your spouse. Never use threats as a way of getting what you want from him or her. That may harden him or her the more. Use guilt as a weapon. Say things like, “Honey, when last have I made a request like this? You know I will not ask for assistance if I can help it. Please see what you can do, I’m counting on you.’’ It just might work.

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