Young people have it rough these days. The batteries run out on the cell phone. The Beemer's out of gas. And down at the beachfront country club there's this popular girl named Brittany who oughta hang out a shingle saying, "Murder Inc."

Brittany, played by TV actress Susan Ward, is the brunette vixen who propels "The In Crowd," a glossy piece of trash that opened yesterday without benefit of an advance screening. For critics, that's a loud warning signal that a turkey has arrived -- and this is no exception. "The In Crowd" was directed by Mary Lambert, a sometime feature director ("Pet Sematary") who also made Madonna's "Like a Prayer" video. She has a knack for sensuous surfaces and glib, bitchy interplay between actors -- and lets the ripe Ms. Ward chew it up as the devious Brittany.

The intricacies of teenage backbiting might have been occasion for a juicy romp, but "The In Crowd," which steals from "Melrose Place" and "Baywatch," could have been written by committee. Murder, cocktail parties and date rape are on the bill, along with lines such as "His parents bought him a Hummer just for going through rehab!"

Lori Heuring plays Adrien, a troubled-but-nubile blonde who gets a job at the country club after doing time at a psychiatric hospital. Brittany takes her under her wing and pretends to befriend her -- their bonding occurs during side-by-side pedicures -- when in fact she'd rath er cannibalize her.

There's also a tennis pro who takes a shine to Adrien, a golf pro who encourages her to "spread your legs" to achieve the proper putting stance and an embittered plain Jane who warns her against the menacing Brittany ("the girl's got some fangs").

Keeping in the tradition of oversexed teen flicks, there's also a dance-club sequence in which Adrien and Brittany form a vertical love sandwich with a gyrating hunk. The acting style is familiar: before delivering a line, the actresses frequently drop their jaws and shake their heads, as if the absurdity of their little world was too enormous for words.

"The In Crowd" is rated PG-13, which means no bare breasts and only one "f" word. Watchful parents should use discretion nonetheless: When Brittany slips into psycho mode and reaches for a shovel or a pair of hedge clippers, the results aren't attractive.

The actors, predictably, are all gorgeous, airbrushed and gym- enhanced. Representing the older generation are Tess Harper and Daniel Hugh Kelly. Apparently underemployed in youth-conscious Hollywood, they have throwaway parts as a hospital administrator and a randy, unethical shrink.