Archive for the ‘genetic coding’ Category

Perhaps it is time to admit a new gender to the human race, ‘womyn’, the male version of women. Because some men are behaving as though there was no difference in the sexes. They are masculine without being macho; empathetic, sensitive, nurturing, resilient, compassionate, and many other traits that have been traditionally considered feminine. This is essential, because it is the male of the species who must change, not the female, if true equality of the sexes is to occur. Of course, as men change, so will women. But the changes in society that must occur involve men being able to act more feminine, not women becoming more manly.

Even big, hunky men can behave as gently and compassionately as a women would, and they naturally would, except for programming from their society that such behavior is unmanly. In repressing women, men have repressed themselves, denying themselves the outlet of emotion, the renewing effects of nurturing, the vulnerability of displaying affection for another. By admitting that men can behave in feminine ways, we admit to a blurring of the lines between male and female. Our society insists on maintaining very definite roles for men and women, That must change, we must recognize that gender and social roles are not set in stone.

Black Friday. Materialism is in control of the television, the radio, the newspaper, even the web. ‘Save Now!’ ‘Lowest prices of the season!’ Sanity deserts the shopping malls, the strip malls, the streets.

Meanwhile, the days grow shorter, and colder. Winter is upon us, and our instincts are screaming ‘conserve’, ‘hibernate’, ‘hunker down’. Survival has always meant eating very little, staying indoors, dressing warmly, because what we have now will have to last until next Summer.

Many people find this season depressing, the desire to spend freely on loved ones conflicting with the reality of an empty pocketbook. The expense of a gift overshadows the concept of giving a gift, as if the amount that we spend on someone reflects how much we care about them. People will go into debt to insure that the gifts that they give are ‘acceptable’.

This is a time when we should be reflecting on the year past, and remembering our ancestors. This is a time for working on handicrafts, making gifts for those we love. When we spend hours on a gift, we work our love into it. The energy we pour into that item will be received by the person we are thinking about, a gift which can not be bought.

The darkness is a time of love, of remembrance, a time for sitting by a fire, knitting, carving, painting, creating a unique gift for a unique person. If you wouldn’t spend hours working on a gift for a person, perhaps they don’t deserve anything beyond a card. The important thing is to remember others, not to try to impress them with how stupid you are. Don’t spend money you don’t have trying to get someone to love you.

The United States has no harvest festival celebration on a national level. Most other countries with an agrarian past recognize the importance of the annual harvest, the joy of abundance, and the fruits of shared labor. Oktoberfest in Germany, Thanksgiving in Canada, these are holidays with ancient roots, based on the relief and happiness that harvest time brought, when the crops were in, and the hard work was done.

This was the one ancient festival which enjoyed a broad menu, because so many products which were not suitable for long-term storage were available. Fresh fruits and vegetables were a true luxury for our ancestors, and diets were often monotonous. Music and dancing were enjoyed during harvest festivals, a rarity in a time without recorded music. For many, this would be the last social event they would participate in until the Yule Tide. Autumn was a time of conserving resources, hoarding food and fuel for the long winter months ahead.

America’s only nod to a harvest festival is Thanksgiving, a totally artificial, contrived holiday with no historical basis. Too late in the year for the outdoor festivities of harvest time, Thanksgiving is meant only to be the recognition of the saving of the Pilgrims by the generosity of the Native Americans who saved them from starving to death. Somehow, this supplanted the more traditional harvest festivals, although some are still held locally.

Perhaps the worst thing about the American Thanksgiving is that it now juxtaposes two conflicting concepts, Death and eternal life. Death is represented by the harvest, the cornucopia, the autumn colors. The sacrifice made so that Life can continue. Eternal life is represented by the Yule Tide colors used in the commercials advertising the Black Friday sales. And Thanksgiving does not mark the start of the ‘Holiday Season.’ At least, not in my book. No, Thanksgiving falls at a time when we are genetically inclined to be less active, so that we may conserve our resources. Thousands of generations have survived by hunkering down during autumn.

Some how, I would like to see a revival of the ancient harvest festival, held in late September or early October, as a time to recognize the importance of working together, sharing the abundance of the Earth, and of community, without which none of us would be here. This would be a completely natural holiday, one rich in traditions, and intuitively understood.

All of my life, I have hated myself. When I was a child, I would go into destructive fits, tearing apart things that were important to me, or that I valued. I denied myself, believing that no one would be interested in me. I deny myself, refusing to do things that will make me feel better, or to have fun. Most of my life, I felt that I was ugly, repulsive even. People thought that I was aloof and stand-offish, and perhaps I was, but I was avoiding social contacts because they made me feel bad about myself.

All of these traits, these symptoms, are the result, I believe, of not receiving adequate affirmation when I was a child of 3 or 4. Too many times, I heard “I don’t have time for that right now!” or, “Wait until later.” For some reason, I began to believe that I was defective, broken, inferior, or even bad. This value judgement colored every aspect of my existence, a cage I built for myself.

You see, I am convinced that there is a genetic instinct to try to be assimilated by the elders of a group, an urge to be part of the tribe. As children, we seek behavior that reassures us that we are important, that we belong, that someone cares about us. When someone gives you a hug, that is a powerful signal. But when someone will take time to listen to you, or to sing a song with you, or to interact with you in some way, that is a powerful signal too. That kind of behavior is called affirmation, and it is the signal our genetic inheritance causes us to seek out, because individuals cannot survive.

Being a part of a group is the most important survival strategy there is, the only way we can have any hope that our lives will have meaning. If I am not part of a group, everything I have learned, everything that I have accomplished, will all disappear when I am gone. The trail that I made will not be used, and if it is, the identity of the maker will be lost. Even more importantly, if I am injured, or ill, I have some chance of surviving if I am part of a group.

Group membership was so important, I believe, that we are hardwired to seek out affirmation, the only feedback we can be sure of. To a child, ‘later’ means ‘never’, because they live in the moment. To a child, ‘later’ is a rejection, a denial. All of the making-up done later may have no effect if the child has rejected themselves, as I did.

For some reason, I have begun to feel like we need to communicate with each other using archetypes, concepts which have universal meaning, and which evoke emotional reactions. The unraveling of our society, of the world itself, may be a result of a loss of empathy with each other, the result of our using our own distinct vocabulary when talking with others. We may be speaking the same language, but words are drifting in meaning, being skewed by slang uses, trendy phads, txt mssg, and our own specialization. When I speak of a duty cycle when dealing with problems, I loss 98.9 percent of my audience, whereas a person telling me about how their job makes them just chill all day leaves me confused.

Concepts like home, sharing, warmth, the sound of voices, a circle, a hearth, family, feeling needed, looking out for each other, hugging, are universal, embedded in our genetic memory. These are things that we share, our common heritage, created over thousands and thousands of generations, the result of surviving in a hostile world, where sleeping in trees leads to fear of falling. Not every single one of us has the exact same genetic coding as any one else, but we do share a great deal. Standing around an open fire, eating together, laughter, these are our common ground, not screaming at a football game, shooting pool, or getting drunk. We are all people, who have the same needs, the same fears, but different paths have brought us to where we are, and we cannot rely on our experience giving us common ground.

Communicating using archetypes is cumbersome, vague, and slow, but it proves that we are indeed similar in certain ways, and finding that bridge is essential in learning to share this existence. Walk with me.

We are in the last days of Autumn, the shortest days are only a couple of weeks away. Night is taking over, and the God has traveled to the Underworld, to experience Death again, so that he may be renewed. Now is not the time for revelry, we must wait until the Solstice has passed, and we have made sure that the Sun is returning. We dare not affront the gods by celebrating something so dire, so impossible to survive, as the Sun leaving us forever, casting us into darkness, where nothing will grow, and no hope can exist. A vigil was kept until dawn, so that the place where the Sun rose could be carefully noted, and the Solstice verified. But sometimes the weather was bad, and one could not be sure for a few days whether the Sun was indeed returning. Taking things for granted was not widely done in the past.

Modern people don’t think about affronting the gods, they just party when they feel like it. Right now, people are partying, yet the days are getting shorter, and colder. Now is the time to appreciate the darkness, so that we can truly embrace the return of the Sun after the Solstice. Many people feel like hibernating during this time, a survival trait deeply ingrained in our genes, a method to survive the winter without starving to death. When candles were the only source of artificial light, staying awake after dark was a waste of time, unless there was something really important to do. Enjoy the darkness, save the celebration for the end of December and early January, when we traditionally celebrated the Yule, the beginning of a new year.