My view: Writer now sees the error of his ways

Mark Paul

The other day a friend asked me what my New Year's resolution might be. I thought about it for a while, and in light of the fact that I am now a member of a minority, I think it's time to change my ways. You see, I am, (oops), was a Conservative. Now don't let that scare you. I am trying to change into what Democrats would consider a good human being; it just takes time. Like any alcoholic, or abuser of thought, the first step is admitting I have a problem. I might say some things here that will curl your hair if you're a Democratic voter, but don't worry, I am seeking absolution. Here is my 12-step program for redemption:

? I am sorry for thinking that the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights were the most incredible documents ever conceived by man. Obviously, they are really just a set of guidelines that any politician or judge can choose to follow or adapt to fit the needs of the day.

? I am sorry that I actually believed that we citizens were supposed to keep our elected representatives accountable to their office. I actually thought that they worked for us. Obviously, we are subservient to them because they know the true nature of any problem and the solution to it. Look how well they've guided us to $16 trillion in debt.

? I am sorry for believing that the money I earn is actually mine and that I pay taxes based on my earnings. Obviously, all money belongs to the government because they know best how to spend it. I must remember to thank my leaders for whatever amount they let me keep.

? I am sorry that I thought that my rights come from God. That may be my most egregious thought of all. Obviously, all my rights come from Democrats.

? I am sorry for believing that this country was founded on the notion that under capitalism, if you worked hard, you may achieve great things and be rewarded for it. Obviously, by today's standards that just doesn't cut it. If you do make good, it wasn't your doing, it was society as a whole, so you must pay for your success.

? I am sorry for thinking that socialism is the worst form of government because it creates dependency, and robs people of their ability to take advantage of self-discipline and self-reliance. Obviously, socialism ensures that every citizen gets the same out of life no matter how much effort they put into it. I mean really, it's not fair that some people succeed and some fail. Socialism assures equality of outcomes, without equality of effort.

? I am sorry that I had the audacity to think that Bengasi, Libya, was an example of incompetence and cover-up in the State Department and the Obama administration. I actually believed the evidence that showed four people were murdered while nothing was done to stop it. Obviously, nothing could have been done. The attack only lasted seven hours. Since nobody in the press cares what happened there, I must conclude that Bengasi is just a new kind of hemorrhoid cream. Spread it on, and all your conspiracy thoughts go away.

? I am sorry for believing in freedom and liberty. I always thought that we must hold our rights close to heart. They are very hard to get back once we give them up. Obviously, my new found faith in our benevolent government means that I don't have to worry because my leaders will always have my back. My loss of freedom is worth the security they provide.

Okay, so there is my 12-step plan for redemption. Yes, I realize there is only eight, but as I immerse myself in my new-found liberalism, all of my promises are coming up short. Before my enlightenment, I might have closed with a warning like, "Any government that is big enough to give us anything we want, is also big enough to take everything we have," but don't worry, I now realize that it never was ours to begin with.

I think I feel better. Do you?

Mark Paul is a Vesper resident.

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My view: Writer now sees the error of his ways

The other day a friend asked me what my New Year's resolution might be. I thought about it for a while, and in light of the fact that I am now a member of a minority, I think it's time to change my

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