In a recent post, our Party Organ Donor Ivan Betinov described his "disturbing and traumatic experience" caused by a phone answering system that directed him to "press one for English" and "PRESS TWO FOR SPANISH." Being a "differently bodied" Comrade in a Jar, Betinov was outraged by this country's continued attempts to make second-class citizens out of our undocumented worker population. He then brilliantly suggested that it was demeaning always to relegate them to "number two" status, not to mention other non-English speakers. This got me thinking: why is the "number 1" always given such status? Should not all numbers be treated as equals?

~Giants stand on the shoulders of Giants! For Comrade "Brain in the Jar" Betinov responded as follows:

The Campaign for Numerical Equality has begun! 1+1=2?NO! Replace all numerals with "X"!

X+X=X!

This then led to my proclamation of the People's Algebra. I began discovering the new groundbreaking rules:

X=X=XX+X=XX-X=XX*X=XX/X=X

And of course...

OPM=Hillary's

This led Comrade Betinov to rightfully proclaim the following:

Comrade Betinov

Commissar Pup, I am feeling a little dizzy with success. Or maybe Scotch. Little did I know when I typed that fateful formula that I was pioneering a new science of the People's Algebra. But it fits, nyet? Much like the People's Cube, it guarantees equality of success regardless of talent or intelligence, and like all good social engineering it makes you feel good without actually accomplishing anything.That's when I discovered what I now call PeopleMath™!

It is the ultimate math that proves we are all equal. It also provides us with a symbol for "some are more equal than others."

For instance....Commissar Pupovich ≈ Comrade X

Further reflection has led to further necessary rules; needless to say there are more to be developed:

> ≈ <> ≈ =< ≈ =

Etc....

I am still making discoveries in PeopleMath™ and its implications. One thing should also be obvious.... While X ≈ X and in theory, everyone has as much as anyone else (we are all equal), it should also be clear that a Party Member's X is more equal to a non-party member's X if we proclaim it so, or it is less equal than a non-party member's X if we choose. Now we have the mathematical underpinning to prove this!

Party Equality Corollary:

For instance: Prole X claims it is not fair that he has nothing more than ragged old clothes, a postage-stamp-size potato garden, and has to share a mud puddle with the collective - while the Chairman enjoys all of his Hummels, fine food, dachas etc.

Not at all, Premier Betty. Nobody "flunks" in education anymore...you might get an "E" for not passing, but you certainly wouldn't get an F. Besides, nobody can fail at the People's Math.

Commisar Pup--and thank you by the way for including me in the above paper; very uncharacteristic of the Party to acknowledge the contributions of others (guess those pictures I have of you from Burning Man came in handy after all)--the implications of your extrapolation of the basic premise are staggering (as am I): we can apply the People's Math to election returns! For example, in traditional, capitalist-derived math you would have to set up the equation thusly:

Let X = the number of people who vote for HillaryLet Y = the number of people who vote for evilLet Z = the number of registered voters who actually get out and vote

Let X = number of people who vote for HillaryLet X = Misguided fools who don't vote for HillaryLet X = Number of registered voters + undocumented workers, house pets and root vegetables

SO:

(X - X)*X + X = HRC + DC/AF1 (# of voters minus fools who vote against the Dear Leader multiplied by those who did vote for truth and justice and all that other stuff plus however many votes manufactured to balance the equation equals all votes being cast for Hillary, who immediately jets to DC on Air Force One)

THUS proving mathematically that Hillary will win the next election (so why even bother to hold it?)

BTW Commissar Pup...I am but only recently arrived at the glorious collective here, but some bits of information I have seen in your posts prompts me to ask if the phrase "Geaux Tigers" means anything to you. If so, this may have big and wonderous implications for the collective

Commisar Pup--and thank you by the way for including me in the above paper; very uncharacteristic of the Party to acknowledge the contributions of others (guess those pictures I have of you from Burning Man came in handy after all)--the implications of your extrapolation of the basic premise are staggering...[

How could I not mention your contributions? It was your observations of the inequalities of the Press 1 for English that stirred my Progressive Pup brain, and of course you also collaborated on that. Frankly, I would not be a bit surprised if we were not nominated for the Nobel Prize for Mathematics, and possibly even some award here, not that that is why we have done this work for.

Of course the Party has always known and acted following many of these principles, we were only lacking the mathematical proof that underpinned these principles.

Premier, as my esteemed collaborator Comrade Betinov has stated, you will not fail the test. Oh no, you will pass before it is over. You just need to discipline the mind! But I do have to wonder whether you have read all the required reading materials.

Here is a video of PeopleMath™ in action, Here you will see Comrade O'Brien in a training session with a "person" who had failed, does indeed pass in the end. The math lesson begins about a third of the way past the start.

....I have seen in your posts prompts me to ask if the phrase "Geaux Tigers" means anything to you. If so, this may have big and wonderous implications for the collective

Oh yes! It certainly means everything to the Commissar! The Commssar is from the Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengal Tigers of LSU! Geaux #1 Tigers! And today, well, I only hope this continues especially since this is Go To Hell Ole Miss day down heah!

Oh yes! It certainly means everything to the Commissar! The Commssar is from the Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengal Tigers of LSU! Geaux #1 Tigers!

And here is the miracle that is the People's Cube: I too am a Tiger, but a Tiger of a different Stripe. WEGL, WEGL, War-DAMN-Eagle, Kickeminnabutt BIG BLUE!

For the unwashed heathens out there who are not of the true faith of the SEC, the Bayou Bengal Tiger and the Plains-Dwelling Auburn Tiger are mortal enemies in nature...yet here in the peace that is the Party, we can and do collaborate collectively for the common good.

_____ X. If Commissar Pupovich has X Mercedes-Benz automobiles with gold-plated hubcaps and hot and cold running vodka dispensers, and a common Prole has X elderly Dodge Caravan minivan with a flat tire and broken air conditioning, who is guilty of a hate crime?

A. Commissar PupovichB. The Common ProleC. GermanyD. George Bush

_____ X. Comrade Theocritus contributes $XXXX to Hillary's campaign fund. If the maximum legal individual contribution is $XXXX, how much more can Comrade Theocritus contribute?

A. NoneB. The Nazi Bush Administration is guilty of war crimesC. Less than he ought to be able toD. It depends on how many minimum-wage earning Chinese dishwashers he knows

_____ x. Sister Massively Opiated wants to create a legion of Necro-proxies to swing the Ohio vote. If the Rethuglicans have an XX,XXXX voter lead in the most recent CNN poll, and it takes SMO X minutes to create a Necro-proxy, how long will it take for SMO to deliver Ohio to the feet of the Empress?

A. X Days and XX hours.B. She can't, because Bush will rig the electionC. It depends on what the definition of "is" is.D. This is a trick question because CNN would never report that a Rethuglican leads in the polls

_____ x. If Jorge the undocumented worker will mow lawns for X dollars per hour, and the average lawn takes X hours to mow, how many lawns does he have to mow to make the maximum legal contribution to the Hillary campaign?

A. George Bush is a racistB. It depends on how many minimum-wage earning Chinese dishwashers he knowsC. It depends on what stance Hillary is taking on the question of issuing driver's licenses to undocumented workers at the momentD. X

_____ x. It will require X dollars to implement the enhanced S-CHIP coverage for the poor and neglected children that Bush hates. How many babies did Dick Cheney eat for breakfast?

A. X, because he's trying to manage his cholesterolB. X, because he was really hungry this morningC. X, but only because brave patriots were using the rest to block access to military basesD. X, because he had to share with houseguest Karl Rove

...the Bayou Bengal Tiger and the Plains-Dwelling Auburn Tiger are mortal enemies in nature...yet here in the peace that is the Party, we can and do collaborate collectively for the common good.Comrades, comrades... Don't you know that the People's Math has recently proven the following:

History Channel ≈ Comedy Central

Comrade Red Square, Party Members need only to inscribe a small red star next to their names on the exam and turn it in blank. Their papers will be handed off to a graduate teaching assistant, who will fill in the correct answers, add X bonus points and draw a large smiley face next to the score.

And here is the miracle that is the People's Cube: I too am a Tiger, but a Tiger of a different Stripe. WEGL, WEGL, War-DAMN-Eagle, Kickeminnabutt BIG BLUE

For the unwashed heathens out there who are not of the true faith of the SEC, the Bayou Bengal Tiger and the Plains-Dwelling Auburn Tiger are mortal enemies in nature...yet here in the peace that is the Party, we can and do collaborate collectively for the common good.

The People's Cube. Is there anything it cannot do?Great Stalin's Ghost! This is unbelievable! Who would have ever thought there was an Auburn fan with a brain? Much less one in a jar? This is truly amazing though, the Cube has made us comrades... but let's not tell any other LSU or Auburn fans...We have our reputations to protect after all.

*For those who don't know, LSU are TRULY mortal enemies... It was one of these games that actually registered on the Richter scale, the infamous Earthquake game... then there was the time when LSU was playing at Auburn, some Auburn fans actually set fire to their own gymnasium during the game in a futile attempt to distract my beloved LSU Tigers.

Next week we shall learn how to prove the above People's Theorems with People's Logic.

So Glorious Cubed One.... You approve of our work developing the PeopleMath™? Is it worthy of a Nobel Prize or some other such award? Of course, we do not seek fame or fortune.... er,,,, well, fortune perhaps, which of course will go to Hillary.

... but let's not tell any other LSU or Auburn fans...We have our reputations to protect after all.

Entirely agreed, Commissar; should we meet in person, I suggest a mutual "spitting on the shadows" exercise to maintain our public facade.

Quote:

then there was the time when LSU was playing at Auburn, some Auburn fans actually set fire to their own gymnasium during the game in a futile attempt to distract my beloved LSU Tigers.

I was at that game, comrade, and not to dispute your version of the facts, but I did see the LSU defensive tackle nudging the ball backward with his toe when all other heads were turned to watch as the flames shot up above the level of the stadium.... In all seriousness, that was a Hell of a sight; the gym that went up in flames (and yes, it was a careless AU fan who had set a hot hibachi up against the wall of the building before going to the game--said he didn't want anyone to trip over it) was directly across the street from the stadium. Flames did indeed blaze a good 200 feet in the air and the shower of sparks when the roof caved in was spectacular. But this is the SEC; they didn't stop the game or delay a single play as a four-alarm fire raged literally within 100 yards of the stadium.

Yes, Commissar. Your thinking in this area of People's Science is Party-approved. The Visual Agitation Directorate has promptly added graphics to your post, completing the task ahead of schedule! Scroll up!

It has also been moved to the Current Truth section, which makes it the Party Editorial.

I just had a realization that when I earlier said that I was standing on the shoulders of giants, I forgot that in the case of my collaborator in PeopleMath™, I really should have noted that I was standing on the "Jar" of others since Comrade Betinov has donated his brain to the Party. Sorry about that mistake Comrade! I do hope that I didn't make you feel disparaged in any way with you being a "differently bodied" Comrade in a Jar so to speak.

Entirely agreed, Commissar; should we meet in person, I suggest a mutual "spitting on the shadows" exercise to maintain our public facade.

Agreed! LOL!

Ivan Betinov

I was at that game, comrade, and not to dispute your version of the facts, but I did see the LSU defensive tackle nudging the ball backward with his toe when all other heads were turned to watch as the flames shot up above the level of the stadium....

We know how to play defense don't we?

Ivan Betinov

In all seriousness, that was a Hell of a sight; the gym that went up in flames (and yes, it was a careless AU fan who had set a hot hibachi up against the wall of the building before going to the game....Flames did indeed blaze a good 200 feet in the air and the shower of sparks when the roof caved in was spectacular. But this is the SEC; they didn't stop the game or delay a single play as a four-alarm fire raged literally within 100 yards of the stadium.

Wow! So you were actually there eh? I bet that was exciting even if the ending was not to your tastes... I only saw the game on TV, but that was indeed a sight! Those flames could be seen licking up above the stadium in the background, and nary a delay in game for we know what is more important eh? Nothing like a good old SEC slobberknocker!

I still have shoulders...they're just somewhere else. If it makes you feel any better, somebody dropped a half-eaten fig Newton in my jar last week. And I'm not sure, since it's been a long time since I've seen it, but I think that's my head that the Visual Agitation Directorate used for the People's Math logo. See the flip-top skull?

Something has my concern here comrades. Whenever the members of the party substitutes a letter for a number, I see much more of the letter “X” than the rest of the alphabet. Should not all letters of the alphabet be equal? The only one who has practiced keeping the letters equal is Comarde Hasan. All other members of the party, I see continue to use “X” much, much too often and suppressing the other letters. Do not the other letters have feelings too? I opt that we put together a government investigation panel for this.

Thank you, Comrade R.Fox, for representing. It is high time someone spoke on behalf of the small and unfairly treated group of Alphabetian-Americans. Nobody ever asks our comrades the Letters if they want to be present in any particular word every single time or not. It's time we radically changed that by unionizing Comrades Letters. Visualize a headline: "Supreme Court rules in favor of Alphabetian-Americans, allows leaves, vacations, and last-minute substitutions."

All Letters must also receive equal pay regardless of how many times each is used in a particular book, magazine, or newspaper. Royalties to be paid from the sales of each printed item except Party literature. Payments to be sent to the rightful representatives of Comrades Letters at the Party headquarters, c/o Propaganda Department.

Actually, there is a very good reason why we chose to use X exclusively in this paper Comrades. We understood, as has been demonstrated in several posts, that the explanation of PeopleMath™ could prove difficult for some of our comrades as it is. Therefore, in an effort to try and minimize confusion and maximize understanding, it was critical to use but one letter.

For instance, had we said:

Z + Z ≈ BThis would look no different than the non-progressive concept that 2 + 2 = 4, and would not convey the important principles that we are conveying.

Whereas the following PeopleMath™ equation...using another letter if you will..

J + J ≈ J

is a clearer example of the important principles we are showing.

In fact, we considered the fact that all letters are equal, and I grant it is seemingly non-progressive that we ended up using an X which is often the letter used in non-progressive mathematical expressions. But we actually placed all the letters in Comrade Betinov's jar and used a blindfolded erotic toaster salesperson to choose the letter at random. It just happened to be an X. It was just important to use one letter in our explanations and papers until everyone becomes properly indoctrinated.

I got a government grant as a differently-bodied American that provides for all my needs...seeing eye prole, transcript services, thought-controlled keyboard...the works.

Just got done with the LSU game. Seems your boys don't get serious until the second half, but when they do, watch out!

Ah, thanks for the explanation. Yes, that is the talk of the town for awhile now. We have all these great athletes, yet we haven't seen the fire they had when they started out the season such as when they absolutely demolished a good Virginia Tech team and others. Sometimes they seem way too confident, and it tends to bite them at times, such as when they started that Alabama game kicking butt, then seemed to relax and next thing you know, they have to turn it on in the second half.

Actually, there is a very good reason why we chose to use X exclusively in this paper Comrades. We understood, as has been demonstrated in several posts, that the explanation of the People's Math™ could prove difficult for some of our comrades as it is. Therefore, in an effort to try and minimize confusion and maximize understanding, it was critical to use but one letter.

For instance, had we said:

Z + Z ≈ BThis would look no different than the non-progressive concept that 2 + 2 = 4, and would not convey the important principles that we are conveying.

Whereas the following People's Math™ equation...using another letter if you will..

J + J ≈ J

is a clearer example of the important principles we are showing.

In fact, we considered the fact that all letters are equal, and I grant it is seemingly non-progressive that we ended up using an X which is often the letter used in non-progressive mathematical expressions. But we actually placed all the letters in Comrade Betinov's jar and used a blindfolded erotic toaster salesperson to choose the letter at random. It just happened to be an X. It was just important to use one letter in our explanations and papers until everyone becomes properly indoctrinated.

My problem does not lie in the fact that you used the same letter in the same equation; it is that "X" was the most represented in all the posts. I suggest that in the order of fairness, that we keep switching out the letters from post to post, as such:

W+W=WT+T=TC+C=C

People can see this and yet still get the concept that the party is trying to teach them.

Me thinks that there is still some kapitlist edukation left in the minds of the party members.

I also think it is time for another protest.

DO NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ALPHABET-AMERICANS!ALPHABET-AMERICANS FOR EQUAILTY!ALPHABET-AMERICANS FOR HILLARY!

<off character>

The equation x+x=x has been always my favorite, due to the fact of it's paradox. As probably most of you know, when a computer comes to this equation, it will keep adding to x (yes, yes, I know, it can also be simplified to x++ in most programming languages). The computer continues to count until it runs out of memory. Of course if the computer has unlimited memory, then it will be just as happy to count forever until infinity (a concept that I try to neither picture nor wrap my mind round for the fear that I know that I would go crazy trying to figure it out).

<on character>

By the way Comrade Pup, I suggest next time that you do not put the letter "X" in the draw because the letter "X" has had its fair share of being a mathematical number substitute.

Commissar RedtheProgressiveFox, I certainly have no problem using other letters, it was just the luck of the draw at the time. but we will try to be more diverse in the future. It is just X has also traditionally meant Unkonwn.

BTW, it is best if you can to use ≈ which denotes the very important concept of "more equal" or even "less equal" than others depending on the usage. The imperialist capitalist = sign is associated with a rigid, morally bankrupt concept of equality that can lead to Thought Crime if one is not careful.

For instance....

Hillary ≈ Chairman

is actually a true statement, in that denotes that Hillary is more equal than the Chairman where

Hillary = Chairman

is a Thought Crime.

As for the computer things, while I am certainly no expert, in at least VBA, X+X=X is not a never ending thing. In VBA, it is perfectly normal to say....

MyVariable + YourVariable = MyVariable. That would just tell the computer to add MyVariable and YourVariable, the sum of which would now become MyVariable. It would end there unless you told it to loop back and do it again.

Ah, good note on the equal sign Commissar, better check myself as well :).

No, you are right, it would end there, unless you added a loop, which is what I was thinking, but was not paying attention, so did not write it down. Still the conecpt of a never-ending equation keeps me interested.

Loop (0<1)Print x;x = x + x;

One of the first things that I put into practice when I first started learning programming. (and yes, I am using pseduo-code in the example. Instead of being smart and just learning one language at a time, I have only learned a little bit of several and get confused [lol]).

In your descent into capitalist pride at being recognized by our Most Equal (Red Square) and thus being Unsocialistically Placed on a People's Pedestal above the rest of us, you forget the most important mathematical principle: Absolute Value. In the Peoples Math, all values must be Absolute. All Pedestals must be equal height. To paraphrase the Party Lion, Comrade Kennedy, "How else can we make everyone above average?" Therefore, your pedestal must be as deep in a trench as are the rest of our pedestals. Indeed, most of our pedestals-- save those of our beloved leaders-- must be holes, lest we become too vain to wear the "Che" shirts to glorify the Revolution.

For those not yet graduated from the Peoples' ReEducation Camp, "Absolute Value" in the Peoples Math is the same as "Absolute Value" in other scientific disciplines--viz:

Death Science: Dead=Dead; Really Dead=Dead; Extremely Dead=Dead, and, of course, the reverse is equally "Absolute" and is generally the most scientifically appropriate expression of the Formulae of Absolutisms:

Dead=Dead

Dead=Really Dead

Dead=Extremely Dead

Reproduction Science:

Pregnant=Pregnant

More Pregnant=Pregnant

Extremely Pregnant=Pregnant.

I digress for the sake of science: I must confess having seen someone "extremely pregnant" (decades ago). It required great communication skills on my part to enable her to understand that she was merely "pregnant"; however, the stupid capitalist gynecologist convinced her otherwise and then helped her deliver concrete proof. It was then I discovered the solution-- If More Pregnant=Pregnant, then Less-Pregnant=Pregnant; hence Pregnant=Finished Being Pregnant, so I rested my case. Now, back to today's lesson:

Sexiness:

Sexy=Sexy

Extremely Sexy=Sexy

Trans-Sexy=Sexy

Non-Sexy=Sexy

NOW=Sexy

Even the most loyal party members sometimes forget this Principle of Absolute Value. For example, last year, Sharon Stone expressed the deviant thought that Hillary is "too" sexy to be President. (That link is to the WayBack Machine's archives of the internet, so scroll-down on that page to find the March 27, 2006 article.) We NOW know that since all women are equally sexy, none can be "too" sexy. And, NOW that Hillary has begun her Long March to the White House, Sharon Stone has finally recognized that all women are equally sexy and therefore, she now "exhibits" her support for Hillary:

Nevertheless, as shown below (in Flash or wmv format), there remain some women who seem determined to undermine Party Doctrine that all women are "equally sexy." (Patience may be required for loading-time before "play" becomes operational)

Now, to resume the lesson by focusing on labor.

Labor=Labor

Overtime Labor=Labor

Ooops-- can't go there-- This might cause a disability in the lever-pulling arms or chad-punching fingers or screen-touching fingers of our always dependable Unionized Order of Perpetual Students in Voting ReEducation. I guess we sometimes must sacrifice science on the altar of what's best for those on the pedestals higher than, but equal in height to, our own.

So, Comrade Pupovich, the Collectivist Power of my mind's knowledge that all our pedestals are equal enables me to block the pain of the strain in my neck as I turn my head steeply upward to admire your glorious visage on your pedestal, the height-of-which-greater-than-mine=the-height-of-mine. Hence, the final formula:

In your descent into capitalist pride at being recognized by our Most Equal (Red Square) and thus being Unsocialistically Placed on a People's Pedestal above the rest of us, you forget the most important mathematical principle: Absolute Value. In PeopleMath™, all values must be Absolute. All Pedestals must be equal height. To paraphrase the Party Lion, Comrade Kennedy, "How else can we make everyone above average?" Therefore, your pedestal must be as deep in a trench as are the rest of our pedestals. Indeed, most of our pedestals-- save those of our beloved leaders-- must be holes, lest we become too vain to wear the "Che" shirts to glorify the Revolution.

Lenin Forbid! I do hope I did not come across as being prideful for my role. and do not forget the tremendous work done by Ivan Bertinov. in helping develop PeopleMath™. Personally, I have only prided myself on my humility.

However, while we are still working on some of the more complicated issues, I must point out that as of this time, we have been unable to prove any such morally decrepit concept as absolute value. For instance, you state that:

Dead=Dead

Dead=Really Dead

This is another instance showing the need to use the correct symbol ≈ so that it should read

Dead ≈ Really Dead

Why is this important you ,may ask? Consider this equation:

Really Dead = Necro Proxy Voter

Clearly this is not an equality. Some Really Dead are less equal than other Really Dead.

The same holds true with pedestals etc. For instance. I know you would not say that

Kommissar of Fatwas Pedestal = Potato Farm Prole Pedestal

where as it would be correct to say

Kommissar of Fatwas Pedestal ≈ Potato Farm Prole Pedestal

There is still work to be done, but consider what you said ""Absolute Value" in PeopleMath™ is the same as "Absolute Value" in other scientific disciplines"

For instance, non-progressive "scientists" would claim that Absolute Zero is equal to 0 K (–273.15 °C). However, if you will notice, they must resort to the un-progressive use of an ordered number system to make such false statements.

As I hope I have made clear, most of us already understood the principles, that some are more equal than others etc, Betinov and yours truly only tried to develop the mathematical proofs and evidence of the Party's truth.

Comrade Commissar Pupovich, this is truly the greatest revolution in Progressive education since "new math" was introduced during the 1960s- '70s. If we think the Proletariat Youth are dumb now, wait'll they start learning this. Glorious!

And we now have a Commissar of Fatwahs? I was not aware of this but it shows how amazingly Progressive out collective really is.

...the Bayou Bengal Tiger and the Plains-Dwelling Auburn Tiger are mortal enemies in nature...yet here in the peace that is the Party, we can and do collaborate collectively for the common good.Comrades, comrades... Don't you know that the People's Math has recently proven the following:

Next week we shall learn how to prove the above People's Theorems with People's Logic.

Comrades! Comrades! Comrades!

Allow me a moment to correct the errors in your equation, being from that glorious "Red" state that so adored Lenin, they called their university The Crimson Tide and took as their symbol the long memory'ed and powerful Elephant.

Comrade Commissar Pupovich, this is truly the greatest revolution in Progressive education since "new math" was introduced during the 1960s- '70s. If we think the Proletariat Youth are dumb now, wait'll they start learning this. Glorious!

And we now have a Commissar of Fatwahs? I was not aware of this but it shows how amazingly Progressive out collective really is.

Red Star lapel pins and double vodka rations for everyone!

Thank you so much Commissar, it is For the Children™ of course, but don't forget the contributions of Comrade Betinov, though I will take his double rations....

Allow me a moment to correct the errors in your equation, being from that glorious "Red" state that so adored Lenin, they called their university The Crimson Tide and took as their symbol the long memory'ed and powerful Elephant.

Alas, the Tide surely rolled this past weekend,,,,but then they did face that other Louisiana powerhouse - Louisiana University Monroe.... Perhaps they took the no winners or losers doctrine a bit too seriously for Nick Satan's liking. LOL

Not that an LSU fan would ever wish to see ill tidings to an Alabama team. But I know at least one necro voter that may be a bit disturbed....Though perhaps we could connect a generator to him...

Remember Comrades Blokhayev and Betinov,,,,, I know neither of you care which team ends the day "winner" next week..... Oh Lenin, how could I say that with a straight face? I must admit, I am a bit surprised there was no comment on the Bear Bryant Memorial Power plant above from either of you. LOL

Well, If you'd made fun of Shug Jordan I might have to load up the truck with a chainsaw and a 12-gauge and head for the Pelican State, but you're welcome to poke at that other University all you want to. I come from that species of fan whose two favorite teams are Auburn and who ever's playing the Tide....

Though he always seems to come up short in the big one, I think of the great Cholly Mac with good memories as well. Oh, I repent of any team baiting. I know my #1 Tigers will fall one day.... Great Stalin's Ghost! It was not my fault! Damn Bush for making me do the things I do!

Not at all, Premier Betty. Nobody "flunks" in education anymore...you might get an "E" for not passing, but you certainly wouldn't get an F. Besides, nobody can fail at the People's Math.

Comrade I am truly scared of this "E" grading system. What does this e mean if we are all X is E=X? Is it an e for effort? Dare i say is it E for Exceptional? We can have no such Exceptionality in our Utopia (except for the MTE of course and approved party members)

Not only should we mandate equality in numbers, but in letters as well. We should mandate that letters be given equal representation in sentences, a Fairness Doctrine fot the Alphabet if you will. For every letter used you must use all of the other letters in the alphabet in that sentence. For example:

"I am blue cdfghjknopqrstvwxyz" or"Stay where you are, you have been deemed a thought criminal. Prepare to be rounded up. fgjklqxzcfjkpqsvwxzbcfgijklmpqsvwxzbcdfgijklmnqsvwxyzbcfghijklmnqstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz."

As you can see all of the letters are represented in equal numbers, no letter is left out and therefore they don't feel excluded and each letter's self esteem is raised. Gone are the days of Z and Q having their feelings squashed for being under used! No more will people groan when they pick Q while playing scrabble! Yes comrades! No more Alphbetists running loose in our society using mostly R S T L N E!!

....I have seen in your posts prompts me to ask if the phrase "Geaux Tigers" means anything to you. If so, this may have big and wonderous implications for the collective

Oh yes! It certainly means everything to the Commissar! The Commssar is from the Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengal Tigers of LSU! Geaux #1 Tigers! And today, well, I only hope this continues especially since this is Go To Hell Ole Miss day down heah!

Not only should we mandate equality in numbers, but in letters as well. We should mandate that letters be given equal representation in sentences, a Fairness Doctrine fot the Alphabet if you will. For every letter used you must use all of the other letters in the alphabet in that sentence.

Great Slalin's Ghost! What have we ORUYWZWQAFIJVQSXFGULYRPOEQAD?

But wait a minute. Since all letters can be represented by a number, and PeopleMath™ has proven that all numbers are equal, then by extension, all letters can be considered as being present in every sentence! (Dear Lenin, Stalin, and Hillary Almighty! I sure hope everyone buys into that doctrine!)

Zampolit Blokhayev, I do believe that come next Sunday one of us will want to kill the other. Tell you what: Let's make a bet on the Ironbowl, loser has to kiss an Uzbeck.

Better yet...

Loser has to kiss Borat!

--

Oh, how pathetic. You call this being a loser? Let me tell you how gurls do it--slumber party style!

Loser has to kiss Janet Reno. And it can't be some lame, dutiful little peck on the cheek like you give to your grandma. You have to use your tongue. And you have to put it ALL the way in her mouth (Janet's, not Grandma's), past the teeth and hold it for the count of X.

Loser has to kiss Janet Reno. And it can't be some lame, dutiful little peck on the cheek like you give to your grandma. You have to use your tongue. And you have to put it ALL the way in her mouth (Janet's, not Grandma's), past the teeth and hold it for the count of X.

Comrade I am truly scared of this "E" grading system. What does this e mean if we are all X is E=X? Is it an e for effort? Dare i say is it E for Exceptional? We can have no such Exceptionality in our Utopia (except for the MTE of course and approved party members)

E is nothing to be afraid of. It takes no effort whatsoever to make an E, so it isn't "E for effort." Likewise, it doesn't stand for exceptional; as we all know "HRC" stands for exceptional. It used to stand for "Everyman," but that was deemed sexist at the All-Party Conference in 1968 in Chicago. Now E stands for "Ehhh."

Comerades! We must contact CAIR before changing numerals or insisting that they not be used. Numerals are, after all, Arabic, and we do not want to seem xenophobic. All things are equal, but numerals are perhaps even more so.

....I have seen in your posts prompts me to ask if the phrase "Geaux Tigers" means anything to you. If so, this may have big and wonderous implications for the collective

Oh yes! It certainly means everything to the Commissar! The Commssar is from the Home of the Fighting Bayou Bengal Tigers of LSU! Geaux #1 Tigers! And today, well, I only hope this continues especially since this is Go To Hell Ole Miss day down heah!

Wow, Commissar Pup! Can we borrow that in Michigan and have our last game of the season be Go to Hell Ohio State day? We used to be a French outpost too, you know. (Or should I say, ouie iaeux-s tou bi `a fringe aoutposte tu, iauex neaux?)

Comerades! We must contact CAIR before changing numerals or insisting that they not be used. Numerals are, after all, Arabic, and we do not want to seem xenophobic. All things are equal, but numerals are perhaps even more so.I thought the original post was about Roman numerals -

Wow, Commissar Pup! Can we borrow that in Michigan and have our last game of the season be Go to Hell Ohio State day? We used to be a French outpost too, you know. (Or should I say, ouie iaeux-s tou bi `a fringe aoutposte tu, iauex neaux?)

One would think that was already Go to Hell Ohio State day? I certainly have no problem with it as most of us down here feel the same way. Needless to say, I am most sad this week about my Tigers, though not shocked. And if we are to go down, Arkansas is a favorite of mine when not playing us as my father's side is from Arkansas.

Comerades! We must contact CAIR before changing numerals or insisting that they not be used. Numerals are, after all, Arabic, and we do not want to seem xenophobic. All things are equal, but numerals are perhaps even more so.I thought the original post was about Roman numerals -

X=X=XX+X=XX-X=XX*X=XX/X=X

is the same as

10=10=1010+10=1010-10=1010*10=1010/10=10

The original post was using X in the sense as it usually is used, as "unknown." But of course as one of our dedicated comrades pointed out, why should we always discriminate in letters, so of course I could have used H, or Z etc.

I thought X = whatever I want it to be--whatever makes me feel good about myself. That's what they told me in public school. Anything else could shatter my self-esteem and make me want to go out and get a job working for some capitalist slimebag (pardon the redundancy).

Technically, this is the Uncertainty Principle which states that X, (or Y, M,Z.Q etc.) ≈ uncertain as it is unknown what it is not always known what it takes to have you feel good about yourself. But don't forget, sometimes only the Party can tell you what it takes to make you feel good about yourself, sometimes the Party lets you decide, and all the time, the Party is correct.

The Party and the Party only (and the State by proxy) will decide what it takes to make you feel good about yourself. At this point in the game, proles are simply guided towards the uniform template by the media and Hollywood, creating the illusion that the proles are discovering their feel-good points all by themselves.

The current feel-good points, mind you, are those that will lead faster to the destruction of the Kapitalist society. That will all change come the Revolution. A new social order will bring forth a new set of feel-good points centered around sacrifice for the Greater Good of the Party, and those shall be equally mandatory for all (with the exception of the more equal members of the Party Inner Circle).

I thought X = whatever I want it to be--whatever makes me feel good about myself. That's what they told me in public school. Anything else could shatter my self-esteem and make me want to go out and get a job working for some capitalist slimebag (pardon the redundancy).

It can, comrade. And it can mean many things. For example:

25+239=4

See? It does not really matter since all numbers are equal. 4 is every bit the equal of 239 as 5 is the equal of 25. After all, we don't want any particular number to feel inferior to another number.

And just how are we going to label thoughtcriminals? Huh? HUH?And how are we going to number the gulag boxcars? Huh? HUH?

By the "Do We" Decimal system of course.... Bwwwaaahhhaaaa!

Sorry Your Empress, it's one of my favorite old jokes Beria used to use to lighten my day. Let me explain. Do we give them hope first? Do we make them suffer long or short? Do we tell the family... You get the point.

Take it from someone who has "been there, done that" as they say in the decadent west, you are to be the Empress, the shining star over the US. so whatever manner you see fit will be how. It all depends on what your strategy is at the time. Do you want the general public to see and know the number of thought criminals that are being "reformed," or is it in your interest to not let them know? (Reformed! Hah! Oh how I love that word as well. Some are reformed into useful workers, some are "reformed" into concrete and fertilizer.) This answer will not always be the same.

And just how are we going to label thoughtcriminals? Huh? HUH?And how are we going to number the gulag boxcars? Huh? HUH?

That's why I'm the smartest person in the world! I'm the only person who knows how to ask the correct questions!

And a very good question My Empress! A question only the most brilliant woman, nay, the most brilliant person in the world would ask.

The answer is simple actually. You can still use numbers in the People's Math. Perhaps we have confused you with all the X's, and Y's etc. All PeopleMath™ proves is that if the Party said that we processed 25 car loads of Thought Criminals, and the old non-progressive math showed there was only 5, then by Lenin, there were 25 cars and we can prove it mathematically! PeopleMath™ will also show that you won your "election" by the greatest margin of victory of all time.

Lenin forgive me! I just thought of something! Imagine the confusion the backward imperialists will have when it is announced that you pulled more votes than their census says even lives in the US! LOL! Oh, they didn't count our necro-proxy voters in their equations? *Wiping tears of laughter*

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand