I PM'd the mod but haven't heard back. Are the post sizes being limited now? Here is the post. Is it too large?

Quote:

As you know, I am now a Registered Nurse and have a new job on a busy medical surgical unit. I'm having time management issues big time. From what I read 99% of new RN's do. However, when I was a CNA at another hospital on another busy unit I had the same issues- for all 3 years.

This is what I was so worried about with this type of nursing and unit. It's a bad match for me. I know it is. I knew it was. I took the first job offered to me to get the almighty "med-surg" experience so I can so something using my teaching background and nursing in slower paced job. I come early and leave late just to get the basics done. I'm not even being a good nurse many times. Not the kind that I want to be anyway.

On the mental/emotional toll it's taking is rearing it's ugly head: Feeling like everyone knows (and cares) that I'm almost always behind, I don't want too many people from the next shift to see that I'm still there charting so I try to slip out without making eye contact with anyone and feeling great shame and inadequacy. Starting to make excuses as to why I'm still there, feeling jealous at seeing nurses newer than me who are still on orientation, have it more together. I'm feeling down and depressed and anxious- on top of my real dysthymia and anxiety but with this kind of unrealistic steely resolve that I'm going to make this work and I'm going to do well at this which makes it worse in some ways as I and others know that I'm really trying which devastates me and confuses them.

This is a viscous cycle that I've been through many times before. I get like this in that I dwell, think, plan to make it work, change meds or dosages but it's the same thing, I finally get to the place where I say "uncle" and I'm still left unstable and unsettled.

It's hard dealing with the same negative things about yourself over and over again.

Thanks!!!!

__________________
ADHD-Inattentive, Adjustment Disorder w/Mixed Features of Anxiety and Depression, Dyscalculia (Math disability), Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
Strattera 100 mg, Wellbutrin 450 mg XL, Klonopin 0.5 mg as needed. Brene Brown
Shame derives it's power from being unspeakable.
Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.
Shame cannot survive being spoken. It can't survive empathy.

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