I think you might just need to send two separate gifts, not really sure.

When you send a steam gift, though, it DOES tell you if the person you're trying to send to already own the game. Not sure if it lets you send anyway. Probably you could go the email route if necessary, (rather than sending directly to a steam account).

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Steam doesn't actually charge until the game is released right?

I actually think it charges right away from when I've preordered in the past. I could be wrong, though.