Help Help Help - I've aged so much!

God I need help. not yet 40, just lost a bit of weight and whilst happy about that I've aged so much! I look at least 45. It just doesn't seem like me when I look in the mirror and see all the wrinkles, droopy eyes, eyebags etc staring back at me!

How to just accept growing my rapidly declining looks without feeling so bloody down about it!

I'm new to this board and anti ageing, I know I should have started years ago. I have sensitive skin and have just stuck with the same cheap moisturisers I know I can tolerate for years. Also makeup - I need new makeup no doubt, where can I learn about that?

Apparently your hair can make a big difference. I would make an appointment at somewhere good and put yourself their hands. It sounds like your colour could go richer with a mixture of tones, basically blonde, but with some lowlights. Also maybe the style needs softening, or a couple of inches off the length. The other big thing is eyebrows. I think they need to be defined to frame the eyes, but not strident! The best pencil I've found for blondes is the hazel one by Rimmel. I am way older than you but wouldn't go down the Botox route. I lived in America! Enough said?

I would move a new hair-do to the top of your list. The right cut can take years off you.

Do you know what colours suit you? That makes a huge difference too. I know some people insist they can wear black but I think it's ageing on everyone. Pay for advice if you're not sure.

And personally I think Botox is a waste of money. People obsess about wrinkles but they aren't the only - or even the worst - sign of ageing. If I had a choice between jowls or wrinkles, I would take the wrinkles any day.

So that's new hair for a start. I would have a make up counter makeover somewhere like Mac. Colours! Do a bit of internet research or get them done. That knowledge is for life! Wearing the right colours make a huge difference, and it's economical because you don't end up buying stuff that doesn't suit you.flo56 I completely agree with you re the Botox. I'd spend the money on hair, cosmetics, clothes.

I would consider the hot cloth cleansing method - basically any cleanser you like put on to a dry face, massaged in then washed off using a flannel or muslin soaked in hot water. The flannel is exfoliating so you may find that doing this morning and night quite quickly has an effect and you don't need to do much extra exfoliating.

Follow with a serum and a good moisturiser. Sunscreen is a must for day time (at least SPF15, more in summer), but your night time moisturiser shouldn't include SPF.

At night if you have been wearing make up and sunscreen you need to double cleanse (basically do it twice) to get rid of the products before serum/moisturiser.

I have recently added in the Clarins exfoliating toner followed by a hydrating toner (after cleanse, before serum) and this has already made my skin even smoother. Definitely worth considering this product.

I started this routine about 5 months ago and my skin is vibrant and smoother, no longer tired or as wrinkly/dehydrated and I get lots of compliments on it for the first time in years (I'm 37). Caroline Hirons, linked to by Vibbe, is the guru on this. You should check out her cheat sheet on routines. She is quite a fan of high end products but there are loads of good high street products (I use mainly Superdrug own brand, Boots Botanics and Body Shop stuff) - the routine is the important thing.

Thank you so much for all the great advice! Totally agree on the hair though that will have to wait a few weeks having just shelled out £80 on it last week don't think OH would be best pleased if I went back the following week for restyle. Can probably get away with it in a month when the roots are showing!

Okay well I'm not near a big town so have just popped into the local boots today and got a few things to try.

Collection 2000 illuminator pen (seen recommended on here I think) - has made a difference to the shadows

New lipgloss

Nivea Q10 eye cream and night cream

Lighter shade of eyebrow pencil (Hazel Rimmel!)

I'm still not sure what to do about eyeliner and lashes - my lashes are very short and I usually wear falsies when I go out but I definitely need to stop that now as I'm starting to look like a drag queen. (Feel like I've gone from glam to Bett Lynch.) I usually wear black or brown eyeliner on my lower lids, haven't today for a change and feel a bit naked, what's the consensus on eyeliner?

I will have a look at all the online makeup links etc, I need to completely re-educate myself. Will have to start practicing makeup again of an evening, like a teenager

Thank you for the advice on skincare, I will start new routine tonight!

Eyeliner on lower lids, or worse in a circle all round you eye, is very ageing. It will take a little while to get used to it, but try and ditch it. A neat upper line is much more chic as you get older. Also, a gentler mascara, not the thick clumps teens get away with!

Yes, avoid black for daytime. Especially under the eye. Unless you are dark skinned, in which case ignore me. Brown is likely to be more flattering.

Try a soft pencil with a slim line just on your top lid. Tiny flick up at the end, but nothing dramatic. Or if you buy one of those nice eyeliner brushes it is actually easy to do with a dark eyeshadow. Dry brush gives a softer day look. Damp brush a defined line for evenings.

All round the eye and on the inner lid closes down your eyes and makes them look smaller. Also, as you get older, has an unfortunate tendancy towards making you look like a tough-no-nonsense East Enders character. Some lucky souls can pull it off, but tis rare.

I'd go for a brown mascara instead of the black one. I'm blonde and fair skinned, and black is too much for me for a day look.

The push liner is not as harsh looking as eyeliner and it really looks nice: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IunkBu5L7z0This is a video from Wayne Goss - he's a good makeup artist and I think he specialises in makeup for mature women.I usually use Mac Mystery eyeshadow for this. And I use a brush from Mac as well.If I want colour under the eye, I use the same colour lightly in the lower lashline. Not too much as it can make my eyes look really droopy and it tends to give some unfortunate shadow under the eye making me look old and tired.

Curling my lashes makes them look much longer and it opens up the eye which I find gives a more youthful look.

I tried a free sample of AHA gel this evening - Revive from Space NK, But I'm sure more cost effective brands are available - and my face looks smooth and glowing. Or glowing for 40+ anyway. Even with the dimmed lighting. Worth a try? Sorry if it's already been mentioned.