Case Number 16787

THE UNBORN

The Charge

Evil will do anything to live. Unfortunately, that includes making crappy
movies.

Opening Statement

We cut horror movies a little slack. We overlook plots that don't quite make
sense, characters that do the occasional stupid thing...all we ask in return is
a few good scares, a feeling of visceral terror, maybe some blood and violence.
But please, don't treat us as though we are as stupid as those teenagers who,
knowing that a killer is on the loose, say "I'll be right back" and
march off to their doom. Which brings us to The Unborn. Writer/director
David S. Goyer (The Dark Knight) loads a derivative possession film with
little more than cheap shocks and slick production values. Universal brings us
an unrated version of The Unborn, but we shan't be thanking them.

Facts of the Case

Casey Beldon (Odette Yustman, Cloverfield) has already dealt with a
lot; when she was little, her mother went insane and killed herself. Now, weird
things start happening to Casey. She keeps seeing this Grudged-out little
boy in unexpected places -- in a park, in a bar, and stuffed into her medicine
cabinet. While Casey babysits for a neighbor, the four year-old ominously tells
her "Jumby is ready to be born now," right before smacking her upside
the head. Her friends are skeptical, until one of Casey's eyes starts to change
color. A doctor runs some tests, mentioning that the condition is sometimes
associated with twins. Casey, an only child, gets her father to confess -- she
had a twin brother who died in the womb, when Casey's umbilical cord got wrapped
around his neck. "Jumby" is the nickname they had picked for the boy.
Casey is convinced the ghost of her dead brother is seeking vengeance
("Jumby"? Hell, I'd be pissed, too).

Casey returns to the hospital where her mother died to look for clues, and
encounters Sophia (Jane Alexander, The Great White Hope), an old woman
who somehow knows a lot about Casey's family. She tells Casey the spirit is not
her brother, but a dybbuk, a malicious spirit seeking to be reborn; the
same spirit that drove Casey's mother insane. Sophia sends Casey to Rabbi Sendak
(Gary Oldman, Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix), who can perform
an exorcism to banish the dybbuk.

The Evidence

There's just not a lot to commend The Unborn. The cheap Boo!
moments are so plentiful they lose any effectiveness they might have had were
they not telegraphed a mile away. The movie really falls apart, when we finally
get the lowdown on the possessing spirit. Goyer makes things way more
complicated than necessary, so we get flashbacks tracing the dybbuk back
to the root of all evil: Nazis (swear to God). From there on, with every new
plot point and added detail, the movie becomes more and more implausible. Keep a
pillow handy at the very end. Once the final scene plays out, you'll be pounding
your head against the wall, and you'll want to minimize brain and wall
damage.

Of all the idiots in the movie, the biggest might be the dybbuk.
Initially, the Rabbi is more than just a little skeptical of Casey's claims, and
it's obvious that he's humoring her. So the spirit goes and tries to intimidate
the Rabbi with a computer-generated show of supernatural force, thus proving its
existence to the guy who can banish it. For all the backstory on the
dybbuk, we are never really told what its powers and limitations are.
This enables Goyer to grant the thing whatever powers are necessary to allow for
the greatest carnage.

Pacing is a major problem. The weird stuff starts happening to Casey in the
opening scene. At first, it seems to work, but all it really does is let Goyer
cram in more weirdness, while ignoring niceties such as character development.
Stock pretty lead, stock best friend, stock boyfriend, and so on. The first half
of the movie manages to limp along, but the closer we get to the end, the more
incoherent it becomes.

The Unrated version has a whopping one minute of extra footage, supposedly
"too shocking for theaters." Whatever. There's really nothing in the
Unrated cut that warrants an "R." The extra footage is not identified,
but I've narrowed the possibilities to three shots, one of which is a shameless
ripoff from The Exorcist. The PG-13 version is also included, but
comparing the two versions is as appealing as shoving my arm down a garbage
disposal.

Acting is almost (but not quite) adequate. A movie with as deliberate a pace
as this requires the leading lady make a slow but steady progression from
moderately well adjusted to batsh*t paranoia. Yustman has to carry the entire
film and she just isn't up to the task. Jane Alexander does a fine job with a
stock character, but I'm at a loss to explain Gary Oldman's presence.
Presumably, he lost a lot of money to Goyer in poker games while filming The
Dark Knight. It was either make this movie or have sex with barnyard
animals. Looking back, Oldman probably wishes he had chosen differently. The
rabbi's part is so criminally underwritten they could have used anyone.

Video is great. There are a lot of dark interiors and the textures are clear
and sharp, supporting the gothic vibe. Audio is clear enough, but the 5.1 mix
doesn't really do much with the back channels. The only extra is a handful of
deleted scenes, none of which add anything to the proceedings.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The movie is practically dripping with gothic atmosphere and boasts good
cinematography, though some shots are shamelessly cribbed from Christopher
Nolan's Batman movies.

Closing Statement

If they had kept things simple, everything might have worked out. Seriously,
think about the emotional ramifications of being forced to exorcise the spirit
of your twin -- that could be magnificent drama. Or posit the dybbuk has
already been reborn in Casey and killed the brother in utero to keep the secret.
Now, Jumby is seeking to rescue Casey from beyond the grave. I don't know how
either would play out, but at least they'd be different. Instead, we get loads
and loads of tired clichés and Nazis.

The Verdict

Guilty. The conclusion leaves the door open for a sequel. If you buy this
disc and they make a sequel as a result, I. Will. Find. You.