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I was a single working mother for 6 years. I did it all. I commuted, worked 40+ hours, was a single mom, and for a portion of that time attended school. I resented the hell out of stay at home mom’s during this time. I can admit it. I was so jealous of anyone who could bypass the time constraints put on working folk. Maybe more jealous than resentful but maybe a mix of both. I felt so helpless and worn out most of the time I just assumed that a married mom staying at home has it easier.

That is true.

It is easier. But it isn’t easy. That part I wasn’t prepared for. It is funny how the grass is greener effect takes hold when you feel that anything but what you are doing must be easier.

But I have come to realize, I bust my ass. It may not be in the way that some see as difficult, but to me it is challenging.

This was my schedule yesterday.

5:20am – Wake up and make breakfast for my husband and make sure he has what he needs for a grueling 12 hour day in a factory. Feed and water both cats so they stop screaming the song of their people at me.6:00am – Wake up my 9 year old and get him breakfast, make sure his backpack is good, etc.6:45am – Walk him to the bus stop. Get completely eaten by mosquitoes.7:00am – Wake up my 12 year old. Repeat above process but with added bonus eye rolls.7:30am – Make grocery list, coupon, coupon, coupon COUPON7:40am – Start laundry7:50am – Clean kitchen start dishwasher8:00am – Leave to go grocery shopping. (Which is glorious to do alone btw)9:45am – Come home and put up trunk full of groceries. Drop at least one bunch of bananas, crush the bread, and dent 2.5 cans.10:00am – Clean out refrigerator. Try not to hurl.10:30am – Start another load of laundry. WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM?!?!?11:00am – Put up first load of laundry.11:05am – Make note to threaten all video games if the boys don’t stop using 45 towels a week.11:15am – Make the bed, pick up clothes, straighten bathroom. Spend 15 minutes looking for toothpaste cap. Which I found in the medicine cabinet on top of the Visine???11:30am – Have I eaten yet?!?!? Fiber One bar and slice of imitation cheese to the rescue. Awesome has a diet. This is it.12:00pm – Put up 2nd load of laundry12:15pm – Start 3rd load of laundry. Remind self to threaten boys with ALL.THE.THINGS about towel use. What are they doing with them all????1:00pm – Put up dishes and clean the kitchen.1:20pm – Dusted entire house. Which means push cat hair from one area to another. I call it “reorganizing”1:30pm – Made the bed.1:45pm – Played with my cat.2:00pm – Yogurt break while making sweet tea.2:45pm – 9 year old walks in time for an hour of homework help, checking, organizing, signing papers, reviewing 12 leaflets brought home. Hear a 25 minute diatribe about how the kid in front of him in lunch had something I didn’t get at the grocery store but would be great if I kept it in mind for my next trip (which is inevitably in 2 days)3:00pm – Start dinner.4:00pm – 12 year old walks in from school, repeat 60 minutes of homework, organizing, checking, following up. Try not to curse the creator of Common Core to hellfire and damnation.4:20pm – Desperately try and cool dinner to put in the fridge to eat after football practice.5:00pm – Leave for 9 year old football practice. Spend 3 hours sweating and being invaded by bugs trying not to yell when he feigns injury to take a water break (22 times).8:00pm – Break out dinner and try to arrange it so it doesn’t taste like reheated crap.8:15pm – “Can I have seconds?” “Can I have more biscuits?” “Are we out of honey??” “Can I have dessert??”8:17pm – Pull back my hair as not to pull it out and traumatize impressionable children.8:30pm – Put 9 year old to bed after reading and prayers.8:32pm – Ask12 year old to clean the kitchen before I set it on fire just to not look at another dirty dish.8:37pm – TELL 12 year old to get on cleaning the kitchen8:45pm – BEG 12 year old to just FINISH already. (Try not to think that had I done it myself it would be done.)8:46pm – Hear from my 12 year old how EVERYONE has a girlfriend in school and he has decided it is TIME for him to get one too. Spend 25 minutes explaining that it will come in good time. And he doesn’t want to push something that isn’t going to happen on its own. (And not be the kid who makes up a girlfriend like his friend down the road. No one wants to be “That guy.”)9:00pm – Start meal preparation for husbands meals he takes to work. (Separate as he is on a no carb thing)9:15pm – Get 12 year old to bed, remind him for the 8,544th time that there are no video games during the week and please stop asking.9:30pm – WINE9:40pm – Catch up with my Husband.9:41pm – Try not to bitch about my day because he works 12 hours a day doing manual labor in a factory. My argument is invalid.
—-That being said, he listens when I can’t help it and tells me it sounded like a crap day and he totally understands. He is the junk. If I haven’t mentioned it already.10:45pm – Shower11:0zzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Not every day is like this. But on average 4 out of 7 are like this. The other days are more like this…

And while this will sound strange, I never ever get a day off. Never. Literally not one 24 hour period where I wasn’t tending to someone since my hip surgery in April. That being said, I think it is a good trade. Trying to work and do all of this I might get a day here and there, but it is totally worth it. 🙂

This journey of staying at home has been very enlightening for me. I take what I do seriously. Whether it is a multi million dollar account at work, college, or just taking care of my family. I work and I work hard.

And come to find out, hard work is hard work. No matter where you are doing it.

This week marks the one year anniversary of me leaving my job/career to stay at home. I can’t believe it has been a year. I thought time flew by fast before because the nature of my job is time structured. First of the month there were certain tasks as were the 15th then month end.

Nope.

Time just goes by really fast regardless.

I needed this time away from my job. For several reasons. I never really took a vacation. Maybe two in 15 years. I craved knowing what not working felt like. I never had that feeling in my adult life.

Ever.

I needed to know that I like to work. When you have always worked and are expected to work you start to wonder if it is even something you want to do. Whether it is working or the career you have chose.

Believe it or not. I do like to work. I have a renewed sense of purpose and look forward to getting back to school to finish my degree.

(Note. I do not look forward to GOING to school. I hate school. But it has to be done.)

Things I miss:

Interaction with adults. Adult conversation. Inappropriate humor.

Mocha Lattes

Feeling accomplished

Comradeship

Feeling I contribute financially <—- This is a big one. More so than I thought it would be.

Things I don’t miss:

Commuting

Office politics. (What did that bitch say to my boss??? Oh hell no….)

Work stress

Missing out on time with my kids/class visits/holiday parties/award ceremonies/ etc.

There have been highs and lows to this major change in my life. But more highs than lows. I always wondered if I would be the kind of person to want to stay at home. I am not. I will enjoy it now, but am eager to get back to it.

Which hopefully will be by the end of Summer. While I loathe the thought of taking classes again I know it is just a step towards building my career and having professional satisfaction.

That being said, how employers will view my employment gap is the scariest part of all of this.

A recap. I have worked my entire life. Literally. Family business = no child labor laws. I was working a cash register on a step stool at 9. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t factory work, but I have just always worked.

Now I don’t.

And it is weird.

Seriously, I just put on my bra. 10:35am.

I want to do all the things with the kids. But I have found this is unrealistic. I had 1,224,736 things planned for this summer.

We have done two.

But that being said, we have been quite busy.

I just helped throw a baby shower and I actually made this.

I couldn’t find the letters at the craft store, so I printed out the template, cut it out, and then cut out the letters.

I told her next time she has a kid, It will be named, “Joe.”

I also made 10lbs of those meatballs in grape jelly and bbq sauce, SO GOOD. I even did fondue.

This week, I really hope to be able to start the summer. Not this running around thing that we seem to do every day. As in preparing to run, running, laying down after running.

Since I never know what day of the week it is anymore, I am going to hope that the Summer I envisioned starts around July 4th.

I may need to set my phone to remind me. And to remind me to put on my bra.

I must preface this with the following:
The hubs works shift work. Three rotating shifts 7am-3pm, 3pm-11pm, 11pm-7am. Seven days on, one day off, seven days on, one day off, seven days on, four days off. Almost always at LEAST 6-12 hours overtime in a week.

This was a large factor in us making the decision for me to quit work. He is unable to do anything really, due to his schedule. And I was doing 85% while working and commuting (8 hours) a week was just too much for me and blah blah blah…

Mids. The 3-11pm shift.

This is by far the worst shift. When I was working, I was basically a working single mom. He was gone by the time we got home and we were asleep by the time he got off work. For seven days straight. I had to do everything. Every little thing. And work.

Now, I just do every thing 19 hours out of each day, and don’t work. It really isn’t a big deal until the END of mids. Tomorrow is day seven and we are ALL feeling it.

I literally can’t explain why this day has been so hard without writing a dissertation, but it has been down right mind meltingly hard.

Woke up at 7am to take the 11 year old to Basketball camp.

Came home, to go back out to get him an hour later.

In that hour, I made tea, cleaned the kitchen from Breakfast and got our bag ready for the pool, which included towels, drinks, snacks, suits, and other accoutrements.

Picked him up, and headed to a friends to try and plan a baby shower.

Had to travel another hour with her to get her kids.

Finally got to the pool, was about to rain.

(Hello Tropical Storm Andrea)

Got back to her house for more baby pre-gaming, kids are officially getting on my last damned nerves.

Go home try and take a nap, children revolt. Losing my ever loving patience.

Eddie kitty has been missing for 2 days while it has stormed almost all of those 2 days. Keep calling him, sounding like a moron to my neighbors.

My other kitty Ginger is acting all weird, landed oddly and hurt her little paw/shoulder, she is limping.

Try and make dinner, salvage the evening.

Start laundry

Make bed

Finish dinner

Eight year old is flossing his teeth with a thin rimmed cup, drops crystal light all over the floor when I get understandably upset over said flossing with our cheap plastic kids cups.

Hear Eddie kitty stuck in neighbors fence.

Try and coerce said kitty while becoming a nice meal for the 1,412,223 mosquitoes that are out due to standing water over the monsoon that just came through.

Knock on neighbors door, while still getting eaten, they say they will “Check”

Wait

Wait

Bitten

Wait

Wait

Bitten

Hear my 11 year old say, “HELLLOO EDDIE!!!!!!” the cat came back on its own.

Whatever.

Fold laundry, turn over laundry, start NEW load of laundry, because the 11 year old informs me he needs his baseball uniform by tomorrow at 8am.

Find out a tropical storm is coming right SMACK in the midst of the 11 year old year end game, and my 4 hour trip to pick up our 16 year old stepson.

Eddie sees Ginger and does that weird sideways cat walk where he tries to look twice his size, he seems TO HAVE HURT himself in the process, is under the couch.

Never seen that close up, that was friggin weird.

I almost just drank out of the hubs dip cup. Literally that JUST almost happened.

WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Domestic Bliss my ass. While all of this may not sound so bad, this has been my last 14 days. Literally. I run, I drive, I cook, I clean, I chase cats, I try and determine if swallowing a nickle is ER worthy, I try and squelch smart-assery, dumb-assery, and any other asseries that may occur.

All the while telling the kids 5 hours out of the day SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Daddy is sleeping. Shhhhhhhhhhh Shhhhhhhhhhhh SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I know I can’t complain. I know that I am extraordinarily lucky to be able to not be working right now, so I can do all of this. But between Busting my ass the last 7 days of work and jumping right into this…

Mama needs a vacation. Or something.

I apologize to any stay at home mom’s I ever judged unfairly.

This shit is hard.

Picture of poor Edward. I think he got into some serious cat on cat battle action during his two day vacation 😦 He was already so timid….

As I begin my second to last day at work, I am feeling excited and more excited. Yes, I still have nervous butterflies I can’t get everything done, but as this part of my life comes to an end I am left with nothing but real anticipation.

I know what you are thinking, big friggin deal? You start a new job and life goes on. Blah, Blah Blah.

Nope. I am not starting a new job. I have no job waiting. I am quitting work, and for the summer spending the time with my two boys and being a housewife. Then I am going to maybe have hip surgery (again), then I am going back to school. All the while blogging and writing like a frantic monkey on meth. Have.never.had.this.much.time.to.write.

This is big because if you knew me, you would know I have NEVER NOT worked. Ever. I began work at age 12. Working for my Grandfather behind the counter of his store. Then at 16 I interned at an office locally and waited tables. At 17, the damned Monday after graduation, I started my first 9-5. Then from there it was basically a new job every 3-6 years. Each one moving up the ladder. Leading me to Accounting then Finance.

Then 2008 happened. I took a major hit going from a Manager at a very nice salary, to a peon with a crappy hourly salary with a two hour commute. I have done this now for three years.

After the hubs and I crunched the numbers it just didn’t make sense to send the boys to day camp (PRICEY Motherfucker Day camps are) while I spend tons in gas and wear and tear to Prince Valium to make jack shit.

So we decided I would quit.

HOLY HELL.

This is why I restarted this blog a week or two back.

I am going to be documenting going from a 9-5 day job for 19 years. to being a Stay at Home Mom.

Heyyyyyyyyy, wait. Don’t be that way. This won’t be a mommy blog. I mean those are great and all, and I have learned many crafts and recipes, but this is going to document the journey.