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In a vaguely postapocalyptic world filled with big-box stores and fast-food franchises, where Tide detergent has supplanted cash as a base unit of the drug trade, is it that much of a stretch to think that an increasing number of people are exchanging sex for Fish McBites and Big Macs? Answer: Maybe not for McBites, but consider the case of 58-year-old New Mexico resident Donald Jones, who was arrested last week after police watched him order food at a McDonald's drive-through and then drive to a nearby park with a woman he'd just picked up. The unidentified woman, who was allegedly putting her pants back on when the police moved in, said that she "agreed to have sex with Jones in exchange for the McDonald's," according to area station KOB. This isn't the first time this has happened in recent memory.

In January of 2012, a Los Angeles woman was arrested on suspicion of prostitution after reportedly opening of number of customers' doors in the parking lot of a Burbank McDonald's and offering sexual favors for McNuggets. And last April, a 47-year-old Florida woman was arrested after she informed an undercover detective she'd have sex with him in exchange for two double cheeseburgers selected from the dollar menu, or $2.75 worth of food.

Obviously, McDoubles and nuggets and other preservative-friendly fast-food items derive some value from their paradoxically and unnaturally long shelf lives, but they don't have the capital power of Tide detergent. Let's hope this isn't a trend, because it just seems very, very unhealthy.