Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

His Side, Her Side, The Truth:

I am a mega contributor on the boards but, I can count on one hand the times I have started a thread. It frightens me for some reason. So, bear with me on this journey of utter shock.

In my profession, we always dig for facts. Each side and then the truth surfaces and with that premise, I will tell you a very short tale:

I came here to DS post divorce. A good friend of mine told me of this treasure. As I trekked, I was able to expel my pain and as I started to open up, I started purging old hurtsdeep rooted damage. I learned that triggers are a golden opportunity to face that fear/evil/ugliness that may not have been necessarily stemming from relationships gone badly, but from some traumatic events in my life. I am very flawed but, I genuinely care for people. Call me naive, but I really believe that fundamentally, there is goodness in all people.this is why I kept a very kind relationship with my ex.no matter how or what transpired in the demise of our marriage. He cheated and yet he justifies it. Short and simple.

Back to the subject at hand:

His side: I did not communicate well. I avoided conflict. He felt alone and needed someone to listen to him. He searched the internet for connections, watched porn and cheated then, wanted the divorce. He was not satisfied with my looks and used intimacy as the only thing that he thought he could control. Valid reasons for him. Simple

My side: The reason I didnt communicate is because I hate confrontation, being yelled at and being cornered to the point I peed a little in my pants from terror. I regressed and he took away intimacy but still held me and kissed me and told me he loved me everyday even after our divorce. Valid reasons for me. Simple.

The twisted: This woman comes here to DS. Uses the fact that we have something in commonautistic children and befriends me. I trust because children are my achilles. For months she feeds him her interpretation of the truth as she reads my pain page by page which is not all about him. She tells him that Im not over him and that I need serious help (per him). She doesnt know that I have told him to come and read it all months ago because I have nothing to hide.

The truth: He used intimacy as his power over her. I will not reveal details. He started searching for others on the internet. He cheated on her and dumped her. See the pattern? See the truth at its finest? He did this to the wife before me. The truth has set me free. But the betrayal will linger and, it is up to them both to ask their higher power for forgiveness. I took the higher roadbut I am sickened that she held my child in her arms when he went to see her.

I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO KNOCK ME DOWN!

I have NO WORDS to express the love, kindness, affection and protection that I have received from my friends here on DSI received my daily strength 10 fold during this shocking event.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Dont get discouraged but be very carefulkeep in mind, the truth will always prevail. TADA!

Awww, I'm so proud of you, sweetie. I know you are not a thread starter, so this is big for you!!

I know I wrote ugly hugs in her hugbook, and I take responsibility for that. The idea that someone else has hurt you just made me more and more angry. You did nothing to bring this to yourself. And you are so loving and giving, that to have someone hurt you just made me so mad.

My sweet darling Z. The truth does prevail, and so does a kind loving heart. You get what you give. I've learned this lesson personally in the last few weeks. Things from years ago, have come back to bless me.

It was a betrayal pure and simple.

You are free of the sickness of your ex, and for that we must thank God.

My dad came over today and we spent the longest time discussing my legal trials and tribulations. It's been over a year since, with my Mothers illness, and all that's gone on with me, we've had the chance.

We hashed over all the legal crap, the loss of the house, we went at it from every angle. Him being an attorney, it was a challenge for me. His take was that my ex is of low intelligence and most likely with mental issues that render him unable to make a rational argument in court.

I called bullshit. My dad was arguing he isn't malicious he's just stupid. A little refreshing of my Fathers memory, won the argument. What we fianlly agreed upon is that my ex is a sociopath, narcissistic fuck head who believes that his well being is the only one that matters.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I believe you are dealing with the same phenomenon here. I urge you, beg you, demand that you get what he owes you, and stop feeling sorry for him. It took me 3 years, now I'm going to get you there too. Jonny deserves what his father owes him. Love MMF.

((((Z)))) I don't post much either, i am more of a lurker, but you have been here since I first came here for support. You have never NOT offered your advice or your tough love whichever you thought was needed. I am sorry that they would do something like this to you. Stay strong! ((((((((((((((((((((((Z)))))))))))))))))))

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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