Stinking Thinking in Recovery

Critical thinking
is valued in our society. Most of us go for a decent education to learn how to
think critically. However, as it may be a blessing for those striving for a
profitable future, the act of thinking critically itself is flawed and harmful
especially when it is turned inwards. The result is cognitive distortions or impaired thinking
called “stinking thinking.” It is no exaggeration to say that addicts are some
of the smartest people on the planet. Active addiction involved immense
cognitive energy to keep the lies, manipulation, and addiction alive and well.
Hence, it is not surprising that in recovery, we have a panoply of distorted
thoughts based on the very skill we were meant to prize when young – our
ability to rationalize and think.

“Stinking
thinking” is a colloquial term for cognitive distortions. They are a set of
negative thoughts and beliefs about a particular situation, which in the long
run makes life unmanageable without some kind of panacea. This phenomenon
consists of our inner dialogue, which criticizes and analyzes every minute
detail of our lives providing constant if not incessant negative feedback,
which then produces a slurry of negative emotions and energy. It usually occurs
in early recovery but can be a lifelong problem if not intervened, challenged,
and treated. Ultimately, it has the power to lure the unsuspecting addict into
relapse. As they say in AA, “We stink
think ourselves into another drink!”

Modes of Stinking Thinking
– The methods we use to “stink think”.

The ways we “stink
think” are as varied from each individual to another. Nevertheless, we could
categorize these patterns into a number of common modes of “stinking thinking”,
which are recognizable across the board. What all these types of thinking have
in common is that they are “absolute” statements with no wriggle room; and that
they are forcefully presented when they materialize in our thoughts – so much
so that we mistake them as reality. They are as follows:

i) Global Thinking/Overgeneralization – This
is assuming that one point applies to everything. For example, you get dumped
by someone and refuse to pursue any romantic relationships in the future for
you presume that all relationships will end in tears and fighting. Usually it
can be spotted when we use this phrase: This always/never happens to me.

ii) Minimization – When one takes a big thing and makes a
small deal out it, he/she has minimized the significance or importance of a
particular issue. For example, having an argument where one has hurt a loved
one can easily be swept aside by stating that she is only my mother; and therefore deserving of the cruel
treatment earlier.

iii) Maximization/Magnification – This happens when we turn small issues into
big ones. For example, when missing one workout session or having a “cheat
meal” spells the end of recovery. Or thinking that by being slightly
over-weight means that one is not a good person.

iv) Emotional Reasoning – We believe that because we feel a
particular way therefore it must be real. For example, if we feel nervous about
flying, it’s best to avoid it because the feeling omens an air disaster.

v) Mental Filtering – We filter out any positive regard about
our actions and focus solely on the negative. For example, when given feedback,
we may have a slurry of compliments, but that one negative feedback is focused
on exclusively and obsessed over time without number.

vi) Black & White / All or Nothing – We either see things in two extreme poles
of opposites. For example, “you are either with us or against us.” It does not
consider the multiple perspectives to a particular issue.

vii) Jumping to conclusions – We jump to conclusions / assume in two
ways:

a) Mind Reading – This is when we read into situations
without any conclusive evidence about our thoughts. For example, not bothering
to ask someone out for a drink because we’ve concluded what his/her response is
going to be. We will find that contrary action to this behavior may surprise us
with wonders beyond our expectations of others.

b) Fortune Telling – This is when given a set of circumstances,
we can predict its outcomes. For instance, deciding not to go home for the
holidays for fear of arguments and conflict notwithstanding current situations
at home.

viii) Shouldisms/Musterbation – These are thoughts that tell us what we
ought to have done. It is obsessional regret over certain situations in life.
For example, I should’ve
swept the floor last night or I must finish
this work before 4 p.m. today. It
conditions joy and therefore is not useful for accepting life on its own terms
or as it really stands.

ix) Labeling – We tend to label ourselves with unhelpful words when
we feel bad about something. For example, I’m a jerk for believing in him or I’m a loser because I couldn’t even muster the courage to ask her
out for a drink. Here, it’s important to be real with who we really are as
human beings.

x) Personalization – This is taking full responsibility for
things that are out of one’s control. For instance, it was my fault that I
could not get the job done as a relative passed away. The passing of a relative
is out of one’s control and therefore, there is not need to take responsibility
for its occurrence.

Why should I know all of this?

1) It allows us to be mindful when it happens.

It is important to
learn about “stinking thinking” because we can then catch it when it recurs.
Being mindful allows us to formulate alternative behaviors as a means to combat
these cognitive distortions.

2) It encourages us to become our own
therapist.

We can dispute
these thoughts and beliefs in our daily living. One way for doing that is by
practicing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) on ourselves when we are in a
cycle of despair and emotional pain. We need to be more curious as to why it is
happening and how we can change those thoughts so that our feelings and
behavior change towards the positive rather than the negative.

3) Relapse prevention

Continuous
negative dialogue is not healthy for recovery. If not intervened, it will
accumulate to a point that relapse becomes the only option out of the pain.
Hence, learning to deal with these cognitive disturbances is essential to
maintaining one’s sobriety and preventing relapse from recurring.

4) It enhances self compassion

What needs to be
duly noted is that by being aware of our own negative self-talk, we can take a
compassionate stand away from the suffering it creates. We can accept the fact
that cognitive distortions are a universal phenomenon and that it is a natural
part of the recovering self. Having acceptance in these areas and kindness in
turn for these difficult emotions, will ease recovery far greater than if one
is ignorant about these things.

The Solace Difference:

At Solace Sabah,
we introduce you to you. Through CBT, interpersonal group therapy, and
community living; you or your loved one will be immersed in a supportive
environment where issues around cognitive distortions will be presented and
processed. You or your loved one will know what tools can be used and applied
in the world beyond this rehabilitation facility. It is not about going back
the same person that went in; but, about a personal transformation, which can
only happen when we decide to change the way we think – from critical to
helpful. In other words, to live for life!