25 February, 2014

That’s right I am exercising. What’s brought this on? Well,
the truth is…I have started to feel old, and not in the “get off my lawn you
meddling kids” sort of way. More in the “why the FUCK am I winded coming up
from doing laundry”? My mom had a massive heart attack in her early 50’s. She
in fact died and they brought her back. The ONLY reason she is alive today is
because my dad is so in tuned to her that he dragged her to the hospital even
though she didn't think she needed to go.
Boy Toy…isn't that in tune to me…just sayin. I am turning 46 (47?) this
year which means I am not getting any younger, nor am I getting into shape by
eating ice cream sandwiches. I have finally accepted that I do not want Spotty
Chop to have to live without me. Well, I know I don’t want him to be without me
and only with Boy Toy, and I know shit happens, but I will be damned if I don’t
do everything in my power to stay alive and well. So I pulled out the Jane
Fonda DVD (that I got over the internet sometime last year when I had a brief
thought about exercising). Is it goofy? Oh hell to the yes, but this has always
been my “gateway drug” to exercise. Any
time I have been serious about losing weight/getting healthy it always starts
with this workout. What I found hysterical (aside from not being able to keep
up to the workout routine “4 reps of 8 MF? How bout I try 1 ½ “)

is that I have always
used a cassette tape to do the workout, used it through college, when we lived
behind the crack house. A few years ago (again when I had a glimmer of
getting healthy) I realized I couldn't find it. Now I know damn well I wouldn't throw it out, but if it isn't with the other cassettes where the hell is it? Anyhoo
after a year or two I found some guy selling the DVD online and I tossed it in
last night. Wow – some of the exercises
are not at all what I thought they were.
Who knew?

Another contributing factor to my newly found commitment to
health is that I had the plague last week. I don’t remember the last time I was
as sick as I was. I never really understood how people die from the flu. OK really old and really young, sure. But your non sickly people? I realized last week that while I am not
sickly, I am sure as hell not healthy.
If I have to die of something it sure as hell better not be a Fing cold.