Because I have developed tremendous respect and admiration for my friends here at DC and because current economic conditions have created such widespread angst, I have decided to step up to the plate and make an offer that will ease your financial pain.

It's very simple. Just sign your car title over to me and drop it into the mailbox. As soon as I receive it, I'll send by return post, two fresh bunches of celery.

I know some of you are going to think I'm crazy for making such an offer, but what are friends for?