HotUKDeals Of The Day - Monday 24th August

Whenever we try and picture the typical Bitterwallet reader, we imagine someone who does all of their exercise using a computer game, while simultaneously stuffing sweets into their face and reading books by a classic children’s author.

That you? Thought so! You’ll love today’s bargains then – all plucked from the fertile soil that is HotUKDeals.

To any adult who chooses to read a Harry Potter ‘novel’ while on public transport, we say this: would you be just as comfortable reading ‘The Twits’ by Roald Dahl instead? If you wouldn’t then you are a fool – it’s a much better story than any of that Potter bollocks, plus there’s very little chance of anyone daring to sit beside you.

Now you can get The Twits (with Mr Twit the inspiration for Saddam Hussein’s memorable cool post-spider hole look (right)) along with 14 other Dahl meisterworks for only £15.99 delivered. If we see any of you on a train perusing Danny The Champion Of The World, we’ll tip you a knowing wink.

Hey – what’s that white rectangular piece of plastic that’s lying in the corner by your TV, pointlessly gathering dust? Oh of course, it’s a Wii Balance Board. We didn’t recognise it for a few seconds there because we never fucking use ours either.

But maybe we would if we had some accessories to go with it. Stuff like a clear protective cover, a pedometer, some sweatbands (ha!), a battery pack, a USB charging lead and a fucking yoga mat. We definitely would if we could get all that for just £9.95. So we fucking will.

Looks like we’ll have to be putting in some extra hours on the Wii Balance Board along with all its stupid accessories if this next offer is anything to go by. It includes nice big 100g bags of some of our favourite sweets for just £1 each (usually 2 for £3).

Classics in the offer include Minstrels, M&Ms, Maltesers and Mars Planets. How can there not be something you love in that lot? There’s even dirty Revels for the confectionery perverts! Om nom nom nom nom...

4 comments

7 years agopaul

Hey – what’s that white rectangular piece of plastic that’s lying in the corner by your TV, pointlessly gathering dust? Oh of course, it’s a Wii Balance Board. We didn’t recognise it for a few seconds there because we never fucking use ours either.
But maybe we would if we had some accessories to go with it. Stuff like a clear protective cover, a pedometer, some sweatbands (ha!), a battery pack, a USB charging lead and a fucking yoga mat. We definitely would if we could get all that for just £9.95. So we fucking will.
great command of the F word, credit to your education.

Yeah Andy, why can you swear your little pendulous teets off like some derranged Tourette afflicted teenager having just downed 3 cans of Relentless and a box of sugar puffs, but I can't say FUC*K without having my work moderated eh? hmmmm?