I know we all see the world through our own lenses,
but sometimes I think it is advisable to see beyond one’s own perspective.A male friend of mine was excitedly telling
me about a time during a camping trip when he was going to get a hand job (as
he so eloquently put it), and he couldn’t find some oil or something he wanted
to use in the event.What struck me so
funny was how he was talking.It sounded
like a serious emergency.

He didn’t hear himself and didn’t
seem to get what I found so funny.I
tried to explain.

“You sound like you were frantic
looking for your cream or oil or whatever.”

“Yes!This was important!”

“That’s what’s hysterical.You sound like it was of monumental
importance to…”

“It was!!!”

“To the world!Like borders should be sealed, so no one can
take off with your hand job cream.”

“Well she really wanted to give me
a hand job.”

“She wanted to please you.That’s nice.She must’ve liked you.”

“No.She wanted
to give me a hand job.”

“Yes but to please you.That’s the purpose.And that’s great, but it just is not a national
emergency.”

“Well it should be.It’s been a while since a woman wanted to do
that to me.”

“I understand.Your sense of urgency sounds funny to me.”

“Well, yeah, she thought it was
funny too.”

“I know how you are when you get
one-track-minded about something.She
didn’t know you well.It must’ve looked
hysterical.I can see you turning that
tent upside down to find that damn cream.”

“Okay, but I still say she wanted
to give me a hand job.”

“Look, I don’t think you were
forcing anyone to do anything.My point
is she is doing it to please you, which is nice.I’m not judging.But c’mon, giving you a hand job is for your
pleasure, not hers.Does she have a
clitoris on her palm?”