Tag Archive for: Barnett Crossbows

If you haven’t had the chance to read the How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Guide then check that out. Zombies(if they were real) require a different arsenal of weapons and equipment to fend them off. Here are some great options that could possibly help you survive another day. Rawr!!!

The only way to kill a zombie is to shoot it through the brain or burn it. Guns and flamethrowers are unavailable on Amazon, so you’ll have to settle for a crossbow.

The Barnett Ghost 400 “is fully capable of taking down large game, small game, and yes, even zombies,” said Barnett spokesman Major Person. “Head shots are a must for killing zombies and the Barnett is the most accurate crossbow on the market. Shoot to kill.”

Meet the chainsaw, the star of every hillbilly horrorshow. One list author on Amazon described the Husqvarna as “perfect if you’re stuck in a corner” with the living dead.

A chainsaw was spectacularly effective at dismembering undead Nazis in the 2009 film “Dead Snow.” But don’t try to saw zombies from a moving vehicle. You can accidentally bisect your friends, as shown in the 2004 remake of the cult classic “Dawn of the Dead.”

Hanwei Orchid Katana

Price: $299-$1,599 from CAS HanweiPractical use: Zombie decapitationPro: The sheer awesomeness of owning a katanaCon: Explaining to your wife that you bought a katana

“A katana needs to be at the top of anyone’s zombie survival kit if they’re hoping for any kind of long term survival,” said Blake Pogue, spokeswoman for CAS Hanwei, maker of this folded steel Orchid katana. “I mean, who is going to be making bullets after the apocalypse? I’d go for a no-frills decapitation when dispatching the zombie horde.”

Decapitation wouldn’t kill the zombie — a brain shot is required for that — but it does allow for escape.

Anti Riot Helmet

Price: $61.99 from RothcoPractical use: Protection against brain-eating zombiesPro: Visor deflects airborne fluids from the undeadCon: Windshield wipers not included

“Since zombies are well known for their appetite for eating brains, the high impact plastic construction should prove helpful in keeping one’s mind intact in such an emergency,” said Rothco sales director John Ottaviano.

Also, the visor will protect you from flying zombie fluids so you won’t get infected. “The last thing you want is to smash a zombie in the face and have the blood spray hit you in the eye or mouth,” said one Amazon lister.

Bite me. That’s what you can tell the zombies after you don this tooth-breaking FX1 FlexForce modular hard-shell, full-body crowd control armor.

An armored human “can get mauled by a zombie and still be a survivor,” said one Amazon list-writer. Bite prevention is essential, according to the Centers for Disease Control, which says “zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids.”