The family is loitering in the frozen food aisle because Mom won’t turn on the AC. This becomes a running theme throughout the show that I don’t even know how to make sound funny -- this is not starting well.

WTF is This Taco Bell ‘Breakfast Phone?’ A Twitter Summary

When we noticed some very bizarre Tweets floating around the Twitterverse this weekend, we were like, yes: a “breakfast phone” is exactly what we need. A phone that calls in our much needed bacon, egg, n’ cheese (on a roll! always on a roll!) and large cup of coffee whenever it’s needed. And then we realized that it was a Taco Bell stunt and we were like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

But for real, WTF IS THIS THING. Consumerist has the scoop, that the chain basically sent 1,000 free “breakfast phones” — actual cell phones — to “fast-food influencers” to go on “secret breakfast missions.” TACO BELL, THOSE THINGS ARE NOT THINGS. And then it became a social media contest for weird Taco Bell fanatics to win one, because who wouldn’t want a phone from 2004 to get a Taco Bell breakfast?

Still, we got a kick out of reading Tweets from those who actually received a phone, and those dying to get one. We’ll stick with our Seamless app, thanks.