Poin files: Cemetery edition

A woman working as a substitute teacher at Easton Area High School was charged Tuesday morning with institutional sexual assault on a 17-year-old male student after they were caught having sex in Easton Cemetery, city police report.

Kelly Aldinger, 49, of the Easton area, was found by a police officer at 1:06 p.m. May 6 having sex with the 17-year-old student in Easton Cemetery off North Seventh Street, Lt. Matthew Gerould said in a news release.

It's the little things with this one that make it great:
1) She looks like Phyllis from "The Office"
2) Her lawyer's office is in a strip mall between a Family Dollar and a Dominican hair salon. She's basically being represented by Lionel Hutz
3) How awesome is it that this is being reported by Channel 69?
4) The Channel 69 news anchor has a really weirdly shaped head. He looks like an alien.
5) I get the cemetery. If I'd hit that I'd probably wouldn't want to be around anyone who could judge me either.