Presenting our new crack unit!

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General, I’m proud to give you the first look at our new battlefield attack cycle! It carries five soldiers – three with assault weapons, a lookout on top, and a driver.

This is a rolling death machine that approaches speeds of four miles an hour, downhill. We can produce them for $240,000 each. I know that sounds high, General, but most of it goes to buy life insurance for the lookout guy.

Now, the three shooters are able to spray a bullet pattern of….

What, General? How does the driver see through all those billowing trousers to steer? Hmm. Uh, I guess we’ll need to work on that.

Well yes, General, I think it might work to have the shooters wear no pants of any kind, so the driver could kind of look around their bare butts to navigate…

That is a great idea, General, plus it solves another problem. Suddenly, the lookout no longer has the worst job on the motorcycle.

Any experienced cop will tells you that you have to have a few screws lose to ride a “wheel” (motorcycle). My friends on the Philadelphia Police Department’s Highway Patrol have been told that enough by myself. Shine the leather kids! They love it at thirteenth and Loucast Streets. I do not want you guys taking this picture seriously even if it was still the old Anti-Bandit Squad days.Keep it away from the Mayor you really do not want to give him any more bright ideas.Really enjoying my retirement!!!!!Ray