If any doubt remained in Washington about former Rep. Eric Massa’s skill at burning bridges, the congressman dispelled them Tuesday night on Glenn Beck’s show.

“Not only did I grope him,” Massa said in response to allegations that he made unwelcome advances on three male staffers, “I tickled him till he couldn’t breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.”

Tuesday night’s interview was billed as the ultimate expose in which Massa would reveal the “arm-twisting” that “forced him out” of Congress. Instead, said host Glenn Beck, viewers’ time “was wasted.”

The impetus for Massa’s appearance on Beck’s show was a 90-minute radio segment Massa delivered on Sunday, in which he claimed he was leaving the Hill to spare himself and his family from a smear campaign that House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel had devised to punish him for his “no” vote on health care.

But on Beck’s show, followers of the season’s most bizarre political story got yet another version of events.

“I wasn’t forced out. I forced myself out,” Massa said to a stunned Glenn Beck. “I failed. I didn’t live up to my own codes. I take full and complete responsibility for my own misbehavior.” Massa then walked back his claims about Rahm Emmanuel, saying that he was “good at making enemies, bad at making friends.”

When Beck pushed for more concrete evidence of foul play in the health care debate, Massa said, “I’ve had people tell me they’re not going to give me lobbying money if I don’t support health care.”