To survive and flourish, an individual must always be part of a community. But when she ceases to be an individual, she loses altogether the capacity to form and build a community.

The big question was whether to stay in the big boat of public service and social change (assuming I didnt have a huge heart break to deal with), and lose my individuality; or to get off and yet again find my calm — an ever difficult situation that people with passion (obsession/frustration) for a better world face from time to time (that was the same dilemma that lead to the creation of this blog — “This is your battle, and yours alone”).

What is your art? It amuses me to hear people say they don’t have any talent or that they’re not good in anything.

“Care of the Soul requires craft.

To live with a high degree of artfulness means to attend to the small things that keep the soul engaged in whatever we are doing And it is the very heart of soul-making.”

Art, as language of the soul, nurtures the soul.
Thus it should be in our every day.

“The fine arts are elevated and set apart from life, becoming too precious and therefore irrelevant. Having banished art to the museum, we fail to give it a place in ordinary life.”

My art is in people. I like seeing them grow and I’m a believer of change and progress. Seeing through and being seen, that’s when I am most connected to the world, in my very sense of destiny. People when they bloom, for me is the most beautiful that art has ever known.

Art that is not contained in movement, in rhythm, in color, texture and shape, in emotions and still moments — what is your art?

This is what Hey Artist is all about. Focus on your craft, enrich your talent, nurture your soul, and work out your own salvation.

I thought soul-searching was such a cool thing, like having midlife crisis at 20 (which a few people of my age claim). Until I realize that a lot of aspiring models and actresses are also corporate drop-outs. In short, we are all bums.

First off, not that I have anything against models. Of course, I’m guilty of bias, you know the stereotype that models are empty blondes. That’s just.. a bias.

After I had a realization that there is a path to self-hood and doing what you love (paid to exist, Illuminated Mind, Work is not a Job, and a whole lot of similar stuff), I kind of got paralyzed and scared to do what might end up wrong. Suddenly all jobs don’t make sense, misaligned, misfit… Even the most charitable institutions’ practices are not the most trustworthy.

Trech told me how she (mindlessly) goes back and forth to something she loves, and hates. In this process, she thinks that she is giving up her principles in fitting into their system.

And then I saw this article, where even the most mundane job makes sense. Does life-work integration come at a ripe time? Instead of being paralyzed, maybe I should get my ass moving, that whatever happens, there’s always something to learn.

The thing is, I kinda figured out what I wanna do. But marrying it with profits seems hard — technically and philosophically, in practice and in belief. I thought social entrepreneurship would have at least taught me to be comfortable about making money with doing good, but why is it damn hard?

I was surprised with Oppa Michael‘s message “bold Kara.” He said that I just look so free (referring to this picture). Though I am writing to share essentially how to be free through authenticity, I, myself am not completely there yet. I had been into some kind of mild depression. At first I realized that it was because of my sick body. When it passed, it was because of something else.

Finally I am interested in getting a job again. Upon looking at the qualifications, I wanted to puke. I felt incompetent, inadequate. Then my life seemed stuck.

The world seems to accept only the perfect — personable, confident, organized, enthusiastic… All the requirements make me wanna be somebody else and make up awesome titles and stories why my resume is such and such. It’s like I have to convince them that I’m the perfect person described in those qualifications.

But Ms. Awesome has nothing to do with me. In all that I’ve done, fear is always there, Unconfident Kara is always sitting beside me. I feel fake. I’m scared that at the end, someone would tell me, “but it has all failed anyway.”

What I have learned in chasing men, when we tailor-fit ourselves to the requirements of others, we will never know ourselves and those who love us for who we truly are.

When the world becomes confusing, I go back to the naked. Regardless of what the world is looking for, what does make me alive? I will do it. I might face rejections, but these will be the sweetest rejections if they lead me closer to knowing myself. I may not have a spot now, but one day I will find my destiny (destiny, which for Trech, is belongingness).

Photo of/from Kae Villar

I remember a story from Andrea about her Japanese friend. In Japan, she was the odd one out, she was the weirdo, she was just too happy for the Japanese. When she came to the Philippines, she found her home. The same is true about artists who haven’t found their audience yet.

Trech’s creativity mantra is “Follow the Rules. Then Break Them.” This is the only way you can get around laws and get away with your (mis)adventures. This is also mindful innovation – building on things that are already at hand. Creators who don’t look at what’s working well, fail. Look into the rules. Then break them.

To have order, humans created laws. Then created a profession called “lawyering” to swing around the loops. That’s how bored we are. We make things, to move around them.

getting around the maze

In high school, when I was reprimanded for having 3 pairs of earrings, playing cards during break, and not following CAT rules, I simply asked for rule books and policies. I found confidence in being protected by the very laws that might have otherwise constrained me, simply by being smart and snob about it.

I know you, I’m superior to you. This can be a source of temporary peace.

A lot of people develop really good skills at lying ; others surround themselves with brands to appear intimidating (power clothes?); some get smart and strong friends to defend and cover for them; a few utilize family names and connections; a few more rely on good looks and sex appeal; some resort to bribery (from as obvious as money to as trivial as good grades); some master the art of manipulation; and some develop a lawyer mind.

Looking at a bigger picture, the structure we get around with is just one among many. Why would you even want to be in any of those?

No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that created it. – Einstein

If we’re really serious about our lives, happiness and world peace, perhaps there’s a more meaningful way to live. The people who inspire us about “changing the world” did not subtly consent to their status quo. Don’t worry, we won’t go into How to Change the World! lol

Intermediate freedom is getting around the structures that try to dominate and rule your life.

I stopped going to church when Jollibee stopped motivating me. Recently, I decided to do away with the sign-of-the-cross (which I previously consciously embraced). The trigger was how supposed Christians reacted to Mideo Cruz, ’nuff said. I realized that removing all symbols, routines, and images doesn’t really bring me farther away from god.

When I stopped going to church, it was merely because it didn’t make sense to me. I did not rebel whatsoever, I just came to the conclusion that I cannot know whether god existed.

So how can you free yourself? We are born into the world with a perfect belief system — family values, society, religion, school, etc. Essentially, we are born bonded, tied and constrained to these structures. You are born unconscious. You start becoming alive when you question every little part of this finished/polished world, where there is almost no space for exploration and discovery.

save yourself from nonsense

Wearing complete uniform at school didn’t make sense to me. Not being allowed to have 3 pairs of earrings did not make sense to me. Not being allowed to dye my hair did not make sense to me. Not being allowed to play cards along corridors did not make sense to me. Why I have to wear my uniform exactly two inches below the knee did not make sense to me. The rules of the CAT (citizen army training) did not make sense to me. Why I have to memorize “prayers” did not make sense to me. Why I can’t eat in class did not make sense to me. Why I cannot cheat did not make sense to me. Hating gays and condemning prostitutes did not make sense to me. Why my friends have to go home before night falls did not make sense to me.

The first step is investigating which is real and which isn’t, which makes sense and which is BS.

Being aware of what structures are trying to dominate and rule your life is a precious first step towards your own liberation.

Is it your mom bombarding you with text messages? Is it your principal who says you can’t wear striped socks? Is it your 6 pm curfew? Is it your english teacher who says you can’t write in your own style? Is it your neighbor who plays loud music? Or your friend who always drags you along? Is it your boss who keeps you in the shadows? Or your credit card company? Or your mayor who would not effect change? Do nothing, yet. Just be aware.

My hobby is dissecting – concepts (like love, attachment, art, fear, etc), minds, behavior, and my favorite, people. This “project humanity” that officially started 3 years ago was supposed to save the entire humanity. An ego-buster, a mental surgeon, a midwife that ferries people to awakedness, from darkness to light. I totally like seeing brains explode and eyes that look like seeing something for the first time (be it nice or gruesome), and people’s total surrender (like, “Ok, I have to work on my life”).

I just got my third “kara, don’t make me think.” First it was Andre, then Aby, then Kash.

It’s not really the process of mental surgery that I enjoy. It’s not the actual slicing and rummaging through minds, past, future, motivations, self-image… Yes, that’s orgasmic but the release is upon seeing their growth. The fulfillment is when they start going down into their own forest, when they discover themselves and start re-living.

Once they become alive, there’s not much I can do. They’re alive and are now capable of making their own movement, discovering their own truths. They even start to question and challenge me (that’s painful but very humbling).

roar to liberation

Why do I even do it?

Because I like beautiful things and beauty usually lies beneath the attachments and brands that we surround ourselves with. I don’t want to have a relationship with those objects, I want to see the real person hiding underneath. This work is really dirty and bloody. Friends even feel it invasive, manipulative, cruel, dominating… I question my motivations. But I find only compassion at the very bottom. When they become free, they are their own master, there’s no benefit for me. Well yeah, strong liberated friends are there for me when I stumble and weaken. They continue to remind me who I am and what I want to spend my life doing. They are my artwork, my legacy, my footprints, my dent on the world. And every time I step back and look at my work, I am even more liberated.

Some people didn’t like it, they didn’t like me. So I let them go and focus on good investments whom I thank for letting me do it.

Having a business discipline, I was looking for ways on how to mass-produce this conscious-making (the first step in the process ofhuman liberation). I realized that I can’t ever possibly do it for others. This life is our own battle. You really have to cut through yourself on your own. I can only help people get the tool sharpened, their minds.