I've been thinking for a while that being a weight watcher is not working for me. I'm bored silly with worrying about my weight and doing all the work to see the numbers shrink. I go so well for a time, feel well, get fitter, then slide into a period of failure.

I could care less about what I weigh except it's nice to wear pretty clothes and be able to shop anywhere instead of just having one favourite group of shops, Daisy T, which are only found in the larger cities and are rather expensive. Not that I mind paying when I'm still wearing clothes I bought 5 years ago which still feel good and look good because their designers make things i like and suit me. I do look around the cheaper shops from time to time and in desperation make the odd purchase but rarely do I find something that is truly satisfactory.

So ... Does that mean my main reason for losing weight is to have a smaller body and look better in my clothes? Not really because I do look nice if I choose wisely. I would look even better if I was smaller and it would be easier and cheaper to find clothes I like.

Health and well being are my real focus and become more important as you grow older. My daughter, Jay, is a Community Nurse. That means she does follow up treatments in people's homes as well as clinic appointments for medical, post operative and Hospice care. This morning she was talking about some of her more difficult patients in the sense they have multiple health issues. Many are smokers or drinkers or do little exercise. People with unhealthy lifestyles do not have a happy time as they age.

I know these things. I'm not stupid or am I? It is stupid to continue to do something that is ruining your life. For nearly 20 years I've had a BMI over 35. Right now it's too close to 40 for comfort. I do things in fits and starts. Even though I've chosen to live a healthier lifestyle I'm still a yo-yo dieter and a spasmodic exerciser. Incidentally I'm not BMI conscious but maybe it would help me to consider it.SNAP DRAGON

We also talked about addiction and how most people break through the physical/chemical side of addiction in 72 hours. The craving and emotional/spiritual side often lasts a lifetime. Recently I read there is scientific evidence proving that it takes 4 days to break an addiction to a high carbohydrate diet. That fits with my experience. Low carbohydrate may not be sustainable every day for the rest of my life but I know there's room to be flexible providing I stay within certain guidelines. My problem is that I have taken liberties with being 'flexible' and it doesn't work for me.

I am now in a state where it takes tremendous brain power and determination to get through those first 4 days and continue to the end of the first week. Once I get through the first 3 weeks I tend to be on a roll and not only loose weight but feel more energetic and healthy.

I've done this so many times it should be easy but there's a little voice nagging away saying to me. 'Why bother? Life is for living!' Do I really live to eat? Are certain foods so important to me that I'd feel as if I only have half a life if I reduce or even eliminate them? I know I've felt kind of rebellious that at my time of life I have to 'diet.'

I need to be sensible and tell that stupid voice that I can't continue like this and I'm not really living as things are. I want to optimise my life. It's plain stupid to use my age as an excuse to eat whatever when by doing so I'm reducing my general enjoyment of life. It becomes more of a struggle to move as you grow older so why add weight to it? Digestion also becomes more easily upset as one ages so there are many reasons to stop making excuses and get on with becoming as healthy as possible.

I can't believe I've allowed myself to be in this position at 71. It makes me cross but nothing is solved by beating myself up.

I don't want to put the scales away. I'm not talking about that. There is something exciting about watching those numbers change when they are going down. I've been thinking a lot about what I really want to do. I read a heap of Blogs, not all are weight, fitness, health orientated, but enough of them are for me to know I'm not alone in my mental battle.

In yesterday's dream I struggled to climb into the 'wagon'. It was very high and difficult. I was overweight and unfit in my dream and that was the main reason I found it so difficult to get into that wagon. Whether this is how I think about where I am now or not doesn't really matter. My battle is to have optimal health. For this to happen I need to eat only those foods that contribute to good health as far as my budget allows. It also means I need to become regularly active.

These are changes that must be made. I have no choice if I want to be healthy going forward. Weight loss is a natural result of living to improve my health. I don't even want to talk about weight loss any more.

Healthy food includes a good amount of protein, fresh vegetables and fruit and I believe the fats and carbohydrates look after themselves within those guidelines. The food is easy. I just need to do it.

More difficult is exercise. I love to be active but it's becoming difficult. My body aches and is tired and weary. My feet hurt. My back aches. I quickly become breathless. I already have high blood pressure and I worry that I may have a hint of heart disease.

I've pondered on this matter. Sorry if I'm boring you. Which comes first, the eating well to lose weight or the exercise?

Once upon a time when I ate well my energy increased and I enjoyed walking so much that before long I wanted to add in other things like stretching and the more demanding cross trainer and weights etc. That's probably still true but I haven't put it to the test for a wee while.

I am talking about health in general here. Two things go together, good diet and exercise. In all other ways I lead a healthy enough life.

Conclusion. I'm bored with having a focus on weight loss. This journal was never meant to be just about weight loss, and it never has been, although sometimes that's hard to tell.SWEET PEAS

I'm slowly changing my mind set. I don't know whether it will make it easier or harder to live a healthier and happier life. I don't know how it is going to work out in practice. I don't know what changes there will be but I cannot go on as I am.

I have a future. It won't be much unless I do what I can to optimise my health.

6 comments:

Fwiw, I started with exercise. Just a little, but every day. That made me feel better and stronger, and then I started making adjustments to my eating. You DESERVE a pain-free life, and I'm sure you'll find it if you keep trying.

I, too, stuggle with weight issues. I am about 40 pounds overweight. I've lost it, gained it back, lost it again and gained it back. I am now only 9 pounds from my all time high. I find it easy to walk and can even comfortably walk uphill a lot (with some shortness of breath) but when I notice the extra weight most is when I kneel down or sit on the floor. I find it so difficult to get up.

So, like you I struggle. I turned 67 two days ago. My wish for both of us is to be able to settle into a pattern of healthier eating and moderate daily exercise.

My... so many thoughts after reading this. Being 59, I could relate to so many of the age-related thoughts. So many!

Before I get off on a tangent, I wanted to say what a treat your photos are for me... they make me feel good, like getting visual hugs or something!

Now... about which to do, food or exercise. I remember back when I was starting. And I discovered the truth: success is contagious.

So to put that into practice, just DO first whichever you feel you will do better at. That will cause you to feel good, confident, motivated, better about it all.

Then you will WANT to work on the other. At least it works that way for me. So, there is no one size fits all answer. People who are strong at one thing are wrong to say "everyone" must do it their way.

I say, do it YOUR way. Take your strengths, and let them work FOR you. :-)

"Weight loss is a natural result of living to improve my health. I don't even want to talk about weight loss any more."

Boy, I soooo relate to that! Sometimes, I just want this to be OVER. And pout that this is my lot in life... and rebel.

So then I have to work on my attitude, and shift my focus to gratitude. I have to make myself not compare to others (I fall into that too often) and just accept that this is MY life... it is what it is. Now I can make it the best by my choices... or not.

Sorry this is so long... your post was wonderful, and stirred up so many thoughts.

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About Me

I am in my 78th year and live in New Zealand. In 2013 my husband, John, and I spent our 50th Wedding Anniversary in Hawaii. We have a major trip to North America planned for 2018
I have a long history of losing and gaining weight. I first began keeping an on-line journal around 2000 as a way to record my weight loss and quest for better health.
We moved to Christchurch in December 2015 to be near our only Grandchild. Ava -Jane is a wonderful gift to our family.
Life is full of the unexpected.
I am all about having some fun times this year.

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