Behind Big Brother

Day 40 Uplate

16 June 2005

Posted by Tim

I join Big Brother uplate at 11.55pm. Christie and Geneva are on the bed talking about the boys. Rachael notices how clean the toilets are, and how disgusting the toilet brushes are… the’yre revolting there is shit on them. Christie says she did a big poo today. Rachael announces she did a small poo just now, and sprayed air freshener so it doesn’t smell. Christie just poured a whole lot of Red Bull on herself accidentally. She says she burnt her nipples (in the sun) and gets the girls to check them by touching them. Rachael borrows some of Geneva’s moisturiser. Rachael says if she’s still in on Monday she’s going to ask Big Brother if she can swap her perfume for moisturiser. Christie has a bit of trouble putting one of the boy’s shirts on. Rachael goes on to talk about how she cleaned the toilets so well today. She leaves the bedroom with Geneva while still explaining how there was shit on the top of the toilet seat. She wonders how that got there. Geneva sits down with the boys while Dean talks about “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”.

12.05am – The housemates are playing a game guessing names of people and movies. The coversation is being dominated by Dean, Glenn and David (when is it not?). Rachael is trying to butt in occasionally and Hotdogs is just silent. Greg is talking abotu winning some coversation, swearing a lot. Feeds back to the bedroom and Christie and Geneva are continuing their conversation about people in the house when Christie wonders where people have hidden their Mars bars. Geneva thinks they would so get away with stealing Mars bars this time around. Geneva hates how there are restrictions on what chocolate they are given. Christie says tonight she doesn’t give a fuck about Greg. Geneva says they need each other and they need to just get through to each other just a little bit more. Geneva wonders why she is still here. Christie says “its not my fault the housemates hate me but Australia loves me”. They both cheer to that with their drinks. “Its just cos I’m great and I’m fine and… I don’t know”. “I just can’t wait till Sunday night, I honestly cannot wait. Honestly I cannot cannot wait”. Geneva wishes they had makeup and alcohol to go with it. Christie and Geneva start determining how much vodka are in their drinks.

The following blocks seem very short but Mike Goldman plugs SMS numbers so often now its impossible to see an extended block of footage.

12.09am – Hotdogs is having a drunken D&M with Vesna. They start hugging and giving each other pecks on the check. Vesna whispers something into Hotdog’s ear but its not picked up by the microphones. Hotdogs talks about hollywood stars and how they were nude models to fund acting school. Big Brother tries to censor it but misses it completely. Some of the housemates go back to looking at the calendar and Hotdogs says he loves it so much.

12.19am – Housemates are still looking at all the photos from the task. In the mids of the conversations over-lapping, Glenn talks about some mothers buying the calendars outside the house. Christie starts singing copyrighted songs so Mike Goldman comes on to try and sell ringtones… again.

When we return Tim is sitting down next to Rachael and she gives him a very sexual “hello”. She goes to talk about all the punk makeup on him. They turn onto David’s photo and they all comment its the most “you” he’s been in the house. Geneva goes on to explain her photographing angles to capture David’s shiny-ness. In the bedroom Glenn is cosying up to Vesna. They are lying on a bed together and Glenn says its been a very good night – but he’s upset Vesna is feeling sick. She thinks its because of mixing the food with chocolate. Greg comes in and Glenn comments on how Greg had his first wank tonight. Greg says it only lasted 45 seconds. Glenn leaves Vesna alone in the bedroom.

12.34am – Kate is sitting next to David. Dean is joking about how Kate looks when she’s “pissy”. Kate laughs and tells him stop. Apparently she is wearing a wig. Kate jokes about the “girl” in Ace Ventura. Kate is talking about all the baby oil she rubbed on David for it. The girls are looking at the pictures of Glenn and his tan lines. Geneva asks Dean if he became a rock star would he get a tatoo on his arm. He says he’d get a huge one. Christie is talking about how her chest would get her far. They start talking about how one of the housemates in the calendar looks like Pauline Hanson (the BB censors aren’t very good at bleeping it out).

12.45am – The calendar is still the centre conversation in the Big Brother house. Christie and Geneva are gossiping silently. Geneva is counting how many people she’s hooked up with in the calendar. Rachael and Tim are finally left alone together and talk about the calendar. Rachael says its cute he’s left the fake tatoo on all this time. He says he likes it. Rachael says one of her eyes is half open and the other closed… she looks weird. Tim says everyone else is so sexy and limp… at least he has some action. Rachael says its funny she is after Tim in the calendar. Tim says he took this shot (looks like Hotdogs maybe). He is glad how the photo turned out.

12.57am – For some reason Hotdogs has hidden the calendar from the rest of the housemates. Apparently Christie threw something at Rachael and it has pissed her off. Christie said it was just for a joke and Rachael should fart him her face as payback. Christie gets changed and looks grumpy. Kate is in bed with David and Dean. Geneva is lying around with Glenn, with idle conversation about how Chrisite is quiet tonight. Tim is talking with Greg, Hotdogs and Christie. They are joking about having a gangbang tonight. They tell Tim to think with his dick, not his brain. Hotdogs jokes about all the good things his brain has done – protests, dungeons and dragons, atari.. and then think of all the good things yoru dick has done for you. “Where has your atari got you?”. Tim says “all I can say it real estate takes time to kick in”. The three of them are now pressuring Tim to go make a move on Rachael. Hotdogs says he had his first kiss tonight now he needs to have his first root”. “This is your chance to make her feel special”. Tim speaks a Spanish metaphore about being gentle and sweet. They call Rachael to come over and talk to Tim. Meanwhile Rachael is looking at all the types of condoms Big Brother has given them – they even have glow in the dark ones. Greg says he has a pimple inside his nose, and does his hair up in the camera mirrors. Hotdogs starts joking about how Kate is in bed with David and Glenn is in phase three with Geneva: “you’ve got to plant the seeds before the harvest can rise”. Some one throws something at Dean and Dean gets really angry “that almost hit my head!”.

1.09am – Christie has blown up a condom and is throwing it around in the bedroom. She holds the condom against her crotch and says “imagine if this whole thing was my dick and I went like this” she starts rubbing the condom. Loud latex squeeking noises. Hotdogs is telling all the housemates very loudly about his plan to get Tim and Rachael together. He is very drunk. Some one comments they don’t like Hotdogs when he’s drunk – he’s a different person. Christie continues with her condom volleyball, playing with David and Dean – who are in their usual couple position on the bed.

1.14am – The jokes about drunk Kate continue. Hotdogs is saying Vesna is giving him angry looks. Dean says Vesna hasn’t talked to him in the last three days (liar). Kate and Hotdogs have a drunk conversation about giving each other kisses. He says Kate is the most beautiful girl in the house. She is all giggles. Vesna is lying on her own, still feeling sick. Hotdogs cracks some bones and Dean brags he can do it with his toes. Hotdogs doesn’t care, rolling over to Kate saying “girls come first”. Dean though is adament he must show Hotdogs how he can crack his toes. He does – horrible cracking noise. The housemates around them shudder. Dean cracks his elbows as well. They start singing songs so feed cuts to Geneva and Glenn. They are still having idle conversation about evictions and general life in the house.

Sigh… Hotdogs and Kate apparently had a pash, but what do we see? A brainteaser.

1.23pm – Rachael is comforting Vesna on her bed. Rachael says to Dean they need to have a D&M for the next few days incase she is evicted. Hotdogs comes over to Tim and says his “missus” is getting close with donkey-dick. Hotdogs is being a real dickhead – he’s really drunk. Tim, not amused, goes to get a drink of water in the kitchen. Some of the Logans and Geneva are putting makeup all over Glenn’s face – clown style. Dean is now wrestling Christie(?). The housemates are even painting Glenn’s nails now. He doesn’t seem to care. In the living room Kate and Hotdogs are dancing but they’re also singing a song so we can’t watch… we only seem them for 5 seconds (FFS!). Geneva comments Glenn is looking a little like some one from Clockwork Orange. Christie says he looks like a clown but Geneva angrily corrects her it’s supposed to be Clockwork Orange. Out comes the silver body paint – its going all over Glenn’s hand. Rachael says Glenn needs some wax in his eyebrows. Hotdogs puts a whole lot of foundation all in Glenn’s bellybutton. Rachael isn’t impressed: that foundation is expensive and he just wasted a whole lot. David isn’t impressed either: Glenn is wearing his expensive jeans. A few moments later they finish and Rachael says if they spray it with hair spray the makeup will be set. She goes to get the hairspray but Glenn really doesn’t want it put on his face. She tells him to close his eyes and nose. Rachael insists it will set the makeup and that she does it sometimes. She eventually sprays it on him. David is scared about inhaling some of the hairspray. Geneva is still going at the makeup. When she finishes Glenn sits up and he looks like a freaky clown. He goes to inspect it in the camera mirrors. He says its fucked up – he was expecting something totally different. There are accusations of a fart.