Why Some Filipinos Do Not Honor RSVP Requests (And a Great Lesson from the Jose-Rostie Wedding)

More-than two-hundred (wedding) invitations were sent out. The deadline for receiving the RSVP's was on the 17th of this month. All responded, EXCEPT my brothers and sisters. I thought and thought about it. I asked myself several times, ‘why?’—Jesse Jose

T hus Jesse Jose, our columnist with his in-your-face confrontational style, dealt with the failure of his siblings to send back the self-addressed-stamped envelopes (SASE) as their RSVPs to the wedding invitations sent by his daughter-in-law to be. If you have not read Ka Jesse’s outburst, please click on this link:

There is a joke that former President Erap taught Rep. Manny Pacquiao that RSVP means “Return to Sender Very Promptly.”

At least former President Joseph Ejercito Estrada understands what RSVP means. Now, even Congressman Pacquiao probably knows that it is the acronym of "Répondez s'il vous plaît", a formal French phrase that means "Please Reply."

So, how come some, if not quite a few, Filipinos do not honor RSVP requests – even among Overseas Filipinos? Perhaps because many Filipinos do not speak French and they cannot understand "Répondez s'il vous plaît"?

H ere is the final retort of Jesse Jose, as he closes the matter with his siblings: Mr. Jose writes:

“How much time is involved in responding to Jaclyn's invitation and in sending back that RSVP to her? All you guys had to do was to check the RSVP either yes or no, seal the envelope and drop it in a mailbox. May selyo na rin yung envelope. Mahirap bang gawin yun? Matagal bang gawin yan? Will that take you a long time to do that? Check it yes or no, seal it and mail it! That's it! How much time is involved there? How much time will that take away from your so VERY BUSY schedule?

“Your excuses are so flimsy! Bising-bisi KAYONG LAHAT to be able to do that?

“At saka, ano naman excuse ni Kirsten from preventing her in sending back the RSVP? So VERY BUSYdin ba? Kawawa naman kayo? Bising-bisi kayong lahat! Over two-hundred invitations to this Jose-Rostie wedding were sent out, but only the JOSE family members were so goddamn BUSY to mail out the RSVP. Ano ang ibig sabihin niyan?

“AGAIN, the steps in sending back that RSVP: Check it YES or NO! Seal the envelope! And drop it in a mailbox! Ilang oras mo gagawin yan? Matagal bang gawin yan?

A ctually Jesse Jose is doing a great service to the Filipino-American community and the Filipino people in general. By going ballistics over the failure of his siblings to send back the RSVP card contained in their respective SASEs, Mr. Jose is perhaps the first Filipino writer cum community leader to come forward and confront in the open a bad habit among some of our people.

It is a fact that very-few Filipino-American writers and journalists reply to the RSVP invitation from the Philippine Consulate General in Los Angeles, California, for functions and/or press conferences held at its premises.

Here is another instance . . . When our group held the First Media Breakfast Club-Dean Jose Reyes Award for Journalistic Excellence and Literary Distinction on Nov. 30, 2001, quite a few individuals never bothered to honor our RSVP request sent along with the invitation. (But the event went A-OK, as we served more-than 440 dinners at the Sheraton Gateway Hotel at the LAX for the said event.)

I remember also the recent golden-wedding anniversary and reception for Dr. and Dra. Jose Baldonado, the much-respected former First Couple of the Filipino-American Community of Los Angeles (FACLA). My wife and I were some of the few former FACLA officers that attended the church ceremonies. At the huge reception – where many community leaders were present – I looked especially for a nephew of Dra. Caridad Baldonado, since he is an elected public official in a Southern-California city. But the nephew and his wife were not there. Later I learned that the Baldonado Family sent him an invitation but the nephew never bothered to mail back the SASE. And yes, I learned likewise that several individuals invited by the Baldonado Couple never also bothered to comply with the RSVP request. And worse, some invited guests who did send back the SASE—and confirmed their attendance—did not show up at the church or at the hotel where the reception was held.

The Baldonado experience reinforced my observation that “RSVP Sent But . . .” is worse than not even replying to an RSVP request.

During the wedding of my son, six fellow directors of my wife in a Filipino-American association sent back promptly the RSVP card. They confirmed that they would attend with their respective spouses at least the reception. But . . . they failed to come. This meant that 12 seats were empty and unoccupied and the reception tab for them came at $1,200 (@ $100 per head). So in jest, I told my wife that someday I would not even invite them to my funeral. # # #

I read Bobby's article. I was very suprised by this fact in the Filipino community. Reason being is that Tara is very adamant that we return any RSVP, regardless whether we are going or not; it is just a courtesy. Wow! Who would've thought? I can know understand your frustration and the reason you are not happy with your siblings. Didn't realize that many Filipinos do not honor RSVP requests. How sad.

Gerry

Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

"The Jose family is beginning to look lilke a bunch of laughable idiots na. "
That is the picture and too bad painted by its own blood!!! Truly laughable and distasteful. We are not guilty of flimsy excuses and most of all we are not idiots. NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!
Margaret de Jesus