Two months after a mother of four separated from her husband, she found out from her children that their father had been sexually molesting them. She called the Ministry of Children and Family Development Vancouver and the Vancouver Police Department for assistance.

The court issued a restraining order against the father preventing him from interacting with the mother or the children. In retaliation, the father and his friends called the Police and the Ministry repeatedly claiming the mother to be crazy and unfit to take care of the children.

The court stepped in and awarded custody of the children to foster parents. A social worker eventually allowed the father unsupervised visitation, where he allegedly started molesting again.

The case was reviewed and overturned, awarding sole guardianship and custody to the mother.

The mother says there’s no sign her ex-husband is going to stop molesting so she wants him properly prosecuted. She’s also asking the Vancouver police to reopen the case.

4

Comment on this article

Two pediatricians, without my knowledge, and 3 psychologists reported my X sociopath to the children’s protection services for sexual abuse. Each time the case worker spine to him, the momentum of the case dropped. They closed 5 reports. Years later a guidance counselor reported and took a photo of a bruise with a disclosure from my son. It was closed again. The supervisor of children’s services recommended a police report to be filed by me with the reports attached. Detectives were convinced of his guilt and said he would likely be prosecuted. My children were sent to a specialty division of children’s services for counseling just for sexual abuse. They said they had abuser loyalty. Bribes and promises and tricks were keeping them silent. The oldest had sleep terrors every night for years. Begging daddy to go away and not to kill him, easing him to stop. Some were audiotape. He vomited daily in the morning when he slept with his dad every night and he had to use medicated hemorrhoid medication. If it was not in his book bag he panicked and wouldn’t go to school. He was paranoid of police for no reason and anxiety effected his school performance. Yet the case was closed and all the authorities and sex abuse team could think was he knew a judge or a high ranked employee in children’s services. My youngest jsd rectal bleeding. I was too scared to stay at hospital abd left. Fearful of my X retakiatiin if they suspected my X! Fearful if exam should penetration then my X would blame someone skse..as he always did for all cheating, gambling, addiction evidence i found i also made mistake of calling him and he said that it was constipation. Ofd he only had bleeding on mondays. Four times! He gets visitation every other weekend. A civil suit for visitation would end up a pissing match that would leave me broke. He’d hire expensive evaluators, abuser loyalty and fear of kids would prevent disclosure and my kids know he supports us 100%. I’d look like a bitter wife (Althoigh poverty with him in jail does not seem like a very good motive). I loved him so much during our. Marriage that I ignored the signs. I thought my son was dreaming or lying about the sexual acts he described. He slept with him every night and vomited every morning and I still didn’t put it all together. I asked my x if he was doing those things and he denied it. I dud suspect but was easily convinced by my x it was ridiculous. My x made me homeschool him and he blamed all his anxiety symptoms on “he’s just high strung like you. Hell grow out of it” My x is very charming. Also a well respected and well known professional in our county. What can I do??? My children go to an abuser every other weekend!!! I feel like my hands are tied to protect them. We just educated them and hope they will not fall under his spell again. There no way to overcome a sociopath if authorities hit a dead end. All involved were so apologetic and perplexed with the evidence that it kept falling through the cracks. Please give me suggestions if I have missed a way to save my kids. I don’t think it’s happening Anymore but by being with him
My son is traumatized and anxiety goes back up. t his age he is showered with expensive trips cars and favorite things.

VictimCindy – what a horror story. It makes me so angry that the people who are supposed to protect children don’t do their jobs.

December 10, 2013 12:08 pm

victimcindy

Yes Donna that is often the case. With your knowledge about sociopaths you know how much worse the investigation would be. We have a charming well-respected professional. We had children who have been charmed, bribed, and tracked by their sociopathic father. We have caseworkers and investigators who are not always as educated as you would hope who are prey tithe big smile, manipulation and sociopathic trance. It’s a perfect storm. They do need a disclosure to children’s protection team. My child was alone w pediatrician discussing sleep disturbances and the pediatrician got a disclosure. He reported the details to me once. My younger one played and talked about it and woke up in the night to say dada give me boo boo in my butt it feels like fireworks. Psychologists were told by my oldest. My youngest was videotaped playing 3 times and saying what daddy does. Without a physical exam w DNA or a disclosure in a two way mirror room w a stranger and two detectives, they cannot use disclosures to dictors or therapists. The doctos and therapists were willing to testify but with my ex having such influence and resources to get high profile evaluators I was afraid. I believe that the kids would be taken away after we both were penniless by the time the last was much older. It would be tears of fighting. I don’t want my x in prison. I just want my kids to be safe. One has not been abused and will not. He’s too communicative. My older is Already destroyed. My youngest I have to pray it stopped for good. It’s been years since he reported daddy penetrating him. I believe be has forgotten. Which is best. But my oldest acts like we do when we are exposed to our sociopaths. Te fight or flight kicks in. We are confused. I think my son is confused. Protecting his dad, our finances, and focusing on the promises of taking over the business as promised. I also believe that he is ashamed. The therapists said kids can experience pleasure and that frightens them and makes them feel guilty. It’s gut wretching go live w this family secret. not all pedophile are sociopaths. Do you agree the ability of a sociopath to silence the victim is worse than normal ? Do you agree the authorities can be duped easier? They can use their connections to dodge the consequences? It’s horrific. I do reach out go anyone who can suggest any other options.

It is such an intense betrayal to be molested by a parent. The impacts on your children can’t possibly be understood or resolved in a short “post.”

You mentioned that you dot want your ex prosecuted. I firmly believe that’s a mistake and that both you and the children would be far better off if he was. Criminal prosecution is different than family or divorce court. If you have the ammunition to pursue charges against this man, you should. He has committed a terrible wrong and should be in prison. Your children should see that you have stood up for them, regardless whether he is convicted or not.

They need to know that conviction is often a matter of proof, not of truth. And not every outcome in a courtroom is a “just” decision. You may want to call the District Attorney in your area and determine if there is sufficient evidence for a case.

Other than pursuing criminal prosecution against him, I’d look for the means to move yourself away to a place where he has less influence with the courts.