How to Have a Boy or a Girl

"I've heard there are ways to boost the chances of making a baby boy or girl. What are these gender selection techniques?"

Do you have visions of pink or of blue in your future? While having a healthy baby is most certainly your top priority, it’s also totally normal (and quite common) to yearn for a baby of one sex or the other. Whichever you have your heart set on, there are some ways — both scientific and silly — that just may manipulate Mother Nature and increase your odds of conceiving a boy or a girl. Take a look at these gender selection options:

Gender Selection the High Tech Way

If you’re getting an assist from science to get pregnant in the first place, you may be able to have a hand in which gender you conceive. As promising and exciting as these high-tech boosts may sound, you’ll have to remember that these methods of gender selection are costly, invasive, sometimes controversial, and may require that you meet strict eligibility criteria.

Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD): This method was developed to help couples who have gone through genetic testing and know they are carriers of serious genetic disorders. Used in conjunction with in-vitro fertilization (IVF), doctors extract one cell from the rapidly dividing embryo fertilized in the petri dish and examine it to determine gender. Only embryos of the desired sex will be implanted in the mom’s uterus. While this method is effective, it is also controversial — and most fertility centers and medical organizations discourage it if there is no real medical reason to select gender.

Sperm sorting: This gender selection technique involves separating girl-producing sperm (X-sperm) from boy-producing sperm (Y-sperm) in the lab and then either inserting sperm of the desired gender into the mom-to-be’s uterus via intrauterine insemination (IUI) or using the chosen sperm to fertilize an egg in vitro.

Gender Selection the Low Tech Way

If you and your partner are conceiving the old-fashioned way (i.e., without a medical professional), there are less-expensive and less-invasive ways to try gender selection. But as you might imagine, these methods are also less effective — and have not been shown to be any more successful than just letting nature take its course. Still, there’s no harm in trying.

The Shettles Method: The main theory behind this method of gender selection — which boasts a 75 percent success rate (though independent studies haven’t backed up that claim) — is that girl-producing sperm (X-sperm) move slower but are more resilient and live longer than male-producing sperm (Y-sperm), which are faster but have shorter life spans. So if you’re pining for a girl, you should have sex two to four days before you ovulate — that way the X-sperm will be the only sperm alive and waiting around in your fallopian tubes by the time your egg drops in a few days later. If you want a boy, on the other hand, you should have sex as close as possible to ovulation — since the speedy Y-sperm will be more likely to get to the egg first. There are other specifics to follow with the Shettles Method that may make the vaginal tract more inviting for either the X- or Y-sperm (like sexual positions and even whether or not the woman has an orgasm), and if you’re willing to give it a try, it certainly won’t lower your already 50-50 chances of conceiving the gender of your choice!

The Whelan Method: The Whelan Method of gender selection is pretty much the opposite of the Shettles Method — that’s science for you! It’s based on the idea that biochemical changes in a woman’s body at certain times in her cycle make it more likely that Y-sperm will fertilize an egg, while other times in her cycle, her biochemistry will favor X-sperm. So to conceive a boy, you should have sex four to six days before ovulation. And to conceive a girl, you should have sex either two to three days before ovulation or on the day of ovulation. Critics of this method say that having sex four to six days before ovulation is way too far away from the release of the egg to even get pregnant, since sperm can’t survive that long.

Gender-selection kits: There are a variety of kits available that are based on altering the conditions around the egg and sperm (by using nutritional supplements and douches) to make the vaginal tract more receptive to either the X- or Y-sperm. Most experts consider the claims of these kits to be suspect.

Gender Selection the No Tech Way

As you would imagine, old wives’ tales abound on how to conceive a boy or girl — a quick search on the Web will show you that! These methods of gender selection are not science-based and come with no guarantee. Some theories focus on nutrition. For instance, for a boy some people suggest that you indulge in red meat, potassium, and salty foods. For a girl, they say, your diet should include eggs, yogurt and chocolate! Other methods focus on sexual positions. For example, to increase your odds of having a boy, make love standing up or doggy style, and be sure to climax first. And if you want a girl, try the missionary position and let your guy reach orgasm first. Hey, it may sound kooky, but you’ll certainly have fun!

Happy baby making!

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What to Expect Before You're Expecting, 2nd edition, Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel.