Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Harsh Poetry, or Harsh Reality?

Ok so first let me start off by saying you might not like what you read. You've seen and read of me as a pretty happy person. My ramblings are usually happy or silly too jeje, but this one is quite serious.

A couple months ago I struggled with pretty severe depression, the doctors linked it with a hypothyroid problem I have. Its pretty silly really because it runs in my family, but I'm the only one that ever got depression from it. I believe the doctors were wrong, my feelings were somewhat a mixture of being bullied as a little girl and feeling self hatred.

When a child doesn't have the opportunity to vent their feelings I believe it affects them when they're older. Thankfully for me I've left that stage behind :)

Exactly one month ago I wrote a "poem" about someone who had bullied me a LOT when I was younger. I seriously felt a load of relief when I finished writing it. I saved it just to remember how much I'd been able to overcome through the years... I'd love to share it with yall if you don't mind. Now before you go on reading it please note this was my form of venting! I don't usually write things like this jejeje, I think each individual has their own form of healing. This was mine...

When I look into your eyes I see hate. I see anger, shame and bitterness, when I look at your face I feel aging rage. What did I do to deserve such rejection?

Your heart oozes out the things I've always disliked, to make it worse your soul sings a cold heartless song. Your arms bleed scarlet poison, just like the beauty of a mornings sunrise is the ugliness your shadow carries.

When you walk into a room the aroma of your hateful words creates a stench unbearable to anyone. Your lips are dry like the deserts in Africa. Not even the sweetness of honey or sugar can calm the overwhelming taste you leave in my mouth when my eyes lay hold of you.

You have become the image of ugliness to me, I do not hate you. I only wish I never knew you...

It's sometimes good to be able to vent things... especially when you do it by writing a poem or journaling. It's a lot better than keeping it inside, I know from experience. I find that writing is a great way to get it all out; when I write in my journal I usually feel a lot lighter and more cheerful, so I understand where you're coming from. Here's a big (((HUG))) for you, girl! <3

I think it's wonderful that you shared that heartfelt poem with us. As hurtful and painful as those years were I think they were necessary to shape you into the beautiful, kind, sweet and thoughtful gal you are today. Depression is a dark and lonely place to be, and I'm most glad that you've found your way through the darkness. Brave girl! :)

Thank you so much for your kind words Mrs. Melinda :) It makes me smile to know Ive been able to share this and great such awesome feedback! I know i couldn't have done it without a lot of prayer and meditation jeje <3

Morning Veronica~ would you consider adding the new 'follow by email' gadget to your blog? I'm going through and adding all of my favorite blogs so that I can both simplify my life and also guarantee I don't miss a great post! :)

About Me

My name is Veronica Grace but you can call me Gracie, I love to sit down and take in every bit of this wonderful world around me. My life is a journey full of glitter, adventures and love. You will find that I write about everything under the sun, and your most welcome to join me!