She’s wasting her time and she doesn’t even realize it. She thinks she actually has a chance with him.

She doesn’t realize she is chasing him because he keeps leaving her breadcrumbs. He doesn’t answer every single text she sends, but he answers at least half of them. He doesn’t meet up with her every single time she asks, but occasionally he will agree to grab some drinks.

He keeps giving her a little and she assumes it means a lot. She thinks it means they are on the same page, they feel the same way.

She doesn’t realize how hard she has been chasing him because she has been staring at a warped version of reality. She doesn’t think of the relationship as one-sided even though she must realize she has been the one initiating most conversations, taking the lead in every situation.

She takes his mixed signals as a sign that he cares, that he is going to come around eventually. In the meantime, he has been busy. He has been stressed. He has been scared of how much he likes her. She keeps making excuses for his behavior and the worst part is she believes them.

She doesn’t realize she has been chasing someone who doesn’t want to be caught. If he did, then he wouldn’t push her away every time they shared an intimate moment together. He wouldn’t hesitate when she brought up relationship titles or weekend plans. He wouldn’t act like he is crazy about her one day and do a complete 180 the next day.

The sad truth: He does not want a relationship right now.

The brutal truth: He does not want a relationship with her.

If he wanted to date her, then he wouldn’t be so stubborn and distant and complex. He wouldn’t tell her how much he misses her and then bail on plans the next night. He would follow through on his promises. He would rearrange his schedule to catch her in person. He would put in as much effort as she has been exerting from her side.

He wants to be chased, but he does not want to be caught. He wants to keep his options open. He wants to feel like he is desirable, but not like he is trapped.

The only reason he is encouraging her behavior is because he doesn’t want her to stop. He likes watching her fight for his affection. She has been posting attractive selfies, trying to impress him. She has been texting him, trying to get his attention. She has been bending over backward, trying to earn his love.

He doesn’t like her as much as she has hoped. He only likes the feeling of being wanted. He only likes the feeling of power.

She has been spending so much of her time chasing after him and doesn’t even realize the race is never going to end. She is never going to get him. She is only going to end up heartbroken.

“I hope you heal. I hope you find yourself again. I hope you find something that burns a fire in your soul. I hope you find the rays of sunlight even on your darkest days. I want you to know that you’re going to be okay.” — Shivani Sonawane