Archive for Flawless Saturday Question

It’s my 11-year anniversary, I was a drag queen for many hours today at a Clean house yard sale, and I was up for quite a while last night with my son.

So, you know what? Today I want YOU to ask the FSQ. That’s right! NOW is the time to ask me anything you can think of to ask. I know it’s presumptuous of me to think you’d have anything to ask me, but just in case… I’m giving you permission.

If there’s nothing you particularly need to know, just go on about your day. Or congratulate me on 11 years of marriage. Or make me a cup of coffee.

I had a read-through today for a show I’m doing next Sunday, called Listen to Your Mother. It’s a group of women (and one awesome man) reading essays they’ve written about motherhood.

I was a bit nauseous this morning and on my way to the rehearsal, nervous that strangers were about to hear me read what I had written. I was also worried that everyone’s pieces would be better than mine. Funny, smart, successful women intimidate me. Not in a way that makes me want to avoid them (thankfully), but in a way that makes me want to know what makes them tick. I sometimes feel “less than” around them. I feel like I don’t do enough with my time, that I’m not ambitious enough, that I’m not… Interesting.

So I was a bit sick to my stomach on the way there. And then I decided to turn it around before I even turned the door knob. I decided that I’m also smart and funny, even if nobody else thinks so. I decided that I was asked to be a part of this group because I have something to offer, just like the others.

I decided not to be intimidated, but to be open. It was a good decision.

These women (and one awesome man) were talented and smart and funny. And I really enjoyed meeting them and hearing their stories. I look forward to hearing them again next Sunday, and hopefully spending more time talking to them.

Smart women (and men) are awesome. And I don’t have to be intimidated. I’ve been learning that these last few years.

Since I’m in Richmond filming the Messiest Home in the Country… I figured this was a fitting question.

I used to LOVE having yard sales. I’d even make coffee and buy donuts for my customers. I hated the haggling part. I could never understand that someone would walk away from something they really wanted because I asked for 50 cents, and they wanted to pay a quarter. I always stood my ground.

I’d rather give it to charity than sell it for nothing.

Clean House has sort of taken away my ability to do yard sales, kind of in the way “Mad TV” took away my love of costumes. I wore them too much in one year to ever want to wear them again.

I LOVE the Clean House yard sales, but I take my own stuff to Goodwill.

I don’t think I’ve ever made a yard sale purchase, but I have some friends who have gotten some treasures.

I’m on a plane headed to Atlanta where I will then connect on a flight to Richmond, VA. I have a book, and I’m wearing my Uggs, leggings made of sweat pant material, a tank top, and a hoody. My iPhone is set to “airplane mode” but I’m still able to write and look at pictures of my husband and son. I’m drinking hot tea with cream and sugar.

I hate flying, so I try to have as many “comfy” things around me when I do.
At home it’s sweats, a tank top, or my robe and slippers. A mug of coffee or tea or a hot bowl of soup always make me feel good. A good book is a comfort. And, of course, a hug from my husband or son.
I’ll be without those hugs for 12 days. So a book and a mug will have to do.
What comforts you, or makes you feel comfy, warm, or snuggly?

I grew up with dogs. We always rescued them from our local shelter so I grew up knowing mutts, the best dogs in the world. (My friend Koch would disagree, as he has an extreme fondness for Pugs. So do I. And he knows how to pick ’em! But I’ll always have mutts.)

My first dog Penny, a collie mix, could say “I love you” if you asked her to.

Shadow was a white dog with a black face, an Australian Shepherd mix, who hid among my 119 stuffed animals, looked at me with all the understanding in the world, coddled me when I cried and cocked her head disapprovingly when I was mouthy to my parents. The day we had to put her down, my dad cried like a baby. We had a big family meeting about mourning and love and loss.

Max was a Labrador mix who pushed his head against the front of his cage when we saw him at the shelter. He didn’t move a muscle, just followed us with his eyes every time we walked past. We knew he was ours immediately. Day one, he was part of the family. Sitting on our laps, thinking he was much smaller than he was, barking loudly at anyone who dared to knock at the door then wagging his tail wildly when they entered. He was our best friend. He sat with my grandma for HOURS on end as she pet his head and drank a cocktail. He matched our emotions, made us laugh, and licked our tears. He was an unbelievable pet.

Russ and I got Bogie at the pound seven years ago when he was four months old. He was our first baby. We showed pictures of him to our friends and family, we held him in our arms, we spoke to him in high-pitched voices and applauded all of his tricks. The night we brought Garrett home from the hospital, he woke up crying in his bassinet around 1:00 AM. Bogie, who was on the bed as usual, let out a sigh that said it all. It was a loud, long, human sigh that made Russ and I laugh our asses off.

For a while there, Bogie took a big back seat around here. It was hard to give him anywhere near the attention he had gotten in the past. But it never made him love Garrett less, and he took his hits gracefully. Now that we’ve had several years and Garrett is way more independent, we’ve been able to give Bogie his due again. He and G are playmates and they love each other. We go for long family walks, and we have a blast.

Of course, Bogie is still a pet. If we go on vacation, Garrett comes with us and Bogie stays home. But we know what Bogie means to this family. He’s part of what makes this house a home. He is unwavering in his love and devotion. He is part of the glue that makes us stick. We adore him. And I’m so glad G is growing up with a dog to love.

So what about you? Do you have, or have you had, any special pets?

*UPDATE*

Mere moments after posting, Bogart barfed all over the couch and carpet. I SWEAR!!!! It took Russ and I 25 minutes to clean it all up and it took everything in me to not delete this post. Dumb dog. 😉

Sometimes I want to sit down at my laptop, type “Flawless Saturday Question” in the title box, and have this be the post:

What’s your favorite color?

I mean, you’d have an answer, right? You’d either say, “Blue” or “Red” or my personal favorite… “Orange”. Yes, I really like orange. And it’d be an actual question. But it wouldn’t really get you thinking. It wouldn’t inspire you or make you smile. It might make you laugh and say, “Oh, Lisa. You’re so silly!” Which in some ways is good enough. But I like making you think.

So how about this instead:

What’s your favorite recent purchase?

Oooh, yeah baby! That’ll get you thinking!! I mean that is INSPIRING!! Well, it’s a question. So shut it.

Yesterday I took G to the toy store at the mall after school because he had Christmas money left over from Grandma Farm. He’s been fantastic at keeping his side of our deals lately, so I thought he deserved a new toy (that was technically already paid for by someone else, if you see where I’m going.)

We spent over an hour at the store. He checked out every single item. Every wind-up toy. Every sticker book. Every dinosaur and shark. Every puzzle. Every instrument. I was excited when he was leaning toward the cat-piano-thingy. But then he kept looking.

He ended up in the super-hero aisle and he laid his eyes on the one bit of Iron Man paraphernalia he didn’t yet own. It’s a giant helmet that lights-up and talks. He wanted it.

“Garrett, come on! You have so much Iron Man stuff!”

“I want this.”

“What about the piano?”

“I want this.”

I asked him about thirty more times. His mind was made up. We were spending his money, not mine. He got it. (And I had a coupon!)

Well, he loves it. And he’s excited about it. And I’m very happy for him. I haven’t bought myself anything in a helluva long time, so I thought this story was the most apropos. So let me live vicariously through YOU, dear Reader, as you tell me what you’ve bought yourself recently that you just absolutely love. And talk slowly. I want every detail.

There’s a whole lot of nasty crap going on in the world right now, isn’t there? It’s honestly hard to be optimistic or joyful about things at this point in time. That’s why I thought it would be good to reflect on a moment, a short burst of happiness that you’ve had in the last few days, that maybe you could call on when you’re feeling like times are too dark.

Thursday night I had one of those moments. I decided that day to cook a meal of entirely new recipes I hadn’t tried. I logged on to Weelicious.com, where I always seem to get inspiration for meals my husband and son would enjoy. I decided to make crepes, which had always intimidated me in the past. I also made hummus and waldorf salad. The crepes were a blast to make, and very easy to flip over. I made 12 of them and stuffed some with salami and cheddar cheese, sort of a pizza-crepe-calzone. I stuffed the others with chicken and feta cheese. I served them with the salad and hummus and we had such a good time eating it all.

At one point I looked over and my son and my husband enjoying the food I had just made, and I felt joyful down to my bones. Garrett said several times how much he liked the pizza crepes and Russ said how much he liked all of it. I liked it all, too!

I used to have daydreams about feeding my husband and kid, laughing around the dinner table, and being asked for seconds and thirds. So, I guess you could say that night was a dream come true. It’s one of those moments I can pull up into my mind whenever I need a smile.

I think in times like these, it’s the little things that matter most: family, friends, laughter, a good meal, hugs, kisses and silliness. (Wait, those are actually the BIG things, aren’t they?)

I want to hear about a happy moment from you. And if you don’t have one, please try to create one soon. It’s good for what ails you. 🙂

What is something that, no matter what, brings you back to your childhood? A taste? A smell? A place? What makes you immediately feel 10 years old?

Two things converged tonight to bring me back to my childhood. First, the weather. Day Light Savings Time is here and the San Fernando Valley couldn’t be more perfect in my eyes. Every year at this time I whoosh back to when I was a kid. Longer days, sunshine, and just a feeling of well being. I love this time of year so much, and there’s something about it that makes me feel like a kid again.

The other thing was unexpected. It was my friend’s birthday dinner and we had chocolate cupcakes with her favorite frosting, which I learned (from her best friend) is Rainbow Chip Frosting. I THOUGHT I had never had it before, but one bite brought me back to slumber parties in elementary school. It’s such a wild feeling to have that recognition with something you weren’t expecting to know at all!

So, what brings you back? And if it’s something easy to get that makes you feel young again… Go out and get it. Now!

One last thing. I’m thinking about the people in Japan, and I’m sure you are too. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10.

We all have those times when we just need to get away, whether it’s for an hour or a weekend. Last week I was lucky enough to spend two hours at a spa for a massage and a cat nap. That was pretty dang great. But on a daily, more realistic basis, I tend to steal a moment here and there to recharge.

Sometimes I’ll come home for a second (or third) cup of coffee after dropping G off to school. The ten minutes I take to sit, have some joe, and relax are often just the thing I need to start my official day.

I find lately that my most favorite “me-time” is when I take a half hour to exercise. Whether it’s running with our dog, Bogie or boxing and hula-hooping on Wii Fit, or doing Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred DVD… Taking that time for myself has become an almost imperative part of my day. Since I’ve been doing it, I’ve gotten more done during the day than I ever have before. It’s made me far mor productive, less tired, and a lot more motivated to get things done. I’m even waking up more refreshed.

I never thought I’d be one of those people who “need” to exercise, but I am now. And the gift of giving myself that time, and all that extra energy, has been priceless.

And one more favorite way I have to take a little time to pamper myself is something I used to do ALL the time, but now it’s very rare: take myself out to lunch. It’s such a luxury to sit with a book or magazine, order what you want, sip some tea or coffee and eat. And breathe. I’d like to do it a little more often, but I’ll take it when I can get it.

So.. What is your favorite and most effective way to recharge your batteries? (You might be giving others a great idea, so please share!!!!)

I can’t stand thoughtless people. Whether it’s in the car, a store or a Starbucks, I think thoughtless people make me angrier than anything else. (I mean, besides useless violence and tyrannical governments.)

I feel like people are getting more and more consciously thoughtless. I used to frequently think that people were just rude sometimes without meaning to be. Maybe they were just busy, or had something on their minds, or were in the middle of something awful. And I do think that happens sometimes. But I think that, more often than not, people are PURPOSELY thoughtless, self-involved, and just plain rude. And it makes my blood boil. Here are the main offenders:

People who speed up when you put your blinker on, just so you can’t get over.

People who drive in the bicycle lane so they can pass you on the right when the light turns green.

People who cut in line. Anywhere.

People who walk by others who obviously need help.

People who don’t open doors for others.

People who don’t thank you for letting them in front of you in traffic, holding a door open, or stopping to help.

Last week I was making a left and, as the light was turning yellow, the guy behind me honked so loud it scared the crap out of me. Had I made the left when he honked, I would have been hit by the truck that ran the red light coming toward me. I knew he wasn’t stopping, which is why I didn’t turn. I was angry for at least two hours after that. The guy cared far more about his life than he did about anything else, even the possibility of someone doing something very dangerous. Pure thoughtlessness. When it happened, my heart was pumping so fast, I was sweating, and I screamed at him at the top of my lungs. It took everything in me to not follow him.

I am making it a huge priority to do little niceties for people every day. I am trying to let more people in in traffic, I’m smiling more often at people who look like they need a smile, I’m making sure to hold the door open for people. Yesterday I let someone in front of me in line at the grocery store because he only had a few items. He was so grateful, and it was such an insignificant gesture. He must have thanked me seven times. And I bet he did something nice for someone else. I really do believe that if we can all take the time to be a little kinder, it could make a difference in the world. Maybe I’m stupid. But I’d rather be stupid than thoughtless.