Enter your email address if you'd like to be notified when this
site is updated.

First Days Back Home -- January 12, 2003

It's so nice to be a family together again but it's also overwhelming to think about the enormity of the task that we have taken on having Sam at home. Sam has come home from the NICU on both an apnea monitor and continuous oxygen.

The apnea monitor is not a problem: it's lightweight and comes in a convenient carrying case. The oxygen is a major pain in the a$$, though. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may never leave the house again. Sam actually does okay without the oxygen as long as he's calm, asleep... and breathing. We took him off of it for a little while tonight so he could explore some new areas of the house, but at one point something really pissed him off and he started crying and holding his breath. Jackson used to do this breath holding as a newborn, but Sam takes it to new heights (or deeper shades of purple). So back he went on the oxygen and into his corner of the family room.

had i not crested each wave of labor to your glorious
emergence
had i not been there for your debut
i would have thought you were dropped from heaven
your body damaged in the fall
but your spirit whole — big, beautiful and pure

never imagining my love to be so complete and selfless
not expecting my fierce desire to make your little body able
and perfect
or my fear to change anything
lest my meddling somehow diminish your beauty