A Comprehensive Catalog of R. Kelly’s Sexual Metaphors

R. Kelly stares deep into his mind's eye, imagining his next lyrical ode to the pleasures of sex.

Photos by Getty Images, Reuters

R. Kelly, the man behind “I Like the Crotch on You” and “Marry the Pussy,” does not mind being straightforward. But he also has a deep, abiding love of metaphor, simile, personification, analogy, and other forms of figurative language—something that’s been evident since his debut album, on which he crooned, “Like Flintstones, we’ll have a yabba dabba doo.” Over the course of his 20-plus year career, his lyrics have only grown more distinctive.

With the impending arrival of his new album, Black Panties—which, as Flavorwire’sTom Hawking points out, overflows with Kelly’s particular lyrical gifts—we’ve compiled a handy guide to some of the most imaginative figuative language Kelly has used to describe the physical act of love. For the sake of time and space, you’ll find nothing here from Trapped in the Closet. But we have attempted to comb through all his many albums and hit singles, including collaborations with other artists.

Flashlight“I need a flashlight’cause I’m deep up in that pussy” (“Parachute”)

The Flintstones“I'll turn you on like a neon light, make everything alright/ Like in the middle of the night/ Yo when you need somebody to love you/ Like Flintstones we'll have a yabba dabba doo/ Kiss and caress you and hold you” (“She’s Got That Vibe”)

Football Coach“You must be a football coach/ The way you got me playin' the field” (“Ignition (Remix)”)

Oreos"Girl you know you got that good, yeah/ Like an Oreo/ I love to lick the middle like an Oreo (turn up)/ Oreo, Oreo, like an Oreo/ I wanna bite it and get inside it ’til I get you gone/ Like an Oreo” (“Cookie”)