Before we talk about this Strawberry Cinnamon Roll Cake recipe, let’s talk about something serious. #Youshouldbeusedtothatbynow

This week, April 19-26, 2015, is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). Many of you may have read my infertility story (and thank you for reading!) but I wanted to bring to light NIAW because infertility is still a topic that is close to my heart. You see, infertility never goes away. It’s always there with you, lurking behind the scenes.

We are so lucky to have been blessed with our daughter, just over 10 years ago. But just because we had a happy ending doesn’t mean it’s not still there, close by. I think about our story and our choices often. Every time IVF makes the news, I think about it. Every time a friend gets pregnant, my infertility is there, waiting to remind me of it’s existence.

I think that many people who go through the infertility process make peace with their choices. We have made peace with our choice to only have one child. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about the babies I won’t have. I think about them often.

Whenever I look at Jordan and think about the fact that, when we get old, she’ll be taking care of us alone without sibling support, I think about them.

Whenever my daughter speaks out loud what she’s thinking inside and says, her voice full of longing, “I wish I had a sister,” I think about the sister I didn’t give her and my heart breaks a little.

Infertility is like a wound: it scabs over but it never heals, not completely.

When I began my journey 12 years ago, I was young. I was living in a completely new state at the time and none of the women I knew were married, let alone having babies. When we realized there would be problems with conceiving, I felt like I was all alone. No one else knew what I was going through. No one else cringed every single time a friend ended up pregnant or someone asked “when are you going to have kids already???!!!”

But I wasn’t alone. That’s the dirty little secret of the journey of infertility. You’re not alone: 1 in 8 women will experience some form of infertility. Look around you. You probably know more than 8 women. How many of them have suffered along this road? Many of them in suffer in silence for fear of the dumb things people say or because they’re private people, or because they think no one understands.

Luckily, I’m not one of those private people. I’ll tell anyone who will listen about my experience. Ask me about my “other kids” on a day where I’m in a vulnerable (read: bitchy) mood and you’ll hear more about vasectomies that you ever wanted to know.

The theme this year for NIAW is You are not alone. I wanted to talk about this today because that statement is the single most important thing you need to realize when you’re going through infertility. You are not alone. If you’re feeling like you have no one to talk to about your journey; if you’re struggling with the emotional weight of this alone, don’t. First of all, I’m here. You have me. Chances are, there are other women you know too. And if you don’t know anyone else, RESOLVE is there for you. RESOLVE helped me so much 12 years ago. I went to monthly dinners with 15 women in various stages of infertility. It was exactly what I needed to get me through the process.

Maybe someday the babies I didn’t have will stop haunting my dreams. Until then, I’ll just write prose on the internet and talk to my several friends who’ve been through it. What a difference a decade makes.

Lets Talk About This GIANT Strawberry Cinnamon Roll Cake

And now? Now we can talk about the most awesome cinnamon roll ever. It’s a GIANT cinnamon roll cake. With fresh strawberries inside!

I first saw a giant cinnamon roll cake on my friend Heather’s blog. I immediately filed that in my memory and thought, someday I want to make one of those babies.

Decision made: A Giant Strawberry Cinnamon Roll that looks like a cake.

This Strawberry Cinnamon Roll Cake is one of those desserts people look at and think they are really complicated, but it’s not. It’s SO EASY, I promise. I’m even going to show you how easy it is:

You start with your basic cinnamon roll recipe. I made the normal cinnamon brown sugar filling, but then I added fresh chopped strawberries. I tossed the berries with sugar and cornstarch to make sure they didn’t become a wet mess all over the dough, so don’t skip that step!

Roll up the dough like normal. At this point you can make these into Strawberry Cinnamon Rolls and cut the log into 9 or 12 pieces and bake them like any cinnamon roll. Or, you can continue the process below and make a cake!

Slice the log in two. Isn’t it pretty?

Then grease a 9″ round cake pan. Use the kind of spray with flour, if you have it, especially if you plan to remove it to a serving platter.

Then spiral your half-logs into the pan. Roll one half into a tight spiral. Place it in the center of the pan.

Wrap the second half around the edge and pinch it to meet (see the bottom left of that pan picture).

Note on rising time: normally, with this recipe, I do all this work, then put the pan in the refrigerator overnight so I don’t have to get up at 4am to make the whole thing. I did NOT do the overnight step because I was worried that the strawberries would weep too much, causing the cinnamon roll to stick to the pan when it’s baked. You are welcome to do the overnight rise – I’ve done that with blueberry rolls before and it worked okay, but they did weep.

What you can do, if you don’t want to do all the work the day of, is get to the rising step BEFORE you roll out the dough and fill it, and chill that. Just place the bowl of rising dough in the fridge after it’s risen, then proceed with rolling filling and spiraling in the morning.

Ingredients

For the Dough:

3/4cupwarm non-fat milk— heated to about 120 degrees, about 45-60 seconds in the microwave

1/3cup+ 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar— divided

3tablespoonsunsalted butter— softened

1/2teaspoonsalt

1egg

3 - 3 1/4cupsall-purpose flour— plus more for dusting

Paddle attachment & dough hook for your mixer

For the Filling:

5tablespoonsbutter— softened

2/3cupbrown sugar

1tablespooncinnamon

2tablespoonsflour

1/4teaspoonsalt

1 1/2cupsdiced fresh strawberries— about 3/4 pound

1tablespooncornstarch

1teaspoonsugar

For the Frosting

2tablespoonsbutter— melted

2ouncescream cheese— very soft

1 1/2cupspowdered sugar

Pinchsalt

1teaspoonvanilla extract

2-4teaspoonsfresh lemon juice or milk

Instructions

Make the Dough:

Place milk in a microwave safe measuring cup. Heat for 45-60 seconds in the microwave, until it’s about 120°F. (The time you heat it will need to be adjusted depending on your microwave. You can use a candy or a meat thermometer to test the temperature.) Add yeast and 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar and stir. Let it sit for a few minutes.

Place 1/3 cup granulated sugar, butter, salt, and egg in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix until the butter is distributed throughout the liquids, although it may be chunky. Pour in the milk/yeast mixture and stir for a few seconds.

Add flour and stir with the paddle attachment just until the mixture starts to stick to the paddle. Then replace the paddle with the dough hook. Continue mixing on low speed until the dough forms a ball in the center of the bowl. If dough is still very sticky, you can add an additional 1/4 cup of flour.

Spray a large bowl with cooking spray and place the dough ball in it. Spray the top of the dough ball with cooking spray (lightly) and cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Let sit for 2-4 hours until it doubles in size. Note on rising: if your house is warm, it should rise no problem. If it’s cold in your house, it may take longer for the dough to rise.

Prepare your Rolls:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray a 9” round cake pan with the cooking spray with flour.

Stir together butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, and flour until it forms a paste.

Once the dough is risen, roll it out on a lightly floured surface into a large rectangle, about 10” by 14”. Sprinkle the filling evenly over the top and then spread it as evenly as possible over the rectangle, making sure to reach to the sides so the outer rolls have enough filling.

Stir diced strawberries with cornstarch and sugar. Sprinkle over filling.

Roll the dough up tightly from the long end. Slice the roll into two long halves, split open. Roll one into a tight spiral and place in the center of your pan. Wrap the other half around the spiral filling the edges of the pan and stretch it so the ends meet. Bake for 30-35 minutes until golden brown.

Alternately, you can slice it into 9-12 equal rounds. Place the rolls into a 9” pan for 9 rolls or a 9x13” pan for 12 rolls. Bake 23-28 minutes until they are golden brown on top.

Make the frosting:

Whisk the melted butter and softened cream cheese until mostly smooth. If your cream cheese is too stiff, you can use a hand mixer. Whisk/beat in powdered sugar, vanilla extract and 2 teaspoons lemon juice or milk, adding more as desired for thickness. Pour over warm rolls and serve.

Thanks, Dorothy, for sharing your story. You’re amazing women! And this cake is just beautiful and soon delicious!

Thank you Shinee!

I had no idea that this week was National Infertility Awareness Wee, I too suffer from infertility issues. I wish that I could reach through and hug you although I know that won’t even begin to ease the pain.

Thanks Glory!!

Wow Dorothy, This looks over-the-top delicious!

I have missed you, Dorothy, and your stories and your sharing and your ridiculously insane desserts/breakfasts mascarading as desserts. I am as impressed as always with your willingness to share your personal stories so that other women know that they are not alone. I think that is so important. My heart is filled with love for you and your family. Jordan is so lucky. So, so lucky. xo

Thank you Lindsey! xoxo

Thanks for sharing your personal and emotional thoughts on the topic of infertility Dorothy. You will bring a lot of awareness to the topic through your blog and I thank you for that. This strawberry cinnamon roll is epic!

Thank you!

Hugs girl! You are so SO brave an I am so SO proud of you. You help so many women who are dealing with the same struggles when you open yourself and your life up like this. You are a beautiful and amazing woman with the most stellar kid a girl could ask for.

And this cinnamon roll cake. I was in awe of Heather’s and put that on my to-do list too. It just got bumped up a few spots 😉 Love this! Perfect for Mother’s Day!

This is such an important read — thank you for bravely sharing your story. I have so many friends who have similar stories and it breaks my heart. I believe in God and His plan but one thing I will NEVER understand is why so many women who would be amazing moms can’t get pregnant when it’s the only thing they truly want. And then for others, it’s so easy. Definitely sharing your this.

PS: This cake! It goes without saying that it is amazing!!!

Thanks for being so open about your struggles with infertility. Too many women feel less feminine because of it, but if more were brave enough to share, it wouldn’t be such a hush-hush topic. Blogging is a great platform to share these experiences with others who don’t have such an outlet. Please continue to speak up! And btw, this cake is ridiculously awesome! 😉

You are such an inspiration girl!!! I know this wasn’t easy, but I know this post is going to help so many ladies that struggle with infertility! I love how honest and raw you are when you write! Sending you major hugs across the miles! I puffy heart love you! And this cinnamon roll cake has been on my list of things to make too!!! It is absolutely amazing looking!!!

Props to you for sharing such a personal story! HUGS!!!! And this cake looks amazing!

Thank you Ashley!

You are truly amazing and I admire you so much for always be so open and honest. Jordan is so lucky to have such an incredible mom but I know she is equally as wonderful too! I love that you are bringing awareness to this because it will be helping so many women. xo!

Thank you Kelly!

It took me a little while to get up the nerve to read this. I knew what you were talking about and having struggled with it too, sometimes it is hard to deal. Just like you, my “issue” is that my daughter is an only child. I was an only and swore I would never have an “only”. Well, life did not really give me a choice. I heard my own words echoed in this post and am so glad I read it. You helped to displace the guilt. The next time someone tells me I should do more at school because I only have one child, I am going to refer them to this post!

Oh my gosh Christie, people are such jerks. I hate when people talk like that and I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with it too. Sometimes I want to make a t-shirt that says “ask me why I only have one kid and I’ll tell you about my husband’s vasectomy” just so they shut up. I’m sending you hugs. <3 Thank you for reading and sharing!