Sunday, March 29, 2009

My UKIP 'Hidden Agenda'

So, Stuart Wheeler has been summarily shown the door by the Conservative Party. Good. Actions have consequences, as Mr Wheeler (as he will now forever remain!) must have known. No responsible political party could have allowed one of its donors to give a large amount of money to a rival political party and turned a blind eye.

But apparently, I have a hidden agenda in all of this. It seems I called for him to be expelled so I could help UKIP survive. Obvious, innit. Well, that's what a site called Political Gossip reckons...

We understand that Iain Dale is callling for Stuart Wheeler to be 'kicked out' of the Tory Party for his 'treason'. Mmmmmm. Iain Dale knows full well that all this is likely to achieve, is the driving of Mr Wheeler into the hands of UKIP - the Leader of which is a 'close friend' of Iain Dale. After all, we were all confused in this office at Mr Dale's effusive comments towards Nigel Farage - but we understand that a few meals and drinks together have placed these 2 individuals at a different 'operating level'. According to a Nigel Farage critic, 'Nigel was never fussy about the company he kept'.

Hilarious. Yes, Nigel Farage is a really close friend of mine. So close that I have met him all of, let me see, yes, three times. And on none of the occasions did either of us have a meal or a drink. I'm sure that we'll put that right soon though. Cos we're bosom buddies, don'tcha know.

A few days ago someone quite well known texted me saying: "I read the papers and read about this person with my name, who is a complete stranger to me." With the reaction to my shortlisting for the Orwell Prize and this sort of thing, I am beginning to know how they feel.

Iain Dale would seem to have more than a reasonable interest in the well being of Farage. Could the stridency of Iain Dale's dismissal of Stuart Wheeler be founded on Jealousy or spite? Clearly Iain Dale seeks to damage The Tories in the long run and is seeking to push Stuart Wheeler into the arms of Farage - I would presume that foolish as Stuart Wheeler may be with his petty cash he is not as dumb as Iain Dale would wish him to be to comply with his underhand behaviour.

I think I need to lie down. Just wait till they read my GQ profile of Farage, which is out next week. That should really set the conspiracy theorists away with the fairies.

23 comments:

Tim Ireland has no doubt just stained his shorts with a white sticky substance in anticipation of the inspiration he is about to receive on this through that somewhat shabby looking tin foil hat of his.

After Poll's attempted fudge of Jacquie's porn and nulab sleaze generally - and then her slur on old Wheeler (which you tore down nobly, btw), and now U-KIPPERS up in arms (or is that fins), I wonder how you manage to stay sane.

The Conservatives have never apologised for taking the UK into the EU and they are in a permanent state of denial about it.Rather than admit their mistake they attack the only party that promises withdrawal from the mess they got us in.In psychological terms this is known as 'projection' and one if its most accomplished exponents is of course none other than Mr Dale himself.

Thanks, Iain, if it was you got Wheeler chucked out, we will welcome him with open arms at UKIP, and all the other Tories pissed off with your spineless leader.

But I don't see conspiracy here, just incompetance. Of course, if you chuck Wheeler out, he will come where his money is more welcome. You are just too dim to work that out for yourself from first principles.

I don't think you do eat and drink with Nigel Farage, he's a bit fussier about who he sits down with than to break bread with Tory eurowets.

Anyway, for whatever reason you said it, we thank you from the bottom of Independent hearts.. and for the record, I'm happy to buy you a drink anytime, now we have exclusive access to Mr Wheeler's donations from now on.