Man Honors Veterans by Getting Hammered

CHARLES TOWN WV – Local man Michael Landerson honored America’s veterans, both living and dead, by getting completely drunk to the point of vomiting at a friend’s barbecue yesterday afternoon.

“Pass me the beers!” exclaimed Landerson while arriving at his friend’s barbecue to honor and respect the sacrifice that countless men and women have made to give him the right to work, pray, live, and pursue happiness as he sees fit.

“Don’t even think about doing shots without me!” Landerson called out as American soldiers overseas are presently separated from their families protecting America’s interests so that Landerson’s odds of dying from terrorism can be decreased.

While meeting a veteran at the barbeque, Landerson drunkenly told the World War II veteran who saw his best friend killed by a Nazi solider that “I’m grabbing some beers to drink with this God-damn hero right here” as he tripped over a bench on his way to the cooler.

The barbecue came to an end at 7:12 p.m., as Landerson shouted “Fuck yea, USA!” before throwing up and passing out, prompting everyone to call it a night and leave Landerson in his filth.