I do.

I recently celebrated my 16th year wedding anniversary. We were thankful to grab a quick lunch together while the kids were in school and that was the extent of our celebration. I’m not upset, on the contrary. It was sooooo nice to be able to actually taste and chew before swallowing my meal. Usually I practice the inhalation method and hope I don’t aspirate anything! We were able to speak uninterrupted and finish our meal without taking someone to the public restroom to “poo.” Nothing is worse that to receive your hot, delish meal only to hear the dreaded “I have to POOP!!” followed by (or at times preceeding the verbal declaration) some foul butt gas. At this stage in the game it is the youngest who bellows out these plagued words but we’ve had our share of poop duty from the other two as well.

Anyway, here is what I Do brought me these past 16 years:

Toxic farts on a nuclear level powerful enough to cause a collapsed lung

Rat piles of clothing heaped in various corners of the house

Pubic hairs all over the bathroom

Happiness

Tooth paste smeared in places I didn’t know existed within the sink

Dishes and cups left conveniently in front of the TV

Teasing

Laundry out the you-know-what

A television monopoly

Joy

Someone to keep me warm at night

Earth shattering snores (not from me either)

Football and every sport imaginable…some he actually has to participate in

Flirting

Stuff, usually mine, mysteriously moved, misplaced and even lost

A best friend

A level headed listener with God given wisdom and insight

Bob Villa – really the Donnie man can fix or “Jerry rig” anything!

Beautiful children

Freedom

Comfort

Security in knowing that at any given moment a gun will be loaded and fired dead on the mark should the need arise