A few juicy facts about Kyrgyzstan

Published 3:27 pm, Thursday, August 7, 2014

I just dropped Tracy off. We got up very early for us, 4:30. There was substantial traffic on the Bay Bridge at 5 in the morning. We got to the airport on time because I always build in a cushion. Tracy likes to wing it, arriving as late as possible, but she allows me to get her there early.

She's going to Kyrgyzstan, which I only recently learned to spell. She likes adventure; she courts adventure. I've been on a few adventures with her: trekking the Himalayas, taking a converted research vessel from Argentina to the Antarctic.

But sometimes I don't go. She went to Borneo and had such a bad experience on a river trip that she got a book out of it. She almost drowned, which was one of two times she's almost drowned. Mostly she's fine, because mostly everyone is fine - these trips happen all the time.

Ah, Kyrgyzstan. The mountains are recommended; quite high, quite beautiful. That's where she's going, on a trek, half hiking, half riding in Land Cruisers. She's with a group. They will be sleeping in yurts, six people to a yurt. They'll eat a lot of mystery meat.

I did not want to sleep in a yurt. I did not want to spend time in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. It's apparently a Soviet-era hellhole. One cannot really sightsee in Bishkek, as it has no sights. I'm not up to privation anymore. So I am meeting her afterward in Istanbul. We will not be sleeping in yurts.

Naturally, I am somewhat concerned about Kyrgyzstan. I turned to the Internet to calm my nerves. Fear grows in a vacuum. I will be armed with knowledge; it will conquer my fear.

The roads in Kyrgyzstan are very bad. Here's a quote from Wikitravel. "Driving in Kyrgyzstan is by Western standards dangerous. ... Interesting usage of main and large roads: If your side is too damaged to drive fast then is quite normal to use the other side of the road." Oncoming! But of course Tracy will not be driving; experienced people will be driving. Or so we assume.

On the other hand: It's an exploratory trip. The travel company has never done it before, although it does operate some other tours there. The trip to Borneo was an exploratory trip, too. It's cheaper to go on an exploratory trip.

It would be even cheaper not to go. Do I say that? No, that battle was lost long ago. She aches to know the unknown. It's an admirable trait, but it does have its downsides.

Kyrgyzstan is bordered by Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and China. Now you know exactly where it is, right? It was a Soviet state for a while, and suffered greatly when the Russians left. It is now the second-poorest country in Asia. There's an American air base there now; the rent was recently raised to $60 million a year.

Here's another quote: "Despite Kyrgyzstan's struggle for political stabilization among ethnic conflicts, revolts, economic troubles, transitional governments, and political party conflicts, it maintains a unitary parliamentary republic." So perhaps not that stable a government. On the other hand: no revolutionaries in sight.

That we know of.

Just like the Carroll family in Ireland, Kyrgyzstan reached its peak in the ninth century. The legendary leader Manas united the 40 clans to fight the Uighurs. The clans won, and the nation of Kyrgyzstan was born. Kyrgyzstan means "Land of 40 Tribes," say experts. Let me guess: This is all news to you.

Kyrgyzstan has been absorbed by many empires over its history. The Mongols ruled for a while, then the Chinese, then the Uzbeks. After Russia, the people of Kyrgyzstan were pretty much left to their own devices. There is some tourism, but it's not a staple of the economy.

Then there's this: "Very popular, as in all of Central Asia, is Ulak Tartysh, a team game resembling a cross between polo and rugby in which two teams of riders wrestle for possession of the headless carcass of a goat, which they attempt to deliver across the opposition's goal line, or into the opposition's goal: a big tub or a circle marked on the ground."

So that's fun.

Plus: "Kyz Kuumai - a man chases a girl in order to win a kiss from her, while she gallops away; if he is not successful she may in turn chase him and attempt to beat him with her 'kamchi' (horsewhip)."

The people of Kyrgyzstan eat a lot of horse meat and a lot of mutton. Vegetables: not so much. There's something called besh barmak, a soupy meat-based dish that is apportioned to diners according to their social status. Honored guests are given the eyes and the brain.

I will be subsisting mainly on deli food. I will have no stories to tell. I got some nice lox today; that is my anecdote.

OK, I'm going back to bed. When there is news, you'll be the third to hear it.

So she's doing it again, off to a distant place on a whim - a whim of steel.

"I've seen hatters before," she said to herself: "the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps, as this is May, it won't be jcarroll@sfchronicle.com.

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