Review: Wolverine XXX: An Axel Braun Parody

The funny thing about Wolverine XXX: An Axel Braun Parody is that it’s not so much a parody of a Wolverine movie or TV show, but rather of the original source comic itself. The framework storyline is straight out of a comic in terms of length and some of the shot compositions look like they belong in a comic panel. Also, it features guest spots by Spider-Man (Xander Corvus) and Nick Fury (Lexington Steele), as well as a final panel cliffhanger. Everybody’s in their classic comic get-ups, like a fantasy cosplay session come to life. I half expected to see some old ads for sea monkeys and get a no-prize for watching.

In case you haven’t been paying attention the last couple of years, XXX porn parodies have dominated the industry, and been a big factor in the continued success of professional porn as amateur and free porn continue to encroach on the internet. They’ve usually been very slickly (not talking the sex parts) produced, with a keen awareness of their subject matter, nods to trends, in jokes and the like. And thanks to digital cameras and affordable special effects that don’t look like something rendered on a video toaster, they generally come out overall looking pretty damn good. Vivid Entertainment and director Axel Braun have been at the forefront of this. Braun has done everything from a Star Wars parody, to a Batman parody to a Man of Steel parody.

Braun’s Wolverine parody here isn’t as grandiose as his parody for Star Wars. It also doesn’t follow the story of The Wolverine, although it does have a flashback to a scene taken from the same Wolverine mini-series that that movie sourced. This is more of a standalone tale that draws from classic relationships that Wolverine had with various X-Men and his old Weapon X “buddies” like Sabretooth, Lady Deathstrike and Deadpool. Mix in various X-babes like Domino, Rogue and Jean Grey, along with a tagalong from Spidey and you have your movie.

The story finds Wolverine (Tommy Gunn) helping Domino (Aiden Ashley) out on a mission to find and capture Sabretooth (Evan Stone), who had been spotted at the Weapon X facility. Spider-Man happened along and invited himself. While en route, Wolverine thinks back to Japan and his time with Mariko, (Asa Akira), whom he was set to marry until she was murdered. At the Weapon X facility, Sabretooth, Deathstrike (Maya Hills) and Deadpool (Derrick Pierce) are waiting for them to arrive so they can finally kill Wolverine. Rogue (Allie Haze) also shows up to lend a hand (two actually, and various other goodies). Enemies meet, there’s some fighting, some fornication, and an ulterior motive for the whole thing is revealed. This includes a certain offspring that I’m sure those familiar with the whole Wolverine landscape will be able to guess. It’s all very comic bookish (by design), but nicely pulled off.

Considering that Hugh Jackman has upped the bar on the Logan physique, the muscular Tommy Gunn was a good choice with whom to go to sport the claws. His portrayal of Logan is earnest with just a bit of ham and when not in uniform, he has more than a passing resemblance to Jackman’s Wolverine. Despite that, even he can’t pull off not looking silly in the full-on Wolverine yellow spandex. It’s simply too shitty an outfit to work outside of the comic book page. But I tell you what: if the X-Men ladies walked around the X-Mansion in those tight outfits all the time in the comics, that place had to have been the New York chapter of Sodom and Gomorrah. Other standout performances in the parody for me were Aiden Ashley as Domino and Derrick Pierce as Deadpool.

The sex scenes break down like this:

Wolverine and Domino – 17 minutes

Mariko and a handmaiden (Charmane Star) – 19 minutes

Sabretooth and Lady Deathstrike – 17 minutes

Rogue, Deadpool and Spider-Man – 15 minutes

Wolverine and Jean Grey (Andy San Dimas) – 15 minutes

By now, Braun and his troupe of regulars have got these parodies down to a science. Wolverine XXX has suitably sharp writing and characterization and never tries to overextend itself (namely, a key fight between Wolverine and Sabretooth is handled smartly). Non-sex stuff is only 20-ish minutes out of a 104-minute movie. Vivid has been riding the formula of these parodies like a (silver) surf board for a while and there’s no reason to think that’s going to stop anytime soon.

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