Rapacious marauding gang of horned miscreants ate every single tulip shoot clean to the ground, even dressed as they were with deer repellent. They even took a chunk out of an iris plant, which they supposedly don’t eat. (They obviously didn’t like them, because they left the hundred or so others alone). And they’re terrible guests: they pooped on my lawn and stepped on my flower beds, leaving giant hoof marks and knocking my carefully collected reclaimed brick all over the place.

I’m all about letting nature take its course, but it’s not natural for deer not to have a natural predator. And while I’m mad enough that I kinda wouldn’t mind seeing a pack of wolves take down this ravenous bunch, I’m open to more humane (and suburb-friendly) solutions.