A shaggy dog story, in a comic vein

The artist said to me, “You know, now that Marvel is rebooting the X-Men movie franchise, you’d be the perfect actor to play Hank McCoy.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Well, you’re a rather squat and stocky individual, yet quite graceful and agile,” the artist said. “You’re also intellectual and erudite, as is Hank.”

Although flattered, I demurred. “They’d never cast a little-known voice actor in such a prominent role in a big-budget, live-action property,” I said. “That’s why Kelsey Grammer got the role in X-Men: The Last Stand.”

“Nevertheless,” reiterated the cartoonist, “if I were directing the next X-Men film, I’d cast you as Hank.”