A Lot of Layers

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I know I am lucky in ways I don't even fully realize. My crew is healthy and happy and we want for almost nothing. My Mom is cancer-free when she wasn't last year at this time and that is SO BIG, I can't even crack wise about it. She looks great, feels great and I am swimming in gratitude while I think of those who aren't as lucky...or are hoping to be.

First world thankful-ness and junk. And this stuffs:

Social Media - I has it.

1. Social Media- yep, I said it haters. It makes me happy, mad, annoyed, aggravated and sometimes stay up too late. It also keeps me closely connected with people I was close to in one small sliver of this long life, some I didn't know well in school but should have, and a few who are good friends I have never met. Social media keeps me entertained, informed and provides a (mostly) thoughtful forum for concepts and ideas. This makes all of the duck lips and the occasional inappropriate nonsense tolerable. Communication WIN.

2. Missing people

The Holidays can be are a melancholy time for me. I miss my Dad and brother. I miss being annoyed by them, miss annoying them back. And I am thankful for this? You bet. I have learned over time what a special thing it is to grow up in a close family, with family members who are worth missing. I am so lucky in my unluckiness in this.

3. Glorious Food

This is the epitome of #firstworldproblems for me. My decisions around how to prepare the T-Day meal harbor on embarrassing. I have made turkey every conceivable way except fricassee, which I need to look up. We have variations of the same items on the same table because we all want what we want. We make extra so we can have leftovers AND discuss making extra so we can have the adequate leftovers even after we share with our family. I know there are many in my own town who are struggling to make daily meals happen. For plenty, I am thankful.

4. Mae.

Because, Mae.No offense to others, but Mae is my favorite. She wins. She loves me, she gets me, she tolerates me, she gave me her genes (we used to be the same height but she shrank). She is bossy and wise and good. Her only fault is that she lives just far enough away that you can't make it there and back in a weekend. I am thankful every day that she is still only a phone call away from me at 94 years old. I am not sure there is a time we have spoken from childhood to now that she hasn't told me I am special. It makes me want to believe her.

5. Coffee Dates
I love going for coffee, especially for someone who doesn't drink it (tea nerd here). The best thing to combat a shitty week is a coffee date with one of my peeps who makes me laugh and tells me to get over myself.
I have a rule that I won't turn down an invitation from someone who wants to talk up an idea over coffee, and I have rarely been disappointed in this rule. The last time I took a chance on a stranger (with ideas I wasn't too sure about) who wanted to talk it up over coffee, I joined his election committee, and made a good friend. He won.

6. Nutty pets

I threaten our pets often that I am getting rid of them, but I don't think they believe me (We used to similarly tell our kids we were selling the other one to the gypsies. It's like that.). These knuckleheads are just like the rest of us with all of their idiosyncrasies. Water obsession, dogorexia, murderous behavior, and stealing. The lizard finally packed her rock and moved into a school classroom where she can run free. Who can blame her? It's a zoo in here.

7. This.
I don't even have an exact name for it, but its about friends. And I am thankful.

8. Red Velvet Cake - But only my mom's recipe. You can keep your cream cheese frosting. I prefer the light and fluffy Crisco frosting which will likely lead to clogged arteries. Every year, she makes me one. Mom = cake=love.

9. Wyoming
This is MY state, and many of yours as well. It isn't definable as any one thing, which is what makes it great. If you're new, welcome. If you moved here 9-12 months ago so you could run for office in what felt like an easy-to-win flyover state, that's not ok. Behave accordingly.

10. Stuff

There are more things of course, like the Baboos, epidurals and headline news. There's always more, always things to be thankful for. And those things always, ALWAYS outweigh the things that are hard. Always.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Hi,It's me.The one to whom you keep rolling your eyes. I know, I know, it doesn't really mean much and truthfully, it doesn't really bother me. We love each other and drive each other crazy concurrently. That will get easier over time, but will always be the case to some degree. Ask your Grandma.I am seeing so much of myself in you these days, the days you will remember in snippets, for both good and bad reasons. I know these fine speeches of mine are part of what creates the eye rolling epidemic, but since I can't go back and tell myself all of these things I wish I had known in 1987, the best I can do is share them with you.These are NOT rules, nor are they those things that seem like rules, but which aren't called rules. These are items to be considered and weighed by you, (an almost adult) as you travel through these both tough and fantastic years. Just think about them, m'kay?

The happenings over these next few years will shape who you become so it is critical that you make good decisions...and a few calculated (and hopefully minor) bad ones. That's how you learn the difference.

That boy that didn't text you back? He'll probably re-think that decision one day, even if not until your 20 year reunion. You will also regret someone you didn't give a second glance as well.

Set limits early. For whatever. For everything. Know who you are and how you feel about things before you wade in and have to make a decision on the spot. You can always adjust your limits, if you already have some.

You're a good looking person. So is most everyone. Starting around this age, it will seem like there are a million things wrong with how you look. Every person does this, even 'that girl'. We all have things about ourselves we may not like, so we just have to work with what we DO like, so find some things and focus on them.

It can feel great to feel like you are at the top of the heap, but sometimes that means someone else is at the bottom. That feeling is fleeting, and you will find yourself on the bottom of someone else's heap sooner or later. So be kind.

Want the best for others, even when it isn't easy. Even when they don't deserve it, be happy for them. Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

We are looking at your text messages, social networks and whatever else because it gives us insight into your world and makes sure you are safe online. We both know there is still a lot we DON'T know, and that's ok.

Things that seem defining now won't mean much later on. I swear, no one will ever ask which team you made in a job interview. Just play.

Soon enough, your friends are going to make choices that you don't agree with, and that doesn't mean you have to make the same choice. It also doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with them.Worry for them, but try not to judge. See #3

Thursday, November 21, 2013

So....I have been hiding out, but have been challenged by one of my pals over at I'll Have It On the Side (go look) to write another post about what I am NOT thankful for this Thanksgiving season.

I am so frigging thankful for my #firstworldproblems, I can't even tell ya. Thankful most of each and every day, except when I am being a whiny baby. Which happens.

I realize this is going to land wrong with a few of you and some of you will think I am talking about you. Truthfully...I am. BUT, only in a general way, and always with me realizing fully that I have a counter-annoying habit which makes you want to write/rant about me. Feel free - It's OK. It takes all kinds, peeps. So...there's the disclaimer, suckas. Here is my list:

((Ahem))

A Lot of Layers List of Grimy Unthankfulness

1. Video Conferencing/Wrinkles

What? I'm listening!

My new job involves many, MANY hours of online video conferencing. I have learned to love the improved communication, but what I do not love is looking at my face while my mouth is talky-talking, my eyes are bugging and squinting and my face is wrinkling. Do I really look that way? Yikes. I really have to resist pulling my face skin taut while I am on the call, which would be distracting to the others on the call....but would make me look *so* less almost-forty.

2. Christmas in October

Knock that shit off Retailers! Give the turkey his 15 minutes, wouldja?

3. Junk email

Amazon, do I need to hear from you every three minutes? Thirty-One auto-emailer! Sweet baby Jesus, how many times do I have to unsubscribe??

4. Tree-murdering snow

Snow is supposed to be soft and lovely, falling gently and dusting the rooftops and junk. This tree-splitting nonsense? Ain't nobuddy got time for this. My trees aspire to be more than bushes. Go home snow, you're drunk.

Help.

5. Exercise cults

There, I said it. Exercise does a body good (I hear) and it's great to be health-conscious. But obsessed? Cult-ish? It feels like I am surrounded by Exercise Moonies, but instead of handing out flowers at the airport, they are doing push-ups. Talk about something else. The world is a big place. Moderation and balance folks. (Stop planking! That isn't what I meant by balance!!!) sigh.

6. SnapChat

I enjoy stalking monitoring my teenager's social networks and damned if SnapChat won't cooperate. I can see lots of messages but can't open them. What's the point of a social network that won't let you look at a message more than a few seconds????

Oh.

7. When blogging gets Stoopid

Some of my more serious bloggy friends sometimes seem to compete with each other and can appear over-invested in their 'blog-persona' and the popularity contest of blogging than seems to make sense. So..yeah.

8. The Cable Company

I wanted to reduce my cable (and my bill) since we are using Netflix, Amazon and Hulu. THRICE, I have had a conversation which in a nutshell tells me that because I am in a special program which will end in January, I am getting a great deal! And, if I reduce my package, I will end up paying $more-dollars and if I keep the same package, I will pay $more-dollars. If I add a phone line, I will pay $less-dollars, but still $more-dollars than I am paying now. Sigh. I think they are training their representatives at Bath and Body Works. And both are out-smarting me. 9. Facebook/Pinterest recipe sharesSeriously people. Just click the link and save it. Or send it to your own mail. Or stop posting 1,000 recipes we both know we'll probably never find again on the book of Face. 10. People who have their shit togetherGawd, I am hugely annoyed and insanely jealous of people who have clean cars, don't forget their shopping list, keep all of their laundry done and know what day they are supposed to bring snacks for...um, whatever...at any given moment. What are you people, robots? I continue to tell myself that my lack of these skills is just part of my fun quirkiness, but a few days ago I spilled gum squares on the floor of my car....and today i ate one because I needed gum. Help me.

11. Bonus Unthankfulness - Selfies

Peeps, I *knows* you need a good profile pic or four to choose from. We all do! A few Selfies with friends, solid! But the daily individual selfie makes me worry about the state of society; a place where instead of using the technology of photography to capture what you SEE, it's all about seeing YOURSELF first. It's the Sistine Chapel vs. "me kicking it at the Sistine Chapel..! ((Peace sign)) #vacay #illegalselfie #seeingtheworld"

Thursday, March 21, 2013

A girl in my relatively small-town high school class accused an older classmate of rape. I wasn't really friends with either of them, but knew them both. I heard the rumors, I listened, raised my eyebrows. I judged. The accuser suffered the wrath of the popular accused's many friends and likely saw eyes cut her way by those who didn't say what the others did, but thought it. She was the topic of jokes, ones I *may* have smirked at. The case was eventually dismissed. One rumor said the accused passed a lie detector test, and that she failed. I have no idea if that's true, but it sealed her fate and she laid low a long time. He flourished. I DID NOTHING.After graduation, I heard whispers, knowing shrugs and even open discussion of this same accused boy doing the same thing to several other girls, WHICH WAS RAPE. They spoke of it like a rite of passage, or a group they now belonged to. They all said, I shouldn't have been there, I was drunk, etc. By this time, we were all adults and the accuser had moved, but I felt vindicated for her somehow by this reception-hall-bathroom-conversation, even if she didn't know it occurred. She and I became better friends over the years, over Facebook. I never told her what I had heard, and we have never spoken of her ordeal, or the fact that I didn't do as I should have, was not a friend to a classmate who probably could have really used one. For that I am ashamed. I still see the accused around town, and as much as I don't want to, when he smiles and says hi, I do the same. And I cringe.

____

In the same time period, another friend said she was date raped by a older boy we hardly knew. One of our friends wondered if she had made it up; after all, she had gone on a drive with him willingly, and was flirting with him like mad. I should have DEFENDED her, should have probably told. I DID believe it happened, but I was afraid to tell my parents because I didn't want her to get in trouble for going off with a clean-cut but much older boy with out-of-town plates and a charming smile, who turned out to be anything but. That sounds ridiculous to my 'parent ears' now. Even worse, I didn't talk to her about it, although we were as close as sisters. I DID NOTHING.While we are still close, I STILL haven't talked to her about it at any length, except once when she told me that he raped her in the hard, cold bed of his truck and told her "it can be the easy way, or the hard way". He berated her the entire drive back to town, before offering her another chance to 'learn a little something and do it better next time.' She was barely 15.

_____

Over summer break, a friend told me her long time boyfriend "pretty much made her do it", after tiring of waiting on her to go all the way. They broke up right after and both were mum as to why it was over, odd in our usually gossipy 'popular clique'. It was the period of time when we were all deciding whether or not to abandon our virginity and I am pretty sure I remember suggesting she should go ahead and do it. To her, that may have felt like pressure, and I am sorry for that. After she told me, I was horrified that he didn't stop when she said she was at her limit, but again, I didn't handle it well. I was scared of what I knew, and freaked out that the boy who had done it RAPED HER was at the same party I was later that night, acting like... not-a-monster. I shudder as I remember quietly sharing the *idea* (without saying RAPE) that 'maybe he had pushed my friend to 'do it' and that maybe that was why they had broken up?,' with a small group of our mutual male friends. I remember the boys saying to each other "well, what did she expect; that he would wait forever?" I gave up. WHy did I give up? I should have marched over and kicked him in the nuts for my friend. I even asked him what the hell happened, why they had broken up, hoping he would confirm what she said, admit it to me so I could react appropriately, but he mumbled something incoherent about her being dramatic and I shamefully accepted that. I spent the entire summer inside the same social group with him, the rapist of my good friend. I DID NOTHING.My friend and I have rarely spoken of that night, at her urging. I fear that by not being a good friend then, I have made it more difficult for her now.

_____

Today I wrote to each of my three friends and apologized. I do a lot of writing about women's issues, support of women by women, and suddenly feel like a hypocrite. I wrote that I had not supported them, I judged or did not defend them, I failed them as a friend, as a woman. I feel that each of them carries a scar from the incident, but also in part because of my inability to know what to do. I am just now realizing that I knew of 3 rapes before I was 18. THREE RAPES OF TEENAGE GIRLS, and I DID NOTHING. I am sure there are many more I don't know about. The ones that my other girlfriends knew about our other friends, have kept secret for years and the ones they didn't handle as well as they could, either. As we talk about rape culture, I think there is a chance that the boys in these rapes felt somehow justified, or thought that pushing a girl beyond her initial NO's was 'usual', and that what they did wasn't a scary word like RAPE, since it wasn't like they were 'violent'. Or because she was drunk, or because she had obviously let herself be alone with him for a reason. Maybe they look back now and realize it was wrong. (I'd like to ask them.) Hopefully they didn't continue to behave the same way with others because I DID NOTHING. Hopefully those who knew about and belittled the claims of our first friend in the 90's look back now as I did and think how we reacted poorly, blamed and shamed a possible victim, and said all those things people are saying now like: - Why was she so drunk? - Why did she go with them then? - She just regretted it the next day..And then I hope they talk to their teenagers about those events and how we were so, so wrong. Being young is hard, and we have to acknowledge that DOING THE RIGHT THING ISN'T ALWAYS EASY. I was aghast at the actions of the kids in Stuebenville, until i took a long fucking look in the mirror today.

We need to talk about the difficulty of doing the right thing among peers with our young people, instead of stamping the kids in Stuebenville immoral. We need to understand WHY no one reacted, and why some felt the young girl had created this situation to be violated and were comfortable enough to tweet about it. We need to have all the hard discussions and ask all the uncomfortable questions. I had to force myself to write the word RAPE in this post, made myself capitalize it as I went back and changed it. Even now, I was tempted to minimize the word, make it less horrible. We need to say the word RAPE, identify what it means and label it when it happens without minimization or justification. Or victim blame.

I want my daughter and son to feel different, to be different and to have the courage to do the things I didn't do to support friends and classmates, even when it isn't easy. I want them to understand the awkward nuances of sex, and where the limits lie, without debate. But without acknowledging my own failings, it will sound hollow to my own ears. My penance for my failure will be to share this post with them when the time comes, share the stories above and the role I played in rape culture. There are many to blame, including myself. I AM DOING SOMETHING. My gratitude to the women who accepted my apology today and agreed to allow me to share their stories in this blog. Their courage and forgiveness overwhelm me.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I am in a passive aggressive argument with this blog. I was feeling a weird responsibility to it, which made me annoyed with it, which made me have writers block, which made me ignore it more, which has made me irritated with Facebook, which drove me to Twitter, which made me read a lot of political articles, which brought me back to Facebook.The point is, I am still not interested in blogging. My blogger is broken and it can't get up. My pal at DeBie Hive heard me say it, so she is trying to get me off of my dead ass and blog it up by tagging me with an assignment to write more about myself. Which I need to do less off in lieu of writing other more interesting stuffs. But I like DeBie, so........

1. Where were you born. I am the second born of a set of twins born in Buffalo, WY. I was 6 weeks premature and breech, which means at 4 lbs, I practically jumped out. My mother says I always land on my feet to this day. A sentiment I have always liked.

2. Were you named after someone? I need a lot of therapy over this topic. My brother was named for Jason in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Named after a musical, fitting) and TWIN was named after a darling girl named Stephanie who lived down the lane from my parents in Germany when my father was in the Army. When she was called to in the lane by her mother, she would answer "Yaaaaa, mamaaaaaa.... my mother dreamed of her daughter when she heard it.

3. How many children do you have? I have two, and they are cool cats. They are funny and sarcastic. And they both have stories for their names.

4. How many pets do you have? Too many! We have a chubby Corgi who eats anything you leave in reach, including purses, girl scout cookies and to-go boxes, etc. Our Corgi is the owner of a Chihuahua who won't eat a damn thing and who is constantly 'aroused". I had to stop walking him to school because he was afraid of the kids and when approached would immediately roll onto his back so I could answer 13 questions from kindergartners about his 'situation" on display. Sigh. We also have 2 pound cats, one who owns me. Our latest pet is a bearded dragon who spends a lot of the day hanging on the side of the cage. I would like all of our pets better if they did not defecate.

5. Your worst injury. I abhor exercise, so I do my best not to do any of it. My worst injury was probably childbirth. Yeowch. Totally worth it though.

6. Do you have a special talent? I can find anyone or anything on Google. I will stalk anyone, research anything. The answers are all there and I clearly need to know.it.all.

7. Favorite thing to bake. I prefer to cook instead of bake. I can do good things with my Le Creuset enameled dutch oven, which I have renamed The Magic Pot.

8. Favorite Fast Food. Probably a Taco Bravo from Taco Johns, which is a soft shell inside a hard shell.

9. Would you bungee jump? Not me. I don't mind heights, but I get nothing out of the stomach lurch from jumping off said height or racing back down at lighting speed. I will stroll down, thankyouverymuch. I always wonder what the pulling up short does to a person's back?

10. What is the first thing you notice about people? Wit. If they're quick on the draw. Lots of smart people, lots of nice people. Not always a lot of witty people. But when I find them, I know it almost immediately.

11. When was the last time you cried? Hmm. I am not a crier. Even alone. I might be a robot. Special Agent says I am Spock. But I was so frustrated when I listened to the the Wyoming legislature fail to pass the gay marriage bill in Wyoming this session that i cried. Sometimes i think I feel the world changing, getting better, y'know? I thought this was one of those times and I was going to hear it, FEEL it change right in front of me. When it didn't, I was crushed. Special Agent was freaked out at my unusual outburst and bought me a drink and hugged my shoulders.

12. Any current worries. I hate wasting time on worrying, I prefer action. I have a few things that are bugging me and I am working them out so they will go the hell away.

17. Why do you blog? I originally did it because my life needed a creative outlet. Now my blog and I are on a break. I think i need to put effort into writing something I want to accomplish instead of dicking around.

18. What song do you want played at your funeral? I'd Have to Be Crazy, by Willie Nelson.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself. I'm a know it all. And bossy.

20. Favorite hobby. Reading, Google, kids. Shit. I need a hobby.

21. Name something you’ve done, you never thought you would do? Wouldn't you like to know?

22. What do you look for in a friend. I don't look for a friend, we just gravitate toward each other and then bam, we're friends. Like DeBie, who I have never met. See #10

23. Favorite Fun things to do? Sit in a coffee shop with a friend and laugh my ass off.

25. Whats the last thing that made you laugh? A video I have seen before with gay men telling heterosexual men that they should support gay marriage so the gay guys don't marry their girlfriends. It's funny no matter how many times you see it.

Now, I am supposed to tag other bloggers. But I'm being a rebel. If the mood strikes you, consider yourself tagged.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Heloooo. Its snowing today and I am glad to be INSIDE. Its nice in here and I am getting some shiz done up in this mofo. For reasons unknown, Blogger is whack today and has spacing issues. Just go wit it.I have been taking a 'Facebreak' the past few days since frankly, I am spending way too much time facebooking bloggers about blogging and writing than I am actually blogging or writing. I wondered just what I might get done if I stopped mindlessly scrolling through Facebook pages for a few days. Also, I am starting to think that the concept of knowing EVERYONE's opinions on EVERYTHANG and then shotgunning my own out there is probably overrated. Maybe I should just think what I think, and let others think what they think and let's call the whole thing off. In just a few days, I finished a few assignments so my experiment is proving to be worthwhile.

Until.....I got a comment on an older blog post...distraction! Yay! I was su-prised. It was from the lovely Modern Mama Dramas, who is much younger than me, but I like anyway. Go check her out; she is growing a new little being and has agreed to be my 'off the sauce" partner. Don't tell her I already cheated. Urg.

She was giving my lame ass an award! Pretty nice of her, considering I have been using my freelance gig links as blogs for a while, which is technically cheating. She is too good to me. So..here are the rules. There are always rules.

1.Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.

3. Choose 11 new bloggers (with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them in your post.

Have you ever moved away from "home"?I did, and I think it should be required. I moved from my small town in Wyoming to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba about 8 months after I graduated High School, which was and about 7 months after I got married to Special Agent, without a shotgun, even. (Ain't love grand?)2. What are your hobbies, besides blogging?Hmmm. Sadly, Facebook has been a hobby, but I am officially knocking that shit off. I like to read, and I suppose one would say that i am ridiculously addicted to Google research. Whattanerd. I don't need things to do, i can spaz out on anything. Right now, it's THIS (Click word).3. Do you go on family vacations; which was your favorite?We go every few years to a sunny locale with a national language we don't speak. The last one was to the Dominican Republic. I highly recommend. We also go camping every year to the Big Horn Mountains, and I have to say that is my favorite. Dear Wyoming, I love you.

4. Any big plans for 2013?Not really. While I like change A LOT, I don't really plan ahead about it. I live in the now.

5. If you could have any animal, real or imaginary, for a pet, what would you choose and why?I want this baby Giraffe. Why?? Uh...duh, because it's awesome.

6. What's your favorite book/movie?I like too many to name and it depends on my weird mood of the day. I would be suspect of anyone who has just ONE.

7. It's raining and the kids are home from school, WHAT DO YOU DO?We like to watch bad TV. The baboos aren't afraid to lay low, like their mother. If we tire of that, we'd probably cook.

8. If you could time-travel, would you go back to the past or into the future?I hate rules, so I say BOTH. Past to say hi to my Dad and ask him to stop smoking that day. I would also like to see my parents when they were young. I would probably totally McFly that shit and erase my existence. Fail.9. Do you censor your posts based on your followers (like family or certain friends)?Nah, those who know me, know me. Most like me anyway, even if I am one of the few social liberals in my state.

10. Will you keep blogging?That's a good question. I have become terrible at reading blogs, which is what made me start writing one in the first place! I have been thinking at times that blogging can feel like a job, a responsibility. One that I don't get paid for but which can impede that which I AM paid for. My Spock brain struggles with that computation at times. I will do it as long as its fun, but will never forget that the blogosphere isn't real life.11. You get to meet a role model or idol: who is it and why?I am not really a fan type, and try to get my role models from my real life, so usually know them. It would probably be someone like the Iron Jawed Angels

This is an excellent movie about them, see it!

So....11 random factoids about moi. I am pretty random, so there. Well, I just told you all a bunch of crud above, so....now I feel spent. Be right back, I am taking a nap. Just kidding. 1. I don't drink coffee. I can't stand it. I only drink tea, and only a kind which your Grandma and the local pancake house carry. I have tried all of the chi-chi varieties, but I always come back to the one with the stupidest name in creation; I don't even like to say it.

2. I have a twin sister, who is a much nicer person than I am. I am opinionated and I try to push her around. I imagine when she hangs up the phone with me, she occasionally flips me the bird. And I don't blame her. 3. I wake up at 5:55 almost every day so I can lay in bed and watch a whole lotta news. While I check my Twitter and read articles.

4. On one of our first dates, I made Special Agent watch a Manson- family documentary. I am surprised he ever came back. Romantic, right? His own weird streak must have kept him hanging on.

5. For a time, I used to check the bathroom from behind the shower curtain obsessively while showering, something I blame on Rockwell. One day, i just stopped. 6. I am married to a former Marine-turned-Special-Agent, but I am really a pacifist. 7. I have no idea who Liebster is. 8. I sometimes cheat at Words With Friends. But usually because I am too busy to take the time to think it out. Fuck, did I really just say I am TOO BUSY FOR SCRABBLE?

9. I was voted 'most blunt' of my Senior class. Is that a compliment? 10. My brother was gay and died of AIDS. I have a special needs niece who has half a brain and outsmarts me on a regular basis. If you are mean or nasty about gay rights or say the words "fag" or "retarded", I will fuck you up. I learned to not say those things as a part of speech, and SO CAN YOU. 11. I am under-emotional and it can make me seem cold, but I am actually astute at understanding all elements of a situation and have a lot of empathy. Just because I don't burble over with emotion doesn't mean I don't have any. I am just not sharing them with you. OK! I did it!! Now, I would like to tag the following, who are my peeps and are also funny bloggers, who like me, struggle to blog it out regularly. Ok, only some of us. Well, really just me. Here are their well thought out questions:1.Where do you do your writing? 2. Do you have aspirations for a book, or just dicking around? 3. What do you think non-bloggers, family members and friends think about blogging?4. Do you think Facebook can also hinder blogging, as well as help spread your name around? 5. Do you like sandwiches? 6. How are you different from those in your peer group? 7. Are you on Twitter and actually using it? 8. Do you read a lot of other blogs, or just use yours as a means for your own thoughts?9. If you could be a fruit, which one would you choose and why? 10. Do you think these awards are sometimes too long and time-consuming? 11. How do you think these arbitrary numbers, like 11 are chosen? 12. Did you know I was a rebel? Reptiles in the Ice CreamMusings Of MunchI'll Have It on the SideThe Way I See It...The Loaded Handbag

Shamelessly Bragging

About The Onion

I like to imagine myself as this layered person, like an onion, even though some of the layers are maddening. I enjoy peeling away parts of my ever-changing life plan that are less desirable (or aren't working) to expose parts that are shiny, fresh and new with promise. Sometimes the part I peel away unveils further craziness underneath. But I keep peeling, knowing I'll get to the good stuff eventually.