More likely to be seen touring railway stations, rather than arenas; these guys are the FC United of the music industry.

18/03/13My Bloody Valentine - If I am

Like they'd never been away.

11/03/13Lavender Diamond - I Don't Recall

That high-pitched, warbly tone your Nan has been doing for years.

04/03/13Unknown Mortal Orchestra - So good at being in trouble

Hailing from New Zealand and Portland, Oregon: I like to picture the band meeting in Kiribati for band-practice. Probably not enough chanting or body-percussion for the locals though.

No, I'm not Prince Phillip; I've looked it up.

25/02/13Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Only in my dreams

A tune your Dad would love, with a video he'd hate.

18/02/13Low - Just like christmas

Everyone knows The Pogues are for life, not just for Christmas. The same can be said for the other 3 of 4 songs which don't make you want to throw up your Vienetta.

11/02/13The Cribs - Leather jacket love song

Just another number they've been touring since the Jonny Marr days, accompanied by a video featuring their 1997 selves.

04/02/13Only Real - Backseat kissers

I bet Jamie Oliver, Vinnie Jones and Guy Richie love these.

I think you can see what I'm getting at.

28/01/13'Allo Darlin' - My heart is a drummer

It is widely accepted that no band is allowed to have their name surrounded by inverted commas, but when your band is a bunch o' cockneys fronted by an Ozzie: Something has to fill in for all them missin' letters.

21/01/13Elephant - Skyscraper

A nifty air-check from a dazzlin' gal and a fly guy, sure to make you blow your top and wig out.

14/01/13Prince - Rock and roll love affair

Prince doesn't really need any superlatives from me, as he tends to blow his own trumpet anyway.

(...and the Marketing moment of the year award goes to: his record-label for removing the official video from the world's most popular video website.