In my humble opinion, there's nothing funnier than watching Nicholas Cage chew scenery in a fantasy picture, which may explain why I'm happy that the viral website for "Season of the Witch" is finally online. I'll gladly watch you swing swords, Mr. Cage, but I'm still waiting for an apology for "Ghost Rider".

If you're one of the lucky individuals heading to Austin, Texas for the South by Southwest Film Conference and Festival this March, you might want to check out the horror titles currently scheduled to play this year. "Tucker and Dale vs. Evil" will be there, and I'm insanely jealous.

Hey! Do you remember last week when I filled your delicious mind with information regarding a little film called "After.Life"? Well, in case you were wondering, Anchor Bay has scheduled the film for release this Spring. I'm excited, so I know you're excited. Besides, it's hard not to like a film that features both Liam Neeson and Christina Ricci. Isn't it?

Out promoting her upcoming movie "Avatar" that you may have heard of, Sigourney Weaver drops some possible plot bombs pertaining to "Ghostbusters 3". These are pretty juicy details, so I will leave them out of this post. If you're intrigued as to the future of Peter Venkman and Oscar the baby? Be sure to click through.

I am looking everywhere for horror news. Everywhere. With the exception of something with Ashley Olsen called “Beastly”, there's no news. None. Oh, there's plenty of news about Anthony Hopkins playing Odin in the “Thor” adaptation, or that “Men in Black 3” is moving forward, but nothing that is remotely horror related. Um... Cameron Diaz might be remaking Mel Gibson's “What Women Want”. That's pretty damn scary. “Twilight” is getting re-released in theaters. UGH.

I know that some of you are probably freaking out right now, but, you know... BREATHE. It'll be okay. Here's an idea: how about trying out some new genre this weekend? You're life can't all be horror and, if it is, chances are you're highly unemployable. Why not try a nice romantic comedy? I watched “The Proposal” the other night and found it absolutely delightful!

Or, even better...how about turning off the TV and taking your puppy to the dog park? Yeah! Get off your fat, unwashed ass and cavort and frolic with your loving pet. He could die at any minute. Do you want the guilt of having this loyal companion die of loneliness while you watch “Evil Dead 2” for the 30th time? Don't have a dog, volunteer at an animal shelter. DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE.

So October is coming to a close and Saturday you‘ll probably be out at a party dressed as a farm animal trying to get your swerve on with a hooker vampire. It’s beautiful really. But what kind of beer will you be drinking? Here’s a few suggestions that might help your liver get in the Halloween spirit with you.