Creating a healthy balance one sip at a time.

Month: October 2014

One of my favorite conversations to have with people is to talk about what they would do with their life if money wasn’t an issue. The Mega Millions is currently up to over $300,000,000 so of course, the conversations have started up again.

Now, let’s be realistic. If I won the $300,000,000 jackpot, I’d probably ONLY get about $150,000,000 of it after taxes. I’ll try to work with that number. Here’s what I would do with that money:

Give some to my immediate family. This includes my husband’s family as well (you’re all welcome). I wouldn’t give them all $10M, but I would give them enough to live a comfortable lifestyle and to pay any and all outstanding debt that they would have.

Buy a new car. I love my Jeep, but I would love one that is new. I probably wouldn’t even buy a luxury car (BMW, Audi, Mercedes), I would just buy a fully loaded awesome black Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Buy a house. This is a tough one. We don’t have kids nor is that in the future plans, so I wouldn’t want a huge 6+ bedroom house. We just don’t need it. But trust me, I would buy the nicest 4 bedroom house in town, located on a golf course with a fenced in yard and finished basement with built in bar. The kitchen would also be fully loaded, and I’d be sure the living room had high ceilings. It’s the little things.

Donate to charity. My first pick would be animal rescue organizations. Then after that, I’d have to do some more research. But first, save all the puppies!!

Take lots of vacations. I wouldn’t do a long 3-month trip. I would just plan lots of vacations throughout the year. Some with my husband, some with family, and some with friends. Plus, I’d want to spread it out over the years because I don’t need to see the whole world right away.

Invest. I’d need to hire someone for this part. I just hear it’s a good thing to do.

Upgrade my wardrobe. But not like Kim Kardashian. I really think I would go to J. Crew, buy all the $100 sweaters and boots I want, and call it a day. But along those Kim K. lines, I might have to buy a pair of Louboutins just to say I own them. Oh and Lululemon. Buy all the Lulu.

Get my yoga instructor license. But I’d do it the right way. I’d do the 200-hour training in a few weeks time, maybe take a yoga retreat. Then teach every once in awhile. It’s something I’d really like to do but just don’t have the time or money to do it.

Continue working. I’d have to do something. Maybe I would work on our startup company more and actually build it out the way we envision it to be since we would have the resources to do so. Maybe we’d start something new. I would have to stay busy, but I wouldn’t go and work for someone else in an office setting ever again.

Join a country club. This might sound silly, but, I really want to be a country club person. But at 26, that shiz is expensive and unrealistic for the most part. Maybe I’d even get my own golf cart like my dad has always had! Fully loaded of course, with a cooler and speakers inside.

As you can tell, I’ve got big plans for my millions. Wish me luck tomorrow! What would you do if you won the lottery?

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I’ve been married for less than eight months. In that short amount of time, I’ve probably heard this question fifty times….”So, when are you going to have kids?”

I never thought twice about this question before. Heck, I’ve probably even asked it to newlyweds. But, now that I’m on the other side of the question, I can’t think of anything more annoying. There is probably nothing more personal to a couple than their opinions, hopes, and desires about having a child. Why does it seem to be the first question that is blurted out when you tell someone you are recently married?

Truth is, when someone asks me, I don’t have a good answer. I usually just laugh it off and say no kids yet and no plans…but we have a dog!! When good friends or my family asks, I can explain my feelings in a little more detail. But, it gets complicated.

I don’t want kids…right now. But that is how I feel today. How I feel tomorrow or next year might be totally different. Which is why, when people ask when we are going to have kids, I just laugh and pretend I wasn’t just asked one of the most personal questions you could ask.

I get it. It’s a conversation topic and starter. You might think I’m overreacting and that’s the question isn’t really a big deal, but to me it is. The answer isn’t cut and dry. It’s something that requires A LOT of thought and discussions with my husband. And furthermore, what if we were trying to have kids but were having some fertility issues? How awful to have to answer such a simple question with a fake smile while knowing that it is more of a struggle than just deciding to have kids?

And let’s talk about the timing of the question. We’ve been married for less than a year. This question was first asked at the wedding, even before that! Is it expected to have kids within the first year now? Not saying it’s bad if you do, but come on…give a newlywed a break!

When I do tell people that I’m not sure if I want kids, I usually get 1 of 2 responses.

1- “Kids really are the greatest thing in the world. It is the hardest thing that you’ll ever do, but it is the most rewarding. You should really have them.”

2- “If you have even a thought that you don’t want to have kids, then you shouldn’t! You shouldn’t have kids if you don’t want them.”

There are things wrong with both of these answers. For the first response, I’m well aware that raising kids is hard work. And I’m sure to you that your kids are the greatest thing that has ever happened. But, that does not make me want to have kids anymore than I did before. I truly believe I will like my kids and I will think they are greatest things as well. Hello….have you seen how I treat my dog? With the second response, I’m bothered by the assumption that I have sworn off all possibilities of having kids and that I’ll be a resentful and awful mother if I do because of this.

I have friends that have recently gotten pregnant, and the comments have turned from before the pregnancy, “Kids are the greatest…flowers…butterflies..love…” to during, “OMG, you’re never going to sleep again, good luck keeping a relationship with your husband….you’ll never get your body back…etc.” Why is it that when you aren’t pregnant everyone comments on the joys and positives of getting pregnant, and then once you are pregnant, everyone comments on all the negativity?

I get this isn’t always the case, and I also get that many might disagree with how I feel about this situation. But, just like the personal questions you shouldn’t ask like weight, politics, etc., I think your preference on having kids fits right in that same category.

For me, it’s a personal decision to be made with my husband. Something that we have discussed and will continue to discuss and someday we will decide if it’s the right time or not. For now, please lay off the pressuring questions. I’m a great dog mom and aunt of the year and I am perfectly happy with those titles for now.