This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who suffer from and are susceptible to bullying. Through the Four Pillars and their progeny, we can move forward and become the men we were meant to be!

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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Yes, I'm getting a little repetitious. Yes, I've written ad nauseum about bouncing, ejecting, removing, and extricating the wrong people from your surroundings. And yes, I've sung the praises of including the right people and keeping them. In ideal situations, those two decisions go hand in hand.

Mind if I explain why?

(1). The less time you spend around people who aren't good to you, or for you, the less reason you have to get stuck in a rut of anger, resentment, grudges, and unresolved issues.

(2). The more time you spend around people who love you, listen to you, accept you for who you are, respect you, and, oh yeah, agree with you, more often than not, the more reason you have to be positive, pro-active, motivated, and genuinely happy.

(3). When you're on that higher plane, it's a hell of a lot easier to be BOLD and a no-brainer to be BULLETPROOF. When you have that going for you, nothing, not even the most disparaging or abrasive comment any alphole or femhole can spew, can do any damage.

Don't get the wrong idea, you don't need other people to MAKE you Bold and Bulletproof. That's entirely your doing. But to stay that way, you need to be VERY selective as to who's in your supporting cast. It truly does effect your attitude and performance.

Ummm Daaaaave? IIIIIII hang out with TONS of people who are different from me. It doesn't matter to meeee, I'm a cool kid!

Should I be impressed? Should I try to copy you? Am I less than you? No.

And even if all these people are "different from" you, if those differences are not the kind that are still acceptable, you wouldn't give them the time of day. That's basic sociology, nothing more and nothing less. Let's not play Mother Teresa, please.

And those differences only work if they help you, enlighten you, and maybe entertain you, and not if they annoy the holy hell out of you, and not if they leave you feeling hopelessly inadequate. There is no glory in being a martyr and selecting these people only because they're different. That's tokenism, and it's a whole other issue.

You need people who respect you, not those who tolerate you. There is a HUGE difference, and once we learn self-respect, we need better than mere tolerance. We deserve a whole lot better than that.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

I've written volumes about rejecting and dismissing those who aren't right for you. Now let's concentrate on those who are right for you.

(1). LISTEN to them. Act like what they say matters. And if you forget something they said, have the good grace to double check it!

(2). COOPERATE with them. If they're really the right ones for you, they might give you some constructive criticism. There is a HUGE difference between that and bullying, beyessing, and I'm-just-saying, and you should be able to tell the difference at this point. If they give you some of that, think about it before you get defensive. Better yet, don't be afraid to return the constructive criticism when it's needed.

(3). ACKNOWLEDGE them. Do a few nice things "just because." Surprise them with something you know they like. Tell them, and show them, that they mean a great deal to you.

Now many of you may not have that someone yet. If you choose, you can remain alone, that's not exactly a bad thing. But you can also decide that you do want to let someone into your life for the right reasons. I'm not here to give you dating advice like the players and posers, that information is available from other sources. If you're being yourself and that doesn't match with someone else, let them go. If you're with someone who doesn't fit with you, show them the door. But if you're sincere about the right one, the meeting will be arranged.

That's kid stuff. The trick is it make it that good for the long term.