Never Snuggle a Shark When Your Wife is Pregnant!

It's "Shark Week." Actually, I never watch "Shark Week", but I see it advertised all over the place this time of year. So, somebody is watching it. But, I have my own shark story to tell.

When my wife was pregnant with our first son, I was very protective of her. I was so thankful for the whole baby process that I was like a Rottweiler on guard duty. Protective!

I was taking classes in Jacksonville, FL at that time, and we would drop down to Daytona Beach when classes were out. I love that area. One day, we were walking along the beach and I saw a fish flopping in the surf. It had obviously gotten washed ashore. So, I went down to help it back to the open ocean. You can imagine my surprise to find a hammerhead shark.

The shark was a little guy about 2 - 2.5 feet long. It seemed like he was more head than body, and there he was struggling. I couldn't leave him there so I wadded into the shallow water, and then it dawned on me. "It's a SHARK!" Once that initial thought passed, I had a second one. How do you pick up a shark? It didn't take long to figure it out, and my grateful friend and I moved out into deeper water. When he seemed to be back to normal, I let him go and with the tip of his fin, off he went. (OK, I might have made up the fin thing.)

Well, I was feeling a lot like Superman. Yep, I'm the guy that saves sharks with my bare hands. I couldn't wait to tell my grandkids, but we needed to get son #1 born first. It was the start of a good day.

Later that day, we headed out to lunch. In the restaurant, the waitress seated us in what we assumed was the non-smoking section. Just before the meal arrived, three guys came in and sat right behind me. Immediately, they began smoking. Well, that wasn't going to do. My wife is pregnant! Can't you see, and "No, she's not just fat!"

I tipped my chair back so that I was directly between two of the guys, and I said, "Hey, guys, my wife is pregnant, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't smoke around her." This was my moment. I was the protector. I was Superman. I just saved a shark before lunch. Just another day in my Superman kind of life. So, pay attention guys. I am not someone you want to mess with. I'm the shark guy.

Thankfully, they apologized and moved to another part of the restaurant. Shortly after, their waitress came out and asked why they moved.

They told her they were in the non-smoking section and I had asked them not to smoke. She said, "No you weren't." Uh oh! Suddenly, my Superman cape was feeling a little over-worn and tight around the collar.

It doesn't matter how many super deals you complete. It doesn't matter how many times you are the superstar in your office. There is always that one moment when, for whatever reason, you're the goober in the middle and everyone knows it. That's OK, though. A lot of us have been there. So, enjoy Shark Week and think of me, the shark guy. The Goober Extraordinaire.

Mike, one of my soccer team mates has a huge missing part in his fore arm where he fed the sharks when he was much younger. We call him "sharky" or "shark bait"---I had no clue for almost a year why he was called those things as he always wore long shirts :) I tend to feel more like Don Quixote than Superman generally.

Oh---and consider yourself featured in the WeBlog Anything (almost) group

Good story and appreciate you sharing. Once while vacationing in Florida my wife and I saw a huge crowd gathering on the beach. We ran down not knowing what to expect. A female shark was beached and giving birth right there in the sand. People began stomping the babies many of us yelling and trying to get them to stop. Finally enough supermen got in the middle rolled the female shark back in the water and got the battered and bruised babies safely in with mom. Felt like a superman the rest of the evening.

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