- I just wiped a tear from my cheek. Or maybe it was pee. (Lisa James)

- Just finished buying all my 11-11-11 decorations. (Mike Seriously)

- I suggested to my coworker that we meet in the break room and play a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who has to stay late to work on a project today. He showed up unarmed so either he is about to forfeit or he misunderstood me but I'm about to stab him anyways. (Donny Norris)