Oh, and sorry for putting "straw" in your head if it wasn't there already.Yeah, hindsight being 20/20, that was a bum crack to make. A real wipe-out. A party-pooping crapshoot*. Sorry.

*or crap chute, if you want to get technical.

Seriously, though, nurses, what's with the butts?

FUNNY-BUT-TRUE-STORY: My hubby John is a 250-pound tough guy who faints at needles. Once in college he had to get a shot in the cheek. The southern cheek. Well, the moment he bent over the table was the moment he first discovered that - you guessed it - he faints from needles.

He regained consciousness on the floor, in the lap of the lovely lady nurse who had caught him, with his pants down.

He now tells this story to every nurse we meet.

Next time, maybe we should bring cupcakes to help smooth things over:

"You take the pink pill, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the bloody band aid, and dude, you are nuts."

Seriously - I want to know what's wrong with that one patient that he needs 20 thermometers? Butt Accupuncture? the world's record for most lollipops in one's bum? It's like the wreckerator is thinking...."just one more...no, it really needs another one...hmmmm, what if we put all the thermometers he's ever going to need in there? Perfect! What? We have more lollipop sticks left over? O.K., just a few more."

And I thought belly cakes were bad (even the well-dressed ones), but medically accurate belly cakes? {shudder} - the only thing missing was a previous c-section scar.

Does Charlotte and Anna's cake have "hair" on its "butt" or did someone try to frost it before it was completely cooled?I am also disturbed by the amount of bum cakes there were. I didn't know nurses had such a fetish for heinies.

The cake just under the Canadian one looks more like a pair of men's hanging things than butt checks. OOORRR, if you squint a bit, the cake could pass for an old woman's breasts. Either way, WoW and No thank-you! And who puts that many sticks up there anyway? Or is it like a cartoon where you SEE what you can't SMELL? Just wondering...

i concur, the first is a pregnant lady (most likely in labor and delivery) with fetal monitors on her belly (one for her heart, one for baby's) - and the red streaks are stretch marks. the EKG pads on the collarbone are a little much. also the frilly bra as most of us remove that for delivery, but i suppose it did have to be safe for work.

i'm VERY impressed with the accuracy of the GI cake. as a medical professional, the turns and bends (not to mention surface details) are surprisingly anatomically correct. kudos!

WHen I saw the bum with "multiple straws" calke the first thing I though was that the person had sat on (that is the censured version the immage was not pretty) a cactus and the nuses had to rempve the spikes...

And the single thermometer guy: that thermometer dos not go in at that angle let alone that position of the bum...

Just got home from night shift in the Birth Center of a major metro hospital and I'm feelin' the LOVE. ;-D

Thanks to those who explained what's up w/ cake #1--I particularly liked the electronic lead patches on the shoulders. Often in the excitement of the actual birth they get overlooked when the monitors are unhooked.Then you get called in hours later by a frantic first-timer: "there's SOMETHING stuck on me!!!!'"

Thanks for recognizing NNDay. Being a nurse is a later-in --life 5th career----and it's by far the best, HARDEST, most challenging and satisfying way I could spend my life.

Oh, and as for the butt obsession--no clue. In my world, it's Girl-y bits.

As a nursing student who is married to a freshly-graduated RN - I LOVED today's cakes. :) Some, bizarre though they may be, are actually quite well done. Don't think I could eat the band-aid cupcakes, though. Ew.

Um, I'm quite a lot disturbed by the brown stuff under the thermometer on the "Charlotte and Anna" cake. Which is saying a lot as there is such a lot to be disturbed by in this post...Happy Nurses Week!

Ok, here's the deal wih the swabs in the bums- the only place to swab a patient to check for the anitbiotic resistant germs like VRA and ORSA is, you guessed it, the bum!

I am an ex-ICU nurse, and each and every admission had to have this done, as well as once a week for existing patients. It's how they track the spread and incidence of these infections. Not the nicest thing I ever did as a nurse, but not the worst by far either!

All that said, I laughed so hard I snorted at this post. Nurses have to keep a very good sense of humor about these things, or you would be unable to get through your day.

vw: emyela: What your patient does when you stick a swab in their butt- "I'm yell-a"

To me, the "Boldly Go" cake looks like a horror story from my ER nurse pal. It doesn't look like a thermometer, but some people will put ANYTHING up their butts. Lots of anythings, in some cases. Then they have an unpleasant visit with my pal in the Emergency ward, and I get an entertaining story.

My best guess as to what is on the Canadian nurses cake - an old fashioned pink enema bag and a zebra striped band-aid. They have all kinds of band-aids now, you can view some on this website: http://fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=2331&cat=311

I think the object on top of the Canadian cake is a huge tie, not a water bottle. The thing is, whatever it is, why is it so darn huge compared to everything else? Awesome cakes though. Makes me want to make a cake and take it to the local hospital this week.

Okay, a part of me loves the way too true to life pregnancy cake--but I could never eat it! And to clear up the monitor confusion. The straps are BOTH for ONE baby. Not twins and not one for baby and one for mom. One of them monitors the baby's heartbeat and the other one monitors the contractions.

And there are WAY too many butt cakes!! I agree there's something disturbing coming out from under the "straw" thermometer and please tell me what the heck is going on with the one with a million sticks/thermometers/candles?! At first I saw it as a part of the male anatomy...wreckerators really need to include legs on these things!!

As a high-risk obstetrical nurse I LOVE that first cake. I see other nurses got the fetal monitors, the amni-hook, the packets of lube, but I think someone missed the long line of an epidural coming out the back. Good stuff. I must order that for our next department party!

Pregnant cake...toco(blue) for contractions US(pink) for fetal heart rate.that's one low kiddo btw. the black looking line at the bottom is a fetal scalp electrode.(good catch) there is also a pair of exam gloves on the side of the cake near the amni hook.there is also more ky than you can shake a stick at. the ekg electrode are kind of woogie in their placement. hmm. wish our nurse manager would get our unit a cake like this for nurses week.

Okay as another mom of boy/girl twins...there is not way that is a belly with twins! I don't care how many monitors there are (and someone did correctly point out there would be one more), the belly needs to be a lot bigger! (And thankfully I don't have that many stretch marks!)

"Congratulations..." on getting a thermometer stuck where the sun doesn't shine??

I know it's supposed to congratulate two newly-minted nurses, but eeeeek. I guess if I were a nurse I'd find it hysterically funny! =)

I have nothing but respect for nurses. I had gallbladder surgery a few years back and my nurses were all fantastic. I blabbed on and on, higher than a kite before the surgery, and they just smiled and nodded!

Those are hilarious! and freaky...and gross. The first one--what realistic stretch marks! Jen, she's in labor most likely and those are all the monitors that strap to her to monitor her and the baby (heartrate, etc.)

The hairy butt with the straw would have made me choke! Thank goodness I wasn't having lunch. Your commentary is hilarious as usual, btw! Poor Charlotte and Anna. Their names and congratulations are written in the same poo brown and blood red as the stuff oozing out from the straw, er, thermometer.

The butt "where no man has gone before" with the candles in the anus i hilarious. it looks like it's "blowing" a party favor.

bloody bandaids? seriously? blech! that would work for daycare teachers or school nurses, too.

I'm so glad that I just finished eating before moving onto Cake Wrecks in my reader. Funny though!! I would have a hard time stomaching (no pun intended) eating those cakes and cupcakes with old bandaids. ew!

I can't believe how well-made that intestines cake is. However, I just recently watched George Romero's Day of the Dead, and can't help thinking that it would have been appropriate at a wrap party for that movie (albeit with a lot of translucent red icing on it...)

Anonymous said... "I hate to say it, but me and my roommate were both thoroughly convinced for several minutes that the "boldly go" bum cake was an ejaculating penis."******Belonging to WHAT, a porcupine?

Mmkay, fun and games aside, it's actually kind of not cool for bakers or anyone to make fake pills and put them on display like candy. It's bad enough that so many pills look like candy and vice versa. It's hard enough to teach our little kids the difference without people confusing it on purpose.

Susan said... "...Who in the world could actually eat those."------They (nurses) see blood, crap, puke, and who-knows-what-else every day.If they can deal with the real thing, then eating these (w)re(ck)-creations should be a piece of cake. And so it is. ;) (I've got to stop looking at the limp-whatsis-intestine cake; it's making me crave kielbasa.)=^u.u^=

Other commenters have already said everything I was going to say (all the accoutrements on the first cake have been correctly identified now, and I do have to make sure the nurses on L&D have seen this!), but I do have to say that those are the best stretch marks I have ever seen on a cake.

Also the best small and large intestine I have ever seen on a cake.

We'll gloss over the fact that these are the ONLY intestines and stretch marks I've seen on cakes (I think: unless I'm repressing the memory of prior Cake Wrecks). But they really are quite good, for their kind!

As an RN who had a terrible night at work in the ER last night, I have to say "Thank's!" for the excellent laughs! Made me feel much better...and I'm so doing those bloody bandaid cupcakes for work next year!

I actually think the cupcakes witht he pills on them are kinda neat... yeah, I know, I'm weird.I never understood why people would want to eat anyting that looks like an ass. Is the though of eating something full of fecal matter so appealing?

Awesome!! As an RN, I can confidently say I would not only love a cake like that as a nurses' week tribute, but would totally eat any of them without flinching. Nice work!

In regards to the mysterious "boldly go..." cake, it looks to me like the radiation rods they use (hopefully now "used to use") for colon cancer. The rods each have radioactive isotope in them and are placed specifically in and around the tumor. The patient can only lie on a side or belly while they are in place. I saw them used a couple times while I was in nursing school in the late 90's and it certainly left an impression. The poor patients really looked like they had a porcupine coming out if their nether-regions.

I call dibs.. on being the first to run out the door screaming like a banshee if I ever get presented with a cake butt with a straw/thermometer coming out of it. The first cake is creepy enough with the pregnant belly and monitors and stuff but the straw out the butt takes the cake.. literally to the trash dump.

I am with you about being confused on the first one. I see the fetal heart monitor & one for the contractions on the belly & the amnio hook & was like ok. but then I noticed the wire that one would assume is for an internal monitor and that's where they lost me. You don't usually do both types of monitoring at once...

Hahahah, oh dear, I thought the first bum one was actually a... erm... element of the male anatomy, splattering forth. The second bum one though - we have an actual turd, I do believe! Hurrah! Chocolate poop! (and blood... strawberry flavoured anal blood...). Is it a special diet cake, cos I certainly wouldn't want to eat it!

I"m the baker who made Charlotte's (my daughter) and Anna's (her best friend since kindergarten) homemade cake, and yes, they had just graduated nursing school. It's an orange cake, the thermometer is a huge candy-making one, that's a TOOTSIE ROLL underneath it, and the 'hair' is a Hershey's Special Dark run through cheese grater. :-D

They and their guests LOVED the cake!Thanks for including it on Cakewrecks---made my day!

I love these cakes! The pregnancy one and the GI one are beautifully done. A bit concerned about the footless blow up doll nurse with the fainting fellow (he may be enjoying that shot a bit much!!)... although I have friends who react the same way John does to needles. All I need to say is the word "needle" and one turns green and woozy. Of course I'd *never* tease anyone like that .

I'm Canadian, but not a nurse, so can't help explain that cake.

And as for the cupcakes: that's MY kind of way of popping pills!!

PS A friend of mine is at the end of her pregnancy, and her (huge) belly's still an "innie", so it's possible.

All those cakes are fabulous! As an RN I can tell you that almost nothing ruins my appetite! Especially for cake! I love them all...The only thing I can ever remember making me sick was looking at a kitty litter cake...that was just gross.

hahahahhahah I just got the title!!! wrecked em.... snortling like a juvenile parakeet.....

I have to say this though- the GI nurse cake....not a lot of people would have attemted that bad boy. I mean, considering that came from a regular old store, that isn't so bad. Frankly, I'd get one of those and have at it. I love me some frosted colon mini bites.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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