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The blind stares of a million pairs of third eyes
Lookin’ hard but they don’t realize
That they will never see
Reality

Who am I? I ain’t nothin’ but a tour guide
Usin’ science like an x-ray to see into your mind
I’m a voracious reader and a ruthless questioner
So if you hate the way I see things, don’t shoot the messenger!
But I’m not gonna lie, I get a personal thrill
Whenever I see science get popularized
So no, I’m not objective; good thing science
Has a something called a “method” that we can use to cross-reference
And acquire knowledge that’s really authentic
That’s how we know the solar system is heliocentric
And that’s how we know Charles Darwin’s theory was right
And every living creature is connected through the tree of life
Yeah, welcome to the future baby, a time when science
Is even illuminating the roots of human behaviour
So why do fish swim well and birds fly well?
For the same reason human beings lie to themselves

You can’t see me – which means you can’t clock me
You can’t tell which parts of my signal are costly
You can’t see me – which means you can’t test me
Your cheater detection instincts can’t detect me
You can’t see me – I’m the invisible gorilla
The blind spot in your vision that your mind has to fill up
You can’t see me – but if you can’t see me
Just imagine what else you can’t see

So just close your eyes when you listen to rap
And you’ll find a microcosm of the human mental map
Everything from costly signals to kin selection
‘Cause face it, you can’t see your motives with introspection
That’s simply how the human mind has been designed
That’s why my mom thinks that I’m the greatest rapper alive
That’s evolution – it’s genetic nepotism
And yes, rap is a sexually-selected exhibition
That’s why rappers are so obsessed with fornicating
Maybe high-status males just prefer short-term mating
And if you don’t think status is real, just think back
To the last time you had a rejection, how did it feel?
Whether a job application or a chat with the person next to you
Having status is having people say ‘yes’ to you
So how do I get you to say ‘yes’ to me as a rap guide?
Should I get a PhD or swing more to the gangster side?

Yeah, you can’t see me – so just close your eyes
And let my identity be a total surprise
So you can’t see me – yeah I’m jamming the signal
Who cares what I look like? Don’t be so judgmental
You can’t see me – and what if I claimed
That I was from the streets, just tryin’ to get outta the game?
You can’t see me – and what if I said
That I just freestyle all these lyrics off the top of my head?

You can’t see me, so you can’t quite say that I’m lyin’
But your mind is calculating to decide if it’s worth replyin'
And if you call me a liar, that’s ‘strong reciprocity’
Altruistic punishment, sacrificing to stop a cheat
And if you claim to believe, that’s an early adoption
And you get to earn respect if I turn out to be awesome
See, every time we actively choose, status accrues
And every choice is a trust that others have a chance to abuse
And that’s why we inhabit the world of cheater detection
And that’s why costly signaling is naturally selected
‘Cause every organism only perceives what it needs
For survival and reproduction, like ultraviolet for bees
And sonar for bats, there’s so much we can’t see
But the one thing we have evolved to catch is cheats
‘Cause people act like cheats to advance their genes
When means the one place I can’t turn my gaze is: back at me

You can’t see me – or maybe you can, hell
I might as well be talkin’ to my damn self
When I say you can’t see me – so to the whole human race
You can pray and meditate until you’re blue in the face
But you still can’t see me – call me “human nature”
Without using evolution as an illuminator
You can’t see me – it’s an act of defiance
An alliance between rap and rationalism
‘Cause only science can see me

Track Name: Hypothesis 1 (Creationism)

Darwinism is just preposterous
Richard Dawkins and the rest of his apocalyptic posse
Just use biology to advance their hateful atheist doctrines
But the bible teaches us that human nature is fallen
Because we fell into temptation with original sin
That’s why rap music is all about “bitches and rims”
Rappers are just giving in to their God-given
Sensual whims, and the Devil is watching with a wicked grin
Evolution isn’t just a failed theory with a lack of proof
It’s also a direct attack on moral absolutes
Without the bible you can’t even say Hitler was bad for the Jews
So if you’re a fan of Darwin, you’re a fan of the Nazis too
At best, evolution is just a useful metaphor
For man’s God-given ability to change and choose a better course
So don’t even bother showing me the bones of a stegosaurus
It probably died in the flood, which the fossil record supports

Track Name: No Bugs On Me

Now the monkey swings by the end of his tail
As he flies from tree to tree
Well there may be monkey in some of you guys
But there ain’t no monkey in me

And there ain’t no bugs on me
There ain’t no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain’t no bugs on me

Yeah, there ain’t no bugs on me
Just on you liberal freaks…

Who says science and religion will never harmonize?
When science explains religion then we’ll have a compromise
But not the specific magical claims
I’m talkin’ about the relevant psychological states
Like, for instance, why is Darwinism such a toxic
Proposition for conservative religions
But not for liberal religions like Episcopalianism
See, it’s not the religion, it’s the conservatism
So what’s the difference between conservatives and liberals?
Moral psychologists have a definition that’s simple
Liberals like myself are just higher in a stable
Personality trait known as ‘openness to experience’
We think novelty’s great – new people, new places,
New types of food, new lovers whenever someone
Inspires the mood, and it might seem like this life is a dream
But novelty is the place where parasites breed
Which gives us a delicious little testable prediction
For the scientific method to consider
Namely that openness to experience and liberalism
Should be influenced by micro-organisms
In your environment, and does the evidence agree?
Man, you wouldn’t believe how much your political leanings
Can be predicted by the local threat of infectious disease
So all my social conservatives sing!

There ain’t no bugs on me
There ain’t no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain’t no bugs on me

So let’s celebrate every universal of humanness
Like the fact that xenophobia is an immune defense
Where the brain gets a signal from the lymphatic system
That says: “Be afraid of anything that’s dramatically different”
And fundamentalism is the same kinda fear
Dangerous bugs, dangerous people, and Darwin’s dangerous idea
But it’s not about intellect – well, if you wanna get picky
Openness correlates with intelligence moderately
But I have creationist cousins, and they’re as smart as whips
And they think I’m retarded for being a Darwinist
And maybe I am retarded, maybe my liberalism
Is like a form of autism, like my brain is disconnected
From traditional ethics, ‘cause I’m always disrespecting
Apparently arbitrary religious messages
Like when a devout jew or muslim says the blood of a menstruating
Woman is unclean, what the hell does that mean?
Is it somehow different than if she cuts her finger when she’s cookin’
And bleeds? How is it immoral if it doesn’t hurt someone?
I just don’t get it, to me blood is blood
And ladies, I’m down to prove it when it’s time to cut a rug
If you’re bleeding and horny, just give me a warning and we’ll
Put a towel down to save the sheets and go ‘til three in the morning
Ugh, no wonder conservatives hate godless liberals
So all my Tory brethren sing along, and it goes…

There ain’t no bugs on me
There ain’t no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain’t no bugs on me

Yeah, the modern liberal is a recent mutant
A novelty-seeking novelty of evolution
But don’t you start feelin’ too much like the X-Men
‘Cause I can test your openness with targeted questions
Like for instance – imagine your family dog dies
And you all decide to memorialize the poor old guy
By eating him stir-fried, are you on the wrong side
Of the moral equation, and if not one is harmed, why?
As a committed liberal I can see both sides
But everyone has a bit of a conservative bias
‘Cause those who don’t get naturally deselected
Like for instance, pregnant women are measurably
More xenophobic in their first trimester
‘Cause the fetus gives them an immuno-compromised system
So next time you listen to Nick Griffin or Glenn Beck
And you get vexed, like “fuck this little hate-monger insect!”
Just think of it as an immune system imbalance
Like a pregnant woman who pukes every time she eats salads
And if you wanna see the end of oppression in Palestine
Or homophobia in Uganda, or female genital mutilation
In the Sudan, well then maybe the answer
Is water sanitation and a vaccination agenda
So let’s all just sing along to the words of wisdom
It’s the germ theory of conservatism

There ain’t no bugs on me
There ain’t no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain’t no bugs on me

Track Name: David Buss Message

Hey Baba, David Buss here. Just reading over your lyrics for your cool new album, Human Nature, and I really love it, but one line struck me, the line about the blood of a menstruating woman being unclean. Well, there’s a very fascinating evolutionary theory about the function of menstruation by Margie Profet. Basically what she argues is that sperm are a disease vector that pathogens and other disease organisms use to hitchhike their way into the female reproductive tract, and that menstruation basically functions to expel those disease organisms and pathogens. So if she’s right then the menstrual blood of women is actually different form the blood you get when you cut your finger. Anyway, just thought you might want to know about this. Take care, bye.

Track Name: Hypothesis 2 (Spiritualism)

Evolution is a beautiful, unifying vision
But when science gets too ambitious, it shades into “scientism”
If you take the time to listen to enlightened mystics
Like the Dalai Llama, you’ll see, there’s other kinds of wisdom
What can Darwin teach me about the transcendental experiences
I’ve found through meditation, or the boundless mysteriousness
Of existence? What? That I’m just delirious
And it’s just an illusion that corresponds to certain neurological areas?
C’mon, let’s be serious; it’s not all in the cerebellum!
Human nature has a physical level, and a spirit level
And the transcendent is imminent in the material – it’s very subtle
But it’s a theory for which science has no clear rebuttal
Consciousness came before matter, not vice versa, and it’s
Only through love and compassion that the spirit side emerges
And rappers are channeling that spirit when they recite their verses
But all the sex and violence, well, that’s biological urges

I was raised with a spade in my hand – ecosystem
Restoration is the game that my fam plays
Reforestation of our native land – pine, larch
Spruce, fir – the species we mainly plant
Rappers wanna brag about a seven figure salary
I’ve planted seven figures worth of trees by hand
With ten fingers in the dirt since the age of seventeen
If you ask me, I’ll be like, yeah, that’s a G
Planting trees is kinda like the game of life
You get paid for your efforts and never paid for your time
Yeah, it’s piecework, so there’s a rat-race side
You gotta hustle if you wanna make your pay-cheque nice
But it’s team-work, ‘cause you’re workin’ with a crew
And you gotta coordinate with the person next to you
‘Cause the decisions that you make affect them too
And efficiency is created by collective rules
See, you’re following a line of trees on one side
And there’s another line of trees that you’re leaving behind
And the space between trees is three meters wide
It’s like watching a game of Pac-man played in rewind
And the goal is to never have to cross over trees
Just fill the open space on the block economically
And never make another planter walk over trees
‘Cause we go at different speeds, so don’t cut me off please!

If I cheat and you don’t cheat then I profit
If you cheat and I don’t cheat then you profit
So we both cheat, so we can each keep somethin’
But where did all the non-cheaters go?

If you don’t cheat, and I don’t, the team profits
And people on teams can achieve some deep pockets
The cheats won’t beat us as long as we keep watchin’
So if you cheat, we’re gonna know

It’s like a sophisticated game of follow the leader
Where the lead player changes every couple of meters
And everybody’s watching for cheaters, if you’re awful eager
To plant the soft easy ground, then we’ll call you a “creamer”
‘Cause there’s rocks and fallen trees and piles of branches
And swamps and weeds, and nice lines of trenches
And it’s easy for opportunists to try to take advantage
Of co-operative units to advance their own interests
So how do we regulate? Hmm, in several ways
But reputation is the most effective way
We swim in a sea of gossip, and we punish reprobates
With the threat of the loss of their option to participate
We got groups within groups, the truck is a six pack
But a lot of people like to work in pairs so they can chit chat
And we live in camps of several dozen who interact
On a daily basis, yeah, it’s quite a mish mash
And sometimes we seem to move with a group mind
Like a flock of birds, a school of fish, or a pride of lions
But that’s just the illusion of top-down design
Welcome to sociobiology, the new science
The coordination comes from simple local rules
That combine to produce the most cogent moves
At multiple levels, from genes to social groups
The same way your neurons compose you

If I cheat and you don’t cheat then I profit
If you cheat and I don’t cheat then you profit
So we both cheat, so we can each keep somethin’
But where did all the non-cheaters go?

If you don’t cheat, and I don’t, the team profits
And people on teams can achieve some deep pockets
The cheats won’t beat us as long as we keep watchin’
So if you cheat, we’re gonna know

It’s the prisoner’s dilemma, you’ve been charged with a crime
But you get off scot free if you snitch and drop dime
And if your partner snitches on you, you’re knocked for life
So you both snitch, and you both do hard time
If only you had some kind of “code of the streets”
Some way to punish cheats – you could both go free
Ironically, the challenge is acting pro-socially
So we probably shouldn’t model it with cut-throat thieves
The point is about where your interests lie
If you’re locked up, well then they’re just outside
But in modern society we live cooperative lives
And cooperatives are the best place to catch free rides
So who’s “pimping the system” and who’s snitchin’?
In game theory terms, “snitchin’” means defection
From a collective, along with the loss of its protection
It’s the “tragedy of the commons” the hip-hop edition
‘Cause a gangster whose motto is “stop snitchin’"
Is a snitch from the perspective of honest citizens
And the Kyoto accord is a dilemma for prisoners
Of this planet, and those who block it are snitches
But the system only works if the members see an active
Distribution of benefits, and graduated sanctions
Just like the tree-planters, ‘cause whatever the endeavor
Life is just an iterated prisoner’s dilemma

If I cheat and you don’t cheat then I profit
If you cheat and I don’t cheat then you profit
So we both cheat, so we can each keep somethin’
But where did all the non-cheaters go?

If you don’t cheat, and I don’t, the team profits
And people on teams can achieve some deep pockets
The cheats won’t beat us as long as we keep watchin’
So if you cheat, we’re gonna know

The prisoner’s dilemma is part cooperation
And part competition, it’s an elegant model
For the evolution of social behaviour
It’s a cross between “turn the other cheek”
And “an eye for an eye”
And the better we understand it
The better our chances of surviving
So how do you punish cheats, huh?
Oh, you don’t punish cheats?
Shame on you! Shame!

Track Name: Hypothesis 3 (Social Constructivism)

Of course evolution is true!
It’s one of the central planks of the modern humanist view
And science is an important tool if you wanna fly to the moon
But on the subject of human nature, Darwin is decidedly mute
Why? Because humans evolved language and culture
And for these things, biological explanations falter
Because behaviour can be altered in infinite ways
So the brain is like a lump of clay just waiting for a sculptor
That’s why sociobiology is so dangerous!
Instead of celebrating the diversity of human symbols and languages
They think it’s all chained to genetic entanglements
Which means there’s no room for change and constant moral evasiveness
If rap is based on human nature then we’re basically fucked!
Just prostitutes and gangsters and thugs
There’s so much more we’re capable of! No way
It’s racist capitalism and patriarchy that makes it so ugly

Track Name: She's Ovulating

She’s ovulating – if she was a stripper
I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her
She’s ovulating – she’s dressed so provocative
My histocompatibility complex is majorly
Intoxicating – girl, I’m so symmetrical
But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill
Instead of ovulating – I’m not tryin’ to conceive with you
But right now something makes me wanna be with you

You want a job done fast, you want a job done cheap
You want a job done well, you gotta pick two out of three
‘Cause the price goes up when demand swells
So if your contractor has skills, he pads his bills
And if you don’t like it, build the porch your damn self
Fast and cheap and headed for the landfill
And it might sound ruthless, but what’s true for
Someone trying’ to get their roof fixed, is true for sex
And not just human sex, the cost of mating
Is a price that evolution sets
‘Cause high-value mates are always in demand
But there’s a bit of an imbalance between a woman and man
How come? Because of the outcome
Alright, let’s make a deal – I’ll give you an ounce of spunk
And one night of childish fun, and you give me
Nine months of your life, and when the child comes
It takes a few decades to show the kid how it’s done
Oh, what, you want help? Um…
Yeah, I have a few ounces of spunk left to spread around, hon
You know, ninety-nine problems, but this ain’t one
What? The deal’s off? Why? Just ‘cause you’ve got
Fifty other guys tryin’ to undercut the price?
Just because you’re contributing hundreds of times
More resources to this otherwise equally shared enterprise?
Okay, fine, what’s your counter-offer then?
You want me to promise never to sleep with another woman again
As long as I live? And if I did? Oh, what, you’d probably forgive
As long as I didn’t fall in love with her
And have a bunch of other kids – oh, what, there’s more?
You also want me to invest every possible resource
In you and the kids, and pay for education and team sports
And shit? What do I look like, a fuckin’ seahorse?
Oh, what, you’ll do the same, huh? Well, you kind of have to
It’s your limitations that I’m trying to adapt to
You’re not the one with the potential to inseminate
The entire planet if only you had the chance to, yeah, thank you
Yeah, me and every other guy, right, yeah, I get it
Our resources are worthless, because they’re practically unlimited
Which puts us in a shit negotiating position
Like slave labour in the insemination business

She’s ovulating – if she was a stripper
I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her
She’s ovulating – she’s dressed so provocative
My histocompatibility complex is majorly
Intoxicating – girl, I’m so symmetrical
But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill
Instead of ovulating – I’m not tryin’ to conceive with you
But right now something makes me wanna be with you

Alright, I have one final card to play before we make deal
You know, every ounce of spunk is not created equal
Some of it will give you smarter kids, some of it will give you
Hardier kids whose immune systems give them longer to live
And you have this fertility cycle that gives you subtle clues
About who to choose, so this is all just a ruse
To convert my mating effort into parental solicitude
Oh, what am I gonna do about it? Well, there’s nothing I can do
But it’s true! ‘Cause you don’t make it simple like a chimp, no!
You could have evolved a pink swollen genital symbol
Advertising your fertility window, but no!
And I know why too! It’s to keep a guy limbo
You’re so deceitful, I don’t believe it!
It’s like you have a biological non-disclosure agreement
To maintain your competitive edge and get repetitive sex
From the same guy long enough to see your genetic relatives fledged
‘Cause if I knew exactly when you were ovulating
Well then good luck negotiating any long-term arrangements
But you don’t even know, that’s the impressive bit
Yeah, but can you pin it down without arithmetic?

She’s ovulating – if she was a stripper
I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her
She’s ovulating – she’s dressed so provocative
My histocompatibility complex is majorly
Intoxicating – girl, I’m so symmetrical
But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill
Instead of ovulating – I’m not tryin’ to conceive with you
But right now something makes me wanna be with you

Okay, so you don’t exactly know when it is
But we can measure it and how it affects your preferences
See, I’ve been reading up on you scheming sluts
And there’s a method to your madness, and yeah, it’s devious
What changes is your preference for specific traits
And the relative weight you assign them in potential mates
When you hit peak fertility, suddenly you’re into symmetry
And guys with no resources but high creativity
When just a week before you were all about liquidity
And suddenly now it’s what? Facial masculinity
And fantasizing about infidelity? – Pathetic!
These are obviously adaptations to maximize the genetic
Quality of your offspring at the expense of wannabe
Fathers, who provide the benefits of monogamy
Well I’m onto your little scheme, and I’m gonna put a stop to it
How? My plan is in effect right now
It’s called the “oral contraceptive pill”
And no, it’s not a trick – the benefits are real
Basically it takes everything that makes you adaptively moist
And replaces it all with rational choice
When you’re on it, you can’t smell histocompatibility
So your kids’ immune systems might end up a little weak
But think about the benefits, please!
All the non-masculine, asymmetrical men can breed!
And now your infidelity can be about trading-up
Instead of trying to get pregnant by a stud
We can all relate to trading-up, fine, fair enough
It’s just paternity uncertainty that tears us up
‘Cause we understand the facts on the ground
It’s kind of like hiring a contractor for your house
You can’t get it done well and fast, and cheap
You almost always have to choose two out of three
And ladies, it seems like the man of your dreams
Has good resources, good behaviour, and good genes
But unless you’re name happens to be Angelina Jolie
You might just have to choose two out of three
Just be careful who you choose when you’re pill poppin’
I understand that reproductive choice feels awesome
But if you don’t ovulate then you can’t smell a match
And mismatched relationships just don’t tend to last

She’s ovulating – if she was a stripper
I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her
She’s ovulating – she’s dressed so provocative
My histocompatibility complex is majorly
Intoxicating – girl, I’m so symmetrical
But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill
Instead of ovulating – I’m not tryin’ to conceive with you
But right now something makes me wanna be with you

Track Name: Short-Term Mating Dance

Assembling in these dense colonies
Provides the social stimulation
That is the key to coordinating their breeding

Tonight’s documentary presentation
Will explore the short-term mating behaviour
Of one of the most remarkable creatures in all creation
The Homo sapien
Homo sapiens, also known as “humans”
Generally mate in pairs, creating the illusion
Of a monogamous constitution
But the truth is slightly more elusive
As is often the case as evolution advances
The preferred strategy depends on circumstances
And scientists, seeking answers
Look to these elaborate courtship dances
Males and females congregate
In large colonies to display their traits
They often fail to find long-term mates
But so much flesh will not go to waste

And it’s now that the advantages
Of breeding in such dense colonies become clear
We’ve got a short-term mating dance
Up in here, up in here, up in here
They’ve come to breed
We’ve got a short-term mating dance
Up in here, up in here, up in here

Note the sexual dimorphism
The enlarged male form is invariably caused
By competition for female attention
Charles Darwin called this “sexual selection”
But the females also compete
For male parental investment
For this species, like no other
Has a grotesquely prolonged adolescence
Given this fact of developmental anatomy
Some have questioned whether a naturally-
Selected short-term female mating strategy
Could even exist, but in fact, it’s mathematically
Certain, for, every short-term copulation
That results in conception requires the participation
Of one male and one female, hence
There must be a mutual inclination

And it’s now that the advantages
Of breeding in such dense colonies become clear
We’ve got a short-term mating dance
Up in here, up in here, up in here
Females can make their choice from many males
While successful males can have access
To lots of females

One theory is short-term mating
For long-term gain, females may appraise
The quality of mates from a single liaison
To decide whether to allow them to stay on
Concealed ovulation allows frequent mating
With little fear of conception
And keeps males guessing – those who excel
In dominance competitions enjoy short-term preference
Which suggests that it’s all about the father’s genetics
The best ones for feathering the nest
And providing temporary protection, may not be
The best ones for siring sexy sons
But of course, this can be dangerous
The scientific study of Homo sapiens
Is rather recent, so we can only speculate
On the reasons for much of their extraordinary behaviour

And it’s now that the advantages
Of breeding in such dense colonies become clear
We’ve got a short-term mating dance
Up in here, up in here, up in here
They’ve come to breed
We’ve got a short-term mating dance
Up in here, up in here, up in here
They’ve come to breed
We’ve got a short-term mating dance
Up in here, up in here, up in here
They’ve come to breed
After a few days, this gigantic spawning
Comes to an end

My beautiful producer I just wanna make music
With you, sir; I know you’ve been with some seducers
Some “super MCs” who just wanna spit lyrics
On your tracks and leave, but man, that’s not me!
I’ll be with you ‘til it’s done, but this ain’t no hit and run
You can run and tell your friends that you’ve met someone
Different, and not another prima donna tryin’ to treat you like a
Conquest, I wanna make a long-term investment
Why? ‘Cause I understand my producer’s plight
All a rapper has to do is say some lyrics through the mic
And they’re gone like it’s all fun, but in the long run
Without producers, no MCs would get their songs done
It’s like the birds and bees; words are like sperm for MCs
And we need producers to nurture our seeds
‘Cause it’s after we come together that the magic happens
That’s when you’re mastering and fiddling with your mad little plug-ins
And that’s why I love you, and I wanna commit
‘Cause you’re the perfect producer for me, so I hope we never split
‘Cause if we ever did, you might find a more famous MC
But you’ll never find another rapper as dedicated as me

Whoever stands to lose their investment
By assumin’ the risk will be the choosiest
I get producers pregnant
It’s just a simple prediction made by evolution
Put it to the test
But I’m tryin’ to get committed
Females invest more resources
Except for seahorses and a few exceptions
Such as Mormon crickets
And me and my producer, when we make this music
We’re guided by parental investment
And so are men and women

Look, I know some rappers have tried to prostitute you
And pay you a daily rate for your studio, but this is not what you’re used to
And I know I’m not the only one who wants your exclusive attention
But you’ve gotta admit man, we have huge potential
You and me – we make music beautifully
And you would make me the happiest rapper on this planet by choosing me
And telling the competition you’re taken
I will do everything in my power to advance your situation
And besides, those other rappers treat you like a nasty slut
So pull you pants up and embrace romantic love!
I’m sorry, I just get so jealous when I think on it
I like the way your finger toggles so much I wanna put a ring on it
And if you make a song and you need somebody to sing on it
I understand I can’t sing, so we’ll get some swingers in on it
As long as we’re being honest, no arrangement is perfect
So it’s okay if I’m not the last rapper you ever work with
And I might spit some verses on another producer’s tracks
But I will see our projects through to the last until they’re mastered
And even after that I will never take you for granted
Because I recognize your investment, Jamie, and I aim to match it

Whoever stands to lose their investment
By assumin’ the risk will be the choosiest
You’re so choosy Simmonds
It’s just a simple prediction made by evolution
Put it to the test
But I’ve read Bob Trivers
Females invest more resources
Except for seahorses and a few exceptions
You’ve been kinda promiscuous
And me and my producer, when we make this music
We’re guided by parental investment
But I’ma get you pregnant

So what is the actual definition of male and female?
The females have the larger gametes, the larger sex cells
And Jamie, your studio is larger than my microphone
So you’re the woman in this relationship…

Whoever stands to lose their investment
By assumin’ the risk will be the choosiest
So I’ma get committed
It’s just a simple prediction made by evolution
Put it to the test
Go ahead and check it out
Females invest more resources
Except for seahorses and a few exceptions
Like Mormon crickets, right
And me and my producer, when we make this music
We’re guided by parental investment
We’re gonna get invested

Whoever stands to lose their investment
By assumin’ the risk will be the choosiest
You’re kinda choosy Simmonds
It’s just a simple prediction made by evolution
Put it to the test
But we goan get committed
Females invest more resources
Except for seahorses and a few exceptions
Like some kinds of fishes
And me and my producer, when we make this music
We’re guided by parental investment
We’re gonna get committed

Track Name: The Evolution of Gayness

No homo
Boom bye bye in the batty boy head
No homo and I’m all about my money
The shots fly, now the batty guy lie dead

They say “No homo!” I say “No, homophobe,
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes”
They say “But my religion says it’s a sin”
I say “Sell your daughter into slavery then”
They say “It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy”
I say “Actually it’s found in four-hundred species
“But same-sex mating is an aberration”
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness

Natural selection offers explanations for
Every behaviour and complex form
That’s something I often say when I’m on a stage
And people always say “okay, but what about the gays?”
Yup, there’s no exceptions, only limitations
To how much information we’ve accumulated
So far at least on each specific question
The origins of “gayness” is one of the best ones
Twin studies suggests that it’s partially genetic
But if that’s a definite, then how would you spread it?
Ooh, that’s why I love science, ‘cause it loves a mystery
How can you spread a gene that limits your fertility?
Many different threads of evidence are coalescent
But so far it’s just suggestive with no consensus
Still, it kinda illustrates the scientific method
So I’ll break down the top four hypotheses in question

They say “No homo!” I say “No, homophobe,
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes”
They say “But my religion says it’s a sin”
I say “Sell your daughter into slavery then”
They say “It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy”
I say “Actually it’s found in four-hundred species
“But same-sex mating is an aberration”
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness

Hypothesis one: gays are a non-reproductive caste
Like we find in termites and naked mole rats
To me though, that doesn’t seem convincing
‘Cause gay people don’t obsessively feed their breeding siblings
Hypothesis two: it’s a social lubricant
That’s used to smooth tension, instead of fighting we smooch with them
You’ll find guy-on-guy and girl-on-girl action
In bonobos and Asian stump-tailed macaques
And it’s a proven tactic, but they’re just bi-sexual
That’s the third hypothesis: that “homo” is side-effectual
Like with albatrosses, the females mate
With each other when there’s not enough males to pull their weight
But it’s not like “they just can’t find a man and get impatient”
They’re fully same-sex mated – males are for insemination
And maybe lesbians who wanted babies made the same
Exception in the days before IVF and turkey basters
And on the flip side, we’ve got the “sneaky males”
In many species some males mimic females
So they can mate without having to compete with the alphas
Who guard females jealously and treat them like they’re helpless
I mean, ‘come on, I know guys who act gay
Until the girls let their guard down, and then they’re like “heeyyy!”
Which may explain why some of the biggest homophobes
Are alpha gorilla types on a testosterone overdose, who say

No homo
Boom bye bye in the batty boy head
No homo and I’m all about my money
The shots fly, now the batty guy lie dead

Hypothesis four tackles pure homosexual bliss
And it mostly consists of genetic tricks
‘Cause some genes are paired up as recessives and dominants
And dominants, by definition, get expressed with prominence
But sometimes you’re better off with both different types
‘Cause it might, for instance, protect you from parasites
So gayness could spread by heterozygote advantage
If it’s connected to some other benefit that’s adaptive
And a similar path would be for it to get expressed
As a massive benefit, but for the opposite sex
If a gene gave males a homosexual proclivity
But it gave females a massive increase in fertility
Then it could spread with ease, and if you raise objections
And say “genetic explanations are so oppressive”
Would it really be so bad if gays were like albinos?
Maybe you see a justification for hate there, but I don’t
The real haters are those who say "it's just a simple choice"
And preach “rehabilitation,” with their luggage carried by rent boys
If it doesn’t cause harm then it shouldn’t face hatred
So why don’t we just make it 100% okay then?

They say “No homo!” I say “No, homophobe,
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes”
They say “But my religion says it’s a sin”
I say “Sell your daughter into slavery then”
They say “It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy”
I say “Actually it’s found in four-hundred species
“But same-sex mating is an aberration”
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness

Track Name: Olivia Judson Message

Hey Baba, it’s Olivia Judson calling. Thanks for sending me your “Evolution of Gayness” lyrics. I think they’re great – I’m impressed by how much you managed to condense a difficult subject into about four sentences, bravo. But I do have a couple of quibbles. The first thing is to do with recessive and dominant. Not all genes behave in this way; quite a lot don’t. Instead of one gene taking over and being responsible for the main effect, it’s more shared, and both copies of the gene are contributing, so I think you should fix that. And then the other thing is that I think also morality doesn’t come from nature and I think that whether something is found in nature doesn’t make it right for humans; it’s sort of irrelevant. I mean, certainly if you were to look at nature, you could justify pretty much any behavior, from murdering your mother, brether, sister, rape, and so on, and so I think that one has to be very careful about whether we look at the natural world and sort of conclude, okay, well it happens in nature therefore it’s fine for humans to do as well. Obviously I think homosexuality is perfectly fine regardless of who does it, but I think that just because it’s natural does not in and of itself make it the right thing to do. Anyway, thanks again for showing them to me, and good luck. Bye.

Track Name: Hypothesis 4 (Biological Determinism)

Evolution is the only theory that science hasn’t rejected
For the origins of life, and humans are no exception
And if behaviour has a genetic basis and it’s naturally-selected
Then human nature hasn’t changed since the days of Homo erectus
The modern-day skull houses a stone-aged mind
‘Cause achieving major change in a chromosome takes time
You know how kids like sugar on their cornflakes right?
Well, that’s evolution in action – we can follow a straight line
Back to our ancestors’ food preferences and incest-avoidance
And mate preferences, and aversion to ingesting poisons
Evolution even explains why the female chest is so boisterous
So if you think human nature is flexible, get set for disappointment
‘Cause selfish genes lead to selfish behavior
And alpha males impregnate the wives of their helpless neighbors
Human beings are socialized to deny their hellish natures
But we might as well embrace it now, and deal with the outcome later

Track Name: Twin Studies

Twin: Hi, is this, uh, Baba Brinkman?

Baba: Yeah, who’s this?

Twin: Baba Brinkman the “rapping evolutionist”

Baba: Yeah

Twin: I’m not sure how to tell you this
It’s a bit awkward, but, um, I’m your identical twin

Baba: No shit?

Twin: Yeah, I tracked you down with a Google search,
I’ve known for about two years, but I thought
No, it’s just too weird

Baba: What?!? No way, what’s your birthday?

Twin: It’s October 22nd 1978
The same as yours, I tracked you through an adoption agent
I’ve been watching you since about 2008
I can’t say why our biological parents would want to separate us
But anyway, I thought we should, you know, get acquainted

Baba: I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say
I’m shocked, I can’t wait to talk to my mom
And dad and ask them what the hell they were on
Giving up an identical twin for adoption
But I guess they probably had their reasons

Twin: So I guess that means
You’re a pretty easy-going guy, ‘cause I thought you might
You know, be angry, or maybe even cry

Baba: Well, maybe when I see you I might need to dry
An eye but for now I’m just completely surprised
And curious as hell, I mean, what’s the deal?
What do you do, do you have kids, do you take care of yourself?
Are you married? I mean, this is very surreal
Have you ever read about “twin studies”?
It’s, like, the only way we can tell
Which elements of the personalities we develop
Can be called the result of the environmental field
Compared to the part that’s beem genetically built

Twin: Yeah, I’m not so into science, but my job is
That I teach creative writing at a community college
And yeah, I have a little girl, and a beautiful wife
We’ve been married since 2005

Baba: Creative writing?
When you were a kid did your adopted parents
Read to you at night

Twin: No, they weren’t really “book people”, why?

Baba: Oh, it’s just that my dad always likes to take credit
For my success as a rapper, ‘cause he read to me as an infant
But I always wondered whether my language instincts were genetic
And this is evidence

Twin: I really pictured this
Reunion as having a bit more emotional resonance

Twin: I know, I’ve never seen the necessity
My wife tells me it’s an “emotional repression” thing
But I’m not unaffectionate, it just seems excessive to me

Baba: Yeah, that could be a description of me

Twin: Okay, if we’re questioning
What about you, wife, girlfriend?

Baba: No, I’m not really a relationship type of person
I mean, it’s not like an aversion, it’s just that I’m always on tour and
It’s tough to imagine how to even try to work it in

Twin: But rapping, you must get some attention from women

Baba: Attention, sure, but I’m not indiscriminate
I mostly tour colleges campuses, you can picture it
In town for one night, most women just aren’t into it
I mean, there’s been an occasional grad student incident

Twin: My wife is a grad student

Baba: Yeah, well, I’m envious
I wish I could have that kind of connection, intimate
My lifestyle could hardly be more itinerant

Twin: You came to my college, in 2006, you rapped
The Canterbury Tales for the medieval English class

Baba: What? Why didn’t you contact me?

Twin: Because I didn’t know
I only tracked you two years ago, remember?
Plus I was on sabbatical, me and my wife, we had this whole…
That time was stressful

Baba: Oh, sorry bro

Twin: Look, it’s not your fault, it’s just that
I turned into this guy, this safe provider type
And I panicked, and I left my wife, and I moved to the other side
Of the planet, to Europe, but it just didn’t fit me
I was just an anonymous writer in a big city
And I wasn’t confident with women so I lasted six weeks

Baba: And your wife took you back, huh?

Twin: Yup, I guess that’s love
And then nine months later along came little Rebecca

Baba: Nine months later?

Twin: Yeah, give or take
It’s funny how our lives have developed in different ways
I mean, I envy your lifestyle – it looks pretty flat-out
I decided to contact you when I saw you on Rachel Maddow

Baba: Yeah, she’s fantastic… so you and your wife
You’ve been happy since your little European crisis?

Twin: Yeah, she’s a good mother, I’m lucky to have her

Baba: And you’re never tempted to, you know, stray from the pasture?
Hook up with one of your students maybe, I don’t know
Do something crazy?

Twin: Yeah, I’m tempted, occasionally
But it’s a two-way street, right? I mean, basically
How can I trust her if she can’t trust me?

Baba: And you trust her?

Twin: Yes, now, but I’ve had some jealous times
I mean, when Rebecca was like two and half
I took her to the clinic and I got a check-up and I
Asked the doctor to give her a paternity test on the side

Baba: Really, why? Does she have like an “ethnic vibe”?

Twin: No, she looks like me, she’s freckled and white
She was just born a bit quickly after that difficult time
And I didn’t wanna be suspicious, but I…

Baba: Yeah, I was gonna say that next
Okay, look, I have to go, there’s this thing for the Fringe
I’m writing this play about…

Twin: Yeah, Human Nature, yes
I’ve been tracking you through your Facebook friends
I’ll be interested to hear what you have to say about twins

Baba: Yeah, well, as soon as I can, I’ll come visit you

Twin: Okay, Baba, just call me when you’re ready to

Track Name: GOCASE

G stands for “General intelligence”, which
Some people seem to believe doesn’t exist
But common sense suggests that in a contest of wits
We’d all rather have the winners be our family and friends
O stands for “Openness to experience”
It predicts the degree to which you’ll be curious
And interested in difference instead of scared of it
Different people with different ideas in different areas
C stands for “Conscientiousness”, the percentage
Of your mental effort that you put into planning ahead
And managing your work ethic, instead of just letting
Everything drift, things like organizing your desk and shit
A is for “Agreeableness”, that’s the degree to which
You really give a damn if people think you’re being a dick
It’s the adhesive that makes communities stick together
And the number one thing that keeps me from being rich
S is for “Stability”, sometimes confused with
Insensitivity, that’s what keeps you steady
And chillin’ instead of feelin’ weakness and fragility
When life is full of unpredictability
E is for “Extroversion” – extroverts get their energy
From networkin’ and meeting the next person
And extreme introverts require video game addiction services
And die as spinster virgins

Go-Case, Go-Case
Everything I do is so Go-Case
And if you are a Go-Case too
Show me what you got – I want proof
Go-Case, Go-Case
Everything I say is so Go-Case
And if you are a Go-Case too
Show me what you got – I want proof

There’s no need to beat around the bush, if you really wanna
Look closely, then you’ll see what I’m tryin’ to push
It’s ME, rappin’ is a massive display
Of a handful of stable personality traits
And obviously it’s an advertisement of brains
Why would I say otherwise? ‘Cause you guys’ll complain?
But you can’t accuse me of just tryin’ to get mates
‘Cause I’ve made some great creative allies advertising this way
And openness, there’s no idea I’m afraid of
Try me and you’ll see what I’m made of
I’m even open to the notion that some ideas are made-up
That’s why I want the evidence weighed-up
And I’m conscientious enough to wanna translate
Science for the masses and help demolish the blank slate
‘Cause pseudo-science impacts the world in a bad way
It fucks up the feng shui
But I think my agreeableness is going down
With each passing year that rolls around
‘Cause I’m drowning in bullshit, and I refuse to tone it down
Now I’m more stable than ever in the face storm clouds
And extroversion? I’ve been into meeting people
Since I was just an urchin, so the E is motivation for me
Like “ooh, I think this letter’s workin’”
It’s connecting with people that makes the effort worth it

Go-Case, Go-Case
Everything I do is so Go-Case
And if you are a Go-Case too
Show me what you got – I want proof
Go-Case, Go-Case
Everything I say is so Go-Case
And if you are a Go-Case too
Show me what you got – I want proof

I bought a copy of “Spent”, and left it nonchalantly
On the coffee table, so that all of my friends
Would know that I was following psychology trends
But that’s when the arguments got intense
I tried to tell them they were wasting their time
And money on all the stuff they were buying
And that it was all just a bunch of fake signals designed
To take advantage of the instincts in their stone-age minds
But they didn’t wanna listen, they said “That’s not how it works
It’s a competition, you can’t just opt out first
Even if a conversation is a better way to display
Your personality traits than trading your dot-matrix
For an iPad, what if someone comes along
With the exact same conversation skills that I have?
We’ll need a tie-breaker, and that’s when my taste in
Ethical fashion pays me back – that’s my wager
It doesn’t have to make me massively more
Attractive; it just has to increase my chances to score
On average, and help me get my hand in the door
That’s what these brands are for, so have fun
With your consumption tax reform, and tell me when it’s safe
To leave the arms race, huh?” And I got frustrated and said
“Hey fuck-face, you’re acting like a real Stop-Case”
And I got punched in the face, ‘cause I’m a…

Go-Case, Go-Case
Everything I do is so Go-Case
And if you are a Go-Case too
Show me what you got – I want proof
Go-Case, Go-Case
Everything I say is so Go-Case
And if you are a Go-Case too
Show me what you got – I want proof

Track Name: Wannabe G's

Ghetto boys
Die by twenty-five
Or catch a quick three-to-five

From a young white Canadian
Wannabe G’s perspective
Baby baby
Reminiscin’ back
To when I wanted to be part of gangster rap

To be a gangster, or not to be a gangster, that is the question
Do you find it impressive or do you find it offensive?
Well now I find it offensive, but if I go back to the exact moment
My own hormonal clock ticked over into adolescence
God damn! I don’t understand these rules, man
It’s like they’re just designed to hold me back, but gangster rap
Now that seems cool, yeah, that Ice Cube attitude
And 2 Live Crew, like “Unh me so horny” – yeah me too!
I just wanna screw everything that moves, but these high school chicks
Man, is it me or do they only like guys who act like huge dicks?
I’m lookin’ for role models and all I can find is Bruce Willis
And Slick Rick, and my parents want me to plan for the future?
Man, fuck that! What I need is some swagger to compete with these bastards
For female attention – I’m not tryin’ to get a teenager pregnant
But at least me and my henchmen need to be seen as contenders
And these gangsters on TV, man, they could be our secret weapon
I mean, I’m not a killer, but I roll with some pot dealers
So yeah, I’ve got a rebellious side, and I bet lots of these guys
Who live in villas are about as real as the zombies in Thriller right?
Obviously I was vanilla, but I just had this feelin’
This visceral attraction to rap; it was just like I just had to listen
Plus I was an avid mimic, so I guess my gangster obsession
Made me a poster boy for the natural selection of inaccurate perceptions
The evolution of self-deception

Emulating ghetto boys
Even if we’re not in ghetto streets
Exaggerating the threat of violence
It’s a state of mind
That dictates reality

Evolution has no foresight
It moves like a person through a dark forest by torchlight
With no map, no compass, no divine oversight
So we can’t expect it to behave nice or known what’s right
Suppose you knew your death would be on March 17th when you’re 73
What kind of person does evolution predict you would be?
It predicts men will breed slightly more promiscuously and women
Slightly more selectively ‘cause their investment is relatively extreme
But since co-parenting is so very beneficial
To your adorable little genetic vessels, the sexual
Differences are often negligible – what the longevity really predicts
Is a constant investment in your long-term potential
You would plan for the future, and be a contributor to your community
And make a long-term winner out of a short-term loser
Now imagine you knew you would die at thirty-five
What does evolution predict that you would do to survive
And reproduce? If you’re a man, it predicts you would fight
Thug life, fuck the world, yeah, what, ready to die
Why? ‘Cause these young girls get pregnant quick
And if they don’t, well then they don’t get to spend much time with their kids
And they only hook up with the guys that are rich
The ones who cut throats and leave their victims to die in a ditch
So why are adolescents prone to pro-gangster biases?
Maybe because they don’t know how long they’re likely to live

Emulating ghetto boys
Even if we’re not in ghetto streets
Exaggerating the threat of violence
It’s a state of mind
That dictates reality

So what up G, are you a real G or just a studio G?
How many people do I have to body for you to believe?
None really, it’s a front really, I just want you to feel me
In reality I’m a civilian, I think thuggin’ is silly
But if I’m bein’ threatened, then hell yeah I can be aggressive
I’ll fight you straight up, unless you come at me with a weapon
‘Cause weapons are the democratization of physical strength
So I’ll pack a weapon too, except I’ll fill it with blanks
I’ll just use it for threat displays, but if I get tested
Then I’ll get disgraced, so it’s time to go load up the tech and spray
Mutherfuckers like Scarface, yeah, Tony Montana – explode some shells!
My threat level is more effective the less I know myself
‘Cause these dogs can smell fear, so I’m fearless, hell yeah
I’m a twelve-year-old gangster; you better steer well clear
And that’s how you go from a well-intentioned adolescent male
To another thrill-seeking statistic in jail
But hip-hop culture isn’t about causing harm for no reason
In a way it’s an artistic arms-control agreement
I thought it was survival of the fittest, but instead it
Turned out to be survival of the illest lyrics in the minds of listeners
So now my ex-gangster obsession gets exapted
To something less graphic, like trading Gladiator for X-factor
So instead of bellyaching on the generation gap
Why don’t you try bangin’ some gangster rap and see if it takes you back

Track Name: Hypothesis 5 (Evolutionism)

The scope of evolution is truly amazing
It explains so much, from the allure of a beautiful lady
To the taste of food, to the roots of human nature
But if you think it’s just genes duplicating, don’t be too hasty
The genes inside of us out-competed rival genes
And some of them arrived on the scene by violent means
But others arrived by designing minds that dream
And learn how to settle rivalries using things like rhyme schemes
Evolution explains design in nature
As the selective retention of blind variation
And that’s exactly how the mind explores design spaces
And when it finds something nice it says “Damn, I’m creative!”
So it’s time to turn the page on that played out nature
Versus nurture debate, ‘cause every urge, every murderous rage
Aand every peace-making word that we say
Is just the product of one simple process churning away

Track Name: David Sloan Wilson Message

Hey Baba, this is David Sloan Wilson. I’ve read your script – I like it a lot. I don’t agree with everything but I think that everything you say is part of the current mix of possibilities and you’ll be able to find experts such as myself to agree with you. I think it’s important to stress that science is a provisional process; it is a variation and selection evolutionary process just like the rest of culture, and so us scientists get things wrong also, but as yet the best mechanism we have for figuring out the truth. So I hope you can work that into your rap; I think that you’re pioneering, basically the merging of science and everyday life, so best of luck. Bye bye.

Track Name: Fame in the Brain

So many theories of human nature to choose from
So many competing agendas spinning illusions
So many incentives not to let the truth come
Six million ways to lie, choose one

Humans aren’t just culture-bearing blank slates
Our psychology has an innate landscape
So don’t treat a mountain range like a pancake
That’s like tryin’ to stop a bleeder with a band-aid
As a rapper I’m just tryin’ to get a fan-base
And it won’t happen if I suck like a lamprey
I’m not a scientist, baby, I just translate
So don’t trust me ‘cause I’m on a fame campaign

So how does it feel to be classed with other species
Of mammals, and find yourself with an order, family, and genus
Like bats and rhesus monkeys? If your reaction is squeamish
Remember, just ‘cause I said it, you don’t have to believe it
I said “Xenophobia can be traced back to diseases”
You could say “But I hate immigrants for good rational reasons”
Perhaps then we’ve reached an impassable disagreement
But that’s why the scientific method is genius
Ooh the scientific method, it’s the scientific method
You can try to just reject it and deny that it’s impressive
But you’ll find that it’s an excellent device to get your message
Into minds, if you consent to have your hypothesis tested
So if you find evolutionary psych just offensive
You can whine and just try to say “oh, it’s violent and it’s sexist”
And accuse evolutionists of biasing their efforts
That’s called “non-compliance with the scientific method”
You can say my information is wrong, or maybe not
Maybe my interpretation of information is wrong
But c’mon, all I’m really tryin’ to do is make some songs
I’m just tryin’ to get a whole lot of people singin’ along
Why? ‘Cause I find that when I’m thinkin’ my thoughts
And verbalizin’ them, when I say it just right they get caught
Up in your mind just like a virus, and since I was the source
You recognize me and that’s how I get the things that I want

Humans aren’t just culture-bearing blank slates
Our psychology has an innate landscape
So don’t treat a mountain range like a pancake
That’s like tryin’ to stop a bleeder with a band-aid
As a rapper I’m just tryin’ to get a fan-base
And it won’t happen if I suck like a lamprey
I’m not a scientist, baby, I just translate
So don’t trust me ‘cause I’m on a fame campaign

For me the manipulation of words is just a game
But it’s a game that’s influential in some interesting ways
‘Cause when I listen to lyricists and hear just what they’re saying
It’s like their aim is to infiltrate the filters in my brain
In a way you could say that’s the definition of “fame”
Not a physical state, just an impression that remains
Encoded as information in the conscious mental plane
A repetition of a repetition that proliferates
But the pattern of proliferation isn’t arbitrary
It’s an honorary version of Charles Darwin’s theory
Of differential replication, but with your thoughts and queries
‘Cause when people talk, notice how the uptake varies
So hip-hop songs are domesticated commentaries
That evolve by solving problems in conflict areas
They carry us along, kinda like dromedaries
Domesticated by Arabs in response to water scarcity
All these cultural variants reproduce in our minds
But our minds were designed by evolution to blind us
To the truth if lies help us reproduce and survive
That’s why falling out of love is always truly surprising
And that’s why I love rap, but I’m a student of science
‘Cause science is the only system that humans have devised
That lets us step outside of our huge thick biases
And view the world as it is unfalsified

Humans aren’t just culture-bearing blank slates
Our psychology has an innate landscape
So don’t treat a mountain range like a pancake
That’s like tryin’ to stop a bleeder with a band-aid
As a rapper I’m just tryin’ to get a fan-base
And it won’t happen if I suck like a lamprey
I’m not a scientist, baby, I just translate
So don’t trust me ‘cause I’m on a fame campaign