Scotchtastic

Huh. What's this? A random giant package from Reddit? HOLY SHIT IT'S MY SECRET SANTA STUFF! After a quick debate philosophical debate on whether to open it before or on Christmas(which lasted roughly 5 seconds), I tore into the package to get my goodies. And what did my absolutely stellar Santa get me? A freaking whiskey decanter set with 6 glasses and a whiskey stones! The absolute perfect gift! I loaded it up with a 18 year old Speyside and kept going, albeit a bit classier than before. So I reached in and pulled out.... chocolate Monopoly! Which will probably never live to see a game considering how much I love chocolate.....next up, a punny business card holder! Bust this out and all the guys will be like "Look at that subtle off white colouring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god. It even has a watermark!". And I will be promptly stabbed to death. But it would be worth it.

The next present was packed together which was unfortunate. Santa, don't you know that Apples and Oranges have history and don't get along!? Because Apple shanked Orange on the way over here! Poor Orange never even saw it coming. On a different note, Santa, these are clearly not shot glasses. THEY ARE HUGE! Are you trying to get me drunk!? ...because you don't have to wink.

And then Rubber Ducky. Just chilling in there with his pom pom hat and his scarf. Just waiting. and watching. Watching me with those dead eyes. Waiting for me to take a bath. AND THEN BAM! Nothing. Because Rubber Ducky plays it cool like that.

Which brings me to the most awesome gift of all. A HAND KNIT SCARF! Which I am rocking. Such an awesome little present that I absolutely love!

And a teen Vogue. Santa, I clearly remember asking you NOT to judge me. What is this then, pray tell!? WHAT IS THIS IF NOT YOUR JUDGEMENT OH WISE AND ALL SEEING SECRET SANTA! ...also was this yours? : P

...damn, writing this took a long time. Because damn, did my Secret Santa got me a crate-load of awesome gifts.