Young dudes love “LOOK AT ME!!” mods for their econoboxes because they won’t get the attention they crave otherwise. Conversely, adults who can afford “naturally” cool cars like an M5 or an AMG gravitate towards subtle mods or none at all. And the ultra rich? They become teenagers again. Showing up at the golf course in a stock supercar or hypercar is like driving to high school in your mom’s old Sonata.

This was a beautiful LWB autobiography model once. And then someone paid Mansory 5 figures to make it look like this.

These abominations are the millionaire equivalent to cheap lowering springs, sawzall exhaust jobs, and florescent plasti-dip abuse. The wealthy only socialize with each other, so nobody they know is impressed by a run-of-the-mill exotics: “What’s that George? You’ve bought a new Ferrari? Ah yes, the 488. I think my wife drives one of those, but I’m not sure...”

I spotted this gem at German car day last year. Expensive cars look unbelievably good with a tasteful drop and some nice wheels because that’s all they need. Get rid of that banner (just there for the show maybe?) and I’d SO drive this.

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But it seems like for the most part, the kind of people who can afford this sort of thing are so hell-bent on being flashy that they aren’t happy with subtle modifications. It’s hard to believe that people who spec cars like this are even interested in the performance upgrades at all. Changing the driving experience isn’t the point. This kind of heinous trash is for competing with the Joneses.

The Gemballa “Tornado.” I think it speaks for itself.

Everyone in your tax haven needs to know that you’re so rich, you can not only afford to buy a car with a house-sized pricetag, but also afford to pay a “tuning” company more than most people’s cars cost to hose your vehicle down with carbon fiber bits. And that’s fine! It’s their money; money I certainly don’t have, so yes of course I’m a little jealous. But that being said, I also think that the psychology of it all is fascinating and hilarious because the intent is so painfully obvious. Just like the acne-ridden teenager with his 3 foot tall double-decker wing, I don’t think they’re fooling anyone... other than themselves.