Noona Says: Everyone Lies, Even Your Bias

I’m starting to suspect that the Korean entertainment media likes to release a scandal a week, to keep circulation going. One day there will be a quiet week when I can write about silly nonsense, but this is not that week. This week, Jessica is no longer a member of Girls’ Generation.

There have been rumors of unhappy Girls’ Generation members and Jessica’s relationship with a rich Korean-American, but like you, I thought she had gotten hacked when she wrote that SM Entertainment and the other eight members (<- so important! don’t forget this part) kicked her out of Girls’ Generation on September 29. I started getting suspicious when SM Entertainment took their sweet time to respond, and lo and behold, they confirmed it to be true.

Sones took it hard. I remember a few weeks ago I saw a tweet floating around about how Girls’ Generation was the only complete group at the SMTOWN concert and how OT9 would last forever. They thought their beloved girl group would be immune from the SM curse, but they were proven wrong.

That’s the thing: Girls’ Generation would often talk about how close they were and how they wanted to get old together. Check out this interview from January 2013 (Sones might want to grab some tissues first if the wound is too fresh).

You know how this interview ends?

“Yea. We’ll always be ‘Girls’ Generation~’”

I am not saying that they were lying during that interview, because maybe they did really believe that, back then. However, if they were just saying that because they knew that’s what fans wanted to hear, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Because everyone lies in K-Pop. Everyone. Not just Girl’s Generation (Edit: Yes, and Jessica too) and SM Entertainment. Your favorite group. That other big agency.

Here are some common lies that you are told, and the truth behind them:

The Lie: We’re all best friends and I hope we stay together forever.

The Truth: I know you want to believe this because you want to believe that your favorite members are happy with each other, but it’s not that easy. These idols are put together at a young age and forced to spend every hour of the day together. Do you ever get tired of your friends and want some time alone? They get like that, too, except that they can’t just take a break from each other when they want to. Keep in mind that they didn’t choose each other either.

I’m not saying everyone hates each other, but it’s not very realistic to expect everyone to like each other.

The Lie: I only weight XX much and am XX cm tall.

The Truth: Koreans pretty much know celebrities lie on their statistics. Why do you think the celebrities go on the variety show to prove their “real weight” or “real measurements?” It’s because everyone lies about how much they weigh and how tall they are.

If you ever meet a celebrity, get close, and think, “They’re not that short,” just look down at their shoes.

The Lie: Check out my bare-faced selca!

The Truth: Since when did BB Cream and lip tint not count as makeup? Apparently a “no makeup face” means that they didn’t put on eyeliner, eye shadow, and blush. Also, does it count if you filtered most of the color out of the photo?

The Lie: I never had any plastic surgery.

The Truth: These are actual things that Koreans told me weren’t considered plastic surgery: silicon inserts in the nose, getting double eyelids, liposuction, and slitting the corners of the eyes. I guess it’s only plastic surgery if you break bone to get a new nose or jaw. If they said they never had plastic surgery, it doesn’t mean they kept the face their parents gave them.

The Lie: I’ve never had a boyfriend and/or never been kissed.

The Truth: This is one of those lies they say to keep their fans happy. Fans like to believe their idols are innocent virgins who only sing about sex and love. There have been one or two idols who I believed, but for the most part I just roll my eyes. I was a Korean middle school teacher – I saw how young it all starts.

The Lie: We’re not dating.

The Truth: This one is a bit tricky because it has to do with how you define “dating” and the way you translate it. There are several different types of dating in Korea, from the “Some” (There’s “something” between the two) to lovers (The direct translation, which means they are in a loving relationship). But no matter, because fans don’t like it when their bias dates at all. Agencies will just deny it, mostly because it’s just easier. If you go public in a relationship, then you have to publicly announce your break up too. There are some celebrities who are known as serial daters; can you image how many dating and break up announcements there would on a weekly basis? That’s why agencies just deny, until there is photo evidence or the relationship gets serious.

Here’s the disclaimer: There are idols out there who genuinely love their group members, go on shows to prove their measurements, and really never had time for a boy/girlfriend. Everyone lies, but not every thing is a lie.

Why do they lie? To make you happy. They are all “white lies” said to you because that is what you want to hear and see. Because fans get upset when their idols date, get plastic surgery, or even have a bad day, the agencies will lie and tell their idols to lie, too. This is all for you.

CallMeN00NA is an editor at Soompi who really wants to write about the drama she is watching but will have to wait for a quieter week. You can talk to her on Twitter, follow her on Instagram, and ask her questions.

*The opinions expressed in this editorial are solely those of the author.