December 28, 2012

Santa's going to head out onto the water for a relaxing session.So have a great weekend (the last one of the year), and follow Santa's example. Try and make it out onto or into the water this weekend, even if it's just splashing around the bathtub.

December 17, 2012

Santa's a hardcore sailor, you won't see him waiting for the ice to thaw.Valery Shevchenko, 40, dressed as Santa Claus, ice sails on the frozen Bolshoye lake near the village of Parnaya, about 211 miles southwest of Russia’s Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk. (Ilya Naymushin/Reuters)

1. What is the name of the beach where this (altered) photo was taken?a. Waikikib. Karekarec. Bakerd. All of the above

2. Will a vengeful Mayan God come surfing out of the Heavens and tear down the bridge in this (altered) photo on Decemeber 21st?a. Can you repeat the question?b. I’m an atheist and don't believe in such nonsense. Holy shit! Who are you? You're Camazotz. (the respondent screams and then disappears in a puff of smoke.)c. It depends on the answer to question number 3.d. Damn it! I didn't buy insurance for that trip on the 22nd to Cabo. Plus, I forgot my napkin.

3. Will the Universe be saved by the Tillerman offering up one of the well known delightful culinary treasures from his soggy homeland to the vengeful Mayan God?a. If the god accepts and eats the offering, we will be saved. (he will surely go into convulsions after ingesting the vile bile, keel over, and expire.)b. If the god tastes the offering and spits it out before swallowing it, we're doomed.c. The Tillerman might as well offer some Yorkshire pudding to a paper cup, at least it's a real tangible thing rather than some imaginary Mayan god. Holy shit! Who are you? You're Camazotz. (the respondent screams and then disappears in a puff of smoke.)d. What's going on? I'm so out of the loop, who is the Tillerman, and why are the people on Squawk Box talking about the Mayan prediction about the end of the world?