Minxipedia

Earlier this week I hit upon the idea to ask a couple of people I like and respect to write me a guest blog post. I know that makes me sounds terribly important, or maybe even lazy, but I thought it would make a nice change to have a different 'voice' on this blog, new perspectives on the sex industry andalso, I have writers block!

Mr B kindly sent me this this afternoon and I am most pleased- it's always good to hear from the the other side of the fence and, if I'm going to be a bit political, it goes towards demonstrating that the clients of sex workers are not evil, woman hating men.

So thank you Mr B, I really appreciate it! Here goes...

Ten things I've learned as a punter When Lydia suggested I write a guest blog from the client’s perspective I was torn between two conflicting ideas. Firstly, that I couldn’t possibly represent the views of all punters, which deterred me and, secondly, that I wasn’t aware that it had been done before. The second idea gradually grew on me, so here it is: a list of ten things I’ve learned in the last couple of years – it may be helpful to others, but in the end it’s only my experience.

Thorough research is essential to avoid dodgy experiences. I learned this when a lady I booked for an outcall cried off with two hours to go. A hasty trawl through Adultwork for a replacement nearly got me an encounter with J…, who informed me, that on second thoughts, she would be unable to meet me since she would be breaking her curfew and she didn’t want to go back to prison.

You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into when you start. I found myself reflecting on this while having sex with a regular at a swingers’ club in a room behind a one-way mirror. Just where in hell did that exhibitionist streak come from?

Make it clear what you like. At first I was reticent about this, possibly believing, as well as being bloody good at sex, that escorts can read your mind. They can’t, but they are unlikely to be surprised by your secret fantasies.

Regulars are great, but so are new experiences. If I’m honest, I fall for lovely women quite easily and usually find subsequent meetings even better than the first and always look forward to the next. So new ladies add variety and help me guard against getting too involved.

Nerves are a good thing because they lead to delicious anticipation. To begin with, I was terrible on the phone and must have come across as a complete basket case. Nowadays, nerves are inextricably linked with anticipation: there is nothing on earth quite like waiting for that gentle knock on your hotel room door.

Quickies are no good for me: I need a bit of a run-up these days and enjoy the developing sensuality inherent in longer meetings and…..

….overnights are fabulous with the right person for the ultimate unrushed experience. Also, morning sex is the best sex. And I like a good chat.

Boundaries are there for a reason and protect both parties. In the end, you are enjoying a paid-for service and it’s foolish to pretend otherwise. However, both parties can sometimes agree to step beyond them and that can be wonderful but never to be taken for granted: a shared, unlooked-for drink or meal together just mean that two people happen to get on very well and enjoy each other’s company.

Most of my preconceptions about prostitution were wrong. I’m not sure if I ever had an over-riding image of what escorts were like, generically. What I am sure of is that many of the women I have met are among the cleverest, funniest, most articulate, independent-minded people I know. But perhaps that’s down to my thorough research.

Mr B Your ten points are pretty much the same as I would have written. Good research is important - pushing your comfort zone (literally and metaphorically) has been exciting and the vast majority of the ladies I have met have been really lovely people with whom I would happily spend time simply because they are intelligent and good company.
I have the greatest admiration and respect for all the ladies I have met and I still hope to meet a few more before I am too old to enjoy myself!

Reply

Mr B

30/10/2013 02:31:40 am

Thank you! Here's to a few more year of 'pushing the comfort zone' then!

And thanks to the lovely Lydia for allowing me some space for my ramblings