Friday, January 9, 2015

Nothing Will Change Until God Changes Us

I tend to get a weird kick out of parents who buy a dog for
their child so that the child can learn responsibility, only to see the
exercise in responsibility falling to the parent! I’ve listened as these
parents seriously and ever-so-earnestly attempt to convince me (and perhaps
themselves) that the sole stipulation for getting the dog is that the child take
care of the dog.

Because I am a parent myself, I know exactly how this puppy
experiment is going to play out. Sure enough, a week or two later, whom do I observe
walking the puppy but the mom. Months later, the mom or the dad continue to be the
only ones exercising the dog.

I take it all in, knowing full well that if I had ever
allowed a dog in the house, I would have been the one standing outside in below-zero
weather, waiting for the pup to do its duty while my kids slept in.

I used to wonder, those times I would implement a new grand
scheme for the family, why, after only a few days, the new system wasn’t
working? Why wasn’t the chore chart being filled out, or the kids attaining the
goal of 30 minutes a day on the treadmill? Why were we not following through?
What does one have to do to effect change in oneself or in another?

And the answer, I came to understand, is nothing.
We of our own volition and good intentions can do nothing to effect change in
ourselves or anyone else.

I have a relative who, out of sheer determination and
staying really busy, managed to stop drinking for about 15 years. She worked
two jobs and took up piano among other things. And then she began drinking
again.

If a treadmill is what we put our hope for new life in, or a
diet, new clothes, new car, new kitchen, new hobby, new house, new job, new life not being
married—then any newness of life that comes will be precarious indeed. My
record for change through sheer determination is 3 months. And then I went
right back to the old ways.

We all know this, don’t we? We should, because we’ve
experienced failure at change often enough. But there is something that
continuously deceives us by saying,“This
time, things will be different.”

It’s also really easy to decide to do something without
actually doing it, but then feel like we did.

When my kids were still young, I
decided to look online for parenting books. I spent days conducting research.
It felt good to be accomplishing something. I was on my way to being a better parent!
I finally ordered the books. Boy was I making progress! I spent the next week
looking forward to and putting my hope in the books’ arrival. When UPS dropped
these tomes at my doorstep, I was invigorated! Wow, look what a great parent I’m
already becoming, just by having these books! I’m on my way, taking the steps
to effect change! I placed the books in the bookcase. They looked so good, so fresh,
so new. A better parent had arrived and was now resting on the shelf. Which is
where it stayed until I donated those books, unread, to Goodwill ten years later after
my kids had both left home.

See, the act of deciding and then taking steps toward change
is so fulfilling, and much easier, than actually making the change.

To be honest, even if I’d read those books, I doubt very
seriously that my parenting would have changed. Because I was still leaving the
change up to me; putting me in charge of me. It’s as I always say, “How can I
change me if I am the problem?” And I can add to that, “How can I change someone
else if they are the problem?” or “How can I change this relationship if both
of us is the problem?” And finally, “How can I change someone else who does not
want to change, or doesn’t even see that they need to change?”

Change takes place in the heart via the work of the Holy
Spirit. If we don’t believe this, and don’t want to believe this, we can stop
right here and continue on in the pride of believing that we are the greatest
thing since sliced bread at effecting change (when the facts clearly prove otherwise).

If, however, we have failed time and time again to change of
our own volition, perhaps we might want to humbly consider the work of the Holy
Spirit. This requires an act of the will submitted entirely to God, in full
repentance that we have been trying all this time to do it on our own.

Dr. Grant Richardson, author of the book, Certainty, writes:

“The Holy Spirit produces in the hearer a conviction from
the force of a sovereign move of God, the Holy Spirit.”

This isn’t based on feelings. Richardson continues:

“The concern is in responding to the convicting work of the
Holy Spirit’s testimony to the objective Word of God. There is a norm, or
standard, of truth that confirms the Holy Spirit’s convicting work. That is
what Scripture warrants or justifies. This is coming to understand what God
wants us to know deductively.”

In other words, the work of the Holy Spirit is based on
knowing God, first through Christ in salvation, and then in the ongoing process
of becoming Biblically mature (also called sanctification). This ongoing work
is accomplished via the Holy Spirit through the reading of God’s Word, prayer, faith
and trust in the author of that Word and obedience to the conviction we
receive.

We can’t stop short of this. It has to be our sole
motivation: to please God and Him alone. Who better knows how to please God
than the Holy Spirit? And so the Holy Spirit’s desire must be our desire. We
must desire to please God and not ourself. We must desire to please God and not
someone else. We must desire to take pride in God making the change in us and
giving Him the credit, versus wanting to make the change ourself so that we can
give ourself credit and boast about our own accomplishments.

Richardson writes,

“The conviction of the Holy Spirit transcends our opinion or
the opinion of others. No human system can evaluate the testimony of the
Spirit.”

“Paul explains (in 1 Corinthians 2:5) why he rests his case
in the demonstration of the Spirit; he did not want to depend on human faculty
but on the power of God. Paul came in the ‘demonstration of the Spirit’ rather
than in the power of his speaking ability, that ‘faith might not rest in the
wisdom of men.’”

“Only demonstration from the Holy Spirit can break through
to the soul. Faith comes from Christ, not from the ingenuity of philosophy,
oratory, or human persuasion.”

“The testimony of the Holy Spirit transcends the finite
world of beliefs and perspectives. He is superior to philosophy and reason.”

The Holy Spirit will break through our finite understanding,
our self-determination and self-reliance. We’ve been told all our lives that we
“can do whatever we set our minds to.” This is a tragic lie. Only the Holy Spirit knows what it is
we need to do and only the Holy Spirit can equip us to do it. When we finally
submit to that truth, change can then begin.

copyright Barb Harwood

“If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will
ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you
forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither
sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in
you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14: 15-17

“When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence
or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I
resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him
crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My
message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a
demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s
wisdom, but on God’s power.” 1 Corinthians 2:1-5