"Forever's an awfully long time."

Archive for November, 2014

Hi, dadots. Let’s pretend that today is November 28 and I didn’t greet you late. Juth give me a chanth becauth for the patht three yearth I’ve known you I’ve only greeted you late thith year po. Like, super late. Ugh. Happy birthday, AJ! 😀

First of all I would like to thank you for being there for me whenever I needed you to be there; as a friend, makeshift brother, or whatever. And I’m sorry for not joining you on your adventures in Colon, or wherever you want to explore.

Most of our adventures were with Raffy, and for that I am eternally grateful. Both of you helped me become a bit more adventurous; but dadots, it’s your birthday, so let’s focus on you. 😀

I guess I owe you a lot of milkteas by now, because I keep making promises for treats that I can’t keep up with, so 😦 Expect a lot of milkteas and treats to follow.

On another note, I’m so thankful that we became friends. You consistently make me smile, whether it’s because of your bad jokes, or because of your funny ones. Even though you make fun of my ‘eth’, I still find it funny.

But forget you heard that. Because then you’ll continue to tease me.

Oh, forget it. I’ll have a lithp forever, anyway.

Even though it doesn’t seem so lately, I know I can trust you.I know that you’ll #support me when I need to, and you can expect the same. I’m not a perfect mamots, but I’m trying my best to be the friend that you need.

Before I lose track of this birthday post, I also want to say that I wish you the best in life. I hope all your dreams come true. You’re a very passionate, intelligent individual who says ‘yes’ to open ended questions and feels bad when you get a small grade in an exam. You give 100% in everything that you do, whether it’s emceeing or making almost perfect projects.

And I envy you for being able to do that.

Here’s a reminder from me to you to smile always and keep your head up. Don’t be affected by whatever anyone else has to say negatively about you. They don’t know you and it shouldn’t matter. Continue being the person you are now, because basically, if you weren’t the person you are now, you wouldn’t be our dadots.

Lastly, thanks for being very patient with me. I’m harsh, I’m brash, and I’m the most un-girliest girl in the whole universe, but you still put up with me as a friend. Even though we have our differences, I know that when I need you, I can just text you when I do.

If you don’t remember, this is our first picture together. Hahaha. You wanted to change that picture, so let’s also imagine that our first picture together was there instead of that recent one. Anyways, from there on, our friendship only became better. So here’s to more birthdays to come, and more memories with FORWARD. 🙂

For some reason, two of my best friends, who have been with me through thick and thin, who have never abandoned me or ever scorned me, are missing.

Gone.

Away.

And I have no idea what to do without them.

For the past years in my life, I’ve been entirely dependent on either or both of them, depending on which best friend I needed the most. At the time. And the thing is, they would always be there. Standing next to me at a moment’s notice. I know wholeheartedly that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those two in my life.

However; I realize that upon being dependent on them, I failed to truly recognize my raw skill and talent. I had grown up with the thought that I could take on the world with them at my side. And hey, it might be true. I think I just forgot to remember what it was like without Lady Luck and Count Confidence at my side.

Let’s start with my first friend; Lady Luck. She was a cheerful gal, always wearing my team colors and cheering me on. Lady Luck was the one I turned to during swimming competitions; she’d always have my back. Without training as hard as everyone else, I was still a star. Without placing or qualifying, I would always, somehow, find my place among the top. This was mostly because I had a couple of swimming friends who’d quit at the last minute.

Count Confidence was tall, dark, and mysterious. He was also incredibly smart, not to mention brave. He’d stand next to me, unseen, as I did things I never thought I’d ever do, like confess my undying love, speak in front of a crowd of a hundred or more, sing my heart out, and emcee the night away, giving me the comfort and confidence to pull it off.

When the Count and Lady Luck were together, though… I felt like I could conquer the world. The two of them made me feel like I could basically do anything and get away with it, no repercussions or consequences involved. They made me feel powerful; loved. They made me feel like I was unstoppable. The Count and Lady Luck helped me attract miracles.

I wonder when I started becoming addicted to relying on luck, and basing my skills on confidence.

You see, the thing is, I’ll be joining an international research congress this Friday, presenting my thesis in front of people I don’t even know. Heck, the only people I’ll know will be my two teachers, and three classmates. Just five people. In a crowd of certainly more than a hundred.

It is five days before the congress and the Count and Lady Luck are nowhere to be found.

Here’s to me pulling it off without them, or falling and crashing horribly just because I don’t know how to act without my two best friends.

So I combined my favorite topics in this conscientious blog post – infamous Pierre vs. New crush. Nora and PJ are figments of my imagination. I basically just gave names to the angel and devil on my shoulder. Thought it would be unique to have a female character as a devil, and the male as a devil. Oh well. 🙂 I like how this became a somewhat story/poem. No regrets.

I don’t think it does, and yet, once I typed those three words, I knew that it was perfect for this blog post.

It is simply because we are us.

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Meeting someone you’ve always wanted to get to know is a gift. Realizing that the two of you are the same is a blessing. Becoming friends with this person is a miracle. Kind of half way falling for this person is a curse.

I experienced all four of these feelings. Hopefully I won’t fully go through with the next one.

You see, the thing with getting to know people is that you find out things that you never thought you’d ever know. You get to know their favorite color, favorite food, life style and daily routines. Minute details of their life become common knowledge to you two, and inside jokes are quickly formed. The beauty of it all is that, with the right person, getting to know someone doesn’t become a one-way thing. It becomes an open channel where you suddenly feel like bearing your soul to this person, to this simple person who suddenly became a light through the hazy mist of my college life; a lighthouse in the middle of the stormy sea.

And suddenly, this person becomes someone you can talk to. You suddenly feel like chatting with him every night on Facebook just to check in on him, or vent about your day. In the current world, it’d be call ‘insta-friends’. All because of two hours in complete confidentiality, where we shared secrets and when he became more than a face I passed in the halls.

Sharing secrets like how we never fit in our own groups of friends. How we’d sometimes treat ourselves to dinner. How we’d like to just forget the world and reside in the library. Because, in your words, ‘We loners have to stick together.’

But I think that the most important thing we have in common is that we’re happy with our decisions in our lives. We may have made somewhat questionable choices in our lives regarding our social lives and in other aspects, but we’re happy about it. We wouldn’t want to change a thing.

Boy, we are us. And no one’s ever going to change us.

Here’s to us, being us. And here’s to us, hopefully being something more.