Dear Ex-Best Friend

Dear Ex-Best Friend,

I still think about you; but when our friendship ended, it was everyday. Our friendship ended 7 years ago, the reason why - I still don’t know. But sadly I think it was because of a boy. We could never imagine a time in our lives when a boy would be more important to us than each other.

Our friendship started in elementary school and over the years you became more than my best friend, you became my sister. We shared high school dances, vacations, inside jokes and went to college together. We told each other everything, and I still want to. I thought that one day you would be my maid of honor, our future children would be close like us and we would be real life golden girls. We were supposed to be best friends forever but that didn’t work out like we thought it would. I’m mad that we didn’t fight harder for our friendship.

I want to say I’m sorry we’re not friends anymore. I’m sorry for the mean things I said to and about you. I’m sorry for the way things ended between us. I’m sorry that we’re not making memories. I’m sorry if the vibe between us is awkward. I have thought many times if I should you reach out to you but I think our chapter has closed in your book. For years, I would text you on your birthday hoping a conversation would begin, but no response. And now I feel too much time has passed.

I miss you. I miss texting you everyday about everything. I miss having you as my support system. Photos of us will pop-up on my Timehop, at first they make me smile but then they are a reminder of what we don’t have. That we will never be that close again. I miss my best friend, part of me hopes you do to.

But I am thankful of our friendship and it is one of the best things that happened in my life. I am thankful for our memories. Thank you for being my support system and being honest. Thank you for keeping all of my secrets, I have kept yours still. Because our friendship ended, my friendships with other girlfriends has blossomed. And I learned that I can have more than one best friend - for that I am thankful.

I look forward to the day we run into each other, whether it be at the supermarket or mall. I look forward to seeing how you’ve become a beautiful woman. I look forward to hearing about your husband, career and children. And for that brief moment I’ll see your smile and sparkle in your eye as you talk about something that you love. The one I was so used to seeing. I hope that we’ll hug and maybe our friendship will renew; and maybe it won’t.

So just know, I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad anymore. Never forget that I am always here for you.7 years later, if you called me and said you needed me - I would be there. That’s the thing about ex-best friends - I still hope you’re doing well because despite everything: you deserve it. You deserve to be loved, to be happy, and to be healthy.