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Thursday, 1 December 2016

A New Home

An aqua coloured leaf,
obviously spray painted, was the only thing disturbing the pristine pool. Saina
Malleswary was unsure if she meant throwing it in there as an act of defiance
or an act of conciliation. Surely her father couldn’t really kick her out of
home if she had to clean the pool as usual? And those streams of paint are
going to need extra attention, requiring Saina’s usual diligence. Mind you, she
had been adamant that she would leave home soon after turning eighteen, moving
into a share house with two of her older friends. Her father wanted her to wait
but then realised the sooner he let her go the better; she was always going to
leave. And even he was surprised when five days after her eighteenth birthday,
at the beginning of another very mild Aus autumn, at breakfast, he told her that
she would have to leave in two days. Mr Malleswary wanted to get the pain over
with as quickly as possible. Mrs Malleswary offered no objection. Time to fly,
Saina.

Saina dwelt on the words banishing her,
staring at the streaming leaf, and then felt something snap deep within her
being, like some mental support that had suddenly given way. She soon began breathing
in short, sharp breaths, holding her head, her eyes squeezed shut, looking for
herself in her mind’s eye. Luckily she knew to take big, deep breaths, thus
controlling the sudden panic. She then reasoned with herself, arguing her
return to normality. In fact moving out was bound to be great, having two good
friends to shelter with. She was soon able to look down at her packed, large sports
bag.

‘Yeah, everything’ll be fine,’ she said to
herself. ‘Rita and Jess will be all the help I need. If any.’ She picked up her
bag and headed inside to ask her father for a lift to her new home.

*

The trip was in silence
and it was short, two suburbs over to Redferne. Five minutes from her new home
though Mr Malleswary, Aadil, decided now was the time to reveal a secret of his
that his daughter might find useful.

‘Sai, now that you’re a grown woman I’ll
tell you of a habit of mine that I use to deal with a stressful world. As you
know I have a family history of anxiety on my mother’s side and when it all
gets too much for me I put on Handel’s Water
Music.’

‘I’ve heard of that.’

‘It’s divine, Sai. I invariably listen to
it with earphones to bring it closer. It’s in three suites and always allows me
to let the stress and angst flow off into the ether. I feel great for weeks
afterwards.’

‘I don’t really like classical music,
Dad.’

‘Well, just listen to this one. It could
well be your only solace in the obscure future.’

‘So it always calms you down? Relieves the
tension?’

‘Always.’

‘I’ll see if I can get a copy soon.’ Saina’s
inherited anxiety episodes were rare but intense and any boon couldn’t be
refused in dealing with the sudden panic attacks. They then pulled up at
Saina’s new address. Aadil thought it best to remain in the car while his daughter
stepped into a new life but was also sure to remind her,

‘Make sure you go to work tomorrow! No
partying!’

‘Yes, Dad.’ She closed the car door and
then called out to Rita and Jess from the porch of her first share house.

*

Rita and Jess were just
about to head out for an early lunch and invited Saina along. She chose though
to remain by herself in the new house, walk around a bit and peek into all the
corners, arrange her new bedroom, basically acclimatise herself to the new
situation. The ladies perfectly understood.

She liked her bedroom, neither too large
nor too small. Pity the mattress was on the floor though. And the white
wallpaper wasn’t as white as she remembered it. Well, there’s no point in
depressing oneself. She duly sat down on the bed and considered her father’s
recent words. Music would certainly channel her mildly disordered thoughts,
some new music to reflect her new situation. Trouble was she had no money to
buy the Handel and her bank account was overdrawn. And she most certainly was not
going to ask her parents for a loan within an hour of the grand flight. How to
get a copy, she brooded.

‘The library!’ she exclaimed. She could
just borrow a copy. Easy done. True, it was Saturday, but only elevenish so
Redferne library should still be open. Motivated now, she unpacked her bag,
piling her clothes neatly on the floor, and her other small amount of books and
knickknacks. That done she changed into a new outfit, red ankle boots, black
jeans, and a purple blouse, and headed off to find Handel.

*

A mild anxious feeling settled
on Saina when she saw that Water Music
was out on loan. She was going to give up on the search, maybe listen to a classical
radio station at home instead. But, no, if her father saw fit to point out that
it helped with the genetic anxiety then she would need it as quickly as
possible, especially with the stress of undertaking a new life. So she left the
library to have a look in nearby Newtown
library. She briefly considered searching the local University library
but she imagined it would make her feel like being at school again, instead of
a budding woman making her mark upon the world. Not having any money though
meant no ticket, thus no travel to Newtown.

Well, she’ll risk it. It would be a short trip
anyway with less chance of being caught.

The trip was indeed uneventful but when
Saina arrived at Newtown library it was shut, despite it being only 1200 pm. A
brief inspection of the closed doors showed Saina a notice saying the library
was closed due to renovations.

‘Well then, it’s the State Library,’ she
said to the notice. And if the State Library didn’t have it she would borrow
some money from a work colleague tomorrow to get a copy.

Her perseverance was rewarded and she
wasn’t fined for travelling into the city without a ticket. She pressed play on
the loaded CD player with a feeling of a fundamental accomplishment.

Her father was right, as usual. Travelling
with the music was like travelling through endless processions of crystal
castles in her mind. She was a spirit, travelling her sure and happy path,
unable to be denied anything that she set her mind to. As she travelled with
the music the pinkish castles were growing broader and taller, until they
exploded in tinkling gems, making her skin tingle, and then reforming to
reassure Saina that she was indeed safe. Here was always a home from which she
could never be forced out of. It was a fountain that had always been flowing
and always would be.

When the music ended Saina felt as if she
had discovered Paradise, a Paradise always available and accessible. On the way
home she rang a work friend to borrow the money for the CD. Rita or Jess would
have easily loaned her the money but Saina thought that that might not be a
good way to start off her living with them.

She listens to the Water Music every morning now, and when she feels the sudden silent
creep of panic she imagines it, feeling its noble castles shelter her from the tension.
The Handel was also the source of a newfound and still growing respect for her
father.

~~~

If you have been enjoying Fitzpatrick's stories here you may also enjoy his short story collections, and other books, available online as both Kindle books and paperbacks (go

to http://amzn.to/1NfodtN). Other ebook and paperback options are available at http://bit.ly/1UsyvKD Fitzpatrick is also having a collection of short stories, Aberrant Selected, published by Waldorf Publishing and you can follow its journey at www.aberrantselected.blogspot.com