A Little bit of Hope

I wrote this for a school assignment. We'd been doing Chinese Cinderella in class and were given an creative assignment to write a story based on the hardships of school, with key points relating to Cinderella. I quite liked it, though it's slightly cheesy at parts, so I thought I might put it up. Hope you like it. As always, I'd love some constructive critisism! :)

Submitted: April 19, 2008

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Submitted: April 19, 2008

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Once upon a time, on a bright crispy morning, the young girl Eleanor, of 14yrs, trudged wearily along Ever Green Rd, a jumble of thoughts weighing down her steps. She looked up as she
approached her school, and with a sigh, raised her hand in thanks to a driver who was letting her walk past. Eleanor walked across the road then along the gate, girls’ laughing gaily beside her.
She longed to be one of those happy, normal girls…one of those girls with friends.

Eleanor flinched as her thoughts flitted to her own life. Her parents had died in a horrific car accident when she had but
reached the sweet, innocent age of four. She could recall naught of her parents, save for one simple memory where her father held her in his arms as her mother placed a band-aid across her knee.
“All better.” She had said, and kissed he forehead.

Those days were long gone and now all that remained were her cruel Grandparents. Normally, Grandparents are depicted as
sweet, caring, protective beings, who always seam to have a special treat for you when you come to visit. Eleanor’s, however, were nothing like that. They did little, except sit and watch T.V., and
make snide remarks about her. Eleanor was left to do all the shopping and cooking, else she’d starve; and of course the cleaning was of no small matter either. Despite the filth that they
themselves made, her Grandparents were adamant about keeping a clean household, and seamed to think that she as the one to keep it that way. This week, they had been particularly nasty. Eleanor had
made the mistake of letting slip that the Year 8 movie Night was coming up. They blatantly refused, on the spot, to let her go, telling her that they were not going to waste their time trafficking
her around the place. Fortunately for her, Eleanor’s Aunty was down for the weekend, and convinced them to let her go, promising them that she would drive her there and back and do all the cooking
while Eleanor was out.

Despite this, they seamed to absoulutely despise the idea of her having any fun whatsoever, so the snuck into her room and
stole her one casual set of clothes (except for her usual working clothes). Eleanor knew it would be of no use asking for them back, yet she could not help the feeling of despair that was slowly
overcoming her. The tears fell before she could stop them. They trickled down her rosy cheeks and gathered in rivulets in-between the cracks of the floor boards. A comforting hand was suddenly
rested on her shoulder, for a second, Eleanor thought it to be the ghost of her mother or father, for no one else had cared for her like that since their death, yet she looked up to find her Aunty,
eyes glistening, holding out a gorgeous outfit that was just her size, Suddenly she didn’t care about the stolen clothes or even the beautiful clothes that were now held before her eye’s, all she
cared about was the fact that her Aunty was letting her know that she was here for her. She flung her arms around her Aunties neck and held her tight, fearing that if she let go, this Guardian
Angel would disappear and leave her alone in this bleak world.

Now Eleanor stood at the gates of the her school, wondering how she would survive the night without everyone seeing her for the fraud she really was.

Eleanor was to compete in the Year 8 Talent Show at the end of the night. She was going to sing, for it was the only thing
that had kept her sane as she scrubbed pots and pans throughout seemingly endless nights. The night stretched on until it was finally time for the Talent Show. When her turn came, she opened her
mouth and sung. Her hypnotic voice reached across the entire room as everyone listened-spellbound, wondering where this strangely breathtaking young girl had appeared form.

One group in particular were peculiar about this girl, whom they had never noticed before, and felt the need to get to know.
As Eleanor finished up the song, they began to walk over to her, but even though the applause hadn’t even finished echoing across the hall, she was already fleeing into the night, explaining to the
teachers that she was being picked up early.

The group of friends were disappointed to see her go, but promised each other that they would seek her out at school on
Monday.

Meanwhile, Eleanor was on the way home, in her Aunties car, explaining what a wonderful time she had had. Half-way through,
her Aunty interrupted her and told her that her Grandparents were kicking her out of the house, as her Grandmother had fallen ill and they could no longer afford (or for that matter, be bothered)
to keep her.

Relief flooded through Eleanor as she thought of the prospect of no longer having to live in that gloomy household, but
following that was a wave of despair, as she realise she had nowhere else to stay.

“What will I do?” She said in a small voice, verging on the brink of tears.

“Live with me and I shall give you the love and care that is your right.”

The next day at school, filled with a new optimism and hope, Eleanor was approached by the group of friends from the Movie Night. They praised her singing voice and accepted her into their group,
and in no time at all, Eleanor had the one thing she had always wished for, with all her heart and soul: people who cared for her.

The re-editing of such a classic story struck me. It was totally different to the classic theme of Cinderella meets boy, lives happily ever after, the love from her aunt was original and yet cleverly written.

I haven't used descriptive sentences in such a long time, I've been re-inspired to erase a bad habit of mine.

Thanks for a great read!

autumnsunset

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Comment | 22 words

Mon, April 21st, 2008 7:29am

I'm flattered that I've helped you in anyway. Thanks for reading and leaving such a great comment. Glad you evjoyed reading it!