How many people die as virgins?

And you think that the risk to the woman's health is an acceptable price for that?

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What ? Are you talking about multiple partners an a chance at getting cancer from having multiple partners . Men can get throat cancer from oral sex on multiple partners too . Don't ask Me how I know ( No not Me , someone else I don'e want to tell you who ) It can Happen . Blew Me away to find that out .

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Kind of like they marry thinking everything will work out (rather like gay people did in the 50's...try to get the right spouse to "fix" them...) and the couple's sex-life ends up being a zero-sum game...either the asexual spouse is happy and the sexual one's miserable, or the asexual one feels all put-upon and bothered.
Whereas if asexual was considered a normal sort of thing? Something someone could be happy being? then they would not try to "live a lie."

ummm, isnt that more a question of being upfront in what you want out of a relationship when you start one and NOT getting married until after you have had sex (if thats what you want) and living together so you are used to eachothers annoyances

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Kind of like they marry thinking everything will work out (rather like gay people did in the 50's...try to get the right spouse to "fix" them...) and the couple's sex-life ends up being a zero-sum game...either the asexual spouse is happy and the sexual one's miserable, or the asexual one feels all put-upon and bothered.
Whereas if asexual was considered a normal sort of thing? Something someone could be happy being? then they would not try to "live a lie."

I do . Expectations come with a marriage and Honesty is key if there is any hope at all . To live a lie is the hardest thing a person can do . That is the real slavery in a modern world . The spouses duties is what the courts deemed several years back , but now I think it is a crime to rape your spouse . I could be wrong , but I think it is . I understand what you are saying load and clear

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ummm, isnt that more a question of being upfront in what you want out of a relationship when you start one and NOT getting married until after you have had sex (if thats what you want) and living together so you are used to eachothers annoyances

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That is not what Chimpkin is talking about . Social acceptability of sexual practice is . Chimpkin is talking about not being socially excepted and putting up pretense as not to be crucified by the mind set of an unforgiving conditioned Mob . You don't fuck your Wife !! What is wrong with you attitudes of we know better than you know about you . So you must be the sick one . It tends to make people live lies

I'm sorry Signal. I really do not understand this question and so will not even attempt an answer.

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Can you sketch out the reasoning process that lead you to the conclusion that the side-effects of hormonal contraception, abortions, unwanted children are outweighed by having a relationship with a man with whom you have sex even though you do not want to have children?

What ? Are you talking about multiple partners an a chance at getting cancer from having multiple partners . Men can get throat cancer from oral sex on multiple partners too . Don't ask Me how I know ( No not Me , someone else I don'e want to tell you who ) It can Happen . Blew Me away to find that out .

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I am talking about the situation that the avergage woman is in who has sex while she doesn't want to have children.

I'm not referring to STI's, heart-attack due to exertion or such things here.

Society at present is still largely focused on the traditional heterosexual couple as being 'normal'. I do not doubt that asexual, bi-sexual, and homo-sexual differentials are all part of nature's normal.

I find it quite astounding that a sentient species, as humans proclaim themselves to be, are so incredibly hung up on sexual orientation that we would deny basic human rights and opportunities to persons who are born with other preferences.

The majority of our lives is not spent in the bedroom. It is spent in being a contributing member of a caring society. People should be free to be who they are and form relationships and alliances without feeling the need to pretend to be otherwise, lest they be viewed as 'different' and marginalized in the manner that many have experienced.

As Pierre Trudeau stated, 'There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation'.

Until societal attitudes change, people continue to feel pressured into living the lie, IMO.

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And yet the societal norm is to consider people abnormal who engage in sex only if they want to have children, and many people see it as their duty to stigmatize and/or "educate" these "misguided" individuals. (And who thus may end up "dying as virgins" if the case should be that they do not want to have children).

In other words, the societal norm is that a woman should be willing to risk her health and even her life (and the life of potential children) so that she can be considered "normal" and have an intimate relationship with a man; and for men, the societal norm is to accept this.

People who engage in sex only if they want to have children are not asexual. They just don't see a justification for the risks and damages that come with engaging in sex while not wanting to have children.

Chimpkin is talking about not being socially excepted and putting up pretense

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That and self-acceptance. Which I still remember being an issue for gay people...Lesbians are still told by knuckle-draggers: "Maybe the right man will fix ya!"...and I imagine gay men get the female equivalent...

Asexuality would be especially hard for a guy to accept in himself, because of the social definition of what it is to be a guy, and how that ties into sexual prowess...but really for anybody.

I mean:what's wrong with you? you don't want to have sex?
Sex is used to sell us most everything! If that doesn't make sense to you you can tell you aren't getting something big.

And you think about how a relationship is defined-it's are you being physically intimate.
Most of us are going to feel we're missing out if we aren't doing it with our beloved...but what if you crave all of the closeness, but none of the sex?

Asexuals... who want love, but not sex, are going to try to put up with the sex, fake it for the love which is what they really want, because they think that there's something wrong with them and maybe enough sex can fix it...or something like that.

social anxiety can cause even the bustiest of the bomb shells, and the hunkiest of the hunk to go without sex, and if they die young they will die a virgin. So sad, they go through life thinking they aren't good enough because people staring at them, when people are just desiring after them

How many people in our societies die virgins or without ever having a girlfriend in their whole life?

I really would like to know.

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You also need to specify what exactly you mean by "virgin".

Is a person who hasn't had consensual sex before and who is raped, still a virgin or not?

Does the object with which the rape was conducted make a difference?
If a woman is vaginally raped with an object, such as a bottle, is that rape, and is she a virgin or not?

Is nonconsensual anal penetration of a male or female, rape?

What about women who are sold off into prostitution or marriage? They engage in sex, and may bear children, but that sex can hardly be considered consensual.

If persons who have been raped are not to be considered virgins anymore - then shouldn't also persons who masturbate but who don't engage in consensual sex with others, also not to be considered virgins anymore?

Some asexuals are, as I understand it, okay with relieving themselves, but not into sex with a partner, others do not have a drive period.

I am rather inclined to accept asexuality as not necessarily some dysfunction, myself...but possibly like other atypical sexual orientations, something you have to figure out and come to terms with. I would like to see more research on it.

My thinking is is that if asexuals understood themselves, they would be clearer about what they want in a partner...rather than attempting to keep a sexual partner happy when the asexual does not want it and eventually will quit having it, they could perhaps find each other for partnership.

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Well I don't see how they could be with anyone but each other. :shrug:
It could be considered dysfunctional to deny our basic human instinct for companionship and sexual reproduction. A bit like the effects anorexia has on the desire to eat. Not that it's harming anyone and needs to be "fixed" or something, but we're designed with survival of the species in mind, so you gotta wonder where things come from that go against it....

The reason I say this...I hang out on a big social networking site. The forum "I live in a sexless marriage" has over 25,000 members. :bugeye: And so...just observing this...this is a big, nasty incidence of failure to get nasty.

Yanno, just observing...

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There's a difference between sexless marraige and asexual. Do married people ever look the same as when they were 18 and rutting like farmyard animals? You grow old, sex becomes less important, kids get in the way etc etc.
I doubt the vast majority of those people are asexual at all, just put a naked hot 18 year old in front of them and find out....

I think there are more male virgins than female virgins. Women don't have to be a certain way to get laid. Men aren't that picky.
Men on the other hand have to have some social skills to get laid. Or they have to shell out money for it. And they are usually to socially inept to do that.

I think there are more male virgins than female virgins. Women don't have to be a certain way to get laid. Men aren't that picky.
Men on the other hand have to have some social skills to get laid. Or they have to shell out money for it. And they are usually to socially inept to do that.

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You don't think that's a bit sexist? It's like saying women can get laid easy, so if they do they're sluts, whereas guys can't so they deserve high fives for their "achievement".

Can you sketch out the reasoning process that lead you to the conclusion that the side-effects of hormonal contraception, abortions, unwanted children are outweighed by having a relationship with a man with whom you have sex even though you do not want to have children?

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There are many options besides hormones in regard to contraception, abstinence being one, and not all acts of intimacy require penetration.

Men and women should be free to form the type of sexual relationships (or nonsexual relationships) that they are comfortable within. Many people might rather live alone but find themselves forced to cohabit just to make ends meet, though these arrangements may not be of intimate nature.

It is greater society that has certain attitudes regarding 'normal'.

Have I not made myself abundantly clear that I do not share society's intolerance? :shrug: