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It had all been a lie. Marcus can’t believe he fell for such an obvious lie. But I guess anyone could have gotten distracted by the pretty girl spinning those lies. He blames himself for losing his focus. Well, he’ll just has to do some extra work to make up for the time he lost chasing a dream of a pretty girl loving him. It will not take long, what will take time however, is gaining his self-respect back. Although I will help him the best I can.

The other kids in high school would never let him live this down. He was a loser kid who had thought a popular girl would actually care about him. Here’s how it all happened:

It all started rather slowly, first came the smiles and random acts of kindness to a boy who was used to being ignored by the popular kids. She started smiling at him when they passed each other on the halls or when they caught each others eye in class. At first he tried to ignore it, but when she didn’t stop, he finally smiled back.

That was like an invitation not only to the girl to sit next to him or speak to him, but for the popular kids to pick on him. And he had done such a lovely job of not getting picked on since freshman year. For a long time he thought the time spent with her was worth the bullying but then, one day he heard a conversation between two of her friends.

“I don’t believe she gives that loser the time of day”

“I know! I mean she needs to stop or she’ll damage her reputation”

He had never thought of the impact their tentative friendship would have on her, he’d been too focused on himself. Now he was a nice person, even though he loved those little moments spent with her, he didn’t want her to become a pariah among her friends just for hanging out with him. He was ready to sacrifice his happiness for her to have her reputation. The next time she tried to talk to him, he ignored him.

The final nail to his coffin was when she told him that she didn’t care about her reputation, that he was worth more. That was the moment he started to fall for her. And that was his doom.

They started to hang out more and more and soon he was totally besotted with her. She seemed to like him too, and that is why he trusted her when she asked him to come to a party with her.She even took him shopping when he admitted he had nothing to wear.

When he got to the party, wearing the blue button-up and jeans he had bought with her, he went on a search for her. He did find her, however, it was not what he had expected. There she was, talking to the biggest bully of them all. And that wasn’t all, she was kissing him!

“You know you did a brilliant job convincing the loser that you like him” the guy says when they come up for air. That was all Marcus needed to hear, so he started to make his way toward the door.

He had hoped to make a clear exit, with no one noticing him, but of course that didn’t happen.The other bullies must have spotted him making his way out, because they came to stand before him, blocking his way. He tried not to make a scene, but the guys weren’t having any of it.

“Look who’s here” one of them, Jake, said as he took a handful of Marcus’ shirt in his fist.

“Yeah, it’s the loser who has a puppy crush on Jamie” another, called Tom, snorted.

“Did you actually think that a girl like her would see something in a guy like you” this earned a laugh from some of the other kids gathered around them by now.

They ridiculed him for a while more, until he saw her standing in the group and yanked himself free from Jake’s grip and the he just ran, ran out the house and all the way home.

The next day at school, he kept a low profile, up until the end of the school day when Jamie finally cornered her in front of his locker.

“Marcus, please let me explain” she pleads.

“What?! That you were just playing a cruel practical joke on me? That you never wanted me!” he shouts and pushes her away before he runs away.

Tonight is the night I will finally do it. I had promised I’d make my move and today I would finally do it. I had waited for years, and tonight the wait would finally be over, for better or worse. When this night is over I’ll either have the girl of my dreams or I’ll have lost my best friend for good.

I look at her, laughing with her girlfriends. She’s so beautiful, I can’t even find the right words to describe her. She looks my way and waves me over. I go, and soon I’m emerged in a group of laughing girls.

“I’m sorry you have to put up with us girls all on your own. The guys were supposed to be here already” she says as I reach her.

“I don’t mind as long as I’m with you” I answer.

“Aww, that’s so sweet” I faintly hear one of the girls gush behind me.

“Thanks for being here. I know you have a lot of work to do”

“It’s your birthday, of course I’m here” I smile.

Our chat is cut short by the guys coming through the door quite loudly. As the guys gave their greetings to her, I got roped into a game of darts and it was many hours before I had the next chance to talk to my best friend. I was celebrating my win over all the guys when she finally found me again in the crowded bar.

“You won!” I can hear from her voice that she’s a little tipsy.

“Guess I did, now where’s my price?” I joke.

“What would you like for your price?” was she flirting with me?

“Would a kiss be too much?” I ask, and she doesn’t even bother to answer me, she just kisses me on the lips.

“Your lips taste like sangria” I say as we finally pull out of the kiss.

Today I went to our tree, I sat there for the longest time and could almost feel you next to me. A couple times I could have sworn I heard your voice whisper in my ear, but every time I looked around, you were nowhere to be seen. Many people passed by, but they didn’t give me a second glance. I could still clearly see the heart we carved into the tree. I tried to get closer to you by climbing to sit on the branch we used to sit on.

On my way back home I walked by the graveyard, so I decided that I’d come and visit. You know, tell you how I’m doing. And to remind myself of the fact that you’re never coming back.

Because, I do know you’re never coming back, but I still can’t help but perk up every time my phone rings or the door opens, waiting for you to come through. I still watch all of our favorite shows and when I hear a good song all I wanna do is tell you about it. I miss my best friend. I wish I could believe that we will see each other again someday. But since I don’t believe in God or afterlife, I know I will never see you again.

I wish I could just get my heart to listen to my brain, because it hurts so bad.

“You know I could be there in five if you need me to” Dylan said on the phone.

“I don’t know..”

“You sound like your upset. I’d be an awful brother if I didn’t come”

“I don’t want to be a bother”

“You’re not a bother. I’ll be there in five” he says and hangs up the phone.

It’s late, so I’m already wearing my PJ’s but I’m not gonna change because Dylan’s my brother and he doesn’t care. I decide to put the kettle on while I wait for him to arrive. After I put the kettle on, I sat in my armchair and read a book. As the kettle whistled, I started to wonder where Dylan was. Just then I heard a noise coming from the backyard and went to see what it was. As I was opening the back door, the lights went out.

“Bugger” I curse under my breath.

I decide to walk to the fuse box to see if it was just a fuse. Just as I am at the fuse box, I hear footsteps behind me. Before I have a chance to turn around, I get hit in the head by something.

When I finally come to, I see a man dressed in a black hoodie holding a knife above my head. Just as I think it is all over, I hear a car driving to my driveway. Dylan was coming! I tried to scream but no sound came out of my mouth. I start to panic as the man brings the knife to my throat.

I could see something had changed the moment she walked in the bar. And so could most of the guys in the bar, I think there were even some wolf-whistles. When she sat in the same booth as me many of the guys looked disappointed. I, on the other hand, wanted to know what had brought this on.

“What would Mike say about what your wearing?” I asked, thinking of the possessive bastard that was my sister’s boyfriend.

“It’s none of his business since he saw fit to fuck my best friend” she said and motioned the bartender to our table.

“What?”

“Yeah, I came home a little early today since it was a slow day and found him in bed with Katie” she said just before the bartender came to our table. “I’ll take two tequila shots and a beer for starters. And he’ll take another beer” she told the bartender.

“He’s not worth the hangover”

“Whoever said I was looking for a hangover? I just need a good enough buzz to get my groove on while that bastard packs his shit and leaves” just as she finished her sentence, the door of the bar opened and in walked Mike. He saw us and walked straight to our table.

“Get out” I say as he stops next to our table.

“I want to talk to Jamie” he says.

“Well she doesn’t want to talk to you. Besides you should be packing your shit and getting the fuck out of my house” I say and start to stand up. I can see that he contemplates whether or not he could take me on. Finally he decides that he can’t and starts to leave.

“And you better not show your face around here anymore or I won’t guarantee you’ll leave in one piece”

It had become a mantra for her. Every time she was doing something dangerous or risky, she would utter those words. Almost every time those words were accompanied by phrases such as “Why should I not enjoy my life while I can?” or “I don’t wanna be one of those people who in their last moments realize they didn’t live their life to the fullest”. She was a daredevil. And that’s why people gravitated towards her.

The first time she really understood the meaning of those words was on the saddest day of her life. It was the day her brother died in a hospital bed, weak, pale and surrounded by beeping machines. He had muttered those words to her every day since he got sick, usually accompanied by the words “But I’m not gonna die today”. Those words had been a promise that he wasn’t able to keep and she hated him for that. He had died too young, and she had promised him that she would live for the both of them. That was a promise she would keep if it killed her.

Unfortunately, it did. At least she died fulfilling her dream, that’s more than can be said about many people. So, I would like to suggest that we celebrate her life, not mourn her death.