Over the past couple of days, it has been relatively easy to eat what I should eat… fruits, veggies, nuts. And I can definitively say that it has not be “easy” to eat what is beneficial (instead of what is “okay” like tortillas, potato chips, feta cheese, etc.) since I finished with my Lent fast. I had a bit of “backlash” from not being able to eat those things for so long that it was all I wanted at first, and since in January I’ll be “released” from the covenant and able to eat whatever I want, it was good to know that it lasted a while… a month pretty much, before I started to feel like something was “off”. And even without the scale telling me that something was wrong, I knew that something was “off”. I can’t really explain it, but eating all of that stuff was just… dissatisfying.

Turns out, food just tastes like… food. Really all of it either fits on the “ick” end of the spectrum of taste or it fits on the “delish” end or somewhere in between. But, really… honestly… nothing really goes beyond “delish”. It’s like my tastebuds max out on a delish signal to the brain and that’s it. Nothing really tastes “super extra amazingly delish”. I think what tricked me into believing that this existed before was because of the emotional connection that I was attaching to the foods as I was eating them.

Donuts at Happy Donuts = super extra amazingly delish… because I was with my boys, having a good time, relaxing, indulging

Ribeye at Roadhouse = super extra amazingly delish… because I’d go there for my birthday when I was being celebrated, with my family, having a good time, relaxing, indulging

Cookie Dough = super extra amazingly delish… because I so rarely make it that when I did it was a special treat, an “I deserve it” kind of moment

And that list could keep going I’m sure, but what it boils down to is that I’m learning “the truth” about food. I’m learning over and over again that it really isn’t a good comforter. or companion. or whatever else it is that I have made it.

And even more dissatisfying was knowing each time that I was not honoring God with my choices. Yes, again, I was sticking with the covenant but I was sort of ignoring making my food choices as something that would honor Him and was focusing on myself and my “needs“.

Ya know, going on a “strict” fast for Lent of only fruits, veggies, and nuts (oh, and coffee… cause, seriously… I have a toddler… and if we follow the whole “What Would Jesus Do?” thing… well, if Jesus had a toddler… he would drink coffee!)… anyway, eating just those things for forty-six days and then coming off of that fast back to my regular Daniel Fast… well, it has been super good for me. A peek into the future of what I might experience, or think, or feel, or struggle with whenever my covenant is “over” in January 2013.

First of all, I have to say that this week of “struggle” has been, relatively, no struggle compared to my struggles with food in the past when coming “off” of a diet. Has it been a perfect week? No. But it has been a learning week for me. And that’s just what I want and exactly what I need. It’s sorta like going off of a diet while still being on… a diet.

My biggest lesson: the week “after” is the single most important week to read the Bible, pray, think on things of eternity, etc. And I say that because this has been a week where I have done pretty much none of those things! And it has been a crummy week! I didn’t want to read my Bible (yeah, thanks for that joy killer, Satan) and because I wasn’t reading my Bible I wasn’t really thinking about the things of God. And because of that I wasn’t really wanting to post. And because of that my mind began to wader from my freedom and back into my previous slavery. And because of that I was helpless to the mozzarella and bread sticks.

And oh. my. gosh.

Soooooo I just got out my phone to search for a verse to put with this post.

Oh! My! God! You are soooooo GREAT! You are AWESOME! AMAZING! My… EVERYTHING!

Friends, just read this verse that is oh-so-perfect for my lesson learned this week that God just plopped down in front of me and you’ll see why I say that He is so great, awesome, amazing, and my everything:

I have not departed from his commands, but have treasured his words more than daily food.Job 23:12

Amen!

PS… I love you God!!!

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I have thirteen more days after today to be on my Lent fast of fruits, veggies, and nuts. It has been far easier than I expected as well as extremely eye opening as to how much processed foods I consume even on my regular Daniel Fast.

Having said that, I miss cheese, eggs, and fish!

I mean… I miss the pasta and beans and rice and bread, too, but I only miss them because of the convenience of them in recipes, like spaghetti and pasta, stuffed bell peppers with rice, carribean style beans, and veggie enchiladas and tacos… ooooo, and a mushroom burger!!!

But all of those things I could take them or leave them, but I want a veggie omelet, a baked potato with cheese, a panko crusted tilapia filet!

I don’t want another orange.

I don’t want another apple.

I don’t want another raisin.

Honestly, I don’t think this way that all the time! But there are times when I look in the fridge for breakfast and get a little discouraged when it looks like I’ll be having yet another clementine. But most of the time I just grab whatever is on my fast to eat and just go forward from there which is a good sign, I think, that I’m moving away from food as a lust into food as a nourishment.

But, I do think about how the Israelites felt with manna everyday. I mean, I may not have as much variety as a non-faster has, but I have way more variety than manna for breakfast, manna for lunch, and manna for dinner.

But I guess in a way I do have manna for every meal. I mean, God provided more than just manna during those “drop feeds”.

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Look, I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.Exodus 16:4

And this is exactly the same learning that I am having to go through. I probably would have been one of those Israelites that gathered up extra only to find it had turned to rot with maggots in it.

Actually, I have been that Israelite. I have eaten more than what I need and the result was that I had an addiction to that “more”… a rotten, maggot-infested pile of “more”. of an overweight body. of an overweight soul.

But just like those Isreaelites that learned the hard way didn’t make the same decision again, I have handed over my pile of “more”… my extra… my excess. And in return, God has given me as much as I need. And it will feed me perfectly, well, for at least the 40 years it fed the Israelites!

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Meet Me

Hey there, friend, my name is January! Almost two years ago, realizing I was addicted to food (mainly sugar) I made a covenant with God to only eat certain foods and I'm blogging my way through it!

I'd love for you to join me on this journey as we seek God to help us through addiction to food, gluttony, overeating... whatever you want to call it. I truly believe that through covenanting with God that we can be free of this weight that brings us down, and we can move from gluttonous to glorious!