Sunday, February 16, 2014

Not Synonyms

It’s almost rare disease day. Does that mean anything to you?

It doesn’t actually mean much to me. I do not connect to the
observance of this day. I understand the
point is to raise awareness of uncommon conditions.And would venture that there is most likely a
fundraising component to it and a detailed mission of some kind, though what I
see shared on social media is centered only on awareness of rare diseases.

My daughter has a condition called Rubinstein-Taybi
Syndrome, and while it is rare, for her it does not manifest as a disease. For us, her family, teachers, friends, neighbors
-we do not treat it like one, we could not. One would never look at her and see
illness.And while I can see that wider
understanding in the medical world should help with diagnostics and possibly
treatment, unless you are a medical professional involved in her care, your
awareness of RTS doesn’t really do much for Addie. I’m just not sure how the average joe knowing the
symptoms of RTS makes a place for my girl in the world, how it informs a
friend, teacher, neighbor, roommate, coworker , boss…about who she is and what
she has to offer. There are a lot of
words I’d like to come to your mind when you encounter my daughter – smart,
limitless, witty, resilient, confident, generous, hilarious… disease isn’t 10th
on the list or 300th or even on the list at all.

Disease and disability are not synonyms.They do not refer to the same things. One can
have both, one can have either or one can have neither. Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome is a disability, not
a rare disease.An RTS awareness
campaign is of questionable value for my daughter.

Parents have asked what resources to give their young
child’s teachers to inform them about RTS.This is a natural question, but one I can only respond to with more questions
to consider. Why is it important for a
teacher to know the possible manifestations of one part of who the child is before
knowing the child himself?Does an understanding of
what could be involved in RTS help or hinder a teacher getting to know that student
for who he is as an individual learner? Will knowing what RTS may look like in
a range of children help his teacher teach better, will it help raise expectations
and assist in envisioning his future as a contributing citizen of many
communities throughout his lifetime?Will
it guide the teacher and administrators in setting a tone of academic expectations, dignity, friendship,
and daily leaps of faith within the school culture?Or might it unintentionally limit or even thwart some of these things
altogether if it comes before that teacher internally chooses faith in his potential and in his place in her classroom?

We work very hard on ensuring people see our daughter clearly
for who she is as an individual without limits.She is indeed rare – her always-amused demeanor is uncommon, her way of
showing her joy and appreciation is incredibly original, the 24/7 interest in
science and experimentation is not something that seems typical of all 10 year
olds, the way she declines to show incremental steps of progress towards a
goal, but rather waits to unveil the entire new talent or skill when it’s
complete is something you don’t see every day, her extreme love of dogs but
complete lack of desire to actually pet them throws people for a loop almost daily,
her memoryand attention to the details
that matter to her are unparalleled, she has a one of a kind adoration of water
in any form, any vessel, the fact that she has complex feelings and thoughts,
but feels no outside pressure to elaborate on these is singular.Yes, she’s rare.And these are the things her family and
teachers and friends need to know.We
spend nearly every waking moment ensuring others do not filter their view of
her through a lens of patronizing pity or general “otherness.”

To see this flurry of
activity on social media asking for the general public to consider RTS a
disease contradicts some of this work.It
can turn dignity to pity, belonging to merely tolerance. So while I understand our
circumstances are not an exact match to others’ and that people don’t make the
same choices as we do, we do not remain silent when those choices may negatively impact our own rare children.

<<<<<<whisper>>>>>>>
Pssst. There is no sickness in my home.
No illness. No disease. Disability, yes.

Disease, no.
<<<<<<whisper>>>>>>>

(This t-shirt and many other awesome empowering designs is from The Nth Degree )

20 comments:

Himy name Ako Tofiq, senior student at American university of Iraq Suleiman. there is a child in Kurdistan, in the northern of Iraq. she has the same disease(cannot walk and speak, but she feel and understand very well. beside, she keeps being tall while she is so thin). Her parents want to heal her. If you can do anything to her please let me know.

you can find me on facebook or twitter: Ako Tofiqor via this email address: Ako.itachi@gmail.com

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He runs for his girls

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Farmer John Cheese in a Nutshell

Ever

About Addie

Addie is a default smiler at 9 years old. She was diagnosed with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome at 2.5 years of age. She has had 3 surgeries, has sleep apnea and parasomnias and is functionally non-verbal. Though she has different cognitive machinery than the average 8 year old, through the help of sign, her communication device and a creative teaching team, she holds her own socially and academically in her regular second grade classroom and out the world.

Addie's present plans for the future include becoming an olympic swimmer, riding horses more than once per week, jamming as a drummer and leader of a rock band, meeting Rachel from Signing Times in person, making a guest appearance on Yo Gabba Gabba in the "cool tricks" segment and winning a golden ticket for a tour of Willy Wonka's factory. But these are subject to change without notice.

About Cate

Cate is a gregarious 13 year old about to enter hight school. She is a kind and thoughtful, generous sprite who also knows how to push buttons. Her confidence and beautiful singing voice have landed her on stage many times through choir, forensics and theater. She recently dazzled us all with a solo in her school musical.

Cate's current plans for the future are to be drama teacher and sign language interpreter, using both to run an inclusive theater. On alternate days, she'd like to be a rock star, actress and assistive technology specialist. We have good reason to believe she has time, passion and talent for all of the above.