Tours de Farce: Duty Calls

What's that? You haven't voted yet? "Maybe later," you say? Sorry, you can't look at any tour schedules unless you vote. That's the law. Go look it up if you don't believe us.

No, honestly, it really is the law. A little something Congress slipped in back during the Reagan Administration. You can't look at tour schedules posted on concert info Web sites on Election Day unless you've already voted. And we're jacked right into Election Central, so don't even think about fibbing.

You see, it all starts with concert schedules. In an effort to increase voter turn out, Congress decided to tie in voting with looking at tour data on the Web, making it illegal to look at tour schedules, like the brand spanking new routings for Destiny's Child or Dead Can Dance, on Election Day unless one has already voted.

For example, along with not being able to look at itineraries, like dates for Drowning Pool or the schedule for Herbie Hancock, unless you have voted, there is also a law that says you must be seated at a show before the support act begins to play. What's that? You didn't know about that law either? That's because you weren't paying attention.

Needless to say, everyone here at Pollstar.com has already voted. We were at the polls bright and early this morning. That's because we take voting as seriously as entering dates for Manic Street Preachers or Cyndi Lauper. After all, we'd hardly be good U.S. citizens if we didn't think voting wasn't as important as, say, the new dates for Biffy Clyro, or the latest additions for Brad Mehldau and k.d. lang. And you know what? It feels real good to vote. It's such a rush to step into that booth and cast that ballot for what we believe to be right. It feels great to vote. It feels so... so... so American!

In fact, some of us enjoyed voting so much, we did it twice. Gosh, is this a great country or what?