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New toy locks up smartphones, forces real ‘facetime'

Quincy Verret talks on the phone while at lunch at Big Mike's Thursday in Houma.

Benjamin Oliver Hicks/Staff

Kris JohnsonStaff Writer

Published: Sunday, March 24, 2013 at 6:01 a.m.

Last Modified: Friday, March 22, 2013 at 11:13 a.m.

Imagine you're in a restaurant with your family during dinner time. Now, look around your table at your spouse and children.

Chances are they aren't looking back at you, as their faces are buried into back-lit screens on smartphones and tablets. Children, teens and adults of all ages are texting, tweeting, posting to Facebook or Instagram or even responding to the latest email from their boss.

Do you ever wish cellphones, iPods, tablets or video games could be locked away, at least until dinner is over?

Mimia Brown, 33, of Thibodaux does. She said she's often bothered by people in restaurants or other public places with phones, portable video games or other hand-held devices.

“Having a phone at the table is rude and disrespectful,” she said. “Our child is not even allowed to bring his when we go out to eat.”

Annoyed with his kids' smartphones intruding on family time, Ike Sutton, a Brooklyn, N.Y. resident and father of six, created the Cell Lock-Up. The device is a toy jail cell large enough to imprison up to six iPhones, Galaxys and HTCs from a mandatory minimum of 15 minutes up to an hour.

Sutton works as a product design and marketing consultant for toymaker EB Brands. The company put the product on the market in December.

The Cell Phone Lock-Up costs about $20. It is a 7-inch cube with a mock bunkbed, allowing parents to double up on jailed devices if needed.

A voice alert sounds “Alert! Alert! Break-out in progress,” if anyone tries to free a phone from the slammer.

While locals agree wholeheartedly with the premise, many say they enforce electronics regulations at their homes in a much simpler way.

“We have family meals at our dining table, and there are no electronics allowed,” Houma resident Faith Albert said, adding that she gets the whole family involved in the regulation.

Brown said all children should be so astute, adding that adults need to set the proper example for table manners.

“I get bewildered when I see young children at restaurants with a (Nintendo) DS or some other electronic device,” she said. “Why not teach children manners; although, they do learn by example.”

Dana Davis, clinical psychotherapist at the Children's Advocacy Center in Terrebonne Parish said she absolutely agrees with the Cell Phone Lock-Up because “we have lost the art of conversation.” The only exception, she says, is for people who are on call at work or have an immediate, emergency need to have access to a phone.

“And in that, we've lost the art of truly communicating. Communication isn't just words. It's the thought, the emotion, the intent, the excitement you hear in people's voices, and it's the body language. That all makes up true communication,” she said. “But we're not seeing reactions and appreciating the impact of what we say. When we are face-to-face with people, we edit ourselves. We're more thoughtful with what we have to say. But we don't edit ourselves in that same way when we communicate in written mediums like texting.”

Krysta Ricks, 22, of Houma said her parents found a way to eliminate the issue completely — by keeping everyone's hands preoccupied.

“I'm not a parent, but in our household, everyone has a chore on Sunday evening,” she said. “Someone cooks, someone puts the food on the table, someone sets the dishes, etc. We also have Hi-Lo, which means to go around the table and everyone tells their high and low points of the week. All that meaningful conversation and busy work brings us together, and we don't really think about our phones until dinner's over. It's only once a week, but it means a lot to my family to be together on Sunday.”

Davis said the preoccupation with electronics exists in both youth and adults.

“It has become a barrier to true intimacy, not sexual but human interaction where people really connect,” she said. “That connection is especially a key component in dealing with your children. The role of electronic media for communication between parents with children should be a safety device and contact advice that allows you to reach them for location, emergency or if they have a need.”

The mother of two said cellphones should not be a primary device with which you communicate with your children, adding that she prefers conversations over the phone to text messages.

She said traditions like the one Rick's family practices play an important role in maintaining proper communication in families.

In fact, she enforced a similar practice while raising her kids, now 23 and 27.

“I told my kids, ‘As long as I pay for your cell service, I have control of that phone.' And I absolutely, positively believe it should be locked up from bed time until it's time to wake up. There is nothing they need to do that can be accomplished on their cellphones during those hours,” said Davis, whose patients range from ages 12 to 21.

She often sees parents who are unaware of how much time their children actually spend on electronic devices.

“Parents are diluted. A lot of communication that is not productive occurs during those hours,” Davis said. “Things that would have otherwise been dropped after school are not.”

Davis said families should also have at least one meal together per day, unless there are extenuating circumstances

“You need one, uninterrupted hour to communicate with your family every day. During a meal is the perfect time because everyone is relaxed, which is really conducive to conversation. It's not a stilted, ‘Oh, let's have a family meeting' thing,' and you'd be surprised what the kids tell you.”

Davis believes parents should “cowboy up” by making rules and sticking to them.

“We are failing in many ways as a culture to fulfill our role as parents,” she said. “Parenting is hard. It's easier to just say, ‘Oh well. I can't control it. They're going to do what they're going to do.' We need to establish rules with our children at 7 and 8 years old saying ‘We're going to solve this issue of respect now because we're not having this discussion when you're 14.' ”

Staff Writer Kris Johnson can be reached at 857-2207 or kris.johnson@houmatoday.com.

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