KUALA LUMPUR — Politicians from all divides in Malaysia have somehow done the impossible for the whole day today — they refrained from uttering anything remotely brain-dead.

In what political scientists are warning as ‘signs of Kiamat (Armageddon)’, public figures in politics, be it in state and federal levels all the way down to branch party and grassroots scene, have miraculously survived their waking hours without even making any statements that would normally turn stomachs and induce coma in averagely-intelligent people. Some were reported to have even said, in a matter-of-fact way, fairly smart, non-obvious and thought-provoking things, like “Let’s seriously look at what matters to the people”.

“This is an alarming development, I must say,” commented Universiti Malaya Political Science professor, Prof Dr Azahari Mans at his office this morning. “Politicians not uttering a single stupid thing? Actually refraining from expressing their so-called thoughts? This is surely a sign of the End of Days!

DANGEROUS DEVELOPMENT: Prof Azahari

“The people are used to hearing dumbass statements being spewed by those leading them,” added Prof Azahari. “These mind-numbing pieces of gem, like “Money politics is not a crime, it’s a lifestyle”, or “That highway collapse is an Act of God” are obviously the product of that vast space found in between the ears of many politicians, but we’ve all gotten used to it. They’re a part of life. Politicians cannot suddenly change and take that away from us.”

Some community leaders and Members of Parliament were heard discussing — and making some really deep statements — about the direction of the economy, and whether or not the region is truly on rebound from the recent slump. Some even expressed concern about how it will effect the livelihoods of their constituents, providing realistic figures and urging their own superiors to act.