Saturday, 22 August 2009

Naughty party

Maybe this is going to be weird to other people but until last night I had never attended an Ann Summer's party. And quite an experience it was too! First up was me thinking that the woman at the back of the room putting all those fancy knickers and bras on that stand looked vaguely familiar, but more of that later. I wasn't drinking as it was quite far away from the Dizz abode so I was Des for the evening. Great for everyone else but thinks I, how am I going to do these really embarrassing games when all that has passed my lips is fizzy pop?

The first game we had to do was to close our eyes and out of a sheet of A4 paper construct 1 x willy and 2 x balls to make a complete set. There were some very interesting creations as I'm sure you can well imagine. Mine wasn't that bad but was slightly out of proportion, chuckle. Next up was the pass the parcel which started out okay until the party woman stopped proceedings in order to say my full name and remind me that we used to go to secondary school together. Noooo! This could only happen to me. Anyhoo, bit of blushing later we were ready to proceed. Poor R was the first to open the parcel and get the challenge: she had to fake an orgasm. This was very early on in the proceedings, only about 4 sips of wine had passed her lips, so we agreed that we'd all do it with her. Mad! Lots of moaning, groaning and a couple of woo-ooooos later the parcel rolled around again. This time S had to simulate a blow job on a vibrator. The one problem I could see with this challenge was that her mam was sat 2 chairs down from her. Oh. My. God.

The next bit was quite nice as there were lots of fancy knickers and bras and babydoll chemises rolled out, and a couple of fancy dress outfits which had like 6 parts to them, complicated! Then the tone changed slightly as we started to look at the toys. I have to admit that I've been into Ann Summer's shops before and mainly just stared googly-eyed at the array of toys that were available - it's fascinating! I'd been told that at these parties you have to try vibrators on your nose as it's the most sensitive part of your body that you're allowed to display to the general public, but this was a myth. In actual fact it's the part between your thumb and your forefinger that gets the testing. Of many many different kinds. Small ones, big ones, ones with ears on them, ones with tiny vibrating balls in them, ones with 10 settings on (oh my word), ones that did like 3 different things at once, there was even one with a ruler available in the catalogue for measuring, um, yeah...

The next game was dirty word bingo. She flashed up cards and the person with the rudest word won the card. We weren't allowed to say the evil c-word, which I think is fair enough as that is a particularly horrible word but everything else was a free for all. The card J flashed up. And I couldn't help it. Out of my mouth popped the word "jiz" (I have no idea how to spell this correctly but I'm not going to google it but I'm sure you all know what I mean) Someone else had said something else so she made us repeat our words. It wasn't bad enough that I'd said it once but she made me say it twice. In front of S's mam! Oh the shame. Safe to say I won the card.

The final game involved 3 plastic bags and a roll of sellotape. With this we had to create the sluttiest outfit we possibly could, get someone to model it for us and then describe it to all the other party people. We made our model wear a black binbag corset with white detachable nipple tassles, pink suspenders and a whip and matching necklace. And she went home in that. Nice.

All in all, mucho fun was had. And I have somehow found myself being a hostess to my own party, so when you all get your invites, make sure you leave your blushes at the door and come and join in the fun!