mmLearn.org provides free online videos for caregivers of older adults. The videos include practical skill training (how to transfer someone from a wheelchair), dementia information from experts, elder nutrition, family dynamics and other important issues. A sharing and discussion group is webcast and available on demand. Visit www.mmLearn.org for more information or e-mail us at info@mmLearn.org .

Note: This is an mySA.com City Brights Blog. These blogs are not written or edited by mySA or the San Antonio Express-News. The authors are solely responsible for the content.

When Counting to 10 Doesn’t Work

Counting to ten has not been an especially effective technique for me when aggravated or stressed. However, someone recently introduced me to another technique that works better. It’s counting back from 100 by threes until you reach zero. The next time you think you absolutely cannot take another minute another second begin: 100, 97, 94, 91, and 88– I have to think about it, which causes an interruption in my thought pattern. 85, 82, 79, 76, 73. Breaking the thought, interrupting the focus is what works for me, and I have a couple of other things that have worked in our family. 70, 67, 64, 61, 58.

My husband received a Walt Disney Grumpy hat, and it became family property. Put that hat on and the message was instantaneous to everyone in the family–Do Not Talk to Me. Do Not Bother me. LEAVE ME ALONE. Somehow it also created a little humor and interrupted the stress and annoyance. 55, 52, 49, 46, 43, 40, 37, 34.

Another one that has worked is having a ridiculous, non meaningful word to interrupt the thought pattern. When the negative thoughts begin to dominate, bring these interrupting works to your mind. It might be peppermint caterpillar or purple snowflakes. 31, 28, 25, 22, 19, 16, 13.

Something that also works for me is asking “Will this matter five years from now?” If the answer is no, then it doesn’t matter now. 10, 7, 4, 1– the zero didn’t work out, but I feel relaxed. What do you do to manage anger, annoyance and anxiety? What tips do you have for caregivers?