A Children's Book Series on Adoption

Monthly Archives: November 2015

“Hi, my name is Olivia and I am 12 years old. I was from Indonesia, Jakarta. My parents adopted me when I was two and a half months old. I am just a regular kid but just came to my family in a different way. I am very open about my adoption, so I don’t have any problems sharing about it.”

Olivia (top) with her family

Hi Olivia, can you tell us how has your understanding of adoption has changed over the years?When I was younger, I thought that I was put up for adoption because my birth family didn’t want me. However, now, I understand that I was put up for adoption as my birth family wanted me to have a better life.

What made you decided to help your mum at the adoption disclosure workshops over?I tag along with my mother for these talks when I’m free. I like to experience talking to a crowd about adoption. Even though my mom is the main speaker, I feel that what she shares may not be enough information. The parents there might also want to know from a child’s perspective what disclosure is like. Thus, they get a bonus when I turn up!

What has your experience like being in these disclosure workshops?I find it quite fun observing people reacting to what I say. Some are quite shocked when I share how annoying I can be to my mum! Others are interested to know how I did school assignments like drawing a family tree or answering science questions about genes.

What has your take been on finding out more about your birth parents?I am going to find them when I turn 18. It’s a promise from my parents.

What are some things you wonder about your birth parents?I wonder about how they are doing. I also wonder if they still remember me, and if so do they miss me?

The other day, C. had a playdate with a couple of friends, and a parent asked if I could do a quick storytelling session with the kids. I didn’t think it was going to be an issue as it was in a nice cosy place with people he was familiar with. However, when the time came, C. proceeded to have a huge meltdown and I had to stop the reading halfway to scoop him up as he writhed around the floor.

The few days after, C. would line up the Squirky books against the wall within viewing distance from his bed to ensure that I would not take the books and tell the story to anyone else. Even now that he is ok about keeping the books in the bookshelf, he’ll still give a mini-lecture about how when I tell the story to other people, he is “not able to see the book” (?)

Like C., I haven’t been that great in sharing him with others. There’s been a fear of not being able to see what’s next, and of being too vulnerable, which is ironic since the story is all about facing such things. I’m working on this. There’s still much to learn.

As a start, I’ve been bringing Squirky (stuff toy) along with me whenever I go out, taking pictures of him with people, and getting him out in the open. In the photo above, I brought him to the library and the minute I took him out, these two boys (sitting behind) came up to me to ask who he was. They helped me “art-direct” Squirky for this shot.

I hope C. will eventually be comfortable with accompanying me for Squirky storytelling sessions (and he should, because he’s such a drama king). I hope that one day, he’ll realise that this story he sees as his alone is also a story that can belong to many other children.