Tonight’s documentary is the perfect kickoff for Pride Month. Before You Know It is the story of three gay senior citizens, men in their late 60s and 70s, who lived through repression and are now seeing amazing changes in LGBT rights. Our guests tonight are producer Sara Giustini and director PJ Raval. While Before You Know It highlights three gay men, the underlying themes of aging and acceptance apply across the board.

Ty, who grew up in Harlem and still lives there, works in the Harlem offices of SAGE, Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders. Now in a relationship with an old friend, he watches as New York State passes marriage equality–and yearns to be married himself.

For Dennis, a widower who lived a closeted life, after his wife’s death the internet provided him with an outlet. Closeted in his trailer park home in Florida, he visits Rainbow Acres, a retirement home in Portland, Oregon, and contemplates moving into the accepting retirement community where he can dress as “Dee” and not get stares when buying a nightgown at Goodwill. While a trip aboard a gay cruise exacerbates his feelings of isolation, he is embraced by the Portland LGBTQ in an amazingly beautiful way. Fate, in the form a broken water pipe in his Florida trailer, makes the decision for him, and he packs up for his new life.

Robert owns Texas’ oldest gay bar, Robert’s LaFitte on Galveston Island, which for over 40 years stages drag shows daily at the historic location. But along with losing his customer base of older gay men to death (what Robert calls “moving to California”), the bar faces potential closure from a lawsuit brought by the family of a drunk driver. With age taking its toll, Robert has ceded the day-to-day operations of the bar to his nephew, the only other out gay member of his family who hopes that the outcome of the lawsuit allows the bar to remain open so that the eclectic employees and customers will still have a place to go.

An estimated 2.4 million lesbian, gay and bisexual Americans are over the age of 55 in the United States, and many of them face heightened levels of discrimination, neglect and exclusion; while LGBT elders face a specific set of issues, aging and its challenges are universal. Before Your Know It stresses the importance of community, compassion and awareness for seniors everywhere.

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Thank you. And yeah, I tpye badly…

Welcome to Firedoglake Movie Night, and thank you for making the time to be with us tonight

We were actually inspired to make BEFORE YOU KNOW IT while touring with our previous film Trinidad. We met many LGBT elders, many who were facing difficult decisions…some considering going back into the closet at an assisted living facility for fear of discrimination.

I think that served as the initial spark. We started looking for communities where people were able to age with dignity and true to themselves. We found that these communities took many different shapes- LGBT-friendly retirement homes, a community center, a gay bar…

Thanks for your question!
The inspiration behind Before You Know It came in 2008, when I was touring with my last film, Trinidad, a feature documentary that follows three transgender women living in the small town of Trinidad, Colo., also known as the “sex-change capital of the world.” We were invited to screen in upstate New York, and screenwriter Ron Nyswaner (Philadelphia, Soldier’s Girl) was kind enough to organize a reception afterwards at the Hudson Valley LGBTQ Center in Kingston. At the event there was a good turnout of LGBT community members, and surprisingly enough, they were almost exclusively LGBT seniors. At that moment I realized how little I’d seen or heard of them as a community, and I started to question why.

I went around the room and thanked many of them for attending. In return, they shared personal stories with me, stories of living many years in the closet, or witnessing a large portion of their community die off during the AIDS crisis, or even grappling with the fact they’ve lived long enough to see gay marriage legalized in certain states. At that moment I realized that this particular group of people had seen such a large amount of change during their lifetime. Born before the civil rights movement, they have lived through the sexual revolution and Stonewall and now find themselves in a world where they can see openly LGBT characters on TV and listen to Lady Gaga on the radio. Around the same time, I was a volunteer film instructor to queer youth as young as 14, and I wondered if they were aware of the experiences that their LGBT elders had lived through. I was fascinated by the fact that both age groups were on opposite sides of the spectrum, and that I myself was somewhere in the middle. The LGBT community has recently placed a lot emphasis on supporting our youth, and rightfully so, but what about support for the other highly vulnerable group: our senior communities?

Weeks later I found myself still thinking about this overlooked group of people. I mentioned my experience in Kingston to Sara Giustini, who eventually came on as the producer of this film. Together we started researching the topic and uncovered pretty startling statistics, such as the fact that LGBT seniors are twice as likely to live alone as their heterosexual counterparts, and five times less likely to access social services. Living in a youth-obsessed culture, LGBT seniors face ageism, loneliness and discrimination. Overall, society at large desexualizes seniors, even though someone who identifies as gay is being defined by their sexual identity, making the two terms, “gay” and “senior,” seem at odds with one another. Clearly there have always been members of the LGBT community over the age of 65, but we are now seeing the first visible LGBT senior communities. Acknowledging the vulnerability of age and the need for one another, these seniors are organizing and creating their own communities in the form of living facilities, community organizations, bar establishments and so forth. They continue to blaze trails. On a personal note, around this same time, my mother and I started having conversations about her thoughts on retiring one day and the financial and emotional challenges involved. As a member of the LGBT community, I wondered what things would be like when I’m over 65. So I set out to make this film to find out for myself.

We found Dennis very early. He lived part time at Rainbow Vista, an amazing retirement community outside of Portland, OR. We found Ty after discovering SAGE, the oldest and largest advocacy group for LGBT seniors in the country…And finally, we found Robert “The Mouth” who runs the self proclaimed largest gay in Texas. He was important because he represented the self made family…

When we first decided to make this subject into a film we really wanted to cast a wide net. So we spent a lot of time doing internet research and found Rainbow Vista a senior active living facility where eventually I’d meet Dennis.

Definitely not enough…in fact, we were making the film during the economic crash. A lot of in-the-works facilities shut down due to lack of funding. Luckily, we are seeing more opening in the last year.

In many states facilities are allowed to discriminate based on sexual orientation.

Soon after we discovered Ty through SAGE (Services and Advocacy of GLBT Elders)Ty was originally going to introduce us to potential subjects in Harlem but soon as we met him it became clear he was an interesting subject to follow

I was moved by the youth volunteer at Rainbow Acres. I know a number of young queer kids who have seniors as their “gay mentors” teaching them history, culture, etc while also helpig the seniors with “new fangled” stuff form Gaga to iPhone apps…

When we first started researching we uncovered a lot of startling statistics like LGBT seniors are twice as likely to live alone since many do not have kids or partners, some have come out late or their partners have passed. Many do not have a family support structure in place

This is a good question. I think it’s important to note that our aging population as a whole is underserved. But LGBT seniors do face a specific set of challenges. LGBT seniors are less likely to access social services and more likely to live alone, without a caretaker than their “straight” counterpart.

First, there is definitely a great NEED for more outreach for the LGBT community. But there are great resources out there…SAGE for one. http://www.sageusa.org. They have affiliates in cities across the country (Portland, Salt Lake, Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Oklahoma City). There are also social organizations like the Prime Timers for gay men.

There is a great demand. There is some progress. Advocates are working to get lgbt sensitivity into cultural competency programs for medical professionals and caregivers. But there is still a lot of work to be done. We hope this film helps people recognize this need.

We are losing many of our historic gay bars in Silver Lake/Echo Park to gentrification–and these were defacto social clubs for many senior men. There is a senior resource center at The Center, but this is LA–in other places it must be a lot harder…

Well after we starting filming Dennis and ty, we always knew we wanted a 3rd character and living in Austin, TX it was important to me to look for someone not on the east or west coast, someone in the center. I had hear a lot about Galveston – mostly that it was a small town with a large senior population. That after a series of hurricanes also a lot of young people had left. I had also heard it had a lot of “vibrant” gay bars. So on a hunch we went down to Galveston and if you show up anywhere in Galveston and you ask about a gay bar or gay seniors they send you directly to Robert’s Laffite. So w/in 24 hours of showing up we met Robert and he became our third subject.

The response has been great. I think many folks are surprised to find how much they have in common w/ the subjects of the film. But of course we are all growing and learning about ourselves even when you’re 80. So a lot of young folks, straight folks, black and white all identify because after all aging DOES NOT decriminate!

Yes. SAGE Harlem fills a large whole in the community. There are also lesbian support groups, Christmas mixers, parties. And they are more than just a social organization they set up health screenings, connect elders to social workers and services.

What I hope BEFORE YOU KNOW IT illustrates is that different models work for different communities.

We are actually kicking off our theatrical tour in New York this Friday. We are excited to see how new audiences react. PJ and our subjects will be in attendance for a lot of the screenings, which is great because people are always interested to engage with them. They want updates! You can find out if we are coming to a city near you here: http://beforeyouknowitfilm.com/screenings

The bar is doing well! In fact I just was there last week.
Soon after we finished filming Robert discovered he had diabetes. So since then the bar has been very good about making him watch his health and making sure he takes his medication, etc

Yes. In fact, Dennis is full time at Rainbow Vista. And he’s very happy. Of course, Dennis is a world traveler. In the last six months he’s been to Singapore, Hawaii and Vancouver.

He’s much more confident as Dee. She even attended several BEFORE YOU KNOW IT Screenings! It’s been great to see all the guys become stars! They’ve been recognized at film festivals. And one of our subjects, Ose, was even recognized at a concert! An adoring fan asked to hug him and congratulate him on his marriage!

Well, we actually screened at a lot of LGBT Film fests last year (OUTFEST, REELING, InsideOUT). This summer we will be screening mainly at theaters as part of a more traditional theatrical run. But this makes tickets more accessible…and no waiting in line just to be turned away!

That being said we are coordinating with PRIDE and LGBT organizations in many of the cities. Like I said, we will be in New York starting this Friday. Other cities include Portland, Seattle, Palm Springs, Phoenix, Miami, Dallas, Austin, Iowa City. You can check out our screening page for almost daily updateshttp://beforeyouknowitfilm.com/screenings/

You can also bring the film to your community! We’ve partnered with a company that helps people bring a film to their local theater. It’s actually pretty easy! And a great way to get the film to communities that don’t traditionally support independent or queer film. http://beforeyouknowitfilm.com/request-a-screening/

Well they all have had negative experiences, some more than others.
If you can imagine Robert grew up in a small town outside of Houston in Texas and was openly gay in the early 60′s so that must have been really tough especially being the son of a Southern baptist

And there are cruises that seniors group together (like the primetimers)so they do have a presence for sure. Dennis has been going on “Dignity Cruises” which are a group of cross dressers that go on cruises together

The guys try to come out to as many screenings as they can. And sometimes we skype them in when they can’t make it. Ty will definitely be at the NY screenings. And Dennis/Dee will be at the PDX screenings.

I’m a big fan of SAGE; I made a presentation to their national conference over a decade ago, about our local annual event in SF for senior men called “Geezers’ Ball.” Like so many other words then and nowadays, it was controversial, more among the PC Word Police than among the audience we were trying to reach. Most men said, when asked by the local gay paper what they thought about the controversy, “But I *am* a Geezer!” And we had many self-identified Crones attend as well!

This is an invisible and underserved community in the LGBT world, with our emphasis on youth and beauty it’s not likely to change without competent and constructive efforts like your film. Thank you!

Yes. The DVD is still in the works, but we have quite a few extras planned…bonus scenes, an extended wedding video, a discussion guide. But something that I’m excited about are the q&a’s. We filmed a few of the discussions after festival screenings. It will be a great behind the scenes element.

Thank you. Most of the music was composed by the very talented Jimmy LaValle of The Album Leaf. PJ and our editor Kyle Henry selected a lot of the more popular songs in the film. And then of course, a lot of the music came from our subjects’ performances. In that case, we were just true to the story!

But we also have a couple new projects also focusing on LGBT content and subjects.
another documentary of course that I won’t say much more but looks at the younger generation of LGBT folks, and one fiction narrative film that I’m super excited about about the friendship between two unlikely people: a young southern queer kid and an older woman living in TX