Prophet (SAW) had given the title of
“the wise man of the Ummah” to Abu Darda (RA). He
commanded much respect for his intelligence, foresight,
understanding, wisdom and upright conduct. He relates that once
Prophet (SAW) asked his companions:

“Shouldn’t I tell you a virtue which
excels Salat, [prayer] Sadaqah [charity] and Saum
[fast]?”

The companions knew well the reward
for the Salat and that of Sadaqah, for which reward is
multiplied a hundred times. The also knew the virtue of the Saum
for which Allah (SWT) says that “Fast is for me and I Myself will
give its reward”, and according to another narration, “Allah (SWT)
will Himself be its reward.” The companions were all curious to know
the excellence of the act, which surpasses the Salat,
Sadaqah and Fasting, so they fondly submitted.

“Please advise us YaaRasul
Allah.” Prophet (SAW) said: “It is through bringing mutual
reconciliation between two estranged Muslims.” Prophet (SAW) meant
that if differences have ruptured the relations between two
brothers, then bringing them closer and creating harmony and peace
between them is a virtuous act, which excels the supererogatory (Nawaafil)
prayers and the fasts. In yet another tradition, Prophet (SAW) said:
“Mutual discords and differences are shavers.” Explaining it
further, he (SAW) added: “I don’t mean that it shaves your hair, but
it shaves of your faith, because the environment of hatred gives
birth to other sins like anger, backbiting, and accusations.
These sins extinguish the light of Faith and darken the heart.
Prophet (SAW) has advised us to be safe and away from differences,
quarrels and disputes.

This is an important advice of our
beloved Prophet (SAW) with regards to our social life. We should be
very careful and should not let the peace and harmony of our
individual and collective life be tarnished by discord. If we see
that there exists an estrangement between two individuals, two
families, or two groups, then we should sincerely work for
reconciliation between them.

Every one of us knows that Prophet
(SAW) is Imaam ul Ambia, the leader of all Prophets. He used
to lead the prayers and in his presence no one could do that. How
fortunate it was for his (SAW)’s companions to pray behind him and
under his leadership. You will be surprised to know that once he
(SAW) couldn’t go to the Masjid on time to lead the prayers
and the prayer was led by Abdul Rahman bin Auf (RA). Do you
know the reason? It was because that Prophet (SAW) had learned about
a discord between two groups of Muslims, so he (SAW) spent his time
in bringing back the lost love between them and that is why he was
late for prayers. What can be said more to emphasize the importance
of peace and reconciliation between two brothers or groups!

Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Qur’an in
Aayah 114 of Surah
Nisa:

“There is no good in most of their
secret talk, only in commanding charity, or good, or reconciliation
between people. To anyone who does these things, seeking to please
Allah, We shall give [him] a rich reward…”

and Aayah 10 of Surah
al-Hujuarat:

“The believers are brothers, so make
peace between your two brothers and be mindful of Allah, so that you
may be given mercy.”

Prophet (SAW) said: “I guarantee a
house in the middle of Paradise for him, who quits a quarrel in
spite being on the Haq”, i.e. being right and
justified on his stand and yet giving up the argument to prove
himself right. Our beloved Prophet (SAW) had taught us that for
bringing two estranged brothers back together in love and for
resolving their dispute, if one says a thing which is not true, than
the person wouldn’t be considered a liar. The fact further
underscores the importance of reconciliation. [Bukhari & Muslim]

Our religion has clear instructions to
resolve problems arising out of disputes and differences among
individuals and groups. These instructions can protect us from many
evils. Haji Imdadullah Muhaji Makki (RehmA) has diagnosed our
ailment and prescribed the medicine. He said that we don’t get tired
calling for unity and preaching others to get united, but are
ignorant ourselves about unity’s very root and basic requirement. We
fail to do what we preach. He recommended us to inculcate two
essential characteristics, namely Tawa’zo [humility]
and Eesaar [sacrifice and consideration for others].
The main cause of our differences, disputes and quarrels is lack of
Tawa’zo and over consciousness of “self pride”. Unknowingly
we suffer from ‘superiority complex’. We think that we have rights
over others, but at the same time disregard the fact that others
have rights over us too. We expect others to be dutiful to us,
but forget that we owe duties towards others also. We have a
frail ego and keep feeding it with over sensitivity about our own
importance. We think that we have all the wisdom that there is, and
others are less intelligent and so less important. The second flaw
in us is the lack of Eesaar, [consideration for others] i.e.
the lack of the spirit of sacrifice for a brother by giving
him more importance over the self and preferring his need over our
own need.

Reconciliation and peaceful conduct
of our affairs is very essential for the good of our society. It
is a great sin to further the breach and widen the gap of
differences between two brothers or two groups. Such a sin generates
more sins causing the sinner to sink deeper and deeper into sins.
Our faith dictates us to act as a bridge between two estranged
brothers, work to ease the tension between them, and help resolve
their dispute, bring them closer to each other in peace and harmony,
and strengthen the bonds of love.

We should clean our hearts of anger,
envy, jealousy, pride, prejudice, rancor, self importance,
selfishness, and showmanship. We should evaluate our words,
examine our actions and interactions, pay attention to our verbal
and non-verbal communication, i.e. body language and continue to be
our own unbiased judge. We should build our character on healthy
lines, be vigilant to guard our own conduct and continue to purify
the heart. We should learn to be polite and humble. We better
correct ourselves before jumping to correct others. If we are sure
that our brother needs to be corrected, we should then learn the
tact and wisdom; choose the right time, the right method and the
right words, otherwise our act is bound to be counter productive.
Forgetting and forgiving are virtues and we can find these
attributes only in a Momin, who is always considerate,
generous, gracious, large-hearted, noble and forgiving.

Interpretation of the Holy Qur’an by
Haafiz Ibne-Kathir (RehmA) mentions an incident related by
Anas (RA). He says that he once saw Prophet (SAW) smiling.
Sayyidina Umar (RA) submitted: “Yaa Rasul Allah, what
brought smile to your blessed lips?” He (SAW) replied: “I saw two
people of my Ummah kneeling before Allah (SWT).

One person said: “Yaa Allah, I want
revenge because this person has oppressed me, i.e. has done wrong to
me.”

Allah (SWT) commands the oppressor to
pay the grieved person his due.”

The oppressor submits; “My Lord, I have
no single good deed left in my account, to give him exchange for the
wrong I did to him.”

Listening to this excuse, the oppressed
person requests Allah (SWT) to have his bad deeds transferred to the
account of the oppressor.”

Allah (SWT) commands the oppressed to
look up and see the Paradise.

The oppressed looks up and exclaims: “Yaa
Allah, to whom belong these palaces of gold and mansions of silver;
they must be for the prophets, the exalted truthful believers, and
the martyrs?”

Allah (SWT) says: “They belong to
whoever pays their price.”

The oppressed submits again: “My Lord,
who can afford their price?”

Allah (SWT) responds: “You can pay its
price.”

The oppressed submits: “How my Exalted
Lord, how?”

Allah (SWT) replies: “By forgiving your
brother.”

Stunned and amazed by the answer, the
oppressed submits: “I forgive him my Lord, I forgive him.”

Allah (SWT) commands: “Then hold on to
the hand of your brother and both of you enter Paradise.”

Having narrated the incident Prophet
(SAW) added: “O, People fear Allah; keep reconciled with each other,
Allah (SWT) will also reconcile people on the Day of Judgment. [Tafseer
ibn Kathir. Vol. 2 p. 269].

May Allah enable us to realize the importance of the gift of life
and the countless blessings we have been bestowed with and utilize
our time prudently and wisely and the way it pleases Allah (SWT) and
His Messenger (SAW). Aameen!

The Friday Khutbahs are published to enhance your knowledge
of Islam. The references of Quran and Hadith are the
approximate translation of the Arabic text. The editors have not
verified the accuracy of the the English translation. The scholarly
reader is encouraged to refer to the original Arabic script if there
is any doubt. Kindly notify us if the translation can be enhanced.