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So about that Sexy Chivers… (7 Photos)

Once a year, the Chivers are allowed out in public for our annual Christmas undoing. Last night we went to IRIS, the spectacular Cirque du Soleil show at the Kodak Theatre.

At that time, I had every intention of bringing you a Sexy Chivers today but the wheels fell off that intention somewhere in ether of the evening. Ever have one of those nights when you tell yourself, 'alright, fuck it, I'm getting Christmas Uncle drunk tonight'?

So please accept my apology for all this, it's happened before and I can't promise it won't happen again. We're not the smartest lot over here. I'll make next week's Christmas SC one for the books, promise. Stay tuned for the Friday DAR, I'm sure you'll find some hi-res Chivettes in there somewhere.

Also, if anybody has seen Mac the Intern today, please return him promptly to his parent's basement.

You guys are a bunch of piss flaps. I get shit faced every night and still make it for a 12 hr. shift. Punk bitch

Uncle Sam

I'm guess that's why I can buy a DVD player, made in China, for $12….but the same shitty product 'Made in Merica' costs 15 times as much.

HipposKill

I just . . .get some help?

Sandra

That's sad. I feel bad for you that you have to drink every night. Been there done that. It sucks.

hello please

Seconded.

designit

piss flaps. funny words are funny

http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

No my friend, you're funny

laugher

Something to be proud of…Douchedom lives..

MissMechanic

Party on! You guys do a great job on the site already, you guys are sexy! Much love keep calm and chive on! Thanks for putting a few of me up there in the past 😛

loserpatov

Slut.

http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

I think female mechanics are sexy,why no profile pic?

WOO WOO

So I don’t get it… “Sexy Chivers”? Aren’t Chivers males who look at this site? Does nobody else get it? Wouldn’t “Sexy Chivettes” be much more accurate? How does nobody pick up on this glaring inaccuracy???

4098

No, I have. I just don't give enough of a shit.

http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

If you think it is the title that matters, then you've got it all wrong

Apple

This obviously should've been posted on the Berry.
WHO'S WITH ME? WHO'S WITH ME?
Mmm wait, those are their sisters. Never mind.
Fuck.

laugher

Doesn't matter…Had sex..

Bezaile

So female Chivers aren't Chivers in your opinion? Considering "ette" is defined as "a lesser form, thereof," I'm inclined to think you're either not smart enough to make a comment such as what you have, or you're a sexist. Either way, you lose.

WOO WOO

I don’t get it. Where’d my comment go. Why is it sexy Chivers and not sexy Chivettes??? Aren’t they girls???

Texan

I feel you… I drank 3 long island iced teas and half a bottle of gin last night. Good times

All methed up

Christmas uncle drunk. Very clever I’ll have to use that one

John

Worst. Sexy Chivers. Ever.

Northrop grad

John, will you guys be going home to Fort Wayne for Christmas this year? There's a lot of Chivers here in you hometown!

tkid

Fort Vegas FTW!

John

Yep, we're all coming home to Fort Vegas. I'm sure you can find us out at Columbia Street on the 23rd in roughly the same condition you see me above. As always, please say hi and the drinks are on us.

Verbal_Kint

how irrersponsible. you can't have an open container of alcohol, the drink, anywhere in a vehicle. bad example. Enter text right here!

hMMMM

it's called a limo. travelin in style nowadays, huh John?

Verbal_Kint

it's still illegal to have an open container in a limo douche. dad was a cop for way too long.

Obama

California Vehicle Code prohibits open containers with the following exception

23229. (a) Except as provided in Section 23229.1, Sections 23221
and 23223 do not apply to passengers in any bus, taxicab, or
limousine for hire licensed to transport passengers pursuant to the
Public Utilities Code or proper local authority, or the living
quarters of a housecar or camper.

look who's the douche now fucker.

Kaiser_Soze

are you sure that they are in CALI??? fuck off

Gabby

the chive is based out of Venice Beach, California

DoomsDayDub

Your dad being a cop is practically proof that what you're saying is false. Get a life!

KyleGamgee

Better luck next time, Kaiser Soze.

Vervbal_Kint

Its not Kaizer, its Verbal dick muncher.

poetic

and he was driving no handed!!!

(you idiot)

The_Dood

Actually it is legal for a passenger to have an open contained in Tennessee as of last year, if I remember correctly.

rabble

There are states with no laws regarding open containers (of alcohol), and there are states that allow people to be drinking in the vehicle as long as the driver is not. That is why I always buy a beer when driving through Mississippi, because I can.

JROC

Next week sexy chivers Xmas edition.

Active_hunter

With an addition – there must be a red bow in the pic.

JDB

Eh, party John.

Jason

Not the worst. This could be much much worse…

AssClown

#4
I beg to differ:

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Mac's on a roll!

Hugs,
Paula
– Fan testimonial: "Paula, I'm going to vote you down on this one, because I know that's what you're after. As long as we have an understanding that I think this is completely hilarious."

DeDav

I would facepalm here, but thankfully it works…

zym

Foreshadowing, motherfuckers.

Get with your 10th grade english.

mike b.

#7

The guy just wants to hug his lamp, guys. Let him be.

dagleja3

It's all fun and games until somebody still their head through the lamp!

bh4q

i love lamp.

Dunny_

"And this lamp. – The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all I need."

Colin

DO really love this lamp or are you just saying you love things that you see?

SquishyFlint

I…LOVE lamp.

Mac

I heart lamp.

MacNCheesePro

I thought he was puking in a fishtank at first…….that would've been just as good, lol

2pumpdump

snookie? Is that you?

paulson

#4

… and then Mac was on a conveyor belt

Rahm Emanuel

Is he wearing black sneakers with a suit? Pay the kid enough to buys some appropriate shoes would you!

SquishyFlint

That's actually where the coal chute into his mother's basement drops him off.

etcrr

and then Mac was on a conveyor belt saying paint me like one of your french girls

R2GFan

#7 I love…lamp.

James Baker

#1, #5

I actually like this site for its flaws. I'd rather have a John that got drunk and didn't post an SC every now and again than some indifferent corpo. website that delivers content exactly on time and goes home at 6pm sharp every day.

winfields

That is a really good point, and thank you for bringing that up.
Part of the fun with this site is that (for the most part) you never know what the next posting will be, or at what time for that matter. Sometimes DAR is early, sometimes DAR is late (what time is DAR actually supposed to happen anyway?) On the East Coast it's usually between 4:45p and 5:30p though it fluctuates. I even like how there won't be any new posts for 2 or 3 hours (like today) and then you come back to find a Dopamine Dump post, and on and on and on…. thanks for making this Friday bearable!

Ghost in the Machine

Totally agree. It's stuff like this that makes it about "us", not "us" and "them". It's the same with SC, it's about real people, in real lives.

Rahm Emanuel

It is called a hangover. Get over it, and put up the SC!!! Did we give up because we had a hangover when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor? NOOOOO!!!

Dman

With that being said, i'm pumped for some SC next friday. 😀

Claire

It's ok, Johnny boy. Go have a good time and thanks for always responding when I write. Sadly, my boobs will have to wait till next week 🙂

#5

JROC

why chive? why make us wait:?

Web Wizard

If you really can't wait, there is still a way to post your boobs here

Dunny_

dropping to my knees and looking up at the sky….

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Skedaddle

If you can't wait, I can get my my email addy….

oooyeah

Hang in there Whore ,he`ll make ur pic avlbl for the chivers so that they can fap very soon.

Clark_Griswold

Uncle Eddy from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation drunk.

J-Diddy

Shitter was full!

r00s7a

That's cousin Eddie, dumbass.

Whoopi_G

Penis pumps are cheaper than I thought.

Unfkngblvbl

#6 You guys get a pass…Merry Christmas!

D.Bag

If you're not barfing and you're non-functional, you are truly a lightweight.

jroc

i can't jerkins off to this!!

fapfapfap

Challenge accepted.

Rahm Emanuel

No actually you can jerkins off to this…but then you would figure out you were gay…

Spencer_on_Fire

If it wasn't for the drunkness and the good times, I doubt I would have ever been drawn to this site. Thanks guys for all that you do…….as for Mac, if he's lost in LA, he's probably stuck on Sunset with no clothes, sleeping on the sidewalk

#7
No, the lamp can't go with you

KimiD

Dammit guys – the FIRST time I actually submit a photo for the Chivettes and you f*ck it up!
Murray Kissmyass indeed!

Brian

Lighten up, Francis.

KimiD

That's Mr Cross to you

The Dude

Keep Calm Boo

Chiver Troll

#4 sexy chiver in my book

Becka7

I agree!!!!

GamerGirl

yep 😉

jennifer

#5, #2

No worries, John. Also, I think you're kinda' cute 😉

Becka7

Yes John is very cute!

Jason Dean

It's Christmas – if you can't take it easy and let some things go now…when can you? And not a single HO,HO, HO was given. Well, maybe a few.

Resignation Media

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