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First, there is a time in our 20s we begin to grow away from our parents, but at 21 yrs old and living at home, your mom is still being a mom and that could drive you crazy in itself. Moms usually do not understand that times have changed since they had kids, and they, as grandmas, will do things there way.

While you are still living w/her, choose only 2 or 3 things that are your really important rules for your kids and ask her if she can follow those. Make sure and kindly explain to her how important these things are to you and that you just ask that she respect you by also following these rules w/your kids. But then also respect that she will have a different opinion than you.

If you decide to put them in daycare, go from the structure of daycare angle and that you want them to learn to be in a structured setting w/other children their age. Even if you are bothered by what she is doing, it is best not to tell her you are putting them in daycare for any reasons that have to do w/her.

If she is taking things out on you and you recognize what it is, just politely and calmly ask her not to, ask that if she's mad at something else to please not turn that anger at you or your kids. It will happen again, since it's her habit to do it this way, so ask her politely again each time it happens. If she continues, take the kids and leave for a little bit and come back...she'll get the point that you mean business...but do not use anger back.

If you are leaving soon, these things will help you get through til then so you can make all your own decisions without dealing w/your mom still over you.

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