If all we do with a partner is what feels good to us and what we want, and deny that partner everything which could feel good to them, we’re not really having partnered sex: we’re using that partner as a masturbation aid, and that’s not cool.

Someone telling you they don’t want to be intimate and that they don’t like it when you do sexual activities for them is usually telling you quite clearly that they just are not feeling it with you when it comes to sex.