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A real-life warlock is mad that Charlie Sheen is referring to himself as a warlock. Christian Day is part of Salem’s Coven of the Raven Moon and told TMZ.com that Sheen’s choice of words – “Vatican assassin warlock” – offended his sensibilities as a warlock. Day has a plan to punish and cure Sheen all at once:

“I am going to magically bind Mr. Sheen, not to harm him, but to simply prevent him from using this word in such a negative manner in the future. If Mr. Sheen is open to it, our coven would be willing to perform a cleansing on both him, his home, and his career.”

I think Mr. Day just needs to calm down. I mean, at least he’s a Warlock and not a Troll like me. I should be the one upset at Sheen! Ahh, no matter, let’s watch one of Sheen’s “Goddesses” in action…