have you decided to live yet?

empty and vacant

In my highschool, we put on a play named “pippin”, yes, the famous musical.. about that hero that just keeps repeating that phrase “i feel empty and vacant”

i think I know the significance of this phrase now..

Is it because I used to have 3 jobs plus the university load and now that I am unemployed and graduated I feel empty? or is it because the sit in has been forced out of tahrir and public opinion is against revolutionaries and i cant seem to find a good idea to regain public support? or is this the post travel blues that I usually get after I come back to Cairo?

I think its all or none of the above.. but i think it’s because my grandmother passed away.. I didnt see her that much this past year, or at least as much as I wanted to.. but knowing that she’s there is reassuring… like having a spine.. something that you cant stand up without and take for granted.