This is a companion piece to Too Much. You may want to read that first to get the feel of this vignette.

Too Far

DS Bauden

I don't know what to call you, so please forgive my improper greeting.

If there was ever a time in my life when a woman made me stop and take notice, it was the day that I saw you. You were so beautiful, how could I not? Do you remember how our eyes locked? It seems like so long ago. My heart hasn't beaten the same since that blustery afternoon.

I've never encountered such passion in my life. No, not even with him. Perhaps it was a mistake to voice that aloud. Your eyes gleamed with victory as mine clouded with uncertainty. It's difficult not to compare you. You are a siren song to my ears, but he calls to me in ways you wouldn't understand. I wish I could blink it all away and live happily ever after, but this is not Neverland.

The guilt I carry never used to feel this way. Initially, when I'd return to my bed beside him, I was able to fall asleep easily. I would just think of you and what we'd shared only hours before. The scenario is still the same, except now, I cannot sleep. I look upon his peaceful face and cannot bear the thought of hurting him.

I've felt a change in you over the past few weeks. A subtle shift of sentiment, as it were. It's easier for me to work out my worries on paper, which is why I'm sending you this letter, and also, frankly, I'm a little scared. What am I to you? I feel as if your life depends on mine for nourishment to exist. I cannot be the sustenance you require!

I pause as I write this, as several days have passed since I began. My thoughts are all jumbled and my emotions are on high. I have been forced to make a very difficult decision.

When I left your bed the last time, indeed it was for the last time. Calling attention to our union wasn't something you should've done. I'll never forget the look on his face. Damn it! Why did you kiss me like that, and why in front of him? Words will never be enough when you've instilled pain in someone's heart. I know that now.

You are a stranger to me now. You were once the woman who took my breath away, but now you've taken so much more. Why did you have to love like that? It was too much for me and too much for us. It took away your clarity, your belief and lastly, your beauty.