This meetup will NOT be sold to Oklahoma City

Remember, Wonketteers in Oregon, Washington and even one or two of you freaks from Idaho: This is the weekend for the Decidedly Unofficial Seattle Gathering of the Wonkalos, and if enough people show up, we promise to never again use that term! The shindig will be Saturday June 30 starting at 6:30 PM at Latona Pub in beautiful Seattle.

The Wonkette gathering will be in the upstairs loft and pavilion. Be ready to drink like the Fremont Troll, if the Fremont Troll were able to set down that Volkswagen and pick up a pint. Your Correspondent will be there, assuming his 1973 Chevrolet, Vlad the Impala, does not deplete the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in making the trip from Boise.

Please note that this reader-organized event is not part of the officially-sponsored Wonkette Drinky Thing, so if you were expecting any actual Wonkette editorial staff to show up, you would be sadly disappointed.

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

Conservatives have had a hard on about values clarification since the mid/late 1970s. This was when stats were clearly showing that programs that included that stuff in early childhood, like Head Start, was producing older kids who were much, much less likely to get involved in gangs & drugs. Oh no can't have teaching kids that sort of stuff they may start questioning about Noah, Shem, Ham and Japheth riding on dinosaurs.

What about us smug ex-pats living in the Socialist Paradise also known as British Columbia? We will bravely cross the border into the gun-crazed methlab known as "Seattle" and flaunt our healthcare, gay marriage, and five weeks vacation in your lumpen faces, and perhaps buy you a pint with our fancy money supplied by Communist China, which they give us by the boatload for oil and dead trees and other shit we used to sell to America when it was a real country.

Doktor Zoom

You know, I was going to mention you Canada guys, and then I went to get another cup of coffee while I was typing, and plum forgot.

So typical, and so characteristic of the relationship between our two nations.

OldWhiteLies

As long as you don't bring any Tories with you – or tar sands for that matter, then I for one will welcome you heartily. Wayward depressed and mourning Leafs, Canucks, Sens and Habs are also welcome.

What the hell, bring an Atlantic-er or two, and snag anyone who sounds like Chantal Hébert to bring with also, to round out the panel, as it were.

Fox n Fiends

A+ for the Chantal reference. she's the best.

PS Wonkalos comes from Juggalos. Do some research, if you dare….

OldWhiteLies

I watch the CBC daily. Their [allegedly] party-aligned commentators actually speak to and of each other with moderate respect. Substantive policy conversations are had. However CAN politicians themselves have sadly devolved into US-like parodies of themselves.

Have you attempted full CAN citizenship, or are you work-visa-ing it?

Fox n Fiends

Full citizen.

While the American influence is certainly grotesque to behold, I work with and know plenty of conservatives who are to the left of Obama. If the Libs and NDP ever merge they'd have an easy majority.

I would be an ex-pat living in beautiful, sane B.C., but couldn't be that far from the grandkids. Five weeks vacation? That's so European. Lucky you.

OldWhiteLies

Hell, as if just the drinking with like-minded peoples wasn't enough; now I get to witness the storied chariot that is Vlad the Impala. Giddy anticipation ensues.

But Wonkalos? Is that some sort of Latin-ification of Wonketteers?

lulzmonger

Don't mourn, organize LIKE A BOSS.

Lionel[redacted]Esq

So, everyone is going to wear a face mask of their avatars, right, so we can recognize each other? Or is emmelemm actually a jumping pig? I'm going to try to make it just to answer such questions?

emmelemm

My pig is flying, not jumping!

Oink!

Today she's really flying, because the Supremes upheld "Obamacare".

MissTaken

Wonkalo makes me think of that song, you know that song. The one with the "low, low, low, low". That song where Tom Cruise was dancing and something something apple jeans, furry boots. Oh you know what song I'm talking about.

Southbound I-5ers who are not familiar with the Green Lake area might find taking Exit 169 the easiest. For northbound I-5ers you absolutely want to take Exit 170. When you are on the exit ramp, just after you pass the Exit 170 road sign (it'll be on your left towards I5) make sure to look to your left. This is the beloved Betty Page exit. City streeters will obviously know where they are going ;=)

emmelemm

When the Exit sign is on your left, you'll want to look to your right, if I'm not mistaken?

I just received my "Learn About the United States: Quick Civics Lessons for the Naturalization Test" pack from USCIS, perhaps I shall bring it to quiz my fellow Wonkalos. And out any secret communists, obviously!

I don't remember sitting on the ceiling… but, hey, I was drinking: the tape doesn't lie.

a_pink_poodle

The bar is notorious for not shielding against the effects of Lionel Richie dance parties next door.

a_pink_poodle

We were supposed to take sideways images, not upside down!

IT'S ALL RUINED!

BoatOfVelociraptors

It is way too loud.

BoatOfVelociraptors

Sorry to dash, but my bus comes in 2 minutes.

Nostrildamus

Lovely to talk to y'all last night: WeeJee, Owls, Emmellemme, BigSkullFuckingDog, JonWhoDoesntComment and the rest whose handles I can't recall at the moment. Had dinner w/ the wifer afterwards and she told me "The thing I love about you is that you're always growing … well, maybe not your sense of humor …".

Isyaignert

Great to meet you too Nostrildamus! Damn pity that Doktor Zoom and Vlad the Impala couldn't make it to the shindig, but it was great to meet so many Wonketters and I've been having big fun with my door prize – <a href="http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Nunzilla.html” target=”_blank”>www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Nunzilla.html.

Thanks again WeeJee for setting this up and thanks to our Editrix for everything you do to keep me sane, informed and entertained.

I luv yous guys!

a_pink_poodle

Alright, Lurker Jon! Now get an account and a picture for your avatar!

anniegetyerfun

GAWD, it kills me that I didn't get to go. I hope everyone had a blast.

Doktor Zoom

Also, too, Seattle meetup-goers with pictures and stories of the party should email me at doktor underscore zoom at-sign yahoo dot com. This comment will self-destruct in 24 hours or so to prevent spam.

If you have usernames to go with photos, so much the better!

News on the Fix Vlad pun-raiser to come soon.

emmelemm

Cool!!

ETA: BoatOfVelociraptor's comment below has a link to a video. You can mainly see Weejee.