I couldn't think of anywhere else to share this. After a semi truck rear ended me last year; I lost my baby, and have been disabled from work. I left an emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive BF, and started worrying about myself. Here I am, drawing blood as a phlebotomist in training.

I don't know what I believe religiously, but the girl I nanny said something really beautiful when she was 8 or 9. She said that she didn't think souls really attach themselves to a body until we're born (according to her, it may be even why babies decide now is the time to come out! Souls need to breathe!) So if a baby is never born, its soul is still there, just waiting - Like someone who missed the bus ready to catch the next one.

So maybe the reason you feel your little one still with you is because they love you so much, they're willing to wait around and try again the next time you're ready:) Makes perfect sense to me! You seem like the kind of person worth sticking around for!

Like I said, I don't know if any of that's true, but it was a really lovely thought to me. I hope it makes you smile too!

Someone else had told me that too. I believe that it could be possible. I've been atheist for years, but have seen/felt family and friends around me after they passed. I like to say that I'm spiritual now, versus being full blown atheist. At the same time, I don't believe in any entity. So, I'm not quite sure what my beliefs are. Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate it, and it gives me peace. It definitely made me smile, and I really appreciate you taking the time to type that. :-)

Whether you believe in souls, spirits, or a higher power or not, we're all made of the same atoms and experience the same chemical processes and I think those things are worth finding beauty in. We're all star stuff and before you're born and after you die you're just as connected to the universe as everyone and everything else.

The love you feel for your child is still something incredibly special no matter what your spiritual beliefs are and whether or not your child is still with you. That love and connectedness belongs to you, and that will always be the case.

they're willing to wait around and try again the next time you're ready

Ah, as much as I love this sweet story, I don't think it's a good idea to tell this bit to someone because it kind of puts pressure on them to try again. And in case they don't want to try again or something goes wrong, the guilt will be worse...

I understand what you're saying. At the same time, I don't feel pressure to have another baby, right now. I'm more concerned about creating the life I want, and deserve. Once I feel like I've accomplished what I've set out to do, then I would like to have children.

You're right, but from her other comments, it sounded like OP wanted to try again someday so I was actually talking specifically to her when I said "you."

Didn't expect this story to get so much attention, but since you brought it up, we actually did more or less discuss something like that. In the girl I nanny's version (not exactly that scenario when we were talking about it, but something along those lines), they sometimes stick around one person for a while, but they're cool with moving on to another or simply catching the next available life right away. Souls are intuitive about the world around them and time I guess works differently for them.

I even added my two cents that maybe if that soul never actually ends up being born to that original person, they might find some other way to connect with them to say hello down the line.

According to her, all this is also especially relevant in alternate universes (she really took to the idea of string theory haha) or if someone goes back and accidentally messes with the past.

I lost my sister very suddenly the year I started looking after her (only a few months previous when I started - It's been two years now). She knew all about it and wasn't afraid to ask questions and talk about it with me. I was hesitant at first, but it actually became a major part of my healing process. She didn't have any of the adult hang ups. Just genuine curiosity about what I was going through and interest about who my sister was as a person. She's a remarkably insightful and imaginative child. Super mature in many respects, but still very much a child in others. Often deliberately so (especially lately in the face of a lot of girls in her class who are in a rush to grow up). She's awesome. I honestly consider her one of my best friends.

Anyway, we philosophized a LOT that first year. I could write a book about some of the ideas she came up with about life and death and the universe. Maybe someday I will:)

Awww! That just tugged on the heart strings. I hope she is! She was there when I was going through the hardest parts from the accident. When I lost her, it broke my heart. Everything I've done since then, I've done for myself, and for her. I know she'll come back when the time is right. :-)

When my mom was young she was rear ended by a semi, and my sister who was a little under 2 at the time was in the back seat. They both got out unharmed and the trucker was sent to prison because he was high at the time but your post has reminded me how lucky I am and I really need to stop crying and call my sister lol.

More to the story. Since my accident, I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I've been able to get up every day, and push through whatever obstacle is in my way. When you start living your life for you, it begins to have meaning again.

You are a rockstar. I'm so sorry all these terrible things have happened to you but you are such a strong, persevering woman. So happy you are pursuing a new career path. Sending a high five and a hug your way.

I'm a 19 year old boy who suffers with depression. I don't see any light in my future. I don't understand your strength. I have no one around me to call friend or to reach out to.. I just feel as if I'm going to walk alone in a circle of confusion forever, please give me some advice on how you do it.

I didn't have anyone around either, and my ex who is suppose to love and support me, didn't. You need to look deep inside yourself and find out what will ignite the fire in your soul. What will make you happy? Until you know that answer, no one can make you happy.. The times when you're alone, that's when you find your strength.

You have worth and you matter. I know you cannot see the light right now but there are people who care. /r/depression has people and advice that may help you. Are you in the United States? I think if you google your area/state/county and depression you may be able to find a hotline or a service. Please talk to your doctor, they can help you or refer you to someone who can. Don't give up, you can get through this. You have no idea how truly strong you are.

Thank you! I thought about cosmetology before, but I don't have the patience for people to tell me what to do. lol! It is a lot of fun. There is something so gratifying when you see the blood go in the tube. I wouldn't have never thought to go into it, but I was lead to that path. It's funny how that happens, and the fact that I'm actually really good at it!

I have my phlebotomy certificate and used to be a vet tech and I LOVE drawing blood! Everyone thinks I'm weird but it's so nice seeing a big ol' vein and seeing the blood go into the tube. You are right, it's very satisfying!

I mean, how can you not look. I point out veins when I'm watching tv too. One of my good friends came in for me to practice on. All of the students, and the teacher, were staring at his arms. It was definitely vein porn.

man, you'd hate me, I remember I was taking blood on the hospital once and the girl taking the blood was kinda pissy that my vein was way too small for a guy, seems she was having problems doing the incision lol

Oh my gosh I didn't even think of having being told what to do! Thanks so much, because I know I would hate that!! I have a social anxiety disorder, so it's really hard finding a career I think I would enjoy doing. How is it like poking peeps with needles? Not sure if I would be to good at dealing with that.

I don't do well with people telling me what to do. Lol! Especially with having anxiety. At first, I was nervous sticking people.. I got over that real fast. It's very rewarding, and you don't have to say much to a patient... "Hey, I'm ____, I'm here to do a blood draw. Confirm your name and birthdate." Then you just stick 'em. Lol I like it. I was a server before my accident, and the thought of walking up to strangers makes me cringe.

You're welcome! I'm glad I could help. I wouldn't say that I had a fear of needles, but poking veins, it freaked me out at first. Now, I'm totally fine. I found a "fast route" school. I'll be certified in just 6 more weeks. It was long enough that I didn't feel rushed with material, and short enough that I wouldn't lose my focus.

I'm glad you are taking the right steps and moving forward! I am actually in my first week of Phlebotomy class and can't wait to be certified. I also have anxiety problems, which is part of the reason I chose Phlebotomy. I'm just hoping I can find a job being that I live in Ohio. :/ Good luck to you! You give me inspiration.

Thanks! And here are some more positive words: you described your Ex EXACTLY how mine was. I was with him almost a decade and it was so mentally straining. I cried just about every day during that time. I know the feeling of feeling more powerful each day that moves forward. I don't know how long it's been for you, (over two years for me) but you will find someone who will treat you right. And the greatest feeling will be that you will be able to appreciate that person so much more. I'm with a guy now that is my best friend, and we never even raise our voices to each other because we appreciate each other. Sorry for rambling. Just hope it helps. :)

Thank you for sharing that! That definitely helps! I'm so glad you found someone who treats you the way you deserve. I used to be worried about having a guy around, because I'm getting older. I wasted more time with guys who didn't deserve my time. This was the last straw. Now, I'm focused on me, and what will make me happy. I've learned to love myself because of this experience. I know that one day, the right person will come along. When that happens, I will be so full of love to share without depleting my own supply.

Thank you! Everyone that I've stuck, since I started training, hasn't felt the needle. My instructor used a special term for it, but that I'm naturally good at it.. Which surprises me because I have shaky hands. Lol

Fucking-A that must have been so traumatic! You are a true survivor. I'm sorry that happened to you, but also, right on for having just kept on trucking and still bettering your life in the face of such tragedy!

I have been giving blood a long time (psoriasis), please if someone says please take it from the back of my hand not my arms, listen to them, some phelobotomists feel its a challenge to get it out of my arms.

How have you been finding the training? I'm kinda considering training as a phlebotomist because I'm so used to have my own bloods drawn (chronic health conditions ftw) that the whole process of taking anothers doesn't feel terrifying. Plus blood is fascinating! And the people at my local pathology lab are awesome.

Where do you live? In the US, "giving blood" is generally used exclusively to mean donating blood. When you are intravenously accessed with a smaller gauge needle for medical testing, that is referred to as "having blood drawn." I'm not sure about the history of the distinction or whether other English-speaking countries use these terms similarly.

Bummer you can't donate. I used to donate, then fell seriously ill in my mid-20s and haven't been able to donate for about a decade now. My father was the recipient of a lot of blood products (factor VIII hemophilia, acquired) before passing, so it's something close to my heart.

I'm on neotigason, it's pretty good for my skin but I have to be off it for 3 years before I can have any children which is a bit annoying. Also have to have a blood test every six months to check for liver problems. Been on these for a long time now, still not used to the blood tests.

Yes, definitely! I tried to convince a phlebotomist that they weren't going to get it out of my arm and to just use my wrist, but they insisted on trying "the right way." 8 needle sticks later, they gave up and used my wrist. I was bruised for weeks.

Yeah they kept switching back and forth between my arms, trying to find a vein, just wiggling the needle around and pulling it in and out. I got very woozy after stick number 6 [they'd only filled half a...tiger tube, I think it was called? at that point, and they needed 8. I was getting a bunch of blood drawn for allergy tests] but when I spoke up and said I felt like I was going to faint/vomit, the phlebotomist told me that I was just afraid of needles. Uhhhh...no.

Anyway, glad that there are good phlebotomists like you joining the ranks! :D Keep up all the great work, you're doing awesome!

Ouch! That's making me cringe. I'm sorry you had that experience! In my class, we practiced on each other, and it was pretty painful when someone did it "wrong." I have a pretty good bruise on my arm from them digging around/going through the vein. You were close with the tube, it's considered a tiger top. :-)

I had 4 attempts on my arms last week. Needed to take 7 vials but ended up doing 8 as my veins just would not co-operate. It took 2 phlebotomists and the senior manager to get my bloods. >.> We nearly did used my hands. Probably would have hurt less in the long run too.

Yikes! There's a reason why we learn other techniques. I understand wanting to use the arm to get the blood, but at some point I feel it's cruelty. I would use the hand to alleviate that issue. Sorry you went through that, that's horrible.

I got into a horrifying car accident this year myself, so I understand the constant pain, loss of work, depression, and PTSD... I didn't experience the loss you did, and I had a lot of support... so just wow. You're amazing. I'm still feeling agoraphobic.

I'm having mixed emotions of hurting for you, being grateful, since clearly it could be worse, and feeling guilty for "being grateful" relative to your situation.

It's a horrible thing to go through. It took me 3 months to drive again. I feel for you too. I'm glad you survived. It means you have a lot more of life to live!! Don't feel guilty. I'm grateful to be alive too. The officer's and paramedic's on scene were surprised that I didn't die, and that I wasn't paralyzed. It was so scary. I have night terrors every once in awhile still. It's a constant struggle, every day, to overcome everything.. I, eventually, started focusing on the present... Not the past, or the future... Which is what has kept my anxiety in check, for the most part. I'm here for you, if you ever need to vent or talk about your accident.

Financial abuse is a form of mistreatment and fraud in which someone forcibly controls another person's money or other assets. It can involve, for instance, stealing cash, not allowing a victim to take part in any financial decisions or preventing a victim from having a job. The issue tends to occur most often in domestic relationships, such as between a husband and wife or an elderly parent and an adult child. People don't always recognize the problem, because an abuser purposely might select an isolated, vulnerable victim who is unlikely to realize what's happening or who will feel too ashamed to report it.

Controlling their victim's finances is something abusers do very often. It's all about controlling every aspect of a victim's life. My first relationship became abusive and one method he tried was to keep me from controlling my money. He often demanded my paycheck, but I had direct deposit set up. He also demanded access to my bank account-which I kept private. He even went crying to my mom that I was being stingy and wouldn't help him with money. Once he realized he had no way of getting to my money he tried getting me in trouble at work.

Abusers try to control their victim's by keeping them broke, insecure, scared, and secluded.

I need to be more straightforward about worrying about myself. Good for you for realizing that this is important. I don't think you can have a good relationship with yourself or anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first.

I lost a baby in 1996 (I'm a guy so most people would say my wife lost it but it was my child too, I think). It's hard. I don't think anyone knows that it still hurts me sometimes. But that's ok.

After some acute depression 10 years ago left me not wanting to work a regular job, i got into doing medical experiments 7 years ago. All the clinics I go are usually hiring phlebotomists. If you don't have something lined up already I can send you a link.

Did you get a suitable settlement? (being a lawyer is my expensive hobby now that I don't do it as a job.)

So happy for you to have found empowerment after tragedy. As you continue to strive towards your goals, more and more you'l be able to look behind you and see what you've gotten through as a means to find strength through whatever adversity you encounter.

You have more control over who you are than anyone or anything else in your life--don't forget it!

AB patients can receive blood from any other blood type as long as the Rh factor matches (pos/neg). However, AB blood can only be given to AB patients so it's not in demand as much because the donation could expire before it's used.

AB plasma on the other hand is much needed. You know how type O blood is the universal blood donor? Type AB plasma is the universal plasma donor. Anyone can receive AB plasma as long as the Rh factors match. So please donate plasma!

The blood collection centers actually filter out the leukocytes from all blood and plasma donations. They can cause transfusion reactions when the donor cells recognize the recipient as foreign and launch an immune response.

On rare occasions doctors will use leukocytes for patients who are very sick and immunocompromised. These blood products expire after 24 hours so they are only available on demand and not regularly stocked in blood banks.

I have AB positive blood but when I donated plasma, I fainted when the blood was coming back into my vein due to the blood thinners. It was not a pleasant experience and ended up taking almost 4 hrs. I had a scar from the needle for over 2 years. I'm scared to go back. Any suggestions on how to handle it better next time?

You're very inspirational. You've been through so much and yet you keep on fighting. I hope to be half the man as you are a woman someday. Seriously, you hang in there. You are so strong, you got this.

I just wanted to say that I was a phlebotomist for a short while and it can be a very rewarding career. But whatever happens, dont let the angry patients get you down. That doesn't seem to be much of an issue for you because you sound like a true fighter. Good on you for keeping such a healthy attitude, and I hope you find the medical field as rewarding as I have.

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, but I know about abusive partners and it will be the goddamn BEST thing you will ever have done. All the best for your life and never, ever let him get the better of you. He will hope and expect you to be a shell of a woman. But you won't be. Hold you're head high and keep doing you. And if you see him in the street? Keep that head higher than ever. And quite frankly, fuck him.

This is why I love this sub so much, on the surface it's about jokes but I love how much it celebrates womanhood and women going through tough times, and the success stories are so amazing. We celebrate solidarity with not changing your panties when you wear panty liners but also pulling through such tough times. You're amazing, keep doing you, girl.

When live give you shits, make a compose fertiliser and grow a sweet, little lemon tree and make lemonade during hot days.

I have been scared of my future. But your post make me feel encouraged and inspired, and I know whatever life gives me, I'd try to find the best way to deal with it. I hope you are in a better place now (from your own perspective) and keep rocking on. You've been through a lot and you deserve all the good things that is coming your way.

I absolutely love how much support, advice, well wishes, and love there is in this thread. OP, you're an incredibly strong and beautiful woman and I wish you all the best! Everyone else, keep doing what your doing because you're what makes this community one worth being a part of. Y'all are making me tear up at work. Thanks for that.

I'm so, so sorry that you lost your baby. I can't imagine that hell. I don't want to. I look at this picture and I see a STRONG woman. I see strength that most of us will never have to understand. It's unspoken. We know it's out there, and those of us that don't have it pray in the middle of the night that we never, ever need it. You have it. I'm sorry that you do, but you have it, and you've made it work for you. And that's awesome. You got up and kept on. I don't know you, but I'm so goddamn proud of you. Keep on being awesome. You've set the bar on kick ass. And right now in my book, you're holding the record.

Thank you! The year anniversary of my accident is in October. I'm very proud of my physical accomplishments; as well as my mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. I even lost 40 lbs after the break up to get back in my skinny jeans.

You are a kick ass woman and an inspiration. Your sweet baby girl could not be more proud of you, I'm sure of it. And I have no doubt she's sharing strength with you so you could kick that dirtbag to the curb and start healing and becoming happy!

Im very sorry to hear this happened to you and at the same time im so amazed by your strength (also reading your replies in these comments). Hopefully you will never forget that the world is yours, you should aim for the stars and never settle for less. Time will help with the anxiety, depression and ptsd. Just choose for yourself, the rest of the world will follow. You're an inspiration <3

Thank you so much! Oh man, you just made me cry.. That was so very sweet of you to say! I hope I can inspire people. That's my ultimate goal. It's funny that you said for me to aim for the stars, as my daughter's middle name was Starr. That touched me very deeply. :-)