“Did I vote?”—An Illinois man, after he died and was resuscitated at the polls on Election Day.

“That said, federal law still says marijuana is an illegal drug, so don’t break out the Cheetos or Goldfish too quickly.”—The Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper, after voters passed a referendum to legalize marijuana.

“I named the first twin Barack and the second one Mitt.” —Millicent Owuor, who gave birth in Kenya to two sons on Election Day.

“I have to say, I’m so extremely grateful and glad that, taking time out of his very busy schedule, the recently re-elected president of this country was able to make it.”—Daniel Day-Lewis, to an empty chair, as he accepted the Stanley Kubrick Britannia award.

“Let the president eat his hot dog.”—the Center for Consumer Freedom, after the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine petitioned Obama to stop eating junk food.

“Whether it’s people not actually physically going to the venues and consuming there, consuming in venues around the outlet before that, or indeed having NHL sort of parties at home, all of those occasions have disappeared off the map and you just can’t replicate them.”—The Molson Coors C.E.O. Peter Swinburn, on falling beer sales due to the N.H.L. lockout.

“It was not an intense, grand finale-type of display for eight minutes, but it certainly was a fast-paced show to cap off the evening, if it were necessary.”—Steve Pelkey, C.E.O. of Boston’s Atlas Professional Fireworks Displays, on the twenty-five thousand dollar fireworks display ordered but not used by the Romney campaign.