Is Pippa Middleton Going to Be Kate's Lady in Waiting?

With Kate and William's modern wedding and all, it may be easy to forget that Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, is set to become THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND! Insane. And with such a looming title ahead of her, comes, well, looming titles for other people. Like her sister, Pippa Middleton.

The world is still squeezing every last opulent drop of Royal Wedding juice out of the fruit that bore it (Wills and Kate). And because of this, we're bound to be left with a watery -- but delicious -- slushy of rumors and truths. Some are easy to verify. Did Kate just go grocery shopping? Yes. Did she look amazing doing so? Hell yes! Has she really never been to the U.S. before? Nope. And is Pippa, her younger sister, set to become her Lady in Waiting? Please, let's hope not!

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First of all, let's discuss what a Lady in Waiting is exactly. Typically, the title conjures images of a princess or a duchess soaking in a tub, while a LIW sponges her down. It is during this time that the princess often confesses that she feels totally alone both in her marriage and in the world. The Lady in Waiting is the princess's one true friend, the only person she can confide in. Am I the only sick person who thinks this? Yes? How embarrassing. Well, turns out I'm not that far off, so there. According to Slate:

The job certainly has evolved over the years. Many of the tasks that used to be allotted to ladies-in-waiting (helping her mistress dress, for example) have been assigned to other, paid members of the royal household. Today the ladies function more like social auxiliaries, helping the royal entertain dignitaries and manage her correspondence. Yet their true purpose has remained the same across the centuries: to provide appropriate companionship and wise counsel for a woman who can't exactly make friends by joining a book club and can't unwind with those friends over pints at a local pub.

Seems like it would be kind of awkward for both sisters. Pippa for being bossed around by her sister. Kate for having to rely on her sister for friends. All in all, a terribly bad idea.

Look, I know what it's like. Well, I don't know what it's like, but I have a sister. And I love her very much. Whenever we're together it's hours of laughing, passionate talks about clothes, and bike rides down the trail behind my dad's house. It's the best. We could hang out all day long -- as sisters. Not as "business partners." Especially where one business partner is the Queen of England.

So, Pippa or Kate, if either one of you are reading this, first of all, I love you. Second of all, if the rumors are true, don't become "royal business partners." It seems like it would only ruin your lovely relationship. And that would be tragic even for the Queen of England.