Manning: (over in the corner) Oooh, Randy Moss! Oooh, the Pats are the team to beat! Well, la di fucking da. Who fucking won the Super Bowl this year, you fucking cunts?

Travis Tritt: (drinks) Are you okay, Peyton?

Manning: I’m fine! Those mint juleps are too fucking sweet.

Travis Tritt: (drinks) Kid told me about what happened with Kenny. If you ever want to talk, I just wanted you to know that if you need someone to talk to. Or to do a duet withâ€¦

Manning: I appreciate that, George.

Travis Tritt: Travis.

Manning: Whatever.

Hopper: (corners Strait in a stable) So Coppola has this big fucking heart attack, and then it’s like fucking anarchy, man. These Cambodian fuckers take me to a shooting range, and they let me machine gun a cow for, like $10. You ever machine gun a cow on ether?

Strait: (terrified) Uh, no.

Hopper: It’s fucking great.

Meat Loaf:Objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they areâ€¦Objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they areâ€¦

Random Man In Crowd: Do “I Would Do Anything for Love,” asshole!!!

Meat Loaf: I won’t do that, you fuck.

Random Man In Crowd: You melodramatic fat shit.

Manning: I love this song, man. Objects in the rearview mirror really do appear closer than they are.

If George Strait were gay his name would be ironic. I bet that has never been noticed in the history of the world.

05.08.07 at 11:56 am

the butler

Gold.

I really must try machine-gunning a cow on ether.

05.08.07 at 11:57 am

Redhead

“I am more prepared than any of you for this party. I studied tape of Wisconsin students for the past two weeks.”

Well look at that, Peyton got something right. On Wisconsin!

05.08.07 at 12:01 pm

BeaverFever

You ever machine gun a cow on ether?

one of the greatest questions ever asked on this site.

i’m surprised gay quaterback isn’t one of the tags on this post.

05.08.07 at 12:06 pm

College Wolf

Hahahahahah that was hilarious.

For the record, I happen to love Meat Loaf. That man can croan.

05.08.07 at 12:17 pm

12-inch Idongivafuck Sandwich

That was awe-some…

05.08.07 at 12:40 pm

Casual T

Is the cow the one on ether?

05.08.07 at 12:41 pm

nation_of_islam_sportsblog

In 1989, I saw a Meatloaf concert in Allentown, PA.

He got on the stage and threatened the crowd. And challenged anyone to come up there and take on his 260 pound ass.

Some guy jumped on the stage. Ran up to him. And punched him in the face.

I have gone to every Meat Loaf concert (well, that I could go to since), and Meat Loaf never challenged the crowd to a fight again.

Pussy.

05.08.07 at 12:41 pm

janie

The Queen was at the Kentucky Derby too – is Peyton stalking her or something?

05.08.07 at 12:45 pm

janie

He really shouldn’t have issued a challenge like that in Allentown.

05.08.07 at 12:46 pm

nation_of_islam_sportsblog

Yea, those out of work steel mill guys don’t mess around.

05.08.07 at 12:52 pm

SlickBomb

Drew, I was crying to keep in the uproarious laughter. Masterful performance.

05.08.07 at 12:52 pm

devang

Travis: “So Peyton, why’d Kenny ditch ya?”

(Silence)

“Peyton….”

“Fuck you, I don’t want to talk about it!!!”

“C’mon man let it out. It’s all about heartache and pain for us country folks. You know the old classic, it’s better to have lost at love, then never to have loved at all.”

(sobs loudly)

One day (sob) me and Kenny were having a grand old time after a game and (sob) coach Dungy walked in on us. He roared a phrase from the bible and..and..(sobs), I can’t remember anything after that..

Puts hand on Peyton’s shoulder “try and let it out”

I found Kenny in a seedy Biloxi motel hanging with the words SODOMIZER carved into his chest.

Travis: “Stay the fuck away from me man!”

05.08.07 at 1:01 pm

BeaverFever

when was the last time kid rock put out a cd ?

05.08.07 at 1:14 pm

Smello

Apparently, Kid Rock moved on to Mr. Federline after he was done with Mr. Loaf — (from Page 6)

After DJ AM finished his set, Federline hi-jacked the microphone from Kid Rock. K-Fed gave “shout-outs” to hot girls in the crowd and screamed, “I got four kids already – which one of you Kentucky girls wants to have my fifth?”

There were no takers, and a spy said Kid started to “tool” on Federline, making fun of him.

05.08.07 at 1:15 pm

janie

Ha! +10 devang – nice.

@beaverfever – I think people may refuse to answer that on the grounds they may incriminate themselves.

05.08.07 at 1:18 pm

BeaverFever

@janie, good point , i never thought of that.

@smello, good call on story from today’s Page 6. talk about a white trash battle. at least kid rock has some talent.

05.08.07 at 1:18 pm

Jackin'4Beats

I think Dungy would have pulled a Jules Winnfield on Peyton and Kenny if he ever caught them backing that thang up on each other.

Ezekiel 25:17 works just fine for him.

05.08.07 at 1:19 pm

AustinBoston

Peyton Manning’s attorney would like you to refrain from spreading lies and slander about his client. These accusations are completely false. Mr. Manning only drinks Gatorade and other similar endorsed products as stated in his rehydration contract.

05.08.07 at 1:23 pm

Andrew

Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

05.08.07 at 1:29 pm

Clutch247

12-inch idongivafuck sandich-

Did Brady Quinn give you the green light to use his middle name?

05.08.07 at 1:48 pm

Wormfather

Yeah, that was real creative.

/sarcasm

Then again, I’m about as talented as a teaspoon.

Carry on.

05.08.07 at 2:00 pm

The Pirate Sloth

wow, that strangely sounds like my adventure last night,

05.08.07 at 3:35 pm

DportC

haha that was great…nice work

05.08.07 at 3:57 pm

John

Smoking causes emphasema…and heart attacks!

05.08.07 at 8:54 pm

Mike

+1 jackin’4beats

05.08.07 at 10:12 pm

The Casey Hurley Experiment

If you guys don’t post a link to the bear killing the moose in someone’s driveway in Alaska that’s on youtube by tomorrow, then… I mean, I guess I don’t really have an ultimatum.

05.08.07 at 11:59 pm

JAMMQ

Maybe Manning went to the Kentucky Derby hoping hoping to meet Prince Charles.