My Beginning Is Not My End​

Written By: Donna Fortenberry

As a high school sophomore I met with my guidance counselor to discuss a plan for early graduation. If I maintained a high grade point average and test out of the certain classes I could graduate a year early. From there I had my heart set on attending Howard University. I didn’t know anyone at Howard at the time. I just remembered hearing about the school on television shows like the Cosby Show and A Different World. At this point in my life I could count on one hand how many times I had traveled outside my home town of Milwaukee, WI. My guidance counselor assured me he would help me find grants and scholarships to cover tuition. I was so excited; however, I would never make it to Howard University. The summer of that year changed my life forever. I was 16, naïve, confused, broken, and pregnant. I fell hard for the first boy who would give me a title: girlfriend. We were two young kids engaging in adult activities with adult consequences. I could easily blame my situation on the lack of discussion on sex at home growing up and an absent father. Sure these things may have played a role but at the end of the day it was my decision to have sex before I was mentally, emotionally, or financially ready for what came with it. I returned to school in the fall with all the emotions of a teenage girl including a mountain of doubt and fear. There I was back in the guidance counselor’s office. This time the conversation was much different. If I could graduate at all he wanted me to consider taking a trade. Don’t get me wrong, trade school is an avenue to making a decent living but it was not my dream. It wasn’t a four year university. By the time I left his office I felt worthless. Life as I knew it was changing on all fronts. I could no longer sing in my church choir or participate in any of the usual youth activities. I was an unwed pregnant teen and could not be seen representing my church choir at the summer festivals. At a time when I needed spiritual guidance the most I felt alone and out casted.

My baby girl was born that winter. She was a cute little chocolate baby with deep dimples and thick curly hair. To this day I am still in awe of her beauty and amazed that something so awesome could come from me. I wasn’t sure I would bathe her or feed her right. What if I didn’t hear her cry in the middle of the night? As I started to settle into motherhood more change was coming. My relationship with her father ended. He was a teenage boy with his mind set on doing teenage things. Other girls were more appealing to him. Again the feeling of not being worthy of what I thought I deserved set in. By this time, college didn’t seem possible, I had no desire to go to church, and then there is teenage heartbreak. I can remember sitting on my bed in the dark in a complete fog. I was tired. Emotionally, I had hit rock bottom.Prayer changes things. For the first time I laid my heart out before God and gave him everything I could no longer carry. It was all just too much. Between each moment of prayer I cried until I could muster up the strength to pray some more. The next morning a weight had been lifted. My mother came into my room like she had done most mornings to get a look at her grand baby. She had to hear me crying the night before. She encouraged me to stay focused. Everything I wanted in life was still there to have but I had to stay focused and prayerful. I graduated from high school a year early as planned and enrolled in a local university. With support from my family I attended school while working fulltime. I earned an Associate’s Degree in Liberal Arts, followed by a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resources Management and lastly a Master’s Degree in Business Administration. In my 15 years of experience I have worked for 3 Fortune 500 organizations. My colleagues are Ivy League or division one college graduates. ​I was academically and professionally accomplished but God was not done. I was ready for companionship. After years of picking the wrong guy over and over again I gave up. I was tired of putting energy and time into relationships with no reciprocation. Again, I prayed. I asked God for someone perfect for me and he sent just that. At first I thought God was joking, but he had a plan. When I met my husband he was a few years out of engineering school and working for a leading global organization. He was cocky as ever and had no intention of stepping foot in a church. During the first few years of my marriage I watched God mold my husband into an awesome man of God. Together we joined an awesome, thriving church in the south suburbs of Chicago. Soon after, our youngest was born; another beautiful little girl with lots of energy! My husband is currently finishing his last year of seminary and he is a minister at our church. I keep pretty busy serving in the church as well. I am the director of our women’s ministry where I lead a team in developing programming for young women. I can’t take credit for where I am today. When I look back on it, which I often do, it is nothing short of a miracle. Alone I wasn’t strong enough to deal with what was in front of me. When I had nothing left I knew to pray. As I worked to build my relationship with Christ he kept showing me over and over again who he is what he can do. Every step, every valley experience was ordered by him. My cute little chocolate baby with deep dimples and thick curly hair is now a senior in college. My beginning is not my end. I am restored. I am renewed. The best is yet to come!

How I Met The Author

So far, my move to Chicago has led me to cross paths with some amazing people in many areas of my day to day life. My current job helped me to connect with the wonderful author of today's blog post, Donna Fortenberry. Everybody needs that somebody in their lives that will "tell the truth and shame the devil". Good or Bad, Donna will tell me like it is. God always knows what kind of people you need in your life and when. Over the last couple of years, she has pushed me to stretch myself spiritually, emotionally, and creatively. Her story has always amazed, inspired, and challenged me to think beyond myself and trust God to go after my wildest dreams. For all of you thinking about taking a leap of faith and daring to try something amazing, I will say to you what Donna always says to me... "Girl, I don't know what you're waiting for".