The Decline Of Prolonged Arguing Directly Related To Increase Of Smartphone Use

So, researchers at the University of Missouri did an experiment in which they separated a group of iPhone users from their iPhones, and then gave them some cognitive tests.

Essentially what they found was that when iPhone users and their iPhones were parted, they weren't as smart — the iPhone users, that is. The iPhones themselves remained just as imperious, and superior, and obnoxious as ever.

I should mention that I have an iPhone.

I should also mention that my iPhone and I do not get along, just so you know.

Another thing the Missouri researchers found is that "iPhones are capable of becoming an extension of ourselves such that when separated, we experience a lessening of 'self' and a negative physiological state."

Houston we have a problem.

I mean, if you get the shakes when disconnected from your iPhone, then you really need to think about getting some help, maybe joining the local chapter of Apple Addicts Anonymous.

But that's your problem, not mine.

My issues go beyond the iPhone to smartphones in general, which I hold responsible not only for the overall decline of prolonged arguing, but the demise of the really, really stupid stance as well.

Donald Duck wears pants.

Does not.

Does to.

Before smartphones reared their pointy heads, people were much more prone to engage in these types of disagreements and continue them over hours, days, lifetimes.

These disputes could be sustained because such supporting evidence as, say, facts could be pulled out of thin air (or other places) and then bolstered by a seemingly inexhaustible supply of hot air.

But then the smartphone introduced Mr. Smarty Pants, aka Google, into the conversation. And just like that, the duration of an argument lasted only as long as it took a pair of thumbs to dance with a keyboard.

Google, of course, is the know-it-all of know-it-alls. Google is like hanging around with Alex Trebek.

(I can't tell you how many arguments I have lost since Google got involved.)

Which brings me to the second problem I have with the smartphone. It makes it much more difficult to identify dopes.

One of the chief ways we have always identified dopes is based on the quality and quantity of the stuff they know. Now it is hard to tell the difference between the average Ph.D. and the corner slacker.