Drunkblogging Tonight's GOP Presidential Debate

5:49PM I remember George Stephanopoulos as the guy who was just too young to be working for the President. After almost twenty years, he's increased both in stature and in how much he looks like a Muppet.

5:50PM Good news: Fox News is hosting along with YouTube, so we'll get questions from people just like you and me, only on really interesting medications.

Bad news: The pre-show is O'Reilly.

5:52PM The pre-spin is: Bachmann will tear into Perry, Huntsman will tear into Romney.

It's like midget wrestling vs. the WWE.

5:54PM Tonight's drunkblogging beverage: Cheap whiskey.

How cheap? Don't ask. But there are a lot of debates this season, and sacrifices must be made.

PS I need an expense account. Hint, hint.

5:55PM Watching the ads: From a bridge to nowhere to a bridge to Canada... but I repeat myself.

5:57PM The reason I don't watch O'Reilly is, he makes me want to give up my libertarian principle that the government should never tax the bejeebus out of anyone.

6:00PM Let's get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble.

6:01PM Rick Perry waves like the Queen. So does Romney. So did Ron Paul... Bachmann...

6:01PM Santorum waves his hand like my five year old waves a tennis racket, only bigger.

6:02PM Ladies, take note of that previous post.

6:02PM Color codes map pins! I really am excited. Don't judge. me.

6:03PM Audio sync! Audio sync!

I shouldn't poke fun. You shoulda seen the early days of PJTV.

6:04PM Jobs question to Perry. Answer: Good governance. Plus a stumble early on. But that could be a sign of heavy prepping -- which he really needed. Stay tuned.

6:06PM Romney gets five points for first slam on Obama. Who gets the five point Reagan reference.

6:07PM Romney has a 59-point plan.

I need a drink.

6:08PM Romney: I want everyone in America to be rich enough to afford my stylist.

6:09PM To Bachmann: How much of each dollar should you keep?

Answer: I have no idea. My TV software is colorshifting like mad, and it's making my eyes swim. Hang on...

6:10PM YouTube Question to Santorum: How bright should I shine my lights directly into the camera?

6:11PM Santorum shifted the union question to the *public* union question. That's smart, especially for a guy from a manufacturing state like PA. And if he's lucky, his campaign might last as long as the PA primary.

6:11PM Newt: I have a very specific proposal.

6:13PM I don't know how Huntsman does it, but every time I wear a tie that color, small aircraft land on my driveway.

6:14PM There's a pool going at work, if this will be Huntsman's last big debate. I've got the under at $5. Any takers?

6:15PM Huntsman: I have an even more specific proposal.

6:15PM To Cain: Won't three Nines become Three 27s or something?

6:15PM Cain: I would like to answer another question, which I'll do now.

6:16PM What's the over/under for Cain? I think he'll last longer than Huntsman, if only because he's *much* better TV.

6:17PM Romney: I will help the middle class, with my plan that has even more nines than Herman Cain's. Seven nines!

6:17PM YouTube Question to Paul: How will you restore the 10th Amendment?

6:18PM Ron Paul: Would veto every single bill that violate the 10th Amendment. That was his whole answer! Also, he's gonna need a bigger pen.

6:19PM If Paul were to be elected President, I would hope for two things:

1. He rethink his foreign policy.

2. He get a suit that fits.

6:20PM Gary Johnson: Will veto any unbalanced budget. And I have a bigger veto pen than Ron Paul. It's the Ron Jeremy of veto pens.

6:20PM I heart Johnson for getting in the Fair Tax plug.

6:21PM Immigration is coming up after the break, or as most of the candidates call it: Perry-bashing time.

6:25PM After the Fox/YouTube debate, I eagerly await the MSNBC/MySpace debate.

6:26PM Not one Reagan reference before the first break. I'm out a sawbuck.

6:26PM Question to Perry: You're nuts on Social Security, right?

6:27PM Perry just went for blood on Romney.

But I'm not sure he's drawing any blood here. It's a long answer on a tough topic -- and I can't make much sense out of it.

6:28PM Romney: That's not what you said in your book, Gov. Perry.

Perry's eyebrows are moving across his forehead like over-caffeinated spider monkeys.