On fun-sized advice

If I wait, will the men I know grow up and stop balking at my expectations for (reciprocated) favors, support and emotional closeness in serious relationships and friendships, or am I the overbearing brat with codependent expectations that they act like I am?
The waiting is what makes you codependent. Don’t wait. If the men in your life aren’t meeting your (reasonable) expectations, find other men.

I have a fetish that’s hampered my sexual performance and made it difficult for me to form close relationships. How do I share it with someone without feeling like I’m forcing them to tolerate it?
Have you considered getting treatment for fetishistic disorder? Maybe some desensitization therapy? At the very least, you can work through those feelings and learn how to talk about it.

I’ve been working the same boring bank job for the past 3 years. In 6 months, I’ll have saved up around 30k. I think I’m going to quit, travel, then come back and do my MBA. Is that a bad idea?
Sounds great, as long as you have a specific reason to get an MBA. If you do, go ahead and lock in your MBA program before you plan your travel.

Thanks for keeping me current, keeping me honest with myself. I’m well on my way to telling people I’m gay. This year I plan to be more transparent. Hold me to that.
Okay. (You’ll get there.)

I’m going to kill myself. I see no reason not to.
There are plenty of reasons not to kill yourself. You’re just not in a place where you can see them. I know it’s asking a lot, but if you could do me a huge favor and hang around for a while, maybe we could get you some help.

Standard

Post navigation

7 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice”

Nerdlingersays:

Waiting Person, it’s true that dudes in general are less trained in the ways of emotional reciprocity and thinking about the social details, but it’s handier to look at it on a social circle/community level. It could be you’re in a circle in which folks are comfortable with traditional gender roles, or one in which dudes are allowed to get away with this type of shit. It’s easier to find a subculture/community that does suit your ideas of balance in a relationship than trying to flip the system(that comes later).

Y’know, I keep seeing that complaint around here, that all the dudes they know are abnormally narcissistic or emotionally stunted. I don’t know their situations, so I don’t comment. But I’m always thinking to myself that they really ought to find a better circle of friends (and maybe take off the rose-tinted goggles they put on for their lady-friends).

To the suicidal person: Coquette said it herself sometime ago, you will never feel relief from this pain in death, you can only feel relief while living. I was you half my life ago. Had I succeeded I would not have met the love of my life (my platonic best friend), I wouldn’t have met nieces and nephews, travelled, experienced highs and loves I could never have imagined. I would feel more pain, yes, but also sweet expanses of relief, again and again. You have been blessed with the lottery of experiencing this universe. Live, please.