Another devastating win for Australia, but not quite as devastating a performance as that to which we've become accustomed. Their bowling was tight enough but not menacing - England miscalculated the number of runs they'd need and couldn't find the gaps and the fence in the first powerplay, or weren't inclined to try. They also lost Bell and Morgan when set, perhaps had their better batsmen coming in too late - in that connection, I'm not sure we'll be seeing Joe Root again this tour - and leaving out a spinner but picking Rankin is not necessarily what you'd classify as fathomable. As for Australia, Finch and Warner batted superbly, and that's about it.

45th over: Australia 266-4 (Bailey 16, Maxwell 6) Target 270

Australia could've ended this so very long ago, but why not put a few more overs into the bowlers? There is no reason why not. A few more overs have been put into the bowlers. Stokes is doing the ballsy thing, trying out cutters and back-of-the-hand deliveries, and then when Maxwell bunts him for a single, he goes to fetch the ball and finds himself in a friendly scuffle with Bailey trying to get down the other end. Everyone laughs. Oh what larks, dear old Pip, dear old chap.

44th over: Australia 257-4 (Bailey 9, Maxwell 4) Target 270

Nothing in particular happens, and as such, here's Neville Tivendale, in defence of George Bailey: "'Here's Bailey to pass off the achievements of others as his own once more.' From the nation that gave Paul Collingwood an MBE for 17 runs. Please."

43rd over: Australia 252-4 (Bailey 7, Maxwell 1) Target 270

In the commentary box they're talking about golf, which tells you all you need to know. In the middle, Stokes comes back for Jordan, who's done; he's bowled better than figures of 1-50 suggest. And he then endures more discomfort, after diving for the ball and landing on it with his thigh.

41st over: Australia 245-3 (Clarke 43, Bailey 3) Target 270

Jordan shows Bailey a sharp bouncer, Bailey grinning like he had it in hand, like he's had everything in hand all series. I want to get the plane home from Australia and I'm not even there.

And at his home, Alfred Moore is back: "You're right, Clarke doesn't like not being involved in selection. And you're right that whoever is captain would like to have as much power as possible. But maybe we should focus less on what the captain would like and more on what might be good for him. It might be better for the captain and the team that the captain doesn't have the power to pick a team in his own image. As Vaughan has pointed out, that can privilege team uniformity over team quality, and good players can be excluded for not being 'good in the dressing room'. If Cook was just given a team, his job would be hard but simple: Make it work!"

Yep, it's true that uniformity is a bad thing, but ideally you'd trust the captain to appreciate this. Why would you necessarily trust Paul Downton to pick the team? I'd err on making the captain feel comfortable, and have someone in his ear telling him different stuff to the stuff he's already thinking and hearing.

40th over: Australia 241-3 (Clarke 42, Bailey 0) Target 270

WHATEVER! Finch c Ballance b Stokes 121 (Australia 237-3)

After pulling another four to midwicket, Finch slices a drive as his bottom hand slides off the handle and Ballance takes a difficult catch, diving low on the point boundary. He always gets his man in the end, or something.

40th over: Australia 237-2 (Finch 121, Clarke 38) Target 270

"Joe Root scored three off 23, which has exercised Martin Hamilton. "On the subject of Joe Root not being able to score quickly, look at this match when England were chasing 270. Root scored 79 off 56 deliveries. That's what he can do when in form. Please come back Joe Root!"

That Root can play isn't in doubt - but his ability to score off good bowling is.

39th over: Australia 233-2 (Finch 117, Clarke 38) Target 270

Only another almost-month of this to go. Just to change things up, just so we don't get bored, just go keep us guessing, just to titillate our titter, Jordan inserts a couple of wides. But then he induces Finch to edge after banging one in shorter, Buttler diving across when it might have reached slip. You can guess the rest, but we owe it to ourselves to enunciate, enumerate and assert our suffering . He misses, and the ball skids away for four.

38th over: Australia 226-2 (Finch 116, Clarke 34) Target 270

With Stokes back on, Clarke arranges three off the first ball, and then Finch steps down to the second, making room to larrup a drive over mid-off. Shot. Australia have just made every aspect of this game look so easy; I'm not quite sure what, if anything, England have done.

37th over: Australia 218-2 (Finch 111, Clarke 31) Target 270

Jordan is back, and, after taking two to his first ball, Finch checks and miscues a lofted straight drive. Of course, nothing happens.

But Alfred Moore has an idea: "I know the 5-0 crushing has prompted a huge debate about whether or not to drop the team's best batsman, but I want to put something else on the agenda. Where better to do it that the OBO?Here's my suggestion: Take the captain out of the selection process.

Pros:It's one less thing for the captain to worry about. He can focus on making the best of the players he's given, even if he doesn't personally like them. We would know who to blame for selection. It's less likely that the team would become a clique of like-minded yes-men. It works for Australia.Cons:None.

Also, Morgan should be that captain.

I don't know - Michael Clarke made it clear he doesn't like not being a selector, and I think Cook, or whoever captains, needs to take control, not cede it. And is Cook the team's best batsman? I'd say not: he's been hopelessly out of nick for two series, now.

36th over: Australia 214-2 (Finch 108, Clarke 30) Target 270

Rankin back into the attack as the powerplay is taken. I'm wincing, cringing and convulsing already, and he begins with a tester that's short, wide and slow. Clarke administers to it, driving to the point boundary with exceptional ease. The fourth ball is short too, and helpfully banged in to arrive at the middle of Finch's bat as he steps, before carting over midwicket for four more.

35th over: Australia 204-2 (Finch 103, Clarke 25) Target 270

"It always seems to have freakish weather," says Ian Terrence of the Australian Open tennis fortnight, pursuing our riff of tautology. Bopara, meanwhile, produces four dots - I'm not sure anyone else has mustered that this innings, and certainly don't recall a maiden. Though I'm not sure Australia contrived any of those either.

34th over: Australia 201-2 (Finch 103, Clarke 22) Target 270

Bresnan saves his four-ball for his second delivery this time, short, sitting up, and dispatched past mid-on. Meanwhile, at the Waca, Australia's women - chasing 185 to beat England - have collapsed from 40-1 to 57-5. "Reports of the crowd singing 'are you England (men) in disguise'?", wonders Alex Malthus.

33rd over: Australia 191-2 (Finch 101, Clarke 14) Target 270

Bopara begins with a fuller one that somehow spirits between Clarke's bat and pad, before a single brings Finch on strike. And he quickly turns one to leg - someone show Joe Root how to do that - and it's a century. It's always slightly odd to hear the phrase "excellent ton" and the like - it's tautological, really - but this has been excellent compared to others of ilk, too. Garrance Ballance will be shifting uncomfortably in his jock strap, and, somewhere in the pavilion, Michael Carberry might too.

32nd over: Australia 187-2 (Finch 99, Clarke 12) Target 270

Clarke melts Bresnan's first ball down the ground for four, before a single brings Finch on strike. He cuts to backward point and calls Clarke through for a quick two, but can't find the single he needs for his century.

30th over: Australia 171-2 (Finch 89, Clarke 7) Target 270

Bresnan sends down a loosener and Clarke loosens his arms, driving on the up through cover for four. There follows a confident lbw appeal. It's not given because it's not out.

"Here's a pic I just took in central Helsinki," chirps Sarah Torvalds. "Not quite cricket weather yet, but we'll get there..."

If only you could teleport it to Australia. Talking of which, is teleporting worth the trouble? Parents, wives, children and ilk turning up at inopportune moments, but, on the other hand, no public transport.

I'm going to have to restart my browser - apologies if there follows a slight delay.

29th over: Australia 166-2 (Finch 89, Clarke 1) Target 270

IT'S ON! WICKET! Watson b Jordan 0 (Australia 165-2)

This is a lovely delivery, full, fast, and nipping back. Watson gets nowhere near it and is hutchward bound, his off-stump clumped hard. Jordan has done well today - his pace is good, he's found some movement too, and he clearly fancies the fight.

29th over: Australia 165-1 (Finch 89, Watson 0) Target 270

Jordan back into the attack...

Peete Stewart is here: "If these players play too much cricket (which I doubt - - it's their job, how many games have Anderson, Broad, Pietersen and Prior actually played over the last 12 months - for which they are handsomely paid?) - then maybe a new policy of resting players after each match they play should be brought in - so, how many players in a cricket year would be needed to adopt this policy? 'Bout time we dispensed with the luxurious Central Contracts and got these guys playing regular cricket with their counties - the everyone has a chance to play for England rather than the 'select few in the England Boys Club mafia!"

There are are so many contortions the body and mind can tolerate without performance dropping, regardless of remuneration. Also, I doubt many players of genuine Test class miss out because of the central contracts thing - perhaps they could've got Trott in earlier, but otherwise?

28th over: Australia 164-1 (Finch 88, Watson 0) Target 270

WICKET! REALLY! Warner c Stokes b Root 65 (Australia 163-1)

Warner loses patience with Root and takes a straight swing at him, landing only a glancing blow. The ball goes high, and Stokes, coming in off the long-on boundary, judges it well. The absence of any joy whatsoever is yet another aggressive sting.

27th over: Australia 158-0 (Finch 85, Warner 64) Target 270

Stokes is back on, and after a bunt from each batsman, Warner pulls hard, behind square for four. This chase is more of a lollop really and perhaps the easiest thing that has ever been done - if Norris McWhirter were still alive, he'd be on it with a tape measure.

"Dear tour itinerary planners," starts Richard Woods. "The one day and 20/20 series should come before the Test Matches in the schedules, to avoid the 'after the Lord Mayor's show' scenario we have in front of us at the moment. Please sort this out in future."

Has anyone ever been to a Lord Mayor's Show? Are they any good? What happens, closing of fire stations, lack of care for the weak and poor and that kind of jazz? In 2005, that stuff happened first, and it worked well, like a good support act - diverting and exciting but never threatening to outdo the main e-vent.

26th over: Australia 149-0 (Finch 78, Warner 57) Target 270

And it's Joe Root! He's gently coaxed for five with minimum effort and maximum understatement. The PA plays "I Just Can't Get Enough". Not sure the England players concur - they've gorged on plenty.

Back to the joy of haitch, here's John Starbuck: "Some people use 'haitch' for the same reason they might say 'an orange' instead of 'a no range' which used to be correct. They over-compensate because it feels wrong to them to do otherwise. This can also apply to batting and bowling."

24th over: Australia 139-0 (Finch 74, Warner 56) Target 270

Ho x Hum = HoHum.

Here's Lanky and he - or she - is unhappy. "This is awful. Why are Broad and Anderson 'rested' whilst Pietersen has 'disappeared' and Prior has 'dissolved' into the ether? Is this England's way of dealing with players? Where is the leadership of England? Why is Cook still captain? It is still awful."

Yep, unsurprisingly, nothing has changed in the time it takes to send an email. Resting Pietersen and Broad is fine, in mine - they play a lot, and this doesn't count for as much as the stuff for which they've been required and will be required. I sort of agree re Prior, but his absence isn't the reason for this mess, and he's hardly in nick. But yes, it is awful. It is still awful.

23rd over: Australia 135-0 (Finch 73, Warner 55) Target 270

Australia fancy getting out of here, Finch cutting two over point and then sending one hurtling to the boundary through cover. England want to change the ball; that'll sort it, not the timid batting, lack of a fifth bowler (ok, and first and second and third and fourth), or any of the rest of it. Yes, change the ball. Australia should let them.

22nd over: Australia 128-0 (Finch 66, Warner 55) Target 270

Warner nudges himself to a half-century and doesn't even look that chuffed; he probably isn't - well, not by this specifically, he is of course immensely chuffed in a general sense - which tells you plenty. Then after a two and some blocks, ends the over with a pull, creamed to midwicket for four.

Meanwhile, Tant Barlow has catch-heat: "I am sorry but it's daft. There is no way Warner would have walked had he not thought it was out. And he had the best view. And he even asked Buttler for confirmation. The person with the next best view of it. Bonkers."

I'm not sure Buttler had a good view of it, though he might argue that he knew. Warner didn't know for sure, because he asked Buttler, so it's not unreasonable to check the tape. The umpires might have misread the evidence, but that's something else.

20th over: Australia 116-0 (Finch 63, Warner 46) Target 270

Rankin is back, and Blewett and David Ivon gently savage him for his drop in pace and nerves at Sydney, particularly given his age. His over is that Ollie from Celebrity Big Brother, tidy but tediously unthreatening - until its final delivery, stroked over his head by Warner for four.

18th over: Australia 106-0 (Finch 60, Warner 39) Target 270

Oh, this is lovely. Warner turns Stokes away to long leg, Bresnan motoring around the rope to slide - past the ball, but not so much so that he can't position his hands to field. He positions his hands to field, but they're past the ball too, and it rushes through the gate between them and his body. This is enjoyed by the crowd.

17th over: Australia 98-0 (Finch 59, Warner 32) Target 270

Ashley Giles is sat like a yout in anorak, cap and tracky bums, shaking his legs; he needs to show his bowlers how to bowl variations: the one that doesn't turn, and the one that goes straight on. Bopara comes on and is milked, a contextual panacea.

Alex Malthus is sure that Warner was out. "That was a poor one by the umpire," he says. " It's obviously pointless to argue over these things, but nevertheless. Usually on the replay those tight catches look to have bounced (foreshortening, the depression of your fingers when they squeeze under the ball), this one didn't even look like it did bounce, that's how out it was."

I've not had a lot of sleep, granted, but I saw that differently. How many Test wickets did you get?

16th over: Australia 93-0 (Finch 57, Warner 29) Target 270

More moseying, Jordan amusing the crowd with a minor misfield mustered by way of curious collapse that cedes a superbly run single. And that's drinks. Again, England either need or are chalishing for theirs to come from the top shelf, perhaps both.

15th over: Australia 88-0 (Finch 56, Warner 25) Target 270

This very bizarre. Everyone in the commentary team thinks Warner was out, apart from the umpires, and er me. And if you've played the game to Test level like we have, then you feel a certain confidence in your judgement, foreshortening or not. Anyway, we'll say no more about it. Bresnan barrels in, not much happens apart from easy achievement of more than is demanded by the run-rate - and England haven't yet tried their fifth bowler, Roopara.

14th over: Australia 82-0 (Finch 53, Warner 22) Target 270

NO WICKET!

The umpires reckon that Buttler took the catch off the ground and Warner jogs back, glee seeping out of every pore and through the screen, drenching my keyboard. Bah, grrr, pffft and other sounds of anger righting itself as resignation.

WICKET! Warner c Buttler b Stokes 22 (Australia 82-1)

Stokes bangs one in and Warner sways to back-cut - but edges to Buttler, who leans hard left and forwards, apparently slotting fingers under ball. Warner asks Buttler if he caught it and departs, but the umpires ask for a replay. To me, it seems like he's taken it one bounce, but Botham is sure and Knight says that he is, presumably for an easy life.

13th over: Australia 76-0 (Finch 49, Warner 20) Target 270

Australia are displaying a composed competence that is faintly alarming; this just isn't a contest, or anything approximating to the same. The way this is going, England should simply be thankful that they won the toss and batted, because otherwise, they'd face the ignominy of a mighty score and a defeat even more damning than the very many wickets by which they're going to demoralisingly lose this one.

12th over: Australia 72-0 (Finch 47, Warner 17) Target 270

Ben Stokes rides into the attack on a palomino, sorting the debt crisis and world peace on the way. Nothing really happens, except Jordan throwing down the stumps following a comfy single and ceding an overthrow. Which is a nice thought, actually; can someone overthrow the existence of cricket, please? Thanks.

11th over: Australia 68-0 (Finch 44, Warner 17) Target 270

10th over: Australia 64-0 (Finch 41, Warner 16) Target 270

England badly need something, anything. Jordan bowls three dots, the Warner develops boredom and lofts a clip that drops just short of the scrambling and diving Ballance at wide mid-on. Jordan does looks like he's got something, though, and it's not the name Jade nor a sleeve tattoo. But he's soon suffering harder, Warner smoking his final delivery for a boundary-six straight down the ground. At this point, England were 28-2.

9th over: Australia 56-0 (Finch 41, Warner 10) Target 270

It's not taken long for Alastair Cook's captain to be challenged to locate funk; here we are. On comes Bresnan, slammed away by Finch for four and then three off balls two and three, the four by way of straight drive, the three by way of lofted drive over cover. Is it consoling that David Warner no longer looks like Colonel Mustard?

8th over: Australia 48-0 (Finch 34, Warner 9) Target 270

Ian Terrence - who always stays on any tour until the bitter end, when half of the first team have gone home after the Tests - is not happy. In particular, he's exercised by England's negativity in the opening ten overs, which is being shown up hard, here and now. From the final ball of the over, Warner spanks a drive that Jordan attempts to catch with an extended left arm splayed out of his follow-through - but the ball refused to stick. It was a little like a catch Murphy Su'a actually took in England god knows how long ago, but sadly YouTube is silent on the subject. Pathetic.

7th over: Australia 46-0 (Finch 34, Warner 7) Target 270

Manical rueful laughter. First, a three, following a hard jab from Warner, boundary saved only by Bresnan's valiant chase - and then Finch fends a good ball off his hip, for the ball to drop just short of a frantically scurrying Stokes. It's not over either, Finch massmurdering a boundary when Rankin invites him so to do by straying to middle-and-leg.

6th over: Australia 35-0 (Finch 26, Warner 4) Target 270

Immediately prior to the review, Bell moved from second slip to short midwicket - and, well, you can probably guess what came next. Finch then edged to the vacated area and there followed consternation and anguish captured in a cry from Rankin.

REVIEW!

5th over: Australia 27-0 (Finch 28, Warner 4) Target 270

Chauette!, as Tricolore would say. Rankin bowls on Finch's legs, so is turned for four to fine leg. Rankin corrects and bowls wide of off-stump, so is back cut to third man. Already, England need a wicket.

Meanwhile, Quentin Seik emails in:

"I agree that Morgan can count himself unlucky not to have been given another shot in the side but where would he slot into the batting lineup?Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself but I think I've seen enough in Gary Ballance to suggest he's an ideal replacement for Trott at 3 in the test side. Assuming Stokes and one of Prior, Buttler & Bairstow will be at 6 and 7 with a spinner and 3 bowlers this doesn't leave an obvious place for Morgan.Perhaps it's a bit radical but opening with Cook to give the innings a flying start ala David Warner?!"

Ballance definitely seems to have the mentality - but whether he's the ability remains to be seen. I'd be tempted to see if he can open - I suppose the question is whether Root is sent back to county cricket to sort himself a few nurdles, or allowed to learn against Sri Lanka.

4th over: Australia 18-0 (Finch 11, Warner 4) Target 270

Dearie world, the "dress-up deck". What possesses an actual person to attend the cricket in fancy dress? Why not go disguised as a normal person, like everyone else? Jordan's second ball is too full and on the pads, duly whip-caned for four, and then, from a floatier deliver, Finch drives uppishly, right into the hands of Ballance, moving in to his right from widish mid-off. He lets it through them, obviously, and the camera picks out Alastair Cook, who looks like he needs a lie down - perhaps on couch rather than bed.

2nd over: Australia 7-0 (Finch 4, Warner 0) Target 270

Well, he begins his run with that kind of curious leaning skip thing, and his first delivery is of decent lick, moving in the air - but it's the kind regularly bowled to lefties in club cricket, wide of the pads and signalled wide. Then another. He moves around the wicket, and there follows a leg-bye, then back over for Finch and a better line. A promising over, in its way - pace up to 89 empeehaitch by the end.

Why do people say haitch? Haitchers, please contact the OBO urgently. OPf course, it's worse when used in combination with something else - haitch are, or vee haitch ess, say - than just "can I have a haitch please, Bob". My mum would underline the letter aitch if someone applied for a job and outed themselves as a haitcher. Protecting the British empire, that.

1st over: Australia 4-0 (Finch 4, Warner 0) Target 270

Rankin, bowling to two slips, immediately extracts lift and movement off the seam - and of sensible proportions, around the thigh area and forcing Finch to hop aside,. But his second ball is wider, and cut hard for two, then two more follow off the fifth delivery, punched through mid-on.

The players are out. There is music, to make sure everyone has noticed. Who doesn't like both music and noticing?

As an Aussie I would hate to see Morgan come good in test cricket. As a cricket lover I would love to see Morgan come good in test cricket. For my money he plays a compelling style of cricket with verve and invention. He moves things along and scores at a lively pace His technique seems sound, especially since he has eliminated the crouchy thing that seemed to get him in so much trouble. As a bonus he seems to be well liked by his team mates and respected by the opposition. Whether he could flourish under what seems to be an oppressive Flower regime seems doubtful to me but under new management I think he would be a breath of fresh air in a jaded and badly wounded team.

Ian Jones likes Moragan anaw: "As an Aussie I would hate to see Morgan come good in test cricket. As a cricket lover I would love to see Morgan come good in test cricket. For my money he plays a compelling style of cricket with verve and invention. He moves things along and scores at a lively pace His technique seems sound, especially since he has eliminated the crouchy thing that seemed to get him in so much trouble. As a bonus he seems to be well liked by his team mates and respected by the opposition. Whether he could flourish under what seems to be an oppressive Flower regime seems doubtful to me but under new management I think he would be a breath of fresh air in a jaded and badly wounded team."

He's also possessed of requisite testicles and scrotum, which is going to be required too. When yatorqueahboot how many chances Bopara's had - not that his talent hasn't deserved them, despite the frustration - it seems reasonable that Morgan get another.

And here's Ben Heywood: "Given that he buggered off mid-series having taken about 6 wickets for 80-odd and scored about 15 runs, I'd have had Vaughan in for Graeme Swann. Vaughan could still turn over some passable, unthreatening, non-spinning off-breaks and he might have bothered to stick around for five tests as well..."

The more I think about this Swann thing, the less antagonised I feel. He must have known beforehand that he'd be targeted and that he wasn't quite up to it - but still had a shy - and then, when it happened, likewise the stick he'd get for skiving early. I've forgiven him, for other stuff, less so.

"I could not agree more" begins Andy Severance - enough to put anyone on their guard - "on Eoin Morgan deserving a second chance. I think people forget he was coming off a shoulder surgery during that horror series in the UAE against Pakistan. It seemed pretty ridiculous he would be the one to get dropped when the entire team batted poorly. Him and Graham Onions are surely two of England's best 11 cricketers and Flower needs to get them back in the team."

I think the thing with him was that his technique looked so iffy - it's not easy to bat properly from the hover position. Hell, it's not even easy to pass water. But he's a talent, and if Trott doesn't return, I'd stick Bell at three and him at six, I think.

A (not an) hypothesis: England would've done better in the Tests if they'd picked Michael Vaughan instead of Michael Carberry. No need for him to bat or owt, but his nous would've been worth more than Carberry's runs.

The good thing about constant disappointment is that it kills disappointment. So the fact that England were properly placed twice in their innings, when Bell was in, and when Morgan was in, before mustering round about par - is fine. And for that we can only thank them. Well done, chaps, we owe you several. Cheers. Played. Bravo. Skills. Reespe-c. Canny. Bonzer. Badass. Bazzing. Reme. Remo. Class. Quality. Beauty. Nicely.

On the other hand, Greg Blewett reckons this score is ok, the recent efforts here say the same, and the outfield is slower than usual. Maybe, just maybe. But then you contemplate England's attack of chub, trundle, fiddle and novice, Australia's absurd confidence, and feel like you know: 43 overs or so, done and done, never in doubt, no illusory hope or anything of the sort. Ah, the painless beauty of disappointment. Thanks, England.

Who wants a trip to Finland?

Good news for OBO fans of cricket tours: you're all invited by Sara Torvalds to play in Finland.

"I'm happy to see England hasn't folded for 150, but I'm even happier to tell you that the OBOccasionals are going to tour Finland come summer! We don't yet know exactly when (though it won't be until the snow has melted), but a couple of the people who so successfully toured Estonia last year (see Tangle in Tallinn) have already given me and the rest of Ekenäs CC their firm commitment that they are up for another once-in-a-lifetime experience! We are naturally hoping to see some new faces as well, so take this e as a general invite to OBOers of various skill."

With that, I must away ere break of day to find my long forgotten gold. In my place is Daniel Harris, so please email him from here on - daniel.harris.casual@theguardian.com - in case I don't make it back. Hie!

Medium, moderate, average

That's how I'd describe Australia's bowling. Solid enough, but McKay's 3/44 from 10 was the only really top effort. Coulter-Nile took 1/51 and Faulkner 1/68 of those who bowled their full allotment. Doherty's 1/29 and Maxwell's 1/40 helped hold the middle of the innings together. Watson's 0/36 from five overs looked laboured. The batting will have their work cut out - let's see if England's no-spin policy is inspired or insane.

Target acquired

So England have set that 270 target we talked about, and that's about a par score on this ground. There were plenty of contributions, though none of the huge scores or huge strike rates that would have helped England to a more imposing total. Still, if they bowl well, that could prove more than enough. Bell made 41, Morgan 50, Buttler 34, and Gary Ballance was the best on the day, in just his second ODI, with 79 to anchor the innings. The problems for England are at the top of the order, where Alastair Cook and Joe Root look just as vulnerable and unsure as they did during the Test series.

50th over: England 269-7 (Buttler 34 Bresnan 16)

End game. Coulter-Nile to bowl. A dot, then a single to Bresnan - good start for NCN. Clarke talking to him at the top of the bowler's mark, now Clarke is going out to deep midwicket... but not quite deep enough, and Buttler smacks a flat pull shot over Clarke's head and onto the rope on the full. He should have been on the rope and it would have been an easy take. They're back for two more after Buttler plays behind square. Bresnan tears back to the danger end for two more as Buttler pulls to mid on. The final ball is a slight inside edge from Buttler, along the ground to Haddin, who decides not to throw at the stumps.

49th over: England 257-7 (Buttler 23 Bresnan 15)

Nice fielding at midwicket from Maxwell keeps a Buttler smash to two. He follows with a single, edged into his pad, onto the on side. Bresnan drags a single from the inside edge. Buttler gets a yorker away to fine leg. Then Bresnan finally says, "Enough of that!" and clobbers one over square leg for six. Faulkner's match finishes with 1/68 when Bres takes a single off his last ball.

48th over: England 245-7 (Buttler 19 Bresnan 7)

Nathan Coulter-Nile continuing. That was nice work from Buttler, first with a pull for two, then another ramp for two more. Doherty did beautifully to keep it in from fine leg, haring around the boundary to knock the bouncing ball back before he himself went over the rope, then returning to seize it and throw the stumps down from the boundary. Next ball Buttler is backing well away and then missing as he made the ball too wide for himself. He gets one to midwicket, then the hulking frame of Bresnan smashes one down through long on.

47th over: England 236-7 (Buttler 14 Bresnan 3)

England still working the runs alright: Buttler pinches one to cover, Bresnan gets two to square leg, then one to third man, Buttler another two through square then one to mid on. 7 runs from it. They need some big overs here, England. Tough from this position.

46th over: England 229-7 (Buttler 10 Bresnan 0)

There was a single from the dropped catch, a single from Buttler, a clout to the leg side for four, then Ballance drove to third man. Buttler can't score after crossing, hit to mid on, then gets a single from the last ball.

McKay finishes with 3/44 from his ten overs, a great performance from him after some pressure was placed on him to hold his place in the side. He'll be there for the next few matches now, you'd think.

DROPPED!

Should have had Ballance there, McKay loses a third wicket, as Doherty ran in from deep third man and spilled the catch diving forward. He should have made better ground and got that one, it wasn't a hugely tough chance, and Ballance could make them pay.

45th over: England 222-6 (Ballance 74 Buttler 8)

A single to each batsman, two dot balls, but then Faulkner drops short and the chubby-faced Ballance makes his chipmunk noise and pillages an acorn over midwicket. NCN nearly saved it but even he couldn't quite motor there in time. Now another single, then Buttler pulls out the lap-ramp shot and gets four through fine leg. Big over, 11 from it.

43rd over: England 206-6 (Ballance 66 Buttler 0)

That was a hectic over. First a big heave from Stokes, who was staring at midwicket as Faulkner's ball reared over his middle stump. The one Faulkner dragged a touch short and Stokes pulled an inelegant four through square. Almost the same ball and the same shot next up, but more bottom edge let NCN keep it to two. Then a big heave on the drive missed, showing Faulkner was is in the frame, before Stokes finally missed once too often.

WICKET! Stokes 21, b Faulkner

Up go the bails! That was on the cards, it was a wild over from Ben Stokes, lots of big swipes that weren't quite on, and eventually he misses one that hit the top of middle stump. Right length from Faulkner after some poor shorter balls.

42nd over: England 198-5 (Ballance 66 Stokes 13)

A single from Watson's bowling to Stokes, then a lap behind square by Ballance. Watson does look heavy-footed, doesn't look right as a bowler. Ballance gets two over cover. Two more singles, nine from the over, Watson has gone for 36 from five.

41st over: England 189-5 (Ballance 60 Stokes 10)

McKay back. Nice and consistent, they take a single from every ball there. A couple that might have been two, but there wasn't a lot of urgency in the running. Odd. Still, the shots are there. You'd think England need at least another 70 from the last nine overs. Buttler and Bresnan still to come.

40th over: England 183-5 (Ballance 57 Stokes 7)

First ball of the over, pull shot crunched by Stokes. Good lad. Three balls later he's after it again, top edging, lobs one out to Finch, but on the bounce for one. Ballance runs to third man. Stokes plays a horrible hoick, it was like KP's shot against Johnson in Melbourne, but this one from Coulter-Nile just missed the stumps.

Speaking of KP, Ian Jones says the low ratio of emails to overs is "shocking and very poor from the OBO community and not why most of us read OBO, we can get score and commentary on plenty of sites. So is the ratio a lack of support. or is something more sinister going on? I blame KP of course, he's probably in league with ASIO and intercepting your emails." Of course we can't actually publish all the emails you get, but you may be onto something here.

39th over: England 177-5 (Ballance 56 Stokes 2)

Faulkner continuing, left-arm over. I like him as a player, but his Cricket Australia photo looks way too much like James Brayshaw. Gives me the shivers. Here is Stokes, England's one good thing from the Ashes. No phoenix jokes, they're done. He and Ballance trade four singles.

"Gary Ballance is the dot-dot-single man," says Peter Brown. Pete, should that be dot-dot-dash?

38th over: England 173-5 (Ballance 54 Stokes 0)

Ballance had taken a single from Coulter-Nile, then Bopara played a nice fine dab just wide of the keeper, and Faulkner coming around made a bit of a hash of it, getting on the dive to deflect the ball further into the rope. Bopara then took a single, got the strike back, and was out looking for the third-man rope once more. Ben Stokes is next, he leaves one NCN delivery, and that's the over.

37th over: England 166-4 (Ballance 52 Bopara 12)

Bopara breathes a sigh of relief at facing Faulkner instead, and gets on the pull through midwicket. A single to third man, a Ballance edged single on the on side, then Michael Clarke fumbles backing up and they turn one into two - a rare sight from Clarke. Six from the over, the run rate is up to four and a half, so the platform is there for England to launch. They have plenty of batting to come.

36th over: England 160-4 (Ballance 51 Bopara 7)

Coulter-Nile is back - a bit surprised they didn't keep him on earlier, he looked likely. Might have nipped out a wicket. This time he has Bopara edging into his pad, nearly played that onto the stumps. Doherty pickes up an AFL football that has rolled onto the ground and boots it back into the crowd. The next ball - the fifth of the over - he nearly pokes it up for a catch on the on side, gets a single. Tangled, Bopara. That's the only run from the over.

35th over: England 159-4 (Ballance 51 Bopara 6)

One-day games do turn quickly. England looked in all sorts of trouble to begin with, but a decent partnership later and suddenly they're looking well placed. Another wicket, and away we go again... Doherty finishes his seventh over, concedes two singles, he has 1/29.

33rd over: England 154-4 (Ballance 47 Bopara 5)

Slow and on the pads from Watson, and Ballance tucks a single, just after he'd picked two through cover. Bopara gets two through square leg, then repeats the dose. Some lovely milkmaid work going on in this over. With the extra space of the G, they're just knocking the ball away, gentle shots, making sure they go slowly to the outfield and leave time for an extra run. Seven from the over, no risk, the 150 comes up.

32nd over: England 147-4 (Ballance 44 Bopara 1)

Maxwell has brought to an end a partnership of 83 runs, and a fine 50 from 47 balls from Morgan on his return to England colours. Ravi Bopara got off the mark with a single, and Ballance harvested a couple. The onus is on the young Ballance now to push on to a big score.

WICKET! Morgan 50, c Coulter-Nile b Maxwell

That's the big one! Morgan had just passed 50, Ballance got him back on strike with a single, and then the extra cover fieldsman that Clarke had brought in was suddenly in play, as Morgan whipped Maxwell at catchable height to NCN.

31st over: England 143-3 (Ballance 42 Morgan 49)

McKay continuing, as England tick the singles over nicely, then Morgan plays a lovely chip over extra cover and hits the rope. Looking good.

A great point from Peter Hook, who may or may not be the guy from New Order. "Hi Geoff, not sure if you have been watching the T20 Big Bash, but Wright, Hales & Lumb (sometimes even Kieswetter) are thumping the Aussies all over the park. So what do the England selectors opt for - the 'brute force' of Cook and Root, both woefully out of form and a real liability to the rest of the batting line-up. Bell needs a really aggressive opener to support him, and the absurd thing is that there are plenty of English options in Australia who would be more than willing to emulate Warner & Finch." Cook and Root looked well out of sorts today, and probably just want to go home.

30th over: England 136-3 (Ballance 41 Morgan 43)

Tidy enough over from Maxwell, four singles from it. So at the traditional 30-overs-then-double-it mark, England are on track for a decent score in the 270s. We've seen plenty of sides go a lot bigger than that in the last 10 overs in recent times, though.

29th over: England 132-3 (Ballance 39 Morgan 41)

Clarke has gone back to Clint McKay to search for a wicket, they need to break this partnership now. It's worth 62 as of the start of this over. Morgan gets two on the cut through point, then really hustles to get two more through midwicket. Ballance was the one in danger at the non-striker's end, but just made it. More luck for Morgan, and it continues with the last ball, as he inside-edges the drive through fine leg for another boundary. The Irishman back in front.

28th over: England 124-3 (Ballance 39 Morgan 33)

A few fieldsmen now up closer to the bat for Ballance, after two early singles. He couldn't get through for the next couple of balls, then eventually cleared the front leg and crashed one down the ground. Cat and mouse here, that was an unconvincing shot. His next one isn't though - last ball of the over, Watson's accuracy slips, and he bowls wide of off stump, letting Ballance put away the cut shot. He's back in front.

27th over: England 114-3 (Ballance 30 Morgan 32)

Single to third man for Ballance, then Morgan steps down the wicket to Faulkner to whip a drive on the up over mid off. Audacious stroke. It came off this time, and raises a fifty partnership. It also takes Morgan past Ballance's score, from 17 fewer deliveries. A single off the next ball, then one more to Ballance.

26th over: England 107-3 (Ballance 28 Morgan 27)

Watson continuing, that heavy-footed run up coupled with an uncanny ability to bowl in exactly the right spot. Somehow he's extremely hard to get away. They're getting a one and a two down to third man, then taking a couple of singles by playing tip and run, just knocking the ball to the off side and sprinting through.

25th over: England 102-3 (Ballance 26 Morgan 24)

Another risky shot from Ballance, a checked drive bunted in the air past Warner at cover. That's living dangerously for a single. Morgan then gets his own fortune, pulling a ball that wasn't quite short enough for his shot, and top edging over Haddin for four. England's hundred is up. Faulkner unlucky.

24th over: England 97-3 (Ballance 25 Morgan 20)

Shane Watson on now, plenty of bowling options in this Australian XI. A couple of singles, then Ballance plays a dicey slash, top edges toward third man, but McKay can't quite get around that far. Ballance gets two, then gets an equally dicey single from the last ball. He hasn't looked great, Ballance, but now he's built a start he needs to make the most of it.

23rd over: England 91-3 (Ballance 21 Morgan 19)

Faulkner succeeds in slowing Morgan up here, after a wide and then two runs. He bowls five dot balls at and around off stump, and Morgan can't get him away. If Faulkner can keep that up he'll be in the frame.

22nd over: England 89-3 (Ballance 21 Morgan 17)

That's a beauty - Doherty floats one up, Morgan takes a shuffle towards it to change the length slightly, then lofts six over long off. Three singles as well. Morgan has been doing alright in the Big Bash, he's showing a bit of that form here. Looks in good nick.

21st over: England 80-3 (Ballance 20 Morgan 9)

James Faulkner on for his first bowl of the day, left-arm brisk, over the wicket, and the two batsmen show their preferred shots, Morgan working to point and third man, Ballance pushing twice through the covers. Three singles and a two, England starting to get ticking now.

19th over: England 69-3 (Ballance 12 Morgan 6)

Nice shot from Morgan second ball! Big drive through the covers for four, Maxwell giving him some width. Then takes a single to move to 6 from 4 balls. Ballance takes one with the horizontal-bat cover drive, stretching for the ball.

18th over: England 63-3 (Ballance 10 Morgan 1)

They had the drinks break at the fall of that wicket, so it was a long over. Ballance had been struggling to turn the strike over, just as Root had before him. This time, though, it was the main man Bell who fell victim. Knew they were going too slowly, and wanted to push the rate. There were two singles before the wicket, then Eoin Morgan gets one immediately afterward. Two more dots to GB.

14th over: England 47-2 (Bell 31 Ballance 6)

There you go! Reverse sweep off the pads from Bell, gets it fine, and he'll get four for that. Delicate shot, Doherty thought he was through for an lbw but had to watch the ball roll away. He plays out four cautious deliveries, then takes a single to keep the strike. 31 from 45, he's looking good.

13th over: England 42-2 (Bell 26 Ballance 6)

A single to each batsman, then Bell has a huge cut at Maxwell, as that ball angled across him and didn't turn, sliding further away. Very lucky not to nick that, Bell. Then he has an equally huge drag across the line, ugly, but got two, saved on the rope by Warner. Then he got a single to a poor ball down leg side.

12th over: England 37-2 (Bell 22 Ballance 5)

Xavier Doherty comes on now, in a double spin change, that left-arm javelin-hurling action that he has. Been a good player for Australia's ODI side for a long while. Bell works two singles, Ballance one, still no acceleration as these two try to consolidate.

11th over: England 34-2 (Bell 20 Ballance 4)

So just 28 runs from the 10-over Powerplay for England, and two wickets down. Pretty poor start. Ballance hasn't been able to find a run. Glenn Maxwell comes on to bowl off spin, an interesting call from Clarke.

Finally Ballance gets somewhere, three runs driven behind point. Bell gets a nicely pitched one that he's able to drive for a single. Ballance gets one of his own behind square. Bell copies. Six runs from the pop-collared Maxwell's first over.

10th over: England 28-2 (Bell 18 Ballance 0)

Ouch. Smashed by Bell, absolutely smashed on the straight drive, and Coulter-Nile was really lucky to get the on the heel of his boot rather than his ankle. It might have broken his leg in his follow-through. The batsmen got two down the ground, as NCN certainly saved four. He then comes back nicely with his next five balls - all dot balls, keeping England's most comfortable batsman on strike. Bell getting bat to ball but not with any force, finding the field.

Ellyse Perry has bowled Natalie Sciver in Perth to break a 54-run partnership with Arran Brindle. England Women are 64 for 4 now, a lead of 58.

9th over: England 26-2 (Bell 16 Ballance 0)

Third ball of the McKay over, another Bell single to third man. He's going along alright, but needs some help. Ballance gets a leg bye. Bell plays his first aggressive stroke, a pull that almost carries to Maxwell at deep midwicket. One more run.

Chris Langmead voices the frustrations of many. "Excited to see Stokes, Buttler and Morgan in action, but watching England crawl through the opening 10 overs on a good pitch when all other teams would be motoring at a run a ball is just painful. It's been 20 years since England set the tone in one day cricket... plus ca change..."

7th over: England 22-2 (Bell 13 Ballance 0)

That was the end of some torment for Root, who just like Cook, looks to have carried his baggage over form the Test series. Bell worked a single first ball from McKay, but Root just couldn't get off strike in this innings, and eventually fell from 3 from 22 balls. McKay also bowled a wide, and Gary Ballance survived the one remaining delivery.

WICKET! Root 3, lbw McKay

Full ball, moved in towards the batsman, seamed in, he's reviewed it though.

It looks to me like there might be the fainest nick on the inside edge, but it's really hard to see whether it was a mark or not. Hawk-Eye has it hitting the stumps, so they've given it out, but why was there no Snickometer on that? I suspect he might have just feathered it, hence the review, but that contention hasn't been upheld.

6th over: England 20-1 (Bell 12 Root 3)

Big off-cutter there from Coulter-Nile, enjoying bowling on these decks much more than he did in India. That one seared back in toward Root, past his bat, and over his middle stump. Bell had previously worked a single.

4th over: England 17-1 (Bell 11 Root 1)

Coulter-Nile getting some early outswing too. With these two new balls it might last a bit longer. If they're still using two new balls? They seem to change the rules so often I don't know what's happening. Bell gets two past mid on, he and Root work a single each, then CN overpitches from the last ball and gets driven nicely by Bell for four. Bell was the only England batsman to look truly comfortable against Australia's bowling during the Tests, though he got himself to some soft slogs against the spinners. But he was striking the ball crisply, and the liberation of ODI cricket may bring out the best in him.

3rd over: England 9-1 (Bell 4 Root 0)

A single to fine leg for Bell, but McKay is bowling a tight line for Root, then wafts a really wide ball that Root drives at but can't connect with. There was away swing, and Root nearly nicked it. McKay getting some useful movement.

2nd over: England 8-1 (Bell 3 Root 0)

Nathan Coulter-Nile shares the new ball with McKay. Given my irrational prejudice against people with hyphenated surnames, I might just call him NCN. Sounds like a telco company, though. He bowls a wide first off, before conceding three through cover to Bell. Root tried to leave one, but it swung in and he nicked it along the ground to slip as he kept it out.

If only KP hadn't distracted Cook so badly over the last week, he wouldn't have got out. Right?

1st over: England 4-1 (Bell 0 Root 0)

Well, that was some start. McKay's first ball hooped back in to Cook from over the wicket and rapped the pad, but was just going high. Next ball had some width and was spanked for four. Next was left outside the off stump, then the nick that brought about his downfall. Joe Root got some outswing for his first ball, then knocked his next to the fieldsman at midwicket. That was a nothing shot from Cook on the replay, felt for the ball pushing forward, then wider.

Interesting times ahead

Could be a great contest here if England put a good score together. Plenty of batting for them, then Australia's last ODI outings, in India, had James Faulkner scoring the fastest hundred by an Australian, and George Bailey producing a stunning string of scores between 80 and 150-odd. Bailey is back down to No. 5, with Clarke at 4, though Bailey spent that series batting at 4.

Machinations

Ben Stokes at No. 8 and Bresnan at 9 gives England a lovely long batting order. It means there's no spinner for England bar Joe Root, and they'll be relying on him and Bopara to get them through ten overs. Could be a risk. But if they can plonk 300 on the board here, they won't mind.

The next chapter, or more of the same?

So it's been a long Ashes series, following closely after a long Ashes series, and now we have these last ODIs and T20s to finish things off. One can always feel a bit jaded at this point, but if they get going into some good games, the enthusiasm starts to flow again. Can England get back here, as many of the recent Ashes-losing teams have done? Or will they be too slumped? Alistair Cook didn't look any happier to be here today than he was through most of the Test series. Send me your thoughts: geoff.lemon.casual@theguardian.com.

Peter Siddle and Mike Hussey both suited up in the middle of the MCG for the home broadcaster's commentary. How do you see this trend of getting current players involved in calling the game? Seems to me they have a pronounced conflict of interest that would stop them saying much useful.

Team news

Sorry to be a bit late joining you, had a few issues getting online, but all appears to be functional now. Interesting team news for England: no Finn, no Tredwell. Gary Ballance is in the team, Chris Jordan will play his second ODI. Where is Steve Finn's career going, people? James Pattinson is out for Australia, as is Mitchell Johnson, though both will be back. Pressure on Clint McKay, one of Australia's best one-day bowlers, but with some modest recent form.

Away we go

Good afternoon or evening all, or perhaps morning for some keen readers in further corners of the world. It's a beautiful summer's day here in Melbourne, high 20s and clear blue skies, we all went for a swim this morning then enjoyed some lunch, no big deal. If it's the dead of night and cold where you are, please accept my condolences.

Alistair Cook has won the toss and elected to bat. Team news to follow shortly.

Geoff wil be here from 2.30am GMT (ish) with all the build-up to the first ODI between Australia and England. In the meantime, read Alastair Cook's thoughts on the England captaincy and Kevin Pietersen.

Alastair Cook has offered the broadest hint so far that he has received assurances he will stay on as England captain. Speaking at the Melbourne Cricket Ground ahead of the first one-day international against Australia, England's captain also stopped short of offering any support for the prospect of Kevin Pietersen's intermational future.

Like a Rolf Harris cartoon doodle the exact outline of England's post-Ashes whitewash shakedown continues to take shape a single sketch stroke at a time, with a hint here, a nudge there, and a general sense of blanks very slowly being filled. We may not be able to see what it is just yet, but in Melbourne Cook added another stroke of colour by revealing he has now had the chance to speak to the ECB managing director Paul Downton, and felt free enough discussing his own future to refer with some enthusiasm to the prospect of finessing his leadership of the England team over the next few years.

"It is reassuring," Cook said, asked about reports of assurances offered by the ECB on his future as captain. "I have had a couple of meetings with Paul Downton and Andy [Flower] before he went home. It is nice knowing that and the opportunity to make amends as a captain. I am desperate to try and do it. The challenge is whether I am good enough to do it and we will see over the next few years or however long."