When Mike Schmidt made a tearful and hasty farewell from baseball in a press conference nearly a quarter-century ago, there came this long, pained search for the “next” Schmidt.

In truth, it started years earlier, when Schmitty ceded the hot corner to Rick Schu in 1985 and moved to first base — except that when 1986 rolled around the Phils realized their best third baseman was still Schmidt.

Retirement, however, made the need official. And so it began, going from the adequacy of Charlie Hayes, to Dave Hollins and his fleeting flash of very-goodness in 1992-93, to a return of Hayes for a season, to Todd Zeile and his cocktail napkin’s worth of range. Then, in 1997, Scott Rolen arrived and allowed the specter of Schmidt to slowly dissolve.

Fast-forward to this first month of Phillies baseball in 2014, a month where the three guys who have made starts at third base — Cody Asche (16), Freddy Galvis (5) and Jayson Nix (4) — have hit for a combined .165 average with a .493 OPS while at the position. The good news is that with a big day or two at the plate, they actually could surpass the combined batting average of Phillies’ pitchers (.196).

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How bad is it?

It’s so bad that the third basemen’s OPS is actually lower than the career mark of Michael Martinez (.495), whose big-league call-ups during the previous two seasons were like pepper spray to fans.

It’s so bad that you’re left to wonder if Michael Young could be compelled to come out of retirement.

It’s so bad that Pedro Feliz would be a sight for sore eyes.

What makes it really bad — extremely bad — is that the guy everyone would love to see come to the rescue isn’t doing a whole lot more in Triple-A at the moment.

Maikel Franco, the organization’s top hitting prospect, might have fans marching to the ballpark with torches demanding his arrival in Philly if it weren’t for the fact that his numbers for Lehigh Valley — a .176 average, .498 OPS, one home run and seven RBIs in 92 plate appearances — are virtually identical to what the Asche/Galvis/Nix three-headed blah-ster have done.

Of course, Franco is only 21 and at this time a year ago was starting his first season of high-Class A baseball in Clearwater. So the fact that Franco is at Triple-A is a fast-track move in itself.

The big problem is that the Phillies thought that Asche would, at worst, buy them enough time before Franco was ready. At best, they thought they might have a serious debate to settle over whether Asche or Franco should be at third for the next several years.

It is way too early to give up on Asche, although it seems the coaching staff is wavering on him rather quickly. After all, the guy went 3-for-4 with a home run Opening Day and found himself on the bench for Game 2. Since that big opener in Texas, Asche is hitting .161 with 19 strikeouts in 56 at-bats. Saturday in Arizona, Asche had a big pinch-hit double that helped the Phils score a win. It was the type of hit a guy hopes can bring some momentum with it.

Nope. Sunday, Asche went 0-for-4 with four strikeouts. The only thing that has spared him more scrutiny is the fact that Galvis has reinvented the meaning of MRSA to mean My Rotten Season Average. That MRSA would be .033, as Galvis has two more days to find a way not to have the fifth-lowest average in history for a player in April with at least 30 plate appearances.

The good news is that the catchers have been picking up the slack, as Monday Carlos Ruiz was named National League Player of the Week for going 11-for-22 in his final six games of the road trip and backup Wil Nieves has caught three shutouts and gone 5-0 as a starter. The .840 OPS from the catchers ranks the Phillies sixth in baseball at that position.

That probably won’t stay that high. And their third basemen can’t possibly remain this woeful. It can’t. Whether that means Asche pulls it together or Franco gets his shot remains to be seen.

At this point, the Phillies would settle for the next David Bell. No need to be picky.