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Travels

Lindsay and I had a great time in Las Vegas. We stayed at the MGM Grand blah blah blah blah I just want to tell you a funny story about that one time Lindsay got into a fight at a piano bar.

We visited the Paris to go to a dueling-piano bar on Tuesday night on recommendation from my mom and sister. This is the first time Linds or I have been to any sort of bar, so we were a little nervous about protocol and what would happen when us nice Mormon kids try to order just a couple of soda-pops.

That timidness was only a problem at the beginning of the night though because Lindsay got pretty feisty after just a few Diet Cokes. What I am referring to is the verbal fight she got into with the one of the piano players.

Here’s what happened:

They were playing all the typical oldies you would expect to hear at a Piano bar where any tipping patron can request any rock song from the past 57 years. Boring.

Some sweet young hipster girl with a pixie cut requested Yoshimi Battles Pink Robots with a cool 10 dollars, thinking that “it was a long shot but they might know it” because they are music people.

Well, “the cute one” (as the hipster girl called him), grabbed the piece of paper with the request on it and asked his partner, “Do you know ‘Yoshema battles pink robots?'” (Make sure you add some overacted disgustedness into that line as you read it).

His partner (the non-cute one) says it sounds like something from Teletubbies or something, and then the cute one turns his attention to the audience to find out who requested this and what it is.

He explains that they like to play “the hits,” preferably something that’s played on the “FM radio” and asks what this song is; the hipster girl behind us timidly says, “It’s by the Flaming Lips.”

But that answer never gets to the cute one because she’s too shy, so Lindsay, with all her Diet-Coke liquid courage, shouts out, “It’s by the Flaming Lips!” and all eyes are on us. (If you’re thinking this place isn’t crowded because it’s a bar on a Tuesday night, think again–it’s freaking packed for some reason).

The cute one: The flaming lips? Uh, oh. I think they have an ointment for that. You might want to get that checked out.

Lindsay: (Pointing to me) He doesn’t seem to mind!

Pretty quick thinking Linds, but I’m not feeling as courageous as her so I’m not sure how I feel about being pulled into this altercation.

The cute one, to me: Are you with her, sir?

I shake my head and slowly scoot away from Lindsay to save myself. It’s too late though, he already knows.

The cute one, to me: Well, be careful. You’re going to want to wrap it up.

They continued making jokes about “the flaming lips” throughout the rest of the night (e.g., in response to a request for Great Balls of Fire).

The hipster girl was able to make a second request and we got to hear a very mediocre “Hey Ya” instead (which has definitely played on the FM Radio).

Overall it was a pretty funny evening and we had a great time at the piano bar. The musicians were funny and talented, and we didn’t mind being the butt of one of their jokes. If you’re ever in Vegas on a Tuesday night and realize that you don’t really gamble, drink, or do anything else Vegas-y, you could check out Napoleon’s Dueling Piano Bar–and don’t be afraid to order just soda-pops.

Our summer deep in the heart of Texas has ended and today we’ll be starting our exciting trek back. You may be thinking I’m being sarcastic by saying ‘exciting’, seeing as how we’ll be in the car for a total of 24 hours, but that it 100% literal excitement. In fact, so much of it that I haven’t been able to sleep for the last week. We’ve had an amazing experience figuring out a new place together, but we’ve sorely missed our bed, family, and friends in that order- just kidding… sort of.

Before we go, I want to express my feelings to Ol’ San Anton. I’ve thought a lot about our interesting relationship and decided the best way to do so was by making a list of a few things we will and will not miss about you. So here you go…

WON’T:

Frontage roads
Sweverything (Sweaty-everything)
Nutty-nuts drivers
Being glued to Google Maps
Texas-sized roaches
DevilMotherCat
Ron’s apartment
A bed that creaks with every move
Jellyfish stings
The worst couch in the world
Not having enough friends to play Bang
TV commercials
Flash floods that cause power outages
Dreaming of Noodles & Co. / Costa Vida
Did I mention the INSANE drivers?!?!