LP Lotion: New Country Bear Jamboree Opens at the Magic KingdomPage 1 of 11

Posted October 18, 2012

Yesterday the newly updated Country Bear Jamboree at reopened at the Magic Kingdom. The show is largely the same but it has been shortend with a couple of segments and several lines removed. One segment has also been moved to a new position. Below is a complete video we've taken of the new show and a video of the old show found on YouTube. We've also taken a transcript of the original show (found at the5bearrugs.webs.com) and did a strikeout on all the removed lines and sections.

Transcript

BuffHey Henry, what's holding ya up? Let's get on with the show! We can't hang around here all day.

BuckNow Buff, be patient. It takes a little doing to set these things up.

HenryOkay, okay boys, take it easy, take it easy. Now we're ready to start. Sorry folks, I'll be right with you.

HenryGive me a little intro there Gomer.Howdy folks, welcome to the one and only original Country Bear Jamboree featuring a bit of Americana, our musical heritage of the past. But enough of this chit chat, yick yack, and flim flam. Just refrain from hybernating and we'll all enjoy the show, because we got a lot to give.

MelvinHey, he's a regular Liberace.

BuckAnd he plays good too.

HenryAnd right now, I give you assorted assortment of executioners of music and song. The Five Bear Rugs plus Gomer. Hit it boys.

Henry singingThe Bear Band bears will play nowin the good ole' key of G,Zeke, and Zed, and Ted, and FredAnd a bear named Tennessee.

Zeke is twanging on the banjoand tapping with his feetor banging on the dishpanwith a real ole country beat.

Zed is sawing on the fiddlewith a crooked hickory bow.When the spirit moves that bruinhe can make that fiddle go.

And Ted is on the cornjug.Now I mean that bear can blow.He also plays the washboardwith a handle on a hoe.

Big Fred's playing mouth harp.He plays it kinds sad.He never took a lesson.He just picked it from Dad.

And little ole Tennessee bearis featured on the Thing.Sounds just like a guitarbut it's only got one string.

So clap your hands, and stomp your feetand try to keep right with us.One sure thing the bear band's gotis good old country rhythm.

So clap your hands, and stomp your feetand try to keep right with us.One sure thing the bear band's gotis good old country rhythm.

WendellAren't you going to help me out over there Henry? Goodness gracious! What do you think we have you on the show fer.

HenryNow Wendell...

WendellYou're supposed to pick...

HenryNow Wendell please...

WendellAh, If you can't cut it, just lay out.

HenryWell let's not fight now, cause we got work to do here.

WendellLet's do it.

Henry singsNow here's a fractured folk song,butchered by two birds.

Wendell singsWe wrote these lousy lyricsand we also wrote the words.

Henry singsThe chords are very simple.In fact, there's only three.First there's G, then C then D.And then you go on back to G.

WendellBut you got to be quick!

HenryHahaha.

Ernest’s song has been moved from later in the show to here

Ernest One night I left the wife at home and went out with the boysI was acting like a Don Juan and making a lot of noise

Henry"You old lover boy!"

ErnestA gogo girl called my hand, I said,"I can't I'm a married man"She said if you ain't a gonna steal, you better not prowl."He's a born loser!"Don't dosido with a gogo, if you can't bite don't growl.If you can't bite don't growl.

The inserted Ernest section ends here and the old show resumes

HenryAnd now a heart rendering ditty, by our own growler of song, Liver Lips McGrowl! Sing it Mac!

Liver Lips singsI got a woman, she's got me.Whatever we do, we both agreeShe ain't purty, but I ain't too.The things we like are the things we do.

HenryYes, folks we only have high class stuff on this show. And now here is a special treat out of Tampa. A little bit of ever loving cuddlesome fluff, our own Trixie!

Trixie singsTears will be the chaser for your wine.After you leave this love of mine.Bright lights and taverns,That's where you'll spend your time,and tears will be the chaser for your wine.

HenryBeautiful, Beautiful. That was a mighty big song Trixie!

TrixieOh thank you Henry!

BuffThat sure ain't all that's big.

BuckWell, you're no light weight yourself Buff!

HenryBoys, boys, watch your manners...

MelvinYeah, if you can't say something nice...err...

HenryBoys, boys, okay now boys if you just stop carrying on like, we just might dedicate this next song to you all. And we so dedicate. Sing it Zeke!

Zeke singingWhen I was young and in my prime.I thought I thought never would marrybut I fell in love with a pretty little galAnd sure enough we married.

"Ataboy, Zeke!"Ring-a-ding-ding Mary,Prettiest little gal, I ever did see.Her name was Devillish Mary."What a gal!"

Hadn't been married but about two weeksShe got as mean as the devilAnd every time I looked cross-eyedShe'd hit me on the head with a shevill."How sad."

Ring-a-ding-ding Mary,Prettiest little gal, I ever did seeHer name was Devillish Mary."What a pity!"Her name was Devillish Mary.

WilburHow long is forever?How soon is now or never?How long will this heartaches linger on?and how long will my baby be gone?

HenryNow, here they come, those little sun bonnets from the sunshine state, Bunny, Bubbles, and Buelah!

Sun BonnetsEverytime I meet a guy who gets me shookall I ever get from him's a dirty look.It's the same way, everwhere I've found.All the guys that turn me on, turn me down.

All the guys that turn me on, turn me down.Nothing works for me that I found.It's the same way everywhere I see.Nothing ever seems to work for meNothing ever seems to work for meDoodle Doodle Do-Do-Do Bum Bump.

This is where the Ernest section used to be

HenryMy my. Now here she is, that delightful, delicate, dedicated dimple darling of the Dakotas. The last of the big time swingers. Swinging Teddi Berra! Swing it Teddi!

Big AlThere was blood on the saddleand blood all aroundAnd a great big puddleof blood on the ground!Hehehe

HenryBorn on the mountain top in Tennesseegreenest state in the land of the free.Raised in the woods, so he knew every tree.Tamed him a b'ar when he was only three.

Davy, Davy crockett. King of the Wild Frontier.Up through the woods, he's a marching alongmaking up yarns and a singing his song.Itchin' fer fightin' and rightin' a wrong....

HenryHey, wait a minute! Hold the phone down there, you've had your turn.

SammyHenry, Henry, we've need help!

HenryRight Sammy! Hey gang hit it!

Cast singingWell he's big around the middleand he's broad across the rump,running 90 miles an hourmaking 30 feet a jump.He's never been corneredand he's never been treed.Some folks say he's looks a lot like me.

High on the mountain,tell me what do you see?Bear tracks, bear tracks,looking back at me.

He's big around the middleand he's broad across the rump,running 90 miles an hourmaking 30 feet a jump.

He's never been corneredand he's never been treed.Some folks say he's looks a lot like me.

HenryHehehe, well as you can see, we're just one big happy family. Well folks, this concludes our show. So thanks for bearing with us to the bear end and barrel around to see us again. What do you say Sammy?