Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Jesus! He will give you intimacy, warmth, and companionship you can only approximate with a human! He NEVER fails; something that's important to me right now.

What? Mary Magdalene's on the computer (okay, so I dig Gnosticism & the idea of Jesus & The Magdalene being a couple)?! It's a nice sentiment when taken non-literally or as a delaration of a celibacy vow but c'mon...