Television.

Opposites Don't Attract

Andrea Parker's laugh is hearty, easy and natural -- and totally out of character with her television role.

Parker plays Miss Parker , the sarcastic, mean-spirited pursuer of genius fugitive Jarod (Chicagoan Michael T. Weiss) on NBC's cool action series "The Pretender," which returns for a third season at 8 p.m. Saturday on WMAQ-Ch. 5.

Miss Parker hardly grins, so hearing the infectious chuckles from Parker is unexpected and charming.

"She's a piece of work, no doubt," says Parker of her namesake alter ego.

Miss Parker is one of the most amusingly brittle characters on television. She delights in belittling Jarod and those around her at the Centre, the mysterious think-tank that develops -- for its own nefarious reasons -- such talented unfortunates as Jarod, whom the group kidnapped when he was a child.

But when talking to Parker about Miss Parker, you get a clear understanding of what her rude, unlikable character is about.

"It's so easy for me to feel sorry for her," says Parker, who just celebrated her 30th birthday. "She's a very sad character, as far as I'm concerned. It's our collective experiences as people that make us who we are. And her experiences, one after the other, have been very lonely and sad."

Miss Parker's mother was the only nurturing person in her life, but she supposedly killed herself when her daughter was a child. Miss Parker shunned her mother because she thought she was weak. When she discovered her mother was murdered -- by, as it turns out, Jarod's father -- she was obsessed with discovering the truth.

Adding to Miss Parker's warped psychology is her father (Harve Presnell), a chief at the Centre who is emotionally remote and uncaring -- traits that Miss Parker overlooks in trying to win his approval.

"Her aggressiveness and her controlling and impatience and all of these nasty qualities about her are really just a part of her defense mechanism, and they protect her," explains Parker, a Southern California native whose first speaking part was on "Seinfeld" about eight years ago.

Despite all the angst associated with such a person, Parker enjoys getting under the skin of the character. She says fans have been supportive, and only a few have mixed up the character with the real person.

And even that is fine with Parker.

"It's a compliment for people to think that I truly am Miss Parker and that I am nasty and mean. I'm flattered by that. That only means that I'm doing my job well."

The warm and appealing Andrea Parker does her job very well indeed.

- Styling and profiling: While "The Pretender's" season premiere picks up where the finale left off -- both from a cliffhanger where a fire bomb roasted a section of the Centre, and in the show's hip, stylish feel -- the same can't be said for the series' companion drama, "Profiler."

The third-season premiere, at 9 p.m.Oct. 17 on Channel 5, also weaves threads from a cliffhanger, with FBI forensic psychologist Samantha Waters (Ally Walker) hunting for her tormenting stalker, the Jack of All Trades, inside a locked-down maximum-security prison.

That the criminal genius escapes should come as no surprise to fans of the show. But what is a series-altering shocker is Jack--whose face we've never seen -- is both revealed and captured by episode's end.

It's part of sweeping changes made by new "Profiler" executive producer Stephen Kronish, who has worked on "Wiseguy" and "The Commish."

Bad choices are made all around, starting with the removal of the dark, moody visual tone of the series in favor of a flatter, clearer look. It continues with a trimming of the cast, with Erica Gimpel's character Angel, Sam's best friend and roommate, as the big loser. She's in Saturday's episode, but her role will be drastically diminished.

The Jack issue remains the most troubling. The compelling "B"-story saw Sam terrorized by the obsessive serial killer. Most episodes had Jack plotting ways to hassle Sam; Sam and other agents trying to grab Jack; and both staying just beyond each other's grasp.

Kronish wanted Jack dealt with so the other characters could be free to explore their potential, as well as get into the nuts-and-bolts aspects of criminal investigation.

But the subplot was compelling, just like Miss Parker and the political intrigue behind the Centre is interesting for "The Pretender."

Here's the thing: The actor who plays the captured Jack on Saturday isn't the same guy who has portrayed the villain the last two seasons. What's worse, he isn't even as menacing as the unseen Jack, who always looked and sounded as if he were Dennis Christopher of the movie "Breaking Away."

"It's about him and me," Sam says of Jack in Saturday's episode. "It always has been."