Beauty Injections

Addicted to looking good? Beware of “beauty injections” being offered in some California and New York salons where the active ingredient is cooking oil. People are dying as a result of this bizarre practice.

The New York city health department is warning that some unscrupulous practitioners are injecting silicone, petroleum jelly, castor oil, mineral oil and cod liver oil into the faces, hips, thighs, breasts and buttocks of people wishing to enhance these body parts. Some of the side effects include “serious infections, nerve damage, respiratory and kidney failure, irreversible disabilities, disfigurement and death,” according to the NYC Department of Health.

Sigh…c’mon now! Who the heck thinks that cooking oil injected into the face is going to enhance looks? Dang! Well, I guess I gotta say it for those who don’t know: Do not get any cosmetic procedure done in someone’s house, a hotel room, or the back seat of a car! Please! Go to the doctor, dagnamit! In fact, get the doggone Mazola corn oil…out…of…your…house…NOW! There, that should do it.