Would you tell someone if they smelled bad?

I ran into this kind of situation a lot more when I was in China (they love to eat raw garlic for breakfast over there...gag), but another situation with a smelly co-worker has arisen!

I think it's a combination of him sweating a lot and not wearing the right kind of/any deodorant. He's a really nice guy, and doesn't come across as being "dirty", but still often carries a foul smell.

Since I'm not in the states, working in a culture that's foreign to me, I'm not going to say anything (I don't want to risk it), but I really thought about what I would do if this was an American workplace, where I'm more in my comfort zone to say something. Personally, I would probably try to orchestrate creative circumstances, most likely involving others, in order for him to see that he smells bad without pointing it out to him, directly, and possibly hurting his feelings.

How about you? Have you been in this situation? Would you tell the person that they...well - stink? How would you go about it?

Top Answers

I actually had an employee that stunk to high heaven. I had to get HR involved and the legal department just to find a proper way to tell him that he stunk and he had to adhere to the company policy regarding personal hygiene and personal presentation. It took me 2 months of waiting for them to come up with a plan on how to address the issue. Once I told him about the issue, he said "I can't smell a thing, what are you talking about" I told him we had customer complaints and associate concerns. It got to the point where a secret shopper noted on a shop that the customer smelled. after another 90 days of smelling and documentation he actually gave his notice. I ran into him about a year ago, working at McDonalds, he smelled even worse!

slightly different point of view: i was on the recieving end once. i had a coworker pull me to the side and tell me that i smelled. i hadn't realized so i took that as a clue to go hunt a different kind of deodorant. i did thank the person because no one else had the nerve to tell me. and next time i worked with her i could tell she was skitish until i explained "thanks for the heads up. i went and found a new deodorant, let me know if it isn't working well please."

This comes up a lot at PAX. It's not that attendees (or Enforcers, for that matter) are that bad, there's just so much going on and a constant flow of humanity in such a small space. I think the best answer is to politely hint someone should freshen up, or at least go take a break. Another method I saw: offering to do their laundry.

My joke was, "Hey, if you smelled really bad, would you want someone to tell you, or just walk away? Walk away? See you later!"

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I work in a call center (in America), and because everyone is sitting right next to six other people, it's impossible to avoid these conversations whenever a person smells. Generally a supervisor pulls them aside, and approaches the subject as awkwardly but politely as possible. I haven't yet had to do it, but I would if it came up. Though frankly, I've historically had more problems with people Lysol bombing a region I was sitting in than with people who just smell bad.

In social situations, I would probably not bring it up at all. I'm not overly sensitive to smells, so I can usually ignore all but the worst.

Saying something to a supervisor is probably a good idea. There's virtually no way to say something without embarrassing him or hurting his feelings but I feel that coming from an authority figure is somehow better.

If that's not an option, just say it as nice as you can. Maybe use the compliment sandwich.

I actually had an employee that stunk to high heaven. I had to get HR involved and the legal department just to find a proper way to tell him that he stunk and he had to adhere to the company policy regarding personal hygiene and personal presentation. It took me 2 months of waiting for them to come up with a plan on how to address the issue. Once I told him about the issue, he said "I can't smell a thing, what are you talking about" I told him we had customer complaints and associate concerns. It got to the point where a secret shopper noted on a shop that the customer smelled. after another 90 days of smelling and documentation he actually gave his notice. I ran into him about a year ago, working at McDonalds, he smelled even worse!

While us Floridians are more tolerant of stinky people, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about....

Let's face some facts: Down here in FL EVERYONE sweats. That's what happens when it's 96 outside with 75% humidity. If you work outside, there is no deodorant in the world that is going to save you.

The ones we have a problem with are the DIRTY stinky people. I know it sounds gross, but sweaty people who have good personal hygiene smell a whole lot different than someone who hasn't showered in a week. I am not kidding when I say you can smell them from 40' away - and it usually happens in a Grocery store or a restaurant!

Each morning in huddle I get sandwhiched between people with really, really foul breath. Like, even when I'm not facing them or even standing across the quad (4 cube 'bullpen'). I've noticed it is 4 or 5 different people on my team of 20 or so.

I wish I could say something but many of the folks I work with are 20+ years older than me and I think it is clear many of them do not brush their teeth regularly. I don't mean to imply that middle aged folks don't brush their teeth - but that's what it seems! I feel like I am in the minority. In my quad we even have a communal gum basket. Chew some gum people!!!

What can I do - send out a public service announcement on oral hygiene? Ugh - ick!

@meh3884: Put little travel size bottles of mouthwash in the communal gum basket? Not all people chew gum - esp. sugar infused. Of course, not all people use mouth wash either. ...But the 'hint' is direct w/mouthwash.

I worked with a man who claimed he didn't need deodorant because he didn't smell. I was trapped with him on a hot summer day in a car with no ac. He raised his arm, and I nearly passed out. Needless to say I never went anywhere with him again. Some people just don't smell themselves. I also lived oversees for a bit. You can't even find deodorant over there. It's bizarre.

slightly different point of view: i was on the recieving end once. i had a coworker pull me to the side and tell me that i smelled. i hadn't realized so i took that as a clue to go hunt a different kind of deodorant. i did thank the person because no one else had the nerve to tell me. and next time i worked with her i could tell she was skitish until i explained "thanks for the heads up. i went and found a new deodorant, let me know if it isn't working well please."

In HR it was occasionally my unpleasant task to deliver this news to an employee. It's never easy. Even in a foreign country I would think that you could approach the HR office with this problem. There might be cultural issues that they could best deal with.

On a related note, I had to deal with employees who had medical problems that caused body odors. Double urgh! Try to imagine, if you can, what THOSE medical excuses looked like! And imagine how to deal with co-workers who couldn't tolerate the odor without revealing the confidential info.

If nothing else works, see about getting an inexpensive air purifier for your desk.

Unfortunately, I was a supervisor that had to have the awkward conversation with one of the guys that used to work for me. (Things got better after the conversation.) He no longer reports to me, so it stopped being my problem, though I believe the situation has greatly improved.

Another of the guys who works for me also has a bit of an odor issue (not as bad as the one above), though he has a private office (used to be a large closet, actually) and rarely works with others, so I haven't gotten any complaints.

I have to deliver this news to people somewhat regularly -- it's an occupational hazard in Human Resources. It's never much fun, but most people take it with good grace, and are thankful for the heads-up, since they don't intend to offend others.

The best approach is to do it privately, respectfully, and as matter-of-factly as possible. Treat it as a normal business discussion, and frame it as "this could happen to anyone, and often does." This gives you the best chance of keeping a small deal from becoming a big deal.

This comes up a lot at PAX. It's not that attendees (or Enforcers, for that matter) are that bad, there's just so much going on and a constant flow of humanity in such a small space. I think the best answer is to politely hint someone should freshen up, or at least go take a break. Another method I saw: offering to do their laundry.

My joke was, "Hey, if you smelled really bad, would you want someone to tell you, or just walk away? Walk away? See you later!"

I used to work for a heart catheter manufacturer in a "clean room" environment. They have facilities in a few countries and offered an exchange program that let people live/work in another country for a year or two. A group of people that came from a cool, damp climate transferred to Southern California. Their cultural habit was to shower every few days, and skip the deodorant. HR actually had to come up with a special training module for these transfers (and all following them) on hygiene in the states, and specifically hot weather states. This training covered daily showers, deodorant, dental hygiene, and laundry.
I feel for the person who had to teach that class. But it worked!

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