So…. it just sunk in that my last name is going to change… for 23 years I have had the same last name and it is hard to depart from it! Anyone else having a hard time letting go?!? I talked to the fiance and he doesn’t want me to hyphenate my last name with his. Not too happy!!!

I am actually REALLY excited. I have a pretty complicated last name that no one seems to be able to pronounce. FI’s last name is really easy – and I’m going to be a teacher so a simple last name will make my life alot easier!!

Not changing it. I was married before and had a double last name (which I promptly dropped upon our divorce which was very confusing in my industy). I’m too far along professionally to want to change it again. Luckily and surprisingly, he doesn’t care either way.

The only time I had a little twinge about changing it was when I looked at the marriage license application form and it said Father’s name and when I think about losing his name I get a little sad but more than sad I am excited to start my family and adopt my Fiance name!

I can’t wait because it’s a sign of love and unity between J and I. I am PROUD to be becoming his wife! But I’m definitely sad to be ‘losing’ a portion of my identity too. I’m about 90% decided to keep/add my last name as a second middle name (so I’ll be first-middle-mylast-hislast) – a mouthful, but I almost NEVER use my middle now, so I figure it won’t come up often!

I like my last name but it is a very very common name. Its like top three most common last names lol. My fi’s is very different and I know it will be a little strange at first but I cannot wait to share his name.

It would be pretty confusing if both bride and groom changed and took the other’s name! I think that it can go either way, the man can take his wife’s name and vice versa. Traditionally name ‘inheritance’ is pretty patriachal anyway. So I really don’t see it as a sign of independance or a feminist move to keep your maiden name – it is still your father’s name and thus derived from a man. Anyway, I’ve chosen to go the traditional route and take my future husband’s name.

Miss Paris, if couples really wanted to have the same name, they could both change to a wholly new name. Yet somehow, the same guys who think that is too much of a hassle for them think it is fine to insist that women go through that hassle.

Yes, most people’s last names come from their fathers. However, the issue with changing your name is that you lose your history. Looking for my classmates from high school or college, for example, I can easily pick out the guys on Facebook. However, there is no way to identify women I went to school with unless I know whom they married.

As far as I’m concerned, both my first and last names were originally arbitrary choices by my parents. However, they are now part of my identity, and I see no reason to change.

I have to say this is a hard one for us. Never thought it would be an issue but it is.

I want to keep my name — it’s unique and people remember it. And it’s me! I just can’t imagine being called something else.

My Fiance always assumed his future wife would take his name. It’s a nice name and I have no qualms about being called Mrs. M, but to abandon the name I’ve always been known as just doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m still very unsettled about this, and our wedding is in a month. The best solution I’ve come up with is to legally carry both names and use whichever one I want. I don’t know how practical that will be, but it’s my starting point.

Plus, like SF Carrie mentioned, there are no 100% guarantees in this life and I really don’t want the hassle of changing names again if we were ever to split up. I know women who have had 4+ different names over their lifetime — and to me, that’s crazy!!

I disagree that you lose your history in changing your name. I am who I am, no matter what you call me. I will not lose my past experiences, memories, achievements, my family and acquaintances in changing my name. Yes, your name is part of your identity, but it is not your entire identity. I think it is a personal choice, it depends on what the couple wants and decides is best for them.