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An exploration of mood

Today, I've been exploring. I spent some time down by the beck, near the back of the garden, where the dark water gushed, branches shook and the leaves curled and threatened to fall.Wet twigs snapped under my feet. Birds flew away. I've felt the urge to venture in to new territory with my photography too, entering a darker realm of mind that is frequented by ghosts and demons. I wanted to take some photos that were synonymous of how I was feeling, as a way to express it and also as some kind of comfort. A kind of pathetic fallacy.
I've been undergoing a difficult period - I like how some say of transformation - and I've been fighting with my demons. On my bad days I completely forget what it's like to have a good one: I am overwhelmed with sleep, malaise, waves of nausea. But the worst is the anxiety and the panic at not being able to escape it. When I am able, I keep busy. Helping people and making things are good kinds of therapy because it gives me purpose and strength. Here I am making a homemade potpourri using fir cones I collected, also using cinnamon oil, pine needles and cloves. I'm surrounded by trees, I'm never alone. With a little time and love they will bloom in pomp and splendour again: little creatures will come and live there, even flowers might bloom!

I keep coming back to my Haunted Girl pinterest board for inspiration... consolation? Maybe my pictures are like poetry in that they might speak better than my words. "I thought I heard your voice in the thunder... it's the owl casting spells that we're under" - Vanessa Carlton

43 comments
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These are some really lovely pictures. Isn't taking a walk in the woods therapeutic? That's why I am studying Parks and Wildlife Management -- so I can be outside as often as I can.I am so sorry that things don't seem quite "right" -- but I feel like I can relate to you. When you're going through major changes (or "growing up, as my parents tell me) things can feel difficult and confusing. Find yourself and your place and your purpose isn't easy.Keep yourself busy, think happy thoughts, and remember that your life is beautiful :)

Hi Alex, thanks so much! It can be so therapeutic to escape from the fast paced world in to a dark, serene environment ^^ nature can help in so many ways! That's so cool! Thanks so much for your advice! :D xx

Thanks so much Rhea, that's always so good to remember! ^^ aw I love spending time with nature, I can get so caught up in the world of internet and flashing lights, it is very relaxing to get away! xxx

Not a pathetic fallacy at all, Elizabeth! Very creative in fact---I feel like the most beautiful art comes out of us during our darkest times. In fact my most beautiful writing has come out during times when I forgot what the light looked like. That aside I really hope things get better for you sooner than later, lovely~ Every storm has an end. Pinky promise <3 xxxShe Will Be

Hehe I see what you did there! xD Thanks so much Sylvia! That's a very interesting idea, maybe we are exploring a less familiar part of our soul the darker we go and it comes out in our writing and pictures! Your writing is stunning, you should definitely be a poet :D thanks so much Sylvia, that helps a lot! xxx

Beautiful pictures honey, I really relate to that urge to find something or make something that depicts how you feel because the consolation it brings is unexplainable <3 I'm sorry you're going through dark times right now and I know it's scary feeling like you can't escape but you will, it has to be possible, we have to believe it is possible <3 I'm like you and find being creative helpful when I have the energy, I've taken to cross stitching recently to keep me calm, especially at night :)

Hi Marianne, thanks so much for your lovely comment! It's so nice to have someone relate to how you are feeling and thank you for reading my post, that helps a lot! Cross stitching sounds really cool, I'd love to try that! :D xxx

These are such lovely photos and I think it's great that you're discovering places like these especially when you don't feel quite right. It's easy to spiral into a dark place so you're doing amazingly by carrying on and helping yourself xx

I think it's great to find somewhere to escape in nature when your not feeling your best. When I'm feeling down...I like to take a walk along the beach to clear my head and taken the fresh air and scenery.

Elizabeth, your words are as poetic as your pictures, you can be sure of that! This was a beautiful post, and I'm sorry to hear that this beautiful text is used to describe a feeling that is not so nice. I'm glad I discovered your blog, and I'll be reading your next posts hoping that you'll feel better very soon! :)