Search

Today I realized that I do not feel like I belong in Spokane. As I explained to a friend, I came here to make changes, but this is a city where people settle instead of change. I do not settle.

The entire impetuous for moving here was to take advantage of the low cost of living while I began working on the prerequisites for the degree program I want. After weeks of maddening phone calls, today the community college finally admitted they are too understaffed to process my financial aid application in time for the fall quarter, so there is absolutely no chance I’ll get so much as a student loan until winter. Without financial aid, I can’t go to school. If I can’t go to school, there is absolutely no reason for me to be in Spokane.

It’s been an incredibly frustrating couple of weeks, but I just assumed that everything would get worked out. I applied months ago, and I’ve been on top of all the necessary paperwork and I’ve been very proactive about calling. How hard is it to get into community college? Today I had to abandon those assumptions and reassess.

What I want to do now is get a small business loan or a personal loan or whatever it takes to get my business off the ground. If I can give myself a few months to focus on this, I think I’ll have something that will support me by the end of the year. If I can make this happen, Spokane will be a very good place to be for the next few months while I build my income potential.

This is a huge departure from my original plan, but it’s very much in line with what I want for myself: interesting, location-independent work. Before I’ve always had an excuse not to pursue this, but I’m quickly running out of excuses. Initially this felt like a set-back, but I’m starting to see the potential.

One Response to “I don’t belong here.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

[…] Earlier this week I wrote that I don’t belong in Spokane, so a friend asked me the logical question: where am I going to go next? Good question. My lease here goes through April, and it makes sense to stay somewhere where the cost of living is this cheap while I try to get my career out of the kitchen. That being said, eight months is enough time to start bringing in some sort of reliable, misery-free income and it will be more than enough time in Spokane. […]

Updates via Email

Featured Posts

How Did I Have Fun In 2011? When I thought about this question, I started to list specific events that I had enjoyed throughout the year. It’s always nice to review fond memories, and it’s interesting to note that things that don’t seem fun in the moment can be remembered as fun, and vice versa. […]

“Expect the universe to support your dream. It will.” The Artist’s Way, pg. 119 “The Great Tao extends everywhere. All things depend on it for growth, and it does not deny them.” Tao Te Ching #34 (from Thinking Body, Dancing Mind) Perfectionism is also a big focus of this chapter. It’s something I’m trying to let go […]

Chapter six, Recovering a Sense of Possibility, was all about learning what we want and how we limit ourselves. I found it the most interesting and approachable chapter thus far. The Basics Morning Pages: 7/7 Artist’s Date: Super hard this week; I could not relax and I did not feel terribly creative. I finally just […]

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson I still find this exercise difficult: I end every week wondering just what I did that might help me move forward. It’s hard to remember that seeds are often tiny things; hopefully they’ll grow into […]

I spent this week trying to recover a sense of integrity, or trying to discover what genuinely interests me. The exercises seemed geared toward moving past my assumptions so I could be aware of desires that I’ve ignored. I’m always ready to move on the next chapter at the end of the week, but it’s […]