Concocted by a dear on-line friend of mine, Scott. He deserves the credit (or the blame)...

Even if you don't know the show, the monolog is a hoot by itself.

Steve Smith, aka Red Green, as The Doctor:

I wanna talk to you younger guys about regeneration.

I know you may get tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the same face century after century, and you start thinking to yourself that a little cosmetic regeneration might perk up the old love life.

You go a couple of centuries with the same body and it starts to kinda sag in places where it’s not supposed to, and it’s kinda hard in some places that it’s not.

But trust me, there’s gonna come a time when you’re nose to eyepiece with an Imperial Dalek or two, and all you’ve got is a hockey stick and a roll of duct tape that you’re gonna want that extra life.

Just because the cute little Time Lady across the way kinda sniffed you over doesn’t mean you’ve got to put on a whole new face for her. And who knows, when your personality changes completely, you may not be so interested in her.

Having an old body builds character. The aches and pains just may prevent you from walking up to a Cyberman and telling him to go plug himself.

So trust me, stick with old and crafty. It helps the bad guys underestimate you.