Joined: 29 Mar 2005Posts: 171Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 1:40 am Post subject:

Author's Note:

This originally began as yet another rewrite of my former series To the Last Man, but after a HELL of a lot of revision, it simply became something entirely different. Hence, this. I started work on it on Monday, and since I wanted to have something finished by Thursday, I had to split the chapter into two parts, the first scene and the one following that. That's why this submission is so short (actually, even with me trying to fluff it up, it's still on the anemic side)._________________When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I liked your most recent piece and heard about this one through your post. Without further ado...

Obviously not a huge amount to comment on. I enjoyed the flashback/dream introduction. It was well done and a slick way to introduce us to the main character; shows us he is an experienced soldier haunted by his past, all the while giving us subtle clues as to his backstory. Very nice.

The rest was pretty short and straight-forward. Again, very good, brief exposition handled in a slick manner. Without saying too much, you informed us of the two character's personalities as well as their relationship.

GPS wise it was immaculate. My only complaint was the inconsistent use of double spacing.