As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. — Genesis 50:20 NASB

For those who do not know, I have served in KidMin, Children’s Ministry, since 1991. I have also been speaking and teaching at Conferences for the past 15 years.

The Lord put it upon my heart to put together a workshop titled “When Your Life Is Interrupted” There are many interruptions the Lord allows in our lives: job change, a move to a new part of town, a move out of town, prodigal child issue, health scare etc. So when creating this workshop I knew I’d be testing the waters in regards to sharing about my spiritual abuse. I did not go into detail. I did not name my former church or former pastor.

I did know there are others out there suffering in silence as I did for 7 years.

If I could help them respond to their interruption, whatever it may be, in a way that pleases Christ, it would be considered a win for the day. I learned much by going through and devouring the book by Debbie Alsdorf, “A Woman Who Trusts God.”

I have learned that we cannot control our circumstance, but we can control our RESPONSE to it.

Whatever is happening to us, it’s so God can work something in us.

Acknowledge that this “thing” is a test – testing what you believe, not how you behave. This test was ordained just for you by the God who knows what you need.

The situation does not have to change for you to find peace, but your reaction to it changes when you have faith.

As per the video, when Daniel stopped me after my last workshop, I did not know what to think. But as soon as he shared he had sat in one of my workshops about 5 years ago, I knew exactly what he meant.

Five years ago, I was right smack in the middle of my abuse. I was frustrated. I was confused about my Pastor who was supposed to be a positive example to me. My frustration spilled over into my teaching. I was in need of a shepherd that cared for the flock. Instead I was under a shepherd that manipulated. Spiritual Abuse is soooooo subtle and the effects so real! I agree that I was aggressive in my opinions back then. I understand why…now. I was trying to navigate through the hypocrisy of my leader.

The Lord has used this unfortunate circumstance to help me sand off the rough edges of my personality. I am more empathetic and I can relate on a deeper level to people’s pain. The Lord has used evil for good.

What ever state you are in currently as you deal with Spiritual Abuse, God is still on the throne and He has a plan. You may not see it clearly right now. But our God is faithful to complete the work He started in you.

There are many worship songs on Christian radio today, but this one by Danny Gokey ministered deep to me personally. In bold are the words that spoke volumes to me.

“Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”

You’re shattered Like you’ve never been before The life you knew In a thousand pieces on the floor And words fall short in times like these When this world drives you to your knees You think you’re never gonna get back To the you that used to beTell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall awayStep into the light of graceYesterday’s a closing doorYou don’t live there anymoreSay goodbye to where you’ve beenAnd tell your heart to beat againBeginning Just let that word wash over you It’s alright now Love’s healing hands have pulled you through So get back up, take step one Leave the darkness, feel the sun Cause your story’s far from over And your journey’s just begunTell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall away Step into the light of grace Yesterday’s a closing door You don’t live there anymore Say goodbye to where you’ve been And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak And every scar Be a picture that reminds you Who has carried you this far ‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could In this moment heaven’s working Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall away Step into the light of grace Yesterday’s a closing door You don’t live there anymore Say goodbye to where you’ve been And tell your heart to beat again Your heart to beat again Beat again