This is a slave's daily account of a 24/7 BDSM relationship. If you are easily offended by sexual or kinky topics, this journal is NOT for you, please refrain from reading. Should you decide to proceed, my hope is that you thoroughly enjoy yourself and feel free to leave comments.

Biz Page

On Being A "Professional" Master/slave

We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.

About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!

Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.

About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.

My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.

Banners here also!

Monday, December 31, 2012

Do you prefer stockings (or) pantyhose?

Hi! Thanks for the question! This is one of my favorite topics! =)

Before i met Master i wore primarily tights and some pantyhose. When He first took ownership of me and began my clothing and girdle training, He began with a long legged, high waisted, panty girdle. i wore panty hose under those for many years until my training took me to where i am now.

Now i wear only stockings with an all in one open-bottom girdle, with a regular bra underneath for extra support and i couldn't be happier! i just love the look, feel and convenience of stockings. Some might be shaking their heads thinking "convenience"?? but yes!! really i do mean convenience! There are no pants to mess with, no panties to deal with and there is always the clean, put-together look of hosiery. If one stocking runs, i don't have an entire pair of pantyhose to toss in the trash, i can simply find another match in my spares!

The only time i wear pantyhose now is if we're working in very cold weather for extra warmth so they certainly have their place for me, but there's really no contest. i love stockings! =)

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Okay. So maybe your BDSM lifestyle is
more extensive that I realized. However if that's what makes you happy.
Who cares what people think. My point is that as those relationships go
yours is not all that kinky.

i am completely okay with that, as Master and i detest the word "kinky".

i can only speak for myself and as i don't consider myself "kinky" i simply consider our relationship to be what it is, if some want to call it kinky, fine. If others want to call it vanilla that's fine too, we just call it "us".

That being said, what do you consider a kinky relationship? i mean a real livable life with the ups and downs of actual life. Considering aging parents that need to be cared for, jobs that need to be worked, bills that need paid, animals that need cared for, children that must be cared for (if the couple has them), homes that must be kept up, illnesses that must be tended to or doctor appointments. i am not talking about what Master so eloquently spoke of "a play party". i am speaking of a real life.

i am of the opinion that Master has weighed our lifestyle and there is nothing "vanilla" if you will, about it. The Master/slave element is ever-present no matter where we are, who we're with or what we're doing. Even if we're apart for hours, days or weeks at a time. (When i was caring for my dying Mom).

i will say one last thing. This blog has always been one thing, the truth. Our relationship is what it is. i just write because Master told me eleven years ago when we got together that i would write every day. Then eight years ago, i brought it on line and He told me i would write at least twice a week. This blog is simply our life. i love my readers, i love the fact that i have made friends and met some pretty amazing people and i love how people like yourself challenge me. However, i won't make crap up just because you may not think we're kinky enough. If you don't think we're kinky, then.. um... okay? =)

Last night Master decided that i would sleep leashed to the bed in addition to the normal ankle cuffs, chains and wrist cuffs. So i hadn't been turned loose when i began writing this post as of about 2pm today. i just asked if i could go use the rest room and take care of the bird. He said i could do those two things but denied a coffee run. Once i was yet again tethered to the bed, He said "bend over the bed, I'm going to fuck you now." The leash He uses is only 6 feet long and once it's wrapped around the center of headboard of a king size bed i only have a very short distance to work with.

i did as i was instructed and while He stepped away for a short time, i set my glasses on the bed somewhere.... because i knew He would be taking my hands from me at some point and using the wrist cuffs to immobilize me and i'll end up flat on my face. =) As soon as He came back today there was no ceremony, He ordered me up on my knees, He was already hard and inside me before i knew it. Very soon He pulls my wrists out from under me, as i thought He might and attaches the cuffs with a double snap hook. While i'm flat on my face Master is pounding me from behind and decides that He'll change His point of entry and i hear Him grab the lube. It's been a long time since Master has used me that way and while it always feels good, it's that hurts so good, feeling.

Once Master was satisfied He offered me a towel and told me to roll over. i couldn't imagine how in the heck i was going to do that! With my hands cuffed behind me, my ankles cuffed and the leash stretched to it's limit, all the while trying to hold a towel between my legs. i tried for a moment to roll over and Master had a good chuckle. He took pity on me quickly and unhooked the snap hooks and gave me my hands back.

Master left me on my own still leashed to the bed with of course the understanding that i was to remain where i was. i immediately remembered that i had set my glasses "somewhere" in a rush and now had no idea where they were. Master was in the shower and i couldn't sit because what if i sat on them? So now, i'm sort of stuck! lol! i have to stay kneeling on the bed, keeping the towel that He's given me between my legs, scooting around the bed, "looking" for my glasses by feel only. So i'm very carefully picking up blankets a tiny bit at a time, feeling around, hoping that each little shiny thing might be my glasses. To no avail. i do this for a long time, like a longgggg time. Ten minutes at least. Then i think maybe, just maybe, Master might have seen my glasses sitting on the bed and picked them up and set them on the bed side table. i turned around, felt on the table and there they were. Heh. All that time and they were right where they were supposed to be all the time. Oops. =p

i sort of wish i had some video just to watch me scoot around on the bed while i was blindly searching for my glasses while Master was in the shower. hehe!

You're concerned about
master's parents. A little bondage, an occasional spanking and some oral
sex. That's about as vanilla as it gets. What are you worried about?

Thanks for your interest.

If i'm honest i'll say that your question was a bit off putting at first but once i slept on it i was able to see that you clearly aren't familiar with our relationship. It's an easy mistake to make as an on line blog is really a snippet of what goes on in a 24 hour lifestyle.

i am more than a little guilty of not sitting down and writing about every single exchange that goes on between Master and i but i do believe that there is much to learn about our relationship from the inside out. Some bloggers have a talent, in that they are capable of grabbing one liners from their owners throughout each day and turning it into wonderful blog posts that give their readers more in depth looks at their relationships, i am working on doing that as well.

Master has told me many times that the topics i write about are far too bland by definition. However, when we started the blog He didn't want to set any parameters and wanted me to feel a certain sense of freedom regarding the topics i wrote about. There was to be no difference in this blog and the journals i was using before. i was supposed to feel free to write anything and everything and feel no fear of reprisal from Him at all.

i may have gotten off topic there a bit but my point being, i know i haven't included as much of our BDSM, M/s, TPE life as my readers deserve and need to get a good picture of our true life. That being said, i would like to include something Master mentioned while He was reading what i was writing.

It's
about respect. Master doesn't give two hoots about anyone finding out
how we live our lives, but he'd prefer that his parents don't find out
because it would bother them. He would prefer to spare them the trouble,
whether he agrees with their beliefs or not.

Below are questions that Master posed to me after i brought this question to His attention;

Is having a collar locked on you 24 hours a day, every single day of your life vanilla?Is wearing ankle chains more often than not and sleeping cuffed and chained every single night of your life vanilla?

Is having bits of chain, random cuffs and padlocks lying all over your house at any given moment vanilla?Is
not being allowed to see, eat, speak, pee, poop, sleep, watch TV or
anything imaginable without permission every single time vanilla?Is having a big, locking wooden box with a seat in it, taking up a chunk of the den vanilla?

If
those things are vanilla, then i'm proud to be vanilla. This is real
life, not a play party. i won't apologize for not being up on a cross 12
hours a day or being hogtied to sleep every night.

i thank you for your question and your interest in our life. You are more than welcome to clarify your question, if i've taken it the wrong way.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Yesterday was a good but busy day, we had our first snow fall of the season so we were sure happy to stay home yesterday. i mentioned that it was the first day that Master and i had been spend time at home. Master's brother had been here with his family and that meant taking Master's Mom out of the nursing home every day and having her at their house. While it was nice for her to be able to see her children and a couple of her grandchildren it was sort of an intense few days.

Once Master's brother packed up and went home Master and i had to take His Mom out of town to a doctor appointment and that turned into an all day ordeal. i'm happy we went, we got some much needed questions answered so it was a good day. The bad thing about being on the go with activities that aren't in your normal schedule is that the things you typically do are completely tossed to the way-side and chaos ensues. So while Master and i had the day to ourselves yesterday, it seemed as though we wanted to do everything all at once. At least that's how i felt and i think He must have had some of that too because we both worked like little elves trying to get ready for Christmas.

Master and i spent nearly the entire day in the kitchen. We started around 10:30am and i think we finally headed downstairs with supper at 8pm. Each one of us may have taken 10 minutes or so here and there to sit but we pretty much cooked/baked non-stop the entire day. Master was in charge of the projects yesterday as they were all His ideas, i was just Santa's helper. =)

The first thing on the menus was supper and that was all Master! The more i've been working, the more Master is trying His hand at meal planning. He's really been wanting to try this new chili out and it seems like each new meal He tries, i love it and He is only "so-so" about it! Well last night's chili was incredible. It was called Chicken and Corn Chili. It's a crock pot recipe and it was flippin' amazing seriously!

As we all know, Master's Mom isn't going to be doing any of her regular baking this year so we're missing her sugar cookies! Well, instead of missing them, we're going to make them ourselves! =) i have to admit the memory is a crazy thing. When i was in the shower thinking about baking the cookies and knowing i've never actually made them myself, i was able to recall the actual recipe on my own. i of course didn't know the amounts, but i knew every single ingredient as well as every step along the way. For me, who scarcely remembers to shut the water off when getting out of the shower, i was glad to know that there are some things that never leave you. Again, Master was mainly in charge of the mixing and such, i was just the little gopher. i sort of steered Him in the right direction on one occasion or two. Once we were all mixed up, the dough went into the fridge and we're all set today to do our baking. We don't have quite as many cut outs as i wish we did, but we'll make do! =)

The last thing on the agenda were homemade pizza rolls that we made using egg roll wrappers. Now you can get as creative as you want with these wrappers but because we just wanted to get them done and in the freezer, we were quick about it this time. In the first batch He used turkey pepperoni, chopped. About 2/3 of a can of black olives, chopped. Tomato sauce that He doctored up Himself to taste like a better than store bought pizza sauce and small amount of mozzarella cheese. The only thing that takes any time at all is wrapping these little suckers up. Once you've got the hang of it, they go pretty fast. You can literally put anything at all inside of them. The next one we did was just some elbow macaroni and spaghetti sauce with a little bit of cheese, Master added some Italian seasoning to that too and it was pretty incredible. Once we had them finished, we tossed them in a container with waxed paper between them to let them freeze up. Now that they are totally frozen, i'll steal my container back and just put them in freezer bags, label them and we'll have them for appetizers, snacks or a meal if we like.

Once we were finished in the kitchen and i was nearly about to pass out, it was time to eat that wonderful smelling chili that had been tempting me all day. It was perfectly done and although it was called chili many people said they were eating it with chips, so that's what we did! i loved it! =)

Now here's where Master's took some liberties: He added about 1/3 a can of sliced ripe olives, one 15oz can of black beans (because we like them!).

Directions:
1. Place chicken and salsa in the slow cooker the night before you want to eat this chili. Season with garlic powder,, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. Cook 6-8 hours on low setting.
2. About 3-4 hours before you want to eat, shred the chicken with 2 forks. Return the meat to the pot and continue cooking.
3. Stir the corn and the pinto beans into the slow cooker. Simmer until ready to serve.

Hi and thank you for the question. i am sorry for the delay in my answer, this is the first day Master and i have been home in many days.

i'll just say that it might appear that Master is interested in my bathroom activities as He does take control of when and where i use the restroom. As a rule, that's really not the case. The real reason Master has me ask to use the bathroom at all is merely to take control of yet another area of my life. The only reason He ever asks what sort of relief i've had when using the bathroom is if i've had some sort of medical issue. Otherwise, when i ask to go, He gives His permission and i'm off on my own until i'm finished.

i'm not permitted any privacy so if Master needs something in the bathroom that i'm using, He'll walk in and do whatever He needs to do. In the Master bathroom if one opens the door wide enough, someone can sit on the bed and have a conversation with another person. There have been times that Master will do that with me if we have something to discuss. However, He doesn't focus on me using the bathroom, it's again, a way to kill two birds with one stone, if you will. Like chatting with someone while they are in the tub or shower.

Suffice it to say Master doesn't have a toilet or potty fetish. What He does have is a control fetish. =) So like nearly everything in our relationship, this is yet one more thing that is about Him having complete control over me. =)

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Master's family is getting together this weekend so we're spending the weekend pretty much away from home where our lifestyle is in stealth mode. There are two main things that are difficult for me to maintain while we're out. When to eat and when i'm able to use the loo. It's easy to go fill a plate while everyone else does but once i'm seated i have to wait for the touch of a hand, the smile, Him to hand me a chip, anything to let me know it's okay to go ahead and eat. We certainly have a pattern with meal time but i can't just walk up to a tray of cookies and help myself and that's not a problem. When it can become uncomfortable is when someone says "here try this". In most cases, i think He'd rather i just try whatever it is and tell Him about it when i see Him. Even if He's only in the next room, it's better to just go with the flow.

Using the bathroom isn't quite so easy to be subtle about. i think as with any of the rules, as long as i make a sincere effort to follow them while we're in a public setting, He's not going to be too terribly upset about each honest effort.

There is a part of me that wishes we weren't hiding anything at all. Master's family aren't the type of people that could even begin to accept who we are. i'm not saying my family would be all that more accepting either but it's fairly obvious that at very least His brother and clan would have nothing at all do with us.

In some ways we are "out there", hiding in plain site, if you will. i wear Master's collar everywhere. i wear a fairly good sized BDSM symbol on a necklace pendant and i wear my slave ring every single day. With a very tiny bit of surfing, that symbol is easy to find. We're also not shy at all about letting people know that we're firm believers that the Man is the Head of the household and should have the final say in decisions. i actually welcome those type of questions.

So while i say we're in stealth mode while we're around Master's family, i wonder if i should retract that statement. Are we ever in stealth mode or am i kidding myself? Hmmm. How about this? Pseudo Stealth? hehehe

i better get ready to go, i hope everyone is having a nice Sunday afternoon!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

You asked what is kinky. Most slaves drink their masters urine. That's pretty kinky. Do you do that?

Hi and thank you for the question!

i think whether something is kinky or not is how comfortable you are with the activity. Looking at things from that angle, it's harder for me to see one thing or another to be kinky. i'm not rather uncomfortable with something that someone else might look at as being slightly extreme or foreign to them.

So don't i don't think it's wrong to think things are kinky or fetishy or extreme. It's just a little harder to identify things in my life when i'm asked "what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?". i like to be super honest and give a good clear concise answer and sometimes i'm not very good at saying "this or that is THE KINKIEST thing i've ever done! =)

To answer your question:

As a statement, i'm not sure that i would agree that most slaves drink their Master's urine, i'm sure some do as i've read blogs where slaves are performing the activity. i'm just not sure i would go so far as to say that most slaves drink their Master's urine. That's just a matter of opinion though. =)

As for me, i can't say i've ever sat down with an ice cold glass and said "Down the Hatch!"! =) However, there have been countless times Master has had me kneel at the side of the commode while He relieves Himself and i act as His cleaner-offer. =) There are also times where He'll have me kneel in the shower and tell me to close my eyes, open my mouth very wide and he'll use my mouth as a receptacle for His morning urine. i'm not required to drink the entire load but i can't just spit and spit however. So yes, i certainly have ingested His urine on many occasions.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

One question i have the hardest time answering is "what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?". Similarly "what sort of kink are you into?". i have a very hard time defining kinky in my life. Everything that we do has just melded into our life. i can't seem to compartmentalize what some people might look at as "normal" or "kink" because our whole life is lived as an M/s couple so i can't pick and choose this bit or that bit as being kinky.

Washing dishes, doing laundry, whatever else i might do around the house, with my ankles in chains, to me, has become quite normal or standard operating procedure. Asking to use the bathroom or to eat or stopping on a dime to give a blow job when He wants one. i'm actually struggling to come up with things to type because i'm not sure even these things are "kinky". Maybe to someone who isn't in the lifestyle they are but to anyone who is reading this they must seem, again, SOP.

It gives me the warm fuzzies to think about kitty at the sub-mission in her kitty ears and tail, dressed for her Master. i still don't think anything about that is "kinky" i think that's her and the way she lives.

i can think of lots of other examples of other slaves who do things for their Master's regularly like Bre at Owned Collared Loved, who is called "property" instead of any other name. That doesn't seem kinky to me, that's who they are.

If you're to think about it, can you come up with something that is truly "kinky" or like me, when asked, do you just feel like it's not really kinky exactly it's simply how you and your Master/Mistress live your life?

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Yesterday i was helping Master in the garage, and He was giving me little jobs, doing busy work. i asked Him if He would put the Mp3 player on as He almost always does when we're working. So He went in and got it and not too long after He had it going, a Bruce Springsteen song came on. Music is a huge part of our relationship, we love to talk about it, we love to make up funny songs and we're always open to new artists no matter what genre. So Master knows that i'm just not big into "The Boss" and although the song that was on was from his best album Master asked me if i liked the song and i was like "ehhh". Master was baffled because it was off of Born in the USA. Anyway, Master said to me, "well, you like it now, congratulations!". i said "sweet thank You Master!".

i kid you not as soon as He said that my attitude changed about the song. i am not all of a sudden the biggest Springsteen fan who ever lived, mind you. But i softened to the tune and gave it a real listen. For no other reason than it was important to my Owner. There was a good 3 minutes left of the song when Master declared me a fan of the song, so i had a while to stew on my new found friendship with The Boss. The song dragged on so i wasn't upset when it ended, but i certainly wasn't as annoyed as i once would have been. It's funny what you can do when you do it for The One you love when given a bit of "guidance" haha. =)

Sunday, December 02, 2012

i like being leashed. i don't have any idea why or where it started. i suppose i haven't put a whole lot of thought into it but we have lots of leashes because every once in a while i'll see a cute one and Master will pick it up. It must just be more about control, being tethered to Him and His will.

i am sitting here listening to Him snooze all the while, being tethered to His bed via a short 6' pink leather leash. This particular leash is always on the bed post and He'll just randomly reach over and hook it on to the collar at His whim. So tonight, i was taking a nap and He came in and joined me. Before Master fell asleep, He reached over and hooked me up to the leash. He didn't say anything, He didn't have to but it's understood. Once He places something on me it's there to stay until He takes it off, i ask for it to be removed, or there is an emergency. Like a real one, blood, fire and the like. Not something such as "i dropped my pen and juuuuuuust... couldn't reach it". Yeah no, too bad.

So i woke up from my nap and our kitty, who we love dearly!!! Well.... she's sorta kinda a lil turd to our lil doggy! Master made this tiny little staircase for our dog to get up and down off the bed because he's little and the bed is high and there's really no way he can jump up and down safely. So those stairs are our doggy's only way on or off the bed. The kitty? She knows this and uses it to her delight! As soon as the dog gets down, she gets on the stairs and will.. not.. move! So he's stuck until she moves. Normally i can just go pick her up and put her on the bed and the dog can get up on the bed. Tonight though, my leash was too short to help out. i couldn't even reach down to get the dog and lift him up. i tried everything i could think of but nothing was working. There were just no combination of efforts that was going to make this debacle less stressful on the doggie. The cat? She's was her glory!!! Finally the dog was so tired of crying and whining and carrying on, as soon as he gave up and just sat at my feet, the cat got off the stairs and walked away. It was like something you see on Americas Home Videos.

Sometimes i think our animals must look at Master and i and just not understand why we do the things we do. i just wonder if the dog was thinking, c'mon mommy just bend over here and pick me up! Or if he wonders why sometimes i just stand at the back door and watch him run and bark at the neighbors and other times i run out and grab him and stop him from barking his fool head off. He doesn't know that in the mornings my feet are chained together and i can't run out into the yard but as soon as i'm dressed he's all mine! =)

Tomorrow i am going to the doctor, i'm having very weird coughing fits, so i'm going to get them checked out! They have been going on too long and well, it's time! i don't like my nurse though, which is one reason i have been putting it off. Oh well, too bad i guess. =)

Saturday, December 01, 2012

i think i write about this stuff all the time, but it's the little
things that get to me. Last night right before i was getting ready to
go to sleep, Master got out of the shower and He was of course, soaking
wet. He asked me if i would go out to the refrigerator in the garage and
get Him a soda. He wanted me to do it because i was dry and it's
pretty cold outside. Not that He needed a reason to ask me or tell me
to do something, but sometimes He offers an explanation out of kindness
or courtesy.

Anyway, i said of course i would run out
and grab His soda but i believe i was finishing my snack and there was
no hurry, because He didn't want it right then. With me though not
doing something i'm told to do right away is just asking for trouble. i
will most certainly forget. i have a memory for "to do" lists and
routine things. What i can't remember are arbitrary items that are
thrown at me on a whim. Those are the things i have to do immediately
or i will most certainly forget.

So, of course i
forgot the soda. When Master came to bed that night i was asleep and He
said a few things but nothing about His soda so i didn't know at that
time i had forgotten to bring one in the house. What bothers me the
most about the whole incident is how i remembered. i didn't remember
His soda until i thought about soda for myself.

i sat
down immediately and wrote Master a short but very sincere apology
note. i apologized, naturally but added, "every day i find ways i'm not
as thoughtful as i hope to be". It was upsetting to find that i didn't
think about Him until i thought about myself and my own needs first.

You
know i know i will never be perfect, i know i need to think about
myself and my own needs. i just wish that thinking about Him and His
wants and needs first, before anything at all, was more than second
nature by now. i wish it was just "me", i mean after all this time, it
should be, shouldn't it? i suppose in most cases and about most things
it is. But then i go and do things like this and i know these things
will never end. i will never stop being human and i will never stop
making mistakes. Mistakes i can live with, i just wish they weren't
self-centered ones.

Well that's it for me for
tonight, i've been trying to get this post written for a couple days now
and i'm finally getting it posted! yay me! haha!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Today is the first day Master and i have spent the day at home for quite a while. It's been great to be able to just "be home"! i know it won't last and life will catch up with us but for today i can relax and enjoy a slow Sunday.

i don't have a ton to write about today really. i guess we always fall into our routine and although He's constantly saying or doing something that may be remarkable, i forget to "remember" it as something to write about. At the time i might think oh that's something to write about and then it's gone sooner than i might be able to reach for a pen.

Today Master has me dressed very simply with a belled ankle cuff and lock. No wrist cuffs or chain yet, that will come later, around our supper time and we eat late. Those things, even though the bells couldn't be louder, or more prominent on my body they slip my mind. It's just like the wedding ring on your finger or nose on your face, it's something one gets used to after time.

i remember the first time Master placed His collar around my neck at our collaring ceremony. i said something like there was no way i could ever forget it was there because it was so big and bulky. HA! Not too many months after that i walked into the local convenience store with it on!

If i'm going to be at all productive today i better get moving!

i hope everyone was able to spend some great family time this past weekend!

Friday, November 23, 2012

i hope everyone had a nice day yesterday. Master and i spent Wednesday night cooking and it was pretty fun. Master seriously chipped in and made His dish that He was taking as well as more than half our supper for the night. i peeled potatoes for hours and made a couple of other side dishes. i know i did way too many potatoes but i only did as many as Master's Mom did and we wanted to have plenty of left overs. Well we accomplished that! Once we finished cooking we watched a movie! The Big Miracle and i thought there was no way i could stay awake from cleaning all day at His Mom's house and then cooking. But the movie was spectacular! However after the movie was over Master poured me into bed and i was out like a light!

We had a nice day yesterday and i think Master's Mom had a good day as well. She was talking well and only started to have some pain late in the day when she got tired. Master's sister already had most of her Christmas decorations up on purpose. She wanted her Mom to see the house all done up and pretty for the holidays in case she wasn't back out there for Christmas and it did look great.

This weekend we're spending part of our time decorating Master's parents house for Christmas. Even though His Mom is in the nursing home, she'll be at the house for some celebrations and we want the house to look just like it would if she were home. Now that the house is all clean and shiny we can make a mess of it again with decorations! =)

Today Master and i are going to fight the hustle and bustle of the crowds at least for a while. It's a tradition for us to go out and just be a part of the shopping experience for the day. We're never after the deals or anything.

i just wanted to pop on here and wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from Master and i!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The other day i was getting ready to work and Master came in and started to tell me a story. i am a good multi-tasker when it comes to getting ready because i never just do my hair or get dressed. i always throw in other things like feeding animals, laundry or doing the dishes. To me that's all part of getting myself ready for the day. So getting ready for the day is really just mind numbing and i can do lots of things at once. It's my fault for thinking outloud while i do it, however.

While Master was beginning His story, i marched right past Him and continued with my preparations and while talking to myself i said, something about not being able to find a comb that's always on the bathroom counter. i had no intention of derailing His story as i wasn't even addressing Him, i did in fact interrupt Him while my ridiculous chatter. Master's story was rudely interrupted and although i immediately apologized it was too late. i was self involved, my thing was more important.

That's all it takes though to show how selfish i can be sometimes. i try really hard to think about Him in all things and sometimes i think i do pretty well. Other times, not so much. my routines are when i'm the worst i think, i get stuck in a rut. It's not enough to be doing something FOR Him. Does that excuse being THERE for Him? i don't think so. Just because i'm making His favorite dinner, does that outrank being there for Him if He called me to come to His side?

Just being aware of Him should seem so easy and sometimes that's the hardest thing. Listening, knowing where He is, what He's doing and thinking about what He might want from me. i'm not as aware as i wish i was, that's for sure.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Quite some time ago Master was looking for the little gold locks that He uses on the leather wrist and ankle cuffs. We call them 34 and 35 as each pair of His locks are numbered. One of the pair were missing and it's not the 3rd 4th or even 100th time the locks have been misplaced.

The leather cuffs and locks are used often and it's one of the most frustrating things when we have little bins and designated places for these things. So when He goes to find them, He should be able to just put His hand right on them. This one night He was gather the 4 locks, the 4 cuffs and ... fury ensued.

The next day i got an email with a new rule in place, from now and until further notice i will follow these instructions;

"Effective immediately, before you eat supper, you will chain your
ankles. You have two options...you can use just the chain, which is less
comfortable but gives a longer stride, or you can use the cuffs (black
or pink) with the chain doubled, which is more comfortable but allows a
shorter stride. Either way is acceptable to me, but choose wisely
because it stays on until your shower unless special circumstances
dictate otherwise. When supper is over, the
wrist cuffs immediately go on with the pink chain (for now), so make
sure you don't have any chores left that can't be done in chains. This
is a permanent new rule, but IF we have to get up early the next day,
you may ask
what I want to do."

In the past month i have forgotten the after supper cuffs a few times and had to be reminded. Master also removes the pink wrist chain quite often for sleeping. If i do sleep in the pink wrist chain sometimes He'll randomly wake me in the middle of the night and remove it on a whim. Other times, He won't and i'll stay in both chains all night. It's completely dependent on His mood and desires of the day or night as the case may be.

i just looked at the date of the email, it's been a month. i got the email on October 15th and there was an adjustment period. i wish i could honestly say that i'm so pliable that i jump into new rules with both feet first all smiles and it depends, sometimes i do. This time i had a hard time with the wrist chain but i have adjusted and even though i had no choice, i have gotten used to wearing it each night.

Master isn't an evil Man and doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. It's more about me knowing i have no choice in the matter. i will wear His chains when and where He says i will wear them and for whatever time frame He desires. That's really what it boils down to is having no choice in the matter. Master and i just had this conversation the other night, about "no choice". It's not really about submitting to His will it's about having your choices taken away.

It's fairly amazing to look at a woman who once entered into a relationship under her own freewill who then proceeded to chop up all of her rights into little bits and toss them into the air like confetti!! Because to her it was a true celebration! Giving up all the control and responsibility that weighed her down, she was truly free under His control.

If i had only known then what i know now and even each time after He makes a new rule. i wish i were more pliable i wish i could just be more of a follower. Perhaps i need that strength for the other struggles in my life, like the pain i deal with. i only wish i could compartmentalize it, there must be a good way to do that.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The other day Master took me out for my birthday. We had a really great day and He put a lot of thought into the entire day. i wasn't allowed to know the plan for the day, the only thing He told me was the name of the town. i was only familiar with the name and perhaps i'd been there once before, so it was all new and fun.

Master had printed maps and names of places He wanted to go but as always we got a little bit of a late start, but not too bad. We did some shopping as always and one thing we did was take back a pair shoes that i thought i had fallen in love with. Turned out when i walked in them, they made a vacuum noise and rubbed my foot so badly i couldn't wear them. Master said it sounded like i was farting every time i took a step! Okay then, those needed to go back! So that was $30 back in our pockets... hmmm what to do with that windfall? More shoes of course! We found this huge clearance sale at JC Penneys and ended up getting 3 pair for $16. Super cute shoes too!!! =)

i of course can't remember everything that we did all day but one thing i certainly remember was the fact that i went back to the car for a pen at the store and yet AGAIN left a door unlocked. This time it could have been really bad we were in an unfamiliar town and had valuables, some of which were completely irreplaceable. For example our precious teddy bear and crew who i stopped taking with us but on special occasions i haul them along. If something ever happened to them i would be devastated. It's inexplicable but i really love these little guys a lot and so does Master. Needless to say, i was in trouble... again for leaving a door unlocked. Big trouble this time this was way worse than the front door. We live in a really sleepy town and it's very safe but like i said out and about in your car, is way different.

i was meant to have my birthday spanking when we got home anyway... 44 swats even! ACK! Master was still pretty miffed about the car thing so i was expecting something in the way of a punishment i just wasn't sure. i thought the spanking just might be worse or something. So He set up the camera and delivered my spanking (that i did not accept gracefully) i am such a baby! i even have marks to prove that He gave me a nice spanking! Once i was given the 44 Master told me that i knew what i had done and seeing that i was already a mess, i would hold still. The last five would very hard and very fast! Those are the worst for me and really i know i got off lightly. i was already a slobbering snotty mess, so what's five more? He told me in the very beginning, if i lifted off the pillows or raised up at all, He was going to start over..... So i was sure not to move an inch. Master finished off with those five horrible swats and as anyone could have predicted i was undone by them but i know i deserved them.

Once the spanking was over He stood me up and took off the gag that He had placed on me to start. The gag was so tight that the pillow i had been leaning on was completely soaked through with my spit and slobber. i couldn't even begin to think about closing my mouth or swallowing. Once the gag came off, He told me to kneel and thank Him for the spanking. OH!!! That is soooo hard for me! i did as i was told and once i was able to wrap my head around how really serious it all could have been i was thankful for the scolding, i really was. i just couldn't imagine disappointing Him so much or losing our valuables. i sucked His cock and brought Him to orgasm and the whole day ended really well.

Master planned a terrific day and we even left the casino ahead money! Crazy times at that, who does that!?!? i just need to learn to lock the stinking doors! =)

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Every once in a while someone will ask a question in the comments section or in an email and it's such a good topic that i steal it for a blog post. The following question is one such question:

Q: If this isn't too personal a question (please feel free to ignore me
totally if it is!), I'd like to ask if you ever get off when you have
sex.

I read your blog often and love your dynamic with your
master. It seems like you give him a lot of blow jobs and more rarely
have sex. You'd don't ever describe that you personally orgasm. Is this
this the case?

A: The short answer is "no" i don't orgasm during sex. That's not in my make up i'm just not built that way.

The longer answer is, just because i don't orgasm while we're having sex doesn't mean i don't get a turn. If Master decides that i'm going to cum also then He starts with me, always. Once Master has decided that i'm going to have an orgasm then nothing will stop Him from making that happen. Although it's not always very easy, it's not that i don't love sex, it just takes me a while to get to my happy place. So as i've mentioned before and as Master will freely admit, He's not the most patient Man. If it's going to be a "me" night it's more than likely going to be on a night when He's feeling very patient.

You are quite right, Master gets lots of blow jobs, it's just the way our relationship works. It doesn't mean that i don't get sex, Master allows me to use different toys when i'm hurting. i am never allowed to cum without permission but i do get to cum, it's just at His discretion.

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Master and i celebrated our Anniversary last night by going out to dinner to a casino in the middle of no where. It's somewhere we'd never been before but have wanted to try for a while. As it turns out, if you go to this place during your birth month you get a free meal, so as my birthday is in November, score! We had a lovely meal and it was fairly inexpensive for the two of us to eat! =)

Master and i also celebrated our Anniversary on our Anniversary, very very late at night right before it was time to go to sleep. Master got into bed and got under the covers and He never gets under the covers, He sleeps on top where it's cooler. So i knew we were going to be *celebrating*! =) At one point we were kissing and it was pretty vanilla sex... as vanilla as sex ever is for us. He beat on His pussy for quite some time before we had sex. He didn't care how badly it hurt, He was having quite a bit of fun with my screeches actually. But other than that and the chains on my ankles, it was all pretty vanilla... hmmm okay... there's nothing vanilla about us!

Anyway, omgosh i'm trying to make a point here! hahaha Master was kissing me and kissing my neck and He started sucking my neck and i felt Him sucking and sucking and i thought oh no, a hickey! my first thought was that His Mom would see it and i felt 15 again! When we were done and i was in the bathroom getting us cleaned up the first thing i did was run to the mirror to check out the damage and there was this big purple hickey! i came out of the bathroom and said "i am 43 years old and i. have. a. hickey!" Master was quite proud of Himself! =) i don't care about going out in public, who cares what people think. i just don't want Master's Mom to think i'm trashy. When i told Master this last night He said "You know, she knows we f-*k right?" =p Very funny!

So we had a good time last night and the night before! =)

i hope everyone is having a good weekend. i am also thinking about those who are struggling out east, even though they aren't able to read this, those without power, that is. i've read/seen some terrible things it looks like a war zone. my nephew said that he spoke to a friend in New Jersey, his friend isn't expected to have power until the 9th of November. Peace and blessing to all of you out there, i pray that you have some good food and a warm place to sleep tonight.

Thursday, November 01, 2012

Thank You for making me Yours. Thank You for putting the collar around neck eleven years ago. Thank You for putting the ring on my finger nine years ago today. Through all the ups, through all the downs, i will love You for a thousand years......

Monday, October 29, 2012

That was the date of my very first journal post on this blog! It was the beginning of journey i couldn't even begin to imagine. Since then i've made 767 posts, including this one. When i was writing on paper i was told i had to write every night before bed, when i began writing on the computer, i stopped that and became a bit more relaxed about how many times i was writing.

When my Mom got sick, i think there may have been times when this blog went weeks without a post so that's when Master said that i would at very least write once a week. Now i have to write at least twice a week and i wish i wrote more than that, i really do. my hope is that someday i'll be able to spend a lot more time here!

So after 8 years of blogging, i still love coming here and seeing new friends and old. i adore comments and formspring questions! i write for Master, i always have and i always will. However, knowing that there are folks out there who are walking this journey with us makes writing more enjoyable and exciting.

i would like to say thank you to all of you who have stuck around for so long and to those of you who might pop by in the future, welcome! Pull up a seat and enjoy a cuppa!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

From Formspring: Not a question, just really enjoy your blog.

Hi there! What a terrific thing to say, thanks so much!---

What a wonderful message to wake up to!

Master and i have a lot planned today and as always very little time to squeeze it all into. Tonight we're going out to dinner and we are taking His mom out with us. That's always a difficult task especially when they refuse to use the wheelchair van, they believe that we can transfer her from car to wheelchair/wheelchair to car just as safely as the people from the nursing home. It's simply just not true when they have the training and experience. That's really what it boils down to, experience. Doing it over and over again, you get used to what to expect from the human body and you know how to manipulate people. Family members aren't as confident and that's how people get hurt, usually it's the family members who get hurt, not the patients. But His parents don't want to pay the $40 for the wheelchair van because it's expensive just to drop off and pick up for dinner. So, if we want His mom to go for dinner, we'll transfer her, end of story.

This whole nursing home thing is something that i have always been passionate about. You know most people know one thing really well? So this is my "one thing", there just isn't too much about the ins and outs of nursing homes that i don't know. i might not know all the regulations anymore because i've been out of the game for a while, but i know how they run. i just do, i really really do and when i walk through the door of a nursing home i can sit down and talk to any resident and feel completely comfortable. That's just my gig. So when there's something that Master's Mom or Dad don't understand i feel like i should explain it to them, only they don't listen. Worse yet, they argue and tell me i'm wrong. So this is when i wish Master would tell me to shut my mouth or better still drag me down the hallway by my hair kicking and screaming if He has to just to get me out of the horrid situation. The thing is, Master knows i'm right and He doesn't want me to stop trying to explain things to them He wants me to keep trying to see if i can break through. Sometimes, He DOES tell me to shut up but sometimes i just wish He would play that "Master card" HAHA get it? The Mastercard? ahem... anyway.. and just make me stop for my own good. No damage is ever done to them, they don't care one way or another if i drone on. The damage is done to me. Clearly Master and i care too much and try way, wayyyy too hard. We have to pull back when things go into a tailspin. If they don't want to be helped by us, it's time to stop.

i would qualify the above topic by saying we just want the very very best for them and try hard to help them understand a situation. Most of the time, they'll ask a question and then don't want the answer or argue that the correct answer is wrong. After one or two tries, that's when i need to learn to stop.

If i am completely honest, when Master does pull that "Mastercard" and i am on what i think is a completely legitimate roll, i get really embarrassed, until i'm out of the situation and realize that i should have shut up long before He stopped me.

i'll never understand asking a question about something you do not want the answer. This is for me to work out, not for them. i am very thankful that Master does pull His Mastercard, although sometimes it takes me a while to appreciate it when He does. =)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Master and i went out of town yesterday to get a few things that we had to have. Basically if we need any specialty item, we have to head out of town.

i have had some mending to do but seeing that we were going to head out of town and i thought i might be trying on some clothes, i wanted to be able to wear my best foundation garment. That meant putting thread to needle and putting forth my best effort. i am not a seamstress but i do have common sense so i am able to see the job and i'm "usually" able to figure it out. The only issue is that i do everything by hand so it doesn't look that great. A few years ago Master got me this little handheld deal that does nothing but frustrate me. He would buy me a real machine in a heartbeat but i've just been insisting that i don't want one because it would just sit and gather dust. Each time a sewing job presents itself i find myself wishing i knew how to use a machine, alas i do not.

So because i wear my girdles so often and in reality i am fairly hard on them, i wear them to do anything and everything, the garters get pulled to their limit. They often need mended long before the girdle itself is ready for retirement. The garters get pulled from the elastic band from the bottom of the garment and unless i tack those back up, i can't wear the girdle at all. So it sounds like an easy job to a veteran seamstress i'm sure, but to me, it takes just a bit of moaning and grumbling before it's all done! =)

Anytime we go out of town we try the different Goodwill stores for their rotating stock, as i've mentioned before. Right now i'm really on the hunt for winter dresses and when we first hit that rack we immediately thought that we were totally wasting our time. Then we got into the rack a bit more and found about seven dresses to try. i was pleasantly surprised! It's completely shocking how few dresses there are out there in the department stores. Oh, you can find a dress if you want a satin off the shoulder, above the knee (so short you can almost see the cooch) with sequins all over. The thing is, if you just want to buy an every day dress, those days are nearly over. You have to go to catalogs or really search throughout the malls and stores. They are out there, they are, but they are few and far between and when you DO find them they aren't really affordable. So... i do what i do best, i wait till that person is tired of it and wait for it to pop up at Goodwill! =)

Today we're off to work and then to see Master's Mom in the nursing home. i better hurry off here so we can get to work soon! i hope you're all enjoying your fall weekend!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

To those of you who went along with my petition to bring back Bill, it worked! At least for one more year! i think i have to prove myself to see if i'm going to be allowed to continue to adopt Bill in the future. i don't yet have a picture of Bill as requested, however.

This year Bill is average size but he fits quite well on our front step, i'm very happy that Master decided that i would be allowed another chance. We haven't put out any other decorations so i think He may have taken pity on me! In years past i have the house decorated and the yard looks like i am ready to welcome trick or treaters any day! This year, not so much. It's just a different time in our lives and we're focusing our time elsewhere these days. Priorities certainly change when our families lives change.

Yesterday our neighbor knocked on our front door, we don't normally have people at our door. When she left, i was in a hurry to hop to my next task at hand. She offered us their landscaping bricks that they were leaving behind because they are moving out of state and of course aren't going to lug them half way across the country. We said that we would take them and i was going to finish getting my shoes on so i could help unload them. What i didn't finish doing was locking the front door.

When we got home late that night Master discovered the door unlocked and that it had remained unlocked the entire time we were gone. He told me to bend over the bed and gave me a serious spanking. Like an "I'm not joking" spanking. Even today it still hurts and unfortunately i won't learn a lesson from the spanking. i know it's important and i know i shouldn't leave the door open and it's not something i have done regularly, it's just that i won't learn because i am so forgetful. Even leaving myself notes doesn't help! Ugh. i totally deserved it because He doesn't do stuff like that very often and i felt bad for doing it, i just wish that i could learn from my mistakes. Sometimes i can, other times, i just don't think i can. This is one area i don't think i will learn. i would love to be wrong.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Things have just gotten away from me this week. i'm not sure why or what i just know that i can't keep up. i'm working on a DVD for my brother's 50th birthday and i have almost no time to get it finished and i was counting on some pictures from my niece, so far i've gotten none. If i don't get them tomorrow, the DVD won't be finished.

Last night and again today we went and saw Master's Mom, i think she's talking much better but her physical skills haven't improved much. At least not what we see when we are there. Master's Dad says that she's up and walking with a lot of assistance with the therapist but when we're there, she's never out of the chair and she appears just as immobile as she ever was. Her right hand has no movement at all from what i've seen, all they've talked about is shoulder movement, well, she never lost shoulder movement.

The one notable improvement is her speech. At times it's completely garbled and she says nothing that is identifiable. Other times she is able to be understood and makes complete sentences. i don't know but i think she's showing marked improvements on a consistent basis.

Tonight on the way home Master and i stopped and had a turkey burger. They were yummy but i am the first to admit i have a sweet tooth and lately it's been really really bad. Because we have really been trying to watch what we eat, we've been keeping almost nothing yummy in the house and that's something that's really hard on me. If i can have one cookie after supper or something available when i feel like i want something sweet, i'm am totally satisfied but to go for a while with nothing, it's harder on me. So when we're out and about, Master will stop and get us something sweet occasionally. All during our burger i couldn't help but think of ice cream. i asked Master if we could go to the grocery store and get some to have on hand. Sometimes i really feel bad asking, for lots of reasons.

i know it's an extravagance that i shouldn't just ask for and two, it's indulgent. So because my "sweet tooth" for lack of a better name for it, has been acting up, if you will, i asked. Master said that He would really rather that we wait until we could go somewhere else. It really wasn't at all economical to go to the place we were closest to at the time. i immediately felt bad because just like Master said, sometimes He feels bad telling me no about things. This type of thing is one of them. So the next time we're in a better store, maybe i'll come home with ice cream, maybe i won't. i need to learn to think before asking or better yet, not ask at all and let Him offer.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Today would have been my Mom's 80th birthday. It's hard to believe that she's been gone so long. She died only a few days before her birthday in 2006 and sometimes it seems like i just talked to her and other days i have a hard time remembering her voice.

Her birthday was always a special day for me because as a family we've always loved fall and taken little trips in the fall. i was thinking last night how much i would love to take her to the apple orchard near Monroe WI for the day, that we always went to. It was one of her favorite things to do. We'd drive up the back roads and stop at any random park and haul out paper sacks. Then she'd talk all of us into collecting walnuts that were lying on the ground. Now you'd think that i was talking about us as kids, no no... this was up through adulthood. We didn't do things like this as a family until we were all much older, so we'd all run around like kids and pick up walnuts that we all (including my Mom) knew were going to just sit in those bags in her basement until sometime next spring she'd throw them out. No one cared, she was happy and it didn't hurt anything, maybe it took a couple of nuts away from the squirrels but there were thousands more!

After the nuts were done gathering the nuts =) we would all pile back in the car and go to the apple orchard. We would get apples, cider and my Mom would pick up little pads of paper or tea towels. These are things she couldn't resist. Everywhere you looked in her house there were pretty little pads of paper with bears or apples and baskets on them. You know the pads of paper that cost like $5.95 for 2 pads with a ribbon on them? She stockpiled this stuff for gifts and whatnot. Those gifts actually saved Christmas after she was gone... little did she know how precious they would be, i'll share that story once i'm done with this.

So once she was finished at the apple orchard and she had sufficiently added to her little treasure trove at home. We were ready to go to the next stop, lunch! We always went to the same place, The Swiss Colony! You know those little ready made boxes of sausages and cheese you buy at Christmas time for gifts? Well yeah, same place only this place is a restaurant. They have the most amazing cheese (Wisconsin of course), breads and meats to choose from for your sandwich. The place looks like it's about to fall down and the wood floor creaks like it will hardly stand to hold you but the food is terrific and she'd loved it. Once everyone had a belly full, it was time to head home. Only after, she'd buy things she didn't need from the shop, then we were ready to go. =)

After my Mom passed away the clean up of her house was done in stages. It was also handled very very poorly, but i won't even touch on that, it's a horrible subject. Master and i were in the basement going through the things on the shelves underneath stairs. i opened the doors and while i knew there were going to be some gifts and nice items in there, i had no idea just what we'd find. i set up a card table and the unveiling began! Every time we reached in, we pulled out yet another treasure, a little teacup, a statue, a lovely frame. All in the original box, wrapped in tissue. Some were Christmas related, some were Christmas ornaments, i was just amazed at all the incredible things she had tucked away. i know how her mind worked. She'd see something at a craft fair and think of someone she worked with or of me or my sister and just know that she had to have it to give to us for one occasion or another. Her intentions were pure and i also know that she gave many of her treasures away for these occasions, imagine if she actually kept everything that she purchased.

i looked around the room at the sea of boxes and tissue with all these carefully collected pieces. my card table space long since used up and the floor and nearly every other useable space was taken as well. i looked at Master and asked Him what in world were we going to do with all these items. As it was getting very close to Christmas time, i did the only thing that came to mind. i called the nursing home where i used to work, the nursing home where i watched my Mom take her last breath.

i asked for the activity department and inquired as to their need for Christmas gifts for the residents. The Activity Director wasn't in at the time but the girl said that she was fairly sure they still needed some for this year. To me, it sounded like a good idea, the best idea i had. So Master and i packed up a good portion of the items, not all, but a good portion and took the box to the nursing home. i've made many donations in my life but i will be honest and say that one was the most difficult. It was raw, it was fresh and i knew just how much she loved those things. But that's what they were, things. i knew it was the right thing to do so i dropped the box and walked away feeling good but so very empty.

It wasn't until about a month later when we got a card in the mail from the activity director. That card made all the difference in the world. i knew her as i worked with her before and i knew what kind of a person she was, i could hear the words she wrote in the card. She wrote that those gifts couldn't have come at a better time as their budget was spent and they were out of gifts, completely. She had no idea what else they were going to do for the residents and Master and i showed up only a couple days before Christmas. Mom's gifts allowed them to provide the rest of the residents with beautiful things and i couldn't have been happier or felt better about that donation, once i read that card.

It wasn't what i did or what Master did, Mom bought that stuff, Mom loved to give that type of thing and Mom was the one that saved them. i was just the one who delivered them in the end. She wasn't a hero or saint by any means, not by a long shot, but she really did love to see people happy.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

So.... i was reading a post by Faete at The Sub-Mission and she was talking about carving her pumpkin and i got to thinking about our current stale-mate.

The story:

Every year Master and i get a "punkin fer the porch". We name him "Bill". Every year, Bill. Well, i have a habit of letting Bill sit out too long and Bill gets rotten, he freezes and then Master has to scoop Bill up off the porch sometime in the spring.

However! i have been getting better with taking care of Bill in the last couple years and my track record is improving. This year Master is on the fence about the punkin fer the porch. Every time we pass the pumpkins in the stores or the pumpkin wagons, i look at Master and He just... keeps on walking.

It is waaaaay past time for us to give Bill a home!

If you're in support of me getting a "punkin fer the porch" and for us giving Bill a home for the season, please sign my petition! (leave your name in the comments)

Monday, October 08, 2012

Last night Master chained me to the bed and as usual He said i wasn't able to let myself out unless it was to put the dog outside. i'm not "locked" onto the chain with an actual pad lock but the deal is ... it's a "magic lock" the quick lock only unlocks if the dog has to go potty!!?!! isn't that weird??? =)

So today Master kept me chained to the bed where i was of course able to reach all the necessities. Once i finished my job (Master's blow job) He asked me if i needed to make coffee. i had made the coffee in the middle of the night during one of the many times the dog needed to go outside. All that needed to be done was push the button on the coffee maker. Master said that He was pretty sure He could handle that! He's not a coffee drinker and not at all fond of fiddling with anything kitchen related. So He was off to push coffee buttons while i sat at the computer, chained to the bed.

Pretty soon He's calling from the land of the kitchen, "how many sweetners do you use?" Wow what a treat! Master keeps me locked to bed AND brings me coffee AND takes the dog out on a MONDAY!??! What sort of alternate reality have i entered?

Friday, October 05, 2012

As a slave i have many jobs and i serve Master in many ways. i take
care of His meals, His clothing as i mentioned in a very recent post, i
take care of the cleaning and i do many outside chores as well. Those
are just a few of my "jobs". Of course i help Master at His actual job
at the church and i am an active participant in the videos that we shoot
when we make them. As of late i am a cam girl, so i have many "jobs",
if you will.

Wednesday was Master's birthday, day
out. As is customary for a birthday, we spend the entire day out and we
try to get out of the house early and make an entire day of it.
Yesterday was no exception. It was a long day and by the time we got
home, i was pretty tired. We'd been shopping all day and we'd really
had a great day. One might think that Master would be the one getting
the presents as it was His birthday but most of the shopping and things
being purchased were for me, as always.

When we got
home, Master was due in a few ways for a blow job. Especially for a thank You for all the presents and the wonderful day out! Master was a willing
participant and i was too although i was hurting badly, a bit worse than
normal and He knew it. He was going to give me an out although it's
not what either of us wanted, i want to push past the pain and i know if i
can just get past the first few seconds i'll be okay and the endorphins
will usually take over and pleasing Him is all i can think about.

In
that case it's always mind over matter, almost always. That's how it
worked out and the blow job was a wonderment of success, i pushed past
the pain and now i get to my earlier statement. i have many jobs but as
Master said last night, for the rest of my life my "full time job" is
sucking His cock and making Him cum. It was to please and worship His cock, for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

This year, more than ever, i can't wait to spend our day together! i can't wait to go out, frolic and be fancy! This year more than ever You deserve a day away from it all! It's impossible for me to put into words just how much You deserve a celebration and more than anything, i am celebrating the day You were born!!! The day You were born, i was given the only gift i would ever need, we have much to celebrate if we can only focus on us and the good in our lives.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

i got an email the other day and the topic just struck a cord with me
so i thought i would post it here. i asked this person if they
happened to have a blog, so i could become a follower, the response was
'no i don't have a Master, i have nothing to write about'.

So i
started thinking about other times i've heard this in the past, in more
of a broad spectrum, not just about this one instance and wondered how
many people actually feel as though they just aren't a slave or sub
until they become owned or belong to someone. i know this isn't a new
topic by any means, it's just the first time i've had an opportunity to
really think about it in full.

So many things rushed through
my mind at once but the first thing i thought of was, "Of course you
have something to write about!" they are still a person, a slave or
submissive with thoughts on how they may one day serve his or her
Master. They have dreams and aspirations and what a wonderful way to
show how they might one day serve Him than by journaling and writing
down all their goals. i know as someone who reads blogs i never know
where i'm going to come across that next gem of wisdom. It's most
certainly not always from the slave who has been in the lifestyle for 25
years nor is it always from the novice. You just never know where or
from whom you'll find the best bits of wisdom on any given day.

i'm
not sure what's right or wrong, does the Master make the slave but i
know i was already pretty submissive before i met Master. Should they
have a submissive's soul, he or she would have so much to share about
their daily decisions and how they go about living without someone to
make they decisions for them. It's an entirely different life than what
some of us lead, yet perfectly normal and content and happy.

Being
a sub without a Master doesn't mean we're always empty or sad it just
means we might be in transition. Some choose to live that way and
simply live life as a submissive to many or none. Those people
certainly have much to journal about. It's not my way of life and never
could be but it's something that people definitely choose. There of
course are the ones who are looking and looking desperately. A journal
can also be a place for venting about that as well. Again talking about
long term and short term goals.

my point being is that it's
difficult for me to see someone selling themselves short simply because
they aren't in a relationship. i will never be the feminist who says "i
don't need no man to make me whole!!!" i just can't sit back and let anyone no matter who it is,
sub,slave,Master,vanilla or enemy say they are worth less than they
are.

Going back to that email, in my opinion; whether you have a Master or not, you have something to share. =)

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The other night Master got up from His computer and walked into the bedroom. i saw Him walk into the bathroom and come out again a few minutes later. i was busy at my computer but i know Him, i know Him very well. Sometimes it's frightening to both of us how i am able to predict some of the things He's going to do.

This time i wasn't positive, i'm never 100% sure of what He's up to, i just have a pretty good idea. This time i was right on the money. i got up from my computer and took a quick drink of my soda, i thought i might want a moist mouth. The closer i got to the bedroom door, i took off my glasses. When i entered the bedroom, i set my glasses down on the table beside the bed and got on my knees in front of Him. Master was just laying back with His pants at His knees getting ready to call me in to suck His cock. THIS time, my mouth was there before He was able to call me. This time, i was ready before He was. =)

We had been working very hard in the yard that day and i was just sitting at my computer thinking to myself that i could fall asleep sitting there and i know i've said this before. Sometimes those are the best times to test my level of slavery and submission. This time i didn't want to "let the devil inside", if you will. So i jumped up before i could even get a second thought. Once i was on my knees in front of Master i did play with Him and pretend to fall asleep with His cock in my mouth. We were both so worn out and sore that it was funny and He poked me and tapped me to wake me up.

Master told me something pretty neat after this last blow job. He told me that He never used to moan or make lots of noises when He came, before me. Basically He was telling me that i make Him feel great and i love it! What an awesome feeling to have, it's wonderful incentive to keep trying and keep finding new ways to please Him and make Him feel even better. =)

Well i'm going back outside today to work in the yard, unless my back says otherwise. I've been cutting down the soil to even out the yard while Master fixes things. Last night He took me out front and showed me the huge "grave like" hump that is left over from the installation of our deep well. i knew it was there but i didn't want to even try to tackle it. Now that He saw that i was capable of moving dirt and making it look half way decent, He's thinking He wants me to try to till up the soil and smooth it out. i'm not sure but it may kill me if i try to do all that! hahahaha It's not much larger than the job i did in the back yard, it's just the front yard and people will SEE it! What if i mess it up???? haha LoOk AT ThE grEAt JoB i DId in The FRonT YaRD! Almost no DIvIts. =p

So off i go to see what sort of mess i can make so Master can plant grass seed! We have grass of course, but mostly, we have weeds! Hopefully if it's really bad the grass will cover it up! =)

Friday, September 21, 2012

There is so much talk about how we dress or rules our Master's might have for us. The conversation almost never goes the other way.

What about dressing the Master? What are His rules about that? It almost goes without saying that we'd be responsible for the laundry and ironing should that be required, but not always. Everyone is different and there just might be someone out there who would insist on doing His or Her own laundry to their own specifications. But what about once the clothing is clean?

Do you play a direct role in dressing your Dom/mme?

i bring this up because i do. Pretty much from start to finish clothing is my area and He puts very little (if any) thought into what He's going to wear on any given day. Master assumes that there will be clean clothes laid out and if there isn't there better be a VERY good reason. He takes for granted that those clothes will be in good repair and if they aren't there better be a good reason for that as well. In short, it's just not on His radar when He gets up in the morning. He's not opposed to men's apparel and He loves shopping but He loves shopping for me, not really for Him.

i have to think ahead and be prepared for the unexpected as well. He's been losing weight and i know that if we're going to be walking long distances for the day, He's going to want His belt... but not until later. So grab a belt and stuff in my bag. Are we working and doing something nicer that means work shirt in my bag as well.

The problem is sometimes i forget these little details on some days and He comes to rely on me to remember. i think i need a check list! =)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

There was a thread title that was so pertinent to my current situation right now i thought i would steal it and use it here.

"Do you stand up for yourself?"

Time after time Master says to me "Why do you let her talk to you like that?". More often than not (as of late) He's talking about His sister, sometimes it's my sister, in the past it was His Mom.

i HATE to argue! i really really do! So here's the thing about His sister when there is an issue where i know i'm right i'll say my peace and leave it alone, even if i know i'm right. i don't care about looking like an idiot or letting them think they're right. Who cares if they walk away with their heads held high? The bad thing is, it becomes a pattern and they think they can consistently do it and i become stomping ground. Even when i'm right, they are clearly in the wrong, sometimes it might be important and i need to stand up, i've gotten used to just allowing them to be right. BAD....

Case in point; You know what a gait belt is? It's exactly what it sounds like. It's used to help people walk and transfer from one chair or bed to another etc. Master's sister and pretty much everyone who isn't trained thinks that the gait belt is "for wimps". Wrong! That belt is used for the patients' comfort as well as safety AND to help the person who is lifting.

When using the belt, you place it around the patient's torso, now you're lifting them with the security of the belt snugly wrapped around the torso and putting much less strain under their arms. Much less of a risk dislocating a shoulder by lifting all their body weight by only lifting underneath the arms.

It's completely a no brainer to take the extra minute it might take to wrap that belt around Master's Mom for her comfort, rather than trying to prove.... whatever Master's sister is trying to prove. It's all a control thing, really. i want her to use the belt and well, she won't.

There are more scenarios than i can count. Of course it's not all about being right or wrong, it's just about Master's sister being rude and me not standing up to her. i asked her what was going to be going on one day at a family pic nic and she said in a voice that makes me think of the Wicked Witch Of The West, "Didn't you get a schedule?!??! It was nothing as dramatic as that, only my memory seeing her sitting in her chair with her glasses on the tip of her nose, looking at me with such disdain....

Well yes, we did get one! A year ago and it's hanging on our fridge. The thing is i thought i would ASK to make conversation AND because your in contact with the people who are organizing the event, daily. OH! PLUS NEVERMIND! But see i didn't SAY any of that because i'm a big fat wimp, instead i sat in the corner of the room and fought back tears, trying to figure out why people are so mean.

So Master has about had it because He's tired of her being mean but i don't want to raise a stink because i don't want to upset His Mom. Master really wants me to just say to His sister, "look, this is really enough, there's no earthly reason for you to talk to me like this and i'm tired of you being mean to me." or just once when i am in the right about a medical issue, i should actually push the issue to the point of her backing down. i just need to stand up to her once but that's SO much harder than it seems. Neither Master nor i want WWII and that's what could happen. It has to be me, not Master. Master can stand up to her all He wants but that won't solve a thing, He's not afraid of her.

Master's sister is certainly not as bad as this post makes her out to be, i have featured only the worst side of her here. She and i (or so i thought) used to be friends. i don't think we ever were, i just wanted to be in a bad way. She can be very generous at times but something changed when Master confronted her just that one time about throwing away something that didn't belong to her. Everything went up in smoke and the world hasn't been the same since.

So if i were to post on that thread... my answer would be... HEH! NO! But i need help! Master couldn't be more supportive of me if He tried but if He gets involved it will be a war and i'm not even being dramatic. This one is on me to try to solve.

So now it's your turn;

Do you stand up for yourself? i would love to hear back from you! In comments, email where ever you like!

"Is she going to get a nose ring?"

Hi and thanks for the question. i'll assume that you're asking Master this question. This is actually something Master has talked about for quite some time and in the simplest of terms yes, some day He will in fact put in a nose ring. It will be a septum piercing.

Master puts a lot of thought into everything that He does, so He wants to do it at the right time. There is a time and place for everything and certainly a place to have His slave tromping about with a septum piercing. So there will be times when Master will want the nose ring to be less conspicuous than others. When He wants the piercing to go undetected Master wants to be sure that the retainer He chooses will serve it's purpose well.

i'm sure that there will be a septum piercing in the future, how long in the future is completely up to Him! =)

Have faith though that there will pictures and many of them, when it happens! =)

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Master has been after me for years to sew up all the slits in all my dresses and skirts. The problem is, i don't have a proper sewing machine and if i do it by hand it will look like i did it by hand. AND.... i'm not a great seamstress, i'm not even a good one as far as that goes. i can sew on a button and a patch and in a pinch, make a hole, "not" look like a hole. That's about it, really. So for me to sew up a slit and make it look like a four year old didn't do it, yeah that's probably not a job for me.

Sunday night Master came to me and told me that i was supposed to find an outfit that would be acceptable for outdoors, semi casual and then sort of fancy. This outfit was just supposed to materialize out of nowhere hehe! So i set to work to come up with said outfit. i had a dress picked out that i thought would work nicely and i would be able to dress it up and or down with jewelry and shoes for each environment. Master didn't like the belt however. So He went searching and found two or three better dresses. i chose one of the dresses that He liked and ... i chose poorly!

The dress that i chose was a short little thing and i've never sewn the slit. The last time i wore it i didn't have any trouble because my stockings were tighter. It always depends on the brand of stockings as to how everything pulls together. Monday, things didn't pull together very well! The slit on this dress is actually quite short but in a dress that short, it can't be "too" long, can it? =)

So as i'm getting in the car for the first time, i think to myself that i might have a problem with my stockings! This isn't going to work well and then i think uh oh... you're going to be able to see the stockings from the back! As odd as it might seem, in some cases, i can be somewhat modest! i knew we were going to be out and about all day and i didn't want to be showing stockings all day! i should have gone right back inside and changed but we were running a little behind schedule, so i went with it.

The whole day was one surprise after another! When we started out of town, Master told me to put on a blindfold so i wouldn't know where we were going. i had a feeling the whole day was about going to the zoo! There is a small zoo near us and He's been promising to take me all summer. It was a beautiful day and even though we could scarcely spare the day away, Master just stole the day away and we did it!

Once we pulled up in the parking lot, i instantly heard this tremendously loud squawking! It was awesome! He knew i had a feeling where we were but we were super excited about the day! So we hopped out and began our trip!

i only had one hesitation, my stockings were showing and i was pretty cautious about it. When we're in a family setting, i'm more conscious than ever of how i'm dressed. i love to look good for Master but i don't want to show "too much". At that point there just wasn't anything i could do about it and Master said if it got too bad i could take them off but He wasn't going to give in any too soon.

The zoo is relatively small and only took a very short time to walk through. Once we left there we went and had a small snack. Then back on with the blindfold for another surprise. i had no idea where we were going and this time i was stumped. We only drove for a short time before we pulled up at this awesome greenhouse/gift shop place that i've been just dying to go to all summer and no matter how hard we try, we just haven't been able to get there! Master's timing was perfect because i'd all but forgotten about going to the place! We wandered around there for quite some time and gasped at the prices, mostly i just love the pretties. =)

It was too early for supper so we did a little more shopping that we needed to get done. Once it was finally time for supper, back on with the blindfold. Now i just knew i had our dinner destination figured out! WRONG. Master drove and drove.... hmmm! When He made some twists and turns after we'd been driving a while, i figured it out! We were at the casino.

All day, my stockings were showing but by now, we were in an all adult environment and i didn't much care. unfortunately, they were lower now than they'd been all day because they were getting looser and looser. i'm not sure how visable they were but if they were i guess it was up to Master to make the decision to have me change out of them. Which of course, He never did.

The night was great and Master decided He'd have a blowjob when we got home so i beat Him to it! He was in His chair in the den and i went in and knelt at His side. i told Him that i wanted to thank Him for the lovely day and He said.. Ohhh you wanna thank Me..."down there?" He granted me the opportunity to thank Him with a lovely cock sucking to end the day. It was a pretty good day and we these days we definitely need those intertwined!

Friday, September 14, 2012

i need to find balance, a happy medium if you will between complete chaos and our time being pretty much our time. Yes in the last few years we've devoted a lot of time to Master's parents but nothing like the last few weeks since Master's Mom has been in the nursing home. Pretty much every day revolves around going to see her, Master's Dad or if we're not going to see her we're doing something related to them. i'm just not balancing things at home and His parents very well.

So when i have a day at home, i feel as though i have to do everything in that day. Clean/laundry/catch up on the blog/email/phone calls, you name it! It's clear that i need to find some sort of routine in order to make my life just a bit easier. i have routines for the animals because you can't just not care for them and of course the daily things like dishes, but it's the things that you can let yourself fall behind on, like laundry and cleaning! ugh!

i know i put this pressure on myself, no one is going to come in and inspect our bathrooms or tell me my pillow cases should be changed. But i know! That's what is important!

Not only that, i just need to find a sense of balance for my own well being. i need to know that on those days we have home, it's not going to spent running myself ragged.

i'm sorry to complain, we're sorta going through a rough time right now.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

In the years that i've been reading blogs and writing myself, i've read so many wonderful descriptions and explanations of submission, too many to count i'm sure. The other day i ran across a wonderful account of one slaves perspective and it's just struck me, deeply.

We've never done anything like this before but after getting Master's permission of course, i sent her an email and asked her if she'd allow me to feature her post on my blog.

Submission Is Not Negative

Every so often I get comments from people I know, and people I don't know, saying that because I am a woman and because I submit to my man that I must be incredibly weak.

Quite the contrary.

In fact, I find that I am possibly the strongest I have ever been in my entire life. It takes guts and a LOT of trust to put your life and decisions into the hands of someone else. It does not make a person weak, it just means we have a huge amount of trust with the person we are putting that much control into. I trust that my Master knows what is best for me, and He has yet to prove me wrong.

"You're weak and pathetic."

Not really. If any of us is pathetic, it is those who think that submission is as simple as lying down and "doing what the man says." It's not that black and white. In fact, it's not like that at all. I submit because it is what makes me feel like me. I submit because I enjoy it. I submit because it is something both Master and I need in our relationship. It is what works best for us. That is in no way translated to weakness, and if anyone thinks it is, please refer to a dictionary and come back to me.

"You're just lazy and don't want to make decisions."

Wrong again. I can make decisions just fine, and truly, how am I lazy when I do chores for Master, tend to His needs, and go about my duties? That sounds less lazy and more active than anything. So please explain that to me. Truly, I can make any decision I please, and the most important decisions in my life are still MY decisions. Master will always have a say, it's how we work, but that does not mean I can not think for myself.

Submission does not equal weakness, laziness, indecisiveness, or anything else negative a person can think of. Submission is beautiful and it can be very uplifting, freeing, and even healing. I have found that since I have submitted to my Master I am a stronger person. I have a certain guidance that I have always needed and that is nothing short of a positive thing. I submit to Him because I know that I can trust Him.

This is not an abusive relationship. We are both consenting adults who know what they are getting into. I am not a mindless zombie at the whim of some evil man. I am Anastassia. A proud slave to my Master, and I have no reason to be ashamed of that.

~*~Anastassia~*~

i would like to thank Anastassia and her Master for allowing us to feature her post on my blog. What a beautiful and honest account of what submission can and should be!

Where To Find Us

To see all of my pictures, go to Master's Flickr and ask to be a friend. Tell Him who you are and that His treasure sent you! (Please have your age or something in your profile stating that you're an adult.)

Our Online Presence

To see all of my pictures, go to Master's Flickr and ask to be a friend. Tell Him who you are and that His treasure sent you! (Please have your age or something in your profile stating that you're an adult.)