Author: EstherBogere

Just a university graduate, currently working while looking for a career job. I am passionate about talking about things that impact me and how I deal with them, I think it is important to talk about and share your experiences as you do not know who you might help.
Life is a journey with ups and downs and the way you deal with these makes you the person you are today, I want to make a huge impact on the world and people around me through sharing with you all, and I invite you to come and experience this all with me - Together we can make a difference
E.B

– And then I realized that to be more Alive, I had to be less Afraid, So I did it I lost my Fear and gained my Whole life – Unknown-

Today I am 26 years old, a whole 26 years old wooooow… I cannot believe it, I have been honestly dreading turning 26, I just wanted to chill and be 25 for a cool minute. I feel like when you get to 26 you are officially an ADULT you cannot get away with anything, you cannot do silly things but at this moment I feel like I am having a quarter life crisis, I want to do all the things I never got to do as a kid, I want to break out, I want to be more adventurous and get out of my comfort zones, did I tell you I also want to jump out of a plane to concur my fear of heights? Really Esther? Yeah I am being soo damn serious… yeah quarter life crisis me thinks.

Its crazy because I have been having so much anxiety these past couple months, I have been having this magical invisible clock that’s been ticking and counting down the days until I hit 26. My anxiety has been magnified by the sudden pressures I have been putting on myself and also the pressures of external voices be it Family, Friends, Colleagues, Social media, TV etc. I have let their thoughts, voices and opinions take up abode in my mind. My mind is always racing with so many ideas on what I got to do, finding my purpose, you still single where is your man?, when are you getting married?, when are you getting your own house?, when are you getting a car?, what career path do you want to take? what is next? your’re 26 the clocks ticking when do you think you gonna have these kids? you name it the list is endless, I have been drowning and stressing my mind over.

Reflections…

Life does not always turn out the way we expect it to, Life is like a roller coaster you never know when the next turn is going to come, when the next high or low is going to rise and fall. Life has its ups and downs and its our job not to let the obstacles, tests and trials that we go through consume us to the point where we dread living, and I don’t mean this to the point where you would want to kill yourself, I mean LIVING, being ALIVE because you can still be alive but dead inside and that is one of the worst spaces to be in. They say comparison is the thief of joy and me comparing my life to everyone around me is robbing me of my joy, we are all on different journeys and our routes are not supposed to be the same.

Life is not a sprint but a marathon people and society will put all these pressures on you so you feel like you have to sprint through seasons to try and catch up with everyone else. YOU DON’T!!! your job is to not give them the power to inflict their desires and opinions on you. God should be the number one voice you should let abode in your mind. Whenever you feel pressured, worried, anxious he’s always there to let you know that there is nothing you have to worry about he’s plans are always awesome and all you have to do is cast your cares unto him 1 PETER 5:7‘Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you’.

Yes I may be 26 but I don’t have to have it all figured out by now, I am where I am supposed to be for a reason and I need to live in this moment, I cannot go through life dwelling on the what if’s or if only’s I need to think about this moment and what I can do from here on.

Gratitude…

I remember this time last year my life took the ultimate u turn , I had planned so much for my 25th birthday, I remember I had my driving test that week, I had booked a really nice meal at Gauchos to celebrate with my friends, so many things, I was on a physical high, mental high and a spiritual high, life was great. But I couldn’t have prepared myself for what was about to happen to me, in fact no one could have prepared me for this, my health took a drastic turn for the worst and I ended up in hospital it took my body about 4 to 5 months to get back to normal but even then my body was still not 100%. I will expand about this in another blog post, but my point is there is so much I have to be grateful for despite everything that has happened this past year I have been blessed to see 26.

Sometimes we get so caught up with what is going on around us that in hindsight we fail to look at the small things and show gratitude towards them, there are so many people who did not live to see 26 and I should be grateful that the Lord has carried me this far, things could have taken a turn for the worst but by God’s grace and favour they did not, I am Alive, I am Breathing, and I still have a purpose to fulfill on this earth.

Trust…

Even though sometimes I may feel like life’s moving slow or my path is not turning out like others I need to trust God he knows what he’s doing because hes God. Jeremiah 29:11 says ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’. This verse has been my verse this past year but it some how slowly turned into a chant that I was just saying, I lost the feeling of what this verse really meant. When I started doubting and allowed fear and anxiety to get a hold of me the meaning of this verse was no longer etched in my heart, I had this light and fire in me that had been burning for so long and some how it was put out and I had been going through the motions trying to relight it back up.

The thing is I should have meditated more on Jeremiah 29:11 and instead of panicking and trying to juggle everything at once, I should have put all my eggs in Gods basket and stopped trying to pick up some eggs out of it in hopes that I may be able to fix somethings that I thought God couldn’t fix. I am learning to let go and let God do his thing and even if I do make mistakes God has a way of always rerouting you back on track, you gain so much peace and joy when you learn to have Faith and Trust more.

Philippians 4:6-7 ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’

I just want to encourage anyone who has anxiety over their future, who is not sure what the future holds, who is going through tests, trials and tribulations, life just doesn’t seem to be going the way you planned and you feel like your world is falling apart. I want you all to know that Fear, worry and anxiety over the future are not your potion, but Joy, Peace, and more Love are your potion. Learn to silence the voices that society and people try to impose on your life and continue to increase the voice of God in your life. Renew your mind on a daily basis on the good and endless things God has promised you.

That is how you relight the fire that has been put out by the worries of the world

Romans 12: 2‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.’

Love where you are as much as where you are going so you will never miss a moment of the journey – Unknown –

Lately Long train rides have been my favourite thing to do, apart from getting lost and directions my favorite part is the journey in between before I reach my destination. Long train rides to Liverpool so far are my favorite as I can look at the scenery, think about my life and everything that is going on, reflect, read a book and listen to music. I have been wanting to go inter railing for a long time and one of the places I would love to go explore using scenic trains is Switzerland, ahhh they literally have the most beautiful scenic landscapes.

During train rides I have to sit through the journey I am taking until I reach my stop, I could also choose to get off, hop on another train, change to a different route, at the end of it my goal is to reach my destination. Life is pretty much similar to a train ride we are all on a journey with a final destination what we do, who we choose to love, the friends we have, the jobs we take are all decisions we make through out, what happens in between is up to you.

We all go through highs & lows, comfortable and uncomfortable stages this could be the unemployment & employment stage, the relationship stage (breakups, makeups, honeymoons), friendships, education etc. in all these stages or some of them we have a tendency of rushing the process to get to the next stage in order to get out of the uncomfortable phase or we miss pivotal moments while our eyes are set on the end goal.

The trouble is whenever we do this we cease to enjoy the moment and love where we are as we are too busy looking forward to where we are going and in the process we miss moments that happened during our tests and trials. These moments however good or bad teach us something about ourselves and mold us into a better person. I have found my self at times looking forward to the future and forget to live in the moment especially when I am going through an uncomfortable season.

Uncomfortable seasons are good in a way depending on how you look at them from a positive point of view they teach us a lot about ourselves, how strong we are and can be, how much we can grow, what we can achieve, and what we can overcome. Sometimes in order to grow into the next stage you have to trust the process and go through it, often times we are so impatient and we do not want to go through with the process and we just skip, find shortcuts or end up quitting it all together. Have you ever been running late that you make the decision to change your usual train route to a different one in hopes that you will get there earlier and in the long run you become even later than you would have been if you stuck to the same route. Its so important to trust the process and stay the course, God also has a funny way of making the things we fail to learn from come back in a different way, the same mountain or obstacle you avoided will come back through another job, another relationship, another friendship, or another scenario.

Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget to enjoy the journey – Micheal Josephson –

Your seasons however may not all be uncomfortable some seasons maybe great seasons, but we maybe so focused on the next goal that we don’t take the time to live in the moment and appreciate the season we in. There are times when I have been cruising through life only to look back and realize wow I missed that moment I wish I had just soaked it in and enjoyed it, kind of like sleeping on a train and missing all the beautiful scenery. There are some special moments in your life that cannot be repeated that you will never get back, You will never be 21 or 25 or 30 again, there are some moments in life where you just have to be thankful and grateful for how far you have come, how much you have achieve, the person you have grown into. Always ask yourself what or how much you have learnt from a season?

These past few months/weeks I have been teaching myself to enjoy the journey of my life however bad, difficult or good each season is the best thing is to always look at the positive aspect of it. Its good to have a goal to look forward to but make sure while your on the journey you are engaging and taking in all that life throws at you, everyone or everything that comes your way is molding you into the person you will become.

Happiness is not about the trophy, or the finish line. Its the journey. If you enjoy your journey, you can enjoy your life – Pharrell Williams

Live Your Life With Intention And Use Every Ounce Of Your Being To Live The Life You Were Born To Live – Ana Brandt –

The Wind is defined as the perceptible natural movement of the air especially in the form of a current of air blowing from a particular direction. You never know where it is going or coming from, the wind just goes with the flow, there is no foundation its always on an unknown journey.

Are you just like the wind slowly breezing through life not knowing where you are going or where you are coming from. A repetitive cycle just like the wind it all comes back in full circle, are you recycling the same year over and over again?

Do you wake up everyday go to work, get home, eat, sleep, work, home, eat, sleep. Are you just busy being busy doing the same thing everyday engaging in a never ending cycle. There is nothing wrong with doing the above but are you asking your self why you do what you do, why do you get up everyday to do what you do? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my Life or is it temporarily a step ladder to get to where I want to be? Are you conscience of the things you do on a daily basis, do you give each task your full attention or are you just living your life by default? These are some serious questions I have had to keep asking myself in this journey of life. A lot of people live their life like a wasted train journey, have you ever boarded a train not knowing its destination or what station or stop you will get off at? Majority of you will say No!!! If a lot of us used this same concept in relation to the way we live our life we would get so much more out of it and save so much time.

Last year was a year of change for me I went through many Challenges, Tests and Trials all in all these really taught me a lot more about myself, they changed my mindset and my perspective on how I have been living my life. I remember when me and my college friends had a reunion I just couldn’t believe it was about five years since we were in college and since I last saw some of them time had flown by so fast. I thought to myself I don’t want to look up in the next 20 years and find that life has past me by and I have not been intentional in all areas of my life. “Guard Your Time Fiercely. Be Generous With It, But Be Intentional About It”- David Duchemin –

Time Waits For No Man- My dad used to rinse this saying out all the time I even got tired of it but as I grew up this saying became part of me, more so now than ever. When we go through the motions not knowing what our purpose in life is we enter an unknown journey of breezing through life wasting precious time. The scary thing is many people are unconscious of this and so was I at one point in my life. You don’t want to wake up one day look up and realise you have wasted half your life away. “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20, has wasted thirty years of his life” – Mohammad Ali –

I made a promise to myself and God this year to be more mindful and present in everything I do from the way I use my time, the friends i hangout with, the jobs I take, the actions or decisions I make, the way i use my finances, it has to be A Year of Action leading to Change.

How Do I Live Intentionally?

1. Find out what your Purpose is

If you don’t know what your purpose is in life, you will find yourself living your life by default letting things happen as you go along, trying this trying that, and in most cases following the crowd. Find out what you were born to do, I love how Myles Munroe puts it “Your future is not ahead of you, its trapped within you”this quote reminds me of Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” (NIV). God had already established Jeremiah’s purpose way before he was born, he just had to walk into his purpose that was already trapped in him. Your purpose is far greater than you could ever imagine God wants his best for you, don’t wander through life make it an obligation to find out what your purpose is.

2. Take Action

Once you find your purpose everything you do will be with intention in relation to your purpose e.g: If your purpose is to be a singer you will take action and invest in music lessons, vocal lessons, learning an instrument, you will do anything to improve your art to its best. If its to be a pastor you will go to bible college, deeply study the word, take leadership classes, anything that you have to do in order to shepherd people and grow spiritually. These are just a few action examples that you will decide to take in order to fulfil your purpose.

3. Have a Plan, Focus, Don’t get Distracted

As the saying goes If you fail to plan you plan to fail. Get a journal or any book and write down what you want to achieve this year, what are the steps you will take to get to these goals. Just write it down its more real when its on paper. Put it on your wall so you look at it everyday reminding your self what the plan is don’t get distracted and go off course.

4. Use your Time Effectively

When you have a plan for the day you will make sure that you are using your time effectively. Are the things you are doing on a daily basis teaching you, expanding your mind and the way you see things, growing you,etc. If you find that all of these things are not happening you are going with the motions. STOP THINK and RE-EVALUATE, remember time is of the essence.

5. Be Mindful Be Aware Soak up the Moment

A lot of us need to practice doing this a lot more, I have realised in the past I have not soaked up moments that have happened in my life and when I have looked back I have been like WOW look what God did, I wish I took the time to soak up that moment. You will never get back the time to re experience Great moments again, Make it a habit that no matter how big or small the moment is soak up every aspect of it and express a heart of gratitude.

Most of all I would say work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people – Colossians 3:23 – I seriously cannot explain how much this has helped me on a day to day basis, this verse has made me look at every situation I face in a more positive light, we will have to go through some situations we wish we could just skip and fast forward but its all part of the process, these situations will make you the person you will be in the future.

– Slow down. Be intentional. Notice the energy you are bringing into this space and moment – Brendon Burchard

I turn 25 in a couple of days and this may be a daunting or celebratory feeling for some people, daunting in a way because you start to think of all the things you wanted to achieve by this age. I am sure most of us had a list or ideally hoped that by this time we would either be married, engaged, with a child, living in your own house, or have your own business, dream job etc. Either way I have learnt that things do not always go how you expect them to go and that is totally fine, the main thing is not to become discouraged as I have been feeling these past few weeks. On reflection I have learnt so much about my self these past 3 years and the good thing is I am still learning and growing, what is important is not rushing the process and that all good things will come in due season.

There is a poem by Mary Stevenson called Foot Prints in the Sand, when me and my family lived in Swaziland we had a big framed poster of this poem hanging in one of the rooms, I used to read it every time I went into that room I love this poem, take a look…

I want to put my own take on the Lords footprints, through out my life my relationship with God has been up and down depending on my circumstances or what I was going through at the time. When I was young my relationship with God was strong I never missed a day without praying or reading my bible, I was bold and confident when it came to telling people about the Love of God and who he was. As I got older the worries of this world took over me and my focus shifted drastically, I started comparing my life with others and I thought I was missing out on a lot of things, so I started running away from God, this lead to me eventually criticising every aspect of myself, I began to create my own footprints.. at the time I did not realise that I was creating my own destiny and journey by ignoring God and doing what I wanted to do.

Reflecting back I now realise that there is nothing more fulfilling than being in the Lords presence, I started to fill these voids that I had, trying to get other people to Love me, ashamed of who I was that I created this ideal me that everyone would like and I still was not satisfied and was left feeling unhappy and lost. About 3/4 years ago I had, had enough I was tired of running I needed to get closer to the source of my Life, I left a bad relationship I was in at the time and told myself it was time for change, being unhappy, depressed, feeling inadequate, feeling lost, living life with no purpose, & filling my voids with things except God was not my portion.

Making this decision is the best thing I have ever done, when you have experienced the Love of God and you become lost and found you begin to appreciate it more and you never want to go back to that dark place. He opened my eyes and I began to realise my self worth, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14, that before he formed me in my mothers womb he knew me, before i was born he set me apart Jeremiah 1:5 – God has gone before me and created my destiny and it is my choice if I choose to walk in the footprints that he has created before me. In the past I created my own footprints and if I had carried on I know my life would have turned out different.

My goal everyday is to make sure I am following in his footsteps, that I do not waiver from side to side creating my own path, because I want what he has planned for me and I want to fulfil his calling on my life. There is nothing more amazing than knowing that you are on the right track, yes you may stumble and fall but the goal is to be more and more like Jesus, to have his heart so that you may reject anything that does not look like him. This is a journey I want to stay on and experience the wonders of God, there is nothing like being in his presence. I want to encourage everyone to give him a chance.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

I was scrolling through my Instagram the day before and I came across this self discipline challenge that @PrinceDonnell had created, for 21 days you had to…

1. Wake up at 5am

2. Have 1 hour of excercise

3. Drink 1 Gallon of water per day – equivalent to 4.5 Litres

4. Read for 15mins

5. Spend 1 hour of no phone time ( separate from exercise time )

I have always struggled with being disciplined in certain areas of my life whether its a goal or an idea I would often start and find myself giving up or moving on to something else that caught my eye. When i saw this challenge I thought this is an opportunity to prove to myself that I can be disciplined, focused and I can stick to a task at hand, Besides what did I have to lose? In fact I had more to gain than lose apart from having to sacrifice a couple hours lay in at the weekend I was in a Win situation if I persevered through it all. Another thing that caught my eye, it apparently takes 21 days to create a habitwell this was what I needed, the discipline of turning the things I hated which are meant to be good for me in terms of growth and success into my habits.

On Monday the 15th August I had a long day at work usually my routine consisted of waking up at 4 am getting ready for work coming back home exhausted which meant taking naps by the time I knew it my whole day was gone. This day was different, this was the day I had to start the challenge. So I showered had something to eat got dressed and I was out the door, I figured I would start with running. Usually I go for Fit run every Tuesday with a few friends but today I had to do it on my own. It hit me when I got to the park and started doing my stretches, am I actually here on my own about to run for 1 hour with no one to motivate me and push me? at this point so many things were going through my head while I was running, how are you going to do this for 21 days straight Esther with no break? Was this even a good idea? This was physically and mentally tough but I told my self I will prove to myself and other people that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

As the days went by it got tougher and tougher especially days when I had to go on my own and push my self to complete the challenge, the first week I struggled with my body I was physically in so much pain my body was not used to me pushing it the way I did, part of me was scared I was pushing too much, then I remembered something my dad used to say ‘everything is in the mind, the things you hate the most are usually the best things for you’ at the time I did not understand this but now this was my daily saying. There was no way I was going to give up through the struggles through the pain I was going to keep pressing forward as each day passed I was learning more about myself and about my body, my mind was clear, my skin was clear, I was having better sleep, more focused, disciplined and something in me was changing and has changed.

I honestly would encourage anyone to give this challenge a go, yes it will be hard waking up so early, drinking 1 gallon of water equivalent to 4.5 litres , taking some time to read a book, spending 1 hour off your phone and exercising will not be a walk in the park especially if you are doing them every single day with no break. Some will be easier than others, but when you come out on the other side the reward is quite incredible you feel like you can conquer the world.

What did I learn from this experience?

Excuses

Before this challenge I did not realise how many excuses I had to why I could not do a lot of things, this challenge made me realise that excuses are the number one thing stopping the majority of us from reaching our goals or finding out what we are capable of doing. Excuses will kill and destroy your goals and dreams,excuses are gonna stop you from realising what your potential is. There are always going to be excuses as to why you cannot do things, its gonna be raining its gonna be hot, you will always be working, you will not have enough time. The one thing I know is If you plan your day right you can fit in all the things you want to do, when you want something there should never be an excuse to stop you from accomplishing it. You gonna find a way to fit it in, spin it around, put all the puzzles together and make it work, and yes its gonna be hard but you can do it.

Just Do It

Taking the first step is a step in the right direction for success, a million questions will be racing through your mind on how this will ever be possible, most of the questions we ask ourselves often put us off from taking that first step. We get ourselves so worked up to the point were we have exhausted all the ways we can fail at a challenge and decide it will not work out so there is no point in attempting it.

Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to start making change and taking action in your life because what if the perfect opportunity never comes. The perfect opportunity to start making changes is never gonna come, you just have to wake up one day and JUST DO IT, don’t wait for tomorrow today is the day for change, the time for change is now.

Perseverance is Key

After you have taken the first step you will face challenges and trials along the way and this is perfectly normal this is a test to see how much you can persevere through it all, Do not give up keep pressing forward. Some days I was soo exhausted and in pain but I had to power through and often recited these sayings to encourage me ‘No Pain No Gain’‘Nothing great ever comes easy’. You have to work hard for the results you want to see and for this i told my self I will persevere through it all giving up is Never an option. Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”.

Motivation

Its so easy to do something with someone else because you know there is no way you will slack as the other person will make you accountable, push you and motivate you to keep going, but one of the hardest things to do is to motivate yourself, no one will be there to hold your hand and whip you to take action. One thing I learned is that in the past when I wanted to do something I would look for someone to do it with me if not I would not even bother attempting it at all. I have learnt that if you want something great you cannot wait for people or someone to do it with you, you just have to push yourself and do it, you will have to be responsible for your own motivation. You never know the impact this might have, there might be people at the end of your challenge who will learn from your journey and be inspired to take action in their lives.

The most Important one of All…Its all in the Mind

You don’t know how far your body can go until you push it everything is in your head, and the way you speak to your self is so important the inner person in your head that keeps speaking to you is sooo important, your mind set has to be right because the way you talk to yourself determines how far you can push your self. There is a constant battle between the mind and the body, for example in my first week I had the right mind set I was motivated and ready to go but everyday after work I was exhausted and tired and all I wanted to do was have a shower and go to bed, but I was not letting my body rule my mind and win I gave into my mind and surprisingly I felt so much better every time after a work out. The problem is so many of us feed into what the body wants and later on we wonder why we feel like crap, remember ‘when you physically do something you previously were not able to do something changes’This means that the bar increases every time you reach what you thought was your limit your mentality changes and you learn that your body can power through anything.

Positive affirmations are a good way to gear your mind and get you on a motivation high each day for example; Every day/Today is a good day to be Great, Its all in the mind, No pain No gain, Strength no Weaknesses, or my favourite one I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13.

I challenge anyone who wants to be more disciplined and see change in their life to go for it, you will learn something you never knew about yourself. You don’t know what you are capable of unless you try, anything is possible if you put your mind to it , if I can do it you can do it.

YOU – the only person that knows the ins and outs of your being apart from God. YOU the only person you will have to live with for the rest of your life. YOU can not escape the essence of your being and who you are, where ever you go you will always be there. So tell me something why do YOU hate yourself. why do YOU wish you were like the others. YOU look at them and see how great their life is and how much they Love them selves they gloat and boast of their wonders and goodness and are happy about their lives and who they are. You see they are content with them selves and they have come to the realisation that if you do not Love your self who else will?

I see you try and convince yourself that you love him… or her, but how can you Love another if you do not Love yourself? Now 1 John 4:20 explains this analogy well. “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” In the same way you cannot deeply hate yourself and tell yourself you Love another. Think about it how can you find it in you to appreciate someone else’s flaws and all but not your own, you put them so high up on this pedestal jumping high and low through the hoops to make sure they are happy and satisfied, don’t you think this should be the other way round?

YOU jumping high and low, running back and forth, falling and getting right back up learning yourself, just appreciating all your flaws and all that make you unique. I want You to Realise that You are Magic, YOU are a special and exciting quality, not ordinary but you are extraordinary unique the way you are, so Love yourself, your eyes, your nose, your body, your personality, for there will never be another you, start appreciating who you are, don’t wait for someone else to tell you that you are special, find it in yourself to fully and wholly accept yourself, be confident in who you are and remember… YOU ARE MAGIC.

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well.

On Saturday 30th July 2016 my Aunt got married and for the first time in my life i got to be a bridesmaid never been so excited for this moment. The week started off quite stressful running around with my cousin dealing with last minute final touches, i did not realise how much work goes into wedding planning i was stressed out and it was not even my wedding so think of how the bride must have felt? The wedding day started off crazy getting ready was stressful normally when i am going out with my friends or somewhere special it takes me up to 2 hours without rushing to get dressed, get my hair and makeup done. So my plan was to spend at least 4 hours taking my time to get ready as it was a really special day and I wanted to look amazing but as you know nothing ever goes to plan, we were rushing around and running late for the church service so we had to get ready in 2 hours.

We finally got to relax when in the limo and were served with some lovely champagne which my cousin poured for all the bridesmaids, the maid of honour and the bride, the best I have tasted so far. We arrived at the church got out of the limo while the photographer took our pictures, the vicar greeted us and as we entered the church we stood in height order and were given instructions of when to walk down the isle. All the bridesmaids had walked down the isle and the bride walked down looking absolutely beautiful in the Ivory glittery wedding dress she wore, the vicar led the service, bride and groom took their vows, we sang some hymns and the vicar spoke with a message for the couple. After everything we all proceeded outside to take alot of pictures with the bride, her family, the grooms family and all the bridesmaids together.

The reception was held at The Ocean View Hotel a really beautiful venue near the beach with beautiful views and a balcony overlooking a swimming pool, this was a perfect spot to take lovely wedding pictures. When you walk inside from the balcony there is a bar accompanied with a sitting area to relax before guests were allowed to go into the main reception hall, waiters were serving some champagne and juice for the guests.

Ocean View Hotel

All the brides maids the best man, maid of honour and bride and groom lined up at the entrance of the reception hall to greet all the guests as they entered and were each allocated their seats by the ushers. The brides maids, bride and groom made their entrance after everyone had taken their seats, we all danced our way to our seats as everyone clapped along and whistled, the room was filled with joy laughter and happiness with everyone taking out their phones to take pictures and film the bride and groom as they made their entrance.

Some of The Bridesmaids

The tables were beautifully decorated with lovely flower centrepieces accompanied by diamond stones sprinkled with glitter on the table. Each guest had their name card next to their seat on the table and written on the back of each card was the starter, main course and dessert that each guest had chosen to eat. For the starter i had a liver parfait which was really nice it had an interesting flavour to it, then for the main was pork this was quite filling considering I had not eaten all day. Last but not least dessert let me just say I am in love with profiteroles and these ones were absolutely amazing.

Table Settings

There was a couple of speeches to the newlywed couple from friends, family, the best-man and the groom most of them wishing them a life of happiness and success through the ups and downs, others giving them advice about married life and how to cope in different situations and the best-man trying to embarrass the groom, they were a lovely set of speeches.

We then proceeded to have a fun night dancing and having fun the bride and groom had their first dance which was accompanied by the best-man and maid of honour and later the bridesmaids and the rest of the guests. The DJ played candy and all the bridesmaids and usher boys started dancing to the famous dance routine with everyone cheering us on and getting into the spirit.The couple later cut their cake with an explosion of champagne poured by the host after that that the bride went to change into her second outfit and the guests proceeded to enjoy themselves on the dance floor. The bride and groom later reappeared wearing cowboy hats she also changed into a hot pink sparkling dress dancing their way around and onto the dance floor, the bridesmaids were also given cowboy hats and joined them on the dance floor.

We all continued on into the night dancing to the music and showing off all our moves having the time of our life. This truly was an amazing special day filled with loved ones and close friends, this day made me appreciate family even more as we had so many laughs and really enjoyed the time we had, it taught me to start spending and investing time on my family, cousins etc. and not make it a habit to come together only at occasions such as birthdays, weddings and funerals. Family is everything, Love is a blessing, A Gift from God that we should all sprinkle and throw everywhere we go like confetti.

If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race – Oprah Winfrey –

Have you ever had that feeling of emptiness like you have been running on the low, that feeling when you have been running on empty for so long is not the best feeling to have. The crazy thing is some of us keep going till that feeling becomes part of us and we finally lose the momentum we once hard in the beginning to pursue our dreams.

The Oxford dictionary definition of Recharge – To Restore electrical energy in a ( battery or battery operated device ) by connecting it to a power supply. My take on this – When you have a fully charged phone its battery gets drained the more you use it, eventually it will die and you will have to put it on charge. Our phones need charging everyday in order for us to use them so don’t you think we deserve to treat ourselves in the same way? Its funny how we panic when our phone batteries are on 2% but we don’t feel the same way when we are running on 0% everyday, imagine if we treated ourselves and panicked the way we do with our phones when the battery is on low, how much more life would we have?

Instead Everyday we go to work submerge ourselves into the work life get home feeling soo drained that we don’t have enough ‘ME‘ time, we get into this routine of work, home, eat, sleep, this becomes our life and we start feeling drained, unmotivated, fed up and eventually we give up on life. All our plans and dreams are shifted to the back of our minds and they become a distant part of our memory that we once had.

Over the past months I have realised the importance in taking time to recharge and spend some much needed ‘ME’ time. I found myself being soo frustrated stressed out unmotivated with my dreams, goals and felt purposeless. All my energies were being drained and i was not restoring them daily, weekly or monthly so I began to write less create less, spend time with friends and loved ones less and most of all I seemed not to have time for God at all. All my focus was on the source that was draining me, you know when you have a negative friend and you keep pouring all your positive juices into them eventually you are going to run out of positive juice to pour out because no one is refilling your cup.

This is when you become Emotionally, Spiritually and Physically drained, I am learning everyday that it is important to take time recharge yourself and enjoy everyday life. Whether it is taking a holiday break every now and then even for a few days, reading a book, or finding time after work to work on your dreams this helps you focus on something other than work itself and gives your life more meaning. Also taking some much needed ‘ME’ time to refocus your energies, spending time with God every morning before you start your day also works wonders I found that every time I did this my day would go a lot more smoother, feeling less stressed out and having a different mindset. Romans 12:2“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will “.

Being stressed and worried is not my portion and neither should it be yours. Philippians 4:13 ” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

This Week…

I spent 2 days away on a spa break at the Hilton St Anne’s Hotel in Wokingham with my sister, a surprise organised by her very thoughtful boyfriend for her birthday. It was a much needed break away from the stresses of life and work. We really enjoyed the time away and got some much needed rest, I had the best massage I have ever had gosh even thinking about it now is making me smile so hard. We both had the hot stone massage where they used heated stones to help warm up our tight muscles it was soo deeply relaxing.

They had such a huge outdoor space where we got to relax and enjoy the sun, there was also a beautiful conservatory where you can sit, relax, read a book or do whatever floats your boat if you did not want to be directly in the sun.

I think my highlight was the amount of food there was available i don’t think i have eaten that much food in such a long time. We had all inclusive dinner and breakfast on both days and we really made the most of it, we opted to get room service on our last day and boy was it good. All in all taking time away was really good and gave me a chance to reflect on my life, my purpose and my longterm goals and dreams.

We all need to treat ourselves and take time out to recharge our batteries in order to function and not run out of momentum.

If comparison was an art I would be the best Artist out there in fact majority of us would fall into this category, the amount of time we spend comparing our lives running around doing things to try and keep up with the Joneses is actually quite ridiculous.

We unconsciously do it to the point where it has become second nature to us. The rise of the different Social Media platforms do not help either, keeping up with them comes with the art of comparing your self to everyone out there who seems to be doing great, looking beautiful or living the ‘PERFECT ‘ life. The worst thing is they hook you in and you become so addicted, take Instagram for example you spend hours scrolling through your timeline going through page after page, picture after picture by the time you know it you have spent an hour comparing yourself admiring people’s lives and wishing you had what they have.

Snapchat is another one I had to force myself to occasionally delete off my phone, there where times I would watch peoples snaps and feel like my life was not as fun or as great as others. It seemed like everyone else’s life was more exciting and I was just stuck waking up at 4am everyday working all the time. I came to a point where I had to detach my self from these platforms, so that I did not feel like I was missing out if I went 1 day, 3 days or even a week without checking up on them. Ridding myself of the addiction was a healing process for me , as every time I would see a beautiful girl on Instagram my comparison would kick in, If I could look as perfect as those girls I thought I would love myself more. Taking time out learning to love myself so that the need of comparison would decrease really helped me so much. I came to the conclusion that in reality everyone only shows a snapshot of their life, they post only the best bits and the highlights and that no one is going to post about how broke or depressed they are just their own perception of how they want the audience to view their life.

– HOW to STOP Practising the ART of COMPARISON –

1. What you see is not always what you get

Its so easy these days to compare your life especially now that we have Instagram Snapchat Twitter and Facebook so many of the different social media platforms, where people post about their daily lives whether good, bad, sad, happy etc. the majority of the time it will always be about the good things. Its so easy to get caught up in envying other people and thinking that the people who always post amazing things are living this perfect life, what we fail to realise is that everyone posts the highlights what you see on Snapchat is only 10% of what really goes on in their life. A beautiful picture on Facebook will not show what a persons going through deep down, it is only a disguise to make people think that everything is perfect when in reality that person may be battling with self love or depression we are truly not seeing the full picture.

2. There is a time for everything

Everyone has a different journey in this life, some get married way too young, get their dream job, travel the world, get rich and famous and some prefer to wait till their much older to settle down and have kids. I was getting more and more frustrated with my self when I was seeing a lot of people my age getting their dream job, dream car, married, having kids and moving into their first home together and seemed to be living happy lives. Worse off when I kept getting the questions about what I am going to do with my life, I started to look at my life and wonder what I had accomplished apart from being in school and getting a degree, this made me become more frustrated that I did not have the things I was seeing other people with.

We always downplay our accomplishments and think they are not as good as Tom Dick and Harrys accomplishments someone else has to always do it better. Why can’t it be you? Listen!!! Just because you are not doing what all your age mates are doing it doesn’t mean your losing out or behind, some people will get there much quicker than others what matters is that you achieve your goals in the end. Just know that there is a time for everything under the sun and it might not be your time or season at the moment. –Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8-

3. You might not be ready

We want what we want right now and fast, we currently live in a fast generation no time or effort is put into things these days but the quicker you get it the quicker you loose it, especially if it’s not the right time for it or if you have not gone through the process. For example a pregnant women would like to rush the process of meeting her unborn child but the baby has to go through the process until its ready to come out, if not there are always complications. Same as life you want to be the best at what you do but you get what you put in, if you sow less time you will reap less. Self improvement is always a good thing if there are things that you don’t like and you can change them do it, whether its reading more books to expand your knowledge, practising that piano until you are as good or even better than that person you compare yourself to, whatever it is keep doing it and be patient your time will soon come.

4. Just Be You!

You are your own person there will never be another you, no one will ever talk like you, walk like you, laugh like you, dance like you and have your personality. Why would you want to be like someone else when God did not make a mistake – Psalms 139:14- ” I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” You are unique just learn to love yourself there’s real beauty in it that I cannot describe when you begin to accept yourself for who you are and all the little things that irritate you happiness follows. The need to compare yourself to everyone else becomes less and less important, Its easier said than done but its a process.

First LOVE YOURSELF Secondly FIND YOURSELF and when you do you will know who you are and no one can ever tell you any different Thirdly FINDYOUR PURPOSE – once you find your purpose on this earth you will know what to live for, to live for something that makes you wake up everyday alive and ready to go and change the world.

“When you Stop practising the Art of Comparison and Start practising the Art of Loving Yourself then you will become more conscious of your true worth” – Esther Bogere –

Nelson Mandela once said there is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

Honestly why should you settle for less in life? You are destined for greatness and God wants you to let go of all the mediocre things you keep holding onto because he knows that you are worthy of having the best.

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of situations, habits, friendships and relationships that are crippling us and stopping us from growing. We are so in love with these things so much that we begin to feel attached and cannot let go of them. In the long run we have talked our selves into it so much that we become blind and we start believing that this is it. Our gut instinct has been severed so much that we stop listening and we become so insecure in ourselves that…

WE BEGIN TO SETTLE

Settling for that job where your work efforts go unnoticed, with a boss that talks down to you, and because you have let your bosses words soak into your heart you begin to believe that your worthless and you can never amount to anything.

You settle for that boyfriend of yours who has zero respect calling you all the names under the sun, and because of your insecurities you think you are not deserving enough to find someone who will love and treat you like a Queen, so you decide to stay with him and take all the manipulation and abuse. It is so bizarre how we act when we think we are in love, I used to think I could change my ex boyfriend and make him a better person, I thought that this is it, I will be with him for the rest of my life so this has to work, I even prayed to God and tried to make him see that I knew what I was doing. The whole time he was telling me to get out of it because he had better for me, but I refused to listen I thought I knew best, but in reality I was so insecure and I was looking for love in someone else because I did not love myself. Eventually my eyes where opened and I was awake and finally believed I deserved better, if I had paid attention to the signs and listened to God I wouldn’t have wasted time settling, instead I would have worked on bettering myself and knowing my worth.

You settle for those friends that only contribute to being takers in your life, with no means to elevate you and help you grow physically, mentally and spiritually. Your inner circle is very important as the people you surround yourself with will have an influence on your character, Just as it says in 1 Corinthians 15:33 ” Bad company corrupts, Good character”.

If you hang around with gossipers eventually you will find yourself joining in with them especially if your the odd one out. If you are around negative people you will start to act and think like them, their negativity will start to get on you and you will end up being infected like them. So evaluate the people around you, don’t be afraid to let go of these sort of friendships because of fear of being alone, God will bless you with amazing people who are going to make a difference in your life, when you stop settling with friends who are holding you down.

I remember a time of loneliness when I did not have friends, I wanted them so bad that I ended up being friends with the wrong group of people. They would gossip, hurt me and discourage me, and we had conflicting ideas. For a while I ignored my gut instinct that was telling me they were not good friends and I should distance myself away from them, I was afraid of being alone. In the end I was hurt and betrayed so much I decided enough was enough, I thought I would rather be lonely and happy than be miserable and settle with the wrong group of friends. God would eventually bless me with great friends who would influence me, teach me, correct me and help me grow in this thing called life.

Remember! Beautiful People the decisions we make in life create and influence our destiny, so lets not be content with mediocre things in our life, let us fully trust in God to propel us to greatness.

He loves you so much that he wants you to let go of these things and fully trust in him, he has greater blessings in store for you that he wants you to have but this cannot happen if you are not listening to his voice, just let go and fully trust in him. You are capable of so much more than you can imagine.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future”.