Redditors Photoshop a Ridiculously Photogenic Neanderthal

Sticks, rocks, fire, hair pomade. Some Neanderthals are just too pretty to hide their good looks in a cave.

On Thursday morning, redditor mambungalon shared an image of this prehistoric heartthrob with Reddit’s Photoshop Battles community—and it wasn’t long before scouts at all the top modeling agencies took notice of his stunning, camera-ready features:

Reddit user mambungalon

The photo appears to be the handiwork of artists Adrie and Alfons Kennis, who built a lifelike reconstruction of a Neanderthal man whose skeleton was discovered in 1886.

But their reconstructive work was just the beginning for our Stone Age studmuffin once he wandered into his first Photoshop Battle.

If you’re not familiar with Photoshop Battles, here’s how they work: A random photo is presented. Anybody in the community can participate. All you need to do is edit the image as you please and submit your work in the comments section.

Let’s see how the knuckle-dragging knockout fared.

Give an Old Meme New Pics

Remember the “ridiculously photogenic runner” immortalized by Reddit in 2012? Well, user Ulrich453 updated the meme to prove that the jolly jogger is no match for this Paleolithic pretty boy:

This Fire Is Mixtape

After venturing out of his grotto, the tasty troglodyte wanted to blend in with the hipster sapiens—so redditor DrWankalot took him to Urban Outfitters for some new digs and a can of mustache wax, and taught him to say things like, “I just discovered this thing called fire—you’ve probably never heard of it.”

Reddit user DrWankalot

From stick-wielding caveman to stuck-up Nick Cave fan. And you thought humans could drone on about obscure “rock.”

“Man. Cave Man.”

Redditor Hey_Bud_lets_party thought the enchanting Encino Man looked suspiciously familiar. Could he be the lovechild of Han Solo and Chewbacca?

Reddit user Hey_Bud_lets_party

It would explain the sly expression (and copious amounts of back hair).

Either way, some users felt those sunken eyes, prominent brow, and Jake Gyllenhaalian facial mane belonged on the silver screen—if not in the Star Wars universe, then perhaps working for the British Secret Service:

On the Prowl

After achieving fame on TV and in theaters, our beloved Bro-Magnon found himself wishing he had a special lady with whom to share his success. So he researched his options and eventually discovered an extremely helpful tool that didn’t exist in the Stone Age: Tinder.

Redditor drink_the_wild_air created a profile to help the cave man get out of his man cave, with this tagline: “I’m into craft beer, live shows, and cave paintings. 5’5″ since EVERYONE wants to know!”

Reddit user drink_the_wild_air

You might not have any mutual friends with Grog, but the scruffy He-Man is sure to impress the ladies with his saber-tooth tiger rugs and, of course, the fact that he has his own club.

With a crisp new suit and a fresh blowout from the salon, the man who loves fire excitedly awaits his first match: