Tuesday, December 6, 2016

When you give in to fear

A few weeks ago I brought my daughter to her four year old well child doctor appointment. I was expecting it to be a quick in and out visit. You know, the usual of stepping on the scale, get her height, into the exam room where the pediatrician would do their thing, and then we would be on our merry way.

We were off to a great start. The nurse managed to get all the necessary stats while I went with another nurse to the room for the parent portion of the appointment. We finished that up and our fabulous pediatrician came in the room. The exam begins, all is going well. Then when examining the thyroid, something unusual is felt. A little more attention is paid to that and the pediatrician describes what he is feeling.

Immediately he tells me not to panic as it is probably nothing. To be safe though we will order blood-work and depending on how that comes back we might have an ultrasound as well. As soon as the doctor was out the door I consulted Dr Google. I mean yes our doctor, whom I trust greatly, did just tell me not to worry. Yet I couldn't help myself. I NEEDED more information. Well Dr Google gave me answers and naturally the one my mind immediately went to was the worst case scenario.

My daughter did a fantastic job with getting her blood taken. I have seriously never witnessed a child handle it so well. Now we had to wait for a phone call to find out the results. The next 36-ish hours went by VERY slowly. Of course I spent more time consulting that online doctor who only wants me to think the worst. There was one point where I was in tears because I was convinced that we were going to receive the worst news. I was panicking. I was worried. I was afraid.

Finally that phone call came in. Of the two blood tests that were performed, one came back in the "normal" range and the other was slightly elevated. They were putting in an order for the ultrasound. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit relieved with this news. I knew it would mean that the worst case scenario was out. It wasn't that. Yet again, I consulted that online doctor to see what that would tell me. That lead to a thyroid disorder. Okay, we can deal with that. If that is what it truly is.

That night I happened to have my woman's small group meeting. After we finished our study, we moved on to prayer requests. I mentioned the thyroid issue and that we were going to schedule an ultrasound to see what's going on. Needless to say I had five woman covering my daughter in prayer.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving I received the phone call to schedule the ultrasound. It was scheduled for Monday. I asked my husband to bring her. My emotions couldn't handle it. My mind was racing with thoughts and all I could do was think "what if". My husband is awesome. He brought her to the appointment and she did great. On Wednesday the results came in.

We had nothing to worry about. It was a tiny cyst and is of no concern. Our pediatrician will check her again at her five year appointment, but they are guessing this all had to do with inflammation.

Now why do I tell you all of this? Because satan wants us to worry. He wants us to have these doubts and go to those deep dark spots. He wants us to think the very worst. He also does not want us to bring our fears, worries, and concerns to God.

Honestly, I didn't bring my fears and worries to God right away. I should have. Yet something, okay someone, held me back. I took it upon myself to look up all the possibilities. I let my mind go to those not so good places. I let it take me over and it was all I could think about. But when I did finally give it to God, I felt so much better. It was as though a weight were lifted. Then when the results came back, I rejoiced. I gave thanks and praise to my God.

God is always there friends. He knows what we are going through. He is just waiting for us to come to Him and give our anxiety, fears, and concerns to him. He will handle it. We just need to trust.