Are you
tired of broccoli, green beans, collard greens, spinach,
etc.? There is an alternative to get your recommended
daily servings of healthy vegetables. EAT CHOCOLATE!!! YES! Chocolate is a vegetable.
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. BEANS = Vegetable. Sugar is derived
from either CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants which place
them in the vegetable category. Therefore, chocolate is
a vegetable.
Additionally, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are health food. Chocolate
covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and
strawberries all count as fruit, so eat all you want.Diet tip: Eat chocolate before every meal
to decrease your appetite so you'll eat less during the
meal. Chocolate has many preservatives and therefore will
make you look younger.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your daily
Things to Do List. That will insure that you accomplish
at least one chore.
Also, as a matter of convenience, a box of chocolate can
provide you with all the daily calories you require.

BEWARE!!!
of Pills, Potions and Powders

Anti-aging
compounds with dubious claims proliferate. "Companies
are allowed to promote products that are not shown to be
safe and effective for any use. Consumers are essentially
on their own," says Larry Sasich, a research
associate at Public Citizen Health Research Group, a
consumer research organization in Washington.
"We don't even know who's making [some of] this
stuff and selling it in the US," he says , since
manufacturers no longer have to register with the
government. "This leaves the American public
essentially unprotected from dangerous dietary supplement
products."

Should
DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE be Banned?

The Beartown News Editor would like your
opinion on this important issue. The reasons for banning
DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE are listed below.1. Can cause excessive
sweating and vomiting.2. It is a major
component in acid rain.3. It can cause
severe burns in its gaseous state.4. Accidental
inhalation can kill you.5. It contributes to
erosion.6. It decreases
effectiveness of automobile brakes.7. It has been found
in tumors of terminal cancer patients.8. It has overrun the
majority of the earth.DIHYDROGEN
MONOXIDE is more commonly known as water.

The Smokey Bear Balloon

Amanda DeBear of Beartown is one of the
lucky passengers aboard the balloon as it passes the
halfway point in its trip around the world. It is
currently over Australia.