A 395-pound reputed Mafioso – living proof that pasta carbonara and home confinement is a recipe for a waistline disaster – had his bid to join a gym refused by a federal judge, who ordered him to try getting off the couch at home.

“You’re going to have to find some way to exercise at home. Get some videotapes,” Brooklyn federal Judge Nicholas Garaufis told the beefy John Mirabile. “Even if [you have] to rent some equipment to do it.”

Mirabile – who is wide enough for two wiseguys – claims the 30 pounds he’s gained since his March arrest on racketeering charges is exacerbating his asthma and diabetes.

The main ingredients of his heft problem? Lethargy and his wife’s special pasta with peas.

“I’m an expert at the remote control,” Mirabile said outside of court. “I wake up in the morning and try to diet, but it just doesn’t pan out by the end of the night.”

The allegedly felonious fatso – who faces racketeering charges of illegal gambling and cocaine conspiracy – had hoped Garaufis would grant special permission for him to leave his home to go to work out at a gym or do laps in a park.

But prosecutors strongly opposed the couch potato’s plan to work off the pounds in public, expressing concern that other reputed mobsters will be waiting to whisper by the Stairmaster.

“Home detention doesn’t mean he’s stuck on a couch all day. He’s allowed to run in his yard,” Assistant U.S. Attorney Greg Andres told Garaufis. “It’s simply not credible to think Mr. Mirabile is going to be running around the reservoir in Central Park.”

The feds claim Mirabile, 40, a reputed made man in the Bonanno crime family, has previously broken the bail rules by attending a wake without permission, and by passing mob messages through his wife.

Garaufis did loosen the belt on some of Mirabile’s restrictions that prohibited him from driving his fourth-grader to and from her Bensonhurst school, and forced him to shell out big bucks for a guard.