Real estate agents: what they say vs what they actually mean

As semester two fast approaches, you may be considering taking one step closer to adulthood and moving out of home into a share house for the first time.

Getting into a rental property can be a tiring and downright painful task with all those inspections and applications. And it’s not easy with all of those tricky words real estate agents use in the ads.

If you don’t understand what they really mean, you could end up spending hours looking at places that aren’t your style and not what you’re looking for.

To give you a helping hand, we’ve decoded some of the cheeky terms agents can use so you know what you’re really getting yourself into next time you’re searching for a place.

What they say: “Cosy bedroom.”

What they mean: “This bedroom is legit tiny.”

Be warned, this bedroom is bloody small. So small, in fact, that you’ll probably only be able to fit a bed. A single bed. If you don’t own anything other than a bed, and have no desire to, then this won’t be a problem for you. However for the other 99 per cent of us, this is a sign you’re about to walk into a space smaller than Harry Potter’s cupboard under the stairs.

What they say: “Tidy, well-presented bathroom.”

What they mean: “This bathroom was constructed in the ’80s.”

The bathroom the agent is talking about is one that is small enough for you to take a shower while sitting on the toilet. It’s also likely to be the original bathroom that was built when the house was. This means it was probably constructed sometime in the ’80s, has a horrid pink tiles and makes you feel unclean just walking into it.

What they say: “Off-street parking available.”

What they mean: “You’ll spend an hour on average looking for a park.”

Depending on where the place is located this may or may not be a problem. If the place is anywhere in or near a city and you own a car, this probably means you’ll spend an hour each day looking for somewhere to park, and then have to walk five blocks back to your actual house. If you don’t have a car, then this probably isn’t something that will be much of an issue for you.

What they say: “Convenient location.”

What they mean: “You’re close to a pub that makes noise 24/7.”

This place is also probably super close to a train station or bus stop. Whether or not this is a problem for you will depend on what you’re looking for. If you enjoy constantly hitting the town and being out and about, then you’ll probably love this feature.

However, if you’re more of a homebody, the noise and constant crowds of people from these places will probably just drive you insane. If you’re someone who doesn’t own a car and needs access to public transport, this is probably a winning feature for you.

What they say: “Easy to maintain living area.”

What they mean: “The living room is almost as small as the ‘cosy bedroom.’”

Basically, entertaining people better not be your thing. You should also get used to the idea that you and your roomies will be squeezing onto your two-seater couch to watch TV.

Originally appeared on Hijacked
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