They must be ring tones that havebeen downloaded or emailed. That’sthe only way so many people couldhave them.Ally surfs the net.

ALLY (CONT’D)

Some sites are free, others you paysomething like 25 cents for it . Thequestion is, how did your voice getonto the Internet?

DAVE

I can’t imagine.

ALLY

Okay here’s a listing ofdownloadable ring tones. The topfive right now are: “I love the BigBoobies,” “Mmm, Big Boobies,” andstrangely “Here’s Mister Tiny Prick.”Did you say all of these things?

DAVE

I may have. I say a lot of things.

ALLY

Were any of them “ I love the bigboobies”? and did you record it andpost it to the Internet?

DAVE

Not that I’m aware.

ALLY

What about a cell phone?

DAVE

I don’ t have one.

ALLY

Did you call someone and say thatstuff?

DAVE

I...um, look its no big deal .

ALLY

Oh, I don’t like the sound of this.When someone says ‘it’s no bigdeal’, it ’s always a big deal .

DAVE

I may have called Kathy the othernight from a party, and I may haveleft her a message that said thosethings. But I was drunk. I neverthought she would put the tape onthe web.

ALLY

But she often forwards calls to hercell. She could post it directly,somewhere. There’s no tape. Oh,that’s why you were there?

DAVE

Ally…

ALLY

At my apartment the other day. Itwasn’t to see me; it was to try andget the tape back.

DAVE

Ally, it's no bid deal. Whyfocus on why I was there? Lookwhat happened with us because ofit.

ALLY

No big deal? You were going tobreak into my place and steal fromme. I don’t think I can be aroundyou right now.

DAVE

Ally, c’mon. Let’s talk about this.

Ally is at the café door.

ALLY

Maybe you should find yourselfsome big boobies. You can playwith someone else’s for a while.

FADE OUT:

INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS – MONTAGEWe see Dave over the next day as his world is inundated with his drunk voice coming back to him from cell phones wherever he goes.

INT. DAVE’S OFFICE – DAYDave is in his office. The door is open. Out in the hallway studentsare walking by. From somewhere he hears his voice say “Mmm, bigboobies.”

STUDENT (O.C.)

Dude, what’s up?

Dave goes to the door and shuts it . He sits down and, after a moment of reflection, dials Ally’s number.

DAVE

Hi Ally, it’s Dave. I guess you’re out.I guess I should take the hint thatyou haven’t called me back but Ijust wanted you to know that I don’tlove big boobies. I love your boobies,and your legs and your smile andyour pretty brown eyes. I sure wantto see all of them again.

INT. ALLY’S APARTMENT – DAYAlly is standing by the phone, listening to Dave leave the message. She is smiling.

DAVE (ON PHONE)

I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you.I’ll be at the Beanery later today,because I really need to hear somegroovin’ guitar. I hope you’ll want totalk with me. Oh, you can post thisto the 'Net if you want. Bye.

INT. DAVE’S OFFICE – DAYDave hangs up the phone after calling Ally. Almost immediately it RINGS.

DAVE

Dave Morgan.

TOYNEBEE (ON PHONE)

It’s Ryan. Listen I know how thishappened.

DAVE

What?

TOYNEBEE (ON PHONE)

Turn on your computer.

DAVE

It’s on.

TOYNEBEE (ON PHONE)

Okay type in www dot drunkdialersdot com.

DAVE

Okay. It ’s loading… oh my God.

TOYNEBEE (ON PHONE)

Bingo! There you are dude.

We move in on the computer screen to see the website and a big picture of Dave with his name and the caption. “Funniest Drunk Call of the Year.”

TOYNEBEE (ON PHONE) (CONT’D)

You’re famous.

DAVE

I can’t believe Kathy did this to me.

TOYNEBEE (ON PHONE)

Look on the bright side. At least itcan’t get any worse.

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – DAYDave is walking across the quad to the lecture hall. He has been ignoring the cell phones that explode with his drunk voice every few feet. He had never been aware before of how many people have cell phones or how frequently they are called. At one of the message kiosks there are flyers posted advertising a party: "October Phone Fest – Dial Under the Influence and Love the Big Boobies for only $5."

Suddenly a swarm of kids come towards him each wearing a T-shirt with a different selection from his message printed on them.

INT. LECTURE HALL – DAYDave’s students are writing a quiz. Throughout the class there have been outbreaks of muffled laughter. Dave has sat silently at the front of the class watching them write. Occasionally he picks up a coffee mug with shaky hands.

DAVE

Okay time’s up. Put down your pensplease and pass your exams down tothe end of the row.

The class begins to follow the instructions. Over the rustle of passing papers we hear a WISE GUY.

WISE GUY

You got it Big Daddy.

Immediately the class erupts into uncontrolled LAUGHTER. It is too much for Dave.

DAVE

(shouting)

That’s it! Who said that? Who wasit?

Dave rushes up the steps.

DAVE (CONT’D)

I want to know who it was.

A student tries to hand him a stack of collected tests. Dave shoves her aside in his race to the back of the class.

We see the Wise Guy beating a hasty retreat out the back door.

DAVE (CONT’D)

I can see you! Come back here!

The aisle is too crowded for Dave to get up. He enters the seating area and frantically climbs over the seat backs, stumbling as he does so.

Dave finally reaches the back of the room. Out of breath, he rushes out of the auditorium door. The Wise Guy is lost in a sea of other students.

Thanks for your message, I am loving this even more with each part you post - as for your question on how to get it read by an agent - Sorry but I have no suggestions, I dont know how that whole scene works, but hey you could always list it on Ebay with a fantastic reserve price......then you might sell it? Just a thought....

Hey actually I just tried to post this and it didnt work so I came back to type a new verification number in and it came to me - go to my sidebar and there is a link there to Tonya, she has alot to do with movies, theater etc etc, she might know someone, or have a suggestion, she has published alot of books herself so you never know she might have some idea....good luck and let me know how you get on.