MATT DILLON & STEP BROTHER GUARD THE MONEY

In Armored, director Nimrod Antal takes us into the fast stakes, high paced world of the armored car guard, which apparently operates like a fraternity for grown-ups, much like the fire department or the cast of Stomp. But hold on to your girdle, grandma, because before you know it, there’s a heist plot. In a movie about armored cars? No effing way! Of course, things don’t quite go according to plan, because if they did it’d be an instructional video not a movie. Instead, the sh’t hits the fan Very Bad Things-style, and that sucks because no one likes a sh’t-covered fan, least of all MATT DILLON. Trust me on this one, bros.

Off topic-Rader Nation, The Mighty Feklahr moves to add an armored truck to our collection of BTK vehicles (which currently include the “Mystery Machine”, white-rusty-paedo-van, ice cream truck, and high school day trip bus).

All in favour???

BTK, erswi, it costs $700 to get the Mystery Machine detailed. Learn to clean up after yourself.

By: Shop 101

08.27.2009 @ 11:27 AM

An armored car movie without Eugene Levy in assless chaps is a poor excuse for entertainment. Or maybe I’m just spoiled.

By: Mark It Zero

08.27.2009 @ 11:27 AM

Armored Trailers really come in handy when the neighbors are up late throwing rusty toasters and empty PBR cans all over the damn trailer park because they think the CIA is laying in wait for them again.

By: Mark It Zero

08.27.2009 @ 11:30 AM

Armoured Trailers are made with only 100% real trailer parts. Not leftover scraps and additives like those other trailer brands.

By: Mark It Zero

08.27.2009 @ 11:33 AM

That trailer brings back terrible memories of my first girlfriends chastity belt. When it comes to explosive lock opening techniques, sometimes less is more.

R.I.P. Jenny 1983 – 1998

By: Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ

08.27.2009 @ 11:34 AM

I’d rather heist an Armour hot dog.

By: Donkey Hodey

08.27.2009 @ 11:41 AM

This is going to be the Transformers’ version of ‘Innerspace’.

By: Vodka

08.27.2009 @ 11:52 AM

Apparently Matt Dillon is still working with retards.

By: Donkey Hodey

08.27.2009 @ 12:02 PM

I wouldn’t let Matt Dillon guard my rock garden, let alone my money.

By: Mark It Zero

08.27.2009 @ 12:05 PM

I saw an episode of CSI: Miami like this once. They tracked down the robbers by finding powdered doughnut residue on the engine block of the armored truck. Apparently, it was one of the drivers! Anyway, to get to the point here, does this have David Caruso in it?

By: Donkey Hodey

08.27.2009 @ 12:17 PM

THAT’S DE MONAY!

*pours out his 40 for Harvey Korman*

By: Fek'lhr

08.27.2009 @ 12:20 PM

When He first read the title, He was sure it read “Guard the MONKEY”, and thought it was the new “nuke the fridge”.

Then He determined a monkey going apeshit in a locked up armoured van mauling and mutilating Matt Damon was a pretty solid idea.

…

What?

By: BadKarma

08.27.2009 @ 1:01 PM

Is this a prequel to “Heat”?

By: Erswi

08.28.2009 @ 9:39 AM

Fek, I told you that was clearly not my fault. I am not to be held responsible if Chodin cannot hold his liquor defecate.