Monday, November 8, 2010

Future and Past

The last six months have been like a roller coaster for me. I changed my thesis topic, I was frustrated of being wasting my time in the MSc, I was excited developing a new project (that I left in stand by :/ ), I found a nice thesis topic and now I have it approved, I realized that the only way to succeed is work harder and being quite strict with my time, I began the definition of what I want to do in life and also I began to close circles of my life, some circles that tie me to the past and don’t let me hope for a better future.

The dilemma of the last months has been that, the memories of a better past and the hope for an incredible future. I realized today that my past is hiding my future. The dream of a Love that will never come back has stuck me in Limbo, a place I want to quit but where old ghosts are tying me up. How do you kill these ghosts when they seem so nice and give some seconds of peace? How to be strong and leave behind the good old memories? How do you cut the “liaison” and take the adventure of life? These questions have been in my mind during the last months and now I realize that I need an answer, a simple but precise one.

Several options have crossed my mind, from quitting the MSc to search a Job abroad and start again. Maybe that’s what I need, to start again. Do you have to be so dramatic and start again? can you clean up your memories without changing your lifestyle? I don’t know. But what I know is that I need to clean up my mind, I need to feel the change, I need to feel that my life’s work worth something, I need to feel awesome again.

Then I remembered the quote of a famous movie that brought me a small smile and the feeling of hope:

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.