Divorcing Couple Play Football on Christmas Day

In a touching gesture of Christmas spirit, divorcing couple Joe and Paula Western decided to set aside their differences on Christmas day, starting with a rendition of “Silent Night” before moving on to a game of football in no-mans land, which is the area in between the garden shed and the house.

The house has seen some of the most brutal battles of the divorce, with barrages of legal letters fired by both sides until their finances were reduced to rubble and both sides were bogged down in a quagmire of ill feeling and petty squabbles.

“When this thing started, I thought it would all be over by Christmas” said Joe, looking exhausted after spending six months living in the shed. “It all began over Franz Ferdinand. I accused her of not putting one of their CDs back in the right place in the rack, and she retaliated by complaining about my snoring. Things escalated from there and once the lawyers got involved it soon turned into a war of attrition. I gained access to the power tools, and then she made a lightning raid on the dinner service. Pretty soon we were at stalemate with both of us bunkered down in defensive positions over the bread machine and pension rights.”

For her part, Paula made some good initial gains over access rights to the house, but had to retreat when the light bulbs needed changing in the kitchen and the washing machine waste pipe became blocked. “I will admit to some initial weaknesses” said Paula “But since I met the plumber with the big moustache and ballcock I’ve been making advances on a few fronts.”

“For one day at least, it will be all quiet on the Western Front.” Quipped Joe from his shed.