Considering how most real Hollywood movies are intrinsically offensive to the Taliban, not even just the ones with Arab terrorists, it’s kind of hard to imagine they’d notice a parody on a website somewhere.

In this movie, there would of course be the mandatory “raptor with a bomb strapped on it’s back, running towards the airport the president is about to land at, while our hero is riding/wrassling it, and trying to clip the red, no the blue, no the wait a second is there a tangerine wire with teal accents, only to have his wire clippers shot out of his hand at the last second and have to bite through the right wire while…” scene.

The raptor driving the jeep is the ‘good’ one: he can help our heros and die in the last reel. Of course he has a funny accent.

Juanita Di Campo has a tour de force performance kicking away the baby pterodactyls as the greater doom of the trudging stegosaur artillery brigade threatens to grind her bones into the dust. Brava, Ms. Campo!