where every day is an adventure

Social Anxiety: People don’t care as much as you think.

Anxiety can make you feel like you are standing alone in the rain, with nowhere to hide.

Part of my Anxiety is worrying about what people think of me. I spend a lot of time worrying what people think about me. It used to really bother me, a lot. I have really spent too much time worrying about this. Recently I got over it a little, and it’s a little embarrassing how.

When we first moved here I met a girl, we exchanged phone numbers. She seemed nice enough. But my social anxiety got the best of me and I never called her. I would tell myself that, she never called me either, but I still bothered the hell out of me. I felt guilty, I felt like she must hate me because I never called her. She didn’t really live near us enough to see her often, but she was near enough that it’s very possible I would run into her, and the thought of running into her was terrifying.

After months and months of worrying that she hated me I got a text.

“I just found this number in my phone, how do I know you”

I tried explaining that we had met, and how

“not remembering, sorry, maybe was it blah blah blah”

I explained that no, we met this way, and I was sure

After this she repeated that she had no idea who I was, she sent a few texts after that, trying to remember who I was, but I quit replying. I wasn’t going to waste my time trying to remind someone who I was. I was embarrassed because when I met her our families spent a couple hours together before we parted ways, and she didn’t remember me. I was embarrassed because I had spent MONTHS worrying about whether or not she hated me. There were times when the anxiety about this was awful.

That is when I decided I wasn’t going to worry so much about what people think of me. Because those people you are worrying about, they aren’t spending nearly as much time thinking about you. Every time I think “I wonder if she hates me” or anything of the sort, I remember this situation. I still have the worry about other people liking me, and guilt over not getting together with people, but It’s not nearly as bad now. I guess I owe this girl a thank you.

It’s not worth it in the end. Normally I put people out of my mind right away unless I truly hit it off with them. And I mean that’s like texting them or messaging them the next day kind of hit it off. I’m really selective in general with who I am friends with so I totally understand!!!

I think everyone worries about stuff like this to a point. I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older though. I’m not one to initiate stuff (unless I know you or am internet friends with you!), so I just assume people don’t remember me. That way it’s not awkward.