As Bill noted, Mike Scioscia will catch the ceremonial first pitch tonight, thrown by Fernando Valenzuela. As they are both very old for baseball players, this is an opportunity for people to tell jokes. Here’s the press interviewing Scioscia before tonight’s game:

Q. Are you gonna squat to catch?

A. If I squat it’s not going to be by design and if I go down, have a crane ready to get me up. Best way I can put it.

Q. What are you gonna do if he shakes you off?

A. Walk off the field. Nah I’ll put down another sign like I always did.

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