Monday, 28 November 2011

Chatting with a friend the other day she said that she could deep-throat and often enjoyed it. However she hated it when a man held her head and forced himself into her mouth.

I wondered if the easy availability of so much porn with this kind of activity has made some men believe that behaviour like this is acceptable without having gained consent. Has porn made too many men confuse the line between fantasy and reality?

This is even more the case in BDSM. There is so much porn available of women being seriously hurt and appearing to enjoy it and get off on it. It is of course fantasy but is presented as reality. Yes there are many subs who can get off on pain in certain circumstances but as with vanilla porn what appears in videos is very different from what goes on in most peoples bedrooms.

I am worried that in a BDSM context it could cause inexperienced Doms to have inappropriate expectations that could put their subs at risk.

In terms of presenting unrealistic fantasy I am guilty of that myself. Some of my fantasies have appeared in writing in my Beau blog and the Dragonfly Geisha blog as well as elsewhere. They are fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that - unless of course readers expect real life to be like that. Then it can get dangerous.

Have any readers had experience of unrealistic expectations possibly caused by porn? Do any of you have views about the good and bad use of pornography?

Thursday, 17 November 2011

The desires expressed in comments to my previous post by subs - for Doms with at least a degree of wickedness, if not downright evil, reminded me of some posts written several years ago. There I bemoaned the fact that it was the bad guy who always seemed to get the girl.

Monday, 14 November 2011

In the comments to my last post Shadow described himself as an evil Dom. I wondered whether subs would be attracted more to an evil Dom than a kind one. Shadow felt that the evil Dom definitely had an advantage. Anna also recognised the appeal of a evil dom.

I am sure there may be times when I have a glint in my eye when I may play the part of the evil Dom - but deep down I hope I cannot be truly evil but instead my kindness will ensure my subs know they are safe.

However I do wonder whether many subs secretly crave the danger of an evil Dom and whether or not it is important to know if they scratch the surface that there is some care and kindness there also.

Monday, 7 November 2011

blossom has recent published a post here asking readers to say what kind of 'slut' they are. So far readers have suggested ideas such as "faithful slut", "submisive slut" and "obedient slut".

It got me thinking about applying the same idea to Doms when I recollected I called this blog "a kind Dom". After my first meeting with a sub friend she described me as "a sensual Dom". I rather liked that and have used it since.

So I wonder if other Doms have a characteristic they use to describe themselves or whether subs have a word they would use to describe their Dom.

About Me

A Dom who feels he doesn't fit into the mould of "Dom-ness" trying to explore his own nature and feelings and some thoughts about D/s.
Pygar was not a Dom. He was an angel. He was also blind. But he did get to shag Jane Fonda!

Recently on Uncle Agony ...

Sticking point
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Mary emailed me again recently. Things seem to be going very well for her
but she has a problem. I'll let her explain:
I have a question that you and perha...

5 months ago

Me elsewhere ...

As well as Uncle Agony I do have another blog which I publish occasionally as Beau. It is intended as more light hearted and not to be taken too seriously though I used also to write occasional erotica there.

There is also some of my erotica published on Dragonfly Geisha under the names of Beau, Takumi and Katashi.