Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

Recent miscarriage, sister pregnant....

I just finished a 2-month miscarriage (lasted much longer than my pregnancy, which terminated at 6 weeks). I took misoprostol at home to induce, which was excruciating as many of you know, but then bled/spotted for almost 2 months. Finally got my hcg to zero and stopped spotting, only to land in the ER with blinding pain that they couldn't diagnose or give me anything for (other than strong ibuprofin). This kept on for 4 days, when I finally passed a large (2-inch) piece of tissue and all bleeding stopped. I was so relieved I started singing and downed a few glasses of champagne even though it was 11am. That was two weeks ago, and I'm positive the miscarriage is fully over.

My sister, who I'm very close to, has two beautiful children from two uncomplicated pregnancies/births. She told me at the beginning of this week that she's 9 1/2 weeks pregnant...a surprise and totally unplanned. She was gentle and kind, and made sure to wait until I was through with my physical distress before she told me, but I just. don't. know. what. to. do. She got pregnant as I was miscarrying.

I don't have any children and just want ONE little baby, and we've been trying for 2 years, and this miscarriage was so godawful, and my other best friend is due in September (I think she tried for one, maybe two cycles), and I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm thinking terrible things about my sister who has DONE NOTHING WRONG, but it feels as if she picked up a knife and stabbed me in the back, knowingly, while I was already broken and trembling on the ground. I don't know what to do, and I know that nothing will help.

I sort of just want to be here to support other women who have gone through anything like this, and be supported by other women who have gone through anything like this, and share our grief and pain and hurt and rage. I'm so, so sorry if you've had a miscarriage. I'm so, so sorry that you have to see friends, family, sisters, enemies, strangers with bellies and babies. It's cruel and sinister, and my heart breaks for all of you.

Thanks for your openness about all the pain you've gone through. I can empathize with that feeling of loss while seeing others basking in the glow of a healthy pregnancy. We may not be in the place of being able to be happy for others when we ourselves are destroyed, but we can hope to maybe get there someday.

I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart breaks for you. I am going through something similar as my sister in law and I were due within a day of each other. I lost my baby in March just shy of 10 weeks. It's very hard to see my SIL and to see her belly as the due date quickly approaches. Although I am happy for her, i break down in tears every time i see her. Everyone says time heals but then more time passes the worse I feel. I'm constantly reminded as friends/family are pregnant and thriving and I can't help but feel bad for myself and wonder why this happened. We have been TTC for the last three months and we haven't been successful. It's very tough to see others with their babies and bellies and hear their stories of how they weren't really trying, as we struggle. I am so tired of feeling sad and angry. It's really comforting to know that there are places such as this where we can let it all out and feel supported and understood. You are not alone and I am so sorry for your loss.

I have recently went through a similar situation. I found out that I was pregnant around the end of May and at my 1st ultrasound (8 week scan) the baby was only measuring 6 weeks, but we could see a heartbeat. So we were hoping for the best (I have been blessed with one beautiful boy), although I was really worried since I had a miscarriage before. So we made an appointment to do another ultrasound in two weeks. Well, a few days after that I woke up in the middle of the night and had a bad feeling. It was like all of a sudden I just knew that my baby wasn't alive anymore. Everyone that I talked to about it just told me to think positive and that everything would be okay. My sister and I are very close and she was also pregnant at the time, but she was nearly due to have her baby. She happened to have an appointment around the same time the day I had my appointment at the same office so we were there together as our Mom watched our kids in the lobby. So it turned out the 2nd scan showed that my baby stopped developing a few days after the 1st scan. It was very hard to come out afterwards and tell my Mom and sister that my baby died, when my sister's appointment showed her baby was healthy and that the doctor wanted to induce her at the end of the week. I was happy for my sister, but it was hard because it made the news of my failed pregnancy sting that much more. Later that week I was in the hospital to support my sister during her labor and delivery and just trying to not think about my situation while she had her baby. It was very bittersweet to hold her baby girl as I had felt my baby was a girl. At the end of that day there was a moment that brought all my feelings to the surface and I just starting balling. I couldn't stop the tears so I quickly left because I didn't want to make my sister feel bad. So long story short I ended up taking misoprostol to start the miscarriage a week later. It was very painful physically and emotionally. Much harder than my 1st miscarriage. Now I'm feeling almost back to normal, but I've been feeling depressed and there are so many reminders like when 2 of your friends are due around the same time I would have been. I love my sister so much! She now has 4 beautiful children and has never had a miscarriage. I feel bad for feeling jealous, but I think these feelings are natural and I do feel like it stings a little less as time goes on. I hope as time passes you start to feel the pain lessen and that you will soon have your dream of your own little baby.

Girls I'm really sorry for all of you who had to go through a miscarriage. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you. I'm infertile because I was born without a uterus. But my friend had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago. It was her first pregnancy and she lost her baby on 7th month. My heart is tearing apart when I look at her. I want to help so much but only time can cure such pain. She was so happy when she got to know about her pregnancy... I try my best to find the right words. But in this situation they're probably no words exist which can help. I wish all of us to become mothers of healthy babies as soon as possible. No one in this world should lose their children.

What a terrible experience you've had! I just had a missed miscarriage. My early ultrasound showed 8 weeks of full development, but no heartbeat. I chose to have a D&C since I'd heard that induction via misoprostal can be painful - I had the procedure yesterday so these feeling are still fresh in my mind. This was our first pregnancy, after 8 months of trying to get pregnant. I feel sad and grief stricken for our loss, angry at the universe for making us a statistic rather than the norm, and resentful at all the women in my life who had successful pregnancies. A couple days ago my sister in law randomly brought up the fact that miscarriage is a big issue that people don't talk about so there isn't a lot of support for women going through it. She didn't know we were pregnant and in the process of dealing with a miscarriage, so it was just poor timing, but I got so upset. She has two beautiful children from two uneventful pregnancies. While her point was true, she has no idea what it feels like and how can she talk so candidly about miscarriage. I don't wish this experience on her, or on anyone, I'm just bitter right now. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this horrible experience. The only optimism I can offer is that you've gotten pregnant once, so chances are good that you can get pregnant again. That isn't really much of a consolation, but right now it's the only positive thing to hold onto.

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