Wednesday, November 28, 2007

'Figures' On Wheels

The journey back home from college is long and boring, especially if it's a half a day because public transport is the only way out. To my relief, it was a lot interesting today inspite of having just one other person to talk to. Our topic of discussion during the course of this punishing 20km journey was "How women drive on the roads?". I assure you that it's one perennial source of entertainment. If you have seen women drive on roads you may understand what I am talking about. Thus, with all due respect to womenfolk, I am going ahead with this post. Please forgive me :)

Senseless. This is just one apt word to describe the way women drive. It is just a question of how this senselessness is achieved.

The mention of rash driving conjures up images of men in super fast bikes (minus the silencer). Why women get this "angely" image is what baffles me. The way some of them drive leaves you in awe - poraanga da Valentino Rossi paeththi. [Requested not drill into details like if Rossi really has paeththi. Certain assumptions have been made considering that he is the only MotoGP racer I know of.] Speed is fine as long as you have the control - proper reflexes are of utmost importance. This is invariably lacking for reasons unknown.

This is coupled by their "All's mine" attitude. The entire stretch of tar is completely at their disposal.

WOMEN's DRIVING PROCESS

* Press accelarator and you move forward.

* The harder you press, the faster you move.

* Usage of brakes wears out the tyres.

* Use brakes only when you wish to come to complete halt [read: when you wish to park]

* This is a competitive world and you should let absolutely nothing stop you.Squash your obstacles.

This is a checklist and they make sure they adhere to it. In short, it's their appan veettu roadu.

The other category consists of snail lovers and tortoise admirers. Those who perhaps, one upon a time, drove for jaanvaasams, progressing at a rate slower than their favorite mega serials. They prefer to go along the pavement or on it. They still are a great deal of nuisance; to pedestrians.

It may look like I am exaggerating when I say that some even keep their feet near the ground so that they have the confidence that they can balance themselves, but I AM NOT. Witnessed this yesterday and I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Another example of this : MY MOM

It is no less funny to watch them drive a four wheeler - sitting erect like never before so that they can catch a glimpse past the steering wheel. Aerodynamics doesn't suit them. Sweating profusely and full of concentration. This, am referring to the middle aged women. The young blood adhere to the above checklist without fail.

As if this were not enough, you get to witness more [no double meaning intended]. The "accessories" which they sport while driving a vehicle. Some wear a dust filter mask or whatever. Protection from pollutants, fine enough. Some others mask their face with their dupattas in such a fashion that they look like Afghans. And there are others, Aravind Swamy's cousin sisters, who wear a long white glove to avoid their skin from getting tanned. Kaathotam-a irukkanum-nu sleeveless onnu poattu, karuththuda koodathu-nu maela oru glove. Ithellam oru polappa??

Am not saying that men are perfect at driving. But, witnessing all this, it is just natural for me to gather that men have a better road sense.

Have you seen the face of a person when he gets out of the car after teaching a lady how to drive? Well, if you have, then you would agree with me :)