Tara Jean Bernier writes — sometimes.

Because if you don’t laugh . . .

Two conversations, in which my tone was terse and bedtime ready. I had been dodging their idonwannnagetreadyforbed volleys for going on an hour — Robotically getting them cleaned, and dressed, and attending to their oral hygiene — I tucked them in – Gave them appropriate cover, and handed over perfunctory kisses. When all seemed settled, I started turning lights off around the apartment and discovered —

“So what you’re saying — Keegan – is that you thought it was a good idea to pee — not only in a bucket of bath toys but all over the bathroom floor?”

“Uh, yeah. Toliets are borin’.”

I’m not saying toilets are creative works of art — but what the actual fuck.

Five minutes later while cleaning human nastiness from the floor of the bathroom– the older one walks in (having been tucked in before the pee was discovered).

“Mom.”

“What Kai?”

You know, music has really been there for me in some tough times in my life.”

“Oh, yeah? Your tough times?”

“Okay, maybe like three times, maybe one. The point is mom, music, is great.”

I told him to go to bed — but the last couple minutes of cleanup, I chuckled intermittently — because while my frustration level was just about to go — I was saved by the ridiculousness of both of them. My Keegan is so irreverent, and my Kai, so earnest. They are my perfect loves. I just need them to work on their aim and timing — and I imagine, it will get easier.