Back in the time of which I am speaking, due to our Coordinators had mandated us, we had all seen that educational video of "It's Yours to Do With What You Like!" in which teens like ourselfs speak on the healthy benefits of getting off by oneself and doing what one feels like in terms of self-touching, which what we learned from that
video was, there is nothing wrong with self-touching, because love is a mystery but the mechanics of love need not be, so go off alone, see what is up, with you and your relation to your own gonads, and the main thing is, just have fun, feeling no shame!"posted by semmi (21 comments total)

that was some of the most horribly awkward english i have ever read.posted by Hammerikaner at 5:31 PM on January 22, 2003

George Saunders is a genius - one of his stories, Pastoralia, which also appeared in the New Yorker, has to be the funniest thing I've read. Trust me: this man is allowed to use English any way he wants.posted by stonerose at 5:48 PM on January 22, 2003

Hear hear. Saunders is brilliant beyond brilliant. Every piece of his writing is like a step into some insane yet logical world that is completely formed but as yet nonexistent. Check out his last piece in the New Yorker, which did the advertising-just-for-you-in-context idea better than Minority Report and added in a bit of Ben Katchor-esque wistful nostalgia just for good measure. Inspiring, frightening and hilarious.posted by notclosed at 5:52 PM on January 22, 2003

eddydamascene - thanks for the link. I read "My Flamboyant Grandson" when it was in the magazine, but had forgotten all about it.posted by GriffX at 7:59 PM on January 22, 2003

Not to be too picky but next time, maybe printer friendly?
It should always be the preferred link.posted by y2karl at 8:48 PM on January 22, 2003

. . . printer friendly? It should always be the preferred link.

That strikes me as odd. Why would I prefer to view the printer-friendly version of something that I'm, by nature of the medium in which it's presented, looking at on-screen? Did I miss a memo?posted by vraxoin at 10:52 PM on January 22, 2003

I loved this. It makes me feel like when you look around and everything is in black and white and dull like an old movie, but then you drink the Tropicana orange juice and then suddenly everything is bright and fun (LI 76543), like on MTV and you remember that life really is worth living. You know?

I was expecting to hate this, not being a fan of dialect writing, but it turned out to be an amazingly good story.

Thanks!

(Reminds me of what happens when I spend a few hours fine-tuning Spam filters right before bedtime, when Amazing Herbal Remedies help me sleep so that I can Work From Home and make millions that I won't need because Chief Paul Obi is going to send me Six Million United States Dollars as soon as I submit the necessary paperwork, and then I'll be able to Reduce my Debt, Find Out Anything About Anyone, and Look Younger and Lose Weight, because after all, Size Does Matter.)posted by mmoncur at 3:32 AM on January 23, 2003

i was totally confused by this at first. i thought it was some 5-10 year old kids' writing competition! very good though.

fans of this should check out james kelman's translated accounts, which is brilliant so far (although i haven't finished it yet).posted by nylon at 5:40 AM on January 23, 2003

A sleepaway camp for teenagers, covered wall to ceiling in product advertisements, and tended by old men with a vested interest in brainwashing their charges?

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