18 January 2013

On transgressing civic boundaries...

Michty. I don't much care for your sex scandals, myself, but it seems that both the Heraldand the Scotsman have got the wrong end of the stick in their reporting of a certain civic leader's being reported to the procurator fiscal. As usual, however, one may rely on Ecclefechan Mackay (MA) of the Kinlochbervie Chronicle to give you the inside track, and identify the real scandal in today's edition of the north west's organ of record. Unfortunately, the publication is still only published offline and available within a 5 mile radius of Kinlochbervie. Here's a snippet of the relevant article, which I was able to have smuggled out.

Glasgow City Council leader, Gordon Matheson, has today apologised for a "gross error of judgement" after being caught playing away from home. Matheson admitted performing a
"sex act" at an undisclosed location in Cathcart last month in breach of council protocol. The council confirmed police reported the matter to the procurator
fiscal but it has been decided no further action will be taken.

The convention, instituted under former Lord Provost Pat Lally in 1876 as part of the "Glasgow Miles Better" campaign, requires councillors not to engage in sexual encounters outside of their own wards. The Labour politician, who represents the Anderston ward in the city,
admitted that his behaviour had "crossed the boundaries which voters rightly expect me to observe" and expressed
"heartfelt apologies" to his Linn colleagues for his "senseless"
breach of etiquette. Opposition members were quick to condemn the council leader's slip.
"It's a courtesy which we all expect every elected member to honour and observe," SNP
councillor Jim McArdle said. "And it isn't always easy, I can tell you. I was
in this pub up in the West End last week when this smouldering [redacted. redacted]."

Former baillie and city treasurer, Tam Scallion, described the Lally convention as "part of the fabric of Glaswegian civic life", continuing "I'm obviously very disappointed that the current leadership aren't upholding our cherished traditions. Glasgow deserves better". Another former councillor who did not wish to be named, Pat Lally, 224, told the Chronicle: "In my day, a Dennistoun boy caught getting a sly handjob in Govan could expect his jotters. Deselected quick as you like. I tell you, it's not the city it was in my day."

One long-term Anderston resident and Labour voter, Jack Malloy, told the Chronicle: "We all felt really let down here, to be honest. Betrayed. You can't move in Anderston and City for cubby holes and shady nooks. The parking provision is excellent. I can't see what Cathcart has to offer that he can't get in spades here."

It is understood that the Labour party has accepted Matheson's apology and will continue to support him in his position as party and council leader. A spokesman said: "the Lally convention is a rule which has served Glasgow well, and will continue to serve the city well, bringing elected representatives closer to the people. "

2 comments
:

Ta LPW made me laugh. Glad to see the SNP opposition in Glasgow are observing the convention that used to exist (but doesn't any more) between Rangers and Celtic of not gloating about issues not considered fair game.

Doubtless this is due in part to awareness that on-the-bones situations occur in other party closets but still, well played SNP. Unfair to kick a man when he's going down.

I was visiting family in St Mungo Avenue last year and there was for a wee while a banner celebrating the coonsil's achievements in the area with a big pic of GM's sonsie face - soon embellished with some strong observations and eventually removed.

Can he survive? Of course he can, if he doesnt mind people sniggering. It's not comparable to the Purcell affair, when Purcell absolutely had to resign.

“I think of him more of a long nosed, elegantly coiffed Afghan pawing through his leather bound library whilst disdainfully inhaling a puddle of Armagnac in an immense crystal snifter. If he can also lift his leg over his shoulder and lick his balls...” ~ Conan the Librarian™

“... the erudite and loquacious Peat Worrier who never knowingly avoids a prolix circumlocution.” ~Love and Garbage

“My initial mind picture was of a scanty bikini'd individual wallowing in a bath tub of peat. However I've since learned to warm to him, and like peat he's slow to draw but quick to heat...” ~Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers

Definition: "to worry peat" v.

"Peat worrying" is the little known or understood process for the extraction of cultural peat, practised primarily in the Lowlands of Scotland by aspirant urban rustics. Primary implements by means of which successful "worrying" is achieved include the traditional oxter-flaughter but also the sharp-edged kailyard and the innovative skirlie stramasher.