June 23, 2012

I have recently discovered that somebody out there in the world has began following me (in the none threatening way). I decided that this preposterous idea must be somebody acting as the epitome of kindness, sarcasm, or perhaps ridiculousness. Whatever your reasoning was to wish to read more of my forgotten slurs, thank you.

The latter half of my heading is reference to a story I want to tell. It’s one that dismays and disheartens all who hear it, catching them in a bitter distrust of life.

I was on a beach in Malaysia in Batu Feringhi (I think). In the heat and superfluous amounts of Tiger beer in my bladder, I decided to have a swim in the sea. My fate was sealed. I released what needed to be and began to swim back. On this journey I felt something wrap around my leg, down and over my foot, ending with the tip of my big toe. This was, of course, a jelly fish and as its sting travelled with precision down my leg I realised this… So unleashed hell. I grew up with those in that famous gang ‘the wrong crowd’, so have partaken in many humerous, sub-legal, activities, this meant I wasn’t taking this jelly fish shit. I unleashed my wrath and fury, hurling my fists through the water, determined to destroy what was stinging me. The fight raged for a massive two seconds until I felt myself being discarded, just as delicately as the attack had begun.

Reaching the beach I explained what had just taken place. Jovially describing the truculent attack, I remembered what to do in the event of a jelly fish sting: piss on it. I’d gone in for that purpose and only just as I’d finished was I stung, if only I’d waited. So now fate had dealt two blows, I had been stung by jellied evil, and now had no urine to douse my prickly wound with. Why, God? Why?…

Jack Robinson (A.K.A Jack)

The jelly fish and I have discussed the events and agreed to move on, we now keep in regular contact. Her name is Esmerelda and she paints, taking inspiration from Kandinsky.