....And the Lord said unto Noah: "Where is the ark which I have
commanded thee to build ?"

And Noah said unto the Lord: "Verily, of my seven carpenters, two
are TDY, one is on leave, one is short and not worth a denaurius, and
the other three have not yet reached their five level in boat
building. Of a Truth, the Gopher-wood supplier with whom we
contracted according to appropriated funds guidelines hath let me
down--yea, even though the gopher-wood hath been on order for nigh
upon 12 months. What can I do, O Lord? I am undone."

And God said unto Noah: "I want that ark finished even after seven
days and seven nights."

And Noah said: "It shall be so, Lord."

And it came not to be so. And the Lord said unto Noah: "What
seemeth to be the trouble this time ?"

And Noah said unto the Lord: "O Lord, be merciful unto me, for my
O.P.R. is in jeopardy. Surely thou knowest that being project officer
does not mean thou canst simply command and it is done."

And God said: "How well I knowest !"

And Noah said: "Hear, O Lord, my woes. Mine civilian sub-contractor
hath gone bankrupt. The pitch which Thou commandest me to put on the
inside and outside of the ark is unavailable due to budget cutbacks.
The plumbing work which went to the lowest bidder hath sprung a leak
and I cannot locate him. Shem, my son, who helpeth me on the ark side
of the business, hath formed a pop group with his brothers, Ham and
Japheth. Woe is me !"

And the Lord grew angry and said: "And what about the animals, the
male and female of every sort that I ordered to come unto thee to keep
their seed alive upon the face of the earth ?"

And Noah said: "They were delivered unto the wrong address, but
should arriveth on Friday."

And the Lord said: "What about the unicorns, and the fowls of the
air by sevens ?"

And Noah said: "Lord, unicorns are a discontinued line: Thou canst
not get them for love nor money. And fowls of the air are sold only
in lots of 10. Lord, you knowest how it is.

And the Lord in his wisdom said: "Noah, my son, I knowest. Why else
dost thou think I wouldst cause a flood to descend upon the earth ?"