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2 years, and hopefully counting...

after 2 years of marriage, this is what a picture of my husband and i looks like. we have been married 2 years today.

at least this is what a picture of my husband and i looks like, after 20 attempts of trying to take a good self picture of us.

this also happens to be one of my favorite pictures of us ever. it is so us.

matthew says he can't make himself look especially good in pictures, but he can make himself look especially bad. this makes me giggle.

i love to take self pictures. i am a pro. i have been practicing self picture taking for 20 years. matthew is still just learning. i have only been shoving a camera in front of us with an outstretched arm for about 4 years.

i can make my eyes look really huge, and my double chin disappear... pro i tell you. if only there was a career in self picture taking.

this is the beautiful ring my husband bought me, on my chubby little finger. it is my favorite ring in the whole entire world.

we had been dating for about a year and a half when we went to browse at engagement rings. we will just look, so you can know what kind of rings i like. i thought i wanted a princess cut solitaire. this is not anything close to a princess cut solitaire. but i saw the engagement ring in the clearance case. yes the clearance case. i don't pay full price for anything. i was in ring love. it was sized to a 3 1/2, i tried it on on my pinkie, and i shed a tiny tear. there was no other ring for me.

matthew said if we got it that it didn't mean we were getting engaged right now. he wasn't kidding. he waited 5 months to ask me. i nearly died everyday he didn't ask. and when he did, it was perfect for him... and i was the happiest girl in the world. 15 minutes after he proposed to me he said "i should have done that a long time ago, i just want to be married now." i sighed and laughed and rolled my eyes a little.

i am a planner. i plan and replan, budget and rebudget, make lists and lists and fill pages and pages with plans and dreams, and order perfect beautiful order. i want things planned to perfection, every possible outcome and surprise worked into my plan, so that everything goes off without a hitch. i plan weeks, months, years in advance for everything. i like to have order and have everything be complete. ask anyone i know. it is annoying beyond belief. i even annoy myself.

i was the worst bride ever. i hated every minute of planning that darn wedding. all i wanted was to be matthew's wide, and for matthew to be my husband. i didn't care about anything else.

my entire life i dreamed about a huge elaborate wedding with hundreds of guests, clinking crystal and sipping champagne, centerpieces covering the whole table and fine linens. i dreamed of horse drawn carriages and black ties. silk and lace and pearls and diamonds galore. i pictured ice sculptures and chandeliers. so many flowers the scent filled the air, and the pale glow of candles everywhere. in my mind there was a string quartet beckoning me down the aisle, and a live band encouraging dance and comradery. i thought i wanted an elaborate and beautiful wedding cake that was as delicious as was it was showy. i dreamt of everyone dancing and mingling into the night, losing track of all time and sense of consequence. i dreamed of parisian honeymoons, and romance and wine. i wanted a dreamy, princessy, perfect wedding that my guests would speak of for years and decades to come.

and i thought i would be a bridezilla... because i AM always right, and this day was more important than any other. i just knew everyone would hate me while i planned this wedding, and i didn't care. it was my day.

my wedding was nothing like that. it was simple and honest and about us and nothing else.

my entire life i was wrong. matthew and i made it perfect. our love is what made it the dream. nothing else mattered. not the flowers, or the candles, or the decorations. not the dresses or the hair, or the make-up. not the tuxes or the shoes or the jewelry. not the food or the dj or the cake.

all that mattered was matthew and i, and having our loved ones stand by us, no matter what.

all that mattered were the smiling faces, the laughs, and tears; the hugs and kisses and prayers.

what made it a dream, what made it perfect, were the vows we made. to always love each other through turmoil, strife, and bad hair days. through sorrow, bankruptcy, and weight gain. to respect each other, and choose love; even when we want to choose anger, hate, and spite. to make it easy for the other one to love us in everything we do. to put God first in everything, knowing without Him we would fail. to honor, support, respect, cherish, and love until the very end.

and here we are two years later. feeling like we have spent a lifetime together, knowing we have a lifetime remaining to love and learn and grow.

in only 2 years we have grown, and learned, and laughed, and cried. we have changed. we were faced with all the ugly parts in each other, and even more with the ugly parts in ourselves. and we chose to love. we chose to change. we chose God over all. we chose us.

there were more good times than bad, more joy than sorrow, more rewards than we ever could have dreamed. there is no other place i would rather be than by husbands side, and i know he feels the same. there is no one else that would put up with me, know every depth of my soul, and love me just the same. there is no other hand i would want to put mine in, no other eyes i would like to see my reflection in. there is no one else in the world for me. he is my everything.

we will grow old, fat and tired together, and i we wouldn't want to do it alone. our lives will change; we will become mom and dad, and aunt and uncle, and grandma and grandpa. our jobs may change, our homes may change, our hearts may even change.

we will always have each other, we will always love each other, we will always choose us. and we will always have our friends and family, and their love, support, and prayers.

in the end, our simple small town wedding was a dream, it was perfection. it was more than i could have ever dreamed, because it was the beginning of matthew and i. it was the beginning of forever, it was a picture of our love. it was our vows, and the blessings, and the family. it was the simplicity, the love, the hope. in the end it wasn't the wedding, or the details, the hustle and the bustle, it wasn't the money spent, or fancy food and decorations. all that mattered was matthew and melinda. all that mattered was our friends and family. all that mattered was the celebration of love and the beginning of forever. and that is the dream, that is perfection, and it has been for the last 2 years. and i would not change a thing about our wedding, i would not change a thing about our life. because in the end, all that matters is us relying on God, all that matters is us.