On My Mind

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Yesterday my Ethan turned 12. My sweet, emotion driven athlete. 12 years ago today I woke in the hospital by my OB/GYN saying "We were just attacked by Paris?" WTH? was all I could think of while trying to wake. My confusion registered because my physician again stated, "We were just attacked by terrorists." He flipped on the TV for us to see the 2nd plane fly into the 2nd tower. My heart fell and I instantly asked myself what kind of world did I just deliver this sweet innocent baby into? For the next few weeks all I could watch was coverage on one of the worst days in history for the United States during every waking moment with a newborn. Many moments I held him to feed and just cried while staring at the television often until the wee hours of the morning.
Today marks the 12the anniversary and it all feels so real and raw as if it happened yesterday.
3000 people lost their lives so innocently. Many died running into the building to save anybody and everybody while others died trying to run out.

Many images are forever ingrained into my mind, but the ones that stand out the most are the photos of the people of NYC covered in ash emerging from somewhere close to the chaos. There wasn't a look of panic on their faces or sadness or weariness, just a look of pure emptiness. A total state of shock. I wanted to wrap my arms around them and tell them that in a moment brought on by pure hatred, they were safe and loved. What broke my heart was I couldn't do that to the 3000 that lost their lives that day. I couldn't do that to the moms, dads, brothers, sisters, wives, husbands, children, unborn children of those 3000 who perished.

Fire Chaplain Mychal Judge who most think lost his life while giving last rites to a fallen firefighter by falling debris. What most of us didn't know is that he went back into the north tower after giving that fallen firefighter his last rites. He was hit in the head from falling debris when the south tower collapsed. The image I will never forget is of the firefighters carrying his lifeless body slumped in a chair away from any more danger.

The most disturbing images from that day are of the jumpers. I choke up just thinking about how horrible the experience was for them being trapped on those burning floors. Feeling as if all of their options had exhausted in escaping the horror. That feeling of suffocating from the heat, the smoke, the fumes, and the smell of death. Over 200 people flung themselves from the WTC that day because they had no other choice. They were forced to make a choice no one should ever have to make. I want to believe in those last 10 seconds of their lives they weren't falling to their deaths 100 stories below, but to be out in the air, they were flying.

In October of 2001, I had to fly East for work. I went as close as I could to Ground Zero. I walked along the perimeter of the chain link fence they had established around the site. I walked along the closed up shops and restaurants. Looking in the windows, the interiors were still covered in ash. Some windows displayed the piles of ash form that September day. I stood mesmerized by the wall of photos of loved ones lost that had been hung on a makeshift chain linked fence outside a Cathedral. People were still leaving messages and shoving them in the links. Others signed their names and words of comfort on posters of the flight crews. Flowers, American flags, teddy bears and candles were all on display. I had never been more proud to be an American standing among these strangers.

I am hoping no one will forget that awful day. I am hoping no one will ever want to forget the 3000 that died that day, the first responders who rushed inside to save lives, the flight crews on board all four flights, the passengers of those planes, "Let's Roll," the jumpers, Father Mychal Judge, the families of all 3000 victims, and that moment when you heard the news.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Friday, June 3, 2011

I found this little gem of a project as I was looking for centerpiece ideas for a party. I thought I would share with you since it was the easiest project I have ever taken on...meaning I didn't have to drink the WHOLE bottle of wine to get through the first one!!! I do recall saying, "Take THAT Martha Stewart!" after each pinwheel was completed. Baby steps...

This simple and sweet DIY project was created by Viva L’Event, a full service wedding and gala planning company. These pinwheels are fun to make and compliment any party perfectly.

1. Begin by measuring and cutting several 6″ inch squares out of your paper.Side note: I used 2 sheets of paper glued together so the other side wasn't just plain white, it corresponded with a color on the pattern side. I'm also delusional like that.

2. Lay your paper pattern side down, and use your ruler to draw diagonal lines from each corner to make an “X”.
3. Find the center of your one of the squares and mark it by poking a hole through it with your pushpin.
4. From the center, mark one inch up, then cut along the diagonal lines from all four corners, stopping at the one inch you made.

5. Use your pushpin to make a hole in the right hand corner of each side of the square, just to the left of the line you just cut.

6. One by one, bring each of the four pin-holed corners to the center and stick the flower and pin through each of the four holes. Next, put the pin through the hole in the center of the square and set aside.

7 . Make a hole, using your pushpin, 1/2 inch down from the end of the dowel.

8. Next Put a drop of hot glue on the hole, and insert the pin that runs through the pinwheel center into the glue and dowel. I have this EXACT glue gun, BITCHEZ!

This picture sort of freaks me out due to the MAN HANDS on the woman. EEEKS! I also didn't put them in a vase with rocks, I bedazzled the hell out of a container to put all 12 in! I felt very Susie Homemaker while doing this project with the glue gun and scrapbooking paper I used. Maybe it's just my BYU days coming out in me. OMG, someone hand me a bottle of wine!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Remember when we used to climb the water tower, spray paint your name + my name = 4Ever, hang our legs over the side and watch the planes land while we made out? Yeah, me either.
And somewhere Jon Bon Jovi is smiling.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Last week when the temperatures plummeted to an all time low, the boys were out of school for 4 days straight; 1 sick, the other driving me nuts. I finally had to step outside of the sanctuary before Redrum took place. In all of the flat, brown, wintery parts of Texas, I stumbled upon this...and it kind of took my breath away...or was that the 12 degree weather?

Monday, February 7, 2011

Apparently in all my spare time I take pictures of slugs...they fascinate and scare me at the same time. These were taken about 6 months ago when I was in Washington on one of my many walks...rainy day and all. :) Shocking.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Wow! What a year, and might I add not a very fun one. I mean, of course it had it's ups and downs, but seriously I had my share of "are you F*CKING kidding me? Not something else" moments in 2010. It is 2010 right? I didn't hopefully sleep through all of it? OMG 2011 is only hours away??? Can you hear giddy in my voice? If I could wrap 2010 up in one sweet little bag full of poop and set it on fire, toss it on one of SEVERAL persons front porches and walk away hoping that their whole house would set fire, I would be pleased. That's how it goes in the movies, right?

I wanted to highlight some of the funtastic times I had in 2010 so no one runs screaming for their happy pills or knife drawer, whichever is closest. It usually takes a high consumption 2 glasses of alcohol for me to just be happy, whatever works.

My favorite quote from Huck:

"I've got to slow down, my makeup is running." This is when we did City Chase Seattle. Did I not write about this? Oops. I meant to.

My favorite quote to Huck:

"Apparently you don't participate in the talk dirty to me game anymore." This was written by me this morning as I sat in my room working and he was in the kitchen working. We have this long distance relationship and from time to time we torture each other by a little dirty talk game. I am thinking the auditors of Verizon and Sprint have blushed on more than one occasion. I'm sorry, what's that? You didn't know I moved back to Texas and left Huck in Seattle? Huh, I must not have written about that either.

My favorite quote from E:

"Nicki and I are just friends. She likes Carson now." This is a funny story since my kid is NINE. I have to chuckle at how the rest of this conversation went. Oh, sorry, I didn't share this one with you, either. Damn. Sorry about that.

My favorite quote from Jake:

Dude there isn't one because he doesn't talk much to ANY adult. Don't you know it's not cool for middle school kids to be seen speaking with their parents???

I guess I have a lot to catch you up on so my New Years Resolution is to write more. I may not have a lot of time because didn't you hear that Zac Efron is no longer dating Vanessa Hudgens? My next post may be from prison, but SO. WORTH. IT.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Friday, November 26, 2010

Ethan acquired some Pokemon cards today after his adventure to one of many comic book stores. He is beyond frustrated by trying to explain this "game" to me so that we can play. I would be easier off translating the Chinese language than learning the object of this "game." I'd rather be held hostage and forced to become a Democrat than continue with this torture. Did I mention that I've been up since 2:15 AM for Black Friday? Jake just came by and asked to do something with Ethan. I promise it had nothing to do with the $50 bucks I slipped him. Ethan declined because we were playing Pokemon....um, I have a handful of cards that I haven't touched since they were given to me. So apparently this is what you call playing Pokemon??? Maybe it's not so bad since I was able to look at porn on Huck's iPad the whole time. Won't he be surprised when he gets the bill.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I layed on the bed tonight discussing Christmas with Ethan. I'd memorized all of the Black Friday ads for weeks since they were released online weeks ago. But it's total tradition for my fabulous sister-in-law and I to trapse through each one after Thanksgiving dinner before dessert(s). I can't justify the pants being unbuttoned while I lick the advertisements of my favorite stores so she won't take them, instead I wear overalls and she wears elastic waisted pants. After circling, earmarking, and hiding the ads, I found myself laying on the bed having as much excitement about Christmas as, well, a kid on Christmas. I asked E what he wanted and after a long thoughtful pause he rolled over in all seriousness and said, "I don't know. There's so much cool stuff." I'm laying there staring at him, waiting for him to name SOMETHING, DAMNIT, ANYTHING!!! BECAUSE MOM ISN'T GETTING UP AT 2:15 FOR MY HEALTH. So I approached it from another angle, "What are you going to ask Santa to bring you." I had him trapped. What I got was, "Santa knows that I'll like any of that cool stuff." So a carton of unfiltered Camels and a bottle of Jack it is. It's going to be a great Christmas for one of us.

You have destroyed the pile of clothes that I have so neatly folded and stacked on your bed by running and jumping into the middle of the stacks as though it's a big pile of leaves. Then you wad them up and SHOVE them in your drawers when I give you the evil eye. It's ok, REALLY, just don't be surprised when I show up at school with your jock strap on my head.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I heart dance. All kinds. I love to watch it and every now and again I get brave enough to try it. As most of you have witnessed through this blog or on YouTube, my son has no fear of dancing either. I came across this and watched it at least 10 times...Go ahead...just try and not move your feet.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

One of my favorite feeds that I read daily is from HGTV. I get a kick out of the designers thoughts of what THEY think is awesome and what I think is dreadful. I'm most in awe of big, workable kitchens that I can spend days making donuts and consuming alcohol in a very hip manner. I really enjoy most of what they share with them real big, pertty pictures and all....until TODAY. First I'm going to show you the picture which was almost the first thing they showed. Then, I'm going to tear it apart dissect it....

"I love the whimsical, yet modern feel for these indoor swings" ~Kayla

Really, Kayla?

First, If I'm going to put a swing in my bedroom, it's not THIS kind. It's one my boys can't see until they're 28 or on their wedding night, whichever comes first.

The REAL problem here is the decorating in this country monstrosity, not the swing. The ONLY good thing about the swing is that it kinda covers up the other crap in the room and maybe that was Kayla's point, but I didn't read any further because I had to clean up the vomit on my laptop, sorry small family.

I hated that the brick wall was painted white and not left the original color. My eyes were fixated on that brick wall, wondering what color the original was and my eyes jumped out of my head when they found the Brady Bunch wall paper to the left. All I could think of was Marcia brushing her hair 100 times in her room with this same (looking) wallpaper. It's hideous. Maybe this is grandma's room, but then why would grandma still have the My Little Pony collection above the bed? She was way too old for that mess.

The bed looks rock hard, actually I'm thinking it's a table since they covered it with a picnic tablecloth. Perhaps they're trying to keep with the country theme? Then why the Frankie Goes To Hollywood coverings for the swing pillows?

None of the furniture remotely matches in style or color and that bothers me. The only things that interested me was the shag rug and it looks like the hardwood floors are originals from way back. It's a shame that they have this other crap to offset them.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A couple of weeks ago, I rounded up the troops for pictures. It's been awhile since we've had the chance to have professional pictures taken. I found this photographer through another blog that I read and was ecstatic when I found out she was 20 minutes from me! When I arrived, she threw this vintage dress my way, had me put on my cowboy boots and denim jacket and she started shooting. 200+ pictures later in under an hour and I was on my way to take Jake to the airport for his summer in Texas. These are just a couple that I have included. It looks like my Christmas cards are done. Just act surprised when you open yours in December.

Thoughts

So technically this is just a "space" for me to let out my thoughts and feelings on the latest "gossip" on how to take control of your life. This is a collaborative project through my girlfriends backed by me. Ideas and thoughts are appreciated at anytime!!! Enjoy!