“I can’t or I won’t”

Anyone whose has or has raised children knows that one the favorite words that kids learn very soon is no! But, very soon at least in my house that changes to I can’t. Now in most cases this really means I don’t want too. I can’t clean my room by myself, I can’t find my shoes or jacket or anything on my own. One of my kids favorites is I can’t clean up this mess all by my self, and of course one our favorite responses is that you didn’t have any trouble making the mess by yourself.

I hate to admit it, but that attitude usually rolls over to our adult years as well. I can’t mow the grass now, I have all these other things to do. You know, like read the paper, catch up on those shows we’re behind on, or I have to binge watch 45 episodes of whatever. Along with that goes, I haven’t checked Facebook for a while or I’m tired and I could really use a nap.

What keeps me moving forward and not giving up on myself and this disease is battling these I cants or I wont’s and changing them with daily or weekly challenges. One for instance is the Fitbit weekly challenges, which leads to weight loss goals. These kinds of things make my mind more clear and able me to extend those physical goals into mental goals. I read like crazy and it really doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. I love biographies, business and personal finance, self-help, spiritual and who doesn’t like a good mystery?

The better my mind feels the better my body feels. Now, this I will say is a heck of a lot easier to do because I have been off work. But, as I look back I can see the hours that I wasted even working 40 plus hour weeks, with 10-12 hours shifts. How many hours in front of the TV or just zoning out and eating everything in site. I just wasn’t present in my life for so long and I’m ashamed of all the minutes, hours, days and years I have wasted and continued to up until a few days ago.

Think about all the time in your day that is wasted on social media (not reading this blog of course), playing games on the cell phone. Don’t get me wrong the mind does need some distractions for this extremely tough world we live in, but just think if you took 10 to 15 minutes moving just a little bit more. Jimmy V in his famous speech said “that if you do three things everyday: Think, laugh and have your emotions bring you to tears, that’s a hell of a day”. I believe this all is tied into finding your purpose in this world.

Now this is probably one of the hardest thing for human beings to figure out. Some go their whole lives without finding their purpose. The path that I was on was finish high school, find a major and get a degree (preferably one with a job that paid well), start a family, and have as many toys that I could afford or in some cases not afford. Also in this plan was to be a good person, work hard, and have high integrity. Those later ones were fine goals, but to be honest the former ones drove my daily actions.

Going through this illness on a daily basis has changed all of that. Yes, I will continue to work hard, be a good person and to be honest and open, but now I believe that I have found my purpose. And, I only believe I found this purpose through my new-found faith. I believe, that I was given this illness, disease or disorder so I can be the voice for all who struggle daily, not just with OT but with all challenges in life. I believe that I was meant to inspire anyone who has trouble making it through the day for whatever reason. Of course my main focus will be trying to make those of us with OT heard, but I don’t won’t it to stop there. I will be an advocate for OT, but I will also pay forward all the kindness and generosity that has been given to my family and I. That can only be achieved by turning those I can’t moments into you better believe I can, and if you get in my way “watch out”. I still hope to do this as a pharmacist, but like I’ve previously, “let the chips fall where they may”

So do something today that makes your life better or someone else’s life better too. Turn those I really can’t or I or just don’t want to do it around. Smile at someone, talk to someone, put your cell phone down and enjoy the beauty that God has given us in this world, no matter what circumstance it has brought you too. One small pleasant gesture can do amazing things!! Don’t wait, start today, because you Can!!!

Thanks for reading, please share this blog, have an amazing day and as always, God bless.

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