Birmingham AL Collaborative Divorce Law Blog

Although it’s the season to be jolly, some divorced couples with children may find themselves saying, “Ba-hum-bug!” as the realities of shared custody set in. Just because you can’t celebrate a classic Norman Rockwell family holiday, you don’t have to turn into the Grinch. Here are four ways to manage sharing your kids without losing your holiday spirit.

Memories of Christmas’ past can be haunting. If you’re divorcing or divorced, the season can become an emotional minefield — especially if your split is contentious. And if you have young children, the problems may be compounded by custody arrangements.

Beneath all these challenges is a season that society tells us should be the happiest time of our lives. When your reality doesn’t match up with this ideal, it’s easy to feel downright depressed.Read more . . .

We pass along eye and hair color and a host of other biological traits, but is it possible that divorce is in your DNA? Researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University and Lund University in Sweden believe it’s true; and their findings will soon be published in the journal Psychological Science.

The scientists analyzed Swedish population registries and found that people who were adopted resembled their biological -- but not adoptive -- parents and siblings in their histories of divorce.Read more . . .

Your engagement ring and/or wedding band are often the first outward symbols of commitment to your partner. But when uncoupling, dispensing of that marital bling may be the last thing you consider — and one of the hardest to reconcile. For many men and women, taking off that band is the first step towards accepting a new chapter in their lives.

For many divorcing couples, “irreconcilable differences” is the reason they give on their divorce papers. And whereas that’s technically correct, the true causes and conditions for divorce are probably much more complex. For some, a behavior called codependency may be at the heart of the problem.

Codependency is often associated with addiction, but that’s just one way this behavior comes to the fore. In fact, codependency is involved in any relationship where one party alters his or her behavior in order to try to control the other person in order to get a desired result.Read more . . .

Whether you’ve been disappointed, betrayed or shamed, feeling rage —or even hatred —towards your ex is a normal response. It may serve as a catharsis for pent up emotions. Or, in some cases, it may even prompt action or serve as a much-needed catalyst for change. But sometimes, getting past the anger stage of divorce becomes a hurdle. When that occurs, holding onto that aggression can become detrimental to your emotional and physical health.Read more . . .

When a couple splits, there’s usually a division of property, assets, and child custody. But there’s another important piece of mutual property that should be disentangled: Your digital holdings. If you’ve shared social media accounts, email addresses or mobile phone plans, you may have valuable content that could require very skillful parsing.

When you experience the loss of a loved one, it often feels that your life will never feel normal again. Divorce often feels like this, too. There is no set amount of time to get over the feelings of hurt, anger, sadness or resentment that often come along with the end of a marriage. But there are ways you can make the transition seem like less of a “time out” punishment and more of an opportunity to explore new opportunities and to focus on yourself.

The kids are back in school, and for divorced parents who share custody, the juggling act has begun again. Shuttling children back and forth between two households can be disruptive and time consuming. It may also require interaction with your ex on a weekly or even daily basis, which, depending upon your relationship, may be stressful. But new evidence indicates joint custody may be worth the hassle when it comes to your kids’ well-being.

Starting over after the end of a marriage can be (by turns) exciting and terrifying. Depending upon your situation, you may feel thrilled about diving into the dating pool, or reluctant to dip in a toe. But how long should you wait? Whereas there’s no definitive timeline for assessing your needs and taking time to grieve the loss of your marriage, there are ways to determine if your inclination to jump into the pool (or stay high and dry) is healthy. Consider this advice from the experts.