A Phoenix Rising. Reflections on life – philosophical, political, musical, cultural, and everywhere in between – from a single dad living in Utah.

An Empathy For Women, Given By A Drean

by skiprynearson

I just had a rather terrifying nightmare, and I know you may think I am beyond weird for having had it, let alone sharing it, but, for some reason, I feel like I should.

I’ve barely just now awoke from a dream in which I was a woman, trying to escape from what I now realize was attempted date rape. I had met a charming man, and in the excitement and thrill of it all, I ignored telltale signs that he was, as they say, “creepy”. I don’t believe this justifies what nearly happened to me in the dream, but just an acknowledgement that I should have avoided him. Without providing all of the details and minutia of the dream from before then and then on, I’ll simply say that I found myself in a night club with him in the very late hours, and all of a sudden I began to feel nauseous, and had to step outside for fresh air. While out there I vomited, and the charming man came out to seemingly check on me. It was there and then that he made his most physically aggressive move up to this point, and I realized he had tried to drug me, but I seemed to have vomited the drug up, as my head was beginning to slowly clear. I escaped from his advances, and began walking away as quickly as I could muster.

As I walked away, he made multiple attempts to block me and to coax me into staying. Having had enough and feeling it was my last resort, I told him that if he didn’t leave me alone, that I would call the police to report what he was doing, and pointed out a security camera that we had been in view of the entire time. Angry and frustrated, he backed off, and I started to stumble back to the bar…

Then I woke up. And I felt sick, and I felt dizzied, and I felt a small sense of trauma… but I also felt glad that female-I had stood up to him, and had avoided something that, in the dream, had me feeling horrified.

To all of women that may read this, whether you have encountered this terrifying circumstance or have lived in imminent fear that it could happen to you, I am not a woman, and I’ll never know what it is like to be you as you do, but this morning, I understand better a small fraction of what you go through in life and in dating, and the risks you take as a result. And because of this dream, I promise I’ll defend your cause and fight rape – particularly date rape – for the rest of my life.

Yeah, maybe I am weird, but that dream was harrowing, and it gave me a perspective I don’t think I ever would have asked for otherwise.