Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Holiday Traveler

“Your attention please. The Department of Homeland
Security has issued a specific threat warning for air travel within the
continental United States. The threat level has been upgraded from Orange to
Red. All travelers are advised to plan
extra travel time, to allow for increased security screening in all domestic
air terminals. Your cooperation is
greatly appreciated. Thank You.”

I was wheeling my carry-on from the men’s room to the Au-Bon
Pan shop in Terminal F to get myself a three-day-old turkey on roll for lunch
when they made the announcement. Wonderful.
I hope I can still make my flight. I looked for the nearest Departures
monitor but the first thing I noticed was a guy in a brown suit with a military
haircut and a hearing aid, then another, and another. Finally the light in my
brain went on. Undercover security, and lots of them. My eyes finally found the
Departures monitor. Delta 4123 …Gate F21 …Delayed.

Shit.

While I was busy watching the Departure monitor, I didn’t
notice the security camera looking back at me.

When I got to Au-Bon Pan I got a whiff of Five Guys cooking
up a triple bypass on a bun and I changed my mind about lunch. A cheeseburger
with a bagful of fries would last longer in my stomach. No telling how long we
were going to be held up. I made an abrupt change of direction and bumped into
someone, but before I could say “I’m sorry, excuse me.” I was tossed to the
ground and handcuffed.

One of the brown suited security people dragged me to my
feet by the handcuffs behind my back, and two other undercover security people
had me by each arm as they led me out of the corridor and quickly into a
Security office. In the blinking of an eye I was out of public view, and for
all intents and purposes, I no longer existed.

I was taken down some back hallways to an “Interview Room.”
“Interrogation Room” is more like it. There they dropped me like a sack of
potatoes into a chair behind a table. An older guy who wore a better fitting
suit than the rest of them took a seat across from me. He examined my passport
as he started to ask me questions.

Every suit in the room started to have a little sidebar
discussion. The expensive suit called up some pictures on his flat screen, and
quickly shot a disapproving look at the suit that had taken me into custody.

“Mr. Allen, we are very sorry for the mix-up. The Homeland
Security facial recognition software gave us a positive ID on you. It is a new
system, we haven’t worked out all the bugs yet. These gentlemen will escort you
to your gate. On behalf of the United States Government I apologize. Please understand,
these are trying times, and we are counting on the understanding and
cooperation of all good American citizens. Good day Sir.”

With that I was much more gently escorted to my gate,
but still kept under close surveillance until I boarded my flight home. Happy Thanksgiving.

About Me

Over the past 5 years several of my works have been published in major market newspapers, periodicals, and anthologies. I have won a number of awards for my works. My collection of poems is growing steadily as I attempt to get my collection of short fiction ready for publication as a full volume work, hopefully by this autumn. Who knows, my poetry has taken on a life of it’s own, growing by leaps and bounds, and my plans to make a book of poetry my second release, may need to be adjusted forward accordingly.