Douche of the Week: Donald Trump

By Noam DeGuerre

So this past weekend Donald “The Donald” Trump said something incendiary that has shocked the American people, or at least some of them, and has taken the media and campaigns by storm. He insinuated that Sen. John McCain wasn’t a war hero, and made the comment that he didn’t like people who were captured. Thus earning him the title of DOUCHE OF THE WEEK (I hope you read that to yourself in an awesome announcer voice).

Now before we go too much further I’m going to need to have a few adult beverages, it’s not every day I have to sit down and write about Donald Trump, but sally forth I shall.

You see I have no love or respect outside of basic humanity for old Donald. I care for him about as much as I’d care for manscaping my nether region via dunk tank acid bath. To me he’s always been an abrasive blow hard with the substance of a Kim Kardashian physics book. His ultra-hyperbolic statements and rhetoric take more of monopoly on salt mining than the traditional grain of salt. Also typically when anyone who prefers to be referred to in the third person begins to talk I go to my happy place (riding on the back of Falcore from the Never Ending Story) until the self-aggrandizing is over.

This weekend’s statements weren’t a shock to me. If anything they absolutely confirmed my impression of “The Donald.” I’ve racked my brain trying to think of a time where Trump didn’t exaggerate, expressed any nuance in understanding of an issue, or let his actions speak for themselves.

In attacking John McCain in his roundabout way, Trump demonstrated that although he proclaims to support veterans, when presented with one who disagrees with him he loses respect fairly quickly and viciously. I’m not sure it would be fair to call Trump a draft dodger, but the military school student and athlete miraculously made it through High School and University athletics only to develop a temporary case of bone spurs on each heel right before he was to sign up for the draft, then upon his eligibility received one of the highest draft numbers possible.

Again, I don’t want to call him a draft dodger or any such thing, but a concerted effort was made for him not to serve his country. Which there is no shame in. It has been one of the greatest honors of my life to serve in an all-volunteer military.

What really has incised me is not that Trump attacked McCain—that’s his modus operandi, to attack and lambaste anyone who speaks out against him, in bombastic fashion. No, it’s that Trump never under any circumstances backs up his words with actions. The largest insult he hurtled at Sen. McCain wasn’t questioning his status as a Hero, or his attempts to diminish the horrific nature of McCain’s service. It was that he made the statement that he hadn’t done enough for veterans.

Most of us know the hurdles and pitfalls of reintegration, navigating the VA, hell even combating the public stigma of war time service. We know what hasn’t been done and what needs a lot more work, and I say this as no fan of McCain, but he’s done more in a month than Trump has in a life of pontificating. Outside of helping to build a Memorial in NYC for veterans and a parade for veterans in 1995, Trump doesn’t really have a track record of action on Veterans issues…….well outside of lip service.

“The Donald” isn’t just the DotW because he insulted and diminished one of our own. He’s the Douche of the Week because behind all of his talk and rhetoric, there is not a single ounce of substance. He villainizes illegal immigrants, but employs them and takes no responsibility for their hiring by his sub-contractors in the construction of his buildings. He constantly accuses people of being inept and stupid, but the man has been through more bankruptcies than a twenty year member of the E-4 mafia with 6 ex-wives and enough children to field a football team. And now he insults one of our own, for his service in and out of uniform, without ever putting his words into actions.

That’s why Trump is The Douche of the Week, because despite all his proclamations, and condemnations, he’s done nothing of substance. Except throwing stones in a glass house dressed as a pot calling a kettle black.

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One Comment

John

July 30, 2015 at 4:53 am

I don’t really want to defend Trump, but I would like to take this great opportunity to bust on John McCain.

Sure, he is a war hero. Nobody can ever take that away from him.

However, his political career has been one long assault on the US Constitution and principles of liberty. The campaign finance project he’s championed over the years has done nothing but eviscerate freedom of speech. For goodness sakes this reprobate wanted to train, fund, and equip ISIS and help them take down Assad. He never met a pile of pork or a needless war he didn’t want to jump right into and steal from American workers and businessmen to pay for. John McCain is absolutely disgusting.

Just because someone is a vet, doesn’t mean they get my unequivocal support. Especially when they are doing their very best to turn my once great nation into China.

One thing us military folks are supposed to support is accountability. John McCain has been in the Senate for many years, presiding over many of the events that have led our country to the sorry state it is in right now. Let’s hold him and every other douchebag in DC accountable.

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