RuPaul’s Drag Race: A super fake out

The shows fiercest remaining queens were forced to lip sync against each other after (unfairly) landing in the bottom for a third week in a row. There were tears and hugs and that gorgeous Robyn song and it was all just too much. Jujubee, in fierce red wig and blue contacts, broke down on the runway before RuPaul made the final decision.

Shantay, you both stay. Ugh.

Yes, I am happy that both are still in the running for next week’s finale. Raven and Jujubee deserve the slots. They’re sickening. But Ru had to know no one was going home this week. The same thing happened during season 4’s penultimate episode, when three girls made it to the end instead of two.

Also — Team Shad? Really? I’m STILL surprised at all the love they’re getting from the judges. Not seeing it, ladies.

This week’s challenges were, um, interesting — let’s go with that. The final four were asked to shoot hoops in day drag(ish), which resulted in lots of wobbly legs and five o’clock shadows. Rujubee won that challenge, which meant, well, nothing.

And they looked crazy doing it.

The main challenge was to transform into comic book arch-enemies — superhero vs. supervillain, complete with storylines, super powers, names and costumes. The winners get immortalized in a comic book. And the losers, well, see above.

All four queens are also required to choreograph a number together. Shannel immediately takes over, despite having the least experience with dance and staging. (Is anyone else tired of this queen? I liked her so much more on “Drag U.”)

On the runway, the super stories come off complicated and convoluted. Chad talks about vaginal rejuvenation. Shannel mentions mammograms and boobs. Jujubee talks tanning and wields a hair dryer.

Raven, who looks truly amazing, keeps it simple. Her “master plan is to dominate the world by throwing shade.” YES. LI-VING.

Team Shad wins the challenge AGAIN. No idea. Shannel’s look’s like Catwoman after she was blown up in the Penguin’s lair. Chad’s superhero reads like a Barbie Doll. No edge at all. There’s also no punch in their group presentation. They fall flat next to the other two girls.

(And, no, Chad Michaels. You would not have represented Ru better than Sharon Needles. Get over yourself. TEAM SHARON!)

Rujubee is superior in every way: looks, attitude, charisma, uniqueness, nerve, talent. Their hero/villain looks aren’t the usual, but that’s what makes them great. They deserved the win.

SO WHAT GIVES RU.

But I guess it doesn’t matter, right? Next week, all bets are off. Every queen for herself. And after that searing, emotional lip sync, it’s clear who the final two should be. Shad could never, ever pull off anything like that.