On January 16, less than three weeks ago, my service dog, Lynal, was run over by a truck and was killed. He was 3 and had a long life ahead of him.

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Dealing with his sudden and unexpected loss has made me somewhat wiser on the topic of grieving, so I would like to share some of the things that have helped me over the past few weeks. Please remember that although these things have helped me greatly, everyone goes through the grieving process differently.

Friends and Family

I called people I knew would be there for me. On the day of the accident, two of my best friends, my sister and my boyfriend all came and stayed with me.

No one really knew what to do in such a tragic situation, but just having the continuous support and love that my friends and family gave me helped me feel like I wouldn’t be alone in the grieving process.

Saying Goodbye

My mother took my dog to the veterinarian to be sent out for cremation. Before he was taken away, I asked the vet if she could clean him up so I could say goodbye. Since my last image of him was of him lying on the road, I knew I needed a better last image.

When my vet called me into the examination room, Lynal was lying flat with a towel draped over his midsection and his head was exposed. I was able to caress his face and kiss him goodbye. This image was much nicer than what I had remembered.

Keep Eating

Even though eating seemed like the most impossible thing for me to do at the time, I was able to keep down small pieces of muffin and hot tea. I was also lucky enough to receive an Edible Arrangement, which made eating much easier.

If you are having trouble eating while you are grieving, try to find something you can tolerate and don’t push yourself to eat more than you can handle. After a week, I started craving strawberry cheesecake again, so I knew I was making progress.

Getting Another Dog

Addisen is part chihuahua, part min pin, and all ears.

This is probably where you will see the most variation in how people cope with the loss of a pet.

Because Lynal was my service dog, I knew I needed another dog. I went to three SPCAs and temperament-tested about 40 dogs before finding the right dog for me. I ended up adopting a young female chihuahua/miniature pinscher mix from Perfect Pets Rescue who I named Addisen. She fit the personality needed to be a good psychiatric service dog, and her goofy big ears made me smile.

I highly suggest if you are going to adopt another dog right away, you don’t get the same breed, gender or size of the dog you just lost. Beginning to create a new bond with an animal helped me move forward and see my future as a new chapter.

I still grieve Lynal’s loss and don’t see Addisen as a replacement dog, only a new dog. No animal could replace Lynal in my life — and once I was able to accept that fact, I was able to start creating a new type of bond with Addisen.

Realistic Expectations and Talking About It

I had adopted Lynal from Good Shepherd K9 Rescue. When I called the owner to give her news, she told me wonderful advice about how people are going to react. She told me that not all people love their dog the same way and a lot of people see their dog as “just a dog.” These people who care for their dog as “just a dog” will not understand the extent of your grieving.

When you’re choosing whom to talk with about your loss, choose people who love their pets like you love yours. For me, this meant talking with friends who see their pets as their children and who also feel that losing a dog means losing a part of your soul.

Cremation

I am working on choosing an urn for Lynal’s ashes. There are so many ways to remember your pet and tons of urns/memorials available for people to choose from. Selecting the right memorial may take a lot of time, sometimes even years.

Losing my dog shattered my life, and I am still learning how to cope with my loss. Every day presents itself with new challenges in a world in which my service dog no longer exists. I know I will have dozens of dogs in my lifetime, but Lynal will always be my first dog and the dog who taught me so much about myself.

From Around the Web

About Clarissa Fallis

Clarissa Fallis is a canine behaviorist and trainer from Upstate New York. She has attended Bergin University of Canine Studies, State University of New York at Cobleskill, and Animal Behavior College. She is competent in training all breeds and ages of dogs, though she prefers hounds because of the challenge they present. She has a chihuahua/min-pin mix named Addisen, whom she adores. Read more:About Pets Adviser

http://www.facebook.com/people/Pam-Gereau/1435336027 Pam Gereau

Oh Clarissa, I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m sitting here, tears streaming down my face after reading this (I guess you know dog owner category I’m in). Best wishes to you and your adorable new baby as you move forward to heal from your heartbreak.

annacolleen

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I am always afraid of the same thing happening to my Chester, and keep him in a harness that straps into the car seat. Just last week, he actually pulled himself out of what I formerly thought of as safe, Your story has prompted me to get another harness, but I’ll remember your story, Lynall, and the new member of your family, Addisen. I admire and hope you succeed in rescuing former lab dogs. I can’t think of anything more worthy. You’re right, Addisen’s ears are really cute!

jon

Im sorry for your loss. I just lost my dog of 8 years two days ago and I am beside myself with grief. I just want this pain inside to be gone. The house feels so quiet and empty without her.

Crystal

wow, jon, my dog who was 8 years old died 2 days ago… I’m so sorry, I’m dying inside as well

http://www.petsadviser.com/ David Deleon Baker

So sorry to hear. It’s devastating — way more than you’d think. The worst part is the feeling that other people just don’t understand. Because “It’s just a dog” (or a cat, etc.) — but that animal companion was so much more than that. All I can say (from experience) is that it does get better with time.

Trevor

I know I’m late on here, but my best friend and puppy of 8 years was struck by a pickup truck as she ran onto the road chasing a rabbit. Upon her limping back to my arms, her breathing became very labored. My mother, father, and I rushed her to the vet and upon examination she was put down. I write this with tears in my eyes and love in my heart. She watched me grow up from the time that I was 9 until now. She had the 80 acres of land we own and a pond to swim in which her adventurous and loving temperament brought to this world. I will NEVER forget my first puppy and my best friend. I hope she has found peace. I love you Sunny

Ann-Marie Wade

I lost my 10 year old black Labrador Fella in the early hours of this morning. He had an aggressive cancer diagnosed four weeks ago and we were given a few remaining weeks left with him. Last night, he deteriorated and decided enough was enough. Because we knew each other so well, because he is like my child and he is my best friend, we both knew what he was telling me. We were lucky to have that time of warning, lucky to have a vet come into our home and help him while we cuddled him to sleep. Of course the grief and pain are raw now but I am well aware they always will be because of what he was to me. I have 3 daughters but loved him like my child. He was my best friend who I told everything to and who loved and supported me in a way no one else did through every tough time and now this, the toughest time of my life and I somehow have to do it without him. I was so relieved to see Clarissa refer to Lynal as her child because no one I know would understand if I referred to Fella in that way. Although the rest of my life will be underpinned with an inherent sadness, I am so priviledged to have had Fella in my life and he will always be my no 1.