Monday, December 11, 2006

Here is a good story to tell your child if she ever accuses you of embarrassing her."Oh yeah?" you can say, "listen to this!"When i was 10 or 11, my mother showed her naked ass to my entire girl scout troop. While i was there.Top that!Here's the scoop. My mother was at the height of her weight at that point in her life. Which means that she was probably 100 lbs (45 kgs for my friends who are wise enough to live somewhere the metric system is in use) overweight. She had recently fallen down the stairs and landed on her arse. She had a HUGE bruise as a result. It was probably 12 inches (30 centimeters) in diameter.She was convinced that the ever changing status of this Rorschach test of a bruise was a fascination to all. The entire troop, maybe 15 girls (no conversion necessary), was on a "campout" in some old lodge building in Virginia. After a night of singing around the flashlight and doing skits, my mother decided that the perfect way to ensure that sweet dreams were had by all was to bare her biggest asset to the crowd so they too could enjoy the current purple fading to greenish hue of her backside.So she mooned the entire troop, me included. I remember getting all hot and then wanting to disappear that instant into the ether.

23 comments:

No kidding. All I ever got from a girl scout camp out was my Mom (the leader) going into labor in order to produce my sister. I was embarrassed, but only because everyone was pissed off at me because we had to leave.

wow. that is terrific ammunition..in fact, not only w/ Em, but all your friends who won't eat anything fried...something like...oh, so you think eating that french fry in front of me is embarrassing, i'll show you embarrassing...

This isn't a mother embarrassing moment, but a twist. My sister was dressed up as a belly dancer along with several of her dancing buddies in her 7th grade class. My mother (this might be the emabarrassing thing about my Mom!!) was monitoring the class for the Nuns and made my sister and her pal come to the front of the room to show off their outfits. Unfortunately for my sister while she stood there her top fell off.

ac, feel free to use this story to frighten your daughter! "Here's how bad it COULD be!"

josephine, it does make one wonder. Why was she so sure that we couldn't live without seeing her bruise? Why oh why?

bo, i've never asked her about it. I think i will. Now that i look back at it she might have been tippling in secret. I would if i had to spend the night in a room with 15 11 year old girls. You have a new cat's ass picture! It's excellent.

lucia, My mom doesn't do anything half-assed. (snort)

alphawoman, oh no! And your mother laughed? I mean, i might have laughed too, but i would have tried to hide it.

Wow! I don't remember a specific incident about my mom embarrassing me at that age. But I do remember my mom inadvertently flashing the church minister when he came to our home on an unannounced visit. I invited him to wait in our kitchen until she was available. Little did I know, he caught an eyeful when she was dashing back and forth between her bedroom and the bathroom. He excused himself to wait in a room without a view. Embarrassing the clergy is a lot more powerful in my book.