What we once thought we had we didn’t, and what we have now will never be that way again
So we call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop)

Our myxomatoid kids spraddle the streets, we’ve shunned them from the greasy-grind
The poor little things, they look so sad and old as they mount us from behind
I ask them to desist and to refrain
And then we call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop)

Rosary clutched in his hand, he died with tubes up his nose
And a cabal of angels with finger cymbals chanted his name in code
We shook our fists at the punishing rain
And we call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop)

He said everything is messed up around here, everything is banal and jejune
There is a planetary conspiracy against the likes of you and me in this idiot constituency of the moon
Well, he knew exactly who to blame
And we call upon the author to explain

Well, I go guruing down the street, young people gather round my feet
Ask me things, but I don’r know where to start
They ignite the power-trail ssstraight to my father’s heart
And once again I call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop …)

We call upon the author to explain

Who is this great burdensome slavering dog-thing that mediocres my every thought?
I feel like a vacuum cleaner, a complete sucker, it’s fucked up and he is a fucker
But what an enormous and encyclopaedic brain
I call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop …)

Oh rampant discrimination, mass poverty, third world debt, infectious diseease
Global inequality and deepening socio-economic divisions
Well, it does in your brain
And we call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop …)

Now hang on, my friend Doug is tapping on the window (Hey Doug, how you been?)
Brings me back a book on holocaust poetry complete with pictures
Then tells me to get ready for the rain
And we call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop …)

I say prolix! Prolix! Something a pair of scissors can fix

Bukowski was a jerk! Berryman was best!
He wrote like wet papier mache, went the Heming-way weirdly on wings and with maximum pain
We call upon the author to explain

(Doop doop doop doop dooop …)

Down in my bolthole I see they’ve published another volume of unreconstructed rubbish
“The waves, the waves were soldiers moving”. Well, thank you, thank you, thank you
And again I call upon the author to explain
Yeah, we call upon the author to explain

All the towers of ivory are crumbling
And the swallows have sharpened their beaks
This is the time of our great undoing
This is the time that Ill come running
Straight to you
For I am captured
Straight to you
For I am captured
One more time

The light in our window is fading
The candle gutters on the ledge
Well now sorrow, it comes a-stealing
And Ill cry, girl, but Ill come a-running
Straight to you
For I am captured
Straight to you
For I am captured
Once again

Gone are the days of rainbows
Gone are the nights of swinging from the stars
For the sea will swallow up the mountains
And the sky will throw thunder-bolts and sparks
Straight at you
But Ill come a-running
Straight to you
But Ill come a-running
One more time

Heaven has denied us its kingdom
The saints are drunk howling at the moon
The chariots of angels are colliding
Well, Ill run, babe, but Ill come running
Straight to you
For I am captured
Straight to you
For I am captured
One more time

It was back in ’32 when times were hard
He had a Colt .45 and a deck of cards
Stagger Lee
He wore rat-drawn shoes and an old stetson hat
Had a ’28 Ford, had payments on that
Stagger Lee
His woman threw him out in the ice and snow
And told him, “Never ever come back no more”
Stagger Lee
So he walked through the rain and he walked through the mud
Till he came to a place called The Bucket Of Blood
Stagger Lee
He said “Mr Motherfucker, you know who I am”
The barkeeper said, “No, and I don’t give a good goddamn”
To Stagger Lee
He said, “Well bartender, it’s plain to see
I’m that bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee”
Mr. Stagger Lee
Barkeep said, “Yeah, I’ve heard your name down the way
And I kick motherfucking asses like you every day”
Mr Stagger Lee
Well those were the last words that the barkeep said
‘Cause Stag put four holes in his motherfucking head
Just then in came a broad called Nellie Brown
Was known to make more money than any bitch in town
She struts across the bar, hitching up her skirt
Over to Stagger Lee, she starts to flirt
With Stagger Lee
She saw the barkeep, said, “O God, he can’t be dead!”
Stag said, “Well, just count the holes in the motherfucker’s head”
She said, “You ain’t look like you scored in quite a time.
Why not come to my pad? It won’t cost you a dime”
Mr. Stagger Lee
“But there’s something I have to say before you begin
You’ll have to be gone before my man Billy Dilly comes in,
Mr. Stagger Lee”
“I’ll stay here till Billy comes in, till time comes to pass
And furthermore I’ll fuck Billy in his motherfucking ass”
Said Stagger Lee
“I’m a bad motherfucker, don’t you know
And I’ll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy’s asshole”
Said Stagger Lee
Just then Billy Dilly rolls in and he says, “You must be
That bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee”
Stagger Lee
“Yeah, I’m Stagger Lee and you better get down on your knees
And suck my dick, because If you don’t you’re gonna be dead”
Said Stagger Lee
Billy dropped down and slobbered on his head
And Stag filled him full of lead
Oh yeah.