Santa Falls Foul of Anti-Terrorism Laws:Canadian police, taking advantage of sweeping new anti-terrorism legislation, arrested Santa Claus on the grounds that he had a beard, was behaving suspiciously and, in all likelihood, belonged to a underground cell.

One by stander was heard to be saying “They’re clearly in cahoots across the country, all these people doing very similar and weird things, spending time in shopping malls and waving in parades. I’m sure those hand signals are indicating something to other members of the cell”