Sunday

JUNK IN THE TRUNK

This lovely lady is Oneal Morris. She was recently arrested for performing medical procedures on another woman without a license.

Her patient went to the hospital several times with severe pain but got too embarrassed to tell the doctors what had happened and went home. Finally her mom rushed her to the hospital in the nick of time - she was almost dead.

The victim was right to be embarrassed - she is the dumbest woman in the world. Personally I won't even get a blowout by someone with crooked eye brows because it means she's aesthetically challenged. So when a woman with a 25" waist and 95" hips attempts to inflate your buttocks with an unknown substance you head for the fuckin hills. Her top however is gorgeous. If she was wearing that top the day of the surgery I can understand why the victim looked past the red flags. You see, I designed that top.

Here it is in the DKNY Jeans showroom, many moons ago:

This photo also proves that I started the no pants trend

Oneal Morris, who is actually a transgendered man, inserted a tube into the woman's butt and pumped it with a mixture of cement, fix-a-flat tire sealant and mineral oil. He then sealed the wound with super glue. It's not surprising that the woman almost died. What is really fucking surprising is that Oneal has done this to himself and he's still walkin around in open toed sock-shoes and halter tops. That tranny is indestructible. Don't arrest it - study it!

The medical term for junk in the trunk is Steatopygia. Steatopygia is an adaptive physiological trait for female humans living in hot environments, as it allows them to maximise their bodies' surface-area/volume ratio while maintaining enough fat to produce hormones needed for menstruation. Longer, leaner bodies are more adaptive, according to Allen's rule, because there is a greater surface area through which heat can radiate, thereby maintaining homeostasis. With fat deposited heavily in only certain areas in the middle on the trunk of the body, the limbs are left skinny enough to radiate heat more efficiently. Being able to store large amounts of fat is important in very seasonal environments like those of South Africa, where foragers have little to eat during the dry season, and live largely off of their stored fat. Women who have this fat can continue to reproduce through the unproductive seasons, thereby increasing their fitness.