This was weird and disturbing, but it did hold my interest. The only thing I didn’t like about it was that it’s slanderous toward Peter Pan, but I’ve had that same problem Peter Pan that was addressed in this script before.

At first, I was unsure of what the point of this was, yet I was strangely dragged into it. By the end, I found out that it did have a point to it, and I liked it. Their positions in their relationship were the opposite to what I expected, which changed the story but managed not to contradict anything.

I had to read over this more than once to figure out what was going on, but that’s not a bad thing. I kind of liked being stumped on this and trying to figure it out.
I thought this was an interesting, if kind of ridicules, way to murder his wife and to get a baby. I do not know why he would have to do it this way, but that’s probably another story. I was confused by the fact that Diane was still able to talk, during what was happening to her, so you might want to rethink that part.
Overall I think this was pretty good. I do not think this was really good, but I think it has the potential to be.

This was weird and disturbing, but it did hold my interest. The only thing I didn’t like about it was that it’s slanderous toward Peter Pan, but I’ve had that same problem Peter Pan that was addressed in this script before.

At first, I was unsure of what the point of this was, yet I was strangely dragged into it. By the end, I found out that it did have a point to it, and I liked it. Their positions in their relationship were the opposite to what I expected, which changed the story but managed not to contradict anything.

I had to read over this more than once to figure out what was going on, but that’s not a bad thing. I kind of liked being stumped on this and trying to figure it out.
I thought this was an interesting, if kind of ridicules, way to murder his wife and to get a baby. I do not know why he would have to do it this way, but that’s probably another story. I was confused by the fact that Diane was still able to talk, during what was happening to her, so you might want to rethink that part.
Overall I think this was pretty good. I do not think this was really good, but I think it has the potential to be.