I love then both, but give the nod to Ratel, perhaps due to the persistent torment of a corrupt, conceited, officious government toady. I'm funny that way. If only in Squeaks, the python could have run into Sneezy on the way out.

I'll vote Ratel Saga by a nose, just to give a concrete answer. But if anyone else asks I'll say to read'em both, it's a toss-up. If you're having to decide which to put into a book, please go with both.

I would have to say Ratel. Ali Cheap-cheap is a fun person to have around, but having someone like Sneezy get the fate that he so richly deserves, with the aid of two unflappable parents, two fine soldiers, a covey of inebriated but enthusiastic engineers, and a bowling ball, is the kind of yarn that lets one appreciate the ingenuity that the universe can display in delivering 25 pounds of sharp-toothed karma to the appropriate ham.

I do so love The Ratel, but being married to a Redhead myself and picturing your mom go to DefCon 1 just gives me the warm fuzzy thoughts of my own wife turning into Frothing Kabod Yahweh herself. So I’m going for old Squeaks.

But for the love of all that is good and pure… don’t forget about The Chit Chat.

The Ratel Saga. No contest. Among other reasons, because in the Squeaks Story, the person most angered/annoyed/embarassed/generally discombobulated didn't deserve it. In the Ratel Saga (and in the Major's Tale too, for that matter), there's a welcome element of karma coming home to roost, vulture-like, on them as most richly deserve it.

"You know, there is a peaceful, almost serene, moment that occurs just after the last chance to prevent the fit from hitting the shan, a moment that is almost like a deep sigh as if the Universe is thinking about what a nice day it had been up to that point, and in all that quiet, you can quite clearly hear that little voice in the back of your head saying: "Oh, bugger."

The ratel story, but only because Sneezy is a better character than Ali Cheap-Cheap, and because I remember trying to build with banana trunk supports. Honestly. Both you and your brother survived? Astonishing.

Depends. Is this going to be published stand-alone? Because if so, Ratel, because it provides enough context to understand your and your family's situation. If not, Squeaker, because I have a weakness for mongooses (mongeese?).

both -- BOTH, darn you. Unfair to all those who've not encountered LawDog's prose to only provide one of the stories. They are both excellently written, guaranteed to provoke gigglesnorts (to use your own phrase) and more hilarious each time I peruse the archives.Peggy, RN in Ohio

I'm gauging this based on how tough it was not to alarm the other people in the room on a re-read.

I can safely say, Ratel had the most laughs. It's multiple stories, to boot.

But if you're getting this published, especially in a magazine, I prefer Squeaks. Ratel doesn't start off with such a bang, and it jumps around in the narration. Both had me in stitches anyway - you can't go wrong!

My mind is reeling from the hilarity it has just ingested. I went and read the comments just to let it all sink in, and have come to a conclusion.

Ratel. Perhaps the tones of boyhood shenanigans tug at my once-boy heart, but I also find it a more rounded-out story, and particularly enjoy the background stories that led to the circumstances of the characters in the main story thread. The fact that Sneezy gets his comeuppance in the end just adds a cherry to the top.

They're both wonderful - and hilarious! I do, though, think that Ratel would work better. Longer, great intertwining of the stories, et cetera.

But really? I would love to see a "LawDog's Childhood: The Memoir" type of book on the shelves. A whole collection of your Africa stories? In print? Dude, I'd shove my beloved David Sedaris collection over to make room for that. :)

Typically, I read The LawDog Files whilst at work. It's to the point where, when my employees hear me giggling behind the monitor, one of them will mutter, "LawDog", another will nod knowingly, and they will leave me alone for a while.

Now, I've read both Squeaks and the Ratel tale previously, at work, giggled uncontrollably at both, but those in my little sphere of limited and self-important influence have only thought they might have to call paramedics on one occasion, and that occasion was during my perusal of the Ratel incident.

Blue of face, glisteny of countenance, short of oxygen, flirty with the Reaper funny, it is. Not an easy choice to make, but Ratel gets my vote.

So, Dawg, when are you gonna gimme a yell so I can transfer the domain to you (total cost: a cold frosty beverage, should our paths ever cross)? If you're doing a book, you're gonna need a real web site.

Might I ask when we may learn the story behind the astro-lizards and your discovery of Ammonium Tri-Iodide? I suspect there is still gold in that stream... BTW, I think I found a picture of Phydeux, or at least one of his close relatives...http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26425664/

I don't know that the Johnson story was "better"... and I'd much _rather_ read Pink Gorilla... but the Johnson story _should_ be read by anyone and everyone at least once. It's a more _important_ story.

For the current question: Ratel

However, if you ARE collecting that anthology all four stories really should be in there.

LD, hard to choose between the two. Squeaks has more of a human interest angle and will rate higher with women, especially those who hate snakes. The ratel saga, well, let me say that I'm jealous of your childhood.

Ratel gets my vote.

BTW, I remember the story I ran across once in your archives about the little lizard that bit a man on the nose. Been a while and I can't seem to find it again.

Anyways, I can say I've spent good money on books that don't hold my intrest as well as your writing. Excellent job, and thank you for sharing.

Squeaks was very good, but the Ratel was better...longer and had me rolling harder on the floor. If you're deciding which to include in your compilation I'd say "Both." but if only one can go in, make it the Ratel.

From someone else's link, I got Ratel #1, and then I just spent the entire day today reading your entire blog archives just to make sure I didn't miss any Ratel follow-ups. And now you've got the whole set all lined up together--thank you!

The Ratel saga actually has several other stories in it - the ball python, and the trebuchet. All great stories, and as it stands now, far more giggles, but it's unfair to compare that to the singular Squeaks.

If you separated them out, I think you'd find Squeaks still wins out.

"Madame has gone to get her machete" is pretty much the deciding factor. :)