I am America's Senior Comedian (R).

Feed Me!

These photos are of His Benevolence, Christopher King, Supreme Ruler of 3-Space. They are suitable for framing and display in public buildings, over your desk, on coins, etc.

The stage photos, the rubble series, the beer series, and the holding-eyeglasses series are courtesy of Gregg Matthews, Orlando. All others by Chris King.

Clicking the thumbnail will show a 300dpi version.

Generally, the staged photos were taken in the olden days, around 2004. I have not aged at all, so you may regard these to be an accurate representation of what my big fat pot belly does not look like.

When the Government Man decides to stab his fat, dirty fingers at things and initiate non-linearity, you may use these in your newspaper or on your TV show if you like.

05/31/2010

"They planned this attack."

The Israeli military said troops only opened fire after encountering
unexpected resistance from the activists. Activists attacked troops with
knives and iron rods, and opened fire with two pistols seized from the
forces.

A total of five soldiers were wounded, two seriously, including at least
one hit by live fire, the army said. Two of the dead activists had
fired at soldiers with pistols, the army said.

"They planned this attack," said Israeli military spokeswoman Lt. Col.
Avital Leibovitch. "Our soldiers were injured from these knives and
sharp metal objects ... as well as from live fire."

"Those crafty humanitarians! It was all their fault! They lured us right into a trap! They beckoned us to approach and to storm their ships like the Jewish animals we are! And we, we were waving guns around, see, minding our own business! And they sprung their trap! They attacked us with rods and sticks! So we had to act like the Jewish animals we are and open fire on people bringing food!"

If you are reading this, you are morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket to my show, which is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian. Tickets are $100 per person, per year. Click to buy your ticket. If you truly don't have the money, you get in for free; otherwise no exceptions to this rule. Thanks, Chris.