Ochocinco's breakfast cereal has a number supposedly for a charity printed on it. I called it, and got this: "Get off with the sluttiest girls your imagination can dream up." Oh dear, Chad wants your children to grow up fast.

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Go buy Ochocinc'O's! They're like Honey Nut Cheerios, except with a maladjusted manchild on the box. But on the side of the box, there's a phone number that's supposed to belong to the charity "Feed The Children." But 1-800-HELP-FTC instead gives you a sultry voice, promising all kinds of naughty things for $2.99 a minute. I don't think I want to know what "FTC" in that phone number stands for.

The charity's number is actually an 888 number, so someone made a whoopsie. The best part of this is, the mistake was first discovered by a 9-year-old girl and her family calling the number on speakerphone.

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So if you live near Cincinnati, might as well pick up a box. You'll get two different kinds of O's.