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Wednesday, 8 October 2014

A couple of months have passed since we last blogged and tbh we're not sure if we're going to blog regularly again because life, trauma, dying pets, time, age, old, very very old, etc.

However Isa is currently innoculated with 8 different vaccines and therefore seriously high and possibly developing mumps and yellow fever and Fani has a sort of job with some extra time and no-one has been blogging anything very funny lately. And although we are well aware of how specific our humour may be and this shit ain't funny and fuck Cape Town hipsters and the only female with any form of humour in South Africa is still Anne Hirsch.

But because Ebola, and crap politics, and pending doom and Rocking the Daisies and the sea dying here is what we found entertaining in the last few months.

1. First and foremost the J-Lo&Iggy Big Booty video. We get it J-Lo you have a big ass now CALM THE FUCK DOWN. We hand it to her for looking good at 40 but this did feel like abit of a desperate plea for relevance.

The music video starts and my first reaction is WHY AM I IN SPACE?

seriously?!

Iggy's glorious butt opens the video and you think phew everything is going to be alright

But then they start going butt to butt and you're like why are you going butt to butt? Is this a daggering video?

And J-Lo proceeds to quite literally SIT on Iggy

Untill Iggy fights back with some elbows

And then it REALLY begins and it's like Flashdance had an epileptic fit and someone gave J-Lo a shot of adrenaline and you're really really worried about her health

No she won't stop

I think she quite literally CAN'T stop

Iggy's first look of why did I agree to this?

But J-Lo is fighting back harder than ever

Untill Iggy reluctantly gives in

Quite literally my favourite still in the whole video

And attempts a sexy pat on J-Lo's butt which ends up making you feel like you watched someone being abused

Suddenly when you thought the ordeal was over J-Lo is in some kind of jello (lol)

Sliding around like a lubed up mermaid

WE GET IT YOUR BUTT IS WET

This all comes to a brilliant finish involving a fake cigarette and some seriously bad sunglasses

J-Lo attempts to teach us various smoking poses

However there is still NO smoke coming from that very unlit cigarette

She gives us what you think is a final shake

Which suddenly looks like it could be turning into a possible seizure

But no she recovers and gives us one last clear look at her butt (in case ANYONE had missed it)

Before this brutal finish involving unlit cigarette and what looks like a tiny penis between her legs

This video made me think two things

1. Need butt implants like Iggy

2. Hope I NEVER bump into J-Lo in the club for fear of butt suffocation