Ugly People More Likely To Commit Crime, Study Says

Not since close-set eyes and low sloping foreheads has there been such a grand indicator of nefarious individuals.

Published in The Review of Economics and Statistics, a paper entitled "Ugly Criminals" has set off a firestorm in very homely communities. The statistical analysis concludes that the more revolting people among us are more likely to break the law. David Hambling of Fortean Times writes:

"It is based on an anonymous questionnaire combined with equally anonymous ratings of the subject’s attractiveness. It shows a small but significant correlation between attractiveness, or the lack of it, and criminality. The most unattractive segment are 1.5 per cent more likely to have committed robbery, 2.2 per cent more likely to have committed assault, and 3 per cent more likely to have sold drugs. Or to have been caught doing so, at any rate."

The study goes on to posit that attractive folks are more successful in their careers and earn a higher wage, which puts an incentive for the unsightly to choose illicit methods of earning a living. Adding to that provocation, the grotesque are less likely to make friends and engage in social interaction that would increase sympathy toward their fellow man.

But never mind that. You simply have to meet him. He's got a great personality!