Blondini's Fetid Forty 2006 (#1)

Oh, this is a chart i relish doing! Dish out the bile and condemn the wicked and/ or lazy! I'm not gonna give any of these cretinous recordings the luxury of pictures but i WILL highlight the titles, so you can be sure of shit from shynola.

40 Clea- Lucky Like That

I ADORED Download It but this pathetic B*Witched cast-off deservedly killed their career. And the shocking make-up design in the video was laughable!

39 Larrikin Love- Downing Street Kindling

God, i hate this rag-tag bunch of pansy-asses. What kind of a poncy title is that!? Singer has the worst haircut in pop history.

38 Babyshambles- The Blinding

Over-rated tosspot. F*ck Forever was decent, absolutely everything else is rambling tunefree bollocks. If he died of a heroin overdose tomorrow, the world would be no worse off. *avoids space75's flying daggers*

37 Rihanna- We Ride

I wouldn't mind you riding me, as long as i could cut your tongue off first. I liked Pon De Replay, ragga is her forte. Pop/ r n b is not.

36 The Darkness- Girlfriend

Disco! How to kill your career with one song. Shit album helped, too. Lil Chris can do it better.

35 MVP- Bounce, Shake, Move, Stop

Last one please.

34 Duncan James- Sooner Or Later

#35.

33 Larrikin Love- Edwould

Look at that title! No tune. Pretentious thinks-it's-clever scruffy indie shite. Everything that is bad about indie.

32 Justin Timberlake- Sexyback

Monotonous in the extreme. Like being lobotomised very slowly. Thankfully My Love came next- dreamy.

31 The Eagles Of Death Metal- I Want You So Hard

Even worse than The Darkness was this rock parody group of sorts. Featuring Josh from Queens of the Stone Age but featuring none of their wit or power. The singer is an arsehole.

30 Andy Abraham- Hung Up

#63!! Hopelessly out of date Vandross pastiche. Back to the bins, then!

29 Pawn Shop- Shot Away

Another of those louped house farragos. The Stones' Gimme Shelter is throttled to death. Thanfully, the public ignored this one.

28 Beatfreakz- Somebody's Watching Me

They didn't ignore this overplayed garbabe, tho.

27 Beyonce/ Jay-Z- Deja Vu

No tune. Just her shouting for three minutes. A bloody racket.

26 Fedde Le Grande- Put Your Hands Up For Detroit

Can someone please explain the appeal of this? I'm baffled. I loved Size 9's I'm Ready so it's not the repetition that gets to me, but the beat is shit, the lyric is meaningless to non-Detroit people. The only good bit is the part where he sounds like he's about to hurl.

25 Shayne Ward- Stand By Me

Not only did it ruin the memory of a great (and better) song, it was completely devoid of any kind of memorable melody. Who wants him now Leona is here??

most of the songs from your list are crap indeed, however these I like:

39 Larrikin Love- Downing Street Kindling33 Larrikin Love- Edwould

I found Larrikin quite an interesting band, though mostly on that two songs - album is disappointing

24 Pussycat Dolls/ Will I Am- Beep 23 Black Eyed Peas- Pump It

while most latest BEP and PCD in general are simply awful, both these tracks work as minor revelations: the BEP's one has a tune (finally!), even though it's not their it still works, and PCD have more or less interesting lyrics, which never seemed to appear on their other hits.. so, frankly, you chose the best from the worst

21 Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly- The Chronicles Of A Bohemian Teenager Part Onemeh
just meh
he's cool

still, great calls on Fedde, Justin and that ugly Chamillionaire song which almost made my worst chart - it didn't only because I only heard the song once when compiling it

I agree with most of your choices here especially Clea, Duncan James, MVP, Chamillionaire, Justin Timberlake, The Eagles Of Death Metal, Beatfreakz, Beyonce, Shayne Ward, and the Pussycat Dolls. Fedde Le Grand I kinda like but is highly overrated (can see why people would hate it) but Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly?? How could you?!!

Blondini wrote:PCD interesting lyrics, Misha??? It's got the laziest lyrics of all of them. If u can call "beep" a lyric.

read my lips, Tony: "more or less interesting" I mean, I can't see "don't cha want you girlfriend be hot like me" as lyrics at all, the same goes to the unbuttoning anything in the song, or whatever these buttons are supposed to do
"beep" at least suggests an interesting sexist debate

I believe we're on the same page here, Tony when girls say that to guys it's like stating the obvious in more or less teasing, not offensive way (at least in that song, not your everyday "whatcha staring at?" )
however, when a guy states such things with all seriousness (I mean, it's an actual love song for god's sake ), it puts a stigma on all men! it's like, "yeah, you're right, and we're proud of being shallow" well, I guess neither you, nor me would sign under such statements...

Yeah, maybe that's it. If Kelis says she likes a guys arse, i don't mind. If Nas says he likes her arse, maybe not. Although they ARE a couple so maybe that's a bad example. It's a topic i'm doing in my dissertation on Race and Ethnicity Representation in Music Video. That 50 Cent Candy Shop video that i loathe with a passion. Our lecturers would argue that Olivia- the woman in it- is a strong , dominant woman who ultimately makes Fiddy look foolish, but i can't get past his leering, smug, sexist bullshit to see that. He plays up to the role of a infantilised sex-obssessed thug.

"In Da Club"- help, i need spelling, speaking lessons. "Candy Shop"- i'm a big kid, look at all these toys i can get my hands on- they don't talk back either. Well, Olivia does but only by repeating what he already fantasises about. Yes, she's strong and dominant, but she's Fiddy's fantasy. He wants to be dominated and i think she and him are just musical prostitutes that set back black people by thirty years,.

On the other hand, Kelis talking about her tits in Milkshake IS sexy, powerful and commanding. Unlike Lil Kim or Shawnna or any number of what i call "cypher sluts", she has her own unique authorial stamp on her records. I think Caught Out There (which was a non-sexual, independent Pink- esque "F*ck You" of a song) gave her respect that other cypher sluts could never gain. I don't know. Bossy was shit, tho and i'm not sure how in control she is of her career if she can let that slip.

I think Bossy has showed that Kelis is still well on top. It reeks of her being sexy, powerful and commanding.

I agree with what you say about Fifty Cent. His video's are cringeworthy, and that's one of the reasons i like Kelis, she turns the tables on knobs like him with her self assertion and inpenetrable bad ass-ness.

Anything by Rihanna is c**p that she released this year especially SOS Babyshambles - I just think their songs are a shambles Justin Timberlake - Sexyback - agreed completely terrible
Andy Abraham - Hung up - this is OK Beatfreakz - Somebody's watching me - awful though the follow-up is even worse
Fedde Le Grand - Put yours hands up... - can't be bothered typing the whole thing appalled this made #1 Pussycat Dolls - Beep - Like all their singles I think they are all OK that's all
Black Eyed Peas - Pump it - not one of their best for sure (Fun Lovin' Criminals were really good!!)

WHOOPS! Love all of those I think Pussycat Dolls/will.i.am and Beyoncé/Jay-Z are great urban tracks and Duncan James is a cool pop song! Clea is great and The Darkness song is REALLY good. Andy Abraham and Beatfreakz I can understand not liking though.

Not a bad song but her horrible nasal vocal style- Nuuuu- Nuuuu Muuurderer- is just absolutely painful to listen to. She is a ragga vocalist- not a ballad singer.

14 Us5- Maria

Just shit empty pop.

13 Busta Rhymes/ Kelis- I Love My Chick/ Bitch

Used to like em both. This is just awful monotonous dross- the bitch version is reprehensible.

12 Ronan Keating- Iris

Piss-weak cover of soft rock anthem. But at least it revived the original.

11 Chico- It's Chico Time

I don't need to explain this.

10 D4L- Laffy Taffy

Moronic sexist bullshit. Monotonous drivel.

9 Westlife- The Rose

Bette Midler was irksome already, this HEARTLESS cover just sucks the life out of me. Stop killing music, boys. A regular pain in the arse only less than...

8 Crazy Frog- Last Christmas

What a great idea- a Crazy Frog ballad! Faye Tozer from Steps (sounds like her!) warbles the song while our esteemed vocalist's great contribution is the obligatory "ding ding" at the end of each chorus. It actually made me laugh , such was the audacity of it.

7 Katie Price and Peter Andre- A Whole New World

Do i need to explain THIS????

6 Rihanna- SOS

Oh, where do i start? Her passionless vocal, the hamfisted way the classic Soft Cell song is bastardized into a new song. Sugababes did it well. The Strokes vs Christina's Genie boootleg is a lost classic. Even Jamelia came off well with theMode mashup, but this just reaks of heartlessness and lack of imagination, or maybe it's just her. I liked her as a ragga person. She does not suit pop AT ALL.
I detest this woman's music and i detest the fact that people on here love her. Just drop a cliff and die, or go back to reggae, please.

I love 'Unfaithful' (yeah you're so right about her stupid nasal vocals, but the song is okay) and 'SOS' is listeanable too for that matter, but the others are shitfest especially D4L and the Frog! We're on the right track Tony!