Whenever me and my boyfriend have sex, I just can't seem to orgasm. I mean, don't get me wrong. It feels REALLY good and stuff, but I just can't seem to get to that point. I think the only way that I really could orgasm is from clitoral stimulation, but when your having sex, there's like no way you stimulate that area with the penis. Is there?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 06-17-2005 at 02:38 PM.
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Humm?,
Why can't he stimulate that "area" with his penis?..I sure do,,, finger ect,,ect...lots of lube...sounds like your just not aroused enough during intercourse! maybe you should just try to relax more...be in an unthinking kind of mood and just let it feel good to you!...for some women they do have a hard time hacing orgsams during intercourse.
try relaxing more!

Considering that most women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone, you shouldn't be surprised. Most women need clitoral stimulation and you have no doubt discovered that the penis doesn't actually have much contact with that area during intercourse. Maybe in you get into certain positions, it might have contact with his pubic bone, but that's about it. Don't be afraid to get your (or his) hands in there, because that's usually what it takes.

And it has nothing to do with not being aroused enough or relaxed enough, it has to do with how most women have orgasms... via clitoral stimulation, if it doesn't get any during intercourse, it ain't gonna happen.

I have to disgree with you thisby (sorry),
arousel and relaxtion plays a big part during an intimate session! and can esculate an orgasm for "some" women not "all" women but some!...I think arousel is a stimulant! and being relaxed just helps to get there!

stimulateing the clitoris is usally how a woman gets an orgasms ture!

From my experince women are different in what they want different stmulation....arousel is different...and orgasams are different....meaning in time duration/and stimulation

I've had women that only take bout 5 min to have an orgasam and others take 30 min and some never did? and they was aroused and relaxed and clitoral stimulated!
so go figure??

Once again Chevyman, you seem to have missed my point and then gone on to argue my point for me. You originally suggested to DivaDevilition that she wasn't relaxed or aroused enough, and I was only trying to point out that no matter how relaxed or aroused a woman is, if she doesn't get the right stimulation, she won't have an orgasm. Period.

Yeah, Thisby I think your definitely right. I am completely comfortable and aroused when I'm with my boyfriend, but seriously the only way I can orgasm is from clitoral stimulation. I guess he could use his fingers and stuff, but that seems so mechanical. I wish I could just orgasm from sex alone. Isn't there a spot *inside* me though that he could find that could make me orgasm?

Diva, most women do have to have clitorial stimulation to have an orgasm. I never had one during sex until I starting dating my husband. I found that me being on top made all the difference in the world, and in talking to my girlfriends - they are the same way. If you are on top, you can manuver yourself where when he is trusting, it is rubbing against your clitorus. It feels so much better that way, because you are getting direction stimulation. Have you tried this by any chance? Another hint - is try "Vigel" topical gel. That stuff makes you so sensitive - I guarantee you will have one! I found mine at a drugstore here, but haven't seen it any where else.

Yeah, we've tried where I'm on top but I honestly can't move myself very well when I'm on top. I'm still new to sex so he's still really tight in me and, sad to say, usually does most of the work lol. I'll definitely try it though. Vigel sounds familiar to me too. I know KY just came out with this warming gel stuff. I've seen it at Wal-Mart. Maybe that'll work too?

Diva, I tried the KY Warming stuff and it didn't do a thing for me. It was sticky too since it has glycerin in it, and I was afraid it would cause me to have a yeast infection. Experiment and see what feels good to you and stick with it.

For me i have to really be in the mood to have sex in order to have an orgasm.It isn't going to happen unless you want it to,meaning you have to be really turned on.I need at least 15 minutes of foreplay to build up to an orgasm or it wont happen.And the percentage of woman who can orgasm during intercourse alone without clitoral stimulation is close to none.Maybe a few out there.Pretty much all woman need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.They say woman on top position is better for having an orgasm because you can position you clitoris on his pelvic bone but I can have one lying on my back easier for some reason doing the same thing.My bf tells me i'm lazy for lying down doing all the work,lol,but he says it feels the best that way for him too so.Anyway's just think happy thoughts and think of feeling good and sexy.Not how can I make myself have an orgasm.

For me i have to really be in the mood to have sex in order to have an orgasm.It isn't going to happen unless you want it to,meaning you have to be really turned on.I need at least 15 minutes of foreplay to build up to an orgasm or it wont happen.And the percentage of woman who can orgasm during intercourse alone without clitoral stimulation is close to none.Maybe a few out there.Pretty much all woman need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.They say woman on top position is better for having an orgasm because you can position you clitoris on his pelvic bone but I can have one lying on my back easier for some reason doing the same thing.My bf tells me i'm lazy for lying down doing all the work,lol,but he says it feels the best that way for him too so.Anyway's just think happy thoughts and think of feeling good and sexy.Not how can I make myself have an orgasm.

It is true that most women cannot reach orgasm through intercourse alone. The clitoris has to be stimulated and the penis simply does not come into contact enough with the clitoris during intercourse. I've heard that some different positions may cause the penis to come into contact a little more, but the only way I can reach orgasm is through oral sex or using a vibrator, or lots of stimulation with the man's hand.

Also, extended foreplay helps increase the intensity of an orgasm. There is an excellent vibrator recommended by Dr. Ruth, called an oscillitator, which I have and it works every time. There's nothing wrong with using vibrators to achieve orgasm. I have had extremely intense orgasms with the oscillitator (or something like that) and also reach orgasm a lot faster! Try this and you won't be disappointed.

Men should not feel inadequate because their girlfriends cannot reach orgasm from intercourse alone and shouldn't be opposed to using other methods to satisfy their girlfriends, such as vibrators and oral sex. When a woman seems to experience orgasm just from intercourse alone, she may very well be faking it just to appease her partner.

i too have this same problem. in fact during clitoral stimulation i get much closer but never orgasam. sometimes after a while i dont have enough lubrication. ive been told many times i need to relax but i think im pretty relaxed. it feels like something is wrong with me.

Can you bring yourself to orgasm - or just during sex? I never could during sex until I met I husband. He had some moves that other men never had, and I find it alot easier with him. I'm like you, with others, I would come very close, but just not get quite there! Very frustrating.

Diva,
I was in your situation ever since I first lost my virginity. Never not once did I have an orgasm during intercourse. Not once. I could have one other ways, no problem. I became 100% convinced it would never happen. Until the most amazing thing happened and I actually had one with the guy I'm with now. It felt like I had just had REAL sex for the first time ever! I was elated! You know how he did it? It's quite simple actually. He was on top, and he just held himself very close to me so his pelvic area was rubbing up against me. When I felt it about to happen I thought I was dreaming!! Now I have one that way each and every time. I'm marrying this man!!!!
Have your boyfriend try just really making sure he's grinding and rubbing up against you while he's on top. And you can kinda move your own hips as well.
Good luck and I truly hope you get to experience it!!