Monday, January 18, 2010

Recently, while I was browsing my Facebook account, my eyes got caught at the application namely Angel Name Generator. I love this name generator and had played several times before. Since I was curious what my angel name would be, I played the generator. And the result was........NATHANIEL The Angel of Fire.

The first time I saw the name, all I could thought was: "Huh?????"....hahahaha.....I didn't know any angel named Nathaniel. And it made me more curious. So, I googled the name and found two websites that gave a clear description about Nathaniel.

According to Worldwide Mediums and Psychics, Angel of Fire Nathaniel means "gift of God". He is lord over the element of fire, a powerful gift from God. He is constantly watching for spiritual fires of aspiration rising from earth. He transfers the fire aspect of divinity to our world where it transforms consciousness from the limited self to the eternal self by burning away misconceptions that would have us believe that we are separate from God.

Okay, I couldn't understand 100% what those words above meant...hehehe... Then I searched through google once again, and found this interesting blog...

Actually, the article in the blog was about an oracle card, which called Angel Nathaniel. I quoted a part that drew my attention:

.......... When this card comes to us it means that Angel Nathaniel is guiding us to call upon him so that he can bring these divine flames to whatever is limiting us as an obstacle at the moment. When one is being cleansed of something, it tends to show up in the forms of:

becoming super aware of what needs to be changed in life, what action needs to be taken in order to produce forward movement,

the sudden desire to withdraw from interactions and beliefs that tend to limit our power instead of helping us to embrace it,

the desire to become clear about what needs to be organized within our lives so that we can create a deeper sense of focus, concentration, and the understanding of what our true goals are.

Angel Nathaniel also brings the awareness of healthy limitation as fire can be a symbol of energy that needs to be used with caution, respect, and boundries.

When I read and tried to absorbe the meaning of those sentences above, I suddenly remembered about my previous writing about the confused feeling in me. And I was a little shocked when realized that somehow there was a connection between these two. It was like someone offered me an answer to the heaviness in me. So surprised, that I checked and played the name generator three times already! And the results were always the same....Nathaniel the Angel of Fire. I started to think that this particular angel is sent as my guardian angel...hehehe.....

So, in the end I read these pray below, to ask Angel Nathaniel to come into my heavy thoughts for a mini angel treatment:

Angel Nathaniel, we welcome you into our sacred energy and space for the healing and restoration of our divine passions. Where there was heaviness, fear, and emotional wounds, let your divine fires cleanse away the heavy energies of our spirit so that light, confidence, love, wholeness, and passion for living can surface. Thank you for the divine assistance and I look forward to seeing how this angelic purification manifests in my world....................

Sunday, January 17, 2010

There have been so many things happened during these three months in my life. In one part, it was as though God granted me what I wished for so long at the exact time when I really needed a way out. In another, it had also pushed me into a fast lane that made me have to jump forward without stop and think for a moment.

When the time standstilled for a while, suddenly I found myself in no-man's land. Sure, the new environment made a space for me, but I couldn't fit in without getting crushed. And I refused to be crushed, not when the old place kept calling me to be back to them. I reasoned that since so many changes has been happened on me, at least I had to have something solid in which I could bury myself if there would be something bad happened in the other aspects of my life. So, okay, before the time started to roll me under again, I jumped out and responded to the old place. And what I found?

After won my sympathy and made me jump back to them, the old place made me waiting for another week to start. And now I'm spending my extra holiday by wondering what it all means? Making me once again having second thought about my decision, whether I'd better stop here or walk away again. Whether it is the right decision or not. It even had made me couldn't concentrate at the evening mass last night. Well, not just this problem...there was also another thing bothering my mind, but it's another story..hehehe...

In the middle of thick cloud surrounding my mind, I heard the voice of my Priest gave sermon about choices and consequences. That every step we take will have its own consequence(s). That we shouldn't worry, because no matter what, God will help us anytime we ask and need. Actually, I had read something similar one day before, when every confusions started to arise inside my mind. But it couldn't stop me worrying and thinking.

At this time, I'm sort of giving my confusion in God's hand. Yes, I'm still worrying...it is after all a part of my caracter - the need to be sure of where I belong to. But I also realised that I had made a choice, no matter which direction it was. That I had to make a best of it. That I have to believe that everything is happened for a reason. That God won't give me more than I could handle. I just wish I will be strong enough to face it.........