Shll I cmpare thee 2 a smmr's day

It's the antidote to speed dating, and it's catching on fast. Modern lovers are rediscovering the power of poetry with SMS messaging — and a new way of dating. Hugh Wilson reports.

It is, according to the American press, "a fascinating alternate universe", "the perfect antidote to all that noise" and "a singles scene unlike any other". It’s also a party where the DJ never turns up and everybody studiously avoids talking to each other.

We've all been to gatherings like that, but, in this case, it’s deliberate. For a Saturday-night crowd who just wants to go out, get drunk and hear themselves think, the Quiet Party is the coolest new club night in New York — and the organisers have plans to transport it to Australia.

Quiet Party is based on the simple premise that it's easier to communicate with current or potential partners if we're not being driven to distraction by repetitive beats, drunken yelling and the squeaking of mobile phones. But there's a twist. The bit of Quiet Party that's got everybody talking is the bit where nobody talks at all.

There's a gentle murmur over by the bar area, admittedly, but it gives way to quiet coughs and stifled giggles in the designated Silent Area. Here, talking at any level is banned, and partygoers — mostly singles — communicate with just body language and the pens and paper provided. "Once this playful foundation mixes with a little alcohol, inhibitions disappear and notes begin to fly," says Quiet Party co-founder Paul Rebhan.

"The notes range from funny and flirty to naughty and nasty, and some are just down-right hysterical."

"I'm a professional handwriting analyst. We need to talk," reads one. "Forget the paper, write on my body," runs another. Punters are rediscovering the power of the flirty note and the romantic one-liner.

"It’s brilliant," says Keith O'Brien, 23. "You’re hiding under the cloak of anonymity, but you can be your own editor." And note-writing seems to encourage a more open communication than the self-conscious (and often semi-conscience) chitchat that usually occurs in singles bars.

Rebhan is hoping to export the Quiet Party concept to the United Kingdom and Australia (there are already Quiet Parties in Washington and Beijing), as soon as he can find suitable hosts.

The website (www.quiet-party. com) gets hundreds of hits a day, mostly from the US but also from countries such as Australia, New Zealand and even Afghanistan. Proof that it's an idea that can easily adapt to other parts of the world.

Residents of crowded urban areas, no matter where they live, have very few opportunities to find tranquillity, especially in social settings, says Rebhan, and the Quiet Party gives people a chance to socialise without competing over blaring music, televisions or mobile phones.

"It brings people back to a more personal and intimate form of communication and it does this in a way that is lots of fun," he says.

Aside from the Quiet Party scene, there are signs that we are catching the writing bug anyway. While singles scribble notes to seduce, couples are rediscovering the romantic, erotic and therapeutic power of love letters and poems. There is a quiet explosion of amorous writing, updated for the 21st century and, in our time-restricted lives — according to experts — writing our feelings down can only do ourselves and our relationships a good.

In the UK, Lord Byron has emerged as an unlikely role model. CityPoems has been billed as a "living, evolving" biography of the city of Leeds, written by, and relevant to, its population. A network of electronic "poem points" has been established across town, through which residents can download poems on to their mobile phones and contribute their own by sending them as text messages. What they're producing, in huge numbers, are short, punchy text poems about love and seduction.

"It's come as a shock to us that well over 50 per cent of the contributions are a bit, well, lovey," says Andrew Wilson, one of the organisers of CityPoems and author of the forthcoming Text Messaging. "But then, poetry has always been the perfect medium to express romantic feelings. It's a heightened, more intense form of the words we use every day, just as love is a heightened, more intense emotion."

Meanwhile, couples are using letter-writing as a kind of relationship therapy, exactly because it makes them slow down and think about the way they feel. A couple I know has started exchanging an initial letter before they sit down to talk a problem through. Points of view are aired fully and calmly, they say, with the added benefit that crockery remains intact.

Relationship experts are encouraging writing as a form of self-reflection. "I often suggest couples write a letter as an important step in talking about problems," says relationship coach Dr Elayne Savage, author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. "It's a calm, nonreactive way to approach relationship problems."

In fact, says Savage, writing is a powerful weapon in any romantic armoury, whatever the stage or state of the relationship.

"Letter-writing creates fantasies. That can be just the spark many relationships need." Traditional love letters are also making a comeback — with a 21st century twist.

Erica Klein is a romantic communications consultant, author and the founder of www.lovewriter.com and www.ladylovewriter.com. These popular sites produce "personalised love letters, seduction letters and break-up letters" for people who understand the power of romantic prose but don't have the technique.

Paying a complete stranger to express your heartfelt feeling might be missing the point a bit, but Klein says there are good reasons why people are using writing in their personal lives again, whether or not they pay for it.

"A romantic letter, even if it contains heartbreaking news, is accepted better by the recipient because they know the sender has put a lot of time and thought into creating it," she says (and the form her clients fill in is very thorough). "Plus, you can save a real love letter — something that people are less likely to do with an email."

Klein says requests for letters from her websites is increasing in Australia probably partly because the lovewriter.com site is heavily trafficked and has risen in search engine rankings.

The site offers four types of custom-created love letters — love, seduction, relationship-mending and gentle break-up letters. And via ladylovewriter.com, Klein also offers a letter aimed at partners who women would like to encourage to marry them.

Klein began the lovewriter.com site to offer men romantic communication services. "As an author of several non-fiction books on relationships it was clear men struggled with relationship issues and had a tougher time conveying feelings, especially vulnerable and difficult emotions," she says.

There are plenty of examples of the new ways we’re using writing in our romantic lives. Erotic writing classes are aimed at people who want to write sexy prose for themselves and their partners. Artist Asia Wong has sent out 300 love letters to strangers to test their life-enhancing power. But why is all this literary activity happening?

Klein believes we're rediscovering writing because it allows for intelligent analysis of our emotions in a world that favours snatched conversations and instant replies.

"Writing a heartfelt love letter is a lost art," she says. "A love letter is something to be savoured, and in our time-compressed world, few people slow down enough to do that. Email has further eroded the subtle skills necessary. But as more and more people are discovering, if you do take the time to write a letter, you instantly stand out from the crowd — a letter is far better received."