Letter: Remembering a friend

Tuesday

For the past 17 years I have been blessed to have had a wonderful friend by the name of Arlene Ensminger. Arlene was from California, and retired when she moved to New Bern.

For the past 17 years I have been blessed to have had a wonderful friend by the name of Arlene Ensminger. Arlene was from California, and retired when she moved to New Bern. We first met as she rolled her wheelchair into the salon and it just so happened I was the lucky one who had an opening. I picked up and moved my hydraulic chair and she wheeled right in its place-no help wanted. We talked as I cut, and I learned she had been a victim of Polio from her early 20s — confining her to a wheelchair, but that in no way kept her down. She was extremely independent never ceasing to amaze me.

I quickly discovered she was a lover of animals so we hit it off from the beginning and became wonderful friends. Her smile was infectious and her heart, always sincere.

By 2008 Arlene had to face the amputation of her right leg, and for the first time ever, I saw sadness in her big blue eyes. Not only had she lost her leg, but she was now confined to a nursing facility, Twin Rivers, Trent Campus. Yet within months that sparkle came back and she was settling into her new home in all acceptance making new friends, writing her letters and visiting other residents.

Visiting Arlene at the facility truly became a major highlight for me. While my world around me would seem so overwhelming at times, after spending a couple of hours in her presence I would become inspired. She had such a beautiful perspective of things. Our faith and testimonies became an inseparable bond. She cared not only for me but my whole family. My children and husband loved her as part of the family too. Somehow Arlene’s love just overflowed into everyone’s life, she was sincere, she was real, there were no pretenses or falsehoods only truth and love. She would send cards and notes to all that she knew regularly, kept up with her faith, friends and family from California to the North Carolina coast. Once in a blue moon she would become irritated over something and it tickled me reminding me she still was the strongest women I knew, but things get to all of us! She did have a bit of a stubborn streak as well, as we disagreed on political policy often but we would banter in love and always laugh about our differences knowing neither one of us was going to give up our opinion. I know she would say the same about my stubbornness!

But in knowing all of this, on Saturday May 4 at 80 years old, Arlene went to be with Christ. She ended up in the hospital after contracting pneumonia and suffering a collapsed lung, all with further complications. After denying further treatment she was returned to the facility and made comfortable….One at a time I watched as attendants, nurses, physical therapists, and residents all came to say their good-byes in tears. Some were in their own wheelchairs, some with walkers, they were both young and old, black and white and from every background imaginable. Over and over they shared of how they would visit Arlene in her room, sit on her bed and pour out their problems; how she would lift their spirits, ask for pictures of kids and family members and how they felt as if they were the only one who had her 100% attention. She really listened…and they ALWAYS left feeling renewed and inspired just like I did.

I climbed in the truck upon saying my last good-bye on Friday afternoon sitting in silence … just thinking about our last moments together … I thought of all those people she had touched, all the inspiration she was to EVERY SINGLE PERSON SHE MET … the lives she lifted up and the joy she brought. This woman, Arlene, a resident of a nursing home, one who had every right to complain, one who had every right to feel sorry for her-self, completely turned the tables and became a magnet of absolute joy for others. What a lesson she taught me and what a wonderful example she was to all who knew her…..if each of us were only as inspiring regardless of our circumstances. She was a living testimony of being Christ-like.

As my husband said, there is no doubt Arlene walked through those pearly gates with both legs, completely upright with no mechanical devices for assistance. She is whole after running her race. Thank you so much to the loving and caring staff at Twin Rivers Trent Campus, you are all incredible!

Tyker Gonzales, Cove City

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