The Internal Dialogue Between A Man And His Penis During A Casual Hookup

Email this to a friend

My pops left most of the birds and the bees talk to the public elementary school system, but there was always one thing he told me about the subject: “Alex, sometimes you’ve got to think with your bigger head.” He was right. Listening to your dick can get you into some bad situations. But it can be difficult to listen to the responsible brain and tune the smaller head out. The little fucker is persistent. It’s like having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, except this devil is tucked into your waistband. Here is an internal dialogue between man and manhood during a casual hookup.

The Pickup

Man: Alright, I’ve got a big test in the morning. Time to finish this drink and go home.

Penis: End of the bar. Blonde. Grade A milks. Let me be your guide.

Man: Nope. Gotta study.

Penis: Quit being such a faggot. I’ll point to her. Follow me like a compass.

Man: Okay, I’ll say hi, but that’s it… “Hey, what’s your name?”

Penis: SUP BITCH HAHAHA

Man: “Ah, Ashlee with two ‘E’s… nice to meet you.”

Penis: OH MAN. She seriously spells her name with two ‘E’s!? It’s in the bag breeuuhh!

Man: “So what do you study?”

Penis: Pssst. Hey. Hey bro. Ask her if those warlocks are real.

Man: “Wow that’s cool. What do you want to do with a communications degree?”

P: That’s the spirit! Whip me out! Whip me out! Aha! I can see the light! Batten down the hatches, mateys, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride! Full speed ahead!

M: “Mmmm you feel so good Ashlee…”

P: Aaand Houston, we have contact, over.

M: “Ashlee you’re amazing.”

P: Future gentlemen, we have entered sector four niner-niner, AKA Ashlee’s coochie. This is not a drill, I repeat, not a drill. Charge through that there hole as fast as you can and regroup at rendezvous point E. It’s gonna be hell out there. Not all of you are gonna make it. In fact, only one of you will. So Godspeed and good luck. On my signal…

Make 14800 bucks every month… Start doing online computer-based work through our website. I have been working from home for 4 years now and I love it. I don’t have a boss standing over my shoulder and I make my own hours. The tips below are very informative and anyone currently working from home or planning to in the future could use this website… Read more on this web site… http://buzzfeedreport.tk/