Fuck you in the arse and the eye

If you’re going to carry a gun, at least learn how to use it

There’s been a lot of complete bollocks talked lately about how the UK has turned into Gun Central, making it more or less impossible to pop out to the shops without a Feral Yoof busting a cap in one’s arse.

The most egregious cunt, possibly of all time, is David Davies, who thinks that Jacqui Smith is ‘covering up’ gun crime statistics and that her comment that ‘gun crime is down’ is “an extraordinary claim”. Actually, it’s correct: while gun crime has risen overall since 1998, it fell in 2006/07 compared to 2005/06.

In the real world, the UK saw 58 firearms-related homicides in 2006/07 (that’s a one in a million chance of being shot dead, paranoia fans), and 413 firearms related incidents that resulted in serious injury (that’s a seven in a million chance of being shot and seriously hurt, paranoia fans). The total number of firearms-related deaths and injuries, including trivial ones, was 3,821 (seventy in a million). The overall number of firearms offences, adding in shootings that missed, robberies at gunpoint, people randomly caught with guns and so on, was 9,600 (180 in a million).

The most disturbing thing about the statistics is how utterly shit our hoodlums appear to be. I’m not a brilliant shot, especially with a pistol (the weapon of choice for gun-toting thugs, shotguns being a little conspicuous, sniping being too much effort, and automatic weapons being hard to get hold of). However, in the event that I did want to shoot someone, I’m fairly sure that even I’d stand a greater than 1-in-10 chance of causing them serious injury…

4 thoughts on “If you’re going to carry a gun, at least learn how to use it”

A lot of the problem here is that these morons have no concept of how to actually aim a pistol, thanks to the criminalisation of air pistols and the like. So, when they use an automatic, they shoot one-handed which usually pulls the gun off to one side;firearms, especially double-action pistols, have really heavy trigger-pulls and if you don’t clean them a lot and generally look after them really well the trigger ends up as the grittiest, grouchiest unpredictable horror you’ve ever felt.

Secondly, coupled with no knowledge these kids simply don’t practice shooting, not even with airguns or paintball guns. When it comes to trying to shoot a pistol they’re all absolute beginners in terms of technique, and believe me with pistols lots of practice, coaching and technique are the only way to be accurate (which I’m not).

Finally, glasses aren’t cool if you’re a gangsta. Ever seen a rapper wearing specs? Nope, me neither. A fair number of these would-be gangsters probably have long or short sight, which plays merry hell with accuracy when shooting.

So, crappy unmaintained guns, which they’re not practiced in using, shooting at long range at targets that all look alike at night (and darkness always spoils peoples’ aim) and its no real surprise that these kids couldn’t hit a large barn if they were standing inside it with the door shut.