Friday, March 22, 2013

Mix and Match Up

I met someone recently. It was a random thing. We kind of hit it off. She told me, even though I've only known her a few days, she thinks about me all the time. I don't know what to think.

While this could be a very exciting thing, I'm scared to death. There's a bit of an age difference between us. The age thing always gets in the way. She's 27. I'm 43. That's a pretty big age gap. And it isn't just the years. It's the life experiences, the generational differences, the expectations, the fact she's young and cute and I'm a bit...aged. Plus there's the fact that I'm old enough to be her father!

I've often joked that my wife did me a major disservice by leaving me in this life at a time when I was just beginning to approach over-the-hill status. I didn't think I would be back in the dating pool, let alone having to keep myself in shape to make myself attractive to the opposite sex. Teresa & I used to kid each other that we were so thankful we had each other because we hated the dating process so much. It felt good not having to worry about it ever again. Then she died. And now I'm worrying about it again.

I've been down this road before. Several years after Teresa passed away, I was set up on a blind date. This wasn't your typical blind date. My pastor and his wife set me up with a young lady they knew from our church, thinking that we might be a good match. They prepared an incredible evening of entertainment for us. We were blown away. It was amazing how much work they put into the preparation. It was an unforgettable evening.

First, Mark, my pastor, had me come to the church to pick up a package. Then we were instructed via email to meet at the Joanne Fabric Store in Columbia, and to take a stuffed animal with us so we could identify each other, at 5 p.m. on the following Saturday. So that's what I did. I took a stuffed animal puppy with me to Joanne's and walked around looking for a young lady carrying her own stuffed animal. With a little trepidation, I approached a woman holding a stuffed monkey. I figured she must be my date. I'm glad I was right.

We introduced ourselves to each other and exchanged pleasantries. Then I pulled out an envelope from the package I picked up from the church that told us what to do next. We were to go to the Arundel Mills Mall and go to the Bass Pro Shop, then open up the next envelope. So off we went. We chatted a bit on the way. She seemed really nice. Mark & his wife, Lu, had also given us a list of questions to ask each other, so we got to do that, too. At Bass Pro, we were instructed to go to the shoe department and ask an employee if we could try on waders. This was kind of different.... The employee pulled out a couple of pairs for each of us. They looked like thick rubber pants. So we put them on. We then were instructed to ask the employee to take a picture of both of us using a throw-away camera they supplied. We were both rather embarrassed, but it was fun and a good ice-breaker.

The rest of the evening was much more of the same. Kind of a combination of fun activities and scavenger hunt. We chatted quite a bit, too, and it gave us the opportunity to find out a lot more about each other than we probably would have under any other circumstances. We were even given a gift card for a nice dinner. Mark & Lu really went all out. It was so kind of them! I'm so appreciative of their generosity.

The only issue I had was that I had doubts about just how much we had in common. She was a teacher. So was Teresa. She even kind of resembled Teresa, in some ways. It was clear that we may have been matched due to her similarities to my wife. The other issue was the difference in our ages. It was clear she was significantly younger than me. She had just turned 30. I was 37 going on 38. Once I knew that, I kind of doomed us. Though there were clear differences between us, and we really weren't a very good match, once I knew the age difference, I backed off. Way off. I just wasn't comfortable with it. And she could tell.

We actually went out a few more times, but I broke it off with her. I never told her it was because of our age difference, but I think she knew. Mark & Lu also mentioned to me later that their success rate with these match up dates, of which they had planned several, was a big fat 0%!

So what do I do about this new young lady? She really is pretty awesome, and awesomely pretty. I just feel so dirty. I'm not supposed to feel this way about someone that much younger than me. What a dilemma. Why are women so complicated?

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Favorite Quotations

Matthew 16:23 - "But he turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.'"

Isaiah 41:10 - "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

1 Peter 5:10 - "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

1 Thessalonians 4:13 - "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope."

Titus 2:7-8 - "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."

John 15:13 - "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Joshua 24:15 - "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Luke 2:14 - "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

"Don't judge a man by where he is, because you don't know how far he has come." - C.S. Lewis

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." - George Washington

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein

"You don't lead by hitting people over the head -- that's assault, not leadership." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"The future starts today, not tomorrow." -- Pope John Paul II

"No man is a failure who has friends." - Clarence the Angel, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

"Please watch out for each other and love and forgive everybody. It's a good life; enjoy it." - Jim Henson