That place would kill me

I always thought it'd be exciting to live in Chicago. World-class business scene, beautiful lakefront and all the sausage you can eat. Schools there close on March 3 for Pulaski Day, which, whatever that is, is cool. And because I'm not a girl, cold weather never bothered me.

But after this winter? Please. Chicagoans are either bonkers or have wolf skin because this Cincinnati winter is normal there. It's 5 degrees in Cincinnati, and I can't feel my soul. It's 6 degrees in Chicago this morning, what they call "long-sleeved T-shirt weather." Sorry, Mr. Sinatra, but that ain't my kind of town.