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There is a phrase people used to use this time of the year along the lines of ‘goodwill to all men’. I haven’t heard it for a while, have you? Not even paraphrased to ‘…all men and women’ or even ‘… to all humankind’.

Those of you who have been reading my blogs for a while will have noticed that I’m always encouraging you to give random acts of kindness.

I just remembered reading an interview with Mother Theresa where the journalist was shocked at the squalor of her environment and praised her selflessness. In reply, she exclaimed, “You don’t understand! I’m happy!”

As I was struggling yet again with technology – trying to sort out a brand new printer and tearing my hair out in the process – I remembered a quote “This too shall pass”. I know from personal experience many times over that, even though it doesn’t feel so at the time, bad times usually … Read more

The experience of pain is a very personal one. What causes one person pain, another can handle with a shrug.

Some of the causes are significant and obvious – an affair, lies, betrayal and more.

And then there’s the kind of cause that is subtle, the kind that makes you go for a very long time wondering why you’re feeling hurt, upset, frustrated or resentful – and the drip-drip-drip effect continues until one day you wake up depleted, empty, with your self-confidence shattered and a strong feeling of unworthiness.

As with physical pain where the body twists itself in unlikely shapes in order to cope with it, we do the same with emotional pain. We try to adapt to minimise the pain so we can pretend it doesn’t really hurt – as I did for so many years.

As I was growing up, my parents did everything they could to ensure I suffered as few disappointments and made as few mistakes as possible. My Dad especially tended to urge me to follow his advice at all times on the grounds of his greater life experience.

When I resisted and did ‘it’ my way I, more often than not, fell flat on my face. He was then quick to point out, “See? I told you so!”

Not surprisingly, this affected any trust in my own judgement I might have had.

One of the things I continue to notice in my relationship with Paul is the importance of small gestures, the kind that, at first sight appear to be trivial but that, cumulatively, check all the important boxes. These are the gestures that, though small, have an impact which is out of all proportion to the effort it takes to make them.