Friday, July 29, 2011

every dreamer needs an anchor

In life, there are certain traits and abilities which have always labeled as the "good" ones - positivity, determination, being outgoing, being a natural leader, the ability to cook, things like that. And anything which is the opposite of those traits and abilities, will naturally be labeled as the "bad" ones.

So that's what we've always been fed ever since we were kids, and it's still the same now. That's what all the self-help books, motivational courses and inspiring articles on the Internet are supposed to do - to help you become a better person.

There's nothing wrong with that, of course. It's just that a lot of the time, the whole notion of being a better person involves trying to develop an ability out of thin air, or changing the "negative traits" that you were born with, like it's a wine stain on a white carpet that needs to be removed. And I think there's no greater fallacy than this.

I've always believed in the concept of yin and yang, that everything on earth is better with a counter-point to it, and the notion that we should all try to conform to the ideal of a "better person" just doesn't make sense to me. Would we all not be Barbie-esque drones then; like Sims in a utopian world? Every dreamer needs an anchor, to keep him from getting lost in the clouds. Every overachiever needs a slacker, to remind him to slow down sometimes. Every leader needs a follower, to support him along the path he has charted.

We spend so much time being apologetic over quirks and flaws that we were born with, and trying to live up to everybody's expectations that we end up being miserable ourselves. Not everybody is born to be a star, and I think that we should be okay with that. It's only then that we can recognise when we're in the presence of greatness, and appreciate it so.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to aspire to be something more, or to work on something that we don't like about ourselves. But for me at least, the self-flagellation has to stop because I've finally grown tired of feeling inadequate my whole life. The self-improvement battles will come another day, and just for this moment, I'll tell myself, "You're doing okay, kiddo." And I think we all need that sometimes.