relationships

You Don’t Have to Set Yourself on Fire to Keep the Other Person Warm ~ M One of the biggest reasons your abuser chose you as their ‘target partner’, is because they perceived you to be a kind, generous, and selfless person. But, unlike a “normal” person, they weren’t looking for these qualities because they also have them, and want a partner who will appreciate and share them. Oh no… A serial abuser is looking for these qualities in a target so that they can later exploit them, when they’re doing things they know they shouldn’t. They don’t want to have to make an effort to “fix things” with a take-no-crap, kind of person, as that would be too much trouble. No, they want someone more easy going and empathic, so that after they’ve neglected, lied to, or cheated on them, they won’t have to put in much effort to…

Narcissistic Personality Disorder SUCKS! It’s the kind of disease that not only effects the host, but can completely destroy almost anyone who tries to love them. It’s also a covert disease, as it can be very hard to identify, unless you get extremely close to the person who has it. And, by the time you’re in that deep, they’ve usually already identified you as “narc supply”, and unless you jump ship at the first yellow or red flag, you are in for a bumpy ride. And, don’t think just because you broke it off, because they weren’t treating you right, that they’re just going to let you go. Oh no! They’ll do things like claim they’ve been diagnosed with a “disease” (like cancer or diabetes), or that they want to put your kid on their sports team, to pull on your heart strings, and keep you in their life.…

No One Can Dull Your Sparkle, Unless You Let Them! Ever start your day feeling fresh, fabulous, and like your confidence alone could make it’s very own fashion statement? Then, you bump into that person, whether they be a lover, friend, co-worker, or boss, and all of a sudden that elation that you were feeling falls flat — and now you’re suddenly deflated? The reason this occurs is because you’re giving your power away to this other person. Chances are your relationship didn’t start out this way. In fact, most relationships usually start out with a fair amount of give-and-take. However, over a period of time of you wanting to gain their approval — you started placing them on a pedestal, and the relationship lost its balance. When you give your power away it erodes your self-esteem, and you begin feeling a sense of resentment whenever you’re around, or think about this person. This feeling affects…

Why is it so hard to be vulnerable in intimate relationships?

I can’t count the number of women I’ve worked with that struggle with this question. And while yes, most of those intimate relationships have to do with romantic partners/- it seems more recently, it’s beginning to effect their relationships with their children, parents, and friends.