KIM JONG-IL EAGERLY ANTICIPATING BIEBER FEVER

July 7 2010

Pyongyang, North Korea – For nearly sixty years North Korea has been a no-man’s land, a dark spot on the globe that no one enters and even fewer leave. Amidst all the international drama revolving around the country, and amidst all the human drama
that has occurred both inside and outside of the borders of the nation, there lies a people that have been left behind by the rest of the world. While nations certainly lag behind others in development, they have not been isolated from influence like the people of North Korea who would be shocked by the real world should they ever have a chance to enter it in their lifetimes.

There is hope and in our modern interconnected world some of that isolated alien nation has started to leak out and some of the real world has started to leak in. Kim Jong-il for example is a big fan of basketball and has made it the national sport of the country. There are other signs that the nation has started to open up to the wider world none more clear than the recent announcement of a tour by teen sensation Justin Bieber. As per the results of an online poll, Bieber will be embarking on a massive tour of the isolated nation and no one is more excited than the dear leader himself.

“We’re really looking forward to the upcoming tour. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. There have been all these kinds of stories of people disappearing in the country but I’ve always thought that was just a lot of talk. I’m really excited about touring the country,” said Bieber via Twitter. “I really didn’t have a preference on where I was going. I knew that by doing this kind of poll the people would tell me who wanted me and where most of my fans are and now that it appears they are in the NK, well that’s where I’ll be headed. Can’t wait.”

Kim of course did not speak publicly about the tour but insiders indicate that he has been jumping up and down with news of the victory.

“I read about this and there was some talk that there had been some vote rigging going on but it’s going to be very hard to prove that. Normally any vote coming from North Korea would have been suspect simply because of their limited internet access but from everything I’ve read about Kim he seems to be a genuine fan and with the ability to influence the hearts and minds of his people that he has it’s not a surprise they won in the end,” said Scrape TV North Korean analyst Lee Joo-Chan. “It’s an interesting proposition and could do a lot to help expand the national profile of the nation. They have certainly sought a better recognition in the world and being host to a major tour by Bieber could really change things. I mean every has Bieber Fever right now and if they put on a good show, well that could change everything.”

According to the North Korean embassy any application to tour will have to made through the U.N. and approved by Pyongyang, something likely to happen very quickly.

“There have been very few foreign people in the country since the split and even fewer from western nations. It’s unlikely that Bieber has any real diplomatic experience but his very presence could help bring about a change in the mindset of the people. Of course he may have some trouble getting out again should he witness anything,” continued Lee. “For his sake I hope they blindfold him and take him right from the airplane and to the venue. There would likely be a personal appearance with Kim but hopefully the travelling will be short and he will be isolated or else this could be the end of Bieber Fever for everyone.”

In an apparently unrelated story, Bieber had all his YouTube videos redirected to adult videos in apparent publicity effort.