Marriage must be re-established as the "gold standard" for relationships to halt an "epidemic" of family breakdown ­­which is overwhelming the family courts, a ­senior judge said yesterday.

Mr Justice Coleridge, a family division judge, said the consequences of family break-up for society were so great that it could no longer be a purely private matter, and called for a national commission to consider the problem and its solution.

The same judge last year said there was a "meltdown" in family life which was "as big a threat to the future of our society as terrorism, street crime or drugs".

In a speech in Westminster he blamed unrealistic expectations about relationships. "What I hope in all humility I am drawing attention to is the endless game of 'musical relationships' or 'pass the partner', in which such a significant portion of the population is engaged in the endless and futile quest for a perfect relationship which will be attained, it is supposed, by landing on the right chair or unwrapping a new and more exciting parcel," he said.

With many children growing up scarred by parents' break-ups, he said it could no longer be seen as just a matter for the individuals involved.

"The fundamental change in individual attitude and behaviour that is required is in our assumption that the way in which we conduct our private lives in relation to both the production and parenting of ­children or the break-up of a parental relationship is a private matter which only affects the individuals directly concerned," he said. "Although, superficially, these are private issues, they become matters of public concern when they are happening on such a huge scale. Marriage is by no means ­perfect or the only way, or the only structure for living with a partner, but statistically it has proved to be the most enduring and, statistically, the children of such relationships perform the best," he said.

The Department for Children, Families and Schools said only a minority of families ended up in the courts, and added: "We know that strong family relationships are fundamental to the wellbeing of … society. That is why the government is committed to doing more to support parents and children experiencing family breakdown and to provide preventative support to help families maintain strong, stable relationships."