Re: Announcements?

Do people usually do announcements with the theme/holiday near when they are due or when they are announcing?

For example, I am due in January but I will be announcing late july. Do I make my announcement winter themed or summer themed?

Never understood the "announcement" thing; it's not hard to announce I'm pregnant to people when you see them or through word of mouth from immediaiate family to extended family or within your friend group/s.

Please be cautious sending them out to anyone whom may ne struggling with infertility because getting one of these is a very low blow to them! I have secondary infertility and despite having one child - I still get very emotional when couples announce their 2nd/3rd/etc pregnancies. Its EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL AND GUT WRENCHING; I would cry for days and it takes time to deal with it!

As for a theme; if I ever actually did one, a "coming in January 2020" with baby theme would be appropriate; not sure why you would want it seasonal themed.

We are due in February and our gender reveal is the day of the big fireworks in our home town. Hubby knows the guys that put the big show on. So shortly before they start the show, they are letting off a barrage of blue or pink fireworks to let us know what the gender is. We don't know yet. We find out with around 250,000 other people this Saturday!

Yes, because l those people care about how your kid is going to pee (and possibly reproduce).

I agree with @inthewoods23. Many of us who struggle to have babies intentionally avoid gender reveals because they are too hurtful. The people who go to this event wouldn’t know that the gender reveal is going to happen. It’s highjacking a large public event to force people to see how happy you are and question if they will ever get to be that happy. I would recommend not doing it.

Are you serious @jolo1241? I mean, congrats on your pregnancy, but why would you hijack a fireworks show with thousands upon thousands of people you don’t know (and sorry, but people who don’t care)? Agreed with PP, I would be irrationally angry if I showed up to a 4th of July fireworks show that turned into a gender reveal. IF is hard enough to deal with when you can pick and choose the situations you put yourself in, without it being shoved in your face unexpectedly.

I highly suspect that there will be many women in that audience who will have recently gone through loss. They will be actively trying to forget for the night and enjoy themselves in any little possible way they can. You making a public spectical of your reveal will hurt. Badly. Several women here have pointed out how they would feel and I mirror that. Its disappointing that you will likely brush us all off and continue with your selfish plan. If you want a reveal, host a party. Don't subject countless women to be hurt.

Can there be any more of an AWish way to find out the sex of your child?? I mean, seriously, forcing 250,000 people to be part of your "moment" - can we say captive audience? As someone who has had multiple losses, I think this is really insensitive. As an ordinary person, I think this idea is supremely annoying and self-centered. Just so gross on so many levels.

Unless there was an actual announcement over a loud speaker that the first fireworks were for a reveal, I’m pretty certain I would be too dumb and oblivious to realize a barrage of pink or blue fireworks were for a reveal 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anyway, OP, with DS I did the holiday coming up (pumpkins for Halloween, for an April baby). But you can do whatever you want. People will say “congrats!” and move on with their lives either way.

Never thought of like that. They test fireworks for an hour or so before the show. It's not like it's going to be announced or anything. So I wouldn't call it a "very public announcement". And the only ones that know what it is for, will know. We only conceived after 7 years of failing, finally through IVF. Not one person on the Infertility thread gave us this hard of a time about this. They all loved it. They are also sending up our other friend's father's ashes. They do this type of stuff every year. And we've had our share of struggles with infertility.

jolo1241 It's not a hard time, it's a varying perspective. YOU are the one who said you'd find out WITH 250,000 other people, which makes it 'very public.' Just remember that you may have your 7 years of IF and struggles, heading towards your happy ending, but not everyone with IF and struggles get a happy ending. I know exactly how I wanted to privately announce, and all I got to announce for the last 4 years were 5 MCs. Just because you have moved on from your struggles to achieve your dream, doesn't mean we all get to.

Hopefully I would be confused by the fireworks display and why it seemed to start but then didn't. Because if I KNEW what the colors were for, I'd end up crying my eyes out with my entire night ruined all over someone's selfishness in a public forum for something I thought was tame and harmless and wouldn't be triggering...

Sure, maybe only friends and family will know what it means, but imagine you're sitting next to a couple who are currently struggling, or recently miscarried, that you don't even know who then have to hear a group of people around them shower you with "congrats it's a boy!" or "hurray you're having a girl!" and a bunch of clapping.

If 250,000 people are attending the fireworks, I'd assume many people will be there very early for good seats for viewing. So even if the plan is to do it as part of the setup and testing, well, people are going to notice and/or hear congratulatory words and make the connection.

And for the record, I do actually think this is a really cute idea for the time of year, but I feel like gender reveals are best kept in privacy.

And just as a side note, I'm pretty sure both blue and pink are very difficult fireworks colors to make so they'll stick out more than you think (that's why most fireworks are red, green, or gold).

Look, if there’s no announcement, it’s probably not as bad as I was imagining. I assumed there would be some sort of announcement given the “finding out with 250,000 people” comments. But, I would still recommend that you be careful of other’s feelings. If you’ve been through the IF journey, I assume that you’ve experienced the deep sadness that comes with seeing someone announce a pregnancy when you don’t know if you will ever get to hold your baby. Don’t do that to a bunch of strangers, who may have had a recent losses and may never get to the point you’re at. I know that it would be very hurtful to me at this moment if I was reminded that my uterus is still empty just because I wanted to see the fireworks. So, maybe don’t tell other people in the crowd what those fireworks are about and don’t scream, “It’s a _____!” You have a right to be excited, but also try to respect the strangers around you.

As a side note, I hope they checked the rules on scattering ashes, especially if it’s over water. I don’t know where these fireworks are, but I know there are definitely laws in place regarding spreading ashes without permission.

Seems a little weird that they would do either of these things as a favor at a City fireworks show that is likely paid for with tax dollars, but I guess I don’t care as long as they aren’t my tax dollars.

Honestly, what bothers me is that a poster who commented on here specifically asked other members on their board to come here and “strongly encourage” against this announcement.

@jolo1241 Most people were directed here, so while I think it’s good to hear others perspectives, know that it was intentional that so many people commented here at once. I find that pretty unnecessary.

@nanner26 people only had to be directed here because this is a slow board and no one would have seen it otherwise. not because we needed to be told what to post.

@jolo1241 I don’t think the fact that they are donations makes it much better. It still feels like a wrong use of other people’s money, unless you donated enough this year to cover the fireworks.

I get that you’re excited and this is a unique way to find out the sex. So if you are going to do it I would just be respectful and quietly celebrate. People are going to hear and word will spread and you could be taking people off guard during an event that seems totally safe for them.

@nanner26 I apologize for my visceral reaction, but I am not alone in the idea that this could be hurtful or upsetting to multiple groups of people. There are more than those TTC and dealing with IF and MCs who would hate to see a gender reveal done publicly.

And frankly, @jolo1241 handled the comments with a lot of grace and openness to our POVs and I commend her for that. I can't imagine going through 7 years of IF and obviously she has every right to be happy and to do things however she'd like, but the public part of it can have drawbacks that you wouldn't consider unless someone mentioned it. I'm 2 years into my own IF journey and it has been incredibly hard to make it through some days with every PG announcement or gender reveal from friends, family, and coworkers popping up in text messages and social media feeds.

I'm clearly having one of my hating on everyone else's happiness and feeling bitter days and I apologize for that. Comes with the waiting game of IF.

@inthewoods23 IF is terrible. And we understand that, very personally. We have seen so many announcements over these 7 years. And it does hurt to see them. But it also gave us hope. Hope that we too will one day have our own announcement. Even if it was just a maybe. Plus, we're still happy for those people in our lives that get to celebrate their own growing families. We did not take into consideration how this may affect people and we are very sorry for that. After reading these comments today, I've been crying all day. I'm sure some of that is this emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. And probably from these shots I'm still doing everyday. A constant reminder that we couldn't do this on our own. Now we are rethinking this whole reveal. Ugh...it's hard celebrate now thinking about that. We would never want this hurt anyone. We are so sorry that we've caused this in these forums. These fireworks are our family's oldest and most treasured tradition, always spending it together no matter where we are in our lives. It was just our way of bringing another memory into that.

@jolo1241 sorry to have reacted poorly above without knowing the whole story. IF makes me bitter and I admire you for getting hope from other people’s announcements when I can’t seem to do that unless I know they struggled as well.

@b_1029 It's ok. I totally understand. It is hard knowing that people do this by accident, pregnancy I mean. Struggling for so long and seeing people fall into it is very frustrating and hurtful. And even worse, someone actually told us they "weren't ready for it, why now?". It makes you want to scream so loud the whole world can hear you. I am very sorry about your struggles and it was never my intention to be so hurtful. I am truly sorry. The only thing that has gotten me through this is something DH always says to me, "No matter what happens, we'll get through this together. Always, no matter what."

@jolo1241 - you do you, girl. you’ve earned the right to be happy, and I swear I can’t imagine anyone who didn’t know what was going on would have even a hint of a clue what the few fireworks were all about. Celebrate your miracle baby!

I agree that @jolo1241 has handled these comments very well. It was not my intent to be hurtful. I only intended to point out that it might be hurtful because I know some people don’t realize. I apologize if the comments were hurtful or too bitter. You should be proud of yourself for finding hope instead of misery in other’s announcements. I wish I could do that. I have been included in some public gender reveals that were hurtful and that I couldn’t avoid, including a coworker who insisted on doing gender reveal cupcakes in the office for a second child when I was at my lowest place in my journey. I might be overly sensitive because of those experiences. Just don’t have an announcement and handle those around you with care.

@jolo1241 I'm sorry if anything I said was hurtful and I'm so sorry you've been crying! IF is so hard and it's so easy to be bitter in the bad times and also easy get lost in our happiness when something good finally happens in our journey.

Hearing that this is a family tradition makes the idea actually really sweet I think it's okay to add on to that tradition. I hope you still consider doing this even though we all got carried away with these hypothetical situations of upsetting people. Shame on us! As PP said, you do you girl! I'm happy for you to finally have happiness after 7 years 🙂

@jolo1241 I'm so happy for you and I hope you have a wonderful gender reveal! You so deserve this. You deserve to fully enjoy every part of this pregnancy as you have seen so many others before you. It's your time to shine 💕

I appreciate all the kind words 💜I should've told the whole story to begin with. Just not being in the IF forums, I didn't want to get too specific about everything. Sometimes I'm unnecessarily ashamed of how we got here, like it's my fault. IF will make you think and feel some terrible things. I do truly apologize for all of this and never meant for this thread to become this. I pray for all of those struggling with IF.

@jolo1241 You should not be ashamed of how you got there. It’s not your fault. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. But, I get you. I felt it too and I wasn’t really able to talk about fertility issues for a long time. I still have trouble sometimes. IF is not fair.

I’m upset by the amount of people bashing your awesome reveal because it might be upsetting to others. Just because someone else may get upset by it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be happy. You can’t walk on eggshells. This is your life, celebrate it as you wish! Only you and family and friends will know what the colors mean. Enjoy and I wish you all of the best in your pregnancy!

@jolo1241 what if you had your friend start the test run with either one or two blue or red fireworks rather than a whole bunch of blue or pink especially since pink isn’t a normal firework color. No one would really catch on since it would just flow into the rest of the test. And if there isn’t a barrage of one color it would be way less conspicuous to all the other people there.

I had a plan for the first time around. I was going to announce at Easter. I had a shirt that said "Egg-Specting" with an egg on my belly. And i was gonna take a picture using an easter basket and eggs with our names. And one specifically for the baby with their due date (Oct 2019). This didnt happen because at 12 weeks we found out that we no longer had a heartbeat (3 weeks prior to Easter). This time around, i dont know when well announce but we are due in Feb 2020.