Your personal experience of marriage

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My daughter once enquired as to the secret of our long and happy marriage. ‘It dates back to our honeymoon,’ I explained. We went horse riding in the Scottish Highlands. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse bucked. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ A little further the horse bucked again and once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ We hadn’t gone half a mile when the horse did it a third time. Without saying a word my wife dismounted and kicked the horse full in the balls. I started to protest over her treatment of the horse, when she looked at me she quietly said, ‘That’s once.’

The first morning after my honeymoon, my wife got up early, went down to the kitchen, and brought me my breakfast in bed. Naturally, I was thrilled. ‘Have you noticed how runny the egg is and how crispy I have made the bacon?’ she asked. ‘Yes dear, it’s very nice,’ I replied. ‘That’s good,’ she said, ‘because that’s how I want my breakfast served every morning from now on.’