Friday, June 19, 2009

Ode to a Free man

I wanted to wrote a poem about Gordon Freeman awhile ago. For the lulz of course (which is what I always say when I'm afraid someone will take stuff seriously and tell me it sucks). So I did, but it ended up as a rap instead. It's at least packed with Half Life (1) references, that's for sure. It's kinda fragmented, like a bunch of rhymes thrown together. When I feel like it, I think I'll expand it and make it more coherent.

Ode to a Free man

The first time I saw him, hell, didn’t see him at allYou’d expect there to be mirrors in that dark grey Mesa mallBut yo, whatever right, he’s on the CD-caseSo I proceeded down on the railway, in a slow and wary pace

Barney be exclaiming “I’ll buy you a beer”But his polygon mouth was flat out insincereGot the .357 and the big ol’ 12-GaugeThat alone should be enough to clear this giant stage‘Cept there really ain’t no levels in this messed up complexJust a bunch of “loading” to go easy on ya com-specs

I’m lookin’ through the free man’s eyesFirst name Gordon – second; just told you guysI smash boxes with my “1”, they’re full of suppliesDon’t waste ammo, ya know the crowbar will sufficeHeadcrab problems, solved with pistol, be precise

Found some laser trip mines and 15-stack o’ snarkFuck’s up with them? They SUCK I should remarkUranium’s what I needed (best be depleted!) - 40’d make it fullHolds hundred, takes tenths, now that’s a bunch of bull

Off to Xen, space-time continuum bewareGot there through “resonance cascade”, whatever, like I careNihilanth, ruler of the b-world, crowbar’d in the faceThrowing everything I’ve got, fo shizzle, let’s bail this placeSuddenly confronted by the man with label G“A nasty piece of work”, an understatement for my spree