Tag: autoimmune

As of right now, even sticking with strict gluten free, I’m right back to feeling sick all the time. I’m not sure if it’s dairy or if there is something else I’m now sensitive to but the Whole30 is the best way to find out from what I can see.

I have failed multiple times, but I’m sure I should be able to commit to 1 simple month of whole foods. I have checked out so many recipes, it will just involve making my own birthday cake since my birthday is in January.

I just signed up for a holiday HIIT 3 days a week program. HIIT workouts have always been my favorites and with some really busy weeks, the 15-17 minute workouts should be feasible. My two year old has enjoyed joining me doing the Stronger workouts (livestrong website) and she’ll love joining these as well. I’m not trying to set any kind of New Years Resolutions, those are never kept, I just prefer starting things on the first of the month- it’s easier to track progress.

Since I have so many DIY ideas, crafts and converted recipes I decided to create a smaller site and Twitter account to share those on. I’m no longer posting recipes and such here and I’ll be doing updates towards Nano and during November on that blog.

No matter how much sleep I get, I can’t seem to feel rested. I feel drained all the time, my brain is so foggy I have officially quit joking about being an air head.

My mood swings from depressed to anxious- every time I start to think I have some mental illness, my labs come back.

The depression is deeper than I ever felt- as an outcast teenager, when I lost my grandma, lost my dog or lost my child- I had situational depression all those times- never this deep. This depression is unrelenting and feels like I’ll never be able to get up. It makes me feel like no one cares, that I have no one- my kids would be better off and so would my husband and my parents- it makes me feel like I just need to isolate myself. Every time I start to ask my doctor for help- I get my lab results.

I feel nauseated, my stomach bloats out, I have to run back and forth to the bathroom- or I get the opposite.

My palms start burning to the point I can feel the heat radiate, or the opposite and even at 90 degrees, I’m shivering.No amount of blankets can help me warm up and no stripping of layers helps me cool. Heat is worse- it makes me overheat to the point I’ll start to feel like i have heat exhaustion. I have got heat sick just from hot flashes.

I don’t know what’s worse- the crying spells from the depression, the panic attacks from the anxiety that come on with 0 warning, the fatigue that NOTHING helps, the digestive symptoms, mood swings or the fact that people look at me like I’m faking it all. The fact that it’s an invisible illness that makes me feel all this.

It’s never going to go away but you can’t see it. You don’t see my mood swings- until the symptoms get severe- I’ve been learning to hide them.

You don’t see the cold or hot flashes- unless I start sweating

You don’t see the depression, anxiety or the nausea but it’s there. It’s real and I’m ready to give it up. I don’t want Hashimotos anymore. I don’t want to keep having to feel this way in between dosage adjustments. They started me at 25, I’m now up to 88 and my appointment is next week- I’m in full swing and can tell my levels are off. I was going to go to the ER, but there is no use- ERs can’t handle chronic- they treat temporary problems. I really wish I could figure out how to deal while I’m in between doses because this isn’t living.

I found out the cysts on my right side (only side I have left) haven’t grown, so I don’t need to have another scan for about 2 years but I had my lab work done and they had to up my dose.

It seems every 3 months, I go hypo but this time I didn’t get such extreme symptoms.

I have been really tired and a little grumpy but I figured it was stress and the hours I’ve been working. Starting my days around 6am and ending around 11pm tends to wear anyone down over time and it’s my normal.

I also have been slowly gaining weight, after losing 20lbs, I’m up 9 and I’m not eating any different (I’ve been gluten free since July of last year, stopped November and December and restarted in January and have been strict since)

I have been waiting for the “right” time to go fully dairy free as well, that will help bloating but I can’t explain the weight gain and weight loss- both happen with me not doing anything different.

I guess when I’m in a bad mood, tired or even gain 1lb I can count that as my thyroid. I have started to notice that I only really have anxiety attacks when my thyroid is off so I guess that’s a good indicator and it helps me knowing that my anxiety seems to solely be linked to my thyroid. Maybe if they could get that under control, it will help that issue.

I usually have more extreme symptoms, but I guess since they caught me when I was slightly elevated as opposed to a major elevation, the symptoms didn’t have time to come on as bad.

Either way, you’d think after 2 years, they would have me straight by now… This is getting frustrating. I have gone from 25 to 50, 75 and now I’m at 88. I guess my next step will be 100.