Archive for the ‘Cashiers’ Category

Cashier #1: … And then she told me she got high on ecstasy by accident last night. Cashier #2: By accident? Cashier #1: Yeah. She was at his house and saw a little white thing on the coffee table, and that bitch thought it was a mint.
–Todaro Bros. Grocery, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: A

Security guard #1 rushing in: Where is the panic button? Sales girl: I don’t even know what that is. Security guard #1: It’s not under the counter? You don’t have a panic button? How can you not have a panic button? Security guard #2: I think this is it. Here, on the wall behind you. Security guard #1: Okay, okay. Okay, let’s press it and see if it works.
–Pierpont Morgan Museum Gift Shop
Overheard by: not-panicking

Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like? Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please. Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear? Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.
–Express, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: I would have to agree

Hipster cashier: Yeah, and when I’m not working here, I just sit on MySpace and take pictures of my cat and shit. Female customer: Sounds like the life…
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: catherine

Coffee vendor: That iced coffee will be eight dollars, and the straw will cost you fifty cents extra, ha ha. Cashier: Man, Joe, that coffee's expensive! Coffee vendor: Why'd you gotta say my name, man? What if my baby mama came up in here looking for child support and youse be sayin' my name?!
–Westside Market

Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate