(Closed) FMIL and FSIL want their dresses to be a surprise to FI :/

I have had some ups and downs with Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law — it’s been difficult for them to let go of Fiance — but at the same time, they have made efforts to reach out to me and are generally great ladies. Weddings are sensitive times — I know that, so maybe I’m being sensitive here, but . . .

Fiance told me that Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law have been telling him that their dresses for the wedding are a surprse and he can’t see them, trying to get him excited for their dresses, etc. Future Sister-In-Law is a bridesmaid and will be walking down the aisle. Future Mother-In-Law is obviously MOG. I just don’t like the fact that they’re trying to get him excited to see them coming down the aisle. I know of course he will be most excited to see me, but it’s kinda irritating. Fiance and I don’t live together and are long distance right now, so the context of our relationship is probably different from some of those who live closer together — and Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law have a bit more personal interaction or infuence on Fiance because of this. I just don’t get why they are trying to make their dresses such a big deal to Fiance.

On the upside, Fiance will probably be taking family portraits with them prior to the wedding ceremony, and thus will see their dresses before the ceremony, but won’t see mine until I walk down the aisle. I don’t think anything will take away our moment, but it’s a little irritating when people seem to be interfering.

I told Fiance that Future Sister-In-Law hiding her dress makes it more difficult for him to get the idea of what color ties to buy for his groomsmen and is a bit silly since she’s a bridesmaid (the fact that she’s making it a surprise to him came up when I was telling him to look at her dress to get an idea of what color to match).

Anyway . . . I guess things could be worse. Like I said they’re great ladies, but this is a little silly.

I agree that it’s a little silly, but don’t let it get to you! My mom keeps talking about how it’s a fact that she’s the second most important female at the wedding…like really? who thinks like that? Anyway, don’t let it get to you….Fiance will have eyes for NO ONE except you.

@kate02121: Thanks 🙂 Yeah, I think weddings can make lots of people feel like “it’s about them” and it can be irritating . . . I guess everyone is also under more stress than normal, so i try to give the benefit of the doubt.

@simpleandchic: Future Sister-In-Law is very single at the moment — and she would love to be in a relationship, actually. Future Mother-In-Law is married to her husband of 30+ years.

I would definitely feel annoyed. It’s like they are trying to make it more about them, and it’s not even their wedding! the only person who should make a surprise entrance there is you. I would probably have asked my husband to talk to them and tell them that he doesn’t want you to feel less important on your special day.

It seems to me like your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law are attempting (albeit, rather poorly) to ‘take the spotlight’ away from you. Let’s face it though – what kind of guy cares even cares what his mom and sister are wearing, even on his wedding day. Their outfits might be a ‘surprise’ to him simply in the sense that he’s never seen them before – but it probably won’t go anywhere beyond that. The whole thing just seems really stupid to me,

Also, you are perfectly allowed to show youf Fiance the bridesmaids dress that YOU chose for YOUR wedding. It’s not even like your Future Sister-In-Law is going to be the only one wearing it. There’s not a whole lot that you can do about the mom though I guess.

That is so stupid! Just let it go…they’re just trying to find a way to make it about them. Your Fiance will not care in the slightest what they are wearing…he’ll only have eyes for you and that’s all you need to worry about!!!

Thanks for all the replies to this, ladies. It really irked me when I first heard of it, but i am just going to let it go and not make a big deal of it. As the bride, it feels like they’re trying to make him excited about them and lessen my moment, but i’m going to try to put things in perspective and give them the benefit of the doubt, now that I’ve had some time to think about it. Maybe they are just trying to make things fun.

As PP have said, Fiance is not going to be all hung up on their dresses on the day . . . he’ll be thinking about me and our marriage, and I know he’s looking forward to seeing my dress. 🙂