Even inspirational authors need soup for the soul and right now it's the real stuff that's delivering strength to Anthea Paul. When we meet, the Girlosophy creator hasn't eaten for hours and recent weeks have tested every coping strategy she's written. When her bowl of spicy pumpkin soup arrives, she looks as if she might hug it.

"It's been a nightmare time," she explains. "My dad's been in intensive care, my grandmother died and my grandfather also went into hospital." All this is happening just two days into Paul's trip home to Sydney - one of the few that punctuate a life on the road with her camera, following the surfing circuit and sourcing images for her Girlosophy books, calendars and cards. She's feeling fragile and isn't afraid to admit it. "I was quite anxious before I came to this interview. It's taken a while to relax."

There's something strangely reassuring about an advice writer handling tough times with less-than-perfect composure. But 39-year-old Paul's philosophy isn't about perfection. Her books - A Soul Survival Kit, The Love Survival Kit, The Oracle and last year's The Breakup Survival Kit - offer a rare voice, mixing practical guidance for young women and photos of regular girls with no make-up or digital enhancement.

"Life is a series of pretty messy situations. It's not airbrushed perfection," says Paul, who has the same outdoorsy glow as the women who illustrate her books. "And I struggle with the messier bits every day. I don't pretend to have all the answers. If people can find some short cuts in my books or tools that help them through something, it's worth it. But my main message is that often you have to figure it out for yourself.

"I test my own theories constantly," she adds. "And sometimes I get a negative result. Mostly it's when I've known in my heart what I wanted to do and ignored it - and to own up to that has been incredibly challenging." By way of example, she confesses how a lapse of intuition nearly cost Girlosophy its future.

"When I was first seeking funding, it was the peak of the internet boom and I was with people who were talking a lot of money. I was all caught up in it but, deep down, I sensed it was wrong - too much, too fast. Right at the eleventh hour, when I was practically having a nervous breakdown, I told them it wasn't going to work. I nearly forgot things happen at their own pace and you must listen to your intuition. If I hadn't, the whole thing would have blown up and I'd have had nothing."

Paul's refusal to hide her own flaws is part of a greater crusade. Today's young women, she believes, are bombarded with artificially perfect images that gnaw at their self-esteem. She should know; for years she worked as a photo editor, art director and stylist on magazines and backstage at fashion shows.

She collaborated with some big fashion names, including Australia's Wayne Cooper and Charlie Brown and Stussy, before she headed to New York in the 1990s.

"I was part of the myth-making process, presenting images that were definitely not reality. I saw how much work was done on negatives after a shoot and what trickery made the models look the way they did on the catwalk. I knew it took a team of 20 to make Kate Moss look like that because I was on that team.

"By 1997, I was working on a men's magazine in New York, spending my days looking at A-list actresses' tits and working out how we would airbrush them. Backstage, at the shows, I could see the ravages of anorexia on a lot of the models. I just didn't want to be part of the problem any more."

Instead, she began work on the first Girlosophy book. The images are active and vibrant and the tone is warm and funny - more big sister than agony aunt. After A Soul Survival Kit was published in 2000, it became a word-of-mouth success. Three more books and two calendars later, and with another book and a documentary in the works, the series has sold more than 135,000 copies in Australia and been embraced by women worldwide. Britney Spears, Oprah Winfrey, Tina Turner and The Body Shop's Anita Roddick are fans. Parents buy the books for their daughters and readers email Paul daily to tell her about their lives.

"That's where The Breakup Survival Guide came from," she says. "Everyone who wrote to me about a problem was talking about relationships and so many were in need of comfort. I realised there wasn't much help around for younger women. No one was telling them about how to handle the aftermath; if you have to see the person every day, how to hold down your job or your studies, how to avoid the destructive patterns that set in. You need ways to handle depression, especially if you haven't experienced it before. You need some sort of strategy. The demand for this book was so urgent, I put another one on hold to produce it sooner."

Paul believes in karma and the Girlosophy series, her ongoing work with the War Child charity - she's producing a 2005 calendar for them - and her sponsorship of a group of young Western Australian female surfers must have attracted plenty of the right sort. At times like this it helps to receive some in return and she hasn't been disappointed.

"The other day I had to ring up the RTA [Roads and Traffic Authority, NSW] about an overdue parking fine. It was a terrible time, I was shaking as I rang and didn't expect any sympathy. But the lady on the other end was lovely. Suddenly I was nearly in tears. I told her it was the only nice thing that had happened to me that week, and why, and she said, 'I understand. My dad died two days ago, my daughter just broke up with her boyfriend and my husband has lost his job.'

"When I told her I'd send a copy of The Breakup Survival Kit for her daughter, she asked who I was and it turned out she keeps all my other books beside her bed. How spooky that we ended up talking to each other just at that time. If that's not universal karma, I don't know what is." Later, a while after our interview, Paul also told me that her father was doing well.

Perhaps it's also karmic irony that Paul, who had been single "for a long time" because of her ceaseless travelling, found love the same year she published a book about breaking up. "I had chosen to be alone because of my lifestyle and this man was the first one in a while. He just turned up in my life and he's the perfect fit for me." Has he made her consider settling down? She laughs. "My lifestyle is so far away from conventional. I don't know if I ever will. I think I channel all my nurturing, maternal urges into Girlosophy."

As she slips into her car beside two surfboards and heads off with a cheery wave, I suspect that as long as her Girlosophers need a big sister, Anthea Paul will keep on moving.