They came, they saw and they conked out - or rather the joysticks did.
Dave Nicholls, Roger Willis
and Ross Holman hung on just long enough to give the verdict on
all the new games.

CHUCKIE EGG 2
A'n'F Software £7.95Ross: Hen House Harry's back but he's no
longer running round collecting seed while
avoiding maniac hens. Harry's chucked up
his rural roots to help out in a chocolate
egg factory. The ladders and platforms
have partly been replaced by ropes and
travelators and there's not a caged bird in
sight. Harry's task now is to collect all the
goodies that go into making a choccy egg
as well as the pieces of the toy to go inside
it.
Harry can also pick up and drop many
items that may help him on his way. For
example, the first problem you come up
against is an outsized pooch that's far from
friendly. To get past him you have to
collect a bone and then drop it at his feet.
The dog then turns away, his tail wagging
with pleasure and lets you pass. In the next
117 screens be prepared to meet all sorts
of nasties and to face many more
problems.
Harry runs around and bounces off
walls in the same hectic way as he did in
the original Chuckie Egg, but somehow
the game lacks a certain appeal. To be fair
to A'n'F they haven't tried to produce a
clone of CE1. But by going for a game
with 120 screens, each screen lacks a lot in
the way of content.
You'll find your path is generally easy
and very often there are no nasties to stand
in your way. Still, it's enjoyable enough,
though it may not appeal to the more
sophisticated games player. 3/5

Dave: Reasonable graphics, smooth
movement, more platforms than Waterloo
Station and about as addictive
as British Rail coffee! 2/5

Roger: As platform stuff goes, this is bad
enough to make a chap chuckie up. Never
mind the 'henhouse', I'd put
Harry in the doghouse ... 1½/5

Here's your first challenge - to get past the pooch in the next screen you'll need the bone from this one. It's the only way you'll get a prolonged active life.

There are extra bonus points to be had if you collect objects like this apple but they serve no other useful purpose.

You've fed Fido and you've passed the A'n'F chocolate factory, so now it's on to this screen. To get through you've got to jump from chain to chain avoiding the 'armful arachnids as you go.

Watch out for your first taste of the moving meanies. You'll soon suss out that the only way to get round them is to take a running jump and hope you don't come a cropper.

The spiders go up and down the chains just to make life difficult for you. And they don't even travel at the same speeds - the one on the right is faster than his mate on the left. If you fail to get past them, you'll just have to try and try again.

You can't jump over the three objects at the bottom of the screen. Well, who'd go across the top if you could?

GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROAD STREET
Argus Press Software £7.99Ross: From the same stable as Alien, here's
another film follow-up that's billed as a
sophisticated adventure and strategy
game. The plot pursues Paul McCartney's
attempt to save his band and their music
from the evil financier

Rath (any relation to Rath Bone? Ed).
You take Paul's part in his last ditch bid
to track down the seven people involved in
producing his latest album. They're the
only ones who can help reconstruct the
final missing track before midnight.
Problem is that the magnificent seven are
spread all over London. But to help you in
your search, your in-car computer tracks
their movements on the London tube
system so you can predict where they're
off to. If you're outside the tube station as
they emerge then they'll hand over a
snatch of the tune. Once all seven pieces
are in the bag you can trundle off to Abbey
Road for the remix.
The game comes with a large scale map
of London and a tube map. On the reverse
you'll find full details on the people you're
after. This'll help you plot their
movements as the game progresses. The
screen is split into 4 areas - a large section
across the top of the screen

shows your car
(is it a Beetle? Ed) and a small area of
London's streetplan. The other three
sections give the gen on the missing
people's movements and more detailed
info on the locality.
It's an original idea for a game but it's
pretty dull in the playing. It might offer a
painless way for prospective cabbies to
learn abut London - but if this is how pop
stars spend their time I think
I'll hang up my guitar. 2/5

Roger: Another game-of-the-film of-the-
book of-the-song that is best described as
a spin-off that should, er spin
off ... 2/5

Dave: The map is quite big (and wrong in
places!), and I found it rather more
interesting than the game. If you like
driving around in central London (do cab
drivers read YS?), then you might enjoy it,
otherwise give it a Broad
(St.) berth. 2/5

J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K

JURY

THE BIZ
Virgin Games £6.95Roger: Well, like, er, man, this is one tremendously bankable game
even if it lacks stage presence in visual terms. Virgin has turned
back to what it, like any record industry outfit

made big, does best -
explaining how the completely talentless can become international
megastars.The Biz is a perfect teaching aid for bongo thumpers on the
make. It leads aspirants through the rock rat race, underlining how
it's much more important to know the wheeling and dealing techniques
than learning a few wretched riffs to strum. Just like in real life,
you can forget the E sharp and F flats because the only important
notes have pictures of the Queen on 'em.
The cassette, besides carrying the necessary
Spectrum-dedicated program, also has eight audio recordings including
that well known smash hit "I'm in love with the girl on the Virgin
Manchester Megastore checkout desk" ... No, well I've never heard of
it either, but there again I've never heard of you ... If you get
really good at the game, though, and become the first

person to score
a No.1 hit, I might just start throwing knickers at you from the
audience, along with millions of other screaming fans, because you'll
actually be invited to record with Chris Sievey and The Freshies and
appear live on stage. A Doo Wop, a loo bop a wham bam boom? 3/5

Dave: I'm about as musical as a prune so I thought I'd be quite good
at this. Four singles and a year later I'd managed to get to number
120! Mind you, I did make a lot of money from live performances -
perhaps the punters thought I was a comedy act! Horribly addictive and
great fun - see you on The Tube. 4/5

Ross: If music be the way to earn a fortune, you can count me in. This
really is the biz. 4/5

ARCHON
Ariolasoft £8.95Ross: This is a strategy game that pits the
forces of good against those of evil.
You're greeted by the opposing forces
lined up on either side of a board that
chess players will no doubt recognise. At
the start you're given the option of

controlling the good guys or the bad
guys, and whether to battle it out with the
computer. You've got 18 pieces at your
disposal and they can all move different
distances though there are no restrictions
on the direction.
But that's where the similarity with
chess ends. In Archon, each character
earns the right to take over an occupied

square by beating the opposition in a
bout of single-handed combat. There are
many different forms of defence - some
characters throw fireballs, some wield
swords, while others generate a deadly
force field. This mystic fisticuffs takes
place on a separate screen with the
characters' respective strengths shown by
a bar at each side. Each time you're hit
this strength reduces until one of the
pieces is completely clobbered. Each side
also has one magical being that can cast
spells on the opposition. The ones to
watch out for are the revive and heal
spells that'll bring a defeated piece back
to life or restore its strength.
To move the pieces, you must position
a square on the chosen character's
symbol and then press the key to pick it
up. From there you can move it and drop
it in the desired location. Although the
board is chequered black and white,
there are also some grey squares - the
colour of the square a piece occupies will
affect its fighting fortunes. The forces of
darkness for example, do best on black
squares. An added complication are the
five power points positioned like a cross
on the board. These squares have the
power to restore strength and to protect
from magic - occupy all five and you're
automatically the winner.
At first, Archon appears quite simple,
but there's an underlying complexity to it
that offers a formidable challenge. The
combat screen is marred by jerky
graphics and be warned, the computer's
an annoyingly good shot. But
then I always was a bad
loser. 3/5

Roger: More of a boring game
than board game, but both? 2/5

Dave: A strategy game and an arcade
game in one package can't be bad (who says? Ed). The computer plays a decent
game, and I haven't yet come close to
beating it. Still, it's got me
hooked, so I'll crack on. 2½/5

Use the revive spell to bring back to life any of your lost characters - but make sure it's one of the strongest. There's no point in reviving a knight when you've got a wizard waiting in the wings.

Don't bottle out with your strongest characters - be brash with them to take out the lesser enemies with some swift moves from the back.

Use this box to indicate the character you want to move - and where you want to move him. Then tap the fire button and pow!

Try this for openers - before the opposition has time to rally, take out their main man. If you get the strongest character early on, it'll give you the edge.

A tip if you're playing the computer - move in close and then nip in and out of your opponent's firing line. That way you'll fool him into firing and you'll have as much time as it takes his missile to reach the other side of the screen to pump him full of lead. Go on, make my day punk!

On the combat screen get your chosen battle warrior body-poppin' - the more jerky his movements are, the less chance you have of being hit.

These objects just get in the way but if you use them to good effect you can use them as defence shields.

J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K

JURY

KOMPLEX
Legend £9.95Roger: Komplex is just what it says -
complex. Apparently, you can create
seventy thousand million different maps if
so inclined but player-

generated maps, just
like the standard K.O.M.P.L.E.X. one, all
have seven deck levels of a diamond
shape. Changing the map is just like
changing one's underpants - you don't
notice after you've put your trousers back
on. That, pretty much, (not that there's anything pretty about Willis's underwear.
Ed) sums up the game. Despite excellent
scrolling 3-D action, a high yawn factor is
guaranteed by crushingly similar - and
uninteresting geography.
But that's not all, because location
komplexity (groan) can be safely ignored.
The less-cerebral amongst us just zap
about blasting the monitors and wardens
with lasers and collecting and dropping
Target Modules in the appropriate place.
Fallen safely to sleep yet? Yes, Komplex
isn't really complex (double

groan) at all
because it's just another old dose of
shootiebangs in space clothes.
Komplaining without kompassion about
the kontent without kongratulating (kut it out! Ed),
the programmer on graphical
action excellence may seem unfair, but
computer games are supposed to be fun,
not works of art, and this ain't. Just like the
last offering, The Great Space Race,
it's better than Valium. 2/5

Dave: Will Legend ever release a good
game? This one's just as boring as TGSR
though the graphics are a bit better.
Basically a komplete waste of
time and money. 0/5

Ross: Is it me? I couldn't make head or tail
of this and when I did I realised it was a
waste of time. Nope, it was
them! 1/5

FLAK
Funsoft £7.95Dave: Right from the start the signs aren't
at all promising. There on the inlay card is
a screen

shot from the Commie 64 version.
When you've loaded up you can see why
they decided against printing a Speccy
shot. There you are, a badly drawn sprite
with an attribute problem flickering across
a charmless landscape made up of
character squares. Now that's not really a
big enough inducement to put on the cover
to persuade me to part with the readies.
The game's really just a rip-off of the
arcade classic Xevious that offers a trip out
in an 'advanced AGX hypersonic fighter'
- that's the flickering sprite. Occasionally
another sprite flickers up to you and that
usually triggers off a dull looking cyan
explosion. The screen scrolls more slowly
than a C5 at top speed and your
hypersonic wotsit flies at such a snail's
pace that it's impossible to dodge the
barrage

of missiles blasted at you.
Consequently, each game lasts about 10
seconds and can only be stretched out
should you really want to, by using the one
obvious bug - keep your finger on the fire
button at take-off and you're invincible for
a few seconds.
All in all, one that should've
been drowned at birth. 0/5

Roger: The player may hope to 'take over
the universe' but this game
won't. 1½/5

Ross: How could they do this to one of my
fave arcade games? The 'awe-inspiring'
scenery only inspired me to
turn the Speccy off. 1/5

JONAH BARRINGTON'S SQUASH
New Generation £7.95Roger: I'd always thought that squash was
a silly game played by overweight and
middle-aged executive types to burn off
the worst effects of their business
lunches. The obvious reason for playing

it inside a big indoor 'box' is to stop the
rest of us from seeing them at it and
cracking up in helpless mirth ... That's
still probably a fairly accurate description
of the real thing but the Speccy version is
something else.
It features all the basic elements of the
sport with two players on court, one of
whom can be computer controlled. The

only thankful absence is the wobbling
bellies and puffing and panting.
The graphics and ball movement are
realistic but the computer chooses stroke
for you if the player has been positioned
with some reasonable degree of
accuracy. There are four options of
difficulty and I can say, from experience,
that it's easily possible to beat the
Spectrum at the easier levels. Squash is
a well-crafted chunk of sporting software
which, usually, isn't boring to non-
enthusiasts of the aforesaid physical
pursuit.
It won't cut down on the jolly old
midriff bulge, but then nobody
will laugh at you either. 4/5

Dave: It felt a bit strange playing squash
and not ending up drenched in sweat and
gasping for air. Still, the graphics are
good and the game's addictive. I also
found out that Jonah Barrington is mike
shy - the voice synthesis sounds like he
spent hours down the pub
getting his courage up ... 3/5

Ross: Master the techniques necessary for
hitting the ball against the wall and you'll
find this an enjoyable game. The lack of
diagonal movement though is a pain, but
not as much of a pain as playing the real
thing. It's a pity that Jonah Barrington
sounds like he's got a squash
ball in his throat. 3½/5

To put some spin on your serve, try pushing the joystick forward as you press fire. It's not in the instructions but it seems to work for us!

As soon as you've returned a serve, leg it to the front of the court. That way you're in charge of the action.

While your opponent's serving, you'd be well advised to take up a position at the back of the court. Nine out of ten times this is where the ball ends up.

You can choose one of six different angles to hit the ball by holding down the fire button for different lengths of time. Phew this is nearly as tiring as the real thing!

The computer automatically moves your racquet from one side to the other to strike the ball. Make sure you press the fire button only when you're on the side you want to play from.

J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K

JURY

CHAOS
Games Workshop £7.95Dave: This one's subtitled 'Magic and
Death on the Plane of Limbo' which
makes it sound like an

occult version of
Airplane II. In fact, it's another magical
mystery tour-type strategy game that's
enlivened by some creative touches of
animation.
At the off, you can choose up to eight
different wizards any or all of whom can
come under the control of the computer. If
you're feeling really limbo-like, it's a
wheeze to set them all off and sit back to
watch them slug it out. There's also a
random hand-out of spells that allow you
to summon monsters and call up a
plethora of peculiar weapons. Luckily,
they're all spelled out in the manual.
There are eight different difficulty levels
for you to choose so it'll take more than a
morning to master. And the game's fast
enough to provide a satisfying slugfest for
all but the most hardened arcader, plus the
animated

graphics make it constantly
entertaining to watch - well, what d'you
think a Gooey Blob looks like?
Chaos offers enough magical
unpleasantness to keep swords and
sorcery fans in a teeth gnashing frenzy -
just what the dentist ordered. So grab your
box of magic tricks and do it to them
before they do it to you ... 4/5

Roger: The Concise Oxford Dictionary
gives a variety of meanings to this game
title, many of which are
applicable to content. 2/5

Ross: It takes a while to get into the swing
of this game but once you've sussed the
sorcery, it'll have you under
its spell. 3/5

SNAFFLE
Longman £9.95Dave: Here's a word game that bears a

remarkable resemblance to another word
game called Sc ... well, let's just say that
any resemblance between the two is
probably purely intentional. This one's
described as a fast and furious game for all
the family. Mmmm. Fast, maybe but
furious, almost certainly - one of those
games that's likely to have everyone from
8 to 80 arguing like good'uns.
Certainly, the booklet that comes with
it, isn't bad so what about the game? Well,
on loading you're first asked how many
players there are. At the last count there
was only one of me, so I shall invent a
chum called Bob. In go our initials and
away we go. I press a key until a letter
appears. Bob presses one, another letter.
And so it goes on until one of us spots a
word. We then use the Pick key to regroup
the letters

and the word's made. I'm then
asked if I agree that Bob's word 'Blitnung'
is valid. If Bob's happy with it, so am I!
The booklet suggests that we keep a
dictionary handy. I agree. Word games on
the computer will always seem a bit
pointless until they have a dictionary built
in. This game should aid the
decline of literacy no end. 2/5

Roger: There's a word to describe this
game but the Ed would only cross it.
Suffice it to say I wasn't
impressed. 1/5

Ross: There's no reason to put this on
computer at all. In fact, there's no
reason for the game at all.
Bored then snored! 1/5

GYRON
Firebird £9.95Roger: Any lump of software that gets

nominated as a legend in its own
lunchtime, is in serious danger of a
generally rocky ride. Well, Gyron cannot
escape completely. The ten battalions of
mathematical geniuses who took about
seven trillion light years to carve the game
out of living machine code have created
some stunning visual effects but they
haven't come up with the game content.Gyron is best described as a 3D maze of
considerable complexity. The quality of
the graphics is certainly exceptional as you
trundle through the corridors of alien
power pursued by giant spheres. But this is
no variety act. It could take another trillion
years to suss out the maze exits and the
scenery will still stay the same. A small
hint that some smart marketing kiddie has
sussed the problem comes with

Gyron's
attachment to a spiffing competition - the
winner gets a Porsche 924 just like the
ones we had on YS before we got our
Rollers. Pass me the joystick and, er, wish
me luck! 2½/5

Ross: This is impressive - until you start
playing. Then it's just a question of slowly
trundling round a 3D maze trying to justify
forking out a tenner
on this tedium. 2/5

Dave: Firebird says that the changing
elements of the maze repeat every
100,000 years - that means they'll be
coming round again just about the time I
next load the game up. 1/5

CONFUZION
Incentive Software £6.95Ross: Haven't we been here before? This
puzzle-type game's very similar to Zenji
by Activision

and will appeal to much the
same people. The game's built up of fuses,
bombs and sparks and the idea is simply to
arrange the fuses so that they lead the
sparks to the bombs. Explosive stuff, eh?
Well, not quite. The fuses are split into
curved sections so they can be rotated
through 90 degrees and joined in a
multitude of ways. To make life trickier
you've only a limited time to complete
each grid.
The number of bombs you have to blow
up and the complexity of their fuses range
from the 'possible to the close your eyes
and hope for the best'. The controls are a
synch and you can use the joystick to
highlight a large portion of the fuse-ways
- the fire button then rotates that bit.
The difficulties begin when you attempt
to usefully direct the constantly moving
spark. By

luck rather than judgement, I
managed to clear a few screens.
Nevertheless, you will develop a feel for
the game and I don't doubt that with some
thought you could work out a perfect
system. The graphics and sound are
reasonable so if you fancy blowing
cobwebs from some of those dormant
brain cells check it out. But
don't expect the big bang. 2/5

Roger: Read the name and then
agree that yes it is, isn't it! 2/5

Dave: I do have rather a soft spot for
puzzles and this one isn't at all bad. It'd be
nice if you could slow it down a touch
though - my brain just can't keep up -
and I don't want any sarky Ed's
comments. (As if! Ed). 3/5

J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K

JURY

ARNHEM
CCS £7.95Dave: At last - a wargame that's both playable and makes full use of
the Speccy's graphics. If I've been hard on this type of game in the
past it's because none I've seen has yet come up to this standard.
First off, you're given the choice of four basic scenarios.
If you're new to the game it's an idea to go for the easy option, a
seven turn reccy round the battlefield. The next three cover specific
operations that take more time but should turn you into a battle
scarred veteran. Only when you've got ten hours

to spare is there any
point in tackling the final scenario that covers the complete Market
Garden area. At the beginning it's sure to be whole river full of
bridges too far.
If you're on your tod, you'll control all the Allied forces
while the computer plays the Germans - with a friend, the Allies split
into Brits and Yanks and there's even a three player mode that offers
a complete free choice.
Play is certainly fast but it's easy to follow so you
shouldn't get hopelessly lost just as you thought you'd got 'em
outflanked. Plus there are sound effects and on-screen flashes that
show when a

unit is under attack.
The scrolling screen covers the whole of the Arnhem area and
there's also an accompanying map and booklet for budding battlers.
In-door generals who'd probably find the real thing a touch too noisy
could do worse than take a look. 4/5

Roger: Outside my usual cowardly tastes but good enough to make me
take a general's job - leading them from the rear ... 4/5

Ross: Not my sort of software but I soldiered on - and then got beat!
3/5

Here's an overview of your immediate terrain. It probably covers somewhere in the region of a fourteenth of the total battlefield.

The Advance to Eindhoven is on. This is the easiest of the five different scenarios and it'll only take you seven turns. The objective is to clear the centre road of German units. Course, if you're really a military megabrain you could change the course of history, beat the Germans and star in a remake of the film epic.

More info on what stage of the game you're at - on the easiest level there are seven phases building up to twenty-six on the trickiest. The border colour even changes to let you know when a different player's turn's come.

Keep off the grass! It's a lot trickier trudging over the rough terrain than going by road, so travel by tarmac if you've got to be there yesterday. But remember - you're a lot more vulnerable to enemy action when you're in the open.

All the computer's despatches are posted here. You could almost class Arnhem as a menu-driven wargame.

Each unit has the option of travelling in two formations - either four character blocks in size or scrunched down to just one. Spreading out means you can go on the attack and your troops are less vulnerable. In the tight formation you can squeeze through smaller gaps, march along the roads at double quick time but if you're clobbered your troops'll sustain twice the damage.

If the bridge is too far you'll find that the enemy has moved in pronto to guard it. Once they've put troops on bridge patrol, you'll find it pretty tricky to shift 'em.

There's a right barney going on here. To engage in battle with the enemy choose the bombard option from the menu, position the cursor and you'll be taken straight into the thick of the battle. The on-screen icons'll let you know the fire power of the opposing units.

Here's the roll-call of your troops. If you're yomping your way through one of the trickier scenarios, one or more of your units may be off-screen. When their turn comes round the screen scrolls to that territory.

The symbol here shows the type of unit you're moving. The 2nd Bn. Irish Guards is all tanked up and ready to roll ...

ICICLE WORKS
Centresoft £6.95Roger: Have we been here before or what?

Turning down the temperature on stuff
like Boulderdash doesn't improve a tired
scenario.
All that's demanded of the
undemanding is to scuttle about collecting
stuff, tunnelling through poorly defined
and barely visible snow-like substances
and avoiding the dislodged balls that might
fall on one's little frosty head. Jerky
scrolling moves the action across the
screen and the clock runs out even faster
than my short-fuse patience. The thirteen
ice-cold rooms offer as much fun as a
fortnight in a fridge-freezer though the
fauna is more fearsome - polar bears and
killer penguins.
Having seen this type of software
product climb up into precision platform
pleasure, all I can dumbly consider is that
Icicle Works has stepped through a time
warp, missing all the

clever programming
trickery of the last year or so.
Icicle Works? No it doesn't. 1/5

Dave: I've been waiting for a good Digdug/
Mr Do game to come out on the Speccy
and after seeing this, I reckon I'll just have
to wait a bit longer. It's a good idea but the
implementation lets it down. When was
the last time you saw sprites moving
two cursor blocks at a time? 2/5

Ross: There's nothing original here and,
yes the graphics are jerky and sometimes
obscure but it still got me hooked. If you
haven't seen its predecessors
take a look. 3½/5