Transcript: Flatophonia: The Art of the Musical Anus

I like to end these talks with my top pick for study-of-the-year. But before I get to the top finalist, I thought I might briefly share some contenders for last place. For example, money was spent sniffing the effect of mugwort and mushrooms on the urine odor of aged mice. Or how about this one: how to use fish guts for laundry detergent. Taxpayers paid for an investigation of the structure of tomatoes by means of quantitative nuclear MRIs. We now know, ladies and gentlemen, what the inside of a tomato looks like.

The effects of a horsemeat-based Atkins diet on rats was studied, as well as how to improve the gelling properties of ground lizardfish, because you know there’s nothing worse than runny lizardfish jello.

What are the sensory and color changes in warty venus flesh during marination—because if the color’s off or something, forget it.

The meat industry continues to try to get rid of their byproducts. You’ve heard of soy infant formula, dairy infant formula; how about chicken-based formula for babies? Don’t worry; the meat is blenderized, so as to be easily sucked through a rubber nipple.

See, I don’t just read journals like Planta Medica, and Phytomedicine; I read the Journal of Muscle Foods. Not foods for muscles, mind you, but foods made out of muscles.

What might one find in a nutrition journal of meat? Articles about how to starve bunnies, of course. Starved rabbits have “the highest ripe meat ratio,” and therefore the best barbequed bunny can be obtained by withholding food.

On a lighter note, from a Norwegian medical journal: “Flatophonia: the art of the musical anus is reviewed.” The man could blow out candles from yards away—a true fartiste.

You’ll notice that the 13th edition of this book, published in 1727, was not only reviewed by the College of Physicians, but “approved by several Ladies of Quality.”

To see any graphs, charts, graphics, images, and quotes to which Dr. Greger may be referring, watch the above video. This is just an approximation of the audio contributed byveganmontreal.

Acknowledgments

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Andrew Kosta

What do they mean when they say “ladies of quality”?

HereHere

There is obviously a lot of disgusting research going on and getting published. I had no idea there was a “Journal of Muscle”. I feel sad for all the animals that were tested on for such seemingly pathetic uses. Really, I thought paid research had to go through ethical review boards to focus on reducing the number of animals, finding a replacement (non-animal), and refinement (to find ways to reduce suffering and harm to the animal research subjects), referred to as the 3 Rs in research.

I hope the horse meat study took into account that most horses raised in the US are not raised under food safety guidelines and are therefore given many substances which are banned from use in ANY animal intended for human consumption.

Confused Rich

An August 19 article by Dr. Mercola states ” a healthier alternative to vegetable oils are saturated fats from animals and vegetables … your body cannot function without saturated fat.” This is the exact opposite to what you claim in your articles and videos.

Alex Gewecke

Yeah but Dr. Mercola also profits off of selling lots of stuff that is questionable. Dr. Greger doesn’t profit off of the stuff he sells.

Danrich

As a new vegan dieter I can not avoid the issue with flatulence, even with the use of charcoal capsules or ginger/peppermint tea
How do I put out the fire of my farts out forever short of dying to stop the smell from down below?
Thanks

Thea

Danrich: Congrats on healthy eating! As for the problem with flatulence, have you seen the following article from NutrtionFacts? : http://nutritionfacts.org/2011/12/05/beans-and-gas-clearing-the-air/ That article has some ideas that might help.
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Also note that lots of people report that while they may have gas on their new diet, they notice distinctly less smell on the gas after they have gone through an adjustment period. You hopefully will have that to look forward to also.
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Good luck and let us know how it goes.