Football Notebook

Can't believe that there will be much demand in London to see a musical about the bloated freak Maradona, but just in case you're interested in it coming to the West End stage, here are a few highlights from its opening night in Buenos Aires. 1) Maradona is approached by a beautiful woman at a Paris cocktail party who opens up a silver case full of cocaine. "Want to try some?" she slurs. "Try some what?" the Argentinian star asks innocently. This is about as believable as Neil Ruddock being bemused by an Essex girl offering him a double cheeseburger. 2) Maradona sings what is described as "a tear-jerking baritone ballad" before seducing his wife. Jerk being the operative word. 3) Maradona is visited by the ghost of Che Guevara. In reality, of course, Maradona has a tattoo of the communist revolutionary leader on his arm but in the West End show, the part of the ghost could, perhaps, offer some gainful employment to lookalike Peter Withe.

Refs call time on game

After pressure from the Italian Referees Association, toy manufacturer Preziosi Games has abandoned production of a controversial football game called "Seize the Referee". The company is owned by Enrico Preziosi, president of Serie B club Genoa, so it's not hard to work out what he thinks of Italian whistle-blowers.

Sofa, so bad for Suzi

Suzi Walker, wife of Leicester goalkeeper Ian, tells a property magazine that she has now developed a more sophisticated approach to decor. Notebook wouldn't have a clue about any of this, naturally, but gone, apparently, are the days of leopard-skin sofas and zebra table mats. What's in the new sophisticated look? "A huge sofa in faux baby ostrich leather" and a bedroom "with a fullheight, beige suede headboard". Nice. By coincidence, Suzi and Ian are friends of the Beckhams but they have some way to go to match the art-loving prowess of that pair. According to the Sunday Times: "Victoria and David have shown an increasing interest in art since they spotted a painting of a squiggle in a Manchester noodle bar in 1998 and had the £300 painting unscrewed from the wall. They appreciate sculpture, too. In 2002 they commissioned a 20ft bronze statue of themselves for their garden." A summer cheese fondue and art party surely awaits.

Charlton coach flips

An amusing little exchange between a Charlton coach and one of his Under-18 players who had turned up for a match against Arsenal on Sunday. "Sorry gaffer, but I've left my boots at home." Cue an expletive-filled discourse on whether a plumber would go to work without his tools followed by an exasperated: "Well, what size are you anyway?" "Size 11, gaffer." "Great. I've got f****** Flipper playing for me."

Freddie's taste for wild life

BOOK CLUB 16: Freddie Ljungberg (Arsenal) The midfielder says he is fond of reading: "You spend so much time in hotels doing nothing that reading helps. I like stuff like Wilbur Smith." Ljungberg's favourite author, incidentally, is a 70-year-old from Zambia who once said: "I've eaten lion, leopard, crocodile, python. I don't recommend lion. It tastes exactly like when a tom cat comes into your house and sprays."