It’s been a while since I have written here. I could say ten different reasons why, but that is for another blog post (or most likely not).

One of the main reasons is that there is just only so much of Steph to go around. I am saving the best parts of me for my family. Right now that means going to chemo with my Dad every Monday.

Every week Dad and I take a selfie with a quick update, and I post it on my personal Instagram and Facebook. Some may wonder why I (over)share about such a personal subject in a public forum. Here are just a few reasons why I let everyone in:

I covet your Prayers. I want prayers from far and wide to cover my parents, my sister and I. I have been in a crisis situation where the prayers of my family, friends and strangers alike literally held me up. I want that kind of strength and peace for my family that only comes through prayer. That is the peace of God that passes all understanding that you can only have through Christ (Phillipians 4:7).

I want to share our Smiles & Faith. Dad was diagnosed with a very rare, stage 4 Cancer that is not operable nor curable. The diagnosis was very bleak when we heard it almost two years ago. Yet we hold our hope in Jesus, so we can smile every week. Sure there are definitely a lot of tears too. However, we know no matter how hard things get, Jesus has us wrapped in His arms. I am so grateful to my parents for raising my sister in I to know and love Jesus, so that we have the Faith needed to make it through the difficult times in life. There is no greater gift that a parent can give a child.

I want to be a Friend. I can’t tell you how many people who have approached me because they are either dealing with something similar with a parent or have in the past. Whether they can share some of their wisdom with me from their experiences or we can commiserate together about our pain, it helps us both feel better and not quite so alone in our pain.

I want to get REAL. In a world where your FB & Instagram feed is full of date nights, football games and pretty Christmas trees, I want to sprinkle in some reality. If you were to see me at the kids’ school, at work, church, or Publix, you would have no clue that I am dealing with such a difficult situation. Life doesn’t slow down just because you have a crisis you are dealing with at home. You have to keep up with life and responsibilites. There are people you cross in your life every day that are dealing with BIG things every day, and you don’t know it. Always be ready to give an extra bit of grace. The person that may be a little short with you…..the email/text that goes without a reply a little too long…..the mom that may forget to sign a folder or put $$ in her kids’ lunch account 🙋🏻😳 😂 Have a little extra patience and understanding with your fellow man. You may (or rather WILL!!) need it one day too!

Those are the answers that God typically gives us when we pray for something.

Sometimes we have to pray a long time to get an answer.

In 2013, I spent many nights crying and praying. My husband I were going through fertility treatments with our remaining frozen embryos (our sweet totsicles 🙂 Would I have another sweet baby to snuggle and rock in the wee hours of the night? Would I give my kids the baby that they asked me for every single day? Oh please God say YES!!

After a year of failed fertility treatments, I got an answer. When I had to have surgery to remove my fallopian tubes, the answer was not only a NO, but a “Not Now. Not EVER!” It was devastating. I couldn’t understand why He not only said NO, but slammed the door shut on the possibility to have another baby. All of my hope was gone. And honestly, my feelings were hurt. Why did it have to be so final?? It took me a while to get back on good speaking terms with God.

Fast forward to four years later…

As I was having my quiet time this morning, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. Saying NO in such a permanent way was the most loving thing that God could do for you. He wasn’t slamming the door in my face as I felt years ago. He was wrapping me in His arms and forcing me to face my reality and heal. God knew me. He knew that I love babies and would still want to have another one. He knew if I thought there was even a slight chance that I could get pregnant, I would continue to try.

Infertility robbed my husband and I of so many years in our marriage. Over the last four years, we have been able to heal and strengthen our marriage. No consulting a calendar to determine when to be romantic. No month to month roller coaster of hormones and emotions. By God taking the possibility of becoming pregnant away from me, He allowed me to focus on the many blessings in my life.

I broke my seven month hiatus of writing because I wonder if anyone else is struggling with an answer that God has given you? Maybe your feelings are hurt. Maybe you don’t understand why He had to answer that way. Maybe you aren’t quite on speaking terms with God right now.

It is hard for us as humans to see beyond this snapshot in time. God sees the whole eternal picture. I am so grateful that God gave me the insight into why he said NO and reminded me how deep His love is.

It’s the first day of Fall, I’m 9 pounds closer to making my skinny jeans shut the heck up. They have been sitting in my closet mocking me. “Ain’t no way you are fitting in me – – let alone zipping!”

I know. I know. A few too many #1’s from Chik Fil A, a few too many leisurely cookouts with a few too many margaritas. Add to the fact that, apparently, the closer you get to the big 4-0, your youthful metabolism takes a NOSEDIVE.

So I got serious. I am okay with not being skinny as a rail; that isn’t how God made me. But clearly I had gone off the rails a bit and needed to reign this crap in. So I started my standby – – Weight Watchers™ because it works. It helped me through the freshman 15, birthing twins, and then birthing my 3rd child less than two years later.

If you have ever been on a Weight Watchers™, you might have:

Curled up in a ball crying when you looked at what you thought was a healthy option and see it was a gazillion points. Thank you every salad on the menu EVER!!😩

Scoured the Tostitos bag for 12 WHOLE chips. If you are going to burn WHOLE points, you better believe you are not wasting any bites eating partials. Then you…

Slapped your husband’s hand when he tried to take one of your chips. Because just like Joey, Steph doesn’t share food. 😡

Savored a bag of Pirate’s Booty for supper, so you could still have the blessed 5 points for your wine.🍷

Ate an entire pint of strawberries as you washed them because, you know, they are free!🍓

Looked up the food you ate on my cheat day, and they are so bad that they aren’t even listed in the app. 😳 I mean come on – – Pimento Cheeseburger and Duck fat Fries…that can’t be so bad!! 😂

Realized how many times you finished the kids’ crust or took bites as you cooked since you are tracking everything that went into your mouth. 🙊

Got yogurt all over your face from licking the top and inside the container because, hey, you gotta maximize your points!😋

Found your motivation to clean your house when you saw that you earned FitPoints™ for doing it. 4 points, thank you very much! (then I looked up chasing kids, brushing teeth, anything to get more 😜)

Logged a food, then deleted it when you took a bite and it wasn’t Point-worthy.🙅🏻

Dethroned your BFF of 20 years to a mom that asked if you had lost weight. (Just kidding Jodi – you will always be my BFF. And Brea, you totally made my Tuesday 😘)

I joke about all of this, but I love everything about the program. Weight Watchers ™ helps you create healthy habits with your eating and your physical activity. And the app is super easy to use.

It’s not about getting skinny (or even into skinny jeans). It’s about getting healthy.

I wanted to share my interview with fellow Christian author, Ginny Priz, about my battle with Infertility. It is filled with a message of HOPE in a very desperate time. Please share with someone who has a similar struggle or maybe just loves someone that is dealing with Infertility.

My friend and fellow Christian author, Ginny Priz, is hosting an interview series called “Beauty from Ashes” on her website. She is interviewing 10 amazing women about how God helped them find HOPE in spite of their bad circumstances. And guess what?? I am one of them! I will be sharing about how God helped strengthen me through my battle with Infertility on Thursday, August 25th.

Please take a few and hop on over to Ginny’s website, sign up for the series, and be inspired!

And that is all in the first five minutes of my 9 year old daughter’s sleepover.

Then in the next 5 minutes. . .

Huffing. Puffing. Foot stomping. And of course….the dreaded eye roll.

GIRL DRAMA. As irrational as it is, it is totally natural. Or as my husband, Eric, insists when there are more than one females in a room together…it is inevitable. 😜

I LOVE that my daughter has found other strong girls with likewise strong personalities. I can’t wait to watch them grow up, take on this world and see what God has in store for them.

However, when they are young, sometimes they can trip over their big personalities and bruise some feelings on their way down. That is where us big girls who have been there and done that can help. We can’t totally ditch the Drama. However, we can help our girls side step some of the theatrics and learn to face it head on when it can’t be avoided.

So this morning before our fruit, bacon and waffles, we had a Mama and girls pow wow. We brainstormed what we could do to take care of our friendships.

Here is what the girls pledged to Ditch the Girl Drama:

Be Kind. Kindness comes from the heart; it is love in action. I love my friends, so I will treat them with love and respect. But…

If I Get My Feelings Hurt, I Will Talk it Out With my Friend…Not Other Girls. The best way I can deal with a situation is to go straight to my friend and talk to her about it. Talking to someone else about it is just gossiping and may hurt someone else’s feelings. Who knows? Maybe I just misunderstood! But if not…

Ask for Forgiveness & Forgive Easily because…

I Understand We All Make Mistakes. No one is perfect! We all talk or act before we think sometimes. And then I will…

Learn From My Mistakes. I love and respect my friends, so I will do my best to make better choices next time. And, of course, I will. . .

ALWAYS Have My Friend’s Back! Even though we decided to ditch the drama, there are girls that thrive on drama. We will support and take care of each other. Always.

As I type this, they are again giggling, singing and dancing to JT.

Funny. I plan on doing that very same thing this weekend on my Girls Weekend with my girlfriends of over 20 years.

I pray these sweet girls will be doing the same with each other in 2036.

Cute. Easy. Low time commitment. Those are my criteria for Pinterest. If I see more than 5 ingredients – X out of that immediately. If it looks like it will take me more than 30 minutes – Get outta my Face with that thing!

So when Eric and I decided to have a 4th of July Eve party, obviously I got a little Pinterest happy with all things Red, White & Blue.

Here are few things that I did that met all my criteria! And the best thing is almost all could be done the day before 🙂

Jello Fireworks from Kraft Recipes. These were a HUGE hit with the kids!

Patriotic Strawberries from The Idea Room. These were so easy and my daughter, Ella, helped!

My Patriotic Fruit Pizza from House of Hawthornes was the only exception from making the day before because I wanted the fruit to be fresh. However, I went ahead and made the crust and topping then refrigerated them. I also washed and cut up the strawberries. It only took me about 15 minutes (with Ella’s expert help again!) to top and glaze the pizza before the party. Score!

Easy peasy lemon squeezy as Ella would say! Finally I got to sit down just in time to enjoy our fireworks :

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About the SLM

Stephanie Greer is The Southern Lady Mama. She is the blessed mama of three children. She shares a humorous look at life as a wife, friend, lady and a mama.
Stephanie is the author of "Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility...Twice." This book chronicles her near ten year battle with Infertility and what she learned through the difficult process.