Rie's Discussions

What are some ways you have honored your loved one and helped kids through the first Father's Day? I am hoping to have his children that day for at least a little while.... my spouse's ex-wife has…Continue

My spouses's ex-wife has cut off all contact and will not let me see the children, ages 11-13-15. Before his death, custody was 50-50 and the children lived in our home and we were a family. Now…Continue

Rie's Page

My Story...

My Fiance' died March 10, 2014 following a sudden onset of symptoms and a cancer diagnosis on January 15, 2014. He had a nose bleed that would not stop and went to an urgent care. We had no idea anything was wrong. He was diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome that had progressed to AML. We were fighting the Leukemia with hopes of a bone marrow transplant when complications took his life 55 days after diagnosis. He was 49 years old, the father of three beautiful children and the love of my life.

We met in college and dated for a few years but ended up on our own paths to separate lives. 20 years later we reunited and it was amazing, soul mates finally together. After 3 years of long distance dating, we decided to put it all together in June 2013. We created a home together in Iowa with his 3 children, whom I adore. We were planning a wedding and a lifetime of memories ahead.

I went from planning a wedding to planning a funeral. I am lost and deeply sad. It is very hard to find meaning in anything right now. Everyday is a blur...

I am happy to have found this place where someone understands...many someones...

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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Thanks for reaching out. I haven't been good at all this week. It seems to be getting harder and harder. I keep on going back and forth about San Diego , but as of right now I am going. I too look forward to chatting in person. Hope your week is going better than mine.

Rie so saddened to hear your story. That you lost all that time between your first meeting and finding him again. I have wondered about this too. I had a really difficult marriage and I had this longing for happiness. We were together for 25 yrs. Later he wanted out.. about 3 mths later I met the Love of My life - my Wes. We were brought togetther... only one week in whch to meet. When we talked I found out that we could have met about 20 yrs ago. We both married at a similar time.. but perhaps we made the wrong choice. Anyway he had been working in a College which I had been doing some contract work there. The building was small... how could I have missed him? The years followed and I found I had been driving past his house in the city to go to work morning and evening. Surely he could have been out in the garden pruning roses? So I could see him. But it was only when my husband said he wanted out.. after some terrible things had occurred. That the love of my life appeared. We had 17 yrs together... I always had a deep feeling that it may not be a long marriage as I am quite intuitive. He actually fell ill to the very period of time I had been given.

But Iprayed and prayed and others did too and he left at a later time. But he was struggling with health issues. He also had cancer... but we did not take any of the chemo or radiotherapy treatment. Only alternative meds with Drs who used this. I know that he did not want to leave - because I asked him did he want to live? He had everything to live for more grandchildren and our deep love... I cared for him at home - with no other help. So the longest we were separated was for the 3 weeks in hospital after the operation. So one really wonders why such wonderful relationships don;t last longer. If Wes and I had met and not married the wrong person we would have had about 44 yrs together. We also discovered that he had a poster on the back of his door (after his first marriage failed) which was like me. I also had a photo on my fridge of a man who looked so much like Wes.. somehow in our souls we had this picture written on our heart. All I think of now is meeting him in heaven... and making sure I walk the narrow path that leads us there.

Thanks so much for reaching out to me. I am so sorry for your loss. You looked like a wonderful couple. I was married to Gregg for 20 years when he died in 2012. He was diagnosed with PSC 10 years ago and we spent the next 10 fighting the illness. Letting him go was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done in my life.

The first year is the hardest. If you ever need a friend, please feel free to reach out to me. I am a little farther down this difficult path. I am looking forward to San Diego too. It is hard to find people who understand us.