Man Shoves Giant Aubergine Up His Bum ‘To Try And Cure Constipation’

As anyone with a smartphone and a sense of humour will contest, the aubergine has recently become synonymous with a certain type of text message, mainly due to its phallic emoji form and lack of anything more suggestive on our phones’ keyboards.

This guy, however, may have taken someone’s text message a little too literally.

A 50-year-old Chinese man had to go to hospital after inserting an aubergine so far inside himself, it was pressing on one of his lungs.

KNEWS

The man claimed he’d inserted the vegetable into his rectum as he was trying to cure his constipation. The vegetable had then apparently moved up and along his intestines, before reaching his upper abdomen, the Daily Mail reports. I know the saying goes the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but this is something else.

The doctors stated when they found the aubergine, it had nearly reached his heart.

Apparently, the man didn’t visit the hospital until two days after he’d put the vegetable inside himself, and claimed he thought the vegetable could act as a laxative to help with his constipation.

KNEWS

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you’re feeling a bit bunged up, don’t you want things to come out, rather than go in?

And if you’re wondering, it didn’t cure the poor guy. In fact, somewhat understandably, it just made his pain and discomfort worse, while also causing nausea and vomiting.

The unnamed man had to undergo surgery for the aubergine to be removed, which, after a CT scan, confirmed the vegetable in question was 30cm long.

KNEWS

At least constipation is a – slightly – more believable excuse than falling and ‘accidentally’ getting something stuck up your bum.

The man, who (as you can understand) remains anonymous, turned up at Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital and Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research in New Delhi, where he insisted he hadn’t put the shower head up there himself.

British Medical Journal

The 26-year-old had to detach the shower head from the pipe connecting it to the wall, and take himself off to the hospital.

Luckily, his vitals showed he was stable and there was no evidence of blood in his rectum.