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Monday, July 18, 2011

You Gotta Have Faith...

Yeah, I can hear George Michael singing that song in my head now! Sorry...didn't mean to take us on that particular ride this evening! But I've been thinking a lot about faith tonight. Mainly, because I had to teach little people about it at Vacation Bible School...but also because I really am figuring out that in my journey to the New Angie, faith plays a huge role!

Tonight I taught the kids who came to my VBS room a Bible story about the faith of the Roman Centurion...the absolute belief he had that Jesus is who He says He is...can do what He says He can do. I have that kind of faith. It's developed over time since I met him 29 years ago and every time I see Him come through for me it is strengthened. But there's more to that faith story.There's also the faith that I am who He says I am...and that I can do ALL THINGS through Him. This kind of faith means choosing to see myself the way He does, rather than the way I've typically seen myself over the years. I haven't always been kind to myself...

He says I am dearly loved...but I often feel hugely unlovable.
He says I am strong...but I consider myself weak.
He says I am able...but I more often see my disabilities.
He says I can...but I frequently say I can't.
He says I am worth it...but sometimes I feel like I have little value.
He says I am made in His image...but at times I look in the mirror and hate what I see.

I need this kind of faith in my life in order to make the journey I'm on. I need to see myself the way God already sees me! I can't see the end of this journey yet. I have no real concept of what it's going to be like when I'm no longer an obese woman. But He does. He sees me there now, and it's time I see it, too!!!

I've spent WAY too many years of my life allowing myself to use negative self talk. You keep on saying those negative, disparaging things about yourself, you start to believe them! But no more. I can't do that and still have the kind of faith I want to have.

I didn't work out today like I wanted to. No big deal...it's really not the end of the world like I was treating it earlier today.

I didn't particularly shine professionally today like I wanted to. There's always tomorrow and a chance to do better.

I didn't eat as healthy as I could in the rush of this day. It's not going to put back all of the 77 pounds I've already lost.

Having faith that this journey WILL BE SUCCESSFUL this time is not something that comes naturally to me, sadly. But my gut tells me that the more I choose to believe it, the closer I get to meeting my goals.