Buttermilk Finale Part 5/5

I debated for a while about posting this one. Buttermilk was a 5-part story arc I started on here but never finished. Well, for those that asked for the end, here's the end. However, it's been so long since any of the other parts have been posted, so the real joke of the ending is kinda lost. Buttermilk was a 5-part zany cartoon series, which I decided to end on a hyper-realistic depressing note only because it was funny to ME. After reading it, one of my friends told me "people like you wrote the Mass Effect 3 ending".