I Hate the Word ‘Stress’ in a Life of Chronic Pain

Actually, I’ve disliked that word — stress — for a very long time, long before I faced chronic pain every day. “Stress” is overly applied, misused, and has become the universal bandaid for too many areas of life. Doctors seem to use it for any physical condition they can’t explain. Well-meaning friends and relatives coo it to us as if we’re not to be taken seriously and think just by saying, “Oh, you’re stressed,” that we will automatically feel better.

There’s an excellent physiological definition for true stress in the current issue of Natural Health magazine, Dec/Jan 2011. The author, Dorothy Foltz-Gray, goes into minute detail regarding the hormones that are triggered by the hypothalamus after it receives messages from the brain. The stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline are released and you’re ready to flee or fight. The heart begins to pump more blood throughout the body. It’s a fascinating article and you might want to check it out.

Those of us who have pain 24/7 are always in a state of anxiety. We are tense, anxious and, yes, stressed. Okay, I used the dreaded word. Now, what do we do about it? Are we forced to live with it? Do we add it to the long list of daily problems we constantly face? Many of us learned long ago, after years of anxiety, that taking a pill for it is not always the answer. It’s one thing to have surgery or some temporary condition and take pain pills or one of the “social anxiety” drugs for that but it’s quite another issue if you’re to be down for the count. If you, as I, have to face pain, fear, frustration and tension each day, isn’t that a lot of pills? Where do we draw the line at pill-taking and trying other methods to improve our anxious lives? Since all medications have side effects, aren’t we just opening another closet and releasing another monster into our already compromised lives?

We have often shared the many answers to living with chronic pain in our lives. Of course, often the answer is a pain pill or a muscle relaxant, but what do we do about all the griping we feel in the gut at certain events, extra painful days, and life changes caused by our diseases or injuries? How do you fight or flee when it’s your body causing that feeling and it’s with you all day long. I don’t know about you, but I suspect you have to take your body everywhere you go every day, as I do, although I’m certain there are times when I leave my brain behind.

Let me share with you my ways of dealing with the dreaded, overused stress factor:

Find your center. You can do this by standing tall, body aligned (lined up), and breathing deeply. Reach up and try to touch the ceiling. Stretch, breath, live. You can practice yoga, meditation, or whatever works for you. I often escape to a hot sudsy bath full of organic lavender bubbles. Lavender is a soothing scent and the heat forces painful tensions to ease. You might have a favorite chair, a window with a view, or a book of poetry which soothes you. You might gain comfort from reading the Bible. The key is to leave your troubles behind for a little while and let your mind rest, as well as your troubled body.

Get off the couch. It doesn’t really matter how much pain you’re in. I know. Your pain is, in your mind, worse than anyone else’s, but it may not be and what if it is? This isn’t a contest. You have to move. Move whatever part of you that isn’t in a cast. Walk in place in your home, buy a treadmill, or walk around the block when the weather allows. My favorite little inexpensive exercise assistants are those rubber stretchy bands. They come in all colors and levels of resistance. Just pull them to strengthen your arms; wrap them around the bedpost and stand up to pull them for your aching neck or tie them around your thighs to strengthen your legs. There is so much you can do with them that is helpful and will strengthen your weary, painful body. Any muscles you are not using will die. Muscles, much like your mind, have to be used in order to stay on the straight and narrow and fulfill their function.

Get rid of the clutter in your life. As you all know, we live in a small Victorian home and it becomes cluttered very easily. When it reaches that point of critical mess…well, it isn’t a pretty sight. I get just as ugly because it bothers me. Clutter all around me causes my mind to also become cluttered, frustrated and bitchy. I’ve been on a binge lately, ordering more cupboards for our old indoor back porch and free-standing shelves for the basement. Even if I can’t see the clutter, I know it’s there. It will help me to put it behind doors, in a cupboard or organized on a shelf. We have paint cans that we must get out of here and must go back to the paint store or some other legal depository. I just threw away three years worth of magazines. That was very hard for me and I told Jim to get that double-bagged load out of the house quickly before I changed my mind. Sometimes you have to be ruthless with yourself for your own good.

Go have fun. Sometimes it’s as simple as sitting on the floor with the dogs and playing, wrestling, or throwing a ball for them. It’s really difficult to feel stressed when you’re playing with a beloved pet. Draw a circle of yarn on the floor and watch what the cat does or better still, play laser flashlight with your cat. I can’t do it with our Jack Russell because she has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and would sit and stare at the entertainment center all day waiting for me to get it down. One day she and I walked to the trash can and I forced her to watch me throw it away. Hey, it was for her own good and mine. You know what gives you pleasure. Watch a wonderful old movie and please, don’t watch the 24-hour news. That’s just too repetitive and too depressing all day long. Watch out for those modern movies, too. You know the ones I mean – where everyone is a crook, the government is out to get us, and the CIA or some flesh-eating robot is outside your window. Watch something made by MGM in the early days, or Disney.

“Forget your troubles, come on, get happy.” As the old song says so lyrically, stop thinking about your problems all the time. Think about someone else. Pray for all of us who need you here at Everyday Health. Pray for your friends and family who must have problems also. Pray for them to continue in their wellness if they are so blessed. I occasionally see an elderly neighbor of mine walking into town and give him a lift. He used to ride a bicycle but can’t do that anymore. He is ancient. Gerald is even older than I am, and he lives alone in a dilapidated old house just up the block from us. Gerald always sparks this imagination of mine because he is always covered with a layer of dirt. When I give him a ride into town, I always have to go back out later and wash off the leather seat in the car. Gerald has problems, obviously. I’ve talked to some of the other neighbors and we have all given him food from time to time; one neighbor even gave him a new jacket. I wonder about Gerald’s life and I feel so very blessed. God bless Gerald.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sue Falkner-Wood

Sue Falkner-Wood is a retired registered nurse living in Astoria, Ore., with her husband, who is also an R.N. Sue left nursing in 1990 due to chronic pain and other symptoms related to what was eventually...read more