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Monday, November 19, 2012

Wedding Wire is full of shyte.

So, when I was a stressed out bride, I was searching all over the place trying to find reputable, real-person reviews of hair and make-up places, DJs, etc., so I could get the real scoop on services out there.

The best review is an honest one, so that is what I sought out.

There are a few websites that claim to offer real reviews on vendors, DJs, caterers, hair stylists and make-up artists, and pretty much ANYTHING you could possibly think of that you might want at your wedding.

We didn't go over the top. We tried to keep costs reasonable. I read quite a few sites, but found a lot of Ontario vendors on WeddingWire.com. You would have thought this was a good thing. I thought so, too. I learned fairly quickly that this wasn't the case.

I stressed about my hair and make-up, like any vain bride is wont to do. I didn't want to look like I was covered in spackle, but at the same time, I kind of wanted to be covered in spackle so as to hide the innumerable flaws on this mug-o'-mine.

I looked around. I debated. I contacted, and found that the top two I liked the most were already booked for the Thanksgiving long weekend.

Then I came across Mobile Makeovers. It looked pretty snazzy, with the "before" and "after" pictures where ordinary normal women appeared glamorized and beautified with magic.

It never occurred to me until later that there ARE things like Photoshop and sneaky marketing. DUH.

I went with my mom. I paid a deposit on May 3, 2011 for me and my ladies via Paypal to Mobile Makeover's owner, Alexandra. A while later, in September, I went for a trial run.

DEAR GOD WOMEN, ALWAYS TRY THE TRIAL RUN.

This is my face without make-up on a given day:

Dorky sexpot? No... not really. Moving on...

I have to say that Alexandra was nice enough and polite during the trial. But when I asked for a pale green eyeshadow, she didn't have it. She said she would use something close. Apparently that means PURPLE eyeshadow. I wanted a light blush. Didn't have that either.

Also? I sat in a room without the lights on or the blinds fully open, while she painted on the foundation. I cannot EMPHASIZE ENOUGH that light is required in order to see what the hell you are doing! In any situation! Unless you're working a dark room!

And after Mobile Makeovers finished my make-up in an unlit room, this is what I looked like:

WTF? Shiny. Waxy. Purple-y.

I was smiling because I hadn't seen myself yet.

Now, I know some folks prefer a more dramatic look. I, however, was not SEEKING the whore/streetwalker look for my wedding. It took all I had not to cry when I looked in the mirror. At this point, time was running out, and there was no freakin' way that I was letting Mobile Makeovers do my face.

My face after I got out to the car:

BOO, motherf_cker. Pretty natural, as requested, right? I really like how it looks like there is a dark circle of makeup around both eyes, top and bottom.

My husband thinks I look good without make-up. I didn't think he'd be pleased that I looked like a $5 whore. I figured I was worth AT LEAST a solid $250.

I hadn't wanted him to see what style my hair would be, but me and mom decided we had to stop at his work to show him just how... er... um... PRETTY? I looked.

He actually laughed. And he's a very polite fellow. I think I warranted about a two dollar coin at this point.

I ended up panicked the same day at the Keora Aveda salon in Burlington, Ontario begging the make-up artist Ashley F. to help me, and asking her if all wedding make-up had to be that thick and that poor.

Thank goodness she was awesome. She gave me stuff to wash my face and redid everything. On the day of the wedding, she went above and beyond and I was thrilled with how patient, kind and GOOD at her job she was.

Ashley F. was fantastic. The lipstick choice was my own (I bought it at Sephora two days before) and regrettably more peach than I wanted, but that was alllll me. Ashley was such a pro.

Here's the great part. I paid Mobile Makeovers a deposit, as well as for the trial run. I felt that I had a moral obligation to share my experience with other brides because.. well, holy shit, those photos speak for themselves.

I posted my review to WeddingWire.com ... remember them?

Turns out that the owner of Mobile Makeovers disputed my review and said that I had never done business with her and that I was not telling the truth.

'SCUZE ME?
The F_CK??

So I sent WeddingWire.com my screen shots of my PayPal transfer, the photos of the make-up, and forwarded the email threads from Mobile Makeovers.

They said the merchant still disputed it.

THEN, Mobile Makeovers sent me an email begging me to take down my review. She said that she would refund my money if I would take it down. I felt that was wrong, because a customer should be able to hear ALL experiences, not just the good ones.

I may have added my own tag line up there in blue.

Turns out WeddingWire.com didn't want to upset her, so they pulled my review, even though I have all of the proof to back it up. So while Mobile Makeovers tried to bribe me, turns out WeddingWire.com just needed to call me a liar and the review was gone.

So, world, consider this my review of WeddingWire.com and Mobile Makeovers in the Toronto area of Ontario.

I also had something not complimentary with my experience with Rockin' Robin DJ service out of Hamilton, Ontario, and a similar thing happened. Except I just got the notice a few weeks ago that I was "lying" once again, since apparently the vendor hadn't logged into his WeddingWire.com account for some time.

So, if you are looking for legitimate poor experiences to base your wedding vendor choices on, I highly recommend that you look somewhere else. You are not being given the entire picture, as long as the business/vendor challenges anything they don't like.

I know nothing of makeup, except I stopped dating a girl that wore too much of it, and it tasted terrible. There's a story that goes along with that involving a 78 LeMans, the best game of 10 pin bowling of my life, and, well, no need to go into that here.

Reviews. That's what I came here to talk about. On line reviews of products or services. I take them with a huge grain of salt. Enormous. I expect to see mixed reviews with both good and bad stuff. No product or service is completely perfect for any consumer. That's fine. As long as it's good for what I want. A string of perfect reviews is a tip off that somebody is gaming the system. I like the ones where you can read the original review (warts and all), and a response. Those can tell you a lot, since sometimes the consumer is in fact an unreasonable jerk trying to play the merchant. Sometimes there is a genuine misunderstanding. Some vendors demonstrate what they did to try to make it right.

Life is complex, and reviews should reflect that.

Now, back to makeup, briefly. Those shots of you in your blog header look fine. The one of you in the car is great. I'm dying to know the joke. Or what was out the window. The next two just look artificial. The wedding one is ok, I guess. But I'm a fan of no makeup. There are too many girls who are trying to imitate Barbie, and their faces look plastic and unreal. It's gross. I like to see a face with some milage on it, some wrinkles to let me know if they smile or frown. A bit of mobility to demonstrate personality. Freckles are cute. Piano key teeth make me nervous. Sweaty after a workout is hawt.

@Keith - That first car photo with no make-up was me in Hollywood, after we passed the Beverly Hills sign. I kept trying to get photos of signs and kept missing, so I took a self-portrait.

Those next two are exactly the problem. Waxen whore, I am.

I was happy with the wedding day make-up. We had lots of photos and I wanted to look put together for 'em. I don't normally wear foundation or that level of eye/cheek/face make-up.

I know, mixed reviews are key. I love it when the merchant replies, because you can also tell a LOT by how diplomatic they are. I'm just pissed that WeddingWire.com seemed legit... but only if the seller doesn't balk at the review. Booo.

I just found your hilarious post while searching for reviews of this MobileMakeovers.ca artist. I briefly considered booking her (swayed by Alexandra Colella's cheap prices) then I looked at her before/after shots and noticed how extremely photoshopped the after ones are... a few of them made me laugh out loud. I guess you get what you pay for!!

Thank you for taking the time to write this, you're awesome. This was a good reminder for me to always look for reviews from multiple sources, when booking anything online! I've heard of lots of other sites, like tripadvisor or yelp doing this same sort of sketchy shit.

It's so hard to know what's legit out there and what isn't. It's always good to go with someone a friend has used or can honestly recommend. I wish I had just listened to my friend in the first place, because I ended up at the same salon that she used.

Good luck with whoever you go with - I hope that you get what you want, with the right results at a reasonable price!