Emo has spent most of his life in the small NSW country town of Wee Jasper, population 87. Recently Emo put on hold a promisingly painful career as a Shearer to pursue his love of stand-up comedy. Currently he is preparing for the Quest for the best preliminary final at the Roxbury hotel in Sydney, so if you are another contestant who has googled him to see if he has done anything special* like a Raw Final or a JJJ comedy segment or supported a B grade pro comedian at the Penrith leagues club, you don’t need to worry because he hasn’t done any of these things, although Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison and Bill Hicks have been conducting some intense Tafe master classes at the Wee Jasper Comedy Institute, illustrating more than anything else the amazing fertility of the Wee Jasper mudflats in producing quality marijuana.

*He shore 204 angora goats in a day and 525 cashmere goats in a day, both unofficial Guinness Records so if the Roxbury Management decide to do a shear off, there will be some goats cruisin Glebe without their pyjamas. The most sheep he has ever shorn in a day was 205.

What the punters say about emo…

If you want to sort the wheat from the genetically modified wheat, emo is your man (National Farmers Federation).

There hasn’t been such a huge misunderstanding since Jackson Pollack’s cleaning lady hung his drop sheet out to dry (The Comedy Store Management).

We don’t know where the eyebrow comes from. When he was 6 he said he wanted a pet and sure enough, not long after that it showed up. I say careful what you wish for… (emo’s mum)