03/26/2012

It was an amazing night! One I absolutely will remember always <3
I don't know that I have ever felt so loved before in my entire life. So many amazing people we are blessed with in our lives. No amount of money could ever buy what we have.
So many people said I was literally glowing- words can't even describe how truly, beautifully loved inside & out I felt. Not only do we have all
These wonderful people in our lives- we where celebrating the love Marc & I found in each other.
I get to spend the rest of my life filled with all this love. I'm not by any means naive I know life is not always roses- but with memories like our engagement party to look back on... And the love we have for each other, we can make it through anything.
Once again thank you all for sharing this day with us & we love having you as a part of our lives!

02/25/2012

Hi there... How are you tonight? I'm ok better than I have been all week. Been doing a lot of thinking & I feel like the past 5-6 years I lost a part of myself.... Actually now that I think about it, it's been about 7 years in April. I stopped writing. I used to always always write even if no one saw it. So I'm gonna write again... Now it seems to be called blogging. If you like it great~ if you don't... Well it's simple really dont read it. If you like it feel free to share it, if you still hate it- don't fault me for your nosiness ;)

I miss the feeling of writing- once you finish writing you just get this feeling that you can breathe a little lighter. And you always seem to breathe in as deep as you could & release it- ahhhh. If you write you get me, if not don't judge. Something you love may make you feel that way. Don't be discouraged if you haven't found it yet or if you lost it. You'll find it again.

Just took a nice relaxing bath in Epsom salt (soothes the whole body! ha ha how old does that make me sound). First time in a long time I've allowed myself the time to relax in a bath & not a quick shower. I needed that. Maybe that's one of the things wrong with the world- we just don't take a chance to breathe or relax anymore. We should... We all really should. Writing makes me feel good, so why not do it. Lets face it, what good am I to anyone else if I'm not taking care of me? Every stop and ask yourself what makes me happy? No? Maybe it's time to... I did. If you couldn't sleep & needed something to read, hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to check out my previous 18 posts on here. Have a great night.Until next time... Keep Smiling *Live*Laugh*Love*Learn*

Bubbles. No two are ever alike. Yet they're all so pretty to look at. Bubbles come in all different shapes, sizes & colors. Big, small, pink, blue, some pop right away, some just linger, while others are there forever. Bubbles remind me of friendship. In life so many different friendships exist. The friends you meet through family, the ones you've known since elementary school, the ones who walk away when you need them the most, the ones that are there day or night if you call. So many different kinds of friends.

07/22/2011

Ever just sad & there's a million reasons why. Yet you can't focus on just one. Some little silly thing happens & triggers a marathon of emotions. You can't help but wonder if you confront the past if it makes the future better? It doesn't always. Been hurt so bad & bury it so deep that even years & decades later when you say it's ok- you don't even know if that's true? Even if you believe it is? Try to start fresh & not let the present be jaded by the past? Easier said then done.

Ever hate yourself because it all must simply be your fault since it's constantly history repeating itself? Wonder why things happen & when things will all stop turning out the same, even when you head in a different direction? Or when the simplest mistakes or bad judgments hurt so much? Even if you tell yourself they shouldn't? Can't change your true colors I guess.

Ever feel completely alone even when your surrounded by people who love you? Yet feel no one understands? Or the one person you want to talk to you just can't? For whatever the reason may be.

What about feeling like you have so much to say but no one ever gets it! Or sees things how you see them from your point of view? An then you start to question yourself because your the constant in every single situation? So it's very possible you are the problem. Are you? Or aren't you? Some days you feel you are some days you know differently.

I constantly feel all these things... Ok not constantly but I am a very very emotional person. In case you couldn't tell. I take a lot of things that most people wouldn't think twice about to heart. I don't always handle the situations very well either.

I've tried many times to change that about myself to make my softness a little bit harder. My weakness a bit stronger. It doesn't work. Now I've started to speak my feelings when something happens & I'm not sure thats the right answer either. I hate upsetting or disappointing people & fighting just breaks my heart. I write a lot... It doesn't always make sense to others but to me it does.

A lot of people can't understand why it's easier for me to write about what's bothering me instead of talking about it. If you know me at all you know I'm very emotional. It doesn't take much for me to be in tears- it's not the best reaction. Some see it as a weakness or compare me to a child. But it's me & I can't change it Trust me I've tried.
If this made no sense to you, sorry to have wasted your time reading it- just needed to express myself. Until next time...*Live*Laugh*Love*Learn*

07/17/2011

Hello my name is Doreen J Vitacco. I am the team captain for Tony's Angels. I have been participating with relay for life for 6 years and this is my 7th Relay for Life Event. To date I have raised close to $6,000 for the American Cancer Society. You can help me raise more by donating here: Donate here in memory of Anthony J Vitacco, Sr.

My first Relay took place June of 2006. The year my dad was diagnosed with cancer & passed away from cancer. When my job first decided to sign up to be a team I was all in. Dad was going to walk as a survivor. It was January when he was diagnosed. I believe March when he said sure “Dor, I’ll definitely walk with you. I can do it.” Although he passed away April 23, 2006 just 4 months after being diagnosed he is still with me during every step I take. The cancer took over my dad fast. He became some one that was hard to recognize. As you sit & watch all of these things take place, you simply feel helpless. How is it that he has to suffer through all this & I can’t do a thing to take his pain away or make it easier for him? I'd never in my life felt so helpless.

Why I relay is simple- I relay for my dad. I relay because he cant, I relay for those that struggle every day to just sit up in bed, take there medicine, smile, laugh, walk- do anything that every one of us takes for granted every day of our lives. I relay to find a cure. I relay because I can! I'm doing what I can to help as many people as I can never suffer the pain that cancer causes. Cancer doesnt only effect the person that it sick. It hurts everyone involved, the mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, daughters, sons, friends & family of the the person who has cancer. During the 6 years I've been doing this I always hear how strong of a person I am. I am no where near as strong as anyone that is fighting this battle.

Starting a team and getting involved with the relay is not a 1, 2, 3 task. You have to recruit a team and raise donations. What people dont realize is teams can be created from anywhere. Your co-workers, your friends, your family, your neighbors. This will be my 1st event without the support of my job & coworkers. So I've begun recruiting friends & family. Everyone always seems concerned with or afraid to ask people if they want to participate or donate to this amazing cause. But honestly the worst thing they can say is NO. And we have all heard that before in our life so really what do you have to lose?

Some tips that can help with recruiting a winning team:

*Ask anyone & everyone you'll never know unless you ask.

*Find a co-captain to help you. You can then share the work

*Attend our Team Captain Meetings. They are both helpful and important. If you cant attend a meeting send a team member in your place.

*You can Help us double the number of online participants today by putting your team online! I cannot stress enough how important this is. It makes recruiting and fundraising so easy! Just go to Join Bloomfield's Fight against Cancer . Once there, you can design your own page with your photo and send emails asking others to join you in the fight. A friend or colleague can make a donation to your team in less than one minute – and every dollar counts

Another important piece of your team is fundraising. Individual and Team Fundraisers help us achieve our goals to raise money for lifesaving research, education, advocacy and patient services! We encourage every participant to raise $100 in order to participate, get an event t-shirt and stay overnight at the event. But don’t worry! It’s not hard! The American Cancer Society is here to help you!

Last event I raised over $1,000. I did that by: Fundraising at work, sending out mass emails & facebook posts, selling sign sponsorships to people i know that own a business. Selling luminaria bags which make the track at 10 pm a beautifully emotional event that you want to be a part of.

The reason I relay may not be the reason you relay. But every person in this room, in this world actually has been touched in one way or another by cancer. Whether it be their own person battle, a friend or relative.

I love my dad, more than words could ever express. But as we all know actions speak louder than words. My actions should speak volumes because i am determined to help find a cure so no one ever has to suffer or watch a family member suffer the way my family watched my dad.

Every step i take is in my dad's memory & every dollar raised brings us one step closer to a cure! Please join us in this fight

07/14/2011

Life is filled with so many beautiful things that we all tend to take for granted on a daily basis. I asked a friend what I should write about, she said second chances. I like it. We all tend to look past a second chance or think it’s too good to be true. So many times we just let them pass us by. When a second chance can in actuality be a life changing event...if you let it be. A positive one at that. Break ups & Divorces happen all the time now it seems. Such a heart breaking experience for all especially when kids are involved. Sometimes the pain causes people to forget why they got divorced or broke up to begin with. Their hurt makes them just want to run back to where they where with that person and act like nothing happened. Everything happens for a reason. You made the choice you did for a reason. Believe in yourself, your choice, your second chance at things. Not just in break ups & divorces in everything in life. Second chances are always all around us.

Other times we are so scarred & scared by something/someone from our past that we can’t help but think the worst of the future. Worry and fret about what is to come. Or what we could have done to prevent the way things turned out. It’s not our fault it's just how our mind works we cant help the thoughts that flow through. Times like this you have to sometimes literally force yourself to take a second chance. Remind yourself that you deserve this second chance & you deserve to be happy. You deserve to move away from your past, not forget your past because your past is exactly what made you who you are today. Strong and wonderful. Able to take a leap of faith and believe in why this chance is happening. Step to the side for a second and look in on your current life. Look at all the positives. Shield the negatives for a minute because no matter what you do or think everyone has negatives such is life. Is your life really so scary? Yes it might be but take a chance on yourself, trust in yourself that the decisions you’re making are what is best for you now... today. Not the choices you made 10 years ago or the ones you'll make in 10 years. Worry about the here and now. Tomorrow isn't promised. Take advantage of the here and now.

Today my cousin's status on face book was: "Ever wonder what your life might be like had you done one thing differently?" Fair enough question- honestly, who hasn’t wondered that same thing time & time again. Some of us more than others. Then we try our hardest to prevent our loved ones from doing something differently. It's probably true that most times we are thinking these thoughts, we're not happy with how something is going in our lives. Or just straight up wondering what it could have been like. No matter what we do in life we'll always have what if's, because with every choice we make there will always be a way we didn’t choose. Life almost always offers an alternative. You just have to remember that you chose what you chose for a reason at the time you made that choice. Everything in life happens for a reason. True enough sometimes that answer isn’t enough. But currently there's not a time machine to go back and change things. Even if there was a time machine, who's to say that the one thing you go back to do differently wouldn’t make things turn out just the same or worse.

Take advantage of today and the choices you make. If second chances come along take them. If you make a mistake learn from it. Value everyday and live everyday to the fullest. Until next time...*Live*Laugh*Love*Learn*

07/10/2011

Saw a picture today. It's so crazy to me how a simple picture can bring back so many memories. Scary part is I mean a picture I've never seen before or don't even know where it came from. A new random picture of a thing~ activity ~person~saying or anything really. Can trigger so many things. That you thought where buried deep. Forgotten even. Yet apparently they weren't. And you don't even mind the feelings the pictures have created. You reminisce & go over the past in your mind or that time & place when you got that item. Or when the activity took place.

Isn't it funny how your memory works? I once read "Memory's a fickle thing. And sometimes we're doomed to repeat the things we've forgotten." I wonder if it's that we're doomed or destined for things to be repeated? Would either way make it easier to understand? Could you even prevent it if you tried? I think certain things in like are 100% destined to happen no matter which what you do about it. I think sometimes there is a thin line between whether you feel doomed or destined about the things that happen. Other times we look at things as being doomed and it takes years to figure out they where destined.

Everybody sees things 2 ways. Your way & their way- right or wrong- happy or sad- good or bad. Stray or stay- smile or cry. Walk or swim- fly or drive. Half full or half empty. Doomed or destined. Really just depends on the person that's seeing it. Somethings in life aren't always as simple as the seem. A person may smile on the outside but be broken apart on the inside. And you would never know. Life isn't always what it seems. As the old saying goes "you should never judge a book by it's cover". It's so true because you really never now how wonderful or awful the inside could be. Until next time... *Live*Laugh*Love*Learn*

07/06/2011

Everybody sees things differently. It's not always about wrong & right. Sometimes people see things in a different light. When I write it's all what I see in my eyes. I know to some the things I say make no sense. Or you just can't see past Yourself for a minute to look into me being me. Put aside my grammar errors & listen to what I say.
It's funny how everyone has a different view. Even funnier how it's so easy to forget the charade & true colors shine through. Life's obstacles shouldn't always be viewed one way. Things come in all shapes & sizes depends on the day.
Different circumstances make you see things another way. Would you do tomorrow what you do today? If tomorrow it turns out another way?yep it's ok go back & reread what I just had to say.
My eyes change colors, some days there green, some hazel some mixed. Everyday is an option to see another way. Simply because it's a different day. Try not to let your vision cloud & keep your eyes open. Or you just may miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime. Until next time... *Live*Laugh*Love*Learn*

07/01/2011

I’m helping create more birthdays is what my Relay for life email said once I registered Tony's Angels. It’s true I guess, although I never looked at it that way until I read the email. I just signed up for my 7th Relay for Life event with the American Cancer Society.

My first one took place June of 2006. The year my dad was diagnosed with cancer & passed away from cancer. When my job first decided to sign up to be a team I was all in. Dad was going to walk as a survivor. It was January when he was diagnosed. I believe March when he said sure “Dor, I’ll definitely walk with you. I can do it.” Although he passed away April 23, 2006 just 4 months after being diagnosed he is still with me during every step I take.

Every relay I put my heart & soul into, all 3 ½ marathons I have done. Pops is with me every step of the way. Jan 2006 I was driving with my friends in my dad’s explorer. I loved that truck. It was snowing & I was driving down Bloomfield ave when my cell phone rang & it said Grandma. At that point in time my grandma & I didn’t talk that often, she certainly didn’t call to just chit chat. My heart dropped I looked at my best friend in the passenger seat & pulled over. I instantly knew something was wrong. Grandma said Dad was in the hospital & they think its cancer. At this point there was just the bump on his back. The bump was the size of a tennis ball & frankly instead of going to the hospital all he wanted to do was have a beer first. That’s dad.

So I called my older brother & told him what was going on. Asked him to meet me at the hospital. At first we didn’t know what to think. Dad was good at exaggerating things. Needless to say he wasn’t exaggerating. After numerous test & lots of scans they determined he had 5 tumors through out his body. They said the one on his back was benign so they removed it. At the time we knew nothing about these things. Now I wish they never cut him open. Maybe that is why in 4 months he was taking away. The cancer took over my dad. He became some one that was hard to recognize. As you sit & watch all of these things take place, you simply feel helpless. How is it that he has to suffer through all this & I can’t do a thing to take his pain away or make it easier for him?

Four months he spent in & out of the hospital. Mostly in the hospital. My family & I spent a lot of time there. To the point where I now to this day cant drive in a parking garage without working myself up. Since it was a daily routine for me. From the day he got sick till the day he passed. I forced my brother to tell my dad is was ok to die… I think he still hates me for making him do that. That day was horrible for all of us. So many of us stood there holding his hands & watching as he took his last breath. I didn’t want to tell my dad it was ok to die either, but it wasn’t about me anymore. He needed to know it was ok to leave us that we’d be ok.

Sometimes I don’t exactly feel like I am ok. Some days I sit & cry wondering why. Other days I throw my all into fundraising & raising awareness of cancer. Because yes, almost everyone knows that cancer exists. Yet if your one of the lucky ones that has never been affected by this disease and never watched someone suffer from it. You can never truly understand why I will NEVER give up until they find a cure.

Don’t get me wrong I am not naïve about the fact that there are a lot of other sicknesses out there. That also need to find cures for. I myself have Lupus & fibromyalgia. But for me… this is where my heart is. This is the cause that I have dedicated myself to. Almost everyone has been touched by cancer in one way or another. Not everyone is affected the same way. I still smoked for 3 years after my dad passed its how I handled it. Now I’m cigarette free for the last 3 years. If you or someone you know is interested in getting involved check out my website for the relay. Here’s my personal fundraising web page http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11National?px=9738462&pg=personal&fr_id=41510 . Check it out if you’d like. In the mean time I will continue to spread the word about helping to create more birthdays. And I will continue to write about whatever strikes my fancy on the particular day I chose to write. Always remember no matter how hard life gets “smile through the tears”-djv Until next time…*Live*Laugh*Love*Learn*