The View from Up Here

February 11th 2011 is 'Hug a Tall Person' Day... seriously! (someone with a calendar has wa-a-ay too much time on their hands). More about this 'day' here.

In response to the ECR Big Breakfast Blog on Tall Women (9/10/2010), I respectfully submit my view from "up here":

I am 6'2", or 5'14" or 188cm. According to statistics, that is above-average for a man… but I am of the fairer sex (a Mom that Matters!). There is a definitely a distinct advantage to being tall and that is that I can save on visits to the hairdresser – not many people get to see the top of my head as the roots grow out.

But being tall is not as glamorous as it may seem to those who do not need oxygen masks as the air gets thinner up here. “Oh you should be a model, you’re so tall” is a comment I hear often (please note that this career is suggested way too often because of my height, not because I’m gorgeous!). For the record, Elle MacPherson, The Body, is only 6’0" (183cm). She is a short-arse. My jeans would drag on the ground for her. Shame.

Other career choices not suitable for me include: Air Hostess? I hit my head on the TV screens that hang along the passage. Would you like chicken or meat?… kerklunk.

Basketball? I can bounce a ball OR run. I do not have the co-ords to do both.

Dancer? By the time I hear the beat and tell my feet to move, the beat is gone and I am totally out of sync, like I’ve been electrocuted.

Speaking of a great night out that ended up with dancing on the table top.. My suggestion is not to do this if you’re 6’2” or you will be injured. And don’t try and blend in after you whack your head on a light fitting, because if you’re an Amazon – you will always be remembered from that night as the “tall chick who knocked herself out”. But of course, this is a completely theoretical situation...

Speaking of parties, have you any idea what it’s like to be in a social gathering when you are ‘tall’? Next time you are wondering, get your hands on one of those little stepladders that normal people use in shops to reach products on the top shelf, right.. now stand on that and try to have a conversation with someone. What? I can’t hear you?

For those girls who complain that they always have to have their pants/jeans taken up. Ha! I wish. One day I found a pair of extra-extra-EXTRA length jeans. I bought 7 pairs. So when you see me, please don’t think that I am wearing the same pair of jeans every day – it’s just the same style every day.

And being 'tall' means I have big feet. I figure that this makes sense – if I had the dainty little tootsies then I would fall over. But just out of interest, the next time you are at a shoe store, look for a size 9. You’ll see pink, blue, high heels, sling-back, ozone-friendly, fat free… every single possible style of shoe up to a size 8. Size 9 are shoes are like the perfect child – I have heard about them, but rarely see them.

So here’s a tip if you want to get your hands on a pair of clodhoppers (and yes, I will fight you for them!) – offer to help the store assistant unpack when a new range comes in. If you are in the right store at the right time, you just may be lucky enough get your hands on the only size 9 that has been ordered for the province. But now, assuming that a size 9 foot means a tall chick – then why oh why do shoe manufacturers insist on limiting me to styles with high heels? Are they stupid? Do I really want another 4” onto my height?

As far as the health of a tall person - again, we have issues that normal people don't.... I am convinced that I am at a higher risk of being eaten by sharks – my legs hang down lower than other people’s. If I was a shark, I’d take the easy option.

PS: I have subsequently discovered that Froggie has an awesome range of size 9 and 10 (!!!!) shoes in their new Summer range. Yee ha! Now, if I could just reach my toes to give myself a pedicure...