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Monday, July 21, 2014

Emotionally Mature Parenting

Parenting is, and always has been, a difficult job. This is
especially the case today since kids more than ever need a wholesome upbringing
in order to be successful and happy. Our kids have very few resources to gain
such a wholesome upbringing if it isn’t for parents stepping up to the plate.

We all remember
when our children were growing up. We were down on our knees, holding out our
arms, encouraging our children to take their first steps. When our child fell
or stumbled, we didn’t shout, spank or reprimand. We simply smiled, soothed,
and encouraged. In other words, we motivated our child to succeed as much as
possible.

Then our child got
older and suddenly our attitudes started changing. We may have started getting
mad and snapping for little misdemeanors. Then as they approach their teen
years, we may have gotten even more upset at them to the point where we may
even be mean to them.One may wonder,
what happened to all of the encouraging and open love that we showed our teens
during childhood?

In order to bring
up our teens, in a wholesome and emotionally mature manner, we should try to recapture
some of that positive attitude that we had towards them when they were young so
that we could raise confident, self-disciplined and happy teenagers. Sometimes,
our own beliefs get in the way of emotionally mature parenting. Here are a few
ways to fine tune our parenting skills so that we can become more emotionally
mature parents.

1.Practise
joyfulness. We should give our teens the sense that life is meant to be
enjoyed, not just gotten through. A sense of joy brings a sense of aliveness
and vitality. And this will help our teens to become joyful and happy adults.

2.Instill a
sense of peace and well-being within the family. Parents can establish a
positive environment or climate by creating a sense of serenity and encouraging
positive feelings and behaviors over negative ones. Peace overcomes fear,
insecurity, and other negative emotions. Once a teen experiences peace, she
will carry that feeling with her right into adulthood.

3.Practise
patience. Patience is the ability to stay grounded in tough situations and put
up with difficult people. Parenting is a tough job and teens can be difficult
to tolerate sometimes. But by practising patience in the home, teens will be
patient with their siblings and peers as well.

4.Practise kindness.
Kindness is a mellowness and sweetness in one’s attitude. Kindness is the
opposite or chafing, irking, and galling. Teens need to be the natural
receivers of daily acts of kindness. Kindness dispensed on a daily basis can
become the antidote for cynicism or a mean spirit. Try to practise random acts
of kindness with teens. Then as our teen grows up, she’ll be able to show
others such random acts of kindness as well.

5.Practise
generosity. Generosity requires that we possess a warm-spirited nature and to practise
kindness. By generosity, I don’t imply a vision of dollar signs dancing in the
minds of teens. What I mean is a generous spirit. A generous parent has a
spirit of forbearance, forgiveness, and understanding. For instance, parents can
be generous with teens by spending time with them and enjoying activities
together.

6.Exercise
integrity. A parent with integrity has a consistent behavior pattern under all
circumstances and in all places. To have integrity is to be a whole person. A
person with integrity is like a solid piece of linoleum—she is the same all the
time and all over. Once we demonstrate
integrity in the home, our teens will emulate it too.

7.Show
gentleness towards our teens. To be gentle is to be considerate. In order for teens
to learn how to be considerate, parents have to model gentleness in the home on
a daily basis. There is an old word that captures the meaning of gentleness—meekness.
To be meek means to channel raw energy, power, and ability in the service of
goodness and wellness. We have to teach meekness to their teens.

8.Practise self-control.
This is the ultimate parenting virtue. When parents practise self-control, they
are in charge of their own volatile emotions and don’t allow anger to cloud
their judgment. The most important discipline in the world for parents has
nothing to do with making teens behave. On the contrary, it is to teach our teens
to act a certain way by our example. Only when parents are under control are we
capable of being in charge. Self-control can lead to self-discipline, and this
will help our teens become self-disciplined too.

By trying to practice and emulate these emotional traits and
attitudes towards our teens, they will be encouraged to become mature human
beings in adult life. So, it is up to us to try and foster these virtues in our
teens. But first we have to demonstrate
emotional maturity ourselves in the family.

PLEASE NOTE

*Stories for Children Publishing, LLC. (SFC) and its divisions do not receive any compensation for product reviews beyond a sample and/or limited access to a paid website. SFC donates all books sent for review to a charitable organization. SFC may do a contest or giveaway of samples we receive.