Dear Lola – Cheer turned chore…

Dear Lola,

Now that Christmas is over, I have a question about etiquette. An older relative chastised my generation for not writing thank you cards for each of the gifts we received at the holidays. I know that a thank you note is typical when you receive a gift, but surely these relatives understand that there are many gifts given at the holidays and it’s hard to track each and every one of them. I also am expected to watch what each of my children opens on Christmas day and keep a list in order to write these notes later. I say that is absurd! A telephone thank you is more than sufficient.

What do you think?

Sincerely, Cheer Turned Chore

Dear Cheer Turned Chore,

Sometimes I wonder how humans have survived this long with so many rules governing their every behavior. Canines have one rule for interacting with each other – sniff the butt end to determine if you’ve previously met. Once you’ve done that, you can interact in any manner that doesn’t lead to one of you needing a doctor.

It’s ironic that niceties cause humans such angst.

Normally I would advise you to carry on with thanking people in the way that you prefer to thank them. After all, the important thing is that you actually thanked the person. However, in this particular case, I think you need to cave and write a note or two.

Stay calm, I’ll clarify that statement for you in a moment.

Write a thank you note to the relatives that it means so much to. In case that was too subtle, I’m talking about the old people in your life. The young people don’t actually care how you say thank you, though 98% of them prefer a text message. Especially if you add a funny GIF that accurately conveys how much they mean to you.

I love any GIF with canines running with their butts wriggling all over.

You didn’t mention how old your Miniature Humans were, but if they are old enough to grasp a crayon then they should be contributing to the thank you cards. It’s never too early to teach them that society will collapse if they don’t correctly respond to every social situation for the rest of their life.

♥Lola♥

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I love the idea of writing thank you notes. Though, typically the presents get opened in person and the thank you happens right away – face to face. But, it’s a great excuse to encourage little ones to practice their writing 😊 Thanks for being a brilliant #dreamteam host xx

I do you typically encourage people to write thank you notes, but Christmas is already a stressful holiday. And unlike a birthday, you are writing many more thank you notes because the entire family is getting gifts.

It saddens me that the art of writing is going in so many ways and the disappearance of thank you cards does not make me smile. Having said that I am loving your canine sniff the but and interact as you wish after that. Reminds me of my new community in some ways! #DreamTeam

Lola and I are advocates of a thank you note for every holiday or a gift received, except for Christmas. It is much too chaotic to try to control each person opening gifts while you write down what they are.

I am lucky, as is my little one, of having a birthday very soon after Christmas. So we get to wait a little while and send a ‘joint’ thank you for Christmas and Birthday card. Bish bash bosh. #DreamTeam

Oh I’ve missed you Lola whilst I was taking a break over Xmas. I totally agree with you – too many rules, too many yays or nays on etiquette. Let’s just take it easy and stop trying to people-please all the time x #DreamTeam

It is like a constant stream of writing cards over the festive period: Christmas cards, then Thank you cards and before you know it the birthday cards start again for another year… I do like to get a thank you in one form or another though! Even a text will do! X #DreamTeam

We let the digital generation receive texts and messages as thank you letters but the grandparents and great aunts and uncles still have to have the old snail mail post, they are not into modern and still see a phone call as lazy!

Lola I am right there with you about the human race. It really does fascinate me sometimes how we have managed to survive this long. As for the etiquette though, this doesn’t apply to me or anyone I know. I’ve never sent thank you cards and I never will. If you can’t accept my personal, in person thank you then don’t give me or my kids any gifts next time. It’s such a huge waste of time, paper and money for that matter to be sending out silly thank you notes to every single person who bought gifts for my kids. That’s just ridiculous. Of course, none of my family and friends expect one either. #AnythingGoes

Wow we don’t do this in Ireland (at least I hope everyone else isn’t doing this and I just didn’t realise – that is extremely possible by the way), but all of a sudden I am feeling like a bad person! We just say thank you in person and that is it. Are we a bit of a lazy bunch?? Now you have planted the seed of thought in my mind Lola I am considering going out and getting some cards, or at the very least making sure I enforce this delightful ritual next year (like I don’t have enough to do…!) So thank you for this and p.s. my husband would love to live by your rules – getting to interact in any way you like as long as it doesn’t require a doctor….. no comment! #dreamteam

Don’t start writing thank you cards, they will be expected for everything after that! They were very common here in the US but have fallen off a bit. They are now seen as a very formal thank you, reserved for professional relationships or the older generation. I have sent out thank you cards to my peers, but I rarely have ever received one.

I do torture my kids into thank you notes, as I was in my childhood! We just write thank you for my present, as we can’t keep a track as to who got what and usually their homemade cards, so it’s at least keeping them our of mischief! I do however think it doesn’t matter whether it’s a written (any form) or verbal thank you, as it’s a thank you!

Oh Lola… thank you cards are the bain of my life and have been at the centre of rows with my in laws. It is exhausting living by the rules of others so I just don’t!! However, I do love a Christmas round up letter and a card so do thank your humans for getting that letter all the way from the US xx

Lola, your wisdom knows no bounds. Thank you notes are just as much for the writer as they are for the receiver. We need to stop and be grateful, and no one expects eloquence from kids. Just a hand drawn picture and a few words are sufficient from the very young. And older kids need to learn how to set up a letter and address an envelope in order to function well.
Making a party of it by doing my own thank you’s and having stickers and fun pens (and snacks!! always snacks!!) takes the sting off.

I love thank you notes and just random notes throughout the year. But I think that Christmas can be stressful enough without adding one more thing to the day. I can’t even remember what I bought for Hubster, so remembering what everyone else bought me is just a stretch.

I remember my mum making us write thank you notes after Christmas to all our aunts and grandmother and it was a real chore then. Now I recognise the importance of receiving a thank you but I’m still not great at the notes, I prefer to make a phone call and it’s always lovely to have a long distance catch-up chat to the older members of our family now. You’re right that teaching our kids gratitude and good manners is the fundamental issue! #blogcrush

I’m 47, I opened my presents, took a photo of the gift and card and then wrote my thank you notes in the following days, I was lucky to even get an acknowledgement back for the gifts I’d given, in fact several people haven’t even said thank you over facebook, but hey ho #globalblogging