Community & Current Events

Christmas -- your way

Often the hardest part about choosing an alternative Christmas is telling your extended family you won't be joining them this year. In case you want to take the plunge, we found some wise advice on making that dreaded phone call home that will ease the way for everyone.

"I won't be home for Christmas" is excerpted from Lifescripts for Family and Friends by Erik Kolbell. Copyright 2002 by Third Millennium Press, Erik Kolbell and Stephen M. Pollan. Excerpted, with permission by Pocket Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

StrategyThere are three factors that can make this script prove either a piece of cake or tough sledding. First, the better your reason for not coming home, the less difficult it will be for your family to accept your decision. If - as I have suggested here - you and your spouse are simply too exhausted to make the trip and you've decided to stay at home for a little R&R, chances are a reasonable family will understand. If, on the other hand, you've decided to go out on a blind date instead of sitting at the family's annual Thanksgiving dinner table, be prepared for some fireworks. Second, the meaning your family ascribes to the particular holiday will figure in how intensely they react. Labor Day, for instance, might not be as big a deal as, say, Christmas or Passover. Finally, your load will be lighter if you can propose an occasion after the holiday season when you all might get together, reinforcing your affection for them.

Tactics• Attitude: Show this isn't an easy decision for you; that you truly enjoy the holidays at home, but this year something simply had to give.

• Preparation: If possible, speak to your siblings first and see if they will support your decision. They may be easier to persuade than your parents. Also, think of when after the holidays you might be able to visit your family and be prepared to suggest this.

• Timing: Do this at a time when you've been attentive to your family (phone calls, visits, etc.) as opposed to a time when you've been out of touch for a while. Also, do it as far in advance of the holiday as possible.

• Behavior: Don't be apologetic for a decision you've made of your own free will. By the same token, don't be defiant, as though you dare them to find fault with your decision. Stress that you see this as a necessity, and you hope they'll understand. Also, don't rise to the bait of sarcasm or veiled anger. Stay cool.

Decor & Renovation

Outdoor Christmas lights: 5 rules for lighting your home for the holidays

Buy more lights than you think you'll need Gauging how many strands of lights you'll need to run across a roofline seems simple enough—until the roof's peaks come into play. To get a rough estimate, Arthur will measure the length of the façade, then add at least two-thirds more. "You'll probably be over, but that will give you enough lights to go up and down most peaks," he says. For window calculations, first
measure the height and width of a window, then double the sum of those lengths.

Pull the plug on incandescent lightbulbs Treat yourself to an early Christmas present and swap your old-school incandescent lights for LEDs. These long-lasting alternatives will not only pay for themselves in saved kilowatt hours but also prove to be a versatile investment, thanks to recent innovations. "Some of the new LED lighting systems can change colour, which is great for someone who wants a different look every year," says Arthur.

Camouflage the cords The
ideal holiday lighting scheme makes an impact at night but disappears by day—and that means paying attention to more than just the bulbs. "If you're going to string lights up against a white eaves trough, choose lights with a white cord," Arthur suggests. Similarly, when stringing lights in evergreen trees and shrubs, Arthur reaches for green cords that will blend in with surrounding branches.

Take a shine to projection Projection lights, the season's biggest trend in outdoor illumination, create the effect of hundreds of twinkling strands with one crucial difference: There's only one light source. "For anybody who is concerned about being up on a ladder or has put off decorating until two feet of snow has fallen, projection lights are the way to go," Arthur says.

Accentuate good architecture The first step in Arthur's outdoor lighting strategy is to identify the best features of a home's façade. "Instead of trying to light every single surface—which will end up looking like the Griswolds' in Christmas Vacation—focus on strong architectural details," says Arthur. "It could be a bay window, gingerbread trim or even a really nice peak—anything that's worth drawing the eye." After highlighting these focal points, you might have the urge to light the house from left to right. Don't. "There's nothing worse than getting halfway across the
front of the house and realizing there's no way you can continue the way you started," says Arthur. Instead, build outward from those illuminated architectural features in manageable, balanced sections.

Innovative outdoor lighting options:

No more knots No matter how neatly you pack them away after the holidays, string lights have an infuriating habit of weaving themselves into the most diabolical knots. The single-cord design of Noma's "tangle-free" LED lights eliminates this seasonal stressor entirely.

Let it snow The weather outside might be frightful, but it's no match for these fabulous faux candles. Designed to withstand the elements, they're ideally suited for a vignette of festive lanterns on the front porch. The best part? They come with a remote control so you can fire up the flickering LEDs without setting foot outdoors.

How to save on lighting If you're starting from scratch, the cost of new lights, clips and extension cords can easily add up to $750. Follow these thrifty tricks to soften the blow to your
holiday budget.

This projection light has a built-in lens defroster to melt snow and ice. Noma Starlight Laser projector, from $150, canadiantire.ca.

Flood the façade Properly situated, white floodlights can create as much impact as an elaborate series of strands. For a diffused effect,
outdoor design expert Carson Arthur recommends setting them two feet from the house. Or go for a projection light, which covers a wide area with a single unit.

Invest in timers Although LEDs may put less of a burden on your hydro bill, you can save even more by regulating their use with a timer—a function that's frequently built into new lighting systems. "I generally set the lights to turn off at 1 a.m.," says Arthur. "I think that's plenty of holiday spirit!"
Limit lights to one vignette Instead of illuminating the whole home, string lights on a single Christmas tree displayed on the front porch. "It's a perfect little ‘moment' that greets guests at the front door, and it's a great way to enjoy a real Christmas tree without bringing the needles inside," says Arthur.

Beauty

Secret Santa gifts (you'll want to keep!) at every price

It should be easy, but sometimes finding a gift within a certain price range that is still thoughtful can be difficult. Let us help.

Finding the perfect Secret Santa gift is more difficult than it seems. First, if you're buying for someone specific, you want to gift to be thoughtful—but that can be difficult if you only have a limited budget. And that's the thing about the budget—you need the gift to be less than, but close to, your budget (whether it's self-imposed or part of a larger secret santa mandate). Plus, sometimes you don't know who your secret Santa is! And shopping for a mystery person means you need to get something that will appeal to pretty much everyone.

Secret Santa gifts (you'll want to keep!) at every price

Under $10

This item combines two of our favourite things—the Toronto Blue Jays and lapel pins! Not a sports fan? Luckily there are plenty of lapel pin options to make sure you find the right one for your giftee.