Flotsam and Jetsam for May 27, 2009

Wednesday

May 27, 2009 at 2:00 AM

It looks like York's Wild Kingdom will remain ...; well, York's Wild Kingdom, as a result of developer Oscar Plotkin withdrawing his proposal. And the Walgreens folks are starting to sound iffy ("maybe next year"). If this keeps up, maybe there's still hope for York.

Jim Carter

It looks like York's Wild Kingdom will remain ...; well, York's Wild Kingdom, as a result of developer Oscar Plotkin withdrawing his proposal. And the Walgreens folks are starting to sound iffy ("maybe next year"). If this keeps up, maybe there's still hope for York.

Making the world a better place: A special design team at North Carolina State University has announced that they are working on a better hospital gown — one that would not only be practical for hospital staff, but would also prevent patients from revealing too much of themselves. This must be tricky — they don't promise results in less than two years — but it would surely be a service to mankind.

When officer Clay Hamilton was transferred from the police department in Richmond, Va., to the one in Petersburg, he met and became friends with a younger officer by the name of Chris Walker. It's a long story, but the short version is that as they got to know more about each other, they made several interesting discoveries, among them that they're actually father and son (and yes, they even look alike).

Cereal giant Kellogg is apparently feeling the wrath of legions of pot smokers who advocate the legalization of marijuana after the company cut ties with Olympic hero Michael Phelps, whose sin was being photographed with a pot pipe. Their question: How come the company took no action when he got a DUI conviction? (Good question.)

Please don't feed the animals: That's the message issued by the state of Wisconsin, where someone has been leaving peanuts around the capitol building for the hungry little squirrels. They explained that many children tour the place regularly, and some might try to steal some for themselves and find out the hard way that they're allergic to nuts. (How did we survive before the government protected us from ourselves?)

Police in Stockholm are looking for the three men who beat up and robbed Hideki Kaji, who at the time was on location making a music video. The camera crew had taken a break, leaving Kaji all alone with about $2,500 worth of video and audio recording equipment. That must have been tempting ...; or maybe it was just the fact that Kaji was dressed up as a pineapple.

The trustees overseeing the liquidation of Bernard Madoff's assets are leaving no stone unsold. They put two tickets to a Mets game owned by his "investment" firm — Section 11, Row 8, seats 5 and 6 — up for auction on eBay and collected $2,325 (maybe enough to pay off his shoeshine bill).

Fighting obesity ...; sorta: Two years ago, the Oregon State Legislature, responding to pressure from parents, passed a law banning the sale of junky, sugary and fatty foods in public schools. So far, so good. This year, responding to pressure from teachers, they voted to exempt "employee" areas. (Do as I say ...; not as I do.)

Another police impersonator: Josh Kay, 30, recently got nailed when he turned on his siren and flashing roof lights (on his personal vehicle) and tried to stop a speeder in Madison, Wis. As luck would have it, the speeder happened to be an off-duty police officer (oops, a real one).

Our declining civilization: Police in Milwaukee have come up with a brilliant idea for cutting down on the number of people being robbed when they withdraw money from an ATM. They're installing the machines in three of their police stations. Ditto Chicago. (How far are we from going back to wearing six-guns?)

Chief Paul Henry of the New Castle, Pa., Fire Department, recently reported that the fire that damaged an abandoned school building there was probably started when the resident four-foot-long alligator knocked over a portable heater, thus removing suspicion from the 70 (estimated) rabbits and unspecified "aquatic animals" also in residence. (Yeah, the alligator always gets the blame).

Remember — when you see someone without a smile, give him one of yours.

— JEC

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