Q. When is a billion equal to zero?
A. When you're explaining to your mother that you have a billion things to do before you can start work on your math homework.

NOT WELL-ORDERED
If a ham sandwich is better than nothing and nothing is better than Life, itself, does that mean that a ham sandwich is better than Life itself?

FRACTIONS OVER EASY
Did you know that 5 out of every 4 people have a problem with fractions?

EXPONENTIAL GROWTH
I have been dabbling with statistics for many years. As a matter of fact, the first time I became quite annoyed with statistics was the day I turned 2 (that's how far back I go with number crunching).
For you see, the day I turned 2 I realized that in one year my age doubled, which led me to conclude that by the time I was 7 I'd really be 64!!!

Q: What does a mathematicians answer, when you ask him/her if (s)he wants
the window open or closed?
A: Yes.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems
Alfréd Rényi (Hungarian mathematician, 1921-1970)