Toilet

Oh, crap! Here's a sight you don't want to see in a restaurant. Workers at a Mexican restaurant in Vero Beach called the cops about a drunken customer who refused to get up from a coveted seat in the place - the toilet, according to a recently released arrest affidavit, reports Will Greenlee in his Off the Beat blog for TCPalm.com in Stuart. Turns out the dude, James Raymond, was snoozing on the seat with his pants down. After being escorted out of the restaurant Raymond then dropped his shorts by the patrol car. "He had no underwear on and his buttocks and penis were exposed," an affidavit states.

Guess kids have imaginary friends -- and meth-heads must have imaginary enemies. A newspaper delivery person dialed 911 to report a trio, later identified as Matthew Tyler McDaniel, 30; Damian Joseph Hines, 21, and Madison Star Douglas, 18, were yelling for help from a second floor of a residence saying they had been shot, records show, reports WMBB ABC News-13 in Panama City. The woman told deputies a knife broke while someone stabbed her in the stomach. The three armed themselves, firing weapons and throwing a toilet, sink and other stuff out the window on their 'attackers,' deputies stated.

Broward County residents who live in homes with outdated, water-guzzling toilets may be eligible for up to $100 in rebates toward the purchase of water-efficient commodes. If your home was built before 1994, your toilet may be an older model that uses more than 1.6 gallons of water per flush. The Broward Water Partnership, a collaboration of local governments, has provided more than $344,000 in rebates to replace about 3,700 of those inefficient toilets and save about 165 million of gallons of water annually.

Jack Miller caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror a few years ago, wearing a blue LED necklace. Naturally, he thought: "This should be in my toilet. " Not because he didn't like it, but because the 62-year-old bathroom designer thought that lighting up the toilet bowl would make those nighttime trips a little easier. Or, as he puts it now, the light would "give men a clear target and women a safe landing. " Before long, Miller had a prototype for "See2pee," a battery-operated light that hooks to the toilet bowl and illuminates when someone walks within 8 feet.

Guess kids have imaginary friends -- and meth-heads must have imaginary enemies. A newspaper delivery person dialed 911 to report a trio, later identified as Matthew Tyler McDaniel, 30; Damian Joseph Hines, 21, and Madison Star Douglas, 18, were yelling for help from a second floor of a residence saying they had been shot, records show, reports WMBB ABC News-13 in Panama City. The woman told deputies a knife broke while someone stabbed her in the stomach. The three armed themselves, firing weapons and throwing a toilet, sink and other stuff out the window on their 'attackers,' deputies stated.

A Boca Raton woman was charged after allegedly stuffing a $1,795 purse down a Bloomingdale's toilet and then shoplifting from Macy's, police said. Mercedes Jade Reed-Vaughn, 18, visited the Boca Raton Town Center mall on Tuesday, according to a Boca Raton police arrest report. A Bloomingdales staffer spotted a woman exiting a bathroom stall, police said. The Bloomingdales employee found a $1,795 Chloe handbag stuffed into the bowl, police said. Another Bloomingdales employee followed Reed-Vaughn to Macy's.

What might be called a comedy of errors began after a pilot accidentally locked himself in the bathroom as his plane was preparing to land at New York's LaGuardia airport, the New York Post reported. It turns out that the well-meaning passenger who heard the pilot struggling with the jammed lavatory door had a thick accent and caused suspicion when he tried to alert the flight crew through the locked cockpit door, the paper reported. The stuck pilot was eventually able to extricate himself from the bathroom.

Dear Heloise: A while back I read one of your articles concerning the tank on the commode sweating. We moved, and we have the problem now. Could you help me with it? - Cindy Reed, Ashdown, Ark. Dear Cindy: If you cover the toilet tank with heavy-duty aluminum foil, it will help reduce the condensation that drips on the floor. Just wrap the foil tight, folding the bottom edge under the tank and tucking the top under the lid. Mildew may form under the foil if not checked every so often, so take a peek at least once a week.

Dear Steve: Should dogs drink from the toilet? - E.W., Indianapolis Dear E.W.: It's a disgusting habit, and it's unhealthy. Dr. Sheldon Rubin of Chicago, author of Practical Guide to Dog Care (Publications International, Lincolnwood, Ill., 1995; $4.95), says a dog may catch a contagious bacterial disease. For example, salmonella can be spread through human stool. Cleaning agents and/or additives to toilet water could cause stomach upset. The amount of water a pet drinks may be a symptom of illness.

Folks have many ways to show somebody they're full of it. Hopefully, they won't flip their lids, as in a toilet lid, to make thie point. Norris Troutman, of Fort Pierce, allegedly told a deputy that he hit his uncle, 48, with a toilet seat lid because the uncle had been mocking him, reports Will Greenlee in his Off the Beat blog for TCPalm.com in Stuart. Perhaps he should have kept a lid on things. Get the DUHtails and arrest affidavit at Will Greenlee's Off the Beat blog at TCPalm.com in Stuart.

Police are searching for a man who allegedly followed a woman into the ladies' bathroom at a Burger King on Sunday morning and pushed her head into a toilet. The man is described as 6 feet tall, in his 20s with a slim build, black hair and wearing a white tank top. Police described the victim as a 5-foot-5 to 5-foot-7 woman in her 20s, weighing 140 to 145 pounds with shoulder-length black hair and wearing a purple shirt. A witness told police she saw the man pushing the woman's head into a toilet in a bathroom stall around 7:30 a.m. Sunday at a Burger King in the 8900 block of Taft Street.

My movement to wipe away sales tax on toilet paper is on a roll. A blogger for Forbes.com has spotlighted my efforts with a blog post, "Flushing Out the Toilet Paper Tax Exemption. " Tax specialist/Forbes contributor Kelly Phillips Erb wrote: "While Mayo's petition [on Change.org] may be a bit cheeky (insert terrible groans here), he does have a point...Mayo pointed out that toilet paper is the perfect candidate to promote sales tax parity. While quality may vary in purchases from the richest to the poorest of Florida's population - everyone buys toilet paper.

I've found my calling for the 2014 legislative session: a campaign to wipe toilet paper sales tax off the rolls. My purpose is two-ply - I mean, two-fold. 1. This gives me a chance to spotlight the absurd inconsistencies of Florida's sales tax system and ask broad public policy questions about what should and shouldn't be exempt. 2. This also allows me limitless possibilities for bad puns and potty humor. Such as, "Here's a movement we can all get behind!" (Eat your heart out, Dave Barry.)

I've found my calling for 2014: a campaign to wipe sales tax on toilet paper off the rolls. For those of you who missed my Sunday print column, I pointed out the absurdities and inconsistencies of Florida's current sales tax system , which exempts high-end things like truffle oil, stone crabs and Super Bowl tickets, but not toilet paper and toothpaste. It doesn't make much sense to me, since the Legislature originally exempted basics like "groceries for human consumption" and medicines when it instituted sales tax in 1949, but never included toiletries.

OK, Florida consumers, time for a quick quiz. Among the store items below, which are exempt from sales tax: a) A $15 bottle of white truffle oil, or b) a 99-cent roll of toilet paper. a) Jumbo stone crabs, or b) a rotisserie chicken. a) Chocolate chips, or b) toothpaste. If you said "a" all three times, you're right. You can gorge on stone crabs bathed in truffle oil and not pay a cent to Tallahassee. But if you have to answer nature's call, sorry, you're spit out of luck.

Dear People's Pharmacy: As a person with AIDS I was very interested in your column about the sanitation of public bathrooms. The idea that bacteria could be spread from flush and tap handles alarmed me, as I am more susceptible to infection than most people. Here are some methods I have come up with to protect myself: 1) Carry alcohol wipes to clean the toilet seat and flush handle before using. 2) Wash your hands just before leaving and use a paper towel to turn off the spigots and open the door.

Dear Heloise: The water tank on my toilet sweats all the time. The moisture drips onto my tile floor and is ruining it. What can be done to correct this problem? - A Reader, Maryland Dear Reader: Condensation usually forms because the water in the toilet tank is colder than the bathroom temperature. You can either lower the heat in your bathroom or cover the tank with heavy-duty aluminum foil. The foil helps minimize the condensation, and any that does form sticks to the foil instead of dripping on your floor.

Broward County residents who live in homes with outdated, water-guzzling toilets may be eligible for up to $100 in rebates toward the purchase of water-efficient commodes. If your home was built before 1994, your toilet may be an older model that uses more than 1.6 gallons of water per flush. The Broward Water Partnership, a collaboration of local governments, has provided more than $344,000 in rebates to replace about 3,700 of those inefficient toilets and save about 165 million of gallons of water annually.

From the outside, it looks like a giant silver freezer. It's 4 feet wide, 8 feet long and 5 feet high, big enough to house a narrow bed, a small sink and a toilet. But can this boxy pod help South Florida's homeless? Two local businessmen think so. Bruce Hicks, owner of Food Truck Heaven in Davie, has constructed a prototype for a mini-shelter on wheels that could be used to provide short-term housing for people who suddenly find themselves homeless or as relief for crowded shelters.