I called Heitner, whose book is subtitled, "Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World" (Bibliomotion) to talk about a National Cyber Security Alliance survey that demonstrates a clear disconnect between parents and kids.

(I'll get to the Facebook permission in a minute.)

Sixty percent of kids ages 13-17 have created online accounts without their parents' knowledge. Thirty-nine percent said they've experienced harassment online, and 48 percent say they "never" or "rarely" turn to their parents for help. Sixty-five percent of parents said their teens are likely to share problems with them "most" or "all of the time."

"It's easy to put an app on your phone that lets you monitor all of your kids' text messages," Heitner said. "But your kid could be in her room crying because of something she saw on Snapchat, and no app can help you understand that situation."

My kids start school next week , which is gut-check time for me — my annual reminder that I won't be physically present for significant chunks of their lives. They need to be able to make good decisions and bounce back from bad ones — their own and other people's — without me standing at the ready. Heitner, who runs digital social skills workshops, said parents often panic when they drop their kids off at college and realize they can no longer keep an eye on their every move.

(My kids are just entering second and fifth grades; I prefer to panic early and often.)

"You need to work backward," she said. "If you're reading your kids' texts at 13, what's your plan to have an independent young adult?"

Here's where the Facebook permission comes in.

Kids are fluent in apps. They find their way around a smartphone with an acumen most adults can only dream of. But parents, Heitner reminds us, have wisdom.

"Because you are in possession of a rich history of social experiences, you can offer the help that technology can't," she writes in "Screenwise."

We remember what it's like to feel left out. We have experience recovering from devastating social flubs. We know remorse.

And we can use that knowledge to teach them about healthy boundaries: what not to share, what not to say, what to do when someone else shares or says something inappropriate.

But first, we need to lead by example.

"Asking them for their permission before sharing a photo of them creates a positive boundary," she said. "It teaches them, 'You can say no to a friend taking or sharing your photo.'"

Every day of their lives is picture day, Heitner maintains. We had to suffer through it once a year as kids (ugh, the braces years), but they live it every day.

"Do you wish there were more pictures of you as a tween?" she writes. "Probably not."

But kids are snapping photos of each other in flattering and not-so-flattering situations. All. The. Time. Parents need to push back on that, Heitner contends, and it starts with asking permission before sharing, which does the following:

"It teaches your child that her image is her own. It helps her recognize that sharing is a choice and that some things are private. Because you showed her that consideration and modeled some respect for her privacy, she'll be more likely to ask before she shares a picture of her friend."

"It teaches good boundaries. It's important for a child to know that she can say no. The very act of asking for permission creates a moment for her to stop and think. This pause is very helpful: We could all benefit from it."

"It teaches empowerment. Posting a photo is now her choice, not yours. It's a wonderful gift, and she'll start to expect the same consideration from her friends."

"It teaches self-control. Social media is part of journaling, recording feelings and celebrating small moments. You don't want to quash that, but you want her to think about the ramifications."

"Parents are having conversations about internet safety, but they're not framing those conversations around identity and friendship, which is a more crucial lens for teenagers," Heitner said. "Most teens want to be good friends and want to be seen as good people."

From here on out, I'm asking permission before I post photos of my kids.

We scoured the social media app to find some of Chicagoland's most adorable — and famous — fur babies. From a partially blind husky named Kaney to a cat named after a duck with more than 10K followers, the Windy City has adorableness from the Gold Coast to Oak Park.

(Lauren Hill)

This weekend, more than a million people across the country took to the streets to protest in the second annual Women's March. The first march in January 2017 protested President Donald Trump's inauguration. This year's march, held on the anniversary of Trump's oath of office, focused on disapproval of his administration and policies. Some events were specifically themed "Power to the Polls" and encouraged people to vote. Here is a look at Women's March signs in Chicagoland and around the U.S.