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In 2011, Stefani Schaefer, her husband, Roger, and children, Siena and Race, spent Christmas vacation on Tunnel Beach on Kauai in Hawaii. This is the spot where she and Roger were married in 1998. Four months after this photo was taken, her husband suffered a catastrophic brain injury as a result of falling off a ladder.
( Stefani Schaefer)

Even though she's in the middle of Friday's "Fox News 8 in the Morning" broadcast, Stefani Schaefer answers her phone. "Hello?"

Intending to leave a message, the newspaper reporter calling her is surprised to hear Schaefer's familiar but hushed voice.

"I always keep the cellphone near me when I'm on the set," Schaefer says, speaking above a whisper. "It could be the hospital calling with news . . . news about Roger. You never know."

They are words that give shape to the last 12 months of Schaefer's life. A year ago this Saturday, her husband, Roger, was injured after falling 12 feet from scaffolding while putting up solar panels at a construction site. He was rushed to Hillcrest Hospital, then flown by helicopter to a Level 1 trauma center with extensive and severe head injuries.

It has been a year etched in stress, sorrow, uncertainty and determination for Schaefer.

"There have been a lot of downs and not a lot of ups," she says. "Through it all, it's hard to breathe because it's hard to relax. At any moment, you can get that phone call, and it's more bad news."

Frequently battling to control her emotions, she understandably struggles to put the ever-swirling pattern of hope and heartbreak into perspective.

"We're trying to keep hopeful and prayerful, and we are, but the doctors are trying to give us the reality," Schaefer says. "They're trying to tell us, 'This might be what you get.' So we're trying to get to the point of accepting that a little bit more."

What she's trying to accept is that she still has Roger and yet she doesn't. That's the reality of the traumatic injury her "best friend and soul mate" suffered.

Physically, Roger, 51, is stable, although still under care at MetroHealth Medical Center, susceptible to infections and seizures. He has gradually improved, being able to stand and walk with help. He can talk, often quite lucidly.

"Physically, he's getting stronger," says Schaefer, 42. "But he still doesn't really know who we are. If you ask him if he has kids, he'll probably tell you no. I asked him the other day if we had children, and he said, 'No, I actually never wanted children.' "

They have two children: son Race, 12, and daughter Siena, 11.

The injury has left Roger with aphasia, an inability to put names to people and objects, and visual agnosia, an inability to recognize faces.

"Most of the time, he knows his name," Schaefer says. "And some of the aphasia is getting better. I can hold up things like a pen or a napkin, and sometimes he can come up with the words for them. But he has no history. His memory, even as it's happening, is being wiped out. Most of the time, he doesn't even recognize himself in photographs. If I show him a picture of himself, he says, 'That's not me.' "

When Schaefer visits, no matter how recently she might have been there, he might say, "You look familiar." He might say, "I've seen you before." But he doesn't know this is his wife.

"To tell you the truth, I don't even know if he knows what 'wife' means," Schaefer says. "I don't think he knows what the term means."

Children 'miss their dad'

Roger and Stefani were married in 1998.

Recently, a doctor asked Roger to identify Schaefer. He told the doctor she was his mom. The doctor said she looked too young to be his mom. He insisted, no, she was his mom.

As painful as this is, Schaefer realizes how much more hurtful it is for their children.

"They're going through it right there with me," she says. "I'm not hiding anything from them, and I can't imagine how difficult it must be for them."

A few weeks ago, they spent about eight hours with him. Roger looked at Race and asked: "Who's that?"

"I told him, 'That's your son,' " Schaefer says. "And he said, 'Really?' We'd been with him all day. Race said, 'Dad, I'm right here.' The kids are strong, but they miss their dad beyond belief. My son, especially, is having a tough time. Roger was everything to him -- his buddy, his best friend, his father, the funny guy of the house."

Even glimmers of hope can be terribly cruel. One second, Roger might know his birthday. The next, he won't.

"You set yourself up for a little hope, but it doesn't build on that moment of hope," Schaefer says. "There are no new memories. Nothing sticks. The other day, his mom had been with him for about three hours and I said, 'Did your mom come today?' And he said, 'No, she never came.' She was right across the table. I said, 'She's not here right now?' And he said, 'No.' "

Right after the accident, Schaefer told herself that they'd get through this. Her husband would get well and come home.

"A year later, the reality is much different and we still don't know what will happen when the dust settles," she says. "They've told us the visual agnosia doesn't get better, and I'm starting to accept that. So what's changing is the reality of all this."

Somehow, haltingly, she manages to put that reality into words.

"He's not the same person," she says.

"People who know him say, 'There's not a lot of Roger there.' Even his mom will say, 'We lost our Roger.' That's a very difficult thing to say and to accept and to come to terms with. I feel blessed to have him, but we don't have him. A year later, we still don't have him."

Words of encouragement

Through it all, Schaefer continues to co-anchor WJW Channel 8's morning newscast with Wayne Dawson and Kristi Capel. The Alliance native's first stint at Channel 8 began in 1992. She returned there in 2007.

"One of the things that has got me through is the incredible support of Channel 8, my family, my co-workers, my friends, our wonderful viewers," she said. "The words of encouragement are what keep you going. They build you up when you really need it. They'll never know how much they helped me through this."

The other thing that keeps her going is the realization of how much Race and Siena need her.

"At first, each day was a struggle," Schaefer says. "Many times, I felt I couldn't go on. But I realized I had to keep going. You feel so helpless and so full of sadness and hurt and questions, but we have two wonderful children, and I have to keep going. Maybe he's not coming back and I'm all they have. There's no manual on how to deal with this. I'm just trying to be a good mother and keep working and hope for the best."

A devout Catholic, she finds solace in her faith.

"I've never questioned my faith," Schaefer says. "I don't know why it happened. Bad things happen to people every day, almost always without explanation. Roger is a wonderful person, a kind heart, a great spirit, so why did something like this happen to him? I don't know, but, if anything, going through this has deepened my faith."

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