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Hannah having trouble breathing when on her side, but ok when she’s on her belly. Wishing I could do more for her. Promising I won’t leave her.

Driving by a field and seeing my grandpa walking toward the road, looking to be in great health. Feeling near tears because we can’t stop to see him. Hoping he didn’t notice it was me in the backseat of the car and feeling the weight of not stopping to hug him.

Arriving at our destination, going up stone steps to a meditation pond. The water is supposed to run down a zig-zag stone ramp into a stone basin. The platform has an open wall looking out into a dense forest. Denise looks into the basin and cries out “Ew!” and walks away. I look in. At first I only notice that there are rotting leaves and dirty water in the ramp and don’t understand why she is disgusted. Then I look in the pond and see dark slimy tadpoles, nearly frogs in the green water. They still have their tails, but their bodies are enormous and i know that each tadpole with become two identical frogs. You can already see where their heads will split and the third eye will become two. I am fascinated more than revolted. Will is next to me. He is also fascinated. I sing to him as we exit, to the tune of “Tomorrow”: Meiosis! Mitosis! There’s nothing so nice to meeeeee!”