Nov 30, 2011

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson, has shared his opinions on today's strike action and other issues such as suicide on the country's railways, with viewers of the BBC's The One Show. His appearance was followed swiftly by an on-air apology from the show's presenters who tried to explain Clarkson was simply trying a bit too hard to be funny; like family members left apologising for the behaviour of an elderly relative who had disgraced himself at a wedding.

Among a number of comments which sparked complaints to the programme and on Twitter, Clarkson said strikers "should be shot... executed in front of their families", because their decision to strike is unfair on people like him who have to "work for a living" (this is the same Clarkson of course who is rumoured to earn more than £1m per year for driving cars and insulting foreign nationals... barely qualifying him to be an overpaid taxi driver).

Clarkson's increasingly desperate efforts to cause offence are well documented of course, but the below clip is worth watching for the face pulled by One Show presenter Alex Jones (she has previous here, having pulled a similar expression when co-presenter Matt Baker asked David Cameron how he can sleep at night):

Nov 26, 2011

High Street restaurant chain Nandos has launched an advert in South Africa - likely to reach a far wider audience worldwide - featuring some of the African continent's most murderous dictators as well as Saddam Hussein.

Controversial? Just a bit. But the scene featuring Idi Amin and Robert Mugabe recreating Kate Winslet and Leonardo Di Caprio's famous Titanic scene on the back of a tank certainly shows more than a little creativity...

Nov 22, 2011

Unless you've spent today hiding under a rock, you can't have failed to notice the fuss and furore around Benton the black labrador whose owner lost control of his dog in Richmond Park. Off his lead Benton went on to terrorise a herd of deer, while the commentary from Benton's panicked owner has become an online sensation that's been picked up latterly by the nationals - sparking a number of spin-offs (such as this from The Poke).

An article on the BBC website this morning about the curious fashion of earlobe stretching with wooden and plastic plugs included a sentence about Gok Wan which has stopped some readers in their tracks.

That line was quickly changed, perhaps to head-off suggestions being made on Twitter that it was anything other than a poorly written sentence:

Today the Mail has named and shamed an alleged internet troll who they have clearly been doorstepping in recent days. The paper claims Geraldine Curtis has waged a campaign of abuse aimed at Welsh singer Katherine Jenkins, adding that this was all done from a "run-down home in South London" where Jenkins' detractor "lives alone".

The story has been top of the Mail's website all day, complete with pictures harvested from the Facebook page of Curtis.

While it's unclear exactly how much abuse was slung at Jenkins (the offending Twitter account is now deleted), a sample of comments suggest much of it was critical of Jenkins' appearance and singing ability, while some crueller comments referenced the death of Jenkins' father.

Of course it is disgusting that anybody should be targeted in such a way but is the Mail's coverage really proportionate to the importance of this story? And is the Mail really able to take the high ground on this issue?

Some of the Mail's own readers have pointed out the paper's double standards in reporting the issue of internet trolling. "Miss Curtis has said nothing online that I haven't read about Katherine Jenkins in the comments of [the Daily Mail] over the years," wrote one commenter.

"I'm sorry but I've seen worse said on these comments boards," added another.

Many other comments posted on the Mail's story include spiteful and offensive remarks about both Jenkins and her alleged "cyber bully" - ensuring the Mail meets its irony quotient for the day.

One commenter suggests: "Surely some of these comments on here are just cyber bullying as well."

Nov 17, 2011

FIFA president Sepp Blatter has sparked anger by appearing to suggest footballers who are racially abused should rise above it, shake hands and accept it's just part of the game.

The backlash against Blatter's words has caused FIFA to issue a statement denying their president is complacent or in any way condoning of racism. Their choice of image appears to owe much to the "Some of my best friends are black" school of Public Relations:

Beyond the choice of accompanying picture, the statement drafted by, or perhaps more likely on behalf of Blatter does little to clear things up:

"My comments have been misunderstood. What I wanted to express is that, as football players, during a match, you have "battles" with your opponents, and sometimes things are done which are wrong. But, normally, at the end of the match, you apologise to your opponent if you had a confrontation during the match, you shake hands, and when the game is over, it is over."

So he is saying that racial abuse that happens during the game should be forgiven if the offending racist offers a handshake at the final whistle. Glad he cleared that up.

But anybody reading the story on the Telegraph's website will have had to fill in some blanks. The paper quotes a letter written by Watson to the Society of Editors:

"We found it 'inconceivable' that others were not involved in hacking. Where was Nick Robinson, the most powerful political editor in the land, during this period? Kissing Andy Coulson's a---."

Obviously the censored word is "arse". But at the tail-end of 2011 can the Telegraph really not bring itself to publish that word? Would the delicate conservatives of middle England really be swooning at the sight of Tom Watson's "arse" staring back at them from the pages of the Telegraph?

More importantly, isn't it integral to the accuracy of the story?

After all, if the story is that Watson has criticised Robinson isn't the nature of his criticism and the exact words chosen, central to the reporting of the story? And given it was reporting the words of a letter written by Watson, we might wrongly assume the censorship was Watson's. It wasn't, Watson was pulling no punches.

Nov 12, 2011

Although we are told it is "still unnamed" many other details appear to be known:

Here, for the first time, is an artist's impression of the ship that could be the future flagship of the UK...Codenamed FSP21 (Future Ship Project 21st Century), this great vessel would be built in the UK.

However, this 'news' story is in fact a work of some fantasy on the part of the Mail, which has launched a campaign to get this vessel built.

The Mail describes it as:

"A brilliant scheme which is as practical as it is attractive."

Others may agree it looks more like something which has been dreamed up by two bespectacled schoolboys during a wet playtime ("...and we will call it Future Ship Project 21st Century").

The finer details are suitably vague:

"...its £80 million construction cost would not be financed by the British taxpayer...it would be funded by donations from individuals and corporations (millions of pounds are already in the pipeline). And it would not end up as a burden on the taxpayer...

Well I'm convinced this hugely inappropriate idea will never cost the taxpayer a single penny, but who are these investors who will cover not only the building costs but also maintenance and staffing in perpetuity (or as long as such as yacht may remain in service)?

"One group of business leaders in Canada has already promised to raise £10 million once British fundraising has passed the £6 million barrier. Another donor has already offered £500,000 to create the ship's library... Other would-be donors have offers standing by and waiting for an endorsement by the Government."

It sounds as though they may need another wet playtime to fully work out the funding. In the meantime expect to see a host of rent-a-quote public figures wheeled out by the Mail, giving their support to HMS Mindfart.

Nov 09, 2011

Not content with bringing back Alan Partridge, Foster's are about to unleash a whole new series of The Fast Show on the internet. They've just sent through these two sneak preview clips ahead of the first episode going live at 1pm, Thursday 10 November:

Here's one for fans of social media monitoring tools: check out the 'Klout' score for the spoof Big Ben Twitter account.

Despite being a spoof account with a very limited vocabulary @Big_Ben_Clock has a 'Klout' score of 68 out of 100 - which in layman's terms means it has been adjudged to be very influential and authoritative. What's more we are told that the account is particularly influential on the subject of drugs...

Nov 08, 2011

In recent years it's become impossible to miss the moment the world decides Christmas is on its way. There are the incessant ads on TV and the gaudy supermarket displays, of course, but there is also the moment the Daily Mail starts trying to convince us that an alliance of politically correct lefty do-gooders are trying to change 'Christmas' to 'Winterval' (alongside the banning of school nativity plays and other such festive filler).

Chief cheerleader for this annual nonsense has been columnist Melanie Phillips. However, today the Mail has done the unthinkable. This from its corrections and clarifications:

Nov 07, 2011

Unless Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray had actually gone missing (he hadn't), it looks like ITN had this tweet all lined up, ready to add a "guilty" or "not guilty" in the race to be first with the news...

They just hit 'send' a bit early:

Still it could be worse, they could have pre-written a whole article describing Murray's reaction to the verdict, before it was even read out.

Nov 06, 2011

Comedian Jimmy Carr sparked anger on Twitter today with an ill-timed joke about a car crash:

Although Carr made no reference to Friday's horrific pile-up on the M5 a number of angry responses were quickly posted on Twitter, criticising Carr's timing. That was enough to tip-off The Mirror to a potential storm brewing for the comedian. The Daily Mail was also quick to seize upon it.

Carr did delete his tweet after an hour... but only to correct a typo. He reposted it with only the first word changed:

However, another 20 minutes later, Carr did delete the joke a second time and apologise for the poor timing of his joke:

Nov 05, 2011

After months of hoping to chance upon some news through incessant baseless speculation and insuation about the contents of Kate Middleton's uterus, it seems at least two of Sunday's red tops are convinced that Kate is either pregnant... or definitely isn't. The Star has even managed to find a picture of Kate stroking an imaginary baby bump:

This follows The Sun's story yesterday which described Kate not eating some peanut paste as a "pregnancy riddle".

Nov 03, 2011

The ill-wind of blustering mindfarts that cloud the writing of Liz Jones, village-idiot-in-chief among the Daily Mail's stunningly competitive stable of columnists vying for that title, has taken a bizarre twist today with a tale of her desire to get pregnant.

This is the same Liz Jones who recently declared that women only have children "out of vanity" and through a desire to "keep their husband and take a year off work".

Jones' story begins many moons ago when she was trying to trick a former boyfriend into fathering a child against his will (...and they say romance is dead):

"Trevor had never given me what I wanted from a relationship. At first, he wouldn’t even have sex with me. Then, finally, when ... we started a physical relationship... he was still very cautious. He refused to believe I was on the Pill, and insisted we use a condom..."

It turns out Trevor's instincts served him well:

"Because he wouldn't give me what I wanted, I decided to steal it from him. I resolved to steal his sperm...The 'theft' itself was alarmingly easy to carry out...

Ocean's Eleven this is not... and the squeamish may like to look away now:

"One night, after sex, I took the used condom and, in the privacy of the bathroom, I did what I had to do. Bingo."

Or not. Because Jones' DIY approach to home insemination was unsuccessful. Despite this fact, Jones ponders:

"I don't understand why more men aren't wise to this risk..."

What risk exactly... the risk of somebody failing to inseminate themself with the contents of the bathroom bin?

"Let me offer a warning to men... if a woman disappears to the loo immediately after sex, I suggest you find out exactly what she is up to.

Or, don't.

Actually, just don't.

Worst in all of this is Liz Jones' insult to the rest of womankind who she says - and may even believe - are as tragic and deceptive as her:

"...any man who moves in with a woman in her late 30s or early 40s should take it as read that she will want to use them to procreate, by fair means or foul, no matter how much she protests otherwise."

Predictably, Jones is the talk of Twitter this morning. She may not be able to impregnate herself with the dishonestly milked contents of a discarded condom, but she can still spark a Twitterstorm.

Nov 02, 2011

It is 75 years today since the BBC aired the UK's first public television broadcast from Alexandra Palace in London. That broadcast featured American singer Adele Dixon singing a specially commissioned song Magic Rays of Light which was intended to offer a layman's terms explanation of how television works - see what you can gather from her warblings:

"Of course audiences had seen films in the cinema, but this was different. It was personal! In its own grumpy corner, the press sniffed at the new arrival... The Times was particularly unimpressed, intoning that man was basically a social animal, and would not forsake the gregarious pleasures of theatre and restaurants for "the lonely pleasures of TV at home".

Meanwhile, C.P. Scott, editor of the Manchester Guardian declared: "No good will come of it."

Anybody who has ever sat through the Jeremy Kyle Show may be inclined to agree.

To mark the 75th anniversary, Alexandra Palace will this weekend open the doors of its original television studio to the public (click here for more details).

Nov 01, 2011

Footballers and Twitter have enjoyed something a rockyrelationship in recent years but one Mexican football team, Club de Futbol Jaguares de Chiapas, have clearly decided to make a virtue of its players' online chattering by adding their Twitter handles to the backs of their shirts, where other players traditionally sport their names. In a canny piece of advertising, the shirts also include the Twitter handle for sponsors, Mexican beer brand Sol: