9 Movie Hangovers Worse Than The One You're Feeling

We promise no loud noises.

It's the Monday after the Super Bowl. Everyone's moving slowly, achy and hungover from the weekend's debauchery. It hurts to think. It hurts to read. It hurts to type. However, as bad as it is, someone's always got it worse. Like the dudes on this list. All you did was pound Natty Ice and have to make it to work. These guys got lit and then had to be around children or fight crime. We here at Screen Junkies are just thankful our mornings did not involve gunfire or children.

Die Hard With A Vengeance

The most annoying thing about terror is that it never strikes when it's convenient. Nobody knows this better than John McClane. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, he finds himself pulled into a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a terrorist looking to avenge his brother's murder at the hands of McClane. Okay. First of all, his brother was a real dick. But you just can't talk any sense into these terrorist guys, so he attacks McClane the morning after he went on an epic bender, forcing him to fight for his life in Harlem, stop a bomb from exploding on a train way downtown, and solve a number of annoying riddles. Have you ever tried to kill an elite team of international thugs singlehanded with a splitting headache? It's not fun. He probably had to take an epic crap as well.

The Hangover

Imagine waking with a terrible headache to find a chicken in your hotel room. Add to that a tiger, a total mess, a missing tooth and missing best friend. The last thing you want to do after a night of debauchery is piece together the events of the previous evening. I prefer to eat something greasy and watch whatever's on Syfy. Even if Richard Grieco is in it.

A League Of Their Own

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When former Cubs slugger Jimmy Dugan is assigned to manage the all-female Rockford Peaches, he sees it as a huge step down from his former glory. And so, he treats it like a complete joke. Showing up to practice and games either completely hammered or woefully hungover. You do have to give props to the guy though. He knows how to make an introduction.

School Of Rock

Though he may not be cut out to teach fifth grade, Jack Black is happy to impart rock n' roll wisdom upon his students while masquerading as a substitute teacher. Part of those teachings is the difference between being drunk and having a hangover. Being hungover means he was drunk yesterday. Big difference.

E.T.

As a parent, I'd be concerned if my child started chumming around with an extra-terrestrial visitor. That thing could be covered in germs! And even if it doesn't cause a breakout of Space AIDS, I'd want to make sure it is a good influence on my child, i.e.: doesn't get him super drunk. And if it does, it had better use that glowing finger to cure his hangover because I'm sure not scrubbing vomit out of the carpet.

Shakes the Clown

Shakes the Clown likely suffers the worst hangovers on this list. No matter how much you drink to dull the pain and forget your troubles, you always sober up to find that you're a party clown. No amount of hooch can wipe away that grease paint. Add to that the indignity of finding you've just slept with Florence Henderson, and her son is now urinating on your head. That doesn't seem like a very Brady thing to do.

Bad Santa

Of course, there is also a dark side to getting completely blotto. Namely, sometimes it makes you forget your manners. Like in the case of Billy Bob Thornton's Bad Santa. His character, Willie, sobers enough to realize that he's not a very nice guy. Here he is, squatting in a house with some kid who pees on dishes and his senile grandmother. If that weren't bad enough, he also nearly ruined the kid's Christmas by devouring his Advent calendar during a fit of drunken munchies. A little Scotch tape and candy corn fixed it up, but talk about a close call.

Hancock

You'd think that Hancock wouldn't drink as much as he does. He does have super senses after all. These are likely heightened while he's hungover. I know that my sense of smell gets cruelly sharper the morning after I've tied one on, and my hearing is much more sensitive. I freak out if someone runs the vacuum. Hancock hears every vacuum.

Team America: World Police

Though Gary doesn't have time to wallow in his hangover, I'm thinking it wasn't that much of a problem considering how much vomit he evacuated from his stomach. I'd think he'd be able to run a marathon after spraying down an alley the way he did.