Question

How do I deal with my disappointment that I'm having a boy?

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We've just learned that we're having a boy, and we were both hoping for a girl. My husband says we should just be happy to have a healthy baby, but I can't help feeling disappointed. We're in our late 30s and we've had two miscarriages, so this may be our one and only child. Is anyone else unhappy about their baby's gender?

Mom Answers

Personally I don't think you should be disappointed at all. There are so many families out there having sick babies and babies who don't live very long. I think no matter what you have, just be thankful that you have a healthy beautiful baby boy. I am 23 years old and I already have a 4 year old little boy, and I wouldn't have ever asked for anything else. I am now 4 months pregnant with my second child and I am hoping for a girl, but if I get a boy that is fine with me. I thank god every day for my heathy children. I am so grateful to just have them alive, healty as can be and happier than ever. Don't be disappointed, be grateful:)

HI Linda, I had a sonogram done when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Now however when I walk on the street people look at me & say I am having a boy because My belly looks round. I am also a little disapointed because I am use to calling the baby a she. So if turn out to be a boy then it would be a little disapointing for myself. My Hubby says that once the child is born then all that feeling will go away. But hopefully after the baby is born you wont feel disappointed.

I have two nephews aged 2 and four and they are the most sweet exciting and fun kids ever. I am 24 weeks preg and our family is expecting me to have a girl but I just want a healthy baby and can't wait to hold him/her in my arms. When you see your baby I'm sure you won't want anything but him.

Where have all the old postings gone? Well, I guess I'll just have to post again. Wendy, what is the update with you and MS? Jemima, congrats with your new house? Are you having fun with your little bubbies? My little Aaron will be 1yr. in just 2 and a half weeks! I can't believe it. He's cruisin' around the furniture, but not attempting to walk on his own yet.

Maybe you should start by considering yourself so fortunate to be pregnant and having a baby. I can't believe someone who has suffered through 2 miscarriages is bitching about the sex of the baby! You're lame.

Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. Posters should keep in mind that when pregnant or even trying to concieve you have emotions that sometimes take over and be sensitive to that. I am hoping for a girl too but I have another two weeks before I find out. In the interim I am trying to look at boy things and starting to prepare myself for a boy mentally...just in case.
Maybe you can start thinking about the positives in having a son so you feel better about your upcoming little boy.

My husband and I wanted a girl with our first child and I thought for sure we were going to have one. The sonogram showed it was a boy. I wasn't disappointed, I was just happy everything was normal. Like yourself we had also had two miscarriages and I was just so relieved that he was healthy. After he was born and they showed him to me I instantly fell in love with this beautiful little boy. I see his father in him and I thank God every day for him. I'm sure that you will feel the same way once your baby is born. My son is now 16 mos old and I really don't know what my life would be like without him. Just be happy that your baby is healthy.

Everyone around me was positive that we were having a girl. At the ultrasound, it was aparent that the little girl we thought we were going to have was actually a little boy. My first reaction was sheer shock. All I could say was, "I don't know how to potty train a boy." I have accepted that I am having a boy and am so excited about it now. I can read books on how to potty train. I hope you will find the same excitement that I have found. You trade in the frilly pinks for sailboats and sports, but the love is still the same. When he is in your arms, you will think to yourself that you always wanted a little boy. It is just going to be that magical of a moment for you.

I think BB's comment here is good. Talk to people and find out what they like about having boys. Sit down and imagine what you can enjoy about having a boy.
My husband and I have always imagined both, in the early months, and then when we find out the sex of the baby we are excited and can prepare.
Remember that this baby coming into your life will be his own person, not just what you want him to be, and feel blessed that you are allowed to help him grow up to be someone you can be proud of.

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