SPAM

If cat food is the K2 of cooking then surely SPAM is the Everest; no where near as challenging, but everyone wants to try it.

I am the only person in the world that has not tried SPAM so I was mega excited cycling down to my local Tesco Metro to purchase some. On my way I was formulating what to do with it and getting all teary eyed with all the delicious possibilities; I know SPAM is pork based so I was thinking something with apples and potatoes. So in Tesco Metro I also purchased some apples:

And I was thinking about making chips but they didn’t have any potatoes left so I got the next best thing:

So what to do with it? After many deep and conflicting thoughts I figure the only option is to go Best of British: a delicious honey glazed Sunday joint roast.

I begin by glazing the SPAM with honey and pierce the hide with some cloves:

I transfer to my professional chef’s kitchen oven for 40 minutes at 140 degrees. There were no roasting instructions on the tin so I just kind of winged it a bit here.

Next I come up with a delicious mustard and baby food pear and apple sauce which I think will greatly enhance the flavour of the dish:

After roasting and remove from the oven, here’s what we have!

Done to a turn!

So the final step is to serve with the fancy potato crouton chips and the sauce, and I’ve been working super hard on my food presentation skills:

But what does it taste like?

I don’t think I like SPAM; it’s really salty and has quite a nasty aftertaste which could be said to be a bit like the souls of long dead pigs which have obviously died for a pointless cause. ON THE OTHER HAND it turns out that the combination of apple and mustard sauce and salt and vinegar crisps is pretty epic! They should serve that as a fancy combo at posh dinner parties I reckon.

So, mixed results and I will not be eating SPAM ever again unless I am the only survivor of a nuclear holocaust but I will be trying that delicious mix of sauce and crisps!

Remember Anne-Marie? She did a big promo-expo thing for Monty Python’s Spamalot and she brought me a commemorative tin of Spamalot Spam “with extra-stinky garlic”. I’ve still got it in storage somewhere, never wanted to open it. Nor display it.

I have only tried SPAM once; there was a van parked outside Morrisons in Scunthorpe one afternoon, where you could get free samples of SPAM toasties, and I was hungry so I blagged two of them. In hindsight, I could have sated my hunger by going into Morrisons and buying some food.

Ooooo, Spam is food of the gods! I love it. I don’t think I would care for it roasted, though. The first time my mother set me loose in the kitchen at the ripe old age of 4, I set about making my favorite sandwich in the world — Spam and raisins on Wonder bread. Of course, many have told me since that this sounds horrid…I stand firm in my love of all things Spam, though.

i think you’re being a little harsh on the Spam: in my younger years my dad often told me how his great uncle was a tank driver in WW1 – many errant bullets would dent and occasionally punch holes right through the body work… This great uncle of my fathers (i suppose that makes him my great great uncle) would use Spam to fill said holes in. Spam fixes tanks. This is not a claim to fame that Genuine Actual Ham can even come close to.

That said, this is the first time i have actually written this tale down and i now feel it could possibly be a porkie pie.

Not that I care, its a good story! Please feel free to tell all of your friends

Spam is really popular in some parts of the world. In Hong Kong they actually have fried spam with plain boiled rice, topped with a fried egg. If I’m not wrong they love their spam in Hawaii, spam sushi and all. Personally, I dislike the taste of spam most days but during the very rare and odd days I want a mashed and fried tower of concocted meats I might tag along for lunch with a spam loving friend and grab a small forkful of her fried spam.
I love the daring exploits you do on food – its a bloody artform. I used to cook like that when I was younger and force my younger brother to eat it. One of my favourites – the ‘witches cauldron’ with all manner of edible garbage stirred into a nightmarish stew,
Today, I’m a boring ol’ bat, I wouldn’t say I cook like a snob at all but I love warm, big hearty plates of food, varying my cuisines. Keep it up!