Steroids are celebrity poison. After a protracted investigation last year into performance-enhancing drugs’ presence in Major League Baseball, and Marion Jones‘ confession last fall that she had a little help from some pharmaceutical friends, authorities are looking at the world of rap and R&B. A new report alleges steroid use by several entertainers, including 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Tyler Perry. (Blige’s spokesperson denies the accusation; Perry’s representation refused to comment.) What, if anything, this has to do with the price of tea in China is unclear: Officials say that none of the celebrities have broken the law, and that for now, they’re focusing on the doctors who are prescribing the drugs, not the already beleaguered music industry. Besides, unless we’ve been misled, ‘roids don’t help you rap. And if this story’s true, they apparently don’t help you win a fake record-selling battle with Kanye West trumped up for press on September 11th, either. Here are some sweet portraits of the artists in their buff mode.

In other, sort of related news: NBC has been randomly testing the cast members of the network’s hit show American Gladiators in an effort to avoid just this sort of thing. In made-up, totally fake news: the WWE sawthe story in this morning’s New York Post, went home and Soloflexed the tears away shortly before putting its fingers in its ears and throwing out its television set.

Round 72, part IV of Kanye vs. 50: In an interview with San Diego morning radio show AJ’s Playhouse, 50 told everyone what he really thinks of Kanye — he sucks. 50 also claimed his rival’s label would be padding sales by purchasing 200,000 copies of Kanye’s Graduation, and stating, “he sounds like a robot, he has a robot record.? Given Ye’s penchant for all things Daft Punk, he might not find this to be that insulting. We’re so confused — didn’t the two not-at-all-publicity-hungry rappers quash their beef when they appeared on stage with one another at Screamfest? There are also rumors abounding of a Rolling Stone cover of Kanye and 50, together. So what’s with all the bickering? Is this the greatest marketing coup ever, or the beggining of one of rap’s heaftiest beefs?