Monday, February 08, 2010

Jones Day

Tom,

I was just talking to a friend who told me to watch out for this place in NYC!

He was recently at Jones Day (two weeks ago) for a couple of days. They were fired on the spot because the slave driver felt that they were not typing entries fast enough into the privilege log. Please publish the story to alert others not to work there as the first year associates were real jerks, watching over people. The real punk was the African American female associate named Jaime. She was on a real power trip.

Has anyone else heard anything about this place? I got called to work there awhile back, but I didn't take it as I was able to land something else.

76 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Worked there briefly last year. Similar story. A reviewer was loudly chewed out for supposedly going too slowly and got the call that night that they were fired. No chance to even improve. Personally, I think they single out one person on every project to fire in order to scare the rest of the reviewers.

Jaime, Jamie - who cares - that is really terrible. Lawyers did not got to school to learn typing. Many I have worked with aee pretty fast regardless. The shit that takes place in New York never ceases to amaze me. Worse than a third world sweatshop!!

Last year one agency did not pay me for several days work although I repeatedly asked them for the check. Finally I gave up. Now I receive a W-2 stating that they did pay me for those days. I wrote to them but have not heard back. Anyone have a similar experience?

Today, Jones Day is one of the largest law firms in the world, with more than 2,500 lawyers in 32 locations. This global legal institution is based on a set of core principles to which all our lawyers and staff can commit - the most critical of which is a relentless focus on client service that transcends individual interests. We are One Firm Worldwide. LMAO

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- just saw this chick's profile. She JUST graduated - no wonder she is acting so bossy. Don't worry she will get the shit kicked outof her in a few years - and then we can ask her how it feels. We all do .... few seasoned people act this way. It's always the ugly nerds just out of school just waiting to push around those who pushed them. They usually can't wait for their power trip to start. She'll come to her senses in a few years.

That bowl of brown sugar needs 14 inches of prime Alabama blacksnake between those thighs.

She'll be laid off in a few years and pop out 10 kids and collect welfare/food stamps with the rest of the sistahs. We'll see her shreiking black booty on Cops in a few years when she's a toothless crack whore giving blowjobs for a suck on the glass dick.

It's just a matter of time before this beeeeatch joins the ranks of temp attorneys. Few minorities make it to the top in law firms - and certainly not such toothsome gals. Use the salary to get some plastic sugery giiiirl, Lord knows you need it.

I am going to work for Starbucks. At least there if you work with ghetto you expect it. It's these firms purporting to be white shoe and international and then fucking with you by hiring young goons that really gets my goat.

I will work at Target until my business takes off and then maintain a direct line with clients and other mature lawyers and bypass these young bitches perpetually on the rag.

Hi, I'm a loser temp who borrowed way too much to go to a shitty law school. There's this associate at the firm a I work for who always yells at me because I'm a lazy fuck and I work too slow.

To feel better about myself, I vent on message boards and make disparaging remarks about her race and the ethnicity of others as well. Perhaps it doesn't adaquately mask my jealousy. After all, despite all of my racist rants, I would trade places with her at the drop of a hat.

Please 2;32 take your head out of your ass. No one would trade pleaces with these bitches and no one who has seen how the industry rapes and sodomizes associates and then throw them like a used tampon out is jealous. People vent because they are good decent people who are treated like shit by these johnny come lately nerds who don't know a thing about the world and don't have any human skills.

Trust me no one is jealous - I think people just want to be treated fairly.

What's up bitches?? I may be a buck-toothed baby associate but I will kick your ass you lazy sons of bitches. You better watch it and start typing like your life depended on it - or my new Jimmy Cho [after I got this gig I traded in my plastic Nine Wests] will be in your back.

Baxter Davenport III, partner at a large white-shoe, white-skin firm, here. Yes, it's true we like to have some young goons around. [And yes, it's true after a few years unless they are really smart or really hot we will throw them out like yesterday's tampon - er, newspaper.] After all, we cannot be seen doing the dirty work. No one is better at doing shit work and slapping staff around than the young uns - they are so power hungry and perky, bopping up and down in the hallways - so happy to be with us, and will do anything, just anything to stay. Little geeky leeches. Like the CIA we thrive on recruiting the insecure and the deprived especially if they have been mocked and bullied for lack of looks or money, or preferably both. They make the most motivated goons. Yes, part of our cadres come from the affluent and connected, WASP network et al but these people lack the carnivorous hunger of the indigent. The day Buck-Toothed Betty and her ilk are not profitable for us they too will be cut like the slow lazy temps. So keep moving your fat ass Betty ...and you better not slow down either...keep moving you little gerbil

First off, to all the Muffy Helmingtons and the Jewy Jewsteins..along with the psuedo white should be trailor trash here....the high yella Aunt Tom is hot. You schlubby, nerdy, hideous toileteers only wish you could land a high yella, high post biglaw ho like her.

While the toileteers among you went to shitty schools, sista girl went to U of M. She blows most of your credentials out of the water.

But, I am quite sure she is no Clarence Darrow and neither are many of you fools. She's probably an example of kneegroidian and hot vaginal affirmative action. She probably thinks she will make partner by her alleged genious or by her vagina. She likely won't.

Most of you toileteers here would kill to be in her spot. Don't deny it.

But some of you are correct, the devilsh twins of Martha Stewart and Jerry Heebfeld will chew her up and spit her foine high yella ass out and she too, like many of you psuedo white wanna be elitist crackas, will be an N-word too. She will get hers just like you are getting yours.

Fuck all you lemming fools and fuck the racist, classist and elitist WASPY and Jewy devils that run lawland and those schlubby white trash toileteers wish they could be the elitist WASPS and JEWS.

My advice to Bossy Boots would be to take it easy. It's easy to get carried away being young and from a good school. But life is going to take many twists and turns and you WILL find yourself at the bottom of the heap one day. It may not seem like it now that your degree and skin are fresh - but it will happen. I know Miss Priss because it happened to me -- another top tier grad. You have NO IDEA of the kind of shit that can happen - even if you work hard and suck that old partner dick all day. A little humanity is not a bad idea. It's all about Karma - and it will come back to bite you in that jelly ass if you are not careful.

What on earth is are these references to Martha Stewart all about? While the Seinfeld reference is crystal clear to all but the most insentient of my esteemed brethren (and sistren) of the bar, I have yet to see a scintilla of the religious discrimination, ethnic favoritism, clannishness, sense of entitlement, hypersensitivity to any criticism (both real and imagined), racial triumphalism, subtle intimidation of politicians and employees, generally annoying behavior and abhorrent personal habits exhibited by a certain group being ascribable in the slightest degree to Poles or Polish Americans, the only group of which Martha Stewart (nee Kostyra) is an identifiable member. Or am I missing something?

Ur missing something fool. Don't know or care if Martha is a polock and who knows, she very well may be of the tribe of Lech Walecsa or Pope John Paul II.....it matters not.

Martha goes out of her way to project alpha WASPYness. She is the personification of uber WASPYness. You can substitute a uber male WASP who looks like he could have been her brother and you then would have a vision of what many biglaw partners look like. Or at least try to front as.

Wow! I would like to thank the poster who put up the link to the Fred Williamson Movie called Boss N-Word! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTIklFsMjjU

....Which, by the way, was the subject of possibly the greatest thread in the history of JDUnderground a couple of years ago.

Also: Big up to the genious who put up the "Retard Temp and Me" photo. It is very indicative of what many failed schlubby pale temps look like (the Andy Samburg Charector) and big law partner's or partner's wives look like. Very illustrative. Great work people!

Hudson Legal is currently staffing the following position:Start date: Must be able to begin today at 3:30 pmRate: $35/hr + OTDuration: 3-4 days Hours: Heavy hours, including 12 hour daysLocation: Midtown, Manhattan Requirements: Attorneys with prior document review experience If interested, please email your most current resume to LEGALJOBS@HUDSON.COM immediately.

The black chick from Jones Day is actually HOT.... the losers on this board from subprime schools are just jealous haters so they have to make up some kind of shit about her "large teeth" or "buckteeth". She actually has nice pearly-whites, maybe her smile is a little bit bigger than usual because she is SET, with a Top 10 law school degree, associates job in a MAJOR GLOBAL LAW FIRM, she is very hot for a random black girl, and she oversees a bunch of loser Neanderthal trash from TTT schools slaving over a bunch of shitty documents!!! I say, more power to her and I hope she laughs at you people while partying it up at Happy Hour drinking endless Long Island Ice Teas at some posh club in Manhattan, pulling out her platinum cards and paying for all the girls, while the jealous haters and losers are sleeping on futons in their dingy, roach-infested apartments in Brookly, jerking off to the JCPenny's catalog.

Negroes usually have nice teeth because in their native land they had to chew thru coconuts and bamboo, etc. When they came over as slaves Whitey fed them chicken legs and hamhocks so they still needed those teeth to chew the tough meat.

This sistah is probably dating some white Jew nerd with a cocktail weiner schlong to increase her social status and make the older darkies in her family jealous.

But once Jones Day axes her she'll be craving 14 inches of stiff Alabama Blacksnake between those chocolate thighs.

Those who think this chick is hot are obviously living out in the country and not in New York City where she would pass as healthy and average - but certainly not HOT. Have you seen the girls in New York??? Are you fucking kidding me???

I hope she has fun and party's it up as well. Because honey it is not going to last that long -- or if it does you are going to have work like a mule with that blackberry jammed up your ass 24-7

Yep, she probably does have a Jewish nerd lover - they all do - minority chicks and Jewish boys do well together for some reason.

And as for 12:37 I don't know ANYONE who jacks off to a JC Penney catalogue. Victoria's Secret yes, but JC Penney??? That is the most insane thing I have heard - you must do that that's why you know. Although I have to say the girls in JC Penney catalogue are WAY hotter than this buck-toothed Betty.

To that miguided and ignorant clown who uses the ethnic Polish-American of working-class roots (Martha Stewart) as a poster child for the alleged WASP establishment that purportedly controls the mighty law firms, might I suggest you refer henceforth to the recently deceased Louis Auchincloss, who had been a partner at S&C back before the faux-WASP horde referred to in Ms. Marlowe's article "infiltrated" and took over the venerable old firms? I mean, if you can't even identify a true WASP as part of the conspiracy you are attempting define, then the omission itself tends to prove that it doesn't exist. Or is the subtlety of that argument lost on a pathetic little coder like you? More food for thought:http://vanishingamerican.blogspot.com/2009/02/elusive-wasp-elite.html

As a brotha who is expert in these matters....sista girl is a hot high yella, hi siditty biotch.

Most of you toiletatious crackas are ill equipped to judge the beauty of any black person much less tell them apart from one another.

And she very likely does have a Jewish or WASPY white liberal guilt laden lover. There are many jews who feel guilty over the evil, racist selfishness and devilry that many of their people display. The guilt laden ones seem to go overboard in trying to counter act the wickness of their less liberal tribesmen. Sometimes it is sad, sometimes funny but it is truly an intersting phenomena.

I would be stunned if honeydip had a straight black man as her man. I could only imagine the whip she would crack if she did have a black man.

But make no mistake about it. Honeydip is biglaw because she technically is black and she is light and one hell of a foine ass sight. And to the Man, light and fine is right. God forbid that she should be talented and willing in pleasing her superiors.

Quite frankly, she is the personification of what the Man and Woman would want in their kneegrow tokens. Why would they hire a toilety TTT grad schlubby blue collaresq, psuedo white over her?

She serves her massas purposes much more than any schlubby toileteer could ever serve. Get over it fools. Even if her hi yella ass weren't there you still would not get a slot in the Man's biglaw. To the man you are more of an N-word than honeydip will ever be.

She may not know it until they spit her out in a year or two, but she has her exucse whereas most of you semi pale faced toileteers have none.

Sharon Stone is a hottie, Whitney Houston is/was a hottie, Gong Li is a hottie, Sophia Vergara is a hottie - [have I covered all the races] Jamie what the fuck is NOT a hottie.

As I said she is healthy and average. She is NOT ugly but she is NOT hot either. And it has nothing to do with the fact that she is god forbid BLACK - there are plenty of hot black women out there. She is just not one of them. Sorry.

Michelle Obama looks like She-Hulk. Enough with the niceties. The Journal of International Law at any law school is for idiots. This bitch needs to simmer down now. Once they get past the affirmative action quota for first year layoffs, she's out.

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