The Waiting

Currently, late is about 10pm. Most people and activities on base here at YWAM Brisbane start to wind down around 9pm. A lot of people are up pretty early in the mornings, and almost everyone has very full days. So, currently, its thunder storming (again! yay!) and I'm sitting in my bunk bed (bottom bunk for this old one) typing away while the other ladies in my room are settling in for the night.

Today has been a long day. We had a stomach bug going around over the weekend, and about half of the base was sick Sunday- thankfully, I didn't have any issues. But, due to that, we've all had some rough nights. Its hard to share a room with 12 girls, 6 of whom are sick most of the night. So this morning I woke up exhausted. Wanting to just sleep a little longer, and to not have to think.

But that's not life. Thankfully, after lunch, I was able to come back to my room and have a little over an hour to lay down. I crashed out so deeply, that I woke, not sure where I was, or what I was doing. But it was one of those naps that made me unsure if it was better or worse I took it.

On Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, we have our art focus classes. I felt like a bump on a log at mine. Completely void of inspiration or a voice that could say anything coherent.

Just mentally, physically and spiritually drained today.

And that's okay. Those sorts of days come. And they go. We spent some time singing and worshipping tonight, and I forget the song, I apologize- but the chorus was emphasizing the need to wait on Christ. And I just had this thought…

One of the scariest things about all of this… of me leaving, and coming here, doing what I'm doing…is that I will get to the end, and still be the same. That nothing will have changed. That I have no further plan for the future… I don't want to get to next year, and be in the exact same spot.

Now, do I really believe that will be the case? I don't think I do… but its easy to freak myself out if I think to deeply, or try to rush the next 5 months passed.

And I just had this reassuring picture of a train stop. (we travel a lot by trains and buses here.) You get to the train station, and, sometimes, you just have to wait for the next train, be it in 20 minutes, or an hour. Sure, you could hop on a different one, from a different platform… but will that really get you to your destination? I could try to find a bus. Or walk- but, honestly, I'm probably not wearing the correct shoes for that… and the buses are confusing. I have to just sit. And wait. For the right train.

How like my life is that. I trust that the correct train is coming at the correct time it is scheduled for… and right now? In life, I have to place my trust on the Lord that He has my story in order, and will send the next train when its ready.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.