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March 24, 2014

To protect you always is what I will, That's my life's purpose The stone that went into the wishing well, Carries my wish to the lord, I suppose...

I will be your armor and not just a wife, I will be with you forever and not just in this life, For you, I will take on the world To that, I give you my word..

I'll never let that smile of yours turn upside down, It kills me to see you frown, My love, be calm and at peace, I'll set all your worries at ease..

Dedicated
to all the ladies who are protective of their husbands and take the
lead in life. There are some instances where people typically expect
guys to take the lead even in the modern society. It's not outspoken,
but there is a notion. For example, you don't see many guys sitting as a
pillion rider in a vehicle while the lady drives. People don't expect a
woman to take explicit charge of finances, future decisions. It is sad
that even some of the women stereotype things like this. When I go out
of my way to do all the works inside and outside household, people ask
me "Why are you doing this? Won't your husband do it?". It's my
convenience. What has the gender got to do with any of this? There's
just the matter of getting the job done. What is it to you if I do it or
my husband does it? We have our own reasons and circumstances why we
are that way. None can judge our life ever and none can know more about
our life than us. What if I do every work in the family, does it matter
when you have a loving husband who will support you, help you wherever
he can, give a foot massage when you are tired and kiss you good night?

Our
world has changed a lot but there are still some people who see these
women as dominating. We don't dominate, we do it because we can and
because it's convenient for us. If a woman stands in the front, it
doesn't mean she pushes her husband behind and takes the lead. It's
because she'd put herself in front rather than risking her love getting
hurt. It's because she'd do anything to make his life comfortable. It's
not necessary that a guy has to protect his wife after marriage. That
kind of typicality is long gone. Women are the protectors ever since- as
a sister, a mother, a wife. It's just that things are in the open now.
Nothing has changed, nothing will. We will because we can. Before my
marriage, I met a saintly person who knew my husband already, he is
known for his knowledge and instincts which have stunningly been so
accurate every time. He told me "You have got a very good companion in
your life. You must be his Vishnu, his protector." I didn't fully realize
the wisdom in his words at that time. I do now.

I
wrote this post since I realized how much a woman takes on in life. The
more important thing I realized is a woman is given so much to handle
only because she's the one who can handle it. This is neither a feminist
post nor a post to underestimate men. I believe in practical equality,
not emotional rebellion. This post is a reflection of some
realizations. We don't need women's day to celebrate women. Realizing what being a woman means and respecting it is more than enough.

March 13, 2014

I was in a mood for short scary stories so I thought maybe I should write a something that comes in my mind impromptu,
I started penning down stories as and when it
came on my mind, and I had promised myself that I would publish this
post when I finish my 10th horror story

P.S: Try to imagine the situation when you are reading each story

2nd Nov 2013, Story 1
I
woke up and saw the alarm clock, It was 2.30am. I know I heard a know.
It was crystal clear. I went near the door to check who it was at this
ungodly hour.
Then the knock came again, this time louder and it was from the mirror

15th Nov 2013, Story 2
For
as long as I have been staying in this house, I have heard footsteps, I
have heard someone crying, I have heard people talking in muffled
voices.
I have told that to my friends many times only to be laughed at.
That night I heard my friend call my name, I went down the stairs to see her transfixed by the door.
She turned to me and said "I didn't hear them, I saw them" and pointed at someone standing in my hall.

29th Nov 2013, Story 3
I woke up to my boyfriend's voice and him shaking me awake saying there is an intruder in the house.
I'm up for sure, and sweaty and scared to death
I live alone and my boyfriend was murdered by an intruder 2 years ago.

3rd Dec 2013, Story 4
My
dog, Dino has this fixation for my face, whenever I am at home he keeps
staring at me face. I thought it was quite cute until I realized that
he keeps staring behind me.

9th Dec 2013, Story 5
There is nothing more beautiful than the laughter of a baby..
Unless you are at home alone and its 1am

29th Dec 2013, Story 6
That night little Mary came on to the bed and whisper in Daddy's ears 'Daddy I cant sleep'
And Daddy hugged her
Until he realised that he hugged the same dress that Mary was buried in 3 days ago

15th Jan 2014, Story 7
Sheila
tucked her 4 year old daughter Mira into bed as usual when her daughter
turned to her and says "Mommy, I'm scared, someone is under my bed"
Sheila smiles and looks under the bed, down she sees Mira's saying "Mommy, there is someone sitting on my bed"
When Sheila looks back up. there is a black cloud of smoke with claws.
Sheila was found dead in Mira's room the next morning and Mira is still missing.

5th Feb 2014, Story 8
Mishka
had a tiring day at work. All she wanted to do was go her empty home and
relax.She reached home, throws her bag on the couch and reaches for the
light switch, only to realize that there is another had that reached out to the switch

20th Feb 2014, Story 9
After a hard working day, Jack comes home to see his wife cradling his child.
Its difficult to say what gave him the heart attack.
Was it that some one has broke-in to his empty house
Was it to see his dead wife and his still born at 1am?

14th March 2014, Story 10
I woke up to the constant vibrations of my phone that was next to my pillow.
I saw the "Gallery Images" section open.
There was a picture of me, sleeping, that was taken a few minutes back..I live alone at home.

March 9, 2014

Getting blamed for his mistakes. Covering for his lazy ass when he is in trouble. Quickly scribbling down answers to his homework just so he won’t get punished. Funding his slightly under-the-table activities without mom’s knowledge. Bhai-dooj and rakshabandhan. Showing him off proudly to all your friends when he suddenly grows three feet taller than you. He has always been that annoying brother-fly buzzing in your ear but a buzz that you love with unparalled intensity.

***

Big, bear hugs. Annoying PJs. Bird-watching together. Only person who is allowed to criticize the boyfriend. Making fun of your poor taste in fashion. Having your back when the boss is pisssssed. Calling you one of the bros and punching you like you are one. Making deals to get work done. Competitive. Laughter. Well-timed jokes. Food. The solid presence of a bestie that you will be lucky to keep around for a lifetime.

***

Jostling for space in front of the mirror when you are running late for work. The sudden hug that comes out of the blue to shoo away your blues. A concern about the number of glances your hemline is going to draw. Stubbly, scratchy kisses that chafe your cheek. Broad shoulders that take the weight off your sagging ones. The slight temperature that has you worried out of your mind. He is the better half, who makes you want to be better.

***

We hear about women being abused and raped and hurt and we cringe, we die a little and we send up prayers. And then we thank the Almighty heartily for sending some angels who have taken it upon themselves to keep you safe, who love you enough to flay alive anyone who threatens your happiness.

This Women’s Day I thank all the men in my life, all of them.

I thank them for not eroding my self-esteem, for egging me on to strive for more, for better, for believing that I can do much better, for not judging me when I fail, for protecting me, for not hurting me, for lending wings to my dreams, for just being there.

March 4, 2014

I have had a good childhood. I have been pampered, been apprehended time and again when there was a need to restrain my wild surges, have been provided with everything I needed and most importantly, got an undivided
attention from my parents (as I was biologically late to my family party). But
then, there have been times in my growing years, when I have thrown tantrums of
the worst kind, when I did not get what I thought I wanted so desperately at
that instant, despite knowing the truth deep down inside that what I may have
wanted at that precise moment may not have really been that important to me outside
the fit of that one passing moment. My mother being the strong personality that
she is, was stern in terms of discipline and as I grew, we had our differences
(although as of today, we are best of friends). Her NO to something in those
days bruised my ego badly and I wanted that thing even more, just to prove her
otherwise. However, my father being the cool person that he is, voiced his NO
in a way that there could be no further debate/argument/discussion over it. His
NO was a NO and final. It was the dot period to all the idiosyncrasies I managed
to pull out of my hat of tricks. It was never rude. It never sounded superior. Most
importantly, his NO never hurt. And more so, it would slap that question on your
face, sans any minced words, “What part
of a NO is unclear?” The question camouflaged the essence – “Learn to accept a NO for an answer”

Coming to the present day, where I am a mother myself, I
find myself in umpteen uncomfortable occasions where, saying a NO to my son, or
saying a NO to friends or saying a NO to even myself has been taxing, or more appropriately put, testing! On a lighter note, I agree I have been a
royal pain in the neck for my parents way back then. But, I get to taste my own
ego battles with my son, as making him understand a NO to chocolates, late
night TV watching and playing all day long out in the sun exhausts my
patience and energy alike. And not just
as a mother, but even as a social being, making a point across when one is
drowned in a whirlwind of coaxing and cajoling, has been an effort. And then, more
often than not, we tend to go with the flow. We are either too scared to voice a NO lest some 'feelings' get 'hurt' or perhaps, we are too doubtful about ourselves that a NO doesn't find its way out from the tongue and, when it does come out, it turns out to be a YES. And then, the
suppression of the real self beats the hell out of the conscience that somewhere
one did not do what was required to be done. And then, all it takes for a person across to understand a NO, is the right moment, the right words, the right tone with a touch of appropriate humor.

So the question stands, “what
part of a NO is unclear?” So, next time when you feel you are just appeasing
a falsified ego of a person sitting right across you, while the real feeling is
to not do it, then you might as well say a firm NO in the right tone, laced with harmless humor. And if that NO fails to create the required impact, it
means it is time to give yourself more importance than you usually give,
meaning a relation as that is not worth your time. Period.

March 1, 2014

She tried his number once again, but the monotonic voice on the machine answered instead of him.

It was exactly 30 days ago when he first saw her. It was an NGO. She was feeding a blind kid. His eyes were transfixed at her. He couldnt help but look at her... her smile.. her simplicity.. her face.. there was something very striking about it that made her diffirent, that made her stand apart from the others. There was something about her that hooked him immidiately. There was an instant pull...and he couldnt help but get drawn to her with each passing second.

"We have started ABS organisation. It is an online job searching portal. We are looking for an intern. Would you be interested in being a part of it ?"

The more he got to know her, the more drawn he was to her. There was an enigma about her...something that kept pulling him towards her. She was this simple-fun-loving-hard-working-intelligent girl. Nothing special in her appearance. Most of the times he saw her, she was plainly clad in a t-shirt or a kurti and denims. No make-up... a high pony... either busy on the phone or something else... never having a dull moment in her day... there was something...something... he didnt know what, but something in her that pulled him towards her.

"Here are the details, I want you to mail me the final draft by tonight."

She was so simple. Maybe it was her simplicity that attracted him...maybe something else.. he was still figuring it out. They spend most of the day together...either working or taking about work. It was a completely professional relationship. Only work...no play. But all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!

"What are you doing tonight ? I have got this amazing movie...and we can have some pizzas if you dont mind..."

Now he started knowing her. She was a completely fun-loving girl. She loved bike-rides...enjoyed long drives...was a complete foodie...she survived on chocolates...was a diet-freak... and there was something else too... she was engaged to her childhood sweeatheart.

"Have you seen this lake... its on the outskirts... not too far.. just an hour drive from here... but its a beautiful place... specially around this time...when the sun sets..."

She was beautiful. There was this calmness in her...she was so happy all the time. And now, at the lake shore, when the sun came down, painting the sky red...she looked so pure...so beautiful...so perfect. She felt like an island he longed for. With her, even the silence felt good.

"Dont.... You will fall in love with me."

She laughed everytime he said that. He knew she wouldnt fall for him. He was just a good friend to her...nothing more. A special one for sure, but thats it. He knew it would never be love... a two-sided one, between them. But that didnt stop him from hoping for it. Be positive, she always said !

"I am here for only a week now. When you are back from home, I'll be gone. Seniors first, remember."

He was graduating the very next week, and she wouldnt be here. She was going home for a short holiday. Her wedding day was closing down and she was busy with the wedding shopping. They still spoke on the phone for long hours. He knew he had to cut the chord that was slowly getting stronger day by day.

"I am sorry if I hurt you, but I wont come for your wedding. And please, dont say please..."

It was his convocation day. His family was besides him...his friends were cheering for him...the entire batch cheered and whislted for him when they announced his name in the best student category. But he felt an emptiness around him. He knew... it was now or never. He had to cut the chord. She had a different life, and he couldnt live that way. Life must move on...

"This is probably the last time we are talking. I want you to know that you are very special to me. A very special someone. And I cant be in touch with you anymore. And dont ask me for reasons... I have never given you any. I wish you be happy in your life forever. Goodbye! "