Checking in with the Ego

So yesterday I sat with this ball of rage and anger within me. It had been living in my sprained foot, slowing my healing and making itself very known every time that I tried to address my own healing.

But yesterday the ball rose up into my being and screamed for release. I wanted to yell. I wanted to throw things. I felt hot.

There was a lot that I hadn’t been saying or allowing myself to feel in there. I’ve kept going, kept meditating in the hopes that those feelings would release. But what I’ve come to is that since they were felt in the ego state I have to deal with them in the same space. No matter how Zen I become, how perfectly relaxed into my current state of being, I need to feel and acknowledge those emotions and address them to really let them go.

And so I’m checking in. Because, if I don’t check in when emotions are created in my ego then I might not let them go. I’m in my ego with a mental emotional and spiritual awareness that is more advanced by the day and I’m saying Rawr! I do not need to hold onto the hurt that was caused. I do not accept it in my life. I let it go. Writing the letter to someone who hurt you really honoring my own emotions through the process. I embrace love.

Take your own advice.

I do believe I will. And I’m going to do this by checking in when my ego self gets triggered because it is not just about knowing what hurt me it is about the process of sharing that. Don’t you always feel better after you say something? I do now. And I can accept what comes next.