1. I often find it hard to get in the mood to have sex with my long-time partner. It just seems that my life is so hectic; I can’t wind down to even consider being aroused. How can I get into the ‘zone’ so sex doesn’t feel like another chore added to the list?

Life can get pretty overwhelming as we take on more and more responsibilities. Our diaries were most likely less full (or we cleared it!) when we first met our partners, so our libido was a lot higher and having sex was more of an exploratory, sensual act than the ‘chore’ that you might be experiencing now. As time has worn on, you’ve both become used to each other and sex isn’t as new and exciting. To try and combat this lull why not try the following: Firstly, book time, like you would a doctor’s appointment, making it a definite fixture. Then why not try reading an erotic novel to get you in the mood or perhaps try massaging yourself in the bath, relaxing your body and mind, making you more receptive and open to sex. Maybe even spritz some pheromone oil onto your neck and shoulders to subtly arouse your partner into the mood! When you’re alone together, try burning and using some massage candles, exploring each other’s bodies as you sensually unwind each other day after a hard week’s work. Maybe take it up a notch with a massager, a toy that can start off on the back, neck and shoulders and perhaps end up in kinkier places later on! Feeling and being sexual is all in the mind, so focus on that first, the rest will fall into place.

2. I met a new group of ladies at my new job and heard them talking about their ‘Rabbits’ and giggling a lot. As the conversation went on I could kind of gather that it was some sort of sex toy and feel like I should have one too so I have things in common with them to talk about. What is a Rabbit and what does it do?

A Rabbit is a vibrating and rotating sex toy designed in the shape of a penis with a clitoral stimulator attached to the shaft. The name of the device (if you’re wondering) is derived from the fact that the clit stimulator looks like a pair of rabbit ears. Designed to give more intense sensations than a traditional dildo the Rabbit can be used for solo pleasure or with a partner.

3. A friend of mine was telling me the other day how much she loved “sensory play” with her partner. I’ve never heard of this before, I know it’s sexual but how do you go about doing it? Are there products that you can use?

Sensory play is a term used when introducing different sensations into bedroom play. This can range anywhere from tickling with feathers to using ice-cubes to trace the body. The clue is in the term in that you use different materials and items to trigger different sensations. This can be arousing to some and a turn-off to others, the idea is that you experiment until you find sensations that are just right for you. It can be a great way to spice up a flagging sex life! There are also products that are designed with sensory play in mind; these include ice vibrators, metal and glass dildos that you can heat up or cool down, tingling lube, nipple clamps, feather teasers and even electric pulse toys! Happy exploring!

4. I have a very high sex drive and lately have felt things starting to become looser down below. This obviously has an effect on the sensation of sex as well as other things! I’ve tried some pelvic floor exercises but have a very weak back so find it hard to do them. Is there anything else I can use to help strengthen my pelvic floor muscles?

Good news for you, there are products to help combat this! You can use ‘Kegel’ Balls which work by inserting them into the vaginal canal one by one, squeeze with your muscles around them and repeat accordingly, giving you a little internal work out. The smaller the balls you use, the harder the work out as there is, they are also weighted to give a gravitational pull. There are also vibrators now available which use electronic pulses to contract the muscles at a high speed to tighten up the area whilst additional clitoral stimulators pleasure you at the same time.

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