Bouncy House

If I’m in another city, I tend to make sure my transportation is either handled by the production company or agency I’m working for or worst case… I, myself, take care of it. I’m, for the most part, responsible. I make sure I’m independent. Don’t ask for help much. I try to do things all myself really. Therefore, it isn’t odd for me to assume other people I meet, whom are prone to traveling a lot, have their mode of movement needs in order as well when they come here. Now, let’s get one thing straight, in no way, am I a diva. I’d love to be a diva. I wish I was a diva. I’ve been told I’m the worst type of diva, actually, because I think I’m low maintenance but I’m supposedly high maintenance. Yeah, a dude told me that. Clearly, he just didn’t understand me. I’m super easygoing. And, if I do say so myself, I’m pretty damn normal. Thing is, I have been stuck in other cities without a horse and buggy. And it sucks. I’ve missed jobs I had booked because of no conveyance or someone couldn’t cart me around. Sort of kills the whole fun of the joyride really. I love what I do too damn much to miss out on work because of no trucking or to get screwed because I was dependent on someone else’s shitty word that they’d deliver me there.

Back to the point. I met this really hot guy who rings me up to say he’s in my city. Cool. He’s hot. He’s sexy. He was… uh fun. At least in his city he was super fun. But, he did realize, I didn’t care to be his little playtime buddy, more than just that one time… right? For the record guys, not all of you are considered “relationship material.” Not trying to be mean or be a whore, for that matter… Facts are facts. Sometimes girls just need a fun-time bouncy house. And, if you’re fun-time bouncy house guy, that’s all you’re ever going to be to us. Maybe look at the bright side of this… be happy she took her shoes off before bouncing?

Problem number one: He expects me to drive to him. First of all, you’re the man. You have the penis. Man up and pick up a lady for a date. I’m not desperate for your little dick. Didn’t you tell me you “own” multiple establishments. You ARE out here for business with one of YOUR establishments, aren’t you? Hmmm… I’ve deducted that he’s probably making it up. He doesn’t have anything but a baby momma and a dream. He’s probably here visiting his long lost kids he forgot to mention.

Problem number two: He doesn’t get a rental car while in my city. Secondly, he explains that he has his “staff” come pick him up to do what he needs to do. Um, how did you plan on seeing me? Oh, I should come stay the night with you? Right. Sorry, lazy ass. Have the baby mama pick you up. You know, the one I made up. Because, otherwise, none of this make sense.

And last, but certainly not least…Problem number three: I make my final attempt to string ourselves up together as he texts me about dangling along later in the evening. Now I smell a booty call people… read my post a few weeks back on how I feel about texting and dating, this totally falls into that category. Which, by the way, I wasn’t entirely opposed to until he decided that I should be doing all the work. Sorry sucker, not gonna happen. I let him know, kindly, that he can come to me and I’m excited about having a good time. Obviously, this is a setup. I know he isn’t going to come to me. I’m just making sure I’ve pretty much got this douche bag’s proverbial number.

Him: I don’t have a car!And as I read this another text slides through…Him: Just forget it

Me: Don’t worry babes, I forgot you after you said you didn’t have a car.