The Giant comes out to start the show and uses cigarette metaphors to challenge Sting and whoever he wants as his partner (oh I don’t know, maybe Kevin Nash?) for the WCW world tag titles. Giant doesn’t mention who his partner will be. Vincent is standing there with him, but I highly doubt Giant will pick Vincent.

Raven’s Rules: Raven & Sick Boy (w/Lodi) vs. Public Enemy

Public Enemy BUM RUSH THE SHOW on Raven and Sick Boy while Raven is spouting off about Kanyon. The PE shine until Raven backs Grunge into the corner to break up a sleeperhold. Yes, an actual hold. Even Heenan remarks that they know how to do a hold. Raven and Sick Boy beat up Grunge for a while. Hot tag to Rocco, he bumps to the floor with Sick Boy. Lodi gets in the ring. Raven pulls him in the way to get avalanched by Grunge. Meanwhile, Raven saves Sick Boy from getting squashed through a table by crotching Rocco. As he goes to the floor to pull Sick Boy off the table, SATURN appears and wallops Raven with a chrome object of some sort before SPLASHING him through the table! The crowd is going nuts for this. Back in the ring, Public Enemy deliver the DRIVE-BY to Sick Boy and that’s all she wrote. (5:02) This was a fun mess – at least the final minute or so. *

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart)

Brooding Eddie is pretty awesome. Morrus overpowers to start until Guerrero goes low with a dropkick to the knee. Eddie manages a hurracanrana and goes back to the leg with a Hilo to the knee. As he twists on the leg, the crowd starts chanting for Chavo. That throws Eddie off his game as Morrus kicks him away. Morrus comes back with a press slam, but then he sells the knee. He misses a flying elbow drop allowing Eddie to deliver his patented Brainbuster. Jimmy Hart tries to whack Guerrero with a chair to stop the Frog Splash until Chavo Guerrero walks down to talk some nonsense. Meanwhile, Eddie is telling to shut up and leave. Chavo punches Jimmy down as Eddie flies down into a powerslam from Morrus to set up the NO LAUGHING MATTER for the win. (5:03) We get more of the same as Chavo scares Eddie back to the dressing room. *½

WCW Saturday Night! Watch it – IF YOU WILL! 6:05PM eastern time! TBS! Only one hour this week! No stars are mentioned to appear. But hey, it’s the MUTHASHIP! Take it to the PAY WINDAH, baby!

Sting and Konnan come out to answer the Giant’s challenge. Konnan does his thing so we can get on the serious tip. He says Kevin Nash isn’t here tonight. The WCW tag titles will be on the line tonight, but Lex Luger will be his partner instead. Well, that seems kind of awkward for Konnan, amirite?

Mike Tenay tries to get an interview with Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit backstage, but he’s told that they need to have a private meeting right now. Despite their “private conversation”, the camera still points at them and picks up what they are saying. Benoit is talking to Arn about reforming the Four Horsemen. Once the cameraman gets caught, he runs away because ARN FREAKING ANDERSON told you to leave! Is it possible they wanted to restart the Four Horsemen without Ric Flair?

Stevie Ray vs. Sumo Fuji

Sumo Fuji is one of the Ultimo Dragon’s students. However, this might be one of the laziest wrestling names ever. Anybody out there reading who watches Dragon Gate will recognize him as Don Fujii. Stevie Ray says that tonight he’s going to show his brother how to “knock a sucka out”. Bobby Heenan marks out for that last segment where the cameraman stuck around even after he wasn’t welcome anymore. It’s a real fruit booty beating until he delivers the SLAPJACK for the win at 2:29. The Slapjack is like a lifting Pedigree.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. Zzzz…

Chris Jericho tears up a “Jericholic” sign on the way to the ring. This is our first look at Jericho since he got his belt back the night after the Great American Bash. He’s now clean shaven Chris Jericho! JJ Dillon heads out to tell him that he will defend his cruiserweight title at the Bash at the Beach against Dean Malenko.

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Ultimo Dragon

No mention from our esteemed commentators that this was a title match, but ref Jimmy Jett did hold the title up in the air before the bell. After the initial headlock and headscissors holds, they run the ropes for tons of back and forth counters. Dragon does his headstand on the top turnbuckle and kicks Jericho away. Jericho comes back with a jawbreaker and kicks Dragon in the face a few times before we go to commercial. When we come back, Jericho hits the running senton splash. He tries the Lionsault, but Dragon shoots up and dropkicks him. Dragon surprises Jericho with an Asai Moonsault into the DRAGON SLEEPER, but Jericho knees out of it. We go to the floor where Dragon executes an actual Asai Moonsault. Back inside, there’s a rollup exchange. Jericho catches Dragon with a Tiger Suplex, but only gets two. Dragon escapes the LIONTAMER and delivers his Kick Combo. The DRAGON SLEEPER comes soon enough in the middle of the ring. Dean Malenko runs down in jean shorts and boots to stomp the life out of Jericho for the DQ. (5:58 shown) Dragon grabs Malenko because he just cost him the cruiserweight title, but Malenko is so on fire that he immediately tosses Dragon. Meanwhile, Jericho runs out of the building with Malenko following after him. Good match! ***

They show a Thunder Ringside Release featuring a trailer for the movie “Small Soldiers” which premieres July 10 in theaters everywhere!

Eric Bischoff brings out Scott Steiner for a fancy sit-down interview. Bischoff still thinks being a thespian is a funny joke because he isn’t saying it right. They show a clip of Scott Steiner destroying Public Enemy by himself with the B&W effect. Since he wants to be an Arnold Schwarzenegger, a John Wayne, and a Clark Gable, they never had their brother hanging around. He says Rick Steiner was too stupid to join the nWo. Scott wraps it up saying Rick can watch him make it big out in Hollywood where he doesn’t have a brother holding him back.

Diamond Dallas Page calls into the show. He calls Tony “T-Bone”, which REALLY cracked me up. He’s in Salt Lake City right now. He and Karl Malone will be driving an 18-wheeler to Tampa for Nitro and dares Hollywood Hogan to bring Dennis Rodman as well.

The Barbarian vs. Jim Duggan

You know, I enjoy watching mindless matches like these sometimes. THEY BE CLUBBERIN’, TONY. Hugh Morrus comes out to toss Barb the 2×4, but Duggan drills Barb with the Three Point Stance and destroys him with OLD GLORY (the knee drop) for the win in 3:58.

Chris Jericho is backstage setting trends fifteen years ahead of his time with that man bun. He tells Ultimo Dragon that it was Dean Malenko’s fault that he lost the cruiserweight title. As he tries to get Dragon to go talk to JJ Dillon, Dean Malenko finds him and chases him away. What a life Chris Jericho leads.

Chris Benoit & Steve McMichael vs. Alex Wright & Disco Inferno

This is the debut of the Dancing Fools tag team, but they have separate entrances so they can dance to their individual style of music. Interesting fact: the last time these two teamed together was during Battlebowl at Slamboree 1996 when they lost to Dick Slater and Bobby Eaton. My how times have changed. Wright escapes a headlock from Benoit with a back suplex and puts the boots to him. Now is not the time to dance though! He gets chopped and Disco gets chopped. Benoit grabs Disco and suplexes him over the top to the floor while Mongo takes out Wright with a three-point stance. As the Dancing Fools regroup, we take a commercial break. When we come back, Benoit destroys Disco with more chops. Crowd wants Flair as do I. Tag to Mongo, he delivers a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Back to Benoit, he gets put on the wrong side of town as Wright helps out. Benoit pulls Disco down into the Crippler Crossface, but Wright immediately stomps him. Disco grabs Benoit and delivers an inverted atomic drop to set up a spinning heel kick from Wright. Nice! However, Wright thinks he wants to get into a chop battle with Benoit and loses. Disco tags in and fist drops Benoit. More chops from Benoit, but Disco drop toeholds him and tags out. Wright delivers a back suplex for two. Slingshot splash gets two. Back over to Disco, he misses a flying elbow drop. Benoit gives him a release German suplex and hot tags Mongo. As the match breaks down, Mongo slams Wright and kicks him out of the ring. That leaves Disco to take a AA Spinebuster (kinda) to set up the SWANDIVE HEADBUTT from Benoit. The CRIPPLER CROSSFACE taps out Disco for the win. (10:36 shown) That was actually quite fun. Disco and Wright looked like they have some promise. Now we could just get the tag titles off these stars and make stars out of the tag teams, we’d be GOOD. **½

Michael Buffer in the house for Thunder! He says Brian Adams was picked personally for this match by Hollywood Hogan. Tony tells us we are in overtime right now. Apparently the Giant is nicking and can’t light his cigarette, so he runs after Sting and Luger. After Lex gets rid of Adams, he and Sting backdrop the Giant over the top rope. Once nWo Hollywood regroups, Giant corners Sting and brings him out for a Russian legsweep. Sting avoids a corner charge and starts punching. The Giant shoves him away a few times, but Sting keeps coming at him until Giant drills him with a clothesline. Giant hits one elbow drop, but misses a second one. Hot tag to Luger, he hits his clotheslines on Adams. The Bionic Forearm is followed by the TORTURE RACK! Sting is able to stop the Giant as Adams submits. (4:23) After the bell, Curt Hennig and Rick Rude appear to do a 5-on-2 beatdown. Konnan is absolutely no help. The crowd wants Goldberg, but no Goldberg tonight. *

Until next time, so long for now.

WCW/nWo: Bash at the BeachSunday, July 12, 1998 from the Cox Arena in San Diego, CA @ 7PM EST