If you’re stuck in preppy, affluent Newport, RI for say, a conference or a visit with an old friend, you may feel like your only option is to embrace the preppy affluence and just tour mansions in your khakis, and then board a yacht for some chardonnay at sunset. There are a few things to do that are slightly more interesting than this in Newport, but all-in-all, the best way to see Newport is drink in hand, embracing the ridiculous boat-shoe-wearing, 8-hr-workweek life you’ll never live yourself.

1. Start the first day with lunch at the clam shack Flo’s, near Easton beach, then walk to the start of the Cliff Walk at the other end of the beach, following the full 3+ miles of coastline and mansions, past the 40 steps and Salve Regina (which has to be the most gorgeous college campus in the world). If beachside cocktails are more your style, head to the Atlantic Beach Club’s beach bar across from Flo’s. If you’re lucky, a beach volleyball game will be in process.
2. Drive Bellevue and Ocean Drive (pit stops at the Breakers or Rosecliff for tours), then, to imagine the lifestyle you’ve just glimpsed, head to Castle Hill Resort for cocktails on white adirondac chairs outdoors on a plush green lawn that slopes to the boat-filled ocean. Now its time to tick off Mansions from the mandatory Newport to-do list…
6. Browse all the Island named establishments: Island Books is great, as is Island Cinema…then head to the Wharves (Bowens, etc) for some nautical shopping or to pick up some fresh fish at the market on the dock (another great spot for a boat-side cocktail – keep ’em coming).
8. If you head back to Newport for something like the folk festival at Fort Adams (I highly recommend this, albeit a dry event…you can still float nearby in your boat), then be sure to avoid the accidental $8 crossing of the Pell bridge…google maps will trick you every time.
7. In the historic district you’ll find independent coffee shops, Schmear bagels, an art house cinema, many well maintained historic houses, and the oldest pub in the USA, The White Horse Tavern. By far the most interesting part of Newport.
3. Dinner is a must at Talulah on Thames, or the newest farm-to-table spot TSK (Thames Street Kitchen), both of which serve fresh, seasonal, inventive and endlessly tasty cuisine. TSK is BYO, which can be a plus with all the nice wine stores in town.
4. For a more casual dinner, head to the hip block of Thames St to Firehouse, followed by cocktails and dessert at next door Asterisk (which bottles it’s own flavored vodkas). Then head down the road to ultra-mod cocktail house Christie’s, where you can imbibe outdoors or in a swing-chair. Cold-fusion gelato is nearby, too, if you need it.
5. What NOT to do? I was very excited that Newport had its own rhumerie (Tew), but when we arrived 10min before closing we were turned away rum-less. Later, barkeeps told us the rum wasn’t worth a taste anyway. So there.

According to a lunatic, tomorrow is the official end of days. I can’t pretend this is going to be pleasant for everyone, as only the good will be sucked into heaven, but don’t let that get you down! It looks like the rest of us are going to have five months after tomorrow’s devastating earthquakes until the official end of the world in October. These are the most common New Year’s Resolutions, and I think this is the perfect opportunity to get them all done.

Get a Better CareerEveryone will be starting over, so now you can establish yourself in any job that you want. Always wanted to lead your own rebel group? Now is your chance. Not into upper management? Go rogue, be your own boss. Just want to bum around and read? As long as you blockade yourself in a stronghold, I don’t see why you can’t do that. Assuming you are left behind, you can now be whatever you want to be.

Try New Things
Were you resolved to branch out this year? Your options may be limited, but just change your attitude. I have always said that one person’s steak tartare is another’s apocalypse raccoon meat. Perhaps this isn’t the year that you learn a new language, but you could spend more time in museums. Plus, there are bathrooms and thick walls in those places.

There is something about the sleek black metal, the over-sized upright frame, the click of the keys, and ding when you reach the end of a line….old fashioned typewriters may have been functionally superseded by computers, but their ergonomic and aesthetic functions will never be replaced.

My 3 favorite old fashioned typewriters

1. Underwood

upright and fabulous

The Underwood typewriter was first produced in 1895 by John Underwood, who was the son of a typewriter ribbon manufacturer. These typewriters, including one my grandmother used to type up news stories for her local newspaper, dominated the market for decades, and are nearly worthless today, even as an antique. But regardless of value, these typewriters are certainly handsome.

Birthers believe that Obama wasn’t born in the US, Creationists believe in a divine story of why humans walk the Earth, conspiracy theorists conspire, psuedoscientific claims abound, alien watchers scope the skies, and people spend fortunes on psychic chat lines. Why do we want to believe so badly, that we ignore the convincing evidence to the contrary? Sure, this is a controversial topic, and my list could be a top 500 instead of a top 5, but here we go…

Top things we believe, despite mountains of data disproving them:

1. Psychics, Aura readers, Reiki practitioners and the like. The most troubling aspect of these beliefs is the money they cost. All these treatments are expensive (as are any “medical” treatments that may accompany them – see #5 below), and despite centuries trying to prove that the supernatural is super natural, there is not an inch of data to support it. The most outrageous claim? Psychic water, of course. One interesting aspect of these examples is the phenomenon where people cling even tighter to beliefs when they are challenged, or when their doubts are raised.

2. Where are we in the solar system? As the film “A Private Universe” uniquely displays, many intelligent children can’t wrap their minds around the solar system, how seasons occur, and what causes an eclipse. Is it a failure of the educational system? A short-circuit in our cognition? Or is it exemplary of our willingness to believe what is comfortable and easy, instead of what is real?

Science and medicine are full of Latin phraseology. Sure, I have to say these words on a day-to-day basis to communicate with my peers. But to sound like a real Ass, I could also start throwing these around in general conversation:

1. A priori/a Posteriori/ad hoc

You think that shirt will look nice with those pants? That is a priori knowledge, you better try it on first.