It can be difficult to watch a co-worker be put down by another co-worker. This behavior can have an effect on the mood of the entire office. To help minimize the damage of this dynamic, you can stand up for your co-worker, get support from other employees, and report any serious or ongoing situations.

Steps

Method 1 of 3:

Standing Up For Your Co-Worker

1

Identify signs of bullying. If you suspect that a co-worker is being bullied, you may want to start paying attention to see if there are other instances of bullying that are occurring. In addition to insults and putting down others, workplace bullying might include:

Consistently ignoring certain people in common spaces or during meetings

Speak up. Whenever you hear a co-worker putting another co-worker down, stand up for them. Make it clear to the bully that you have your co-worker’s back. Your co-worker’s bully may back down if you call out their behavior. Still, remember that you are in a work environment, so be professional and polite.[1]XResearch source

Talk to the affected co-worker. Before you take action, you should speak to the affected co-worker to see how they feel about the situation. Get their perspective on the issue. Keep in mind that while you may consider this behavior bullying, the affected co-worker may just take it as a joke or they may not care. Ask them if they want help, and respect their wishes if they do not want you to get involved.

You might say, "Hey, I've noticed that Angela has been pretty hard on you lately. Is everything ok?"

Have a private discussion with the bully. After you witness a co-worker putting another co-worker down, you can confront the bully in a private setting. Step into their office or cubby and have a face-to-face conversation. Again, be polite and professional.

Try saying, “I heard you talking about Tom’s work today in a way that sounded condescending. From my perspective, he is the best IT person we have. How about we keep the language in the office more positive rather than negative?”

Offer your co-worker advice. Your co-worker may need support in order to stand up to their bully. They may think that they are exaggerating the situation or being overly sensitive. Let your co-worker know that you see the bullying and that you do not think it is appropriate. Advise them to stand up for themselves or to report the bullying to a supervisor or HR. Your advice might be the support that they need to stand up to the bully.

Tell your co-worker, “I heard Matt putting you down during our meeting yesterday. I definitely thought that it was unprofessional. Have you talked to him about it?”

Talk to other coworkers about the situation. Make them aware of their co-worker’s negative behavior and have them keep watch. If the bullying continues to happen there will be more people aware and willing to stand up for the victim. This will also give the victim more support. Be careful to keep the tone positive and focused on supporting the victim. Creating a resentful tone toward the person bullying will only make matters worse.

Discuss the situation with your supervisor. Privately discuss your co-worker’s bullying with your supervisor. The supervisor may have a discussion with the bully to try to put an end to the bullying. It is also good for the supervisor to understand any situations that might be hindering your coworker’s performance.[2]XResearch source

Say something like “May I speak with you privately? I need to talk to you about an uncomfortable situation that is happening in the office.”

The supervisor may not want to get involved and ask that you speak with someone at HR.

The supervisor may request that your co-worker who is the victim bring this to their attention.

Your supervisor may ask you to report as a witness to the bullying, should your co-worker file a complaint.

Stand up to the bullying together. Make an agreement with your other co-workers that when one person stands up to the bullying, another will chime in. This way, multiple people are standing up for the victim each time. This will let the bully know that it putting down their co-workers will not be tolerated.

It is not uncommon for a bully to start undermining the work of several people, so standing up for each other will improve everyone’s moral.

Document everything. Before you report any workplace bullying that is happening, you should have clear documentation of the bullying. Be sure to include dates, times, people present, and the action or words that were said.[3]XResearch source

For example, if the comment makes you or your co-worker uncomfortable, you might report an incident where one co-worker is shouting at another “This work is trash! Start over, and try not to mess it up again.”

Give the co-worker a verbal warning. Before you report any bullying to HR it is important to give the co-worker who is bullying a verbal warning. After you tell the bully to stop their behavior, make sure that you document when and where you talked to your co-worker. This may stop their behavior and not require you to proceed further.[4]XResearch source

Say something like “You have to stop putting Linda down. She works hard, and it makes things awkward for everyone when you put her down. If you keep it up, I’m going to say something to HR.”

Take the matter to HR. Take a look at your employee handbook and gain an understanding of the procedures. Be sure to take your documentation and evidence into the meeting with your HR representative. Explain how this behavior is impacting you, your co-workers, and your workplace.[5]XResearch source

If others have noticed the bullying, encourage them to back you up and report the issue to HR as well.