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Insecure people often reveal their self-doubt without being aware of it. Indeed, a wise observer can “read” another individual. For example, members of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra have told me they can tell whether a new conductor is competent and talented within 10 minutes of the beginning of their first rehearsal with him. What follows is a short list of behaviors that suggest insecurity:

1. Are you able to give a compliment? Even more important, can you graciously accept one? The latter behavior tends to be difficult for someone who is unsure of himself. He might blush or become flustered. Alternatively, he is prone to dismiss the validity of the praise, instead telling you why it isn’t true. What should one do if complimented? Smile and say “Thank you.” Nothing more.

2. The ability to maintain eye contact is hard for many individuals who lack confidence. They will turn away or look down, but rarely hold the gaze of the other by looking into his or her eyes.

3. The self-doubting person tends to apologize when no apology is necessary. It is as if she expects to be reproached or is afraid to give offense; so, she prophylactically tries to excuse any possible mistake to avoid such a response.

4. Answering a question with an upward inflection of the voice has been done by everyone. The person being questioned doesn’t have certainty about his answer, so he replies with a tone betraying his insecurity. Since I originally wrote this piece, a name has been given to the practice: upspeak.

5. Men and women who are uncomfortable with sharing personal information for fear of being judged will oft-times turn the conversation to a different topic, away from anything that might make them vulnerable or reveal too much. This is also called “changing the subject.”

6. One way of inoculating yourself against criticism is to joke at your own expense. Do this often and others may conclude you believe you are flawed.

7. Do you have trouble making a decision? The comedy team “Cheech and Chong” (I’m not sure which one) said: “Taking responsibility is a lot of responsibility.” If you automatically let others choose the restaurant, movie, and other activity, you are either easy-going and good-natured or don’t want to be held accountable for making the wrong choice.

8. Do you state strong opinions? Those who avoid doing so might maintain the peace — often a good thing — but some fear drawing fire and unwanted attention.

Before I give you nine more signs of insecurity, I’ll say what might cause the condition. Many possibilities. Critical or neglectful parents, poor academic skills, frequent moves making you “the new kid” (especially if you are introverted by nature), learning disabilities and ADHD, being “different” in some fashion (size, shape, color, religion), thinking of yourself as the “poor” kid in a community of the affluent, sensing you are the average child in a school filled with bright youngsters, feeling ashamed of your parents or residence, frequent rejections, getting fired (whether deserved or not), clumsiness, a history of abuse or bullying; physical unattractiveness, deformity, or injury, etc. For a more thorough discussion of these causes, click here: The Causes of Insecurity. Now back to the list of signs of insecurity:

9. Do you laugh nervously in social situations? It is another behavior betraying self-consciousness.

10. People will appraise you harshly if they see you bite your nails or they appear bitten.

11. Are you self-effacing, placing yourself at a disadvantage — letting others go first, speak first — reluctant to raise your hand? Do you hesitate to take your turn? Do you sacrifice your interests as a matter of course? Insecurity can make you wait until the opportunity before you is lost. Excessive deference displays little regard for yourself, even if some amount can be a sign of good breeding and consideration.

12. Are you nervous eating in front of others? Do you fear dropping something, displaying poor table manners, or making a mess? You probably won’t, at least not more than the rest of us.

13. Can you make phone calls without trepidation; especially those in which you need to introduce yourself, correct a problem, or speak to an authority? Too much discomfort in anticipation of these actions can reveal your sense of uncertainty.

14. Might you make too many excuses? Those who are unsure give explanations where none are required. Imagine you order an entrée at an elegant restaurant and the waiter asks whether you want an appetizer to start. You explain why you don’t. Some folks offer multiple excuses for what they do, anticipating criticism. If you must give a reason, limit yourself to one. The more you give, the more uncertain (or dishonest) you sound. For example, “I can’t come to the party because I have a stomach ache and my car broke and I need to study.” One reason will be more convincing. You needn’t explain yourself as often as you think.

15. Insecurity can be suggested by hesitation to ask for a favor or an inability to say “no.” Anticipation of rejection or disapproval is the motivator for both of these problems with self-assertion. By contrast, a self-assured person will not believe the relationship (or his own value) is dependent upon going along with someone else’s wishes or fulfilling the desires of others as a matter of routine.

16. Do you make frequent requests for reassurance? A few examples: “Does that make sense?” “What do you think?” “What would you do?” “Do you think that is a good idea?” “Do I look OK?” Must you have sex to prove your partner remains interested in you? If you are self-assured, you won’t implore your lover to calm your doubts and remind you, over and over, in words and deeds, of your desirability or intelligence.

17. Last one. Here insecurity takes a different form. This person wants the spotlight at all times, the better to be told “You are the fairest of them all!” She or he pushes for recognition, strutting about the stage we call life; checking to see where he stands and what others think of him. Bragging and display become a full-time job. Perhaps he was the class clown in grade school, but now he drops names to prove his importance and get your attention. His inner emptiness must be filled and refilled, like a bucket with a hole in it. Such people are plagued by narcissism as well as insecurity, a troublesome combination. There is hell to pay for those who expose the pretender’s flaws: lacerating attacks against any critics. If you are this variety of insecure person, I doubt you will admit it even to yourself. If you meet such an individual, run!

I suspect you get the idea. Please add an item if you like. You can use the list in one of two ways: to consider whether you are insecure or evaluate the confidence of those around you. Of course, you are the only one whose self-confidence you can change.

The best thing to remember that insecurity is a form of pride masquerading as something which is fundamentally low self-regard. Insecure people lack humility: they think of themselves over and over again, exaggerating their flaws, and projecting the awkward delusion that others are focused on them as much as they are on themselves.

I agree that those who are insecure are preoccupied with the impression that they are making. As you say, few people pay as much attention to us as we do to ourselves, whether we are insecure or not. Thank you for you comment.

Absolutely. Each person has experienced life in a multitude of different ways, negative experiences being the ones influencing our current behavior. The thing that agitates one person won’t have any effect on another person, whatsoever.

Keep in mind that hurtful experiences can and mist likely will make the most good in natured person, act in improper ways.

I am definitely insecure and egotistical. This was helpful, especially of the comment that people (me) like this think of themselves over and over again and think others are focused on them (me) – it is a delusion I will try to counter in myself.

It finally hit me.I’ve been insecure all most all my life and I’ve just been rejecting it. When I’m in my classes I feel like everybody is staring at me,just waiting on me to mess up.I feel the urge to be perfect, even though I know you can’t.Thank you for wrighting this, it really changed my outlook on life.

omg… all my friends can see that im insecure and im trying to change and ive been insecure all my life and i need help. I read this biography and i totally understand and im going to take the advice that u have wriiten in this passage.

I’m afraid that I don’t have a short answer for this, Kim. But, here are a few things to consider: 1. Might you benefit from psychotherapy? 2. Do you need particular help in self-assertion and should that be a part of the treatment? 3. Do important people in your life, past or present, tend to undermine your confidence? If so, that would then become another issue to address in the course of trying to change yourself. I’ve written a number of blog posts that deal with pieces of your question, just in case you’d care to spend some time reading my thoughts on one or another aspect of the way to overcome insecurity. Good luck!

It depends, Patricia. If you are inquiring to find out more about a person’s life, you simply might be a good conversationalist. But, if you are asking that person (and others) questions about how to lead your life, whether you look good, whether your ideas make sense, whether others are talking about you — behavior like that probably suggests some insecurity. It is impossible for me to say for certain, of course, because I do not know you and haven’t seen what you are describing.

Thank you Dr. Stein for the wonderful insight on insecure traits. I am still wondering though, is creating a multitude of “beauty shot” photos of one’s self a sign of insecurity? My lady friend does this & also displays some of the other traits listed.

You are welcome, Jeff. I can’t answer your question with certainty, but it might be the insecurity you describe. Another possibility is narcissism. Does she seem too full of herself? Is she able to get outside of herself and a preoccupation with her beauty? Does she have a capacity for selflessness, compassion, and generosity? Hope this helps. Many thanks for reading and commenting.

Thanks again for your prompt reply. No, she displays more low self-esteem than being full of herself. She does continually question or believes she looks inadequate. Yes, she does frequently display the giving attributes you mentioned. We now live apart after 2 yrs. of cohabitation. That’s not helping her insecurity about our relationship or my fidelity.

Wow, much of these describe me. I’ve had some major insecurity issues this past year, and have gotten to the point where I just wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there, this past spring. I am still pretty insecure, as much as I’d like to believe I changed, I really haven’t. I quit something that I loved, I find myself with excessive excuses when I decide that I have to tell someone something that I think will disappoint them. If someone doesn’t say hi to me one day, I think that they don’t like me. If I think that someone doesn’t like me, my feelings get really hurt and I will try to avoid seeing that person as best I can, even if it means quitting something that I really enjoy. When I first meet people that I really like and want to be friends with, I tend to back away sometimes because I think that they don’t want to be my friend, and I’m not good enough to be friends with them. When I do approach them, I feel really nervous and my face, neck and ears get very hot. As a child I was always very shy, and not at all talkative.

I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both
equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very
happy I found this in my search for something concerning
this.

This is absolutely true, I am a very insecure person.. At least when it comes to my image. That being, personal problems that I find ugly or flaws within me (on my body), yet I don’t know how to overcome them, because I feel that my significant other (whoever it might be) will not accept me this way.
I am not ugly, or bad looking at all, in fact I get dozens of compliments, but that is because all my flaws are hidden.
What can I do?

If you have hidden your innermost self from everyone, then it is likely that sharing “who you really are” would be risky. In therapy with a good therapist, you might find it safe enough to begin to do this, and eventually extend this risk taking to others in your life, until finally you had built some confidence that you have value. If there is a history that contributes to this, that also would be something a therapist will likely work on with you. Best of luck in this process.

Thank you so much! And its not that I hide who I am, my personality always comes out, and I always feel like myself, being honest with everyone I meet and know.
But when it comes to intimacy or anything related with “showing the body” is when I get insecure due to my self-consciousness about my flaws.

One additional comment. In order to find someone to help, you might consult the websites of the American Psychological Association, the Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and the National Register of Health Care Providers in Psychology.

Dr. Stein – Hello from a loyal reader! I have a boss (female, nearly 65 yrs. old) who has no professional training or experience in her current position. That is, she’s the Global Director of X and doesn’t know the first thing about X. I’ve noticed that whenever I send her a news item about X, she responds by saying: “Oh, I already knew that” or “Yes, I’m very familiar with that.” Do you think that she’s trying to cover up her ignorance by making these assertions? Thanks! Yosef

It certainly does sound as though she needs to “one-up” you, Yosef. Of course, there are some people who are so “full of themselves” that they actually do believe that they are more talented than others. But your interpretation sounds very plausible. Thanks your reading and for your comment.

There is some really good information here, especially just discovering much of this. How does one know where the distinction line of multiple insecurities and social anxiety disorder are? They seem to cross each other by descriptions.

The difference has to do with self-evaluation (about your inadequacies) which is essentially an overly critical attitude toward yourself vs. anxiety; that is, what you think of yourself vs. becoming nervous in social situations (or too nervous to enter into those situations). I agree that there is much overlap here. Hope this helps. Thanks for your comment, Jason.

It is a common problem, Daniel. It that is the only thing that you could identify with, the good news is that you seem to have only one target to tackle, assuming that it is something that bothers you. Good luck!

I see so much of my husband in this, but when I try to build him up, he acts like I’m obligated to compliment him because I’m his wife. I’ve tried to explain that as his wife, not his mom, I chose to marry him and I choose to stay because he’s my favorite person. Sometimes I think this is an internal resource built from within.

Thank you for commenting. It does take a certain amount of will in order to become confident about those things that make most of us uncertain. While acclaim and approval will reinforce it, increased security often comes from taking some small risks, having a bit of success, and building on that. Therapy can frequently help with this. Best wishes to you and your husband.

OMG,honestly doc I fink ΰ r talking abt me. I’m so insecure that its affecting my marriage. I can’t seem to trust my husband(faithful one at that) cos in τ̣̣ђё past he dealt wit ds girl but nothing intimate happened jus that he had affections 4 her. I jus feel he sees other girls on weekends (which isn’t true) cos of that past experience. Wat do I do? He has complained severally that its jus mi feelings but I stil feel insecure. He really treats me special I must say but yet can’t do otherwise. Pls help doc,I’m in that part of the world where we don’t hav a therapist aside in church(counsellors). Pls reply. Many thanks sir as I await your reply

It would not be unusual for a man to find someone else attractive. We were built to reproduce and men do notice other women, as women do notice other attractive men. So the question is, does he go beyond that point to some sort of sexual relationship outside the marriage? If he doesn’t, then the church counselors (if they are good at counseling) can be a resource for you. If not, you might have to search the internet for therapists who are willing to talk to you on the phone or by Skype (I am not one who does that) or read self-help books on building your self-confidence. But I would say that even if you need to travel some distance, it would be best to find a good therapist to meet with face-to-face.

I have a cousin who is twenty years old, he just cannot keep his mouth shut, he butts in on every conversation and has to either argue what your saying or make a laugh out of it. He still lives at home with his Mom and Dad and he treats them terrible, he calls his Dad terrible names and is so rude to his Mom and his siblings. I’m seventeen years older than him and I ended up having to walk out one night because the minute I started to talk to my Aunt he butted in with a criticism, I told him, “I’m not talking to you” and he just kept it up. The worse thing is they let him away with it and try to laugh off what he is saying as a joke. People are just sick of him at this stage. I have not been to their house since, which was two months ago and they haven’t asked why, and I know it is because they do not want to confront him over his behavior.

Sounds like a difficult situation, Dennis. First, you’ve come up with at least a partial solution: avoid him. It seems as though the cost of this — not going to your Uncle and Aunt’s home — is something you resent, as well as their desire not to see him for who he is. So, if I understand the situation correctly, you’d like three people to change. As a therapist (retired version) I can tell you that it is hard enough to get one person to change and only then when the individual actually wants to. Sometimes it helps to talk about such things with sympathetic friends, sometimes it helps to write about it in a journal. It rarely helps to try to get the last written or spoken word with people who don’t want to listen. So, in a way, you have a grieving process ahead of you, perhaps, to deal with what you’ve lost or what you can’t have. Or, to take a more Zen perspective, an opportunity to learn patience or other strategies of dealing with difficult people who won’t see what is plainly before their eyes. Please don’t take what I’ve written as advice — I’d need to know you personally to give you that, so I can’t be sure that what I’ve said will fit for you. But I hope there is something in what I’ve written that may help. It doesn’t sound fair, but the only person whose life you have control of is your own, and it is your response to your relatives that you have the only probable chance of changing. Again, limiting contact is sometimes the best one can do. Good luck with this.

I totally agree with you, more times people are more annoyed with my Uncle and Aunt, they don’t want to start conflict in their home and will ask them to sort him out, to which they get a reply of, “just give him a box”, and they certainly know that will not happen, although we have all wanted to. So as you say, unfortunately it has to be a stay away situation. He is so smug and smirky when he is doing it as he knows nothing will be said to him, also when he is carrying on like this, he starts to position himself in all different angles on the chair, it’s like he has a bee up his backside and starts moving his hands all over his face and head.

We don’t get to choose our relatives, as all of us know very well. I’ve met very few people, in or out of therapy, who don’t have someone in their family who is a pain. As Sartre said, “Hell is other people,” but we’d be awfully lonely without the best of them. Take care.

Does insecurity in adults manifest itself as a need to flea love when the individual does not find themselves worthy of it. I have had experiences where I am so afraid of the emotions I feel in a new relationship that I have an initial urge to leave and not return. I usually talk myself out of it and try to reassure myself but recently I have been on the receiving end of this behavior and feel the other individual is insecure about the relationship and has felt the need to protect themselves. This particular individual was criticized a lot as a child by a controlling father and humiliation was used as a punishment. I have known this person since grade school and have recently been in contact again.

Thanks for your comment, Jessica. Certainly if one believes oneself to be unworthy of love, avoidance or flight are ways that some people deal with it. As others have said, dating involves a kind of dance. Ideally, the increase of positive emotions progresses at close to the same rate in both parties. If one hasn’t felt those feelings in a long time (or perhaps ever) they can seem pretty threatening. Generally, forcing the issue with an insecure person like that can actually increase their chance of flight. If your friend was badly damaged early in life, he might need to heal those wounds before he is ready for intimacy. Of course, I can’t say anything about your relationship directly, but can only speak in a general way. You are, in any case, the only person you are in charge of. Good luck in dealing with this.

Hello Dr. Stein, greetings from Tel Aviv. I just wanted to compliment you on your interesting newsletters, written in simple, easy to understand language. This one was really good. I also like your comments about classical music.

What to do when he hides watching porn , not only that but what he likes to watch ? . Not only does it make me feel insecure about myself but maybe he likes what he watches instead of me and it seems he would rather watch that than have sex.

Surely this is the sort of thing that would make many people insecure. Assuming that he has been told it bothers you and he has refused to change, it is the sort of problem best discussed in therapy, whether it is marital therapy or individual treatment.

body trama is due to events in ones history. pain and suffering can result. talk theropy can relieve, buy it is impossible to divorce ones events in the past,chemical management can help. our brain retains the pain of the past. it is imposable to not be influenced by our experiences in our past. repeating our scrip from the past of our experiences. deep emotional trama stays with us during the remainder of our life. bad chemistry is the result yielding body distress. disfunctions. biological damage and behavioral expressions do result. insecurity,anxiety are shown. emotional damage and scaring yields many personalty traits,genetic inheirtance can play a big part in ones personal’y traits. healthy correction in experssion is most difficult.

The answer, Barbara, would require me to know much more about you than is possible via email. The best I can do is to suggest a visit to a counselor for an evaluation. He/she can then indicate whether you are a good candidate for therapy or direct you to some other form of assistance. If you don’t know someone who can recommend a counselor, you might take a look at the American Psychological Association website. Best wishes.

I feel the same way. I’m 21 years old. I feel insecure everyday. And in my collage class I always had guys tried to joke to me and I one day my teacher told me that I’m lack of confidence. I was so wondering why he said that and it’s true that I have social anxiety.

The good news, Ana, is that now that you know the name for what is troubling you, it may be easier to search out some appropriate therapy. Social anxiety is commonly treated to good effect with cognitive behavioral treatment. You might want to consult with website for the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies: http://www.abct.org/ Best of luck!

[…] This Make Me Sound Insecure? The linguistic tics that reveal self-doubt. Signs Of Insecurity: Behavior That Reveals A Lack Of Confidence What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed Reading […]

[…] A person with a healthy level of confidence will accept a compliment and reply with a simple thank you. But, someone who does not believe in themselves will make excuses for why it isn’t true. They will unconsciously reject the positive view of themselves from a another person in favor of the false notion that they are not worthy of such a compliment. They may even become flustered by the uncommon attention and become visibly uncomfortable. If you want to raise someone’s confidence level, then keep complimenting them on a regular basis. Don’t argue with them when they reject it, but just keep building them up on a regular basis. […]

” The self-doubting person tends to apologize when no apology is necessary. It is as if she expects to be reproached or is afraid to give offense; so, she prophylactically tries to excuse any possible mistake to avoid such a response.”

Where does this assertion come from? I am African, grew up in Africa and I’m also Christian. In my culture, if you do something bad to someone, you apologize. It has nothing to do with being self-doubting but with treating people the way you’d like to be treated. I’m from a country where, unlike Canada or the USA, people are not afraid to be confrontational when it’s necessary, even the ones raised with “good manners”. I also spent lots of years in some Western Europe countries and people have no issue there apologizing, if they’re wrong. Actually, in Europe, good manners are very important and obnoxious people, unable to apologize if they did something wrong or even thought they did so, would be frown upon.

Then, I get to, what is to me rude North America, and I have people stupidly presuming that I’m insecure or self-doubting because I have no issue apologizing if I think I’m wrong. It takes no skin off my nose and actually, I see it as a sign of humility. Then when I put my foot down proving these morons wrong, I’m all of the sudden too aggressive. What is wrong with you people in this part of the world? You confuse kindness, niceness with weakness; being polite is named being insecure. No wonder, you aren’t world favorite tourists!

I shall not take your criticisms personally, Anna. Indeed, I agree with much of what you write. With respect to the subject of insecurity, I’m not talking about people who have made a mistake or done an injury and are apologizing for it. They should. Rather, there are those who are quick to apologize where there is no evidence of injury, no complaint from the other, but respond in an almost tremulous fashion in an attempt to inoculate themselves from imaged attacks by even those who don’t feel they have been hurt, as well as those who would take issue with them. All the best for the New Year, Anna.

I’m very insecure and have low self-esteem. Interestingly, I also have grit, or perseverance on my side, which makes it more challenging for people to see my insecurity when looking at all the things I’ve endured throughout my life. There’s a part of me who feels that I can overcome these feelings and continue to do what I love in life, but then there’s a part of me who feels that the majority of people see me as weird and flawed – largely due to my minority status, aging, low SES, etc. Because of my past traumas, I’m scared of violence (verbal or physical), but I know logically that not everyone is violent in their reactions to me. I wasn’t always scared of violence, however. I used to be tough, and at times I feel like I’m capable of being confident. But traumatic experiences in my young adulthood life somehow brought up all the childhood traumatic experiences I thought I would forget. I suppose traumatic experiences heighten these insecurities and/or distort them further. I do a lot of what is on the list above. But I am in treatment and am working on one area at a time with my therapist. I used to bite my nails all the time, but I’m in my early 40s and don’t do that as much. I tend to spend more time alone, and I really love doing things alone like painting, writing, researching, decorating, reading, etc. I love spending time with my neighbors nearly every day, also. But I don’t spend nearly as much time with friends, family, or peers. Because of my law enforcement and military background (I’m a veteran), I think I also try to be lawful and good, not so much for the sake of piety and virtue, but more so because I am insecure; breaking the rules would make me feel even more insecure. I therefore tend to be overly cautious about what is ethical or lawful, even though I do make mistakes or break the rules from time to time. There’s a part of me who feels like being good makes up for the feelings of insecurity – probably because of my childhood traumas and the self-blame I had during that time. In a way, being good now makes up for those feelings, even though I know much of what was done to me was not my fault, and certainly not because I was bad or good. Still, the feelings are there, and I have to fight them with affirmations and self-validations every day. Anyway, I thought I’d contribute in some way by adding my reaction to this article.

Thank you, Blake. It is quite natural in treatment for the “idea” of being worthwhile to stand in contradiction to the “feeling” for a time. Ideally, this should change in the future. You seem quite dedicated and thoughtful. That you are trying to be “good” is something I wish we all could say with insight, so you have my applause for taking responsibility and, of course, for your military service.

Aw, thank you, Dr. Stein. 🙂 (I would have replied sooner, but I thought I would get an email notification, LOL. I decided to read a new article and found by scrolling down your reply to an older post. I’ll have to look for your replies to my replies. Anyway, thank you for your kind words and feedback. It means a lot!)

My CBT therapist is helping me strategize different scenarios that we all deal with in order to build my self-esteem. My self-esteem is low due to a very difficult childhood, but thankfully, I have enjoyed a very good adult life. I am finding my therapist’s recommendations, which I take to heart, reflect upon, and use when situations arise, are helping me build my self-esteem. I am taking one event at a time, and am standing up for myself, which I never would have done in the past for fear they may not “like” me. I am learning that standing up for myself is not causing the world to come crashing down upon me, and this is helping me to build my confidence. I am also finding I am enjoying not caving to the will of others, which I have done my entire life. I also like CBT therapy…it works for me. My therapist acknowledges my pain, says all the right things and moves on and helps me change my thinking. He is always willing to listen to my stories, anxiety, ruminations, and problems, and in his wisdom, is supportive and puts everything into perspective, even if it is something I may not quite want to hear at that moment. He has an incredible memory and reflects things back to me, things I mentioned in previous visits that are relevant to our current conversation, and I think, “Wow….you know me better than I know myself!” Dr. Stein, your articles motivate me in between visits. I read somewhere, maybe in the comments section (?) that people with low self-esteem think about only themselves. For me, I think about others, and can place myself into situations where I will take on the needs of others, put their needs first, which I think is a symptom of low self-esteem. Working on this too.

Your process, dedication, and results are admirable, Nancy. The preoccupation with “self” I might have mentioned is the worry about what others will think, whether one is selfish, and similar thoughts. I also made the textual change you requested and eliminated the comments pertaining to that.

You are so kind, Dr. Stein…thank you! And yes, I have spent my life worrying about what others think and I also can feel the pain of others, which can lead me to over-involve myself in trying to fix things. It is nice to finally learn to step back from these situations. Guilt was also a motivating factor, but my therapist is also teaching me about this too.

Welcome!

In addition to psychology, you'll also find me musing on baseball, classical music, love, friendship, how we live, and how best to live. I'll tell a few stories and draw a few conclusions.
I hope that some tales will touch you and others help you to look at yourself and the world anew. Thanks for reading (and thinking) along with me! Your comments are most welcome.

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