2/23/2016

Senate Republicans: President Obama Will Plunge the Nation into Crisis by Fulfilling His Constitutional Duties

Let's put the latest Republican fuckery another way: By saying that then-Senator Joe Biden was right in 1992 when he said, "It is my view that if a Supreme Court justice resigns tomorrow or within the next several weeks, or resigns at the end of the summer, President Bush should consider following the practice of a majority of his predecessors and not — and not — name a nominee until after the November election is completed," Republicans are stating very clearly that George H.W. Bush should not have been able to appoint a Supreme Court justice in the last 7 months of his presidency.

Right now, Republicans are cackling like witches around a cauldron, snidely saying that their position on President Obama naming a replacement for very dead and now rotting Antonin Scalia is just following "the Biden Rules." Which would be a thing if the Senate had actually done something like not even consider a president's nominee for the Supreme Court, which it has never, ever done simply because it's an election year. Of course, in 1992, when some of the current GOP Senators were already in the Senate, they would have lost their goddamned minds if Biden had actually had a chance to go through with the "threat," which, as you'll see in a minute, was not even a real threat.

Look, we know at this point that Republicans are a caucus of motherfuckers, and when you're dealing with motherfuckers, you generally expect them to fuck mothers, as the Rude Pundit has said many times before. It's what motherfuckers do. They see a mother somewhere and they fuck her. It doesn't matter if that mother wants to be fucked. If she's near a motherfucker, she will be fucked. And right now, Senate Republicans are taking their motherfucking to a new level. If Mary herself were to saunter by, looking all mothery, they would fuck the shit out of her, making her a virgin no more.

Today, the Republican majority on the Senate Judiciary Committee sent Mitch "Chin Pillow" McConnell a mighty letter announcing that they were gonna guzzle down all the nutzoid conservative jizz they could jack off. The letter, signed by committee chair Chuck "Watch Me Twitter Like the Village Idiot" Grassley, Ted "Punch My Fucking Douchebag Face" Cruz, Lindsey "Jezebel" Graham, David "Shit on Me" Vitter, and all the rest of the inbreds and morons, said that they will not hold any hearings on any goddamn Supreme Court nominee sent to them until after inauguration day in 2017.

And, of course, if any conflict should happen, it's totally President Obama's fault. Gurgled McConnell while downing the chowder on the Senate floor, "He has every right to nominate someone. Even if doing so will inevitably plunge our nation into another bitter and avoidable struggle, that is his right."

You got that? It's the Nigger President's problem, not the Republicans. If you remember, the Nigger President was to blame for the government shutdown because he wouldn't be a good Nigger President and accept, without any uppity questions, the budget extortion the Republicans offered. Why won't the President just acknowledge his position as a nigger? Why must he cause so much turmoil by doing exactly what the fucking Constitution of the United fucking States says he is empowered to do?

McConnell continued, with the kind of cockknobish twisting of reality that you generally see in porn involving time-traveling gigolos, "He can let the people decide and make this an actual legacy-building moment rather than just another campaign roadshow." How do you respond to that? How about like this: "You cunt crumbs brought up the whole fucking election. Own that dickishness."

We can hope that this causes some kind of outrage that catalyzes voters to throw these anti-American, ass-sucking freaks out in November. But Republicans are lucky that most Americans wouldn't know a constitutional crisis if it punched them in the tit and said, "Look! I'm a constitutional crisis!" Welcome to another moment of turmoil caused by Republicans refusing to acknowledge the legitimacy of a Democratic president.

It's this simple: the GOP hates this country as it exists now. And it will do everything possible to contort it to their ugly vision of what it should be.

By the way, in 1992, Biden totally finished that speech by saying that he'd be glad to have hearings if Bush would work with the Senate on deciding who to nominate. In other words, it's the exact opposite of what's going on now. Not that facts matter when there are mothers to fuck and a Nigger President to put in his place.