Gut-Check Chertoff and the Mississippi Dem

Almost every American knows that Thomas Jefferson was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence, which effectively gave birth to the United States of America.

But what Homeland Fascist was a principal author of the Patriot Act, which effectively polished off the Great Experiment in ordered liberty?

Correctamundo! It’s Gut-Check Chertoff.

Only 8 days after the September 11, 2001 attacks, Chertoff and Assistant Attorney General Viet D. Dinh had the 342-page Patriot Act written, printed, bound, and sitting on the desk of every member of Congress. From these facts alone, dear Watson, we can reasonably deduce several standard deductions, depending on your state’s tax code:

Michael Chertoff can sho’ nuff type fast.

There’s gotta be a 24-hour Kinko’s in the basement of the Capital.

If you mail the anthrax about two days before introducing your 342-page legislation with lots of boring stuff on pages 9-11, NOBODY’s gonna get to the part where you eradicate a nation’s cherished liberties, and NOBODY’s going to notice how much you plagiarized from the Reichstag Fire Decree.

(Bonus points: “USA PATRIOT Act” is an acronym. What’s the full name of the law? The answer’s at the end of this post…)

An Abusive Relationship

Homeland Security czar Chertoff knows that chaos and mixed messages breed fear. And fear is the Bush administration’s best friend.

Americans have a relationship with their executive government — one that’s supposed to be built on trust, respect, and mutual good. Lately it’s been an abusive relationship.

If BushCo is the abusive narcissist husband, then Joe Public must be the battered wife. And yet, the public seems reluctant to impeach and get rid of these fiends. Why?

From people who’ve studied abusive relationships, we know the number one reason abused spouses don’t leave a relationship is because of fear. Furthermore, FBI statistics tell us up to 40% of female homicides occur when the spouse decides to leave the abusive relationship. So, the closer we get to throwing BushCo out on their backsides, it’s true we run an increased risk of them striking back, be it a false flag op, declaring martial law, sending more of us to Iraq, bombing Iran, or all of the above.

Gut-Check Chertoff

Senior U.S. intelligence officials tell ABC News new intelligence suggests a small al Qaeda cell is on its way to the United States, or may already be here.

We were also told:

The White House has convened an urgent multi-agency meeting for Thursday afternoon to deal with the new threat. Top intelligence and law enforcement officials have been told to assemble in the Situation Room…

Piling on top of the paranoia and subterfuge, Chertoff told the Chicago Tribune he had “a gut feeling” that an attack was coming.

What color code in the Homeland Security advisory system is associated with a “gut feeling”? What sectors should be on alert as a result of your “gut feeling”? What cities should be asking their law enforcement to work double shifts because of your “gut feeling”? Are the American people supposed to purchase duct tape and plastic sheeting because of your “gut feeling”?

Chertoff Backs Down, Fear Accomplished

A day after delivering a message that translates as “I’ve got a gut-feeling that Americans will die on American soil at the hands of terrorists, very soon! This summer! And it’s already July!”, Chertoff said:

We don’t have specific intelligence about an attack, that is, a particular attack against the homeland, that is imminent or scheduled for the summer.

And most Americans don’t have plans to drag Chertoff, Bush, Cheney, and Rove into the street and tar and feather them. Soon. This summer. Honest, they really don’t.