The monsoons have well and truly arrived, I’m spending more time sipping tea at cafes and making friends across tables then anything else lately. I allow the rain to wash away any need for urgentcy or to do anything really. For the first time in a long time I am completely relaxed. I have slowed down to a pace where my thoughts are coherent. My mind stops wondering but the clarity brings the bad with the good. While in the stillness, I plunge deep into the pool of my mind and find some pretty nasty stuff. I notice old wounds that I thought had healed hadn’t, I’m thinking about the life I’d lived up until now and start to question every thing about myself.

I purge a stream of tears until I feel space open up inside me, I decide I can fill it with better things. I make room for childish wonder; I giggle more and take in things around me as if I’m seeing them for the first time. The healing process has started, life doesn’t feel as heavy and things just seem to flow. I feel good with how much I’m shifting but can still feel knots inside my stomach I can’t seem to release or access.

But I’m about to cross paths with a special lady; one that would be able to release the knots I can’t reach.

Emma is sitting across from me, she’s beautiful. Her eyes look like an ocean above her cup as she sips on her tea. She’s watching Taiga; her daughter is a spitting image of her in every way. They both dance along the same path in life, living with open hearts and minds to match. Special kind of people that I can’t help but to be drawn to. Our conversation flows while I play with Taiga, we’re talking about what we love in the world. Before long we organize to do a swap of trades. I will take photos for her family and in return Emma will preform an energy healing on me. It feels right and I’m excited by what she tells me about the ritual she’ll be preforming, ancient tradition called ‘Siddha Kundalini’.

A few days after our conversation and I’m heading to the top of the mountain she’s staying. It’s taken me about an hour, all uphill. I’m so high even the flies don’t come up here. The monsoons have made lushness in the valleys denser and more beautiful then I’ve ever seen. I stop to appreciate where I am; I’m in the Himyalan Mountains, walking through the jungle to meet a healer of an ancient practice. I start singing TLC “chasing waterfalls” because I’ve got to do some thing to let out my joy. Places like Emma’s aren’t on any maps and so I’ve felt my way there hoping I’ve listened to the instructions well enough. Thankfully I’ve found it pretty easily and we meet at the bottom of the staircase right on que. The timing seems a bit too perfect; Emma’s sensed me arriving.

I walk in and see a beautiful menagerie of crystals carefully laid out in a pattern. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen and so I stare at it, trying to guess the messages that are hidden inside. I feel instantly calm. We talk about my intentions and I start telling Emma about the knots inside my belly I can’t reach. She understands, lays me down and sends me into a trance.

For the second time on this trip I am in between worlds. I’m not asleep but not awake in some sort of limbo. I’m being sent back to my childhood; unlocking memories I didn’t know still existed.

I’m 5 years old on a balmy summers night, we have family friends over for a BBQ and I have been playing in the pool with the other kids for hours. I’m in a purple one piece that matches my big sisters, its damp but my eyes feel too heavy to bother getting a towel. The warm air acts as my blanket as I lay down on a soft patch of grass under the stars and let the sound of the crickets drift me to sleep. The smell of the pool is in my hair and I can feel an ant venture over my foot but none of this matters as a kid, I trust the world to look after me and sleep where I fall.

I travel to several other memories, some good and some bad until I hear Emma’s soft voice leading me back. I stay laying for a while, wondering what just happened. I’m confused but immediately notice the knots in my stomach are gone.

Still dazed, I get up slowly and feel like I’m walking on a cloud. Colours look brighter and the world feels like a different place. A better one, and I cant wipe the smile off my face. Its like I’m high, like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I try to explain myself to Emma, but there's no need. She understands. Soon after her husband and baby girl arrive home. They invite me to stay for while and we spend the rest of the afternoon sipping cacao, laughing, hugging, walking to hidden waterfalls and learning from each other.

She gifts me a quarts she’s dug up from her home country of Finland, it will serve as a reminder of the journey I went on that day. I gift her these images, another journey we all went on that day.