Last Week's Results

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Make-Up Week- Preview

Thu, Aug 22, 2013

This is it… the ACTUAL final regular season Softball Sunday. How did it go by so damn fast? Oh right… drinking obscene amounts of booze every Sunday to the point of blacking out and remembering jack shit on Mondays. Thankfully we all usually piece everything together by Tuesday morning on who won and who lost, record it on this wonderful website and we all look like a very “responsible” league. We have five very competitive games slated for Make-Up Week, all of which have playoff seeding implications. So lets stop fucking around…

11AM

Field #1: Black Betty vs. 3 Kings (Shortz)

Actually, a striking resemblance…

It’s Boombox vs. Boombox in this bombastic rematch for the ages. Betty might be looking to repeat their week 5 win. But they might be running into The Majestic Ones who are still seething from last year’s playoffs. In order to not make this Sunday a 3-peat for the Betty, Stash McNelis plans to cut off a lock of Holland’s hair as he sleeps and perform a little voodoo (don’t worry Stash, Holland doesn’t know we have a website).

Black Betty needs this win so they don’t fall from the 4th to the 6th seed. To keep you all from over thinking it on Sunday, might I suggest preparation tactics such as carb-loading and watching a marathon of the TV show Reba. (You heard me, Mrs. McEntire, your shows blow. Do NOT get me started on Malibu Country).

Field#2: 2nd Chance @ Turkey’s Nest (Shortz)

Although Second Chance fell to the Nesters in week 5, the planets have shifted. Gone are the days of the 2nd Chance almost upsets, so y’all better be ready for the noise. The Nesters have had yet another break in the schedule, which Captain Jordan Heller has inundated their free time with game-tape reviews and trust falls.

As for the 86ers, they are fired up. To keep the good luck going for her squad, Kathryn’s gone on a shower strike and is currently sporting the look of a homeless Desert Storm Veteran. And it seems to be working! They’ve won the last 4 games, which equals the amount of total games they won the entire 2012 season. Dare I say, “peaking at the right time”? I’m told by the Commish that if Second Chance wins and duckduck loses, the 86ers will leap-frog over the ducks for the 13th seed. (You may or may not see an image of a frog leaping over a duck for the recap).

1PM

Field #1: duckduck vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

Everyone knows it’s O’Malley Season

Duckduck was blown out by Spike Hill in week 5 with a score of 25-8, and remarked by some as being comparative to the Battle of Shiloh.

As the ducks prep for this matchup by sitting next to a pond, catching chunks of bread in their mouths, rumors are swirling that Spike Hill might throw their last two games for a lower seed (that makes zero sense unless it’s a tactic to make the Ducks feel lax before their untimely massacre). In other news, Prize Steed Powell looks to clinch the first seed in perfect attendance, so that’s super exciting…I guess?

Will the Hillians send Greg Todd into hiding again? Can the Duck Dynasty get it together to beat Spike Hill as they did in the good ol’ days? I’m not going to lie- I’m worried. With me not being in attendance, who’s going to yell at O’Mallery to “eat a bag of dicks”? [Insert post hot dog chow-down joke] Hopefully, one of my esteemed colleagues will rise to the call of duty.

Field #2: AT Allstars vs. Turkey’s Nest (GBlack)

Some inspirational reading material for you

With AT already having locked up the #3 seed in the playoffs, this game doesn’t have much impact for them record-wise. All that’s on the table is a season series sweep of The Boys of Summer. There’s been internal discussion at the AT compound that this might be their “Drunk Game” of the season…well, more drunk than usual. Team shots of Jack Daniels Honey every inning before taking the field? Sure! An intravenous vodka drip for Ersin “The Turkish Tornado”? Of course! We have to make up for the missing drunk tank last week somehow. This game does have slightly more meaning for the Nesters, though. With a double header set for Sunday, they can vastly improve their playoff seeding, which currently stands at #11. Can Jordan motivate his under achieving team to a .500 record with a twin-bill sweep? Who will be the first ATer to puke rounding the bases? Bring your barf bags to this one cause as you know, seeing people vomit is contagious.

3PM

Field #1: Clemerica vs. Spike Hill (GBlack)

Grab your Beerds and come watch!

This game was scheduled for Week 19, but was moved to this Sunday because Breezy’s 3-hour beard de-lousing process took too long. Rumor has it they found a family of sparrows in there, eating bits and pieces of brisket. MMMMMMMMMM Breezy brisket. Just as last week, The Battleship can improve on their best season ever and move to 10 wins for the first time in team history. Motivation has never been a problem for O’Malley and his minions, and they have just that. With a double header scheduled, they have a chance to sweep and capture the #1 overall seed (which by the way, is exactly what Grambo and The Gibson want) Why not have your first win of the season vs. Spike Hill, hey it could happen! Can Stryker confound the Spike Hillian hitters? Will Morgan bless the WSL with another bikini top day? Should be a fun one to close our 2013 season.