Other times, we only think we know, yielding to the urge to prove it to others or boast about it. Inflated egos are not accurate reflections of inner power.

When we speak of inner power, we refer to a deeply personal understanding of who we are and our ability to recognize, own, and manifest our best self at all times. When we do that, we release our power.

That is what gives us the ability to genuinely connect and influence others.

There’s a story I share with many clients which illustrates this concept. It’s actually a Porsche commercial that ran years ago which struck me at the time and continues to inspire me to this day. (now THAT is good marketing!)

There is a Porsche and an old pickup truck at a red light. Both engines revving. The drivers glance at each other ostensibly to initiate a pissing match; who has the better engine, who has the most power, who is the better man, who is totally cool, who has the bigger muscle? You get the idea.

Light is red. We wait. Cars in neutral, feet pumping the accelerators, heads turning from side to front. Engines screaming.

Who’s bigger? Who’s better? Who’s louder? Who’s going to win?

Light turns green. The pickup truck screeches out of position, spinning out, disappearing in its own smoke. Meanwhile, the Porsche leisurely moves forward in sync with the flow of traffic.

The tag line was something like this:

Sometimes, just knowing you have the power is enough.

The fact that the Porsche could out-drag the pickup truck and likely reach 60 mph in a few seconds was irrelevant. Similarly, the fact that your 6’2” partner could beat the crap out of some drunken fool who is coming on to you, would be an inappropriate and unproductive measure of his power. Sometimes, walking away is the most influential demonstration of power.

Another example, in terms of your relationship, would be letting go on behalf of compromising with someone you love.

Or, giving in when the common goal is to cooperate and work as a team.

Think about this the next time you are in conflict with your partner. Can you sit with the power you have and rise above your urge to prove it? Can you stop revving your engine?