After receiving a good amount of feedback on my alternate version of "On the Doorstep," I decided to make a slightly longer take. I re-inserted the dwarves attempting to break the secret door down, but still left out the section where they get discouraged and begin to leave.

To me, this is a happy medium between the original scene in the film, and my initial cut which moved a little too quickly. Let me know what you think of this version! Thanks to Sandro specifically for the edit suggestions, they helped a lot!

I thought your version was absolutely beautiful. I read the section in the book moments before and it felt like a very faithful abridgement. The poetry of the on screen cinematography is in tact but you have given it that much needed momentum I am sure I will be interested in the finished product.

You mentioned on One Ring a Title.

An Unexpected Vision : A Hobbits Tale.

Reply

franklapidus4ever

2/28/2015 03:49:12 pm

I really, really like this. Personally I never fully believed that the dwarves would simply give up and go home so quickly when the keyhole failed to appear, so I appreciate this scene.

Your point is well made. In the film the scene comes dangerously close to making the Dwarves look wholly inadequate, lacking both mental resolve and any Dwarven ingenuity. Given the riddle of the door and the map where Dwarven inventions would not one of the Dwarves have the cultural knowledge to solve the riddle. This was an opportunity to bring one of the Dwarves forward in the narrative and underline the collective resource of the company. If you are going to travel with 13 Dwarves in a more adult version of the story here is the perfect opportunity to apply that logic.

Jake

3/6/2015 04:16:34 am

Yes! Thank you so much! This is undoubtedly a better change, you don't whack the door twice and then wander off. I like some of the PJ changes including have the Dwarves trying to be proactively challenging Smaug because it fleshes the Dwarves out as fighters, and this moment flew in the face of that completely.

Reply

Sandro Algra Barradas

3/6/2015 06:43:12 am

It's great that you made some changes to it. I never bought the fact that the dwarves would simply leave a few minutes after the sunset and drop the key like there wouldn't be another year to try again. I do think this edit goes by a bit too quick though.

In my opinion, it would probably work better if you would still include the moment in which the sun goes down and the dwarves get frustrated. Then Bilbo could look up and see the moon appear. This scene should contain both the surprise that the last light of Durin's day was in fact moonlight and it should show that the Dwarves are hard headed warriors who won't give up that easily. So perhaps you can also leave in the moment in which the try to break down the door through force.

So instead of 2 minutes, how about making it a 3:30 minute scene? But in the end, you're the one to judge what works better.

Reply

Dustin

3/6/2015 10:47:16 am

OK Sandro, I went and updated this scene with your suggestions in mind. I think this version works better than both the original scene and my initial first cut. The video box has been automatically updated, let me know what you think!

Reply

Sandro

3/6/2015 03:31:35 pm

I'm glad to hear my comments helped you out. The video looks great. The only thing I notice from both this version and your previous edit is that when the moonlight shines upon the keyhole the place seems very empty. That's because there were no more dwarves in the original movie. I guess that's only a minor issue, and I understand that you're gonna have to use those shots eitherway.

Dustin

3/6/2015 10:44:13 pm

Good point, I can fix that empty looking shot (the one with the thrush) by zooming in a bit closer so you don't see as much on either side.

Reply

bn.filmz

9/10/2015 02:34:19 pm

This edit feels all wrong, because suddenly Bilbo seems to be alone; there are no dwarves in front of him and none behind him. And then this awkward silence with noone mentioning that it was the moonlight that would shine on the keyhole.

I am not keen on Nori's trivial taping with a spoon but that maybe a matter of taste. The really important improvement is to remove the improbable reaction of the Dwarves to their initial failure. C

hanging subject I wonder whether you could apply the same partial restoration to the Eagle rescue. After all he edited bits in at the last moment like Dori, Nori and Ori hanging on to the staff so it maybe possible to edit the fight elements out. Just a thought and thanks again for sharing.

Reply

Dustin

3/6/2015 10:51:53 pm

Thanks Michelle. The eagle rescue is a different beast altogether. Since it's the climax of AUJ, there isn't an easy way to splice it with the beginning of DOS.

When the eagles drop them off on that mountaintop, neither film ever shows how they get off and the next time we see them in DOS, they are running from the orcs again. So to me, it made sense to merge them being chased in AUJ to a continuation of that chase in DOS.

One possible link is to restore the Azanulbizar flashback which originally was planned for Beorns. They are high up a promontory at night and this could physically mediate between the carrock which would close out and the opening to DOS placement. I have just watched the scene it opens at night and you could possibly move from the Dwarf a sleep to Balin telling the tale of Azog. I am of course focusing on story telling whether you could edit out horses and the Kili joke successfully is another matter. Just a thought and i know from your remarks you have not ruled out reintroducing this scene which is a modular sequence. Ia ctually would love to see you do something with the colour grading and editing of the flashback