According to a press release posted on British pr site Pressbox.co.uk on Sunday, and currently making the rounds on e-mail, Tom Cruise is scheduled to give a series of public anti-psychiatry talks at the Scientology Celebrity Center in L.A. in October.Though some less discerning outlets took the bait, lecture topics like, “How Psychiatry Invented Schizophrenia” and “Handling Sexual Dis-Orientation,” sounded a bit too outlandish even for Tom’s taste. Curious, we called our old palBert Fields, Cruise’s legendary—and much feared—lawyer, whose name and contact information are listed at the bottom of the release.

Radar: So what’s the story with this pressrelease?

Bert Fields: It’s totally phony. I never issued thatrelease. Tom is not giving any lectures. I’m going to look into it,because, in my view, it’s forgery, wire fraud, and apparently committed onan interstate basis. So if I can find out who did this, I certainly intend topursue every remedy I can find. You’re the second call I’ve had thismorning from people who picked this up. Most people I think have probably seenit on that British website. They’ve said they are taking it down, becauseI immediately informed them that I hadn’t sent out any press release.

Radar: One tip-off is that they misspelledyour name.

BF: Yeah, it’s kind of sad. It’s way off base,and of course you could tell from looking at the names of the supposed lecturesthat it’s nothing that comes from Tom. You know, “Out of the Closetand into the Auditing Room” is not something Tom is going to put as thename of a lecture. He’s not, in fact, giving any lectures. If he did Iwould sell tickets.

Radar: The British site still hasn’t taken itdown, ya know. [Update: The link was removed Wednesday morning.]

BF: That’s interesting, because they promised meyesterday that they were going to take it down, so I have to jump on them alittle bit. Okay, talk to you later. Bye.