No offense

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

No offense ...buuuuuuuut I beg to differ with what you just said. Maybe you haven't really thought everything through, because I think that someone who had really put any brain power into their thinking process would come out with the opposite of what you just said. But, of course, that's just my opinion, that you are totally wrong with a certainty higher than 100%. Well, take it as you like.

Contents

...buuuuuuuut maybe you where born in that way where something goes wrong in the birth canal and you lose contact with the world (including oxygen) and lose so many brain cells that you are unable to process normal logical ideas all the way through, in such a way that no one should bother to pay attention to you. Infact, it goes beyond your reasoning skills, it seems, at least in my humble opinion that physically you are also really unpleasant to look at. Well, aesthetics could not be more of a subjective topic, so, each to their own, but your hideous face is difficult to watch for more than a few seconds.

...buuuuuuuut when I said that the Christmas card you sent me was nice, I was actually lying and trying to protect your feelings. It seems as though you picked out the single worst and cheesiest card in the entire shop, put it into the ugliest envelope possible with a puke like colour and then just as a final flourish thought it funny to write something so banal that it made the card look less nauseating than it already was. Well, as I said, I was just trying to be kind to you as few people are, but you really ought to work on that, you know, social pleasantries and stuff.

...buuuuuuuut I think everything that you do is so counter productive to the world that you were actually designed by some cruel demon who wanted to make aliens watching us from outerspace laugh at our misfortune. And by misfortune, I mean the really bad luck of the entire world to know you, to know of you and to know that other people pass terrible days being even slightly related with your time/space presence. Its not that I want to hurt your feelings its just, this is something you should be aware of and its how I really feel.

...buuuuuuuut if someone where to run you over with a car, I would probably laugh about it, tell the story as a joke to my friends in the pub and then if your corpse was still on the street, try to run over it again before anyone cared enough to remove it.

...buuuuuuuut like, seriously, like, in the long scheme of things, what the hell are you doing trying to exist. Like, who do you think you are using up all those carbon based cells that form you when it could be more useful in any other combination. Do you think its funny being you all the time? Are you being you on purpose?