Nick Offerman: You didn't hear? We're coming back on the air January Twentieth.

Man: YEAH!

Woman: Can you believe it?!

Rob Lowe: W-w-wait a minute. Y-you mean we haven't been on TV?

Nick Offerman: Yeah, we, we're off the air for a couple months, but now we're back! Yeah!

Amy Poehler: But you knew that, right?

Rob Lowe: No, I did not fu**ing know that. How fu**ing long have I not been on television?!

Amy Poehler: Rob, this is good news.

Rob Lowe: What's good news? That this hasn't been on TV for five fu**ing months?!

[Gasping]

Aziz Ansari: Ahh! My face!

Rob Lowe: Great. Now I'm out of coffee. You, production assistant? Look me in the face. Get the fu*k to Pete's Coffee, and get me a new coffee.

Aubrey Plaza: I'm on the show.

Rob Lowe: You are not.

Aubrey Plaza: Yeah, I am. I was...

Rob Lowe: Since when?

Aubrey Plaza: Since the beginning. I was on it before you.

Rob Lowe: You weren't. No one's been on the show before me. There was no fu**ing show before me. I am Robert Decifious Lowe!

Adam Scott: You are?

Amy Poehler: [Gasps]

Rob Lowe: And you. What have you ever done other than not being on television for five fu**ing months?!

Amy Poehler: I was on Saturday Night Live for a little bit.

Rob Lowe: Well, I hosted! And I just played paddle tennis with Lauren Michaels and Diane Sawyer, and I beat both those motherfu**ers! And I am fu**ing Miramax! So put that information up your a*shole. You know what? All of you, get the fu*k out. Get the fu*k out. Get out of my house!

Amy Poehler: What? You don't live here.

Rob Lowe: Get the fu*k out! Catch the new season of Parks and Recreation coming this January Twentieth on NBC.