Friday, November 09, 2012

Michigan welcomes Northwestern to A2 tomorrow for the Wolverines' penultimate home game of the 2012 season (I know, they grow up so fast, don't they?). Michigan holds a 53-15-2 edge
against the former Mildcats, including last season's game at Ryan Field (also known as The Big House West when Michigan plays there). And yet it's the 7-2 Purple Cats coming into town ranked 21st in the Coaches' Poll and 24th in the BCS against the unranked Wolverines.
But you knew all that. What you didn't know is all down below in the MZone's World Famous KNOW YOUR FOE: Northwestern 2012 Edition.

The Latin means "Holy shit, this school's expensive!"

HISTORY - On May 31, 1850, nine Methodist men
gathered in a law office above a hardware store in Chicago to plan a
university that would serve the former Northwest Territory, a vast
region that included what are now the states of Ohio, Indiana,
Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, and a part of Minnesota. Though the
school is non-sectarian, some religious overtones remain, including two
biblical passages on its crest (along with untold souls mortgaged to
the Devil after allowing the former football laughingstock to play in
the Rose Bowl in the mid 90s). Since the departure of the University of
Chicago in 1946, Northwestern remains the only private Big Ten School (with Ohio State the conference's only community college).
Interestingly, Northwestern and U of C almost merged in the 1930s, but
the plan was killed by the Northwestern trustees. Sure, they would
have created an academic powerhouse with potentially the worst
combination of football teams since, uh, never.

LOCATION
- Evanston, Illinois. The village was named for Northwestern's
founder, John Evans and has some lame nicknames like E-town, the City of
Homes and -- wait for it -- Heavenston (I just threw up in my mouth a
little bit). In the 1960's, the university changed the shoreline of
Evanston by dumping landfill into Lake Michigan to allow more land for
campus buildings. On the not so Heavenly side of Heavenston: the relationship between the village and
the university has turned a bit frosty as, per the founding charter,
Northwestern does not have to pay property taxes. Ever. Sweeeet deal if
you can get it (No, Exxon, you're not a college).

And
although it's more a 'burb than a "college town," it's still a great
place to live. A lively downtown, easy access to Chicago, and a
beautiful beach (when it's warm enough) make Evanston one of the more
desirable and expensive suburbs of Chicago. It's also home to numerous
famous people, including the Cusacks, Jeremy Piven, Charles Gibson,
Donald Rumsfeld, and Eddie Vedder. Not bad for a town of about 75,000.

NICKNAME
- Wildcats, named by a Chicago Tribune reporter in 1924 (and thus not
in honor of that shitty Goldie Hawn movie). Some of the school's
previous nicknames include the Fighting Methodists and the fear-inspiring Purple.
In 1972, with a nod to popular culture at the time (and probably just
the overwhelming urge to get high), the student body voted to change the
school nickname to "Purple Haze". It never stuck.

He looks like a Looney
Tunes character

MASCOT - Willie the Wildcat
is the costumed mascot for the university. The original mascot was a
live bear cub named Furpaw (before they were known as the Wildcats).
But in 1923, after a losing season, the university abandoned Furpaw (as
a mascot) because they believed he was bad luck. If Northwestern
continued this practice of changing mascots after bad seasons, they'd
be on about their 80th mascot by now (although, before Pat Fitzgerald,
they pretty much used to do the same thing with their coaches).

COLORS
- Purple and White (which replaced Black and Gold in 1892). In the
'90s (1990s, that is) they were ahead of the current college football uni cliche and added black to their unis. And while black and purple aren't a good combo, this color addition
corresponded to the time when Northwestern stopped being a laughingstock on
the gridiron. Thus, no surprise, they kept the black (as every other school seemingly added the color to the uniforms as well).

Logo
- After struggling through the '70s to find a logo, Northwestern
settled on their current version in 1981 and have not changed it since.
The stylized bold N is sometimes adorned with a snarling wildcat, but
the N is the symbol of the university and has been the only adornment to
the football helmets for 25 years (not counting the grass and mud stains when they used to get their asses kicked game in and game out pre-Gary Barnett).

While
the current N is solid, and has provided the university and its sports
teams an identity for a long time, I think Northwestern made a mistake
in 1967 when they went away from using this guy.

FIGHT SONG - The Northwestern fight song, Go U Northwestern,
is a solid middle of the pack song for the Big Ten. Theodore Van Etten,
inspired by a 20-7 victory over Indiana, wrote the song in 1912. Yes, it's
pretty sad when your fight song was written because of a victory over
Indiana - in football. The song was originally titled Go Northwestern Go
but was changed soon after.

By the '80s, students and
fans began yelling "Go 'Cats!" at the end of the song's chorus repeat
which, if you ever witnessed N'Western football in the '80s was probably
just a clever way of calling the team pussies.

ACADEMICS - Quite simply, Northwestern kicks some serious academic ass. They are currently the top school in the Big Ten according the latest U.S. News and World Report rankings, coming in at #12 (ahead of the second-ranked school in the B1G, #29 Michigan).

Maybe
it's because of these high academic standards that NU has some
traditions that sound as boring as they do intellectually inspired.
Take for example, Mayfest and Dillo Day. According to the school website,
"the roots of Northwestern's end-of-the-year celebration, Mayfest,
reach back to the 1890s, when students would celebrate the 'renunciation
of the May Queen of the temporal world for a spiritual one.'"

Uh...yeah. I'll take Hash Bash, thank you very much.

Wait it gets worse
better: "Nowadays, Mayfest is a weeklong celebration capped by a more
recent tradition, Armadillo Day. In 1972, Northwestern students from
Texas held a small celebration in honor of the armadillo. More than 25
years later, 'Dillo Day is the culmination of Mayfest and an all-day
Saturday event on the lakefront with bands, games, and vendors."

All righty.

ATHLETICS
- According to the Wikipedia article probably written by Northwestern's mom, "In the 2010-11 school year, the Wildcats had one national championship,
12 teams in postseason play, 20 All-Americans, two CoSIDA Academic
All-American selections, 8 CoSIDA Academic All-District selections, 1
conference Coach of the Year and Player of the Year, 53 All-Conference
and a record 201 Academic All-Big Ten athletes. Overall, 12 of
Northwestern's 19 varsity programs had NCAA or bowl postseason
appearances."

Historically, it hasn't been as good. Northwestern
is a charter member of the Big Ten, and promptly called dibs on the
cellar. Though their women's lacrosse team has won 6 national titles,
and their 1931 basketball team was proclaimed National Champs by something called the Helms Athletic Foundation, there have been few brights spots. Several low lights,
including basketball and football players charged with bribery and point
shaving, as well the infamous soccer hazing incident.

"Nation, last weekend USC coach and human weaselLane Kiffin was once again accused of cheating..."

FAMOUS ALUMS - Their alumni list
is about as impressive as any in the country. When you combine a
powerful academic school with one that's also strong in high profile
areas such as drama and journalism, you're going to get a list with a
ton of people that everyone knows. From the entertainment field you
have Ann-Margaret, Zach Braff, Cindy Crawford, Marg Helgenberger,
Charlton Heston, Shelly Long, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jeri Ryan, Seth
Meyers, David Schwimmer, Zooey Deschanel, Kimberly Williams and Warren
Beatty (although a good number of these folks didn't graduate).
That's a pretty good babe quotient there too. From the business world
Northwestern can claim the past and present CEOs from companies such as
Wells Fargo, Motorola, Paramount Pictures, Office Depot, AON and some
company we've never heard of, Playboy. Numerous journalists are NU
alumni including Christine Brennan, Gregg Easterbrook, Rachel Nichols,
Michael Wilbon, and Brent Musburger. Former Obama Chief of Staff Rahm
Emanuel. And Stephen Colbert. That pretty much trumps any astronauts
or athletes that Michigan might be able to brag about. The school has
also produced a number of presidential election losers (William
Jennings Bryan, George McGovern, and Adlai Stevenson) and just plain
losers (Rod Blogojevich, Jerry Springer), but no Presidents.

THE GAME
- While NW is 7-2, those wins are about as impressive as Michigan's 6 -- i.e. not so much. The only team they've beaten with a winning record is the same 5-4 Gopher squad Michigan stamped out last weekend. In fact, Northwestern's best win may be a 29-28 loss at home to Nebraska (and we use the term "home" loosely even though the game was in Evanstan as there were way more Husker fans). So I guess this weekend we find out which team is more legit...ish. While KYF thinks the opening 13 line was a little high, after Devin's breakout and playing in The Big House, go Blue:

Northwestern may be a good test for the Michigan defense. However, I think it is a test the Wolverines will pass. Either Michigan QB will give Northwestern trouble, but it will come down to whether or not Michigan can run without Denard. I think if he is in, he won't run as much and they will play call like they did against ND and Alabama. The question is will they have a better result. It is at Michigan, so I think you guys win 27-21.

616,

Perhaps Yost is evolving. First no healing pic after Nebraska, now Colbert. Though I do have to say eye candy is not hard to find, Colbert's genius is a much rarer commodity.

From the blog that drilled down to expose the ASU cheerleader gone bad, inspiring the M-zone's BCS (i.e. Blog Coed Showdown) and the ever popular "this is your life this is college life" we now get the "genius" that is Steve Colbert?

Dennis, good catch that he forgot the post-Nebraska healing pictures. Today we do not have pictures that are worth a 1000 words from NW's "pretty good babe quotient" alumnae base nor anything from the business empire created by a robe-wearing, pipe holding alumnus out of Evanston.

Our Creator bestowed upon us a primal genius that vastly supersedes anything produced by Mr. Colbert.

As a loyal reader since the Colin Cowherd incident, Victors Club member and season ticket holder since 1995, I suggest you do not stray far from the creed that established the Mzone firmly in the Michigan Football blogosphere.

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