I've never felt this used.

Don't know where to begin. There's this 30 yr. old broad I met last weekend. Things went very well...met at a bar, ended up at her place on the first evening. Went to a concert on Sunday. Lots of chemistry, passion, mutual interests. On Sunday night after the show, she told me "You know I am kind of seeing someone, right? I don't want to take things too fast." That was in response to my idea of a dinner date this week.

So I said, I'll leave it alone. Let's see what happens.

Tuesday comes. She texts and wants to go to dinner. Good development right? We decide on a very nice place (which is only affordable because this is restaurant week) and went there tonight. Dinner was great. Fantastic rapport, the same chemistry, lots of hand-holding at the table and kissing on the walk to the car. We got to her place and went in for a coup[le more glasses of wine and conversation. Things got hot and heavy on the couch. I said, "let's go lay down." She agreed and we went to her room, where she promptly said, "No street clothes!" and removed my lovely Brooks OCBD. We're in bed, fooling around a little bit, and her phone buzzes. She checks it. A solid minute of anxious texting ensues. And then this.

"Would you really hate me if I asked you to leave?"

I kind of just ummm'd for 30 seconds. How the fuck do you respond to that? I said something like, "Are you serious? What is going on?"

Girl: "This guy I've been kind of seeing wants to come over. What do I say?"
Conne: "....say whatever you need to. Tell him not to come, I'm here."
Girl: "*sigh*....OK, OK, I'll do that."

Very awkward minute or two. Kiss a little bit, phone buzzes again, more frantic texting. She then starts going on about how she is in this off again, on again relationship from which she has trouble getting out of. I, stupidly and like a fucking coward, said I understand. Girl said she likes me so much, blah blah blah, but I'm so much younger. I told her she was making excuses and she got kind of frustrated. Again, like I a little bitch, I backed down and said "Oh you're right I'm being too harsh." After this Girl said she wants to try a relationship, but feels trapped. I told her I felt very used and that I was leaving. She said she wants to see me again and will be in touch.

I feel like I got walked all over. Blew $90 on a dinner during which she did not ONCE mention this other man. And did not ONCE mention him during our hour of conversation and kissing and wine on the couch.

She says she 'likes' you? Her actions don't match what she is saying. Either she is lying, or she does like you but she is so weak willed and wrapped around someone else's finger up she is prepared to kick you out to have sex with some other dude after just a couple of texts. Most likely it is as Landshark says.

A generous man might give her one chance to explain herself, but probably you should just walk away.

Should've said that.
I want to hate her but I can't. I really like her and she says it's mutual. But I'm probably being gullible. she probably told the other guy to come over right as I left.
Why even bother. Thought I was sick of the emotionless hook ups but.maybe that's the best I can hope for.

Here my little secret for identifying girls worth dropping $90 on. It's a two question test that will keep you out of this shit. 1) Are yall dating? 2) Are yall exclusive? It's either pass or fail. She failed, so the $90 should have never been dropped in the first place.

Outside of that, you already know where your problem is. Don't let someone walk all over you or they will. Try getting mad instead of frustrated, upset, or pissed next time someone tries to pull that bullshit on you. If it even gets as far as you having to leave and her saying that she'll be in touch, a "like fuck you will- I'm done with this" will either have her backtracking and cancelling on the other guy if she's actually invested on you, or lets you leave with the last word, which is a huge psychological boost even if you've been run through like this.

Good luck man.

Edit: also, there are plenty of wonderful chicks/women/gals/ladies/senoritas out there. Don't be bitch.

I mean, you had no sense this was leading to marriage and 2.3 kids, did you? It was all about sex, right? So you should have just got some and left knowing when he kissed he'd be tasting you. Which raises the point...you should stop kissing her as odds are she just gave him a BJ too.

1. You should have asked her about her relationship situation within ten minutes of meeting her.
2. You shouldn't drop $90 on dinner for any woman who is less than an exclusive girlfriend.
3. You got fazed by her telling you about the other guy, first arguing with her then leaving with your tail between your legs.

That said, I don't think the situation is beyond salvaging. Most attractive women will be in some sort of relationship at any time. This woman clearly wants out, you just need to give her a reason to leave. Text her the naughty things you would like to do to her. If she brings up the other guy, play it cool and say something like, "That's cool, I promise not to tell him about us if you don't." Proceed as if he doesn't exist. And for the love of God, do not take her out to an expensive dinner again.