Trying to solve problems like Maria

In Spanish we call it el Spell Checko

My chief news source, iMDB, reports today:Actress Jessica Alba has reportedly threatened Playboy lothario Hugh Hefner with legal action, insisting the March issue of his magazine suggests she poses “nude or semi-nude.” The Fantastic Four beauty shot off a legal warning to the magazine mogul after realizing her image had been placed on the cover of the soft-porn publication, without her knowledge or consent. The letter demands Playboy immediately stops distributing the offending issue, and Alba insists a “monetary settlement” is appropriate. Alba’s lawyer Brian Wolf claims the actress had previously turned down a substantial payment to be a Playboy cover girl and accuses the publication of tricking Colombia Pictures into allowing them a promotional shot from forthcoming film Into The Blue. Colombia Pictures have also written to Hefner, slamming the “outrageous, unethical behavior utilized by Playboy personnel to obtain” the racy shot.

I think it’s laudable that Colombia Pictures are standing behind Jess and her fight against illegal use of her Fantastic Two. But I wonder which Colombia picture actually wrote to Hef? Maybe this one?

But then I think, well, that one doesn’t have hands, so I bet it can’t write! Maybe this Colombia picture tossed in its two pesos for Alba’s sake:

These three gals could have definitely written una carta in support of their favorita wrongly pornified actress. Yes, it’s definitely these gals.

But I’m just guessing. If I didn’t know any better though, I might suggest one final option, my personal favorite Colombia picture, the one I memorized all the lines to in 1985, took place in the seedy treasure map underworld of Cartagena, and is responsible for the not-used-often-enough phrase “mondo dismo”:

But I bet it definitely isn’t this Colombia Pictures. They totally spelled their own name wrong on their logo! Silly movie-makers!