So yesterday I read a funny story about how McDonalds wanted to get all social networky. Get people on the Twitter to read all about the goodness of McDonalds via tweets.

I guess the idea was they had paid placement for a hashtag that promoted the “goodness” of McDonalds #McDStories

Seems like a harmless enough idea. Get the word (lies) out. Also seemed promising for Twitter in terms of corporations actually paying money for their service.

Then of course it all went wrong. People started posting non-friendly McDonalds stories via the #McDStories hashtag. McDonalds totally lost control of this marketing campaign when tweeters all piled on and post stuff like this…

and…

and…

When stuff like this happens I always think about that one guy. The one cocky d-bag responsible for launching the stupid campaign. The fast-talking guy in the meeting with the chunky glasses, three phones, and soulpatch explaining to the dated McDonalds execs what social media is all about and how it works. Busting out twitter lingo extra fresh at every turn to show he knows more than everyone in the room.

He has gigantic numbers and figures to support his marketing idea. Older executives feel intimidated. They don’t want to miss out on the “social media stuff”. They grumble a yes. Soulpatch guy gets the greenlight to go ahead.

Not only is this a score for Soulpatch because he landed the big fish (filet-o-fish) but if it works out well– perhaps he can build a social networking career off of this campaign! Getting McDonalds onboard with Twitter has got to be a major achievement in Twitterfield…

The build up to the launch of #McDStories has crazy anticipation for Soulpatch. He re-reads the initial tweet about ‘tasting food’ 100x — rechecks the short link over and over. He counts down 5…4…3…2…1….Then it’s off! First tweet tweeted! Enjoy it world!

He sits back in his Herman Miller chair and cracks his knuckles. Hard at work.

Then the first tweet comes in about diarrhea. Scarred with #McDStories. Another tweets about how McDonalds makes the person feel like he’s dying inside. Soulpatch’s heart sinks. He’s been blindsided by the media he’s an ‘expert’ in.

He prays that this is just a passing ‘trend’. People will leave alone his precious #. But he knows it’s too late. (that’s the moment) There’s the word ‘diarrhea’ has been blapped all over his marketing campaign. It’s over.

By days end, the hashtag has been killed. Some executive has to the shame to explain to some Old McDonald exec why it was possible for some nobody to use the word ‘diarrhea’ in association with their marketing campaign.

And our Soulpatch stares at the screen. Disaster. Someone DM’s him asking, ‘Yo! Was that McD campaign what you were talking about the other night?! ROFL! It wasn’t yours, right?!’ Soulpatch hears the Hindenburg announcer broadcasting in his head. A single tear runs down his face and soaks into his soulpatch. The end.

That’s what you get for trying to cross the streams I guess?

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. But it did make me seriously wonder (for the first time in real life) about the fact that if corporations who are willing to pay can actually get burned (fried) by Twitter — that from a business perspective… Twitter might be totally fkt…

I still hit the Arches and when I do I get the big ass angus burger, super size those fries a chocolate milkshake and two apple pies. That keeps me for a few months from going back. I use to work there as a kid and we use to make HugeMacs, basically a BigMac made out of quarter pounders and the buns. Also deep fried sausage egg and cheese biscuits, yum yum yummy. I wished they make those.

“Well, Well, Well, you’ve had your big moment now!” followed by sarcastic 1980’s slow clapping. “I shall have my day upon you soon” Finished with 1980’s finger pyramid with index fingers holding head up at the chin.

Todd wrote about me a while back. He and a friend saw me at a bar and I kept passing out- like full collapse face-first onto the floor- and then getting up again. By the third time people were saying “NO! Stay down!” but I felt just fine annnnWHAM

I read about this story on the internet yesterday and it just ANNOYED me. Sometimes when a parent is ON THE GO one cannot just STOP on a dime and cook a meal and afford a normal restaurant EVERYDAY!! I admit that Mc Donalds might be fattening but once or twice a week is NOT A PROBLEM I AM SURE! When I hear people talk about the ingrediants it is annoying because no other restaurant is has to list ingrediants! Just my 2 cents! SEE YOU AT MC DONALDS!

tOdd, I see you have been in those types of meeting too. Do you think Soalpatch is the same guy that sold McD’s on the short-lived “I’d Hit It” campaign.

The other night I saw they had a commercial with some foreign guy claiming he grew potatoes with pride for McD’s and how they made the best fries on earth. Really? The Best? Come on now. What a ridiculous claim. They aren’t anywhere near the best. They are semi ok if you eat them right away. After that they taste like a severed finger pulled from the snow. Don’t ask me how I know that.

I’m always amazed that so much money can be spent on failures because some douche went to college thinks they know it all. I didn’t graduate college, I’m just a normal guy and I have always been able to watch a movie preview or the first half of a new television show and tell with about a %95 accuracy if it’s a success or a fail. For some reason the high paid execs that greenlight this crap can’t see past their hopes for it to work and actually see the truth that it sucks.

If you surf the web with your underage daughter you run the risk of stumbling across risque material unless the “web-sight” has the word “Disney” in the title somewhere.

And that DEFINATELY makes you an unfit parent. Scarring her for life and all by viewing images of cartoon wangs on the Odd Todd “web-sight”. For shame. Where’s that phone number for the Child Protective Services agency?