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July 10, 2012

The Top Ten Reasons BEEF STOLEN-OFF Will Sell

I am so insecure when it comes to my own writing. I have
another book coming out this year and three coming out next year. I couldn’t
suck, right? Yet, insecure me sometimes looks over my shoulder to make sure
someone isn’t chasing me to take it all away. Last year when LIVER LET DIE
first came out I put together this top ten list, and I decided that it still
applies—maybe even more so. At the time I whined about the fact that Berkley bought three
books from me after only reading three chapters and that I was worried they wouldn’t like the finished
project. Thankfully, they loved that first manuscript as well as the next two.
I am currently working on Book 4 in the Clueless Cook series for them and just
recently I signed a two book deal with Midnight Ink for my paranormal
mainstream mystery series. Now, I can’t
seem to get my rump in gear and write those stupid books, so I’m whining again.

I know some of you out there would love to slap me right
now. Hey, I wanna slap myself. What is wrong with me? My life-long dream comes
true and I whine? The fact that I have two different editors at two different
houses paying for my stuff should make me swell with pride.

So, I need an attitude adjustment. I know if I write the
best I know how to, that’s all I can do. I just have to sit in the chair and
put words on the paper. Some people will
love it, some will think it’s so so, and others will wonder why I left the
medical field. Hopefully, the lovers will far outnumber the haters.

Anyway, with my new attitude, I decided to come up with a list
for the top ten reasons why I think my book will sell.

Ready?

10 – I have a lot of friends out there and I definitely plan
on playing the friendship card to get them to part with eight measly bucks.

9 – I’m not shy about leaving my business cards everywhere
and talking up my story.

8 – I plan on buying a couple hundred myself.

7 – Did I mention I am one of nine children? There are a lot
of little “like me’s” out there. My mother had 33 grandchildren, a slew of
great grandchildren and now two great great grandkids. That’s at least 50 or 60
books.

6 – If my children want to remain in my will, they’ll get
all their friends to spring for the paperback.

5 – Berkley
is a great publisher and people will try a new author based on their reputation
for printing great books.

4 – I said a novena to St. Jude (the patron saint of
impossible causes) to get this deal. Surely, he won’t abandon me now,
especially since I fired off a check to St. Jude’s hospital and Danny Thomas is
smiling at me from above.

3 – I am kinda cute and my picture will look good on the
back inside cover. I plan on paying big bucks to get air brushed to have twenty pounds knocked off and to have
my face look like a plum and not a prune. Of course, at book signings, I run
the risk of people thinking some older, chunky chick is trying to pull a fast
one.

2 – Writers are also readers and love to support each other.
I’m on a lotta freakin’ loops.

And the number one reason for thinking my
book will sell – It’s a damn good story!!!

There, my new attitude is alive and well. Do you still wanna
slap me?

Now let’s hear why your book will sell. Now’s not the
time for fake humility. Give it up. One lucky commenter will receive a free copy of BEEF STOLEN-OFF from Berkley. US only per their request.

Liz Lipperman writes mysteries to die for. BEEF STOLEN-OFF is the second book of her Clueless Cook Series about a wannabe sports reporter who ends up writing the culinary column at a small town newspaper in Texas despite the fact that she can't cook a lick. Her Romantic Mystery, MORTAL DECEPTION, written as Lizbeth Lipperman, is available now at Amazon and she's just sold a paranormal series titled A Dead Sister Talking Mysteries Series to Midnight Ink. The first book, HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE, also written as Lizbeth Lipperman, will release in May 2013. SHATTERED DREAMS, a Romantic Suspense will be available in the Fall. When she's not writing, she's spending time with her grandchildren and watching any and all sports.You can find her here.

Liz,The reason your book is gonna sell is you're a funny funny person. I'm sitting here at work laughing out loud. Love your top ten list. And if I had that many family members I'd be a NYT best-seller. So go girl. Now I'm going to steal your nouvena to St Jude.

Drinks in the bar in LA! You are going right? Now sit down at the computer, slit open a vein and let the words pour out. You've definately got the stories in you!

Yay, Sylvia, I love books that make me cry. This is the Santa Clause one, right?

And no, I won't be at Nationals this year. I'm going to the International Women's Fiction Festival in Italy in September with my agent and Joni (CP.) I'm on a panel and I'll get to rub noses with European editors.

LOL Liz! I love your attitude. My second book is coming out this summer, too...it'll sell because, like yours, it's a damn good book! I don't have as many relatives as you do, but they'll all be strong-armed into buying the book.

I KNOW your books will sell! Not only because of #6...SNORT! I laughed so hard when I saw that! You are so hilarious! Your book will also sell because you're an amazing writer! Your fantastic personality shines through in your writing....such quick wit, saucy and smart, smart, smart!!!! You make the PP retreat so much fun! And you have the VERY BEST TITLES IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!!!! And you're going to Italy with your agent and Joni to rub noses with European editors and you're whining? Come here...a little closer now...SO I CAN SLAP THE INSECURE OFF OF YOU!!!

Hi Liz,I love, love, love your list! And I love your writing b/c it's a damn good book!!! When you get your insecurity slapped off by Alisha, maybe one of you could come over and slap off mine? :) I'll take your #1, my book will sell b/c it's a damn good book!