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What is Wrong with Ads

Picture yourself applying a brand new deo which you are using for the first time in your life. Its fragrance is intoxicating and you are already feeling good inside. Now three situations might develop in your brain.

1. Hot women in large group or also called jawntourage running after you in their tinniest and most revealing clothes, trying to jump on you and hump you down or angels falling from heaven because your Smell is super awesome.
2. You see a girl offering a piece of cake to her boyfriend but you intervene and eat the cake from that afore mentioned girl’s hand and she gets physically attracted to you because you smell classy and hot at the same time. Because that’s how girls should behave, like a whore. Real Mature Guys.

3. Absolutely nothing will happen, May be someone in your office might notice it and may be pass a remark on your new Deodorant. But the chances of that someone being a girl are 50% because that someone might be that Gay dude who flirts with guys in your office all the time or may be one of your junior butt licks you by telling how awesome you smell today.

Chances of Situation 3 are most likely to happen because Situation 1 Is AXE Chocolate Deo Ad while Situation 2 is Set Wet Deo Ad. And trust me situation 1 and 2 won’t happen any soon, may be in the next 200-300 years when may be by any chance you are the only male left in this whole world surrounded by hot females all around you THEN it is slightly possible that they might run after you but that chasing won’t be for your Deo or something, You lucky bastard.

Ok Scenario number two, Picture yourself drinking a cool soda drink to quench your thirst in a hot summer afternoon. It’s cold enough to relieve you instantly from all the heat around you. Now three situations might develop.

You are standing on a cliff, all your friends are already in water, provoking you to make the jump but you are too afraid because you haven’t drink your Stupid ass Soda but once it’s down your throat, you have all the courage in the world to make the jump. (Side note- May be Government should distribute this particular Soda to Defense personals and fire fighters)

2. You and your friends are late for something(they never mentioned “Something” in Ads) and you have to cross the entire city, what do you do, You make a phone call saying sorry that you will be late or you book a taxi and ask him to press the accelerator harder. No because that’s what Sissy people or normal people would do but since you have your AWESOME drink in your hand, you gulp it down and you start jumping roof tops like a monkey and slide down from pipe lines like a freaking Mario.

Or

You and your friends decided to go for sky diving but since you have already sold your brain on eBay, you dive from the plane while sitting on sofa sipping your AWESOME drink and your sofa is having parachute, (whoever wrote this ad must be having serious Mental issues, because even while making a mockery of it, I am feeling like a moron)

Or

2. You and your friends went to a store to buy yourself a cold drink but the stock of your beloved drink hasn’t arrived and the truck carrying the stock is stuck in a traffic jam, so you hire a Helicopter, jump on the truck standing on the road, tie it to the helicopter by cables and bring it to store so that you can lay your hands on your drink and you finally did something “toofani” except for the fact that you just invested thousands of rupees just to buy a can of soda which you could have got from the next store or was it the only store on the whole damn earth, is your soda so worthless that only one store in the whole world sell it?

3. You will feel good, a cold sensation will remain in your body for 2 minutes and that’s it, nothing special will happen.

Chances on Situation 3 are again very likely to happen, because you are drinking a plain good old fashioned soda and not some Steroid. People doing Daring activities like Sky diving or Mountaineering never write in their logs that they had a big glass of a soda for Courage or power. And the last time I remember someone getting courage and physical strength from some beverage or eatable item was Popeye and it was to encourage kids to start eating green vegetables esp. spinach and it was a cartoon however far better than these stupid ads.

This is Prakhar Gupta. Have a nice day and be safe from these stupid yet effective marketing tactics.