Ask Sugardaters: Doubts about sugar dating

First of all I would like to know if there is a specific type of characteristics I would have to have to be part of this world, that is because I would not necessarily describe myself as thin or an extremely beautiful woman, so I’m having doubts about that part. The second is that: Is doing this because of curiosity a bad thing? Is just that I am right now at college, and I have never liked boys my age (21) or a little older. I have always found them (as potential romantic partners) irritating and frustrating. I think it is because even if I like my Independence and I consider myself as a strong woman at the end of the day I would like someone by my side who “knows” what to do and takes the lead instead second guessing all. But I don’t know where I could meet older men.

Also as I already told you I have never found someone I could completely like, so I have never been in a long relationship (though I have been wanting one) and thus I am a virgin, so I’m also worried about that part of the arrangement. Would I have to have sex early on the relationship with my partner if I ever get one? I would really like this questions answered before getting into this type of thing, so I would be immensely grateful if you could help me with this.

Yours sincerely

Hello and thank you for sharing with us your thoughts and doubts.

First of all, there are no specific appearance characteristics that a girl must have to be part of the Sugar Dating world. Sugar Dating is a relationship that in order to be built it needs more than “beauty”. As with conventional dating, attitude and personality play a more important role than appearance. You should focus more on building yourself from the inside out. External appearance is mostly relevant for limited periods.

Regarding the “I wouldn’t describe myself as an extremely beautiful woman”, nobody embodies 100% the ideal of another person. There is always a detail on us that someone else has it in a better version (and the other way around). Also, taste and preferences change all the time. What is considered beautiful or ideal today, it can be seen as insufficient tomorrow (and in reverse).

Secondly, in general it is a good thing to be curious and to try different stuff. The same goes for romantic relationships. You’re 18-20 years old. This is a time to experiment and to sexually discover yourself. It’s not a time for worrying or doubting too much. Save that for middle age! There is nothing wrong with trying out different kinds of dating experiences and lifestyles. You might find that sugar dating suits you or you might as well discover the exact opposite. Either way, you will never know unless you try it.

Liking an old man doesn’t necessarily means that you are with him for money or that you are trying to set yourself for a life of leisure. You are starting to recognise the benefits of being with someone at a different stage of life than yourself. Older men are usually preferred by women because they are more world-wise, more responsible and they have already set up a life that has room for you. In the world of Sugar Dating we call these men “Sugar Daddies”. The fact that this word is socially connected to other concepts is another story.

Last, you should not stress out too much about your first time. If you feel that you are craving sex, this means that you are ready. If you feel unsure, then you probably are not ready. You should do it only if you want it and if you feel confortable with the other person. You shouldn’t do it because it is part of an arrangement.

For general inquiries, or to submit a question to Ask SugarDaters®, email kelly@sugardaters.com.