Personally, I like to celebrate cake as often as possible - with more cake.

And finally, a few favs from the archives:

Perfect!

Also known as "Bubble and Squeak."

(That's for you English Wreckies. Please, no need to thank me.)

The lawyers insisted.

Update: I've since heard from the owner of that last bakery, who as I recall blamed the sign on an in-law. Heh. At any rate, I think the sign has now been removed. See? Another example of the power of Wreckage, used for good! :D

"combination of a confectioner's pastry and the Latin word deratoria, meaning "the unspeakable", a professional bakery employee who designs, quality checks, or creates cakes that render the recipients speechless.

But, I think the true essence of the term "Cake Derator" is in the anagram it creates: "Karate Decor."

(I like to imagine "Karate Decor" as being a baby's bedroom decorated with ninjas.)"

well... that "cake derator" either injects frosting into the sponge (like you'd inject vodka into a watermelon or something) or it injects frosting where the sun don't shine (with star and rosette tips to add to the fun!! eeuww!)

I've no idea what a cake derator does. Perhaps they find the most gorgeous cakes and use that ominous looking syringe thing to write "FAIL" in red icing across it, effectively de-rating the cake. Wedding cakes get glittery red icing.

A Cake Derator is the bakery's defense against wreckporters. It makes the CWs immune to being rated and posted on Cake Wrecks, no matter how wrecky they are--in the spirit of those radar detector thingies that speeders use to keep from getting caught on the highways. Wrecks all around. There should be a law against them!

"But my English teacher told me to 'Open my mouth and speak' and not to be afraid of making mistakes! That's what I did! My English was good enough to get me this job as product translator! How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to CHECK each word to make sure it was a real word?!"

I get such a good laugh everytime I read your posts. I love to make and decorate cakes and I am in no way a professional so it really makes me giggle to see cakes that look...well...a little different for a nice way to put it.As for that cake derator definition....i got nothin'

I'm sure you know this, but there really is such a thing as "war cake," although I cannot imagine that the unidentifiable object pictured has anything to do with it. The real thing is a spice cake made without eggs, milk, or butter, which were expensive and hard to get during the World Wars. (No, it's not my favorite flavor of cake, either. Give me good, old, extravagant, German chocolate . . . )

cake derator - n., combination of a confectioner's pastry and the Latin word deratoria, meaning "the unspeakable", a professional bakery employee who designs, quality checks, or creates cakes that render the recipients speechless.

But, I think the true essence of the term "Cake Derator" is in the anagrams it creates:"O Cake Retard!" and "Karate Decor."

(I like to imagine "Karate Decor" as being a baby's bedroom decorated with ninjas.)

I don't understand the concept of war cake. Is the baker declaring war on cake by piling lumps of chocolate broken in rage all over it?

The cake derator is actually misspelled. To delate means to accuse or denounce something and the cake delator was created as an instrument to further hatred and humiliation of cakes. It is often the device responsible for the more unfortunate wrecks that leave us scratching our heads and asking why? Yes, sadly there is an underground movement of people who purposely abuse and wreck cakes to satisfy their own sick hatred of cakey goodness. Little known fact: this is the same movement responsible for the creation of CCCs! Behold their instrument of evil!

@ Latter-Day Flapper: OMG! The cake you're talking about is called "Crazy Cake" - and believe it or not, it's the BEST CHOCOLATE CAKE EVER!!! No eggs, no milk, but somehow, it's fantastic! (I have the recipe if anyone's interested :)

A "Cake Derator" is the finest tool in any Wreckorator's arsenal. It effectively blocks any intelligence from passing from brain through hands to cake, enabling hilarious misspellings, misunderstandings, and other Wreck-appropriate misses! "Derrr... the order form says 'I want sprinkles', so that's what I'll write on the cake!" Jen, I think you invented this product yourself to keep the blog going ;)

Cake derator (noun):A moderator of bad cakes - as in Jen of Cake Wrecks.Proper spelling is "cakederator" and quotes are optional when using this word! Thanks for another laugh filled (not mouse filled)day!

I didn't read all the comments yet so I'm not sure that this was posted.

The 'cake derator' was just a simple smudge of the ink while printing. It's should say 'aerator'. This allows the baker to make the cake super light and airy while also giving taste tests to all around without the client noticing! No need to build up the frosting on that corner that 'accidentally' broke off.

I'm still chuckling about the poison bakery. Given that there are other languages identifying the establishing I went to the french, where poison means fish. But fish bakery doesn't really make sense either so I've decided to move on.

A cake derator, of course! A cake derator is the secret of bakers of all wreckie cakes everywhere. Instead of an aerator, which would inject air, a derator injects dares into all cakes that dare us to eat them. All cakes with poop swirls, unnatural neonish colors, designs that defy all logic and cohesion and of course, the dreaded lumpy CCC cake, all have been injected with dares using the lauded cake derator. Of course, in classic wreckie fashion, derator has been misspelled. It should be darator, of course.

Well, to "derate" is to lower the electrical capacity on appliances, so I think to "cake derate" (which a cake derator would do) is to either lower the edibility or visual-decency capacity on cakes... right?

For those of us who now have the same 3 lines stuck in our heads and can't remember the rest of the song, here are the lyrics:

War! huh-yeah. What is it good for?Absolutely nothing. Uh-huh. War! huh-yeah. What is it good for?Absolutely nothing. Say it again, y'all. War! huh. Good God. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Listen to me! Ohhh? War! I despise because it means destruction of innocent lives. War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes when their sons go to fight and lose their lives. I said - War! Huh. Good God ya'll. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again. War! Whoa, Lord ...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Listen to me? War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker. War! Friend only to the undertaker. War! It's an enemy to all mankind. The thought of war blows my mind. War has caused unrest in the younger generation. Induction then destruction-Who wants to die? Ohhh? War! Good God y'all. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it, Say it, Say it. War! Uh-huh Yeah - Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Listen to me? War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker. War! It's got one friend, that's the undertaker. War has shattered many a young mans dreams. Made him disabled, bitter and mean. Life is much to precious to spend fighting wars these days. War can't give life, it can only take it away. War! Huh. Good God y'all. What is it good for?Absolutely nothing. Say it again War! Whoa, Lord ...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Listen to me? War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker. War! Friend only to the undertaker. Peace, Love and Understanding; tell me, is there no place for them today? They say we must fight to keep our freedom but Lord knows there's got to be a better way. War! Huh. Good God y'all. What is it good for? You tell me. Say it, Say it, Say it. War! Huh. Good God y'all. What is it good for? Stand up and shout it. Nothing!

step 1: fill the vessle with the thick white 'cream'step 2: insert the tip as far as you can into the premade holestep 3: inject the 'cream' step 4: Congratulations you have sucessfully filled your baby cakes!

My dear ladies and jellybeans---Cherry Flavored, sit down.We shall now enlighten the audience with the defination of a "Cake Derator". (Stop clapping, Lime.) A cake derator is a tool essential to ALL bakeries. After all, what bakery DOESN'T want to be on "Cake Wrecks". (A surge of bakers rise to their feet) Oh......Erm.....Uh--- In conclusion, it is the duty of all citizens to eat the deratored cakes as support for bakers who can't afford cake DECORATORS. Thankyou.Deratored cake will be served at intermission.

I just need to say that that chocolate cake in the first pic looks completely yummy. *drool* What a chocoholic dream!Not sure why it's a "War Cake" though? At "War" with someone allergic to chocolate maybe? lol

A Cake Derator is of course a weapon, cleverly disguised as a cake decorating tool. "Bakers" use these to shoot poison icing at anyone who comes in their bakery to mock their latest "designs." I'd be careful if I were you Jen... Don't take the phrase "Cake or Death" too lightly Jen, I'm just sayin'...

Cake Derator: Properly punctuated for clarity would be Cake De-rat-or, or the mini pastry gun used to keep the rats away from the cake. Come with several decorative missiles. A must-have for any professional bakery!

A cake derator is an item that instantly turns the cake into a Wreck when used to decorate it (either by adding unneeded letters, or apostrophes, or something else entirely). It de-rates the cake, you see.

A Derator is something like a debrider, only it works internally. Here's how: Using Royal Icing, decorate the entire surface of your cake with tiny stars. Now showcase your lovely creation prominently in your display window for a few months, until the dust has settled nicely into every crevice. The icing stars should now be set, and hard as granite. Serve to your guests, and just watch their surprise as their esphogi are derated!

Are your "cakes" anemic, lifeless, void of pizzazz? Rejoice! Now there's the Cake Derator to solve all your cake-y problems. Just insert a cartridge of nitrous oxide, adrenaline, or methamphetamine (cartridges sold separately) in the handy syringe, insert the tip in the cake, and "PRESTO!" Your cake will be lively, exciting, the toast of the party.

And if you call now, we'll double the offer, and you'll get twoCake Derators for the price of two, including extra syringe tips and a starter cartridge of hydrochloric acid to get you started! Don't delay! Order your Cake Derator today!*

Well, the cake derators have been extra-busy lately. I may have to eat a mouse-filled pastry to calm down. And thanks to you, I know I'll spend the rest of the day humming "War Cake-- What is it good for? Absolutely nuthin'! Huh!"

I didn't know what a "Cake Derator" was until I saw the sign for Mouse Filled Party Cakes (which would be perfect for my cat's birthday, by the way). Obviously, a Cake De-rat-or is used to remove rats from cakes when the baker has mistakenly filled your cake with rats instead of mice, so you can then fill the cakes with proper mice.

I don't know what's up with the "Poison Bakery," but maybe there's a clue in the German signs in the window (e.g. "Kase Kuchen" = "Cheesecakes"). The word "gift" in German means "poison" in English, which is why German tourists laugh themselves silly when they see a sign for a "Gift Shop." So, maybe through some kind of backwards computer assisted re-translation, a bakery for gift cakes turned into a "Poison Bakery."

Obviously the cake derator was packaged by a wreckerator's family member. It should read: Cake Berator. For all those moments when you just have to assault a cake with too much flotsam, squiggly misplaced ninja stars, scary babies, and other paraphernalia. That would certainly qualify as berating an otherwise innocent cake.

I was going to mention War Cake's origins, but I see some have beaten me to it... I never liked it. Takes out all the good stuff ;)

A cake "derator" (or, more appropriately, deaerator) is a cylindrical device used in the removal of "hot air," or ego, from certain cakewrecks usually called boiler cakes or boiler CCC's, sub category: boiler patooey!.

These particular wrecks are done by wreck artists that see no problem with what they've constructed on cakes no matter the offense or distress it has caused insofar as to calling it art and making a living by it.

Jen's Cakewrecks™ blog is a long-form version of a cake deaerator.

The device shown here leads to instant gratification, allowing the wreckie, or person who received the wreck, to physically disarm the cake using various torture implements without enacting any actual damage on the wrecker.

While the blog acts as a more subversive agent I much prefer the end result of Jen's patented long-form cake deaerator. It often has a more effective and less messy end result.

Besides, that may be a fancy schmancy cake deaerator but I find that a fork often works just as well if not better.

The War Cake pictured is made by Publix but is usually called Chocolate War Cake. It is Devil's Food cake, fudge icing, jagged shards of chocolate and chocolate dipped strawberries. It is so good. My office will order one for special events.

Nobody's ever been quite sure about the origin of the mystical cake derator, but what is known about it is this: it is created with a little bit of magic. It does just what it sounds like it would do: it de-rates cakes. That is, it adds an impermeable layer to the cake with the frosting that keeps the cake from being rated, as in judged. No cake that has been decorated with a cake derator ever receives negative comments (or positive comments), as every being that sees it is immediately stricken speechless. It has been rumored that the cake derator is now sold by a devious decorating company as an easy way to raise money off of wreckorators (for every wreckorator worth his/her sugar has heard the legend of that magical item which will keep the wielder's cakes free from insult).

War cake--hmm. college town? maybe they sell those for food fights? cream pies are a better choice, but with those chocolate spikes, maybe this means "war" (and it's gonna hurt).

cake derator was obviously made in China. Where everything is made these days and English is tough to grasp. Maybe they ran out of room on the package. Still working on a definition/function of a cake derator.

"Poison Bakery"! LOL practical joke? language problem? Chinese mafia post? would love to know the back story on THAT one....

My office prefers to avoid superfluous punctuation, so instead of putting sorry in quotes, we do things like writting "sorry for the inconvenience" in a font at least five points smaller than whatever the rest of the sign is in.

The definition offered by Taylor@MyOlderBrothers gets my vote. After reading his, I didn't want to even try. I was thinking something very similar, but he states it so much more eloquently. Love it! I also vote him as guest moderator/blogger/poster (what is the correct title, anyway?) - if you and John ever decide to take some time off. Between him and the fantastic Anne-Marie, we'd manage quite well until you returned. (As long as you promised to actually return!!!)

By the way, I'm with Anne-Marie on the War Cake! Even as ugly as it looks, I'd eat all that yummy chocolate in a heartbeat. In my world, there's no such thing as "too much chocolate." (or fun!)

Cake Derator: a syringe-like apparatus that removes the inside portion of the cake, thus leaving only the wrecky decorations on the outside. This is used to make a statement: it's the inside that counts.

Gah, nothing like a "Cake Derator" to spice up your culinary life, eh? My (fantasy) definition would be something like this:

Cake Derator (noun): A weapon that relies on air preassure and cake pieces to expell cake at a lethal speed towards a target; opperation is similar to that of a water gun, but a pump is used, instead of a trigger. EXAMPLE: ( Hmmm...Cake Derator. Me like. Turn down the speed volume on the ol' derator and shoot cake into opponant's mouth!)

1) A simple misspelling (which you're all too familiar with, I'msure). That should be a "cake deaerator", which, of course, is used to deaerate cakes. Because there's nothing worse than a fluffy, bubbly cake full of air.

2) It's you! Again, a misspelling, it should have been "cakederater", one whom lowers the ratings of cakes. If that's not you, then I'm not me! (Except that I am. QED)

And mouse-filled cake? how often does THAT misprint happen. and yet, most people probably don't recognize it. What a hilarious image. And gross! Is that the cake they try to sell you after the mice from the rodent-infested kitchen have moved in? Can't waste cake, now. At least the advertising is honest.

"Bubble and squeak"--LOL!! Great reference! (isn't that some sort of Scottish porridge that gets its name from how it sounds when it cooks?)

I wonder if the mouse filled cake is filled with live mice or dead ones? Were they found at the poison bakery, too?

interesting insights, btw, Gary!

wv: rumbucl: a type of rum cake filled with clothing accessory pieces. like a mardi gras king cake with a "prize" in a bite. (Didn't the Little Rascals make a cake like this in one episode? And come to think of it, instead of bubbling and squeaking, that one bubbled and groaned. Before it blew up)

Actually, the Cake Derator is a really old-fashioned (pre-icing bag) dispenser of frosting. Mom and Ma-in-Law both had similar ones with which to decorate homemade cakes - in fact, I just tossed one out last week when I found it lurking in the back of a cabinet. Problem is, it takes both hands to squooge the icing out, leaving _no_ hands available to actually direct the flow in the desired direction. Very hard to use; I've used them to decorate sugar cookes (which is why my sugar cookies don't have icing on 'em any more). Icing/pastry bags are soooo much easier!

Anne-marie, like duh! of COURSE we want the recipe! This is a CAKE blog, after all! and there are plenty of chocoholics on here so don't be hoardin' the "best chocolate cake ever" recipe on us now that you've teased us with it! (why is it called "crazy cake"? do you go crazy for it? is it a cake for women having PMS, hence, crazy and war are related?)

wv: unreadi: "Give me a second! the cake is unreadi until I use this cake derator on it!"

Many thanks to Linda in NY for the lyrics to the song "War" made famous by Edwin Starr in 1969. Reading the lyrics made me curious about the song--I was just a kid when it came out and so it was the "HUH" that I remember and nothing else. But geez, those lyrics are really pretty powerful. You can see Mr. Starr sing it himself:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-2pNCZiNk

Thanks for the impetus to get a short history lesson today.I would say that cake pictured looked like a war zone, though.

Your bilingual Canadian neighbours can help you with this one:Like the Poison Bakery, something was lost in the translation. The derator comes from the French verb "rater" (rat-ay) which means "to fail" (ex: J'ai raté mon examen: I failed my exam) .

The Derater is highly appropriate to Cake Wrecks fans as to "de-rater" is to undo your failures. Just line that baby up, pull back on the plunger and it will suck up all your frosted spelling errors, miss-shapen flowers and poo-like blobs.

We have them in every grocery store up here. I'm just surprised you've never seen a derator before! Glad to be of help. Bon appétit!

"War Cake," as in "It's chocolate covered shrapnel, thus the awkward shape?" Or because they shot the strawberries right into the side, which would explain their odd placement? Was a derator used to make this? Without a doubt!

Maybe "Derator" is actually a misspelling of "Detonator?"

*sigh...*

wv: "shife"-- similar to what I said when I realized I just posted this comment under the heading "Special Deliveries" from a couple days ago. :D

I confess to being somewhat annoyed by the "engrish" jokes. Usually I enjoy Cake Wrecks humour, but in this case I think you should refrain. The "engrish" thing is not only over-used, but it also reinforces an unfortunate facet of American culture: xenophobia, and the "making fun" of immigrants. Hate to be the negative one, but I do find it offensive, and I'm not the only one.

I once worked in a store with a bakery, and the bakery manager insisted that using quotes for emphasis was perfectly fine and didn't understand why someone would think it ridiculous. So I erased all her signs.

I'm a long-time reader, first time writer. I wish this comment was spurred under better circumstances.

What the heck is up with the "brog" remark? What sort of humor are you going for?

Is it the oh-so-not-cliched joke based on the fact that people who are raised surrounded primarily by one or more of the literal thousands of East Asian dialects sometimes switch the L and the R phonemes in speech, because the hard-wiring for certain sound pairs happens in infancy and is one of the first steps toward learning a language, so that the distinction between that particular sound pair then, becomes vestigial and is erased in the brain's speech center during language acquisition in a person's first few years of life, and thus can only rarely be fully retrained?

Whew! Oh man, isn't that "HIRARIOUS?"

Ah, the facts of neurobiology... you give us such delightful racist jokes.

Well, if we assume the "Wreckorator" has a poor grasp of the alphabet, we can see that he meant to make the "W" in to an "M" which would make it a "Mar" cake. But then he was in a huury, so he hastily wrote "r", which should actually have been an "n". Therefore, the cake is really supposed to be a "Man" cake. "Get" "it"?

As others have said, "War Cake" is a real kind of cake. I can't say for sure if that particular cake pictured follows an authentic war cake recipe or if they've just co-opted a title for something irrelevant... but just having a cake with a sign saying "War Cake" doesn't seem like much of a Wreck to me.

And the "Best Chocolate Cake Ever" recipe looks like the "Six Minute Chocolate Cake" from the Moosewood cookbook. It truly is the most AMAZINGLY delicious chocolate cake in existence. You can mix it up right in the pan, no need to use a bowl first.

It's true that it's not great when warm. Let it cool down, put on some glaze or icing or just eat it plain... oooohhhh so good.

In response to the "Celebrate Cakes" sign, wanted to let you know that I just got home from the Second Annual Cake Awareness Conference in Jerusalem, Israel. I think we were very successful in spreading the message of this very important cause. All kinds of cakes were represented, and lectures included:

Cake, Global Warming, and World Peace"Let them Eat Cake!": Aren't There Any Other Cake Quotes?The Edible Word and Cake Identity in a Post-Colonial SocietyRainbow Cake: Is It Political?and finally, Lower Your Expectations: When Good Cake Goes Bad (with visuals from CakeWrecks - you'd be proud)

I am hosting next year and we'd love to have you as our keynote speaker if you happen to be on this side of the world. :)

A "cake derator" is probably some form of Engrish. Over at the Engrish Brog you'll see all kinds of messed-up English. There was one sign that was supposed to say "Do not urinate here. There is a security camera," but the "transrator" screwed up big-time and it now says "No P***ing (On the security camera)".

Cake Derator - A unique product which uses the latest in "fuzzy logic" to automatically misspell any word written with it. Cake Derators are suspected in the "Under Neat That" and "Falker Satherhood" incidents.

Well.. I am embarassed to say that I work for the company that the "War Cake" is from. I wish I could slap those "Decorators".. and the Manager, as the sharpied case tag is pretty special, considering we can print out a tag that says anything. I get so sad when I see our store on here.

PS, I belive the War cake as a signature cake we had many years ago, that looked NOTHING like that.

As for the "Poison Bakery": The writing says "쁘아종제과점" (ppeu-a-jong je-gwah-jawm). Jegwajom is the Korean word for bakery. Unfortunately after searching, I found that Ppeuajong really just means "Poison" (it's not the actual Korean word for poison, but it's the sound of the English word "Poison" in Korean letters. Korean doesn't have a "z" sound, but when saying the word "poison" there is a slight z sound. In place of the "z" they use the "j" sound. When writing "pizza hut" it becomes something like "pija"!). Poisson, as in the French word, might be "푸아송" (pu-a-song) in Korean.

Well after all that, it still really doesn't explain why they called it poison bakery!

cake derator: either a hillbilly is trying to get across to his mom that a "deer-ate-her" cake, or, the more scholarly version: cake deration: to lower the rated electrical capability of electrical apparatus. in this case: to lower the price of the rated cake decorating abilities.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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