19 Things You’ll Never Hear a Cornellian Say

Saying them would be like having the Lynah Unfaithful

Get more Spoon in your feed.

Get Spoon University delivered to you

You tryna be tricky? That email doesn't look right.

There are certain things you will never hear a Cornellian say. Just as certain as the fact that Cornell is in Ithaca or that the weather isn’t exactly the best, Cornell students won’t say these 19 things.

It’s pretty late. You’re coming back from a night out with your friends. Just as you start to think that food sounds like a good idea, you pass Louie’s. Nothing ever seemed like a better idea than those fries or that burger.

Every Wednesday Level B has a fishbowl filled with alcohol, which is accompanied by a plastic toy, for just $18. What more could you need to know?

7. “Cornell peanut butter is the worst.”

Photo by Katherine Carroll

Cornell’s fresh ground peanut butter, especially with honey added, is pretty much to die for. It has definitely converted many who disliked it into lovers of the creamy butter. Even better, peanut butter is actually good for you.

It’s freshman year, late at night. You have two problem sets and an essay due in the morning, but you just can’t work anymore. What do you do? Go to Nasties for a calzone or some other much needed snack.

The Heights is a classic for a parent visit. It has everything that you never get when your parents aren’t taking you: tablecloths, fancy plating, and desserts that you have to order with your entrees.

12. “I didn’t spend the first month of freshman year eating ice cream at every meal.”

Combining ice cream being available at all times of day with the freedom to eat unlimited amounts of food and first experiencing the stress of college leads freshmen to eat copious amounts of ice cream. Especially in the first couple weeks of school, it is totally unnatural to leave the dining hall without a cup or cone. And if it does make you gain the freshman 15, it’s totally okay.

Because of the locally-developed dairy products thanks to Cornell’s very own Department of Food Science, the Cornell Dairy products are some of the freshest around. Even if you aren’t right on campus anymore, don’t worry, they now deliver Cornell Dairy ice cream.

14. “Waffle Frolic has no options.”

Photo by Allison Wild

Waffle Frolic, a restaurant located in the Ithaca Commons, offers a variety of options to create your own waffle. To add onto the choice of a buttermilk, hemp and buckwheat, cornbread, or gluten-free vegan waffle, waffle-lovers can choose from over 20 different toppings. To top it all off, there are also sandwiches, coffees, and smoothies.

15. “An event with free food? I won’t be there.”

No self-respecting foodie will ever turn down free food, especially not a college student on a budget. Some activities even include the fact that they are providing food in their advertisements in order to attract more people.

Wegmans is a super supermarket. Shopping there can be a whole day affair with aisle after aisle of different foods, especially foreign foods that may be hard to find anywhere else and fresh bakery products. Additionally, their market cafe is so good that some students may find themselves there for a meal without even going grocery shopping.

Every fall, the Ithaca Commons gets taken over by apples, restaurant food, wine and cider, and games and rides. Students stuff themselves with caramel apples, baked goods, kettle corn, and different cuisines. What more could you want?

18. “Bleh. Cornell apple cider.”

Local Cornell apples grown right in Cornell Orchards, processed, packaged, and sold right on campus makes for some of the best apple cider around. Not to mention there are even cider dispensers right in the dining halls that make it a breeze for students to enjoy this local delicacy.

HADM 4300: Introduction to Wines is without a doubt one of the most popular classes at Cornell. It is so popular that unless you are a student in the Hotel School, you aren’t even eligible to take it until senior year. It’s truly an experience that no one wants to miss.