Thursday, August 28, 2008

Civilized Camping. I can't sleep this morning, I'm too excited about going on vacation, granted 4 days in the woods isn't DisneyWorld, however, we're still really excited about literally escaping. So, I'm listing 13 items that we're packing to make the trip more "civilized."

1. My bed: for my birthday, Eric got me an air mattress that blows up and sits on a nice stand that's a regular bed sized height and queen sized. No pregnant woman sleeping in a bag on the ground here!

2. Decaf Tazo Chai: Did you know Kroger carries this little blessing in a box, and that all you have to do is mix it half and half with milk and you have a scrumptious cool morning festive beverage.3. Tea pot: Yes, our site has electricity, and I'm packing my coffeepot so I can make tea with honey for breakfast in the mornings. Eric even picked me up a sampler of 5 different decaf fruity teas. Yum-o.

4. Toaster: Have you tried to toast bread over the fire? Seriously, takes 2 years. Sometimes, it's just nice to have a little pre-breakfast before you actually cook breakfast over the fire since it's nearly lunchtime by the time you eat it anyway, so really a pre-breakfast is necessary.

6. The Pack and Play: Can I tell you, this is one of those times when I'm actually glad that Chris is still so small he can still fit in the Pack and Play. Now we don't have to worry about him breaking out of the tent.7. Shanghai Rummy: When the babies sleep, the parents play cards!

8. Sandwich maker: Not one of those plug in ones, that would be TOO Crazy, but Kathleen has some sort of contraption that will make grilled cheeses over the fire, AND here's the awesome, you can put fruit filling between bread slices for scrumptious little fruit pies. It will take a while, but how lovely to start dessert to cooking while you eat dinner.

9. Puppy Chow: Mike is making a double batch just for the occasion, likely as I speak. Will it make it past tomorrow?

10. Bananas, a flavored selection of chocolate chips, and whipped cream: Picture it, tin foil folded up and inside baked in the fire are a banana and chocolate chips (or butterscotch, or peanut butter chips). Open it up, spray with whipped cream and dig in with a spoon. Haven't tried this recipe, but I'm drooling just thinking about it. Oh, I'm going to need to pack spoons!

11. Grandma Pat Pickles and Homemade Salsa and Hot Sauce: I just canned a new batch of pickles 2 weeks ago, and I am looking forward to sampling on hot dogs. Of course, we're bringing hot dogs that my Dad picked up for us from Ted's back in New York. I told you this was civilized camping.

12. Savory Honey Gray Poupon-Packing sandwiches for a lunch on the go, not without my new favorite mustard. Have you tried this? Dude. I don't even like Gray Poupon, and I like this.

13. Cucumber Noodle Salad-For the aforementioned Tube Meat Extravaganza, one must need a side item, and this is my Favorite summer side. Sliced fresh (from my garden) cucumbers, onions, penne pasta, tossed in a sweet light vinaigrette that improves the older it is, almost like sweet pickles in a salad, but fresher, does that make sense? Anyway, I have to buy noodles this morning, or I can't make it. Gotta go to the store.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

You all know I'm a blog stalker, if you have names in the sides of your columns, I visit them. I rarely talk, but I visit, unless you have a million like Jen. Anyway, a friend of mine used to live in Minnesota. She brought a blog to my attention this past spring, in prayer request, this baby they said he wasn't going to survive to 25 weeks in utero, and was born full term, but with heart problems. He had some heart surgery right off, and ended up getting a g-tube the same weekend that Chris did. They had to do a rather drastic cardiac surgery last week, and I tried to follow and keep up, but we'd been so busy, I'd missed a few days of posting. When I hopped on the this morning, this baby, Johnathon David, all of 4 months old, had passed away yesterday due to complications from surgery. It's been heavy on my heart all day.

My heart hurts for this family.

They have a daughter Chris's age, and last week, they took her into the Infant ICU, and she was giving him love, and was so upset to leave, that she called him just to say goodnight; it just broke my heart. I think of them, and think of Chris.

I really am so blessed. All this drama with Chris, I don't think his life has been in danger, ok we were scared when he stopped breathing in the NICU post-op a couple times due to his morphine allergy. But still, not life-threatening, not in the short term. Not like this. It stops my heart to think that something could take my baby away from me...or even this baby I carry. I've been asked multiple times by family over the last few days, if I want a girl or a boy. With all my heart, I just say, I want healthy! This becomes so much more important and prominent in my heart and mind today. The kicker is, I didn't even know this family, friends of friend of a friend, and I just read their story, and now I do know them. Now my heart aches for them.

My head knows God can call our babies or any of us home anytime, that it's all part of his plan, but still, it seems that He's been stocking up on Little Angels lately. That hurts my heart, for all of those left behind.

So, today we took it easy. We had already decided to stay home. Chris chose, he told me I want to stay home, given the opportunity to see friends. That was fine. I wanted some quiet non-tv time, so we took a walk just on our street. It was one of those moments, you know, where time stops, and you just want to preserve it in a little jar. Maybe the grass was a bit greener, the breeze a bit cooler, a beautiful day to treasure the miracle of life just for us. We walked down to the bench by the pond, holding hands; Chris told me to sit down next to him, so I did. Then we got up and walked around a bit more, looking for flowers and bees and butterflies. I sat down backwards on the bench, facing the street, he got upset, and he told me Upside Down Bottoms! I laughed so hard. He meant My Bottom was backwards, but he told me Upside Down Bottoms. It was good just to walk in the sun, hold his hand. Our lunch consisted of fresh strawberries, juicy and warm, fresh picked from our garden. And we cuddled.

So, now, I'm going to go sit with him, and maybe sew, but just cuddle a bit more. I just feel a little bit extra need to hold his beautiful Healthy Hand right now.

Friday, August 22, 2008

1. Dancing to the music on the radio while singing into wire whisks and other kitchen utensils makes me feel like a kid again. My sister and I used to give regular rock concerts in the kitchen, and we were good. I don't know what prompted me to remember that.

2. The last time I brushed my teeth I nearly puked. I think my dental health is going to suffer a bit during this pregnancy.

3. When I drive I pray. I know, I'm a hazard on the roads! But only when I close my eyes! I've been working on that. I'm especially thankful for His presence during or after near accidents, for me and others, or simply for God's gifts of nature observed while driving.

4. I saw Ryan Stiles standing out back of the Who's Line building when we were living in L.A. and tried to get in as the audience and failed; he was out back smoking a cigarette.

5. Give me Peace, give me Love, give me Strength.

6. Next week I am looking forward to taking my boys camping with the Julius family for Labor Day weekend, and getting out of town Thursday afternoon!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to my youngest brother in law, Karl, and his bride to be, Erica, it's their rehearsal dinner at Boulder Creek!, tomorrow my plans include Karl and Erica's wedding, and Sunday, I want to take a big fat nap! However, we're doing "Family Reunion" because everyone is in town for the wedding. It will be fun, Eric's family is great, but I will be so in need of a nap.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

13 Things that have happened in the last two days, mostly details about doctor's visits and whatnot.

1. I met my own Dr. K, who will be likely delivering Baby #2, and she's quite the awesome.2. My appointment was right here in Brownsburg, and I only had to drive 5 minutes and that included getting in and out of the car...all by myself. Amazingly, Daddy stayed home and watched his own boy. I know, in the morning, during normal business hours, Dogs and Cats!3. She did not think me crazy for my first questions being where do you deliver, and where's their NICU?3. She's based out of Clarian North. (In partnership with Riley Children's Hospital = Very Good NICU)4. She also has privileges with St. Vincent's so I could go to either St. Vincent's Womens or Carmel, also very lovely. I have my CHOICE of hospitals with NICUs where we can go, she was totally flexible, and we'll discuss which one as we get closer.5. She thought letting me go naturally was great, not opposed to VBAC. She said she prefers to see if I'll go naturally. It was like, yeah! Because I either want to a. go naturally, or b. just do the c-section, no induction again. Didn't work for me.6. She didn't think it crazy that I didn't want to induce again, but rather if faced with a repeat episode of Pre-eclampsia, we agreed to just go ahead and book a c-section.7. I'm not 11 weeks pregnant, which is where I'd fall if I went by first day last period, but since I'm SO not normal like that, she agreed with me that odds are about 6 weeks. (Today 7!) She wants another ultrasound to be sure. Yeah, more pictures!8. She didn't think I was crazy. Did I mention that? I loved that about her. 9. Christopher had his own hospital workup done this morning.10. First he got his old tube pulled out and a Mic-key button put in. It was amazing how fast the doctor did it, right there in her office, just WHIP, pulled out the old(after we've spent months being so careful to have that happen it felt really weird to see her yank it out.) It bled a lot, but then she just SLIP the new one in and blew it up. The new one is like a flip top thing that locks to the feeding tubing, and is only a bit on top of his skin, and latches inside with a bubble filled with water, kind of like a catheter. Quite secure. 11. Poor baby also got a silver nitrate treatment, which burns away granulation tissue at the same time. 12. He does still dangle tubing from his backpack when he gets a feeding. 13. Chris gets spoiled after he gets tortured. He is watching as many Fraggles and he wants to watch.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

So Eric said something to me tonight that sounded so funny. I wanted to know if I'm just punchy or if it strikes you as funny too. Picture it: I call him to talk to him as he goes from work straight to his church council meeting. He's not looking forward to a long, boring meeting. I say, come home, you can throw the boy down, and we'll order pizza. And then I proceed to fill him in on the last hour with his own wicked wee beastie. Eric skipping council and relieving me is sounding like an excellently sweet deal to me. However he says, "Hmmm, go to a long boring meeting, Or come home and take care of a wicked wee beastie...hmmm." He didn't answer the question, but he didn't have to. That just struck me as hilarious, as the way he said it Neither of these are any kind of fun. He went to the meeting.I need to work on my salesmanship.Today has totally been a day like that, we spent the whole day at home, having OT come out broke up the day a bit, but it was quiet. OK, by quiet I mean we didn't do much, Chris wasn't quiet. Chris was feeling sniffly, eyes are a little red, and in general, he was pretty hornery if he wasn't watching Fraggle Rock. So, we watched like 3 hours of Fraggle Rock. Amy called and bribed me with dinner if I'd come save her sewing machine. I was like sweet deal! I lucked out totally and was able to actually make the sewing machine go, however the children were misbehaving, fiercely, and making my head and stomach hurt. Not conducive to a dinner, even if I didn't have to make it. At first I thought it was just Bryn whose screams were making my ears bleed. Yeah, so I thought. I had peace for about three minutes from when we left to when the pump backpack touched his leg when we turned right. We ran by the library to take books back, and when I tried to be generous and let him play, Chris started in with the ear bleeding cries. There is tons to do at the library, I only won't let him do 2 things: no drinking water from the water fountain (silent aspirator and iffy water, umm no), and no playing on the computer. So, what does he want to do, ummm, those two things. And he melted down. He pulled 1 book off the shelf, ran out of Juniors, and into adult section before I caught him. I asked him if he wanted this book, he told me to put it away. I did, and you never heard such a meltdown. So we're out of there. It's amazing how quickly I can scoot out of the library. He cried all the way home, and a mile and a half is a very long way with those ear splitting screams. Time outs in carseat are only effective if I take away all the fun stuff, but I still have to deal with the howling screams. I like Time Outs at home better where I can throw him in the crib, and leave the room, and not beat him. I felt like Eric, having to choose between passing the time between my screaming child or another, neither was an appetizing choice.

Monday, August 18, 2008

It's been a crazy weekend, and I think Chris and I are swearing to stay in our pajamas all day, and not leave the house. He's made up a new song, "I wannna stay home, no wanna go out." He's actually been singing it daily. Perhaps today is just the day for us to do just that. We had a busy weekend. We started off running and walking against Domestic Violence Saturday morning. Eric ran the 10K in 47 minutes, which is great, I walked (pushed a stroller) 5 K in 58 minutes. That's amazing for Eric, who as of today, has lost a total of 70 pounds in the last year. I'm so proud of him! We're even talking instead of him running Mini-marathons, kicking it up to the full Marathon. Wouldn't that be awesome! OK, Crazy and Awesome. He thought he might be too old, but then the wheels really started turning when I told him that the Women's Olympic Marathon winner was 38 years old, that was really inspirational. But I stray.So we hosted a baby shower party for my sister Saturday afternoon, and her new baby, Annie. There wasn't time early in the summer to do it like I wanted with all Chris's drama, and by the time I was ready, poor Lisa was too pregnant for people; it ended up making sense to have it AFTER she got here. I was dreading it a bit; ok, a lot. It was supposed to be 22 people in my small house, including both my parents who are very divorced, civil, but when they are fake smiling at each other, it makes my skin crawl. However, the party went much better than I anticipated. It wasn't as many folks as expected, which had made me nervous. Everyone was genuinely joyful, googling over the new baby, telling birth stories, and lots of great sharing. I must give my hats off to my Dad who did really well with all the discussion of nursing and boobs, which he usually runs to another room when the subject of uteruses comes up. It really is amazing how much babies can bring out the love, and we dispose of all the baggage when there's a new baby around. And this new baby was Oh so precious, even when she's fussy, she's still adorable. Isn't it funny how easy it is to ignore the screams and still think them amazing and miraculous....especially when they're not yours.

With the walk and the party, yesterday I was so sore and tired, that after simply attending early service at church, I was desperate to come home and take a nap...I held out until 11 in the morning. Eric was sweet and took Chris shopping, so I could have some quiet and I didn't even move off the couch. Phone woke me at 1, and the boys came home shortly thereafter. I stayed up for a few hours, until Chris was deep in his own nap, then I fell back asleep, waking at almost the same time. How nice to have a two nap day. Yesterday evening, we went over to my inlaws (The Fam's) for a cookout to celebrate Eric's Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. They were so cute, we toasted them, saying to the first 60, let there be 60 more. Their eyes got wide, shaking their heads, No no no... Sleeping the day away did make it much easier to stay up late and catch some Olympics last night. How about that 33 year old Gymnast, competing for her son?! I tell you that story brought tears to my eyes. However, now this morning it's almost 10 and I'm ready for another nap. I'm thinking this Preschool thing that Chris will be starting will be just the ticket for me to catch a couple extra ZZzz's.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I can't get enough of watching them, I'm exhausted because I stay up late watching them. When I got to a friend's house, I turn on their TVs because I do NOT have 24 hour Olympic coverage. Right now I miss having tons of cable. Micheal Phelps, beach volleyball, and my favorite...gymnastics. I love watching the Olympics. It's almost like being there, and since I was not blessed with any athletic prowess, I love this opportunity to admire this gift in others. It's so much fun. I don't care if it's Curling in the middle of the night, I love it, and I want more!

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was a chicken sandwich at Wings Etc with the Fam Sunday evening. Though we did eat at the Fair, but I wouldn't exactly call that a restaurant, as the Fair is a stand alone experience. Go.

2. Anyone talking smack about my family is something I intensely dislike. I can talk smack about them, I know them, but no one else can.

3. The full moon is prettiest closest to the horizon. I wish I could take pictures of the moon, I've tried, it doesn't work so good, but I love it when it's big and bright and beautiful.

4. At the corner of nothing and nowhere is one of my favorite local expressions. I know people that live there.

5. Sometimes it's best to shut up and smile. I speak before I think...often. Also, I do not have a poker face, and sometimes that's not a good thing, and I'm getting to an age where it's probably not as cute as it was when I was younger. Sometimes I should just not speak my peace, and sit in silence. I'm just not very good at it.

6. Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium is the best movie I've seen so far this year! I liked Indiana Jones, but I haven't seen anything besides Indiana Jones and kids's movies all summer long. And frankly, some of the kids movies are better.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to making brownies, perhaps a possible dinner with the Fam, and getting the house clean, (no I'm not looking forward to cleaning the house, just the part where I sit back, and enjoy it because it's clean) tomorrow my plans include the walk against Domestic Violence in the morning, and a baby shower for my sister Lisa at my house at 4, and Sunday, I want to take a big fat nap, and not worry about anything!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

With the queasies becoming so prominent, I create for you a list of things I want to eat, have eaten, and that, historically, actually, sit well. Hope I hit 13, though maybe a list of 13 foods that make me ill would be easier, I was afraid it might make me ill to write such a list.

1. Hawaiian Bread-I've nibbled half a loaf, by myself, over 3 days. It's taken serious restraint not to eat the whole thing. Now Chris wants Bread all the time too!2. Ham roll-ups-Corie's family makes these ham and cream cheese roll ups wrapped around a dill pickle and sliced, oh so good, and they sit well too.3. Fresca-it's diet, it's citrusy, when it's cold, it's so refreshing, ahhhh.4. Macaroni and Cheese-not the low carb dieter's friend, but seriously therapeutic5. Ice cream- Eric picked me up a new flavor, Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon buns, not too shabby, but that was nothing compared to the beauty of the double dip of Moose Tracks and Chocolate/Peanut Butter that I got at the State Fair yesterday. The Dairy Bar does it right.6. Milkshakes-Kathleen loved me enough to bring me a Cookies and Cream milkshake from Chick Fil-A, and it was like, the best milkshake EVER. It's good that I'm eating all this "dairy" right.7. Hot Tea with Honey-I whipped up the last of my Decaf Mandarin orchard by Celestial Seasonings, this weekend, and Eric couldn't find it at the store. Bummer. However, he made it up to me by picking me up a huge assortment of decaf teas, 3 boxes of different new things to try. Tea at my house anyone? 8. Cucumbers-It's very strange, last week, raw cucumbers were not working for me. This weekend, I made pickles, and of course, I had to sample a few slices...to make sure they were ok. Monday night, my friend Jen hosted MOPS and made these really scrumptious sandwiches, tiny slices of rye, dill spread and fresh cucumber. I'm so craving them now. Though I'm iffy on whether they sat well or not because I was off and on queasy all evening, but not sure it. Can you crave it and it still make you sick?9. Sandwiches-Eric made me the world's best ham and cheese sandwich for dinner Tuesday night, we'd eaten so much fair food, we didn't need much for supper, now while I was at the fair, if I saw a sandwich, I wanted it. Got a tenderloin, AND a pork chop sandwich. This weekend, we met the fam at Wings Etc. What do I get? Chicken sandwich....a good chicken sandwich!10. Rice-Eric made his yummy stir fry last night for dinner. I wanted rice to go with it, but he didn't get the water ratio right, and I was presented with a narly rice cake for my rice. I was bummed. I want rice.11. Noodles-See above, noodles would also have worked for stir fry. Even those little chinese crunchy noodles would be fabulous. Although, noodles also bring joy with macaroni and cheese see also above. Give me fetuccine alfredo any day. But we don't have any real noodles. I gave them all to the food pantry, and we only have 2 boxes of whole grain lasagna noodles. Doing this whole "whole grains" and low-carb thing is really for the birds. It's not going to work for me for much longer. This baby wants starch! 12. Chocolate-brownies specifically, I want brownies all the time, but when presented with a box of brownie mix, I was like, oh that's too much, I just want a sample. So, I've yet to actually make or eat brownies. I'm making them for Lisa's party this weekend, hopefully that will be my fix.13. Popcorn-Ok, that's just weird, my entire first pregnancy I couldn't even stomach the smell of popcorn, let alone the taste. Last week, in the ever difficult quest to find me something to eat that won't make me gag, Eric suggested popcorn. He was joking, but suddenly, that sounded good to me. I sent him downstairs for some of my light kettle corn, which we'd hidden because it was giving Chris rashes when he'd eat the hard parts, so Chris was on popcorn restriction. Turns out we didn't have any kettle corn. After a grocery trip this weekend, Eric picked me up some without me even asking for it. He's so sweet. Then he made me a bag, it tasted so good, I had to have 2! It's ok, they're only mini-bags. It's like this in an entirely different baby!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Multiple times over the last couple weeks, tragedies have come to our attention where a child was called Home...too early. This past weekend, while Eric was visiting a church, he was asked to attend a funeral for a 6 month old baby that had been born with lots of problems and though the congregation had prayed so very hard, God still called the baby home. He brought this poem home from the bulletin from that service. I just thought it applied.

For All Parents

I'll lend you for a little time, a child of Mine, He saidFor you to love while he lives, and mourn when he is dead.It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three.But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for Me?He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief,You'll have his lovely memories, as solace for your grief.I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return, But there are lessons taught down there, I want this child to learn.I've looked the wide world over, in my search for teachers true, And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.Now will you give him all your love, not think the labor vain, Nor hate Me when I come to call, to take him back again?I fancied I heard them say, "Dear Lord, Thy will be done."For all the joy thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may.And for the happiness we've known, will ever grateful stay.But shall the angels call for him, much sooner than we planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Friday, August 1, 2008

1. If I could travel back in time, I'd go to Listen to hear Jesus preach.

2. Give me a healthy boy or give me a healthy girl. I have no preference. I always thought myself a girly girl, who needed a daughter, but having a son is so great, I wouldn't mind another one of those at all. Note my extreme desire for a simply HEALTHY baby.

3. I am listening to the sounds of servers. Chris stayed overnight at Grandma's and it's amazing how quiet the house is without him around, even when he's still asleep at this hour, I'm still listening to the monitor. So right now the only sound is the sound of the computer. Though I do hear the pitter patter of tiny feet, cat feet, they were too delicate to be the dog, and I think she's still asleep on my bed. 4. Somewhere, someone is thinking about getting an abortion. That hurts my heart. Life is such a precious amazing gift. I'd be like, Give Your Baby To Me!

5. I'll always be a Butler Bulldog. GRRRR!

6. My idea of a good time includes a really good meal, good company, and laughing until I can't breathe.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to spending the day at our MOPS Steering Team (I really am looking forward to it even though it's going to be work) then going to the chiropractor and seeing my sweetboy who is on loan at Grandma's house, tomorrow my plans include Christopher's Last Swim Class for the summer (sniff, sniff) and Sunday, I want to get something crossed off our list! In light of recent developments, we're going to need a bigger house within a year. We've started a list of things to do to sell the house, and it's pretty serious, and I'd like to have something crossed off after the weekend is over. OK, truth be told, I will likely take a nap, and Eric will be doing whatever task crosses an item off the list.