What should I do about my situation?

For about a couple of months I've been having obsessive compulsive suicidal thoughts. I wouldn't classify them as real desires to end my life but a feeling that I have to hang myself with a belt from my family's chin up bar in the hall way. These are specific OCD suicidal thoughts. About a year and a half ago I had these thoughts but never had any particular thought on how to do it, as I'm having now. Right now I've been on 35 mg Prozac. I started on 10 mg in early December and've worked my way up to where I am now. I noticed that as I increased doses these thoughts intensified to where I had to go up in intervals of 5 mg instead of 10, like going from 30 to 35 instead of going to 40. Ever since Prozac increased it at the beginning I've felt that Prozac is causing these thoughts, however my psychiatrist feels that Prozac is not and if I went off Prozac they'd get worse. She wants me to give Prozac the "old college try". My dad removed the chin up bar in the hallway, so I feel some relief. But when that was there and I was home alone it was taunting me mentally. Now I'm afraid a new thought on how to do it might arise. I was on celexa 10 mg before early December for a month but decided to switch to Prozac because I thought I could do better. My psychiatrist is having knee replacement surgery today and will be out for 4 to 6 weeks. My mom feels that I should get a second opinion and go to another psychiatrist in the mean time. I'm also seeing a psychologist and I have social anxiety end generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. I have been down lately and not enthusiastic about life. I've just graduated from high school last year and am about to go to college. I'm a 19 year old male. Besides Prozac I take 1 mg Xanax ER, 2 mg rispersal,and 5 mg saphris daily. Another thing is how will I know if Prozac isn't right for me, it increases my OCD and anxiety before it starts working, but that's normal for antidepressants. At what dosage would it be good to call it quits and go to a different antidepressant or try celexa again on a higher dose?

Responses (2)

I have seen this happen to many people on the generic medications. Has happened on all the different antidepressants and sometimes other medications. If you up the dose and became worse then that's a sign it's the medicine. It's a shame these doctors do not realize this. I had it happen to me. Are you having anxiety also and are you having any stomach issues like diarrhea? Feel free to contact me. Just take my name and add hotmail.com

I cannot give you any advice about your medications.I lived in Germany for most of my life (and under communism for half of that time) and didn't know anyone who was on any kind of happy pills. Since moving to America a few years ago, I only met a few people who are *not* on happy pills. Also, before I moved here, I had no idea what marijuana smells like; now I live in a building where somebody seems utterly incapable of making it through the day without getting high a few times. I'll spare you my theories about why America seems so much more addicted than Germany is.But I know a few years about depression. Those of my friends who'd describe themselves as depressed are lacking major goals in life. They do not make much of an effort to reach out and help others. They are not exposing themselves to experiences that put their own pain into perspective. They'd rather stay at home where they are confronted with only their own ideas, or they surround themselves with people who are exactly like them. They are scared of having a committed, exclusive, intimate relationship with someone else. I can see these factors at work because I used to be like them. So, do get involved with people who are different and challenging and make you a bit uncomfortable sometimes. Having just finished school, you have no idea how much phantastic stuff there is out there in the world. Discover what the purpose of your life is going to be. Contribute to something, anything, and if it turns out that's not the right cause, find a better one. Save a miserable animal from a shelter and give him a nice home and help him become a wonderful friend. Wealth is not how much money you have, wealth is how many lives you can take care of and make happy. Keep a journal to monitor your happiness levels. Write about how you helped others. Find allies -- people who need your help, and who will help you. Find someone to marry -- the human being you want to spend the rest of your life with and have children with. And be aware that not all stress is bad for you. Like all life on earth, you are made to use stress in a meaningful way. Live the life you always wanted. Whatever you dislike about your life right now, change it.