10 Rotten Movies We Love

Sure, you can use Rotten Tomatoes to find the next Oscar contenders or brilliant indie films. Or, the Tomatometer can help you find the movies so horrible they transcend into something great. As you’re watching IFC’s “Too Rotten To Miss” movies every Friday, here are a few more spectacular failures to add to your “must see” list.

1. The Room

It’s hard to believe there was ever a time that Tommy Wiseau’s “so-bad-it’s-good” phenomenon was just a small low-budget film that played at a handful of theaters in 2003. The Room has since taken on a life of its own as a cult classic thanks to laughable acting, highly quoteable dialogue (“You’re tearing me aparrrt!“) and a director/writer/star who has been described as a “21st Century Ed Wood.”

2. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Universal Studios

If you can’t get the Beatles to play themselves, what band would be the next best thing? Why, the Bee Gees of course! This nonsensical disaster has Peter Frampton and the “Stayin’ Alive” group (as the Lonely Hearts Club Band) travel around to find their missing magical instruments. It also features a girl resurrected from the dead, Billy Preston playing a weather vane, and Alice Cooper as a floating head. But all that Beatles music must be great, right? Well, when it’s sung by Halloween star Donald Pleasence, Steve Martin, and a pair of robots, even the Beatles loses it luster. This movie is so crazy, it must be seen. Just have the original album of Sgt. Pepper’s at the ready to get George Burn’s rendition of “Fixing a Hole” out of your head.

3. Manos: The Hands of Fate

Emerson Film Enterprises

It’s not surprising to find this film came from the mind of an El Paso fertilizer salesman on a dare. The confusing tale of mysterious master with a coven of wives was written/directed/produced by Hal Warren. Warren, already familiar with working with poo, bet a screenwriter friend that making a movie was so easy, even he could do it. Luckily, he got a lot of help from his friend Tom Neyman, an artist and community theater actor. Neyman was so helpful, he created all the props and costumes for the film, got his daughter and dog to be in it, and had the perfect mustache to play the villainous lead. Made famous through Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, Manos: Hands of Fate has a cult following that recently funded a Kickstarter campaign to make Manos Returns. So, get your handprint mumus and enslaved wives ready, cause Manos’ hands are not done with fate.

4. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

This sequel to the 1984 holiday horror favorite has earned a cult following thanks to a hilariously bad performance from lead Eric Freeman. The moment when Ricky (Freeman) shoots a neighbor and yells “Garbage Day!” has taken on a new life as a popular Internet meme.

5. Showgirls

MGM

In the last 25 years, nothing has stopped careers in their tracks like Showgirls. Though it’s a film most known for the super high boobs-per-minute ratio, it’s actually very entertaining. Because it’s completely insane. Much of it is too obscene to mention here, but Showgirls at the very least is full of surprises. If nothing else, Google the pool scene to witness the majestic madness that is Elizabeth Berkley as “dancer”/stripper Nomi Malone.

6. The Legend of the Titanic

The Legend of the Titanic is an Italian animated film that tried to ride the coattails of the far more successful Titanic a few years too late. Instead of focusing on class issues at the turn of the century and a love for the ages, Legend tells the story of a bunch of mice and evil sharks, and ends with whales and a weird-looking octopus actually saving every single person on the sinking ship. If that’s not enough to pique your interest, please watch the clip above for one of the most abrupt and bizarre musical numbers of all time.

7. Rockula

The Cannon Group, Inc.

There have been a lot of vampire movies, but have there been any films about vampires that can ROCK? Sadly, yes. Rockula is a “comedy” about a vampire cursed to watch his love be killed over and over, but also he becomes a rock star. It has rare film roles for Toni Basil of “Mickey” fame and Thomas “She Blinded Me With Science” Dolby. Since it was made in 1990, it also features a horrible rap song. So, if you’re sad that True Blood and Twilight are over, you can settle for a rockin’, rappin’ Drac to haunt your dreams.

8. Troll 2

With a whopping 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Troll 2 has earned a cult following amongst bad movie aficionados thanks to its cheap special effects, amateurish acting, and bizarre lack of trolls. Ostensibly a sequel to the 1986 horror film Troll, Troll 2 inspired the documentary Best Worst Movie, which details the many production problems that can occur when you have an American cast and an Italian crew who doesn’t speak English.

9. Can’t Stop the Music

ITC Entertainment

Another hit band of the ’70s makes the list with Can’t Stop the Music, the Village People’s one and only film. Starring Caitlyn Jenner back when she was known as Bruce Jenner and Steve Guttenberg, this movie features a lot of cut-off shorts and not a lot of plot. There’s a song that tells you how to make a milkshake and why milkshakes are great. This movie is so odd, you can’t look away and you’ll have a newfound appreciation for the Village People. Well, maybe not appreciation, but you’ll be able to name their repertoire outside of “YMCA.”

10. The Apple

The Apple is the movie that makes Xanadu look like Singin’ in the Rain. Made by the notoriously awful Cannon Films, this 1980 sci-fi musical brings us to the terrifying future of 1994. An evil music corporation runs the world and our heroes are lured into their scheme. The songs are perfectly bad/good with a Deus Ex Machina ending that literally falls out of the sky. If you love rotten movies, this is one of the all time greats. So, go ahead and take a bite of The Apple…if you dare!

Catch “too rotten to miss” movies every Friday on IFC!

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The Best Of The Last

The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.