Look, not every NFL week can be a winner. Luckily most of us were still comatose from a 20,000 calorie weekend, so we didn’t notice that the week 12 slate was full of dud matchups between mediocre squadrons. Still football is football and a full slate of games will produce moments.

The mediocrity started on the grand day itself, as America continued to punish themselves and Detroit’s fine citizens by putting the Lions on national TV. Plus as an added bonus this year we got the Raiders. In fact the most exciting thing to happen in the three Turkey day games was Josh McDaniels inspiring profanity, captured for millions of fans as Roger Goodell spilled his pumpkin pie. Who doesn’t love a little awkward announcing?

The Eagles and Falcons spared themselves similar profanities by barely keeping their playoff hopes alive. Against JV squads Washington and Tampa respectively, the favored fowl franchises foully fucked with their fandom before finally pulling out fourth quarter wins. Roddy White was the hero for ATL pulling down the game winning TD pass from backup QB Chris Redman with less than 30 seconds left.

The Colts smacked down the latest challenger to their historical run towards an undefeated season. The Texans jumped all over the Colts mediocre D in the first half to take a 20-7 lead, but some second half heroics from Peyton and a total collapse by Matt Schaub swung the game in the Colts favor. With only five regular season games left, the Colts are pretty much a lock for 19-0. There’s barely any reason to play the games.

Other News and Notes

— Buffalo sabotaged Miami’s playoff hopes with a 4th quarter rampage, sparked by some terrible QBing from Chad Henne another big play by T.O. I hate the guy, but I gotta give him credit for hanging in there this year—after Buffalo’s rough start I thought he’d take the Iverson route.

— A weak start to the season caused San Diego to slip under the radar, but few teams are playing better right now. Add in their recent success against Indy and the Chargers look like the best sleeper pick in the AFC to make it to the Miami in February.

— Larry Johnson proved once again that winning cures all ils, while rushing for 107 yards against the abysmal Cleveland Browns. It couldn’t come at a better time with Cedric Benson sitting out his second straight game. While it wasn’t pretty, The Bengals prevailed 16-7 and swept the AFC North.

— Vince Young broke Matt Leinart’s heart again with a 99 yard drive in the closing seconds to lead the Titans over Arizona. Tennessee is now the first team to win five straight after losing six straight to open the season. Believe Gotty™, Believe!

— Speaking of the Titans, you don’t hear his name mentioned in the Farve-Manning-Brady hoopla, but Chris Johnson is having a season to equal Barry Sanders’ finest. 2000 yards and nearly 6.5 a carry? That’s a bad man.

— Finally let’s be honest, the NFL week is incomplete since the game of the week, if not that year hasn’t happened yet. Brees and Brady in the Dirty Dome. Gonna be a good one. I’m prognosticating a 31-27 Pats win. This time, we make the 4th and 2.