Generally I like this. I have a few questions: What type of creature is the master? The girl seems to be a vampire but I can not quite figure what the master is supposed to be entirely. My other burning question is the term "muggle" an open source word for fiction writers or is it exclusive to "Harry Potter"?

Those were the two things that seemed to distract me most from a well written piece.

Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. – Neil Gaiman

I'm sure the word muggle will bring Harry Potter to mind for many readers, but it looks like it has also become a generic term:

From Wikipedia:

The word muggle, or muggles is now used in various contexts in which its meaning is similar to the sense in which it appears in the Harry Potter book series. Generally speaking, it is used by members of a group to describe those outside the group, comparable to civilian as used by military personnel. Whereas, in the books, muggle is consistently capitalised, in other uses it is often all lower case.According to the BBC quiz show QI, in the episode Hocus Pocus, muggle was a 1930s jazz slang word for someone that uses cannabis.Muggle was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2003, where it is said to refer to a person who is lacking a skill.Muggle is used in informal English by members of small, specialised groups, usually those that consider their activities to either be analogous to or directly involve magic (such as within hacker culture; and pagans, Neopagans and Wiccans) to refer to those outside the group.Muggle (or geomuggle) is used by geocachers to refer to those not involved in or aware of the sport of geocaching. A cache that has been tampered with by non-participants is said to be plundered or muggled.

Thanks John. That question was asked in ernest. I was unsure if it had worked its way into common jargon and was free to use.

Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. – Neil Gaiman