Letting Go and Getting Up Again

Letting Go and Getting Up Again: Coming out of the dark

A Mug of Self Love

The More we let go of what is hurting us, the FASTER and the MORE POWERFULLY we can embrace the depths of who we truly are. Letting go and getting up again is about getting up again and again…even when it seems impossible.

I’ve spent a lifetime going back and forth from self-love to self-hatred. It’s time to be the courageous and powerful warrior. It’s time to let the rest of the crap go. Uncluttering my surroundings isn’t enough. It is time to detox my brain chatter and end the ceaseless self-blame for things gone wrong that were out of my control. It is time to manifest. It is time to stop the ceaseless emotional murder of my dreams and ambitions while I berate myself. Had I not done what I did, I would hate myself for being anything other than who I am. I am a warrior goddess of love and light. I teach others – I mentor them to be who they are.

I spent 2 years learning to be a health coach – to teach others what I’ve spent 43 years mastering as a healthy life advocate. What I really am is a teacher and mentor.

Health is all about being true to oneself. True Health doesn’t mean eating kale instead of potatoes and then trash talking your self – true health means living wisely, honoring the body temple, and sensing what is really needed. It’s about listening to the hearts call, and powerfully answering.

It is time to stop the self-assassination. If others don’t get it – if others don’t come along, that is their choice. I no longer feel a need to carry their burden. Mine is big enough.

I used to read all the self-help stuff on the shelves: Books on self-esteem, books on breaking free, building better habits, being a better person, learning to live or to love, learning to change myself. The one thing that wasn’t taught was so simple it can be taught in ONE SENTENCE:

I AM OK JUST AS I AM. Say it with me: I AM OK JUST AS I AM.

Inherently, we come to a place where we finally realize we are not broken and those who are working so hard to fix us are simply trying to force us to b more like them so they will feel better. It has NOTHING to do with us. That awareness is where we begin.

Learning to love you is the key to living fully. Learning to let go of baggage from other people is the stepping-stone to fully accepting you.

We can tell ourselves we are ok repeatedly. In practice, it takes a lot of work to overcome the damage of oppression, emotional abuse, and other mental things that keep one stuck in the rut of despair. I was prone to desecrating that which I am because I did not meet the approval or receive the acknowledgment that would have made me feel whole. I disappeared in the misogyny of lies about who I was supposed to be – thus never fully embracing who I am.

At nearly 60 years old, I hate admitting it. It feels like defeat on bad days. A lot of the negatives still run rampant in my brain. When overwhelmed with the stress of starting over, overblown by the demands of caring for a disabled husband, and stunned stupid with too many huge decisions looming bigger than life itself (yes it is that bad), the self-desecration builds up until it explodes.

Some days, I can easily remember the value and worth of me as a contributing factor. Other days, it is a fight to want to live – to want to get up again after being kicked down. Some will say: “Well, don’t let yourself get kicked down”

The truth is life sometimes happens before you realize you got sucker punched.

It’s how you pull yourself back up that matters. We are all human. No one is immune to loss. No one is more deserving or less deserving. But as humans, we have an innate ability to survive.

The first thing we have to do is remember who we are. That takes some work, but by doing – not by analyzing – we will get there faster.

On a daily basis we must focus. We must practice. The way to do it is to use some healthy life guides.

In my earlier article, I wrote about the establishment of daily routines.Today, I write about life guides to honor your overall mindset switch. It is a switch. You need to switch the negative off and the positive on – and lock it in.

A critical piece of your life puzzle is who and how you let people into your heart space. The solution lies in your boundaries. Let in those who love you and treat you with respect and kindness. Remove those who do not.

Listen to your heart calling you

Don’t compare yourself to others, but learn from them.
Your worth is measured by what you are, not what you have. Build and rebuild
Believe & trust in what is not visible or touchable.
Use your voice no matter how much it cracks or shakes.
Speak your Truth with kindness
Strive for self-awareness and self-improvement. Leave other people to do their own work.

Love – practice everyday.
Life is a choice. Choose Life over Death. Choose Joy over Pain.
The more you try to control anything outside of yourself, the more you suffer.

Every action has a consequenceEvery thought has a response

When you need to kick start the up mode – when you are fighting to get up from down, sometimes you fail to see what you need.

This list comes from my experience. I’ve too often been told to just do something that will get me outside of myself. While that is alone a possibility, there is more to it. Too often, we got lost trying to fit into someone else’s box – and we lost ourselves. Sometimes, it gets so bad you feel like you got run over by a truck – and just as you started to climb up, the truck backed over you. Again and again and again…. Soon, you feared getting up again.

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The truth of the matter: Sometimes you need a doctor or a prescription. Don’t avoid that. But often times, your doctor won’t prescribe a pill because they don’t identify your difficulty as anything more than overwhelm. When that happens, you have to fight hard to find solutions to restore happiness – one step at a time.
*********************Nancy Lamb is an Integrative Health Coach and since 2013 has specialized in wellness for caregivers. With corporations coming to grips with a growing need for caregiver support, Nancy works with groups to help solve the growing problem older workers are facing.