The Walrus Says

Were your descendants part of the original settlers here on Jamestown 350 years ago?

Then, we want to hear from you. Tell us your name and your ancestor' s name and anything else we might find of interest concerning that person.

Send the information to the email address or call the telephone numbers listed at the end of the column.

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Blending the stories of several familiar fairy tales with an original story - all looking for "happily ever after" endings - is the theme of the beautiful, thoughtful and amusing Steven Sondheim musical "Into the Woods," the next production of the Jamestown Community Theatre to be staged in November.

Producer Joan McCauley poses the question, "But what happens after "happily ever after?" "There are consequences! For example, what does Jack, of "Jack and the Beanstalk" fame, do with a dead giant in the backyard?"

Joan said that the selection committee, led by Artistic Director Mary Wright, wanted to stage a "big play," one that could accommodate everyone who wants to participate in the ensemble cast.

Julie Andrews will direct "Into the Woods," and she urges Jamestown residents, ages 8 to 98, who have ever wanted to try their hand at theater, to audition - for a lead, a supporting part, or a chorus spot.

Auditions are scheduled for Sept. 5 and those auditioning for a lead part need to prepare 32 bars of a song from a Broadway musical. All others will sing America the Beautiful in small groups.

Rehearsals will be held late Sunday afternoons and Monday and Wednesday nights beginning Sept. 9. Stay tuned!

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We had a great response to our query concerning Red Skelton's seagull. Actually, there were two seagulls and the first person in by phone with the correct answers was council President David Long who informed us of the two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff. His call was immediately followed by Walter Paolozzi of Warwick, the island's Verizon man, who also phoned in the correct answers.

Marlene Murphy shouted the names across the counter at BankNewport and Charlie and Joan Shaffer called in. Gertrude and Heathcliff e-mails arrived from Carol Fuquea of Coventry; Helen A. Richardson; Betty Kinder came in with only Heathcliff, but noted, "This made me think of my deceased mother - she could have answered easily. I can still remember her laughing at that skit;" Debbie Richards, who remembered watching it with her father many years ago; Bob Fuquea; Cindy Waterman and Gaylin Cordes remembered only Heathcliff, but as Cindy wrote, "it was a long, long time ago! And this from Christine Weglowski Forster of Middletown, who wrote, "Red Skelton's seagulls were Gertrude and Heathcliff. As a child, I loved it when he fluffed up his (thinning) hair, put his hands under his arms and did the seagull bits. Always funny and cute."

Thanks to all. He was a wonderfully, funny man.

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Due to an editing error Carolyn Jaques' name was misspelled in last week's column.

Sorry, Carolyn.

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Kudos to the new officers of JEMS (Jamestown Emergency Medical Services) who were elected at its annual meeting July 24.

The membership voted to purchase an air filtration system for the ambulance bay, and to upgrade the landscaping around the building to improve visibility and safety. Money for both projects will come from donated funds.

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On the subject of JEMS, Judy Bell reports that former member Alex DeMolles is now a new officer with the Coventry Police Department and graduated valedictorian from the police academy.

Great job, Alex!

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Dr. Joshua Hatch of the Jamestown Animal Clinic suggests checking out all options when deciding on a new pet. "Besides our cats and dogs, there are quite a few other pets out there that can be just as much a part of the family as Fluffy. Rabbits are excellent pets for those with limited space and they also don't make much noise! They can be easily house trained and have a lot of character. With rabbits please make sure that their food and housing are appropriate to avoid illness and check out excellent websites like www.rabbit. org for more information. Ferrets are another small pet with great personality that can be excellent pets for some people. They are very mischievous and do better with other ferrets around. In Rhode Island ferret ownership requires a permit through the Department of Environmental Management (www.dem.ri.gov) so be aware of that if you intend to purchase or adopt ferrets. Do your homework before bringing home any new pet, but realize there are a lot of options that can be just as rewarding!"

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Anne Lane reports that Madeline, 8, and James, 6, Doherty and their dad, Ed, have been on the island for the past two weeks. For those who may want to keep in touch, their new address is 100 Riverview Drive, Etters, Penn, 17319.

Mom Mel Doherty has been activated to Kuwait and her e-mail is lambchop-nh3@yahoo.com or regular mail to CDR M. Doherty, MNC-I, IAG, APO AE 09330.

You're doing a great job commander.

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Greg Cooney returns to the Jamestown Philomenian Library tonight at 7 p.m. with songs and stories and that get the audience up and involved with performance.

Children age 4 and over are invited to bring their families and explore how music is made and enjoy 45-minutes of songs. Registration is not required, just come on down.

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Rose Fraley called in with the answer to last week's poser. It's the lyrics from "Blues in the Night," and according to Bob Kinder in his e-mail it was a "great WWII song."

Barbara-Ann Mac Intosh calls it "an oldie but goodie" and provides the rest of the lyrics:

But when the talkin's done, a woman's a two face a worrisome thing who'll leave you to sing The Blues in the Night, etc.

There's a lot of great music out there.

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Jim Pemantell asks, "Ever try and get a street light fixed? The one at Narragansett and Marine has been out for some time. I called this morning and the lady said it would take 10 days. Must be sending someone over from Europe."

Either that or they have to round up enough guys to turn the ladder.

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Businesses and residences with flags hanging in front of their buildings had better check their annoyance factor or be the subject of a public letter from the chair- person of CPPOPWFALHFOB. The head of the Committee to Protect Places Ordinary People Walk From Annoying Low-Hanging Flags and Other Banneraria has sent a letter to Lila Delman Real Estate to the effect that: "As you have noticed, your company flag is missing from outside your office. I see that you have replaced it with a generic "Open" flag, and that's too bad, because the official blue and white flag, with the embroidered image of the Narragansett Towers, is a handsome thing, indeed.

"Where is your flag? In a secure, undisclosed location. It is being treated humanely.

"Why is your flag missing? Because it was offensive - not in a politically correct sense, but in a football kind of way. Like the way a 280-pound pulling guard laying a body block on a 170-pound cornerback is offensive.

"It happened like this: On a quiet weeknight recently, I was strolling up the sidewalk back to my car, following a tasty snack at the Trattoria. The sidewalk was mostly deserted and pretty dark, so I had my eyes trained on the concrete, watching my step, when suddenly - Whack! - I was assaulted by something. It struck me first in the face and then attempted to wrap itself around my neck like a hungry python.

"Being a person with catlike reflexes and nerves like cool computer chips, even in the hottest of circumstances, I recovered in a flash and sprang into a tai-bo fighting posture, prepared to defend my way of life and burn some calories at the same time - when I discovered that my assailant was none other than your darn flag.

"I deduced the problem immediately: the flag poles's mounting bracket on your building was set so low that the large flag hung well out into the path of pedestrians like me, only a few feet off the sidewalk.

"This could not stand. The sidewalk is for people, not flags. So, I phoned our 24-hour ERU (Emergency Response Unit), and it dispatched a commando team to the site to capture the flag before it could do any more harm.

"Now, I'm sure that by day you folks at Lila Delman are nice, hard-working people. And if I were a local millionaire, I'd be happy to have you help me find just the right cozy, 10-bed, 20-bath McMansion on the island. But as flag wavers you are in violation of basic pedestrian rights.

"As I said, your flag is secure and is not being mistreated, and you can have it back - on one condition: move the flagpole bracket high enough on the wall that the flag will not interfere with the passage of innocent pedestrians along the sidewalk.

"Our undercover inspectors will be checking your building periodically, and, as soon as they report that you have complied with our conditions, your flag will be returned."

Signed Bett C. Ross, chairperson CPPOPWFALHFOB.

Meanwhile, opposition and disgust at the actions described in the above letter has been voiced by Strait Walker, chairman of the newly formed JAAFACABAT (Jamestowners Against Attacking Flags After Consuming Adult Beverages At Trattoria).

*** Be true!

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Call in your stuff for this column to 423-0383 or 829-2760. You can e-mail us at jtnwalrus@ hotmail .com, or drop your items off at the Jamestown Press office.