:::== The scene opens with a shot of Frankie “The Face” Emerson and Brandon Harris standing side by side, both wearing yellow duck floaties and scuba suits while a massive Great White Shark swims in a large pool behind the men. How’s that for an opening scene, ay? Frankie Emerson has a stupid smirk on his face as he looks into the pool as the sea beast lurks, Brandon Harris looking as though he just made a pool in his pants. :::==

Brandon Harris: I’ve met you at a club for interviews, at a McDonalds, in the ring, at a Christmas pageant… yet I never questioned it more than I do right now. What, in the hell, are we doing here in front of a shark tank!?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Practicing my friend! You see I’ve done my research, and it has been brought to my attention that I am in great danger stepping into the next PWP show. Deonte Bryant excepted my challenge and whilst in the begging I was confident, you know ‘cuz I’m the greatest professional wrestler in the history of the world, but then I figured out a very; very critical element. Deonte Bryant was trained by the one, the only, wrestling water monster James The Shark. While I’m an incredible athlete and in the best shape of my entire life Brando, not even I can compete with a man of such aquatic terror-training. Which is why we are here. I pulled a few strings and I’ve found the oldest living Great White Shark in captivity, and I’ve been informed by the man who let us in that this shark… knows karate. He informed me that a little known fact is that sharks are actually master karate and jujitsu masters, hence why Mr. Bryant is a mainly striking foe after being under the tutelage of James The Shark. So I Brandon… I’m going to get into this watery dojo and I’m going to learn the way of the shark so that I too will come into battle with the knowledge that Deonte holds! Give me a moment alone to stretch and mentally prepare Brando. Away with you!

:::== Brandon stares at Frankie for the longest time as Frankie drops Indian-style on the ground, humming to himself like a moron meditating. Brandon walks over to the door where the man who let them in sits reading a Cosmo magazine. :::==

Brandon Harris: Why’d you tell him all that garbage about sharks?

Man(looking up from his paper shrugging): I don’t know he called and said he’d give us 500 bucks if we “revealed the secretes of kung fu sharks” to him. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but if he’s got 500 bucks then I’ve got a kung fu shark.

:::== Brandon sighs and walks over to the side of the pool, looking down at the beast that swims below, Brandon shaking his head. Finally Frankie leaps up, flailing his arms around. :::==

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Just show up! Deonte thinks he’s a big deal with his ESPN? Wait til he sees who I got interviewing ME! It’s going to revolutionize PWP and put it on a new leve! Mwahahaha! Now be gone! Me and my teacher have much more learning.

:::== Frankie jumps into the pool, and Brandon walks to the door. :::==

:::== The scene opens with a shot of a Taxi pulling up to a hotel, and parking along side the door. Brandon Harris opens the door and steps out, passing the driver some money. He looks up and sighs, entering the building and approaching the front desk. Behind the desk sits a very attractive secretary. :::==

Brandon Harris: Yeah I’m looking for room 435, an associate of mine should already be here.

Secretary: The scuzzy guy in a teal suit that asked me if I knew what his shirt was made of?

Brandon Harris: … yup.

Secretary: Yeah he’s up there. Take the elevator and go to floor 5. And tell him that despite what he may think, women don’t like when you refer to it as “The Bone Zone”.

Brandon Harris: Will do…

:::== Brandon heads up to the elevator, going to the fifth floor as directed. He approaches the door and knocks, waiting for a few moments before we finally hear Frankie answer “come in”. Brandon enters cautiously to see Frankie standing in a bright teal suit with his “Warning: Choking Hazard” shirt placed stupidly underneath the suit jacket. Frankie is combing his hair back, trying to look as slick as possible. :::==

Brandon Harris: Man this interview must be a big deal huh? I’m lucky if you have pants for our interviews let alone get dressed up.

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Awe yeah this is the big time son! But don’t you worry, no matter how much more important this interview is than the ones I do with you, I’ll never replace you Brando!

Brandon Harris: Oh… thank God. I was so worried that I wouldn’t have to jump through hoops and walk through hell just to do my job. Thank you for assuring me that for the rest of my career I’ll be thrusted into this destitute Apocalypse that is my life.

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: You’re welcome. Now, are you ready? You’re going to be my caddy to make sure I don’t make a fool out of myself, ok?

Brandon Harris: You just spent two hours swimming with a shark, I don’t think you can make a fool out of yourself anymore. Speaking of which, how’d that go?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: It went swimmingly!(lulz you’re welcome guys!) But it was weird, the guy tried to throw dead fish around me while I was training so I left early.

Brandon Harris: Huh… that is strange… soooooooo anyway that interview?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Yep lets go!

:::== Brandon takes his keys and gets close to the door before he turns to see Frankie sit down on the bed and open up his laptop. :::==

Brandon Harris: What are you doing?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Loggin in for the interview! The guy is real busy so we’re doing it through Skype! It’s what all the guys are doing these days.

Brandon Harris: That’s kinda weird, I thought this was a big time place?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Oh it is trust me! Come on check it out.

:::== Brandon apprehensively sits down next to Frankie as he pulls up Skype. Sure enough, a Skype call comes in. :::==

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Hey Norbert? I’m ready when you are!

Tom: Alright, I’ll set up my webcam and we’ll start the interview live in 1 minute!

Brandon Harris(whispering): He sounds kinda whinny, I’m surprised such a big establishment couldn’t get a more soothing voice.

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: HUSH! You’re no Tom Jones either when it comes to angelic voices.

:::== Suddenly “Welcome to the jungle” plays over a splash screen that looks like it’s written in MS Paint that reads “The Super Cool Fires Edge Burning Cross Top Rope Superstar Spotlight of Epicness #Pwnsauce Wrestling Podcast! Hosted by – The Godfather of Wrestling.” Suddenly the screen changes to a shot of a very overweight man, looking like he’s probably 17 with mass acne and a greasy ponytail. He sits in a dimly lit room in front of a couple wrestling posters with a ‘Punisher’ skull t-shirt. :::==

Voice: Welcome to “The Super Cool Fires Edge Burning Cross Top Rope Superstar Spotlight of Epicness #Pwnsauce Wrestling Podcast!” hosted by myself, the Godfather of Wrestling. You can call me The Godfather for short though. Last week we had our largest audience to date, over 120 people tuned in live to hear me interview wrestling’s only lobster fisherman “Trapman” Terry Lobstar and I want to say we’ve BLOWN THAT AWAY with 141 people in our stream right now!

:::== Frankie smiles and nods as Brandon looks on in horror. :::==

Godfather: Now I know we were supposed to have “The Punisher” Kyle Killsmasher on tonight, but he got called in to a very important meeting at work. Apparently they’re adding a Little Ceasers into his K-Mart and he could be looking at a shift leader position! Congrats to you Kyle. But we hear at The SCFEBCTRSSEPW Podcast never disappoint. So I, The Godfather, have called in a few favors and I’ve gotten the one, the only, Frankie “The Face” Emerson! I’m patching your feed in now Mr. Emerson.

:::== Frankie smiles and waves, blowing kisses at the camera. :::==

Godfather: Thanks for joining us on such short notice Frankie.

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Well of course. When you told me about all the fans that wanted to see their hero on your show, I couldn’t say no. Especially considering how epic this PWP 8 show is going to be, there was nothing else I could do BUT spread the word.

Godfather: Well just a fair warning, we’re going to be asking you a lot of tough questions, probably a lot more pressing matters than you’re used to.

Godfather: Alright QUESTION ONE… on the last PWP show you defeated your long time rival Alexis. Do you feel some what, uh… what’s the word… do you feel… you know

Brandon Harris(mumbling): Vindicated…

Godfather: Do you feel better now knowing that you’ve won a match against her?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: As a matter of fact, I don’t. It’d have been different Mr. Godfather if I didn’t know before going into the match that I was going to indeed defeat that Kimber James lookalike. Alexis may have had a ‘win’ over me in the past, but we all know that was just because she had blinded me!

Godfather: You know I’ve been watching wrestling since 2011, so I’m pretty much an authority on it now and I can say that was the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen! I’m glad to see you had a full recovery.

Godfather: Well my next question is of course about PWP 8. You’re facing Deonte Bryant who is a pretty big badass. If I’m an authority on anything else other than wrestling, its being badass. *snort* How do you feel about facing him?

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Well ya know—

:::== Suddenly from behind ‘The Godfather’ the door opens and we see an older women walk in. Godfather quickly covers the camera with his hand. :::==

Godfather(faintly but definatly hearable): Ma what do you want? I’m doing my show! No I don’t care! God get out of my room! … Yeah… yeah I’ll have 4 hot dogs and some French fries. No that’s enough I’m trying to lose weight. Yeah… yeah of course I want you to make brownies too. Thanks ma. Ahem…

:::== He removes his hand and tries to look cool. :::==

Godfather: Sorry Frankie, that was uh… my super hot girlfriend. You probably couldn’t have seen her because sometimes my camera screws up and distorts the picture. But she just wanted to remind me about our date tonight so I’m going to have to cut our interview short. We’re going out for… uh… lobster than going to visit a certain zoneeee if ya know what I mean.

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: I got you, playa! Pimp on!

Godfather: I’ll give the floor to you, go ahead and speak directly to Deonte because clearly he’ll see this video.

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: Ahem… ok Deonte I’m going to put this blunt. I don’t know much about you, and I don’t care to get to know you more. All I know is you were trained by the legendary James The Shark, you have a stupid hat, and you have the NERVE to challenge me!? Wait hold on— I got a call.

:::== Frankie lifts up his phone, pretending to talk to someone. :::==

Frankie “The Face” Emerson: You see you can talk all you want Mr. Bryant. You can swear at me, you can slander me, you ca do whatever you want. But the fact is at the end of the day I’m not going to beat you for me. I’m not going to beat you for PWP. I’m not going to beat you for JUST the fans that are going to come to that arena. I’m going to beat you for America. I’m going to beat you for the troops that are over seas in Vietnam right now fighting to keep us safe! Fighting to try and reverse the effects we suffered five years ago during the Pearl Harbor shootings. I’m doing it for our fallen presidents like George Washington, George Bush, Stonewall Jackson all of them! I’m going to defeat you… because that’s what’s good for America. WE THE PEOPLE… OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA… IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION… ARE GOING TO WHOOP. YOUR. ASSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

:::== Frankie seethes as if he just delivered an impassioned speech to send troops into war, and Godfather claps his approval. Brandon Harris is, for the first time, literally speechless at what he just heard. The rest of this scene is unimportant, you’ve all witnessed all you need to. PS: Brandon Harris may have literally been killed by the stupidity radiating out of Frankie. :::==