Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Why Do Women Trust These Guys?

Photo by: stockimages

The
man has four children by a woman he never married, and
he lived with her about thirty years. At some time, he decided to begin seeing another
woman. He’s an elected president, and his “official partner” becomes the First
Lady. She has a publicly funded staff and office. Then, it’s found out—by press
snooping—that the president has been carrying on behind the First Lady’s back
with an actress. Just revealed: the First Lady is no longer the First Lady, and
she’s conveniently away on a foreign trip. It’s all over the news, blow by
blow, episode after episode.

What’s
wrong with this picture?

Well, there are a lot of things wrong.

Even if it were okay to merely live with
someone outside marriage (It’s not. 1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:3), he’s
cheated on woman after woman. Of course, the women had no legal claim to him in
the first place, since he never committed to marriage.

I am certainly not close to this case,
and I assure you, I have no desire to know the particulars. But, I’m amazed at
how many women are willing to simply share a life with a man who won’t commit
to marriage. What security does a woman have with a man like that? None.

Really, if he’s already committing
fornication, what keeps him from feeling completely free to cheat? What
security do the children have when Dad didn’t care enough for Mom to actually
commit to her on paper? What kind of message about manhood, responsibility, and
marriage is he giving them?

In this instance, the president of
France has a record of baggage. His women (for lack of a better term) have all
been educated, beautiful, and elegant.

What
were they thinking?

The first thirty-year relationship was
considered a “domestic partnership.” Why didn’t he make it a “married partnership?”

When their “partnership” ended, he was
already interested in the next one, who moved in with him and divorced her
husband.

That very romantic stage must have
lasted very little, since it’s thought that his scooter escapades have been
going on for two years. (He’s only been in office since 2012. Figure it.)

My
purpose isn’t to slam the president of France. His
sins are his personal decisions, and now that they are public, he can only
blame himself. I truly hope that he will confess his sins to the Lord, get
right with those he has hurt, and turn his life around.

The
purpose of this post is to warn.

When
you like a man, check his character before
you get your heart involved.

Here
are some things you can look for:

Is he pure?

Has he had past relationships, and have
they been pure?

Has he been married?

Does he have children?

I
am writing for Christian women mostly, so this will be important to you:

Is he a professing Christian—with some
“fruit” to back it up? (Matthew 7:17; Galatians 5:22-23)

What are his moral convictions? Talk to
his pastor and see what kind of a reputation he has. Unless the church is very
large, his pastor will know.

Does he attend church regularly? (Did he attend faithfully before you met him?)

Is he involved in his church?

Watch
the guy. Does he:

Flirt with other women?

Limit your contact with others?

Watch sensual movies or look at porn?

See
what spends his money on. Wherever he spends the
most money (besides housing and food) is where his heart is. (Matthew 6:21)

Is he generous—with the Lord’s work and
others?

Does he spend his money mostly on things
for himself—car, clothes, gadgets, computers, gaming, etc.?

Is he careful with his money?

Check
out his reputation.

Ask some women where he works, “What do you think of (name)?”

Ask his pastor. (Yes, I already said
that, but you’d be surprised how much heartache can be prevented when women
take this simple step. Please do it!)

Find out who his friends are, and see
what they are like. (Proverbs 13:20)

Watch his behavior with his mother, sisters,
and other relatives. This is a window into how he treats women.

The
Bible has some guidelines for dating. Basically, a Christian
woman should only date/marry a man who:

Has her respect already. A wife is commanded to respect her husband and to submit
(yield) to him. A woman who marries a man she doesn’t/can’t respect has already
lost something that God commands her to do. (1 Corinthians 7:34; Ephesians
5:22-24, 33; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1-6)

Be
wary of—I mean, run from—the guy who
talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk. Some guys
are as smooth as silk and very tricky. And, one of them just might like you.

So, find out about his “baggage” and
check him out with his pastor and friends. Save yourself from unknown surprises
and future grief.

Hey Lou Ann. Is it ok if I print your very practical list and share with a spanish friend? Don't want to do it without your permission, but I like the outline you have and it might just be what God will use to open eyes. Thanks, Joy

Hi and welcome to In the Way! I explore many subjects, striving always to present them from a biblical viewpoint. Feel free to browse the tabs at the top for general categories. If you don't see what you're looking for, use the search button below. I'm a pastor's wife, mother of two, grandma, teacher, author, and blogger. I live in a quaint little village in the beautiful Basque region of northern Spain.

I Belong To

Please Link Back

About Me

Lou Ann is a young-thinking grandma with an infectious laugh. She rejoices in nature and other beautiful things--including people! She's an avid writer and practices several other artistic expressions, like singing when no one's listening, calligraphy, photography, and even "serious art." Lou Ann loves her Lord Jesus Christ, family, and her church.