In a fairy tale, life is effortless, the love is flowing, we understand and support each other, the children are well behaved, we all look like models, the dream house and car are there, and we are happy and healthy ever after.

Then... we get hit with reality — the dirty socks and the farting in bed.

The secret to a long lasting relationship is having realistic expectations regarding your partner and what you bring to the table. Life, in general, is filled with challenges and conflict, and it seems even more in relationships.

The closer a person is to us, the more we assume we can dump everything that goes wrong in life on them. There are expectations for them to clean up the mess.

Talking about the hopes and dreams you have around money and sex is vital, even if it makes you feel vulnerable. This will take out the guessing and secrets, of what can later become a festering wound.

3. Build on trust and don't do anything you don't want to be done to you.

Nobody can fight inner battles for somebody else, you have to face your own. Don't expect your partner to do it for you. If you have the courage to face your own trouble, it becomes easier to deal with the relationship challenges.

There are no guarantees in relationships, we need to work on them every day. When we keep the above secrets in mind we have a real shot at making it last. How willing are you to work on your relationship?