Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Chapter 5 = Done

I'm waiting to find out if I suck or not. I've have two friends helping with feedback. In the mean time I'm sucking it up and putting myself out there. Big, deep breath ... here you go.

Excerpt from Chapter 1 - (FIRST DRAFT FIRST DRAFT FIRST DRAFT)

Olivia sat in Mr. Macaroy’s so called history class, doodling in the corner of her Christopher Columbus hand out. The classroom was in decay. Paint chipped from the walls, tiles were missing from the floor. Mr. Macaroy propped his feet up on the desk and tossed a tennis ball in the air. He was a thirty something slacker.

"So yeah ...” he read from a piece of paper. “What year did that Columbus guy get over to America?”

Not a single hand went up. The kids shuffled in their seats and avoided any eye contact. They looked around searching for an answer. Olivia rolled her eyes. “C’mon people,” she mumbled.

Hilary, a girl in pigtails and a Geology Rocks T-Shirt, slowly inched her hand into the air. Mr. Macaroy’s feet dropped and he searched the papers on his desk, “Yes, um …. Valerie.”

“Hilary,” she responded.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatcha got?”

Hilary scrunched up her face, “1492?”

Mr. Macaroy thumbed through his papers checking the answer sheet, “Let’s see …” He tapped the answer with his finger.

“Catch the winner’s ball.” He chucked the tennis ball through the air, hitting Hilary in the face.

“Ow!” She grabbed her nose.

The whole class winced. Ouch.

Hilary touched her face, “I think I’m bleeding.”

Mr. Macaroy grabbed a hall pass and waved it at her.

“Go see the nurse. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Olivia felt a punch in the arm. She turned in her seat to Ralph snorting hysterically and making a “Loser” sign on his forehead. She faked a giggle, turned back around and shook her head. Oh my god.