Trouble with 21 year old son

Well really, your wife should be supporting you with this shed issue, but not going to be easy if she said your son can use it.. Its not good at all,that you have to tolerate the verbal abuse from your son, an anger that is probably made worse with the smoking of weed.

I would definitely try and take control here, but do appreciate that some family dynamics don't work like they should.

I am feeling a bit sorry for you here as a woman, as I love my shed, I have just refurbished it, all newly painted inside,and everything in great order. So hope you can reclaim your shed very soon. and hopefully get rid of the horrible weed stench !!

Quietly one day set up smoke alarm and sprinkler system in shed. Put small notice on inside door that the shed has now been fire proofed according to building regs or some such gumf (make it look official). Wait. Allow sprinkler/alarm to do its work.

I would advise first a talk with your wife - tell her its critical you evict him from the shed as you dont want to live in this way and that as joint? owners of the house you are responsible for what happens in it and the shed. Jointly tell your son he will leave the shed by a certain date or you will have no alternative but to call the police about the weed. Make sure you do it.Failing that, get you stuff out and set fire to it as its a liability.You need to establish authority and until you do your life will be as HE wishes. If your wife is uncooperative - you have a decision to make. You would probably be better on your own in the long run.

If not go to the shed now and take everything out that’s his and change the lock on it.

My 22 year old is one of the most entitled people I’ve ever come across. I don’t know if we were too soft or spoiled her too much. But sometimes I have to really put my foot down and ride the shit wave that comes with it. She isn’t on the level your son is and she works hard but you have to re assert your place in your own house. I’d also tell your wife if she isn’t happy with it she is free to go and live some where else with your son

Why would you even want him staying in the house, he’s aggressive and has no respect. It also sounds like he’s just leeching off you. How’s he ever going to live independently if he carries on this way? Sorry but he needs chucking out to make his own way in the world. I would get legal advice on how to make him leave the house.

Thanks for the replies. By evict I mean tried to get rid of his stuff, lock the shed, stop his mates from coming around. I have loads of stuff still in the shed I haven't seen for 3 years and have even bought replacements hence why stored in house. He becomes verbally abusive when I challenge him and everyone in the house gets stressed. It happens most days. My fault I guess for being weak but it is me or him as we cannot do-exist until he has some respect. Happy for him to stay in the house but he has to get out of the shed.

I had a large new shed build for me 3 years and haven't used it yet as wife let son use it for a den, he and his friends now have furniture and smoke weed day and night in it. All my garden stuff is in the house. I have tried to evict him but receive emotional and once physical abuse so not a case of not trying. He pays us little rent and does nothing to contribue to the house. My wife will not support and I am at my wits end. Help.