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Making the First Move

So you’re at the bar, and you see a woman you want to approach. You feel anxious, your palms are sweating, and your mouth is dry. You’re not alone in these feelings. Most guys, even the ones that act cool, are not totally comfortable in making the first move. Wouldn’t it be great if women always made the first move? Sorry to say, a lot of women still want the old fashioned, guy-picks-up-girl routine. It’s part of the mating dance.

Now, how are you going to make that move and be successful? Well, success is never guaranteed, but here are a few tips that I will share to help ease the pain.

Go For It Because no matter what happens, you’ll have tried. Most men who find themselves in this situation, just think about approaching a hot woman, but they don’t do it out of fear of rejection. But what’s worse? Being turned down? Or wondering what if? Dating is all about taking risks. Women have to kiss a lot of frogs before they meet their prince charming, and men have to face rejection multiple times before they score a hot hookup. The confidence it takes to make the first move is attractive to women and may be rewarded.

Relax Walking up to a woman and starting a conversation is the hard part. Once you’re talking with her, be conscious of your body language. Loosen up, take a breath, lean against the bar. Try not to think about dating her or having sex with her (I know, not easy.) Forgetting about a final outcome will help take the pressure off and allow you to chill. Your relaxed demeanor will make her feel comfortable as well. There’s nothing worse than the anxiety rub-off one feels from someone else.

No Regrets Most of the time, you’re not going to get a hookup out of these one-off encounters, let alone a phone number. Does this mean you should stop trying? No way! First off, occasionally you will land a hottie for a hookup, and second, the practice you get is invaluable. And you’ll be fine tuning your approach over time. Dating confidence doesn’t happen overnight, and yes, there’s a lot of rejection along the way, but don’t sweat it, taking chances is way better than regretting what might have been.

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