My thoughts on life as I slowly navigate my way through the process of living.

Monday, February 20, 2012

open letter to Glamour magazine

Dear Glamour,

I just read your article by Mindy Kaling. I dislike her character on The
Office, but having no other reference for her aside from that show, I figured
I'd read it to see what she has to say. I was truly disappointed.

I grew up as a competitive ice skater. Having always been the fat girl in
the ice skating world, I'm a bit weight sensitive. Now - as both a mother and a
social worker - I try to suppress those self-hating tendencies even though I’m
the heaviest I’ve ever been at a size 10, which I admittedly often fail at. But
at least I know better and try to model better attitudes. I'm also very
aware of the inundation of media messages telling girls to be thin, and aware
of the damage it causes.

Anyway, I read this article where she repeatedly calls herself "the
chubby Indian kid" and says how much criticism hurts her, so I mistakenly
expected her to have some sort of agenda to promote body acceptance or rail
against the ways Hollywood makes her feel inadequate. Silly social worker, not
everyone in the world has a do-gooder outlook.

With tidbits such as:

"I spent the next 3 weeks running intervals on
the treadmill eating lean proteins and vegetables with a handful of berries as
a "treat". It was a pathetic and unhappy time during which I was
endlessly grouchy. I recommend it to no one. But it was worth it for the
gown"

and

"my body looks slammin and I'm smiling and
that's all that matters"

I was literally horrified at what I read. Actually, I was subconsciously
adding up how many calories I could burn if I ate nothing but berries for 3
weeks to see if that would really make a difference in my jean size while
simultaneously chastising myself for not working out like I used to and being
the size of a small hippopotamus.

*Then* the educated part of my brain took over, and I got angry. I
expect this type of written trickery from the stick thin waif-like models. Of
course they can survive on celery and chai tea, their metabolism stopped
working years ago! But from the alive-looking women I expect more of a Kate
Winslet attitude. You know - "screw you Hollywood, don't Photoshop
me!" But here, this woman is talking about wanting to be as fashionable as
the Kardashians and her best outift coming from a custom cinched waist. And my
inner 10yo girl who would cry when nobody was looking because I was curvier
already than the other girls and who knew every calorie count to every piece of
food known to man instantly woke up and whispered "you'll never be good
enough."

The thing is....if something as ridiculous as a fashion magazine article can
do that to me, who (at least I would like to think) has a slightly more
sophisticated world view with a broader range of acceptance and a great deal of
knowledge about women's issues and the ways society contributes to their
negative self image - if I can revert to that angsty pre-teen in a matter
of minutes, then what does it do to the actual angsty teenagers who are
reading this too?

It's not right. I've spent years working on my body issues that were in part
given to me by the world I grew up in. It's hard to be an ice skater with a
figure. The criticisms and comments still resonate years later, and it's not
the kind of thing that ever leaves your head. But when you know better, you do
better - for the next generation. I don't want my daughter growing up with the
kinds of thoughts that are in my head that say that my worth is inversely
proportionate to my pant size. I don't want this generation of girls to grow up
thinking that endless amounts of running on the treadmill and a diet of celery,
lettuce, and lemon juice will bring them any sort of sustainable happiness. I
want to be part of what teaches them that their worth lies in their actions,
their friendships, their honesty, their dreams.

I’m sure Mindy Kaling thinks she’s being cute or humourous to preemptively
laugh off any potential criticism, but she’s not. Like it or not, she’s in a
position of influence being a woman in Hollywood. As such, she should be
ashamed of herself for promoting extreme dieting and exercise to attain such
superficial beauty. Glamour magazine is read by thousands of young girls and
women each month – when will your articles start to encourage them to love who they
are instead of adding to the disillusioned standards that society already holds
us to?

About Me

"Gypsy" comes from my heritage & "Lost" describes the way I've always felt in life. Some call me a hippie. Some call me a feminist. Some call me an activist. I prefer to think of myself as a humanitarian, determined to change the world for the better. I tend to see things from a different perspective than most others do. I hope you enjoy my musings along the way & perhaps I'll change a few viewpoints in the process.