5 Kinds of Guys You Meet in First Year of University

First year is the first step into adulthood, the freedom you so craved, the opportunity to date your face off and assemble the crack-team that you’ll call your crew. You’ll meet such a wide variety of characters that it will be hard to keep track of everyone.

You’ll retain some names, sure, like the ones you hold close and dear to your heart and who are lucky enough to have you call them your pals. But most you’ll give secret nicknames, like “that hot TA,” or “girl from intramural field hockey,” or “guy who let me borrow his poli-sci notes, but he’s kind of weird so let’s not do that again…”

Call it fate, call it chance, but the people you meet in first year undoubtedly help shape your post-secondary experience—for better or worse.

Here are the five guys* you will absolutely, without a fraction of a doubt, run into first year:

*Note: not every guy will fit into these types but there’s a lesson to be learned here: everyone has something unique to offer, making them an invaluable part of your university experience.

Depending on your lifestyle choices, this guy could be your greatest resource while you’re in school (outside of the café employee who looks the other way without judgment while you take extra tacos, or the second-year who buys you beer).

This guy is always good for a laugh and is perpetually chill. His dorm room is hazier than your memory of prom night, has more traffic than Grand Central Station, and more Bob Marley and Seth Rogen movie posters on his wall than a Hot Topic. He’s the guy who spotted you during frosh week orientation, hungover and miserable, and promised to hook you up with some grade-A ish. He prefers sessions to seminars and generally makes it to class only when he feels like it—or remembers.

Not just in a sexual sense; this guy is new to everything. University is likely his first time being in an environment with little authority and it will absolutely show. If you’re drinking with some friends, he’s the guy passed out in the corner at 9 o’clock. If you’re hanging out with the Stoner and having a pretty decent time, he’s the guy greening out, and freaking out, because he doesn’t know what’s happening to him. This guy will not only be game for anything and everything, but will go out of his way to prove that he can roll with the big kids, and almost always taking on more than he can handle. This guy will be more of a headache than anything else, though he’ll always be that “really, really nice guy!”

This guy is the most fascinating of them all. His accent will draw you in like a beacon, a moth to the flame. Common things like maple syrup, red Solo cups and your “American slang” will never fail to intrigue him. You’ll feel worldly by association and be fascinated by his stories from back home. He’ll frequently mention just how cold it is and will roll his eyes before you make him quote a stereotypical (and probably offensive) catch phrase for the millionth time.

A sighting of this guy will be more rare than that of a solar eclipse. He’ll have more mood swings than your menopausal mother and will look closer like the zombies he’s marking (never leaving the dorm room will do that). His desk is more like a flight deck simulator and his TV will be bigger than any student should be able to afford. He’ll use words like “n00b” and generally make less sense than the Foreign Exchange Student. He’ll blare EDM and techno, and the amount of Red Bull he can drink will be impressive. No, seriously.

This guy will arrive on campus and be stoked on the opportunity to join the brotherhood. He’ll also use the word “stoked” un-ironically. He’ll be down to party and will know just who to go to for guest list at all the best bars. Popped collars are no thing, only to be replaced by “suns out guns out” and “FTB” beaters. He’ll be able to juggle class, sports, his mandatory philanthropic endeavors, and daily trips the gym, all while maintaining a solid GPA. Don’t underestimate him; this guy’s going places—whether it’s because of his genuine intellect and drive, or through one of his million connections is another story. Also, his snapback collection will rival anything you’ve ever seen.

Meg is an Algonquin College journalism student and former Carleton University honours history student, freelance reporter and photographer, secret wife of Conor Oberst and Movember enthusiast. When she's not writing or snappin' pics she's most likely adventuring or snacking.