LET’S get one thing straight: If I want a real hamburger, I’ll pass up this winter’s circus of luxury burgers for the basic, plump juice-oozers of Burger Heaven, made with freshly ground chuck and little else.

Truffles, foie gras, Kobe beef – the Old Homestead’s $41 brainstorm – are little more than gimmicks. Sirloin, used exclusively at ’21’ and for 80 percent of DB Bistro Moderne’s $50, black-truffled blockbuster, has too little fat to be as juicy and flavorful as I like.

But there’s nothing wrong with a good gimmick, especially in the dead of January when the city’s snoozing restaurant scene can do with a good-humored wakeup call.

DB’s Burger Royale – pricier than any entree at the Four Seasons or Le Cirque – is something to see, if not to gulp down when you feel a Big Mac attack coming on. Standing 4 inches tall, spanning 4 inches across, it is the Elephant King of burgers, compared with which all others are pygmies.

The elements stacked and inserted between halves of a crunchy parmesan and black onion-seed roll could stock a small gourmet shop: braised short ribs and foie gras tucked into the burger, made from first-class beef and pan-seared to a crusty finish; ground horseradish and French mustard; crackling, curly chicory and tomato confit on top and fresh tomato underneath; and, of course, layers of freshly shaved black Provencal truffles – top, bottom and in between.

It is served with wonderfully airy, crisp potato puffs. But a defibrillator might be a better idea, despite chef Daniel Boulud’s cheery observation that the burger itself is only 20 percent fat and the truffles add no more.

Forget using your hands. It would take the mouth of a hippopotamus to take it all in.

I’ve long been a fan of DB’s original $29 burger made with a small amount of truffles, but it can on occasion be dry, and the souped-up version I tried yesterday shared the same weakness.

Where do burgers go from here?

With truffles and foie gras onboard, it remains only to incorporate the third “luxury ingredient,” caviar, into an even more expensive variation.