Don’t let unhelpful people ruin your day

Sometimes, people who appear unsupportive just need you to tell them what they can do to help as you look for a job.

Here’s a reader’s observation: When I was looking for a job, it seemed to me that most people who had jobs were clueless about how long it takes to find a job and how much effort it takes. At a time when I needed people, many seemed less-than-supportive.

If you find yourself in this reader’s situation, there are ways to educate people without sounding defensive or angry.

The most important thing you can do is communicate — in a positive way — about your job-search activities. Keep and update your job-search plan. In addition to being an effective tool, your plan will help you recall a day’s (or week’s) activities and the results of your efforts.

People who are employed and have not job searched in a while can appear to lack empathy. Many people don’t realize that the days of walking into a company, filling out an application, handing someone your resume, then getting called in for an interview in a week or two are long gone.

The very nature of the employer-employee relationship has shifted. Not that long ago, companies kept employees for the entire length of their careers. These days, employees often are downsized, reorganized and restructured with little or no notice. In fact, the average length of time someone stays in a job now is between 2 1/2 and eight years. For many, this change in the marketplace is not their reality. At least, not yet.

Sometimes people simply don’t know what to say to someone who is looking for work. Most people just need you to share more clearly exactly the areas you want to work in or the type of position you seek to be more supportive.

If you encounter someone who really is cold and uncaring, don’t let their comments and actions affect you. Don’t let their behavior create any self-doubt.

Know this: Everyone who is working, between jobs or just starting out, needs each other. You never know who your next boss or employer will be. The next time you meet someone who is in the midst of a job search, ask them how you can help, and offer encouragement.