The Flash: Tell me about it. Life is so unfair. You know, Superman could do anything. He could fly, X-ray vision, super-strength.. all I can do is run fast.

Jimmy Olson: Don't say that..

The Flash: No, no, no, it's true! All I canb do is run fast! He can run as fast as me, but he never mentioned that in all these years. Supe, he's a real man, I like that.

Lex Luthor: [ walking up ] Uh, gentlemen, may I show you to your seats?

Green Lantern: [ outraged ] Lex Luthor! What are you doing here!

Lex Luthor: [ trying not to smile ] Uh, it's a.. it's a tragedy. a real tragedy.. a great loss.. just a pity.. just.. tragic..

Green Lantern: You don't mean that, do you, Luthor?

Lex Luthor: [ smiling ] Alright, you got me, I'm glad he's dead! He was a worthy arch rival, and I'm here to show my respect, but I gotta tlel oyu, I'm happy he's gone - this should be a great year for me! Right this way. [ shows them to their seats ]

Batman: [ suppressing tears ] Uh.. I'm Batman. Thank you for.. for coming.. I.. I said I wasn't gonna cry! I was fine.. until about a minute ago.. There's nothing more important to Superman than his friends. And looking out at all your.. [ weeps ] fa-aces.. makes me realize.. I'm sorry!

Robin: [ jumping forward ] It's okay, Batman!

Batman: Sorry, Robin.. I can't help it..

Robin: [ weeping ] Oh, man.. here I go.. when I see you cry, it makes me cry-y-y...

[ Black Lightning enters ]

Jimmy Olson: EXcuse me.. excuse me, this is a private service.

Black Lightning: Uh-huh.. no, man, I'm Black Lightning!

Jimmy Olson: Black Lightning?

Black Lightning: Black Lightning! You know me! Me and Superman were like this! [ crosses fingers ] We were tight! I had my own comic book back in the 1970's! i'm the one that taught him how to fly!

Batman: [ continuing his eulogy ] Uh.. some people here, from Marvel Comics, have come to pay their respects..

[ Spiderman, Incredible Hulk and Mister Fantastic step up to the podium ]

Incredible Hulk: I.. I wish I.. Hulk not good with words. Hulk write it down. [ takes out sheet of paper, then puts on reading glasses ] "Superman was that rarest of things. Every superhero owes him a debt of gratitude and homage. His life was a super-human expression of the noblest asperations of man. And, in death, he has become the ideal. Of my friend Superman, I can only say this: he was.. my.. hero!" [ removes glasses, near tears ] I.. Hulk.. just.. Hulk.. Hulk just not the same! [ smashes podium to bits ] Enough said.

Jimmy Olson: [ runs up, excited ] I just heard from the Chief of Police! The Legion of Doom's attacking Metropolis Civic Arena!

Perry White: [ jumping up ] Great Caeser's ghost!

Jimmy Olson: You know, I can't help thinking: this looks like a job for Superman..

Batman: Okay. Thank you, Jimmy. We're gonna have to try to carry on without Superman. You understand me okay? Who can fly? [ hands are raised ] Okay, get going! Anybody have super strength? [ hands are raised ] Okay, great! Can anyone here change the rotation of the Earth on its axis? [hands are raised ] Really? That's great! Come on, let's go! Let's do it fdor Superman! runs out with everyone else ]

[ show Black Lightning in the back corner quietly pocketing Aquaman's shrimp for himself ]