Brew a strong pot o' joe. Without it, forgettable fucking could warrant a visit from the sandman. Mechanical oral-to-vage wears thin early on, with less than believable performances. Ashley Licks' pairing with a crowbar of a cock draws a second glance; her reverse cowgirl bull-riding will never make the rodeo circuit. Her scenemate's dick slips out constantly, challenging Licks to hang on for eight seconds. Send in the clowns!

Despite five average cream pies, spunk lovers wanting extra sausage gravy on their biscuits can skip ahead to the final scene. Don't forget your galoshes - Kitty bathes in so much gush, one starts to wonder if her victim could've managed to piss in her before he came. It's a question for the ages.