Starting Home Ed at year 9

My DD will start year 9 in September. She is currently finding everything a real struggle and has been referred to a counsellor for anxiety. This stems from the fact that I was in an abusive relationship with her father until 18 months ago. She is also having trouble with bullies and social groups at school.

I have been considering home ed for the last year but now I'm more inclined than ever as she is having panic attacks and physically refusing to go into school.

I am really looking for some advice about how to get started, and where I can get the best support for both of us.

Hi, I took my 12 year old out of year 7 last October, he was crying a lot, under pressure, stressed and unhappy. Turned out to be a mixed year of learning how to do it differently, how to take a step back and not apply the same pressure of school. I would say that the health and wellbeing of our kids should come first and in your case, homeschooling sounds like the right choice and in your place I would do the same. Only, I would suggest the period of de schooling that many talk about, which I did partly and let your daughter get back to being happy and relaxed just by doing activities that she enjoys and perhaps making new friends. I would try to find out about home schooling networks in your area. I know the one we have is great for meeting other kids and info on things going on. The first 6 months or so should be about finding serenity again and the rest will follow. Hope this helps. All the best.

Thank you for your reply she had been due to go into school today and be allowed to work away from the classroom but it's all gone wrong again and I just don't see that it's worth the strain on her mental health. It's really starting to look like a positive option for us and it's great to hear how well it can work.

Deregister her. Tell her she does not have to go back. Deschool (allow a month for every year spent in school, assuming no trauma happened). During the deschooling period, do not push anything that looks like "school" or "work" or "learning". Go on fun trips. Help her rebuild her confidence. Get on quietly with every day life - shopping, cleaning, cooking, gardening, whatever. Go to the park. Watch silly movies together. Read fun books. Listen to her, answer her questions, help her do the things she wants to do.

At the end of that deschooling period, which will be at least January if not later, you will have a secure enough relationship with her, and she'll have recovered enough, to decide whether you want to carry on in a similar vein, or whether you want to get going on formal GCSE preparation using workbooks/tutors/interhigh/whatever

and where I can get the best support for both of us. Are there many home edders in your area? If so, begin to get networked with them. They know a million times more than any Local Authority home education officer, however kindly and well intentioned that officer is.