Posts Tagged purpose

As a child, my father was always very inquisitive as to who my friends were as individuals. He wanted to know everything about them and meet them before I could hang out with them. He would inquire as to where they were from, who their parents were, and ask what them seemed like a million questions. In my teen years, he asked less questions but the questions were more specific and he still had to meet them. Partially because he loved me and wanted to be a part of my life and the other is because he understood what kind of influence our friends can have over us especially in early stages of developing our character and morals. At the time it was a nuisance and now I see it as a blessing.

I have always considered myself blessed with an abundance of friends. Up until the age of twenty-two I always had a plethora of great friends and attempted to spend as much time with all of them to make sure I developed each friendship. To be honest it was exhausting, I had very little time for myself and had more what I would call “good” friends than great “friends”. When you spread yourself too thin in any area you, you don’t ever really master anything and this includes relationships. At 22 years old came chiropractic college and along with that came a ton more to do, which meant less and less time for activities outside of school causing me to condense the number of friends I had in my inner circle to an even smaller number.

In chiropractic school, I can remember telling my dad I was a bit overwhelmed one week because I had so many friends pulling me in so many directions. That day on the phone my dad taught a lesson that I have used as a basis for my current day friendships. He said, “You can only have as many great friends that you can count on your one hand.” At first I was taken back and definitely wondering what I would do with the rest of my friends. After much thought I began to re-organize my friends in a way that better served us all, not necessarily eliminating friendships but re-prioritizing them. This lesson taught me that it is more important to be friendly to all and true friends with few.

Friends have a HUGE impact on who we are and who we become. Simply put, the people we spend our time with are the people we are most like. I always challenge people to look at their five closest friends and to ask themselves if they like what they see? Because chances are it is like looking in a mirror! It’s crucial that we keep a pulse on our circle of influence so that we keep a pulse on the evolution of our character and morals.

Each year I go through all my relationships with my friends and give them a wellness check up. I start by making a list of all my friends. I look at the overall friendship account I have with them. I make sure that we are both keeping the intricate balance between both deposits and withdraws so we keep the account in balance. I also look at their evolution as an individual and make sure it is still congruent with my belief and value system. Any friendships where I need to step it up, I make a conscious effort to contribute more. On the contrary, any relationships that I feel have been overdrawn are assessed. I then have a courageous (courageous because sometimes they are not easy to have) conversation with that individual. This exercise holds me accountable to my friends and helps me maintain true to myself.

It is important to have friends. Friends are a blessing from God and the family we choose for ourselves. As long as we keep a balance in our friendships so they don’t begin to alter who we are or alter our purpose. It has been said that we an individual is most like their five closest friends. I can honestly say that I have some of the best friends in the world. And that they contribute not only to who I am but to my purpose. They make me a better person and elevate my happiness. I am so thankful for each and every one of them. While we have boundaries, we have no limits as to what we would do for each other! To ensure success, just as in anything else, friendships need Tender Loving Care! Like I tell my BFFs, that F is forever!

I have decided that I am not weird or normal. Rather I am awake. On my plane ride to EPOC Omaha I got into an in depth discussion with the two gentlemen, Phil and William, in my row. They were both at two different places, Phil was newly diagnosed with Celiac and wanting to get into wellness and William was under chiropractic care and living the wellness lifestyle. We had an awesome conversation for the short 1-hour flight. Toward the end of conversation William told me that he loves meeting people who lives a lifestyle similar to his. I told him I wrote a bog about this exact topic where I questioned if a wellness lifestyle was really weird or was it normal. He responded it’s neither; we are just awake. I immediately wrote it down and told him that is exactly what we are. We are awake.

Dictionary.com defines awake as to “wake up, to rouse up, and to come or bring to an awareness; become cognizant.” As an example it states: “she awoke to the realities of life”. Wow, to awake to the realities of life. I know that is what I did. What many may not know is that I was raised in the medical model. I thought being sick was normal and that drugs and surgery were a must. Honestly until I entered chiropractic school and met my boyfriend at the time I thought people who lived the current chiropractic and wellness lifestyle I live were weird.

I can honestly say that my ex-boyfriend woke me up! Very few people will say a positive thing about an ex let alone acknowledge them for waking them up to the power of wellness and chiropractic. I can remember meeting Ryan when he was an intern and I was his patient. During our visits he would question the medical paradigm I was under and the medi-practor belief system I had about chiropractic. We definitely did not see eye to eye. Once he released me from his care and we started dating he began to educate me and inundate me with information. Truthfully I thought he was crazy but cute and an amazing person. So, I began to try to see his points and began to educate myself. Throughout the years we dated I learned so much and I can honestly say I am the chiropractor I am today because of Ryan and his love of chiropractic.

Before meeting Ryan I was asleep. Dictionary.com defines asleep as “in or into a state of sleep, into a dormant or inactive state; to rest, into the state of death”. Wow, into the state of death! Exactly where I was headed. I was on multiple antacids, taking a combination of prescription, over the counter, and Rolaids to get by all under the direction of my medical doctor. Year after year I was getting sicker and sicker and told that the goal was to stave off surgery for the multiple ulcers for as long as possible. And that is exactly what happened from about twelve to twenty-one. At 21 years old I woke up. And thank God, sickness is not exactly the slumber that allows one to rest and heal as sleep is meant to do.

Since William Merrill reminded me I am not weird I am awake I have been looking around and a lot of people are sleeping. Sleep walking, which makes it even more dangerous. I got my wake up call in 2002 when I met Ryan. I am so thankful that he shared the story with me and held my hand as I transitioned from my deep sleep and slowly gained back my life. I am forever grateful that he woke me up. The majority of the world needs a wake up call. Their alarm has been ringing but comfortable in their sleepy state they keep hitting the snooze button. Just like hitting the snooze button can make you late for work or cause you to miss a ride the same holds true in the terms of health. Staying in the comfortable slumber of the medical paradigm may hold you back from living your life or even worse end your life. It’s time to wake up there is a life out there worth living and your loved ones want to experience it with you!

“Walk a mile in a man’s shoes and you will see what it is like to be him and you may shift your perspective”, my grandmother said this to me any time I began to judge another. It was an awesome lesson to learn at such a young age and I have used it many times throughout my life. This is simple lesson has allowed me to view the world with eyes wide open.

This weekend I attended the Winner’s Circle Weekend put on by The Masters Circle in Sarasota, Fl. Knowing that BJ Palmer had a house there where he spent his last days and wrote many of his books, I had a hunch what one event of the “secret” weekend might be a visit there. Little did I know the entire weekend I would be walking in BJ Palmer’s shoes?

Friday morning we started the day at BJ’s house. As I exited the van, a silence swept over me as I realized I was about to walk through the house where BJ walked, slept, ate, had conversations with friends, wrote books, dreamed, passed on from his mortal life, and so much more. I was overwhelmed with emotions and still at this time I don’t think I could fully list all the emotions I felt; it may take awhile or I may never delineate them.

My journey began walking up the driveway and past his dolphin fountain, his head cast, and his signature in cement I felt a sense of overwhelm realizing I was walking through a piece of history. I walked up the vibrant, primary stone path that lead to the door and entered into the developer of chiropractic’s home and for the two hours I was allotted I would be slipping into his shoes and see the world as he saw it. I’ve always loved seeing friends homes, in my opinion, it allows you to see who they really as our homes are expressions of who we are as individuals.

As I walked through his house it was eclectic to say the least, some said it was wild and I even heard “weird” to me it felt just right. I can honestly say it felt like home. I’ve been through so many museums; my dad wanted us to know our history, and in all the museums I have been through I have never been to one that was so “real”. Dr. Sid, who has a summer residence next door, did an awesome job preserving BJ’s home and in doing so has preserved BJ’s legacy.

BJ’s house was an expression of who he was a brilliant visionary and took the idea of his father and made it a household name. Love him or hate him he believed in Innate and knew that’s expression was imperative for full expression of life. His house was much the same, an expression of his life. The house was filled with history; I thoroughly walked each hallway making sure to absorb every bit of information possible.

I had several pivotal moments but want to share with you the three most pivotal. As I stood in his bedroom at the foot of the bed in which he passed flipping through pictures and paperwork in plastic coverings. In one of the plastic coverings was the death certificate of BJ and DD right next to each other. On the back of the same plastic covering were photos of his funeral. Even as I write this, I am overwhelmed with emotion. One photo was an image of him in his casket, as I looked at his face laying there tears filled my eyes. At that time his death was so real and I quietly thanked him for the strength of his vision and for fulfilling his purpose regardless of what anyone thought and regardless of the opposition. BJ is truly a pioneer and he is a man of strength, dedication, and determination. We could all learn a lot from BJ Palmer and the foundation he laid so that chiropractic has its place. We MUST preserve our heritage.

My next pivotal moment was in the same room where I stepped into his giant wooden clogs, they were huge. The moment I slid my feet into the clogs, I attempted to wrap myself around the realization of what big shoes I have to fill. I have always thought that but this time my thought was a bit different. This time I didn’t ask how I was going to get them to fit or wonder when I was going to “grow into them”. This time I just accepted these were my shoes and I would make them fit. I was handed the shoes of BJ, DD, and many others the day I received my diploma and especially with the current state of chiropractic, I have no choice but to wear them even if I have to shove toilet paper into them to make them fit or wear two pairs of socks. I also realized I wouldn’t have been given the shoes if I wasn’t prepared to wear them and that it was my own thoughts keeping them from fitting. Regardless, since that day I have thought twice about the shoes I was called to step into and I have been wearing them with even more pride.

The last moment was extremely personal and hit me at a soul level. There was a picture on the wall about leadership. To sum it up, as I don’t have know it verbatim, leadership is lonely at times, the more opposition you face and more you are thought to be controversial the more you are leading. Isn’t that the truth? I heard many times how “weird” or “strange” BJ was all throughout the day. Was he “weird”? I guess. Define “weird”. Personally, I have always been told I was “weird” and I guess just like anything in life its all perception. In regards to BJ I will say he was eclectic, he was vibrant, he loved life and it’s expression regardless of what others thought, he dreamed big, he knew he knew the truth, wasn’t going to settle for current paradigms, saw a vision bigger than life, was determined to fulfill his purpose, and saw the world in the terms of what he knew could be rather than what won’t be. Call it “weird” if you want BUT his “weird” got us where we are today. That day in Sarasota, I really resonated with who BJ was and were he came from and realized that “weird” means leader. That day I realized that being “weird” means your vision is vast, that your purpose is intense, and that your convictions are deeply rooted and regardless of opposition you forge ahead. In this case I am definitely “weird” and extremely proud.

After we left his house, we headed to the Ringing Brothers Circus Museum. BJ loved the circus and spent a great deal of time at the circus. The circus was in fact why he moved to Sarasota. Having heard before of BJ’s love of the circus and questioning it, after seeing his house I now knew why he loved the circus. It goes back to being “weird”. The circus is “weird” with the fat lady, the fire breathers, sword swallowers, and vast array of unique individuals; I guarantee none of them ever thought BJ was “weird”. And as an added piece of info, there was an adjusting table in the Ringling Brothers home!

Saturday we were blessed to have Dr. Simon Senzon share with us even more history on BJ Palmer’s life. He truly was an amazing man, some information was a refresher and other information was new both took my love and admiration for BJ to the next level. Having walked through his house just 24 hours prior made me feel that much closer to the developer of our profession and even more grateful.

We could all stand to learn from BJ and realize that we must continually fulfill his vision, not for him, not for us, but for our future. We are borrowing this profession from our future just as BJ borrowed from us. May 27, 2011 marks the 50th anniversary of his death. On May 27th, I encourage you to join me as I sit silently and get even more clear on my vision, mission, and purpose not for me but for chiropractic and as a thank you to BJ for borrowing from me and giving it back better than he found it.

Thank you DD and BJ Palmer you are true visionaries and I am eternally grateful for your strength and determination.

Can you remember the first time you fell “in love”. I was twelve years old and his name was Greg. I thought he hung the moon. He was the cool basketball player and I was a cheerleader. In my mind he was a hunk and I was a super lucky girl to be “going out” with him. Because we were in love I felt the need to tell everyone. I wanted to make sure that everyone knew I was head over heels for Greg. To make sure that everyone was clear he was mine I wrote his name on my jeans in pen (crossing fingers it would be permanent), I scribbled “I heart Greg” on my new white Keds, and made sure when decorating for basketball games my pom-pom hung on the wall by his basketball. It didn’t matter what others thought, it only matter that they knew I was all about Greg. As a constant reminder to all that he was mine I made sure to talk about him constantly day and night. Plain and simple, I was in love with Greg!

Looking back I am not sure I was really “in love” or maybe it’s just that my understanding of what “in love” is has just changed. One thing I do know is that I really, really liked Greg and was passionate about him. As I have aged falling in love is different, more real and with more substance. I have also come to the realization that falling in love is not limited to finding a mate.

What is falling love? I think it varies from person to person and from personality type to type, especially when we look at its expression. But, across the board its safe to say that falling in love creates a sense of invincibility that enables an individual do what may be considered “crazy”. The intense emotions that come from falling love almost gives the impression that when in love you are exactly that invincible.

The intensity of being “in love” escalates with age. Where in junior high you simply write on your jeans or held hands everywhere you went the stakes change. Driving hundreds of miles to spend a few hours with someone, talking endless hours on the phone, staying awake to talk rather than sleep, or even serenading publicly despite being tone deaf are all things which being in love will drive you to perform. Just like the stakes change as we age they also change when we go from person to career.

Passion can be equated to falling in love. We have all met those people who absolutely love what they do. Their sheer love of what they do evokes strong emotion from all who they come in contact with, paving a way for others to get lost in their euphoria. We call these people passionate and you could safely say that they were “in love” with what they do. Just talking to them gets your heart racing you are flooded with feel good endorphins. Listening to them express love for their what they do allows you, for a moment in time, to escape your world and enter into theirs. Many times their passion evokes such emotion that you are lead to purchase what they have to sell or find yourself wanting to learn more about their art or product. Passionate people will do whatever it takes to convey their message. They will write about it, wear clothing that expresses and educates, spend countless hours enhancing their knowledge, increasing awareness to the public, and the list goes on. Regardless of what they do it is safe to assume they are in love with their art.

Do people know what you do? Would people call you passionate? Does your love of what you do evoke an emotion from others? If so, awesome, keep up the great work! If not and it’s what you want then start to take ownership. Give yourself permission to fall in love with what you do. When we fall in love with a person the return is their love that gives a warmth in our heart and drives us to love more. Falling in love what you do is similar as it gives a return in the form of fulfillment and purpose compelling us to pour more of ourselves into what we do. The passion then becomes the fuel that drives us

The book, Good to Great by Collins, is one of my favorite books. Not only is it an easy and enjoyable read, but also its message is simple yet powerful. The book teaches us that good is the enemy of great and with even the simplest of changes we are able to go from good to great. While, Good to Great is a business book; the book is applicable to life. If you lead a life of purpose and a passion most likely your business is a HUGE part of who you are as an individual, intertwining life and business.

Like most people I want a great life in all aspects, well rounded so that all areas are equally balanced. I’ve always been an achiever in all the aspects of life, wanting the best for my life, wanting a great life. Dating back to grade school I always wanted to get the most of my education, social life, family relationships, and spiritual walk. The same holds true today wanting a great life across the board and with aging I have added wanting a great life in the aspect of business and wellness.

There are times we look at others lives and say they have “a great life” but greatness is a personal experience relative to the individual. The beauty of other’s opinions is just that that they are other people’s opinions. I always appreciate when someone compliments my life but compliments don’t have to dictate that you have reached the top level for you, your successes and your level of greatness. So many times we take a compliment as “stop” sign, telling us we have reached the level of greatness for any aspect of our life. While we have only reached a level of greatness in another’s eyes, individually we must decide what a great life means to us.

Personally, I know that I have a good life and each day strive toward a great life. In my opinion a great life is not place you reach and become idle but rather something you constantly strive for because eventually great becomes a new version of good. In order to never settle you must set the standard a bit higher. Interestingly we transition from good to great and then great becomes a new level of good and we have to make the necessary shifts and set our standards to obtain a higher level of great.

Establish your version of great. Be specific and detailed, clearly defining what great looks like and feels like. Set your goals and establish a path that will lead you to great. We all have the ability to have a great life; we just need to set our intentions and focus. Greatness is available, wanting it is half the battle and creating the path is the other half. Enjoy your journey from good to great and don’t let good old you back. Here’s to us having a great life.

Quincy Jones said, “My future is so bright it burns my eyes.” What is your future like? Can you see it? Have you clearly written your premise, purpose, vision, and strategy? Do you play your future over and over in your head day after day? Do you say affirmations that profess and ingeminate your heart’s desire? Can you feel the emotions that lie ahead in your future? Can you hear the sounds? When you allow your future to unveil itself and become real…you will need a new pair of shades because the brightness of what is to come and has become will illuminate your world. Enjoy!!

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational

My Why?

This quote is one of my favorites. I have worked diligently to be able to clearly articulate my future and in detail, lay out all the emotions and events encompass it. To feel the emotions that come as my future unfolds willing them into reality…knowing that allowing myself to feel each emotion as if it were happening in that moment would soon unveil to me the life of my dreams. I know in the deepest parts of my heart and soul that my future truly is so bright it burns my eyes!

In regards to blogging, there was really no question. I knew that upon turning 30, it was time to start many new and exciting chapters in my life and among the new experiences for me would be blogging. After reading a few friends and colleagues blogs I was amazed by their knowledge, awed by their thoughts, provoked to expand myself beyond my own comfort zone, and motivated to begin my own blog to share my heart, mind, and passion.

So, here I sit on January 1, 2010 writing my first blog with millions of thoughts berating my mind eager to appear on the screen that sits in front of me. For my first blog, I decided I would begin, simply, by stating the purpose of my blog: “To Ignite”. To ignite what you might ask? Well, the answer to that question lies in what is to come. I don’t know that that is something I can decide or dictate but rather something that will simply unveil itself as you read.

It is my intent that my blog emulates my spirit, emotions, thoughts, and passion as I share the intricate working of my mind with you. Together through this process we will grow and reach new heights, feeling stretched outside of our comfort zones and compelled to rise up. Enjoy!

“You never know how far reaching something you think, say or do today, will affect the lives of millions tomorrow.” -BJ Palmer