#Rio 2016 #Olympics Condom Crisis

According to my news feed (Reuters), Brazil’s government will hand out 9 million free condoms around Rio de Janeiro during the Olympics. The Olympic committee stated that only 450,000 condoms will go to the 11,500 athletes and staff housed in the Olympic Village. WTF? The condoms are sustainably-produced in order to protect the Amazon rainforest. Therein lies the crisis.

First, the condoms are produced by a factory named Natex (not to be confused with Latex). Apparently there is no truth to the rumor that the condoms will self-destruct when wet. Quality is certainly an issue considering the poor quality of the construction seen in the Olympic Village. Disposal is another issue; The water ways are already polluted, and no one wants see an Olympic condom floating down the river.

Then there is the low number. Do the math. That’s only 39 condoms per athlete. When the staff and coaches are included, the number is even less. They will have to last through the qualifying heats, final competition and after the closing. The low number of condoms will make it difficult for those athletes attempting to break the world record for the most sexual partners. Hopefully many serious competitors brought their own. The undisputed world record is current held by Fidel #Castro of #Cuba who slept with a reported 35,000 women. There’s no word yet if he’ll go to Rio to defend his title. The US record holder is Wilt Chamberlain at 20,000 partners. His team will not comment on whether he will go to Rio to help the USA teams. Also, doctors haven’t cleared Hugh Hefner at 2500 – 5000, Gene Simmons at 5000, or Mick Jagger at 4000 to attend.

Many have tried to break the record, but few have come close. Some well-known competitors include Warren Beatty at 13,000 and Charlie Sheen at 5000. Keep in mind that this is a team event even though only the captain’s name is mentioned, presumably because listing all the hundreds to thousands of partners would take too long. Also remember that these records are life time or career scores. The events in Rio 2016 include daily, weekly and monthly competitions.

There’s no rule that the partners must be of the opposite sex, but they must be human. It was hoped that Rio 2016 would allow female captains, but as of yet, that hasn’t happened –maybe the next Olympics. Another rule is each partner must be a one-time experience. That’s not to say that each couple can’t have sex more than once, but only one time counts toward the record. And it doesn’t matter which way the act is performed, it still counts only once.

The first heat is underway already where three members of the USA basketball team (DeMar DeRozan, DeMarcus Cousins and DeAndre Jordan) visited a high-end #Copacabana brothel. Mind you, these weren’t Secret Service agents. There was no news on whether they qualified for the quarter finals or not. Hopefully, a USA player will beat Castro’s record and bring the gold metal to the USA.

We wish them the best. Remember, even if they don’t win, it’s an honor just to compete.