Today, in the interests of actually writing a blog post, I’m linking up with Jana’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday. Five weeks out of six, there’s a prompt, but this week it’s down to us. Five minutes of free-writing ahoy. 🙂

It’s been an interesting week – I’ve somehow learned how difficult it is to write when there’s nothing in particular to say. I’d like to have written more than I did, but there just wasn’t anything new. I think in so many ways, I am moving forward. In itself, this is a blessing, but I have been so ‘used to’ writing through pain that it is difficult to know what to write when the emotional anguish isn’t there.

The other angle is that this is a temporary reprieve, but I think I create those now. I’m learning after my latest counselling sessions that that may be the case. It’s true that I want to hold on to memories at whatever cost (well, not true in the case of Kim, because I’ve somehow let that go) but I have finally realised what a horrendous cost that is. I become a person I’m not that interested in being when I’m trying to hold on to the rubbish of grief for dear life.

I’ve had a poem in progress for what seems like ages about something my counsellor said to me, but I can’t seem to get it to work. We were having a discussion on the subject of moving on, and he assured me that I have – ‘in a parallel universe, but you’re still carrying this one with you.’

The way he said that makes me smile and cringe….as if there’s something wrong with hanging on. I dearly wish there was something I could hang on to in Kim’s case, which didn’t remind me of everything that was lost.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.

Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.

Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.

Please pass it on:

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About Casey Bottono

I am in love with language. I write poetry and fiction in a wide variety of genres. Most recently, I have been shortlisted as a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities' Pen2Paper contest.