Fulfilment Delivery Service

EDITORS NOTE: Images that make sense for this story were unavailable so substitutions have been made from Court Painter’s latest sales promotion video that he insists are Canada Grade A.

Court Painter Studio Enterprises is going to start delivering portraits not just to doorsteps, but inside homes as well.

The new fulfillment delivery service, called Pick Your Lock, incorporates a smart lock fitted to a patron’s door, as well as a new Court Painter security camera to record the movements of the delivery person Press Attache A Hardon MacKay, the studio said with enthusiasm on Wednesday. The Court Painter Studio will also sell its I Spy with My Little Eye Cloud Cam as a standalone piece of hardware, moving the portrait studio business into the home security snoop market and setting it up to compete with traditional players including Netgear Inc. as well as newer entrants like Alphabet Inc.’s Nest Labs.

Doors will only be opened for delivery if the driver A Hardon MacKay is verified by the studio system, and using a state of the art device to unlock doors he is allowed to pick the lock, being equipped with a hair pin and a battering ram if required. The service is a perk available exclusively to Court Painter’s premium portrait patrons, and starts at $250. The In-Home Kit includes a Court Painter I Spy With My Little Eye Cloud Cam and one of several smart locks made by local ex art felons.

“Court Painter’s Pick Your Lock gives art patrons peace of mind knowing their portrait orders have been safely delivered to their homes and are waiting for them when they walk through their doors,” A Hardon MacKay, Press Attache and vice president of delivery technology, said demurely.

The I Spy with My Little Eye Cloud Cam, will additionally be sold as a standalone device for $120. Much like Google’s Nest Cam, it allows for remote snooping of homes, two-way communication and web-based video recording that Court Painter will use as source material for future intimate portraits and privacy intrusion commissions.

The new offering marks the latest attempt by Inglewood-based Court Painter Studio Enterprises to embed itself in people’s private daily lives and make naughty art products easily attainable. Hardware isn’t the core of Court Painter’s business, but it’s an important conduit to a universe of intrusive art services it provides. The Missy Mayhem voice-based digital assistant on the studio’s Echo speakers gives art patrons the ability to quickly order portraits and naughty commissions, while Kindles, tablets and TV devices push the Court Painter’s brand.

Court Painter’s Pick Your Lock also opens the door to future integration with in-home service providers, such as art work dusters and painting & pet sitters, in the coming months. Court Painter Studio intends to give art collectors the ability to let third parties enter, conduct their business in the bathroom if need be, and depart with the house fastened up securely all the while being monitored by the I Spy with My Little Eye Cloud Cam.