Top 6 Franchises PETA should attack

Now they did it. It was bad enough to use Mario Bros. as a way to protest against animal furs in a… somewhat… ugly fashion (and then claims it was a joke). Now they rallied their guns towards Pokémon as a symbol of animal oppression. As far as I can think, it is one of those moments I wish they knew how to spend money on real issues, but no, time-approved video games are the obvious goal.

I may understand how the Catch ’em All game can be a focus, since it is basically a cock-fight in children’s terms, but let us be honest: those kids who pit their dogs against their neighbor’s cats will maybe come out very empty-handed. In any case, as I already commented once, if the parents take the time to explain the kids the issues around the game, I doubt very much it can come up to a great deal of trouble.

I decided thus to make a list of other six franchises PETA can attack with joy and glee. I think it is worth to spend their money on that instead of -oh- maybe whaling, seal clubbing and other similar things. Again, I remind you that this top six is not placed in order or importance, it is just a list I came up with. And again, I will display the first three today and the next three on friday. Enjoy!

1- The Flinstones

PETA, how could you have been so blind? The whole idea of this franchise os to torture animals and to enslave them for the use of man. Since the 60s the Flinstones and all of Bedrock have terrorized and forced the poor dinosaurs and similar animals to do their dirty work: Brontosaurus used as excavators, even drawbridges, birds destroying their beaks while turning down the volume and Mammoths blasting hot water through their trunks. Oh the horror!

And worst of all, they do complain about their working conditions! I really think these animals have the right of a better treatment, or don’t they? And this has been running for over fifty years!

2- Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Now, this is an obvious one. They may look as humans, but they are all animals inside: the turtles, Beebop and Splinter are all victims of a hate campaign that this evil masked terror with a brain make to torture the peace of mind of our beloved heroes. He pits them into fights, one on one, and then sends his man minions to kick them in the nuts to make sure they will never stand up. All they want is to live in the sewer and enjoy their pizza!

3- Donkey Kong

Now, why not? The whole lizard section of PETA should be up in arms for this one. All kinds of gators are stepped on to get some filthy bananas that gorilla wants. And what could we do with all the reptile bodies lying around in the dirt? How about some nice purses and belts? Donkey kong should be tranquilized and sent to a Zoo, so the reptile population can recover itself… with the inclusion of some innocent beavers, bees,… I mean, some of the gators must be in peril of extinction. Better get their back and accuse this pretending human and his Kong family to take responsibility for the damage they are doing to the environment!

Now, these are the first three. The next ones are up on friday, but if you think there is another franchise that deserves PETAs attention, I am very much up to hear your opinion. Let them ruin our childhood memories as it is deserved while they empty their coffers for those worthy causes! After all, real animals are not suffering at the moment…

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