I wish that sex ed classes would also more seriously address the possible consequences of non male-female vaginal intercourse. I heard on NPR the other day that the largest cause of throat cancer in women (something like 18-49) is now oral sex. That is something that I, as a fairly educated adult, would have never put together. And it's something that teens who are staying abstinant by having oral or anal sex really, really need to know about. I know that I have always downplayed (in my own mind) the importance of safe-sex outside of heterosexual vaginal intercourse, and that was a real wake up call for me!

I had to go straight to NPR's website about that one, because I was curious too. Actually, it is the HPV virus that can lead to throat cancer. Just don't want people to think that oral sex itself causes it, it is the transmission and cultivation of the virus that causes it. HPV also has a direct link to cervical cancer (I think that is the primary reason that PAP smears are highly recommended these days). Unlike other STDs, many people are silent carriers and will never know that they have it, nor will they have any symptoms, which means it can be transmitted easily and most people will never know they have it until 1) they have PAP smear, or 2) in the case of throat cancer, when the cancer is detected. I don't ever remember hearing anything, though, from my various sex ed classes that there are risks with oral sex as well. In fact, I don't remember hearing too much about HPV. Maybe it always existed in the form of throat cancer but there was a time in our history when many, many people smoked or were around smokers, so it may have been overlooked or the cancer may have been blamed totally on smoking or other issues.

whoa! Why does oral sex cause throat cancer?? I have never heard such a thing, I don't disbelieve you I just am kinda shocked...And the men of the world wept...

Sorry, obviously over/misstated that. Yes, there are forms of HPV that are linked to Throat cancer. Something that makes sense, to me, but that I wouldn't have really thought of. And as MusicianDad stated, there is such an emphasis on pregnancy & male-female penis/vagina STD transference that other issues are often ignored all together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24

ohh derr, I knew that.. I'm really not as stupid as I appear... I was thinking of just some kind of spontaneous throat cancer

LOL, obviously my fault. That said, I think that more people need to know about it!

While it makes me really angry you and your classmates were exposed to this "education" I really appreciate you coming forward and confirming the misinformation that seems to be built into many sex ed programs.

...I wish that sex ed classes would also more seriously address the possible consequences of non male-female vaginal intercourse.

Not me and my classmates, my kid.

No mention was made of non male-female vaginal intercourse in the program. One of the assumptions was that everyone is hetrosexual, and will marry and then have babies.

There are really, really good reasons to be very selective about with whom and when one is sexual, even if pregnancy isn't a possible outcome. The focus on pregnancy and aids by-passes some very pressing issues for kids. There are so many things to do other than put the penis in the vagina, but honestly you'd think that either the people who wrote the program don't know that, or that they are sure kids won't ever figure them out if we don't mention them.

And since most adults can't get their heads together enough to discuss intercourse, the conversation is completely lost when it comes to oral sex, which isn't seen as a big deal by many in the new generation. A lot of teens are having oral sex as a way to bypass fear of pregnancy, and I suspect that many believe they are following the advice to *abstain.*

Another thing that annoyed me is the message that it isn't possible to control one's fertility at all, but that doesn't matter once you are a married grown up. That is such an un-truth.

It also bothered me that these things were presented as FACTS by a SCHOOL.

Personally, I'm really grateful for Seventeen magazine. It was my primary basis for any kind of sex information. If I had listened to my friends, I'd have ended up in major trouble. If I had listened to my parents, I never would have known anything because their belief was in abstinence until marriage, which is something I didn't(and still don't) agree with. I did get some sex ed in school, and it did cover some birth control information, but it wasn't detailed enough for me to have had a working knowledge of things.

I would not want my kids in an abstinence only class. I would have them sit it out. I think it's nice, in theory, to think that kids' parents should teach them about sex. But I can speak from experience that it doesn't work out, and I had super-involved proactive parents. But they believed in pushing their agenda, which was not in line with my beliefs. Fortunately, I found other sources, and so I never had to deal with STDs or unplanned pregnancies. It's also worth noting that I was also disallowed from reading Seventeen magazine. I snuck it.

I really don't like giving oral sex on a good day, but as a teen I was dating a guy who wanted some and I was describing how much it sucks for me and added that the taste of a condom really didn't help matters. He asked why on earth I'd do it with a condom on anyway. I looked at him like he was insane and proceeded to NOT give him a BJ ever.

Most of my peers probably wouldn't have understood why I looked at him like he was crazy.

Wow I totally never thought of STDs being transmitted through oral sex. I mean it makes a lot of sense but the thought never even occurred to me! And I had the full sex-ed in high-school with all the birth control info, but they never mentioned anything about that!

I'm kind of scared now! I probably have HPV because I have had tons of abnormal pap smears, so DH has probably gotten it from me... thanks for the warning!!!!

Me (32), married to DH (36)
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Wow I totally never thought of STDs being transmitted through oral sex. I mean it makes a lot of sense but the thought never even occurred to me! And I had the full sex-ed in high-school with all the birth control info, but they never mentioned anything about that!

I'm kind of scared now! I probably have HPV because I have had tons of abnormal pap smears, so DH has probably gotten it from me... thanks for the warning!!!!

Oh what your health teacher didn't do a DENTAL DAM demonstration because ours did and I don't I laughed so hard in my life...

Those things are the funniest/most ridiculous product ever created. I haven't ever actually met a person who has used one let alone ever even seen where to buy one...

Now just picture a 45 year-old man in sweat shorts that are TOO tight holding a dental damn over his mouth poking his tongue into while he simultaneously tries to explain how it is used during oral sex on both partners to prevent disease

I'm sure they work and I appreciate his attempts to help us "stay safe" but oh man was it funny.

For the record, I support comprehensive sex education. Instead of responding to individual posts with that PITA quote feature, I’ll just share couple of thoughts.

In doing some mandatory HIV/AIDS training for work, we watched a video, and I remember a woman saying something really compelling. She gave her son some condoms, showed him how to use them, and told them that he was free to put them away until his wedding night. No analogy is ever perfect, but I really like hers: You can inculcate into the heads of your young children that they should not EVER cross the street alone. But you don’t withhold from them the fact that anyone who crosses the street needs to look both ways and wait for cars to go by. Even if you make every effort to keep them from going across alone, and even if they have every intention of obeying you, they still need to know how to go across safely. Do you catch where I’m going with this?

For those of you who say that sex ed should be about the facts, and that comprehensive sex ed is the only way to convey the facts, I completely agree. I also agree that the facts need to be accurate and thorough without any fear-mongering. But the undertone that I’m reading in this thread is more of a contention over values than facts. None of us want our children to learn a different set of values—be they about sexuality or any other sensitive matter—than what we’re teaching them at home. In a culture as pluralistic as ours, it is unfair to impose conservative, Judeo-Christian values of human sexuality on a classroom full of children whose parents wish to raise them differently. BUT……(and please don’t dogpile on top of me for saying this! Let’s keep this conversation flame-free)……respect for pluralism works both ways. As just one example, Planned Parenthood’s idea of sexuality education on masturbation is to teach that it’s healthy and normal “sex play.” Personally, I’m OK with this. But to various branches of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, masturbation is viewed as sinful. So there are competing values, and the Planned Parenthood set of values shouldn’t be imposed on children whose parents disagree. That’s where sex ed gets tricky. Sometimes parents view a presentation of facts as an assault on their values. Also, keep in mind that “facts” can be cherry-picked to uphold a particular set of values. I, for one, would support discussing options in contraception AND allowing kids to view photos of what genetal herpes looks like. Withholding either isn’t fair to them.

OWL is a faith-based curriculum. It is sponsored by the Unitarian and United Church of Christ teachings. I just thought I’d say that for those of you who believe that religion should stay out of classrooms.

Finally, I completely agree with the poster who believes that NFP should be taught (with the caveat that it’s not the best method unless used in a long-term monogamous relationship!) May I take this a step further? Childbirth and breastfeeding are also part of the continuum of human sexuality. I would love, love, LOVE to see both male and female students learning about options in childbirth, how breastfeeding works and benefits babies, and even social problems like the high cesarean rate. Couples go into childbirth with so much fear, misinformation, and Tinseltown influence (“Birth is inherently dangerous,” “An epidural must just be a given”) that it would be nice to change the birth culture from within our classrooms, while they’re still young and childless. But I’m opening a new can of worms, aren’t I?

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As a facilitator for the Our Whole Lives (OWL) program I would like to point out that though it was written by the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) and the United Church of Christ (UCC) it is not a faith based program. It is a secular comprehensive whole life sexuality program that has supplemental faith based curriculums that each denomination uses when taught at their churches. OWL is taught around the US in many settings, from UU and UCC churches to youth centers and even some public charter schools. I am currently working with my son's public charter school (K-8) to hopefully offer it next year as an after school program for our 8th graders going off to high school. I am currently teaching comprhensive sexuality classes at his school but in a much less in depth program than OWL. I hope this changes next year but as we are a brand new school we had to start somewhere!

I am a firm believer in kids having access to the knowledge they need to take care of themselves. One of the main focuses in OWL is that parents are a child's first sexuality educator and this is something that we have stressed in the parent meeting even for the simpler program we are offering this year. We are there to give them the facts, the parents are there to intill their own values.