Thinking about Aruna, I am in two minds --one part of me wants her suffering to
stop and it was really hard to not cry for her, for "what may have been" when I
saw her hospital video being aired on every news channel, or while writing this
entry, or while reading for the first time all those years ago -- Aruna's
tragedy still evokes the same emotional reaction today as when I first heard
heard her story all those years ago -- A pretty nurse, brutally raped by her
subordinate, Sohanlal Bharatha Valmiki, as an act of revenge ; who
has since 1980 been a free man -- free to marry and have a family of his own ;
whose first act upon being released from jail in 1980 was to visit Aruna's room
at KEM hospital and remove the bed guards, leading to her falling from the
hospital bed. He probably thought Aruna would fall and die. She didnt.
Presumably security was raised after this second incident and her co-nurses and
doctors are her only visitors. Later the rapist moved out of the city and was
last heard working in a NewDelhi hospital under an assumed name.

I met a big learned pujari who said I had a sau mein ek patrika [a rare
horoscope], that I’d be a success, will live long and would go abroad..... but
even if he was talking rubbish it does not matter because I know that I will
become known in my field -- That was the ambitious and dynamic 25-year-old
Aruna, talking to her cousin about her career plans to pursue her dreams of
studying abroad. Eerily, the soothsayer's
predictions to her father did come true but I doubt if this was the kind of
fame they would have wished for, nor expected. Aruna, born on 1948June01,
was the youngest daughter of the Shanbhag family -- consisting of her parents
and siblings, six brothers and two sisters, all of who were more interested in
extracting an apartment in Mumbai and financial compensation out of her
tragedy. When that didnt materialize, they abandoned her to her fate.

For a woman who went against her family and rejected the life of abject poverty
in the village, she did well as a nurse in Mumbai, met and fell in love with
Dr.Sundeep
Sardesai, who upon realising that Aruna would never be normal again,
deserted her to marry another woman on 1974May01 and settled down abroad. If
you knew and loved someone so deeply would you not feel any guilt for deserting
them? I cannot help but wonder if Dr.Sardesai, even once, over these 37 years,
ever wondered how Aruna is doing. His rejection makes me wonder if he had ever
cared or loved her at all!

Apparently everyone in Aruna's life has moved on and is living a normal human
life. There is no doubt that Aruna's hellish experience has made her suffer for
37 long years but mercy-killing? Killing someone who cannot make that decision
for themselves isnt mercy. However which way I argue, it seems terribly unfair
that others get to decide when Aruna should die. How do we have the right to
make decisions on behalf of a person who, unfortunately, cannot decide for
herself!

Strange as it may sound, she seems like a fighter to me -- Didnt she overcome
her comatose state after the rape, albeit declared "brain-dead"/'persistent
vegetative state' thence. Her tremendous will to survive reflects in the fact
that despite being brain-dead she has definitely shown a will to live, and most
importantly, she can breathe on her own and isnt dependent on life-aids. The
nurses at Mumbai's King Edward Memorial (KEM) Hospital claim,
Aruna responds to them when they attend to her, albeit as 'screams' or
'smiles' and they cheered at the Supreme
Court's verdict that Aruna should live. For once, I am glad that the
tax-payers money is being put to good use by a handful of KEM nurses and
doctors.

On 2011June01, Aruna Shanbhag will not know she turned 63, as she has
remained oblivious to all her birthdays since 1973November27, but that is not
reason enough to permit euthanasia. Let us not kill someone who, despite two
murder attempts on her life, has shown such tremendous will to live. She has
survived despite the odds stacked against her and she should be allowed to die
when her body chooses it, naturally. That, for me, is mercy!

If reading about Aruna was heart-wrenching, writing this blog entry was
equally difficult, especially because I wanted an appropriate title in Marathi,
one that could reflect Aruna Shanbhag's strong never-say-die spirit, choosing
to outlive her tragedy by 37 long years (and probably many more to come), only
to remind Indians (and the world?) that as a society, and as a nation, we
conveniently choose to forget the silent, the inconvenient, the speechless and
actively deny justice to women who are rape victims. Its ironic to be forgotten
by the next generation you supposedly bring forth!

In Sanskrit, "Mukta"has
various meanings: "finally set free", "liberated, delivered, emancipated (esp.
from sin or worldly existence)" ; as also meaning "abandoned, relinquished,
given up , laid aside" ; "the quarter or cardinal point just quitted by the
sun" [ironically, her first name 'Aruna'; means "the red colour of the morning
sun"] ; unchaste woman; "the spirit released from corporeal existence" (a noun
form). How ironic!

For me, Aruna is already mukta -- she, whose ruddy spirit wills her to live,
despite the cruel betrayals by those she loved, the society and the Indian
legal system! I cant even begin to imagine the pain Aruna may have gone through
but instead of killing her in the name of mercy, we should be fighting to
update the ancient rape laws in India -- bring them on par to those followed in
developed nations like USA, Europe, et al. Lets petition to change Indian laws
and make it impossible for an Aruna Ramchandra Shanbhag redux, ever! That, for
me, would be true mercy towards all Indian women and each day would be Indian
Women's Day!

"Bangalore people are so cultured people they will never tolerate any
indignity, harassment or assault on women. Even without police and without
government, the dignity of women in Bangalore city is perfectly safe and
protected,"

WRONG, Mr. Bidari, Bengaluru is not safe......
INDIA is not safe for women. I can narrate my experiences too
BUT do you even want to listen to women like Archana and others who were
attacked ?!

Join us :

Women in Bangalore are facing serious violence and attacks - for wearing jeans,
going out in the streets, fighting back the moral police etc and we need to
stop these attacks. This is a letter to the police commissioner/home
minister/press release regarding the recent attacks on women in
bangalore,

FRI, Mar06 :
Please come to ALF [Phone : 080-2286 5757] on Friday anytime between 2-6pm to
make posters for the protest at the DGP'S office on saturday.. Charts and
colours will be provided but feel free to bring your own and you can bring
money you would like to contribute. Alternative Law Forum, 122/4 Infantry Road,
(opposite Infantry Wedding House), Bangalore 560001, (nearest bus stop-
Shivajinagar Depot)

SAT, March07:
1. Gather at Nrupathunga Road at 15:30. (Parking available at YMCA, DG's
office compound, etc.) Stand on either side of the road, outside DG-IG's
office, holding placards, silently.
2. Either the DG-IG comes out at 16:30 collects the memorandum and addresses
the audience, or a small representative group goes in to his office when called
and present the memorandum.
3. If the latter, then the representatives will address the gathering, when
they come out.
4. Gathering shall disperse at 17:30.

SUN, March08:
0. On Sunday 2009March08, International Women's Day,members of the group and
other citizens will walk down various prominent roads of the city. Its called
"Take Back the Night Walk" and is
being held by women to reclaim our lawful right to be safe at night across
India. It starts at Indiranagar, Ulsoor and the other two places where the
women were attacked
1. At 18:00, people will gather at the five locations as designated by the area
coordinators. They will interact with the audience (in as many languages
as possible), and spread awareness about the various goals of the Fearless
Karnataka campaign. This will involve spreading of information flyers
and testimonials, conducting bystander polls, and other such forms of
interaction with the people on the streets. This can go on till 20:00.
(Volunteers for poster-sticking will do so around this time.)
2. At 21:00, people gather at the designated spot in Majestic, bringing along
with them necessities such as food, water, and community spirit. There
will be further performances, video projections (if possible), songs, and other
such activities there.
3. This will go on till 23:00, when people will disperse in their vehicles
(pooling as much as possible), in public transport, tempos (which are currently
being investigated), etc.

I've always had an intense dislike for pink, "red" being a favourite but
this post is not about my colour preferences. My last blog post on women being assaulted and the
Sita Sene, elicted a response on irc from HBD that a women's gang already exists.
Calling themselves the Gulabi Gang, these women form
a co-operative of sorts to help suppressed women like
themselves in UttarPradesh. Back home, our local chakkiwala is from UP so I
must ask his wife about the GulabiGang. Gosh, the video with lathi-wielding
lessons are cool but someone should teach these women better self-defence
techniques, especially sans weapons. Women can but its inconvenient to walk
around with a lathi always.... but I digress. If the lathi delivers results for
them, it stays

Moving south, as if the assault on the MLA's daughter was not enough, now
the RamaSene plans to send
hooligans to spy on
Bangaloreans on 14feb. These thugs will be armed with turmeric (yeah in
their excitement the culture-vultures forgot the difference between kumkum and turmeric) and anyone found
celebrating Valentine's day, would be forced to marry each other. Huh?....right
there on the road? So what will the sene-thug do if they find : two men are
holding hands, a brother and sister are holding hands, two women are holding
hands or an already married couple are holding hands? ...Erm... Will they be
forced to apply kumkum turmeric and marry each other? On a pedantic
note, between two men holding hands, which man gets to be the man(?), since its
usual practice for a man to apply the kumkum on the woman's forehead. Now the
Taliban-Sene has to use
this body part (instead of brawn) to realise that the religion they (mis)use does not
discriminate .... Nature is cruel, but ..wait, isnt nature feminine...?...
so its all the loose woman's fault. Yeah, right !!

Renuka Chowdhary's threat to send roses to Muthalik on a day which very few
celebrate was too simple so Nisha thinks he needs pink
chaddis and if you are reading this, spread this message, by blogging,
tweeting, etc.. and do your bit.

<Update> Since the Alternate Law
Forum office in Bangalore was flooded they have requested that
contributions be sent directly to the Taliban-Sene addressed to : Pramod
Muthalik, Sri Rama Sene Chief, #11, Behind New Bus Stand, Gokhul Road, Near
Lakshmi Park, HUBLI - Karnataka. </Update>

I'd rather see the police and judiciary react with more spine and keep these
criminals behind bars but heck that seems like a remote possibility in India.
These goons have never been to temples or noticed the idols of Durga and Kali,
each of who carries multiple weapons and are especially known for their
war-like ferocious nature. Someone should enroll these jokers for literature
and history lessons and parcel them a copy of the Kamasutra with tickets to
Khajuraho in MadhyaPradesh so they can get better acquainted with the real
Indian culture. On the other hand, the truth about Vatsyayana being an
A(ryan)merican Westerner out to corrupt the pure bharatiya nari (indian woman)
might be revealed now.

Indian women are indeed blessed !! We now have a convict of the
1993 Bombay
blasts contesting elections for a parliament membership, who opines that
every Indian woman should give up her identity and take her husbands name after
marriage. Pearl's of wisdom indeed ... from a man who has had multiple
adulterous relationships whilst being married (thrice if you must know), an
ex-drug addict who never bothered to care for his young daughter Trishala or
wife Richa Sharma, both of whom were conveniently abandoned although he knew
for years that Richa suffered from cancer. Morally inspiring for all those
women in his life who hanker for dutt (pun intended) lastname, provided they
manage to stick around dutt long.

Dutt may have munnabhai'ed the media and even ruffled Renuka Chowdhary's
feather's, but it was definitely not enough masala for the media spotlight to
dwell on him for long. The confused-plastic-faced-ac(h)tor-wannabe-politician
was quickly upstarted by the street-thugs "Shri Rama Sene" in Karnataka.
India now has its very own homegrown wannabe "Taliban-Sene" who
orchestrated and videotaped the molestation and attack of
women in Mangalore in the name of god.
Apparently physical violence and a public molestation of women is the easiest
way to be in the news. Tsk-Tsk ...dutt's what happens if you wash Pri(vate)ya
Dutt(y) linen in public, Sanju baba. Politics is gonna be a steep learning
curve for you. If the Muthalik-meets-Dutt scenario had occurred some years ago,
how many times would Dutt have been married off on Valentine's day ??

All in a Go(o)d days work, given that Indian politicians have certainly run
out of issues to solve in the run up to elections, where the mastermind of the
Mangalore attacks is known but yet is allowed to abscond. Targeting 49% of
your population is good enough to get eye-balls, never mind that politicians
dont have the balls to address important issues like eradicating corruption,
ensuring proper supply of electricity, proper public infrastructure, good
primary education, water and so many other social issues which jostle for
attention...but none of these silly issues are as important as women visiting a
pub.

Any woman who visits a pub instead of making rotis at home, feeding her
husband and pressing his tired legs at night, is fit to be called a prostitute
according to the Rama Sene while enlightened souls (in the NCW too) went a bit
further to justify the attacks in the name of stemming immoral activity in the
Mangalore pub. Since the police and judiciary have outsourced their work to
local thugs and hooligans its high time the government stopped wasting the
tax-payee's money on maintaining a police force and judiciary, both of who
cannot ensure law and order nor keep justice. Well if India can be the
outsourcing manna for the world why cant we outsource the police's work to
these self-appointed
custodians of Indian culture ?!? Think of the Tax benefits!!

Fundamentalist Hindu
bigots == fanatical Islamic radicals ?! If there is a logic to the methodical
madness being unleashed across each state one has to give credit to their
inspirational idol, the Taliban. Nothing less will do. If the ShivSena and MNS
in Maharashtra can rail and rant against the South Indians and then drive away
the North Indians, then why should the
wannabe-power-grabbing-southern-politician be left behind. He can jump onto the
"lets control the corrupt Indian woman" bandwagon which is a problem that has
taken on global hues today, with gullible Indian woman being lured by the
foreign hand... what sacrilege!!

Mytholog(icall)y

Not to be left behind, some women feel they should form a Sita
Sene to counter the increasing attacks on women and the debate on "Indian
culture" is ferociously raging on the idiot box and in the print media. Every
person I have met thus far, has an opinion (or two or three) by which time my
grey cells stop parsing the string "indian culture" correctly. The word
"culture" tickles my phunny bone (and I've been told I have f3w of those)
enough to delve into some mythology since religion is the thread that binds
retrograde chauvinists across the world masking their selfish desire for
control and power.

The Sri Rama Sene is a fringe element. But lurking under the skin of many
men, irrespective of caste or community, is a similar view of what women should
and should not do. Men fear women’s autonomy, for, it challenges their power.
And they fear women’s sexuality even more. Hence, the desire of fundamentalists
of all types to control women’s sexuality.

Is that why every river has a feminine name and Earth is called MotherEarth
and the country is called motherland and not FatherEarth and Fatherland
respectively !? Culture-vultures never miss an opportunity to letch on
mytholog(ical)y to explain that women should be frozen into this ice cube of
patriarchy, certainly fit to be seen and admired, but she can never stir or
voice herself.

Were the women of yore beautiful icy figurines trapped in an ice cube?

Not Sita, Rama's wife, who left her husband when
he asked her for an "agnipariksha" (trial by fire) to prove her chastity. She
epitomises the courage (that many Indian women lack) of leaving her twin sons
with her husband Rama and returning to her mother's (Earth) after around 20+
years of marriage.

Draupadi practised polyandry, perhaps the only
woman with 5 husbands at a time when it was more common for men to practise
polygamy. She is the only woman in mythology over whom a war, the Mahabharata,
was fought to avenge an insult to her. In that epic, she refused to tie her
hair until her insult was avenged.

Mirabai had no compunctions about
leaving her husband for Krishna and would the brainless religious
fundamentalist idiot dare to brek the idols in the Radha-Krishna temples(?),
since Radha was never married to Krishna and left her husband for Krishna. Its
called adultery in English, but for millions of Indians the name
Radha-Krishna is synonymous with love, bhakti and devotion.

Wendy
surmises the position of women in Vedic literature, especially the
Chandayoga Upanishad where Jabala asks her son to take her name so he calls
himself "Satyakama Jabala (the son of Jabala)". Interestingly, dutt (pun
intended) may have been completely missed instances in Indian mythology where
the children take on the mothers name and not that of the father (who was
sometimes unknown, or got just a passing reference....).

Gowriputra (son of Gowri, an epithet for Parvati, Ganesha's mother who is
supposed to have sprang from the scurf of her body) ;

Krishna was called "Devakiputra" (son of Devaki) ;

Skanda, one born of 6 mothers ;

Pandavas were called Kuntiputra's ; ... so on...

The Sene has surely not seen this aspect of Hinduism. Moving on to the
men who are commonly addressed with the prefix Sri/Shri which is the
feminine subjunctive in Sanskrit. It is also an epithet for
Lakshmi whose husband (Vishnu) is commonly referred to as
"Lakshmipati/Shripati" (the husband of Lakshmi) as is Sitapati (Husband of
Sita).

Shiva's epithet is "Umapati", the husband of Parvati or Shakti (the female
energy) without whom he is considered to be a shava (corpse). Are there
instances of Parvati/Shakti being addressed as "Shivapatni"? Not that I know
of.

There may be more but I am not inclined to dig out lores of yore when I can
blithely snore away the night, sans the pita-pati (pun wholly intended).