A Carpet of Leaves

Mitzvahs don’t need to be supersized in order to count.

Thon, the largest student-run charitable organization in the world, is a year-long fundraiser run by Penn State Students. It benefits the Four Diamonds Fund which provides money for: cancer research and pediatric patients and has raised over 100 million dollars since its 1977 inception.

My son, Ian, is a freshman at Penn State, and he went door to door collecting for Thon in November. Ian discussed Thon at our Thanksgiving celebration, and after he stated that Thon raised over 12 million dollars last year, a family friend exclaimed: “Wow! That is one big mitzvah!”

My son said, “You mean twelve million mitzvahs.”

The friend was confused, but I understood exactly what my son meant. Every family has its stories, and one of our favorites concerns my paternal grandfather, Benjamin Ford, and the “carpet of leaves.” Papa Ben was born in Russia. His family was extremely poor, and his mother, Jenny, once wept because they could not afford a rug to cover the worn floorboards in their front living area. My grandfather (who was about eight at the time), knew how much his mother loved the colors of Autumn, and he secretly gathered up hundreds of the most beautiful, golden leaves he could find. He spread them carefully over the floor to cover the shabby spots. His mother came home to find, as she put it, this “magical carpet of leaves.”

Papa Ben knew that the leaves could not remain on the floor. He and his mother picked them up, put them in a bag and he assumed she would spill them back outside.

My grandfather came to this country at the age of 19. A cousin gave him a job and a kitchen floor to sleep on. Papa Ben taught himself English and obtained a high school degree. He sent hundreds of small money orders to his now twice-widowed mother in the hopes that she would come to America along with his two younger half-brothers, Joe and Saul.

Papa Ben’s hopes were finally fulfilled, and as he helped his family settle into an apartment, he found a small drawstring bag filled with what looked like dirt. He jokingly asked his mother, Jenny, if she had brought Russian soil with her so as not to be homesick. Jenny explained that the bag contained remains of the leaves he spread out on the floor all those years ago.

“This bag is filled with love. It wasn’t just one mitzvah. It was hundreds.”

My grandfather was shocked. “Why did that mean so much to you? It was just one little mitzvah!”

“This bag is filled with love,” she replied. “There were hundreds of leaves! It wasn’t just one mitzvah. It was hundreds.”

We live in a world where thoughts and actions are often considered of little value unless they are huge, costly and over-the-top. In other words, supersized. Our cars and homes are bigger. Starbucks coffee has gone from tall to grande to venti to trenta. Celebrities stage million dollar weddings for television and we are so impressed. (The only thing that could use a little supersizing these days is airline seats.)

Perhaps this is one of the reasons why the world seems to get ruder with each passing year. Life’s pace is too fast and the importance of small kindnesses is grossly overlooked.

Not only do our minds clog as we seek out the “supersized” moment, we also over-think when it comes to mitzvahs. We hesitate before doing a mitzvah because we over-analyze what sort of impact it might or might not have. Will our mitzvah be misunderstood, appreciated or considered “perfect” enough? Even a small mitzvah can inspire others to act kindly or lead to something unexpectedly spectacular, but it is not diminished if it remains a stand alone act.

Every money order of rubles and kopecks that my grandfather sent to Russia was a mitzvah in and of itself and need have gone no further to have meaning. Still, he was able to bring his family to America. His brother, Saul, never married and joined the Merchant Marines.

His other brother, my Uncle Joe (along with my Uncle Abe Shapiro), went on to become one of the founders of Brandeis University.

It was Maimonides who wrote:

A person must see himself and the world as equally balanced on two ends of the scale; by doing one good deed, he tips the scale and brings for himself and the entire world redemption and salvation. Maimonides, Laws of Repentance 3:4.

Nowhere does Maimonides specify that the good deed must be supersized to “tip the scales.”

My son understands that the importance of Thon lies not simply in the amount of the final check, but in the willingness of thousands of donors and frenetic, exhausted students to give at least a small part of themselves. Each individual mitzvah that contributes to Thon is no less important than the end result.

The beauty of the mitzvah is that it takes us out of ourselves and connects us with the world; even if it is as simple as a little boy’s carpet of leaves.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 12

(9)
Gary Tolchinsky,
December 24, 2013 6:04 PM

Advice on Overanalyzing?:)

This is a great article and I particularly identified with thepoint about "hesitating before doing a mitzvah because weover-analyze what sort of impact it might or might not have".I've found that I have many ideas how to achieve certain goals, but agonize over what's the best way to spendmy time. Do I give a class or write an aritcle or work on mysite: (quickplug:)www.jewishspiritualresponse.org....oranother idea that I thought of relating to Jewish education? It seems logical to want to focus energy where it will make the most difference, but it also can cause procrastination and passing up some mitzvahs right in front of me because I don't want to get distracted by the "big picture"Maybe this approach is pretty good, but the fact that theabout statement in your article hit home makes me wonder if Icould see things in a different way. Any ideas:).....Gary

Laura Deutsch,
December 25, 2013 1:51 PM

How to avoid procrastination

Gary: It sounds like you do a lot and give a lot. I'm not sure what the answer is. Maybe it's trying to find a balance between being goal-oriented/having a plan and then just letting the heart flow free in a spontaneous act. How that balance is reached is tricky. I know that I certainly have not mastered it. Perhaps the first step is realizing that we need to have that balance and then spread our time between acts that are planned and not planned.I'm glad that you enjoyed my article! Thanks for your comments!

lauraford2@yahoo.com

Gary Tolchinsky,
January 1, 2014 6:54 AM

Thanks for the advice!

Appreciate your helpful comments. Execution is usually the hardpart of good ideas, but it's a start:) Thanks again......Gary

(8)
Adam B,
December 23, 2013 4:17 PM

Wonderful story

What an inspiring article! We truly do forget about the hardships that people endured generations ago, as the world has become a place where more and more people feel entitled. It's really the little things that count and mean the most.

Laura Deutsch,
December 24, 2013 3:51 PM

Thanks for the wonderful comments!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the article. Perhaps it comes at a good time when we all prepare to make our New Year resolutions that we tend to keep for all of five minutes... Let's remember the importance of the small kindnesses. I try to remind myself of that daily.

(7)
Joy Levy,
December 23, 2013 3:39 PM

Carpet Of Leaves is a fabulous article!

I was so impressed by Laura Deutsch's "A Carpet of Leaves". What a wonderful story about her amazing grandfather, and how true it is that every mitzvah has the potential to have far reaching consequences. I hope Ms. Deutsch continues to write and inspire her readers.

(6)
Lauren M,
December 23, 2013 7:12 AM

Awesome article

I have been watching TV the past few days and I noticed the lifestyles on reality TV are for a few people but majority of people dont live that way. I wish there was a reality show of how streetkids live daily and the real issues people face.
Thank you for this article.

(5)
Marilyn,
December 23, 2013 12:14 AM

Wonderful article - well written and so meaningful!

(4)
Janny,
December 22, 2013 10:29 PM

Memory is the most precious ..if goodness and kindness prevail

Beautiful article reflecting wisdom and kindness

(3)
CharlieB,
December 22, 2013 7:01 PM

Reminders are precious

Thank you for the reminder that it takes individual efforts to build project, a building, a kind and caring society. I do the small mitzvot but sometimes wonder if it is worth it. Now I know. Thank you.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!