For the Nick Russo-esque dads of the world, it's music gifts all the way. How about a vintage — or vintage-inspired — T-shirt featuring his favorite band? Or an old photo of one of his favorite musicians? Maybe a record player that hooks up to his computer so he can blast his favorite old-timey tunes on some high-tech speakers? Then again, maybe a nice pair of headphones is best. Let him keep those retro beats to himself.

A new set of tools is probably the last thing your do-it-yourself handy-dad needs, but what dad's inner Tim Taylor wouldn't appreciate a suitcase that converts into a barbecue grill? Or a new Mophie in hot-rod-red? More power! Or how about a manly guide to cool stuff like taxidermy, old cars, vintage tools, and $24,000 beer cans? You know, something he can talk about with the neighbor behind the fence.

Feed your dad's Dick Solomon-esque ego with a gift that will make him feel like the High Commander he thinks he is. A cheesy, but sweet, World's Greatest Dad mug, a journal where he can write down his life story, a mirror so he can spend all day gazing at himself, or a diabolical brain teaser that he will either solve easily — making him even more insufferable — or struggle with for weeks, eventually going mad, making it a gift for both of you!

No father loves movies as much as Jay Sherman, but there isn't a dad alive who wouldn't be down with a 3-D home theater projector, maybe with a little vintage-inspired popcorn maker for snacking. The new Roku Streaming Stick gives access to literally thousands of movies, enough to keep him entertained for years. Or you could go the easy route with a movie theater gift card. Just don't be surprised if he drags you to some horrible movie you really don't want to see. If you go gift card, you're kind of obligated.

Dads put up with a lot. Maybe not Urkle-level a lot, but still. Sometimes they just want to relax. How about an electric back and shoulder massager, or a sleep mask that tells people "Go away. I'm busy." And for those times when napping and massages are not an option, a brightly colored Dammit Doll, so he can keep his cool by beating out his frustrations on a tabletop. They really are crazy-effective.

A helmet serving dish for chips and nuts might seem cheesy, but sports-fanatic dads like Hayden Fox live for that kind of stuff. Of course, a watch is always a good, sporty dad gift too. And no dad ever complained about getting a new pair of New Balances. It's a thing. There's no fighting it. At least this way you can put him in some cool, limited edition ones.

Poor Marshall. Janet kept that whole family on a TIGHT dietary leash. But even crunchy, ex-hippie dads need a cheat every once in a while, like some handmade salted caramels (These things are seriously so good!). At the same time, Marshall was always such a tinkerer dad, he, and dads like him, would probably get a kick out of making his own beer. And there isn't a dad alive, tinkerer or not, who wouldn't appreciate a good pocket multi tool.

A vintage Rolex watch would be a slam dunk for a fancy-pants dad like Maxwell Sheffield. Or, on the more economical end of the spectrum, a ship-shaped desk organizer or a set of whiskey stones would probably be big hits as well. Then again, why not go for something a little bit silly like a liquor bottle hidden inside a book? Hey, even a highbrow guy like Maxwell Sheffield appreciates a little lowbrow every once in a while (Hello, Nanny Fine).

The great thing about having a foodie dad like Angela's is that any gift for him is really a gift for you too, since you just know you've got some awesome homemade meals coming your way. To a chef, a good kitchen knife is wonderful, beautiful thing. Kitchen tools in general — they love them all. Why not get him a new grill set or a manly denim apron? Of course, every chef needs a good oven mitt. And no gourmet meal is complete without a good bottle of wine.

Darkwing was all about the gadgets. And, really, what dad doesn't love a good piece of tech? Darkwing in particular would have been all over this audio-responsive portable light show from JBL — you know, for his big entrances. And an adjustable-lens camera that hooks onto the back of his smartphone would have been great for stakeouts and gathering evidence. But even a low-fi tech toy can still make a great gift. A rubber egg-shaped iPhone 5 sound amplifier is cool because it's so low-tech, and nothing says, "Let's get dangerous[ly organized]," like a piranha cord organizer.

Your dad may not have Uncle Jesse's hair, but a hair-growth laser light device and some body-building hair gel could help him get there. And nothing says, "Have mercy!" like a black motorcycle jacket and a cool pair of sunglasses.

Of course, you can't forget about Uncle Joey! A wacky dad like Joey Gladstone would probably appreciate anything a little off and silly, from printed socks and a colorful dopp kit, to a Hawiian shirt and a wall-mounted dinosaur head. Cut it out, indeed!

Charlie Salinger didn't choose to be a dad to four kids. It just sort of happened. A custom motorcycle would really be a nice way to say, "You gave up a lot for me and I really appreciate it," but sometimes all dads really want is freedom from making decisions and a moment to themselves to fantasize about life on a beach somewhere.

Remember Uncle Phil??!! God, he was perfect. The quintessential dad: a little gruff on the outside, but loving and cuddly on the inside. For the Uncle Phils of the world, Father's Day is all about traditional gifts: ties, cufflinks, and maybe a nice case to carry them in on business trips.