Pulse: Chatter: City Pride: Fight of the Century

A few months back, Milwaukee pulled a Philly and erected a statue in honor of the famous fictitious hero who best embodies the spirit of that city: Arthur Fonzarelli. But while Wisconsin may lay claim to the King of Cool, we’re happy to pit our Italian Stallion against the Bronze Fonz in a fight to the finish for cultural superiority. (Ding!) — Victor Fiorillo

Round 1 HeightThe Fonz: 5’6”. Rocky: 12’10”.Winner: The Fonz. Bigger is almost always better when it comes to statues, but Milwaukee gets points for a life-size Fonzie who’s photo-op friendly. In shots with the Rock, your head is in his crotch.Round 2 WeightThe Fonz: 250 lbs. Rocky: 1,300 lbs.Winner: Rocky. About as unfair as Ivan Drago vs. Apollo Creed in Rocky IV. (RIP, Apollo.)

Round 3 Age The Fonz: Whippersnapper. Rocky: A quarter-century of wear and tear. Winner: Rocky. In art, as in celluloid, you don’t get old … you get classic.

Round 4 LocationThe Fonz: Outside a chain brewpub in downtown Milwaukee. Rocky: The Art Museum steps. Then the Spectrum. Then the Art Museum steps. Then an Art Museum closet. And now, Eakins Oval, just off the Art Museum steps.Winner: Rocky. Even though the hubbub over his location shows how silly Philadelphians can get, we still only lose this one if we put him outside an Applebee’s.

Round 5 Character The Fonz: A popular greaser in 1950s Wisconsin eventually finds success as a co-owner at the hoppin’ Arnold’s Diner while juggling countless girlfriends, all hot. Rocky: An ugly, grimy boxer in an ugly, grimy city with an ugly, pet-store-smelling girlfriend claims the World Heavyweight belt. Winner: Close call here. The Fonz’s achievements are more desirable — but everyone loves an underdog. Rocky wins.

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