Christmas Inside Us All

Things have been rough lately, but the night is darkest just before the dawn.
I've been looking for a job for a few months as well, but I'm confident I'll find one after the new year. Hope and happiness is what keeps us
going, and we can't afford to lose that.

Redneck, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and will keep you in prayer for a wonderful New Year. Here's one back to you:

SIMPLE WHITE ENVELOPE

It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through
the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it- the overspending, the
frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma- the gifts given in desperation because you
couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth. I reached for something special just for
Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended

Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to
our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was
wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not
afford.

Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with
false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, 'I wish just one of them
could have won,' he said. 'They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.' Mike loved kids -- all
kids -- and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse.

That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear
and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what
I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each
Christmas, I followed the tradition --one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of
elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas.
It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning, and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as
their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there. You see,
we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve
found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had
placed an envelop e on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around
the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with
us.

May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the season, and the true Christmas spirit this year and always. God Bless! -- pass this along to
those friends and loved

the most heartfelt thing i have read on ats yet. I am glad that you and your family understand that material possessions dont make an occassion
special. It is the love between the individuals which make it priceless.

What is the point of being surrounded by fake smiles and new shiny things from the store which costs a month's pay but after two weeks sit in a
corner gathering dust. I am glad you have taken this as an opportunity to teach your children exactly that. I hope others do the very same.

We too are not celebrating Christmas this year by an exchange of gifts but plan to spend the day at a nice campsite sharing home made sandwiches.

you know the true meaning of this time. Things are tough and they will get worse before they get better, but always know, they WILL get better. You
have shelter, and the love of family. There is no greater gift than love. I not only think you and your family will be ok, I know it in my heart.
The one upstairs is looking out for all of us, but he has a bunch on his plate. Don't be to proud or afraid to ask for help. It will always be
there for you when you need it. Just remember where it really came from. Share the gift of love with your family. There will be more money and
stuff, but true friends and family are a gift from God.

I stopped Xmas in 1990, when the woman I loved went off to get married to someone else. Having no family, and few friends, I quit decorations, tree,
stupid holiday specials, dinner with ANYONE'S relatives- I got sick of feeling like some bum who has to "guilt" people into inviting me.

The 25th will come and go like any other day, with assorted weather, me banging away on some 3d model or playing a computer game, occasional bathroom
visits, a nap at some point, and my usual badly cooked dinner. New years as well. Same with New Years. Only thing that I'll do is make sure the
computer's up to date when it turns into 2009.

I have been on disability for a while.... Making me oh so attractive to the women that infest the planet. Suicide crosses my mind every year- and this
time, I am darned close.

Yes, Network Dude stated it best. You need to get out to nature and enjoy what we most take for granted. The beauty of nature. I myself have also been
consumed by everything around which distracts us from truth.

As for the woman, What better gift can you ask for? I want to strangle my wife 99% of the time. My wife claims I'm always miserable but in my eyes I
have a different Point of View. I love and enjoy life. I just hate everyone and everything in it.

Hang in there brother.The suicide thing aint worth it. I like to know what may have been next and am just curious enough to go till the end to find
out. Seriously though,Be strong. You need to awaken what lies within you and stop letting the negativity engulf you. Think positve feel positive and
crush negativity in the middle of thought. You will be in our prayers. Peace and GOD Bless.

wow great post my friend, hits you very hard when you read how you feel yourself from a different person, i wish you nothing but good luck in the next
year and hope those around you, appreciate you for what you are and not the material things that surround you. You sound a good natured soul just from
your poetic writing and the way you express your feelings merry chrimbo to you and all those close top respect, Brett ; )

Hell, any child who can escape the cesspool we call popular culture to honestly say that it doesn't matter how little and insignificant their
Christmas is in material possessions is an intelligent person.

I wouldn't let your stepfather get to you. You've managed to hold a roof over your head, put food in your home, provide your children with a safe
and clean environment, find and settle down with someone you love, and come to terms with your 'crazy ideas' with how badly we're all being screwed
over in an economic game where the deck is stacked against us.

That's not my definition of a failure. My definition of a failure is people who have to put down others to prop up their own egos and people who put
value on valueless material possessions.

This isn't your fault. Unfortunately most of us have gone through this or are going to go through this in the near future. We all better just get
used to it and realize what truly is important.

I am saddened that your mother and stepfather can't see past the externals to the really good spirit that we get to see at ATS.

I don't agree with you about many of the topics here, but I look forward to your posts because they are invariably eloquent, insightful, and
genuinely human. Thanks for sharing this, and I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas.

Originally posted by TheRedneckMerry Christmas to each and every one who reads this. May you all find that inner happiness and joy that exists within you. And may the new
year bring you peace and comfort in all you do, and success in all you attempt.

And you too.

It is right it should be so;
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.

Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.

Everyone I know, every guy that is, is sick to death of Christmas already & will be glad when the whole thing is over. I know so many people who, like
you & I, will be opting out of the whole thing on the 25th altogether. So take some little comfort in the sure knowledge that you're not the only
person who'll have a dose of the blues when the big day comes.

If you are having bad thoughts & find yourself getting to the end of your tether, please seek advice from a friend, neighbour or health professional.
If you can't get hold of anyone there may be someone at the Samaritans who can help you talk through how you feel. And many of us will be here on the
25th so if nothing else you can dive in here & we'll keep you company, even though the distances between us are so huge there's many of us in the
same boat as you. So chin up, matey.

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Redneck that really was a most beautiful, well presented post & could've brought a tear to a glass eye. A huge privilege to read your thoughts. I
hope you & yours enjoy the holidays very much.

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Christmas was never really celebrated in this way, until comparatively recently when the consumer led Christmas kicked off in the 1950's. My Mam had
the great good sense to be born in London in 1939, just a few months before the start of WW2. Her first Christmas was spent on board a train
evacuating her & my Granny up to Scotland, a train which had to park up in a railway tunnel at one point to avoid German bombers. Subsequent years
were just as grim, no-one had two pennies to rub together & food rationing in the UK didn't end properly until the late 1940's.

Both Mam & Granny have long since slipped the surly, unfortunately. But I'll be thinking of both on Christmas Day & remembering the privations they
suffered. Even in this dreadful economic turmoil ours is still such a blessed generation in so many ways & for that I'm hugely grateful to "him
upstairs".

I am sorry to be a downer... Your post was beautiful, although a trigger reminding me how little I, and some others, feel we have this time of year...
This time of year, truly is so cold and sad for many people.

Wish my family didn't move away from me...

Wish the one I love could find peace in himself, and love me again, instead of someone else...

Wish my daughter was able to understand English, much less Christmas, and happiness in general...

Well, I can identify with the cold home thing. Even with a fireplace, I find that it creates more wind/draft than warmth.

You're alive on Christmas, and you have all of the necessities that you need to continue living.

Those people that spent $300 on that Playstation 3, or $1000 on a computer, or $3000 on a plasma TV - you have the same necessities they have, except
you're $4300 richer.

People spend money they don't have on things they don't need. You don't need to follow their moronic path to be happy.

I don't know your situation, but if you have faith and believe something will happen, it will happen. That's why you need to get the negative
thoughts out of your head, because that is all that will happen.

I am not a religious person, but I am a firm believer in your thoughts determining your future.

Have faith and patience that someone better will come along and love you. Have faith and patience that your daughter will understand English, the real
meaning of Christmas, and happiness. And have faith and patience that Summer isn't really a dreadful six months away... (sorry, joke)

Define how any of this is worth anything, to anyone who has suffered the loss of love from other human beings?

Sometimes, 'continuing living' sounds a little less exciting to others.

Face it, things like Christmas really are a reminder to some of what they have had, and what they have lost. Sure, being greatful about what one still
has is geat, but there is only so much punishment a human can take.

Hell, I think I heard once that bars/pubs are often VERY full and profitable this time of year! .... I can't imagine why!

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