Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I think I'm going to need a shower after reading this. Up in Canada, police are looking for four men who, wait for it, are believed to have been approaching people, stealing from them, and squirting fecal matter on them through a water bottle.

There have been at least four such thefts since last Friday, all following a virtually identical pattern.

The perpetrators, who were carrying squeeze bottles filled with feces, would follow people who were making cash withdrawals from ATMs or banks at various locations in downtown Toronto, police said Friday. The suspects would squirt feces on their victims, and then inform them of the mess on their clothing.

The offenders would help clean it off, stealing the victims' cash in the process, said Const. Tony Vella. At least four suspects were involved in most of the thefts, he said.

"This is definitely unique," he said. "When I first saw this, it was obviously shocking that feces was used as a distraction here."

Considering how much these crap-bandits have to smell, I don't think the police should have too much difficulty apprehending them. Here's a picture of one of the suspects: