(examines black nailpolish)Steve:Yeah, you could just grab em by the nose and.. wait, you're that guy from the telly. Rockstar INXS. Mate, that's COOL!

(plays air guitar, grins)

Lukas:Um, it's Supernova. Oh, dude, sorry to hear you were eaten by a stingray. Way to fuckin' work a crowd.

(applies eyeliner)

Steve:Well, to be fair dinkum mate, it was pretty bloody stupid. And it didn't eat me mate, it stung me. Stingrays use their poison-coated barb to fend off DANGEROUS predators like sharks. Anyway, now me family's up shit-creek and I'm dead. What's that? You wearin' makeup?You a bloody sheila or somethin'?

(laughs, and slaps Lukas hard on the back)

Lukas: Jesus Fucking Christ, I'm an artist, a performer.. It's what they expect from me.

You know what that's like? These days, no-one notices you unless you have a gimmick. You end up becoming something you know you're not. Fuck. Before you know it, you forget who you really were in the first place.

(thinks of high school science class, becomes increasingly agitated, begins to pick off black nailpolish)Steve:Come here, little guy. You look like you need a bloody hug from the Croc Hunter!

* RockStar website says that Lukas has been described as somewhere between Jeff Buckley and Freddie Mercury. So wait, doesn't that make him, um, dead? So, if the internet is correct, and if God really does manage Heaven, then this conversation has probably already happened.

About a billion years ago, all of the continents came together forming a super continent called Pangea. An ice age caused the whole land mass to ice over, destroying all terrestrial life. After the ice melted, terrestrial life re-evolved from sea creatures. It is not known why the earth's core is hot, but changing thickness of the crust indicates a constant cooling, which indicates that the heat was created at the beginning of the earth's formation. And that, kids, is why we have Christmas.