When I was little, I would write letters to Santa and I remember one time he wrote me back. But these are the days of text messages, instant messaging, Facebook, and e-mail.

Who needs to write Santa a letter anymore? Honestly, after paying for a card and stamps to send it all the way to the North Pole, isn’t it more practical to send an e-mail? It saves money and for those who want to save the environment it saves trees. In today’s world it just doesn’t seem practical to write letters to Santa, but you know what. I don’t really care. I am going to write him one any way because a letter holds more sentimental value than an electronic message.

Think about it, you have to think about what you are going to say because you don’t have a backspace button.

Plus you have to concentrate on making your handwriting perfectly legible. And, although this letter will be typed up in the paper, the handwritten copy is on its way up to Santa’s Workshop. So, here is my letter to Santa: Dear Santa, It’s Dec. 21 and Christmas is only a couple days away. I bet you’re busy getting everything ready for your hectic night. I hope the reindeer aren’t over worked because I’d hate for PETA to shut you down. Be sure to keep them warm and well fed and tell them you love them so they don’t get their feelings hurt. And don’t show favoritism. I know how much attention Rudolf gets but they all work hard every Christmas Eve so please treat them equally.

How are the elves doing? Are they getting enough cookie and milk breaks? We don’t want another union forming. Are you paying more than minimum wage and have good medical coverage? We don’t want the ACLU to step in and say you’re mistreating your employees.

You’re lucky that you are in the North Pole and not in America because if you were, the government would tax your business and they would probably say you’re a monopoly so they would try to break you up and tax you again. And you’d have to deal with the ObamaCare.

I’m glad that your business can escape the tax burden. Many of our corporations are following your example and going overseas so they won’t be taxed to death.

I’m sure you’re tired of people saying that you don’t exist. You’re such a jolly person and I don’t want you to be sad because people say you don’t exist. But you know what? They say the Loch Ness Monster doesn’t exist but we all know in our hearts that Nessy is real! The people who don’t believe in you are just jealous and want to be haters. But even if they say you aren’t real, remember you are still on their minds!

I look forward to seeing you in a few days. Don’t ever get rid of your sleigh! I know you may want to change with the times to be more efficient, but you don’t want to do that. If you wanted to try flying in a plane to get to all your houses, you won’t be so jolly anymore. The TSA will take away all your Christmas Joy because it’s a “security threat” and you’ll turn into Mr. Scrooge.

You know, I worry about you Santa. I really do. You come down people’s chimneys and well, they could be armed so I think you should get a bullet proof vest just in case. And I think you should keep an eye on Homeland Security too. Have you already gotten a green card? You’re going to be flying around our whole country and I know you won’t have any problems getting in, but I don’t want you to do it illegally.

When you are handling the presents, please be careful not to get a paper cut. I know that you must know about the vampire epidemic that’s been spreading. I don’t want you bitten by a vampire unless it’s Bela Lugosi, not Robert Pattinson because I don’t want you turning into a wimp.

You know what Santa, you are a very brave man. And I admire that. You read a long list of names… twice! Congress can’t even read a bill one complete time and check the naughty and nice parts of it! You take the time to care about the people you visit. And you trust them not to poison you with the food that they put out for you.

I know most people probably write you to tell you what they want for Christmas. But I already have everything I want. I have a loving and supportive family, crazy friends who always have my back, and a good education and job. What more do I need? Maybe to meet my idol Robert Englund but that would be pushing it. All I want from you on Christmas is to know that you are safe and ready to do it all again next year. I thank you for everything that you do for the world and I hope you keep doing it! Merry Christmas Santa! Sincerely, Jessica Brown Winder, Ga.

Jessica Brown is the staff photographer for the Barrow Journal. You can reach her at jessica@picsbyjessica.com.

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