Your Eight-Year-Old Son Is Not a Good Choice for Designated Driver

There are so many reasons to have kids! One of the not-great reasons is the best is probably "so you have someone to drive when you're wasted." Like Billy Joe Madden, who slept off a bender while his 8-year-old son drove his truck. On a highway. From Mississippi to Dallas.

Madden, 28, resident of Hattiesburg, Miss., was pulled over—well, technically his son was pulled over—at around 6:30 a.m. on Saturday on I-12 in Louisiana after state troopers received a call "from a concerned motorist." (The eight-year-old was not, reportedly, a very good driver.)

"Troopers determined that the driver was an eight-year-old with his four-year-old sister in the rear seat and their father, Billy Joe Madden, 28, of Hattiesburg, Miss., in the passenger seat," said a statement from Matey.

According to police, Madden was intoxicated and sleeping in the the truck while his son drove the truck from Mississippi to Dallas, Texas.

The kids were handed off to Child Protective Services, where they will be picked up by a family member, who is hopefully of age.

Um, hello, remember Britney Spears' "we're country" explanation of how her dad would let her drive as a child? This is standard uneducated-backwoods-redneck procedure. Some people are just ignorant morons who use their kids as designated drivers.