I didn't realize the ceremonies were for anyone but the people performing the union. The people are there to witness it but the ceremony is for those involved.

My marriage was for my wife and I. If I was actually concerned with what the people in the crowd considered I likely wouldn't have done it.

Take that with a grain of salt. I am agnostic and really don't do anything to appease my spiritual side. The wedding was a formal commitment to my wife, but we also worded it so that is applied to OUR relationship (there was no commitment of fidelity for example)