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Topic : 12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

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Created on : Friday, September 19, 2008, 05:26:33 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Original Air Date: 09/24/08) Do you have a friend or relative whom you've lost all contact with or have never even met? While you may dream about a reunion being a great and healing experience, reconciliation could also cause more heartache than you expect. Catherine was raised by her mother, never knowing who or where her dad was. She recently became a mom, and her desire to find her biological dad became top priority. When she did locate him, was the reunion all that she expected? Next, Angel has been trying to reconnect with her twin sons, Tylor and Taylor, for almost 20 years. With the help of Troy Dunn, a professional locator and host of the WE TV show The Locator, her dreams came true. See how the boys react to reuniting with their biological mother. And, when an adoptive mother finds out her children are going to meet their biological mother, emotions can range from joy, to tension, to feeling threatened. Follow the journey of the twins' adoptive mother, Ruth, as she shares her experience of meeting Angel. Plus, the twins have never met their little sister face to face. Will this be the day? Then, Ricardo contacted Troy to help him find his brother, whom he had never met. Cameras follow their emotional first meeting, and find out the unexpected person who shows up. Have the siblings been able to maintain their relationship? And, if you're trying to find a long-lost loved one, you won't want to miss Troy's top tips for conducting your own search! Talk about the show here.

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Help Finding Long Lost Grandmother

Would all y'all please help find/contact my mother's mother &/or her second family while we are still able to communicate? Both Mom & I are computer novices & have tried unsuccessfully to use 'spam-type' offers to locate Lucy and members of her second family. Closest I ever came to seeing Grandma Lucy Forbes was photo in a book by Robert & Dolly Ward about Samoyed dogs printed in 1971. Mom & I are both breast cancer susvivors and I am currently fighting leukemia, type ALL-T, about half way through treatments. Mom's mother = Lucy Evans Forbes/ her second husband = John Forbes was Army Air Corps. during WWII and involved with aviation industry after WWII. He had son Roger with his first wife. According to book on Samoyeds, John & Lucy had a daughter, Patricia Forbes. Surprise to us :8-)) Info in book leads us to suspect that all their family was very involved with breeding & showing Samoyed dogs.

My mother & I are very anxious to offer Grandma's Lucy's family the choice of contacting/communicating/meeting the rest of the family should any of them so choose. Help Please!

Thank you for taking the time to read through our request. We Most Sincerely Appreciate any and all help!!

Looking for my long lost best friend

Dr. Phil, I am looking for my long lost best friend Rachel M. Mata. I grew up with her during high school and her family forced her to move to Texas and i haven't heard or seen her since. This has been about 17 years now. I dont remember much but i know that she lived on Lake Trail Drive near Bonnabel High School in Kenner, Louisiana. She used to date my cousin Chris until she moved away. I want more than anything to find her and just see how she is doing. Would someone please offer some help as to where i can start searching. I have tried paying people finder online and i get a list of about 100 names and i went through every one of them and called to try and see if any were her and had no success. I am willing to do anything possible to try and find her. Please help. Rachel if you watch the Dr. Phil Show pleaseeee get in touch with me. I miss you! Write to my email... sissyroo5974@yahoo.com

So happy for you.

I wanted to let people know what it was like to find my birthfamily. I found a half-sister through a adoption registry that was free. My birth mother had 5 children and me and another child was taken by children services due to neglect. I found my little sister and my 2 older brothers and my birthmother. It did not work out with my birthmother but, I am getting ready to leave this weekend on vacation with my family and my birth sibling's families. I just want people to know that you have to be mentally ready and physically ready for the reunion. My birthmother was in the total wrong when we were children, she wanted to party and such... When I called her, we talked, I was willing to give her a chance because people do change. Well she was totally in denial, and it hurt but, I accepted it and went on with my life and talk everyday to my newly found sister and my brother's.

Thank You,

FRECKLES

Hi freckles, I am so happy it all worked out well for you. Bye for now, lightpink

how to find adoptive siblings?

I watched todays show and find it intersting considering my father went through this and 3 weeks before he passed away he broke the news to my husband that he has a brother that his mom put up for adoption. My husband is 42 and finds out at the age of 38 who his father is (never met him) and finds out at the age of 40 he has a brother, I have done as much internet searching, and have gotten no where. His mother apparently has blocked this all out for she cannot remember if he was born in June or jly of 1967 or 1968. My question is.... How can a mother forget??? I can tell you every detail of my sons births and why would she hide this for so long? Please if anyone has any info on how I woukd go about this please I need help.

What next...

My story is so long and painful most couldn't imagine. I will try my best to keep it short. I was 19 when I got pregnant for the first time. I thought I was with a great guy at first but that changed very quickly after we moved into the basement of his parents house. It was the worst move I ever made. I was trapped and under constant surveillance. When I got pregnant it made me sick to think of the guy as a father. He was abusive, mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. I told him that I wanted to give the baby up for adoption on the day I found out I was pregnant. I just knew that I had to keep him away from my baby. When I tried to leave at 3 months pregnant, he dragged me through a parking lot by my hair and tried to get me in his car. I was screaming that I was pregnant and needed help and finally the cops came. It took 6 of them to get him off of me. Subsequently I moved 3 hrs. away to my parents house and lived in humiliation there. My dad called me fata** for 6 months straight. I grew to love my baby to the horror of my parents and was told that if I kept her they would disown me. I had no where to go and noone to trust. I had a case worker from th Dept. of SS in the adoption agency, as it was still my choice to give up my baby. I was told by both my case worker and lawyer that the father would not get custody of the baby because of his record that had come to light since I left him. I chose the family that I wanted for my daughter and was confident that all would be well. While still in the hospital after delivering a beautiful baby girl, I signed surrender papers, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Trying to shorten this story...my ex was watching me somehow and knew when I had the baby. He immediately started fighting for her. And after 11 months of her living in the home of the potential adoptive parents (he only saw her 2 times in that 11 months) a judge decided that I was trying to be vindictive by fighting him and granted him full custody. I spent everyday of the next 11 years praying that she could change him somehow. Almost 3 yrs ago now I recieved a letter from my daughter around Christmas time. I thought that it was some kind of joke at first but she was and is very real. I was concerned that a relationship would be difficult since even after all these years the thought of her father makes me sick. We have been talking for the next three yrs. We met, she would come for the weekend, even on family vacations (I have 2 other children, an 11 yr old son and a 3 yr old daughter now). We are born again Christians and her father is still an alcoholic, mean and lets her do anything and everything that she wants. I feel that he feels guilty. He has told me several times in his drunken stupors over the last 3 yrs that he figured that she and I were a package deal and he only fought for her because he thought I would follow. I couldn't. I knew he wouldn't hurt her and he was under CPS care for 2 yrs. He has not hurt her physically but she has had to be the parent, she has had to take care of him when he is drunk. She sleeps in her bedroom whil he has 5 of his buddies partying n the next room and she has been breathing in is pot smoke and cigarette smoke for 14 yrs now. She coughs like a smoker!. I am so angry but at the same time I cannot say anything negative because he was there and I wasn't. Does that make me a bad person? I hope not. GOdDknows how much I ache for her but I couldn't do it, I couldnt' stay with him, it would have destroyed me. We are no longer speaking right now. I have rules and expectations from my children and she doesnt like it but I cannot change to accommodate her and someone needs to let her know that what she is doing and what her father is letting her do is wrong. at 13 she started dating a 17yr old, she stays out until 1 am in the local park, she got drunk for the first time at 11. He has been turned in to CPS but they do nothing and now she really is too old for them to simply take her away. I don't know what to do, say, or handle this. My dream of having her in my life has been dashed and I am still onging for her and angry with him. There is more that I could say but I am tired.... God BLESS you all

09/24 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath

September 18th of this year marked the four year anniversary of finding my biological younger brother who was put up for adoption, When they say start where you started, it's the truth. My brother only lives 21/2 miles from me. We used to frequent the same establishments, and I was even at his high school graduation, as he graduated with my best friends younger brother. We have a very special relationship, and I feel truly blessed to have him in my life.

Be honest ...

I am glad that Dr. Phil helped Catherine in thinking about her motivation for finding her father. For someone who has had such a "hard life", she certainly acts like a spoiled brat. Her biological father had no idea about her, and now that they've found each other, she expects him to "pay up" ? She is an adult, and resposible for her own actions. It isn't her father's fault that she is in debt, or in such bad financial shape ! She made her choices, perhaps she should have thought about the financial ramifications of having a child, if things were that bad for her financially. But, no, like so many of today's kids ( those raised in 2 parent or 1 parent families), they feel "entitled" to have what ever they want. Instead of working for it, planning for it, saving for it, they choose the easy way, and then expect others to pay for it. I truly hope that she will work on a relationship with her father. I fear, though, that she will "punish" him and if he doesn't give in to her demands for money, will end things with him before they even get started. Some people need to do a lot of growing up !!!!!!!!!

Looking For My Son

Looking For My Son... His Birth Name Was Joshua Kegan Freeman...His Name Was Changed...That's Where I'm Having A Hard Time.....I Don't Want To Put All My Information Out... So That I Can Find Out If The Person Claming To Be... Will Tell Me Some Things... I Have Learned That Life Can Be Short.....Thank You Dr.Phil For Your Shows... I Do Watch Most Often... Thank You For ALL YOU DO......

Parental Alienation

I wish Dr. Phil would do a comprehensive show on Parent Alienation and the long term affect is has on both children and extended families. It amazes me that out of the blue someone can contact another and announce that they are their parent or child, yet every day there are children that are removed from the lives of a parent without the parents consent and nothing is done about it. Many times these children are told horrible lies about the other parent that color the children's perception of the other parent and there are no consequences.

It is interesting to read that so many men were denied access to or weren't even told about their children.

And, in my opinion, when a couple does decide to give up a child for adoption that they are giving both the child and the adopting family a gift and that we shouldn't be so cavalier about what a selfless act that decision is.