Superman: “Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m Superman! Superman can make candy with his mind.”

Child #3: “Nuh uh! I saw the movie!”

Superman: “Oh yeah? Watch this!”

(He closes his eyes and concentrations hard, then pretends to catch something out of the air.)

Superman: “Ah-ha! Chocolate!”

Spiderman #1: “Don’t give her that. They get too much sugar.”

Nurse: “It’s fine, sir.”

Spiderman #1: “No!”

(All of a sudden, Spiderman #1 grabs the chocolate from Superman, throws it on the floor, and stomps on it. He’s clearly out of control and scaring the children.)

Spiderman #1: “Food like that will just keep you sick! They just want you to stay here and keep buying their s****y candy to keep you sick so they can get your money! They just—”

(At that moment, a man dressed as Batman appears with his cape wrapped around him. Surprised, Spiderman #1 begins stuttering.)

Spiderman #1: “Uh… what do you want?”

Batman:*in a deep voice* “I want this hospital to be a place of hope. I want these children to enjoy their lives. I want the forces of darkness forever beaten.”

(He drops the cloak, revealing the police uniform underneath it.)

Batman:*cuffs Spiderman #1* “I want justice!”

(The children all cheer, relieved. A month later, one of the children who has been in the hospital for a very long time is getting ready to leave. When someone asks him what his favorite memory of the volunteer nights was, he says…)

Child: “When crazy Spiderman went crazy and Batman took off his costume and he was an actually real hero and made crazy Spiderman go away!”