"Dad. She's smiling for the cameras."
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck."
Despite immediate denials and threats of lawsuits, the Ben Affleck banging the nanny story not only still has legs, but is becoming more and more likely thanks to Christine Ouzinian telling everyone about it and almost definitely calling the paparazzi. So here's Lainey Gossip handling this situation like a boss by expertly drawing parallels to...

Here's Heidi Klum topless in Sardinia where I promise you that even though her hand is there, Heidi Klum has no idea where her nipples are and if you stare long enough you'll see one. I believe you'll find the terms of this agreement stern yet fair. But just in case, here's an entire gallery of Heidi Klum nipples because I'm a terrible negotiator. *signs over deed to house* Go on, take it. Get outta...

After yesterday's Cecil The Lion post, at least half of you now think Ted Nugent and I fly to Africa and potshot endangered species while twirling our mustaches and laughing, "Haha! Murder." So to win you back, here's a video on How To Date Charlotte McKinney which will absolutely not land you a date with Charlotte McKinney, but could just as easily be renamed "Tits: The Movie," so we're good here....

Brad Pitt's partying while Angelina saves Myanmar. [Lainey Gossip]
Olivier Martinez is about to be called a racist. [Dlisted]
Bob Saget is a perv? Get out! [The Frisky]
When Meek Mill and Drake beef, only The Internet wins. [Death and Taxes]
Nina Agdal made a lingerie video. [Hollywood Tuna]
Alina Boyko is a supernova of hotness. [Popoholic]
Natalia Velez's bikini is pointless. [Egotastic!]
Let's remember...

♫ Oh I had sex with my teen wife I adopted wang-dang-diddly-dang ♫
Before everyone jumps down my throat (I mean, you will, but not yet.), Ted Nugent in classic Ted Nugent-style absolutely has the facts wrong about Cecil The Lion. That's 100% Nuge. However, where he is right is this statement. Via THR:
"God are people stupid."
Yup. Yes, they are because IT'S A FUCKING LION. I know I'm going to get...

Here's Lena Dunham filming a scene for Girls where she hilariously mocks her own body by wearing Spandex and running in public. Which begs the question, what's so hilarious about obesity, Lena Dunham? Why does a strong feminist such as yourself consider it funny to wear ill-fitting clothes that exposes your natural, womanly girth? Are you not just reaffirming the patriarchy's expectations of the feminine...

With all the excitement it's easy to forget that Hulk Hogan fired two children out of his giant Thermos-like penis because he's constantly trying to bang one of them (In fairness, her poems, are asking for it.) while the other one is a nobody who by all rights should've Paul Walker'd out instead of leaving a Marine with a hole in his head. Anyway, while the nobody was in prison, Hulk became very concerned...