How To: Give A Eulogy

At some point in your life, you might be called upon to eulogize a recently departed close friend or relative at their funeral. This is just part of becoming a mature man. It's a great honor, but a difficult task.

The eulogy is the key to a successful funeral. And you will have to contain your grief and soldier on to successfully deliver the eulogy. Here's what you need to know.

Accept the honor It's a great honor to be asked by your family or the family of a friend to give a eulogy. It's also a great responsibility, which makes it a difficult task. But, it's your duty to accept.

By being chosen for this honor, it becomes your responsibility to set the tone of the funeral and express how you and other loved ones feel about the deceased — all the while remaining composed and reasonably upbeat. Unless, of course, you have negative feelings about the deceased, in which case, you should gracefully decline the invitation. Or bite the bullet and pretend like you loved the guy.

Know what a eulogy is A eulogy is a formal speech delivered at a funeral, in praise of the deceased. It's usually delivered by a relative or close friend of the deceased, or sometimes by a priest, minister, or rabbi. There is no one right way to write a eulogy. Biographical information is part of the eulogy, but not the most important component. The eulogy should primarily express how you feel about the person you're eulogizing, as well as how the person affected you and others. It should be a heartfelt, personal and gracious sendoff for the deceased.

Define the tone of the eulogy There are two general kinds of funerals. One is a remembrance of the natural death of an older person who has lived a full life. The other is a ritual for the tragic death of a relatively younger person taken before their time. In the case of a natural death, the tone of the funeral is lighter. A celebration of the life of the deceased, if you will. Accordingly, the eulogy can be lighter in tone.

In case of a tragic death, the tone of the funeral is heavier — a public display of grief and shock. In this case, your eulogy should be more serious in tone, a sermon to help the assembled cope with the death.