Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

We, the undersigned, demand the immediate declassification and release of all transcripts and documents relating to the destruction of the Death Star.

Given that much of this information has already been made public in the newly released book, “Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack”, it is unacceptable to continue to keep these documents and transcripts hidden from the public’s view.

The disastrous nature of the attacks warrant the release of all of this information so that the public may learn what the Empire did or did not do, what was known, and when. Had there been proper warning of the looming and imminent rebel threat, life saving choices could have been made that day.

That’s awesome. But there are many more questions that we need to demand answers to–like why the original Death Star explosion footage was clearly doctored to make it appear more dramatic. To test the official “one proton torpedo” story, I constructed a model of the Death Star out of chicken wire and shot it with a blaster pistol. It did melt and burn some, but it didn’t explode spectacularly. Clearly we’re being lied to.

And why were official accounts of known criminal/smuggler/human (and droid) trafficker Han Solo’s lethal gunfight with Greedo altered to make it appear that Greedo shot first? Did it have anything to do with the large cash payment that Solo received from the Rebel Alliance shortly before the Death Star was destroyed?

Darth Vader (as anakin) worked closely with both r2d2 and C3PO as a child (and young adult). These robots both obtained the plans to the Death Star. How could he have not recognized their names – especially, given that he created one of them.

Vader was also keenly knowledgeable about the geographic layout of Tatooine (having lived there as a child), yet he could not deduce where the robots might eventually end up?

Did the soldier who did not destroy the escape pod not realize that robots existed? why did he not destroy every vessel that left the ship, whether there was life in it or not? Has he not heard of a floppy disk either?

Chimpler McEmperor SizzleSith and his VVVader pal obviously cookin the books on THIS one. WHO PROFITS?? FOLLOW THE MONEY! Dollars for doughnuts the space military industrial complex is going to sink BILLIONS in space credits to build another Death Star to protect the sheeple-ites from a harmless bunch of space zionists funded rebels.

If you haven’t had a chance check out the primitive “Why We Fight” movie recently downloaded through a wormhole from the future.

And what are we to make of the two different recordings of the explosion? In the original that I saw 30 years ago, it simply vaporized into millions of pieces like glittering sparks. But in AP’s screencap, someone has clearly added an atmospheric-type explosion effect and a ring of fire around it!

Rumor has it that not too long before the Death Star’s unfortunate destruction, there was a strange occurrence – a couple of Storm Troopers and two prisoners (a wookie and political prisoner Leia, Princess and Imperial Senator for Alderaan, who was found to also be a secret member of the Rebel Alliance, and happened to be carrying the plans for the Empire’s battle station, the Death Star, her ship is intercepted by Darth Vader) killed several guards and military personnel, were seen inside the Death Star’s large garbage compacters, and escaped in a seized old-looking ship. More importantly, more recent information is showing that this Leia may just be Lord Vader’s daughter.

A contingent of Storm Troopers actually questioned Skywalker and noted radical “Spiritual leader” Obi Wan Kenobi at Mos Eisly Spaceport, and then…released them. Most of their report of the contact is missing–only a small note remains that “these were not the droids we were looking for.”

Look, let’s be reasonable. I’m not saying Palpatine blew up the Death Star. But I’d be willing to be convinced that he let it happen.

Why would Palpatine blow up the Death Star? To justify his botched invasion of the oil-rich Ice Planet Hoth, even though there is no evidence those rebels had anything to do with the Death Star attack!

Rumors of incest in the Rebel Alliance hierarchy still persist, despite the much hyped cover story that a kiss between the two siblings that was witnessed by many Imperial Stormtroopers was just ‘for luck.’

Exit questions: Does Luke Skywalker really believe that he talks with spirits, and does he base his policy decisions upon advice gained, supposedly, from beyond the grave? Is this the kind of person we want in a leadership position? Please, think of the padawans!

To test the official “one proton torpedo” story, I constructed a model of the Death Star out of chicken wire and shot it with a blaster pistol. It did melt and burn some, but it didn’t explode spectacularly. Clearly we’re being lied to.

Nice.

Actually all of them are brilliant. I wanted to add another “question,” but I’ve got nothing.

One thing that always baffled me – couldn’t the mighty tractor beam of the Death Star have just brought all of those puny rebel fighter ships in – to where they would capture the rebels and hold them in one of the Imperial prisoner camps?

I don’t think questioning all of this makes me, or anybody else, un-Imperial. I just think the government is keeping vital information from us.

To test the official “one proton torpedo” story, I constructed a model of the Death Star out of chicken wire and shot it with a blaster pistol. It did melt and burn some, but it didn’t explode spectacularly. Clearly we’re being lied to.Nice.

Actually all of them are brilliant. I wanted to add another “question,” but I’ve got nothing.

I can’t believe you guys dont see it. The empire needed the resources of the gas mines located in the city-state of Cloud City. Clearly Palpatine needed to invent a reason to invade the city and “leave an imperiel garrison” there. What better excuse is there then claiming that the city harbors the terrorists that struck at key infrastucture of the Empire State. The actual explosion could easily have been staged, if planned by the Emperor.

9) Since it was already proven the Death Star was operational in its destruction of Alderaan, why was it necessary for the Death Star to have to orbit for 30 minutes to “clear the planet” Yavin in order to then attack the moon with the rebel base? Why didn’t the Death Star just destroy Yavin itself upon arrival? Surely that would have destroyed the rebel base moon as well? Even if not, there would then be a clear shot at the moon with the rebel base.

10) What about the rumors that Lord Vader’s daughter was on that base, the sister of the pilot who was allegedly the lone gunman? How convenient she was immune to the mind probe Lord Vader administered himself. On other thing. When the Princess’ ship was captured over Tattooine, Lord Vader gave the order to say everyone on board was killed.

In radio intercepts of the ‘attack,’ you can clearly hear one terrorist asking another if he will be able to “pull out in time.” As you all know pull out is a zero-gravity onstruction term for execute controlled demolition and blame on Rebel Alliance. We’re through the looking glass people.

Princess Leia lied us into war! The Empire obviously did not have a WMD! The destruction of Alderaan was not accomplished by some “Death Star!” How many rebel pilots died in the attack? Leia lied, people died!