Indigo Tries Long-Term Relationship!

Pairs well with a good cider. Any kind will do, but you know it’s been there for you in the past and will be in the future.

This could also be called Monogamy: My Love Story. I have always been a monogamous-minded person. It’s been a truth in my brain that I would commit my life to one person since I was a young human. I never really dreamed about weddings as I grew up. Instead, I dreamed of honeymoons. I pictured myself climbing slopes of Scotland with a beautiful lady. I imagined being in the arms of a tall, dark man in a hotel in India. I visualized my partner and I on a tour of catacombs in Egypt.

It’s probably safe to say that I’ve envisioned myself with a number of different people, body types and settings. I always pictured one at a time, and I was never picky. A few of my friends believed that meant I was polyamorous. They said “You don’t have to settle for one person in life. You can explore.”

And this is where I differ from polyamory: I never see monogamy as settling. I look at spending my life with one other person and it feels like a privilege. This world is full of fascinating people. I meet them every day and get to know them in a platonic way. And when my day is over, I come home to the same person I did yesterday, last week and I hope every day in the future. Every day, I learn some little thing about him. And things I already knew make me smile even more.

As a child, I didn’t have a lot of stable people in my life. The folks who stayed around lacked logic and I was emotionally lost more often than not. I asked everyone I met to stay in my life. Not out loud, of course. But in my own silent way. Every year, I had a new best friend because every year, they moved away. I didn’t begin to date people until I was 20 because I didn’t trust anyone to stay around long enough to get attached. My first boyfriend became a nightmare that I still occasionally deal with. (That’s a story for a different day.)

Finally, I found a human. I had been on the dating app Plenty of Fish for about six hours when I received a message that seemed innocent and harmless. He used a few pick-up lines on me (which did not happen often, even on dating sites). About an hour later, I shared my phone number so I could text him while I was at work instead of you know, working.

Damn, this line was good.

We talked like this all week and finally met in person 6 days later. We shared bubble tea. We shared a walk, a kiss, a make-out session on my couch. We kept seeing each other whenever we could, including abandoning my family Christmas party early (sorry, fam). He came to visit me as I traveled out of town. (The logistics actually made me closer to him on this trip. Geography is weird.) One week after that, we spent 7 days snowed into my apartment playing games. Two months later, I returned from a long trip out of state and said “I love you.” It was the first time I had said it to another human romantically.

It’s now been over a year. We’ve met each others’ families and moved in. He’s held me while I cry. He’s gently prodded me out of bed for breakfast. He’s comforted me in times of self-doubt. I’ve tried hard to do the same for him. We found a rhythm in our little corner of world. And with him, I’ve been able to find what I love. From the security of my trust and warmth in this relationship, I found the dreams that I had buried a long time ago. They’re different now. But they are still good, and he’s making them better every day.

OOPS NO FUNNY. I just wanted my cupcake to know I love him. Have this picture of my sexy alabaster legs as re-payment.