Flashmob Hater Turns To Craigslist For Help In HILARIOUS Post

This person doesn’t want to be anywhere NEAR the next flashmob, so he (presumably) politely informed the Craigslist universe last week he would like to be personally notified of all future flashmob events.

“Please post where this [every upcoming flashmob] is going to be,” the hater begins. “If there are going to be multiple events, please post those, too. You can reply to this and let just me know if you want to keep it a secret.”

And anyone planning a flashmob in Baltimore really should pay attention:

“I won’t say anything. I know a flashmob is supposed to be a surprise, but goddammit, if I get caught in one or am near one when it happens, I’m going to freak out. I am honestly a peaceful guy, but when I see a large group of happy people expressing their mirth through dance, I want to hurt things.”

Here’s the full post from Baltimore Craigslist’s “All Community” section: