perhaps it is knowing that this (this utah adventure of mine) ends tuesday morning. knowing that this adventure which was harder than i ever dared imagine--that this adventure which forced more questions than answers--this adventure which revealed thousands of new things--this forced-boil--is almost over.

it has been impossible. this adventure. i'm not going to lie and say it has been anything less than impossible. and for i who lean toward the histrionic, this statement does not even approach hyperbole.

but it has been an adventure. of that i am sure. and for that i give thanks as i slowly and quietly massage the pain up and out, up and out.

Today I'm feeling pain for the first time in a long time...it sucks. But I remember the last time I felt this way and nothing but strength and growth came from it eventually. I think one day you'll see what you gained from your Utah experience.

Pain is an inevitable part of life and though this Utah journey has been difficult I think you'd probably agree that you grew and learned about yourself through the process and isn't that what life is really about? I say congrats for taking the challenge head on and coming out the clear winner! You go.

Meg, just now I started to panic thinking that I had missed all the shows. But there is still one tomorrow, and I will try my very hardest to be there! I know your Utah adventure was hard, and I know that I would have a hard time {and not handle it nearly as gracefully as you have} if I ever jetted off to some state all alone for 3 months, but I hope that you'll look back on it with at least a little fondness.