I've had 3 homebirths. They were absolutely not easy - especially the first - but I certainly wouldn't call them traumatic! It's like: when I was a kid, I used to read adventure stories and wish for a difficult, scary quest that would require all my strength, and from which I could come back feeling like a hero. I got that. (And if anybody says I don't get a medal - if you truly feel like a hero, you don't need one. )

The things that I am upset about with my homebirth could have happened in the hospital. I would be much more upset if I had been in the hospital...

1. My husband took the baby, left the room, and invited people to come an see the baby while I was being stitched up. I needed a hand to hold!

2. Not enough litacain was used when the stitched me up. All I could think of was that I did not want anything sharp in that area. Had I had someone who could think clearly to put things in perspective the outcome would have been better. Again, a hand to hold would have been wonderful!

I did not have a doula and next time we are going to have doula money saved before ttc! I'm hoping that if I pay someone to be right there rather than relying on my husband who apparently felt like a volunteer that I will not be alone with the midwife and a needle.