A Guy’s Guide to Getting Into Clubs

Before you start stressing out about whether you and your friends will get past the notoriously strict velvet ropes of South Beach, make sure you actually want to get inside. Every club has its night, and although the Florida Room at the Delano may be hot on a Tuesday, it’s closed Sunday and Monday. If you’re looking for the best club on a Thursday or Friday, Mynt is the place to be if you like house music, while you hip hop lovers will enjoy Mansion on these nights. Do your research boys!

After you’ve decided which clubs to visit on your trip, you should determine the one night you really want to party like rockstars. So you’ve decided Saturday at LIV looks like the hottest club for you. If you can afford to, go ahead and splurge on bottle service. Aside from the advantage of skipping the line and being whisked into the club (on most occasions), there’s an even bigger reward: flocks of girls dancing around your table in the hopes of free drinks. If you’re lucky, one of the girls might even hang around long enough for chatting or a drunken make-out session. Sharing vodka and champagne with pretty girls is a no brainer since some clubs require three bottles per four guys.

If bottle service is out of your league, my second piece of advice is to arrive at the club early. I have seen a 50 person line outside of LIV before the club was even open! Make sure you get there no later than 45 minutes after the club opens if you want to get in. If you’re unfortunate to arrive at one of our hottest clubs after 1:30, chances are the club is packed to capacity. So you, your friends, the doorman’s best friend, and even that super hot girl in the Herve Leger bandage dress won’t make it inside. Please direct any objections to the Fire Marshall.

Miami’s clubs hire promoters to bring in a great crowd, and make sure the club is full. Go ahead and enlist the services of one of Miami’s promoters to make your entry process smoother. Although you nailed down the “what night is good at what club research”, you now have to know which promoters work with what clubs. The best way to contact a promoter is to check out their website or find them on Facebook. For the good looking guys, promoters promise to escort you into the club and skip the cover. Show up in pairs, since the worst thing a doorman can see is a group of five guys. Take advantage of a promoter such as Shaun Gold, Tommy Madison, or Michael Capponi. If all the other guys in line look like Calvin Klein models and you don’t, prepare to hear the promoter say, “Sorry, I can’t get you in tonight.”

This is where my tried and tested plan comes into play. Scan the crowd, and if you see a few pretty, scantily clad girls, chat them up and offer to pay their cover if they pretend to be part of your group. If they seem indecisive, throw in a round of drinks as well. Chances are they spent all their money on their designer dress and $35 of free necessities will sound like a sweet deal. The doorman will see the two of you, with three beautiful girls, and the velvet rope will click right open!

If you show up at the club and skipped bottle service, using a promoter, or enlisting the help of pretty girls, just turn around and go home. I’m kidding, there’s one last strategy. If you’re tired of waiting in line and you seem invisible to the doorman, I recommend the $50 dollar handshake. I’ve used this method in NY to get into sold out live band performances. Guess what? It can work in Miami too. Several doormen confirmed this. They advise being very discreet because they’re breaking the rules by doing this and don’t want to lose their job in the process. Practice with a friend and make sure you get it down perfectly before you try it.

What to Wear

Dressing well for your evening out is crucial. Let’s start with what not to wear: the anti-club outfit consists of a navy polo shirt, khaki pants, and penny loafers. Here are several clubby outfits that will make getting in a lot easier:

What’s a SoBe inspired shirt? Examples are a white shirt with a cool design in velvet on the back or a grey shirt with a graphic design. Instead of going shopping at home, just get one here!

Dealing with the Doorman

Remember that doormen are people too. As soon as you arrive, make eye contact, and say “How’s it going?” or “How are you doing tonight?” Look like you have no problem waiting in line. After waiting in line for what may feel like forever, you can politely ask, “How long do you think the wait is tonight?” Please no gum chewing, talking loudly on your cell phone, being rowdy, hitting on girls in the crowd, or showing up drunk. Ignore my advice and you’ll be spending your evening at Mango’s. Smile, think positively, and don’t look like you’re standing in line for the electric chair. You’ll be surprised at how terrified some people look waiting in line.

Chances are You Will Get In

The beautiful people make up a small percentage of club goers. If South Beach nightclubs relied only on those people coming, they wouldn’t stay in business- although there are certain exclusive events that the average person may not get into. Show up looking like you put in some effort, respect the doorman, and chances are you will get in. Trust me, I have seen crowds of people in line at Mansion and Rockbar, and they were just regular people. If you’re dressed the part, ordered bottle service, used a promoter, or have a flock of gorgeous girls with you, chances are, you’re going to have a great night drinking and dancing at Miami’s hottest clubs!

Why All the Hassle?

Please don’t whine about all the work you had to go through to get in, while the girls just parted the ropes with a quick flash of a smile. The clubs maintain a high girl to guy ratio for a reason. Clubs pack in the girls to give guys a more pleasurable experience and make that $300 bottle of Ciroc worth every penny. Let’s face it, guys go to clubs to meet girls-and lots of them! Do you really want to spend money on bottle service to hang out with tons of other guys? All your hard work pays off in the end, so sorry guys, you’re not getting any sympathy from me. Oh, and if you see you see me dancing around your table at Mynt, I’ll have a vodka and club soda, with a splash of cranberry.

But as far as I know, no club in Miami allows underage guys in, which is discriminatory, If you ask me.

Posted on 06/22/2009 at 4:23 PM

Mike V.
says:

Hey Christy you are too funny and so on point. I’ve been on the beach for many years now and learned those tips over time during my hardcore party days. However I will admit that working in the hospitality industry on the beach made it easier for me.
Great advice!!!

Great resource, Christy! Next time somebody asks me how to get into the clubs, I’ll steer them to your article. Meanwhile, I’ll be sitting by the pool table at the Deuce, chatting up a tranny hooker and a midget.

Great tips, Christy. I’m sure guys will really appreciate this as they seem to stress out a lot about what to wear and how to break through to the other side of the velvet rope. It’s probably easier to get into the Pentagon than it is into some of these clubs! Whew!

Doug, I’ll also stick with the midgets and trannies at Club Douche ... it feels way more authentic than the hand-picked Stepford ambiance of clubs.

And yes, for the rest of us “regular people” out there who aren’t considered “beautiful people,” we don’t have to go roast marshmallows at a crack den in Liberty City for entertainment if we don’t get into clubs ... there are plenty of amazing bars and lounges in South Beach that don’t have velvet rope policies.

Posted on 06/24/2009 at 11:45 AM

Aaron in Miramar
says:

“Please no gum chewing, talking loudly on your cell phone, being rowdy, hitting on girls in the crowd, or showing up drunk.”

I’ve been guilty of doing all of these (aside from hitting on girls prior to even entering the club) at once. Damn I miss Sobespots at Opium and Crobar Community.

This is a good article for Joe from Sheboygan that really is clueless and might attempt to enter wearing cargo shorts and a Cubs jersey. I think common sense along with a lack of “douchedom” will go a long way for anybody that actually has been to a club in a major city before. If you’re having to grease the palms of a doorman then you pretty much should call it a vacation and head back to Fort Wayne.

Posted on 06/27/2009 at 4:49 PM

Jess
says:

Christy you posted places for girls to buy clothes on ur other form. but where can guys but the SOBE look from?

I’M IN MIA FOR MY B-DAY SEPT 5TH -8TH. WHERE SHOULD I GO TO CELEBRATE?

Posted on 08/31/2009 at 7:09 PM

luis
says:

great advices from christyl ive been many times in space before and i know how this ppl are if u look like u can drink inside i mean (not looking tired, drunk, or broke) u have better chances going with girls its always a plus but u can go with a wingman if u want they know what u looking for and if u look like u get laid ur chances are better…brush ur teeth clomb ur hair smile since u get in the crowd talk to ur friend say good comments about the place like it looks like its great inside say hi to the bouncer u dont need to spend 400 dollars american apparel v necks are cheap and fit the disco atmosphere just think in ur outfit and try to look decent and ull have ur shot in the door and when u get inside brother keep urself away from the pills after 3am some ladies get bored and the dudes are drugged so ur chances and way better to get laid when ur the only healthy male in a large group of ppl thats all the dominican have to say have fun

Posted on 09/08/2009 at 1:30 AM

Singh
says:

I am from San Francisco, and was shocked when i was denied entrance to a club because I wore a turban(which is not a baseball hat), it’s is a my religion’s article that I have to wear. I was dissapointed with Miami’s intollerence towards other culture. If it’s a security reason, than they should get a metal detector or wand like some clube here in Cali

Posted on 07/09/2010 at 5:25 PM

Matt
says:

What about if you’re gay like me? I am not going to a club to pick up girls - just to have a good time!

Posted on 07/22/2012 at 5:50 PM

Mike
says:

Hi Christy, great tips and advice in your articles!
I just wondered if you could offer me some advice?
I am travelling to Florida from the UK on 19th April with my family. As part of our holiday I have booked a week at a Miami South Beach Hotel. I have a son 18 and a daughter 19 who both like to party. They are always dressed to impress but I wondered if they are too young to get into any clubs? They will be accompanied by Mum and Dad as we also like to party.