The Neveah Series!

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She stood facing her floor to ceiling mirror. Her reflection no
longer startled her. Her body had changed considerably since the
great monster chose to use her body as a host. That is what she
called it now, “the great monster.” No one else seemed to have
the ability to give her silent tormenter a name. Doctors were baffled
and she sometimes doubted her friends and family truly believed her.
Her monster was silent, nameless, and faceless. It’s hard to
believe in something that you can’t see or touch or even put a name
to. She knew it was there. That was all that mattered now.

She reminisced briefly on her life before the monster. Her hair
seemed to shine brighter, her face appeared younger, but it was the
changes in her body that bothered her the most. She was growing
older, after all, so a few wrinkles were nothing to get excited over
and her hair was mostly worn in a ponytail so who cared if it didn’t
shine as brightly. Her body though, her body was so different.

She thought of how, at one time, she stood tall, strong, thin and
straight. The monster had a different idea for her body. Her body now
could swell from her toes to her head causing her once beautiful skin
to stretch and contrast. Now tiny lines covered her skin as though
the beast was marking its territory. Her once flat belly now
protruded as though she was pregnant and her strong spine had given
up on holding her upright. Her body leaned severely to one side more
often than it stood straight. These were just outward appearances
though. The things people could see. The things that proved something
was not right were inside of her. It was the way the monster
terrorized her insides that left her nearly crippled, mentally and
physically.

Most days the monster ran with fire beneath her skin. It wreaked
havoc on her muscles, her bones, and her mind. The pain was
uncontrollable, leaving her weak, angry, sad, and, most of all,
resentful of the life she had lived and of the life was now living.
Try as she might her mind couldn’t compete with the monster. She
tried, in vein, to quiet the monster. She would feed it morphine but
the drug only made the monster stronger and her mind weaker.

Before she knew what was happening, the monster took hold of the
morphine and begged her for more. Her mind was conflicted. She knew
the dangers of the drug. She knew the risk of addiction. She also
knew the pain that controlled her life. She knew the sadness she felt
when the pain held her bed bound. She knew the morphine could keep
the monster quiet, if only for a short amount of time, so she fed the
monster.

She could feel the morphine rush through her body. She felt its
attempt to kill the monster and its disappointment when it could do
no more than numb the monster temporarily. She felt her body beg for
more. Beg for the small moments of sweet release. The moments were
few and far between but she lived for them. At least she used to live
for them.

She visited more and more doctors but they couldn’t help her. The
more treatments and drugs they gave her, the stronger the monster
grew. The harder she fought the monster, the weaker she grew. Her sad
mind and heart were now beginning to appear more often than her happy
heart and mind. Some days she begged her body to heal. She begged her
body to live, to fight, and to beat the monster. Other days, days
that were becoming more and more frequent, her body begged for
release. She cried to be let go, she prayed she would fall asleep and
never awaken. Her emotions were in turmoil as the monster ripped her
body to pieces. She was at a crossroads but she didn’t know which
way to go.

She would wait. She would hope. She would pray to another unknown
entity. She would fight. She would never give in. She would never
give up. She was in a bitter fight for her life. She would keep her
mind strong even as her body grew frail. Her opponent may be
invisible but it would not win. She would win. She would stand tall
and strong and straight. Her hair would once again be shiny. Her skin
would glow. She hoped she would be with her family in this world when
she finally beat the great monster but knew her body was weak. Her
body may give out, but her heart, her thoughts, her soul would live
on. That one thought gave her peace. She would cling to that tiny
feeling of peace.