Saturday, January 8, 2011

Little Blossoms of Hope

For those of you who have been following my blog from the beginning...way back to my old Garden Painter Art days, you know that I have had a series of challenges in my life. In 2003 my dad passed away here at my home, on hospice. Soon after, my mom fell ill with a rare disease. Her sickness was a long and drawn out "process" which ended in her passing away at a Board and Care in June of 2009. During the time that my mom was sick, my family fell into terribe financial troubles due to her medical costs. I fell into a terrible depression that lasted several years. I felt dead. I had no desire or hope and I found myself, basically, waiting around to die. I stopped creating, I stopped laughing and I stopped gardening. I found that without hope, you can die inside.

Over the course of the last few years, I've had alot of time to think and put things in perspective. Even now, things are sometimes difficult, we're still struggling to get our finances in some sort of order. Some days are better than others...BUT, I do have better days now.

Little blossoms of hope ~

You see, where my beautiful garden once lived ~

and gave a colorful treat to the eye ~

and a pitter-patter to my heart ~

Is now home to an abandoned ~

tangled ~

webby mess ~

It's coming up on three years now since I turned my back on my garden. Now, I'm finding that my garden refuses to turn her back on me. She is much more loyal to me than I have been to her.

A couple of weeks ago, I was looking outside my window. In all the abandoned, tangled and webby chaos, I saw just the tiniest hint of pink. On closer inspection, I found that there were several fresh beginnings of Pink Salvia coming up. What??? My Salvia died out in the Autumn of 2007, along with everything else. Now, three years later, these little pops of pink hope are making their way out of long dormant seeds.

My loyal and strong Nasturtiums refused to give up...even when I wanted to give up ~

Secrets sparks of red here and there ~

I've discovered something incredible...I want to live again ~

I want life in my garden again ~

I want to laugh with Shell and "Dippy" ~

and eat Firecracker Chocolate ~

So...I made a promise to my garden and a promise to my family ~ I will live again.

7 comments:

How beautiful it is to recognize that your garden is also a continuing symbol of hope. I too have such little treasures, which when i am separated from them, the world appears to have simply ceased to turn. I can emphasize with you, especially for your losses, and yet i am so glad to hear how much strength these experiences will have given you in the long term. Hope is a terribly underrated word.Without it we are nothing.

Many wishes for the year ahead, Kim, to you and your lovely family.And i am thriled to hear you have a cartel store!

Oh, I loved reading this and I love you sweet friend. You are a sweet soul and I only hope if I go through the terrible things that you have gone through (and came out of) I do it with as much grace as you.xo

I am glad to read this. I've enjoyed your artwork and was sorry to see that you had to go through so much. There is nothing sweeter than light after such a dark time and to see that as your life comes back to you so does the life around you in your garden. I wish for you the best in 2011!

I know how you feel about the loss of parents. I saw my mom and both my in-laws die right before me and it is a long hard struggle to make sense of it all- sickness and death- and want to go forward. It is so hard when you see the rest of the world continue to spin as if nothing is slowing it down...doesn't it recognize our struggles, I ask? I am glad you are feeling the sun come out again in your soul. One day at a time...Amy