New ‘Idol’ judges: Fab singers, but we miss the zingers!

The new “American Idol” judging panel may be stocked with successful singers, but can J-Lo, Harry Connick Jr. or Keith Urban dole out great zingers?

“The words ‘namby pamby’ come to mind,” Elizabeth Jurenovich wrote on my Facebook page. “People may not have liked Simon Cowell but he definitely inspired folks to tune in, which has not happened to the same measure since he left.”

She’s right. For years, one of the TV singing competition’s biggest draws was Simon Cowell; specifically, Simon’s snarky critiques from “Idol” years, 2002-2010.

Some of his most memorable:

“You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with the massive eyes. What do they call those? Bush babies.”

“You sounded like you were being strangled.”

“Your facial expressions are ugly… You are a beautiful girl but you’re ugly when you perform.”

“My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don’t.”

“I could sell you as a sleeping aid. I’ve never heard anything more boring in my life.”

“If you win this competition, we will have failed.”

“If you had sung like this 2,000 years ago, people would have stoned you.’

“Does God have a return policy? If he gave me that voice, I’d give it back.”

“You take singing lessons? Do you have a lawyer? Get a lawyer and sue your teacher.”

Can you remember your favorite? For inspiration, click here for more Simonisms.