This site is dedicated to my spiritual and physical journey before and after the death of my husband and the father of my son from cancer. It is about grieving, loving, understanding and sharing, and living in the connection while accepting the physical separation that passing on brings. It is also about moving forward in your life from whatever challenges life hands you and living the life that is wanted for you from above.

The “Perfect” Marriage

No marriage is perfect. Or better yet, the term “perfect” when it comes to marriage needs to be redefined. My definition of perfect was totally different. Jordon and I were two alpha peas just trying to get along in a little pod. We were madly in love with each other and crazy jealous and protective of what we had. But we could scrap it out like there was no tomorrow. I even got so mad at him one night I cleared a coffee table with one sweep of my arm. Wine glasses, remotes, and coasters and whatever smashed everywhere. God that felt good. And you know what? We had a good laugh afterward and we never forgot it. The perfect marriage is not about always getting along with each other and living in La La Land. That is complete BS and if you think all your neighbors around you have it any different, guess what – they don’t.

My marriage to Jordon was perfect. We laughed together, cooked together, loved together, parented together, and we also fought like cats and dogs. He always took care of me and Jackson, and in the end I took care of him and held his hand and said “I love you”. He challenged my flaws, and I helped him overcome the obstacles he faced. We made each other look in the mirror at ourselves to try and be better people. We truly lived out our vows to each other.

To have and to hold.

For richer or poorer.

In sickness and in health.

Forsaking all others.

Til’ death do us part.

Back to basics like I always say. The truth is simplistic. Be there for each other the best way you know how.

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Holly C Barker

My name is Holly Barker and I am the founder of Grief Anonymous, a support organization for grief and loss. I am also the founder of the Grief Resource Network. My husband of 14 years and the father of my son died of Malignant Melanoma skin cancer in 2014. My mission is to write honestly about our journey and to share with those that are going through the loss of a loved one or another challenging experience. I learned through this experience about the process of understanding, accepting what life hands us, and living in the continuum and connectivity to our loved ones that have passed on. If you are stuck and having a difficult time moving forward into the life that is wanted for you from above, follow me on this journey and maybe it will help you, too. Love and Light, Holly