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Saturday, January 15, 2011

never-ending story

I thought that graduating as a doctor is the zenith of my career. It was such a long painstaking journey that you cannot help but feel victorious when you complete your last week of housemanship. And as one who cares not to be a surgeon, physician, obstetrician, whatever-rologist, I’m boggled as to why is it (in Malaysia) it’s insufficient to stay a regular medical officer? You see regular engineers, lawyers, accountants etc furthering their careers without having to specialize in a certain department and still get to advance to better posts and pay. How is it that it’s not the same for medicine? All I ever get is someone asking me about what I intend to specialize in or what sort of doctor am I? Why do you not ask the same question to a marine biologist or dentist or even pharmacist? I’m irritated that there are such ludicrous double standards for us in medicine and I’m tired of having to explain (and sometimes even defend) my choice to not be more than just a doctor. I like being a regular doctor. I do not like having to stare at a woman’s vagina day in and day out / look at a man’s penis 8 hours in a row / handling scalpels or sutures / face screaming children every single day of the year. And if ambition is concern, I aspire to be the best regular doctor out there. Why isn’t this enough? Why do you f*ckers out there (who has never been in med school mind you) frown upon or lecture me about my lack of direction? Why??

My boss had ‘the talk’ with me the other day. She asked me what my future plans were and if I was building my blocks towards it. She didn't mean any harm, I can tell it's sheer concern but she striked a chord. A chord that keeps getting strummed. Nobody told me that it’s a continuous race in medicine... or at least medicine here. Med school was tiring as it was and even more the crappy housemanship. And completing my government service isn’t a walk in the park either... minimum wage maximum efforts and expectation, it’s no wonder my good friend Ah Harpers has decided to leave the country along with his wife. They’re going to greener pastures in Australia and I’m sure this is not a solitary case. Alright I’m digressing. I don’t know what the future holds for me. At this moment I haven’t got a clue in the world what I intend to do with the rest of my pathetic life (or so it is if you’re not a specialist!) but puh-lease could everyone just do me a favour and get off my back for awhile? I’ve done what I was supposed to do. Rejoice... don’t disdain... WTF!