“I want to know if there’s a keychain version of this.” — Tom Waits, accepting his trophy.

“Neil was known as the Jewish Elvis Presley. Which is a lot better than being the Jewish Fabian. In fact, in synagogues across America, Elvis Presley was known as a bogus Neil Diamond.” — Paul Simon introducing Neil Diamond.

“These are the $3,000 tickets. My people can’t afford the $3,000 tickets. They’re up there with the $2,000 tickets.” — Neil Diamond, giving a shout out to vocal fans in the balcony.

“What have I learned? For starters, you can get back more records than you sold. And there’s no such thing as fixing it in the mix.” — Jac Holzman, founder of Elektra Records