The Inner Monologue of a Crazed Fan During the Game of Thrones Season Finale

The Game of Thrones season finale premiered on Sunday to anticipation, despair and collective awe of fans everywhere. Endless questions were awaiting answers. Will Cleganebowl finally happen? Will Jon’s parentage finally be revealed? Will Jon and Daenerys finally hook up? Are Cersei and Jaime finally going to come to blows? What will finally happen? And, of course, the blanket questions: who dies, who bonks and what plot twists await us at the end?

As my friends and I piled around a projector screen watching YouTube clips of previews and house histories throughout the Seven Kingdoms, we impatiently counted down the minutes until 9 p.m. hit. Then, slightly early, HBO Go released the episode and the “The Dragon and the Wolf” began.

Here’s what went through my head during the episode:

….

Here it is. LOAD DAMN IT. Ok, here we go

The previews better not pull that BS where they spoil it before it happens

God I hate Littlefinger

If this whole “Bringing a wight back” thing doesn’t work, can’t say I didn’t tell you so

How are there still that many Unsullied?

Look at Bronn being called “lord” – glow up

Ah, stay true to yourself babe

What a warm welcome home for the Imp

“Silver-haired bitch” has a nice ring to it

Bronn & Tyrion together again

Podrick sure has grown up

Oh yeah, Brienne did leave the Hound for dead…forgot about that.

Look at all the reunions. How sweet.

Cersei looks like Tim Burton dressed her

What is this, a high school lunchroom?

So when is Dany flying in on her dragon?

Now, I guess

Honestly if the dragon just breathed fire now, the whole show would just end

Euron, sweetie, that’s not how things go okay? Shut up.

“We are a group of people who do not like each other,” understatement of the year

Aw damn, so that was the Clegane Bowl preview we saw?

Creepy Maester = Frankenstein. He’ll make his own army of the dead. You heard it hear first.

How many times have we seen Cersei shook on this show? It’s so weird.

Alright well that was a good character arc for Euron. See ya.

Ew, even his farewells make me feel icky.

CERSEI ACCEPTED A TRUCE???

Oh okay, strings. There they are. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Jon is getting hotter to Dany by the second

There’s the Stark in him. Getting people killed and all. Nothing new.

I miss Jaime & Tyrion

Omg Shae flashbacks

Tyrion don’t go asking for things you can’t take back

There’s the alcohol abuse we’ve come to know and love

Does anyone actually believe Cersei is pregnant?

Jon + Dany = JUST KISS ALREADY

Wait what – what kind of BS is Cersei pulling?

When is Littlefinger going to die?

Sansa wtf. You just gonna tell all Arya’s secrets? What kind of sisterly alliance is that?

You can see Littlefinger fill with power when his schemes play out

Sansa, sweetie, you’re smarter than that

Theon – GROW A SPINE FOR GOD’S SAKE

Yara needed you episode 2 you jerkwad

Ok I could fight better than Theon

Theon right now – “GOT NO BALLS JACKASS!”

Wait I thought there was a boxing match last night?

“It took him four seasons to grow back the balls he lost”

Littlefinger is literally like:

FINALLY Bran becomes useful

WHERE ARE YOUR CLEVER SCHEMES NOW LORD BAELISH

There’s gonna be more plot twists right??? I mean, this is a GOT finale

Cersei is betraying everyone but herself. That’s not a plot twist @ Benioff and Weiss

Killing Jaime would certainly be a plot twist

Winter has come y’all

OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED

Time for some more incest

Aye Jon, cute butt

YOU KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW

Best quote of the season trailer finally arrives in the last five minutes of the season