This blog is devoted to stuff that white people like

#13 Tea

It is a known fact that white people consume, on average 25 different teas in a given year.

Back in the old days, white people would go all over the world to get teas from places like India and Sri Lanka. They were pretty into it and all of a sudden white people are into tea. But as we moved forward, white people were like “man, one kind of tea is not enough, we need more.”

And now people are into Green Tea, Chamomile, Chai, White Tea, Red Tea, Jasmine Tea, Oolong Tea, Black Tea, Orange Pekoe, and other specialty blends. They are even opening stores and websites devoted to sending white people all sorts of tea.

If you find yourself in a situation with a white person, acceptable things to say include “I’m really into tea right now,” or “my favorite thing is to get a nice cup of tea and curl up in a chair with a good book.” But do not remind them about the role of colonialism in tea, it will make them feel sad.

Orange Pekoe is just a grade of black tea. There is no orange in it. Chai literally means ‘tea’; spiced Indian tea is called ‘masala chai.’

Real tea snobs are like wine-drinkers, they not only know how tea is made white/green/black/oolong, they are familiar with tea-growing regions and may even buy from specific estates. They might also drink teas in the ‘proper’ regional way: drinking green straight on tatami they installed in their home for just this purpose, or taking 30 minutes to make masala chai from whole spices ground with a mortar and pestle.

It’s a lot like drinking soda, except it takes longer and they can feel cultured.

[…] Tea: Back in the old days, white people would go all over the world to get teas from places like India and Sri Lanka… But as we moved forward, white people were like “man, one kind of tea is not enough, we need more.” And now people are into Green Tea, Chamomile, Chai, White Tea, Red Tea, Jasmine Tea, Oolong Tea, Black Tea, Orange Pekoe… do not remind them about the role of colonialism in tea, it will make them feel sad. [Link] […]

What I really hate are white people who shun coffee, but drink tea by the gallon. I’ll only drink tea if I’m in an ethnic restaurant that doesn’t have any coffee, then later make a trip to a Cuban cafetería to grab a condensed shot of #1 on your list.

Coffee and black tea need sugar to me.
Raw sugar is da best.
But, I like cow milk too
in a tall glass
and strong ginger beer
and birch beer too
tea is OK, but
nothing beats a Coca Cola
made with real cane sugar
I like the way
it dissolves my teeth
removes stains or
cleans the toilet bowl
Now, that’s good stuff.

My family drinks tea religiously. One cup in the morning, one cup after dinner, one cup before bed. During the winter, we’ll have several more cups a day in between. And it’s always Lipton black with milk and two teaspoons of sugar. I’ve also branched out to Earl Grey and Irish Breakfast, but my parents stick to Lipton.

Oolong ftw. White people are “into” tea one of two ways: 1. To demonstrate how down they are with Eastern cultures (see also: shops at Teavana). 2. To demonstrate how rarefied and English they are, just havin a cuppa, yeah?

It’s the equivalent of having been to Prague so you come back drinking stupid beer in order to remind everyone you were abroad.

I think white people love fishing. Actually the world over loves fishing, its a lovely activity. What white people really love is catch-and-release fishing. Thats where you spend a fortune on gear, like waders, a fly-rod, and a vest, then only fish topwater cause its harder, and when you finally catch a stocked fish in an overfished strech of private water under the tender tutalage of your personal guide, you gently caress the fish without lifting it from its home, then let it off the barbless hook unharmed. No messy eating of the fish later to add guilt, revulsion, or PCBs to the process.

I’m a serious contender for coolest white person ever. Drinking tea just solidifies it. I buy tea at Tea Source instead of Teavana and in addition to having traditional Western tea accoutrements, I have a Chinese tea set that is very cool because it was brought here in the 70’s, not made for recent export.

check “The Third Man” by Graham Greene (also a celebrated Orson Welles film – there’s my caucasian film snob coming out again) – it’s a noir crime thriller set in Vienna after WWII, and there’s a young czech actress who is absolutely mystified by her limey fans’ tendency to send her presents consisting of different varieties of tea; she would prefer flowers, of course. So you see, the tea thing is not merely a “white” thing, but it’s actually an “uber white” thing – we anglo saxons can out-white all the rest of you milquetoast, lily livered “white” people any day.

Guilty as charged. I love tea and we have about a dozen different kinds. However, I do have to defend myself and the happy hubby in that coffee is too strong and doesn’t sit well with us. So what to do about the caffeine fix? And hot bevs in the winter?

You can’t lay all this at our door, most cultures love their tea as well, but I guess we are guilty having the extreme number of different kinds. Fun blog. LMAO.

Bonus points if you prepare it by putting whole leaves into a mesh stainless steel ball and dropping it into a cup. Or any non-traditional contraption will do. If you must use tea in individual “flo-thru” bags, they should be those triangular silk bags with whole leaves.

Teas of this variety can be found at usual suspect stores like Williams-Sonoma or Cost Plus World Market. Don’t pay any less than $5.95 a box.

This is so true! I am white but I LOVE tea. Black tea more specifically, not that semi-fermented, overpriced, green stuff.

I drink a lot of beer and something about tea would always help chase my hangover away quicker the next day, after doing some research I found out its not my perception: tea helps prevent some damage to the liver from alcohol, among many other health benefits.

Tea is so much better for your than coffee and the buzz, although it takes longer to get to, is awesome. Its really like an antidepressant I’d imagine. Sure you’ll have to pee a lot to get to this buzzed state but when you do you’ll feel “high on life”.

While at work listening to NPR on my computer and reading this blog, I overheard a lesbian-looking (no makeup, bad haircut, thick rimmed glasses, baggy dress and married…. maybe this should be a white person thing too) saying to someone, “I just put on a pot of Pomegranate Tea!”

Someone on here mentioned iced tea. Erm, hello?!
Iced tea ought to be classified as anti-tea. I think the only place you can buy it is the USA.
If you were to ask for iced tea in most places in England, you’d be either laughed at or sectioned in a psychiatric unit, due to your obvious mental health problems.

England drinks a lot of tea, but usually of the black variety. I suppose that is down to our colonial past, and the number of tea plantations we erected in India and Sri Lanka. Hundreds of years ago (in 1658, to be precise) London was opening it’s first tea houses. Originally, the vast bulk of tea was imported from China, but as the East India Company’s tea nursery in Assam grew more plants, imports changed. By 1888 British tea imports from India were for the first time greater than those from China.

In 1851, when virtually all tea in Britain had come from China, annual consumption per head was less than 2lbs. Bt 1901, fuelled by cheaper imports from India and Sri Lanka (then called Ceylon), another British colony, this had rocketed to over 6lbs per head. Tea had become firmly established as part of the British way of life.

What you might be able to start to understand from this is that more than one type of tea is not a middle-class nonsense – if you really are a tea drinker, you’ll know your Assam from your Darjeeling from your Ceylon from your blends (such as Earl Grey, my favourite).

This is where you proved your whiteness moreso than me if there are varying degrees of it. Like I said I drink tea for it’s homepathic remedies. So whether it is considered uncouth in certain circles if it is iced or not is not of concern to me. I enjoy cold beverages and iced tea is fantastic*.

*But not that sweet-tea shit. Leave it to the south to take a very healthy product and F it all up by adding too much sugar or frying it. I’d bet they would deep fry tea too if they could.

This is where you proved your whiteness moreso than me if there are varying degrees of it. Like I said I drink tea for it’s homeopathic remedies. So whether it is considered uncouth in certain circles if it is iced or not is not of concern to me. I enjoy cold beverages and iced tea is fantastic*.

*But not that sweet-tea shit. Leave it to the south to take a very healthy product and F it all up by adding too much sugar or frying it. I’d bet they would deep fry tea too if they could.

White people also like referencing others – especially celebs – who drink tea, for two reasons. 1) to name-drop, and 2) to let listeners know they are in the know about the significance of tea, and its superiority to other hot sipping beverages. I met a C-list actor once who needed me to know Liam Neeson was a casual acqaunitance of his. When we crackers were talking about tea after dinner, he slides into the conversation, “blah blah blah… herbal tea is wonderful… Oh sure, absolutely – Liam and Natasha drink tea…Absolutely they do…” I use that phrase all the time now about Liam and Natasha. It’s great.

I like the very British way of making tea, with it brewing so long that the teaspoon stands up in it, then a dash of milk and two sugars.
But I also like all those fancy green-chai-white-everything else kinds.

As a kid I always preferred water to the teas offered at Chinese restaurants, especially when the food is soooo spicey! Now that I’m older…. I interned at this major company once. They offered a large selection of teas. I tried them all… I didn’t like any of them… they put too much stuff in them! Some don’t actually have tea leaves in them!! I stuck to green tea for a while… good for you…energy, that sort of thing. A while ago I sat down with my parents at a Chinese restaurant…and had the tea. I actually liked the taste and sort of missed it. I asked what it was… Oolong. I drink a cup every morning. I prefer it to coffee… too strong, have to take it with cream and sugar. Tastes great with oily salty foods.

White people are also really into grammar, and this webpage has a lot of errors, especially comma splices and run-on sentences (e.g., “But do not remind them about the role of colonialism in tea, it will make them feel sad.”).

Indian Spice Chai with raw sugar and whole milk (organic, of course) by Celestial Seasonings, bought at Publix because Earth Fare doesn’t carry that particuler brand- the chicory is the secret to the perfect chai blend…it’s the latest addition to our tea drawer. Also in our tea drawer: chamomile, sleepy time, tension tamer, peppermint, earl grey (bergamot), cinnamon apple, and a couple sleeves of tea biscuits. The electric kettle has a permanent place on the counter. How very white of me!

I love tea, especially iced. (That could be a Southern thing–I’m not sure. As a side note, I hate sweet tea with a passion. It’s nasty.) But I have pretty simple taste in tea–I prefer black, particularly Earl Grey. I always over-steep my tea, as someone mentioned above. I like really strong tea. I also don’t understand putting milk in tea. Admittedly, I’ve never tried it, but it seems like a bad combination somehow.

Also, I much prefer tea to coffee, though I will concede that I love Starbucks. I put artificial sweetener in both beverages–is that a white thing?

If you are white and from Arizona or most of the Southwest, you like Iced Tea. Proper varieties are Lipton or Tetley, with no sugar and maybe lemon if you are a sissy. It should not be confused that the name and the ingredients by amount are in the same order i.e. fill the glass with ICE then add TEA!

This Argentine polo player I dated gave me a tin of tea once, but it looked like yucky tobacco so I gave it to the maid. Isn’t tea in little paper bags with strings or something? I had a cup like that once when we had to go Dubai. OMG, gross!

A couple of notes. I agree with the reader who said that this list is really about White yuppies (or their equivalents).

Second, on tea–this is perhaps an American White yuppie issue. Tea is the most drunk drink in the world, following water. Tea is really a coloured person’s drink. Coffee is generally White folk’s domain, although White folk in Turkey and Greece would be exceptions, definitely.

But I’ll go this far with you: many White yuppies like to say the phrase “chai tea” (redundant, as “chai” means “tea”… almost like ordering “pasta spaghetti” except that, at least, spaghetti is a *type* of pasta, whereas chai is a generic word meaning all tea) or order “chai lattes”. Just ask for “chai masala” if you must, which essentially means “spiced tea.”

In my travels in the US, it’s damn next to impossible to get a decent cup of tea. Plus, Americans from whom I order tea always ask me, “*Hot* tea?” I know these folks don’t mean any harm, and they’re not bad people. But since they don’t ask someone ordering coffee, “*Hot* coffee?” I wish they could give me a break and use logic. “Tea” is a hot beverage. “Iced tea” (also called “ice tea”) is a cold beverage. No one orders “hot iced tea,” so I think that saying “tea” really should be sufficient.

This is so funny. A lot of people expect me to drink a lot of tea, because I comply with other white characteristics such as loving Netflix and writer’s workshops and having gay friends, but it is at tea I must draw the line: with a resounding, “Naw, B, no tea fo’ me,” I hereby resign from the white species to become whatever race like hot chocolate better. Eskimos?

Has tea made some sort of a big surge in white America since I have been away? I have been living in Ireland for the past 6 years.Ireland by the way is the only place on earth where white people drink more tea than England. When I left White Americans drank coffee, I still do. Have i missed something? by the way if you are coming to Ireland and cannot live without “proper American coffee” bring your own

I can’t help it…my tea addiction is worse than my love of item #33!! It’s just not a good day without it–although it’s got to be iced tea (I don’t know if that’s a white thing or not). Don’t give me that Snapple s**t either, where all you taste is preservatives and sweetener, I want fresh brewed (Teavana, Starbucks, Ito En)!!! If it’s not coming from loose tea stored in a humidor it’s just c**p…

LOL I love the “make them feel sad” part. By the way, has anyone here tried cold brewing iced tea? Just pour water into a pitcher, add one teaspoon of tea leaves (or one teabag) per cup, leave in fridge overnight, and “voila” (white people love words borrowed from French), iced tea without so many nasty tannins, and without having to boil water (white people love energy conservation). To drink just strain as you pour (or don’t bother straining if you used teabags). You know, I think white people might also like recipes.

I WAS going to say, another bullshit post, as everybody knows where tea has originated from and where 90% of it is drunk, but where this blog is right is the ridiculous abundance of different expensive KINDS of tea that are created solely for white people’s pleasure. Oh well, supply and demand. Someone in Asia is cashing in.

I just have to add that I am beyond whiteness – I have over 20 kinds of tea at home and another 5 kinds in my desk drawer at work. Two cups every morning and two cups every afternoon and two cups after dinner and two cups before bed….shall I keep going?

Being of Scots/Irish descent I cannot abide English breakfast tea, but must have Irish breakfast tea. Is anyone whiter than one whose ancestors left Ireland and Scotland? If you don’t talk about your skin cancer daily you are not white enough; Solumbra fabric clothing is a must for the true White. I enjoy smearing zinc oxide (the real white stuff, not that clear faux variety) on myself often. I am presently listening to Mozart and enjoying a cup of blueberry tea since it is late in the evening and I must sleep soon…no one is whiter than I.

Count me in…again. Also the sandwiches, the bit about living next to the water, loving Japan, dinner parties, wearing shorts, just about everything except the guilt ridden liberal blogs. Maybe I like Tea so much because it’s flavored with oppression? Or maybe it’s just good:)

i generally dont drink black tea (aka most european & south asian teas), and when you drink asian teas (aka from china or japan) you dont put milk or sugar in the tea, unless you’re a dumb white person, though i guess u could be a dumb person of any color.

Oh no, somebody mentioned Harney and Sons. I love their tea.
ps. this blog is totaly cracking me up…. it’s like somebody crawled in my brain and wrote down all of the things i like. it comes across a little harsh at times, but the simple truth is that i’m white and like all the things on this blog.
pps. and john stewart is the perfect man.

of course you can’t explain why tea has a colonial heritage or exploitative present more than coffee or chocolate, or why ‘designer’ tea (or indeed chocolate or coffee) is more exploitative than the non pedigreed red blooded common man varieties (stuff red blooded men like?)

cuppajoe (java) anyone?

on the other hand pretending, while not striving, to be better than your average joe is a common and welcome theme in this blog

as for non camelia sinensis ‘tea’, it is arguably less exploitative cuz you can grow it yourself.

You can only get iced tea in America because it ORIGINATED in America. At the turn of the last century. Some dude at the World Fair was trying to sell tea in the summertime, and nobody would buy it because it was very hot out. So he got desperate and dumped it over ice. Voila, people bought it.

I prefer to think of it as a ‘uniquely American’ beverage rather than ‘some horrible bastardization of proper tea’. Although the damn Northerners up here don’t know how to make proper iced tea; it is not sweet enough.

Actually sweet tea “made with too much sugar” is not proper sweet tea. The tea is usually made sweet during the boiling/steeping process. “Sweet tea” that is just normally brewed tea with more sugar added after it is chilled tastes wrong to most Southerners accustomed to the beverage.

I get extra whiteness points for drinking Lapsang Souchong, which sets me apart without effort or merit, which is what whiteness is all about. I’ve yet to find another person who can even tolerate its smell, let alone taste it.

I am white and I love coffee and tea, but I am not that white because my husband is black and I like my tea the same way. I also like this blog a lot, but I am unsure if this blog is something other white people like.

I am not guilty and don’t care much about colonialism because, even though I am white I am not Anglo-Saxon. People from the Mediterranean area are not that guilty about much and we don’t feel sad usually.

Please don’t tell white people how much water is diverted from poor people’s supply of clean drinking water to make coffee and tea. Then they will REALLY be sad.

The fragrance of Lapsang Souchang mirrors that of tarred marline, a twine used by sailors of yore to parcel and lay standing rigging on sailing vessels. Is there a physical connection between the tea brought from the Far East and the ships of the Far East India Trading Company, the prime conduit for said beverage? I wonder…..

As a white person who consumes about 25 different types of tea per year, I have to agree with this list. I can’t drink coffee because it makes me twitchy and hurts my stomach, but tea (especially decaffeinated) is great.

I’m curious as to why certain white people get angry when you put milk or sugar into your tea? I usually drink mine black, but certain teas (chai and Earl Grey are two that immediately spring to mind) aren’t really complete without milk and sugar. Get off your high horse!

You dropped the ball here on #13. Nothing uniquely ‘white’ about drinking tea. Most of the world drinks tea. Count me in as one of them. I still love your blog, but surely you can come up with better white-ism’s than this one.

Afternoon Tea or High Tea is what should be uniquely ‘white’ for white americans because it is something I don’t see back home even though tea houses and afternoon teas are becoming more popular. In Hong Kong, afternoon tea is a must every day. Whenever I go to have afternoon tea, I see alot of white faces a midst of chinese ones. My face… the only black face. LOL

Oh, but they forgot the “Other Cultures” aspect (see the listing regarding being the only white person in a restaurant). You know liberal urban whites only drink it because it’s got the diversity is cool factor.

Ive come on this to the conclusion that the reason white people like all of the shit on this website is the following:
If you got it like that why not experience more with your life.
Shit I golf, snowboard, rockclimb, mountain bike, live in manhattan, drive a fat asS bmw suv, fuck asian women, have plenty of black friends, got sweaters and motherfuckin t-shirts that I’LL wear on a plane to San FraCisco if I damn well fell like it. Shit Ill Even invite my lawyer to my beach house on a sunday for coffee maybe some tea while we read the fuckin New York Times. Yes the Liberal rag that sweats Barack Obama. After that we will indulge in some microbrews on my vintage sail boat.

When I get Bored ill travel the fuck where I want probably to snowboard somewhere usually Utah the whitest fuckin state there is. Ill take in some wine before I watch a film at sundance while I am there.

Just for a challenge I will go to a farmers market get some organic shit go home and order some sushi. You see I am trying to get in shape to run a fuckin marathon. After I finish the first thing I am going to do is shut of my i-pod loaded with free music, grab some bottled water and spark a fat mother fuckin spliff!!!!

YEAH I LOVE BEING AWARE OF DIVERSITY.

HOWEVER THE IRONY OF THIS WHOLE THING IS BEING WHITE FOR ME ONLY FOR ME!!! kICKS BIGTIME ASS!!

Not to be a snob, but more of an informative point maker (awkward phrasing) but most of the tea that us “crackers” drink is not tea at all, just herbal blends.
Tea is actually the product of one plant, the Camillia sinensis, which, when using its most specific definition, is only used to make the teas that come from China, parts of Korea, Taiwan, and Japan. Furthermore, when one thinks of tea in the West, one usually means black tea, and a really poor version of it. Speak of “fannings,” one is really speaking of the dregs of the tea world.
Lets be more expansive in our tastes in tea but more specific in its definition. Hopefully, this will move tea back to its Asian origins and into the hands of people who really know what tea is about (old farmers/teamasters in China, Korea, Taiwan, Japan, and the various other historical tea producing regions found in East Asia who still make it the traditional way).

LOL “But do not remind them about the role of colonialism in tea, it will make them feel sad”…

Its kind of funny about that because just about anything that anyone is “into” has come off the backs of some poor, pathetic schmuck who has been subjugated and forced to produce something for the wealthy, pampered populations in every country (white or not).

Its not the best circumstances, nor the prettiest– but hey there it is.

I personally like to think about the slave labor that went into my “made in china” cup and savor all the delicate flavors of tea that stems from the colonial oppression of various cultures. There is a lot of friggin’ history that went into this particular cup of satisfaction.

And therefore, I am going to enjoy it.

Different cultures and such have sold their own people out for generations for economic gain lol. It doesn’t make me sad to think about all the pain and suffering that went into my tea!!

are you serious? your sitting here, telling the comedian he is wrong? its a joke! its all a commentary on stereotypical, upper-middle class white people. I LOVE tea! I know hoards of other white people in the middle/upper classes that LOVE tea. its all a joke. white people, according to this sight, love coffee too. Most people are either a coffee or a tea drinker, not both. Doesn’t matter to the people on this sight. y’know why? its all a joke. so just go with it. and don’t make stupid comments like “big suprise.” idiot.

This one I had to laugh at, as a lifelong tea drinker. It’s true of a small minority. An easy way to tell the difference between a white person who really is a lifelong tea lover who savors varieties as though they were wine, and a person who is just following a trend is actually to bring up colonialism. See if they know anything about it. Can they discuss it intelligently? Also, a great many Asian people I have known also loved tea. Of different types.

lol white people get so upset when you call them out on their generally true generalizations cuz unlike the rest of us, they aren’t used to it. better get used to it white man, you have nothing over any other race and eventually your only gifts, symbolically pasty skin and mastery over the world trade language, aren’t going to be enough of a bubble for you to ride above the rest of us anymore. and yes white people love their CHAI. they are now putting green tea in everything from shampoo to green tea proactive? come on. please.

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There is only one type of tea, and that is leaves from the camellia sinensis. Fully oxidized leaves are considered black tea, partially are oolong tea, unoxidized are green tea. White tea is young tea that is picked and quickly steamed – thus being the ‘freshest’ tea. Anything not from the camellia sinsensis plant is merely an inferiour herbal tissane.

Based on the climate, soil and production method each variation can taste very different.

It’s much more complicated, but you probably wouldn’t understand about leaf types, tips, regions, etc..

I’m not into your racist BS and was frankly turned off by your list. I’m white and I know white people. When I failed to see “hookers” and “cupcakes” in your top 10, you lost all credibility with me.. then to read this post about my beloved tea.. I had to take action. White people love taking action when no action is needed. Where is that on your list?

Tea is ultra FAB!
As I sip my morning cup I would like to inform all the tea enthusiasts that the brand Twinings is either really good or really bad.
I tend to side on the really good angle because it does not over steep.
Specifically their Earl Grey, generally Earl Greys get bitter quick but this one is good to the last drop.

1) Boil the kettle
2) Pour the water over the bag (not loose leafs, too messy)
3) Leave it for a bit, usually until it starts to turn the cup medium to dark brown.
4) Pour enough milk in it to necessitate slurping some out before you can safely lift the mug.
5) (Optional due to unavailability in some areas) Dunk a coupler of Jammy Dodgers in it until nice and soggy, alternate bites of Soggy Dodger and sips of correctly made tea.
5) (in cases of Jammy Dodgers not being available) Gulp the stuff down then go make another.

i have friends (yeah, not just one) who were shocked to find orange pekoe tea do not taste like orange … people expect tea to taste like cordial with a hint of tea flavour, but not tea for what it is 😉

Poncy tea drinking is a normal working-class habit in England (you don’t have to be an educated, middle-class, organic, vegetarian, liberal…) , but please note that the correct (!) way to make your tea is in a POT and you PUT THE MILK IN THE CUP BEFORE YOU POUR THE TEA IN.

Question: when I hear Americans say ‘cream and sugar?’ are they really intending to put cream in tea (yuk) or do you really mean milk?

Suggestion: if you have them in USA try dipping digestive biscuits in your tea. This makes an excellent meal-subsititute.

Tetley, one of the major tea-brands sold in England (and let’s face it, we drink a lot of this stuff) is now owned by an INDIAN company named TATA. This company also owns another famous UK brand, Land Rover, so it seems that the colonial circle is now coming back to itself…

Camelia assamica is more correctly named C. sinensis assamica, because it is a variant of C. sinensis rather than being a separate plant. C. sinensis sinensis, assamica and parvifolia are all used to make tea.

I think I’ve figured out my problem with this site: it should really be titled, “Stuff White Americans Like”. This particular entry is a prime example.

The problem is that this American (and maybe Canadian?) tea stereotype only makes sense because you’re talking about a coffee-centric culture and thus tea is something that a lot of Americans get into in exactly the way you described. However, I’m from the UK and that stereotype just doesn’t exist because the entire country already drinks tea, but not 25 different types of gourmet shit, just tea: low quality black tea, in a bag, from one of the three or four brands in the supermarket. No white Brit would ever remark to another white Brit that they’re “really into tea right now”. It doesn’t make sense.

You’re right Matt about the problem here; it seems one must be American to be ‘white’. But, I used to work with a lad from Tamworth who was ‘into’ tea. He’d talk about it like some people talk about wine. He’d get upset if somebody made a cuppa and didn’t warm the pot, called teabags ‘only dust’ and considered putting milk in tea to be ‘brutal’.

My wife insists on Earl Grey for Breakfast and it must be served to her in bed. Futhermore, the shop bought stuff isn’t good enough so I have to blend our own.

To do this I purchase the finest organic rain-forest grown tea (Nth Australia) then add (a secret amount of) the purest cold-pressed Italian Calabrian Bergamot oil. Shake for an hour or so, and store in a air-tight container in a cool dark location.

This is very much true. I do have a habit, when I am in a situation that I would like to be removed from, in my longing I will declare, “Universe, why have you brought this annoying group of classmates among me? Don’t you know that all I want is some Chi tea and a place to sit and read pretentious and bizarre books? It’s all I ask for! And perhaps a candle to burn!” ( I trust you have a section specially for the White Peoples loves of candles)

which ethnicity/race in the world DOESN’T drink tea? This one is just plain stupid.
Go to Senegal and see if you can make it an hour without being offered tea. The whole Indian Subcontinent. All of Asia. Little old ladies in Trinidad and Tobago.
Those Mongolian nomads sure are white.
Kurds, they drink about 100 little glasses of tea a day, but they do look kind of light.
Come on now, this one was just silly.

As a 22 year old man of East African Descent who has a white grilfriend from Canada, I just wanted to add that all the countries you have mentioned were colonised in the past by western imperialists. Senegal in West Africa I believe is a French Colony and They do drink a lot more tea now because of the heavy french influence they’ve had in their culture. Before British and French setllers colonised the continent we certainly never took as much tea as we do here in East Africa…

Not colonialism itself, but people getting really into shit, feeling really enlightened or something while not considering how this “world view” choice or interest of whatever else one may label it is really just part of some highly developed bullshit that has been happening for a long time.

That being said, I still enjoy many parts of this list, not the stuff about showing off money though, that’s just lame.

okay, you got me, i’m white, i have a cabinet full of like 15 kinds of tea, i go to my LOCAL coffee house, I live two blocks from the farmers market, to which i ride my bicycle.. I have a TV, but only get the five local stations, so i read books, I listen to NPR, i love jazz, I wear cardigans, and i own more scarves than i do shoes…because i knit them…. oh an my husband and i play disc golf on weekends, and in the winter we snowboard… i get it, i’m white… what do you want from me?

ah, here’s the tea post. I can’t say I like a hot cup of tea when reading a book, or whatever. Generally throughout the work day, and school day I drink about 8 cups of hot green tea, and usually 2-4 cups of white tea. Rishi is about the lowest I go when it comes to quality. Tazo and anything below is meh.

As I read a lot of these, it seems more “social class” than “white” that you are talking about. african americans, asians, latinos can all fall into similar preferences of consumer goods, and whites can fall into disliking such goods. I think this blog is a lot more about social class, than the whites. However, it’s still effing amusing.

Indeed they do – my in-laws, who are West Indian, aren’t much into coffee but always are drinking tea. I find it interesting that white people (in general) have not yet attempted to acquire a taste for Mauby tea. I predict that once it gets some sort of media exposure, maybe a mention in a successful Indie movie, there will be plenty of mellow white people trying their best to enjoy the stuff.

No, we get the joke about white people all of a sudden becoming tea freaks. But it’s also obviously true that white people consume way less tea than the rest of the world, particularly Asia. This makes the joke a little less funny.

[…] 10, 2009 at 6:12 pm · Filed under Festival, SWPL #13 Tea According to SWPL “It is a known fact that white people consume, on average 25 different teas in a given year.” If you are behind on your recommended annual intake don’t fret you have your chance to catch […]

Yeah, guilty here of drinking tea, hot, iced, etc. No coffee for me. Love the single estate hand picked sort that costs $100/pound. Nothing like savouring a cup of hot tea knowing that it was hand picked by an non-white non-male halfway around the world for pennies a day. Ahhhhh, brings back memories of that trip to India when a took a year off to teach English and then got involved with some Krishna cult and ended up growing organic veggies in Vermont before going to rehab then to grad school for finance. Anyone hiring unemployed bankers?

Speaking of African teas you guys should try out Rooibos tea from the Cedarberg mouintains in South Africa. It has a unique, smooth taste – but also a lot of anti-cancer properties and no caffeine. Kalahari Tea (http://www.kalaharitea.com) has one of the best Rooibos selections I’ve had.

obviously not all white people are going to like all things on the list… it’s funny because there is really not a defined white culture and therefore not as many well known stereotypes as there are for other races… and generally this list is pretty true and really hilarious

the thing is that white people in history and sometimes now are the “social class” and what is white anyway? not all of these things are going to apply to every white person and some will apply to not white people, its not the point

Indians (the folks from the Indian subcontinent) routinely drink tea with milk, sugar, and spices. They are not white skinned, and I suspect they were doing this before the European colonialists showed up.

hopefully the joke is that white americans will pay wayyy too much money for tea (and coffee, ·1) and not that drinking these drinks makes them queer, elitist, or unique. go to china or india or england or many parts of africa and you cant get away from the shitty leaf drink. go to just about any place in latin america and you cannot go 10 minutes without being offered a up of coffee.

The Chinese were the first to drink tea, although colonialism is what brought tea to India (the British figured it would be more profitable to grow their own). And Indian tea is what most Americans and Europeans drink–many people are surprised to find that Chinese black teas usually lack the bitterness and strength of Indian and Sri Lankan black teas.

I think it would be entirely fair to say that white people love white tea. This white guy does, anyway.

I’m black and drink green tea everyday (which i sweeten with raw organic agave nectar). People from every continent drink various types of tea and have been drinking it for a very long time. It doesn’t make you special or anything, but it does benefit your health.

You must know the right kind of white people, for only they would have introduced agave to you. The wrong kind of white people use processed white suger, which of course inflames the guilt of the right kind of white people because of the exploitation of the poor South Americans and Indians who grow and harvest it.

Um…I’ll stick to the coffee. I know the grade school rhyme about this topic: “Coffee, tea, sodie pop, p–“. I like teas, esp. on insomniac nights when I wanna go to sleep, and my grandparents from Ok. use to mail the tea packages in a cardboard box. I never knew Alda sells them for less than what the blogger’s friends are drinking. +

…and Arizona, where the iced tea brand derives its name from (LoL), iced tea is great with lemon and raspberry mixed together…and fast food places carry Lipton diet teas. Oh yea, I can’t be white now, but Kenyans like the paternal side of our president, drink tea (and pick the tea leaves). +

visit teaberry’s in flemington, n.j. and you will see the art of tea drinking in all its colonial glory epitomized – it attracts the whitest of the whities – quite the time travel machine backwards to an era where women still gave birth with a hot iron stick and scalding water

also, white people assume that if you are asian, you know EVERYTHING there is to know about tea. … uh, false!! drink on my milky toned friend, every informed person knows most tea leaves made in china are sprayed heavily with pesticide… no likey your tea now?

Nope, ask any British bloke on the subject, the world’s main consumer of tea (another pushed stereotype). The whole global British empire was funded by tea cultivation, sales and production. Anyone recall Ceylonese (er, Sri Lankan) teas favored by the Brits? I thought Britain had a wet cold climate for coffee in a way Seattle is known for. +

Orange Pekoe is not an exotic variety of tea. It refers to a way of cutting/processing it. Most of the common teas like Lipton or the crappy generic tea you get from the supermarket are Orange Pekoe. Research!

Michael on August 16, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Sorry, that’s how I get through life. At work, in school and with other people. More of a Californian thing, if I wasn’t in the state of Cal. I wouldn’t be required to, then I’m one of those autistic nerds or something tries to get by in life. I’m a product of my own environment, middle-class people get down on their luck and have to face reality. I share this guy’s sarcastic sense of humor on how he perceives the world through a “white man’s” comical point of view. +

See autism boy, I can dig up alot more on your dumb ass if you continue with this race shit that you started.

isn´t it funny (ironic…) to see a google advertisement for Tea under this article. Especially for “pure tea” the slogan is like “discover the variety and purity of organic tea” (translated from german).
haha. very good blog – all the best

My nationality is Eurasian or Asiatic (Kazakh & Mongolian) and I must say people from my part of the world drink more tea than any of the white people I’ve heard of. In our culture the first thing one does when a guest comes by is put on a huge 10-litre samovar of tea…

I hear it is similar for other Eurasian countries, for most East Asians, central Asians, Middle Easterners, lots of African countries’ peoples too. As far as I know the white West has caught on fairly recently, and with little enthusiasm. More accurately, I would say it is a white people’s pretense to say they enjoy tea, when they actually mean expensive herbal teas or highly flavoured mixed teas and fair trade teas… in fact most couldn’t even tell you the difference between how black and green teas are processed, or what long-fermented vs. short-fermented oolongs mean. So drinking tea itself is most likely a thing more spread around non-whites… and, used as something to make whites pretend they are more cultural.

Just the other day I was drinking tea while eating toast and marmalade and wearing a calico apron. I commented on how much I appreciate the spoils of imperialism. However, I’m the worst kind of white; a Canadian who resents not being British.

well i like tea. i’m guilty. but i’ve been that way my whole life, it’s how my [English] culture is. *not including the people who are allergic to tea or the very rare ones who don’t like it* telling an English person to stop drinking tea cos it’s too white is like (well i think) telling an Asian person that noodles are now off limits
but most American teas in the little packet things do suck so if someone likes that just to be cool, their weird.

I must have a black ancestor in me, because I have never liked tea (or much of anything on this list). Maybe I’m just the wrong type of white person? In fact the only thing on this blog, as a white person, is Arrested Development. It must be my Yaqui blood…

your right the expensive stuff does taste better… plus you get to buy another gadget to collect all the loose tea and contain it in the mug or teapot. Personally my tea steeper sits on top of my stove so that anyone who comes into my house can see that we “only buy the good stuff” ; )

The site isn’t really about race, but about a certain type of person. “White” people could be any color, and most of the things aren’t bad to like on their own, it’s just the way in which they are liked that makes them part of a cohesive group. It seems that who the author has pegged are people who make an effort to like things because they associate them with being “cultured” or “educated.” They are actively working to create an image of themselves that puts them on a higher social level. This is the constant struggle of the middle class.

“Arrested Development,” for example, is the product of writers with an honest intent to create a funny show, not to please “White” people, but I think the attraction for the people the author describes is that it is about a rich family that doesn’t really have to worry about money and so can do all kinds of ridiculous things outside of the bounds of reality. “White” people, as defined here, also seem to be intent on avoiding mundane reality.

Basically, I think this describes a certain sect of the American (upper?) middle-class, many of which might also happen to be Caucasian.

Alright, we get it that you are white but you don’t like tea. Whatever. This site is for most of white people, but obviously it doesn’t address every white person in the face of the planet. Just because you don’t like tea, or film festivals, or anything on this website, doesn’t mean that it makes it untrue. Just get over it and enjoy it.

I do like me some good tea. Tazo had this special holiday blend over Xmas that was AWESOME. However, America tends to drink coffee a hell of a lot more than tea, whereas the inverse is true in most other countries. This actually probably has its roots in the last thing you said, the American Revolution.

The economy in 2010 is so bad, the “Tea parties” are really concerned on how less prosperous the American working class have become. We’re drinking more kool-aid mixed with tap water and to watch a football game on TV, a malt liquor on the side. Malt liquor sales increased 3 times in the last 5 years, in part the decrease in incomes made the cheapest beer not so affordable anymore.

Yeah…It’s getting really weird for me on this site. I buy tea from the Republic of Tea and Stash. I prefer it to coffee, but I will drink coffee if there isn’t any thing else around. @killallhippies, I’m black btw, so your reasoning is incorrect! We like it too! My mother has the most insane tea obssession and we actively discuss it when we have discovered a new kind. I frequently shop at Asian food stores to get my fix for loose tea and I have several infusers.

I think you have all missed the point (especially people like ‘renster’ who insist they are not white). This isn’t just about white folks as we knew them in the early 20th century. Nope, now many people fit into it and by many I have to break it to you…blacks. Yes indeed…blacks left any shred of their masterful selves so far behind that now they too are just as aimless as whites when they look to other cultures for validation. Oh yeah, I am not white, I am not black. I, thankfully, have the burden/baggage of a weighty culture. Oh yeah, I drink tea because that is what we do.

u should go out with asuka CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO HER i saw that look in your eye when she crushed that pop can and explained how training for the attack was a matter of pride. I can tell you liked it when she plugged your nose when she kissed you, don’t try to deny it, idiot. You really admire her. She is the… wait… its not 2015 yet, shit. nevermind, that was all typos, and it wont let me backspace maybe i need to take my keyboard into the dealership. freakin computers, u know?

Half of those teas were invented by the Chinese, hundreds of years before white people knew about them.
And tea has been proven to have various health benefits, along with less caffeine than coffee.
You’re dumb and I can’t believe this many people agree with you/follow you. Not just the tea.

White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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Now how come it’s okay for you ignorant people to make comments like this about “white people”, if it was the other way around you guys would be running to the news, cryin’, Oh, wait, I guess “white people”, can only handle it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your anger would be justified if these were all just stereotypes, but they are all facts that colored people (and white themselves if they stop a moment to watch themselves) observe whenever they come into contact with white people. THAT”S WHY ITS SO FRICKING HILARIOUS!!!

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this,
like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little
bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog.
An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

This is probably the stupidest most assumed, racist, dimwitted thing I have ever read in my entire life and I’m actually in shock of what I just saw. I’m no heckler, I’ve never commented so rudely on something but this article (if that, it’s more of an ignorant paragraph) is absolutely ridiculous! Tea is not a “white person” thing, nor an “asian” thing or any other race. Also, just to mention I am white and I can think of four people I know that like tea at all. No one drinks tea where I am from, and I have no idea where you possibly could have gotten the number 25 as a “well known fact”! Tea is just a plant and a drink that some people like and some people don’t like it doesn’t depend on their race whatsoever. It may depend on your region on whether it’s commonly drank in your area (which for you it seems it is but I can guarantee you that you are not the world as a whole) and stores that specializa sending tea to a single race? What kind of bs is that? Give one legitimate example! Maybe because I’m American and any kind of racial differences don’t make any sense, but I can guarantee you the color of your skin has not one thing to do with what you like to drink. This whole website rubs me wrong, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it come up. And it seems I’m the only comment (that I’ve seen at least) that’s finding anything wrong with it. What’s this “if you’re with a white person bring up tea” nonsense?! It’s a human being have a gosh darn normal conversation!

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[…] #13 Tea | Stuff White People Like – 21.01.2008 · Could not be more true. There are at least 20 kinds of tea at my house. I also know several white people who have given tea gift packs too other … […]

I seriously think the person who made this blog is a racist illuminatti satanist how the hell do you think it’s normal to talk about yourself as a color within race ? you body mean nothing it’s what inside

British snobs aka The East India Thugs made tea a must have among high society. They dealt opium to China to flush out their tea growing knowledge. They were the first drug lords, innovative eh ?
Then on to India thru colonial fascism they rode, to keep the society ladies in tea and dainty sandwiches. Now thru globalism the tradition continues. Choosing, friends, spouses and employees may include their tea savy and knowledge as another shallow yardstick of human value.

Masala chai may not be the premium of tea or the healthiest of it – often the green/oolong/orthodox black are. The black leaf brews up strong yet gentle and thin and can be drank straight or with only a little milk. The way I do it or my father who likes milk in his tea. Some people like to put lots of sugar in the tea and other things and black CTC may be ideal for this, it is more thick and coarse and this is actually more likely the tea that is sold in conventional teabags. Builders brew may get the disapproval although black leaf tea is actually healthy