Spurs set to hire Wembley like a fat lad hires a prostitute

Everyone has a mate. They are a tad overweight. A little bit weird. In their mid 30s. And never get laid. Eventually they crack and go onto adultwork.com. They find a nice cheap Eastern European. Usually Romanian or Bulgarian. They look for the cheapest. £50 for half an hour. Cum twice. Once from a blow job, the second from full sex. And they bite the bullet and pay for it.

We Spurs are that fat mate.

A lack of success over the last half a century, a lack of any sort of major honour over the last quarter of a century, a lack of Wembley visits, have left them in an awful state.

Instead of working at their game, improving, getting fitter, they have taken the easier way out by hiring Wembley for the next season or so. 27 games at full capacity.

Of course, their fans will boast about how they have played at Wembley more than any other club. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t really count if you have to pay for it.

Spurs are the fat lad who never gets laid. The fat lad who has to pay for it. The fat lad who boasts of his ‘success’ to his mates, who get a lot more of real success.

Everyone laughs at Spurs behind his back. They know the truth. A bit of a loser. Always trying to make up silly handshakes. Paying for sex, then boasting about how many different women he is has slept.

Enjoy Wembley Tottenham fans. Enjoy the commute. Enjoy the soulless atmosphere. Enjoy the lack of pubs in the area. Enjoy watching your team get spanked every week. Enjoy the feeling of winning nothing.