CITY ROOM; After Words About Gays, No Shortage Of Opinions

By JAMES BARRON

Published: October 13, 2010

Earlier this week, Carl P. Paladino, the Republican candidate for New York governor, defended comments he had made criticizing homosexuality, including some in which he said the city's gay pride parade was not a place for children -- he said the parade featured participants ''grinding at each other and doing these gyrations,'' something he called ''disgusting.''

The response to the City Room post describing his statements was fast and furious: Hundreds of comments flew in, with wide-ranging opinions from far beyond the New York area. Some agreed or disagreed with Mr. Paladino; some addressed larger issues of society and sexuality. A number of comments -- some defending Mr. Paladino, some attacking him -- contained language that is not published on the City Room blog. They were promptly deleted by the moderators.

But no fewer than 529, at last count, made the cut. Reading through them, one was struck by contradictions that appeared. It almost goes without saying that Mr. Paladino was lambasted by many City Room readers. But some said he had a point. The behavior at gay pride parades clearly troubles many readers, including commenters who described themselves as gay or strong supporters of gay rights -- though some found a double standard when he came to accepting the highly sexualized behavior of heterosexuals.

''I'm a lesbian, but the Pride parade in Chicago this year wasn't really my cup of tea,'' wrote a commenter who signed herself Kirinphoebe and said that ''sometimes Pride parades can be a bit raunchy.

''However,'' she added, ''I defend the rights of the entire lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-queer community to be expressive, open, out and proud in any forum. As for Paladino, he is clueless about diversity in society, bigoted and so homophobic that he certainly should not be in a position to 'represent' the people of any community, no matter what the size.''

Another commenter, Austin, asked, ''Is there anyone out there that thinks it is appropriate for children to watch the stuff that happens at a gay pride parade? The four gay people in my office think that it is a horrible idea. Gay or straight, children don't need to see that sort of behavior. It's gross either way.''

A reader whose screen name is Arpy found it ''amusing'' that Mr. Paladino had raised the gay pride parade issue. ''Apparently, he and the rest of America take no similar offense to the skimpy outfits and overt sexuality that runs on prime time television every night,'' Arpy wrote. ''Have they never taken in the sexual innuendo and compromising positions depicted in a top-rated show like 'Two and a Half Men?'''

Another reader, Michael, said: ''In a multicultural country we need to be tolerant and accepting of people who are different. But that doesn't require us to celebrate their values which differ from ours. Gay pride parades are offensive to me, so I don't attend. I don't need to celebrate gays' sexuality any more than they need to celebrate mine. I'm a 50-year-old, 100 percent heterosexual male who finds 25-35 year-old women attractive. And many people constantly put people like me down for it. 'Dirty old Man,' etc. How about a little tolerance for me? But I understand you don't have to celebrate for me if you don't find me appealing.''

Some readers, challenging Mr. Paladino's claim that children should not be taken to gay pride parades, questioned what children learned from other parades. ''Don't go to Mardi Gras, Paladino,'' wrote a reader who identified herself as Kathleen. ''You will not be happy with that, either.''

Another reader, who signed himself Jack Kerr, wondered about sports events in Mr. Paladino's hometown.

''Has Paladino ever been to a Buffalo Bills football game where skimpily-clad cheerleaders bump and grind?'' he asked. ''Does he believe that cheerleaders should not be allowed to get married? Is he opposed to football games?''

A reader whose screen name is BrianS said, with what was apparently a heavy dose of sarcasm, that ''the groping at the Puerto Rican Day parade and underage drinking and vomiting on St. Paddy's Day are all very appropriate.'' He suggested that Mr. Paladino use the Columbus Day parade, which was heading up Fifth Avenue as BrianS typed out his comment, to ''come out against all parades.''

Some readers suggested that Mr. Paladino tried to shift the focus on Monday. Dave said that Mr. Paladino's Sunday-night remarks to the Jewish leaders ''had nothing to do with the wisdom or bringing a kid to a parade that might have some risque or sexually suggestive elements (and it should be noted, while that IS a part of most pride parades, it's far FAR from the majority of the processions).'' Mr. Paladino's comments, Dave said, were ''far broader, and far more repugnant.''

A reader who signed himself Ted Bradford said Mr. Paladino's comments demonstrated ''just how out of touch he is with the world around him.''

Another reader, who signed himself John, said Mr. Paladino was ''exactly right.''

''If that is the conduct one sees at gay pride rallies,'' he wrote, ''then anyone who brings their child there is nuts.'' He also wrote, ''I would not bring my five-year-old to a strip bar because disrespecting women is a terrible lesson for little kids. I would, however, hire a gay man or woman into my organization, providing they were the best qualified candidate and they were not on some kind of agenda that interfered with their work.''

And then there was ''Lynn in DC,'' who wrote: ''Hateful or not, Paladino is being honest about himself and providing full disclosure so NYers can make an informed choice next month. Don't waste time complaining here, get thee to the voting booth.''

This is a more complete version of the story than the one that appeared in print.

PHOTO: Carl P. Paladino, the Republican nominee for New York governor, campaigning Tuesday in New Paltz as protesters followed him. (PHOTOGRAPH BY NATHANIEL BROOKS FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES)