Saturday, June 2, 2007

Apparently some kid out here stole a 6 pack of beer from a store and is facing ten years in prison so everyone is all up in arms about it. I haven't heard the whole story, but the radio commercial features some guy saying "Can ten years in prison really be the fate of this boy who just made a simple mistake?"Granted, I know that the word mistake and the word accident are not exactly the same, but it pretty much sounds like this guy is trying to convince all of us that this situation is merely an accident. The six pack fell into his pocket and now he has to go to prison for ten years.This just kills me because obviously, it wasn't an accident, it was some stupid kid that wanted a six pack of beer, so he took it. Now everyone is asking why he should get ten years in prison, but I'm asking why he shouldn't? Lets think about this:1. Lets overlook the fact that he's not old enough to LEGALLY (ahem) consume alcohol anyway.2. He freaking stole it.3. He cost the store/owner money.4. In turn that drives up the price for the rest of us. Yeah, its some beer, but realistically, there are plenty of people out there who take what they want and that has a lot to do with driving up prices.Lets review:He has cost everyone else money because he was either a. unable to afford this luxury beverage or b. convinced he would get caught underaged. So we have him guilty of costing money to all parties. NOW. Lets say him and his nerd ass friend (lets face it, they come in at least pairs) decide to polish off two or three a piece. Being 16 year old lightweights (unless they have a criminal history, but we'll assume they don't) they will natually get in a car and see what kind of damage they can cause. When they ram their car into three cars in the middle of an intersection because the driver was trying to imitate the new Ludacris song through armpit farts rather than noticing the red light, then they owe money to:1. The insurance company2. The other people's insurance comapny.3. Probably a hospital.4. Medical insurance companies.That's just money. Probably nine people are dead.So now jerkass has stolen beer to which he is too young to drink. He has cost a lot people money and killed 9 kids in a van on their way back from winning their t-ball tourney.All this mayhem aside, there's the whole ethical issue of the thing. This guy clearly doesn't have a good set of moral values and the real tragedy in that lies in that he can't just go steal some and smoke them in his neighbors basement.My point is that no one is asking any of these questions. Everyone is concerned that his one little "mistake" is ruining his life. Well, okay. What if his one little mistake had been getting in a car drunk and ruining someone elses? You people are a bunch of hippies. Is ten years too much for stealing a six pack? Meh. Maybe. Personally, I think that everyone who commits murder, rape, or any kind of abnormal anything with a child should get the death sentence (yeah, I said it, hippies) so if we can just go ahead and put these new philosophys into motion, I'm sure Bobby teenager won't feel nearly as bad for getting ten years in the ass farm.So here's my solution. Its a compromise. It is a reduced sentence... Five years in prison for Bobby teenager so that people like me and my friends, who work for what we want rather than taking it and/or hurting others to get it, don't have to worry as much about having some punk wannabe steal our car stereos. The other five years will go to Bobby's parents. Well, I've said my piece. I'm sure all the hippies think that I'm a cold hearted bitch but anyone who knows me knows that I don't care what a bunch of tree hugging potheads think anyway.Just try to stay out of the ass farm.

No comments:

Pay Attention:

About Me

-I am, at once, highly ambitious and extremely lazy.
-I like to pick fights with people on Apartmentratings.com.
-I believe in survival of the fittest and eat or be eaten. I think children should be raised to claw their way to the top and know the difference between right and wrong. In that respect, I believe Liberal America is destroying what is great about freedom and about living in general.
-I have never been able to wear high heels for more than five minutes.
-Processed lunch meat makes me think of people who may be missing limbs. This fact disturbs me as much as it just disturbed you.
-The theme song to Unsolved Mysteries has been known to make me cry.
-I once ate a boullion cube.