Why am I coming here if I'm scared of water?

I stare deep into the water, my legs swinging off the newly re-built dock for... Well, I dunno what they're for, boats, I guess! I wore a crystal white bikini top and a cute cow-girl hat and some ripped short-shorts instead of swimsuit bottoms. I never understood why I even CAME here when I was scared of water. I never knew how to swim, my Ma didn't have enough money to pay for lessons when I was little. I'd sink like a rock if I got pushed in there!

I started clicking my tongue, ignoring people who stared as they walked by. Clicking my tongue has always been an annoying habit of mine, it's a fast way to get my energy out. "I could just pass through the dock if I found anybody cute...?" I started blabbering to myself after a while, thinking of random things that made no sense to any other mind.