The Ted Stevens Appreciation Society

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

When the President Comes, He Brings his Friends.

Just had a bodacious flyover by about 10% of the United States AirForce. 8 armed F-15 Eagles, an AWACS radar plane and 2 Presidential helicopters. Couldnt get the Entourage but got the Prez as he flew over Indian Point Nuclear plant.

How much does this little trip to fleet week and a tour of the lower Hudson cost?

8 F-15's, fuel, pilot pay and training ~$120million

1 Beautiful AWACS and 2 Sikorsky's ~$100million

a flight with your buds ~priceless....or hundreds of millions of dollars depending on your point of view.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

We're smarter than the Brazilians...right? Ahh....

I'm sure we all remember the Simpson's episode where Homer crashed his car after a drunken binge. While not condoning drunken driving (stay sober kids!) I liked his idea of shopping around for a deal on a new car (he actually totalled his own and his wife's car in the same accident). Before settling on a gas sucking SUV that could be used as a snowplow (MR.Plow) he talked to a representative about an ethanol powered car. Homer's idea was that he could fill his car and (ethanol being also known as alcohol) fill himself at the same time...back to the drunk driving.

Make no mistake, ethanol is going to be the short term fix to bothglobal warming and making people who hate us rich. Ethanol will make millionaires in the midwest. I have already told you of my beligerance toward SUV drivers, they are supporting Islamo-terrorist organizations therefore they are unpatriotic, no, traitors!!!!

If these people want to become Americans again then they should support American industry by buying American, both vehicle and fuel.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

McCain the so called "Maverick" of the Republican party showed how "maverick" he can be yesterday. After attacking Jerry Falwell and his Bullshit University (yes, I did write BULLSHIT UNIVERSITY) for hijacking the Republican party and leading it astray, the wild man of politics has put down his flaming six-shooters and given Falwell a sloppy big french kiss (yes, I did write that they swapped saliva).

Isn't it awesome to see the straight talk express has pulled into ''rightwingbaseville". Now McCain can't deny hat he will run for president because right at this minute he is bent over a table somewhere in Lynchburg Virginia showing how much respect he has for the lunatic right evangelist\ base of the Republican party.

McCain you are a fake! You are a phony! You are a pandering politician with no integrity!

You were right the first time, Falwell and Co. are "...agents of intolerance...a force of evil."

Remember he is the jerk that derailed the straight talk express by telling his redneck followers that you had a black baby. (McCain has an adopted Asian child.)

How can you now stand up in front of cameras and extoll any virtue about this cretinous xenophobe (yes, I said Falwell is a Xenophobe!)

Have the same balls you had in Hanoi when you underwent years of torture and deprivation. Stand up and show them that they no longer have an office in the Whitehouse.

Great Quote

John Stossel is a WANKER!!!!

Some points he raises in his new book the name of which I refuse to quote here in case there is the slightest possibility of him selling one more copy.

Minimum wage is fine where it is. Raising it will mean people will lose jobs because employers can't afford to pay someone $6.00 per hour. According to John, "minimum wage jobs are an oppurtunity."First of all, any employer paying $6.00 per hour better be a hamburger store (who damn well can afford to pay their employees much more) or hiring illegal immigrants. Either way they are not laying off workers even if the minimum wage goes to $10.00 per hour. Raising the minimum wage is GOOD for the economy. People earning this amount of money do not spend it on French pefume, Italian sportscars or Russian prostitutes. No, these people use their pay to pay ConEd, gasoline for their car (or comutation fares), food for themselves and their children and HEALTHCARE. Boy John you really like to screw the little guys, the battling families don't you. Workers earning minimum wage often do not recieve health benefits from their employer so a substantial amount of their pay goes to making sure they are well.

Second hand smoke doesn't kill anyone. I guess all of the studies by those guys in white lab coats must be bullshit. I wonder why they would make up their results?

Sweat shops are a great oppurtunity for people overseas. This one I can't even comment on.

Gasoline is cheap. Actually on this he is correct. Compare to Europe gasoline is 50 to 80% cheaper here. But then again John, gasoline in Venezuela costs 12c per gallon. So I guees you are partly right and mostly wrong.

I guess gasoline is cheap for people like John Stossel who are given car service by their employer and who earns a sizable salary, gets health benefits and doesn't haveto worry about his kids dying from second hand smoke. Then again the really lucky people are those minimum wage workers who spend 50% of their wage paying for gasto get themselves to an 'oppurtunity.'

Heroin should be legalized. We really have a problem with drugs and kids getting their hands on meth, crack, coke, etc. Sure, legalise pot, but heroin????? Are you a drug dealer John?

Outsourcing is good for America because it creates better jobs here. I would recommend that you never visit my friend Alan Pittman in Rochester NY John. He will rip that 'stache off of your face and feed it to you with a side order of your eyeballs for saying that. Alan worked 26 years for the GM plant in Rochester. He was retrenched when his factory was closed and sent to Mexico along with 50,000 other jobs. His great new job John? Picking golf balls on a driving range. How is a 55 year old man who has lived in Rochester NY his whole life and who has a high school diploma (thats all you needed to get a good paying job under the Nixon administration) supposed to find this mythical 'better job?' Who wants to hire a 55 year old when the plant let go thousands of men and women decades younger than Alan?

John Stossel doesn't live in the real world. John Stossel obviously has never seen the results in Rochester or Flint Michigan. John Stossel has never worked in a sweat shop. John Stossel has never lived on minimum wage. John, being a contrarian brings attention and can be humorous but you are just being a Wanker.

Albany, You are IDIOTS!! No Holds Barred!!!!!!

Now I am really pissed off!!!!!! The goddamned commies running the State have decided that they will cap the state sales tax on fuel. Wow, wonderful you think...NO ITS FUCKING NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tax cap will be halted at 8 cents per gallon or about $1.20 per tank of fuel for the average family car.

Thats not soooooo bad Condor, what's your beef? My beef is that if $1.20 is going to break you every time you fill your tank then you shouldn't be driving! This tax cap helps no-one except politicians. What happens in 6 months time when gas is even higher than it is now? If we are paying $4.00 per gallon in November and the state realizes it needs the income from gas sales tax, what then?

No Albany, this time you have really screwed up! You have tried to help the little guy, the family battling to survive...the battlers, and all you have done is help the jerk who gets 3 miles per gallon in his penis extending (in his mind only) SUV!

Want to help Albany? Try spending the money you would have raisedon implementing alternative fuel types. Ethanol makes sense in the short term and does not cost alot to install the equipment necessary to provide vehicles fueling pumps. If the indusrty is correct then each ethanol pump costs approximately $200,000 to install. ALBANY, SPEND THE GAS TAX ON HELPING TO INSTALL THESE PUMPS!!!!!

Ethanol is a great short term fix to soaring crude prices. Best of all, ethanol can be made from rotting oranges, corn, sugar, potato's or anything that can be fermented. Two other benefits, it is made here in the US and our reliance on Saudi, Iranian and Iraqi oil is G O N E and ethanol is much more environmentally friendly than fossil fuels.

So Albany, put the tax back and spend the bucks on something worthwhile, not the jerk who drives the penismobile in the picture!

On Catherine's Comment.

If there was a C.S.A., their third world citizens would be scrambling under barbed wire in the night to get low-paying lawncare jobs in the more affluent North (she says wistfully...)

Its an interesting idea to run out a little, go long and I'll throw out a spiral.

1. CSA had no (or very little) industry whereas the North was already one of the most industrialised areas of the world. Obviously, the CSA would have had to play catch up but to be honest most of he southern population worked on small farms. Sure with the invention of the gin mill blacks/slaves would have probably fond work in the factories. Interestingly this may have eventually led to higher pay for the sothern black population as they learn skills and the white population stayed on the farms.

2. A conflict would have been inevitible as both countries grew into the western states.

3. A succession of southerners would never have become President of the USA. Imagine a country in which neither George Bush could be elected, no Reagan, no Newt Gingrich (what kind of parent names their kid Newt?) no bullshit.

What a country this could have been. When I see the retarded cowboy from Connecticut I have to wonder, who actually won the Civil War?

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Whats the opposite of smart?????

A long long time ago, in a place far, far away there was a very bad man who took it upon himself to buy the biggest sticks he could and gave them to all his friends. People called these sticks 'Star Wars'. The bad man bought so many of these sticks that his enemies gave up trying to keep up with him and even abandoned their way of life. This was not such a bad thing though because 'democracy' or something close to it, broke out, good times were happening almost everywhere....yada, yada, yada a retarded cowboy came to power and the good times went away again. (Apologies to anyone who has been classified 'retared' if they take offense with GWB being labelled this.)

"In many areas of civil society - from religion and the news media, to advocacy groups and political parties - the government has unfairly and improperly restricted the rights of the people," Mr Cheney said.

Funny, at first I thought he was talking about the Bush administration, curious.

Does anyone else find it amusing that the 'bad boys' in the whitehouse are ruffling the feathers of the Russkies at the same time as they are seeking their assistance to contain Iranian nuclear ambitions, counter Islamic terrorism in Georgia and other former Soviet Republics and turn the gas pipeline back onto the Ukraine. "Are you totally deranged?"

When I was younger and trying to woo a young woman I didn't abuse her because she was mean to her mother. I didn't poke her in the eye when she disagreed with my point of view and I always laughed at her jokes no matter how inane. Why, because she had something I wanted, nay, needed.

If we really need Russia for our global plans, wouldn't it make sense to gently stroke her so we get what we want, nay, need?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Washington D.C.

For all of the stink that politics creates in the nations capital, Washington D.C. is a magnificent city. The Lincoln Memorial is one of the most spectacular places it has been my privilege to lay eyes upon. I'm sure those who have laid eyes upon the Taj Mahal will yawn but I am blown away. As you climb the steps to the monument, Lincolns eyes are looking down upon you, almost judging you. 'Are you worthy of being in my presence' is the feeling I had as I climbed to his feet.

Many will say that Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, etc are the fathers of your nation but I disagree. Lincoln watched as half of the nation become the Confederate States of America (C.S.A.) and secede from the union. Only his determination and will power were able to reunite the house that stood divided. Where would the United States of America be today if the C.S.A. were still around? I would argue that the USA would be in a far better place than the CSA. Lincoln would obviously disagree.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Not There....Don't Care!!!!!

No, no, no! I do care that I'm missing the wonderful class taught by Micah. But I do have to attend a wedding at the Naval academy in Annapolis.

As you read this I will be barrelling down I-95, then some other roads that as of yet I'm not too sure of, to reach Annapolis. Since I'm not driving I will be sampling a few of Mr.Michael Busch's family brew. Well not really, most Budweiser/Busch products just don't do it for me. I recently attended an ecumenical congress on the westside of Manhattan. It was held at one of the more progressive churchs in New York, Opus 22. Among the topics discussed was the death of Rabbi Moses Teitelbaum of the Satmar Hasidic group, the world domination plans of Opus Dei, Catherine Skellys dog and many other relavent topics. The most important agreement to come from the conference was the general acceptance that the consumption of Belgian wheat beer is pretty damn enlightening and at two for the price of one a religious experience was had by all.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Dirty Faced Bastards

Turning away from politics for one day.

I come from a very long line of coal miners. I worked for 6 years at Clarence Colliery in the Western coal fields of New South Wales. Dirty, boring and dangerous are the 3 best words to describes the job. But three others might be comraderie, support and introspection. The people who work alongside you 1mile below ground are the only people who can be relied upon during times of trouble to save your life and get you to safety. Each relies on the other and a real bond forms.

I mention introspection or the ability to examine ones self or inspect the feelings, sensations and thoughts you create internally. When the news comes of the inevitible accident at any mine I become quite introspective. Every miner has thought 'what if it is me next time?' Luckily, I have seen fingers ripped off of hands, backs broken, jaws smashed, hands mangled, lives ruined and thought to myself 'thank christ it isn't me.'

So, my thoughts go to the two trapped gold miners (IN THE PICTURE ABOVE) in Tasmania. Trapped slightly less than 3000 feet below the earth and who will remain there until Saturday at the earliest.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Snow Job

Sooooooo we finally see what we have know since its inception, Fox News is the propaganda arm of the Nazi, err, umm, I mean Republican Party. Don't believe me? Then why is Joseph Goebbels Jr. being promoted to Whitehouse spokesman?

But strangely this Snowman has criticized the Bush regime in the past. Some of his better comments have been;

George Bush has become something of an embarrassment.

the president doesn’t seem to mean what he says.

George W. Bush stunned a friendly audience by barking out absurd and inappropriate words, likea soul tortured with Tourette’s.

The English Language has become a minefield for the man, whose malaprops make him the political heir not of Ronald Reagan, but Norm Crosby.

Seems strange that Bush would want to hire this guy for the job of 'Head Disinformation Disseminator.' It would really make a thinking person wonder if the real architect behind this is not the 'soul tortured with tourette's' but actually the real President, evil Dick????

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Real Americans

Coming home on MetroNorth from class on Wednesday evening andI saw the Americans I thought I would meet before I came to America. A little boy, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade, was travelling with who I assume was his older brother. The train (probably because of the $72.89 per gallon gas prices) was packed and the boys were sitting next to me on the floor where I was standing. The little guy pulled out his homework and started to do his math. About 10 minutes in and he was struggling and looked to his big brother to give him a helping hand. Unfortunately, big bro' was no assistance at all...then the real America stepped in. A man dressed in a suit and reading the Wallstreet Journal bent over and helped the little guy out with the tough question. Next question same result except another man lent a helping hand. In all about 90% of this boys homework was worked out by 6 or 7 total strangers and I have to admit i was pretty impressed that so many people were willing to help this little guy with his problems. This is the America I was impressed with when I was a child growing up in Scotland and Australia. The America that would happily reach out and help the little guy.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

!!!!!! NEWSFLASH !!!!!!

It has come to my attention (through Lee) that Senator Theodore Stevens (R-AK) maybe on the verge of retirement! Yes, I know you are as shocked and upset as I am. I will look deeply into this breaking news.

One thing is for sure, Women, Men and children will be in tears across the country tomorrow if this dreadful news turns out to be correct.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I Ride The Rails

One benefit of catching MetroNorth to class three times per week is the rail journey along the majestic Hudson River. Those lucky (this kind of lucky) enough to have waterfront property may take this for granted but it is truly spectacular to travel 30 or so miles south along it.

However, I worry about the Hudson line because of global warming. What has global warming got to do with a river?????? The Hudson is effected by tides, it is estuarial. When the tide rises out past the Verazano straights, water backs up for over 100 miles upstream. What all this means is that as global warming melts more and more of the worlds glaciers and icecaps and as the oceans of the world warm up and expand they will combine to form a giant liquid dam. This dam will cause increasing amounts of water to back up the Hudson.

The most appealling part of the Hudson line train service is that the train literally rides inches above the mean waterline. So one day as I'm heading down the line to the incredible Micah Sifrey University my train will be terminally delayed due to water covering the tracks.

More Recent Picture of Lee Raymond

Why It Costs $5,000 To Drive To Work

Just running through the family finances for the month when I came across the figure 'commutation.' Besides the $100 per month for train tickets to get to school, my wife and me spend roughly $325 per month on gasoline. Yes, gas, petrol, fuel, go-go juice - call it whatever you want but holy shit its expensive! And it maybe because of the holy shit that it its so expensive, the whole Iran hating Israel and developing nuclear weapons has the boys down at 1 North End Avenue nervous.

But I really don't care why gas is $3.10 per gallon today, I just want it back to $1.10! Of course ex-CEO of Exxon Mobil doesn't really care about the price of gas. After years of happily gouging us at the gas pump he has cashed in his chips and taken a golden parachute to the tune of $400 million! Now we see why gas is so friggin high...its to pay off this jerk!