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I have heard from several (age 40+) HIV positive, "financially secure", successful professional men (in many fields) that there are limited opportunities to meet for socializing, networking, and dating . So, I am hoping to form a group by having a first get together in midtown Manhattan in the month of September on a weeknight. There is no structure at present, we can figure it out together and if it is of interest , this can happen monthly. This is not going to be a "support group" in nature.

Please feel free to pass this email to your other HIV+ professional friends that in the age 40 and up category that meet the criteria above, and hopefully we will have a good turn out. Contact me with your name, email address, and phone number and I will keep you informed.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I have heard from several (age 40+) HIV positive, "financially secure", successful professional men (in many fields) that there are limited opportunities to meet for socializing, networking, and dating . So, I am hoping to form a group by having a first get together in midtown Manhattan in the month of September on a weeknight. There is no structure at present, we can figure it out together and if it is of interest , this can happen monthly. This is not going to be a "support group" in nature.

Please feel free to pass this email to your other HIV+ professional friends that in the age 40 and up category that meet the criteria above, and hopefully we will have a good turn out. Contact me with your name, email address, and phone number and I will keep you informed.

Welcome to the forums. I understand the desire to socialize with other pozzies. I do wonder how you are going to "screen" participants to ensure they meet your qualifications. It seems kinda limited and exclusive to me. You might as well say "trolls and disability queens need not apply".

Certainly you are free to socialize with whomever you do / do not want to. But you might want to keep a more open mind, or you might miss out on meeting some great people.

Regards,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I hope you have a great group with your kind , I myself enjoy a multitude of peeps . You may find yourself with a room full of dullards . I would never screen my friends to find out if their assets came close to mine !

Come on guys give the man a break, you have to admit it's a great way of meeting a few "Sugar Daddies" to help you through life without actually having to work at looking after yourself...why do that when you can get a "financially secure", successful professional men to do it for you.

Come on guys give the man a break, you have to admit it's a great way of meeting a few "Sugar Daddies" to help you through life without actually having to work at looking after yourself...why do that when you can get a "financially secure", successful professional men to do it for you.

ArohaJan

You're absolutely right, Jan. After all, one has to find something to do once their life as a playboy is over.

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

No need to engage your unkind remarks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. Bash me as much as you choose, I suppose if you wanted to form a group of HIV poz Native Americans and I wasn't one, I certainly wouldn't be offended.

No worries, I have received nearly 75 replies of people that want to be in this type of group.

And to the person that made the remark about disaibility, you are way out of line. I have at least 5 guys on disability that are coming that understand what this group is for. The other moronic remarks about the Harvard club, showing income tax returns,And having so much free time are way out of line. If you don't want to join, then just pass. Stop with the cheap shots, we are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

No need to engage your unkind remarks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. Bash me as much as you choose, I suppose if you wanted to form a group of HIV poz Native Americans and I wasn't one, I certainly wouldn't be offended.

No worries, I have received nearly 75 replies of people that want to be in this type of group.

And to the person that made the remark about disaibility, you are way out of line. I have at least 5 guys on disability that are coming that understand what this group is for. The other moronic remarks about the Harvard club, showing income tax returns,And having so much free time are way out of line. If you don't want to join, then just pass. Stop with the cheap shots, we are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

Peace!

True. But the means and manner in which we branch out into these sub groups also stands as a definition of character. You certainly took quite a chance with your choice of verbiage.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Funny, on 2 other sites I received nothing but thank you for doing this and trying to fill a void in our community for those over 40 and are fortunate to be doing fine financially and wish to mix with similar people, several even volunteered to help with the arrangements as i organize on my own time and no compensation, haters take note.

My message on your site was the same I posted on others and received nothing but embraces and appreciation. Here I got attacked with poisonous and venomous tyoe remarks which is the exact opposite of the type of people I would want to meet.

What are all of YOU doing in your community to engage poz social groups on an individual basis? I really would like to know, especially since most of you have decided who I am and what my agenda is without even talking to me. That shows limited responsibility to back your remarks.

I am due an apology but I don't see that coming from the hostile readers on this board.

- monthly orgy for HIV+ men who are hung and have toned bodies. Age limit 45 and no Hep C. I felt some responsibility to host a bareback soiree for this group so everyone can just relax and have a good time with their preferred kind of partner. No stress, no rejection. I've posted this on several forums and received many thanks and there's a waiting list of over 30,000 names now. I'm over 45 but as the host of course I am welcome at my own party, which I organise entirely on my own, though the maid comes the next day to clean up. (Not my normal lady, but a cute gay cleaning boy working his way through college.)

- monthly book club for HIV+ women and men. We've found PhDs in comparative literature participate the best, although the club is in principal open to anyone. There are a few B.A.s who come, knowing who the club is really for, so they sit quietly and nobody really minds. Everyone is welcome! (I don't have a PhD in complit but I can talk the talk, and after all, I'm the host.)

- a picnic each summer and a winter holiday trim-a-tree party for the political asylum community with HIV. They are mostly muslim and don't go much in for the ribs at the picnic, yet we receive nothing but embraces and appreciation at these events and its really the least one can do to give back, don't you think.

- Private investors' Suze Orman cocktail hour. This bi-monthly event is open to HIV+ men and women of any age who are fortunate enough to have sufficient assets to be assigned a personal banker at one of the major Swiss private banks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. We found a good demand for this group in both Geneva and Zurich, and even some members from Basel. We meet at a member's home, drink cocktails, watch Suze Orman and discuss the sad, surprising and often funny little dramas of the working poor. Suze always has a few great zingers! Sure we've got HIV but at least we don't have money problems! Some of us reminisce about when we were poor. And we support each other about dealing with poor members of the family, since that is so complicated. A few people who come don't have personal bankers but they know who the group is for, and I think some of them used to have personal bankers, or aspire to, so everyone gets on fine as long as they play nice. Everyone is welcome!

We are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

I encourage everyone to be inspired by NY50PLUS and moimeme and host your own wonderful events for underserved groups in the HIV+ community.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 09:15:39 AM by mecch »

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ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Just curious what happens when your status changes from "financially secure" to "Suffering the ravages of HIV"? Would I be kicked out of the exclusive club?

My deceased partner was an executive in charge of purchasing for a large hospital chain and I was a federal budget analyst at an air base and we lived a fabulous "lifestyle", but am now resigned to living on disability because the AIDSY thing destroyed my cognitive abilities. Would I qualify based on previous fabulousness?

I will apologize if you don't fathom why there is some outrage in the manner and wording of your post. I won't apologize for not wanting to be a part of a group who needs a paradigm shift.

Wolfie

Also, thanks for the comment Jan. You always make me smile with your well thought out and caring comments. If you know any hot sugar daddy types, you have my permission to give them my contact info.

Logged

Complacency is the enemy. Challenge yourself daily for maximum return on investment.

No need to engage your unkind remarks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. Bash me as much as you choose, I suppose if you wanted to form a group of HIV poz Native Americans and I wasn't one, I certainly wouldn't be offended.

No worries, I have received nearly 75 replies of people that want to be in this type of group.

And to the person that made the remark about disaibility, you are way out of line. I have at least 5 guys on disability that are coming that understand what this group is for. The other moronic remarks about the Harvard club, showing income tax returns,And having so much free time are way out of line. If you don't want to join, then just pass. Stop with the cheap shots, we are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

Peace!

I'm the guy who made the remark about disability. Re-reading my remarks, I still stand behind them. I can appreciate the idea of a group for pozzies who are over 40. But age isn't the issue here. I just don't understand what will constitute "financially secure" and "successful" for your group. I don't know many on disability who feel all that secure. And when you're positive (and even if you're not), one serious illness can destroy one's "financially secure" position. I would be curious as to what web sites you received a more favorable response from.

All in all, you haven't provided a great deal of details. But from the little information you provided, it seems to me that you are branching out into subgroups based on "haves" and "have nots". I've come to learn that the line between those can be perilously thin. Maybe you could clarify the purposes and intents of your group and its members, and we'd understand a bit better.

Regards,

Henry

Logged

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

What are all of YOU doing in your community to engage poz social groups on an individual basis?

Honestly, not a damn thing since I couldn't afford to host a room full of people with a spread of grape soda and cheeze crackers.

I get my in-person poz social interaction by way of AMG every couple of years if I'm lucky enough to get to go. Otherwise, it's pretty much here. If I could create such a group, the last thing I would ever try to do is throw up yet one more barrier to block out a part of the community based on finances.

NY40Plus , Its insensitive to post what you did in a forum where more than a few of us barely get by and struggle financially . If I were you I wouldn't be expecting an apology anytime soon . It really is just this simple .

Even thou I'm not in NY or fit the criteria for the group I have to say I am saddened to see the bitterness among the replies. You cant allow other people their success and let them have this?

I have struggled with drug and alcohol abuse and Im no way near financially secure and will probably never be. Still Im glad to see there are poz people actually thriving in this society.

Wow. Do you genuinely believe the responses are a result of 'bitterness' over other poz people 'thriving in society' ?

I maybe mistaken, but if I correctly recall, I think you stated somewhere that you're from an Asian country but presently living in the US or in Europe. Is that correct? Then, I guess you should have no bitter feelings if certain people decide to exclude you from social groups and settings based on your ethnicity- something you canít change. Inaccurate analogy perhaps, but the same principle.

You do have a right to form such a group. When you get there you will realize that it's most likely gonna be a group of guys in their 60s and 70s. So then you will have to change it to a group for guys that are from 40 to 50 and the two members won't like each other.

The only 2 good things I can see about your group is that you are not looking for 18 year old twinks, and are trying to avoid guys looking for sugar daddies.

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 05:17:11 PM by LiveWithIt »

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Pray God you can copeI know you have a little life in you yet. I know you have a lot of strength left.

Wow. Do you genuinely believe the responses are a result of 'bitterness' over other poz people 'thriving in society' ?

I maybe mistaken, but if I correctly recall, I think you stated somewhere that you're from an Asian country but presently living in the US or in Europe. Is that correct? Then, I guess you should have no bitter feelings if certain people decide to exclude you from social groups and settings based on your ethnicity- something you canít change. Inaccurate analogy perhaps, but the same principle.

Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

I'm just curious why you feel that you have something to contribute to the topic of this thread since you are feeling that what Space said wasn't proper. After all, you are not a member of the specific group of people the OP addressed this thread to...

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

I'm just curious why you feel that you have something to contribute to the topic of this thread since you are feeling that what Space said wasn't proper. After all, you are not a member of the specific group of people the OP addressed this thread to...

Cuz I liked the idea of the group.How many of the others in this thread do you think "qualify"? Aint seeing anyone questioning their right to post here.

Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

I'd say spacebarsux has made his point well. It is insensitive to use certain criteria like financial success to form a social group of HIVers, that already receives enough stigma as it is. Unless you have been living under a rock, it is well known that many HIVers have financial challenges due to the strain of medical expenses combined with complications due to HIV. That would be true for any chronic disease. That doesn't mean you are not within your rights to form your group. It just means that you are insensitive.

I'm amazed at how NYPLUS40 and his supporters interpret the responses from those who disagree with them as being from people who are bitter. I guess that, to you, us dissenters are a bunch of poor folks who are jealous of you and your financial success? That would be condescending, in so many ways.

Rather, our responses just indicate that what you are doing is terribly insensitive, and wrong. Again, that doesn't mean you can't go forward and do it. But I'm going to speak out when I see actions that I think are insensitive, and divisive to pozzies in a harmful way.

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 10:36:31 PM by Buckmark »

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

I'd say spacebarsux has made his point well. It is insensitive to use certain criteria like financial success to form a social group of HIVers, that already receives enough stigma as it is. Unless you have been living under a rock, it is well known that many HIVers have financial challenges due to the strain of medical expenses combined with complications due to HIV. That would be true for any chronic disease. That doesn't mean you are not within your rights to form your group. It just means that you are insensitive.

I'm amazed at how NYPLUS40 and his supporters interpret the responses from those who disagree with them as being from people who are bitter. I guess that, to you, us dissenters are a bunch of poor folks who are jealous of you and your financial success? That would be condescending, in so many ways.

Rather, our responses just indicate that we what you are doing is terribly insensitive, and wrong. Again, that doesn't mean you can't go forward and do it. But I'm going to speak out when I see actions that I think are insensitive, and divisive to pozzies in a harmful way.

We live 2 ppl in a rented 26sqm cubicle without kitchen and hot water. I have no assets but a debt of 50k USD and struggle to finish my degree. I fight alcohol dependency and drug addiction daily. You talk about living under a rock? Well its not far from I can tell ya. If I didnt have my gf I would have ended this tragic farce already. Still I wont take away what the OP wants to accomplish.

Rather, our responses just indicate that we[/b] what you are doing is terribly insensitive, and wrong. Again, that doesn't mean you can't go forward and do it. But I'm going to speak out when I see actions that I think are insensitive, and divisive to pozzies in a harmful way.

Freudian slip? I think criticizing him is insensitive too.

How many of us struggling to get by have lawyers and doctors beating our doors down to date us?

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 07:06:59 PM by LiveWithIt »

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Pray God you can copeI know you have a little life in you yet. I know you have a lot of strength left.

- monthly orgy for HIV+ men who are hung and have toned bodies. Age limit 45 and no Hep C. I felt some responsibility to host a bareback soiree for this group so everyone can just relax and have a good time with their preferred kind of partner. No stress, no rejection. I've posted this on several forums and received many thanks and there's a waiting list of over 30,000 names now. I'm over 45 but as the host of course I am welcome at my own party, which I organise entirely on my own, though the maid comes the next day to clean up. (Not my normal lady, but a cute gay cleaning boy working his way through college.)

- monthly book club for HIV+ women and men. We've found PhDs in comparative literature participate the best, although the club is in principal open to anyone. There are a few B.A.s who come, knowing who the club is really for, so they sit quietly and nobody really minds. Everyone is welcome! (I don't have a PhD in complit but I can talk the talk, and after all, I'm the host.)

- a picnic each summer and a winter holiday trim-a-tree party for the political asylum community with HIV. They are mostly muslim and don't go much in for the ribs at the picnic, yet we receive nothing but embraces and appreciation at these events and its really the least one can do to give back, don't you think.

- Private investors' Suze Orman cocktail hour. This bi-monthly event is open to HIV+ men and women of any age who are fortunate enough to have sufficient assets to be assigned a personal banker at one of the major Swiss private banks. This is a specific group within the poz community wanting to meet like people. This doesn't mean you are any better or less of a person if you don't meet the criteria. We found a good demand for this group in both Geneva and Zurich, and even some members from Basel. We meet at a member's home, drink cocktails, watch Suze Orman and discuss the sad, surprising and often funny little dramas of the working poor. Suze always has a few great zingers! Sure we've got HIV but at least we don't have money problems! Some of us reminisce about when we were poor. And we support each other about dealing with poor members of the family, since that is so complicated. A few people who come don't have personal bankers but they know who the group is for, and I think some of them used to have personal bankers, or aspire to, so everyone gets on fine as long as they play nice. Everyone is welcome!

We are all in this together but also branching out into our own sub groups as we choose.

I encourage everyone to be inspired by NY50PLUS and moimeme and host your own wonderful events for underserved groups in the HIV+ community.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....

I truly hope to attend your group when I travel upon the liner this autumn . Your HIV Friend & Pal Sir Weasel

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Does the OP even realize why it's so difficult to find anyone 40 and over to date in the first place? We lost a large segment of this group and now he wishes to narrow the field even further.....priceless.

Modified to add: You want to read success stories? Pop over to the LTS thread to read some of those stories. That's true success!!!!!

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 07:20:28 PM by wolfter »

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Complacency is the enemy. Challenge yourself daily for maximum return on investment.

To the OP ,Definitely NOT a place I would want to be a part of, I like people from all walks of life, and don't give 2 shits about there tax return, how much money the make, or anything else for that matter

Oh and good luck that, cuz your gonna need it

Hugs

DEN

Logged

"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

To the OP ,Definitely NOT a place I would want to be a part of, I like people from all walks of life, and don't give 2 shits about there tax return, how much money the make, or anything else for that matter

Oh and good luck that, cuz your gonna need it

Hugs

DEN

I agree, I take care of myself and if you can take care of yourself we are a potential match. I don't need your money and you can't have mine.

Sadly in our community most people want to date younger, better looking, and richer than they are.

but I can't begrudge the OP because I am not his "type". Because that would make me insensitive to what he feels he needs.

His purpose was not to insult anyone, but I think this may not be the right place to find too many members for his group.

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 07:39:25 PM by LiveWithIt »

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Pray God you can copeI know you have a little life in you yet. I know you have a lot of strength left.

1) What is the definition of "financially secure?"2) What is the purpose of having a "professionals group" specifically for the defined "financially secure?" The goals? The mission? The vision? The hoped outcomes? The points of conversation?

Some things in my life I have learned (having "financial stability," losing "financial stability," and regaining some semblance of "financial security") is:

The true definition of a successful person is what they have left after they lose everything...

and

Financial security can be the person who has a dollar but spends it wisely and is happy..... whereas the person who has a million dollars and spends it frivolously wouldn't be very fiancially secure IMHO...

There are some people who have a million dollars and look and act like they have $10 - and others who have $10, but look, act, and feel like they are millionaires...

Also, how do we define "professional" ---- there are many a so-called professional person out there who are anything but professional --- and many who others might define as non-professional who far better meet the definition of a professional...

Finally, minds are like parachutes - they function only when open ---- exclusion and singularity would lead to a pretty stagnant society....

I'll be interested in reading the response to the questions posed at the beginning of my post....

I dated a guy who I think didn't want to date me because I could not lavish expensive gifts on him, but maybe there were other reasons, I don't know. He's not a bad person, in fact he's a great guy, he just has different views in life and may have some shit to figure out, as I do.

Logged

Pray God you can copeI know you have a little life in you yet. I know you have a lot of strength left.

Financial security can be the person who has a dollar but spends it wisely and is happy..... whereas the person who has a million dollars and spends it frivolously wouldn't be very fiancially secure IMHO...

There are some people who have a million dollars and look and act like they have $10 - and others who have $10, but look, act, and feel like they are millionaires...

There are multi millionaires who are miserable because they are chasing the next hundred million. It's money that they don't need and they will die with that money in the bank, but it's just an unreasonable greed.

I would love to have millions of dollars but I don't and probably never will. Wealth is just extra freedom to do things that you can't normally do. A person who was miserable before they got rich will never be happy. Then if you get too rich you get jaded, forget where you came from, think that you are better than everyone else and take everything for granted.

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 07:50:36 PM by LiveWithIt »

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Pray God you can copeI know you have a little life in you yet. I know you have a lot of strength left.

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

NY40plus has posted 3 times on this site and his only motivation to come here was to troll for over 40 rich fags to form a group ... and yet he is being defended by a few that fail to see why this is an insensitive poor choice on his part , that's pretty friggin rich in its self .

Waaaah, you're too sensitive. Just wait until the revised 40+ HIV rich professional group rules include no fats no fems.

Hey now, now what do you have against a man in a dress, I like men who wear dresses, easier to get at the goods , and some of my past BFs were very FEM ,and I LIKE BEARS and they happen to LOVE ME, if you must know...

Hugs

DEN

« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 08:29:19 PM by denb45 »

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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974