I have this habit of checking out the time whenever I start writing a post. Reason? Don’t ask. Most things I do will not have reasons. Ok, the point is, right now, as I start writing this, my watch shows, an Indian mathematician’s swear word- 4:20. Ok, now that this post has begun in such a terrible way, it can’t get worse. So don’t worry. ;)

It was 4 days ago, my right thigh itched and hence I dug my vibrating phone from my pant’s pocket. A message from Airtel said- ‘Welcome to Andhra Pradesh. We wish you a pleasant stay’. A pleasant stay was exactly what I was expecting as I was heading to my hometown (rather, my grand parents’ hometown). Airtel, though the message was heart-melting, I knew it actually conveyed something like- “ You will be charged for incoming calls now, you stupid.” Like an enlightened man, I made up my mind that I shouldn’t pick calls from unknown numbers. Three cheers to Mr. Co-Incidence, my phone started ringing flashing an unknown number. Since I am ‘ME’, I picked it- “Hello.”

“Hello Sir, Good Morning, I’m calling from Airtel.” A cute voice of an young girl from the other side said.

“Good Morning. Tell me.”

“Had your breakfast, Sir?” I was about to ask her if she was single. I mean, man, How Caring!

“Nope. Tell me what.”

“Sir, you have an amazing offer to convert your sim to post-paid.”

“No. Thank You.” damn.. One call wasted.

We entered the small town, called ‘Madanapalle’ known as – ‘The Tomato Town’. A town where all the heroes would be walking right-royally in the centre of the road and when you ‘horn’, you’d be greeted with evil looks, as if their eyes had the capacity to launch fire balls. Anyway, we finally arrived at my relative’s place where we were welcomed warmly. I don’t know if I should actually use the expression- warm. Why would I prefer a warm welcome in such a warm place?

After the 4 hour long journey, I had to make a trip to the white-house. If you are new to my blog, well, guess what is a ‘white-house’. They have this attached toilet in one of the rooms. I wonder if that is where the concept of Attached toilets originated. I mean, it is so small that, once you enter in, you would get attached. Anyway, after all the freshening-up, it was time for lunch. My plate arrived, and I could hardly see the metal below. It was that full. “Aunty, I can’t eat this much, please take away some.”

“Eat.”

“See my size already. Please.”

“Eat.”

“I can’t eat this much.”

“Eat.”

“Puuleeaaaseeeeeee..”

“Eat” damn… damn

After the Eating Dhamaka ended, by evening it was time to attend a marriage-reception. All my relatives were present. Everytime they’d see me, they would perform the ‘question-mark’ dance, as I call it. They would make a wavy movement of their head as if like drawing a question mark, which would mean- “ How are you and your family back home?” for which my reply would be an ‘S’ dance. First half of the ‘S’ would indicate- “Yeah, me and my family are doing good.” And the second half of the ‘S’ would enquire- “How are you and your family by the way?” Next, we would settle the matter with a mutual smile. The exercise continues throughout the evening though.

Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you about the most interesting part of the people there- GOSSIP. You go to A’s place. A says- “ C is such an idiot. How dare she did that to me?” and you would be like- “ Yeah. Right.” Then you go to C’s place and C would be like- “ A is such a bitch. She’s shameless.” And you’ll be like – “Oh yeah. Exactly.” 6 months later, A and C would be the greatest of friends, and You’d have been named as B & would be the idiot for nosing in between A and C.

Anyway, I can go on and on writing this, but now I see this post has dragged a bit too long. So, I’ll continue maybe next time. Anyone willing to do a study on the above mentioned characteristics, you are welcome to my home-town. Pregnant ladies, please stay away. A combination of those ‘front-engine auto rickshaws’ and those ‘roads’ is the last thing I would want to see you in.

By the way, the next evening as we were leaving, I got another call, an unknown number again. I picked- “Hello.”

“Hello Sir, Good Evening, I’m calling from airtel.” The same cute voice I think.

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additions to the crap:

heheh. nice experience... i know it happens when u go to small towns like dat... anyways, nice u ate well. and abt the airtel calls, well , i totally agree. even i get calls from customer care when i go roaming. when im in my home state, those people think im dead or somethin maybe, i don get calls at all!!

Gud oneits nice u put images from Google to depict ur post, Pictures speak for themselves.. but this picture was in poor taste.. Tell me honestly was it how the place u went looked like. the picture talks a lot of poverty. and u talk abt plate full of.... :)

Yes, it was a plate full.... But it's still full of poverty.... Poverty is relative... It doesn't come in the way of culture in a way of treating guests..!! They are in a poverty level whr they can afford basic food.. but things like 'Education' and other so called 'comforts' is wat's difficult... Never for a meal, especially for a guest..!!

And the houses there look very similar to the pic .... I wrote this post as a matter of fun (as in, my experiences), but not to insult anyone or their style of living..!!

@arjun i dint mean u were insulting some one, i know abt few places around madanapalli. and it is well developed, schooling, education, mid day meal, self employment, rajiv gandhi rural employment where people get jobs for 180 days with good salaries, 2Kg/ rice.. and many more schemes for poor. untill unless they are not aware of such things there will be poverty. If they dont know about this plz spread the message.Initially when blogs were started 10 years back. these were the actual purpose of it. hope it still serves the purpose. Wish our future journalist Arjun works on it

hey Arjun...once again..i have to say u have this peculiar way of saying things that each word evokes an image!someone has had quite an interesting trip..right from the food,to the gossip..and off course how can i forget the caring girl...hmm interesting...try calling her back na..we will have some more nice experiences coming from u.. all the best things in life are not free ya...a sweet voice charges a lot on roaming..heheheh...thanks for sharing this one...very nice to read..and by any chance if u r calling "the sweet voice"then the next post should have all its details...good luck!keep smiling!take care!

Sunil.. All those are on papers... Not only in Andhra.. They r everywhere... How much do u think actually materialises ?? U know how many things matter to get a facility offered by the govt. ...?? It's not as simple as we think.... Our country would have been way better if all these schemes u mentioned would transform to actual reality....

Just an example... My relative, like my grand father.. doesn't get his Old age pension, a scheme which was introduced by YSR.. Reason- His caste... He's a TDP voter... He's been trying since 3 years but in vain....

Next.. To avail most of those facilities.. u should have a ration card, which is given based on a family's annual income.... You know, how difficult a thing it is to him to get one such ration card..?

Schemes are there.. Some are helpful.. most of them dont reach the concerned..... Ground reality is different from schemes on paper....

Of course i agree that the pic might be a bit exaggerated.. And yeah, i also agree that the town has improved... But the economic balance in the town is dangerously bad... Ppl have money not from what they've earned... They have it by selling their lands.... Lucky ppl get good prices.. Ppl with lands which are far away and drought-hit are still suffering.....

Abt blogs, yeah u r right.... But now, the electronic media is doing the job ... Ppl r well aware of wat schemes they are eligible for.... Just that they are helpless in certain issues.....

As for this generation, poverty is still a big issue there.. The next generation, the educated lot, might make things better...

@ Arjun: I am not to argue, but the schemes what i mentioned is very much available. there are many eseva centres where u get ur ration cards. if u think there is injustice for ur grandfather there is a powerful tool called RTI and the fees for it is Rs 10, heads have rolled when used it. Hope well informed guys like u should spend a day or two and help solve these issues. arey bhai picture nahin dektha hain kya... Do a yuva dude. Well lets go madanapalli :)