For all things that truly matter . . . to the five of us.

So I almost always agree with what Simon says on AI. Is it because, much like him, I am a total misanthrope? Perhaps. But he really gets it right with the Kelly Clarkson / Clive Davis brouhaha. See below from ew. Though it sounds like the new album is more Alanis than “Since U Been Gone” — as evidenced by her Riot Grrrl performance at the AI finale — which is really a shame. Dancing to that song accounts for at least 47% of my monthly exercise.

SIMON COWELL: ”Kelly is not a puppet; she does not like to be told what to do. She could have gone the easy route, which is, you go with [‘Since U Been Gone’ producer] Max Martin — it’s a guaranteed success. She made it absolutely clear that she wanted to steer the musical direction on this record. You just gotta say, ‘You know what? This girl has given us millions and millions of sales.’ You’ve got to give her that opportunity. If it works out, fantastic. If she then decides she wants to do a pop album, every good writer and producer wants to work with her. Because Kelly will be here for 30 years. She has one of the best pop voices in the world right now. What she sold in the U.K., Europe, Asia had nothing to do with American Idol. It had everything to do with the fact that she made a great record and she’s got an incredible voice. She’s not a girl who got lucky in a talent competition; we got lucky to find her.”

I am really looking forward to Knocked Up, which premieres this weekend. If the buzz is to be believed, it is this summer’s must-see raunch-com. But, yikes, has our girl Katherine been in some stinkers.

Bride of Chucky– Do you think she got to make any speeches about what she believed? “I believe, Chucky, that you shouldn’t have married Callie.”

.

.

.

.

.

My Father the Hero – According to EW.com, in this one she pretended that Dad (Gerard Depardieu) was her lover. Eww! [Summer, where are you when we need you?]

.

.

.

.

.

Zyzzyx Road – No, I didn’t make the title up. And it is not a reference to the movie being boring. Fun fact: this is the lowest grossing movie of all time. Maybe because it was so far down on the list in the newspaper that no one could find it. Or maybe it’s because people (like me) are scared of Tom Sizemore.

[Eds. note: The reviews (of Knocked Up, not this other crap) look great! See, e.g. ew.com and the NY Times.]

My favorite part of this article is when the writer explains that tequila is popular for shots and cocktails. Jeez, I always thought it was best known for helping me get grout off my tub. Thanks to Orit for bringing this huge dilemma to my attention!

MEXICO CITY – Mexican farmers are setting ablaze fields of blue agave, the cactus-like plant used to make the fiery spirit tequila, and resowing the land with corn as soaring U.S. ethanol demand pushes up prices.

The switch to corn will contribute to an expected scarcity of agave in coming years, with officials predicting that farmers will plant between 25 percent and 35 percent less agave this year to turn the land over to corn.

“Those growers are going after what pays best now,” said Ismael Vicente Ramirez, head of agriculture at Mexico’s Tequila Regulatory Council.

The large, spiky-leaved agave thrives on high, arid land and can take eight years to reach maturity. To remove the plants, growers cut them at their stems and often burn the fields to remove the roots.

Tequila, drunk in shots and cocktails around the world, is named after a town in the western Mexican state of Jalisco.

Production of agave, from the lily family, soared in recent years as farmers cashed in on record prices brought about by a shortage of the plant at the start of the decade.

Despite rapid growth in tequila drinking, especially overseas, the over-supply of agave has driven prices for the plant to rock-bottom levels.

Many growers have started to abandon the crop in favor of corn, whose price has rocketed in line with massive growth in U.S. demand for ethanol after President Bush outlined targets last year to use the corn-based fuel as a gasoline alternative.

Agave supply is also being hit this year by disease in the fields, partly due to farmers caring less for the plants after prices dropped.

“The problem that we are going to see, perhaps by mid-2008, is that a lot of agave is sick,” Agriculture Ministry official Arnulfo del Toro said. “That will have to be taken out and production is going to drop a lot.”

Your Mom saw a GC (good concert) last night. Keane played Rumsey Playfield in Central Park last night. It was a gorgeous night and a lovely show. They played stuff off of Hopes & Fears, and Under the Iron Sea, plus a little Paul Simon (!!). Even Your Mom’s favorite poem — An Irish Airman Forsees His Death — was recited before they played “A Bad Dream.”

“I want to prepare for it the way I do everything else in my life,” he tells Details. “I make lists. I make plans. But being a father is different. I think that people go into it and find out, holy s—, I have no control.”