Iran, N. Korea Prepare to Attack U.S.

Iran claims to have launched its first homemade satellite on Monday. "With God's help and the desire for justice and peace," Iranian President Ahmadinejad announced via sophisticated Iranian television technology, "the official presence of the Islamic Republic was registered in space." Meanwhile North Korea, which is said to be preparing a test of a Taepodong-2 missile -- or at any rate a " a long cylindrical object being transported on a train through the North Korean countryside" -- which the New York Post reports can travel as far as Alaska, the home of Sarah Palin, and Hawaii, the home of Don Ho. With the guidance of the Iranian satellite, the North Koreans are expected to launch a preemptive strike on the 49th and 50th states, thereby causing our gutless traitor Muslim president to surrender to IslamoKoreafascism. And we laughed when they tried to warn us!