Birthday party dramas

A bit of help please ladies (and gents)

I'm currently 37wks pregnant with a 3&5yo. Between now and late October dd1 has been invited to 11 birthday parties and dd2 to 9. Luckily 7-8 are mothers group or family friends so they know my circumstance of dh being away with baby almost due. So my attendance is flexible and I can cancel on the day if I feel like crap plus I can take both kids or all three kids.

The issue is with daycare and kindy parties where only one kid of mine is invited. I have no qualms saying no to whole class parties unless my kid is a close friend. But it's the ones that only a few have been invited that worry me. Some of these kids my girls have rarely mentioned them as playmates and what I don't want is the birthday kid to invite only a few (Inc my kid) and them decline and it upsets them. And how do I explain to parent that it's an invite one get the siblings for free thing politely?? Or that I could end up cancelling last moment ??

I would decline almost all invites. I would only go to close friends/max of 1 party per weekend. A few reasons.... Better to decline early and give them the chance to possibly invite someone else. I also think that when a home is about to undergo big changes that the most important thing is to bunker down and make everyone feel calm and safe. No way I would be rushing to heaps of parties. Perhaps your kids could draw in and write cards to all the birthday kids saying that they are sorry that they can't come and explaining that they have a new baby coming very soon that thy are busy preparing for.
Dont feel bad declining invitations. Do what's best for your little family and all reasonable people will understand. X

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You could either let the kids pick 3 (or whatever number you're comfortable with!) to go to, or simply say to the hosts that you will try to make it, but won't know how things are with the new Bub until closer to the time. I'd also simply say "is it OK if I bring both kids as hubby works away" if only 1 child is invited.

We had a lot of siblings come to DS's party last year, and I was only annoyed with the people who didn't ask. I would never have said no, but it meant that there weren't enough game bits, pass the parcel pages etc etc as I expected 20 not 26!! Which made me feel awful as some were excluded. If I'd known, I would have had more things! Luckily I always over cater so food wasn't an issue, but it would have been nice to know how many siblings would be attending.

I would decline almost all invites. I would only go to close friends/max of 1 party per weekend. A few reasons.... Better to decline early and give them the chance to possibly invite someone else. I also think that when a home is about to undergo big changes that the most important thing is to bunker down and make everyone feel calm and safe. No way I would be rushing to heaps of parties. Perhaps your kids could draw in and write cards to all the birthday kids saying that they are sorry that they can't come and explaining that they have a new baby coming very soon that thy are busy preparing for.
Dont feel bad declining invitations. Do what's best for your little family and all reasonable people will understand. X

I agree. I'd decline the majority to be honest unless with your hubby away they provide you with a chance to put your feet up while both your kids are entertained.

To be honest, I don't even remember who came and who didn't to my eldest's 3rd and 5th birthdays. Nor for my 2nd who is only now 6.

My husband quite often works weekends and I get this a lot. What I usually do if he's working and one of my kids is invited is say that I'll have to bring their siblings but I'm happy to pay for them (so for example if it's a play centre party I'll pay the $10 per sibling that it costs for extra kids). If that's not good enough then I decline the party invitation.

Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia

A bit of help please ladies (and gents)

I'm currently 37wks pregnant with a 3&5yo. Between now and late October dd1 has been invited to 11 birthday parties and dd2 to 9. Luckily 7-8 are mothers group or family friends so they know my circumstance of dh being away with baby almost due. So my attendance is flexible and I can cancel on the day if I feel like crap plus I can take both kids or all three kids.

The issue is with daycare and kindy parties where only one kid of mine is invited. I have no qualms saying no to whole class parties unless my kid is a close friend. But it's the ones that only a few have been invited that worry me. Some of these kids my girls have rarely mentioned them as playmates and what I don't want is the birthday kid to invite only a few (Inc my kid) and them decline and it upsets them. And how do I explain to parent that it's an invite one get the siblings for free thing politely?? Or that I could end up cancelling last moment ??

I would get in early before the RSVP date and send a temporary placeholder like "thanks heaps for the invite. Looking forward to coming however aren't yet sure if will be able to come as DH is away & I have another child to look after. I will try to RSVP before the due date however pardon my pregnancy brain if I am a day late "

Any decent person would then offer to host your second child and would be understanding of you were feeling off on the day and couldn't attend.

If they didn't offer to host your second child I would say get stuffed

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Another vote to decline most and explain why to the parents. If you want the kids to enjoy their friends before you go maybe you can organise a play date with the kids and the bday child on another day. They can give the bday child their gift even. Play dates are more flexible and both kids can have a friend so it's two birds one stone

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