CLOONEY TELLS STACY HE’S DYING!

GEORGE CLOONEY would rather be fitted for a noose than a wedding band – so he’s come up with an incredible new way to weasel out of marriage.

The 51-year-old actor is now telling girlfriend Stacy Keibler he doesn’t have long to live!

Gorgeous George has been dating the 33-year-old beauty for nearly two years but insists he’s unfit for marriage because he’s falling apart from a variety of ailments, including recurring bouts of malaria, say sources.

“George says his body has been so beat up by a host of accidents and maladies over the years that he’d make a terrible husband and dad,” an insider told The ENQUIRER.

“But Stacy’s not buying it. She thinks he’s just playing the sympa­thy card so she’ll feel sorry for him and won’t press him to tie the knot.”

As The ENQUIRER reported in 2004, the Oscar winner practi­cally broke his neck when he fell while filming “Syriana,” and medi­cal experts say he could have been paralyzed or even died.

“I thought I’d had a stroke,” the actor told a reporter. “You can’t see and you can’t stand.”

Clooney wound up suffering such excruciating headaches he admit­ted he considered suicide.

The activist actor also is afflicted with malaria, which he got while doing humanitarian work in Sudan in January 2011.

The illness has flared up at least two times, including last Christmas.

Even though Stacy’s not happy about it, she understands that George’s biggest problem is a ter­minal case of wedding bell phobia, says the source.