Flowers and candles are seen as people gather at a memorial honouring teen Amanda Todd in Maple Ridge on Monday. Todd, who was a victim of bullying, took her own life last Wednesday.JONATHAN HAYWARD
/ THE CANADIAN PRESS

Amanda Todd’s father Norm conducts an interview with The Vancouver Sun’s Gillian Shaw in the living room of Carol Todd’s home. Behind him is Amanda’s Todd’s condolences, photos of Amanda Todd and flowers sitting on a dinner table.

‘Stay Strong.’ That was the tattoo chosen by Amanda Todd, reflecting the motto she adopted after years of bullying and harassment both online and in real life.

She recently asked her father Norm to accompany her to a tattoo shop. Both were planning to get tattoos representing the Chinese symbol for strength. Amanda was also going to get another tattoo, one with the words ‘Stay Strong” on her arm.

Now Norm will go alone to get ‘Stay Strong’ tattooed on his arm, the last thing he can do for his daughter who died last Wednesday, an apparent suicide.

“She always said stay strong and that was her symbol and I want that to carry on,” said Norm.

Amanda’s mother Carol said her daughter chose ‘Stay Strong’ because that’s what Demi Lovato, an American pop singer, X-Factor judge and anti-bullying advocate has tattooed on her wrist. Lovato is speaking on anti-bullying at this week’s We Day event in Vancouver.

Amanda, who lived with her mother in their Port Coquitlam home, recorded a YouTube video a month before her death in which she chronicled the relentless bullying that carried from cyberspace to the schoolyard.

At the time of her death, the video had 3,000 views, and Norm said she had been proud of the impact it was having. The video, posted under her YouTube identity TheSomebodytoknow, now has chalked up close to four million views.

“She was very courageous and I really love that she made that video,” said Norm.

“She told me why she made it — she wanted to send a message out so that it wouldn’t happen to someone else, so no one would have to go through what she went through. . . .

“She did that on her own and her message is being delivered now. It makes me happy that her voice is still alive and being heard.

“No matter how many haters there are out there, they can’t hurt her now and her message can keep on going strong. That gives me some peace.”

Norm, who is separated from Carol and lives in Maple Ridge, talked to The Vancouver Sun at the home where Amanda lived with her mother.

Flowers filled almost every surface of the living room on Monday.

Since Amanda’s death, the home has been filled with family and friends, offering condolences, bringing food and flowers and their remembrances of Amanda.

A close friend of Amanda’s brought a booklet of photos that Amanda created as a gift for her, a booklet filled with their childhood memories — as babies playing in the yard and around the house.

At times, Carol pushed aside her own grief to console Amanda’s friends. She put her arms around two girls who wept as they remembered their time at school with Amanda.

“You are welcome in our home; you can come here any time,” Carol said.

On Monday, Premier Christy Clark paid a private visit to the family home. Sitting on the couch in the family living room, she told Carol and Norm that she made her son read Carol’s story about Amanda in The Vancouver Sun on Saturday.

Former Olympic track star Leah Pells, a favourite and trusted teacher of Amanda’s at the Coquitlam Alternate Basic Education school she attended, was also there — one of many teachers who have stopped by the house.

A tragic time has been made even more difficult for the family as vitriol and abuse continues to circulate on the Internet, smearing Amanda’s name and seeking to continue the hurt for those she left behind.

Even as kind words and tears were shared, the family said it has been difficult to know which of the online mourners were Amanda’s real friends and which were her tormentors.

Norm said he felt helpless as a parent. He watched as his daughter was stalked online and beaten up at school and felt powerless to save her.

He said even the police couldn’t bring an end to it, and he called for more resources and cooperation between police in Canada and the United States to help track down online predators who prey on children and youth.

“I think they should take the matter of stalking a child more seriously and not wait until it becomes such a big problem,” said Norm. “I think it’s an area that is going to grow and continue to grow and until we put more effort and resources into things that need it, it’s not going to stop and the problem is just going to get bigger.”

As Amanda described in her video, Norm found his daughter beaten outside her Maple Ridge school one day. His voice shaking, Norm said he only learned later that Amanda had known what lay in wait for her — a group of girls intent on beating her and filming their actions.

She didn’t tell her parents and went to school knowing what she might face. After the beating, Norm said, he was told that a teacher approached her, but Amanda, distraught and traumatized wanted to be left alone. He said he found her wandering outside alone.

Norm said he would like to see schools impose greater consequences for bullies. Instead of their victims having to change schools, as Amanda did four times in the past two years, he said the bullies should be moved.

“I would like to see when somebody bullies there is a no-tolerance rule and that the bully is removed from that school immediately,” he said. “It gets reviewed immediately and it is dealt with in the highest standard and that child is looked out for and protected and taken care of. . . .

“Let the bully know what it is like to move into a school and know nobody and start all over.”

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