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Psalm 23 for Sewists, by Dr. Fun

The Lord is my seamstress, I shall not rip. He makes my darts lie down without bubbling,he leads my zipper foot close to the coils, he restores my confidence.He guides me in paths of good fabric selection for his name's sake.Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of stretchy knits,I will fear no wavy seams, for you are with me;your Brother PC-420 and your walking foot, they comfort me.

You provide a tall cutting table before me in the presence of my backache.You anoint my sewing machine with oil; my fabric stash overflows.Surely sewing mojo and an automatic needle threader will follow me all the days of my life,and I will sew in the house of the Lord forever.