OCTOBER 2008 REFLECTIONS: So, What Do You Do?

by Deborah

Having just flown in from Australia the night before, Women's Nite seemed like the ideal introduction into the Singaporean lesbian scene. It offered a refreshing alternative to the bars or clubs, presenting stimulating discussion amongst an engaging and intelligent group of women.

Admittedly, the night did not start off well as no-one else turned up. However, this ended up being a blessing as we headed off for dinner down at a local Chinese restaurant. Eventually, others arrived as with our meals. So the discussion commenced about societal perceptions of lesbians, and how we might respond. Maybe we might respond in advocacy. Maybe we respond in silence. Maybe we respond with the maturity of knowing ourselves, and in the naturalness of our beings. However, now and again, one might respond in conflict : of who they are and what they feel. Now and again, one might respond in complicity with societal perceptions of us as a way of interrogating the integrity of who we are.

We discussed the irrelevance of male role-models in our childhood, or the lack of opportunity to seek and explore the opposite sex. We disputed the premise of childhood abuse, religion, having only female friends and tomboyish behaviour. We discussed every imaginable possibility of why we might be gay.

Transcending beyond all the words and diatribe, nothing can remove the way you feel for another woman. Ultimately, you have a choice : follow your heart, or live in the shadow of your consequence.

I can confidently rate this as one of the more enjoyable ways to spend a Saturday evening. It is a pity I will miss the next the one, but I hope to catch many more. To all those who live in Singapore and have the privilege of catching this event, I envy you. Enjoy.