I've had heartburn for over a decade, popping PPIs and H2 blockers for months on end during residency and pregnancy to calm the volcanic eruption of acid inside. I've tried multiple approaches over the years: western meds, acupuncture, Ayurveda, elimination diets, natural remedies, as well as other dietary and lifestyle modifications.

I want to permanently ELIMINATE the acid reflux. I should give up all forms of chocolate, and coffee ice cream. I should stay up an extra hour to allow for optimal digestion before bedtime. I should eat more slowly, more mindfully, and not be in so much of a hurry. An endless thread of shoulds that lead to nowhere...

So where am I now? After reading Tara Mohr's last chapter on Playing Big, I'm learning about gift goals vs. should goals. I'm realizing that my body isn't a problem that needs to be fixed or solved. I am not broken. Instead of eliminating heartburn, I'd like to reframe my goal. I'd like to feel better.

What does feeling better taste like? Maybe ginger and honey tea instead of hot chocolate. Maybe baklava, a fruit tart, or apple pie over mocha chocolate cake. Maybe a raspberry sorbet over coffee ice cream. Just writing this feels more kind than the endless thread of shoulds above!

Next, I'd like to find someone who can serve as a source of accountability, someone I can check in with weekly to hear how I'm doing with my gift goal. This person would ideally serve as a fierce yet tender advocate, championing my success and being the voice of encouragement when I get stuck in the sticky glue of shoulds.

What should goal can you transform into a gift goal? As you walk the path of kindness towards this gift goal, may you find beauty, support, and resilience along the way.To find out more about gift goals clickhere.