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“WOW!” people say. “You were so YOUNG!” I hear. “How could you have KNOWN?” Are they questioning my maturity? My wisdom? How DID I know?

I don’t know.

In hindsight, I had no idea what my life would hold. I had no idea what it took to love a man for his whole life. How could I? I was SEVENTEEN!

But I knew this…I loved him. He was a good man with a good heart. We shared our Christian faith, which was very important to me. He loved his family well. He was cute and funny and played lacrosse. HOT! Above all, he was kind. He hated the reputation of being the nice guy, but my heart knew that was my favorite thing about him.

We loved in the way two teenagers know how to love. We did our best. We fell fast and hard and both of us knew very early that this could be the thing…but we had a lot more life to get through.

We went to college. Together. His version and my version of how that happened are different. No matter what he tells you, I did NOT follow him there. Period. End of sentence. But there we were. That was either a good thing or a bad thing. I’m not sure. But we survived it. We fought. A lot. No surprise there! There may have been alcohol involved, and new-found freedom. We were definitely finding out who we were outside the confines of home and the High School we went to. We both lived in sorority/fraternity houses where everyone knows everyone’s business. And there was alcohol involved. If you knew us well in those years, you might be surprised we’re celebrating our 30th anniversary. Our love looks nothing like it did in that season.

Vital love changes.

We married out of college and were parents in the next year. We were learning how to be grown ups in the world. Oh my, were we broke! We were learning to struggle together. I delivered our first baby by C-section and had another abdominal surgery within 5 weeks. Our newborn son needed a specialized medical treatment—out of state. Up to that point, we had not been prepared for anything other than a perfect little life. The swooning fast-falling love of two high school sweethearts was being tested. It began to look different. It had to. My husband had to care for me in some pretty gross physical ways that neither of us had ever experienced before. We had some pretty scary questions and unknowns about our baby’s health and his future. We’d never been parents before—so there’s that! Oh, and did I mention…we were broke! Any one of those things can bring enough stress to bust up a marriage.

But Vital love changes.

Our love didn’t look like it did when we were 17 and 18. It couldn’t. We grew. Not all of the growth was pretty either...(click below to read more)

Well, in a manner of speaking I suppose. I don’t know what came over me—let’s call it the first day of Spring. Whatever it was, I got busy this morning cleaning the main floor of my house…the kitchen, the junky laundry room, the floors—and look out garage—YOU’RE NEXT!

Confession: Every time I use my vacuum cleaner I forget where the on switch is….maybe I should get the old girl out more often. (The vacuum, not me.)

I’ve been spring-cleaning my head and heart today too. You know, setting New Year’s goals….in MARCH! A whole season got past me!

I’m wanting desperately for Jesus to come and make me new….

Another confession: I didn’t even do Lent right this year. I’m not from a give-up-something-for-Lent faith tradition—and since it has never been my practice, it feels a bit awkward or clunky to take on now.

My own church denomination has been encouraging we , the faithful, to ‘Be Still’ during this Lenten season. If I were any more still you’d have to check for a pulse. At best I’ve been a mediocre steward of my time and talents this winter.

There is so much pressure around the holidays, isn’t there? And now it all starts so EARLY! It’s out of control. How the heck do we--the church ladies—keep Christ in Christmas?

I’ll tell you how…

Get over it!

Let’s get over being mad about the machine Christmas has turned into. It’s a runaway train, and our grouchy and sometimes—lets face it—‘holier-than-thou’ attitudes aren’t going to stop it!

Let's get over our anger and frustration with the commercialism, the greed, and the obsession with Santa. And let's move past complaining about stores that decorate or play music too early—or the endless emails and catalogs that fill your mailbox enticing you with the best deal ever.

Whichever one really gets your goat---

Let's just agree to let that go…OK?

Because honestly, we can be a little two-faced here—can’t we?

You’ve never shopped on Black Friday? Never picked up a cute spool of ribbon or an ornament at Hobby Lobby or Michaels…..in OCTOBER?? And surely you wouldn’t be caught clothing your sweet cherubs in their Christmas finery and waiting in a ridiculously long line with every other crazy mother and Nana to get a picture with Santa?

Me neither.

And, since weare the faithful….we probably won’t have a pile of presents under our trees and food in great abundance at our tables either….which is good. Then we won’t have to start diets on January 1st.

Let's be careful not to be too quick to condemn all the holiday craziness when frankly—not only do we participate in it--WE HELP CREATE IT!!

In the third chapter of the Book of John, Jesus is telling us that he didn’t come into this messy, sin-filled, greedy world to condemn it---

JUST THE OPPOSITE.

He brought light! He opened the gate! He knew the shape of His sheep and loved us anyway. He came to lavish us with LOVE and GRACE and PEACE!

Jesus wasn’t critical of the world he lived in…..but hopeful.

So how can we keep Christ in Christmas?

In all of the holidays? In all of our every days?

Let's be JUST LIKE HIM out there ladies!

Let's get rid of our grumpy complaining attitudes—and our anger about what Americans have turned Christmas into. Let's free ourselves from stress over our never-ending lists and our obsession with being so busy all the time….

You see, I think this is what it means to practice hospitality.

To rejoice in the Lord always, to let our gentleness be made known to all—the Lord is near…

To do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than ourselves…

To shine like stars in the universe…

To be light.

THAT’S how we’re going to keep Christ in Christmas.

Let’s encounter everyone we see with a genuine smile. Eye contact. Gentleness in our spirit and in our voice. Tender mercy.

Let’s refuse the enemy’s plan to keep us so busy that we don’t havetime for each other.

Let’s not get upset by the messes children leave behind, the chaos visiting family or even our own adult kids bring with them, or the feeling (like me) that, ahem—has anyone noticed….I’m doing ALL THE WORK!

How thankful am I that I have mouths to feed?

How blessed are we to spend precious time together---whether it falls on the actual holiday or any other given day….(Ok fellow mothers-in-law, lets agree to get over that too…)

How abundant are God’s provisions that we can share gifts together around the tree?

As we enter the season of waiting for our newborn King to arrive…I want to remember that I have a never-ending well of love to give to everyone I encounter. Love come down from heaven. His Holy Spirit fills me to overflowing so I can pour it out. And He'll fill you too.