BoilerQuest 2013: Kickoff

Gentlemen. Ever since the Big Ten entered its current laughingstock mode we have tracked the fate of the worst team in the conference in their quest to add their name to the annals of awful Big Ten programs. Generally we wait until a couple games have passed with appropriately humiliating results before initiating [MASCOT]Quest.

It is time to do this with the 2013 Purdue Boilermakers, who are 121st in points scored and 117th in points allowed nationally. It is time for BoilerQuest.

Rules

The worst team in Big Ten history has no wins and no ties; nonconference doesn't matter; 1930 is the cutoff since before that teams played highly variable schedules. Teams from WWII are included. We are going on a straight ranking by scoring ratio, which is:

point scored / (points scored + opponent points scored)

This should help normalize for the fact that football has gotten progressively higher scoring as the years have progressed.

Purdue will be the worst Big Ten team since X if they do Y…

2005: Lose all their games

The last winless Big Ten team was 2005 Illinois.

1981: Lose and finish with scoring ratio below 21%

2005 Illinois managed 21% and their 1997 team matched that. The 1981 Northwestern Wildcats scored 75 points in nine league games but gave up 425 for a scoring ratio of 15%.

1961: Lose and finish with scoring ratio below 15%

1961 Illinois never reached double digits or came within two touchdowns of an opponent (23-9 versus Purdue was their closest game) and had a scoring ratio of 12.3%.

1960: Lose, scoring ratio below 12.3%

1960 Indiana managed just 11.8.

1957: Lose, scoring ratio below 11.5%

1957 Indiana.

1944: Lose, scoring ratio below 8.9%

Iowa 1944 set a low bar, and then they lost to Iowa Pre-Flight, though Iowa Pre-Flight was 10-1 that year.

Pretty Much Ever: Lose, scoring ratio below 8.7%

Harry Kipke's 1934 Wolverines managed this.

Boilerquest Status Report

Purdue is currently on pace to be the worst Big Ten team since…

1981

After 41-10 and 44-7 losses to Wisconsin and Nebraska, Purdue's scoring ratio stands at 16.7%

NEXT WEEK: Purdue travels to Michigan State, and will not be adding to their points scored.

M.S. Purdue University. I sincerely hope the Purdue administration is patient with Hazell. He's a great coach as seen with Kent, but he inherited a trainwreck. Bad QB play, terrible offensive line, little talent on D outside of a great corner, quick but not Big Ten caliber receivers, etc. I hope he recruits well quickly so he can prove what kind a program he can run.

I mean they have the big drum and that choo-choo, plus Purdue Pete. Those painted dudes up above look like they are having a lot of fun in spite of the losing. All we got is a broken O-line, bad play calling and recruiting hopes. So envious...

The last winless (in Big Ten play) team was 2012 University of Illinois, not 2005 University of Illinois. The 2012 team in B1G play scored 94 points while allowing 281 for a scoring ratio of .25066667. Both 2012 and 2005 UI had 2 wins out of conference but blanked the conference season.

But statistically Purdueis a really, really bad football team on both sides of the ball. Like, really bad, you guyz.

And yet I completely understand the sad panda commenters who respond here, incapable of imagining Michigan gaining one goddamned yard on the ground against that level of Purdon't awfulness. What on earth brought us to this lowly state?

Tim Beckmann is slowly rebuilding the tire fire at Illinois after going 1-11 last year. Give Hazell some time... Purdue definitely has the most craptastic facilities in the Big 10 so it might take a while, but they'll be mediocre eventually. If they can win at MAC schools, they'll eventually be able to win at Big 10 schools