You're sitting in line at Target, a brand spankin' new Sliver Surfer from Marvel Legends series 5 in your hands. When the cashier scans the item, it doesn't scan. She tries a few more times. Finally, she has to actually speak to you to ask you how much the price was. You answer:

My answer was $5.99. I know full well that Target's price on Marvel Legends is closer to $7 each, but if they couldn't take the time to enter it into their computers (it must have been a return) then I'm going to take advantage of it. I did the same thing yesterday when I found Sabretooth at the same store.

I just got my Christmas bonus today. It consisted of half a week's pay and a smoked turkey. While my mother has plans for the turkey, I have no idea what to do with the money. (Yeah, like I'm really gonna save it.)

There's some Buffy figures I have my eye on, but I don't know. Those'll piss it away faster than a strip club.

ANCHORAGE, AK --- Speaking to an assembly, noted arctic explorer, Y. Cornelius announced the discovery of an island just off Alaska's northern coast populated solely by somewhat different and therefore unappreciated toys.

Hours later, President Bush, after consulting with cabinent members Exxon, Shell and Texaco, declared the island a threat to U.S. security.

"They are ruled by a shadowy King Moonracer," said the President, "who, according to British intelligence, bought nuclear materials from the country of Niger which has clear al Qaeda ties. It also sits on oil so I'm bombing the crap out of it."

Moral reasons were also given for attacking this hitherto unknown island.

Citing a Charlie-in-a-box and a choo-choo with square wheels, Bush said, "These toys are clearly not made as God intended."

The President was particularly offended by a cowboy who rides an ostrich.

"Since I am threatened by what I do not understand, I support a Constitutional amendment preventing cowboys from riding ostriches."

He was later booed in protest by a large group of pointy-eared elves lead by one identified only as Herbie, who vowed to challenge the President, find homes for the toys and become a dentist.

I'm sure we've done something like this many times, but I never get tired of typing about myself, and I'm sure others are the same. So let's see your 12 Facts About Yourself.Me:

1. I'm world's best educated bum, AKA professional loser.2. I like beer. A lot.3. I like toys.4. I like girls, but girls don't like guys who like toys and lots of beer.5. I have a dog and a cat.6. I have the bling bling of the nether region.7. I'm a writer, but have never made a dime off my scribblings.8. This is harder than I thought.9. I'm in love with an unavailable woman. I suck terribly.10. My toy collection is worth more than my Hyundai cost brand new.11. I like movies and I like bitching about movies.12. I actually enjoyed the Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, and own every Jar Jar Binks 3 3/4" figure made.

OK, I'm sure someone else here had to watch it (or tape it, like I did.) Anyway, what did you think of the first episode of the new season?

Stop here if you don't want spoilers and stuff.

Harmony. The most annoying-as-piss character EVER is working for Angel, at Wolfram & Hart. Gunn gets smart, Wes rocks a 5-o'-clock shadow in the morning, Angel does his thing, Lorne is there, and Fred shows us all the dangers of anorexia. (Damn, she's fine though.)

Spike arrives at the end of the first episode, coming out of a cloud of dust that comes from the amulet Angel gave Buffy who in turn gave it to Spike in the final 'Buffy' episode. He arrives much to Angel's and Wes' chagrin, and Harmony is...glad to see him I guess.

I just got into Angel this past year, so I'm not exactly hip about the first two seasons. But I liked this a lot. A lack of Cordy must be why Harmony is there.

I'm in a bit of a pickle here. There's a 2000 Jeep Wrangler at a local dealership. It's Solar Yellow, with a manual tranny and a soft top. It's the 4-cylinder engine, too. This thing is exactly what I've been looking for, and priced at $11550. I'm thinking of trading in my 2000 Hyundai Elantra for it.

My questions: If there are any modern (1997-2003) Wrangler owners, how are things? What kind of problems are you facing with these?

Second, if there are any who know much about this topic: What is the fair market value of a 2000 Elantra with 63,000 miles on it?

I'm not much for the comics (really haven't read any but the Hush arc) but I love the first two, maybe three movies. I'd like to see where this one goes, what with Christopher Nolan directing and co-writing.