Confidence: Belief in the trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing

You know what’s great about teaching children? They’ll consider whatever you have to say, so long as you say it with confidence. This week presented me with a lesson in the importance of confidence, but from a very different perspective than I’ve experienced before. Usually when I think about the need to feel confident, it is in scenarios that involve giving a presentation to a teacher, or interviewing for a job. These situations have in common the perspective of being in the position with less power. It is ultimately up to the teacher to determine my grade, and the boss determines my employment status. On the contrary, leading the classes and activities at Eureka! Camp this week revealed the significance of exuding confidence when in a position of power.

The value of confidence became apparent in my 8th grade class called Living Safe and Strong, a class about sexual harassment & violence. For the duration of the week, I had a group of 21 girls, and they were a rambunctious bunch. Taking an hour and a half of these girls’ time at the end of the day, every day, to talk to them about such a serious topic was from the outset, a challenge. At the beginning of the first class they tested me, as middle schoolers do. They laughed at serious issues that likely made them feel uncomfortable; they tried to talk over me and over each other, etc. I learned that no matter what material I was teaching, it didn’t matter nearly as much as the way I presented it. If I let them treat the class as a joke, they would treat it as a joke and continue to feel uncomfortable about the topics with which it dealt. But what I found is that when I taught with confidence about my control over the class, they listened. They not only listened, they participated wholeheartedly and with respect. When I unashamedly showed that I had put effort into the class and that I was serious about it, they echoed my confidence with an added element of trust. They posed “embarrassing” questions with confidence and trusted me to take them seriously. I felt so grateful that they would ask me these important questions which they might be too bashful to ask someone else. Had I had less trust in my own abilities, I believe the class would not have turned out nearly as well.

3 comments

Christine '96

What a great lesson for you to have learned! I imagine you also treated them with respect, which is why they ended up respecting you as well. Another important quality is having the ability to be vulnerable, which takes courage, but allows others to feel more connected to you and sometimes gives them the strength to be vulnerable and honest in return by asking you the hard and embarrassing questions. You guys are doing such great work!

Monica

It took me a long time in my career to figure out that a lot of professionals don’t always feel completely knowledgeable about what they are doing but proceed with confidence anyway (and thus no one else is the wiser). This is an important lesson to learn about life. I’m curious what techniques you used to shift the girls away from joking to serious conversation in the moment. Can you give some examples? I’ve heard teachers try “Do you think this is a joke?” which is not usually effective because it just shuts down all interest in participating or invites a power struggle. What did you find worked?

Aitana Zermeno

Thank you for your comment, Monica! Some of the techniques I used to shift girls’ attitudes away from joking and toward serious conversation were the following: On the second day of class I reminded them at the beginning that while I love to joke with them at snack time and other free time, while in this class I mean business. I let them know that the reason I need this to be a serious time is that I care about them and that it is essential for them to have a safe space to share their thoughts. This worked well because they understood the distinction between class time and free time, and they didn’t want to disappoint me! Still, since 2 hours is a long time to keep a serious tone, every 30 mins or so we would take a break from class material and play a game. From my experience this worked well in allowing them a break from all the seriousness!