Work on building a relationship with the individual before blindly direct messaging them to share your blog posts. Re-tweeting them once or twice may not be enough. Why? The individual may not have seen your re-tweet. Have conversations and develop a positive rapport with the individual.

Share some of their content before direct messaging the Twitter influencer to share yours. If you would like them to share your post, ask yourself, “Would I go up to someone in real life and ask him /her to promote me when I have not had prior engagements with this individual? Am I comfortable enough with this person?”

If you would like to ask someone to share your blog content, you may want to leave a few comments on their blogs to get their attention – or, share a few of their blog posts. Display that you’re active in this community you share with them.

Keep in mind that, just because you do this, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re definitely going to return the favor. Why? Because your own content may not be in line with the influencer’s social media pages. Social media power users do not have time to read all the requests, and most of them will not share something they have not read. Along that token, too, realize a decline is not always personal.

Another possibility, if your content has not been shared, is that the influencer you have tried to contact is busy with their life activities. Remember, the social media power-user is not there as your administrator. We’re all really busy juggling our day-to-day happenings while balancing social media, work, projects, family, etc.

If you see a post you like and would like to put your spin on it, make sure you revise the content in your own words. It is not a good idea to lift the content directly from the original author without giving them proper credit. Eventually, the author will see the post and note the identical verbage from his/her site, plus your readers will know where it originated as posts are date stamped. Give credit where credit is due!

In order to create positive synergy with your friends on social media, The best thing you can do is build relationships. It takes a little more effort, but you’ll reap greater long-term rewards.

The best way to do this is to cut back on JUST sending requests and poking them on Facebook, and also limit direct messaging them on Twitter as these types of annoying gestures clog up the influencer’s in-box, and will not get his or her positive attention.

One last thought: take time to reflect and re-evaluate your blog traffic situation. Instead of focusing on getting everyone to share your content, perhaps focus more in creating content that will travel on its own merit.

79 Replies to “How to NOT Get Someone’s Attention in Social Media”

Well said, Ann. Great reminder to folks not to take things personally, but to make sure that when they approach a social power user to ask for help spreading the word, that they understand the importance of alignment and respect. Nice post.

Good one Ann. I am still a bit confused about how this whole RT and asking for an RT etc. I was under the impression that Twitter is about finding and sharing what you think is interesting .. what you think others may like. Whether or not they return the RT. This sort of post helps understand it all a bit more. … Thanks. 🙂

Thanks for the tips Ann. I’ve followed all of your advice and have come to realize that these things take time. Imposing positive rapport has been my biggest mistake, but now just letting it happen in its own course without forcing the speed and direction of the relationship. Grear blog! 🙂

Great tips! I used to be a mess with social media, sending out messages to people asking them to fulfill my requests without prior engagements and I wondered why no one ever responded! lol. I’ve since found that like you said, it’s important to build trust and rapport with people first and to give and take instead of just trying to take.

It may be that many misunderstand social media and treat it as a traditional promotion format – throwing their message AT someone. When Social Media is seen for what it is, a conversation, dialogue,and a place to share it’s realized “pitching” is probably a poor strategy.

You have a common sense, clear message that more should follow. I appreciate your focus on positivity and building relationships. I think too often we forget that even though the format is short, the need to build relationships still takes time.
Thanks!

Ann-You do exactly as you write in this article. Between you and MistyBelardo I have learned more about SoMe than anywhere else.

Though I am still a “noob” in Social Media, I am a life long Sales Dude and can relate to relationship building, sincerity and being genuinely interested in others.

As a result of your spirit, content of tweets and inspiration I have focused my SoMe efforts on what I do best which is Connect emotional dots that influence change, inspires action and embraces differences.

You, Ann Tran helped me understand that 1 quality follower or connection is worth more than a thousand flaky ones.

Loved this! I think creating good content so your growth is organic was such a great reminder for people, as was the point about “if you wouldn’t feel comfortable asking in person”.

Sitting behind the computer makes people forget that social relationships online should be treated similarly to in-person relationships. Unfortunately sometimes people don’t use their social media manners as they would (I hope!) in a face-to-face interaction.

Excellent post, Ann! Building relationships and developing your content are foundational keys to social media success. I would add, contribute something. Why should people follow you? What can you contribute to their day? My favorite tweeps to follow (and recommend) are the ones who enrich my day when they show up in my stream. It’s been said on Twitter many times, but it bears repeating, “Tweet others as you wish to be tweeted.”

Awesome post Ann. I love the way you emphasized relationship building. This is what some people new on social media forget. Relationship building takes time and also sincerity. So looking forward to meeting you in NYC in June for the #140 Conference.

I think instinctively I avoided asking others to RT my posts and instead focused on relationships. My parents always taught me that you must first give in order to receive. I’ve focused on commenting on blog posts (we all love that, right?) and responding to tweets of those I know I could work well with. I definitely RT others’ messages to my followers, but not without reading the whole post to make sure it is in line with what I believe and preach to my clients. Thanks for the post. I look forward to reading more!

I being a blogger send DM’s of RT requests, but before that I do ask them whether they are in a position to share my stuff or not, and I’m never afraid to get critics on my post, because when we start working on these critics we increase our standards of writing the perfect quality content.

When I had started my blogging journey with Twitter, I still remember a small lesson taught by my Queen Diana (@adamsconsulting). It’s so happened that whenever I used to send her DM’s, just after that I used to RT her content unknowingly. She just Dm’ed me and taught me the basic rules of Sharing and getting attention :D. So sometimes doing what I did with Diana, can give a bad impression about us on Twitter. So we need to make sure that we’re here to gain attention, but not for cluttering the mentions of others !!

As you have already said, just by 2 or 3 RT’s we cannot expect anyone to fulfill our RT request it takes time to connect with people and maintaining them is the “Key” 😀

I do get RT requests, but it so happens I RT of only those whom I know and if it’s a good content then I make sure it gets circulated everywhere.

Yes, “…focus more in creating content that will travel on it’s own merit.” It is wiser to make something of value than it is to promote some thing in an attempt to make it valuable…hey, I think I’ll tweet that!
Your writing has inspired me again, have a great day.

Thanks for another wonderful post. I have been following you and following little advises you give and they are really helpful. I have made some very good friends on twitter lately just because of that.

..and I guess it is you and 2morrowknight in the picture with awesome background, the photographer definitely needs to be given some compliment:)

Thank you for this great post! It amazes me that we have to talk about this in 2012. People do not realize that the way you act in “real” life is the same as the way you should act on social media outlets…

Great, great post Ann. I especially love the last part about making sure you’re publishing quality content. Ultimately, your content needs to be able to stand on its own merits to truly reach a wide audience.

Also, you are so right about the importance of relationship building and that it doesn’t happen overnight. True relationship building takes effort, time and sincerity of purpose. Help each other and everyone wins.

I don’t think I’ve really had anyone ask me to tweet or share something without building a friendly relationship first. My motto is to not have expectations of others. If I’m sharing their content on a regular basis, I don’t expect them to reciprocate. I’m sharing because I feel is worthy content to share. It’s the same as if I follow you, you don’t have to follow me back.