Trattorian Dr. Chhabra, Managing Director of Mergers & Acquisitions at the New London office of investment bank Goldman Sucks, steps outside.Dr. Chhabra: Did we really have to meet all the way out here? My office would have been fine, nobody would have heard.

Lord Wildman: You really haven't changed at all since Harvard, Dr. Chhabra. Dr. Chhabra: Just cut the slack and tell me what you know about how BEITC will move up or down or sideways or whatever.

Lord Wildman: I don't know anything. Dr. Chhabra: You're bullshitting me. You're an executive there, you got to know something!Lord Wildman: This is how you treat an old friend wanting to see you? Even so, I'm really sorry about this. Dr. Chhabra: About what?

The bushes rustle as Britannian forces step out.Dr. Chhabra: What in the actual fuck? I thought we were friends? Did you fucking set me up with the Britannian financial regulators?Lord Wildman: No, I'm really sorry.

Immortals: QuantumsurferObjective: Either torture insider M&A information out of Dr. Chhabra or get him off the board for later torture.Notes: Torture will be a skill vs skill roll with Dr. Chhabra being treated as an ordinary minifig with 1d6 skill.

The SEC Regulator calls his friends at the USA munitions company GI Brik Inc. on his bluetooth headset.SEC Regulator: Hey guys, this is the SEC here, asking you guys to lower the price of your bullets so that my Murican boys can fire 2 rounds this turn.

The feat crit fails, resulting in GI Brik raising the price of their bullets, hurting the Murican economy and resulting in an order to preserve ammo (halving skill penalty on all USA troops). The SEC Regulator balls up and cries like a baby.

The troops nonetheless fire on the Immortal VTOL.

For their trouble, 2 crit-fail and trip over themselves (disrupted) and only 1 manages to hit with the skill penalty. The shot harmlessly bounces off of the Immortal vehicle.

Lord Wildman: As a good Briton, I always carry warm earl grey on my person. Would you like a spot of tea, good sir?Dr. Chhabra: Ah, yes, I would very much like that. Finally, some civility in this barbarity.

Lord Wildman: WELL HOW ABOUT YOU GET A TASTE OF THIS BOILING HOT TEA IN YOUR FACE YOU BLOODY BLOKE!Dr. Chhabra: AHHHHHHHHH FINE I’LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT STOP IT!

Lord Wildman: Good, now tell us everything you know about upcoming mergers & acquisitions deals that Goldman Sucks is involved in.Dr. Chhabra: UNITED ASSYRIAN TECH ACQUIRING GI BRICK INC GOOGEL AND MISAKA FIGHTING OVER AI STARTUP BITFIT AND PUDDLE WEARABLES MERGING FUCKING SCIENCE I’M ON FIRE YOU SON OF A BITCHThe Accountant: We have the information we need to further the Immortal plan. Immortal & Britannian objective achieved.Lord Wildman: Wow, he broke easily. Fucking Tratt pussies.

Lord Wildman: Hi, Claybar bank, get my broker on the line. Yes, go and financially ruin Dr. Chhabra’s socialite life by destroying his contacts’ fortunes with financial fraud. You should be able to get his contacts from the Space Mafia. (feat successful).

The rest of the Britannian infantry line combine fire on the Trattorian soldier.

The Laplace hovertank drone runs over the big cluster of troops in the center of the board, killing 2 Britannians, 2 Immortals, a lawyork, and also totally inadvertently Dr. Chhabra. Another Immortal survives but is disrupted, while plowing through all those troops inflicted 1 point of size damage on the Laplace. Lord Wildman and the Accountant are redshirted, however.

The Laplace then fires its gatling guns at the Immortal Pequod, inflicting a point of size damage, but finds its main gun too long and unable to target the Britannians.

The Accountant: Fuck you, I’m going to cook your books and make you go bankrupt on those LIFE expenditures.
The feat fails and the SEC Regulator makes a ton of money.The Accountant: What the fuck ever.

The Accountant: Get up you fucking banker bitch. We’ve got places to go. Dr. Chhabra: But I’ve got a meeting with my clients at -

Dr. Chhabra: Oof!The Accountant: Hurry the fuck up and get us out of here!

The Pequod jets its engines and flies off the battlefield. Immortals have left the battlefield.

The Accountant: My lord, I have accomplished my mission and have brought forth a prisoner for your glory.Warhead, Sigma Shard: WELL SPAFF MY TITS BUT DID YA’ BRING ME ANY MOMS OR NEW BOOZE TONIGHT?

The Accountant: No sir, I have recovered valuable insider information on several upcoming corporate mergers and acquisitions that I believe, with further raids, could potentially disrupt the financial stability of the Anti-Immortal Alliance as well as complicate their logistical sup-Sigma Shard: BORING!The Accountant: I have also captured an M&A division Managing Director of Goldman Suck’s New London office.Dr. Chhabra: Please, sir spare my life! I have no quarrel with the Immortal empire, and I really need to make a client meeti-!

Sigma Shard: PUSSY-ARSE FUCKER BLOKE SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.The Sigma Shard leaps from behind his desk, cleaving Dr. Chhabra’s head off with a single swing of his OTC.The Accountant: My lord, he could have served as a valuable hostage or perhaps a bargaining chip during negotiati-