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Author
Topic: wtfwtfwtf (Read 9136 times)

So, I called up my boyfriend yesterday and asked him if he wanted me to stay the weekend up at his house, and my dad was willing to drive me up even though it was snowing, and he was like, 'Yeah!' so, my dad took me up and we spent the day and night together and we went sledding and it was fab and he kept telling me that after his friend left we'd have sex and shit and I was all excited to be spending time with him and have the opportunity to be alone with him later and shit.

So, later comes and she leaves and me and him are alone together and he gets in this fucking mood and I was like, "I thought we were going to...?" And he just goes to fucking sleep.

And then today he seemed fine at first, and then later on he was just like, "Yeah, I want to be alone." And I was like. ADJF@SdfDSf??? So I call my dad to come and bring me back home and he doesn't even care that my dad had to drive through the snow after it had snowed all day and night and he's just like, "Well, sometimes I feel like I have to be alone and shit, sorry." And my dad is fucking pissed at me because he thinks I'm the one that wanted to leave.

And my boyfriend's mom is all fucking sad and shit now cause she thinks I hate her or something. She offered to take us somewhere and I was like, "Sorry, my dad is coming to get me soon." And she was like. "Sorry we're not entertaining enough..."

And i felt like CRYING AND CRYING AND CRYING and being like BUT I DO WANT TO STAY I DO I DO I DO I DO.

aSFJKFLflkflkj;fas. I don't knwo what the fuckkkk happened. I feel like shit like I did something wrong and fucked up and didn't realize it and now he hates me or something.

Mouse, he's playing games with you. Not cool. Stick it to him. Don't call him for awhile or return his calls. Guys can treat girls like this when we're looking for attention or testing you. It's a shitty (to use your word) thing to do, and you should put a stop to it.

Mouse, he's playing games with you. Not cool. Stick it to him. Don't call him for awhile or return his calls. Guys can treat girls like this when we're looking for attention or testing you. It's a shitty (to use your word) thing to do, and you should put a stop to it.

Hope you feel better.

Z(who has done this to a few girls in his day, and finally grew up)

Yeah, that sounds completely mature. By the way, nice way to assume that we're a straight couple and that you know exactly what was going on in his head.

Jaser(who has been cranky to a few people in his day and thinks perhaps this is one of those days)

Firstly disregard ChaplinGuy's advice. I'm sure he meant well, but as you noted, it's not the best way to handle relationship hiccups. Mind games and spiteful tit-for-tat hissyfits are no way to treat the Boy You Love. That sort of approach is a good way to end up bitter and single.

Welcome to having a BF Baby-Boi. No matter how suited a couple maybe to one another there are gonna be times when one or both of you need some time away. Matty the Damned appreciates that you're feeling a bit rejected at the moment, but I'm sure the 'Pad wasn't trying to be hurtful.

I also appreciate that your dad is majorly annoyed with you, but he'll cope.

And so will you Bubby. Give the 'Pad 24 hours to work whatever goth/emo/artistic shit he is revelling in out of his system. If he's not phoned you by then, you call him. And don't be mad at him. Be patient. This is a time for talking not having the shits. If you do get all snippy he'll just get all defensive and you'll have a fight and then you'll end up in tears on Skype with Matteh.

I'll be hanging out with the boy... ready to get it on or have a good time or whatever... and suddenly... out of nowhere... I get moody and introspective...

It's really difficult because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings... but sometimes, what was an excellent time with the one you dig becomes a not so excellent time. And it's nothing to do with them at all.

I'm having as hard of a time trying to explain it now as I have had in the past... but I can relate to what your boyfriend seems to be going through.

And Jaser, believe me when I say I know it hurts... but he probably in no way means to be spiteful toward you.

SO identify with this, from your BFs point of view. I KNOW I can be a complete BITCH to my (not perfect but), patient,caring and forgiving partner. Its really NOT personal, you just happened to be there, I call it 'kick the dog syndrome'.Mattys right, give him 24 hours and ring him, act like its not happened, hopefully hes feeling guilty, but if not, its not worth getting into a row over what is done and can't be changedAnd dads are there to forgive usI'm sorry you feel so bad, hope it works outJox

Logged

I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Dont ditch the bf because he rejected you that night. He asked you to come over, then he got upset about something, and you were there at the wrong time, shit happens, people have ups and downs, just let him know your feelings next time you talk to him but don't attack him, you may well do the same thing one day, relationships are not always easy to handle, take time to know each other better and everything will work fine

I like the ADJF@SdfDSf? ?Huh??, I've felt that before but never was able to put it in writing as well as you did

Okay, honestly I think I'm probably just pissy because I'm really hurt and shit, but I'm glad that I'm not the only one that thinks that it was uncalled for, even if he didn't mean it like I took it.

If I say I'm not used to feeling rejected I'm going to sound like a silly, stuck up twit, but that's the truth. My relationship troubles usually lay in someone wanting to associate with me that are not so good for me. I'm not used to being the one that is told to fuck off.

Not that I think he REALLY wants me to fuck off, but I have that sort of feeling to myself and it's shit. I'm also really glad that people know what I'm talking about because otherwise I'd feel really selfish and silly - but the point is I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, whom I love madly, and he told me to go home.

It freaking sucks. Sucks sucks sucks.

Edit: Besides, in my head right now, he's missing me terribly and wondering why he ever wanted to spend time away from me and possibly listening to Bauhaus or Cursive and feeling broody and dramatic.

In reality he's probably painting right now or playing Gamecube, but the fantasy is a nice one.

Nobody likes the feeling of being rejected. There is nothing that pisses me off more than when I ask "what's wrong" and the reply is "nothing" but there is obviously something wrong.Feeling selfish is good. Altruism is a form of denial of yourself (I'm going to get hit on that one).It sucks, but it's Saturday. It's just been 24 hours. As time passes by you will go from shock to reason, and go from there.

Okay, honestly I think I'm probably just pissy because I'm really hurt and shit, but I'm glad that I'm not the only one that thinks that it was uncalled for, even if he didn't mean it like I took it.

If I say I'm not used to feeling rejected I'm going to sound like a silly, stuck up twit, but that's the truth. My relationship troubles usually lay in someone wanting to associate with me that are not so good for me. I'm not used to being the one that is told to fuck off.

Not that I think he REALLY wants me to fuck off, but I have that sort of feeling to myself and it's shit. I'm also really glad that people know what I'm talking about because otherwise I'd feel really selfish and silly - but the point is I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, whom I love madly, and he told me to go home.

And you're right. It sucks. It sucks a lot. Because you're lying in bed thinking what you did... replaying every minute back in your mind... obsessing over every thing you said and every action you engaged in wondering if you could have done something differently.... But believe me when I say (and you know I'm not one for making things seem sparkly and nice when they're not), he probably just had a weird mood swing... it happens to me... and my boyfriends have had them when I'm around. There's no rhyme or reason to them...

I really and truly don't think he meant be that way toward you... it wasn't calculated.

You dig him, right? Listen to the words of the Damned One... and call him when the prescribed time has passed if he has not yet done so.

And you're right. It sucks. It sucks a lot. Because you're lying in bed thinking what you did... replaying every minute back in your mind... obsessing over every thing you said and every action you engaged in wondering if you could have done something differently.... But believe me when I say (and you know I'm not one for making things seem sparkly and nice when they're not), he probably just had a weird mood swing... it happens to me... and my boyfriends have had them when I'm around. There's no rhyme or reason to them...

I really and truly don't think he meant be that way toward you... it wasn't calculated.

You dig him, right? Listen to the words of the Damned One... and call him when the prescribed time has passed if he has not yet done so.

I do think Matty is right in this case. Actually, I know he is, but I'm going to enjoy feeling sorry for myself for a few more hours and then call him tomorrow afternoon to make sure he feels guilty or something. And then on Wednesday we're going to see each other again and I'll probably get a cup of hot chocolate or a smoothie out of the whole thing if we go to this cafe afterwards. I just hope that it was just a mood swing, and in my heart I really think it was. I think he's weird and annoying and all but I love him and shit (for crazy reasons I'm not even sure of) and all I have to do really is think about us giggling gleefully when I asked him out and we both found ourselves in our first monogamous relationship when I'm angry at him. Hmph.

But as a side note, even though Matty is correct in this particular topic, don't always believe what he says. Sometimes he lies - like if he ever says anything to you regarding a comment I made offhandedly about you being cute-looking, it's just not true. Not that he's ever threatened to embarrass me like that or anything. It was just an example.

I do think Matty is right in this case. Actually, I know he is, but I'm going to enjoy feeling sorry for myself for a few more hours and then call him tomorrow afternoon to make sure he feels guilty or something. And then on Wednesday we're going to see each other again and I'll probably get a cup of hot chocolate or a smoothie out of the whole thing if we go to this cafe afterwards. I just hope that it was just a mood swing, and in my heart I really think it was. I think he's weird and annoying and all but I love him and shit (for crazy reasons I'm not even sure of) and all I have to do really is think about us giggling gleefully when I asked him out and we both found ourselves in our first monogamous relationship when I'm angry at him. Hmph.

But as a side note, even though Matty is correct in this particular topic, don't always believe what he says. Sometimes he lies - like if he ever says anything to you regarding a comment I made offhandedly about you being cute-looking, it's just not true. Not that he's ever threatened to embarrass me like that or anything. It was just an example.

Anyway.

Ha ha!

Yes, Matty is indeed right in this case.

And I would definitely encourage you to feel sorry for yourself... you're completely entitled to do so. If you didn't, that would mean you're totally insecure and have absolutely no sense of self-worth whatsoever.

The fact that you do shows that you have quite a strong personality.

P.S. Your BF is probably listening to something much worse than Bauhaus. He's probably crying into his pillow while listening to Bright Eyes.

P.P.S. And I'm fucking adorable as a fucking button. If you were, hypothetically, to say something about it... it would merely be a sign of good taste.

Good for you for not dragging his mother into the mix, although you could have. You said she loves you to pieces right?? You could have played that card, but you didn't, so good going there. It's gonna be okay

Good for you for not dragging his mother into the mix, although you could have. You said she loves you to pieces right?? You could have played that card, but you didn't, so good going there. It's gonna be okay

Yeah, that sounds completely mature. By the way, nice way to assume that we're a straight couple and that you know exactly what was going on in his head.

Jaser(who has been cranky to a few people in his day and thinks perhaps this is one of those days)

You have just been rude. If you do not want people's advice and opinion then why ask. Chaplin just wanted to give his own opinion. Sure he does not know what is in your bf's mind and nobody does except himself. Maybe at the beginning of the forum you should have stated that you only accept what you want to hear.

You have just been rude. If you do not want people's advice and opinion then why ask. Chaplin just wanted to give his own opinion. Sure he does not know what is in your bf's mind and nobody does except himself. Maybe at the beginning of the forum you should have stated that you only accept what you want to hear.

This is very true. Actually, the advice Chap. offered wasn't all that bad. It's how I would have dealt with it, most likely. Not only does one need to show that they still love/ care for the person that was rude and hateful, but they need to show that such behavior is NOT acceptable from the other party. I've seen far too many relationships where games are played... where one party dismisses the other as a form of exerting control. When that controlling behavior doesn't get the desired results, it'll generally stop. Actually, I probably would have stayed there at the BF's house and interacted with others (like his mom). Eventually, seeing you there and not being the center of your attention would have, most likely, gotten to him and I bet he would have straightened up his behavior then.

People, your BF in this case, need to learn that it's not OK just to have a 'bitchy moment', a time where it's fine to piss off / hurt others feelings / be mean just because they feel like it. It's taken me a few years to learn that what I say and do often effects others much more than I had intended. Like most, I can also be extremely mean, if I want to, but it's not generally necessary, especially when directed towards those that I care about. What I've learned is that often, what I say and do lasts a lot longer than the few moments of 'bitchiness' that I had intended for it to last. Take care.

When you ask a group of people WTF.... don't lash out when people tell you, from their perspective, what exactly the f is.

Shepsmom, for the record, mouse is positive, has been a a while now, and yep, he is 16. Sometimes he displays a remarkable insight and maturity beyond his years. This thread is not an indication of that, and I highly suggest you read some of his other threads to get a feeling of him thats more balanced and fair.

There is no excuse for being a jerk to anyone. Explanations? Sure, maybe. But no excuses. Mouse, your BF was a dick to you. If you let it go without a conversation, you give him permission to do it again. I am afraid I have to break ranks with matty and aupointillimite in this regard.

Jonathan(who has been treated rudely in the past, and decided to put an end to the concept)

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I think the advice he gave was absolutely wrong and a little out of line. Besides the fact that I was cranky to begin with, I get really angry when people try to encourage other people to do things that could be so blatantly straining on the relationship.

I didn't make this post for people to badmouth my boyfriend - and I'm sorry if I gave the impression that that was what I wanted. He is generally a fantastic boyfriend and that was mainly the reason that this issue took me so back, it was totally unlike him.

But, to suggest that someone act bitchy and bratty to their boyfriend because they were bitchy first just seems like an argument that is only valid in highschool court - which I've been involved in for several years now and have learned on behalf of my numerous friends that that's probably one of the best ways to get both sides to hate each other before a week is out. But I'm not going to argue about this - so I'm sorry for snapping but I'm not sorry for the way I felt about the post.

And yes, I'm 16 and HIV+. Most of the people on this forum are used to that so it takes me a moment to remember why people would be surprised by it. And no worries, I'm on top of everything enough to have realized it was good to find some support somewhere pretty early on and that's why I'm here! Although it seems that as my health improves, I get hit again with the stupid emotional teenager problems.

ANYWAY, he called me this morning and I was dead asleep, so I didn't hear it, but he left a message on my cellphone that was about the most pathetic thing I'd ever heard (in a completely endearing way). He apologized up and down and kept asserting that he was looking forward to seeing me on Wednesday and that we should go out somewhere this weekend - which is code for I'm going to be obsessed over all Wednesday night when we're with our friends and I'm going to get free food this weekend. FTW!

(But, really, though - I nearly melted with relief. He said in the message that his grandparents had stressed him out this weekend and that he was just feeling generally miserable and sick of people. I hate the fact that even as his boyfriend I'm still grouped into the 'of people' category, but I guess I can understand. I just hope he works through his people-phobia before we move in together this summer (which the plans are still on for, btw) so that we don't have arguments like this while we don't have anywhere else to run to. God that would suck.)

Yikes, just finished reading all the posts to this thread. Too much drama for me; didn't realize you were so young, Mouse. And my apologies for assuming you were a straight couple.

No drama involved. I just found your advice (however well intentioned it was) to be potentially harmful (if I had chosen to do what you'd suggested). I can't imagine ignoring him and acting like that would have had him very excited about working things out with me in a healthy way.

Although you've had a lot of adult stuff happen to you, the fact still remains - whether you like it or not - that you are still a teenager, learning and going through a myriad of changes. Which make dealing on an adult level that bit more challenging. I repeat challenging, not impossible.

I think I know you well enough to know that you're smart enough to know what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't. And I think you're also smart enough to know what the next step is.

I'm sorry you were on the receiving end of A's mood that day. But the bottom line now is this: you have a choice whether you're prepared to ask no questions and just accept it, then possibly (and most probably) wait for The Next Time. Or you can find out what the hell was going on and make it clear what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour to you in your relationship.

Melia x

Logged

/\___/\ /\__/\(=' . '=) (=' . '=)(,,,_ ,,,)/ (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

I'm sorry you were on the receiving end of A's mood that day. But the bottom line now is this: you have a choice whether you're prepared to ask no questions and just accept it, then possibly (and most probably) wait for The Next Time. Or you can find out what the hell was going on and make it clear what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour to you in your relationship.

Melia x

That's the point I was trying to make, but Melia has said it SO much better. Love is only part of a relationship. When one party 'learns' that it's ok to act a certain way, it can make things very difficult. I guess the blunt way to put it is that such behavior, from the biggest asshole to the best partner, needs to be nipped in the bud early on. If I act like an ass, I get ignored by my husband. I don't like being ignorered. It's a real incentive to think and rethink my behavior prior to actually having done whatever is in question. Good luck; it'll work out. It's just nice to have as smooth a road as possible on the relationship trip.

Quote Jonathan: "Mouse, your BF was a dick to you. If you let it go without a conversation, you give him permission to do it again. I am afraid I have to break ranks with matty and aupointillimite in this regard."

Mouse, I agree with Jonathan. If you let this sort of thing go, without a discussion about it, what will happen if this sort of flare-up takes place when you are living together....( where would he or you go to "get away from each other"). When you live together this sort of flare up and subsequent "making up" sometimes gets out of hand......you know. I have seen adults...who obviously never learned how to cope with relationships.. end up in the newspapers for having attempted to kill one another. I'm not saying that would happen to you Mouse....but its an extreem example of what happens when small things dont get resolved and grow into BIG problems in a relationship. If you pretend nothing ever happened its a mistake. Talk to your boyfriend about it.

Mouse, your BF was a dick to you. If you let it go without a conversation, you give him permission to do it again. I am afraid I have to break ranks with matty and aupointillimite in this regard.

Matty the Damned recommended that Squeak and his boy should discuss this matter. Rather than do so in the heat of a tiff, I suggested that the Smaller One give it 24 hours so that some calmness might prevail.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I'm glad your bf called and explained his actions but I agree with others-you shouldn't just drop it. But, be gentle but firm in telling him how you wish to be treated in the future. No matter your mood, respect for your lover should always come first.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are infected at such a young age. You seem to be dealing with it quite well. I hope your youth helps you to stay healthy for a long long time to come.

I think there are a lot of things in our relationship that he doesn't really seem to understand (but there are a lot of things I don't understand about him, either, so it's even). He seems to think that because I've been with more guys, that I should know a lot about how to handle our relationship and what to expect and stuff - but I'm seriously as clueless about this as he is because this is the first long-term relationship I've ever been in - easily the first one that's lastest this long (over 6 months). The others were over really quick (even the ones that I had thought were serious, and there was a few of those - some more serious than others). So, I don't know. I'm learning about this as I go along and I think I'm just going to have to tell him that he can't expect me to know everything or like... to be as patient with him as I'd like to be because my patience is shit and sometimes I really don't understand what's going on.

Blah blah blah.

I really do want this one to work out, because I'm seriously in love with this boy. And for the first time I can actually see something big coming out of a relationship. I know I'm pretty young to be considering like. Big time major commitment or anything and I understand that, but at the same time it's nice to have that feeling of security.