Monday, January 28, 2013

I went to the store to buy groceries for the week. A typical thing that everyone does at least once. Yes even the man of the house. I think my husband has been in the store at least once. While I was in the store I rounded the corner to find myself by the milk and eggs, both which I needed. I picked a carton of eggs and did what? You know what I did. I opened it to see if any were cracked, all of us do that.then I placed them in the basket them made one more stop at the meat counter to buy some roastbeef. Then I headed to the cash register to check out. I place all the items on the belt. Then here come my eggs. The cashier opened the carton and said " you have two cracked eggs." I replied "thats ok." and you would have thought I told her she had three eyes. She replied " what?, you dont want a new carton?" "No, I just take those." She even told the other cashier I was ok with having cracked eggs. I headed home and took the two eggs out and used them like I would use any of them. They still worked the same believe it or not. Well of course all of this started the wheels turning in my head. Dont we treat people the same. We dispose of them because they are not like the ones we are use too. They have some flaws or their immediate appearance it is not what we are use too. So we basically dispose of them in our own ways. We avoid them or we gossip about them.
Gods desire is that we love all people no matter how differnet they are from us. I have to admit it is not the easiest thing to do in the world but that is Gods desire. He wants all of us to be with him in heaven one day. I know that I am not perfect. I have so many holes and cracks that if I were a glass I could not hold water. God loves many anyway. I could only hope that I can love people like God loves me.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

It is very hard to believe I had a week like I just had. One week ago today I lost my father suddenly. I was sitting in church when my phone rang. Not to interrupt the service I quickly turned it off. I did not recognize the number so I did not return the call. On my way home my brother called and gave me the bad news. That was the moment when my world was turned upside down but in the midst of being turned around I found that I was stronger than I ever thought I could be. I cried really hard the first day then my strong willed self took over and told the cry baby to get out of the way. Something my daddy taught me. He taught me to be tough. I can remember the day he told to punch a girl in middle school because she was picking on me. I did and I was so proud to call him to tell him I won. I couldn't let things get in my way and now I wanted him to be proud of his girl taking care of business.. I had to start making decisions that I never made before and had to talk to more people than I every thought I would.. I walked to the casket and make sure he was perfect. I tucked his smokes in his pocket and gave him his waffle house coffee cup that he would need. Each guest at the wake was greeted by a hug and somewhat of a smile. I didn't shed a tear until they folded the flag that draped across the casket, I felt so guilty for not crying when everyone around was sobbing. I came home and collapsed on the couch. Exhausted but unable to sleep. After seeing my sister off and my brother and sit in the silence of my home my heart let go finally. The cry baby pushed the strong willed out of the way and said have at it. So the tears came. I am grateful for all the good times we had.I see more of him in me the older I get. He taught me how to mow grass. I love to mow grass just like him. He taught me how to throw a softball. He would say " No girl of mine is going to throw like a girl". Ask my girls how I throw., He taught me to punch. Don't mess with me or you might just get hurt.. ha ha. He always made me feel safe when he was around because he was tough. He taught me how to laugh, Always acting like a kid. There are so many things I cant list them all. But I do know that I didn't tell him I love him enough, I wished I could tell him one more time but I cant. So I have learned to not wait til tomorrow because tomorrow might never come,xoxoxo Daddy