Today I weighed in at 249 lbs for a loss of 1 lbs this week, a total of 41 lbs lost, 37 of them on JUDDD.

Wow. Even though it's just one pound and even though my weight loss is so much slower now than it was at the beginning, seeing a number that I haven't seen since college was a little emotional. It makes me remember that I'm still headed in the right direction and accomplishing things I haven't been able to accomplish before, thanks to JUDDD. If I'm true to form, I'll bounce back up next week, but I saw it on the scale this morning, so I'm calling it.

Instead of doing upsides and downsides this week, I'm going to give you the high point and low point of the week.

Low Points

My Less Than Stellar Down Day. I usually have iron control on down days...so I rarely worry about blowing it. This week, a meeting of the Historical Novel Society took place on a down day. I knew there would be food there, but I planned carefully, bringing my own deviled eggs and watermelon to share that would keep me under my 450 calorie down day limit. I also, fatally, gave myself permission to go a little bit over my limit if I had to. What I did not plan for was a reader showing up, having baked special cupcakes, and with books for me to sign. It was an amazing cupcake--and not just because it was baked with reader love--but sugar on a down day is, for me, the ultimate kryptonite. I should have asked her if I could take it home for the next day; that actually didn't even occur to me. I ate it and my calorie count went up to 700 calories. That's not a blown down day so I wasn't upset with myself, but it does mean that I can't be quite so confident about my down day powers. Coulda been worse, though. And I'm grateful that JUDDD gives me so many coping mechanisms and ways to make up for less than stellar days.

A Less Than Stellar Up Day. This week was the first week since November that I've wrestled most of my up days into some approximation of my target numbers. However, there was one up up and away day...and I was fascinated by my behavior. While it was initially triggered by out-of-control hunger, it eventually became about satisfaction. Everything I'd eaten all day was at the mercy of others--and not what I was craving--and I kept eating in search of something that was delicious. That I eat something delicious, something that triggers those pleasure centers in my brain, seems to be much more important to me than I would have suspected. I used to think it was a craving for a sweet or a dessert, but now I don't think so. I suspect there's a real chemical dependence upon whatever is released when your tastebuds are happy. I guess I could try to fight this, but it might be better to be more aware of this and try to plan at least one portion-controlled gourmet thing on each up day.

High Points

Full Fasting. I've done it again--and this time, it wasn't even planned. I told myself to eat when I felt hungry. But for some reason, on that day, I was fine. Again, it was a night I was teaching class, so I was so occupied that my mind wasn't on food. The scale seems to like it when I do it--maybe it helps make up for my excesses on up days--so maybe it will become a regular thing.

Yoga. I tried it this week and was sort of fascinated by things I can do now that I couldn't do 41 pounds ago. And I luxuriated in what felt good...and the pleasure of having a body that stretches and has strength and moves in new ways!

And what a JOY to hear you are trying new moves and learning fascinating new things! Just becoming more and more interesting!

Oh, I'm editing to ask .....
In the first few weeks, you were struggling with concentration on DDs, which was tough because of writing. Do you find that doesn't ever happen any more, or have you just found smart ways to handle it?

Steph, I think you did GREAT on your DD. You just went a little over, and it probably meant the world to your reader to see you enjoy her gift so much. I was so interested in your comment about the brain chemicals and pleasure sensations via tastebud. I wonder sometimes too, why it isn't as simple as it sounds to stay in control. Very intriguing!

Congrats on a new decade and a weight you haven't seen in awhile! . That's a big one too! Now you're downhill towards onederland! Love the updates - love you!

Congrats on your new decade! Love when I reach a new decade. Your storyteller is showing -- through your weekly posts you are going to be able to look back when you are in onederland and closing in on goal and wonder at the continual learning and adjustments you were able to pull off that kept you going. Then you can congratulate yourself!! Awesome and inspiring commitment!

Oh, I'm editing to ask .....
In the first few weeks, you were struggling with concentration on DDs, which was tough because of writing. Do you find that doesn't ever happen any more, or have you just found smart ways to handle it?

This almost never happens anymore. When my hunger intrudes, I have a cup of tea and it goes away for at least an hour or two. If it doesn't go away, I make some broth or maybe eat an egg or a bag of Trader Joe's kimhci.

The fact that these small steps are now enough is as much of a shock to me as to anyone because this was definitely not the case when I first started out. My hunger laughed bitterly in the face of a cup of tea. Now tea can keep me going through dinner and sometimes even beyond. (It's also possible that so many up up and away days are making me less hungry on down days. I'm not sure.)

I am a newbie and I've read all of your past posts and I have to say you are a true inspiration! Your determination and insight on your weight loss journey are so helpful to me. Congratulations on your New Decade!!

I was sure I responded to this thread earlier, but don't see it now. I may have actually been interupted and had to do some work (shhhh!).

Anyway, I'm so proud of you! A new decade and a new half-century! I remember how excited I was when I got to 249. I think the JUDDD Buddds heard my screams clear in the UK! For me, it solidified that I really COULD do this, that I could keep going and actually make my goal. I hope you get the same kind of motivation. You're doing great!!

Excellent report, Steph!! I can hear the thrill in your words at reaching a new low. Cupcake, schmupcake, who cares, you've been having 0 DDs!!! Surely one little 700 DD didn't do a darn thing. Obviously, since you're back in your college pants. WTG!!!

__________________

"Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway."

I hope that when I've been on JUDDD 37 weeks, I will maybe finally be able to do a '0' DD. I love how your posts put everything i n perspective and give insight, and stuff to identify with, and I'm glad you are here sharing on this board, I feel lucky I am a member of this forum at the same time you are

I'm hearing you on eating around until you are *satisfied*... I've had that as an issue for a long time (celery, then carrots, then 1 pc of cheese, then, and then, and then... all to avoid whatever I was avoiding, which I eventually eat ON TOP OF all the avoidance food.).

I like the idea of planning a gourmet yummy thing, to avoid the avoidance.

But if it doesn't happen, I want you to have an emotional plan in place so that you don't blow the whole day b/c your carefully laid plan for a gourmet meal or treat didn't happen.... just saying, b/c life *is* going to happen, and the saying about our carefully laid plains being laughed at by the cosmos

You have come sooooooo far, and I'm loving being part of and observing your journey.
Keep on rocking girl !!!
S.

Oh Steph, how amazing is it to be back at a weight from college!!!!???? WOWZERS, that is so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your path with us. We all benefit from it more than you can even know. Also, I just love hearing you talk about how much better your body feels and moves. WTG, JB!!