When I was a younger man things were a lot different than they are now. Not all of it was for the better. As depressing as the internet can be it does make it easier for everyone's dirty little secrets to come to light. I don't miss that part, so much. But what I do miss is the way comics used to be priced. Back in the day, I could scrounge some change out of my Gran's couch cushions and take it to a local recycled bookstore that was renovated out of an opera house my family used to own. I would swagger through the front entrance tipping a derby at the doorman, and flashing a glint of silver between my fingers. The cashier nodded, and pressed a button under the register. A bookcase slid across the floor revealing an iron wrought staircase, and I descended it into what I always imagined was what used to be the orchestra pit under the theater. That is where I found what I desired: Rows and rows of white boxes filled with every comic book imaginable, illuminated by soft white light that somehow filled the entire room. A subtle series of bells sounded from an unseen source, and a single poster board said the words I would never forget "All comics $.25." It was a magical time, but unfortunately one that would not last.

Then quickly things changed, and comics were no longer $1.25. Suddenly they were $2.50 and came with a bullshit trading card I already had. Put a crappy Wolverine Hologram on the cover, and now they are $3.00. Make that cover two pages and it's $3.25. Make the Hologram 3D, and now the book is $3.50. The whole pricing point just kept getting worse and worse. At one point a comic book fan and affluent banker looked at me condescendingly through a monocle and said "Outrageous prices, you say? Perhaps if you would stop being so lazy and get a second job you could afford comics". Then he cackled like the Penguin and drove off in a Ford Escort trailing exhaust and laughter in his wake. Comic book fans all over cried out for a Champion. We needed a man so large in stature and girth that the truth could not escape the pull of the gravity of his conclusions.

We needed Jude Terror. For a time, things were good. Jude's legendary "5 Comics for Under $5 Dollars" articles were a big hit. At the height of their power, they did something that no one thought was possible. Jude's article caused DC Comics to reduce their entire line below the $5 dollar pricing point. Maybe it had to do with something else, maybe not. But something inescapable changed in Jude. Someone offered him money, and suddenly he could afford $5 comics. The internet cried out for help again.

I answered that desperate call. Rising from the ashes of the success of Judas Terror, I give you the phoenix reborn! Welcome to ALL-NEW ALL-DIFFERENT SAY NO TO $5 COMICS NOW!

Aftershock Comics – Pestilence #3 - $3.99

By Frank Tieri and Oleg Okunev

Pestilence is a fantastic book that tells the story of the bubonic plague in medieval Europe but with the added twist of all the dead plague victims being revived as zombies. This has been a highly entertaining book so far, and a non-stop roller coaster of action, fantasy and horror all blended together. If you enjoy a good piece of history with an added supernatural element, this book is for you.

Here's the solicit:

How did Roderick Helms' and Geofrey Anteil's journey as members of Fiat Lux begin? We find out this issue as a journey of another sort is underway for Fiat Lux - a race to rescue the Pope himself in Avignon! What knowledge of the zombie plague does the Pope possess? And will he share it with Roderick and his men before it's too late? Written by the master of violence, gore, and mayhem, Frank Tieri (Marvel vs Capcom, Wolverine, Deadpool), with spectacular art from Disney illustrator, Oleg Okunev, and covers by Eisner Award-nominated artist Tim Bradstreet (The Punisher, Hellblazer)!

Dynamite Entertainment – Magnus #2 - $3.99

By Kyle Higgins and Jorge Fornes

Dynamite's new comic, Magnus, is a techno thriller definitely worth taking a look at the next time you visit your local comic book shop. Doctor Kerri Magnus has a unusual vocation, tending to the psychological needs of AI having an identity crisis. Mixing Murder mystery and sci-fi thriller, this new adaptation is worth a look.

Here's the solicit:

In the aftermath of a high-profile murder committed by an artificial intelligence, psychologist Kerri Magnus has been tasked by the authorities to play bounty hunter and bringing the rogue AI to justice. But inside the AI's virtual world, nothing is quite as it seems - and she risks losing her very sanity the longer she stays inside of it... BONUS TUROK STORY! The thrilling conclusion! Turok finally receives the crucial information he needs, and makes his move to escape the clutches of Railtown - but standing in the way of freedom is an army! Now Turok must FIGHT his way to freedom!

Image Comics - Bitch Planet Triple Feature #2 - $3.99

By Che Grayson and Sharon de la Cruz

Bitch Planet Triple Feature is a interesting set of side stories that are set in the world of Kelly Sue DeConnick's Bitch Planer. Set in a dystopian world ruled by a literally patriarchy, Bitch planet has a way of telling wacky stories in the Dystopian genre. This book is a must have for anyone who likes 70's exploitation films.

Here's the solicit:

DECONNICK & DE LANDRO PRESENT: The Triple Feature! Patriarchy beware?this sci-fi kidney punch can't be stopped! Return to BITCH PLANET for more tales from a world gone upside down?that might just be around the corner? Plus all the backmatter you can handle! 100 percent Grade A satire. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies.

Boom! Studios – Sisters of Sorrow #1 - $3.99

By Kurt Sutter and Courtney Alameda

Sisters of Sorrow is dark and violent story focused on the workers of a local Women;s shelter. By night these women take to the streets in search of vengeance for the abused. The art of this book is stunning and definitely worth more than a cursory glance.

Here's the solicit:

Kurt Sutter (Sons of Anarchy, Mayans MC) brings this all-new original tale of revenge and recovery to comics with novelist Courtney Alameda (Shutter) and breakthrough artist Hyeonjin Kim. By day, Dominique, Greta, Misha, and Sarah run a nonprofit women's shelter. At night, they each don a nun's habit and move through Los Angeles hunting down violent abusers who have escaped justice. Their increasingly public vigilantism has earned them the nickname Sisters of Sorrow, and has drawn the ire of L.A.'s notorious anti-crime task force.

Pick of the Week: IDW Publishing – Ducktales #0 - $3.99

By Joe Caramagna and Gianfranco Florio

ith the new Ducktales television show write around the corner, it's not at all a surprise that Dynamite would have a comic ready to go. Turns out, It's a double feature kind of book, so it has multiple stories to read that are good for children. But that doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed by all ages, if you're feeling a twinge of nostalgia pick it up and enjoy it yourself.

Here's the solicit:

DuckTales (woo-hoo) returns! Featuring beloved characters like Uncle Scroohge, Donald Duck, and Huey, Dewey, and Louie, this new #0 issue is the perfect jumping-on point for fans old and new in anticipation of the brand-new Disney XD TV series coming Summer 2017! Experience the wackiest, quackiest hijinks in two brand (Duck) Tales!

Remain ever vigilant in the face of certain unnecessary costs, True Believers! Did I miss something you think deserves to be mentioned? As always, let me know in the comments below.

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About the Author - Chad Tucker

Also known as NoctourneM, Chad is from down south in the magical land of Texas where the cattle roam free, the barbecue is delicious, and everything is bigger. After failing to be bitten by a radioactive spider after numerous attempts, he settled for his secondary choice of powers: Being a complete smart ass much to the chagrin of both open-carry nuts and the local police. Chad possesses a profound love of comics, art, history, violent cartoons, movies, video games and the horror genre. After the violent murder of his two favorite superheroes, he took up the task of vigilante reviewing, swearing to do all that he could to make sure no comic fan would have to live through Superior Spider-man or Final Crisis again. Never Again.
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