I woke up with “When Johnny Comes Marching Home” in my head. I hummed it while I was making T.’s lunch and waking him up and making breakfast. He began to whistle along, although the end he whistled was slightly different. I realized why when he asked me what the real words to the song were; he was whistling the ant version.

Even his ant version and mine are slightly different. Mine counts up the ants to ten, when they “all go back and start again.” Which led to a discussion of endless songs, like “99 Bottles of Beer.” Perhaps because he’s reviewing integer math in school right now, he sang “Negative one bottles of beer on the wall.” I explained that no, you sing, “Go to the store, buy some more, 99 bottles of beer on the wall” to bring despair into the hearts of parents who thought the torture was finally over.

Which does not explain how one goes to the store after 99 bottles of beer, but some of the mysteries of the universe ought to remain enigmas.