Of Clubhouses and Civilians

One of the phrases I’ve coined in my time back in this space was “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, but for a man to take the red pill requires a kick in the balls” , I’m sure a lot of people just assumed this was a funny turn-of-phrase to highlight how difficult it is to get a man to take the red pill, however the serious meaning behind it, is that The Red Pill has a very narrow market appeal. Game, Pick-up material, work-out advice, style advice, grooming advice, hell even a cooking show for men has a huge broad market appeal. After all, what guy doesn’t want to look good, feel good, get laid and eat well?

However, the “Red Pill lens” is a very hard sell for one simple reason, it requires accepting some very harsh truths about men, about women, about intersexual dynamics and about the world at large. In many cases, it requires you to accept that you’ve put years, maybe even decades of effort and resources into investments that never had any value. The right mindset to be willing, and even grateful for the opportunity requires a man who has been pushed to a limit where he is feeling so much pain, frustration and anguish that he is willing to try literally anything to improve.

This is why the majority of the influx that come to The Red Pill specifically are men who have dated crazy women, gotten hit hard in divorces or otherwise live in abject misery. For most men, they need to be pushed to a crucible, where they find the catalyst for not only wanting to change, but being forced to change. When you come to The Red Pill, the medicine hurts almost as much as the sickness, and nobody is going to subject themselves to chemo unless they have cancer.

My favorite Rational Male essays are “Betas in waiting” and Saving the best” these are Rollo’s finest work, but they are also the most jarring. A man who reads these essays without being in the right mind-state is just going to outright reject the narrative within them and run back to his illusion. Thus, there is an ample market for the “purple pill”, which is a less harsh, and more marketable worldview because “A woman can never love you how you want to be loved” is just plan too harsh.

It’s correct, but it’s harsh. For this reason, The Red Pill has become something of a clubhouse for only men who have been pushed to that point. It reminds me of the military in that before they can build you up, they have to tear you to shreds. The world tears these men apart, and The Red Pill builds them back up stronger.

To be quite frank, we are seeing a lot more of what Rian Stone referred to as a “Balkanization” of The Red pill and the manosphere in general. We have Red Pill men, TRP subreddit veterans, Tradcons, Pleighboys, MGTOW, and various groups all advocating for their particular take and prescriptions. The funny thing about it, we all seem to agree on the core materials, but everyone has their take on the prescription.

I get it, this little clubhouse is fun, but if we keep infighting, splitting the community into little kingdoms each with their own views on “Now that you know the red pill, here is what you should do“, as long as people do not put cooperation first, the community will not reach a critical mass where it can break into the mainstream, at least among men, prospective recruits will be turned off from the community because it appears like a bunch of douchebags all fighting to be top dog, and most importantly you are making it easy to split the community pizza into an increasing number of slices, until little remains other than a bunch of people taking shots at each other over the prescription counter.

Fuck the 4th Wall

I could leave the Carl mask on for this, but to be fucking honest, I’m going to let the Carl Persona take a little well-deserved break, he gets a little spergy sometimes, and I’ll have John the corporate psychopath jump through the 4th wall and tell you exactly why this keeps happening:

We all love to talk about what happens when women enter a male space, the focus of the space slowly shifts away from the activity the men were working to accomplish and towards the goal of the woman, which is to lock down the highest value male. This results in that a previously cooperative group of men start fighting each other for the top spot in the hierarchy, which has the effect of breaking down group cohesion. Without this cohesion, the men no longer associate, and thus their project ends up never being finished.

What we have here, is a big clubhouse that is slowly breaking down into many small clubhouses because everyone wants to be top dog, that’s how this shit works. Men try to establish themselves as the top dog and shot-caller in the main group, when they fail to do so, they manufacture a public conflict to give them a legitimate reason to break away. Usually this plays out over a some time where they slowly build support behind the scenes, plan their strategy, then at an opportune moment when they sense weakness, they strike and try to create division so they can hijack the main group or at least try to take a good chunk of followers with them.

This is really fucking easy to do in the manosphere, because a huge part of the community are gossip hungry drama queens who love to watch daddy and daddy fight. A large part of the community have fuck-all social skills and the only two game techniques they ever learned were AMOGs and negs. But not even good AMOG, just “MOAR ALPHA” and shit talking, you know, the type of AMOG tactic that if used in the real world would get you a beating. Add to it some overblown egos, some narcissism, and the fact that most men do not bother looking behind the curtain and a competent Machiavellian could probably blow up the manosphere in 30 days or less.

In doing so, they frequently manage to establish themselves as top dog in a breakaway group that has less influence, less adherents and less power. This gets them what they ultimately wanted, their own little kingdom, however it comes at a terrible cost to the big picture. Not only do such schisms cause the larger group and movement to lose momentum, influence, and power. It also turns prospective new members off, and negatively influence how outsiders see movement. The Manosphere already has a massive freaking public-relations problem, we have a reputation for being misogynists, bigots, sexists, for being overly aggressive idiots with hair-triggers who cannot get along with anyone. The worst part is that most people who are involved do not stop long enough to realize that they are pawns in a gambit for queens bid to be king.

However, they are not doing it to get access to the few women that associate with the red pill (for the most part), largely we are talking about men who are after status and notoriety, they want narcissistic supply and admiration, more than money. I’ll be honest, I’m more concerned about these men than the grifters, because at least you can tell quite easily if an account owner is only after money, because they always take a lb of flesh for each oz they leave.

This type of man would rather be king of the ashes than an equal partner in prosperity, because what matters to them is not the community, not income, not helping others, not producing content, but their own status and the recognition they get simply for being a top of the hierarchy. However, the manosphere is largely a meritocracy, the men who are at the apex are there because they put in the work, and continue to put in the work. Creating content, networking, being available on social media, answering emails and blog comments, doing podcasts and everything else. It is as the old adage goes:

“If you cannot blind them with brilliance baffle them with bullshit”

So instead of men competing at creating the most value for the community, we get men engaging in twitter beef, AMOGing, trolling, which at best is a distraction, but at worse lead to content creators spending their time deflecting and dealing with drama instead of creating content. This is a lose-lose proposition for anyone except the poorly disguised Machiavellian only out for their own status and willing to burn this community to ashes in their pursuit of status within it.

Summary and Conclusions

I think of what we are trying to do as a noble pursuit. The world kicks the crap out of men, then once their have been shredded much in the same way the military shreds a new recruit, they come here and we try to build them back up. However, a lot of men kill themselves, many never find us and suffer in misery, the content and the men willing to help them are here, but they have no idea we exist. In order for them to find us, we have to be more visible.

I would like more men to be able to be able to take the journey I’ve traveled myself, because in the end all that pain and suffering I went through helped me become a man who lives life on his terms. I want The Red Pill to have more influence and be more well-known. This is largely why I decided to approach every man who creates content in this space with an outstretched hand offering cooperation, and why I block very rarely.

Have I been perfect in this? No, not at all. However, to my knowledge, I’ve never started a beef, I’ve only partaken in them when I felt it was absolutely necessary. Not because of being conflict avoidant, but because I see the game for what it is, men wanting to maintain their clubhouse which is the only place they have any status, or men wanting to create a clubhouse where they can have status.

Don’t let the big picture be ruined by men who are only out to maintain their status as a 3 eyed fish in a toxic, sludge filled puddle, when we could invited many more fish into a great big lake.

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[…] One of the phrases I’ve coined in my time back in this space was “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, but for a man to take the red pill requires a kick in the balls” , I’m sure a lot of people just assumed this was a funny turn-of-phrase to highlight how […] Source link […]