Category Archives: submissiveness

This is a message I just received from an adult site (all typos, and grammatical questionability are his own):

Hi Now I know you are young and have wild fantasy’s but I felt I would set the record strait for you .You want a man to take you ,be rough with you ,but in reality you want to be the dominate one .Then you want to be the submissive one .My advice chose which one you want to be ,or you will be disapointed in your life .I know there are “so called switchs ” but in reality they are one side or the other and when they do the other side it is never fully as good as a true dom or sub.So my sweet enjoy your life and should you ever get to calgary look me up and I will leave your ass bruised and your cunt sore from being used .master j

Now Master J clearly feels that he has deep psychological insights into me based on a few lines in a profile, and some carefully selected blog posts that I chose to carry over there.

However he raises an (interesting?) …well a point anyways. The thing is, I don’t really think I’m a D or an s. I think I want to be kinda bossy and bitchy every once in a while. But at the same time, I would also like to have someone tie me up and take me. But being bound and fucked isn’t the same and being dominated in my mind.

To me it’s just a matter of taste, and quite simply, I like it a bit harder and rougher, and less sweet and romantic. But being spanked, or punished is not a turn-on for me. And I know that there’s a very special relationship between master and pet, and I would never presume to claim that I could fulfill either of those roles to anyone’s satisfaction.

That being said, you’ve all read my posts about wanting a slave on here. And that my darlings? Let me clarify again…is purely selfish and lazy. For a while, I would simply like someone to do whatever it pleases me to demand request. I don’t think that makes me a D, I think it’s pure fantasy that I can’t imagine anyone in life ever fulfilling except as maybe a special treat on my birthday or something.

As for master j? His arrogance and condescension are precisely why I have no interest in being a sub. It is an absolute impossibility that I could be obedient and respectful when being spoken to like that. I pride myself on my intelligence, and if I choose to dumb it down? It’s strictly for my own needs and pleasure and not to placate any man’s ego.

Sorry it’s been a while lovelies…occasionally life gets in the way of flirting with you all.

So I’ve been thinking lately about the dom/sub thing. You see on the whole. I’ve had relatively traditional sex and haven’t engaged too much in any kind of fetishes or extreme lifestyles.

The fact that I like things a bit rough, don’t mind being tied down and have rape fantasies implies a submissive personality to me. But I think “submissive” and I think about being ordered around, and being spanked. And that doesn’t really do it for me.

I think I just like rough sex, but want it on my own terms.

And a part of me does fantasize about having a sex slave. One who would massage me, and do whatever I ordered him to do whenever I ordered it. Cause sometimes? I really just want my nipples sucked. That’s all. Once it’s done he can go away.

See? I want it on my terms.

But, the way I understand most “Masters” is that everything they do is actually for the pleasure of their sub/slave. (And their own pleasure of course)

So this begs the question:

Am I just kind of bossy and lazy for just wanting a slave to do whatever I want for my own pleasure alone?