Previous Season's Results

Match Reports are written immediately after the game and are a representaion of what happened on and off the field. Other information such as players, reserves, points and scorers are also included along with previous game reports from matches against that team with photographs and videos if available.

1st Half
On a sunny, calm, fogless day that was slightly stodgy underfoot, the Mighty Keith rugby team hosted the "I've found another club to play for" ex Linwood Samoans-now Otautahi team.

The first throw of the game gave Otautahi a slight break, with 1 large forward (and weren't they all large!) came within 10m of our line when some hand appeared in the ruck to disrupt yet give away the first penalty of the game.
Otautahi's decision to tap turned against them when the advantage went to the Keith's and Bravo just missed the chance for a clear pair of heels down their sideline.
Otautahi pressured yet a Keith lineout gave a stupendous 10m drive away form our line.
However continued pressure from Otautahi and a few missed tackles (their feed of pork bones seemed to enlarge them even more) allowed a converted try
Score 0-7 after 10mins

Restart and a small gap gave another 7 pointer under the sticks even before we recovered from the first one! 0-14

An immensely fearless break by young Swede took us to their 22, by this stage I was getting a sore neck and felt I was at a tennis game (personally I detest kicking games)
Eventually we stayed at their 22 after Darryl realised he could kick n chase (tho did anyone else SEE that number 11 of theirs-geesh) Muncher in full gallop hunting down same said winger, allowed a Keith throw, drive and kick. However back to our half again to reform and re-charge.
Otautahi were tiring and allowed a sneaky Keith kick over the halfway which eventually ended up forced. Some Otautahi twat was in front of his kicker that gave possession back to Keith
More too-in n fro-in back n forth then Poacher's little chip put Bravo in, in the corner. The excited crowd erupted and even more so with Oscar's skud missile, earth worm decapitator conversion kick that somehow went over!!

I dare say after that excitement we were stunned at Oscar's -well I'm not sure if it was a mating ritual dance or war dance really but images of John Cleese doing his Basil Fawlty German walk suddenly popped into my head but with higher knee ups!
Score 7-14

Pressure on Otautahi allowed another mammoth drive. Keith pressure and driving put "I'm once again a new boy" Ping" in under the maul for more points-however unconverted this time

Brilliant strong runs by EB, Jimmy and Dave at times made you remember what rugby's all about.
Score 12-14 with about 6minutes to go (by my watch)
At this point Scotty arrived with his beer n deck chair and two extra legs-a stretched Achilles, technically out for 4 weeks but hey this hard Maori boy wants to back on the field next week!!
Worz too arrived to support and should be making an appearance in the next month as well. Sweet free transport if he brings a Redbus to the clubrooms for the town revellers!

Good to see Dave C out there except he must have been too pretty as some Samoan split his face and there was a lot of claret-so off for stitches he went and the newly named Sonic Hedgehog took his place (that's Johnny Newcombe to those who weren't at his christening)

Penalty awarded just on halftime but ahhhh no Desperate tackling from Keith to leave the score as is at the half
Half time score 12-14

2nd Half
After Chief Kearnsy gave smoke signals in the huddle (like when did HE become a co-coach!) we were all off and running again. Subs occurred and Ping was given a well earned rest-tho I must say it was only a 40minute run ya did Pete! But no injuries woohoo!! A rampant Uli was off and in there as Ping's replacement.
Now with replacements I know everyone got on but hey I'm a girl and was trying to watch, write, entertain and nurture tho thank god Leyton now has his first aid cert and there were more water boys around. I am multifunctional just not superhuman!
Otautahi kept the pressure on, well actually soft kicks by ourselves leaves us in no doubt that we are on……………defence. Sorry our kickers it wasn't your day.

1 small intercept well actually a huge one, Biggy (aka Barry aka Ginga aka ya Cornish pratt -but we luff you) if ya wanted that fellas phone number just ask for it don't bloody well hand the ball to him sweet lord!
Otautahi scored taking the official numbers 12-19.
More raw fish instead of water in their bottles gave Otautahi the energy for another try tho unconverted but it was with very powerful running score 12-24
Swede was rested and the manager Phil ran on.
A Keith drive, kick, Otautahi kick another nice run by Darryl (tho it nearly killed him and he had to come off screaming for drugs) turnover and a knock on by Otautahi. Gave Keith a weee breather.
At one point the ref called time off for god only knows what but Uli passionate as ever, took a throw in to himself was running strongly and wondering why no one was chasing him!

On goes Lars (no favouritism here from the whanau but he did play well once he got his lazy arse out there) Nice linking by himself and the Poacher and strong driving.
Our water boys forgot Barry when some pillock's decided to do a "Tealata" on his throat, so some large dark fella gave him a drink and didn't want their bottle back!
Then words of wisdom floated from some dodgy looking supporters and I quote " get up ya bald fat ginga" introductions Mr and Mrs Gibbs aka Mum n Dad Biggy are on the scene and I must say they rock!
At that point some Otautahi forward swore quite loudly so I reminded him that ladies were present that that wasn't respectful-apology accepted and he was such a humble lad, large but humble.
Communication break down (slightly) allowed Otautahi again in under the sticks score 12-36
Gus was replaced and rushed off to the changing rooms coz he got quite excited that the women's team were in there changing. Chilli and Tai trotted on to get down n dirty and the new boy Jimmy got a rest. Welcome Jimmy you now remember what the 15 man game is like again (ps sorry about that scare I gave you honest ya wedding ring was fine in my pocket)
Nice spinning of the ball (and at least we could see it from any angle) ended with Bravo over the line-side line that is 5m scrum, more defence.

By this stage I had writers cramp, everyone was playing their wee hearts out and I reckoned there was about 2 mins since the ref had said there was only 3 left and after 7 more minutes it was a well deserved beer in the changing rooms.

Final score 12-36

My last say-you boys look sharp in the tracksuits and honestly you played well, keep your heads up because when you meet them next it's going to be your day.
Thank you to the stand in photographer Fliss-some great shots were taken and Lars will arrange to get these on the net.
And finally Johnno god only knows how the hell you watch, write and take photos we commend you!
I'm away in Welly QBday weekend at my annual tournament so I expect regular updates!!