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My name's Nicole - a Toronto-based makeup addict. Welcome to my corner of the web where I share my love & experiences with all kinds of beauty, makeup & skincare products. Head on over to my About Page to learn more about me.

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NEWSLETTER

Saturday, January 30, 2016

These are the products that I've been using for almost a year (most). They keep my face pimple-free - except for the monthly zit I get right when mother nature gifts me. 99.9% of the products I use are from the brand Atomy. It's a Korean based brand that carries high end goods for low prices. They are also all organic.

Makeup Remover:Bioderma Sensibio H2O Micelle Solution - safe to use on eyes. soothes and clears up irritated skin. do not need to rinse off.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

When you have hundreds (or maybe thousands) of pictures saved onto your computer, it's sometimes hard to find what you're looking for. If you're a "picture hoarder" like me , then you'd agree that you find it difficult to differentiate them from useless and worthy of keeping.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

ColourPop is a cosmetic brand based in Los Angeles, California. They provide great quality make up at an affordable price. Another notable fact: they are a cruelty free brand and most of their products are vegan.

I've purchased their Lippie Stix, Super Shock Shadows, and blush before. But the one thing I find myself always going back for is their Ultra Matte Liquid Lipsticks. Here is my growing collection of their liquid lipsticks:

L-R:

Solow: neutral nude pink

Midi: a soft neutral beige

Trap: dusty greyed out beige

Beeper: warm mid-tone taupe

Kapow: muted grey taupe

Chilly Chili: muted plummy brown

Tulle: dusty mauve burgundy

LAX: blackened red

Jellies: rich cobalt blue

Dr. M: deep blackened green

A lot of these are in the same colour range (mauve-brown). Although, I'd say that my favourite shades would have to be Trap, Beeper, and Chilly Chilli.

Naturally, it being a matte liquid lipstick, it does dry your lips out. Be sure to moisturize your lips well so that when it does get to that point, the dryness is at it's minimum. Aside from that, all of ColourPop's liquid lipsticks are only $6USD and shipping is a reasonable price. It's worth a try and I recommend them if you want quality makeup but are on a budget.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

I once read somewhere: You will never find the right person if you never let go of the wrong one. That quote couldn't be anymore relatable to this one story I know. And that story just so happens to be the coming of my relationship.

We all have to meet the "wrong ones" before coming across the right one. Unless it was an arranged marriage (which in that case, I hope you've eventually fell in love). What I'm trying to say is both Darwin and I were, without a doubt, alongside the wrong ones before we found each other.

You see, I was with someone who I used to see once a month or sometimes even less than that. We were constantly fighting, if not everyday, every week. "Breaking up to make up" sort of deal. There were always rumours that I would hear about him that did not at all benefit me. Darwin, on the other hand, was dating a girl that had so little trust in him that she had to check in on him every night and make sure he was being faithful. She'd be too controlling to the point where he was even restricted from spending time with his friends. To get right to the point, we were both living unhappily in very unhealthy relationships.

That was until we just so happened to have a mutual friend, Kristine. She was a neighbour and childhood friend to Darwin. To me, she was a friend that I met in high school. I've heard Kristine speak of Darwin on a few occasions in class, but I never really paid it much attention to find out who he really was. He, however, (told me after a while of being friends) knew of me after adding me on Facebook a while back.

Darwin and I were officially introduced to each other on January 7, 2011. On this day, I was with one of my friends and we were going to go to a party. This friend of mine coincidentally lived in the same area as Kristine. So, before going to the party, we decided to go see her. When we called up Kristine, she just so happened to be with Darwin at the time. To sum up what happened, all four of us ended up hanging out for an hour before my friend and I left for the party. On the same night, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument which resulted in our absolute final break up.

The next morning, I woke up to a few texts from a number that wasn't saved onto my phone. Reading them over and over again, it took me a while to figure out it was that guy (Darwin) from the day before. How did he get my number? Of course, Kristine gave it to him. From there on, we started talking. And that was the initial spark of a soon-to-be big flame.

From that day forward, we texted each other a few times daily. He and I somewhat took the same route home, so I would see him often after school at the subway station. Darwin would always come up to me and greet me with a hug each time he saw me there. Our encounters were limited to those times only. Up until Kristine was introduced to one of Darwin's family friends, Joe. They both thought it was a good idea for us to have a (sorta) double date. Following that, all four of us became really close friends. We started having monthly hangouts, that led to weekly hangouts.

Not-so First Kiss

Backtracking just a little bit. I believe it was in March. I was supposed to go to a party (yes, another one. woohoo party girl!). But that turned out to be a fail. I didn't want to go home disappointed. Instead, I reached out to Darwin and asked if he wanted to chill. Just my luck, he was free. We ended up spending hours at a park, near his house, talking just about everything. That was the first time we hung out alone. With it still being winter at the time, it got dark really early. When it was dark, and not a soul could see us, we shared our first kiss.Wait. Hold on. You guys kissed? Isn't he still in a relationship with the other girl? Yes. You guys read that right. We kissed behind his girlfriend's back. But before you judge, let me try to justify everything.

Not a lot of people know Darwin as well as I do. He is an extremely nice person, maybe a little too nice for his own sake. To clarify, Darwin did not have feelings for that girl for a while already and hadn't seen her in a while either. The reason I bring up the fact that he is too nice is because he wasn't the type of person to break up with someone. Darwin had previous girlfriends in the past and they all left him, never the other way around. What I interpret from it is that, he felt the misery of being deserted and didn't want to pass that on to somebody else.

Getting back to the story. After that kiss, we were even closer than ever. He found every possible way to spend more time with me. This guy would give up precious sleep time just to get to the bus stop and catch the same bus as me every morning. Then, every afternoon post-school, meeting me at the infamous Bayview & Steeles. We would be together almost everyday. Wherever I was, Darwin was. Wherever Darwin was, there I was.

This continued on until the end of May. We both had strong feelings for each other and we didn't want to keep it exclusive anymore. The two of us were sick of hiding our affection from the public. That was when the impossible happened. Darwin, the too-nice-for-his-own-good Darwin, stepped out of his shell and finally told the other girl that he could no longer be with her. After that, it was a whole new world. Darwin & I could finally hold hands, kiss, and do whatever normal couples do, in public. And we didn't care who saw us.

A few days later.. June 9, 2011, to be exact, he finally asked me the question. The question that I had been dying to hear for 5 long months. "Nicole, do you want to make it official? Will you be my girlfriend?"

2012

It's been 5 years since we first met. It feels good to think back and realize all the trials and tribulations that we've gotten through. After June 9, 2011, it wasn't a happily ever after, like in the fairytale books. Darwin and I without question hit many snags along the way to get where we are now. But looking at it from here, I'm proud to say we managed to live through them without losing ourselves and each other. However, our story isn't over yet. He and I will still have to go through a great deal of life's unpleasantries. But to me, it won't matter. As long as I'm experiencing it with the right person, I'm happy.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

My pride and joy. My angel. My baby. (And every other cute name that ever existed.) Born on March 23, 2013 at 8:50 am. Weighing in at 7.2 lbs. Here she is: the most beautiful, funniest, smartest, craziest little girl I know - Kayla Rose Merza-Buado.

I attempted to catch up with little Kayla in hopes that she would make time for me out of her busy schedule and allow me to interview her. Luckily, she did let me ask her a few questions (a limit of 10), which I am now happily sharing with all my readers.

These are all real answers conveyed by, the one and only, Kayla Rose Merza-Buado.What is your name?I'm name Rose Buado.How old are you?I'm older is... I want to watch Thomas.What colour is your hair?Pink.What colour are your eyes?Purple.What is your favourite movie/show?Name is Rose Merza.

Post-Interview (January 2016)

What is your favourite season? Why?Fall.. Hey, hey welcome the dream house.What is your favourite toy?*gasps* Kitchen!.... Kitchen mommy, kitchen!Do you know how to cook? If so what is the one food you love to cook?Yes. Egg first.What is your favourite thing to eat?Rice.What do you do on the weekends?*evil laugh* *fart noises*This was a bonus question that she allowed me to ask.Do you like mommy or daddy better?I love edibody (everybody).

And just like that, our time was up.

It amazes me when I compare the two pictures in this post. She was so tiny and now she's a smart & growing girl. Before I realize it, she'll be going off to school, then in her teen years. Kayla never seizes to amaze me each and every day.

My goal is to always be there for her during the laughs and tears. To enjoy everything that life throws our way and never take anything for granted. Time really does go by too fast. Appreciate every second before it's gone. I was blessed to be given this angel, it would be a shame to ignore any of our precious moments. All I really want to spend the rest of my life doing is putting and keeping the smile on this girl's face. After all, she's always done the same to me.. I just want to return the favour.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Though I guess I'm technically not a teen mom anymore (since I'm out of the "-teen" ages), I was one when I gave birth to this little one. And, of course, what most people want to know about teen mothers is...everything. So, here it is folks. Everything.

Where to start, where to start..
As per every mother out there (at least I hope), it always starts off with that one guy. The one guy that you're head over heels about. The one guy that you're madly in love with. The one guy that every time he does that smile, you catch yourself unintentionally screaming in your head "have my damn babies!" (Disclaimer: Any family members reading this, forget that last sentence.) Well, that guy of mine, his name's Darwin. And he must have superhero powers or something because he heard those voices in my head loud and clear, the fact that obviously as we can now see, I did have his baby. But just as unintentional as those voices in my head, so was the pregnancy.

I didn't find out that I was pregnant until the middle of August and by then I was already more or less than 1 month deep. You may be wondering, didn't you miss your period? Of course I did, but I didn't automatically assume I was pregnant because I did have irregular periods. Sometimes I would go up to 4 months without getting my period. But anyways.. The point that pushed me to take a pregnancy test was when I started throwing up for no reason. I had little to no pregnancy symptoms. The only other time I could think of was when I went to Florida a few weeks before I took the test. I had been on a boat out in the Gulf of Mexico. I was feeling completely fine until I stepped off. The feeling of dizziness and nausea overcame me. But I thought it to be just sea sickness. Again, back to the test.. So there I am, in the washroom, about to urinate on this stick.

There it is. Right in my face. Two blue lines. At this point, I'm still alone in the bathroom staring at this stick. I blink once, twice, three times. Squint my eyes. Am I seeing this right? I catch myself smiling. I really don't know why, maybe out of shock. So I call Darwin into the bathroom and he walks in with a smile, expecting it to come out negative. I show him the test. No more smiles from then on. You all know what was going through our heads at that exact moment: "f*ck".

He just graduated and I was about to start school in the next month. On top of that, we both had gotten our firsts jobs that year, which kept our lives occupied. Being the irresponsible teens we were, we put it off. We told no one, did nothing about it. That was until my belly began getting noticeably bigger. My clothes weren't fitting the way they were supposed to anymore and I started wearing bigger and baggier clothes. At that moment, we agreed to finally do something about the pregnancy. I went to my family doctor and he confirmed that I was indeed pregnant (as if it wasn't already obvious). He asked me if I decided to keep the baby or if I wanted to go the "other route".

Darwin and I, at that time, opted for the "other route". I don't want to get into too much detail about that, but long story short: Darwin and I had to gather up as much money as we could just to go into that awful clinic and be shut down because I was too far along into my pregnancy. We both cried out of fear and hopelessness. But little did we know was that that unfortunate event was actually a blessing in disguise for us.

My Baby Shower (March 2013)

By then, it was already November. I managed to keep my pregnancy a secret for 4 long months. Other than my friends who knew (hey Jen, Ang, Iesha, Maria, Jaz, if you're reading this!), nobody else knew. The only thing that was keeping me from telling my parents about it was the fear of not being accepted. But after the miserable incident that just passed, we decided we finally had to tell both our parents about it because I was going to birth this baby no matter what. Naturally, we got the reaction of disappointment but, in addition to that, we surprisingly got the response of happiness, a sense of care, and, most importantly, acceptance.

The support I received from family and friends was an amazing feeling that I will be forever grateful for. My pregnancy that was once full of fear and anxiety was now filled with joy and relief. I thought I had known happiness until the day after my 19th birthday. March 23, 2013: the day my baby girl was born.

Taking a step back and looking at everything that has happened over the past years, Darwin and I always like to think of our story as God's Plan for us. We grew, learned, and became better, stronger people because of this.

It's a new year to make new memories, set and achieve new (or old) goals, and.. Well, just enjoy living. To ring in the year twenty sixteen, I wanted to start this. A way of sharing my life with family, friends, and strangers (who may possibly in the future come to be friends.)

So, here it is. A curation of little aspects in my existence. Journey with me through my take on life. A place where I can disclose my days and thoughts about anything and everything.

Anticipate to find:
Big or small occurrences in my life - struggles, tears, laughs, smiles.
The life of a young (though I am turning 21 this year) mom.
Memories that are so special that they deserve to be resurfaced.
Rants - that may or may not be deleted in the near future.
Humble hauls and opinions of things that I buy off the internet (very ?bad? habit of mine)
.. And probably a lot more that I can't think of off the top of my head.

For anyone who cares to ride along with me, thanks for reading.

Enjoy.

__________________________

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." - Lao Tau