About a week ago, I noticed a small bump, smaller than the size of a pea, on Liberty's ear. I asked Rob (an experienced vet tech) to look at it, he attempted to express it and got only clear fluid. We've been keeping an eye on it, and this week it's definitely larger, now bigger than a chick pea. So she went to the vet today - a new one we hadn't been too before but who was highly recommended to me by some coworkers.

Well, the vet and techs were all completely enamored of Miss Liberty Sue. They watched her flirt like a fiend with my coworkers shih tzu (who also happened to have an appointment, but sheer coincidence) while he tried to growl and snarl at her. They let her play with the office chihuahua (but wouldn't let the shih tzu play with him - that dog was too mean!) and they all fed her treats and praised her for being so sweet and well behaved. I kept insisting she was really a gremlin, but she was a little nervous so seemed extra calm and demure.

The vet did a blood draw and a needle aspiration (with a needle the size of a mechanical pencil, it looked like!) and she didn't flinch for either and the vet said he wished all his patients were like her.

Results were inconclusive at best. The look, feel, shape, and growth of the lump were all suspicious. What he got on the slides were all white blood cells (ie, infection, not cancer). He said several times if he hadn't run the test himself he would have assumed there was a slide mix-up, because the slide was so very different from what her symptoms normally predict. Because of that, and because of the pit bull tendency towards mast cell cancers, we've got a surgery scheduled for December 22, to the tune of $650 - $700. I'm terrified. I don't think I'm even scared that it's cancer - I already told the vet to just take her freaking ear off if it was even a question. But the thought of leaving her there to get put under anesthesia makes me want to vomit and I've cried at least six times about it today. It's wiping out my savings account completely, and likely putting on hold my moving/house-shopping, because not having anything at all in savings is not all that comfortable. I don't mind any of that, just to keep her around. But when she was spayed, they told me she had a really difficult time, and they kept her in the hospital almost five days after the fact. We had that hospital fax those records over so we could see if it was anesthesia related, to prepare ourselves, and they have no notes on that at all. Which makes me want to go and shake them, because what the hell? Why would they tell me that if they didn't have those issues? And why don't they have any notes on it? I would have been a nervous wreck anyway, but now there's an extra question in there and I'm just plain scared.

Please keep my little gremlin in your thoughts and prayers. I really wanted all the pain in her life to be over and have nothing but silliness and fun once she came to me.

Oh goodness. I'll be thinking of you guys! Can you use Care Credit to help keep a buffer in your savings? What about PBRC? You're a shelter worker devoted to saving lives - I have to imagine they'd want to help.

Continuing good thoughts for Liberty! I completely understand the fear of putting an animal under who has had difficulty in the past - just had to do that with one of my cats who almost died while being spayed. They thankfully had notes though and used a different inducing drug and she was fine but they also monitored her extra closely.

AmberD wrote:Oh goodness. I'll be thinking of you guys! Can you use Care Credit to help keep a buffer in your savings? What about PBRC? You're a shelter worker devoted to saving lives - I have to imagine they'd want to help.

None of the vets I'm looking at in this area accept Care Credit. I've applied with PBRC, and am waiting for a response. I'll be calling around area vets in the next couple of days seeing if they'll give me an estimate. The vet where Rob works would likely be cheaper, and has the benefit of Rob being there with her the whole time. He loves her nearly as much as I do, and I know everything would be done perfectly if he's with her on the table. It would be stressful and traumatic for him, but he's willing and able to do it. I really hate his vet, though, for several non-medical reasons. I liked the vet we saw quite a lot, and trust them based on referrals, but if they're more expensive by a couple hundred... There's a few other places to look at, too.

Thanks for all the prayers. The dork is of course acting perfectly normal (for her), and enjoying her twice-daily peanut-butter-wrapped antibiotics to see if it really is just an infection that will go down with time and render surgery unnecessary.

Yup, could have been any number of things, and though they kept her in the hospital for five full days, there is no mention of a difficulty in her file. I kept telling Rob I thought the reasons I didn't like the clinic was that they were very cold in their treatment of me as her (then) foster parent because they assumed one of the techs there would get her. Now I see they're just idiots.

Her bloodwork came back from the lab yesterday and Rob talked me through everything - the signs of malignancy are NOT there in her blood, and in every other way she is perfect. So maybe there were issues before that her great diet (minus the coffee and crackers she breaks into now and then) have solved, maybe there's something to worry about her blood won't show, or maybe they just lied. Who knows?

I just asked Rob to trim her nails while I took a shower. She freaked out on him as soon as I left the room. She hates getting her nails done, but she's crazy about him. Sometimes I forget how much she's been through and how much she associates me with being safe. She got scared as soon as I left, and now I'm dying at the thought of leaving her at a vet, even if Rob is there, and making her feel that scared again. I'm safety to her, and I can't make her feel safe about surgery.