There has been some obvious interest in having me share my heart attack experiences and I have had 5. I am going too try to describe it from my own perspective, as I experienced it. None of them have been as dramatic the seen on TV, where the person suddenly grabs at their chest, maybe gasps once or twice and collapses unconscious to the ground. I am sure some may have had that experience, it is just I have not. Symptoms can vary widely and there is even a huge difference between what is generally experienced by a male or a female. I have to wonder how many know that. Well it is true.
Yesterday, I decided before I start describing my experiences and symptoms, it might be wise to visit a medical site, copy and post their descriptions of and the symptoms of a heart attack. Their general description may be more informative than my personal/individuals description. I copied the info from the Mayo Clinic and actually had a post up yesterday for a short while with that information. I am not even sure why I checked it. I just put up my posts as they are and that is it. I am glad I did though as some how with the copying and pasting it got all garbled and I deleted that post.
From Mayo Clinic web site, can not seem to get the link to work for the direct connection.

Typical heart attack symptoms

Symptom

Description

Chest discomfort or pain

This discomfort or pain can feel like a tight ache, pressure, fullness or squeezing in the center of your chest lasting more than a few minutes. This discomfort may come and go.

Upper body pain

Pain or discomfort may spread beyond your chest to your shoulders, arms, back, neck, teeth or jaw. You may have upper body pain with no chest discomfort.

Stomach pain

Pain may extend downward into your abdominal area and may feel like heartburn.

Shortness of breath

You may pant for breath or try to take in deep breaths. This often occurs before you develop chest discomfort or you may not experience any chest discomfort.

Anxiety

You may feel a sense of doom or feel as if you’re having a panic attack for no apparent reason.

Lightheadedness

In addition to chest pressure, you may feel dizzy or feel like you might pass out.

Sweating

You may suddenly break into a sweat with cold, clammy skin.

Nausea and vomiting

You may feel sick to your stomach or vomit.

Most heart attacks begin with subtle symptoms — with only discomfort that often is not described as pain. The chest discomfort may come and go. Don’t be tempted to downplay your symptoms or brush them off as indigestion or anxiety.

Don’t “tough out” heart attack symptoms for more than five minutes. Call 911 or other emergency medical services for help. If you don’t have access to emergency medical services, have someone drive you to the nearest hospital. Drive yourself only as a last resort, if there are absolutely no other options.

Heart attack symptoms vary widely. For instance, you may have only minor chest discomfort while someone else has excruciating pain. One thing applies to everyone, though: If you suspect you’re having a heart attack, call for emergency medical help immediately.

Additional heart attack symptoms in women

Women may have all, none, many or a few of the typical heart attack symptoms. For women, the most common heart attack symptom is still some type of pain, pressure or discomfort in the chest. But women are more likely than are men to also have heart attack symptoms without chest pain, such as:
Neck, jaw, shoulder, upper back or abdominal discomfort
Shortness of breath
Nausea or vomiting
Abdominal pain or “heartburn”
Sweating
Lightheadedness or dizziness
Unusual or unexplained fatigue

Completed the second go round of heart test. Now it is more waiting for the doctors to review the results. Because of the up coming long week end it could take a few extra days.

Generally heart tests aren’t that difficult for the patient. Mostly you just lay there while they take pictures or get images via cat scan, ultra sound, there is a variety of ways.

It really is amazing the technology and variety of different medications they have today. They even have a medication that can “trick” your heart into thinking you are exercising or working hard. Even though you are just sitting there your heart begins to react as if you really were, in this case walking on a treadmill.
I have avoided talking about specific or technical medical issues as what I would write would be based only on my personal understanding. As I have said many times I am not a doctor and my personal understanding may in fact not be right on. I just wouldn’t want to mislead. I have had 5 heart attacks but have never described what is like to experience a heart attack. I do know that symptoms, signs of a heart attack can vary. I just wouldn’t want anyone to possibly base a decision on where or not to seek medical attention because of the way I may describe my own. I mean sort of like: “this can’t be a heart attack because it isn’t like Bill described a heart attack.”
More tomorrow. A special thank you to all that have left the messages of support.

I have been awaiting today with both a little eager anticipation and well a little nervousness.

This afternoon I am off to the hospital for a two part test that I am told will determine a lot for the approach to on going medical treatment. Tests today and tomorrow, then wait for the doctor’s decision.

I have come to realize that patience is one of the life lessons I do need to work on. If I have some thing hanging over my head, I don’t like it. Instead of waiting not knowing, I would rather just face it head on, right now

I am God’ messenger. Wow, now isn’t that quite the statement, geesh, to say that I must really think I am someone special. Well, I most definitely am not. I am just a regular guy, an old goat sitting at his computer. I am no different, no more special than anyone else on this planet. So how could I dare to be so bold as to even imagine such a thing. I know many will be thinking (poor Bill has either flipped his lid or that brain tumour is affecting him) and hey, either is possible.
I believe that when we come into this world, we come with specific missions to accomplish. Now with our free will our lives may take all sorts of zigs, zags and detours as we travel down the highway of life. However, irregardless of any thing life will guide us to a specific spot at a specific time where we can accomplish that mission. At the time we won’t even realize it. It could be something big or it could be something small. We can’t ever really know how any of our actions can affect an other. As obviously I struggle to understand the effect of my words.
I think credit must be given where it is due. When ever I sit down to write anything, I do try my best to remember to pray. The prayer is the same each time, a part of which is: “Please guide my thoughts and my fingers to type a post that may help someone, anyone that may read this. Then I just start my ramble and up go thoughts as they come to my mind.
I deeply believe in the power of prayer are my prayers being answered as I ask for guidance in finding the words to help someone, anyone?
What I do know is there have been many times when I have sat down to post with a general idea in my head as to what I would be writing about, even going so far as to give the post a title. I then have said my little prayer and just start typing. Often I have reached the end and realized my thoughts had changed/strayed to the point that the title I had given the post when starting in no way came close to describing the content. I don’t even title the post any more until I see what I have written. Occasionally I forget that and a post goes up untitled, not that it makes any difference.
I have more to say but have tired myself out. Back some where at the beginning of the blog I am sure I must have posted of how I was guided to even start the blog Will try to get into that another day
There fore do I at times believe I am a messenger from God? Yes, I do but no more than I believe is each and every other person in this world

For more than a week now I have been seeking the words with which to respond to the so loving and wonderfully supportive comments left for me. A Question had been posted asking if I felt the blog was actually making a difference or was it in fact more like reading a book. Each post representing a chapter in the book. It is read, put down and life goes on as normal. I really had never given that any thought. Now I most certainly can’t say I fretted or stewed about it but I did give it thought as I do each and every comment posted.

I have come to a realization within myself. At some level within me I am more aware of what I am gaining through all of this. As I am sitting here a thought hit me. I am not sure when it was quite some time back a comment was posted asking what sort of scam I am running here. I just have to laugh. By my definition of a scam I should be gaining in some way be it financially or materially and in that way I have gained nothing, want nothing and am looking for nothing.
That though is not to say I have not gained tremendously as that I have. I have gained through the friendships and all the loving support I have found here. In my mind I am way ahead of the game. Those comments are but an example of the kindness and loving support I have received. I am so humbled by what I read.
Each is so supportive but is also touching and heart warming and deserving of a lengthy personal response. I just can’t seem to find the words that come any where close to expressing the feelings with in my heart. I have tried but each time found myself like going in a circle saying thank you in different ways just using different words to say the same thing. Sort of in the same way I am starting to do here.
For each comment I am going to reply with a simple thank you but please do know that those simple words don’t even begin to express my feelings

Who am I?

I am a 61 year old male. At the age of 52 I was told by my doctor I am dying. For the past 4 years, I have done my best to deal with both congestive heart failure and a brain tumor, while knowing my days are indeed numbered. It is my hope that by sharing my experiences, I can encourage others faced with the same situation. I hope to also help the families of those individuals to have an understanding of the process and deal with the fear or dread of being around the dying.
I am not a doctor, not a man of the clergy, I am not a therapist. I am just me, Bill Howdle, I am merely sharing my thoughts and ideas. I write of death and dying, understand this is my personal prospective, based on what I am encountering.