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summer rain

We woke up to darkening skies and imminent thunderstorms this morning. After all the warm, sunny weather, a day of rain should have felt like a nice change (it's certainly good for the garden), but instead it made me a little sad. For one thing, we missed the last day of swimming lessons. We probably could have made it since the thunder stopped in plenty of time, but when it's already cool and drippy outside, that kind of sucks the joy out of being in the pool. We stayed longer at a playdate instead, so the morning wasn't a total loss. Still, we've been at swimming lessons nearly every day for the last six weeks, and I'm really going to miss that routine the kids and I have set for ourselves - setting up the bike trailer, changing into swimming clothes, packing a lunch, biking to the pool, seeing the excitement on their faces when they spot their teachers, then 15-20 minutes of lap swimming for me, and afterwards playing in the wading pool before a quick shower and picnic lunch. We come home pleasantly tired and ready for a little rest before the remainder of the afternoon.

It's a little more than just a missed day at the pool, though. Something about the cool, wet weather has filled me with melancholy, like a vague sense of homesickness, but I'm not sure for what. For time passing too quickly, perhaps, or for things that aren't over yet, because I know I'll miss them. Summer isn't over, but it's passing by much too fast. And my kids are still so little and sweet. Yes, they frustrate me, and I catch myself thinking several times a day "I can't WAIT until they're older because..." but we've had a lot of good moments lately, too. The other day on a walk, Daniel said to me, "You know, I won't be your little boy forever" and I replied, "I know, and that's a good thing, but I'll miss it, too." And he said "Why?" and I couldn't really answer him.

I'm a little homesick for my family today, too. My little brother turns 30 today (Happy Birthday, Joe!!) and he just moved into a new apartment with his girlfriend, and my parents were there to help, and of course I couldn't be there. It's just too far to travel. (I'm not done making his birthday present yet, either - Joe, you'll get it soon, I promise - but the kids sent him a little something that will hopefully arrive today.)