Category: hopelessness

A conversation came up today about a woman that invented a self cleaning house. Her name was Frances Gabe, and she was a person that didn’t fit with the status quo.

She didn’t just design the house, she patented it, and 68 devices within the house were patented as well.

Most ideas get lost, as patenting is neither cheap or simple, marketing ideas is challenging because it’s all about getting people to part with hard earned money. Development never happens for the sake of it outside people’s garages or homes.

How many diseases cured, how many social problems, inventions, even just life simplifiers that would take some of the stress and anxiety away, haven’t happened due to lack of education to that person working minimum wage or manual labor in a developing nation with the right potential?

They may dream big, or not. Walking around day to day completely unaware that if given the right opportunity, they could help society move that tiny bit forward.

How many house wives, have ideas every day, even on a smaller scale like Frances did?

There’s a little toy wheelbarrow thong that you roll around and it picks up blocks. It’s just a matter of time someone combines it with a roomba and makes it able to pick up toys, clothes and dirt and holds it in a hopper for easy sorting, instead of bending over hundreds of times a day.

If I was smart, rich and had time I’d invent and build such a thing.

But, I’m in the majority. So because I hate bending over all day, and figure it’s a huge waste of spine and maybe I’m lazy, I sweep it in a pile and sort it in one spot once a day.

The industrial revolution and consumerism got us pretty far in advancements, but it’s all stalling now. Politicians are doing everything they can to help the rich squeeze the last bit out of a failing market that it becoming increasingly automated.

People are aware that job security is scarce, and mist, feel unfulfilled and lost in it all.

There needs to be an immediate fundamental shift in society if we wish to move forward, money, wealth need to become a thing of the past.

Reconnection to community, via use of skills, ideas and potential, acceptance of the eccentric for what they truly offer, opportunity to develop ideas and test them, develop them more. Just for the sake of it.

Give humanity the chance to flourish and see that individuals if they so choose a chance to explore their full potential.

How many brilliant minds have you met in your life, wasted via addiction and diseases of despair, just because they had so much to offer, but just weren’t shiny, cool, rich or connected enough?

I know at least six off the top of my head. Maybe more if I think for a while. It’s sad…

How many more before society sees value in doing fulfilling things for the sake of personal growth, curiosity, simplicity, or to help others?

This is my wish for today.

To see a fundamental shift in social values, and to negate the need for money as we know it.

Oh the outrage.
People are outraged over things. Lots of things everywhere. Outrage is what’s in. Rage is in. Inrage.

There are outraged because a t-shirt could be misconstrued that is promoted by a walking dead star.

People are outraged and have created a movement against one particular group that has been doing bad things, but lumping everyone else they don’t agree with into that group, and displaying the same hateful tactics.

People are outraged over mislabeled fish, and chemical stuff and their neighbors dog.

People are outraged for other people who dgaf about the thing that is outrageous.

I’m jumping on the bandwagon.

I’m outraged at hospitals sending home sick babies to take chances with death and forcing parents to give the level of care a fully trained rn does with no training and no help.

I’m outraged that society keeps kicking it’s vulnerable down in order to keep the next in line afloat in order to keep certain other people living in the lap of luxury.

I’m outraged that the food industry throws away billions of dollars of food away per year because it isn’t saleable and the poverty level is so high. Here and everywhere.

I’m outraged that there is a cure for some cancers that is not licensed meaning nobody owns a patent to it and because big pharmacy can’t make billions and corner the market, people are suffering and dying.

I’m outraged for all of the people in my life that are suffering from anxiety and depression because we live in a sick society that has a very uncertain fiscal and technological future. A society that has marginalized all things not fitting that system that is failing. A society that despises age and reminders of death, and puts sparkles on the trials of parent hood.

I’m outraged at being lied to day in and day out just to sell me crap that will last just past the warranty that I didn’t need on the first place, so I can throw it into our overflowing landfills.

I’m outraged that I get more solid information from comedians than from the news. — that said I’m outraged that I have to agree with Trump.

I’m outraged because Americans are so desperate for security from the above unknowingly, have elected someone like trump because they don’t know what else to do.

We Canadians did it too. And we paid the price for it. So did our environment.

I’m outraged that what we keep asking for isn’t being done and our leaders are shirking their duties. For the sake of the next term promise.

I’m sick of entitlement. People that believe they are entitled to exorbitant wealth, objects, rights, other people’s decisions, access to other people’s bodies, freedom, life, or liberty.

We aren’t entitled. But we are sharing this space, and seem to be pissing it up a wall between America and Mexico. Have have a very uncertain future, and we as a global community have to take a step back and address what’s actually happening. We need to make provisions for what is already changing and prepare for what is most likely certain.

If your Messiah were to stand before you, would you recognise that person?

If your Messiah said to you, I am the way, would you persecute your Messiah for blasphemy?

If your Messiah was helping a person that you didn’t like, would you shun your Messiah? Would you pass by and arrogantly huff under your breath?

If your Messiah knocked on your door and asked for your help, your compassion, and your empathy, would you slam the door?

Don’t lie, because your God knows what’s in your heart.

If your God sent you someone to tell you what you need to know to move towards a heaven on earth would you give up your comfort to follow?

Would your messiah be pleased that you contributed to detroying the Earth that we are supposed to build the kingdom heaven on?

Would your Messiah be pleased that countless people have been left to starve, yet we have everything needed to ensure the health, wellbeing and safety of all people, everywhere?

What if…

In each generation was born one Messiah, and one supergenius. And in each generation we shut them down because they don’t fit in to our Ego generated social construct?

Tesla was a pinnacle of brilliance and by the time he died, he was destroyed. What if he had been given the respect and wellbeing that he deserved? What else could have brought to the world?

How many Teslas have been hiding behind closed doors knowing that if they speak up, that they will be shunned and emotionally damaged beyond repair?

Is your messiah looking at you through your mirror in the morning, and wondering when you will stop and listen to your heart, and not your ego, listen to your soul and not your fear?

Is your messiah now yelling at you, telling you that you don’t need armaggedon for salvation, that to make a heaven on earth, the key is to release your fear, to give away your ego, and to live in harmony with nature and all beings?

Is your messiah telling you daily that your selfishness and overconsumption is the root of your pain and emptiness inside?

I’ve taken a lot of risks in my life… Some worked out for the better, and some for the worse.

For example, I ran away from home as a teen, to get away from my toxic abusive step father. I didn’t know where I was going to go, or what I was going to do, but I knew that my survival, and my freedom counted on leaving. Survival may have been more emotional and psychological, but freedom was a whole other ball of wax. I was at a point where I was actively considering assault, and I don’t know if I would have been able to stop once I started hurting him.

So, I took a bag with a pen, I.D., a writing pad, an extra set of clothes and walked out the door with the intent to never return. I trembled for the hours, not knowing what I would do, walking around and looking for answers.

There were none. I ended up hitchhiking and living on the streets and couch surfing for over a year. I slept in burned out building and held company with people ranging from drug dealers and hookers to sociopaths and random weirdos. Life was hard, and for some reason, living on the streets does some strange things to your head.

What I will give street life though, is that it’s simple. Wake up in the morning and survive. That’s it.

But back to risk taking. I’ve gone completely the other direction and many years after I got off of the streets, I had an opportunity to attempt to become a professional artist. I saved up three months worth of rent, food, and money for bills, and quit my shitty job, to see if I could hack it.

I treated my art like my job and worked ten to twelve hours a day, and in the first three months pulled in $10,000 for my troubles. I didn’t work shows, there was no commission work, I just made what I wanted, and people either bought it or didn’t, and either way it was cool.

I got pulled into the scene, and honestly, it didn’t seem to do me any good in regards to exposure or making money. I started doing commissions, and having deadlines and outside influences disrupting my flow, and eventually it reached a point where I wasn’t making any money and had to go back to work. (Unfortunately it’s taken almost a decade for me to realize what went wrong)

My jobs since then have been incredibly high pressure, stressful, chaotic, and generally have destroyed my ability to think clearly let alone have creative or critical thought. But, you do what you have to do to survive.

My spouse wants me to get back into I.T. and the thought actually makes me want to put a bullet into my head. It is a worse dead end job than being in retail or a barista. It burns me out in a way that I literally have no gumption to live. Which is the last thing I need right now.

But after boring you with little tidbits of my back story, I’m confident that you may be able to understand where I’m sitting in regards to my current predicament.

So, in July of 2014 I took on a job to try to turn around a little company that was failing, and was told at the beginning that if I couldn’t turn it around, that it was going to get shut down. At that point, I had no work, and it was a challenge.. so, I threw my hat over the fence.

There were two employees, that were working there and putting in time at the sister company when things were slow. One employee was a programmer, and the gig didn’t fit his aptitude. So within a week of me getting hired, he left to go back to something more suitable to his strengths.

Then my Grandmother who had an aggressive type of ovarian cancer took a turn for the worse. The other employee was a troublemaker and had angered almost everyone he had worked with in the sister company, and was unwelcome, so he was losing hours. Then he decided that when he was working with me he was going to get aggressive and pushy, with no skills or knowledge to back him up.

All the while I’m working in the office and on the field with no training and a little bully that didn’t like to work, and my grandmother was dying, bringing along with it, all the usual family stuff. By the end of August, she was dead, and I had brought in money that was outstanding for the company, and things were starting to look better.

September 12th, my little bully got let go. Now regardless of his attitude, I needed more than just me to work a company (it’s in the construction end of things) and so I’m in the office and on the field and borrowing staff from our sister company.

By October, our sister company was so busy I couldn’t borrow anyone, and I was getting borrowed. To the extent of working six days a week, and still trying to juggle the little company that I was trying to save, with no help, no training, no resources, and now no time.

I barely remember Christmas, but really we didn’t do anything for the holidays because everyone was so emotionally and physically spent that it would have just been a burden. Back to work we went, and I had to keep working for the sister company. With no help on the other one, even though there were big job offers and opportunities happening.

I failed. And as of Thursday of last week, I was told that my little failure was going to get shut down. That being said, the hardest part of it all, is that I’m over 15 weeks pregnant with twins. And if I lose my job, I don’t get maternity leave… with twins.

I’m upset, stressed out, and at a loss as to what to do anymore. Nobody hires pregnant women, and I have to consider welfare. With twins on the way.

I took a gamble and lost, and there are some poor innocent souls that are going to pay the consequences of my stupid wish to try to make something more of my life than just working a nine to fiver.

I’m tired of the stress, I’m tired of nothing working right, no stability and no option to get out. I’m fed up with people that don’t take responsibility for their actions and everything else that goes with it. I usually can think my way out of predicaments, but I’m burnt out and have nothing left to give.

I just want a job where I walk in do what I’m supposed to do and walk out at the end of the day. No extra projects, no glory, no respect, just work. I haven’t done any of my hobbies or done anything I consider a pleasure or had a mental break in over a year from my life, and now I’m suffering all around for it.

I want to come home and have the energy to make stuff, enjoy cooking, do a little dance in my shower before I get too big to do it safely. I want to have the time to actually think about and be excited about becoming a parent. I want less stress, not more. Because things are already upside down backwards sideways.

I can’t do construction for the duration of my pregnancy, as it’s really uncomfortable already. I just want to work in an office filing stuff, and maybe answering phones etc. But, who would be willing to take me on, and wasting money training me for their particular system, to lose me by late August?

I wish I had some sort of wisdom gained from all of this, other than when you take risks, sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t. And when you fail, it hurts.

And when it comes to being a “strong person” people are there to listen to you, but will most likely never have answers to your crazy predicaments.

I’m going to touch on a very sensitive issue today, and at the risk of angering many people, and possibly getting put on a list somewhere, this is something that I feel that I need to say. I will try to be a gentle as possible, but as the subject illicits a lot of emotions, it’s bound to upset, but I wont apologise because it’s the truth.

First of all, I’m going to put it out there. I’m not only at a minimum agnostic, leaning towards atheism, but I am also guilty of apostasy. I’ve renounced my baptism and confimation in any and all houses of worship.

It isn’t faith that I have a problem with. What I have a problem with is the corrupt and twisted ideals spawned by religious institutions that has turned faith into socio political tools that are abused, and abuse the innocent peoples of the world, selling hope for just a piece of ones financial wealth, and long term wellbeing. And the fallout is becoming ever more costly to humanity at large.

Faith in and of itself is a deeply personal thing, and I support and respect any person that has faith in something greater than them, providing that faith doesn’t lead that person to cause harm to other beings.

We are currently in a situation in the world where there is a massive conflict of ignorance, both willful and forced, using the many names of a higher power. But what most people on all three sides of the conflict are ignorant of, is that they are all the same religion, but all have different interpretations of the original script (see Torah or Old Testament), the middle script (see New Testament) and the final script (see Quran).

As you read this you may be asking what I’m talking about.

The three largest religions of the world and all of their subsequent denominations are the same religion, same god, same basic values, and oddly enough the same amount of violent zeal. And all are inspired originally by: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoroastrianism

Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all the same, and most people follow as the religion of their repective geographic region practises as a general rule.

All values are the same, and although most followers around the world are moderate, there are unfortunately people that follow paths that are not only extreme, but also completely contrary to the values and morals laid out in the texts before them.

TL;DR

Dear humans: Be good to each other. If you have faith, then treat all land and all living things as Holy, as they were made by your god. Period.

You are all supposed to turn the other cheek, and are forbidden to compell or coerce other people into your religion. Period.

You are to love, and express faith through charity, and compassion regardless of another person’s differences. Period.

It’s all the same god folks, and you are killing each other which is forbidden. You are killing innocents which is also forbidden. Period.

Anything outside of this, is a lie to lead you away from your definition of heaven.