Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux

Washington DC (GlossyNews) — On Friday, in a late business wrap up, the US Congress gave back the state of South Dakota to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Reports have surfaced that an obscure bill, which was suppose to cede a 100 acre parcel of land in South Dakota back to the Oglala Sioux, had a small typographic error in the official copy which, accidentally, ceded the entire state of South Dakota back to the Oglala Sioux.

President Obama signed the measure into law without reading it late on Friday and on Saturday morning, the Oglala Sioux began the process of taking over a number of Uranium mines and oil fields. A group of South Dakota Republican state legislators stated that the acts were illegal and the law obviously a mistake. However, federal lawmakers are now into a two-week recess and are not available to set the motion right.

When asked if he could rescind his signature, President Obama replied, “It isn’t my place to redo the work of congress. If congress has decided to give South Dakota back to the Indians, well, I support that. My signature stands.”

Tribal leaders stress that the law ‘makes sense’ and ‘sets the record right’. They are encouraging non violent take overs of white businesses and properties before congress has a chance to change the laws.

“Possession is 9 tenths of the law, mother fuckers!” yelled a young Indian as we walked past.

The author of the bill in question – Representative Tom Chase (D-SD) said, “Well, I was trying to help some Sioux out by getting them a piece of their land back, I guess we just helped ALL of them instead.”

South Dakota governor M Michael Rounds reportedly said in a press conference Sunday morning that, “We all know this is a mistake. If necessary I will order out the National Guard to keep the unlawful seizure of property to a minimum.”

A spokesman for the Oglala Tribe remarks of Rounds, “Who is he? I think he might be a little out of his jurisdiction now. Technically, now the Chief of the Oglala Sioux Nation is governor of South Dakota.”

In related news, gas prices at a newly tribalized Texaco gas station near the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation have dropped to 25 cents a gallon for regular unleaded. Which is good news for the folks waiting in line at the Ford dealership in Sturgis. Tribal leaders say cars will go on sale there for $300.00 each on Thursday.

For followup on this incredible story, check out our sister site for their in-depth coverage.

The acts of the Congress are only for interstate access and to facilitate trade between American Indians and the states. Constitutionally, this violates the 10th amendment.

Regardless of whether or not it is a violation of the Constitution of these United States of America, the State will need to take it to court to show that the law the Federal Congress passed is unconstitutional.

Lets not forget Taneal that the treaties were law with presidential
signatures-and they “took” them back. As much as this should be the
way of it-if it’s true does anybody really believe it will stand?
I surely don’t looking at the five hundred plus years of history.
The state has to take it to court? I doubt it-all that will be
required is yet another bill to replace it-or some sort of amendment.
Obama has been vetted and found acceptable prior to the nomination
and election-that means he’s a team player-look at the health care bill
and the escalation in troops-look too that there are more lobbyists in Washington since this administration took over than any previous time in history, then tell me he’s The One.

Sad world. I’m a torn American. My great-grandmother was half cherokee. I carry both the blood of those who invaded our land’s and destroyed our nations and the blood of those whose land was stolen. I’ve found a wicked pride in the power of the American nation and the power of the Cherokee nation.

South Dakota was ours in the first place, it was illegally taken from us, the Sioux. All these treaties they made our ancestors sign without their full understanding and false promises, taking away South Dakota and other parts of other states too, that was all our land. Come on Congress, WAKE UP, this land is ours, it always was. If you try to change this bill that the President signed, THEN work to make those treaties that our ancestors signed, RIGHT. If you are the HONEST people you say you are and we know you do,then make those treaties RIGHT.

If you want to get technical the Sioux were later arrivals to South Dakota. I believe the Cheyennes and Arapahoes were there first and got pushed out by the Sioux. The Black Hills were considered holy land to them too.
And folks, this is a humor site- its nothing to get uptight about. Its all to be taken lightly and in fun.

They took the land away with paper-now paper will give it back??? The earth is the art and joy of the Creator! ! Blessings to the people. May ¤ peace ¤ prevail and no one be hurt in any way whatever the truth is abt this!

For the record we got a handful or really nasty emails about this story. Things like about how we should be ashamed for printing lies, how we should take the story down, and how we should apologize for intentionally fooling people.

Few comments in general response. We don’t actually print.

1- Ink is yucky and expensive, so we avoid actual printing on everything short of legal documents, of which we may see a few on this one.

2 – If we took down every story we printed that wasn’t true, we’d have what, like ten stories left? This is a satire site and we eek out our place in popular culture by lampooning and poking fun at folly. Take it down? Sheesh, next you’ll ask the federal government to give South Dakota back to the Sioux!

3 – I did not write this article, nor did I edit or approve it, but I would have. I do apologize with sincerity to those who mistook it for fact. It was not, and is not, our intention to deceive people. We only aim to entertain and raise powerful questions and discussions. Even looking back, there’s nothing in this story that would have led me to be cautious about its level of believability. The claim is so outrageous, the story is laced with jokes, and there is no other media outlet covering the story. It’s my belief that this would be huge international news, which it was not.

So in summary, I am sorry for those who took the story at face value, but I will not remove the story as it remains a powerful commentary on the situation and a perfect opportunity for those of deepest conviction to open dialogue independently about these matters that mean so much to so many, and rightly so.

It always amazes me how people take EVERYTHING they see on the internet, or read in an email as the total truth of it all. Point out real facts and one is immediately shouted down by the gullible masses that are too lazy to check things out to see if they were true or not.

I think its fantastic. Especially that Obama is messing with Congess.
Its okay for them to make mistakes and go back on them.
Ignorance is no excuse. Unfortunately, I’m sure its all temporary.
White man is gonna Indian Give again! I hope they at least
compensate for this massive mistake. Forget 100 acres. Give
Back 100,000. I live in California but I have already contacted my
Congressman and Senator. Let there be change for the better!

wow….white this white that….it’s insane how racist you PEOPLE are. does the hate inside every give you a bad taste? or are you all used to having shit come out of your mouths? Conquered people….you should have no shame…where is the pride where is the effort for something better?…instead of hating enjoy what the good can offer and just stay away from the bad….all people can act evil and devine…to lable a goupe of people because of missgivings and small mindedness, is why everyone is where they are now….so change or choke on your own shit

I believe this was posted on CNN Ireports which isn’t actually CNN but a forum where readers/watchers can post news and stories. So it isn’t the same as CNN actually reporting the story. If it appeared also on the main CNN pages, let me know, post up a link.

i personally think this is the only good thing Obama has done since he’s been in office. actually i think this is the only thing he’s done. Well maybe he’ll fuck up and give the land back to the Cherokee and Shoshone’s too. I can only dream.

This story about the typo not being caught in time to save S. Dakota before being signed into law by the President – is indeed an interesting story – yet I am still confused – since it states the story is FALSE, yet it seems true enough to me that this WAS indeed an error that got caught TOO LATE, and no doubt be reversed. . . .

BUT

The OTHER amazing story on this page – was the story about Reverend Mike (the writer of this posting); if you didn’t read his BIO – you must go back and do so, for it is truly amazing and would make a great movie !!!

Clue to folks who missed the satire – check what the site and author say about themselves. Oh, and keep in mind there is some satirical stuff published around the end of March every year…. and “The Onion” is not serious news….

Gregg: May I call you Grigorii? Oh that my long, hard, expansive life were satire. Sometimes fiction is actually stranger than truth disguised as satire wrapped in sardony… But then again, I’ve tried real life and, as the girls like to say, it left me gagging by the toilet wanting more….

Look like he shored up some votes in SD and quite easily too with this “mistake”. What will follow is so predictable. No one living on any reservation has seen any hope or change. They will use you to vilify anyone who clearly sees this error and the president knows its a mistake. Still amazed how so many people fall for his BS like moronic sheeple.

i have wated many moons for something to strike a fire under all my native brothers and sisters.now the time is right to take back all our land.buddy-a-nam-tay-say.chief of the cherokee tribal council.here in illinois

All across this country, we “whites” and many others are the offspring of “illegal aliens.” Our forefathers lied and robbed my indigenous brothers and sisters of North America in a horrific manor.
There is nothing humorous about this so called satire. Autos for $300.00? The Sioux already live in poverty.
My great grandfather moved to this country from Ireland in June, 1847. I cannot change where I was born. I am not a Native American wanna-be, however, it would not hurt any of us to try to walk the good red road!

Alright everyone, I just talked to General Petraus and he has agreed to carpet bomb Arizona into dust.
It will now be fit only for cockroaches and earthworms.
No whites,
no redskins,
no blacks,
no Asians.
Nobody.
Are we all happy now?
The thing has finally been resolved.
Now we can all sing and dance and be happy!
Right?

Ooopsie!
I got my states screwed up.
I thought this was the one about Arizona.
No wonder it took me two years to discover I had taken a wrong turn and ended up in Alaska instead of St. Petersburg, Florida.

this is great!
if a substantial number of the big “factual” news networks had to remove stories that were not “completely truthful”, then without a doubt the only thing left in the news world would be sites like this one

We may consider this as a blessing in disguise, and may all the forces be with us and above all Gods hand. The door has been opened and there is no turning back from here. We too will be working on getting international lawyers and Admiralty lawyers on board to express our voice loud and clear to whoever is at the Corporate level or higher, must go to the top in order to get heard. Thank you very kindly for keeping us all in the loop, and goes with out saying, our prayers are with you all too.

IM A TRIBAL MEMBER FROM THE STATE OF MICHIGAN… ME AND MY WHOLE FAMILY ARE EXSTATIC,,, THATS YOUR LAND! YOUR LAND… THERES POWER IN NUMBERS.. WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER. THE MORE NATIVE U HAVE ON YOUR SIDE. THE BETTER. THE MORE STINK U CAN CREATE ACROSS THE GLOBE. WE SUPPORT U LIKE U OUR BROTHERS IN ARMS. IF THERE IS ANYTHING WE CAN DO ASK.. PLEASE ASK DONT LET THE GOVERMENT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF U. THEY HAVE DONE IT TO ALL NATIVE AMERICANS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS I HOPE YOUR FIGHT, WITH HELP ANY WAY WE CAN.. ALL NATIVE AMERICANS SUPPORT U…. THIS IS FROM OUT SPRITIAL GOD.. WE MIGHT HAVE TO WHIP OUT THE OLD WAR PAINT LOL…. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME ANDREW ICE N FAMILY

I’ve actually sen the National Guard and curfews. And it’s not a joke and it’s nothing to joke around with. Especially with the living conditions on the reservations and an epidemic of suices and self mutilation.

They are doing genocide on everybody right now they had it planned a long time ago. They are doing it with drugs. Everytime you turn around they disrespect the planet Mother Earth. That reminds me of a song In the Year 2525.

[…] January 2010 Top Authors: Fuzzy Duffy took an early lead for 1st-prize, but the race for the 2nd award was tight right up until the last day of the month. Rev. Mike narrowly took the prize over P. Beckert. #1 Fuzzy Duffy #2 Rev. Mike […]