I wish Nader was involved somehow. That would give this whole thing a sweet populist cred. How great that Star Trek is the vehicle for this Take Back the Multiplex movement? Sometimes you gotta love the internets. Sometimes.

Is there anything sicker than nekkid pictures of Cassie Ventura leaked on to the web? There is now. ToFLU – a vegetarian pandemic sweeping the world in the wake of the herbivorous smiling smugly to themselves that the world’s mistreated animal stock has risen against its human masters.

The bloggs are already a-buzzin’ with hate, asking why, why, WHY anyone would want to make fun of vegetarians and “homos.” We don’t know where they gleaned that bias; it’s probably a lot of internal angst about not having enough things to feel self-righteous about.

Anyway, this post has got to stop because yet another annoying white girl has colonized this Williamsburg coffee shop with her loud voice going on about her world travels to Morocco. I know, I know – “Oh my GOD, why are you in Williamsburg?! It’s your own fault for putting yourself in the thick of something so insufferable.” Oh racial apocalypse, donde esta you?

Snap, Crackle, Pop Muzak! We back with Details Magazine riding shotgun on this latest Modern Jackass production featuring SoMos, Greta Lee and another beatific beat by Dougles.

It’s the first installment of the HeMotions musical web series brought to you excluslivey by Details Magazine. View it, comment and spread the love so we can keep tickling your mind, touching your heart and rubbin’ word bombs on your prostates. Jai Ho!

You know what? We love you, Black Steele. We saw you speak at the Republican National Convention in 2004 as Lt. Gov. of Maryland, and though it was obvious the Republican party was using you as the Obama antidote, we still think it’s killer that you continue to serve your ideals as head of the Republican Party. Sure, you shouldn’t apologize to Rush Limbauh for things you meant, but yo, that’s politics and you got to protekt ya neck – and, you know, we’d use that phrase even if you weren’t African-American so let’s not even make an issue out of that.

What we’re trying to say is we think you should keep doing you because you’re a bright dude who’s doing exactly what he needs to be doing – his job. All these people that are jumping on you haven’t taken the time to consider your individual successes that led you to the chairmanship of the RNC; they think you’re a token appointment to check Pres. Obama’s “Blackness.” We know that’s not the case, that you served the Governor of Maryland and ran for a Senate seat to be one of the first black Senators from below the Mason Dixon line (we’re probably wrong on that). It’s unfortunate that the blind adoration of Pres. Obama from the Left, and the reactionary ineptitude of the Right has left you in the middle, a reasonable dude bereft of party, without support whom the Republicans consider feckless and the Democrats consider a sell-out.

But you’re just you, an individual trying to rep his own beliefs. Unfortunately, you’re black, just like our President, and because you’re not him, you demand that America recognize a plurality of “Black Experience.” Well, that’s just an impossible task at this point in time, like leaping tall buildings and bending steel with your hands. Let’s just take baby steps. For now, our President is black. Maybe in the distant future his enemies can be too. Until then brace for disgrace and relentless disparagement; not from us, but from errrrrybody else, Democrats and Republicans alike.