Can women have it all? Do we even want “it all”?

I will no doubt have a lot of push back from people on this. But that’s the spice of life, everyone has their own opinion and experiences so go with me on this one!

So, can women have it all? By “all” I mean a career plus children plus partner plus home etc and do them all to a high standard? And bear with me on this…I’m not sure I even want it “all”.

Now, I am in no way a little housewife who wants to produce 12 children and cook and clean for my husband. I want a career, a successful one that I’ve worked for and created myself. I do also want a happy family and home life. The career part of that equation keeps that family part running. At least at the moment.

For now I am going to be a working Mum, I need to be for financial reasons, but in the haze of newborn baby adventures I’m not sure how I will fit everything in to my life. I mean, physically it will happen, but emotionally, how do I fit in a love for my career and a love for my son? These two things are not equal, and should never be. Therefore is it the career that has to take a back seat to ensure I give enough as a Mum?

One things for sure there seems to be judgement for either. Stay at home Mums somehow being unambitious and resorting themselves to being “just” Mummies, and working Mums, well how dare they actually want to leave their children every day in order to climb the career ladder. And I dare say (somewhat controversially) a lot of this judgement comes from other women?! It baffles me, why can’t we just be on each other’s side?!

Back to me, I feel like the Holy Grail of “Having it all” can be interpreted whatever way you like. To some, having children and not working is having it all, so it’s wrong to assume that SAH Mums are wasting their opportunities. I think it’s ultimately really difficult to give your 100% effort to climbing the career ladder when you’re a woman with children though. Not because we “can’t” but because your priorities are completely and wildly different. I can’t imagine wanting to prep for interviews for promotions and staying late in the office now I have Adam at home.

At the end of the day though I think women can have it all, whatever version of that it may be BUT I think it’s all down to timing. Take me for example, right now I’m happy to put off any jump up the career ladder to be a Mum, and when the time is right I can explore what happens next for me, that might be a year down the line, it might be 3 but it will happen. I’m not sure I could cope doing it all at once, too exhausting! I know women that are doing it though and I have the utmost respect for them. I just don’t think it’s for me right now.

Ultimately though we are all doing what we’re doing because it’s the best thing for our families right now and that’s ok. It’s all ok! No judgement here!

Regardless of whether you are at home or at work, you are the best Mum to your children that they could ever have.