~ Love, dating, and relationships

Seven Qualities That May Lead To A Second Date

So you already made it through the first date, and there were probably two things that got you there: Number one, I felt attracted to you; number two, you seemed like a really great guy. During the first date, what are some things that women look for that will get you to the second date? Sure, the attraction still has to be there, and I still need to feel that you’re a nice guy, but the ante of qualities gets upped if you’re going to get a second date. Below are seven things that could put you ahead of the crowd.

SUCCESS: I don’t care if you drive a garbage truck (yes, I’ve dated a garbage truck driver) or if you run a corporation, being successful in your chosen occupation sends a certain message. I find that, generally speaking, successful men are secure with themselves. This means that I don’t have to hear you talk about how much you hate your job because you love it. This means that I don’t have to hear you whine about how you’re a victim. This means that you feel good about yourself; and, when you feel good about yourself, others feel good being around you.

KIND TO ANIMALS AND THE ENVIRONMENT: A police officer once told me that they take children abusing or torturing animals to be a very serious issue because it will often lead to them becoming adults who abuse or torture animals, children, or people. I want a guy who is kind to animals. I also want a guy who helps to take care of the environment. Guys who are too lazy to recycle or that throw garbage out their car window while driving I have no respect for. “No respect” equals “no more dates.”

TAKES CARE OF HIMSELF AND HIS BELONGINGS: A guy who eats right and dresses well will always seem more attractive than someone who doesn’t. Unless we’re exercising, I don’t want to see him wearing sweats. When we go out, I want to see him order adult meals, not chili cheese fries or chicken McNuggets. When I go to your house, I don’t want to see piles of clothes all over the floor or mold growing in your bathroom. I like it when a guy has good posture and carries himself with pride. Presenting yourself with pride is a very attractive quality.

PLAYS THE ROLE OF THE MAN: On that first date, I want to see a guy who plays the role of the man. I want him to take charge of the date and make the calls on where we go, what we do, and when. I want him to pick up the bill, even when I offer. I want him to pay for the tip, even when I offer. I want him to force me to eat dessert and — oh, wait, I got off track there.

ACTIVE: On the first date I will probably ask you what kinds of activities you like to do. If it’s playing video games, I’m probably not going to want to come back for more. That would also fall under the “plays the role of the man” category. If you’re training for a 5k or marathon, if you like to hike, if you play tennis or golf, if you have a hobby you’re passionate about, those are all qualities I’m hoping to see in you.

MATURE: This is also very close to the “plays the role of the man” category. I love being with a guy who acts his age. I like it when guys are funny too, but there just has to be some level of maturity. I don’t want to hear about what you did in high school or have you tell me fart jokes. On the other hand, I’d love to hear about your week, your last great trip, or what your hopes and dreams are.

MANNERS: Manners may be listed last, but it can trump a lot of the above categories. Unlocking my car door first and letting me in, opening doors, pulling out chairs, letting me enter first, and not burping in front of me are all things that I find to be very attractive in a man. It shows me that you respect me. Every girls likes to be treated like she’s special; and it’s those little, cost-free gestures that can do that.

Looking back at my dating career, only about 20% of the men I’ve gone out with have made it to a second date (or me with them). If I have a few doubts but am not sure, I’ll usually go on a second date; but my initial gut feeling usually proves to be right. So, guys, don’t show up for a date in sweats and without brushing your teeth and tell your friends, “This is me. If she likes me, it’s what you see is what you get.” Because no one wants to see that. Think of dating as a job interview and put your best foot forward.

Happy dating!

If you haven’t checked out my romance novel, Nine Days In Greece, you are one behind because now the sequel, Risking The Nine Days, is out. Both are available on Amazon.