Expect an imminent announcement from Mush on a new Gadget. Perhaps a personal Tesla Tank equipped with front and rear flamethrowers or a personal Space-X rocket ship capable of reaching Mars.

Tesla is dead. Stick a big fucking fork in this POS and flip it. Or place your bets and play the bounces. Good luck. Gamblers who have been propping up this joker are bailing and buying bitcoins. Mercedes-Benz and Audi electrics imminent:

I finally saw a Modal 3 on the street. It is a boring little Chick Car. The owners of the Model S are wealthy, image-conscious people from Greenwich and Darien. The owner of a Model 3 (what an asinine name, btw) clearly wants his image to be that of a Nerd. It is just a stupid-looking car. And don’t get me started on the “minimalist” interior and the concept of the operating it from a tablet on the dashboard. And the Model X SUV is another disaster from a design standpoint. Fugly. Pontiac Aztec-worthy fugly. Did Tesla really think that the buyers of luxury automobiles want less stuff in their vehicles? The concept is absurd and one glance at the Options List of any European manufacturer will show the folly quite clearly. It is not hard to double the cost of your new Porsche Panamera.

“According to the Tesla Owner’s Forum, the $7,500 federal credit will fall to $3,750 by June 30, 2018; $1,750 by December 31, 2018; and $0.00 by June 30, 2019.”federal

The first Consumer Reports review of a Tesla Model 3 found the all-electric sedan for the middle class has great handling, but that the ride quality is very poor.
By putting a $1,000 deposit down in April 1, 2016, Consumer Reports (CR) was able to receive one of the first Tesla Model 3 commercial deliveries in mid-February 2018. Only deluxe vehicles with $23,000 in options were available, but CR was able to test the vehicle to determine the performance of a high-volume $35,000 standard unit.

One does not simply mass-produce automobiles.

CR’s testers reported they were “impressed by our car’s glued-to-the-road handling, with steering that is quick and precise, much like a well-tuned sports car.” But regarding ride quality, CR found that the “car is overly stiff, struggling to absorb bumps with the dignity expected from a luxury car. There’s also considerable wind noise at highway speeds.”

The party is over

The main reason Tesla has been able to lose money for 15 years and not go bankrupt is receipt of $1.6 billion in U.S. federal and state electric vehicle tax credits on the sale of 160,000 luxury cars it produced and sold in the U.S. at a $90,000 average price. But according to the Tesla Owner’s Forum, the $7,500 federal credit will fall to $3,750 by June 30, 2018; $1,750 by December 31, 2018; and $0.00 by June 30, 2019.

Tesla just reported that the company lost $665 million in the last three months of 2017, and about $1.9 billion for the year. About 80 percent of those losses were due to the ramp-up of the Model 3, which is a year behind schedule. More concerning, Tesla is predicted to lose $855 million in the first three months of 2018, and over $2 billion for the year.

Tesla is financially betting the viability of the company on the ability to quickly produce and sell at least 125,000 Model 3 as all-electric mid-sized luxury cars per year at an un-subsidized starting price of $35,000. (The problem is that the first runs are only of the fully-loaded models at $55,000).
Tesla does not offer monthly sales figures, but the “insideevs.com” market intelligence estimates that Tesla last month sold 2,485 Model 3 units; 1,125 Model S sedans; and 875 Model X SUVs. But with 1,882,848 U.S. personal vehicle sales in February, Tesla held a 0.2 percent market share with just 4,482 units.

Several years ago, Tesla was the only electric-vehicle on U.S. roads. But there are now 38 models to choose from, and most car manufacturers plan to produce several electric-vehicle models by 2019.

Tesla’s Model S lost its position as the top-selling electric vehicle in its California home market to General Motors’ Chevrolet Bolt. According to the California New Car Dealers Association’s Auto Outlook, GM sold or leased 13,487 Bolts versus 11,813 Tesla Model S sedans. The San Francisco Chronicle blamed the loss of leadership on the fact that Tesla’s Model S starts at $74,500 — over twice Bolt’s $36,620 starting price.

Let’s not even get into Solar City. Or flamethrowers. It is too much to handle all at once.

On this fine day with the DJIA currently up over 500 points, let’s have a trip down memory lane to the last two weeks during a mild 10% correction. Oh, there was plenty of prose involved, but I’m busy today, so pictures will have to suffice.

And what compilation of panic would not be complete without Gartman? Does anyone outside of CNBC take this clown seriously at this point?

NO STOCK IS SAFE:

Even the Asians are in PANIC

Either this guy just lost a bundle or he is suffering from severe constipation:

Oh. The Drama.

What at panic would be complete without a look back at Occupy Wall Street?

I just told my clients to buy heavily as we are swiftly heading to Dow 30K. How can this be?

Let’s get something clear here, people. Apple ($AAPL) is not a growth stock, it is a value stock. It made that transition years ago when they started paying a dividend.

When we approach the Earnings Date, however, the mindset of most people is the opposite. It has been clear for over a month now that the iPhone X sales number for the quarter will be lower than the ridiculous “consensus” expects. Delays with the OLED screen and facepalm-recognition software were well-documented by November. Yet Advisors and other “seasoned professionals” have been wringing their hands the past two weeks and the result has been a sharp decline in price from a lofty $180 down to $165.

Screaming buy? No, wait for a sharp drop on the earnings announcement as this one metric will drive the stock lower. I plan on selling a meager chunk of my horde of shares (I have been a buyer for well over a decade) on any significant drop, with the goal of picking up the same amount of shares at a discount once the dust settles and sanity kicks in. If my scenario unfolds as I hope it will, I will then take my winnings and upgrade my Corvette to the 2019 Grand Sport Coupe in Watkins Glen Gray Metallic. I play to win.

Back in October 2016 I said this: “BUY THE DIP – while you can, under $115 Average down if further weakness tomorrow.”

A month earlier on Twitter, I had eviscerated the worst tech journalist on the planet, a certain Jennifer Booton, who had been making a career out of Apple-bashing in her blogs and articles. Booton probably had a price point of $50 at the time Warren Buffett was sinking $1 Billion into AAPL stock. We actually had a Twitter War at one point. As the stock started to climb from sub-$100 I was merciless to the point where she blocked me on Twitter. Jennifer is gone now, relegated to a corner of the Interwebs far from MarketWatch – something called SportTechie – nobody can survive the beating Bozo Booton received in 2017. Am I gloating? Goddamned right I am, and to Jen, my best wishes on your new career writing about gadgets. I’m sure you’ll do a bang-up job and thanks for a splendid, real-life example of the Peter Principle in action.

You can see where Buffett, the undisputed Master of Timing, sank one billion dollars into AAPL at the crosshairs on this chart:

Let’s see if I am right. Again.

In other news, The Unofficial SOTU Response from self-described “national socialist” (?) Bernie Sanders dissolved mid-speech and went offline for three minutes, a more perfect metaphore would be difficult to create. Perhaps Comrade Bernie hired a few DREAMers as his crack I.T. Staff.

And what puts a smile on my face the first thing in the morning like a new meme-worthy SOTU rebuttal that makes one forget all about Marco Rubio’s lunging for a bottle of spring water. BEHOLD Drooling Joe Kennedy. This ain’t your granddaddy’s Kennedy Klan.

The carnival barker who proclaimed the death of the automobile industry is about to get brushed aside by those he so brashly dismissed back when Tesla was really the only game in town besides the spectacular fail of the 1st-gen Nissan Leaf.

Oh it will be a Day Trader’s Delight for a little while longer. But it is the rube stuck on the Model 3 waiting list who was expecting his new toy in February who will be the first to bail as BMW and Daimler Benz (and Honda, and GM, and more!) are rolling out some serious and cooler-than-Tesla hardware at the car shows this winter.

BMW alone is on fire. Daimler has announced $Billions are being invested in EV and Battery Plants in the southern US.

Tesla has lost the mantle of Most Cool EV’s that it had as it’s Ace in the hole for years. Reality in the form of solvent, behemoth multinational corporations with unlimited production capabilities has aarrived.

BEHOLD:

Broadside. Unleashed.

Honda also unveiled a very hot item, a luxury vehicle aimed straight at the Tesla Model S clientele.

Seems like everyone is getting into the act. There is a lot of money to be made over the next two decades and beyond. That money will not be made in the form of the horrendous Tesla Model X. Nobody is going to shave their head in honor of that beast.

…and speaking of money, or lack thereof…UNSUSTAINABLE:

$TSLA – on track to lose in one quarter what Solyndra lost in it’s lifetime. Perhaps Elon Musk can go to D.C., hat in hand, and ask The Donald for a small cash infusion. I am sure the President won’t mind, especially after Musk single-handedly destroyed Trump’s technology commission when he noisily left in a huff to protest Trump’s climate policy.

After all, Trump is not known to hold a grudge or to bring up past issues when discussing a Deal.

Which brings us to the Moral of today’s story: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Good luck, Mr. Musk. You do make a fine rocket ship. Although now that President Trump has indicated some robust increases in the NASA budget, something tells me you may have lost Most Favored Status amongst potential NASA partners. Cheers, mate!

So you’re a member of Buzzfeed Staff which gives you Carte Blanche to make fun of Whitey because race-baiting is so cool in 2017.

It does not, however, prevent the Internet from coming back and biting you in that big ol’ ass. BEHOLD one of the finest moments of 2017, barely squeaking in under the gun.

When this:

Became this:

37 Things Black People Need To Stop Ruining In 2018

First of all, America.
Posted on December 30, 2017, 22:15 GMT

Samir Al-Hajeed

Community Contributor

…and Community Contributor Samir Al-Hajeed entered Internet Lore and started grabbing all the clicks

“Samir Al-Hajeed is a BuzzFeed user and their posts have not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed’s editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations.”

Mr. Al-Hajeed’s post remained up for most of the day and was only noticed by Buzzfeed after it had gone viral. (No surprise as it is rumored that Buzzfeed may soon be going the way of other failed leftist websites, a 2017 trend). But by that time it had been archived by alert Netizens, preserved in all it’s glory for the world to enjoy, forever.

The above article was picked up by Zerohedge over the weekend. It is only a metter of time before the MSM stops fawning over Musk and turns on him like a pack of jackals.

The Ponzi Scheme is clear: conjure up and repeat utterly fantastical “visions” of the future of electric vehicles in a desperate attempt to draw in more rubes who will gleefully hand you cash money to keep your house of cards from turning to dust.

Yep, just unveil a truck that does not exist. Never mind trivia like where it would be built, how it would be financed or even how it would carry normal payloads after being saddled with the weight of multiple enormous battery packs. Then just arbitrarily toss out a number for alleged range on said non-existent vehicle. I have seen that number swell from 200 miles to 500 miles just in the past week. And of course it will be able to accept a full recharge in as little as 30 minutes from a non-existent “Megacharger”. Said charger is rumored to be powered by the sun!

And if that doesn’t generate enough buzz to bring in more desperately needed capital, just tell them the other non-existent fucking thing can fly:

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a FLYING TESLA!

“There is a sucker born every minute”, said P.T. Barnum. Now THAT man was a visionary.

The collapse of this monstrosity is going to make Solyndra look tame. I understand Disney ($DIS) has placed the first order for ten trucks. As soon as I publish this blog entry I am logging into eTrade and selling my $DIS shares. I refuse to invest in companies run by fools.

And what better way to ensure that the government will continue to shovel cash into your gaping maw than to diss Donald Trump by publically resigning from his Technology Council? I see this as Trump’s reaction the next time Tesla comes begging, hat in hand:

“And then has asked for another $10 billion to cover 2nd-Q interest!”

I understand Musk’s next Big Thing is to colonize the planet Mars. I recommend we send Musk, Gov. Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown and the entire board of Walt Disney Corp as the first inhabitants. There should be plenty of solar energy available to power Mars Station Musk, thereby eliminating the need for a capital infusion. Godspeed, lads.

Another artist’s rendering of a not-real thing, from your friends at Tesla Motors

Elon Musk, the Palo Alto carnival barker (and poster-boy of the “climate change” hysteria being foisted upon us by Californistan Illuminati), tweeted that his truck, which does not exist, is a “beast”. He also said that it is “worth seeing this beast in person.

“Seriously next level” sounds like something you might here in casual conversation at your local internet coffee bar, muttered by juveniles:

Tesla Semi truck unveil set for September. Team has done an amazing job. Seriously next level.

Musk had originally said the company would reveal a prototype of the vehicle in September. He then pushed the reveal date back to October 26. And on Friday he delayed the reveal date yet again.

The electric-car maker is now expected to reveal the electric big-rig on November 16, Musk said in a tweet on Friday.

Musk has blamed the delay on Puerto Rico, claiming Tesla is working heroically on producing batteries for the crippled island. As a Silicon Valley Eco-hero, you have to keep your climate change fans happy as well as your investors, after all.

It will be interesting to hear him explain why truckers would want a rig that can only travel 300 miles before it has to be recharged when the average miles traveled by most semis is somewhere around 600 miles a day.

Charging stations would be a challenge as this is not as simple as throwing a few superchargers next to the gas pumps. We are talking about taking up a lot of real estate in the truck stops and that might not make the other drivers very happy.

Driverless rigs are also bandied about in this conversation, which I am sure will thrill the Teamsters Union. I have even heard talk of one human-driven truck electronically towing a fleet af driverless vehicles behind him. Freight trains on the highway. Imagine attempting to change lanes with a driverless convoy in the middle lane. What could go wrong? There is so much basic reality that never seems to make it into the conversation. Ford Motor claims they will have driverless vehicles on the road in three years from now.

“In the event of a pending accident, will the software in a driverless vehicle protect the occupants or pedestrians?”

Back in June, the LA Times posted an article referencing the above tweet from Tesla CEO and carnival barker Elon Musk. Everything Musk does is taken verbatim, accepted as truth. P.T. Barnum wished he had been so lucky.

CNBC dutifully published more fake news, this time revolving around the ‘Boring Company’, an empty shell masquerading as something real:

Elon Musk just posted a bunch of pictures of his tunnel and ‘Boring’ equipmentElon Musk said his Boring Co. has begun digging.
Musk posted several photos of the equipment on Twitter.
The effort is aimed at building tunnels under Los Angeles.

The project is one of Musk’s latest ventures, which was inspired by a desire to alleviate “out of control” traffic in Los Angeles

This is all pure horseshit, of course. Elon Musk and his magical boring machine have not begun digging anywhere. The pics and video in the articles are “renderings”. One truly has to be on the far side of the moon to think companies can just start digging tunnels underneath existing infrastructure purely on the conjecture and fantasy of a corporate CEO who is annoyed at the time he wastes commuting from LAX to San Francisco.

Without government subsidies, Tesla and affiliates would not have built one single car, space rocket, or “boring machine”. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. And none built without Supreeme Leader Musk shilling at fancy parties,

Musk is cool, man. And he is a hero because you know the electric car is so environmentally correct despite the enormous amount of industrial waste involved in producing massive batteries that sooner or later will have to be discarded somewhere, as well as the inconvenient fact that electricity generated from coal and fossil fuels are what powers the EV market.

There has not been a successful launch of an American car company in almost a century, and even the successful ones burned out after a few years.

The list of failures is a mile long, with many a storied name alongside some forgettable ones: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_defunct_automobile_manufacturers_of_the_United_States

There is no reason why Tesla should not have followed Solyndra as an example of government waste in the name of junk science. No reason but a huckster with the odd name of ‘Elon Musk’.

Now I think the Tesla Model X is a cool car, don’t get me wrong. I still remember the day I first saw not one, but two of them cruising along the Merritt Parkway in tony Fairfield County, CT. At first I thought they were Jaguars until I noticed the odd logo on the deck lid.

But the economics of building an expensive, limited production electric vehicle are far different from mass-producing tens of thousands of cheap vehicles on an assembly line, especially when you have no experience doing it.

Tesla is in the process of finding that out as we speak, as barely a trickle of the new Model 3 have been produced and Musk is on record claiming they would be cranking them out at an astounding rate of 30,000/month by December. Matters that would be trivial to an established car company, such as welding steel frames, are proving to be problematic. Musk brushed aside criticism as is his style, but the stock market did not, punishing the stock from it’s airy highs in 2017 down below $300/share (still an absurd price for a massively money-losing operation).

And the image of Elon Musk, Cool Guy took a hit in October when, due to the failure of the Model 3 assembly and less than anticipated sales of the Model X and the SUV, the company fired hundreds of workers. Musk tweeting that night about hosting a small cookout on the roof of the factory the night of the firings did not do much for his image. I am not sure about hanging with goofy John Oliver, either. No, I cannot imagine GM’s Bob Lutz in this picture, either.

And stories have been popping up about the fit and finish on the flagship Model X, with claims of interior panels that do not fit, along with rattles and squeaks that would doom the reputation of any mainstream car company. Let us not forget what happened to the Italians and the French in the U.S. market back in the 1970’s and 1980’s. I still have fond memory of driving my 1984 Alfa Romeo while various interior bits woukd literally fall into my lap along the way. That failure of the head gasket barely 300 miles past the 36000-mile warranty and the clutch failure at 45000 miles are also burned into my brain. I wish all the best to Alfa and FIAT as they attempt to reenter the US. The new Alfas in particular seem well-built with stunning specs but then again, FIAT is now one of the largest if not the largest carmaker on the planet.

But it is not manufacturing woes that will doom Tesla Motors. It is competition, something Tesla has been immune up to this point in time due to it’s early entry and those billions of dollars in government largesse.

Daimler-Benz just announced they will be building factories in the US to produce EV’s and the batteries to power them. Billions of dollars have been earmarked. BMW is already building both the utilitarian i3 and the stunning i8 models. The Mercedes concept is much cooler than a Tesla. The Coolness Factor is huge and unquantifiable.

But it is General Motors that has fired the first salvo in the takedown of Tesla Motors. The Bolt EV will be a huge success. Nissan has also redesigned the boring Leaf EV, making it quite similar to the Chevy in design and less of a space-nerd rendering of what an EV is expected to look like.

You also of course have hybrids, which are gaining in popularity and are no longer defined by the wimpy Toyota Prius but rather by the hairy-chested Porsche 918 and the gorgeous and potent Acura NSX.

Then you have European countries mandating 100% electric vehicle usage by 2030 and other assorted nonsense. The internal combustion engine is not going to simply disappear. I love my 2017 Corvette Grand Sport and it’s 460hp V8 that happens to get 27mpg on the highway in Eco Mode with cylinder deactivation. It will never be replaced with an EV. No. Fucking. Way.

Peter Tertzakian, an energy economist for ARC Energy Institute, argued in recent commentary that even with bans put in place by every country in the world and deep penetration of EVs beyond 2030, the number of ICE vehicles in 2050 will be only slightly lower than today’s number.

I made a lot of money trading crude futures on Thursday. It is something I rarely do and do not recommend it to any sane individual.

A gem for all you energy commodity traders, from an astute long-time trader I greatly respect:
“Besides the 6/21 uptrend channel bottom line that we are on @ or near 49 I am looking at the recent selling activity before the last 3 hurricanes to make US landfall. the heavy selling occurs the day before the storm hits with very strong buying the following days. Harvey US landfall Aug 25, selling on Aug 24 from 48.40 to 47 and a few days after takes it to 45.50 then hard spike up to 49.40.

Sept 8th hard selling from 49.10 to 47.22 a day before Irma Sept 10th then a big spike for new high 50.50.

Sept 18th selling from 50.85 to 49.70 (Maria) Sept 20th then hard spike to 52.80. I think the retrace is done, the production shutdown with refineries in harms way and the increased gas usage for any evacuations is going to spike this to 53.53.”

This is better research than anything you will ever get from a chartist/technical trader. So after buying and selling five contracts like a Contrarian Boss, to great reward on Thursday, today I bought again near the hurricane-hysteria LOD. Five futures contracts with an average cost of 49.32. Stop loss be damned, I am willing to hold it until the hysteria dies on the vine. Hurricane Harvey was an anomaly. This one incoming is Cat 1, at best. In fact, this time it will be offshore production that suffers, not the refineries. That sounds positively bullish.

We’ll see how this plays out by Wednesday. Until then, stay safe and warm, dear friends on the Gulf Coast. I’ll be up on the positively BALMY Connecticut Gold Coast, the wife is away for the weekend and I will be cranking up YouTube through one of the Rokus and annoying my neighbors with very loud music through open windows. No open screens, the fucking Stink Bugs are clamoring to come inside for the winter (another positively horrid accidental import from the hellish insect world of Asia).

Ladies and Gents, wait for the amazing Les Paul of the Master, Martin Barre, setting the tone for my weekend…