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Topic : 01/11 In Search Of …

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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:51:22 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Our parents are among the most pivotal people in our life. They literally shape our minds and our personalities, teach us morals, values, and right from wrong. So when a parent disappears from a child’s world, the loss can result in a life-long quest. Dr. Phil meets two women whose child/parent bond was broken under two separate sets of devastating circumstances. Erica is in search of the man who murdered her mother when Erica was just a toddler. Erica says he tortured her mother, then shot her on the front lawn where she finally died. The man who committed this horrifying crime is Erica's own father! Then, Cressi has a daughter whom she hasn’t seen in nearly 20 years. She says her ex-husband snatched the girl from her home when she was just 8 months old. Did Cressi do everything she could to find her missing child, or does her daughter, Darby, have a right to feel abandoned? You will be amazed at what Dr. Phil finds as he goes in search of these missing loved ones. Talk about the show here.

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01/11 In Search Of …

Dr. Phil

I don't even have to watch this show to know what Erica is going through. I see it playing out with my best friend and her two Grandchildren. And maybe this isn't the show for this message but it will be in these two children's future.

You see on Nov. 5, 2006 my best friends daughter was killed by her boyfriend in front of their two children. He insist it was an accident. Bull----. An accident may be shooting a person once. but when you shot a person at point blank range three times it is not an accident. My friend has been fighting for permanent custody for these two children every sense this has happened. But our so called wonderful court system gave temporary custody two his parents. how cruel is that . Considering they have one son in prison the Grandfather believes women are second class citizen. And treats his wife and daughter as such. And their youngest is up for murder. Now I was informed this morning that the murderer has been let out on bail. This is a person who is suppose to have no contact at all with his children until after his trial which has now been moved to May 2007. This is a murderer who to make his son of 5 year old behave would put a monster mask on to spank him. And apparently had the mask on when he shot the children's mother, in front of both children According to both children. And now he is out on bail. Now like Erica one of two things is going to happen between now and May.

(1) This ---hole is either going to jump bale and run with his dad and the two children to keep from going to jail. (the father has already made it clear this is one of his plans. Or

(2) This ---hole will jump bale and run to keep from going to prison more than likely with his son but not his daughter of three years old.

Therefore the little girl as she gets older will be like Erica wondering who her father is and why did he leave her. I swear I just don't understand all this senseless murder. And why people can't think about the children who are the one's hurt in all this. I can't wait to hear how Erica ordeal come to an end. I feel for her. I just pray to God that these two little ones don't have to deal with the same issues. I know if they were with their mothers parents they would be getting the help they are both going to need. Something they are not getting from the other Grandparents(the Grandfather says they don't need it there's nothing wrong with them) except for the meeting the courts said they have to be seen for.

I just want to say Thank you for letting me vent this morning. I pray that both these issues are taken care of the right way.

All In The Family

Unfortunately, it seems that murder within a family happens more than we think. This is true in my case.

My Mom was murdered by my half-sister, but not before she tried to "do her in" prior: got a call at work (of course, not from the sister), saying my Mom was found unconscious on the floor and that she'd been there at least 4 hrs., before the cleaning lady found her. I raced to the hospital. When I walked into the exam room, my Mom looked like an abused little girl. When I looked at my half-sister, she immediately hung her head down. She could not look at me in my eyes.

Unfortunately, a few months later, I witnessed my Mom take her last breath - right after the fatal heart attack - which was the end result of poisoning - by the half relative.

Due to the ongoing investigation into my Mom's murder, I cannot say more. However, I'm grateful this forum has allowed me to speak the truth and expose the murderer.

This half-relative has been described by professionals as a textbook case: psychopath/sociopath, with a HUGE dose of narcissism and an over inflated ego.

One day, this poor excuse of a human being will be judged ultimately, by God himself. She is now in her mid 60's, so her 'day' is coming. I will celebrate, when I find out she no longer takes up space on this earth.

In Search of.....

I haven't watch the show yet but my message is to Cressi and Darby. I'm a 46 yr.old female that hasn't seen her Father for 36 yrs. due to a bad Divorse. Just a few months ago I found my Father, had two conversations with him, and relized that I was better off without him. The rejection really hit hard to find out the person that gave you life doesn't want to be part of your life. Darby, protect yourself, take it slow and hold your head high.

Hope You or Your Staff READ This post

I was three years old when my father died from a supposed suicide. The day we were taken away from my parents by CPS was the same day he SUPOSSEDLY killed himself. Only two days after his death and our removal we were taken to his funeral by social workers and then taken back to our foster homes. We spent about 2 years in foster homes while my grandfather and grandmother negotiated with the courts to get all of us together and returned to their home. In 1976 we were finally reunited and I started preschool soon after.

My grandparents meaning well tried to lie about why he died and told us he died from a heart attack. My mom lived with us for a short time but ditched us when I was 7 when she figured out my grandparents had a handle on the situation. We never saw her or heard from her for five years. My grandfather started molesting me when I was 10 and at the age of 15 I had the confrontation to end all confrontations with him, he trashed my room and called me a whore out in the back yard while I was hanging laundry up. I had no choice but to run away that day and took drastic measures to make sure that was the last time I saw my grandfather. I did the unthinkable and threatened to kill myself in front of my HS counselor who was out for a walk that evening when I found her.

Between the time I was 12 and 15 my mom had been talking to us sporadically and I thought she was going to finally be responsible. NOT. When I was 16 I talked to a social worker who knew the case when I was three and he told me that my dad did kill himself.

I started to pursue my own unofficial investigation and found some unsettling things that to this day lead me tobelieve that there was foul play involved. To this day I honestly believe my mom killed my father. My grandfather at that time ordered everything with my dads blood on it to be burned, and there was a half written suicide note found in his pocket.

Last year I found a scrap book of my fathers haphazardly left somewhere in my grandfathers house and took it home. I called my mom and asked her why she never told me about this or if she knew about it why she knowingly and willfully withheld this vital piece of my father from me. All she could do is say 'Your father wasn't the saint you think he is,' I asked her why she said that and she said he kept wanting more kids and I didnt want any and didnt even want the four I had. She mentioned certain things about making her act a certain way in front of the customers and my fathers sister attacking her one day. When I talked with my aunts they all say that it never happened. They were all there on the day in question.

She also mentioned something about having to go into a mental hospital after his death. I would like to find out which one and see if she is telling the truth on that.

Pardon my language for a moment but I got the ulitmate mind **** early on in my childhood. I lost my father and my brothers and my home all in the course of one day. We were removed from the home because of my moms negligent abuse.

If you or your staff or Robin read this I ask that you please consider taking this case on even though it is a cold case. I want to find out what really happened while my grandfather and mom are still alive and can be put to a lie detector test. If it turns out they are innocent no harm no foul if not then I will have them prosecuted. I need to know what happened so I can finally put my fathers memory to rest.

Amanda says she is not my daughter - even calls me Barbara instead of mom

I made mistakes. I was young, dumb and full of .... I know that now. But I thought we had gotten through all of those stumbling blocks the both of us had. But she has chosen to feel abandoned when I am right here and she knows where I am. She didn't even send me a Christmas card. I would have sent one to her and the girls but she has moved and I don't know her new address or phone number. All I have is the office number. I sent mail there and she sends it right back to me. I email her and she doesn't email me back. She hates me. She considers my sister who died at 49 years old of breast cancer to be her mother. So she states that now her mother is dead. When I am right here. I miss my granddaughters something fierce. I have just gotten off of a two week crying jag. I just couldn't stop. Even in the doctor's office, I couldn't stop crying. I guess it worked itself out because the crying has stopped. I did have to get stronger medication and different medication. I have had four surgeries this year to fix my knees and ankles. I still have to go through another ankle surgery because the first one didn't take correctly. It looks like it is broken, I swear to God. Funny looking thing.

Just wish Amanda and I could forge some new ground for a new and better relationship. I am not going to live forever...we are not promised one more day or night. I wish with all my heart to have my daughter and granddaughters back in my life. Even if for one more day. Hopefully more but that one more day would be worth a million dollars in my book.

There has been so much loss in my family lately. It is dwindling down to hardly no one. I just wish she could see that too.

Amanda was class valedictorian, she put herself through technical college and graduated from Carolina at Chapel Hill, all this with having two children and a job. She is so smart. And that is the way I raised her. But now she thinks she is too smart for me. I thought once she became a mother, she would at least have some understanding of the reason I did the things I did. But that didn't happen. She just saw me as someone weak who not couldn't do better but wouldn't do better. But that is not true either. It is just so frusterating. But I am going forward....that is the only way to do.

01/11 In Search Of …

I can relate to this...TRUE STORY! DR PHIL PLEASE READ!

My father KILLED (he turned himself in,he confessed ,plead guilty even in front of a jury)my step mother on my birthday when I was 12 years of age.At first they thought my father was killed from the amount of blood they found in his trunk of the car, turned out to be my step mothers. I cant go into detail about it all for respect of the people on the message board.It was all over the local news stations(I even went as far as going up to them when they came up to my school for a presentation, and I told them "Thanks for making my life hell for flashing everything on the news" they didnt care at all for the damage done to me or my family as long as they got their story they wanted, the lack of sympathy was more then enough to say they DIDNT care in the least about other people), I faced so much ridicule from the kids my age that I didnt go to school for a week. The names that I was called was "murderer's daughter", too many to even remember as the list went on and on. Some of the kids even would say out loud "Dont go near her she might kill you as well", yep the kids were cruel(even though they KNEW it wasnt my fault let alone doing). I KNOW what the girl on the show is going through emotionaly(forgot her name), the emotional distress, pretty much EVERYTHING! I could write a book on what I have been through and what I have done to get past the obstacles in my life. I feel for her and wanted to express my concern for her, she isnt alone. I am NO WAY like my father, never was. I have gotten so much counseling its enough to make ones head spin, and have gone on with my life. Let alone gotten past a few more life traumas in my life with the patience of the counselors I have worked with.

Dr Phil, this happens alot more then what some people actually think, the kids are often left in the dark or to face ridicule from other kids or family ,friends ,and neighbors.

I just wanted you all to know

I made mistakes. I was young, dumb and full of .... I know that now. But I thought we had gotten through all of those stumbling blocks the both of us had. But she has chosen to feel abandoned when I am right here and she knows where I am. She didn't even send me a Christmas card. I would have sent one to her and the girls but she has moved and I don't know her new address or phone number. All I have is the office number. I sent mail there and she sends it right back to me. I email her and she doesn't email me back. She hates me. She considers my sister who died at 49 years old of breast cancer to be her mother. So she states that now her mother is dead. When I am right here. I miss my granddaughters something fierce. I have just gotten off of a two week crying jag. I just couldn't stop. Even in the doctor's office, I couldn't stop crying. I guess it worked itself out because the crying has stopped. I did have to get stronger medication and different medication. I have had four surgeries this year to fix my knees and ankles. I still have to go through another ankle surgery because the first one didn't take correctly. It looks like it is broken, I swear to God. Funny looking thing.

Just wish Amanda and I could forge some new ground for a new and better relationship. I am not going to live forever...we are not promised one more day or night. I wish with all my heart to have my daughter and granddaughters back in my life. Even if for one more day. Hopefully more but that one more day would be worth a million dollars in my book.

There has been so much loss in my family lately. It is dwindling down to hardly no one. I just wish she could see that too.

Amanda was class valedictorian, she put herself through technical college and graduated from Carolina at Chapel Hill, all this with having two children and a job. She is so smart. And that is the way I raised her. But now she thinks she is too smart for me. I thought once she became a mother, she would at least have some understanding of the reason I did the things I did. But that didn't happen. She just saw me as someone weak who not couldn't do better but wouldn't do better. But that is not true either. It is just so frusterating. But I am going forward....that is the only way to do.

First of all I just wanted to let all of you know that read my posting last week. That I am still here and I am trying to get help. Thanks you for praying for me. Dr Phil or his staff. I have been trying to reach the united way here in Havre Montana. I have not been able to do so. I know I need to get some counseling. The closest place is in Great Falls (two hours away) any suggestions

Search for birth parents

Hi: I'm a johnny come late on this tipic, but I saw it and found it interesting that most of the pole thought they would look if they didn't know their birth parents. I can guess most were not in that situation. Me, I speak from expereience. You don't want to know. I was taken away from my parents and given to my maternal grandparents when I was 3. I was left with a lot of baggage. You never will find out "why?" and everyone will look at you as the "one". After years of wondering why I was the "one" I just decided it wasn't worth the energy and I moved on. I knew my parents and my siblings. One sister before me, whom I missed dearly and still do, and the two after me. One brother and one sister. Those siblings will never and have never considered me part of their family no matter how I tried to include them in mine. That was a hard situation growing up but I think that if you are adopted, you will be more let down by the fact that once a person gives a child up, they really truely don't want that person in their lives. I have two kids that I could never just give them away and with that feeling I still can never understand the reasoning because I would die for my kids. There was no divorice, no drugs, drinking - nothing out of the orginary, I was told I was a horrible child and that they didn't want another girl baby. My advise, don't do it, if you do, search from afar for health reasons and don't try to get involved in the family you think you may deserve. Thanks for reading.

Medical problems

The only reason to find parents that abandoned me is to ask questions about family medical problems. Otherwise, if they didn't care enough about me to raise me, or even seek me out, why should i want a relationship with them? Yeah, i can forgive someone, but i don't have to buddy up with them either. I can go off and start my own family, that's within my control to do so.