1. The Bible tells
us, Heb 12:15, LOOKING DILIGENTLY LEST ANY MAN FAIL OF THE
GRACE OF
GOD; LEST ANY ROOT OF BITTERNESS SPRINGING UP TROUBLE
YOU, AND THEREBY MANY
BE DEFILED.
2. The fruits of bitterness are anger, wrath, slander, hate, and malice
(or desire to see another suffer).

2-STAGES
OF BITTERNESS

1. Oversensitive
to a verbal remark, action, or lack of action.
2. Hurt feelings.
3. Repulsive feeling toward a person at the thought or sight of him.
4. Retaining wounds and frequently talking about them.
5. Alienation of a person.
6. Verbal slander against the person.
7. Lack of obedience (ref Mt 5:44,45).
8. Becoming like the one you despise.

3-HOW
DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR HURT?

It is not wrong to feel hurt, but how you deal with it makes all the difference
in what happens to you!

A. Characteristics:
1. A bitter person cares very little for the person he is bitter
against.
2. He is very touchy.
3. Can be ungrateful.
4. Gives empty flattery and harsh criticism.
5. Holds grudges and finds it difficult to forgive.
6. He displays stubbornness or a sulky attitude.
7. Will help no one or complains sometimes when asked to help.
8. Experiences mood extremes—highs and lows.

B. Bitterness
keeps getting worse; it hurts not only the holder, but everyone in the
way.
1. Clean out the filing cabinet of your mind.
2. You are the one hurt most, because of what it does to you spiritually,
emotionally, and physically.

1. Spiritually:
An inability to love God. If we fail to forgive, we break the commandments of
loving God and forgiving one another.
2. Emotionally: Creates an emotional focus toward the one who hurt. This
focus results in us becoming just like the one we resent.

5-SCRIPTURAL
ANALYSIS OF UNFORGIVENESS

1.

The Lord’s Prayer:
Mt 6:12-AND FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS, AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS (or forgive
us just the way we forgive others).

2.

Mt 6:14,15-FOR
IF YOU FORGIVE MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO
FORGIVE YOU: BUT IF YE FORGIVE NOT MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, NEITHER WILL
YOUR FATHER FORGIVE YOUR TRESPASSES.

3.

Hinders
prayer since it is sin-Isa 59:2; 1 Pe 3:7.

4.

Jesus gives us
a parable, in Mt 18:21-35: JESUS SAITH UNTO HIM, I SAY NOT UNTO THEE,
UNTIL SEVEN TIMES: BUT, UNTIL SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN. THEREFORE IS THE
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN LIKENED UNTO A CERTAIN KING, WHICH WOULD TAKE ACCOUNT
OF HIS SERVANTS. AND WHEN HE HAD BEGUN TO RECKON, ONE WAS BROUGHT UNTO
HIM, WHICH OWED HIM TEN THOUSAND TALENTS. BUT FORASMUCH AS HE HAD NOT
TO PAY, HIS LORD COMMANDED HIM TO BE SOLD, AND HIS WIFE, AND CHILDREN,
AND ALL THAT HE HAD, AND PAYMENT TO BE MADE. THE SERVANT THEREFORE FELL
DOWN, AND WORSHIPPED HIM, SAYING, LORD, HAVE PATIENCE WITH ME, AND I
WILL PAY THEE ALL. THEN THE LORD OF THAT SERVANT WAS MOVED WITH COMPASSION,
AND LOOSED HIM, AND FORGAVE HIM THE DEBT. BUT THE SAME SERVANT WENT
OUT, AND FOUND ONE OF HIS FELLOW SERVANTS, WHICH OWED HIM AN HUNDRED
PENCE: AND HE LAID HANDS ON HIM, AND TOOK HIM BY THE THROAT, SAYING,
PAY ME THAT THOU OWEST. AND HIS FELLOW SERVANT FELL DOWN AT HIS FEET,
AND BESOUGHT HIM, SAYING, HAVE PATIENCE WITH ME, AND I WILL PAY THEE
ALL. AND HE WOULD NOT: BUT WENT AND CAST HIM INTO PRISON, TILL HE SHOULD
PAY THE DEBT. SO WHEN HIS FELLOW SERVANTS SAW WHAT WAS DONE, THEY WERE
VERY SORRY, AND CAME AND TOLD UNTO THEIR LORD ALL THAT WAS DONE. THEN
HIS LORD, AFTER THAT HE HAD CALLED HIM, SAID UNTO HIM, O THOU WICKED
SERVANT, I FORGAVE THEE ALL THAT DEBT, BECAUSE THOU DESIREDST ME: SHOULDEST
NOT THOU ALSO HAVE HAD COMPASSION ON THY FELLOW SERVANT, EVEN AS I HAD
PITY ON THEE? AND HIS LORD WAS WROTH, AND DELIVERED HIM TO THE TORMENTORS,
TILL HE SHOULD PAY ALL THAT WAS DUE UNTO HIM. SO LIKEWISE SHALL MY HEAVENLY
FATHER DO ALSO UNTO YOU, IF YE FROM YOUR HEARTS FORGIVE NOT EVERY ONE
HIS BROTHER THEIR TRESPASSES.

5.

Unforgiveness
retains the sins of my past, bringing them into my present state; if
left untreated, they will affect my future and relationship with others.
Jn 20:23-WHOSESOEVER SINS YE REMIT, THEY ARE REMITTED UNTO THEM; AND
WHOSESOEVER SINS YE RETAIN, THEY ARE RETAINED.

6.

It can
cause me to become a stumbling block.
Eph 6:4-AND, YE FATHERS, PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH: BUT BRING
THEM UP IN THE NURTURE AND ADMONITION OF THE LORD.
Eph 4:31-LET ALL BITTERNESS, AND WRATH, AND ANGER, AND CLAMOR, AND EVIL
SPEAKING, BE PUT AWAY FROM YOU, WITH ALL MALICE.

7.

It will
cause me to stray from the Lord and alienates me from the body of Christ.

8.

It causes
division in the body of Christ.
A. It brings about jealousy, envy, and strife.
B. It is a result of pride.

9.

It gives Satan
an advantage in our lives.
A. 2 Cor 2:7-11- Teaches us to forgive:
SO THAT CONTRARIWISE YE OUGHT RATHER TO FORGIVE HIM, AND COMFORT
HIM, LEST PERHAPS SUCH A ONE SHOULD BE

SWALLOWED UP
WITH OVERMUCH SORROW. WHEREFORE I BESEECH YOU THAT YE WOULD CONFIRM
YOUR LOVE TOWARD HIM. FOR TO THIS END ALSO DID I WRITE, THAT I MIGHT
KNOW THE PROOF OF YOU, WHETHER YE BE OBEDIENT IN ALL THINGS. TO WHOM
YE FORGIVE ANY THING, I FORGIVE ALSO: FOR IF I FORGAVE ANY THING, TO
WHOM I FORGAVE IT, FOR YOUR SAKES FORGAVE I IT IN THE PERSON OF CHRIST;
LEST SATAN SHOULD GET AN ADVANTAGE OF US: FOR WE ARE NOT IGNORANT OF
HIS DEVICES.

B.

Eph 4:26,27-BE
YE ANGRY, AND SIN NOT. LET NOT THE SUN GO DOWN UPON YOUR WRATH (or set
on your anger): NEITHER

GIVE PLACE
TO THE DEVIL (if you do, you give the devil opportunity to wreck your
life).

6-FORGIVENESS:
TO EXCUSE AN OFFENSE OR TO PASS OVER A FAULT WITHOUT DEMANDING PUNISHMENT

Forgiveness costs
you, because it bears the penalty of the other’s sin against you.

3.

Forgiveness is an
activity of the will. We cannot wait for a feeling before we forgive.

4.

Forgiveness is surrendering
my right to hurt you back if you hurt me.

5.

It is quiet and does
not make known to others-ref Pv 25:9.

6.

When we forgive,
we do not bring it up again-ref Isa 43:25; Ps 103:12.* Forgiveness draws
out the sting of the bee.* Discover the
economy of pardon instead of the expense of resentment:
forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred,
and
the waste of a hurt
spirit.

7-WHAT
IS MY PART IN FORGIVENESS?

1.
Even though, at this time, you may be unconscious of any unforgiveness,
realize God looks upon your heart.

A.

Pray: Ps 139:23-SEARCH
ME, O GOD,

AND KNOW MY HEART:

TRY ME,

AND KNOW MY THOUGHTS:

AND SEE IF THERE BE
ANY WICKED WAY IN ME (show me any hurtful ways).

B.

Ask God, by the Holy
Spirit, to search your heart and reveal hidden hurts or resentments that
may be buried.

C.

Confess your sin and
ask God to forgive you. You may find it necessary to go to someone to
make the forgiveness complete.

2.
Forgiveness will cost you your pride. You must go humbly.

8-HOW
TO STAY FREE OF UNFORGIVENESS

1.
Forsake being worldly.

2.
Ask the Lord to change your way of thinking:

A.

Be slow to take offense.

B.

Refuse hurt feelings.

C.

Pray for
anyone who despitefully uses you-ref Mt 5:44.

3.
Stay in the Word and nourish your spirit by reading and obeying the Word.

4.
Pray.

5.
Take action to forgive—the choice is yours. Do you have unforgiveness
toward?

A

parents

B.

yourself

C.

repressed anger toward
God

D.

a former mate (or
perhaps his family)

E.

those in authority
over us

F.

others - friends

6.
Practice the Scripture (be a doer of the Word):

A.

Mt 5:23,24-go to your
brother and be reconciled.

B.

Ro 12:19-21-don’t
take revenge, but let the Lord do it. Do good to your enemies; thus, heaping
coals of shame on their head.

Patience:
The capacity of calm endurance, tolerant understanding, forbearance, tolerance
of something or someone over a period of time—generally without complaint—though
not necessarily without annoyance.