Genesis 26

(26:1) "Isaac went unto Abimelech king of the Philistines"Isaac visits the king of the
Philistines "in the days of Abraham", yet the
Philistines didn't live in the region until around 1200 BCE (800 years after "the days of
Abraham").

(26:4) "I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven ... and in thy seed shall
all the nations of the earth be blessed."
God promises to make Isaac's descendents as numerous as "the stars of heaven", which, of course, never happened. The Jews
have always been, and will always be, a small minority. Will there be many Jews?

(26:7) "He said, She is my sister: for he feared to say, She is my wife; lest, said he, the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah;
because she was fair to look upon."
Isaac uses the same "she's my sister" lie that his father used so effectively with the Pharaoh and the same king Abimelech.
(Genesis 12:13, 20:2). And Isaac grew rich
from the lie, just like his father had. (You'd think Abimelech wouldn't fall for the same
stupid lie twice. But, hey, this is the Bible!)

(26:8) "Abimelech ... looked out at a window, and saw ... Isaac ... sporting with Rebekah."
The king looked out his window, and saw Isaac "sporting" with Rebekah.

26:1
And there was a famine in the land, beside the first famine that was in
the days of Abraham. And Isaac went unto Abimelech king of the Philistines
unto Gerar.

26:2And the LORD appeared unto him, and said, Go not down into Egypt; dwell in
the land which I shall tell thee of:

26:3
Sojourn in this land, and I will be with thee, and will bless thee; for
unto thee, and unto thy seed, I will give all these countries, and I will
perform the oath which I sware unto Abraham thy father;

26:4
And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give
unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;

26:7
And the men of the place asked him of his wife; and he said,
She is my sister:
for he feared to say, She is my wife; lest, said he, the men of the place
should kill me for Rebekah; because she was fair to look upon.

26:8
And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that
Abimelech king of the Philistineslooked out at
a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.

26:9
And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she is thy wife;
and how saidst thou, She is my sister? And Isaac said unto him, Because I
said, Lest I die for her.

26:10
And Abimelech said, What is this thou hast done unto us? one of the people
might lightly have lien with thy wife, and thou shouldest have brought
guiltiness upon us.

26:11
And Abimelech charged all his people, saying, He that toucheth this man or
his wife shall surely be put to death.

26:12
Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an
hundredfold: and the LORD blessed him.

26:13
And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very
great:

26:14For he had possession of flocks, and possession of herds, and great store
of servants:and the Philistines envied him.

26:15
For all the wells which his father's servants had digged in the days of
Abraham his father, the
Philistines had stopped them, and filled them with earth.

26:16
And Abimelech said unto Isaac, Go from us; for thou art much mightier than
we.

26:17
And Isaac departed thence, and pitched his tent in the valley of Gerar,
and dwelt there.

26:18
And Isaac digged again the wells of water, which they had digged in the
days of Abraham his father; for
the Philistines had stopped them after the
death of Abraham: and he called their names after the names by which his
father had called them.

26:19
And Isaac's servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of
springing water.

26:20
And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac's herdmen, saying, The
water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove
with him.

26:21
And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the
name of it Sitnah.

26:22
And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they
strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the
LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.

26:24And the LORD appeared unto him the same night, and said, I am the
God of Abraham thy father: fear not, for I am with thee, and will bless thee, and
multiply thy seed for my servant Abraham's sake.

Episode 10 of the OMGWTFBIBLE podcast. Contains chapters 13-17. In which Avraham has some more kids nobody cares about,
a stew gets going, and a plotline is recycled for the third time. Recorded live at Double Wide Bar on July 29, 2013. Guest: Ariel Abrahams