Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

whereupon to dine. What do you pretend by these
large conquests? What shall be the end of so
many labours and crosses? Thus it shall be, said
Picrochole, that when we are returned we shall sit
down, rest, and be merry. But, said Echephron,
if by chance you should never come back, for the voyage
is long and dangerous, were it not better for us to
take our rest now, than unnecessarily to expose ourselves
to so many dangers? O, said Swashbuckler, by
G—­, here is a good dotard; come, let us
go hide ourselves in the corner of a chimney, and
there spend the whole time of our life amongst ladies,
in threading of pearls, or spinning, like Sardanapalus.
He that nothing ventures hath neither horse nor mule,
says Solomon. He who adventureth too much, said
Echephron, loseth both horse and mule, answered Malchon.
Enough, said Picrochole, go forward. I fear
nothing but that these devilish legions of Grangousier,
whilst we are in Mesopotamia, will come on our backs
and charge up our rear. What course shall we
then take? What shall be our remedy? A
very good one, said Dirt-tail; a pretty little commission,
which you must send unto the Muscovites, shall bring
you into the field in an instant four hundred and
fifty thousand choice men of war. Oh that you
would but make me your lieutenant-general, I should
for the lightest faults of any inflict great punishments.
I fret, I charge, I strike, I take, I kill, I slay,
I play the devil. On, on, said Picrochole, make
haste, my lads, and let him that loves me follow me.

Chapter 1.XXXIV.

How Gargantua left the city of Paris to succour his
country, and how Gymnast encountered with the enemy.

In this same very hour Gargantua, who was gone out
of Paris as soon as he had read his father’s
letters, coming upon his great mare, had already passed
the Nunnery-bridge, himself, Ponocrates, Gymnast, and
Eudemon, who all three, the better to enable them
to go along with him, took post-horses. The
rest of his train came after him by even journeys at
a slower pace, bringing with them all his books and
philosophical instruments. As soon as he had
alighted at Parille, he was informed by a farmer of
Gouguet how Picrochole had fortified himself within
the rock Clermond, and had sent Captain Tripet with
a great army to set upon the wood of Vede and Vaugaudry,
and that they had already plundered the whole country,
not leaving cock nor hen, even as far as to the winepress
of Billard. These strange and almost incredible
news of the enormous abuses thus committed over all
the land, so affrighted Gargantua that he knew not
what to say nor do. But Ponocrates counselled
him to go unto the Lord of Vauguyon, who at all times
had been their friend and confederate, and that by
him they should be better advised in their business.
Which they did incontinently, and found him very
willing and fully resolved to assist them, and therefore
was of opinion that they should send some one of his