I thought I would start a new blog but I changed my mind. I will pick up where I left off. I have gone back to old things, old ways, and I need to look back and figure out what happened. This blog is mine and at times it might seem very RAW and I apologize if that offends. This has been a journal of mine that has proven to be a great source of strength. If it helps another, then that makes me feel even better.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Thoughts

As I sit here with a sleeping grandbaby in my one arm, I type with the other hand. While I was driving her Mom to work this morning I was thinking many things. One of them was "I could be out walking this early" but the other was how can I make sure this is permanent? I have been down the road of working my ass off to thin only to come to a dead stop and gain everything back. So how do I make sure this time is different? I have so much pain emotionally and I hate the hard work it takes to change. It feels as though fear, past hurt and emotions weigh as much as fat does. I walk up hills I would rather not but I have to. I'd just assume give up some days because it's hard but it is reflective of life. Some of those hills I trudge up literally and I want to stop, thumb a ride. LOL It doesn't work that way though. I have to get up it on my own. So I guess every time I walk I am climbing my own metaphor. Prayer is in my heart that I will keep fighting, and keep climbing. When those stop signs come and I know they will, I just have to look both ways and cross safely and keep moving. These little toes want a healthy Grandma. I want a healthy me and some freedom from a body that traps me emotionally and physically.

No comments:

About Me

My name is Amy and I am the proud mother of 4 amazing children and a beautiful granddaughter. I have the most amazing husband in the world who is my rock and the greatest support to me. Writing, Dancing, Singing, Canning, Gardening and Baking are some of my great loves. Shopping at thrift stores and discovering hidden treasures gives me great thrills. My life is not perfect, nor am I but I love what I have. Pick me up, drop me any place in the world and I will find good there...there is always something good there...I believe that anyway.