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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Feeling Unwanted

This is not about my spouse or other family members. No, I feel wanted by them. This is a venting of my feelings about my doctors right this minute. Specifically the staff at the Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility clinic (REI clinic); well actually about a particular nurse, Nurse J.

I was in terrible pain last night. I was bent over in pain. I was bent over and limping trying to walk as the pain radiated from my pelvis down to my right knee. Then the left ovary decided to compete with the right ovary and caused my left thigh to ache down to the knee. No I didn't want to go to the ER and get poked by doctors that had no clue especially with the speculum insertion as I try to tell them my uterus is retroverted and they ignore me. Why they feel that is necessary after I tell them that its my cysts I don't know. But they don't listen so I'm not going to ER unless its absolutely necessary.

I called my REI clinic this morning and actually got to speak to a live person after only pushing one button for the extension. Amazing. I could hear Nurse J eating. I was a tad sarcastic I have to admit when I said, "oh wow I got a live person!". I was laughing and she wasn't. Personality absent any one? I guess she's never had to wait and wait and wait and only talk to an automated system before in her life.

Well Nurse J and I talked about my pain last night.

She said, "I don't know who is there today."

I said, "I'm willing to wait until this afternoon.".

She says, "Dr. C. will be here in the afternoon."

Funny how she had no clue who would be on today. Okay, um little peeved at that lie.

She says, "Dr. C. will be in an IVF class all afternoon."

B.S. I'm thinking.

I said, "I've taken the IVF classes before and I do remember how long they take.".

( Its only 30 minutes tops with the doctor in the room after the nurse gives her lecture of which the doctor isn't even present for. So with the 8 couples he'll be counseling afterward maybe another 80 minutes tops for all of them. I figure about 2 hours of his time.) I didn't state this so I'm questioning why he can't still see me for just the 10 minutes he normally spends with me. Oh and where the hell are the other three RE doctors? I'm thinking all this and not stating it.

I can understand one or two of them not being there but that is such B.S. from Nurse J's mouth. When they are doing the IVF classes they always have another RE doctor covering the appointments and emergency call in appointments. I'm not that stupid.

So here I sit and wait in major pain. Oh and I've gained another 0.4 lbs making it an even 15 I've now gained since January's IVF, almost 5 lbs of which I've gained alone in the past three weeks from bloat in my pelvis. Its CD20, 16DPO. But really I guess I'm okay to them. If only I could make them feel what I feel.

There is my vent/rant/anger spewing. Thanks for reading this far down.

I hear you about not wanting to go to the ER. I suppose they are helpful if they can see that there is a piece of windshield sticking out of your chest...but otherwise you spend more time trying to explain to them what the issue is.

I hope that your doctor is at least somewhat attentive and that you get an ultrasound.

I am so sorry! Sometimes I feel like only nurses who have been through the hell we have should be allowed to work at REI offices! Not much fun to be in pain, beg for an appointment and then deal with condescension. Big hugs and I hope they can help you and the pain lessens soon.