.....what I write when I am not writing software codes. Almost as illogical.

Monday, June 6, 2016

A Midsummer Day's post.

Apart
from the sweltering heat that is dry roasting us during the day, there has been
no other hot news from my side over the month. Like fasting is followed in some
religions so that the rich realizes the pain of hunger and poverty, summer is here
to make us realize the pain of air-fried potato wedges.

In
other news, appraisals are coming soon but from the work front, the only part
of me that is working overtime is my sweat glands. Had Shakespeare been in the
Middle East he wouldn’t dare think about venturing into the comedy genre and
label it ‘A Midsummer night’s dream’. I mean you don’t get any dreams on
midsummer nights, my friend. There is an AC and fan too, but the hard hitting
reality strikes on such nights that nothing, NOTHING can cool you down. Oh and
the incessant worry that the washing machine is about to breathe its last.

The
last thing you want broken in this time of the year is the washing machine. You
may have guessed air conditioner, but that is wrong. I can explain. Chances
that four air conditioners will go on strike at the same time are very less.
However washing machine is only one. If you have to clean, feed and change its diapers
three times a day, even that is fine as long as it works. There are just three
of us in this house and the number of clothes in the laundry bin is greater
than or equal to the total number of clothes in the wardrobe. Despite all that,
the males in the house have to wear socks, even when the reality is literally
burning under their feet.

In
the Middle East there are two types of people. People who have air conditioners
in their kitchen, and people who don’t. This
makes a hell of a difference because more cooking happens only in no-AC
kitchens. For example on a typically hot day you walk into the kitchen and start
the stove, there are two things that get cooked. One is the thing on the stove
and the other is you. In case of red meat which takes more time, then you get
cooked faster than it does. This does not benefit anyone though. Well, benefit
is not a word one uses in Middle Eastern summer.

Another
discovery I made in the recent times is that kids get hyper active during summers
as if they got recharged from solar energy. Of course I happen to be one of
those adults who supervise this downright mean activity of outdoor play every
evening out of helplessness. This ritual is rightfully named as the ‘melt hour’.
In addition to the misery, the sun just burns our skin and sanity; it has
chosen not to burn any calories.

Also
in summers as the water from the taps are only a few degrees away from boiling
point, the vessels and cutlery are sterilized when they are washed. As for us
humans we don’t have to drive to the gym to get a steam bath. It is available
right here in the ‘comfort’ (lol) of our homes. Mild cries have been overheard
outside restrooms during midday, due to nature’s untimely call, if you know
what I mean. Suryanamaskaar in this time of the year has a whole other meaning,
which is begging the Sun to spare us from this horrific episode called summer. When
it is not summer, we do not know what Suryanamaskaar is. This fiery catastrophe
is expected to continue till September.

If
you happen to have any enemies living in the Middle East, this is your time to
party.

Gurgaon is so humid this time of the year, I've started resembling a constantly dripping shower head. My hair does Yoga all day and stands on its end and my face hasn't looked normal in a long long time.