surfergirl - well that's good that you are having a close to maintenance day. I think you are much ahead of me in that you have spent a fair amount of time not dieting before and that you don't have a hard time not restricting. For me it is all so foreign. My first days transitioning were not great either because everytime I tried eating a banned food I ate way too much of it. I think because you never had forbidden food it would make things easier.

You know, regarding how you gained weight before while not dieting, maybe what you can do is try making your environment encouraging to healthy eating (which you probably do anyway just thought I'd mention it). Like I'm not going to my particular friends house much now because everytime he pulls out the chips. I will not tell myself now I can't have anything if I want it, and because this is all so new to me I expect I will still overeat these things quite alot, so it's better for me just to not go there so often for the time being. I read an interesting article on long lasting weight loss and it said that willpower wasn't a good predictor of it (like what people have to rely on when dieting), and that the most powerful thing linked to weight loss was behavioural change like going out for dinner less or scheduling an activitiy during a time that someone is most likely to overeat. Those things don't require any kind of restraint or diet mentality.

Also, I think it really makes sense for you to have set mealtimes. I have been helped alot lately by different eating disorder websites and they pretty much all advocate set mealtimes in the beginning for that very reason of getting your bodys signals working again. I also read a recovery story from someone who struggled with bulimia for many years (I really relate to this disorder because my disorder is cyclical in nature where my restrictions are so so extreme) and she wrote that the key for her recovery was learning intuitive eating.

Anyhow, just hoping it goes well for you. I always write more than I need to and forget alot of the time that alot of people on this forum arn't nearly as disordered as I am and I am sure I tell them things they already know. Alot of what I write is to help me and get my thoughts out as well as hoping it might give someone an idea who is struggling that maybe they hadn't considered.

Thanks for your thoughts, i really appreciate the feedback!! I would not so much think of me as being ahead of you...the way i see it, you were more successful at dieting (which is why you don't weigh 162 like i do) and that's why you're having a harder time transitioning into non-dieting. I think it will take you a while longer to normalize your eating patterns...i hope you will be patient and just not worry about it.

I agree with you that developing good eating habits (so that they are a habit, not a restriction) will be good. In that way, i am trying to think of my past dieting efforts as not a waste of time, but a learning experience. However, i don't think you should avoid going to your friend's house (or going ANYWHERE for that matter) because of the food that will be present there. At least for me, that is precisely the type of behavior that i am trying to get rid of. I have spent sooo much time being antisocial, avoiding certain situations, places, events, because i was afraid of the food that would be there. I never want to do that again. I want to live my life free of the fear of food.

I'm glad to hear you think the set mealtimes is a good idea! That seems like such a basic thing, but somehow we throw all that out the window when we start dieting (i.e. "six small meals a day", "intermittent fasting", blah blah blah). Also...i should admit that although i stated in an earlier post that i don't eat emotionally, i DO snack/overeat mindlessly during the workday (or, i used to). When faced with an unpleasant task that i don't feel like doing, i'll eat a snack (a LARGE snack, i'm not talking about a couple of baby carrots here) in order to avoid it. So, hopefully the structured mealtimes will help with that.

__________________
Trying Intuitive Eating! Want to be happier and have a healthy relationship with food