Thank you. It does seem to depend on the physical therapist whether or not they like having the spouse there. Yesterday, I definitely got the feeling she was not happy having me there. I also came to the conclusion that he will try less. Hubby and I had a conversation this afternoon about his "goals," that are non-negotiable from my perspective, that will allow him to move back home. I've been looking at my teeny, tiny house and unless we remove a couple of walls around the bathroom area, I cannot get him in there even if we could get a Hoyer Lift!

My husband has spent the last 10 years sitting in his chair in the living room. He received a kidney transplant in 2008 that was very successful. But he just never had gotten into his hobbies after that. He complained that everything hurt, he didn't want to spend "all his time exercising.". I know he is depressed but doesn't want help. He's allowed himself to get so physically weak that unless he gets strong enough to move his body himself, I will not allow him to come home for me to wait on him. Wow . Just wow.

My step dad has been in hospital for a month now. He is on Palliative care and Mum will not have him back home. She cannot physically or mentally manage caring for him 24/7.

But she does go to the hospital 2 times a day, in the morning she brings him homemade porridge and feeds him as much as he wants to eat. She returns in the evening and helps him to eat the provided dinner. It is wearing her out and I plan to take her out for a day in a couple weeks. She needs a break.

We are lucky the the hospital is less than 5 minutes from her home.

If you stay away , do you think your hubby will do the work he needs to do? Could that motivate him? Knowing that you will not bring him home unless he can do x,y and z for himself?

I can only tell you what I did. I was at the rehab facility every day from morning until night. That is because I was so worried and wanted to be involved with her rehab. It was tough going home at night. She wanted to go home very badly but I needed her to stay and get better.She has dementia with aphasia. She had trouble eating and complying with the therapists. But in the end it was worth it to me.When she went in she could not stand let alone walk. When she left she used a walker until she got home. She no longer needed it.I helped her eat, go to the bath room, took her on tours of the place and held her hand.In my opinion you should spend whatever amount of time you feel comfortable with. If you could give us a little more information on him and you it might help the others with some guide lines. And don't forget the Teepa Snow videos.

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