'The importance of saying NO to others to save your mummy sanity'

Why is a two letter word, NO, so very difficult to say and use? And yet, the direct opposite, YES, just three letters, is so easy to say and use.

As I've gotten older, I've realised the importance of saying and using the word, 'NO'. It's so very much easier to say yes to someone in relation to just about anything as to say no might cause offence. But I've discovered that with maturity (as opposed to calling myself old at 48) I've discovered the liberating effect of saying no.

As a busy Mum to three boys for many years, I really didn't have time to be running errands for other parents or indeed for my own family members. But to say 'no' when asked to do something just seemed rude. So over the years, I stressed myself out, pretended my days were 26 hours in length and just kept going. When asked if I might help out here, there, wherever, I always tried to accommodate. Isn't that the done thing?

It certainly was back then? But now whilst running my own business, a home and with a teenage student still living at home, life does get quite busy at times. It's busy now in a different way, but it's still busy. Learning how to say No has been one of the hardest lessons I've undertaken. But it's a lesson well worth taking.

If I don't have time to help a friend out, I say so. If I can't be there for my parents I say so. And if I can't run my youngest son to his required destination, I say so. Sometimes it's important to refuse to help too. Does this make me a bad person? I certainly hope not.

Whilst talking with a friend this morning we were discussing the busy life parents live in the modern world. Children have such a variety of activities after school and on weekends that it's near impossible to get time to oneself. But one needs that 'me' time. So saying No is a necessity to a Mum's life. Saying No will allow you that 'me' time.

It's all sounds very simple in theory, but putting the ability to say 'no' into practice, is something that doesn't come easy. I know. It took me many years to learn how to do just that.

Saying No really is liberating. Why not try for yourself. You might just be surprised.

Mother of 3 grown up sons. Wife of one. Freelance Writer, English Tutor and Children's Creative Writing facilitator. Parenting is a continual learning process and one in which we're never fully qualified. Sometimes the bigger children test us more than the little ones. I'm still enjoying my parenting journey and even the role reversal which kicks in nowadays - yes, the big kids do the parenting every now and then.

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