Tag Archives: Humor

As you may have noticed, my most recent “shipping date” came and went like a ship in the night and with nary a whisper of publication (Sorry!). But today, my friends, I am writing you to say that Armed & Delicious, the book which you have supported, is in print-production as we speak!

The e-book version is also in the publication phase and will soon be available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble online and the Apple Ibook store.

This means that within the next 7-10 business days I should be receiving your books in the mail and shipping them directly! The additional reward goodies have already been coming in and I couldn’t be more pleased with how they’ve turned out.

As always, feel free to contact me at armedanddelicious@gmail.com with questions, concerns and sonnets.

For anyone setting out to launch a Kickstarter.com campaign, making a video presentation for the project is a considered a must. Now, browsing various campaigns, I’ve seen a fair share of video presentations; some good, some not so good and some that just about violated my inner child.

While a well-developed, and innovative product should be enough to inspire the generosity of strangers, I believe that a well-executed video is to one’s Kickstarter campaign, as a fine champagne (Not Cristal. Apparently dude is racist) is to a hip-hopping video – it makes it that much better.

On the website itself, the fine folks of Kickstarter.com make a number of helpful suggestions as to what might make your video more enjoyable and/or informative to the viewer. What they DO NOT suggest however, is riding your bicycle to a friends house the evening before, getting drunk on red wine and playing card games till midnight. (Thanks Elise)

That’s a little rule I made myself and only recommend if you enjoy speaking to a camera at 7am while your head feels like Dionysus just took a sock full of quarters to it.

A screen grab of how NOT to look or feel while making your video.

Pre-gaming for a video shoot should consist mainly of non-alchoholic refreshments.

When asking for favors there’s a general rule of thumb: pay it back or forward – or side to side.

I’m not saying you need to pay your neighbor money for feeding your cat, dog or kangaroo every time you leave for business, vacation or tax evasion puposes, but one should make it a point to return the favor.

They’ve got a pet goldfish? Offer to babysit it some time. You’re allergic to goldfish? (no idea how that works) Offer to collect their mail while they’re out-of-town. Do not go through it. You have enough credit cards already.

Favors are what makes the world go round. The Godfather figured that out a long time ago in fictional 1930’s New York. It’s simple, you scratch my back, I scratch yours. It’s a win-win etc. Throughout my years of needing something from someone, I discovered that when asking for a favor, one should make a conscious decision beforehand that they would (without hesitation) be willing to perform a favor of equal or lesser value in return. It’s the best way to do things.

I rarely ask favors of strangers but as I set out to publish my book, I’ll be asking for a lot of favors… approximately 4,500 of them. Fortunately for me, I have something to offer in return, which you’ll just have to wait patiently to see.

This is my favor asking face:

Judging by the dispondency in my eyes and the presence of a female, I can only assume the favor in this case is sex.

Until the Armed & Delicious Campaign is in full swing, there is no word to describe the gratitude (besides gratitude) which I am feeling for the lovely people who are doing me favors as we speak, to help get this Kickstarter going. I consider them all friends and know that without a doubt, I’ll be owing a few favors before this thing is through.

In fact, I’m looking forward to it and am definitely not allergic to goldfish.

Unlike the delightful morsels one might find in the frozen food section of a neighborhood Costco, the free sample I’m talking about is of the “pages and binding” sort… a book. I got a book sample.

Now, this isn’t my book, but when I requested a sample in order to determine the kind and quality of the material my future printer in New Jersey would be using, this is what I got. It’s a win-win really, considering that not only am I satisfied by the quality of their product, but I now have the opportunity to read about an important moment in our nation’s educational history.

Just look at the guys on the cover. Judging by the looks on their faces, I’d say that whatever it was they’re staring at behind the photographer is making them pretty happy. Happy like a politician who just passed the Mississippi Education Reform Act of 1982? Yes. Nailed it!

All and all, I think the printer’s choice of materials will be more than sufficient if Armed & Delicious finds funding in the coming months. Good job to you too, guys!