07.25 @ 10:07am
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07.23 @ 6:13pm
In preparation for the move, all active Coming Out Ball threads have been moved to The Past forum.

07.21 @ 12:07pm
Just a reminder that we are moving in 5 days! If this is news to you, read up on it here! Posting Wizard signups for August are now open!

07.15 @ 11:19pm
The deactivations for the July activity check have been completed with list cleanup underway; for reactivations, please post in Maintenence.

Cash had achieved a nice sort of non-depression since he and Eli had become friends again. He wasn't writing depressing letters. He hadn't entertained thoughts of telling people he loved the secret regardless of the consequences. He hadn't dove headfirst back into a bottle of firewhiskey. He wasn't obsessing over something just to keep himself occupied - unless one counted Quidditch, which Cash wasn't because their final game was in a few weeks and if they had a season composed entirely of losses he was going to crawl under a nice big boulder and never come out.

He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Being relatively emotionally stable was fucking unnerving, and he was quickly descending into paranoia because nothing was totally wrong. He was in love with his friend, but that was better than being in love with someone who was ignoring him. He still wasn't talking about Russia to anyone but he also didn't want to. Tiberius wasn't back in town, he hadn't spontaneously combusted, and their Quidditch record for the season hadn't somehow gotten worse on him.

Nothing was wrong and Cash was certain that something had to be, because something always was. He just didn't know what.

Ignoring his increasing sense of paranoia was Cash's new favorite hobby. He speed-walked down the hallway with a mystery book under his arm because hiding in the stacks of the library and reading to avoid his problems was another of his favorite hobbies. He would have been perfectly content to head down there and not speak to anyone until he decided to emerge and either socialize or do his homework, but then he rounded a corner and saw his favorite (or second favorite, Cash was never sure how the Pendergasts ranked) in the hallway.

"Will!" he exclaimed, speeding up even more for a few seconds so that he could walk next to his cousin. "Where're you headed?"

Will was beginning to mourn the absence of his best friend (or, to be more precise, his ex-best friend/rigmarole fancy), Emmaline Vance. Since her departure from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade Hogsmeade due to a brain injury she had received when she had failed to quickly skedaddle out of the bludger’s way in last February, Will felt a trifle lost. It was not that he didn’t have many friends because he was aware that he had a good number of them, but Emma had known him rather well - perhaps even more so than his siblings or cousins have ever known about him. In her, he had confided his deepest secrets and feelings to, and now she was not even there to give him her reasonable words of wisdom or even just light up his world up with her natural beauty.

Since February, Will has attempted to keep his thoughts about Emma to a minimum by distracting himself with thoughts of the future, and what it might bring. For example, what kind of career path he desired to follow. Of course, as any young man with a good upbringing as he would agree on, it would be that a career within the Ministry would be an ideal path to follow because it both paid well and was a respectable occupation. However, Will was also interested in the idea of becoming a Healer for Hogsmeade Hospital, which was another respectable occupation, except that that it was less prestigious than a Ministry career. There was also the need to ensure that his parents approved of his chosen career choice. In the past, his parents sniffed disdainfully at his mentioning of a career in music, but now that he was much more mature and a lot more wiser with a betrothed to consider, he supposed that he must now choose his career wisely. He did not much appreciate being betrothed, but that did not necessarily mean that he disliked his betrothed (in fact, he actually found her to be somewhat intriguing, in both appearance and manners); in a way, a part of himself desired to ensure that when they were to marry, Tullia would settle quite comfortably into her new role as his wife.

Despite the whirligig of upcoming events (preparations for N.E.W.Ts, examinations, graduation, The Coming Out Ball, etc.), Will’s life at present was rather peaceful and ruckus-free.. He attended Quidditch practices three times a week (despite the fact that the Hufflepuff game season was over since February), devotedly studied his arse off, socialized with those who wished to speak to him, created a number of new poems to record in his poetry journal, and did his Prefect duties along with Miss Ada Flamel, whom he realized with a sudden sadness he would not see much of after the Coming Out Ball - he quite enjoyed her company the last two years since they had been elected as Prefects for their house, and he also found a good friend in her.

Change is approaching..., Will thought to himself as he strolled down the corridor, having just come out of the library with a thick volume upon Goblin Wars for his History of Magic essay. Certainly, change was a wonderful and interesting thing in his opinion, but too much change could leave a person feeling vulnerable and lost. Will knew for sure that he would not become unstable, but rather he would embrace it and take full advantage of it because he was adventurer, willing to take risks but being wise in doing so.

Suddenly, Will’s emotional reflections upon the subject of change was kerfuffled when he heard a very familiar voice call out his name, to which he spinned around with a genuine smile upon his face when he recognized whom the voice had belonged to. Cassius Lestrange, his maternal cousin on his mother’s side, who was interestingly enough, the elder brother of his betrothed, Tullia. The two boys had never been particularly close, but they did seem to prefer one another’s company during the long and tedious hours of family gatherings (well, Will was certain that perhaps Cash preferred his younger sister over him, but he understood the reason why, and often just accepted this fact - Ellory was perhaps the only one of his sisters that he actually felt comfortable around). Their bond seemed to have grown after their had gotten wasted at the Minister’s wedding the previous July, and acted like complete fools for the duration of the wedding reception. To say the least, their mothers were not too pleased - or at least his mother wasn’t. He wasn’t certain about Cash’s mother.

“Hello, Cash,” he said brightly, “Been some time since we’ve last spoken, yeah?” Then he added, “I was just about to return to my dorm to begin a History of Magic essay on Goblin Wars, but other than that, nowhere in particular. You?”

"Yeah," Cash said. He wasn't sure whose fault that was, or really if it was anyone's fault. Sometimes people just got busy, and Cash had certainly gotten busy lately. He was willing to bet that NEWT's were occupying Will's life. Especially if his cousin was anything like the Ravenclaw seventh years, who were almost comically obsessive over such things.

Cash doubted he would find it as hilarious next year. But that wasn't his problem, not yet, and at this point he was mostly just occupied with trying to survive sixth year. Let alone NEWTs. Not to mention, thinking about NEWTs meant thinking about a career and life after Hogwarts and being an adult. Cash was still very hesitant about turning seventeen in May, and when he had a year left of school that only made it noteworthy because he could legally perform magic outside of Hogwarts!

(As someone that lived in an all-wizard household, Cash had been bending the rules a tiny bit for years anyways because the Trace was not so specialized that they could catch him. But turning seventeen would make it official, and meant that he could perform magic outside of the Lestrange house without bothering to worry even the tiniest bit.)

"You take NEWT level History of Magic?" Cash said, not sure whether to be impressed or horrified. He had found History of Magic to be a bit dull, and it had actually been his lowest OWL grade - lower even than Transfiguration - but to be fair, he had always known he was going to drop it and had not really invested much effort in studying for that OWL anyways.

If Will wanted to learn more about goblin wars, though, Cash supposed that that was not really any of his business. He just couldn't find the energy to care about the short little creatures.

Cash supposed that anything involving work with goblins could go on his list of 'Ministry departments I should not join under any circumstances, ever,' unless he had a sudden urge to get screamed at in gobbledygook.

"I was just heading to the Library," he said with a grin, "Not to work, but to read." Cash brandished his novel. "I might be procrastinating, I'll admit it."

He was, at least, very aware of that flaw of his.

"If you don't mind, we can go to the library and I can do actual work and you can do your essay? And we can catch up. I promise not to distract you too much," Cash said, grinning playfully. It helped that he was of the opinion that the library fostered schoolwork better than any common room could, although he was aware that not all shared his opinion - and seeing as he sometimes used hiding in the stacks as a way to avoid schoolwork, Cash was not sure that his hypothesis was correct.

Cash’s response caused Will to become a trifle concerned. Since his meeting with Judy Hatchitt the month before, he became aware that his cousin and his friends were enduring difficult times, but rather than directly approach Cash and demand what was going on, Will decided that if - when Cash desired to share his troubles, he would and Will would listen as any supportive family member ought. However, Will also internally chided himself for being so insensitive as to mention their lack of communication. Obviously Cash was aware of this, so there really was no absolute reason for Will to shove that into his face. “Sorry,” he muttered apologetically, unable to control the urge to apologize.

“It’s for show,” Will laughed, quite amused at his cousin’s dumbfounded expression upon his face, “The more N.E.W.T classes you take, the more impressed influential people such as Ministry Head of Departments will be - or so my Head of House has stressed to me the year before. Trust me, I’m just as fatigued of Goblin Wars as you are.” He smiled at Cash, quite glad that the previous awkwardness between them seemed to have lifted. “However, now that I think about it,” he continued in a thoughtful manner, “It is a very useless N.E.W.T credit; too late now, though.”

To be quite honest, if Will had not been pressured to do well in life as well as feel as if it was his obligation to do well, he was certain that he would care less about his studies and focus upon his writings and his music instead. If he was born into any other less influential Upper Class family or even a Middle Class family, Will was certain that would’ve made music and writing books his profession, but life seemed to have other plans for him such as being born the second son into twoinfluential families with his Lestrange side being slightly more above the Pendergast lineage - thus, Will was expected to please his family by deciding upon a respectable career choice in order to support his betrothed as well as keep the Pendergast reputation from sinking (Linaeve’s elopment with a lower class man, for example).

“If this wasn’t N.E.W.Ts I am preparing for, I would procrastinate with you but...yeah,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as he gestured towards the direction of the library, indicating that he would, indeed, like some company. He was mostly interested in catching up with his cousin than doing any actual work, though; it was so seldom that the two ever really spoken outside society functions and family socials.

"What Ministry department are you going for?" Cash asked curiously. He himself had not decided what his career would be - oh, he knew that it would be in the Ministry of Magic, but he did not have enough direction to have any idea where.

He just knew that he could notwork anywhere that required portkey use, because Cash fucking hated portkeys. They were unpleasant and whirly and every time he used one he felt like vomiting. As Cash could not see them growing on him any time soon, he was determined to hang on to his vehement hatred for as long as possible.

"I can come with you," Cash said cheerfully, "I promise not to distract you too much. And if I get too inconvenient just tell me to go read my book, I won't be offended." He really wouldn't. So many of the seventh year Ravenclaws seemed to be devolving into varying levels of madness because of their NEWT exams; and this was compared even to regular Ravenclaws, who were by no means the most stable of people around exam time. Hell, when Cash remembered studying for OWLs, most of what he remembered was exponentially increasing panic.

It was rare that he had the opportunity to talk to his second favorite cousin, though, so Cash was willing to risk bothering Will a little if granted the opportunity. Next year he would probably start only seeing Will at family functions. The thought was more than a little sobering.

Hell, next year Cash would hardly see Valeria. That was just depressing, though, so he decided not to think about that. (Thinking about being seventeen was just plain unnerving, so he decided not to pay that any thought at all. It wasn't that Cash meant to avoid thinking about this particularly anxiety until the last minute, it was just that he had so much more to think about.)

“I honestly haven’t a clue,” William honestly answered his cousin in a subdued manner, “but most likely the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I will most likely become an intern after school ends.” Will slightly shrugged. To be honest, a career within the Ministry would not be his first choice, but it was a respectable career that paid well (and Merlin knew he needed the money), so he supposed that he should not complain overmuch. Besides, this career would keep his mother and father happy, and he would not have to endure their persistent nagging that he do something worthwhile with his life. Little did his parents know, however, that his view of a worthwhile life differed greatly from their view.

“I assure you that you shall not be a nuisance at all,” Will said genuity and a slight chuckle at his cousin’s earnestness in wanting to join him. Obviously the Ravenclaw desired an escape from all the exam madness, and Will would be more than happy to oblige him. After he spoke, Will continued to walking in the direction of the library, his mind temporarily occupied by the memories of when he had been in a similar exam panic when he had been a fifth year. O.W.Ls had been nervewrecking; the professors constantly stressed the importance of doing well upon those exams, which only seemed to make Will’s confidence in his intellectual abilities sink. His best friend, Emma, had been be so stressed about the exams that she literally had a breakdown a few weeks before O.W.Ls, and had been hospitalized for a week to be monitored. All chaos aside, however, exam times were definitely not his favorite of times.

As he continued walking, Will decided that the silence must be broken and took it upon himself to address his cousin, “So Cash, how has life been?” Will turned his head to face Cash, his forest-green eyes scrutinizing the Ravenclaw’s face for any sign of distress.

"Magical Law Enforcement?" Cash echoed, "Oh, that sounds like an interesting one." Cassius wasn't sure if it suited him - it was all very serious, after all, and on top of that he didn't know if he had the grades for it. He'd have to investigate further.

But that was the sort of thing that could wait until he crossed the threshold of seventeen.

Cash grinned. "Life's been fine," he lied. Life had most certainly not been fine - he had had a horrible winter, and even now he had not entirely bounced back from that. He wasn't sure if he ever would, wasn't sure if he and Eli's relationship would ever be recovered, had no idea what he would do if - or when - he saw Tiberius again...

But he couldn't explain all that to Will, not without damning himself to a world of consequences he could only begin to predict, so 'fine' would have to suffice. Once he had considered telling Ellory on a whim, and let the consequences happen because at least then they would be out of his hands - but Cash was in a better place now, and even then he had known that was a bad idea.

"And in case you were wondering - I am not in love with Miss Angie Sinnet. She's just my friend," Cash added as an afterthought. Angie was not just anything, of course, but he was definitely not romantically interested in her.

Will once again shrugged in response to Cash’s inquiry about the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Indeed, it was not a department he was particularly interested in, but he supposed that it was better than being completely undecided on what he wanted to do for his future. According to the letter he had received from his mother a week previous, she seemed rather approving of the direction he was deciding to take, and had even went so far as the to proud of him for considering his future so seriously, especially when it came to the well-being of his betrothed. “Interesting?,” Will laughed, unable to keep the amusement out of his tone, “Honestly Cash, can you envision me as a lawyer, or perhaps even a Auror? I cannot see myself committing to such occupations, but it is a direction to consider nonetheless, which is infinitely better than admitting that I have no direction at all.”

Will noted with some dissatisfaction that Cash’s attempt at a smile was rather forced, which only lead him to suspect that his cousin was lying about how well his life was proceeding. However, once again, Will decided that he would not pry. If Cash desired to admit some of the distress he was in, Will would be there to listen; at that moment, however, it did not even remotely seem as if Cash desired to confess anything at all. Rather, Will gathered that perhaps his cousin was just searching for a distraction, and Cash seemed to have caught sight of him at the right time. “Well, good,” Will said after a moment out of politeness, “I am happy that life has been treating you well.”

As the two cousins neared the library, their footsteps echoing with each step they took, Cash decided to confess something that caused Will to gaze at him in confusion. Of course he had heard the rumors of his cousin and a young woman by the name of Miss Sinnet, but he had not automatically assume that there was anything romantic between them. Will knew better than most that it was quite possible for a man to be good friends with a woman - his friendships with Adamina, Emmaline, Judy, and Charlotte were perfect indications that such friendships existed - and figured that that might have been the case with Cash and his lady friend. Well, he seemed to have assumed correctly. “I assumed as much,” Will responded after the shock of Cash unexpectedly bringing up such a random topic diminished. “Contrary to what society might perceive it as, I believe that every man needs a good woman in his life. Sometimes the wisdom of a woman is all a man needs to find his direction again, or perhaps even himself.” Walking backwards in order to face his cousin, he continued, “What I am attempting to say is: don’t be concerned with what society or your family thinks if Miss Sinnet is, indeed, helping you determine something.”

Will continued to knowingly stare at Cash as if implying that he was aware that his cousin was currently enduring distress, but he was not for certain what was causing him such distress, before turning back around to properly walk, letting his next words diffuse the tensioned silence in which the two found themselves in. “Life has been progressing rather well. N.E.W.Ts are certainly pressuring, but it is nothing I cannot handle. However, what with my classes and Prefect duties, it is a little difficult to find study time to prepare for them, which is concerning, but I shall state again that it is nothing I cannot handle; the same situation occurred in fifth year for O.W.Ls.”

“Also,” he added as an afterthought, “I have finally managed to have a proper conversation with your sister, Tullia. I have come to the conclusion that she deserves someone more worthy of her time and energy - she is far too graceful and intelligent to deserve the misery I believe our union could likely bring.”

Cash needed Angie - not in any way other than to be his best friend, and she had been doing a remarkably good job of that since they had become friends. He wasn't sure what to think of Will's little theory hell, he wasn't sure if it meant that Will thought that Cash and Angie were in love or what. But he decided to take his cousin's lack of judgement as the blessing it was. Will was a good friend, too - maybe Cash didn't understand some of what his cousin thought, but Will had always been a good cousin. Probably better than Cassius deserved.

"N.E.W.T.S sound absolutely terrifying, I must admit," Cash said, "Of course, if I lived through O.W.Ls, I imagine I'll be able to handle it when the time comes. I do wish you the best of luck, though." Cash wondered if some of his fear had to do with the environment in Ravenclaw tower - academics were more important than anything in the eagle's house, and while not everyone in Ravenclaw tower was incredibly academic, they had all been sorted into Ravenclaw because knowledge was something they valued, and obviously it played quite a bit into the culture of Ravenclaw.

Of course, as O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts helped to determine a young wizard's entire future, Cash supposed that everyone in the castle thought them quite the ordeal.

He was distracted from his little mental tirade by Will's next words.

Cash gaped for a few seconds, entirely unsure of what to say. "Misery?" he asked, "How so?"

The fact that his baby sister's betrothed thought he would make her unhappy was incredibly alarming - but in this little conversation of theirs, he was more Will's cousin and friend than Tullia's brother. He could worry about his sister after he found out what Will was so worried about.

How horrible could it be? At least Will was not attracted to men rather than women - although Cash supposed that he couldn't know that. Maybe that was what Will was talking about... or maybe it was something else. All Cash could do was hope that Will would tell him the truth, now that he had asked. (Did he want to know if his cousin was the same as he was? More importantly, did he want Will knowing about him? Cash knew that the answer to the second question was certainly 'no,' but his curiosity was piqued.)

He almost hoped that Will's problem was something else.

"It certainly can't be worse than how my marriage to Miss Kayline will play out," Cash added, "Did I tell you that her name was Kayline, not Faline? Yeah." That had almost definitely made it to Cash's list of 'most awkward things I have ever experienced', although he was not too concerned about it. He had more than enough time to make up for it, as they would not be married for several years... Will had a similar amount of time, surely they could manage to be somewhat better spouses by then? Maybe?

William only smiled in response to his cousin’s words as he entered the vast library that had been his sanctuary for the past two months and a half. He was certain that he would do well upon his N.E.W.Ts as he had been preparing for them since the beginning of the year, but he had not taken his studying seriously until the end of the Christmas Holidays. Either way, he was confident about his examinations, and the optimistic part within him argued that should he not do as well as he expected to, at least he had put forth all of his effort into ensuring he had good marks. “I’m certain that once you sit down to the exam, it will be much more effortless than what you would expect. That’s how O.W.Ls had been for me. I had studied my arse off for those exams only to realize that it was easier than I had anticipated. The professors just enjoy scaring us, I think - it brings them a sense of enjoyment.”

Turning a corner at the back of the library (he found that more privacy could be found near the back than in the front of the library), the table and chairs he usually occupied met Will’s line of sight, and he proceeded to lay his bag upon the table before reaching into its contents to pull out his essay materials - an eagle-feathered quill, some parchment, and a capped pot of black ink. Pausing in his actions, his inkpot hovering just a few centimeters off of the wooden table, Will pondered his next words before he responded to his cousin’s evident astonishment, “...Perhaps ‘misery’ is too strong of a word. I suppose that our marriage would not bring about misery, but Tullia puts forth all of her effort into pleasing me and ensuring that she would be the best possible wife she could be for me, and sometimes I’m concerned that perhaps I would not not meet her expectations, and she would be displeased with me. If she is to be my wife, I desire to establish a sort of peace between us so that neither of us are unhappy, but sometimes I do not believe myself worthy of her praise and admiration.” Laying his inkpot upon the table with a small ‘thud!’, Will suddenly turned to face Cash, and frankly said, “I am not Lestrange or Pendergast material - I am not ignorant of this fact and nor am I afraid to admit it.”

Will knew that he had been rambling, but how else was he supposed to explain to his cousin of his feelings regarding his inevitable marriage to Miss Tullia Lestrange. Will found her to be a lovely young lady in personality, and he had no doubt of her Tullia being a flawless wife, but he was still concerned that he would never make her as happy as she ought to be in life. He wanted to be a good husband and an equally good father, but how could he do so if he was constantly being a sort of vexation to his wife?

Tearing his forest-green eyes away from Cash’s blue ones, Will moved away from the table in order to grab a book from a nearby shelf that had been intentionally jutting out of its place. Standing where he was, Will opened the thick volume to a specific page, his index finger moving over the text to find the words he had magically highlighted for his essay.

“Really?,” he inquired in surprise as he lifted his head from the book, “I thought that the Prewetts had a naming theme with the letter ‘F’? Unless that particular theme only applies to one branch of the family?” Will never really made a habit of memorizing his family tree, and nor did he ever intend to do as such, but he reasoned that his family tree was far too large to properly memorize, and left it at that. However, his surprise soon gave way to evident amusement, and he began to chuckle.

So Will worried that he would not be the husband that Tullia envisioned for herself. Cash thought this to be quite different from his problem, and really to him Will was in a better position with his insecurity than Cash was with his not liking women. Regardless of this he could not say anything about how it could be worse for his cousin - not without outing his secret - so he would have to try to be reassuring in a different way.

He hoped this would not be nearly as tiring as he thought it would be.

"Even those of us that are not good at being Lestranges," he said, "are still Lestranges when we're pushed." Even Linaeve? Cash wondered. That he doubted - but who was he to say that in the end, his cousin had not proved herself true to the name she bore?

The fact that the Pendergasts were not technically Lestranges was lost on Cash, who believed firmly in the family policy of 'if your mother is a Lestrange, you're a Lestrange.' He had never doubted this; nor did he doubt that at their core, each and every one of them was a Lestrange. Even if Will was not sure of this.

"I'm just saying, you might be underestimating yourself," he said, "But regardless of that, I think you'll be a perfectly decent husband. Besides, you have years to get used to it - and Tullia has years to calm down."

He had no doubt that Will and Tullia would be okay at being married. They just had to be. He loved his sister even if she freaked him the hell out sometimes and Will was almost his favorite cousin; he did not want to pick sides!

"That's why I thought she had an F name!" Cash exclaimed, "and I swear that that's what my mother told me when she informed me of the betrothal." As part of what Cash liked to mentally refer to as What Would be the Worst Conversation (if it weren't for the mental image of Claude crossdressing.)

Or maybe he just hadn't been paying attention to what his mother said and assumed there was an F involved. Ugh.

"And yes," he said, "I did not find out until I accidentally called her Miss Faline. Because I am the worst." This was going to be the most uncomfortable marriage ever for all parties involved, even beyond Cash's little problem. Why couldn't he just marry someone like Angie? That would have made his life so much easier!

But that was not the way the world worked, and it was not the way the Lestranges worked, and even if Angie was a pureblood she was his age and by the time he was old enough to support a wife, (so when he would have been marrying Miss FKayline anyways,) it would be far too late to end the betrothal.

It was all incredibly frustrating, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. So Cash and Kayline? They were stuck, and he already hated it and they weren't even married yet.