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I wondered why I even came. What did you do, to earn my sorrow, my pain? Why did I feel the burn of the tears, the pain contracting in my heart? Why did I have to look away when your close friend laid you down? Why was there a catch in my throat when I heard that little old man speak about what you did?

I know you better than that.

I was there, all those years ago, that terrible summer day. I saw that monster touch your heart and twist it against those you should have loved. I saw you working for what you saw as the greater good.

Did she die because of you, or because of him, or because of me? The loss that hurt the most to me: did it hurt you just as much? Were the words I spoke at her funeral, the blow I threw there... were they brought by pain, or by grief...

But, then again, you always said that the grief I felt was just love...

Did you feel it too, I wonder? I never asked. It remains a pity, though. I wish I had.

I felt the urge to go up and speak the words of truth to that crowd gathered. I wanted to say what really happened, how your light wasn't as bright as it appeared. Yet I stood back, alone with my grief, wondering... wondering...

And as I remain alone, beside your tomb, I feel the tears coming again. Did you care? Did you feel?

Did you love?

I know, walking home that day, a single answer will answer all those questions.

These are some older drabbles that I wrote, and having just now found them on my computer, I wanted to post them.

Name: megan_lupinHouse:GryffindorTitle: Friends, BrothersWarnings: Mentions of Character DeathWord count: 337Author's Note: The poem at the end is not mine. It came from Robin4's story, Promises Unbroken on FanFiction.Net.

No one noticed the thin and tired man as he walked down the dirt path. If people had been watching, they would have seen his limping gait and hunched shoulders, his drawn face and shuffling walk. But they did not, because no one was watching.

The man finally made it to his destination at the path’s end and, reaching into his pocket, withdrew a wand.

“Hello, James, Lily,” he muttered, his eyes becoming slightly misty as he looked at the two graves in front of him. Some tears sought to fall from the man’s eyes, but he blinked them away.

As dark clouds shifted across the night sky, the man waved his wand, muttering a few incantations as he did so. Once the bright moon was revealed, its light shone down on a newly created headstone that had just joined the previous two.

Putting away his wand, the man sat next to the new headstone. He placed a hand on the grave to his right, his fingers tracing the name James Potter, and his other hand to the new grave, tracing over Sirius Black with his trembling fingers.

“We were friends,” the man sighed. “Hell, we were more than that . . . we were brothers. Until one left, taking everything with him. But we remained brothers, James.” And as the man stood, he turned back once more.

“Thank you for being my friend, brother.”

The man walked away, leaving behind the trio of graves, and Remus Lupin never looked back. If he had, he would have seen the moon’s light shine on the newest grave, the words upon the marble stone becoming visible.

True friendships never really die
And family isn’t defined by blood
It’s made strong by bonds that won’t break
Tempered and tested by trials and pain
What we are is brothers, and as such we remain
Loyal to one another until the end
And no matter what happens between this moment and then
I shall always be thankful to have had such friends.

~**~

Name: megan_lupinHouse:GryffindorTitle: The Night: 24 HoursWarnings: Mentions of Character Death (Doesn't that sort of go without saying in a topic about losing a loved one ?)Word count: 458

It had been the same as last night, and nothing about the day had given him any clue that, in less than 24 hours, everything that was would no longer be. Of course, a part of him knew that things had been different; they had grown apart in the past few months. The stress they had all been under for the past couple years had finally reached the point of affecting them. He could not really blame it on any of them, though. After all, he knew it had been bound to happen sometime.

He had spent the night alone, not being on an assignment for the first time in weeks. The entire house was quiet, and he was simply reclining on the sofa, a new book in his hands. His mind could not pay much attention to the story, however; it was far too exhausted, and within a few hours, he had abandoned the book and fallen asleep.

An urgent knock on his front door woke him in the morning. He jerked awake and, glancing at the nearest clock, stumbled up and towards the door, pulling it open as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The figure standing on his front porch, however, was someone he thought he would never see standing outside his home.

"What is it, Albus?" the man asked, addressing his visitor.

The visitor, Albus, said nothing. He simply looked at the younger man, and it was in that moment, when Albus's eyes met those of the man, that the man knew. His visitor did not have to speak, did not have to show anything more, for the man to understand. What he had feared would happen for the past few years had finally occured.

"No," he whispered.

"James and Lily," said Albus. "On Halloween."

At those words, the man backed away from the door and his visitor. His entire body was trembling as he stumbled back, his head shaking "no" as he collapsed on the nearest chair.

The visitor had still not entered the man's house. But he did when the man spoke.

"What else are you not saying?"

Albus approached the man then and, standing right next to the suffering man, he told him the whole story.

---

His entire world had come crashing down on that night. Everything that he had known, that he had had, was no longer. His friends were either dead or gone, and the joy he had felt with them had now been tainted. Within 24 hours, it had all disappeared. Within one night, he had lost everything. It was the night that he could never forget.

Today I became a father. Can you believe it? Me, your gangly other half, is now a father! All I can remember is seeing Aria in pain, pushing our son out. She was screaming, but then there he was, a beautiful boy. That wasn’t the end, though. There was more left to do. Aria sent me to watch them clean up our son as she gave birth to his sister. Both of them are so beautiful!

The first thing that I wanted to do was to show them both to you…but the best I can do is to sit here and write this letter. Tears stream down my face as that ache comes back again…although I am better able to bear it. Aria has been so understand. Perhaps it is because she understands…having lost her twin sister, too. In memory of our lost halves, our son is now named Fred Remus Weasley and our daughter is named Aurora Tonks Weasley, both honoring lost friends and family.

I cannot tell you how much I miss having you here to share in these moments. I still feel you with me so much of the time. Our dreams have come true through me, even if they are bittersweet because you are not at my side. You should have been my Best man when Aria became my wife 5 years ago. Charlie filled in the best he could. Bill and Ron were also at my side. It just wasn’t the same.

There are times that I miss you so much and I wonder how I will get up in the morning. These moments are occurring less and less, but the pain is still there. A part of me is missing and will be until the day I reunite with you. I am in no rush for that moment, but I still need to share these little miracles that occur in my life with you. I feel you with me in an ethereal way, but I miss having my brother here in the flesh. I miss hugging you and slapping you on the back when our pranks have played out. I miss working with you in our shop. I have kept it going with the help of our brothers and even Dad will help once in a while. They cannot replace you in my life, but they ease the loneness when it is at its worst.

Aria is the biggest miracle in my life. She understands so much what loosing you had meant to me. She may be the biggest reason that the shop is still open, that new products are still being invented. Together we have moved on and I can deal with the ache left behind.

I love you Fred and miss you. Sleep well my brother until we unite again in deaths slumber.

He sighed and remembered the first time that they had met. Well, it could hardly be called a meeting. No words were involved, it was just the eyes.

Blaise remembered it perfectly. They had been walking in different directions in their first year and they had laid eyes on each other for the first time. Something had clicked during that moment.

Blaise’s face hardened. He missed her so much, but he was determined not to cry.

Slytherins don’t cry, Slytherins don’t cry, he thought.

He could not stand it. He wanted her so much, and now she was gone. Nothing could have prepared him for that blow when he saw that list of casualties in the Prophet. Diggle, Dedalus. Tonks, Nymphadora. Figg, Arabella Dordeen. Granger, Hermione.

Hermione Granger was dead.

He let out a breath with much trouble. He loved her so much, and she didn’t know. Now she will never know. He had come so close to telling her, but ended up throwing it in her face. She died hating Blaise Zabini. Hating him.

He loved her.

Blaise stared at her grave and thought of her face and of all the times that they had spoken. A moment of comfort, he could not find.

He knelt and placed the rose he had brought onto the gravestone. He gazed upon it for a long while. Thne he walked away, but not before a single tear had dropped from his face and landed on the single red rose, shining in the moonlight.

MQ: *doesn't think I can award points, but I can still edit this to say it was teh awesomeness* *loves Blaise*

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on

Her eyes open, wide in shock. She is twisted in her bed-covers, soaked with sweat. Her curly hair is stuck to her forehead, her breathing shallow and ragged. She sits back and groans, staring up at the ceiling.

Far across the distance and
Spaces between us
You have come to show you
Go on

Her eyes stare into space, lost in memories. They are eyes dripped in pain- pain, and longing. They had tasted life’s bitter pill. But there is also hope. Although faint, there is still a glimmer there.

Near, Far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart and
My heart will go on and on

She turns and looks at her bed-stool. There is a photograph there, of both of them holding hands and smiling for the camera. The same eyes… yet eons apart. A wrenching feeling travels from the pit of her stomach, then forces it’s way upward until she gasps for breath.

Love can strike us one time
And last for a lifetime and
Won’t let go ‘till we’re gone

She won’t cry… she won’t. Big girls don’t cry. But no matter how she tries to distract herself, she feels soft pain, like a little buzzing in her ear- one that you can’t get rid of, no matter how hard you try.

Love was when I loved you,
One true time to hold on to.
In my heart you’ll always go on

She feels as if her aching heart is being ripped, slowly and painfully. Strong as it is, she fears one day it may break. But there is hope.
Near, Far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart and
My heart will go on and on

He gave his life for her. She knew she should be grateful. But she wasn’t. She was too hurt. Why couldn’t she have died? Sometimes it is harder to be the living one.
But then the glimmer shines. She feels something… something inside of her. As if he is there again.
He is watching over her.
Her eyes flutter close, her breathing evens out. Her mouth curves into a small smile. Golden light pours in through the window, then comes to rest on her cheek.

You’re here, there’s nothing I fear and
I know that the heart does go on
You’ll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart and my heart will
go on and on.

Rose stood over her father. Her tears slithered down her cheeks, falling onto his still chest. “Dad! Wake up! You can’t leave me here!” she yelled loudly, startling the birds in the surrounding trees. They flew away, into the setting sun. Like her father’s spirit and soul.

She shook his shoulders, trying desperately to wake him. “Daddy,” she whispered quietly. “Daddy, don’t leave me here. You can’t. You just can’t.” She hurried to get out her wand. “I’ll get help, Dad. Don’t worry.” She Apperated out.

A group of witches and wizards stood in a huddle around Ronald Weasley. A pair conjured a bunch of cloth and wrapped him in it. Another pair turned around.

“Rose, I’m afraid that we can do nothing for him. He was gone long before you came to us. He’s been dead-“

Name: mrsmcclntHouse: SlytherinTitle: Daddy’s Little GirlDrabble you’re responding to:A New Kind of Pain by my fellow Slyth, Selina aka HARRYHARRYHARRYs _twinWhy?: I worry what I would have to say to my child if I had to tell her that her Daddy died. Warnings: None.Words: 261

Her hands shook as she reached down for her daughter.

“Sweetheart?” Hermione dropped to her knees next to her child, Rose.

“Mommy, you can save him! You’re smart! Daddy always said that!”

“Darling, I-“

“You can do it Mommy! I know you can!” Rose exclaimed as she put her wand in her mother’s hand.

Hermione gave a weak smile as she looked into Rose’s hopeful eyes, “Your father loved you very much, dear. He would move heaven and earth to be with you if he could.”

“THEN WHY? Why won’t he be here with me now!” Rose broke down into sobs as she fell into her mother’s arms.

“Sometimes…its just our time to go. Sometime,” Hermione took a deep breath to gather her strength, “we’ve done all we can do in this life, that it’s time for us to move on into the next.”

She cupped Rose’s face into her hands, “Your father’s greatest accomplishment was helping you to become a strong woman. That’s all a parent could ask for in life, is to make sure that their children grown up to be strong. So now, instead of moving heaven, he can look down from it with pride cause he knows you’ll be alright.”

Hermione held onto Rose as they cried together; their tears mixed along with their mutual grief. She lightly touched the cloth that laid over him. As much as she missed her husband, she felt him with her as she held their child.

“He loved you so much. He’s so proud of you; his little girl.”

Coolness! 5 points and 5 more for actually replying to someone else's...I'd almost forgotten that you could do that in here even thought it was my idea! lol

Baby Teddy Lupin cries as his grandmother, Andromeda, tries to rock him to sleep. He doesn't notice how her eyes are filled with mournful tears, or how her hair is sticking up on end because she hasn't bothered to brush it. He only notices how she isn't his mother.

Andromeda sighes with frustration, and thinks to herself, not this same old song and dance. Teddy will cry for hours and hours, until he screams himself to sleep. She knows deep down that he won't stop crying until his mother returns. She never will.

After little Teddy is placed in his bed, tossing with fitful sleep, she returns to the table to stare yet again at her repayment for her daughter and son-in-laws' death.

One hundred thousand galleons, it read.

When Andromeda first received the check she had the urge to spit on it. Who could put a price on life? Two lives, really, of parents, friends, Aurors, and a daughter and a son. Who could stick a number on her pain, and call it a day?

Who got to decide how much they were worth?

Andromeda had stayed up through fevers, held her daughter when she was sad, and watched the growth of an amazing young woman. And she was supposed to be content with a check.

It was a slap in the face, really. Telling her that her pain, her <i> daughter </i> could be written off.
Was this supposed to be closure? She had wondered when she first saw the blasted thing.

But now, she knew it was closure. This amount of money could not bring her daughter back, or her son-in-law, but it could help her let go. The second she spent a single sickle, it was saying that she realizes her daughter is dead. The second she spends that money is the moment in which she can let go of the daughter she loves so dearly.

She takes the check and puts it an envelope. Andromeda then places it in a drawer, vowing to give it to Teddy when he is older for she is not quite ready to let go yet.

He had left her. After all that he had meant to her, he had just up and left without a word. She had thought that she meant something to him too, she had been wrong.

Her body racked with sobs, She sullenly rememberred how he had once held her so lovingly. She recalled the day they had married, the same day she had first given him the Amortentia in his lemonade. She had been a happy bride that day. Now she was just alone, alone and seven months pregnant.

Having given him the Amortentia daily for the last nine months, she had foolishly told herself that he truly loved her now. She never believed he would leave her, especially in her current condition.

She was wrong. He had left her just as easily as changing his shoes. Her only love, the man that she lived and breathed for, was gone. What was she to do now? She couldn't raise his child alone, not without looking at it and seeing something of him there. She felt as if she were dying inside.

As she placed her hand on her large, pregnant stomach, she sobbed, "what are we to do little one? What will become of us now?"

A faint buzzing around her right ear pulled her from her dream-filled sleep. The dry grass poked at her exposed arms, but she welcomed the discomfort: it was only right when she was here.

The buzzing continued as the warm sun beat down on her body, glowing through her closed eyelids, willing her to fall back asleep. But she couldn’t, she had to be home for dinner at seven and she hadn’t actually spent time with him yet. She turned over and looked at the familiar face of the cold grey stone that contrasted with the bright day around her.

“Hey, brother,” she began as she ran her fingers over the worn letters that she had seen so many times.

Fred Weasley.

A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth, but was gone instantly. “You missed a big week. I had another baby,” she paused, a single tear falling down her cheek, “The whole family was there, save for you. I named her Lily, after Harry’s mum. You’re an uncle again.”

She swiped at her damp cheeks, a small laugh bubbling from inside of her. “She actually looks like Lily: red hair, green eyes, the whole package.”

Silence filled the bright cemetery as she looked on the leaning stone with lonesome eyes. She stood up, brushed the grass from her skirt, and placed a kiss in her hand.

“I love you, brother.” She blew the kiss to the stone, “I’ll be back for a nap next week.”