Several years ago at my job in publishing, I was asked to approach a dog store in Scottsdale that was way past-due on their advertising invoices to get that nonsense closed out. It wasn’t my job and this owner was majorly avoiding us, so I was told if I could get her to give us the $2,000 we were owed in trade, I could keep half. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS of toys, clothing, beds, treats and dog accessories for my new puppy?

Challenge accepted.

I drove there and told the woman we would use the trade for Web contests and promotional things and she agreed ASAP because I was looking her in the eye. I’m surprised I pulled it off; I’m not a confrontational person and there was a majorly distracting $4,000 dog opera house? on display there.

I loaded up on treats, a seafoam green Juicy Couture dog bathrobe, a cube-shaped bed she can crawl into, a string of dog pearls, a genuine mink stole, unlimited toys and a $50 bottle of dog perfume: Les Pooches La Pooche II.

Most of my dog’s junk disappeared as fast as the summer interns, but the Les Pooches has stuck around. It smells fresh and pretty like white flowers, green vetiver and pomegranate, and reappears each springtime for Goosie’s balcony brushings. It’s fortified with conditioners to keep her skin and coat soft, and comes in a crystal bottle that I’m not ashamed to keep on the counter with my Frederic Malle.