2000 At-Risk Survivor

Although the stupidity displayed in the following tales stops short of the ultimate sacrifice, we salute the spirit and innovation shown in these misadventures.

Trash Compactor
2000 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

(8 May 2001, Canada) Yet another unfortunate man has learned that sleeping in a Dumpster is far less attractive than it sounds. A 36-year-old Saskatchewan resident was dumped from his aromatic nest into a compactor and taken to a landfill, where his soft moaning alerted workers to his plight. Police and firefighters rescued him from the pile of garbage, and he was taken to a hospital and treated for a fractured jaw, arm, and ribs. "I'm amazed he survived. They usually don't come out alive," said a spokesperson for Canada Waste Services. The compressor reduces loads to one-fifth their original size. "It's a four-meter drop onto a steel floor and then you are squeezed."

(14 April 2000, Utah) A man whose domestic tranquility had been marred by a quarrel with his wife decided to sleep in the relative peace of a garbage Dumpster behind a church. But his private slumber was interrupted on Wednesday morning when he was dumped into a garbage truck and caught in its hydraulic compactor. He was "collected" from behind the church at 6AM, and the truck proceeded on to gather more rubbish at a high school. The driver had just engaged the truck's compactor when he heard a frantic pounding on the walls of the truck bay. Fire Battalion Chief Brad Wardle commented, "Apparently, he and his wife had an argument. Who knows why he didn't just go to a hotel?"

I don't buy it. He would have to be a very deep sleeper indeed, to not wake when put in the garbage truck, and he would have had the chance to escape when at the school. Muirzy - Friday, April 14 at 12:43:49 PDT

Hard to believe. I work in a retail store, and every morning I can hear the garbage truck a mile away, even from inside the store. When I'm outside, I actually have to cover my ears to stop the pain from the noise. I don't see how anyone, no matter how drunk, could sleep through it. I believe that this is a story from the land where walkmans are louder than oncoming trains...Me - Tuesday, April 18 at 23:53:36 PDT

I don't whether this particular story is true, but people sleeping in dumpsters _do_ periodically get compacted. They don't wake up in time because, usually, they've been drinking. Dr D - Saturday, April 15 at 12:48:34 PDT

I live in Ohio, and last year alone there were three cases of people getting compacted 'cause they slept in dumpsters. One year, a dude climbed into a residential dumpster, the size for 2 or 3 families to share, and passed out. It wasn't until he was reported missing that the truth came out.
How do you make positive ID's on those people? Lyssa - Monday, April 17 at 13:38:20 PDT