Sunday, May 18, 2014

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS

Just for fun, I spent the last four weeks pouring over every bit of data I could get my hands on to see if the climate change deniers had anything to their argument. Not only did I find next to zero credible evidence to back their claims, I destroyed the latest anti-climate change theory (brought up by 15 whinny scientists who are either stupid or evil, your choice) due to inexcusable data mining. Let's see those runner ups, some of whom were doozies this week almost entirely from right wing assholes.

1)Operation American Spring- The right wing attempt at OWS fizzled this week as instead of the 10 to 30 million organizer Col. Harry Riley promised, 10 to 30 people actually showed up. And while their idea may have been in the right place, getting a bunch or redneck loons, some of whom looked like rejects from a Hee Haw reunion, the rest like drunken bikers, to NOT sound like racist morons was all but impossible. Yes, we saw several BENGHAZI banners and several other misspelled signs (does no one on the right own a freaking dictionary or does that interfere with your idiotic worship of the Bible and fishing shows) along with some out of place Guy Fawkes masks. Their attempt to put MORE people like Ted Cruz into power was idiotic from the start. Had they dispensed with the partisan bullshit and gone after ALL the politicians, they might have had a better turn out. Still, a small step in the right direction from the lunatic right is better than no step at all. Next time though, don't promise everyone gold plates and instead hand them lead.

2)Rush Limbaugh- Speaking of right wing loons, this fat bag of gas who somehow is still on the air despite the fact his show his running on fumes with major advertisers fleeing his sinking ship, this most loathed radio host hit a new low this week. After ridiculing Michelle Obama for her picture with a sign saying "bringbackourgirls," referring to the missing Nigerian teens, Limbaugh went off on a racist rant that was truly horrific. Jon Stewart said it best with this description of Rush: “a quivering rage heap who is apparently desperately trying to extinguish any remaining molecule of humanity that might still reside in the Chernobyl-esque superfund clean-up site that was his soul.” Very apt I must say. Limbaugh went on to say things like we shouldn't care about the missing girls because they are not from the US (or white) and other racist nonsense not worth repeating here. If you are still listening to this fuckwad, there's something wrong with you.

3)Republicans- It has been a banner week for Republicans, with many trying to out-stupid the next. If there was a comment from the right, it was beyond asinine, a fact I hope the voting public realizes. Laura Ingraham said the Nigerians were kidnapped because, wait for it and take a wild guess, Benghazi. Yes that's right, she actually said that. Marco Rubio went from climate change denier, which played very poorly in a state that every scientist and beach home owner can see with their own eyes is rapidly going under water, to some wishy washy answer that deflected the real truth that this ass doesn't know science from shinola. He then went on to say life beginning at conception was an accepted scientific fact, which it isn't even close to real as well as his belief that birth control is no better than abortion. What a dick. And then there is Keith Ablow, who must have gotten his doctorate out of a box of Lucky Charms, claimed girls wearing leggings are "asking for it," and agreed with the ban in some schools, because they were distracting for his kid. You know what else is distracting for teen boys: girls. They could be wearing a burka and at that age we would still find something hot to stare at. The right was in full on melt down mode this week, and I still have people to point out and laugh at.

4)Karl Rove- The Republican bashing continues, which I apologize for my right wing leaning readers, but these guys were in rare form this week. Karl Rove is still recovering from his epic meltdown on national TV during the election where he struggled to explain how Romney could be getting crushed when all his data said otherwise. This is called "believing your own bullshit," and it came back to bite him in the ass big time. Actual data spelled doom for Romney, which the right all but ignored, relying on their far less accurate predictions. I still have the Daily Show from that week with Karl Rove flailing in all his pudgy glory on election night. If I am having a bad day, it never fails to make me smile. This week, he continues his downward slide, suggesting that Hillary may be unfit to lead because of brain damage caused be her concussion last year. Rove of all people should be an expert on brain damage as he surrounds himself with people who seem to have suffered serious blows to the head, especially our last president who he advised for eight years. Again, what a dick.

5)Racists- Not one but two racists made the news this week, one we knew, and one new contender. The old one was of course Don Sterling who went on to be interviewed by Anderson Cooper in the most ill-advised newscast since Sandusky's phone chat with Bob Costas. Sterling actually came across worse than before with comments about Magic Johnson, AIDS and black people which made even the most racist person cringe in anticipation of what idiotic thing he would say next. He has gone on to say he will fight the NBA in court over the sanctions they have proposed which may lead them to disbanding the team rather than fight, leaving Sterling nothing in the long run. I so hope that happens. The new racist was police chief Robert Copeland of Wolfeboro, NH who was caught saying "Obama is a nigger," at a local diner and, instead of denying it and going about his way, he said he did say it and felt it accurate. OMG! Calls for this 82 year old racist to resign have increased. Why do we allow people over say 75 to work at all in public office anyway? This jerk is way too old to be police chief (just like a lot of members of Congress) who seem to hold positions that the rest of us resigned away decades ago. Let us institute a maximum age for all in public office and get rid of outdated morons like this one.

6)David and Jason Benham- These two, just like Copeland above, got caught saying bad things about gay people and were immediately fired from their show on HGTV. They denied any mention of being anti-gay, but this miracle of things called video-tape said otherwise, and now conservatives are up in arms that they are being discriminated against. I hate to break it to you but not allowing you to discriminate others does not qualify as discrimination. These arguments against gays are the same thing we heard about the Irish or black people and the world didn't fall apart by recognizing them as legitimate citizens. Go back to stories in the 60's about the civil rights arguments and watch how many Bible thumpers were against desegregation for the same kind of reasons they are against gay people today. It is NOT okay anymore to discriminate against gay people and using the Bible as your weapon is not working.

7)Brazil- To get off the right's back, Brazil is showing to be every bit as inept for hosting the World Cup and the Summer Olympics as would be expected. The World Cup is in a few weeks and the stadium is nowhere near done. Corruption is rampant in this country and it shows. Crime is sky high and many are being displaced due to construction, when it actually occurs. It has gotten so bad, the Olympics committee has quietly told England to be prepared as an alternate location should the construction fall short which the current head said "was the worst he had ever seen." Considering the World Cup has fallen into equally disturbing problems with the 2020 location Qatar (really, QATAR!?) and the Olympics in Tokyo where some of the housing will be in the Fukushima area, really makes me question the logic of human kind at this point.

8)Aaron Hernandez- This moron threw away forty million dollars because apparently he really liked shooting people. Defining the word thug, Hernandez was indicted this week for two more murders that happened outside a Boston nightclub in 2012, weeks after being signed by the Patriots. Way to celebrate dude. He has now out OJ'd OJ Simpson in the stupidity department, who at least waited to fuck up his life until after his pro career. Hope you enjoy prison, because you are going to be in there for the rest of your life.

9)Climate Change deniers- This week 15 scientists wrote a scathing review of the climate change report that came out of the White House this week. In it they claim that the latest notion that the world is warming is bunk and set out to prove it by showing data that the world is actually getting cooler and that over 70% of heat records were from before 1970. The only problem is that their science is either intentionally wrong or they are REALLY bad scientists. See, they looked at just what the hottest of coldest day ever was in a particular state over the last hundred years and offered that as proof. First off, this is the very definition of random. Only by studying the pattern of rising temperatures over a year by year basis do we see indeed we are getting warmed, as every study every done worth it's salt shows. When fellow scientists refused to publish this, these 15, including people like Dr. Don Easterbrook of Western Washington University and Dr. George Wolff, who formerly chaired the Environmental Protection Agency’s Clean Air Scientific Advisory Committee, whined at the top of their lungs over how unfair it was that their ideas were not getting the same traction and screamed bias. Nevermind the fact that their data was obviously wrong and wasn't worth the paper it was printed on, they wanted their day in court, to which their peers said "bug off" and rightfully so. There is no credible data that says the world is not getting warmer. Out of 10,000 papers published last year, only 2 were denying climate change as real. If that isn't a consensus as to what is happening I don't know what is. Climate change/global warming/climate disruption is real and it is happening. These douchnozzels are killing the planet trying to say otherwise. So congratulations climate change deniers you are indeed douchebags of the week.