WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier today, military scientist working out of the U.S. Naval Research Center unveiled a newly built prototype sea vessel capable of engaging targets under sea, on land, in air, space, and more importantly, in Libya. The vessel, six years in the designing, will be part of the new ”Deus Ex Machina" class developed solely for improbable warfare situations that the United States and other western powers have no reason to enter.

Because of the important role these vessels will be playing, top military minds have over-engineered it to an astounding degree. The grey water (sewage) system alone has over 246 levels of redundancy to prevent any possible problem from affecting the vessel, which is designed to be able to float in six inches of water at over 50 mph due to a highly experimental assisted-levitation system created solely for this craft.

Some of the other systems developed exclusively for this craft include: