Mixing work and romance rarely a good idea The Practical Prof By Dr. Santo D. Marabella

It's a relationship cliche: Put two people in the same office, add some mutual attraction and a little friendly flirting. And pretty soon, it's a match - better than any online dating site, right?

Well, I wouldn't hire the DJ and rent the hall just yet.

But despite all the uncertainty and potential red flags, this situation is pretty common. Career websites such as CareerBuilder.com and Vault.com put the number at somewhere between 38 percent and 59 percent. That's the percentage of workers who have dated a colleague at least one time during their career, with nearly a third of them marrying the person they dated at work.

While many may find love at work, very few actually make love there. According to a Bloomburg Businessweek report, less than 5 percent of sexual encounters happen at work. But there are good reasons that sex in the office is less common than romance in the office.

Most people who have sex in the office get caught. Research shows that if you communicated any evidence of your "activities" - via email, text, IM - you are likely to be, pardon the expression, exposed.

And if that happens, be ready for the consequences. At the very least, you can expect to be the subject of office gossip, or worse, Twitter gossip (Twossip?).

In addition, your reputation for professionalism may be forever suspect. Worst case, one of you may be forced to find another job.

To be clear: Don't date at work! Don't have sex in the office!

That said, I get that dating at work might be unavoidable. You can't help who you are attracted to. But you can help how you act. So if the chemistry is just so overpowering, and you don't have enough challenges to deal with, and you must mix personal and professional, then do yourself and your company a favor and follow these Office Dating Do's and Don'ts:

1. Do know and respect company policy on dating. Violations could lead to disciplinary action or even termination.

2. Don't date someone you supervise or who supervises you. But if you're really a glutton for punishment and you do, take Forbes suggestion and sign a "cupid contract" that is filed with HR and spells out the mutual agreements in case things don't work out.

3. Do think ahead. What happens if the relationship fizzles or ends badly? Are you prepared for the scornful looks from your ex's sympathetic co-workers?

4. Don't date someone who is married or in a relationship, no matter how many fantasies it might fulfill.

5. Don't flirt. It's not cute, and it's certainly not the same as being friendly; you know the difference. Flirting could unwittingly send unintended messages.

6. Do control yourself. Act professionally. Your co-workers didn't sign up for front-row seats to "Days of Your Lives."

7. Don't blab or brag. This includes through email, IMs, phone calls, the "promise you won't tell" conversations and Happy Hour buzzes.

This lesson's bottom line: Don't do it. But if you can't avoid it, be smart about it. And while this lesson has been mostly directed to employees, here's a tip for companies: Be clear about what is permitted in the way of personal relationships, document it as an explicit policy in your employee handbook or personnel policy manual, and hold everyone (CEOs, in particular) accountable to it.

To answer my original question: Can romance and professionalism coexist in the workplace? I'd have to give an unenthusiastic "possibly," but it requires a lot of work to do it well.

Coming up next month: Loafing on the job is nothing new for some less-than-motivated employees, but we'll look at how the Internet has become the cyber-loafer's favorite accomplice.

Dr. Santo D. Marabella is a professor of management at Moravian College and president of Marabella & Associates, a management-consulting practice for nonprofits and businesses. He also serves as chairman of the Greater Reading Film Commission.