Tuesday, March 21, 2006 Edition: #3243Nothin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:TODAY MTV officially returns to Canada on CTV’s rebranded Talktv specialty channel, featuring 71% Cancon in primetime and NO music videos (even less than the US parent channel!) . . . TONIGHT the 3rd season of Bravo’s reality series “Blow Out” debuts, with celebrity hairstylist Jonathan Antin undergoing more tress-formations in his life . . . Donald Trump is now the father of his 5th child via 3 wives, as Melania Knauss Trump birthed a boy YESTERDAY after a whopping 8 hours in labor (you’d think a crafty labor negotiator like Trump could have arranged for less) . . . New stats show advertisers spent $75 million LAST YEAR on product placement in video games, a total that’s expected to skyrocket to $1 billion by 2010 (where will product placement pop up next – on your coffee maker?) . . . Hunky actor Jared Leto is joining “Desperate Housewives” for a 4-episode arc as a grocery store clerk who attracts the interest of Eva Longoria’s character ‘Gabrielle’ (well Jesse Metcalfe, there’s the final death knell on your 15 minutes!) . . . Former “Playboy” Playmate Nicole Narain, ex-girlfriend of Irish actor Colin Farrell, stands to collect a $3-million advance if the 14-minute explicit video they made together is released, something Farrell has so far managed to block legally (a measly 14 minutes, Colin – you should be ashamed!) . . . Meantime, it looks like Kid Rock’s lawyer has managed to extend a judge’s order barring the release of the famous video that also features former Creed singer Scott Stapp – and 4 women (it’s only a matter of time until it surfaces – because it’s the best marketing these guys have had in years) . . . Word has it still unmarried (despite rumors) Angelina Jolie wants her expected baby with Brad Pitt to be born in France as a tribute to her dying mother, Marcheline Betrand, who was French-born (guess who wears the pants in this family?) . . . And 7 people have died and at least 11 others severely injured while participating in a reality show in Uruguay called “A Challenge to the Heart”, after a train that contestants were pushing & pulling down a railway track suddenly gained speed and ran over them (what a spoiler – now everyone knows which contestants won’t be back next week!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:• Chicago – TODAY the classic rockers release their 30th album, “Chicago XXX”, which was produced by Rascal Flatts’ Jay DeMarcus, who also performs on several tracks.
• Phil Collins – His wife of 6 years, Orianne (#3), was apparently completely unaware he was leaving her, insisting separation speculation was untrue just hours before he announced their split LAST WEEK. Collins famously dumped his previous spouse, Jill Travelman (#2), by fax.
• Pussycat Dolls – An unscripted TV series about them is currently being shopped around Hollywood. They’ll be opening for the Black Eyed Peas tour which kicks off THURSDAY in Fresno CA.
• Sheryl Crow – After successful breast cancer surgery LAST MONTH, she’s ready to tour again, beginning JUNE 12th in Indianapolis IN.
• Sting – The notorious strip-club aficionado is reportedly opening his own jiggle joint in NYC, an East Coast branch of Hollywood’s Forty Deuce. David Bowie is said to be an investor.
• The Who – 62-year-old frontman Roger Daltrey has revealed he’s going deaf from years of performing high-decibel rock. Despite his hearing problems, he & 60-year-old guitarist Pete Townshend (who’s previously admitted to partial deafness) are working on their first studio album in 14 years.
• Also out on CD TODAY: Prince’s “3121″; Ben Harper’s “Both Sides of the Gun”; Kenny Rogers’ “Water & Bridges”; Teddy Geiger’s “Underage Thinking”; and My Chemical Romance’s “Life on the Murder Scene”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:• “Capote” ( Biographical Drama – DVD ): Philip Seymour Hoffman won the ‘Best Actor’ Oscar for his reincarnation of real life author and NYC intelligentsia celebrity Truman Capote as he researches and writes his masterpiece “In Cold Blood”. Partially shot in Winnipeg.
• “Chicken Little” ( Animated Family – DVD ): After ruining his reputation in a town, a courageous chicken comes to the rescue of his fellow citizens when aliens start an invasion. Voiced by Zach Braff (‘Chicken Little’), Garry Marshall (‘Buck Cluck’), the late Don Knotts (‘Mayor Turkey Lurkey’) & many others. Features music by Barenaked Ladies, Diana Ross, Five for Fighting, Joss Stone, and REM.
• “Derailed” ( Thriller – DVD ): Clive Owen & Jennifer Aniston play married business execs who begin an affair after meeting on a commuter train. After a violent criminal (Vincent Cassel) tries to blackmail them, the two must turn the tables on him in order to save their families.
• “Dreamer: Inspired By a True Story” ( Family Drama – DVD/VHS ): A horse trainer (Kurt Russell) and his daughter (Dakota Fanning) take in an injured racehorse and nurse it back to health for a second chance at racing glory. Filmed in Kentucky’s horse country.
• “The Squid & the Whale” ( Dramedy – DVD ): Jeff Daniels stars in this study of divorce and its reverberations throughout a family. Laura Linney, William Baldwin & Anna Paquin co-star. Winner of ‘Best Director’ and ‘Best Screenplay’ at the 2005 “Sundance Film Festival”.
• Also out on DVD TODAY: “The Ten Commandments” (3-Disc 50th Anniversary Edition); “The Busby Berkeley Collection”; and “Star Trek: Fan Collective Borg”.

BS SOCIAL STUDIES:• Men seem to be cleaning up their act! A recent lifestyle survey shows 54% of men now spend twice as much time grooming as they used to. Vanity is on the rise too – 30% of men now use hairspray and 10% now color their hair. (5% spray on their hair.)
• Live-in boyfriends spend more time doing household chores than married men, according to the National Survey of Families & Households. Husbands spend an average 16.7 hours weekly doing 33% of the housework, while live-in boyfriends pitch in 16.7 hours to handle 40% of the chores. (That’s cuz they’re still auditioning for the job.)
• Starting with puppy love at age 13, the average person falls in love 6 times in their lifetime according to a “Ladies’ Home Journal” poll. In general, women fall in love more often than men, and also end 70% of all relationships. (Except for Jennifer Aniston.)

DID YOU KNOW?The first belch ever broadcast on national radio was heard in 1935.

ROLLS WITH IT:In its annual rankings of high-end vehicles, an automotive magazine has named the Rolls-Royce Phantom the ‘Best Car In The World’. The Rolls beat out more than 75 challengers, including Bentley, Daimler, and Mercedes. The Phantom was rated quietest, best riding vehicle, and has a top speed 149 mph (but exceptionally lousy gas mileage at 11 mpg). The mag says it’s been a good 50 years since a Rolls-Royce could honestly be described as the best car in the world. (Guess what nouveau riche rappers are going to be buying now?)
– “Autocar”

EXTREME MAKEOVERS:Predictions on how home construction will evolve over the next while from experts at the recent “International Builders’ Show” …
• Door sizes will widen to a ‘more elegant’ 42 inches from the previous standard of 30-34 inches. (‘More elegant’ meaning they will better accommodate your fat ass.)
• Living rooms will disappear or change function because when we entertain guests nowadays, everyone ends up in the kitchen anyway. (Why bother dusting a bunch of furniture that no one ever uses?)
• Entry foyers will drop from 2 stories to 1, except in very upscale homes. (Otherwise you’re paying for 800 square feet of … air.)
• Stairs will move from the front of the house to the middle or the rear. (All the better to sneak in for a “Desperate Housewives”-style late-night rendezvous.)
• Not only his-and-hers master baths, but also his-and-hers walk-in closets. (But if you really want cutting edge, go for ‘his-and-his’ … Ennis.)
– “Orlando Sentinel”

BODYBUILDING MADE EASY:University of Texas researchers have developed artificial, super-strength muscles which are powered by alcohol and hydrogen. These artificial muscles are 100 times more powerful than the body’s own and could eventually be used to make more advanced prosthetic limbs. It’s also thought they could be used in ‘exoskeletons’ to give superhuman strength to certain professions such as firefighters, soldiers and astronauts (gigolo, blue movie actor …).
– “Science”

AND WE QUOTE:“Prenups are very important. I have one and I’m not married. I have one with anyone I go to dinner with.”
– Resolvedly-single actor George Clooney kidding around … or is he?

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .• “Children’s Poetry Day”. Have a kid read some rap lyrics with lush music in the background.
• “Fragrance Day.” Either has something to do with perfume or [co-host] after a workout.
• “International Astrology Day”, just as the Aries zodiac sign begins.
• “Memory Day.” Hmm, can’t remember why.
• “Teacher Appreciation Day”, one of several each year because teachers need nurturing.
• “UN International Day for Elimination of Discrimination.” Yeah, an official day … that’ll do it!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .1961 [45] The Beatles’ 1st appearance at Liverpool’s Cavern Club (Pete Best on drums)

1980 [26] The so-called ‘Cliffhanger’ is introduced to TV, a season-ending stunt in which ‘JR’ is shot on “Dallas” (fans are then forced to spend the entire summer pondering ‘Who shot JR?’)

2000 [06] ‘N Sync’s “No Strings Attached” sets a all-time sales record for ‘Single-Day Album Sales’ at 1.1 million units

COMING UP . . .[Wed] International Goof-Off Day
[Wed] As Young As You Feel Day
[Thurs] World Meteorological Day
[Thurs] “The Lord of the Rings” stage musical opens (Toronto ON)
[Fri] No Homework Day
[Sat] Sing Out Day
This Week Is … Massage Safety Week
This Month Is … Mental Retardation Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

ACTUAL SUBTITLES USED IN FILMS MADE IN HONG KONG:
“Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?”
“Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.”
“I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!”
“I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.”
“Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.”
“Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants!”
“You daring lousy guy!”
“Beat him out of recognizable shape!”
“Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.”
“I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!”