Action

Sales Person:(Enters) I need a few volunteers to help out with this skit. This is my furniture store but I don’t have any furniture in it yet. I need three people to be couch cushions. The three of you must sit on these chairs and pretend to be the cushions of a couch. The ends of the couch need to hold their arms up like armrests. I need another volunteer to be a lamp. You will stand right here behind the couch. For my last volunteer, I need someone to be the coffee table. You will sit in front of the couch on your hands and knees. Thank you so much, I couldn’t do this without you. How about a round of applause for my volunteers? (Audience applauds) It is very important that you do not move, remember, you are pieces of furniture. No moving, laughing, or wiggling! Business has been really slow lately and I need to make a sale today!

Mother: I am here to find some QUALITY furniture.

Sales Person: Well, you’re in luck. My furniture is as good as it gets.

Mother: I certainly hope so, I have 9 children and they are VERY hard on my furniture.

Mother:(Puts her feet up on the coffee table) It is very comfortable but I’m worried about how the fabric will hold up to my 9 very busy and sloppy children.

Sales Person: Well, why don’t you try bouncing up and down on the couch? (Mother bounces from one cushion to the next) And the light, turn it off and on a few times. (Mother tugs at the hand of the volunteer pretending to be the lamp) And just feel how solid this wood coffee table is, go ahead, give it a knock. (Mother knocks on the coffee table)

Mother: The furniture does seem to be fairly sturdy but I really need to know how well it will hold up to spills and stains.

Sales Person: Just wait a moment. (Exits. Returns with a bottle of ketchup and starts squirting the couch)

Mother: That is very impressive, it doesn’t even show the stain!

Sales Person:(Exits. Returns with a bottle of mustard and starts squirting the lamp) How about that?

Mother: Hmm, I think I’m starting like it but what about the table?

Sales Person:(Exits. Returns with jam and smears it on the table, showing Mother how easily it can be wiped off) See? It wipes right off!

Mother: Well, my children love to bake. How would the furniture stand up to that?

Sales Person:(Exits. Returns with sprinkles and flour and spreads it over all of the furniture) See? Not a spot!

Mother: I am convinced of its durability but . . . how easy is it to clean?

Sales Person:(Exits. Returns with a bucket of water) It’s very simple, ma’am. (Splashes the water onto the furniture)

Mother: Yes, yes, that does seem to do the trick. What I’m worried about most of all though, is how it will stand up to fire because my children really love to play with matches.

Sales Person: I have some gasoline in the back. I could throw it on the furniture to show how flame resistant it is around matches!

Mother: Oh no, that won’t be necessary. I’m confident that this set will work, I’ll take it all.