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Tuesday, 22 June 2004

I don't know why I watched it but like a rubberneck at a drive by, I slowed, I paused, and I watched the episode unfold. 'Doing Animals' (and I use that term to avoid problems with anyone's anti filth filters or other device of Orwellian Design) was on last night, unsurprisingly, on Channel 4. (Five would have had the whole thing in soft focus and hosted by a ponytailed west coaster called Randy). The concept was mind boggling - there are folk who don't just love animals, but go way beyond the Rolf Harris level of empathy and marry the things. And when I say 'marry' I mean the whole 'to love and to cherish in a physical sense' scenario too. And yet, as I watched this guy (who seemed unable to open his eyes, lived in a trailer and had married his horse) talk about himself and other 'zoos' I was astonished to find myself engrossed in the programme; apparantly there are a lot of these sort of folk around, 'banging the beef' as he so cheerfully put it. It would have been easy to simply write off the documentary as an hour long look at some seriously messed up people living amongst crumbling barns in The Deep South, but the truth appears to be that wherever you find our furry friends, you'll find furry friend lovers too; I for one shall never be visiting that urban farming commune in Bishopsgate. The question lingers on however - if the [insert mountable creature] not only doesn't mind, but enjoys it, and so does the 'zoo' is it no harm no foul? I applaud Channel 4 for showing this documentary, of course afterwards we had even more live footage of animals going at each other in various guises, albeit under the monika 'Big Brother'.

Well, people who shag animals are clearly not right in the head. It is, it must be pointed out, illegal in pretty much every country in the world and virtually every State in the US appart from the one where that show was filmed. Or at least that's what one of the drooling TV-watchers from the office tells me (who watched that show).

Wasn't Belgium or Denmark the last Western country to abolish it by a LOOONG way? Obviously, there have been a few hold out states in the US - though Missouri, where the chap Brit was on about lived, had only recently banned it.Only... recently... Arcane laws only get changed when it becomes a problem, which is why shooting Scotsmen in York with a bow and arrow is allowed. So, what the hell has been going on in Missouri these last few years!?The other couple featured were a nice, reasonably intelligent pair who could talk about their tastes clearly and calmly, and cheerfully discussed the merits of doing 'it' with dogs and men, or ponies and women. How fortunate they both met, what ice-breaker did he use to bring the subject up?

About EED

The most l33t of the l33t gaming clans in the world. The clan with the crosshatch, the mailing list, the shirts, the lan party, the women, the mercenary, the mugs and 0wner of the magnificent NotreBot. We used to be good at computer games once too. Come visit us in #eed on irc.quakenet.org and recharge your superzapper!