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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

First of all, I wanted to say thanks to you ladies for your understanding and kind words on the post regarding a recent remark that was made. Even those of you that had really strong opinions on the matter, or disagreed with me, I thank you and RESPECT YOU because you were very honest and had intelligent opinions and views without being berating; and I respect your perspective and candor, and if anything you have opened my eyes.

Some people take things the wrong way, or misinterpret words written- including myself. It's hard to fully comprehend the context and tone when it comes to conveying our feelings on the internet; we are after all, human beings. We react to situations in different ways and EVERY respectable opinion should be honored. It's the manner people do and say things that determines the reaction it evokes. There's a difference between being rude and curious, and I learned if you want respect, you have to give it. What I say here on my blog is just me venting or rambling, after all isn't that what blogs in general are for? A diary you can spill your thoughts and feelings out? At times one does not expect a response, or pointing fingers to who is right or wrong- just someone who is there to listen. Someone is always going to disagree with your opinions on things, but like my dad says, you should NEVER apologize or regret how you FEEL.

It wasn't matter of supplying a response to a "hater" but I strongly felt that I had to explain that this type of thing is normal in my culture as I know there are many people who are not aware of debuts or similar "coming of age" parties, and all the preparation it entails. And you shouldn't blame people or hold them accountable for your responsibilities, or areas where you lack or are struggling. It's ultimately up to you to create your own happiness. I am NOT a parent, but being the oldest, I have motherly instincts instilled in me, and if I were a parent, I would love to give my child a birthday they will remember for the rest of their life if I could, just to see a smile on their face. It wasn't about spending or "wasting" money on a birthday, it was being able to spend time with family we haven't seen in years, being able to hug them. It was so my sister can celebrate with the same friends she has known since she was 5. And NO AMOUNT OF MONEY in this world can compare to how happy my sister was that day. Again, people CHOOSE to do things differently than others, it does not make them better or less worthy, or right or wrong, it's just their own prerogative, and we can only try to gain a better understanding of each others experiences and where they are coming from. :)

16 comments

Ahhh. I love big family parties. Those make the best memories. Your sister will have that for the rest of her life and it's priceless. I thought most people knew parties such as this were tradition. There was even a movie made about it - The Debut (2000). It doesn't really compare, but I just want to point out it's probably the same kind of haters that hate looking at hauls and haul videos. Plus, I wish people look at spending in today's economy as stimulating the economy. Sorry my thoughts are all jumbled, but you get the picture :) Keep on keepin' on Vanessa!

I think the person who made negative comments is not aware that Filipinos have "coming out" parties for girls, as do Catholics in general across the world. The Jewish tradition has Bat Mitzva for girls coming of age, too.

It is in the cultural tradition of many Catholics, Jews, and other ethnicities to have such parties for both girls and boys, and of course families save up for such important days.

This is not showing off--it is a cultural and family celebration and should be respected as such.

i feel like what people spend their money on is and should be their own personal business and reasonings behind it. just like how i love to buy my beauty supplies, i know i would get offended if someone made a comment about it because it's my money and not theirs! there are a lot of hardworking people out there who deserve a good time, and some other people need to get over it!

anyways, the people that don't matter don't stay for long. i love your new outfits too btw!

Go Vanessa!!! LOL people are haters, and they're allowed to troll the internet...those two don't go together. I didn't know Filipinos did that for the 18th bday, but I figured as much it was something along those lines. I loved the pictures! People just have no sense of culture sometimes I swear. I've never seen you brag or boast about money once on this blog, so the haters can hate!

Good afternoon, doll! I am so with you in the fact that even though I AM a mom, I also have 2 little sisters-16 & 13 years old- whom I love and adore as if they were mine. So, the motherly instinct you have is very natural. I know I spoil the crap out of my sisters, as well as my son. :-)

I can already see that you will be an amazing mother one day. The love you have for family already shows the true content of your character.

So, to all the people who can't understand WHY a parent would go to such lengths to see their child smile,I say- Just wait. One day, you too will know that making your child happy TRUMPS anything else on earth!

I loved the party pics! And I totally understand-my husband is Latino and almost 3 years ago we paid for his daughter's Quinceanera party in Guatemala. Due to the exchange rate, she was able to have the party of her dreams. We did not go, but seeing the photos and how happy she was=priceless. Of course his brother is a DJ and the hall that was rented was nice, but not overly lavish-and all the aunts helped prepare the huge meal for everyone. My 7 year old is already looking forward to HER party in a princess dress as she calls it. THat one will probably be in Guatemala as well, where she can see all her relatives. People are always going to bitch or be jealous, but what you do with your money is your business not theirs. Sorry you had a negative comment, but your sister and family will ALWAYS have the wonderful memories of that day...don't let anyone spoil it for you!

i really agree this post and last post... you do what ever with your own hard-earned money right? I don't think you need to justify yourself with anything, someone out there just like to antagonize! Keep at it Vanessa :)

LOL on the remark.. i could just imagine what she wrote. She'd have a blast saying negatives things with how debuts are actually done here in the PHILIPPINES!! :) hundreds of guests, themed parties, several gown changes, top chefs as caterers, etc. etc., 5 star hotels and top maila djs!!!! 18th birthdays are just waaayy important here.. :) 21 for guys. :) and parents really go out of their way to save up to show that they acknowledge that their little girl is now a woman and proud to show it to the world. :)

BESIDES, doesn't she watch sweet 16 on MTV? its practically the same thing!! :)

Thanks for being so mature, Nessa :) I can kind of understand both sides... but I don't think people should be responding so hatefully to a commenter just because they disagreed with them. That makes them no better than the person they disagree with, really. I wish people would see that, too.

It's hard to understand a culture you're not a part of, and lots of people are pretty stressed right now, especially about sensitive things like money issues. I didn't like how the original commenter went about expressing their opinion, but it's still a personal opinion, and you (as in the readers) disagreeing with it doesn't necessarily make the other person a "hater," "jealous," or anything else. Name-calling and negativity isn't the way to go about handling differences, nor is it mature.

Anyway, hopefully both sides can start being more respectful in the future :)

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