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Monday, July 18, 2005

You know you're from Silly.com Valley...

...like me, when you're wondering when the heck the heatwave is going to end, and you don't remember ever having the air conditioning actually running that many days in a row.

Well, I don't have A/C in my two story house, and it's been warm, and I've been losing my appetite as a result. Ugh. I know that it's hotter elsewhere in the country, but that really isn't any reason for me not to complain that *MY* part of the country is just too darn warm. As I heard somewhere recently - it's not global warming, we're past that. It's global cooking now.

Thank goodness for the little A/C unit I had this weekend though - we had that cranked up and running all day on Saturday, and it made for a rather comfy room while I was reading 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'. I guess I'll be nice in reading it here, but I was good and avoided plot speculation and rumors before the release.

I guess I should say that I wasn't surprised as to who it was who died, but the funeral for that individual had me in tears and grabbing for a tissue or two. I was slightly surprised about Harry's decision post-funeral, but not very - this has been coming and it needs to be resolved. (sorry for being cryptic to those who've not finished it yet).

But WOW, what a book. What an incredible read! And when the heck is Book 7 going to be out?

Ah well, the real purpose of this entry is to use a Blogthings thing that I found a little bit ago, and have started seeing in other folks' blogs. A lot of you aren't going to get these because, well, you're not from this valley, but it might be entertaining anyway... So, you know you're from Silicon Valley when ... (my personal comments are in blue italics)

You Know You're From Silicon Valley When...

Your combined household income is $140,000 and you can't afford shoes for the kids. Shoes *are* expensive, only because my girls keep outgrowing them so quickly.

You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood. Well, we struggled and fought, but we've got it. Heee. And yes, I remember the days of dial-up. Ick.

You know what DSL stands for. Digital Subscriber Line

You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or Starbucks. Nope. We're Starbucks fans, but I don't drink the coffee. Of course, I know co-workers who get into very heated arguments about this subject.

You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho, pesto and pad thai. Oh Puleeze. No, we're not going to touch the ethnicity of the area here.

You met your neighbors once. Yeah, I think they actually leave their house once in a blue moon.

When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance. 13 minutes door to door.

Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay. Actually it's more like 60 hours, but yeah, email, BBs, Amazon more than evilBay...

You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an 'old-timer'. Yup. And I've been there almost 6.5 years now. They call me a founding employee.

The T-shirts you value most were for products that never made it to market. Actually, they're the t-shirts with my company's original logo. The one everyone liked best.

You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer. yeah, Can do that, and I can also read code and QA it. And I'm not a programmer.

You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor. Guilty. And there's a Fry's about 1 mile away from me right now. The only mayor in the area I know of is Ron Gonzalez, but he's the mayor of San Jose, and I don't live or work in SJ anymore. And I only know him because he's always doing something that ends up on the nightly news or the front page of the paper.

Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter. I go through the drive thru, and honestly, that never crossed my mind.

You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $40 a week on gas. Nah. Told ya 13 minutes door to door. But that's at 5am. It takes 18 minutes at 3:30pm. But with gas prices and driving the Cherokee, that cost thing is scary towards accuracy - it's more like $55 every two weeks, but still.

Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies. Yup.

The median price of a house is $500,000...for 1200 sq. ft. with no yard because it's a town house. And it's a fixer-upper... Oh, how true, how true.

You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America on a boat. Heee. I live on what used to be a peach orchard.

Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home. If I had a best friend in this town that would probably be true.

You have a master's degree in engineering but half the people in your department either didn't go to college or have history degrees, except if you have a master's from Stanford, in which case everyone in your department has a master's degree from Stanford. That may actually be true of a couple of people. Including at least one who didn't go to college.

You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if someone in management will make you stop wearing bunny slippers. Nah, no bunny slippers. I'm wondering when the Hawaiian shirts and jeans with holes in the knees will be outlawed.

You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the airport in commute hours. True. That's why when I fly, I leave early in the morning and arrive late at night.

You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer. Sadly true.

You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world, but don't because it would be difficult to move back. That's the truth, but when I leave this valley, I don't think I'll be coming back.

You have at least three computers at home. We have 4 that are running, and a few more than that not running. Oh wait, forgot the laptops. Try 6.

You own at least one domain on the Internet, probably several. Guilty. I have one. DH... not sure....

You think it's normal to see chip-design software or relational databases advertised on freeway billboards. What, it isn't normal?

You know that California isn't just one big beach. Yup.

You know that not everyone in California surfs. Yup.

You know there's lots of skiing in California. Oh Yeah.

You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts. Oh how true that is, but considering I live in a grid where there's a hospital I don't have to worry about that.

If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know what they're talking about. Heck ya.

You take your out-of-town friends to see the techie gadgets at Fry's. But you don't let them buy anything. Haven't done that yet.

You know how to recognize re-sealed returned electronics at Fry's. Yup. You can't live in this valley and *not* know that.

You don't ask the staff any questions at Fry's. You know they hire idiots and pass the savings on to you. Duh. It's worse when you're female and going through there.

You watch dot-com boomers go back to the states they came from, and the traffic gets better by the month. But you are home so you're not moving. Oh hell, I watched most of them slink away because their company's stock crashed and they *had* to leave the state because they couldn't afford their house anymore.

You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends. I can say that of the friends, but not of me. Hee.

You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you visit the mountains. This is most likely true. Never driven in snow. Yet.

You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools. Horn, yes. Finger, no. Very loud voice screaming obscenities at the morons is useful too.

You think bicycles don't belong on the road. Not true. DH is a bicyclist, and I think they have a right to the road. To *share* it.

You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road. Depending on the driver and the behvaior they exhibit, 8 out of 10 times that's true.

Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make... until you tell them how much you pay for housing. Yup.

You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars. Or more.

You do a "California stop" at stop signs. And you think it's only Californians who call them that. Nope. I know *that* isn't true.

You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them. But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you. Nah, I'm terrified of the earthquakes too.

You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit. Oh yeah, want to hear that story?

You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake. Yup, including my MIL's pool and FIL's stein collection. And a few fish tank stories too.

You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first. What's a thunderstorm? We don't have those. Ever. Well, very rarely.

You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the 101". It's just "101". No "the". It's 101, dammit.

You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the ground. Nope. I know what fog is. You couldn't grow up in Vallejo and not know what fog was. And fog isn't clouds.

At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And you froze your little *@#!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind. Nope. Just the reverse, actually. And I got sunburned on the tops of my ears in SF on a 70 degree day.

You say you're from Silicon Valley because no one knows where San Jose is. It's more that I say I'm from San Jose because no one knows where Campbell is.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Silicon Valley. Eh, they can find them here if they're really interested.