I found the following in Kevin Depew's 'Five Things You Need to Know to Stay Ahead of the Pack on Wall Street' for December 19, 2007. Click here for the full article.

The move by General Mills back in June to raise the price of its cereal while decreasing the box size so that customers would hopefully be fooled by the cost increase, prompted a mixed response from Wall Street analysts. Some applauded the move, upgrading the stock from "Earnest" to "Sneaky", while other Wall Street analysts found the whole thing confusing.

Here's a transcript from a portion of that previous analyst call:

Analyst: So let me see if I understand this. The price of your cereal is going up?General Mills Spokesperson: That's correct.Analyst: But the price per box is actually going down?General Mills Spokesperson: Correct.Analyst: So then how is the price going up?General Mills Spokesperson: Because we're making the box smaller.Analyst: Ok, but you just said the price of each box is going to be less.General Mills Spokesperson: Yes, that's true.Analyst: So then you're actually lowering prices.General Mills Spokesperson: No, we're raising prices.Analyst: How?General Mills Spokesperson: Look, you're an analyst, you work with numbers.Analyst: Right. Ok. I got it.General Mills Spokesperson: Next question.Analyst: Uh, actually, I don't get it. How can you raise the price by lowering the price?General Mills Spokesperson: Because we're decreasing the size of the box.Analyst: Ok, but you're charging less for each box.General Mills Spokesperson: Yes. Because we're decreasing the size.Analyst: Ah, I get it. So then the price is really the same, you're just making the box smaller which makes the price look lower.General Mills Spokesperson: No, no, no! Listen. We're raising the price of our cereal.Analyst: But -General Mills Spokesperson: Shut up! Now listen, we're raising the price of our cereal.Analyst: (Silence).General Mills Spokesperson: Say it.Analyst: We're raising the price of our cereal.General Mills Spokesperson: Good. We're raising the price of our cereal... while simultaneously making the box smaller. Go on, say it.Analyst: While simultaneously making the box smaller...General Mills Spokesperson: But... and this is the important part... but we're raising the price more than we're decreasing the size of the box... go on...Analyst: But we're raising the price more than we're decreasing the size of the box.General Mills Spokesperson: So...Analyst: So...General Mills Spokesperson: That...Analyst: That...General Mills Spokesperson: Come on...Analyst: Come -General Mills Spokesperson: No, I mean, come on and follow the thought. So that...Analyst: Oh. So that...General Mills Spokesperson: The...Analyst: The... price is lower?General Mills Spokesperson: No! So that the customer...Analyst: So that the customer...General Mills Spokesperson: Will.Analyst: Will.General Mills Spokesperson: Oh good Lord. So that the customer will think the price has gone down when it's really gone up!Analyst: Oh.General Mills Spokesperson: See? Price increase. Smaller box. Larger price increase than smaller box.Analyst: Right. I still don't get it.General Mills Spokesperson: You know what? Just forget it.Analyst: I'm going to have to downgrade your stock, you know.General Mills Spokesperson: Good. Good. You do that.Analyst: I will.General Mills Spokesperson: I don't even want you to rate our stock positive.Analyst: Good, because I won't.General Mills Spokesperson: It would be an insult to the company for you to rate it positive.Analyst: I'm downgrading your stock to "Mean."

I don't know who to feel more sorry for - the spokesperson getting super frustrated, or the analyst getting yelled at! Ah, capitalism...ain't it grand?

Dec 14, 2007

A German, A Pole, and Dumb Steve were all hiking in the Alps. They had reached the peak, had a nice picnic lunch, and were headed back down the narrow trail when a rockslide came thundering down the mountain. All three got safely out of the way, but were perturbed to find their only path was now blocked.

They were contemplating this predicament when all of a sudden, a blinding flash of light appeared. It slowly faded, and revealed the Good Fairy smiling gently at the hikers.

"I have come to grant you all one wish," she stated. "I will turn you into anything you desire - simply shout it out and I will make it so."

The hikers were shocked and stunned, but were truly grateful for the oppourtunity.

The German began running, and when he reached the edge of the cliff he leaped into the air and shouted, "An eagle!"

POOF! The German was turned into a majestic bald eagle, who soared away gracefully.

The Pole then jumped off of the edge of the cliff and bellowed, "A hawk!"

POOF! He was turned into a regal hawk, who flew elegantly toward the horizon.

Dumb Steve thought for a moment, then ran towards the edge of the cliff. Just before he reached the edge, he stumbled and said, "Crap!"

Dec 3, 2007

Florida State is headed to the 2007 Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl in Nashville, TN. The Seminoles (7-5, 4-4 ACC) will face the Kentucky Wildcats (7-5, 3-5 SEC). FSU fans travel well, but the proximity of the location to Kentucky's home turf should skew the crowd to Kentucky's advantage. Both teams posess talented athletes, both teams have potent offenses that (when cooperating) are capable of putting up big numbers, and both teams have wins against chart-topping rivals...so this should turn out to be an interesting matchup. You can watch the game on Monday, December 31, at 3:00pm CST on ESPN.

Kentucky got off to a quick start earlier in the year, and were ranked #8 with a record of 5-0 after beating both Louisville and Arkansas. The Wildcats were tripped up by South Carolina, but rebounded in style by defeating LSU, at the time ranked #1, currently ranked #2 and headed to the Allstate National Championship. The magic didn't last, however, and Kentucky suffered losses in four of their final five games of the season - all at the hands of SEC opponents.

The Seminoles have lost some conference heart-breakers as well, including the season-opening Bowden Bowl loss to Clemson. Florida State took the lead against both Wake Forest and Miami, but couldn't hold on. The Seminoles did manage to sparkle early against Boston College, and the 'Noles hung on to beat comeback-kid and Heisman hopeful Matt Ryan, whose BC team was ranked #2 at the time.

Bobby Bowden has led FSU to 26 straight bowl appearances, including two National Championships. The 78-year-old Bowden is the winningest coach in major college football with 373 wins, two more than Penn State's Joe Paterno. Bobby has also agreed to coach Florida State for another year, signing a deal that extends his contract through the 2008-2009 season, worth just under $2.5 million.