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His black enemies he calls "Low IQ"
From Trump it's a racist brew
Cause Maxine Waters
Is smarter than his daughters
And much smarter than Donald too.

Paul Ryan walked into a bar
In seaech of a Republican star
But instead he found nomads
With no real gonads
Cause his party is really subpar.

Omarosa cried Ma'ma Mia!
At Trump's verbal diarrhea
But there's no perscription
To cure the affliction
Called explosive Donorrhea.

He says that his genius is stable
That does seem to be a good label
Since stables are sources
Of droppings from horses
That word should stay right on the table!-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

Each time that the Donald starts lying
His huge brain heats up till it's frying
There's no kind of surgery
That works against perjury
He's hopeless, so why bother trying?-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

Britain and England are not one and the same
But Trump thinks they both share one name
And he thinks Angola
Borders Ebola
And that British Columbia is next to Spain.

His fake hair is an easy call
His fake University took real gall
Trump Foundation was a fake
And a big mistake
Trump's the biggest fake of them all.

While walking the Tallahassee Trail
There's an observance that just can't fail
You'll see dancing flamingos
And really stupid gringos
And flamencos you can order by mail.
[This limerick is based on Trump malaprops confusing the bird flamingo with flamenco, the dance. And confusing the non-existant Tallahassee Trail with the well-known Appalachian Trail. While the Spanish word for flamingo is flamenco, Trump wouldn't know that.]

England, UK, Great Britain aren't the same
So Trump's ignorance only brings shame
And he thinks New England
Was an ancient kingdom
That was once ruled by Saddam Hussein.

While Trump was unloading more snark
His shiny bronzer began to spark
Then all the lights went out
Causing his Deplorables to shout
WhenTrump's face glowed in the dark.

The ties on the neck of the Skunk
Go all the way down ot his junk
Traversing his belly
That swamp full of jelly
They hang around limp in his funk.-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

Off to finding younger women Trump went
Until all his sperm had been spent
Now the orange fat bloke
Has a dick that's broke
Making it as useless as a condom in a convent.

Trump's face is laced with rosacea
Covered in makeup as hard as crustacea
That's orange and thick
To ensure it will stick
So no one can see his true fascia.

Compared to LeBron James' physique
Trump's body seems easy to critique
An orange flabby mass
And a humongous ass
And no muscle mass of to speak.

He's not smart enough for Mensa
And he has no common sensa
He's dumb as a stump
His name's Donald Trump
But is he worse than Mike Pensa?

Many people call Trump a traitor
But LeBron knows he's a hater
With his rod Trump's wishing
He could go phishing
Cause he's "The King" of the Master Baiters.

He's getting increasingly manic
As his flopsweat gives way to sheer panic
And now he's scared shitless
To be Mueller's witness
He feels like he's on the Titanic. -from Jim, Berkeley, CA

Trump barks out orders much quicker
Than a Pitbull licking his dicker
Being drunk on power
With no Happy Hour
He's like a dog who can't control his licker.

To a really Trump brought Mr. Putin
Knowing his base would be rootin'
And to no one's surprise
And not Trump's demise
The Deplorables gave Putin a salutin'.

Telling Trump how tariffs work
Not the task for a low level clerk
With simple flash cards to explain
Why Trump's tariffs were insane
Was how Juncker made Trump go berserk.

When Trump's on his Ritalin
He's only fair to middlin'
It's obvious to see
Nothing controls his A.D.D.
Cause nothing stops his belittlin'.

Trump's pajamas are made of flannel
On the rear there's a secret panel
That provides enough space
So that just in case
Putin needs to probe his back channel.

Said Trumpkin, beginning to bawl:
"Oh, why can't I have my nice wall?
To keep out the rapists
The greasers and papists
I want one that's ten stories tall!"-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

In his bathroom in Trump Tower
The seat of Presidential power
With gilded mixtures
Of ornate fixtures
Where you can take a golden shower.

Mused Trump, facing problems galore:
I'm afraid that the wolf's at my door
But when my world totters
I muddy the waters
So maybe I'll just start a war!-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

We knew that the jerk was a hater
A grifter, a lying race-baiter
Now he licks Putin's booty
Like it's his sacred duty
So we see that he's really a traitor-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

At their summit held in Helsinki
So we were hoping to hear something kinky
About prostitutes with Trump
That he wanted to hump
But his dick was as small as his pinkie.

When Trump left the Helsinki summit
His approval began to plummnet
Cause it was all a charade
Not to give Putin shade
By committing treason dadgummit!

Jim Jordan is the congressman's name
He's been lyin' to avoid any blame
He's in the same inferno
As Joe Paterno
Called the Coaches Hall of Shame.

Using weird mental contortion
Trump said there should be no abortion
But if his children are proof
He really did goof
With mistakes of major proportion.

Requiring mental contortion
Trump promisted he'd ban abortion
To overturn Rod v. Wade
Was the promise he made
Even if it involved extortion.

On July 4th there was drizzle
And their marriage had lost its sizzle
So when Melania refused
To light Donald's fuse
His Roamin' candle it did fizzle.

We're not sorry for you, Mr. Pruitt
You were riding so high, but you blew it!
You would travel first class
Now you're out on your ass
Your paranoid greed made you do it.-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

Trump tried to make the sale
About a Space Force that couldn't fail
Thinking with his penis
That he could land on Venus
But would Serena post his bail?

A ban against Muslims was sought
Even though it was legally fraught
Now everyone can see
That it's very easy
For the U.S. Supreme Court to be bought.

Evangelicals prey on white trash
Cause they'll easily part with their cash
They'll buy any fable
Like Cain and Abel
They're a truly deplorable cache.

Have you seen how the Trumpian signature
Goes so well with his hair's awful wig-nature?
Illegible, spiky,
Revealing his psyche:
A jagged malevolent pig-nature!-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

At Merkel Trump threw some candy
An act from a jackass who's "randy."
But she wasn't amused
And felt quite abused
So now Trump's on slippery Sandy.

A Mexican senorita
Walked out of her border casita
But the Feds snatched her child
And she went hog wild
Cause she had left to buy a fajita.

To Texas Melania flew
Wearing attire that nobody knew
Cause inside her jacket
Was a separate placket
That said: "I'm an illegal too!"

Snivelled Trump, breaking into a whine
"How unfair are these subjects of mine!
A few kids in cages
And they fly into rages
Can't they see that my right is divine?"-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

An illiterate asshole named Trump
Tweets while he's taking a dump
Every ignorant twitter
Sent forth from his shitter
Shows his thoughts emanate from his rump.-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

Melania took a big chance
Marrying an old man who rants
Soon everything went wrong
Because of his dong
That he couldn't keep in his pants.

D. J. Trump is dead said the source
But before you fake some remorse
You won't be glad
Instead you'll be said
Cause D. J. Trump was a horse.

Our G7 allies did frown
After Trump put them all down
With tariffs he'd raise
And Putin he'd praise
They were words from an ass clown.

LeBron said, "The White House we ain't' goin'
And Golden State won't be showin'
We've both got a beef
With the racist in chief
Plus the man does too much hoin'."

Trump got off at a Marriott
Unlike Ozzie and Harriett
Five kids and counting
Plus the women he's still mounting
More offspring than Secretariat.

Dumpy Trumpy didn't get his wall
So Dumpy Trumpy started a brawl
But Mueller's forces
With lot of resources
Made Dumpy Trumpy take a big fall.

D. J. Trump is dead, said the source
But before you fake some remorse
You won't be glad
Instead you'll be sad
Cause D. J. Trump was a horse.

Trump made the decision to choose
Actions that caused child abuse
Causing children pain
For political gain
Means there's something in his brain that's loose.-from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

The children in cages were crying
But Trump and his minions kept lying
When psychopaths rule
With so many they can fool
It’s a sign democracy is dying.-from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

If you were a whore named Melania
You'd want Donald off ya, not on ya
No mountains of gold
For the favors you've sold
Would be worth such disgusting phenomena.-Jim's daughter, Berkeley, CA

There was an old moron named Trump
With a mouth like a rank garbage dump
With hair like a mat
And rolling in fat
And a dick little more than a stump.-from Jim, Berkeley, CA

On Twitter Trump did rant
No trip to the White House he'd grant
With a reason to hate
The Warriors from Golden State
Cause he was posterized by Kevin Durant.

Being an ugly old man we know
With a tremendous amount of dough
A pretty woman would dread
Jumping into Trump's bed
Even if Melania said, "NO MO'!".

And then there is Predator Trump
Whose pants were too tight at his rump
So when he looked in back
They split down his crack
Revealing he was down in the dump.

A President with one qualification:
His infamous fornication
Will soon meet another
Who just killed his brother
So both need a nouveaucation.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump the lying master
Is a political disaster
In spite of his bleating
He’ll lose the meeting
Cause Kim’s brain works much faster.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Prostitutes, porn stars, and girls underage
Are the kinds of women that Trump did engage
So hush money he did pay
To make them all go away
Creating new lawsuits that took center stage.

On Fox News you'll always find Rudy
Cause lyin' for Trump's his duty
But he's old and senile
And someone to revile
And he's not as smart as Judge Judy.

A network with plenty of cash
Thought they would add to their stash
So they brought back Roseanne
But it was a terrible plan
Because they knew she was trailer trash.

There are many Trump apologists
Including Evangelical theologists
But they'll rue the day
When they all went astray
And became subjects for criminologists.

In his campaign, Trump claimed was a spy
And that was another big lie
Wanting to trash the Feds
Cause he was off his meds
And he ain't gonna testify!

Pulling out of Syria wasn't so easy
In fact it made Trump queasy
Not the Syrian nation
But a porn star on vacation
In an affair that was awfully sleazy.

And then there's Michael Cohen
The FBI just seized his phone
His days are numbered
And his life encumbered
Leaving him to piss and moan.

The prostitutes who went to Trump's room
Were invited we all must assume
To pee on his bed
Like the dossier said
And to tape it for all to consume.

The EPA head Scott Pruitt
Was so corrupt that everyone knew it
But when asked to repay
He said "I just may
As soon as I get around to it."

David Pecker knew what to do
About the women Trump did screw
But Pecker went limp
After he tried to skimp
And their stories came out anew.
[David Pecker owns the company that publishes the National Enquirer tabloid who paid for stories just to kill them to protect Trump]

The reason he sucks off Putin
Is because Trump needs his gluten
Even though Big Macs
Make good snacks
They're more fatty than what Putin's shootin'.--from viewer Ed, Livonia, MI.

Ronny Jackson had reason to fear
That his finger would go in here
But his VA appointment
Changed his annointment
To Trump's Admiral of the Rear.

There once was this guy named Trump
Who had a Russian cock up his rump
On a toilet he'd sit
Intending to shit
But it stopped him from taking a dump.--from viewer Ed, Livonia, MI

He introduced her as Marilyn Lockheed
Another Trump faux pas indeed
Her last name was Hewson
Some obvious confusion
From a President who refuses to read.[Marilyn Hewson is the CEO and President of Lockheed Martin Corp.]

"They can't be seen," came from his lips
When talking about stealth flying ships
But these jets were only shrouded
When Trump's eyes were clouded
From staring at a solar eclipse.

Every citizen understood
The legend of Robin Hood
But Trump's main pitch
Was to give to the rich
And take from the poor...NO GOOD!

Donald Trump has made it quite evident
You don't have to be smart to be President
No need to know history
When your job is no mystery
Tweet often, tell lies, cause unsettlement.--from viewer Debbie Hecht, Berkeley, CA

Trump follows the lead of Sean Hannity
Two men suffering from vanity
With both their views
Derivcd from fake news
We're expecting a big calamity.

They jumped off board in a panic
An atmosphere reported as "manic"
Very few survived
Or came out alive
From Trump's White House....NOT the Titanic!

Trump's last "Art of the Deal"
Is a tariff on aluminum and steel
He can’t get any head
While in his own bed
So it's everyone else who must squeal.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Spending lots of time fixing the hair
Applying makeup with none to spare
Not talking about some chick
It's the White House dick
Think Trump's so manly? Au contraire!

Hope leaving puts the White House in gloom
A sick presidency facing certain doom
Will Stormy replace Hope?
Is Trump such a dope?
Our cameras much be ready to zoom.--from a viewer

They said would be a reprieve
From a White House aiming to deeeive
About the Porter scandal
And Stormy Daniels
While Floridians continue to grieve.

After Valentine’s bloody day
Trump promised he'd pray
Knowing there’d be a next
He was sure of his text:
“God Bless the N.R.A.”--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

General Kelly needs to quit
He never was a good fit
The words of a bigot
Pour out of his spigot
Leaving a four star pile of shit.

Everyone had to stare
At a video that was quite rare
Boarding Air Force One
Trump's rug came undone
Proving the emperor has no hair.

To Madison Square Garden he went that night
Hoping to watch a heavyweight fight
But Donald Jr. didn't know
There was a Kennel Club show
And he'd been rejected for his bad overbite.

Trump went on a tirade
Demanding a military parade
With missiles and tanks
Led by more of his skanks
Taking part in another charade.

And again there's General Kelly
Devin Nunes' underbelly
Risking national security
For redacted impurity
After the FBI said, "WHOA NELLY!"

Trump tried to borrow a Van Gogh
But the Guggenheim told him, "No!"
They said: "All you'll get
Is this gold toilet
That will suit your gaudy show."

With a porn star he had an affair
Something a germaphobe not dare
She had large breasts
Trump ignored the rest
And no condom he did wear.

To his room came Stormy Daniels
Wearing her leather gold sandals
Trump opened the door
Intending to score
So he showed her his cocker named Spaniel.

The porn star was Stormy Daniels
Her craft perfected from sex manuals
But her affair with Trump
Gave her a sore rump
And for him another sex scandal.

Trump had another affair
With a porn star with blonde hair
A President's tryst
That everyone missed
Yet no one seems to care.

There are no Norwegian maracas
But there is a Republican caucus
Xenophobic and crude
With a bad attitude
And they're raucus and want to faucus.

Behind the White House doors
There's merely political whores
They're spineless and weak
And never speak
To a President they all abhor.

Senator Perdue and Senator Cotton
Are both completely rotten
They lied about a meeting
Where Trump was seething
About countries he wanted forgotten.

After Melania had his child
Her body Donald reviled
Reduced to arm candy
That to many looked dandy
Though his cheating still drives her wild.

Shithole sounds rough
For Trump it means 'tough'
The workings of his mind
Is not of a normal kind.
So excuses are not enough.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Is his button the Biggest of All?
Or is it his hands that are small?
No business gets done
While he tweets about Jong Un
And his own Big and Beautiful Wall. --from viewer Ole, Denmark

They call him the Tangerine Don,
He bragged all he needed was brawn
He provoked Kim Jong Un
Now we'll all be dead soon
Trump's king and we are the pawns.--from viewer in New Jersey

Based on an actual Trump malapropWhen "standard" on a reef
What sailor doesn't feel relief
Cause the "stranded" survive
When help arrives
Despite a faux commander in chief.

Based on an actual Trump malaprop"Through" their lives that were cut short
"Though" Trump had to retort
With sniffing and mumbling
And words he was jumbling
We wonder what he did snort.

Their tax bill passed by golly!
And Republicans acted so jolly
But it definitely appears
In just a few years
It will be known as Trump's Folly.

Roy Moore rode in on his horse
To cast his ballot of course
His horse was a mare
But she didn't care
When he groped her with unusual force.

He rode Miss Sassy to the poll
But she was not under his control
Miss Sassy's not Roy's horse
But a young girl of course
Who couldn't provide him a foal.

Roy Moore rode Miss Sassy in the rain
And he grabbed her by the mane
She bucked and weaved
And got really peeved
When he was aroused by all her pain.

Mnuchin and his wife at the mint
With a sheet of dollar bills in print
An image of greed
And entitlement indeed
And all the money they've spent.

Experts called Trump's tax bill silly
Cause it was drafted so willy nilly
The cuts were all skewed
So the middle class was screwed
But his donors said "Dilly, Dilly!"

He attacked the FBI on Twitter
In a voice all whiny and bitter
With Mueller stalking
And Flynn talking
Trump knows he's down the shitter.

Based on an actual Trump malaprop
Trump spoke about a "word" of nations
To a "world" with lowered expectations
It's clear he can't read
A major problem indeed
And now we're all out of patience.

Based on an actual Trump malaprop
They sacrifice for the "furniture" of their kids
Did he mean: high chairs, strollers, and cribs?
Again Trump mis-spoke
His grammar's a joke
Explains why his approval's on the skids.

A beautiful tax cut for Chistmas his goal
Putting the deficit in a big hole
Only the rich will gain
The rest will feel pain
In your stocking a big lump of coal.

Russian prostitutes went to Trump's suite
To perform an abnormal feat
They peed on a bed
Like the dossier said
He's our "Leader of the Pee World", we tweet.

While in China, Trump the fop
Well known as Mr. Malaprop
Hailed a Rexis and a Rincoln
Which got his staff thinkin'
Does he require a verbal cop?

Roy Moore hung around Gadsden Mall
To young girls saying, "Hi! Ya'll!"
Now a rabbi and a preacher
Have defended this creature
There's a special place in Hell for them all.

He skulked around Gadsden Mall
To young girls saying "Hi! Ya'll!"
No escaping his perversion
For young ass that was virgin
Which to Roy Moore meant "urban sprawl".

He claimed China gave him a cataract
Then boasted of his no free trade act
He bought a Rexis and a Rincoln
Which got his staff thinkin'
Are we sure Trump didn't mean "Cadillac"?

To Democrats his tax bill he shilled
Claiming if passed "he'd get killed"
But no wealthy will suffer
Including the "Orange Duffer"
So if he'll die, pass the bill, be thrilled!

God spoke to Judge Roy Moore
Cause pedophilia he could not ignore
"Thou shalt not grope
You fake pious dope
The entrance to Hell's through that door!"

When Trump went to Beijing
He was received like a king
He came to barter
But Chinese are smarter
So he didn’t accomplish a thing.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump stood on The Wall
Exclaiming: "Is this all?
Mine will be bigger!"
It made Xi snigger:
"Brains are not given to all!"--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump Steaks were branded for the elite
Something only a carnivore would eat
But after Mueller's decision
And Trump now in prison
He can only beat his own meat.

Harvey Weinstein created a mess
That Fox News couldn't address
Because of Ailes and O'Reilly
They had to act slyly
To avoid being hypocrites, I guess....

The Whitefish company was dinky
When it got help from Ryan Zinke
Their contract was no-bid
To fix the power grid
But now that whole deal looks stinky.

While confined to his daycare nursery
With knowledge only cursory
Trump was overheard to state
"Isn't it just great!
I've never seen such 'diversary.'"

Trump said he belonged in Mensa
But to Tillerson it made no sensa
So between me and you
The Donald's IQ
Is even lower than Mike Pence's.

While working in the White House
Gen. Kelly continued to grouse
With an old pussy-grabber
And notorious back-stabber
He'll never be able to de-louse.

An "empty barrel" was the term he used
For a congresswoman that he abused
Gen. Kelly's a shmuck
Willing to pass the buck
For a President with a short fuse.

A "fucking moron" was the phrase he used
A label that was not abused
Tillerson spoke the truth
Even though uncouth
About the President who wasn't amused.

The National Rifle Addiction
Is not a new affliction
With deaths in the millions
And costs in the billions
For Trump's Congress a Benediction.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

When Donald wanted sex she would scoff
Or pretend to have a really bad cough
What's Trump to do
When Melania won't screw
And his hands are too small to jack-off?

No one should act surprised
That Trump is widely despised
Now the NFL
Can't stand his smell
Which can no longer be disguised.

White supremacists and Jesus freaks
Are to whom the GOP speaks
But attracting this scum
Requires more chum
And new deplorable techniques.

Kim Jong-Un is quite the bard
Calling Donald a deranged dotard
What everyone sees
Is a U.S. disease
That elected an orange tub of lard.

White supremacists are his friends
But it's not where this story ends
Pardoning Sheriff Joe
Was a horror show
What happens next Depends?

Concerned with the size of his prick
Trump went to see Peter Dick
Willie putz with his dong
And make his schlong long
So his cock-eyed Johnson will tick?

Based on an actual Trump malaprop
Trump said, "No more amnity!"
While talking with Sean Hamesty
He then said, "Forment"
Instead of "Foment"
His vocabulary is a "Tramnesty."

There was a president named Trump
Who tweeted while taking a dump
So they grabbed his phone
And made him lie prone
So someone could wipe his rump.

Another version:
There was a President named Trump
Who tweeted while taking a dump
So Kelly took his phone
And made him lie prone
Then said: "Somebody unplug this chump!"

When Trump rode into town
People began to frown
Some were sad
But most were mad
That voters elected this clown.

White supremacists who are Trump's base
Think they're a superior race
They made a pact with the devil
The same as by Neville
Forever they will be a disgrace.

Trump speaks with incoherence
Even with a security clearance
Like a fleeting ghost
Wished for by most
To make a quick disappearance.

There was an old fraud called Trump
Who inherited a dirty great lump
He bought the election
And then on reflection
Spent four years taking a dump.--from a viewer

As Trump grows more bitter
And continues to whine on Twitter
There isn't much hope
To control this dope
Without a babysitter.

Big bags are under his eyes
With a belly large in size
Despite all the weight
Trump thinks he looks great
Holy Mackerel! Look at those thighs!

The Nazis will salute
And the Klu Klux Klan will root
Trump's their man
Despite his plan
To take away all their loot.

Trump Trash roams the streets
But no mention in his tweets
In function as President
He is utterly negligent
All empty words, no deeds.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

They feed Trump positive news
To help reinforce his views
"The White House is strong"
"Fake News is wrong"
Because his ego is huge.

Positive images appear in a folder
But Trump demands it be bolder
He must look strong
With a big hard dong
Looking younger but never older.

Common decency Trump was forsaking
While Boy Scout parents were shaking
Trashing Hillary and Obama
Was quite the drama
For young Deplorables in the making.

What Scaramucci hurled was vulgarity
At Priebus and Bannon with clarity
With his mafia shtick
He's a real prick
To his boss there's a great similarity.

Donald Trump's primary fame
Has brought him mostly shame
And if he gets caught
Over something he wrought
Someone else will be to blame.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump told all the Boy Scouts
Some of his infamous bouts
Because his qualifications
Were his many deflorations
They heard the behavior of a lout.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

He went up like a balloon
Even though he was a buffoon
Becoming President
Was some accident
That should be punctured soon.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

There once was a fellow named Trump
Who lived to ogle the rumps
Of underdressed minors
And grab their vaginas
When he burst in and made them all jump.--from viewer Johnny

Donald Jr. held a meeting
Putin's Russians he was greeting
He thought he'd get dirt
To make Hillary hurt
But instead he got caught in a cheating.

Trump turns to the past
Leaving wiser men aghast
With all his bleating
His country he’s cheating
'America will come in Last'--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump's strongest backer
Is a man named David Pecker
But what's in a name?
His fake news a shame
His soul's increasingly blacker.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands