I work in publishing and I like to read things. Herewith: free association on books, nice things I ate, publishing, editing, and other nice things I ate.

Friday, February 12, 2010

does every kiss actually begin with Kay? or do more kisses begin with Miller Lite?

My brother's girlfriend sent me the below list of 20 points. It's one of those internet chains, albeit one I've never seen before. There was no provenance attached, so I figure it's ok to post here.

ETA: Beth found the provenance here, at Ruminations.com, which seems to have other funny sayings, too. Thank you!

Happy Weekend!

--1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10... Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call...

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad/Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay

I started reading from the list, without seeing the introductory paragraph, and had a mild heart attack when I saw the one about the son. 'MOONRAT HAS CHILDREN??" But then I re-read the start. And comprehension dawned on me.

These are great--but I have to say, the first one is sure to create angst and sadness in a hundred years. It's the equivalent of Cassandra Austen's burning all of her sister's letters. WHAT IF WE STILL HAD THOSE TWITTER FILES?

But I like #6! Cursive is for showing off on whiteboards. It never looked prettier then when dominating a whiteboard in neat tidy scrawl upsetting all who don't wish to read in cursive. Makes worrying about stolen code almost disappear.

And while yes, the "every kiss begins with Kay" jingle does get annoying, that commercial with the couple where he takes her to all of the spots (first date, etc.) and then to one where she says "I don't remember this one" and he pulls the ring and says "You will". <> ranks right up there with the "Peter, you're home" Folgers commercial...

there's a new book out How To Do the Things Your Grandma Knew that talks about how to fold a fitted sheet. Yes, I read it so I would know. (please don't tell my mum, she'd be horrified I'd both forgotten how, and been jumbling my fitted sheets for lo, these many years)

My name is Wesley.I just happend to stumble upon your blog, which I found quite interesting. I am a online marketer in the beginning stage, and it's about time for me start publishing my own Newsletters. Just to be on the safe side I figured I should ask you first.Can I present a great opportunity to you, and maybe your Blog readers?Iv'e recently discovered a wealth of FREE income opportunities and I think you would be a great fit to my team.

#5, oh #5. They seem such a good idea, fitted sheets, until you try to fold those suckers.

But the idea that someone has spent their time perfecting the technique of folding fitted sheets and then posted the secret online for the benefit of all-thumbs people like myself... that's not funny at all. That's actually a little bit scary.