hey, i've just split up with my boyfriend after a year. I just turned 14 when I got with him. Obviously we lost our virginities to eachother because we loved eachother. But there was times when he'd force himself onto me, and even though i said i didn't want to, he carried on doing it. Is this rape? I've told my mam and she wants me to go to the police but I really don't know. He's 16 by the way. Can i just have some advice?
Reply

18/07/2012

Hi Amy,
Thank you for your email. I am sorry to hear what you have been through.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime.
It’s good that you have been able to talk to your Mum about this and if you need someone else to talk to you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

24/07/2012

sandra

28/05/2012

hey, i was raped about two years ago. rape is not a pleasant experience. now i have earnt from it and i get this feeling were i know something is wrong not many understand it but i could just see someone and if i got that uncomfortable feeling i know they have other intentions. i do agree rape abuse should not be targeted at just men being the predators, it could be male or female and i do believe anyone is capable of anything but its their own choice weather they do it or not.

Hi Anon. If you are scared of sex, or don't want to have sex for another reason, then do not have sex. It is your choice when to do it. Whether it's in three months or in ten years, there is no rush and no pressure. Waiting for the right time is better than rushing into it. If somebody is pressuring you, know that they have absolutely no right. Every time you have sex must be enthusiastically consensual. If somebody tries to take advantage of you or pressure you into sex (even if it's just in the internet), get away from them and talk about it with somebody you can trust. The phone lines that are available in this page will listen to anyone who is worried or has undergone any experience that they are not comfortable with; ring them if you feel you need to talk to someone. Remember, your body, your choice, your terms. Always. Be safe, all the best.

Loro - 13/09/2012

Be safe..Use a Condom..I know the feeling..When its right its right..Only cum and do it when your ready..

Luke Beswick - 31/05/2012

unknown **

28/05/2012

my friend put his hands in my jeans when i was 8, he groped a little and i ran, i said no, is this rape ?

Whether you have alcohol or not, if you are sure you said no, and struggled but she/he still continued there sexual actions upon you, that is rape.
it makes me sick how people can treat fellow human beings like this.

it was on my 12th birthday my mum said i could have my friends around for a party so my 3 bestfriends came round 2 where which girls and then there was nathan i fancied him alot at the time and i think he did me. they wwere downstairs and i was up becaause i felt sick, so nathan told the girls he was going to check on me but he didnt he came up stairs bardged his way into the bathroom and he looked at me in away as if omg what the hell are you doing he got so angry but i didnt under stand he grabbed my hair and pushed my head against the wall above the bath so my back was in the bath and he had sex with me i couldnt do anything but cry as he whisperd in my ear that was your birthday presant he took my virginity away from me i was so upset. i am 13 on saturday he asked me right in front of my mum am i coming i said no but my mum saqid of course u aere ur a really good friend to her. i dont no what to do i havent even told my mum about what he did im sio scared he will do it again this year what shaall i do i dont want it to haappen again im just so scared???

I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this. Try and find someone you trust to talk to before your birthday. If you can’t tell your mum, speak to someone else. It could be another relative, a teacher, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

21/05/2012

B

13/05/2012

Hi, i've had one near miss and i've also been anally raped by my ex boyfriend, i told him that i didn't want to do it as i didn't feel comfortable but he went ahead and raped me. I'm still suffering the health complications the rape left behind not to mention the emotional scars. Also the near miss was another ex

This is a fantastic campaign to help highlight the reality of sexual violence; rape is rarely committed by strangers and often by someone known to the victim. I hope this campaign will help young women recognise rape/abuse and to come forward and seek help. I also hope, this advert will act as a mirror to young men, to show the consequences of rape.

but it isnt just woment that r raped or sexually abused nor is it just men that commit rape

Anonymous - 10/05/2012

Emily8822

08/05/2012

When i was 11 i slepted at my friends house and there was just me my friend and her brother in the house .. well my friend went in the bath and i stayed in her room while she was in the bath .. and then there was a knock on her bedroom door and her brother who was 18 at the time came in and closed the door he didnt say anything till he go on the bed he said to me "i like you" i knew at the time that it was wrong for him to like me in that way . Anyways he got on top of me and pushed me down and thats when it happened when he raped me .. in my mind i was screaming out for help but my body just froze but even if i could shout for help it still would of happend. When it was over he got up and left the room . But i just couldnt move my body had shut down i was just laying there feeling as though my childhood had just been taken away from me just like that! I never told my friend what her brother did to me i just couldnt risk our friendship. This is the first time i've ever spoken about this to anyone , now at the age of 14 this is my way of letting some of my feeings out ..& getting help . And maybe one day i will be able to tell my pearents.

Emily,
I am very sorry this has happened to you. I know how you feel, I had a similar experience when your age, I as you felt too confused and ashamed to talk about it, I know now, after more than 20 years, I could have healed a lot quicker if I had reached out to my mother. Please I urge you to be brave and speak about this to either of your parents, most of all they will tray to help you to get over this. Also, remember that you have done nothing wrong, and so you have nothing to be ashamed of or regret, this was not your fault you were a victim of some one else's illness. Your childhood has not been taken away from you and you can recover from this, but you need the help of your parents, I now have a daughter and if she was in your situation I know I would be the best person to help her.

Mary - 15/05/2012

aww, you are really brave, i only come on to this website to offer support. hold your head up high girl x

Katie x - 14/05/2012

katiew

06/05/2012

at the park my bf was being silly and then he pulled down his trousers and pants. thankfully
some mates were with us. then he put hand up my top and undid my bra. i am only 11 so at first it was funny, then when my friends left i did up my bra then i stand up but my bf pulled me back down and i he went to take my top off but i jumped up and i run for my life.

the next day he said that i made him take off HIS top and trousers and i run out offschool crying. i told my mum and she told the scholl.
everthing is better now. my bf is now my ex and he is now in the poilce books.

I dont really know if this would be called as rape but ive been seeing this both and he keeps asking and i keep saying no he older and has had sex but im scard that we will and because he faulsed me it will be classed as rape?

If anyone forces anybody else to have sex it is rape. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger, boyfriend or husband.

Only when I'm Ready - 28/08/2012

Bec

30/04/2012

Hi my friend was 15 and was going through a hard time and she ended up sleeping with a 25 year old guy who worked at the gym she went to. He didnt know she was under age, but when he found out he didnt walk away he got into a relationship with her. They moved in together almost a year ago when she was still fifteen. She's still with him and is only sixteen. Would the earlier encounters when she was 15 be classed as rape?

i believe this is called statory rape as she was under the age of consent. if it was proved they had a sexual realationship under the age of 16. he could be proccescuted and b on a sex offender register.

rebecca - 01/05/2012

Claire

30/04/2012

I think that this is awful. This has almost happened to me in the same situation and it is awful but i managed to bring the boy round to his senses in time. It is scary and not nice and should never ever be done.