So I was at the 2Fast2Furious movie yesterday.....

My faggot friends dragged me to it, not like I had anything better to do anyways. So we're sitting outside because we got there a bit earlier and my one friend wanted to have a smoke. So im sitting there chilling when all of a sudden this 12 year old kid comes up to me wearing a 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS gay t-shirt, and so are his buddies. So the kid is like "Hey wanna buy this shirt? $25 bucks!" I was shocked that this little penis head wanted to rip me off so I take his face and smash it against the cement curb until all of his baby teeth are scattered all over the floor and his face is unrecognizable. His friends run away screaming "HELP MOMMY HELP!!" So I just was kicking the kid in the ribs as hard as I could at this point, having a pretty good time, then his mom comes over and she's like "Thats completely unnecessary Patrick, you could have just said you didn't want a t-shirt." The mom checked the kids pulse and she was like "He's dead. Oh well....I guess I can sell his ticket now, TICKETS TICKETS!!! ANYONE NEED TICKETS!!!???"

No cliffnotes because they would take away the true essence and feel of the story. Sorry shitchewers.