Start Static is still on high repeat on my Ipod. I keep the CD in my car. I love sugarcult. and I miss them, I want some new stuff, so to keep them alive in everyone elses' heads, here are some videos.

Never thought that would happen (I know, I know, I've said that every time I reach some sort of personal milestone. deal.)

So, here's the deal. I love each and every one of you that has read my blog just passing through, or obsessively.
I love you even more if you've left comments. I love you even more then that if you've contributed to my almost 300 posts in some way. You are the reason I am writing still, because y'all make my life interesting.

Here's the second deal. I AM STARTING A NEW BLOG.

(what? did Sam really say that?)

Yes, yes I did. It will be a spiffier looking blog on a different website, where I hope to gain some more attention from people on the interweb.

Isn't that dog cute? Yeah, I know. That's Cody. He was a shepherd mix that I worked with for six months at the Burlington Adoption Center in Burlington, NC. He was great. I got him to shake and sit and stay and we were working on retrieving. He was a big dog, but lovable and playful and happy to get outside. Sure, he had a lot of energy and I would get scratched at times, but all for the best right? I was working to make sure he got a good home, to make sure that he, at the end of a long day of playing with a big rubber bone would be able to curl up on a fluffy bed at the end of a bed somewhere in Alamance County, NC. Did that happen? No. Cody was put down. He had been in the shelter too long, and screws started to loosen. He snapped through the cage one day at one of the staff and that was it. Cody took the long train home.

After all that work, all that training, it was all nullified. Completely and utterly. How do you think it feels when you get back after being home on break only to find out your favorite dog has been put down? It sucks. Really bad.

If you seem to be thinking at all about anything I've just said, visit some of these sites. They do good things for animals. You don't have to donate, I know we're mostly college-age or younger and have no money to our names whatsoever but maybe think about volunteering, helping out, getting some stickers and spreading awareness. There are tons of dogs and cats and rabbits and goats out there that are being abandoned because of a) financial trouble, b) owner neglect and c) any number of other reasons and dogs like Cody are hurting because of it. Come on, help'em out. Would you want your own dog or cat put down if you couldn't care for it anymore?

I promise none of these are PETA websites. These are legitimate organizations that do their best with what they've got.

I had spring break this past week and RG and I drove from Elon to Indiana where friend_regan goes to school. Then from there to see Springer in Chicago and hang with friends_dacie_and_emily. In that time, since the I-Pod connector wasn't working, we listened to CDs. A lot of them. PGP2 came up a bunch because we were too lazy to switch out CDs. This game me plenty of time to give this a thorough thinkin' through.

This isn't really going to be an album review. I guess you could see it that way if you want to, but I'm just going to say a few comments on what I think of the song/band/choices made for this album. First, though, a few general comments.

I was really pumped when I heard about PGP2--I absolutely love PGP1. The bands chosen did a pretty damn good job covering some pretty popular pop songs. This time around though, a few things threw me off and made me, on the whole, hate this album. I know it is a very biased way to look at it, but I will be comparing 2 to 1 a bunch because, well, its better.

These things are as follows:

1. Unnecessary Screaming: Self-explanatory. When this first type of music first started, I was into it. There was a raw energy that appealed to me. I found myself sitting on my roof outside my room or just in my room screaming along, air-guitaring it up. Sometimes I even air-drummed it. And then a couple months passed and new bands were still coming out doing the same thing. The music all started to blend together. Here on PGP2, we see the nexus of all these bands. Except for 2 or 3 tracks, every single track on PGP2 has unnecessary screaming. The covers are good up to a point, where you are assaulted with throaty, harsh noises (not really even words, it just sounds like someone is trying to projectile vomit).

2. Band Choice: On PGP1 and even on Crunk, the bands were good. Like, really good. There was a wide variety of types of pop punk represented on PGP1 and on Crunk a whole slew of styles (more or less--I'm thinking variety in terms of Say Anything to ATL to say, FTSK). Here, this point coincides with point 1: too many screamo bands. Yes Fearless, I get it, you like screamo bands and so do thousands of preteen angsty girls out there, but what about everyone else? Those guys and gals that are nearing the ends of their college careers, having grown up with the scene that evolved around screaming. The people who have a bunch of those bands on their I-Pods and listen to them for nostalgia purposes from time to time or when they decide that, hey, i'm allowed to be upset from time to time and I want to express that through my music for six or seven minutes. What about getting bands to represent them? Every band out there has pop covers, that is just a given, go to any live show and you'll most likely a cover of something (I've been present at "Just can't wait to be king," "bittersweet symphony" and "milkshake" covers). Just find some other bands. There may be contractual reasons that Fearless couldn't get other bands, but since those are not out there for the public I am ignoring them.

And now, I will discuss the tracks.

1.. "What Goes Around.../...Comes Around"---Alesana---Justin Timberlake
----I don’t particularly care for either of these bands. The track doesn’t do anything for me as an opening track either. Nothing special. I wish I had more to say.

2. "Apologize"---Silverstein---OneRepublic
----Another one of my favorite tracks on the album.

3. "...Baby One More Time"---August Burns Red---Britney Spears
---- First, this was on PGP1. It shouldn’t be on two. They should’ve rolled up a newspaper and hit August Burns Red collectively on the nose and gone “No! Don’t do that!” I can’t even listen to more than a few seconds of this song. It is shit. ‘Nuff said.

4. "When I Grow Up"---Mayday Parade---Pussycat Dolls
---Since my last time seeing Mayday, my opinion of them has sunk. The band members each seemed to be playing for themselves, not together as a band. This song has nothing to do with that, but that thought sits in my head.

5. "Over My Head (Cable Car)"---A Day to Remember---The Fray
---Hmm. This one intrigued me. I think it was a curious/bold move to switch genres for the song so drastically, but, more or less, this one worked. Except for the screaming (well, if you haven't figured out that I'm harping on this by now, go reread the beginning of this piece).

6. "Smooth"---Escape the Fate---Santana
----Santana is one of my favorite artists and has been since I was a kid. The sexuality imbued in his kickass guitar pieces is awesome and ever since my dad popped Abraxis into the tape player I was hooked. Then Supernatural came out and it was good, cause it still had Santana and his awesome guitar. “Smooth” is my favorite track on that album and the first time I listened to this I was stoked. Then there came all that screaming and sich (Yes, sich, watch South Park more if you don’t get it). By this point, though, my body had developed a callous shell against it, I was a little dead on the outside, but it protected me from the pointless noise. I like what they did with the guitar in this, I’m glad they didn’t kill it.

7. "Ice Box"---There for Tomorrow---Omarion
----Not a bad cover, but I feel this would’ve fit better on Crunk. Then again, a bunch of these tracks would fit better on that album, especially if they consider Will Smith ‘crunk.’ So, thinking along those lines, was PGP2 just a Crunk b-sides album? Jeez, thanks for putting in the effort to try and put good songs on a CD Fearless. Just because we’re not buying as much music as we used to, and you’re not making as much money or anything doesn’t mean we still don’t care.

8. "Flagpole Sitta"---Chiodos---Harvey Danger
----Compared to all of the other songs on here (except maybe “Smooth”), this track seemed out of place. This track was in high school when the rest of the songs were still playing hopscotch during elementary school recess. I think Chiodos did a pretty decent job with it.

9. "Beautiful Girls"---Bayside---Sean Kingston
--Seriously, you're letting people who define themselves by saying they want to cut themselves listen to someone who they look up to singing the words "you had me suicidal/suicidal when you said it's over." Are you fucking insane Fearless? I see that as dipping a baby's hand in water then setting them down in a room full of electrical outlets. Tact, you (Fearless) have none. On the other hand, this song doesn't have unnecessary screaming, which gave it bonus points in my book, and I think Raneri's voice works for this, minus the content.

10. "See You Again"---Breathe Carolina---Miley Cyrus
---Both the original songtress and cover band need to be put on nuclear testing islands. BC is riding that wave of popularity of all those sorts of hardcore crunk/techno bands. Give it up, you will go down in history as a blip on the radar.

11. "Disturbia"---The Cab---Rihanna
---Rihanna must be proud, every song she makes these days is covered by scores of unimpressive emo-pop-synth-whatever bands. Yehaw, let me go get my guitar so I can cover some of her songs, too. I know, I’ll do a mash-up, I’ll call it “Umbrurbia.”

12. "Toxic"---A Static Lullaby----Britney Spears
---I was shocked when I saw that ASL put out a video for this. That ruined it right away (that and the screaming). First, there is already another abominably covered Spears song on here (not that the songs weren't already bad). Second, how bad off as a band are you when you need to put out a video of a cover song to try and stir up some interest in your band? I know, I know, Madonna did it with American Pie and tons of other people probably have too, but "toxic" is still considered our generation. When "American Pie" came out, it was at least a decade or two after the original came out. Get it? There was time for popularity to ebb and flow. With Britney Spears, she's been in the news since "Baby One More Time" and that skirt/ white shirt combo (she was so hot back then, when I was in grammar school), can we please stop giving her more attention than she deserves?

13. "Love Song"---Four Year Strong---Sara Bareilles
---This is my favorite song on the album, I think. When I first heard it, it made me laugh a little. Yeah, I don't like the screaming but at this point on the cd my body developed a callous to it, I was a little dead on the outside, but it protected me from the pointless noise.

14. "I Kissed a Girl"---Attack Attack!---Katy Perry
---Yay, another song covered a billion times. Let me just say this, less talking about girl-on-girl, more actually girl-on-girl, then this song might be bearable.

I realize a lot of this is ranting, but I'm okay with it. This album seriously disappointed me (it is on par with PATD!'s live show being a huge disappointment also) and I hate when that happens. A little part of me dies. It is like when you go on vacation and you hear all of this stuff about how magnificient all of the beaches are, but once you get there all you see is rain and crack whores on the beach. Major bummer, dude.

Things you could listen to that would not take precious seconds away from your lifespan: Tom Waits, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Count The Stars, The Starting Line.

Anyway, comment so that I know what everyone else thinks, if I am alone on this position (or not).

So I did this a while ago. I have some new beer recommendations for y'al. Seriously check this stuff out, they each have their own particular flavor that I think works really well for the types of beers that they are. Please share comments on your own favs, too.

the selection isn't very international or anything, but we've been drinking these lately and they're tasty. We bottled the Two Drunken Writers' Red Badge of Courage today (red ale w/ apples/blackberries) and we're starting our next brew tonight--a pale ale with oranges and cherries. we have no name yet

So i've had this blog for almost a year now, and in that time I've gotten over 10,000 hits.

HOLY. fucking. SHIT.

that is unbelievable and phenomenal and amazing and awesome in every sense of every word. Needless to say, I never thought I would a) stick with it that long or b) have that many views.

Some thanks are in order.

All my friends on here who have stuck around and read a bunch and have left comments and advice and everything in between and on both sides and all around and was helpful or not or funny or uplifting or any of that
All of my friends who I have made read this for any number of reasons
Everyone who finds this randomly and decides to get past titles.

So, well, thanks so much. Who knows, someday I could be famous and you could look back and say

a) "wow, i read that pretentious, emo fuck's blog when he was back in college. how the hell did he manage to secure some fame

or, the preferred

b) "woohoo! I know him, he's pretty damn cool, I knew something would happen someday for him. sweet, maybe he'll sign his tell all memoir for me so i can put it up on E-bay and make money"

yes, yes i will sign anything you want me to if it comes to it.

so, thanks to everyone, let's get another 10k views in the next year, who knows what the fuck will happen.

So I'm in the middle of revising for my senior sem portfolio and I came across a piece of a story that I like, but I had to cut from the story. The story is about a guy who goes wine tasting and meets a girl. I was told the girl should be cut so, well, she went bye bye. Here is the section. I think I got some good stuff in there about love and such. I mean, I wish I could find a girl like that. Any takers? Please?

from "Taste"

We made our way through the room that held the casks in silence. George made comments about the type of wood used, and how long they aged the wood, but no one asked any questions. Shane kept kicking at my heels, then nudging the air between him and Bridgett, who was walking in front of us. Yeah, I wanted to talk to her, that would’ve been awesome. And yeah, she seemed like she would actually talk to me, but I couldn’t. I kept a few steps behind her. Every once and a while she would look down and back, like she had just stepped on something, but wouldn’t turn fully around. Damn it I wished she would turn around. Even just seeing her smile, one of those movie-scene smiles where the girl is so confident in herself, or like she has a secret.

“Does anyone have any questions?” George said for the eighth time. We gathered in a semicircle around him. He was leaning against one of the poles that held the velvet rope up between the casks and us. He rocked it while he waited for one of us to speak. Bridgette turned to me.

“So, Mr. Wine Pro, show your stuff.” She smiled. It was that smile. Something inside me felt like it was set off. The sensation was like when you’re on a plane and you experience turbulence. Your stomach flies up, while you drop down. I coughed.

“Sure. So, George, what is your favorite wine?” I’m not good at thinking on my feet. Never have been. Bridgette hid her mouth behind her hand again.

“Reisling, but I am also partial to a nice Merlot. Our 1999 is really good.” He took the question in stride, thank God for that.

“Okay, well, would you say that the wines produced here are more oaky tasting than at other vineyards in the area?”

George opened his mouth and closed it, like a little kid preparing to unleash a monster burp. “No, I wouldn’t say an oakier taste. Almost all the casks in the area are made of oak, that’s just how casks are made. Whiskey and other liquors use other types of wood.”

I nodded. I didn’t care. I couldn’t tell if Bridgette was impressed or not. Shane was examining the crossbeams in the ceiling. George brought us out of the winery into a grassy field which, just beyond, were the vineyards.

“This is where we hold weddings and other events. A lot of people like the vineyards in the background, they think it is beautiful.” He leaned in closer to our group. “Personally, I don’t see the point in it.” He winked like he had just told us tomorrow’s lotto numbers. I nodded. Bridgette’s parents both smiled. They were holding hands, swinging their arms back and forth slightly. Shane stood off to the side, his arms crossed. He widened his eyes at me when we caught each other’s gaze and motioned to Bridgette.

I took a step closer to Bridgette, who was taking a photo of the vines, attached to wooden stakes and trellises.

“So, why haven’t you asked any questions? I mean, I am the expert,” I tried a smile, I think I failed. “I think you’re the one who should be asking questions.” I was amazed I asked her anything. It was progress for me, however pathetic that might be. I wanted to look away, look down at my shoes, but I kept looking toward her.

“Oh really?” She turned to me, her camera dangling from her wrist and her arms akimbo. “Well, then, I will. Are you having fun?”

“Yeah. I guess,” I said. “It wasn’t what I expected of a birthday gift, but oh well.”

“Well he tried to surprise you, no?” she said.

“Yeah. I’m just not a fan. My parents were big on wineries when I was younger, they kind of killed it for me. After you go to so many, they all seem the same, even though I can drink at them now, not just wander around.”

“See, that’s something, I mean, plenty of my friends back home wouldn’t give two shits about my birthday. Last year? Last year I got a bottle of Andre and one of those summer sausage things from Target. They told me it was a gourmet gift. Between the three of them, they probably spent six bucks.”

I agreed, kicked some dust, looked at her again. “So how long are you out here? Where are you staying?”
“I’ll be here for another week. I’m taking some time before I officially start writing my dissertation. I needed a break. I’m down in Palo Alto.”

This was one of those times I’ve had multiple instances of in my life. It was like watching a movie, rewinding, and replaying, over and over. In my head I was seeing frame by frame the same basic conversation with eight other girls, ten even. The background of my head is a green screen and the picture changes, but the words are all the same. I could screw this one up pretty easily. I know I could and I didn’t want to. She had a nice smile, yeah, and we barely talked, yeah, but I felt something else about her.

I felt I could talk to her for eight hours in a parking lot about everything. I wanted to do that, too. I wanted to hold her hand and run around a playground like we were six. I wanted to kiss her on the back of the ear because she was leaning into me as we watched boats in the Bay. It would be perfect and awesome. It would be love, even if she didn’t know it.

I hadn’t been there, but I wanted to impress her. “Yeah, I’ve been a bunch. It’s pretty sweet.”

Shane coughed. He caught my eye before stepping over to George to ask him something. Bridgette’s parents were taking photos of the winery from all angles, far out of earshot.

“Well, if you need a guide, I can give you my number and I can meet up with you, it isn’t that far.”
She smiled. “Sure.”

At that moment, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to see if her tongue tasted like the oak casks, to feel her teeth with my tongue, have it slide along their smooth surfaces. Feel for caps or cavities. I took a step toward her, smiled. When she smiled back I could see her teeth, they looked so smooth. We were almost touching arms. I could feel the aura of body heat coming off of her.

Behind us, George was trying to herd everyone back inside to buy wine. I motioned for her to go first. Shane saw the motion and grinned, gave a thumbs up. I lowered my head and let my hair fall to cover my face as I shook my head in embarassment, it wasn’t too long and curled up around my cheeks. I know Bridgette saw that. I was afraid she was going to think that this was all some set up. It wasn’t, but I couldn’t tell her that. It would come out weird I knew it would.

We walked slowly, I think both sensing that once we got inside we would go our separate ways that day. I swing my hand next to hers once and brushed backhands. She didn’t flinch, so I did it again, trying to grab for her hand. She was in the middle of swinging her arms when I tried, so I only managed to grab her thumb. I held onto it like a wineglass stem, careful not to squeeze, but enough pressure to let her know I was there, that I wanted a taste.

So, I brew beer. This has been mentioned before (search the blog, its there)

So, we're starting another batch... this time an apple-blackberry-brown sugar red ale. A holiday brew, if you will.

I was discussing this with my one creative writing teacher and in the middle of me talking she goes,

C: Well, can I buy some?
Sam: Uh, what?
C: Can I buy some, like how much are you selling it for?

--Well shit, I hadn't thought about that before. My mind is tripping over itself at this point cause part of it is giddy that someone wants to buy our beer, part of it is confused because someone wants to buy our beer, and another part is laughing because that person is one of my professors.

S: Um, sure, but you have to agree that if we don't deem it good you can't buy any.

I take pride in my beer, damnit.

C:Sure, just let me know.
S: Okey dokey.

Well damn, we made out first sale. TDW is going to be awesome, haha. and oh yeah, I guess this makes me a business man, haha.

so I've decided finally to get a tattoo. I've been milling it over for a few years now, thinking about designs and such and finally decided on one. The basis for it is this quote.

Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for."
-Ray Bradbury

Write. Love. I like to consider myself a writer. Writing what I love is what I do.

i designed a pen spilling ink out in the shape of a heart. i think it will be pretty cool. I'm going to get my art major friends to make it better then I will post the design and hopefully in the next few weeks the actual tattoo

"I'm just a little asshole, is what I am. When God made me, He must not have been paying very close attention, 'cos I turned out wrong--just plain wrong." --Butters Stotch

I'm reading a book about philosophy and South Park, yes they exist, for a project I am doing on South Park and media (my arguement is that the show is actually important, that what they say is rhetorically good for our country) and I came across that quote. Now, Butters is the lovable schmuck with all the bad luck on the show, but I think that quote is funny and sad and hits-homing and everything all at the same time.

Considering the basis for what, like 90% of the blogs on here is to talk about how we ourselves feel, and the stupid shit we go through (whether we are the ones bringing it upon ourselves or whether it is the cards dealt to us by...whoever) i think that quote fits. It expresses the idea that so many of us acknowledge we are screwed up and not always in a good way. People can joke about being good crazy or bad crazy, I know I do, and often (or about finding a girl/boyfriend who is "good" crazy as opposed to "bad" crazy), but i think this goes beyond that. We joke because we're fucking scared. I know, for myself, when telling the few people I did about going to therapy and the depression and pills and anxiety and all that stuff, i try and cover it, smother it in jokes and laughing and shit. As I said when I first posted it about it. I thought they were going to write me off and tell me to smile a little more, get over it.

We, as a society use humor all the time to deal with fear. I remember, back when the twin towers were attacked, how many cartoons there were of memorials--giant middle fingers pointed towards the Middle East and the "dirty towelheads" and that motherfucker Bin Laden. Et cetera. We were scared Shitless, so we tried to laugh it off.

In that scene in south park, Butters is doing sorta the same thing. He's acknowledging he's screwed up, albeit not necessarily liking it. I'm not saying we'll all like it. But I think acknowledging my help. We go on and on about whatever on here, talking about everyone else and how they interact with us. -----Well, some do and don't talk about how they themselves are feeling about it---and on the other hand you have the people who don't think that anything outside is to blame(wait... that isn't what I mean... I think I'm trying to get at a polarized view of things... people have those and don't acknowledge everything... i guess it would be more a "everybody is fucking me over, I'm not messed up" sorta thing) Anyway... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like that quote. it explains a lot in a sick/sad way.

Then again, I could just be ranting, and you could take it for what it is, a quote from the lovable schmuck with all the bad luck, Butters, from a show that so so many around the world Hate for the irreparable damage it has done to our collective psyche.

Man, I rambled more than a drunken hobo trying to get back to his cardboard box.

Novel update: 2 pages. Huzzah. Take that and smoke it Steven King, then get run over by another truck, you writer-imposter, you.