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Friday, July 4, 2008

I’ve been working on a story that is unusual for me. It doesn’t involve anything really funny so I guess that’s why I’m having a hard time with it. Anyway, I read Ashley & Me written by the very talented (apparently in MANY ways) Riff-Dog. Since I’ve got ARADD, his frequent mention of “rock bands” and my current concert withdrawal has got me drifting off into Rock Star Fantasyland. On top of that, Spiky has just blogged about a rock star. Right now with visions of Chad Kroeger, Ryan Peake, Myles Kennedy, Adam Gontier, and more, dancing, singing and fucking in my head, I’m surprised I can speak let alone type.

I never liked The Beatles. They never gave off that angst filled, bad boy quality I craved. The Rolling Stones did. They still do even if they are senior citizens. The Who did. Roger Daltrey can still get me wet. The Doors, now Jim Morrison couldn’t get any sexier, dirtier, moody, bad boy, if he tried. That man could give me an instant orgasm with the first note he sang. Of any song. Even the phone book, if he chose to sing that. I had a girl crush on Janis Joplin. She was a bad girl full of pain and rejection. She could sing the shit out of a song. I wanted to be Janis having sex with Jim Morrison and Roger Daltrey while Crosby, Stills & Nash played live in the bedroom. My only problem was I couldn’t sing and I had no means or money to become a “groupie.” My outlet was albums (remember THOSE!), TV, radio, and fantasy.

During the 1970’s and 1980’s, I was busy being a grown-up. During those times, rock & roll wasn’t really fashionable. My children grew up listening to “classic rock”. I loathe disco and “pop” music. I detest rap and hip-hop. Rhythm & Blues, I can take or leave. I won’t even discuss country. Mulder and I played our old stuff. Led Zeppelin, Cream, Jefferson Airplane, The Doors, The Who, etc. My kids still love that stuff. I do too, of course but as my kids grew up, Mulder made an unwise career change, I started menopause and lost my mind – a incredible thing happened, I discovered new rock & roll!

The voice that started my lust for young, hot, angst filled, new bad boys, was Chad Kroeger’s. He’s the lead singer for Nickelback. NO FUCKING NICKELBACK JOKES OR SNIDE REMARKS! I love them. Nickelback puts on a fantastic concert. I adore their music. I don’t care what the snotty, little-dick, critics say about them. Plus, Chad has fabulous eyes, a raspy voice that’s like ultra-fine sandpaper going over my skin and long, thin legs that go up to an adorable butt and meet at what’s purported to be the biggest cock in rock & roll. I’d give anything to see that cock. I wouldn’t even need to try it out, I just wanna see it!

Alter Bridge, the band that rose out of the ashes of Creed, is another favorite.

Mark Tremonti rips a guitar up. He’s possessed when he plays. I’d love to feel those hands on my body. Myles Kennedy can sing like an angel. I include Myles in my fantasies only as a bit-player. He’s beautiful but small and almost delicate. If he were a main player I might break him. That wouldn’t do. I guess it’s pretty twisted that a woman of my age has fantasies about men that are usually much younger than her and are rock & roll stars but I really don’t give a flying fuck what people think. It’s what gets me hot. I also love, what I perceive to be their mind set – “I don’t need to know your name, let’s party, let’s drink, let’s fuck, good-bye!”

Three Days Grace, Disturbed, Godsmack, Staind, Papa Roach, My Chemical Romance, Shinedown, Seether, Metallica (early), Finger Eleven, Hinder, Buckcherry, Breaking Benjamin, Type O Negative and more. They thrill me. They move me. They make me wet. I tremble with anticipation at concerts. Seeing them live, pouring out their hearts and minds, make me totally orgasmic. I go to concerts dressed totally age inappropriate. The music invades my body. I can feel my heart, lungs, stomach, and brain, vibrate to the pounding, pulsing bass, drums and guitar. I dance. I sing at the top of my lungs. I feel the dampness between my legs grow and the music goes on and on. It is the ONLY time I let myself lose total control. Being at a live concert of hard, heart-stopping, mind numbing rock & roll is where I can let everything go. It is a catharsis for me.The fist time I went to a concert after embarking on my new life path, I was terribly self-conscious. I thought I would look like some desperate old tart trying to look young. To my amazement, not only was I not out of place but I was accepted and embraced by people young enough to be my children and others old enough to be my parents! We all felt the same. It was and is always an incredible experience for me. Whether it’s in a small club or a festival venue, I’ve encountered the same camaraderie between young, old, Goth, emo, straight, gay, high and sober – we all want THAT music. That pounding, pulsating, ear-splitting, blood boiling music. We want the release and freedom it gives us. The joy and tears. We all relate to the lyrics and the sound. Rock & roll unites us.

What works for me may not work for you. That’s okay. The boy-men of rock & roll lift my skirt. They blow me away. To say nothing of how I’d like to blow them! I’ve hung out like a teenybopper groupie after shows to meet some and have. No, I’ve never slept with one but that doesn’t mean that hope doesn’t spring eternal. I’m in fan-clubs and part of message boards. I know more than I should about current music and musicians. I rarely listen to the old stuff anymore. Why have raisins when you can have plump, juicy, sweet grapes? My “alone” time with my chosen vibrator is always populated with a rock star. He’s young, athletic, moody, talented, hung and he’s with me for as long as it takes to for me to get off. My fantasy life is most definitely full. My real-life? I’m workin’ on that.

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I also would like to tell you about Daren Callow. Daren writes a blog and I was introduced to him by Giggle! Daren (Dazza) was offering free CD's of his music. Since the offer was FREE and for MUSIC, I couldn't not go for it! Daren isn't exactly hard rock & roll but his music is terrific. He obviously is a talented writer so it's no wonder his story "Lucky?" was published in "You're Not the Only One."

Since I only received Daren's CD a couple days ago and have only listened in the car one time through, I want to give Daren a good plug and not at the tail end of my exposing on my rock & roll obsession. Look for a longer review here, on MySpace and a couple Nickelback boards soon.

Thank you so much Daren. I love new music. I just may have to add you to my fantasy roster. I hope you won't mind.

Wow, what a great article, I really enjoyed it and I love your passion for music and musicians... if anything will make me practice even harder today it will be that thought of that passion! Now that's real Rock 'n' Roll!!

Thank you so much for the plug too, can't wait to hear what you made of the CD!

Hey hey...my fave bunny...sweetie babes...see that's what I'm talking about. I don't want to talk about love...Rocker dudes don't need to talk about love. JUST...fuck me and see yah next time you come into town. I didn't want to bust his lip (the metalic taste of blood) oh what a turn on. Anyway YOU ARE A ROCKER..act like one, just fuck me.

There that said, babes...Nickleback is one of my fave bands. I don't listen to what they say about them...Um, like with BOSTON...critics used to say they couldn't sing. FOOK ME! They rock...And I studied rock music...BTW Janis...Jim from the Doors...are awesome. My son (the Prince) puts on his grandma's (my mom) records...yes we have all of her records. He listens to them often. Okay...Steve Perry he is not, but there is only one Steve Perry...right? hehehehe.

Hi,Jeff b. gave you a mention on his site and so I decided to come trucking on over. Not to mention you Dust Bunny in the Wind. I have a blogger on my blog roll called Dust Bunny Hostage. I hope that you have a great day,Big time hugs and God's blessings to you.That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I have to apologize for being remiss in replying to my comments. I'm sorry. You know I still am amazed that people actually read my writing and keep coming back. I really am honored and love each and everyone of you. Thank you so much!

LIR ~ Roger was so beautiful. He's not bad now but back in the '60's - Rrrrwwwww! So tasty.

giggle ~ I do. My iPod is full of my favorites. Not only rock & roll, my first love, but folk, classical and a guy I can't really categorize - Paul Thorn. Dazza's music reminds me of Paul. I should post a video of Paul singing the saddest song ever written. Enjoy your chocolate. I send my Oz friend cookies (biscuits) from the US 'cause I got her hooked on Oreo's! LOL

dj ~ Animal stories ALWAYS get me. Not being a real people person and all. However, Uncle Norman's "Joseph" story made me cry, too. I'm sending y'all positive energy that Chopper's scan is normal. I'm very, very glad he's back writing. If he want's an impartial critic for the book, send me a copy!

akelamalu ~ Hi, again! The Three Tops and The Temptations were very early favorites of mine. But once I heard acid rock, I was a goner!

dazza ~ I'm a closet Folk fan. When I'm listening to you, I hear Arlo Guthrie, Peter, Paul & Mary, and even some Harry Chapin influences. I may be wrong but that's what comes to mind. You're like a storyteller. If you haven't heard Paul Thorn, check him out. www.paulthorn.com

ron ~ Ron, I'm in a small bit of heaven right now. Disturbed, Shinedown and 3 Doors Down have just come out with new CD's. I also hear that Hinder is working on new stuff and I believe Buckcherry's new stuff is either out or coming soon! That Hitachi Wand will be getting a workout! ;)

annie ~ Oh, girl! I do. I really, really do!

jeff b ~ I saw Gary Puckett at a free concert in my town. It made me sad. I thought about going to see The Who but felt it wouldn't really be the same. Plus, why pay the huge ticket price for only two Who's? Some things are better left to memory. I tried to listen to Keith Urban. He's so damn sexy and he sang with Chad. I got through one CD and had to have a drink while listening to Three Days Grace, "Pain."

spiky ~ I've seen Nickelback 5 times. Last tour I saw them twice in one weekend - drove 5 hours to catch the second show. I lurvvvvve them! I met Ben Burnley from Breaking Benjamin after one of the shows. He was very nice and didn't mind having his picture taken with a bunch of middle-aged rockers! LOL Tell your boy to keep singing. Who know's he may become the next Steve Perry!

anndi ~ Hi, welcome back! I have a friend that is so in love with Robert Plant! She's way younger than me, probably around your age and just can't get enough of him. She also is hot for Ville Valo from HIM, who I find very yummy.

jackie ~ Rock is definitely inspirational!

bollinger byrd ~ Yes, the right music will help you feel good, happy and understood. Byrd, the title of the blogger book is so apt - You're Not The Only One. It's comforting to know that, isn't it? I never would have known if it wasn't for my cyber friends. I do cherish them.

trixie ~ I'm very happy to hear you met him. Yeah, I'm jealous. There's another UK band that I'd kill to hear live and meet - LOGAN. If you ever get a chance, go to one of their concerts. If you get Dazza to do a concert in your town, could you arrange a live internet feed for the unfortunate souls that can't be there? PLEASE! :D

This has almost nothing to do with the topic under discussion, but what the hell....

Roger Daltrey played a vampire (Vlad), posing as a human rock star (Jamie Blood) in a 1996 attempt to cash in on Vampirella's popularity. Talisa Soto played the titular vamp in a skimpy red PVC outfit and Daltrey still stole the show. Which, BTW, does not constitute an endorsement of or recommendation for the movie - it's wretched, with Daltrey's performance being the best thing about it.

hiyya sweets. wayover due for a stopover on my part. musicans can be fun to play with but they are sheer hell to live with. i'll have to share some stories with you sometime. on my short list of who to never ever date again is famous (for real or in their own minds) musicans. okay, musicans of anykind. its safer that way. :P

Awesome post!! Confession: I'm one of those who are a little stuck in the past. Joe 'f*ing' Perry still makes me say MMMMMMM.Somehow I think he's still plump and juicy even after ALL these years.......

Mmmm... meat loaf used to do it for me, I like the Rolling Stones, nickleback for sure, arcadian fire, one of my all time favourites is Gary moore, not rock but awesome.. parisian walkways. I went to see Status Quo a few weeks ago.. they rocked too

Nickelback is awesome. Dave Matthews makes me drool from all orifices. LOL I have a work-out music list that is a great blend of "old" and "new" and I love that I can even find the fun in hip-hop, rap, and even... country. I'm wiser in my 40s! LOL

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About me

This is a blog by a woman in her 50's who is finally on the crooked path to find who she truly is.
Married at 19 and divorced at 53. I am going to unearth the artist, the cynic, the free spirit that has been long buried. Or die trying.
I've left Bethlehem
and I feel free...
I've left the girl I was supposed to be
and some day I'll be born.
~Paula Cole