Month: Dec 2016

Often, we are compelled to believe, by people or situations around us, that relationships are forever, however toxic it may be! Be it one with a friend, a partner or with our jobs? Is there a hypothetical promise we are holding on to? Or are we accustomed to those problems that we can’t imagine a life without them?

It is important to judge when a relationship is becoming toxic and comprehend the possibility of living without it. What might seem traumatic initially may, in fact, be leading to a better quality of life.

Friends occupy an important place in our lives and they come with their own value, but to what extent are we prepared to try to retain them when we are certain that people won’t change overnight? And then of course, there are relationships; the more intense form of relationships? One experiences a variety of emotions in a relationship but breaking up is something our mind fears; to a level that we are ready to compromise on our own values and happiness hoping to avoid that big step which will be termed as “failure” . However, what we need to assess at that point is, that the relationship which is void of love is already a failure. Hence, walking away from it is the only path to freedom!

Similarly, jobs have become an integral part of our lives, sometimes even gaining higher priority over friends and relationships! We are taught to work hard and earn money. Work is worship, we are forced to believe. But is it? Must one worship work that they don’t enjoy too? Should one still give up life to attain success in the professional field? And if one chooses to quit, would he/she be considered a failure? No! Because life moves on, and true freedom is found when we walk away from toxic relationships and job and reinvent life! So what may seem like a complete loss at one point of time may only guide you to brighter side of life.

Receiving a compliment and accepting it might not be as simple as it seems. Many of us are often left clueless when we are complimented and the minute we find ourselves, it’s on the negative side of the compliment. We immediately disregard the value of the compliment, thereby disregarding our own capabilities. A compliment like, “Oh! Your hair looks lovely today!” is often replied to with “Really? I am actually having such a bad hair day!”

So the “really’ shows disbelief, thereby depicting an angle of low self esteem and the latter phrase negates all that the person said , hence totally refusing to believe that he/she may have actually been right about the hair.

So, why is it so hard to say “Thank you”? Why is it hard for us to believe that our own judgements could be overruled by others’ perceptions and in fact, could be more accurate?

Thanking the person immediately and moving on is a mark of confidence and it only takes some time to develop that as a habit.

Moreover studies show that compliments activate the same region of the brain, the striatum, as cash does, and both encourage people to perform better. Hence, instead of making a person complacent, a compliment actually enhances performance. So the first step to achieve that is to accept a compliment gracefully. Subsequently the positive effect of the compliment will show up!

Compliments are supposed to make one smile. So, the next time someone compliments you, smile, thank them and accept it!