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#Masterchef Recap 18 July: Not With a Bang, But a Whimper

And we’re back. Once again, Dani is cooking off for immunity. How? I have no idea how this happened either. In the house, Dani seems as surprised as me. She’ll be cooking off against that well-known chef Eamon Sullivan. Wait, what?

Not a chef

This is stupid. I know he won Celebrity Masterchef but come on, who’d he beat? Anna Bligh and that woman from the Biggest Loser who refused to use butter in her cooking. At this stage these guys should be going up against actual chefs.

Everyone arrives in the Masterchef kitchen. Matt is really full on today, appalled that Dani is on the precipice of winning immunity twice. Matt Moran is hanging around like a shark. Tonight’s guest chef is Phillipa Sidley, who seems as weird as every other pastry chef that’s been on the show.

Eamon arrives. He appears to be about seven feet tall. We see some footage of him swimming. He seems like a nice man. Ha, he reaches out to shake Dani’s hand then fakes her out! What a champ. Dani thinks it’s strange to be cooking off against an Olympian. Well, yes.

Not an olympic sport

Matt Moran makes a couple of rapid-fire sports puns then leaves with George, Matt Preston and Phillipa. Eamon lifts the lid on his dish – it’s his ten out of ten chocolate delice. It looks delicious – wait, what is it? What, it’s full of crème brulee? Jesus. Here’s the recipe.

so delice-ious

Gary eats some and finds his neck tingling. Either it’s delicious or he’s having a stroke. They’ve both got an hour and fifty minutes, but Eamon doesn’t get the recipe. He’s not a chef!

They’re off! Dani’s advantage in having the recipe is ameliorated by having to read it on the stupid Telstra T-Hub screen. Eamon’s just cracking along now. Go Eamon! Oh no – Eamon is about to blend plastic into his pastry. Hayden doesn’t warn him – too busy imagining him diving off the blocks and losing the togs, apparently. No, really.

It’s game on with Eamon! I’m pretty sure Gary used that one in Celebrity Masterchef as well. Dani’s going pretty well, somehow. No, wait, she’s an idiot – she’s putting way too much cocoa powder in. It sucks. Sadly, she decides to make it again.

She reads the ingredients on paper this time and manages to use the correct amount of cocoa. A damning indictment on the T-Hub. Meanwhile, Eamon is worried that he’s overcooked his crème brulee. Michael confirms that he has. Thanks for helping, Michael.

Dani’s onto melting white chocolate, the easiest part of the recipe. She burns it, then drops it on the floor. She ignores it. Now she’s giggling and asking Eamon for help with her caramel. She stuffs it anyway.

Eamon starts assembling his delice. However, his crème brulee is not quite frozen. Oh no! Will he plate up in time? Probably. Dani is not having similar problems. This sucks.

Ten minutes to go. Time to put the mousse around the biscuit and brulee and whack it back in the freezer. Eamon’s really worried about his delice setting, so puts it back in the freezer. Sadly, he leaves the blast chiller door open. Ellie thinks he’s not taking this seriously. He’s a professional swimmer, he probably isn’t.

Two minutes to go! Dani’s going fine. I hate watching her succeed. Eamon’s delice is close to disaster. He tries to put it back in the fridge but hasn’t realised there’s no time. Alana and Ellie shout at him. It is kind of a disaster. Dani has probably won it. This is outrageous. If she wins another immunity pin I am done with Masterchef; this will be a Bondi Vet blog from here on in.

Look at that awesome dog; much better

Dani’s dish is up first. Her dish isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty good. The only problem is the risky caramel, which Moran spots with his perceptive snake eyes. Phillipa agrees, and thinks it’s like glue. Everything else is delicious, blah blah blah.

Eamon’s dish is next. The judges clearly think it’s Dani’s, as it’s collapsed on one side. Structural flaws aside, his caramel is magically delicious and his ganache is great. His overcooked brulee is not so good. Oh no!

Judging time! Eamon gets straight eights! Surely Dani’s dish is not that much better. Dani gets 8 from Phillipa, an eight from awful Matt Moran and then Matt Preston sets her on fire. No, wait, it’s just the ad break. He gives her a nine, but looks embarrassed about it.

Dani wins immunity. This idiot is going to win. Eamon doesn’t really seem to care. The other contestants, however, are ropeable. Fair enough. Gary demands a gold medal from Eamon at the next Olympics. Alana demands the immunity pin from Dani. Wait, Alana’s still on the show?

Stealth finalist

See you tomorrow for a recap of last week’s episode of Bondi Vet or something, I don’t know.

My first season of watching masterchef. I am a UK masterchef and great british menu devotee. I can’t believe that Dani got such a ridiculous task for an immunity pin or that Michael didn’t get the chance to go for it, and that ellie still survives. Billie, Kate and Michael are my favourites and Billie is such a loss to the finals. He has huge talent and is such a pleasant guy – will be missed. Your blog is the first thing I go to after another headshaking episode.

I am at a loss.A second immunity pin. Against a swimmer. To Dani. Your blog is the only thing keeping me going at this stage. That and my ever-increasing, rage-induced hatred of Dani and her smug face.
I heart Billy.

The highlight of the episode: Hayden putting the image of Eamon without togs on in my mind. The rest of the episode was a disgrace. Please keep up with the recaps – there has to be some joy in this ridiculous series.