The Key To Women Is Mystery

reader's question

Hi Doc,

I'm very impressed with your relationship course.

Before I got your information, I was doing all kinds of stupid things with women. Man, I mean I didn't have a clue. And even worse, I didn't know that I didn't have a clue. You've really opened my eyes and I've really got to thank you big time for that.

There is one point in "The System" that I just can't quite get a grasp on though, at least not yet. It's really a philosophical issue. Okay, this is it: If the man is the aggressor, the initiator, the risk taker in the dating dance, then how is it possible for the woman to see him as a mysterious Challenge [allowing the woman to chase you], as you say to be?

If I ask a girl for her phone number, then that tells her that I'm interested. If I try to kiss her, then she really knows I'm interested. At this point she is no longer wondering if I'm interested or not because I've made it clear by my actions that I am.

I understand that when I don't tell a girl how much I like her then I'm being a Challenge in that way. But if I'm the one who's doing all the calling, driving to pick her up, planning the date, paying for everything, and making all the moves for intimacy, doesn't all that spoil any sense of mystery/challenge that I've tried to build? How am I able to be a Challenge when I'm the one (not her) who has to put myself on the line? I think you see what I'm getting at.

So what do you say to all that, Doc?

Derek — who needs to understand

doc love's answer

Hi Derek,

Yes, it's true that it's the guy who has to walk up to the girl, make her laugh and ask her out. That's the way it is. What a wonderful world it would be if all any guy had to do was show up and look good, and women would consistently risk rejection in approaching him and asking him out.

But despite all the clamoring for "equality" by the Feministas over the past decades, very little has changed as far as women sharing some of the risk of rejection in the dating game. Why would women volunteer to be the ones to put their egos on the line when they don't have to?