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Topic : 03/31 Bruised and Battered

Number of Replies: 137

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Created on : Friday, March 28, 2008, 02:25:53 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Brutal assaults, violent outbursts and death threats -- not the behavior you would expect from your spouse. But what if the person who's supposed to love, honor and cherish you becomes the person you fear the most? Dr. Phil's guests say they know what it's like to live with a ticking time bomb who could snap at any moment. Jaycee says the man she married was a calm gentleman who never raised his voice. When his controlling ways became apparent just months into the marriage, she became suspicious but never expected him to hunt her down, shoot her and leave her for dead. Her ex-husband is now behind bars, but why does Jaycee still fear him? Jaycee's three children were traumatized when their mother was gunned down and still worry for her safety. What does Dr. Phil implore her to do in order to heal her family? Then, Keri says she's been beaten and choked by her husband, Henry. She says she fears dying by his hands, so why has she taken him back numerous times? Henry admits he's pushed his wife around but says Keri always strikes the first blow. He wants to reconcile with her, but are they ready to live under the same roof? Talk about the show here.

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Abuse

I was married 35 months and walked out on my ex 47 years ago on Friday the 13th of May, 1960. I took two babies with me. I have never looked back!! We were married two months when he started beating the crap out of me for no reason what so ever, we did not have to get married, I was a virgin yet. I was very mealy-mouthed but when I made up my mind to leave, I did. He has since been married and divorced three times since me, for a total of four marriages. He beat the hell out of all the women in his life, including his last girlfriend who is 8 years older than him. Her daughter has put a restraining order on him for this last action of his. All I can say is thank God he lives in Miami and I live in NJ, otherwise I would be dead or close to it. I can now fight like hell with him on the internet and I am not afraid of him anymore. I have told him many times the things he did wrong to me but I get no answer from him. He is not big enough to admit his guilt.

Why do these stupid women go back to their abusive exes? Today, more so than in my time, there are so many places for a battered wife to get help and these women are afraid to ask for it. In my opinion, they would rather be abused than get help. I give Dr. Phil all kinds of credit for his patience and compassion. I don't have any for these women.

Can YOU accept the TRUTH ? ? ?

...on the other hand, since women are still falling for these men, it can't be discussed too much.

If only one woman is saved by this program, it's worth it.

Enough is enough.

There are well sheltered studies ( look up Strauss for example ) that women are MORE PHYSICALLY VIOLENT than men! Suprised?

When psychological abuse is considered,....

women BY FAR were GRAVELY MORE ABUSIVE than men

( think of the mother who drove the 13 year old girl to suicide -

-I 'll bet you forgot all about this so you could focus on "nasty men".

It appears the only time a fleeting interest occurs is when teeange girls kill ANOTHER girl.

Although I can cite several such cases, Rena Virk in Canada was one of the most disgusting cases.

Yet the media choses to hush such incident.

People tend to giggle about Lorena Bobbit's vicious attack, but the same would not hold true if he would have sliced of a breast.

I am NOT denying there are men who use violence for whatever reason,..

inability to express self, as a primal reaction to threat, infrustration to false allegations, loss of touch with reality,...... WHATEVER it is,.....

NOTHING will be solved by POINTING fingers at men as montsters,...but it WILL make things worse

asa fundamental root of the problem is being ignored - VIOLENCE HAS NO SEX.

so rather than trying to save ONE womans life,....

let's try to TEACH people that VIOLENCE is an UNACCEPTABLE action / reaction from EITHER SEX.

Then maybe we can save at LEAST one of the many men / dad's contemplate & committ SUICIDE DAILY ( in Quebec alone - the stat is 3 -5 men daily - some "accidents" which are CLEARLY suicide, are NOT tallied in this stat ) .

Don't wait until it is your son or brother to speak out against violence towards men.

03/31 Bruised and Battered

Why this constant, tunnel-visioned focus and women at the receiving end of domestic abuse? Some women dish it out, too. On their husbands and boyfriends, children, and elderly parents or grandparents. Take note, Dr Phil. You can ignore it if you want to. But, you can't ignore it out of existance.

Bruised and Battered

It's shows with topics like this one that might help someone who is in this kind of relationship. Dr Phil's show is watched by millions of viewers across the nation. Some have no resources, some have no help. So many don't want to get involved. Some are too humiliated to ask for help. It is one of those things that nobody wants to talk about it. It affects millions.

I was in this kind of relationship it took me 20 years to stand up and get the courage to say "NO MORE!" Fear is something that is very real. Until you walk someone else walk, you don't know. No one knew what he was like when no one else was around, but myself and my kids.

What finally helped me was this. We went to the hospital and he was in the "ER" on the door in the bathroom was a card, That listed a behaviors that were abusive. I flipped the card over and there were phone numbers for help. Thank God someone thought to put them there. I just used the information on that card to get out.

I only have one comment. " You don't hit, push. bully. humilate someone that you love." If this is happening to you. There are listings in phone books, ER staff has the information. I am sure on Dr Phil's wed site he has a list of numbers and places to go. There is help! Life can be better then walking on ice and egg shells.

So Dr Phil you keep right on doing these kind of shows. Keep the information out there. ^5 to you and your staff.

battered...

This is in reply to the upcoming show on Monday. Months into my last marriage, my husband showed definite signs of controlling and jealous behavior. Looking back now I realize there were signs before, but didn't listen to my gut feeling. After we separated, he tried to win me back but when it didn't work, we met up in a public park for a last meeting to exchange items. We met in 2 cars, he jumped into mine, and with little words exchanged, he hit me on my head 2 times with a crowbar, and when I escaped, he got a gallon of gas from his car (he purchased earlier in the day with me in mind), jumped back into my car, poured it all over himself and lit. He burned 45% of his body, was in a coma for 3 months. He's disabled for life, but I still fear that one day he will come back and try again in some other way. Though he had threatened suicide by fire for the past year, I didn't realize that he was capable of trying to kill me. We initially thought that was going to commit murder/suicide, but then the police found a wig in his car so, guess he thought he was going to just hit me and either I'd pass out, or die right away and then he'd set me on fire. Sick...

So if there's any message I can get out there..it's this...LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCT. It is always right! Even if it's uncomfortable, even if you don't like what it's telling you or it's an inconvenient message at that time, and btw, 90% of the time, that message IS inconvenient, it IS unpleasant - but LISTEN TO IT ANYWAY! Because if you don't, it will come back to bite you harder than you thought possible.

My heart goes out to you my friend....

People may tire of "hearing" about incidents like this - but until something gets done on how to prevent this from happening, you will still hear about it... it's like a broken record but how would you feel being beaten by the "love of your life," and sleep with one eye open because you're afraid to be shot?

I was a victim of mental abuse, sometimes I had wished I was beaten, the bruise would go away, but that didn't happen - instead I fear that I may never be acceptable to my husband now. I was a widow for 10 years before I got married. Even after my son took his own life 12/14/97 and my husband of 25 years died of cancer 12/16/97, I still felt I was not worthy of any love.

The person that says "time heals all wounds," must have been thinking of a cut on the finger.

Signed, WALK AWAY if you're THAT mad. You cannot undue a hurt that cuts into your heart. Understand????

Understanding

This story is so important! Many women live this, but never think they can get away from these men. I was one of those women. I lived in an abusive marriage for 4 years. When I finally got the courage to leave, I thought it was too easy. The way he just let me walk out. Well, three months later, my fears became a reality. He kidnapped me, drove me to the swamp, and beat me for hours. He then brought me back to what used to be our home and raped me for hours. Of course he threatened me by saying that if I told anyone or went to the police that he would kill me. I absolutely thought he would do just that. Fortunately, my family that I had been living with since I left him, made me go to the police. He was arrested, but was released after his mother put her house up as collateral to bail him out. He was only in jail for 1 month. Three years later, we finally went to court and all he got was 2 years of home incarceration and 6 years probation. Doesn't seem fair at all! In fact, after going through all the legal stuff, I can understand why women do not come forward about this sort of thing. I was victimized over and over again. i was made to feel as if I had done something wrong. However, I know that what I did was necessary. If I hadn't, he would still be after me and taunting me. Yes, I still have nightmares and fear for my life four years later, but at least I made him realize that he couldn't keep doing that to me and have no consequences.