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Jacqueline who has been unfit to return to her job in HR since the trauma unfolded nearly three months ago, said: “We strongly believe that we must now be the voices for Clodagh and our wonderful boys.

“In time we will work to highlight domestic violence, especially the silent type where there are no obvious warning signs, just like Clodagh’s situation.

“She had no idea she was in danger. If she had known she would have acted to prevent it and safeguard the boys and herself.

“But this year while she was thinking up ideas for holidays, Alan Hawe was thinking up ideas about how to escape a fall from grace, a tumble from the pedestal he’d placed himself on.

“While Clodagh was planning their future, he was planning her end. While she had thoughts sunshine and fun, he had murder on his mind.

“Clodagh never stood a chance and so the boys never stood a chance. Not once in their lives had they been vulnerable or in danger because Clodagh was just the best mother.

“She was their mam, their friend and protector, their guide, counsellor and teacher. She was everything to our wonderful boys and an example to everyone who knew and loved her. I always looked up to my sister and she always looked after me. Clodagh was one of Mary’s beautiful children and mother to her beautiful grandchildren. Clodagh was one her mother’s best friends.

“If Clodagh had known for one second that she or the boys were in danger she’d have acted without hesitation.

“Clodagh’s voice was taken from her in the most brutal way by a man she should’ve been able to trust with her life. So now Mam and I will be her voice, we have to be and neither Clodagh nor we will be silenced again.

“We need to learn to recognise where dangers lie in the home, see how the desire for control can get out of control and act before it is too late.”

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Life ended for much-loved teacher Clodagh, 39, in her own home days before she was due back in the classroom at Oristown National School.

She had been brutalised by her 40 year-old husband, a once-respected deputy principal of the primary school at Castlerahan, near Ballyjamesduff, Co Cavan.

After he murdered Clodagh, he turned his attention to his three children, then murdered them too.

His two eldest boys, Liam and Niall, died in the first floor bedroom they shared. His youngest, little Ryan, received his father’s deadly attention in his own toy-filled sanctuary with his mother lying dead downstairs and his big brother heroes lifeless in the room next door.

Hawe, who had for years presented himself as a deeply religious person and a pillar of the community, is believed to have meticulously planned the brutal end to a beautiful family.

He had armed himself with weapons and defended his actions with paltry explanations in hand written letters.

After his murderous acts were complete, Hawe had pinned a note to the back door of the detached home in Castlerahan warning anyone who came by not to enter the property but to instead call the gardai.

The simple note was the first clue to the devastation which lay behind the door.

It was found by Clodagh’s mother who called to the house when Clodagh failed to turn up with Niall and Ryan to her home in Virginia previously arranged.

After several unanswered telephone calls Mary Coll drove to her daughter’s home.

Both cars were in the driveway, lights were still on in the house and the scene appeared normal.

A handwritten note pinned to the back door was the only clue that all was not right. The five-word scrawl warned the finder not to enter the house but to call the gardai.

And the officers arrived, they stepped into the scene of a bloody massacre and discovered the five bodies of the Hawe family – four innocent victims murdered and their killer dead by suicide.

Mass murderer Hawe had left a number of letters with his explanation for his actions for the first witnesses to the scene.

Jacqueline said: “If Alan Hawe had had any decency, he would have killed all of us. But no, instead he killed Clodagh and the boys and given us a life sentence.

“He was about to fall off his pedestal and we know why. But he couldn’t face it so he murdered my sister, Mam’s precious daughter and murdered my nephews, Mam’s precious grandchildren, to save face.

“He has stolen all of their Christmases and ours. In a few weeks time they should’ve been opening their presents and sharing Christmas dinner with me and Mam and Gary.

“But instead the four of them are lying in their grave and their killer is lying right beside them.

“Alan Hawe had fooled us all, he had everyone fooled. We had no idea what we’d been dealing with, who Clodagh and the boys had been living with. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“The shock was incredible. We were so confused and stunned during the week arranging their funeral. That man ended up being buried with them. The horror of that, given what we know now, is indescribable.

Alan Hawe with his three sons Ryan (6), Liam (13) and Niall (11)

“We hope that some day we will be able to do justice for Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan. I hope one day they will rest together in peace. That’s the least they deserve.

“We always describe the boys as our wonderful boys because that’s just what they were; pure, lovely, kind, talented, intelligent and wonderful young boys. They were always so eager to please.

“And we know they were the people they were because of our beautiful Clodagh and the person she was and will always be in our hearts. She was so petite but she was a huge part of our lives. Sadly didn’t stand a chance that night.

“We don’t have the words to describe our pain. We are so broken but we must speak for Clodagh and the boys, tell her story, explain what happened and why she and the boys deserved none of it.

“We don’t believe that we are strong or brave but we must speak out to other women who are being controlled and don’t even know it. We now know how subtle the whole thing can be.

Flowers outside the home of the Hawe family at Oakdene, Barconey, Ballyjamesduff in Cavan (Photo: Philip Fitzpatrick)

“Clodagh’s last thoughts would have been for her boys, her last words would have been for her boys, her last hope on this earth would have been for her boys. We are haunted for the rest of our lives with thoughts of her begging for her life and for the lives of her children.

“She would have fought for her life so she could have fought for theirs.

“We feel sure her last words to Alan Hawe were: ‘Do not kill me or our boys,’ and we hope those words haunt that man for eternity.”

Jacqueline Connolly and Mary Coll received no payment for this article. A donation has been made to Women’s Aid, who are available on 1800 341 900

If you are affected by issues in this story please contact Samaritans on 116 123 or freecall Pieta House on 1800 247 247