Call 911 in an Emergency or if You or Someone Else is in Imminent Danger

Caution: Please be aware that phone, tablet, computer and other device activity may be monitored. It can be safer for victims and survivors to obtain information using a device a perpetrator does not have potential access to. For more information, visit or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline • 800.799.7233 or 800.787.3224 (TTY).

The key to preventing dating violence, domestic violence, sexual violence and misconduct, and stalking is for individuals who commit these crimes and misconduct to choose not to do so.

The Bottom Line

Federal and state laws and CSU/Cal State LA policies prohibit dating violence, domestic violence, sexual misconduct and violence, and stalking. This prohibition applies to students, employees, and others; as well as to conduct both on and off campus.

Perpetrators can be subject to sanctions, such as suspension, expulsion, termination, restitution, civil lawsuits, arrest, criminal prosecution, imprisonment, court-ordered fines, and other penalties.

Survivors have numerous rights granted by federal and state laws, including the right to: confidentiality; report crimes and misconduct to law enforcement and the Cal State LA Title IX Coordinator and Deputy Coordinators; be free of and protected from retaliation; and receive written information on their rights.

Campus support services include: crisis intervention; assistance with law enforcement and other notifications; interim safety measures; and academic, housing, work, and transportation accommodations, if requested and reasonably available.

Post harassing information about someone on the Internet, in chat rooms or other public places.

Do These Behaviors Sound Familiar?

If any of these behaviors sound familiar to how you act or how your partner or others react, it could be a red flag that you may be hurting them. This can be a difficult and unnerving realization to come to. By acknowledging now that your behaviors might be questionable and taking responsibility for them, you’re a step ahead in beginning to correct them.

Ending abuse and violence requires a commitment to change. What do you need to know? If you are abusive, understand that changing abusive behavior is a long and hard process that you cannot do alone. Though you may not know it, you rely on your beliefs and attitudes to justify your abusive behavior. With help, you can change and learn how to treat your partner with true respect. It’s extremely important that you get professional help through this process. Chat with a peer advocate at www.loveisrespect.org to find services in your local area; or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3223 (TTY). Batterer, sexual offender and child abuser intervention programs are also available. For Los Angeles County program directories, visit the County of Los Angeles Probation Department. For programs in other counties, visit the website of your local probation department.

Important Considerations About Consent

Consent is critical for all interactions with others. When it comes to sex, nonconsensual sexual conduct is a crime. The key to preventing sexual misconduct and violence is to ensure valid consent for all sexual conduct. It is the responsibility of each individual participating in a sexual encounter to ensure they have consent. Be aware that if you have not been given consent or if consent has been withdrawn – California law allows consent to be withdrawn at any time, including after penetration – sexual activity should not be initiated or must be immediately stopped.

When it comes to consent, keep in mind consent is based on:

Positive cooperation by each individual involved.

Based on personal choice.

Equality – Power differentials can imply lack of ability to consent.

Active participation in decision-making – Partner is not passive or silent.

Each person knowing the nature of the act involved.

Each person knowing the consequences associated with the sexual activity.

Understanding what the intimate act entails.

Respecting limits and boundaries.

Further, it’s equally important to consider the fact that:

Relationship status does not convey consent.

Relationship status (e.g., date, spouse), being “in love,” spending money on someone, giving or receiving gifts, helping someone with a project or prepare for an exam, receiving project or exam help, or any other circumstance does not:

Impart consent – whether it’s a hookup or marriage.

Obligate anyone to be sexually intimate with someone else if they don’t want to.

Entitle anyone to sex.

Even in a relationship, consent is required for all sexual conduct.

Requests for an individual to use a condom or a birth control method doesn't necessarily equate consent.

Depending on the genders of the individuals involved, this request may simply be an individual’s means for protection against sexually transmitted infections and/or unintended pregnancy.

Reducing Victimization Risk

General Risk Reduction

There is no strategy which offers an absolute guarantee of freedom from domestic and sexual violence victimization (remember, victims don't control nor are they responsible for the behavior of a perpetrator). However, awareness and knowledge are important tools for minimizing your risk or chances of becoming a victim of domestic and sexual violence.

Abusive relationships and even acquaintance rapes typically start off as any other relationship or social interaction; and there may initially be no obvious signs of the other person’s intent to harm. An abuser or acquaintance rapist will first do what it takes to gain trust or affection. They may test boundaries with seemingly “harmless” actions – name calling, invading personal space. Then coercion, alcohol and other drugs, isolation, violence and other means are used to control, abuse and sexually assault.

Individuals may be stalked by current and former intimate partners, acquaintances, strangers, family members, persons of authority, or others. Most people are sexually assaulted by someone they know.

Recognize Warning Signs

Knowing, recognizing and responding to warning signs are the first steps to reducing victimization risk.

Dating and Domestic Violence Warning Signs

In an abusive relationship, an abuser intentionally establishes fear in their intimate partner (current and former), family members, or someone he or she lives with to gain and maintain power and control over them. Abusers use a variety of strategies, both criminal and non-criminal, to manipulate and control, including: coercion and threats; economic abuse; emotional abuse; intimidation; isolation; using privilege; minimizing and denying the abuse; victim blaming; using children; and physical and sexual violence.

In addition to criminal domestic violence, abusive relationships are often associated with other crimes, such as battery, child abuse and neglect, child witnessing domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, terrorist threats, and other crimes.

Warning signs of dating violence and domestic violence include:

Telling you that you can never do anything right.

Embarrassing or shaming you with put-downs.

Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you.

Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children.

Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons.

Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away.

Controlling every penny spent in the household.

Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do.

Preventing you from working or attending school.

Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets.

Pressuring you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortable with.

Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members.

Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses.

Preventing you from making your own decisions.

Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol.

Physically and sexually assaulting you.

Sexual Violence Warning Signs

There is a wide array of behaviors that make up nonconsensual sexual conduct; from coercion to violence. Reproductive coercion – actions aimed at controlling someone’s reproductive health – is also a problem for many.

Warning signs of sexual abuse and violence include:

Forcing you to dress in a sexual way.

Insulting you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.

Forcing or manipulating you into having sex or performing sexual acts.

Holding you down during sex.

Involving other people in sexual activities with you against your will.

Purposefully trying to pass on a sexually transmitted disease to you.

Making you feel like you owe them - For example, because you're in a relationship, because you've had sex before, because they spent money on you or bought you a gift.

Giving you drugs and alcohol to "loosen up" your inhibitions.

Playing on the fact that you're in a relationship, saying things such as: "Sex is the way to prove your love for me," "If I don't get sex from you I'll get it somewhere else."

Continuing to pressure you after you say no.

Making you feel threatened or afraid of what might happen if you say no.

Refusing to "pull out" if that is the agreed upon method of birth control.

Forcing you to not use any birth control (for example, the pill, condom, shot, ring, etc.).

Threatening you or acting violent if you don't comply with their wishes to either end or continue a pregnancy.

Stalking Warning Signs

The majority of stalking victims know their stalker. Stalking is more than a nuisance. It is a crime that is a serious threat to personal safety. Episodes may last for years, escalate without intervention, and result in significant emotional, physical, and financial hardship. When violence is involved, stalking often results in lethal acts.

What Else Can You Do?

Trust your feelings. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Do what you can, including enlisting the help of others if needed, to get into a safer situation.

Stay sober and watch out for those who pressure you to drink or get high.

Plan for safety. Think ahead - do you have money for a taxi if you need to get home on your own? Have you asked friends to check in with you? If you're being abused and can't avoid the person abusing you, get help to develop a safety plan.

Get help when needed. If you think or know you are being abused, have been sexually assaulted, or are being stalked, help is available — on campus and in the community.

Am I being abused? Have I been sexually assaulted? Am I being stalked?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, first and foremost, know and believe that you didn't do anything wrong and you are not at fault. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. You are not the cause of the violence; nor are you to blame or responsible for someone else’s actions – no matter what a perpetrator may tell you.

Consider obtaining help to reduce your risk of harm. In addition to incident reporting, assistance is available from local law enforcement, University Police or the Cal State LA Title IX Coordinator. Think about getting safety planning assistance through a national hotline or local domestic and sexual violence survivor assistance agency.

Consider preserving evidence. Evidence preservation is important in the event you decide to report the crime, seek a protective/restraining order, or file a civil lawsuit immediately after a crime is committed or at a future date. Detailed evidence preservation tips, including information on the sexual assault forensic exam are available through 24-hour hotlines and law enforcement agencies. How evidence is preserved depends on circumstances. In all cases, documentation is important—documenting dates, times, witnesses, and descriptions of incidents in a journal or log. Also of importance is saving: clothing that was worn at the time of an assault in separate paper bags; threatening texts and emails; screenshots of online posts; and other evidence, such as unwanted gifts. Have injuries documented by a medical provider. Taking and saving pictures of injuries or vandalized property is also helpful. Keep in mind that if an incident will not be immediately reported to law enforcement or campus official (e.g., Title IX Coordinator), evidence should be kept in a safe place where a perpetrator is not likely to discover it.

Consider your options. You have the right to: report misconduct and the crimes committed against you; seek assistance from survivor assistance resources; preserve evidence and, if applicable, obtain the sexual assault forensic exam at no cost without a requirement to participate in the judicial system; obtain medical and mental health care; request protective/restraining orders; seek financial compensation for crime related losses; pursue additional rights and options. You also have the right to do nothing at all.

How Family, Friends and Bystanders Can Help

The Importance of Bystander Intervention

Do You Know Someone...

Whose behavior condones violence? Who is a perpetrator? Or do you see or hear inappropriate conduct or a domestic and sexual violence incident occurring?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, consider that there are many ways you, as an engaged bystander — an aware or concerned family member, friend, classmate, colleague, or stranger — can intervene. Be alert to warning signs and inappropriate conduct. Take responsibility to intervene, if safe to do so. Engage others for assistance when needed. If someone is in imminent danger or intervening in a situation will compromise your safety, call 911.

Based on circumstances, you might intervene by:

Respectfully calling attention to comments that condone or are examples of domestic and sexual violence.

Speaking out against inappropriate and criminal behavior in a manner that minimizes potential for escalation.

Helping extricate someone from a risky situation.

Causing a distraction that allows a potential victim to escape a risky situation.

On Campus, these officials may include University Police, Title IX Coordinator, Child Abuse Mandated Reporting Coordinator, Assistant Dean for Student Conduct, or Campus Security Authorities.

Off campus, these officials may include local law enforcement, a child protection hotline, or elder abuse hotline.

For additional bystander intervention tips, click on Intervening by NO MORE and Bystander Scenarios by NO MORE. Consult with law enforcement or a 24-hour hotline for guidance if you're not sure how to respond. Call 911 in an emergency or if you or someone else is in imminent danger.

Who is a victim or survivor?

If you answered yes to this question:

Show you CARE.

BELIEVE.

DON'T BLAME. Fault lies with the perpetrator.

LISTEN without passing judgment.

REINFORCE it's not their fault.

TALK about their rights and options.

RECOMMEND they preserve evidence.

HELP them get connected to a 24-hour hotline.

ENCOURAGE reporting, safety planning and self-care.

Offer SUPPORT without taking control.

ALLOW them to decide what is best for their situation.

WATCH for problems and respond.

If you’re not sure how to help your friend, family member, colleague or acquaintance, help is available 24/7 from the hotlines below. Call 911 in an emergency or if you or someone else is in imminent danger.