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I’ve really enjoyed writing and drawing this HBO story line. The whole series is archived here. I haven’t actually cancelled the free HBO, and thus it remains my fickle mistress. Last night I watched Se7en (despite already owning it on Blu-Ray and having never actually watched my copy), and a few reruns of Veep (which is seriously the smartest/funniest TV writing since Arrested Development), but I also watched about half of some god damn documentary about Beyonce.

Beyonce isn’t a great singer and she isn’t an “artist.” She’s a good singer and anyone (ANYONE) who sang about as well as she does and looked about as attractive as he is perceived to be COULD (not WOULD) have everything she has. None of those traits are a crime. Pop music and celebrity culture in general often reward the middle. Mediocrity keeps you in the public eye much longer than one hit wonders and lights that burn too bright. But, if you’re going to follow someone around with a camera crew for a year, it would be best if that someone were A) an interesting person, B) Not the C-estof C-Words to everyone that works for her and C) grounded in at least some fashion to a world where they haven’t been rich and famous their entire lives. Watching her live her “fabulous” life was just boring as all miserable fuck. Beyonce isn’t evil, but she oozes a sense of entitlement that (per my working theory) stems from being brought up in a wealthy family, then getting too famous and too rich at too young of an age to ever really relate to anyone who isn’t a superstar millionaire. In my opinion, Gwyenth Paltrow also fits into this category. They are both good at their jobs, but I doubt either would make for a fun addition to movie or game night. LET ME OFF OF YOUR PROGRAMMING QUALITY ROLLER COASTER, HBO YOU CONTEMPTIBLE SHREW! VEX ME NO LONGER!

COMMENTERS: Which celebrity do you think you would have the most fun actually hanging out with. Bonus points if your answer is Jon Hamm, because that is the correct answer. Who would be the least fun?

For me, I think the most fun would be Neil Patrick Harris. A day with NPH would be a day of race cars, laser tag, unicorns, and awesomeness. Least fun would probably be Trent Reznor. A day with Trent would be a day of getting pelted by various recording equipment, cutting crescent moon designs into our ankles, putting cigarettes out on each other’s foreheads, and misery.

I was operatin based on the concept of them just putting honey boo boo in a room with me, not the entire cast, if it was the entire cast, then yes, i would damn myself to life in prison for the sake of humanity

Dunno if he quite counts as a celebrity, but I would DIE if I got the chance to hang out with Steve Vai. He seems like a really cool guy, and he has every little thing a guitarist could ever be jealous of.

I want to say David Tennant, but I just don't know that it would be much fun for either of us after I wet myself with excitement. I bet Catherine Tate would be cool about it though. Probably wet herself in solidarity.

Least fun – I don't know, who's famously drunk these days? I don't get on well with drunks.

Best: Nathon Fillion. I imagine it might be fun to hang with Hugh Laurie too, but I could be way off base on that one.

Worst: I imagine (and from what I've read, most people agree) that Megan Fox is just the worst type of person. And I have difficulty envisioning Michael Bay and Tim Burton as anything other than self-aggrandizing pricks.

On an "actual experience" level, I spent Labor Day 2001 with OJ McDuffie (Miami Dolphins Wide Receiver, 1993-2000) at a backyard BBQ (friends with our neighbor), he was a chill guy, showed us some card tricks, played some football, good times.

Honestly, my two main choices would be Quentin Tarantino and Guillermo del Toro because…well screw it. It's Tarantino and del Toro! The day would turn into a film geek singularity!
However, if Jennifer Lawrence wanted to hang out and play board games, I think I could carve out some time for her.

Louis CK might be most fun, least fun, or both simultaneously. I'd still like to hang with him (or Jon Stewart or Lewis Black or Brian Posehn or Maria Bamford or Zach Galifinakis or Dmitri Martin or Flight of the Conchords…) for a day.

I have crazy straight man-love for David Boreanaz so a day with him would be like eating dinasaur flavored ice cream. And Russell Crowe is my nemesis, a miserable little pile of secrets. I hope his stroke-face gets pummeled by a coalition of actors who’ve played Robin Hood.

I never saw Veep but for me, the best writing since Arrested Development is definitely Archer. Actually, I think I almost consider it even better than Arrested Development. But like any smart comedy, you should start watching from the beginning to know the characters because that's all it's about.

The famous are to be avoided in real life, especially the ones you like. Politicians are charming sociopaths, actors are insecure, egotistical assholes, writers and directors are willful fascists, and scientists are strangely ignorant outside of their own specialties when they're not outright insane.

Basically, if you're driven enough that I've heard of you, you're probably horrible. "Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent." – Orwell.

I grew up next to a national laboratory and my dad worked there so occasionally I see someone on a documentary and say "hey, I had lunch with them as a snotty teenager." Nobody name-drop famous like Neil DeGrasse Tyson or anything though, just well regarded in their field. The ignorance is not really strange, it's a consequence of extreme focus. There's actually a bit of a demand right now for people who can be generalists, pick up enough of various fields to act as translators between them, or say "that equation looks familiar, I think Bob will know how to handle it."

I would go with Neil DeGrasse Tyson because I would love to have the *Police come break up an argument over whether or not Voyager has left the solar system or not. Second choice would be Mike Rowe, because I need somebody to dig up and replace my old septic system at gunpoint and he seems to be the best qualified.
*I capitalized police by mistake then let it go because it might be better to have a shirtless Sting burst into the house wielding a chysknife and shouting, "What's all this then?"

Back in 1991 I won a Coca-Cola contest and got to hang out with Donnie Wahlberg New Kids on the Block) for a day. I was only 13 years old but he is seriously one of the coolest people I've ever met. I'd repeat the experience today with added grown-up activities. 😉
As for least fun…. I'd have to go with someone who defines snobby narcissism and religious extremity. Tom Cruise.

The late, great Paul Newman at a race track. Actually, I've done this a bit. He loved being at the track, told me "Besides my own house, and the [Hole in the Wall Gang] camps, this is the only place I get to be me, not the movie star with my name." Gracious, generous, and possessed of a completely wicked sense of humor.

I've run across several celebrities who have gotten into racing and/or cars in some way, shape, or form. Good: Patrick Dempsey (really. Respected by the racers AND the race officials, but then he grew up in a racing family, so this isn't some new thing for him), Newman, Jay Leno (who has done some limited vintage racing but mostly just hangs out at car events), Alice Cooper (who is genuinely one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet), Brian Johnson from AC/DC (another amazing guy).

Indifferent: Tim Allen, Craig T. Nelson, David Letterman. No fun at all: Tom Cruise. Crash-prone: Jason Priestley (actually, he damn near died in an Infiniti Pro Series crash a few years back).

To add my late addition to the lists of good guest / bad Guest, here is my lists. Make of them what you will.

Good Guests: Whil Wheaton, though I haven't personally met him as yet. Good ole Ed Greenwood. Rick Green since he is both well read and a complete nut case, in a good way. Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis since I just would hate to break up that dynamic geek duo. William Shattner just because.

Bad Guests: Tom Cruise just on principle…. David Carradine because he hurt stunt people. Yes he was that full of himself (okay hes dead now but still)