Get Kidnapped on Purpose in Detroit, Michigan — Go Here

In certain parts of Detroit, it's a relatively easy task to get yourself kidnapped, pistol-whipped, or blasted in in the nuts with a stun gun. If it doesn't happen on it it's own though, you can always pay for it.

If you're a thrill seeker interested in experiencing the gut-wrenching terror of actually being abducted without actually being brutally killed and buried in a landfill somewhere on the outskirts of the Motor City, then Extreme Kidnapping might be just what you've been looking for.

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Like skydiving, bungee jumping or scuba diving, extreme kidnapping serves as a red-line outlet to get your adrenaline fix and push your psyche to new heights, without ever putting you in any real danger.

"This service caters to the extreme sports adventurer who is bored with what's currently available; this takes it to a whole other level," says Extreme Kidnapping owner, Adam Thick. “The kidnappings are very realistic, and not for the faint of heart, as every nuance and detail of an actual kidnapping is replicated to provide the most intense experience possible. If you don't feel like you're really being kidnapped and your life is in danger, then we're not doing our job.”

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In order to have an extreme kidnapping experience, you will first have to travel to Detroit, where you will sign all of the necessary waivers and pay for one of the three kidnapping scenario packages - ranging from $500-$1,200. That’s when it's time to start watching your back, because when you least expect it, they will be coming, armed with trout (yes, the fish), summer sausage and enough psychological warfare tactics to savagely rattle your nerves.

If you plan to have a go at this bizarre fantasy camp, you will first have to answer a series of questions to help extreme kidnapping fully customize your abduction, and level of torture. You would be well advised to not be too truthful in your answers, as it is possible, and highly likely, that your responses will be used against you; to terrorize you to borderline insanity and take you to a place where you may never return.

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Incidentally, it is worth mentioning that Thick and the rest of his extreme kidnapping henchmen have all served time in prison, but they warned us that if we dared mention it in our article, they would fly to New York and feed our editor’s penis to a school of diseased piranha. Do we look scared? We're protected, we're giving them a free ad they didn't even ask for. Right? We hope they see it that way, at least.