Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Phineas Taylor (P. T.) Barnham had an interesting perspective on life and humanity. He was the self-proclaimed inventor of the American Traveling Circus, the Greatest Show on Earth. He coined the phrase, "There's a sucker born every minute." On a smaller scale, there were medicine shows (portrayed above).

In the days of the old west, people traveled from place to place selling medicine -- usually a secret elixir or tonic that they guaranteed would put hair on your head if you were balding, removed stains from clothing, cured plague and would even mend a broken heart. If you weren't interested in those solutions to your problems, you could engage in a game of Three-Card Monty or try and decide where the pea rested in the "old shell game". The medicine itself usually contained small amounts of alcohol or laudanum (laudanum was opium mixed with alcohol). One famous recipe included the ubiquitous laudanum, sherry or wine, saffron, cinnamon and cloves. A few gulps made people feel terrific. The bottles sold for considerable money because of their magic curative properties.

Though I am NOT that old, I remember an organ grinder with a monkey who played on the Redondo Pier (Redondo Beach, California) when I was a kid. You gave the monkey a penny, he took it, doffed his little cap and kept the penny.

The Monkey Show provided a sense of entertainment. It was fun to be engaged by the monkey and the man grinding out tunes on his portable organ. You got something for your penny. No lies, no deceit. The Medicine Show was something different. It was a scheme, a scam, and was theft.

Today the most visible Medicine Show I know of can be witnessed on C-Span (political television channel) or simply by listening to an Obama speech. It makes you feel good, but doesn't do anything to make you feel better because it's largely based on a false product that the administration is selling.

I think I'd rather just have the Monkey Show where the monkey takes my money up front and I feel good about THAT.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

This time the hand of God appeared in Idaho on a rock face and it's being auctioned on e-bay. There was a purported shift in the Earth on Lent (March 8) of this year and the hand appeared in Paul Grayhek's (52) back yard. The hand is 9 feet tall and 4 feet wide and, according to Grayhek, appeared after he prayed for help after he lost his job.

Grayhek stated that he's not auctioning the hand of God to get rich - on the contrary, the auction is merely to spread His word.

Make of it what you will. Since today is a Sunday, I thought the story would either strengthen your faith or your resolve toward skepticism in the daily discovery-for-profit of God's face in every cloud, on every tortilla or on Paul Grayhek's rocks, behind his house.

Friday, April 24, 2009

If you are not from Mexico or the United States you may not appreciate the hysteria that erupts whenever the image of Jesus or the Virgin of Guadalupe appears on a flour tortilla (flat bread). People travel long distances to witness the miracles. Now there is a how-to-do-it guide on the Internet. CLICK HERE to get all the instructions you need to create your own miracle tortilla.

To learn more than you ever wanted to know about the face of Jesus appearing on tortillas, CLICK HERE.

I've heard rumors that Barack Obama is now appearing on pancakes across America. If his image shows up on a pancake next time I have them for breakfast, I'll photograph it for your edification before I toss it in the trash.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

What is the very worst job you can think of? What is the worst job you personally have ever had?

My list of bad jobs may not sound that bad:

Turkey catcher. At harvest time, before Thanksgiving you go into vast pens, catch really angry huge turkeys and haul the flapping bird whipping the amonia-smelling turkey dust to a trailer bounded by a very tall wire fence that encloses it. You must toss the turkey into the air over the top of the fence and down into the trailer. Usually there were 3,000-4,000 turkeys to enclosure.

Root cellar digger. Of all the jobs this may sound like the best but you had to do it under people's homes and shore up the walls so they - and the floors of the old homes - wouldn't collapse on you and bury you alive.

Docking sheep and cattle (before they had the elastic bands). It involves gelding the animals, putting tar-like disinfectant on the wound and putting a hot iron to new horns. Sheep brands are done in paint. Cattle brands are done on the flesh. The sheep and cattle are none too fond of the process. And yes, I know what Rocky Mountain oysters are.

Odds on the guy who owns the Viper and lives in the mobile home that's not mobile is:

(a) Single

(b) Dating attractive women.

(c) Having a lot of fun.

(d) Maybe going through a mid-life crisis. (because most young guys can't afford a Viper)

Which brings me to the subject of the so-called mid-life crisis. What is a mid-life crisis when one speaks of men? (I can't address the woman angle but there is one) I'll answer my own question.

Guys go through life doing what it is they think they're supposed to be doing until one morning they wake up and find that the hour glass is less than half full. They weren't able to do what it is they wanted to do, there isn't all THAT much life left and they are left to decide what is important to them. For some, it's a girlfriend half their age, a Viper, a divorce and so forth. For others its a grim wake-up call that they can't cheat the reaper but they go with what they have. And unless a guy is a happy idiot, he'll go through that thought process sooner or later.

Friday, April 10, 2009

What is it about mobile homes/trailers/coaches that attracts tornados like magnets? Seriously, why would you live in a trailer in tornado alley? It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull or spitting into the wind. The result of your decision is a forgone conclusion.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

In the past, I haven't seen much good in Hillary Clinton. Yes, she's a scorned woman. Yes, her husband performed the entire Kama Sutra with 10,000 other women while married to her. Yes, she has the reputation for being more attracted to women than she does to men. Now here's a motivational poster that explains it all to me.

Monday, April 6, 2009

California prohibits smoking in buildings open to the public. You get used to it if you live here.

When you are in many US states outside California or are in Europe or Latin America people smoke in restaurants, and more or less everywhere including medical offices or hospitals.

I visited a Chinese hospital a couple of years ago and literally everyone including the medical staff were smoking. There was no ventilation on the ward and the place felt as if somebody was piping automobile exhaust directly in. I found it odd.

I don't smoke, so there you have it. My prejudice is exposed!

Where do you feel your rights begin and a smoker's rights end (if you don't smoke). If you do smoke, do you feel that there are places where it would be better not to light up? Have you ever considered smokeless tobacco? If you are a non-smoker, have you ever had the urge to kiss somebody who is chewing tobacco? (curious)

It's simply how I feel this morning. Shakespeare was right when he wrote, "The first thing we must do is kill all the lawyers." (Henry the Sixth, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2)

For those of you who don't know me personally, I retired from the District Attorney's Office in Orange County, California two years ago. Orange County is located south of Los Angeles and people make reality television shows about people who hang out there. (Real Housewives of Orange County, The OC, Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County) So I do know lawyers. I simply have a stone in my shoe at the moment for the profession.

PS - None of the reality shows on television reflect reality - this comment has nothing to do with lawyers, but I felt that I needed to have some fine print in this blog.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

There is something about going to war on a horse, encased in armor that appeals to me. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Well, I know I'm not the only one. Somebody drew this picture (left) and it wasn't me.

Housekeeping

As of January 1, 2017 this blog began to receive anonymous posts. I try not to delete them, but if you want to be taken seriously here, you need to identify yourself, if only by some sort of cryptonym.

Welcome to Virtual Mirage

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad."

"How do you know I'm mad," asked Alice?

"You must be," said the cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

Good Morning

Virtual Mirage - What's on the other side of the mirror? Ask Alice how deep the rabbit hole really goes.

This blog is an extension of MY JOURNEY because sometimes my journey needs more explanation, and sometimes there is more to be said than can be expressed on one ordinary blog.

Sometimes it's politics (very serious), sometimes I address the human condition with a dose of humor, and other times it may seem as if the track is headed in a unique direction. I can be a complicated guy at times.

There are a few things you'll find I consider:

* Absence of proof is not proof of absence.

* Sometimes the questions are complex but the answers are simple.

* Love is the only condition where the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

* Steers do not sign treaties with meat packers. (think on that)

* Taxes are NEVER levied for the benefit of the taxed.

* The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no victory possible in defense.

WHITE POWDER (Novel)

There is something intoxicating about a secret.

THE OLD WHORE (NOVEL)

In the peculiar culture of the Central Intelligence Agency, "old whores" are people who will do whatever it takes to get the job done, irrespective of the cost.

EXILES FROM EDEN (NOVEL)

Sparks fly as two star-crossed lovers meet. He runs toward trouble as she yearns for something missing. And it ends in a flight from and toward justice.

About Me

Today, I balance work and play as much as anyone can. All things remaining equal, play is more important. Life is short - it's important to make every day count for something, if only to yourself.
I'm a former tinker/tailor/soldier/sailor who has now decided that maybe it really wasn't all done for nothing.

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