By Violet Daffordil

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The Devil

I’ve wanted to do a picture depicting a fight with pain. It’s something that a lot of people live with every single day and I am part of the group who deals with pain on a daily basis. There are some seriously strong souls in the world who deal with this struggle every single day. It’s not easy.. In my own personal journey, I’ve learned to really look towards those people who struggle like myself or worse with a high amount of respect. They’ve taught me to be a better person and really how to deal with my own evil demons that I fight every day.

In the major arcana, the devil card represents the negative forces that restrain you. It’s the fears, addictions, and impulses in each of us. We have the power to over come them, but the devil controls us–when we allow him to. Much like this card, pain can control our emotions, when we allow it to. We have the power to breath and take a minute for ourselves. We have the power to over come pain by allowing positivity in our life, recognizing the pain but not giving it the power to control our emotions and behaviors. It’s easy to lash out at people, when you’re in pain. It takes strength to walk away, when people upset you, rather then unleashing your anger on the people around you. The people who are around you will ultimately be the ones that you’ll need on your hardest of days. So you can’t let the devil completely beat you, rather you have to fight its power with your own. And I am lucky that medical intervention may be able to help me fight.

I’m lucky in the sense that I have a chance at beating my pain with surgery. I’m bringing this up because I will be scheduling surgery soon. And I will be away from my blog for a little while. I will inform everyone of that information, as soon as it is available to me. But for now, in the evening, I am usually fighting the good fight against it.

In the past few months or so, my own pain has knocked me down. It has stolen my time. It has stolen my emotions. It has stolen me completely. In the above photo, it represents the evil that is pain. And I am fighting it in a losing battle. The thing about chronic pain is that sometimes you don’t beat it. You just call a draw at the point of exhaustion. Then you wake up again and deal with it all over again. It’s draining, frustrating, and infuriating. I do not wish physical pain on my worst enemy. It’s bigger than I am. It blinds me to reason and steals my voice in the haze of medications. I could never put into words the true evil that pain is. It is indeed a fight with the devil.

Every person fights their own demons. This one is mine. It is second life in which that I can artistically create an image that depicts exactly how I feel. That girl is me.. that skeleton is my own hell on Earth. I know that many, many, many people go through there own battles to include pain. In banding together, we lose the empty room and find others just like ourselves. This picture is dedicated to every person with their own demons who fight them every single day. You are not invisible. And… you’re not fighting alone. My picture doesn’t show the people behind me, fighting alongside me. BUT, they are there. Keep fighting the good fight.

Now to help me fight the good fight, some very wonderful designers created some fantastic things. My skeleton is from a previous gacha by clueless. My dress is by Eliavah, which is available at the crystal heart fair. I waited to blog this for a little while because getting into the event was difficult. I really do love this outfit. My stockings are from Blueberry and my boots are available at !Rebel Hope’s mainstore. Finally, my hair is from stealthic, which goes by the awesome name of Sensual. My pose is available at this round of the Pose Fair by Bauhaus Movement. I can not gush enough about Eliavah’s awesome work and Bauhaus Movement’s sick poses. If you’re interested in any of these items, please check out my credits.

Before I end this, I want people to know that I take drugs in the evening. My pain has increased. So I’m asking everyone to please have patience with me. My thought process is slowed and I’m not always at my best in the evening unfortunately. Thank you.