Please note: If you are particularly prudish and find it unseemly to discuss undergarments, you may want to skip this post. Because it is about just that. Underwear. Just so you know.

Normally, I wouldn’t dedicate an entire blog post to ugly undergarments, but since I have nothing better to talk about, I’m writing a blog post on ugly undergarments.

Specifically, thongs.

Who invented thongs? Who thought it would be a good idea to leave our butt cheeks exposed while we… flossed… down there? HM? REALLY?

I bet it was a man.

A sick, twisted, slightly frightening man who thought it’d be hot. Who thought it’d be better than seeing panty lines as he stared at the butts of women passing through the park while he sat on his lonely little bench eating his butter and blogna sandwich.

Bleh.

What’s the big deal about panty-lines anyway? I mean, unless you’re wearing a slinky dress where panty lines would just be tacky, I don’t know what the big deal is. So what. People see your panty-lines. People know you’re wearing underwear.

GASP!

Personally, I think I feel more secure with the thought that people KNOW I’m wearing undies than THINKING that I’m goin’ all commando underneath.

I mean, ew. The only thing worse than wearing a thong is wearing nothing at all.

But then again, a thong doesn’t exactly cover much. Seriously. Shoving a Kleenex down your pants would be just as effective. And I mean, COME-ON. Show of hands. Who HASN’T gotten a wedgie while wearing a thong? Yeah. It’s impossible NOT to get a wedgie while wearing a thong.

Do you realize where that thong sits all day?

EW!!! What’s the point, people?

It’s not sexy, it’s not comfortable, it’s purpose is silly and the execution is flawed.

I’ve had girlfriends try to talk me into using them. I always refused. And honestly, not to be mean, but I always looked at those girls a little differently after I found out they were pro-thong.

(Insert full body shiver here.)

The person that came up with this concept should be shot. For no other reason than the fact that their idea was just “icky”.

2 responses to “The “Ick” Factor”

As an over-weight senior citizen who wears ‘old lady underpants’, I think I agree with you. However, if I were 18 again, and 115 lbs. again, I might, notice I said MIGHT, try them. At least to get a better perspective, you know. (does any of that make sense to you?)