May 20th, 2012, 10:19 am

My daughter is now 16 days old and I feel like I’m living in an alternate universe. My days revolve around keeping track of how many times this small version of me poos and pees, singing silly songs about poos and pees and washing poos and pees off my Dudes on Hockey t-shirt, which appears to be her favorite target….not sure what she’s saying about our podcast….

I’m also pretty sure that I feel fairly poopy and pee-pee about the LA Kings making the Stanley Cup Finals, which is a virtual certainty at this point. Is this really happening? Are the Sharks really keeping T-Mac as head coach and thinking that adding Bryan Marchment will fix the disturbing penalty kill? Why am I still covered in doo-doo?

As I stumble into next weeks podcast, we are creating two Dudes on Hockey award categories and we would like your help in forming the nominations. Let us know your nominees in the comment thread below and we’ll run with it.

KING DOUCHEBAG

What NHL player is the lamest, either on or off the ice? An obvious nominee would be Patrick Kane, for his drunken escapade after Round One in the playoffs coupled with his classic Vancouver limo incident and punching a cab driver in the face in his native Buffalo. Plus he’s just a tool in general. That’s my nominee.

Who is your King Douchebag? State your case and provide your evidence.

THE DIRTY DIAPER AWARD

Which current San Jose Shark player would you like to see NOT return next season. No rules apply here, no logic, or trade clauses. Just you being able to toss this player into the Diaper Champ like a nutty surprise on the NHL landfill. With the new CBA, there could be an amnesty clause that would allow you to dispose of this dirty diaper. You could also choose to not resign this players soiled baby shorts as a UFA or RFA.

Who is your Dirty Diaper and why do they stand out from the other Pamper nightmares?

We will be back next week. Until then, my hockey friends…I reek of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.