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Hello there. I am extremely worried that I have contracted HIV. I am 25 years old and over my period of growth I had developed paranoid schizophrenia thanks to some horrifying events in my life. Putting my mental condition aside, my current situation is driving me off the edge to suicide. If you have the time, please assess my risk factors according to my scenario.

I recently visited a massage parlor in Auckland (First & only time, thanks to a recent breakup with the woman I truly love) and received an unprotected handjob from a lady. I was naked and the lady was naked as well. Apart from the handjob for 30 minutes, nothing else happened. She had fingered herself for sometime and probably had some vaginal fluids on her hand when she was performing the handjob on me. There must have been a time gap of 15-30 seconds between her fingering herself and her performing the handjob on me. She also used some body oil for the handjob. I am afraid that the oil might have some surviving HIV and I might have contracted it through the oil massage on my penis. Now, please help me assess my risk factors, in case the parlor lady is indeed HIV positive,

1) Would I be infected with HIV when she performed a handjob on me while she had her vaginal fluids on her hand?

2) If the oil had HIV from previous customers, would I be infected as well through the handjob?

3) Should I get tested for HIV? At http://fastest.co.nz/ (Which provides HIV results in 20 minutes for free)

4) There was no vaginal sex, anal sex or oral sex involved. It was only a handjob mentioned in the current scenario. Is it even possible to get HIV through hand jobs? (She had no cuts on her and even I didn't have any cuts on me.)

Please let me know if I am at a risk. I haven't had any sleep since the incident (Which happened almost a week ago) and my health is going down the drain thanks to my anxiety. I am pretty sure now, that I will never go ahead with such moments again. If indeed, I am HIV positive, I have no other choice but to suicide. I am sorry if I am being annoying in anyway. I also apologize beforehand, if you find me highly ignorant regarding the issue of HIV infection. Thanks in Advance.

1. Absolutely not. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason you have no reason to be concerned about vaginal fluids on her hands or in the oil.

2. Absolutely not. See answer #1 above.

3. Any sexually active adult should be having a full sexual health check up at least once a year, although you do not need to test specifically following this NO RISK encounter.

4. Not one person has ever been infected through getting a handjob and you aren't going to be the first. No way, no how.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING A NO RISK HANDJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hello Ann, I so admire the guidance you and your colleagues are providing to people around the world. Seriously, I salute your commitment. Thanks for your direct and informative answer. After reading all the materials on this website related to HIV, my mind is at ease. Please let me tell you about my history. I never had sex with my ex Girlfriend and every physical contact we had together was casual. And on top of that, before we even considered having casual contact with each other (Like Fellatio, Kissing and Hugging naked), we both clinically tested to be HIV negative. And both of us never had any relationships outside our own relationship. So, I believe there is no risk of HIV at all. And she was the only woman in my life.

Now, the current massage parlor handjob incident is the only time where I had casual contact with another woman. And the whole incident occurred exactly as I have mentioned. I remember it clearly because I don't drink and I am with my senses all the time. Hence, with respect, to my current situation you've stated that I am at no risk of HIV infection. And you've also stated that I don't need to go for a HIV test. And to be honest, I am a virgin and never had sex in any form possible. And even in the future, I will not have sex till I am sure that my partner and I are both tested negatively for HIV.

I am stating my entire history related to my virginity because you've stated that " Any sexually active adult should be having a full sexual health check up at least once a year". So, in your rational belief, as per my case, do I go ahead for a HIV rapid test or just forget about the whole incident and move on with my life with no more unnecessary thoughts?

Note:- And also, I've never been in any form of contact in my life apart from the two women mentioned in this post. And all my physical contacts with women have been casual and nothing more than that.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

From 3 days I have been having mild pain and tingling feeling in my knee caps. I don't have pain anywhere else in my body though. I never had knee pains before in my entire life. And yesterday, I had a mild fever which lasted a day. I don't have the fever anymore but, my knee caps are still aching and tingling mildly. It feels as if the muscle and cartilage in my knee area seems to be tightened up. Plus I have loose stools from 2 days not diarrhea though. After Ann's opinion regarding my entire sexual history, my mind was at ease and I forgot about the whole incident and I didn't even bother for testing myself. But, after the sudden fever for a day and aching knee caps got me concerned again. Could I please have your expert opinions on this?

I booked a free Rapid HIV Test on February 11th conducted by the New Zealand government. February 11th would be the 22nd day from the day I received my first and only no risk Handjob. Please enlighten me with your opinions. Is the 22nd mark good enough for a rapid HIV test?

Thanks for your reply RapidRod. All of a sudden my fever is back right now and I feel weak as well. Anyhow, since you said that this is not an HIV issue at all, I will take your word for it.

I forgot to mention a detail in my previous posts. When the parlor lady was giving me a handjob, we both were naked and she was sitting on my thigh. Therefore, her vagina was very close to my scrotum while she was giving me the handjob. However, there was no contact at all between her and my genitals. Would this pose as a risk for HIV to fly and get into my peehole since her vagina was close to my scrotum??

Hiv does NOT "fly". In medical parlance, it is NOT an "airborne" virus. If it were, nearly everyone in the world would be hiv positive by now.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

But wait a minute - I already explained this to you in my first reply. Please re-read your entire thread.

You absolutely have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with a virus for which you have NOT been at risk.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hello Ann, I am sorry for being ignorant about all this. It's just that my flu like symptoms got me worried. You are right, I will go and see a doctor soon. I will keep you guys posted about my situation. And I hope my incident provides some form of information for others who are worried as well. Thank you, once again.

Hello experts, I have understood, as per your advice, that all my physical contacts with women in my entire life have been casual and no risk in regards with HIV. But, the recent changes in my body are driving me insane. As I mentioned earlier, I had a mild fever for 2 days and loose stool for 1 day. Now, I don't have any fever or problem with loose stools. The mild pain in my knees is my only concern now. Apart from the strain feeling in my legs, I have no other problem at all. And I never had this problem before either. Please enlighten me with your advice. If a person is going through a seroconversion process:

1. Do they experience discomfort in the knee joints?

2. Do the part of the legs below the knee area up to the feet swell up slightly?

3. Do the part of the legs below the knee area up to the feet feel strained, like muscles being tightened up?

Recently, I have noticed that there is slight swelling in my legs starting behind the knee area to the top of the feet area. (Which includes the backside of my shin area as well.) I have little to no problem while walking around but, I feel the strain mostly when I am sitting down on a chair. I am literally freaking out at the moment. I sure hope I don't turn out to be the first person in the world to be infected with HIV through a handjob incident. I seriously do not want to consult any other websites and unnecessarily fuel my irrational fears through incorrect information. Please, please, let me know if during seroconversion do people go through discomforts that I've mentioned in this post?

In any case, I will be getting myself tested through a Rapid Test on February 11th. Which is the 22nd day mark. Would a 22nd day mark HIV rapid test be conclusive? Please don't be mad at me if you find my queries silly. Thanks, once again, for your patience and guidance.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with a virus for which you have not been at risk.

You may test at any time for a conclusive result. You have not had a risk for hiv.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hello Experts, First off, I would like to thank you for your advice regarding my earlier query. I was suffering from anxiety and I got myself tested for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and HIV at my local government's sexual health service center in Auckland after 22 days of what I thought was a possible exposure. All the tests came back negative. After the results came out, there was a counselling session. During the respective session I had asked them about the window period. They told me that, getting tested for all STDs between 3-4 weeks time after possible exposure is conclusive, 100% accurate and all tests are internationally approved. They did tell me that, just for personal mental satisfaction, I could get tested again at the 3 month but, it's not necessary at all. It would be great if you guys could give your opinions as well.

1. Do you think what the counselor told me is true? That STD tests, including HIV tests, are 100% conclusive at the 3-4 week mark?

2. Do I get tested again at the 3 month mark for HIV to get an absolute conclusive result or is it not required at all?

3. During the counselling session, the counselor told me that my activities were low risk but, here on this forum it has been confirmed as no risk activities. Why is there always different risk level assessment for handjobs? Some say it's no risk and others say it's a low risk activity.

4. The tests I was made to go through were rapid tests and all the results were ready in 20-30 minutes. Are these kind of tests reliable or do I need to go for some other specific types of STD testing?

I would like to thank you guys in advance for your opinions. I hope, I am not breaking any forum rules at the moment. I apologize, If I am breaking some forum rules unwillingly.

Hello Jeff, Thank you for your reply. So, can I take my recent HIV negative result as 100% conclusive and move on with my life? And there is no need to get myself tested at the 3 month mark at all, despite of certain lingering symptoms? I will just follow your next statement and do as you tell me.

Hello Jeff, Thank you for your reply. So, can I take my recent HIV negative result as 100% conclusive and move on with my life? And there is no need to the test at the 3 month mark at all? I will just follow your next statement and do as you tell me.

Thank you.

You are HIV negative and didn't have a risk . Go live your life and put this behind you , best of luck and happiness to you !

Hello again experts, Recently, I had another potential risk event. Please provide me with your advice. I met a woman at a local party. We spoke for a while and decided to get some privacy. In her room, I was totally naked and she was topless while wearing her hipsters the whole time. We were fondling with each other but, there was NO kissing at all. There was NO sex or oral sex at all as well. We both were cautious as we were not intoxicated. But, there was a lot of hand to genital action from her on me. My concern starts from here.

Two days ago, I hurt myself at work and got a scrape on my arm, just below the elbow region. I bled for a while then, I cleaned the minor wound and put on a band aid. Today, during our fondling moment, my band aid came off. I might have been bleeding but, I am not sure at all cos' there was no visible blood anywhere. But, when I checked out my scrape, I felt as if there is a thin layer of skin above the scrape and I could see blood through it. But, there was no visible bleeding. And I am sure that she wasn't bleeding at all since, I checked her body twice after my realization. But, I was concerned when I saw 2 big circular black marks on her back. They must have been 3 CMs in radius each. And she also had some tiny black marks on other parts of her body as well. This is where I really got scared. Let's consider that she is HIV+. We rolled a lot on her bed and I am sure my band aid was off at that time. She also had a few dried wound marks on her body. Is there any possible way I could contract HIV in this particular scenario?

Please let me know:

1) Do I get myself tested for HIV over this incident? I am still a virgin by the way.

2) If somehow some of her bodily fluids fell on the bed and my scrape came in contact with these fluids while we rolled around on the bed, would it be a concern for HIV?

3) If she had some fluids on her hand and she touched my scrape with the same hand, would that be a concern for HIV?

I am sorry if my concerns are being redundant. Most of the time my paranoia gets the best of me. Thanks for your patience and advice in advance.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I am sorry if I've angered you jkinatl2. I have read everything replied to me on this thread. And as far as I know it was related to the handjob and the oil. I am not concerned about the fondling and the handjob tbh. I was only concerned about the scrape I have near my elbow. Again, I am sorry, angering anyone was not my intention.

It is not a question of "angering" anyone here. It's a matter of you apparently not paying any real attention to what has been said to you about risk and non-risk.

For a last time, HIV is a fragile virus and not easy to transmit. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are used properly everytime for those activities you will be well protected.

Now stop creating problems to worry about unnecessarily and get on with your life. You do not have an HIV problem. Period.