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[Dorothy is seeking Rose and Blanche’s
opinion of her outfit]Dorothy: “Okay, girls, which goes better,
the silver chain or the pearls?”
Rose: “The chain.”
Blanche: “An amateur’s mistake. Can’t you
see that the chain accentuates the many folds
of that turkey-like neck?”
Rose: “Well, that may be, but the pearls
draw attention to the non-existent bosom.”
Blanche: “Yes, but the chain leads the eye
even lower, to that huge spare tire jutting out
over those square, manly hips.”
Dorothy: “Why don’t I just wear a sign that
says ‘Too Ugly to Live’?”
Blanche: “Fine. But what are you going to
hang it from, the pearls or the chain?”
Dorothy: “Neither! I’m going to spray paint
it on my hump!”

[Dorothy is seeking Rose and Blanche’s
opinion of her outfit]Dorothy: “Okay, girls, which goes better,
the silver chain or the pearls?”
Rose: “The chain.”
Blanche: “An amateur’s mistake. Can’t you
see that the chain accentuates the many folds
of that turkey-like neck?”
Rose: “Well, that may be, but the pearls
draw attention to the non-existent bosom.”
Blanche: “Yes, but the chain leads the eye
even lower, to that huge spare tire jutting out
over those square, manly hips.”
Dorothy: “Why don’t I just wear a sign that
says ‘Too Ugly to Live’?”
Blanche: “Fine. But what are you going to
hang it from, the pearls or the chain?”
Dorothy: “Neither! I’m going to spray paint
it on my hump!”

Oh god, that was funny! You really have to hand it to Bea Arthur for being such a good sport about all of the cracks that were made about Dorothy!

The girls are reflecting back on a trip to the store and contemplating getting condoms for a cruise they are taking with their boyfriends.

Dorothy: Maybe it's a good idea to get, you know, protection. (She gestures over to a wall of products, hidden by the audience.)
Rose: An enema bag?
Dorothy: No, to the left.
Rose: A Nestle's Crunch?
Dorothy: Condoms, Rose. Condoms, condoms!!
Clerk at the register: Take it easy lady, you just get out of prison?

The girls are reflecting back on a trip to the store and contemplating getting condoms for a cruise they are taking with their boyfriends.

Dorothy: Maybe it's a good idea to get, you know, protection. (She gestures over to a wall of products, hidden by the audience.)
Rose: An enema bag?
Dorothy: No, to the left.
Rose: A Nestle's Crunch?
Dorothy: Condoms, Rose. Condoms, condoms!!
Clerk at the register: Take it easy lady, you just get out of prison?

I laugh hysterically at this scene!

This is one of my favorite scenes, too!!! But you forgot to add "Dentu-grip" to the list of products Rose mentioned!!!

Rose: Blanche, I think you owe Dorothy an apology.
Blanche: Oh Shut up Rose!
Rose: Don't you tell me to shut up!
Sophia: Fine, I will, shut up Rose!
Rose: You see Doctor, they're alwaying picking on me, they always tell me to shut up. Why is this?
Psychiatrist: Well, Rose I think it's...
Rose: [interupts him] I mean, everytime I open my mouth to express my opinion, they jump on me.
Psychiatrist: Rose...
Rose: [interupts him again] Everytime I try to make a statement they step on me.
Psychiatrist: Rose...
Rose: [interupts him again] I mean, they say I babble, I don't babble, the people who babble are...
Psychiatrist: [interupts her] SHUT UP ROSE!

[The roof to the house is leaking]
Blanche: “Wait! Is that my Cabana Club
beach towel?”
Rose: “You mean the one with the naked
couple being swept up in the waves?”
Blanche: “Yes! You can’t use this towel?”
Dorothy: “Please, Blanche, this is an
emergency!”
Blanche: “No, I have too many fond
memories attached to this towel!”
Dorothy: “Blanche, I’m in no mood to hear
about the endless parade of sexual
encounters you have experienced up and
down the Florida coastline, with nothing but
this towel between your hot flesh and the
cold, wet sand!”
Blanche: “Dorothy, I brought my baby son
Skippy home from the hospital in this
towel.”
Dorothy: “You’re lying, Blanche!”
Blanche: “Damn, you’re good!”

Rose: “I would have died if I’d ever caught
my parents having sex!”
Dorothy: “You never walked in on them?”
Rose: “Once. But they were only playing
leap frog.”
Sophia: “You walked in on your father and
me once. Do you remember what I told
you?”

Dorothy: “After a while, you feel like you’re
in this gigantic, black hole.”
Rose: “We had a gigantic black hole back in
St. Olaf.”
Sophia: “Oh, God!”
Rose: “Right in front of the courthouse
where Charlie and I got our marriage
license, and our permit to have kids. Oh, it
was a lovely hole. Everybody in town would
stand around and look into it.”
Dorothy: “And they say Hollywood is the
entertainment capital of the world.”
Rose: “Well, we didn’t just look.
Sometimes, we’d point, too. Or spit and then
time it. And then there was the guy who’d
always unzip himself…”

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