Not a whole lot of sleeping going on tonight, and that sucks, but there’s a blessing in there as well. In the midst of the day, it’s like being in traffic. It’s noisy and you can’t really hear anything except for all the crap going on.

It’s in the quiet you hear the most. So early it’s pretty much still night.

The chain on the ceiling fan is a metronome.

Humming from the AC and the air purifier.

Slow, rhythmic snoring from my wife every once in a while.

That’s when you can hear from God the most, too. It’s the best time for a conversation.

So I’m grateful for those unintentional late night conversations. It’s like being able to call dad for consolation and wisdom.

Or to just talk.

Something else worth mentioning is that I’m so grateful for God moving convictions in my wife and I separately, that end up the same in the end. And we didn’t consult one another, just ended up that way.

Today I woke thinking of a few things in particular I’m grateful for, because I think these things made a huge difference in my life.

I’m grateful my family grew up fairly low income. I learned some valuable lessons about life because of it; namely how to be poor. At least monetarily. Although thanks to my sisters it didn’t feel that way. They took care of me, and they did a great job.

I’m grateful for my wonderful sisters. They quite literally saved my life, and taught me so much about how to treat people, especially women and girls. I love them.

And I’m grateful for my marriage. My wife is the most incredible person I know. We have the same problems everyone does, but she’s so full of grace…every day she makes me want to be better. Every day she makes me smile. Every day she shows me a little bit of Jesus.

Honestly, this is not one of those mornings I wake up in a great mood feeling super grateful. I’m tired, and I’m not looking forward to going to work. But doing this every day is forcing a little perspective on me, and even when I might not feel like I’m having a good day, I can still be grateful.

So I’m sitting here and I decided to list some things in my life that are good, or things that I like or are looking forward to.

Saw a post on Facebook that there’s a business opening called “Get Air Yuma” and I know my boys will love it

My son’s Pop Warner team has a playoff game this weekend. They are undefeated and haven’t been scored on. It means we’ll miss a friend’s thing we wanted to go to, but this is the good stuff, and you can’t get it back

We had chicken wings and baked potatoes with my wife’s cousin last night. I love her, and I wish she and her husband still lived here

I have a job, and a whole lot of people don’t

In Joel 2:25, God promises to repay the years the locust has eaten. There’s more to it, but that’s the part that sticks with me—and that I’m thinking of today. It’s a big pile of years. On my own, it’s gone. Lost. I can do nothing. Thankfully, God is in the business of redeeming the lost.

Maybe I am grateful for all these things. And more. This is how I look at 0330. I’m grateful for this, too, because it means I woke up. Gray beard, puffy eyes and all.

It could be lots of things. Look at those Egyptian tombs or pyramids: piles of gold and jewels everywhere, mummified cats. Mummified people.

I don’t care about that. My circle is small, and probably no one will know me except the people in it. And that’s ok with me.

I want people to think of me as the guy who worked hard, but not too hard.

I want to be the guy who put his family before his self. I want to be the guy who loved his wife and honored her the way God wanted him to.

I want to be the guy who told people about Jesus. I want to be the guy who showed him to them with his life. I may have spent a great deal of my life sucking at that, but not anymore.

Don’t misread this, but I want to be the guy who is Jesus to his kids–in the sense that I will be anyway. It may not be intentional, but their image of Jesus is affected by their image of me. Their ability to relate to Jesus is in part formed by how they relate to me. No longer will I be pissy with them because of some stupid me thing.

That’s not showing them anything of use. That’s not showing them Jesus or anything he represents.

He came not be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many (Matt 20:28).

I want my kids to know that while they are not my life, I’d gladly give it for them. I want them to know what is really important.

So with that in mind, why would I get caught up in thinking of some stupid thing I might not be able to do when I want to do it because of something else?

That’s junk, like my kids would both say.

Makes me think of a book that football player Gayle Sayers wrote many years ago. “I am Third.”

I want to be the guy that is intentionally third. God being first, family and friends second.