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From Hands to Hair

In my previous two posts, I wrote about hands and how hand writing is a great way to describe a person without making it sound like a list. Another effective way to describe a person or character is to write about their hair. In Sandra Cisneros book, The House on Mango Street, the chapter titled, Hairs, is a perfect mentor text. With students, I sometimes introduce hair writing as a quickwrite even before I bring them to the gathering area to show them mentor texts. I like to enlarge text samples to poster-size and hang them side-by-side so we can quickly compare and contrast the different pieces. Again, I love to use Barry Lane's line, "What sticks with you?" It helps kids to quickly zero in on craft. Below is my most recent attempt at hair writing.

Sam’s hair was everywhere. Long blond strands that stuck to furniture, carpets, and sweaters. I was forever finding hairs on my fleece pull-overs. As I removed each pale thread, I liked knowing that a piece of her had stuck to me. Her shower drain was disgusting. About every two months, I had to remove the stopper and dig out all the yellow hairy muck and pour in Liquid Plummer. I tried using a cover to catch all the hairs but it only helped a little. I haven’t had to clean that drain since she left for college.

10 comments:

Barry Lane pack a lot of useful information into that book. I cant' wait to try this descriptive process with my first graders. We need a break from writing stories and this is the perfect way to practice observational writing. Thank you.

Did you know there is a picture book Hairs by Cisneros? It is written in English and Spanish. It is the same as the entry in the The House on Mango Street. Great for visualizing. Love the description in the drain. EWWW!!!!

You've managed to be funny & sad in your writing-a gift! In those short words I see very well that you miss this daughter so much. I also am happy to find your website! I haven't found many lit coaches out there, so am looking forward to exploring your site.

You have done a remarkable job of infusing this piece with the paradox of relief and longing. You describe the shower drain as disgusting, but when you share that you haven't had to clean it since Sam went to college, I sense you also miss that disgusting drain.

Did you know there is even a picture book of the text of just the Hairs chapter of her book? Sandra Cisneros is so much fun to use as a writing mentor! I have my students use her story Salvador, Late or Early to write character sketches. I love your idea for using the topic as a springboard.

Oh, our chidren grow too fast. I love the line "I liked knowing that a piece of her had stuck to me." It has a double meaning - not just her hair, but her heart too. Thanks for posting you great ideas. I'm storing them up to use on a class. :)MaryHelen