Saturday, January 29, 2011

Another plank of the dreaded "homosexual agenda" has been leaked to the press. As you read this post evil but fashionably attired scientists are working to create a race of genetically manipulated gay super babies.

That's right. You see, gay parents have grown tired of anxiously waiting to find out if their kids are going to share their love of Joan Crawford film festivals and classic Prada slingbacks. They want to take the guess work out of discovering what team little Finster will play for. And despite our best efforts of using Madonna's Immaculate Collection album as lullabuy music and telling the kids Bert is Ernie's special friend, some of them still turn out (gasp) straight.

Now of course I'm being just a little sarcastic. This is all science fiction, and is posted on World Nut Net Daily, where good ideas go to die. But they are actually posing the possibility that in the future, gay couples will use genetic engineering to incorporate "gay genes" into embryos they create in the lab and dispose of the straight ones, creating children in their own gay images. The reason for this thought exercise is say that by the time this technology becomes available in the near future, the rights of "procreative freedom" as it relates to embryo selection may be protected by the Supreme Court. Of course we won't get rid of all the straight ones. Who's going to explain football? Oh right lesbians. Hmm.

In my humble and greatly biased opinion, this stuff gets posted on conservative sites like WND to rile up the base. This story has the double advantage of playing to the "Save the Embryos" crowd while also repeating the story that the gays are coming after the children. The net effect is one of mock horror and certainly isn't going to put the average user of such a website in a pro gay family state of mind.

We're parents. We want our kids to grow up healthy, well adjusted, and happy. What if they're gay? is last thing on most of our minds.

On the other hand, these are the same people who deny the existence of a "gay gene" and tell us it's a choice. Can't have it both ways now, can you? Besides, if the true "gay gene" is ever isolated, I wonder if they would suddenly be in favor of "deleting" it?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cover your children's eyes. We're out of milk, and headed to the grocery store.

Harp's supermarket in Arkansas is fighting the good fight and protecting the children by placing a "family shield" over the latest US magazine cover at the check stands. These shields are normally used to cover up unsavory images like giant breasts or Joan Rivers' loose neck skin so little kids don't see them. After all, Arkansas narrowly escaped the Rapture last week as thousands of dead birds fell from the sky, so they're on high alert down there and not taking any chances. The children must be protected.

This particular picture is a family portrait of Elton John, his partner David Furnish, and their one month old son born on Christmas day via surrogacy. Arkansas is like America's electric typewriter...you can't bear to throw it away, but it's outdated technology that has ceased to be useful and doesn't fit modern life. I would go out on a judgemental limb and say most people there don't (think) they know any gay people let alone children with gay parents. And we must protect the children.

All children? Not really. I know the good people of Arkansas don't want to answer questions from their kids about how two men who aren't even cousins could have a baby.﻿ That would confuse them. But what about my kid? Or the kids of any same sex couple? How do they feel when they ask why the magazine is covered and they find out it's because it shows a reflection of their own families? And if the store has to cover up a magazine with a family picture on it, what happens when an actual gay parented family walks in? Here they are in the flesh. How do the normal customers explain that to the kids? I guess mom grits both of her teeth and shuffles the kids out of Harps and down to the Interstate where the meat is just as fresh but free for the taking. Without reality and modern life staring them in the face.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

One post so far in January is pretty pathetic. I keep telling myself to write more, but then I find I don't have a topic. I think I've realized why--Facebook. I jot down thoughts on Facebook which sap my will to write a blog post. Facebook is like a blogger's crack. Sure you feel good in short quick bursts but in the end you get nothing accomplished. Because I post one or two sentences on Facebook I miss out on posting here and keeping everyone up to date. I post two or three times on Facebook and neglect to tell you over here how last week Sabrina fell down a well, became a local hero, and was rescued by a group of Chilean miners. So it may be a little late, but here's a resolution to post at least twice a week. Now if only someone cared what I had to say! (Besides me.)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Today was the much anticipated Winter Gala at daycare, with performances by the Ones, Twos, Threes, Fours, and Fives. Sabrina made her theatrical debut as a member of the Ones with a resounding rendition of "If You're Happy and You Know It". Now admittedly the production was less Andrew Lloyd Webber and more Toddlers on the Loose, but daycare's theatre budget is probably a little below Broadway standards. But those little kids put their hearts into it, when they were paying attention. They really made me believe they were happy, and they knew it. And since clapping hands is a skill Sabrina mastered over a year ago, it's a role she was born to play. I have to say, I was hoping for something a little more along the lines of the "When you're a Jet" dance scene from West Side Story or at least a snippet of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, but maybe that was a little above the level of the other children. But hey, even Beyonce had to be a toddler once right?