Stuff

Month / May 2013

For example, if you are out with a buddy who, in his younger days, had a number of run-ins with the law while “fracturing” the speed limit, it is entirely OK to relive some of his hilarious escapades in trying to talk his way out of stuff.

If, however, the same buddy has asked you to be a character witness in a trial for him, run-ins with the law may not be quite as appropriate.

I’m discovering the Law of Context here at home as I recover from some fun times in the hospital.

If you’ve ever been in the hospital for something serious, you will know one thing: bodily functions that we don’t talk about at home are talked about in the hospital.

Actually, talked about is too mild – Celebrated is more like it!

Case in point … “Ron, have you been able to void your bladder?” (This will also be called “peeing” by a nurse with a 4 year degree).

“Yes”, I say.

“Awesome!”

Passing gas? Cause for celebration. A bowel movement? Let’s get a cake! OK, you can’t have cake, but if you could, we’d get you one! Good for you! That’s a good boy, a very goood boy!

The same events – happening at home – are less than exciting. In fact, they can be met with an upturned (or most likely plugged) nose.

I am still recuperating at home. To be honest, it’s not going as well as I’d hoped. I am having some difficulty with solid foods, and those unmentionable bodily functions are not working quite the way they should. This worries me because if things don’t improve, we would have to take some more drastic measures.