Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Since Friday night I have been up many, many times a night. Ahren is sick, really sick. And so am I. Oh wait. I am the Mom, I am not supposed to be sick! Ok, well, then. I am just not totally functioning.

Ahren: Double severe ear infection, sinus infection, asthma issues and high fevers. I spent over an hour last night, after giving him both Tylenol and Advil, wiping him down with cool wet cloths just to keep his fever under 102F. He slept on the couch and me on the floor next to it. No, wait, I didn't actually sleep as much as I twisted and turned and listened to him breathe.

On Saturday night I was up from midnight until 6:30 am. That's when Chris took over and I got to sleep a couple more hours. When I say up, I mean never closing my eyes. He can stop breathing in an instant, totally silent. I watched him breathe. And struggle. And cry. And beg for relief from the pain. Oh my breaking heart!!!!

Today the two of us stayed home. We didn't do much, but we didn't sleep. He wouldn't sleep so I didn't sleep. i tried to rest but frankly I really have no idea what I did all day. Shoot, the house isn't clean, no laundry done, i don't watch soap operas. I have no idea where today went.

I am hoping some sleep tonight might cure me. If not....I might just become a Zombie.....

Monday, May 28, 2012

Well, as I see it, having been dealing with children with issues for more than 17 years I have become an expert. I know everything I have learned in 17 years, although I am subject to forgetting key things at times. I have earned all of my lessons pretty much the hard way. Trial and error, heavy on the error. I've even been to college, which unfortunately only taught me how to deal with egghead neurotic types and not so much my kids. I pat myself on the back when I have sudden moments of brilliant inspiration. OK. MOMENT of inspiration, but it was a good one! And I never, ever give up........more than three times a day.

See? Definitely expert material. So as my own resident expert, I give you the following new diagnoses that I have discovered:

NMD - stands for noise modulation deficiency. Characterized by the ability to scream in your face 'I love you' at a decibel level guaranteed to cause permanent hearing damage, followed by answering important questions in a voice so quiet that intergalactic sonar could not detect it.

RAM - Random Acts of Madness - I have talked about this before. The chewing through the cable to the WII nunchuk, cutting a hole in a shirt just because there were scissors, leaping off the top of the headboard to grab the shelf attached to the wall, ripping it out of the drywall and crashing to the floor, peeing off the top of the slide in a wide arching pattern which included his brothers head, etc etc.

OCOB - Obsessive Compulsive Obnoxious Behavior - constant nose picking leading to daily bloody noses, chewing on the neck of the shirt, shredding food like a little feral animal, constantly holding and rubbing his private area to the point he made the skin irritated (Dude, it isn't going anywhere! let it go!!!) and twisting and stretching his shirt with his arms. All of these are unconscious behaviors and incredibly hard to break and pretty much socially unacceptable.

CNP - Constant Noise Production - the inability to stop making noise for more than 2 seconds at a time. If a child runs out of things to talk about, he will begin to count with numbers, recite the alphabet or name off everything he sees around him. This is especially likely in a closed environment like a vehicle.

ULS - Unique Language Skills - the ability to SAY things without making any sense whatsoever. I think many politicians actually have this. An example would be, "Lily was the school for beaver monday klink." This is usually followed by the expectation of an answer. When a suitable answer is not forthcoming, the child will repeat the sentence louder and louder, with great indignity and frustration.

CMS - Conflicting memory Skills - this is characterized by the child who suddenly cannot remember how to drink from a glass, put on socks, or not jump on the furniture, but can seemingly remember the one time 9 months ago you mentioned that you thought having a picnic is lots of fun and wants to know if you are going TODAY, cuz you said so.

SSSH - Super-Sonic Selective hearing - This is the child who cannot hear you yell at him 15 times to put his shoes on, but if you attempt to whisper one teeny-tiny thing in another room to your husband suddenly springs up asking all sorts of questions about what you said.

And last but not least -

KLS - Klingon Love Syndrome - this child just LOVES you so much they have to squish your face for big sloppy kisses, hug you hard and at the most inconvenient times, practically knock you over rushing to greet you and hug you, and has to sit on top of you or climb you while you try and eat, potty, or put on makeup. This child is always one step behind you and often trips you and gets in the way while trying to work around the house. This is the child who gets stepped on and knocked over constantly, but it never slows them down. They are little Love Sponge Weebles.

Now, if you seriously want expert advice or information, please seek a true professional. Not a nut case like me!!!!

Reba, you are so faithful to me. I read but rarely comment on your blog. I am a BAD bloggy friend! Just know I do love you and think you are amazing!!!!!

Cut the bottoms out of the pockets? BRILLIANT!!!! I was going to sew them all shut, but this is easier. of course whoever gets our hand-me-downs is going to wonder.....

I snorted out loud at the 'tampon nun-chucks' comment. What an inventive little boy! I bet the teacher could hardly keep a straight face. I know I would have had to leave the room and laugh out loud in the hallway!

This weekend has been kept on the low down here. The only special event was a party for a little boy yesterday. Levi and Seth went, and Ahren got to stay home with a fever, cough and boogery (is that a word?) nose. He sneezed at one point and it was so bad I had to change his shirt. YUCK!

I am finally starting to feel like blogging again. Sometimes I just get so deep into the day-by-day here that I feel like I am unable to reach the surface and find the sunlight.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Well, we waited to see what would happen to our little deviant, and nothing happened. I was not sure if I was happy or mad. So on Friday, during the kindergarten program, I sought out the school counselor and asked her about it. She was shocked there had been no consequences and agreed with me that they had to happen or Seth would never understand this was wrong. We went straight to the school 'enforcer', I'm not sure what her title is, but she is in charge of the consequences. We talked and we all agreed that something had to happen for him to learn from this. So on Tuesday, the first day back at school, he will be sent to 'In School Suspension' where he gets to do school work all day long and not socialize with his peers. He works alone, eats alone, plays alone. Plus, the rest of the school has their end-of-the-year awards assembly which he will miss.

I feel good and bad. Good for me to make sure he learned a lesson. Bad for this Mama Bear that she is not protecting her cub. Overall, this is good. Just hard for me.

Oh, and little man does not have have a backpack anymore or pants with pockets. This is to ensure he cannot carry anything to school or home from school he shouldn't. Hahahahahahah

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I think I have finally calmed down. Mostly. Here is how the crime went down.....

Thursday morning, while getting everything ready in the morning, Seth somehow managed to climb up the kitchen cupboards, and get the knife off a rack that is higher than my head. He then climbed down and hid the knife in his backpack. All of this without detection by me or his brothers, who are known as the 'tattle squad'. Once he got to school, they have to wait in the gym for the first bell. This is when he pulled out the knife to show off to his friends. Ahren happened to be there and promptly told. He told the other kids in the class, he told the bigger kids, he told the girls, he told the janitor and then he told the teacher. That would be hilarious, but.....well, yeah. Pretty hilarious.

The gym teacher took away the knife and Seth didn't seem upset or sad. She asked him if he knew it was wrong and he said he did, but no sign of emotion. (Boy does that scream RAD or what?) The gym teacher contacted Seth's kindergarten teacher but then had to go to another school for the day, which meant she had to wait until the next day to call me. Now we know why I didn't hear from them right away. Budget cuts...

The gym teacher called me on Friday and we had a wonderful talk. She did not know any of Seth's 'issues' and so she was treating this like any small boy trying to show off and did something dumb. She asked me how we wanted to handle it. For a moment I wondered if we could just hush it up and hide it. But then the rational part of my brain kicked in and I KNEW we had to give him serious consequences. I told her to turn the knife over to the school police and we would handle the consequences that would result. She thanked me for being such a level headed parent and doing the right thing. All I could think of was how horrible it would be to be trying to handle something like this when he is 17 years old and has been bailed out by mommy all his life.

We will find out on Monday what the punishment is. I am worried but confident. The whole 'zero-tolerance policy' thing has me concerned, but i know the staff at our school is smart, level-headed, and empathetic.

Now, I have a few ideas about how to handle the school punishment the best way for Seth to actually LEARN something from this. If they try and scare him, he will just shut down and not hear anything or learn anything. For years his only emotions that he felt and understood were fear and anger. He would fall back onto old habits and it would be a huge failure. We have worked so hard in the last year to teach him emotions, how to understand his and others and how to deal with them. If they show him how sad they are, how disappointed they are, they have a chance of hitting him in a soft spot and making an impact.

How is Seth doing? He is scared and anxious. it is sinking in that this is a big deal. He has been stuck to me like glue all weekend. He is shredding his food and picking his nose, both signs of high anxiety levels. I have been hugging him and telling him that although I cannot fix this, that I will be there with him and we will face this together. He is responding to that and instead of pushing me away, he is leaning on me and being vulnerable.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

I want to say some very, very bad words, but I promised myself a long time ago to clean up my language so that little ears and mouths did not follow suit. I am regretting that promise today!

Today, my 6 year old son took a knife to school. Not just any knife. Heck no, it couldn't have been a PlayDoh knife or a butter knife. It had to be a big pocket knife of the pop-out scary bladed variety. The gym teacher caught him showing it to other kids and took it away.

They have not contacted me yet. Luckily I have two brothers to tattle on him so I have a head's up on this. I am worried about the 'zero-tolerance' policy. What happens to a 6 year old who brings a weapon to school? I am a mess. Alternative school? Suspension? Court????

How did he get this knife? He saw where his Daddy kept it, figured out how to arrange furniture to climb that high, and planned a time when he could accomplish this feat without being seen. In short, this was pre-meditated. By a child with poor impulse control and anger management issues. I think I might hyperventilate.

Poop I can handle.
Pee I can handle.
Lying I can handle.
So many things I can handle.
But this?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Kaytee's nickname was Barbie in high school. I think you can see why. But now she has a new nickname...

Meet Bad A$$ Barbie!

I always worry about my girls and their ability to defend themselves and keep themselves safe. To that end, Kaytee and I have taken self-defense classes together, and she has been taking a Body Combat class for over a year. She is long and lean but very strong.

Recently, she was at the pool with a bunch of friends and one of the guys in the group was complaining about this other girl that would not leave him alone. This other girl liked him and would not take No for an answer. He is a good friend of Kaytee's but nothing more. When Kaytee and her two girlfriends got up to leave, the guy stood up, gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek to say goodbye. As the girls walked out of the pool, this other girl came up behind them and punched Kaytee from behind, a true sucker punch.

And then Kaytee did what she has trained to do. Without thinking, she whirled around, lowered her center of gravity and put her weight into one punch aimed at disabling her attacker. She didn't know who it was, but she hit the girl square in the face and then ran away. (Our martial arts master has taught us to disable the attacker and get away, not to fight.) Kaytee ran to her friends apartment crying. She was terrified and terribly upset. She had no idea in the heat of the moment who had attacked her. After a little while, another freind came to tell her that it was this other jealous girl who was the attacker. There were many witnesses at the pool who saw the whole thing.

The next day Kaytee learned that the girl had to get stitches and that she was postin a bunch of garbage about Kaytee. Kaytee ignored it. Then the following Friday night Kaytee was at a graduation celebration and that girl and her friends were there. Kaytee was a little nervous, worried that the girl would attack her again. Instead, a guy came up to Kaytee and begged her not to beat that girl up, please don't start anything. Kaytee laughed out loud because she would NEVER do that! Apparently the girl talked a lot of trash but was actually scared.

Things are fine now. Kaytee earned her new nickname and the other girl has calmed down. Me? I am proud of my daughter for being able to defend herself but also for doing the right thing. Master Foster would be proud of her too!