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Our modern relationships have nothing to do anymore with the one our grandparents, or even our parents went through. Years of fights for equality have completely changed the relationships between men and women. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
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Scared of yourself

In an episode of Sex and the City, Samantha Jones is approached by an old dude and she’s absolutely seduced by his manners. But once they turn in the bedroom, the vision of his flabby and old ass just makes her run away.

I had a discussion recently with some of my friends about the age limit we would accept in a guy. Basically, most of them don’t want to date a “grandpa”. At around 30, this is plainly explainable. But when we will hit 60 year old, this will be a different story.

But on the age limit, the answers vary a lot from a woman to another.

“I wouldn’t want to date a guy more than ten years older than me. I would fear we have nothing in common as we would be from different generations” H., 31, said.

“I don’t care as long as he’s not old enough to be my dad, and as he’s not too young too. I don’t want to babysit him either” G., 29, said.

“I don’t mind at all if he’s much older than me as long as he keeps a firm body”F., 35, said.

“I don’t care, as long as he treats me like I want”O., 34, said.

“Who cares? Now there’s the viagra, the sexuality of the old men have improved a lot, and no, I’m not bothered by the aspect of an old man at all”U., 36, said.

It’s true that with the viagra, things have changed a lot for the older generation. And apparently, this drug is also becoming hype with the younger generation. But the viagra doesn’t help at all improving our looks as we grow old. Unfortunately, even with botox and plastic surgery, the effect of time destroys our beauty.

In the end, this all boils down to a question: what is more important, the looks or the connection you have with your partner?

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11 thoughts on “Scared of yourself”

The connection is most important. I’m not real concerned about looks. That said and even though I am on the cusp of Baby Boomerhood, I cannot stand the Baby Boomer mentality, men a mere five or so years older than I. That really limits how much older I will date. I once dated a guy eight years older and I felt like I was with my father.

In a perfect world I would say the connection is the most important thing, even still I doubt I would be able to connect with someone more than 5 years older or younger than me, but I haven’t had that experience, if it happens I will report in! 🙂

I am 40 and I would date someone up to 55 provided they were in good health and could still get it up (with or without the use of “sexual enhancement” drugs). In my experience older men treat women with a lot more respect than younger ones.

Part of the problem is that people see old people as a ‘group’. An 80-year-old is not a 40- or 50-year-old, but is often thought of the same way by younger folks. To a 27-year-old, a 57-year-old is real old (old enough to be a parent), but that’s way different than an 87-year-old. I found some information on all this, and the average age difference found acceptable by most people is 15 years. So a 27-year-old might have sex with a forty-something, but not a fifty-something. A 30-something might have sex with a fifty-something. A 17-year-old shouldn’t date anyone over 20, I think. 🙂 People who are wrinkled and saggy all over should probably only have sex with people who are wrinklely and saggy.

Well, ultimately I think the connection is most important. For me a person I originally found physically attractive can become completely unattractive after they’ve opened their mouth. However looks can’t be dismissed, one must be attracted to their partner. But, also you never know what one person is going to find attractive compared to another.

As for having things in common, my partner and I have a very large age gap but we have never felt that we had trouble relating to one another. We have shared interests in outdoor activities, movies, politics, food, etc. and have similar philosophies on life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.