“Alice in Wonderland….Scientology in Wonderland”

A thought that sounds weird. But any religion by itself is weird. You replace common sense with belief … and that belief is not mundane at all. Preach whatever you like and you will find some thousand people amongst the 7 billion on Earth, who will clap their hands, have epiphanies and cheer with insane glee.

How would a member of a fictive cult “in Wonderland” reply to your questions?
… resembling Scientology.

Q: I feel sorry for Humpty Dumpty. He was my friend.
A: He was an SP and pulled his trouble in. Too many overts, you know.

Q: I think the scripture “Alice in Wonderland” is pure fiction.
A: You are in a doubt condition! What did you misunderstand? Let’s do a spot check. The pink sheet will handle your doubts.

Q: Still, I cannot talk to rabbits. I am “in Wonderland” for 10 years now. What is wrong?
A: Just do the next step. This will solve all your problems. You will enjoy it! And the donation of GBP 40,000 will help disseminating “in Wonderland” to others.

Q: Does the tech work?
A: Yes, read this. Alice ate the cookies and immediately felt their magic. You see, it is a scientific fact. Otherwise it would not be written here. Alice has never lied to us.

Q: Lewis Carroll was not a scientist according to the internet.
A: You are on enemy lines! WTF! You are an enemy of “in Wonderland”!

Q: I have never seen anybody shrinking. I only got high by taking these mushrooms or drinking the shrinking potion.
A: You did it wrong! The mushrooms always work. And you know that nobody is allowed to demonstrate or talk about his/her powers. I recommend you redo the last 5 levels. There is a discount of GBP 30,000 right now. Go to the registrar, quick quick!

Q: Why is Alice never demonstrating her abilities to her parents?
A: Haha, you think she should prove anything? Have a look at all these wins. Isn’t that science enough? Alice would be PTS, if she had the feeling to prove anything.

Q: I talked to a caterpillar for many hours, but it did not bother to reply.
A: You have a hidden standard. This way it will never start talking to you. Stop measuring your success! Just pay the money and don’t expect anything. Only then you can win.

Q: Where is Alice now?
A: She is working on target 2. Therefore she cannot be here. Unfortunately I cannot tell you what target 2 is.

Q: Why do I have to buy this new edition of the book?
A: Some SPs forgot to place semicolons properly. This stopped you from understanding the text so far.

Q: Why do I have to pay a thousand pounds for this book?
A: Don’t you want help disseminating our religion? Are you PTS?

Q: I own the book already. There is no need to buy a second one.
A: But this book is not for you. It is for the worldwide library campaign. Everybody should be able to read this book.

Q: I am bankrupt and I think that my membership has something to do with it.
A: Oh, you want to leave? What are your overts?

Q: Would you like to share your wins with others?
A: I’d prefer to keep them for myself.
Q: Oh, but you have wins, right?
A: May I be honest?
Q: You know what that means, don’t you? Only SPs have no case gain. Well, I don’t think that you are an SP. Just redo the course and find your misunderstandings. The registrar is next door.
A: But I don’t have the money!
Q: No worries. Let’s call your credit card company right away and handle this.