If A Newspaper Falls In A Forest ...

... And There's No One Around To Read It, Does It Make A Noise?We've returned from a relaxing weekend to find ourselves in an utterly news-free universe this
morning. In fact, if one were to judge by the dearth of items in our in-box today, one could be forgiven for forgetting that the Legislature has a to-do list only slightly longer than Baby Capitol Ideas' Hanukkah and Christmas lists combined.So, join us won't you, as we turn this sow's ear of a day into an imitation leather purse?The rest of today's news, such as it is, begins after the jump.

In Lieu Of Flowers ...Checks can be made out to the Vince Fumo Legal Defense Fund.
South Philadelphia's favorite state senator checks into Pennsylvania Hospital on Tuesday. The ostensible procedure is a "lumbar lamindectomy," that will remove an arthritic bone that's compressing the nerves to Fumo's legs. This painful condition causes back pain that radiated to Fumo's right leg, making it difficult for him to stand, walk or kick his underlings in the tushie.That's the ostensible reason. But we're guessing that it's actually time to service the cyborg parts that keep him alive.

Speaking Of Vince Fumo ...At a hearing in Philly last week, U.S. District Judge William H. Yohn said he was prepared to
revoke Fumo's bail unless he hurries up and finds a new lawyer already, the Daily News reported."That would cause a lawyer to enter an appearance in a hurry," Yohn saidYohn also said he thinks that Fumo, who's fighting federal corruption charges, was making a "good faith" effort to find a new attorney after splitting two weeks ago with mega-lawyer Dick Sprague.Fumo said he'd met with six criminal defense lawyers -- four from Philly and two from New Jersey, and was planning to meet with some lawyers from New York as well. And, he said, these things take time."For me, this is a life-or-death decision I have to make," he told Yohn.Yohn was amused."Well, public life or death, but not real death," the judge retorted to a rim-shot accompaniment.You really can't make this stuff up.

Even More Court News ...Lawyers for Republican state Sen. Robert Regolaare asking a Westmoreland County judge
to toss charges that he lied about where he stored the gun that a teenaged neighbor used to shoot himself, the Associated Press reports.If that doesn't work, Regola's defense wants the lawmaker tried by an out-of-county jury.To briefly sum up, Regola's awaiting trial on charges of perjury, reckless endangerment and a weapons violation stemming from the 2006 shooting death of Louis Farrell, 14. Authorities claim he didn't promptly contact police when his son called to tell him the gun was missing while the senator was out of town.Regola's also charged with lying when he testified at inquest that he never let his son keep the gun in his bedroom in the months before the shooting. Regola's lawyers say there's not enough evidence to prove that the gun was kept in his son Bobby's bedroom, the AP reported.

A Handy Tip.If you're running for Congress, it usually helps to live in the district you want to represent.So that might account for why Republican 10th Congressional District hopeful Dan Meuser is picking up stakes.Meuser and his wife, Shelley, now live in Jackson Township, which sits in the nearby 11th Congressional District. Last week, they closed on a $535,000 home in neighboring Harvey's Lake, which is in the 10th District, the Scranton Times-Tribune reported.The distance between the two homes is a piddling 225 yards, but it could make all the difference in Meuser's attempt to unseat Democratic U.S. Rep. Chris Carney.That's because voters tend to look askance on congressmen who don't live in their own districts -- even if the U.S. Constitution only requires them to be a resident of the state they represent."Two
hundred twenty-five yards, it doesn't make that much of a difference to
the people of the 10th District," Meuser said. "There are many issues more
important. I was not going to let this 225 yards outside the district
to be made into a distraction by my potential political opponents."

A Small Relief.House Majority Leader Bill DeWeese, D-Greene, says Pennsylvania taxpayers didn't foot
the bill for the trade mission he and four other lawmakers made to Taiwan last month, the Herald-Standard of Uniontown reported.Nope, DeWeese and his legislative colleagues were wined, dined and lodged by the government of Taiwan, which, for some fantastical reason thought it worthwhile to gain the insight of Pennsylvania lawmakers.DeWeese said the trip will be included when he files his annual ethics statement next spring."I
do not have any idea what the cost will be," DeWeese said. "They
(Taiwanese officials) will have to provide that. We rely on the
organization to provide the cost to us when we file the ethics
statement."Asked to explain the trip, DeWeese said he was a "fundamental believer in extending Pennsylvania's economic
development arm around the globe. There is a great deal of
potential (in Taiwan), and it's growing by the month."Witnessing the operation of a high-speed train in Taipei - Taiwan's capital -
might inspire lawmakers to take up the cause for a high-speed line
between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, DeWeese said with what we presume to have been a straight face.Oddly, DeWeese was also inspired to try the Obiko after witnessing it being made at a hotel restaurant. But we expect it has the same chance of being made the Official State Meal as lawmakers have of ever approving high-speed rail.

Twisting Like That At His Age?You're bound to sprain something ... but that didn't stop U.S. Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., from
trying to squirm out of a federal judge's order that he give a sworn deposition about his comments alleging "cold-blooded murder and war crimes," by unnamed U.S. soldiers in connection with Iraqi civilian deaths.A U.S. Marine Corps sergeant is suing Murtha, D-Johnstown, for making the charge during a May 2006 news conference where he predicted that a Pentagon war crimes trial would show that Marines killed dozens of innocent civilians in Haditha in 2005. The sergeant says the charges are false, the Associated Press reported.The Justice Department is trying to get the case dismissed, claiming that Murtha was acting in his official capacity as a lawmaker and that should somehow protect him from being sued for saying dumb stuff while debating the war.In response, U.S. District Judge Rosemary Collyer said Murtha might be right, but she wouldn't know until he explained it himself. "You're writing a very wide road for members of
Congress to go to their home districts and say anything they choose
about private persons and be able to do so without any liability. Are
you sure you want to do that?" Collyer said, adding later, "How far can
a congressman go and still be protected?"Indeed.EdWatch (TM):Gov. Ed makes it easy on us. No public schedule today.In The Blogosphere:Keystone Politics on an audit critical of PennDOT's policy for state aircraft; GrassrootsPA gets a makeover; PhillyFuture celebrates the Phillies (while it lasts); Tony Phyrillas (himself an office-seeker) gives some campaign advice; 2 Political Junkies remind us that it's Banned Book Day; Perry Christopher is a little tired of the Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton dynasty (we'll remind him that Republicans had a chance to break the cycle in 2004); Gort also celebrates the Phils (full disclosure: insofar as we follow the National League, our heart is with the Cubbies); Bernie O'Hare gets scrappy; Matt Best is a published author; It's Saved By The Bell Monday at I've Made A Huge Tiny Mistake; Above Average Jane lets us know that Nancy Pelosi will be in-country today; PAWatercooler on how history will repeat itself; Daily Kos throws it open to the readers; Red State urges readers to buck up (literally); Wonkette has all the D.C. gossip fit to print; As always, DCist has our Picture of the Day (TM); Andrew Sullivan goes above and beyond and watches "The View," and Michelle Malkin misses the point -- both sides can pander with the best of 'em.

Never Mind The Bollocks, It's The Capitol Ideas iPod.This year is the 30th anniversary of the release of the seminal Sex Pistols' LP, "Never Mind The Bollocks." So we're going to spend this week reviewing the work of some of our favorite U.K. punk bands. Appropriately enough, here's the clip for "Anarchy In The U.K." Just the sort of thing to get your blood pumping in the morning.

Monday's Gratuitous Soccer Link.It was a big weekend for the Beautiful Game around Casa Capitol Ideas. Our MLS favorites, D.C. United, handily dispatched first-year club Toronto F.C. with a 4-1 win on Saturday. The victory was United's 11th straight, and some pundits say they're the favorite to win the league this year. In England, Manchester Unitedpulled out a 1-0 win against Birmingham City on Saturday. And that sucking sound you hear coming from the direction of North London is Chelsea's title chances evaporating. The Blues were held to a goalless draw by Fulham on Saturday afternoon. And perennial Capitol Ideas favorites Aston Villa take on a sinking Tottenham Hotspur this afternoon.