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itmatsb

I am a 60 year old woman who had a major stroke several years ago. My major disabiltity from it are 24/7 migraines which are often severe, especially if I do much in a day. Also I need at least 12 hours of sleep every night since my stroke or these migraines get terrible. I also have Trigeminal Neuralgia which is an extremely painful illness. I have right sided weakness, leg pain, difficulty swallowing, kidney failure, hate to eat and no appetite from the stroke. I also have fibromyalgia, obstructive and central sleep apnea, acid reflux, myoclonus (involuntary jerking caused by stroke), osteoporosis, bletharitis, depression (now treated), rosacea, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and hypothryoid. Did I forget anything--LOL. I have finally learned to be grateful for everything that I am able to do and the good things in my life. This was after hearing about another woman, far younger than I am, who has constant strokes that cannot be stopped. She also finally learned to be grateful for every day that she has. What an example to me. But none of my pain has been as bad as my past suicidal depression where no comparisons could have helped me. I am now very happy. I wish to help others.

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It sounds like your family is upsetting you by their rude comments. Have you told your parents that the negative remarks about you make you feel worse? It's too bad that your family doesn't realize that depression is a physical illness. Can't your doctor advise them about that?

You say that you have treatment resistant depression. I assume that you have tried every anti--depressant out there? Have you gone to a good psychiatrist who knows how to give combinations of medications? Have you tried any MAO Inhibitors? If you have done all of that, have you tried ECT? You have to have tried everything for the sake of your family and most importantly for yourself. Let me know. You take care.View Thread

I think that you should see a doctor or better yet a psychiatrist to get help with diagnosing and treating you with your problems. You can get much better, but you need to seek help. Or you could even start with a school counselor, but it sounds to me like you need medical help.View Thread

It would be hard on most of us to have a partner break up on us. I agree with the person above who has suggested therapy and possibly an anti-depressant. Your thinking that you are never good enough for anyone sounds like depression. Get the help that you would benefit from.View Thread

You have a problem with choosing men who are physical abusers. Women who are in one abusive relationship tend to find another abuser. And abusers do try to isolate their mates from all others including family members. And why stay with someone who you have fights and problems with? You definitely need to get rid of him NOW before he gets even more abusive and can become a stalker. These kinds of men are often resistant to being dumped and can become violent over it. Have him get anger management therapy. And ask your children or friends to check on you periodically. Surely they can do that. Wish you well.View Thread

So sorry that you are suffering from disabling depression. I hope that you are seeking medical treatment for it. There are no excuses accepted for creditors and the IRS from anybody for any reason that I've ever heard of. So you will have to accept that. How much time did you ask your customers to wait? They have needs as well it sounds like. I would NEVER use depression as a reason, because most people never having had depression will understand. I would instead try for a government or university type job where people rarely have to work more than 8 hours. Just don't state that as a condition up front. Then if they expect more, just quit. Or instead with the degree of disability that you have, it sounds like a part-time job would be better for you. How much money do you need to provide for your elderly parents? Perhaps they need to downsize to pay their bills better. You can't do everything with your illness which is real. You will get plenty of support from people on this site who do understand how disabling depression can be. But you will be fortunate to find family and a mate to understand it, but to expect the business world to understand is a pipe dream. Sorry.View Thread

Anti-depressants help a great many people. They have twice saved me from committing suicide. What is your big problem with medications? It sounds like you are sour grapes about something. I believe he also advises therapy which it sounds like that is something that would most help you.View Thread

Most of us with severe pain are "addicted" so to speak with our pain medications. That is not to say that you should abuse taking your pain meds. Why did you stop taking the pain meds altogether? That doesn't sound like a good idea to me. What is the point of you not wanting to be treated? You are severely depressed from your wife leaving you. You greatly need to see a doctor and be treated with anti-depressants. Things can get much better for you in the future. Take care.View Thread

To both Ellen51 and sullygrl, You should take some action by setting boundaries on your relationship. Otherwise your spouses have no reason to take any action. I have seen mega postings just like yours on another website. The best ones are from women who took action to tell their husbands that if they didn't take action to get counseling and take meds, that they were going to leave them. It worked well for the ones who posted.

And then there was the heartfelt one from a husband who said that when his wife finally did leave him, he realized how much she meant to him and his life. But then it was too late. His wife had had enough of him and wouldn't come back. So he pleaded with other wives to leave their husbands sooner than later so that they could save their marriages. Now that won't always work. Some men are never going to change, but then why stay with them? Don't spend the next 20 years as some women have and throw away your happiness and lives.

And BTW, I suffered with severe depression for years (before the newer anti-depressants were available), but I always took every avenue to try to treat it. Wish you both well.View Thread

I'm also thinking about the mega postings on another medical site from people, mostly wives of depressed spouses who are at their wits end with the terrible lives that they have had for many years. If the man is unwilling or unable to get help, then it will just bring you down in time. That's a lot of what prompted my response above to you. If your boyfriend is only mildly depressed, that may be another thing, but it didn't sound like it when he talking about killing himself. And he didn't talk about it with you. That's why I initially encouraged you to address his thoughts of suicide with him.View Thread

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