So I know I posted a few weeks ago about favorite spots in Europe but I feel more confused than ever.

A few important details:

– Fiance and I have never been on vacation together before, so the honeymoon is our first vacation!

– Our honeymoon will likely be our last opportunity for a vacation for at least 3 years, but maybe more (depending on dissertation writing!)

We can’t decide if we should do something like Europe for 12 days where we would likely do Paris, Rome, and Venice or if we should do a carribean all inclusive where we can eat and day drink and relax (lol) or if we should go to a luxury hotel like the Ritz Carlton somewhere in the carribean.

My friends think I’m crazy and they think Europe is the obvious choice, but I’m so torn. On the one hand, I’ve always wanted to go to Europe. On the other, I’m worried that with all of the really long flights, we will be so jetlagged and by the time we recover, it will be time to go home! Fiance is a terrible traveler but he’s on board for Europe if I want to do it.

What would you do? A 12 adventure in Europe? A 10 day vacation of everything included? A 7 day stint at the Ritz?

Since you’ve never been on a trip together before — is there a way to do a little of both? Relaxation and moving around? Going on a trip together means you learn a LOT about each others planning and vacation styles and it can put a tension even on the healthiest relationship if people’s expectations aren’t on the same page. Maybe a trip to the caribbean where you plan a small activity once a day so that your Fiance can get to relax and you still don’t sit on the beach for 7-10 days.

I’m with your friends, if you guys have never been to Europe and won’t get to go on vacation for a few years, Europe definitely. Luxury doesn’t do it for me, so I’d never do that, and 10 days at an all inclusive beach sounds pretty boring to me. (We did 10 days on St John for our honeymoon, not all inclusive, but pretty much ate and drank whatever we wanted, and by day 6 I was tried of the beach and eating). For a honeymoon, I’d say relax, if you typically otherwise travel a lot. I wanted to go to Italy for our hm, but he wanted to relax. And I only agreed to a relaxing one cause he promised we’d go the next year.

If this is your first and only vacation for a while, I would take it easy. While the All-Inclusive isn’t the most awesome thing in the world (in comparison to 12 days of Europe), it will be relaxing. That’s what the honeymoon is supposed to be.

A 12 day multi-country trip is draining, even for the most experienced traveler. Coming from someone who has two thumbs and spent three exhuasting days in Vegas only to go right back to work a few hours after getting back home (this girl), you should take the easiest, most relaxing option.

Remember, you have a lifetime together. Save Europe for your OMG I’M DONE WITH A DISSERTATION! trip.

beeintraining: Oh sure! I mean the resorts definitely has things we can do together — one even has a cooking and cocktail class that we both agreed sounded fun and relaxing, but it would also give us a schedule and things to do during the day. I mean I don’t think I could just sit around ALL day haha.

pinkshoes: I do typically otherwise travel very often. Fiance and I are in an LDR and I fly at least twice a week to go see him! That’s sort of the kink in all of the plans. I’m so sick of flying and we are looking forward to having some time together to just be married and get away from it all!….and I’d totally take your situation — St. John one year and Italy the next — sounds like a plan to me!

Atalanta: He hates to travel. When we take the 4 hour trip back home, I drive and he sits in the passenger seat. I’m ready to go out and see friends that night and he’s just WIPED from the drive. When he’s on planes, even if it’s just a 2 hour flight, he’s totally out for the rest of the day. I’m so used to flying, getting to two classes, reading a few hundered pages, and passing out that I think nothing of it. We are coming from the east coast.

Sorry you aren’t really into those cities, but that’s likely where we’d go!

JackiBean: That’s what I’m most apprehensive about — feeling drained after the honeymoon! I’ve always wanted to go to Paris and experience the food and culture and just walk the streets there, but I don’t want to come home feeling like I was hit by a freight train! I travel often just to see my Fiance and the thought of Europe is a bit daunting.

Europe all the way. I’d recommend getting tickets on a red eye so you can sleep on the plane, and when you get there the time change won’t be too crazy. It’s usually on the way back that really sucks in my experience.

I am your (currently) lone vote for the week of luxury. I spent more money on my week in the Caribbean than any sensible person should, but I loved our beautiful, boutique hotel and the luxurious accommodations, top-notch service, beautiful beach, and amazing food that it provided. I would love to go back for an anniversary someday. Although I would love to go to Europe as well, that was not at all how I wanted to spend my first week of married life and all of the new experiences that brought for me.

Westwood: Thanks for the tip! I don’t know how well I’d sleep on a plane, but I’ve never been on an international flight either. I’m used to being moderately uncomfortable on my hour and a half flights up and down the east coast, though!

Brielle: Do you mind me asking where in the Carribean you went? It’s nice to hear about it from someone that went and enjoyed it. I’m concerned about just what you said — spending the first week of married life running around like crazy! At the same time, I’ve always wanted to go. I feel so conflicted. It feels like I have an entire world of opportunity opened out to me and I can’t decide what I want to do! (But I should decide soon before everything sells out!)

We are doing Rome, Naples, Florence and Venice for 15 days so I vote for Europe! Reason being, you only get 1 honeymoon, you can always take a “vacation”. I would (and am) going all out for the honeymoon. If you are looking for some relaxation, there are some nice beaches in Italy that you can spend some time at relaxing. A honeymoon is all about romance and love some what could me more romantic than a honeymoon in the most romantic cities in the world!

crackktheskyy: you will be exhausted hitting all those cities in that time frame. I would just do Europe later in life and spend your honeymoon chillllling on an epic secluded beach with service that anticipates your every whim. That’s my plan anyway lol.

I feel like especially if your Fiance is a bad traveller then def don’t plan an aggressive itinerary. Enjoy each other, celebrate, relax and be served!

I never would have known about or chosen this location had one of my dear friends and her husband not stayed there and recommended it. However, we stayed at a small, extremely elegant, all-ocean-front suites, boutique hotel that had been (and may still be) run by the daughter of the owner of Sandals but was not (at that time — five years ago) marketed under the Sandals’ brand. It’s called Royal Plantation, and it’s absolutely gorgeous.

Here is a link: http://www.sandals.com/main/plantation/rp-home. Check out their Royal Oceanfront One Bedroom Butler Suite and the three higher categories that are above that. The accommodations are steller, the service is fabulous, and the food is delicious. My Darling Husband and I booked a snorkeling excursion, and we were the only two — along with the captain — on the boat!

Now, if you REALLY want top-notch Caribbean luxury, and money is no object, you may be interested in a resort that I was very interested in but which was above my price range, and that is Sandy Lane in Barbados. Here is a link for that one: http://www.sandylane.com/

crackktheskyy: normally they turn all the lights down on the plane to help you sleep. I’d definitely recommend a good travel pillow though! My mom and I recently went to Norway and our plane left at 10:00 PM, it was great because we actually felt somewhat rested when we arrived and it was only 1:00 in the afternoon there. We left early in the morning on the way back and that was awful, haha.

12 days is definitely enough time for 3 cities IMO. It might not be a super “relaxing” vacation but it would still be tons of fun!

I vote for a week of relaxation. Fiance and I love to travel and we did a lot of it separately and together but the last trip we went on that had mutilple cities and transferring we were so tired we were always wanting to bite each other’s head off. And we never fight at home! Europe sounds wonderful for honeymoon though so maybe you should only do 1 or 2 cities max. Take in the sights, enjoy some local spots and not just the most touristy places. My sister and her bf did Rome, Venice, and Florence in 11 days and they also had a terrible time. If your Fiance doesn’t travel well then why add on the stress? You don’t want to start your married life exhausted and frazzled. Good luck and have a wonderful time wherecer you choose to go!