Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

That's not a new game. We just didn't have a name for it when I was a kid. The steps were, if you were the tapper: 1) kick, 2) point and laugh or, if you were the tappee: 1) fall down, 2) roll around in pain, 3) wheeze and/or cry, 4) try to get up and hobble after your attacker while they laughed and stayed just out of range.

This expression of ... whutever ... used to be called "Crumping" ... but the protocol wuz to scare the victim into flinching WITHOUT actual contact ... (there's a hilarious description in an old novel, as the young hero describes this activity in the Confessional ... )

How times have changed ... now it's a question of how much actual damage can be done without bein' fatal ... where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

A "friend" did this to me once in the library. Just a light tap but it had the desired effect.
A few minutes later, after I had recovered, I found that friend bending over to pick up something he had dropped.
I kicked a field goal and we gained the notice of the Librarian.

Picture a gym rugby game with a lad, Player A, on his back on the ground, and an opponent, Player B, getting knocked toward him and about to fall straight on top of him. Player A reflexively raises his legs and prevents Player B's fall. Guess, however, what part of Player B's body was the point by which Player A's feet held Player B momentarily in the air.

ncindy, I understand from a long-ago acquaintance of the female variety that a tap on the analogous tissue of the feminine persuasion (albeit harder to accomplish because it's better protected) can cause significant discomfort that may be similarly excruciating.

Side note: Watched the 500 ceremonies. Jewell sang the anthem. Reminded me of her singing it at the 2001 World Series just after 9/11. She was followed by a 21 gun salute and Taps. Serious ocular leakage.

As far as a "Rochambette" goes, yes, a fall on a balance beam will do a gal in. Or a nasty hook in field hockey. I've never seen a woman take the time to stop and roll around on the ground though. Guess we have too much to do. ;p

n'cindy ... the "crossbar" is to make the frame more rigid and sturdy ... but really, it's so that guys can give rides to gals ... this refers, of course, to a time when the guy is either too young for a driver's license and can't get the car ... or else he lost his license due to some misunderstanding about beer and driving and hangin' out with evil companions ...

at least that's how I heard the story told ... yeah ... I heard that sumplace ...

When bicycles were originally invented. there was no such thing as a girl's bicycle. They all had a bar for strength. Women at that time wore dresses. Since you can't ride a bicycle side saddle. someone came up withn a bike without the bar so women could ride in their dresses.

NotSherly, if I go out and grill today I will drown! We are having buckets of rain and I was awakened this morning by a crash of thunder and my very large lab trying to climb into bed with me. She is petrified of storms. Thanks for the answers about the bicycle. I've always wondered and just assumed they were designed by women.

Properly fitted, the top bar on a men's street bike (mountain bikes are different)should be just below that critical area when standing flat-footed over it. That said, in emergency situations, there's usually enough flex in your knees when you hop off the seat rapidly to use up that much distance and a little bit more!

hm. we used to throw balls at each other's balls. tennis balls, baseballs, footballs, whatever. the idea was to catch the victim unaware, so that he would reflexively bend over double, and act called "taking a bow". the act of throwing the ball was called "pressing the 'tab' key. (t.a.b. standing for "take a bow".)