Diamond in the Rough --- --- --- Cheap cars are cheap for a reason ---

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I seem to run across the same type of people over and over again who think the great deal they got on this used pile of junk is the best thing since sliced bread? It doesn't matter what year the car is, or what kind of car it is… if the deal sounds too sweet it is probably going to sour your pocketbook. It's not hard to spot these individuals in a crowd. They're usually beaming with pride, and even prouder to tell you what they just paid for the latest conquest. I find it rather comical in a way to see how they are so eager to tell me all about their "high value-low cost" wonder of the auto world.

There have been several of them over the years, more than I can even remember; some have been bought without having been looked at all, or the price was so good the new owner didn't seem to care what was really wrong with it. I've had expensive cars to cheap runabouts dragged, pushed, and shoved into my service bays over the years, only to find out the real issue with these gems is something so serious that the car should have been sent to the salvage yard in the first place.

One time it was a little Honda that a new proud owner brought in to me. The car was really clean, well kept and looked like it had a lot of new body parts added along with a fresh paint job. (He bought it at an insurance auction, by the way.) The only complaint was a thump when you would take off from a dead stop and a constant rubbing noise coming from the engine. The new owner was told it only needed a new motor mount. I wish they would have checked with me before they bought it but, you know… it was "such a good deal" why bother with having it checked out.

The new owner put it to me this way, "I can't go wrong for the price I paid for it." Hmmm, I don't think his good deal would cover a broken engine block right where the front motor mount bolts onto the engine. Awe, too bad… another diamond turns into coal.

Then there was the guy who bought a 4 year old Cadillac out of state-never seen it, and drove all the way there and back. The previous owner said he wired the coolant fans so they would stay on all the time, and that it wouldn't take much to repair it if he knew a good electrical repair shop. He came straight to my shop, and was I in for a surprise! It wasn't only the fans that were wired up direct, but practically everything under the hood. The engine compartment had been on fire, and the entire engine harness and lighting harness was wired with one color wire…. black. Every splice was taped together without any solder or protection. How this guy made it as far as he did was a miracle. Needless to say, the repair was going to be more than the guy wanted to spend on it, so he decided to sell it to the next gemologist that came along.

Then, just this past week, I had a real gold digger make his way to my shop. Not only was this jacked up Dodge diesel pickup a banged up brute, but the guy took it to a transmission shop to have a new transmission installed… AND… he hadn't even bought it from the previous owner yet! So here's a guy buying parts for a vehicle he doesn't even own. Unbelievable… Oh, but it gets better… the transmission wasn't the only thing that was shot. The reason it was shot is because it's stuck in limp home, and the previous owner just kept hammering the pedal to the floor. That big Cummins engine just tore the transmission up. My job was to find out why it was in limp mode. Not only was it in limp, but there wasn't any communication to the PCM. One look at the harness told the story. This truck was a 98 model and had seen better days a long time ago. Looked to me as if somebody thought they could get real creative with the wiring, and had more spliced in goodies everywhere I looked than I've ever seen on any other vehicle before. Well, so much for this repair job. You know this is going to be more expensive than this guy wants to spend.

Now what does the fella do? He doesn't own the rig, but he's put all his money into the transmission and has nothing left to finish the job… and… he still has to pay for the actual truck. I guess it's time to head back to the diamond mine and look for some more sparkly gems.

After all these years, I can't imagine looking at something as expensive as a vehicle, a house, or other big ticket item that I know nothing about, without consulting an expert.

There's no diamonds in the rough, people! Oh there's the occasionally "little old lady left me this car stories" but for the most part… cheap deals are not cheap, especially when it comes to cars. There are so many moving parts and problems to be considered, you just can't use your wallet as the deciding factor whether or not it's a good deal. Use some common sense, and don't just buy it because the price is so good.

My shop offers a "Pre-Buy" check up just as many other shops do. I'd take advantage of it; it's well spent money on a used vehicle, and not a wasted effort on your part. Look at it this way, the only thing you're out is the cost of the "Pre-Buy" you're not stuck with a diamond in the rough that is more than likely just another piece of "fools gold".

When a customer comes in and tells me they are looking at a new ride, I offer to do a "Pre-Buy" checkup on for them. If they refuse, because they don't want to spend the money with me to have it checked out, I just smile, and tell them…

"Good luck fella. You're going to need it. I'd bring your diggin' tools… 'cause I can almost guarantee that this diamond in the rough is going to have you digging one deep hole in your pocket."

I tell the stories about our daily lives in the automotive industry. You like them, let me know. As well as being a shop owner I'm also a monthly columnist for several trade magazines. Your input helps me decide which stories I send off to the editors. So in a way, everyone here at ASO gets to decide which stories go into print. So here's your chance...leave a comment... I really appreciate it. (In fact if you follow my column you get to see how much the editors change the stories from what I started with and what actually goes into print.) Gonzo

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Zombie Cars
“Brains, Brains, we need Brains!”
Zombie cars? What’s a zombie car?
Way back, when we used points and
condensers and later the basic
electronic ignition systems, cars didn’t
need brains (ECM – Electronic Control
Module), but that all changed in the
mid 70’s on some imports and pretty
much on everything else by the time
the 80’s came around. Some of these
brains were only cursory, and didn’t
actually control the car, but merely
watched for emission issues, while others played a major role in the actual ignition spark or fuel delivery systems.
Most of the engines in those early years, still used the same basic type of distributor setups (with a few exceptions) as their earlier counterparts that used the old tried and true points and condenser type of ignition systems. During those cross-over years it was rather easy to slap a different distributor in it, or change the existing points distributor over to electronic ignition (which worked quite well by the way). These days...it’s not that easy. These computer systems have become so entangled into the engine functions and nearly every other system that it’s impossible to bypass the fuel or ignition systems as we did years ago. However, there are still a lot of people out there that have hung onto some of the cars from that era. Most likely they've been kept parked alongside the garage as a future project or hung onto for some sentimental reason. Some (very few) are in great shape, others… well, they look like zombies already.
What makes them zombies? The brain… the brain… they need brains! Just this past week I had several of these faded paint monstrosities lined up in the parking lot. (They never come alone… always in a pack.) For starters an old dilapidated 1986 Dodge pickup with a slant six. This old rusted, tilting to one side relic had been at another shop for a tune-up, but as the story was told to me by the owner, the other shop tried to start it when a fuel line ruptured and caught the old truck on fire. Luckily, they managed to get it out, but the damage was already done. The main harness from the firewall to the distributor, coil, charging system, blower motor, oil sending unit, temp. sender, and the starter wiring were completely melted into an unrecognizable mass of plastic and copper. It was my job to bring this dilapidated hulk back to life. However, the original spark control computer had melted as well, and was unusable. Worse yet, the brain was discontinued eons ago with no replacement parts anywhere to be found. This zombie needs a brain, and there doesn’t seem to be an easy way to get one. At this point the only solution was to do away with the electronic brain and try to refit the old slant six with a much simpler ignition system from a decade earlier if at all possible. A lobotomy if you will. (Dr. Frankenstein would be envious.)
Then there was this 2002 Mustang that moaned and groaned while dragging one foot into the shop. It needed a new BCM (Body Control Module). Call the dealer, call the parts warehouse, call everybody! Anybody! Is there a brain for this car? Nope, discontinued. Seems this particular BCM was a rather rare brain out there in zombie land, and at the time, nobody was setup to rebuild them. It seemed this car was destined to wander the city streets with the rest of the zombie mobiles. At the same time this was going on, in comes a 1982 Ford Bronco with the original Variable Venture carburetor still on it. Ok, not a brain, but just as bad. It qualifies as a zombie for sure. Trying to find a suitable replacement these days is a challenge. Ten or twenty years ago this would have been no problem to find a carb. kit (if you dared) or the Holley conversion kit for it, but not today.
This trend of bringing back the dead looks like it’s only going to turn into the next zombie apocalypses. As these electronic systems get more and more complex the likely hood of your family truckster turning into a zombie is just a matter of time as each new model comes out. In some ways, I believe the manufacturers have thought this out long before there was a potential of these cars becoming zombies.
In my youth it was nothing for me and a few friends to grab an old car out of a junk yard and raise it from the dead. Ya just had to throw a few shots of gas down the carburetor, add a few wires and a fresh battery and fire it up. The rust would fly, the engine would clatter, the smoke would billow out from under the hood, as the exhaust roared out of every crack in the manifold. Those days are long gone now. They may have engineered a longer lasting engine, better paint, and for the part, the interior can hold up to the ravages of time, however, the electronics, are their weakness.
Although, these zombie mobiles seem to be coming out of hiding more often than ever before. Reviving some of these early electronic zombies may happen, but on the other hand, it may be a futile effort. The truth of the matter is… these resurrections are not as easy to do as it was so many years ago. There are countless problems that have to be overcome to bring some of these rusted heaps back among the living, especially if you’re in an area that requires emission testing. Just trying to bypass some of those early electronic brains when a replacement part can’t be found can be a real challenge. The good news is that there are a lot of guys out there tearing these brains apart and rebuilding them. But even then, there are some zombie cars that will never make it and eventually die from the lack of a brain, while others wander aimlessly from shop to shop still searching for their elusive electronic gray matter.
Even after you manage to find a brain for these living dead vehicles it’s likely something else is going to go wrong. After all, being cast aside for so long, all the hoses, belts, and gaskets have dried up. Something will more likely fall off just like you would expect from any other zombie wandering around. And, you know, just as soon as the latest zombie joins the living something will undoubtedly come tumbling to the shop floor. Whether it’s coolant, oil, a belt, or perhaps no#2 connecting rod, something is not going to stay in place. Just like in every zombie movie I’ve ever watched,.one of them will always have an arm or leg falling off. It sure seems that these zombie cars follow right along with that same affliction.
It’s safe to say, these relics of the early electronic era of the automotive world are in some respects the car equivalent of a zombie: half dead, half alive…and in search of a brain they may never find. So don’t be surprised if you’re at the next traffic light when an old faded-rusty-dented car with a shattered windshield, screeching brakes, with plumes of dense low hanging smoke creeping along with it, don't be alarmed, it’s just another car beginning its transformation into a "ZOMBIE CAR".
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In the market for a new lift. Looking for something that will work well for low vehicles but can still handle light trucks. 2 post, clear floor 10k lbs capacity range. I see a lot of manufacturers offer a bi-symmetrical lifts now. I've never used one. Thoughts? What do you have and like? I had mohawk's for the last 20 years, exploring other brands. Not going to get full time shop usage. Looking for the best bang for the buck but not anything that isn't ALI certified.
What do you have that you like and can easily get sports cars on (a problem for my asymmetrical mohawk without blocks of wood to drive on)

Hello everyone, first post here,
I'm in the process of opening an actual shop, i've been a mobile mechanic for 10 years. I specialize in hybrid and electric vehicles. I've been searching prices on fluid exchanger machines, lifts and other pricey equipment. I've been looking at some really cheap Chinese equipment on ebay, i'm just wondering if anyone here has successfully used any of this equipment. It's tempting but I know the old "you get what you pay for" mantra. They got lifts for $1,600 and ATF fluid exchangers for $335. Might be worth trying the fluid exchanger on some of my own vehicles for that price. I appreciate any input, thank you!

Diversity in Mechanics
The days when nearly every driver was aware of what was going on under the hood of their car has faded into the history books. Not only has the driver lost touch with the inner workings of their automobile, the car itself has become more “user-friendly”. There’s no hand crank to twist, no choke lever to pull out, no manual brakes, and anymore, hardly no one rolls a window down by hand or uses a clutch to shift the transmission.
Less and less effort is required by the driver to operate the vehicle. What was once a series of steps you had to accomplish to start a car has now become automated to the point all you have to do is push a button and the car starts. Gone are the cold morning starts where you had to pump the gas pedal, crank the engine, then listen to the motor to see if the fast idle had set or not. But, you always had to be careful that you didn’t flood the cold engine, and if you did… that brought on a whole other set of tasks the driver had to accomplish correctly.
It’s not just starting the vehicle that needs less driver influence, even parallel parking has become a hands free procedure. Now, with all the cameras and radar systems attached to the car there’s hardly anything to do except be a passenger. Even then, you’re basked in a climate controlled cocoon with atmospheric controls such as lighting, massage chairs, heated seats, and soothing background music all the while computers and sensors are controlling every movement.
Growing up around car repair shops might have made a difference as to how I look at these complicated thing-a-ma-jigs they refer to as the modern car. They’re not just a ‘car’ anymore. In my youth it was nothing to see a gang of dads leaning over a hood when something went wrong. Today, there’s not a whole lot to see. It’s all plastic covers with various caps and knobs for adding fluids and if you’re lucky there might even still be a dipstick under there too.
Diagnosing and repairing the modern car isn’t quite the same as it was back in the day all the dad’s would gather around the fenders. Even though the operation of the vehicle has been somewhat automated the repair side of things has gone other way. Parts swapping, guess until ya get it, and the old ask your uncle Bob what’s wrong with your car is as out of date as the crank start. But, I still find it rather amazing how the engineers and designers managed to “dummy-down” all the possible problems that possibly could happen to a little check engine light on the dash. Can you imagine what it would be like if they didn’t?
Service lights, warning indicators, and digital messages inform the driver of the severity or condition of the vehicle. Although, most of the information that appears on the digital screen is more of a generic message or sometimes even displayed as a short message telling the driver of the condition of the vehicle without actually telling them precisely what’s wrong. Even if it did, who would understand it? Surely not the driver (in most cases), that’s left up to the service technician.
You know ‘that’ guy. The one that overcharges you for those repairs you don’t understand or even care to know because you’re far above the educational requirements of a certified mechanic. Of course, anyone who’s been around the business for any length of time will tell you that the days of the grease jockey recharging your air conditioner by slappin’ a can of Freon in your car so you can whiz off to work are about as far gone as 2 ply tires. That’s where diversity between mechanics and the technical advances start to show through.
The technical training for a good mechanic with advanced skill levels can exceed the requirements of most 4 year college degrees. The big difference between the academic degree and the technical school degree is still greatly debated. To me, the requirements of the educational programs differ only in the fact that in an academic setting you’re required a certain level of English, math, and the other various ‘general’ skills for graduation. The trade schools generally don’t have those academic requirements for graduation. The big problem is the non-car aficionados (general public) don’t want to admit that the family car requires a college degree to keep them in tip top shape. So why would the guy changing the oil need to have a degree?
There’s a very good possibility that a shortage of technicians qualified to work on the modern car is drastically going to increase in the next decade or so. Of course, ask anyone in the business now and they’ll tell you the average age of the professional mechanic has slowly been increasing to well over 50 years of age. That might have a lot do with the startup requirements put on the new technicians coming into the field. To many times a young mechanic gets into the business with those wild eyed ideas that they can fix anything that rolls into their service bay, only to find out their skills sets lack a lot of the required knowledge in understanding the complexities of the modern types of problems their facing.
That brings us back to that college grad again. They’ve spent a ton of money on their education, and some may never pay those loans off for years, if not decades. Technical college fees remain low in comparison, and with luck, the average educated technician will have their tuition fees taken care of long before the college grad has theirs paid off. Here’s something else to think about, while a lot of college grads take on temporary jobs like a waiter while their waiting for their big break into that six figure job they’ve been trained for, most grads of the tech schools are out working in the very field they’ve been trained for. They might be the college grad on the lube rack, but he’s there, in his field of choice getting his hands dirty and working towards his ultimate goals. Chances are, the mechanic will be at that very restaurant having lunch while wearing their rental uniform covered in the days grease and grime and the waiter…. well, they’re still working for tips.
The real issue for the mechanic’s world is the acceptance of the educational level required and the respect that the mechanic deserves as well as being compensated for said education and skills needed. I do believe, in time, the shortage of trained-qualified technicians will turn into an increase in wages across the board. Which is just what the industry needs to draw in those new faces to the service bays. All this can start back in high school. Somebody needs to tell the school guidance counselors that being an automotive mechanic is a trade with high expectations and compensation, not a last resort job for those undesirable individuals that didn’t pass their SAT’s.

Ode to Santa and the Economy
There goes Santa, running for his sleigh;
He’s gotta run fast, to get away.
You see, the economy has struck the North Pole as well;
The elves are on strike, and his wife is givin' em' hell.
These days when Santa appears at the local department store;
It’s not just for fun or photos, but for gifts he needs to score.
He'll check the store layout and make a quick dash;
Why even Santa max'd out his credit card and is low on cash.
So off he goes, into the night;
To find those gifts, and get out of sight.
Now, he’s not going to make a whole lot of stops;
‘Cause look out Santa… here comes the cops.
Santa leaps to his sleigh and flys far into the night;
Carrying all those gifts, on his yearly flight.
Way into the morning, the police search high and low;
Only to find a few tracks left in the snow.
You'll hear all the alarms blaring, late into the night;
But old Saint Nick will be long gone, and clean out of sight.
Santa has to be quick, to have it done by Christmas Eve;
So many gifts, and so many places to be…
The presents will be wrapped, and the tags will be off;
Cause old Santa is very careful, not to get caught.
So check your presents, early on Christmas day;
(Keep it hush-hush if they're from Santa, OK...?)
Now, I don’t know if Old Saint Nick, stopped at your house or not;
But If he did … … … … …
.....THOSE GIFTS ARE . . . HOT ! !
PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TO ALL
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! ! !
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