Saturday, March 04, 2006

Ladies Should Put The Cunt Back Into 'Country'

As the anti-abortionists run wild in the South Dakota and elsewhere, women's rights are at an all-and-out assault. So, what would bother the rightwing Tali-Born Again (not to mention the pro-life DLC liberals) moreso than aborted fetuses. How should women respond to this since burning bras are rather passe in these times?

This is a week that has produced, in quick succession, a bill to all-but-ban the right to choose in the People’s Republic of Mississippi, a Republican Supreme Court that has ruled that anti-choice mobs have the right to terrorize women and girls when they visit their doctors, and the revelation of a mash note from Sam Ailto’s to wingnut Mullah James Dobson that made Harriet Myers' paean to her Big Swingin’ Dick of a President look positively…actuarial…by comparison.

So if anyone had any doubt about who really runs the Republican Party, put them to bed without supper.

The Confederate Right has always been led by weak, flaccid, little men who cower behind John Law and Judge Lynch and beg them to protect their inadequate manhood and freeze-dried egos from the predations of vibrators, strong women and every Black Man who every lived. They have had a hard-on for re-institutionalizing the Divine Right of White Men to treat woman and brown people as chattel since the traitor army of GOP v 1.0 surrendered at Appomattox, so since The War on Your Bikini Area is definitely on, let me humbly offer the following ... for making the Mole Rat Right uncomfortable:

1. Strap a cross to the roof of every, single Family Planning Clinic in America.

2. Get a friendly pastor to call it a church, and fully exert the rights extended to every other religion.

3. In every town with a conservative, pro-Republican church, have a loud mob show up every Sunday – carrying very graphic signs showing dead Iraqi children and lynched African-Americans. This “Operation Rescue Sweet Baby Jesus” should loudly insist that they have the right to “educate” the parishioners about the true dangers to their immortal souls of worshiping at the anti-Christian cult of Falwell and Dobson.

Drifty links to a spirited rant by Cherie Priest that is a good crash course on realizing that rightwing, pretender-Christian moonbats aren't reading the Bible (particularly Proverbs 21:19) but rather giving lipservice to it:

There are people in this world who very firmly believe that this is the natural order of things: men have orgasms, and women have babies. This is a sacred balance, whereby a man is made happy for two minutes and a woman spends the next nine months serving as host to a life-threatening parasite, then the next eighteen years held legally, morally, and fiscally responsible for the health and well-being of that parasite ... while the man is free to wander off or stick around at his leisure.

Some may take issue with her refering to the ol' bun in the oven as a "parasite" but, in all technicality, she's exactly right -- it is a life-threatening parasite. And it's made even more life threatening when the patriarchal pretender Christians among the Right along with the just-as-equally-patriarchal "old-school" limosine liberals on the Left consider it a "parasite" whenever they get together to have a big bitchfest about welfare, WIC, foodstamps, pre-natal care, etc. inflating their poor widdle tax-burden to the point where they can't buy a new fangled gizmo -- a gizmo that their wives are just going to toss in storage (e.g. the garage) with the rest of their bullshit anyway.

Ah, but Cherie has the coup de grace:

Most of the people who object to the wide, easy availability of birth control are men. These men have the luxury of assuming this position because they have no reason to believe that they, personally, have anything at stake. I find this baffling.

The solution is so obvious that it can be boiled down to three words: stop fucking them.That's right. Stop fucking them.

If your man doesn't understand that if he's entitled to an orgasm, you're entitled to an unoccupied uterus -- stop fucking him. If he can't get it through his thick skull that his fleeting pleasure poses a mortal threat to you -- stop fucking him. No handjobs, no blowjobs, no orgasms for him whatsoever except by his own hand, until you can be completely assured of a baby-free future, at your discretion.

These men do not deserve access to your pants. Stop fucking them.

I came to the exact same conclusion that she and Driftglass did years ago. The only difference is I didn't think of Drifty's hilarious as all hell "Poon Nazi" moniker. Instead, I went with something more over-the-top but the overall concept is the same: when these rotten, degenerate, crotch-sensative men on both sides of the political fence ever start their anti-abortion sabre-rattling again (or if they ever succeed in criminalizing or banning abortion -- regardless of context), then it's time for women to get together all over again and put the CUNT back into "COUNTRY".

I'm not talking country music -- I'm talking AMERICA.

Granted, of all the sexist rejoinders in the world, most women I know loathe and dispise "CUNT" the most. It is one of the most outlandish, offensive, derogatory terms for sexist bigotry out there, if not THE most. But that's the point -- because it's one of the most rude and crude terms used to smear women regularly, it's all the more reason women should embrace it. Use it. Flaunt it. Wear it like a goddamned badge of honor. Consider the term "CUNT" as a fuckin' complement in comparison to what these self-important, Christian dickheads and radical Republicans lunatics are doing to your freedom of choice -- a freedom that many, many women before you had to become "CUNTS" in their own right time and time again to earn in the first place.

When women wanted the right to vote, they had to become CUNTS in order to obtain it from a society of elitist, wig-wearing, men who wanted nothing more than for them to stay in the house, quietly make food, and squirt out a few heirs to Daddy's rocking chair every once in a while. When women wanted equality in employment and pay, they had to become CUNTS in order to obtain it from another group of elitist, snobbish, fearful men that wanted nothing more for women but to "know their place" (e.g. get back into the kitchen, etc.) so that women remained dependent on a man's wallet and whim for their lifestyle instead of independent (and they still haven't got it because the Great Balaam of Capitalism directly penalizes women just for having a reproductive system by default -- the FMLA Act was merely lipservice; a stop-gap measure by amoral, alpha-male business cretins hoping it would appease women from becoming totally Genghis Cunt about that "whole equality thing").

History is loaded with examples where women would never have been awarded the basic Constitutional rights and freedoms that belonged to them just as much as they belonged to men had they not put up their dukes, jumped into the gutter, and metaphorically became the very orifice that brought everyone here to Planet Letdown: a woman's cunt. The same orifice that men require to make them feel ... well ... like men. The same orifice that was responsible for whelping fuckwads such as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell into existance in the first place only for them to turn around, point to it, and claim, "Hey, our God gave us dominion over that!"

Once again, they're trying to claim dominion over thy snatch, ladies, by going batshit over abortion. This is your country just as much as it is theirs. Time to once again drop everything ... and put the CUNT back into it.

Just shave or tattoo "DILDOES ONLY" above your verticle smile.

Before long, men will be forced to mutter "fuckin' high-maintenence cunts" from behind their pharisaical, two-faced grins, and step aside.

2 comment(s):

Yes, it sure would, and these poor widdle men would be stuck with nothing but their subscription to Hustler and the "Song of Solomon" (the latter of which they are forebidden from reading without a visit to the woodshed by their parents - be they dead or alive).