Offcuts 2014from the Story Kettle

Offcuts archive for year 2014

bits and pieces, miscellaneous,
odds and ends, jumble, all sorts,
scraps, this and that, odds and sods,
left overs, sundries, other bits,
bits and bobs, titbits, snippets,
excerpts
and words
and pictures
and tips
and recipes

Now is the time to tell all your friends, all the people you know and
of course all your enemies about StoryKettle.com your favourite story website.
Offcuts
is a large collection of
bits and pieces, miscellaneous,
odds and ends, jumble, all sorts,
this and that, odds and sods,
left overs, sundries, other bits,
bits and bobs, titbits, snippets,
words and
pictures and
tips and
recipes.
Some are even stories,
most are what Big Tone would call “Pieces Of Nonsense”.
Try offcuts for the newest offcuts
and index of titles
and links
and top ten links.

Who am I?
is a good question to ask as you don't know,
especially when every day is different,
when every day you are in a different place,
when every day there are different people, a new time, a new language
and you have a new body.
You have to ask yourself Who am I?

By the time you read this,
you will have a lot of milliseconds behind you.

Dem Angeklagten wird vorgeworfen, seinen Nachbar umgebracht zu haben.

Betty was half the size of her sister Henni; and they were the only part of Betty's body that were full-size, more than full-size.
But Henni had an idea, Henni took Betty to that shop in the High Street, the outfitters for ladies' apparel...
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She sat me on the boiler and said that she was going to eat me, to swallow me in one piece. She opened her mouth very wide and started to eat me. This was obviously going to take some time, because there was a large amount of meatballs and orange juice next to me. I was disappearing slowly into her mouth. Every now and then the boiler would explode into life, the flames inside warmed my behind.

Neugier tötete die Katze.

"From the heart; may it go to the heart!"

"Von Herzen - Möge es wieder - zu Herzen gehen!"

Can't stay here, in this land.

Das Einzige, was wir zu fürchten haben, ist die Furcht selbst.

Who is Itheritha?

Don't put your wife in the toaster!

Penny Korner, bitte melden!

His name was Dot-Orange.

You can sing about unicorns.

There was a big bang and a loud thunk and no granny in the bed. I got up to find granny, the light switches did not work. I pushed the circuit breaker, another big bang and no light. I walked through the living room to the kitchen and fell over...
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I was driving up the B3 to Wiesloch when I saw a dead stork in the middle of the road. Unusual.
There was a group of people standing at the side of the road and two storks in the field.
Were they mourning? Sad.

He awoke suddenly, who was driving his car? A little girl half sitting, half standing, was driving his police car at high speed around the ring road with the siren screaming and the lights flashing...
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My sister stays with me for two weeks every year, she goes horse riding in the morning, we go for long walks in the afternoon and cook something good in the evening.
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Grace of Monaco review: It is a film so awe-inspiringly wooden that it is basically a fire-risk.
The cringe-factor is ionospherically high.

He had a long screwdriver wrapped tightly round his left wrist like a bracelet and a crowbar round his right arm. The other end of the crowbar was neatly hooked round a lamppost. He did look silly. In the morning the police got the fire brigade to release him.
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grip's best boy
In a film crew there are two kinds of best boy: best boy electric and best boy grip.
They are assistants to their department heads, the gaffer and the key grip, respectively.
In short, the best boy acts as the foreman for his/her department.
A gaffer in the motion picture industry and on a television crew is the head electrician
responsible for the execution (and sometimes the design) of the lighting plan for a production.
In the U.S. and Canada, grips are lighting and rigging technicians in the filmmaking and video production industries.
They constitute their own department on a film set and are directed by a key grip.
Info from Wikipedia.

Puketherest ist nicht in Rumänien.

You want to go to hell in a handcart,
well, I'm not going to push you.

Stop and see the sunset.
Stop and see the sunrise.
Stop and see into yourself.

Now is the time to tell all your friends, all the people you know and
of course all your enemies about StoryKettle.com your favourite story website.

What I like is lots of you.

You're gone, but I still love you.

She had a high banana acquisition coefficient.

My rhubarb runneth over.

I picked up the jug of fresh coffee and saw some woman walk across the hall to my living room. I could hear Blackie's voice, she was talking loudly about rape and violence. The woman opened the living room door. I followed and recognised her.
“Good morning, Mrs Blake! Welcome to...”
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Don't eat nuts if you want to eat a second time.

The love days are all gone.
Speak no wrath over him.

If Betty had known that the police's job was law and order she would have laughed. A group of heavies kept order at carnival events, Betty sometimes helped them, usually trouble with drunken young men. The heavies were fun guys, Betty often drank a few beers with them on Friday nights.

Das Wort integrieren ist nicht gleich intrigieren.

Only perverts like soggy bottoms.

The only girl I like is my sister, we were always close, we still are. I've had several girlfriends, they were OK, for a while. Several boyfriends too, but that too is long ago. My sister stays with me for two weeks every year...
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I'll tell you something. It is not a secret, but many people don't know it. If you want to help other people you must first help yourself. That means: put yourself first, look after number one. If you are not one hundred per cent then you are not fit enough to care for others.

She just fell over and died.

After I am gone if it were said that I wrote children's stories for adults
I would not be unhappy.

Oh, Dad! You can't run away from a hole in the sky. Stay here with me!

I screwed my neighbour to the floor to stop her from moving about.

It wasn't my birthday and it wasn't Xmas either, but there on my desk was a present.
It was all wrapped up in pretty bows and decorated with red stripes. It was a human being, it looked at me.
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It's Orion,
the hunter. Those three in the middle are his belt.
The big blue one is Rigel, his left foot. And the big red one is his right shoulder, Betelgeuse.