Does your vehicle involuntarily swerve toward milkshake-serving establishments? You are not alone. Most of the world’s population loves a cool, creamy milkshake. But what do you know about milkshakes? Why do some milkshakes melt quickly, and others hold their consistency at lukewarm temperatures? Read on for the scoop on milkshakes.

The Chinese were making flavored ices as far back as 3,000 B.C., while the Italians concocted a more modern type of ice cream in the 17th century. The milkshake, however, is purely American, and is by comparison in its frothy youth, with the first mention of milkshakes being a printed reference in 1885.

The original milkshakes were actually more like eggnog. And, like eggnog, they sometimes contained whiskey, with chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry as choices for flavoring. Strange that Prohibition followed soon after…

One of the predecessors to the modern milkshake was a bit more innocent: baby food. James and William Horlick first marketed their malted milk product as an infant formula, and called it “Diastoid”. The name later changed to “Horlick’s Malted Milk”, and the malted powder is still popular in many countries today.

The current version of the milkshake was greatly aided by modern technology: the blender. Ever try to whip up a milkshake by hand? Steven Poplawski did us all a huge favor by creating the first blender in 1922.

In the same year the blender was invented, a soda jerk by the name of Ivar “Pop” Coulson put malted milk and ice cream together in a blender, and voila – the first modern milkshake was born. Today the term for a malted milkshake has been shortened to ‘malt’.

The next time you enjoy a hamburger, fries and a shake, contemplate the role milkshakes had in forming fast-food history. Ray Kroc discovered and bought the rights to the Multimixer, a five-spindled milkshake machine invented by Earl Prince in 1936. While selling his machines he stumbled upon McDonalds, a hopping hamburger joint in California, and eventually bought them out.

If you want a taste of the original milkshake, travel to New England, Australia, or the UK. There the word ‘milkshake’ refers to milk mixed with flavoring. The term comes from the process of making the milkshake: the milk and flavorings are shaken in a closed container. Makes sense.

What if you want an ice-cream milkshake while visiting those regions? You have to know the lingo. In New England, say “frap” (actually spelled frappe, but not to be confused with the frothy national drink of Greece, which is spray-dried cold coffee).

If you are in Rhode Island, say “cabinet”. The name comes from soda jerks who kept their blenders in a wooden frame. Though you may feel strange ordering a piece of furniture, remind yourself of the old saying, ‘When in Rome’...

In the UK and Australia, say “thickshake”. Now there’s a term that makes sense. Give the Brits a point. Some fast food restaurants in the U.S. have named their extra-thick milkshakes by this term.

Speaking of lingo, the soda jerk profession at one time required a language of its own. A “White Cow” was a vanilla milkshake, “Shake One in the Hay” was strawberry, and “Burn One All the Way” was a chocolate malted with chocolate ice cream. “Twist it, Choke it, and Make it Cackle” was a chocolate malted with an egg. Incidentally, in 1938 soda jerkers from the University of Michigan formed a “Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Soda Jerkers Who Want to be Known as Fountaineers of America.” Can you blame them?

Milkshakes can be made by mixing vanilla ice cream with the flavoring of your choice, or by beginning with the ice cream of that particular flavor. What’s the difference, you say? Quantity, my friend. You can dump in as much hot fudge as you like. Go ahead, experiment!

Old fashioned milkshakes in dairy parlors are generally mixed in a stainless steel cup, and then poured into a serving glass. But what happens to the leftovers in the stainless? If you are really hungry (or stingy), ask the waitress for the ‘dividend’ of the milkshake. This is the polite way of asking for every last drop.

Milkshakes made from industrialized ice cream contain stabilizers, sometimes using seaweed extracts (carrageenan). While seaweed is considered a healthy product, the amount in ice cream is miniscule (0.2-0.5%) and tasteless - but kids don’t know that. Can you picture it? “Hey kids, this milkshake has seaweed in it. Cool, huh? Oh, what a shame. You don’t want it? Now what should I do with it?”

Emulsifiers are another key ingredient to milkshakes. Emulsifiers are needed in foods as a bonding agent to make oil and water mix. Everyone knows oil and water do not mix. Emulsifiers promote creaminess in milkshakes. A common emulsifier is lecithin, which can be found in soybeans and egg yolks.

Some major fast food restaurants now whip up their milkshakes without ice cream, yet they taste like the real McCoy. Curiosity: the milkshake does not thin out as it reaches room temperature. It has to do with polymers, which act like Jell-O. Think of how modern disposable diapers react to water and you get the same effect. Cool. Or, not.

Try this: buy a shake from a fast-food restaurant and reserve some for an experiment. When it reaches room temperature, sprinkle it with one teaspoon salt, and see what happens. We do not recommend drinking the remains.

Those who are dairy intolerant might consider the smoothie alternative, made from crushed bananas and fruits. Or consider shakes made from soy milk products. We feel your pain.

There are as many flavors of milkshakes as there are varied tastes. From the tried and true traditional chocolate to the newly popular green tea, someone will claim it as their favorite. Some with adventurous palates even claim onion, garlic, or spam.

Our neighbors outside of the U.S.A. prefer flavors beyond the traditional chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Rose-flavored milkshakes are popular in the Middle East, while sweet corn is a favorite addition in the Philippines, and red bean in Japan. While an American might find these choices odd, if not distasteful, there are numerous people who would claim them as favorites. Spam milkshakes, however, are just plain weird.

Milkshakes have healing properties. Besides being loaded with calcium, a cool creamy milkshake is heaven after a tonsillectomy or for chewing-forbidden conditions. It is said that a banana milkshake with honey can cure a hangover. If a milkshake can do all that, imagine what it can do for a broken heart, or the hurt feelings of your Significant Other.

A common ailment associated with the milkshake is a brain freeze, a one-minute extreme headache from consuming cold drinks or ice cream quickly. The scientific name for the malady is Spheno Palatine Gangleoneuralgia. Say it three times fast and you feel even worse. Swish lukewarm water in your mouth to ease the pain.

If you like to keep track of records, the largest milkshake in the world was a black and white milkshake measuring 6,000 gallons. That’s equivalent to 50,000 milkshakes. The black & white is a shake made with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup.

Hungry yet? If you need an excuse for indulgence, mark your calendar: National Milkshake Day is September 12. But why wait? Armed with the above facts you can belly up to your favorite dairy counter in town and talk shop with the soda jerk (er, fountainneer) as you slurp down your favorite Shake One in the Hay.

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