The victory celebration is as important and iconic a moment in mixed martial arts as it is in any other sport — just think of or Tito Ortiz’s gravedigger routine or Chuck Liddell’s iconic open-arm-run-around-the-ring-screaming thingy. It’s a facet of victory that can not only serve as a fighter’s trademark, but one that can even heighten the atmosphere of a fight after the climax has already come and gone (phrasing). Say what you want about the guy, but Thiago Silva‘s knockouts wouldn’t be nearly as badass without his celebratory throat slit. The same goes for Gabriel Gonzaga‘s “HULK LOVE CAMERA!!” verbal attack.

At just 2-0 as a professional, it appears that Denmark-based bantamweight Anna “Panda” Elmose has already learned the correlation between signature celebrations and marketability. After viciously KO’ing her most recent opponent, Elmose opted for a victory routine that I can only describe as equal parts avante-guard and Canadian. She curtsied, Nation. She curtsied while her opponent laid unconscious in a puddle of her own spit and disappointment. Think of it as the anti-Tank Abbott, if you will.

Personally, I would have preferred to see Elmose link her nickname with her celebration and engage in a post-victory munching of a bamboo stalk, but then again, I’m not the one going viral today.

When women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey was just eight years old, she lost her father, Ron, to suicide. Ron had been diagnosed with a rare blood disorder sometime earlier, and was given the grim prospect of spending what few remaining years he had left paralyzed and in constant need of assistance. Not wanting to become both an emotional and financial burden to his family, he chose to end his life with his memory intact.

Ron’s decision was one of the only forms of suicide that to even the most close-minded of us can empathize with, perhaps because of how selfless an act it is in cases like his. While discussing her father on Howard Stern, even Rousey herself stated that she completely understood his reasons for what he did and that, were the same circumstances were to befall her, she would arguably do the same thing.

But despite ultimately agreeing with her father’s decision, Rousey obviously remains sensitive to the subject of suicide to this day, which is what makes bantamweight title challenger Bethe Correia‘s recent comments about her all the more unforgivable.

(“No, Floyd, I said *shitter*, not *hit her*. What were we even talking about, again?” via Weidman’s instagram)

If you’ve ever heard the story about how Chris Weidman wooed his wife, chances are that you took two things away from it: The middleweight champion is an incredibly honest and upfront person, almost to a fault, and he sometimes has to poo when he gets nervous.

Although he may not have appeared so heading into his title fight with Vitor Belfort last weekend (or while eating a hailstorm of Belfort’s punches), it turns out that UFC 187 was one such time that Weidman came down with a case of the butterflies. He was so nervous, in fact, that just moments before he was set to walkout, he came to the realization that he might become the first UFC fighter to sh*t himself in the octagon (well, second). Had Burt Watson been backstage doing his classic “We rollin!” pump-up routine, we can almost guarantee that the pressure would have gotten to him.

(Jeez, Cormier can barely hold his belt before every dude-bro in the club tries to get a piece of him. Photo via Getty.)

It’s damn near impossible to look back at the flat-out fantastic card that was UFC 187 without first examining the bizarre series of events that shaped it. A seemingly invincible champion inside the cage was undone by his own actions outside of it. A seemingly broken former title challenger was suddenly thrust back into the title picture. An injury-plagued champion shrouded in doubt was finally set to face a morally (and chemically) dubious challenger in a fight some two years in the making. UFC 187 was a card surrounded by so many questions and disappointments (NURMY!!!) going in that its results could have easily left fans as unsatisfied as they would have been had the it been cancelled outright.

Thankfully, UFC 187 quickly and distinctly answered all our questions in a night of brilliant violence.

Will Vitor Belfort roundhouse kick his way to becoming the new UFC middleweight champion? Will the winner of Johnson vs. Cormier be considered the true light heavyweight champion? How soon after the main event winner is announced will we see the predictable “I got next” tweet from Jon Jones that is immediately deleted?

The short answers to those questions: No, no, and 30 seconds. But join us anyway as we examine the UFC 187 betting lines (courtesy of 5dimes) and try to steer clear of the land mines known as the undercard while swinging for the fences on the main card.

Nation, UFC 187 is approaching us, and what was once being touted as one of the greatest cards in Zuffa history is now simply “a very good one.” The card took some bumps and bruises — quite literally when original UFC 187 headliner Jon Jones broke a pregnant lady’s arm during his now infamous hit-and-run (too soon?) — but nonetheless, there’s still two title fights and a few important match-ups to determine the next line of challengers to look forward too.

So you know the drill, instead of the same ol’ recycled text recapping each fighter’s recent matches and predicting how they will win this weekend, I’ve compiled an A-to-Z list previewing each and every aspect of UFC 187. Join me?

It’s been awhile since Wanderlei Silva gave us a career update via a dimly-lit video recorded in a rape dungeon, and while many fans have all but completely forgotten about his existence in that time, the former PRIDE and UFC star has kept busy attempting to valiantly restore some credibility to his name. And today, it appears he may have actually made a little headway in that quest.

Perhaps it’s appropriate that last weekend’s Game of Thrones episode stirred up such a controversy for its disturbing ending, because today, MMA’s answer to Ramsay Bolton (discounting Joe Son, Hermes Franca, War Machine, etc.) has finally been brought to justice.

I’m talking about Alexander Emelianenko, of course, the beastly, abhorrent brother of Fedor who has been terrorizing Russia over the past few years with crimes including assault on a senior citizen, assault on a group of hecklers, theft, assault, hooliganism, assault, and also theft. Most recently, Emelianenko found himself facing sexual assault charges after allegedly drugging a 27-year old woman and “extorting her for sexual favors.” If convicted, Emelianenko was looking at a maximum of 6 years behind Russian bars, which is equivalent to approximately 28,000 years American.

According to RapsiNews, Emelianenko was convicted of sexual assault by a jury of his peers earlier this morning, and will now face 4 and a half years in prison.

Although it might not be the card it once was, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone complaining about the lineup of this weekend’s UFC 187 card. You’ve got Anthony “Rumble” Johnson vs. Daniel Cormier for the “undisputed but actually still quite disputable” light heavyweight title in the night’s main event, Chris Weidman vs. Vitor Belfort in an “Oh Thank God, they’re both finally healthy” middleweight title fight, and names like Cerrone, Arlovski, Dodson, and Thug Rose punctuating the rest of the card. I mean, it’s no Fight Night: Broomfield, but it’s still really something.

So in order to get us hyped up for this week’s action, the UFC has generously made their Countdown series for the event available online via their Youtube channel. You can check out a full preview of Cormier vs. Johnson above, then head after the jump to hear Belfort talk about the power of Jesus while Weidman challenges Matt Serra to a hoagie-off and fails miserably.

(Fair warning: I can not confirm with 100% certainty that either of those things happen in the Weidman-Belfort Countdown, but am simply taking an educated guess.)