Never thought about being a dad before

lived life to the full, always knew I was gay so never really thought about kids until a few years ago (turned 35). I am now wanting to be a dad ! never thought id say that. I have been with my husband for 7 years, and all of a sudden the kids topic came up, is there anyone else that can share their experiences about this! and shed some light.Cheers Kai

It scares me, it scares me alot if im true to myself, I always wanted kids but thought that part of my life wasnt able to be explored! How do you plan to have kids, I just need advice, what avenues do we need to explore! are there websites, clinics ? help me out

I used to contemplate it. Watching that "Nanny" show on tv quickly dispelled me of any desire I might have harbored. It is a profoundly difficult undertaking if it is to be done well. Immensely gratifying too, I'll bet. More power to you.

Hay new to this site but this topic caught our eye, we have been together for 2 years and are looking into co parenting as I would really like my own child. We have used a few different sites to try and find the right couple including co-parent match and co-parent net as we are looking for sharing the parenting role with a lesbian couple that share the same parenting views. The best site we have found is called pride angel which is gay owned. We know its a big decision to co-parent with loads of things to consider so taking our time. Has anyone else had experience of co-pareneting?

I have a seven year old daughter that me and my now ex-wife had together (needless to say, the straight thing didn't work out too well). She is absolutely wonderful, and it has been a joy to raise her.

I always say that girls are better than boys, but I would also say that you would definitely want some sort of bio-female around and very close to the child (such as a friend, aunt, etc) for when the female stuff begins. But mine is pretty well behaved, very smart, and generally fun to be around.

If you both want kids, go for it! It's a lot of work, sure, but definitely worth it!

I've always known I want kids...lots of them. I want at least 6. I love children and I think there is no greater purpose in life that creating your own legacy through your children. I also would like to partnered before hand, but I'm not sure how that will go. My best friend just found out she has the BRCA-1 gene, so she has to have to total hysterectomy and double mastectomy before she is 30. I told her if she wanted to have a kid, I would father it for her.

Being the dad of the 14 year old daughter. Plus I helped raise my stepson for 10 years of his life... Not to mention that my ex-wife and I were foster parents, I have a lot of advise to give.

First, you need to realize why you want kids. Children are not puppies. They take constant care and attention. Especially when they are young.

Do you want kids to make yourself happy or feel complete? Or is this just the next step that you want to take in life?

Be prepared for the following issues:Green boogers.Dirty diapers that the poo goes up the front and back.Taking 20 minutes just to get out the front door when you are going somewhere.Not feeling rejected when you say "I love you" to them and they don't say it back right then.Knowing how to not let your child act like an idiot when you tell them "No" to candy at the store.Not being the center of attention Having someone come first and it's not youBeing willing to give up the party/bar lifeMissing work, cuz daycares don't take sick kidsCrying at every movie that has something to do with kids (especially the girl ones, if you have a girl)Waking up some days wondering why you did itWorrying if someone is going to abduct your kidChubby little cute feetBuying them something and they don't like itWondering if they love you cuz they went to your partner before the came to you.Early mornings when the wake up before you and they run in to your bedroom jumping on your bed to wake you up.Feeling like other parents are judging your parenting skillsWanting your kid to be a Dr. when they decided to be a hairsylistRaising a kid who doesn't happen to be one of the "popular" kids, you have to comfort them cuz the other kids make fun of them.Wanting your daughter to dress like a princess when she want to dress like a boyWanting your son to dress like a boy when he wants to dress like a princess

All of the issues that I raise are just the tip of the iceberg. Would I have a kid again, knowing all these thing???

HELL YES!!!

Just be ready to be a parent... it sounds romantic and cool... but it is a hard job. For some reason, most of us make it through unscaved.

Would also really like to have kids. Even if i only have one child it wouldn't matter. Obviously it would be very ideal to have my very own child but that kind of depends on what the future will hold. Recently recovered from lymphoma cancer and there is the possibility that i might be sterol. Anyway, if i cant have my own children i would definitely adopt a child. There is however one condition, i also think it is better to have child after already having a partner. Think it is better for the child's sake to grow up where both parents are there from the beginning, I wouldn't like the awkwardness of the child having to get used to a new dad in his/her life. Anyway, this is still all way in the future. Me and my partner have only been together for one year now. Thanks for the advice guys. Great post for future use.

Well said, GSH1964.I concurr.-wouldn't trade it for the world. (Though you forgot to mention the driver's ed. learning permit process; my son, not wanting to learn to drive a stick shift in the 4 door jeep, gets to witness my deep breathing as we 'practice' in the red BMW Z3 convertable. :shock *cringes while experiencing yet another ass-puckering near miss*

jimbobthedevil saidI would do it if I were with the right guy. Definitely would want to adopt...there are so many abandoned kids in need of a loving home, it just seems like the best thing to do (for me).

My partner and I have 5 kids. Girls are 17, 12, 5, boys 9, 8. We are both caucasion as our oldest two are. The youngest 3 are african-american. We had several discussions with our families about a multi-racial family, so they were prepared to accept all of our children, whatever their background was, for them to be a part of OUR family. One of my partners sisters has had a few issues with our kids being multi-racial, and she hasn't see us in about 4 years now. Her loss. Our kids come first in everything. I gained 35 pounds over the last 2 years by working over-nights, so I could be home in the evenings and weekends to be soccer coach for 4 teams and football on one. Our relationship has suffered at times, since we don't get as much quality time alone as we used to. But we work thru things. You both need to be great communicators in your relationship to bring in a child. Talk about discipline techniques, who stays home/works odd shifts with the sick kid, etc. There are several adoption agencies in the US that we have used. I don't know much about foreign agencies. Start with google and good luck.