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"I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to give you a hope and a future."

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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Co-Pilot

Today I did something I have been wanting to do but emotionally I wasn’t ready. Completing my project meant I would be done with my little memory box and have no real need to go back inside and look through the contents. I am free at any point to open my memory box and shift through the contents but today marks the last “need” to do so.

I made a frame in memory of baby #3. You can see the picture below.

On either side are dried flowers from bouquets that were sent to us. And in the middle a picture of an adult’s hand reaching out to a child’s hand. It might be hard to read what’s in the middle frame so I’ll type it out here.

Below the picture it says: Baby # 3 We loved you from the moment we became aware of your precious life. You went from my womb and straight into the arms of Jesus. The Lord is faithful. Due date August 11, 2011.

Then the following quotes were used below that:

“An angel in the Book of Life wrote down my baby’s birth; then quietly whispered as he closed the book, ‘Too beautiful for earth.’”

“The best and most beautiful things on the world cannot be seen, nor touched, but are felt in the heart.” Helen Keller

“Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn’t get the change will you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?”

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

I am not yet sure where will hang the frame. The kid’s really liked it. Nathan said, “Let’s break a hole in the wall to hang the picture.”

I am part of a Miscarriage and Grief support forum and my heart just breaks when someone new joins our group. The question most asked is “Why?” or “Why did my baby die?”

Some of the same people who in one sentence will type, “I don’t believe in God or some plan He has for my life,” will type a little later, “Why did God take my baby?” They say they don’t believe in God but blame God for taking their baby.

The truth?

Deep down we all know who really made us. His name is etched into our inmost being that He skillfully and carefully formed. We want to ignore God, deny God, push Him out of schools, our home, and even our churches. There is no place for God in our modern day society. God is outdated. And yet when tragedy strikes who do we turn to? People cry out to a God who they previously dismissed. They blame a God they claim does not exist. Do you not see this warped way of thinking?

I look at my box of mementos that contain a few memories of our third child and sometimes I ask myself, “Why?” Why is it so healing to hold onto to these things?

Because we are human and we want something tangible to see and hold and touch. It’s a confirmation of life.

People want a confirmation of God’s existence too. They say, “But you believe in God who you have never seen.”

True. I have never seen my Savior face to face but that does not mean He is an unseen God. You have never seen the wind. But you believe the wind is real. Why? Why believe in something you can’t see or touch?

Because you can see the effects of the wind; you see the trees sway and you feel the wind in your hair. You know it’s real because you have experience it. I have experience my Savior. I have felt His arms around me. I have felt the peace that passes understanding. I have seen His hand leading and guiding me all the way. I have seen His light shining in the darkness of my grief. I felt His love wrapped around me.

Let me make this clear. I do not believe in an emotional gospel. I do not have to “feel” saved to be assured of my salvation. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.” All you have to do is ask. All you have to do is believe that you have sinned and you deserved death. And deserving death we face the penalty only to be freed and have our chains broken by Jesus who took our place on the cross. He has paid it all. There is nothing left that needs to be done because on the cross Jesus declared , “It is finished.” Trying to earn your salvation by being good or going to church or performing rituals or crying at every church meeting will not do you any good. Jesus has paid what was owed. This is one area where you can not buy your way into a place.

Salvation is free and readily available to all who will but ask. But the Lord will not extend His mercy forever. There comes a day when your time is up. As Jesus hung on the cross two thieves hung there with him. One ridiculed him and mocked him but the other said, “We deserve to be here but this man does not!” He then asked Jesus to remember him when he entered into his kingdom and Jesus assured the thief that very day the thief would join Him in paradise. It was right after that moment that darkness fell. What of the other thief? It was too late. His time was up. Darkness fell and he was lost. One lost. One saved. Both offered the same salvation.

I’ve seen bumper stickers and have heard people say, “God is my co-pilot.”

What a flawed way of thinking. If God is co-pilot you are sitting in the wrong seat. You are probably flying off course and heading in the wrong direction. God should be your pilot. He should be leading and guiding and directing you and you need to follow in His footsteps. His yolk is easy and His burden is light. He will not lead us somewhere where He is not able to see us through.

So as I find a special spot to hang my little frame, my small but tangible reminder of a life started and a life lost. I will always hold close to my heart the promises of my dear Savior to finish a work which He began in me, to walk with me all the way, to carry me when I can not stand, to hold me when I am broken, to mend the brokenness, and to heal my heart. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. His promises are sure. I stand on a solid, immovable rock and face the storms of life. Never alone. Never forsaken.

“Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Saviour, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? take it to the Lord in prayer;

in his arms He'll take and shield thee, thou wilt find a solace there.