Monday, August 30, 2010

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope, and with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so

Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.

He Is Divine Mercy

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“He that takes truth for his guide, and duty for his end, may safely trust to God's providence to lead him aright.”

Act of Contrition

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins because of your just punishments, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all-good and deserving of all my love.

I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.

Daily Prayers Requested By Jesus

Novena of Confidence to the Sacred Heart of JesusO Lord, Jesus Christ, to Your Most Sacred Heart I confide this intention. (Here mention your request)Only look upon me, then do what Your Heart inspires, Let Your Sacred Heart decide, I count on it, I trust in it, I throw myself on Its Mercy.Lord Jesus You will not fail me. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in Thee. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I believe in Thy love for me. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Thy Kingdom Come.O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I have asked for many favours, but I earnestly implore this one.Take it, place it in Thy Sacred Heart. When the Eternal Father sees it covered with Thy Precious Blood, He will not refuse it. It will be no longer my prayer but Thine, O Jesus. O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee. Let me never be confounded. Amen.

Prayer to St. Michael

St Michael the Archangel, defend us in the day of battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Power of God, cast into hell Satan, and all the other evil spirits who prowl through the world seeking the ruin of souls.Amen.

Mary, Queen of Holy Angels Pray for us!

The Memorare of St. BernardRemember, O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee. O Virgin of Virgins my Mother! To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate! Despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.Amen.