These are based on 2012 global sales, and I probably contributed about $300 of that bottom line, especially on the No. 1 bar.

Love me some Snickers.

And since a top 5 is really kind of lame, here's my top 75 regular candy bars, the kind you might find in a vending machine for less than $1. For the better chocolate, I'll go with Lindt, which is usually about $3, and then either the Orange, Sea Salt or Chili varieties. Or I might go with Toblerone.

The following candy is ranked from lowest calorie-per-gram to highest calorie-per-gram. Where does your favorite rank?

But since I don't usually have $3 to spare, here's the top 75 for under $1.

They don't make Snickers Cruncher anymore. That would be a top 5 if they did. And I used to buy a PB Max every day in high school because my girlfriend at the time equated that to love. That too has gone by the wayside.

This list also is devoid of the more fruit-based candies that my kids seem so addicted to. I pretty much favor the chocolate, except for Whoppers. You can take that malted stuff and stick it with the Necco wafers, presumably somewhere devoid of sunshine.

So yeah...only Starburst, Skittles and Dots make the list from the fruit category. No Tic Tacs. No Lifesavers. No Jolly Ranchers. Just not my thing anymore, plus Jolly Ranchers might just rip out my fillings.

Although that's exactly what happened on election night 2012 with a small box of Milk Duds. Took my root canal tooth right out right about the time Obama won the electoral college.

Don't worry. I had dental coverage to put things right, and I still eat a Milk Dud every now and then.