There has been discussion about Nic’s supposed activism in some conservative Mormon circles, where critics are basically calling Nic a whiny child pushing an agenda to undermine the religious convictions of a god-fearing administrator at a private LDS school.

Of course, there’s a lot more to it than that.

In the Roanoke Times article it comes across as if there is no way to know what really happened between Nic Jensen, a good friend of mine, and Madison Sowell. But there was a third person in the room. And I happen to be married to her.

Nic Jensen

Sara and I met Nic during his freshmen year at Southern Virginia University. I immediately recognized that he was sharp, friendly, and open-minded. Later that year we sat next to each other in the front row of a class on comparative politics. I wasn’t wrong in my first impression; Nic is undeniably smart, and I was glad that, like me, he decided to major in politics. The following semester Nic interned for Sara on Terry McCauliffe’s successful gubernatorial campaign. We remain very close to Nic. We opened our home to him many times if he needed a place to feel safe and welcome.

Nic asked Sara to accompany him when he met with Provost Sowell to discuss rumors about Sowell raising allegations of Nic’s behavior to fellow students. Allegations that were groundless, especially to students who knew Nic, but were nonetheless harmful to his emotional well-being.

“It was difficult,” Sara recalled, “to listen to someone who is respected in our school and church tell Nic about how the only openly gay people he knew were drug addicts and suffered from depression, while people who suppress their homosexuality by choosing celibacy or marrying women were happy. It was upsetting because he was basically suggesting to Nic that if he chose to marry a man he would lead a life of depression or substance abuse.”

“He assumed he was breaking the honor code because he was gay, even though Nic was very clear that he had no intention of doing so.”

Sara says she left the room in tears.

Nic had a boyfriend at the time, and the school’s dean of students, who is actually in charge of honor code issues—not Provost Sowell—was aware of this and had no problem with it.

“He admitted to questioning Nic’s integrity because all he knew about him was that he was gay. He didn’t know his grades, he didn’t know about his extra-curricular involvement, he didn’t know about all the people who know and love him. He didn’t know about the professors who considered him one of their best students,” Sara said.

Nic Jensen is the caliber of student that any university would be proud to have on its campus. But to Sowell, he was nothing more than his sexuality. All he saw was a gay kid, and so immediately he was discredited as a student, as a church member, and as a human being. Sowell questioned other students about Nic’s sexuality because he equates open homosexuality with reckless flirtatiousness and promiscuity. Sowell admitted that he considered Nic’s character to be deeply flawed based solely on his decision to identify as a gay man.

The confrontation between Nic and Sowell was avoidable, sure, but it’s not like Nic haplessly wandered into Sowell’s office to confront him on his views on homosexuality. Without cause, Provost Sowell asked other students if Nic was propositioning them for sex. That is harassment, and creates a social environment that is certainly not conducive to a healthy learning, much less the spirit. These incidents led Nic to approach Sowell. It was incredibly noble of Nic to take his concerns to Sowell directly, rather than let his suspicion steep in rumor.

After the meeting, Nic endured an intense bout of depression and even thoughts of suicide. Thanks to the help of a very supportive and loving family, he’s doing pretty well. But not everyone is so lucky. Nic decided to speak up not only for himself but also for the countless other Mormon teens who encounter hostility and disgust and do not have an encouraging support system to help them through dark times. It breaks my heart to think how this could have ended very differently, and that in too many instances, it does. That is why this matters. That is why Madison Sowell’s flippancy when confronted with such pain should not be tolerated.

This has not been about differences of opinion. Many of Nic’s professors and fellow students disagreed with him on political issues, especially gay marriage, but he still retains good relationships with them built on mutual respect.

Here’s where people miss the gravity of this situation. It may not have been outwardly aggressive or explicitly discriminatory. But it was hardly kind, or Christlike, or appropriate. A lot of buzz surrounding this case tries to turn Sowell’s position as some sort of example of freedom of speech with the politically correct left coming in and trying to censor an expression of deeply held belief. However, as I recently wrote, such a framing of these incidents undermines the whole point of Christianity.

Sowell was cleared of wrongdoing after an investigation, but the investigation did discover that Southern Virginia University was unequipped to deal with the legitimate grievances Nic had. In no situation should a school administrator openly discuss a student’s sexuality with other students. Additionally, attempts to drag Nic through the mud in social media over his earnest attempt to prevent future students from enduring such humiliation is disheartening.

Let me also add that my time at Southern Virginia was thoroughly rewarding. I have a deep appreciation for the school’s mission, and in no way should this incident reflect the atmosphere or attitudes of the vast majority of good, intelligent people who work there. Nic feels this way as well, and I know the decision to leave before he finished his degree was not an easy one.

Nic Jensen is brilliant and strong. Through every step of this mess I’m reminded how lucky I am to know him.

Comments

I wish more people could have the courage of Madison Sowell against the morally corrupt world’s views, telling sinners like Nic Jensen to repent. People like Nic should either remain celibate or marry the opposite sex, otherwise they have no business remaining a member of the LDS Church much less attend a private religious school. The “Christian” thing to do is to call people to repentance and not support them in their grievous immorality.

Sorry, which part of Christ’s message demanded we call people to repentance? Surely not the part where he said “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.” Or “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” Your eagerness to expel someone from the church so quickly is true Christianity I suppose.

Nevemind that Sowell didn’t even bring up repentance or the atonement in the entire conversation.

On the other hand, this comment is so ridiculous it nearly sounds like a parody.

The first quote is not to us, but about a woman who he quickly said “Go and sin no more,” that liberals love to ignore. The second, at least to a Mormon, has been corrected by revelation to say “judge not unrighteous judgement,” meaning be careful how you judge; not don’t judge at all. This situation is similar to what Paul said in 1 Cor. 5:9-13 that the Saints didn’t do as he asked not to keep “company with fornicators,” and then lists others to as you say “expel” from the Church. The Saints are to learn how to judge because someday we must “judge the world” (1 Cor. 6:2) and eventually “judge the angels” (Cor. 6:3). We find in Moroni 7 starting with verse 7, it is clear that we must be judges to discern light from dark, good from evil, the things of the Devil with the things of Christ. Those who say not to judge should be equally careful that they don’t find themselves facing the wrath of God by not judging enough.

Not even Bishops are allowed/supposed to recommend straight marriage to homosexual (same sex attracted) brothers and sisters. I also don’t believe that standing up for religious rights makes it okay for anyone to ask anyone else about a person’s sexual life- when there is no cause to do so.

Actually, the LDS church discoursges mixed orientation marriages where someone is trying to live a cis heterosexual life I’m hope they get ‘cured’. It most often leads to divorce and children in a broken home. So, read up before you start casting stones.

Also, stewardship and being set apart, discernment and acting as a judge in zion are part of calling people into repentance. So no, an a ademic advisor at a church school or not had no day like this.

However, herecy, lack of empathy,mourning with those that mourn and comforting the sick and afflicted are covenants you did make and will be accountable for. Let us not become like the Pharisees and leave the suffering in the street. By your fruit you show your christianity.

Now, a Christian school is where kids go to get a Christian environment. Hopefully our queer students were granted that same invitation so they can learn and search light instead of being treated with false witness,malicious intent to do harm, lack of empathy

This article deserves to be shared on SVU’s campus. There are a lot of good people who work for the university but that man, Madison Sowell, is a detrimental to its growth and success. I am repulsed by his handling of this situation and many other that arose while I was there. That family can be described with one word: pretentious

Yes it should be, but not for the reason you think. Hopefully to remind those who are there under false moral pretenses that the religious university is not for them. And I judge because, unlike the scriptures taken out of context, the scriptures command the Saints who are worthy of that name to call our neighbors to repentance. Those who don’t are themselves enablers of those sins and cannot therefore be blameless on judgement day.

You are confusing calling to repentance with love and understanding with judging. they are two very different things. the former is a good thing, your self admitted judging put you squarely in the sinner role. and makes you a hypocrite

You’re so loving and Christlike, GodisGreat. NOT. You’re acting hateful and high and mighty. I hope your children or your children’s children are born gay, maybe then some real love will come into your heart.

I know Madison So well, and attest that he’s one of the best people I know. As Provost, he has a duty to uphold SVu’s honor code, and he did. He was cleared of any wrongdoing. You are hearing lots of mean allegations from someone who lost in court and wontaccept that fact.

Thank you for leaving the Church. I only wish many more people like you would, although I would rather you and they repent of your sins and come back to the Faith on God’s terms and not the World’s promiscuous anything goes morality.

Really, Really? I know many people who know Madison Sowell well, and some of them have experienced their own awkward moments with him. Additionally, as provost, his duty is to academics. As the post makes clear, the dean of students knew Nic was not in violation of SVU’s code of honor.

Hi Cody – It’s understandable that you are sticking up for your friend. But don’t tarnish a good man’s name when he did nothing wrong, especially in print. You and the student may not like the Honor Code, but it is what it is. You both agreed to it. You shouldn’t imply that Madison Sowell committed wrongdoing. He didn’t. The investigation found he didn’t. I think some reasons why he’s not speaking out is that (1) he’s classy, which apparently you and your friend aren’t; (2) its inappropriate to talk about legal investigations in the media like this; (3) it’s mean to drag people through the mud. I’m sure could drag both you and your friend through the mud in telling his side of the story, but then you guys would file another frivolous lawsuit with free attorneys from Lambda or the ACLU. Everybody reading this story should realize that the views you’re getting here are highly, highly one-sided.

Careful there Really, they will end up calling you UnChristian and compare you to the Westboro Baptist Church as if that is supposed to be offensive or something. Just remember that there are a lot of people who have your back. They might have the Internet and the praise of the World, but we have God and Christ.

but, as Cody pointed out, there were -no violations of the honor code-. And you can’t really tell someone who has felt harassed they haven’t felt harassed, even if someone clears the harasser of any wrong doing. I don’t feel like this article is libelous in any ways. In fact, I’d say that it is about as even as is possible under the circumstances.

It’s also public record… AND Sowell is only being accused of being innapropriate with his accusations/line of questioning. Nothing here is false… I have witnessed very similar behavior from this man in my dealings at SVU that you cannot refute.

“Careful there Really, they will end up calling you UnChristian and compare you to the Westboro Baptist Church as if that is supposed to be offensive or something. Just remember that there are a lot of people who have your back. They might have the Internet and the praise of the World, but we have God and Christ.”

Pride.

Also “a lot” of people… haha if you consider less than 1 percent of a percent a lot of people

All I want to say, is that I was a member of the SVU honor council for a fairly lengthy amount of time and then I quit. Because I can’t even begin to count the times that I watched other members of the council, including those actually employed by the school make jokes about and divulge confidential information pertaining to student’s who were there to meet with the council regarding supposed/suspected honor code violations. I’m not going to say much on the matter of Nic and the Provost, mainly because I’m aware of the repercussions that may come by doing so, but I know that the overall way in which students are handled in regards to the Honor Code is often inappropriate, unchristlike, and even unethical.

No doubt, despite your attempt to use anonymity here while you trash other people, other people on the council would recognize you from this comment, righ?. Because, as a defender of truth and justice, surely you spoke up about treatment that was “often inappropriate, unchristlike, and even unethical.” Right? You spoke up? And since the leaders of SVU are former Seventies and mission presidents who have devoted years of their life to serve Christ, I’m sure that you know lots more about what is christ-like or ethical than they do, right? And since the Bible condemns homosexuality, and since you’re Christian, you would condemn homosexuality too, right?

Oh I have no problem with people knowing it was me. I was protecting OTHER people by remaining anonymous. And as for you, I know who you are. And as for your comments? You might want to be more aware of facts before you make comments. I did speak up. Yep. I’ve spoken to and emailed with several administrators, faculty, staff, etc. along with OTHER people who quit for the very same reason.

So as far as my anonymity goes, It’s Jessica Sorensen. And I didn’t trash any particular person, I spoke bluntly about a particular group on campus that I HAVE FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE OF, that even the new president of the University sees issues with based on his current recommendations on how to handle Honor code issues. Thank you, and enjoy YOUR OWN anonymity. If you have another other questions regarding my comment, you can message me personally and I’d love to inform you more about a situation that apparently you have no knowledge of.

And as for what God says about homosexuality? He certainly doesn’t say harass people.

I know Provost Sowell and his family personally. They are some of my favorite people in the world. All of them are good. All of them are loving, kind and extremely aware. I do not know Nic Jensen, Sara Shafer or Cody Shafer well, but I was in the area long enough to know they possess those same qualities. This little university is a magnet for great, incredibly well-rounded people.

It is clear to me that Provost Sowell was trying to uphold the university’s standard between tolerance and permissiveness. It is clear to me that Nic was trying to follow the university’s code of conduct while being honest with himself and those around him. It is also clear to me that the Sara and Cody Shafer are trying to buoy up, and support a friend.

This story is riddled with misunderstanding and heartbreaking hurt. And yet, something good could come of it. The real moral: the university needs to be become better equipped to deal with these types of grievances. Isn’t that true for a lot of schools? Organizations? Groups? Leaders? Families? People?

We all need to get better at this. Let’s stop exhausting our time, energy and resources fighting fire with fire, when we have the solution: be better leaders, be better students and be better friends.

Well first of all, there are at least a few of us posting as “Former Student”. Secondly, yeah- what Jezzzzus said. Third, if you mean the post about the Honor Council- I’d like to know who “people” are, because I never once mentioned any names, which leads me to believe that you probably were on the Honor Council also- is that correct?

You know, I don’t think Provost Sowell knows about just how many of the students here aren’t straight. There are a lot of LGBTQA+ folks here and I think that this issue needs to be addressed. Whether it is harassment or not to ask a student about their sexuality it’s rude and unnecessary, we all signed a document saying that we wouldn’t have sex outside of marriage while at this university, it said nothing about who we had sex with, just that we won’t. I don’t understand why it’s anyone’s business what sexuality someone else is? Are you having sex with them? If not it’s none of your business.

I remember going to school there and getting in trouble for a horrible mistake I made. The school promised me re admission because of my “high reputation” so they say. They totally declined me because of my incarceration for a misdemeanor! That school said they loved and cared about me, bullshit!!! The only person that saw me from that school was Mike Gibbons! Can’t believe I cried over that damn school! Now I’m finishing up my bachelors of social work at a women’s college in Staunton! I’m also the mental health jail clinician at a jail! I made it without them! I will never go back to that school! I’ve met some amazing people whom I still keep in contact with, but their are many judging people there including Madison Sowell!!

Student – Madison is a very sophisticated person. As a former mission president, he had missionaries “come out” while on their missions. This isn’t the first experience he’s had with someone who is gay. He is beloved – really beloved – by scores of former missionaries, and scores of former congregants (from when he was a Bishop), for showing compassion on them and helping them through spiritual trials.

For any student struggling at a school that isn’t welcoming to LGBTQA students, I want you to know that there are schools that are wonderfully accepting of people, as they are. If you are looking at depression and suicidal thoughts, please consider finding a campus that is more concerned with what students are learning. I love that our honor code specifically mentions that Nanooks create communities where all are welcome.

I’m a “nontraditional student” at UAF, but I love working with the GSA (Gender Sexuality Alliance) the Women’s Center and the Chancellor to make sure we have forums where concerns can be openly shared in whatever way is most comfortable to the student. I was recently in a meeting where it was announced that we had over XX weeks without any reported problems related to non-heterosexual orientation. It wasn’t shared as a great thing to brag about, but to reflect on how we make sure every student on campus is aware of the options available to get help.

For me, the moment that UAF became home was when the Chancellor joined the Ally Week session titled Trans 101. He came tolegitimately learn what the challenges are for Trans students, and he started implementing them in less than a week. I trust an administrator who is paying attention to what he doesn’t know, is teachable, and stands up with students who are struggling.
Even if you are reading this comment in 2020, try emailing me, (it will probably still work) if you need someone to think about your options outside the bubble of LDS colleges.

Sadly enough, my young friends, it is a characteristic of our age that if people want any gods at all, they want them to be gods who do not demand much, comfortable gods, smooth gods who not only don’t rock the boat but don’t even row it, gods who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds. (See Henry Fairlie, The Seven Deadly Sins Today (1978), 15-16.)

At the zenith of His mortal ministry, Jesus said, “Love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 15:12.) To make certain they understood exactly what kind of love that was, He said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15.) and “whosoever … shall break one of [the] least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be … the least in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:19; emphasis added.) Christlike love is the greatest need we have on this planet in part because righteousness was always supposed to accompany it. So if love is to be our watchword, as it must be, then by the word of Him who is love personified, we must forsake transgression and any hint of advocacy for it in others. Jesus clearly understood what many in our modern culture seem to forget: that there is a crucial difference between the commandment to forgive sin (which He had an infinite capacity to do) and the warning against condoning it (which He never ever did even once).

Just leave it alone by now. I get it. BLANK is a sin, BLANK will be judged and the BLANKER will be admonished to repent. You’ve done it already. It is done. Go home and feel like you’ve accomplished your sacred mission- and as Lehi in Jerusalem, you’ve warned the people it is their choice to follow you or to “suffer” the consequence. Thank you.

Regardless of how God sees homosexuality, how dare the provost discuss a student’s sexuality with others? How dare he suggest to other students that Nic was soliciting sex from anyone? How could he see that as Christian? That is unkind, that is uncharitable, and yes, that is harassment. It may be that the provost had good intentions. But denying that this is anything short of persecution is an outright lie.

What is the logic here? Imagine if he had gone around suggesting that some female student was soliciting sex from male classmates. “Well, we know that she is attracted to men (she makes no secret of it) and she even has a boyfriend… It is very likely that she is having sexual relations with these students, or attempting to do so.” That is sick. The provost implied this young man was some kind of promiscuous rule-breaker on the sole basis of knowing he was attracted to men. If one of my professors had done this to me, I probably would have killed myself. I can see how it’s possible that some honest mistakes, combined with some bad cultural narratives (that do not actually come from the church) could lead to this situation. But I cannot believe that some who would call themselves christians are defending this. I thank my God that the student is now at another school, where he will (hopefully) be safe among loving atheists, who apparently have a better grasp on Christlike love (and on the laws of our country) than those I had seen as my brothers and sisters in Christ.

its crazy to me how this who thing has blown up. Madison Sowell is by no means a perfect human being and we all make mistakes, who knows if he could have handled it better.He is a highly respectable man and deserves to be treated ad such.Yet SVU is a conservative school and one should take that into account while attending. One should consider the tolerence level of their sexual orientation at a school before making up thier mind. Also, you should really take the honor code to heart before signing it. There are many other options out there where one would be happier. By signing annhonor code you agree to it. This whole thing is silly. We shouldnt punish sowell for trying his best to uphold the schools values and we shouldnt be trying to crucify nic. Thats NOT our job as saints or readers or facebook scrollers. Godisgreat? What hole did you crawl out of. You sound like some flds from montana who buried spagettios in his back yard.

as a former svu student who only lasted a year at the school, just because you are gat doesn’t mean you are breaking honor code. I decided not to return as my housemates turned me into the dean for having a girlfriend. After being ridiculed by various students and taken into the deans office and threatened with being expelled. Being taken from my housing and moved. And being treated like I was dirt I decided to not continue my education with the university. Being a member of the church doesn’t give anyone the right to treat anyone in this manner. Svu is full of bad that people do not see or do not turn in but for being a gay student being gay alone is not a reason to be picked out of the crowd.

Too much bias, I have to wonder what you mean when you say “One should consider the tolerence level of their sexual orientation at a school before making up thier mind. Also, you should really take the honor code to heart before signing it. There are many other options out there where one would be happier. By signing annhonor code you agree to it.” First, it seems that Nic did not break the honor code, which by my understanding forbids extra-marital sex, not but not dating someone of the opposite gender. (I don’t go to SVU so I guess I could be misunderstanding?) Second, it sounds like investigating a possible issue is not the provost’s job, and even if it was, destroying Nic’s reputation before even talking to him was not the way to go about investigating. But I think the third issue is most important. It kind of sounds like you’re saying “well, gay people probably know they won’t be treated well here, so we can’t be blamed for persecuting them if they come anyway.” And the first bit is fair- if gay people didn’t know how they would be treated at SVU before, they sure know now! But I don’t think that releases the provost and others from responsibility for acting wrongly. Jesus knew that the Jews would crucify him and came to them anyway. Does that mean they aren’t responsible for murdering their savior? I’m not saying they (or the provost) shouldn’t be forgiven, but I am saying that there should be consequences.

Well i did attend svu for one year. The reason being why i didnt stay is because of the super strict honor code. They do consider just dating the same sex to be a breech of conduct, no matter what the dean was ok with. And it does say nic had a boyfriend at the time. Thats enough fuel for a bond fire at that school. Frankly im surprised that just one of the schools officals got involved. Im not saying the prrsecution is wrong, just that we all shouldnt be shocked. We are talking about a school where my RA was skeptical about my herbal tea and almost reported it before talking to me about it. (Imagine the struggle if they knew you were gay!)it is a private christian college (mostly lds but they claim no affiliation…ha). And i highly doubt that the provost was running around crying witch to the campus. I think this whole situation blew out of proportion and the only way to get the real story is to ask nic and the provost and then access. While thre i related this college to a christian highschool, thats how drama spreads. Its very small and everyone knows and talks to each other. Its very hard to process this story correctly having never gone to school here.

Too much bias, I see where you’re coming from (I am LDS and I attend BYU, so I am familiar with those cultures) but I think you’re missing my point. If the honor code Nic signed didn’t say he couldn’t have a boyfriend, then the school should not legally be able to punish him in any way for having one. They should not consider that relationship something that requires investigation any more than they do heterosexual relationships. Assuming that Nic was breaking the honor code based on the fact that he was dating a guy is wrong, and it’s not the provost’s job to investigate that even if it was a violation of the code. What you’ve said seems to mean “this is just something that happens and we can’t get mad because that’s the culture.” I disagree. You’re right that that is the culture, but SVU is dishonestly enforcing rules that they do not let the students know about when they allow the provost to investigate/punish/mistreat students for dating another person of their same gender. We as christians, and we as mormons, should be better than that. So I am kind of mad, and I hope you can understand why I think you should be mad too.

Yeah i understand where you are coming from. I just refuse to waste energy being mad over what SVU enforces with its honor code. After being there you realize its run by the types of people that give mormans a bad name, and many of those are students. In my experiance when people like the honor council and provost or dean got involved it was usually intolerant or judging students that forced them to become involved. I have have been involved in countless battles defending peers from the honor code and sometimes you win for the person and sometimes you dont. The point is the school is just that way and im not trying to be harsh but if it offends thr students they should just leave. Its not worth the energy .Besides there are much better universities out there with a high reputation. To me it was a glorified highschool and hasnt been around too long and they are still figuring out how to be a university. I am sad for the school and nic but im not going to be mad over a tiny private religious school in the middle of nowhere.

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