We Make Our Own Destiny

This time, I finally arrived at the movie theater early enough to catch the previews. I love previews! But in Hong Kong, they’re followed by a slew of skincare commercials that really kill the mood. Anyway, Prince of Persia!

1. WHAT IS A BLUE-EYED WHITE BOY DOING IN PERSIA?!?? I didn’t think it would be this bothersome, but it is very much so. I wanted to laugh every time I saw a white person in this film because there were actually quite a lot. It sucks.

2. Jakey is fiiiine, but this cast & plot are garbage from the start. There is literally almost no expository: nothing is ever explained to us. Why does anyone do anything? Why is Jakey so good at everything? Why is he like this?

3. The princess has an annoying Paris Hilton voice, and she’s really not that beautiful. They should’ve gotten an actual Persian woman. Also, why is she such a nagging, whiny brat? Her character is really despicable, and her stance is awkward.

4. There are many times when it looks & feels just like the video game, which is good for fans but looks fake & contrived as a film. Frankly, the CGI in this movie is not very good; it’s comparable to The Mummy, which came out…over a decade ago.

5. The first time the princess met eyes with Jakey was almost unbearable. The entire theater collapsed with snickers.

6. Jakey looks soooo hot when he fights o_o his arms are delicious and his face is incredible … even his furry chest is tolerable. His brother was pretty goodlooking too.

7. Is ostrich racing possible? LOL.

8. I hate romance. Why does it have to show up in every freaking movie? This is why I prefer Iron Man: the less, the better. Seriously though, Jakey’s puppy eyes make those moments overpoweringly cheesy.

9. Suddenly, it turns into some Indiana Jones-style film with quicksand & secret passageways. Um…

10. I suppose the important thing is that we are left with a good feeling at the end, and The Sands of Time accomplishes that at least.