Ms. O scores a big KO
By Terry
TV broadcasters give blow-by-blow as Ms. Olympia punches her way to Championship
"Welcome to the pay-per-view broadcast of the first Million Dollar Fight in women's
boxing. Current Middleweight Champion Jane Hooker will be defending her title
against challenger Linda Murphy. We have a sold-out crowd here in Las Vegas. I'm
your announcer, Bill Smith. And with me tonight is Joe Jones, former Heavyweight
Champion of the world. What do you think about this fight, Joe?"
"Bill, this has got to be the most anticipated matchup in the history of women's boxing.
Linda Murphy is the most popular female boxer ever. She's extremely strong. For
eight years in a row she's won the Ms. Olympia contest, making her the top female
bodybuilder in the world. And besides all those muscles, she's very beautiful and
sexy."
"That's right, Joe! Linda's a knockout in more ways than one. She's never lost a fight,
and all her victories were by knockouts. Pound for pound, she's regarded as the most
dangerous woman in boxing."
"Well, Jane Hooker is no creampuff. She's won 30 fights and kept her championship
belt for two years. She's had her share of knockouts. She's very mean and an
extremely aggressive slugger. And she's pretty strong herself."
"Jane may be strong, but she's a weakling compared to Linda Murphy! Linda bench-
presses 265 pounds for 10 reps! And she holds the women's power lifting record in her
weight class, bench-pressing 395 pounds! That's two and a half times her body
weight!"
"Wow!"
"She does biceps curls with 150 pounds! And leg squats with 470 pounds!"
"Holy mackerel! That's pumping some serious iron!"
"This woman has a punch like a pile driver! In fact one of her favorite training
exercises is breaking concrete blocks with her fists!"
"My God!"
"All Linda's sparring partners are men. She says other women aren't strong enough to
give her a challenge. But it's hard finding sparring partners, because after she beats
them up, they're scared to come back!"
"I can believe that. She breaks noses, she breaks jaws, she breaks teeth, she breaks ribs,
and she gives concussions! Linda has put most of her opponents in the hospital!"
"She's also got great boxing skills. People focus on her punching power and forget
that she's an excellent boxer. She's very fast. And she's the best in the business at
avoiding punches. She's so good she makes her opponents look like novices."
"Linda won her first fights with quick knockouts, but she doesn't do that anymore. She
wants to show off her boxing skills."
"That's right. She says she wants to give the fans their money's worth. So she
entertains the crowd by giving her opponents a prolonged and spectacular beating
before she knocks them out. It's more fun for her and for the audience."
"Fun?! (laughs) That must be hell for her opponents! Linda destroys their pride as she
destroys their bodies! Her goal is utter and complete annihilation!"
"Absolutely! She almost killed her last opponent!"
"Linda has promised that Jane Hooker will be leaving the building in an ambulance!
And she hopes Jane has funeral insurance."
"Wow! I can understand why Jane has been reluctant to fight her."
"Linda has been demanding a chance at the championship for a long time. She calls
herself the 'people's champ'. Her wild popularity made this Million Dollar fight
possible."
"How could Jane refuse? Even if she loses, she gets $250,000!"
"There's one thing I don't understand, Bill. As you know, female boxers make very
little money when they start out. Linda was making about $300,000 a year from her
Ms. Olympia prizes, modeling fees, and endorsement contracts. It's not like she needed
the money. Why did she get into professional boxing?"
"Well, Joe, she says she loves beating up people in front of thousands of cheering fans.
The money was gravy."
"(laughs) She loves her job!"
"She never imagined she could earn a million bucks for one fight! Her decision really
paid off!"
"And now here she comes! The challenger, Linda Murphy! The crowd is cheering as
she makes her way to the ring."
"She really is gorgeous!"
"She climbs into the ring. She's blowing kisses to the crowd. She obviously loves the
fans as much as they love her."
"Linda is wearing a long red robe. She's untying the sash. The crowd is yelling, 'Take
it off!'"
"Linda gives them a playful smile. She slowly opens the robe and lets it fall...."
"Wow! Look at that body!"
"Amazing! That's Linda's famous Ms. Olympia physique! She's only 5'5" tall, but her
frame is packed with 155 pounds of solid muscle. Ripped to the max!"
"No kidding! The crowd has erupted in cheers and wolf whistles! Her, uh, chest is
very impressive, too."
"You noticed that, eh? Her measurements are 42DD-24-35!"
"Wow! And her top is little more than an athletic bra. Very sexy!"
"Her skin-tight shorts aren't bad either. They show off her very nice, uh, backside."
"She looks like an extremely athletic Playboy model. Very sexy!"
"You said that already. (laughs) Well, Linda has posed for Playboy. And she's
modeled for many other magazines, mostly muscle and fitness magazines."
"And now look! She's flexing her biceps! They look like mountains! Look at those
perfect peaks!"
"The crowd is going wild! Linda is famous for her 18-inch arms. Her biceps are as big
as grapefruits! Unbelievable!"
"You can see why Linda makes mincemeat of her opponents. I feel sorry for anybody
who gets hit with those muscles!"
"Her abs and obliques look like chiseled stone!"
"Linda does 1000 weighted sit-ups and leg raises a day, while her trainer pounds a
medicine ball into her stomach. Needless to say, her abs are hard as iron! She loves to
have her sparring partners punch her stomach for 30 minutes, then she pounds their
bellies into jelly!"
"Very impressive! And her legs are awesome!"
"She's got 27 inch thighs!"
"Incredible! Just imagine if she wrapped those legs around you!"
"Forget about it. She'd crush you like a bug!"
"Ouch! But it might be worth it! (laughs)"
"Actually Linda likes to wrestle, and one of her favorite moves is the scissors hold. She
wins lots of matches that way."
"Man, I'd like to see that sometime!"
"Hey, look! Jane Hooker has climbed into the ring. But nobody seems to notice. Linda
is doing a posing routine for the crowd, and they love it. Look at those triceps! They're
like slabs of steel!"
"Jane is furious! She's the champ, but Linda is stealing the show. Jane's getting a few
boos, but that's it."
"Linda is an expert at psyching out her opponents, even before the fight starts. She has
the crowd in the palm of her hand! She has lots of charisma! And there's something
feline about the way she moves. Very sexy!"
"You already said that. But you're right. You can't take your eyes off of her."
"Jane is staring at Linda, too. She's gotta be a little intimidated by Linda's muscles, but
mainly she's angry. She turns away and removes her robe. She's taller and stockier
than Linda, but she looks flabby compared to the challenger. More than a few of Jane's
pounds come from fat, but Linda is ALL muscle."
"No fat on that girl! She's in great shape for this showdown! And here come the
introductions."
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to rumble! Ten rounds of boxing for the women's
Middleweight Championship of the world! The challenger this evening, fighting
out of the red corner, weighed in at 155 pounds. She has a perfect record of 22
wins, all by way of big knockout. Please welcome Linda Murphy!
"Oh, my! Listen to those cheers! They're chanting Linda's name. Linda gives a big
smile and shows those big biceps again. And the cheers get louder!"
And fighting out of the blue corner -- She's the Middleweight Champion, weighing
in at 160 pounds. Her professional record is 30 wins and 7 losses, 15 of her wins by
knockout. Please welcome Jane Hooker!
"Well, Jane's not getting much of a reception, is she, Joe?"
"No, Bill, she's not. Mainly boos and catcalls. And she is NOT happy about it."
"Now the fighters meet in the center of the ring for instructions from the referee."
"Jane is glaring at Linda with murder in her eyes. Linda is looking back at her, but she
looks amused. She's smiling, like she's got all the confidence in the world."
"OK, they tap gloves and return to their corners."
"You can feel the anticipation in this arena, Bill!"
DING!
"And there's the bell for the first two-minute round. Linda comes out dancing. Jane
charges out of her corner, and immediately throws a hard right hand! Linda slips it.
Jane throws a big left hook! Linda ducks under it and dances away!"
"Jane wants to end this fight quickly. She's already going for a knockout!"
"Linda is calm and cool, bouncing on her toes. Jane goes after her, firing another heavy
right. Linda blocks it and counters with a solid jab."
"The crowd liked that! Linda lands the jab again, snapping Jane's head back."
"Linda is bobbing and weaving. Jane throws a left and a right, but she can't hit Linda."
"There's a double jab from Linda that knocks Jane back a few steps!"
"Linda is giving Jane a boxing lesson. There's another jab! She's sticking and moving
from side to side. She's landing those jabs whenever she wants. They look effortless,
but they're very fast and they're hurting Jane."
"Linda's so quick and strong that Jane can't stop her punches."
"Jane comes back, swinging wildly at Linda's head. But she can't connect. Linda is
evading Jane's punches with ease."
"Linda is fun to watch. She moves, feints, and punches with a lot of rhythm, like a
dancer."
"Jane's is getting flustered. Linda keeps picking her apart with those jabs. She's
taunting her, making her feel foolish."
"Jane misses again. Linda answers with a quick left hook, right cross, left uppercut,
right uppercut!"
"Nice combination!"
"Jane is shaken up. She gets Linda in a clinch. She's banging away at Linda's
midsection!"
"That's like hitting a brick wall! She's not hurting Linda at all. Linda shoves her away
before the ref can pull them apart. Linda's laughing at Jane!"
"The crowd is laughing, too!"
"Jane looks disheartened. Linda sticks out her tongue -- she pops a sharp jab in Jane's
face, then another, backing Jane toward the corner. There's about 30 seconds left in this
round."
"OOOH! Linda nails Jane with a HARD right! She smashed Jane's nose like a
tomato!"
"Uh-oh! Jane staggers back into the corner. She's in trouble!"
"Linda moves in and... OOOOH! She hit Jane with a tremendous left hook!"
"She knocked Jane silly!"
"Now Linda comes in close, and look! She's flexing her right arm in front of Jane's
face!"
"Jane's stunned, but that huge close-up of Linda's biceps got her attention!"
"Linda drops her arm and...OOOOH! She drives a sledgehammer punch into Jane's
stomach! Jane's whole body quivers!"
"My God! Linda is keeping her glove buried deep in Jane's belly! She's twisting it
around in there!"
"That's gotta' hurt! Look at the pain on Jane's face! Her eyes are bugged out like a
frog!"
DING! DING!
"There's the bell. Linda still has Jane pinned to the post! The ref tries to pull Linda
away. Linda doesn't want to remove her glove from Jane's stomach, but she does.
She'll lose some points for that."
"Jane has collapsed to the canvas, clutching her belly and gasping for air. Linda is
standing over her and taunting her."
"The ref tells Linda to return to her corner. She strolls back across the ring. She's got a
happy grin on her face. She won that round, and she made it look easy."
"The crowd is yelling and whistling and chanting her name. She stands in her corner,
waving to the fans."
"Jane's only got one minute to recover before the next round. Her trainer is helping her
to her stool. She's still bent over. Her chest is heaving. Her face looks like a human
punching bag. Her trainer is cleaning her up and giving her words of encouragement."
"Yeah, well, Linda gave a serious beating to Jane's body and ego, but Jane's still the
champ. She's not quitting yet."
"That might be the biggest mistake of her life. Because Linda Murphy was just getting
warmed up."
"Yeah, Linda is grinning at Jane, pounding her gloves together. She looks eager to
really rip into Jane this time."
DING!
"OK, here's round two. Linda dances to the center of the ring. Jane's coming out more
slowly and cautiously than in the first round. Linda pounces on her with a rapid-fire
burst of jabs! Jane covers up, but Linda punches through her gloves with double
uppercuts!"
"The fans love it! Linda's doing an Ali shuffle and making faces at Jane. Playing to
the crowd."
"They circle and... OOOH! Linda unloads a vicious right hand! It sends Jane flying
back across the ring! She bounces off the ropes! OOOOH! Linda catches her in the
stomach with a brutal punch!"
"That hurt Jane! She slumps against Linda and clinches. Linda hits her in the stomach
again, and again, and again!"
"She's lifting Jane off her feet with those punches!"
"Jane's groans are so loud you can hear them in the back row! And AGAIN to the
stomach! The fans are going crazy!"
"Now Linda tosses Jane into the ropes like a rag doll. She hits her with an uppercut to
straighten her up."
"Linda's smile is gone now. She's ready to kill!"
"Linda goes to the body with a left hook, a right, a left, a right..."
"Jane is hanging on the ropes, absorbing the relentless punishment. Linda is using all
her muscles now! I can hear Jane's ribs breaking!"
"Jane is crying! She's whimpering like a baby!"
"Now Linda moves those hooks up to Jane's head! She knocks Jane's mouthpiece out,
and now she's knocking Jane's teeth out! She's talking to her as she works on Jane's
head, jerking it from side to side!"
"OOOOOH! Linda hits Jane with a powerful uppercut! I heard Jane's jaw crack!"
"Linda is showing no mercy! Her big arms are pumping like pistons as she hammers
Jane from every angle! I'm surprised Jane's head is still attached to her body!"
"This is a slaughter! The ref's gotta stop this! He's moving in."
"Jane is going down. Linda hits her with a monster right hand! It knocks Jane through
the ropes!"
"The ref is pulling Linda back!"
"Jane is going through the ropes! She's falling out of the ring! She lands on the
ground! Her body is twitching!"
"The crowd is standing and cheering and stomping their feet!"
"Jane's body has stopped twitching. She's out cold! The ref doesn't bother to count.
He waves his arms... and it's over! Linda Murphy is the winner and the new
Middleweight Champion of the world!"
"What a knockout! Linda is ecstatic! She raises her arms in victory! She stands on the
ropes and flexes those cannonball biceps! The crowd's roar is deafening!"
"Linda Murphy is the real deal! She's got a killer body, and she knows how to use it!
She gave the fans a show they'll never forget!"
"Absolutely! And Jane Hooker will never forget the beating Linda gave her! Jane's
still unconscious. The ring doctors are trying to revive her, but she's not responding.
They'll have to carry Jane away on a stretcher."
"The ref was going to stop the fight, but that final barrage of punches was so fast and
furious that by the time the ref got there it was too late."
"Linda Murphy delivered on her promise. Jane's going to be unconscious for a LONG
time after that FEROCIOUS beating, and she'll wake up in an emergency room. She'll
most certainly be spending a lot of time in the hospital, too. She'll be lucky if she
doesn't have brain damage."
"That's what you get if you fight Linda Murphy! Linda showed the world how she
kicks ass!"
"And how! The announcer is holding up her arm. They're giving her the championship
belt. Linda's got it all ' beauty, brawn, and now the world championship title!"