that moment you post a joke and realize you’re entirely unoriginal and nothing you say is funny and nobody loves you and the room is full of spiders and they’re burrowing into my eyes Jesus Christ help

First you hold your hand out and give your companion a psuedo waist high high-five (mid-five?)
Afterwards you grab each other’s hands and interlock fingers into a tight grip.
Finally you pull towards one another and using your free arm rap it around your companion. You may pat their back if your bond is particularly strong.

“Okay, good, good -let’s see how you did. Oh. Well, you only broke *one* rib this time; that’s a big improvement! I have a feeling it’s only going to take one or two more tries for you to pass! Okay, bring in the next volunteer!”

“Thank you for your, ah… assistance with the trust falls, Ms. Lessick. Now we’re going to be practicing ‘showing sympathy through light physical contact’. Everyone turn to your training partner and give them a caring, reassuring hug.”

*Ruth slams her partner against a wall and kisses her*

“… Oh, what the hell, good enough. We haven’t got all day here. But you might try using a little less tongue next time, Ms. Lessick. Now, moving on to ‘establishing yourself as a kind and caring leader’…”

The first time I was just doing some stretches when he ran at me from my blind spot.I couldn’t see him ‘kay?
Then when he got up, I guess he thought I punched him so he ran at me again. I just kind of held my fist out in front of me- unmoving, just holding it there, you know, to keep some distance between me and him. Then he runs into it again. Like 7 or 8 times again.
Then the cops show up and somehow it’s my fault.

Stepping stone towards a great friendship between two broken people working together to heal…if only they would open up to each other… [seperate spotlights on each of them, to emphasize loneliness, as rest of stage is covered in darkness] [sad and sentimental music plays]

And then, all of a sudden, I started picturing a musical DoA, with Amber as the main character. And it was all about how she became Amazi-Girl and – where the heck are we gonna find an actor/singer who can also do the over-the-top battle-dance moves…?

You mean the saliva that likely got washed away in the rain and was never even noticed by Blaine because he was already unconscious?

Yes, those crafty forensic scientists sure are something.

In all seriousness, an actual DNA test for an attacker’s identity is worthless unless the perpetrator is already in their database. Nevermind the fact it takes from several weeks to several months to correctly process a DNA sample. As a matter of fact, because of these drawbacks, DNA tracing is rarely used in the actual process of finding the perp, despite what CSI would have you believe. It’s more commonly used to corroborate his identity so that the trial may go along more smoothly. The actual investigation has to be done through old-fashioned footwork.

TL;DR: That big ol’ wad is useless unless Danny is a registered criminal.

Also started to have some likes for her when she was trying to make amends to Billie by repairing and returning her “Dragons” top. The fact that she followed it up with a stolen cheerleader’s outfit only shows that old habits die hard.

I’m really happy to see Ruth here. Specifically, trying to help Amber. She’s soldiering on, despite having lost some very important emotional support by no fault of her own. She’s still doing her job to the best of her ability, and doing a fine job of it, too.

I don’t think she has any idea what Amber does in her spare time or why she’s hard to find. I don’t think she really cares, either. Her extent of caring right now is that she knows Blaine is an asshole and had to forcefully evict him from the dorm already, and given that Amber is perceivably such a shut in, can guess what kind of abuse he doled out on his daughter and that Amber hates him when she’s not terrified of him… so the best way she thinks to show that she understands is to essentially be all like “Good news, your dad got his ass beat!” except a bit more subdued.

She knows that Blaine’s an utter jackass, that he’s not allowed to visit Amber at school, and that he tried to do so anyway, resulting in an altercation in the dorms. She probably put together that, even if she doesn’t know exactly what went on between the two in their past, it must’ve been pretty damn bad to result in that ban on visitation.
This is probably more of a “That ass got what was coming to him! Woo-hoo!” kind of high five.

Man, that’s strange. I commuted to my classes all through college, so I never experienced this RA thing. Then again, my wife stayed at her college and barely experienced an RA either. Are they supposed to do this? Do they actually hold floor meetings and stuff like that? Hadn’t thought of it until now.

Speaking as a current RA, yes, this is exactly the sort of stuff that we’re expected to do (well if you’re a good RA and actually do your job anyways). Floor meetings, programs, bulletin boards, door decorations, all that sort of stuff. It varies depending on colleges though of course. Mine’s pretty big on RAs being a pretty active part of the residential community and actually doing their jobs while others are much more lax and laid back about things. Every RA is different, though, so your experiences will vary even in the same building.

Most of my RAs were more like the guys’. “I’m holding this floor meeting because they said to. Drunkenness is not consent, remember to wrap it, now get outta here, I’m missing the Simpsons.”

One of my friends was an RA one year. He spent basically all his time that he wasn’t actually the RA on duty and required to be there outside his dorm so that he couldn’t be roped into assisting the morons residents on his floor.

Of course, he’s also the one who wrote himself up for underage drinking one night – personally handed the form to the dorm director and everything (who filed it away safely under ‘B’, for “blackmail material”) – so he may not be the ideal RA role model.