What type of games do you enjoy? MMO's only Collectable card games (such as EVE Online, Magic etc) Dungeons & Dragons, roleplaying games Other IRL dice throwing games Other games? There's only EVE! All kind of games, I like to try anything Any game where I can be _evil_...

I'm a first time writer here on eve-pirate, and while I don't fancy myself a pirate, the rest of EVE probably would. I run a small band of PvPers that isn't really interested in the pirate/anti-pirate politics - instead, we're all just a pack of ADD kids that like to see pretty explosions, indiscriminate of who they belong to. We take a lot of our inspiration from TRAPS and REPO.

This story has a little background to it, so if you don't care and want to skip down a bit, it's marked.

Cleared for publication by: Ander

A couple of years ago, when I first started playing EVE, I fell into a group of players that ran complexes out in Sukanen over near CVA space. We defended the territory veraciously against pirates and earned our stripes (meaning we got our butts handed to us a lot). For a very long time, we sought out the approval of CVA and did our very best to help them out, as did most of the corps in that general region.

After some time, some of us started to figure out that CVA was using us for what they wanted and had no real inclination to let us be part of their alliance or even give us anything more than access to their generic security channels. Apparently this was common knowledge, but to an aspiring pack of noobs with the best of intentions, this was a bit of a blow. Having been burned, I proceeded to go on a tear through CVA lowsec in/near Sukanen, killing whatever haulers/miners/ratters I could get before I got blobbed to death. I really only ever picked off CVA pet corps/alliances and raised a few alarms in the security channels.

End backstory.

A buddy of mine, Laryk, just returned to the game after a six or seven month sebatical, so we decided to go down to Sukanen, et al. to do a little hellraising. I hopped in my trusty arazu, he brought along a wolf, and together we proceeded on our one-dimentional tirade of chaos.

Hopping through the belts we eventually came across a stabber that was ratting. It was a pretty standard, run-of-the-mill kill. Laryk landed a web and a couple points on him and I warped over to him to help finish off the kill. I snagged the pod and offered a ransom of 10 million isk.
2008.07.15 02:27

He then convoed me from wherever his clone was living:
Syringe > yessir?
####### > are u the one who just podded me?
Syringe > yeah
####### > lol
Syringe > what's up? what can I do for ya?
####### > k
####### > nothing now
####### > see you later though:)
Syringe > I look forward to it
####### >

I think this was a veiled war threat? I honestly have no clue, but it was still a good way to get the night started.

Naturally, since we're in CVA territory and since we've unveiled ourselves as 'pirates', I assumed that the security channels would be BLAZING with our names. We hop around a few more systems and low and behold, there's a caracal in a belt. We geared up for another by-the-numbers kill (tackle -> kill -> loot -> leave before blob shows up).

Laryk engaged the caracal since he found the target first. I warped in at a little bit of a distance to throw a point on him so that Laryk didn't burn up his cap trying to hold his point. Laryk easily could have gotten this one by himself, but I toss my drones in to make things go a little faster. Remember, we're trying to beat the blob that I was SURE was coming. The caracal pops fairly quickly and we decide to let the pod go as our security status was beginning to drop pretty rapidly.

We saw a harbinger on scan, so we didn't think much more of the caracal.

Laryk once again landed on him first at a planet just as I was warping off to a different belt.Â I smelled 'bait' all over this ship, so I told Laryk to be ready to warp out. Unfortunately, since I was in warp, it was taking me a little bit of time to get over to the fight. Laryk lost cap stability and had to drop the point. The harbinger got away.

Immediately in local:

Harbypilot > laryk was attacking
Blob Captain > in what ship?
Harby Pilot > he may have been in a carrier?
Harby Pilot > he attacked my corpmate in a different belt too before me, corpmate said it was a carrier possibly
Blob Captain > well if he wants a ifght, with somone who wants a fight. he can get it
Laryk > im up for a fight, i just need a second, looking through my assetts tab to find the carrier i didnt know i had
Harby Pilot > lol guess you werent in one then

Carrier!?!?!??!
At this point, me and Laryk bust up laughing over comms. I checked the corp of both the harbinger pilot and the caracal pilot, and yes, they were both in the same corp, which I hadn't bothered to take into account before we attacked. Somehow, despite the fact that I landed the final blow on the caracal killmail, there was no mention of me in their intel. Laryk was the pilot and his wolf had magically morphed into a carrier.

Well, we watched as people sat around trying to figure out what was going on in local. The blob captain was still trying to establish exactly what and who it was he was hunting, whilst the carc and harby pilots were proving to be fairly unhelpful. Eventually, they caught on and the hunt for Laryk ensued.

I started bouncing around the belts and planets scanning and seeing what targets I could find. At this point, we were sure that it was a bad idea to engage anything in this system, but it was hard not to have fun with it.

I warped to a belt and my overview registered the blob captain and a huggin pilot about 40km away. As I was about to have Laryk warp to me, I whizzed directly past a couple asteroids and found myself very abruptly decloaked! I suppose that's what I get for not warping in at 100km. Despite my flagrant error, the two pilots don't even make a move in my direction. I was a little baffled, but I warped out and recloaked my ship. As long as I got to keep my ship, I was happy.

After we burned off our GCCs, we got ready to head out of system. Laryk took one gate and I jumped out of another, the plan being to meet up a few systems away and that if they caught one of us, they weren't going to catch both of us.

Catch us they did. Well, Laryk rather. The huggin pilot that I ran into in the belt caught Laryk just as we entered our rendevous system and popped him. He managed to escape with his pod, but alas, his wolf-turned-carrier bit it hard. Some smacktalk ensued in local (sorry, didn't keep the logs) and Laryk was laughing.

Laryk kindly thanked the huggin pilot for a fun evening and a good fight, which I think baffled him more than anything else. Suddenly in local:

Blob Captain > Sorry syringe. didn't mean to steal your kill.
Blob Captain > i know you would have got him eventually

Wait, WHAT!?!? It dawned on me then that the reason they didn't tear me to pieces in the belt when I was uncloaked is because they thought I was one of the good guys! They thought I was trying to kill Laryk. Once again, me and Laryk burst out laughing over our comms. This is just too much. I responded with a hearty:

Still laughing hysterically, we manage to sneak Laryk's pod out of system and back to safety. Fun was had by all and it was a spectacular evening of mis-intelligence and general debauchery.

BONUS STORY!

As I'm waiting for Laryk to come back in a different ship I started jumping around again, looking for targets. Low and behold, I stumbled across a HULK in a .3 system in a belt, unprotected! What is this guy doing out here? I hang off of him cloaked for a little bit and do some scans for his backup. He had corpmates in system, but I wasn't seeing 'em on the scanner. This had to be a trap of some kind.

Before Laryk had a chance to grab another ship, a vagabond pilot made a drop on the hulk. No more waiting for Laryk - either this was a trap or it wasn't and I wasn't gonna stick around and let someone take my hulk kill away from me. I aligned, decloaked about 40km off of the hulk, dropped a point, some damps (why the hell not) and threw some drones at the hapless miner.

Apparently the vagabond pilot wasn't aware of whether or not I was part of a trap or not as he locked me and began to fly a little more erratically. He dropped out of his scram range of the hulk, but quickly righted himself as (I assume) he figured out that I wasn't shooting at him.

I pulled my drones in, warped out and cloaked to burn off my timer. What a night!

I scouted around some more but didn't find anything and it was getting late, so I decided to pack it in. I said my goodbyes for the evening, docked up and logged for the night. The next day I log in and have a mail sitting in my inbox from the CEO of the corp that the hulk pilot was in:

2008.07.20 01:24
Syringe,

This is an official request for reimbursement of the loss of HulkPilot's hulk that you and VagabondPilot gank on 7.15 (KM to follow should you need it).

Seeing as that your corp is neutral / friendly to CVA I presume you'd like to keep it that way.

Thanks,
CEOofHulkPilotsCorp

At first I thought that this was just a request for compensation, which some carebear corps will ask for in these situations. He was trying to extort me for compensation for the hulk in order to retain my 'neutral/friendly' standing with CVA! This came as a shock to me as I had thought that CVA had me and Morphine Inc. on their red list after our random killing spree the previous night. Apparently what had happened is the huggin pilot that had killed Laryk reported my comment about hating pirates to the local intel channels and had been listed as 'friendly' because of it. This gave everyone in our corp a good laugh.

To this I replied something along the lines of (I didn't actually save a copy of the mail, so this isn't an exact record):

CEOofHulkPilotsCorp,
Your official request for official compensation has officially been denied.

Had your hulk pilot not been flying in low-sec unprotected, then he would not have lost his hulk and ultimately is not my responsibility. Think of this as Darwinism in action.

I was under the impression that CVA wasn't a big fan of me to begin with, so your threats are not intimidating.

Have a good day,
Syringe

And so my story draws to a close. I want to thank everyone involved for a fantastic evening. I will raise a glass in salute to all.

Absolutely hilarious and highly entertaining report--had me laughing the whole time! Two thumbs up! THIS is exactly what EVE should be about...and to my mind, where ALL the real fun is. I'm inspired...and look forward to more tales of confusion and mayhem from you.

Haha. Great story. And to Laryk, no wonder you couldn't "document these encounters" like Syringe did. And I quote, "I myself tried to document these encounters myself." WTF man. Your not even literate =P Only people I know of that redundant are Spanish speakers, but their language is meant to be spoken that way. Now watch me jack up some English somewhere in this post

Very nice. It's always hilarious to read about clueless people like the pilot that assumed you were hunting your buddy, regardless of where they are on the pirate/anti-pirate spectrum. Also, would your friend happen to know where I can buy one of these magical transforming Wolves? I could use a couple.

As a bit of a follow-up, CVA has finally set me and Morphine Inc to red standing. I've gotten some interesting convos involving this and they will probably make it into the next story. It basically boils down to me telling a pack of anti-pies that CVA and all their little pet corps are worse than pirates due to the harboring of macrominers and isk-farmers. There's more to it than that, but I don't wanna ruin the story =P