Ana Beatriz Barros

There’s so much wonderful celebrity skin in this week’s Reader Finds, I actually found myself in need of a handkerchief. No, for my eyes. I welled up with happy tears like when the dog you loved made it out of the mine before the explosion, only this is our favorite ladies of past and present baring tremendously hot bodies, so far more important. Oh, there I go again, gushing. No, with tears. Don’t be crude.

This week’s Reader Finds includes Ana Beatriz Barrosred hot in a Fabio Bartlett photoshoot (thanks to EgoReader ‘Dylan’), Lady Gaga upside down in a performance art piece (applause to ‘Ray D.’ on this unusual escapade), Brooklyn Decker topless in her epic Mark Squires shoot (many gracias to ‘Arnando’ for revisiting this classic), newcomer glamour model Kirstie Patterson flashing her amazing melons (tallyhos from ‘Ian’), Uma Thurman topless in her most dangerous liaison to date (classic young Uma from ‘Owby’), the now pregnant Teresa Palmer quite topless in Restraint (Aussie goodness from ‘Rita H.’), Miranda Kerr sextastic behind the scenes of her latest Cosmo shoot (uber-MILFiness via ‘Contrado’), a Latina model named Maria that just had to be shared (had to by the insistent ‘Steve L.’), Chloe Sevigny in one of her first of many topless roles (ta’s don’t cry by ‘Iggy’), Nicole Beharie topless in Shame (many thanks to ‘Jake’), Carey Mulligan one-upsmanship by being nekkid in the same film (holy tacos by ‘Anon’), Candice Swanepoel nekkid from a temporarily posted Instagram photo (can not verify, but a bunch of you sent this in, thanks to all), Kesha nipple peek in new Pitbull video (nice eagle eyes by ‘Choppy’), Cynthia Myers, Miss December ’68 with some amazing funbags (reliving the moment is ‘Darren’), telenovela star Michelle Vieth nekkid in her scandalous sex tape from 2000 (a few sent this in including Ego veteran ‘Jess D.’), Lucy Mecklenburgh covered topless in her 2014 calendar (transmitted by ‘Chris’), Kate Winslet topless and getting it on in Little Children (Kate’s precious pups sent by ‘Raymund’), Kaley Cuoco busty in her pink bra (TV still hotness from ‘Thomas’), Elisha Cuthbert memorable striptease (thrown over the fence by ‘Evan’), Gina Gershon topless (wow, another wayback machine expose from ‘Tiger’), sweet young Paulina Porizkova in a might fine bikini (hot body donated by ‘Sweet J.’), Micaela Schaefer nekkid in the streets (more more Micaela from ‘Stacey’), Penelope Cruz in another fine topless skinematic (such chesty hotness from ‘Dub’), Miranda Kerr again, but this time nekkid in her Russell James photoshoot (black and white mammaries from ‘Shawn’), Jenny McClain and her powerful punchy top (bodacious DD’s contributed by ‘Roman’), and Katee Sackhoff in a leggy new pictorial (gams of fineness from ‘Stefon’). It’s more than a barrel of laughs, it’s a bushel of bare babes. Enjoy.

Brazilian beauty Ana Beatriz Barros pimping something or other for Jennifer Lopez and reminding us once more that sex sells, and the sextastic, well, that sells even better. I’m not even quite sure what Ana is selling, but I know I want to be put down for a couple dozen. This is the type of uber-hotness that leads men to do so many stupid things then pretend like we didn’t know why we did them moments after. We did. We do. And Ana Beatriz Barros is so effin’ alluring doing it. Enjoy.

UPDATE:Thanks to all of you who noted that who our paparazzi noted as Ana Beatriz Barros in these photos is actually Dutch hottie model, Bregje Heinen. Something is going on with our snappers down in Miami this past week; could be sunspots, or more likely, weed and Cuba Libres, but we’re working out the mis-namings. We are, after all, men of science.

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Yes, it’s good to be Michael Bay. Beyond all the obvious reasons why, the Transformers director is spending this week in Miami conducting a Victoria’s Secret model shoot with some of the world’s hottest women in skimpy bikinis. We could say we’re not exactly sure why Michael Bay is involved in this project, but we think we have an idea.

So line up some of the most sextastic angels, Candice Swanepoel, Ana Beatriz Barros, and Behati Prinsloo, dress them in barely there bikinis, have them strut about in the Miami sun, and I’m not exactly sure what kind of directing you need, I mean, besides somebody who can actually kick the camera man in the hind to keep snapping away. Oh, I think I know what I’m coming back as in my next life. Or, should I say, who. Enjoy.

Honestly, the average ratio of guys to girls at my house parties is 8:1, it’s like an enormous sausage fest where a bunch of dudes circle and edge ever closer to some girl in a back brace who can’t run away. So, I gotta give it up to Roberto Cavalli, the world’s only straight fashion designer. What a ruse to get the hot ladies onto your boat and at your parties. Dude has it going on. His party last night in Cannes to celebrate his new store opening featured a gaggle of the world’s finest models, including the highly underrated Ana Beatriz Barros, who has three names, but a million points of hotness, followed not far behind by the likes of Bar Refaeli, Alessandra Ambrosio, skanky hot Victoria Silvstedt, and Ana Araujo, young Brazilian hottie model girlfriend of cradle-robbing Ronnie Wood. So, am I jealous of Cavalli? Yes, yes, I am. Enjoy.

(Yes, you will note that Bar Refaeli and Victoria Silvstedt showed up to the Cavalli party wearing the same dress. Oh, fashion faux pas! Ladies, you may now titter.)

Sometimes a pretty girl steals your heart. Sometimes, a super sexy woman will own your soul. But, most of the time, a smoking hot lady will just give you a big boner smile. Such is the case with Victoria’s Secret veteran Brazilian supermodel Ana Beatriz Barros, appearing in this month’s Jack magazine (yes, yes, insert your own ‘jack’ joke) and getting all racy and kinky and sexy and just flashing the results of Mother Nature’s blessings combined with countless hours in the gym to produce a wonderful sextacular show of the sexy celebrity female form. Pop some popcorn and untwist some red vines, because it’s one hell of a show. Enjoy.

Imagine the hot mom wood factor at the school where Elle Macpherson drops her kid off, then Claudia Schiffer drops her kid off, then the two moms spot each other, smile, and start kissing. I don’t know about you, but if it’s me ogling this, back in grade school, I’m probably in the nurse’s office the rest of the day with an ice pack to my scholastic region.

Say what you will about Christina Hendricks ‘losing it’, okay, nobody’s really said this, but she is pushing the boundaries on curvaceousness around the tummy and asstastic, still, you can not take away her tremendous bosom, on display here in Paris for a Mad Men honorific. A rack is a rack is a rack in fact — Dr. Seuss.

Whenever we do lots of coverage of Victoria’s Secret angels, I always get a little wistful for former angels, such as ridiculously hot Ana Beatriz Barros, who, thankfully, graces the pages of the March edition of Elle magazine, giving us a glimpse into her hot-bodied hotness. I can’t wait for my Elle to arrive (meaning, I can’t wait to ‘borrow’ it from my girlfriend’s hair salon waiting area when picking her up.)

Welcome boobtastic sensation Daisy Watts to the Egotastic! family of fun and sexy celebrity games. And, thanks to Nuts magazine, and their Sex Edition, we should be seeing much more of the topless and hot Daisy Watts in the very near future. This is what we scientists like to call effin’ awesome news.

Oh, hot Victoria’s Secret Angel and Brazilian supermodel, how I lust to see you in bikini commercial photoshoots.

These Ana Beatriz Barros bikini pictures for Cia Maritima deliver epic hotness. If I were starting my own bikini line, I mean, actually making them rather than just swiping them from the changing rooms at the beach, I’d hire Ana Beatriz Barros to model my swimwear fashions. She’s smoking hot, her bikini body is impressive beyond words, really, just to the point of consistent drooling, and her boobs makes me want to construct a large scale hydro-electric power plant dam from scratch with my bare hands. Enjoy.