Brent: New iOS?

Look, I get it. “Don’t txt+drv.” I’ve seen the signs along the highway (their flashing lights are so distracting that I sometimes even look up from my Pokémon GO).

Here’s all I’m saying though: Why shouldn’t I be able to enjoy a nice TED talk about some guy who remixed a bunch of other TED talks?

Besides, driving is really downtime anyway. Do you really think that Eisenhower would’ve built all these highways if he thought that people would just sit silently in their cars watching the road carefully? Absolutely not. Eisenhower was a multitasker, a thinker, and a visionary, and I fancy myself his equal (look, I’m not saying Lincoln, I’m not saying FDR or Truman, just Eisenhower. I think we all can get around that).

And if we look at the proportion of people who are forced to take defensive driving classes (probably like 94%), then there is minimal damage done if I swerve into another lane while I’m sending my grandpa a gif of a cow drinking milk (hypocrisy): if the other guy took the class, then he’ll move out of the way; and if he didn’t, then fuck him, he should’ve taken the class.

Now every time I want to write a quick paper while I’m driving to the airport or surf the web for some rad new underwear while I’m on my way back from Chipotle (thinking ahead), I have to lie to my phone and say “No, I’m not driving,” which I think is really impacting our relationship negatively.