I have been writing this blog for many days. If you write, perhaps you have had days that turn to a week when you stare at a blank screen hoping the words will clearly emerge already composed in a worthy offering. Nothing, but a stretched deadline for posting was clear to me. Nothing.

Until this morning.

I woke with an imprecise fragment of a phrase often quoted by Martin Luther King, Jr. in the struggle for freedom and civil rights. My waking rendering was “hope crushed to earth shall rise again!” It played over and over until I had to type it onto the screen and find what would become composed.

In the uncertain days when disparaging and deadly words and actions marked the path toward freedom, King coupled this scrap of poetry with the assurance that the “arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Words of hope in the midst of despair.

I realize that in the chaos and cacophony that has beset The United Methodist Church since the General Conference there has been in me a nagging pall of grief. I am comforted in that grief by the groundswell of resistance and rejection of the punitive measures, exclusionary vision of divine grace and willingness to divide the denomination evidenced by so many letters and statements across the church over thousands of signatures. Cherished personal relationships across the church have been deepened and more vital; both new and old. We are not alone.

The grief, perhaps, came over me because I sense that the church that has baptized me, nurtured me, forgave me, ordained me, invited me to pastor and teach its seminarians had been willingly divided, diminished, co-opted and wounded unto death. Crushed to earth.

But, that institutional expression is not the actual church that has been a blessing, an accountable challenge and a re-assuring presence to me. The true church of blessing has distinguished itself from the agents of diminishment, degradation and division. The wounds will heal.

“Wake up and wash your face” the scripture says. Pay attention to the signs of the rising all around. Danger and death tend to help clarify what is most important and what is essential about the life we live. Wake up and pay attention to the connexion of pastors and laity who refuse to be undone in living out the grace-filled mission of transformation and love that is the ministry of God. Wake up and pay attention to the witness of those who have been on the target of “incompatibility” and their courageous leadership and witness through it all. Wake up and pay attention to the love and grace to which we have pledged ourselves that will not let us go.

Wake up and pay attention to the words spoken at our newcomer’s brunch yesterday. More than a dozen new folks gathered for a welcoming meal. When they were asked what drew them to First Church, it emerged that the strong mission and clear witness of our congregation was what they wanted to join! Wake up and pay attention that in the midst of grief hope will rise again! Pay attention.

I washed my face and went to check the reference. It was not fully accurate. King had quoted the early American poet, William Cullen Bryant. The exact words King quoted from Cullen were:

Truth, crushed to earth, shall rise again,

The eternal years of God are hers;

But Error, wounded, writhes in pain,

And dies among his worshippers.

Truth, hope, the divine calling to love and a vision of justice are gathered up and shall rise. Or, have been rising and one day will fully blossom.

William Cullen Bryant, it turns out, is a distant cousin. He shares ancestry dating to John Alden and Priscilla Mullins of the Mayflower. He attended Williams College in the Berkshires and a house named in his honor was not far from my first appointment at the Williamstown United Methodist Church.

What drew this all together for me is a bit of Bryant family lore. His aunt Charity was a seamstress in Vermont. Rachel Hope Cleve’s 2014 book Charity and Sylvia: a same-sex marriage in early America captured William Cullen Bryant’s description of their relationship:

"If I were permitted to draw the veil of private life, I would briefly give you the singular, and to me interesting, story of two maiden ladies who dwell in this valley. I would tell you how, in their youthful days, they took each other as companions for life, and how this union, no less sacred to them than the tie of marriage, has subsisted, in uninterrupted harmony, for more than forty years."

Charity and Sylvia Drake are buried together at Weybridge Hill Cemetery, Vermont.

]]>Remember Who You Are...http://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/remember-who-you-are/
http://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/remember-who-you-are/Wed, 27 Feb 2019 06:00:00 +0000“Remember who you are…”
I am now home from General Conference. The road to Madison from St. Louis seemed far longer than when I went the other way. I yearned to be home and surrounded by the people and ministry of First Church (and primarily, of...Rev. Dr. Mark A. Fowler“Remember who you are…”

I am now home from General Conference. The road to Madison from St. Louis seemed far longer than when I went the other way. I yearned to be home and surrounded by the people and ministry of First Church (and primarily, of course, Susan)!

In the coming days I will write more commentary and reflections on the 2019 General Conference, but today I wanted to communicate some simple messages.

--At 4:45 on Tuesday afternoon I sensed The United Methodist Church break and divide when the “Traditionalist Plan” was adopted. That plan hardened the prohibitions against LGBTQIA+ persons and those pastors, churches and Annual Conferences that sought to include them with all of God’s children in the full ministry of the church. The backers of the traditionalist plan were well organized and the campaign seemed to be out to harm, punish and divide. Although the plan adopted may not ultimately be sustained by the Judicial Council (if it is found to be unconstitutional), the spiritual harm has been done. Although the next steps are unclear due to the need for a finding of the Judicial Council, the spiritual division and rending of the church has taken place.

--Hundreds of us in the stadium stood and wept with the deepest and most profound grief that our denomination had done such damage to itself and to so many cherished LGBTQIA+ friends and family that may be irreparable. What was done was not an expression of The United Methodist Church I know and to which I have given my life and my ministry. I was heartbroken and filled with grief. Something most precious had died, more specifically, been put to death by callous calculation.

--Yet, those hundreds who stood and cried and sang out of the range of the live streamed broadcast were my church; they were our church. I had known them and worked with them and worshipped with them in a common ministry and commitment. One who was there had been in grade school Sunday School with me and we were taught by my grandmother. Others from across the globe had intersected to form the strong connections of ministry and common mission. We were friends in the faith. This was my church. These friends are our church!

--Following the close of the business of the General Conference there was no way to join in common worship. That bond had been intentionally broken. However, although we had experienced a profound loss, although we had been put on the traditionalist target and been removed from their understanding of the scope of God’s love, there is no containing the embrace of the Holy Spirit. In the midst of this death of something so very dear, there was a gathering over the waters of baptism. Although the hall had been locked down for fear of what might occur, there was the offering of a reminder of who we were in Christ through the waters of baptism. “Remember who you are…”

--As your pastor, I repudiate the majority actions of the General Conference and the narrow and toxic ideology that informed it. I embrace the mission and ministry of our congregation to express grace and hospitality to all people after the manner of Jesus. I dedicate myself to the transformation of the world in love and justice. I trust in the unlimited and expanding grace and love of God. As one of the duties of my office and the charges of my ordination, I dismissed the temptation to run from the challenges that lie ahead and simply retire and withdraw. I claim the authority as shepherd to defend the flock in their your and ministry together.

--Many colleagues and friends left the session knowing that the next day there would be a monster truck exhibition in the space we had occupied for four days. Truckloads of dirt would cover the floor where our business had been done. Perhaps it is appropriate. The dirt will metaphorically cover what has died and passed. I will weep in the darkening night of this moment. The tears come from the deepest deep. Then, I will be exhausted for some time.

--Yet, I trust in the resurrection of the third day. Our mission is an inheritance of the Jesus who modelled it. Our fellowship is a bond of love that is stronger than death. Our vision of justice and love is ever expanding, ever corrected, ever challenged and ever before us to live into because we struggle to seek it as the work of God in the world.

--Like Dr. King before me and countless others around me, I have chosen to love. Hate is too big a burden. I hope tonight that I can sing “Love Divine, All Love’s Excelling” without my voice breaking in grief. Join me in the bonds that gather us as a church in love and mission. Jesus thou art all compassion, pure, unbounded love thou art; visit us with thy salvation; enter every trembling heart… Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit into every troubled breast….changed from glory into glory, till in heaven we take our place, till we cast our crowns before thee, lost in wonder, love and praise.

With deepest gratitude,

Mark

]]>Notes From the Front: Last Dayhttp://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/notes-from-the-front-last-day/
http://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/notes-from-the-front-last-day/Tue, 26 Feb 2019 06:00:00 +0000Today is the last day of General Conference.
I have delayed going to the session to write and brace myself for what is before us. The events of these days have seen a 55-45% legislative victory for the Traditionalist Plan for the denomination moving...Rev. Dr. Mark A. FowlerToday is the last day of General Conference.

I have delayed going to the session to write and brace myself for what is before us. The events of these days have seen a 55-45% legislative victory for the Traditionalist Plan for the denomination moving forward.

What that actually means is a plan of schism in that those of us who are committed to full inclusion of all people, most specifically LGBTQI folks, will have no place in this church moving forward.

I am heartbroken. I have wept. I am in profound grief. I am not alone!

Those who have gathered here with whom I have shared life and ministry since I was a child are here and we grieve together.

Those who have known the saints that led us in these paths of justice and inclusive ministry are here and we grieve together.

Those who sing about God's great, expansive and inclusive love are here and we grieve and begin to heal together.

Those who will watch in horror today as the legislative process will attempt and may succeed in dismantling and dividing this denomination are here and are determined.

We may leave St. Louis. We may have to leave the new manifestation of our beloved church that is being horrifically crafted here. But, I know that we will not leave each other and we will not abandon our ministries and our mission of God's inclusive love and justice as we have found it with each other in the lives we have lived together and the ministries we have shared. There will be a future connection and ministry in whose integrity we were called, raised, formed and live.

I trust in the scripture that promises this grief and sadness and mourning shall last for an evening. I have not slept well in St. Louis. But, joy comes in the morning.

I pray for the morning as I leave here later today and return to Madison. There, I look forward to joining with the congregation of First Church and moving into the future that God has set before us.

All means all.

Blessings beloved,Mark

]]>Sunday, February 24: Notes from the Fronthttp://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/sunday-february-24-notes-from-the-front/
http://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/sunday-february-24-notes-from-the-front/Sun, 24 Feb 2019 06:00:00 +0000I am sitting in section 122 surrounded by students of the class, members of Sacred Worth and Love Prevails, colleagues and friends from Wisconsin, Northern Illinois and New England. It is a great cloud of witnesses to an inclusive and justice focused...Rev. Dr. Mark A. FowlerI am sitting in section 122 surrounded by students of the class, members of Sacred Worth and Love Prevails, colleagues and friends from Wisconsin, Northern Illinois and New England. It is a great cloud of witnesses to an inclusive and justice focused church of God’s abundant love.

Yet, yesterday’s day of prayer in preparation for these days went on for hours without a single reference to the focus of this General Conference. It was not until LGBTQ delegates intercede with the bishops that specific prayers were offered. The silence and inability to name why we are here was more harming within the hall than the vile rhetoric from the Westboro Baptist Church outside the hall.

In addressing the several hundred seminarians that are here there was a clear acknowledgment by the bishops that our UMC will be changed by this General Conference. The pleading is for unity. The pleading is for the broader mission of the church throughout the world. However, the pleading seems filled with a fear that seems unable to directly address what is at issue here.

However, there was a word in the sermon this morning that embraced us all (and by that I understand all means all) are made in the image and love of God.

So, having prayed and worshipped, the legislation begins. I remain aware and grateful for your prayers. The light of our church’s witness kindles here.

With deep gratitude,

Mark

]]>"I Know You Go Before Me..."http://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/i-know-you-go-before-me/
http://firstunitedmethodistmadison.org/general-conference-2019-notes-from-the-front/i-know-you-go-before-me/Fri, 22 Feb 2019 06:00:00 +0000Friday morning, February 22, 2019
“I know you go before me…”
I am grateful for the sunshine today. The weather will not be a distraction from a journey toward the unknown future of The United Methodist Church. Five hours ahead is St. Louis and the...Rev. Dr. Mark A. FowlerFriday morning, February 22, 2019

“I know you go before me…”

I am grateful for the sunshine today. The weather will not be a distraction from a journey toward the unknown future of The United Methodist Church. Five hours ahead is St. Louis and the global gathering of delegates, bishops, General Secretaries and staffs of the general agencies of the church and thousands of others who have an interest in the future of our denomination. My role is as it has been in General Conferences past. Seminary students will gather with their professors along with deans and presidents to immerse themselves in the decisions about the future of the church that they have been called to serve. Daily briefings and de-briefings with luminaries of the church will convene in the early morning and the late evening to process the events of the day and prepare for the agenda that remains.

There is an air of foreboding and grief that pervades the conversations and prognostications surrounding this General Conference. Although the Council of Bishops was tasked to find a “Way Forward” for our denomination that focuses on navigating the question of full inclusion of LGBTQA+ persons in the full life and ministry of the church, the path seems murky at best and impossible broken in the most skeptical view of the reality that paves a difficult way to St. Louis.

Yesterday I took some time in deep prayer to prepare. Joyful memories of “going to conference” came to my mind. Although it was not the global gathering of General Conference, the annual event of going to conference stretches back into my childhood as far as I can remember. My dad and uncle were pastors, my grandparents were lay leaders in the Annual Conference and we knew many people that would attend these gatherings. The grand celebrations of worship, especially ordination and the memorial communion service became as important to me as Christmas and Easter. They marked the great mission and faith of the church. And, then there were the countless mission projects, schools, universities, seminaries, hospitals and the vast ministry of the church beyond my own little life and experience that I eventually embraced as the spiritual center of Conference. “And are we yet alive to see each other’s face! Glory and thanks to Jesus give for his almighty grace!” (UMH, #553)

I look forward to being with many friends and colleagues in faith that I will see in St. Louis. General Conference has been a joyous reunion, despite the difficult issues that have been part of the gathering. There has always been a sense of our common mission and ministry and the deep bonds of love divine and the inclusive ministry of the church. I pray for some of that this time. One friend observed that this Conference may feel more like a funeral. Maybe so. But, even so, we are a resurrection people. That Easter morning began with both the fear of death and the frightening possibility of resurrected life, something altogether new.

This United Methodist Church has guided, challenged, frustrated, abandoned, embraced, led me and sometimes lagged behind along the road it indicated I should take and prepared me for that journey. I know that the road has led me to stand on a rock of faith that the ministry and mission of Jesus is an inclusive one with an ever expanding understanding of the power of love and the invitation to a place at the table. I cannot conceive of a United Methodism that teaches a limitation on the invitation and embrace of the grace of God to “everyone born.”

Psalm 139: 1-18 has led me in these last hours. I invite you to pray it with me as

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.3 You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.4 Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely.5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.9 If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast.11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,”12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.

13 For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.17 How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!18 I try to count them—they are more than the sand; I come to the end[a]—I am still with you.