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46 Responses to "How To Deal With Shitting Your Pants: A Powerpoint Presentation"

I was worried about Holy Taco after that Transformers/Shia Le Beouf atrocity, but I have to say that you guys have definitely returned to your prior greatness. No more Transformers nonsense, though, or else!

Bravo! Bravo! Whoever is responsible for this bit o’ comedic genius should be very very proud. Found this about 8 minutes after burning, laughed my motherfucking ass off, could hardly breathe. Well fucking done.

My friend Karl has shat himself several tie – this is very valuable information for him – nowhere on there did I see reference to removal of underpants and top shelfing them in the toilet tank – a very useful means of disposal for scenario #1

My dad had been suffering from hair loss and only recently he started to see a huge difference with his hair (lots of fine hair growing out especially at the temple area) after trying out the various natural techniques taught to grow hair for 1 week at this website http://www.regrowmyhair.info

I must say its a very informative, effective and easy to follow step-by-step guide. I highly recommend it to anyone who is suffering from hair loss.

And i assure you that you won’t find this natural hair growing techniques on the internet.

Minoxidil : Cause a fall in blood pressure, an increase in the heart rate, and weight gain (fluid retention)

Propecia : May cause birth defects in male baby’s sex organs if taken by women. Also, potentially irreversible side effects occurring in the group of people taking the drug are erectile dysfunction, ejaculation disorder (decreased volume of ejaculate) and low libido.

I constantly crap myself but I let my dog lick the shit off my testicles for added fun. It is much better than the peanut butter trick and I have endless amounts of doo-doo. I once pooped blue after eating Superman ice cream.

So, I was at work in the newsroom in Los Angeles, talking on the phone with an associate on the East Coast. I had a violent sneeze for which I apologized. In the next few seconds I realized something had gone terribly wrong. I exclaimed, “I gotta go!” when, apparently, I already had. And it wasn’t just a small leakage of the rectal cavity it was a full-blown explosion the covered not just the crack, but my ass cheeks, as well. When I arose from my Herman Miller chair, I realized that my underpants were soaked and it was leaking down my legs, infusing my Levi’s 501′s. I made it to the bathroom as fast as I could to rip off the clothing. It took nearly a roll of toilet paper to clean-up the initial damage. The underwear were a total loss and were stashed at the bottom of the bathroom garbage. Then using some paper towels and water, I cleaned the 501′s the best I could. I re-dressed, sans underwear, and headed for home calling my friend to explain what happened. He was laughing so hard he almost shit himself! When I arrived at home I realized the shit had had also tainted T-Shirt. I took off the close and hosed them down in the alley, before putting them in the washing machine. I threw myself in the shower and was back at work before anyone knew I was gone. Give new meaning to the phrase, “Same Shit, different day!”

Maybe you should just jack off your daddy and rub it on his head! Won’t help him grow back his hair but maybe it’ll embarrass a dumb cunt like you from polluting websites with your irrelevant cranial excrement. fuck your mother!! okay sweetheart?

dang id love to shit ties. or maybe a good watch. anything that wouldn’t hurt on the way out but i could then use would be great. let me know how he does it or if its some kind of hereditary thing. thanks!

The corn in poo is an attractant to deer, wild hogs, and some fat chicks. I find this to be another plus when accidents happen and I make poopy in my panties. A word of caution – when wearing man-G’s or man-T’s the containment is severely limited so make sure you tight roll your pants or you could waste some fat chick attractant.

Being a person experienced in this topic ( mainly due to vast consumption of cheap beer and Mexican food ) I feel I have to make a small correction to this topic.

The first step in this is to hide your facial expression. The facial expression that goes along with shitting yourself is very noticeable, regardless of how you were feeling or looking before hand you face quick changes to an expression that looks like someone placed Lassie or your favorite house pet into a turkey fryer.

This can be easily avoided by quickly jabbing yourself in the testicles our stomping on your own foot has hard as possible, stomping on your foot can be tricky tho because lifting your foot to high can cause unwanted run off so choose your method wisely.

I had a little too much beer to drink, one afternoon, on an empty stomach … well, of course, that caused me to have beer-induced hershey squirts.

Well, as luck would have it, just as I was running to the bathroom, the phone rang and I went to answer it, because it was important and I figured I could hold it long enough to tell this person I will call them right back …

… but then I coughed.

I had no underwear on, and it was the middle of summer, luckily I was just 10 feet from the bathroom, but still, I coughed, shit poured down my leg and everywhere … I got shit everywhere in the bathroom, shit on the floor, on the walls, on the toilet, in the shower … it was so disgusting, I had to bathe much, and then dispose of clothing and then clean the entire bathroom… I think I even some how got shit on the ceiling.

one evening I was out with a budy watching a game and eating loads of pastacios nuts and drinking cheap beer. whem the game was over, my friend decided to go home but I wanted to continue my outing until I was driving down the road to the next spot. My stomach started to quiver. I realized at that point I wouldnt be going any ware else but home. Hopeing that I would be able to hold it back until I reached home. I soon realized that it was imposible, And I let it rip! By the time I reached home, The burgandy cloth seat in my truck had a new brown tint to it. finally down in the luandry room were I proceeded to de-cloth and clean up when I was interupted by my curious mother wanting to know what I was doing in the luandry room a 1:00 AM. Finally got rid of mom cleaned up and went to bed. The next day delt with trying to get the smell and brown tint out of my front seat.

It would be shorter if you would just change all the “he’s” to “I” like it should read you lying sack of shit-dust.I bet your “friend” also has a girlfriend who is a model who lives in Canada that nobody has ever met…you suck.kill yourself…slowly.

coming from a seasoned shart’er,you must always carry a pocketknife. if you shart,you can cut the drawers off-and leave them wherever you are w/o having to take your pants off.the brilliance comes in leaving them where they can be found-but NOT until you have left in a timely manner from the latrine.

Thanks I shat my pants a few years ago cause the drunk girl driving the car wouldn’t stop until we were at the club on the beach when I finally found a bathroom it was too late right at the entrance of the restroom it came out luckily I was on the beach and washed my pants threw the underwear away and jumped into the ocean unfortunately the drunk girl had a huge mouth and told everyone at work and I became a walking joke and this one person who really didnt like me sent mass emails to everyone in her college years later and only one witness…Karma.

4/7 “Blame the nearest fat person.” As a fat person I just want to say fuck you! I don’t smell like shit. I bathe daily like any non-gross person would do. To everyone who thinks that it’s funny-I hope you shit yourself.

thank goodness…i just shat my pants, was running around frantically, unsure what to do. with no real options and not really wanting to leave my desk, i decided to come to holytaco to see who ended up winning the dbag tourney. and there it was, like a sign from up above. thank you taco for making a ridiculously awkward situation just really really awkward!

I once sharted on the subway. I had to get off and go to the nearest McDonald’s and wait in line with a bunch of homeless who were also there to clean shit off themselves. While waiting, I overheard a great story about a pimp from the 70′s, and how he came to an unfortunate end in the back room of a now defunct pool hall.

The moral of the story is that sometimes shitting your pants can end up enriching your life.