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Re: Facebook Slut

I'm confused! I once had a beagle, and he never let my presence stop him from perpetrating a sexual act on human females - They had to push him away. Likewise, I never let his presence stop me either. I mean, it's not like your mom or dad is watching unless you believe in reincarnation.

Seriously what would your dogs have done?

I still think that my dog, Buster, got away with 10 times more than I ever could. Just by sniffing the air, he could tell when a girl was menstruating. She could be sitting on the couch, and he'd bury his nose in her crotch, snorting up a ruckus without even knowing her. If I tried that, then I'd be a registered sex offender for sure. Then there was the humping, always fun to watch.

Re: Facebook Slut

RobertRobert wrote:

I'm confused! I once had a beagle, and he never let my presence stop him from perpetrating a sexual act on human females - They had to push him away. Likewise, I never let his presence stop me either. I mean, it's not like your mom or dad is watching unless you believe in reincarnation.

Seriously what would your dogs have done?

I still think that my dog, Buster, got away with 10 times more than I ever could. Just by sniffing the air, he could tell when a girl was menstruating. She could be sitting on the couch, and he'd bury his nose in her crotch, snorting up a ruckus without even knowing her. If I tried that, then I'd be a registered sex offender for sure. Then there was the humping, always fun to watch.

I never had kids (That I know of) so my dogs are like my kids. That would just be too freaky to pull out my dick and start putting on a show both in front of them and a strange woman. Not in this lifetime.

Re: Facebook Slut

Anyways crazy leaves. I'm up half the night totally blue balled to Hell. Pissed as all get out. Then EARLY in the AM she is at my door. FUCK! Just go away you crazy bitch!

Well I didn't want a big scene and I was groggy so I staggered to the door. She says some kind of female gibberish and I figure whatever. I let her in and she follows me back to my bed where I collapse. She's messing about next to the entryway for a while. I've gotten used to this as she never seems able to focus on a single fucking thing.

She plops down next to me and starts with the female talk again. I seriously don't even remember what she's said as I've gotten used to not listening to a damn thing a woman says when she's acting like a woman. Plus I was hungover as fuck.

Well her incessant chatter is starting to wake me up some. I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When I come back I realize when she was fucking around by the door she was taking her pants off. She is laying on my bed wearing a thong and a tiny fuck me top.

Fuck this shit. I've had about enough and tell her so. Basically the ol put out or get out. More chatter. I grab her hair and pull it hard while biting the back of her neck. Hey it works for lions, ducks and rabbits. Then I stick my hand under her shirt and grab her tit hard. This is not going to be a romantic thing. Maybe that's why chicks do the blue balls thing just to get you amped up to give a hard fuck.

Long story short, clothes come off, vaginal fluids start to flow, hands fingers. She's spouting some sort of horse shit about not using condoms. Yeah sure. Whatever. Maybe monkeys will fly out my ass too. When I get my dick in her mouth I start really giving it to her. Pretty much trying to make her gag. As if it couldn't get any crazier she acts like this gave her an orgasm. I'll probably never know as we all know chicks can fake a lot of shit.

After a bunch of rude foreplay like this she's finally like fuck it get a condom. Don't have to ask me twice. I get it on and she is STILL trying the little game thing. I try to put it in and she moves away as if she's a fucking nun or something and has never had a dick in her. I don't know if I mentioned but this is a very, very tiny girl. She could probably pass for a teenager even though she's had a kid. She's not much of a match for me so I just grab her hips hard and shove it in rude and hard. Sure enough she starts to go lassy on me so I shove her head in a pillow to shut her up and she bites down hard. For having a kid she sure has a pretty tight pussy. But when her wet cunt starts to clamp down I know that's no act. I'm trying to bottom out but apparently the well is too deep. Strange as I really have never met a woman I couldn't bottom out on doggy style.

Her pussy starts to clamp down like a vice and she's obviously having a pretty major orgasm. And I do as well. Total insertion time couldn't have been more than two minutes. Probably a record for me.

I collapse on top of her and just to make sure it stays weird she immediately stands up and starts getting dressed. Not the cuddling type apparently.

She does hang around for a bit though. We go outside and smoke some weed and tobacco. She swears this was a one time thing. Which I'd be ok with. She's plenty weird and I know I was playing with fire fucking a girl that is both crazy and has a boyfriend.

And when I checked her status again it was changed from dating to engaged. Oh fuck me.

Re: Facebook Slut

aktitman wrote:

...I never had kids (That I know of) so my dogs are like my kids. That would just be too freaky to pull out my dick and start putting on a show both in front of them and a strange woman. Not in this lifetime.

Your dogs don't think like you do and couldn't care less. If you could get into the heads of your dogs, then you'd know that you have nothing to worry about. Having had dogs and cats, I've fucked and jacked off in front of both. No big deal, by their apparent obliviousness, I may as well have been reading a book or watching television.

Now had I been eating a porterhouse steak, I'd have had their full undivided attention.

Re: Facebook Slut

Anyways apparently she isn't going away. She calls me every other day or so just to say what's up. She swears this was jut a one time deal but she wants to hang out and friend zone or some horseshit. And she wants to do an apprentice type thing with me. If it was an apprenticeship where I taught her how to properly suck cock I'd be ok with it.

Once you fuck a woman its never the same. I really need an exit strategy now.

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