communication

Maybe you read on Facebook that Dollar General Stores were celebrating their anniversary by giving out $150 shopping coupons to those who liked and shared their posts, or maybe you received an email seeking applicants as paid mystery shoppers in your area. Maybe you heard that theaters used subliminal advertising to increase sales of popcorn and soft drinks, or saw a “send old shoes, get a new one free” promotion that caught your attention. Or maybe you read about the discovery that disease can be cured by drinking four glasses of water every morning.

The fact that these are all false didn’t stop thousands of people from forwarding, liking, retweeting, repeating, or believing them. One even made it into the top 50 “hottest urban legends” on snopes.com.

Likewise, the fact that office grapevines are filled with false information, speculation, innuendo, and gossip doesn’t stop people from using rumor to fuel distrust, reinforce silo building, or enhance “us” versus “them” thinking, either. This workplace ladder fuel can devastate motivation and destroy work cultures as quickly as nature’s fuel of underbrush, branches, leaves, and vegetation can cause a ground fire to scale trees and devour forests.

A few years ago a forest fire came within a half-mile of our remote cabin, engulfing (continue reading →)

I still have the email. It’s been years since a highly placed corporate boss, who had the reputation and approach that things were never quite good enough, sent it to me. He was long on critique and revisions; short on acknowledgement and appreciation.

Anyone else reading his message would deem it ordinary. No flowery words, no glowing adjectives, no verbose flattery or deliberate feel-good rhetoric. It was written in a matter-of-fact, straight-to-the-point style that took three sentences.

Yet its mark was indelible. Not because his appreciation was infrequent, but because it was genuine. While it was an out of the ordinary contribution he acknowledged, the message didn’t come in a signature-pen form letter “from” him via HR, nor was it composed and sent by an executive assistant. It came from him. He took the time to notice, comment, and engage. That simple email reconfirmed my commitment and spurred my enthusiasm.

It doesn’t take much to let someone know they’re valued. So why it is that so few people take the time to do it?

The subject line of the email read: “We met at …” and the name of a conference where I’d recently spoken. Thinking it was from someone who attended my session, I opened it sooner versus later. “I never heard back from you,” she wrote, “I wanted to take you to lunch or drop by your office to explain my product more.”

Since I live and work 2,000 miles from her, I knew she’d confused me with someone, or that we’d never met. I answered that I didn’t receive her first email letting her know, “I don’t remember us meeting. But, just to let you know this is not anything of interest to me or my company. Plus, I’m located in Montana.”

She emailed back with information about a Texas only service, informing me, “We met at the booth. No worries at all though.”

That trade show vendor did what many people do — they tell convenient mistruths. I know I didn’t meet her at that conference trade show because (continue reading →)

On our first morning of vacation, we were pleased to find open tables when we arrived for breakfast at a popular and highly recommended café. With several people actively filling walk-up specialty coffee orders at the counter, it took several minutes to be acknowledged: “It’ll be about five minutes for a table since the waitress needs to catch up,” a person finally called out in our direction.

Fifteen minutes later we were seated; in another hour our order arrived. What we’d planned as a quick breakfast before heading out to explore the city and its museums turned into a morning event. Our “quick breakfast” took 109 minutes, during which time we were never offered a beverage refill or given a courtesy acknowledgement about why the delays to order, receive food, get the check, and pay the bill.

Since breakfast is commonly a more speedily served and eaten meal, the slowness and customer-abandonment in this highly rated café was at first a surprise and then an annoyance. When the waitress finally brought our check, she (continue reading →)

A three hour delayed connecting flight in Minneapolis created headaches for me and other business travelers seeking to still reach their destinations that day. All seats in the narrow gate area were filled and briefcases, roller-boards, and more passengers occupied available floor space. Every half hour the gate agent updated us on the status of a part being flown in to fix a rather minor, but important, mechanical issue on our plane heading to Boston.

It’s not that the conversations I overhead that evening were different from ones I typically hear while traveling. But, I heard them differently. Perhaps it was the close proximity or general exhaustion, combined with the long wait, that heightened the impact of things said; perhaps it was the speakers’ exceptional level of obliviousness to the impact of their very public conversations.

Dozens of stranded passengers couldn’t help hearing details from one loud talker about specific company clients (by name), and problems (continue reading →)

They’re only words. Some believe the school-yard taunt: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” They’re wrong. Words can hurt you in the workplace.

I’m not referring to the caustic ones spoken (or received) tainted with sarcasm, irritation, anger or frustration, carrying an emotional punch. I’m talking about simple, everyday, normal word choices. These words, like black ice, are not an obvious danger at first glance. But, they can impact your results. So, user-beware.

I’m a colleague of Nan’s. She is now writing Part 3 of her new book, Trust, Inc.: How to Create a Business Culture that Will Ignite Passion, Engagement, and Innovation; so I offered to write a blog post.

I subscribe to a few online daily quotation services. I read them most mornings before beginning my day. These words often provide inspiration or a new way of thinking. Here is one that arrived in my inbox yesterday by American businessman and author Max De Pree, “Leadership is more tribal than scientific, more a weaving of relationships than an amassing of information.”

Unfortunately, in many workplaces today it is the opposite, leaders believe hoarding information is power and with that power brings authority and followership. Really? Have they looked recently at successful workplaces today?

So, what does it mean to be tribal? According to speaker and author of Tribes, Seth Godin, “A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader and connected to an idea.” OK, makes sense.

Now, what about the “weaving of relationships?” How do titleless leaders build good working relationships? Here are a few ways to spark your thinking?

Operate with Trust – Trust begins with self-trust, pay attention to yourself and to your intentions, and give trust first. What does your trust barometer say?