sigdiamond2000:kid_icarus: If I were him, I would never eat at that restaurant again for the rest of my natural life.

/unless you like your steak served to you after being rubbed on the bathroom floor and seasoned with pubes

I sometimes wonder if people who pull sh*t like this realize the amount of saliva, snot, and semen they've unwittingly ingested in their lives.

They don't. I have a friend (more my wife's friend actually) and an in-law I refuse to eat out with because they *always* biatch about something at the restaurant. I've tried to tell them (and others who act this way) that they need to be polite to the waiter/waitress because 1) you don't really need to act like a douche all the time and 2) they will fark with your food. The response is always, "they better not mess with my food!" Stupid.

That's the type of thing I'd do as a 13-year old skateboard-toting stoner who wanted a milkshake from Friendly's but only had the exact change in his pocket, so hey, why not "fight the system" while you're at it and have a laugh?

That anyone over the age of 13 and not stoned off their ass would do this intentionally is mind boggling.

/also, I've never done anything like that//worst case was ordering only waters and getting a bill for $0.00///we still left a tip

JFarker131:This, a thousand times. I've waited tables, worked in coffee shops, been a bartender. Leave a crappy tip, I will fark with your food, or have someone more disgusting than me do it so I don't have to.

/talked a coworker into ejaculating into a truly awful local politician's alfredo sauce, he complimented the owner after his meal on the new recipe they were using.//ew.

Well, that sounds felonious. But at least you can sleep better at night knowing you are the better person.

As an aside...Mr. Douchebag's note claimed that he had to cut back on "discretionary spending", which to most normal people would include eating out; particularly at a sit-down restaurant that will involve tipping. If you're too broke to leave a tip, you're too broke to be at the restaurant in the first place.

Subtext: "I am a coward and a failure at everything I've ever tried. I have elaborate revenge fantasies about the abuse I take at my menial job from superiors and co-workers alike. My wife utterly controls my life and does not allow me to control any aspect of my life. My children mock and belittle me. This note is my sad and desperate attempt to pretend I am something within a time zone of being a man, even if just for a few seconds. Even though you are a service worker and most likely a disinterested teenager I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

TIPS means To Insure Prompt Service. It comes from an Old English term from around 800. That's why I don't tip unless I receive exceptional service. If you want to make real money then you need to work out an arrangement with your boss. Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own. You know, in Europe where I go very often for business, they don't have any tips and the service is outstanding.

Mr. Coffee Nerves:Subtext: "I am a coward and a failure at everything I've ever tried. I have elaborate revenge fantasies about the abuse I take at my menial job from superiors and co-workers alike. My wife utterly controls my life and does not allow me to control any aspect of my life. My children mock and belittle me. This note is my sad and desperate attempt to pretend I am something within a time zone of being a man, even if just for a few seconds. Even though you are a service worker and most likely a disinterested teenager I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

Mr. Coffee Nerves:Subtext: "I am a coward and a failure at everything I've ever tried. I have elaborate revenge fantasies about the abuse I take at my menial job from superiors and co-workers alike. My wife utterly controls my life and does not allow me to control any aspect of my life. My children mock and belittle me. This note is my sad and desperate attempt to pretend I am something within a time zone of being a man, even if just for a few seconds. Even though you are a service worker and most likely a disinterested teenager I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

Rapmaster2000:TIPS means To Insure Prompt Service. It comes from an Old English term from around 800. That's why I don't tip unless I receive exceptional service. If you want to make real money then you need to work out an arrangement with your boss. Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own. You know, in Europe where I go very often for business, they don't have any tips and the service is outstanding.

Trivia Jockey:Rapmaster2000: TIPS means To Insure Prompt Service. It comes from an Old English term from around 800. That's why I don't tip unless I receive exceptional service. If you want to make real money then you need to work out an arrangement with your boss. Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own. You know, in Europe where I go very often for business, they don't have any tips and the service is outstanding.

Mr. Coffee Nerves:Subtext: "I am a coward and a failure at everything I've ever tried. I have elaborate revenge fantasies about the abuse I take at my menial job from superiors and co-workers alike. My wife utterly controls my life and does not allow me to control any aspect of my life. My children mock and belittle me. This note is my sad and desperate attempt to pretend I am something within a time zone of being a man, even if just for a few seconds. Even though you are a service worker and most likely a disinterested teenager I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

kid_icarus:As an aside...Mr. Douchebag's note claimed that he had to cut back on "discretionary spending", which to most normal people would include eating out; particularly at a sit-down restaurant that will involve tipping. If you're too broke to leave a tip, you're too broke to be at the restaurant in the first place.

Its easier to be a cock to those below you (or at least, those you perceive as "below you") than it is to actually try and do some work on your own, like campaigning and getting people organized to change laws that you don't like. Some people also just want to see the world burn, so there is that...

Rapmaster2000:TIPS means To Insure Prompt Service. It comes from an Old English term from around 800. That's why I don't tip unless I receive exceptional service. If you want to make real money then you need to work out an arrangement with your boss. Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own. You know, in Europe where I go very often for business, they don't have any tips and the service is outstanding.

Here is the thing. Acceptable tips range from 15%-20% here in the US. 20% is really the new norm. If you step back and think about it, simply adding 20% to all prices is not how it is going to work. (I have no links for this, but if you search you can find it, economists have studies this)...in reality, your meal would actually be somewhere closer to 40% higher because of payroll taxes, social security, all kinds of stuff.

Here is the other thing. Yes, in very simple restaurants, it is a easy as bringing a soda and food to a table. But that is the exception to the rule.

Generally, guests are EXTREMELY demanding. Let me ask you something - has your waiter ever come back to your table, and ask how everything is and if he can get you something and you say "everything is great, I am all set..." Then not even 30 seconds later, you ask for an additional side of ranch? The waiter gets your ranch and then you ask for a side of ketchup...that in the industry is what is known as "running you around" (you being the waiter). Common courtesy would dictate that you would have asked for your ranch and ketchup the very first time. Now, why am I going through this? Because as a waiter, you develop and adapt to your tables as best as you can, you have a rhythm that you keep, and when someone piece meals their requests it gets VERY frustrating and it actually effects the service of other tables. Ever been sitting there wondering why your Coke is taking so damn long to get to your table? It is likely because of another guest/table, not a bad waiter.

It takes a pretty well honed set of skills to deal with the general public, especially around food and keep a smile.

Spitting, peeing, cumming, etc into peoples food does happen, but it is VERY rare. I would argue that it is a fallacy perpetuated by Hollywood and folklore more than anything else...seasoned professionals do not do that, especially in nicer restaurants. What will likely happen if you give a bad tip for no reason other than you disagreeing with the "American Style Tipping System" is that you are going to get mediocre and likely rushed service (I want to turn your shiatty tipping ass out of here ASAP so I can make some real money). It is simply not worth my time as a waiter to invest being nice, staying on top of your meal progress, refilling your water/drinks, etc. because no matter how great I perform, I know it is for nothing. If you are regularly stiffing the staff at the places you frequent, it is likely you are well known as a bad tipper, and the waiter's service to your table reflects that.