Lindsay Lohan May or May Not Have Hit Someone with Her Car While Possibly But Not for Sure Drunk

See, this is what I find so frustrating about Lindsay Lohan: everything. Ha ha, but really, it’s just so irritating to me that she’s such a trainwreck that basically anyone in the same vicinity as her could make up any story about her and it’s automatically believable. Like, if I was in New York right now and I noticed that the lady I just accidentally brushed shoulders with is Lindsay Lohan, I could go to the hospital and tell everyone that she violently shoved me and broke my arm, and it would probably make the news. But on the other hand, she’s such a trainwreck that she could actually be doing everything that everyone always accuses her of and just denying it. Do you see what I mean? It’s like the boy who cried wolf, except the boy sees wolves because he’s too high and sometimes he’s the wolf himself and runs people over with his car. Am I making any sense at all?

Basically, there’s this surveillance video that shows what happened, and apparently the guy who’s saying that Lindsay hit him is exaggerating everything. In the video, Lindsay’s driving really, really slow, and you can see her get very close to the guy, but it’s not clear whether or not she physically hit him. After Lindsay passed him, he chased after her, but he didn’t confront her. The tape also shows Lindsay getting out of her car to enter a club, looking totally chill, so she might not have realized that she hit the guy (if she actually did hit him).

Also, after Lindsay went inside the club, she stayed for just a few minutes, then left for a little bit, then came back. So, you know, weird.

Since the video was sort of inconclusive, it’s time for a good ol’ round of “he said, she said.” Lindsay’s saying that she didn’t even know she’d hit anyone until she got arrested, and that certainly no one got out of her car to check it for damages. Meanwhile, the guy is saying that Lindsay “smelled like alcohol real bad” (police never tested Lindsay) and that after he got hit, “I was in so much pain … I fell to the side.” He claims he was taken to the hospital where doctors gave him morphine for torn tendons.

I don’t know you guys, I’m just sort of pissed that this even has to be a debate. What happened to the good old days when you could just hit someone with your car, get arrested, and then be prosecuted and placed in jail? Why do we have to have all these lies and exaggerations? Why can’t people just tell the truth ever?

Lies and exaggerations, it’s Lindsay Lohan we’re dealing with here and it’s so hard to know what is true and not true with this piece of work. She brings out the bad in people. Nothing will happen to her but oh the drama we will have to hear for the next week. Who’s the stupid guy who let her drive his car, hope it was worth all the hassle you’re in for with this psychopath.

I am over TMZ, for their coverage of LL alone. Dina has Harvey on speed-dial, er, drunk dial. I imagine their next story will be about how this dude tore his own tendons in an effort to defraud Linds. You know what I’d be most pissed about if I got hit by her? A) she’s totally broke, so I’d be saddled with hospital bills & B) nothing would happen to her cause she’s just so damn slippery.