Healing Arts Report

Practices for an Evolving Life

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They Don't Tell You How

“You need to love yourself more.” “You shouldn’t feel that way.” “Always put other people first. Don’t be selfish.” The one thing that is missing from all this good advice is telling you HOW to do it. We introduce you to practical tools using your own character traits to support you in creating practical answers to those questions. Read more here.

Books

Two memoirs tell about times of extreme personal growth in the author’s life. Sunny Side Up is a window into the early 70s when certain young adults were searching for a way to head off society’s path bent on materialism. The Transparent Feather tells of a dying author passing the torch of writing to her new friend cum student.

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EFT Story – Breaking Up With Long Time Boyfriend

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a method for lessening the residue of emotional intensity from a disturbing event in a person’s life. It happens to be a technique that resonates so well with me that I use it often for clients as well as for myself. There are many energy-based techniques that work well. We are fortunate to live in an age where we have access to learning so many of them.

Sherri came to her appointment unable to stop crying since she broke up with her boyfriend several days before this meeting. She explained her current situation. She was so upset she felt physically ill, wondering if she needed to be hospitalized. “I had it with him. He was always inconsiderate. The relationship was never as meaningful to him as to me. And even though I know it was never healthy, I can’t stop crying. ”

I told her I have a technique that could help her feel less intensity. Would she be interested in it? She was. I explained that all she had to do was copy me as we tapped on points along the acupuncture meridians.

I asked Sherri to continue telling her story and at the same time tap on her face and chest the way I was showing her. She continued describing the details, one idea tumbling over another. When she began speaking a little more slowly, I could see the tension melting away.

As she became calm enough to breathe between sentences I introduced the concept of taking the SUDS level. SUDS refers to Subjective Units of Distress. It is a subjective measure on a scale of 0 to 10 to describe the intensity of her feelings. She was more than a 10, her way of indicating she felt over the top.

I asked her, as I ask anyone I’m teaching, to follow me in tapping and in repeating the words, and to correct me if I’m not using words that are true for her. I try to be accurate, using the same words the client uses to describe the situation. I fed back everything she had said about his behaviors and her feelings about them.

She often repeated my phrases with additional emphasis of her own. Her expression lightened up as she increasingly felt relief from making these truthful statements without our having to engage in discussion. At some point I added a positive statement indicating that she was ready for a change in her life. “Yes!” she almost shouted. “I AM ready for a change.” We continued tapping as she reiterated what the problem had been and explored just how ready she was for a different life.

By the time the hour was over, she was laughing and full of anticipation. At her next appointment she made it clear that the acceptance and insights she gained were permanent. She described several incidents relating to the situation which could have been very distressing but which were not because of the change in her.

I’ve often been impressed at how quickly this technique heals emotional wounds that would ordinarily take much longer. Have you had any experiences with EFT or with another technique that helped you make as big a change in so short a time? Please share it here.

Discussion

One Response to “EFT Story – Breaking Up With Long Time Boyfriend”

I recently corresponded with a friend, Crystal Hawk, in Toronto who told me she works at Gilda’s Club. I hadn’t heard of it but apparently there’s many of them in different cities, named for Gilda Radner, as a support for those who are living with cancer. She teaches EFT and says that the participants are also learning visualization techniques. The club has a mission to provide emotional and social support at no charge.