Just my little spot in the world to blog about random uneventful things in my life...that I find amusing and interesting enough to get off my chest and blog about...with having 5 kids....there should be a ton to blog about right?!?

and it got me going on the defensive......LOL who me? on the defensive!?!?! unheard of right!! Well, because I have 5 kids, I have often been told that I am over populating the earth, and contributing to its downfall....and that my kids could not possibly feel loved by me and my dh because there are so many of them....

I have to literally Laugh My Ass Off because, nothing could be further from the truth!! sure we have a large family of 7, and at time it can get hard...but you know what we make it thru all the rough times and we are stronger for it!! In this economy right now, I am sure there are a lot of you out there that are struggling financially with just one or two kids to worry about....so what is the difference? there really is not a difference imo.....you worry about all of them just the same! you worry about ALL of your children all of the time, just like those of you with 2 worry about your two, well I just have 3 more to worry about....its not a burden, or a headache

I happened to get pregnant 5 times...and YES I have heard of birth control.....thank you...have you ever heard of 99% effective?!? well that percentage that is there that it is not ALWAYS effective....well *I* am that percentage that can and DOES get pg on the pill!!! 2 of the 5 were not planned, and we were not planning on being pg, but it happened, and there was NOTHING we could do to change it ( I don't do abortions) so....we have 5 wonderful, well rounded children, that if you did ask them, life in our family is not so bad!!! we do the family game nights, movie nights, we play video games as a family....hell I know many families out there that have just 2 kids and the don't do half of the stuff we do as a family!! in fact my kids tell me that their friends are jealous when we talk about game nights and movie nights at school!! LOL

So if there is the perception out there that with having a large family there is no way to have some one on one time with the kids...well...yes there is and my family is living proof of that!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

yes that is what I am......A Slacker Blogger....LOL Honestly...Life just has a way of getting in the way of things sometimes....and I just have not been all that "together" as of late, and my blogging has taken a serious back seat to everything!!!

I guess maybe after the Holiday's I will get back into it again....I just don't seem to have the time to do it right now....I still have decorating, wrapping, and all that Jazzy stuff to get done....ugh...

Friday, November 21, 2008

1.) The last time I laughed really hard...2.) Forgive and forget...I think.3.) I remember when...4.) Write about something that bothered you this week.5.) Write a poem about a favorite color.

my choice is number 1, I could have done number 2, but...number 1 is more prevalent in my life right now....

I really don't remember the last time I laughed really really hard......these past few weeks in my life have been not so what you would call "laughing moment worthy" as I sit here and type this out....I am really racking my brain trying to remember....and sadly I cannot...if you read previous posts on my blog you will know what has been going on in my life these past 3.5 weeks and why I really don't have a lot to laugh really hard about...

I know life goes on, and you need to laugh really hard sometimes, but I have yet to find that moment to laugh really hard....maybe with my daughter coming home this week I will, but that is doubtful, because she was not here for her Uncle's funeral, and she has had a very hard time with it, and wants to say her goodbye when she comes home....and I have to be strong for her!! I have had to be strong for all of my kids, and man...sometimes that is HARD...our little girl this week has been with the vet because she got very sick....(see post below) and we have been doing all we can because I cannot bear to have her die so close to my children's uncle, that would just be way too much!!!

well to get back on topic....and stop my inane rambling..I just don't remember the last time I laughed really hard.......

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I ask this because our "little girl" Tee wee is in the doggy hospital right now....she had a seizure and honestly I thought she was going to die.....it was awful!!! we took her to the vet and she was really dehydrated and had an infection....so in went the IV fluids and antibiotics....he said that it should help her white cell count to come down, and her red cell count to come up....well that didn't happen......so, it has been determined that she will need a hysterectomy done....and the other choice.....she will die....

yeah tough choice there.....for some maybe....but for us....it was a no brainer!! she is our little itty bitty girl and if this is going to save her life then we HAVE to do it. she is Madisyn's dog, and with losing her Uncle just a few weeks ago, I could not let her dog die too.....that is just way too much for a 10 year old to handle imo.

so, the grand total for the dog.....$2021.00 dollars!!!!!!!!! yes you read that right.....two grand to save her life.....some think we are nuts for doing it for "just a dog" but she is not just a dog, she is a member of the family, and well as I stated to people, "you would do anything for your child wouldn't you?! well to US she is our child, and we will do all we can to save her!!" of course some have said, it is so not the same....but to each their own....I could not in my heart of hearts let the dog die!!! no way, could I live with myself knowing I did not do everything I could to save her. As my dad said, its only money....and if it makes your daughter smile with happiness because you cared enough to save her dog, then DO IT!! LOL

If there were any doubts at all my DH said that when he went in the last time to see her before he left, her looking at him the way she did was all he needed to know he was doing the right thing!!! He is such a good man!!! and I knew there was a reason I married him!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

the last time you had a YOU day? I do not remember it.....really I don't, I know some find this hard to believe, but I tend to put my kids needs first....always have and probably always will....I come in a distant........whatever.........I don't' even know my placement in life!! sad but true!!

I don't do the girls weekend....because quite frankly *my* idea of a relaxing Saturday or Sunday is watching Football!!! and most woman don't!! LOL My husband says I am a unique girl because I like all the sports, and enjoy watching them, could sit and be happy watching sports center....and I don't worry about makeup, getting my nails done....in fact...I have never had a manicure, pedicure, message, hair colored.....or any of the girly things....so I guess I cannot miss what I never had....I am such a non female person....heck I know men that are more feminine than me!!!!!!!!

well, I guess my when was.....got a little off topic, and out there....but hey...isn't that what these blogs are for...........

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Now come on all you blogging queens let's join together and let everyone know we won't stand for drama, we won't stand for blocking people from our sites, we won't stand for being immature, we won't stand for bashing other blogs...because we stand for BLOG PEACE!

We come here to have fun, to win stuff, to learn about others and thank God that someone else's child is not ours when we see him/her doing something naughty! It's a place to be yourself and share who you are with tons of people and brighten other peoples day.

Who's with me, who out there in bloggy land is tired of the blog bullies? Who out there is tired of the mean girls in the blog world?~And I will be the first to admit I was a mean girl to one blogger in the past and I am so very sorry for what I did~

Who wants to stand up and say "We want blogging to be fun again", "We want blogging to be about friendships?", "We want to not have to look over our shoulder and wonder if we are going to be blogged about". Let's stand together today and say to everyone out there in blog land "We Promote Blog Peace" and we want everyone to just get along.

Monday, November 10, 2008

that is why I have not blogged in quite awhile....My dear Cousin died suddenly at the age of 34. He was the director of my son's preschool, and my fellow iphone buddy....these past 2 weeks have been pure HELL I will not lie about that....it has been awful, I mean really it has just been bad....knowing in your head he is gone forever and never coming back, but....in your heart you cannot help but HOPE it was all just a bad dream and he is still here on earth....

I think in a lot of ways it would have been easier to deal with if we knew it was coming....and if we had time to prepare our son....but how do you prepare a 3 year old to understand death? that I do not know....he still does not completely understand....he woke up one morning last week and asked "mommy, can I draw a picture?" I said sure, who do you want to draw a picture for? he said "for Uncle Ralph so it will make him feel better and he can come back to us!!" I lost it...could not stop the flood of tears from flowing.....my poor poor boy just does not get it at all....and how can I possibly expect him too? That in itself has to be one of the hardest things to ever have to try to explain to a child....Death....gone, never coming back again, in Heaven with God....an Angel watching over us....

I try to think of the good times we had growing up...all of the trouble we got into as kids....and that is a good thing....remembering those times....but also sad because we lost such a great and lovable person....someone that devoted his life to kids, and truly caring about "his kids" he was a big guy, he looked like he could easily be intimidating, threatening just by his presence alone, but he was the most gentle teddy bears ever!!! and I will forever miss him!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

yeah you read that right....single with 4 kids.....LOLdh is gone yet again this week....and I have to honestly say....it truly sucks being a single parent....even if it is just for a week and not permanent. Can you say.....NO EARS!!! I swear as soon as their father leaves...their ears go with him out the door!!! I do not know how many times in the past 2 days I have said things over and over and over again to them......it gets OLD real fast!!!

I am not the push over one either....LOL you would think they would know that by now!! so fine, you don't want to listen...well, no computer time, no girl scouts this week, and bed time is earlier!!! "what, why, your so mean!! if dad was here he would.........." he would what? let you get away with everything?!? well guess what your dad is not here *I* am!! LOL the looks on their faces is quite priceless.....yeah mean mom is here!!!

I often wonder if the way I parent is bad.....kwim.....am I doing the right thing by grounding them restricting their activities if they do not pull the grades *we* expect vs the schools lame C average thing....I question myself like any other normal parent does...but....then I look at my College girl and think....yeah we did good!!! we did something right, because no matter how much we grounded her restricted her activities for purely stupid ass reasons (in her eyes) she is doing quite well on her own, taking her studying seriously, and doing a find job!!!

so in the end....if I get the "I hate you mom. or the your so mean mom" I can smile and know....that someday...they will understand...and appreciate that even though there were consequences to their actions, that *I* did do what was best for them.....because I can now reap the benefits of that from the 18 year old....

Thursday, October 16, 2008

at least in my humble opinion.....I try so hard to not talk politics....because not everyone sees my point of view.....especially within my own family....I am the black sheep....well my sister and I are the black sheep....I get tired of being pegged as an oil loving, tree hating, environmental despising, SOB because of my 'political affiliation'....just as I am sure the other side has theirs....

But what I despise the most is, those that will not open their minds up to the other sides POV...I have researched the other side, and done my homework, and yet I still cannot vote the other guy.....I just can't.....I thank god everyday that my husband is on my side with this and will voice his opinion when I am being attacked for my beliefs within my own family....He and my uncle have my back!!! in this lonely world of us vs them with in our family....I am always singled out as the "idiot" who cannot possibly have the brains to function, let alone make an informed decision!!

LOL...yes....my parents are that extreme....we have gotten into many heated debates on this, the last was on my son's birthday!!! and I let them have it...yes I know you are supposed to respect your parents, but man.....the stuff that was coming out of their mouths to their daughter was just enough to make me HAVE to say my peace!!! and I am the type of person that does let people have it...sometimes with tact and sometimes without....I just don't see a reason to pussy foot around things, and just sugar coat things so you don't hurt someones feelings....I just don't....what does that get you in the end...walked all over, and used....

I have learned to stand up for myself and my beliefs, I have learned to listen to the other side and learned to walk away and agree to disagree on things....the biggest thing I have learned is this........

"smile and wave boys, smile and wave!!"

that has got to be the best piece of advice EVER!!! that and "its not that I forget, its just that I don't' care" or "sorry my give a damn broke, please try again later"

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Seriously!?! I am asking....you do what THEY suggested for someone to do, and then bam they treat you like you are a traitor, and well whatever comes across their mind......because honestly I do not get their mind!! I cannot possibly wrap my mind around it....you are a so called friend and yet you treat people like shit, and expect them to take it forever!?! well I guess in "their world" that's OK....but here in the real world its not!!! Internet friends are REAL friends!!! I have Internet friends and 5 of them I have become really close with.......I know for a fact that we would do just about anything for each other and have!!! be it moral support, or a monetary donation, or to just be a phone call away....isn't that the definition of "friendship"?

So we go to a mommy board and post "fluff' so the eff what!! our fluff means something to us, we are not immune to it!! we actually relish in it, and WANT to know what is going on in each and every ones lives....even if it is something like my dd pooped in the potty, all the way to I am battling a disease.....we WANT to be there for each other....and what is so damn wrong in their eyes for a place to be continued so WE that want that type of "home" can go and continue on....

I guess I just don't get it and never will!!! As petty as it is now to be banned from a place where you made some other friends, life will go on and *I* will continue to live it MY way, and really to hell with those that want to remain in jr high for the rest of their lives.....

Monday, October 13, 2008

We all know how that goes for the most part....but let me tell you this much....when you have kids in every type of school setting they bring home every type of germ, bug and everything imaginable!!!

My kids come home with a cough...ok we try to take care of it...but....it gets worse, and me being the mom I have to take care of them. Well low and behold *I* get sick....my immune system is so low that everything they bring home I get!!!!

17 DAYS!!! yes you read that right...17 days of being sick. Talk about "no picnic" it sucked big time!!! seriously sucked....one day out of the 17 I actually managed to feel "ok" but other than that....it sucked!

so I think someone needs to invent a "sanitizing" sprayer that automatically kills any germ, bug or viral thing your kids attempt to bring home from preschool, elementary school and jr high!!! something that sprays as soon as they open the door!! LOL

until that day....Lysol, purell, Clorox wipes and all the other germ killing stuff will have to do!!! although...*I* think they don't do crap!!!

so that is where I have been, and why I have not posted in awhile.....not that anyone missed me!! ha ha....

Thursday, September 18, 2008

ok I get the bridge to no where...although....honestly I live 15 air miles south of where it was "going" to be built, and quite honestly.....as big as the island is the growth potential was huge...but anyway on to the next thing that has the NY times and others out there in the "lower 48" up in arms about us Alaskans.....

King Cove Alaska....they are on the Aleutian chain...the nearest airport is 25 miles away....K getting the picture yet? well, during out LOVELY winters here in Alaska Air travel by float plane is damn near impossible....Deadliest Catch anyone?!?! if you have watched that show you know damn well what I am talking about....well this small community wants to build a road to the nearest airport in Cold Bay....because gee with a road they could actually GET people out that need Medical help....because since 1979 11 people have died trying to get help by flying out of King Cove. BUT there is an editorial in the NY Times today http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/18/opinion/18thu4.html?_r=3&ei=5070&emc=eta1&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

that ripped Alaska, King Cove and the states Representatives a new one because they dare to want to build a road that would actually help people!!! BUT I guess because it is only a little tiny town of JUST 800 they do not matter at all!! I mean really, its not like we are any where near the size of New York, or Texas or California....Wait....Population wise we are not, but by the shear size of our state, we could squash them like a bug!!! sorry, my inner Alaskan woman came out there for a second!!!

I guess my whole point to this blog is to show the couple of you that actually bother to read my blog that it is just not useless pork barrel spending....unless you call connecting people to the ability to fly out of an area that will give you a chance at life useless then I guess I am wrong....

I am no expert of this, and have never claimed to be, but to me this is just one place where those that do not live the Alaska Life just need to STFU and back the Eff off, and until you come here and life the Alaska Life YOU will NEVER know what it is like!! NEVER!!! so Mr. Reid if you do what the NY Times editorial writer asked you to do, then I say fine, go and sit in your warm and cozy home, and when it starts to snow outside in DC maybe in the back of your mind King Cove Alaska will pop into your minds eye, and you will wonder, just wonder if maybe the person that day who desperately needed medical attention made it out safely, or did the plane they were trying to get to Cold Bay on crash into the freezing cold ocean and they all died!!!???

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

MEME today... LOL, since Mimi did not get to this until today...and she tagged me for this....

1.where were you 10 years ago?same place same time!!! LOL although I was 2 kids lighter...and I was just about to pop with Madisyn....good lord she is almost 10!!!!

2.What is on today's to do list:Laundry, cleaning, cooking....hmmm sound familiar anyone!!! LOL

3. What would you do if you were a billionaire?Live life to its fullest!!! oh wait I do that anyway!!! other than pay off bills of ours and my parents and their houses and such....I would just live life about the same...I am a no frills kind of girl...take me as I am or just leave me the hell alone!!! ha ha I would travel the world though...because that has always been a dream of mine....

Monday, September 15, 2008

I recently purchased a booster for my 5 year old since she has outgrown her current carseat. and upon reading the reviews there were some negative ones....so being the mom that I am I checked them out......................

Now mind you this booster is for OLDER kids, not for 2 year old kids....but all the negative reviews were from parents that purchased this seat for 2 year old kids!!! LOL and I am thinking ok, you purchased this seat for a toddler? it is a BOOSTER seat people!!! NOT for 2 year old toddlers!!! and even if you go to the website for this particular seat it says it is intended for OLDER children....that have outgrown their carseats!!! Last time I checked the average 2 year old does not fit the bill!!!

All of the positive reviews came from parents with age appropriate children.... you know the age that the seat was intended for....and they just rave about it.... so I guess my deal is..........if your going to purchase something like this for your child, shouldn't you as the parent at least make an effort to READ up on the AGE the product is intended for before purchasing it.....instead of wasting your money on the said product, and then write a negative review, that could have totally been avoided if you just did your homework....

ok rant over.....don't you just love my nonsense blogs....but hey...thats what my blog was intended for....just a place to get things off my chest and maybe feel better about things in the long run...LOL at least one can hope!!!

or husbands. I guess men in a lot of ways....why is it so hard to be happy? why can you admit when you are not happy!?! why can you not own up to it? you just say "I never said I wasn't happy" but then all your actions, speak and such say it all too clearly!!! but you expect everyone to just accept that you are happy and go lucky and just plain over the moon....when you are clearly NOT.

I guess I just do not understand....they say men don't understand woman...well that works both ways....my dh and I do have a good marriage, but there are times when I just do not understand the man....at work he is completely different.....seems personable, nice, pleasant, understanding and omg happy!!! BUT when he walks thru that door it is something completely different, he turns into the 'not happy guy' that we know and not love so much....the running joke (I know not mature at all) we have is "he gets paid to be concerned and nice at work, so thats why he does it!! LOL yeah that does not go over well, but at this point in time, honestly I am at a loss as to what to do with him....because he is a far cry from the man I married.....but I am not giving up on him don't get me wrong......I just want to know the inner workings of the male mind!!! not that that will help me in the least!!!

I just had to get this out, and that is what my blog was for, getting out the frustrations of living on an island in Alaska.....and this is a big frustration right now.......any ideas out there?

Friday, September 5, 2008

When I first heard that McCain picked Gov Palin, I was like OMG!!! Holy S**t!!! WOW!! McCain made a damn good choice!!! smart cookie that he is.... (well as you may have figured it...I like McCain) I was in total amazement that our gov was picked to be the VP for the republicans. I know she did a lot of good things in our state first and foremost she stepped up to the plate and pushed for an energy rebate for the resident's of Alaska to help with the high cost of heating oil here in the rural areas of the state, upwards of $9-$12 a gallon!!! yes you read that right people.... for a measly hundred gallons of heating oil it costs between 900 and 1200 dollars for just that amount.....and where it gets really really cold that lasts less than a month!!! with our natural resources here in Alaska and the surplus to our budget, she felt why not let every eligible Alaskan get money to help with their skyrocketing energy costs....if the big oil companies are making the money why not let the residents benefit!?! she fought long and hard for this, and it was finally passed on the last day of the session, just before the deadline....because she told them to find a way to make it work....and they did.....once she gets her nails into something especially for the people she does not back down....she knows what it is like to have to struggle to pay bills, and felt that it was the least the state could do....now with the idea of hunting and fishing....well people take exception to that....why I do not understand...HELLO we are in Alaska....it is a way of life here!!! For some people it is the ONLY way they get any sort of meat for the long winter months....they hunt deer, caribou, moose, elk, they hunt for FOOD....its not a sport, it is a necessity to survive here in Alaska....I have family that Hunts....We Fish!! because it is a subsistence for us....and honestly for some in my family it is for their survival....because if they did not have the deer and fish in their freezer they would not eat during the winter....nope they cannot afford to go to the grocery store and pay the HIGH prices for meat....they stock up when it is hunting and fishing season because it is a Necessity.....Yes I know she was the governor and why on earth would she hunt when she could have had a personal chef...oh yeah that's right she cut him loose, because it was a luxury that was unnecessary....she would hunt to help her family get meat for the winter, and omg....give to those in need!?!?! wow what a selfish biotch she is!!! I mean really.....give to those less fortunate????? the biotch!!! She has 5 kids....well nothing really to say on that other than....THANK GOD someone else does too!!!!!!! LOL but really the thing that irks me to no end is how because she does not stay at home with her kids that she is a bad parent!!! Now come on.....seriously?!? your gonna go there?!?!? Yup they did go there....well if having kids and a career is a bad thing, then all you woman out there that think its totally her putting her career before her kids better be ready for some harsh words!!! I am not a career woman, and honestly after all of these years of being a "mom" I have never been so ashamed to be a woman.....here is a woman with the chance to be the very first VP of America, and all some can do is bash her for "not putting her family first"!!! are you in their marriage? were you there when Todd and Sarah discussed this? I think not, so you know maybe he is more than ready to be the VP's guy...I mean he is already the first dude of the state of Alaska...why not be the Vice president's first dude?! I for one can say that if she does make it in, I am so happy that my girls will get to see a WOMAN in such a high ranking place in this Government of ours!! and maybe it will just make them think....damn if Sarah from Alaska can be the vice president....then why can't I!!!! and all you naysayers out there.....why can't one of my daughter's be the next woman vp!!!?? I mean just because you have kids does not make you any less of a person.....shouldn't limit you on what you can do with your life....now on to the 17 year old daughter being pg...OMFG!!! how dare the mother of that girl dare to want to be the veep!!! I mean she cannot even take care of her own home, how in the hell is she supposed to take care of the USA!?!?! is that how it goes?! I am going out on a limb here w/speaking that trash...because I cannot believe that people are actually saying this shit!!! Life happens, you cannot control every move your child makes!! you are not there with them every second of the day, and the best you can do is to teach your child to abstain from having sex, because that is the ONLY fool proof way of your dd not ending up pg!! because even if you gave them BC pills they are not 100% effective!! have you read the label lately? so teaching your child abstinence is a good thing....and 99.9% of the time they are not going to listen to you....you hope and pray they will....but teenagers usually don't...did YOU listen to everything your parents told you....did you abstain?! I in my total naive mom status thought sure my kid would never do this....I taught her better than that, I told her to wait for the RIGHT guy, and thought I had done it....only to have my world shattered that she DID NOT wait for the Right guy.....talk about a slap in the face......thank god she did not end up pg with the loser guy she chose......but I can tell you from experience that just because you say so, it isn't always so!!! So for those that are out there bashing on her for not teaching her daughter to wait....shame on you....those of you without sin, or faulty parenting practices please feel free to cast the first stone....I can't throw stones....I am a faulty parent too!!! there...I had to get this off my chest....I have in the last week heard too much for me to keep my mouth shut...and had to get it out of my system.....before I exploded!! LOL

Friday, August 22, 2008

those that read my blog...the whole four of you.....LOL I am sure you are tired of my blogs already. but I find them helpful, at a not so easy time right now....in a mere 4 days my daughter is leaving the only home she has ever known and going off to college and I have to say that scares me a lot!! I know that she knows we will always be here for her, that we did "good" by her, that we raised her right and all the other things that people say....my brain knows this, it really does, BUT my heart, that's a different story.....it does not care that we raised her right, it does not care that she is only a phone call, instant message, web cam view, email away....it just knows that she is going to be GONE, AWAY, OUT OF SIGHT, NOT HERE....and it HURTS....yeah, that about covers it....its an ache that I cannot describe, and only until you experience this first hand will you fully understand.....I for one never dreamed it would "feel" this way....never, I thought sure I would feel sad....but the "ache" I feel is a mean ass feeling....its just something that is there and really does not want to go away....I will do my best to keep my chin up and be strong for her, and as we are driving away then and only then will I totally lose it!!! at least I HOPE I can accomplish that!!!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

just had to blog about this....because I for one think it is total bullsh*t!!! Yesterday we watched as the Jamaican runners took all three medal's in the 100 meter sprint....the ones that came in behind the gold medal winner were TIED....so they BOTH got a silver medal...OK cool they tied they both DESERVE the silver right!!! well, today watching the uneven bars in gymnastics on tv, the girl from China did her routine.....scored a 16.725....she had mistakes....but they still rewarded her with that big score.....up next was the US girl....she did FAR better than the girl from China, sure she had a couple of mistakes BUT not nearly as much as the girl from China....(who by the way is sixteen my ass!!!) and ended up with a score of 16.725....same as the girl from China...both Gold medal winners right!?!?!?! I mean it is the Olympics after all where the best of the best if they are tied they both get the same gold medal right!!! NOPE not in gymnastics!!! they have a tie breaker system set up!!! how effed up is that?!?! the damn Australian judge obviously totally inexperienced or maybe just wanted to get back at the USA because we kicked the Aussie's ass in swimming....gave a total suck ass score to poor Nastia....but gave the Chinese chick a higher score....what she has been smoking I guess we will never know....the whole throw out of highest scores then the lowest to find out who wins the tie breaker.....is just a LOAD OF BULL!!! so I guess that sets up a fine example to young girls that gee in track and field and any other sport in the Olympics if you tie you both get the same medal...but if its Gymnastics....you are shit out of luck!!!! I agree with BélaKárolyi its a total bunch of bullsh*t and needs to be changed!!! ok just my little pissed off point of view on this....

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I have often thought about this, and wondered what things they will be doing in the future, what that future may hold for them.....how things that I am teaching them will affect them in the future.....if I did things right or wrong.....I guess this is really coming about because in 9 days my eldest is leaving for college, and I wonder if I have instilled all the values that I want her to have in her....and even if I did, will they stick, will she remember them? I know what a big bad scary world it is out there, and know she has to be let out of the nest to fly on her own, but one cannot help but wonder.....did I do right by her......I guess the only thing you can do as a parent is hope and pray you did and then let them falter and just be there for them to pick up the pieces when something bad happens.....not that you are hoping something bad happens but you kwim.....my oldest son has always wanted to be a paleontologist....since he was 3....and 10 years later it is still what he wants to do, and I have no doubts that if he puts his mind to it, he will succeed in that area......my second daughter.....well she is not sure what she wants to do it varies from a doctor, to a store owner, to whatever strikes her fancy that day......BUT I do have to say she is the one I am most looking forward to seeing what she will become......because 3.5 years ago she was hit by a car.....and that had to be the most scary thing in the world as a parent just knowing it was your child that was just hit.....somehow someway *I* knew it was going to be her in the street when I opened the door....no matter how many times I said "please let it be a dog, please let it be a dog" something deep down inside me KNEW it was her....sure enough there she was laying in the street not moving.....I can close my eyes to this day and remember it so clearly....and the saying "it gets easier with time" is a load of shit!!! no it doesn't!!! when I let myself dare to even think of that day, it still hurts like crazy, I can still feel all the emotion that I did that day....but I digress...she was sent down to Seattle for observation, because thankfully a very astute dr was working the ER and noticed a crack in her skull right behind her ear....and because of that she was airlifted to Seattle where they have a pediatrics intensive care unit.....so my baby girl all of the age of 6 was gone from me for a few days....it seemed like forever because an almost 8 month along pregnant woman was not allowed to travel with her daughter....it was not until she came home to us, that she asked us "if God wears shorts and sunglasses?" so being ever so curious as to what she was talking about I asked her "why, I am sure he can wear whatever he wants too" she then proceeded to tell us that when she was hit by the car and laying there motionless in the street (as I was shaking her to wake up) she saw God, and where she was was so beautiful and peaceful and quiet.....and he told her that "he was not finished with her yet, she had to go back" so she did, and the next thing she remembers is me sitting there on the ground with her and yelling at her to WAKE UP!!! she opened her eyes and tried to get up, but could not....THANK GOD everything is fine with her and she has no real scars from it....but that takes me to the "I cannot wait to see what she becomes, and what she does in this world" because God sent her back to us and told her he was not finished with her yet.....so for me who truly believes in God and believes her and KNOWS that he spoke to her, I just am impatiently waiting for her to grow up and become whatever it is she is meant to be and do.....its not that I do not care what my other kids will do and become, but I just have a feeling that she was meant for something far greater than what I am or ever hoped to be.....

my two youngest....they vary between a princess, a bowser...(don't ask he is from Mario) policeman, nurse, doctor, and whatever strikes their fancy on that given point in time....you know how it is with a 5 year old and a 3 year old....but I still cannot wait to see what all of them become when they do grow up and leave me and my house......but thankfully I have a few more years before I have to go thru all of this again!!!!! 5 to be exact.....then college, life in the big bad world starts all over again for the next in line....so when you are so eager for your kids to grow up and move out.....enjoy the time you have with them....because in the blink of an eye they go from 3 years old to 18 and leaving you......and to tell the truth that is NO PICNIC at all!!!! THEY (whoever they are) never told me how hard this was going to be!!!

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Monday, August 11, 2008

This seems to be the debate out there with mothers these days....what influence do these "dolls" have on our girls. *I* happen to be a mom with 3 girls that thinks they have no REAL influence on them at all....they did not make my daughters want to dress in skimpy clothes, act sexually inappropriate, older than their age.....etc....they were just "dolls" something you dressed up and played with....hell Ken wasn't even the dominate force in the relationship!!! Barbie was always saving Ken from his predicaments he was getting himself into....you know hanging from the ceiling fan, hanging from the window sill in the family van because he was driving too fast....LOL ken was definitely not the manly man in our house....he always needed saving from some foolishness he got himself into....and Barbie was always the strong woman who saved the day....

Princesses....now those did not come along in popularity until my second daughter came along....and she is far from a girl that emulates them....she is the most stubborn, opinionated, take no prisoners type of girl....she is not so much into them now that she will be 10 soon, but in her most "princess crazed" faze she did not try to dress like them or act like them or anything...she was just a girl playing with a doll and that was that....and they too got into the predicaments that be felled Ken....and they would take turns saving each other....because one day Ariel was the best because Cinderella was in the water and got her foot stuck, so Ariel had to save her......then it was Belle's turn to save the day....you get what I mean....

now my third daughter who is 5 is totally obsessed with everything princess....she LOVES them she is totally nuts about them....she dresses up in the costumes (they used to be Halloween costumes) and pretends to be Belle, Ariel, Aurora, and dances around and sings the songs....just normal innocent kids things.....she does not act out sexually, or inappropriately in any way....she acts like a little girl dreaming of being a princess.....I mean come on what woman out there would not LOVE to be a princess!?! or at least treated like a princess!!! lol

So far with my girls they are just normal girls, that do not dress like ho's, act out in a sexual manner, or anything that I hear some mother's say that these "dolls" represent, or could cause them to act like.....to me that is a bunch of BS! its called parenting....setting limits, and boundaries....to blame a doll for how your little girl acts is just plain mind boggling to me..... I just cannot grasp that concept! and I doubt I ever will......

what are you doing to me man.......the Jets......you are actually going to make me watch the jets games.....the freaking jets!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......the sacrifices we make to watch you play again.....I guess I just have to as my son would say "suck it up princess" and just do it.....to see you and your enthusiasm on the field again will be worth it in the end....the packers.....I am still OUT on that portion of the equation.....mike and ted....I think will be packing their bags come the end of the season.....I mean....honestly......Brett Favre on one side, Aaron on the other.....hmmmm which one do I pick to LEAD the team into the season?!? Aaron...because he didn't change his mind about retiring, he didn't use his god given right of changing ones mind!! give me a break!!! I hope he does well......really I do.....but there is a tiny tiny part of me that thinks.....he will fall flat, and the Green Bay fans will be the ones to pay for Mike and Ted's stupidity!!! yeah I said it Mike and Ted are S T U P I D!!! DUMB!!! ASININE!!! hmmm just about any word that is related to those words will fit!!! its how I feel....I have loved the Packers since they took on Brett all those years ago....I stuck with them thru it all the ups and downs....but this "down" is a hard pill to swallow.....how to get past it is going to be the challenge for any packer fan.....but THIS packer fan is not a happy packer fan.....she is a disappointed packer fan....a disenfranchised packer fan.....I look at my plates on my car around my name and think.....do I take them off in protest and get a Jets jersey with my beloved #4 on it.....because when it comes down to it.....Brett or the Packers.......this one fan has to say.......Brett all the way baby!!!! he IS football....he is not about the money... he proved that when he didn't take their 20 mil to quit.....he is about PLAYING FOOTBALL!!! and he LOVES it he is a kid on the field and to ME that is how a professional football player should be.....LOVING every minute of it and doing it because he truly LOVES it......

Saturday, August 2, 2008

not a very "come and read type of title" but....that is how I feel right now!!! I am so dreading the experience!!! the thought of going into a small tube that makes these obnoxious thumps for any amount of time is just unbearable!!! I get all out of sorts just thinking about it....I am so not ready for this.....I have known since Wednesday that I am getting one....not much time to prepare....but.....I am trying so hard to be positive about it... you know like, we will finally KNOW what is going on with my back......but at the same time the thought of being in a teeny tiny tube enclosed with loud ass thumps making their lovely noises all around me....just makes me want to puke!!! the last time I had one was 5 years ago....and I had two done in the same year...the first one was pure HELL and the second one was not so bad.....BUT.....I was drugged up at the time because my lovely 5 year old daughter blew my disc from approx 3mm to a whopping 11mm on the last push to get her out.....I know it has to be done, and that I will know what is going on when it finally does get done.....but that still does not erase the fact that I cannot handle small tight spaces.....I am doing OK as of now....but come Sunday evening and Monday morning I so will not be doing OK....that is a fact I do know!!! anyone got any tips out there as to how to keep myself cool calm and collected!?!? because any advice would be appreciated....otherwise on national news tickers you will see "woman arrested for going ballistic in a hospital in Alaska"....j/k I think!!!

Friday, August 1, 2008

yeah, that is pretty much how it is.....or so it seems....look away and bam they are getting ready to leave.....whats the deal with that!!?? yes I know its all apart of growing up....but what I want to know is where did that little inquisitive girl go? you know the one that thought you walked on water, and asked you about everything...."mommy how do birds fly? why do fish swim? why don't you like my pet spider? Look over there mommy!!!" and you look, and look back....and the little inquisitive girl is now a young woman getting ready to leave you and get on with her life.....makes you look back and wonder if you did right by her? did you instill the right values? did you let her know that it is ok to have your own opinion? and that you can do anything at all if you set your mind to it!!! I think I have....but there are times when I am not so sure......you know the times when Mom could possibly never ever know what it is like to have your heart broken....or a friend totally betray you....how could you know this your my mom......Well darling....mom was not always a mom...and gasp....was actually once in your shoes!!! I know I have done some right things for sure.....she would give her life for her brothers and sisters.....that is a given....even when she is griping about them and being their other mother....I know this fall when she is by herself in her dorm room....she will be missing them tremendously!!! and I think deep down she knows that.....so even though I looked away for that split second and she went from 2 to 17 in a blink of an eye.....and she will be gone from my daily sight....she definitely will not be out of mind!!! and when she enters this big bad world and feels like it is getting the best of her, she can always come home and drop her guard and just be the little inquisitive girl I once knew........

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Honestly......sometimes that's what it is.....jr high coming back into your life and rearing its ugly head.....man I thought that was left years and years ago.....the whole "well she said....." and the "well she did this first....." really reminds me of jr high and quite frankly my 10 year old daughter and her friends!!! come on people we are grown women with children!!!!! the catty, behind the back, BS that comes about is totally unnecessary....you should be able to speak your mind without fear of being "deleted" or "admonished" for hurting someones feelings....if you don't agree with things most will just sit back and go with the flow...because they are afraid of stepping on any ones toes....I often wonder....do they do that in real life too....how much does their "Internet" life differ from their "real" life....do they just let people walk all over them in their real life, or do the stand up for themselves and what they believe in?

I am known for speaking my mind....I do it in my Internet life and my real life....it is just me...and if people don't like me then OMG I am not going to shrivel up and die because so and so does not like me...I could care less....life is too short to worry about what others think of you, the only people that I worry about what they think is my mother and father, my husband and kids....because honestly in the end they are what matters most!!! friends can come and go but family is family and they are always there....you can fight and argue and say some pretty ugly things and in the end....you find your way back to each other....(disclaimer at least it is that way in my family!!!) because you are FAMILY....I have a couple of close internet friends....they are two of the best girls you would ever want to meet!!! one is quiet at times but then she will go and do something totally crazy and off the wall that just makes you love her more!!! (ahem ar's unmentionables) especially when she has some brownies in her system!!! the other one is loud like me....she will tell you like it is in a "tactful" sort of way (so not like me) we have differing opinions on things and can debate things til we are blue in the face and in the end agree to disagree and still be the best of friends.....omg what a concept!!!!!!

I know one day I will meet these two ladies and it will not be awkward or weird, we have told each other some of the most private things you can tell another person, and we are so there for each other.....I know I would absolutely die without them in my life....if anything these two have been the constant in my life for almost 4 years now (OMG!!!) it goes to show you that even though mommy boards can be quite jr highish at times.....that some of the best friendships can come from such a place......and for that....I will be forever grateful for the drama filled mommy board I belong too!!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

As parents when we have our kids we hold them close as newborns and wonder.....what their lives are going to be like in 18 years, where they are going to go to college, what are they going to be etc......well I can tell you one thing for sure.....18 years have gone by in the blink of an eye...if you look below at my wordlessWednesday posting....you can see the little wide eyed 3 month old baby grew up into a HS graduated young lady....and is now heading off into the proverbial sunset to start her own life.....I am so very proud of her, she is doing what this mother never did...go to college....I had no desire to further my education...NONE ZERO ZILCH....I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up other then to be a mother....some may say that's such a lack of "desire" or whatever on my part, but....my life my choice....well her life her choice, and she made the right one....she is off to further her education so she can have a career first then have kids....at least that is her goal....I think back over the past 18 years and wonder.....WOW where did the time go? wasn't it just yesterday that she came and asked me "mommy, when will I be bigger like you?" or "mommy, I can tumble!!! watch me watch me!!!" now she is about to tumble right out of my daily life and move on....I know its apart of life, but nobody said it would be this hard....nobody told me that when you are about to let your first born go off to college, that it would literally break your heart in two....she is a good kid and I know we raised her well, she was not a hell raiser, never got into trouble like some of her other friends, but.....there is the part of me that just would like her to be the little girl that crawled up on my lap and said "I love you mommy, your my best friend" and not leave us......

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Monday, July 21, 2008

do you ever wonder just that....what the helga is wrong with that person? I often times find myslef having to bite my tongue in situations because quite honestly, I could totally rip someone a new one if I did not refrain from saying what was on my mind.....I guess that is all apart of "growing up" LOL Yes, I have grown somewhat, I know my dad certainly didn't think it was possible, but I showed him now didn't I!!! LOL or did I??? since he is not apart of my life anymore he would not even begin to know, but then again maybe he does, because I have given up having false hope where he is concerned, so.....maybe he noticed a little...doubtful, but maybe...you see the old wendi would have just told people off without regard of their feelings, or seeing the consequences of her actions....sure she would have felt better for a little while, then the reality of the situation would sink in, and the ramifications of it all would be brutal.....but this older, somewhat wiser wendi sits back and evaluates the situation first....as hard as it is to swallow at times, she does her level best to bite her tongue and stfu.....I know how hard that is for some to "see" in me, because some do know me oh so well.....like my sister, she often thinks "wwwd" what would wendi do.....and that is reserved for the extreme cases where she really wants to say something, but doesn't because she is a better person than I am!!! I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing....she says its a good thing, but I am not too sure!!! LOL to be known as the "bitch who speaks her mind" can be somewhat daunting....I guess I am always expected to say whats on my mind.....and honestly, is it a good moniker to have? I mean.....as far as my kids go....I don't think it is necessarily a good thing....I already have one daughter that does speak her mind....much to my chagrin.....but then people know that they cannot pull any bs with her at all, that she will call them on it, and not to mess with her....is that a good thing, or is it a bad thing? I have yet to figure that one out.......

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My son decided he needed a bath, because he was stinkey and smelled like butt!!! yes those were his exact words!!! so he squeezed his little naked buns into the bathroom sink and tried to fill it up!!! My life is definately not boring!!!!!

most tend to agree that they should put their dh's first...that their needs need to come before all else....I don't see it that way....dh and I have been together for 19 years now....we know each other inside and out....he knows I love him, and I know he loves me...we don't do the date nights because honestly with 5 kids...its just not feasible....we make time for each other....it may not seem like quality time to others, but we do what we can with a house full....even if its just sitting together in our big ass recliners watching tv shows we like, or talking about our days....and him asking about my "mommy friends" LOL Maybe at times I do take him for granted because we have the ability for me to stay at home with our kids....but as he says....he would not have it any other way....he loves the idea that I am at home with them, and that when they get sick that I am there for them to come home to.....I try to tell him how much I appreciate him, and he knows it, by the little things I do, be it buying him a Mtn Dew and bringing it to him at work, or buying him his favorite ice cream or things of that nature....because to me it is the little things in life that mean so much more than the big things......sure him buying me a mustang was a wonderful thing....but I quite honestly the popcorn machine he bought me had to be the highlight of all the presents he has ever bought me!!! of course this was a total "HUH" from him...LOL how could I possibly get more excited about a popcorn machine than a mustang? and it is quite simple really.....while the mustang is what I built online and he bought it for me, because he wanted to, it was a gift that really was not a necessity.....and to ME him buying me a popcorn machine (like the movie theaters have) was something that I could only dream about....because that wasn't something you could just go out and buy a few years ago.....but now here it is sitting in my house making the most wonderful popcorn in the world......and for any popcorn lover...you will definately understand that it is the ULTIMATE gift!!!

OK sorry....to meander....back to the topic at hand........

I do tend to put my kids first....I always have....for the last 17 and a half years I have done this.... its not because I do not love my husband as much, it is because it is my duty as a mother to teach them and mold them and to show them as much love and support as I possibly can, and so that they know that when they leave my house and go off into this big bad world, that there will ALWAYS be unconditional love waiting for them at home!!! We have our own unique way of doing things that maybe most families or couples just don't get, but it works...Bruce and I have a deep love, that is so deep within me that the thought of him not being there HURTS....and he feels it and knows it....it is just as deep as my love for my kids....but there is a difference to me of that love....because even though we said we would "love honor and cherish" each other, sometimes it just doesn't work out....and with that being said....I know if he were to die or leave me, I could and would go on, I would have too....for my kids.....but if something were to happen to all of my kids.....I just do not know if I could go on....I don't know if I could find the strength to go on....even for my husband....and as wrong as that sounds...he understands that...we have talked about it like we do about everything....I guess we have the kind of relationship that is very different from some, but I would not change it for anything......

I get that a lot in my shop....well technically my father's shop, but hey since I am said manager of the shop....it is my shop....we do the touristy stuff...all designs are done by my father and are originals that are reproduced on said items in the USA in various parts of the country....our cards and mini prints are printed in Oregon along with the Tshirts and Tote bags....our Hats are done in Georgia, the Cups are done in California....and there comes the sticking point....the ONLY place to buy the tan ceramic mugs for my fathers designs to be printed on is from China....so...on the bottom of each cup it says "made in china" so...of course...the designs are done in china right!?!?! NO....they are done by my father....you see the man standing over there by the window...well that is him...the artist!!! our designs are put onto the cups in San Diego CA at the one and only company in the USA that does 22kt gold designs on cups.....if you would like their number I will gladly give it to you so you can verify this information!!! BUT the cup states "made in china"!!! well the ACTUAL cup is made in CHINA.....because there is not one place in the USA that sells this particular cup for the company to use to put the designs on...we have looked, they have looked....so YES while the CUP says "made in china" because the CUP is...the design is made by my father, sent to the printing company in CA and put on the CUPS that are yes indeed "made in China"..........well I don't want anything made in China....

and the whole while I am so trying to not give them a giant bump on the head made in ALASKA by the cup made in china because of their total lack of ability to understand the concept that my father is not a little china man making Tsimshian Indian art in China....

Monday, June 23, 2008

so, today I officially turned 38........and officially have spent half of my life with my husband....and to be honest I don't know anything else....not that I want to, but you know what I mean...I cannot picture my life without him in it....its like he has always been there.....sure there are times when we have our moments, but in the end....life would definately be dull without him in it....he is the yin to my yang....we complete each other sentances and thoughts....scarey, but true!! LOL

so, 38 years old....looking back on my 38 years.....would I change anything.....not really, but I am sure there are a few little things I would change....most people have those little things...like the shape of my body after having 5 kids....I know I could do that...but if it could magically change on its own that would be wonderful!!!!! LOL....yeah I know no such luck!!! Life in general is pretty good....sure there are times when I feel my age....my back is whacked so that limits me on things I can do...that part definately sucks....but all in all....38 is not so bad....

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Life in general has rules....well more like guidelines I guess.....that you are expected to follow by at times....to be PC in most cases....do you find that at times you so do not want to be PC? that you would rather just tell it like it is, and let people know what you really feel? I know there are times that you do, and you really feel better, and there is no looking back, because it was the RIGHT thing to do....but what about the times when you REALLY REALLY want to, but know in your heart of hearts no good would come of it. what do you do then? are you one to keep your mouth shut, and move on, or do you stew in it and let it fester until it comes out in one fail swoop? or just end up biting the bullet and saying what you feel no matter the consequences?

I am in the position right now, I know no good would come of me saying what I would love to...It may make me feel better for the moment, but the ramifications would be mind blowing!!! Life altering, and possible loss of income and that is what makes me stfu, and not say a word....

I can be the bigger person and walk on the higher plane....but man I tell ya....it gets HARD sometimes!!! damn hard!!!

Friday, May 30, 2008

and don't get me wrong I totally appreciate all the business they give our little gift shop here in Alaska....without them my kids would go to school with no new clothes in the fall.....its just some of the random question you get asked.....like...."how many cars do you have on the island?" well I don't know that, sorry....not off the top of my head....."why don't you know how many cars you have on your island?" well sir where you are from, do you know how many cars you have in your city? "no, I don't and that is a rediculous question to ask me!" EXACTLY!!! have a nice day..... "we are in Alaska right?" yes you are....."do you take Canadian money?" nope sorry....even though you are in ALASKA we only take US currancy you know since we are apart of the United States of America!!!....."how do you get your cars on and off the island?" we have the Alaska Marine Highway ferries that we use to get from here to Ketchikan, or to Prince Rupert, BC or all the way down to Bellingham Washington if we need to....."you can't just drive?" Sir, we are on an ISLAND.....surrounded by water, there is no place to drive to!!! "oh yeah, thats right! but if you have no place to drive to, why do you have cars?" NEXT!!!!!! LOL I honestly think the Fresh Salty air does something to their braines!!! getting all the smog, and other nasty air out of their lungs, just makes them loopy I guess!!! those are just a few of the many that I have been asked.....and I am sure there will be more!!! stay tuned!!!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I have had an eventful May....My oldest daughter graduated Highschool, and my youngest daughter graduated preschool.....two days apart....now if that does not make it crazy enough trying to plan things and be in 4 different places at once....my middle daughter decides to get sick......now mind you this is a girl that has not missed one single day of school the entire year....and the second to the last week of school she decides to have a 102.7 degree fever.....out the entire week.....so on top of her being sick, my oldest son comes home from school sick....now here we are with two graduations, two sick kids in the house, trying to prepare for the parties, and all that jazz and keep the rest of us "unsick" shoving our faces with coldeze lozenges because we do not have time to be sick!!! no time at all!!! (btw I highly recommend those little suckers!!! woke up with a sore throat popped a few of those throughout the day, and bam sore throat gone) we make it thru the graduations the decorating, and the ceremonies....then I have tourist season or as I like to call it OPEN SEASON here in Alaska starting, and I had to get my fathers gift shop in order for the tourists to come in and get their grimy finger prints all over my nicely cleaned glass cases, and pick up cups move them from one spot to another, and then take a shirt from one rack, and oh wait I don't like that one, so I am going to take this one and put this one, um right here, where it does not belong.....yeah....can ya tell I just LOVE this time of the year!!! LOL so I get the place in order, have the first tour of the season come in...things are looking up hmmm its the 21st of May already?!?! damn....time has just gone by....dang....thing I have to get done and then maybe my life will get back to normal....well as normal as it can in our house....then Thursday rolls around....migraine hits......ok fight it....take what you can and get that bugger to back down and go away...far far away....get to the clinic for Jourdy's Dr appt, nope migraine still there....luckily for me my niece works there and See's me in pain and sets up an appointment for me to get a lovely shot to make it go away....get the shot...go home and fall asleep for the next 4 hours!!! Friday comes.....MIGRAINE FROM HELL is in the house....complete with nausea and all of that lovely stuff that goes with it.....I take one of my pain pills praying it will stay down.....I fight and fight and fight the nausea for it to stay down....an hour and a half goes by...still there...not working....time to take another round.....but wait....porcelain god here I come....nothing is going to stay down and it is not going away with anything I have at home.....I call DH tell him to come and get me to the ER because I am not doing well at all....he takes me in...they darken the room....take my blood pressure all I remember is 182 over something and the comment YUP she IS in some real pain....and thinking NO SHIT really!!! thanks for letting me know, because I was wondering why I was here!!! just give me the phenagren and Demerol and get me out of this hell please!!!! thank god the dr comes and says we will get your shot, and off they go....the nurse comes in, I get the lovely dose and wait about 20 minutes and the is a slight dulling of the pain....its still there but the nausea is gone....thank god for that.....dh takes me home as I am really out of it from the shot....I go to bed next thing I know it is 4:30 and he is giving me a pill and telling me it should get rid of the rest...and about 4 hours later I wake up and have no pain for the first time in two days.....if you do not suffer from migraines thank your lucky stars you do not....they suck big fat ones!!! and are not something I would wish on anyone!!! so that is how my life has gotten interesting this month....it was a month that seemed to take forever to get here and now it is almost gone, and I am left with the thought of.....where did the month of may go....so much has gone on this month that it just went by and now....I am trying to play catch up with some things that got put on hold.......because of the month of may.......