The Power of a Woman

“We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore”.

Happy International Women’s Day! // La mulți ani de ziua femeii!

(EN) I feel the need to explain my weeks of absence and today inspires and motivates me with power, confidence and independence. There’s one moment in a woman’s life which triggers the time when she can’t be bothered anymore. Past is then, present is now, future is to be. No one can touch, hurt, compete with her. She becomes the woman she thought she would be when she’ll grow up, starting a new chapter and looking back with a content conscience. This is definitely a cliché. Talking about how confident and empowered are women nowadays but mainstream feminism is allowed today.

(EN) I have a post which promised a lot more than I can do with my university time. With projects happening in the same time, holiday planning, loads of deadlines to work for and overthinking everything 24/7, anxiety and panic attacks got to me. Kendall Jenner opened about it, Selena Gomez focused her Vogue interview on depression and anxiety. Why not do it myself? It’s not hard for me to open up about certain subjects, it’s the way I narrate it, and today, how I write it.

I’ve just needed to break of that bubble of panic. A bubble where there’s no motion, only pause, thoughts levitating around, no direction. These weeks I was in a constant panic mood. I wasn’t sure what was going on around me, with past thoughts running through my mind, I couldn’t focus. On life, on university, on work. As Lana del Rey says “We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore”. I felt more than nothing, I felt panic, fear, sadness and disappointment. It wasn’t me. The pressure of pleasing everyone with the content of my blog was unnecessary. I didn’t think wisely. I want to keep this blog because I like sharing my opinion, I like to share constructive critique and more than that, I like writing and sharing my experiences which I bring with me from university and life. I also like showing my strong and ironic personality. I like the fact that it’s not for everyone to understand but that makes it interesting, and funny sometimes.

How did I overcome it? I had a moment. Few seconds when I’ve realized that this is just a moment out of billions. I know this won’t be my last panic attack but what I know is the fact that I get stronger and more confident. Life hits you sometimes and that’s fine. It would be boring as fuck if it was perfect. I don’t want a perfect life, I want a strong me. I am a strong me.

More people should open up about this. It doesn’t show weakness or shame, it shows confidence and the power of admitting it and telling the truth.