Guest author and contributor Evan Anderson knows his way around the financial world. As a gifted analycist guy who does financial stuff he’s way too creative and smart to be toiling away behind excel spreadsheets but according to Fly Ty “You Gotta Make That Paper Baby”.

And indeed he does make that paper, baby, but he’s pretty good at other stuff. Here’s a book he wrote. Well, the cover anyway.

If you can’t read it, download the file. No virus, I promise. It’s worth a read. Give it to your frienzs.

I was raised by a family comprised of mainly seamen, showmen, and salesmen so it should come as no surprise to anyone that I embody three very distinct traits of all three – a potty mouth, dropping the gs from my verbs, and a penchant for superstition and lore. Phrases such as red sky at night, sailor’s delight; itchy nose, you’ll kiss a fool; leave the lid off the kettle, company will call, and of course, green M&M’s, your horny friend, were recited around the house on a daily basis.

Now that I am an adult (I pay my own bills and exercise my right to not vote) I’m superstition bustin’ the phrases that raised me into the cynical, Reality TV watchin’ woman I am today. Obviously a red sky at night is a delight for all people (except for those living in Kings Landing – bust), an itchy nose precedes every kiss from my husband (burst), and I lost the lid to the kettle so the Mormons always come a knockin’ (boom). But what of those green M&M’s? Are they really your horny friend?

I began debunking this lore by first embarking on a magical trip to the Mars M&Ms website where I was prompted to enter my date of birth. At first I thought I “accidentally” logged onto Boone Farm’s again but no, it is so they can ensure they are marketing the brand responsibly*. After receiving an email from my friend – haha grumpy cat – and momentarily forgetting about the task at hand, I headed to the store** to purchase a plethora of M&Ms – pretzel, mint, dark, milk, almond. I ate them all, paying close attention to my feelings with every swallow of the little colored nuggets of love, but especially the vert ones. I found that the only M&Ms that made me even just the tad bit randy had a nut-family filling – peanut butter, peanut, coconut, these nuts, bustanut. In conclusion, my study found that it is the word association and not the color of the candy shell that make this opsomaniac*** 50 shades of hornay.

Nut. Busted.

*M&M’s.com. Consumer alert you must be this old to ride this ride. Also, Raspberry filled M&M’s…gross.
**This lore was busted through pure conjecture. Candy isn’t Weight Watchers friendly. Did you know a bag of peanut M&M’s is 7 points? That is a 12-ounce double IPA, or 8-ounces of wine, or two Taco Beezy Bean Burritos. My mother did not raise a fool.
*** n. a person with an extreme enthusiasm for a particular food (big words dot com!)

By now, I’m sure zero of you have been scratching your head wondering, “when are those assholes going to come out with another issue of Brunch! so that I can promptly get rid of it?” Others (none) of you have probably been thinking “GAWD, its been 4ever! Even longer – it’s been 5ever!”. Well guess what????

We’ve set aside our day jobs, shirked our responsibilities and neglected our non-existent children to give you (all zero of you) the chance to own yet another piece of useless history. That’s right – Brunch!Magazine Issue #5 will be hitting newsstands….whenever we get it done.

The good news is that the hard part is done, now the hard part is next. You’re not privy to that information.

Been busily working on getting this thing all set up. You can read some articles from issue three now.

More exciting though is that you can now get brunch! from two more locations. One is Burger Records in Fullerton! It’s located at 645 South State College Boulevard. They carry lots of new and used vinyl as well and it’s also a record label that puts out a lot of really great records and tapes, so it’s worth checking out. I picked up the album, There’s No Sky (Oh My My) by JAILL.

Several articles from Issue number 2 have been added to the “From the Print Edition” page for your reading enjoyment. Some teaser articles from the remaining two issues will be added over the course of the next couple days, but remember: the best way to read brunch! is on paper, the way that nature intended.

A video has been added to the video page. It is an interview that Jesse La Tour conducted for brunch! #3.

Lastly, a new page has been added to the site. Check out th elink titled “DUB THE CAT” to learn all about our missing friend, DUB and to hear a live recording from Nerdy Thursday when Beck Holt joined the brunch! bunch in song to find the missing CALLICO CAT.