AXIS MAGAZINE (2009)

IF YOU WERE AND ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM BE?
Anything I can get my paws on. Personally, I am a big fan of vanilla so I would think that if I was an animal I would probably have better taste and be more interesting. I would probably go for pistachio but.

SO THEN WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?
I would be a tiger…wait that sounds really fruity, I need a different animal.

SO YOU WOULD BE A TIGER THAT EATS PISTACHIO NUT?
No, I’m not any good at this. That’s why it’s so bad. I should be an eagle, and that’s why I would like pistachio nut ice cream because eagles like nuts.

ACTUALLY I THNK THEY EAT MICE AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
I’m failing at this…so I would have to pick a bird who likes pistachio. You know what gets the short end of the stick? Pelicans. No one ever wants to be a pelican.

BUT THEY DO FLY AND OTHER PEOPLE CAN’T.
They’re pretty vicious. Let’s start this all over. I would be a ferret. They’re cool.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ORLANDO?
I’ve been to Florida because I’ve played in Tampa a few times at Fly Bar. Just acoustic shows but last time I was in Orlando was ‘98. I went to visit some friends that were working there. I drove up from Miami and went to that wind tunnel thing where you simulate sky diving. That was my first and only Orlando experience.

WHAT’S BEEN ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS YOU’VE DONE?
I think the stupidest thing I’ve ever done was a couple of weeks ago when I was golfing with my band and we were racing golf carts and I jumped out of mine but apparently these golf carts were doing about 12 to 15 miles an hour.

OH NO…
When you’re sitting still in an object that’s moving 15 miles an hour and when you exit that vehicle it’s very difficult to instantly run 15 miles an hour. I don’t even think I can run that fast at full speed. So I ended up doing a face plant and not on the grass, but on concrete.

“I guess they are really worried that
if they would invest in my music and…
at a moment’s notice, I do a film”

DID YOU BREAK YOUR NOSE OR ANYTHING?
No, luckily it was like a slip-n-slide on concrete and I did a swan dive my chest and head up.

WHY RACE GOLF CARTS? DOESN’T YOUR BAND HAVE A TOUR BUS? ESPECIALLY ONE OF THOSE COOL ONES FROM THE 60’S?
We’re saving up for one but most of the time we either tour kind of around our region and I tow a trailer with my truck or we do a lot of fly dates. For Florida Music Festival, it’s a little bit of a drive and we haven’t toured enough of every region to be able to build a tour all across country. So we’re just going to fly in for the show and do a tour around Florida.

WHY IS YOUR BAND UNSIGNED? WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET SIGNED?
You have to ask the labels that question (laughs). I courted a few of them when I first released my full band album in January of ’08 and I got the acoustic version of that album coming out May 5th of this year.

WHY AN ACOUSTIC ALBUM?
I’ve done so many solo shows a lot of fans were like “When are you coming out with an acoustic version that we’ve heard so often?” It’s like when Incubus revamped their sound based on their fans. I wanted to give people what they wanted, although I don’t even have 1/5, no 1/4, no 1/8, no 1/10 of the fans that they have.

SO BACK TO BEING UNSIGNED…
The labels courted me for a minute and I think that a.) They don’t know exactly what they’re doing because everything is kind of changing right now and b.) I think they don’t think I’m serious about my music. Even thought I’ve been playing music for 14 years that doesn’t really prove anything to them. I guess they are really worried that if they would invest in my music and…at a moment’s notice, I do a film.

THAT MAKES SENSE THOUGH, RIGHT?
I think they both benefit each other and it’s just a matter of scheduling. You can’t really change the mind of an archaic organization. My big joke is that the day I get offered a record deal will be the day I don’t need one.

WHY’S THAT?
Because it’s how everything happens. It’s like if you’re interested in dating a girl. She’ll only want to date you the minute you are sort of over the idea of trying to get a date with her. Everyone wants what they can’t have. It’s just how things work. So a label will only really be interested in me when I’m selling enough records and making a enough of a splash playing shows or whatever. If I’m making enough of a splash for them to make an offer then I don’t need them to sign me. If I am running the company, managing myself, booking my own shows, I own all the music and I’m selling enough records for them to notice then I’m better off without them…I’m obviously pursuing my music career with a passion and fury considering that the last year I wasn’t signed and I played 85 shows, which isn’t a lot for most touring bands but I’ve only really been touring with this latest inception since November of 2007. I had my first band in 97 and I only really played the west coast region then. But most bands that I know and love that are suddenly popular have been doing it for ten years or more. I’ve only really been a touring musician for two years. So I have 8 more years to go before that big push and explosion or whatever. It’s not that I am discouraged. I’m being realistic. But I’m patient.

DESCRIBE YOUR MUSIC USING ONLY VERBS
I keep wanting to say jumping but that’s so lame…but sure, let’s throw that one in there. Smiling…running…Wow…I’m just…I feel like I’m back in elementary school and there’s this quiz on verbs. I’ll give you one more. Think. Throw a smart one in there just to even out my stupidity. Jumping, smiling, running, think.

YOUEVER TRY TO WOO ANY GIRLS WITH YOUR MUSIC? ESPECIALLY AT 14, STARTING OUT?
I think one time I did and it doesn’t work out like it does in the movies…well, I think in an effort to woo a girl like 11 years ago I learned how to play Billy Joel’s “She’s got a way” on guitar. Nothing really happened there. All I got was the “aw, that’s so sweet!”

SO HOW DID YOU WOO THE GIRLS THEN?
Well, I dated the same girl starting in junior high all the way up though high school and then she broke my heart, which I actually have a song about her on my record that everyone loves.

WHICH SONG?
“How does it Feel.” I wrote some other ones for her that I never recorded and I remember she came over one time to try and get back together and I played it for her and left her in tears, which makes me sound really mean but when you get you’re heart broken at 17 it’s devastating. I mean, at any age it’s devastating but when you’re 17 you’re so much less immature.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE BIT LIKE THE JONAS BROTHERS. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
I usually hear that I look a little bit more like Bruce Springsteen…every time he is on TV I get at least 15 text messages with people saying “hey man you’re on TV!”

SO ARE YOU OKAY WITH LOOKING LIKE A JOBROS?
Not at all. I mean, I can’t really fight it if I do. But I’m not a fan

WHY NOT?
I’m going to plead the fifth amendment for the sake of not offending them, but I’m not a fan.
-Kelly McNoldy