Today is Day 9: as Misha describes various components of what makes Love Grows the ideal place to heal, restore and renew self and your relationships.

The perception many people have about self was superimposed on them by others. Perhaps parents, family members, religion, society, culture, etc. They have accepted this ‘version’ of self as a (1) universal truth and/or (2) permanent, one which they have no control over. This is evident when they say…

This is just how I am.

That’s who we are, we are a family of fighters.

Black people don’t do X.

Women can’t do Y.

Who are you when you remove other’s definition, limitations, fears, dreams, hopes, perspective, beliefs, etc? Who are you really?

Love Grows Sessions with Misha is a safe, inviting place where you can discover new aspects of self. A beautiful place to allow your heart to open and reconnect with it’s true self. A safe place to envision your true self and dream of ways you desire to evolve.

At Love Grows we focus on the power of words and teaching our clients how to become impeccable and intentional with their words.

You always have a choice as to how and which words to use at any given moment. Words have the power to:

strengthen or sabotage relationships

build or tear down someone

breathe life (love) or death (fear)

encourage or discourage

heal or wound

Especially important are the words you use to speak to yourself. You must become your strongest advocate, cheerleader, motivator, etc because you are with you 24/7.

Once you begin to use your words to strengthen, build up, breathe life, encourage and heal yourself you will experience a significant shift in the quality of your life, relationships and the frequency in which you operate. When you love self fully, you can love others better. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

There is a saying, ‘Time Heals’ but at Love Grows we do not subscribe to the mere passing of time as the elixir to healing emotional wounds.

Time + Concerted Action is required to heal emotionally as it is to heal physically and financially.

For example, if you sustain a physical injury, the passing of time alone will not heal the wound instead time + no action will result in: weak muscles, loss of full range of motion with each day you are not involved in some sort of rehabilitation. The passing of days without changing your spending and saving habits will not move you closer to becoming debt free.

The same is applicable to your emotional health. Time + Therapy is the most sustainable way to heal your emotional wounds.

Time alone does not heal your heart, there are very specific tools needed for this level of "heart work". Therapist are similar to any other professional. If you have an issue with:

⚠ Your car, you take it to the mechanic or dealership

⚠ Health - the appropriate health care provider

⚠ Finances - consult with an adviser

⚠ Hair – hairstylist, barber

⚠ Dietary – nutritionist

⚠ Fitness – trainer

There is no shame or stigma associated with seeking help from any of these professionals so why is emotional health different? Life is on the job training, where you are learning, implementing, revising and implementing again all in real time. Unfortunately, there is no trial run or a simulation version where you can practice and perfect everything before implementing. There are unexpected and emotionally painful experiences (i.e. death, divorce, miscarriages, conception challenges, job loss, abuse, etc) you may experience on your journey and despite what others may believe, you do not have to heal on your own. Seeking therapy does not bring into question your masculinity, strength or capacity, instead; to the contrary it proves the following:

❤ You have made your emotional health and healing a priority

❤ You know your well-being is worth the investment

❤ You are serious about healing and are taking the fastest route by partnering with a professional who has the tools & expertise

Do not allow archaic thinking to keep you from healing your emotional wounds. Seek a therapist. Make the investment. Do the work. Improve the quality of your life. We are here. Contact us today. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Although you may have forgiven someone, it is possible they have not forgiven you or their own emotional wounds serve as a block, hindering their ability to nurture the space (friendship, relationship).

This is evident by the 'emotional jabs' they inflict upon you. By inviting these individuals into your life, these 'emotional jabs' will exacerbate any of your residual wounds, prolonging the healing period. It is the equivalent to inviting them into your beautiful, clean, new house (symbol for forgiveness and new beginnings) and they enter with muddy construction boots, walk around your living room, plop down on your new sofa and then say,

'For a new place, it sure is dirty! What kind of person lives like this? Why can't you take care of stuff? By the way you keep your space, you aren't welcome in mine.'

Either they do not realize or refuse to be accountable that they are the one who brought in the mud. Never allow anyone to convince you their 'muck' is yours. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

One of the fastest ways to escalate (or in some cases create) an issue is to use technology to communicate instead of speaking in-person or via phone whenever our feelings are hurt, we are angry or not clear on something. I have definitely been guilty of having an ENTIRE conversation in my head (unbeknownst to the other party), jumping (Olympic high jump to be exact) to conclusions and then sending a barrage of text messages which results in the recipient looking at their phone and thinking WTF just happened???!!!! *sigh*

It is so easy to misread tone, humor, etc. via technology, especially if:

The relationship is new and both parties do not know each other’s humor or communication style,

You are unaware of your emotional triggers and/or

If you misread the message.

My recommendation is whenever you ‘feel some type of way’ follow these steps as a preventative damage control technique:

Immediately STEP AWAY FROM YOUR GADGET!

Ask yourself, ‘Do I think Person A is trying to intentionally hurt me?’ If No – possible misunderstanding; if Yes – why are you interacting with someone who you believe would intentionally hurt you?

Take a few moments (or an hour) to calm down

Call the person and say, ‘Hi. Are you available to chat about the most recent message you sent? I think I may have misinterpreted it.

The issue is when you respond from a wounded place, oftentimes you are in defense mode and this is where hurtful things are said and assumptions are made. Although your emotional wounds are a part of your journey, your emotional wounds cannot lead your journey for the wounded perspective is skewed and as a result your vision is obscured.

Healthy relationship consist of a space where both parties feel emotionally safe to have open honest conversations. Each exchange and experience is an opportunity to learn more about each other and self. Be extra gentle with each other in the beginning when you are co-creating a new ‘We’ space, there is so much to learn about each other. Remember this is a new space, he is not your Ex who broke your heart and she is not the woman who betrayed you. Clean slate. Beginnings. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS