Related

The tears still flow like a river as Donna Staddon recalls “that terrible day” 10 years ago today, when the “unimaginable happened — a parent’s worst fear.”

On February 1, 2003 Donna’s eldest daughter, Marissa, along with six of her classmates from Strathcona-Tweedsmuir School, perished on an outdoor education field trip, when a massive avalanche swept down a mountainside about five kilometres west of the Rogers Pass summit. The avalanche continued across the valley and then roared up onto the opposite slope where the school group was cross-country skiing.

Marissa was just 15 years old. Six of her classmates, Jeff Trickett, Daniel Arato, Michael Shaw, Scott Broshko, Alex Pattillo and Ben Albert, perished along with her.

Not a second of any day goes by when Donna, 56, doesn’t think of her beloved daughter, who was an accomplished figure skater, musician and student who “was even more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside.”

“When we received that call, my world was shaken and my heart was crushed,” recalls Donna. By we, she is referring to her then husband of 25 years, Karl, and their youngest daughter and Marissa’s best friend and sister, Brittany, who was just 13 at the time of the tragedy.

“Initially we were told of the incident, that there had been some deaths. However, they were not certain of Marissa’s status. We decided to drive to Revelstoke.”

Before they departed, Rev. Ray Matheson, a pastor at First Alliance Church, where Donna still attends, prayed with them in their home.

“I can vividly recall Pastor Ray’s words as he prayed. He said: ‘Marissa is alive, whether she is alive on Earth or in Heaven — Marissa is alive.’”

Donna says she “clung” onto those words, believing them to be true, since “Marissa had accepted Christ into her heart and was comfortable with sharing her faith and living it out.”

While on the road to Revelstoke, the distraught couple received the devastating news that Marissa was one of the seven teens who had died.

Through tears, Donna says she kept repeating the words, “Marissa is alive with her Saviour and He has kept her safe in His arms through this.”

Despite her strong faith and the very real sensation that God was with her and was physically holding her up, Donna says “the reality of not having Marissa to hold, to hug, to laugh and to joke with” hit her “like a big wave.”

“I knew Marissa wouldn’t be bounding through the door with her big smile. That was my new reality,” explains Donna from her home south of Calgary.

Despite the family’s unspeakable loss, Donna says some good has come out of this terrible tragedy that devastated all of Alberta and made news around the world. Besides developing a much closer relationship with God herself, Donna says other people have come to faith in the wake of Marissa’s death, including former Herald publisher Dan Gaynor, who has shared that very publicly, including at Calgary’s annual prayer breakfast, attended by hundreds of the city’s business leaders.

Just recently, Donna says she learned of another person whose life was changed for the better because they heard of Marissa’s faith during her funeral all those years ago.

Marissa, who was an accomplished pianist and competitive nationally ranked junior figure skater, had planned on becoming a doctor and a missionary and was already proficient at speaking Spanish. In honour of Marissa, Donna made a sizable donation towards a capital campaign at the Canadian Institute of Linguistics at Trinity Western University, establishing the Marissa Staddon Memorial Library in Langley, B.C.

Donna says her loss has helped her minister to those who have suffered the crushing loss of a child.

“I tell them that they don’t need to listen to the opinions or the wishes of others as to how they should be grieving and for how long. I tell them, ‘just let the rawness of the emotion come out.’ I urge them to seek counselling and mostly lay it all at God’s feet and to let Him care for them,” she says.

“I chose early on to trust God and not to lash out at the circumstances and the more I trust in Him, the more I know His unfailing love for me. That gives me hope and with hope has come renewed joy and peace and strength to live fully and with purpose.”

Donna says there was a time, however, when she wondered if she would ever feel happy again.

“I recall it was three years after Marissa died. I was planting flowers in the spring of 2006 and it dawned on me that I was really enjoying this. I felt joy, real joy and I was so very grateful.

“I will always miss Marissa and I will always profoundly feel that loss, but I do have a lot of joy in my life, so I want others to know, who have suffered huge loss, to know that happiness is possible again.”

And Donna says she gets much joy seeing the circle of life. Brittany, now 23, graduated from the University of Calgary with a biomedical sciences degree and recently moved to Canmore, where she owns and operates Brittany Esther Photography, specializing in wedding photography.

Donna also enjoys celebrating the milestones in Marissa’s friends’ lives — such as weddings and the birth of children.

Some people wonder if seeing Marissa’s contemporaries move on to live full lives is painful.

“Not at all,” says Donna. “I really do have joy in my heart to see their lives unfolding so well.”

Today, Donna will attend the honour assembly at Strathcona-Tweedsmuir school for the seven remarkable young people who died on that terrible day. As has been customary, a group of very good friends will gather around Donna and help her through the day.

“I will cry,” she says, weeping. “I know we all will. But for me, I take such comfort knowing that I will see Marissa again in heaven and we’ll be together forever.”

Comments

We encourage all readers to share their views on our articles and blog posts. We are committed to maintaining a lively but civil forum for discussion, so we ask you to avoid personal attacks, and please keep your comments relevant and respectful. If you encounter a comment that is abusive, click the "X" in the upper right corner of the comment box to report spam or abuse. We are using Facebook commenting. Visit our FAQ page for more information.

Almost Done!

Postmedia wants to improve your reading experience as well as share the best deals and promotions from our advertisers with you. The information below will be used to optimize the content and make ads across the network more relevant to you. You can always change the information you share with us by editing your profile.

By clicking "Create Account", I hearby grant permission to Postmedia to use my account information to create my account.

I also accept and agree to be bound by Postmedia's Terms and Conditions with respect to my use of the Site and I have read and understand Postmedia's Privacy Statement. I consent to the collection, use, maintenance, and disclosure of my information in accordance with the Postmedia's Privacy Policy.

Postmedia wants to improve your reading experience as well as share the best deals and promotions from our advertisers with you. The information below will be used to optimize the content and make ads across the network more relevant to you. You can always change the information you share with us by editing your profile.

By clicking "Create Account", I hearby grant permission to Postmedia to use my account information to create my account.

I also accept and agree to be bound by Postmedia's Terms and Conditions with respect to my use of the Site and I have read and understand Postmedia's Privacy Statement. I consent to the collection, use, maintenance, and disclosure of my information in accordance with the Postmedia's Privacy Policy.