Oliver: [Stan’s supposed to be pushing the car, but sits next to Oliver] Who’s pushing this thing?
Stan: Well, I forgot to tell ya, I borrowed a mule when we were stopped.
Oliver: Well, I guess a mule’s as good as donkey any day.

Oliver: We’re the only two man band in the world! Equal to Harry Miller, Tommy Dorsey and Spike Jones!

Oliver: Stanley, do you believe in love at first sight?
Stan: It certainly saves a lot of time!

Stanley: They could name their first baby Stanley.
Oliver: What’s wrong with Oliver?
Stanley: Stanley.
Oliver: Oliver!
Stanley: Stanley’s a nice name. They could have twins.
Oliver: We’ll suggest that to them.

Stan: My name is Potts — P-O-otts, Potts.
Oliver: [toasting] To the fairest flower in the garden of Southern womanhood!

Oliver: Mary Lou, Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

Oliver: Are you trying to bribe an officer of the law?

Stan: Not me! I’m not going to be a dame!
Stan: [in drag] Don’t mind the colonel, he grows on you.
Henry Corcoran: He won’t grow on me!

Stan: You know, Ollie, I was just thinking.
Oliver: About what?
Stan: Nothing; I was just thinking.

Oliver: We’re practically wrapped in concrete now!
Stan: At the bottom of the Mississippi.

Stan [in drag]: I’m one of those “nip and tuck” drinkers.
Henry Corcoran: What’s that, Miss Emily?
Stan: One nip and you can tuck me away for the night!

Gangster: Take these two Halloween masks down to the boiler room until I figure out what to do with them!
Oliver: You’re going to get a nasty letter from our lawyers for that Halloween crack!