Heavy Metal Monster

Pulgasari is a mythical giant monster ox thing that helps those in need of justice. (It’d be cool if he could be my legal counsel. I’m getting really tired of being told to just “throw myself on the mercy of the court.”)

A small farming Korean village in an old time-y century has been jacked for all their metal tools and dishes because a nearby king needs the iron to make plenty ’o weapons for his super big army. The farmers fight back and get pushed around by the warlord. Pulgasari to the rescue.

Fashioned from a wad of mystical rice and brought to life by the blood of a hot farmer’s daughter who doesn’t know the meaning of “one hung low,” the tiny beast gorges on metal and grows at a buffet-busting rate; When he reaches the height of 250 feet, it’s hammer time.

The best part is Pulgasari is made of metal and can’t be killed by conventional means (fire, avalanches, cruel taunts). Putting the iron in irony, the monster makes rice cakes out of the army, but has to keep eating metal in order to survive. The villagers are right back in the soup.

All things considered, the ending of the Korean-made Pulgasari (1985) has a nice twist that’ll bring tears to your eyes. Dry your leakings – Pulgasari would not want you to be sad for him.