Unadulterated joy, like chocolate sauce poured over ice cream

Algeria fans show scant regard for health and safety as they get busy celebrating. Photograph: Claude Paris/AP

BLINDED BY CAPELLO’S TRIPE

There have been plenty of wonderful celebrations at this World Cup – Robin van Persie’s Van Gaal high-five botch job, Colombia’s choreographed two-step, the mixture of elation and incredulity on John Brooks’ face after his later winner for USA! USA!! USA!!! against Ghana – but nothing can have matched the displays of pure unadulterated joy following Algeria’s knockout-round-reaching draw against Russia on Thursday. Thirty-two years of hurt came to an end thanks to Islam Slimani’s goal and perhaps the celebrations were so wild because mixed in with that pure unadulterated joy, like chocolate sauce poured over ice cream, was the prospect of what everyone in their heart-of-hearts knows is the only thing even better than pure unadulterated joy: revenge.

You see Germany await in the last 16 and 32 years ago Algeria were well and truly screwed by Die Mannschaft. Having beaten the West German side in one of the great World Cup shocks in the 1982 group stages, the Fennec Foxes awaited the final match of the group – West Germany v Austria – knowing that a big win for the Germans or a draw or win for the Austrians would be enough to see them through into the next stage. Instead the result in Gijon – a 1-0 win for West Germany in which, once the goal was scored, both teams showed all the attacking intent of a bowl of Alpen – conveniently enough took both Austria and West Germany through, dumping the Algerians out. It was a stitch-up. “We have not forgotten,” growled the Algeria coach Vahid Halihodzic yesterday evening. “Everyone is talking about Algeria-Germany from 1982.”

But Algeria’s World Cup campaign has not just been about joy and sweet, sweet revenge. It’s been about love too. “There is a lot of love for this team, even in Brazil,” said Halihodzic. “People here love our sincerity and our strength. Our behaviour has been irreproachable too: we have had only two or three yellow cards in all our games. There are better teams than us but we have earned a lot of affection in the world.”

While Algeria look to right the wrongs of the past, for Fabio Capello it could not have been more of a trip back in time had Doctor Emmett Brown been spotted in Brazil fretting about uranium and attempting to affix a flux capacitor to the back of the Italian’s head. His England side in 2010 are believed to have directly sparked the increase in turnout at that summer’s European Paint Drying and Grass Growing Convention and his Russia side this time around have matched all the vibrancy, creativity and joie de vivre of Matthew Upson and co four years ago.

There is, of course, one fairly crucial difference and Capello could be forgiven for pining for the days when a draw against Algeria – even in the most mind-meltingly dull fashion possible – was enough to help his team through to the knockout stages. And, whereas in 2010 the Italian could point to the lack of technology that denied England an equaliser against Germany in Bloemfontein, this time around he wanted to smash the Spinning Jenny, burn the Rolling Rosalind and destroy the Going-up-and-down-a-bit-and-then-moving-along Gertrude.

“He was blinded by the laser beam,” said Capello of his goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev’s seal impression that led to Slimani’s goal. “There are pictures. You can see that in the footage. This not an excuse, it is a fact. There was a laser. I have never come up with excuses to get by in my entire life.”

Still, at least he has been spared another humiliation at the hands of Jogi Löw’s side. Instead Algeria have their chance of revenge, and though it might not be served cold, with the game being played in the temperate climes of Porto Alegre it’s likely to at least be pleasantly cool.

OPTIMISTIC PUNT OF THE DAY

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“The Fifa sanction is shameful, they have no sensitivity towards the fans, they might as well handcuff him and throw him in Guantánamo. Suárez didn’t kill anyone. This is an unjust punishment, the act of an incredible mafia” – Diego Maradona, wearing a ‘Little Luis we are with you’ t-shirt, gives his two-penneth worth in the usual measured fashion.

O FIVERÃO LETTERS

“Nobody tells it like Hulk Hogan. His opinion on USA! USA!! USA!!! v Germany, in a single tweet, excited me more about a game than the global football media ever could. We need HH to promote football from now on. You can keep your Super Sundays! The Hulkster’s gonna pound the global football media to the ground, brother. Should the campaign start here? Please make this happen” – Grant McPhee.

“I ruefully, nay wistfully, nay poignantly noted Mr Reisman’s exhilarating epistle today about a Charlton player gracing this year’s World Cup (yesterday’s O Fiverão letters). As a Grimsby fan I know all about clutching at tiny straws with only a few relegations to celebrate in the last 15 years. Grimsby fans, though, had their moment in the World Cup sun last week when we excitedly realised that Jean-Daniel Akpa-Akpro, brother of former GTFC forward Jean-Louis, was on the bench for Ivory Coast” – Richard Dawson.

JOIN GUARDIAN SOULMATES

We keep trying to point out the utter futility of advertising an online dating service “for interesting people” to the naive folk who run Guardian Soulmates, but they still aren’t having any of it. So here you go – sign up here to view profiles of the kind of erudite, sociable and friendly romantics who would never dream of going out with you.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

BITS AND BOBS

Giorgio Chiellini has clambered up the highest ground he could find and spoken. “Inside me there’s no feelings of joy, revenge or anger against Suárez. My only thought is for Luis and his family, because they will face a very difficult period,” he said, sincerely. “I have always considered unequivocal the disciplinary interventions by the competent bodies, but at the same time I believe that the proposed formula is excessive.”