Primo -- When Bill Clinton was first elected in 1992, he was promising that all his picks for his cabinet and so on would be pro-choice. A lot of people, including me, applauded this. Then the political commentator for Playboy magazine pointed out something that I missed. All we knew about these people we were cheering was that they were pro-choice. We knew nothing else about them, not where they stood on other issues, not how they were willing to compromise, not what their backgrounds were, all we knew was they were pro-choice. Abortion rights was being used to distract from any other potential flaws, and it was working on people like me. It was an important lesson in politics -- just because someone has some characteristic you like, it does not necessarily mean they will be good at their job.

Secundo -- I'm reminded of Lewis Black, talking about former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura being elected governor of Minnesota -- "Jesse Ventura illustrates what is so great about America -- ANYONE can be elected to ANY office. Jesse Ventura illustrates what is wrong with America -- ANYONE can be elected to ANY office."

Which brings us to Herman Cain, who ran Mac Daddy's Godfather's Pizza. Here's the first thing you need to keep in mind --

Herman Cain is a SALESMAN.

He's not a politician. A lot of people are understandably sour on politicians, but that doesn't mean that anyone who isn't a politician is automatically a better choice.

Cain has basically run his campaign like a marketing campaign, getting people to talk for him. You think he'd know what happens when the product is not as advertised. His vagueness cost him the support of people like me -- Cain is now trying to explain 9-9-9 using comic strips. Given the intelligence he assumes people other than him have, I'm downright insulted by this, and I read and write comics. He was also in Sarasota, FL, two weeks ago (ironically, while I was there. Shit, there went my chance to really ruin my trip) where he gave a speech and refused to take any questions from anyone, press, supporter, or otherwise. And his personal problems are costing him the support of those who backed him up. And it's not helped by sarcastic jackasses on the Internet who put up images like...well, this.

Today, a woman named Ginger White is claiming that Cain had a 13 year affair with her, and only ended it shortly before he began his narcissistic campaign for president. Cain is denying, denying, denying. Well, sort of. Here's the damning part -- Cain is denying the affair, but his lawyer has issued a statement saying that the press -- and us voters -- have no business snooping in the personal business of two consenting adults. One of these two is off message....

When Clinton became President, his own staff referred to "bimbo eruptions" where some woman would claim she had an affair with him (the frequency combined with the timing of military invasions led some to wonder if the actions were meant to distract from the bimbo eruptions, and was the inspiration for the movie Wag The Dog). Cain seems ready to eclipse Clinton in that regard. It's not helping that Cain has lost 8 points in polls so far and is losing ground quickly. Less than a month ago, he was polling #1 in Iowa. He's not even in the running in New Hampshire (watch NH closely. Romney has it won because of his proximity. But watch who finishes second. Ron Paul is actually within the margin of error and could get it).

Cain's biggest problem is that he wants to run his campaign his way, not the way others want. That means, when they have questions about his fiscal plans or his background, they should shut up and vote for the image he presents. In other words, he's a public candidate who doesn't want to be held accountable by the public.