A cat taped to a saw and cell phone marks an all-time high for prisoner ingenuity and an all-time low for kitties everywhere.

Face it cats, you're good at a lot of things-purring, sleeping, haughtiness, and even keyboards-but deftly breaking hardened criminals out of Brazilian prisons without getting apprehended in the process? Sorry my little feline friends, but I'm afraid not. One such South American cat recently learned that sad truth the hard way when arrested for attempting to smuggle a saw and cell phone past the gates of an Arapiraca prison by innocuously carrying them on its back with tape.

Yes, an ordinary white house cat was found nonchalantly walking toward the cell block taped to not only a saw and cell phone, but also multiple drills, some batteries, a memory card, an earphone and, of course, a wall charger for the aforementioned cell phone.

Currently, all 263 prisoners of Arapiraca are considered suspects in the case, though progress toward nabbing the purrpetrator has been slow. "It's tough to find out who's responsible for the action," explained a prison spokesperson soon after detaining the fluffy smuggler, "as the cat doesn't speak."

While there is zero scientific evidence ruling out the cat itself as the mastermind behind Operation Tape Saw, the prison guards saw fit to pamper it anyway, quickly sending it to an animal disease center for medical treatment.

I don't know whether to be more amused at such an elaborate and ingenious way to escape prison, or horrified at the thought of getting the tape off the cat. I'm a wuss with bandages, so I couldn't even imagine.

Really though, whoever decided to tape these things to the cat needs to get smacked with a bullet.

I can get behind that sentiment quite easily. Although just removing that getup from the cat would likely be as traumatic for the recipient of the kit as it would be for the cat.

"Prisoner found dead today in Rio after having his throat ripped out by common house cat after prisoner attempted to remove tape packed items from cats midsection."

Man, I have seen a kitten get itself wrapped up in scotch tape one fateful week before christmas while packing presents, I cant even imagine the horror that this cat underwent.

Though as a bonus we got the tape off the cat with surprising ease, one friend holding the kitten while I used an exacto knife very carefully to trim the fur away from the tape a bit at a time an hour later and no damage to feline friend and hair cut to boot!

I'm not sure if i should laugh at this or not, still it definitely thinking out side the box, and at least who ever is behind the attempted break out doesn't have to worry about the cat 'ratting them out' :D

Tiger Sora:It bothered me when I saw this on reddit the way he was holding the cat. And it still bothers me.Also just found out I can type without looking, albeit slow and with much correction.

That is generally how you want to hold a feline when you dont know what its deal is.

You can support the cat very well with its front and back legs in hand. If you notice there is a second man holding its hind legs up, and the first man isnt choking the cat, he has his hand around the back of its neck so it cant turn and bite him.

Really though, whoever decided to tape these things to the cat needs to get smacked with a bullet.

I can get behind that sentiment quite easily. Although just removing that getup from the cat would likely be as traumatic for the recipient of the kit as it would be for the cat.

"Prisoner found dead today in Rio after having his throat ripped out by common house cat after prisoner attempted to remove tape packed items from cats midsection."

Man, I have seen a kitten get itself wrapped up in scotch tape one fateful week before christmas while packing presents, I cant even imagine the horror that this cat underwent.

Though as a bonus we got the tape off the cat with surprising ease, one friend holding the kitten while I used an exacto knife very carefully to trim the fur away from the tape a bit at a time an hour later and no damage to feline friend and hair cut to boot!

Same cant be said for my previous cat. One he got a piece of tape stuck to his paw. He tried to lick it off, it was now also stuck to his face.

Things kind of degenerated from there. Especially when my sister thought it would be a good idea to add more tape.

And for the record, he died of bowel cancer a few years later, not of ballistic rage due to tape.

I can't help but feel this is unrelated to the Escapist. But whatever, I'll play...

Even if it was a cat, how did they expect the cat to just prance around all the way to a cell without it being noticed? How did the cat know where to go? Why not use several rats? Rats in a prison sound more plausible.Poor cat, though. PETA should be all over stuff like this, not Mario and its furry outfit.

Well, give them credit for the idea at least. Surprised the guy even got the tape on the cat in the first place 0-0

Tiger Sora:It bothered me when I saw this on reddit the way he was holding the cat. And it still bothers me.

Same picture as here? It's honestly not that bad. Mind you not IDEAL, but not that bad for people who (most likely) don't know how to restrain cats. I've seen worse. Cat isn't being strangled, legs are being restrained, and there is another person. Odds are they held the cat like that temporarily to show the body. I'm a vet tech and sometimes people think some safe and commonly used techniques and devices are cruel. It's not unusual to grab the legs (he's a bit too low and perhaps could give more support), scruff, or cup the head.

Beautiful End:I can't help but feel this is unrelated to the Escapist. But whatever, I'll play...

Even if it was a cat, how did they expect the cat to just prance around all the way to a cell without it being noticed? How did the cat know where to go? Why not use several rats? Rats in a prison sound more plausible.Poor cat, though. PETA should be all over stuff like this, not Mario and its furry outfit.

There ya go. Now I made it relevant to the Escapist.

why? both are involved in some kind of Escapism.

i bet the cat just thought 'tape on my fur? fuck this. i am going straight for the warden'

Fappy:My brothers are well trained. The humans still don't not suspect we can speak their language.

Fappy, I've been aware your feline brethren can talk for a VERY long time. I'm also aware cats can turn into Ninja's.Then again, I've been alive since the founding of the roman empire and your feline kin were practically leading the egyptians back then. I see feline overconfidence hasn't changed much...but at-least you lot aren't in politics anymore, especially after the stuff you pulled in tutankhamuns reign.

What I want to know is how they got it in on in the first place...the cat HAD to be sedated. I've had some mellow cats, but never before have I had a cat mellow enough to let you wrap it's midriff in tape.

Poor kitty, he looks a little malnourished and I bet he was scared...you know he didn't plan it all, someone had some dirt on him, or he had to do it or they would have killed him. Thankfully his life of crime has been stopped before it even started.

What an incredible, somewhat tragic, but oddest story I have heard yet.

A cat sneaking into a prison to give the prisoner the tools he needs to escape. Wonder how long he trained the cat for, or how it knew where to go. Creative plan.. except the fact it's easy to spot cats especially if they have tap strapped to it with multiple kits and tools on it. Hopefully the cat turns out alright, I worry about the felines when treated poorly (and for the sake of other animals too.)