Mom, I'm gay

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.

He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you, I'm gay."

His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay... doesn't that mean you put
other men's penises in your mouth?"

The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."

His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said,

Roger Baldwin,Founder of the ACLU: "We are for Socialism,disarmament and ultimately for abolishing the State itself...we seek the social ownership of property...and the sole control of those who produce wealth.Communism is the goal."

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"The way of the warrior is death, this means choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death. It means nothing more than this, it means to see things through, being resolved."---Yamamoto Tsunemoto's Hagakure

Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her
mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate
was.

She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only
made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two women
interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Heather
and the roommate than met the eye. Reading her mom's thoughts,
Heather volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I
assure you, Suzy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Suzy came to Heather and said, "Ever since
your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Heather said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just
to be sure." So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not
saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not
saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Heather received a letter from her mother
which read: "Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep
with Suzy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Suzy.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she
would have found the gravy ladle by now."

Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her
mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate
was.

She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only
made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two women
interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Heather
and the roommate than met the eye. Reading her mom's thoughts,
Heather volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I
assure you, Suzy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Suzy came to Heather and said, "Ever since
your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Heather said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just
to be sure." So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not
saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not
saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Heather received a letter from her mother
which read: "Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep
with Suzy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Suzy.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she
would have found the gravy ladle by now."