Sex, Lies and Proposition 8

I know I’m late to the party but on the eve of the election and with the strong possibility that Proposition 8 here in California will remove the right to marry whom I may wish to marry (something I never considered possible and merely accepted as another impossibility because I am gay and therefore less fortunate in terms of rights than others who pay taxes just like I do) I would just like to point out a few things to anyone considering voting in favor of Prop. 8 because you’re scared that allowing us gays to marry will ruin civilization forever and make children into monstrous sexual deviants.

A domestic partnership is not the same as marriage. If it is the same as marriage, I would like to propose that we do away with marriage entirely and only have domestic partnerships. Now, feel the same way about domestic partnerships?

I am not in a “lifestyle choice.” I am gay. Choice had no point in my life, and if there was a choice it came very late in life and it was to finally like myself and stop believing I was the horrible person others believed me to be.

A yes vote on Prop. 8 removes rights, it doesn’t define them.

I don’t think this has anything to do with race or the fact that California used to deny other people the right to marriage based on skin color. This is about me and my rights, and the desire by some to strip me of them. Because I am gay.

Maybe your yes vote doesn’t mean you hate me. It only feels that way to me.

It’s weird to me that this is happening at all. I never would have believed there would ever be a question about equal rights for homosexuals on a state ballot during my lifetime. I always sort of expected and accepted that I would forever be a second-class citizen because I came out of the closet at last and managed at last to accept myself, never believing that everyone/anyone else would.

But here we are. And here it is.

Please, if anything I ever wrote, said, made or designed had a positive effect on you or someone you know, if you know anyone else who is gay, or if you understand that everyone should be treated the same way when it comes to questions of love and happiness, vote no tomorrow on Proposition 8.

4 responses to Sex, Lies and Proposition 8

If Prop 8 passes tomorrow, you, your man, and all your friends are welcome in Massachusetts. We could use an influx of smart, talented, and sexy men and women regardless of who you are. Come for the rights, stay for the tax base. <3

Sorry, Lance. I don’t understand it, but gay marriage is a huge issue for most Americans. In my state we’ve actually passed a constitutional amendment forbidding it. It’s not enough to say it’s “not legal”, like they do with marijuana when the distinction between “decriminalization” and “legalization” comes up. Straight Americans want gays to know that they are so very different and excluded.
I just don’t know why straights care. Gay marriage does not somehow invalidate straight marriages, does it? If a law allowing gay marriages was passed with no media coverage, would straight couples even know? Would their lives be somehow affected by homosexual matrimony that they would be able to detect it in their everyday lives? Maybe the milk in their refrigerators would instantly sour or something? I don’t know.
At least I could wrap my head around the whole abortion issue. It’s literally a question of life and death, so that’s kind of important regardless of which side of the fence you fall on. But gay marriage… its legalization could mean so much to so many. It could make thousands or even millions of people happy with absolutely no negative consequences that I can tell. But this is the issue — not the war, not the economy, not homelessness or poverty, not torture — gay marriage is the issue that people are putting their foot down for and saying, “No, not this. This we will not tolerate.”
On behalf of straight Americans who don’t care what you call it when you make a commitment, I am so sorry.

I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and I’ve had quite a few laughs at some of the things you’ve written, but this time I’m glad to say I enjoyed reading your thoughts just as much and no laughter was necessary. I also recently blogged about this, because though I’m not in California, this is still a issue that means a lot to me. It’s so frustrating that these people can actively campaign against equal rights, and see it as doing the world a favor by “protecting marriage”. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Lance.

I’m in a state of shock over the passing of Prop 8, and it sours the whole happy-happy-joy-joy of Obama winning the election. Especially the fact that Obama opposes gay marriage – it makes me feel like there is something sinister about the guy that we are all missing.
It is so sad that people feel so threatened by something that, as Scott said, does not affect them in the least. And it is so sad that love can be legislated.