Friday, March 20, 2015

The Tough Rollercoaster Rides

It’s a good thing it is extremely busy here : from getting all the clubs ready and out the door to prepping, dyeing and packing the latest Outlander adventure and getting all kinds of fibres and yarns ready for the weekly update. It is not busy, it is madness …It does keep me going in a straight line and keeps my mind off some of the tough and extremely difficult things that other wise would do my head in and make my life miserable.

I am not saying that I am the “ just shove it under the carpet” kind of people, I do deal with the hard stuff , but for the really hard stuff, no matter how you “deal “ with it, it never really goes away and every so often, somebody or something puts that dreaded obstacle in your way , for you to hit your head on or say something that makes your heart sink. Sometimes the hard stuff just never goes away….and sometimes days are easier and sometimes they are tougher ….

I have come across a lot of stories and messages and articles lately that make clear that I am not the only one struggling with this. What is this about you say? Well, let me just come straight out with it: it is being childless….it is a very very tough one , especially for a happy Friday night, but it needs to be brought out in the open. I have been on the receiving end of so many horrible insensitive questions and I am not the only one. And it is time this stops. Unlike what the media and society in general wants you to believe, it is not that easy to have kids.

I have experienced that first hand , when after 9 miscarriages and then being plunged into the fun path of uterine cancer with all its treatments, the possibility to ever create a baby disappeared like snow on a hot day.

I still remember at one of the fibre events I did , three months after I had all my reproductive organs ripped out and cancer treatments plunged me into surgical menopause , some woman I had never seen before asked me “ How many kids do you have?” to which I sweetly replied “ eh..eh…none” , trying not to break down completely and cry my eyes out, she had the audacity to respond “ aha! I understand now ! That is why you can dye and spin and weave so much ! ha.. “ and she walked off in a huff…!! To this day I still remember that conversation to the letter and ..I still want to punch that woman in the face….(I have to add: I am not a violent person!! Really ! lol)

And still, people never stop asking me “why don’t you have kids”, or “ how many kids do you have?” or assuming that my family automatically consists of children. It is heart breaking and automatically pushes me off the cliffs of despair. I did answer once or twice in a bitchy voice “No! I had cancer and that was the end of it, thank you very much and have a nice day!” but then they just stare at me blankly and turn away, either not knowing what to say in shame or –in most cases- it just does not sink in how much their questions are hurting. Just today I saw a very humourous way to respond by a friend of a friend:
Conversation can be as follows:
"Why don't you have kids yet? "
"I have three children."
"Do you, can I meet them , what are their names?"
"No, you cannot meet them. They are.., far away."
"With their grandmother?"
"I don't know what that word means. No, they are not with a human."
"Then, umn..."
"One day, you will be in the space they inhabit. Wait. You will meet the flesh of my flesh. I shall be glad of it."
"Ok, well, I've..."
"Do you have children? Are they baptised? Are they afraid of the dark? Do you think they'd miss their hair? "

Two or three conversations like that, no one is asking nuffing…….”

LOL..thanks for the laugh Christian R. I hope I can be strong enough to reply to anybody like that in the future, but I will start carrying photos of aliens in my wallet just to be on the safe side ..NanuNanu ….

So, no, it is not okay to ask anybody when or how or how many kids they have …it is hurtful..also it is not okay to suggest that any couple not having kids does not count as a family.
Childless families already are left out of so much and, it does not stop when you hit 40. First you were hit over the head with “do you have any kids?” and then there’s the time that you have to “explain” yourself again “How many grandkids do you have”……it is a never ending torturous rollercoaster ride.

Even when you are not being asked questions, when you are female, in a certain “fertile” age bracket and active on the internet, you get these fun questionnaires and ads to participate in, like “how many kids will you have? Take this test and find out!” …having children is not a given. Being a female is not the guarantee that you will have children. If in doubt, please read the following article here: http://www.shebudgets.com/lifestyle/things-never-say-couples-without-children

On the positive side: I have been so busy creating fluffy stuff it will knock your socks off…lol…For this weeks update something so soft and lush it might be deemed illegal…: Cashmere fling ! Here are some nice flings for you to have on the weekend ! Have a wonderful time creating and having fun !

Enjoy todays update ! And, don't forget: the club sign ups will close in about a week or until the quota are reached and it is getting closer and closer.
Just message me on Ravelry or facebook or email me to place your order.
Have a wonderful weekend and happy spinning and creating !
Big hugs
Charly

New IxCHeL Club sign ups Open now (til quotas are reached or until March 31st)

Clubs April, May and June 2015 !

For all our international club fans there is a possibility to ship all three clubs together to save on postage if you want :-) Just pm me and enquire about the options available.

IxCHeL Fibre Club
April, May and June

The subscription is for a period of three months and you will receive one special hand dyed top/roving per month to the value of AU$24

All the tops will be hand dyed and will be especially made for the members of Ixchel Fibre Club !
Price to join the IxCHel Fibre Club #24 and receive your special hand dyed top :)) for three months (April, May and June 2015) is AU$72 + postage (parcel post or airmail). AND there are good value double serves available !!!

If you want to receive a fibre surprise every month then join the IXCHEL FIBRE CLUB #24 now. Numbers are strictly limited ! The April 2015 Club is going to be shipped out end of April. Payment via direct deposit or credit card or paypal. Just PM or email me your details

The IxCHeL Sock Yarn Club
April, May and June 2015

Every month for three months (April, May and June 2015) you will receive: enough hand dyed luscious yummy yarn to make a pair of socks or a lush shawl or scarf ofcourse! (the hand dyed yarn will be exclusive for the Ixchelbunny SOCK-IT-TO-ME Yarn CLUB and will range from a sockweight yarn or a 3ply or a 4 ply); Every month a new sock pattern, tips and instructions ! Now is that GOOD or is that GOOD ??!

I will even offer a double serve for those of you who like their socks extra long

By the way: you don’t HAVE to knit socks if you don’t want to.. the hand dyed yarn is amazingly nice for scarves, cowls, beanies and even tops ! Anything goes .

IxCHeL Funky Bunny Batt Club April, May and June 2015

Here are all the details and just pm me when you have any questions or want to be part of the funky bunny batt club Movement ;-) Welcome to the blingy dark side ;-D

The subscription is for a period of three months and you will receive one special hand dyed funky bunny batt per month to the value of AU$40 or more .

The batts will range in weight from 140grams to 180grams with luxury fibres like camel , angora, cashmere, silk, yak, llama even wolf and bison and rare sheep breeds !!!! All the batts will be hand dyed and will be especially made for the members of Ixchel funky bunny Club ! Every month you will receive a HUGE luxury funky bunny batt !

Sign up now and you will receive an Ixchel Hand dyed , super luxurious funky bunny batt for April , May and June 2015.

Price to join the Ixchel Funky bunny for three months is :

For Australia : $105+$28 postage (parcel post)

For USA + Canada: AU$105+AU$51 (Airmail)

For UK,Europe, rest of the world: AU$96+AU$60 (airmail)

For Asia: AU$105+AU$45 (airmail)

If you want to receive a fibre surprise every month then join the IXCHEL FUNKY BUNNY BATT CLUB now. Numbers are strictly limited ! The first installment is going to be shipped out end of April :) Payment via direct deposit or credit card or paypal. Just PM or email me

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if you have any questions okay? Always happy to enable. All my contact details are to be found at the end of this weeks blog entry. Have fun !!!

Dates to put in your Calendar !!

March

April

Saturday 11th April 10am-3pm

McClelland Spinners and Weavers Open day “sock it to me”

I will be there with lots of hand dyed tops for spinning and felting and happy rainbow yarn and sock yarn !!!! As well as some amazing Lair of the Bearded Dragon spindles and bowls that are pure magic to spin on !

May

Saturday 23rd, 10am-4pm

Victorian Hand Knitters Guild Show
Coburg Town Hall

THE extra ordinary super fluffy yarny event in Melbourne !!!
I will be there with lots of hand dyed tops for spinning and felting and happy rainbow yarn and sock yarn, some extra special art yarns and much much more!!!! As well as some amazing Lair of the Bearded Dragon spindles and bowls that are pure magic to spin on !

JULY

Friday July 17th- Sunday 19th, 9am-5pm

Bendigo Sheep and Wool Show

THE event of the year !!!! Not to be missed!! I will be there in the Flower (Power Bunny) Shed again with heaps of new goodies, hand dyed and hand spun, IxCHeL new blends and rare sheep breed adventures and much much more ! Including a world first of something AMAZING AND FUN!!!!! Shhh not telling ! but it is AWESOME !!!!

No comments:

Ixchel is an Australian Fibre Farm in the Yarra Valley in Victoria, breeding their own fluffy animals pesticide free and organic. Charly McCafferty (Ixchel Bunny) does all the spinning, dyeing, knitting and weaving and loving every second of it: Angora Rabbit, Cashmere, Mohair, Merino, Alpaca, Camel or even Yak.Paul McCafferty is constantly juggling work on the fibre farm and is the brain behind making all the animal housing and organising the farm harmoneously.
Email:Ixchel@rabbit.com.au

About Me

Email: ixchelbunny@yahoo.com.au
.
Born in the Netherlands, part Dutch and Native American, brought up in Europe, Canada ,the States and Latin America and now living in Australia, I see myself as a world citizen enjoying every moment that this life is giving me. Having such a diverse background I feel very priviledged on how it makes my art (be it paintings or wearable art) so universal and yet so special.