Global Domination

Wednesday, April 20

This was the last day of my pencillin supply and my tonsilitis didn't seem to be going away. I'd had to cancel two gigs for this disorder and it felt like it was here to stay. I took the opportunity to get myself a Doctor's appointment (they had one, conveniently, for the next day) in order to see what further advice I could get on solving my hurty throat.

Somehow, I don't know how, I discovered this curious "there's a new pope" merchandise. It made me laugh. Brilliant.

Over the last few months, I've noticed someone at work who has been steadily gaining weight. They were never slim, but they have become quite-uncomfortably-lookingly fat. I saw this person again today as I was headed to the chocolate machine. Their new-found portliness made me feel slightly put off. Indeed, I gave the machine a miss. I couldn't face it. I wish people would hide their fat asses.

Actually, I wish I could control my own. I accidentally ordered a Domino's pizza tonight. It wasn't my fault. There is, obviously, a rule that states that if you are ill then everything you eat is good for you and you should eat what you want. I rather wanted Domino's. Not only that, but surely it doesn't count if you don't actually ask for it? I went online to www.dominos.co.uk, tapped in my postcode and just happened to click on what I wanted. I put in my credit card details and then a screen said I should relax and that I'd get a pizza delivered. Probably sooner than I'd expect. I immediately listened for the knock of the door, but it wasn't that soon. However, I hadn't spoken to anyone about pizza, so perhaps it wasn't really going to happen. After about 20 minutes further work on the computer, there was a knock at the door and this man just gave me a pizza. He came to my door and gave me a pizza. Just like that. I hadn't spoken to anyone. It was like magic. He gave me a pizza, AND... a garlic bread. Brilliant.

I ate the pizza watching an Al Murray DVD. I only managed to watch the first two-thirds as I ran out of pizza.

Possibly the biggest news of the day involved this year's Fringe. I was asked my a colleague in the comedy fraternity whether I'd be able to help out with setting up their Fringe show. It came down to capital, rather than any creative input on my part. I discussed the mechanics of how to run the budget for a show like this and we agreed a way of calculating profits and such like. I decided to profide a modest investment and a modest loan to help make this show a reality. I'm not a big businessman, but I happened to have the means to make this show possible. It could turn out to be a big hit of the Fringe. If so, then I'll get my money back!