Trying To Wade Thru This Thing Called Life

Thursday night Jeff and I went to visit some friends we haven’t seen in a long time. I ended up getting drunk but that’s way beyond what I have to say. See, what the guys don’t realize is that when they keep us apart for very long it takes a lot of talking and drinking to get us caught up.

We were discussing Chuck and one thing led to another. She brought up again her choice to not have children. Which led to all the shit she catches for her choice. She is always told she is selfish for not having children.

I have also read a few blogs where women or men catch it for deciding parenting isn’t the right path for them.

I really need clarification on this selfish thing. How is it selfish to realize before you have children that you are not “mommy material”?

I think the least selfish thing a woman can do is recognize she is just not cut out for it before she has them. Look at how much damage people do to their children after they have them and realize “Oh shit! I have to give up way to much to take care of you!”

There are way too many women out there that want to have children but can’t. There are also way to many women out there that mass procreate when they shouldn’t have been allowed to have them in the first place. We end up with beaten and neglected children.

I, for one, just want to say thank you to all you “selfish” women out there that have decided to not bring children into the world that you know you just don’t want. Please do not ever buy into the the bullshit you hear about having to have children. The only thing you have to do is live your life on your own terms and to hell with what every one else thinks.

I grew up in a family where women were supposed to stay home, barefoot and pregnant.. take care of the kids and their man.

I have nothing against women who do that, IF it is truly what they want.

I knew when I was a child that was not the life for me.

My dad was physically abusive – and my mom has been mentally and emotionally abusive – my needs at times were neglected by both parents.

I did not want to have children and raise them that type of environment – and I had enough sense to know that I wasn’t ready for that responsibility. I hadn’t even got help for myself.

Now I’ve gotten help – but I still do not regret my choice.

I think it’s awesome that you can see that this is ok.

I have had “friends” even family try to pressure me into having kids. My mom cried “what will I do for grandchildren?”

Funny – she has 3 other kids and ended up with 10 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. I don’t think she needed my help.

On December 8, 2008 at 7:06 pm Undomesticated said:

I don’t think I will ever understand the mentality of people where this is concerned. It is no one’s business, including family, whether you have children or not.I think recognizing you are not cut out to have children is one of the least selfish things you could possibly do!