About Mr. Claus, or How to Tell When Someone is Bullshitting You About X-Mess

Santa is a cognate of the baby Jebus. Each Christmas, children are asked what they want from Santa, who can be all over the world in three billion nursery rooms almost at the same time every 25th of December, which, coincidentally, happens to be the baby Jebus's birthday, too. In other words, If you believe in me, I will bring you toys. (Some guys today believe that if they only believe in him, Santa will leave them 72 table dancers.) I may be an atheist today for figuring out the Santa con game fairly young. It took a bit longer to shake the other guy. I think it was the year Santa left me a pawn shop 8mm camera when I had asked for a new Swiss Bolex.