This is one from my hard drive I forgot I had. I don't think it's a repost. I found it originally on a now-defunct mailing list devoted to conspiracy theories, a few years back.

If you'll allow me, I'll be the first to call bullshit. There was a lot of junk on that list, and this guy is probably typical of the whack-jobs who posted to it. But, it is on-topic and has a small possibility of being true, so here goes...

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OK, I have one not posted before. Everything is true, from what I was told by people I know I trust. You all saw the report this week about the new nursing figures (I live in England), how their up from last year. I know why.

I have two sisters one whose a nurse, one whose in market research. Their both in there 20s and this is what they told me.

The nurse one likes being a nurse but in England a load of nurses have been quiting there jobs for years and theres a nurses shortage in the country as a result and the government desparately wants to figure out ways to get the nurses to stay nurses.

A few years ago the one whose in market research's company was hired by the government to do focus groups and studies of quiting nurses to find out why they were all quiting and what could be done to prevent it from continuning to happen.

They were suppose to ask questions like a) why did you quit b) did you not get paid enough c) did you not like the hours etc etc etc.

The one whose in market research (I'll call her Alison) did this for a couple weeks and wasn't really getting anywhere, then the one whose actually a nurse said to her “You should ask about the perks of the job that they thought they got that they didnt get, like getting to see loads of naked blokes.”

Alison though my other sister (I'll call her Barbara) was joking at first but then Barbara was like “No really, I know girls who said they would of stuck around if they got to see loads of naked blokes like they thought they would when they started.”

It turns out that in the politicly correct 1980s and with all the fear of being sued in the 1990s all these new rules were brought in about nakedness and touching patients and so on. So female nurses couldn't bed bath or shave male patients who could do it themselves and had to cover them up when they were naked and couldn't be around when they showered and stuff.

A lot of the older nurses said that before all that stuff, mens nudity was not considerered something to be avoided, and that they would bed bath almost every bed ridden male patient even if they could do it themself if the patient was goodlooking enough or if his penis was big. And they said they could supervise showers if the patient was fit enough to shower themself but still a bit weak so they might fall over or something. It was all anonimous, so the nurses didn't mind saying this to my sister.

So Alison goes to her boss at the company and says “Can we ask those questions” and her boss (also a woman I might add) umms and ahhs for a bit and eventually says “Yeah fuck it why not, the government is desparate for answers”.

So Alison starts asking quiting nurses that question in the focus groups and interviews and so on. She pretends like she's kidding around at first but when some of the nurses are like “Yes, well, that would be nice reason to stay” she starts thinking she might be onto something.

Now I'm not going to pretend that it was all the nurses or even the majority of the nurses who said this. It was probly only 10 percent or 20 percent or something but the government really wanted to get more nurses to stay nurses and 10 percent of a lot is a lot.

So it wasn't too loong after Alison finished her focus group survey, that same year probly, that Barbara turned up and said that some of the old rules had started to be relaxed.

Now Barbaras married and not looking to fuck around or anything but she said that some of the rules about how to treat patients of the other sex were being relaxed, only for female nurses mind not men ones, and that it was making the job a bit more exciting for the younger nurses and the older nurses too.

She said she'd been at a meeting where this embarrassed looking NHS mangement guy had said “Section 32b of the handbook is no longer enforced” (not the real section. I don't remember what section it was) and most of the nurses had shrugged and said “Whatever” thinking it was just more management bullshit and it was only later that they remember that Section 32b was the section of the handbook that dealt with patients modesty.

The government and NHS really tried to play it down and make it low-key but when the nurses figured it out they were well happy and started changing how they do business. It's never been in the papers, but I guarantee its true.

Barbara said that on the first day after all the nurses figured the section out, one of the younger girls she was friends with said they should shave this bloke who was in for his appendix out. Now normally this guy would be healthy enough to shave himself (they have to shave the belly and pubes before the operation) but he was a fit bloke and this girl thought it would be a laugh to shave him.

So the two of them told this bloke who was in his 30s that they had to shave him and it was procedure so he didn't accidently hurt himself doing it himself. Barbara said he was dead embarrassed but seemed a bit excited too, specially when they started shaving around his penis and Barbara's friend (not Barbara! Oh no. Hah! Another conspiracy had to gently take hold of his cock and move it out of the way (I asked if they used gloves and they did not).

She said they were all giggling about it in the tea room after. It started to be competition after a bit. The nurses would all make bets about stuff they could do with the patient and they would always do it in pairs so the other one could tell whether they'd won the bet or not.

Like one time Barbara said that they went for weeks trying to see who could pull back the most forskins when they were giving bed baths or shavings and make it look accidental. She said it was quite easy when you get the hang of it, you just grab slightly below the bell and pull back gently when you're moving it and it just pops out mostly and the guy doesn't notice.

Another one was when they'd try to see how many women nurses they could get into a bathroom while a guy was taking a shower with valid excuses for being there (or excuses that sounded valid anyway). One nurse would take a bloke who was ill but not that ill to the shower and supervise them while they showered, and other nurses would have to come in an say “Oh I'm just here for some towels” or something and then see how long they could stay there by making conversation with the naked guy or the nurse. It was easy because in that hospital some storage was in the bathroom.

What really surprised me was that Barbara said even though it was the younger ones who'd been quiting mostly, it was the older ones who seemed to enjoy the new perks more. I suppose if your young you don't care for older naked guys but if your older you get to enjoy the young ones and the old ones.

It seemed to work anyway. Nursing numbers are up according to the government but they still get paid the same shit they did before and still work stupid hours and so forth. Barbara says it's probably all down to the new rules and I believe she might be right.

Interesting post. I don't know any nurses, so can't cite any evidence myself. As far as shaving experiences in the UK are concerned, I'll mention two with dates. Whether these show any change I can't say. BTW, what was the date of this post? Sounds fairly recent.

1982: hernia op, private hospital. I was handed a razor by the nurse and told to shave off my pubes myself -- no suggestion that she would help, although I guess if I'd been into cfnm I might have made up some (flimsy) reason why I couldn't.

1997: varicose veins surgery, private hospital (veins are removed via an incision in the groin under the ball sack --pireneum?). No shaving before op, which I thought was strange. Wheeled into the op prep room, found one female, one male attendant; received the anesthetic from one of them, lost consciousness, and when I woke up back in my room, discovered that my pubes and balls had been shaved, so obviously done after I was out but before the op.

I wonder if it would have been different in an NHS hospital or whether it is now different if this "rules relaxation" is correct?

Thank you for the post. The result surprises me. I had thought nurses were indifferent to nudity. My wife is a nurse, male nudity doesn't interest her. What makes sense to me about the post is the supposition that 10% of the nurses respond positively. I find that believable. I remember vividly one of my wife's friends decrying that there were no males on her floor. Obviously if male nudity meant nothing to her she would not have made that statement. My experience with women is that they are all over the place in their sexual reactions. That is what makes them so difficult to understand. You just never know how they are going to react.

In the 1950s I spent one night in a provincial English hospital for observation after getting a concussion at school. I was put in the men's ward which was mainly full of old men. There were no screens around the beds. Opposite my bed was a young man with a bandage on one arm and hand. A matron arrived with a group of nursing students in their late teens. Matron said they were to learn how to give a bed bath and gathered around the bed of the young man. I pretended to be asleep as the Matron helped the man remove the top of his pajamas. She then washed the man's upper body and had one of the girls help her.

It was difficult to see what was going on because (a) the girls were gathered around and (b) my eyes were mostly closed as I pretended to sleep. But I could hear what went on very clearly. The Matron had two girls remove the man's pajama bottoms as they prepared to wash his lower body. I heard some giggling from the girls and the Matron scolding them to keep quiet. The man had developed an erection. Matron, assisted by the students continued with the bath and instructed one girl to retract the patient's foreskin. More giggling and more scolding. I heard Matron tell the girls to be very careful and gentle when washing male genitals because they were sensitive and did not want the patient to "have an accident" which i took mean ejaculate.

After about twenty minutes the patient was dried off and his pajamas put back on him. As they moved off I heard one student nurse say. "He's rather nice looking" and another reply "Matron doesn't wash any ugly patients". I was not molested as they group left but now think I missed out on something good.

Frankly if you were a matron nurse accompanied by a group of young studing nurses, would you do the same choice or not for the patient to bathe?

Personnally I would have chosen a nice and good looking girl if I were a male or a nice and good looking guy if I were a gay man or a woman

As long as it is to learn, I don't see why it would be bad to choose somebody who has a handsome body and would be pleasant to watch. The young man was not violated nor sexually abused in any way, nor injured nor bad treated. He was not submitted to any painful experience, it was just a lesson to bath correctly a man..

When I had just turned 18, also in the late 1950s, I had a small growth appear on my penis at the end of my urethra. It was small and inoffensive looking but I was concerned about my penis as only a teenage boy can be. So I had it checked and the urologist decided to do a cystoscopy on me (a tube and light are inserted into the bladder to inspect for tumors, etc.), which in those days required an overnight hospital visit. When I was admitted I was given a physical exam by not one but two nurses. During it I was nude in front of both of them for as much as ten or twelve minutes. And for the final five or six minutes, fully half the time, I had a full erection, largely because one of the nurses had checked my penis, foreskin and testicles and checked for a hernia at the beginning rather than the end of the exam, as is usually done. I was both embarrassed and turned on by it all, although mostly I was anxious about the forthcoming procedure.

Both nurses were in their 20s, slightly older than me, and reasonably attractive. One of them had been a distant neighbor for a while when I was growing up. She remembered me more than I remembered her, but I did know her.

The next morning both nurses showed up again and both managed to be in the operating room as I was going under the anesthesia. Plus they were there a short time after I woke up in my room. One of them checked the condition of my penis then, by looking only. Not by touching.

It took me several years to realize that the entrance exam was overdone, both in what they did and the fact that it took two of them to do it. Likely it was completely staged by them. Also that there was no reason for them to be in the operating as the doctor did the cystoscopy. My conclusion, affirmed by another nurse many years later who laughingly told me she had done the same sorts of things when she was a young nurse, was that they simply wanted to see and handle a physically fit teenager with an erection, and were curious to observe a tube being inserted into his penis.

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