Lovers busted for vehicular Valentine’s Day bondage

No, 31-year-old Nikolas Harbar and 26-year-old Stephanie Pelzner of Portland, Ore., decided to dispense with the candle-lit dinner, the flowers and the chocolates, and instead take a walk on the wild side.

Or to be precise, a ride on the wild side. In a Subaru Legacy. With Pelzer in the backseat – naked, tied up and her mouth covered with duct tape.

The kinky couple parked at New Seasons Market in the city, where a passer-by made the understandable error of mistaking foreplay for a kidnapping in progress.

The responsible citizen took down the plate and phoned the authorities.

Naturally, police suspected sexual assault or worse. An alert was issued and eventually nine cruisers took off in pursuit.

At 12:56 p.m., police returning to the address of the registered car owner spotted the Suburu with Pelzner still naked and bound in the back. Harbar told officers that “they were doing some Valentine’s Day role playing,” according to the police report. Officers confirmed the story with Pelzner, who said she was a willing participant.

Even so, police were not amused about the wild goose chase. They decided to arrest the pair for disorderly conduct in the second degree.

Harbar and Pelzner were booked into Multnomah County Jail, where there’s no safeword for getting out of its particular brand of B&D.