VORTEX REPORT: A MASSIVE SHIFT TO OCCUR!

One of the Originators of the ecclesial force vectors which opened that rift singularity, that rift in the space time continuum will be moving.

His Excellency Most Reverend Robert Finn, Bishop of Kansas City-St. Joseph has announced that the diocesan offices (that’s “chancery” or “curia”) will be moving.

When it moves, one of three things will happen.

The Vortex will shift to a different location.

The Vortex will not shift to a different location.

The Vortex will close forever.

Or… the Vortex will expand and annihilate the PLANET!

Okay, that’s four things.

Or… maybe ecclesial forces will lash back at the remain fixed points and engulf them?

Okay, five things.

We will all have to sort this out with courage, patience and….

[CUE MUSIC]

Mystic Monk Coffee!

When you’ve had a hard day of moving several gigs of email and dancing around inflated sheep’s stomachs… when you’ve no idea if the planet is even going to survive… yes, its time for a WDTPRS mug filled to the brim with soothing, rich and aromatic Mystic Monk Coffee!

That’s right! With Mystic Monk, you’ll more quickly figure out where to run and hide when the Vortex threatens to vaporize your city.

I guarantee that I am not up to dancing this morning, let alone dance around inflated sheep’s stomachs. (?) Perhaps it’s time to break down, give in, and try the..you know..Mystic Monks brew. Do you promise it’s swell? I am a die hard (really hard) Maxwell House drinker, by the barrel. But, I do want to be prepared if the Vortex shifts, we all know what happened to Fr. Z.

According to my computer models the effect this will have will be to bring the collision of the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies, predicted by scientists to occur in five billion years to approximately October 2, 2011 at 09:37 GMT. My computer models are unclear if we will be so lucky as to be hurled into intergalactic space. Someone must inform His Excellency about the ramification of his actions…..I really want to be around when the corrected edition of the Novus Ordo comes out.

I respectfully submit that by *observing* The Vortex you, Father Z himself (or, as the Irish say, Himself), have *changed* The Vortex and must be held partially accountable for any deleterious (or advantageous) effects that occur in the area.

@ kab63: So you’re saying that Fr. Z is Wigner’s friend? Sorry, Schrödinger’s cat is either dead or alive, not both, whether Fr. Z can see it or not. What does this have to do with The Vortex? Not sure, except it’s a really great exc—er, reason to build a pot of Mystic Monk!

I just got a message from a team of crack physicists headed by one Dr. Nicholas Tam, regarding your original calculations. It seems they were concerned with the fact that, having carefully plotted the vectors initially, you did not appear to take such care factoring in the slight influence of the Masonic temple, but guessed based on apparent resultant phenomena (the bush, etc.).

Well, they undertook to study the vectors based on the photos you put up, and came to some startling conclusions:

1) If one of the effects of the VORTEX is a chaotic distortion of space, time, physics or metaphysics, then something as symmetrical and therefore orderly as the bush may be a sign the VORTEX is _not_ centered on that spot; rather, such symmetry would likely show up in asynchronous locations nearby, much like keeping a tune in time in itself but off from the timing of the rest of the orchestra.

2) It is theoretically possible for the VORTEX to distort the vectors themselves. Whether this would result in its center being impossible to measure by definition is still being worked on.

3) It is even conceivably possible that such things as “center” have no meaning inside the VORTEX, or for that matter that “inside the VORTEX” and “outside the VORTEX”, let alone “near”, are also meaningless within range of its effect(s).

4) If point 3 is in fact valid, it stands to reason that inside the VORTEX the VORTEX itself might not even exist; this would, I believe make the VORTEX the first known case of an actually existing entity, rather than an only abstractly existing idea, being self-refuting.

Dr. Tam’s team, as you can see, has been working primarily in the theoretical; they’re interested in seeing if they could tweak your probe to better test these theories on the empirical level.

Amongst the things that may happen, are such divers possibilities as….

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- St. John Paul II

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Additional Food For Thought

“And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?... The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If...if...We didn't love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation.... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward.”

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