some Refinery fuel...

20151127

some cats (eggdonors/spermdonors) are so concerned w/being right/correct that uncivilized behavior is adopted to prove things that simply are not truth.

cognitive dissonance appears to be a favored behavior characteristic of huebeins who fit the above description. these individuals may be observed to exhibit extreme defensiveness exemplified by hyper sensitivity to exploratory questions about personal responsibility in various engagements w/others.

practicing selective memory & lack of accountability for highly questionable behavior seems to allow those who function in this fashion to go amongst the general population w/extremely unreasonable perceptions of watis collectively sociable behavior.

the perceptual emphasis on being correct seems to create undue psychological burden on the very necessary process of maintaining a positive state of self. the resulting image of self ends up being based on internally formed ideas that often do not resonate w/universal reality.

huebeins who move about in our physical realm this way can become violently hostile when their sense of reality is challenged. it appears that anger is engaged stemming from a recognition that all the work that was done to be right is being exposed as faulty.

very few huebeins embrace lessons of failed labor efforts w/a positive perspective. those who fixate on being correct as opposed to learning lessons from perceived losses may be some of the most dangerous people on our planet today. this particular population's psychology is to be correct by any & all means, even if it is self individual destructive.

a self collective approach to life on the planet will always serve the population best in the pursuit of civilized society. self individual destructive behaviors create significant obstacles to forming self collective based organizations & communities.

20150914

poverty is a great tool/weapon for psychological warfare in a capitalist society.

economics is the management of scarcity by definition. the institutional ability to create artificial scarcity is reserved by those who maintain capitalism as the global economic standard. there are a few geographic regions identifying as the political states commonly recognized as countries that still claim socialism. it often appears that even these states operate using capitalistic behaviors in the global arena if not within their political borders as well.

the general population is often led to believe that they have a role in determining the policies that shape their lives. some states make it very clear that the population does not have a role. such arrangements are historically claimed to be for the better benefit of the uneducated masses. oddly, in many of the situations where this is the choice made by state leaders, there are little to no programs established to educate the masses to the point of being intellectually proficient enough to assume this role in the future.

the more deviant states tend to portray the general population as being actively involved in the process of policy determination while using various traditions & institutions to essentially disable the population by as many ways as there are minds to create the laws of the land. in these situations, 1 can generally observe Orwellian practices that define hypocrisy at its highest levels of being.

doublespeak is relatively insufficient in describing these situations. doubleact is likely more apt to describe these environments. this is where poverty plays its part by thoroughly disabling the thought process of the masses.

is it fair to term these practice of perpetuating poverty as war tactics?

to use a cliche, all is fair in love & war. no mind that has a love for life would tolerate the presence of poverty as it is observed to exist in contemporary society.

there is supposedly a war on poverty in the United States. there was 1 declared at 1 point. it could be ongoing. if it is or isn't, the losses are staggering. psychologically speaking, the losses are mind shattering.

from a basic level, the mind of a huebein is very responsive to perception of the senses. from a biological level, the mind requires that the body be relatively functional in order for it to focus on thoughts & growth. perceptions of threat are extremely disruptive to mental process. consistent exposure to high levels of threat is generally recognized to cause mental disorder like post traumatic stress for example. poverty & the circumstances associated w/it are highly proficient at creating & perpetuating physiological & psychological threats through a lack of nutrition, safety, shelter, etc.

in a capitalist society, the alleviation of these threats tends to require a fluid availability of capital. the lack of access to such fluidity is highly disruptive to the process of mind elevation. mind elevation is synonymous w/progress for the general population. for state leaders to not make it a priority that the general population is well educated enough to combat such threats is an indication of the true aims of the state.

there has been a consistent annual trend for several decades for the cost of education to steadily increase while the availability of funding has decreased.

who is making these decisions? the general population?

is the general population benefiting from being less educated in a capitalist society where the less educated are far more likely to fail miserably at obtaining &/or managing capital?

who is benefiting from the creation of circumstances where it is more & more difficult to become well educated enough to function intellectually as a capitalist?

the answers to these questions make it a bit difficult to argue that poverty is not a form of psychological warfare being used on an institutional level. there are policies being created & put into place that reflect patterns of behavior that are hostile to the general population of the various political states around the planet.

20150506

3y3AM testing this voice recorder to see how it works, because my fingers are too fucking big for this little ass keyboard.

no bullshit.

alchemy is a science. It's an ancient science. I may have said this before but I'm going to keep repeating it. it seems very necessary. alchemists are generally responsible for creating solutions to help society evolve.

the society that we currently live in is not particularly alchemist friendly. why would anyone want to prevent society from evolving? evolution is supposed to be an important phenomena from a scientific perspective. in what civilized society would it be prudent to ignore science?

the point here is that this society, contemporary society, is not civilized. just for clarity, I'm saying this is not a civilized society. the basic elements of a civilized society or glaringly absent from the society that we live in today.

we do not have to live this way.

don't believe this. know this.

there have been, & will continue to be, groups of us who know this already. we have attempted to tell the general population what is going on for many generations. apparently listening is not encouraged.

please listen. change is the only universal constant. alchemy is all about change. this is a key element to the knowledge of self. change is inevitable. those who fight against change endeavor to oppose the universal flow of all things.

20150212

those of you who actually watch & support wat the Refinery does may have noticed the recent emphasis on alchemy. if you know wat alchemy is, thas waup! it's all love. if you don't know watitis, thas still waup. it's still all love...

know this...

to the best of my knowledge, alchemy is an ancient Kemetic science. it exists throughout the world in various cultures. these teachings have been put in numerous languages, spiritual practices, etc.. the teachings at their core have told us to be mindful of the collective so that we as individuals & the collective strive toward elevating & evolving.

20150113

watsgood world. this is watitis. i identify self as an active creator. watdoes that mean?

it means if i'm not actively creating on a relatively regular basis i get stagnant & funky like a rotting carcass. i'm quite sure i've stated this before, but it bears repeating.

in my currently somewhat limited travels, i'm beginning to notice this behavioral dynamic is quite common amongst creative huebeins. there are a lot of us who aren't particularly well treated by either society &/or supposed friends/family.

this is a fascinating thing to observe considering that those of us who manage to become creative heroes have a very common experience:

the lean years

watdefuckisthat?

it's that period where 1 is essentially broke as fuck, literally eating tuna out of cans & shit like that. it may seem that this is wat fam & friends are for supportwise, but for many of us, this is when those types bail like fields of hey WTF!

the trick as creator is to know how to say fuckit & keep it mega. those of us who can manage the lean years most fearlessly tend to see some most beautiful shit begin to happen. as highly emotional/expressive huebeins though, the wait through the lean season can be killer. in some cases, this is a literal thing.

support can often be the key factor between madness & outright innovative genius.

if you're reading this & you don't consider self a fellow active creator, keep an eye peeled for those creators in your life who are. support them as best you can so they can do their thing.

why?

because active creators are very often natural healers & who doesn't need healing?

20141021

part of what the Refinery represents is a community building platform. the concept behind this platform is to bring together a collective of active creators who are from diverse disciplines yet have a relatively common interest as active creators in inspiring each other toward greater creative freedom & expression.

are there other collectives that perform this function? 3y3m sure there are, but i am not currently involved in any of them & i'm thinking there are a few other active creators who aren't either.

the point here is that instead of attempting to gain acceptance of/in an established collective, why not create 1 that doesn't require such energy to be spent. cliques can be quite boring & counterproductive in ways. i've never had a particular interest in them. there's usually too much ego w/certain cats & peeps like that do not respond well to being told about self.

i have no personal or professional interest in dealing w/cats who repeatedly & willfully refrain from being collectively accountable. apparently this is extremely difficult for those who are too self absorbed. how ironic that active creators seem to be emotional people in many if not all cases. vanity & emotional volatility often prevail in spaces better filled w/creative energy. the end result is a lack of much creative output.

why would i want that?

that said, to those who may be mutually interested in building an inpiring & encouraging collective, i'm always looking to build w/those who get the direction of the Refinery & find our movement is in a similar direction. the idea is to be active creators in an atmosphere where competition is w/self & improvement is the ultimate goal.

if any reader finds this concept appealing & is interested in building going forward, get at my inbox on facebook, or gmail:

please do not confuse this request for communication w/an invitation to spam me w/a whole bunch of bullshit &/or random submissions of media. yes, this is a solicited request, no, not everything that is perceived to be DOPE is...

so, please take the time check out the Refinery's various digital contributions & get a feel for the vibes. if there's still an interest besides pushing YOUR OWN material/content, then do inbox me w/a brief message expressing your level of interest in contributing to the building of this collective.

20140608

6 months in & 3 months since the last this year is a bit long for a post...

i've been busy working on living more constructively. the more i do that the more space i have to be an active creator. the whole purpose of this endeavor is to share creativity. this is for self as a whole. the question of how self is defined is key. as a result of certain cultural studies that i have been exposed to, it is extremely clear how important collectives are. self as a whole is equivalent to all of us on the planet. this may seem grandiose, but we are all here to help each other live. our current social system often goes against this collective progress mentality.

observation seems to indicate very strongly that huebeins overall work best in groups. families are a great example. even the most innovative individuals ususally have some kind of team &/or support system that facilitates progress toward whatever goal. whenever & wherever we do not work together, we get what we get.

i don't know about the rest of you, but i dig working around & w/other creators. the inspiration is invaluable energy that seems to only come from being in the presence of other people who choose to embrace the freedoms of being an active creator. the term active creator distinguishes those who embrace being a creator from the general population of creators. ultimately we are all creators. some of us are just a bit more assertive about sharing our universal gifts as creators.

i've got ongoing projects that are still coming together. Soundcloud Saturday is still an active project. the format & presentation will be changing a little bit. there may be another post in the coming days about what i hope is a multimedia vehicle intended to get a more active exchange of ideas/content going.

the exchange of ideas/thoughts is so important to how we as a species make advances. actively creative minds innovate. you wouldn't be reading & i wouldn't be typing if this was not true...

20140317

if it isn't clear, i am a highly spiritual huebein. i'm not the least bit religious. i find little personal use for rigid &/or ritualistic practice in observing & maintaining my connection(s) to the metaphysical.

that said, i've been dealing w/life for the last few months in ways that required i leave some of these online activities be. my physical health was literally at risk. no details. things have improved & i'm getting back to my online grind.

i realized during the time away that i had been spending too much energy on developing an online presence at the expense of my biz in the physical world. sometimes we have to step back & away to see the light shine w/a more constructive perspective.

fortunately i continued to come up w/ideas & record them in various ways to flesh out later. i was also able to get a few more small pieces to add to the lab setup to make the creative process a bit more fluid for what the Refinery is doing. overall things are well.

setbacks, delays, unexpected circumstances...

they can be frustrating, but they're a part of life & life is all good when it's all lessons.

20130627

i grew up in the suburbs of Illadelph. South Jersey (SJ) to be exact. Edgewater Park & Willingboro to be specific. i often jokingly refer to SJ as East Illadelph because all of the broadcast media that shaped my thoughts as i grew came from Illadelph. i actually moved here when i was in my late teens & have spent my entire life as an adult in this beautiful city.

the majority of the huebeins i grew up around were European Statesians. my family did not have any Europeans in it, but the genetic influence of Europeans is clear on my egg donor side. it's possible that there is some American genetics mixed in there too, but that's not a topic for now.

the post Civil Rights era mentality of the African Statesians that i was exposed to essentially taught me that desegregation had worked. the incidences of racial hatred &/or prejudice were no longer prevalent as they used to be. the struggle for equality was effective. we were now enjoying the fruits of labor of the struggle.

this is the 1970's in the minds of the African Statesians that i grew up around.

somewhere along this path i had a European Statesian associate who was the son of 1 of my egg donor's associates. i would say we were friends back then. it's a lot easier to use the friends label when you're young. i'll call this associate Jim for the sake of this story. Jim & i used to spend the night at each others homes, play outside w/each other, & many of the other things that people do when they're social.

Jim & his family moved from SJ to Ohio in the mid to early '70's. Jim's family moved because his sperm donor worked for a franchise as a manager & they moved him around sometimes. this wasn't a big deal for me. i had other associates, & our egg donors kept in touch.

thanks to the our egg donors relationship, i got to experience my 1st plane flight. this was an amazing experience & i still have a great love for flight to this day. my egg donor & i flew from Illadelph to Ohio to visit Jim & his family. we stayed at Jim's house. if i recall correctly, this was for the Christmas holiday that year.

as i was told by my egg donor, Jim's sperm donor was prejudiced. he seemed to hold himself together relatively well when we were around, but who knows how he acted when we weren't there. i was told that he could be abusive to Jim's egg donor. i'm not sure if that meant mentally, physically, or both. Jim grew up in this environment. it had an effect on our interactions.

1 evening Jim & i were playing & things got a little heated. i suppose we were arguing over a toy or some rules of play & Jim decided he was angry enough to call me nigger.

this was the 1st time i was ever called nigger by a European Statesian to my face.

i told my egg donor & Jim's family what happened. Jim's egg donor was embarrassed as i can recall, but i don't quite recall his sperm donor's reaction. i don't recall if they beat him or not. i know i got beating for incidents like this, but this wasn't my incident.

we continued to stay at Jim's house until we left & my egg donor stayed in contact w/Jim's. the 2 of them maintained their relationship for many years after that as well. Jim & i did not stay in contact. it has nothing to do w/this incident though.

i haven't forgotten this 1st nigger.

there have been many since. usually not to my face about me, but European Statesians yelling out nigger in passing has been relatively common in my personal experience. in fact, at Trenton State College, if you passed the Travers & Wolfe dorms on certain occasions, you could hear nigger yelled at you from the cover of dark windows. this was in the late '80's to early '90's.

the most recent of these incidents was at an event here in Illadelph. a drunk European Statesian was complaining about the presence of young African Statesians on South Street. ironically, he had interrupted a relatively spiritual conversation i was having w/a huebein who was from 1 of the countries in Central America. this drunk dude didn't seem to care that he was talking to someone who looked like 1 of the niggers he decided to complain about. this was in October '12.

the word nigger is definitely not foreign to me as an African Statesian...

20130415

when you have goals that are so large that they may extend beyond your physical being/existence, you have to look at life in a way that pieces progress into its necessary steps. this requires a good deal of planning & organization (p & o). if you're in an environment that is not conducive to p & o, there's that much more work that needs to be done.

paying dues is equivalent to the work needed to handle p & o regardless of environmental conditions.

managing frustration levels in detrimental environments is a matter of creator survival.

some make it, some don't. some cats come out scarred but stronger walking on their own 2, others get tangled in the crutches they use to hobble through the difficulties many huebeins face in life.

perception/perspective orientation is key. those who tend to be more - seem to be more likely to create issues as opposed to solutions.

more + = more solutions = more success

success as defined here is the accomplishment of creator goals, not the concept of accumulation of artificially valued physical objects.

the question at the end of the day/journey is how far did the collective self progress as a result of an individual creator's contribution to the creation of + change?

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