The impression I get is that killing Asgore or Flowey are options that aren't really options. Like, I don't think anything will actually change -- what, like the game's going to let you out of fighting the last boss? -- but intend to explore those possibilities on future playthroughs.

Killing Flowey *will* fuck up your ability to do a true pacifist run on your second try, I think. When you get to Asgore the second time, Flowey is basically "HAHAH YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL ME? FUCK YOU AND YOUR HAPPY ENDING" (game over)

Esperath wrote:Killing Flowey *will* fuck up your ability to do a true pacifist run on your second try, I think. When you get to Asgore the second time, Flowey is basically "HAHAH YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL ME? FUCK YOU AND YOUR HAPPY ENDING" (game over)

I let Flowey talk me into killing him. It does not ruin a pacifist playthrough, but you don't get the hint from him of what to do next and you do get a lot more angry at him that way as you try to figure out what to do next.

When you select "FIGHT" he will say "...I KNEW you had it in you" and his face fades off the flower, laughing manically as he dies. As if losing to Flowey in the end isn't bad enough, he will not show up in any future playthroughs (He's immune to load) until you either do a true pacifist or spare Asgore in a neutral. In the latter, he will show up and taunt you repeatedly after watching Asgore kill himself saying we will NEVER get what I want and to give up on a happy ending *forceclose program

Hitting "Continue" brings me back to the game where I killed Toriel by accident, so you have to Reset.

Despite everything, that's still me.

Flowey doesn't attack this time. He recognizes you instantly and reminds you not to kill anyone this time. But we already know he's aware of -- and given enough power, capable of -- saving and loading and resetting, so it's no great surprise for him to lean on the fourth wall like this.

So Flowey just leaves, and Toriel walks in without having to fireball Flowey off of you.

It's not a lucky guess. Toriel feels like she's running into an old friend, that she's known for a long time...

I love this line. It's delivered with all the sincerity of someone who actually thinks that's a selling point.

With the knowledge I'd gained in the last playthrough, I now know that you can Mercy monsters individually as soon as they're ready to leave you alone. Migosp, in fact, demands this: it can only be Mercied when it's the only monster left on the field, at which point it drops the hostility of the hive-mind and just wants to dance. It's a tutorial monster, and I missed the point.

I talked about this in the video of the Photoshop Flowey battle, but the equipment upgrades you find are the items brought by the other six fallen humans who perished and had their souls delivered to Asgore. There is:

Toy KnifeTough GloveBallet ShoesTorn NotebookBurnt Pangun

But you start with a plain ol' regular Stick. It's more useful than it looks!

: OKAY... I GUESS I'LL REPEAT MYSELF... RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE. GREEN TILES ARE WATER TILES. ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE SCENTED. IF YOU STEP ON ORANGE, DON'T STEP ON GREEN. BROWN TILES ARE... WAIT!!! THERE ARE NO BROWN TILES... PURPLE TILES SMELL LIKE LEMONS... WHY DON'T THE YELLOW ONES SMELL LEMONY? UMM... WAIT!! DID I MIX UP GREEN AND BLUE!? THE BLUE ONES ARE WATER ONES! PINK TILES... I DON'T... REMEMBER??? WAIT!!! THOSE ONES DON'T DO ANYTHING. OKAY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND BETTER NOW!?

You know, if I didn't already have a pretty low opinion of the Brilliant Dr. Alphys, I'd have a pretty low opinion of the Brilliant Dr. Alphys.

So no, I still don't get it. Spell it out for me, bones.

: .......... OK, YOU KNOW WHAT??? HOW ABOUT... YOU JUST... DO THIS PUZZLE... ON YOUR OWN... I'LL LEAVE THE INSTRUCTIONS... JUST READ THEM. THEN WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND IT... YOU CAN THROW THE SWITCH. AND DO IT AT YOUR OWN PACE. GOOD LUCK. NYEH... HEH... HEH!

And Papyrus just leaves without ever scrambling the tiles. You can't activate it yourself, because the instructions are illegible and Mettaton the control panel isn't actually functional as such.

You don't have to pet the Lesser Dog when you encounter it. If you don't, it lacks the inspiration to make any snow sculptures.

Sans is standing at opposite ends of the same room. You can't see both at once, but...

For each battle with the dog guards, you can throw the Stick to instantly Mercy them without any further time spent. Doggo is unnerved that he's playing fetch with a visible stick but an invisible thrower. Dogamy and Dogaressa still think you smell weird but are happy to play with you. Lesser Dog and Greater Dog just play fetch until they tire out.

I had to save and reload a couple of times to get this screenshot, after I saw it for the first time. If you turn around from the bridge where Papyrus threatens you with traps too terrible to contemplate, you can catch a blink-and-you'll-miss-it shot of Flowey diving into the ground. I don't know if this is a replay thing, or if he's always watching you on every playthrough, but Flowey is always watching you now.

Phonecall: Hello! Can I speak to G... ... Wait a second. Is this the wrong number? Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! (Click...)

There's a little ditty that plays for the Wrong Number Song that isn't in the official soundtrack. And who are they calling that starts with "G"? The only named character I can think of in the admittedly small cast whose name starts with G is Gerson, the turtle-merchant in Waterfall. Hmm... it is a mystery.

Turns out to jump Papyrus's giant bone parade* is to just hold the up button to float upwards like you're not blue. So that's... not intuitive.

If you continue Humming at Shyren, then she gets caught up in the performance. Monsters crowd around! It's an audience! A concert! Sans is selling tickets made of toilet paper! But eventually the fame and fortune and hard-knock life of the concert musician is too much, and Shyren retires from the limelight.

It's possible to take this walk without an umbrella. Nothing seems to change except this line.

If you haven't lived a life of sin, the mushroom dance means something different.

So that explains that. I like Woshua.

If you try to be hateful to Monster Kid, she responds that her sister is even meaner than that, and still can't hate you.

But if you then ignore her when she's in peril and dash for Undyne instead, Monster Kid will fall and Undyne will leap down to save her.

Undyne goes into a little more of the "human history" during her introduction speech. She's not terribly impressed if you abandoned Monster Kid to fall, although she says I did it to run away when I was actually running right for her.

She goes on to say that the goody-two-shoes act isn't fooling anyone, and is annoyed by me constantly hugging everyone. It beats her accusing me of murdering people for fun, though.

The rest of the fight plays out as it always does. You run away when you get the chance, then rehydrate Undyne when she passes out to spare her.

Hmm, let's see...

Is it me?

: ...SERIOUSLY? MY MY... HOW CONCEITED CAN YOU GET...? I LOVE IT! AND WHILE YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG, YOU DESERVE SOME CREDIT. I'VE SEEN HER WATCH YOU ON HER COMPUTER SCREEN. SMILING WHEN YOU SUCCEED. SHRIEKING WHEN YOU FAIL. AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS WHISPERING... "NO! WRONG! YOU HAVE TO GO THAT WAY!" IN ITS OWN WAY, IS THIS NOT LOVE??

Instead of blushing and covering her face, Alphys gives you a disgusted side-eye throughout the entire speech.

Remember, Papyrus calls you halfway through the Undyne chase to say that the three of you should all hang out sometime. And if you haven't killed anyone, Undyne hasn't already turned her nose up at the offer to do that. So...

: ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE? I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!

That's... kind of a weird... thing to want to do... but sure, let's roll.

The music cuts out as soon as Undyne opens the door -- she's not playing piano anymore -- and remains silent...

...inside scenic Undyne's house.

: HERE, UNDYNE. MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU, ON THEIR OWN!

: Uhhh... thanks. I'll, uh, put it with the others.

Undyne's got a drawer full of these magnificent gifts. And now that you see her in profile while she's in her civvies, doesn't she look like a character from Maniac Mansion?

: So are we ready to start?

: WHOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!!

Papyrus's master plan to make Undyne and me friends was to put us in the same room as one another and then bail out the window. Well done, Papyrus.

: So why are YOU here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?

Mayb-- er, no, no, not at all.

: Then why are you here?

: ...!

: Wait, I get it. You think that I'm gonna be friends with you, huh? Right???

The options are "Yes" and "NEVER with you". I remain contrarian.

: WHAT? First you parade into my house, then you INSULT me? You little BRAT! I have half a mind to... ... Wait. I'll prove you WRONG. We ARE going to be friends. In fact... We. Are going to be BESTIES. I'll make you like me so much... Your WHOLE LIFE will revolve around me!! It's the perfect revenge!!

: FUHUHUHUHU!!!

: Now, why don't you have a seat?

You don't have to. You can wander around and poke around Undyne's house if you want.

Pointing to the hot chocolate: Oh, you want some hot chocolate? Wait, wait, I just remembered... that container's empty. I stopped getting it because it was always a huge hassle... ASGORE kept getting marshmallows stuck in his beard.

Pointing at the sugar: That sugar's for the tea. I'm not gonna give you a cup of sugar! What do I look like, the ice-cream woman? Do human ice-cream women TERRORIZE HUMANITY with ENERGY SPEARS? Are their ice-cream songs a PRELUDE TO DETRUCTION? IS THAT IT?

Huh? Yeah, sure. Sorry, I wasn't really listening.

Undyne continues: ...what? REALLY? That rules!!!

Pointing at the fridge: The fridge?! You want to have the ENTIRE fridge?! No!

Pointing at the sword: Believe me, I would GLADLY give you your fill of swords. If you weren't my beloved houseguest!!

Pointing at Undyne: Are you... hitting on me????

Pointing at the tea -- labelled the "blatantly correct choice" -- is how to proceed. Undyne puts the kettle on and waits for a moment, in real time, much as Toriel telling you to wait five minutes or the lengthy process of eating instant noodles. Undyne serves her tea with a monologue.

Music: Memory, though it's played at a slower tempo than linked here. So maybe run YouTube at like 80% speed?

: It's pretty good, right? Nothing but the best for my ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS FRIEND!! Hey... You know, it's kind of strange that you chose THAT tea.

Well, it's not like you gave me an option beyond "tea". And I'm sure if you had, there'd be some reason not to serve any tea but this one.

: Golden flower tea... That's ASGORE's favorite kind. Actually, now that I think about it... You kind of remind me of him. You're both TOTAL weenies! ...sort of.

: Y'know, I was a pretty hotheaded kid.

As opposed to the level-headed stoic you are now.

: Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight ASGORE. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back!

Huh, a fighting style based entirely around dodging and finding a nonviolent way to end the encounter? I guess we are a bit alike. Do go on.

: I was so humiliated... Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy... "Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?" I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt... bad. But he was beaming... I had never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked. Anyway, long story short

too late

: he kept training me... And now I'm the head of the Royal Guard! So I'm the one who gets to train dorks to fight! ...like, uh, Papyrus.

: But, um, to be honest... ...I don't know if... I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard.

What? Aw man, he's gonna be devastated when he finds out! That kind of revelation is gonna cut him... to the bone.

: Don't tell him I said that! He's just... Well... I mean, it's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough! It's just that... He's... He's to innocent and nice! I mean, look, he was SUPPOSED to capture you... And he ended up being FRIENDS with you instead! I could NEVER send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's part of why I started teaching him how to cook, you know? So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life.

: Oh, sorry, I was talking for so long you're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get you some more.

: Wait a second. Papyrus... His cooking lesson... HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW!!! And if HE's not here to have it... YOU'LL HAVE TO DO IT FOR HIM!!!

Undyne runs along her counter, kicking off all of the beverage options.

: That's right!!! NOTHING has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson... WE'LL BECOME CLOSER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!! Fuhuhu!!! Afraid!? We're gonna be best friends!!!

Undyne leaps across the broken table, grabs the human child, and leaps back to the kitchen counter. Level-headed stoic, indeed.

: Let's start with the sauce!!

Undyne stomps, and a handful of vegetables fall... uh, from the ceiling. Must be more monster magic. It's not like she could keep tomatoes and stuff in her hot fridge.

: Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now!! Pound them to dust with your fists!!

You can only get this far by having spared Doggo, Dogamy, Dogaressa, Lesser Dog, and Greater Dog. Petting is exactly how I treat my enemies.

Undyne shows how it's done, splattering a giant mess all over the counter, the wall, and herself.

: Uhh, we'll just scrape this into a bowl later. But for now!

: Homemade noodles are the best! BUT I JUST BUY STORE-BRAND! THEY'RE THE CHEAPEST!!! NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

: Uhh, just put them in the pot.

I very carefully, very gently, put the noodles in the pot, one by one. The narration says they clank against the empty bottom, so... there's no water boiling in the pot. Not like Undyne has any fire magic, anyway.

: Alright! Now it's time to stir the pasta! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir... THE BETTER IT IS! Ready? Let's do it!

It's actual button-mashing, not like Thundersnail at all.

: Harder! HARDER!! Ugh, let me do it!

That's less "stirring" and more "terrorizing noodles with energy spears".

Hold right to turn up the heat. Pushing left will have Undyne indicate that there isn't actually any way to turn it down, the controls only go one way. So light 'em up up up light 'em up up up light 'em up up up

: ...oh, who am I kidding. I really screwed this up, didn't I? I can't force you to like me, human. Some people just don't get along with each other.

I dunno, I think it's refreshing to work with the script for someone who doesn't talk in ALL CAPS or have a n-nervous s-stutter.

: I understand if you feel that way about me. And if we can't be friends... That's okay. Because... if we're not friends...

: IT MEANS I CAN DESTROY YOU WITHOUT REGRET!

The music, which had cut out when Undyne's kitchen exploded, starts up again. It's NGAHHH!! again, but sped up. So maybe run YouTube at 120% speed this time?

: I even failed to befriend you. That's it. I don't care if you're my guest anymore. One final rematch! All out on both sides!!! IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN REGAIN MY LOST PRIDE!!! NOW COME ON! HIT ME WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT! NGAHHHH!!!

My only options under the ACT menu are to Check Undyne or give her a wimpy fake attack. She'd see through that in an instant, I bet. Better use a real one. Certainly I'm not going to one-shot her or anything, she's captain of the Guard! She can take a hit!

S... so! This is all I've got! NGAAAHHHHH!!!

: That's the best you can manage? Even attacking at full force... You just can't muster any intent to hurt me, huh?

Remember, monster bodies are attuned to their souls. It doesn't matter how hard you actually strike them, it's how much harm you intend to do that actually hurts. That's why a beat-up human child with a stick can still kill monsters -- it's all in wanting to. And despite that she's nuttier than squirrel turds, goshdarnit, I like Undyne.

: ... Heh, you know what?

Undyne unsummons her magic spear.

: At first, I hated your stupid saccharine schtick, but... The way you hit me right now, it... Reminded me of someone I used to train with. Now I know you aren't just some wimpy loser.

: You're a wimpy loser with a big heart!

: Just like him... ... Listen, human. It seems that you and ASGORE are fated to fight. But knowing him... He probably doesn't want to. Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually, some mean human will fall down here, and I'll take THEIR soul instead. That makes sense, right? Oh, and if you DO hurt ASGORE... I'll take the human souls... Cross the barrier... And beat the hell out of you!

: That's what friends are for, right? Fuhuhu! Now, let's get the hell out of this flaming house!

: We'll have to hang out again another time...! But, uh, somewhere else I guess. In the meantime, I guess I'll go hang with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by Snowdin, okay? OH! And if you need help... Just give Papyrus a ring, okay? Since we're in the same spot, I'll be able to talk too! Well, see ya later, punk!!

Thus ends my date with a murderous fish. That went about as well as could be expected.