How To Propose To A Man In 10 Easy Steps

I've planned more than 600 marriage proposals (all with a 100%
success rate!) and I'm seeing a huge surge in women looking to pop
the question. Women have started to realise that doing the asking
needn't be scary. The great news is that because it isn't seen as
traditional, there are far fewer rules to follow, meaning you can
set your own agenda and make it entirely personal to you both.

1. 'Do I need to ask his parents'
permission first?'

If you want to go down the traditional route, then the short
answer is yet. But if you really want to turn tradition on its
head, instead of asking his father, why not ask his mother for her
approval? After all, with you taking the reins and proposing to
him, it seems only right to ask the matriarch of the family what
she thinks.

2. 'Do I need to buy him an engagement
ring?'

It doesn't have to be a ring. It could be a pair of cufflinks,
or a piece of art - anything that lasts a lifetime. A watch is
another nice idea as you can have it engraved with your proposal
date, or, later, the wedding date. It's something he will wear
every day - just like an engagement ring.

3. 'Surely if he hasn't asked me yet, then
he can't be ready to get married?'

There's a very easy way of working this out. Firstly, you need
to know if marriage is even on his radar. Have you discussed
getting hitched with him? Does he balk at the idea of a wedding and
find every excuse to leave the house and visit the pub? If so, then
marriage might not be quite right for him just now. However, if you
have had 'the chat' and you know he is heading in that direction,
it's a very positive sign.

4. 'Will I always be left wondering would
he have asked?'

If you are only proposing because you are sick of waiting for
him to do it, then it's the wrong reason to get down on one knee.
When women contact me wanting to propose I always check they aren't
just doing it because they have got tired of waiting. If, however,
you are proposing for the right reasons (i.e. you want to be with
him for the rest of your life) then you can pretty much answer this
question yourself. If he says 'Yes' to your proposal, then it
obviously means he sees his future as being married to you. Which
means, if you hadn't asked, he probably would have done so
anyway.

5. 'Will people think I'm desperate?'

Do you care? The opinions of your friends and family are the
only ones that should matter and if they can see you're in a happy
relationship and meant to be, who cares who's doing the proposing.
Ultimately, it's him your marrying.

6. 'How can I make sure it's really
thoughtful and special?'

Preparation is incredibly important. Putting in the groundwork
will also give you the confidence to ask him. Think of it like the
ultimate surprise party. So before you propose, sit down and think
about what he is like as a man. Does he hate public attention?
You're probably wise not to do it in a restaurant. You
don't need to spend a fortune on the proposal, but putting thought
and effort into it will certainly show him how much you care, and
make sure you remember the moment forever.

7. 'What happens if he says "No"?'

First of all, don't panic - it doesn't mean the end of your
relationship. Sit down and ask him calmly for his reasons. They
could well be practical ones: perhaps he is worried about the
financial situation of paying for a wedding, or maybe he was saving
up to buy you the engagement ring you always wanted. Another reason
could be that he is just plain 'surprised'. Maybe he never expected
you to ask so he needs to sit back and take it all in. Admit it;
you'd prefer for him to think about his answer rather than just
saying 'Yes' and later regretting it.

8. 'Will he actually enjoy being proposed
to?'

To work this out, consider what he is like as a man - do you
think he will be flattered or threatened? Is he the sort of man who
likes to be in control and take the initiative when it comes to sex
or booking dinner? If so, you might find he won't enjoy having the
control taken away from him, so bear that in mind.

9. 'Should I get down on one knee?'

There are no hard and fast rules about women proposing, so just
do and say what you're comfortable with. If getting down on one
knee seems alien to you, then why not propose using another
gesture. You could reach for his hand or take out a piece of paper
that has 'marry me' on it.

10. 'What should I actually say when I
propose?'

Asking someone for their hand in marriage is
nerve-racking - regardless of who proposes to whom. Let him know
how nervous you are and acknowledge that he might find it strange…
but then give him reasons why you feel your marriage would work and
why you want to marry him. And the most important bit? Don't forget
to say 'Will you marry me?' at the end! Otherwise, he might just
think you're having a 'romantic moment' and not realise you are
asking to spend the rest of your life with him.

Tiffany Wright is an engagement expert and marriage proposal
planner. She set up the first proposal planning company in the UK
in 2012 and now runs The One Romance (www.theoneromance.com), which helps men and
women plan elegant and luxurious marriage proposals. Tiffany has
her own TV show on Sky and is a regular on programmes such as Loose
Women and BBC News.

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