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Sunday, February 17, 2008

If you are on it you will remember the cute little dog. You may well have got yours from me. “Fast forward” said the instructions and you will be “surprised”. So was everyone on my list.

Eventually, I got an irate message from a Facebook friend who claimed too many of us were sending “stupid stuff”, meaning cute little doggies, and not respecting the personal relationships, the innateness of friendship.

I apologised for the dog. Then I sat down and had a good think.

Sure, he was right, and I get the crap too, but I delete it. The dog didn’t bother me that much, and once I learnt its innate stupidity, when it arrived, again, and again, and one more time, I binned it.

But there is something, oh yes, something that really pisses me of about Facebook and that is all the people who want to be my friends who I have never heard of and once I check them out I discover they want to be my friend because they are the friend of some other friend of mine.

To quote Steve Martin, Excuse Me, being Jim’s friend gives no right to Joan to be my friend. I like Jim, but who the jack is Joan and what makes her think I will like her just because I like Jim?

And that’s not the end of it.

What about all those people I do like who get bored with Facebook and sign up to Shoulderstrap, or Earlobe, of Headspace, or any number of other Facebook Wannabes?

Well, get jacked Headspace, that’s what I say, because I barely have the time in a day to service Facebook and the 16 blogs I’m running, in addition to making a living, nurturing the marriage and pretending to father.

In addition, I’m an almost dead Baby Boomer and there’s stuff I have to do before I leave and one of the last things I need is a new website for friends I don’t know and don’t need.

There.

I feel better now.

Well, not quite.

I’m still a little nervous.

Because you and I both know that out there, in cyberspace, yes, they are amassing, gearing up, getting ready, you know who I mean, The Amway Salespeople.

Oh yes, I’m your friend, because you know Jim and I know Jim and so we should get together and maybe this weekend for coffee and an idea I want to run by you, I think you’ll like it, you could make some money, then BAM, they whack you with it, friendship is nothing more than a front to flog jack shit!