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I’m still mid-slump, and the fact that things keep changing doesn’t help either. I haven’t been doing any hobby things lately, as I’ve been too busy vegetating and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix (omg I didn’t realize how funny 90’s slang and fashion were haha. Did I really dress like that???).

I’m still working temp jobs, but I think I finally found an apartment that I can call home for a year! This means: I get to set up my dolls. I will start crafting again! I will finally be able to go get my cat back on the east coast.

Renting a room in someone else’s house was (is?) an experience. I’ve never subsisted on frozen dinner and cup ramen before, and also, I now appreciate just how clean my parents’ home is, and how much work it is to keep a house that clean. My dollies are all in a box right now, including my newest girl, who I’m waiting to send over to Australia for a makeover once I save up enough (teh monies… It slips through my fingers). Money has been stressing me out, moreso than it used to – I’ve never had to live paycheck-to-paycheck before – it’s mentally exhausting, and super triggering to my anxiety.

And now, I have to think about furnishing my new place! This is both exciting and stressful since furniture is SO EXPENSIVE. I’ve picked out a color palette though!

Mint, gold, grey, and white! I found those photos via Google a la Pinterest ^^. My new place is going to be super tiny, but having a space that’s all mine will do me good, I think.

Just a rambly (quite possibly long) update. It’s been a whole week since I moved westward, and I’m not sure the reality of the changes has hit me yet. My brain tends to put a negative spin on everything (a bad habit I’m trying to correct), and try as I might, I can’t shake off these thoughts:

I’m technically homeless.

I’m unemployed.

The money… It slips through my fingers (insert Mulan reference here).

I miss my cat.

I’m no longer in NYC.

I’m a New Yorker in California… Which, I guess isn’t all that rare – people relocate all the time. I think I still might be on New York time, as I woke up at 7AM naturally. I went for a walk, and it feels kind of like a waking dream. There’s hummingbirds and bunnies just going about their business in the neighborhood.

It really does feel surreal. Everything feels different – even my sweat feels different (it was explained to me that this is because there’s no humidity here. Bizarre).

I’m really glad I decided to see my old therapist before leaving everything I knew. She really helped me keep grounded before the move, and I try to remember her words and practice her advice every day I’m here. Here’s my list of positives:

It’s so beautiful here. It’s so serene.

I feel less like I’m being smothered by a sea of angry people.

I have a support system here.

I have a support system in NYC too.

I haven’t been able to do many doll things while here. I think it’s because if I’m not trying to get my life in order, I’m napping because I’m exhausted. Once I get settled (hopefully soon), I’ll be able to take my girls out for some photos.

Every weekend, I try to redress my dolls, that way I can figure out what items in the doll wardrobe I love, get a better sense of what things go together, and it’s quite relaxing to redress them while sipping a glass of wine and watching some YouTube videos.

Prisma (left) and Finley (right) are this week’s best dressed girls ^^. Prisma is wearing a checkered shirt and tutu by MINIJIJO with a pink hair clip. Finley is wearing an adorable shirt made by my friend, a Missblythe2012 jumper skirt and Qmagicdoll shoes. I love how different these two girls look! They were both customized by different artists, and so their faces are quite different styles. I’m so in love with Prisma, but somewhere down the line, I may give her a licca body (her neck wobbles on her current body, so I’m not sure that I would want to do an arm transplant).

I’m slowly decluttering my things in order to move with less. I do foresee myself having to leave some Blythes and coming back for them later or having them mailed to me, but it’s so hard for me to choose who to bring.

Now that the move date is less than a month, my anxiety has kicked up to over level 9000. The less time between me and my move, the less I feel prepared, and the more real the changes feel. I’m scared… Because change is terrifying. But I see it as having to choose between staying in my current city and living with depression, or relocating and dealing with anxiety. Staying feels like giving up (just because sameness is easier), and I don’t want to give up. I want to someday be happy, and I don’t think that where I’m living right now will lead me there.

The one thing that’s changed for me though, is that I’m also feeling bouts of excitement mixed in with the periodic worry. I think I know that in the future, I will be glad that I’ve taken a risk in my life, after playing it safe for so long.

I went to a Blythe meet today, and the turnout was big! We had it at a park in the city, and I was so glad that the weather was nice today (not too hot, cool breeze, slightly cloudy, NO RAIN!). It was a great meet – there were tons of dolls, new faces, and snacks! Also, there were quite a few non-blythe dolls there, including my Repro Licca chan, a Wataru, 3 Susie Sad eyes, and one yarnhead doll (named Jean Paul).

I brought two girls out today – Marina and my Repro Licca chan, who I decided to name Remington (Remi). >_< I didn’t have time to redress Marina before the meet, but I did pop Remi into one of my new Sleepforever dresses!

I was also surprised by a generous gift from my friend, who I met last year and have bonded with since over our shared love of blythe dolls, food, anime, and cute and pretty things. My friend asked me if I wanted to adopt one of her girls she was considering rehoming. I always hesitate to accept big gifts, and to me, a Blythe is a big gift. I was really touched by my friend’s generosity, and I only wish I had something equally special to give to her. This is one of the amazing things about the Blythe hobby – the fact that you can form a meaningful friendship from a simple conversation that started with the question “Have you heard of Blythe con?”

Here is my newest girl! She looks like she might be a customized Simply Vanilla. After some sleuthing by a fellow blythe enthusiast, she deducted that this girl was customized by Sugar Luna. I put the doll in my other Sleepforever purchase (matching dresses with Remi), a pair of white tights, and some black maryjanes. She has a slightly ghosty look about her… I think it’s because her coloring is quite pale. She has the cutest freckles, stormy grey painted lids, and a slightly dark mauve lip.

As soon as I got her home, I changed her pull strings (they are now a light puple), gave her pull charms, and cleaned up some scuffs on her face. I think I might name her Hadley or Hyacinth. I’m still thinking though! Finally, a girl I can dress in black and muted neutral colors! She looks like Finley’s more emo/reserved twin sister. Kind of like how Reese and Marina look like sisters. Elowyn is really the odd duck out, with her translucent face and dark brown hair.

I’m feeling quite happy with my doll family to date. I love that three of them have huge sentimental value to me, one was my very first blythe and the very first girl I’ve had customized for me, and one has the same birthday as me (birthday, release day, potato, potahto).

Life is a funny thing. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would l0ve dolls, I would have called said “no way.” By far, the blythe hobby has been my most social hobby, and one that has changed my life for the better.

I worry a lot. I am a huge worrier, and always have been for as long as I can remember. The feeling is part of my everyday, and since I’m so inside my head, it’s hard for me to discern the nonsense from the serious… So everything becomes categorized as a Code-Red-Danger-Will-Robinson situation.

I’ve been in something of a slump lately when it comes to doing those serious business things – in my case, really thinking and planning out my near future and making preparations for them. I always try to take things one step at a time, since there’s no point in freaking out about step 10 when I haven’t even gotten to step 1.

So, in procrastinating during the three day weekend, I somehow stumbled onto a popular goth youtuber’s channel. I don’t necessarily identify with this subculture, but It’s Black Friday is fun and interesting to look at, and also seems really nice and has a generally positive message and attitude in her videos. I watched quite a few of her videos, but one in particular really resonated with me:

It wasn’t her situation in particular that I identify with, but her message and her outlook that I admire. Faced with tough choices, she ultimately did what’s right for her in striving for happiness, and that’s something I think is really brave.

Another thing I did to procrastinate was redress a couple of my dolls.

Rory (top) is wearing a shirt by MINIJIJO, pants by Missblythe2012, and stock shoes. I put her hair in a fish tail braid. Elowyn (bottom) is wearing a shirt by C’mon Dolly, skirt by Missblythe2012, and stock shoes (I actually switched Elowyn’s shoes out to pink converses and put these ankle boots on Rory). I like how Rory looks in red!

I have to get back to crafting for my dolls, but making human size things (socks…) has kind of taken over my life XD. Glad to be starting the work week on a Tuesday, and I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend or just weekend (depending on where you are in the world)!

Chrissy from Kicky Resin nominated me for the Liebster Award! I’ve seen this type of post on my WordPress reader, and I had been wanting to do it myself, so this is kind of exciting ^^. Thank you Chrissy!

The Rules

Thank the person who presented you the award and link back to their blog.

Post the award image on your blog.

Answer 11 questions posted by the presenter.

Nominate 5-11 blogs with less than 200 followers.

Create 11 questions for the nominees to answer.

List these rules in your post.

Inform the people you chose of their nomination by leaving a comment on their blog and link them your post.

How did you get into the hobby?
Almost a year ago, I stumbled onto the Instagram of a friend of a friend. The Instagram featured Ever After High dolls (my gateway doll), beautifully photographed and strategically filtered, both in and out of their stock clothes. I then started to watch the actual show Ever After High, and youtube videos of vloggers who hunt for, debox, restyle, or repaint these dolls. These dolls had so much potential for fun, and they were pretty cheap so I didn’t have to think too hard about buying one. After getting my first doll, which was a C.A. Cupid, I did some more research on higher-end dolls. My search came back with three viable options: Blythe, Pullip, or BJD. At the time, the decision was really between whether I should get a Blythe or a Pullip, because BJDs were way out of my price range (at that point in time). In the end, Blythe dolls won my heart. My decision had to do a lot with the blogs, photos, and Youtube videos I combed through while trying to make up my mind. I noticed that the owners of Blythe dolls often named their girls, customized them, and gave them personalities. I also loved the range of expression on Blythe faces. Plus, that eye changing thing is pretty wild.

How many dolls do you have or plan to have?I currently have four Blythe dolls. I am expecting my fifth doll in February, and I think I’ll be good for this year. Each of my girls are very special to me, and once my fifth girl comes, I think I can be happy with my family (for the time being).

What is your dream/grail doll?
This is tough because my wishlist is always changing. As of RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, I would really love to add a BL to my collection – my favorite being Mondrian and Parco.

Is there a feature of a doll that will always win you over?
For stock dolls, I would have to say it is the complexion that wins me over. Translucent dolls seem super special to me, and in photos they seem to glow. It’s hard for me to pinpoint a feature of a custom doll that wins me over, because I need to love the whole face, and the combined aura it gives the doll, rather than an isolated feature. Custom dolls are super expensive too, so I have to love the doll absolutely in order to make that big of a purchase.

Do your dolls have their own personalities, stories, or universe?
My girls have personalities! Though sometimes a new trait pops up that I didn’t arbitrarily decide from the get-go. The girl’s personality is also largely dependent on how they look, so I guess they are their personalities personified. I haven’t thought of stories or universes for them. My dolls seem more like little house sprites that have taken residence on my shelf.

Do you prefer to buy things or make things for your dolls?
I prefer to make things, in an effort to be money-conscious (thrifty :-/). I definitely prefer the look of bought things though! I can’t really sew, so I make a ton of things by crocheting… but man, a whole outfit made of crocheted pieces looks so… “Home-sewn” or “Suzy Homemaker”, as Tim Gunn would say. I have definitely spent a lot on clothes in the past year I’ve been in the Blythe hobby, but I’m trying to be better about this.

Do you have a favorite brand or company for dolls, clothes, wigs, shoes, etc?
Blythe is my favorite doll brand. For clothes, I may have too many favorite stores to count, but I’ve made multiple purchases at Plastic Fashion and I intend to own more Button Arcade dresses. For shoes, nothing beats the fit of Takara Blythe stock shoes.

What is your favorite size of doll?
I like 1/6 scale dolls (surprise!). They’re portable, and there’s so much out there in the ways of clothes and shoes in that size.

Do you have a favorite doll in your collection?This is a tough one… The girls I have are all special to me! I’ve also purged the dolls that I felt that I’ve outgrown or no longer fit in with my collection. To be quite honest, I may have to pick Rory as my favorite, atleast for now. She is a fake base Blythe that I have customized (my second time customizing a doll). I’m quite proud of the job I did on her, and after I completed her, I’ve come to terms with the fact that extensive customizing is not for me. She has had her face carved and repainted, a set of chips changed, sleep eyes installed, boggled, gaze lifted, and a body transplant. She also received a not so great haircut, and I’m currently rooting a scalp for her. She truly feels like a doll I recreated. Since her hair is the most manageable, Rory is also the one I reach for the most to model my hats

What is more important, aesthetics or pose-ability? Or something else?
Aesthetics – my doll’s look and style has to inspire me, because a lot of how I participate in this hobby depends on my feeling inspired by my dolls. Their cuteness moves me to dress them up and figure out what clothes suit them, crochet accessories for them, photograph them, and blog about them. I don’t mind so much that their Takara bodies limit their pose-ability, but I depend on their little big faces to motivate me.

Where do you keep your dolls?My dolls live on one of my top shelves that is built into the wall of my room. It’s out of reach of my cat (very important), and since it’s built into the wall and a bit high up, the dolls are away from the sunlight.

This post will be kind of a “Things I’ve learned” rambling entry. The month of December usually puts me in a weird mood, with the holidays, and the whole saying goodbye to 2015, and having to adjust to the year being 2016 (adjust, meaning I have to remember to date things as 2016, even though my hand (out of muscle memory) demands I write 2015… is this just me?). I wanted to reminisce and talk about the things I’ve learned, and maybe how the doll hobby has affected my life, so here goes!

I feel like, with every new doll I acquire, I’m learning more about myself as a collector. Here are some of the major things I’ll be taking away this year, as my ninth month of collecting and 2015 comes to a close.

I wish I had done more research and splurged a bit more on a blythe I really wanted rather than only considering the more economical options. I kept my budget to $140, which at the time I thought was being generous. I wasn’t sure if I would like being in the Blythe hobby, so I didn’t want to invest so much money on a single doll. I guess this says a lot about hindsight, and I think I was trying to be practical. Nowadays, $140 for a doll doesn’t seem all that outrageous.

I prefer the Takara Blythe stock body over the jointed Azone or Sweetiiger body for Blythes. The jointed limbs aren’t very good at supporting a blythe doll’s big head. I haven’t tried a Licca body on my blythe dolls because I can’t decide which one to try it on.

I’m too much of a perfectionist, and way too hypercritical of myself to be customizing dolls regularly. I am also lacking in patience. All of these character traits lead to a stressful customizing experience.

I like Middies, but I don’t like having separate wardrobes. All my dolls are sisters, they must be able to share! … Just kidding. But seriously, I don’t see myself purchasing a doll that isn’t able to wear 1/6 scale clothes.

Sometimes, the Pinterest gods smile upon me and I’m able to create new dos worthy to be #hairspiration.

I’m (currently) not up to the task of being a diligent BJD owner. I think the thing with BJDs is that there’s just too much going on – there’s the stringing, interchangeable eyes, wigs, the fact that the resin will yellow, the option to suede. Simply put, I’m not cut out to be a bjd owner.

My wallet’s empty stomach aside, I’m glad to have discovered the doll hobby. I’ve made a handful of friends and met a ton of nice people because of this shared love of Blythe dolls and miniature things. I wouldn’t have thought it, but Blythe dolls get me out of the house for photography, attending meets, and even out of the state to attend my first Blythe Con. My dolls offer a creative outlet for me in crocheting, occasionally sewing, and blogging, and these things bring me joy (or atleast a reprieve from my anxiety).

Here’s to another year in the doll hobby ^^. I wish everyone happy holiday hauling, and may all your dolly hopes come to fruition! (/end cheeziness).