In vivo therapy comes to mind. Perhaps you could connect with a life coach or behavior therapist who would be willing to go out with you in social settings posing as a "friend?" You would be his "wingman" and learn from him what and what not to do in social situations until you feel comfortable enough to do things on your own. There was a movie with actor Steve Carrell that protrayed a comedic version of this. There are limitations as to what can be accomplished in an office setting. Sometimes you have to "get out of the box." Let me know how you make out.

I usually know how to act (put up a good front) in social situations. My problem is that I fear that people will see that I am afraid and will discover that I am deficient socially which feels very shameful.

So I don't see the problem as being about knowing how to act. The problem is that I have a fear of being discovered as a weirdo. This fear permeates all my social interactions making them a bad experience.

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