If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Reading old Journals/BOS's

So I keep my journal and Book of Shadows (still don't really like that name for some reason, I'm more like "reference book for magic theory" kind of person). online in the form of a private blog. That way I can use it from just about anywhere with an internet connection and re-arrange stuff and search for it as necessary, and I type much faster then write, and it has spell check!

Anyway the point of this is that I have been rereading my posts from the begging... August 2012, and marveling at how much has changed and how much as staid the same and the general tone of my writing. Have you ever done this? Gone back and reread and analyzed your old writings, seeing how you have or have not grown and changed? I find I have relaxed a lot since then. I am less judgmental of myself and others, and am more open to trying things that I might not necessarily agree with 100%, just to see if there is anything more to it then my initial outside opinion. I am slightly less likely to judge and guilt trip myself for falling away from something only to pick it up a few months or even years later. I was reminded of things I completely forgot, or miss remembered. there where a few things that brought me to tears.

So again, anyone ever do this? what where your experiences with looking back on written evidence of your past-self?

神の恵みと祖先の恩とに感謝し
明き清きまことをもって祭しにいそしむこと。Kami no megumi to sosen no on to ni kanshashi
Akaki kiyoki makoto o motte saishi ni isoshimu koto.
I am grateful for the blessings of the kami and my ancestors
And will practice my faith with brightness, purity, and sincerity.

I got back and re-read the things I can once in awhile. Sad part is written journals, tape recordings and such for me have been lost or destroyed over time since the late 1960's & early 1970. Most of the early on-line forums I belonged to have long since gone off line and even the way back machine is not to great at recovering those lost sites threads. Figure for many of us everything was hand-written and never shared beyond our immediate family or group so there were not even shared copies once the group's folded or we lost contact with those who once made up our groups. That doesn't even touch what we had on one type of computer platform that is no longer supported that we lost, for instance 8.5 inch floppy disk, 3.5 inch floppy disk, 5.5 inch floppy disk, Atari (400 & 800) or Commodore 64 computer systems, etc

I have fragments of notes and journals that probably go back to the early to mid 1990's now and that is about it. Some extracts from forum postings, email exchanges and of course things I wrote in my own word processor pages. Don't do to much of the written or tape recording anymore and still to much old school to do blogs. So yes I go back and re-read those or re-visit dream journals or journey journals to see what I wrote and see what has come to pass or how my analysis and understanding of things have changed. To see how my concepts of symbology has changed or evolved. In some ways to see how the depths of my knowledge has developed or completely dropped idea's I once held about things. In many ways I also tended to spin many of my journeys and revelations into poems or stories so have quite a few of those I re-read.

I too occasionally "go back in time". I love to read old journals it gives me perspective and shows me how young I once was.
Life changes me and molds me into something new about every 6 to 10 years.
My current status is that I've reached the "Don't care" stage of life. I just don't care what people think about how I live my life, so long as I'm living it the way I want to live it, that's what matters. I look forward to the next 10 years.

I kept handwritten journals from 1997 up until 2014 the last years is only seldom I keep writing something in my newest journal. I have several handwritten BoS. I got online late in life 2004 and some groups disappeared, forums closed, websites got cancelled, the yahoo blogs closed. So part of my internet things are just not there anymore. I prefer handwritten. My old journals are in one of my bookcases and sometimes I look into them and maybe read a little look back at things. Is an evolving thing but also coming full circle. I like a lot of things and have an interest in many things. I have studied read and am still interested in many things both pagan and non-pagan.My pagan practise is very simple and practical. In life is the simple things that matter. Before 1997 I did not have any journals I had a very good brain very good memory so no need to write anything on paper. Spring reminds me that my spring is long gone. I like the new fresh greenery new growth, paganism is for me never ending growing of insights.

I wandered away from my path for a while. I wasn't completely away, but I definitely distanced myself from my Clan (for a lot of reasons) and would only note the Sabbats with a nod and a smile. It was recently that I find that I'm being called back. Today, I pulled out my old BOS. I found articles and posts that I printed out from MW when we first started (a long time ago). Other notes I made for myself as well. It was interesting. I'm re-reading some of my books and finding different things callings to me now. I think I'm going to redo my BOS. Some of my writings I definitely see how "new" I saw things.

I've seen how my views have evolved, become more complex yet subtle and refined. it has all come together very nicely having become my own system. Thankfully I can't say that it is embarrassing looking back as i know progress tends to be in hindsight.
However their are certain words that i feel have gone done hill in modern use and become cringey to me now.