Chrissy Teigen looks like she has it all together. She’s married to the wonderful John Legend, she’s a successful model and cookbook author, she’s a co-host of Lip Sync Battle, and she’s preparing to be a designer of her own fashion line. And best of all, she’s the mom of daughter Luna, who was born in April 2016.

Teigen’s pregnancy was fantastic, and in the days following Luna’s birth, she looked great. She stepped out a week after having her daughter and people couldn’t believe it. She posted a pic of herself in front of the stove on Mother’s Day, looking like she could be on the cover of a magazine. She was her regular, goofy, gorgeous self. Or so we all thought.

Turns out, things were far from perfect. What Chrissy was putting out there was vastly opposite of what was going on behind closed doors. Teigen didn’t know it then but she was going through, and is still going through, postpartum depression and anxiety. It’s been nearly a year and now Teigen is ready to start the conversation. In an essay for Glamour magazine, Chrissy opens up for the first time about her struggles over the past year, how bad it got, and how she’s finally getting back to her former self.

She prefaces it all by saying her life is great, she’s got tons of support and loves, loves, loves her daughter and husband. But then she balances all that good with all the bad, from the emotional suffering to the physical. Her lower back, shoulder and wrist pain and zero appetite was attributed to the anxiety she was suffering. Then there was the exhaustion, the lack of energy, and the spontaneous crying, which was chalked up to the postpartum. But it was the need to apologize that struck us most. “Even though this was something I shouldn’t have to apologize for, I did want to apologize.” And that’s something a lot of — if not, all — moms can relate to.

Teigen reveals after being diagnosed in December, she was put on medication and is doing a lot better. She still has bad days but the worst is behind her. Yet Chrissy admits that she often just calls it “postpartum” because the “depression” part “scares a lot of people.” But she acknowledges, “Maybe I should say it, though. Maybe it will lessen the stigma a bit.”

You can read it in its entirety at Glamour, and you should. Not only is it beautifully written, but she perfectly conveys everything she went through, and continues to go through — and we get it, whether we’ve experienced it or not.

We get the impression that Chrissy was hesitant to talk about it. But since she’s covered everything else in her life, this was what was left and she felt the need to unburden herself. Or perhaps it’s just timely, as the Trump administration prepares to take health care away from women, she felt propelled to open up. Either way, good for her for sharing her story. We’re sure it’s hitting home for many, maybe even opening the eyes of some moms who are feeling the same way but not knowing that what they’re going through is this.