Who am I, really?

I didn’t ask you to judge me. I have never been the one to kiss up to no one. As if you are the creator of my world and can decide whether I live or die. As if you can tell me if I will go to heaven or hell. Or did I mention you acting as if you can show me the direction to go in life. I have been on my own for a long time now. I ain’t depending on anything and no one. Not because I didn’t want the help, but only because there was no one there. Imagine being a mother at sixteen. Having no choice but to go ahead and grow up. To look at my mother and now be a mother. At sixteen, are you serious?

But that was the card I was dealt. The card that said, grow up and get over it. Yeah I made some mistakes but I can’t say that I regret them. Wait, am I supposed to regret them. What are mistakes for anyway? Are they meant to hurt me, to make me cry because I have cried a time or two? Ok I am lying; I’ve cried plenty of times because of a mistake. But you know what I think you are supposed to learn from them. I learned to save time here and there, to leave him and her alone, to close my legs to them and to turn my nose up at those folks.

So I think I am owed a head nod of approval, you know. Because I feel like even though I did make some mistakes that at least I’m not repeating them. Like I said before; I didn’t ask you to judge me. Instead pray for me. Pray for me to do better. Can you do that for me?

"You cant look at me and say I want your life when you fail to cry the same tears I cried, lose the same sleep I lost, bleed the same blood I shed, and pray the same prayers I prayed. You aim for the benefits but fail to understand my struggle. You don't want my life you wanted a handout"

"As a artist I never feel satisfied. I always tend to find incompleteness in something. But the thing is that we will never be satisfied. We're not supposed to ever get satisfied. We should always want more. The minute we stop wanting more is when the blood has stopped running through our veins."

"I've taken my deepest pain and my greatest loves and laced the pages of my novels with them. My readers often say, my stories seem so real.....but they have no idea that they are inside of me. That in those moments they are apart of my existence."