The neighbor had reported seeing ‘inappropriate pruning’ in Mr Thomas’s garden some hours earlier but her concerns were dismissed by authorities as ‘a prank call’.

When an ambulance finally arrived it was discovered that Mr Thomas had sliced off his penis with a pair of garden sheers. Beside the amputated organ was a copy of Greer’s feminist bible ‘The Female Eunuch.’ Mr Thomas was taken to A and E but doctors were unable to reattach the severed member.