Don’t Use A Nickname Just Because Your Name Isn’t “American"-sounding

My
full first name is Atul (pronounced Uh-tool with no accent on any syllable.) It’s not a nickname. It’s not shortened. It’s Indian and I’m proud of it. It’s only 4 letters and 2 syllables yet many
people have a problem with it. They
often see it or hear, don’t recognize it and then proceed to guess at what it
should be (as if reading 4 letters is difficult.) Even worse, they figure out that it sounds
like “a tool,” and get that smirk and snicker because they think it’s
funny. They’re thinking “you’re a
tool.” Turns out I’m not. Do they think they’re going to make me like
them more by trying to make fun of my name? What people don’t realize is that even with
English-acceptable names, there are many that sound like other words. We have just learned to accept them without
thinking twice. To show the ridiculousness
of people making fun of my name and other foreign ones, I have listed some
common names that sound like other words and some equally asinine comments that
could be used in response to their names…

- Matt You must enjoy getting stepped on when people walk in the door.- John You’re named after a toilet- Sandy Were you at the beach lately?- Chuck What do you throw, rocks- Dick You are a jerk aren’t you?- Randy Don’t get fresh with me

- Carrie What are you carrying?- Bob Do you bob in the water like a buoy?- Doug What have you dug up?- Frank Are you telling me your honest opinion?- Mary Marry me.- Angel Touched by one lately?- Bill Are you a $100 dollar bill? Or a one dollar bill?- Sue Please don’t sue me. I
don’t have any money and didn’t do anything wrong.
- Victor Do you always win?- Will You like to write wills for people?- Mark So is that like a birthmark or a pen mark?- Phil Do you fill gas?- Rich Do you have a lot of money?- Don You now wear gay apparel?- Cam Are you part of an engine?- Guy Which guy are you?- Lisa Are you going to lease a car instead of buying one?- Nick You must have a mark from something sharp nicking you.- Paul Are you going to be a pall-bearer?- Jack You must be good at lifting up cars.- Harry Do you shave all your body hair?- Pat You must work security and pat people down.- Chris Do you like to criss-cross a lot?- Abby Are you on that show Downton Abbey?- Dawn Is that your favorite time of day?- Carol Do you sing during Christmas?- Terry I know what kind of towels you use.

So, as
you can see, my name is not alone. Just
because it’s not European in its origins doesn’t mean it needs to be changed to
accommodate ignorant people. My name is
not O’Toole either. I’m not Irish. People
don’t realize that my first name is quite common. Just Google it in conjunction with my last
name and you’ll see that there are hundreds of them in the U.S.A. If something is weird because it’s unusual,
then my name is by definition not weird.
In fact, I’ve run into other people in the U.S. who have met other
Atul’s Had I and the other Atul’s used a
nickname, these people who met us would not have realized the commonality of
the name.

I
sympathize with people when they can’t pronounce a word from another language
properly. When we grow up speaking a
language, it’s hard to speak sounds that your native language doesn’t
have. In my case, it’s hard for people
who are only familiar with English to not accent a syllable in every word. Not accenting either syllable in my name is
what is done to pronounce it properly but 95% of people I meet can’t do
it. When they try, they say my name like
ah-tool instead of uh-tool and I find that irritating so I just tell them to
say Atul like “a tool.”

My
name could have been harder to deal with either for their spelling or their
apparent pronounciation. I know people
named Shital, Hardik, Dixit, Ashfaq.
They must have a rougher time with their names. But many of them weren’t born here or their
parents didn’t expect them to live in an English-speaking country so they
didn’t consider the impact of their kid’s given name (that is if the parents
knew English.)

In
then end, all our names are unique to one or a few cultures and they should be
respected and perceived as being from another culture not as a word in another
language. It’s juvenile and I almost
can’t believe it still happens. One
could consider it a subtle, hidden form of prejudice. Make the other person feel uncomfortable and
then they won’t ever feel fully accepted.
Maybe they’ll leave and won’t come back.
It didn’t work for many of our immigrant ancestors and it still won’t
work. So I say to those of you with
unusual-sounding names from other cultures, be proud and don’t cover it up with
an American-sounding nickname. Your
grandparents would be disappointed. Fight
the ignorance and stupidity that still exists.

In
contrast, some parents give their kids American-sounding names and that’s
fine. It’s their right. But in a way, it’s denying their heritage. I suppose, using a culturally correct name that
is more acceptable here is probably the easiest way to go but that limits choices. And who doesn’t want to name their kid without
barriers?

Speaking of names and pronounciation, check out this other blog post from July, 2006.

Comments

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I agree. We're arguing on that other NPR thread. I don't like to argue on the internet. But I do agree with what you wrote here.
Whatever your name is, be proud of it and expect people to take the time to learn how to pronounce it.

Yeah, it's easy to get into arguments on-line but we both mean well. Thanks for visiting my blog and yes, you see a bit of what it's like to have a non-mainstream name. I went to your blog and it turns out we both started our blogs in 2006. Not many people keep theirs going for so long.

With the last name of Koscielecki, I have heard many different pronunciations. Some people do not even attempt to say it. But I'm proud of my last name. It's my subtle way of telling everyone that I'm 50% Polish.