how do u get your 13 year old to stop stealing

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Jammie - posted on 11/21/2013

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I have a 13 year old boy that has been lying and stealing u can catch him doing it or no he's done it or teacher will and he will deny it or it's always it wasn't me it was someone else we've tried taking things that he likes and disapline doesn't work he actually thinks it believes he's innocent all the time what can we do

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Kenna - posted on 04/04/2010

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If he/she is stealing change, then skip all the detective stuff...just explain that you know that this has been going on and it is not acceptable- then give him or her ways to earn money for themselves. Obviously they are taking money because they want to buy things. And, of course they lie about it- they do not want to get into trouble. Don't dig yourseld a hole, it is too easy to loose your kids at that age. Address it and offer a solution that teaches work ethic. If the behavior continues break his/her little hand. LOL

There are support groups for difficult teenagers out there. Usually the Youth offending Team will have info. on this in your area. A good website is www.parentlinePlus/Gotateenager, and Netmums for specific help on these things from parents or experts online or phone. I am a parent Support Worker for a YOT and help families with difficult teenagerts to manage the behaviour better and they can off-load and have someone to shout/scream/laugh/cry with when stressed who won't judge them. It's easier when you have someone to share with and encourage you. I use the ADDapt Parenting Course book with my parents, and BBC Teen Angels and Rob Parsons has some useful, easy-read books on set topics too.

Not to sound evil. If you KNOW your child is stealing and have caught him (via one of the other methods) Take his stuff. It may be necessary to start BIG. Clear his room out of everything except clothes and bed. That is all he really needs to survive, the rest is extra. Remove the door and inform him until he earns the trust back, he is will live like that. Sometimes treating him like a criminal will help him realize how wrong he has been.

I think if you know for certain he/she is stealing it, it would be best to prove it. Like mark the coins with a marker, something small that you could identify. And then if he has them on himself you could have the "evidence" on your side, and punish in the way your family sees it. I think I would take something of my childs that means something to them. You could also try offering chores for an allowance, if you do not already do so. Or reverse it and say since you stole my money, you now have to do a chore, (like he already got paid in avdance) but if you did that I think the job should be worth more than he took. That would be the punishment for "paying" yourself in advance. ex: You took $2.00, now you get to rake the yard. If he refuses, then take things away. I think you just need to act quick, and let him know you mean business. At home theres no jail time and being grounded doesn't even compaire to be locked up. This bad habit starts small and can boil over into large items.