So I was visiting my new favorite Christian book store the other day when I found a weird book there. I forgot my wallet at home, but the clerk was so happy I had been recently filled and penetrated by the Gospel that he let me have it for free

Its called the Malleus Maleficarum. At first I wasn't worried about the name because I figured it was like those Hebrew names in the bible.

But then I saw it was for Catlicks!

But then I saw it was for hunting witches, so I just wasn't sure if its ok to be reading this. Can a True Christian™ man let me know if its ok? Or if I should just throw it in the fireplace and read a cookbook instead?

"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

So I was visiting my new favorite Christian book store the other day when I found a weird book there. I forgot my wallet at home, but the clerk was so happy I had been recently filled and penetrated by the Gospel that he let me have it for free

Its called the Malleus Maleficarum. At first I wasn't worried about the name because I figured it was like those Hebrew names in the bible.

But then I saw it was for Catlicks!

But then I saw it was for hunting witches, so I just wasn't sure if its ok to be reading this. Can a True Christian™ man let me know if its ok? Or if I should just throw it in the fireplace and read a cookbook instead?

I really don't think it's worth reading. Everything you need to know about witches can be found in the KJV Bible. Remember that as a True Christian we have the God given right and responsibility to rebuke demons at anytime. That book basically puts Satan on equal footing with God and makes it look lie a True Christian™ couldn't spot a demon when they saw one. The book also talks about using astrology, divination and other evil tools in order to find witches.

Oh my! I knew as soon as I had any doubts I should have thrown this book in the fireplace. Apparently it lays out detailed instructions for women to fornicate with demons and steal men's tallywhackers!

Truly we women are an evil sex

Mr. Barnabus, I would do no such thing! If you ever find yourself in Evil Philadelphia, please allow me to bake you a pie and visit my apartment as a way of apology. Perhaps you can help show me the errors of my feminine ways with a prayer session if you ever find yourself here too!

"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

So I was visiting my new favorite Christian book store the other day when I found a weird book there. I forgot my wallet at home, but the clerk was so happy I had been recently filled and penetrated by the Gospel that he let me have it for free

Its called the Malleus Maleficarum. At first I wasn't worried about the name because I figured it was like those Hebrew names in the bible.

But then I saw it was for Catlicks!

But then I saw it was for hunting witches, so I just wasn't sure if its ok to be reading this. Can a True Christian™ man let me know if its ok? Or if I should just throw it in the fireplace and read a cookbook instead?

Good news is it's chock full of creative ways to kill sinners. Makes Saw IV look like Mr. Rogers.

Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.

Oh my! I knew as soon as I had any doubts I should have thrown this book in the fireplace. Apparently it lays out detailed instructions for women to fornicate with demons and steal men's tallywhackers!

Truly we women are an evil sex

Mr. Barnabus, I would do no such thing! If you ever find yourself in Evil Philadelphia, please allow me to bake you a pie and visit my apartment as a way of apology. Perhaps you can help show me the errors of my feminine ways with a prayer session if you ever find yourself here too!

I do have 2 sisters who live down the road from you in that cesspool of a town called Baltimore. Perhaps someday ....??

Nahum 1:2

God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.