I offer this below without comment. Possibly because I am not sure where to look or how to respond.
This is a genuine press release. I am not making this up. Really, how could I?

One observation for now: it's fascinating to see the Sydney Opera House on this list alongside casinos, leagues clubs and standard concert halls? Is this enhanced credibility for the show? Diminished reputation for the Opera House?

Meanwhile, is this the scariest thing you've seen in a long while? Or does your heart skip a beat at the thought of Leo Sayer, Rick Price, Leo Sayer, Christine Anu, Leo Sayer, John Waters and well, Leo Sayer?
Let it be? It doesn't look like they will.

MEDIA RELEASE

Phil Bathols proudly presents

LET IT BE: The Beatles Songs of Lennon & McCartney

Starring
JOHN WATERS LEO SAYER RICK PRICE CHRISTINE ANU

Directed by CRAIG ILOTT Musical Direction PAUL BERTON

LET IT BE: The Beatles Songs of Lennon & McCartney is a concert honouring one of the greatest song-writing duos of the modern era: JOHN LENNON and PAUL McCARTNEY. Just as The Beatles were the single most influential group in the modern era of contemporary music, so are Lennon and McCartney regarded as among the most important song-writing partnerships of the 20th century whose songs helped change the voice of popular music forever. In total they co-wrote an astonishing 23 No.1 singles.

LET IT BE opens on May 17 and tours nationally. This unique musical experience will be performed by an extraordinary collection of voices including internationally acclaimed singer, songwriter and entertainer LEO SAYER; one of Australia's most successful and loved actors JOHN WATERS; Aria award winner and household name CHRISTINE ANU; and one of Australia's most accredited singer/songwriters RICK PRICE.

Accompanying this dazzling group of performers will be THE DAY TRIPPER BAND especially created for the LET IT BE concert tour by Musical Director PAUL BERTON. LET IT BE will be directed by CRAIG ILOTT whose production Dealer's Choice at the Old Fitz won the Sun Herald Best Independent Production 2004 and who has just finished working as Assistant Director to Neil Armfield on the feature film Candy starring Geoffrey Rush and Heath Ledger.

LET IT BE will feature the music from the entire Beatles Lennon/McCartney catalogue with particular emphasis given to their later material, albums such as Revolver, Rubber Soul, Sgt Pepper's, The White Album and Abbey Road. As MD PAUL BERTON says "We wish to capture the magic and spirit of these songs, not to copy them."

LEO SAYER went on to say: "I have had the honour of recording half a dozen Beatles songs in my comparatively short career and every time I sing those songs I realise how great their talent was. Without the Beatles the world would be a sadder place. I knew most of the guys personally, being lucky enough to have met them when I was starting out on my career. They all gave me advice like rock n roll parents and I think I've become a better artist for knowing them. Being involved in LET IT BE is like payback time for me and yet again I get to sing songs I truly love."

Tickets for LET IT BE: The Beatles Songs of Lennon & McCartney go on sale to the general public on Thursday 2 March 2006.

Many of the advances in movie-going are working nicely. Special cinemas, such as La Premiere, Gold Class and SilverScreen, are great for special occasions.

Booking tickets on the Net can be a good way of making sure you get into a busy session and avoid queues at the box office.

When it comes to allocated seats, which operate in some cinemas, I'm not so sure. Steering viewers to the back rows while the rest of the cinema is empty feels more like it suits cinema operators (quicker exits and cleaning between sessions) than movie-goers.

But there's one more innovation I'd support: a trial of electronic jamming of mobile phones during movies.

You know the scenario all too well. A good movie reaches an absorbing moment when a phone lights up in your row. Then there's a beep and a flashing light upfront. Later, someone will lean across and surreptitiously check their messages or text back a response. At least it will seem surreptitious to them.

I sat next to someone who started knitting recently but after a few minutes of steady click, click, clicking, she responded to a polite and friendly mention that it was a little distracting.

Emergencies and occasional forgetfulness are fine. But mobile use - even conversations sometimes - are common enough to endorse moves that emerged at the recent ShoWest conference of cinema owners in Las Vegas.

Said John Fithian, president of the National Association of Theater Owners: "I don't know what's going on with consumers that they have to talk on phones in the middle of theatres."

If other moves being trialled do not work, including sweeps by ushers and comic trailers urging viewers to turn off phones, Fithian said cinema owners were planning to petition authorities to remove the block on jamming mobiles.

Let's try the same approach here.

Have you found mobile phones distracting in cinemas? Would you support electronic jamming?

This blog is now history. Click here to read and comment on the latest update of TV audiences.

Updated 10 am Friday March 31
'Lost' is losing it. Seven can no longer dismiss last week's audience drop to 1.35 million as an effect of the Commonwealth Games. Last night 'Lost' attracted just 1.47 million viewers in the mainland capitals -- its second lowest figure for the year, despite a trailer which deceptively implied that viewers would see Kate in bra and knickers.

Would any reader care to venture an opinion on why half a million viewers have dropped off since 'Lost' was launched in February? Is there something missing from the continuing story this year? Could it be that the trailers Ten is showing for 'Medium' are more interesting than Seven's trailers for 'Lost' (or more truthful, at least)? Or is it simply that in the southern States, Nine put an AFL match against it and those Mexicans prefer brawn to brains and beauty?

Seven had the biggest audience share in Sydney, but the footy helped Nine to win the night nationally, with a prime time audience share of 31.3 per cent, while Seven got 29.5 per cent, Ten got 21.8, the ABC got 12.8 and SBS got 4.6. Seven news beat Nine news in Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth.

Last night offered a fascinating insight into the tastes and tolerances of Australians. It seems they'd rather watch patients being cured of bizarre diseases than prisoners being subjected to homosexual rape and torture with broken glass. If Michael doesn't kill T-bag soon, there'll be no viewers left for 'Prison Break'.

Until last night, 'House' on Channel Ten and 'Prison Break' on Channel Seven were neck and neck. But the most brutal PB episode yet drove thousands of viewers over to the curmudgeonly diagnostician. 'House' attracted 1.52 million in the mainland capitals, against 1.27 million for 'Prison Break' -- 400,000 less than its season average.

Some of the former PB fans escaped to the ABC -- the game show 'Spicks and Specks' had one of its best nights, with a million viewers, and the ABC had its best audience share for the week.

It does seem, however, that young Australians are less squeamish than their parents. With viewers aged between 16 and 39, the gap was much smaller, with Prison Break attracting 577,000 to House's 582,000.

Ten had its best night of the year and ended up as number two in prime time audience share -- a position usually held by Channel Nine. And Channel Seven was number three -- a position it hasn't known this year. The shares were Nine 27.6 per cent, Ten 27.0, Seven 26.3, ABC 15.1 and SBS 4.1.

Nine's total was apparently helped by an AFL match which showed only in Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth, while Sydney and Brisbane saw 'Without A Trace' (that'll teach Anthony LaPaglia to support soccer).

Updated 11 am Wednesday March 29
This column has already used the joke "Why is Ten scared? Because Seven ate Nine". Today we need to adapt it a little, because Ten has started to sink its teeth into both Seven and Nine in a way that neither of the big guys anticipated.

Nine's launch of 'Survivor: Panama' on Tuesday night was supposed to grab Ten's usual audience of 16-39 year olds. But instead of setting Nine on the road to recovery, it set Australia on the road to Springfield. As it turned out, the heroes of the timeslot were a slob, a larrikin, a genius, and a mother with blue hair.

Seven attracted 1.99 million to see Simone Warne voted off 'Dancing With The Stars'. That was 200,000 less than the usual DWTS audience in the mainland capitals. Where did those viewers go? A few of the older ones may have gone to 'Survivor: Panama', which attracted 1.05 million, but the younger ones headed for a new episode of 'The Simpsons', which attracted 1.08 million at 7.30pm.

This may be because Nine is showing Survivor seven weeks later than America, and the fans have already found out what is going to happen.

Seven won the night, with 35.2 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine got 26.8, Ten got 20.1, ABC got 12.7 and SBS got 5.2. (When The Simpsons were over, the under-40s returned to DWTS, which had the biggest share of 16-39s over the whole two hours).

It appears Nine has gained nothing from the Games. Nationally, its news audience has dropped behind Seven's again (although they are neck and neck in Sydney), and 'A Current Affair' is well behind 'Today Tonight''.

Seven regained its dominance on Monday with an audience of 1.95 million for 'Desperate Housewives', although Nine's 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire', still hosted by Eddie McGuire, managed a respectable 1. 33 million and Nine's nostalgia documentary series '20 to 1' attracted 1.36 million.

Ten is enjoying audiences above 1.3 million at 7pm each weeknight for the final episodes of 'The Biggest Loser', which guarantees that it will commission a second season. It's hard to imagine that 'Big Brother' will get numbers like that when it takes over the 7pm slot after Easter.

And now Ten has proved the wisdom of using 'The Simpsons' to plug all its programming holes. After 17 years, Springfield's most functional family is Still The One with viewers under-40.

For a change, we're going to list the most watched shows with Australians aged 16-39, to demonstrate how Seven and Nine are being nipped.

(With all viewers, The Bill got 840,000 in Sydney and 255,000 in Melbourne. Very few of them are aged 16-39).

Updated 10 am Tuesday March 28
If Channel Nine was hoping for an afterglow from the Games, it was sadly disappointed by last night's audience figures. Melbourne dumped Nine even more savagely than Sydney, so that Channel Seven won news, current affairs and the night (with 31.8 per cent of the prime time audience, while Nine was on 27.4, Ten on 20.1, ABC on 14.4 and SBS on 6.3).

Nine's only consolation was a strong performance by Bert Newton's nostalgia show '20 to 1' and Eddie McGuire's 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire', both of which went swimmingly with viewers over 50.

That does not necessarily mean the viewers had been pining for Bert during his absence. At 5.30pm his 'Family Feud' was only able to draw 470,000 viewers against Deal Or No Deal's 860,000. But at least Bert did better than 'Six Feet Under', which drew only 440,000 at 10.35pm against Seven's 'Boston Legal' with 550,000. Will this make Nine feel justified in mucking around with its timeslot again?

Updated 10 am Monday March 27
The Commonwealth Games closing ceremony was watched by half as many Sydneysiders (637,000) as Melbournites (1.3 million) last night.

Still, a quarter of a million more Australians have been watching TV over the past fortnight, and if Channel Nine can keep them glued to the box, it might just turn its fortunes around this year.

On an average night last week, 3,909,500 million people in the mainland capitals were watching free to air TV - a rise of 7 per cent on an average night in February.The biggest growth (11 per cent) was with males aged under 40, who are the group most likely to be distracted from television by the Internet, video games and DVDs.

Between the opening ceremony, with 3.5 million viewers, and the closing ceremony, with 2.8 million, Nine averaged 1.8 million viewers a night to its Games coverage between 7pm and 11pm.

Apart from attracting people who don't normally watch TV, Nine stole viewers from Seven and from the ABC, whose audience share dropped from the usual 15 per cent to below 10 per cent on the most exciting Games nights.

Although Nine lost more than $20 million over the 12 days, it was able to promote its forthcoming series to a new audience and bring thousands back to its nightly news.

Before the Games, Nine's Monday to Friday news was averaging 1.2 million in the mainland capitals, beaten every night by Seven's news, with 1.4 million. Last week Nine's news averaged 1.5 million to Seven's 1.4 million. The victory was particularly sweet because it included Sydney, where Seven is usually well ahead.

But the Games failed to lift 'A Current Affair' from the doldrums. Last week it averaged 1.1 million across the capitals, while 'Today Tonight' attracted 1.5 million. Even allowing for the fact that it was not shown in Adelaide, the overal result suggests many viewers got into the habit of watching Nine's news, then switching to Seven for 'Today Tonight', then switching back to Nine for the Games. This has implications for the future of Tracy Grimshaw, who took over hosting 'A Current Affair' from Ray Martin this year.

This week Nine launches only one of the shows it promoted during the Games -- Tuesday's 'Survivor: Panama' -- but next week it will launch the Lost-style miniseries 'Triangle' and the sexy British soap 'Hotel Babylon'. (Tonight the final series of 'Six Feet Under' goes to air at 10.35pm, but that's not the sort of show Nine bothers to promote).

Seven expects to rapidly regain the 200,000 viewers who moved from its hit dramas 'Desperate Housewives', 'Lost' and 'Prison Break'.

Ten kept its nightly one million for 'The Biggest Loser', and managed more than a million for repeats of 'House' and 'Law and Order: SVU'. With its target audience of viewers aged 16 to 39, Ten has barely felt any effects from the Games.

Nine won the week with a prime time share of 43.2 per cent, with Seven on 23.2, Ten on 17.7, ABC on 11.9 and SBS on 3.9.

The Tribal Mind ratings report, by David Dale, is updated every weekday. Past columns can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . Click here for details of Australia's favourite TV shows of all time. David Dale is the author of 'Who We Are - A miscellany of the new Australia' (Allen and Unwin).

by David Dale.
This column's job is to track changes in Australian society and offer fanciful theories on what they mean. We've just discovered some social shifts on which we need your input.

At first sight, they suggest that Australians are becoming more reckless about their health, less scrupulous about their personal hygeine, more pampering of their pets and their bottoms, more adventurous in their eating habits, and less respectful of national icons. But when we've laid out the data, you'll come up with a better explanation.

Every couple of years, the ACNielsen research organisation does a massive study of what Australians buy in supermarkets, and lists the Top 100 most purchased products. When this column discussed the chart last year, we said it painted this portrait of a day in the life of the average Australian family (mum, dad, two kids):

In the morning they deodorise with Rexona, shave with Gillette, absorb with Libra and wipe with Sorbent. They wrap the baby in Huggies nappies. At breakfast they sip Golden Circle fruit juice and Nescafe, pour Pura milk on Kelloggs Nutri-Grain and feed Pedigree pal and Whiskas to the pets.

For lunch they put Kraft slices on Tip Top bread and snack on Arnott's Shapes, Yoplait yoghurt and Cadbury chocolates, washing them down with Coca Cola. One family member puffs Longbeach cigarettes. For dinner they eat San Remo pasta with Leggo tomato paste and Bird's Eye frozen peas, followed by Peter's icecream with Goulburn Valley canned fruit. Then they brush with Colgate and switch on Home and Away.

That's still a useful checklist to help politicians and pundits distinguish between "the ordinary Australian" and those "unAustralians" they keep banging on about. But now we must confuse the issue by examining how shopping habits have changed in two years. See what you make of this:

What have we here? Waning commitment to heritage brands. A continental smallgoods boom. A decline in cleanliness. A rise in fatty snacking, soft-drink swigging and unfiltered smoking. Posher petfood. Thicker loo paper. And what are we powering with all those batteries?

Your guess is better than ours. Send us your explanation, below. The three readers who come up with the most interesting scenarios to encompass those changes will win a copy of the guidebook, Who We Are -- A miscellany of the new Australia by David Dale (Allen and Unwin).

The Tribal Mind column appears every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald, and earlier columns are at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . For a quiz on the films, books, songs and shows preferred by most Australians, click here.

Hidey Ho Campers! This week it is Film Fondue by request as two of our readers, Meredith Jones and Jo Thornely, have suggested top five summer camp films.

Whether your summer camp preference leans towards youthful fun, an axe through the skull, gratuitous nudity or a combination of all, you can be guaranteed that the film that fits the bill will be cheap and cheesy and circa 1980.

What was it about that era that spawned so many off-shoots of summer camp goodness?

We apologise that we are a day late with this blog but we were delayed by Ben's attempts to explain the plot of the Friday the 13th series to Jo. The internal logic, or lack thereof, has had her marginally stumped. If she asks any more questions about where Jason found the tea lights for his shrine, or why he wears a mask, he swears he will drown her in Crystal Lake.

So, write to us. Give us your summer camp favourites and we'll get back to you on Friday with ours.

Also, feel free to post your understanding of the Friday the 13th plot logic to Jo so that Ben can have a well-earned break.

This was emailed around today and I think is worth noting ahead of Somali-raised, Canadian hip hop act K'naan's tour here next month. It's not posted here as some "aren't those foreigners funny" way either. Lord knows anyone who's come in contact with Australian bouncers understands you're often only a steroid pill's-width away from facing the same treatment as that allegedly meted out by the Swedes.

This is particularly true if you've got any "colour" or are one of us now referred to - irrespective of your actual background, religion or fondness for hommus - as one of "middle eastern appearance".
Does the following story - where I've removed the name of the venue so as not to incur any legal bills in krona - ring any bells for you? Is anyone really surprised this happened?

International Touring Band Assaulted in Racial Violence by Swedish Security
On the evening of March 14th, 2006, Somali/Canadian recording artist, K'naan, and his manager, Sol Guy, were physically attacked by security guards working for the ... venue in Gothenburg, Sweden.
Guy and K'naan are currently on a European tour as the support act for Grammy Award winning reggae star Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley. Having completed the show that evening they were leaving an area of the venue when K'naan was shoved out the door by a security guard and told that they had to leave. Confused by the security guard's actions, Guy replied that they still had equipment and computers in the venue and needed to access another part of the venue in order to gather their things. In an effort to avoid further unprovoked physical assault Guy attempted to walk around the security guard. Rather than act in the professional manner required of his position, the security guard instead chose to rally his colleagues in violence.
While K'naan was restrained and assaulted by two security guards, Guy was dragged into a kitchen area by two other security guards and subsequently kicked and punched in the ribs, jaws, head and face. He was then handcuffed and made to lie on a dirty floor littered with bits of glass.
The Gothenburg city police were called and upon their arrival took only the security guards' statement and then arrested Guy without explaining what it was that he was being charged with. Upon arrival at the police station Guy was strip-searched and incarcerated in isolation for approximately three hours before he was allowed to make his statement. Guy remained in custody for approximately six hours in total at which point no charges were filed and he was released. While we are not privy to Swedish law, we view the actions of the Gothenburg police as unjust.
We feel that the action of the security guards of the venue were not only unprofessional, arrogant and unjustifiably violent but also racist in nature. Guy and company were not random crowd-goers but performing artists contracted to work that evening! The disrespect, violence and racism demonstrated by the security guards of the venue can at no point be justified. We call for the termination of the employees in question and for the boycott of future use of the venue. Our experience at the venue was undignified and scarring and we will not silently endure this kind of injustice, lest the next brother that comes along endure such obvious hatred.

Herald reviewer Bernard Zuel says it's hard to get excited or care about Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour's solo album On An Island. He gives the album just two-and-a-half stars. Should Gilmour have bothered? Does anyone indeed care? Has he been relevant since splitting with Roger Waters?

Zuel wrote: "A David Gilmour album is not a promise of revelation. Nor do those who have persisted with Gilmour and his old band, Pink Floyd, since the '80s split from Roger Waters, want such a thing. They will find the fluid guitar, the languid melodies and the slightly angsty emotional base familiar and comforting. For those who are no longer devotees, however, it's hard to get excited. Or care."

This blog is now history. Click here to read and comment on the latest update of TV audiences.

Updated 10 am Friday March 24

Ana-Lucia may be tough. She may be able to smash Sawyer. But she's no match for Jana Pittman. And Cathy Freeman leaves them both for dead.

Pittman's gold medal performance in the 400 metre hurdles last night kept 1.99 million viewers in the mainland capitals watching Channel Nine's coverage of the Commonwealth Games. Under the circumstances, Seven did well to hold 1.35 million for the story of how Ana-Lucia became leader of the second group of survivors in 'Lost'. (Back in 2000, Cathy Freeman's gold medal-winning run attracted 6.0 million).

Those who saw 'Lost' last night can now theorise that the mysterious group known as "The Others" deliberately pulled the plane off course (with that electro-magnetic generator?) and made it crash on the island, so they could recruit certain "good" passengers into their experiment.

By contrast, the plotline of The Games is becoming tediously linear. We predict that after next Sunday, Nine will take this show off air, or run it irregularly after 10.30 pm, forcing fans to illegally download The Games from the internet.

Nine won last night with 44.4 per cent of the prime time audience, with Seven on 26.1, Ten on 17.3 and the ABC on a pathetic 8.4 per cent (which gives a clue as to where most of the Games viewers are coming from). While Pittman was hurdling, 'The West Wing' sank to a new low of 295,000, while a repeat of 'Inspector Rex' on SBS drew 324,000 (but Rin Tin Tin rated better in the 1960s).

Wentworth Miller may be hot, but John Steffensen is hotter. Miller's return in 'Prison Break' on Channel Seven last night managed a respectable 1.19 million viewers in the mainland capitals, but Steffenson's performance in the 400 metres, as part of Nine's Commonwealth Games coverage, drew 1.89 million.

Seven and Ten must conspire to break Michael Scofield out of jail so he can join the diagnostic team of Dr Greg House. THAT would be an unbeatable combination.

Nine won the night, but its prime time audience share is shrinking every day. Last night it got 39.5 per cent to Seven's 25.0 per cent and Ten's 20.1 per cent.

We've got it! The formula that will produce the highest rating TV series of all time. It's called 'Swimming With The Stars'. It's filmed in a pool. You get a bunch of medal-winning athletes to coach a bunch of faded celebrities in relay-racing, and the viewers vote off the ones who don't drown.

On Tuesday night a collection of old clips from 'Dancing With The Stars' attracted 1.3 million viewers in the mainland capitals against Commonwealth Games swimming that attracted 1.9 million. Potentially, that's a weekly audience of 3.2 million for our show. When Channel Nine steals the idea (it certainly beats any of the planned programs listed below), remember where you read it first. And we'd like to hear your suggestions for other formula-combinations that might grab ratings: Commander-in-Prison? McLeod's Saints? CSI: Wisteria Lane?

Nine won the night with an audience share of 42.1 per cent in Sydney and 49.9 per cent in Melbourne. And Nine's news beats Seven's news in Sydney -- the first sign that the Games are having spinoff benefits outside Melbourne.

Torvill and Dean's Dancing on Ice, in which the former Olympic skaters coach celebrities in routines, and the viewers vote them off, "with the contest building to an all glamour grand finale".

American Inventor, in which American Idol host Simon Cowell seeks examples of Yankee ingenuity.

Hotel Babylon, a comedy soap set in a London grand hotel.

Hello Goodbye, a "heartwarming" documentary series about people arriving and departing at Sydney Airport.

Survivor: Panama, the latest series of the pioneering "reality juggernaut", which starts next Tuesday.

Triangle, a miniseries in which Sam Neill plays an eccentric billionaire who tries to solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle.

Two Twisted, Bryan Brown's series of spooky stories in Twilight Zone style.

The New Adventures of Old Christine, the latest sitcom from Seinfeld's Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Other programs foreshadowed earlier in the year by Nine are Rome, a miniseries about the rise and fall of Julius Caesar; two quirky sitcoms called Weeds and The War At Home; Close To Home, a 'Law and Order' style drama about sexy young prosecutors; Invasion, about aliens in a small US town; and E-Ring, a 'West Wing' style drama about military planning in the Pentagon.

Updated 10 am Tuesday March 21

Channel Seven may be questioning its wisdom in putting its Desperate Housewives up against Nine's Golden Girls. The women's swimming finals at the Commonwealth Games attracted 2.2 million viewers in the mainland capitals last night, while Lynette, Bree, Gabrielle and Susan attracted 1.4 million -- half a million fewer than last week.

The Melbourne-Sydney viewing difference was stronger than ever. The southerners watched Nine news ahead of their dose of Games, while the The Big Greedy watched Seven news and The Biggest Loser before splitting between the Housewives and the Games.

Nine won the night everywhere, but its prime time audience share in Sydney was 43.5 per cent (with Seven on 25.0 and Ten on 15.1) while in Melbourne Nine's share was 51.7 per cent (with Seven on 22.9 and Ten on 12.0).

That old Melbourne-Sydney rivalry issue has reared its head again -- and Channel Nine is its latest victim. Nine was reconciled to losing more than $20 million on its 12 days of Commonwealth Games coverage, because it hoped there'd be "spinoff benefits" -- a chance to promote its new shows to a big national audience and bring viewers back to older favourites such as 'Today', 'A Current Affair' and the news.

The spinoff benefits are happening bigtime in Melbourne, where on Thursday and Friday, Nine's news and 'A Current Affair' easily beat Seven's news and 'Today Tonight', and on Friday, 'Today' almost caught up with Seven's 'Sunrise'.

But Sydney is rapidly losing interest in the Games, with TV audiences less than two thirds of the Melbourne figures. Nationally, Seven, Ten and the ABC are surprised at how well they are doing in what should have been Nine's Fortnight of Triumph.

On Sunday, Nine held 53 per cent of the prime time audience in Melbourne (with Seven on 17, Ten on 16 and the ABC on 12), but only 41 per cent of the prime time audience in Sydney (with Seven on 21, Ten on 18 and ABC on 16).

The ABC did particularly well on Sunday out of Sydney's flight from the Games, attracting 294,000 viewers at 8.30pm to its drama 'Ahead of the Class'.

At the same time, Channel Ten drew 316,000 to a repeat episode of 'Law and Order: SVU'. Between them, Ten and the ABC easily outweighed Nine's audience of 535,000 watching the evening session of the Games in Sydney.

Against Nine's Games coverage last week, Ten found that 'The Biggest Loser' and 'Medium' each attracted a million viewers -- which is barely down on their usual audience.

Seven opted out of the ratings race for three days, replacing its hit shows 'Prison Break' and 'Lost' with a lame science fiction miniseries. But its news and 'Today Tonight' were still national winners. On Friday, Seven's morning show 'Sunrise' drew 134,000 viewers in Sydney and 93,000 viewers in Melbourne. Nine's Today drew 84,000 in Sydney and 88,000 in Melbourne.

Seven gets back in the game this week with new episodes of 'Desperate Housewives', 'Lost' and 'Prison Break', although 'Dancing With The Stars' tomorrow will be a collection of old clips.

(Although the two weeks of the Commonwealth Games are classified by the ratings measurement agency OzTAM as an "official" ratings period, the advertising industry does not allow Nine to include its current success in calculations for advertising rates over the whole year.)

Will that be enough to save Nine from the onslaught of Seven and Ten?

The battle of the capitals: Most watched shows, week to Sunday March 19

The Tribal Mind column by David Dale appears every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald. You can read previous columns and a daily ratings update at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A miscellany of the new Australia (Allen and Unwin)

The latest movie from the Oscar-winning actress, Aeon Flux, had a so-so opening on the weekend. The movie version of an animated television series took just $937,000, well behind the $1.1 million for the low-profile horror movie When A Stranger Calls.

Just as Halle Berry in a slinky superhero outfit was not enough to save Catwoman, Aeon Flux shows that poor word of mouth will overcome star power and sex appeal.

Despite a second Oscar nomination in consecutive years and a promotional visit, we haven't warmed to Theron lately. When it came to the drama North Country, Australia said "no way" to Charlize Theron in a miner's outfit.

But there is another issue making us jaded this year: so many movies opening in cinemas seem
familiar.

No wonder many of the Oscar contenders, including Brokeback Mountain and Walk The Line (which Oscars host Jon Stewart called Ray for white folks), seemed like a breath of fresh air.

The Hollywood logic is that familiar source material helps get us into cinemas. It creates awareness in a crowded market and taps an existing fan base. And it works for, say, The Chronicles of Narnia or the Harry Potter movies.

But the trend has gone too far. Too many movies reaching cinemas are too familar.

That's one of the challenges for Hollywood if they want to keep us buying cinema tickets rather than waiting for DVD. Give us something fresh, something we can get enthusiastic and excited about.

Too many familiar movies? Sick of remakes, sequels and comic book adaptations? Is Hollywood too obsessed with marketing movies rather than making great ones?

by David Dale.
There's a theory going round that Australians are watching less television than they did a couple of years ago -- that instead of celebrating the golden anniversary of our favourite form of entertainment, we are committing regular acts of infidelity with younger distractions such as the internet, the DVD and the video game.

The theory leapt into this column's mind when we noticed that on a recent Sunday night, no program was able to attract more than 1.4 million viewers in the mainland capitals. This looked like a transformation of the Australian way of life. Not so long ago, it was normal for several shows on any Sunday to attract audiences close to two million.

When you think of the legendary TV successes of the past 20 years -- SeaChange, The Block, The Comedy Company, 60 Minutes, Nine Sunday news, Backyard Blitz, the finals of Big Brother and Australian Idol -- you realise the one thing they had in common was the night they were on. And then, of course, there was The Sunday Night Movie, such a universal family ritual in the first four decades of television that it become known as "the national corroboree". (Click here for details of Australia's favourite TV shows of all time).

Is the recent Sunday decline part of a general drift away from television, or just a one night aberration? We decided to test the vanishing viewer theory, by comparing the first four weeks of the 2006 ratings season (before the Games started) with the first four weeks of the 2004 ratings season.

At this point two years ago, the most watched series were CSI (9) with 1.9 million viewers; Friends (9) 1.9m; 60 Minutes (9) 1.8m; Nine Sunday news (9) 1.8m; and Without A Trace (9) 1.6m. Doesn't that fill you with nostalgia for a kinder, simpler time? In 2006, the most watched series are Dancing With The Stars (7) 2.2m; Desperate Housewives (7) 1.8m; Lost (7) 1.6m; Prison Break (7) 1.5m; and CSI (9) 1.5m.

To measure total viewing trends, the boffins in the TM Research Laboratory averaged the number of people watching TV each night during the last three weeks of February and the first week of March. The results appear in the table below. Here's the essence of it: on a typical night early in 2004, 3,547,000 Australians in the mainland capitals were watching broadcast TV. Early in 2006, 3,506,000 people were watching.

Apparently 41,000 viewers have disappeared from free to air TV. BUT between early 2004 and early 2006, 160,000 more people started watching pay TV. When you put it all together, you get a rise in total viewing of 129,000, or three per cent. If you confine the research to viewers aged between 16 and 39, you find a similar pattern -- Nine down a lot; Seven up a lot; broadcast TV down a little; Pay TV up a lot; total under-40s viewing up 1.5 per cent.

So it would seem that Australians are not replacing a traditional medium with more modern amusements. We're just adding to the complexity of our entertainment diet.

The Tribal Mind column by David Dale appears every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald. You can read previous columns and a daily ratings update at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A miscellany of the new Australia (Allen and Unwin). Click here to read and comment on the latest update on TV audiences.

You can't help but look. More explosions than cracker night, more pile-ups than a pancake parlour and more stunts than federal politics. Yessiree, we are talking blockbusters and we want to know which budget-bulging monstrosities make you work up a slather.

Some may be more subtle than others but by and large these films are not famed for their restraint. With more money to spend on production than many governments have to spend on infrastructure, you expect a spectacle not arthouse navel-gazing.

The plots may be preposterous and the acting unintentionally hilarious but that just adds to its charm. Besides, there are too many other distractions to pick on the script or sub-standard performances.

So don't be shy, write to us and share your guilty pleasure blockbusters - the ones that you can't help but cheer as the ripped action star tears holes into evil dudes with state of the art artillery, then plucks his distressed damsel from certain death with one hand while defusing the bomb that threatens a train packed with innocent commuters with the other.

The ancient English love story Tristan & Isolde might just be the first period epic that delivers the goods since Gladiator revived the genre. But King Arthur, Alexander and Kingdom of Heaven have all failed before. What went so wrong with those films?

I am not normally a bloodthirsty man. I have come to forgive Terry Lamb for a certain incident in a grand final and no longer insist that he be eviscerated. Necessarily. However, a recent article in the Guardian newspaper in the UK got me thinking about revenge.

Is it true that the children of Gen X and Y will be turning to previously reviled - quite legitimately so any sane person would say - musical genres to wreak seven kinds of hell on their oh so hip, oh so musically switched on parents? Bring back Air Supply? Give me some more of that Marilyn? Melissa Tkautz your time is now?

Is this post-post irony? Is this fair? Whatever you call it, it does seem inevitable. Born to be mild it is then. Which means maybe those of us in the firing line or likely to be in the next 10 years or so need to adopt the Bush Doctrine of pre-emptive strike and the Howard Doctrine of "we will decide who we allow [to play music] in our country/house/car".

I say hunt down the old vinyl, clear out the CD shelves, collect those dusty VHS tapes, burn immediately the posters and ticket stubs and attack the dial of your radio permanently disabling reception of any "golden oldies" stations.

And if you see anyone with an Afro about to sing I'm All Out Of Love hit hard, hit often. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. Remember that.

By the way, those of you who contributed to the discussion a few weeks back on the value of awards to music (Prizes Shmizes: do we need another backslap?) may be interested in a late arriving response from APRA, the publisher/songwriter end of the industry.

No, that's not the conversation backstage at the Oscars. It's what we can expect in cinemas over the next school holidays: dog movies.

As Australian film distributors are only too aware, holidays take place at different times across the country. That meant The Shaggy Dog, a family comedy about Tim Allen turning into a sheep dog, and Lassie, starring Peter O'Toole and Samantha Morton, opened on the weekend. The two remakes started their run in Victoria and are heading to NSW for the next school holidays.

Of course, there have been some great movie and television dogs over the years. Think Beethoven, Hooch, Scooby-Do, K-9, Otis, Rin Tin Tin, Perdy, Pongo and all those dalmation pups, Benji, Napoleon, the pug from Men in Black II and Fly and Rex from Babe. (There's an exhaustive list here)

Except for Cujo, movie dogs are often fun, lovable and very cute. More human than the humans on screen.

In the dog show spoof Best in Show, the canines were as entertaining as their owners. Remember the dog that drifted from town to town in the old TV series The Littlest Hobo?

But the latest dog movies haven't done well. The Shaggy Dog took a lacklustre $230,000 in 89 cinemas last weekend.

Poor Lassie took just $10,300 on 43 screens. By my calculations, that's around 22 tickets per cinema. What a bitch!

That has to be close to a record low opening for a movie on that many screens, although the distributors say it was only on "very limited sessions" and took another $27,000 on Monday.

Much more successful, by the way, was a panther. The Steve Martin version of The Pink Panther - another remake - opened on top of the charts, taking $1.34 million.

Looking forward to the new Lassie? How does she compare to other great movie dogs? Why do bitches, mutts and mongrels usually work so well on screen?

This blog is now history. Click here to read and comment on the latest update on TV audiences.

The ratings race, updated 10 am Friday March 17

Melbourne enjoys the Commonwealth Games more than Sydney. The evening session yesterday was watched by 769,000 southerners and 601,000 Sydneysiders. Australians less enamoured of sport escaped into ghostbusting on Channel Ten and sexy gambling on Channel Seven.

Nine won the night with a prime time audience share of 45.8 per cent, with Seven on 20.7 per cent, Ten on 19.3, ABC on 9.5 and SBS on 4.8. But the Games are not helping NIne recover its former dominance in the 6pm news hour -- Seven news and 'Today Tonight' still beat Nine's equivalents. Nor are the Games much use at breakfast time -- Seven's 'Sunrise' drew 386,000 viewers yesterday to 214,000 viewers for Nine's 'Today'.

Aussies still love a spectacle -- 3.5 million of us in the mainland capitals tuned in to the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games on Wednesday night.

That figure (OzTAM's preliminary estimate) makes the ceremony the number three most watched show of the 21st century, just after the Australian Open tennis final of 2005 and the Rugby World Cup final of 2003 -- but well behind the opening ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics, which averaged 6 million in the mainland capitals. (Click here for details of Australia's favourite TV shows of all time).

It was the biggest audience Channel Nine has achieved for any program this decade, but the triumph is more symbolic than financial.

Nine paid around $55 million for the rights to show the Games, and will spend at least $20 million on production costs. It is expected to sell about $55 million worth of advertising time. This week and next are officially a "non-ratings period", and any audience boosts over this time can't be counted towards the annual figures on which networks base their advertising rates.

Still, Nine may be feeling it was worth the $20 million it will lose on the Games just for the opportunity to promote its new programs to viewers who had been locked onto Seven in recent weeks. Nine's boss, Eddie McGuire, sent this congratulatory message to the channel's staff on Thursday: "We should all be proud of the broadcast, it looked fantastic, setting the scene for eleven great days of competition. Events like this when we all come together, is why we are 'Still the One'. This is the launch for the new generation at Nine."

Seven may feel that its decision to give up the fight for two weeks was vindicated when its alternative to the Opening Ceremony, a miniseries called Final Days of Planet Earth, drew only 444,000 viewers. But Ten managed a respectable 1.0 million for a repeat episode of House at 8.30pm, suggesting that not all viewers are suckers for sporting spectacles. (And the revelation that there are 444,000 hard core sci-fi freaks in this country will fascinate the pay TV industry, which would love to attract even half that audience. Is there a 24 hour sci-fi station in our future?).

Nine won the night, of course, with a prime time audience share of 51.6 per cent, followed by Ten on 17.4, Seven on 16.9, the ABC on 10.7 and SBS on 3.3.

The ceremony did best in Melbourne, where it averaged 1.5 million viewers, followed by Sydney with 888,000; Brisbane with 531,000; Adelaide with 316,000; and Perth with 237,000 -- a mix very similar to the way the nation watched last year's AFL Grand Final.

During the ceremony, Nine announced these imminent additions to its schedule:

Torvill and Dean's Dancing on Ice, in which the former Olympic skaters coach celebrities in routines, and the viewers vote them off, "with the contest building to an all glamour grand finale".

American Inventor, in which American Idol host Simon Cowell seeks examples of Yankee ingenuity.

Hotel Babylon, a comedy soap set in a London grand hotel.

Hello Goodbye, a "heartwarming" documentary series about people arriving and departing at Sydney Airport.

Survivor: Panama, the latest in the pioneering "reality juggernaut" series.

Triangle, a miniseries in which Sam Neill plays an eccentric billionaire who tries to solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle.

Two Twisted, Bryan Brown's series of spooky stories in Twilight Zone style.

The New Adventures of Old Christine, the latest sitcom from Seinfeld's Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

(Tell us, below, if you think that lineup will save Nine's bacon this year).

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music. The relentless march of 'Dancing With The Stars' towards world domination continued last night, with the audience in the mainland capitals rising to 2.27 million to see toetapping tennis trouper Alicia Molik voted off. Perhaps they were encouraged by this column's suggestion yesterday that the show improves the "emotional intelligence" of viewers (click here for that discussion).

Channel Seven won the night with a prime time audience share of 40.3 per cent (Nine on 21.2, Ten on 19.9, ABC on 13.5, SBS on 5.1) but is resigned to losing the next 12 nights as Nine begins its Commonwealth Games coverage.

The combination of Andrew Denton and Bono should have attracted huge numbers to the ABC last night. Denton's last edition of 'Enough Rope', with Billy Connolly, managed 1.2 million viewers, and you'd have thought the leader of U2, one of the world's most successful rock groups, would be as interesting as the Scottish comedian. But according to preliminary ratings figures for last night, the audience was a mere 772,000 in the mainland capitals. What happened?

Apparently Bono's fans preferred the more conservative political stance of 'Commander in Chief', which drew 1.3 million at 9.30 pm. Perhaps the ABC needed to do more to let the fans know the interview was on -- it was a last minute replacement for a documentary on the middle east.

Otherwise, it was Monday night business as usual, with Seven drawing 31.1 per cent of the prime time audience, Nine on 27.7 per cent, Ten on 19.9, ABC on 15.1 and SBS on a high 6.2 (because of Mythbusters and South Park).

Something very peculiar is happening on Sunday nights. The end of the weekend used to be the time when Australians did most of their TV viewing. Until last year, it was normal for several programs on any Sunday to attract two million viewers in the mainland capitals. Last night, all programs were below 1.4 million.

Examine the most watched list for Sunday March 12, 2006 and you have to conclude that more than half a million people in the mainland capitals have vanished from the planet or have suddenly stopped watching TV:
1 Nine news Sunday (9) 1.4m
2 Seven news Sunday (7) 1.4m
3 Where Are They Now (7) 1.3m
4 CSI (9) 1.3m
5 60 Minutes (9) 1.2m
6 Ghost Whisperer (7) 1.2m
7 CSI Miami (9) 1.1m
8 Movie: Bringing Down The House (7) 1.1m
9 Clever (9) 1.1m
10 Life in the Undergrowth (ABC) 1.1m
OzTAM mainland capitals: preliminary figures, subject to correction with final start and finish times.

Nine won the night -- as it does most Sundays -- with 29.3 per cent of the prime time audience, followed by Seven on 28.9 per cent, Ten on 20.1 per cent, ABC on 18.5, and SBS on 3.2. But they were all slices of a much smaller pie. Where did the Sunday viewers go?

Australia's viewing pattern last week

After smashing Channel Nine into the ground for the first three weeks of the official TV ratings season, Channel Seven has decided to retreat from the field of battle. Seven believes Australians are so sports-mad there is no point in offering a strong alternative during Nine's exclusive coverage of the Commonwealth Games, so it is taking off some of its most popular programs for 12 days, starting Wednesday.

On Wednesday night, which is usually topped by 'Prison Break', Seven will counter Nine's Opening Ceremony with a science fiction mini-series, 'The Final Days of Planet Earth'. Ten's alternative will be a repeat of an old episode of House. On Thursday, Seven will replace 'Lost' with part two of 'Planet Earth'.

"Nine can do high jumps for a while -- well, a week and a bit, at least," Seven's corporate affairs director, Simon Francis, said yesterday. "We are taking a number of key programs out of the schedule this week, including 'The Amazing Race', 'Lost' and 'Prison Break'. Next week 'Dancing With The Stars' will be a retrospective of past programs, not an original episode in the current round."

Seven is confident its audience will return as the Games wind down, and will show new episodes of Desperate Housewives, Lost, Prison Break and The Amazing Race next week.

Last week, Seven attracted 30.0 per cent of the prime time audience, with Nine on 27.3 per cent, Ten on 22.3, ABC on 15.4 and SBS on 5.0.

Seven's top shows were 'Dancing with the Stars', which attracted 2.2 million in the mainland capitals, and 'Desperate Housewives' (1.8m); Nine had 'CSI' (1.4m) and 'McLeod's Daughters' (1.4m); Ten had 'House' (1.4m) and 'NCIS' (1.3m); the ABC had 'Poirot' (1.1m) and 'Australian Story' (1.0m); and SBS had 'Mythbusters' (544,000) and 'Inspector Rex' (429,000).

The Tribal Mind column by David Dale appears every weekday on The Sydney Morning Herald website. You can read earlier columns at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . David Dale is the author of 'Who We Are -- A miscellany of the new Australia' (Allen and Unwin).

by David Dale.
Cast aside your guilt. Stop being ashamed of enjoying commercial TV shows, big budget movies, and fast computer games. Far from dumbing down Western civilisation, those mass entertainments are making us Better People.

That's the argument in a new book by American anthropologist Steven Johnson. The title says it all: Everything Bad Is Good For You -- How Popular Culture is Making Us Smarter (published by Penguin).

Johnson says hit movies such as the Lord of the Rings trilogy and TV dramas such as CSI, Lost, and The Sopranos are far more intellectually demanding than their counterparts of 30 years ago. Reality shows such as Survivor and Big Brother are "elaborately staged group psychology experiments" that boost the "emotional intelligence" of the viewer: "Just as The Sopranos challenges the mind to follow multiple threads, the reality shows demand that we track multiple relationships, since the action of these shows revolves around the shifting feuds and alliances between more than a dozen individuals."

Video games such as Sims and Grand Theft Auto teach organisational skills and the fundamentals of scientific method - forming and testing hypotheses. Sitcoms such as Seinfeld and The Simpsons are crammed with tangential references and are as multi-layered as the richest poetry, because they are designed to be seen many times.

Johnson summarises the conventional wisdom of our day: "Pop culture caters to our base instincts; mass society dumbs down and simplifies. The rarer flowerings of 'quality programming' only serve to remind us of the overall downward slide .... to an increasingly infantilised society."

But the facts point to exactly the opposite conclusion: "The trend is towards greater cognitive demands, more depth, more participation. Think of it as a kind of positive brainwashing: the popular media steadily making our minds sharper, as we soak in entertainment usually dismissed as so much lowbrow fluff."

Take Finding Nemo, the biggest selling DVD of all time in Australia. "You can watch Finding Nemo dozens of times and still detect new information with each viewing, precisely because the narrative floats so many distinct story arcs at the same time. And where the child's mind is concerned, each viewing is training him or her to hold those multiple threads in consciousness, a kind of mental calisthenics ... Finding Nemo isn't the fastest selling DVD of all time in spite of its complexity; it's the fastest selling DVD because of that complexity."

OK, so far, so convincing. How might we apply the optimism of Everything Bad Is Good For You to the most popular piece of entertainment currently consumed by Australians: Dancing With The Stars?

1 Intellectually challenging? This is hard to sustain. The plotline is linear, the maths are simple and there are few layers of meaning to encourage a second viewing. However ...

2 Emotionally educational? We share the raw reactions of the dancers to the judges' comments and the viewers' votes. The embarrassment of Simone Warne in episode one was painfully fascinating.

3 Requiring active engagement instead of passive absorption? To participate in DWTS, you need to analyse the performances and phone in your judgement. Or at least figure out how you'd vote if you got around to phoning.

Two out of three ain't bad for a show that attracts 2.2 million viewers in the mainland capitals. Maybe Steven Johnson is right. Or does agreeing with him only prove we've been terminally dumbed down? Tell us your reaction, below.

For a quiz on the films, books, songs and shows preferred by most Australians, click here.

Click here for the answer to whether Australians are watching more or less television these days.

The Tribal Mind by David Dale is published every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald, and previous columns can be found at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A miscellany of the new Australia (Allen and Unwin)

To join a discussion on whether the host is more important than the chef, click here.

For generations, film-makers have constructed their characters' emotional journeys along the path of a physical journal. Whether it be Route 66 or the Yellow Brick Rd, there is nothing like a long stretch of highway leading into a distant horizon for self-discovery, angst and dysfunction breeding.

And let's face it, the more dysfunction the better.

What are your favourite dysfunctional road trip movies? Which flicks make you want to tie a silk scarf around your head, pop the top off a convertible and hit the road? Or in the case of many of the celebrated examples of the genre, tote a semi-automatic and blaze through the landscape on mighty crime wave.

Give us your best and then tune back in on Friday when we give you ours.

Well, the Academy Awards have been and gone and slapped Hollywood on the back. The way they go on you'd think there's no film industry outside Tinseltown. The French Film Festival, which opened in Sydney last night, screens the best recent French films, so surely there must be some gems there? Or are Holywood films really better? Have French films taken a nosedive in recent years?

This blog is now history. Click here to read and comment on the latest update on TV audiences.

Ratings update 10 am Friday March 10:

Today we hear that Nine boss Eddie McGuire has accepted the resignation of Sandra Levy as head of program development for Nine. Is he creating a space for Bert? And if so, what kind of programs would Bert create?

Bert's Family Feud achieved a record low of 438,000 at 5.30pm yesterday. Thursday is now Bert Newton's worst day, possibly because that's when his most loyal followers go late night grocery shopping (unless they are expressing their irritation at the promo which makes BFF look like The Jerry Springer Show).

The problem for Nine is how to terminate BFF without causing distress to an ageing icon. The option we reported yesterday - extended sick leave - would be too implausible. Can you help? Send us your suggestions, below, on the best way for Bert to exit gracefully, and we'll pass them on to Eddie McGuire.

Meanwhile, Seven's Lost seems to be in recovery mode. Last week this column noted that half a million viewers had vanished on Thursday nights since it launched (with 2.1 million), but last night the audience was back up to 1.67 million. It only needed a bit of hot groping (between Sayid and Shannon) for the fans to start finding it again.

Seven won the night with a prime time audience share of 33.8 per cent, with Nine on 25.0, Ten on 23.3, ABC on 12.7 and SBS on 5.2.

Ten is delighted that The Biggest Loser seems to have settled on an audience of 1.1 million at 7pm, ready to hand over a bunch of under-40 viewers to 'Big Brother' after Easter. Seven is pleased that its "cult" cartoon shows are performing in their late night slots. American Dad managed 565,000 at 10.30pm and Family Guy managed 422,000 at 11pm - numbers any pay TV station would kill for (Fox 8 celebrates when The Simpsons get 80,000.) But 9.30pm seems too late for ABC viewers: The West Wing managed only 389,000 last night.

Michael Scofield was smart to rescue the doctor from rape and murder last night, even if it did endanger his escape plan. Not only did he encourage her to fall in love with him, but he boosted the audience for 'Prison Break' well above its rival, 'House', which had beaten it last week. Or perhaps House's fans were driven away by that unfortunate diarrhoea incident.

Seven continued its run of good luck, winning the night with 28.8 per cent of the prime time audience, while NIne was on 26.7, Ten on 24.9, ABC on 15.0 and SBS on 4.6.

Ten was not depressed by the descent of 'House', because after 'Prison Break', the next six top programs with the 16-39 age group all belonged to Ten: 'House', 'The Biggest Loser', 'Bondi Rescue', 'NCIS', 'Jamie's Italian Adventure' and 'Neighbours'.

'Bert's Family Feud' continues to languish below 500,000 viewers at 5.30pm, encouraging much conspiracy theorising about how Nine will kill the show without embarrassing Bert Newton. The latest theory, as discussed in Amanda Meade's column in 'The Australian' today, is that Bert will have some kind of "health scare" during the Commonwealth Games, preventing him from returning to Family Feud when the Games are over. But the published speculation may force Nine to think of another (less kind) approach.

Dance fever grips the nation. Last night 2.2 million people in the mainland capitals settled into a two-hour warm bath of schmaltz, glitz, and cheese, plus a splash of heartbreak (at least for footballer Luke Ricketson, who was voted off by viewers). Season four of 'Dancing With The Stars' is the most successful season so far.

Those who find the glitter too glary are seeking refuge in Springfield and in the year 3000 -- 'The Simpsons' and 'Futurama' do particularly well on Tuesday nights.Channel Seven won the night with a prime time audience share of 38.3 per cent, with Nine on 23.6 per cent, Ten on 20.9, The ABC on 12.6 and SBS on 4.7.

And still Nine is not revealing its programming fightback plans for after the Commonwealth Games (which are themselves looking less like ratings-grabbers now Thorpie has dropped out).

In the middle of last year, about 200,000 Australians went to see 'Crash' at the cinema. Last night, five times as many Australians in the mainland capitals saw 'Crash' win an Academy Award as the Best Picture of 2005.

An average audience of 1.1 million over the three and a half hours of Oscar presentations was a tremendous result, but it didn't allow NIne to win the night. Channel Seven's hit show 'Desperate Housewives' barely blinked (suggesting that many viewers were channel-hopping during the ads). At 9.30, 'Commander in Chief' lost 400,000 of its viewers from the opening week -- not entirely to the Oscars, since 'Supernatural' on Ten rose from 657,000 last week to 812,000 last night.

Seven managed a prime time audience share of 32.2 per cent, to Nine's 28.4, Ten's 19.9, the ABC's 13.1 and SBS's healthy 6.4 per cent (largely due to 'Mythbusters', which pulled 544,000 viewers away from the Oscars).

All this year, Sunday night has been Channel Nine's oasis in the ratings desert that is the rest of the week, because Nine could always rely on '60 Minutes' and 'CSI' to keep its audiences up. But the oasis got smaller last night, as both Sunday stalwarts managed the (for them) modest figure of 1.4 million viewers in the mainland capitals.

Seven's 'Ghost Whisperer', newly moved to Sundays, took some viewers from '60 Minutes', while growing support for the ABC's Belgian detective Poirot meant diminishing returns for Nine's Las Vegas detectives.

Ten put out a release this morning expressing delight with the ratings for its new sitcom 'Everybody Hates Chris', which had been a big hit in America. An Australian audience size of 859,000 doesn't sound too impressive, but Ten points out that the childhood of Chris Rock provided the most popular program at 7pm with viewers aged 16-39, who are Ten's prime target. Perhaps the show's title should be 'Everybody Over 40 Hates Chris'.

After poor results for 'Courting Alex' on Mondays, the networks have been wondering if the very word "sitcom" has become a TV turnoff, rather like "Australian drama". A bad result for Chris would have discouraged Seven from showing its new sitcom, 'My Name Is Earl', any time soon. The test is how well the show holds up next week. We'd like to hear what you made of 'Everybody Hates Chris', below.

Nine won the night with a prime time audience share of 28.8 per cent, closely followed by Seven on 27.9, Ten on 20.7, ABC on 18.9 and SBS on 3.7.

A few tiny wounds are starting to appear on Channel Seven's apparently invincible army of new programs -- but they weren't inflicted by Channel Nine.

Half a million viewers have left 'Lost' since its opening night, and the new season of the Australian medical drama 'All Saints' opened with only 1.2 million, apparently because the episode had to start late when 'Dancing With The Stars' ran overtime (what you might call "friendly fire"). 'Prison Break', which launched with 1.9 million viewers, has now dropped back to 1.4 m, and was beaten last Wednesday night by Ten's 'House'.

But Seven is feeling no pain, because its latest reinforcements are making up for these weaknesses -- the nostalgiafest 'Where Are They Now' drew 1.5 million on Sunday and the American political soap 'Commander-in-Chief' drew 1.7 million on Monday.

Seven won the week with a prime time audience share of 31.5 per cent, followed by Nine on 26.6, Ten on 21.4, ABC on 15.6 and SBS on 4.9. That means Seven averaged 1.1 million viewers in prime time over the week, while Nine averaged 930,000.

Seven described this as its "most comprehensive non-Olympic victory since the introduction of peoplemeters" (1991).

The most watched show was Dancing With The Stars, with 2.2 million. Nine's top performers were CSI (1.5 million) and McLeod's Daughters (1.4 m). Ten did best with House (1.4m) and an elimination episode of The Biggest Loser (1.3m).

The ABC's hits were Life In The Undergrowth and Poirot (both 1.1m) and SBS celebrated Mythbusters (633,000).

The ratings report is updated every day, and The Tribal Mind column appears every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald. For previous columns, go to www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . For reader comments on last week, click here

David Dale is the author of 'Who We Are - A miscellany of the new Australia' (Allen and Unwin)

J'accuse mr and ms musician. You promised me a rose garden, heaven up there and tea and sympathy. But you gave me nothing, nada, zilch and zero. It's time to pay.

Irate Christian music fans, believing rumours that clean cut American Idol singer Clay Aiken may not be the pop messiah but a very, very naughty boy who likes to play with other very very naughty boys, have begun legal action claiming they were deceived into buying his music.

It should definitely not stop there. I want restitution from the following deceitful, dishonest and downright untruthful musicians:

Ms Kelis cannot prove that her milkshake is better than yours. In fact it may be that she has never made milkshake at all. At best, exaggeration; at worst a complete and utter lie.

Mr Ace Frehley it is now clear did not, as was claimed from the earliest days of Kiss, originally come from another planet. And Mr Peter Criss it seems was not really part cat. No, really.

Mr John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten, I say to you the continued existence of humanity is seemingly incontrovertible proof that you were not the Antichrist and possibly not even an anarchist. Fibber.

Mr Kanye West did not register late. He was prompt, always. Was this merely a marketing ploy? I'm not saying he's a gold digger but .....

Kaiser Chiefs predicted a riot. It didn't happen. What's up with that?

The Arctic Monkeys claimed "I bet you look good on the dancefloor". Were they talking about you? Either they've never seen you do that chicken wing move or they've pulled a swifty.

The Kings of Leon are not from Leon. Nor are they royalty of any sort. Prince ain't one either and Queen without Freddie "I'm free" Mercury can't even claim pink status let alone royal lineage. You know scores of Australians for a Constitutional Monarchy have bought albums on that basis. They've been duped.

Who else should walk the walk of infamy? Who else will face the courts and be made to answer for their musical falsehoods? Consider this the blog of shame and nail your treatises to the metaphorical door.

When Crash screened in Australian cinemas last year, it was seen by not very many people at all. Most of them were expecting to see Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality 3. Others were sheltering from a cold snap.

The racially themed drama divided critics. While some thought it was over-wrought and manipulative, there was a contrary view that it was merely melodramatic and sentimental.

SO HOW DID CRASH BEAT THE FAR MORE ACCOMPLISHED BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN TO WIN BEST PICTURE AT THE OSCARS?

Here are five theories. Conspiracies? Make up your own mind.

* There appears to be a secret rule at the Academy that only movies set in Los Angeles can win best picture. It happened last year with Million Dollar Baby and it happened again this year. And why not? The City of Angels is clearly the centre of the universe.

* Crash employed hundreds of Los Angeles actors and crew members who all urged Academy members to vote for the movie as a reward for keeping production in the city rather than fleeing to another American state, Canada or even Australia. They wanted to make a political statement about holding onto runaway Hollywood movies.

Brokeback Mountain, set in Wyoming and shot largely in Canada, had little chance. Especially after director Ang Lee cut the scenes in which Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal went to a Lakers basketball game then visited the Hollywood walk of fame.

If further evidence is needed, consider this: neither Stealth nor Son of the Mask, both shot as runaway Hollywood productions in Australia, were EVEN NOMINATED for any Oscars this year.

* During campaigning, a damaging rumour swept through the Academy that Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee was also the film-maker behind Hulk. When it was confirmed, the movie's chances slumped. Another damaging rumour that also proved true - that Crash director Paul Haggis created the Chuck Norris TV series Walker, Texas Ranger and once wrote for The Love Boat - came too late to save the gay cowboy movie.

* Scientology played a role. We all know about Tom Cruise and John Travolta. But Richard Corliss notes in Time magazine online that not only is Paul Haggis the first writer to pen two consecutive Best Pictures but he is "also, by my calculations, the first member of the Church of Scientology to win Best Picture".

Remember that joke by host Jon Stewart about Scientology being right not just for Los Angeles but the rest of the country. MAYBE IT WASN'T A JOKE!

Look out for the sequel to Battlefield Earth, set in Venice Beach, at the Oscars next year.

* Did you notice that the top six Oscars (best picture, director, actor, actress, supporting actor, supporting actress) went to different movies for the first time in decades? The word is that the Academy has a new policy to share around the honours on the basis that "art is not a horse race".

The winners were determined this year by an informal system that encourages an equal chance for all nominees - playing scissors, paper, rock.

When Ang Lee claimed best director, the best picture field narrowed. In a play-off at actor Rob Schneider's house, rumour has it that Paul Haggis won with scissors to Steven Spielberg's paper. Crash won the Oscar.

by David Dale.
The TV stations use the term "prime time" for the period between 6pm and 10.30 pm when 9 million adults in the mainland capitals are available to be seduced into watching Something On The Box. If a commercial network can tempt more than 1.4 million of them to stick with a particular program for an hour of prime time, it puts out a press release calling that show a Hit.

If the ABC can tempt more than 900,000 and if SBS can tempt more than 400,000, there'll be no press releases (because that would imply a vulgar preoccupation with ratings), but the H word might be mentioned in despatches at the national broadcasters' headquarters. (This week, for example, the ABC types would be smiling about Poirot, Little Britain, Spicks and Specks, Australian Story, Doc Martin, and Life in the Undergrowth, while SBS would be toasting Mythbusters and Inspector Rex).

This column's concern today is the other end of the success spectrum -- the shows Australians choose to avoid, thereby causing TV executives, very privately, to mutter the F word (as in "Flop", we hasten to say). For a commercial network, any program that pulls less than 800,000 during prime time is in serious need of replacement. For the ABC, the worry threshold is 400,000. For SBS, any audience is good news.

The shows giving TV bosses the biggest ulcers right now offer valuable insights into the mass mood of Australians, and that, of course, is this column's core concern. Please help us decode these anthropological enigmas:

1 Rove Live (10) used to attract more than a million viewers, but now, on Tuesday nights, it is stuck on 750,000. Ten noticed slippage last year, and promised more spontaneity in 2006. It didn't help.

2 The West Wing opened two weeks ago with 501,000 viewers for the ABC, but sank to 393,000 last Thursday. Did 108,000 fans suddenly realise they already owned this series on DVD? Or was WW hurt by the arrival of Commander-in-Chief, because there's only so much presidential politics Australians can stand? Some viewers hoped a success with WW would encourage the ABC to pick up other intelligent shows badly treated by Nine, such as Six Feet Under and The Sopranos. This now seems unlikely.

3 Smallville poses a similar problem for Ten, which bought this NIne series about Superman's high school years, with high hopes that it would suit Ten's younger target audience. But Smallville has managed only 702,000 on Thursday nights, making Ten reluctant to take over any more of Nine's fumbles.

4 Backyard Blitz (9) used to hold 1.9 million viewers on Sundays but now pulls a mere 942,000 on Fridays. Are Australians no longer houseproud? If so, how come Better Homes and Gardens attracts 1.1 million? Did Jamie Durie, like Rove McManus, lose his mojo?

5 Magda's Funny Bits (9) draws just 690,000 on Tuesdays, despite being hosted by Australia's most liked woman (according to the Q Scores popularity poll). Did she tarnish her image with those Jetstar ads? And will the awfulness of this show bump her from top spot in the next Q Scores report?

6 Supernatural (10) opened five weeks ago with 1.5 million viewers, causing this column to link it with the success of Ghost Whisperer and assume Australians wanted to see dead people in bulk quantities this year. But do they? Moved to 9.30 on Mondays, Supernatural has sunk to 657,000.

7 E.R., once a champion for Nine, has sunk to a mere 929,000 viewers on Wednesday nights, at a point in history when Australians are supposedly obsessed with hospital dramas (such as House and Grey's Anatomy). It's not yet an F word, but the shark is approaching.

8 Lost (7), with 1.6 million, is still a huge hit, but has lost half a million since its opening. Those viewers don't seem to have joined any other program on Thursdays. Where did they go? Are they off watching illegal downloads of later Lost episodes on their computers? And is that a vision of how Australians will be consuming all their American entertainment in the very near future? More and bigger ulcers are inevitable.

The Tribal Mind column by David Dale appears every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald. Previous columns are at www.smh.com.au/tribalmind . Click here to read and comment on the latest update on TV audiences. David Dale is the author of Who We Are -- A miscellany of the new Australia (Allen and Unwin)
Click here for the answer to whether Australians are watching more or less television these days.

Wing says on her website: "Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along.

"I released my first CD Phantom Of The Opera and got a grant from the Manukau City Council for promotion. Then I released I Could Have Danced All Night and The Sound Of Music.

The Academy Awards. This is the night when Hollywood salutes its own. In a town where they hand out statuettes for ordering the most low-cal salad, this is the alpha night of them all.

It is a veritable cocktail of glitz, glamour and bad autocue comedy.

Some of us watch it to see hardworking show business types receive recognition on top of their exorbitant salaries. Others watch it for the frocks. Some even watch it for those tearful thanks to God and parents. We watch it for the fantastic stuff-ups.

Those fabulous moments when the most unexpected recipient grasps good old Uncle Oscar and the world unites in a global "huh?".

This week Film Fondue will present the top five out of left field Academy Award wins and we want to hear what you think.

Tell us the most undeserving or just plain strange Academy Award and don't hold back on the bitchy bitterness. We love it!

She was big, loud and now she's riding back into town to rip your bloody arms off. Aunty Jack, the irreverent star of the 1970s Australian TV series The Aunty Jack Show, is pulling on the golden boxing glove to headline the Big Laugh Comedy Festival.
So what's wrong with Australian comedy now that a 70s star gets top billing? Does it lack edge and creativity? Or was Aunty Jack just that good?

Grahame Bond, aka Aunty Jack, has a theory: "These days, commercial TV will get a whole lot of fabulous young comedy writers and directors and expect them to do 40 hours of TV a year. With limitations like, 'Don't do jokes about Rupert Murdoch or John Howard and no Muslim jokes.' Or do jokes about that. But, essentially, they're producing 40 hours in a year, whereas I did seven-and-a-half hours in two years and we had carte blanche creatively."
What do you think is wrong with Australian comedy now? Is there nothing wrong with it? What do you think?

This blog is now history. Click here to read and comment on the latest update on TV audiences.

Updated 10am Friday March 3

For the past year it has been looking as if Channel Seven must have done a deal with the devil, whereby everything Seven touched would turn to gold and everything Nine touched would turn to dung. But Satan, true to his traditions, has started to get tricksy, and the result last night was bad news for everybody.

Lost, Seven's hit drama from America, failed to recover from last week's low point of 1.6 million (after starting the year with 1.9 million). And the 300,000 Australians who have deserted Seven at 8.30 pm don't seem to have gone anywhere else on mainstream television, because Nine and Ten showed no improvement in their audiences. Perhaps the lost Losties are watching illegal downloads of future episodes.

The ABC had the worst news of the night: the audience for The West Wing, which it took over from Nine, has sunk to 393,000 (from a launch figure of 501,000). Perhaps Nine has stolen some ABC stalwarts by showing Midsomer Murders at 9.30.

Seven won the night with a prime time share of 33.9 per cent, followed by Nine on 27.5, Ten on 21.1, ABC on 12.1, and SBS on 5.4.

Australians seem to be growing frustrated with how long it is taking Michael Scofield to find a way out of jail. Not even a full scale riot could prevent the tattooed bank robber from falling behind the grumpy diagnostician in the audience figures last night.

After launching with 1.9 million viewers in the mainland capitals five weeks ago, Prison Break now attracts only 1.4 million, and is 20,000 behind House on Channel Ten. The writers had better get Scofield and his brother outside and on the run pretty soon, or Channel Seven will lose its stranglehold on Wednesdays.

Wednesday has turned into Ten's best night. House is surging ahead (especially with viewers under 40, despite Hugh Laurie being neither young nor hot). And four other Ten programs attract more than a million viewers: NCIS, Jamie's Italian Escape, The Biggest Loser and Bondi Rescue.

The ABC is pleased with 911,000 viewers for Little Britain and 904,000 for Spicks and Specks, because most of them are aged 16 to 39 -- a demographic rarely reached by the national broadcaster.

Nine's only comfort is that McLeod's Daughters is holding its audience. But, as they say around Nine a lot these days, everything will get better once the Commonwealth Games arrive.

Seven won the night with 29.1 per cent of the prime time audience, followed by Nine with 26.3, Ten with 25.9, the ABC with 14.7 and SBS with 4.0.

Australian drama may be sick, but it is far from dead. Last night Channel Seven launched a new series of All Saints, and attracted 1.5 million viewers in the mainland capitals. That makes the medico thriller/soap Australia's most successful drama series (followed by McLeod's Daughters on Nine, which gets 1.4 million).

Of course, All Saints has the advantage of the nation's most watched program as its lead-in. Last night Dancing With The Stars attracted a record 2.23 million, eager to see if Simone Warne could embarrass herself even more than she did last week. But sadism was left unsatisfied as Warne performed competently and the viewers voted off Molly Meldrum instead. Never underestimate the power of pity.

Seven won the night with a prime time audience share of 40.8 per cent, followed by Nine on 22.1, Ten on 19.4, ABC on 13.3 and SBS on 4.4.

Updated 10am Tuesday Feb 28
At last, Australians have found an American president they can admire -- even lust after. Channel Seven's launch of Commander-in-Chief on Monday night gripped 1.7 million viewers in the mainland capitals, an amazing success for a show that starts at 9.30pm.

The new-look, deep-voiced Geena Davis (best remembered as the skinny scatterbrain in Thelma and Louise) held on to all but 200,000 of the 1.9 million viewers who had joined Desperate Housewives at 8.30. That was only part of the bad news for Channel Nine's new boss Eddie McGuire. He learned that he's going to have trouble extracting himself from hosting duties on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

Eddie had to present the show because he has so far been unable to find a replacement, and the result was an increase in audience. Millionaire attracted 1.3 million viewers against Desperate Housewives, which dropped nearly 200,000 on the previous week. Today Eddie may be repeating the words of Michael Corleone in The Godfather III: "Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in."

Seven won the night with a prime time audience share of 33.7 per cent, with Nine on 27.0, Ten on 18.7, ABC on 14.3 and SBS on 6.3.

Updated Monday Feb 27
Australia's love of mass destruction was not enough to keep Channel Seven ahead of Channel Nine on Sunday night. The viewers preferred forensic analysts with blue lights and a Belgian detective with waxed moustaches to meteorologists with wind machines.

Seven devoted three and a half hours to a telemovie called Category 7: The End of the World, but could only average 905,000 viewers in the mainland capitals. At 8.30, the storm was mopped up by CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on Nine with 1.5 million viewers and Hercule Poirot on the ABC with 1.1 million.

But earlier in the night, Seven discovered that nostalgia definitely is what it used to be. David Koch's Where Are They Now, with 1.5 million viewers, easily beat Georgie Parker's Clever, with 908,000. The heart triumphed over the head.

It was the ABC's strongest night so far this year, with 19.3 per cent of the prime time audience. Nine won the night with a share of 29.8 per cent, followed by Seven on 26.5, and Ten on 20.3.

Last week's highlights
Bert Newton is a dead man talking ... and talking ... and talking. His Family Feud remains on air at 5.30 each weekday only because of the kind heart of Eddie McGuire and Channel Nine's inability to find a speedy alternative.

He started two weeks ago with a disappointing 678,000 viewers in the mainland capitals. By the end of last week the audience had dropped to 431,000 -- exactly half the number watching Deal Or No Deal, the Seven game show Bert was hired to destroy.

Back in Nine's ruthless heyday, he'd have been off air by now, replaced by reruns of Friends. But Nine has bigger problems later in the evening, so Bert will be allowed to keep talking at least until the Commonwealth Games in mid-March.

Bert's failure to deliver an audience to Nine's 6pm news was only part of the reason Channel Nine fell further behind Channel Seven in the second week of the "official" ratings season. Seven's prime time audience share was 31.3 per cent, while Nine managed 26.8 per cent, and Ten got 20.7.

Seven launched a new season of Dancing With The Stars, drawing 2.2 million in the mainland capitals, and exploited a growing enthusiasm for the Winter Olympics after 9.30 each night.

Now the Games are over, Seven is maintaining the late night momentum by launching the US drama Commander in Chief tonight, All Saints tomorrow night, and The Amazing Race on Thursday night.

Meanwhile Nine seems frozen like a roo in the headlights, apparently saving its programming push till after the Commonwealth Games.

As Nine sinks, the ABC rises. Its audience share of 16.3 per cent was up two points on the previous week -- largely due to Billy Connolly's appearance on Enough Rope with Andrew Denton, which drew a rare 1.3 million viewers, Hercule Poirot (1 million) and the return of Little Britain (993,000).

On Thursday the ABC launched The West Wing, the US series it bought from Nine. The 90 minute showing averaged 501,000 viewers, which would be a poor result for a commercial network but not bad for the ABC, considering that many fans have already bought those episodes on DVD and it's hard to get the ABC's usual audience to stay up after 10pm.

The Tribal Mind column appears every Tuesday in The Sydney Morning Herald and earlier columns can be found at www.smh.com.au/ tribalmind . David Dale is the author of Who We Are - A miscellany of the new Australia (Allen and Unwin).

Like the Australian film industry, the local music industry tends to find itself described as being in either heaven or hell. We don't do middle ground.

You know the drill, if we have a band selling massively overseas, we're on a high; if the best we can manage is a favourable review in the UK music press and an appearance on the OC soundtrack, we're in the depths.

If the biggest selling acts in Australia one year are variations of your standard blank-faced middle of road, middle American band or this year's pretty face in low slung jeans, while local artists scramble for the crumbs, we're in the depths; if we have a couple of locals selling 150,000 and dominating radio (even if 90 per cent of the local acts can't get in the radio door) we're on a high.

Maybe we could do something radical and judge the state of the industry by something as simple and simultaneously as impossible to quantify as quality?

And I don't mean the ARIA or APRA Awards, worthy though they are at times. No one pretends that both awards aren't really about recognising the biggest selling acts, the best known faces.

Yes, even the supposedly purer APRA Awards, where there are no record company execs voting but only peer and publisher judging, almost always reflect the state of the charts not the state of the music.
That's fine though, as long as everyone recognises that.

But is there another way?

On Wednesday the first Australian Music Prize (with the award of $25,000) will be announced. An unashamed attempt to mimic the status of the UK Mercury Prize, it is meant to be an objective view of the quality not the quantity (of sales).

Yeah right. Of course it's partly subjective; that's what judging is. I should know, I was one of the judges, along with another 60-odd folk who come from the ranks of artists, the media and selected retailers (in theory the people at small and large shops who actually care about and know about music rather than vectors and projections).

The final eight, from which the winner will come, do suggest a diverse music community which isn't just the ARIA charts (though several of the final eight have sold plenty) and if nothing else that must be a heartening thing for anyone who enjoys listening to music.

Wolfmother - Wolfmother
The Mess Hall - Notes from a Ceiling
The Drones - Wait Long By The River And The Bodies Of Your Enemies Will Float By
Tex, Don and Charlie - All Is Forgiven
TZU - Smiling At Strangers
The Devastations - Coal
The Go Betweens - Oceans Apart
Ben Lee - Awake Is The New Asleep

But here's an interesting question: what else does this grouping tell us?

That we're still keen on guitars and tunes?

That one hip hop act out of eight is a token/a sign of variety/not enough/probably a fair representation of hip hop's presence in Australia?

That even old blokes can make career-best albums?

That when you don't ask record company employees, radio programmers who see music as filler between ads and retailers you miss out on the real music stars and get only the dweebs and commercial no hopers?

That any time you make awards for music (or any creative art) you end up making yet another list and one guaranteed to say more about the list makers than those on the list?