Consider SNL's parodic Amazon commercial a cautionary tale about bringing your mom breakfast in bed next Sunday — don't invade her private boudoir of onanism just to give her a platter of burned toast and orange juice from concentrate, because the half-hearted gesture won't erase a year's worth of filial apathy and convince her that you really love her. It'll just interrupt her while she's trying to have a nice, private orgasm with a dirty book. Will breakfast in bed be worth an awkward conversation or a stolen orgasm? Alternately, do you know how to make orgasm-flavored pancakes?