The B*tch Watch: July 2017 TV Preview

July marks the debut of a random smorsgabord of series, including a little show with dragons.

Let’s bitch it out…

Top Pick: New

Admittedly it’s a bit of a light month, so our top pick is the new anthology series Room 104 (July 28) by the Duplass brothers, whose great tragi-comedy Togetherness was cancelled last year. The rotating celebrity cameos offer the series star power and the format encourages a variety of different, contained stories. Fingers crossed it’s like a single location High Maintenance.

Runners Up: Netflix’s Ozark (July 21) has a great cast, but we’re cautious after the failure of Gypsy. More exciting is Castlevania (July 7) which looks gory and nostalgic. The Bold Type (July 11) could be a fun junior version of SATC. I’m Sorry (July 12) is giving off Better Things vibes in a good way and Hooten & The Lady (July 13) just looks plain fun.

Top Pick: Returning

Could any other series be the returning pick aside from Game Of Thrones (July 16)? With the end in sight (and fewer episodes to work with), S7 arrives with sky-high expectations. Thrones‘ audience has come to expect bloodshed, twists, and deaths, but this second last season also carries an air of inevitability: with Daeny en route to Westeros and the White Walkers encroaching from the North, the conflict has finally come to a head. Not everyone is going to make it. The question is: who will survive?

Runners Up: Last year’s #4 “Best New Series” Insecure returns for S2 on July 23, hopefully to a much bigger audience following lots of recognition on the awards and critics list.

Top Pick: Wildcard

Will Salvation (July 12) continue the CBS summer series tradition of being batshit crazy and over-the-top stupid? The central premise – about a comet that threatens to obliterate life on earth – certainly has the potential, but what really matters is execution. How laughable are the performances? How terrible are the special effects? How ludicrous is the dialogue? These are the important questions to consider.

Runners Up: It’s entirely possible that Midnight, Texas(July 24) will steal Salvation‘s thunder, particularly if it follows in the footsteps of author Charlaine Harris’ former series, True Blood. Also: Who can guess how inane the final season of FX’s gonzo vampire series The Strain (July 16) will be? Can TNT’s Will (July 10) overcome its dumb premise and bad trailer? Paula Patton’s Somewhere Between (July 24) sounds intriguing, but why is there no trailer or advertising?

Full List of New and Returning TV Series – July 2017

As always, I will be watching the series marked with an asterix (*).

Wednesday, July 5

Snowfall S1 (FX – 10pm EST): Los Angeles. 1983. A storm is coming and its name is cocaine. Snowfall is a one-hour drama set against the infancy of the crack cocaine epidemic and its ultimate radical impact on the culture as we know it. The story follows numerous characters on a violent collision course, including: Franklin Saint (Damson Idris), young street entrepreneur on a quest for power; Gustavo Zapata (Sergio ), a Mexican wrestler caught up in a power struggle within a crime family; Teddy McDonald (Carter Hudson), a CIA operative running from a dark past who begins an off-book operation to fund the Nicaraguan Contras; and Lucia Villanueva (Emily Rios), the self-possessed daughter of a Mexican crime lord.

Friday, July 7

Castlevania S1 (Netflix – 3am EST): This animated fantasy series is penned by comic book writer Warren Ellis, and based on the 30-year-old videogame franchise.

Saturday, July 8

Tour de Pharmacy (HBO – 10pm EST): Andy Samberg follows his 2015 sports mockumentary 7 Days in Hell with another HBO original film, this time set in the world of professional cycling. Joining Samberg in the cast are John Cena, Daveed Diggs, Maya Rudolph, Will Forte, Orlando Bloom, Freddie Highmore, J.J. Abrams, Mike Tyson, and Lance Armstrong.

Monday, July 10

Will S1 (TNT – 9pm EST): A drama about the lost years of young William Shakespeare after his arrival to London in 1589 — when theatre was like rock and roll and a young man with a dream changed the world with his words. Newcomer Laurie Davidson plays the title role in this period drama told in a bold, contemporary style and played to a modern soundtrack that exposes all of Shakespeare’s recklessness, lustful temptations, and tortured brilliance.

Tuesday, July 11

The Fosters S5 (Freeform – 8pm EST): The show that breaks all barriers is back with a heart stopping Summer premiere.

The Bold Type S1 (Freeform – 9pm EST): Inspired by the life of Joanna Coles, chief content officer of Hearst Magazines, The Bold Type reveals a glimpse into the outrageous lives and loves of those responsible for the global women’s magazine Scarlet. The rising generation of Scarlet women leans on one another as they find their own voices in a sea of intimidating leaders. Together they explore sexuality, identity, love and fashion.

Salvation S1* (CBS – 9pm EST): Tech billionaire Darius Tanz (Big Little Lies‘ Santiago Cabrera) and MIT grad student Liam Cole (Red Band Society‘s Charlie Rowe) share a frightening discovery with low-level Pentagon official Grace Barrows (Jennifer Finnigan): An asteroid is set to collide with Earth in six months. However, the Pentagon is already aware of this impending disaster and has chosen to keep this secret from the public.

Suits S7 (USA – 9pm EST): The dream team is back.

Odd Mom Out S3 (Bravo – 10pm EST): Acclaimed author Jill Kargman plays a satirical version of herself as she navigates the treacherous and elite ecosystem of New York’s Upper East Side, and the uber-wealthy mommy clique inhabiting this fantastically outrageous domain.

I’m Sorry S1* (TruTV – 10pm EST): Andrea Savage writes and stars in this scripted comedy series loosely based on her own life.

Thursday, July 13

Hooten and the Lady S1* (The CW – 9pm EST): British series follows a pair of treasure hunters (played by Michael Landes and Ophelia Lovibond) in their adventures around the globe.

Friday, July 14

Friends from College S1* (Netflix – 3am EST): The show centers on a group of friends who went to Harvard together and are now facing down their forties and experiencing a range of success, or lack thereof, both professionally and domestically. With interwoven and oftentimes complicated relationships with one another, the series is a comedic exploration of old friendships, former romantic entanglements and balancing adult life with nostalgia for the past.

Remember Me (PBS – 10pm EST): Tom Parfitt, a frail old Yorkshireman, witnesses a violent death on the day he moves to a care home. What happened in his past that he cannot leave behind? 3 part miniseries

The Strain S4 (FX – 10pm EST): The world is dying. They are its last hope. Final season

Monday, July 17

Loaded S1 (AMC – 11pm EST): Follows four tech entrepreneurs and childhood friends who, on the heels of selling their gaming company, become instant multimillionaires and are forced to deal with the pitfalls that come with being an overnight success.

Ozark S1* (Netflix – 3am EST): The Byrdes, husband and wife Marty (Jason Bateman) and Wendy (Laura Linney), their teenage kids Charlotte (Sofia Hublitz) and Jonah (Skylar Gaertner) — are for all intents and purposes an ordinary family. Ordinary save for Marty’s job: The top money launderer for the second largest drug cartel in Mexico.

Midnight, Texas S1* (NBC – 10pm EST): From Charlaine Harris, the author behind True Blood, comes a new series about a town of outsiders who must fight the ultimate battle against evil to protect their home.

Somewhere Between S1* (ABC – 10pm EST): Based on a Korean series, Somewhere Between is a thriller that centers on a news producer (Paula Patton) who learns that her 8-year-old daughter will be murdered. She doesn’t know who the murderer is, or why she’s killed, but she knows exactly when it will happen, where and how. Despite this, all of her attempts to keep her daughter safe fail and Serena’s fixed, unmovable, terrifying fate keeps her directly in the path of her killer.

People of Earth S2 (TBS – 10:30pm EST): Skeptical journalist Ozzie Graham investigates a support group to write about the member’s supposed alien encounters. The more he digs into their oddball claims, the more he realizes a semblance of truth to their stories and possibly even signs that point to his own alien abduction.

Friday, July 28

The Last Tycoon S1 (Amazon – 12am EST): The Last Tycoon tells the story of Monroe Stahr (Matt Bomer), a dashing and talented studio executive who struggles to find his place within the movie industry and the world. Monroe is caught in a power struggle with his boss and mentor, Pat Brady (Kelsey Grammer), when a young Irish waitress (Lily Collins) catches his eye. Her spark just might be the fuel he needs to create a truly great and important film in his quest for power.

Room 104 S1* (HBO – 11:30pm EST): Set in a single room of an average American motel, each episode offers a window into the lives of characters with a vast array of quirks.

Rick and Morty S3 (Adult Swim – 11:30pm EST): Rick and Morty catalogues the bizarre misadventures of a bored scientific genius/drunkard and his socially awkward grandson, Morty. Their exploits tend to have unintended consequences for Morty’s dysfunctional family, especially his unfailingly mediocre father, Jerry. Welcome to the darkest year of their adventures.

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That’s it for July! August is another odd mix of shows, including the four series in the making debut of Marvel’s The Defenders. Elsewhere Jessica Biel returns to TV in The Sinner, Paul Bettany goes into disguise for Manhunt: Unabomber and Get Shorty becomes the latest big screen flick adapted as a TV series. Plus we have yet another Stephen King adaptation in Mr. Mercedes, Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt lend their voices to the Romanian detective series Comrade Detective, the campers return for Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Laterand John Cho makes his debut as Billy Eisner’s boyfriend on S3 of Difficult People.