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Just don’t think about… that ultrasound wand

So, I went for my baseline ultrasound yesterday. An amusing/irritating thing happened while I was there.

The u/s tech is really nice, and we connected a little last time I was there. This time, she was accompanied by a student who was learning to be an ultrasound technician (is that the right word??). Here’s a recap of the conversation

Tech: Is this your second or third time doing Clomid?

Me: Third

Tech: I see so many times women get pregnant on the third try.

Me: Wow! You just made my day. I thought about doing IVF this time, but I didn’t want to stress to get in the May-June cycle.

Student: Yes, stress is bad for getting pregnant.

Me: *In my head, only. I actually said nothing* ***Yes, yes, I’m sure it is. You try telling your husband to have sex at the exact time of day to correspond with y0ur ovulation and see how relaxed you are.***

Student: If you just don’t think about it, you’ll get pregnant.

Tech: Winces and raises eyebrows.

Me: Dead silence. ****In my head**** Yes, because it’s so easy not to think about getting pregnant while paying thousands of dollars to try. It’s especially easy to forget about while having someone you’ve only met 4 times shove something up in your vagina with a complete stranger in the room.

Student: That’s the way it’s always happened for my family.

Me: Continued dead silence. ****My awful, mean thoughts**** No matter what I think about, if my right ovary doesn’t make eggs, then no baby for me. You dumbass.

Student: *Uncomfortable laugh.* I really hope you get pregnant this month.

Me: Um, thanks.

After that, I thanked the u/s tech and got dressed. When the nurse came in, I told her that she might want to let that student know that telling a bunch of women at a fertility clinic not to think about getting pregnant goes beyond ironic and into just plain idiotic.

I should have said exactly that. I was so shocked that those words were being said, in a fertility clinic, to a woman currently receiving an ultrasound, that I couldn’t think anything other than “Whahhhhhaa?”