Here the California poet Kim Noriega looks deeply into a photograph from forty years ago.

Heaven, 1963

It's my favorite photo--
captioned, "Daddy and His Sweetheart."
It's in black and white,
it's before Pabst Blue Ribbon,
before his tongue became a knife
that made my mother bleed,
and before he blackened my eye
the time he thought I meant to end my life.

He's twenty-seven.
I'm two.
My hair, still baby curls,
is being tossed by a gentle breeze.
I'm fast asleep in his arms.

I share this poem because it happened to me too. I am over fifty and have been on a healing journey my whole life. Not all trauma survivors become obese but I did. Most of my adult life was spent on the yo-yo train so at times I was overweight and others at around 160 pounds. I became morbidly obese after a triggering event. I was attacked with a knife and that was when food became my only medication and friend. Trigger because when one has PTSD everything seems to go out of control. So I was out of control until I reached my highest weight in 2002. January 2003 made a resolution to become healthy when I got sleep apnea, heart palpitations and was diagnosed prediabetic. I did South Beach and walking 10k daily in 2003 and lost 85 pounds. Regained 33 pounds the next year and hovered around 170 until I joined this forum this year. I decided enough's enough!

Tried SB again and had an initial loss but when I moved onto Phase 2 the added carbs triggered binges.

Reread Atkins book and began to follow that WOE. From the end of July to December it was a steady loss curve down until goal was reached.

Is this the first time or one of many times that you've tried to lose weight?
I have tried may times to lose weight.

Are you where you want to be? Most definitely! This weekend my friend and I are going to to Whistler where we discovered a recycled clothing store (mostly brand name) and do some heavy duty shopping. Then we will go snowshoeing later.

How has life changed for you since you've lost the weight?
It has been wonderful. I no longer have sleep apnea etc. and I stick to my WOE so no cravings. Did I mention newer clothes? Imagine going from wearing size 38 waist men's jeans to women's jeans size 4.

If you're maintaining, what's that like for you?
I still consider myself a brand new maintainer and so far it is going well. So well that even though I am eating more I have lost three more pounds.
I survived my birthday, Christmas and New Years day parties. Gained a pound or two but adjusted my eating and lost it.

Do you exercise regularly?
Yes daily. I walk 10k and did 30 Day Shred which I am going to do it again. Also doing 100 day push ups program.

Now that you're at your goal, what are your concerns?
I am an emotional eater so I use mindfulness meditation to keep in touch with what is real for me. Observing my thoughts which trigger feelings= binges has been a saving grace.

I also read the forums daily. Especially the maintainers threads where I have read a ton of good information.

And anything else that you might want to share with us!
My cat Felix. He is in his tux.