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Saturday, July 1, 2017

Institute for Teachers of Color Committed to Racial Justice (ITOC): A Reflection

I applied for and was accepted into the Institute for Teachers of Color Committed to Racial Justice (ITOC) conference in Los Angeles, California. Coming off a rough school year, I was ready to be around other educators with a like mindset. Like everywhere else, the emphasis is on raising standardized test scores, so social justice work takes a back seat if it has a seat at all.

I went to work on Monday to finish out a school year
that I was glad to see end. Because I teach writing as enrichment, my class
serves as a preparation period for teachers, and there is no love for prep
teachers. Homeroom teachers just want to know that they are going to get their
break. Outside of that we are invisible. In addition to feeling like I was
being erased, I was also trying to recover from student involved trauma.

Feeling devalued and distressed, I pushed myself to
get through those last two days. Initially excited about the ITOC conference, I
began having doubts about attending. I was tired. I was dealing with too much,
and I had anxiety about traveling alone. I didn’t know what to do with the
emotions coursing through me. It was easier to just skip the conference and try
again next year. But the easiest thing is not the best thing, so I decided to
go anyway.

On Wednesday, I caught an early morning flight that put me in Los Angeles at
the start of the conference. I went straight from the airport to the conference
rolling my luggage behind me.

Breakfast was being served when I arrived, so I
fixed myself a plate and found an empty table. A beautiful, young woman with
locks whose name I don’t want to butcher invited me to sit at her table;
I did. The morning went well. I loved the ice breakers because they allowed me
to connect with other people and stay within my comfort zone—or not.

At lunch, I went looking for my roommates and found
my tribe: Sonya, Yolanda, Dara and Samantha. They welcomed me into the fold and
made space for me.Then I ran into
Cecily, a woman I knew from Chicago. She and I worked together years 7 or 8 years ago, and I had not seen
her since then. We’ve always shared positive energy so; it was good to
reconnect.

After the 1st workshop after lunch, I decided to go and
check in. It had been a long day and we had dinner that night. I could not get
the wifi working on my phone, so one of the organizers called a Lyft for me and
paid for it. The next morning I tried to repay her and she refused to take the
money. I’m sorry that I don’t remember her name.

Attending the ITOC conference was life-changing and
reaffirming. In my life, I have been blessed to interact with people whose
presence stays with me long after they’re gone. At the first school I worked,
the staff was really like family. My women’s triathlon teammates helped me face
my fears and finish what I started. My belly dance sisters, Nefertari, are
friends for life. And now I can add ITOC to that list. If I never attend another conference (I certainly
hope that’s not the case), I can say that my first ITOC conference was amazing.

ALL of my needs were met. I had healthy food
options. I connected to people. I was in a safe space; I could breathe. So, I was able to soak
up so much of the knowledge that was presented. I gained new knowledge, but I
also learned that I am on the right track with my teaching. I was doing circles
before restorative justice became the latest buzz word. I used to have my students
do mood reports based on the weather, and I was reminded in one of the
workshops that this is still an excellent way to keep my finger on the pulse of
what’s happening.

It’s been a week since I returned, and I’m still
processing all that I learned and experienced. The conference was both
professional development and a retreat all rolled into one. When I stepped off
that plane in California, I was broken. When I got back on the plane headed
home, I felt renewed and ready to not only work for social justice, but to live
a life of social justice.