[ Please see the introduction to the real Digest #1000 for the ]
[ revelation and explanation of this April Fool's Day digest posting. ]
@@@ WE MADE IT!
@@@
@@@ The Thousandth digest has arrived! They said it couldn't be done.
@@@ They said it'd never happen. They said it'd all end. But here it is.
@@@ One thousand digests of ten thousand selected Oracularities. What an
@@@ accumulation!
@@@
@@@ However ... *sigh* I thought we were ready for this.
@@@
@@@ Please excuse the noncanonical number on this digest (#000).
@@@ Having approached the big #1000 with confidence that all D1K (digest
@@@ one thousand) bugs were exterminated from the Oracle's systems,
@@@ I discover that now, as the moment is here, some nasty ones remain.
@@@ Since it seems that it'll cause less trouble to let out the digest
@@@ with #000 for now than #1000, that's how it is. I wouldn't want
@@@ to disappoint our faithful readers and delay this landmark digest.
@@@ We'll be working around the clock to get everything fixed before
@@@ #1001 is due. Wish us luck
@@@
@@@ ... and remind me to retire from the computer biz before Jan 1, 2000.
@@@
@@@ Yours in millennial celebration/trauma, Steve Kinzler
To find out all about the Internet Oracle, including how to participate,
send mail to oracle@internetoracle.org with the word "help" in the subject
line.
Let us know what you like! Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very poor") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@internetoracle.org (probably just reply to this
message). For example:
000
2 1 3 4 3 5 3 3 4 1
995 91 votes dHFfp iAOrr gpOoi epLme sywOs tAIRt 1pSAh 0rHCo 0IELo 0LSEd
995 3.1 mean 3.0 3.1 3.0 3.0 3.1 3.1 3.3 3.4 3.3 3.1

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Como consigo una tarjeta verde de inmigracion de los E.E.U.U.?
>
> Muchas gracias,
> Esteban Cazador
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Did you know that 'Verde' is a character in the book 'Dance of the
} Tiger'? Except that it's spelt slightly differently.
}
} You owe The Oracle a one ton tomato.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Life a river
> A sapphire in the swift
> current illuminated
> swirling through immense
> hard space
> small decayed rock;
> sand.
>
> Life a river
> by a field where a gull
> wings by once
> gray, a color
> unremembered as all
> fades.
>
> A river
> for nothing;
> an offer;
> no taker;
>
> Snow-trickles, creekbed, earth.
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} There once was a life like a river
} A sapphire in the swift would sliver
} A small decayed rock
} Some wings that would lock
} An offer no taker no giver
}
} You owe The Oracle some snow-trickles in my creekbed.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Hey you, i found this in my e-mail box, and i thought that i
> should forward it to every person that i know, pretty cool offer.
>
> Now there is a way to get a free web page on the internet.
> There's free e-mail and irc server too. You get 100 meg of space
> and free tech support. Let me know at freewebsite555@juno.com if
> you are interested in this valuble offer. Thanks dude. Haven't
> you always watned your own Web Site?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} your a jerk
}
} ***************mew*************mew********mew*************************
} *"To be or not to be thats the mother-f--king question." - me *
} *"I used to have a brain but then I started reading." *
} *"Dance all night go go go." - Talking Heads *
} * ==================================== *
} *If you like cats as much as I do check out my mewsite!!! Its way *
} *kewel! *
} * (all opinions are mine so screw it) *
} * *
} *my website can be found at: *
} * http://www.krpsht.quirk.pds/smile/~marge/mew *
} **********************************************************************
} ********mew***********mew*************mew*************mew*************