The £200 Crêpière Krampouzk CEBPA4 PRO luxury pancake maker

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There’s a whole bunch sissy Shrove Tuesday pancake making gadgets out there like this one for flip cowards and this one for the plain gullible, so I thought I’d bring you the ultimate in batter mixture cookers so that you can get the correct kit in for next year or alternatively breakfast next week.

So, ladies, gentlemen, let me introduce you to the Crêpière Krampouzk CEBPA4 PRO. You may recognise it from it’s usual situation, sheltered from the rain at the end of large queues at British music festivals.

See, people will tell you it’s all about the batter mix or the amount of salt or oil, or this that or the other, but, according to Krampouzk, it’s all about rubbing the surface with a large brick of lard. Once you’ve got that sorted, just let the uniform 50-300 degrees Celsius heat of this stainless steel creature do the rest.

Not quite as cheap as most pans at 226 Euros but, on the plus side, if you buy one now, it only works out as about £225 and then you can sell it next year for some kind of vast profit.

Oh, and for the record, it’s 1:3:5 – eggs : flour : milk (alphabetical, see?). Cut a new potato in half dip it in a dish of oil and use it grease the pan between cooks. Job done.