Me and Nickelback have a love/hate relationship. I hate them so much that I almost go all the way around reality and come back on the other side where I start to love them.

True story time. I once had free Nickelback tickets and nothing to do, so I went. I had pretty much no fun, and forced myself to stay because I had friends with me. When we realized we all weren’t having fun we decided to leave about 8 songs into “Nickelback’s” set. As we were leaving, we drove past all the tour buses out of the parking lot. It was there that we saw Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback.

Turns out that we didn’t even stay long enough to see Nickelback. We just saw some other douche with long hair then left. Crisis averted. Added bonus: Chad actually looked a little bit confused and, dare-I-say, hurt. It was that look that you used to get in high school when you were in a car full of people leaving to get lunch and there was that one other friend that got a glimpse of you driving out of the parking lot just as he got there. He starts to jog for a few steps, then realizes its not really practical with his backpack on. By that time you’re long gone. Sorry, Jamie.

Apparently it is common knowledge that Michael Phelps is a douche in the sideways hat wearing sense. Still, I was willing to chalk that one up to defective hats… but now there is some video evidence of the douchary:

And animated-gif evidence:

I would love to someday hear the phrase, “Your honor, the prosecution would like to introduce an animated-gif into evidence.”