What has been stated before: hide it, show it, then see if the person is open. If they are not, move on. You would not want someone with you who does not accept you fully for who you are right? I am on a few fetish-y sites where husbands mention their wives allowing or accepting but not participating. And then there those that stay married but now there is a constant elephant in the room because the husband (99% of the time) wants to do something but the partner is not accepting of it.

I know many people have stated they have had things go both ways meaning that someone might be totally turned off at first, then be willing to participate or at least show acceptance, but then said person will leave the relationship within a week because ultimately they are not that open minded. This goes for anything considered a kink. On the other hand, some have stated they have got people who thought they were not interested to be interested. I am not thinking suggestion (although that could definitely be part of it), but rather the other person thought about it for a while, figured out it was harmless, somehow fun, and decided to join in rather than fight it).

So basically IMO do not focus in on fetish-y dating sites. Go for 'normal' sites or just go out in public and then just express yourself when you two get to be in private. Like I said before: if the person you meet is not into it, move on. It is probably better you get it out of the way ASAP and move on to someone who is open to your fetishes/lifestyle choices/etc. This means facing possibly a lot of rejection outright but you should not feel discouraged (it is very hard to not feel discouraged sometimes).

I try to think of it more like I am the person doing the job interview (I have done many for my jobs), and if someone does not fit the bill, that person does not get hired. There is no bad blood between that other person and I (although it may be very difficult to be friends after that). It is just I have my own priorities/goals/desires in life and I do not want to waste time (both mine and theirs) with someone who cannot align up. Similarly, in a business, we would never want to waste time (and money) on someone who really does not fully meet or exceed the qualifications for the job.

Fetlife is the closest thing. But you need to be willing to go to munches and events and meet people in person. Every female ABDL on there gets a pretty constant stream of short messages from socially inept guys so just messaging people is kinda a waste of time. There are some personals groups which might be worthwhile.

Fetlife is the closest thing. But you need to be willing to go to munches and events and meet people in person.

That's what I'm unwilling to do. Any "munches" (annoying term) are bound to be filled with 99% men, with the one or two women already taken. I fail to understand how that can benefit any guy looking to meet a woman. Personally, I have no desire to meet any other guys into this. It's not appealing one bit. FetLife is useless, essentially. Strangely enough, I've only had success with Craigslist, the most maligned site. I've talked to two real women into this on the phone and met one in person just to talk, and they both responded to my ads. Neither conversation actually led to a diaper meet-up, but that's beside the point.

Applying the severe filter of "AB/DL-aware" straight off is a bit like sinking the ship before it reaches the open sea. Sure, you'll be able to swim ashore, but you'll be back where you started from. Better to wait until the New World is at least on the horizon, in my opinion. There again, swimming ashore is likely, but while that may leave you looking like a weirdo, the many intervening adventures have an opportunity to make up for it.

I get that there are some for whom living this stuff 24/7 feels like a requirement. For the others who see AB/DL as something less than a lifestyle, however, it's probably a good idea to keep your options open. Excluding muggles from the pool of prospective partners is a very unfortunate thing to have to do. You know -- because that's like 99.999% of humans.

That's what I'm unwilling to do. Any "munches" (annoying term) are bound to be filled with 99% men, with the one or two women already taken. I fail to understand how that can benefit any guy looking to meet a woman. Personally, I have no desire to meet any other guys into this. It's not appealing one bit. FetLife is useless, essentially. Strangely enough, I've only had success with Craigslist, the most maligned site. I've talked to two real women into this on the phone and met one in person just to talk, and they both responded to my ads. Neither conversation actually led to a diaper meet-up, but that's beside the point.

Not necessarily. A munch (I hate the term too lol, but it is what it is I guess) I held the other day was all women except for two people.

I have met very few people who have a drive to be a caretaker that comes naturally to them, and more often then not the ones I've met have been "daddy doms" focused on finding attractive women in diapers, and the idea of controlling a woman like a little girl to be sexy. (No judgement, just saying the type I see naturally interested in this tends to be limited in this way.)

Obviously this leaves a lot of be desired for most ABDL's which leaves them wanting to find places to meet people. Places full of AB/DL's are just full of people like you, people looking for that special person to diaper them and give them cuddles. I just think ABDL dating sites really are sites that are destined to fail in this regard. They are full of AB's and DL's. They are not full of caretakers.

I think it's natural and fine that a grown person just doesn't instinctual tend to have a super driven desire to diaper someone else. So I feel like looking for sites that are specifically catered to ABDL is like, honestly a really bad place to look for a match unless you are a switch looking for other switches.

What this doesn't mean is that your future partner won't be willing to do it, and won't even love it. It's just important to really get out of that comfort zone and meet some "muggles" as Cottontail put it. My significant other only knew the most base minimal thing about ABDL when I met her, and although she is not the kind of person who would have ever put "caretaker" on a dating site and still wouldn't, she loves making sure I feel like her little fairy princess. I know it's cheesy, but a relationship needs to have a lot more of a foundation then a shared kink. It needs to have a foundation that's stronger, and that's what's important to look for at first.

This doesn't mean I'm recommending getting married and then only then telling your partner too. Communicate. The moment I started feeling things were getting serious with my partner I told her, but I didn't shout it the moment we met. I didn't grill her on it the second we started trying to see if even something there. I feel like people are much more willing to accept this kinda stuff from someone they are falling in love with, then someone they are just meeting.

Dating sites are full of men and fake female profiles.
Going to general fetish munches rather than diaper ones at least give you a remote chance.

You are correct about the fake profiles. ABDLMatch.com creates its own fake female profiles, sends you messages from them, and makes you pay to view all messages (which I haven't done).

As for "general fetish" get-togethers, that may be more likely to produce some kind of connection, but again, it's not very appealing to be hanging out with guys into this. For me personally, it's out of my comfort zone.

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Originally Posted by ClickyKeys

Not necessarily. A munch (I hate the term too lol, but it is what it is I guess) I held the other day was all women except for two people.

You said that you've held "munches" that were primarily female (and are you talking natural female or transgender?). Needless to say, this is rather surprising, as most women into ab/dl are rather closeted (or in the case of the woman I talked to recently, totally confused and shameful). I'm curious what the circumstances of the munch were -- just a general ab/dl get-together or one aimed at women. Was it on FetLife?