Not coping

At all 😢 I just feel like I'm drowning. My 2.5year old is bored and I can see she's not very happy at the moment. Her behaviour has really changed and she's started hitting etc. Today my mum was going to take us all out but at half 1 we are still at home, I'm finding it impossible to leave the house. Every time I think we're ready lo needs feeding.
Lo is 7 weeks old and instead of getting easier I feel like it's all getting harder. Finding breastfeeding so so hard with latch problems and he won't go down at all.
I've had enough. I'm not enjoying anything. Not the baby, not my toddler, not anything right now. I was desperate to persevere with the breastfeeding as I felt that close bond with him but now it's causing me stress but the thought of giving it up makes me feel even worse; I feel trapped.
I just want to be able to enjoy my family as I know they will grow so quickly 😢 but I'm finding it all just impossible.

Have postnatal appt with gp this afternoon so will be discussing all of this then, I just need to let it out. Is anyone else struggling like this? I had pnd with my first which I feel maybe the case again now 😢 i feel like such a failure and know my babies deserve so much better.
I want to run away from it all, but I love them that much it hurts so I couldn't.so I'm just stuck.

Comments (12)

I’m so sorry ur feeling down. I have the same age gap too and it’s hard sometimes, like if they both cry at once it’s so overwhelming! Also totally agree it’s hard to leave the house!! The sling is a life saver have u got one? We went out this morning to a playgroup and it was nice cos bubs slept in sling and I could have some QT with toddler

I am battling postnatal depression too. I also had it with my first. I feel exactly the same about not coping and not getting out - my dd1 is much older too so I don't have that to contend with. Rant away - I think there are plenty of us feeling the same. I hope your appointment goes well xx

I was diagnosed with ptsd after my first and really struggled to get through the day. Breastfeeding wasnt going great but like you I didn’t want to give up. It’s horrible isn’t it.

This time round breastfeeding is going ok, apart from it being pretty much every 1.5hrs which is taking its toll on my 4yr old and that is killing me so I know how you feel. I have been so close to giving up so many times and if I felt how I did first time round (which sounds like how you feel now) I wouldn’t hesitate. You can still feel close to lo when feeding a bottle. The decision and the transition is the worst part but remember that you need to be happy too!

Send me a message if you want to chat. You are not alone and you can do this 😊 xx

It’s super hard with two little people. Also have the same age gap. As pp said, a sling is a lifesaver. I must admit I was reluctant to use it at first (when you’re stressed it feels like a faff trying to get it on) but weeks later and it means I feel less stressed in the mornings getting toddler ready and around tea time especially.

Hope your GP appt is useful to sound off and they offer you some support.

I’ve really reached out for help this time learning that Trying to do everything myself first time round exhausted me... and now I have two. Example... MIL (mother-in-law) has toddler couple hours once a week... now I ask MIL (mother-in-law) to collect her from me and come a bit early to help out getting her dressed etc.

In terms of breastfeeding - i feel the same but have decided to continue. A busy box of things I can do one handed on the sofa has helped. I have a pile of books that I change up every few days to read to toddler while feeding. Sometimes I’m so tired I just chuck a programme on and try not to feel guilty as baby has to feed and toddler won’t be damaged if we up our tv time in these early days.

Fresh air is also my go to when I’m feeling low and toddler is going stir crazy. You could find us in the garden in pjs, coats (baby in sling) the other day. Didn’t need to face the public but we all felt better for the air and picking up some leaves, pretending to water the ‘plants’, having a walk around

I really hope your gp appointment goes well. You are not failing, it's so so hard sometimes having two little people who need you esp when breastfeeding.

All my advice has already been given, use a sling, try and get fresh air even if just in your garden, and don't beat yourself up if toddler has to watch a bit more TV than usual. Personally I feel I've adapted better to going from one kid to two kids than I did going from no kids to one kid but I think it's because this time around I have just learned to relax and not expect too much of myself. I don't have to strive to be perfect because I am perfect in my children's eyes and I try my best! You are perfect in your children's eyes too!

So sorry you're feeling like this. Don't think you're on your own & it's good to talk even on here. I have a 6yr old and the battles can be the same she always seems to want to play when I'm feeding I'm sure she does it on purpose to test me. She's wanting me to help with the toilet when she's more than capable.

I've had days where I don't know when to go out worry what if he needs food but Im there to feed him. I'd say the days have been much worse when I've decided not to go out as you get cabin fever on top of the new baby stress. Force yourself to get out when planned even if it's later than you wanted it to be you'll feel so much better getting out the house. I went to visit my work yesterday planned to be there at 10 got there at 12 haha and then spent 20 minutes in an office feeding him but I felt a spring in my step having got out and seen my work colleagues. X

Learn more

Your growing child

7 month old, third week

Teething can start as early as three months or as late as 12 months, but most babies sprout their first teeth between four and seven months of age. Don't be alarmed if your baby has gaps between his pearly whites. Read More

7 month old, fourth week

Your baby's emotions are now more obvious. She may blow a kiss to familiar people, and even repeat it if you clap in appreciation. Over the next few months, your baby may learn to understand moods and show the first signs of empathy. Read More

8 month old, first week

Your baby's newfound mobility means that he's now entering the land of bumps and falls. These are an inevitable part of childhood, and although your heart may occasionally skip a beat or two, try to enjoy watching him explore. Read More

8 month old, second week

Your baby's exploring objects by shaking them, banging them, dropping them and throwing them before falling back on the tried-and-tested method of gumming them. The idea that you do something to an object is beginning to emerge. Read More

You are passing a message to a BabyCentre staff member.
For the fastest help on community guidelines violations, please click 'Report this' on the item you wish the staff to review.
For general help please read our Help section or contact us.