>> Thursday, April 25, 2013

Date a girl without a head. Date a girl who has broken free from the shackles of society and convention. Date a girl who doesn't care so hard that she literally lopped off her head one morning and never looked back. She is utterly incapable of looking back. In fact, she can't look at anything at all. I mean sometimes she wants to and then it's kind of a bitch to have to feel for things with her hands and the stump of her neck, but the girl without a head is nothing if not brave.

Date a girl without a head. Date a girl who has not only been called "strange" and "foolhardy" but also "freakish", "repulsive" and "horrifying". The girl without a head squares her shoulders and takes everything life has to throw at her without as much as blinking an eyelid (she has none). The well-meaning advice of friends and the taunts of strangers - they all roll off her like water off a duck. Or like water off a smooth stump where a head used to be. You can mess up your metaphors. The girl without a head won't mind. She can't hear you anyway.

It's easy to spot this girl in public. She's the one without a head. You might find her at a cafe, folding origami into shapes that look vaguely head-like, or you might find her walking down the street - arms outstretched - grabbing hold of and rubbing the face of anyone unlucky enough to be looking down at their phone while walking. The girl without a head tries to be strong, but sometimes it simply isn't enough. Hold her hands in yours and kiss the side of her neck when she least expects it. It's easy because she never expects it. She likes that.

Date a girl without a head because nothing will ever faze the children you will have together. No monster under their bed could ever hold a candle to your girl. They will not only be tough and quick with their fists (PTA meetings will be hard to live down) but will also be the smartest kids around because interacting with their mother will involve looking at an abacus or a softy rotating globe affixed to their mother's neck. The girl without a head wants only the best for her children.

Grow old with the girl without a head. Sit with her on your front porch and feel the frayed edges of her head-stump gently flutter in the spring breeze as she lays it on your shoulder. Love her then. Love her forever.

Date a girl without a head. Or better yet, date a girl with neither a head nor a torso.

>> Wednesday, April 24, 2013

So I'm writing this in an effort to stop "doing the twitter" so much and slowly (maybe) regain control of my writing faculty and also other faculties in general (but hopefully not my Immunology faculty from college. She and I, we had our differences). Because a) I might have forgotten how to write long sentences and b) I'm worried that my brain has started thinking in 140 characters. You spend so much time trying to fit your nice complex thought into a simple sentence that slowly the simple sentence is all the complex thought you can muster. AMIRITE. hurrrrr.
Okay, I'm tired already. Baby steps.