sidekick.

This is what life looks like when you are three and the only one at home all day. You get to do stuff your older sibs never did like nap on the monster bed and eat Spoonlickers for lunch. Ok, the older ones have totally eaten Spoonlickers for lunch too, but you won’t know that because you’re only three and because your mom told you this was a crazy thing you could do because it’s just you and her. And the naps only happen a couple times a week, but when they do it’s like the most heavenly thing on earth. Just me and her, snuggled up on the monster bed. I read my book and pretend that I’m not peeking at her out of the corner of my eye, trying to gauge when she’s actually asleep, but eventually I just get lost in the pages and then I hear her breathing deepen and she rolls even closer so that she’s practically inside my skin and then I know we’re good to go. And then I force myself to stay there in that place for a little bit because I’m really good at cheating myself out of down time and I’m trying not to do that. Trying not to feel guilty if I put my feet up on the job every once in a while. Trying not to lay there drumming my fingers and thinking of what in the world I’m going to make for dinner and about what in the sam hill Tess is going to wear for yellow day tomorrow (I hate yellow). Because I’ve never had the gift of unfettered time with one of my three year olds and I’m sucking the marrow out of it. And noticing things about her that I missed this summer when there were so many small people around that I counted it a good day if everyone was wearing pants and had eaten a protein. Noticing things like the fact that she goes potty, pulls down the toilet paper until it’s touching the floor but doesn’t rip it off, wipes and then rolls it back up. Have wondered all summer why the toilet paper is rolled up funny. Why it’s damp. And I’m noticing that she has her nodder (pacifier) all the time and that I would have been totally aghast at the others if they’d still been using it this much at their ages. Totally aghast and calling up the Nodder Fairy to come get these dang things already, they’ll ruin her teeth. But if I take them away now, that’ll be the end of naps, I think. And that would be like shooting myself in the foot. And shooting her in the foot too. And then getting ticked off when she complained about it. See where I’m going here? All this to say that the Nodder Fairy is coming, just not today. Because today there is the promise of another nap time, this one maybe with blustery weather outside my bedroom doors and a cuppa tea cooling on my nightstand and the latest book I’ve picked up in hand and the lure of doing nothing more than just being with her for a little while. And that won’t happen tomorrow because we have our first ballet lesson (finally) and it’s going to be hot outside, but maybe Tuesday. Tuesday is looking good.This is me being real. Wondering what you’re looking for on the horizon?

Suzanne, you are the master of savoring the sleepy moments, I know that about you. Still remembering hearing you tell how you and Olivia used to snuggle the afternoons away. Wondered if I'd ever get there. Hope you're well.Bradi, can't believe you're down to one, even if it's on just a few days a week. Isn't it fun? Perhaps my one would enjoy hanging out with your one while their mamas catch up, no?I love you mom.