â€œCuff â€˜Emâ€ is a daily look at whoâ€™s in trouble with the law. Itâ€™s our hope to limit this to 5 sports-related morons, but it can be modified at our discretion or if there is a sudden outbreak of superior stupidity.

Hideki Irabu is back in the news after drinking “20 jugs of beer” and attacking a bar manager because the ATM didn’t work at the bar he was getting smashed in. This has to be one of the funniest stories we’ve covered in this space. The former pitcher grabbed the bar’s 22-year-old manager by the collar, pushed him against the wall and yanked his hair, the official said. He also threw ashtrays and beer bottles, prompting staff to call police, news reports say.

Ty Lawson had his day in court yesterday and got off his DUI rap. It’s nice to be an athlete at UNC.