An Apostle's Liberating Views on Equality in
Marriage, Leadership, and Love: With Questions by John Temple Bristow.

Ephes. 5:21-32 -
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.[22]
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.[23] For the husband is the head of the
wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the
body.[24] Therefore as the church is
subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every
thing.[25] Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it
with the washing of water by the word,[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having
spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without
blemish.[28] So ought men to love
their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.[29] For no man ever yet hated his own
flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:[30] For we are members of his body, of his
flesh, and of his bones.[31] For this
cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his
wife, and they two shall be one flesh.[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the
church.

Three words: (1) “Head” –(2)“Be subject to” (3) “Love”

Even in the English translation, one
may note that the scope of this passage is limited to husbands and wives
(except the first sentence, which is directed to all members of the Church).Moreover, although this scripture is often
lifted up in reference to women, more of it is written to husbands than to
wives (in the Greek, 47 words are directed at wives while 143 are
directed at husbands).

Now, there are three key words
in this passage that embody the concepts within the new model Paul presented
for Christian couples, words that are easily misunderstood when translated into
English.

Key Word
#1: Head

"The husband is head of the
wife," Paul explained, "as Christ is head of the church." In
English, the word head means literally the physical head of one's body
and figuratively the leader of a body of people.The two meanings are intertwined.

Not so in Greek, where two
different and distinct words are translated "head." One of these is arche(pronounced ar-KAY).It means
"head" in terms of leadership and point of origin.It was used to denote "beginning"
in the sense of the first or point of inception (and we use this Greek word as
a prefix in such words as archaeology, archetype, and archives,
all relating to old or first things). just as it was used to denote point
of origin, so we use head that way in the word headwaters (of
a river).Arche was also used to
denote "first" in terms of importance and pow­er (and we use it as a
prefix in such words as archangel, arch­bishop,
archenemy, archduke, and so on, all relating to the head or a
groupin terms of leadership).Forms of arche are used throughout
the New Testament, including the writings of Paul, to designate the head or
leader of a group of people.These
forms are translated "magistrate," "chief," "
prince," "ruler," "head," and so forth.

Now, in the Bible we find many
puns, not as a form of humor so much as a form of wisdom, where a word was used
that meant two things, both of which were true and were intended to be
understood by the one word.For
example, Jesus told a woman in Samaria that he would give her
"living" water (John 7:10), and the word translated
"living" also means "running." Another time Jesus
"breathed" on his disciples and told them to "receive Holy
Spirit" (John 20:22); in Greek (and also in He­brew) the word for
"spirit" also means "breath."

Therefore, if Paul had believed
as Aristotle taught, that hus­bands should command their wives and rule
over them, then Paul could have made a pun out of the word arche.He could have written that the
husband is the arche (head) of the wife, and in that one sentence he
would have meant that the husband is to rule over the wife and at the same time
have reminded his readers how man (Adam) was the source of woman (Eve, who was
formed of Adam's rib).Both senses
of arche (ruler, and point of origin) would have been invoked.'

However, Paul did not choose to
use the word arche when he wrote of how the husband is head of his
wife.He was well aware of that word,
but he deliberately chose a different term.

Instead, Paul used the word kephale(pronounced kef-ah-LAY).This word
does mean "head," the part of one's body.It was also used to mean "foremost" in terms of
position (as a capstone over a door, or a cornerstone in a foundation).It was never used
to mean "leader" or "boss" or "chief" or
"ruler." Kephale is also a military term.It means "one who leads," but not in the sense of "director." Kephale
did not denote "general," or “captain," or someone
who orders the troops from a safe dis­tance; quite the opposite, a kephale was one who went
before the troops, the leader in the sense of
being in the lead, the first one into battle. (Like a
Pointman.)

Therefore, two words in Greek can
both be translated into the one English word head.One word means "boss,"
the other means "physical head" (or, sometimes, "the first
soldier into battle").Unfortunately, an English-speaking person who reads that the husband is
head of his wife will normally conclude that this means the husband is to rule
over his wife.This is what Aristotle taught and what most
Hellenized people thought.The husband
is an arche to his wife, head of the household and ruler over all his
family.Paul
deliberately chose the other word.But
people who depend on the English translation cannot know that.

Can one be certain that arche
and kephale were so different from each other in meaning?Could kephale not sometimes mean
"boss" or "ruler"?One way to be certain is to note how these two words were used in the Septuagint.The Old Testament, except for a few
portions, was written in Hebrew.But by
the age of Paul, few persons could read that language.Instead, they depended upon a translation
of the Old Testament from Hebrew into Greek, which was called the Septuagint.Paul was familiar with this translation and
quoted from it.

Now, in Hebrew, just as in
English, one word means both "physical head" and "ruler."
The word is rosh.If arche and ke­phale were
more or less synonymous and could be used inter­changeably, then when the
seventy scholars who wrote the Septuagint came to the Hebrew word rosh, they
could have used either Greek word as they wished, or instead just used one of
the two all the time.However, they
were very careful to note how the word rosh was used, whether it meant
"physical head" or "ruler of a group." Whenever rosh meant
"physical head," they translated it kephale; or whenever
rosh referred to the first soldier leading others into battle with
him, they also translated it kephale.But when rosh meant "chief" or
"ruler," they translat­ed it arche or some form of that word.Every time, this
distinc­tion was carefully preserved.

Paul was certainly familiar with
both words.He
knew the language, he read and quoted from the Septuagint, and he
used both words in his own writing.The
difference between the two would have been obvious to him.Modern readers, however, may misunderstand
Paul, assuming that the word for head that Paul used also carried the
figurative meaning of "boss" or "rul­er." Paul in fact
took great care not to say that.

Key Word
#2: Be Subject To

In the translation of Eph. 5:21-33
given earlier, the words besubject toappear three times.Church members are to be subject to one
another, and wives are to be subject to
their husbands just as the Church is subject to Christ.Three kinds of relation­ships are defined by a key word that is usually translated
"be subject to."

This phrase in English may bring
to mind images from chil­dren's fairy tales of medieval settings, with kings
and their sub­jects."Be
subject to" may sound like a command to bow before the ruler, who sits
on his throne dressed in ermine and holding a jeweled gold scepter.And one might then assume that Paul was
telling wives that they are to obey their husbands as a subject would obey the
king.

Now, if the word translated
"head" meant "boss," then hus­bands are to rule their
wives; and the word translated "be sub­ject to" would naturally mean
"to obey." But since kephale does not mean "ruler" or convey any sense of leadership
(aside from meaning "the first into battle"), then perhaps
the word Paul used that is translated "be subject to " does not
convey a sense of obedience.In fact,
the use of that word in verse 21 ("be subject to one another")
clarly demonstrates that it does not mean obedience,
for it would be as impossible for a group of people to be obedient to each
other as it would be for a group to follow each other.

Now, in Greek there is a word
that means 'to obey." It can be translated 'be subject to,' but
it carries the idea of dutiful obedience.It is hupakouo (pronounced
hoop-ah-KOO-o), a word that a parent might use
regarding a child or master might use regarding a slave.And Paul knew this word.In fact, he used it a few sentences later in
reference to children (Eph. 6:1).But while Greek philosophers would place wives under the tutelage of
their husbands, and while the custodianship of a Jewish girl was passed at the
time of her marriage directly from her father to her husband, Paul had no
thought of wives being like chil­dren to their husbands, so he did not use
this word.It is not the word that is
translated "be subject to."

Moreover, in Greek there is
another word that means "be subject to" and "obey."
It is peitharcheo (peith-ar-KAY-o), one of the words built upon arche,
"ruler." This word is found only three times in the New
Testament, twice in Acts (5:29 and 27:21) and once in Titus (3:1).There, and in other writings out­side the
New Testament, it describes obedience to someone who is in authority.When Peter and the other apostles were
arrested for disobeying their Judean rulers who had ordered them not to teach
in the name of Jesus, they used peitharcheo in their courageous
response: 'We must obey God rather than men." But Paul had no
thought of husbands governing their wives.

When referring to wives, Paul
used a form of yet a different Greek word, hupotasso
(hoop-o-TASS-o).It is
not a word
one would normally use regarding children or slaves.In its active form, hupotasso might
be used of a conqueror concerning the vanquished.It means "to subject to," "to subordinate."
But Paul did not use hupotasso in its active form to describe any
person.He used it only to tell
what God does.He did not tell husbands to hupotasso their wives.

Instead, Paul used this word in addressing wives only in its imperative,
middle voice form (compare Col. 3:18).By writing it in the imperative mood, he was instructing
wives.He was not describing
them (as Aristotle did when he claimed that "the male is by nature fitter
to command than the female").Instead of describing them, he was appealing to them.And in writing the word in the middle voice
form, he was emphasizing the voluntary nature of
being "subject to."

This latter point needs an
explanation.In English, verbs can be
in the active or passive voice.In the
active voice, the subject of the verb is acting.In the passive voice, the subject of the verb is being acted
upon.Greek has the same active and
passive voices.But it has also a
third, middle voice, in which the subject of the verb is acting in a way that
affects the subject.

It is difficult for
English-speaking persons to grasp the subtle yet important distinction between middle
and passive voice in Greek verbs just by reading the definition, and yet we
think in ways that the Greek verb forms express.For example, a person may teach-an active
verb.And, one may be taught-a passive
verb.But a person may also teach
himself or herself by careful listening, discovering, reasoning, learning.In that sense, the person is both subject
and object of the action.That is what
the Greek middle voice expresses, a voluntary action
by the subject of the verb upon the subject of the verb.

Now, it would be possible in Greek
to tell a person to subject someone else (although Paul never did so);
and it would be possible to describe someone as being subject to another.But one cannot
tell another to be subjected, any more than one can tell someone to be learned.However, Paul used hupotassoin the middle voice.This
way, he was requesting that wives voluntar­ily,
willingly, actively be subject to their husbands.This is the form hupotassomai (hoop-o-TASS-o-my).Since it is asking for something that is
voluntary in nature, "be subject to" is an awkward translation at
best.Hupotassomai means
something like "give allegiance to,"
"tend to the needs of," "be supportive of," or "be
responsive to." Perhaps the best meaning of hupotas­somai
is found in a German translation of that word, sich unter­stellen,
"to place oneself at the disposition of.113

There is, in addition, another
meaning to hupotassomai.It
also served as a military term, referring to taking a position in a
phalanx of soldiers.In this sense,
there is no reference to any idea of rank or status-it was an equal sharing of the task for which the soldiers
were ordered.If a soldier failed to
join the others, or held back during an advance, a captain might use a form of
the verb hupotassomai to order him to return to the line, join his
fellows, be supportive of them, fulfill his part of the assignment.

In that sense, Paul could tell all
the members of the Church to be subject to (hupotassomai) one another,
and he could also tell wives to be subject to their husbands.For hupotassomai is not a ranking of
persons as ruler and ruled.It is a
concise appeal for the Church to have its members live
out their call to be "the body of Christ and individually members of
it" (1 Cor. 12:27; compare Rom. 12:15; 1 Cor. 10:16-17; Eph.
2:16, 3:6, 4:4,16; Col. 1:18), to be willing to "bear one another's
burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2).What is true of the Church, Paul added, is
to be true of a marriage.

Key Word
#3: Love

Three times in the short passage
in Ephesians about hus­bands and wives, Paul instructed husbands to love
their wives, as if he needed to press the matter.The English word love has a scattered meaning, connoting
everything from enjoyment of something to sexual intercourse.Therefore, translating Paul's appeal to read
"Husbands, love your wives" leaves his meaning rather vague.

In Greek, there are several words
for love.One of them is erao (er-AH-o),
which denotes having sexual desire and pas­sion.Paul did not command this kind of love-indeed, it is not
something that can be commanded.There
is also the word phi­leo (fill-EH-o),
which means feeling fondness, friendship, a deep liking.It too is an emotional kind of love, a
warmth that cannot be ordered into being.A third word is agapao (ah-ga­PAH-o), which has been popularized in recent
years in its noun form, agape (ah-GA-pay).This kind of love is not so much a matter of emotion as
attitude and action.It is the most fre­quently used form in the New Testament,
and because it focuses upon a person's attitudes and actions, one can be asked
to agapao someone.The great commandments use this word, tell­ing us to love God and to
love our neighbor.Jesus used this word
in his instruction that we love our enemies.And Jesus defined this word in his parable of the good Samaritan, when a
man helped another who was a stranger, an enemy, a victim who could not (and
probably would not) repay the kindness,

Agapao is
almost identical with hupotassomai.Both involve giv­ing up one's self-interest to serve
and care for another's.Both mean being
responsive to the needs of the other.And both are commended to all Christians, as well as to husbands and
wives.

In Jewish literature, a favorite form of writing involved
using synonyms in parallel fashion.The
Psalms illustrate this device repeatedly:

The earth is the Lord's and the fulness
thereof, the world and those who dwell therein.... (Ps. 24:1 RSV)

In the section of Paul's letter to
the Ephesians that we are con­sidering, the apostle used two key words in just
such a parallel fashion.Wives are to “hupotassomai” their husbands; husbands
are to agapao their wives.