Signs you’ve outgrown your friends

Friendship can be one of life’s greatest gifts to us. We’re drawn to people who have something in common with us and who are in alignment with us. We attract people who mirror certain aspects of ourselves. It’s not unusual for our friends to be people who are growing in the same direction.

But what happens when friendship goes bad? Even if you’ve been close for years, gone to college together or were in each other’s weddings, you can find yourself drifting apart and the friendship souring. There are a number of signs that our friendships are no longer meeting our needs as they may have once done.

—When you talk on the phone, you find yourself struggling to think of something to say.

—You barely spend time together, and if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t want to spend time with them.

—You find yourself putting off communicating with them.

—You feel hurt or misunderstood by them.

—You hold back key details of your life from them.

Why we outgrow our friends

So what happens when we outgrow our friends? It’s actually not an unusual thing. As Law of Attraction practitioners know, we attract people who are in alignment with us and who are vibrating at a similar level as us. In this short video for Manifestation Miracle, a self-help program and e-book by Heather Mathews, she describes how we create our realities via our thoughts and beliefs. Many of us believe we must learn the Law of Attraction, but in reality, it’s already at work in our lives. The friendships that you have are direct evidence of your thoughts and beliefs. So when we begin to outgrow friends, it’s showing us how our thoughts and beliefs are changing. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Think of the things in your life that you want to change. In order for that to happen, your thoughts and beliefs must change. And when that happens, some of your relationships die out, but others take their place. In Manifestation Miracle, Mathews writes: “We choose friends who are somehow like us and whose energy is also like ours. We are attracted to our friends… and they are attracted to us. …because they are like us.”

The next time you go out, try the following experiment. Intend to vibrate joy, love and happiness and plant a big smile on your face. See how many grumpy people you notice. I’m betting you’ll notice very few, if any. Instead, you’ll find people smiling back and returning your upbeat vibe. Something similar happens with our relationships. On a subconscious level, we’re all emitting vibes that can be picked up by those around us. When our vibes are similar to those of a friend, we enjoy being around each other and we get along well with that person. But when our vibes are no longer in sync, we feel distant from the person and the friendship no longer feels good.

We all grow at different paces. If you’re into personal growth, as you likely are if you’re reading this article and if you’re on this site, then chances are you think growth is a good thing. You’re always trying to better yourself by reading self-help books, taking workshops and paying attention to your inner needs. Not everyone feels the same way. Some people would rather not know what they’re feeling or understand what they subconsciously believe. If you’re into personal growth and choose to live consciously, you’re going to grow faster than the average person. What that often means is that it’s easy to outgrow your friends.

How to outgrow your friends graciously

So what do you do when you’ve outgrown your friends or you’ve simply grown apart?

There are a number of ways that you can handle a dying friendship. You can decide the relationship is worth working to save it.

You can just cut them off and move on with your life. If that’s what you want to do, then you should do what feels right. In some cases, a friendship is so difficult to maintain that it may be better to just cut the emotional cords between yourself and the person you’re no longer in alignment with. Don’t feel guilty for choosing to be around people who make you feel good.

You can get together sporadically, perhaps meeting once a quarter or every few months. If you two share a tradition such as going on an outlet shopping spree once a year, perhaps you continue to share the tradition if not much else.

You can communicate through greeting cards. There are many different levels of friendship. There are some people that you contact once or twice a year by sending a holiday or birthday card. Allow the friendship to exist at that level.

How to make new friends using the Law of Attraction

Perhaps the bigger challenge is how to make new friends. According to Manifestation Miracle, it’s really not that challenging at all. Just as your changing thoughts and beliefs are causing some friendships to fade away, they are sending energy into the Universe to attract new friends that are more in alignment with who you are today. “Whatever you give, via your thoughts, your perspective, your feelings or your vibrations is what you will receive in return,” Mathews writes.

Mathews suggests that you think of an area of your life and notice how you feel. So let’s take friendship. Chances are, since a friendship is disintegrating, you are feeling a little down about friendship. That shows that you’re not in a position to manifest a rewarding relationship. Now, let’s examine your thoughts. You might think, ‘friends can’t be trusted,’ or ‘people don’t understand me.’ That will only create more instances to show you that that is correct. When the thought pops up, replace it with ‘I’m attracting people who are trustworthy,’ or ‘I’m now attracting those who understand me and are in alignment with me.’ It might feel like you’re lying to yourself at first, but continue to think your new thoughts whenever the old ones pop up in your head. Eventually, the new thoughts will gain more power and your subconscious mind will begin to believe them. At that point, you’ll see that you will naturally start attracting new friends who truly get you, and you’ll see that the dissolving friendship was simply making room for one that fits the person you have become today.