(Closed) Fiance wants to pay for the dress. Would you accept?

In one of my previous posts I talked about how in love I was with this Vera Wang gown I saw on her website. I have never seen this dress in person and my intention was to try it on but I found out it was way over my budget. Two days ago I went wedding dress shopping and tried this amazing Justin Alexander a-line in ivory that I loved, it’s possibly the one. I still have an appointment at this other store to try a few more dresses but I’m head over heels for this Justin Alexander. Today my fiance asked me about the dress, if I was still obsessed with the expensive Vera Wang dress and I told him that I had found something totally different but equally beautiful. He then told me that if my dream was to get married in the Vera Wang dress he would pay for it because all he wants is to see me happy, he said he doesn’t want me to get married in “my second choice.” I thought it was really sweet of him but I don’t really know what to do. I feel like it’s wrong to have him paying for my dress, I wanted to pay for it but my budget is very low. I can afford the Justin Alexander and I haven’t even tried the Vera Wang dress, I might look awful in it but what if I love it? Would you let your fiance pay for your wedding dress? I think we’re talking about something near $10K here.

@Diamond30: I think if you’re really head over heels for that Justin Alexander, then get that one! Would you really be disappointed if you love that “second choice” to the point where you’re over the moon with it?

$10K? Wow! But if it’s something that your Fiance can comfortably afford, and he clearly wants to make you happy, then accept. But if it isn’t so affordable then don’t risk starting off your marriage in debt which can lead to arguments later on.

I probably wouldn’t buy a dress that would be out of my budget even if my fiance was willing to pay for it, because we have very similar incomes and also our money is functionally already combined, and shortly will be ACTUALLY officially combined. So if it’s way out of my budget, it’s also probably way out of his/our budget.

That said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your fiance paying for the dress. We’ve split our wedding expenses fairly equitably mostly according to whoever was most convenient to pay at the time. If for whatever reason he had been there with a credit card when I bought the dress, I would have seen no problem with him buying it. As it is, I bought my dress and his ring and paid for the venue, he’s arranging the cake and paid for my ring and the photographer and his suit).

If you’ve found something else you love that’s cheaper, and you feel better about the price/don’t feel comfortable accepting it, go with that. But if not- don’t feel guilty accepting a gift from the person you’re about to marry!

My fiance and I have a wedding account that we both contribute to. I use it for all of our wedding expenses including my dress and his suit and both of our wedding bands. So in a sense, he might be paying for part of my dress.

That being said, only you two know your financial situation. We are in the middle of buying a house AND paying for a wedding so a $10k dress would never, ever, be an option for us. If it’s just a drop in the bucket for him, then let him buy it. But I’d probably pass it up for a cheaper dress.

I would let my fiancé pay for my dress in a more reasonable price range, but I wouldn’t buy a $10k dress nor would I let him pay in that price range. Even if you’re making $200k a year, that’s an awful lot of money for a dress.

@Diamond30: If your Fiance can afford it, I say at least try it on. You’ll either adore it and it’ll be the one or you’ll realize you love the other dress more. The last thing you want is that nagging feeling that you never got to know if the VW dress was it.