Friday, August 3, 2018

Franny Mommy : On being the Best Mom #BestBeginsNow

Yaya D left us last Sunday. After 8 months of being our helping hand in watching over my twins. She left. The downside? She left without a proper notice..much less without even saying good bye. *sigh*

My pride and joy ♥ ♥ ♥

I won't lie. My heart sank when I read her vague message of her telling me that she won't come back from her supposed 3 days day off as she wanted to rest some more. Her excuse? She got a really painful lump in her throat and according to her, it's making it really hard for her to breathe. Well, I asked my brother-in-law E who's an ENT to look into this week ago when she first complained about it and he saw...nothing. Absolutely nothing. A quick check on her Facebook page over the weekend also saw her singing her heart out with her boyfriend. For somebody who has a lump on her throat, it's amazing how she can still belt out those high tunes. Well, at first, I panicked. Then I felt really sad. More than the frightening thought that I'll temporarily lose my freedom as I need to attend to my twins 24/7, it's the thought that my twins might suddenly notice that "someone" is missing. Luckily, they're too young to identify specific people much less say who's who except for Mama and Dada (thank God!) but I was worried that J, most especially, might look for her. Thankfully, he didn't. Later on, my sadness turned to anger. I felt really betrayed on how she just ended her tenure with us. Apparently, she brought along quite a lot of clothes when she went out for her day off last Saturday and of course, since I trusted her already, I didn't bothered to check her bag. Yaya D, to us, was like family. We made sure to treat her really well (bordering spoiling her) and I, for one, saw her as my partner in caring for my twins. It's unfortunate that she just burned the bridge with one impulsive, very irresponsible act.

If there's one thing that I've learned for being yaya-less for a couple of days now, I realized that nannies and helpers will come and go. They can leave you with proper notice, they can leave you without any warning, some might have to be asked to leave if they did something fishy but no matter what, we can never be fully dependent on them. I guess, I'm glad that Paul and I have been really hands-on parents to our twins since Day 1. Remember how our first nanny also ditched us during their 1st month of life so Yaya D's departure wasn't something new to us. It was probably doubly exhausting but definitely not shocking. I remembered one thing that a friend told me: "No matter what, we, as parents should be the constant figures in our children's lives."

All my life, I've always been a perfectionist. It really comes hand in hand with my OCD nature. I've always strive to do things perfectly, hoping that it was done at the perfect time, with a perfect strategy. With everything I do, I have the tendency to put all my heart into it so when things do not go as planned, it really hurts so much.

I've always wanted to be a Mom. While others might have dreams of being a flight attendant, a marine biologist, going to the moon, being some kiss-ass entrepreneur or a corporate giant walking down the streets of NYC, my dream was pretty simple. I just wanted to have a family and be the best mom that I can be.

So, when I finally delivered my twins 9 months ago, that moment was indeed a dream come true for me. Since that day forward, I promised myself that I will try to be the best version of a mom that I can be. Whether it's staying up to nurse them or carrying them in my arms all night when they're down with a stuffy nose or playing and singing songs to them or making silly, funny faces to hear them chuckle. Hearing them call out to "Mama" is enough to make my heart swell and to give me that validation that I might be doing things right, after all.

Recently, I attended the launch of Aquafina, a brand of bottled purified water that's finally here in Manila. In between sips, I listened to stories from Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach, food stylist (and my friend) Chichi Tullao of @happytummytravels, Chef Nicco Santos of Hey Handsome and Your Local and Magic 89.9 DJs Sam YG and Suzy Gamboa and more on how they are striving to be the best versions of themselves. Being the best is no easy task. It takes time and lots of effort and motivation to keep on going but if you put your heart into it, then it can be done. Indeed, ain't no mountain high enough.

Still reminding myself daily that there's no perfect moms, just real ones, however, I also believe that being the best is subjective on how you want your "best" to be. To me, aiming to be the best mom for my twins means being there for them all the time..all throughout their lives. I want to be the type of mom who's involved and someone whom they will always share their daily stories with. I want to not only be their Mom but their confidante and best friend someday. Together with Paul, I want to teach them the value of Family and the importance of sticking together not only as siblings but with us, their parents too. I will open our communication line and will encourage them to voice out their thoughts and to not be afraid to express themselves all the time. I'll be their biggest fan, their #1 cheerleader and greatest motivator all rolled into one. Likewise, I want to keep them grounded to their roots, to have genuine compassion for others and to have a strong relationship with God.

I guess, looking at this preliminary list, it may seem a lot but I am lucky that I got two role models to look up to -- My Mommy and Papa. I always tell myself that if they were able to do it, then I guess it truly is possible after all.

Now, enough of my musing as it's time to hydrate myself before one of the twins wake up to nurse. Perhaps, the next time you hold a bottle of Aquafina you'll then be reminded to always just aim to be the best version of yourself.

Aquafina is available in all leading groceries and convenience stores nationwide.

2 comments:

Hi Fran, I used to read your blog quite frequently but have not been reading it for the past one and a half years because of my busy schedule. I started reading it again today and saw that you have moved back to Manila and you already have a twin. I have always wanted to comment on your blog but I just did not have the chance to. Just want to congratulate you and Paul for having a twin. Hope you are coping well taking care of your kids. I reside in Australia and I am happy to meet up when you come and visit next time.

Hi G! Thank you for visiting again :) Yes a lot has changed for the past year and we are now proud parents of our adorable twins. :) Thank you for the kind words and I look forward to meeting you someday.