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And we’re off! Again!

I’ve been pretty slammed at work and so haven’t had much time to focus on anything else. And so I hardly even noticed when the email from our social worker slipped into my inbox today. But now here we are, home study approved again! I’ve been waiting for this to come. I mistakenly thought get our home study updated for a second child would be less intense then the first go around, but that was not the case. We’ve been frustrated by several new steps the agency has added to the process now. And yet now that we are approved, I’m worried…hesitant…anxious.

How do I begin putting together a profile that captures who we are as a family of three? And who we might be as a family of four? It seems like our son is changing so fast…and that our life with him is changing so fast. I actually started updating our profile book several months when we were first updating the home study, thinking that the home study wouldn’t take so long. But I look at it now and it seems so out of date. Did I really put a picture of him in a high chair? He won’t go in one now! A stroller? He prefers to walk (OK, run) everywhere.

Defining our life as a family of three and putting it out there for a potential birthmother to see somehow seems way more high stakes than painting a picture of just M and I as a couple. Then my ideas of who I would be as a mother were just in the abstract. But it’s here now. It’s our reality. And I am overwhelmed by how to begin capturing it in a few pages.