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My Shepherd Shuts the Mouths of Bears, Lions, and Me

Today:

I am abstinent by the grace of God, one more day at a time. For details, check out my food journal.

Strange day! Weakened by sleep deprivation and poor air quality due to a series of fires in my area, I fell asleep shortly after breakfast and did not wake up until quite too late to go for my scheduled gym workout, and almost too late to get to work on time. Sometimes the body demands what it needs. I will not allow this to make me feel like I failed to keep to my plan, but accept it as just such a demand.

“They want to learn all they can, and they never know whom their Higher Power might choose to teach them.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 203

This passage refers to a speaker who, after sharing their experience, sits down to hear whoever might share theirs next. In this fellowship there is no hierarchy. There are no experts, no one who knows it all, no personality who stands master to the healing principles of the program. All are fellow travelers of this road of recovery on equal footing – one at a time.

The contributor to today’s VOR entry observed, “When I discard a suggestion because I find fault with the messenger, it is I who will suffer.” I have found that God’s humor and instruction come together when the voice of His wisdom comes from a person I am struggling to appreciate. No matter who speaks in a meeting, I can learn something. Sometimes I learn what to do and other times I see a visible caricature of my disease in action, but I can always benefit from listening, which also lends support to the others in the room.

“12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”

There is something very satisfying about sitting in one of the rooms of the OA fellowship where “crosstalk” during meetings is discouraged. In that setting, I am continuing to learn to let others be right or wrong without criticism, without being devalued or ridiculed for their current understanding. Everyone seems content to let the others share their perspective from their heart. Be they mistaken, they may learn of it in short order, or hear themselves voice their error in front of an audience and correct it themselves. Most often, a speaker’s degree of right or wrong seems more a matter of perspective of their hearers or perhaps a telltale symptom of the sharing person’s spiritual sickness. Regardless, as we all learn to keep our opinions to ourselves, the room becomes safer, and each of us leaves a little better exercised at holding his tongue. Who knows? Maybe those relationships we have harmed with our interfering character defects might even benefit from our honing this skill. The understanding developed while making amends for the harms we have done certainly seems to make keeping the trap shut easier!

The 23rd Psalm is one of the most beautiful expressions of trust in the provision and protection of God I know. From the darkest valley, through daily necessities, to hope for eternity, David’s heart for his own childhood flocks translates to the perfect word picture for the trusting submission allowed by having such a great and powerful God as our Higher Power. “4 I will fear no evil, for you are with me…” Like a sheep lies helpless before an attacking bear, whatever comes, Lord, I will trust in You, my Provider, Protector, my Patriarch.

“We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.”