I was at work and it was very busy. We’d been there for a long time and it was dark. Unfortunately people kept coming in. I was shutting down my room when one of the Dr.’s family members came in with her kids. I said hi. One of the little girls apparently really liked me and smiled. Then I went to the back where there was some sort of commotion going on with other patients. Looked like we weren’t going to be able to leave yet. I don’t remember seeing any of the doctors. It was so dark and I was so tired, but why the patients would just not leave I don’t know! I set up a bunch of blankets next to a wall, covered myself in them and decided to take a short nap. It was very warm. Then I could hear lots of noise going on around me and I felt guilty because I was the only one not working. So, I unfold myself from the blankets, let them drop and stepped out of them like I was leaving a cocoon. My coworker laughed at me and we dealt with whatever was going on. Even with all the lights out or dimmed, another patient came in to make an appointment. I looked at my phone and it said 8:26. I didn’t know if that was PM or AM. One of the other coworkers was adamant that it was AM! I was like, no way, I refuse to accept that I’d been there until morning, because if I did there’d be no reason to go home, I might as well stay since my next shift started in less than 2 hours! I ran to leave and said I have to go home! I jump into my car and pray that it was 8pm not 8am! My brain ran through the worst case scenarios. How were my dogs? Did my family worry that I didn’t come home? No one had called me to find out! It was so stressful and the worst part was that there was NO traffic on the road! BAD SIGN!!! That didn’t explain why it was so dark outside, though. I just kept hoping and praying that it was still night because I was exhausted and needed sleep and wanted a shower. It started getting brighter, then, and my anxiety spilled over until–

–I woke up to a helicopter hovering. Who knows how long it was hovering for, but it was super loud and annoying. I was, however, snug and warm in my blankets.

I’m hoping that by starting to type that I’ll remember the dreams I was going to share this morning but then didn’t and now I forgot everything.

I’m shopping. I drive to a Target and park in the parking garage. There are plenty of spaces. I walk into the Target excited to do some shopping. I’m looking at stuff and a feeling of unease washes over me. Looking up, I see that the store has lowered a blast-shield type of wall in the front of the store. It’s purple with movable parts like blinds that allow them to open and close as much or little as they like. I’m on edge now, knowing the enemy is near. Sure enough, something flows in, as the shutters open a little. Time to jump into action.

I was really tired and wanted to go to sleep. Running around, dodging enemies and damage will do that to you. I make it to my house and sneak inside. I’m way too tired to care that there are two naked women and a black guy doing something (lots of giggling) in the dormer of the room. I hop into my bed, pull the blankets tight around me and try to sleep. The giggling women emerge from the dormer, one hops onto the other bed in the room and suggestively motions for the other woman to join her on the bed. The other one starts to go but then notices me trying to sleep and gasps with a start. The black guy comes out too and hops onto the bed next to me. I sigh with exasperation at this point because all I want to do is rest in my own bed.

Then I’m down in the dark quad area surrounded by apartment or business buildings. I’m trying to get into a car to leave, as there’s a strong feeling of “run! escape!” in my mind. The black guy from before comes running out just as I try to get into the car, yelling at me to “STOP! Don’t! There are explosives in there!” I’m like, WHAT?? and try to turn around to get away, but I don’t get too far because the enemy is shooting at us already. He runs up to me and pushes me against a wall with his body, covering from fire and explosion. Once the explosions are over, I’m there, sitting with some other people. It’s cold. A group of Asian people come wandering over, other survivors. I stand up and take the coat off of a kid and put it on. It’s mine now, even though it’s too small. Hey, it’s warm. Now I’m ready, so I turn and prepare to make the journey to my destination. It involves time, since the sky lightens and darkens as I travel. I’m sometimes in a car, and sometimes trudging on foot through rough terrain.

Then it jumps to me back at the Target, except this time I arrive from a different way and it’s unbelievably crowded. I try to park in different spots, but am having a hard time figuring out if you can park there or not. I keep moving to different parking spots that look good, but then when I get into the spot, it’s not so good. People are staring at me, so I eventually make my way to the gravel lot. There are no clearly marked spots, but everyone’s just parking everywhere, so I pull into a spot that another car just came out of. It’s raining and very cold when I get out of the car, and instead of making my way over to Target, I go into the nearby building. There I see a place that I’ve been to before in a past dream. There are vending machine type things everywhere, with touch screens and some have buttons below the screen. Some of the screens are arcade games and there’s a lady playing one happily. Other machines allow you to swipe your Harris Teeter card for points. Every day you can swipe for 30 points. You get more if you pay for stuff. I’m making my way through it all, but–

Haven’t been sleeping well because of my puppy girl. There’s only one dream I remember from last night, though and it’s only a snippet of it.

We were at a house I don’t recognize, but I lived there with my mom and it was just as messy as usual. Especially my room and bathroom. We’re just going about our business and the mail lady is making her rounds. We can see and hear it. The neighborhood is nice and friendly and there are no mail boxes, you put it outside of your door and she drives around looking for them. I have a letter that needs to go out because it’s important so we set mine and my mom’s by the door and continue to prepare for work. As we’re going about doing things, the mail lady comes traipsing inside. She just takes a random tour of the house by herself and I’m sitting there hoping she doesn’t go into my bathroom. We leave her to her own devices and I happen to go upstairs and find her, of course, in my bathroom, using the sink. She doesn’t seem to mind the mess much and tells me about her daughter who is also messy. I leave and later she comes down to the kitchen where she starts to complain about her teeth. Suddenly I’m looking in her mouth as a clinician, maybe doing a cleaning, but definitely looking. She has 4 molars on the upper left and I start getting confused the more I count because she seems to have supernumeraries all over. Then I find a draining fistula and she all but flips out because she doesn’t want to go to the dentist. They told her before that something needs to be done, but she doesn’t want to and now doesn’t want to believe me. I try to show her in the mirror and she about loses it again. She pretty much tries to run from me out the door and I yell after her to go see a dentist and get an x-ray!!!

I was shopping in a store with my brother and it just so happened that I was sitting in a manual wheelchair. The wheelchair was not necessary, I could walk perfectly fine but for some reason I was having fun rolling around in it. More than likely I was just wanting to increase my arm strength, and maneuvering the wheelchair was bonus fun. Anyways, I soon realize how taboo it is to be in one when you don’t need one, so I quit pulling myself around with my legs (now working my leg muscles) and just focused on working it like I legitimately needed a wheelchair, playing it up with pitiful and morose demeanor. The public was adequately feeling sorry for me, so I bought what I wanted (it was the old MJ Designs store where I grew up) and told my brother I’d meet him at the car. I made sure to wheel myself out carefully but quickly. Thankfully we parked waaay in the back of the parking lot away from prying eyes. I opened the trunk, slowly stood up, using the car for support (just in case) and folded the chair away before carefully making my way into the car to wait. Then when we got back into the neighborhood (the old one where I grew up), I rode it all over the place again, except this time no one seemed to care and everyone else was on bikes, blades and other fun roll-y things.

Then there was a part where I was sneaking around the enemy temple at night. My teammates, or those that I cared about were scattered in there, needing to be rescued. Strange that this temple was so full of crap and flowing curtains set about in maze form. I’d find them here and there, all the while singing songs by Dalena. I was sneaking, but there were never any enemies, just the knowledge that I shouldn’t be in there.

My brain got tired of that (way too much Assassin’s Creed), and suddenly I’m in a room. There are two beds in it and various room furniture. It was nighttime too, and 3 or 4 people including me were in the room. We were having a relatively good time when it was time for 2 of them to leave. The one girl left, but the male still lay on one of the beds, lamenting that he didn’t want to go home. I didn’t think much about it until he solicited me to satisfy him. I’m like, HUH? What?! ME?! I’m a little flattered because no one would ever solicit me like that, but I’m more troubled than anything else. He’s begun to de-clothe, now in his underwear and seemingly in pain or just terribly desperate for some sexual stimulation. My body is seriously considering it, when I finally snap out of my brain fog. Unfortunately, I’m so flabbergasted and embarrassed I keep stumbling over my words. I look over for help from my roommate, but she has her head buried in her notes and homework and pointedly says, “I’m not interested in males.” Struggling to make some sense with my words, I berate him, “Your friend is my wife…I mean, MY friend is YOUR wife!!!” I keep mixing up the words and trying to tell him that he’s now married to my friend, my coworker. Why was he soliciting me? That’s something between him and her. His face falls with unspoken words and I get the implication somewhere along the line like, yes, he’s married to her, but she can’t satisfy him the way he wants and is sure that I can do a better job for him. He re-clothes, hangs his head and finally leaves.

I hop on my bed and turn to my roommate, lamenting and complaining about his audacity, and how he placed me in such an awkward position, and I don’t even know if I should tell my friend now about it. I pull up my bedclothes for emphasis, “And he wanted to defile MY BED with his infidelity!” She’s so over it at this point and settles in to her bed. It’s late and about time to sleep anyways. Right before I settle into my own, I notice her frustration, and am guilty for thinking only about me instead of paying attention to her too. So I ask what’s wrong with her. It’s her turn to lament and she spits out bitterly that she’s frustrated too, but her girlfriend didn’t want to satisfy her energy buildup. She kept complaining about how she didn’t get to run today because she was studying the whole time and now has excess sexual energy that needs draining.

I smile to myself. I’m still turned on from the little tizzy from before, so while she is repeating her grievances, I climb onto her bed, straddling her. Her eyes fly open wide and she stares at me in surprise, the unspoken wonder and question on her face. I’m into women, but you’re into men… her eyes say. She bites her lip in hesitancy, but not wanting to say no. It’s her turn to trip over words, but I ignore it all and bend my head to kiss her belly. Her frame is much smaller than mine and hidden under her clothing, so I try to judge landmarks from how her clothing sits on her body. Her head rolls back on her pillow and I try to kiss incrementally further south, while slowly worming my fingers under her jeans. She starts barking out orders like, “not to far up, don’t do this.” It’s impeding the mood, but I want to make her happy, so I oblige. I succeed in getting my fingers under the lip of her jeans, but she then stops me. She asks, breathlessly what I’m doing and say bluntly but irritatedly, “I’m trying to get your pants off, you know, how the romance novels all are the same?” Great. Smooth. Show off your romance arsenal that is from books. Real winner here. She just laughs instead of ridiculing me, though, and removes her belt and pants and underwear for me. I’m still fully clothed and part of me is sad that people just want me to satisfy them and never think to satisfy me, but once again I just want to make her happy. It’s all about her right now. I look down at her, my brain blurring it all from my vision, and proceed to continue my attack of her skin. I’m looking to prolong pleasure as much as possible, to tease and work it all up inside of her.

I’m working up and down her body and she’s starting to make a lot of noise and we are both suddenly well aware of how serious we’re getting into this. I jump off and run to close the door while she shuts the window and curtains. Lights go off last and we scramble back onto the bed…

…then my brain jumps to my roommate sleeping and I’m trying to eat spaghetti and green beans off the child seat of a shopping cart. It’s pretty good, even though it’s off a shopping cart. It seems I’m not afraid of getting sick. I suddenly remember my roommate and my brain is battling my consciousness to try and replay or play out this hot encounter with the naked girl in the bed to no avail. I have no idea if the deed was done or if she felt so good she just fell asleep. It IS morning now, so maybe it was done. Either way, I’m stewing in my depression, forever unsatisfied. Always the one doling and never on the receiving end. At least she looks peaceful.

Then I wake up for real because it’s so hot and my dogs are being annoying because it’s super late.

I’ve had some very interesting dream nights lately, but I pretty much forget what they are by the time I get back from dog walkies and onto my laptop. This was the tidbit before I woke up this morning.

I was working and needed to go to my next job. I’d gotten a part-time, temp or limited gig at a larger office, but the shift was right after my regular shift at work. I believe I was either referred in or presented the job opportunity by someone I loved, whether it was a friend or a relative. I park in the massive parking lot and come in. The time was 6:48pm, 12 minutes before I needed to start my shift. Since I don’t usually go into work until minutes before my shift starts, I wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t think much about it. I come in and stand aside to let the large group of departing patients pass. I make my way down the hall where an authoritative woman had children and other patients lined up in the waiting room. She was shouting instructions to them before she allowed them in the double glass doors of the office. I remember thinking, yeesh, in my brain, when right at that moment the same woman barks at me, “YOU ARE LATE!!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE EARLIER!”

I’m taken aback and quickly check the time. It’s still only 6:50pm. I’m still early. Thoughts rush through my head, like, oh, maybe they wanted to give me a run down, or maybe there is a huddle I need to attend, and was this mentioned when they offered me the position? I rush into the employee room which is very spacious and I find myself in front of the entire evening staff. It IS a meeting about the evening shift. Another authoritative woman is giving the instructions, though she seems a little nicer. I look frantically around and find that there is nowhere for me to change into the uniform. Most of the staff are in these stall-type cubicles where desks would normally be in a classroom. You can only see their heads and everyone is busy changing into their uniforms while listening to the woman. Some that have already finished are standing around the outside of the room. Even though I want to wait for a stall, 1) there are none left, 2) I didn’t want to be rude by walking in front of the woman, 3) they’re way too small anyways, I can’t see myself able to move around in them, 4) I’m LATE, and 5) I’m LAAAATE.

Oh, what the heck. Why not? So I start stripping down right there in front of everyone, clothes just come off and right when I take my bra off and everything flouncing and bouncing and chilly, the woman stops and addresses me, introducing me to the entire group. I’m not really embarrassed since we’re all healthcare professionals and even with the uncomfortably small stalls, I can see clearly everyone basically naked anyways, so I smile and wave. There are a couple of nice looking guys who think it’s humorous and gutsy, what I’m doing, but once again, I’m not really embarrassed. Plus, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here in this office, so…

Some things happen and suddenly I’m at a lab station like in science class. I haven’t left the building, though, so in the back of my mind I’m well aware that I’m still employed by this dental company. Apparently it’s my lab station for the time being. The company is having a very important visitor coming and now I’m in a competition to see who can give him the best tasting water. Someone is there helping me and tells me that the little saltwater aquarium I have on the lab counter with sand, a sea snail, a plant and some small aquatic animal really needs some TLC to make it presentable. Apparently the person before me really neglected and failed at this important task. I pour everything into a tall glass beaker and the helper sets it on over a flame, telling me to stir. Even though I’d never done anything like this before, I know exactly what to do now. The helper who turns out to be the 2nd authoritative woman, smiles and leaves, trusting me to do a great job. I can’t let her down!! I stir the sand-water mixture (after fishing out the snail, plant and fish or frog or whatever it is) until it is mostly evaporated. I just have to keep stirring and stirring and adding water. Time ticks on and soon I’m running out of time. Finally, it is ready, and not a moment too soon. I cool it and right down to the wire, pour it into a clear rectangular dish/small aquarium. I add the sand, the plant and the sea snail decides to follow. I have a hard time trying to remove the snail from the dish, but I’m out of time. As the clock counts down, I look satisfied into my entry and am very proud to see how clear the water turned out.

Confident, the 3 entries are brought to the VIP, and it turns out that my competitors are my siblings. I’m a tad worried that my brother’s turned out super clear too. The skinny man in the suit looks at them and scoops each of the clear aquariums up and downs the water. Mine first, then my brother’s and then my sister’s which he grimaces on and instantly says no. He points at both mine and my brother’s and it’s implied that the last competition will be between us. We laugh at my sister and then we leave.

I end up setting up a dental operatory, gloves and mask on, finally doing the job I was hired to do. I ask the girl in the room with me (who is the one who referred me) if we’re supposed to come early to work every day, because I didn’t know and was yelled at. She turns and looks at me with pity.

I’m watching/playing a military plane battle from 2 different camera helicopter views. The military planes are chasing a ship and they end up around an island, flying through rings of orange that lead them to their quarry that just sailed into the small opening of the island. They direct an ally ship chasing that one, as the enemy has multiple hostages now. Suddenly I’m on the ally ship, readying my rifle. We sail covertly into the narrow inlet. The enemy is standing on the moderate vessel, all on deck, surrounding their hostages who are kneeling with their hands on the back of their heads. The enemy units are preoccupied, talking to the helicopters above, so my comrades and I pick off the enemy as quickly and accurately as possible. I line up and fire a headshot, adrenaline coursing through me, immediately focusing on the next enemy and firing another headshot. The enemies fall like dominoes. I line up my last shot, working hard to distinguish enemy from hostage, while in the back of my mind worrying that the enemy was hiding amongst the hostages too, but she moves to put her hands up and rifle down. My teammates and I lower ours weapons cautiously, and stand while officials board and detain her, clearly the leader.

With the hostages safe and the enemy in custody, we return to base, dismissed. There’s a crowd of happy civilians at the base, and I happen to pass by and walk in with an old school friend of mine who was in the army and then army reserves. I’m wearing my fatigues still, and carrying my weapon. She talks to me, rather impressed, and I tell her that it was my first mission, ever, and my first kills ever. I explained I had 2 kills, both headshots, perfect kills and the successful mission. Her face falls at that, remembering something in her past, and tells me that the killing was always the worst part for her. I don’t feel anything at all, I guess still high on adrenaline or numb to the atrocity. We separate ways then, and I approach the weapon return window. The girl at the window is super nice and flirts with me a little before turning her attention to someone else. I make my way up to my quarters. It is stark in the military way and I change out of my fatigues, ready to pass out and take a nap.

I wake up a time later, still giddy with happiness and success. I’m still supposed to be sleeping, but I slowly descend the stairs. It is devoid of other academy students, I guess past curfew. I pass by the weapon depot where I turned in my gun earlier, only to see the attendant nuzzling, kissing and otherwise making out with another girl. They keep giggling and looking around like they were doing something against the rules.

I had taken my dogs with me and we were supposed to do a home visit or something. I arrive at the lady’s home which is like a trailer home. Nothing wrong with that, just a little smaller. My two are busy sniffing the dining room table and I greet the lady, who is so happy to see me. She has 2 dogs, one small one and a big one, bigger than my dogs. It seems to be a Great Dane and Greyhound mix and it annoys me that she’d have a dog bigger than my two. I let go of my dogs (presumably the three of them went to play) and focus my attention on the lady and her little dog. She’s lamenting and almost crying that she there’s something horribly wrong with her dog. She takes me into the back room where she has set up on the floor a bed of sorts made out of comforters and pillows. Obviously she spends a lot of time there. She lays down, reclining against the pillows and pulling up her blankets. I sit on the floor next to her and she shows me the problem. Her little dog (a floofy white dog, puffy like a poodle but with impossibly thick fur, like holding a dense cloud) is always falling over when it stands. I’m like, huh? So she shows me. All this time she’s been holding the dog and so she puts it down and it walks, sort of then just falls over. I’m perplexed, so I pick it up and do the same and it just falls over. It’s legs work fine, but it’s like the dog is terrified out of its mind and just gives up.

I observe the dog on the ground, in my hands, in her hands and I conclude that the dog is just terribly and horribly anxious. I set about explaining dog body language and how to read what’s going on. Its ears have been uncomfortable and scared the entire time I’ve seen it. As I’m advising her, I notice that her giant lurcher and decided to cuddle up next her under the blankets, its head on her lap and I realize why she likes to sleep on the floor. I try to fix the way she’s holding the little pup and give advice on how to prevent and lessen the anxiety. The little dog is eager to go outside, and I ask her if she walks it or lets it play outside. She says, no, because she, the human, doesn’t go out much and doesn’t want the dog to get dirty. I roll my eyes and explain that the little dog needs time to be a dog. She needs to bring it on adventure, let it sniff and roam. The dog doesn’t need to be cooped up inside and even more, it needs to be allowed and encouraged to walk on its own, not always being held everywhere. Otherwise, it will never get better and will always be stuck in this pit of anxiety induced by the woman.

I have no idea what happened to my dogs at this point, but the lady invites me to sleep with her, so I’m like, OK, and while she’s on her floor bed, I set up my own stuff a short distance away, near the computer. There’s a large hump on the ground and I’m like, what’s that? But I figure it’s just because the house is a mobile home. Then we go to sleep. OK. Weird. When we wake up, it’s time for me to leave. I notice that her husband is in the adjacent room, watching TV and is starting to find my presence unwelcome. I pack up my belongings, and find my dogs and am about to leave through the kitchen door when the lady comes down from the staircase to see me out. While confused as to how the house has stairs to the second floor as well as how she went from the other room to the upstairs without me knowing, I notice with satisfaction that she’s not coddling the dog anymore.

Then there’s this episode about walking around in a military camp of sorts. I’m with a bunch of guys, all recruits, and the officer is walking around this old looking bunker filled with desks, glass windows, metal walls and weapons. He mentions that no one needs to know we’re here and points out everything in a joking yet serious way. It seems our mission is very serious indeed, and top secret.

I was at work, but it seemed more like school. I’m paired up with another hygienist and each group has their own table. My partner was not there that day, so I was performing the task by myself. I don’t remember clearly all the details, but I’d put on my own music for my station and got to work on all the objectives. For some reason it was about dissecting or carving or something to a recently killed subject on the table. I’d done very well on my own. Gotten a good grade and proud of myself. Then it was the real test. I had a partner this time around and it was a competition with the rest of the class to see who’d come up with the best project the fastest. We got our assignments (in the vein of Chopped and other Food Network shows) and everyone ran off to gather the provided materials. My partner and I quickly sketched out what we wanted and went to gather things. I seemed to be moving slowly but surely unlike everyone else who were freaking out. I got my music player to set up some music, construction paper, glue. Then, I decided to look at the blue binder on our workstation to find out all the rules. I carefully read through it, something I don’t think anyone else did, and found the scoring guide. When my partner finally returned with materials, I told her to get started and I would go next door to the fishing pond to get the fish we’d need. It was super crowded in there and the best fishing spots taken. I threw my line in anyways and caught a stingray. Everyone looked on in awe. I put that in my pocket and then moved to another hole where 2 boys were trying to find anything. I got my line all messed up and then suddenly went down into the power plant right next door. No one had gone yet, all tied up with their fishing, so I did, thinking I’d have time once they were all done. Some of the kids followed me and went to the right. It was getting crowded at the objective zone, so I decided to go where they hadn’t gone yet. I saw loads of explosives sitting around this giant metal door. Video game logic would have me blow it up, and lo and behold, one of the items given to me was an old hand cannon. I aimed it, fired and it blew up! I aimed and fired again, and there was a hole. I rush in because the commotion had garnered the kids’ attention and I see a big hole in the ground. Deep down, I can see the girl that was on our optional objective. If I can grab her, we’d get a 200-500 point bonus! I take out my fishing pole before anyone else can and eagerly try to hook her head. The other boys are wishing I’d fail so they could snag her, but I’m successful! Woohoo! In my pocket she goes!

I’m trying to get to work, so I’m driving a strange road I don’t remember. Everyone’s driving crazy and then all of the sudden I’m walking instead. There’s an anxiety that I’m not going to make it to work on time, so I try to find the fastest way there (still very unfamiliar place to me). I see an old friend from M high school, and so I catch up to her. She’s about to go up a road that is more than certainly a shortcut–and when I say up, I mean, up. She’s moving fast, so I grab onto her back as she makes one-handed consecutive jumps up this almost vertical inclining road. Another old classmate from the same school had grabbed on to my back too. I see the frustration in my friend’s face, but she can’t stop, moving so quickly as she is. Right when we’re about to reach the last, highest grab spot, she misses. In my mind I’m like, well crap, we made her too heavy. So we’re all 3 falling down to our dooms, when my brain says, nah, and rewinds time to before we start he ascent. The road wall is now gone and by the time I’ve come to my senses, both acquaintances are long gone and I can’t follow them. The only thing left is a skeleton frame of the ridiculous ascending road, so I do the most obvious thing and try my own hand at it. My friend must have been a werewolf or vampire because just like in real life, I can’t even support my own weight on one rung let alone jump one armed up. Instead, I walk along the sidewalk to the nearby building which looks kind of like a college except it’s a huge, fancy business building with restaurants. At this point I’ve lost so much time, I pull out Google Maps on my phone and start wandering in the general direction of work. The business park is amazingly confusing and I end up going through parking garages, interior roads, factory and manufacturing places, a stark white laundry area, etc. There are people in these places and everyone stares but doesn’t say anything. I try to walk like I know what I’m doing.

Finally, I end up in a dark room with 6 other people. Somehow I know that this is where I was meant to end up, but then I disappear and start to see it all in 3rd person, like a movie. The people gathered look terrified and they should be because the villain walks in, a big, menacing man. He identifies all of them and as it turns out he’s been blackmailing and stalking all the people there for quite some time. Then he gathered them all there so he could play a grisly game with them. Two are siblings that don’t seem to like each other, and many of them seem so far gone with terror that it’s like they’re brainwashed to be his subjects. Some evil dialogue occurs and he suddenly rounds on one of the young siblings, telling her that he’s going to torture her with the help of the other men in the group and by the end she’s going to be begging for mercy. He doesn’t mean the girl he’s talking to, but her sister who seems to be the only one who’s still got her wits about her. As they start the torture session, the sane sister tries desperately to look the other way and cover her ears, but it’s impossible. She fights to muffle her own sobs and tears. I, being the ghost observer, bite my lip, and try to go see what they’re doing to the girl who seems to be enjoying this. I go in and see that the villain has cut her all over her body with a sharp knife. There is blood all over the girl’s white clothes. She is sitting on a stainless steel table with the dark clothed men all around her and the villain in front. She’s looking up at him, smiling and saying how good he is at torturing. It was extremely disturbing and–

Shopping. Lots of shopping for different items in different stores. I was in what seemed to be an L.L.Bean store and I was exclaiming over rugged types of clothing and bags. I asked a store worker some questions and was really excited about buying the fuzzy slippers for my mom. Then I was walking around Target shopping and looking for Pokémon when somehow got cast in a movie. I’m no actor and I didn’t particularly want to get cast, but there you go. The role was for one of 6 big characters and I was to wear all black (they had different colors). They told me to just “go!” and everyone else was running, so I ran too through the store as fast as I could. It was exhilarating doing a chase scene, but I didn’t know my lines and yeah… After that take, the production team huddled up and conversed amongst themselves. That left me to wander around the set a bit. They had really torn up the Target for this, with enclosed, dark areas surrounded by building plastic sheets, I guess for showdown scenes, and outdoor setups with work near the local body of water. I walked around outside taking it all in and ended up shopping again, hiding behind the big aisles shoved towards the back of the store, when I heard the director call me by name to come to the front. Uh oh. He called me by name. So I wander out to the checkout area where the production team was all set up. The director himself came up to me and said, “Look, I’m sorry, but–” I shook my head with a smile and finished for him, “You’re going to kill me off, right?” He looked guilty and sheepish, but I just shook my head again. I know I can’t act well. Heck, I don’t even know what the movie is about, let alone my role or lines! They send me over to makeup and costume to give me a darker look. I think I get like 5 minutes of screen time total, and the rest of the “killing off scene” is done by a stunt person. The one fighting me is one of the other 6, the white girl. I guess it’s fitting, white vs. black, good vs. evil. I’m a bit jealous that the other girl can act and fight so well. Ah well.

I’m chilling in my apartment in a higher learning institution after “witnessing” a different dream clip (dealing with 3 guys who were gifted with a different set of girls every day, starting with hot girls and then to other body shapes. All erotic. Finally the last part were 5 heavy set, topless girls with black hair, and one of the guys exclaiming because one of the girls was actually a trans girl). I get up and wander around outside for some green therapy. There I run into a thin and tall severe looking girl (young woman, like my age, so not really a girl, but yeah) wearing a white dress and carrying some library books. She’s mumbling and fuming to herself, clearly about a relationship of some sort. She’s wearing a large ring on her hand it seems that it belongs to her SO or given by her SO. Then a look of determination and rage fills her face and off she goes. I just shrug and return home to take a nap before going to work. I get up, still sleepy, and wander over to my neighbor next door who is also getting up from a nap. Turns out it’s my friend/acquaintance from my grade school years, the one who got sexual reassignment surgery. He’s chilling on his bed too, and I’m still groggy, so I come over, look down on him, smile and completely out of character for me, take his hand and kiss it. He is taken by surprise, but smiles playfully although bemused. I don’t even know why I just did that either, though the kiss isn’t passionate at all. I go to leave for work and he calls out after me, “so is that for fun or do you love me?” I don’t answer and just leave. The unspoken words denoting the gesture as chaste.

I come back after work and hang out in his room again. He’s on the computer doing grad school work and I take a seat right next to him. It’s just a friendly, normal, neighborly, social visit which apparently I do a lot because neither of us find it strange. Suddenly, through the open door, comes severe girl, this time carrying bags of candy. She storms in and throws the large ring at my friend. No words are spoken but his face contorts in rage too. She throws the packets of candy down, he throws packets of candy at her and she leaves. Obviously their engagement/relationship is over. With her gone, his fury subsides and turns into raw anguish instead. My heart goes out and I know I need to comfort him, but I’m afraid of insinuating something I don’t mean to. The grief is so powerful, I have to be a good friend. I go from behind and slowly hug around his torso, because hugs are the best. It seems to work well, so I come around the side and give a big bear hug again. The tears stop, and he asks, “What’s the trick, how can I graduate as soon as possible?” I smile ruefully, and say, “I couldn’t have a relationship because I had to focus on school and nothing else at all. Relationships are…you know…” He nods and I see determination to finish school mix in with the grief.

I head into my super busy doctor’s office (unfamiliar) and go to sign in. While realizing that I’m about an hour and a half early, I notice that my old friend has an appointment later! I’m stoked to see her again as it has been years, so I go settle myself down in a chair. I happen to sit next to a couple who I think recognize me, but I don’t acknowledge them, pulling out my phone, a portable keyboard and some headphones. I want to plug in the headphones and play with the keyboard but I fail and end up playing aloud for about 10 minutes before I realize my mistake. The couple beside me aren’t mad, just humored. Another guy sits down on my other side after a while, but I’m trying to mind my own business with my keyboard and phone. When I finally look up, I’m surprised to see that it’s another old friend I haven’t seen in forever! He seems much older, has stubble, extremely tanned, and is also inches from my face. It doesn’t bother me though, and we exclaim at each other. I told him that our friend is coming too and I start scanning the waiting the room. It’s super busy like a hospital when I spot her. She’s just like how she was when I last saw her, except that I know all the history in between. I pop up to go visit her and to my disappointment she’s, as usual, surrounded by her friends. She excitedly says hi to me, but I’m not going to get an audience with her it seems. I tell her that her friend Megan is around too and point her out. My old friend hops up to go over there and then it’s suddenly my turn for an appointment.

I guess since I’d been waiting for so long, they let me back first, but the girl said my name so softly (or we were just too loud) I didn’t hear it at first. I go back and she takes my weight which for some reason is 133 pounds. Dude. I haven’t been that weight in YEARS, so I’m a little worried about having lost so much weight. She then proceeds to say a few things that rubs me the wrong way and I decide that she’s not a very nice medical assistant. In the room is another medical assistant and they argue with each other for a while.

Suddenly there are 7 other people in the room and Dr. H (a specialist) appears. I hadn’t realized I was going to be seeing him! He gathers everyone into the open side of the room and turn on some music. Looks like we’re doing some team building exercises now! We all start pairing off and dancing with each other to the music. I chose a girl because the male to female ratio is off. It’s all fun and we stop, standing in a line. Josh Groban’s version of “All I Ask of You” comes on and I start singing along with it. People start giving me funny looks and I realize that I’m singing the male and female parts. I don’t care, though, because I love that song. Then I grab one of the guys and dance with him. The next song is another of my favorites, Rascal Flatts “From Time to Time” which no one else knows except me. I grab another guy to dance with and try to sing it, but it just seems to come out offkey. I don’t seem to mind, I’m having too much fun!