What, you didn’t see this coming? While the global economy is suffering, Vertu keeps on launching their high-end mobile phones to the world’s richest customers. While they used to be featureless handsets, they’ve now become current, and what used to be expensive, is still… expensive. Let’s look at the brand new Vertu Signature we just got in our office. It’s the stainless steel model, and is made of sapphire crystal, fine leather, and of course, stainless steel. Its got 3G (only the 850MHz and 2100MHz WCDMA band), Wi-Fi, and an OLED display. Definitely some things that keep these devices in play, tech-wise at least. Since Vertu is an off-shoot of Nokia, all up-to-date Vertus run a customized version of the Series 40 OS (we have heard Vertu is working on a PDA, but nothing has materialized yet). Still, at a retail price of $12,500, who’s going to buy this? The old answer used to be someone who can appreciate the finer things in life, just as someone would spend $80,000 on a watch, they’d have no problem dropping $12,000 on a phone. Right? Well, times have changed. This isn’t 2004 when people were rockin’ RAZRs as the new hot thing and had a pretty limited selection of smartphones. If you think about it the world is pretty topsy turvy. There’s BlackBerrys with cameras, Apple makes a cell phone, HTC makes Android devices, and Sony Ericsson makes a Windows Mobile phone. So where is the market for this Signature? We’d say its smaller than ever thanks to the popularity of smartphones that actually work and then obviously the economy. There’s no doubt this is Vertu’s finest model, it sure as heck feels like it. We’re just not so sure people are that interested in this day and age. Unless we’re talking about that Vertu Ascent Ti Ferrari Nero, then well, that’s another story…

Vertu’s new Signature S handset gets priced and does not disappoint. Starting at £7,540 ($14,000), the base model has a stainless steel finish, a yellow gold version is priced at £18,000 ($32,000) and the premium white gold version will set you back a mere £24,000 ($42,600). This new luxury handset features a patented keypad containing solid ruby bearings and comes with ringtones and alerts taken from a specially composed piece performed by the London Symphony Orchestra. All of this decadence on top of 850MHz/2100MHz 3G support, Wi-Fi, an OLED display, and a slide-out SIM card tray. If you even have to think about which couch cushion to pillage to order this beauty, don’t bother. You cant afford it.

Never one to turn down a Vertu, we’ve just came across Vertu’s latest handset in all its FCC glory. For starters, it has 850MHz/2100MHz 3G support, Wi-Fi, and probably the craziest futuristic design we’ve ever seen. Many Vertu lovers across the globe loved their original Signatures but they were quick to be completely outdated in terms of technology, thus they were “forced” to switch to the Constellation (small and smooth) or the Ascent Ti (huge and feature-packed). Well, no more Vertu friends, no more. In addition to the aforementioned specs, you’ve also got an OLED screen to look forward to, a slide-out SIM card tray, and the love-it-or-hate-it Vertu Concierge (read: use American Express Centurion Concierge instead). When you’re done drooling over it, go lift up that plastic couch cover your grandma uses, scrape those pennies together, and run, not walk, to your local Nokia or Torneau. We’ll see you there.