Giant Sinkhole Opens Up In Center Of Futon

Nov 9, 2016

A huge sinkhole has emerged within the middle region of a futon yesterday causing widespread frustration.

There were suspicions of a slanting of both sides of the futon and a weakening of its general structure in the months leading up to the collapse, which lead to a secondary cheaper mattress being purchased and placed underneath the futon – a procedure known as double stacking.

“I thought a secondary mattress would reinforce the structural integrity of my futon but I could still sense a weak point in the general area of my hip,” said the futon owner.

A third mattress was placed under the stack last week but again this seemed to just extend the weakness of the core another four inches above the surface of the ground.

Experts say the hole was caused by a lack of “turning the futon upside down” and a refusal to “put it outside in the sun and beat the shit out of it”.

“When you have a futon stressed beyond its strength limit leading a triple stack charge it’s only a matter of time before a colossal life-threatening sinkhole will begin to appear.”