Second – you’ll need some toys. Babies love toys; I don’t care who you are or who your baby is—I bet they love playing with toys! Kids need distractions when you’re on the road, so if you give them something to occupy their hands and mouths with, it can be a big help. It doesn’t take much, really… Emerson would most definitely be fine with something as simple as a water bottle for an extended period of time. The point is, just bring some damn toys, and a variation of them so that your kid doesn’t get bored too fast. Pack the whole darn toy chest if you need to, okay?

Third – bring some muh funkin’ snacks, okay! The best way to ensure a meltdown is if you don’t feed the little beast when it’s hungry. Take Emerson for example; she is usually fine-and-dandy throughout the day and the only real times she acts up (especially in the car) are when she’s hungry! And when she’s hungry we better hurry and get her something quick because kids don’t understand why there’s a lag time between the second they get hungry and the time food actually arrives in their mouths and bellies. They need immediate sustenance otherwise the world is going to end and you’re about to be driven absolutely crazy because nothing will calm them down other than the giving of food! They’re crazy. ATTENTION: I do not mean that you should give your child a snack while they’re in their car seat or still in the car. We do NOT do this. Not only would it be a huge mess (Emmy is a messy disaster eater sometimes), but it can also be really dangerous for ya kid. So pull over and find somewhere to give them their snack or meal; trust me, you’ll be much happier that way.

Fourth – just bring your patience. If you’re patient, cool, calm, and collected… things are going to go much smoother than if you’re losing your mind. It takes a lot of self-soothing and telling yourself to breathe when it comes to dealing with a tiny child screaming in the back seat. But if you do manage to stay the stoic, hero parent that I know you can be, I’m telling you, you will be fine.

Road trips are hard in the first place. Extra hard when you have to deal with a baby, but if you love that baby like a short dude loves an F-250—every little thing is gonna be alright.