Tuesday, June 15, 2010

First things first: a bet is a bet. You order M. BISON to drop off the five VARIOUS MONIES that you wagered to the NONOPTIC CANDAEMON. Hopefully it'll go towards his MEDICAL BILL. Even more hopefully, maybe he has INSURANCE. Your BISON is pleased with your decision to fulfill your end of your WAGER. +1 PET SATISFACTION!

While M. BISON nibbles on the WALKIE-TALKIE, you pick up the SABER and HORNS. You think you might just be able to make use of them...

(ANGLERFISH 1: Wake up.)

(The ANGLERFISH wakes up. He just had the weirdest thing happen to him. Minor heart attack or something. He decides to watch his HEART HEALTH. He'll flip over in a moment... just... give him a minute.)

You combine the HORNS with LIEUTENANT M. BISON to create LIEUTENANT M. BISON WITH DEMON HORNS. He is now a fully armed and operational BATTLE BISON! He is very pleased with this upgrade and hopes it will help him serve you better.

You also utilize your seven SCREWS (with your SCREWDRIVER) to combine the SABER and your HAIRDRYER to create a new weapon--- THE STYLIZER. This is a fashion accessory to murder. It blows hot air, cold air, and dead air, with a two foot long attachment great for dealing with tough hair tangles or Gordian knots. THE STYLIZER: Slice with style.

(ANGLERFISH 2: Look around.)

(The ANGLERFISH has a vague memory of something scaring him, so he looks around. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe something about a... DUCK? At this depth? No DUCK could survive the pressure. Surely it was just his imagination... surely....)

You scoop up the WALKIE TALKIE and listen to it. Someone is demanding to know if everything is under control where you are. They sound very official. You decide to GUILE ATTACK the problem head on.

JILL: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.

RADIO: What happened?

JILL: Uh, I had a slight... weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

RADIO: We're sending a squad up.

JILL: Uh, uh... negative, negative. We had a person come out of the room over there, give us a few minutes to... finish eating them. Large guy, very dangerous.

RADIO: Who is this? What's your Candaemon operating number?

JILL: Uh...

You turn off the WALKIE TALKIE.

JILL: Boring conversation anyway.

You decide to continue WEST. You wonder what the next room will hold....

(ANGLERFISH 3: Go west.)

(The ANGLERFISH decides to go about his business, luring in fish with his ILLICIUM. He decides to focus on food which won't be so bad on his system. He's too young to die. He has a family and a wife that loves him. Man, he better hurry or he'll miss JUNIOR'S little league game. Plus, ANGLERFISH knows that he's only two weeks from retirement from his job with the ANGLERFISH POLICE FORCE. Two weeks. He's almost there.)