Fifty Shades of Like

In a world that seeks shortcuts, wouldn’t it be nice to succeed the old-fashioned, long-way-around way? The sweetest achievements require time and effort. Getting to a new, better place involves introspection, perhaps some self-denial, almost always a challenge or two.

The shortcut way is to figure out how to circumvent both the physical obstacles and the need for personal growth.

I want the feeling of having personally grown into this improved state of being, but can’t I get there without spending all that time? Or doing all that self-examination crap?

Love, the emotional place, appears to be a destination to which most people aspire. It is as if a magical state of mind involving you and your dreamboat is available, and all you need do is discover a few points of mutual connection, plus some sex. That’s love. From a handful of shared moments we conjur a lasting, solid, astral plane of happy attachment and forever harmony. Shortcut your way to that, and you’ve got it made.

Well, fine, if you think that works. Is it not possible that the real thing cannot ever be found without first starting at the beginning, and working your way towards love? A good start might be to abandon the word that we use so flippantly. Let’s begin with like, or admire; find interesting or enjoy the company of; learn from, or take comfort from. The range of ways to interact is so much more subtle than the binary love/don’t love.