Some years back I started participating in Q&A forums. These are internet forums specifically set up to post and answer specific questions, as opposed message boards or chat rooms set up for full interactive discussion and dialog. I used to post to Answerology, but now a days I stick to Yahoo Answers. I've been answering a number of questions there regarding Satanism.

Before I get into that, here's a little background info about this site. Ideally, this is how they're supposed to work:

1) Somebody posts a question. 2) Other people read the question and, each post their individual answer to that question. The answers show up under the particular question being answered.3) Readers can give individual answers a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" rating.4) In the end, a "Best Answer" is chosen from the lot personally by the person who posted the question. If he or she doesn't chose one, it's left up to anonymous voting.

You lose a few points when you post a question. You gain a few points when you answer a question or vote on existing answers. The more points you get, the more you can reach levels that allow you to post more questions in one day, or allow you to post more answers in one day, etc.

It's understandable why these sorts of sites are popular. There are people who are too stupid or lazy to use a search engine to find the answers they want, and expect another human to tell them. And people who fancy themselves experts on a subject get an ego boost from giving their advice to people.

I originally went to Yahoo Answers to just answer questions in the mathematics section, mainly to brush up on my teaching skills (I've been considering doing some teaching or tutoring on the side). I'm proud to say that I'm among the top 10 ranked answerers there.

But for amusement, I also like to go to the "religion & spirituality" section. Now I've been on all sorts of multi-faith forums over the years because I do sincerely like religion as a topic. I've always been fascinated by it from a sociological and cultural point of view. I can answer questions about numerous world religions. But while religious people tend to be dumb-witted in general, this particular forum is simply the bottom of the barrel. It makes The View look like an Oxford University lecture.

As you can probably imagine, more people use sites like Yahoo Answers not for knowledge, but for a bogus sense of support. They'll post a loaded, rhetorical question. Then "Best Answer" simply goes out to "Who agrees with me the most". This is especially true when it comes to the section for questions on politics, and the section for religion/spirituality questions.

Still, the Satanism questions come up. And I answer them when I see them, as do the so many Jesus freaks and teenagers who get all of their Satanism information from church propaganda and tacky horror movies. But I've been happily surprised to see lots of non-Satanists there even correctly saying "No, Satanism is NOT about devil worship or sacrificing babies, it's about...[etc.]".

On the rare occasion that a question seems sincere, I'll answer politely. But if a question is completely loaded and posted by a total moron, I don't hold back on the insults.

Here's a more recent example of a question and my answer, all spelling mistakes unaltered:

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What lies does the satanic bible say?

this [question] is only for the ex santics [sic] who came to know christ

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None that I know of. It's a book that describes a non-theistic, carnal-based philosophy that utilizes esoteric symbolism and ritual for psychological purposes, written in plain modern English.

Unlike some other "Bibles" I could mention, it's not a re-re-re-re-translation of after-the-fact oral traditions, doesn't claim to be handed down from a supernatural being, doesn't make natural instincts out to be irrationally shameful things, and doesn't make any bogus historical claims about things like the formation of the earth or where languages come from.

It's not for everybody, but for those of us who see our personalities reflected in the philosophy, it has become a very significant book.

And "santics" isn't a word. For that matter, "Satanic" is an adjective, not a noun. After you get off daddy's computer, go grab a dictionary.

I've written up Satanism posts on other general sites, and I figure, it may all just be dust in the wind, but on the other hand, you never know who you might've just educated. Provided you have the energy and the information, it never hurts to step in and write a quick, clear, courteous, and above all, accurate post.

_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

Here's another common example. I've noticed that the more of these I answer, the more I have prepared lines ready for the predictable questions and claims that come up.

The question (or rather, 5 of them):

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Exactly what is Satanism????What is it?? Whats the difference between a freemason and a satanist? Any famous satanists?? What do they believe??

My response to the questions and some of the bogus answers other people were giving:

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Freemasonry is a lodge, not a religion. They are no more "Satanic" than a college fraternity, the Elks Club, Knights of Columbus, or the American Legion. You can go look up a local Freemason chapter in the Yellow Pages, walk into the building, and ask more about them.

As for Satanism, well there are a number of different practices that the media and Christian zealots label with that term. But as for an actual organized religion called "Satanism" with practitioners that actually identify THEMSELVES as "Satanists", that didn't exist until the formation of the Church of Satan in the 1960s by Anton Szandor LaVey, who later wrote out the principles of the religion in "The Satanic Bible". Some people claim otherwise, but I have yet to see any historical evidence for their claims.

The Church of Satan has certainly had a few famous members: Sammy Davis Jr., Marilyn Manson, Jane Mansfield, etc. There are other famous celebrities and politicians who are Satanists, but they keep their affiliation a secret, knowing that it would be career suicide to be out-of-the-closet about it.

As far as beliefs go, Satanism is a religion of the flesh, rather than the spirit. It's a strictly non-theistic philosophy that embraces concepts such as self-importance, self-responsibility, critical thinking, justice, humor, indulgence, and host of other things that other religions have traditionally branded as "evil". We use Satan as a symbol and convenient archetype for those values.

As you can see from some of the other responses here, a lot of idiots claim to know what Satanism is without doing even a minimal amount of research on the subject first. They largely get their false information from tacky horror movies and sensationalist talk show hosts.

"Theistic Satanism" is an oxymoron. Satanism is non-theistic; we believe the whole notion of deities is an invention of the human mind. There's already a name for people who believe in an actual Devil and worship him: they're called "devil worshipers".

Some people are mentioning Aleister Crowley and Charles Manson. Neither of them ever claimed to be Satanists, and no educated person that I know of considers them to be Satanists either. Crowley established a completely different religion called Themela, and Charles Manson was just a criminally insane cult leader.

Whenever a Google search lists a result from Yahoo! Answers, I check it out, if only for the amusement of reading the poorly-written questions and answers. Of course, the same errors can lead one to despair over the state of our language. Call it "writter's disgust."

It's almost incomprehensible just how simple some of the questions are, as well as how irrelevant some of the "answers" are.

Reverend, your contributions are oases in a -- what's drier than a desert?

I agree with TrojZyr's comment about the potential for educating the right people in such an intellectually barren environment. If you didn't answer these questions, someone else, almost definitely less qualified, would.

The only point missing from your answers, in my opinion, is that santics are born, not made!

“When Satan offers the brimming cup of life and happiness, in all this world of fasting mankind, is there one being of sanity strong enough, where sanity is so rare, to receive all this without giddiness, without intoxication, without a risk of losing self control?” -Jules Michelet

My husband has similar patience with people, and has been able to compile books from old message board posts. It may be worth your while to archive your posts and arrange them in a similar fashion. I know that I, and probably many other Satanists, would certainly buy your works in hard copy.

I still think you are one of the most entertaining writers on this message board. I still laugh when I think about a remark you posted about "bad tasting candy" YEARS ago.

It may be worth your while to archive your posts and arrange them in a similar fashion. I know that I, and probably many other Satanists, would certainly buy your works in hard copy.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind! I'm sure I'll put out a book of essays one of these days. I've published a bunch in zines over the years (Not Like Most, The Trident, Ninth Gate, etc.) that are long out of print.

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I still think you are one of the most entertaining writers on this message board. I still laugh when I think about a remark you posted about "bad tasting candy" YEARS ago.