Rifftrax? Please. When I was your age, we had Mystery Science Theater 3000 and we LOVED IT.

See, we didn't have that here. I mean we WOULD, maybe, its latest seasons, unsure when it did even start; but I didn't even know English back then, yet noone could even DARE to attempt subtitling/dubbing all episodes in my language because every episode is at least 2 hours long.

Now I'm trying to getting used to MTS3K by watching it on Youtube or whatever, and yes the riffing is very nice, but the movies are so painful and boring I can't even bear to wait for another witty line to come. It might also be the internet factor, you know, I now have a really large content under my hands and if I want to laugh, I can find my entertainment that takes a shorter amount of time. But then, it was on TV and it's the TV factor; most channels show shit. When there was a good show you instantly love it and watch it, unless the show was set in the same time block with another show in another channel you like better.

The visuals are good, (plays with 3D a bit, but doesn't turn it into a gimmick), the story is pretty unique.

I don't really have the time for a proper review, but I'll give it a solid 8.
(Its quite rare for a movie these days to actually make me care about a character, but I'll happily admit that I feel for Megamind)

Given the film you just rated, I'd put far more weight in your 8.5 than most peoples' 9s and 10s. =P

Anyway.

Juno - 2/10

This movie is really bad. The cinematography is like a really cheap daytime soap opera. The film is trying WAY too hard to be indie. When this fits your film damn near 1:1, it's hard to argue in its favor. And this USA Television Extended Edition only serves to make it worse by inserting more scenes that were cut for very good reasons, among the flaws being not contributing a damn thing and being shot even worse than the rest of the film, like the cameraman was drunk that day.

The story and characterisation kind of made me go ':/' on several occasions. The concept itself seemed a little forced - why owls? I haven't read the books, and maybe they pull it off better than the film, but the substance of most of the story and characters was lacking.

That being said, everything looked bloody amazing. The flying scenes left me in a state of glee, the feathers, the reflections in the owl eyes... even very small parts of the visuals just struck me dumb.

So yeah, here's hoping we can marry awesome visuals with awesome story next time.

I know everyone's addressed it, but I'll throw in my two cents worth about Tron:Legacy since I saw it today with my sister and her boyfriend.

I went into this thing expecting to be disappointed, the backlash against this film in nerd culture has been huge, particularly from those that know and love the original film. Add that to the fact that I'm judgmentally biased against sequels off the bat as I view them to be nothing more than attempts at money mongering by the terminally unimaginative, you had an equation for failure right out of the gate.

However, I only came out of the theatre with a few nitpicky problems (the dinner in the Grid, Jeff Bridges' plasticine uncanny valley young CGI face, the breaking of continuity in regards to the whole 'only certain vehicles can travel over the train outside of the Grid', etc.). It wasn't bad, certainly not as bad as some other sequels I can think of that I watched in the past few weeks in an impressive display of media masochism (Highlander: The Source, Starship Troopers 2, AVP, Bloodrayne: Deliverance, and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest are the only ones I can remember because I'm pretty sure I had an embolism at that point). The point is, if anyone knows bad movies, it's probably me and this wasn't one. Was it a good film? Not really, but it certainly doesn't deserve the backlash it's getting.

Maybe this comes from the fact that I don't really have the nostalgia goggle effect with Tron. The movies I grew up with: Kaiju films (mainly the Godzilla franchise), Back To The Future, the original Star Wars trilogy, the TOS Star Trek Movies, The first two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies, 90s disney films and fantasy films (Like Labyrinth or Legend); which I love deeply and abidingly, even as I found others such as Bladerunner,Tron and Star Trek: First Contact, are all profoundly silly. I know that, and while I love them, I'm willing to mock them, and in fact enjoy doing so. Tron: Legacy, while having a number of discontinuities with the previous movie and within itself, is ultimately harmless and fairly entertaining. My sister, who has never seen the original Tron loved it, and expressed interest in seeing the original. So, if it gets my little sister, one who has despised everything 80s since she was about 13 to want to watch 80s movies with me, Tron: Legacy is good in my book.

Plus it had a rockin' soundtrack by Daft Punk, who I've adored since Discovery hit shelves. That's an automatic win in some category.

I'm a sucker for Don Knotts, and I'm a sucker for Tim Conway, but I'm an even bigger sucker for Don Knotts and Tim Conway together. I'm an even bigger sucker for Harvey Korman and Tim Conway together but that has nothing to do with this. I'll even sit through the Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again for these two. Their movies are just a guilty pleasure for me. I actually like this one more than the Apple Dumpling Gang series. I'm also a huge sucker for horror-mystery-comedies. The villain in this film is offing people off in horrible ways and leaving notes behind taunting the two bumbling detectives on the case- oh and the villain looks like Ghostface. You could honestly call this movie Knotts and Conway Meet Ghostface. The gags are simple but made hilarious by these two masters and their comedic timing, with the movie a bit of a mix between Clue and The Pink Panther. The only problem I have with this one is the opening credits, which rip off The Pink Panther with an animated sequence that often fails to be funny, which is weird because the rest of the film is funny. However, I can't laugh at a cartoon sequence where someone plants a bomb, then the heroes light the bomb thinking it is a candle, and stare at it for what seems like ten full seconds with blank expressions. A person with brain damage would have at least stopped staring at the damn bomb before it went off. No matter how many times you do it, animating a villain blowing up the heroes with bombs isn't funny, especially not when its that one gag repeated over and over. Other than that sucky cartoon in the credits, which can be skipped over, this movie is seriously worth a look. It's a really fun time with a couple of genuinely creepy moments.

8/11

Holy crapping crap crapping crap. This movie. Dagon can go piss on itself. This is how you make a Lovecraft movie. This movie is badass. This movie made me jump by opening a door. This ranks right next to In the Mouth of Madness and Call of Cthulhu for me as one of the best Cthulhu Mythos films I have ever seen in my life. It brings the Mythos both to modern times and Victorian era times and does both masterfully. The music is excellent. The CGI and special effects are excellent, but not overblown or overused. I'm pretty sure a lot of practical effects were used as well. The Gothic lighting and atmosphere is fantastic. This is a slow burner Gothic horror film like the brilliant ones of old that I miss so dearly. It often has twinges of Hammer horror, Alone in the Dark (the game), Scratches, and stories of that sort. Some of it can seem outdated at times, but its not afraid to be more like the classic horror films we all love. The manor that the movie surrounds is ripped straight from the first Alone in the Dark video game. I saw the camera shake a bit in one scene, but it was barely noticeable. Most of the actors are awesome, especially Mr. Valdemar and Mr. Crowley, who I thought were standouts. The actor who plays Mr. Crowley, the Lovecraft wizard of sorts in the film, plays such a charismatic villain. He's devilishly sweet but plays a slight hint of horrid malice underneath it all with panache. I half expected him to spout two curly mustaches on his upper lip from nowhere. That's not a spoiler; there is no doubt the man is a villain as soon as you see him. It's like trying to be surprised when Ben Kingsley tries to kill you. Bald people with hollow voices equal bad news in Lovecraft's world. However, a couple of the actors in the modern era setting are hokey enough to bug the shit out of me. Specifically, 'Laurel and Hardy'. No, Laurel and Hardy are not in the film, but if you watch the film, you'll know what I mean. The writing is excellent for the most part as well. This is Lovecraft done right and I will not excuse any Lovecraft fan who passes this film up. I was genuinely creeped out by this film more than once. I hate that it shows the monsters somewhat but in a way I feel that that suits this film rather well, and the effects are, as I said, not overblown but are so well done. They show just the right amount without going too far. My only other complaint with the film is that

it ends on a very Lovecraftian cliffhanger and continues in a sequel that doesn't come out until later this month.

It was good for it's time, it had funny moments and a story to follow.
But it's not a movie I will see again, it had many face palm moments and I am not really fond of musicals.
But I don't think it deserves to be at the very low end of the ratings I have really mixed feelings about it.

I just watched it so I know what most things on the internet is referring to now a days.

The idea of a modernized Judeo-Christian prophet in a post-apocalyptic world is by no means a bad one. Giving western mythology the movie treatment is not a bad idea, as there is some crazy and fantastic shit in there ripe for adaptation. The problem is that this story comes off as uninspired, preachy, and overall very hard to believe. I find the villain's attempts to utilize the King James Bible as a means to control people to be...somewhat suspect from a logical perspective. He knows how religion and spirituality have been used to control the masses for ages, why would THIS particular book(one that is, by the way, HATED for starting the war in the first place) be necessary to pull off the ruse? Generally, when people utilize religious teachings as part of their propaganda, it's at least rooted in something the people already believe in.

Still, the film is not a complete loss. There is some nice stylized cinematography, the sets are gorgeously destroyed, and there is the skeleton of a good movie in here. It's just never realized.

Igor

As far as childrens' movies go, I gotta give this one some props. They keep the cliche'd bullshit to a minimum(not completely, but they keep its screentime mercifuly short), and it introduces a really fun and stylized little world of evil geniuses. And as far as annoying sidekicks go? I gotta give this film props for a suicidal immortal with existential quandaries. The animal sidekick is far less annoying when he's cynical, jaded, and wants desperately to die. I enjoyed it for what it was, though it's not going to change anyone's world.

Weird little indie thriller that would have benefited from being 20 minutes shorter. It's not that it was long, just that the last 20 minutes were an unbelievably stupid end to a more or less solid (if not great) story. Didn't help that I hated all three characters and that it relies on having no knowledge of how the internet works.

Cold Storage - 7/10

Direct-to-DVD horror flick that really wasn't all that terrible. It's certainly not original, and in more capable hands, it could have been profoundly sad and disturbing, but as it is, it's darkly funny and interesting enough to keep you watching. But like "Four Boxes", I'll stop short of calling it "good".

So since my husband is so addicted to playing Xbox I decided to make use of his Xbox live account get Netflix on it...so I chose a movie to watch "instantly" called Humboldt County because I tend to enjoy the Independent films more than the major motion pictures.

Overall I thought it was awesome..it was basically about a straight arrow guy who follows a pretty girl to a pot farm out in the boonies and over the summer learns a lot about himself and experience quite a bit of loss to. It was pretty deep but very funny too and if you don't mind continuous pot smoking then you may enjoy it

Young Sherlock Holmes - 8/11 - A great adventure/mystery movie. Better than but similar to the Downey Jr. take. Yes I know of the similarities to Temple of Doom. They're small at best.

6 Guns - 0/11 - Piece of shit. Look this up just so you can know the company that made this, then if you ever see one of their films take it off the rack, put it on the ground, pull down your pants, and take a big shit on it.

The Billion Dollar Hobo - 3/11 - I'll watch almost anything with Tim Conway, but this is boring as hell. The music is the best part.

The Quest - 5/11 - A ridiculous Jean-Claude Van Damme action movie. The tournament is the only good part. And Roger Moore.

Defendor - 8/11 - What Kick-Ass should have been if it was worth a shit. Woody Harrelson is starting to grow on me as an actor, with this and Zombieland both being great cult material.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - 8/11 - Love it. Don't need to say anymore; most people have seen this.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - 9/11 - One of those guilty pleasure movies. I enjoy the character of Austin, but not everyone would.

Almost Heroes - 6/11 - A definite guilty pleasure movie that a lot of people probably don't like. A lot of the jokes fall flat on their face, yet somehow I laugh at this movie every time.

McHale's Navy - 9/11 - This is a movie everyone hates, always rates low, always bashes, and I feel like I'm totally alone in loving. I actually like Tom Arnold. Maybe that's the first difference between me and most people. I also adore Tim Curry in this. He's hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Bruce Campbell is in this too, so honestly...what do people hate about this film? It's silly as hell, but I'll take it at that. Maybe people just hate navy comedies nowadays, but I like them a lot. I also liked Down Periscope. Sue me.

Yeah, Shutter Island was a very good creepy movie, 8.5-9/10. Scorsese made quite some good to very good movies: The Departed, Aviator, Casino, Gangs of New York, Good Fellas, Taxi Driver, The Color of the money.

I thought it was okay. This shows that the critics have lost their touch.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. When Tron was released, it got mixed reviews, being praised and criticized for... pretty much the exact same things Tron: Legacy is being praised and criticized for.

@DoctorCello
That's not quite right. I as well as many others went into TRON for several times because it was so awesome. Tron Legacy lacks on several levels compared to the original and wasn't able to gave us the same feeling nor have i seen youngsters beeing excited about the movie the way we once were. Maybe things work different in Mormonland.

Oh and as for new movies, i've finally seen Dick's A Scanner Darkly. After some warming up, i found the visuals interesting and pleasing but also stressful, 8/10.

I was in the mood for some bad direct-to-DVD horror... I guess I should be careful what I wish for, because "bad" doesn't even begin to describe these two films.

Terror Toons - 1/10
You know a movie's bad when you're facepalming before it even starts. Right off the bat, you're greeted with a guy standing in front of a cheap video camera and speaking in a hilariously awful "menacing" voice about the "nightmare world" you're about to enter.

Dude, you're introing a movie with a giant ape man called "Max Assassin". That's not a nightmare world for anybody but the people who probably now regret using their real names in the credits.

Anywho, once that schlemiel finally stops yapping, the feature presentation begins. I've got to give them credit here: they cold-open into a sequence that basically throws the entire bag of tricks at you right away. A cartoon world mad scientist (a guy in a rubber mask with googly eyes... no joke) tortures and kills a little kid (played by a 20-something man... again, no joke) in wacky cartoonish ways. So within five minutes, you've got the gist of what's going to go down for the rest of the movie, and you can safely throw the DVD in the trash and get on with your life. Sadly, I have no life to get on with, so I kept watching.

I'm tempted to outline the cinematic atrocities scene by scene here, but I'm not that cruel. So here's the quick rundown: An 8 year old girl played by a 30 year old porn star (!) receives a mysterious DVD in the mail called "Terror Toons" (just like the movie we're watching! Hyuk hyuk!) which was created by Satan to kill people and make the world's children into sinners and abuse MS Paint and photo morphing software and green screens and clip art. (Seriously, there are no words to describe the eyerape that is "Terror Toons")

So some 20-30 year old "teenagers" have a house party while the kid watches the DVD in her room. One thing leads to another, and the mad scientist and his ape pal come out of the TV and start slaughtering everybody in extremely graphic yet childish ways. An incoherent mess of a plot starts forming near the end, but is cut abrupt by further insanity.

That's it. That's really all there is. Clip art, obnoxious sound effects, rubber masks, admittedly interesting kills that hearken back to H. G. Lewis, and the stiffest acting in history. Did I mention clip art?

Terror Toons 2: The Sick and Silly Show - 0/10
Ever the masochist, I immediately chased Terror Toons with it's sequel. "Maybe they learned from their mistakes", I foolishly thought. HA! Everything bad about the first movie returns here, except much, much worse. Same exact plot, different setting. This time it's Hansel and Gretel instead of Doctor and Ape, a much larger body count, Damien instead of Satan, and MORE CLIP ART.

The acting is marginally better, but only in the way that Miley Cyrus is marginally better than Justin Bieber. It's still pure shit. And I do admit to chuckling at the musical chairs scene and Damien's plans for the "ultimate monster". Any improvements made were immediately nullified by everything else, though.

*My apologies for the length, but I find it impossible to review these movies without at least trying to convey the utter mess they consist of.

@DoctorCello
That's not quite right. I as well as many others went into TRON for several times because it was so awesome. Tron Legacy lacks on several levels compared to the original and wasn't able to gave us the same feeling nor have i seen youngsters beeing excited about the movie the way we once were. Maybe things work different in Mormonland.

I was talking about critics specifically, not the moviegoing audience in general. HUGE difference there. And I've seen and talked to a LOT of people who absolutely loved the film, and not just in Mormonland. Maybe things work differently in, uh, Taumelland. :P

Just thought I'd throw that out there. And before you point out the 2009 date on it on IMDB, Defendor came out in the USA in 2010. And yes, my rating on True Grit was higher than my rating on Defendor and Valdemar before, but since I've seen True Grit I've mentally lowered my rating on it somewhat.

'District 9' - 97% - few movies are this good, I thought it was brilliant. It was exciting, it was intriguing, it was interesting, compelling, intelligent, enjoyable, I actually cared about the characters. The storyline and the concept were great; it just did everything right. It wasn't just another generic, dumb Hollywood flick. It blows most sci-fi films I've seen out of the water. It's just good; it's a good movie that I have very few complaints about. I usually only rent films, but I might actually buy this one.

'How to Train Your Dragon' - 95% - I've actually seen this one three times now, most recently last night. It's one of my favourite animated films ever, and perhaps the best Dreamworks production ever. It's another film where I actually cared about the characters involved, which gives all of the events so much more meaning, and makes the film that much more exciting. It had a great story, it looked brilliant, it was fun - what more could you really ask for? It had some corny moments, yes, but they're forgivable in a film like this.

'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor' - 68% - Look, it's a Mummy film, you either admit that it's bad and just enjoy the ride, or you admit that it's bad and despise it. This film is no different to the last three films in that regard. I went in looking for a fun movie with dumb humour, absurd occurrences, unexplained plot-twists, far-fetched action, and an overall completely stupid and nonsensical series of events, and that's exactly what I got. Yes, the Mummy films are crap, but they're fun. I enjoyed this one .

'Defiance' - 65% - Let's just say that it could have been a lot better than it was. I found that everything moved far too quickly; nothing was given time to actually sink in, and none of the elements of the film were able to be developed properly (such as characters, character relationships, story, plot, etc.), which is strange, seeing as how the film surpasses the 2-hour mark. Don't get me wrong, this was a good film and there was a lot about it I liked, but it could have been so much more.

Family Guy - 'It's A Trap!' - 71% - Not quite as enjoyable as the second film, and certainly not at the same level as the first film, but it was still fun and it still had it's laugh-out-loud moments, even if there were fewer of them this time around. A good enough finale to a pretty good parody series.

@DoctorCello
Oh i wasn't aware that you were talking about professional movie critics and i can't compare them as they've never interested me, although i would be surprised if they wouldn't rate the inventions TRON introduced visually and its ideas much higher than what Tron Legacy delivered.

Anyway i've also talked to my friends about the movie and as some of them are a little bit scattered around the globe they at least physically aren't citizens of the for sure mesmerizing taumelland ;O) and we mostly came to the same conclusions. TRON once was a exceptional movie whilst Tron Legacy mainly dissapoints with the lame story, a lack of creativity and slightly also the spirit TRON was about. I can't imagine that Tron Legacy will have the same impact on some people's lifes TRON once had.

Maybe that explains why I was able to enjoy Legacy. Tron is five years older than I am, and the first time I ever heard of it was in this Penny Arcade strip (the three previous references they made to it going over my head). As I didn't play the first Kingdom Hearts until six months later, I didn't have any experience with it until at least a good three years after that, when I got to play Kingdom Hearts II. At some point after that, my curiosity was piqued enough to find out what this movie was about (Tron being the only film that I had not seen with a world in Kingdom Hearts), and while I did enjoy the film, by the time I saw it, it was more of a novel than a technological wonder, Kingdom Hearts had already pulled off the concept with better visual appeal, and I had missed the opportunity to feel any nostalgia towards it.

That's not to say that the flaws pointed out in Legacy aren't valid, they just don't bother me, and I honestly wouldn't have even taken notice of any of them if not for others complaining. The point is that without nostalgia goggles, the first film isn't exactly some pillar to which the sequel had to aspire in order to be acceptable, and I actually managed to prefer Legacy, if only because the original had already become so dated as to be laughable by the time I saw it.

I think it's hard to oversee that quite some of the scenes in Tron Legacy are very much inspired by what you're used to from bad TV series and movies these days, regarding the cut, the scenes, the acting, the dialogues. TRON in comparison is really a novel with more depth which also takes its time in certain moments to evolve and which also raised philosophical questions. Tron Legacy mainly is a flat, uninspired, visual popcorn trip with zero depth, exactly what you're used to from many video games today.

Oh and on a more pacifistic note, i hate everyone who likes Tron Legacy! :O)

First off only 2 parts were in 3d, the credits and the previews(by the way that green lantern or whatever movie had good effects in the preview)
Second it felt like they acomplished nothing.
[spoilers]he was supposed to save his dad and the tron world, and it was destroyed with his dad in it. Good job.[/spoiler]
Then there is everything the penny arcade men already said.
other than that good movie.