A year ago I talked to David Brothers about an idea I had for the site. I had tried writing reviews of weekly releases before, but I never got into it. There were a couple reasons and they’re both about redundancies. I can tell you about how great the latest issue of Captain America is, but so will every other site. There are so many other comic sites that will give better reviews of new stuff that I don’t know why anyone would give a damn what I have to say among all that. Then there’s the fact that comic quality doesn’t change so often within the series’ run. If I tell you that Captain America is great one month, chances are it’s going to be just as good the next. Why waste my breath? If I want to give you my opinions, I want it to at least be interesting and hopefully unique.

I thought back to the first issue of the Agents of Atlas miniseries from several years back. The general response of people who read it and tried to push it was to point out that there’s a scene where a 1950’s robot runs down a hallway while carrying a talking gorilla and that gorilla is firing four uzis with his hands and feet. I figured that maybe that could be the unique way to cover the comics of the week. I’d settle on one panel that really pushes what the comic is about, more than often more than the cover does. It’s no longer so much a review as it is giving you a gist on what we all read. At the same time, I would make sure not to have any major spoilers. If the comic has Wolverine beat up Daken in the climax, then I won’t show it. I will, on the other hand, show them about to fight it out.

If anything, it was also an excuse to keep me from straying from doing anything for the site too long at a time. I’d have a deadline of some point every Sunday and I’ve been pretty good on that. I’ve only delayed two weeks and those were because of a lengthy power outage and the loss of my computer.

I didn’t know if it would work, but David said to go for it. Now it’s been a year and I thought it would be fun to do an extra installment in a retrospective form. The idea was to pick one of my favorite panels from the previous 52 weeks, but with the challenge of not double-dipping from the same title at any point. Here we go!

This time, I’ve sadly been left high and dry by my 4th Letter comrades. Feh. Guess I’ll have to take care of this week myself. Maybe they won’t have anything to add to my weekly segment, but I’ll have something to add to their little podcast tomorrow, just you wait and see.

Adventure Comics #4
Geoff Johns, Sterling Gates and Jerry Ordway

The Authority: The Lost Year #3
Grant Morrison, Keith Giffen and Darick Robertson

This is a different kind of Continuity Off, as Esther and I break down six plot twists and turns that we’ve enjoyed over the years. 6th Sense’s 4a.m. Instrumental is our theme music, of course, and here’s a few of the stories we’re going to ruin for you:

-The Last Days of Ted Kord
-The last great X-Men tale (New X-Men, if you disagree you are objectively wrong)
-The connection between Hitman and Punisher
-Batman buying girlfriends
-The Death of Jack Murdock
-Superboy Prime punches.

Previously, Magneto threw a big hissy fit and killed a bunch of the world. Then the heroes took their sweet-ass time to get to Avalon to stop him. Only they sent a bunch of metal-using heroes to go after Magneto with no strategy of what to do against him other than “let Wolverine do it”. Thanks to Nick Fury showing him THE TRUTH, Magneto gave up and Cyclops blew his head off in response. Then Cyclops’ head blew up. Then Dr. Doom’s head blew up.

But who did kill Cyclops? Was it some angry mutant-hating sniper? Or was it something else?

Special thanks to David Uzumeri for inadvertently giving me the inspiration for the last couple pages. And of course, thanks to ManiacClown for his help throughout and for being a good sport.

If you’re up for it, give us a visit tomorrow to see the Ultimatum Edit Annotations.

Eric Powell’s cartoony depictions of Dethklok and the other Metalocalypse characters is wonky at best, but the one-shot is still worth picking up. Funny and filled with such meetings as Rockso and Franky, Pickles and Willie Nagel, Skwisgaard and Momma Norton, Toki and Peaches Valentine and, best of all, Goon and Dethklok’s hooded security army.

On a similar note, Dethalbum II has been given an official tracklist. “Laser Cannon Deth Sentence” is on there, which is all I need.

It’s been a while, but here’s another bunch of memorable segments from comics past and present altered in the name of comedy and, sometimes, spite. To start, here’s something form the end of What If: Annihilation.

Next up, the Sinestro Corps War ends in a way that legitimately made me kind of sad. What kind of monster am I?

Can you believe Infinite Crisis only ended a little over two years ago? It feels so much longer. At the time, it was an exciting time to read DC. A lot was going down, 52 was on the horizon, One Year Later was starting up, among other things. The miniseries did come off as a letdown, but considering how hyped it was, how could it be anything but? By the time the seventh issue landed, with its rushed art to meet the deadline, I couldn’t be happier to be done with this whole storyline.

Sometime after, author Greg Cox wrote a novelization of Infinite Crisis. Such an odd concept, isn’t it? A novelization of a comic book? It’s like the literary version of hearing a country singer covering a rock group’s hit song. I guess I shouldn’t talk, since years back, before I was even into comics in the first place, I read the novelization of Knightfall. Plus there’s the whole movie novelization thing I do for the sake of getting site hits.

I didn’t read Cox’s take on Infinite Crisis, but through chance, I discovered an interesting piece relating to it. A company called Graphic Audio had done a book on CD version of his take. That’s right, an audio book based on a book based on a graphic novel. What an insane concept. Too curious, I ordered the two sets and spent a couple weeks listening through them. Yes, weeks. The entire story is told with twelve discs over the course of thirteen hours. Thirteen hours to tell the story of seven issues.

Well, that’s not fair. It’s more than just the seven issues. Cox chose to cherry-pick tie-in issues to help pad out the story to differing success. This includes the end of Crisis of Conscience where Superboy Prime attacks Martian Manhunter, the Spectre vs. Shazam fight from the end of Day of Vengeance, the part of Gotham Central where Crispus Allen got killed, an issue of Aquaman and parts of the Rann/Thanagar War Special.

Over a year ago, a class act by the name of Chinaman7000 created a very special thread at the Something Awful sub-forum Batman’s Shameful Secret. Called “Let’s Ruin the Moment”, people would take an impacting moment or scene from comic history and meddle with it. You would see Ultimate Mr. Sinister shoving a content Ultimate Xavier down a wheelchair ramp or Tomorrow Woman’s dying words to Superman being about how much she saved with Geico. It’s very fun and at times incredibly funny.

I’ve made a lot of images for those threads (the first thread got too long) over the past year and two months. When I started, I didn’t have any decent image-manipulation programs, so I had to deal with MS Paint. It was a disaster. Then I got Paint Shop Pro. That was also a disaster. But eventually, my understanding of the program got better and I still use it today. I could get Photoshop like any other good citizen, but I have a strong case of Stockholm syndrome.

Because there are 4L readers here who haven’t paid the $10 to be part of the Something Awful forums, I decided that from time to time, I’d post a batch of these. At least mine and any that are made by people associated with me (like hermanos). I don’t want to be yelled at by anyone for Ebauming their images, but if anyone wants me to showcase their work, just give me a ring.

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