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The people in my family are…

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The people in my family are…

The people in my family are weird. No, seriously. I told you before that I LOVE characters—and I think that’s why God put me in a family full of them! Growing up, I didn’t necessarily appreciate the very different personalities of my brothers and sisters. Now, as an adult, it amazes me how talented and unique each one of them is.

In honor of my family of characters, I thought I’d do something a little different this time. Instead of writing, I thought I’d tell you eight brief things and let you try to guess which one of your aunts, uncles, parents, or grandma each statement belongs to. I’ll print the answers on the back of this page—but don’t cheat! Try to guess and see how many you get right!

Was once airborne and would have blown away if a sibling hadn’t been holding his/her hand.

Can belch “Ralph was here to see you,” or something outrageous like that.

Has had at least two fake heads in his/her possession over the course of his/her life (the first one had hair; the second…not so much).

Owns a kilt.

Once went on a mission to find the best onion rings in Marquette.

Tried to flush a sibling down the toilet.

Saran-wrapped a truck, a car, and a house together.

Has no belly button.

All my love,

Aunt Sarah

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

The people in my family are… ANSWERS

Was once airborne and would have blown away if a sibling hadn’t been holding his/her hand.

This is your Uncle Jesse! He was staying at a friend’s house during a terrible storm (I think we actually had a tornado), and Mom sent me over to find him. We ran home together hand-in-hand, and I looked over and he was just floating along beside me!

Can belch “Ralph was here to see you,” or something outrageous like that.

Yep. That would be your Grandma! I’ve never actually heard it, though…it’s more of an urban legend in our family.

Has had at least two fake heads in his/her possession over the course of his/her life (the first one had hair; the second…not so much).

This is your Uncle Joel! He acquired the first head at a Christian Bible College (why those Christian students had fake heads, I don’t know). I’ve no idea where he and his wife found the second one, but when I saw it, I knew we had a trend on our hands.

Owns a kilt.

This is your Uncle Jeremiah! I can’t explain it, really, except that he wanted one, so he received one for Christmas. We do have a Scottish heritage, though, so it’s not totally weird…

Once went on a mission to find the best onion rings in Marquette.

This is your Aunt Maggie! She and her boss apparently had a whole system worked out by which they judged onion rings. Can you blame them? A good onion ring is hard to come by.

Tried to flush a sibling down the toilet.

This is your Uncle Steve! I think he said she cried too much and just wanted her to “go away.”

Saran-wrapped a truck, a car, and a house together.

This is your Aunt Sarah! Yep. I can’t deny it. I used one thousand feet of plastic wrap. And it was my Pastor’s house and vehicles.

It was because all the belly button lint got clogged and they just had to remove the whole thing….so heed this warning….TAKE CARE OF YOUR BELLY BUTTON!!!

okay seriously, they gave me morphine for the recovery of another surgery to help deal with th epain, and quickly found out that I was allergic to the morphine as i began to sieze, thrash about, and projectile vomit that far exceeds anything that could be portrayed as an exorsisim. And as a result, I had herniated my insides through my abdominal wall, splitting my ab muscles. The only thing holding my guts in was my skin. So they had to do a total abdominal reconstruction to put it all back in place, and as a result i aslo have a titanium mess wall holding my abs and inside together….and I have no feeling in my midsection. All in all, I had more than 300 stitches and 53 staples to put my abdomin back together.