Monthly Archives: August 2016

Let me tell you…don’t ever see a fine boy and assume all is well with him. I found out a hard way yesterday

I was on my way up the elevator to see my client but as soon I sighted a fine boy looking all manner of gooooddd rushing towards me shouting “Hold it please”. I quickly held the elevator

Normally I’m very wicked when it comes to these things because I like to take elevator selfie which means I have to be alone so when someone asks me to hold the elevator, I pretend to hold it then smile apologetically

Anyway Mr. fine, tall and dark got in the elevator with me. I restructured my face into a nice smile and looked ahead. Then he said “Hi”. I perceived it but my brain was not having it. I said “helleouwww” (that’s how we pronounce it when we’re talking to a fine boy) He then said “Who are you going to see on the 5th floor?”…

It was as if I was hit in the face with a bout of decomposed fish. Gosh! I went mute immediately. Excuse sir, does your mouth harbour all sort of weapons of mass destruction? His bad breath was like no other. I turned away from him as I held my breath till we got to the 5th floor…

I’m writing this to pre-warn that Ninja BankyW. When the day finally comes that we meet, I hope all will be well cavity wise. I won’t give you another chance o …ehen!

My name is Folorunsho Oyewo. I am 70years old, it is poverty that made me look like this o. I worked at Wema bank in the funds transfer/FX department. It was part of Odua Investments back in the day…

Diaryofaniajgirl: In all of your 70years, what has life taught you?

No matter how you train your children, when they grow up, they will do what they want. Before, my heart used to hurt when I see my children going astray from my teachings but …(he shrugs).

I am here now because I was a banker and did not learn anything else. I have been retired a long time and no one wants to hire an old man. I wish I had learned how to do some “handwork”. Maybe tailoring, tiling, farming, you know…

My Lady, this is a bad time for the younger ones. I wonder how people with just one job are making it now. In Europe and America, a lot of people have gardens or small farms behind their houses,even judges and bankers but to your generation, farming is a poor man’s job. You know nothing! A revolution is coming o, things will get worse, be prepared. Because your generation will be worse than the present politicians.You are more greedy and you have no pity on people

During a conversation, I rarely cut people off and I always listen to understand not to respond. So I guess this guy whom I considered dating knew this and took full advantage.

This man would call me, talk about his day, his problems and challenges. I would listen, ask questions, gently proffer solutions and wait for my turn.

My turn never came. He couldn’t even bother to feign interest in what makes me thick. He just wanted to marry and be with me. Reason: “You’re pretty, a good listener, hardworking and patient with me”. Sigh…

He never asks, “how about you, how was your day” as soon as I start talking, he moves the conversation on quickly. I have to constantly ask, “are you listening?” Most times he’s not.

So one day I said “It would make me happy if you asked how my day was” I noticed it was too much effort.

Picking a sensitive and attentive male who can articulate his thoughts even if he’s not a talker and is genuinely interested in one’s life is very important. With communication, you can solve everything.

I thought hard and fast about what our future would look like, seeing as I’m a communicator. I respectfully declined his request to be in a relationship with him and I told him why. He says other girls had complained about this and he assumed I was different. BOY! BYE!!!

As people have pervasive or seemingly illogical fears about heights or small spaces, a lot of women have a pathological fear of pregnancy and childbirth; myself included. However, because there is an overwhelming consensus that all those with wombs must want children, and want to be pregnant, I have kept this phobia to myself for a while.

Till date, I often seek out stories to back up my phobia but I find that most comments from readers are extremely judgemental and harsh, this makes me feel really bad because Such lack of understanding of the issue seems incredibly cruel

I have always dreamt of being a mother, But anytime I imagine myself pregnant, I imagine something unbearable happening, I quickly develop an acute panic attack and make the images disappear as quickly as they come. I had in the past, allowed friends and family to explain this fear away.

My ex said “you are vain, you don’t want to destroy your figure”, my sister says “I’m disappointed you’ll take surrogacy or adoption over natural birth” my friend says “you are just saying that because you haven’t experienced the joy of childbirth”

Being afraid to lose my figure is the least of my problems, I also spend a lot of my time with kids, I love them and enjoy their company tremendously; Oh, and my sis saying she is disappointed is not something I’ll look too deep into, whatever decisions I make, she’ll love me anyway

Having dissected other people’s opinions, I find that I still am afraid of childbirth and would rather adopt or get a surrogate.

Is this so un-African? Am I supposed to say this out loud since I’m single and may not find a typical African man to marry based on this? Will marriage change my mind? I don’t think I would be doing myself any good if I decided to get pregnant just to make a man happy, this is not the kind of compromise anyone should ask of me or any woman who has this fear for that matter.

Is there a possibility I might change my mind or get over this?, I hope so but having prayed about it, googled and read several articles about how to resolve this, Tokophobia persists

God is not an invention or a story our fore fathers cooked up to create fear

The death of Jesus Christ is not a myth to me. It is real, Sometimes I don’t understand it because I have never felt that way about anyone. To put myself up for death to save someone…but I also understand it, because why else would I be so blessed and flourish despite my gross iniquities?

God is, because I have felt Him, because I have asked Him and He has guided me. I can’t be that smart, I can’t be that precise, I’m not clairvoyant, so how would I have known whom to meet, whom to stay away from, where to go, when to push and when to let go?

There is a God, And through Jesus, I try to reach Him daily, Even though I visit Instagram more than His throne, my heart leaps with gratitude, awe and Joy, knowing I’m His and this is a fact that will NEVER change

YOU TALK TOO MUCH: We all have that weakness in us, to hear ourselves and to get public credit and attention. When you talk too much, you don’t listen, when you don’t listen, you don’t pay attention, when you don’t pay attention, you loose the ability to engage in deep reflective thoughts. I used to have a colleague, so good at his job but was very argumentative. He would rather interrupt the boss when being corrected than actually listen and learn. He would come to me to explain himself, go to others to explain himself and soon he became a nuisance. He was good at his job, but he was not improving and was not well liked

YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET: This would be fine if you were learning something about your job on the Internet but you are on all available social media platforms. This distracts you from your work. If I caught my staff doing this during work hours I would automatically assume he/she lacks the ability, or willingness, to throw himself into his work. This automatically reflects a general sense of disengagement. On the flip side, imagine if during down time, he is reading a book or learning how to improve himself…I’ll see him as an asset and send him on all available trainings possible

PRIDE/EGO: I was insulted, looked down upon by a former boss. But she was super intelligent and extremely good at her job. I was determined to learn everything she knew, so, I would go to the bathroom, take a deep breath and wipe my tears after an extreme verbal abuse. I would tuck in my frustrations and get back to work. I was already planning my next move, I wasn’t going to let another human derail me from my path because of their own anger problems. Today, I’m glad I didn’t let pride get in the way of my growth.I was the definition of the book “SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER”

IT IS NOT ONLY IN BUSINESS THAT ONE HAS TO BE SAVAGE. IN YOUR CAREER, IF YOU HAVE A PLAN TO GET ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP, PLEASE LEARN “THE ART OF WAR”