Thursday, May 28, 2009

Thank you for this day. May Nate and I be good at school today and have good days.And Jesus, I have camping day today at my school and it is going to be so much fun and I hope you can see me.One day I will get to see you and when I do, I will give you a big hug.”

"I am going to open a lemonade stand and people will pay $10 for lemonade. But I'm only going to have it one day a week because I have other things I need to do."

"Uhhhh......."

"And then I'm going to take the money I make and save it in my bank with the lid that tells me how much money I have and when I my bank is full, I am going to get a big cardboard box and spill all of my money into the box."

I started to ask why Nathan wasn't interested in putting the money in the bank but decided that it would be ill advised to question a plan that was so clearly well thought out.

Monday, May 18, 2009

It had been one of those nights where it seems the kids had some sort of springs in their beds. They'd gotten up for glasses of water, claimed they hadn't brushed their teeth, that they were hungry, etc. So when Nathan came out AGAIN, he barely got to state his case...

"Mommy?"

"Nate. Get back in bed."

"But Mommy, my bed is shaking. It's really really true!"

Daddy walked halfway up the stairs to take over.

"Nathan, it's because you keep jumping in and out of your bed. Stay in bed."

The door creaks. Lucy is now up as well.

"Daddy, my bed is shaking."

Daddy is fed up: "Lucy get in bed. Nathan get in bed."

Mommy is fed up as well: "Both of you get your bottoms back in your beds!"

*ching a ling a ling* I get a text message from my mom. Oh!

I go running upstairs to David who is thisclose to handing out some spankings.

"Uhhh, David. Apparently there was an earthquake. They probably DID feel their beds shaking."

Lucy says, with a smile: "I thought there was a crocodile under my bed but it was just an earthquake!" And she hopped back into bed with a smile.

This stay of execution has been brought to you by The Grandma Sisi Foundation: Using text messaging technology to save the heinies of cute and snuggly grandchildren everywhere.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

When you first came out a number of years ago, people thought you were amazing. You'd spray their clothes with a light scent, those clothes would get tossed in the dryer and come out looking like they'd JUST been laundered! AMAZING.

And then you had stuff to spray on your COUCH! And your CARPET! AMAZING!

But, Febreze, I really think you should have thought this whole "scent thing" through a little more. You see, when you first appeared in the Target laundry aisle and I was a brand new housewife, I used you everywhere. On the clothes, on the bed, on the couch. I think I bought every different variation of your brand. And now that I am a not so brand new housewife (and frankly have an even greater need for your smelling good and anti-allergen abilities) I have a problem with the scent of you.

The scent of Febreze= DIRTY CLOTHES.

Now, if I grab a cute top I wore for 2 hours 3 days ago, spray, it tumble it and wear it for a night out with the girls, I am going to think of my laundry pile outside the washing machine that never gets smaller. I picture that pair of jeans I am trying to squeeze one more wear out of. Dirty work clothes, sweaty T-Ball gear, stinky toddler socks all swirl around my head in a Looney Tunes fashion. And because of that, I can't use you!

My suggestion?Make Febreze to smell exactly like major detergent brands. If I spray and tumble and pull out a shirt that smells like Tide, I am one happy gal! If I can walk out the door with clothes that smell like Gain or Surf or All then I won't be thinking of dirty laundry while I sip a Manhattan at Bing Crosby's, I will be able to clearly form a plan to steal the shoes one of my friends might be wearing. (I love shoes.)

In conclusion Febreze, I think a move in this direction might be just what the laundry aisle needs to shake things up. This might cause women to EEK! out loud while picking up dryer sheets. (Hey, that's another scent you could adopt!) You never know, Febreze, sometimes it doesn't take much to brighten our day.