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Saturday, August 10, 2013

1 month

Oh little boy I love you so much. You now shake your head no when you do not want something and wait for me to change your diaper so you can try and pee on me and laugh with delight. That mischievous smile you give me when you are about to something you shouldn't. Your eyes squint and your hands fly in theexcited to have mommy running over to get you. Your little wave when I come into the room and the hi you say as you wait for me to pick you up. I love you so much and in one months time I hope you understand that the pain you will be put through is to help make you better. I have nothing more then the want and need to see you grow. To continue to hear you call out my name when your angry or scared. I will be there to wipe away your tears to hold you when your scared. To clwp with you when I sing patty cake.

Mommy needs to find the strength within herself to hand you over in that months time to give you a kiss an hug and know that you are in good hands. Part of me is dreading that moment with all of my heart. I do not want to see you in pain. Part of me will be in pain to. I know you do not like pain and I will do all that I can to help you in this journey of the heart.