FOR THE LONG HALL

Est. 2015

I’ve been mulling over this post since early fall but lately I’ve felt more confident than ever that it’s something I need to do. I thought I’d share now in the event anyone is insane enough to join me but I’m diving in headfirst regardless.

I’ve decided to stop shopping for an entire year, starting January 1.

So far I’ve only told a few people and their reactions have been 94% sheer disbelief… a whole lot of “HAHAHAAHAHA” “sure Meg” “Meg love you but there is no way you can do that” and “you will fail” (thanks C ;). Unfortunately most people don’t realize the best way to get me to do something is to tell I can’t :) There have also been a select few that immediately encouraged me and told me they thought it was a great idea. To those people I say THANK YOU. You have no idea what a relief it was to have even a glimmer of support!

My reasons and thoughts about doing this are so all over the place that I think the best way to manage is a Q+A style format. I’ll answer the questions I’ve gotten so far but please feel free to leave any others in the comments and I will add to this post. Here we go:

Why?

I’m tired. And I feel a little bit like a phony. Everything I’ve written about buying quality over quantity is true. And I adamantly follow my “one in, one out” rule and can purge like no one I’ve ever met. But it’s almost to a fault. I’ve figured out that I purge in order to replace. My quest for the perfect everything is quite literally endless and it’s worn me out, financially and mentally. I’ve done a LOT of thinking about this and the best solution aside from licking my wounds that I could think of what to go through all four seasons following my typical purge behavior but without the ability to replace things. What do I actually love? What do I actually need? I’m so obsessed with finding the best version of everything that I’m not sure I know anymore.

I also have less headspace than ever before. When I did some deep soul searching and thought about what actually makes me “busy” I realized a lot if it is my own choices. My weekends are stressful because I have so many things to do, but most of them are optional. I don’t remember the last time my list of errands wasn’t 75% packages to be mailed back, things to return to J.Crew, bills to mail… it never stops. So, I think of this as additive (time regained to focus on things I care about like Nell + C) vs. substractive (no longer being able to shop). I simply need a break.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that my attitude on consumerism in good in theory but not in practice. I spend too much money frivolously and a lot of it is influenced by this very space on the internet. We’ve all contributed to creating a new world of over-consumption and a few weeks ago a light bulb went off for me that telling people to buy things isn’t the only way to have a voice here. True, I won’t make much money, but that’s never been why I’m here in the first place. The benefit of blogging for me is connecting with others and I think I’ll be a lot healthier if I connect with you all over something other than shopping.

Lastly, in preparing for this challenge I’ve done a bunch of research and found that 100% of the books I’ve read give the impression that you have to be a crunchy, outdoor-oriented individual with little interest in fashion or appearance in order to live and consume responsibly. This really bothered me. I care a lot about what I wear and I think that’s ok. I don’t think a desire to be polished, professional, and invest in quality pieces negates your eligibility to commit to sustainability. Of course this is just my hypothesis as I’ve never done this before, but in general I felt like all of the books I read were great but weren’t speaking to me, as a professional working mom that values aesthetics.

What are the rules?

I am not shopping for myself in 2019. I am not making that commitment on behalf of my household. Actually, while C loves to shop, he’s much more responsible than I am and is much less inclined to make impulse purchases. I’d imagine that once we remove shopping from our weekend “activity” list it will have some impact on his choices as well, but that won’t be intentional. That said, we do still have a household to maintain, so here are my rules (influenced in part by Cait Flanders’ The Year of Less):

No purchasing clothing, shoes or accessories

Essentials like socks + underwear are allowed but only via replacing ones I have with similar versions (i.e. Gap Body, no upgrades!)

One purge every season. In the past I’ve rushed to purge when I feel cramped by my belongings and while I clean out a lot, I haven’t been as thoughtful as I should be and end up re-buying versions of things I used to own.

Similarly, I am allowed to replace an item ONLY if it’s made it through an entire season (and requisite purge) and I will need it for a future season in 2019 (i.e. a pair of nude flats that I wear year-round). C will be the judge if something is actually worn out.

Capture use of all cosmetics (including shampoo etc.). One of Cait’s key points in her book is that we think we need to stockpile way more than we do - she found she only used a few bottles of shampoo in an entire year, not ten, for example.

I can replace fully used up cosmetics + toiletries but only with an exact replacement. This is where I can put the good behaviors I’ve learned into practice, as I currently love my makeup routine and have no reason to “try” a million new things.

Use up ALL skincare before buying or replacing. I have a cabinet full of stuff I felt I desperately needed when I bought it. Therefore I need to use it all up - I have a hunch this will get me through at least the early summer. After that my replacement rule is in effect.

Nell is growing like a weed - I can buy her her requisite staples at H&M and BabyGap and can order a Mac & Mia box for her once a season. She’s a baby and doesn’t need much more than that.

Because I’m worried that I will compensate for my loss of shopping for clothing but over-shopping in other areas like home, I’m cutting myself off there as well. The only two things we know we need next year are curtain rods for the living room and another IKEA chair. Aside from that, home is off-limits and the same seasonal purge process will apply. I’m pretty minimal with clutter as it is but I’ve been really inspired by my Danish colleague’s approach to home lately and am excited to further simplify.

Will you blog about it?

I think so? Again I am viewing this as additive vs. subtractive, so if I find that I have more free time and Nell is sleeping and I feel compelled to share on a regular basis I will. If I find that I have more time and blogging/social feels like a chore and/or a temptation, I will share that too, but mostly I will post regularly on instagram.

Will you accept blogger gifts, paid partnerships, or sponsorships?

Yes, but only if they are aligned with my mission in 2019. I.e., if I am looking to replace a worn out button down and a brand offers to send one, I will try it. But typical sponsored posts of things I don’t need or buy won’t make the cut. To be fair, I’m pretty small fish in this world so I’m not overwhelmed with relevant requests, and I say no to most of them already anyway.

I would also be open to working with brands that value sustainable, investment pieces, and quality lifetime investments (like YearlyCo) that help me better commit to my experiment.

What does your support network look like?

Hmmm right now? 1.5 coworkers that think I can do it, and this space. Hoping to gain momentum as I go haha.

Can we join you?

Sure! That’s why I am posting now. I’ve been doing “inventory light” and evaluating any obvious holes in my wardrobe in order to set myself up for success. If you’re really wanting to join me, shoot me an email as I might consider a Facebook group etc. if there is enough interest.

I can’t think of anything else major. Again, if I feel like it, there may be financial and wellness posts along the way. I am doing Whole30 along with my colleagues and Mycah in January, and I think it will be easier to focus on things like that without the distraction of shopping etc.

Looking forward to taking on 2019 with a renewed, simplified perspective on what matters.

It’s wild how fast 2018 flew by. I swear we were JUST sitting by the fire on New Year’s Eve playing an intense game(s) of UNO (of course I had like a 7-2 lead on Meg NBD). We spent the chunk of winter patiently waiting to arrival of our first born. Nell arrived shortly thereafter then BAM! There’s snow on the ground and Christmas music on the radio again. What? How? While I can’t say I’m exactly ready for winter just yet, I do love this time of year. This holiday season I’m especially pumped as it’s our first as a family of 3 and I’ve always wanted to throw my baby on my shoulders to put the star atop the tree. I don’t care if she’s less than a year old, it’s happening.

Meg and I have always geek’d out around the holidays so I can’t imagine how extra (milienial slang) we’re going to be this time around. With holiday parties and festive get togethers fast approaching, it’s time to deck the dudes with style. So without further ado, here’s my 2018 holiday gift guide!

YETI Everything: No but seriously, you really can’t go wrong with YETI. We have about 12 ramblers, tumblers and colsters that I use daily. I know the hard coolers (roadie and tundra) are badass, but impractical for most unless you’re a fisherman or hunt all year long. If you’re going to opt for the cooler route, get something you’ll actually use. My recommendation is go with the hopper aka the soft cooler option. It’s compact and easy to carry unless your a wimp. Throw in a YETI Ice pack as well!

Rhoback: I’ve mentioned these guys before and probably will in almost every post because they’re just that good. Team Rhoback just came out with some really great new gear with tees and long sleeve polos. Great idea to throw in a round of 18 at a local golf course along with any Rhoback item. Currently 20% off everything with code: CRAVE

Ray Ban Sunglasses: I’m not telling you about a brand you don’t already know, but Ray Ban’s are so classic and you really can’t disappoint by gifting a pair. The wayfarers are a staple in our house, but this year I’ve got my eye on “Erika Classic” in tortoise. They’re lightweight, comfortable and remind me of the clubmasters, however the don’t have those annoying little plastic nose pads that leave red marks. Go with Erika.

Google Home: So we got a Google Home over the summer and it’s been used almost daily. We have it set up in our kitchen and constantly play music when making dinner or feeding Nell. It’s been helpful for me since I get home earlier than Meg, so many times I ask GH for a recipe to help me get dinner started. It’d be also great if your guy likes to work out at home. Volume gets pretty loud so we use it often when hosting parties or for weekend mornings by the fire.

Instant Pot: Like 10 people recommended we get this and so we finally pulled the trigger last week. We’ve used it multiple times per day and are eager to continue to find new recipes. Apparently it cooks something crazy like 70% faster than a standard crockpot. Great for families on the go, or dad’s who don’t know how to cook. If you know how to press a couple buttons, you’ll be in flavortown in no time.

Clark’s Desert Boot: These have and probably always will be my favorite shoes. The leather ages well and is extremely stylish. Definitely go down half a size as they tend to run big.

West Third Brand Cologne: Maybe it’s the 1999 me talking here but men’s cologne doesn’t get as much love as it should. I used to crush Curve and Abercrombie & Fitch Woods which helped me thrive at middle school dances. (Sup?) Anywho, for the last couple of years I’ve alternated between different fragrances from West Third Brand. You won’t be disappointed as they all smell pretty damn great, but Meg gets extra handsy when I wear “Rambler” and/or “Tobacco”(doesn’t smell like cigs) (Meg edit: I do not get handsy, major eyeroll)

L.L. Bean Sweater Fleece: This is the ultimate sweater fleece. One look at this and you can just tell it’d be something you could wear all fall/winter long and never get sick of it. You can layer it or just rock with a t-shirt.

Mountain Classic Insulated Anorak: The key here, is L.L.Bean’s attention to detail in how they added ultralight, ultra warm PrimaLoft to the anorak. A lot of my rain jackets are great for wicking rain away, but I wouldn’t consider them to be warm. That’ll change this Christmas. Currently 20% off with code THANKS20

Signature Leather Duffel: I’ve had my duffel for several years now and it truly gets better with age. It’s already broken in nicely and like all LLB, it’s quality is superior.

Windowpane Cotton-Wool Scarf: Finding a soft and comfortable scarf is harder to find than it looks. Often the best looking scarves are the least comfortable but Banana Republic has a lot of great options. I recommend a versatile color like this heather grey. Currently 50% off through Cyber Monday!

Moccamaster Coffee Maker: (Meg edit: you know we really love this when we both included in our lists of favs without talking to each other!) We found this gem on sale last year and rarely get coffee anywhere but our kitchen these days. It’s won a ton of awards and I’m usually not the type to care about that stuff but wow.

The Leesa Pillow : This is by far my favorite pillow I’ve ever owned, that is all.

UGG Ascot Slipper: These stay on my feet around the house for 6 months out of the year. The ascots are really warm as they’re lined with wool. The gum sole is super durable, so you can throw them on for weekends at home or running errands. Personally, I like keeping them SOLEY (get it) for indoor use, especially when Nell crawling all over the floor these days.

Hermès Goliath Bracelet: Definitely the priciest item on here, but if you really like wristwear, this is an all-time classic that you’ll own forever. It’s got a great balance of leather with the plated hardware that adds a nice touch of detail. It stacks really well and also looks nice opposite of a wristwatch. Some guys reading this may steer away from bracelets for whatever reason, but some just haven’t found the right one yet. If you’re one of those people, I strongly recommend the Goliath from Hermès.

J. Crew Cashmere Hat: Recently got this on sale in navy. The knit fits perfectly as it’s not too tight or too loose. They have a variety of colors. Currently 50% off with code TGIF!

J.Crew Polar Fleece Overshirt: Also snagged this on sale last week. It’s been great for layering and can be dressed up or down. Also included in the 50% off sale with code TGIF!

As is the norm this time of year, I’m feeling especially exhausted by the relentless sales, emails, texts (!! what is with the sale texts now?!) etc. that are bombarding me hourly as we approach the biggest shopping weekend of the year. At the same time, however, I’m halfway through another book about sustainable shopping and it’s SO drastic (it feels like they are promoting a totally unrealistic way of living) and it’s made me think a lot about my efforts to live a realistic minimalist lifestyle. I enjoy shopping (too much) and know that in order to continue decreasing my consumption, I need a balanced approach. Knowing that most people will do some kind of shopping this weekend, I thought I would share the items that I’ve invested in that are worth buying even if they aren’t on sale.

These are classic items that I wear year-round and will replace when they wear out. I wrote this post before linking anything so I didn’t know if these items were on sale this weekend or not. One of my key philosophies is to not buy anything on sale that I wouldn’t buy full price. Most of these things aren’t cheap but the saying “you get what you pay for” is sadly more true than ever these days. I’m by no means perfect at this but I get better over time and try to promote responsible consumption when I can. My list is kind of all over the map so thanks in advance for following along!

For Me

LLBean Signature Fisherman Sweater: Worn above. Mine is at least 5 years old and just gets better with time. Size up, it runs short and small. (20% off with code THANKS20 until Tuesday)

Frank & Eileen Button Downs: These are worth the money. Pay attention to the fabric (I prefer crisp poplin or a thick Moleskin - I do not like floppy button-downs) but the fit is absolutely perfect. I tend to wear the “Eileen” - if in between sizes, size down. The one linked has a spread collar, i.e. good for popping ;) and is $50 off with code THANKFUL

Dudley Stephens Cobble Hill Fleece: probably the most versatile item in my wardrobe. I have a long torso and this is nice and long (the Park Slope is great if your torso is shorter!) and covers my bum with leggings. The silhouette is just so good - the neck stands up, the fabric isn’t bulky… I just love this fleece! The business is also 100% women-owned, and the fleeces are made of recycled bottles.

Ralph Lauren Ricky Bag: The most underrated luxury bag of all time. It’s structured, it’s neutral, it fits a laptop… I bought mine used but when it (if) it ever wears out I’ll buy one new to replace it. I can’t recommend it enough.

Yearly Co: The story of my bracelet stack is in my blog post below, but really any of Ann’s pieces are instant staples. At this point in my life I get overwhelmed by the extra-large statement earrings that used to be my “signature” jewelry and I’ve sold most of them on Pinterest. I feel most myself with a simple pair of studs and delicate gold bracelets/necklaces and I’ve both come to terms with that and become a good customer of Yearly Co. in the meantime!

For Nell

LEGO Classic: There are many reasons that I love my job with the LEGO Group but their commitment to sustainability is amazing. Many people don’t know that we’re already making several elements from sustainable sugar cane, and we have a corporate ambition to make the majority of products and packaging from sustainable or recycled materials by 2030. LEGO bricks are also inherently sustainable - your brother’s old bricks from 1982 will work with any set produced today, or 25 years from now, the versatility is limitless. LEGO play is also screen-free, open-ended, creative, and interactive. It’s the one gift I will always feel good about giving and I can’t wait to give Nell her first set when she’s old enough.

Little Nomad Mat: I’ve shared rave reviews of this before but we’ve had it for a few months now and can confirm these beautiful play mats are a great buy. The mat is actually beautiful in our family room and I LOVE that Little Nomad is a local, woman-owned small business!

Patagonia Snap-T Fleece Hoodie: One thing I didn’t realize before dressing my own baby was how ANNOYING outerwear would be if it had no stretch. It’s semi-unavoidable in New England where down jackets are a necessity in the winter but this fleece has been an absolute lifesaver! So stretchy, easy to put on, warm, and feels like it will fit her forever. Patagonia rarely goes on sale but I don’t mind paying full price. They promote sustainability, repair any item for life, and put their money where their mouth is by supporting many environmental organizations.

Serena + Lily Crib Sheets: We had a few different brands but only use these now. They fit nice and tight, are super crisp and well made and wash incredibly well. We will buy her toddler bedding here when we get there! (20% off with code: GATHER)

For the Home

Brahms Mount Cotton Throw: Our friend’s family has these throws on every couch in their home in Kennebunkport and we finally caved and bought two last year. They are the absolute best. They are heirloom quality, cotton throws made on antique looms right in Maine. They also make a really special gift for new homeowner, wedding, etc. Worth every penny.

Sur La Tab Water Glasses: The only glassware that’s lasted in our household. These are an amazing heavy weight, wash well in the dishwasher, and are the perfect size! They are also a beautiful shape, I love how they fit in-hand, and they look great on the table. I think they are extremely well priced for the quality.

Technivorm Moccamaster Coffee Maker: I did a very, very extensive poll a year ago when we were looking for a new coffee maker and this one came out as the winner. We had a few gift cards and got it on sale so it wasn’t as pricey, but I’d spend full price to buy it again in a heartbeat. The coffee is the absolute perfect temperature, it stays hot, and it tastes amazing. (20% off and free shipping with code: THANKS)

H&M Washed Linen Duvet: I just got this a week ago per Stephanie Trotta’s recommendation but it’s BEAUTIFUL and I can’t believe the price. It looks so expensive! It also has snaps vs. buttons and fit our comforter really well. Down comforter tip: always look for at the dimensions and buy either a) the largest one you can and/or b) one the closets in size to your duvet or vice versa. Many people don’t realize that there is a huge range for bedding - not all King, Queen, etc. are the same dimensions, which is why duvet covers can fit so poorly!

Serena + Lily Sheets: Just as good as the crib sheets. I haven’t pulled the trigger on a king-size set yet but we have these on our old queen that’s now in the guest room. They are thick, crisp, and not slippery (very specific criteria ha). 20% off with code: GATHER

Serena + Lily South Seas Side Cart: I’ve used this as a bar cart, an end table, a side table… it’s sturdy rattan and literally looks good wherever you put it. We’ve had ours for 4 years and we’ve moved it to three different residences and it still looks brand new.

IKEA Ritva Curtains: These are the BEST buy. We have them in Nell’s nursery and plan to use them in our living room remodel as well. They work with curtain rings + hooks and have a beautiful, custom-looking pleat. People are shocked when I tell them they are IKEA! Unfortunately you do have to hem them if you have traditional height ceilings as the shortest the come is 98-118” but it is worth it!

C actually wrote a great post of all of his best gift suggestions for guys, I will post that ASAP as well so you can take advantage of any sales. All items are classics that he’s had for years.

Do you have any well-loved pieces that are tried and true? I’m always looking for good, well-made brands and would love to hear in the comments!