Sunday, December 18, 2016

Movie Review: Evils of the Night (1985)

"Space aliens enlist the aid of garage mechanics to procure local beach bunnies for blood transfusions and life extension experiments".

While the above comes off like a droll TV Guide-styled parody of a grade-Z science fiction film, such a movie exists: Mardi Rustam's notorious Evils of the Night! Bad lighting, bad editing, inane plot, bottom-of-the-barrel costumes and humiliated movie and TV stars are dropped into the stew for a feature that has to be seen to be disbelieved.

After a twirling disco light lands at a nearby lake, said space aliens (Carradine, Louise and Newmar) abetted by some outer space lesbians, who hold hands and look knowingly into each other’s eyes -- commandeer a nearby hospital and begin to thin out the area's local youths. Paying two local grease monkeys (Brand and Ray) in gold coins to abduct the area's bimbos and stud muffins for unwilling test subjects, Carradine, Louise and Carradine begin a series of vampiric blood transfusions. The majority Evils of the Night literally takes place in a garage, adding yet another level of threadbare production value.

yeah but it's not just any garage, it's the cheapest in town!

Evils of the Night enjoyed a limited theatrical release in the waning days of the Drive-In and grindhouse. Its cult reputation would arrive once released to VHS, where drunken frat boys would chug beers, roll their eyes to exclaim, “Look, its Catwoman and Ginger from 'Gilligan's Island!' What the hell happened?” While he's listed low on the credits, disgraced actor Aldo Ray has a lot of screen time. A onetime matinee idol, Ray's name alone on a VHS box at that would serve as fair warning to keep on walkin', back in the day.

I need some more of that medical shit to endure this movie Bob!

Where to begin? Aforementioned pros such as Carradine, Brand and company are inter-cut with adult video stars Amber Lynn, Shone Taylor, Crystal Breeze and Jerry Butler in some scene of nudity and soft-core grouping in the service of a slasher missing chase scenes. The gory climax is set in the aforementioned claustrophobic garage as the terrified teens mete out justice on their tormentors with electrical power tools. The end ….

can I get some of that poofy 80's hair cream rinse, I'm addicted!

Director Mardi Rustam, the producer of Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive, reunited with that film's madman, Brand, to make something … memorable. Vinegar Syndrome's combo Blu-ray/DVD package is a vast improvement in audio and visual quality over the title's previous incarnations on VHS and DVD, but can't deter from the movie's countless indifferently framed and overly lit scenes.
Among the Vinegar Syndrome disc's many extras is the nine-minute mini-documentary “Alien Blood Transfusion.” Aged director Rustam, in a halting tone shares stories behind the making of the film. Rustam claims that one of the main inspirations behind Evils of the Night is The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951), a distinction it shares with that other woebegone alien invasion epic, Plan Nine from Outer Space (1959)! Shot on location in Agoura Hills and Malibu, this tidbit doesn't explain – with so many abundant beach locations nearby, why Evils of the Night takes place around a very stagnant lake surrounded by ugly, overgrown shrubbery. Rustam ends his chat by saying that he's going to sit down and rewatch the film for the first time in many years.

Other extras include optional English subtitles for the hard of hearing, as well as an isolated audio track featuring the soundtrack music and “new wave” songs of composer Robert O. Ragland. Even more substantial is a 93-minute version intended for television markets that appears a bit too racy to show before 11 p.m. on independent TV stations. There are also 24 minutes of outtakes, a TV spot and an incomplete, rough-cut theatrical trailer to round out the package.

Whether approaching the title with bemused nostalgia or with fresh, astonished eyes, Evils of the Night is sure to leave many experiencing A Good Time with a Bad Film.