What releases a memory from our system is its acceptance as a truth by us, as it releases the pain caused when 'it' impacted our psyche.

That is why to a child, our most comforting words are – “Its ok, its ok, its ok”… I'm here.

And that is what our inner child still wants to here from us, that it IS ok, now. That is can relax now; take it easy as it is safe.

It wants to hear that from us.

And until we do that, it continues to speak the language of its wounds, and repeats its history every day, through the pain we experience and express through anger or any other uncontrollable behaviour pattern or habit that is unhealthy.

Once wounded by our past, we always feel that our life is out of control as we are too. We always feel that if only we could control ourselves better, we would be fine. And try we do hard enough, but fail eventually.

As stifling the wounded part of ourselves through over control is actually what keep us wounded, unhealed. As it ignores our wound completely, only treats the symptoms.

Every unhealthy or uncontrollable side of our psyche is a reflection of our wounded self, so treating the wound brings back things under control naturally; as the wound no longer has to raise red flags for us to notice it, by acting out or behaving out of control, it is only a body-mind mechanism to get our attention.

Healing begins with self acceptance. Even accepting the anger that we have, heals it, as that is the power of our acceptance, of our love.

And once we apply the same technique to the experience/s of abuse, they dissolve too, into our light.

That is when true healing occurs, and we begin to see light embedded in the darkest hour of our life. That is when, life comes a full circle, and we are called healed.

We no longer speak the language of our wounds; we speak of a brighter tomorrow and happier times ahead.

As there is no longer a wounded Self in us, we no longer carry the label of a wounded soul - the victim, as we have transcended that realm of darkness and stepped into our Light.

After having talked so much about the need for forgiveness and its importance in initiating our healing, allow me to add an important point - Forgiveness is seldom possible without ever releasing the residual anger or trauma of the experience, as that itself keeps us rooted in the experience and we re-experience it again either in real life through our nightmares.

This can be done either by physically venting out our anger, on a boxing mat, or beating up an imaginary effigy of our abuser.

But the best way according to me is, going back to the abuse experience in a meditation and changing it in our favour. And then change it with the light of gold.

When the energy of the abuse is no longer there to trouble us, we are free, to change anything we wish in the present moment. As then, we are no longer bothered about protecting ourselves as we did till now. We feel safe, as we have altered the energies of our abuse, from dark fear to pure gold!

That we when we can really come into our centre, the present moment, which where our power lies.

Otherwise, our mind keeps running around in all directions, as if trying to escape the pain and trauma of abuse. Once the abuse is healed, the mind feels safe once again and settled down in the present moment, it true centre and we begin to heal, naturally and surely.

Which I've always found to be much more helpful than "Be the ball." Why do I have to be the damn ball? Why don't you be the ball. Better yet, why don't we just invent a ball that does what I want it to?

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."Healing D.H. Lawrence

O I love that one by Mahatma Gandhi, because of its direct implications to our healing journey. As unless we learn to look within and change ourselves first, we continue fighting the external, including our triggers of the fears within.

And when we change, the external changes along with us, as it is merely a reflection of all that we are, within.

We have created all that we are experiencing right now, through a thought in the past, and every thought is a choice.

shadowkid
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437

once the abuse is healed? when does that happen?

_________________________
its not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

i think healing occurs on the timetable we set up for ourselves. we are the only ones who can do the hard work of healing, and we are also the only ones who can determine when we are, in fact healed.

Edited by tartugas (03/24/0703:03 PM)

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."Healing D.H. Lawrence

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