Things I can’t write about.

May 10, 2011

My dream of becoming Internet famous is becoming hard and harder with age. If only I could go back in time to my teenage years and abandon my sense of propriety and shame. Then maybe I could join KiKi Cannibal or LonelyGirlwhatever in the world of Internet Celebrity.

Also if I had a strong blog concept. Or a few kids. Or if I were Mormon.

Alas, I have none of those things going for me. All I have are the trials of moving into my parents house, continuing to fight the effects of the recession and a little white dog with an attitude problem.

I had the realization this week that in addition to my boring o,d self, now that I’m old and care about other people (and myself and my future), there are a growing number of things that I can’t blog about. Things such as:

1. Drinking and escapades as a result. I don’t really indulge in that all that much, so no big loss. But I feel unless I’m talking about taking my hoity-toity grad school amigos out for a wine and cheese tasting party, alcohol is generally off limits for blogging.

2. My mom, unless the moral of the story is that she’s always right about everything ever.

3. My boyfriend, unless the moral of the story is that he’s a long-suffering saint to put up with my particular brand of crazy for four years (and counting).

4. Work and/or the job hunt. Scratch that–anything depressing. People don’t read blogs to get bummed out and hear you me, the job search is nothing if not the most soul-crushing experience of my entire life. No one should be subjected to that.

Of course the question that is then,”What will you write about?” People of earth, worry not. Clamor no more. I have a dog and she’s pretty cute. Also henceforth alcoholic beverages will be referred to a Juicy Juice. My mom equals O Wise One and my boyfriend is the Dalai Lama (which will make the dating stories extra juicy). The job hunt is He Who Shall Not Be Named.