June 4, 2008

Which member of the avian kingdom are you most like? It's a question on everyone's mind, I'm sure. So I've composed my very own Cosmo-esque personality quiz to help you find out.

Please answer five questions below relating to fashion, food, friends, conflict and communication. Then, scroll down to see what kind of bird you are and why. It’s all very scientific, I assure you.

Please select one answer under each category that best describes you.

ClothesA. My mantra: when in doubt, wear black.B. I prefer to pair classic neutrals with rich, eye-popping color.C. It doesn’t matter what I wear. My size and striking eyes make people sit up and take notice.D. I’m not flashy, but I usually look nice. I prefer not to call attention to myself.E. I’m pretty practical when it comes to clothes. I wear what’s best for getting my job done, whether it looks good or not.

FoodA. I’ll eat just about anything. Meat? Good. Vegetables? Good. Bread? Good.B. I eat on the go, so fast food is my friend!C. Give me meat! A well-cut steak, roasted chicken, fresh sushi, fried pork chops—it all makes me drool.D. I’m a carb fanatic.E. I love leftovers. If it’s good at dinner, it will be even better warmed up the next day.

Family/FriendsA. I’ve got a large circle of acquaintances, but I usually hang out with family.B. The more the merrier. A crowded house is a happy house.C. I like to be on my own unless sex is involved.D. I think every meal is made better by sharing it with others.E. People assume I’m solitary, but they would be surprised to see the number of friends who might show up at my birthday dinner.

ConflictA. When attacked by others, I rely on the strength of my family and friends.B. I’m rarely aggressive except when it comes to matters of love. Then, watch out!C. I seem tough, but you’d be surprised how little it takes to scare me off.D. I hate confrontation! If things look rough, I beat a hasty retreat.E. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, I won’t do to defend myself. If you choose to mess with me, you may not like the consequences.

CommunicationA. I like to talk, and people usually hear me when I do.B. My sweet voice masks a darker side.C. I’ve been known to scream when frightened or turned on.D. I chatter and chitter away all day. Who wouldn’t with a cheerful voice like mine?E. I’m pretty quiet, but I do hiss when I get upset.

Now, add up your answers, and find the letter you picked most. Then scroll down to see what kind of bird you are. (Note: you might be a mutty mix of birds. Sorry, I'm no quiz expert.)

Mostly As: You are an American Crow

A medium-sized black bird, you eat whatever you can get—from road kill to fruit to insects to grain. You are close to your family, living with your parents for many years and helping them raise your younger brothers and sisters. You call on that close family when feeling threatened, and every crow within hearing of your harsh, cawing call will come to your defense!

Mostly Bs: You are a Barn Swallow

A small bird with an iridescent blue back, caramel-colored body, and forked tail, you eat flies on the fly. You roost with often thousands of other barn swallows, building your own nest out of mud and grass on highway overpasses, bridges, barns, and USANA’s parking garage. You’re little, but can be aggressive in matters of mating. Unmated male barn swallows are known to kill another pair’s nestlings in order to “break up” the couple and mate with the female. Meanwhile, females select males based on how long and symmetrical their tail is. This questionable behavior is masked by a sweet, warbling call.

Mostly Cs: You are a Red-tailed Hawk

A brown bird with a brick-colored tail, you eat meat, including mice, squirrels, rabbits, fish, small birds, and even insects. Like most birds of prey, you’re largely a solitary animal, but you are believed to mate for life. While you are a large predator, everyone from song birds to crows will gang up on you and chase you out of their area. When this happens, you usually give up and go find less obnoxious hunting grounds. You are a quiet bird, but you use your piercing shriek to warn predators away from your nest and to attract mates.

Mostly Ds: You are a Chipping Sparrow

A small sparrow with a black and brown back, gray body, and rusty red cap, you prefer seeds above any other food. You are known for your highly social behavior, welcoming the company of other chipping sparrows and even the occasional quiet human being. Like all sparrows, you use rapid retreat to high ground to protect yourself from cats, hawks, and other predators. You are named after your happy little “chip, chip, chip” call. It’s not beautiful, but it’s a constant, somewhat comforting sound in most gardens and parks.

Mostly Es: You are a Turkey Vulture

A large, blackish-brown bird with an ugly, unfeathered, red face, you use your incredible sense of smell to find carrion. (Your unfeathered face comes in handy when diving into a rotting animal carcass.) Although often seen flying alone, you’re actually fairly social, roosting with other turkey vultures and gathering at smelly carcasses for an intimate meal. Predators be warned. You aren’t afraid of vomiting partially digested roadkill to warn others away and will even aim for the eyes if something gets too close. It’s all accompanied by a warning hiss that you learned as an ugly, little vulture chick.

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About Your BOTW

Your Bird of the Week began as a weekly e-mail, sent to a few friends and creative co-workers (writers and designers who generally think I'm a dork for liking birds). I'll be posting some of my "greatest hits" from the BOTW e-mail collection as well as new Your BOTW posts.