OK. It’s not. But after this past winter and especially this past week, don’t think I haven’t considered this on more than one occasion. Hey, Mother Nature! Enough already, you bitch! I’m tired of my driveway looking like Tony Montana’s desk – so much so, that I want to go up to Mike Woods, Fox 5’s Weather Authority, and say, “Say hello to my little friend.”

Maybe I’ve been watching my Scarface 25th Anniversary DVD too much.

But there is hope. Real hope. The Sailing World Dr. Crash Calendar on my wall says Spring starts tomorrow. Still, with three inches outside, it’s hard to believe. I need more.

And more I got. In the mail, I received the Enterprise’s 2004 PHRF certificate. It’s a sign! Sailing season is approaching!

And then more! I was told by telephone yesterday that there’s a big box waiting for me. “From who?” I asked. “North Sails.” Yes! The new chute has arrived, complete with a way-cool turtle bag that could send my converted Staples trash can the way of the dinosaur. It’s got clips, Velcro closures, tie downs – and I can’t wait for Commander Dave, Commander Jory and I to work out the logistics of using it (which will probably mean setting the bag up on port tack and then the pole on starboard.) Lieutenant’s Mitch and Patty: Don’t tear this one, or we might tear you a new one.

Meanwhile, repair work on the Enterprise (from The Wrath of Forza) is continuing when the weather permits. Additionally, the Star Fleet repair crew will be prepping the bottom for us so when we do our spring work party, we’ll just need to apply paint (Micron CSC again.) There’s no doubt in my mind that we’ll be ready on our expected launch date.

So in the end, before we start looking at southern real estate or researching which type of gun is best for taking out a ground hog, let’s keep in mind that Spring is coming, the snow will melt, the Enterprise will be launched, and we will once again be boldly sailing the final frontier.