Jousting at the windmills of hypocrisy, scammers, and other stuff that irritates me.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Snowboarding = danger

SportsSo I went snowboarding today...the conditions were a little slushy, as the temperature was well into the high 30's, but it was still a good time. However, now that I'm sitting on my butt afterward, I'm realizing one thing:

I'm old.

Not old like paying attention to Geritol and Depends commercials saying "Hey, I gotta get me some of that", but old as in not able to recover quite as quickly from things as I used to. I noticed after this past weekend of snowboarding that my legs were sore for two days...and today, just a couple hours after finishing, I have a list of things:1. Neck- Whiplash. This is what happens when you catch a heel edge and go flipping over on your back like you were catapulted, slamming your head against the ground. The first thing I could think of was "Jesus Christ, I'm glad I bought this helmet". Seriously, if you're gonna board, even if you're not nearly as clumsy as I am, you GOTTA have a helmet. At least if you don't want to take a chance on being a drooling veg at some point in your life. I'm hoping for that when I'm around 80...not 30's.2. Groin. Right groin muscle to be precise. See, at this place I went, TimberRidge, their highest lift has a weird exit. And by weird, I mean difficult. And my difficult I mean, if you do it 5 times without falling down at the end they'll give you a free season pass....ok, maybe not that bad, but hell, they should. Anyway, when you get to the end of the lift, you slide down, and have to turn pretty quickly. And because conditions were what they were, I didn't do so well turning. So I was constantly taking my right leg and stopping with it, because the frickin board wouldn't stop the way it was supposed to. N0w, think of the rest of your body going sideways, you stick out your right leg behind you to stop you...do that about twenty times, and you'll understand why my right groin is sore. Now go ahead with the 'stop pulling your groin muscle' jokes...go ahead, if it makes you feel better.3. Right shoulder. I was going down the steepest hill they have, Hemlock, determined that I wasn't going to be the hills bitch. Understand, I had gone down the hill at least five times to that point, never once having made it to the bottom without sliding to a stop on my ass, or having to break with my board to keep from killing myself. Finally, I'm feeling good, rocketing down the hill, and lean a bit far back and start to lose my balance backward (uphill). 'No problem', I think, 'I'll just put my hand down to balance'. The unfortunate thing about that is when you're going a good clip, and you put your hand down behind you, it just grabs your hand and throws it up into the air. Kinda like if you were in a speedboat going 30 mph and suddenly decide you're going to plunge your arm into the water, but just to your wrist. You'll feel your arm go a really unnatural direction behind you in a windmill fashion, and your shoulder will feel much like mine does right now.