Review: 'The Back-up Plan,' bad planning for Jennifer Lopez

CBS FilmsJennifer Lopez is Zoe, a single woman who hears her biological clock ticking, and Alex O'Loughlin is Stan, the eligible bachelor she meets, in "The Back-Up Plan." Katherine Heigl and Ellen Page have done it. Now it’s Jennifer Lopez’s turn to play an unmarried pregnant woman in a movie that tries to milk laughs from her big belly, food cravings and mood swings.

“The Back-up Plan” is a tepid romantic comedy about Zoe (Lopez), a 30-something New York pet-store owner who, lacking a man in her life and hearing her biological clock ticking, decides to have a test-tube baby. Then, wouldn’t you know, on her way home from the doctor’s office she meets a great guy and quickly falls in love.

Stan (Alex O’Loughlin), a handsome cheesemaker, is shocked when Zoe finally breaks the news that she’s pregnant by an unknown father. Of course, being the sensitive caring type, he stands by his woman as she grows fatter and crankier by the day.

Watch Zoe pig out on sloppy sandwiches. See her rip her too-tight dress while bending over. Catch her at a friend’s home birthing, where the about-to-be mother sits in a rubber tub screaming and contorting her face like the girl in “The Exorcist.”

The humor rarely rises above this level, and the Lopez- O’Laughlin pairing produces fewer sparks than a wet matchstick. The funniest character is Nuts, Zoe’s handicapped Boston Terrier, who pulls around a little cart and turns a used pregnancy-test stick into a chew toy.

Zoe’s trust issues with men leads to increasing tensions with Stan, who must deal with her skepticism as well as another pregnancy-related surprise. Meanwhile, Zoe seeks advice from her blunt grandmother (Linda Lavin), who raised her after her mother died. Granny has her own problems with commitment, having avoided marriage during a 22-year “engagement” to her current beau.

“The Back-up Plan” was written by Kate Angelo and directed by Alan Poul, TV veterans making their feature-film debuts. Based on this effort, they may be better suited to a smaller screen.