Jared Leto
Dialogue name: Jared
Hitpoints: 100
Special ability: Rock music, communication with the Echelon... no, I have no clue what that means
Personality: Like someone who just spent a week smoking some good pot.

Spyro the Dragon
Dialogue name: Spyro
Hitpoints: 100
Special ability: Have you ever played the game? He breathes fire because he's a DRAGON!!! ...However, it has been banned from this game. He now breathes toxic paint chemicals instead...
Personality: A bit cocky and has a bit of a temper problem.

Car: 1961 Mazda 787B with special capabilities. I WONDER WHAT THEY COULD BE

HORRAY FOR RANDOMNESS

We are on the east part of the icy island unpacking our equipment and being stupid as usual. As this is a continuation of the first Paintball, Jared Leto has sent me on this mission to KICK SOME @$$!!! Well... he needed help with his deranged army So I'm helping him...

SPYRO: Why am I here? Killing [enter bad guy's name here] is more important than Paintball...
HIHEY: Who knows? Anyways, here are the paintball guns. Take them.
DAISY: Welfare!!!
HIHEY: What?
JARED: Uh... I should have mentioned that Daisy is extremely stupid.
DAISY: Lucas Motor Oil!
HIHEY: At least I'm used to this kind of stuff...
MIKE: What do you mean? Are you poor or something? *aims rifle at Hihey*
HIHEY: Oh no... not this guy! Who chose this guy?!
JARED: Yeah... long story... you know how Daisy says random things? She said the wrong name at the wrong time... and now I'll let you put 2 and 2 together.
HIHEY: Mike, calm down. I'm your teammate, but I happen to be a liberal democrat.
MIKE: *cocks gun*
HIHEY: Remember 9/11?
MIKE: Keep talkin'...
HIHEY: Remember how democrats and republicans just happened to get along so well back then? Just pretend 9/11 just occurred.
MIKE: Alright. JESUS, JESUS!!! PLEASE HAVE MERCY, LORD!!! I'll put an end to homosexuality and partial-birth abortion! Just please don't hurt Baptists with your much-expected revenge!!
HIHEY: ... Why did I bother?

SPYRO: So... what? We gonna go inside and kick some butt, or are we gonna stand around and wait for green team to attack us again?
HIHEY: *sigh* Who invited this kid?!
MIKE: How's about you quit your whining and man up like me!
HIHEY: I'm sorry, man up?
MIKE: Yes. And maintain a good, morally and spiritually correct, Christian life.
HIHEY: Define "correct".
MIKE: What are you talking about?
HIHEY: Alright, Mr. Tough guy, how's about you keep watch while we explore the cave?
MIKE: Sounds like a job for a real man!
JARED: Hihey, there's been some rumours about this cave, just to let you know.
HIHEY: All the more reason we should explore it.
JARED: (disapprovingly) Okay...
DAISY: Capricorn.

All enter cave, Mike remains outside, where he begins to hear noises from the bushes.

MIKE: What's that?!

A rabbit with green eyes hops out of the bushes.

MIKE: AAH!! A RABBIT!!! *cowers and runs to top of a tree* Back away Mr. Bunny Rabbit, please don't hurt me!
RABBIT: *recites some sort of ritual speech in an unfamiliar tongue*
MIKE: What are you saying

The rabbit stares menacingly at Mike, as if concentrating.

RABBIT: Aah, your team is in my temple... invading my privacy.
MIKE: What? Temple?
RABBIT: The cave. I am the Gossiper of Atlantis. Your team shall now perish as they have violated my privacy.
MIKE: What?!
RABBIT: I will now tell green team exactly where you are! HAHAHA!!!
MIKE: What?
RABBIT: Is that your favourite word? Try knowing something for once!