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rbf writes "A girl I like at my university, a graduate student in mathematics, will be having a birthday next month. She had thought of throwing a nerd-themed party — show up with tape on your glasses, pants hiked up, etc. However, she decided against it because most of her friends are math nerds and wouldn't even have to dress up! So my question for the community is: What fun party ideas would appeal to a group of mostly math-major nerds?"

Yes, Gauss's Fundamental Theorem of Algebra does appear to be relevant, its just that the complex analysis required
at the inflection points near the of roots positional integrands that define the bounded Reimannian surface produce a computationally expensive solution given the short duration of the party.

Sadly girls almost never played this game...not even the ones that liked math...

I put that in bold. Dude should go dressed as his favorite number. Bring some booze, a smile, and some jokes about math. Some of that "Study Girls" advice up there could be put to good use also, but seriously if this guy's going after a girl that's throwing the party she's (likely) going to fall for someone that makes her party more like a part and less like a damn study group. DO NOT alienate the girls friends that aren't goo

David DeAngelo is pretty good but there is so much info out there for dating tips.

Absolutely though please go study dating like you study in school. It is common knowledge that you can never understand the opposite sex but it is so wrong wrong wrong! Study women like you study math and you will finally get what you want.

And take a tip from someone who HAS done the studying. Helping her throw a party wont impress her. It will only make her less attracted to you romantically.

Helping her throw a party wont impress her. It will only make her less attracted to you romantically.

Amen. Being too available or too helpful turns the attraction switch off in the brain of most women. Ditto for the "White Knight in Shining Armor" and "Lance Romance" act.

I have a friend that always shoots himself in the foot with this stupid crap. First, he tries to impress them with how "deep" he is and then with how smart he is. He's actually a great guy until the women come around and then it's like he puts on this "artiste" persona, which comes off as creepy and contrived. Obviously it never wo

Helping her throw a party wont impress her. It will only make her less attracted to you romantically.

Friend in HS was trying to plan a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend. Since he was also a good friend of mine, she asked me to help. Long story short, within two weeks we were dating, and, oh yeah, everybody enjoyed the party, including the guy she'd dumped.

David DeAngelo is pretty good but there is so much info out there for dating tips.
Eben W. Pagan (aka David DeAngelo) is pretty good at making money by preying on stupid desperate people. All these supposed self help books - get rich quick, or marry a man within a year, make women fall over on their back with their legs in the air - are bunk. In each a master manipulator suggests ways in which you can manipulate other people for your benefit, but only in order to distract you while he/she manipulates you out of money.
Study women like you study math and you will finally get what you want.
If all you want is casual sex and if you're able to manipulate dumb women, you MAY get what you want. If what you want is a long lasting relationship with anyone intelligent all you're doing is blowing opportunities.
Helping her throw a party wont impress her. It will only make her less attracted to you romantically.
If she's already totally uninterested, throwing a party will neither make her differently nor make her less attracted. The fact is that if you're at that point and she's already gotten use to thinking of you that way, nothing short of a minor miracle is going to bring her around.
You're much better off finding someone who is attracted to the real you, rather than ANY fake persona you can put together. Otherwise the minute you stop putting the effort in to perpetuate the fake person she'll lose interest again.
"Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen", "negging", withhold sex till you get the ring, don't go on dates if they don't ask days in advance, don't call and email so they think you're not easy to obtain, make them laugh while being an over-assertive arrogant ass so they see you're smart and strong - all a bunch of manipulative bullshit. Save your time and money, realize that you're no more messed up than any other jerk or moron out there (so don't walk around like a doormat), and that it really doesn't matter if you "understand" a woman who's only impressed if you're being an asshole since being romantically attached to her will RUIN your life. If she's such a child, move on and find someone you can be nice to who'll be nice back! Do you REALLY want to share your life with someone who'll lose interest if you're nice to them? That's insane! A one way ticket to alimony and child care payments IF you succeed....and if you're really intent on a short term casual shag, finding a woman that doesn't think you're a dweeb is much less work than trying to convince on who thinks you are that you're not. Be sure to fasten your condom (and even then cross your fingers you don't get something nasty).
I'm not a looker, and I am a geek. With my partner almost 5 years. Married less than a year, 1st child on the way. Had a couple of nasty relationships before and I can tell you the difference between a good relationship and one where you're treated like shit is day and night. Never had an STD but didn't live like a monk when I was single and can tell you casual sex is not worth the risk or effort.

Married 7.5 years, 4 kids. The simple answer is "it depends". There is a lot of individual variation.

However, romantic attraction is not everything. For a long term relationship, it is necessary but not sufficient. Being useful and caring about her happiness are also necessary. If your goal is long term, helping her throw the party is a good thing.

If your goal is short term only, I don't have the experience to comment. Nor do I want it.

Since they're talking graduate school, I think they're too young to be considering long term.Yeah, so I'm a jerk / party animal, but I think those people who "try hard" and wind up marrying the first person they meet are absolutely pathetic / desperate. How about a man who worked the same job for 40 years, and ends up hanging himself in the shed because it took them that long to realize he wanted something else, now it's too late to start over.

Since they're talking graduate school, I think they're too young to be considering long term.

We're designed to have children from our mid teens on. You should probably hold off till mid 20s but beyond that it gets harder, not easier. Do you really think it's easy or clever trying to have and raise a child STARTING in your late 30s? I'm starting in my early 30s and finding it daunting.

Yeah, so I'm a jerk / party animal, but I think those people who "try hard" and wind up marrying the first person they meet are absolutely pathetic / desperate

So are those people who are so picky, socially unskilled or so disloyal that they wake up at 40, realize they've been a big kid all their life, and marry the first person they can latch onto that will have their sad, pathetic, mutton dressed as lamb selves.

How about a man who worked the same job for 40 years, and ends up hanging himself in the shed because it took them that long to realize he wanted something else, now it's too late to start over.

If you hate your job that badly either find something else to make a living at or fill your time away from work with things that interest you. (Preferably do both).

I say fail, and fail miserably! Try everything until you can honestly sit down with a complete stranger and tell them precisely what you look for in a partner, with all the details and nuances.

If you're too picky and have an inflexible list, you'll likely wind up alone. You should have several lists - what you can put up with, or won't. What you think is essential in a partner, and what's nice to have. The the hard part is to realize life isn't perfect and you certainly won't get all your nice to haves and may still have to find a balance compromising some of the essentials (but if you get it wrong your life turns to shite).

I can tell you for a fact, the people I dated in my youth weren't anything like the later picks, and frankly if I had stayed with those early flings, well I'd have killed them all eventually! What those "bad" relationships did is help me figure out, through extensive trial and error, who I am and what I truly want.

We all grow and change. Part of the challenge is to include your partners in that growth and change so that you don't grow apart. If you've changed so much, have you considered that your former partners may also have changed drastically?

The tricky thing is that most people, including myself, can't figure out what they want, so we have to identify and eliminate what we don't want and take it from there. It's far easier to hate someone over one little peeve, than to see the dozen great things about them. That's human nature.

Realize that you may not get what you want even if you work out what that is. You do have to compromise.

Hate takes a lot of effort. It comes from being stuck with someone you don't want to be with, or from them having done you harm (either suddenly or over the course of the relationship).

So what if they're both math geeks ? Y'know what ? I'm a math geek too, does that mean I should be dating the same ?

There are pros and cons. Having someone that can understand your life's work in detail would be a wonderful thing, but so can the variety of bringing in a whole other set of talents, skills and and passions. I'm a coder who wanted to be a scientist for a long time. My wife is a primary school teacher with strong artist tendancies. One reason our relationship works so well is that we enrich each other's lives and expose each other to things we'd never have looked into on our own. It's about having the RIGHT things in common (similar attitudes, beliefs, goals), not about having everything in common or everything opposite. THEN it's about compromise and genuinely caring about the other person's happiness enough to make sacrifices and still be happy.

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Hey at least the married person can claim to have been very successful at least once, whereas the single bloke hasn't gotten as far. Do YOU have a piece of paper signed by your partner that says they're willing to spend the rest of their life with you?

Like any discipline you have to put the theory into practice. Since we like car analogies here on/. you would n't expect to read a manual on driving and then jump into a car and ride off into the sunset.

Guys who are awkward around women summon up the courage to make an approach, get shot down and then beat them selves up and dwell on the bad experience. If you read the material available you'ill realise why you got shot down and what makes a woman tick.

You should read all the material you can get your hands on and improve yourself and start to feel good about yourself as women can spot low self esteem a mile off. Read DeAngelo, Mystery, etc, put the effort in, find out what works for you formulate your own style and get rid of your bad habits.

It's not difficult but it DOES require effort, people who are lazy and then feel sorry for themselves should not expect any sympathy.

No, he really doesn't. He needs to be himself, and when the right woman finds him, it'll click. The key here is 'finds him'. You don't find a woman when you're looking for one. At least I didn't. Then I met the one who became my wife because I decided to stop 'looking' and just be myself.

But this is/.. We're not here for dating advice - we're here to help this guy help a girl he likes plan a killer party with math as a theme (though I wonder how many of us routinely go to parties).

The trick is to do things she and her friends like in unexpected and subtle ways. For example, arrange the appetizers in the Fibonacci series (or get really daring and stack them vertically using Pascal's triangle). Use geometry to decorate (especially Pi) - how about a 3D model of some ungodly shape (like the tings you find in the Discovery Channel store) as a centerpiece?

But most importantly don't overdo it! You want people to have fun first and be reminded that they're math geeks last. But then again, I usually just make a crapton of food, get some hooch, and put Zeppelin on the stereo. The good times tend to take care of themselves.

There's some truth in what both of you have to say really. Being yourself and getting the girl are just not going to happen if your life mainly consists of sitting in your basement playing video games.

That said, searching for dates is really only good for finding one thing--dates. You may get laid or meet the girl of your dreams, but you're mostly going to spend money on dinners, drinks and movies for somebody's company for a few hours. If you just enjoy dating for the sake of dating (and many people do), all that is fine. A lot of the advice out there on the internet is targeted towards guys who want to date more and get laid more.

If you're looking for that serious, long term relationship though, well, you shouldn't actually be looking for it. People who are looking hard for relationships tend to be the last ones who should be in a relationship as they're often needy, insecure and desperate. The best relationships are the ones that you sort of stumble across while doing something else. Obviously, playing video games at home all day is unlikely to provide an environment where this can happen.

Beyond changing significant, alterable aspects of yourself (like not bathing or generally being disgusting), the key is not to stop being yourself, but rather to improve yourself such that other people can find you "being yourself" more interesting. One easy way to do that is to undertake some new hobbies or activities where there will be the kind of people you'd like to end up in a relationship with around. For some people, dating more (and making themselves more datable) is such a hobby. For others, it might be taking an art class or learning to ballroom dance or working on a politician's campaign.

xkcd has some forums. Given the quality of the replies that I've read so far, you should better ask there.

Seriously! I don't know why this thread is so bitter. I actually would have though/.'ers would have some fun with this topic but damn.

One guy sounds actually angry that anyone would dare try to come up with a party he would find fun since he is a math guy. The dating experts against throwing the party in the first place are idiots. Girls like fun/social/entertaining guys that can get things done, planning and executing a unique party is a good thing!

I really have no relevant advice to the question asked other than ignore all the assholes and have fun.

One of the funnier party themes I heard of (not one that I attended unfortually) was one where they had a futuristic theme. They dressed up in black and silver and stuff like that, call it "50 years from now" or something. A costume party with a theme!And with all you nerds, I think it'll be very creative too with smashed motherboards and diods:-)

Along the same lines, we once had a Superhero party using a _very_ broad definition of "superhero". I remember one person came dressed as "Unit Vector Man"--basically he wore a shirt with a large i-hat symbol drawn on it, and a triangle-shaped hat so that he was shaped like an arrow pointing upward (when standing).

Apart from the costumes it was like any other party: dancing, drinking, talking, etc. But the silly costumes were great conversation starters.

Just putting myself, a computer nerd/software engineer, in the place of the math nerds, I don't think I would want to go to a party that's math themed. Parties are like miniature breaks from what we do normally. I enjoy dinner parties with people from different backgrounds because the conversations are interesting and new. Better yet, parties where we don't mention work but things we did outside of work are great because we get to see a different side of each other. Plus, parties are meant for socialization, not sure if math is the optimal thing for that. I suggest stepping back and asking yourself what you really want out of the party. If fun is what you're looking for, then cast a wider net because there's a ton of ways to have fun.

All else fails, just have an orgy. That has to be new and interesting to nerds. j/k

Just putting myself, a computer nerd/software engineer, in the place of the math nerds, I don't think I would want to go to a party that's math themed. Parties are like miniature breaks from what we do normally.

You see, when I read that it makes me think you're in the wrong field. Sure, I wouldn't go to a party to solve PDEs [wikipedia.org] but I would love a maths themed party because I find it interesting. Little maths jokes, fractal cookies [evilmadscientist.com] (suggested before), everyone in xkcd shirts... it'd be awesome!

As a self-admitted nerd, most of the fun parties I've been to were centered around games: Smash Bros, Halo, Guitar Hero, Chez Geek, Murder Mystery, Pictionary, Settlers, etc. Most of the mediocre parties I've been to involved becoming inebriated and listening to bad music. Good parties should foster social experiences that are fun. For me, games have filled that role more adequately than other things because they give me a common topic with which to start conversations and drift off into random socio-political-theoretical-conversations. Games also tend to be effective, over say an outing like hiking, because they have no physical requirements and appeal to a more general audience. But, then again, this all depends on what appeals to your friends. I've had friends, for whom playing games was childish and annoying (because they thought they sucked at it). Just try to find the appropriate something that gets people to open up to strangers.

You start at 1 and continue listing off numbers, however when you reach a number with a 7 in it (7, 17, etc..), a multiple of 7 (49, 24, etc..), or a double (11, 22, 33, etc..) then you must say "Buzz", and the direction you were going in reverses. If you screw up then you must drink, and once someone screws up you restart at 1. You can go in either direction from the start, however if both people on either side say 2, both drink.If you get into the higher numbers and reach a number that qualifies for more

That's only part of a party game called "kings". You take a deck of cards, go around in a circle drawing the cards.

A: Allocate one shot to somebody.2: Allocate two shots to one or two people.3: Allocate three shots to one, two or three people.4: Bathroom card (return it to the bottom of the pile if you want to take a break - the game continues without you).5: Guys take a shot.6: Girls take a shot.7: Everyone takes a shot.8: "Buzz".9: "Fountain" - you can't stop drinking until the person to your l

A game I played in an archery class with a fellow computer science geek might be adapted to suit...First player launches a projectile toward a bulls-eye target. Be it a dart, arrow, bean bag, whatever. The second player does the same, and has to closely justify the result. Things like symmetry over a vertical line, rotation, translation, etc. are valid options for justification. Be creative!

The first player goes again, and the second player follows, this time using the same operation. It's followed by a thi

Burn British Doctor Who television broadcasts etc. off bittorrent and play on TV.

Don't use PCs so much, you want to provide stress free but communicative environments including the math geeks and members of opposite sex.

Could also be stimulating if you invite people (guys/gals either is okay) who are not math geeks but do something else that's interesting. Not jocks, I mean artists, musicians, geologists, linguists, basically any field reall in sci

I know this isn't an answer to your question -- but you say that this is a girl you "like," and you seem to really want to impress her by throwing her the greatest math birthday party ever. Have you told her that you like her, or asked her out yet? If you haven't, and you're hoping that planning this party will help her suddenly realize what a great friend you are, and how well you know her, and that you're the one for her -- well, it just doesn't work that way (except in the movies). Many a shy guy (myself included) has fallen into that trap way too many times, because friendly gestures are far easier than being direct and facing the possibility of rejection. So if I'm wrong, never mind... but if I'm right, maybe you could redirect some of the party planning effort into gathering the courage to tell her how you feel?

If that's way off base, at least here's a party idea: have everyone come dressed up as a liberal arts student.:)

Over doing nice things for someone you want to get romantically envolved with is a sure fire way to get stuck in the "Friend Zone". She will be like, "OMG You're just the best friend ever!" and with that sentance it will be game over.

I'm not saying be an asshole, but women expect different things from a lover and a friend.

You're swinging from one extreme to the other. You're right that doing favours for her is no good, but being direct with her is just as bad and will turn most women off instantly, and throw him into the "Let's Just Be Friends" zone.

"Telling her how you feel" is like saying to her "I like you and I want to fuck you!". In most cases it won't get you the favourable reaction you're looking for, unless you have high social value and status. It's just low-class and instantly outs the man as the clueless neanderthal that he is.

Women just aren't blunt and direct creatures, and this is why most women won't ask a guy out. Most guys don't speak or understand the language of women, so they completely fail to communicate with them at an effective level.

So what to do? What he should do is work on himself. Turn himself into a renaissance man. Be cultured and knowledgeable, experienced and worldly. He should be a real gentleman, but not a "gentle man". He should have fun and playful with his female friend, but he should never suck up to her or put himself lower than her in any way.

He needs to be decisive and assured, so that when she looks to him for guidance, he's not some little lost puppy, or always asking her what she wants to do.

He should challenge her regularly, and not always give her what she wants.

And he should never ever beg to her or whine in any way. There is nothing more pathetic in the world than a man grovelling and begging for sex. In short, he shouldn't chase her -- he has to make himself attractive so that she ends up chasing him.

There is a tonne of proven material out there that can explain this much better than I can. David DeAngelo is a good start. Elliott Katz's "Being The Strong Man A Woman Wants" is another good, more traditional source.

If she's truly nerdy, she may already know. There's certainly enough info in the post to ID her (assuming you know her already), and given the/. readership it's quite likely that she and/or one or more of her friends have read this.

Challenge your friends to build this self supporting structure [5min.com]. Hofstadter would call it a strange loop. Think of how this loop in concept is similar to other concepts involving loops, such as logic or consciousness.

Work out the Birthday problem [wikipedia.org] for your group. Calculate the probability that some pair of the guests will have the same birthday, then determine if it's true.

i am a graduate student in an applied math program. we typically get enough math during the day (and night before deadlines). when we party, it's usually just a regular party with food, alcohol, and music - like "everyone else". often the conversation turns to work, because that's common ground.
however, i did through a party on my 10,000th day of life, because anniversaries of birth get boring. (for those of you who don't want to count, that's about twenty-seven and a half years.)

I had good luck with a very geeky crowd by hosting an -ism party. everyone had to figure out a costume idea and/or attitude to represent an -ism. some costumes that came were plagiarism, modernism, dudeism, chauvinism, feminism, egoism, sadism, and cartesianism.

I've spent the last 11 years at various math institutions and conferences all over the world. I think I qualify as a "math nerd", and I have a PhD to prove it. I find the question dumb, and somewhat insulting.

Firstly the whole idea that their is a single "math nerd" type is ridiculous. Very few mathematicians I know fit into the high pants and thick glasses type. A lot of people at my institution are musicians, several play in rock bands at night, some dance, some are training buffs, one guy I know is combining his PhD with playing professional sports and is on his way to Olympics. While most are still guys, a growing portion are girls: some are straight, some are gay, some are single, quite many are married. In fact the variety is probably the only defining feature I can find.

And when it comes to partying, the only special way I can think of that mathematicians like to party is hard. I can remember from many times the surprise of "numerotypicals" after having partyed till dawn with a bunch of mathematicians. While there are certainly the "study and never leave the lab" types - most math nerds know are more like the opposite. The reason for this is probably that math is high stress occupation (try having as your job to push your mind to the very limit of its ability every day) which tends to lead to hard partying behavior. The stress is also the reason why many mathematicians are creatively worn out by 35-40.

So, seriously, stop the silly patronizing and just organize a good party. With lots of booze.

I dunno about math nerds, but what my CS prof likes to throw is a party with chinese food and obscure (often German) board games (Lifeboats, No thanks, Starmada, Ricochet Robots, etc...), and that is usually VERY popular with students and other professors here alike.

Make sure you have plenty of drinks, and a LOOOONG table. Of course, if you don't have the board games, then you're screwed. Starmada is produced by Majestic 12, and they have a demo of the rules on their website... It needs miniatures and a

A friend of mine averaged two Halloween parties a year. The date of the first one in any given year was usually about half way to Halloween, usually at the end of April. The invitations always called it "Halfway to the Haunt".
The idea is that finding a decent costume for a Halloween party in October is easy. Doing so in April is, in fact, quite difficult.
It's unexpected, it gets people interested, and it gives nerds an uncommon challenge. The conversation describing what you're doing that particular day is always a little interesting as well: "Sorry, I'm busy on Saturday. Going to a Halloween party." "Oh ok... wait, what?"
Seems to fit the bill nicely.

This is my first post on Slashdot. Normally I don't have anything useful to say (smarter faster posters seem abundant), but I think here I can step up.

Comatose51 (687974) got very close.

Aside from having thrown a lot of very successful parties in my life (even making the news papers), I formed www.HIKEtheGEEK.com a few years ago. Most of the hikers are indeed mathematicians, physicists, and other technically minded people...we also have an amazing geek-girl to geek-guy ratio, which is very cool.

Let's ignore that they are mathematicians, and just recognize they are smart. Smart people are not impressed by shinny objects and noise makers.

Here are some ideas:

- Play music that people will get a kick out of, like the movie soundtrack to a well known or fun movie. Forrest Gump has a very cool sound track for example. It often surprised people when they realize how much music was in that movie. But camp movies can work also.

- Fondue - It involves very hot liquids, and experimentation. The more pots the better. Some can be wine based, others chocolate, etc. It ain't just for the 70s any more.

- Speaking of wine, don't bring beer. Beer is boring...ask people to bring something small, tasty, and interesting. Most geeks don't drink, but if the do, they tend to want to experience something original.

- Invite non-geeks, and invite as many women as you can... Women are naturally social, it is simply wonderful how a well balanced party will just flow.

- Ask everyone to dress nicely. This is rarely done now-a-days. But it is really cool to see your friends at their best, or at the very least, a great chance for black-mail material for later.

- Ask everyone to bring a fav game. Cheap Ass Games is a good example. But don't start games until later. Apples to Apples is another great party game for smart people.

- Show a movie later in the evening, something fun most people would not have seen. Either really old, or really new. (I'm planning on Surfwise next for example).

- Get the invites out early, invite all people in person (on the phone is fine). Do not invite people just by email.- Hire someone, or get some friends to agree before hand to help clean up.

- Lastly, host the party. This is worth a thousand words on its own, but to be brief, a host is an active job, make sure people meet each other. Introduce people by name, and by someone that others might think is interesting. Even if you don't know someone, you can still make a statement, for example "Terry, meet Pat, Pat meet Terry. Terry wears white vans to parties, while Pat knows how to make the colour red *work*"