It was amongst many other moments of brilliance and wisdom, but this is the sentence that was still ringing in my ears as I left. Because it’s so true – particularly for mothers. I don’t know if we are genetically programmed to put ourselves last or we are just too busy sorting out everyone else to think about our own needs, but whatever the reason, most of us don’t practice self-care.

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We’ve all heard the oxygen mask analogy a thousand times, but I do recognise that by not looking after ourselves properly we become less useful to those around us (I realised this the hard way recently after being knocked out by flu, at the end of a particularly stressful few weeks and leaving Jaron and the kids to fend for themselves - very admirably I might add – for a week) .

But to self-care is radical. Putting yourself before everyone else doesn’t come naturally and it actually takes discipline.

So I asked my closest mother-friends what one small act of self-care has the most profound effect on their day.

Overwhelmingly they replied exercise. My friend Kit gets up 30 minutes before her kids so she can work out. She says, “it's the thing that makes me feel 100 times better but it so often gets skipped for hanging out the washing or hoovering the floor yet again.”

Another friend Jane adds “A bit of Tracy Anderson arms has a halo effect on the rest of the day when I’m running around like a mad person doing all the things I have to get done.”

Kelly, says she gives herself a gift of reading a book for 20 minutes after lunch whilst her youngest watches Octonauts, “No tidying or sorting washing, just a healthy serving of self-care.”

My step-sister Anna admits is hard to think of what she truly does for herself, but then remebered the cinema, "I went with a friend last weekend and my daughter Olivia was annoyed with me for going out, saying 'you always go to the cinema with your friend.' I've been once before"

And Maeve, whose usual weekly self-care is a putting the kids in childcare for a few hours so she can attend a Friday morning running club told me that today she was ill, “but instead of rushing home to get on with stuff, I’ve said yes to a leisurely child-free coffee with a friend instead.”

Me? Well serendipitously, soon after my week of illness, I had a working trip to New York for four days. I say ‘working trip’, but it involved a lot of lovely dinners and a gorgeous hotel room and daily long baths and actually some early nights. I also had a Saturday to mooch around the city reconnecting with some of my old New York pals and doing as we pleased (no kids, no curfews). I actually felt slightly guilty while I was there without the family (and Jaron was home playing super dad again), but reminded myself I had needed this oxygen mask for a while.

I’m trying to do it on a daily basis now too. I’m taking Floradix to boost my energy levels (Red’s editor-in-chief Sarah Bailey swears by it too). Am heading to bed at 10.30pm (instead of 11.30pm) to read a book before bed and most significantly of all, I’m trying to eat breakfast with my kids at home. Up until now I’d get them fed and watered before school and never make time for myself. In fact I wouldn’t eat anything until three hours later at my desk. So this small act of self-care is actually having a significant impact on my day (and hunger levels). I feel better already.

Good Things This Week

Whilst I was in New York, my family was having even more fun at home. Jaron and the girls went to Rave-A-Roo at the legendary Ministry of Sound nightclub in London’s Elephant & Castle. Dubbed as ‘the ultimate indoor kids festival’, it was an impressive mix of live music, crazy light shows, entertainers and clubby arts and crafts (UV glitter tattoo anyone?) From a mini softplay, to jugglers to celebrity guests (like Nina from CBeebies Nina and the Neurons), apparently they really had thought of everything – and Coco and Sylvie were in heaven!

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