Since we bought 25 fake roses last year and way too many real black flowers and were left with people bitching about the lack of fake roses and also left with way too many rotting black flowers on our back porch........this year there will be plenty of fake AND real roses to go around. Hurrah.

If for some reason you feel the need to bring a cheery, joyful countenance to the front door, let me make it clear that your jolliness is not welcome. A scowl, frown, grimace or even flat out sobbing is preferable and might even get you free admission if you are miserable enough.