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PIG LATIN CLASSES OFFERED

Each Saturday night here at Smarty Pants, Ethbay will be holding tutorial classes for all those wishing to become fluent in Pig Latin. Class size is limited and is offered on a first come-first served basis, so Ignsay Puay Odaytay!

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

An open letter to Chuck Norris

Dear Chuck Norris,

As you may have read in an earlier post, my friend Katdish has an Honorary Man Card and I'm totally jealous. Now I'm not saying that I deserve an HMC, but I was hoping for an Honorary Lesser Man Card at least. Katdish says that the only way for me to get one is to have the honor bestowed upon me by you, George Clooney or Billy Coffey. George Clooney is too busy ducking marital commitment and there may or may not have been an incident in which I said something about Billy Coffey and body glitter. Help me, Chuck Norris, you're my only hope. What are my qualifications? Would it help if I tell you that I'm a Republican? I've been known to ask people to pull my finger on occassion. I can't stand pink. Okay, truth be told, I can't burp to save my life, but that shouldn't be counted against me, right? Oh! And I know how to use an assortment of power tools. What do you think? And since I've got your ear, my friend Steph could really use a card, too. But she could totally go for the real HMC. Did you see her post? She scares me. Anyway, thanks Chuck. I'd appreciate any help you can give me!