How else to explain this targeted arboreal sabotage of the bike lane? Notice how the street is clear everywhere except where you are supposed to ride your bicycle. All this kumbaya shit about saving the Earth together be damned–the trees have just been fucking with us this whole time!

Last Thursday night/Friday morning, some severely confused/crazy woman allegedly noticed a person drop his keys near 22nd and Bartlett as he was fumbling them out of his pocket to unlock his car. Before he could see where they fell, she snatched them up and waited as the befuddled would-be driver retraced his steps to see if he had left them somewhere behind. Utilizing this moment of vulnerability, the woman opened the car, started it, and made her swift getaway–DOWN THE BARTLETT STREET SIDEWALK!

She wasn’t a very good driver and couldn’t quite navigate the narrow sidewalk, slamming back and forth into the trees that lined the walkway and the walls of the neighboring homes, obliterating the little sidewalk community garden that residents had planted there and maintained over the years. When she finally slammed into a dumpster and realized she was stuck, she aborted the car theft and jumped out, attempting to escape on foot. Congrats to our pal Tava for waking up from all the commotion and calling the police, who apprehended the woman shortly thereafter.

Now, back to the tree bandages. The neighbors have been trying to save the garden and the trees that were injured during this attempted vehicular herbicide, and they’ve fashioned these adorable tree slings to help the little guys recover. In the meantime, they’ve been working to replant the garden and re-erect the tiny fences that lined the sidewalk. So much love for a neighborhood garden! Get well soon!

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on here, but to the naked eye it appears that an interstitial parklet is in the midst of completion. Now, this isn’t your normal parklet that replaces a public street parking spot, but rather a couple of narrower planter boxes that cover the small swath of red curb between driveways. Notice how the planter also contains very similar plants to those on the sidewalk and you get an idea of the consistency planned. Technically, the space directly in front of the driveway should be usable at the discretion of the homeowner, and if he or she wants to have a personal parklet and incorporate any nearby red area where parking would already be prohibited, it seems like the city is on board.

I may be mistaken, but I have a feeling this is in front of Deep’s house (the guy with the speaker bicycle), and this project would seem to resonate perfectly with his DIY ethos. I wonder if this will start off a trend where homeowners on Valencia all decide to turn their driveways into parklets!