Disclaimer: I LOVE bagpipe music! Having said that, this is pretty good stuff. Hats off to Dr. Bob Griffin, a church planting pastor in Wyoming, for compiling these.

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison? A. Shoot one.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A. People cry when you chop up an onion.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a ball into the middle of a pond and not hit any of theDucks.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q. What's the difference between the Great Highland and NorthumbrianBagpipes? A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]

Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?A. Gifted.

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, anIn-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you've beenhallucinating.

Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.

Q. What's the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Bonus:Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a deadBagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake.

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