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In honor of DADT being repealed…

I think I’m gonna go to my local YMCA, shower with a bunch of queers and then blow somebody. Double-rainbow all the way! The homo agenda is on the march!

OK, not really. I may let somebody else blow me, but despite supporting the repeal of DADT I’m not ready to have somebody go balls-deep in my mouth, nor do I think I ever will be. For one, my gag reflex is really sensitive. For two, I’m way too fat and hairy to be a good homo. But, as a 20-year veteran of the armed services I’m glad this policy is over and the homosexuals can serve without fear of discharge for being who they are.

For the last two years we’ve had the vaguely homophobic mantra of “they’re shoving it down our throats” being…well, shoved down our throats by the republicans. It’s an interesting double-whammy when considering we have a sorta black man as president, and we all know how big what’s being shoved down our throat is! Now, I’ve already heard “showering with gays” at least half a dozen times. The implication is that the military will suddenly be forced to turn into something you’d see at the Vulcan Steam & Sauna (reference: http://www.yelp.com/biz/vulcan-steam-and-sauna-san-diego) and the gays will be taking over and, well…ramming their agenda not just down our throats, but STRAIGHT UP OUR ASSES AS WELL! Reality: the same exact showering scenarios that already occur will continue to occur. The only difference is you might possibly know which guy(s) in the bathroom is (are) gay.

The military will adapt to this and within a few years the uproar will be like the faint lingering odor from a bad fart. That’s what the military does: adapt and overcome. That’s what they will do without DADT. For fuck’s sake, people, mind your own business and stop worrying about what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes, or spas, or appropriately named bars.