Here’s To You Manchester, You’re The #1 Dogging Location In The UK

I spent three years of my life in Norwich. During my time in the city, people often told me that it was the dogging capital of the UK. When I lived in East Anglia, I studied at UEA; I ate Colman’s Mustard; I quoted Alan Partridge; I got drunk on Prince of Wales Road; I got drunk on Unthank Road; I got drunk and shouted ‘let’s be having you’ at Delia Smith, except it was just a random woman; I briefly worked at Carrow Road; I rated Tim Westwood; I lived Norwich; I breathed Norwich. Yet despite all of this, I never watched two strangers have sex in a car while parked in a lay-by off the A11.

If you’re not up to speed yet, dogging is when people have sex in cars, and other people watch. If local hearsay was anything to go by, there wasn’t a parked car in Norwich free from fornication. Sadly, this point of regional pride could soon be coming to an end.

Earlier today, The LADbible office received an email from something called the ‘The Dogging Site’. Because I don’t want to compromise my future CRB checks, I tend not to open messages of this nature. However, when the subject read ‘Manchester named #1 dogging location in the UK’, I figured I’d make an exception. The email included a link to this map (pro-tip: click 'City Ranking'):

I’ve no idea how a website like this collects this sort of data, and quite frankly, I don’t want to find out. For all I know, it’s totally false. Even so, I thought I’d share it with you guys for one simple - and rather selfish - reason: I moved to Manchester three weeks ago.

Although I plan to, I'm yet to live and breathe Manchester. I’ve only eaten Greggs twice; I’ve not got drunk in the Northern Quarter; I’ve not got drunk on Deansgate; I’ve never been to the Deaf Institute; I’ve never been on a tram, and I probably never will; I haven’t had my photo taken in front of Salford Lads Club; I’ve not seen a match at the Etihad, or Old Trafford; One thing’s for sure, I’ve never been dogging at the airport grassways which, according to The Dogging Site, is the number 1 place to dog in the UK.

Now that this title has followed me across the country, maybe I should give it a try.