New Jersey gets it right on bullying

September 15, 2011|By Kathy Lauer-Williams, Of The Morning Call

New Jersey put into effect one of the toughest anti-bullying laws Sept. 1 and critics are saying it will cost the districts too much for training and lead to lawsuits, but I say hooray. For too long we have allowed the bullies to rule the schools and relied on lame anti-bullying programs that are basically a waste of time. Or as my son said "I don't think the bullies were listening to the program."

I know what it's like. My son was bullied. For a full year my son struggled against constant teasing and bullying in his classroom with little to no support from the teachers. I became the avenging mom (a role I never planned to assume) as I met with teachers administrators and social workers to no avail. I watched as my son's classroom became a minefield for him. Even children who had been his friends backed away out of fear of the bullies.

Bullying can be very subtle too. It's more varied than just the thuggish boy waiting to steal a smaller child's lunch money. My son who is not small, was tripped, pushed, shoved and had balls thrown at his head on the playground by the bullies in his class and constantly being called names. And he was all alone. His teacher would tell him to stop whining and suggested he was making things up.

He is going to a different school this year that has a no-tolerance policy on bullying. But I can see a lasting effect on him. He is afraid - afraid of the other kids - afraid they will pick on him.

The New Jersey law forces districts to investigate complaints and take action. It seems bullying has become epidemic and children have even taken their own lives after being bullied. No child should have to go to school in fear. School is supposed to be a place where children feel safe.