After an extended soggy winter, it's finally beach needle season in New York. Four New Yorkers stepped on beach needles in the past few weeks. Where were most of them, I wonder? Specifically? "Three incidents happened within the last three weeks on Staten Island."

Ha, no wonder so many Staten Islanders are constantly doped up on pain pills. I bet its all the needles they step on! Just kidding, it's probably the existential pain of living on Staten Island, which would persist even if the beaches weren't needle-infested (which they are).