Tuesday, September 21, 2004

OH HELLO THERE.

Hulk is sorry he hasn't written to you, diary. Hulk has been busy watching STARTING OVER show. That show is very good because it's about women who have to get their lives smashed up and then they go to live in a big house and they do things and then they get better! That's something Hulk can support! AND THERE IS A CUTE BABY THERE WITH HER MOM.

HELLO BABY.

Hulk thinks Iron Man needs to go to STARTING OVER HOUSE because he is a girl sometimes and he cries into his Martini a lot! HA HA HA.

Hulk has to go - Cousin Jennifer is taking him to "Court House" today to talk to judge. Hulk doesn't know what he wants to talk about and Hulk isn't sure Hulk cares.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Hulk was sitting at coffee shop drinking bucket of coffee (THANK YOU MISTER LOPEZ FOR LETTING HULK HAVE BUCKET!) when puny human policeman walks up to Hulk!

"Hulk, you have to come with me because you are under arrest! Some things got smashed real bad this morning and we think you did it because it was a big green person who did the smashing!"

"OH NO HULK DID NOT DO THAT THING WHERE THE THINGS GOT SMASHED! HONEST!" Is what Hulk said. "Hulk has been at coffee shop sitting in booth with Highlights For Children and coloring book all morning!"

Mr Lopez agreed with Hulk - that is because he knows that if he said Hulk had been doing smashing - WHICH HULK DID NOT DO - he would not be at the coffee shop.

Hulk gets back to mansion and finds DUPLICATE FAKE HULK PLAYING ON HULK'S GAMEBOY AND EATING HULK'S PRINGLES and there was a big fight. Hulk smashed him up and learned from Captain America that he was a Skrull, whatever that means. All Hulk knows is that Hulk has had about six bad checks come back that DUPLICATE HULK wrote for stupid things at electronics stores. BAH.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Hulk have a little headache still from last night. Man, that club played music EXTRA LOUD and Hulk would try to dance but kept making the record players jump, so Hulk ended up "rolling like a pimp" in the VIP room and drinking fancy fizzy drink. That is where Hulk saw Andy Dick. Hawkeye said his last name was appropriate, but Hulk doesn't know what that means. Cousin Jennifer punched some guy, but Hulk knows he was getting fresh, so that's OK. People were nice to Hulk, really. Maybe Hulk become a person on Page Six of that paper that's not the Daily Bugle.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Hulk swears, Hulk gets kicked out of more All Hulk Can Eat buffets than Hulk feels is fair. DO NOT PUT SIGN SAYING ALL HULK CAN EAT IF YOU DO NOT STOCK YOUR KITCHEN, OK? Yes, this means YOU MISTER CHINESE MAN WHO RUNS NOODLE HOUSE.

Hulk may go to club tonight. Hawkeye said Cousin Jennifer was going to be in town and maybe they hang out. Hulk just hope he can get new pants before time to go out.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Hulk thinks stupid big party can stop now and go home. Hulk saw part of it on TV box and SAW GOVERNOR CONAN BUT HE "SOLD OUT" AND CUT HIS HAIR! Hulk very upset at this because if HULK can go green and stay green SO CAN GOVERNOR CONAN! He didn't even have a sword or anything.

Then Hulk saw President's daughters and they made some jokes Hulk didn't get and then President's wife came on and she looked like she was a ROBOT LIKE ULTRON OH NO HULK HAS FOUND OUT PLOT AND HAS TO GO WARN OTHER AVENGERS OK BYE!!!!

About Me

Give Hulk $2 so Hulk can buy a Red Bull Superdrink and smash bad guys!Thank you for the nice picture where I was hitting stupid Spider-Man, Gary!

Puny human Kevin helps Hulk do diary sometimes. Kevin said Hulk had to put that there or he'd take away Hulk's Game Boy! He writes comic books sometimes and they are pretty OK even if they are stupid and not funny!

This many people PLUS ANOTHER MILLION THIS CAN'T ROLL OVER WHY ARE THEY STUPID LIKE THIS? have visited Hulk's diary!!