Stuff White People Like Bought by Target

Starting April 1st, 2008 the nation’s second largest retailer will use the site as a promotional tool.

“We are thrilled at the opportunity,” says Ennis Blentic, Senior VP of Marketing at Target. “It’s a great chance for us to connect with some of our most valued customers and let them know about our great product line for 2008 and beyond.”

The company plans to have the regular writers do one post per week with the rest of the week devoted to posts that inform and educate customers about Target products.

The first campaign to be featured on the site will be for Target’s new line of Fresh Organic foods called “Tanner Farms.”

The brand new product line promises to deliver top quality organic vegetables, fruit, meat, organic cereal, chocolate, bread, and pasta to every Target store throughout the United States.

“We feel as though our customers would be better served if we offered a full organic grocery option in all of our locations,” says Blentic. “We can’t think of a better way to promote than through this amazing viral blog. We are also hoping to add user generated content where people can send stories, videos, and art about how they use Target organic foods in their daily lives.”

Blog founders Christian Lander and Myles Valentin will be retained as consultants.

“I’m really happy to be working with Target,” says Lander. “I think this is a great partnership and a true step forward in the future of advertising.”

“White people love Target!” joked Valentin. “But in all seriousness, we could not have selected a better corporate partner. I think Target’s new organic line will really change the way that people eat and shop.”

Regular readers of the site will be offered free shipping on their next order at Target.com with the code “STUFFWHITEPEOPLELIKE.”

About Target

Minneapolis-based Target serves guests at 1,613 stores in 47 states nationwide by delivering today’s best retail trends at affordable prices. Target is committed to providing guests with great design through innovative products, in-store experiences and community partnerships. Whether visiting a Target store or shopping online at Target.com, guests enjoy a fun and convenient shopping experience with access to thousands of unique and highly differentiated items.

Wow, this is wonderful news. This, along with the news that thepiratebay.org (which white people flock to for their music piracy needs) has moved to Egypt, and that Nintendo has announced a new Triple Screen handheld.

hahahaa. Nice one! 🙂
Although when I got to this bit “It’s a great chance for us to connect with some of our most valued customers” I was like, surely Target can’t be so silly by saying that & exclude the rest of its customers.

not even funny…there is no target in canada….as of yet, but i heard they are opening one next to wall-mart at yonge and dundas square in prime downtown toronto and it’s going to be a huge skating rink where people will shop on skates….

How to explain Target? Basically, think Walmart, but with clothes you’d actually want to wear. They sell a little bit of everything, but hire designers to make basic products like toasters and duvets hip and cool, while maintaining affordability. Their items tend to cost a few cents more than Walmart’s, but white people are willing to pay a little extra so they can pretend that workers in developing nations weren’t exploited in the production of their purchases.

(Notice how Proper White People use antiquated terms such as “please” and “thanks” when speaking. This is key to distinguishing them from the “wrong” kind of White People, such as those with square rim glasses who are vegan liberal screamingly effeminate pose-with-food metro dwellers. NEVER say please or thank you to one of these people; it’s very complicated, but they take it as an insult.)

Abby, you forgot to mention that white people like to call Target… “Tar-jay” (in a french accent) when talking about, to sort of mock the fact that they are shopping at a low end retailer, and remind everyone that they are still high class.

No, the joke here is that it isn’t an April Fool’s joke, that’s the real April Fool’s joke, that it seems like it’s a joke because it’s on April 1st, but that’s just to get you to think it’s a joke, sort of a meta-joke. The post wasn’t authored by Target Inc. and very much in the STWL style, but it’s really happening!

White people love to plan stuff out in advance. If you ask some one (god forbid two people) to do something off the cuff, go to lunch, movie, anything, 99% of the time, they’ll respond, “Let’s plan it for (two days from today).” Gold medal for being the least spontaneous race.

Just a note… if you’re going a white couples wedding, if you haven’t already purchased their Target gift since they’ll be registered there… feel free to grab a Target gift card. Its basically the same.

this is soooooooooooo true…i once asked my neighbours across the street if i can leave my 6 years old to play with their son for a couple of hours because we had to go to a funeral….they said “no…but let’s plan it for tuesday…”

Nonsense. Of course they do! It simply needs to be spun. White people love spin. You have to say something like, “With this new tool, we hope to help shape Target as an outlet for more affordable, health conscious, and earth friendly products for everybody, not just whites”.

Target is a big-box store like Walmart, but is seen as classier. Most engaged couples I know (including myself a few years back) register there. The customer service and store cleanliness are far superior to Walmart, helping us to feel a little less like we’re being herded and brainwashed.
I shop there probably once a week.

Never mention Target and Wall-Mart in the same breath. They are not even in the same league. The people who run Wall Mart are facist rednecks. By contrast, fair minded and hip Minnesotans run Target. Target has its own brands, and these goods are always well designed, beautifully packaged, and fantastic to use. Celebrity designers create clothing and home lines for Target, so it’s possible to get good looking clothes at an affordable price there. The furniture is crappier than that of Ikea, however, so don’t think about buying a coffee table or a chair at Target.

No, no, no. You’ve got it all wrong. SWPL is actually buying out Target to protect the Beatles’ legacy from further, well, not exploitation (we are white people after all), but from further insult by being recorded in that wimpy, white bread (pardon the expression) condescending girly-folky style they use in their commercials. Hasn’t been anything as oxymoronic since Cadillac started using Led Zeppelin in their spots. Oh, that I should have lived to witness such things! By the way, this is my first visit to the site. Do white people like to rant?

(Hey, Whitey. I liked your take on the square-rimmed glasses folk. Reminds me of the “Transition Lens” commercials with the square-jawed future-droids sporting superior attitudes and rectangular glasses – which don’t look good on them and which, of course, they don’t need ’cause they are obviously Cylons in human form.
And to show my white pedigree, “Please forgive me for going off like this. Thank you for listening.”)

I’m a 19 year old up and coming model who’s looking for a guy who sits alone in front of their computer all night and has really bad acne…a couple of you guys sound like the type of stud I’ve been looking for. Any way I can get a hold of you?

i hope this is an april fool’s joke.
but, target sure does like white people. everytime i see something like, say, the black eyed peas i think… did target get them together? and then last time i visited downtown minneapolis i realized how white that staff is…

Wow, you’ve generated a butt-load of comments on this one! I’m pretty sure this is an April Fools joke like ProBlogger’s paypertweet joke… if not then I will be really sad, because though I am a white person, I really don’t like Target. 😦

Funny, I wish it was more revolved around the white person theme though. it makes it sound like this is just an outlet for their organic line which is less believable than if they advertised their whitest products on this site.

Don’t be upset. This is great for all you white people because you get to talk about how you knew about SWPL before it went corporate. Then all of your friends will think you are “totally cool” because you were in touch with the “underground” blogging scene before it sold out. Maybe they will even ask you to tell them about the good old days before SWPL went corporate.

why are people so quick to be stupid??!?! it’s like
people have an intense love affair with stupidity.
like it has a big fat dick or something. or the y’know..
um it is APRIL ONE!!! recognize.
god reminds me of the poor saps who went ballistic
over google’s FUNNY ASS 2007 april one…
god.

what’s wrong with square rimmed glasses? just cuz most
glasses are circular or oval? i wear a pair of sqare rimmed
glasses cuz they help me see better and i bought them
on the cheap online…
and i’m black.

Obviously an April Fools prank. If not, this has to be the dumbest fucking thing ever. Stuffwhitepeoplelike – selling out wicked hard to turn an actually original and cool idea into something thats really fucking lame. I hope to god this is a joke!

besides the inherent issues with a large coproation affiliating itself with a racially biased blog, this is lame news. april fools or not, i dont know but one thing is for sure, if it’s true, i’ll have to stop reading. now wasting my time at work will be even less entertaining. who wants to read target advertisements? real SWPL posts only once a week? lame indeed.

In this politically correct world, are there really people out there that think a large corporation like Target could get away with purchasing a site known as “stuff white people like”? Good gracious sakes.

Maybe Target would be insterested in ME! A MIDDLEAGED BLACK WOMAN WHO LOVES PLUS SIZE CLOTHING THAT HAS STYLE –BUT CONSERVATIVE!….aLWAYS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR A bARGIN! wHY NOT? dO YOU THINK i AM AN eNDANGERED sPEICIES MAYBE?!!! oR WOULD THERE BE A GOOD mARKET PLAN FOR MY cONSUMER BASE? cALL IT “STUFF HEAVYSET, MINORITY WOMEN AND THE STUFF THEY LIKE!—hEY tARGET…..nO! bETTER yET—-Walmart…..I have good taste! Really I do! I love Curtians, Carpeting, heavy duty dinner wear, and plates, linens that are and simple. Remember my income is limited so I need my stuff to last! Think about it Walmart! —Riveroflifelisajoy Home and Furnishings for the Woman of Very, Very Modest Means….who just happens to be Ethinic!

yeah, so i’m sitting here at my desk at target hq and even though i know this is an april fools joke, decide to look in our company directory. interestingly, the only ennis listed in the entire corporation is a pallet jack operator at a distribution center somewhere in arkansas. and tanner farms? you couldn’t think of anything better than that? please.

Is this an April fool’s joke? This article almost says to me that Target’s most valued customers are white people, that doesn’t seem right. Not that I am offended, but I just see a petty law suit from someone with nothing better to do than siting around, letting themselves become offended, and filing law suits.
Ummmm, also, I enjoy this blog. But I don’t really care what Target has to promote. I like this website because one guy writes about what he observes in white people, almost making fun of white people, but in a very classy way. I probably won’t read this blog much if all I see are promotions for new organic foods.
Terrible choice on Target’s part, but I must say congrats to the author, you do deserve success! I just hope they don’t ruin what you have made wonderful!

Your peni still feel small in the dark, and your acne scars may still be felt. If given the option of darkness any clever girl would rely on a prostitute for temporary replacement, and then take the jaguar in the morning.

Jesus, get a grip, people. As about 400 others have pointed out, it’s April 1st. And even if this WAS true, it’s no reason to talk shit about the guy’s girlfriend. And I say this as one who takes glee in being an asshole. If there’s 2 things you can be certain of when dealing with people on the internet: 85% of them are gullible fools, and 14% of those remaining are fucking trolls.

Hey, if my winnebago can fit in the lot I am there! You can’t feel the true beauty of nature without parking in an asphalt lot and smoking a cigarette next to the outhouse near a redwood thingy. That’s good nature, yessir. If I can’t go there, let them rot–we need the trees for more condos and Lowes and Whole Foods. Besides, I have all the good parks on DVD, why do I need to leave my house?

I love selling out almost as much as i hate april fools day. My favorite part is the quote:
“But in all seriousness, we could not have selected a better corporate partner. I think Target’s new organic line will really change the way that people eat and shop.”

Well…somewhat fair. I worked for a Target in the southwest and was paid 6.25/hr. Things in the city I lived in were not that significantly cheaper than most other cities in the United States. It was not a livable wage for anyone unless you were a college student living at home with the parents and needed a part time job to shut them up.

The NY Times’ retail reporter, the petite and Jewish Michael Barbaro, who yesterday wrote about the availability of petite-size clothing at Saks, informs us on today’s frontpage that jobs at Walmart’s HQ are apparently having the surprising effect of bringing Jews to Bentonville, Arkansas.

The NY Times’ retail reporter, the petite and Jewish Michael Barbaro, who informs us on today’s frontpage that jobs at Walmart’s HQ are apparently having the surprising effect of bringing Jews to Bentonville, Arkansas.

Go to any Fortune 500 corporate website, search for “diversity” and try not to faint when you see the millions of dollars spent by America’s most prestigious companies on various trainings, workshops, diversity personnel development and recruitment.

Corporations are increasingly likely to err on the side of diversity (i.e. anti-white discrimination) after costly payments in bias lawsuits.

What Target should do is read the new study authored by Massachusetts Institute of Technology Sloan School of Management Professor Thomas A Kochan. It found that neither a diverse workforce nor repeated diversity training sessions do anything to improve corporate performance, or to create a more harmonious work force.

The five-year study noted that diversity is an $8 billion industry for the consulting firms that cater to it. Nice work if you can get it!

On January 14, 2008, Target Corporation distributed a News Release titled “Target [owned] Archer Farms Food Brand Eliminates Added Trans Fats.” There are many interesting parallels between the text of the April 1 SWPL Entry under discussion and the text of the January 14 Target News Release.

SWPL: The first campaign to be featured on the site will be for Target’s new line of Fresh Organic foods called “Tanner Farms.”

Target: Created with the finest ingredients, the Archer Farms food collection provides guests with everything from elegant hors d’oeurves and gourmet spreads , to European-style baked goods and meals-on-the-go.

SWPL: About Target: Minneapolis-based Target serves guests etc. [the 67-word statement constitutes about 20% of the entry and quotes word-for-word the “About Target” statement that appears at the bottom of the official News Release. No citation is given.]

Target: About Target:…ditto.

Conclusion: The perfect irony of the April Fools joke is that it is both a joke and EXACTLY what it seems to mock, a promotion and advertisement for Target retail stores. The registered trademark (The Bullseye Design and Target) and the official “About Target” statement could not have been used on SWPL without corporate permission and approval, probably under a contractual arrangement with Christian Lander Et. Al.. Whether money exchanged hands or not -Target donates to local communities- one fact seems certain. SWPL is being positioned in the mainstream commercial marketplace to make…MONEY! SWPL: “Starting April 1st, 2008 the nation’s second largest retailer will use the site as a promotional tool.” That’s no joke.

APRIL FOOLS!/
and other prankster jewels/
for all you slack jaw, drooling, gov’t mules./
Gullible as fuck!/
Yuck it up! Yuck it up!/Yuck it up!/
Yup!/
Your non-sense-sense-of-humour/
funny like a broken funny-bone deformity forming a tumor/YOU SUCK!./
Nip or Tuck/
S/he who last laughs last laughs last,/
So, if you don’t think SWPL would sell out ‘in a second’/
I reckond,/”You don’t know the half”/
They already did, check the fine print of their book deal/
All jokes aside, SWPL, Lets Keep It Real!
P.S. Jess can I cop-a-feel! (Just joking! – April Fools!)

another thing white people like: being small and off-the-radar for a while, then growing in popularity, then being bought out by a large corporation and making millions and retiring at age 35! oh wait, i guess anybody would like that.

While I LOVE Target, this is a total joke because come on..ONE POST A WEEK?!!! HELL NO!!!! While im all for you selling out and becoming successful, It does kinda piss me off that a large corporation will then own one more thing I love, even if its Target, there i go blaming large corporations. AND I KNOW ITS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE! I actually believed it until I saw the one post a week thing, but as I kept reading I was kind of sad because I would have loved free shipping lol. I would have been more supportive if they just would paid you for advertising and you kept creative control, and once again i know its a joke, but if something like this ever happens, and im sure will, im just saying, dont sell completely out, just 49%.

seriously– i almost freaked out—- glad that was a joke. as a side note… i think i must be white, i think i dig 90% of the list… well not that whole shorts in the winter thing…black folks hate the cold :)!

So many of you sound like Sylvester Stallone when the doctor slapped his new-born blue butt and he took his first gulp of air: “Is this a joke or what?” Duh.

My own superior white view is that the entry is an advertisement for Target packaged in a joke. The April Fools angle is merely opportunistic irony.

There is no irony so powerful that it cannot be packed in box and sold for a profit in a store.

Target is not just selling “a wide selection of quality products at affordable prices.” Target is selling brand loyalty through a shopping experience which makes the customer feel discerning, socially conscious, respected and important. Therefore, my friends, be assured that when you visit Target to buy your copy of Lander’s book and impulsively grab an Archer Farms organic meal-to-go, the check out associate will treat you like a guest.

Great post!!!! But where has the photo blog gone? I love Jesse’s pictures. I still have some cup cakes as my background. I had previously used a beautiful shot of tacos. I hope they’re not gone forever!

had the post as a whole been awesome the word “boughten” totally would have fit in, however seeing as it was a terribly executed attempt to project sarcasm this constitutes absolute and irrectifiable misuse of the right to take liberties with the English language.

I shop at Meijer (www.meijer.com). If you don’t know what Meijer is, you probably don’t live in the Midwest. In which case, I am sorry for you. Meijer is like your “hometown” Target. It is IMO far superior to both Target and Walmart. In Michigan where it was founded, Meijer is on the same playing field as Target and Walmart. In fact, I believe there are more Meijer stores in Michigan than Target or Walmart. The great thing about Meijer is that it is local, and will probably always be local, which makes it very sad to travel out of the Midwest for an extended period of time. Still, it makes you appreciate your state even more. I didn’t know you could be proud of a retail outlet, but I guess you can.

you know white people and their grammar…i’m sure a white person will totally attack this post, given it has no capital letters, comma splices and the like. ha! i love that white people are predictable!

1. yoga classes
2. driving VW and Saab
3. juice bars
4. death defying extreme sports
5. anything European, its like saying I’m proud to be
white.
6. buying up properties in poor countries like costa rica
or mexico and making it into their own suburbia.
7. birkenstocks
8. member of PETA
9. expecting your child to move out when they turn 18.
10 sending your child to private school to avoid possible
interracial encounters.

Isn’t Target just another big box store with cheap shit made in sweet shops? I don’t think I will shop there so I can continue feeling superior. I also heard they employ illegals to stock the shelves at night, and use the social security numbers collected from college students who’s applications were tossed.

White people are not all the same. I know some people argue that it’s not kosher for white individuals to participate in acts such as the CCT. Some will become more than embarrassed during the act and promptly blush while covering one’s face. It is all too common among the species to continuously victimize others in this manner and someone needs to put an end to this cruelty!

The CCT isn’t understood by most people and they believe it to be some horrifying, taboo topic. If more people just tried to understand it, prevention would be higher and it wouldn’t be so “offensive.” Parents, talk to your kids about CCT.

When I go to Target, I see a mix of people. When I go to Walmart is when I see a lot of poor whites. This blog should be called, “Stuff Affluent White People Like”. Most whites in the US are far more like “All in the Family” than 90210 or Dynasty.

This is awesome news! We love shopping at Target and many of our Canadian friends take special trips across the border JUST to go shopping there.
Hey Target! When are you shipping or coming to Canada? You would have a very powerful presence here if you did. Our business, Acquire Benefits Groups, has some special discounts for Target shoppers. Would it really matter though as you already get a lot of bang for your buck at Target.

Mr. Ozzie Williams because of his expertise in liquid-fuel rockets managed and was fully responsible for the development of the Apollo Lunar Modules’ reaction control system. Over an eight year period he managed three highly skilled engineering groups in developing the rockets which guided the lunar module that actually landed on the moon. His technology allowed those brave men and all mankind for that matter to literally touch the face of the moon and return home.
Oh . . Mr. Williams, well he happened to be a black man.