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Heroes of Act II: Meet 5 survivors

An actor wakes from a coma and resolves to change everything about her life. A sportsperson’s career takes off after a major injury. An author closes one chapter of her life for good. The stories of the five women in this feature start after the cinematic intermission. It’s at this point that true character reveals itself. Watch for the entrance of the survivor

Total recallAfter suffering a near-fatal accident, Anu Aggarwal changed the very purpose of her life

Bones broken: right collar bone, humerus bone, pelvis, jaw and skull. Besides this, Anu Aggarwal’s sinuses were smashed, inner ear was fractured, she had a head injury and there was bleeding in the brain. When most people refer to a rebirth, they’re usually speaking figuratively. But Aggarwal has had a more literal experience of the term. It was in October 1999, when the model-turned-movie-star-turned-yogi met with an accident in Mumbai and went into a coma for 29 days. “I was born in a hospital again, like most babies are. I could not chew, speak, blink or walk; I had to learn those all over again. For me, recovery on all fronts—mind, body, psyche, emotions—happened at the same time, and that’s what made it truly holistic,” says Aggarwal, adding that she knew even as she lay there comatose that if she made it out, she would have to reorient her life to serve others.

A practitioner and teacher of yoga today, she has been working with slum kids in Mumbai since 2014 through the Anu Aggarwal Foundation. She has developed a module, AnuFun Yoga, now called AnuFun Holistic Healing, which combines the practice with laughter therapy and other fun activities. “I got offers from top-of-the-line industrialists to come and teach yoga, but it didn’t excite me much. Then one day, I saw a bunch of kids—sad and directionless—in the street and I immediately knew what I wanted to do. To see a smile on their face is my biggest achievement.”

Aggarwal has no memory of the accident and considers this a blessing. “There was no point of reference to tell me where I was coming from. Because I didn’t have that past, I wasn’t living that identity of a movie star,” says the former actor, who catapulted to fame with her debut film, Aashiqui. Despite her soaring success, Aggarwal says she was lost as a movie star. “I reached a point in 1993 where I was like I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to go to the set, I don’t want to do it, because it’s not elevating me in any way. With due gratitude to the fraternity, if I ever came close to depression or killing myself, that was the point.” She wrote about that part of her life and the aftermath of her accident in Anusual: Memoir Of A Girl Who Came Back From The Dead.

Aggarwal, who has practised vipasanna, craniosacral therapy and tantra for years, believes the accident was a sort of culmination of events, or as she says, “total destruction before resurrection”.

When asked whether she still connects with her earlier self, Aggarwal says, “I was in Delhi once and my mother started playing Aashiqui. As I watched the film, I felt a strange sense of belonging. I do relate to that Anu as well, but she’s a different person.”

Photograph: Meetesh Taneja

Blank pageMeghna Pant left an abusive partner and knows exactly what millions of women in that situation need to hear

Once he pushed me so hard, I landed on my neck and collapsed. Now when I look back, it makes me think what if I had landed an inch here or there; I would have been dead.” That’s Meghna Pant, feminist, speaker and author of bestsellers such as One And A Half Wife (2012), The Trouble With Women (2013) and Happy Birthday And Other Stories (2013), and she’s talking about an abusive relationship she was in for seven years.

From being locked inside the kitchen because she had not loaded the dishwasher, to being greeted in the morning with Post-Its stuck to the bathroom wall, listing all that she had done wrong the previous day, and finally being abandoned in a shady Dubai hotel in 2013, Pant endured all this and more before walking out. “I had lost faith in myself; I felt like a worm. The abuser chips away at your being, your confidence, and once you lose your sense of self, they have absolute control over you,” says the 36-year-old, who took to writing as a way to escape her reality.

It wasn’t just the abuse that left her broken; it was also some of the responses she got from those she confided in, reactions that speak volumes about how abuse is normalised in this country. “I was shocked to hear some of them say, ‘ek haath se taali nahi bajti (you must have done something to provoke him)’; or ‘you didn’t land in the hospital at least’. So until you are not dead, no one is going to believe you.”

The TEDx speaker, whose talk was titled ‘Stop the Violence, Stop the Silence’, is today counted among the strongest feminist voices in the country. Pant says she counts herself among the lucky ones because she had the means and support to begin a new life. “One in three women in India is subjected to abuse—that’s 200 million women, and a huge chunk of them belong to the lower economic sections of society and have nowhere to go if they escape. That’s where the government and state must step in.”

In her book, The Trouble With Women, Pant highlights the stories we never hear about, many involving marital rape and dowry harassment. Talking about how her writing style has evolved, she says, “It has become more honest. As a writer, there’s an invisible shield between you and your reader—there’s only so much of yourself that you can give to the public. I wanted that wall to go. I have come to terms with what and who I am as a person and now I am allowing the world to see it.”

Her next book, Strong Little Men, is based on true events and she says it’s her way of finding closure. “The man will not apologise or acknowledge what he did to you. Only you know what you have gone through. And you will not get closure until you find it for yourself. This book is mine.”

Photograph: Vinay Javkar

Guts, gloryKabaddi player Karamjyoti Dalal’s career ended with a spinal injury. She then went on to become a world-class para-athlete

Bedridden, I would often watch recaps of my kabaddi matches to see where I went wrong, main haari kaise (how did I lose). That’s when it occurred to me that it’s the same with my injury—only this time my opponent is my circumstance,” says Karamjyoti Dalal, who won a bronze in discus throw at the World Para Athletics Championships 2017 and a gold at the FAZAA International Athletics Competition in Dubai last year in shot put.

Ever a sports enthusiast, the Haryana athlete had never let epilepsy come in the way of her love for kabaddi, until August 25, 2008, when a sudden attack led to her fall from a terrace. “I landed on my spine, which was already weak because of the epilepsy. I spent a month in the hospital. The doctors said I won’t be able to walk again. It took me a year before I could even regain my motor sensations.”

Having led an active life of a sportsperson, she found it suffocating to be confined to a bed. “I was at the lowest phase in my life, physically and mentally. The negativity didn’t dispel, even as my father kept encouraging me, saying the accident could turn my life around for the better,” says the 30-year-old.

It wasn’t until 2013 when Dalal’s aunt told her about para-athletics that the champion in her revived. “Till then I used to think it’s only for polio-afflicted people, and not ones with spinal injuries.” Then began her training in a Rohtak stadium, in shot put and discus throw. “I would work out twice as much as we were asked to, and practice even on our off days—breaking a few windowpanes in the house in the process,” she says with a laugh. The results were for everyone to see. She not only won two bronze medals—in shot put and discus throw—at the 2014 Asian Para Games, but also three golds at the National Para Games 2015—one each in discus throw, shot put and javelin throw. Within a year of that, she went from being unranked to breaking through the top 10 in the world, and is currently World No. 6.

Among other feats, Dalal’s big moment of triumph came when she learnt swimming before the 2016 World Championships. “It’s amazing how something I could not do as a regular athlete, I did with no strength in my legs, which, in fact, makes body balancing a real challenge.”

Ever the fighter, Dalal is currently training for Asian Games 2018 and FAZAA International Athletics Competition in March. She plays in the F-55 category for women, which is for athletes with no sensation below the waist. Ask her if she still follows kabaddi, and she says, “Oh yes, I still watch Pro Kabaddi League and other matches with equal enthusiasm, and can even catch the slips and wrong moves of the players. It will always be a part of who I am today.”

Photograph: Yashsvi Sharma

Full circleOnce a confused, bullied child, today Kalki Subramaniam is helping others like her lead a life of possibilities

"I am 10 years old. The day I became a complete woman physically, that’s the day I was truly born,” says transgender activist, artist, poet and actor Kalki Subramaniam, who underwent sex reassignment therapy (SRT) a decade ago. The journey of coming into her own was not easy though. Hailing from Pollachi in Tamil Nadu, Subramaniam was like any other kid, carefree and happy, until she hit puberty and began to identify as female. “I was very feminine, and because of that I was severely and endlessly bullied by my classmates.”

Recounting the first time she told her mother about her internal struggles, Subramaniam says, “She felt shattered, my sisters were shaken too. But eventually everyone began to support me. They never hated me for who I was.” With her family by her side, she began a “joyful phase of transformation” that involved years of hormone replacement therapy, months of laser surgery and finally SRT. “It was difficult but worth the pain, as this life I live is designed by me alone.” She’s now bringing this sense of freedom and dignity to others like her with Sahodari Foundation, an organisation she set up in 2008 for the social, political and economic empowerment of transgender and gender non-conforming people. “I want equality, justice and recognition for people like me. Bringing transgender people into the mainstream is the only way to end transphobia,” says Subramaniam, who got a standing ovation for her speech at India Conference 2017 organised by Harvard Business School and Harvard Kennedy School early last year.

Holding two postgraduate degrees—in mass communication and international relations—Subramaniam knows education is an important tool of empowerment, and that’s why her work involves supporting others in this area and with finding jobs. She believes literature, art and media can be powerful instruments of change. “As a teenager, I used to write poetry and paint on scraps of paper to deal with my anguish. Years later, art has become a therapy,” she says.

A woman of many talents, Subramaniam was the first transperson to play the lead in a Tamil film called Narthagi in 2011. She also published her collections of poems titled Kuri Aruthean (I cut my phallus) two years ago; auctioned her paintings last year on a crowdfunding website to fund her organisation; and in 2014 was named by Facebook as one of the 12 most inspiring women in the world to use the platform for community development. Currently busy with the Walls of Kindness project, under which members of the Sahodari Foundation beautify schools in remote villages and tribal areas, Subramaniam calls it “the transgender community’s gesture of giving back to the other underprivileged people of society”.

A village school in Tamil Nadu (above) before it was renovated by members of the Sahodari Foundation (below)

What’s the one piece of advice Subramaniam would give to those grappling with their identity? “Value yourself. This is particularly important for transgender people. Be bold, never fear and don't be ashamed to accept who you are.”

Photograph: PaarthipanDesigner : Arun Balakrishnaa

Beautiful mindDiagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, Reshma Valliappan shook free of the labels and found a voice that was her own

What would you do if you are cast out by society due to an illness you have no control over? No matter what else she did, going into hiding was not an option for Reshma Valliappan, or Val Resh as she likes to be called. At only two, she was diagnosed with Reye’s Syndrome, a rare condition that affects the liver and brain. It was a devastating diagnosis, but 20 years later, there would be another.

Through most of her years growing up, Val Resh fought the voices in her head telling her to do things she didn’t want to. A schizophrenia diagnosis helped make sense of all that, but it didn’t make her life any easier. “I was put on anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic pills, mood stabilisers, and sedatives to calm me down. My mother wanted to send me to a rehab and my father reached a point where he asked my psychiatrist if electro-convulsive therapy would help me with my suicidal tendencies. I also visited tantrics, spiritual gurus and random babas who thought they could drive the evil spirit out of me with some broomsticks and incense.” One day, she decided she didn’t need to fit into anyone else’s idea of normal. She stopped her medications and, around the same time, started making art.

“One day, when I was not on medication, the voices inside me told me to paint. My father saw me do that and he realised art brought normalcy into my life, so he bought me paint and brushes,” recalls the 37-year-old. Val Resh’s association with art led to the birth of the Red Door Project in 2000, an initiative through which she uses art to connect with people and also heal others with similar conditions. Since 2004, she has been campaigning for the treatment and care of those with mental health challenges in line with the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities. This means bringing an end to forced treatment and cruelty towards a particularly vulnerable section of the population.

Her own recovery has been so impressive that her journey was narrated in the multi-award-winning documentary, A Drop Of Sunshine, made by Aparna Sanyal in 2011. Today, Val Resh paints and teaches martial arts, besides being a public speaker and a writer for academic papers. “I never had any formal training in any of these. Each trait was suppressed for so long that they turned into commanding voices, telling me what to do.”

For others struggling with schizophrenia, Val Resh has some advice, “You’re not going crazy, but you might be waking up. Every person has a battle to face… Finding our purpose helps us heal. Find your voice, trust it and never let it go.”