Jill Tracy talks with Film Noir Foundation’s Eddie Muller about the allure of the dark side, the arsenic craze, spending the night with skeletons, and the horrors of the entertainment industry

Jill Tracy’s album Diabolical Streak was suggested to me because of my predilection for all things noir. It became an essential part of the musical backdrop to my writing Dark City Dames: The Wicked Women of Film Noir. Jill Tracy finds a compelling sensuality in everything, from the promise of one wicked night to the fiery end of the world. Her breathy vocals entice the listener into a sonic dreamscape—a dark and magical realm, simultaneously cerebral, sexy and sinister. It’s not safe here, but you won’t be in any hurry to leave. Beneath the force and filigree of Tracy’s original piano lines lurks cold steel—the woman has guts to spare, creating something so distinctive amidst the corporate musical mediocrity that’s poisoning the culture.San Francisco Chronicle hails Jill Tracy “a femme fatale for the thinking man.”LA Weekly has christened her “the cult darling of the Underworld.”

One of the cuts from Diabolical Streak, “Evil Night Together” was chosen by Showtime Networks as the “final symphony” to promote the highly anticipated last season of Dexter. Her music has been featured on NPR, CBS-TV Navy NCIS, and numerous independent films.

During the first two years of Noir City at San Francisco’s Castro Theatre, I asked Jill Tracy to provide musical interludes and introduce films at several screenings. She has also performed twice at LA Noir at the Egyptian Theater. Both of us were seeking fresh ways to expand our work—a constant challenge for independent artists in any medium. Recently I caught up with Jill Tracy again, and we discussed the obstacles, and inspirations, that writers and musicians share—as well as the beauty that forever lurks in the shadows. —Eddie Muller

Eddie Muller: Would you still make music if you couldn’t reach an audience?

Jill Tracy: Music has always been my catharsis. So yes, absolutely I would. I create my best music where there’s no audience.

EM: Don’t you need an audience to validate what you do? I ask myself: Would I still write if I knew I wasn’t reaching many readers?

JT: It depends on one’s intentions. I would always create music, regardless. But having people respond to what you do does elevate it to a different level. It’s odd, but when I perform a song for the first time in front of an audience, a little death happens. It’s not mine anymore. It’s sad, in a way.

EM: Do you get over that? You must.

JT: Yeah, because you’ve got to perform it again the next night! [Laughs] But your personal attachment is gone. Songs arise from emotions, experiences, moods and dreams. Playing it alone for myself, I can revisit that place—it’s an actual souvenir of Time. Playing in front of an audience takes that away.

EM: Isn’t the point to turn it loose?

JT: Depends. Some songs I’ll never perform live because I don’t want to turn them loose. They’re a tonic for me. I go back and spend time in that song, and I don’t want to share that experience with anyone.

EM: There are songs you’ve written that nobody’s heard?

JT: Oh, yeah.

EM: I couldn’t imagine writing a story—

JT: Isn’t it like keeping journal entries?

EM: I don’t keep a journal. No. To me, someone reading the story completes the creative process. But I’ve talked with painters, for example, who only show their work grudgingly. “I didn’t paint this to be seen, I painted it because I had to.”

(Jill Tracy photographed by noir photography master Jim Ferreira)

JT: You’re vulnerable when someone hears your song for the first time. You’re disrobing for the crowd. But you’re right, it does eventually make that lovely transition into something else. I give it to THEM. And the beautiful thing is—often they need the song more than I do. I’m constantly moved and shocked by the amount of mail I receive where someone tells me my music was the only thing helping them through a rough time, or it was because of a certain song of mine that saved them from committing suicide. Often fans will come up to me at shows with tears in their eyes, just wanting me to hug them. It’s such a poignant and rare connection, I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

EM: Music affects people so immediately. No one reacts to a book the way they react to music. As a writer, that makes me envious. [Laughs]. It takes so much time to produce a novel, and to read it. Music plugs in directly.

JT: Yes, music is a living thing, captured immediacy—and the strange, intoxicating intimacy with a crowd. But I envy artists who can hang their work on a wall and step away from it. They can see others react to it. I can’t watch myself perform, or watch others watching me perform. I’m in it. It’s intangible. The moment the song is out in the atmosphere, it vanishes.

EM: That’s why you make records! Isn’t it gratifying to know you can get into somebody’s head like that? When someone tells me, “I read your book straight through,” that’s so satisfying. You must feel the same thrill when you know people play your album over and over again, that it has that impact on them.

JT: That’s my goal, to create music that transports them into another world, and allows them to linger there. I am a gatekeeper of emotions…There’s nothing more powerful than that. That’s the magic music allows—like a trap door or portal, it accompanies us—to a place we never knew existed, but wish to go. Similar to when I read your novel. I was ill with the flu. I was in bed. It was fantastic, because I was able to get out of my miserable head and live in your world for a while.

EM: Diabolical Streak was more like stepping into a novel or a film than it was like listening to a collection of songs. It’s like, “Oooh, this is a place she’s created.”

JT: The kingdom of the mind’s eye.

(Stormy late nights in New York City: shooting the music video “Pulling Your Insides Out)

EM: How influenced were you by cinema?

JT: I have always been drawn to the mysterious— fantastical, otherworldly imagery. Worlds sans-time. I was obsessed with Alfred Hitchcock, Bernard Herrmann, Ray Bradbury, Rod Serling, Jean Cocteau. As a child, I tried to build a time machine in my bedroom closet with a tiny chair and my favorite zebra lamp. I thought one could travel through the shadows. I just wanted to live in those worlds. I still do.

JT: When I wrote “Where Shadows Fall,” I wanted to capture that sultry, intoxicating feeling watching film noir. Being under the sway of chiaroscuro—the shadows— that rapturous, dangerous and melancholy place we can really only fully attain in our minds. “Night has fallen, and so have we/ But seduction deceives us eventually…”
(Great moody horns and even bass flute on that tune by the legendary Ralph Carney, and gorgeous percussion by Randy Odell.)

EM: What inspires you of late?

JT: I’ve been immersing myself in unusual locations to compose music. It’s exhilarating and challenging as the environment not only drives the work but becomes part of it. I had a piano love affair with the antique Steinways in the (supposedly haunted) 1890 Craigdarroch Castle in Victoria, BC; channeled music in an abandoned 1800s San Francisco medical asylum, and the eccentric Los Angeles mansion of a 19th century murderer. I created an ongoing after-dark series at the wondrous San Francisco Conservatory of Flowers where I hosted night tours of the gardens and then performed music and curated each evening on a different intriguing theme— like the strange history of perfumes, poisonous plants and the arsenic craze, spirits that supposedly lived in various woods of violins.

EM: Your music videos have been shot in some provocative locations.

JT: My music video for “Haunted by the Thought of You” was shot in the magnificent 1909 Masonic Lodge in San Francisco, full of secret crawlspaces, strange tiny doors, and painted backdrops of Hades.This is where the Freemasons held their mysterious rituals. There are some great secret symbols and codes hidden in the video.

(Shooting “Haunted by the Thought of You” in the devastatingly ornate 1909 Masonic Lodge)

EM: Dare I say, your work is very literate. Are you concerned that it might be too literate, so it’s bound to be marginalized?

JT: Industry executives have consistently told me over the years, “Your music is amazing, but it’s too elegant, too sophisticated, too dark, too poetic, too smart, too cinematic,…you need to dumb it down and sound like everyone else.” One A&R guy actually said to me: “Your music and aesthetic is the best, most original thing I’ve come across in years, it’s just that I’d lose my job if I signed you. But could you send about 10 more copies of your CD? Everyone in the office wants one. It’s all we’ve been listening to!” (I told him he was welcome to BUY them from my site.)

Another TV executive told me I could not use the words “books” or “history” in a series pitch. Another told me I could not use the term “noir” or “femme fatale” as no one knew what that meant! (“Use spooky and sexy.”) The entertainment industry doesn’t give audiences the credit they deserve. I’ve walked out of several meetings with famous companies.

EM: That took bravery, but sounds like you dodged a bullet.

JT: As a child I absolutely loved it when a song made me pull out the dictionary to look up a word. God, how many kids first heard about Nabokov by hearing the Police song “Don’t Stand So Close to Me?” People are hungry to be inspired, to heighten their awareness. I know it’s the same in the book world. You have crap selling millions, and there are wonderful, artistic novels that nobody hears about.

EM: Fifty Shades of Dung. For every literary talent that gets recognized, like Michael Chabon or Jonathan Franzen, there are thousands who never get published, let alone recognized. In that regard, the parallels between the music, art, and publishing businesses are identical. We’re all in the same boat. And frankly, I’ll bet Chabon and Franzen bitch about their sales, too.

JT: The only goal for the business is making money and moving units. It’s never had anything to do with how wonderful a piece of art is, or how unique.

EM: True, but it has gotten worse. Lots of the popular entertainment that’s come out of this culture was the best America had to offer. Music, movies, books that were wildly popular. Hemingway was a significant writer and a best-selling author. He wasn’t force-fed to the public. There used to be an overlap where what was valuable artistically also sold. Now that huge corporations dominate the culture, all they care about is making the numbers work for them. And the broadest common denominator is where they’re going to invest. Otherwise, good luck selling your book or song for 99¢ on the internet.

JT: It’s never been at a lower point in history. It’s mortifying.

EM: It’s intended to keep people in the dark, and uninformed. They make better consumers that way.

JT: Death by complacency. I don’t let it frustrate me like I used to. Now that the traditional industry is crumbling, I’m reimagining my path. There’s never been a more vital time for artists and fans to band together. We don’t have to play the old game anymore.

(Portrait of Jill Tracy by Audrey Penven)

EM: You’ve always celebrated the outlier approach. When you first started out, didn’t you mastermind your own show?

JT: Right. Jill Tracy’s Mysteria was an ongoing live series of not only my music and stories, but an entire dark carnival, with sword swallowers, contortionists, puppeteers and snake charmers—a complete sensory experience. This was around 1996-97. A dark variety show was practically unheard of at that time. I created Mysteria out of necessity because no club would book me. So I sold them the entire spectacle. Mysteria went on to packed houses, and an ardent following and press. I was nominated for 2 California Music Awards, SF Weekly Awards, Best of the Bay, 3 magazine covers.

So while the record companies were busy sending me rejection letters saying “there could not possibly be a market for my work,” I was busy making a living selling music on my website, charting on CD Baby’s Top-Sellers in piano pop, singer/songwriter, gothic, film score, neoclassical, acoustic, all simultaneously! (Laughs) The industry had no idea! I realized the system was broken way back then. I knew I couldn’t go in the front door, and not really the back door either … so I became intent on inventing TRAP doors.

EM: That’s great. I empathize with what you’re saying about stretching your boundaries, while staying true to yourself. You have to scout out those pockets of like-minded souls. That’s what we do with the NOIR CITY film festivals. The ones outside San Francisco aren’t jackpots, but we’re able to reach the exact audience that wants film noir on a big screen. But it’s no “mass market.” More and more these days, artists who want mainstream commercial success have to whore themselves for the corporation.

JT: Can there really a goal of “mainstream” success today for serious artists? If you’re trying to fit in with the crowd, pretty soon you will just become lost in it. You must not be afraid to own your niche. Embrace your strange. Major label album sales are at an all-time low. It can’t be just about vacuous pop culture and marketing to kids.

EM: When I was fifteen, I never wanted to listen to musicians who were my age.

JT: That’s so true. I’d hear Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix or Led Zeppelin, and it was this seductive, subversive thing. Everyone was older than you and you’re like, Wow, I can’t wait to experience the kind of life they’re singing about! That was the allure of that music. It represented what we aspired to, what we dreamed of. It was dangerous. That was the whole point. Today it’s all safe, homogenized and soulless. Created by corporations.

That’s why, sadly, art has less meaning in young people’s lives. When I was growing up, that’s how you bonded with someone. (Certainly if you were an outlier.) What bands do you listen to? What books are you reading? What are your favorite films?
Now, it’s what phone do you have? What apps? How many Facebook friends do you have?
Tech has become the barometer. It’s tragic.

JT: Everything has changed. It’s our lifeline. We’re able to bypass the old school commercial system and operate directly to fans. We did not have that choice before.
The hardest, but in the end, most liberating thing for me was to accept the fact that the childhood dream I once had—and struggled years to attain—simply doesn’t exist anymore. That is still a difficult revelation. But once I decided not to be held hostage by the old dream, the floodgates seemed to open.

EM: Do you resent how much effort it takes now to handle the business side, when what you want to be doing is creating art?

JT: Of course, but that’s the way it’s evolved. I’m running a business. I am the brand. I would much rather be focused on the creative. But there is a newfound freedom living this way, too. You learn to prioritize, delegate, and say no to things.

EM: With this ability to be connected all the time, is there a downside to the internet?

JT: I read an interesting study the other day talking about how if social media had been around in the last century, how many classic novels would actually have been written? Would many of the greats have merely sat around in cafes reading their Twitter feed?

EM: Imagine if all those great barroom writers were on Facebook instead of scrawling stuff into composition books.

JT: The Internet is a blessing and a curse. The ease and ability to obtain information and connect with anyone in the world is glorious. But at the same time it’s destroying our individuality. Everyone is getting their news/views from the same sources, not looking outside, or challenging themselves to think further. We’re trapped in a giant echo chamber.

There has never been a greater need to venture outside the cage, to seize our true passions and authenticity. To be an individual now takes a great deal of effort.
Sometimes I will post on Twitter—“No tweets today. Honoring the Mystery.”

EM: Your short film “The Fine Art of Poisoning” has become practically a cult classic, winning all sorts of awards and getting attention from the likes of Clive Barker and Guy Maddin. Any more film projects for you?

JT: I’m delighted and shocked when I hear from film school students who say “The Fine Art of Poisoning” was part of their curriculum! Animator Bill Domonkos is a genius. We went on to collaborate on NERVOUS96.
I’ve worked with the brilliant Jeremy Carr on 4 films now, including our new short “Portraits of a Nightmare” and well as his debut feature Other Madnesses, which has already won several awards. I’m eager to work on more films.

(Jill Tracy among the Hyrtl Skull Collection in the Mütter Museum, as featured in Penthouse. Photo by Evi Numen.)

EM: But my favorite part of all this is that you ended up in Penthouse…

JT: Ha! Yes, I can now say I have a spread in Penthouse. It was part of an interview about my work at the Mütter and my getting inspiration from the dark side of history. I was not nude, but way better—at a piano, in a black backless gown surrounded by 139 human skulls from Viennese anatomist Joseph Hyrtl’s 1874 collection. Who else could say that? My father even went to a newsstand to buy Penthouse that month —while my stepmother waited uncomfortably in the car. (Laughs)

“Jill Tracy is the Queen of taking her listeners into another universe”SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

“Jill Tracy is the first musician I found who sells the passion, the emotional turmoil and tremendous, tragic beauty which lies there, waiting to be uncovered, in the darkest corners of experience.” ZA RECORDS

I guess it’s a good sign when 2012 begins with such a flurry of dream projects, that I have had no time to devote to a year-end review until now. Stay tuned for news about my upcoming 2012 collaboration with Philadelphia’s legendary Mutter Museum and new recording for Swedish publishers Malört alongside Einstürzende Neubauten. Visit the NEWS page to get the latest updates.

2011 was such a tough, challenging, but charmed year–this new website did not go live until September—so I wanted to make sure to feature the highlights for you here.

Of course, January means the famed Edwardian Ball, clearly the most lavish and fantastical event of the year–a costumed spectacle in honor of the late great raccoon-coated scribe Edward Gorey. For the last decade, I have had the honor to be hailed “Belle of the Ball” and perform in concert each year. The above photo is my favorite 2011 Edwardian Ball shot by Samuel Coniglio. Custom adorned top hat by the marvelous House of Nines Design.

At the Los Angeles Ball, I welcomed special guests: renowned theremin player Armen Ra(fresh from the Grinderman tour) and Coilhouse mastermind/ Parlour Trick violinist Meredith Yayanos.

I released “Under the Fate of the Blue Moon,” a waltz to make wishes come true–a dreamily enchanting piece I composed on the rare Blue Moon New Year and recorded the night of the total Lunar Eclipse Solstice Dec 20, 2010. I released the work as a free download. It’s my online wishing well. Make a wish, leave an offering.

BENEATH: The Bittersweet Constrain was a glorious accidental release. After several Hollywood music supervisors asked me for an instrumental version of “Haunted by the Thought of You,” I met with producer Alex Nahas in New York City to remix the tune. We both became more and more intrigued, as the absence of vocals invited many of the previously unused or little-heard tracks: strings, woodwinds, Chapman Stick, sarod, harmonium and others. I’m thrilled when people tell me they write or work to my music, and this is certainly a perfect soundscape, a dark, gorgeous portal. Brilliant cover shot by Michael Garlington.

In February, I joined host Chloe Veltman live on KALW, San Francisco public radio/NPR affiliate 91.7 FM as guest of the hour-long “Voice Box” program. The theme of the show was “singers who accompany themselves on the piano,” and it gave me a wonderful chance to discuss the variations, challenges– and funny stories that come with the territory. Listen to an archive of the show online HERE.

San Francisco mobbed famed City Lights Books for my murderous musical set with none other than the infamous Lemony Snickethimself (aka Daniel Handler) on accordion. This photo was taken by Audrey Penven post-show.

With a mutual fondness for gin and creepy things, we were quite the effortless diabolical duo– reworking the rarely-heard 1933 Robert Desnos/Kurt Weill song “La Complainte de Fantômas!” Complete with its original 26 gruesome verses! This was the grand kick-off to San Francisco’s Fantômas 100th anniversary festival celebrating the dashing French literary arch-criminal. I’m delighted to say our duet was named one of the “Best Live Shows of 2011.”

New York Times best-selling author Melissa Marr named “Sell My Soul“ as the official song for her novel Graveminder. Marr says she listened to the tune on endless repeat for inspiration, especially while creating scenes in the Land of the Dead. I will be forever immortalized as the sultry singer in Mr. D’s Tip Top Tavern, alluring nightspot of the unliving. Marr also listed “Haunted by the Thought of You” in the playlist for her “Wicked Lovely” series.

My music is also on the official playlist for Cat Winter’sIn the Shadow of Blackbirds, a YA novel centering around Victorian spiritualism.

I was a celebrity speller for Small Press Distribution‘s annual Bee In, hosted by West Coast Live’s Sedge Thompson. I went down on the word “abscess” befittingly enough. It’s always the tricky little words that get you.

After touring with the iconic David J (Bauhaus/Love and Rockets), he became so enamored of my dark post-classical piano interpretation of Bauhaus’ classic “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” that he took us into the studio to record it. You’ll hear more about the project later in 2012. Featuring my drummer Randy Odell and bassist Kenny Annis, plus strings player Ysanne Spevack (Smashing Pumpkins.) Talk about a goth girl’s fantasy come true. Oh, and I also spent my 2011 birthday with Peter Murphy!)

A wondrous shot of me with David J, shooting green screen on the set of the music video of the David J. +Shok collaboration “Tidal Wave of Blood.” I sing back-up vocals.

My favorite photoshoot of the year by far was one done with next to no prep, stealth, late at night, sneaking into the dark, ornate stairwell of a downtown office building. Photographer Audrey Penven and I wanted to play with shadow. I loved the idea of incorporating lace textures, perhaps shoot through lace. She had the incredible idea to project actual lace onto the entire shot.

One of Audrey’s Lace Shadows portraits became the landing page for my new website which I was ecstatic to finally launch in 2011!!
The site backgrounds were created by visual FX artist and friend Robert Rossello. (You remember his gorgeous artwork for Diabolical Streak!) We collected and created imagery–all from my personal collection– Even the textures like feathers, fur, old medical perscriptions, antique charts of constellations, opium poppies, apothecary bottles, my talismans– were all individually crafted.

2011 was my first year officially working with the San Francisco Silent Film Festival. I did a myriad of things–from scoring several film shorts and performing live for their press conference, to moderating the panel “Variations on a Theme,” discussing the craft of scoring silent films with some of the best in the business. The photo above by San Francisco’s Examiner’s Omar Moore shows me introducing F. W. Murnau’s epic Sunrise.

The most thrilling part of the SF Silent Film Festival was finally getting to collaborate with the wonderful UK pianist Stephen Horne. I got a late night email from him days before the festival saying he envisioned my voice as part of his score to the sultry 1915 femme fatale shocker Il Fuoco. We literally put the score together in a matter of 2 days. I was so proud and inspired by the work. Absolutely riveting. The press agreed:

“The score by Stephen Horne and Jill Tracy…is like an Ennio Morricone score for a giallo: erotic, threatening, haunting, the siren call of a sexual predator who devours and abandons her prey. A perfect evocation of the drama playing out onscreen.”SLANT Magazine

“Dark sexuality…The musical accompaniment fit the film quite well; Stephen Horne was at it again, doing what he does best. With him, though, was Jill Tracy, adding a vocal splash of eroticism as Menichelli’s theme, which was utterly poignant and fit perfectly, especially when her throaty voice continued to echo in the main character’s mind in the end.”FILMBALAYA

Ahhh, the sheer delight on my face as I reveal seductive tales about the deadly mandrake root! Within a garden of poisonous plants no less! (Photo by Julie Michelle)

The dark side of the Garden came to deadly bloom in October at the historical San Francisco Conservatory of Flowersas I teamed up with Wicked Plants author Amy Stewart and produced a perilous event within the exhibit. We called it appropriately enough “The Fine Art of Poisoning: Perils, Pleasures and Protocols.” The beautiful white glass Victorian dome is a sight to behold in the dark, so I wanted to give the public a chance to explore it at night, under my guise.

After hours in the Conservatory of Flowers with Wicked Plants author Amy Stewartand a giant tarantula. This event was such a success that the Conservatory and I are in meetings to create an ongoing night series together!

When producer/writer/filmmaker Jordan Stratford invited me to perform at Victoria British Columbia’s Craigdarroch Castle as part of his great Victoria Steam Expo, it fulfilled a wish I made when I first visited. This was an ideal location for my “spontaneous musical combustion”– composing works on the spot in front of the audience, manifesting the musical spirit within the location itself. Every place has a story, every object holds music. My job is to be the gatekeeper, and open the portal.

Nothing on Craigdarroch Castle’sofficial website will tell you it’s haunted. The 1890 treasure is simply hailed “Victoria, British Columbia’s legendary landmark.” It’s when you begin talking to the locals– and even people who work within its lavish walls– that you begin to hear secret tales of its 39 rooms, 87 steps, 4 floors, 18 fireplaces, tower, and tormented past. I wanted to immerse myself within its surrounding and bring it to life.

I encountered a wonderfully strange bond with this antique Steinway in the front parlour. The staff at the castle said this piano never gets played. I spent most of my time at it, it seemed to have the most to say. Please indulge in the Blog post “Antique Steinway, Haunted Castle and a Long-Lost Love” to hear my account of this Victorian conjuring. (Photo by Maggie Binnie O’Scalleigh)

There were many memorable shows in 2011, including a double bill and collaboration onstage with Tuvan throat singer Soriah. In this photo by John Adams, I’m speaking to the crowd at a moving benefit for friend and fellow performer kSea Flux.

Sacramento Horror Film Festival presented an evening called “The Elegant Dark with Jill Tracy,” where I not only performed a concert, but shared my stories, short films, and Q&A with the audience. I was really inspired by the opportunity to present my various passions and mediums all together, and plan to do more full sensory shows like this.

I was honored to pen the forward for Maria Alexander’s decadent and deadly collection of absinthe-inspired verse At Louche Ends(Burning Effigy Press) recalling my days performing in the then-illegal emerald underworld. NYC artist Katelan Foisy’s gorgeous painting adorns the cover. An intoxicating dose of words and visuals from three powerful women.

NPR’s beloved long-running radio show Hearts of Space devoted an entire program to my music to celebrate the October season. Haunted– a Jill Tracy Conjurationaired on over 200 NPR stations, celebrating my instrumentals, film score work, and haunting, ambient songs. I was astonished and delighted as they rarely devote an entire show to one artist. Thank you Stephen Hill and everyone at HOS! They tell me the show got a tremendous response. Click on the link to hear the archive. It’s Program 961.

As a lyricist and songwriter, Jill Tracy plies the literary currents popularized by Edgar Allen Poe, Bram Stoker, Edward Gorey and other 19th and 20th century storytellers of the netherworld: spinners of tales of the mysterious, the strange, and the macabre.

Her sound begins with an unadorned dark cabaret trio of contrabass, drums and parlor piano; it expands on recordings into the Malcontent Orchestra violin, viola, cello, and low woodwinds, plus guitar, Chapman stick, electric bass, harmonium and the odd sarod. She calls it “post-Classical Noir” and glams, goths and Dark Romantics of all ages love her with a crimson passion.” NPR’s Hearts of Space

Nothing on Craigdarroch Castle’sofficial website will tell you it’s haunted. The 1890 treasure is simply hailed “Victoria, British Columbia’s legendary landmark.” It’s when you begin talking to the locals– and even people who work within its lavish walls– that you begin to hear secret tales of its 39 rooms, 87 steps, 4 floors, 18 fireplaces, tower, and tormented past.

In short, the castle was built for coal baron Robert Dunsmuir as an outrageous momument to his wealth, but he died shortly before building was completed. The architect, Warren Heywood Williams, who called Craigdarroch his masterpiece, also mysteriously died before the castle was finished. The widow Joan Dunsmuir lived there with her sons in a turbulent state. And in 1917, the structure was turned into a military hospital. There are tales of ghostly piano music along with the sudden smell of candle wax, apparitions of children and soldiers, icy drafts blanketing the stairways. (I remember visiting the castle several years ago as a tourist, and one woman refused to go up the steps in a certain area of the castle, sensing a strange presence around her.)

When producer/writer/filmmaker Jordan Stratford invited me to perform at the castle last month as part of his great Victoria Steam Expo, it fulfilled a wish I made when I first visited. This was an ideal location for my “spontaneous musical combustion”— composing works on the spot in front of the audience, manifesting the musical spirit within the location itself. Every place has a story, every object holds music. My job is to be the gatekeeper, and open the portal.

I talked with the compelling historian/speaker Chris Adams at the Expo’s opening night absinthe party. His family operates the long-running Victoria “Ghostly Walks“ tour. Later, I curled up in bed at Hotel Rialto skimming ghostlore and history books.

As always, when I channel music in unusual locales, I begin to familiarize myself with the back story. But, that’s the trick. I don’t want to know TOO much, just enough to whet my intrigue, and share stories with the audience– but NOT so much that I formulate ideas or draw conclusions. “Preparation” would ruin it. My actions must be genuine, immediate. I want to honor the fragility of time, emotion, and find the music hiding within that moment. I just immerse myself into it, I don’t question it. If you purposely go looking for it, analyzing it, and beckoning it, you’ve lost it forever.

That rule applies for many things in life…

I was drawn to one particular Steinway grand in the front parlour. I played other pianos in the castle, but I kept coming back to this one. I knew it. It was familiar. I saw Facebook posts the next day that said it felt like I had been “reacquainted with a long-lost lover, and there was a sense of almost voyeurism from those who watched me.”

I could feel the piano ecstatic to be played again–even the castle staff commented on an odd sense of elation in that room. It made me sad when they told me this piano is never played, and I vowed to give it the attention it needed. At one point during my set, unbeknownst to me, a small red lamp on a table behind me dimmed, and came back on several times. Two psychics in the crowd said they felt the presence of a woman sitting in a chair to my left.

Due to popular demand, I returned Sunday for performances throughout the afternoon. And in the end, I hated having to leave that Steinway– and Victoria.

My goal with “spontaneous musical combustion” (and Musical Seances with Paul Mercer) is not to communicate with the dead, as that is not what I do. If spirit energy makes itself present, as it sometimes does in these shows, that’s lovely. I believe music transcends realms and worlds beyond the flesh. Perhaps that’s why they call it the “spirit of the music.” I’m capturing the combined energy of our moment together in this place–scoring it– a piece of music that will exist for that moment only and then completely vanish. Nothing exactly like it can ever exist again. The fragile essence of Time. The marvel of being alive.

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From the Press:

“With a gaggle of acclaim already encircling her, there is little left to say about the gothic cabaret tour de force that is musician Jill Tracy. A darling of the critics and her peers (Lydia Lunch herself has bestowed glittering praise on Tracy.) Playing the dual roles of self-assured vixen and enigmatic storyteller, Tracy has seduced an army of followers with compositions detailing torture, revenge, poison and the blindsided nature of love, all delivered by her intoxicating voice.” -BARCELONA CITY GUIDE (Spain)