Wednesday, July 28, 2010

So we have come to the end of our time as a family at our current duty station and are moving on so we will be home when husband returns. It is only appropriate that I am leaving the home by myself as I moved into the house the same way 4 years ago. We loved that home - we learned what a marriage is there, we grew there literally and figuratively, all 3 of our beautiful boys came home there, friendships grew there, and will always hold a special place in our heart.

This is particularly difficult for me as I do not do change well, ironic huh? But I am looking forward to this new chapter in our life...it will be a great new adventure for us to undertake. But before I can get through this adventure, I must first survive TMO, the movers, packing, and adjusting...

How do you all handle your moves? I am sure that after this all, I will have some great advice of what to do and what not to do!! I will be certain that I will never want to do this without husband here again!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

An update on Husband....all is well with him. He has a class II concussion, thanks to Google, I know am completely informed and have sent him several emails on how to heal - just time and sleep! He should be back with his guys next week....thank goodness!!!

Of course with good news comes what we will refer to as the "Profit of Doom" friends. These are the friends that when you are happy, they have to try to negate your happiness. This particular couple, the Dooms, managed to tell everyone about husband's "injury"...I use the quotes because compared to a lot of these brave men and women what he experienced was just a setback. So anyhow a week ago Friday I start getting phone calls from a few wives of our friends and I knew why they were calling without them actually asking. They haven't called in a while, ask if I've heard from Jimmy...during which I have to recount the last week.

Then Saturday we had dinner with the Dooms in which I was told that what happened to husband was a lot worse than I thought. And that Headquarters Marine Corps never should have called me, and if he doesn't get better he is going home...I am assured that they will get to the bottom of this. Here's the thing - despite the fact that I know they are coming from somewhere good and think they are helping however a- telling me he is worse that I thought...NOT HELPING!! and b - if there are problems or people are talking about me or Husband I want it to be because of something that we did, not because people are searching or looking or being noisy!!!

I am sure that we all have our own Doom family - it is almost as if they thrive off of your unhappiness. But I am happy to say that Husband is lucky to be alive today and he is safe and he will be with his Marines. So for once this year things have gone according to plan and I am so blessed to have him to call me another day!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Husband was offered this job with his command by his CO in the back of our church, which modified our orders by 7 months to the right. Baby was a super stealth baby...we didn't know he was coming until I was 24 weeks along (I hang my head in shame, but I did go to the Dr several times, who told me to lose weight of all things!), Ring Leader broke his leg a week before Husband's departure, Stinky Boy refuses to speak, he is at a 12 month range...

This has been my year so far. Nothing, and I mean nothing has gone according to plan. So why would I ever imagine that in this maddness back in the States that I am doing do I think Husband's deployment would go to plan. And by plan I mean he has to follow my rules - no purple hearts and no awards with the statement that reads "without regard to his personal safety" (we already have that...no thank you!!)

So here is how we went off path...they were on a mission or whatever, didn't hear from him, but like a good Marine wife "no news is good news!" so Friday he calls me and we have a short conversation. He is good, dirty, smoking again (bad Husband!), hungry...but good. And it is so great to hear his voice. Saturday morning we are having a PCS yardsale and he calls again (woo-hoo!!) There is a hesitation in his voice and he tells me he got "his rocks knocked" but he is okay. While the details are not exactly there, he was near a bomb of some sort, which then exploded about 10 feet from him. We talk about how he feels, fine by the way, decide that sleep will heal him and that's that. On Monday he calls me after being forced to the Corpsman - grade II concussion, sleep will heal him. He went today to be rechecked and is off to get a CAT Scan because he isn't healing like he should.

I do not exactly know if he is getting a Purple Heart and I do not want him to have one. I do know that I got a phone call from a SSgt today telling me about his injury, which is not what I wanted to hear, but thankfully the Marine Corps is taking care of the wives and families back here to keep us informed. I do know that Husband was not supposed to get hurt - I know that he brought 44 Marines and a Corpsman with him and all 46 of them better come back in 1 piece. I also know that I do not want to see my husband without all 45 of those men...I do know that I want my husband to finish the deployment with his Marines. Not because I don't want to see him - I would love to have him here right now. But if he is here before them than something is seriously wrong and that just isn't part of our plan.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I have completely lost my mind...well not my mind so to speak but my memory about this blog is out the window. As I am making breakfast, changing diapers, doing laundry I can seem to write the perfect blog post...it is done from the title to my closing...and then I go back to changing diapers (Huggies is going to miss our household!!), laundry, feeding, get everyone to sleep...and the post is long gone by the time the computer turns on. UUGGGHHHH....

But to combat this I've sectioned off part of my PCS notebook, yes I have a PCS notebook for all my lists, for my blog posts! I've only posted a few times, but I miss this. This is a little escape for me where it doesn't all have to be perfect and great and okay!

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Ring Leader says the best things. He can make me smile even when they have run me over with a 10-ton truck! A lot of it he picks up from me and examples of that are:We have discussed this beforeUse your words, not your handsIs it necessary to ....?I am losing my patience

Somethings he comes up with on his own...here are some of his best from this week...I had sprayed some of Husband's cologne on his blanket, he walks into our room and says, "Wow, I can smell Daddy from far, far away!"

My babysitter was asking what color Baby's eyes are, I responded "brown, all the boys eyes are brown." This was the response we received, "yup we all have brown eyes and penises." Not only is he observant, but also provides anatomy lessons.

And not only does he absorb everything he hears and repeats it, comes up with hus own sayings, he also knows how to flatter the ladies. He is forever telling me how pretty I am or how nice I look generally it is when he is being scolded. Today we were taking a walk and were playing I Spy, when he said, "I spy with my little eye something skinny. It's you Mama." What a way to get to stay up a little late!

Monday, June 7, 2010

What a past couple of weeks I have had. Had all appointments for Baby of course TriCare was awesome and sent us up to Orange for his test and then down to San Diego to see the Urologist. The problem is worse than we thought, but nothing they can do for the next year. Thankfully Husband will be home at that point, so it will be awesome to have him around. Fingers crossed and prayers that this resolves itself within the year...no point in worrying about it right now. All that I can do it give him his penicillin every night.

I have reopened my daycare for one of my daycare kids...he is the sweetest thing, but not having that flexibility in my schedule really adds a bit of stress to my plate...aagghhh...

Trying to plan the move. Husband is stationed at 29 Palms; we live on Camp Pendleton and will move over the summer so we are settled when he gets home. Long story...he had his orderes modified to deploy with his current unit after speaking with the Battalion CO, checked in right after Christmas and was deployed shortly after. Since I was 8 months pregnant when we deployed we decided to stay at Camp Pendleton for some time. This is awesomeness to the 10th degree. For starters there is no one on 29 Palms that you are able to get in touch with....EVER!!!!! I am just trying to reach a few people and it is near impossible. Thankfully the majority of the move is taken care of on this end and everything else I need done, I'll just figure it out!

And the most challenging of all is my own boys as cute as they are! The Ring Leader is testing his boundaries and how little sleep he can survive on! He certainly makes the days interesting...and challenging. He needs that father figure in the house to reign him in because he knows that he can wear me down! So we are on a tight rope navigating our way across. By the time Husband gets home we will have it down pat!

Stinky Boy turns 2 today....what a ride it has been! He is also acting out in his own way...starting to hit, yell, and no is his new favorite word. His need for independence is great right now, so we will get this the best we can! And Baby is as sweet as can be...just wants to cry and get some undivided attention all during bedtime for the other 2 boys.

Here is where we are...counting down the days until the deployment is over...too many right now, but we are checking them off one by one. Just need to remember to breath and take it one moment at a time.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

...that Husband was home. Generally this is something that I wish for everyday...but tomorrow I really want him here! Or my Mom...I'll take either!

Tomorrow Baby has to get a VCUG - Voiding Cystourethrogram - An x-ray of the abdomen may be performed before the urinary bladder is catheterized. After cleaning the genital area a catheter is inserted through the urethra, the tube that carries urine from the bladder out of the body, into the bladder. Then, the bladder is filled with a water-soluble contrast material. The radiologist or technologist will use fluoroscopy to monitor the filling of the bladder and urination. X-rays will be obtained during the monitoring. After the x-rays are checked, the catheter is removed.

It really is a simple procedure - I know that there are those that have to go through so much worse...but this is MY baby and I know that he is going to cry, scream, be uncomfortable...and regardless of the severity of the situation it is something that is difficult for any parent to experience. Then Thursday we get to head in the opposite direction to talk to the Urologist.

Like I said...not a big deal but I just miss him and want him here with me. I swear I am usually funny and sarcastic...hard when you have RSVP'd yes to a pity party for one. but I think the party is wrapping up!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Husband has been gone a little over a month. Baby has been here for 3 weeks. We were starting to hit our stride, really get into a grove with me, myself, and I manning the reigns! And if I can say so myself, I was doing a good job. Yes, I had my hard days when I just wanted to ignore everyone, when the boys and I could not see eye to eye on anything...but besides my hair looking awful, desperately needing my eyebrows waxed, pedicure cleaned up and looking tired I managed to put a smile on when we left our four protective walls.

Then I lost my escape...the television, access to the ridiculous sitcoms, the dramas, the reality TV shows...how I miss you all!! It didn't really bother me to not have it for the boys. I feel like I was actually starting to use it too much to distract them, especially when I was tired. And by not having the TV has allowed me to get some reading done, get some writing done, look up useless information online(if anyone wants to know the compatibility of my family in regards to the Chinese Animal Calendar...I can let you know!) The downside to not having TV is at night also, it allows me to be alone with my thoughts and my fears...not having my escape there anymore. Instead of vegging out in front of the boob tube I need something to eat up the minutes that make up the night, until the next feeding, or the other boys cry. It makes the house painfully quiet and lonely, acting as a constant reminder that Husband is on his "vacation" putting the world at my fingertips and letting Google take the lead, which is never good. During this week without TV I have found maps, articles, interviews that I probably never would have, blogs from Gold Star Wives - just various aspects of life that make me face the reality and seriousness of the job that Husband does. Without the TV to take the reality out of our world for a brief time, we are forced to deal with our own reality...which isn't always as good as what TV has to offer.

As a lifesaver my TV repairman will be here by Thursday (hopefully!!). My goal is not to resort to the television as quickly once it is repaired...but when reality starts to set in, I will chose the reality of the Real Housewives of New Jersey over mine!

In my six years as a military wife, I can honestly say that the communication and guidance that the military provides to the spouses has improved...drastically!!! There is more of a interest in caring for the families. Long gone are the days of the Key Wives (the KV), which consisted entirely of volunteers some who helped out from the goodness of their hearts and others who helped out for the gossip be it about the Marines themselves or the families that remained behind. Husband decribed the KV as the Key Wives Mafia. I cannot state that this is true or not because I kept to myself during that time, but I certainly heard stories from someone that knew someone that knew someone...judge for yourself!

The Marine Corps then transitioned to the Family Readiness Officer (the FRO). This is a payed position, generally a retired Marine or military spouse. They are basically there to answer any questions that arises, plan events while the Unit is gone, act as the liaison to the family while the guys (Husband is a grunt so he works only with guys!) are out doing their jobs. Essentially both the KV and the FRO do the same thing with 2 major differences - 1. The FRO gets paid and hopefully recognition for the job they do. The KV just got a bad rep. 2. The FRO is not directly affiliated with a the Unit, i.e. her hubby cannot work in the unit that she works for

Regardless of what the job is, be it a volunteer or a paid position I think that during the deployments it is essential that we look outside our own situations and think of all parties involved and thank them - even if you think you have the hardest job...because we all do at certain times!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

...a lot of things I will probably never be....a lot of things I will try to be....a lot of things I will fail to be.

The best I can do is improve upon who I was yesterday, accept my shortcomings and flaws, and put my best foot forward everyday.

This deployment has made my shortcomings and flaws as a parent painfully obvious to me. It's also allowed me to see a different side to our children. I am able to see how sensitive and observant the Ring Leader is; I've always known that he is so sweet and intune with his feelings, but he can articulate how he is feeling, what he wants to do, what frustrates him. I am able to see how loving Stinky is; he really does have the sweetest, kindest soul and despite not even being 2 years old is able to give affection at the perfect time....he can also throw a temper tantrum at the most inopportune time! I am able to see my shortcomings and how I need to improve as a parent, and in all honesty how hard it is to give them that father figure they need. I really hate "go time" which is when the boys get on the ground a just wrestle. I have no desire to be jumped on or punched, I could lie and come up with some nonsense, but at the end of the day, I just don't like it...that is Husband's job!

So we have had one month down in the deployment...I can either continue on the path I am on, during which we will all survive. It won't be awful however at the same time, it won't be great. Or I can do the best I can for these boys and give them everything I help them turn into the best infant, toddler, and preschooler they can be. And also take time for myself, so I don't burn out or get overwhelmed during it all. We will see how it goes...it is my resolve to do the latter, so I can improve upon myself as a mother and a wife.

I begin this self-improvement by finishing cleaning up and putting out the chocolate croissants for breakfast tomorrow...I said I was becoming a better person, not a better eater!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

This is not the first blog I have started...this probably won't be the last. But I have started this separate from my "family" blogs...something to chronicle my life a military wife, raising my military brats and all the trials and tribulations that go along with it. The blog name comes from a quote that I have in the living room..."Enjoy the little things in life for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."

I have been married to my Marine for the past 6 years...we are on our 3rd deployment since we got married. Obviously I love the man with all that I have otherwise I would have jumped ship a long time ago!! This life never gets any easier or harder, just the situations surrounding our life bring different challenges. We have 3 sons, obviously to prevent future humiliation I will not be using their real names - the Ring Leader, who is 3; Stinky Man who will be 2 in a few weeks and can get dirty 30 seconds after getting out of the bath tub; and Baby who is just 2 weeks old.

As I start this blog we are knee deep in a time of our military life that many cannot understand. My husband is deployed, with 3 sons under the age of 4. We are getting ready to move in August to a little piece of heaven in the low desert for CA also known as 29 Palms, before Husband gets home. My family thinks I am crazy to do this alone...hell most of my friends think I am crazy to take on this move alone - but I cannot have husband living and working 2 1/2 hours away from us, stealing moments when we can, we need to have him with us, so he can enjoy the good times and be tortured with me when the children stage a uprising! The children out number me, and quite frankly are smarter than me and are going to realize this in the near future - which makes his presence mandatory. There are strength in numbers!

So here we are getting ready to leave sunny Southern CA, trying to navigate our first deployment which children and this will chronicle the ups and downs we have along the way!

About Me

A SAHM to 3 crazy boys...who along with their Daddy are the loves of my life. I have been with Husband for 11 years, married for 6 - although I would never have picked this life for myself, I wouldn't trade it for anything.