With my Bodysex retreat less than a week away, it’s common to see jars of lube cooling off on my counter beside a pot of home made chicken stock and a cutting board of shredded zucchini. Even though there is a lot of work that goes into planning and preparing for the retreat, I enjoy thinking of each of the women coming and wondering what they’re hoping to get from the weekend.

“Mama why are you making all those creams?” asks my 7 year old while her 13 year old sister looks on.

“Because it’s my gift to each of the women who come to my retreat. I think people feel nice knowing someone made something for them.”

Nodding she goes back to watching her 17 year old sister practice different ways to apply make up.

“And what are all of these chairs for? They look so nice” she says as she sits down on one and proceeds to drive it around the room.

“These chairs are what we sit on at the retreat. It’s important that everyone feels comfortable in the circle.”

“They are comfy” she says as she drives one over to the bathroom to brush her teeth and I start to sew a tear in the seam of one of the chairs.

Ready for bed she sees the blue lights glowing from the vibrators charging in the darkened dining room.

“What are those for?” she asks.

“Those are massagers for each of the women to have, and take home from the retreat.”

Nodding like it’s the most normal thing in the world she says “You make it nice for them mama.”

Tucking her in she stands up on my bed and reminds me that “we have to do a real hug, not a half one.” So we hug, chest together, heads on each other’s shoulders, both of our arms around each other. I tuck her into my bed under the quilt made by one of my Bodysex sisters. Heading back into the living room to mend the chairs, I marvel at the ordinariness of my extra-ordinary life.

My lover is my best friend — absolutely dependable and always shows up. My lover sees me exactly as I am — flaws, strengths and everything in between — and mirrors these things back to me. My lover enjoys touching my whole body and knows that every single part of me can feel erotic. My lover pays attention to both obvious and subtle things. How my breath changes in response to a certain touch, the movement of my hips, the heat rising up my neck. My lover knows that pleasure can be felt through each of my senses and reminds me to experience pleasure throughout the day. …….The feel of blackberries on my tongue. The smell of sun sweat. The sound of leaves clicking together in the wind. The flow of the river. The taste of a fresh peach. That’s our foreplay. My lover likes the smoothness of my skin when I shave and the softness of my pubic hair when I don’t.My lover is more turned on by my natural scent than any product I could ever wear. My scent just makes me more me.My lover always wants to have sex when I do, and doesn’t when I don’t. My lover could spend all day in bed with me and never get bored.My lover brings me to orgasm over and over when I’m bleeding, knowing that it helps me feel better and gets the blood flowing faster. My lover doesn’t feel bad when I want to cum quickly or when I want to edge my pleasure for hours.My lover knows it’s much more than “just masturbation.” My lover is me.