5.31.2014

5.25.2014

In the more than twenty-five years since she co-founded Omega Institute -
now the world's largest center for spiritual retreat and personal
growth -Elizabeth Lesser has been an intimate witness to the ways in
which people weather change and transition. In a beautifully crafted
blend of moving stories, humorous insights, practical guidance, and
personal memoir, she offers tools to help us make the choice we all face
in times of challenge: Will we be broken down and defeated, or broken
open and transformed? Lesser shares tales of ordinary people who have
risen from the ashes of illness, divorce, loss of a job or a loved one -
stronger, wiser, and more in touch with their purpose and passion. And
she draws on the world's great spiritual and psychological traditions
to support us as we too learn to break open and blossom into who we were
meant to be.

Adapted from “Last Child in the Woods.”Especially during summer, parents hear the moaning complaint: “I’m borrrred.” Boredom is fear’s dull cousin. Passive, full of excuses, it can keep children from nature — or drive them to it.In summers past (at least through the fog of memory), children were
more likely to be pulled or forced out of their boredom. In the late,
hot afternoon, the Mickey Mouse Club might have been enough to pull you
in from outside, but most of the day’s TV offered nothing except soaps
and quiz games and an occasional cowboy movie — which made you want to
leap up and head outside.“Well, times have changed,” said Tina Kafka, a teacher and mother of three, when I interviewed her for Last Child in the Woods.
“Don’t wax too nostalgic,” she advised. “Even if kids have all the
unstructured time in the world, they’re probably not outside playing.
They’re inside with their video games.”She recognized how, in her own memories of childhood,
carefully-planned activities pale in comparison to more spontaneous
experiences. Like many parents, she wanted to make sure her own kids
have such memories. But how? Here are a few suggestions.• Recognize that boredom isn’t necessarily a negative. There’s
a big difference between a negatively numbed brain and a constructively
bored mind. Constructive boredom stimulates creativity. Constructively
bored kids eventually turn to a book, or build a fort, or pull out the
paints (or the computer art program) and create, or come home sweaty
from a game of neighborhood basketball.• Encourage outdoor play, especially in natural settings. Research
shows that when children play in natural play spaces, they’re far more
likely to invent their own games, than in more structured settings — a
key factor in becoming self-directed and inventive as children and later
in life.Research shows that when children play in natural play spaces,
they’re far more likely to invent their own games, than in more
structured settings — a key factor in becoming self-directed and
inventive as children and later in life.

5.14.2014

The single most important skill in life is learning to control one's anger. research shows that the common characteristic for incarcerated males is not drug addiction or a violent childhood.

It is lack of impulse control.

5.11.2014

Rotten bananas aren't all bad!What do you see?

My Giant Sunflowers

5.09.2014

Like addicts of all stripes, compulsive masturbators engage in their
addiction not to feel better, but to gain a sense of control over what
they are feeling. For them, masturbation is a coping mechanism utilized
less for self-pleasure and more for escape, self-soothing, and emotional
distraction. In other words, compulsive masturbation is a way to avoid
the emotional and/or psychological discomfort caused by life stressors
and underlying issues like depression, anxiety, and unresolved childhood
abuse, neglect, and trauma.

Most often compulsive masturbators learn in
adolescence (though sometimes earlier or later) how to use/abuse the
intensity of sexual arousal and masturbation to mask and distract from
emotional discomfort. Over time, especially in a “chronic stress”
household (a house with ongoing substance abuse, neglect, mental
illness, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.), a person can learn to use
masturbation as his or her go-to “coping response,” an escapist answer
to any and every form of pain and discomfort, including issues as
seemingly benign as boredom or loneliness.

5.07.2014

Book Recommendation for the WeekOur "thirty-is-the-new-twenty" culture tells us the twentysomething
years don't matter. Some say they are a second adolescence. Others call
them an emerging adulthood. Dr. Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, argues
that twentysomethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and
misinformation, much of which has trivialized what is actually the most
defining decade of adulthood.