The Good, The Bad, & Fear

I’ve had a hard time justifying blogging about my new blonde hair, the DIY cactus pots in my apartment, or my weekend photography because all of that would be a pretty fake façade to the last several weeks.

Some good. Some bad. And some fear.

I’m not going to pretend like I have life figured out. How could I? I'm 24. And lately, it seems like I can’t get enough life advice on the following:

How do I handle this?

Will it feel like this forever (good & bad)?

What does this mean for my future?

And even as I type these words, fear creeps into my hands because I want to appease my enemy (everyone has one). Someone who has admitted it is their mission to defame my character and name. And that’s pretty unsettling…

I am a firm believer that people do things purely because they believe they are right. And contrary to popular belief, I don’t think people actively try to be evil… not even our enemies.

And the same goes for me.

But sometimes, the little devil on our shoulder can get the best of us… and even still, I believe people react in ways they feel are justified(good or bad).

I am in no way, shape, or form a product of perfect actions. I have made mistakes, been put in situations I wish would have never happened to me, and I too had to make the best decisions I could to get to this point in my life.

A point which I am damn proud of!

So often, we like to take a mental picture of someone at a specific point in their life (often times the worst), and we use that image as their "forever profile picture."

We have to be better than that.

Because not only is that not fair, it’s not true… and we are doing a disservice to those around us by not at least attempting to continue to collect new images of the people we encounter.

Three weeks ago, I sat in my car literally paralyzed by the fear that I would live with someone constantly trying to spit in my face no matter how hard I worked. Their ugly words did what they were intended to do.

I prayed. I cried. I wondered, “WHY!?”

Eventually (and with much mental resistance), I knew I had to start my car and move. I had to keep going, even if I didn’t have the immediate answers to… How do I handle this? Will it feel like this forever? What does this mean for my future?

And I know you’re probably thinking… 'so far, there is a lot of bad and a lot of fear in this post. Where is the good?'

The good news is... life has continued on the way life does! Time does its thing... and with the bad always comes the good.

I can happily say the past week has been something worth smiling about, because I've gained understanding. And even if tomorrow is a total piece of sh*t, I'm a little wiser because of it all.

Look, I'm not under the impression that everyone is supposed to love me.But I can be sure I will show love to others.

Let's show our enemies, haters, bullies, whatever you want to call them... love. Because ultimately they're just like us... they just happen to be particularly upset about something that we can't change for them.

All we can do is genuinely wish them peace of heart and happiness (and you really have to mean it).

Because if I know one thing about this life... it's that it is impossible to benefit your life by hating another person.