ALSO: TODAY IS ERIN’S BIRTHDAY! (See that neon there, Erin? That’s totally for you.) She deserves many excellent birthday wishes, and lots of hot chocolate to be consumed while wearing fuzzy neon pyjamas.

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Alternate title: I really fucking love colour.

Perhaps this post should come with a language warning…?

I love colour. I do. If you asked me how I wear colour, I’d say I wear it all.* All of it. Just… not all at once. Generally. Mostly. I haven’t met a colour I don’t like (yes, even dusty rose). I know there are tons of resources out there for determining what colour looks good on you, what colours to put together, and how to look your best by slathering your body in muted shades of “winter” or “summer” or “those boring neutral palettes that we consign to plus size racks, aka shades of black and more black”. This is not one of those resources. I am not going to tell you to figure out what colour looks best on you.

I am going to tell you to wear whatever colour makes you happy.

I went years thinking I couldn’t wear yellow, for I am fair of skin and blue of eye, and could disappear if I stood naked in front of a snowbank. Years. YEARS. Of not wearing yellow. The happiest of colours! And I eschewed it simply because it supposedly doesn’t look good on me. Okay, yes. It is not the most flattering of colours on me, but you know what offsets it? The giant grin I have on when I wear yellow because, did I mention? YELLOW IS HAPPINESS.

You know who has to look at your clothes the most? You. All day long, out of the edge of your vision, you see yourself. Your arms, your legs. Your stomach, if you’re anything like me, and have one that constantly protrudes into the bottom of your vision. Wearing a colour you like means all day long you’ve got bits of happiness flashing at you. Seriously, wear the colours that make you happy.

Which brings me to neon. Or phosphorescent, or fluorescent, or Day-Glo, or AUGH AUGH MY CORNEAS or whatever you want to call it. Colour so bright it leaves afterimages when you look away. Colour that fills your vision and dazzles your brain and is so strong it fairly glows. That neon.

You know what neon is? Neon is colour making love to your retinas. Neon is colour so loud it keeps you up at night.

In other words, neon is AWESOME.

And suddenly, neon is everywhere. It’s like the eighties again, only without the shoulder pads! Plus there are so many advantages of wearing neon. Your friends can always find you in a crowd. No one has any excuse for jostling you or bumping into you. You probably won’t get ignored by the barista of that snooty coffee place, because it’s hard to pretend someone isn’t there when they’re wearing Day-Glo orange. Old people in cars can see you! Glow bowling is much more exciting, too.

I know that neon colours often make people think of the type of fashion that Blossom wore, or the New Kids, or Will Smith back when he was a rapper (who else wishes he would put out a single called “Parents Actually Do Understand And We’ve Got Your Best Interests At Heart So Stop Moaning About It Already”). I am not, in any way, advocating Hammer Pants, let’s just make that clear. But neon? Hells yeah. And it’s not just because I really really fucking love colour. It’s because neon is the closest thing you’ll ever wear to sunshine. And by sunshine, I mean the super heated plasma gas burning radioactively in the heart of the sun.

*Of course, if you asked my friends how I wear colour, I suspect there would be a lot of adjectives, but probably tasteful or subdued wouldn’t be one of them. I should set the record straight though; as much as I love colour, I generally prefer a few of them at a time. I am not a rainbow. Or a clown. Actually, I’m not sure anyone would back me up on the not being a clown thing. Hrrrm.

Happy birthday, Erin! I love your comment about how we see our own clothes more than anyone else… and you are right, a happy smile makes anything look good! It took a real attitude shift for me to start wearing my own handmade dresses everyday – but now I never worry about looking “too fancy” because dammit, they make me happy!

Happy birthday Erin! As I write this, three robots – a viking, a superhero and a minotaur – are ligned up beside my computer, also here to wish you a happy birthday. You are a doll!
Also, I love bright highlighter yellow. I love it love it love it.