Dolphins Sign Surviving Members of 1972 Team in Desperate Attempt to Turn Season Around

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MIAMI — The Miami Dolphins today signed several core members of their 1972 team that went undefeated in an attempt to turn their disappointing, 1–3 season around and get back into playoff contention.“We signed 17 members of the 1972 team and we are very excited about the impact players of that caliber will make on our roster and on our season,” said Dolphins general manager Dennis Hickey. “We would have signed even more, but it turns out many of the players from that team have long since passed away.”Current starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill is slated to be replaced in the lineup when the Dolphins return to action by 70-year old Bob Griese, who last played in 1980.

“I think I have a lot left in the tank,” said Griese, whose son, Brian, retired from the NFL seven years ago. “I may not have the zip on the ball that I did 43 years ago in ‘72, but I think my body today is right there with Peyton Manning’s and he’s still winning games.”Interim Dolphins head coach Dan Campbell said he is excited to make a playoff run with a veteran team.“The fact is that we know these guys from the ’72 team can perform at a very high level,” he said. “And the players we have on the current team have never accomplished anything in the NFL. We’ve made the decision to go with some known quantities who know how to win.”

Mercury Morris had the only 1,000-yard season of his career with the ’72 Dolphins. His career ended in 1976 with Chargers and he’s now 68, but Morris believes he can “easily” rush for 1,000 yards this season.“I might even run for 2,000!” he said. “I’m that good!”Greise said 2,000 might be a little high.“It’s hard to take everything Mercury says at face value,” said the Dolphin legend. “He’s drunk, like, 24/7 on champagne. He’s constantly celebrating losing teams. He’s got a real problem, if I’m being honest. I hope playing for the Dolphins again can give him something else to do in his life.”

Even with the ’72 players on the team, Vegas has set the Dolphins as 114-point underdogs in their next game against the Titans. However, Miami is currently a slight favorite in its Week 10 matchup against the Eagles.Miami’s GM said the team may also sign some of the deceased ’72 Dolphins and stack their coffins at the line of scrimmage.“It would have to be better than our current defensive line,” said Hickey. “Plus, they bring that winning pedigree.”