Sunday, 17 May 2009

Well folks its good bye from us. We were going to do all sorts of weird shit tonight to keep people guessing about why Roarprawn ceased operating at midnight tonight.

The simple fact of the matter is that we are going to work for a Ministry full time. Yip a public servant gig. As my mum says - a real job...We start tomorrow.

And the State Services Act is a bit of a bitch if you want to be a political commentator. Now we are fairly well positioned as a National Govt cheer leader but from time to time we have to put down our pom poms and give them a piece of our mind and , well you cant do that when you are a public servant. And we are not all that anonymous. After all we have been on telly.

We have had a ball blogging , its fun, outrageous and has ignited the old journo within. We were starting to get some decent numbers again too - up around the 1000 a day.

Now, who knows what will happen in the future - so we wont delete the prawn - but we will locked it away for a while. If someone wants to buy it - well email me on bustedblonde@gmail.com

update: We just saw the self centred cow on the Sunday programme. She did not do herself any favours. We also think that telling the truth is fundemental to integrity. To that end we are not convinced that she told the entire truth tonight and we expect her to be gone by the end of the week.

If you are in the South next Saturday - go and check out the Kakapo in Invercargill. If you are a rich bugger - Take a special trip. They are going to be on public display for a very short time.They will change the way you see things. They truly are innocence personified. Yip they are dumb, they have not adapted fast enough to survive with out millions of dollars and assisted breeding programmes. They would have tasted fantastic as well. But all jokes aside they are one of the most amazing birds you will ever see.

And the pic is taken by Barry Harcourt - one of this countries finest snappers.

But shit with the depleting ranks of dead tree scribes, isn't it time the awards just centred on a few big awards instead a catagory for everything from the best story on pimple popping to how to wash your undies?

Disclaimer - and no we never won a Qantas and yes we did enter from time to time. But we have won other stuff.And we agree with Cactus - its time for some blogging awards.

Friday, 15 May 2009

We have just learnt that the Ombudsman knew nothing of the release of the partial file on the stolen Brash emails this week by Howard Broad and his team at Police National Headquarters.

As we predicted, the file was nothing more than blank or blacked pages and press clippings. But here's the kicker - the police released them in that form without consulting the Ombudsman! The words of GuyonEspiner are ringing in our ears, Cover up - whitewash.

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Yip- its true we all make mistakes. So Melissa Lee looks like a barmy chick cos she said something in the heat of the moment. Hands up all those who have never said a seriously dumb shit thing in their entire lives.

Thought so.

Personally -if we lived Mt Albert we would vote for Shearer - he is cute, likes guns and if elected will ensure the unions no longer define the Labour Party.

We can understand why this govt wants to strengthen the Families Commission and on the face of it the appointment of Christine Rankin would appear to be a bold move by the government.

However as much as it saddens us to say so - it is a bad appointment. We are putting our party cheerleading pompoms down for a while.Our concern over Rankins appointment has nothing to do with divorces or marriage or her controversial reign at the head of WINZ where her zeal to turn her staff into Amway sales clones was an unmitigated disaster.

No, for us, its simply because, when it comes to Rankin, anything she does is ultimately about her and she uses populist causes as vehicles for self promotion. She is the great New Zealand "I am."

The police have written nothing about much ado, according to the guiding one.

We completely agree. What is very good is that when Guyon does get his incisors into a meaty story he will chew on it till he gets to the marrow. So we await with breathless anticipation his ruthless endeavours to get to the bottom of this suspicious and complex tale that goes to the heart of parliamentary security.

And when Guyon and all the other shiny bummed scribes in the press gallery get a nanosecond to spare can they please ask the GCSB where on earth their annual report is? What does it say?Is there another story here?

Speaker Lockwood Smith wants police to brief him on their investigation into the alleged theft of emails from former National leader Don Brash to assure himself that Parliament's computer system was not hacked into.

Dr Smith said Parliament's computer security specialists had a "pretty high level of confidence" that the system had not been accessed, but he wanted to know what police had found.

Well you have to ask. According to Chris Keall from NBR On Breakfast this morning the ever chirpy Tamiti Coffey bragged about his new Xt phone - given to him by Telecom. And he did the live cross in front of the large Telecom XT launch billboard. This from Chris's blog this morning:

NZ Comms originally announced its pre-launch event today in anticipation of Telecom's XT going live on Wednesday. Yet while XT is now off until May 31, its ghost launch continues to upstage; I just saw TV1 Breakfast weatherman Tamati Coffey bragging to Paul Henry about his free XT phone. His choice of location to deliver the forecast this morning: in front of a giant Richard Hammond billboard.]

Update: Hey sometimes we get stuff wrong - this was one of those occasions - this from an ever vigilant prawn reader.Thx BB.

It didn't actually go down like that at all. Tamati was standing in front of a parking building, on top of which was a Telecom XT billboard. It was Paul Henry, jokingly, who asked the cameraman to bring the billboard properly into shot (it was only just visible, off to the side), at which point Henry said to Tamati something like, "stay right there, you'll get given a new Telecom phone." He then later had the cameraman bring the billboard back into shot and asked everyone in the studio if they wanted a new phone, as Telecom would surely send them one as they were so kindly keeping their billboard in shot. Peter Williams said he didn't need a new phone. A couple of the floor girls yelled from off camera that they'd love one. Coran Dan, the business reporter, said he wasn't interested as "I'm with Vodafone." Far from being a gross piece of product placement driven by Tamati it was simply Paul Henry mucking about. Talk about Chinese whispers getting the message mixed up!

Cactus has the flu. That means she has had an awful lot of time to think over the weekend and as a result she has picked the wings of the fly that is NZX and she has done it with academic precision and elegance. If we were NZX we would send Cactus some tamiflu anti viral and some flu vaccine so she doesn't get the chance to think too much again. Or they could just send her a few cases of Krug and a decent shag or two. Otherwise the Barbed Barbie is going to keep on their case until there is some action.

1. NZX is privy because of their Regulatory position to information that makes them a trusted source.2. NZX charges for dissemination of this information to the marketplace and generates 45% of its operating revenue in this fashion.3. NZX is spreading its Regulatory role of a trusted source collector and disseminator of this information into commercial publications it is planning to purchase.4. NZX has had no permanent Head of Supervision for a year and it is arguable that this person is truly independent anyway.5. NZX claims that its Supervisory and Commercial operations are "quarantined".6. NZX Supervisory staff have been financed into an employee share scheme. The NZX CEO is according to the latest accounts, the third largest shareholder in the company and has a sole financial incentive to increase the earnings per share to receive more shareholding.7. The Securities Commission has previously raised issues of conflict with respect to NZX.8. The Securities Commission is over stretched and under resourced, more so due to recent finance company issues.9. The Securities Commission has called internationally for "independent, strengthened, and well-funded regulators for implementation at the domestic level" due to recent subprime crisis issues.10. The NZX CEO has a new politicised role and is seen by political advisors as having large influence on John Key.

We reckon Cactus is on the money. As she tends to be. We wait with interest the response from the MSM.

She likens our love of connectedness and lack of interactions with the real community, to the world of Wall - E where humans are dependent on robots to meet their physical needs while they hover about on hover chairs.

Ahh so sad and so true. We are in danger of becoming a hoverer. Well actually, we are already there.

We hate being disconnected - lost on a gravel road somewhere off the information super highway. We feel a new kind of fear - a dislocation and isolation, irrational as that may be when it happens.

We have become part of the machine and we are so happy there.Its a kind of intellectual bliss, it stimulates us in places we did not know we had.

However we can see the dangers and every weekend we hop off our hoverchair and dig some dirt, smell the breeze, walk and watch the changing land, we read from dead tree blocks and we talk to people. We harvest things and we kill to eat.

We worry about the rise of the hover people, Will we see a new generation of hover kids wired into the mirror world of Wall- E with cellphones in their nappies and touch screens smudged with watties baby custard, tiny ears stuffed with buds emitting all kinds of info.

We hope not. We must teach our kids that the information connectedness is part of our world not all of it.

Brash reckons he wont every find out who stole them. Maybe he is right. However, what we want to know is why they were stolen and why the police investigation was so shoddy and what the hell the secrecy was all about. And TV3 have also mentioned the burglary of Diane Foreman's home. ( she was Brash's par amour) what was taken- was it really expensive stuff or just really interesting stuff?

Based on my humble experience with pommie men - ( married one once ) they are a nation of tit men so this campaign garnered some nationwide support quicker than a 15 year old boy could ping a bra strap.

Marks and Sparks reckoned it cost extra to make DD cup over the shoulder boulder holders.Crap said the "big breasted don't mess with us" team. They weren't being charged for big sized clothing so the argument appeared as realistic as Pamela Andersons left one.

So more than 8000 signing up to support a Facebook campaign run by Busts 4 Justice, which branded the extra charge for bigger bras an "unfair tit-tax".

National newspapers joined their cause, attacking M&S over its pricing policy and recruiting all sorts of voluptuous celebrities to comment on how unfair they thought it was.

The mass market Daily Mail began offering discount M&S vouchers so its readers wouldn't have to fork out any extra for larger size bras.

The Sun tabloid, famous for its Page 3 topless models, also urged M&S: "Hands off our boobs".

Finally after days of controversy - and bucketloads of negative publicity for M&S - the retailer's dapper chief executive Sir Stuart Rose backed down and announced an end to the bigger bra cost with the simple admission: "We boobed."

We particularly like the mole catcher, considering its apparently a deep throat mole that probably leaked the details to a media who are rightfully gorging on the salubrious details. Ahh such fun, such sport.

It was inevitable that this would happen - On the back of sweeping changes to disconnection procedures after the untimely death of Folole Muliaga, half the bloody reprobates around the country have tried to claim " medical need " to stop being disconnected from their power supply for unpaid bills.

We are really angry about this. If power companies are having to spend thousands on establishing medical need and then on top of that, not getting paid for power people are using, then that means that people who pay their power bills like us, end up paying more.

We are paying for the loafers and the down right fraudsters sucking off a system made loose by an over reaction. The sick part of this is those in genuine need have probably had to wait to be declared medically dependent on power while all the leeches are weeded out of the system.

Mercury Energy has approved just 1500 claims by customers wanting to be registered as medically dependent, out of 10,000 applications.

Energy retailers had only now sorted through most claims, Mercury general manager James Munro told the newspaper.

"The entire industry has had to work through a big bulge to get down to those who are genuinely medically dependent."

The Electricity Commission, which introduced voluntary guidelines to protect the vulnerable, is considering how to tighten up the system to stop people taking advantage of retailers while still protecting at-risk customers.

So we say all power to the Electricity Commission to sort this mess out and quick bloody smart.

Saturday, 9 May 2009

We had lunch at Shed Five late last week. It was interesting to compare it with its sister restaurant Euro. The maitrede at Shed Five is a lovely Basil Faulty wise cracking laugh a minute man who knows food and wine. We started with Southern Glory Oysters. They are huuugggee! They are Bluff oysters farmed in the sheltered waters of Big Glory in Paterson Inlet. We had a dozen between three of us.

Even BB, known for her ability to open throat beer faster than anyone she has been pitted against, could not swallow these buggers whole. They are stunning. We texted Cactus and I swear we could hear her scream of outrage across a couple of oceans. We matched the oysters with a lovely Yealands, SauvignonBlanc. Then we had a flounder for main. It was simply the finest flounder I have ever had at any restaurant in NZ. I eat a lot of flounder, I buy it about once a fortnight so I reckon I am a bit of a connoisseur. It was in a light asian styled broth. We will endeavour to get the recipe.

We then asked for a stinky, hard and blue cheese board.. It was fantastic - all smelly and rich . We could go into the descriptions but you can find them on the menus here

And we have no relationship with Shed Five or the Nourish Group. We just like their food.

Ethical Martini has a very humourous take on some of the hysterical American style media coverage of the Napier shooting here and here

He rightly points out the breathless reporting of rumour as fact in the race to be first with the latest breaking events.Whale Oil sticks it to David Shearer, the Labour candidate for Mt Albert who thinks that crime isn't a big issue in Mt Albert.

Home Paddock has a roundup on two big philanthropic gifts - one by Eion Edgar for the Olympic committee and the other from New Zealandiophiles Julian and Josie Robertson who have donated a stunning art collection to the Auckland Gallery and finally and most importantly for farmers, some largesse from Ravensdown offering drought ridden farmers some relief.

And Alf Grumble obviously learnt more than stock ratios, wool classing and optimum rates of hop consumption when he was a young tigger at Lincoln University doing his Dip Ag. He does a lovely, almost scholarly dissection of some wankers PHD on the effectiveness of blogging.And GoNZo does a nice takedown of some crap subbing at the Herald.

And Hat Tip to Cactus for this one - some executive eye candy for all us executive sweet tooths.

We are pretty convinced that all the public will get to see will be lots of blank paper , some radio transcripts and a few press clippings when the police make public some scraps of the file next week.

We are still gobsmacked by this story. So here is a tune for all the spooks, police, watchers and politicians who maybe involved. It stinks guys and the longer you buried the more it will stink.Now there are many eyes on you. We will watch and we will wait....

We have been thinking a lot about the Napier siege, and the death of Len Snee, a good cop, the sort of cop we want all cops to be. A cop our kids would respect.

Anyway - we think that this song was the one that for us, epitomises what it means to be a policeman. A tough often thankless job. We have enormous respect for the cops on the front line. We see them every day in our lives and to a man and woman they are committed to keeping us safe. Anyway, like most New Zealanders the Napier siege and its consequences for policemen Len Snee and Bruce Miller and Grant Diver is never far from our thoughts.

We like the NBR online site. Its fast paced news style has it leading the pack on breaking business and political stories. ( we also receive no revenue from NBR, so its just pure professional admiration, just in case you are wondering but we think they need a feisty unpc blogger like Cactus Kate to liven things up a bit..) Then today NBR announced a new service which will worry Scoop. Its a press release service " From the horses mouth. Unedited press releases up on a an easy accessible site for all to see. Brill.

So to Barry Colman - we salute you - old and curmudgeonly you may be but you can still sniff the breeze and know where the wind is coming from.

So what are these national secrets that are so secret that we are not even allowed to know why they are being kept secret?

The File on the Brash emails at Police National Headquarters.

Matthew Hooton has the whole saga into today's dead tree copy of the NBR. They wont put the column on their on line site. We reckon that's at Hootons request because he is trying to save the New Zealand Forestry industry. He does a bit of work for them from time to time... We digress.

Anyway - Hooton has a bit of a thing about the Stolen Brash emails that were used by Nicky Hagar to form his flight of fancy book - the Hollow Men. Brash remains incensed that the police never seem to consider it a high priority.

Hooton lodged an OIA in May 2007. Two years later and the police are about to release something. It will probably be blank papers, a radio transcript or two and some press clippings. And Hooton has been lucky enough to secure the services of Kensington Swan pro bono. They are well known Rottweillers on this sort of stuff so the story is so very far from over. Initially the policewouldn't release the file because they reckoned it would compromise the investigation.

Brash was told nine months into the investigation that those in receipt of the emails had not been interviewed because the police were a tad busy with APEC.

Then in April 2008 senior plod Harry Quinn closed the file and announced that to the media. He said to Brash he would send him the file. He never did.

Then in mid 2008 the police changed their story and told Hooton the file was still open.... This is the last few paragraphs of Hooton's Column today. Its better than a bloody spy novel.

After Mr Quinn’s announcement, my staff redoubled our efforts to obtain the file. In mid-2008, however, PNHQ changed its story, advising the chief ombudsman that the file, which they had announced was closed, was in fact open.

Initially, the chief ombudsman, then new to the job, was sucked in to the PNHQ position. Even when PNHQ later confirmed that the investigation was “inactive”, she claimed she should “err on the side of caution”, despite the law demanding a presumption in favour of release.

Her provisional opinion agreed with PNHQ that releasing the file would prejudice the maintenance of law in New Zealand. Even more extraordinary, she ruled that her reasons for reaching this view needed themselves to be kept secret. That’s when we called in the lawyers.

Conspiracy Theories

PNHQ’s bizarre behaviour has fuelled all sorts of conspiracy theories. Ms Clark spun the yarn that an MP’s spouse was responsible for the theft. The professionalism of the operation led some to speculate about the SIS. Marginally more plausible are theories involving rogue officers at the Government Communications Security Bureau, given author Nicky Hager clearly had a source within that agency for his internationally-acclaimed Secret Power. One of the Urewera 17 has also been mentioned in Wellington IT and legal circles.

It is not healthy in a democracy for such conspiracy theories to gain currency. It is more likely that a politically-motivated PNHQ simply decided it was better to let sleeping dogs lie, and even more likely that they just botched the investigation. Whatever the truth, there is a clear public interest in every comma of the file being released, just as it was for paintergate.

So like us we reckon at this point you will be a little more than concerned about just what is concerning the police and the ombudsman. But we will bet the house that Hooton and Kensington Swan will find out. And more importantly it is an issue that should cause the Prime Minister enough concern to call a full inquiry.

Roarprawn is a blog by people of the Global village who hate bad shit

This blog is about politics and stuff and just so it doesn't get too boring, it's also about other news that takes our fancy or irks us and food and wine . Roarprawn was started by Bustedblonde. A feisty gal who knew her shit and was scared of bugger all apart from wasps, and shipwrecks. And if you want to join us or comment or give us a tip, then email the Brunette on brunettenz@gmail.com