Friday, May 30, 2008

6:38 p.m. - A woman called from the 200 block of Mill Street to report her neighbor's Chihuahua bit her shoe. The woman was told to contact Animal Control.

[What was the damage to the shoe?]

7:53 p.m. - A woman called from the 100 block of Townsend Street to report her husband was not allowing her to leave with their children. It sounded as if the two were fighting, then the line went dead. Police arrested the 33-year-old man on suspicion of destroying or removing a wireless communication device.

[We have stepped into the modern age and beyond merely damaging telephone equipment.]

2:24 a.m. - A caller from the 600 block of Walsh Street reported a woman was screaming about money. Police contacted a drunk woman inside her home. Police told the woman to stay inside and to keep it down.

[Pipe down lady, we've all got our own troubles.]

8:36 p.m. - A woman called from the 800 block of Freeman Lane to report cars were racing three abreast on Freeman Lane. The woman called back to say a juvenile just vomited in front of her residence. Police checked the area extensively and were unable to locate the juvenile or drivers.

[Or the vomit?]

7:23 a.m. - A man called from the 23000 block of St. Helena Drive to report his dog brought home what appeared to be a crack pipe. The caller would dispose of the item.

[When animals do drugs....]

8:26 p.m. - A caller from the 200 block of Sutton Way reported hearing a man making "animal like" sounds behind a business. Police arrested the 43-year-old man on suspicion of inhaling chemicals for the purpose of intoxication.

[Like an animal doing drugs.]

8:24 p.m. - CHP officers reported seven loose dogs were running in traffic on Highway 49 at Oak Tree Road. An Animal Control officer responded and was unable to corral the dogs. The dogs were causing an extreme traffic hazard, and the officer was not able to get ahold of Animal Control administration to get permission to kill the dogs. The officer would return the following day after contacting administration.

[Another example of the massive amounts of red tape in the bush.]

5:19 p.m. - A caller said liquidation signs were illegally posted on Sutton Way at Brunswick Road and the caller was tired of looking at them. An officer called the person.

[And could you talk the guy across the street into paint his place a nicer color?]

9:49 a.m. - A caller from a convenience store on the 100 block of Hughes Road reported a sign was stolen earlier in the morning.

[One sign...]

11:41 a.m. - A caller from a gas station on the 2000 block of Nevada City Highway reported a sign was stolen. Police took a report for petty theft.

[Two signs...]

1:21 p.m. - A caller from a gas station on the 1000 block of Nevada City Highway reported a sign was stolen. Police took a report for grand theft.

[Three signs... I am going to guess that each of these places was selling gas that had just gone past $4 a gallon.]

12:29 p.m. - A woman called from the 900 block of East Main Street to report her twin sister assaulted her. Police contacted both women and cited one on suspicion of assault.

[No possibility for confusion in this situation!]

8:22 p.m. - A man called from the 11000 block of Tyler Foote Crossing Road to report his granddaughter vandalized his property and bit his wife. A deputy took a report.

[Kids these days.]

2:44 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Olympia Park Road reported a man known for inhaling paint fumes just tried to buy paint. A patrol officer was advised.

[What do you have to do to become a known inhaler of paint fumes... well, aside from inhale a lot of paint fumes.]

12:45 a.m. - A caller from a store on the 1000 block of Sutton Way reported a man known for huffing paint fumes was in the store. The man left before police arrived. Police advised the caller to get a restraining order.

[Well, that is the sort of thing you get when you're open all night. I wonder how many other places this guy tried to get paint over the past 10 hours.]

10:52 a.m. - A caller from the 18000 block of Fair Oaks Drive reported activities happening in a residence involving "young males who are wearing the same color clothes." A deputy contacted the caller.

[Activities like what? Team sports?]

7:32 p.m. - A man called from a store on the 1000 block of Sutton Way to report he was urinating behind the business when a man in his 40s came up behind him and scared him. Police checked the area and could not find the man

[Yeah, I was urinating in public when somebody scared me. How does that get called in?]

5:25 p.m. - A caller reported one of his clients with mental health issues was planning to drive a car through a house in Penn Valley with the intention of killing someone. A deputy determined the intended victim did not feel threatened. The person was advised to call 911 if the person came on the property.

[Better put that on speed dial, just in case he is going really fast.]

3:20 p.m. - A male public works employee called from the 400 block of Nimrod Street to report a drunk man was near the playground area at Pioneer Park. The man's pants had fallen down. Police located the 45-year-old man lying in the horseshoe area and arrested him on suspicion of indecent exposure. It did not appear that the man was intentionally exposing himself, police said.

[And to think that I saw it on Nimrod Street.]

5:13 p.m. - A caller from Frontage Road off McKnight Way reported an emu was in the road. Police chased the emu and cornered it until Animal Control responded and took the emu into custody. It was unknown where the emu was from.

[Australia! The zoo! Harrods!]

12:02 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Argall Way reported a man was behind a business huffing paint. Police arrested the 43-year-old man on suspicion of possessing nitrous oxide.

[Well, it sounds like he finally got some sort of fix.]

7:58 p.m. - A caller from the 200 block of Broad Street reported a man who had been sleeping on a bench hit a female in the head. The female said the man also hit all of her friends in the head. No one wanted to file a complaint.

[I am going to guess that these hits were not big, full wind-up, haymakers then.]