The Scottish born, ego-maniac with an attitude problem, played to a live audience in Piccadilly Square, yesterday evening.

The issue of creating a â€œrealistic spaceâ€ atmosphere had been the biggest worry for the shows backer (a Mr. W Wheaton), but it was soon solved when the majority went home after about 5 minutes.

Despite this setback, Mr. McGregor continued heroically with the performance only stopping occasionally to â€œput on a squeaky voiceâ€ and hat for the demanding role of â€œAnakin Skywalkerâ€ or to strap on a white beard and talk in a much deeper voice for the part of â€œObi Wan.â€

The main attraction however, was the finale in the form of an epic space battle, which was brought to life (again) by Mr. McGregor providing a clear demonstration of his acting ability.

This manifested itself in the creative idea of him wearing a tin foil hat and going â€œPa Pa Pa Pa Peeewâ€ like a laser beam, whilst holding some ships made of empty cereal boxes (he had painted earlier that afternoon) from his dressing room.

I must also mention that,

During the interval we were also given a further insight into Ewanâ€™s talents, as he played an entire Ewok tribe using only a fur coat, a pair of oven gloves and some more squeaking noises.

One female reporter commented that his â€œWicketâ€ was simply inspiring.

I simply corrected her and said it was â€œ A pile of shite.â€ 😕

Picture courtesy of Davezilla.com â€œEwanâ€™s Final Attack on the Death Starâ€ copyright E.McGregor â€œEgo Productions Ltd.â€

A government project to house the homeless in time for Christmas was launched today.

Operation “Bauble” as it’s name suggests, is a pioneering new scheme where the homeless are not only decorated to make them attractive to passers by, but also given temporary shelter inside the decoration over the Christmas period.

A homeless guy dressed as a 50ft Scot’s pine was quoted as saying “I’m happy with the accomodation, but it’s these damn squirrels trying to bite my nuts that really piss me off!” 😮

It later transpired that these “squirrels” were in fact “crack whores” dressed as pixies who had been accidentally booked into the tree costume due to lack of available costumes in the Florida area. 😡

The administrative error has now been corrected and they have been issued with a reindeer on wheels instead.:lol:

All I can say is that I fully support the scheme and would happily live inside a giant candy cane over Christmas.