Saturday, October 27, 2012

The only time weekends suck

Tonight, I'm looking forward to a comfy night in while the rain buckets down outside and GB heads off to a music concert. The movie is ordered through Apple TV and pizza should be on its way anytime soon. So I thought I'd scribe a blog entry while I wait, listening to the familiar sounds of Gardening Australia on the TV in the background.

Our SM should have had her beta HCG test today to find out if she's pregnant. Based on past experience, SI wont have the results to us until Monday as their office is closed on a Sunday. Hence the title of the blog. As if the 2WW isn't enough, timing would have it that we have to wait an extra day. Needless to say, we're fairly experienced with this part of the process being the 3rd transfer and all.

Over the last week, I've reflected on the last 12 months since we made the decision to undergo surrogacy through India. I must admit, the optimist and naivety in me expected that we'd be pregnant by now. Although financially we prepared for the worst case scenario that it wouldn't happen on the first attempt, I don't think we ever actually thought we would be at our 3rd attempt and the prospect that that too, might come back negative.

I think I have read nearly every surrogacy blog out there and the backstory to everyone who has successfully gone through the process. Although statistically someone will always get pregnant on the first attempt - which happened quite a bit on the blogs I've read - I was hoping we wouldn't be in the group that still aren't pregnant after 3 attempts. I have to admit, I'm kinda numb to the whole transfer process these days. The only thing at the moment that elicits any level of emotion is opening up the financial tracking spreadsheet to see how much we've spent and how much longer we can continue. It's not the emotion we are really wanting to experience at this stage in the journey. I am unable to get excited at all about the process as it seems so fraught with disappointment and with odds stacked against you. Add on top of that continuing "communication" and "integrity" issues with our clinic and I am green with reading some of the other blogs out there of those who are pregnant and have a clinic who, or at least seem to, give a shit.

I continue to rationalise in my head that at some point it will change. I am just hoping that change will come before we the dollars run out.

So here's hoping Ms. V has worked a major miracle and has a jelly bean growing inside her. The Veuve is still sitting there quietly, waiting to be opened with the news eventually comes.

Reading back - this entry is a little on the negative side, so I will remain upbeat and end on a positive note. The Melbourne flat has now gone unconditional and will settle in mid November which is a great relief. My sister and nephews (including the one who predicted that we would have a little boy back in our third post) are visiting next week which I am very excited about. I'm hoping my nephew will be able to give us an update on when the baby might be coming....As soon as I know, I'll let you guys know too!

That's the door - a gastronomic distraction from the blogging and surrogacy world awaits. Until the next exciting(?) installment....

Hey guys, we had a bottle of Veuve in the fridge for a while, too...until we said "screw it, let's drink it..." and then we got pregnant six months later. We had multiple tries with multiple players and it all worked out in the end. Just remember to try to stay in the game, and keep your chin up. I had a ton of negative posts and they are a little embarrassing going back and reading them, but they are good for us. Call it therapy. FREE therapy (the writing, not the transfers to India :)) good luck!!!

GBLC

About Us

We are a thirty-something same sex couple, who have been together for over 10 years. After 4 failed attepts in India during 2012, we're starting fresh again and heading to Bangkok in November 2013 to fulfil our dream of starting a family.