Monday, May 26, 2008

Mammorial Day

Yes so, birth.

In the night there is a dream and in the dream you are riding in an old elevator with your best friend from childhood. The elevator stops and suddenly you feel wet and declare, "I think my water just broke!" Around you gathers a crowd of people who are cheering. Some even whistle. It's like a coronation of sorts, except you still feel wet.

And then you wake up and realize, labor has begun.

In the early morning you wake up the husband. He gives a spirited response and groggily rolls back over to sleep. For a couple hours you clean your house, do the last load of laundry, set some warm towels in the crock-pot and manage to bake a few batches of chocolate cookies. All the while, it is your little secret. The Secret.

Then the contractions begin.

In the afternoon, while rushes are coming randomly you decide to wait it out watching the latest Indiana Jones movie with the husband. It's campy and silly, but doesn't matter because, remember? In a short time there will be a baby in your arms. A real baby.

A baby who belongs to you (finally!)

In the evening, the contractions come faster. Family arrives at the house with food and prayers. They set up camp, watching you welcome regular contractions. Your husband rubs your feet. Sister Page adds a lavender-scented essential oil. You spend the evening reading birthing stories out loud to Page and Mom.

They eat your cookies.

By morning the next the contractions have moved to the back. Page figures that your baby must be posterior. The camp decides to head to the hospital where the nurses quickly confirm Page's diagnosis. After thirty hours of contracting there is an appeal to an epidural.

Then your feet turn numb and you feel like you've turned into Octopus Woman.

Hours later, in a sea of green scrubs and a cheering section of your woman-folk, plus one bewildered husband you are pushing. . .

. . . at least, you think you are pushing. . .

and smiling even though there is an oxygen mask on your face. It takes a few pushes--maybe a half dozen--and boom.

A head, a neck, a cord, a torso, a baby.

The baby.

The long-awaited infant! The specimen who has been occupying your belly (and thoughts) for the past ten months. The end of a season of unproductive fertility. The answer to your plead-full prayers.

And he's a cute little fella.

Who, as it turns out has a rigorous latching ability. Who, ray.

Shortly, there are visitors. Happy Grandma and Grampa K bringing food and handmade blankies. Md, Kentucky and Phun. Phun greets The Chief with the appropriate "HOW!" as one would to an Indian in the Pilgram's day. Lucy and Ric bring blooming peonies. Lisa enters crying. Owen finds the blue surgeon's gloves.

Nurses in. Nurses out.

Grandpa and Umi. Suze and children. Emily holds her promise of being the first cousin to cradle the newest crew member. Jesse and Lindsay stop by, make you laugh. Make Chup laugh. Give you a gorgeous green blanket knitted by Olga herself.

All-the-while, Steph is texting from the desert.

You debate with your husband for many hospital hours about a name, meanwhile the birth certificate worksheet stares at you with yellow eyes. Name him! Name him! It chants.

Finally the husband agrees to your first name, if the middle name can be the state of his origins. Yes, that is right your baby's middle name is one of the 50 states. A gem of a name.

(Like Indiana Jones!)

In the morning there is a circumcision to be done. Daddy is still at home, showering and readying the house for our arrival. You can't handle the thought of having your son's privates clipped in some sterile room in the recesses of the hospital all alone. So, at the insistence of your good friend Dr. Melissa, you walk down the corridors with a your son and pediatrician cursing Dad for firmly making this decision.

Turns out, circumcisions are fascinating. Not so gory. Baby sleeps through entire procedure. Daddy shows up for the last part, Dr. Melissa shows him the clipped skin. Daddy looks confused, Dr. Melissa recommends being proud. Deal.

In the afternoon you get the okay to go home. Katie, the nurse, wheels you out via wheelchair. It seems ceremonial, if not silly. And then someone forgot to take The Chief's security monitor off his little ankles.

The hospital goes on lock-down as we pass the exit.

The day is rainy. We pack in the car and drive towards home. Daddy says something like, "It feels like we are young college students, driving our beat-up Toyota back to Wymount with our new baby."

Exactly what you were thinking.

There is a brief stop at El Azteca, and finally you are home again. Safe, quiet, nurses-free home! The rain has turned to hail and as you sit there, baby on shoulder, eating beans and guacamole Daddy announces that after all, he still finds you attractive.

Deep breath.

In the afternoon, as you breastfeed (heaven!) you look at your new house, your good husband, your sweet, sucking newborn son and wonder . . .

In my opinion, as long as it's not a c-section, it's a huge success. Glad everything went well. Hope you liked that last movie you'll be seeing for a loooong time.I had babies 14 months and 16 months apart (on purpose!) It's been great.

Congratulations. What an amazing story. It sounds like a great birth! full of people who love you and are cheering for you, adding to your confidence. I'm hoping for a similar one in a few months myself.

I have to agree, breastfeeding was even more awesome than I thought it would be. Not without challenges (9-month-old strike, anyone? and how about those nursing pads for the first couple of months?) but really, really great overall.

I am so very happy for you!! It sounds like things went pretty well - so glad breastfeeding is working out, so glad you have a baby to hold and love on and adore - so very happy this has happened for you and your family. Congratulations!!!!! (by the way, my oldest was 2 hours old after a huge pain of a hugely scary pregnancy and emergency delivery and I too thought "I want to be pregnant again and have another one!!!")

3 C-sections...3 Successful births for me. A healthy baby is all that denotes success. Not the way he gets here, the place he is birthed or the drugs utilized. Not even the way he is conceived. Birth is so private, so sacred, so personal in nature. Maybe Jennie W. ought to reevaluate her comment, or at least be a bit more sensitive. She is showing her ignorance.

I delivered my first childs feet while in the car on the way to the hospital. One c-section, alergic reaction to morphine, staph infection and an open wound for 8 weeks made me never want to do that again, ever! So I waited 4 years to even try and then I too dealt with a bout of infertility. Then I had my second, a VBAC, and it was so much better. Much like yours.

I am so glad things went well. Good luck to your in your new adventure as a Mommy!

Snipping: Good decision: Nephew who is "different" than all the others wishes he was the same. Euphoria: lasts two weeks: after that, you will be glad you have some time inbetween children. :)Best wishes in sleeping to you. Enjoy every minute. It will pass you buy sooooooooooo quickly.

Maybe we should all start guessing the other name (other than "The Chief"). I guess Max Utah. Ok. Maybe not that. How about Albert California? That would be a conversation starter. Ok. Now I have it. George Washington. Isn't that a crack up? An Indian Chief named after a past President. So fitting. He is royalty after all. The first of many blessings to come for you and your family! P.S. Jennie W, Question for you. Are C-Sections not successful because you have babies who are born alive with prettier heads? Just a thought. If your baby would die otherwise, I bet you would consider a c-section pretty dang successful. Or maybe not. Maybe Jill is right. Ignorance is bliss.

Thank you for sharing CJane! Your story brought tears to my eyes, once again proving this little internet is a wonderful place to find joy and happiness. To celebrate for strangers made family by a few simple words of love and caring.

I love your story of his birth. I wrote letters to my kids telling them the story of their birth. However it would seem I do not remember some things from my sons birth. I has since found out 3 years later.

Since you referenced Indiana Jones a couple times is his middle name Indiana?

I'm so grateful to you, c, for taking time to write up the details. I was thinking about you all weekend, feeling sure you must be going through it all, reliving my stories as I imagined yours. Thanks for sharing the story for those of us who were on the edges of our seats, even when I know you're tired and maybe would have liked to put it off for a few weeks.

I can't believe you are making us wait... and guess... and wonder about the chief's given name. We know details about his circ... but not the details of his name. HAHAH. And yet, that's what I love about you and your blog. ;-)

Did you do a secret code in your birth story and tell us THE NAME? You said Who, Ray. That makes it seem like the Chief shall hearby go by the name of Ray Idaho? That would be sweet if I figured out "the code."

beautiful! i'm so happy for you and such a wonderful success story with such a long wait for a beautiful healthy baby boy. so exciting. looks like someone should watch the ignorance of their words. babies are a gift from God regardless of the way they get here---hope all continues to go so wonderful. your blog is awesome--fun to read and mysterious. it's obvious what a great person you are and how lucky that little guy is to have you as his mother.

Congratulations!!! What a wonderful weekend you had. I had a rather scary/boring visit to the hospital this weekend and am very grateful that my babe is still safe inside my womb. Enjoy that boy of yours!!!!

My guess is Jones Idaho. Although then again you don't seem like a last-name-first-name kind of gal so maybe Jonas Idaho?

(Side note on the side fray...that was an unfortunate comment but in fairness, having a C-section can be very disappointing, particularly after a long labor. That disappointment is completely separate from the joy of delivering a healthy baby. It's wonderful if that mom can focus only on the joy of a new baby, but it's also perfectly normal to feel both emotions.)

Agreed Eliza...both emotions are normal. But a comment like that from someone who has NEVER HAD a C-section is just plain short sighted and bordering on ridiculous. Disappointment does not translate into unsuccessful.

cjane, sorry to hijack your comments in defense of my daughter's honor, but azucar, as we say here in the hood: watchate mujer! (though frankie's fauxhawk does make her look like a little outlaw. perfect for the chief, i say!)

I like the way you called him, "The Chief." It reminds me one of my former students, whose father was actually a chief nearby the Indian reservation had an Indian's nickname. His grandmother was also a spiritual woman.

Anyway, I also loved the way he looked at you when you held him. Once again, congratulation!

WOW! I LURVE your version the BEST! If I had not giving birth before this would make me want to run out and experience! HOW to the Chief! How sweet it is to experience the presence, the smell, the touch, etc of a brand new Spirit and Child of our Heavenly Father that has entered this world! AMAZING non other then that~~

Awwwww, well done. El Jefe is SUPER cute. Not just saying that either...

Jill,Funny you should kinda jump on Jennie W a bit 'cause I disagree with your comment about conception not effecting success. The way the both of my kids were conceived did in fact create a non-successful situation as they were both conceived out of wedlock, making things really suck and creating some deeply bad situations not just in their health but overall well-being in and out of the womb. See, we all accidently say ignorant things sometimes!

I just recently began reading your blog, to keep updated on Stephanie. Often your thoughts are so similar to my own. Why is that? Well, I took a little time, late night, tracking back. And ah ha. We both had babies at the same time. Thus the constant nursing, fat clothes, body repulsion, bleeding fatigue of motherhood. Yeah. My third was born May 25th, 2008. So just about the time I was getting my first shut eye, you were eyes wide open birthing that chief baby!

A baby is sure to light up any home, but knowing how best to accommodate your new son or daughter is key to a happy transition. Sure, your child is a little person, but don't expect Junior to pull up a beanbag and nosh on nachos with dad at all hours of the night. Fexmid Not only will you need to put some thought into your child's feeding and sleeping routines, you've also got to make sure any siblings are ready to step up their game as well.