STAY FROSTY: Hoboken Cold Weather Survival Guide

This winter is basically Brad Pitt in Snatch. It doesn’t look like much, so you think it’s going down. In fact, you’ve bet money on it going down—but out of nowhere it’s about to rise up and crack us in the jaw.

Since we know it’s coming, why not take a few steps to be prepared…

FORECAST:
We’re currently under a Blizzard Watch, with Hoboken likely seeing impact around 1:00 a.m. Saturday.

We’ve seen worse, so don’t go too caught up in hyperbole. By most tempered estimates, we’re looking at anything from 5-12 inches of snowfall.

However, the wind is nothing to sneeze at, with sustained winds of 25-35 mph and gusts over 50. That, in conjunction with precariously timed high tides, could present a problem here in flood-prone Hoboken.

Also, be proactive and have some food in your house. The delivery guy might not be able to make it in on Saturday—nor the chef in the kitchen at the joint around the corner. You see, as much as the world revolves around you, snowfall impacts everyone. So be ready.

On that note, you might want to have a few beers in the fridge to tide you over. No room in the fridge? No problem—just leave them on the fire escape. They’ll chill just fine in the snow.

CLOTHING:
If you do venture out, let “Fashion” take a backseat to “Practicality.” Leave the open-toe stilettos in the closet and wear something that can help you slog through a 6-foot wide slush puddle. A) You’ll definitely ruin the shoes; and, B) you’ll probably slip, fall and ruin the rest of your ill-advised ensemble.

Dangers of “Overscarfing”: How Much Scarf is Too Much Scarf?

Keeping the upper body warm is essential as it’s the part with most of your working bits. Layers are the key. Scarves are good to muffle the body heat within your layers and hats are essential because mom is right—most of the heat does escape from the top of the head. You don’t necessarily need a nutria pelt strapped to your head as if you were going sledding in Gorky Park, but you do need something. Even a baseball cap will bottle the heat, but break out the knit cap for the ears when it’s real bad.

Oh, and gloves. Sometimes they’re handy (awful pun intended…).

TRAVEL

The I.Q. of drivers in the New York Metro area drops 20 points for every quarter-inch of snow that accumulates on the ground. Don’t drive. If you have to, drive slowly and give the frantic moron in front of you plenty of space to err.

Should you get on the open road and find yourself skidding, pump the brake and turn into it ever so gingerly. Sudden jerks of any kind to a moving vehicle are responsible for said vehicle flipping upside down and slamming into the guardrail.

Sweet.

That said, buses will face the same issues as cars, so keep that in mind. Trains are usually impacted by winter weather as well, so plan accordingly.

When it comes to walking, take nothing for granted. Ice reacts differently to various surfaces, and your feet can easily come out from under you. Use your arms for balance and walk almost on the inside of you feet. After a few icy days, you’ll notice the muscles of your inner thigh will ache, but it beats being in traction with a broken back.