Readers – GW has been killing it with NFL gambling this season (before promptly blowing it on awful Big Ten Football every Saturday). I apologize for not sharing. Truly. Put that student loan payment off another month and lock in on these gems.

Packers (-3) @ Lions - Speaking of slumber, the Lions will sleepwalk through the 1st half, make an ambitious comeback before fucking it up with an idiotic penalty or turnover at a crucial juncture. Fire that Red Ass, Jim Schwartz. Pick – Fucking Packers.

Cardinals (+10.5) @ Falcons - A long time ago, in a league far far away, the Cardinals rode a dominant defensive performance and a missed FG to beat the wannabe great Patriots. Also, Kolb. Falcons at home + coming off their 1st loss? Pick – Falcons.

Bengals (-3.5) @ Chiefs – Throw out the records when these 2 teams get together! Seriously, just ignore them. Will Mike Brown allow 2 consecutive, strong performances? Poppers all around in the Bengals’ luxury box. This game will forever be known as: “That One Where The Chiefs Played Fairly Average.” Pick – Chiefs.

Bucs (-1) @ Panthers - I remember when Bears’ fans were furious when they lost Ron Rivera to the Chargers. Haha. Bears’ fans are idiots. Still, I’m predicting a late-game Schiano Rage Meltdown in Charlotte after a crucial Freeman fumble. Pick – Panthers.

Colts (+10) @ Patriots - The message from ESPN is clear: The Colts didn’t give a shit about their profession until Chuck Pagano got cancer. Exploit the illness. Sell the sentiment. You’re a fucking disgrace. Pagano’s cancer will not be enough to get them past the Pats on this Day of Prayer, but it should allow them to cover. Spin that, NFL. Pick – Colts.

Chargers (+8.5) @ Broncos – Von Miller is being all Von Miller again and the Broncos can almost seal the division with a W. Papa John, never one to shun a self-promotion, will appear with Phillip Rivers in an ad offering terrible 3/4 pizzas in honor of Rivers’ release. Broncos win. Chargers cover. “Papa” John is a festering staph wound. Pick – Chargers.

Ravens (-3.5) @ Steelers – This spread has swung 7 pts since Born Again Ben was declared out. I like where the masses are going. Pick – Ravens. Eh.

Bears (+5.5) @ 49ers - If Kaepernick plays, I predict a Bears’ defensive TD and a heroic Jason Campbell performance, checking it down all the way to the cover. Pick – Bears, kids.

Damaine Mitchell, 19, of Westwood, was before her Wednesday charged with trafficking in marijuana, a crime that carries a maximum prison sentence of 11 1/2 years. He is accused of selling marijuana June 12 in the parking lot of a Westwood store.

The Hamilton County Common Pleas Court judge stressed to Mitchell that she was willing to work with him – offering him a treatment program that, if successful, would not only prevent him from going to jail but also erase the crime from his record. All he had to do was give up smoking pot.

+1 for Judge Marsh’s willingness to work with Mitchell instead of imposing an idiotic and lengthy prison sentence. Now we give +1 to Mr. Mitchell for his honesty:

“That’s going to be hard for me to do, to be honest with you,” Mitchell told the judge.

She told him he would have to stop smoking marijuana for months, maybe until April, and she would drug test him to make sure he was living up to his end of the deal.

Mitchell replied very honestly.

“That’s going to be a challenge,” Mitchell told the judge. “I like smoking weed. I have been smoking weed since I was like 10 years old.”

“In some parts of rural Maine, there were dozens, dozens of black people who came in and voted on Election Day. Everybody has a right to vote, but nobody in town knows anyone who’s black. How did that happen? I don’t know. We’re going to find out….

I’m not politically correct and maybe I shouldn’t have said these voters were black, but anyone who suggests I have a bias toward any race or group, frankly, that’s sleazy.”

Dozens? How dare they? Of course, Webster could have checked the Census figures to determine Maine has thousands of black citizens, but the Census is obviously just another ACORN! conspiracy to castrate land-owning white males.

World Champion Free Diver and breath control expert, Stig Severinsen, just set the new world record by holding his breath underwater for an utterly astounding 22 minutes.

Yahtzee!

….before going underwater, he inhaled pure oxygen so as to saturate his body with oxygen. That said, this is still incredibly impressive .

but it would be more impressive if he smoked a couple of Newports before the attempt.

For the past decade Severinsen has experimented with different methods of breath-hold to examine their effects on the mind and body. He even wrote a book titled Breatheology: The Art of Conscious Breathing.

Conscious Breathing. That doesn’t sound annoying at all.

Congratulations to World Record Holder and future Marco Polo champion Stig Severinsen! Be careful of those groupies! (Ironically, Severinsen reportedly terrible at cunnilingus.)

I know this rapturous video is overwhelming in its dramatic portrayal of the sport, but please heed the video’s warning and do not try this is your kitchen sink. Thanks. Sincerely, Matt

This meeting did not take place in a Best Western Conference Room off I-16. It did not take place in a hunting blind. It did not take place in a living room containing Third Reich memorabilia prominently displayed behind glass. It did not take place in the back yard of a Rest Home. Or in the back of a van covered in Monster Energy Drink stickers.

This 4 HOUR meeting of the Republican Caucus took place at the State Capitol. It was not convened by Georgia’s “Michele Bachmann,” which I assume is just a goat with a peanut necklace carrying a Confederate Flag. It was called by the senate Majority Leader Chip Rogers.

It was emceed by Field Searcy, a local conservative activist who was forced out of the Georgia Tea Party in April due to his endorsement of conspiracy theories about the president’s birth certificate and the collapse of World Trade Center Tower 7.

Repeat. This guy got kicked out of the tea party. In Georgia.

About 23 minutes into the briefing, Searcy explained how President Obama, aided by liberal organizations like the Center for American Progress and business groups like local chambers of commerce, are secretly using mind-control techniques to push their plan for forcible relocation on the gullible public:

“They do that by a process known as the Delphi technique. The Delphi technique was developed by the Rand Corporation during the Cold War as a mind-control technique. It’s also known as “consensive process.” But basically the goal of the Delphi technique is to lead a targeted group of people to a pre-determined outcome while keeping the illusion of being open to public input.”

This all relates to the recent rash of state Glenn Beck/GOP Tin foil conspiracies regarding Agenda 21, a 20-year-old UN program that attempts to address hunger, poverty and sustainability. It’s primarily focused on Developing Countries.

And it’s going to fucking destroy America, our daughters, and the NFL!

The presentation also featured a special video cameo from conservative talking-head Dick Morris in which the former Clinton aide warns that Obama “wants to force everyone into the cities from whence our ancestors fled.”

Heed Dick Morris’ warnings or be banished to a multi-unit building close to public transportation.

(originally posted 2/10/10) then again (7/9/10) now one more time before retirement. for love. UPDATE: So it’s as hot as fuck out east because, you know, it’s July. Anyway, I’m just checking in because although You Know and I Know daily mid-Atlantic microtrends in weather do not offer any proof or disproof with regard to […]