California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Griglo wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as Pino More ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Q. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?A. Only one, but it might take all day.

Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?A. There is not enough time to get everything done.

Q. Why don't retirees mind being called senior citizens?A. The term comes with a 10% discount.

Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?A. Tied shoes.

Q. Why do retirees count pennies?A. They are the only ones who have the time.

Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?A. NUTS!

Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?A. Normal

Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?A. The never-ending Coffee Break.

Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly couple was attending church services when about halfway through she leans over and says to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas, what do you think I should do?"

He leans over to her and replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I guess I'm ready to sit on the porch and start barking.

People already think I'm barking mad.

After all Baby chases cows, and I chase them too.

Good morning everyboomie.

Your friendly neighborhood diner front man here.

Time to flip the old hour glass and begin a promising new day.

If I had a sledge hammer I think I might just smash the old hour glass.

Unfortunately it wouldn't change a thing. You can't stop progress.

I know. I tried it with my alarm clock already.

It stopped my alarm clock, but it didn't stop time.

Ah well. All swell that end swell.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Edited by gymcandy1 (12/11/1201:28 AM)

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There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Tomorrow is oldest son's 50th Birthday. Boy, that makes me old. Danish, Pancakes, and Muffins in the NC.

I'm up early as I have to head out in a bit to do some errands. We are supposed to barely make it to 50 today, and that is a maybe. That means I'll have to wear jeans instead of shorts while out and about running around. I'm going to get one more cup of coffee first though.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Brrr another coldcoldcold day/night comming up but tomorrow is warm -can't wait. Right now the sun is warm and bright and the pets are all stretched out in it.

Another doggy crisis last night. Trina's mouth was bleeding and she limped on front right leg. Oh my, Trina, what's wrong. Animals are smart though. She stayed out half the night and in all the cold too, but this AM she's almost 100% like eating and running around. She must understand "go to the vet". I'll keep watch.

I need a new shooter -any suggestions?

Yuuuum hot tea and honey after 2 cups hot coffee and milk. Yup all caffiened up so now on to chores.

Happy Tuesday all

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I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

Well, busy day so far. Went out and bought myself a "HappyBirthday" and "MerryChristmas" present. Then had to come home and set it up. Daughter called a couple of times...drama continues and I swear I'm going to turn all the phones off!

It is Not Hot in Al today. It would be beautiful except it's Not....grey skies and windy windy windy :eek: I hate wind!

Also doing laundry and a little cleaning.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras