Lost in Showbiz has noticed that there are those among you who think that celebrity has become a devalued concept in the modern age. Where once people were elevated to fame for genuine achievement, now we are reduced to grubbing around, desperately trying to attach significance to people who have no significance at all. Look, say those who feel we have reached some kind of nadir, at the authentically pathetic attempts of Richard Desmond's publications to create even a vague sense of interest in the motley collection of people who have agreed to take part in this year's Celebrity Big Brother. COWELL SEX SECRETS REVEALED, screamed the front page of the Daily Star, which turned out to mean that a woman who had gone out with The X Factor mogul 35 years ago, while he was at school, was supposed to be taking part.

Elsewhere, there are those who would scoffingly suggest that the decline in the quality of celebrity is currently enshrined in the love life of Priscilla Presley. Once, she was married to possibly the most famous man in the world, a cultural icon who had achieved his fame by transforming popular music and, arguably, popular culture itself, by helping to define a genuine social revolution – in which teenagers increasingly asserted their independence from their parents – through his art. Today, she seems to be going out with Toby Anstis. Is this the best we can manage?

Lost in Showbiz naturally has no truck with such an argument. It simply chooses to list Toby Anstis's plethora of significant achievements – winning the fifth heat of Channel 5's The All Star Talent Show dancing to Justin Timberlake's SexyBack, beating both Garry Bushell and the late Terry Nutkins to take sixth place on Living TV's I'm Famous and Frightened!, presenting Trust Me: I'm a Holiday Rep – and raise a querulous eyebrow at those who suggest his contribution to popular culture is somehow lacking. Besides, Lost in Showbiz feels this is no time to be mourning Elvis's absence, not least because it learned this week that the King is still very much with us, albeit with his spirit transferred to another's body.

It realises that the Diet And Fitness New Year Special Issue of OK! Magazine isn't the first place that you might look for information about what Hindus refer to as punarjanma. But there it was, in between a riveting report on David Beckham's sister's impressive three stone weight loss and an apology that bears testament to the peerless journalistic standards the magazine upholds at all times: "In our 2011 Christmas edition we published an article, advertised on the front cover, accompanied by what many readers thought was a picture of Katie [Price], Peter Andre and her children, which stated that she had given us an interview telling us that she would be reuniting with her ex-husband at Christmas. In fact, Katie never gave us an interview or stated that she would be reuniting with Peter at Christmas and the picture was in fact a picture of Peter and the children … which we ran together with a picture of Katie." Yes, there it was … the news that Elvis had been reincarnated. The corporeal entity into whom his spirit has passed? Of course, you have beaten me to it: Claire from Steps.

Indeed, it is so blindingly obvious that the King's soul has transmigrated into the body of Claire from Steps that no further explanation is required. What was your immediate thought on hearing Steps for the first time? That's right: I am struck by the strange but ineffable sensation that I am in the presence of a force that will transform popular music and, indeed, popular culture itself by helping to define a genuine social revolution through art. But, nevertheless, the Hillingdon-born hitmaker does provide an explanation, a little unexpectedly, at the tail end of an interview largely concerned with her love of food ("I've found a place that does a hot dog stuffed into a pretzel, it's amazing," she offers at one point, which the most hardened sceptic might be forced to admit does sound quite a lot like something Elvis would have said in his later years, possibly followed by: "I've just had 47 of them for lunch"). Point by point, she ticks off the irrefutable evidence to support her claim. First, she reveals that she was born the day that Elvis died: actually, technically speaking, it was the day after Elvis died, but let's not split hairs in the face of the mysterious cycle of karmic patterns of birth and rebirth. "We both love glitz and big hair," she adds. A cynic might suggest that so does Miss Jason, star of Brighton's alternative pantomime Jack and His Big Stalk, but perhaps even they would be silenced by her final verification. "I went a bit funny when I was at Graceland," she says, adding: "All the pictures I took in that house, not one single one of them came out. They were all blurred."

Lost in Showbiz stands back, convinced, and cries: paging The Richard Dawkins Foundation For Reason And Science! Let's see you and your rationalist pals explain the unfathomable mystery of Claire from Steps's blurred photos of Graceland! Until such time as you can, let's celebrate: Elvis is back in the building and, what's more, he is onstage with Lisa Scott-Lee! What a way to start the year! The hot-dog-stuffed pretzels are on Lost in Showbiz!