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INTERNET — Former convicted street racer, recidivist, and prison escapee Jamie Jo Corne was, until October 2011, a central figure for Anonymous hacktivists as founder and executive editor of Presstorm, progenitor to the controversial YourAnonNews corporation. Corne leveraged her powerful voice as head of Presstorm to criticize the nascent Occupy movement, a very unpopular opinion among her allies in Anonymous. This coupled with mounting evidence of Corne’s involvement in overtly racist marches and exposure of her criminal past spelled the end to Corne’s days in Anonymous, and Corne’s staff at Presstorm dramatically mutinied as Denial of Service attacks shuttered the site. In the wake of this traumatic loss of power, Corne caught herself from the fall in an impressive feat of mental gymnastics which inflated her own sense of control when it was at its weakest. By framing her involvement with Anonymous as an “investigation” — 10 Months Into a Deviant Subculture on the Internet — Corne invoked the ever-popular “social engineer” alibi, inventing manipulations and exaggerations beyond those she was already well known for. In the years since Presstorm, Corne has slipped out of Anonymous regalia and into a redneck guise. After history replayed itself in the recent Anonymous-like falling-out with the Patriot Freedom Network, Corne posted an intensely racist rant which culminated in a cringe-inducing call for farmers to ride their herds into Washington DC and burn all their paper money.

Corne also, unbelievably, seems to have openly called for violent action against President Obama, threatening, (7:30) “This fuckin’ nigger in the office from Kenya has GOT TO GO! . . . Niggers are traitors against the American People! You wanna be a nigger? Fine be a nigger, but you’ll get a bullet in your fuckin’ head for doin’ so.” In the direct aftermath of Corne’s permanent ban from Patriot Freedom Network, Corne also stated that she has only one year left to live due to terminal metastatic brain cancer. Is this cancer yet another manipulative ruse inspired by butthurt, like her so-called Anonymous Investigation? If Corne is truly on death’s door, this racist message hinting at presidential assassination only seems all the more terrifying.

CHRONICLE.SU EXCLUSIVE

Virginians are a-buzz over this shocking news!

**TRIGGER WARNING**

Prisons used electric chairs when pictures looked like this.

RICHMOND, Va. — The atmosphere is electric at the Virginia General Assembly, where legislators are charged up and ready to take a vote on the controversial “back-up execution” method. Political analysts have said State Representative and Freedom Enthusiast M. “The Patriot” Webert is hurrying to amend the bill to what he says is “a more aggressive state.”

The bill would establish “shocking to death by electric chair” as the default, primary execution method if drugs for lethal injection are not readily available because fucking Steven forgot to call the dealer.

“And what if the power goes out, what then?” a member of Webert’s staff stated in an email. “Are we supposed to just wait around until it comes back on? No. These rapers, chinks, and swampy’s need to go, and they need to go quickly. The subtext of the bill includes electrocution by car battery.”

Chronicle.su Resident Physician Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour said capital punishment is important work that should not be entrusted to the free market.

“We don’t have all fuckin day. What, we gotta wait and see if the needles work, too?” Troubadour mused. “No time for that – here in Virginia, us boys will go straight to execution, the American way. That’s why they call it a Commonwealth.”

Troubadour, who is also a historian, said that although there was no death penalty before 1976, “it was still better to die back then.”

“And what we did back then” he said, “was torture them with true stories about Richard Nixon.”

Webert’s amendment appeals for five different back-up methods in case of a drug shortage. The first is electrocution. But in case of any electrical problems, the next outmoded four are: impalement; premature burial; suffocation in ash; and hanged, drawn, and quartered.

If Webert’s bill goes through, GOP leadership said they will ask Governor McAuliffe to issue an executive order televising state executions at pay-per-view premium prices.

The governor’s office was not available for comment at the time of this story. As to whether the governor would sign off or veto the bill, he still has not said.

But Webert has been assured that “If Terry is anything like me, he’ll be in the front row with a bag of popcorn. Hell, the first round’ll be on me!”

[Editor’s note: Okay, alright now we are going to write this. I smoked a big old fat thing of weed and now we are going to write an article about]

The state of our world

…digital and otherwise – assuming there’s a difference (based on a paper forwarded to me by Kilgoar, I unconsciously pore over the definition of reality. The paper – originally published in a scientific journal, but now Aaron Swarz’d on this subversive website – stipulated that substantial evidence “exists” to suggest reality as we know it is a computer simulation.

The cat pictured above is exhibiting extra-binary political analysis.

Let’s just say for a second that we do live in a computer simulation designed to reproduce (or produce for the very first time) each facet of our existence – from the evolution of the single-celled organism to mankind, or from illiteracy to telekinesis. Let’s assume that every instance of reality exists not only in probability but in practicality. If we are part of “one” simulation then we may infer there possibly could be many others. Perhaps these alternate realities play out in widening variations – even to the extent we no longer recognize existence in its many otherworldly iterations.

Or let’s just say that’s all bullshit. Either way, does a two-party system actually reflect the needs of mankind?

Even fucking binary code “needs” more than 1′s and 0′s to function. Binary needs a processor.

Our false-binary political system does not allow us to recognize what goes on outside that vote – or that the government itself is a sort of processor, and not the result of voting itself. The processor is designed for certain purposes; all of them acted out, at its most basic level, in binary. And that is how America votes (and the results are menacingly consistent). Republican or Democrat, “left” or “right,” this one or that one, the lesser of two evils, and so on … it is by design that these are our choices.

It is of the utmost importance that we question, at every opportunity, what “reality” is, or is not.

To be, or not to be, that is the question—

This is a classic example of pre-computer false binary. I would have sailed out across God’s green ocean, and to hell with revenge and the idolization of one’s enemies.

http://youtu.be/h7TgTb_0wsg

But Prince Hamlet let himself get wrapped up in the binary when he should have been thinking about wrecking the processors. If you don’t like what your Pentium IV from 1999 is doing, then you don’t delete out a line of code. You replace that motherfucker. I’m talking about a processor revolution, and people don’t think like that. We are taught to think in binary. Yes and no.

So what if you KNEW “everything” was a computer simulation. Wouldn’t you want to play in it? Wouldn’t you be interested in seeing what it can do? Or does being a process relegate us to certain behaviors, certain parameters – certain “rules.” Maybe, right? But isn’t it worth a try?