13-years-old groomed online- Prepare your kids for online predators

Summary: Predators are constantly targeting young people online. Have you spoken to your kids about online grooming? I share a Snapchat encounter that ended badly for a 13-year-old and a wake-up call for all parents.

Online grooming definition: These are people whose aim is to build trust and befriend you kid online with the aim of sexually exploiting them in the future.

Child grooming story – A predator targeting a young girl and things turn sexual very fast.

The BBC reported about a young girl called Emily (name altered for privacy reasons) who was groomed by a 24-year-old man when she was only 13 years old.

She met this man through a friend who claimed that he is only 16 years old. They started chatting on Facebook and Snapchat and texts regularly. Things turn sexual very fast.

They exchanged photos and videos and soon agreed to meet. He picked her up from school one day and drove her into the woods. They had sex and later on kicked her out of the car at the traffic light.

It was the first time she ever had sex. She was bleeding and crying.

Emily’s parents stated to the BBC that they felt like they failed as parents.

“we knew about these social media sites, we thought we were doing everything we could to ensure our children’s safety when they were online, but we still couldn’t protect Emily.”BBC

Online Grooming in the news :

Understanding how Online Predators/Groomers work:

Before being able to protect your kids from online grooming we first need to understand how online groomers work.

Online groomers research to determine what apps are most likely going to allow them access to their preferred child/teen type. For instance, if a groomer is interested in young males you will find them in the gaming environment such as Fortnite.

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2. They are tech savvy & teen-savvy. Groomers understand the social needs that every child/teen must have (Affection, Belonging, Recognition).

3. Predators will start things off very nicely, flatter your kids and even go the extent of buying them gifts. They make your kids feel like they can relate to them and understand them.

4. They take a lot of effort into learning about your children. For example, stalking your social media profile, knowing who their friend is, where they check in, what their likes and dislikes are. (Source : Common Sense Media)

5. Groomers are deceptive and often lie about their appearance, gender age and location

Preparing your kids from online predators/groomers :

Let your kids know that they should walk away from strangers online. Especially when someone is being overly nice.

Whether your child uses social media or not, as long as they can access the internet you will need to speak to them about the dangers of talking to strangers online.

Regularly ask your child which apps or games they use. Make a rule that they can only chat with people they know and trust in real life

If your child is on any social media app, inspect it regularly. This is not because you do not trust your kids but because there are 1000000000 others who will use these platforms to target your kids. Until they are emotionally equipped to deal with the things online you need to monitor their account.

Do not instil fear into your kids, instead arm them with information. If your child is big enough you can show them videos of victims of online grooming so they understand how it can happen

6. If your child is a gamer then ask them if the game is multiplayer, can they chat to strangers on the game, and if anyone ever tried approaching them through the game

7.Spot check your kids’ devices to see if they have any sexy photos. Don’t forget that kids can be good at hiding it using secret apps. If you do find any inappropriate images do not overreact. Instead, use this chance to have an open conversation about what is going on.

Children’s online safety book- teach them about internet safety from a young age. For 3 -10 years old

Some more talking points with your children about online grooming :

Let your child be aware that there is always a possibility of someone approaching them online to get access to their personal information, pictures or to even meet up. They might feel like they can trust the person. Ensure your child that at this point they should not be afraid or hide it from their parents. Instead, they should tell a trusted adult.

Also, talk to your kids about online privacy. For instance, they should never give their personal information such as name, phone number and address to a stranger.