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Tantra says you have to accept yourself as you are – do not restrain, just accept, but be aware and you will transcend. Yoga promotes restraint. both ways are acceptable. Tantra and Yoga may be two different manifestations but their genesis is the same.

How is that?

In tantra you accept yourself because that is the expression of your life, of your consciousness, in its natural course of evolution. Within us we have both ‘good’ and ‘bad’, creative and destructive. Usually, religions tell us to accept ‘good’ and reject ‘bad’ or negative aspects of our personality, but we, with our limited understanding, tend to mess things up. We try to change the pattern of our behavior and thinking. This enforced change within the personality is suppression of the normal expression which applies to all levels of our consciousness.

Tantra talks of the union of Shiva and Shakti. Shakti has nearly always been defined as kundalini, and Shiva, the male aspect, has been defined as chetana or consciousness. Tantra is not really referring to a physical relationship. It says that in order to experience internal union you first experience external union; to experience internal bliss, experience external bliss. The difference is momentary; internal bliss is continuous.

In Tantra there are initiations which are awakening of Shakti. The practice of asana is an initiation for the body. Pranayama is initiation of the pranas. The only difference between Tantra and Yoga is that Yoga is outgoing; it deals more with the world, body, mind, personality, emotions, actions and environment; whereas Tantra is more meditative.

You acquire desire because, for the evolution of consciousness, conflict is necessary. It is a means for awakening part of the consciousness. If there were no conflicts, there would be no evolution. There would be a stagnant state of consciousness.

How should we deal with desires?

We must accept them. If I desire to slap you, I should think of the repercussions it can have, positive or negative. If I simply follow my emotions there will be a big fight between us. this is where you have to learn to detach yourself. Both processes happen together. You allow emotions to flourish, observe them, and learn how to control them. You come to know when it is the right time for action and let that energy manifest. then this manifestation will be positive and creative, rather than haphazard.

Do men and women have different spiritual attributes?

Tantra believes that feminine energy is more refined and of higher quality than masculine energy. in Tantra the female principle has the position of guru, and the male principle that of a disciple.

Why is this so?

because of a woman’s ability to flow without any kind of intellectual barrier which binds one to the material level. Women have intuitive ability because theirs is a psychically active energy. Male energy is passive and seems to tend towards tunnel-vision. Women are able to perceive things which the male energy cannot. One must learn to flow with sensitivity; one must learn to flow with higher awareness.

We are often warned not to push anyone into a corner because that is when they fight their best and most vicious battles. A good hunter will never force a wild animal in a situation from where it perceives no escape; the animal must feel there is still some escape route. Because it is when the animal loses hope of escape, that it will fight at its wildest and cause the worse harm.

A cornered creature, man or animal, is dangerous, even vicious. For, that is the point at which one loses all fear. You become fearless when you lose that which you value the most. Because, when that happens, the rest doesn’t really seem to matter as much. And, you also realize the futility of having lived in fear of losing something that is now beyond reach.

You understand that you could possibly have been able to enjoy the finer intricacies of your object of desire much more if you hadn’t lived in constant fear of losing it. When you lose it, you see the futility of all the anxiety, the heartburn over it. You start looking for and finding ways of living without it. and the human mind and spirit, amazingly resilient as they are, discover reasons and conviction for why you are better off iwthout that which is now lost.

And that is the point at which you start enjoying the positive aspects of fearlessness. For, when you fear nothing, nobody can manipulate you anymore. You would be your own person and not dependent on anyone for your happiness or peace of mind. Your best bouts of courage are reserved for times when you have nothing to lose.

Most manipulations in relationships occur because we hand over the weapon of our fear to be used against us to those we love most. A lover is able to manipulate his beloved’s emotions by threatening withdrawal of love and care. He will sulk, not talk or withdraw caring gestures – all the things that a loved one values. So you givein, bow to the will of the lover, and make compromises, all for fear of losing that which is cherished.

On the other hand, if the lover overplays his hand and carries on the withdrawal act beyond a point, the beloved may finally get used to the idea of rejection and taking the loss as a fate accomplish, lose all fear in the relationship.

Fear of losing leaves you impotent not just in relationships but also in everyday situations such as your work life, with friends or relatives and even with strangers. It extends beyond material things to prestige, respect, happiness, peace of mind, etc.

At work, how often we let people get away with delivering shoddy work, doing an injustice to someone or cheating us just because we fear losing our peace of mind over an altercation! we allow incompetent people to underperform for fear of creating a situation and so losing our calm.

For courage is not just required for doing battle, but also for maintaining a sense of calm, for making money for living a good life – in short for everything. the ‘fight or flight’ syndrome kicks in irrespective of the fact whether the thing we fear losing in physical, mental or a financial threat.

Those who can learn the trick of transcending this fear of loss, would find the courage to enjoy that which they love most while they still retain it. What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.

Think of worst that can possibly happen. Get used to the idea and accept it. From there on, things can only get better… and you can acquire courage even as you retain the object you feared losing, for you fear that no more. You know loss is a possibility and you are moving ahead with that in mind.

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exists anywhere except in the mind.

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. – MAHATMA GANDHI