I didn't think of the humiliation factor, The only reason I thought of bringing her friend into it is to be there for emotional support, not to do my talking for me or anything like that, but your right, it's probably not a good idea overall..

I would just break it off. Call her on Skype, send her an email or whatever. It's like pulling off a band aid, it's better to just do it and not draw it out.

The sooner she knows the sooner she can move on with her life.

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FSUW are not for entry level daters FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it upKiss the girl, don't ask her first.

I broke it off last night.. While we were messaging, the subject came out about our differences on the trip and I used the opportunity to express how incompatible and indifferent we are and that it would never work, She was quite angry and hurt, she wrote that she would hang herself, it scared me a little and then I thought it could be a guilt trip, The next day I sent her a letter that I had prepared days ago, I modified it to fit our recent chat session, in the letter I never placed any blame on her but rather on myself for following my heart and not my head these last 20 months, that I jumped into it way too fast without really knowing one another.. She wrote back and thanked me, then later today she expressed that I made the right decision and how thankful she was for everything I've done for her and her daughter, that I'm a real man.. She wants me to be that father figure to her daughter, because her daughters been rejected twice, blood father and step, naturally I agreed to that. What she's most upset and worried about is the embarrassment of it all, I met her Mother, friends and bonded with her daughter.. She doesn't want to tell them any of them, and asked that I remain silent about it, that she would tell them in due time... She also wrote that if I change my mind, she wont hold this against me.

In the letter I wrote that I would continue to send 1K a month for the next 2 months allowing her time to find work, I thought if I told her 3 months she would be a lot more lax at finding work, if extends past 2 then I'd send her a 3rd. I did incorporate many of the suggestions I've read in this thread, it helped me a great deal and I'm very appreciative to all of you who contributed. Thank you!

I'm glad to hear the breakup wasn't ugly and she even thank you for ending it like a gentleman.

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I broke it off last night.. While we were messaging, the subject came out about our differences on the trip and I used the opportunity to express how incompatible and indifferent we are and that it would never work, She was quite angry and hurt, she wrote that she would hang herself, it scared me a little and then I thought it could be a guilt trip, The next day I sent her a letter that I had prepared days ago, I modified it to fit our recent chat session, in the letter I never placed any blame on her but rather on myself for following my heart and not my head these last 20 months, that I jumped into it way too fast without really knowing one another.. She wrote back and thanked me, then later today she expressed that I made the right decision and how thankful she was for everything I've done for her and her daughter, that I'm a real man.. She wants me to be that father figure to her daughter, because her daughters been rejected twice, blood father and step, naturally I agreed to that. What she's most upset and worried about is the embarrassment of it all, I met her Mother, friends and bonded with her daughter.. She doesn't want to tell them any of them, and asked that I remain silent about it, that she would tell them in due time... She also wrote that if I change my mind, she wont hold this against me.

In the letter I wrote that I would continue to send 1K a month for the next 2 months allowing her time to find work, I thought if I told her 3 months she would be a lot more lax at finding work, if extends past 2 then I'd send her a 3rd. I did incorporate many of the suggestions I've read in this thread, it helped me a great deal and I'm very appreciative to all of you who contributed. Thank you!

Nick

thanks for sharing your story!i think that you did your best!You are very polite, gentle and empathetic person!Wish you the best on your way!

thanks for sharing your story!i think that you did your best!You are very polite, gentle and empathetic person!Wish you the best on your way!

I agree with all that ! I have resisted commenting in thread but read all comments -- and agree with many on both sides of the ledger !One of the most difficult issues in every circumstance is for her dealing with family and friends . Too many guys seem to think they should be integrated prematurely into her world -- something I think very wrong fundamentally.( not suggesting that it was premature here)Meeting children-- and particularly growing close is a complication not needed by either party . The priority should be the strength of the he/she relationship -- and that does not take 5 minutes.The lady here deserves praise too-- easy to understand initial anger but it passed quickly and she started thinking with her head and behaved as a lady.Nice !Nick -- you are a gentleman -- it is obvious reading all this that you did not find it easy and thought of her feelings and not just yours.

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SLAVA UKRAYINI ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям! translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!! is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

I want to thank all of you again for your input and kind words, I try to do the right thing, although many will disagree on what the right thing is, trying to make it right is what matters...

A little update; Natasha wrote and informed she was able to get her old job back, but it will start the first week in January, she asked if I would extend payments to the end of the year and I agreed, I intended for 3 months anyway so it worked out.. She still writes and will ask if theirs any chance of it working out, told her no and that we both should move on with our lives... To avoid embarrassment, she told her friends and family the Visa was denied, which I think was a good idea on her part, they don't have to know the details.

On another note, I've been dating somebody new the last couple weeks, met her on Eharmony and she lives 20 minutes away, the chemistry is all there, she a lot like me in many ways, except her personality is far better than mine, She has a good job and is well established, A few years older than me, but it doesn't matter, the attraction is there... The funny part is, she's Ukrainian, born and raised in Chicago.. I told her about my 3 long distance relationships with Russian women, explained the reasons why they didn't work out, she said I should have looked for a Ukrainian girl from the start. )) From talking to both, the animosity between Ukrainians and Russians runs very deep.

I told her about my 3 long distance relationships with Russian women, explained the reasons why they didn't work out, she said I should have looked for a Ukrainian girl from the start.

Don't talk too much about past relationships. Some women may hold it against you if not now, in the future. Those relationships being over are supposed to be over.

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There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.