Flying solo takes courage, couple drinks

There aren't many options for gay men in the city aside from bars and online hookup sites. So if you want to meet someone for a potential long-term relationship, your choices are limited.

When I first moved to Chicago, I was single and in the dating scene. I didn't have many gay friends to hang out with, so if I went to bars, it was by myself. When standing alone in line to get into Cocktail, I felt as if the lighted arrow that hangs from the side of the building was pointing right down at me and flashing "Single! Single! Single!" for everyone to see.

I had a fear of staying out until last call, making no headway and then leaving empty-handed--again.

In order to even get myself into the bar I had to muster up my courage, march into the club and tell myself I wouldn't fail. But once inside the bar, it was another story. Being alone and surrounded by gaggles of gays gathered in groups can be very intimidating.

What I needed were my own gay friends to help extricate me from my shell. Most of the time after only one drink I chickened out and left.

The rainbow pylons that line North Halsted Street, which were erected as a symbol of pride, just left me feeling prostrate at the end of the night when I thought about the wasted hours spent drinking cosmos and the fact that I am still flying solo. I could have found an FB, but what I was looking for was a BF.

Eventually, I did find a great guy, and now we can go to the bars together. If I see a newbie alone in the corner, I make friends and try to ease him into the dating scene.