sabato 28 gennaio 2017

Common galactic ways of saying

A cousin of mine on Mishinta 16
believes that, since you're about to enter Orbit, you should better
know some of the most common galactic ways of saying, so...

“my ears spaghettized listening to
you”

used in Zofran systems to refer to
especially boring, or interesting, conversations

“it's like you were born on Phrobe!”

same as “you just can't stay still”,
normally referred to very lively children or mitosis in the Boron
systems (Phrobe is a famous party planet of the Boron confederation,
orbiting around a micro-couple of high-frequency black holes. Gravity
surges are so frenzied that it's impossible to stay still, you just
have to “Phrob”, “jump” endlessly)

“do not joke with Gravity!”

used for good reasons in every system,
every galaxy.

“it's harder to go ahead than to go
backward”

used in the other half of the galaxy in
a specular way. As known even to the street-level sentient creature,
right now your Galaxy is spinning around its nucleus at a speed of
several kilometres per second. As such, when you travel according to
the rotation, it always takes longer to cover the same distance than
when you travel in the opposite sense. That's because in the former
case your destination is moving away from you, in the latter it's
moving toward you.

Obviously, in the other half of the
Galaxy the saying is the opposite. All pilots know this.

“going to and fro saves no time”

Loth corollary of the previous way of
saying, unfortunately valid in the whole galaxy in the same way, as
Admirals know very well.

“die like a human”

it seems that this comes from some
pandimensional culture,

and I believe that humans say “die like a
rat”.

It means being trapped, prisoners of
yourselves on a peripheral planet, with no other pastime than bombing
or starving one another and poisoning your only living habitat. Many
species in the Galaxy placed bets on you humans. You could really
avoid dying like humans on your planet! I mean, I don't believe it at
all, indeed I placed my bet against you, but “at the top” they
seem to believe it, and my job is to tell you that it's possible.

To understand the cartoon you have to know very well this episode of the Human history:

With indescribable joy and unequanimal
Friendship, I pay the Galactic Council's respects to your honorable
species.