Who would believe it?! The real life Lorraine Kelly playing Innuendo Bingo. It's sure to be FILTH! Scott has some bother with the Big Weekend competition because, errr, he's not allowed to say "Big" or "Weekend". And Charlie Sloth plays Real Or No Real with a very surprising fact for anyone who's seen Jurassic Park.

"How To... Massage Your Avocado" 08 May 13

Scott has become obsessed with YouTube "How To" videos (about two years late, as always!) He's made his own. It's for you if you've ever struggled with your avocado, especially if you've had a hard one. Sara Cox is in for a game of Real Or No Real including an exciting "fact" for fans of Carol Vorderman. And Chris has got an important message for anyone who might bump into Scott when he's out and about in public.

Unfinished Songs And Innuendo Bingo 09 May 13

Chris is worried about the number of very short songs that are around at the moment. Are the artists just not trying? He's going to try and finish the songs for them. How hard can it be?? Gemma Cairney plays Innuendo Bingo which this week includes an unprecidented giggling fit from Chris. And Real Or No Real has important news for fans of Matty from The 1975.

Fish Pie Sue, Who Are You? 10 May 13

Scott makes some more listeners call back mysterious names from their phone book. They've completely forgotten who the person is, how they met them, and why they called them something like "Scouse Taco Man" or "Fish Pie Sue". Will an incredibly awkward phone call shed some light on the matter? Or will it just be cringes all round? Will Chris's £25 holiday to the Isle Of Fernandos be as disasterous as Scott predicts? Matt Edmondson almost reveals something he shouldn't about Simon Cowell in Real Or No Real. And why did Scott nearly get arrested when trying on jeans?

He's Back! Eurovision, Watford & Lolly Murs 20 May 13

Scott's back from Eurovision and Chris is back from his £25 holiday. How was Malmo and did Chris's hotel even exist when he got there? There's so much to discuss. Plus, Watford have been and done some good football. Chris wants to be an Olly Murs tribute act. And with Dan and Phil on a jet-setting internet excursion, Real Or No Real continues in their absence with an AmazingPhil And DanIsNotOnFire Special.

Jessica Lowndes On Innuendo Bingo 21 May 13

Scott is well excited about having Jessica Lowndes from 90210 in the studio to play Innuendo Bingo. Will Chris be able to restrain himself? Charlie Sloth is in to play Real Or No Real including some exciting "facts" about trains, the dangers of shaking it like a Polaroid picture and Ben & Jerry off'uv ice cream. And Chris is struggling to come up with ideas for his slightly dodgy merchandise stall at the Big Weekend.

Scott Bows To Pressure From #teamclare 22 May 13

Scott has his head in his hands once again as another of Chris's business ideas falls apart. This time it's his idea to sell Radio 1 presenter masks at the Big Weekend. No one will give him permission... except Clare from reception. But will pressure from listeners on Twitter force Scott to make Clare's mask available on the website? Also, Sara Cox worries that somewhere some monkeys are laughing at her as they play their own monkey version of Real Or No Real. Scott is scared of eating a banana in public. And how long are you allowed to wear jeans for?

Rihanna's Vuvuvzela Nightmare 23 May 12

Rihanna off'uv films is in to play Innunedo Bingo but cos she's going out tonight she wants a dry game. A VERY weird edition of the game follows including the use of a blow hole and a vuvuzela. You'll just have to listen! Also, one day to go til the Big Weekend and we're giving away the chance to introduce Olly Murs live on stage in a nail biting competition. And Chris has had a special Big Weekend hair cut. Plus, Greg James joins us for a game of Real Or No Real including a brilliant "fact" about one of Daft Punk's Dads.

Fish Pie Sues & Travel Drama! 24 May 13

All over the country, people are getting stressed about their Fish Pie Sues. Our listeners David and Steveo both have numbers in their phone with weird names and NO idea who they are. Scott makes them call the number to try and solve the mystery. Will we ever know who "SuSuWoWoYes" or "Rohan Scorpion Jack" are? Also, The Big Weekend 2013 is nearly here. Scott and Greg get ready to open the gates while Chris has a panic about whether he's packed properly. Meanwhile, the real panic is on down at Heathrow where Matt Edmondson, Huw Stephens, Alice Levine, Phil Taggert, Dan & Phil and an ensemble of the country's favourite pop acts are all stuck! Will they make it to Derry in time?

Lucy Spraggan Innuendo Bingo 28 May 13

Lucy Spraggan from last year's X Factor is in to play Innuendo Bingo and we're cracking out the beers in her honour. It's non alcoholic beer though and isn't quite to her taste. Which perhaps explains why she spits quite so much of it over Chris. Dan and Phil are in to talk Scott through another embarrassing episode in Chris's Big Weekend. And speaking of Big Weekends, Charlie Sloth, the best looking fat guy in the Universe is in for Real Or No Real. Will Scott avoid being the fattist once again?

Demi Lovato's Free Nipples (Or Nibbles?)! 29 May 13

Demi Lovato is in to chat to Scott. After a really honest chat about the highs and lows of her career so far, Chris corners her with a really challenging question about free nibbles in hotels. Or did he say nipples? It's very unclear. Also, Sara Cox is back to wang-on for England as she plays Real Or No Real. Dan and Phil make Chris do something really weird to Wretch 32. And Scott gets very excited about J-Lo's visit tomorrow.

J-Lo! B-Traits! S-Mills! C-Stark! 30 May 13

Jennifer Lopez is in to chat to Scott, fresh from her exciting (and revealing!) performance on Britain's Got Talent. Scott's trying to talk Chris into giving her one of his trade mark forehead kisses. Will he man up and give it a go?

The Saturdays Innuendo Bingo And Fish Pie Sue 31 May 13

Innuendo Bingo, with The Saturdays. What could be better?! How about if they spat all over Chris? And how about if he was kneeling down (to pretend to be the bin)? Almost too good isn't it? Dan and Phil arranged for Scott and Chris to play the game at The Big Weekend and bring in the video for us. Also, more of those weird numbers from your phone. Would you be brave enough to call and find out who they are? Another listener takes up the challenge. And Real Or No Real with some interesting news for tank drivers!

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In the Unofficial Mills Archives

Description MP3 Files Unofficial Mills is run and paid for by fans of the show. Large numbers of streams and downloads cost us money. Help us by donating to pay for hosting costs by donating via PayPal here. Zane talks to Scott about the swooning noise. To download to your computer or device Click this […]