To the EXPLETIVE DELETED who lopped off 9/10 of my collard plant, which I discovered abruptly last night when I went down to the garden with the intention of harvesting some collard greens to make for dinner:

I hope you at least cooked and ate the collards.

Because if you just pruned the plant because it was beginning to fall over the edge of the planter and might *gasp* have eventually touched the bumper of the car parked in front of it there? YOU SUCK.