by Carlos_ Xuma ·
Published September 22, 2015
· Updated September 24, 2015

It’s tough to be confident with girls when you suspect that maybe you’re not giving off a “confident” vibe.

If you suspect your own body is betraying you, how confident can you feel?

That’s why you need to know the secrets to decipher body language and know what signals are good – and which ones will mislead you.

Most of the people that I coach on body language are mostly interested in flirting signals of the opposite sex. Most body language signals and clues are fairly obvious if you spend any time observing people.

However, the more subtle indications of interest and attraction can be missed, so we’ll go through a few of the most important body language signals you can read.

What’s her body telling you? Body Language Signal 1: Emphasis

Men and women emphasize different aspects with body language.

Men try to appear taller, usually by sucking in their gut, and straightening up their spine.

Guys also try to puff up their chests. In general, guys try to highlight their muscles and stature.

On the other side, women emphasize their cleavage as much as possible.

Her chest is also a large part of her sexual attraction to men, so that’s why women work so hard to appear busty.

Everything from padded bras to fake boobs are fair game.

Women also try to draw attention to their hair, which is another primal indicator of femininity. They usually will touch their hair – finger-combing it – as well as touching and straightening it out.

She’ll also flip her hair over her shoulder to get attention. This move also serves to emphasize her face and profile – as well as her neck.

Women will frequently expose their neck – a primal demonstration of vulnerability – and she will cross her legs to emphasize her hips.

Not many guys realize that hips are a primal mating trigger that indicates a woman’s fertility.

What are her eyes saying to you? Body Language Sign 2: Read her gaze.

There’s a very predictable pattern when a girls makes eye contact with a guy she likes.

First, she makes eye contact with him – directly. Usually this lasts no longer than a second or so, but just long enough that he should know she was looking right at him.

Then, after he engages in conversation, she will go through a coy dance of eye contact. She will match his gaze, look from eye to eye, then at his lips, then looking down and away from him.

The only risk here is that men are often going to misinterpret this situation in one of two ways:

– He misreads her smile and gaze as being flirtatious, instead of friendly. Hey, we’re guys – we want to believe that sex is a motivator, right?

– He misreads her smile and gaze as being friendly when it was really flirtatious. Let’s face it, most women don’t understand how thick some guys are. And many women try and be too subtle with their signals.

The Other Parts Of Her Sexual Display – Body Language Signal 3: Watch her body.

Related to the neck are other areas of vulnerability – and emphasis – that you should watch for.

There are areas of physical vulnerability that a girl will expose, such as her neck (which I’ve already mentioned), her wrists, and throat. Any of these areas could be used against a person, so we tend to protect those zones.

The wrist flash is a big in indication of interest.

You should also watch out for her putting her hand behind her hair on the back of her neck. This is her way of stimulating a very erotic zone.

You may have heard that girls like to have their hair pulled – and especially during sex.

So what she does is manually stimulates the parts of her body that are “calling out” during your conversation.

Just keep in mind that you’ve really got to get her heavily aroused during conversation to get her to do this.

Still, it’s a valuable body language signal to watch out for.

At a minimum, when a woman touches you in ANY way, it indicates she’s at least comfortable with you. You can’t be sure she’s actually sexually interested in you until she gives you what I call a “love tap.”

A woman will playfullyhit you on the arm in some way when she’s feeling the challenge of attraction.

This is a good sign, especially if you’re teasing her, she hits you, and then says, “Stop!” in a playful way.

Another key here is to simply compare the amount of “touch time” she gives to you versus other men in the group. If you’re getting at least the same, you’re doing good. If you’re getting more, you’re doing better.

Remember – when a woman is feeling frustrated, she will act out physically.

And make no mistake: Frustration is a GOOD thing to make her feel.

Otherwise, you’ll wind up with neutral energy.

What about giving off the right body language?

This is just as important as reading her body language – and gives you twice the power that other people have who aren’t aware of how seductive body language works.

You have to know how to demonstrate confident, sexually dominant body language to women as well.

If you rely on your words alone, you’re going to lose a lot of the ability to attract a girl. Most guys make this mistake when they use pickup lines and other routines that just don’t work for them.

It’s not that the words don’t work – it’s that you need an attitude that matches the words. And 90% of your attitude is in your body language and vocal tone.

Let me share some tips on how to radiate confident body language to her, and how to guarantee a positive response.

Confident Body Language Signal: Touching her

This one is tricky because most guys don’t have a refined sense of how to touch a woman correctly. They tend towards over touching, which comes across as groping and fondling.

This happens mostly because guys are drawn to the images of women we see, and we get more and more rabid about feeling what we’re seeing.

Women are more touchy/feely by nature, and therefore tend to get a lot more of their physical needs met.

Men suppress their needs for physical contact, and as a result we go into starvation mode.

One way you can avoid this problem is by getting regular massages. I prefer Thai massages because they really go deep and leave me feeling wonderfully depleted and relaxed after it’s over.

Oh, and I usually have them done by cute Thai girls…but that’s just icing on the cake.

Another confident Body Language Signal: Fidgetation.

When a girl gets sexually flustered, or if she starts to feel attraction and has nowhere to put that eager energy, she will start to fidget. She has to act out the energy, and she’ll start to self-soothe.

Some of the signs are:

– Twirling her hair

– Playing with her drink or straw

– Playing with her bracelets or jewelry

Now, this fidgeting is usually accompanied by a smiling, cheery attitude. If she’s doing this kind of fidgeting, but you get a distinct pissy vibe, she could just be sick of the conversation.

So you need to be able to pick up on her aura of interest.

Squirming and fidgeting is good in a woman, but bad in a guy.

If you’re doing this, STOP. It’s unattractive.

You should have a very calm, smooth way of moving when you’re around a girl.

This includes:

– No fast motions – or jerky, spastic movements

– No darting eyes. Keep them soft and constant.

– No talking like you’re on crystal meth. Slow down.

– Keep your back straight

And the last Body language indication you should broadcast is: Stay Open!

Most guys don’t keep their body language open when they’re talking to girls. They fold their arms in front of their chest, or they hold up a drink between him and her.

This is a subconscious barrier that projects a defensive posture.

Guess what? You don’t need it.

One of the best things you can do to practice confident body language is to practice NOT putting your hands anywhere. Just let them hang at your sides.

Try it now. Just stand up, and let your hands hang down naturally.

I’ll bet you get a wave of: “This feels weird…”

That’s okay, keep them where they are. Fight the urge to let your arms cross, or stick your hands in your pockets, or clasp them in front or behind you.

You’ll get used to it. It’s only your body telling you (falsely) that you’re unprotected.

But it’s a great posture of security and self-confidence to NOT have to put your hands or arms somewhere.

As you can see, projecting confident body language is a priority for you. And it will help for you to be able to read her body language as well.

The combination of BOTH these skills is deadly when it comes to attracting girls.

If you want to create attraction with women, you’ll need to develop a good control of your body language.

This tells women you’ve got your act together and you’re in control of your life. That’s the kind of Alpha Male energy they crave – it’s like Chick Crack that women can’t get enough of.

Now you’re armed and dangerous…

And if you want even more tips on how to be a badass with your body language, I’ve got something you’ll definitely want to see: