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What Is Sex?

Your article on impotence (''Senior Class: How One Man Confronted and Conquered Impotence,'' Feb. 6), includes a wealth of good information but glosses over a basic question that too few urologists raise: ''Why do I need an erection?'' The obvious answer raises an even more basic question: ''What is sex?''

For centuries, we have defined sex as coitus; other sexual activities are described as foreplay leading up to ''the real thing.'' This makes sense if one's objective is to make a baby, but most older couples do not want that and instead seek closeness, wonderful sensations and intimacy. For this, an erection is not needed.

A number of years ago, Ann Landers got letters from 70,000 women who said they enjoyed hugging, cuddling and talking more than coitus. Why do we men (and lots of women) insist on intercourse? Mostly because we have been socialized that way.

RICHARD J. CROSS, M.D.

Princeton, N.J.

The writer, an emeritus professor of public health at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, has taught about human sexuality for 30 years.