News & Commentary

Indulgences

Our Right Wing Nutjob is Hotter Than Your Right Wing Nutjob

Ladies and gentlemen, your foreign correspondent brings you good tidings from Il Bel Paese – and I introduce you to our very own hot mess right wing nutjob, Mara Carfagna!

Adorable, isn’t she? Yeah, she sucks; I’ll tell you why in a minute. But lest you think I’m grasping at straws to make the “hottie” comparison, join me after the jump for a photo from her previous career.

You see, the Minister of Equal Opportunity used to be a show girl. In fact, only five short years ago, before she cut her hair in order to appeal to housewives and old people, much of her was already quite well known among the more discerning fans of year-end nudie “sexy calendars,” as they’re called here.

La Carfagna, who shockingly is only beautiful enough to have placed sixth in 1997’s Miss Italia beauty pageant, went on to have an illustrious six-year career in television, specifically as an employee of Mediaset – owned by – wait for it – a Mr. Silvio Berlusconi. The shows she hosted are of a kind that’s hard to explain if you don’t live here: Imagine if Tom Jones and Carmen Electra hosted an Oprah-style talk show, in the middle of which they would break into song and dancing girls come out and shake their asses at the camera, after which there would be a packaged tear-jerker piece about someone who’d lost their legs in a tram accident. These three-hour-long spectacles are on during Sunday lunchtime.

After entering into politics in 2004, she was tapped (heh) in May of 2008 to fight for the rights of the downtrodden and ignored as the Minister of Equal Opportunity. Since then, she has done/said/fucked up the following things:

2. She believes that feminism has made women (mistakenly) believe that freedom comes from independence. She instead believes that true freedom comes from discipline and rules. One can only imagine how she came to this conclusion.

3. She has stated that gays don’t need a Gay Pride parade/protest, because they no longer are discriminated against. Even though she refuses to consider gay marriage or even civil unions, as she instead is fighting for matrimonial rights to be based solely on the ability of the couple in question to reproduce.

4. In a televised interview defending her statement above, she called Rome the capital of Catholicism. While this is technically untrue, as the Vatican City state is the capital of Catholicism, she also apparently forgot it’s actually the capital of FREAKING ITALY.

5. In introducing an anti-prostitution bill, she called the world’s oldest profession “a shameful phenomenon” and said she doesn’t “understand how someone can sell their body… for money.”

43 comments:

Apparently there is an irony shortage in Italy as there is here. BTW, does “carfagna” mean anything nasty in Italian?

Benedick

11:19 am • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

I love everything about this post. It has humor, pathos, and an edifying moral. It’s just about perfect. Plus, she is WAY hotter than our nutjobs. Indeed, that is an ass even I can get behind. I would imagine, had she been McCain’s running mate (such as) we would now be calling her La Veep. Among other things.

I’ll admit, she’s way hotter – but not necessarily crazier – than our hottest wingnut. I also heard, perhaps from you, that Berlusconi is adept at placing attractive young women in positions of power.

SanFranLefty

11:32 am • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@RomeGirl: “Imagine if Tom Jones and Carmen Electra hosted an Oprah-style talk show, in the middle of which they would break into song and dancing girls come out and shake their asses at the camera, after which there would be a packaged tear-jerker piece about someone who’d lost their legs in a tram accident. These three-hour-long spectacles are on during Sunday lunchtime.”

You mean like Sabado Gigante?

Also, did she also get a breast reduction surgery along with the haircut? She looks way more flat-chested in her “now” photo.

@Dodgerblue: Naughty boy. Now La Carfagna will have to impose rules and discipline.

Nabisco

12:00 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@Dodgerblue: I knew that; didn’t he do the Larry King circuit some years back?

@SanFranLefty: I thought precisely those same two things, Lefty. What’s the name of the “news show” on TV Azteca (which may run on Univision), hosted by two totally hot latinas? Primer Impacto, that’s it! It never matters what the story is, or if the sound is even on.

Mistress Cynica

12:01 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

Cray-zee eyes really are the international language of wingnuts.

Nabisco

12:01 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@RomeGirl: I think the next Stinque Award for Right Wingnuttery – European Edition should be named La Carfana.

Benedick

12:01 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@RomeGirl: Charming. No doubt snapped while she was rolling gnocchi, or something equally delectable. I don’t think we should confuse her inability to keep her clothes on with selling her body or anything sordid like that. I’m reminded of the way the men in Bollywood movies seem unable to work the buttons on their shirts. I daresay her clothes just floated away on a breeze scented with frangipani. Mind you, she’s chic enough now. Especially compared to our native clodpoles who often get their shower curtains confused with formal wear. Plus, she looks real. Unlike, say, Stormy. Now that would be a ticket. They could wrestle for who gets to be on top. Perhaps with a little oil. Competition to be part of their press entourage would be pretty stiff, I imagine.

Of course you can’t have freedom without discipline and rules. Otherwise, people would believe that freedom allows them to do whatever they like, whenever they like, and that would just lead to chaos. It can’t be any other way.

How could anyone ever conclude otherwise?

RomeGirl

12:22 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@Agostino: She’s insinuating that the rules and discipline would naturally come from men.

Secondly, independence and chaos have nothing to do with each other, in this context.

@RomeGirl: The article about the sexytalk scandal is hilarious. What American newspaper (or online outlet) would say the equivalent of “they were overheard making frequent reference to oral sex – which Americans call ‘blowjobs‘”?

redmanlaw

12:49 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@SanFranLefty: I hate mcawful, although I drank heavily on his dime one night, which also set into motion changes affecting several lives.

@redmanlaw: Would telling the rest of the story require earmuffing RML Jr. like in Old School?

redmanlaw

1:15 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@mellbell: Back when I was kind of a wheel with the state Demrats, I went to a national meeting of state chairs and vice chairs, met a state party executive director and recruited her when our XD position opened up. Huge conflict with our incompetent (but wealthy) new state chair. The XD left, got a job elsewhere as a consultant, got pregnant in a short term relationship, moved again, met new husband and is stirring shit up and raising her son and enjoying life. So, seven lives affected from going to that one meeting and hitting the party boat with T Mc. She’s friends w/Mrs RML also.

redmanlaw

1:31 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

breaking: Shooting at Holocaust Museum

U.S. Park Police in Washington D.C. confirm three people have been shot at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum Wednesday afternoon.

D.C. police also said they had been called to the area for the report of a shooting.

Few details were immediately available, including the condition of the victims. There is no word on if the suspect has been apprehended.

WASHINGTON – At least two people are wounded after a shootout at the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Southwest Washington Wednesday afternoon, D.C. police assistant Chief Diane Groomes told ABC 7 News.
D.C. police spokeswoman Traci Hughes says a person walked into the museum with a rifle and shot a guard. Hughes says the shooter was also shot.

Groomes said one person was shot inside the building and one person was shot outside. A third person may have been wounded.

D.C. Fire and EMS spokesman Alan Etter told CNN that two men were shot and a third person was injured by glass. That third victim was not taken to the hospital, Etter said.

Hughes says the conditions of the people who were shot were not immediately known. Both were being rushed to a hospital.

Groomes said one person was in custody; it’s unclear if she was referring to the wounded gunman.

The museum normally has a heavy security presence with guards positioned both inside and outside the museum. All visitors are required to pass through metal detectors at the entrance, and bags are screened.

The museum, located just off the National Mall near the Washington Monument, is a popular tourist attraction. It draws about 1.7 million visitors each year.

ABC 7 News has multiple crews on the scene. Check back for further updates.

Latest MSNBC says shooter a white male born in 1920 … other video up now.

FlyingChainSaw

7:13 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

It is only great that Stinque.com has its own correspondent to wail the shit out of Berlusconi and his media tartlettes. She looks like a concentration camp victim in the first picture. I dunno why she doesn’t keep the persona exhibited in photo number two. It’s one thing to nod your head earnestly when someone tells you their tale of woe but if you really want to bag the big ratings, Mara, you need drama, interviewing all your guests in a sweaty, trembling lather and confessing to them that their pain and celebrity makes you want to fuck them before dancing the lambada and lashing their genitals with your hair.

RomeGirl

7:19 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Yeah, she did that for six years. Now she’s pissing off gays and prostitutes. No doubt she’ll go back to cazzate once Il Berlusca gets tired of her. I mean, she’s in her early 30s – that’s way old for him.

FlyingChainSaw

7:33 pm • Wednesday • June 10, 2009

@RomeGirl: Right, he got her to lose so much weight so she has the body of an 11 year old. Obviously, he is expressing his dissatisfaction at her maturity.