Survey reveals the slimy underbelly

American voters don't understand the very real threat of the Lizard People. Don't they see on the Internet about those shape-shifting reptilian people seeking to rule the world?

A nationwide survey conducted by Public Policy Polling finds only 4 percent of American voters believethe Lizard People are taking human form to take power. Only 4 percent.

What's this country coming to?

What would the Founding Fathers think? OK. If this small percentage understanding what'sright there on the Internet is reflective of the whole voting age population, it does mean that about 10 million adults in this country realize the threat.A start. But there should bemore, what with the photographic and scientific proof on the Internet.

What withthe clear identification of Lizard conspirators like George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth and Justin Bieber.

I mean, it's on the Internet.

This isn't just something in the lamestream media.You don't find it in suspect publications like the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times or the Chicago Tribune or hear about it from some TV anchor like Brian Williams.

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Some findings are encouraging in the poll, conducted March 27- 30. And of course there are differences along partisan lines.

Twenty percent of Republican voters believe that President Obama is the Antichrist and another 17 percent of

them aren't sure. So more than one in three Republican voters believe or suspect that Obama is the Antichrist.This encourages the Republican members of Congress that they elect to oppose Obama at every turn.

Only 6 percent of Democratic voters believe Obama is the Antichrist. It's kind of interesting that most of them with that view still voted for Obama over Mitt Romney.

One in four of Democratic voters believes or thinks it's possible that the government of George W. Bush knowingly allowed the attacks of 9/11 to happen.

This encourages the Democratic members of Congress that they elect to oppose the GOP as evil.Wow, letting planes smash into the twin towers and the Pentagon.

But there are big differences between the parties on other matters. Among Republican voters, 58 percentbelieve global warming is a hoax and another 16 percent aren't sure.

Among Democrats, only 11 percent believe it's a hoax and another 12 percent aren't sure.

Is there a conspiracy for a New World Order? The"yes" percentages: Republicans, 34; Democrats, 15.

The Iraq war likely was still on voters' minds in thepresidential election. Sixtynine percent of those who voted for Obama said they believe President Bush intentionally misled the public about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Not just mistakenly. Knowingly.Only 18 percent of voters for Romney held that belief. Is there hope for the future?

Well, while only 6 percent in the survey believe Osama bin Laden is still alive, that belief was held by 21 percent of voters ages 18-29. And while 7 percent overall believe the moon landing was fake,11 percent of the younger voters believe it was.

Back to the deploring failure to understand the threat of the Lizard People.

Only 4 percent. Although among younger voters it was 13 percent. And among voters describing themselves as very conservative it was 11 percent.

Maybe the young and the very conservative are more familiar with Internet proof provided by the great conspiracy theorist David Icke and sites with the history of the Lizard People.

It seems that they co-existed with humans into the 12th century B.C. and joined in fighting the Mongoloids, described as a "terrible race of Mongs and Loids."The Mongs and Loids were driven into the oceans by the humanlizard army and "slowly evolved into jellyfish, forever taking their revenge by stinging unsuspecting people at the beach."

Sure, some of this could be satire, but that won't stop American voters determined to learn of this threat.

Would be interesting to know how many members of Congress have the same beliefs as so many of the voters who selected them.

Jack Colwell is a columnist for The Tribune. Write to him in care of The Tribune or by e-mail at jcolwell@comcast.net.