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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

Very unfortunate, indeed.

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

55 responses so far ↓

Upon being figured out, the Mad Bomber realized she would have to go on the lam. After changing her name and sufficiently hiding her mad bombing tendencies for a long enough period of time, she furtively looked around herself as she entered the women’s room.

It was empty. Good. She did her dirty deed and left. She smiled as she left. They’d eventually become suspicious. Of course, it would take awhile. But by then she’d be in Mexico, and she could blame it on the water…

Nah, my friend’s cat pissed ON TOP OF HER STOVE. And she didn’t realize it until she turned on a burner to cook. Ugh. She had to throw out the stove and bought one of those ranges with the flat glass cooktops, just in case it happened again.

I’ll tell ya, it would NEVER happen again, because I would no longer own a cat.

A few years ago, I decided my cuddly cat needed a companion. A nice lady offered me a sweet cat about my cat’s age. She let us cuddle with her and pet her on both occassions we saw her. But when we took her home, she went ballistic. She tried to attack me, my cat and my husband. We put our cat in the back yard for a while to keep her safe and give the new cat time to adjust. Well she calmed down, checked out the surroundings and dropped a massive load in my hallway. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it looked like dog poop and stunk up my whole house. She never did warm up to us, so we had to return her to her other family (as we were asked to do if it didn’t work out). I learned two things from this experience…1.) you only have a small window of time to socialize a cat, and 2.) a litter box 2 feet away means nothing to a pissed off cat.

At my dance studio, we once had a serial pee-ist in the men’s bathroom. There would be pee everywhere. The ceiling, the walls, the mirrors and sink. We called him The Pee Pee Bandit. He was eventually caught in the act while one of the instructors was in a stall. It turns out it was a 10 year old boy who was the instructor’s own student. Awkward parent-teacher meeting.

Sadly I have had this happen to me. I was in Thailand and suffering from dysentery. I so wanted to make the toilet. I was almost there… I still remember to this day the horrible feeling I had leaning against the wall, crying and apologizing to the bathroom attendant. I can only think this poor woman has some illness. or maybe she hates her boss/co-workers with a passion..

have to say I was so intrigued by your comment that I had to do me a google search and no, not one single site I visited listing signs of sexual or child abuse mentioned pooping on the floor. Lots of other stuff but not this.

Probably turn out to be someone on the cleaning crew anyway. Those people don’t have home toilets. Just doing what comes naturally.

Well, that’s what the Jr High faculty told us when they had a Mad Crapper on the loose. The kid would usually smear it around right before long weekends and vacations, we were told this was their anxiety about having to probably be with their abuser for an extended period of time.

I’ve shit on the floor in the stall in public. Why? To avoid the splashback from the public toilet. I’m not a public shitter, and the few times I did do it in public, it was hovering in the stall corner like an animal. I just don’t care about anyone but me.

In case you are for real…feel free to use the patented method shown in #5.
No need to send any royalties.
Not sure I’d trust your cyber-currency to be clean, much less paper money.

A few questions though:
1) On those rare occasions when you do find it necessary to shit in a public facility, do you use the public toilet paper that is there or do you carry an emergency supply ? Do you at least put the used paper in the toilet ?

2) What sort of neighborhoods do you tend to frequent such that the toilets are so dirty-appearing that you are truly concerned about germs splashing up and infiltrating your body via your posterior, where there presumably is still a plug-o-poop preventing any incursions ?

3) Is your toilet at home kept sparklingly clean by comparison, or is it just the home-field familiarity that makes you less anxious, less like an animal hovering in the stall corner ? If it is that much cleaner, what is your approximate monthly outlay for disinfectants and the like ?

Sorry if these seem like inappropriate prying, but you’re the first person I’ve met who claimed to have purposely aimed for a dry LZ when an aqueous one was available.

Yeah, no kidding. I never understood people who are afraid of public toilets. I’ve been pooping in them for decades. I’ve never put paper on the seat. I just sit and do my business. And not once have I gotten sick from it.

I don’t get germaphobes. Don’t they realize if they’re obsessive about avoiding germs, their bodies become MORE susceptible to infection? Immune systems need practice to keep working.

You should just buy yourself some of those pet pads…you know, the ones you use when you are house training a dog. Even if you ended up leaving it on the floor anyway, it would make things easier for the unfortunate person who has to clean up after you.

Haven’t shit in public since I drank a fifth of black Bacardi the night before going to work at 5am. Found myself at Taco Bell (locking bathroom, one man occupancy, that is why it was chosen) crouched in the corner. That was six years ago. The toilets in my neighborhoods appear clean, but I’ve urinated in enough of them to see them at their worst now and then, so I won’t sit. I don’t carry Toilet Paper, since I am optimistic that I will not be needing it. I’m not obsessive about my home toilet, but I do a regular spray of lysol here and there. I’m not worried about the home field, since it is a closed ecosystem and whatever is in the house, I’ve already been exposed to.

Oh, forgot: Paper in the toilet or on the floor with the expelled feces? Well, if I’m feeling generous, in the toilet, but I still don’t flush. Now had I been to Taco Bell recently and they had given me poor service or otherwise pissed me off, I would be stringing out too much paper and throwing it on the floor, half-in, half-out of the toilet, or maybe cover up the whole pile of feces with it in order to give someone a surprise once they got into cleaning up what they thought was just a dry mess of paper. So it depends.

when I was in high school, I bussed tables at a well-known breakfast-all-day restaurant. while closing one night, I went into the women’s room to clean it. I opened one of the stall doors to discover that some woman (I am assuming) had her period all over the floor and walls of the stall.

When I was a night server at Pizza Hut we had something similar happen. An *extremely* obese woman (we’re talking 550-575 lbs…about a dinner away from being confined to a hospital bed) came in for the buffet. She went to the restroom before she left and then rushed (as much as someone her size can rush) out. A few minutes later one of my co-workers took a bathroom break and found the mess. I think it’s more difficult for very overweight people to tell when they’re “centered” on the toilet and so they mess over the side or down the front. Maybe that was the case here?

I learn more than I could possibly want to know about humanity from PAN comments. I’m going to be obsessed now whenever I’m in a restaurant, wondering if any mad poopers are on the loose and if the place is reeking with germs.

In the cat world, I recently adopted a tubby food-obsessed sweetie who, unfortunately, is a half pooper. This is the “poop liquidy mess on the inside edge of the litter box” technique, and “make sure that some of it also lands outside the box. ”

It would be nice if there was a Match.com type of site for cats looking for homes where the cats could list things like “Loves food,” “Loves snuggles and walks in the yard,” “Loves to half poop in the litter box,” and then you would know what you’re getting into.

Fortunately, he is adorable in almost every other respect, and he’s my first Basement Cat, so I must keep him! (Silky-haired black cat.)

My 12-year-old Siamese mix has having squitters. We’ve been to the vet and we don’t know what’s causing it. He often can’t make it to the litter box, and just lets go wherever he is. To make matters worse, 1) he’s longhaired, 2) he’s gotten slipshod about grooming himself as he’s gotten older, and 3) he wants to climb into bed with us at night and love on us, poor baby.

Wouldn’t get rid of him for anything, but with animals, sometimes it’s a good thing that you’re already committed to the relationship!

Leaving one’s feces outside the “proper receptacle” can be a symptom of sexual abuse. Children who are victims of rape, forced incest and/or sexual abuse often leave their feces on the floor of a bathroom or spread them on the walls. It is a very sad cry for help.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.