One of the most annoying things about getting engaged is all the backseat married couples that will start giving you advice. Hell, most of the people who give you advice aren’t even married. You’ll start hearing some advice from your family, your friends, all of your co-workers and even strangers that notice the nice new rock on your hand. This can all be a bit too much when you’re just trying to make a wedding work and get through a wedding without breaking the bank.

The burden of the wedding is already heavy on your mind and the last thing you need is someone telling you exactly how stressful this is going to be for you. So what do you do? What are some real tips that are from real couples that were learned the hard way?

First, there’s your photographer. While most photographers know what they’re doing, you have go to direct him. People that have a passion for art like most career photographers have a love and passion for simplicity, the angles of a picture and the general beauty of a situation surrounding the picture. They often get lost in their own creativity and imagination. This isn’t a bad thing per se but sometimes, they need guidance.

You have got to direct your photographer on where to go, who to photograph, how many pictures to take and what they should be doing. This isn’t to say they’re dumb people but they often just get lost in their own train of thought. The next thing you’ll want to do is start brushing up on the wedding etiquette. You have to be aware and know by now that not one single wedding has gone off completely without a hitch. There are so many different things that can go wrong at a wedding.

One relative that hasn’t seen another relative in a long time might say something to offend them, there could be a fight, there could be someone who’s too smashed to be there, etc. the worst case scenario is that the husband gets cold feet and leaves the bride at the altar but the chance of that happening is actually relatively low and never really happens (statistically). You need to keep your cool and maintain some nice etiquette no matter how the dire situation is.

Then there’s the perfect wedding dress. Do you know how hard it is for women to choose anything based on the first thing they see? Hell, even driving through the drive thru, women have hard enough of a time just trying to order some food based on a menu of food presented to them. So now imagine if you will, there are thousands of dress styles available to them and they can even custom make their own. This process can take weeks or even months for women to make up their mind. Involve your friends and family to help you pick the perfect dress for your big day. Don’t spend months stressing on something like a dress you’re only going to wear once.