11.19.2009

Thankful Thursday/ Episode 34

I may be coming to the end of my time in my current job. While I love what I do and who I work for, there are several reasons why it feels like my exit music has been cued.

It is a choice I've been agonizing over.

Which brings us to the thankful part. One night we (and this "we" includes some fun friends) were watching what is quite possibly my favorite new show of the season, Glee. Are you watching it? I hope so, it is really fantastic. In fact, that show alone could be what I'm thankful for today. But it's not. Maybe next week. Anyway, during a non-musical moment one of the teachers, Mr. Schuester, was waxing poetic about life. He explained that life isn't just the result of one big decision, but instead a series of many, many decisions. We hopefully learn and grow from the decisions we make and continue to move forward. (Ooooor as is the case in my life, we occasionally refuse to learn from our decisions and are doomed to make them over and over again. But I hope that isn't what this post is about.) My point is what his point was, life is a series of decisions. Getting wound up long term on any ONE decision is quite possibly a waste of time and energy.

Can I just say, "woo hoo"?!?! Do I hear a collective sigh? That takes a load off my shoulders. Are you with me? How stressful would it be if our whole lives depended on only ONE or any ONE of the million or so choices we make every day? How on earth could we ever make ANY decision? I mean talk about paralyzing pressure! Sometimes it feels like a choice is absolutely central to life as we know it. But, with a little distance that isn't typically the case. Still, it's so easy to get caught up in that thinking when we're chest high in the thick of it.

At times I tell myself whatever choice I make about my job is going to impact EVERYTHING. When really, it isn't. This decision, whether I stay or go, is just a drop in the bucket of my life. Sure, it doesn't feel like that right now. But it is. My workplace existed long before I came on the scene, and Lord willing, it will exist long after I leave. And no matter what I decide, I'll have to face the consequences of my decision and move forward to make many, many more choices in the years to come... and that's life, right? It's actually pretty cool that we aren't defined by any one choice. Embracing that truth allows for a LOT more perspective and a clearer head when making decisions.

Now look, before you get all up in arms... I don't say that to make light of serious decisions that we are faced with in our lives. Careful thought, prayer and planning need to go into major decisions. Agreed? But part of the beauty of trusting God - or a higher power, or whatever you want to call Him - is that ultimately HE'S in control. And for me, as a Christian, that's totally freeing. I have the honor of knowing that I can't mess up HIS plan - even all those times that I make the proverbial "wrong" decision. It releases some pressure knowing somebody's watching my back and has all the bases covered.

Possibly not what Mr. Schuester meant to communicate about decisions when he after-school-special'd Finn, but it was my take away.

So today, I am thankful.

1 comment:

Dang it Molly! It is with tears in my eyes that I post this, but not for the reasons you think. I could write a lot of things here, about how proud I am of you, which I am, or I could say how much I'd misss you, if it is your time to leave your job, but I need to say something else. For 5 years, I have allowed myself to be defined by one choice I made. Falling to trust God off and on that my choice would not alter his plans for my life, and in one post written by you I have been given a taste of freedom! Thank you!