How do the people who no longer interested in sex expect there partner to cope ?

As A single woman I am approached by many married men who are in long term ,more then 15-20 year marriages, who are looking for sex and conversation they love their wive's and don't want to divorce them but still desire sexual release other then masturbation . Allot want oral sex and some do want regular sex . It has me thinking though what do the people who are no longer interested in sex, men and woman , expect their partner's to do to meet their sexual need's ? I know relationship's aren't just about sex as I said most of the men who approach me do not want to divorce their wive's they are only unhappy because let's face it masturbation grow's old you miss the touch of the other person . Oh so you know I don't sleep with them I try to encourage them to do the right thing , though I do know they will find someone or pay someone to have sex with them . It really made me think though because no one want's to have A cheating spouse , but what else are they to do ?
This is just A question which I hope to gain insight on .

You present a very good question. I am estranged from my wife of 28 years (we separated 2 years ago, but not have filed legal separation papers). The first 10 years of our marriage were full of fun and sexual vigor, but, as time progressed, she lost interest in sex and, more importantly, intimacy (I'm a very romantic type person). I did end up cheating on her twice, once casually, the second time a bit more seriously. I didn't feel good about it emotionally, because I did (and still do) love her, but I had needs and desires she could not provide. People change over time. There IS a difference between a man who seeks out cheating as a hobby versus a man that is lonely and looking for honest attention and sexual/sensual fulfillment.

To me, it's a form of abuse to deny a spouse sex, short of a health issue that would somehow preclude it -- "I don't want to give you intimacy anymore, but I won't allow you to get it from someone else, either." Many couples reach a "comfort zone" where the desire cools off, but it seems downright cruel to withhold it entirely. It leads to resentment on one or both spouses' parts, demanding sex or refusing it. The denied partner (which, let's face it, is the man the vast majority of the time) will probably resort to porn and/or masturbation or, more aggressively, an affair or paying for sex.

If I knew the answer that would rekindle a satisfactory sex life for both spouses, I would probably be the richest marriage counselor on the planet.

Cheating on or Paying for sex because you are not getting it at home certainly is not the answer AT all.. It is actually known as hypoactive sexual desire.. "about 25% of all americans, a third of women and a fifth of the men suffer from it... an average of 15-20% of couples are within a sexless marriage"..

Most women lose interest due to self confidence, menopause and age... Men erectile dysfunction, age..

Physical ailments such as heart, injury, arthritis play a small percentage in both male and females reasons for a loss of interest

My study of a 100 men and women have proven this... Based on my own actual painstaking study of asking 100 different men and women personal intimate questions based on sex and communication within the marriage have shown these results.. Other studies may vary.

women will leave before having an affair at 15%, 20% will have the affair, and 40% will stay and stick it out.. 25% will turn to toys and other self masterbation. The men will leave at 5%, 35% will stay yet carry on an affair, 35% will turn to porn and sites such as this one and 25% will pay for sexual interaction, via strip clubs, escort services, and or prostitution.. None of the women said they would pay for any type of sexual interaction.

An eye opener for sure...

Back to the question though.. Regardless of whether one is interested or not, sex should not be denied to your spouse whether it be a woman or a man doing the denying.. relationships should be kept fun and exciting with in our verbal communication as well as sensual communication.. NO one should be lacking in any of these things within the relationship..

I can relate to this as a married 30+ years guy. Like most, it started with fireworks and romance. 15 years in: work stress took us over and my wife started having medical issues. We became the living together with no intimacy couple. Neither of us were into sex except I'd masturbate a couple times a week (not sure about her). We talked about divorce.

Then, in a turn a fate my wife found a great integrative medicine doctor that got her medical issues in check. At the same time he also tested me for low testosterone. It's been 5 years since that turn and all I can say is: We fuck like rabbits! We talk about sex. We look up interesting toy reviews and share a bit of porn together. We enjoy sex like there's no tommorrow (see my about me page and you'll see where I'm going with this).

Bottom line: Being sexless is a symptom that has to be addressed before you cheat or leave. I'm glad we figured that out!

It doesn't always have to be that way. We've been together 30 years, but married 23 this year. We have more sex now than when we met. These days it's just about daily we have some form of sex. About 10 years ago it was not so good. It was to the point there was going to be a change or I was out. I decided that because of our time together, and the kids, I needed to make a strong push for change before blowing it up.

I realized the only one I can control is me. I looked at myself physically and in the way I conducted myself and realized I wouldn't want to fuck me either. I wasn't leading this family. I was not leading my wife.

I got my shit together, never said a word to her, just worked my ass off to be the best I could be. Who I was supposed to be. After about six months things began to change in the marriage and the bedroom. It has progressed to where we are today. She went from having to lead and make the decisions (because I was lazy and afraid of upsetting her leading to even less sex)to her following my lead, and becoming the strong but submissive wife she wanted to be. In conversations since the change, she has said that I was who she wanted me to be in the beginning, but I turned into a pussy at some point when it came to her (I thought women liked being in control, The old "happy wife happy life." Mine did not want that). She welcomed me back.

The key is to realize you cannot change other people, you can only control yourself. Your change will either inspire theirs or not.

To answer your question, I put up with it for a long time, but I had enough. I realized life was too short to live without the marriage and sex you want.