The author if this blog has been called all kinds of names. Readers of this blog,
however, have called him "brilliant," "bitchy," "witty," "insightful," and even
"acerbic." You be the judge and tell him what you think.

"If Suzy Size can panhandle to pay for trips around Asia, then make money on a book she wrote about all the sex she has on the road, I
am not too shy to ask for donations to pay for my face lift."

January 2014Tomatoes & Democracy
The first installment of Douglas' Six+ month analysis of Thailand's political crisisFebruary through June (and maybe beyond) require registration. To add your nameto the distribution list CLICK HERE

5 April 2007My Boyfriend is Not Good Enough

Like baseball great Yogi Berra once said, "It's deja vous
all over again,"

After
waiting a year and a half my boyfriend Nut and I decided to make a second
attempt to get a visa for him to visit the United States. I really wanted him to
see my country and where I came from. Call me selfish, but I wanted to enjoy
seeing him get excited about the Statue of Liberty, the Museum of Modern Art,
the Golden Gate Bridge, the wine country. I wanted to see him tuck into a
pastrami sandwich at Katz's, a plate of enchiladas in San Diego, and a
real New York Steak in Ukiah. I wanted to see him go berserk in a Costco store.
But most important, I want him to meet my mother. They exchange email and phone
calls. She's in her eighties and no longer able making the long trip to
Thailand. Since Nut and I have been together for five years I want badly for
them to meet at last. After that, we planned to return to Thailand. Who
wouldn't?

So we put a year into doing things the right way. The
right bank account. The right paperwork. The right invitation letters. The right
employment credentials. One of our staff who was successful at getting a visa
coached Nut for weeks so he would be poised and well prepared when it came time
for the interview.

I joined him for the first interview. We stood in line
(queued up) on the street beginning at 06:30 and finally stepped up to the
bullet-proof window at around 10:30. The "interview" took less than one minute.
"Where do you plan to stay during your trip?" the young man hind the glass
asked. "With my friend and his mother."

Bang. What we eventually came to call the "Boyfriends Not
Allowed in America" stamp went into his passport. I was devastated. Nut clamed
not to be upset but it did not take very long for his now-soiled passport to
fall accidentally into the shredder. (Again.)

All of our friends and plenty of complete strangers had
advice about the second interview. I should go with him. I should not go. Get a
business visa. Don't get a business visa. In the end, I chose not to go with
him. He was well prepared and everyone who was rooting for him expected him to
get the visa this time.

He didn't of course. The interview lasted 45 seconds. The
Young Republican behind the glass barely tossed through all of the
carefully-prepared documents.

"Douglas is your partner?"

"Yes, five years."

Bang.
Another Boyfriends Not Allowed stamp. Nut claims
not to be upset, but I know he is. He says he is more upset about the $200 in
application fees all of this has cost me. Soon thereafter he ran off to be with
his own elderly mother in Lampang. I do not blame him.

Official homophobia? You bet it is. The visa process at
the United States Embassy in Bangkok is demeaning for all Thai applicants. This
has not been good for Nut's self esteem, of course. "I am not good enough to go
to America," he told me. Why is it gay men seem to be singled out for official
disapproval, particularly if they are in stable relationships with U.S.
citizens?

Americans should be ashamed of that.

I have written Senator Diane Feinstein, Senator Nancy
Pelosi and Barbara Boxer, my representative in Congress. In the end that will
probably have been a worthless exercise. There is plenty of official homophobia
for them to deal with at home, and everyone is so busy running for reelection or
higher offices that it hard to say what is high on anyone's list of priorities
of our. Those of us who have not lost our memories completely remember that some
of our "friends" in Washington have, at best, just used us and we remember
better than they do when their own political futures rose and fell with the
support of our community. And why should anyone care what happens to some Thai
person who can not even vote?

If you are a U.S. citizen, maybe
you should.

Personally, I am sick and tired of being an American. The
world hates us. Imbeciles run our government. The President of the United States
is a complete moron. Self-proclaimed "Christians" try to police everyone else's
morality. It seems the American government has a national policy is to cheat,
slaughter and manipulate cultures they know nothing about in the name of
"democracy," something I am not sure really exists anyway. All of the
things that made us believe in America have been stolen from us by people who
put profits from a war and from the wholesale destruction of our planet above
all else. And what do we get in exchange? A flag--usually folded and placed upon
the top of a coffin.

America is represented in Thailand by unmarried,
fifty-something bear clone U.S. Ambassador Ralph Boyce. You have to wonder what
he thinks about his government's official policy of hate when it comes to Thai
homosexuals, and whether "career diplomats" are obliged to be spineless when it
comes to the most fundamental business of kindness, fairness and compassion.
Then again, he is a career U.S. government bureaucrat and such people are seldom
paid to do much thinking as long as their salary check and their pension are
worth more to them than the fundamental values that Americans assume made their
country great.

Do you think Italy would take me? South Africa sounds
good. But suppose Monaco annexed West Hollywood, San Francisco, Palm Springs,
West Palm Beach and what is left of Fire Island. Now there's an idea! The
world's first lavender passport.