How to Banish Your Fear of Success in Just 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever wondered why you haven’t reached the level of success you want in life? Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. This is a powerful fear, but it’s not what I’ve ultimately seen hold people back in all my years of coaching. Instead, for a lot of people, it’s not a fear of failure holding them back… It’s a fear of success. How do you conquer fear of that size? Let me explain below.

Conquer Fear of Success in 3 Easy Steps

When you’re afraid of success, you can find yourself getting very close to your goals — and then suddenly falling short. You might not even know why — or what you’re really afraid of.

Recently I had a conversation about this with a student during one of my Tough Love Mentoring calls. I discussed why this happens… and the three steps you can take to identify, understand, and overcome your fears today.

When you find yourself stumbling on the path to success, there are three elements you need to do if you really want to create change and conquer fear. The first element is Awareness. The second is Understanding. And the third? That’s where you Reprogram or Rewire yourself in order to change your conditioning.

Let’s take a look at each of those three steps to conquer fear in more detail…

Step 1 — Awareness: Get to Know Your Fear

You may tell yourself: “I have a fear of success.” However, you still haven’t figured out what it is about success that’s so scary. What’s the story in your head that’s really holding you back? Until you identify it, you’ll never be able to move on.

So what do you do? If you have a fear of success or even failure, narrow it down.

Ask yourself: what is the belief at the core of your fear? Write down exactly what your mind is saying. I’m not talking about general terms – I want you to dig deep and be as specific as possible. What are you afraid will happen?

Some of the most common fears I hear are things like this:

“If I succeed, everyone’s going to want something from me.”

“I’m going to have to take care of my whole family, and I don’t want that responsibility.”

“I’m going to have to pay too much in taxes, and I hate taxes.”

Once you nail down what you’re really afraid of, it’s time for the next step…

Step 2 — Understanding: Why Your Fears Aren’t Real

Now there’s one thing that’s really important to understand if you want to be successful… Everything you’re telling yourself right now is complete freaking bulls**t!

It’s made up by your mind itself. Fear isn’t real.

Now, I mentioned earlier that this came up during a recent coaching call. During that call, one of my students disagreed with me on this. She told me, “Not all fear is bulls**t. I don’t believe that.” I still think I’m right, so let me explain what I mean when I talk about fear.

What is the definition of fear? It’s the anticipation of pain. And when you’re anticipating something, is that past, present or future? It’s not the past or the present. Anticipation is the future. But it isn’t the actual future – it’s the future you’re imagining. Guess what? That future doesn’t exist — yet.

That’s what I mean by bulls**t. It’s only imagination. It’s not real. It only feels real because you made it that way. That’s why it’s so important to overcome the fears holding you back.

You weren’t born with this fear, by the way. When you were half a minute old, you probably weren’t saying, “I’m going to have this fear that I’ve got to take care of everybody now.” That came later, as you grew up and learned to see the world a certain way.

Ultimately, you’re the one making it up.

You’re the one continuing to buy into that story. Whether it’s good or bad, everything you tell yourself is really just a story. We just make the whole thing up as we go along. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can let that story go.

After you’re able to understand that your fear isn’t real — that it’s just the future you’re making up — the final step is looking at the story you’ve told yourself and reconditioning or reframing it.

By that, I don’t mean telling yourself “This belief is wrong.” Since fear lives only in your imagination, there’s nothing right or wrong about it. Instead, I want you to ask yourself a simple question: “Is this belief helping me, or not helping me?” It’s that simple.

The truth is, you can change your beliefs any time you want to.

That means every time you have a fear that’s holding you back, I want you to tell yourself, “That’s not helpful. I’m going to believe something else.”

Then, take a moment to reframe it. For example, take the fear I mentioned earlier: “If I am successful, everyone’s going to want something from me.”

Stop and think: Where did that come from? Was there a person in your life who told you this? In this example, maybe it was your dad – and every day he would say to you, “Don’t bother trying for more because if you do, everyone’s going to want it. Everyone’s going to be a taker.”

That’s his frame. That’s his belief. Realize that it doesn’t have to be yours.

You have the choice to let it go and believe something else. Why would you want to cut yourself off from being successful now just because you might have to worry about a problem in the future?

I always say, “Why don’t we just cross that bridge when we get there? How about you become super successful now, and worry about any problems as they come up?”

Once you stop worrying about what’s going to happen in the future and start living in the moment, you’ll be amazed at how much progress you make in a short time.

Now over to you…How does fear hold you back? Do you have a fear of success or failure? What other methods do you use to conquer fear? Share in a comment below!

For Your Freedom,

You may have learned to conquer fear, but do you have everything that you want in life? Success? Inner peace? Amazing health? Fabulous relationships? If not, join me in one of my upcoming web classes, “Don’t Believe A Thought You Think,” where you’ll learn exactly how to have all the success, inner peace, health, relationships, etc. that you want and deserve.

If I had to name the greatest obstacle to my success – and indeed an abundant and worthwhile life, it would be fear. This is at the root of my procrastination. This is why I have shied away from taking bold steps forward. I say the time has come to deal with this. I don’t want fear to remain the obstacle that it is, which keeps me from living my life to the fullest

Thanks Harv!! I muscle tested a bunch of hunches of what my fear is and I got :”I am not good Enough!” That is definitely bulls*** when I think about it intellectually.
I am signed up!! 🙂 I love the scholarship idea!!
You all rock!! 🙂

Fear is really not your enemy. Fear is really your friend. There’s important messages in your fear. When you are afraid ask yourself this question. “What is my fear telling me about myself. Just like Harv says, listen to what the fear is telling you and you then you reframe your thinking.

To say that fear of the future, of anticipated pain is BS, is to me BS.

Navigating life is not always pain free. Getting out of toxic entanglements for example is not always simple and easy and, pain free.
Sometimes our models of the world ARE correct.
I’m not saying always, and yes, behooved is to take a good deep.look… but your 100% blanket assertion is not helpful for many friends and clients I work with.
One friend noted “unrealistic expectations led to decades of repeated failure”.

Hey Harv
I have come so far with my success. I have a great life. I do feel that i can go even further, if i can let go of my recurring fears!!
Thanks for putting on this challenge! I will definately be taking part!
J.

In my mind I am strong, successful, fearless & make plans and goals. Then I open my eyes and do nothing as I am crippled with fears. What if…crap.
It’s time to do something about it as I am better than some imaginary, non existing thing such as fear.
I’m in, great challenge 🙂

Fear is like your bad dreams . when you was a child the demands in your dreams was like bad doll from fur and day by day its turned to be red eyes dragons wants to put you in hill . that’s the fear . we gaved it very big reasons to grow in our life .

I do the what if scenarios. So I have this fear that you won’t like something say that I cooked. Lol.
What is the worst thing that can happen ?
You won’t like it!! You won’t eat it.
You might tell others I’m a terrible cook? What else could happen?
Next time you might suggest that you
Cook or that we go out for the meal? Lol. It’s just an example. I just find sometimes this is what helps me see fears realistically. Now when hurricane Irma came and we didn’t leave my fears were much more real and I found them much harder to cope with because the what ifs here in Florida were very real especially after seeing Houston. This is a very different future scenario of fear to face and not at all bs!!

It’s suprisingly easy how solutions or alternatives come to you when you challege these fears, it’s simple but not something enough of us do! Huge shifts from this exercise, roll on the 7 day challenge! 😀

Seeing fear in the right context for what it is, a stumbling block that’s not real reminds me that I must live in the present and that I must take positive action now in order to overcome my fears and procrastination! Thank you so much Harv for your valuable insights! You’re a legend!

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