Top Five Ways To Get Shutdown

Who doesn’t love to hear about a good shutdown?! I realize its narcissistic to have a laugh at other people’s rejection stories but Sam from lip service’s rejection of the woman she’d picked up from a bar and fucked and then kicked out right after came up in conversation with a friend so I decided to compile this small list of brutal Shutdown lines/tactics(all written in good humour!).

This move is often employed when a person finds themselves with someone who they don’t fancy, making moves on them. It’s sometimes accompanied by “I should go“, “You should go“, “I have to get up early tomorrow” or “I’ve got an early start“. It’s harsh when employed right after sex. It could imply that only one and not both parties had a great time!

4. Mention the girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband severally

Yes, B! Keep making people feel inconsequential for not putting a ring on it or simply being unable to afford you in general

Bear in mind that this does not put off some pervs. Its harsh when the ‘Shutdownee’ feels like there was some sort of spark or connection. Also harsh when what you thought was a date turns out to be just a hangout!

3. I’m no good. It’s not you, its me!

It does help to want the same things at the same time and to avoid trying to change someone

I have to admit, I’ve used this one before but if I ever got this I’ve prepared a response: Of course its not me! Last time I checked I was right up there in terms of fabulousness and awesomeness.

2. You’re just not right!

TBH I probably would be OK with Heather Pearce saying this to me as long as she “arrests” me first.

Those were Sam’s shutdown lines to the woman she’d picked up at the bar. One to remember if I might add!

1. I really like you…As a Homie

What is this Homies BS?! I blame you fiddy for making rap culture go Mainstream

Yes, I can consider being your Homie another time but right now, my priority is to get laid, thank you!

I got that recently from someone I fancied. I had read into the scene a moment in which we were about to share a kiss and then potentially other things so imagine my shock I heard those brutal words. My take-home lesson from that: Don’t expect that everyone who jumps into bed with you wants to get it on. Make sure you’re clear on boundaries to avoid disappointments!

How about the one where the girlfriend turns up? I started to get way into this girl from football and at the end of a game I thought she was coming in for a team our usual team hug but she walks past me to swap spit the “girlfriend” she never mentioned for the last six weeks