Christopher’s general state of irritation annoyed everyone. The temple was supposed to bring inner piece. Yet, Christopher’s constant sarcastic remarks made the community wish they could do something about it.“The statue. Pathetic. A feeble attempt at being modern.”The members shrugged.“That little stupid heart at the so-called feet of the statue. Idiotic.”The others looked away.“And the colors. Pink or something.”It was purple.So, the others grabbed Christopher and locked him in the catacombs.He would join the other one they h

RICHARD

Pop!

Bubble wrap: The single most ill-advised invention in history.

I know it’s great for packaging and protection; but like all plastics, when it’s thrown out, it’s an environmental nightmare.

But that’s not why I hate it.

I hate bubble wrap purely because of its therapeutic properties… That wonderful sense of satisfaction and well-being experienced by spending a pleasant half hour, popping all those little bubbles.

It’s a wonderful stress reliever and thoroughly relaxing…

For the person doing the popping.

But, if like me, you have to put up with the resident popper, it’s the greatest irritation known to man!

SERENDIPIDY

Irritation… That simple, but hugely effective technique for breaking down your adversary, with little outlay in terms of effort.

Take the Chinese water torture: A single drip, repeated, time and time again – a small irritation that develops over time into an all-consuming, soul-destroying instrument of despair.

Jane and I were identical twins. Our mother would dress us exactly the same, which annoyed us both, but when we were old enough, we could go shopping separately and find we’d bought the same things. Picking out clothes for the day, we’d have to arrange together who would wear what if we wanted to be different.But the most irritating thing was that when we were out somewhere, elderly women would come and coo over us, “Are you twiiiins? How cuuuuute!”Eventually we found the perfect answer. We would reply solemnly, “We were triplets, but one of us died.”

JON

Mindless Unawareness

By

Jon DeCles

There are a lot of things that irritate me in these times when I have to flush the toilet after humans, but the chief irritation is with humans who pile tableware, i.e., knives, forks, and spoons, interleaved with the ceramic items, thereby achieving chips and cracks and the frequent breakage of our plates and cups and saucers. I explain to them why theymust not do that and they ignore me and continue to do it on a daily basis, destroying things that other people have worked hard to provide.

I saw on a poster that Devo is still performing.

Mystery

By

Jon DeCles

It was not the kind of mystery you solve, it was the kind of Mystery into which you are initiated, the kind that sometimes contains a sacrament, to which the Mystery provides a key of understanding, like the ritual cannibalism at the heart of the Catholic (most notably Roman) Mysteries.

But it led to the other kind of mystery when Detective Officer Alliente was called to discover exactly who the remains on the altar of the old church might be, and how and why the one kind of Mystery was being perverted into the other kind in the abandoned church.

TOM

In the last days of wonder

Sally in the time honored aspect of a kid sister was a complete irritation to her older sib Ann. She would materialize wherever Ann was meeting with her cadre. And much to her vexation none of her closest friend saw this as a problem. Some actually found the little brat enduring. Just as the whole matter was coming to a head, and quite suddenly Sally up and removes herself from Ann life. She fell into a life of deep study and contemplation. Try as she now did Ann could not get her sister attention. Be careful what you wish for.

JERRY

I felt annoyed.

I was becoming impatient.

You could even say I was slightly angry. It was not something that I could place my finger on.

It was just something that was restlessly moving around in the back of my mind.Sort of like the empty space where a tooth had been. The space the very tip of your tongue finds time after time.You worry with it, slipping you tongue into it without thinking.Yes, that annoyed, impatient, and angry feeling was keeping me awake at night.The question is what am I going to do about this irritation.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert’s father frowned. Was it disappointment, frustration, or irritation? “You have your powers already?” he asked.“Well, yeah. When I wear a plastic grocery bag, I can fly. It’s no big deal, dad.”“A plastic grocery bag?” his father asked but didn’t give him time to answer. “Eventually, you’ll probably be able to fly without it. It’s like training wheels.”Billbert shrugged. “Okay.” The bag crinkled when he shifted.His father’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t wear a bag to Linoliumanda’s party, did you?”Billbert swallowed.His father gritted his teeth. “Please tell me. No one saw you fly. Right?”

PLANET Z

Fred was an irritant.So much so, he was forced to wear one of those Fire Diamond symbols on his shirt.You know, those diamond-shaped symbols with numbers that represent health hazards of chemicals and stuff.His flammability index was a 1. But most people are, really.His instability index was also a 1. Once again, most people are.And his health index was a 1. Prolonged exposure caused severe irritation and health hazards.People asked him what the symbol on his shirt meant, and he’d gladly explain it to them at length.And make them regret ever asking him.