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a married woman's journey into D/s

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Just Be

A year ago I was researching D/s and BDSM at every spare moment. I could not get enough material to read. I bookmarked tons of sites and blogs. I joined a community to chat about it and I was known to be up until 2am on work nights reading and chatting. I am not a huge gardener I usually do a few veggies and some flowers but last year I gave it no attention. I don’t have a hobby unless internet surfing counts but the last year I did not frequent my regular sites. Every site I went to was related to this.

Now I find that the chat community has died down and there is less going on there. It seems that some bloggers I follow post a little less now. I have attention for other things not related to D/s and that has made me think that maybe my short attention span has moved on. I sometimes wonder if the D/s is fading for us.

However, that is not the case at all as our relationship has changed. The D/s has become part of who we are. There is certainly room for growth and that is desired but the foundation of how we interact has been laid. I no longer have a need to figure this out and I can just be.

I completely relate to this. We try to reinvigorate our D/s with new rules and rituals that keep it fun and interesting. I left the ‘chat world’ behind after around 6 months and never really looked back. Honestly when I stopped trying to measure us against others in those online communities it allowed us to grow closer in our relationship and D/s. The online chat community had become a distraction, rather than a resource, for us if that makes sense. -belle

The online communities seemed to cater to a certain type of Dominant or submissive. After the initial discovery period, the subs seemed to be petty, controlling, pretentious at times. Sir thought the Dominants were the same way and tuned out quickly. While I was never subject to this, there were people who had dissenting opinions and were told to keep it to themselves. The picture that I got of D/s was not one I liked. It seemed like “Mean Girls” submissive style. I have found that this blog and the few friends I have made have been a much greater comfort and resource in our journey. I love reading your posts and I am glad to count you amongst them! 🙂

That is a very accurate description. I found it helpful in the start and through old links I found a path to the blogging community. If I had not read about all the different ways others made this work I surely would have given up because we were not fitting that mold.
thank you 😀