Just Waiting

The other day, I showed my friend the short video we have of Daniel playing. When it was done, she asked me how I felt as I watched it. I didn’t really know. It’s different every time. That particular time, I guess I was excited to share a peek into D’s life with a very dear friend.

I remember the first time I watched it – at our agency when we were presented with the referral – was extremely emotional for me. He’s strong, healthy, a little (okay, a lot!) chunky… he was pulling himself up on our social worker’s hands and bounce bounce bouncing with his strong little legs. This little baby boy couldn’t be more perfect for us! Our dream of becoming parents was finally coming true! We wanted to accept the referral right then and there, but our social worker urged us to go home and talk it over, since this was the most important decision either of us has ever made. Makes sense, but we could hardly contain our excitement! As soon as we got in the car, we called our families from the parking lot to announce the news of our son!

So far, I think I’ve done a good job of keeping busy. I haven’t had time to really dwell on the waiting or feel sorry for myself, but I do think of Daniel all the time. His picture is on my phone, on the fridge, in the den, in the nursery and on my desk at work. Sometimes I smile when I see it. Sometimes I study it, looking for something I might have missed before. I wonder how much he’s changed since the photo was taken. Will I recognize him?

I know it’s not fair to talk about pictures and not post one – but I’m just not ready to share these photos with the cyber-world yet.

How about a picture of a really cute outfit, instead?

We got this at the Tempe Art Festival, before we received our referral.

Totally understandable about sharing – we didn’t post any either – just sent them to our friends and family. Waiting is the hardest – you are lucky to have a video! One suggestion – in case you haven’t started – work out those pipes – these babies are big!! And most arms are not used to the 20+lb babies that they need to carry around. 🙂