Friday, February 29, 2008

I have been blessed! I serve an awesome God! I have a wonderful husband who loves ME for me, which is a lot to take on. Just last night we were sitting on the couch together watching American Idol and a girl sang "Hopelessly Devoted" from Grease. Now, I was Rizzo in SEACT's production of Grease and felt compelled to sing. There we sat on the couch side by side and I sang "There Are Worse Things I Can Do". I sang, the entire song, as if I were performing on broadway. He continued looking straight ahead, with an occasional glance. When I was done he said calmly, "Do you think there is any other couple in America doing this exact same thing right now?" My child was not phased either. He continued playing while I filled the house with beautiful music. My precious husband has a "love nickname" for me.......Seabiscuit.......yes, as in the horse.........he says that I have big front teeth.....is that not the sweetest thing you have ever heard? I especially love when other people think it is funny and feel that they have the right to refer to me as seabiscuit. I admit, they could use a little file down. I have been thinking about filing a claim with my insurance company because tubing at the lake with big front teeth really is a health hazard.

My son serves as a daily reminder of how good God is! I love to laugh, sing, spend time with family and friends and not act my age. Life is too short to "grow up". I also enjoy a good cry, I think that it is healthy, although my husband and friends like to remind me that I am indeed THE UGLIEST crier in the world. They speak the truth! My maid of honor actually said to me, as I was preparing to walk down the aisle, "remember how ugly you are when you cry, don't cry", precious!

I am not a great housekeeper but can't stand spots on the carpet. I have very negative thoughts about "no leak" sippie cups. Yeah Right!

I am cheap and only buy things off of 75% off racks. I can swim really fast. I really don't know why or how, but I can. I think that is about it! Oh yeah, I also like to dress up in random things. I love themed parties, but mostly just random "costume" moments. Sadly, I am trying to pass this on to my child, atleast until he is old enough to make me stop (refer to picture above) Rock On!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

What am I so afraid of? I have no idea! I really do struggle with this. After losing my dad and watching him suffer, the innocence of "it won't happen to me" has been ripped away. I now have the thought process of it can and is probably going to happen to me. I have always been a scaredy cat as in staying home by myself but this fear is deeper. It is a fear of sickness and death. I am sick of it, no pun intended. Satan loves to pounce on and capitalize on this fear and throw me into panic attacks. I am thankful for a husband who just talks me through these instead of having me committed. I have been praying about this and have come across several verses on fear. These are a few of my favorites.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints. Psalm 116:15.

I came across this verse in a bible study that I was doing and it spoke to me. Precious is not one of the words that I would have come up with when describing death; however, it is precious to God. He is welcoming home his child. He knows that there will be no more pain and sorrow for his child. They are home!

This brings me to another "lightbulb" moment that I had. I AM HIS CHILD. I had never really had one of those "God spoke to me" moments, but this was surely him. I was reading my weekly bible study, in the Dollar General parking lot waiting for them to open, and confessing to him that I struggle with and was being help captive by fear. It was like he "in a frustrated voice" said, "K, YOU ARE MY CHILD". WOW! Right there in the old DG parking lot God had spoken to me. I couldn't help but think how much I love my child and how I would never hurt him. I know that we will go through trials but God has our best interest at heart. He is perfect and his will is perfect. He loves me as his child. That is HUGE!

For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, who says to you, Fear not; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

He promises us. He is not a God who breaks promises! Once again I come to him as a child.

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord: be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14

Now this verse just makes me feel sassy! Now the next time Satan reminds me of my fears, I am just going to claim this verse and let him know that I am EXPECTING my God to show up. I will memorize this verse so that I can have my hands free to do the snap, snap, snap with the arm waving, I will then step with my right foot, pivot, and walk away!

Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me. Micah 7:8

So, that was my first Blog Entry.................................I feel good!