Loving the fourth-wall-breaking look of disbelief: either she can’t remember signing a contract to be in a book this idiotic or it’s just that he had that dagger on him somehow, despite those brief briefs.

Return of the Radio Beasts! Again with the ants Mr. Farley? I don’t care when this was written. If ants are the best idea for a monster you can come up with (repeatedly) the author should be stripped to his tidy whities and forced to battle giant ants for all eternity in the hell of hack writers. Minus the buxom babe.

Return of the Radio Beasts! Again with the ants Mr. Farley? Really? I don’t care when this was written. If ants are the best monster you can come up with (repeatedly) the author should be forced to battle giant bugs in his tidy whities for all eternity in the Hell of the Hack Writer. Minus the buxom gal.

“He dared challenge it’s monster ruler” Oh god how long is that ruler then? Is it all one piece or is it one of those hinged ones? I have a 1 meter ruler, I thought that quite large, but it sure ain’t “Monster”. I’m feeling all inadequate in the ruler dept. right now. Please somebody, how big a ruler do I need for it to be monster?

“The buxom blonde insect-girl threw her arms him, thanking him for rescuing her life… then she bit off his head and mated with the still-twitching body, then laid her eggs in his corpse and waited for her youngs to hatch so they could feed on the Earthling flesh…”

@DSWithBT—Those stirrings are probably caused by Venusian mutant ant pheromones coming right off the cover and transforming their ant bodies, in his young and impressionable mind, to the antennaed babe on radioman’s left.

This is so typical. Earth man shows up and decides he knows what’s best for a planet he knows nothing about. Sees peril everywhere and calls the ant ruler a monster, despite the fact that he had a pretty good approval rating. Turns out it’s all about the women. Earth needs women.

To save everyone time, I’ve used Microsoft Word’s AutoSummarise feature on the e-text:

Happy thought! Ants, six-footed and six feet high. “Doggo, Doggo!” Strange! The unpleasant ant-man departed, and Doggo placed himself on guard in the doorway. “What need have ants of a bed?” The same strange ant-man was standing guard at the door. After breakfast Doggo took his turn as guard. Just then Doggo ushered into the room, with great deference, four ant-men slightly smaller than himself, but more refined looking than he, if one can appreciate such differences among ants. On page one was a picture of an ant-man. An ant-man. This is an ant-man.” “Ant-man. The ant-man. I see the ant-man. The ant-man sees me.” The beautiful Cupian was evidently, like the ant-men, devoid of hearing. Apparently she lived here in the ant city, and so undoubtedly understood the ant language. Radio! Perhaps Doggo could enlighten me. “Doggo,” wrote I, only I called him by his number, 334-2-18, instead of Doggo, “can ant-men and Cupians communicate in any way other than writing?” At the head table stood the president of the ant university, the committee of four ant-men who had examined me so often, the ant professor of electricity, a visiting Cupian professor, Doggo, and myself. Doggo opened the conversation. The driver was a lone ant-man. The beautiful Cupian?”

9

The idea was for Yuri to return to Cupia, as that would make the ant-men less suspicious. I seized Lilla by the hand. “I am a princess.” “The Royal Husbands,” Doggo informed me. Doggo growled. Doggo was deeply touched by grief. “Lilla! Lilla!” Life on Poros was ahead of me, and Poros held the Princess Lilla! Bide your time. Yuri scowled. “It was Prince Yuri,” he replied. “Poblath,” I declared, “Yuri did not rescue the princess. No word from Princess Lilla. No word from King Kew. Spoken like a king!” Doggo had not been invited. Bthuh! “Your princess, it is always your princess! Yuri, undoubtedly. The fact that he was an ant-man confirmed my suspicions of Yuri. One lone ant-man is no match for a woofus. The ant-man stood for a moment astounded, and then wheeled around. “Go away, dead man,” he begged. I did hire the ant-man to assassinate you. The ant-man lost me in the fog. Earth-man!” Could the Princess Lilla love a commoner?” ““Are you men or slaves? The king turned to me. I seized the phones and shouted: “Then forward into ant land, for Cupia, King Kew, and Princess Lilla!” An ant-man exploded. The Princess Lilla has been missing since morning. My princess is dead! Turning angrily. Kerkools were patrolling all the roads, shooting ant-men at sight. The numbers of all dead ant-men were taken and turned in, but Doggo’s number was not among them. Ant-men were forbidden to carry arms or to enter Cupia, and all their airships were confiscated.