TAKE TWO: An alternative look at the day in sports

Call it the Kentucky Waterfall or the Tom Jones or, as former Missouri punter Jake Harry christened his shag last summer, the “Bosworth.”

But, really, the mullet is a way of life. Allow former Chiefs mulleteer Jared Allen to explain.

“If someone asks if you want extra mayonnaise, you have to say ‘Yes,’ ” the Vikings defensive end said in a recent interview with the NFL. “That’s part of it. If the easy way is to walk around something, you walk through it.”

In the stately history of sports mullets — Kurt Rambis, Dwayne Schintzius, Jaromir Jagr, Randy Johnson — Allen stands in a class of his own. He’s so committed to the lifestyle that he markets “Mullet Militia” T-shirts and created a “Mullet Generator” iPhone app, on which fans “not cool enough to have a real one” could add one to their pictures.

“You’re carrying on a legacy,” Allen said. “If I approach you from the front, it’s like, ‘Wow, that dude is pretty serious.’ Then I walk away and you’re like, ‘Damn, he likes to party. With two R’s.’ ”

Yet, sadly, in an act of betrayal historians will recall in the year 2410, the party has ended. Allen is in love, and with his wedding this weekend, he hacked off the mullet.

It was not a proud moment. Besides the health risks associated with exposing one’s neck to the effects of natural light, he is coping with the five stages of grief. He remains in the denial phase.

“The Moolay is more than just some hair, its a lifestyle!” he posted on his Twitter page Tuesday night. “You gotta keep a positive Mullitude.”

Allen insists, wife be damned, the mullet will return after the wedding. Recapturing the hearts of his neck-bearded fans will take a bit longer.