Ok, I've heard countless ways to say sorry and excuse me, but I don't quite understand when to say them and who should say them. I understand that Sumimasen can mean both sorry and excuse me. Gomenna is for guys, gomenne is for girls. Gomennasai is used by little kids and girls with their girlfriends, my textbook says, but I always thought it was just a really polite way to say excuse me. And all the sudden chotto comes up...Are some more polite than others?

The base problem, though, is that you can't divide the Japanese words into categories based on the English meanings of "excuse me" and "I'm sorry". Sumimasen, for instance, has both meanings. Gomen nasai is pretty much just "I'm sorry" but it's more casual and not usually used with superiors. "warui" is another "I'm sorry" used in casual conversation. etc.

Yudan Taiteki wrote:The base problem, though, is that you can't divide the Japanese words into categories based on the English meanings of "excuse me" and "I'm sorry". Sumimasen, for instance, has both meanings. Gomen nasai is pretty much just "I'm sorry" but it's more casual and not usually used with superiors. "warui" is another "I'm sorry" used in casual conversation. etc.

doesn't ご免 mean "your pardon, permission?" And when saying ご免なさい you are begging pardon/permission for something. I know it is commonly accepted that it mean I'm sorry, but I think if you dig into the nuance it's more of a begging or pleading rather than an apology. In other words rather than the emphasis being on you for apologizing, (not really good enryo is it?) It puts the emphasis on the other person to pardon or otherwise give you permission or forgiveness for your actions. (be they good, bad or indifferent)

These three literally mean "there is no excuse" and are used when you really inconvenience someone申し訳ございません (moushi wake gozaimasen) very polite申し訳ありません (moushi wake arimasen)申し訳ない (moushi wake nai)

There's also 恐れ入ります (osoreirimasu) used when you "regretfully" say something. Something like "I'm afraid..." or "I regret to say..." or even on the telephone when asking to speak to someone "sorry to be a bother but is Jimmy there?" etc

Yet another one which has a similar meaning to the above is 恐縮ですが・・・I'm sorry but...

Doesn't chotto just mean a little bit? So possibly it has a connotation of "just a little bit of your time?" Watching dramas you hear "chotto ii desu ka" a bit which could probably be shortened to chotto. This is just me guessing of course.