I know I’m the last person who should be talking shit about high fashion, since I’m sitting here wearing a throw blanket as a shirt and the kind of leggings too casual for even a trip to the corner store for 2 cans of Monster and a king size Twix, but what in Where’s Andre? hell is going on here? I strongly questioned Jennifer Lawrence’s decision making skills after she debuted that hideous Kate Gosselin hair, but wearing this dress proves that she is not of sound mind and should grant a trusted family member power of attorney. How else can you explain wearing Sandra Lee’s best tablecloth (she needs it back for her Glitzy Glamour Christmas tablescape) to a movie premiere?

The Hunger Games: Catching Firepremiere was held in London, so that might explain why Jennifer Lawrence went full-mumsy with her look. When I think of London, I think of The Queen, Miss Marple, and Dame Judy Dench, so maybe Jennifer got confused and thought she had to dress like a glittery mother-of-the-bride? I have no idea. Maybe this is some kind of deal with the devil? “In exchange for winning an Oscar, you’ll be forced to dress in shapeless sack-dresses and cut your hair like a soccer mom.”

But Jennifer Lawrence looking like a Dollar Tree Tilda Swinton was the least of our problems at The Hunger Games: Catching Fire premiere. Yes, Elizabeth Banks, I’m looking at you. No tea no shade, but everything about that dress says Real Housewives of New Jersey Ballgown Collection. If you got Slut Dress in there with a Singer to tighten the bottom up, you’d have the hottest dress at the Shahs of Sunset premiere.

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