If
you guessed A, an ice cream salesman, you are…ohhh! I’m sorry, you’re
incorrect. Perhaps you missed the key clue on this one: no bowtie! You can’t be
an ice cream salesman without a bowtie. Besides, can you imagine that grouchy
mug dealing with kids all day? (No offense, friend.)

Onto
answer B, a 1950’s basketball coach. That is…also incorrect! Though Roy’s
peevish demeanor makes this answer more fitting, I’m afraid it’s wrong. Did the
glasses throw you off? He may look like he’d spend his days devising drills and
screaming at the teenage boys of Rydell High, but Roy is, in fact…

C!
A gardener. Seems to be the most unlikely option, doesn’t it? Can’t judge a
book by its cover. Roy inherited his gardening business from his mother, if
that helps explain things. His thumb appears more gnarled than green, but maybe
he enjoys the solitude of it all.

That’s
all the time we have for today. We’ll see you next time on—

GUESS THAT PROFESSION!

I have literally no idea why I wrote this story like a game show. I was trying to think of a story for this man, and I kept getting stuck on the idea that he either looked like an ice cream salesman or a 1950's basketball coach, so I decided to go with both. Please read this story in Bill Hader's SNL gameshow host voice.