Remembering those beautiful days when I was myself

Today, I took my parents and neighbor aunty and uncle to a beautiful temple 40 Kms from Coimbatore. It was drizzling and I loved the environment so much. Then, I went to Nagasai Mandir and came back home. Somehow, I started remembering the days when I was never like this. I wanted to be into film-making and used to love music and editing songs so much.

When I was in Mumbai in Film School, many used to admire how I cut song exactly in the beat and make a magic out of it. Anyway, that’s just a small art in the ocean of editing.

I have been listening to beautiful Hindi songs which were part of my life years before. One of the most memorable is Lucky Ali’s O Sanam. These beautiful music and the cinematography brings tears to my eyes for reasons unknown.

I always dream of doing some photography and had no SLR of my own. I used to plead people and get the camera for a week. Once, I was so much mesmerized by cinematography in Lucky Ali’s O Sanam song that I wanted to do photography similarly with a female model.

Here’s the screen shot from the song.

I love this Dupatta, curious eyes and the Mehandi in the girl’s palm

I requested my Sister to find a girl for me to do photography the way I saw in the Music video.

Finally, I did below photography – I am not telling her name as she’s married now and I never saw her for years. But this work of mine is close to my heart for I composed the photo with so much passion on Art of Light.

Eyes Speaks – Venkatraman Photography

I asked Indra and this girls elder sister to adjust the dupatta perfectly that it will be in the shape of an “eye”.

I was happy with the result but after I got the print, I realized that the Dupatta must have some kind of design like creepers or flowers over it. Anyway, If you look carefully, you can spot the left eye actually shows my sister holding a mirror focusing on the face. he he… It was evening, the light was going down and hence I requested Indra to magically capture the Sun light and reflect it over this girls face.

Now, I realize the photography isn’t that cool but really a memorable incident.

I laugh at how stupid I have been and how my life has changed now?

Atleast for the past 5 years, I am not living for myself. I accepted this life as it makes my parents satisfied. I am simply surviving. I don’t like what I do accept for the fact that my dreams are different now. But anyway, why should I dream? None of my dreams are going to come true for sure.

Many devotees write me telling that Sai Baba did not help them get their dream job or their wish is not fulfilled. Listen. You can always plan something and ask Sai to fulfill your wish. Work hard and sincere for it but when things don’t work out, learn to accept the life Sai wants you to live.

May be, your life will be beautiful in the days to come because you are not “Me”.

I am one of those unlucky creature.

From last Friday, I am really depressed and wondering what Sai has in mind for me.

I just know that this is not the life I asked Sai for.

This isn’t me.

Now you know why I consider StarSai as my treasure. This is the only thing that makes me feel satisfied irrespective of all the disappointments I had in life.

Its 1.15 at night.

I am not able to sleep early these days as I am trying to understand what Sai actually wants from me after all this set backs in life?

Show me a way Sai!

I can’t stop my tears. This is love of an art which almost got eradicated from my life.

Love you Sai.

Venkat

(The featured image of this article is another photography I did for my Sister’s friend’s elder sister and her baby).

How interesting Venkat. I was thinking about how I used to be yesterday. Wow! I remember I used to read and write a lot. Now I almost never have any energy. But I concluded
maybe I need to take up new pursuits again and must think carefully and a long time about things. Baba doesn’t want you to be sad. Sai ram!