Home as mirror

The weather’s getting nicer by the day. More daylight, milder temps, little green things pushing up everywhere I look. The dogs know it. They charge the door any chance they get, hungry for freedom.

Ah Spring…..such a welcome thing after months of Northeastern winter.

Maybe it’s the angle of the light in the late afternoon, or maybe it’s just having spent so much time confined with my belongings. Right around April I feel the clean up and clear out. The “urge to purge” all that extra stuff that’s found it’s way into my house and life.

Clutter – why we have it, how to get rid of it – is a really hot topic this time of year.

Came across an interesting article the other day which didn’t talk about “the stuff” per se, but about it’s mental and emotional significance. For therein lies the problem.

In her article “The Emotional Toll of Clutter”, Jessie Sholl helps explain why those piles of things we don’t use, don’t need or outright dislike accumulate. At it’s heart, clutter is really about stuck energy. Clutter is the physical manifestation of ways we are locked into behavior and attitudes that no longer serve us.

photo: hughkretschmer.net

Of course, hoarding behavior takes the habit to extremes, but most people have areas in their houses and lives that represent deeply held beliefs that limit them much more than just running out of closet space. Sholl, quotes feng shui expert Tisha Morris:” Clutter is just stagnant energy. Where there’s clutter in your home, there will be clutter in you – either physically, mentally or emotionally.”

So what are some patterns that emerge when looking at the things we can’t seem to get rid of:

Other People’s Stuff- Do you have your 30+ yr old childrens’ year books they “don’t have room for”? Is there stuff in your basement that you agreed to keep “temporarily” for friends on the move? And what about things that belonged to people who are no longer in our lives due to death, divorce, or other loss? Sholl asks us to remember that by doing this we are allowing the energy of others to enter our personal space. Perhaps we have problems setting boundaries in general. A good suggestion here is to set a specific time time for storage, and let folks know that items will be sold, donated or discarded after that time. For those items with a deeper significance, be gentle with yourself and recognize that the thing isn’t the person.

Reminders of the Past– Hanging on to these items leaves no room for anything new, and can symbolize unwillingness to take responsibility for making a brighter future. Do you really believe that the best is behind you? Holding on to something expensive or beautiful that was given to you in the context of a relationship that is now over can cause distress each time you see it.

Things you seldom or never use– Stockpiles of unopened products can symbolize fear and mistrust of the future. These items can also signal a wish for an identify we don’t possess. One professional organizer tells of a woman who owned a high-end mixer, tons of baking pans, cookie molds and presses but confessed she had never made a single cookie. Hmmmmm…We don’t “become” something simply by “having” the stuff.

Incomplete or unfinished projects – These items (even if we try to hide them away in a closet, drawer or basement) can make us feel like a failure if they hang around too long. Sholl suggests we might be harboring a tendency to perfectionism – not finishing something avoids creating something that we feel isn’t “good enough”.

from motherandhome.blog

The idea that our homes “mirror” our emotional state also suggests that clearing clutter might also be a way to clear away mental cobwebs and move into new ways of thinking and acting. Start small – with one drawer or one closet. Take an honest look, and eliminate those things you don’t use, want, cause you distress, or don’t have a positive place in your life. You’ll not only have a lot less to clean and maintain, but you may also notice you feel physically lighter in the process.

To quote Sholl:” Your house should be a respite from the world. A place where you want to enjoy your life, a place where you can enjoy your family, your friends, your spiritual practice, whatever you’re into. But if you’re not into the stuff that’s in your house, then it’s got to go. It doesn’t tell the story of who you are.”