tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-92188316305560003792018-03-06T08:29:17.812-08:00If This is Crazy...Active mom of 6, passionate about a healthier lifestyle, running, reading, and adoption. Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.comBlogger244125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-76331577596872860252013-03-01T03:30:00.000-08:002013-03-01T03:30:05.181-08:00$$ Adoption and Health Issues ... I'm seeing dollar signs $$<div style="text-align: justify;">We are no newcomers to adoption, nor the post-adoption expenses that seem to add up faster than agency fees. However, I think it is like labor - once you are past the worst, you forget about it.&nbsp; Forget about the sheer, vast number of appointments and the financial output. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Adopting children internationally (and I suppose even domestically) comes with its fair share of medical issues. Your child has been living in sub-optimal conditions (there is certainly a range of "sub-optimal," but, in any event, it's not ideal).&nbsp; Further, any time you add a child to your family, you have all those "first" and baseline appointments - pediatrician check up, first dental visit, labs, x-rays, maybe a&nbsp; few specialists to take care of temporary problems (like intestinal parasites) or more long-term problems (e.g. a chronic condition).&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Plan to take some time off to deal with all of this! The appointments seem never-ending. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Additionally, plan to set aside some money above and beyond what you normally do for your family's health care expenses. Even with a very good insurance plan, co-pays of $20 here and there add up <i>very</i> quickly.&nbsp; And many of these tests are not "typical" for the average American, so, as a result, may not be fully covered. It is worthwhile too know your insurance coverage backwards-and-front to avoid surprises. (And to fight for your rights when something <i>should </i>be covered in full).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I currently work for a county government. As a government employee, we are fortunate to have pretty great health care coverage. Yet, I know we have spent at least $300+ just in co-pays and such for Jhon in the last 3 months. And, this is the tip of the iceberg.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yesterday was our family trip to the dentist. Yes, six back-to-back appointments. What fun. This was Jhon's first visit and the other kids were due for regular cleanings. Jhon has some very extensive damage to those poor baby teeth. He starts with a <a href="http://cyberdentist.blogspot.com/2006/09/what-is-pulpotomy.html">pulpotomy </a>next week, which is a bit like a baby root canal. He has three other follow up appointments to take care of other cavities, including two that were done in Colombia, but not properly and there is more decay to address. Since our dental insurance only covers these types of repairs at 50%, we expect our share of the expenses to exceed $800.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F-aT0389njG7k%2FUS9_gMdYYzI%2FAAAAAAAAEt8%2FUvmKQ1jSNWE%2Fs640%2FIMAG3460.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-aT0389njG7k/US9_gMdYYzI/AAAAAAAAEt8/UvmKQ1jSNWE/s640/IMAG3460.jpg" height="400" width="225" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Colombia is a land of sweet. Many, many items include sugar (and lots of it), including formula and baby cereals. Juice is very, very common (and amazing!). I suspect (although do not know) that this led to Jhon's dental trouble. At minimum, it likely did not help.&nbsp; However, Hana had many dental problems too (including a pulpotomy and an extraction), and Ethiopia does not use much sugar. There, the issue seemed to be a complete lack of dental hygiene and care. Yet, Selam came home - at age 12 - with absolutely perfect teeth. Go figure.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">In addition to Jhon's not-so-fun upcoming dental visits, we decided we needed to go ahead with the surgery to fix his perforated ear drums (yes, both).&nbsp; He has been pretty good lately, but just 2 weeks ago, he was experiencing heavy drainage, including blood, from his ears. Very disturbing to his teacher who didn't realize he had this problem... We decided we could not wait an additional 2 months for a second opinion and just had to get him some relief. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's becoming quite clear that my sweet boy is simply used to living in chronic pain. :( And as much as I want to whine about the bills, I can say, without a doubt, that I would pay it all ten times over to get him feeling better.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I admit - I'm a tad nervous. If he's this rambunctious with pain, what will he be like when he's feeling good all the time?!&nbsp; ;)&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">What about you adoptive parents? Any other major health issues you didn't expect?&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;">Did you budget extra money for medical expense at homecoming?&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-21601823772666598752013-02-28T12:40:00.002-08:002013-02-28T12:58:00.146-08:00My Confidence Cruisers <div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-9UV0alPy9gk/US-_fvjQZgI/AAAAAAAAEvg/zhR83YXR8uw/s1600/IMG_20130228_140431.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-9UV0alPy9gk/US-_fvjQZgI/AAAAAAAAEvg/zhR83YXR8uw/s640/IMG_20130228_140431.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />I noticed on Facebook that our local running store was having a contest. Upload a photo of your shoes and rename them. No Adrenaline or Mirage or Wave Riders - what would YOU call your shoes. I happened to see this after a pretty epic afternoon run and the first (cheesy) think that popped into my head was "Confidence Cruisers." So, I went with it, uploaded a photo of my wet shoes with this caption.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:CustomDocumentProperties> <o:HTML dt:dt="boolean">1</o:HTML> <o:DocumentEncoding dt:dt="string">utf-8</o:DocumentEncoding> </o:CustomDocumentProperties></xml><![endif]--></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]><style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style><![endif]--></div><pre style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt;">These are my "Confidence Cruisers."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I started running about 2 years ago.&nbsp;</span></i></pre><pre style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt;">Since that time, my weight had dropped and my confidence has soared. &nbsp;</span></i></pre><pre style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt;">This confidence has affected every area of my life, including my marriage,&nbsp;</span></i></pre><pre style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt;">parenting, career and friendships. &nbsp;</span></i></pre><pre style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt;">I am not a new person - just the real me that was hiding in an unfit body.</span></i></pre><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And although I truly believe I'm not a new or different person because of running, I can also honestly say that running changed my life. Without it, I might have continued to burrow deeper inside myself, hiding the real me behind more fat, unhappiness, and frankly nastiness. It's hard to be pleasant when you feel so badly about yourself. I am so thankful that I found a release, a way to come out. Like a weight was lifted from me - figuratively and literally.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F-ywKo7sx8o0w%2FUS-_egZCjeI%2FAAAAAAAAEvY%2FhzVbuowvm_I%2Fs640%2FIMAG3528.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-ywKo7sx8o0w/US-_egZCjeI/AAAAAAAAEvY/hzVbuowvm_I/s640/IMAG3528.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[pre-run, feeling good!]</td></tr></tbody></table>In other excellent news, I ran today at lunch. It was a bit grey, but no snow or rain. The sidewalks were a mess of slushiness but very little ice (yay for not falling!). My shoes and socks were quickly soaked, but it wasn't too bad. Actually? It was awesome. One of the best runs I have had in AGES. I felt strong. Just ran along and whatever felt comfortable, ignored my Garmin.<br /><br />I decided to try my <a href="http://www.altrazerodrop.com/fitness/en/Altra/Women/intuition-15">Altras</a> again, fully expecting the usual calf pain/tightness after mile 2 and numb feet around 2.5 (it's been an ongoing battle).&nbsp; I happened to glance down at my watch around mile 3 and realized how strong I felt. Nothing hurt. I wasn't pushing the pace on purpose, but it felt like I was moving along at a decent clip (at least when I wasn't trying to dodge the more major "lakes" that I came across).<br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">After a good run yesterday, this second confidence-booster was <i>just </i>what I needed. </div></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-5z_4vKBr-8o/US-_d61ZYfI/AAAAAAAAEvQ/IKKG147uHr8/s640/IMAG3530-1.jpg" height="320" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="180" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[post-run, feeling even better]</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-5z_4vKBr-8o/US-_d61ZYfI/AAAAAAAAEvQ/IKKG147uHr8/s1600/IMAG3530-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-9UV0alPy9gk/US-_fvjQZgI/AAAAAAAAEvg/zhR83YXR8uw/s1600/IMG_20130228_140431.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-53070260672533996712013-02-27T10:16:00.001-08:002013-02-27T10:16:33.363-08:00Getting Back on TrackAlternate Title:&nbsp; This Snow is Killing Me<br />Alternate Title:&nbsp; I Mourn My Lack of Snow Plow Service this Season<br />Alternate Title:&nbsp; I Wish I Could Write Good Titles<br /><br />:)<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So.&nbsp; <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/02/knowing-when-to-walk-away.html">No marathon for me</a>. I'm still good with that.&nbsp; It's been quite a busy few weeks, and the lack of a training calendar has taken a lot of stress off. Whew.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I've also been really lax. : / I only ran once last week, a 5 miler. :( And - even worse- I didn't really do any <i>other </i>exercise. And... such terrible eating habits. Cookies and brownies and cake - it seems to be everywhere!&nbsp; (And, eventually, in my tummy).&nbsp; Bah.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm just so DONE with winter. I'm sick of dodging ice patches and trudging through slush and feeling wet and cold and gross all the time. And I've had a lot of extra stuff going on. Other obligations that have been much more time consuming than I first realized.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I've allowed those things to morph from <span style="font-size: large;">complications </span>or <span style="font-size: large;">challenges </span>to <i><b><span style="font-size: large;">excuses </span></b></i>and to begin to undo what I've worked so hard on these last few years.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">NO.&nbsp;&nbsp; Today I said no. No more garbage! No more excuses!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I actually GOT UP this morning when planned. I knew I wouldn't run in the dark and snow, but I was planning on squeezing in a little Jillian Michaels. She packs a punch in 20 minutes. So, anyway, I <strike>snoozed my alarm twice and </strike>got up and dressed ...&nbsp; </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XMABM59ttoc/US5Ks2uRRQI/AAAAAAAAErE/u3RZ00hRDE4/s1600/ready+to+go%2521.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XMABM59ttoc/US5Ks2uRRQI/AAAAAAAAErE/u3RZ00hRDE4/s1600/ready+to+go%2521.JPG" height="320" width="231" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp; <span style="font-size: x-small;">[Look at me! Ready to go!</span>] </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>&nbsp;And looked outside and saw THIS:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qoqdNcwhk4I/US5Ks1IWepI/AAAAAAAAErM/4n3xFlGzZqs/s1600/snow+storm.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qoqdNcwhk4I/US5Ks1IWepI/AAAAAAAAErM/4n3xFlGzZqs/s1600/snow+storm.JPG" height="225" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">[In case it's not clear, it's a lot of fing snow]</div>So then I got mad:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xqRsnYYzrd8/US5KsxdEEWI/AAAAAAAAErI/0v0C6qeVO1s/s1600/shovel!.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xqRsnYYzrd8/US5KsxdEEWI/AAAAAAAAErI/0v0C6qeVO1s/s1600/shovel!.JPG" height="320" width="192" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">And blew off Jillian to shovel. Not a bad workout, although I could have used some more cardio.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The kids had yet ANOTHER snow day (surprise surprise) but we still had to get to our dentist appointment (when anyone will make 6 back to back or simultaneous appointments for you, you DON'T cancel). After spending oodles of&nbsp; money at the dentist and setting up a boatload of appointments (that's another post...) I was needing the calming affect of a run.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I decided to sneak in 3 miles with Perry quick before heading off to work. It was snowy and a bit slippery but someone had plowed at least part of the neighborhood. So off we went. It just felt GOOD to move. Finished with a 10:42 average pace, which is practically a tempo run in these conditions!&nbsp; Feeling pretty good about it. No adorable wet post-run photos though - had to scoot to work. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I might not be training for anything, but it was sure nice to be reminded why - and how much - I love to run.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Have you ever found that when <i>needed </i>a great run most, that it came through for you? What do you do if you go too long without a good run to remind you of all the benefits? </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-5942765457840945882013-02-20T03:30:00.000-08:002013-02-20T03:30:04.113-08:00Search terms that brought people to my blog this week...<div style="text-align: center;"><b>"I'm so exhausted from being awesome."&nbsp;&nbsp;</b></div><div style="text-align: center;">Me too my friend, me too.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">And, <b>"can I eat ground turkey on Ash Wednesday?"</b></div><div style="text-align: center;">And this is why the Pope quit.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;">;)&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="225" id="irc_mi" src="http://blogs.reuters.com/faithworld/files/2009/10/pope-crozier.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px;" width="320" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[Pope Benedict is not impressed.] [<a href="http://blogs.reuters.com/faithworld/2009/10/27/will-queen-elizabeth-give-the-pope-a-warm-welcome-next-year/">image source</a>]</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So, welcome all your awesomely-tired-sinners. I hope you decided to stick around for awhile! </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-71740175881658183262013-02-19T09:02:00.000-08:002013-02-19T09:02:33.951-08:00Knowing When to Walk Away... Alternate Title:&nbsp; Touch Decisions<br /><br />Alternate Title #2:&nbsp; #firstworldproblems<br /><br />So.&nbsp;<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Things don't always go as you plan...&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/oops-i-did-it-again.html">Just over a month ago</a>, I was over the moon excited to be training for <a href="http://www.bayshoremarathon.org/marathon">another marathon</a>. It was just the thing I needed to get my running mojo back in business.&nbsp; Or so I thought. I quickly realized that I wasn't as mentally ready for this training round as when I started training for the Detroit marathon last summer. <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/bayshore-training-wk-1-get-er-done.html">Week 1 </a>I hit all my planned runs, but it was a challenge.&nbsp; <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/bayshore-training-wk-2-what-week-two.html">Week 2 </a>saw me in bed for most of the week sooooo sick. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">To be honest, I never really recovered from that. I mean I did physically, although even that took awhile.&nbsp; But <u>mentally</u>, I was shot. I just could not get my mental game under control. And marathon training is <i>hugely </i>mental. Then I went through a couple of weeks of an on-and-off serious F.U.N.K. I threatened to quit more than once. But I knew I didn't want to make that kind of a choice while in a funk. I knew I'd regret it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I was finally able to break out of that funk last week. That's probably a story for another post, but I was doing much better. I got some really good runs in - the kind that just make you happy to be outside!&nbsp; I was happy.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And just like that, I knew I had to pull out of training. The decision was finally clear and so, I made it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I felt instant relief.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do I want to run Bayshore?&nbsp; YES</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do I hate that little voice that says "you're a quitter"?&nbsp; YES</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do I HATE that I already signed up and will lose the entrance fee?&nbsp; YES</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do I have other things on my plate right now that take precedence over all those vain feelings?&nbsp; YES</div><div style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;YES YES</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm busy.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I will say that aloud. I will scream it from the rooftops if I must. I need to hear it. <span style="font-size: large;">I'm busy!</span> I have too many other priorities right now. Getting our new family in order has taken a bit more out of me physically, mentally and emotionally than I bargained for. Digging into some freelance work has me excited, but is a huge time and effort commitment. These extra commitments simply heighten the need for me to keep a close watch on my marriage. Because anyone that knows me well knows that its Mark that keeps me going. :) My marriage is simply not expendable and can never be last in line.All of these pieces in my life are competing with lil' ole me.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And so, for this season, training doesn't make the short list.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Am I going to stop running? NO. Not. at. all. Am I going to do it for fun and tension release, rather than because I <i>need </i>to up my mileage for training? Yes. That's where I need to be right now. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I know I'm not a quitter. I had the courage to walk away before I went crazy. ;)&nbsp; And that's a huge step in the right direction... </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-34595694826268785112013-02-16T04:00:00.000-08:002013-02-16T04:00:07.317-08:00Snow Day Run! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-zgM_KpH4Sq0/URurpfXhyZI/AAAAAAAAEkg/h5M0cgu-FH0/s1600/IMAG3337.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="225" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-zgM_KpH4Sq0/URurpfXhyZI/AAAAAAAAEkg/h5M0cgu-FH0/s400/IMAG3337.jpg" width="400" /> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"> This post is a bit old and out of date, but ah well. Last Thursday we got yet another snow dump which meant SNOW DAY on Friday for the kids. It was my turn to hang out and since we knew it was coming, I had even planned ahead and brought some work with me. Friday ended up being a beautiful day and I was able to get out for a run in the late afternoon. Although it was a tough run - since the streets were pretty slick - the sun was shining and it just felt good to be OUT. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;">&nbsp;<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-woHTDt_nRYU/URurqFcaz9I/AAAAAAAAEko/iWu6aab0Vx0/s1600/IMG_20130208_115341.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-woHTDt_nRYU/URurqFcaz9I/AAAAAAAAEko/iWu6aab0Vx0/s400/IMG_20130208_115341.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: right;">Even the pups agreed!&nbsp; (the bull dog is our neighbor's, she was over for a play date)</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-fNgsRfIvm40/URursSYkGrI/AAAAAAAAEk4/GjMgz9eB85I/s1600/IMAG3335.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-fNgsRfIvm40/URursSYkGrI/AAAAAAAAEk4/GjMgz9eB85I/s400/IMAG3335.jpg" width="225" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-H_HZ1AQM3c0/URurq6M8i6I/AAAAAAAAEkw/R_xP4KNg_u8/s1600/IMAG3336.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="179" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-H_HZ1AQM3c0/URurq6M8i6I/AAAAAAAAEkw/R_xP4KNg_u8/s320/IMAG3336.jpg" width="320" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">&nbsp;The pictures really don't due it justice - it was a winter wonderland.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">&nbsp; </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&nbsp;<img border="0" height="225" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-fi99wCN4Wok/URurtbc_sEI/AAAAAAAAElA/2rjIdO8dsQw/s400/IMAG3341-1.jpg" width="400" />&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Post run. A sweaty, but happy, mess. </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-22333807546081484592013-02-15T03:30:00.000-08:002013-02-15T03:30:00.873-08:00Poor, Poor Poncho <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; height: 351px; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left; width: 185px;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-XHKqyBMSkO0/URur4uVkykI/AAAAAAAAElY/hl-zWFvVoPI/s1600/IMAG3353.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-XHKqyBMSkO0/URur4uVkykI/AAAAAAAAElY/hl-zWFvVoPI/s320/IMAG3353.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> [So happy to be heading home!]</td></tr></tbody></table><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-H4rldxpxCkA/URur1i9yKDI/AAAAAAAAElI/k9oCfMWioXw/s1600/IMAG3355.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-H4rldxpxCkA/URur1i9yKDI/AAAAAAAAElI/k9oCfMWioXw/s320/IMAG3355.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[Yeeeouch]</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-mKOwa-WSxgw/URur2wt5gsI/AAAAAAAAElQ/SGJXpQcteaI/s1600/IMAG3358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-mKOwa-WSxgw/URur2wt5gsI/AAAAAAAAElQ/SGJXpQcteaI/s400/IMAG3358.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[Snoozing in the living room, rather than tackling all those stairs... ]</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">This is Poncho. Some of you know Poncho. Most people who meet Poncho love him.&nbsp; Unless they are really bothered by nervous peeing. He's got a bit of a problem with that. And he's a bit passive aggressive. And a rotten food-stealer. All in all, he's sort of an adorable mess of a dog and has been since he was very young. He has also been an old man since about 1 year old, but now that he is approaching 10, he is starting to be a bit more legitimately old.</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Anyhoo, poor Ponch blew out his ACL last year and we had it repaired over the summer. He's been doing much better ever since, until this past weekend when he started limping like crazy and was in obviously terrible pain. I was so upset, assuming that his ACL blew again somehow. :( We knew we wouldn't do the surgery again.But we took&nbsp; him to the vet and found out that a strap used in the surgery (that holds down the muscle over the implant while it heals, I think) slipped and was hanging lose in his leg. What? So, the vet kept him overnight and surgically removed the offending strap and sent Ponch home.&nbsp;</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">He practically RAN out of the office on Tuesday - so glad to be busted free I guess! He's still favoring it quite a bit, even though he should be using it more by now. He's kind of a baby... But he's on the mend. There was a bigger incision than I had expected but just glad that he's okay.&nbsp;</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">These fur babies sure steal your heart don't they?</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-43061976996959796572013-02-14T14:17:00.000-08:002013-02-14T14:17:00.113-08:00This Valentines Day ... Love Wins<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ujNoUazlwWY/UR0IUNBlT3I/AAAAAAAAEn8/XjJMVbCFfRo/s1600/IMAG3365-1-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ujNoUazlwWY/UR0IUNBlT3I/AAAAAAAAEn8/XjJMVbCFfRo/s320/IMAG3365-1-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-znMzEXFmzQI/UR0IW14tLtI/AAAAAAAAEoU/6bs2EisfVmE/s1600/IMAG3362.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-znMzEXFmzQI/UR0IW14tLtI/AAAAAAAAEoU/6bs2EisfVmE/s400/IMAG3362.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-rz6Gq4BgAlE/UR0IVphse9I/AAAAAAAAEoM/Z0zj2mWVoZI/s1600/IMAG3368-1-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-rz6Gq4BgAlE/UR0IVphse9I/AAAAAAAAEoM/Z0zj2mWVoZI/s320/IMAG3368-1-1.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-P3MN0teU1uk/UR0IU_zR62I/AAAAAAAAEoE/BHW2mHKvVqk/s1600/PhotoGrid_1360857017896.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="400" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-P3MN0teU1uk/UR0IU_zR62I/AAAAAAAAEoE/BHW2mHKvVqk/s400/PhotoGrid_1360857017896.jpg" width="400" />&nbsp;</a><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Happy Valentines Day!&nbsp; Mark surprised me by calling me at work yesterday afternoon to ask me out. :) It was our first time away together since Jhon's been home and even a short time away was nice. The kids were thrilled - mac n' cheese and chicken nuggets? Screen time on a school night! Score.&nbsp; We left around 6 and they were all showered, homework done. A new record.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">We've never been really big on celebrating Valentines Day with the kids before. They get so much stuff at school and whatnot, that I usually just make pink pancakes and call it good. But we decided to do a little more this year. Mark said that he wanted them to think of it as a day to be with people you love, your family, rather than a chocolaty -romantic holiday to get all worked up about. What a great lesson from your dad. :)&nbsp; </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">So we made some little cards with their names and hearts and (of course) glitter, let them have Pop Tarts and candy for breakfast, decorated the table with some flowers. Even this really small gesture had a big affect. They were all smiley.&nbsp; Loved it.&nbsp; Then I took 3 of them for their well child exams. Nothing says love like shots right? But it went okay. They were happy to head off to school to celebrate their "100th Day" and have a Valentines party in the afternoon. Fun fun.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-QhlRB5zz1BE/UR1OmFonYdI/AAAAAAAAEpo/IOZRD8s7-kA/s1600/IMG_20130206_204616.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-QhlRB5zz1BE/UR1OmFonYdI/AAAAAAAAEpo/IOZRD8s7-kA/s320/IMG_20130206_204616.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[My over-zealous trip to the library!]</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"> Also, last night I finished up a book that I also wanted to mention titled, appropriately, <a href="https://www.robbell.com/lovewins/">Love Wins</a>. I picked up this book on a total whim at the library last week. I've heard of the author, Rob Bell, since he is (was) a pretty famous pastor from our area. But we've never attended his church and (I'll admit) I was never particularly interested (in the church or the book). But I decided to give it a shot. I didn't know much about the book other than it was considered rather controversial and I heard he took a beating from a lot of Christians.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Upon digging into the first chapter, the first thing that jumped out at me was the style. It is composed of a lot of little paragraphs, more free-flowing and conversational than books typically are. It almost read more like a sermon than a book. This turned me off at first, but once I got used to it, the style actually made for a very quick read.&nbsp;</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">The book touches on a few hot button issues with Christianity such as heaven and hell and the traditionally accepted ways that you end up in one or the other. I hesitate to get into the content of the book too much. For one, I don't feel like being yelled at.&nbsp; Two, I think it's helpful to go into it with an open mind (at least I'm glad that I did).&nbsp; Here's a bit of a <a href="http://global.christianpost.com/news/rob-bell-tells-how-love-wins-led-to-mars-hill-departure-85995/#tJSOfeDImWHhv2E2.99">summary </a>of the book that I found online though, which provides some insight into its controversial nature:</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">"The main issue discussed in Bell's recent interview regards <i>Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived,</i>&nbsp;in which the former pastor questioned the existence of hell and the evangelical teaching that only those who believe in Jesus Christ go to heaven."</div><br /><br /><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I will say this. Regardless of what you believe - and whether you find Bell's arguments persuasive or inflammatory - its a book that just might make you think. Might make you ask questions about doctrines that have been accepted as true for hundreds of years. Bell offers Biblical support, including discussions of some very well-known parables. I have asked Mark to read it, as I think it would be a good discussion point for us, especially as we work to shape the faith-focus of our family.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I will also say that I really liked the book. I think Bell has a knack for capturing the power, the omnipresence of God, but never minimizing His complete and utter love for us. And, as Bell himself says, "[N]one of us have cornered the market on Jesus, and none of us ever will." </div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">&nbsp; </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-85118924839757586522013-02-13T12:22:00.000-08:002013-02-13T12:22:00.765-08:00Lent... and letting go.<div style="text-align: justify;">Today is Ash Wednesday.&nbsp; I grew up in a Catholic family and observed the Lenten season for many years. It has been awhile since I've considered myself a Catholic, but only a few years since I have stopped acknowledging the "rules" of Lent (i.e. many years of Friday tuna fish lunches, etc!).&nbsp; However, today I&nbsp; completely forgot it was Ash Wednesday until about an hour ago - after eating a leftover enchilada (with ground turkey).&nbsp; Sigh. Ah well, pretty sure God will forgive the turkey.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I digress.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have been thinking about Lent more this year than I have in awhile.&nbsp; Maybe it's just where I am at right now, but I know I *need* something and it must come from God. Despite knowing that, I have been struggling to get close to Him, finding excuses to make everything else the priority. As anyone could guess, that has simply caused a vicious cycle and left me feeling... just <i>off</i>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">What better time than Lent than to take steps toward God? To stop being so <i>off </i>and find a way back <b>on</b> again. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Usually during Lent, people give up luxuries, things like sweets or social media. Some form of penitence (I've given up pop and chocolate too many times to count!). This year, I'm working on giving up <span style="font-family: &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">control</span>. I spoke a little about control <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/02/adoption-and-control.html">here</a>, and although I do want to avoid micromanaging my family, what I am speaking about now is more about more generally giving up control to God. Trying less to get my ducks in a row (or a tight military formation!) and more about <u>trusting</u>. Not hoarding my fears and worries, but giving them up to the only One who can really do anything about them.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's about giving up the ugliness inside, letting it out; instead of trying to bury it and hide it and keep it for my own. It's about not having it all together - not pretending to have it all together - and not <i>needing </i>to have it all together. And appreciating the many blessings I have, whether I have it all together or not! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm still brainstorming what this might mean for the next 40(ish) days. I expect journaling, self reflection (perhaps some here, plenty privately).&nbsp; I have a few books I want to read.&nbsp; And prayer.<br /><br />[Side bar:&nbsp; Here's a confession - I find praying really hard. I get distracted. It's always been difficult for me to imagine this direct line with God in a way that makes prayer a natural conversation. One way I want to tackle this is to commit to at least one unplugged run a week - no music, no audio book. Just my thoughts or lack thereof. I am fairly confident that I will start talking to myself, which seems a good lead in to prayer. :) End side bar]</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Since February is already half over and I never actually sat down and gave myself some goals, I'm not going to. I'm going to work on this. I'm going to work on <span style="font-family: &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">letting go</span>...<br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/--S7WdUVqRQA/URv0Iu4alMI/AAAAAAAAEmo/3sQUJxX8p8A/s1600/IMG_20130213_145757.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/--S7WdUVqRQA/URv0Iu4alMI/AAAAAAAAEmo/3sQUJxX8p8A/s320/IMG_20130213_145757.jpg" width="320" /> </a> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-936116911775969192013-02-13T03:30:00.000-08:002013-02-13T03:30:00.624-08:00Adoption and Control<div style="text-align: justify;">Here's another little thing no one ever told me about adoption.&nbsp; It will change the way you parent.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Wait. Strike that. It <i>may</i> change the way your parent. At least, it did for me. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I wouldn't say I am a Type A person. I wouldn't say I am particularly laid back either. I think that, for the most part, I fall somewhere in between, ebbing and flowing, depending upon the day or the topic at issue. I never used to think of myself as a controlling person.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know parents that won't let their children out of the house unless they are spit-shined and perfectly dressed (matching of course).&nbsp; That's not a hot-button issue for me. Have any of you seen Ally? She never matches. :)&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But just because a combo of stripes and plaid doesn't get me all worked up, doesn't mean I don't want to control other things.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Was it always like this? Our pre-adoption days seem so long ago, but I don't think so. Especially not for my husband, who is in fact, a very laid back guy.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometime, very shortly after returning from Ethiopia the first time, our parenting style began to change. It had to. It was survival.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N3MvVUV2LTY/URr2I6SZsoI/AAAAAAAAEjQ/kC_qSKzXaT8/s1600/dad+kids+2008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N3MvVUV2LTY/URr2I6SZsoI/AAAAAAAAEjQ/kC_qSKzXaT8/s1600/dad+kids+2008.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">[Mark and the kids mid-2008]</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You see, Abi and Hana went from a life of very limited choice to one, by comparison, that was full of the unknown and new in almost every waking moment. New foods, new clothes, animals, people, weather, language. It was extraordinarily overwhelming and overstimulating. So the control started, in large, part, to minimize the stress for them.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">We would lay out two outfits for them to chose from, rather than give them full reign to dig through their closets. They could have this or that for lunch, a banana or an orange for snack. Sometimes, even limited choices were too much.&nbsp; Slowly, this changed, but it took time.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But the control went beyond food and clothing; it had to. Both kids had just spent&nbsp;significant&nbsp;time in an orphanage and there were consequences that needed to be addressed. We had to limit the amount of people in their lives who were permitted to give them physical affection. For example, we withdrew Abi from preschool (for several reasons, but) in part because his teachers were constantly hugging and holding him. Then, Mark would come to pick him up at lunch time and Abi would hide from him. It was not good for our attachment.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then we adopted an older child. The first few months we were just trying to&nbsp;awkwardly&nbsp;get to know each other, with out limited language skills. We knew we had "broken all the rules" on older child adoption by going so far out of birth order, so we were careful. We were observant and tried to keep an eye on everyone - to keep everyone safe and happy. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do you know what constant vigilance does to you after two years?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><u>It changes you</u>. It changes how you parent. It changes your norm, your status quo.<br /><br />But life continues to change. Kids continue to develop and grow and thrive. But control has not completely left us.<br /><br />Control - something that started out as a <i>benefit </i>to my children, a safety mechanism - has turned into something ugly and unhelpful. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I never wanted to be a helicopter mom. I didn't think I even had it in me. I don't double-check every answer on my kid's homework and then fix the ones that are wrong. I don't demand that teacher's change their grades. If they forget their lunches or library books, I don't run them up to the school. They deal with their own consequences.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">However, lately it has become clear to me that I <i>am </i>struggling with other control issues. It tends to crop up in different ways, catching me off guard. I'm doing my best to (1) be aware of it, and (2) address it. This appears to involve some soul-searching and introspection on my part. Blech. But it is a much-needed exercise, for the benefit of my kids and myself. It's hard enough to control my own life, I certainly don't need the extra obligation of micro-managing theirs. :) </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-73182114835688161892013-02-07T13:24:00.002-08:002013-02-07T13:24:57.123-08:00Three Things Thursday - Funk Edition(1) I've been in a terrible funk this week. Monday was the worst, but I was able to "hid" in my cubicle for the most part and not ruin anyone's day.&nbsp; It got a lot better by the evening, but hasn't quite fully dissipated. <br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img height="177" id="irc_mi" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EOKHf-78zPY/TWbG-L_TolI/AAAAAAAAArA/96fGNjfHYYE/s200/Calvin-bad-mood.gif" style="margin-top: 136px;" width="200" /></div><br />I think I've just got a lot of my plate. It's not that it's <u>too much</u> as it is the fact that I put off organizing and prioritizing what's <i>there</i>. :) I'm slowly working on that and feeling better, but still find that the residual funk is hanging on.<br /><br /><br />(2) Likely contributing to the funk is the fact that I'm still not quite feeling 100%. I haven't been able to hear out of my right ear in nearly three weeks and today I confirmed its still very infected. Awesome. The new "ringing" is an unpleasant addition...<br /><br />(3)&nbsp; It's snowing. Again. Another 6-12 inches predicted. It's pretty, but I'm really over it this year. Didn't that groundhog see his shadow??Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-55932198947769667152013-02-04T07:08:00.001-08:002013-02-04T07:08:39.774-08:00Bayshore Training Wk 3 - Buried Alive!<div style="text-align: justify;">Well, feeling more or like myself again (although not quite 100%), it was time to get back into training. It was a pretty bizarre week weather-wise. Monday the kids had a snow day, presumably due to the icy rain that was falling early. However, that abated rather quickly and turned into regular rain, washing all the snow away and the air warmed up oddly. I was busy catching up on work and had a lunch appt so I snuck in 4 miles after work (a time I rarely run). I had 5 on the plan, but I needed to see my kids a bit. :) I took Perry with me and tired him out. I ran in capris and without a jacket. So odd.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">On Wednesday I did 5 miles in the rain over my lunch break. Soggy, but done.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Thursday involved another "runch," this time <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/ice-encrusted-run.html">in a snow storm</a>. For realz. Tough run, but pretty bad$$.&nbsp; Friday was a rest day as planned, but not particularly restful since it was school carnival night. I know my kids love that stuff but ugh. The general claustrophobic-ness combined with the fact that I still can't hear out of one ear...? Not cool.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Saturday was a busy day, but I really wanted to get my long run in. I dragged myself out of bed, knowing I had 10 miles on the agenda. I wasn't scared of the 10 miles (although that's the longest I've run in a long time). I was just having trouble leaving a warm bed to run in the freezing darkness. I peek outside and see about a foot of new fallen, powdery snow EVERYWHERE. ugh. :( I know that nothing will be plowed this early.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-XLYwKQOpOnY/UQ_LFKi9MzI/AAAAAAAAEg8/6fEF8APmYcA/s1600/IMAG3298-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-XLYwKQOpOnY/UQ_LFKi9MzI/AAAAAAAAEg8/6fEF8APmYcA/s320/IMAG3298-1.jpg" width="320" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">[quite the win<span style="font-size: x-small;">ter wonderland]</span></span> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>&gt;&gt; Side note &lt;&lt;&nbsp; I hear Perry start to growl low in his throat so I look outside again. Someone is out "walking" her dog. And by walking, I mean her rat terrier is off-leash and running up into my yard (which is set quite a ways from my house) and proceeds to poop in my front yard, right in front of the window where my dogs are watching and getting very upset. I am trying to keep them quiet (kids are still sleeping). I walk out onto my front porch and yell down to the lady, asking if this is her dog (she was at least a house ahead at this point, paying no attention to it). She mumbles something like "oh yes, bad dog" but does not apologize, offer to clean up, nothing. I am livid and yell something about leash laws. Then I go back into the house before I say something I'll regret.&nbsp; What is WRONG with people?&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-fTqsV0joOVE/UQ_LEZtQgfI/AAAAAAAAEg0/2OfjeCyZKDI/s1600/IMAG3299.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-fTqsV0joOVE/UQ_LEZtQgfI/AAAAAAAAEg0/2OfjeCyZKDI/s320/IMAG3299.jpg" width="180" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">[<span style="font-size: x-small;">I dressed warm!]</span></span></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">&nbsp;</span></span> </div>So, I try and calm down and finish getting ready. I warm up with coffee, have a light breakfast and generally procrastinate. I know it's going to be a tough run (Thursday's was pretty exhausting and this is MUCH worse) but I finally drag myself out.&nbsp; There were a few faint vehicle tracks and I tried to run in those. After awhile I was able to fashion a loop around my neighborhood. Much shorter than the path I usually take, but the other streets did not even have car tracks to aim for. So I just looped and looped... and looped. I had to keep an eye on the time since I had a wedding shower to get to.&nbsp; I finally had to quit at just over 8 miles. :( It took me as long to run 8+ as it usually does 10!&nbsp; I was disappointed to not hit my mileage goal, but I think the additional effort in running through so much fresh powder (which is a lot like running in sand) off-sets the shortened distance. Fortunately, I wasn't sore. I wish I had taken a few photos while running - it was incredibly gorgeous, with so much snow sitting on the tree branches and falling in thick, heavy flakes. Alas, ti took all my effort to keep one foot in front of the other. :)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sunday I had planned to go to a spin class with a friend, but it didn't quite work out. Instead I cleaned/organized the basement and my room for hours. I think I'm counting that as cross training. :) We had a mini Super Bowl party with the kids which basically just consisted of junk food, but they had fun. :) All in all, the weekend blew by so quickly! Whew. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-34313657729779289002013-02-02T04:00:00.000-08:002013-02-02T04:00:08.330-08:00January Rewind <div style="text-align: justify;">WHOA.&nbsp; How, HOW can it possibly be February already. Seriously, I have a tough time wrapping my brain around it. Yet, all in all, January kind of ... well, it sucked. So, in many ways, glad to just put it behind us and move forward into February.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQPMLf5yOZHJ7vVm9uUc8xhbfXwQQY_4fUHJr2a_jfUILicZVXOLg" imageanchor="1"><img alt="Why a Deals Calendar is a Must" class="alignright size-full wp-image-9981" height="165" src="http://secondstreetlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/flipping-calendar.jpg" title="flipping calendar" width="296" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Still, I wanted to take a look back at my goals to hold myself accountable and re-evaluate to set some goals for the coming month.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">First, in January I pledged to tackle the overall goal of <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2012/12/change-and-challenge.html">starting my day right</a>, which I defined more or less as "focus on simply <span style="font-size: medium;">getting up when I need to get up</span> (as determined the night before)."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, how did I do?&nbsp; Pretty terrible. I kind of gave up on this halfway through.&nbsp; I started fairly strong and was journaling regularly and getting in (some) of my workouts first thing. But a couple of times I woke up and just had nothing - no desire to meditate or journal, no desire to run, nothing. Once, I even went back to bed (sad, I know). I still think that this has value and I'm continuing to work at it. Part of the problem is that I am often over-zealous at night and then I wake up and remember how COLD and DARK it really is at 5 a.m. Bah.&nbsp; I've also been on antibiotics and a ton of cold meds for awhile and they seem to be giving me really weird/bad dreams. I didn't' sleep well this month at all.&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Other goals?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: purple;">Running &amp; Fitness</b></span>&nbsp;- <b>My January goal is to get back to running 3-4 days <i>consistently </i>each week.&nbsp;</b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><u>RESULT </u>- More or less accomplished. I decided to jump into marathon training and my plan calls for 4 days/ week running. Except for <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/bayshore-training-wk-2-what-week-two.html">my sick week </a>I have stuck to my plan.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: medium;"><b>Financial </b></span>- <b>Get back to a written budget</b>.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;">RESULT - Done, but in the nick of time. :) Procrastinated right up until the end of the month, but do have a fairly comprehensive budget drafted for February and M and I are both committed to getting back on track. Bonus - I started our taxes.&nbsp; </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: medium;"><b>Career </b></span>- <b>Undertake some form of networking activity.&nbsp;</b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><u>RESULT </u>- Done, though not what I'd hoped for. I met with a friend of mine from law school twice, which ended up being not only fun, but a step forward in this department. However, I had to cancel another meeting I had set up and missed two networking events I had planned to attend because I was dead to the world for a week.&nbsp; </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: medium;"><b>Relationships </b></span>- <b>My goal for January is to have as many positive and purposeful one-on-one interactions as possible with Jhon.</b>&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JBKOK_wotlM/UQrjVnGU8TI/AAAAAAAAEfc/I2g06xL2KG8/s1600/j+and+m+snuggles.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JBKOK_wotlM/UQrjVnGU8TI/AAAAAAAAEfc/I2g06xL2KG8/s1600/j+and+m+snuggles.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a><span style="text-align: justify;"><u>RESULT</u>, Could have been better.&nbsp;&nbsp; I would give myself a "check mark" here, but I can't really say "done." It's going to take continual, planned effort on my part to really reach him one-on-one, but we are doing it. Last night, for example, I read a library book to him that he had picked out. It was a dinosaur almanac in Spanish. Do you know how hard it is to read about the Jurassic era in espanol! But it was a lot of fun. He was pretty interested and was even able to explain to me certain words that I could read but i didn't know. I don't think I will make this a continual "goal" as far as the blog goes, but I will continue to look for these opportunities to reach him one-on-one.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><u><span style="text-align: justify;">Other January News:</span></u></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="text-align: justify;">Miles Ran:&nbsp; </span></b><span style="text-align: justify;"><b>70</b>.&nbsp; Not too shabby considering a missed an entire week (in which I had planned to run 24 miles). </span><span style="text-align: justify;">Pretty pleased overall since it's a big jump from Nov and Dec, but I'm still feeling good and injury-free.</span><b><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><b>Books Read/Listened to:</b>&nbsp; Quitter by Jon Acuff (review here); <a href="http://www.cherylstrayed.com/wild_108676.htm">Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail </a>by Cheryl Strayed.&nbsp; <u>Wild </u>is all the rage right now in blog-land and was an Oprah bookclub book (which I didn't know before I listened to it - I'm not a big Oprah fan).&nbsp; My take? I was disappointed. The underlying story of pain and redemption certainly has great value, but it didn't really reach me. I don't consider myself a prude, but the frank discussions of drug use, infidelity, sex and so on struck me more as for shock value and just didn't strike an emotional cord with me.&nbsp; I was most interested in the parts about the trail and the hike itself, which are more of a set-up for the rest of her story than the subject of the book itself.&nbsp; However, I did listen to the entire book and was not really compelled to stop, so I suppose there is that. I don't think I will read it again.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><b>TV/Movie Obsession</b> - Hands down, <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/">Downton Abbey</a>. In January, Mark and I watched all of seasons 1 and 2 and caught up on 3.&nbsp; Love it. I'm a sucker for a good period piece and I'm really enjoying this one.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><b>Family Update</b> - Kids are keeping us busy. Hana decided to try basketball, so we've had Saturday games added to our schedule. </span><span style="text-align: justify;">S is conditioning for Spring soccer and attending youth group. </span><span style="text-align: justify;">It seems like we've had a million doctor appointments,which will continue into February. Something is always coming up with someone. Poor Mark ends up doing a ton of shuttling around after school. Trying to get a handle on this before we lose our minds. :) Mostly, it's fun and I'm glad the kids have found different activities to enjoy. And it makes me enjoy the lazy days when we are home together with no plans all the more!</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h9eUIFveEoY/UQrjYwEPyiI/AAAAAAAAEfk/oUCy_f21EV4/s1600/cute+boots.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h9eUIFveEoY/UQrjYwEPyiI/AAAAAAAAEfk/oUCy_f21EV4/s1600/cute+boots.JPG" height="200" width="200" /></a></div><span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span><span style="text-align: justify;"><b>Other things I'm loving?</b>&nbsp; Boots. Really enjoying the boot craze. However, I don't enjoy skinny jeans, which are kind of a must with the boots. :( These muscle-y calves were not made for skinny jeans! </span></div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-74468223803013859212013-02-01T03:30:00.000-08:002013-02-01T03:30:01.875-08:00"Don't Quit Your Day Job... Yet." Quitter by Jon Acuff <div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.daveramsey.com/store/prodquitter.html?s_kwcid=TC|6886|jon%20acuff%20quitter||S|b|5632087706&amp;gclid=CNHYtI-9krUCFcc7MgodAkAA1Q"><img alt="Quitter" height="320" src="http://www.daveramsey.com/store/renderImage.image?imageName=drstore/books/quitter_old.jpg&amp;width=320&amp;height=320&amp;padding=0" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I finally finished my first book of 2013, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Quitter-Closing-Between-Your-Dream/dp/0982986270">Quitter by Jon Acuff</a>. I actually purchased this book about a year ago, read ten pages, we decided to adopt again (losing all interest in the subject matter) and I set it aside. I finally picked it up again and I'm glad I did. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The concept of the book is simple. &nbsp;It's a sort of guidebook to following your career dreams in a practical way. The subtitle states "closing the gap between your day job and your dream job." However, I actually think that the marketing sells the book a bit short. Although the purpose of the book is correctly stated, the value of it goes further. &nbsp;Although I am beginning to work on my next career steps, I think I would have gotten value out of this book even if I had planned to stay at my existing job indefinitely.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The book starts with a chapter entitled "Don't Quit Your Day Job." I love that the book started out this way. Acuff explains how quitting your day job too quickly can be extremely damaging to your dream, because you are trading one boss (at your job) for another (bills without a plan to pay them!). &nbsp;This falls right in line with the advice of Acuff's current employer, <a href="http://www.daveramsey.com/home/">Dave Ramsey.</a>&nbsp;In following chapters he goes on to explain how to use your current job to further your dreams, encouraging you to find similarities between the two, even if they aren't obvious. He gives advice as to "Falling in Like with a Job You Don't Love" in Chapter 4:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">"Bad employees make horrible dreamers. You can't loaf on your day job all week and then expect to magically throw the switch on the weekend and hustle on your dream. The things you do on &nbsp;your day job tend to follow you home."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">One of my favorite bits of advice was to "Remember why you work." When days are tough and you think you can't tolerate another day at x, y, z job, think on the reasons you work - even the minor ones. Being able to pay your dentist for that emergency filling. Feeding your family. To wear shoes. To donate to charity. &nbsp;Everyone's list is different, but everyone can <i>make </i>a list. I know that it's easy for me to forget about those basic and essential points when I'm frustrated about something. &nbsp;This task also may help keep you in the present, appreciating the here and now and not constantly looking ahead to when things will be "better."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">There were some portions of the book I thought were helpful in other areas outside of career. For example, Acuff recommends that you define your "enough" in order to understand when you are successful. "The first taste of success, of winning, awakens the giant of enough. And if it's not already defined, it will grow out of control.... [D]efine what your enough will look like." This can be true with something like a health and fitness goal as well. If your goal is to just "run faster" than you can chase that goal your entire life. There is nothing wrong with continuing to improve your speed. However, but failing to define "success" at various points along the way, you don't get to enjoy your&nbsp;success&nbsp; It's never enough! Maybe you start with a 4:30 marathon and your second is a 4:05, a huge PR. But if you have allowed your definition of "fast" to morph and change and never be defined, you might be disappointed with that time. Defining "enough" does not mean you are limiting your goal setting. &nbsp;But it allows you to recognize success, enjoy it and reevaluate, rather than end up on a constantly searching battle for more.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I enjoyed this book. It was a fairly quick and easy read and contained some good advice. Well worth the $10 price, although I suspect many libraries also carry it. Jon Acuff has an <a href="http://www.jonacuff.com/blog/">interesting blog </a>as well. &nbsp;He doesn't know me and I certainly didn't get anything to give this review. &nbsp;I just enjoyed the book. :)&nbsp;</div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-64163728154394143732013-01-31T13:21:00.002-08:002013-01-31T13:21:45.753-08:00Ice encrusted run<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Here's a secret. I didn't want to run today. Actually, that is true many days.&nbsp; Well, not exactly. I don't want to start running. It's the starting that is usually the hardest. The stopping what your are doing (or getting out of bed), getting dressed and heading into the cold. I've been shuffling runs a bit all week and missed Tuesday completely, so I needed to go today.&nbsp; As I headed to the bathroom to change at lunch, this is what I saw out the window: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&nbsp;<a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh3.ggpht.com%2F-jWA5EMMFmcM%2FUQreEiEGwwI%2FAAAAAAAAEeM%2FKeuGVwyhvpg%2Fs640%2FIMAG3285.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-jWA5EMMFmcM/UQreEiEGwwI/AAAAAAAAEeM/KeuGVwyhvpg/s640/IMAG3285.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And this on my way outside:&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&nbsp;<a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F-KvZMlTCqT3E%2FUQreCz2-uRI%2FAAAAAAAAEd8%2F4aEACCHTbes%2Fs640%2FIMAG3286.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-KvZMlTCqT3E/UQreCz2-uRI/AAAAAAAAEd8/4aEACCHTbes/s640/IMAG3286.jpg" height="320" width="180" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&nbsp;(It wasn't quite this dark, the photo is misleading)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">It was really coming down! That lake effect can do us in now and then. I silently cursed myself for forgetting my YaxTrax and headed out. I turned on my Garmin but it was taking forever to get a signal, so I just took off, planning to stick to my general route.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">It was beautiful and cold and wet. Frankly, kind of a slog. The snow was so deep along the sidewalk, I often felt like I was shuffling along instead of running nimbly!&nbsp; Mid-way through I was cursing myself for not taking a shorter route. But I was stuck, so I kept going.&nbsp; </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh6.ggpht.com%2F-bUakqdpseGM%2FUQreD0qIOzI%2FAAAAAAAAEeE%2F2sID1J64M60%2Fs640%2FIMAG3287.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-bUakqdpseGM/UQreD0qIOzI/AAAAAAAAEeE/2sID1J64M60/s640/IMAG3287.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a>&nbsp;By the end I was glad I had gone. Felt so good to have a solid run done and out of the way. And it feels kind of bada$$ to run in a snow storm. :)&nbsp; The end.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F-14SapRKxx4o%2FUQreB6XvybI%2FAAAAAAAAEd0%2FSlXpV9KzL14%2Fs640%2FIMAG3288.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-14SapRKxx4o/UQreB6XvybI/AAAAAAAAEd0/SlXpV9KzL14/s640/IMAG3288.jpg" height="320" width="179" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-92108112190587483752013-01-31T03:19:00.001-08:002013-01-31T03:19:04.229-08:00Update on my Lil' Colombiano<div style="text-align: justify;">I have a few posts half drafted and others swirling around my head, but being so sick last week left me pretty behind in all areas of life. In the meantime, I realized I haven't given many updates on how Jhon is doing lately.&nbsp; Here's a a quick mish-mash update!&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;">Well. Jhon is doing really well.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F-mvdiYXUvlOw%2FUQnP4zuESVI%2FAAAAAAAAEcU%2FmFzBWeZONN0%2Fs640%2FIMAG3251.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-mvdiYXUvlOw/UQnP4zuESVI/AAAAAAAAEcU/mFzBWeZONN0/s640/IMAG3251.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">[He has his own sense of style]</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>I know, that means nothing. But it's true. For the most part, he's slipped into our family very seamlessly. He just so obviously ... belongs (?) with us. I suppose I can't say it better than that. He's a busy boy and off and running most of the time. He's not really one to sit on your lap and snuggle. He'd much prefer jumping off of bunk beds and wrestling and battling with light sabers and who knows what else.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">That brings me to another point. As much as he has so easily slipped into our family, we have definitely noticed changes! Another boy in the mix really makes a difference.&nbsp; The overall amount of NOISE and rough housing has gone up a notch. It's not just Abi and Jhon either. The other night we finally had to nix playtime early and send them to bed with books after Ally came down with a bloody lip and Jhon 5 minutes later crying and holding his head. I have no idea what they were doing, but they apparently couldn't tone it down! Not to worry - everyone is fine. It's just an adjustment!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I think we are getting Jhon's health squared away. The first few months are always full of check ups and appointments, updated vaccines, and tests. Even before leaving Colombia, we knew he had perforated ear drums.&nbsp; We were able to get him into an ENT recently who thinks he needs surgery.&nbsp; :( It's fairly extensive for the little guy, so we are doing some research and getting a second opinion to be sure. Although his ears can be a bit "leaky" they don't seem to hurt him much, so we're thankful for that. The boy sure hates shots though. Ugh.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh3.ggpht.com%2F-TeYDyJFSYMI%2FUQnP1dwMuJI%2FAAAAAAAAEcE%2FPQ3jsW515Io%2Fs640%2FIMAG3204-1-1.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-TeYDyJFSYMI/UQnP1dwMuJI/AAAAAAAAEcE/PQ3jsW515Io/s640/IMAG3204-1-1.jpg" height="259" width="320" /></a></div><br />And the question that I get ALL THE TIME - How's his English coming?&nbsp; Well ... I admit I'm surprised he's not speaking more by now, although he clearly understands quite a bit. I think he's being a bit stubborn about it.&nbsp; But it seems to be sneaking in slowly, whether he likes it or not. And he still has his adorable Colombian accent, so it's very cute when he does try out his English.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Despite his almost-entirely Spanish vocabulary, he started school in early January and seems to like it. We have conferences coming up, so I hope to get a better picture. He has the same kindergarten teacher that Abi and Al had, and we love her. I told her that my desire for him this year was to just get comfortable in school and get more exposure to English. I had no academic expectations.&nbsp; I think she was relieved. :) </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, yup, he's doing great!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F-NUGHEpRqHBA%2FUQnQHkCpcxI%2FAAAAAAAAEck%2Fc6eKYlV9fpA%2Fs640%2FIMAG3271.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-NUGHEpRqHBA/UQnQHkCpcxI/AAAAAAAAEck/c6eKYlV9fpA/s640/IMAG3271.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">[J and Al eating a bag of salad like popcorn?]</span></div><i>But</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">No, things aren't always perfect. He's definitely done more hitting and physically acting out the last few weeks, often the result of a misunderstanding/language issue. Like many children in his situation, transitions are stressful for him and he's recently started acting out physically. Not necessarily in an extreme way and sometimes very minor. But we are noticing it more now that we are paying attention. I expect this will fade in time and I think he often doesn't realize he is doing it (or it's a knee-jerk reaction). He's very obsessed with playing Mario on the Wii to a point we have to keep it limited because it's a bit unhealthy. And he's a bit of a tattler. And if he feels wronged, he will go on and on in Spanish and neither Mark or I can quite understand, but it's clear he is being very disrespectful to us. At the core, most of this is language stuff and him feeling misunderstood. And I'm sure the aspects of grief and fear play in as well. I haven't seen many outward signs of grief yet, but I believe he's just too busy and in survival mode at this point. It may take him years until he is ready or comfortable enough to truly grieve. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">All that being said, he's a truly wonderful boy. Attachment seems to be going quite well, on all sides. I couldn't imagine life without him. <br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Qv4j20ZJKXY/UQnP3GQCrcI/AAAAAAAAEcM/53f-V4UMWos/s1600/IMAG3244.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Qv4j20ZJKXY/UQnP3GQCrcI/AAAAAAAAEcM/53f-V4UMWos/s640/IMAG3244.jpg" height="180" width="320" /> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">[Tired out after a long day...]</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-64318365435025778212013-01-28T03:30:00.000-08:002013-01-28T03:30:00.918-08:00Bayshore Training Wk 2 - What week two?<div style="text-align: justify;">So, this will be a short post. &nbsp;I mentioned in my <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/bayshore-training-wk-1-get-er-done.html">week 1 recap</a> that I was pretty sick last Saturday, but I was able to get my long run in Sunday. Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. Tuesday found me in urgent care, with another doctor visit on Friday. The long and short is that it was a nasty upper respiratory infection (viral) that caused horrendously painful ear infections (like keep-you-up-all-night-crying-curled-into- the-fetal-position-infections). &nbsp;Add in some wicked fatigue, sore throat and general feeling rotten-ness... well, it was a rough week.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then, as a fun after-effect, my ears plugged up and I lost my voice. So, I can't really hear well or speak very well. Lovely. My husband said if someone stole my glasses, I would have to communicate like Helen Keller. (Not very PC I suppose, but it made me laugh.)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Result? &nbsp;No running. :(</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">All week.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm not going into this training with a ton of confidence, so this wasn't exactly what I needed, but I also knew that making myself even sicker was not going to help matters. &nbsp;I hope to start this Monday off with my scheduled run, taking it easy, and fingers crossed things can get back to normal!&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And even MORE fingers crossed that this crud moves out of our house soon! Seems like SOMEONE has been sick since we got back from Colombia. Need some health in this house soon.&nbsp;</div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-13564584098169363002013-01-23T03:30:00.000-08:002013-01-23T03:30:04.085-08:00Some Recent Luvs ... <br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, my three day weekend was rather ruined by a nasty cold which induced an extraordinarily painful ear infection (more specifically two - the middle <i>and </i>outer ear of my right ear are infected. The left ear has a bunch of fluid but is not really infected yet. Lovely). Anyhoo, I'm still feeling pretty rotten, so something rather mindless and cheery is just what I need to post about!&nbsp; So, here are a few things I'm enjoying lately, with no particular order or meaning:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>What I'm watching ....</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><u>DOWNTON ABBEY</u>.&nbsp; Okay, okay, I was late to this party, but still! We breezed through the first season (available on Netflix) in about a week and the second (available on amazon prime) a bit longer.&nbsp; We just started the season premier (PBS website) last night, but it was too long to finish. I really enjoy this as a period piece, as a commentary on class and a look at the various hierarchies&nbsp; within the aristocratic family and their servants as well. Fascinating.&nbsp; Bonus - Mark likes it too!&nbsp; I'm always interested in everyone's favorite characters. I think mine is Mr. Carson. Or maybe the Dowager Countess (I do love Maggie Smith).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://pbs.merlin.cdn.prod.s3.amazonaws.com/curatedwebobjects%2FtmpvDiZPC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" id="il_fi" src="http://pbs.merlin.cdn.prod.s3.amazonaws.com/curatedwebobjects%2FtmpvDiZPC.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="200" /></a><img height="256" id="il_fi" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M0MGMvTCSvY/UOMPl7Bg8yI/AAAAAAAAGtk/tRUEjh_v3XA/s320/DowntonAbbey%5B1%5D.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="320" />&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32400000/Jorah-Mormont-game-of-thrones-32441285-508-674.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" id="il_fi" src="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32400000/Jorah-Mormont-game-of-thrones-32441285-508-674.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="150" /></a> I'm also excited about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_of_Thrones_%28season_3%29">Season 3</a> of <u>Game of Thrones</u>! Storm of Swords might have been my favorite book of the series so far. Lots going on for sure. Interesting fact - Ser Jorah of Thrones was also a regular character on Downton, Season 2!</div><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>What I'm reading...</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQGvpawhCVKPywCnkv9cQ20wVGtyCSjf1ETxkYjpX0PjgmGSuEmk4cQneIj" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" id="il_fi" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQGvpawhCVKPywCnkv9cQ20wVGtyCSjf1ETxkYjpX0PjgmGSuEmk4cQneIj" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 8px;" width="225" /></a>I just finished reading <a href="http://www.quitterbook.com/"><u>Quitter</u>, by Jon Acuff.</a> I'm hoping to do a bit of a review about this soon.&nbsp; The general gist is that it is a book about following your dreams, career-wise: "closing the gap between your dream job and your day job."&nbsp; But I think the book is much more than that and found more than a few gems and things that got me thinking about all areas of my life.&nbsp; I would recommend it even if you aren't looking to quit your job.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/TheNightCircus.jpg/200px-TheNightCircus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" id="il_fi" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/TheNightCircus.jpg/200px-TheNightCircus.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="131" /></a>I have gathered several others recommendations and gotten a few other books from the library. I've started several that are all good, but a bit depressing, which isn't what I"m looking for right now. I may have to table those for the time being. &nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://static.oprah.com/images/201107/omag/201107-omag-books-what-alice-284xfall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="What Alice Forgot" border="0" height="200" src="http://static.oprah.com/images/201107/omag/201107-omag-books-what-alice-284xfall.jpg" title="What Alice Forgot" width="188" /></a>&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Two books I enjoyed reading last year include the <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9361589-the-night-circus">Night Circus</a> and <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6469165-what-alice-forgot">What Alice Forgot</a>. Just in case you needed some suggestions. :)&nbsp; Both kept me entertained but not overwhelmed. <u>What Alice Forgot</u> isn't particularly deep on the surface (and would likely be better if a sizable chunk of the story was removed), but it gave me a lot to think about in my own life. Led to some good mind ramblings...<u>Night Circus </u>was a really neat story about magic, fantasy and real life coming together, which a bit of a historic element. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>&nbsp;What I'm listening to...</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.cherylstrayed.com/images/Boot_jkt-330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" src="http://www.cherylstrayed.com/images/Boot_jkt-330.jpg" width="134" /></a>I'm pretty terrible when it comes to keeping up on music and such. I'm a big fan of audio books and listen to them quite a bit when I run.&nbsp; I also like podcasts.&nbsp; I'm currently listening to <a href="http://www.cherylstrayed.com/wild_108676.htm">Wild, but Cheryl Strayed,</a> a story about a woman hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. I started this on my 9 miler on Sunday and, frankly, the beginning is super-depressing. I likely would have changed it, but I was so cold I didn't want to stop running. It definitely picked up for me when it got to the hiking part. I am looking forward to finishing it. I'm also enjoying the <a href="http://anothermotherrunner.com/">another<b> </b>mother runner</a> podcasts, which I think would be pretty entertaining even if you aren't a mother. But that's hard for me to say since I am. :)&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> <a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2JWoYyRlTeBtmksArG4aJ01D9TN5PrhjW0mEUP0yaYl8ADrzn7mxK_gvZCw" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" id="il_fi" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2JWoYyRlTeBtmksArG4aJ01D9TN5PrhjW0mEUP0yaYl8ADrzn7mxK_gvZCw" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;.&nbsp; <i><b></b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b><br /></b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b><br /></b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b><br /></b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>What I'm wearing...</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b><br /></b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Warm stuff. It's like - 15 degrees. To be honest, even aside from being sick, I would be struggling with my running in this weather. I have cold running apparel, but nothing that's really appropriate for below zero temps. I'm just hoping it warms up a tad while I'm recovering!&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, that's enough randomness for one day!&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-41063917109241115822013-01-22T08:31:00.000-08:002013-01-22T08:31:14.119-08:00Bayshore Training Wk 1 - Get 'er Done<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Given that this is only week one of about 20 weeks of training, perhaps I should be a bit worried when the first though that came to my mind to describe this week was "get 'er done."&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">But, I'm not.&nbsp; I know that it is a bit of a stretch for me to be training for another marathon right now - both because of where my running base is at, and because of so much going on personally. Yet, I'm excited. I need a goal like this and having something to focus on outside of parenting, job hunting, working and other such day-to-day tasks has always been good for me. So, I needed to get it done!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">This was a tough week to "start" marathon training. I just happened to have a lot going on that messed with my "normal" running schedule. I did two of my three weekday runs at night, which I typically hate.&nbsp; I'm breaking in <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/ugly-feet-and-shoes-they-wear.html">new shoes</a> as well and I can feel that as well. &nbsp; So what's the high point of my week?&nbsp; The fact that I did it all anyways. I got all of my scheduled runs in one way or another. Even on those cold and rainy-ish days, I still went. And that's something.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></div><br /><i style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;">&nbsp; </i><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://d1wh43egtz3cgo.cloudfront.net/promotion_images/0409/2378/original/goals-day-15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="goals-day-15" border="0" height="223" src="https://d1wh43egtz3cgo.cloudfront.net/promotion_images/0409/2378/original/goals-day-15.jpg" style="border: 0px none;" width="193" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The funny thing is that I wrote most of this post on Friday, with plans to get my long run in Saturday with no problems. Friday night I came down with this terrible cold. I couldn't move Saturday. I did end up getting my long run in Sunday, but I"m not sure it was a good choice because I'm still pretty sick overall. So it was a very much "get er done" week but I probably could've handled it smarter. Unfortunately, that means week 2 will be a NOT get er done week so I can recover...&nbsp; </span></div></div><br /><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">Things that went right this week:</span></u><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">* Completed all scheduled runs! (could be a con - see above) </span><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">* Two days of strength and two days of core work as planned!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">* Kept my runs within my prescribed paces. </span><br /><br /><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">Things I need to improve on:</span></u><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">* I continue to work towards a more even pace. This week's runs were (almost all) within my desired range, but they were still kind of all over the board (and/or felt all over the board)</span><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">* I have been TERRIBLE about getting up in the morning as planned, which required more scheduling shuffling than there should have been. I just create more stress when I do this. &nbsp;&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;"><b>Total miles for the week (planned/completed):&nbsp; 22/22 </b></span><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">&nbsp;</span><i style="font-style: italic; font-weight: normal;"> </i>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-18516853794082164012013-01-21T17:33:00.001-08:002013-01-21T17:33:21.477-08:00Race and Running... A Question of Diversity? <div style="text-align: justify;">This morning I read a post from <a href="http://anothermotherrunner.com/2013/01/20/why-is-road-running-such-a-white-sport-in-the-u-s/">another mother runner</a> which noted the general lack of diversity in the running community. These women travel to races and expos all over the country and, overall, have viewed a very white field. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have to be honest. With my transracial family, I consider myself to be pretty observant about diversity. Sometimes I worry I'm over-vigilant. But this post came at me out of left field. I had not really thought about it with regards to running. Yet, once I did, my mind flashed immediately to the few races I've run. Other than Detroit, they were very, well, white. And even Detroit... I would be curious about the racial breakdown between the 5k, half marathon and marathon. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then I thought about S's cross country team. CC is hugely popular at her school. There are approximately 70 kids on the team. She is the only girl of color. There is one Indian boy. &nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Why?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;What barriers exist and how do we break them down?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">On one hand, running is a very inexpensive form of fitness. A good pair of shoes and you're off. Arguably there are more basics (a supportive bra for one!) but shoes are key. But not cheap. Is this cost a factor? Some other unavailability? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I hope it's not a feeling of exclusion. Generally speaking, I have found runners as a group to be welcoming and compassionate, supportive regardless of your pace. But what kinds of exclusions may be happening, even unintentionally? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If I, someone who often has race on her mind, completely missed the lack of diversity... What else am I missing? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="huge bqQuoteLink" style="background-color: #e6e6e6; border: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15pt; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">"<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/martinluth109228.html" style="border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: initial;" title="view quote">The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.</a></span><span style="background-color: #e6e6e6; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;">&nbsp;"</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">~Martin Luther King Jr.~</div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-69552740832993612652013-01-17T07:04:00.001-08:002013-01-17T07:04:15.529-08:00Blustery but DONE<div style="text-align: justify;">Needed to knock out five miles yesterday, which was more than I'm willing to take on in the morning. That left me with my lunch break. The sun was out but it was wiiiiiindy. I was either hot or cold - nothing in between. Couldn't get my groove, feet felt awkward. Not the best run.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-uK-djdHBrVw/UPgRGIrwgeI/AAAAAAAAEas/V0qjqLpA-eo/s1600/IMAG3229.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-uK-djdHBrVw/UPgRGIrwgeI/AAAAAAAAEas/V0qjqLpA-eo/s320/IMAG3229.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[See, I'm blowing away]</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div style="text-align: center;">BUT.&nbsp;</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I did all five miles. And ended on a high note. One more check mark in the training log and a smile on my face. I'll take it.&nbsp; And I ended the evening with a little core workout. I've been trying to make core and strength work a bigger priority.&nbsp; As you can see, the dogs were very interested.&nbsp; These were my views:<br /><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-wtbGjM3ftnU/UPgRFYBVcaI/AAAAAAAAEak/qZB0zr7yrKE/s320/IMG_20130117_095416.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[29...30... just five more crunches!]</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-wtbGjM3ftnU/UPgRFYBVcaI/AAAAAAAAEak/qZB0zr7yrKE/s1600/IMG_20130117_095416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-Bj_vQBCGqh4/UPgRHPSWh2I/AAAAAAAAEa0/OEOYPgR--zw/s320/IMG_20130117_095312.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[What's a metronome? Can I sniff your face?]</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-Bj_vQBCGqh4/UPgRHPSWh2I/AAAAAAAAEa0/OEOYPgR--zw/s1600/IMG_20130117_095312.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"> </a> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-69545059584022565352013-01-16T03:30:00.000-08:002013-01-16T03:30:00.964-08:00Ugly Feet and the Shoes They Wear<div style="text-align: justify;">The first and most important rule of running is simple - get the right shoes.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Go to an actual running store and have someone size you properly. Ideally, this person will also ask you questions about how much you do (or plan to) run, on what surface, what you are looking for, etc. Maybe you are looking for a minimal shoe, or something with a wide toe box. Maybe you need stability inserts. Who knows? The running store people. They know.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Are they perfect? Nope. But they know more than the average newbie and certainly more than me.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So why is this rule hard for me to follow? Why is it every time I am due for new shoes, I go back and try on a bunch of new models, hoping for a new winner to emerge?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because I don't <u><i>love </i></u>my shoes. Maybe it's a vanity thing, but I adore the fun colors that many running shoes come in.&nbsp; And the smooth, sleek designs of some of the new minimal lines (like the <a href="http://www.brooksrunning.com/Brooks-PureProject/pureproject,default,pg.html">Brooks Pure Project</a>) are awesome.&nbsp; AND i want comfort. I want my shoes to feel like puffy clouds carrying me along.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But guess what?&nbsp; Cute shoes and wide, messed up feet don't get along. Bah.&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Early on, I was fitted with Brooks Adrenalines.&nbsp; I was lukewarm from the start. The shoe fit right - I grudgingly agreed with the store employees.&nbsp; But when you need a D width, there are no cute colors - just the basic. And when you have a collapsed arch, you need some support - and support is heavy. Not sleek and stylish.&nbsp; I so, so wanted to be able to wear a more minimal shoe. I loved the idea and the science behind it all.&nbsp; I did a bunch of research and thought that the&nbsp;<a href="http://www.altrazerodrop.com/fitness/en/Altra/Women/intuition-15">Altra Zero Drop Intuition</a> would be perfect.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I bought them right before Colombia. I <i>loved </i>them. They felt wonderful on my feet. I walked a ton in them while in Colombia (still in love!) but didn't get a chance to run in them until I got back. The first few runs went pretty well. Different, but do-able. Unfortunately, it actually went downhill from there...<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-9qhVTZ8WA_A/UOHljxd42YI/AAAAAAAAEPA/1mInAzgqSsg/s320/IMAG3072.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="180" /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I wrote about my <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2012/12/out-with-whimper.html">feet going numb on NYE</a>.&nbsp; That has happened <u>every </u>time I have run in those shoes since then. I have tried to integrate them more slowly and only for shorter runs. On Saturday, I decided to run the first part of my long run in them and see how they went, planning to change them at 4 miles. My feet were already feeling super tingly by mile 2. : /&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm not giving up, but I am starting to move on. I can keep slowly working on my Altras to see if I can train my feet and calf muscles to handle them.&nbsp; But in the meantime, I have a <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/oops-i-did-it-again.html">marathon to train for</a> and I don't want to injure myself over stubbornness! So, I bit the bullet and headed back to the running store yesterday, once again planning to try on a few different options. I asked for the <a href="http://www.brooksrunning.com/Adrenaline-GTS-13/1201231B444.050,default,pd.html">new Adrenalaines</a> (I've been running in the 12s, 13s came out in the fall), as well as the Brooks <a href="http://www.brooksrunning.com/Ravenna-3/1201071B594.050,default,pd.html?start=3&amp;cgid=womens-runningshoes-guidance">Ravenna</a>, <a href="http://www.brooksrunning.com/Brooks-Ghost-5-Womens-Running-Shoe/1201131B944.050,default,pd.html?start=2&amp;cgid=womens-runningshoes-neutral">Ghost </a>and <a href="http://www.brooksrunning.com/Brooks-PureCadence-2/1201341B554.050,default,pd.html?start=7&amp;cgid=womens-runningshoes-pure">Pure Cadence</a>. Pure Cadence are adorable, but tight. No wide width in the Pure Project line. Even sizing up wasn't going to make it work. Sad. The Ghost and the Ravennas felt pretty good, but the new Adrenalaines just felt better. I knew I had to stick with them. So, Perry and I took the new pair out for 4 miles last night. Well, he let me wear the shoes.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I still don't love them.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But they're growing on me... </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><br />Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-37445858636019768842013-01-15T12:10:00.000-08:002013-01-15T12:10:04.452-08:00Oops I did it again... <div style="text-align: justify;">It's <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/struggling.html">no secret</a> that it's taken me a little time to find my running-groove since returning from <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/search/label/Colombia">Colombia</a>. Stress, adjustment, lack of discipline, etc all compounded to make it an uphill battle (or feel like one) to get out the door.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Slowly, this has been changing. Last week I ran 22 miles. They weren't all wonderful, but overall it was a great week. I felt strong. Challenged, but not terribly so.&nbsp; Naturally, feeling all recharged, I decided I needed a goal. Why sit idle and just enjoy it?&nbsp; ;)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I purposely set very few running goals for myself early in 2013 (races or otherwise).&nbsp; I left for Colombia right on the heels of the <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2012/10/detroit-marathon-race-recap-im-killing.html">Detroit Marathon</a>, during a time I was feeling pretty burned out - about running, work, and everything in between. I did not know how Jhon would adjust and how long it would take for life to feel "normal."&nbsp; Well, we're busy and we're still adjusting, but life has felt pretty "normal" for awhile.&nbsp; I wanted a spring goal and, for some reason, I was not feeling particularly motivated by the <a href="http://www.53riverbankrun.com/">Riverbank Run 25k </a>(which is odd since I l<a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2012/05/race-recap-fifth-third-riverbank-run.html">oved the race last year</a>).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then I found out <a href="http://www.livelaughrunbreathe.com/">Bari </a>was training for the <a href="http://www.bayshoremarathon.org/half-marathon">Bayshore Half Marathon</a> in Traverse City in May (voted one of the <a href="http://www.bestroadraces.com/bayshore/marathon">best road races</a> in North America), which pretty much sold out the day registration opened. Of course this peaked my interest - Bayshore is definitely on my list.&nbsp; I poked around the website.&nbsp; The half was full, but... there were still slots open for the <a href="http://www.bayshoremarathon.org/marathon">marathon</a>. Ummm.... what? I go from I can-barely-run-five-miles to I-want-to-train-for-a-spring-marathon?! &nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yeah, I did.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Surprisingly, I then did something smart. I did NOT immediately register.&nbsp; Instead, immediately emailed my much MUCH more experienced (and highly motivated) friend <a href="http://seemomrunfar.blogspot.com/">Erin</a>.&nbsp; She knew what my running (and non-running) has been like lately, but she still thought I could handle it if I started immediately!&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So... I did.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I registered for the 31st annual Bayshore Marathon on May 25, 2013.&nbsp; 26 miles along the shore of Lake Michigan? Yes please!&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><img height="185" id="il_fi" src="http://www.ujenafitclub.com/nomim/763.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="582" /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><br />Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-73738718824393463912013-01-09T04:00:00.000-08:002013-01-09T04:00:01.279-08:00Something New Adoptive Parents Should Know... <div style="text-align: justify;">As a sort of follow up to <a href="http://ifthisiscrazy.blogspot.com/2013/01/what-every-new-parent-should-know.html">my musings yesterday</a>, I have been thinking about an offshoot topic. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">First, I read a great blog post yesterday that every adoptive parent (or friend or family member of an adoptive family) should read. "<a href="http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport">After the Airport</a>" is a great summary of how a truly wonderful thing (adoption of your child) is not an <u>easy</u> thing. In fact, it can be terribly sad and frustrating and scary and ... exhausting, especially at first. I truly don't remember much of the first three months after Hana and Abi joined our family.&nbsp; There was just so much adjusting for all of us. They were learning a new language and how to live in a family and we all had size adjusting to do. It was honestly a really, really hard time. Was I happy to have my kids home. YES YES YES. Would I do it again? Obviously, I've done it twice more.&nbsp; But <b>it was hard</b>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Right around that 3 month mark, things eased up. Hana and Abi had learned quite a bit of English, so communication issues were less fierce.&nbsp; We were all settling in and learning about each other.&nbsp; It was at that point that we finally felt like we were capable of parenting another and we decided to pursue Selam's adoption.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't know if I've really blogged about it too much, but we had to jump through quite a few hoops to get approved to adopt Selam. A couple of major issues were our age (we were pretty young to parent an almost-teen), the fact that she would be our oldest child (major birth order disruption), and that it had been <u>less than a year since our last adoption</u>.&nbsp; The last issue was quickly waived due to the fact that Hana and Selam are siblings.&nbsp; I remember dismissing it as an issue myself, at the time.&nbsp; We were ready. Hana and Abi were doing great. <i>We could handle it.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And all of those things were true. All still <i>are </i>true. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But what I have only recently realized is that no matter how "fine" things are after 3 months, 12 months or 5+ years... it's not ever quite <span style="font-size: large;">fine</span>. The honeymoon period might last you only hours, but it could last years. You may have no idea what kind of underlying trauma has affected your kids before they were part of your lives. You don't know how various parts of their past - a past they may not remember - has formed and shaped their little hearts and souls.&nbsp; You can't know because they don't know.&nbsp; These scars run deep, but are often hidden for some time. It may take years and years before your child will trust you - if ever.&nbsp; Yes, you have to be prepared that your baby may never truly trust you, as heartbreaking as that would be. Because that's reality for some. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">All this may affect your child's personality, their academic performance, their most basic brain functions and sense of reason. And their hearts. Always their hearts.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And although the first three months are tough tough <i>tough </i>and full of adjustment, time does not necessarily make things easier, but different. Less about triage, about putting out fires, and more about doing everything you can to help them heal inside and out. And this is an ongoing process.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Any adoptive parent that tells you otherwise is lying - to you or themselves or both. I don't care if your child was 2 days old when they joined your family, she suffered trauma. I don't care how many times your son has been on the honor roll - somewhere, he's probably hurting and needs your help.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't say this to dissuade people from adopting. On the contrary, we have now adopted four times and although I don't plan on doing so again, I learned that I will "never say never." But I have also learned that I cannot just look at my family <i>now </i>and think "oh sure we could do it again" or "they are all adjusting so well, we could handle another" or "there is not need for therapy, everyone is so well adjusted!" Because trauma and grief simply don't work that way. Don't be complacent. They may need you (and need to heal) as much 5 or 10 years after homecoming as much as they did at 5 months... and maybe more. </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218831630556000379.post-22832071169722939762013-01-08T12:26:00.001-08:002013-01-08T12:26:34.562-08:00What Every New Parent Should Know<br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I've been thinking a lot about parenting lately. I guess that's what six kids will do for you. ;)&nbsp; I'm at an age where many of my peers are pregnant with #1 or #2, cuddling newborns, or sleep deprived and chasing after toddlers.&nbsp; I expect that some envy us with 2 kids at a babysitting age and the others old enough to function without constant supervision.&nbsp; After all, we must have it pretty easy now!&nbsp;<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F-Bsuk4De_56k%2FUOyApIe4dRI%2FAAAAAAAAEZM%2FuxzjktFSj4E%2Fs640%2FIMAG3119-1-1.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Bsuk4De_56k/UOyApIe4dRI/AAAAAAAAEZM/uxzjktFSj4E/s640/IMAG3119-1-1.jpg" height="290" width="400" /></a> </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I'll admit it - it <i>is</i> pretty nice.&nbsp; I tend to get woken up more frequently by my dogs these days than I do by my kids!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But this parenting thing - is it easier?&nbsp; Ummm... nope.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-keK0lwyYB9Y/UOx_zqSpCyI/AAAAAAAAEYU/eE7SBzlUo_8/s1600/parenting+S.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Those first few years slip by faster than you can believe.&nbsp; One moment, you are examining those almost-translucent eyelids while your sweetheart snoozes through his third nap of the day.&nbsp; The next, your dressing him up for his first day of school. Before you know it, it's time for team sports and dances and cell phones.&nbsp; And as your children get bigger, their problems get bigger.&nbsp; And their choices (and yours) have greater consequences.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4mv9Fam9BTc/UOx_ztoX4JI/AAAAAAAAEYs/yiaKa9nz36o/s1600/parenting+a+and+j.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">One moment they want to tell us every detail of their day, from what their teacher ate during snack time to what library book they might want, to what they WISH we could have for dessert. And you think you might just scream if you hear one more "and then THIS happened..!"&nbsp; But before you know it, you are forcibly pulling out even bare-bones details. And you worry that you don't have enough information to be a good parent. Because you never have enough information. You can't keep up on who is dating who, who is best friends with who, what so-and-so said, how bad was that math test, etc. You will never fully understand they level of drama that your child is going through.&nbsp; Or they assume you don't/can't, which amounts to the same thing.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5-UeqDsjp-U/UOx_0BqRJJI/AAAAAAAAEYc/yYcF_1zUxu4/s1600/parenting+g.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And there can be this constant, low level of worry. What if I screw up? What if I should have called him out on this? What if I should have trusted her more about that? What if I had asked <i>this </i>question or been there for this event? What if what if what if. What if I had done <u>more</u>. Why didn't I see <u>this</u> coming.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I just remember the sleepless nights, rubbing a baby's back and praying she might fall back to sleep. Frantically looking for the "binky" to calm her down.&nbsp; Scheduling around nap times and hauling a huge diaper bag everywhere and knowing that I just needed to hang in there. It would get easier, I would get to sleep again and it would be easier. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4mv9Fam9BTc/UOx_ztoX4JI/AAAAAAAAEYs/yiaKa9nz36o/s1600/parenting+a+and+j.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But it <i>doesn't</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">That's not to say that it gets worse, however.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am actually not a baby person. I love that my kids are all old enough to have dance parties and deep conversations (well, some deeper than others) and can get themselves dressed and most can even cut their own meat. :) But now that they are well on their way physically, I worry about their souls even more. I worry about a boy breaking my sweet girls' hearts. I worry about a catty "friend" with too many harsh words.&nbsp; I worry about bullies on the school bus and the stress of academics for my kids that struggle in school.&nbsp; I worry about their hearts. I want to protect them.&nbsp; I want to put them in a metaphorical car seat, buckle them in tight and <i>know </i>that they are safe.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I can't. Because growing up does mean letting go.&nbsp; Letting them have their hearts broken and their feelings hurt, their pride stamped on and their dreams dashed. That's living.&nbsp; That's growing. That's allowing them to become their own person.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DxnBugXq-pE/UOx_05x7GUI/AAAAAAAAEYo/3kdg3OHfAeU/s1600/parenting+read.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DxnBugXq-pE/UOx_05x7GUI/AAAAAAAAEYo/3kdg3OHfAeU/s1600/parenting+read.JPG" height="261" width="320" /></a><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2F-Bsuk4De_56k%2FUOyApIe4dRI%2FAAAAAAAAEZM%2FuxzjktFSj4E%2Fs640%2FIMAG3119-1-1.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And it's one of the hardest things I've ever done.&nbsp; And they just don't explain that part in the books. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>Cat Brainerdhttps://plus.google.com/102279253095823941440noreply@blogger.com0