Chien-Ming Wang: 2 IP, 4 ER, 5 H. Stephen Strasburg left the game due to heat stroke. I hope Chien-Ming Wang left the game due to normal stroke.

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So apparently it was really hot in Atlanta. I wouldn’t know, being in DC, where it was just slightly less really hot. Of course, I stayed within the friendly confines of very-much-conditioned air, oblivious to the maelstrom of flame that no doubt would have greeted me had I set a foot outside my door. As such, I have NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for Stephen Strasburg, who departed after three innings due to “heat exhaustion.” His untimely exit led to two innings of quintessentially latter-day Wangian baseball, by which I mean Chien-Ming Wang gave up a lot of runs.

Clearly we need to toughen Strasburg up. This is the second time this year that he’s left a game because part or all of him was too hot–first the groin, then the whole country (sounds like a strange call to revolution). How should we go about the toughening? To prepare him for the former problem, I’m sure there are some CIA people the Nats can call up to give Strasburg a quick lesson on the finer points of genital-based interrogation. As for the entire-body heat issue, perhaps forcing him to go to work for a few sweltering days in a full suit and tie, like everyone else in DC, would do the trick. If not, there’s always boiling oil. Let the Nats trainers know about these great ideas if you see them. Continue reading →

"What? No! My shirt's just baggy!" --Lucas Harrell, after the umpire called him fat.

Final Score: Nationals 3, Astros 2

Dame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann: 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 3 K. Zimmermann has found himself a new hobby this year: pitching seven innings and giving up one run. It’s a strangely specific hobby, but I’m not complaining. It’s definitely better than his previous hobby–collecting roadkill.

Shame of the Game:

Fernando Rodriguez: .1 IP, 2 ER, 1 H, 2 BB, Loss. Rodriguez joins Kerry Wood and Carlos Marmol in a club of pitchers who have blown leads to the Nats in the 8th inning mostly by walking people. In this triumvirate of poor and wild relievers, I’d say Rodriguez is the Lepidus…not a particularly great honor.

A lot of those statistics-loving baseball fans who sit around in their mom’s basement crying, pooping and killing flies claim that wins are a bad statistic and are not representative of a pitcher’s actual performance because pitchers have no control over the run support they get from their offense. These computerlubbers might point to Jordan Zimmermann as the perfect example of the uselessness of wins, and at first glance they’d be right. Zimmermann is winless this season despite pitching 21 innings and allowing only three runs. The trend continued tonight: Zimmerman pitched 7 great innings, but the Nats didn’t bother to take the lead until the 8th, after he’d already left the game. So is he just unlucky? I don’t think so. This isn’t a new thing–last year he had the lowest run support of any starter in baseball, ending up with an 8-11 record despite a 3.10 ERA. No, I think there’s a very good reason why the Nationals hitters never score runs for Jordan Zimmerman. It’s because they hate him. Continue reading →