Sunday, March 1, 2015

*House District #65: James Covington is running. Interesting.
*Brad Oberhausen actually drew Jarvis Dortch of Raymond as a primary opponent. I expected him to be unopposed until November.
*Jim Evans has an opponent: Sam Begley. This will be fun. Donate if for no other reason than to watch fireworks.
*Scratch that last comment. Kennie Wayne and Barbara Blackmon are going to go at it. Hell, we're going to sell tickets to this one. We are exhuming the JYD and bringing him back from the dead to referee this bout.
*David Blount actually has not one but two primary opponents for his Senate seat. So much for being a two-term incumbent.
*Bob Dearing qualified to run against Melanie Sojourner for her Senate seat. She beat him in the last election. She thus has one Democratic and two Republican opponents.
*PSC Race: Cecil Brown has an opponent: Bruce Burton, who seems to like losing. The black Shawn O'Hara.
*Three Dems are vying for the chance to run against Dick Hall for MDOT Central Commish. Word on the street is Greg Brand put Mary Coleman up to running.
*Charles Graham, yup, the impersonator's brother, qualified to run against Gilbert for SOS. He is going to be sending several SOS messages if he thinks he can win. The 2015 edition of the TheMouse that whined.

*House District #70: Pete Perry AND Sam Begley qualified to run against incumbent Jim Evans.
*John Reeves and Cory Wilson qualified for House District #73
*Tony Greer qualified to run for PSC Central District on the GOP side.
*John Moore has an opponent: Paul Buisson of Brandon. Get ready to get spammed. Buisson owns a robocall company. ;-)
*Bruce Bartley decided to take a swing at Joel Bomgar in House #58. This one might get a little interesting.
*House Pro-Tem Greg Snowden drew an opponent.
*McDaniel and Watson both decided to sit for re-election.
*Senator Nancy Collins drew not one but two primary opponents.
*Bill Marcy is back to claiming he is a Republican and is running against Senator Briggs Hopson in the GOP primary. Is there a medication for this condition?

*Three candidates for Circuit Clerk: Julia Hodges, Michael Pantin, and Anita Wray.
*The Sheriff actually drew an opponent: Democrat Renaldo Manning.
*Norman Cannady and John Evans vie to replace Gerald Barber.
*Attorney Sheila Jones is running against The Bagboy. ;-)
*Trey Baxter is running against John Howland
*Realtor Jill Ford is running against Supervisor Gerald Steen
*Republican David Bishop will face off against Supervisor Karl Banks
*Damn. A Republican qualified to run against Paul Griffin. Michael Jolly. Good luck in that district.
*District 2 for Justice Court Judge drew no less than nine candidates. The Drug Dealers' lawyer is probably the favorite.
*District 3 Justice Court Judge race drew a few as well. Bill Weisneberger qualified despite his troubles while 6 other Republicans qualified as well as one Democrat and two independents.
*Judges Marsha Weems Stacey and Bruce McKinley are unopposed.
*Brad Harbour is going to take on Matt Shackleford for constable.

*Election Commissioner Santore Bracey set his sights on Eddie Fair in the Tax Collector's race. This might be a little fun to watch.
*Sheriff's race: Tyrone Lewis takes on Victor Mason, and three other opponents. Get ready for some bad blood to flow.
*Meanwhile Stanley Alexander faces off against Robert Schuler Smith for District Attorney. This one will be trench warfare. No holds barred.
*Reverand Stallworth, clown that he is, qualified to run against Peggy. No word if he will wear his Elvis-style warm-ups while campaigning.
*Barbara Dunn will not run for re-election. Longtime assistant Zach Wallace will run against perennial candidate Vicki Mumford and Cedric Morgan.
*Supervisor Darrell McQuirter gets a rematch with Al Hunter and David Archie.
*10 guys, including slug Eric Stringfellow, are running for Kenneth Stokes's old seat in District 5.

*Larry Swales gets an election, not a coronation, as Supervisor Greg Wilcox throws his hat in the ring against the incumbent Chancery Clerk.
*Seven guys are running for the four constable positions but what is interesting is who is not on the ballot: Charles Lindsay.
*Roger Clapp has recovered from his ass-kicking in the Chancellor's race twenty years ago at the hands of now-deceased Thomas Zebert to run against incumbent Justice Court Judge Richard Redfern. Chris Zebert is running against Justice Court Judge (3) Josh McCrory as well. This will be one of the few races where NO candidates try to bring up family ties, history, or pedigree.
*Sheriff Bryan Bailey is unopposed.
*Supervisors: We got scrums in ever district except the one held by incumbent Jim Morrison.

So glad to see someone running against Robert Smith. Does RSS even want to be the DA? I am sure all the criminals in Hinds County are not happy than he has an opponent. Their get out of free pass is about to be over! Stan Alexander is a man of integrity and he will actually prosecute the cases he is assigned. Kingfish can you get the number of cases RSS and his office have actually tried since they have been in office? I bet the number is low, very low.

6:30Just like the tea party, the reform party was bastardized.This tends to happen with any 'break away' party.Illusion of choice what what? Yeah.So, if you want to run and have a chance, you have to pick up a 'mainstream party' and inherit all of its issues and merits. Of course, there are those of us who know how it works, who will win and why. Sometimes we even help in this bastardized process of 'true democracy'.Welcome to 'Merica!

Y'all are jumping the gun - assuming that some of your favorite candidates are not running (i.e. O'Hara, Benford, etc.) This list appears to not include all the 'minor' parties - Reform, Constitutional, Green, etc. - they are to file their list, along with the Dems and Repubs, with the SOS by Tuesday. It just happens that the two major parties kept their lists updated online, so they were available, and our Mississippi media assumes that is all there is. The others would take some work.

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything). Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up. In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!