Happy New Year from American Horror Story! With its first episode back from Christmas vacation, AHS has a present for us, in the form of the brand new jukebox Devil Eunice has brought to the common room to replace dearly departed "Dominique." This comes into play most spectacularly when, after Eunice and Dr. Arden have subjected our friend Judy Martin to a particularly severe bout of electroshock, Jude breaks into a Technicolor reverie and leads a fully choreographed performance of "The Name Game." Sorry, Glee, you had a good run.

In other, less amazing news, Dr. Arden is having a rough go of it. He's keeping pregnant Grace in his lab, sure, but Pepper makes sure he knows -- in the harshest terms possible -- that their alien overlords will not allow him to operate on her. Later, Arden comes across the unfortunate sight of his lady love Sister Eunice straddling atop Monsignor Howard.

About that... so the good Monsignor survived his crucifixion and as an added bonus, our Angel of Death did him a solid by informing him that Sister Eunice is possessed by the devil. But Howard's first attempt to get the jump on her backfires -- he's still very weak, after all -- and she ends up, essentially, raping him. Arden sees it and is so distraught that he heads out to the woods and shoots all the Creatures, ending his experiment with extreme prejudice. He then makes to off himself, but he can't follow through with it. Devil Eunice, as you can imagine, finds it all rather pathetic.

Monsignor Howard, for his part, is deeply ashamed for losing his virtue and for having not believed Sister Jude about the whole "Eunice is the Devil" business. Hey, great! So he can get the ball rolling on Jude's release, then… right? Uh, I guess we're putting a pin in that, as Jude manages to croak out instructions for Howard to kill the bitch. He tries, of course, but he's weak. Devil Eunice stares him down and then tempts him with advancement, with glory and with Rome. Monsignor Howard takes it all in ... and then shoves her over a third-story railing anyway. Good night, sweet demon. The man who slayed you was unfit to hold your wimple.

She's actually dead, too. The Angel of Death even assures us that she's taking both woman and demon out of this world for us. Dr. Arden is devastated at the news and he insists on cremating her body. Which he does... and himself along with it.

Just in case you were worried we'd be out of villains, however, Dr. Thredson is back working at Briarcliff. He manages to bribe Kit with his own son (by Grace, who gives birth) to tell him where his recorded confession is hiding. Only by the time he gets to the tub room, Lana has gotten the jump on him. She's a slippery one!

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Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously: Sister Jude went from the penthouse to the outhouse, Lana and Kit were keeping Ollie Thredson locked up until suddenly he wasn't and Dr. Arden decided killing Kit Walker for a minute or two would bring the aliens back, which it did... along with pregnant Grace and erudite Pepper.

Currently: Dr. Arden is back with the rapidly cooling body of Kit, trying to pound his heart back to normal function. Four blows to the chest and a dramatic pause later, and Kit is back. He asks Arden if the aliens even came and Arden says no. Which is a lie, but what would you expect? We're treated to a flashback of Arden following the alien breadcrumbs to find that Pepper and Grace and baby makes three.

The scene then cuts to later on, when Arden has already set Grace up in his lab. She's either sleeping or drugged, but either way it looks like Dr. Arden is going to be doing some exploratory surgery in the name of science. He's particularly impressed that the aliens seem to have repaired all the bullet wounds that killed her. And also gestated a baby inside her to full term within a couple of days. Both are pretty impressive. Before he can cut into her though, Pepper interrupts. New Erudite Pepper is a lot of fun and in possession of the clear confidence of someone who has been tasked by higher beings to guard another person, which Pepper has been for Grace. Arden sneers at her, saying that they may have taught her to speak correctly, but she's still an imbecile. So Pepper proceeds to read Arden as thoroughly as any drag queen ever has. She first informs him that any X-rays on Grace won't work, stupid, because the X-rays would harm the baby and the aliens don't allow harm to come to those they've protected. Pepper continues that while Arden fancies himself on the same level as the aliens with his clumsy experimenting, they all sit up in their flying saucer and laugh at him. Like, make actual jokes at his expense. "Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Arden." "Arden who?" "Arden you the quack who'd make a better duck?"

Pepper's really amused by this joke and outright laughs in Arden's face. He then decides to forego the X-rays and simply perform an emergency C-section, but Pepper's pretty certain that's not going to work either and she's proved correct when the scalpel flies out of his hand before he can begin. Arden sits down out of fear, which gives Pepper a chance to lecture him on the life of The Other. She says he still sees her as microcephalic, a "pinhead," as the parlance goes. She says that when her sister's husband killed his child and sliced its ears off, he blamed her, and the judge took one look at her freakish appearance and locked her up. That's how it goes. She says if any harm comes to Grace, the aliens will have no one to blame but him. "They'll take you, open up your head and stir your brain with a fork." Evocative! Then, she says, he'll get to learn firsthand how freaks get treated. Arden is speechless. "Go to your whore-nun," she encourages him. "Have her soothe your deflated ego." DAAAAANG, PEPPER! The library is CLOSED!