No, this is not a competition for the next Top Chef. This is about Bobby V vs. Ozzie G for MLB’s coveted Mana-Jeer of the Year Award. It’s the modern wrap vs. the traditional Cuban sandwich. And the question right now is which skipper will stuff his sandwich (or his foot) in his mouth more often this season: the self-proclaimed inventor of the wrap or Fidel’s former BFF? And with the blistering pace these guys have already set, it’s really not too early to consider this race a statistical dead-heat.

-In Feb., Bobby caused a ‘big bang’ in Yankee universe, or whatever its called, insulting mytique and aura twice: first, by praising Tek on his decorated career for essentially “beating up” A Rod (with his mask on–the horror!); and second, by offering an unsolicited critique of St. Jete’s fabled “flip play” in the ’01 ALDS (blasphemy!). Tongue in cheek or not, why even go there, Bobby? Save that stuff for your autobiography or for filling airtime during your future ESPN gig. (Oh, wait!)

Bobby V sizing up his vocal counterpart in Miami?Courtesy: NYPost.com

Early edge: Bobby.

-In March, Bobby V waved ‘bye bye’ to Ozzie after Castro’s biggest Miami booster was tossed from a ST game for arguing a foul call. (Really, Ozzie? Was that one of those feeling the affects of a day game coming off a road game thing?) Of course when Ozzie learned about the wave later, he told the media he would’ve “told [Bobby] to go and [expletive] himself” had he seen it. ‘Cause, you know, “[t]hat’s the way Ozzie Guillen is,” referring to himself in 3rd person.

Hey, Hey, Good-bye! Courtesy: LarryBrownSports.com

Edge: Ozzie + bonus points for referring to himself in 3rd person. Then Ozzie went on a roll:

With those 2 comments, Ozzie surged ahead for the coveted award. But his substantial lead would fizzle faster than Rick Perry’s support for the Republican nomination for President…

-Last Sunday, following the team’s 3rd straight win at home, Bobby V dropped this little nugget on the Knights of the Keyboard: “I don’t think [Youks is] as physically or emotionally into the game as he has been in the past for some reason.” Ozzie who?? Honestly, whether you really think that or not, Bobby, publicly calling out fan fave Yooouuuuks on it just 1 week into the season? Can you imagine if this guy was managing Manny?

Result: statistical dead-heat.

For those of you leaning towards Bobby V right now, when an ‘innocuous’ comment threatens to jeopardize the manager’s control of the clubhouse, you do have a point. For me, I still have to go with the Great and Powerful Oz with the slight edge. As much as us Sox fans take umbrage with anyone insulting our local heroes and institutions (yes, I’m looking at you, Luke Scott!), declaring so much as admiration for Castro’s beard follicles is not exactly the wisest way to endear oneself to Miami’s politically passionate Cuban-American population. (Fear the Beard, Ozzie!)

Fidel Castro. Courtesy: Antonio Milena - ABr

I give Ozzie the slight edge because the people he offended literally lost homes and loved ones and hold Castro directly responsible. They bear deep-seated wounds which understandably do not heal easily, if ever. So while Bobby, Youks and Pedey might not be singing kumbaya around a campfire together any time soon, I’d like to think the team will get over this and other inevitable Bobby V gaffes and focus on the big picture: winning. But, hey! It’s early, Bobby V haters!

Just when you think the race is over, Ozzie, Bobby V might just have a trick up his sleeve. Courtesy: AP Photo/ESPN

In all seriousness, the more I hear these guys talk, the more I ask myself WWTD (Tito)? For all of his alleged faults (you know, like successfully managing a team to 2 WS championships), Terry Francona sure handled the media like a pro. He kept most of the BS in-house where it belongs, publicly protected his players, and kept the focus, not on himself, but on the games. While we’ll never really know the whole story abut what went down last year, the Sox had a pretty damn good manager in Tito. Blowhards like Bobby V and Ozzie could learn a thing or 2 from him about media relations. Unfortunately, they may never learn…