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When is a sport not a sport?

We all know the joys of snowflake cunts pissing around atop plastic broomsticks on 5-a-side pitch pretending to play the imaginary game Quidditch from Harry Potter (football/hockey mixture with a child’s toy stuck between your legs), Pod Racing from Star Wars (basically a dodgem car drag race on a straight track – no bumping!) and Tron’s “Deadly Discs” (two cunts throwing Frisbees at one another, wearing full body padding, helmets and goggles – just in case they melt) but now – as covered by our very own Snowflake Central liberati spewing machine the ABBC – we have “Mermaiding”, and yes it is exactly what you would imagine!

Sad cunts wear a pull on mermaid’s tail and then swim by flapping their legs up and down. That’s it.

The objective: to swim like a mermaid. So who wins? The fastest cunt? The cunt who swims the furthest underwater? The cunt who swims the longest distance?

Well the objective of who wins (as with all snowflake endeavours) wasn’t so much to find the best (because “best” and “brightest” are baaaad words in modern society) but to be inclusive and will probably be based on the very subjective notion who most embraces/resembles the motion of a mermaid in full flow.

Hmmm, so what archive/library footage of mermaids will they be referring to when making these assessments? Splash? A Disney cartoon?

No doubt there will be points for artistic impression too – which would explain why their outfits were as garish as any Rio carnival costume rather than a perfunctory black or blue colour.

No surprises then that the cunts in flake central want to make it an Olympic sport (to go alongside pole dancing no doubt – yes also to be an Olympic “Sport”).

Well let me tell you now – snowflake cunts – there’s already an Olympic swimming discipline where you legs are together and you flap them up and down, it’s called the butterfly stroke and you use your arms as well and it’s all about who is the fastest, i.e., the BEST over a given distance because that’s all any (normal) fucker cares about in a real sport!

So instead of inventing/recreating imaginary sports why not just try and get better – or at least participate in –
real sports. Oh but that’s right, real sports have a definable objective and that’s baaaad because it identifies the best (and “best” is baaaad in an “inclusive” flake society isn’t it)!

Triggered? Then please feel free to paddle off to any fucking safe space of your choosing. The shallow end is 👉 way!

These events are great, an endless source of amusement and a reminder of who are the sheep and who are the wolves.
Check out hobbyhorse showjumping…https://youtu.be/qd5-qspfKtc
So fucking funny.
What CUNTS!

This sort of shit has been around in schools for years…..non-competitive sports where everyone gets a medal. I know of a school where snowflake kids spend their PE lessons walking on treadmills with their shitty music plugged into their ears. They also do things like, Pilates, dance and “movement”…..anything to avoid coming second.
No wonder almost every Olympic medallist we have comes from a Public School. Only the proles have to do this Snowflake shit. Only the Proles have to dress up like dead fish. Only the proles have to have lessons in “gender identity “. Load of fucking bollocks.

Parents have the opportunity to stop that crap. I won’t hesitate to get involved if I hear my kids school do anything like that. And if my kids express an interest in mermaiding or hobbyhorse showjumping I shall be making the hard choice for all concerned.

And the cunts stopped dwarf throwing, catching the javelin, heading the shot putt and the crack dealers 1 mile dash – we need a hunger games / purge night – to cull these snowflake millennial libturds. No wonder Barnier, Merkel and Macron think we are a bunch of foppish cunts easily walked over. Considering clipping our Royal Marines to a level where they couldn’t manage a pub in Blackpool. Boils my piss.

Rugby in the winter. Cricket in the summer. Anything else is just fit for poofs. The fun we used to have as kids deliberately passing the ball to the weedy kid while playing rugby and then crunching the weak Cunt into the mud…or deliberately bowling directly at the four-eyed geeky kid while playing cricket…Oh, happy days.
I suppose they’ve got to come up with new “sports” these days,most kids seem to be so soft and fat that anything more than an agitated waddle into McDonalds seems beyond their physical capabilities. Perhaps a new sport could be introduced where normal people are allowed to poke fat children with sticks and shout abuse at them until the porkers get rid of some of their beef. I’d happily participate in that.

For years the best of friends, Rosenbloom and Paskin (both very studious and not in the slightest bit sporty) suddenly went for each other after one accidentally hit the other in the mouth with his hockey stick.

Everything stopped and we all watched whilst they fought with each other. Eventually stopped by the hockey coach.

Not sure whether they ever reconciled following this bizarre incident.

I remember having to dive into the pool while wearing pyjamas to rescue a house-brick off the bottom of the deep-end. Never really understood the benefit of that…not really a lot of chance of a brick drowning while you happened to be having a kip at the municipal pool.

I wonder, if anything can be a sport and it’s the taking part that counts…
Then what about sex, and porn?
If people are impressed by a sub 10 second 100 metre dash, then I would say the market demand is in place.

If taking offence was a Olympic sport we would clean up. A 4×4 relay race with the first team to get to their safe space, no starting pistol of course this would be a micro aggression too far, maybe a tannoy with “Brexit means Brexit”, “There is no third gender” or The Donald yelling “Build the Wall!”. No winners podium or gold medals, maybe a nice ‘Everyone’s a winner’ trophy made from sustainable materials.

“Arrrr, and in the ‘Run, Hide, Tell!’ relay the British Team are quite clearly favourites – even after a wobble in the semi’s where Lucious Pinkerton-Cuthbertson nearly failed to dial 999 on his iPhone almost allowing the 4th seed New Zealanders a spot in the final.

Pinkerton-Cuthbertson has been dropped in favour of Kai Smith-Otembulu who’s sporting an Android.

Big changes at this late stage of the competition, and hasn’t gone unnoticed by the 2nd seed US team who they face in the final.

Respectfully suggest you try it before you knock it. Wish I had inherited a fortune, which unfortunately is a condition of entry, and had been able to pursue it. Great fun and (often) fit women abounding.

We’re all PE teachers from the 60s and 70s sadists? Certainly was at my school. One particularly nasty Welsh cunt, Mr Davies, was evil on the sports field but then looked after our welfare in the changing room by watching to make sure we all had a shower.

Mr Williams was a right nasty pick on the little ones cunt (liked to call himself ‘Bulldog’)…. He got his when an older boy known as Big Billy Wynn decked him and the bullying cunt was off for months… We then got Miss Kendall… The fittest teacher I ever had… I don’t know how she ran with those tits… All that Me Too bollocks? I’d have given my United season ticket (even then) and my Jam albums if she’d have jumped me and had her way…

Funnily enough our PE teachers were cunts and had a thing about kids in showers. I can remember one of the male PE teachers bringing his newborn child in to show around in an effort to gain sympathy votes as at the time the female headmistress was busy trying to convince girl’s parents not to make their complaints official.
Personally got out of the lesson myself by being a really really poor aim with a javelin and spreading quite a lot of fear.

It’s almost time! Who will take the men’s #SixNations crown?
It all starts on Saturday, live on the BBC. Excited?

The MEN’S Six Nations? What the fuck is that?!!! I dare say there is a butch as fuck Femstapo rugby tournament, but it is not and never will be proper rugby! These libfuck mongs go on about things being ‘non gender specific’ (Morgan Freeman, you fucking
Dixieland Zip-a-dee cunt!), then they call one of the most prestigious events in the sporting calendar the ‘men’s’ six nations?!! Get to frigging fuck, you PC appeasing Beeb scum….

Former Manchester United trainer Tom Curry, who died in the Munich disaster in 1968, is being honoured with a commemorative plaque on the home he lived in.
Alison and Charlie Bell found out the little-known United trainer lived at their house and talk to BBC North West Tonight about his life in football.

Well, Tom Curry has been honoured at Old Trafford for six decades: his name is on the Munich Memorial Plaque under the clock and also in the tunnel that the players come out of on matchday… Tom is still highly thought of in the Salford, Stretford and Newton Heath areas (my granddad knew him and Bert Whalley)… So ‘little known’? Yeah… But only to don’t do their research clueless numbcunts like the BBC… Fuck off!

And it was the BBC fucktards that put Tom died in the ‘1968’ Munich Air Crash…. That’s a direct copy of what the ignorant pricks wrote… They really are fucking cunts…. It was probably that thick cunt, Jacqui Oatley… Cunt…