If you missed the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game last night, it's probably because you have a life. Here's a quick recap:

Master P: Fat.Chris Tucker: Unfunny, fat.Deion Sanders: Still afraid of contact.Alyssa Milano: Stubbornly giving me boners.Stephen A. Smith: Yelling on his cell phone while the team he was coaching was trailing in the waning moments.Antawn Jamison: Very country, enjoys his skrimps and fatback.Ronald McDonald: Stabbed a jogger and stole the tracksuit.

Ultimately, Terrell Owens showed up and, being the only one with any discernible athletic ability, stole the show with 18 points and won MVP. Did you mention that you won as a team, T.O.?