FRONTPAGESTORIES

In which we take apart the news and put it back together all wrong.

Ineradicable Stain objects to rules, unless they are completely absurd. Then we obey them slavishly. Therefore, we adhere strictly to our plan, viz, to use only words that can be found on the front page of a given edition of a given paper (both sides). We ignore hyphens when it suits us and we freely alter capitals. Because we can.