The pros-and-cons of adultery

Everyone tries to find excuses for their choices in life, but there are some that do it with commendable creativity. Here is a collection of arguments “for and against” adultery. You won't find this in the Torah

Optimistic Sagittarius|Published: 03.08.06 , 11:29

Following my first (illegal) time, I stayed in bed and filled my pillow with tears.

I don’t cry often, but occasionally – like watching a movie with a kid hugging his father, or looking deep, but real deep, in my eyes.

I hate goodbyes, and I choke up in particular when super-dramatic events happen to me personally, when I feel the hand of fate was involved in them. But a man is a man, and no one other than me knows that men cry, and not only at night but also in the afternoon, even underneath their sunglasses while driving.

When I got up I wasn’t the same person

So after I wet the pillow, I fell asleep. When I got up I wasn’t the same person. I knew that I woke up to a different reality, one which you are either in it – or you’re not. In time, and because of the advantages involved, I chose to stay in that reality. And today, as an experienced veteran, I have put together some words wisdom, and insights into why you should go ahead and do it. Honestly? At least for me, these arguments are the winners, big time.

Why Not

• Because it is written in the Torah – thou shall not commit adultery

• Because she is the mother of your children

• Because vowed to be faithful

• Because you don’t want her to do the same thing to you

• Because while you are out dishing out your favors and having big-time-fun all over the place, she is wilting under the burden of the house and kids

• Because she's never done anything bad to you that would justify you having cheated on her

• Because you don’t want to read about yourself in the paper, under the “tales from the rabbinical courts” section

• Because if you can be so wonderful and pleasurable with your lover, why not be the same with the legit one as well?

• Because you have always considered cheating husbands as a home wreckers

• Because you don’t want to get divorced over this, and you especially do not want to lose the right to be a dad

• Because when you actually look at her when she is asleep, you really do love your wife

• Because you are attracted to her despite knowing everything about her and sharing an intensive intimacy

• Because there is something egoistic about the whole thing

• Because the amount of energy you put into such a relationship always comes second to spending time with the children

• Because you might contract sexual diseases, and transmit it to your wife

• Because you got married so you would stop trying to pick up other women, that’s why you voluntarily gave up your place in the singles meat market

• Because older flirty men have always disgusted you, and you might become one when you grow up

• Because when you look deep inside, nothing is missing at home

• Because if something is missing at home, you can always talk about it and try to improve things

• Because you don’t want anyone to know about this or talk behind your back

Why you should

• Because although you got married, you still want to feel like you exist and live life to the fullest

• Because it makes you feel younger by a decade, and you’ve been told you look great

• Because you discover that you can do things that you thought would never happen, like screwing twice in a row – in a night, not in a week

• Because your lover loves you, and not by inertia alone

• Because deep down, you think that marriage is an out-dated institution

• Because sometimes your legit one makes you so angry, that this is the best way to stay sane

• Because your lover does not engage in last minute negotiations over schedules and “entry permits”

• Because she agreed immediately to fulfill your every fantasy, without making a face and saying you are acting like a kid

• Because she wanted you to fulfill her fantasies, and you felt like you were born to do exactly that

• Because you haven’t felt this good after a screw or two

• Because suddenly, after you thought you were withering away, you feel like a macho-macho man

• Because coming in her mouth is an exact science and not science fiction

• Because you found someone who is waiting for you in bed, and not just so she can deal with unfinished business or fight, but simply to take pleasure in you

• Because you would only get sex that involves a bathtub, massage, wine, candles and chocolate on a vacation, and when was the last time you were on holiday?

• Because you got plenty of positive feedback on your performance, and then you were “required” to repeat it

• Because the forbidden fruit makes you go crazy every time

• Because in the process you discovered that up to now you didn’t really know as much about sex as you thought, and now you love learning more

• Because you discover that the Kama Sutra is not a science fiction book

• Because even animals in the wild don’t call it quits after just one partner

• Because you realized you were not alone in the world of B&B (Betrayed and Betraying)

• Because you read somewhere that the marriage institution is a religious conspiracy that was actually invented by the greatest sluts there ever were

• Because you don’t feel like starting the countdown on your life just now when you are financially set

• Because you feel like screwing

• Because by leaving a flower on the windshield for your lover you earn a warm response, while bringing flowers to your legit one is usually met with the cynical question: “what have you done this time?”

• Because you feel like spontaneous and worry-free sex

• Because you discover that the whole “illegal” aspect actually upgrades the “legal” aspect

• Because a fresh body and scent that rocks you, awaits your touch

• Because you love this addictive feeling

• Because you feel like shouting at the top of your lungs when you come, without having to worry about waking up the kids

• Because your lover will always suck much better than the legit one

• Because you realized that this is like refueling with a supplement for you and for her, and the essential and important thing actually awaits you at home

• Because when you see people who are hit with ill fate, you hope for their sake that they will get to have fun beforehand

• Because when you really think about - your conscience only gets in the way of doing the things you really love