parents

Sure, parents are annoying — what with the “pick up your room,” “what are you doing with your life,” and “no, you cannot turn the garage into something called the ‘Chill Zone.’”

But sometimes, they’re just really scary — like when they threaten to throw away your velvet painting of Hendrix wailing on his axe because you won’t just “move out already.”

Meet Zoë Baumann, for instance. According to her Twitter, her mother dressed up like her dog. While this might be just a way to get her to “clean the pot after making mac and cheese at 4am,” or, simply, this is a Halloween costume, Zoë, nevertheless, brought her personal punishment to Twitter, who had a field day with this.

All you white people who live in Brooklyn, now you know whom to thank.

This enraged guy was filmed straight up screaming and threatening the lives of a couple who pushed their stroller into him while he was out for a run. In the middle of his anti-yuppie rant, he loudly took credit for 'settling' Brooklyn for white people like them.

Wut.

In an interview with The Gothamist, the man who wants to remain anonymous at least has some shame about the episode.

The man who was recently caught on video berating a couple after their stroller hit his leg has not yet watched the video of himself shouting about how he "settled" Downtown Brooklyn for other white people. "I'm not gonna watch it, I understand it's probably ugly, and I'll feel embarrassed about it," the man told Gothamist. "I can't stand to watch that stuff."

He explained his side of the events that went down when the stroller hit his leg:

"The woman is talking over her shoulder to her husband, and doesn't notice," he said. "So I said a snarky thing, which the brothers say to me when I bump into them, which is 'excuse you.' We all know that's acceptable in New York. It's a little dicky, but that's what people say."

Instead of apologizing or acknowledging the faux pas, B.A. says the woman "starts screaming at me, 'F*ck you! Who do you think you are?' Then the guy starts screaming at me, 'F*ck you,' and starts coming at me with his fists like this. Now as soon as the guy comes at me with his fists, I'm telling you, if you come at somebody with your fists, be prepared that [the other person] is going to put their fists back up."

If there is any leeway you can give this guy, it's that the supposed run-in with the stroller did leave a mark.

Still definitely not an excuse to claim ownership of bringing white people to Brooklyn.