As a mention in my home shopping debacle post, I went to a wine tasting last week. And like all my wine tastings it was AWESOME! However, this wine tasting was a little more awsomer then the others. Like all truly awesomey things it came in 3 awesome parts.

Awesome Part #1: After taking a tour of the owners wine making room in the back of the cafe, Susan and I decided we were going to make our own wine, in her garage.

Susan: I can’t belive we haven’t thought of this before, it’s genius!

Me: I KNOW! I’m totally excited. We can make a whole barrel of wine!

Susan: Oh a barrel… how many grapes do we need to make a barrel of wine?

Owner Dude: About 800 pounds.

Me:… that’s a lot of grapes, we’re gonna need a bigger garage.

Owner Dude: Well that’s for a full size barrel, they have smaller barrels too.

Susan: Yay, smaller barrels!

Me: I can’t wait till we tap that mini barrel for our yummy creation.

Susan: *GASP* Mona, you just named our wine.

Me: I did… Yummy Creation? That seems a little boring for us.

Susan: No… Tap That!

Me: Oh Hell YA!!!

Owner Dude: That’s actually not a bad name.

Susan and Me: PATENT PENDING!!

Awesome Part #2: I was NOT the drunkest person there… HA!

Drunk Girl: HI! I’M SARAH

Susan: Hi Sarah, I’m …

Sarah: HA HA! MY NAME’S NOT SARAH!

Susan: Oh, sorry I thought you…

Drunk Girl: NO WAIT!… MY NAME IS SARAH… WOW… ISN’T THAT CRAZY!?!

Me: Ya, I can honestly say you just blew my mind. Oh, someone just called your name.

Sarah: REALLY!?! WHERE!?!?

Me: Outside and down the street about 4 blocks.

Sarah: WOW, OKAY BETTER GO THEN!! BYE!!!

Susan: You’re a bitch, but god I love you.

Me: Ditto.

Awesome Part #3: I bought Hubby the greatest gift of all time!
(sorry Rich this even beats out your Awesome Gift.)

Kim: Mona stop staring at me, I told you I don’t go that way.

Me: … Wow… um ok number one I was only joking about that! And number two I was looking at the picture behind you.

Kim: Why are you looking at that, ick what is that thing?

Me: Dude! That’s Grig from The Last Starfighter. Hubby loves that movie.

Hubby: No you didn’t, I have an app that alerts me whenever you use the debit card and you haven’t bought anything in the last hour except 2 bottles of wine. By the way stop buying wine, you’ve had enough.

Me: Seriously!? You track my card… I feel so violated! And trust me compared to some of the other people here my drinking is way below par. AND I didn’t use my debit card… I used my credit card.

Hubby: No, I cut all those up!

Me: You missed one, but you’re missing the point! I bought YOU something AWESOME!

Hubby: How much was it?

Me: Babe that diminishes the gift when you know how much it was.

Hubby: How much.

Me:… $50.

Hubby: Which means it was really $100,

Me: How did you…

Hubby: Babe, I’m so on to your ways.

Me: You know what? Screw you, I’m keeping Grig for myself!

Hubby: Grig? From The Last Starfighter?

Me: Yep, it’s a big awesome picture of him and all kinds of other cool starfighter stuff behind him, and it’s all mine… not yours.

Hubby: Too late you already said it was for me, no take backs.

Me: It’s not a take back if I never gave it to you, I… oh shit.

Sarah: HI! WHO’S THIS? I’M SARAH!?

After that I had a tug a war with Sarah for the phone, which I won, but Hubby was no long there, because he was on his way to the cafe to stake claim to his picture.

That was hilarious! Okay, I could really relate to the Sarah thing. Having been a bartender, many..MANY…times I’ve had to serve ‘Sarah’s’, peel her off of annoyed customers, take other people belongings away from her that she’s turned into entertainment props, cut off her booze supply, laugh off her insults, and eventually ‘help’ her out the door…sometimes not gently (drunk women are far worse then men). Now if you asked my husband he’d tell you I AM ‘Sarah’. Course I think he’s exaggerating, but then who I am to make that call since I can’t remember shit after the Jack has kicked in.
Your posts are always entertaining.