Pumping for Stay-at-Home Moms

By Sonya Fehér, leader for South Austin API (Texas, USA) and blogger at MamaTrue.com

If we’re staying at home to be with our babies full-time, we don’t have to pump milk or offer bottles. We can delay extended separations until our children are older, take our babies with us to run errands, go to appointments, or when we meet friends. And most of the time, we do. We spread out activities, so we can avoid taking Baby in and out of the car for multiple stops. We keep the volume low on the car stereo. We prioritize what we need to get at the grocery and find ways to entertain or distract Baby, so that we can get everything on the list. And we likely plan it all around when Baby may take a nap. That’s what stay-at-home moms do.

What differs for attached moms is that we are likely also sleeping with or near our babies during the night, wearing them during the day, and nursing them every hour or so. Being an Attachment Parenting (AP) stay-at-home mom is an intense 24-hours-a-day/365-days-a-year job.

Why Stay-at-Home Breastfeeding Mothers Pump

While all of the mothers that I interviewed agreed that breastmilk from the breast is best, AP stay-at-home moms have many reasons to pump:

Medical emergencies — Kristine Kovach, a board-certified lactation consultant with 15 years experience, instructs moms to introduce a bottle by six weeks in case of an emergency. Kovach says you’re living in denial if you don’t accept the possibility that on a grocery run, Mom could get into a car accident: “It is medically dangerous to see a baby who can’t get its needs met, because it doesn’t know how to eat from any other source but its mother.” When Sarah Kerver was in the Emergency Room with a kidney stone, she was grateful that she had milk in the freezer: “Not only for the time I was laying curled up in pain, but for after when I had morphine pumping through my veins. Or when I got the stomach flu and was barfing every few minutes. You are lucky if you never need it, but if you do, I would rather not have to go buy formula.”

Giving mom a break — Beyond emergencies, pumping can give Mom a break, whether it is to sleep in, exercise, have time for herself, or the ability to go on a date and give time to her marriage. Joy Schindler explains, “Since Daphne doesn’t really eat on a schedule and often likes to nurse every hour during the day, I really wouldn’t be able to leave her with my husband at all if I didn’t have a stash in the freezer.”

Encouraging secondary attachment — Regular bottle nursing by another caregiver can help establish a secondary attachment figure and would allow someone besides Mom to satisfy a child’s primary needs for food, sleep, and comfort. When there’s a second, third, or subsequent baby in the picture, it may not be realistic for Mom to sit still for extended nursing sessions, making it even more important for mom to share feeding tasks.

Physical considerations — Pumping can unclog milk ducts and help relieve the pain of mastitis. If lack of supply is an issue, pumping will increase demand for the milk. When Baby has a breast preference, nursing from one side and pumping from the other will keep up supply until the baby will nurse from either. For oversupply, pumping can reduce engorgement.

Pumping for older babies and toddlers — When introducing solids, breastmilk can be mixed with cereals, mashed vegetables, or fruit and can even be used when making smoothies. Being able to offer expressed milk in a bottle or sippy cup means that a crawling or toddling child too busy to nurse can still get the best nourishment possible. Once a child is a year old, breastmilk in a sippy cup is a great alternative to cow or goat milk.

Opportunity to help others — Even if you pump and never find the need to use the milk yourself, you can donate it. “When a dear friend donated her spare frozen breastmilk to me to supplement Roman, she gave me about 200 ounces. It was a blessing to be able to give him breastmilk instead of formula,” says Heather Salaz.

This Circumstance Calls for Unique Pumping Advice

Because stay-at-home AP moms are likely not pumping for frequent and prolonged separations from baby, how frequently we need to pump and how much milk we need to express differs from most pumping advice. Kovach, also known as the Mobile Mama, recommends the following strategies for pumping and bottle-nursing:

When to pump — First thing in the morning, pump an ounce from each side. Hormones rise during sleep and supply is highest first thing in the day, even if Baby nurses all night. Nurse from one side while pumping on the other or nurse then pump.

Age to introduce bottle — So that Baby gets four weeks to learn how to drink from the breast, wait to offer the bottle until his one month birthday.

Teaching Baby to drink from a bottle — Mom should leave the room, take a cell phone, and walk around the block. This is a new skill for both the caregiver and Baby to learn, so they need the time and space to do it. If Baby refuses bottle or starts to get upset, the caregiver can call Mom to come back and nurse for five minutes, then they can try again.

Time to bottle-nurse — At the end of a typical workday, around 5 or 6 p.m., Baby usually wants to be on the breast constantly from late afternoon until bedtime. This is a great time to offer the bottle, as Mom is likely exhausted and needs a break.

Frequency of bottle feeds — Offer a two-ounce bottle every other day, so baby remembers how when you may need to bottle-nurse to replace a full feeding.

Building back-up supply — If you’re pumping every day but offering the bottle less than daily, you will generate a reserve you can use for longer separations or in an emergency.

Mothers usually have several concerns regarding pumping, such as:

Nipple confusion — Nipple confusion is usually flow confusion. Drinking out of a bottle is immediate gratification, and if a bottle is offered in the first few days of a child’s life, the baby may only want food without work. (Premature babies are an exception.) If Baby has nursed for a month and learned to suck until letdown, bottle-nursing should not cause flow confusion. If mom is still experiencing nipple pain, Baby is breaking the latch, or breastfeeding is not well established, wait to introduce a bottle.

Bottle refusal — This may occur because the baby doesn’t yet know how to drink from a bottle, needs a different type of bottle or nipple, or needs a different environment (like a bright public place where she’ll be distracted and take the bottle without noticing), or drinking source (like a sippy cup).

Physical discomfort and pain with pumping — Comfort and fit of a pump can be affected by the type of suction and the size of the flange, both of which can be altered.

Too long of a break between bottles — Once you’ve introduced the bottle, success is more likely if a bottle is given on a regular basis so Baby remembers how to bottle-nurse. If Baby keeps refusing bottles, try a sippy cup instead.

Concern about lack of supply — Even for mothers breastfeeding every hour, pumping will not take milk away from the baby. Set up one daily pumping session with the goal of producing an ounce from each breast, and your body will increase supply to meet demand.

Bad-smelling or bad-tasting breastmilk — This can be caused by high lipase levels, which make the milk taste like plastic or metal. Scald the milk immediately after pumping.

Not producing for pump — Some women just don’t produce for a pump, and no matter what they do, letdown won’t happen unless there’s a baby sucking from their breast.

Mother’s mixed feelings — AP mom Tara Seth admits, “It makes me sad and a little, dare I say it, jealous.” Mothers of newborns are still gaining confidence and a bottle can feel like a mother-substitute. A bottle can’t replace a mom, as there is so much more to breastfeeding than just milk.

Giving a child the means to get breastmilk without the breast means we can have time to take care of ourselves, so that we’ll continue to have the energy to take care of our families. Rather than risking burnout, stressed marriages, breastfeeding with resentment, and the other problems that come when a family gets out of balance, stay-at-home AP moms have the option to give themselves a break. Pumping can be that option.

8 thoughts on “Pumping for Stay-at-Home Moms”

This is such a wonderful, important, informative article. Even though I’m nursing a 14 month-old, I still found a wealth of information here. Thank you to Sonya for writing it, and thanks to all who contributed.

The part about storing milk in case of an emergency really hits home. A local mom was killed in a car crash along with her 2 year old, but her husband and 4-month old survived. I don’t know if she had a stash saved, but thankfully many, many nursing moms have stepped forward to pump and donate to her baby boy.

Stephanie, I’m so glad you enjoyed the article. I wrote it because I had such a hard time with pumping and gave up, which caused so many difficulties for my family. I figured that once my son was eating solid food (at six months or so), my husband would be able to feed him and it would mean I could get more of a break to go to the eye doctor, have a long nap, or go to the gym or take care of myself in other ways. The problem was that my son only wanted to be fed by me, whether it was breast-milk or solids. The effects of stopping pumping are still felt in our household and my son is almost three. I just wish there had been someone around to tell me why and how pumping could work for me as a SAH AP mom.

Thank you for writing this article. With my first son, I had to pump for lots of reasons such as my son’s prematurity, baby blues from staying at home, my returning to work, to increase milk supply, etc. I always felt bad because there has always been an emphasis on exclusively breastfeeding. Pumping really helped me out during those times. But once I was able to quit my job and stay at home, it took me months to get the supply and demand in balance with my son and first I had too much milk that I gave some to the local milk bank then I had too little by decreasing pumping too quickly. Even though it is useful, pumping is hard work and really throws a wrench into the natural breastfeeding relationship. With my newborn who had no breastfeeding issues, I still pump once in a while to get a break or to take my toddler son on playdates but learning what I did with my first one, I am able to use the pump more wisely and to avoid all the problems I had the first time around.

Thank you so much for these tips! I’m a SAHM and EBF. I pumped a little at the beginning, before we moved, but haven’t realy pumped much after we moved because I have a lot stored up in our tiny freezer anyway. However, my little girl has recently been sleeping for 12 hours at night and I get engorged in the mornings. I was curious if you had any advice about how long to go without pumping or nursing if you’re baby-led nursing (like if I’m gone for the day for some reason). Thanks! Right now she sleeps from 8 or 8:30pm to 7:30-8:30am and her schedule is typically this:
nurse
play for an hour-1.5 hrs
nap for an hour-1.5 hrs
nurse
etc. (repeat)
I guess I should also mention that I nurse her to sleep. Oh! My husband is in school, does he have to give her a bottle or could I? I didn’t see where that is mentioned, but it looked like someone else should give the baby a bottle, not mom.
Thanks, again, for your help!

Thanks for your question. We encourage you to post this question on the API Forum – Feed with Love and Respect section (http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/). The forums are moderated by experienced API Leaders who can provide more guidance relevant to your specific situation. This also gives you an opportunity to connect with other parents who may have insights and suggestions. Instructions for obtaining a login and password to the forums can be found on the page referenced.

This is a great article! I’m trying to figure out pumping now & I’m a SAHM. The only question I have is how can you ‘get a break’ by letting someone bottle feed your little one if you still have to pump at that same time and bring out all the parts?

Suzanne – We’re glad you found the article helpful. Thanks for posting your question. You may wish to post this question on the API Forum, where you will be in touch with experienced API Leaders and other parents who have been in the same situation. Here is the link: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/home. In order to post a question, you will need a login and password, which you can get by clicking the link in the top right corner of the Forum home page.

Connecting with our children for a more compassionate world.

Attention API Members

Attachment Parenting International is grateful to those who contribute to its publications, including TheAttachedFamily.com. It is to be noted that API entertains a variety of perspectives and embraces opportunities to challenge and strengthen its API family. Please find what works for you, support and encourage, and leave the rest behind. For more on API’s perspective on parenting, visit the API website by clicking on the link in the Additional API Resources below.