Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Some theorize that the universe never puts more on your plate then you can handle. If that is the case then I wonder where it got so much confidence in me. My apologies for the lag since my last update. Dealing with moving, unpacking and the annual parental visit ate up the early part of this month quite nicely. Today's post is a total a grab bag of links that I've been saving up over the past few weeks.

The search for Scotty! A beloved crew mate dies and they blast his remains into space then the pod crash lands on a remote mountainside of a primitive planet...Why does this plot seem so familiar? Life imitating Star trek has been a popular theme lately. Researchers are hard at work developing magnetic shields to protect intrepid explorers from the ravages of radiation while they are away from earth.

Psychics are under siege in Philly! City Inspectors have shut down dozens of fortune tellers citing an obscure decades old law against prognosticating for profit. Despite their extra sensory powers and the law being on the books for years, the psychics say they never saw it coming.

Speaking of questionable judgements, a group of teachers in Tennessee staged a mock assault on a bunch of 6th graders. During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose and had them hide under tables while a mock maniac rattled at the door. Now I'm all for a bit of primal scaring every now and then, but maybe stick to fire drills guys.

The Summer Meter is a nifty site...if you have ADD or something. Sure, an online countdown to summer is a fun thing but after watching it run for a few seconds I start to panic watching the numbers fly by.

Updating a story I commented on a few posts back. That bleating bride from Sudan, Rose the goat, has passed away. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Rose was forced into a marriage with a man who was caught using her in a... manly fashion. Alas, she went the way most media darlings have of late, choking on a plastic bag. She is survived by 1 kid, hopefully from a previous marriage.

Despite PETA's concerns about how animal brides are treated in some countries, the Ms Camel Pageant in Saudi Arabia went on as planned with dozens of desert beauties struttingtheir humps and lady lumps vieing for cash prizes, cars and an exclusive mating contract,(with another camel of course, this isn't Sudan after all)

Need a good reason to protect biodiversity? Brazilian Sex Spiders. After noticing that one of the side effects of a bite from the spider just happens to be ragging preapism that lasts for hours, scientists have isolated the toxin responsible and hope to use it to boost current fertility treatments. Go Spiders!

Sure, we've all had those stick-it-on-the-fridge-and-call-it-cute moments, but have you ever wondered what Kids are really trying to draw? This site has some kids drawings touched up by a professional artist and those doodles don't seem nearly as cute now...

Talk about jumping on the bandwagon. Now not only can you get your daily dose of carbonated water, Aspartame, Phosphoric Acid, Potassium Benzoate and Caffeine from a Diet Pepsi, the nice folks over at Pepsico are throwing in 10 to 15 percent of the daily requirement of niacin, zinc, magnesium and vitamins B6 and B12 to help you get through the day. Cola as a source of essential nutrients, what is the world coming to? Next they'll be selling us cigarettes with Vitamin D and Echinacia.

Staying with the theme of things that cause cancer, another great hobby of mine has just been ruined. Researchers have found that Oral Sex (of all things), may raise your risk of cancer. Of course, that threat has never stopped my penchant for sucking on cigarettes, it just seems that everything I put in my mouth is bad for me these days.

Now I've been known to water the garden every now and then, but these urinals are taking that metaphor to new extremes.

Canadian spy coins, what a sensational concept! We never hear much about what the folks over in CSIS get up to so I was very excited over reports that US defence contractors were picking up bugs when they came north of the border. Clandestine nanoscaletransmitters, it shows my tax dollars at work. The truth is much more laughable, the so called spy coins turned out to be the commemorative poppy quarter.

German soccer players Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn received a nice payout in an bit of an interesting branding battle. The stars sued the firm BeateUhse because it sold special World Cup vibrators called "Michael B" and "Olli K" last year without their permission. While the stars were awarded a modest amount, considering the popularity of footballers these days I would have sued for a cut of the sales.