dreaming of my lost child??

I just need to know if this is normal or if anyone else has experienced this. For the past 4 years I have had visions and dreams of a little girl who would be around the same age as the baby I miscarried in Dec '05. She is very tentative and looks at me straight in the eys. I believe that she is a vision of my lost baby. Some tell me that this cannot be true because my baby had not even developed beyond 7 weeks before we lost it, and therefore I could not have known the sex or features, but why else would this child come to me. I have recently claimed her, and I have a need to name her. She looks like she could be our child, features and mannerism. Ok, sorry , I know this is strange, but it is wha it is.
I know that there are some who beleive that miscarriage does not count, but for those who have been through it, I am sure you know the feeling and connection, I believe that although I never got to meet and hold my child, my child still was created and still existed even if only for a few weeks.
I am just distraught and do not know what to think, perhaps it is because I never trully grieved my loss.

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Brittanywhere07 (11-28-2010)

As far as your question...is this normal- As a person who has experienced vivid and lucid dreams on a regular basis, I feel that dreaming is a wonderful tool the brain uses to process events, feelings and even fears. In your case, with such a trauma in your background dreaming may be another way of processing the lingering feelings, the loss, and the loss of a future child. The fact that in your dreams your baby has "grown" into a child that you can communicate with, and watch is a powerful and loving image that I hope you can find joy in, rather than a cause for alarm or concern.

"Normal" is a word that hardly matters, as the range of normal is huge if not immeasurable. In my past dreams I have actually solved real life situations that I was able to take with me into my life and feel a real sense of completion. As a mother, I can certainly understand the loss of a child being a lifelong loss and if your child is coming to you in your dreams, I would encourage you to accept the dreams as a way to keep your child's memory alive.

I wish you the best...

Last edited by writeleft; 11-23-2010 at 02:25 PM.

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somedaysn (11-24-2010)

I believe dreams are used by our brains as a way of working through issues, or sometimes to tell you there is a problem (such as someone dreaming they have a health issue before they show symptoms). Our bodies and minds are amazing things.

I definitely think your brain is telling you that there are underlying issues here. Maybe it is that you need to grieve. You might seek out a grief counselor that could help you to figure out whether naming the child would be healing or damaging, and what other rituals you might do to help you come to closure.

As to whether this might be the spirit of your child, that I can't answer. I do believe such things might be possible. Only you can know that for sure.

I wish you the very best and I'm sorry for your loss.

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somedaysn (11-24-2010)

it was actually a grief counselor who told me that my loss was no big deal, I was at a loss of words you know, so I have dealt with it through talking with family. It has been quite some time but, this has all been on my mind lately. but i may reconsider talking to someone else

Hugs to you. I would like to think it is your lost child looking down upon you from heaven. I too lost a baby in 2006 at barely 7 weeks and I am still devestated beyond words. In my heart I always felt it was a little boy.

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somedaysn (01-21-2011)