Tomorrow I will be interviewed by Vanity Fair Magazine for a Discovery Channel documentary program, along with Barry Winchell’s parents, as a followup to their now almost 15 year old article on the murder. That night I will be filmed for inclusion in a Library of Congress project on my own military service, as part of a project featuring several veterans.

I refused to participate in the new story about Barry several times, but was finally persuaded after learning of his parent’s participation. I think some people assume that my entire life is about the events behind the movie “Soldier’s Girl” and that I talk about it all the time… I actually don’t. People bring it up to *me* all the time, which I understand because they feel a great deal of empathy and emotion after seeing the story. Some people also assume that I have made tons of money from the film or the story. I have my letters in writing refusing payment for the film, though eventually I was persuaded to accept some compensation which allowed me to transition more fully into the woman he saw me as. I have been a reluctant participant in the story at every step, but when I do participate it is because I have a chance to either honor Barry’s memory or help move things forward for the community. The day I was brought to the network to talk about the interview, I had to go straight home to bed and sleep until the next day. I hope it will be worth it to rehash everything again.

On the other hand, I am looking forward to the Library of Congress project. It feels good to talk about my brief four years serving in the pre- and post-DADT military during the first Gulf War. Adventure and youth and self discovery and dealing with draconian oppression all make for interesting storytelling. This is going to be a rollercoaster of a weekend. Thank goodness I have my boyfriend, my friends, and a job singing and making people laugh to occupy my mind this weekend.

This isn’t a beg for sympathy. I just wanted to share this as a little preparation because I may actually be talking about these things a little bit in the coming weeks, which I do not do very often.