You will need to sign on with your LLLID (La Leche League ID) before you can post. If you have never claimed your LLLID, create your LLLID now. To sign in, click the LLLID Sign On button in the upper right corner. Enter your LLLID Alias and click the button again.

sleep associating with breastfeeding

My 7 month old son has been nursed to sleep from day one. When I went back to work, my husband was able to get our son to sleep by feeding him from the bottle, near the end he dozes off.
But with me, no matter how cranky he is, or over tired, he must be attached to sleep, but then... forget about putting him down in a swing or his crib, it just isn't happening.
I love my son to death, but there are things that I really should take care of so all of the home making and cleaning doesn't fall on my husband's shoulders.
Any advice to getting my baby to sleep without me having to hold him the entire nap?
Baby hacks needed.

Re: sleep associating with breastfeeding

I don't have a lot of suggestions, but just wanted to say that my LO went through this too when he was around this age. Actually, he would only nap well with me until he was about 10 months old (though would nap for his dad when I was at work without the same problem). I would put him down and try to leave sometimes and he would always wake up. And, then, one day...he didn't. And, now, he almost always sleeps fine on his own (he is 13 mo now). So, maybe it will pass? In the meantime, here are a few things that helped me: if you have things to do that you can do on the computer, take your laptop back to the bed with you--my LO would sleep with the glow of the laptop and me typing away, as long as he was on me! Also, LO can do chores with you....if you need to do dishes, fold laundry, cook, etc. you CAN do this while he is awake (may take the pressure of the must-get-away-during-naps feeling). With my LO, I would set him up with some special kitchen toys near me while I did dishes or cooked. I would take laundry into the room we were playing in and fold it with him. You can vacuum while wearing him (or around him, if he isn't scared of it). I really had a hard time with adjusting to the idea that I could do work with LO present, but once I got on board with that, it has totally lessened my stress--and he seems to like it. I talk to him about what I'm doing and try to include him (and--this is the truth--he "helps" me now--puts balled up socks in the laundry basket, puts small item in drawers, etc. and LOVES laundry, laundry baskets, the washing machine, etc.

Also, one last idea. Could you put a mattress on the floor and lay down with him on that and then try to roll away when he is asleep? May be less jarring than putting him down in a crib...

Re: sleep associating with breastfeeding

An alternative to moving her to her own bed might be to tweak your night nursing set-up a bit so you don't wake yourself up so much.

If you move her to her own bed, she might still wake up as often but now she'd be waking up more fully, crying, and you'd have to actually get out of your bed to go over to her, which I would think might make you more exhausted.

Can you explain a bit more why are you exhausted?

My daughter is 14 mo and also wakes me 4-10 times per night to nurse, and nurses every hour or more all day, but I don't feel tired. I did feel FRUSTRATED when we were sleeping in a tent on a hard surface and I had trouble going back to sleep, and my husband's loud snores kept me awake - (grrrr!). But in bed I just let her latch on and fall back to sleep myself. To keep yourself from waking up too much, in case you haven't tried these things, I find it really helps to nurse side-lying with a pillow against my back. I wear a long-sleeved shirt to bed so my arms don't get too cold when out of the covers. I sleep just with baby on a double bed mattress; my husband sleeps in another room so our nursing doesn't wake him and his snoring doesn't prevent me from going back to sleep.

Also, can you sleep long hours with baby? nap with baby during the day?

I agree if it's housework you need to do, nearly all of it can be done with baby awake, but you have to change your mindset from trying to efficiently accomplish tasks to trying to enjoy time with baby and get a couple things done meanwhile. so yes, baby will un-sweep the dirt you are sweeping, and unfold the clothes you are folding, and everything takes twice as long, but you are enjoying this time with baby and baby is enjoying helping you.

I also have trouble putting my baby down directly if she falls asleep nursing in my arms. So what I do is I shift to a side-lying nursing position and let her keep sucking while we are lying on the bed. Then after a few minutes I can take the nipple out of her mouth and she will stay asleep. I've never been able to get her into a crib.

As for nursing putting a drain on your body, I'm pretty sure our bodies were meant to be able to do this, so just make sure you drink plenty of water and eat lots of healthy food!

Finally, if she is nursing more than usual at night, it may be teething. I know mine nurses more often for comfort at night when she is teething.

Re: sleep associating with breastfeeding

What? I'm not exhausted...
I mean I am after a long day at work, but I'm in the army, so my work day is12 hours long.
we do side lying... he sleeps in my bed. I think a lot of your post was directed toward someone else.
mine was just trying to put him down to nap instead of holding him for 1.5 hours. But I guess I just have to or try nursing side lying for naps and rolling away.

Re: sleep associating with breastfeeding

Absolutely do stuff while he's awake, but also... I find if I really want to get stuff done with a sleeping baby that wants to be held that my best bet is wearing the baby. Invest in a comfortable baby carrier that you can wear around easily (I owe my sanity to the Ergo company) and pop him in and out of easily, too.

I still wear my two year-old when doing around the house stuff if she is having a cranky day. Because sometimes she just needs to be close to me - but I still need to get things done, too!

Re: sleep associating with breastfeeding

Originally Posted by @llli*paytek

Oh, I have a mobi. It just makes me feel guilty that all my attention isn't on lo.

I think it is normal to feel guilty, but there isn't any reason to. LO will learn lots and get lots of stimulation while "helping" you do chores. Don't know how you feel about Dr. Sears, but I found this tidbit to be very reassuring for me when I was worried about not giving my undivided attention to LO (it's about babywearing but really the point is that involving baby in your activities is good for her brain). "A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. A baby's brain grows and develops according to environmental experiences that stimulate nerves to branch out and connect with other nerves. Babywearing also helps the infant's developing brain make the right connections. Because a baby is intimately involved in the world of the caregiver and participates in what the caregiver is doing, she has practice attending to what her caregiver does and says. Her developing brain stores these experiences as thousands of tiny short-run movies that are filed in the infant's neurological library, to be rerun over and over." Personally, I think you are doing your baby a lot of good by exposing her to all the various things that you do, as well as having more focused play time.