Monday, April 30, 2007

Caller ID.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope the world is treating you all well, andthat life is good. It is OK here, no complaints after the good lotof rain and Australia winning the World Cup in Cricket.

It has been cool and cloudy here today, so I didn't venture outof doors for long. Shopping day, tomorrow and I seem to havethe longest list this fortnight. I plan to buy a hock and makesome Pea and Ham soup. You can guess by that, that it is notas hot as it was a few weeks ago. And the autumn leaves arebeginning to fall. The rain was wonderful, at long last.

I read a tip for treating rose bushes that have Aphids, drapebanana skins over the branches. In a day or so, they shouldbe gone. Wouldn't you know it, at present, not a sign of anAphid to try it out. Thought I would pass it on, anyway.

The story tonight is another sent by my grand-daughter,Sam and is nice. She also sent the first joke !! Thanks Sam.

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor wasworking late, and decided to call his wife before he leftfor home. It was about 10 pm, but his wife didn't answer.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thoughtit was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap upa few things and try again in a few minutes. When hetried again, she answered right away and he asked herwhy she hadn't answered before. She said that it hadn'trung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke, andwent on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at churchoffice, which was the phone that he'd usedon Saturdaynight. The man that he spoke with wanted to know whyhe'd called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talkingabout. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn'tanswer." The pastor remembered the mishap and heapologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'dintendedto call his wife.

The man said, "That's OK. Let me tell you my story.

You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturdaynight, but before I did, I prayed, 'God, if you're there,and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.'At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at theCaller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God.' I was afraid toanswer !!"

The reason why it showed on the man's Caller ID thatthe call came from "Almighty God" is because the churchthat the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle !!

If you believe that God answers prayers then pass this on.

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends witha tear.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossibleto forget.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, youcan look beside you and your Best Friend will be there.

Nobody is perfect, until you fall in love with them.<><><>

And the joke -- Don't you just love computers ?

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and atthe appropriate point in the process, the computer advised himhe would now need to enter a password. Something he wouldneed to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured hewould try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.

So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, hemade it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering bystating each letter out loud as he typed :

Three little ducks go into a bar - - - -"Hey, what's your name?" says the bartender to the firstduck. "Huey," was the reply."How's your day been, Huey ?""Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddlesall day. What else could a duck want ?"

"Oh, that's nice." He turned to the 2nd duck and asked his name."Dewey," came the answer from duck numer two."So , how's your day been Dewey?" he asked."Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddlesall day myself. What more could a duck want ?"

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So I guess youmust be Louie ?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes -- - "My name is Puddles.<><><>One more from John - - -

No Sex Since 1955.

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a galaevent hosted by a local arts college. There was no shortageof extremely young, Idealistic ladies in attendance, one ofwhom approached the Sgt. Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sgt. Major, but you seem very serious. Is theresomething bothering you?""Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,"It looks like you have seen a lot of action.""Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,"You know, you should lighten up a little and relax and enjoy."The Sgt. Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't takethis the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"" 1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit takingeveryting so seriously ! I mean, no sex since 1955 ! She tookhis hand and led hm to a private room where she proceeded to"relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chestand said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sgt. Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-factvoice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."<><><>

All truth passes through three stages. First it is ridiculed.Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted asbeing self-evident.

Children have more need of models than of critics.

Count your age with friends, not with years.

Living in the past has a good point -- it's cheaper.

No time is never wasted that makes two people betterfriends.

The best place to be when you're sad is in Grandma's lap.

When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brushyour hair.

Getters don't get -- givers get.

If at the end of the day you feel dog-tired, maybe it'sbecause you growled all day.<><><>

Bye for now -- I hope you all have a good week, andenjoy your lives. Cheers, Merle.

"If at the end of the day you feel dog-tired, maybe it'sbecause you growled all day." ... I like that one ... too true, I think!!Hope all is well, Merle, and we get some more much needed rain.Take care, Meow