President Trump Introduces Women’s Day Beauty Pageant

WASHINGTON DC – President Trump recognized International Women’s Day by announcing a special event: a pageant dedicated to his “tremendous respect” for women.

“As everybody knows, nobody has more respect for women than I do,” Trump tweeted. “And I’m going to show it by showing off some of the best beauties we have and by self-funding this pageant.”
The president called upon all beautiful women to show up at Trump Hotel in Washington to be part of the first ever Women’s Day Pageant. Chris Christie was put in charge of organizing the event. The judging will all be done by Trump himself, who commented “Nobody objectifies women better than me.”

The contest will consist of a patriotic themed eveningwear presentation, followed by a swimsuit competition. “I’ll be walking in backstage to greet contestants as they’re getting ready,” Trump said. “I always do that.” The winner will be crowned with a “Make America Great Again” tiara, and appointed to an unnamed position in Trump’s cabinet. “The position will be mostly for show,” Trump clarified.

When asked for comment, White House press secretary Sean Spicer said, “I am completely unaware of the Women’s Day Pageant, but even still we should be commending Trump for his initiatives to honor women in such a beautiful way.”