Life and Fibromyalgia

Thursday, April 28, 2016

I am using my phone to type this blog post. My computer has died. Completely. I can't afford a new one right now but once I can, I will be. I have missed blogging. So what has happened since my last post. Hmmm. Well, I got super sick at the beginning of April and actually had to cancel lessons for six days. I am still not 100% over the sinus infection but I am somewhat better. Three of my students went to competition in February and came home with many first and second place trophies along with one third place trophy. I was very pleased with the outcome. Christmas was spent at my aunt and uncles house. My brother was there too. He made me mad but I did calm down and didn't leave. I wanted too but I didn't. He was being a jerk and sometimes I am way over sensitive. New Years was fun. We had friends over. I lasted until right after midnight and then I was out like a light. In December and January I went to physical therapy for a pinched nerve in my back. It is healed now. I have some trouble with a muscle that goes from the front right side and wraps around to the back but the excersizes seem to help it too. I also stand much straighter than I did.

Peony is adorable as always. She is a very good companions d I love spending time with her. I have had more issues with concentration again. Thankfully my lessons are spread apart so I can rest I between or I would be in deep trouble. Focusing is also continuing to be an issue. Nothing new for either of them but I am losing words more than ever now. It drives me crazy. I can't think of the proper word that I have used a million times. It makes me feel stupid at times. I know I am not and it is just Fibro but it gets to me.

Well, my mind is about to stop thinking of what I want to say. I am glad that I now know I can post from my phone.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

It is November and we are enjoying some beautiful weather. Unlike last year when it was 18 degrees and snow, it is 75 degrees and simply beautiful out. Unfortunately, it doesn't do anything to take away the headache I now have. I have 3 more lessons tonight but that will help distract me from the pain, I hope. Nothing is worse than teaching with a bad headache. It isn't too bad, yet, but it will get worse as the night goes on. It is one of those types today.

Earlier today, Peony and I went visiting a friend. We had lunch and a nice visit. I am so glad we got to visit before the head got worse. Donna is a nice lady. She has so many health problems, wayyyyyy more than I do. She is waiting for surgery again on her back. She is older than me too but we get along very well. Donna enjoys Peony too. Peony loves everyone so she loves Donna. She will sit on Donna's lap while we are in the car going to and from places. You can see the joy on Peony's face as she does this.

I am so glad for Peony because much of the time at night, she comes in my room for a while to see me before she puts herself to bed in the other room. She even let me pet her for a very lonnnnngggggg time on Sunday. I think I was petting her for about 30 or so minutes. We both were in Heaven. Then she wanted me to read for a while, so I did. I like to read before bed at night because it relaxes me and gives me a chance to focus on something other than pain. Sometimes, though, I can't because the pain is too much but usually, I can, even if for a tiny bit. Peony also gives me a good distraction and helps me to relax. She is just the best little dog ever. I love her so much. I really do.

We are getting ready for the Christmas Recital around here. Most everyone has picked their songs. We plan on one song but just in case I am having everyone learn 2. For the Spring Recital, we really could have had everyone do 2 songs but I didn't know that until it was too late. This time, I am prepared. We have about a month before the recital. I have that long to make all the Christmas Gifts. I am making candy sleighs. I saw a picture on Facebook and saved it. They look so adorable. It is completely made with candy (candy canes, Hershey's miniatures, and I am not sure what other kinds of candy yet). It will be fun to make too.

We are having corned beef for dinner tonight. One of my favorite foods!!! I love corned beef! I could eat the whole thing, possible in one sitting. I am not sure as I have never done this, but in theory, I think I could. Bill puts it in the crock pot first thing in the morning and C just added the vegetables. It will be a nice family dinner. We usually eat together every night except band night, if we can. It is something I really appreciate. I try to be done with teaching by the time Bill comes home from work so we are all eating together, then after dinner, C and I do the dishes. I enjoy the time we have doing the dishes, no so much doing the dishes, although they are a piece of cake since we have a dish washer and have very little hand washing to do. We just enjoy each others company. I enjoy everyone's company in the house and treasure the time I get with each of them one on one.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

I seem to be posting about 2 or 3 times a month now. A far cry from when I posted everyday. Life is just so full now with teaching part time and having a house full of people. I like it though, a lot. It is so much better from when I lived alone and was grieving so deeply.

Another year has past since the dear Momma has passed away. It has been five years now. Sometimes, it seems like a lifetime, others, like yesterday. I will always miss her. I know that now. My friends who have lost a parent or parents, have told me this. I met up with my friend, Jen, on Monday. She lost her Dad a few years before I lost Mom. She still misses him a lot too. It has gotten easier as in I am used to her not being around anymore but not easier in the missing her part. I suspect it never will get easier in that part. I still find myself looking out and thinking, what a beautiful day, if only Momma were here. I did pretty well on the anniversary itself. I was pleased. I took my friend, Donna out for a drive and we had ice cream in honor of Momma and her love of ice cream. She really loved ice cream. I mean, it was her favorite food, ever. We stopped into McDonald's and got a cone for each of us. They are big cones too! It was nice to talk to her about Momma because she misses her too. Donna and Momma were good friends. I just wish Donna had known her before the Alzheimer's kicked in but such is life.

This week has been a good week. It flew by. I can't believe it is Sunday again. Time flies around here. I have a new student this Saturday. A singer. I am excited about this. Mondays are completely filled at this point. I can have about 3 or 4 more students and then I am completely filled. Saturday is completely filled also. I can only have about 4 a day because of exhaustion problems and they can't be in a row because that also causes much exhaustion. Monday I have breaks in between lessons. Saturdays I have a break too. They are very important. I can't over exhaust myself because that is how I end up in the hospital with headache problems or bleeding problems. I don't know how I get bleeding problems from exhaustion but I have before. Mostly, I get bad, uncontrollable headaches from exhaustion. I do have a few more than I used too, which is awesome. That means more bills get paid.

This weekend was a lot of fun. Friday, C and I watched the 2nd of the Harry Potter movies. I gave the audio description for her. It was hard because of all the dialog. There wasn't as many lulls in the dialog to explain what was going on. Then Saturday, I had 3 lessons: P.J. (my autistic boy) - piano, Isabelle - voice, and Hannah - voice. I took a nap after that. Later that evening, C and I watched the 4th Harry Potter movie. We couldn't watch the 3rd one because I no longer have it. I loaned a former (she was my student when I loaned them to her) the 2nd to 7A movies and she didn't return the 3rd or 6th movie. I was not happy. At this point, no Harry Potter movies will ever go out again. I do hope that eventually they will have audio description on them and re-release them. I doubt it, but it would be nice. I am not sure when we will see another one but one never knows when C has no homework and is available. All depends on her schedule! She is such a busy young lady!!!! Today, A is back from camp and our friend AE is here also. He went to camp with A. AE's siblings will be arriving sometime soon. I haven't seen them in a few weeks. He has a great family and we are very close. I often will go and watch the kids overnight. It is a lot of fun when I do. I want to go see a movie with their mom, Elle soon. I want to see the movie, "The Intern". It looks so funny. I love Anne Hathaway. I just love her in every movie I have seen.

Halloween is Saturday. I don't particularly like Halloween. I don't like the gore or scary stuff. That is just me. A will go out trick or treating while C will pass out candy. I will hide inside as usual and read or something. I just don't do Halloween. I won't go out at all if I have my way. I don't know if I will or not. Momma loved the costumes on Halloween of the little kids so she loved passing out candy. Me? I stayed inside and listened to her go on and on. Sometimes, I would come and look. Christmas is more my speed. That is when people are generally nicer to each other and think of other people, which I like. I also love buying presents for my friends and family. I know what I am making my students this year. It will be fun, I hope. I am excited about it. I know what I am getting my family too and my friends, the few I exchange presents with.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Today was the day I saw my hematologist for the monthly blood test. Because I take blood thinners, I have to have it checked every month to make sure it is in therapeutic range. I don't mind because I don't ever want to have a blood clot again. It was awful, simply awful.

The myofacial pain is better today than it was on Sunday. My teeth pain is better too. Unfortunately, my sinus pain hates me, which is to be expected in this weather. It happens every fall. It is just the way it is.

I have had all my lessons this week. I hope to get a few more, then I will have enough to keep me busy enough without exhausting me. How I used to do 50 and 60 a week, seems to blow my mind but I was so much healthier then. It was before my blood clot and the vasculitis. They seemed to have made the fibro and definitely made the headaches worse. The only thing I hate about fall is the headaches seem to get worse at night again. I find myself getting up at night and going downstairs to get some Advil.

This is a short one today. I have a lesson arriving soon. She is a really talented girl and super nice too. She works very hard.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

My face is very sore today, including teeth. Not like my teeth are loose or I need to see a dentist type pain, the myofacial type tooth soreness. When they touch, ow! My jaw hurts too. I am not trying to whine, really I am not, but I am in a bit more pain that usual. I tried to nap twice to take my mind off the extra pain, but it didn't help. What finally did? A short drive. Believe it or not. I drove for about 45 minutes in the car with Peony. I took a road that I knew was pretty to ride down and just drove. I had gotten something to drink (a soda pop not the alcohol type of drink) and just drove. She was such good company. Then we drove home. I felt ever so much better. I think the Advil started to work too so that may be part of it but I was distracted and that was what I really needed. If not, the pain gets out of the world out of control and then nothing works. That is when I end up in the hospital because it will travel to the rest of my head and cause an uncontrollable migraine. Those, I am trying to avoid so distraction therapy worked for today for this particular pain issue. Will it work again? *shrugs* Who knows? It is a try and see what happens disease. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

It got really cold (compared to last weekend, which went to the low 90s) this weekend. We were in the low 60s. Now, normally, I am one happy camper about it because I can take the 60s better than the 90s but we had to turn the heat on because poor Peony was shivering last night. Heather BT had to take her upstairs and literally put her in the middle of blankets as she was so cold to the bone. She is fine today and sporting her cute pink monster sweater. Peony is back to normal. She is staying closer to us today as I would expect because she wasn't feeling well last night. I took her with me and she was happy. She has gone back and forth between me and Heather BT all day. She was on my bed when I tried to take the naps that failed miserably. That is actually normal for her. She will lie on my bed with me when I nap. It is like she knows I don't feel well and that I need her. Peony will do the same for Heather BT. It is an awesome thing to know she is there. Sometimes, I will even find a toy or two on my bed after she gets off.

School is back into session and I am hoping for a few more students. One more has now come back for lessons. She has pneumonia now so no lesson this week but will start next week depending on, of course, how she is breathing as she plays the clarinet. I just love her! Her mom and I have know each other since I was about 9. We went to the same church growing up and have stayed in touch through out the years. Allie is such a nice girl too. I look forward to seeing her again. I have room for about 4 more students and then I will be full. I don't know if Jessie is coming back. I hope so as she was such a good pianist and student. I just love her. She was nice and funny. We always had a good time with lessons too. Jessie did really well with lessons. I also hope that Krista comes back. That I should know in the next week or two. So if those two come back and then I get 2 new students, I am completely full and things will go good for me. It would be nice and financially I will be able to pay all of the doctor bills too. Right now things are so tight because I am not where I need to be. I am getting there and I am sure I will soon. It is just the beginning of the school year and it often takes time to get a full load. I will have to wait and see.

The house is in the Harry Potter mode right now. C is reading the books and she and I watched the first movie last night with me doing the audio commentary since it doesn't come with it. If the movie people do put the audio commentary (doubtful) on it, I will re-buy the entire set for that reason. C said I did a good job of the audio commentary. Next up, when we can, is the second movie. We may re-watch the first one so A can see and our friend, Star can do the audio commentary (she really wants to do this) but we will see. A is interested but not super interested at this time. I think as the year goes on and he hears more and more about HP, he will become more interested in it. A did ask if I thought he would like them and I said yes because I do believe he will. Perhaps not right now, but maybe in a year or two. He is only 10 almost 11. I am re-reading the books myself. I am on book 6. I can't read them in my room because the book is hardcover and too heavy for my hands to hold it up. It just makes my hands ache so. I plan to read it while the kids are in school and I am done with getting reading for teaching. Normally, I read at night and in my room, but I will need to read the last two books down in the dining room. I just can't hold them up. I tried putting them on a pillow, folding the pillow in half, nothing worked. It was just a mess so down in the dining room when kids are in school will have to do it for me. I have other things to read at night in my room. When the kids are doing homework in the dining room, I like don't like to be there because I feel that I distract them. They get so distracted so easy as it is, so me being there makes it worse. That is why I will not read the book when they are home unless they have no homework. I just can't be a distractor for them. Homework is too important and the distraction level is too high to begin with. Besides, I love sitting in my room, in my pajamas, in my chair with Peony near by, reading after dinner and dishes are done. It is usually only about an hour or two before bed anyways so it isn't like I am hiding out or anything for hours upon hours. The peace and quiet is lovely to lose myself in a book. Of course, if A or C need help with homework, I am there too. Sometimes, they do and I help. All depends on the day. So far, they haven't had much but it has only been the first week of school.

It looks so beautiful out today. The sky is blue, blue, blue with puffy white clouds. The temperature isn't too bad with a hoodie on. I have so many hoodies that I love. They go with different jeans or pants that I have. Flowers are still in bloom. Heather BT is the master gardener in our house and she IS a master gardener. She has planted some lovely plants and flowers in the flower beds around our house. The one thing that hasn't changed is the only carpet rose plant that my mother planted for my graduation party for graduate school in 2001. She planted 3 and only 1 has survived. Heather BT plans to keep that as a tribute to my mother. I am glad. Everything else she will, as the seasons pass, change, I don't mind. She can. I have the one flower and that is all that matters.

Speaking of my mother, this year will be the 5th year since she passed away. I miss her so much. When C and I were at the part in the movie last night when Harry found the mirror of erised, I commented that I would want to see my mother. Since the mirror shows our most desperate of deepest desires, I know that seeing her is my most deepest and desperate desire. I know that someday we will be together again and we will never part but that doesn't stop me from missing her so much now. I think about her everyday. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about her. It isn't all sad either, I do think about happy things about her too. I will think about her when I look at clouds and I smile because she loved making shapes out of the clouds when she saw them. That makes me happy.

It is almost dinner time. We are having squash and ham. I love the kind of squash we are having. Momma loved squash too. The boys didn't. They would roll their eyes at Thanksgiving dinner when Mom would serve herself a big bunch. We all love squash here. Do you like it?

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Hello September! I am so glad to see you!!!! I can't wait for the weather to go along with the month. This weekend, Labor Day, is going to be hot for here. Although, I have very little room to complain about the heat this summer as we have had very little of it. Most of the time, it has been very very very nice. Very few days with 90 degrees and above, which is rare for Michigan but I will take it.

Pain level these days has been not so good. My headache has been bad, my sinus have been bad, and overall, I just haven't been feeling like myself. I hope the cooler weather that later next week is to bring will help. I can only hope.

I saw my brother over the weekend. It was a nice visit. I hadn't seen him in person in over a year. I just wasn't able to but now I can. I hope to see him again soon. It is a long drive so I have to be in good shape that day in order to see him. I was doing alright until I got home. I ate something at lunch/dinner that I shouldn't have and oh my. I was so dizzy and out of it. I literally had to either lie down or I would have fallen down. I was in bed by about 8 pm that night. My tummy has been upset ever since too. It is improving but it has been a rough road for me. I had some beer cheddar soup that I think totally disagreed with me. It tasted fine but I don't think it agreed with me because I didn't feel well shortly after eating it. I won't have it again. That is for sure. I will think twice about this. I think next time maybe I will get a salad instead of soup. It is a nice restaurant and they have good food. I just tried something different and well, sometimes that is just not good.

I have 3 lessons today. My Sammy has a bad headache so she is coming on the weekend instead. Bob had a makeup from yesterday this afternoon, Alexis will have her lesson, and Quinn will have her makeup lesson from yesterday too. Bob plays piano and has been playing piano with me for over 10 years. He plays very good. I am pleased with his progress. He learns theory along the way also. Alexis is new to me and she also plays piano. She had another teacher who moved before she came to take lessons from me. I am pleased with her progress too. Quinn is a singer and simply adorable. She is 7 and is very serious about singing. She practices a lot. Quinn does everything I ask her too. Basically, she is a great student to have.

Peony had gotten a new harness on Sunday. She chewed through it today. Now we need to get her a new one so she can't go outside until we get her a new one. We don't have a collar for her either since we use a harness for her. I was not happy with her over this one. Silly puppy. You are supposed to chew your harness off. It was only side but still, enough where she can't use it. The last one Q broke during their wrestling time so that is why we had to get a new one. I don't know but I think we are shopping tonight.

Monday, August 17, 2015

I am so glad that summer is almost over. I don't do well in extreme heat, like today or the extreme cold. Fall and spring are much better for me, especially fall. I sleep better in cooler, not cold, temperatures. Last night I had the fan on all night long as it was so hot in my room. It really hasn't been too bad without a/c. I really can't complain. This summer has been nice without too many days too hot. Today just happens to be one of them. I am cooler right now with the lovely fan directly in front of me. I will move it into the living room when I teach this afternoon.

Little man and I have had a good afternoon so far. He and I went to a store and he got a new toy. He is very excited about it. Currently, he is playing on it downstairs. Little Man is one thrilled boy. I love that he is thrilled with the toy.

Miss Missy and I have been reading Harry Potter together. She has been putting this off for months. I kept telling her she would like it but she kept ignoring me. Well, one day last week, I pulled out my first book and started reading out loud to her. She went and got her braille copy and followed along. She is now on the 3rd part of the braille copy of the first book. Miss Missy loves the Harry Potter book! I am one thrilled girl about that! I knew she would if she would just give it a chance. She just had to give it a chance.

I have been waking up earlier lately. I don't know why. It is kind of weird. About an hour to and hour and a half earlier. Very, very, very weird. I have no reason why either. I have been going to bed about the same time. Perhaps because it gets warmer in my room earlier? I don't know. Miss Missy is glad that I am up earlier no matter the reason. Of course, this often means I need a nap in the afternoon. I have no time for one today. I have lessons right during nap time. I will be busy so that is okay. I think I take more naps when I don't have as much too do.

I am rather achy today. It is because of the weather. That much I know. It is suppose to cool off a bit tonight so it should be better then. I will be happy about that. My right elbow has been pretty sore lately. Right at the trigger spot. It hurts on and off and has for months now. Sometimes, it hurts so much I can't even lift stuff with that arm and it is my right arm. I am right handed. Naturally, when I went to the arthritis doctor, it didn't hurt much that day so she didn't see it in action.

About Me

I teach music and sewing to the most amazing kids in the world. I like to read and do crafts in my spare time. I also love reading blogs about other peoples life. I hope you enjoy reading mine. I also have fibromyalgia and arthritis.