kinda weird in both good and bad ways o.o
I usually feel like this around holidays. For one thing, they don't feel like they used to when I was younger. And at the same time they are nice and make me a bit happy but somehow also very sad

Location: Where I go hauntingly, within the depths of a darkened forest

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I was feeling perfectly fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine until my mom fucking ruined it for me and filled me with pure anxiety and restlessness! So, fucking thanks mom! -.-

She asked me if my money came in (my sis took out the money yesterday) because my sis hasn't given her any money (she likes to keep it in safe hiding because my sis has a habit of.......stealing). I tried to "rip the band-aid off" and called her up to give me the money now. I waited for about 5 minutes until I called her again where she told me to wait because she was watching a movie or some shit. Had she not heard of this thing called "The Pause Button?" It's a straighter version of this symbol right here! =

In my restlessness and anxiety, I offered to pay my sis a visit but my mom snapped at me "Crystal, NO!!!". So, here I am all angry and so anxious that my entire body is just...humming and I just want to jump out of my fucking skin. I'm trying to relax but I can't *sighs* Yeah, it looks like I'm not talking to my mom for a while. I tried to fucking help and take action but she snapped at me. What kind of shit is that? Why the flying fuck is she asking me where the money is?!? She knows how I feel about that. Whatever. Looks like I'm calling it an early night so I can listen to music in the dark.

Location: Where I go hauntingly, within the depths of a darkened forest

Posts: 9,674

Amazed at how I'm able to stop myself from punching the living daylights out of my sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I've never punched anybody in my life (just playfully)! But as of today, I'm choosing to not give in to her bullshit and instead, choosing to give in to creative energies and using them as an outlet.

Other than that, I feel good. Great even! Hell, amazing! My mom left 2 hours ago to my brother's house for the week. Do you know how fucking happy I am right now? I could practically fucking cry! I honestly can't remember the last time I was alone in the guest house

Location: Where I go hauntingly, within the depths of a darkened forest

Posts: 9,674

A little better. A few hours ago, I heard some guy arguing with some other guy outside my window (there's an alleyway-I'm not too happy about that). A few minutes later, I heard him saying he was gonna r*** his mom as he was beating him up. That made me feel very uneasy and anxious. My hands were shaking and were sweaty because.....that's not something anybody (especially a woman!) should be hearing. Thankfully, I didn't hear the sound of gunshots (or a woman screaming from inside the house!) as the guy went back inside his car and drove away. This is the 2nd time I've heard the same guy arguing. I was just thinking to myself.....why the fuck does it have to be right outside my window??? God, just when I think I've heard just about everything I hope he doesn't come back again :/