(FoxNews) When “relocating” to the United States, it’s best to avoid states that have selfishly put the interests of their legal residents ahead of yours with laws that hinder your access to jobs and benefits. But many attractive destinations remain, endorsed by millions of illegal aliens already living in each.

1. California

California’s state motto “Eureka” (I have found it!) aptly applies here. The state’s population includes 3.2 million illegal aliens — almost 24% of all illegal aliens in America — have chosen the Golden State as their preferred domicile.

Unless you commit a violent felony, the state leaves you alone. Los Angeles Special Order 40 – a sanctuary policy that sets the tone statewide – prevents local officers from inquiring about your immigration status.

Many “visitors” head straight for Central Valley, which depends on a combination of immigration and irrigation to produce almost 8 percent of America’s total agricultural output. You’ll be in good company because more than half of the farm workers in California have no work authorization.

Of course don’t forget in-state tuition for illegal aliens. Take advantage of the Dream Act in a place that can only be described as the Dream State for Illegal Aliens.

2. Montgomery Country, Maryland

If jobs are what attract you, then this upscale community close to our nation’s capital offers the mother of all magnets.

The first step to getting a job is to visit a Casa De Maryland (CASA) Welcome Center. Their employment specialists help you find a job and don’t give a hoot about your legal status. They will even help you acquire an IRS-issued taxpayer identification number because, of course, you’re here illegally and not eligible for a real Social Security number. This powerful organization is truly the illegal alien Welcome Wagon with $16 million in assets, $4.9M of it acquired in 2010 from government contracts!

Don’t worry about Secure Communities because the County recently opposed its implementation. And for college-bound illegal aliens, take advantage of in-state-tuition now that the state passed the Maryland Dream Act.

3. Washington State

There’s nothing like a valid driver’s license in your hip pocket to help you navigate the U.S. at will.

Most states require you to present your Social Security Number (SSN) to get one. Washington has made an exception. If you don’t already have a fake SSN – or aren’t “borrowing” one from a U.S. citizen – simply sign a form and bring a utility bill along to prove you’re living in the Evergreen State.

Don’t have a utility bill? Washington accepts Mexican Matrícula Consular ID cards as proof of identification. The state is not concerned with FBI and Department of Justice warnings that the cards are not reliable forms of ID and pose “major criminal and potential terrorist threats.”

Don’t even have a consular card? That’s even easier than getting a driver’s license. Visit the Mexican Consulate in Seattle and bring a birth certificate (they’re not concerned about whose it is) and proof of address.

4. Chicago – All of Illinois too!

The Beatles may have had you and Chicago — the whole state even — in mind when they sang “I get by with a little help from my friends.” Local politicians will entice you, excuse you, and if you don’t mind terribly, use you.

U.S. Senator Dick Durbin is a good friend of illegal aliens and a stalwart supporter of the DREAM Act.

U.S. Representative Luis Gutierrez is your other friend. He’s on record saying, “I have only one loyalty, and that’s to the immigrant community.”

Illinois Governor Pat Quinn is also on your team. He recently told the federal government that Illinois will not participate in Secure Communities.

What does remain is Chicago’s sanctuary city policy. You won’t be asked any questions if you keep out of trouble but should you get jailed, no one will check your immigration status even when you’re in custody.

Finally, Chicago’s mayor, Rahm Emmanuel understands your needs; he used to be President Obama’s Chief of Staff. He’ll do what he can locally to continue the president’s agenda of dismantling of immigration enforcement.

Of course you’ll be expected to vote for all these folks once they figure out a way to make you legal but you’ll get used to it, quid-pro-quo voting is a Chicago-style tradition.

5. New Haven, Connecticut

New Haven is what its name implies – a haven for illegal aliens. You won’t need to fuss with legal documents like driver’s licenses, social security card, Green Card, visa or passport; there is a card just for you. In 2007, this town became the first in the country to offer ID cards to residents, “regardless of age or immigration status.”

The most useful aspect of having one of these cards is that it allows you to open a bank account and deposit money from the job you’re working — without legal authorization.

Interestingly, the New Haven ID card has embedded holograms so that no one can ever steal your identity. Yale’s hometown has thought of everything right down to making sure no one in town ever has a phony illegal alien ID card.

31 Responses to Illegal Alien’s Guide: Top Five Best Places To Live In America

This is just treasonous -- and California -- do they need to be hit in the head with a sledgehammer to understand why they are in the red? But, again, Sean Penn just has to give up one movie’s profits to the state and he can fix that.

Can anybody clarify to me, why American taxpayers are forced by law to support people who illegally entered America from foreign countries? It is disturbing this is not charitable giving, but that this money is extorted from our taxes. This is just incurable and has a similar ring to the Obamacare care, which without consent of the majority of the general public that has been also shoved down the throats of US taxpayers. I can truly understand that most Americans desire to aid citizens and legal residents a helping hand in periods of recession or even falling on hard times. But how can the US government make us pay for a foreigner’s education or health care? This is by far one of the most serious issues befallen America, because people who arrive here should not be encouraged to stay by the Democrats or Republicans, either with pandering to them while illegally squatting in America, crossing borders, overstaying visas or coming into the US by ship.

It just goes to show that we cannot trust the US administration or those we place in high authority, to run this country and then gives the American people the finger? I cannot even imagine this nation’s future, where foreign nations seem to have more rights, than birthright citizens? It’s only come to light over the last years, that unknown to most Americans politicians they have used cagey practices to pass six small amnesties behind our back, bring in millions with special visas. The major amnesty was in 1986, its inception starting the chain migration from its original population spiraling to 6 million, at a final cost of 76 billion. However, that was 25 year ago and trying to estimate today’s costs, ranges from 2 trillion to 2.5 trillion dollars in legalizing at least 20 million people. ( Statistics of the Heritage foundation) Currently the New York Times and its ultra Liberal activists are trying to convince us all, that illegal immigration has slowed to a trickle? My observation of thousands of sovereignty groups see no credence this revelation, but if these reasoning was solid, what about the millions that have arrived here. It’s completely inconceivable or rational to the prudent mind in any government bureaucracy authoring another amnesty of any kind, when this great country is 14 trillion dollars in debt, with Obama’s boys trying to lift the debt ceiling even higher.

The Liberals that have infested the Democrats have ruined America with the Tax and spend policies. But this time they are not only confronted by the House Republicans, but the emergence of the All-American Tea Party. Not at the assistance of the Liberal press, that this is just a timid group of dysfunctional people, but a very enthusiastic membership of all party affiliates that is straining to release itself from the usual, elitist GOP establishment. Thousands of cells or branches are reaching out to every moderate thinking American, to escape the Liberal extreme propaganda and even lies. This is the real people’s party, comprising of all races and religions and a rare representation of Blacks, Whites and Hispanics and other races. The general population who are joining the TEA PARTY means Liberal, Independents, Libertarians, Republicans and Democrats and other political associates, who realize finally how they have been deceived.

Leading the TEA PARTY front is Michele Bachmann (R-MN) chair of the Caucus and moderate Conservative by definition, who has taken the presidential race to the people. She makes no excuses for the financial mess the country is in, but is steadfast that unless the Liberal-Democrats start cutting the influence of giant government, we will arrive on August 2, without any guarantee of a compromise of passing the debt limit. Only majority leader Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada would look for answers, in raising taxes of any kind on taxpayers or industry. Unlike the wimps in the current Congress M. Bachmann speaks out about curtailing illegal immigration, constructing the real double fence, tracking visa over-stays and seeking out business owners who ignore the laws on the books. This lady has a strong resonating voice that draws attention to the principles of the TEA PARTY policies.

Bachmann is resolute in mandating E-Verify and Secure Communities, as these two tools alone could locate and apprehend illegal aliens in the workplace or by checking fingerprints, aides to inform ICE of violations. Through April 30, 2011, more than 77,000 illegal immigrants convicted of crimes, including more than 28,000 convicted of aggravated felony (level 1) offenses like murder, rape and the sexual abuse of children were removed from the United States after identification through Secure Communities,” ICE says on its Secure Communities website. A relative of mine who is a police officer informed me of a very new piece of technologically, that has been assigned to Los Angeles police station called “Blue Checks” He explains it in detail, that this new system allows officers to confront a suspect and request them to hold out their hand. The hand-held device digitally scans the digits of the suspect’s hands, and within minutes the official receives a full criminal background account on the person. Only those in the system have reason to fear if they are wanted for a crime of some classification.

This new piece of equipment is under bombardment by a whole group of left leaning activists, as seeing it as an evasion of a person’s privacy. The “Politically Correct” are already coming out of their grubby holes in the rotting woodwork, crying foul and hoping that the lawmakers rescind its use. The ACLU doesn’t like “Blue Checks “saying the device is an invasion of privacy. Imagine criminal aliens who have reentered the United States being apprehended immediately that may save thousands of American lives. Supporters say they’ll be able to find out if someone has prior arrests, in seconds, instead of hours. I see it as a brilliant compact that all should be placed with law enforcement including ICE. This small unit should have access to national Security agencies, connecting to the Social Security Administration, US Citizenship and Immigration Services and of course ICE. Every patrolman should be issued with this module as it offers instant recognition and could catch, illegal aliens using fraudulent ID.

Immigration laws have been ignored for far too long, and the last I heard there were an estimated 8 million aliens in jobs that Americans should have been hired for? This is incomprehensible when 9.3 percent of own people remain out-of-work. This is plain stealing and employees should be held to the highest penalty allowed by law. WHY COMING TO A SOVEREIGN LAND ILLEGALLY IS NOT A FELONY, MAKES NO SENSE TO THE MAJORITY OF THE AMERICAN POPULATION. Michelle Bachmann said she will enforce the 1986 Immigration laws, with no exception and zero tolerance that breaks these laws. It is the same with Governors and mayors who abuse city and State laws, applying a blind eye to Sanctuary Cities and States. This illegal immigration battle has been brewing for thirty years or more, except the law abiding people have finally come out of their somnolence.

Everyday blogs, articles and commentaries are crammed full of the abusiveness of previous and current administrations, overlooking intentionally the people’s needs and who have become supplicants to majority major organization, that place pack money in favorable politicians pockets. Bloggers and conservative entities describe the overcrowded schools full with the children of illegal parents; classrooms crammed to legal capacity. In the Southwest the phenomena of closing hospitals overrun with continuous streams of foreign nationals filling the waiting room seats, for every type of medical emergency and even minor colds and ear infections. The uninsured have silently entered this nation, with the purpose of applying for welfare with the backing of taxpayers’ money. These are mostly unfunded mandates forced on States, which have finally found a voice within the Canyon State of Arizona. Others have been quick to follow, including Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Maryland, Utah already enforcing selective laws, not restricted by federal court system. E-Verify are the best tool available to prevent jobs from going to illegal aliens, no matter what the other side of the aisle says? More than 260,000 businesses are already using E-Verify at nearly one million work sites, nationwide.

Remember foreign nationals have been voting in federal and State elections; authorities are should be obligated to ID everybody who registers.

This is about illegal immigration? An immigrant is not illegal and people need to be enlightened. Highly skilled Professional workers are always welcome, not indigent ECONOMIC illegal aliens who are driving this country, into a third world condition. We cannot accommodate any longer those who come here to steal welfare and public benefits from legitimate Americans. It is estimated that illegal aliens send home by wire transfer around $40 billion dollars annually, that should be going into state treasuries.

Don’t hesitate to reach the Senate phone switchboard—202-224–3121 and House—202-225–3121, and inform them you will not be manipulated into another clandestine Amnesty, disguised as the DREAM ACT.

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[...] Air) Individuals who are not authorized to work in the United States (i.e. immigrants in the country illegally) last year collected $4.2 billion in tax refunds from the Internal Revenue Service, according to a [...]

[...] enforcement when it announced that the government will not initiate deportation proceedings against illegal immigrants unless they have committed serious crimes. To critics, Obama had indeed worked his way around [...]

Hi guys
I can fully understand all concerns and your anger caused by the subject of illegal immigration. No doubt: I would feel the same about it. By the way…my own country (Switzerland) is being flooded by immigrants. But that’s another story. What I wanted to tell you about is my own personal situation with the subject. I am an American at heart. Which means that the U.S and the values they stand for always were an ideal to me. Not to mention that I travelled to the U.S. over 30 times for leisure and business. I love your nation and most things American.

When I was around 30 years of age I was seriously thinking about moving over. And I can tell you “the dream was fading fast”. And it makes me angry. Absolutely furious. An AVERGAE guy like me has ONLY the following options:

Immigration as a highly skilled person in science, arts, sports, culture. I am NOT one of them
Immigration through an investment of at least 500k Dollars. I do NOT posess that money
Immigration through marriage. Ok…that would be an option, but….fooling immigration laws that way? And the risk of not becoming happy because that argument “you just maried me because….” No, Madam, thank you.

What lasts would be illegal immigration. And I would NOT do that. Not my style, not my mentality, not my focus, especially BECAUSE I love and respect this country!

I am an average guy in my (meanwhile) mid 40′s. Well educated. Decent, blank criminal record, physically and mentally healthy. Speaking English fluently. Loving and living your cultural values, probably knowing more about American history than many Americans. I guess if you saw me in your community you’d not be able to tell I am not belonging there….
I could be a person that “adds to instead of taking from” your society.

But for a guy like me….there is NO way to immigrate. Unless I find hundrets of 1000′s in investing money, marry a woman on purpose, or, what you fear most, would come as an illegal.

WHY is it that people like myself can’t immigrate? While your nation is FLOODED with people from any corner of the world who are not able or, even worse, not WILLING to adapt properly. And turn this great nation into a 3rd world nation…..I simply can not understand. And most probably never will.

A good friend of mine once asked me: “What the hell do you want over there? Healthcare, education, jobs, salaries, pension, EVERYTHING is better here than over there” my answer was short and simple “because America is at heart”.

I do not expect my own little story to be meaningful. But maybe it creates one tiny new aspect whenever you discuss immigration subjects next time.

Wow! Im speechles you are all racist. America was founded by European immigrants! And yes that means that one of your ancestors were illegal, honestly im sick of this country and its racism. And to all of you people that want to come to the US please reconsider it because no matter where you come from (country, continent) your life will suck in the US, freedom its nowhere near to find in the US. Im planning to move out of the country And God help me to do it fast and easy. Btw i was born here (biggest mistake that my mother could make) i hope that this country will finally change otherwise America as we know it its going to disappear. PS call it United States because America is the name of the continent.