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I know, I know, every time you visit these days you see a new template. I just can't make up my mind. I'm like that around the house too. I rearrange furniture all the time. My mother says it's a sign of discontentment. She's probably right. I'm not usually content with anything for very long.

I'm just not in the holiday mood. What is wrong with me? I usually get very excited (stressed out) when it's time to cook and entertain. I haven't even made out my grocery list and it's 10:45am on Wednesday! Don't even talk about cleaning the house.

What I really want to do is curl up in the bed for the next few days without any responsibilities. No kids, no housework, no pets, no phone, no visitors....

....you get the idea...

I guess I'm depressed. The winter time is much harder for me when battling my depression and anxiety. I want to hide from the world and from myself. I thought by going to the salon yesterday and getting my nails done and my gray hair colored, I would feel better. But all that did was make me feel bad for spending money on myself here at Christmas time. I'm just a sad sack!

Well...here's a picture of my hair and my nails. I should at least show them off.

The past couple of weeks have been very trying between my 16 year old son and me, to say the least.

He is a wrestler for his high school plus he wrestlers for a state club. This season he became determined he was going to drop down a weight class from last year. He wrestled at the 112lb class last year weighing around 109-112 the whole season. (He's a small guy, me and his daddy are both short) Last year was a perfect fit, right? But that was last year and naturally he has grown and couple of inches and now weighs naturally around 118 lbs.

103 lbs is the next weight class down. 118 dropping to 103 for a kid with nearly 0 body fat is a bad idea, right? Well, after several conversations (arguments), I let him alone and told him to do whatever he wanted.

Yesterday, I looked at him and realized he was a walking skeleton.

His eyes were sunken in, his cheek bones and color bones were protruding. He looked horrible. He went on to school, I was heart broken, felt like a horrible mother…

I tried to download my before and after pictures of Clean Up or Clean Out and my computer erased them all! I'm not sure what happened. One minute they were downloading (or so I thought), the next minute they were all erased from the card but no pictures on the computer!

Was this sabotage?

Do you think my camera is trying to send me a message, like "hey, stop pushing my buttons so much!" Perhaps the computer is tired of my constant pecking. I don't know. What I do know is that I will treat them both with a little more respect from now on.

Today is going to be a "Get Organized" day. I am going to attack my bedroom closet, wardrobe, and chest drawers. I am throwing out anything I do not wear or use! I am so tired of opening my closet in the mornings and not being able to step inside of it for fear of something falling on my head. I have a pile of laundry that touches the ceiling in one closet and so much stuff in the other that I'm afraid I may find the cat that we "thought" ran away last year. Let's hope not.

Okay....I'm off to the bedroom....wish me luck! I plan to post pictures tomorrow of the before and afters. Also, I made a set of curtains and made a fabric covered headboard that I will show you tomorrow. Here's a sneak preview of the fabric.....By the way, I got bangs! What do you think?And...here's Jeff sporting his new beard. No, he's not in pain, he just looks like he is......

My boys are heading to Mobile today with their dad to visit their grandmother. I always miss them more when I know they are not in town. I just wanted to share with you my pride and joy! Have a happy Friday!

So yesterday came and went. I was so busy that I forgot that I was turning old. Actually I had a lot of good birthday wishes. People that I haven't spoken to for years either called or emailed me to say happy birthday. That made me feel very loved.

This past Sunday, Jeff and all of the kids threw me a little birthday bash with dinner and cake and a bag of goodies. I loved everything I got! I got a massaging shower head, a manny and pedi gift card and a small water fountain that can set on a table. I think the theme was RELAX....

Tuesday night, my boys went shopping for me and came back with gifts they picked out on their own. I believe the gifts they chose must say a lot about me....

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To OthersYou are very strong-willed and proud, but intensely private and not easy to know well. Behind your quiet exterior lies agreat deal of emotional depth, sensitivity, complexity, and alsofierce determination. When you want something you go after itrather quietly but insistently and wholeheartedly - and youusually get it.

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation Quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, youare not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. Youare extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and you allowonly a sp…

Step families or rather "blended" as they are called. (Yeah right, blended in a blender on high speed!)

I have been on all sides of the fence. (how many sides are there to a fence, huh?) I have been a step monster to kids, I am a step child and my children have been step kids. None of the scenarios worked out very good. Except, I being a step daughter hasn't been a bad experience for me. Have you ever been part of a "blended" or pureed family?

I have noticed recently a lot of people around me becoming part of this small kitchen appliance family. I understand whole heartily how difficult the process can be. It's a role that requires complete honesty, trust, understanding and Prozac.

moving on.....

The idea came to me that I should blog about the trials and tribulations of these roles and offer my experiences so that people do not make the same mistakes that I made. I guess first I should share with you my step story. From the top.....

When I reached up in my cabinet this morning for a coffee cup, I grabbed this one and a thought hit me. I have had this cup since I was 18 years old. It was a gift to me from my cheer leading partner, Kelley Watts (I wonder where she is now?) I was amazed that I had hung on to something this many years and it has always been in my cabinet throughout the years. I did some quick math and this is what I discovered:This cup is 24 years old. (Yes, I'm about to be 42 years)It has moved with me 12 times. (I was a nomad)Number of uses is too many to countI love this cup. It has endured several packing and upackings, car floorboards, and the rain. I think I had a plant in it once. It has stuck with me. I always smile when I reach for it. Isn't that strange. It feel like a tiny piece of my teenage years have followed me around all of these years. I guess we can carry around a piece of our youth, huh? : ) Thanks Kelley-wherever you are!

It has been a good week since I have written. I know you usually expect something light hearted and funny from me, but I am not able to produce much of that this week.

Monday morning at 6:30 I received a voicemail from my fiance'. He said he took himself to the ER at 3:30am and was being admitted to the hospital with an Atrial Fibrillation. This was the second visit to the ER in a 7 day period with the same issue, this time they decided to keep him.

Needless to say, I was in panic mode and began scurrying around for clothes, shoes and a hairbrush. I got there at 7:30am and he was on the CVU floor. I walked in to see him hooked up to a thousand wires and tubes. I was very scared. He said he was fine. I said "oh really-yeah you look just fine".

His heart rate was bouncing all of the place. It shot up to 150 then 114 back up to 120 and so on...He felt like he was on a treadmill and couldn't get off! Atrial Fibrillation means your heart has "popped out" of si…

Today is Sunday that means tomorrow is Monday. Oh No! Not already! I need one more day to rest. I believe I'm suffering from a sugar-hangover.I actually have a clean house (still). I straightened this morning and I'm washing sheets.(Yes, I see the folded towels behind my head, don't worry I'm about to put them away.)

I put the dog outside and vacuumed all of her hair off of the couch and floor. I can actually breathe now.I love her, but she's killing me. Hair....Hair....and....More Hair!@#*!

The cat got a collar. It had a bell on it but it was driving her and me crazy so I broke the bell off. Now she's quiet and sneaky again. I cleaned her hair off the back of my couch and the ottoman. I can't put her outside because she will run away and come back pregnant.

I want to take a nap but my son has to be at wrestling practice at 2pm and it's 15 minutes away. It's 12:15 right now, I might could squeeze in a sh…

Last night I went to a Halloween Party as Lily Munster from the 1960's TV show"The Munsters" I watched the show as a kid and always loved Yvonne De Carlo's character as Lily. Do you think it was a good match?

Okay, not really, I know. But it sure was fun dressing up last night. I'm going to go now and raid my child's candy bag!