Skinny Mirror Company Courts Retailers for Capitalist Trickery

A California company has infused even more occult trickery into the sorcery of the looking glass: a secret curve that tricks the viewer into appearing “10 pounds thinner.”

The Skinny Mirror claims it can even brainwash weak-willed peons into purchasing clothes worn while looking in its nefarious surface. A study published on the company's website reports 88 percent of customers using the mirror made a purchase at a lingerie shop in Sweden, while only 73 percent of people looking at their regular bodies in a regular mirror made a purchase.

This mirror might even be bewitching you without your knowledge. Founder Belinda Jasmine is now in talks with a “popular apparel chain” with over 450 stores worldwide. The company remains unnamed. Dark magic is truly upon us.