Of the several question that arose following the news that Mitt Romney is holding a fundraising dinner with Donald Trump—if Trump eats a fried cheese product, does it count as cannibalism? It it worth it for us, as a species, to even have hair, if this is what it can lead to?—the most pressing: why was Romney doing this?

The answer, the presidential candidate said on Monday when asked about his allegiance with America’s loudest conspiracy-mongering opportunist: “You know, I don’t agree with all the people who support me and my guess is they don’t all agree with everything I believe in. But I need to get 50.1 percent or more and I’m appreciative to have the help of a lot of good people.”

Brilliant. We look forward to Romney’s future partnerships with . . .

O. J. Simpson (“I need to get 50.1 percent or more and I’m told many Americans enjoy athletics and sport!”)

Casey Anthony (“I need to get 50.1 percent or more and Florida is a swing state!”)

Jesse James (“I need to get 50.1 percent or more and this young man’s a successful small-business owner!”)

The hunter who shot Bambi’s mother (“I need to get 50.1 percent or more and, you know, gun rights!”)