Things I will do for Money

Tutor – 40$/hour
I can teach you math, from basic arithmetic through pre-calc.
I can teach you english, generally this is for foreigners.
I can teach you biology.

Carsitter – 25$+/hour
I can sit in your car with you while you drive so you can use the diamond lane. Chit chat is extra. For an additional charge I will sit in the back seat and watch for police.

Housesitter – generally free providing you let me have crazy parties in your house
I can watch your house, feed your pets and water your lawn. I promise your house will be in near perfect condition when you return.

Babysitter – 30$/hour
I can watch your kids, entertain them, cook for them, teach them ( this would fall under tutoring), etc. I am good with kids and have plenty of references if you’d like.

Computer Tech – 50$+/hour
I can come help you make/fix/clean up your computer.

Website design – 80$+/hour
My site is the single most beautiful site in existence. Yours can be too!

TV watcher – 25$/hour
Don’t have time to watch all your favorite TV shows? Hire me to watch them for you. I will give you synopses of all the episodes.

Cook – Negotiable
Actually I won’t cook for you, but my friend Kelly will. She’s a New York trained chef looking for a job. Let me know if you need a great personal chef and I will connect you.

Professional Commenter – 15$/comment
I will comment on your MySpace, Blog, Forum, etc, to help you convey whatever Aire you prefer.

Professional Student – Depending on if you are semesters or quarters. Between 2000$ and 3000$
I will take a class for you. I guarantee at Least a B-, or your money back. An A gets me an extra 500$

Personal Therapist – 100$/hour
I have my BA in psych. That FULLY qualifies me to do a myriad of things such as testing and therapy.

Professional Pirate – 50$/hour
I am a Great pirate. I can find and DL almost ANYthing digital. You ask for it, and I’ll try to get it for you. For any law enforcement agencies reading this, I point you to my contact me page regarding the seriousness of this site. ( But no for real I’ll do it!)

Photographer – 50$/hour
I have a camera.

Philosopher – 100$/hour
If you need someone to tell you how to think and why, I’m your man. I can either rationalize your pre-existing beliefs or make up new ones for you.

Critic – 75$/hour
Apparently there are people we pay to tell us their opinions on things. I would like to be one of these people, so if you feel the need to hear someone else’s opinion about something, I can provide that for you. You can hire me as “offensively over critical” or “conservative and unwilling to take a side.”

Traveller – You pay for my flights, room and board + a negotiable salary
I take pictures, deliver things for you, assassinate people for you or whatever you need. This would be my dreamjob. I’m more than willing to go pretty much anywhere. Except Green River Valley in Utah… what a $#!7 hole.

Play Russian Roulette – 1,000,000$
Put simply, you get a Million dollar stake going, and I’m in.

Story Teller – .5% net gross and 4,000$
Need a plot? Writing a book/movie/play/etc? I’ve read ALOT of books, comics and seen MORE TV and movies. I can provide you with stellar plot ideas, thrilling protagonists, interesting hooks and wonderful mysteries.

Massage Therapy – Negotiable depending on how female you are
Actually I’ll refer you to my friend Karen who is a trained professional. She gives Great massages and has a magic touch. I can put you guys in touch when you realize that that sore back of yours is Not going away.

Video Game Player/Tester – 20$/hour + food
Have a character on an account? Not leveling him as quickly as you’d like? I can level you quickly and get you good items to boot. I have mad video game and mmorpg experience. You can’t bot, or you’ll get your account deleted, so hire me, and I’ll gold farm you to that epic set you’ve always wanted.

GM – Negotiable
I have 10+ years of GMing DnD (3E and ADnD) in multiple realms, Rifts, White Wolf games, etc. I focus on plot interaction with characters and story, but try to tend to my players needs. If you read Knights of the Dinner Table… Well then you’re a nerd, but you also see a few stereotyped GM templates. I would say I’m most like Steve. At anyrate, I <3 GMing with a good group.