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Time flies by so fast that it is difficult to realise that we are about to say ‘Goodbye!’ to 2014 and ‘Hello!’ to the New Year. You probably have many things to be thankful for over the last twelve months but, like the rest of us, you have also had your challenges.

Maybe your ‘life script’ did not turn out as you would have liked – but then life often throws up unexpected challenges to be overcome, such as health issues or relationship problems. That is the order of our lives and with a new year ahead of us, it is worth remembering to be grateful for what we actually do have – our family, our friends, our work and all those special moments in our lives.

Of course, it is very easy to feel sorry for ourselves when things go wrong. Maybe you didn’t get that promotion you wanted or you lost a personal relationship. Your health may have deteriorated and such issues are often tough calls to handle particularly if they come together.

But that doesn’t really help us to move on. In order to do that, we need to take full responsibility for what is in, and what is out, of our control. There is no point in wasting time, energy or even money on that over which you have no control. However, there is a point in accepting a particular situation as it stands and seeing how you can amend your life script to take account of it. Your life-script may not be within your own control, but the attitude that you exhibit in your approach to situations that you encounter, is within your determination and can positively influence outcomes in your favour. Continue reading →

At a dinner party the other evening, we were debating whether we were born lucky or was it that we make our own luck. My own sense is that we can create our own good fortune by taking control of our own life and being aware and receptive to opportunities that come our way, at various times. It is also about recognising that there is far more going ‘for’ us than ‘against’ us. By recognising chances that are ‘for’ you and acting upon the options that are presented, you’ll be able to achieve many of your aspirations.

Even those individuals who are sceptical, have every opportunity to create their own luck. Being ready to seize opportunities when they present themselves is up to every one of us. Whatever our age or situation in life, it is never too late to exercise control by identifying choices and then choosing those that will benefit us. Of course, sometimes we may make the wrong choice but we can rectify that by then making another! Continue reading →

According to the lyrics of a popular song, when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you, and as I listen to the words being sung on a YouTube video clip, it really brings a smile to my face. However, it also goes on to say “cry and you cry alone!” And that, I’m afraid, is also a truism.

A smile can be a great energy booster both for the giver and the receiver, so why don’t we all smile more often? You may say that you don’t always feel like smiling or that you’re not in the mood, and that may well be the case but just think of the effect of your mood has on those with whom you meet, your spouse, your colleague or your child. Continue reading →

Last week’s blog on retirement brought in many comments with people writing to tell me that they were thinking of starting their own small business.

In 1987, I established my stress management and counselling consultancy – and for me it was the right decision. However, being one’s own boss requires a specific mindset plus a commitment that is different from working for someone else within a corporate environment.

What it takes to start

Before embarking on a self-employed career, you need to give consideration as to whether you are really suited to what will initially be a 24 hour job. A majority of people would rather work alongside others rather than being an entrepreneur, working all hours and having to make all the decisions. Going ‘solo’ is not right for everyone and it is important that you find out at the early stage before you put time, effort and finance into your new career. Continue reading →

Today, is International Women’s Day, and in looking at their website, it is interesting to see so many international events taking place, ranging from large, national conferences to small informal ‘get-togethers’. However, the message is the same which in the words of Jude Kelly, Artistic Director is: “To celebrate the formidable power of women to make change happen, to remind us of our history, to draw attention to injustice and to enjoy each other’s company as we set out to achieve a fairer world”.

Tales from South Africa

This made me think about all the special women that I have met over the past year. I visit South Africa at least once a year and there I work with women who are budding entrepreneurs. These are women who have not usually received a formal education, but still want to create and grow their own businesses so that they can send their children to school, so that they can be independent and not have to sit on street corners, begging for money. I have met women who are so completely focused in their endeavours that it puts many of us to shame. They have a strength and determination of which many of us can only dream. They have
no cars or large houses but their township homes in which I stay are spotlessly clean and tidy and I can only stand back in amazement at their resilience and fortitude. Many of these women are single and don’t have the support of a man in the home and yet they survive in bringing up their children. However, what they do lack are the marketing skills to promote their small businesses and this is what I offer to them through my 1:1 coaching programmes. Some of the skills are specific such as helping them to write their own business cards and business plans, but other skills are those that come from encouragement and motivation. Continue reading →

Here in London, we have just experienced our first fall of snow this winter. It arrived with a vengeance, severely affecting airports and roads. The day
after, I went outside into the front garden to clear the path from snow and
within half an hour, I had spoken to many of my neighbours all clearing the
snow, like me, many of whom I rarely spoke to from one month to the next. There we were, all sharing in a joint activity, offering cups of tea and coffee to each other. Overnight, we had become a community again because we had a common interest. None of us could get our cars out the driveway, and we were fighting against the weather to try to clear the driveways before the ice arrived overnight. Continue reading →

My client, Jeremy Saunders is married and works – or rather did work – as a Design Director, in London, for a large firm of manufacturers of sports goods. He has worked for the company for over 10 years but, last week, was told that he is redundant and was
no longer required.

He had been half expecting to hear some bad news because a new CEO had been recently been recruited who had threatened to cut staff numbers. He had talked about his fears with his wife but they decided to enjoy their Xmas and then face the situation in the New Year. It wasn’t definite and there was a good chance of him keeping his job. Continue reading →

Two weeks ago, it was the UK’s World Mental Health Day and despite the considerable publicity that is given to mental heath on this day, and also throughout the year, the topic is still, too often, a taboo subject. We know from medical professionals that those suffering from anxiety and other mental health issues need to seek help as soon as possible before permanent damage is allowed to occur and that any delay in diagnosis and treatment, due to social stigma regarding the subject, needs to be avoided.

So this being Mental Health Day, I thought it would be an ideal opportunity to look at some basic myths and misconceptions about one cause of mental health problems, stress. Continue reading →

I was sitting in my hairdresser in London the other day at 8 am, which is my normal weekly routine. Sitting in the peace and quiet is something that I really enjoy and look forward to. However, on this occasion, one of the other clients, had a voice that was so loud and intrusive that the tranquillity of the salon was broken and I was very pleased when she left and fortunately, she only had short hair.

This incident made me wonder how many of us are actually aware that many of our frequent habits may actually annoy others either at home or at work. At the office, behaviour such as shouting down the telephone, never thinking of making coffee or tea for a colleague or bringing in smelly food to eat at one’s desk are all stated to be some of the more irritating habits, according to a new survey from Samsung Electronics. These complaints were followed by slow computer systems, printer jams and unnecessary emails which were also a daily misery for office workers, accordingly to the survey of 1,500 adults.

Why is it, I wonder, that many of us are actually unaware that we are being annoying and the resultant stress that we sometimes cause to others? Was that woman in the hairdressing salon really not aware that everyone had to listen to her conversation with the stylist, and were very anxious for her to leave so that peace and quiet could
be restored? Continue reading →

I walked into a client’s office, last week, and she immediately apologised for the mess of her desk. Papers strewn everywhere, with overflowing box files lying around the floor. Her noticeboard was covered with scraps of paper on top of one another, and post-it
notes stuck onto her monitor screen.

I said there was to need to apologise but I did wonder to myself how she could find anything when her desk was in such disorder, and how efficient was she at running her department. Afterwards, when we sat down for our meeting, it transpired that her life was, in fact, in turmoil, and the state of her desk was a reflection of her personal life.

Of course, I am not saying that an untidy desk is always indicative of an untidy mind as I have other clients who also work in what I regard as a ‘mess’ but they know where is
every piece of paper at any one time. Different people work differently. Continue reading →