. . . a funny old life with multiple sclerosis

Here We Go Again …

You know how it starts, that ‘whoops, where’d my brain go?’ sensation.

That out-of-the-world feeling, the disconnection, along with the overwhelming fatigue, stumbling, mangled words, etc.

It must be Relapse Time.

MS has flicked through it’s malicious diary, thought, ‘hmm, let’s see, last one was in …. oh yes, February. I’m thinking August sounds about right. Bring it on and let the games begin’.

It started three days ago and I’m struggling to get the bare minimum done. And by bare minimum, I mean barely getting by with the minimum. The washing basket is overflowing, the paperwork is mounting up and I’m re-reading the same page of my novel over and over again. Some bright spark chose ‘A Suitable Boy’ by Vikram Seth for our next book club. 1500 pages. I may have to Wiki it.

On the other hand, The Teenager is having a fabulous time shouting out, ‘watch the wall!’, ‘d’oh, there goes another plate’ and ‘nah, don’t understand what you’re saying, soz, that’s not even a word, muvver.’

Luckily at work on Friday, there were loads of people on site, so I was able to sit in a corner pretending to look at complex building plans. Whenever anyone walked past, I whipped out a pencil and appeared to be calculating steel beams and floor boards. I got away with it. Back home, I stumbled to my sofa, collapsed and lay there for three hours.

I physically couldn’t get up. I wanted to, I needed to get stuff done, make dinner, appear normal, be a mum. I simply couldn’t. The Teenager came downstairs, modelling his newest t-shirt. I cocked an eye open, told him how lovely it was and apologised. What more could I do?

The next day, I woke up, yawned, went out for the essentials, yawned, came back home and went back to sleep. When I woke, I yawned and thought about going back to sleep. I stumbled to the kitchen, yawning, dropped a plate (this one bounced) then back to the sofa. And repeat.

The only ‘good’ (and I hesitate to use that word) thing about a relapse is that it concentrates the mind right down to the base level. If you can just drag yourself through the day, that’s an achievement. Nothing else matters. All the stress of the last few weeks means nothing when you’re gripping bannisters and falling over in the kitchen.

The aim is to get through this as quickly as possible, to yank my brain back from it’s wanderings. To rein in all the physical symptoms so that they’re more manageable. In short, to become me again.

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26 thoughts on “Here We Go Again …”

Calm down missis 🙂
Yea, its annoying as all hell, but you, I and everyone with MS all know it will pass… 🙂

Lets just call it a bout of, em… thrush? I know that with a pill, it stops and goes away, and this is NOTHING like Thrush, but I just wanted to stop you from stressing, which ultimatly will makes things worse! 🙁

It WILL pass….just hang in there. I fed the Seagulls on our first day of the annual sailing competition…and it passed….a cup of rosy lee on land did the trick! I know seasickness is not the same as ….IT, you know… BUT………….

just chiming in..I don’t think not having had a relapse for a long time makes a difference in the severity of one if you do have one. could be wrong but no one has ever mentioned that to me before. it all depends on the area that is effect by a lesion

Excellent point. I haven’t heard either that the length between relapses will make a difference.
Plus, although my sad little blog article might suggest otherwise, I think relapses do get easier to manage as time goes on. I’m certainly not quite as terrified as I was before, just saddened that I can’t get stuff done!
x

I wish that was me! Although, I have to say that the more I cook healthy food, the more I want to eat healthier food. Which is lovely. Not that I was totally unhealthy before, but now I’m way more veg-based.
x

Reading ‘A Suitable Boy’ (which has the teensiest tiniest writing!) whilst simultaneously dealing with a relapse is just being cruel to yourself. You made me chuckle – we had a similar ‘error’ as our first book of book club…mostly because on Amazon, you only see the book in 2D! Epic fail. I still haven’t finished it and it’s been 4 years… I applaud your determination and perseverance! Wishing you better.