There is no Miracle gutter, no matter what you end up buying you still need to clean them out from time to time. My dad has spent hundreds on various gutter "shields" the only thing they did was make my job harder when I'd go over to clean them out.

Just don't do it. You're planning a redundant hot water source that will only cause you grief. What's the worst that will happen if your new water heater goes tits up? A few cold showers. What's the worst that WILL happen when your old tank leaks or blows up? A flood, possibly no water at all, and sooner or later that old tank is going to have to come out. Pay a little now, or a lot later.
Up here home owners /business insurance won't cover any water damage caused by an electric tank over 10 years old.

I think there was an Australian guy who had something like 12” risers on his bird, something about neck issues. Apparently it never slowed him down, but that thing needs to be set on fire and its ashes scattered to the four winds.

Just how trashed? I'm sure we could find a way to get this poor thing to you. With the current exchange you could probably pick it up for $1000 USD
https://www.kijiji.ca/v-motorcycle-parts-accessories/calgary/clean-alberta-title-canadian-bike-2001-honda-cbr-1100-xx/1328064619?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true

I'll echo what was said above. Spray in insulation (pay to have it done). Drop ceiling (a pain I the ass to install) or paint, it does a decent job.
If you really want to soundproof get some roxul and stuff it in-between the joists.

Many cities do not have a seperate rain/waste system. Canada's national capital is one of them. Every time we get a downpour, rainwater overloads the system and raw sewage is dumped into the river. The state now has a law holding municipal politicians personally responsible for clean water, not just a slap on the wrist either, but large fines potential prison time.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walkerton_E._coli_outbreak
Don't be a cheapskate, just find an rv park and dump it there. Failing that then this:

The Allen key won't rotate in the steering hub nut. One end of the ram bracket is clamped into the short end of the Allen key tightly and doesn't move. The other end is into the x-grip ball and it doesn't move either. The ram mount itself will rotate about 20 degrees, it's the nature of the mount, but it tends to want to stay vertical.
TL;DR Friction

Lol, I bet that’s it, they didn’t realize which way the sticker is facing.
They installed the new GPS unit on Friday, and I had a chat with the installer, it’s exactly the same thing that came with the truck, but a different brand. It’s about the size of half a Twinkie (sorry no banana for scale) and plugs into the OBD2 port.
The boss showed us all how it tracks out mileage, acceleration, position and can do it in real time, but they use it for daily mileage reports. The reason they switched is the new system is supposed to integrate with our dispatch to send the closest tech. I can see the benefits there as time and cost savings, but then I mentioned that we’re not in the city and any backup tech is at least an hour or two away, unless he’s planning on hiring some new staff. That got a laugh from everyone.

I work for a large company, which has some large and sensitive clients. As part of our transfer from one big company to another (this happens regularly) we get to go through the whole process of being vetted criminal record check etc... it's a condition of continued employment, even though we're a union shop it's never been challenged, because well, no one has ever refused or failed the checks.
Our phones are used to track us as well as our vehicles. It's a feature that comes on our fleet vehicles directly from Ford, the salesperson took great pride in explaining to me how it all works, in short it's like the "find my friends" app on a smart smartphone, but on steroids. I'm not cool with any of it but I understand it. I know they're currently using the Ford system, because I've been called by my manager and asked how could I be at work all day yesterday when my vehicle had almost 0 kilometers reported, to which I trot out the same thing I do every time he asks: "did you look at WHERE the truck was?" I get a loaner (usually a focus) when I bring the work van in for service, and I put it on my corporate shared calendar that I'll have no vehicle as to not get dispatched to a call where I'll need more than my tool pouch.
This month we're getting a new telemetry system installed in all vehicles, I'm not sure exactly why but it's probably related to our new dispatching software.
The thing that's bugging me is we received these stickers that we're instructed to install inside the windshield. There's the company logo and "GPS ENABLED & PROTECTED" on said sticker. When I asked about the placement I was pretty much told to shut up and just do it. What's got a bug up my ass is that the printing on the stickers faces INWARDS! It's not like it's one of those sherlock/lojack anti theft deterrent stickers or boomerang (anyone remember those?) it's almost like a "Big brother is watching you" stickers.
Am I being paranoid?
TL;DR Does a sticker reminding me that the truck has a GPS telemetry seem Orwellian?