Saturday, February 9, 2008

Steve Landcruiser, the slow but dependable wagon whomoved countless pieces of furniture across thecountry, was destroyed Saturday at the age of 22.

Steve was purchased by the State of California as partof the vehicle retirement program for cars unable toreach emission standards. "He left the world as helived in it, conscious of god, fearless of death andat peace, surrounded by toothless car wreckers," thefamily said in a statement.

On a cold, cloudless January day in Los Angeles, 1986,the Masket family needed to replace their 2 year oldJeep Laredo, who's engine had recently melted due to afamily "misunderstanding". The long search for a newcar ended when they fell in love with a 1985 ToyotaLandcruiser. Little did they know, they hadpurchased their last SUV.

Steve got his name from one of Seth's high schoolteachers, Steve Tothro. The soft-spoken civicsteacher was noted to be slow but dependable. Overthe next 201,000 miles, Steve earned his nicknamegalavanting across the continent without a singlespeeding ticket.*

The proud career of this noble wagon paralleled ageneration's search for meaning on the highways of the"Old West". Steve made his first road-trip to thedesert to watch the Space Shuttle land in '87. Hemoved to the Bay Area later that year and soon afterbecame the consumate "road-trip" car.

Noteworthy trips included: the first EVER Lairday-off to Canada; a seperate tour of the San JuanIslands/Victoria, BC; and a winding sojourn throughArizona, Nevada and SoCal where an overheating Steveforced us to drive through the Summer desert with theheater on.

Steve crossed the continental U.S. twice, in '95 and'99. In all, Steve travelled to 3 countries, 28states and a district. And even though he was"salvaged" after a head-on with a deer, he never hadsignificant engine troubles. It was the emissionslaws, enacted after his birth that proved to be hisundoing.

"Watching him driven into the wrecking yard felt wrongsome how. I'd prefer to imagine him taken out theback door and into the African outback, where hisbrothers and sisters dominate the terrain as Hashemintended," the Maskets said in a statement.

Wherever Steve is, the memory of countless friendswho's furniture he moved will live on for eternity.Steve is survived by Barbara, Sam, Seth, Vivian, Eli,Sadie, Sirena, Harris, Delilah and Reggie. In lieu offlowers, the Maskets ask that you please recycle, asthey did.

*Factually speaking, I got a ticket at Steve's helm, driving 35mph in a 25 zone on College Avenue in Berkeley.