When Losing Steam & Feeling Discouraged

And since it’s in my inbox three times today, I’m officially inviting your expertise and advice on it.

Here’s a compiled summary of the emailed questions:

I’m starting to get discouraged at the lack of results in my business/dating life/health regime.

I still haven’t found a way to effectively market my services/attract a partner/get healthy, and am losing steam fast.

Everyone says you haven’t failed until you give up, but it’s hard to continue without any sign of progress.

Can you help? I just want to feel better.

This is my personal response to any LOA-savvy friend feeling discouraged with lack of results:

First of all, I’ve been here and done this. I know the routine of feeling bad about what’s not happening despite best efforts.

And … conscious creators know we don’t let results dictate how we feel.

Results come from how we feel; they don’t tell us how to feel. (Letting reality dictate our vibration is the muggle way.)

Meaning, our job is to find any vibration that feels better and lead with that, rather than try to create results in order to feel better.

That’s the heart of conscious creation.

And granted, not the easiest thing to do when we’ve been practicing feeling bad. Anything with momentum likes to keep doing itself.

But we can change the trajectory.

One better feeling thought (or action) at a time.

Because we know that feeling better is the key, and we can do that right now. Even if it’s tears, a tantrum, a meditation, a distraction, a nap, a beer, a cookie, a swear word, even a little self-pleasure – whatever would feel better. That’s where we start.

Instead of trying to make things happen so we feel better, find a way to feel better first. After that we just honor inspiration.

It’s pretty simple. And you can do it.

This is a chance to walk your LOA talk! Practice what you know and it won’t take long before life reflects your unconditional approach to it.

That’s what I’d say.

And now it’s your turn, guys …

What words of advice to you have for an LOA savvy person feeling discouraged with lack of results?

22 Responses to “ When Losing Steam & Feeling Discouraged ”

I agree with all you said, Jeannette.
In the past, I just kept a-goin’. It worked, to a degree, but not very satisfactorily.
Now I have a better method for myself, and that is to make MYSELF the most important factor. And I have held the belief that this really is a cooperative Universe.

No results? Feel like stomping my feet? I do it!
Dead ends on something I thought was all-that-AND-a-bag-of-chips? Feeling down and blue about it and wanting to curl up, turn away and stare at the wall for a while? I DO it!

Just allowing myself to go to what may be considered a dark place and doing it to honor MYSELF and my emotions . . . and it IS honored and passes with gratitude that it was acknowledged.

Is there something lined up in the heavens or not aligned…I’ve been feeling this as well and a lot of others I’ve heard have also!

Lots of ups and downs, tears and “what are we going to do(s)”…going on!

One thing that helped me was my mentor quoting a very savvy conscious creator with the words, “Everything is going to be okay.” And like my mentor hearing that from her coach 😉 was just what she needed at the time, so too that was just what I needed at the time.

The willingness to cling to those words and to believe in them resulted in a higher vibration/better mood and from that vantage point a different perspective. Today was going to be a difficult day financially, but so far to our surprise folks have been super cooperative and empathetic! One little bump in the road, but something we can live with, so we feel it is a positive as well.

Practice, practice, practice…and it gets easier. There will be some “falling down the rabbit hole” moments, but words from another “Universe has your back” also helped to get me into a positive place of believing and a willingness to not give up on myself, our family nor Source/Universe.

Being present in each challenging situation also helps and I’m just now learning it. Taking everything else off the table so to speak…an focusing on just one challenge at a time when you need to take action and being present – all in…fully present. Then observe the feedback that comes with taking action…let it pass through…and then know again, if this didn’t work out…STILL…”everything is going to be okay, Source has your back!”

Much love being sent to those from your inbox…they are in good hands with you Jeannette!!!

Jeannette, as you mentioned in your previous response to me in the previous post, this community rocks!

I echo the others here. It will really all be okay. The Universe does have your back no matter what. Do not compare yourself to others, even though that is what society does, but that is the muggle way. You are paving your own life and learning your own deal.

Even if you do give up, the thing you desire will find you when you least expect it, when you are not focused on it. I think I’ve told the story here of the author of Romancing the Stone and other stories. She was deterred from writing in college, as she was told she is not talented by a professor. She promised him she won’t write and he agreed to pass her in the class, as she was on scholarship. Devastated, she stayed away from writing for decades until a film crew showed up in her neighborhood and she naturally spoke with them and told the writers how much she admired them. One told her to send a sample of her work and the rest was history. It turns out, as she learned years later, the professor (who passed away) did not know what he was talking about and could have even been jealous of her talent an tried keeping her down. If you do not find this story inspiring, I do not know what else would be.

My point is, you desire something. Even if you quit and relax, which is what follows, the thing you want will find you. Also, do not let anyone bring you down. People die and move on and positions open up all the time. Universe knows.

I have yet another. Jody Watley wanted to be on Soul Train. I loved her when I was little. She kept showing up backstage to be chosen to go on tv, but was never chosen and was even told to not bother showing up and go home. yet, she continued to show up for some time and one day she was allowed on the show, became one of the most popular dancers on it and her career took off after that.

The mostly likely reason you’re NOT experiencing the results you want is because of resistance.

All you have to do is find the resistance and shift it.

The primary way I do this is by asking myself the question, “Why wouldn’t I want _____ to manifest in my life RIGHT NOW?”

Write down everything that comes to mind, no matter how silly.

Once you’re written down everything that comes to mind, it’s time to begin shifting your don’t wants and turning them into do wants.

When you’ve done shifting, you’ll notice something really amazing, when you think about your desire, YOU NATURALLY FEEL GOOD. You don’t have to work at it, it’s just how you FEEL NATURALLY (that’s what happens when resistance isn’t present anymore).

EXAMPLE
Two years after our divorce, my ex-wife was frustrated that she still hadn’t found a new guy yet. I kept telling her to do this resistance question exercise but she always declined. Finally, she gave in and we set a time to hang out. In about three hours time, she wrote down all the reasons why she didn’t want a new guy to manifest RIGHT NOW. Then one-by-one we shifted each of her don’t wants and turned them into do wants. She was still skeptical but she admitted that she did feel a lot better about the subject of relationships.

I forget now how long it took. I might have been eight weeks. However, it could have taken as long as four months. Anyway, one day my phone rang and I got the call I was expecting. She’d met a new guy. He was incredible. She thanked me and said, “I wish I’d done that exercise sooner.”

Don’t wait, do the exercise RIGHT NOW and see how easy it is to feel good about what you want, once you’ve let go of your resistance =)

Wow, Namaste, this is so wonderful! It’s great that you shared this. You and your ex must be great friends.

How about if what you want is to be a scientist but are afraid that the material may not all be at your fingertips? You can still picture yourself as a successful professional, right? just wondering about how you would ease this resistance, in your expert opinion.

I’ve always been blessed to be with truly amazing women so I’ve never seen any reason to burn the bridges at the end of our relationships. Today, many of my closest friends are women I use to be in relationships with =)

As to your question, I agree that you can still picture yourself as a successful scientist. However, if I were in this situation, I’d want to get out of the general and figure out specifics. Once I knew exactly what subjects I found challenging, I’d ask myself the following questions…

Why do I want to be a scientist?

Do I want to be a scientist enough to learn these subjects I find challenging?

Every profession comes with challenges (as I’m sure you know). The key is finding a profession where the challenges are worth going through. If you haven’t read this article by Mark Manson, it’s really worth it. He does a beautiful job of explaining this important life lesson http://markmanson.net/question

Namaste, you always blow my mind! Thank you so much for that article! That is what I needed to read and it came!

The article is correct and it states something I have known. It is just that people are like, why do you even bother, why are you still struggling with that, etc, etc, when there are easier ways out but to me that is settling for mediocrity. Since I do not want that, I continue with the struggle and make it enjoyable. I say this with all honesty, because some subjects are so darn hard. Yet, I still sit and learn them and do my best. If money were no object, I would still sit and learn it. I really want to know and understand how things tick. I remain very humbled and in awe and appreciate life so much more.

I won’t bore you with the rest, but you helped me tremendously with this my friend.

“The primary way I do this is by asking myself the question, “Why wouldn’t I want _____ to manifest in my life RIGHT NOW?”

This exercise sounds good in theory; however, as I applied it to my situation–same as your ex-wife, Namaste, I don’t know what my response(s) would be to this question….

Or, maybe if I was completely honest, maybe my one response would be this: I’m still working to eliminate the limiting belief that it is even possible for me to have a (new) guy in my life right now….

At least I’m gaining greater understanding about finding “any vibration that feels better and lead with that, rather than try to create results in order to feel better.”

Can I get a sign? A signal? Something merciful from the Universe to encourage me that I’m on the right track? Or what I need to do to get on the right track? Is it that when I get off focus, I get discouraged, or the discouragement gets me off focus?

So the good news is that you’re on the right track =) As of right now, you know that you want a new guy in your life. Step 1 is basically complete. I’d encourage you to create a list of qualities you want in a guy but only if it feels good to do so. I’ve manifested amazing relationships by using lists and without having lists, so both work.

From what you wrote, you’re at the beginning of Step 2. You’re working to shift the belief that it’s even possible to have a new guy in your life right now. Be easy with yourself. I got out of a relationship once and was so crushed it took a year before I could even imagine another woman in my life.

Once you’ve gotten to the point where it’s easy to imagine a new guy in your life, and some of the qualities you want him to have, that’s when I’d retry the question to see if you’ve got any other beliefs going on like, “I need to be in better physical or financial shape before I will allow a new guy into my life.” I’ve had both the “better physical shape” and “better financial shape” stop relationships from manifesting until I shifted them.

Now, let’s talk about the sign you want from the Universe so that you know the new guy of your dreams is going to manifest. Feeling good about life in general is important but it’s NOT an indication of whether a desire is going to manifest or not. The sign that will tell you that your guy is going to manifest is that when you specifically think about him, you ALWAYS feel neutral or better. If you think about him and you sometimes feel good, but other times feel doubt, you’ve still got resistance present that needs to be shifted before he’ll manifest. The key sign a desire is going to manifest is that the feeling of allowing is ALWAYS present when you think about it.

In closing, once I nailed down those three steps the manifestation process stopped being so discouraging and frustrating. If a desire I wanted wasn’t manifesting, I knew that there still had to be resistance present. All I had to do was find it =) It became a game of finding the resistance and releasing it. Then checking to see if I felt consistently good when I thought about the specific desire. As Abraham says, “The only step is releasing resistance.”

You might want to check out these two youtube clips where Abe talks about the importance of releasing resistance…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNQKuiMPWu4
I agree with everything Abe says in general about resistance in this second youtube clip. Where Abe and I differ in the way we do things is Abe primarily focuses on feeling good in general to allow desires to manifest. I focus primarily on feeling good about a specific desire in order for it to manifest, as well as feeling good in general.

One thing I have learned and it has been said before, you MUST feel your feelings and embrace the shadows. I thought I was getting so good at identifying negative thoughts before they even came out of my mouth and I was turning these thoughts into something better immediately. But, in fact, I was tamping down my feelings until I was about to burst. I did not get this really until I started reading all of Jeannette’s writings. Once I really had a good old stomping screaming, crying fit and writing a letter to the universe, etc…..things changed — the resistance I did not understand was in play disappeared.

Was the reason you were tamping down your feelings because you were pivoting off the issue causing them instead of dealing with the issue directly? Or did you not know what the issue was to begin with (as it appears you didn’t from that last sentence you wrote)?

Thanks Jeannette! It’s like you scanned my computer and came up with this wonderful thread.

Normally when things like this get me down I just get together with my close friends and talk about things I’ve been holding back from saying. I am very open about my private life but I do find that I have problems trusting people, even my close friends. This is dues to past and recent events.

However when I do open up to my close network. I almost find out that my friends are in a very similar situation or a million times worse than myself and there was no need for me to worry, get paranoid that it will thrown back in my face or anything nasty.

If I still have an issue I just have to walk away from what ever is bothering me and know that it is not for my greatest good. I had to walk away from a very unhealthy relationship were my ex refused to get help for his problem and refused to let me go. It was even worse when he saw my list of goals with a new man and he thought it was him and talking as if we have a future together.

Anyways I’ve got a 2nd date tonight 🙂 with the man I had the longest crush on.

I found that I love spending time on my own but I just needed to get out more, like a distraction. This does help to keep me calm.

Wow what a post…funnily enough my partner and I were having a discussion about this very thing.

For the past week, we’ve had works going on in our house and we both work from home and not only were we unproductive but thanks to our lack of cooking facilities, living on pizza and other unhealthy takeaways.

The first two days we were like, “Oh this is great, we can just chill for a couple days and get back into our routine.” But then we ended up just getting really lazy, feeling crappy from all the bad food we were eating and really down on ourselves that we were slacking off and not getting anything done.

Being LOA savvy I knew what resists persists, so I literally did NOTHING. I surfed the web, I kept eating what I wanted, and just watched cheesy lifetime movies for the rest of the week. I skipped the gym and instead enjoyed sleeping in. I just thought well if I’m going to be lazy, I’m going to be lazy in a big way.

Something strange happened…all of a sudden on Sunday I had the urge to work again. I got myself organized, took care of all the stuff I didn’t do during the week, caught up on emails, etc. I’m actually excited now to get up and get back into our routine.

Looking back I really think the universe knew we needed a break and needed to play “hookie” from our daily grind and I appreciate it immensely. I would say if you aren’t seeing results, don’t go looking for them, just take it as a sign from the universe that it’s doing the hard work and you just need to relax and take some time out and it will let you know when it’s time to “throw yourself back in.” Have a bit of fun, take that day off, eat cake for breakfast, can’t get a date with a man-go on a friend date instead, don’t go to the gym.

To sum it up: Do a bit of slacker manifesting as its known in these parts.

Thank you Jeannette for popping up in my inbox this morning!
As Mindy said ‘ there must be something in the air.’ This is so much what I needed today.
I love the releasing process Namaste posted. I did it and was amazed at the things I was telling myself. I immediately felt a shift.
Thank you all wonderful joyous co-creators.
Thank you, thank you.

I had myself a lovely outburst complete with tears at a sales meeting last week. It was short but oh so sweet. I felt so good for the entire rest of the day and the weekend. It made me understand more fully what you all have been saying about feeling your feelings. I didn’t even realize I’d been holding them in all month. Now as I move into June I feel so much better about what caused the outburst. Plus, I have the privilege of spending my days with the most amazing group of people who were so supportive, it felt great.