Consider this column to be a virtual pub. I raise my glass to all time-wasters out there.
It’s customary for this column to ignore the big news items of the week and instead focus on things that don’t really matter. So permit me to avoid wasting your Friday afternoon fruitlessly on conjecture about the inexplicably popular topic …

COMMENTS

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Re: Yeah, well, me too

It's fear. I have noticed this too. What happens, is, having broken at least one connector in our lifetimes (usually on a laptop or other item where it's difficult/impossible to replace), we take it VERY easy, the slightest resistance makes us reverse the connector. Then we find either (A) it fits, in which case the first time was wrong, or, (B), it doesn't fit, which means the first time was right but we didn't push hard enough through fear.

Very glad

I often ponder the USB plug's affinity for the flip side

Makes me think of that Intel rock star ad with the co-inventor the USB. Couldn't have come up with a way to determine plug orientation other than holding the plug to see the face then hoping as the plug is re-oriented to the socket that it does not get flipped. It is time that is wasted on something other than preferred time wasters.

Re: I often ponder the USB plug's affinity for the flip side

Possible explanation

Most of the USB plugs I use have the USB logo on one side and some other logo on the other. The "some other" is often the vendor's logo, or in one case the "don't throw in the bin" logo. Whatever, they're bigger and more prominent than the USB moniker and I'm naturally drawn to that being the "top". Hence almost 100% failure rate till I worked out what was going on and trained myself to turn it over.

If someone could just tell me how to line up the prongs of a halogen GU10 bulb without spending 15 minutes trying to locate it by feel, my happiness would be complete.

Re: Possible explanation

It's always the bloody awkward, inaccessible connectors that are the hardest. Bayonet and screw light bulbs are easy, because those are usually on exposed fittings and so easy to see. But spotlights, which are recessed and at full ceiling height are always the hardest. So you get the shitty thin 2 pin types, that you often have to screw in. Using a tiny jewellers screwdriver rather than a nice thumb screw naturally. And then the magical GU10, with 2 tiny flimsy pins to bend and fail to make a connection, and a crappy cheap spring holding the whole connection together. All of this has to be done in the dark, at full stretch standing on the floor, or with you head bent at a funny angle under the ceiling, if standing on a chair.

The same with USB. Mini USB is easy to see, because it goes on small devices that you hold in your hand to connect. The full-size USB on the other end, often goes into the backs of PCs, under desks, and so must be impossible.

I'm considering creating a new connector, that can only be plugged in while the right way up, in a locked filing cabinet, in a disused basement lavatory, with a sign on the door saying, 'beware of the leopard'. Obviously you'll need a torch to see it, because the lights will probably have gone...

Re: This is really old news

Nothing that applied black marker won't fix.

Interestingly most cables have a "memory", they lie a certain way and they get used to it. Not USB cables, they tend to invert when left uncoupled for any time.

When I first encountered the greater than 50% probability of the plug being inverted at first insertion, I applied black marker to the side that I would see as I was inserting the plug. Worked for vertical sockets as well. Forgotten all about that until I read the article.

Re: Nothing that applied black marker won't fix.

PS2

I'm obviously in the majority here in getting it wrong more than right (~75% in my case).

But the ones I used to hate more were the old PS2 connectors for keyboards and mice. Not only were they rotationally symmetric from the outside except for the small lip that you could never see when you were holding them to try and put them in, but if you were even a little off and pushed, you ended up bending or breaking the pins inside. Then at best it was a pliers job, at worst a new bit of kit.

So perhaps USB isn't so bad after all, as at least there you can normally do it on the second go and the risk of actually breaking the damn thing aren't high

Re: PS2

Re: PS2

Re: PS2

And they came with the bundled 50 / 50 chance of getting the keyboard and mouse the right way around when trying to plug them, arm twisted like a SCO lawyers soul, into the back of the computer.

I never understand why they didn't simply make the ports identical in the first place - they used a six pin mini-DIN - two for power, two for signalling, and two unused. The keyboard and mouse used the same two pins for signalling even though they were not automatically compatible with each other. It would have been a trivial matter to put the signals for one or the other to the unused pins and wiring both signals to both ports as many laptops actually ended up doing, Then you would simply have two interchangeable keyboard or mouse ports with no possibility of connecting them up the wrong way round.

Re: Optional

Re: Optional

SCART was f*$%^*"%^ evil.

You could get the orientation right easily enough, but then you'd reach behind the tv and start sliding the damn cable around and about all over the place trying to get the thing in. All you needed was to be a fraction of a millimeter out and you may as well have been next door.

Inevitably, five minutes later, you'd have to pull the tv out and plug the damn thing in by sight. Worst Cable Evar.

Re: SCART was the work of Satan

Re: Optional

SCART had two problems.

Either the socket was as loose as a loose thing (insert your own epithet) or it was so tight that you thought the plug wasn't going because it was the wrong way round - at which point you'd turn the plug around ensuring it wouldn't go in.

Secondly the cable (especially if it had all the pins connected) had a mind of its own and the strength of a full grown python and would defy any attempt to orientate with the socket.

Just remembered a third point - SCART sockets that weren't fixed to the TV/VCR case and so moved around as you forced the plug home. As a result repeated insertion causing problems with the PCB it was on. I have certain small Sony Triniton TV in mind.

Re: Optional

Yes, SCART was the work of the Devil himself. A French Devil. They're designed to fall out of the socket when any amount of force is exerted from the massive sideways-fitting lead. And then when you do try and fiddle with them, they usually fall to bits. They are also used to con gullible a-little-knowledge-etc type people into purchasing gold-plated versions. Who remembers seeing gold SCART leads for £79 at currys?

this is a manufacturing fault

Re: this is a manufacturing fault: Dell

Most desktop towers are built with the mainboard mounted on in inside right of the case (if you are looking at it from the front). Dell likes to build any number of units internally reversed, so not only are the connectors on the other side of the rear of the case, you have to flip the connector for it to go in.

Re: this is a manufacturing fault: Dell

Re: this is a manufacturing fault: Dell

The Dell Latitude D400 laptop has a USB external DVD drive. It contains a typical laptop self-powered thin mechanism. However it appears they needed more power than the laptop's USB socket would provide. So they made the cable plug a combined USB A and a polarised power connector stacked one above the other.

That reminds me of an external USB 2.5" hard disk unit. It had two USB A connectors daisy-chained on the PC end of the cable. It didn't differentiate which was the real USB connector - and which was the dummy fhat just supplied extra power from some laptops.

It's the bloody cables. If the USB connector is the right way up, the cable is twisted. As soon as your attention wanders, it'll flip back the right way (inevitably trying to take a bite out of your wrist on the way round). So you know the connector is the right way up by the tension in the cable. Except when the cables deliberately tense up, in order to fool you.

Still, I failed an even easier stupidity intelligence test last night. While fixing my Mum's Dell all-in-one PC, I wanted to plug a USB cable in, so bent down under the desk to find the case...

its not just electrical plugs n sockets ....

I remember being in IT support 14 odd years ago, it should have really been called "Printer Support" since HP's laser jets took up more time than all the PC issues I seemed to have to deal with.

Anyway I found that users could put the humble toner cartridge in a variety of ways, sometimes not pull the tab off and pull the piece of plastic out (to release the toner) . The best one had to be on what at the time was a 5 grand colour laser jet , with a rotary carousel of the 4 types of CMYK cartridge, and someone had tried to push a Magenta cartridge into a Yellow Hole. These things were "keyed" (and colour coded) so you shouldn't have been able (or attempted) to do it , also there was a ratchet on the rotating-carousel of the cartridges, and it was well and truly jammed, as it had rotated around and the ratchet was stopping it from being reversed. I somehow did manage to free it . Users , who'd have 'em? I guess it kept me gainfully employed.

In the valley of the people that can't put the square (colour coded) peg in the square hole (like the toy for 3 year olds that we all once had ) , the person that uses their 1/2 of remaining eye and 2 remaining neurons is KING !

Flamebait

I can't believe you lot call yourself IT professionals, and haven't yet mastered the tricky art of plugging cables into computers. Nobbly bit goes up. Nobbly bit always goes up. Work out which way is up on your computer. Insert plug into socket.

I normally like Dabbs' articles, but this one is utter pish. He admits to being flummoxed by VGA D-sub 15 plugs, yet can cope just fine with the identical shape of a mini HDMI.

On the list of things to get annoyed about, "OMG, I had to rotate the plug 180°" does not merit 846 words.

Re: Flamebait

On the 'top' of almost every connector that goes into a computer is a raised logo or marking.

On a USB cable, it is usually the USB logo.

On a PS/2 cable, it is usually a raised line.

On a SPDIF cable, it is usually a raised line.

On a RJ-45, it is the cable release lever.

On a eSATA, it is the cable release lever.

This goes in facing UP.

Pay attention now, this is where it gets crazy. Plug in the cable so that the bit that is supposed to face UP does in fact face UP.

Mental. I can see how you get it so wrong so frequently.

It does get trickier if you are plugging into an extension card or onto a motherboard attached port in a tower case (or any case where the motherboard is not orientated flat and the right way up). For the motherboard, re-orientate the case (in your mind, put the computer down) so that it is pointing UP and plug the cable in so that it is pointing UP. This is advanced stuff now, so take a break if you haven't got it yet.

For expansion cards, UP is a different direction. Expansion cards have a front and a back. The front is the side that faces away from the CPU. This is UP. Plug the cable in so that UP is UP.

obviously from the same school of design as SCART connectors...

At least USB slots are often on the front of a device where you can see what you are doing. As a previous owner of Peugeot/Citroen cars I was less than surprised to find out that the SCART standard originated from France: a good idea but the implementation fell somewhat short :-) I've lost count of the number of times I have had to scrabble blind at the rear of a TV or video/dvd player, trying to find the tiny sweet spot on a flush mounted SCART socket, where it will actually accept the plug. The alternative being to spend ages disentangling the rat's nest of tv/video/console/satellite/set top box wiring to haul out the offending unit for a better view