Toothy Ovaries and Alchemist on Kilimanjaro

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Bum a lift back to where I belong?

The weather outside is frightful, but inside, the ER is delightful, which may explain why everyone seems to want to come to the ER when it’s sh*t outside. Crap weather usually dissuades the lazier, less motivated un-sick to brave the elements just to see yours truly. But yesterday’s crowd was apparently bred from a heartier stock of patients. Aside from the usual colds and nosebleeds, saw a lady with belly pain who had teeth in her ovaries. Whether this may have been the cause of her pain was beside the point. The presence of dentition in her reproductive organs prompted the obligatory debate amongst the ER staff of whether those pearly whites represented her reabsorbed twin. This, of course, would mandate that she have TWICE the powers of an ordinary human.

Saw another couple because they were innocently enjoying a beverage at the local bar when the next thing they knew, he was being arrested, and she was getting a ride home from a friend. In a Hangover-esque type script, they had somehow ended up 40 miles away from the bar, him in cuffs, and her, bewildered about how they ended up there. Neither of them remembered a thing between the last drink and the Big House. They were looking to get tested for GHB or some kind of date-rape type drug. To my amazement, we actually have a date-rape drug panel. GHB, Rohypnol, Ketamine, among others. With 30cc of urine and a sizable chunk of coin, you can find out if that Roofie really was the culprit for last night’s amnestic shenanigans. Or maybe you were just really drunk. Again.

Mount Kilimanjaro downhill course

Jen and Stuart are currently in the early stages of their adventure up to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro. This is no ordinary trip though. They will taking bicycles up with them (well the porters will be taking them). They will then descend on two wheels back to base camp. Jenn is bringing an Alchemist softshell jacket with her to sport on the summit. We are rooting for you!