Missional Women

So, I think one of my most embarrassing moments was when I was on a walk on this great path along the river in Durango. Along the way there was this little cove of trees. I went behind them and was right on the edge of the water in this tiny cove with the trees behind me. I was at least 15 feet from the sidewalk. So, very aware that the people who happened to walk by on the sidewalk would not be able to hear me, I start singing to God. Singing is very personal to me. It is like my heart being worn on the outside. So, there I was singing my heart out and I had my hands raised standing by the river. Not worried because I knew no one on the sidewalk could hear me. Well, after about 3 songs I open my eyes and down river about 10 feet 2 rafts full of people had floated by!!!Right in front of me!Oh how embarrassing!!Seriously, they could not have been more than 8-10 feet from me. And they were completely silent! Probably totally freaked out. I mean what would you think if you saw some girl singing with her hands up on the side of the river with no one else around. So anyway, I was so angry at God. I was saying to Him. “Are you serious! Here I am bearing my heart to You, thinking it is an intimate moment just me and You and You expose me!!!”

Well, speaking of embarrassment. 2 Kings 6 is a story about being exposed. The prophets who are with Elisha are down by the Jordan river and are building a place to meet. Ok, so there they are cutting down trees. With borrowed axes (since they can’t afford it) and the top of the ax flings off the ax handle and plops into the river. The guy is totally freaked out. He has to cry out for help. Then the person he probably looks up to the most, Elisha asks where it fell. Elisha throws in a stick and the iron ax head began to float and they retrieved it. Cool. But seriously, how embarrassing to have to very clearly admit your mistake to the person you respect the most. Not beating around the bush or being general about it. But pointing it out very specifically. But God totally comes to the rescue in our mistakes and does a miracle.

Sometimes I am worried that God is going to embarrass me again. But why should I be? God will be my strength in my weakness. He will take my mistakes and turn it into an opportunity for me and others to know Him more. He will take my failure and use it to glorify Himself.

Oh Lord, please help me not be afraid to trust You in and with embarrassment. Help me be ok with failure. Help me trust You more than I protect myself. I know that Your plans for me are not to harm me but to give me hope.