Teaching IELTS Students.

IELTS Essay Correction: Fixed Age For Retirement.

Some people think that having a set age (e.g., 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is often argued that there should not be a fixed retirement age for every individual. Some peopleI strongly(If this is your opinion, do not use some people since this is an OPINION essay.) believe that certain employees should be retired early. I strongly agree with the above statement as some workers exert enormous physical efforts and contribute immensely to the profits of the company to deserve early retirement.who have contributed immensely to the company, and those who require extra physical efforts in their occupation.

Undoubtedly, certain workers contribute their entire life to make a company successful. These people not only work day and night but also have sacrificedsacrifice(parallelism with work) their personal lives,(no comma) so that the organization attains a remarkable position in the market. Therefore, at the time of their old age, (This does not mean early retirement. TR suffers.) companies should give them early retirement (early retirement at old age?) and pension, (Therefore, employees like construction workers, miners, and sweepers should retirement before 50 years of age so that ……) so that they can spend the rest of the time with their families without having to worryworrying about income source. For instance, Tesla announced early retirement for its five employees who have spent more than 20 years in the organization. (How are these five workers different from others. Note the remark in blue color I have made above.) For instance, Tesla recently announced that the company will retire the assembly line workers before the age of 55 since they make the greatest contribution to the company’s profits.

Moreover, employees working in certain labor-intensive sectors should benefit from early retirement. For instance, drivers should retire early. For driving an individual needs moresince it requires concentration at work, so. So, people who have crossed sixty might not be able to focus on theirthis job for a long time. The same rule applies to emergency rescue teams, air trafficking controller, and people involved in mining activities as it is dangerous for them to work due to life-threatening risks involved especially when their physical strength starts decreasing.

To conclude, there are certain occupations which involve physical stress. So, people working in these occupations should be provided with early retirement if they think they are not physically fit.