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The Atari Lynx is unquestionably one of the most innovative systems of all-time. The full-color portable was an absolute technological miracle, delivering gamers on-the-go polygonal graphics gaming 15 years before the Nintendo DS and PSP were capable of the same feat. Alas, the adoption rate remained far below that of the original Game Boy and even the Game Gear, meaning very few gamers ever owned the unit - that is, if they ever got their hands on the handheld at all. To mark the 28th anniversary of the pioneering portable, we here at The Internet Is In America are counting down EVERY single game in the pantheon of Lynx titles in a special three-part series examining the breadth of the unit's software library. Join us as we embark upon an epic quest to rank, review and rate all 75 official games released for the system, beginning with the suckiest of the suckiest and concluding with the absolute best the handheld had to offer (and trust me, there were some GREAT games on the platform - I mean really great.) Before we hop into the first installment, a few ground rules:- Only officially licensed Lynx games qualify. That means unlicensed games, games that never got a commercial release in the States or aftermarket homebrews are ineligible for consideration.- All games were rated on a scale from o to 10 and ranked accordingly. Factors taken into consideration included, but were not limited to, gameplay, controls, graphics, audio, level design, multiplayer integration, originality and replayability. - Of course I had to play the games using emulated .ROMS. You honestly think I'm going to spend all that money on physical copies of games that mostly suck dick anyway? - And lastly, your mileage may vary on the rankings and ratings. I tried to be as genre-neutral as I could, but some of my personal biases might sneak in every now and then. If you don't agree with the placements, feel free to make your own list and send me a link, so I can promptly never read it, you smug, self-centered prick.And with those pleasantries out of the way, who's ready to get this portable Conga line shaking? Make sure those AA batteries are in there snug, folks ... it's time to party like it's 1989!

#050

Hydra (1992)

Developer: NuFx

Publisher: Atari

No, Hydra doesn't have anything to do with Marvel's gang of Nazi sympathizers (are they still canonically Nazis at all these days, anyway?) Rather, it's a pretty mediocre racing game that has you traveling down a river collecting balloons(!) and blasting random robots, all the while keeping a keen eye out for any precious jugs of fuel just floating around. The visuals really can't compare to the arcade version, but at least the controls are (and please, pardon the pun) rather fluid. At the end of the day, Hydra isn't a bad game - indeed, it's quite playable and accessible to just about anybody who knows how to hold the damn portable correctly - but it's not really anything special either. It'll keep you occupied for an hour or two, but don't expect getting much - if any - replay value out of this one.My Score: 5 out of 10

#049

Viking Child (1991)

Developer: Imagitec Design

Publisher: Atari

Now here's an interesting one. Viking Child basically plays like a combination of Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, Bonk's Adventure AND the old Iron Sword games. Alright, that certainly piques your curiosity, right? Well, no matter how promising the concept sounds, rest assured Viking Child is bound to disappoint you. For starters, the graphics are pretty underwhelming and the animations are especially lackluster (indeed, you don't have a stabbing animation as much as you do your avatar just kind of flickering in place to kill enemies.) But what REALLY kills the game is the pace. Your character takes forever to move and buying items at shops takes minutes when it should only take a couple of seconds. On the plus side, though, it is one of the longer action-platformers on the system, taking a good two to three hours complete. Then again, that's not because it has two to three hours of content - it's because it has a half hour of gameplay that stretches OUT to two to three hours because EVERYTHING in the game moves at the speed 80-year-olds fuck. It may be worth a try for hardcore genre loyalists, but I think it's safe to say the rest of us can probably skip out on this 'un.My Score: 5 out of 10

#048

Zarlor Mercenary (1990)

Developer: Epyx

Publisher: Atari

There's definitely a dearth of SHMUPs on the Atari Lynx, but unfortunately, Zarlor Mercenary isn't exactly the sort of shoot 'em up experience we were looking for. While the game, for the most part, is a fairly solid shooter, it's also marred by a lot of bad design decisions. First and foremost, there is practically no wiggle room in the game, since your huge assed ship takes about so much pixel space and the game's levels are longer than they are wide. And since all of the stages are insanely cramped, and with a million jillion enemies coming at you at all times, that means death will be your constant companion. Making things worse is that the enemies are often the same color as the backdrops, so you honestly can't see half the things shooting at you until you bump your nose into their asses. Still, it's a game probably worth playing at least once if you are a genre fan - if absolutely nothing else, to experience the title's ambitious (read: absolute clusterfuck of a) four-player mode.My Score: 5 out of 10

#047

Pac-Land (1991)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

Admittedly, I've never been a big fan of Pac-Land, but you have to give the game a little bit of credit for its foresight. I mean, the game kinda' did foreshadow the emergence of endless runners a good 20 years before the iPhone existed, didn't it? Alas, you know what to expect here. You play Pac-Man, now with appendages and a hat, for some reason, as you run really fast across rocky mountains and spooky ghost houses and forests where all of the trees are blue to get back to Ms. Pac-Man and Baby Pac. The only problem is, you have to this 20 fucking times in a row, with only the mildest of variations between levels. I guess you could say it's kinda sorta like Adventure Island, except nowhere - I mean absolutely nowhere - close to being as fun. Still, the controls are mostly decent and with a good two hours worth of content, it will keep you occupied on a long car ride, I suppose. Y'know - just as long as you aren't the person driving the car, anyway.My Score: 5 out of 10

#046

Paperboy (1990)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Tengen

The muddy visuals and warbled audio aside, this isn't a half bad port of the beloved arcade title. The controls are spot-on and the level design should be familiar to anyone who played the NES game. Pretty much all of the shit that made the coin-op so memorable - the old hag chasing after you with a rolling pin, especially - makes its way into this iteration in some manifestation, and all in all, I really can't complain too much about the overall package. The only thing that makes this an inferior port are the end-of-level obstacle courses, which are so shittily animated that it literally looks like you're doing BMX tricks on a giant turd loaf. And hey, where's the two-player mode, you fuckin' shmucks?My Score: 5 out of 10

#045

Tournament Cyberball (1991)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

I never could figure out what the appeal of all these "robo-sports" games are supposed to be. It's especially befuddling in the case of Tournament Cyberball, a title with an ALMOST decent football engine that probably could've been finessed into a far better pigskin simulator. The graphics are pretty blocky and the sound effects are below average, but the controls (although they do take forever to get accustom to) are fairly decent. The multiplayer component definitely gives the game more replayability, but the lack of customization options - in tandem with a relatively paltry playbook - hurts it in the long haul. Fun in short spurts, Cyberball doesn't offer much beyond instant gratification arcade action - which, depending on your perspective, is either the loftiest praise you could give it or the most acerbic condemnation. My Score: 5 out of 10

#044

Dracula: The Undead (1991)

Developer: AtariPublisher: Atari

This is easily the creepiest game on the Lynx, and there's no denying it's got some surprisingly effective atmosphere. The music is spooky without being too cartoony and the deliberately stilted gameplay pace definitely ratchets up the dread and tension. Alas, as great as the general ambiance may be, Dracula has some notable problems, beginning with the piss-colored graphics. Surely, the Lynx is capable of more defined sprites and a broader color pallet, so I have no clue what the hell is going on with the visuals in this one. Maybe they were trying to replicate night time and just made everything the same color as nougat? Eh, even if you can look beyond the subpar graphics, the gameplay itself is a bit too basic. Action junkies, do take note this is no Castlevania clone, it's a molasses slow adventure game that basically revolves around you opening drawers and chests for 30 minutes until the game just up and tells you "OK, you can kill Dracula now." That said, hearing Dracula's chip tune death screamsmight be reason enough to play it through to the very end, but take heed - once you beat it one time, there is virtually zero reason to give it another playthrough.

My Score: 5 out of 10

#043Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1991)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

Overall, I'd say Atari pretty much bungled the license here. The sprites are pretty good, the music is passable and the level design really isn't that bad. The problem, of course, is the gameplay. For starters, the hit detection is pretty crummy and you'll constantly find yourself backed into a corner with a bajillion enemies coming right at 'ya - and naturally, you're totally defenseless throughout the whole ordeal. Alas, what really sinks the game is just how frequently the same StarTropics-esque "appearing-disappearing-reappearing" block puzzle is (over)used throughout the game - hell, that probably takes up half of your playing time, and I'm not being hyperbolic for once. Still, it's one of the longer games on the system, and as far as top-down action-adventure games on the platform go, it's probably one of the less sucky. And as ho-hum as it may be, it's nonetheless better than the Bill and Ted game we got on the NES ... and by a considerable margin, at that.

My Score: 5 out of 10

#042Batman Returns (1992)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

First, the good. The graphics in this one are great, complete with some huge and impressively detailed sprites. Secondly, the audio is really solid, with some of the best music to ever grace the short-lived handheld. Now, as for the bad? Well, that's pretty much everything else, ranging from the unresponsive controls, the monotonous gameplay, the absolutely pathetic hit detection (seriously, it's *yay* close to being totally broken) and oh yeah, the fact you can beat the whole thing in less than 20 minutes. Considering how popular the Batman license was back in the day, it's certainly understandable why Atari, at one point, included this title as the Lynx's pack-in game. Then again, if that was most consumers' introductory experience with the hardware, is it really any surprise the system wound up tanking worse than Oswald Cobblepot's mayoral bid?

My Score: 5 out of 10

#041Pinball Jam (1992)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

With Pinball Jam, you get not one BUT two video pinball tables to fiddle faddle around with, both of which are adaptations of two of the most beloved physical boards of the late 1980s: Elvira and the Party Monsters AND Police Force! The only problem is, a LOT is lost in the translation from the arcade to the Lynx, beginning with the muddy (if not indecipherable) graphics. So basically, the entire game is like trying to play pinball over a crappy MS Paint portrait made by a dyslexic fourth grader - a lot of times, you can't even tell where the ball is supposed to be, or whether an object onscreen is part of the playing field (like a bumper or rail) or just a part of the backboard artwork. Still, if you don't mind squinting really, really hard, you'll probably be able to squeeze out at least an hour or so of entertainment. And if nothing else, it's probably worth checking out just to hear the awesome chiptune music, especially on the Elvira table.

My Score: 5 out of 10

#040Dinolympics (1992)

Developer: Imagitec Design

Publisher: Atari

Judging from the cover artwork - not to mention the fucking title Dinolympics - you might be inclined to think the game is just a ripoff of Caveman Games. As it turns out, the game is really more of a puzzler-platformer hybrid, basically what you would get if you merged Lemmings with all of those damn Dizzy games from the U.K (it would later get ported to the SNES and Genesis under the title The Humans, if the core concept of the game seems strangely familiar to you.) The gameplay itself isn't too challenging, and once you've figured out the lay of the land and how the quasi-clunky controls work, there's not much of a learning curve at all. All in all, you get a pretty hefty amount of content, but once you've already beaten the game there isn't much of an incentive for replaying it. Another pretty big bummer? The lack of any multiplayer modes whatsoever. All that said, it's still a perfectly fine game that'll keep you occupied for short spurts - just don't expect anything more than something that'll keep you entertained on a car trip and this one will likely service you just dandy.

My Score: 6 out of 10

#039Desert Strike (1993)

Developer: Electronic Arts

Publisher: Telegames

I was never the biggest fan of EA's Strike series, but this is nonetheless a solid, shrunken down port of its 16-bit big brother. The controls are pretty good and the top-down strafin'-slinkin'-and-shootin' action is most certainly serviceable. Of course, the sound design is ho-hum (there's no in-game music, for one) and the graphics are usually pretty blocky and undefined. Furthermore, there isn't a whole lot of aesthetic variance from stage to stage, with most of the levels recycled, albeit with different colored sand. Still, it gives you plenty of content (three to five hours, depending on how quickly you nail down the control scheme) and the core gameplay - time to blow up Saddam's Iraq again! - is inherently satisfying and addictive. That said, is it worth the $300-plus asking price it demands on the collector's market nowadays? Eh - unless you've got Scrooge McDuck or Richie Rich money, I'd err on the side of nope.

My Score: 6 out of 10

#038Gordo 106: The Mutated Lab Monkey (1993)

Developer: Tenth Planet

Publisher: Atari

There were a ton of side-scrollers on the Lynx, and while hardly any of them got anywhere close to Mario or Sonic in terms of quality, that's not to say that at least a few titles didn't put in a surprisingly decent showing. Enter Gordo 106, a shockingly competent platformer in which you play a simian crusader who prowls across multiple laboratories on a quest to free his test animal kindred. The graphics are bright and vibrant, the audio is pretty good, the sprites are impressively detailed and the controls are smooth and comfortable. The level layout isn't too bad either, although towards the end of the game it looks like the designers got lazy and started repeating patterns. It's a bit too short and easy to warrant much of a recommendation (even novice players will probably beat it in less than half an hour), but for what it is, it isn't too shabby. That, and it's probably as close as we'll ever get to a Dunston Checks In video game, so soak it up, kids...

My Score: 6 out of 10

#037Raiden (1997)

Developer: Seibu Kaihatsu

Publisher: Telegames

Wait a minute, didn't I say I wasn't going to review any unlicensed games? Well, quit your bitchin', I've got an explanation for this one. You see, this port of the arcade SHMUP staple was originally developed by Atari and was scheduled for an official release on the Lynx, but shortly before the game was to hit the market Atari suspended support of the platform. That means the game was fundamentally finished as a complete retail product in 1995, but it didn't get a retail release until two years later when the Lynx was deader than Elvis (and even then, it was in obscure Asian markets, where for whatever reason, the handheld remained en vogue until damn near 9/11.) So it would've been an official Lynx release during its initial hardware run, therefore it qualifies for the countdown, dab-nabbit (also, the fact I couldn't find a playable ROM of Baseball Heroeswould've made this a Top 74 countdown, and really, who's going to take that shit seriously?) Anyhoo, it's an alright port, I suppose, even if the enemy projectiles look like cheese balls and you have to turn your machine upside down and play it all retarded-style. It doesn't hold a candle to the best genre offerings on the Game Gear (or even the Game Boy, for that matter), but it's still the best classic SHMUP on the system. Hell, for that matter, I think it might just be the only classic SHMUP, now that I think about it a little...

My Score: 6 out of 10

#036Rampage (1990)

Developer: Bally Manufacturing Corp.

Publisher: Atari

To me, the Rampage games have always been vastly overrated, and I suppose this handheld port is no different. Of course, that's not to say it's a bad game, per se, just extremely repetitive. That said, it does a pretty good job doing all the stuff it does over and over again, and in terms of presentation, everything is quite nice. The graphics are great, the sprites and animations are very good, the sound design is fantastic and a good goddamn, not only does it allow up to three players to wreak havoc all over America, it even includes an all new fourth character to the Rampage cosmos, a giant rat named Larry! OK, so maybe none of that sounds particularly life-changing, but it's nonetheless one of the better ports of the original arcade game out there - and Lord knows, it's vastly superior to the NES game, and it ain't even close, Bud.

My Score: 6 out of 10

#035Turbo Sub (1991)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

Now here's a novel little shooter - one that allows you to do battle in the air a'la After Burner AND blast the shit out of underwater baddies a'la In The Hunt! Naturally, Turbo Sub isn't as good as either of those comparison points, but it's still a pretty enjoyable game with good graphics, decent sound design and largely spot-on controls. The problem - and while it's not a deal breaker, it's nonetheless something that hurts Turbo Sub a great deal - is that it's just too damn easy and way too damn short. You'd be lucky to wring 30 minutes of total gameplay time out of the experience, and of course, there are no hidden secrets or unlockables included to incentivize you to churn your way through the game a second time. On top of that, the two-player mode is a big disappointment, too. Tis a pity, 'cause with about half an hour of more content (and a little bit more challenge) this really could've been one of the better action titles to come out on the system.

My Score: 6 out of 10

#034Checkered Flag (1991)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

Checkered Flag is basically just a souped up version of Pole Position, but it's not like that's necessarily a bad thing. In fact, this is a very solid arcade racer with great graphics and some outstanding audio (it's an autistic thing to notice, but trust me, this game has far and away the best transmission sounds of any racer on the Lynx.) The backgrounds are diverse and well-animated, and the courses themselves are pretty well designed, too. That said, the multiplayer mode is lacking and there just aren't enough customization options to keep any serious virtual gear-head invested in the game for maybe one or two playthroughs. Quibbles over the lack of content aside, for what it's worth Checkered Flag is still a fun and competent arcade racer, and probably worth checking out if you're a hardcore enough genre fan - even if the constant hairpin turn crashes are liable to make you toss your portable through the nearest window...

My Score: 6 out of 10

#033California Games (1989)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Epyx

If you ever played California Games on the Master System, NES or Genesis you already know what to expect here. All in all it's a pretty bang-up port that sacrifices very, very little in the translation to the small screen. And, in a weird way, that's the game's biggest problem - it doesn't remedy any of the major issues that plagued its home console forerunners. Simply put, the controls on the half-pipe and surfing mini-games are *yay* close to being totally broken, and the set-up here might be even worse than it is on the Master System and NES. That said, it still leaves two ridiculously fun mini-games, the BMX challenge (which, for its time, boasted some pretty impressive in-game physics) and the infamous hackey sack time-waster, which in addition to being one of the most preposterously addictive sub-games ever, apparently inspired the freestyle, trick-based game mechanics later employed by extreme sports titans like Tony Hawk. Throw in the four-person multiplayer and you have all the makings of a surprisingly enjoyable party game - pending, of course, you steer very, very clear of half the title's mini-games.

My Score: 6 out of 10

#032NFL Football (1990)

Developer: BlueSky Software

Publisher: Atari

Would you believe this is the oldest living ancestor of NFL 2K? That's right, this was the first football game released by BlueSky Software, the developer that would go on to to make the Joe Montana series of pigskin titles on the Genesis. With that in mind, the gameplay does feel very similar to what we got on the Genny (right down to the camera zooming in on the players while running the ball!), albeit with considerably fewer playbook options. The engine definitely takes a while to get accustom to, but if you've ever played a game or two of Electronic Football you should have no problem getting the fundamentals down ... eventually. You get the full NFL license, but no real-world NFL players made the cut. Those of you anticipating Tecmo Super Bowl-caliber gameplay options are going to be sorely disappointed, as you have only a handful of game modes to tinker around with and there's no stat-tracking whatsoever. It's not quite the Madden-eqsue experience we were hoping for, but if you're a fan of very slow-paced arcade football action, you can probably make do with it; alas, if you're not a hardcore pro football enthusiast, don't expect this game to convert you ...

My Score: 6 out of 10

#031Lemmings (1993)

Developer: DMA Design

Publisher: Psygnosis Limited

Next to Tetris, Lemmings HAS to be the most ported game of all-time. Practically every console you can think of wound up getting some kind of iteration of the game, and the version for the Lynx is - beyond the obvious graphical downgrade - a fairly respectable representation of the Amiga-spawned puzzler. It's your job to resourcefully use a small cache of tools and weapons to lead your green-haired, coveralls-clad wanderers to the promised land, and you're going to need all the grey matter you can muster to keep these brain-dead dodos from ambling off cliffs and splattering all over the rocky terrain below. To the best of my knowledge, it doesn't add anything new in terms of extra levels or content, but it does give you an absolute TON of stages - enough to easily fill up six or seven hours. The lack of a multiplayer component hurts it, but as long as you have a penchant for fairly repetitive, slow-paced puzzling action, you'll probably dig the ever-loving hell out of it. That, and man, is it fun watching those little fucks explode - no wonder the guys who designed this one would later give birth to the Grand Theft Auto franchise, no?

My Score: 6

#030Super Asteroids & Missile Command (1995)

Developer: Atari

Publisher: Atari

It's a two for one old-school arcade special with this cartridge, and if you're a hardcore fan of Golden Age gaming you won't have much to complain about here. These slightly upgraded iterations of the pioneering quarter-munchers are every bit as addictive and entertaining as they were in the early 1980s, but why oh why is there no multiplayer mode? I guess you don't need me to tell you the games are extremely basic in theory and execution and fairly repetitive, so if that kind of thing kills your portable boner, you're probably not going to get much out of this 'un. Old-timers, though, will certainly get more out of the experience than the whipper-snappers, so don't be surprised if you find yourself blasting away all those Ruskie missiles and space rocks for far longer than you anticipated. And if absolutely nothing else, it's certainly a historic game, being the last official title released for the Lynx and all ...

My Score: 6 out of 10

#029Ninja Gaiden (1991)

Developer: Tecmo, Ltd.

Publisher: Atari

Don't let the title fool you - even though this has the same name as the NES action classic we all know and love (and was indeed developed by the same people), this is not the same title. Rather, this is actually more of a Double Dragon clone than anything else, with all of the swordplay and shuriken-throwing replaced by close-range karate kicks and fancy backflips. While the graphics are great and the levels are gorgeous to behold, there are definitely some major gameplay problems, beginning with some very wonky hit detection issues. Secondly, the bad guys have a tendency to bum rush you and it is goddamn impossible to shake them off. And thirdly? The game is over and done with in about 20 minutes. Still, it's probably worth playing at least once to experience the very uneasy Shinobi-meets-Bad Dudes gameplay yourself, and let's not discount all of those unauthorized cameos, neither: name one other game on the Lynx where you get to battle an armada of Road Warriors cosplayers?

My Score: 6 out of 10

#028Qix (1991)

Developer: Taito

Publisher: Telegames

Yeah, I strongly prefer Volfied, too, but its earlier arcade predecessor ain't too shabby either. Insanely rudimentary visuals aside, this portable port of Qix does a pretty serviceable job of replicating the coin-op experience, with extremely fluid controls and strangely addictive gameplay (you wouldn't think avoiding killer tiddlywinks while drawing random-ass geometric shapes would be such an engrossing experience, but it looks like the mad geniuses at Taito know better than all of us.) It has a two-player mode, but unfortunately it's about as bare-bones a multiplayer experience as they could've made it, and while the single player mode is fun, it just doesn't have enough variety or longevity to warrant too many pick ups. Still, despite its shortcomings, it's an instantly, immediately accessible genre-unto-itself offering that will give you maybe a couple of hours of instant gratification amusement. And hot Christ, does it beat the ever-loving dogshit out of that abortion of a port Game Boy owners got...

My Score: 6 out of 10

#027Ms. Pac-Man (1990)

Developer: General Computer Corp.

Publisher: Atari

You know exactly what you're going to get with any Ms. Pac-Man port, and in a way, that's both the strongest and weakest aspect of the Lynx iteration. On the pro side, the game has very good controls, and the visuals - while obviously downgraded - are still bright, colorful and generally well-defined. I'm not quite sure how many levels are included, but in my playthrough I made it all the way up to the 12th or so stage, and even that constitutes a pretty hefty amount of gameplay time (a good 40 minutes, at the least.) On the other hand (you know, the bad one), the game's audio is pretty weak and there are no bells or whistles to speak of when it comes to bonus content or presentation. On the whole it's a rather decent port of the all-time arcade classic, but it nonetheless leaves you wanting more bang for your buck. And while we're riding this game's ass, what in the hell is up with those cutscenes featuring Ms. Pac-Man driving those little ghost motherfuckers around in a school bus? That's like, not even close to being canon and shit, I think.

My Score: 6 out of 10

#026Battle Wheels (1993)

Developer: Beyond Games

Publisher: Atari

Years before Twisted Metal (well, actually, just two of them), this little handheld wonder brought hot and heavy vehicular combat to all five people who were still buying Lynx software in the year of our Lord 1993. Graphically, this is a downright stellar game, with impressive animations, sprites and projectile effects. Furthermore, the shooting-and-driving action is really well-done, with smooth controls, an excellent targeting system and extremely satisfying (albeit simplistic) demolition derby gameplay. The audio design, however, is a bit subpar and while the multiplayer mode is fun (up to six players can duke it out in death matches!), the solo affair is very repetitive, with virtually indistinguishable levels, dumb-as-dirt enemies that'll just let you shoot the shit out of them while they sit there stuck in first gear and a "story mode" that offers you only nominal options to soup up your ride. With a bit more polish and a one-player mode campaign that wasn't a glorified exhibition mode, this could have been one of the best titles on the handheld - alas, as is, it still isn't that bad, and is probably worth checking out if, by some great accident of the universe, you actually own multiple Lynxes, the corresponding cable connectors and know people in the current year whose idea of a good time is playing early 1990s handheld games competitively.

My Score: 6 out of 10

And that's all we've got for this installment of the countdown, kids. Hang in there and revisit the site in just a couple of days for the final installment in this epic, ultra-comprehensive look back on the Lynx ... trust me, we're about to get knee-deep into some truly outstanding stuff.

HEY! In the mood for more extensive, system-specific countdown spectaculars? Check out some of our previous "best-of" features below!

About Your Friendly Neighborhood Jimbo...

Greetings, Intraweb travelers! My name is Jimbo X (an unusual surname, I know...I think it's Greenlandic) and I'm your kindly proprietor of IIIA. You're probably wondering what the intent of this site is, so that makes two of us. I suppose it's an info-dump for all of the stuff that I find fascinating/irksome about American culture and society, so you'll find a nice jumble of high culture snobbery and low culture sleaze here. It's also a place for me to rant, rave and ramble about all sorts of things that matter and don't matter, so prepare yourself for some heavy-handed bloviating about politics and consumption. Well, that, and lots of stuff about video games and junk food. The things that matter the most obviously.