A little bit of mystery can go a long way when building your reputation. By adjusting how you talk and act in public, you can wrap yourself in an air of secrecy that will make you seem more interesting, exciting, and attractive to the people around you.

Speak minimally about yourself. If you’re outgoing and friendly, you might feel inclined to tell everyone your life story. However, mysterious people aren’t open books. Try to minimize the amount of things you disclose about yourself, and when you’re asked personal questions, answer them, but just with a few vague words.[1]

For example, if someone asks you about a recent breakup you went through, you might say something like, “It just didn’t work out.” This is an acceptable response, but doesn’t reveal anything private about you.

Think before you speak. This goes hand in hand with speaking minimally. Instead of saying every little thing that pops into your head, think about why you want to say what you’re thinking and only verbalize it when you need to. This will give you an air of mystery.[2]

Listen more to others. Those who are mysterious often observe others more than they steal the spotlight. Focus on taking in your surroundings, listening to what others say, and fading into the background a bit. Not only will this make you more mysterious, but it’ll also make you a better conversationalist.[3]

Self-edit your social media posts. When you’re really excited or upset about something, think twice before you post it all over social media. To be mysterious, you have to limit how much you disclose about yourself in person and also online. Keep your activity on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat low key.[4]

For example, “like” others’ posts on Facebook from time to time and post an occasional photo with a brief caption.

Display confidence. Being cool and comfortable is necessary in giving off a mysterious vibe. Having an air of quiet confidence is intriguing to others, and can greatly contribute to your mysterious image because it proves that you know exactly who you are although others may not. Maintain good posture and keep your head held high so others immediately pick up on your confident attitude.[5]

Confidence and arrogance are different; don’t be rude and brag about how great you are to everyone.

Embrace your uniqueness. Those who are mysterious often march to the beat of their own drum, meaning they don’t just follow the crowd. Instead of wearing trendy clothes and participating in popular activities, rock your own style and embrace all things odd. This may make you appear complex and even difficult to understand to others.[6]

Do unpredictable things. Do things from time to time that others wouldn’t expect you to do. This will make people doubt their perception of who you are. Actions that are seemingly out of character may ignite curiosity in others and make them wonder who you are and what you’re really like.[7]

For example, if you normally never speak up in class, answer a question that the teacher asks one day with a thoughtful, intelligent answer.

Conceal your emotions. Mysterious people are hard to read. If you’re really expressive, others will know what you’re feeling without you having to say a word. Be mindful of your facial expressions and try to keep them somewhat neutral so that people aren’t sure what you’re thinking and feeling.

For example, if you got into a big fight with your sibling or friend earlier in the day, act as if it’s just a normal, uneventful day. Avoid wearing a frown or crying in front of people you interact with throughout the day.

Be less present and available. The key to being mysterious is to keep yourself as private and unknown as possible. The easiest way to keep people from learning too much about you is to spend less time with them and talk to them less. Spend most of your free time alone and/or with people that know the real you so that you appear distant to others.[8]

Only let a few trusted people know the real you. Carefully choose a few different trustworthy people to completely open up to. Everyone needs at least a couple of people to be close to. Only express your fears, desires, and regrets to these people. When outsiders realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish they could be one of the special people you confide in.[9]

For example, consider only confiding completely in your mom and your best friend of 5 years.

Focus on your hobbies. Having multiple hobbies may make you seem more interesting and versatile to others. It may also add to your mysteriousness if it takes up a lot of free time that you would otherwise socialize during. Additionally, working on your hobbies can help you acquire a sense of pride and purpose that may help you develop a mysterious confidence.[10]

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Community Q&A

Definitely! The two go hand-in-hand. Keep your private, personal information to yourself. If others start assuming that there's more to you than what they know about you, then you'll become mysterious in their eyes.

To be mysterious via text, keep your responses short and sweet. If the person starts asking you really personal questions, you can end the conversation by sending something like, "Can't talk anymore right now. Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

How far into a relationship can I stop being mysterious? And how do I prevent ending up in the "friend zone" once in the relationship?

wikiHow Contributor

Community Answer

The best time to stop being mysterious would be when you've already built a good rapport with the individual. Possibly when he/she starts to try to get to know you more and spend more time with you, you can slowly open up then. There's not really a way to prevent being put in the friend zone, but to lessen those chances, don't open up too fast! Try to express yourself a little more, gradually, each time you talk.

Being mysterious should not equate to being rude and thoughtless about other people. While it's fine to make it clear that there are some topics you won't discuss, don't blatantly ignore people or brush off their questions.

To make yourself seem more mysterious, avoid mentioning personal details and think carefully before you say or post anything private. Mysterious people often march to the beat of their own drum, so don’t be afraid to wear strange clothes or participate in odd activities. While in public, try to keep a calm, cool demeanor even if you’re extremely happy or sad so nobody can guess what you’re really feeling. For tips on how to open up to certain people without ruining your mysterious image, scroll down!