I have not logged on to this blog for a VERY long time. I can see my last post was posted over TWO YEARS ago. The first thing that caught my eye as I logged on was the large ammount of comments. When I was approving non-spam comments I noticed the entries I have written in the past have upset some. All I have to say about it is; There’s something WRONG with YOU when you care enough to type a 20 + line comment to complain on a strangers point of view.

Can’t say I agree with my ol’ self. I’ve changed dramatically. Developed is probably the correct word. I was sad, angry, hurt, negative, depressive – so opposite me now adays! I was captured inside myself whilst today I fly free! But I gotta say that WOW I had some deep thoughts.

It is really a waste of time commenting the posts on this website and really a waste of time to read the posts so I decided to DELETE every post that felt way TOO off and bless you all with a link to my new better self. :-)

The good, the bad. To take the bad with the good, the good things often weigh out the bad things. If we do not give it more recognition than we should. Is it depression to act the other way? What do we see, what do we fail to see. Is it in our emotions, the way of our emotions, that sometimes brings unpleasant things. Or is it soley a matter of the mind. Is it the soul. What is the soul? Does it think, does it feel, does it do anything? What is it?

“People you love, you treat them differently. You hold them to a much lower standard.”

The vague signals you send out keeps me alert. To me you are difficult to get a sense of. You don’t reveal much, you are quite a mystery. But I’m loving what I’m finding out. And out of selfish reasons I am glad that the message with you is not clear, because other women don’t get the chance to see how truly beautiful on the inside you are.

I’m in a bad mood. I mean a really bad mood. And the net gets me in an ever bader (mm) mood. Some are so STUPID! And why do some write “hugsss” in the end of a PM to ppl they don’t know! They wouldn’t say “hugs” to stranger they’ve said a few words to IRL and they sure wouldn’t give them a hug. And please do not give me an explanation to actually WHY they do so because it would make my mood even worse. I am not asking why! I don’t want a cyber hug or a real hug from any stranger. Act REAL with me pleeeaaaasssee. My cell phone just died and I needed to make a phone call on it. Gosh I will not even begin typing everything down that irritates me at this moment.

But one thing I will say. Those that doesn’t got a fucking clue about anything doesn’t need to say anything to me. I’m not up for games or play, not now and not even when I’m in a good mood.

I’m not often effected badly by others, but at this moment I am by people with a special belief. The neutral-go along ones that does not have the power to say “Hold It”. The laid back ones that could have a good point but decides to go with the flow because it’s convenient in one way or another. The ones that does not have any thoughts of the future and our offsprings. Those that only cares about here and now and their own satisfactions. That do not care what things could do to the people of the world. Those that does not understand that things will get worse because of people like them. That does nothing else but being neutral because they are too lazy for something else. Whos eyes are not awaken enough to see that they feed to the problems. Those with twisted needs which destroys other peoples lives, the selfish ones. If not neutral: The ones that are for the wrong things. Wrong things being what ever thing that is destructive. It may give yourself pleasure right now in this time, but it could also hurt others now at this time and you do not even think about that. Just as long as your own twisted needs gets fullfilled. Just as long as it feels good to you. Ofc I am speaking (writing) of buying and selling sex. Those that are not against buying that service ofcaurse. That, is what is getting to me atm.

To be real, I believe I drive every new person I meet off. I think I am that much different in behaviour than most and what they expect and/or are use to. Not saying that I act real freaky or odd, I just think I speak a different language. They don’t get the reaction from me that they are use to. I think I’m different because I have other priorities, so ofc my way of life (thinking) is what I present into my way of being. I think that they think that I’m weird, because I don’t fall under the category “normal”. Thinking further.. it’s not that I’m abrupt or cold but I don’t respond to that simple thing of small teasing with a giggle and a joke back as many expect cause I just don’t find that to be something I am interested in. Perhaps by not responding in that way they think of me as boring. But as I wrote, I just have other priorities. Guess it’s easy to say that I’m not an easy flirt, from somes points of views. I do not wish to change, I want to be who I am, I am comfortable this way. But I don’t want to drive 97% of strangers away either. Dead end perhaps.

Welcome

Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

She

A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

Additional Info

A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.