Saturday, July 21, 2007

If I were an AD&D character…

I don’t actually play AD&D for real, but my husband is, like, a level 42 Dungeon Master or something (HA! Dungeon masters don’t have levels – DORK!). So naturally, I just had to know. He says this is pretty close to true for me, except that he thinks my strength should be higher.

I think there should be a ‘stubborn’ stat, which would modify the other stats. For example, I have a strength of 7, but a stubborn of 28. And then you could, say, divide the stubborn by the strength and that’s the ‘effective’ strength. So I’d have a strength of 11 because I’m too darned stubborn to admit that I can’t possibly lift a hundred pound sack of something and lug it from the van into the house, up the stairs and up onto a closet shelf.

And if anybody is telling me so, I get a double bonus. Because nothing makes my stubborn act up like being told, “Honey, be sensible, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

Under those circumstances I think I should also get the bonus to my constitution, because while I do, in fact, hurt myself – I am too stubborn (and prideful) to admit it if someone has told me I shouldn’t do whatever fool thing I’m about to do because I’m going to hurt myself.

“What? No, my back doesn’t hurt! I’m fit as a fiddle! I’m fine! I don’t know why you get these wild-eyed notions about me…” {stomps off to go moan quietly in a closet somewhere…ooooooh, my BACK!} And of course, I then have to suck it up and walk it off and carry on as if my back didn’t hurt because I just said it didn’t hurt and after all – if you don’t end up stretched out in a helpless ball of messed-up-backness at the chiropractors office, doesn’t that mean you have a higher constitution?

(Guess what answer I had to this question: Have you ever convinced someone of something even though they know it to be wrong, logically?)