Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bacon Vodka

The number one food in the world is bacon. The second best food in the world is bacon as well, just if it is a small piece of it. I decided to give this delicious food a shot in the booze chamber, just to see if we can try and get our booze to be as delicious as bacon.

Step one, a pound of bacon. You don't have to use it all for the drink, you can use the rest of it just as it is.

Cut the bacon up. Make it so it fits in the jar better, so it can mingle with the vodka, and teach it the ways of awesome.

Fry it. Why would you try and do it raw? It's not perfect yet.

Watch it crisp up. Watch it for hours. Keep reloading the video. Watch this video instead of the Yule Time Log.

Bam. It's done. Delicious enough to eat. Not for today, it's for drinking. I recommend not making it too crispy because it will try it out. To each their own.

Ursus alcohol. Mixing bears with pigs. Have a problem with it? That's a problem you'll have to take to the grave.

Yes. Let it swim. Pigs like getting dirty, and a bear is more than ready to help him out. It's an epic fight to see who comes out on top.

Two days later, the fight is still going on. Not quite ready for consumption. Clearly this battle is going to last a week.

A week is up. Seems like we are going to have to go to the score cards. Let's take out the bacon and check out the damage.

Separated the contestants for now. Bacon looks a little limber for my liking. Tastes like it has lost most of the flavour. If you love your cats, and want to get them drunk, grind it up and give it to them. They'll still enjoy it, and it will put some hair on their chests.

The bacon currently is a 2/5 instead of 5/5.

We're not quite ready to drink the vodka yet. We need to get rid of the fat. It's done its job, and so we can toss it.

Took five different coffee filters to get the job done. That pig was a fatty for sure.

Here it is, nice and clean. It's all sexy up. It's a fine lady now. One you can take to your parents and tell them you're going to marry.

Can't just drink it by itself. No you don't need a chaser, or something to cut it. You need a whole damn meal.

And here it is up close. There is still a little bacon fat in there, but don't worry... It won't go to your hips. Drink it back. It's a 4/5 drink. It's well worth doing if you have the time. If you don't... Make time.