Follen Church mourns illustrator, mother

Meghan B. Kelly

Wednesday

Nov 26, 2008 at 12:01 AMNov 26, 2008 at 9:34 PM

Marylin Hafner's family and friends would have expected nothing less of the woman they remember as strong, passionate and intense. These memories and more were shared Sunday at a memorial service at Follen Church for Hafner, who died Oct. 31 at age 82.

When her husband, Harvey Cushman, died in 1965, Marylin Hafner cried for three years. She and Cushman had fallen in love after meeting at a party in New York in the late 1940s and married, despite the divorced Cushman’s 16 years on Hafner.

They spent a happy 17 years together, raising three daughters, first in New Canaan, Conn., and then in London, where Hafner attended the Silvermine School of Art.

Although Hafner was devastated after her husband’s death, she got her girls back to New Canaan, rented a house and got herself a full-time job as an art instructor.

Her family and friends would have expected nothing less of the woman they remember as strong, passionate and intense.

These memories and more were shared Sunday at a memorial service at Follen Church for Hafner, who died Oct. 31 at age 82.

Hafner was struck while crossing Massachusetts Avenue in front of Follen on Oct. 23, breaking almost every bone in her body, said Follen Rev. Lucinda Duncan. She died in the hospital eight days after the accident.

The State Police accident reconstruction team is still working to determine the cause of the accident and whether the driver involved should be charged, said Lexington Lt. Manuel Ferro. So far, they have ruled out alcohol as a factor, although Ferro said he could not comment on whether speed was the cause.

PDF: One of Hafner's cartoons

Hafner was a lifelong artist, illustrating more than 100 children’s books and creating personalized works of art for her family and friends. She also worked at McCall’s magazine as art director in the early 1950s.

She was probably best known for her comic strip “Molly and Emmett,” about a little girl and her orange tabby cat. The strip initially ran on the back cover of Lady Bug magazine and later on the back cover of Cricket magazine.

As a young woman, said Duncan, “Marylin was extremely beautiful, with an elegance, with a passionate love of all things artistic.”

Born in Erasmus Heights, Brooklyn, N.Y., Hafner was the youngest of four children. Her parents, especially her father, both encouraged her love of the arts, with her father setting aside a special place in the attic for Hafner to daydream and draw to her heart’s content.

Hafner earned a bachelor of science degree from the Pratt Institute in New York City and studied at the New School for Social Research.

Her lifestyle as a young married woman and mother was rather bohemian, said Duncan. Hafner’s daughters told Duncan they remember growing up with many Jewish, gay and black friends.

She married again in 1969 to painter Rudy de Reyna, but divorced him seven years later.

For the last 30 years, Hafner lived in Cambridge, devoting herself to her art as she had in the past. She had been an active member of Follen for the last eight years, brought there by friend and fellow artist Karen Watson Holton.

Follen became Hafner’s “home base,” said Duncan.

“She loved it here and we loved her,” she said. “We will miss her presence for a long time to come.”

Two of her daughters, Amanda and Jennifer Cushman, spoke tearfully and without notes to the audience about the mother they cherished so dearly. Her oldest daughter, Abby Newton, did not speak.

“I really miss my mom and I just want to be grateful for all the things she taught me, especially for her love of life, of art, of food,” said Amanda.

Her mother was intense and passionate, but also playful, said Jennifer. “She would leave me phone calls from the cat.”

Her nephew, Mark David Gottsegen, spoke fondly of his “Auntie M,” who nicknamed him “Neph.”

“She was a brilliant artist, a true star in the firmament of children’s literature,” he said.

Longtime friend Naiad Einsel, a classmate of Hafner’s from Pratt, told the audience of their time together as young women in New York City. They met in illustration class and Einsel was much taken in by the beautiful and glamorous Hafner.

Einsel, who commuted in every day from New Jersey, said she would listen to Hafner and her friends discuss classical music and would rush home every day to listen to the particular songs the other women had been discussing.

“When I came back to school the next day, I would nonchalantly whistle passages from those composers. I was a good whistler, and they were impressed,” said Einsel, to laughter from the audience.

Among the fond memories and reminiscing about Hafner’s life, one thing was clear: She was a woman who will not be easily forgotten.

The service, mostly planned out ahead of time by Hafner herself, ended with a benediction from Bengali poet Rabindranath Tagore, LXI from “The Gardener”:

“Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, / and say your last words in silence. / I bow to you and hold up my lamp / To light you on your way.”

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