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Monday, April 2, 2012

As Easter Sunday creeps closer, Gut Check dreams of baskets piled high with pastel-colored candies, chocolate shaped like baby animals and, oh sweet Jesus, Cadbury eggs. We remember well the ritual of sorting the bounty bestowed by the big, weird Easter Bunny: Would it be good stuff...or crap?

Want to avoid the inevitable disappointment of unsatisfying, subpar Easter candy? Check out our take on the 5 Best and Worst Easter Treats, which we'll trot out each day as the holiday approaches...

Worst Easter Candy Countdown, Point/Counterpoint: Cadbury Creme Eggs, Worst
Easter eggs are supposed to remind us of rebirth, the coming of spring, new life. Historically, Easter eggs were actual hard-boiled eggs, but then some genius decided that if a real egg was good, a chocolate egg was even better.

Gut Check has no problem with chocolate eggs. Chocolate eggs are awesome. Cadbury eggs, however, are not awesome. They're gross.

The Cadbury Egg not only looks like a real egg, but bite into it and you find a yellow and white fondant filling designed to look like a raw egg. Who eats a raw egg?

Worse, the white, viscous filling shimmers like snot or a certain other bodily secretion. That's taking the whole new-life metaphor a bit far.

A few years ago, Cadbury reduced the size of their eggs, but even so, the cloying candy can be hard to finish in one sitting. What to do with an opened Cadbury egg, with the sticky goo sliding down the side of the egg and onto your hand?

On the whole, Gut Check prefers to evade the entire goo-covered situation and just mainline the chocolate.