Kris Jenner Is Doing Fine

All right, so. Some updates on the whole Kris and Bruce Jenner split. First off, some boob from The Bachelor, name of Ben Flajnik, has had to announce publicly that he is not dating Kris Jenner, which is a weird statement to have to make. See, Kris posted some Instagram photos of the two together at Flajnik's winery. ("Where's the wine from?" "Flajnik Vineyards." "Y'know, I'm actually not drinking tonight?") But that doesn't mean they're smooshing. They're just friends, so cool your jets, Flajenner shippers. Also in Jenner news, Kris once again took to her Instagram last night and posted photos of herself with Bruce and his two sons Brody and Other One, just to make sure that everyone knows that everything's amicable, everything's fine. Everyone loves Kris Jenner. Except Ben Flajnik, of course. [Us Weekly; TMZ]

Are you sad that the whole Miley Cyrus controversy is dying down? Was it fun for you to talk about a Disney girl gone bad, gone rogue and sleazy? Well don't worry. Another former Disney teen queen, Selena Gomez, is doing some kind of sexy magazine shoot for some sort of magazine called Flaunt. Yeah, it's gonna be about 15 pages and she''ll be exploring her "growing strength as a woman pulled in countless directions." Uh oh, that sounds risque! Sure, Gomez has already shocked the world with the shocking Spring Breakers, but she was sort of the innocent in that. Now is her time to really sex it up and set tongues wagging. So, the cycle continues. Just think, in but a few years we'll have scandalous Willow Smith photo shoots and then, I dunno, Manny from Modern Family will do a spread for XY magazine if that still existed, and before we know it George Alexander Louis will be doing snuff films with Maceo-Robert Berry-Martinez. Everyone goes wild. Girls, boys, doesn't matter. In the future, everyone's wild. [Page Six]

Joe Scarborough, everyone's kind of annoying preppy cousin, makes $99,000 every week as main host of MSNBC's Morning Joe. That figure was revealed by TMZ which claims to have seen divorce papers, which were filed last year though we only just learned of the divorce recently. Of that roughly $400,000 per month, Scarborough pays $30,000 in alimony. As the couple's two children live with him, he doesn't pay child support. So that all sounds pretty reasonable, but then you read more about the terms of the divorce and it begins to seem like a more contentious affair. Scarborough's ex, Susan Waren, had to affirm in the papers that Scarborough was "faithful, devoted, and committed," and a clause was included that when the two are both in the Connecticut home where the kids live, neither is allowed in the other's bedroom unless there's some sort of emergency with the kids, and, more chillingly, after 7 o'clock at night, neither is allowed on the other's side of the house. Side of the house! Update: After we published this item, the attorneys for both sides of the case have pushed back against interpreting the clauses of the divorce agreement, drafted to take into account all sorts of contingencies, as a literal characterization of what goes on at the Scarborough home. That makes sense to us and we regret any suggestion otherwise. Attorneys Christine Whitehead and Barbara Aaron add, "As counsel for Joe and Susan Scarborough in their Collaborative divorce, and having each practiced matrimonial law for more than twenty-five years, we can say, unequivocally, that Joe and Susan handled their divorce as honorably and amicably as anyone could have hoped. They are a model for other divorcing parents in their singular commitment to the well-being of their children. While such situations are never simple, Susan and Joe have behaved in a fashion that should be the aspiration of others going through similar challenges. Joe is and will continue to be generous and supportive of Susan and their children. To suggest otherwise is sadly uninformed, misleading, and scurrilous. Contracts are drafted to cover extreme but remote situations, and, out of context, are easily misconstrued. Anyone suggesting that Joe and Susan have been anything other than cooperative and caring with and towards one another are ignorant of the reality." [TMZ]

Local man Woody Allen was at the Park Avenue Armory yesterday for an art show, and he was spotted staring at one particular photograph. Fittingly, it was the famous Harry Benson picture of Mia Farrow, then just 21 years old, walking into Truman Capote's 1966 Halloween party arm-in-arm with her old beau Frank Sinatra. Allen apparently stood there peering at it for some time, the theory being that he was thinking about Farrow's recent tease that Sinatra, and not Allen, might be her son Ronan's biological father. But really who knows what Allen was thinking when he gazed at that photo. Maybe he was just thinking about time. Maybe he was hungry. Maybe he was asleep standing up. The point is, we'll never know. We'll never really know. Maybe that mystery was all that Allen was looking at, or looking for, just then. [Page Six]

Snow White and Prince Charming from Once Upon a Time are engaged. In real life, not on the show. (Are they engaged on the show? Married? I don't even know. I guess they're married, aren't they. In the past, in the fantasy world. But not in the Storybrooke world? Is there a Storybrooke world anymore? Who even knows with that show anymore.) So I'm sure some sort of weird mix of shippers and fanfic-ers and whoever the hell else is lurking on Tumblr talking about that show (and believe me, they are there, in huge numbers — don't believe me? Write something not-so-nice about the show on some sort of public Internet forum and just wait...) that is freaking the freak out right now. It's a big deal in that world. A big, big deal. So, congratulations not just to the happy couple, but to everyone. [People]