We ordered a bio-mat. Yes, we wanted an IMRS mat, but the cost difference is too great at this point in our journey, so we got the bio mat instead. We ordered ours through Scott, the Better Health Guy and he has been very supportive through the ordering and delivery process.

Yesterday we all spent a little time on the mat sans lights. The teenager used it full on, lights and heat and everything.

Today, I did the same. He told me that he slept better than he has slept in years. Craving that experience, I decided to try it myself. I used it on the second lowest setting. Lots of negative ions generating. I was on it for well over 30 minutes. Very, very relaxing.

Loved it. We will see what tomorrow brings. I’m going to put the little guy on it. Hopefully it will mellow the little chatter box out.

I appreciate the frequency with which the NY Times has been covering Lyme Disease, but I wish that would do some more fact checking.

I love the tone of this blog post, written by Hope Reeves. — Yes! Take this seriously. But there’s so information missing that is critical if you want to keep your family safe, and to make sure those who get infected don’t have life long damage from these illnesses. Remember, I was undertreated. I passed lyme to my kids. My serious health issues didn’t debilitate me for 20 years. Know the facts and the theories if you or your family members get the “flu” this summer.

TREATMENT: It horrifies me when all the press that’s coming out this year talks about antibiotics treatment for 2 – 4 weeks for an adult or child. What kind of untrained doctor are these people seeing? Even my family practice doctor treats for a minimum of 6 weeks. Most docs who have any education at all in Lyme Disease will treat for 2 months past the last symptoms. TWO MONTHS.

RASHES: And, the whole rash issue just chaps my ass (pun intended). There are so few rashes. I had a rash that was diagnosed as an allergy to the nickel in my jeans. In 1986, it was a dermatological issue. Even though it was a bullseye.

LOCATION: The focus on the Northeast as primary might make people in other parts of the county feel like they are safe. Not true. I know whole families getting tick bites in Northern California, Florida and all of the country (and beyond).

TRANSMISSION TIME: We focus on Lyme, but we don’t know the transmission time for other tick borne illnesses, and if you are one of the few people these days who gets LYME only from a dirty tick, you should start playing the lottery, because it is VERY rare to have just that illness. And the most traditional doctors admit that Babesiosis needs at LEAST 6 weeks of treatment.

DEER aren’t the only ones to blame: We have to stop blaming the deer. Two of the most common transportation methods for deer ticks? Not the deer but birds and the white footed mouse. And we need more research into mosquitos as vectors. My son had a Bartonella re-infection that was thought to be from a mosquito. And let me remind you, you don’t want your kids to get Bartonella.

So, no matter where you live, even in an urban apartment, if you get ANY flu like symptoms in the summer, just assume it’s a tick borne illness and find a doctor that will treat you properly. Don’t trust that your family doctor has the education YOU need.

I hope the NY Times Motherlode blog and other high profile mama bloggers do some deeper digging so we can protect all kids better.

I have anxiety. I am a worrier. It isn’t coded into my genetics. It’s caused by infection, damage by infection, patterns, methylation, you name it. I wasn’t an anxious child. At least I don’t think I was.

But I am an anxious mother. And I hate playdates. My kid is being home schooled this year (or unschooled, really) and we’ve sort of avoided “friends” for the year. Not that he had a whole lot of play dates during the past three years of our healing journey, but certainly a few per year.

Today, we had his friend over. From 10:30 until 6:30. Or was it later? It was a long day while his dad went to pick up his big brother at college. This friend is smell neutral, which makes him really easy to have over. He is articulate, confident and solid. And his parents are terrific.

I kept the friend safe enough. Last time I forgot to tell a different friend to remove his socks if they were going to be running around. Several stitches later, I learned my lesson. So I was ready this time. Socks off. Warnings made. Anxiety on full blast.

I fed them. I watered them. I took them to the park. We went to the tennis courts. I let them play “pull the squid out of the water,” and all kinds of things that involved the possibility of joints out of place. I let them swing at the park so hard that I nearly barfed. Each time they leaned back at the same time they were flying forward my vertigo kicked in, waves of nausea rushed over me and I saw visions of the swing set flipping over. (Flashback to 1970 and my own childhood.)

But I did fine. They did fine. We survived it all. And none of us took tranquilizers.

It’s so hard with a kid like mine. He gets tired, and pretends he isn’t. He is so hungry for playtime with kids his age that he just won’t stop. He is in their faces, farting on them,arguing with them, bossing them around. My kid is irritating. And delightful. And fun. And intense. And hard. And hungry for friends.

The buddy didn’t want to watch a movie, but was really gracious when I told him that my little guy was really tired and needed to refuel. He was a good sport when all my kid wanted to do was “fight like men” with him, after the refueling. They beat the crap out of each other for hours. And I wish I were kidding.

I am exhausted. Not by the kids, but by my worry. And my sadness that my little guy doesn’t have more experience with this whole “play date” thing. But as long of he has me for a mother, I have to accept my limits. I live with narrow options right now, still. I am more well than I was three years ago. I was AT the park. That’s a big deal.

I don’t know what this narrow world means for him long term, but for now, it’s the way we need to roll.

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I’ve been studying methylation. The work of Amy Yasko is amazing, and really resonates me with me. I had a nutreval done for both the boys and I got very discouraged by the docs we were seeing. They just prescribe the nutrients that are missing or have low values for. But, this mama keeps pressing. WHY are they so low? This must be a more complex issue. Instead of it being a puzzle, it is more like a chess game.

But they discount me and send me home with an expensive pile of supplements that have folic acid and B6 and at least one kid gets toxic. When I call the doc to discuss, he tells me that folic acid is water soluable and isn’t a problem, even if the body can’t use it. Ben Lynch, who studies and works with methylation believes differently. So, once again, I feel rudder-less.

I’ve found some lovely folks to study with. We are going through Amy Yasko’s books, chapter by chapter. I am overwhelmed.

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Life is full. Very full. I could be blogging about tonsils, possible surgery, the search for alternatives. I could be blogging about treating with photons, with nosodes of lyme, blood, urine, saliva and candida. I could be blogging about the … Continue reading →

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Quotes That Help To Fuel My Life

"The writer's job is to turn the unspeakable into words - not just any words, but, if you can, into rhythm and blues."
— Anne Lamott

"We write to expose the unexposed. Most human beings are dedicated to keeping that one door shut. But the writer's job is to see what's behind it, to see the bleak unspeakable stuff, and to turn the unspeakable into words - not just into any words but if we can, into rhythm and blues. You can't do this without discovering your own true voice, and you can't find your true voice and peer behind the door and report honestly and clearly to us if your parents are reading over your shoulder."
— Anne Lamott

"What is important is the story. Because when we are all dust and teeth and kicked-up bits of skin - when we're dancing with our own skeletons - our words might be all that's left of us."
— Alexandra Fuller