Tuesday, May 13, 2014

MENTAL DECLUTTERING

I've started the slow and what I imagine to be a very long and drawn out process of packing and decluttering our life.
Yesterday morning I sat down and went through all of the boys' books. We have over 100 of them. I cut that number down to maybe half and put the rest in boxes not to be opened again until next year when Jeff is home and we are on to our next adventure with the military. It made me sad, knowing that my boys wouldn't be able to see some of these books for a while year, but at the same time, I know they won't even notice.
I have gone through each of the rooms in our home, categorizing items, mentally packing them to send to storage or to take with us to Arizona. I have selected items I am going to sell, going to donate.
It's weird, wrapping my head around this process of moving.
Moving away from my home state.
Moving with my family to move in with family, but also moving away from family.

It's odd.

I'm feeling so many emotions about everything. I have moments where my heart just aches knowing the time Jeff and I will spend apart, but then there are times when I am overjoyed at the thought of getting a year to just be with my parents and my boys. I have moments of clarity where I tell myself to stand up straight woman, it's only a year! Then I have moments where I am completely lost at the thought of not being in Montana.

On Mother's Day, with snow fluttering down from the sky (yes), I loaded up the boys and off we went to Great Falls. For just a little over an hour we drove by rolling hills and valleys stretching out to the base of towering mountains. Rushing streams and rivers, swollen from the winter melt seemed to race my car as we drove parallel along the road. Canyons encircled us, the clouds dangling so low from the sky you could touch them, shrouding rocky formations like a beautiful mystery.

My soul felt so content and at peace driving through this beauty that I was struck at how this won't be as accessible to me in a little over four months. It made me sad to know I would be away from my mountains, my home state full of such wonder and natural beauty.
But Montana will always be here (I mean unless Yellowstone implodes...but...whatever). It will always be my favorite place.
Montana will always be waiting for me, always welcoming me.
No matter where we go or what we do, Montana will always welcome us back with open arms. Enticing us back into her mountains.

So I made a pact to spend these next few months soaking in everything about my home state that I love. My family. My friends. My mountains. My rivers. My lakes. My cabins. My towns.
Because even though we will be leaving they will always be mine and a part of me will always be with them.

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