Things That Go Bump in the Night

First off thanks to all for the support on the job front. Yeah, I know it will be great for me and that I’m not taking the easy way out. I’m escaping a bad situation that some of my co-workers are too inexperienced to realize is as bad as it is. 14 days to go and I can’t get a straight answer on who I can train to run our ecommerce site – you know, the thing that makes us money? Anyhow….

I rarely remember my dreams. Over the past two months however, I seem to remember a lot of them. I don’t know why (can this be linked to whatever has caused me to now go 7 weeks without a period?) and I don’t know why the dreams are different from the ones I usually DO remember; the ones where I’m being chased (bad), or falling off a wall (good actually – not a death-fall and very nice freefall) or even sitting and talking to hubby or friends or family (which is the type of excitement that populates most of my dreams.

Last night I had a dream in which two things happened: (1) I found out that my recent foray into hennaing my hair turned it white-blond in the back (my hair is dark brown with red overtones) and no one told me and (2) I found out that I was pregnant. I went through my dream being amazed and just more than a little ticked off at the timing (upcoming work obligations, things that hubby and I are planning, finances, etc….). But I was actually shocked when I woke up to realize that no, I wasn’t pregnant (really, I’m not). And I was WAY more than a little ticked off at my subconscious for duping me this way.

I’d love to write that things are forging ahead with the adoption. But this is going to be a drawn-out process. Our first meeting (to follow up on the millions of emails) with our social worker is May 14th. The agency list is whittled down to two.

A. A very large, well-respected agency for whom Bulgaria is a relatively new country to work in (they used to work there to fairly disastrous results but this is years later and the offending staff members are no longer there). They’ve been responsive and helpful even though I’ve corrected them about a few details from my research. They’re the cheapest option by a very slight bit and the bulk of the payment is due in one lump sum after the referral. It’s great that it’s so late but at the same time, paying that all at once is frightening.

B. A smaller agency with very strong ties to Bulgaria and one of the agencies really at the forefront of US adoptions there. They’ve offered us a payment plan which splits their own fees up into 3 so that they’re spread out instead of due upfront. They’ve been responsive an helpful and you get the feeling they just want to make this work. I’m slightly worried because a lot of people seem to be using them and I wonder if there is the possibility of the pool being too full. One other plus though is that they’ve worked with our social worker before and say that she’s one of the best, which can’t hurt.

But until we’ve met with the social worker, I don’t want to sign on with an agency. I’m more frightened of the home study than I am of anything else in this process.

In other fronts, we’re trying to enjoy life here without worrying about cycling and shots, etc. We’re looking at buying a serious outdoor grill as our (rental) house has a huge and beautiful backyard and we intend to spend as much time as possible in it this summer.

I’m hoping that my new relaxing lifestyle, come May, even allows my sub-conscious to work out whatever lingering issues it has. Cause I really need a good night’s sleep.