Zarnow: The souls they save

Oct. 5, 2012

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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Ross Palfreyman poses at his Laguna Beach home. Palfreyman wrote the book "Two Years in God's Mormon Army" about his time as a Mormon missionary in Thailand from 1973-75. PAUL BERSEBACH, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Ross Palfreyman wrote the book "Two Years in God's Mormon Army" about his time as a Mormon missionary in Thailand from 1973-75. He hand wrote a journal during his time as a missionary and that was the basis for the book. PAUL BERSEBACH, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Ross Palfreyman sits in his office at his Laguna Beach home. Palfreyman wrote the book "Two Years in God's Mormon Army" about his time as a Mormon missionary in Thailand from 1973-75. PAUL BERSEBACH, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Ross Palfreyman reads some of his journal entries from his time as a Mormon missionary while in Thailand in 1973-75. Palfreyman wrote the book "Two Years in God's Mormon Army" that is based on his journal entries. PAUL BERSEBACH, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Ross Palfreyman poses at his Laguna Beach home. Palfreyman wrote the book "Two Years in God's Mormon Army" about his time as a Mormon missionary in Thailand from 1973-75.PAUL BERSEBACH, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Sending an American Mormon lad to Buddhist Thailand in 1973, into the backyard of the Vietnam War, doesn't sound promising if you measure success by souls converted.

But Ross Palfreyman, a Laguna Beach attorney, says to this day the impact of that mission upon on him remains profound. Years later, when his old daily journal fell from a shelf, tangled with his sweatshirt, he turned it into a book and chronicled his transformation.

Palfreyman's book, "Two Years in God's Mormon Army" (www.mormonarmy.net), offers as much information as inspiration. Today missionaries and Mormons are a hot topic due to Mitt Romney's presidential candidacy and a zany hit musical, "The Book of Mormon."

Palfreyman makes a strong point that two years of service to something other than one's self can be a very good thing.

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By design, our conversation was a theology-free zone.

Lots of folks come knocking at my door. If they're children from the neighborhood, I buy their candy or raffle tickets. But if they are strangers peddling magazines or a new religion, I'm not buying.

Palfreyman likens proselytizing to a business expanding its market share, noting that most religions at one time or another have prospected for converts. The Mormon church, 200 years young, is looking to grow.

At any one time there are 55,000 missionaries worldwide wearing white shirts, ties, and (apparently) special Mormon underwear helping to make that happen. About half of all 19-year-old Mormon men serve full-time missions. About 15 percent of women volunteer, serving at age 21.

Missionaries are cut off from family, only calling home on Mother's Day and Christmas and (now) emailing once a week. You pay the church $400 per month for your living expenses.

While I imagine it's tough going door to door – "tracting" they call it — I'm not sympathetic to the presumption that the religion you're offering should replace mine. Nevertheless, I found myself curious about what it's like to spend two years of your life trying to change minds.

He adds: "I was never taught that, by the way ... I think I had that kind of attitude when I went out."

His mission, he says, taught him tolerance.

"There are lots of wonderful people out here who are God's children who are not Mormons. I don't know that I am so much better than anybody else as I thought I was."

Missionaries learn: "There are lots of ways to get to God."

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He was a 19-year-old from Utah with one year of college and lots of basketball experience behind him.

"With no idea of who I really was," Palfreyman writes of the irony, "I was being asked to tell the Thai people that I knew the way."

He was, admittedly, no spiritual giant. But he did have a flip chart.

So what's the metric for success?

Palfreyman compares it to the profit margins at Ralphs (very low) versus Apple (very high). The goal at both is to make a profit, but it's not realistic to expect the margins to be equal.

Missionaries in Thailand average one baptism; Palfreyman's friend in Mexico performed 300. Christians offer more fertile ground than Buddhists. Those who are particularly receptive are called "golden contacts."

Here's another way to look at it:

Palfreyman was among about 50 missionaries serving Thailand. There were about 175 when he left. He has since returned to Thailand twice and found a new building and two full Mormon congregations in Udorn, where he once served.

Exotic Thailand suited Palfreyman's sense of adventure, although his mother was beside herself. He had avoided the draft only to end up next door to the war.

Every two months he had to renew his visa in Cambodia. As the Vietnam War wound down, refugees from Cambodia and Laos flooded Thailand. Many thought the missionaries were really CIA agents.

There's not a lot of political awareness in his book, but Palfreyman today has more self-awareness. He credits his mission with turning him from boy into man.

"You learn that you don't have all the answers ... You grow more confident in what you know .... But you don't know everything."

His book ends abruptly: Palfreyman hid in panic when he first spotted his family at LAX.

"It was harder for me to come home than to go out."

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After his return, Palfreyman worked for a year before returning to school. His sons, who have completed their missions, both read their Dad's book before they left.

John, 21, just back from two years in Mexico, notes that because you serve so young you have a lifetime to benefit from the experience.

Sam, 24, was in Singapore and Malaysia. He believes his mission left him more flexible in dealing with life.

"Right before I left, it was very inward and very focused on me," he recalls. "Every choice was so important and it affected me."

Now he sees his decisions in relation to how they touch others.

Sam isn't sure how to define the success of a mission.

"You always worry if you did enough. I came home feeling that ... what I had done was good... You did it, you were there, and you tried your best."

Palfreyman says Mormons haven't cornered the market on goodness. An extended foreign experience has value for almost anyone. It comes with slipping your moorings to live in a different culture, on a bare budget, helping others.

By the end, it wasn't about his exotic adventure; it was about the needs of other people.

"You learn their issues and problems," he notes. "You have to try to help them — and you love them."

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