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Nobel Laureate

The electoral president Donald J. Trump has just been awarded the highest, unexpected honor no one could have imagined; the Nobel prize for literature. He is being rewarded for his writings on the social media platform known as Twitter. Within the span of 140 characters he has managed to misinform the uneducated masses of America. Speaking his mind and letting everyone know how he is going to ruin the country before and after inauguration. As the electoral president, he has chosen an innovative way to bypass the lamestream media and go straight to the dittoheads.

The electoral president is now in the company of the greats of literature like George Bernard Shaw, Thomas Mann, Sinclair Lewis, and John Steinbeck. His concise, delicate tweets make the world take notice and ask how he can come up with this stuff. Only a mad genius can come up with the thoughts he sends out and announces to the world that he is an egomaniac who demands to be the center of attention. His dedication to getting his message out is evident by the fact that he is informing the public at 3 A.M. and likely has an insomnia issue. Such talent cannot be outmatched due to the sheer grandiosity of his vision to make America hate again.

The electoral president reminds us of our constitutional rights we take for granted by promising to violate them. He reminds us that the best way to drain a swamp is to fill it with ravenous crocodiles who eat out of the public trough. He demonstrates his skills by showing what a master hostage negotiator does by giving into the demands of economic terrorist. He uses Twitter to show how he is an expert player of the dozens, thus showing how a boss handles those beneath him. He combines the most admirable traits the worst presidents: the cronyism of George W. Bush, the blind eye to corruption of Warren G. Harding, the internecine nature of Benjamin Harrison, and the disregard of the law demonstrated by Richard Nixon.

With this selection of the Nobel prize to Donald J. Trump, we hope to become relevant again. We did not get the boost in attention we needed from giving the peace prize to a warmongers like Henry Kissinger and other leaders who have waged wars. In the spirit of the founder of the prize, Alfred Nobel, we decided to honor someone who likes to blow stuff up. No one represents the ethos of post-truth reality: where facts and opinion are indistinguishable from each other than, Donald J. Trump. The dignity of this award-and America- has just sunk to a new low.