I found Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia through a list of the best sci-fi and fantasy of 2015, as a result of the last book in the series having been released that year. The premise – a guy joins an international monster hunting business to kill creatures of the night – isn’t entirely unfamiliar to me. I’m a fan of those types of stories, provided they’re done well, or interestingly, at the very least. The fact that MHI was free to read via Kindle made it my first pick.

Honestly, I’m weirdly glad I stuck with this one. The writing is pretty bad, but it gets better by the end. It goes from “nigh unreadable” to acceptable pretty quickly. It also starts as somewhat self-masturbatory fan fiction, where the writer (an accountant who identifies as a bit of a gun nut, and who worked as a concealed carry instructor) is writing a story about his idealized self (300 lbs of mostly solid muscle, accountant who carries guns everywhere and is successful in all things but love, and is full of unrealized potential) killing his boss who is also a werewolf. The progression from this, to the character joining the titular organization is a little iffy, and a lot of the “prophecy” and “destiny” stuff is kinda trashy, but things get better a little later into the book.
There’s not really much for you in this if you’re looking for literature or literary devices. Even the whole “unrequited love/star-crossed lovers” thing is pretty shoddy, and is pretty transparent as a storyline. There’s also a weird, awkward, outputting lack of contractions. While there’s nothing grammatically wrong there, it makes the dialog seem pretty awkward at rimes.
Some storyboarding and research into the writing process would have done wonders for this book, but hindsight is 20/20, I guess. But, in the writers defense, this was his first book, and he’s an accountant, not a writer, so you can’t put too much fault on him for not being super literary.

Biggest criticism is the politics. While the political opinions expressed in MHI are very much contrary to my own, and while I take issue with them on a very deep, very personal level, that is not why I take issue with them in the context of this book. There’s are rants about the “nanny state” and the overreach of government. While I firmly believe that writers have every right to make a story about whatever they want, and they can put whatever politics they want into their work, the self identified libertarian main character is a huge turnoff for me, as is the completely un-nuanced approach used here. There is no discussion, dialog, or anything remotely related here. A character just kinda goes off about how government is bad every now and then, or says something iffy about personal liberties and gun ownership. It’s kinda like reading Ayn Rand, but less subtle, if that’s possible.
That all being said, I actually considered putting this book down, and not picking it back up for entirely ethical reasons. Libertarians are actively destructive to the society that I want to live in, and I don’t really want to give money to people who care enough about those beliefs to put them into their book.

The good – there’s potential, as far as the premise, story, and writing. And the story is self-contained, which is super nice. While there is some setup for a sequel, the story ends at the end of the book. You could finish this book, and skip all the subsequent iterations, and be perfectly satisfied with how things came out.

The story in itself wasn’t terrible. Not great, not awful. I somehow made it through Twilight, and this beat the hell out of that. In the end, I give Monster Hunter International a 3/5 stars. Relatively quick, easy read. Not particularly literary, but entertaining enough.

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/04/25/book-monster-hunter-international/feed/0wp-1461570201479.jpgdreujnkBook Twofer: Dreams and Shadows + Queen of the Dark Thingshttps://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/04/10/book-twofer-dreams-and-shadows-queen-of-the-dark-things/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/04/10/book-twofer-dreams-and-shadows-queen-of-the-dark-things/#commentsSun, 10 Apr 2016 17:41:00 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=743Looking back, I’m actually pretty dissatisfied with the write up I did of Dreams and Shadows – and I’m not a huge fan of the format I used for my old posts. So, I figured that in the event that I forget my book at home on any given work night, I’ll re-read some old stuff on my phone, and post about what I haven’t put up here yet.

I was a big fan of Dreams and Shadows by C. Robert Cargill, and a bigger fan (in a slightly different way) of Queen of the Dark Things (the sequel), and I’ve been wanting to write about the second novel. But, looking back, I feel like my original post didn’t do the first book justice, so I figured: why not do both?
So, here we go.

Dreams And Shadows (Take two)

I first bought this book on kindle quite a while ago – at the urging of Chris. It’s probably safe to assume, at this point, that if I’ve decided to post about a book on here, it’s because Chris got it for me, found it for me, or wanted to read it with me. There are a few notable exceptions, obviously, but this isn’t one of them.

So, what exactly is it about?Dreams and Shadows is split into two books – simply called Book One and Book Two. Book One tells the stories of Ewan – a young human boy who lives with the fairies in the Limestone Kingdom, Knocks – a changeling, and Colby – who meets a djinn one day while playing in the woods, and upon learning that not only are genies real, that so are fairies, pixies, etc, wishes to see everything. It’s pretty easy to see where this is going – as a result of his wish, Colby’s life becomes intertwined with those of Knocks and Ewan. Book Two picks up fifteen-ish years later.
There’s a lot more I could, and would like to say about the story, but I think I’ll leave it at that for now. While Book One is clearly all intended as setup for Book Two, it still is literally half the book, and I feel like the destination that you arrive at when you get there is worth the journey of reading it on your own.

When we first started reading Dreams and Shadows, I couldn’t get into it. The first few chapters read like a series of disjointed stories that take place in the same world, or have common themes. And while the stories seemed to be pretty cool, I just wasn’t feeling it. I put it down a bunch of times, but Chris kept on pestering me to give it more time. So, I did, and all I can say is that if you’re having the same trouble – if you can’t get past the first handful of chapters, keep trucking along. Just like with Perdido Street Station, it’s worth the effort involved to get going.

Dreams and Shadows is a “dark urban fantasy”, written by C. Robert Cargill, which in and of itself will tell you something about what you’re reading. Cargill co-wrote the screenplay for the movie “Sinister” – a gory supernatural horror film about a true-crime author who finds a series of snuff films, and starts investigating them – and that shows in this book. A number of the reviews I read made mention of how they thought the book was needlessly gory – which I get.

At a glance, Dreams and Shadows is a story about fairies, genies, and the little boys who live among them, and I believe this is what put so many readers off of this book. While it’s fairly apparent that the actual content of the book is somewhat sinister and dark, it starts off with a real bang. It doesn’t really pull any punches from the get-go. Many of the ugly, grotesque creatures are described in vivid detail, and all the terrible, bloody, violent ends that people meet are described fairly graphically. I can get why people may not have been expecting that from this book, and why it would be a little bit of a turn-off for some readers.

I have a few criticisms of this book – it reads like it was written by someone who works as a screenwriter. Which, as we know, it was. While I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, it’s something that shows. It’s sort of like if you’ve read American Gods by Neil Gaiman, where sometimes it reads like the early draft of a comic book, rather than a novel. If you read that, and that was something that bothered you, then this book may not be for you.
Another criticism I have is the treatment of women. There aren’t very many female characters in the book. The ones that do make an appearance are either parts of the background and just added to give color to the Limestone Kingdom, or exist to further the plot of a male lead character. It’s pretty “Women in Refrigerators”-ey, which is kind of a bummer. There is one obvious exception to this, a female character who is portrayed as powerful, and doesn’t exist just to be brutalized, add texture to an otherwise resoundingly male cast, or be protected by a man, but she’s problematic for a whole other variety of reasons.

Despite that small handful of issues, I was a big fan of this book before, and actually quite enjoyed it on my second read-through. I recommend it highly. While I would have liked to see it a little longer, apparently I’m a sadist, and didn’t mind the length of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Knorell.4/5.

Queen of the Dark Things

This one starts off pretty similarly to the first book, in that it starts off kind of dense – a little hard to get into, but then you get to Chapter 2, as a quick reference to what happened in the last book, and you meet Colby again in Chapter 3, at which point you’re back on familiar ground.

One of the biggest, most immediate differences between this book, and the first, is that you don’t spend the first half of the book following around childhood versions of all the characters. There is, of course, some flashing back to the previous adventures of Colby and Yashar, and excerpts from various books by the Dr. Thaddeus Ray appear. However, as a result of being a sequel, Queen of the Dark Things doesn’t need to spend as much time on world building, and establishing the main characters as was needed in Dreams and Shadows. As a result, the story is able to take a little more time. While I had no major complaints with the tone of Dreams and Shadows, it was very serious, very dark, and very sinister. Yeah, there were jokes here and there, but Queen of the Dark Things lets you see Colby be human, and see Yashar be human-ish. You get to see scenes where the characters are something besides brooding, drunk, or children.

But, what is Queen of the Dark Things about? Aside from being the further adventures of Colby and friends?

Six short months after the events of the first book, Colby is still reeling from everything that happened “that night”, when he finds himself at the mercy of a beautiful woman, who begs him to save her children from the spirit that’s started hanging around her home. Though this, Colby finds himself at the mercy of a pissed off “Genius Loci”, and a host of sinister spirits who need his help.

Much like in Dreams and Shadows, Queen of the Dark Things deals with themes of damnation, salvation, martyrdom, etc. Because the worldbuilding is already largely taken care of, more attention can be given to these themes, and the overall storytelling.

I liked QotDT better than Dreams and Shadows – I think the story, the writing, and characterization were all better – plus Colby has a dog, and dogs make everything better.

There’s so much I want to say about this book, but it’s hard to say anything without spoiling the end of the first one. But what I can say is this: if you liked Dreams and Shadows, Queen of the Dark Things is a definite must read.

The issues with women are handled way better – not great, but way less alarming. It also reads less like a screenplay turned novel, and more like a novel. There’s also some more subtlety and foreshadowing as well. If I were to give Dreams and Shadows a 4, I’d give Queen of the Dark Things a 5/5. Dang!

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/04/10/book-twofer-dreams-and-shadows-queen-of-the-dark-things/feed/2wp-1460291030154dreujnkDreams and ShadowsQueen of the Dark ThingsBook – Horns: A Novelhttps://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/book-horns-a-novel/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/book-horns-a-novel/#respondMon, 28 Mar 2016 07:47:10 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=298Note: I read Horns, by Joe Hill quite a while ago (about two, maybe two and a half years ago), but I just got around to checking in on my blog, and was surprised by the number of “Draft” entries, and even more surprised by the number of drafts that were completely blank, except for their title. Horns was one of them. I actually just got around to watching the movie pretty recently, which, in addition to finding this unfinished post, inspired me to read through the book all over again.

So, Horns is the story of Ignatius Perrish (Ig for short). I feel like the best way to introduce you to both Ig, as well as the book, is to let you read the first chapter right here.

Ignatius Martin Perrish spent the night drunk and doing terrible things. He woke the next morning with a headache, put his hands to his temples, and felt something unfamiliar, a pair of knobby pointed protuberances. He was so ill–wet-eyed and weak –he didn’t think anything of it at first, was too hungover for thinking or worry.
But when he was swaying above the toilet, he glanced at himself in the mirror over the sink and saw he had grown horns while he slept. He lurched in surprise, and for the second time in twelve hours he pissed on his feet.

-Horns: A Novel, by Joe Hill

I feel like this is a pretty good start to the book. I’m not usually a fan of extremely short chapters, and so when I first read this, it was a bit of a turnoff for me. But you turn the page, and see that the next chapter isn’t so short, which I was happy to see. This gives you a hint that while Ignatius has the name of some Gregorian Monk, that’s not the lifestyle he lives at all.
I also think it’s a good representative sample of the writing . The style changes significantly after this chapter – it becomes more specific, and more full – but still remains somewhat simplistic. I’m not saying that the writing is bad, because I don’t think it is. In fact, I think it’s fine – much better than the writing of “Heart Shaped Box”, an earlier novel by Joe Hill – but not any brilliant work of prose or anything. There are some writers who convey so much meaning, thought, emotion, and detail into a small handful of words, and I don’t think Joe Hill is one of those writers. That being said, I still found myself engrossed in the story, wondering what was going to happen next. I literally can think back, and rather than recalling the words on the page, I feel like I watched it happen (which is part of why watching the movie was so jarring for me at times).

So. The story.

It’s been almost a year since Merrin was killed, which means it’s been almost a year since Ig was arrested as a suspect in her”sex murder” (note, this is the actual phrase used, multiple times throughout the book). Even though Ig was declared innocent by a court of law, pretty much everyone still seems to think he did it. The notable exceptions are Glenna, Ig’s childhood friend/current girlfriend, a couple of cops who hate him for an entirely different set of reasons, and his brother Terry. After a night of heavy drinking with Glenna turned into a night of drunken angst, Ig ditches Glenna, and visits the site of Merrin’s murder. Enraged by the sight of the religious paraphernalia people have left there as a makeshift shrine, Ig pisses all over everything. When he wakes up the next morning, he finds that in addition to his hangover, he’s sporting a brand spankin’ new set of horns. While trying to figure out what exactly is going on with him, he discovers that he horns give him a few special abilities, which launches him on a quest for the truth behind Marron’s death, and most of all, for revenge.

While I found concept really cool, the story compelling, and the characters likable (for the most part), some of them weren’t particularly believable. Plus, so much of the story is centered around Christianity, church, crosses, and other religious imagery, that I was kinda… “over it” pretty early on. I also feel like some of the imagery of horns (like the devil) vs. horns (like a trumpet) imagery was a little too obvious. Like when Ig find his “mute”, it’s a good bit after him recalling a story that explains how mutes work with trumpets and what-not. The thing here, however, is that this little flashback ends with what amounts to “HEY, THIS IS FORSHADOWING OK?” Also, in line with that is the names. The main character is named Ignatius, he drives an AMC Gremlin, he lives in Gideon. There are more, but those are the first that come to mind. At first, it seemed kind of clever, but after a while, it just got a little tired.
There were also a couple of major plot points that I saw coming a long way off – which isn’t a bad thing. They were foreshadowed well, and (for the most part) well written events. It can just be a little frustrating, at times, waiting for the main character to catch up with the reader. Maybe it was just a case of some information being given a little too early, or maybe I’m just too sharp for my own good (doubtful), but it took me out of the moment a few times.

On the other hand, I can really identify with what Ig is going through, in a way. Early on in the book, people start suddenly, and without any hesitation, telling Ig their deepest and darkest secrets. This manifests painfully in some of the people closest to him telling him exactly how the feel about him in regards to, and as a result of what happened to Marron, and his involvement in the case. My heart literally broke for him when that happened. It brought back memories of what happened when I came out to my family and friends – how some people told me straight out what they thought of me and my lifestyle, and how some people didn’t have to say anything for me to know. But then there were other people who were there for me, through thick and thin, where it came out later that the nature of our relationship had changed. That they wouldn’t drink from the same cup as me for fear of getting AIDS (note: I don’t have HIV, or AIDS), or sleep in the same room as me for fear of getting groped, or otherwise molested. They still cared about me as a person, but their view of me changed. TL;DR – I’m sorry Ig. I feel ya, bro.

A few other things – the perspective occasionally breaks. Ig, rather than having the tone of Ig that we become pretty familiar with throughout the story, occasionally adopts a rather different, very writer-ly vocabulary and way of “thinking”. While pretty sparse and brief, these had the immediate effect of pulling me out of the story, and hen looking up just what it was Ig was talking about.

Then there were lines so weird, off the wall, and cheesy that I literally stopped reading, and shook my head in shame. Like these:

He ate them all, stuffing them into his mouth with his fingers, one after the other. He was sure they were 666 times better than the boiled eggs he’d been making for himself at Glenna’s.

His teeth banged together like a clapboard: Scene 666, take one, action!

There are a few other shitty devil/666/whatever jokes in there, but I apparently dumped my bookmarks all over my backpack a few days ago. Womp womp.

Despite all of it’s shortcomings, I thought Horns was a good read. Hell, I read it again, and saw the movie. I give it 4/5 stars.

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/book-horns-a-novel/feed/0horns5-copy.jpgdreujnkhorns5-copy.jpgBook: The Girl with All the Giftshttps://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/03/08/book-the-girl-with-all-the-gifts/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/03/08/book-the-girl-with-all-the-gifts/#respondTue, 08 Mar 2016 06:05:19 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=576

It’s hard to go to any bookstore without seeing a copy of The Girl with All the Gifts by M.R. Carey displayed prominently. While people always seem to be gushing about how good, and how well written it is, it’s hard to find much out about the book. There’s a good reason for this though – so much of this book is about the reveal, straight from the beginning. It’s hard to talk about what the book itself is about without feeling like you’re ruining something for people who haven’t read it. So, in order to give potential readers an idea of whether they may or may not want to read it, lets talk a little about some other stuff first.

M.R. Carey is the pen name for Mike Carey, who is an author who’s written a handful of novels, and has done work on tons of comics and graphic novels. So far, I haven’t actually read anything that he’s written besides TGwAtG – though I am familiar with several of the titles he’s worked on.
He worked on a few stories for the Sandman comics, as well as the graphic novelization of “Neverwhere” by Neil Gaiman.He did extensive work on Hellblazer (the series that the film Constantine was based off of), and Lucifer. He also wrote a screenplay adapted from The Girl with All the Gifts, called “She Who Brings Gifts”, which is currently in production.

One of the key differences, according the Carey, is that while the book centers largely around Melanie, it switches back and forth between 5 different perspectives. The film, however, will only follow Melanie.

Now, onto the book itself.

The Girl with All the Gifts is a horror novel, written in the third person multiple point of view. It’s well written, with a good story, that constantly keeps you guessing. Often times, when you start to wrap your head around the world that the characters live in, and you start to feel as though you have an idea of what exactly is going on, Carey almost always seems to hit you with a curve ball.
While I like stories that keep you guessing, I often find that people complain that stories like that “raise more questions than they answer”, which I’ve never actually understood that as a complaint. While it’s important that major plot points are tied up, and that other questions that are brought up get addressed in some manor, not every question needs to be answered entirely. Some questions can be answered satisfactorily in an indirect way – through the implications of other plot points, or even by being addressed as “I don’t know why. That’s just the way it is”.
Anyway, it’s moot, because this isn’t one of those stories. Pretty much any and every question that’s brought up in answered to a reasonable degree of satisfaction.

Now, onto the story itself. I won’t go too far into it, but if you don’t want the first couple of chapters of the the book, as well as the first few twists and/or turns to potentially be ruined for you, then don’t read on any further.

The story follows a young girl named Melanie, who initially seems like your average school child. She sits obediently in class, while a variety of teachers come and go, and teach them about various subjects. Some teachers are better than others, the best of all, in Melanie’s opinion, at least, is Ms. Justineau. Ms. Justineau is sweet, beautiful, and smart. She reads the children stories, and she brings in flowers, tree branches and plants – the sorts of things that the children have never seen before. Over time, you learn that the classroom that Melanie and her fellow students attend is somewhat more sinister, as every morning before class, men come into her room, point a gun at her, and strap her into a chair. They then wheel her and all of her classmates into the classroom, one at a time. When class is over, the same thing happens, but in reverse. The children are brought back to their rooms, and unstrapped, once again at gunpoint, and then locked there, where they stay all night, until the process begins again the next morning.

The Girl with All the Gifts is thrilling, scary, and stressful. The characters are real, believable people. They tug at your heartstrings, and even when you want to hate them, when you want something terrible to happen to them, you feel terrible when it eventually does.

I don’t have much bad to say about this book. At most, I could maybe say “I wish it wasn’t so depressing or hopeless at times”, but I don’t think I would even mean that. Based on the name, and the foreshadowing that happens early on, you know that it is not going to be a story with a happy middle. You know that things are going to seem hopeless.

Anywho, I give this book a 5/5. I really enjoyed it. It was a tough read at times, but well worth it.

Recently, Chris and I sat down and had a movie night. I haven’t been reading as much as I’d like to lately, so I thought that in order to give myself something to do – I’d get back to this blog, and start updating with movies, in addition to books.

So, we watched the following movies, which I’ll post short blurbs about below. Hooray! In order, we watched: The Loved Ones, Burning Bright, The Cottage, A Perfect Getaway, Delicatessen , and Trick ‘r Treat.

I’m gonna create a custom photo for movie nights soon, but for now, since I’m updating from work, please accept my humblest apologies, and this stock image I borrowed from Ghetty Images.

The Loved Ones. 3/5For the last few months, The Loved Ones has been coming highly recommended. It’s been on numerous “top horror” and “movies you should check out” types of lists, and it’s got a 98% on rotten tomatoes, which is pretty impressive in my eyes.

I thought it was ok. Nothing great, but not terrible by any means. There are a few truly horrifying, jaw dropping moments. I’ve seen a few other movies like this though, and I guess they’re just not my cup of tea.
Angsty teenager rejects girl who asks him to dance because he’s already got a date – he’s polite about it. So, girl has her dad kidnap him, and put on a prom-like dance at their house, except with torture. There’s some side-plots that are interesting, and the story went a little deeper than I expected it to.

Burning Bright. 5/5

Honestly, I was totally surprised by this one. The concept of the movie pretty much says it all. A young woman is stuck in a house during a hurricane with a tiger and her autistic brother. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect as far as story went, or even as far as content. I was afraid it would be some shitty “Life of Pi” knockoff. I was afraid that it was going to be the journey of a young woman making peace with her younger brothers disorder, or that it was going to be some ridiculous, totally unrealistic depiction of autism. But I was completely blown away by this movie.

Burning Bright had a completely different type of thrill and terror than your typical action/horror/thriller type of movie. The lead character was cool and identifiable, and surprisingly not at all sexualized despite spending most of the movie running around in booty-shorts and a tank top.

The Cottage. 5/5

The Cottage is a horror comedy about two bungling brothers, David and Peter, who kidnap the step-daughter of an underworld crime boss. Things quickly get out of hand, and hilarity ensues. It’s really hard to get into how the goofball crime comedy turns into a horror movie without giving too much away, but it’s worth a watch. Hilarious the whole way through, even when you’re mortified by what you’re seeing, the comedy aspect shines through. Also, the villain is way better looking in film than he is on the poster/cover, so don’t let that turn you off.

A Perfect Getaway. 5/5

I swear, I don’t usually give so many things such high ratings. It was just a great night for movies!

When Chris asked if I wanted to watch A Perfect Getaway, I had a hard time saying no. It has Chris Hemsworth, Steve Zahn, and Timothy Olyphant in it, and they are all straight up hot dudes. Plus, I like everything I’ve seen Zahn and Olyphant in, plus most of what I’ve seen Hemsworth in. But I was pleasantly surprised, and blown away by this one.

A young, newlywed couple is honeymooning in Hawaii. While there, they come across a couple of drifters, who they have an iffy interaction with. Shortly thereafter, they find out that a newlywed couple was murdered by some mainlanders, who are also traveling as a male/female couple. A little later, they come across another couple, after receiving news that the murderers are believed to have hopped to the same Island that they have. All three couples fit the profiles of the killers, and you’re left to question who, if any, are the killers.

The first good chunk of the movie is a slow, thrilling buildup, and the end just plain fucking awesome. For a movie I watched for eye candy first, and story second, I was totally surprised by how much it pulled me in.

Delicatessen. 2/5I did not like this movie. I’m sorry! I was a big fan of Amelie, and A Very Long Engagement, and seeing as this was by the same director, I thought I’d enjoy it. Plus, it came highly recommended by a few people that I generally think of as having good taste, and the premise sounded pretty cool.

It’s about a butcher in post-apocalyptic France, who hires people to work as a super in the apartment complex he owns, and then kills them, butchers them, and feeds them to his tenants. This time, however, things change when his daughter falls for the new guy.

I get the idea behind it. I get how clever the set design, the writing, and filmography is. I just couldn’t get into it. I guess this is one where I have to say “It just wasn’t for me”. Womp womp.

Trick ‘r Treat. 3/5

I can’t stand Anna Paquin for reasons that I don’t entirely understand. I didn’t seem to mind her so much as Rogue in the X-Men series, but I wasn’t a huge fan of her in it, either. I have refused to watch past the 2nd episode of True Blood because of her. It’s just a combination of various features about her that she has no control over that just drive me bat-shit crazy. But especially in this movie. I was down for a horror movie about Halloween. Maybe a little skeptical, but I was cool with it. And then she walked on screen, and it was over for me.

So. Trick ‘r’ Treat is comprised of 4 stories, plus an opening “mini-story” and a closing that ties all o f the stories together. Of the four stories, there was only one that I didn’t really care for. I actually liked Paquins story! Not a bad Halloween movie. Not great, not bad. Pretty middle of the road.

What I thought was really interesting about Trick ‘r’ Treat was that based on the opening credits, it seemed like it was based on a series of comic books, but apparently it was the other way around. There was a series of 4 comics based around the four stories from the film that were supposed to be released, leading up to the release of the film, but because of the release being pushed back, and then eventually being released straight to DVD two years later, they ended up releasing the book in the form of graphic novel around the same time as the DVD release.

Hey! Before you read this article, I wanted to say a few things. I feel like this is one of those “less is more” types of movies. The less you know about it, the better it is. To this end, I try not to go into too much detail beyond the first few minutes of the movie, or discuss anything that you wouldn’t be able to gather from the title of the movie.
Also, do not watch the trailer for this film! While it doesn’t really spoil the whole movie or anything, I feel like it tells you way more than it should. It features a couple of pretty major plot points.

He Never Died is kinda difficult to categorIze, as far as films go. It’s an action movie, but it also has some pretty strong comedy/horror elements as well.

Jack (played by Henry Rollins) lives a simple life. He sleeps away most of the day, goes to bingo, and eats the same thing every day. He lives a clean life too – he doesn’t drink or get high, he doesn’t smoke or eat meat. He doesn’t talk much either, and it seems that that’s the way he likes things.
That is, until one day when he gets an unexpected knock on his door, and two thugs try to rough him up for information. Jack quickly dispatches the goons, and unknowingly sets in motion events that are going to disrupt the life that he’s built for himself.

He Never Died is a film with a simple, well told story. I’ve heard mention of how obviously low the budget was, but it’s something that didn’t even occur to me until it was brought up. The production values are all outstanding, the cinematography, the writing, the acting, are all great – the only hints to budget restraints is that a lot of the violence and gore is implied.

The best part: 108 Media, the company who produced the film, is looking to create a mini-series to further explore the story – with Henry Rollins attached to return as Jack, as well as the same writer/director!

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2016/03/07/he-never-died/feed/0wp-1457343853657.jpgdreujnkwp-1457348011424wp-1457348025271Divergenthttps://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/divergent/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/divergent/#respondSat, 08 Mar 2014 21:01:10 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=400Everyone I know who read The Hunger Games could not stop talking about Divergent, by Veronica Roth. They said it was a cool, future United States, post-apocalyptic-ey, sci-fi fantasy whatever, takes place in Chicago. I’m from Chicago. I love Chicago! How could this not be great?

As always, spoilers. We’ve got spoilers like a hot rod.

ConceptThis is a hard one.

So, Divergent takes place in Chicago, if Chicago wasn’t Chicago. I mean, there are certain landmarks that apparently remain – Navy Pier, Lake Michigan, The Sears/Willis Tower, Lake Shore Drive, the Hancock Building, but as far as geography goes, it’s just another made up city. But that’s just a personal qualm. That doesn’t really matter.

So apparently, in Divergent, society has been split up into five factions. Dauntless, Abnegation, Erudite, Candor, and Amity. Each faction values different qualities as the most important – the quality signified by the name of faction. Dauntless values bravery, Erudite values intelligence, Abnegation is selflessness, Candor is honesty, and Amity is kindness. And, apparently, because of these traits, which are valued above all others, the people of these factions are viewed as more fit for certain types of jobs. The Dauntless are soldiers, the Erudite are doctors, Abegnation are politicians and volunteers, Amity are… farmers? I guess? And they don’t really talk about what Candor does, because honestly, fuck honesty, am I right?

Aaaaanyway… When you hit 16, you apparenty are forced to take this test, where you’re entered into a simulation, during which you’re put in a variety of scenarios. Those scenarios determine what faction you’re best suited to. Apparently when given the option between cheese and a knife without any explanation of what they’re for, you’re more prone to be Dauntless. And so on. The point is, I understand the idea here, but it’s… not particularly good.

But, our main character – a girl so bland I forgot her name (It’s Beatrice. It took me a minute, but I got it eventually), got an inconclusive result, which apparently labels her as Divergent, a concept that isn’t explained in a satisfactory way until near the end of the book. Even then, the explanation is lame. But again, I digress.

So, faced with a decision about if she’s going to stay with Abnegation, where she clearly doesn’t fit in, or switch to one of the other factions that she could go with, because she’s special or something I guess. Who the fuck cares. The risk here would be letting her family down. Because apparently you’re not allowed to visit people from other factions.

She also gets a lot of dumb sounding tattoos.

ExpositionA poorly written first person narrative that explores the boring fake Chicago that Tris (oh yeah, she changes her name to Tris. Edgey, right?) lives in.

The Good

The concept is pretty unique, and some of the things that the writer did with Chicago landmarks were interesting enough. The writing was okay at times. I don’t know. I can’t really think of much to say about the book. It kept me asking “What’s going to happen next?”, in a vaguely curious sort of way. But when the answer continued to be “nothing” for most of the rest of the book, I sorta stopped caring.

The Bad

The easiest part of this review! Whoo! Probably also the longest. Lets get the little stuff out of the way: The writing was bad, the characters were boring, it didn’t actually take place in Chicago, and the few attempts made at foreshadowing were pretty much the writer saying “This is what is going to happen”.

The love interest (who is obviously the love interest from the beginning, despite the poor attempts to throw you off the trail, who is obviously into Tris, despite the even more obvious attempts to throw you off the trail) is named Four. What the fuck kind of name is that. I get that it’s supposed to be cool and shit, but it’s not. It’s dumb as fuck.

During her time in the Fear Simulator (whooooo), every one of Tris’ fears is symbolic in some way. She’s pecked to death by crows, which is supposed to symbolize powerlessness. She’s stuck in a glass cage filled by water, which is supposed to signify feeling trapped. Or something. I don’t know. It’s pretty bad. Yet, when we hear about the fears of others, and when we see Four’s fears, they’re all quite literal. He’s afraid of his abusive father, which is signified by several incarnations of his father beating the shit out of him. He’s claustraphobic, which is signified by him being stuck in a small place. He’s afraid of heights, signified by him being high above the ground. I have a couple of theories as to why this is the case, but all of them come down to bad writing in the end.

There’s no real story. What little plot you can pull out of the book is secondary to the poorly written, poorly forshadowed relationship that develops between Tris and Four.

There’s more, but I’m already sick of it.

Final Thoughts

This is a poorly written romance novel, disguised as a sci-fi fantasy clusterfuck. And it’s not good. If you’re into Twilight, you’d probably still be disappointed by this one.

Grade

Divergent earns a solid “F”. A bad read, with little redeeming value.

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/divergent/feed/0wpid-divergent_16.jpgdreujnkDreams and Shadowshttps://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/dreams-and-shadows/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/dreams-and-shadows/#respondSat, 08 Mar 2014 19:17:38 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=406Note: This contains some minor spoilers for Dreams and Shadows by C. Robert Cargill. I’ll try to keep them to a minimum, while still getting to the point of this book.

ConceptIt’s hard to define the concept of Dreams and Shadows without giving away the first half of the book, so I’m sorry if this portion doesn’t contain too much.

Ewan is a 7 year old boy, living in the Limestone Kingdom, a fairy court just outside of Austin, TX. He lives with Dithers, a Bendith Y Mamau, who is teaching him the ways of fairies. He hopes to one day become a real fairy, and join the court.
Knocks is a changeling – specifically Ewans changeling. He and his adopted mother, a nixie, moved to the Limestone Kingdom when people began to become suspicious of the many drownings at the lake they live in, and the mysterious laughing boy who has been seen nearby.
Colby is a normal kid, with a pretty shit life, until he meets a genie who promises to grant him any one wish. And the wish he makes will forever change the lives of these three boys.

The second book picks up about 15 years later, and follows the adventures of the three boys in Austin. I’d love to say more, but I can’t without spoiling the first half. But it is, for sure, worth reading.

ExpositionThe narrative style in Dreams and Shadows is 3rd person limited, though the focus of the narrative changes fairly frequently throughout the book. The author also does a really good job of getting into the head of a 7 year old. I’ve heard many complaints of “So they met once, and they were suddenly best friends? What’s up with that”, but that’s kinda how it was for me when I was a kid. I would meet someone, we’d hit it off, and decide right then and there that we were best friends.

Point is, it’s cool.

The book is also interspersed with excerpts from various texts on fairies, magic, etc, to help explain things that have happened, or which are going to happen soon. It’s something that’s done pretty well.

The GoodThe book has an epic, sprawling sort of feel to it, which I found appealing, but I can imagine would bother other people.

The first several chapters are a series of stories with no clear connection to each other, and no obvious purpose. They’re interesting and well written, but I remember being a few chapters in, and just wondering where it all was going. But once it does get going, it gets really good, really quickly.

The writer also does a pretty good job of getting into the head of a 7 year old kid, like I said before. I’ve read several critical reviews, where people complained about the whole first half of the book, stating that the characters, and the interactions between the characters were hard to believe, but this is something I attribute largely to those readers. As an adult, it’s hard to look at things through the eyes of a young child, especially one who’s just on the brim of understanding, or one who’s thrust into a bizarre supernatural situation. A lot of what happens to Colby, Ewan, and Knocks is pretty out there, but their reactions are fairly believable, in my eyes.

The BadInitially, I had a hard time thinking of anything bad about this book, but after having a good friend of mine read it, a few things came to mind.

Women. Not many women appear throughout the course of the story, and most of the ones that do serve a few very specific purposes, and that purpose is to advance a male characters story, often in a way that is potentially detrimental to the health, safety, and/or sanity of said female character (see: Women in Refrigerators).

Something I picked up on, but which didn’t occur to me as a potential negative until said friend of mine brought it up is: there are several parts of the book, where the way things are described, and the way scenes are set up gives the sense of being written so as to easily translate into a movie, if it came to that. Again, this didn’t really stick out to me as a negative, but I can see why someone might not like it. It is worth note, however, that Cargill works as an internet film critic, and wrote the movie Sinister, so the cinematic feel isn’t anything we should be too shocked about.

Final ThoughtsRead this book. Right now.

Grade“A”. Maybe even an A+, It’s just so goddanmed good.

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/dreams-and-shadows/feed/0wpid-15818357.jpgdreujnkThe Hunger Gameshttps://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/the-hunger-games/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/the-hunger-games/#respondWed, 18 Dec 2013 23:06:32 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=327Note: This contains spoilers. Because, honestly, this book has been out for years. And so has the movie. You’ve really got no excuse at this point.

When The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins initially came out, I had no interest in reading it. It was just something I saw people reading on the ‘L’. Then, while I was housebound with a broken arm, the guy I was seeing at the time picked up a copy, and fell in love with it.
One night, after I’d finished whatever I was reading, the ex was reduced to tears by the book, and I decided to pick up a copy. Because, why not. What did I have to lose?

While I enjoyed it enough to keep reading, and picked up the sequels shortly afterwards, I wasn’t floored. But, after seeing the movie version of ‘Catching Fire’ in theaters recently, I was inspired to pick these books up again, and give them another read-through.

ConceptThe Hunger Games follows Katniss, a girl named after a plant. She lives in The Seam, a poor part of District 12, the coal producing district of Panem.

Panem is a country in what had previously been the United States before the world fell apart – though it’s never explained what from. It could be anything from the gradual depletion of resources, to some sort war.

Panem is composed of twelve districts, and a centralized capitol city. The capitol is simply named The Capitol, and the districts are named District One, District Two, so on and so forth, all the way on down to District Twelve. Each district is responsible for producing a certain type of resource, soley for the benefit of The Capitol. For example the main industry of 11 is agriculture, and we learn that while it is assumed that the residents of District 11 are well fed because of this, they are strictly monitored and severely punished if they take any food for themselves. They’re just as hungry and poor as everyone else.

Anyway. I digress.

Obviously, the people of the districts are getting a raw deal – If they’re producing all the resources for the entire country, but not seeing any of the benefits, why don’t they go on strike? Or stop? Or revolt? Or something. Or anything.

The answer is pretty simple. They already did, and they failed. The thirteen districts rose up against the capital in what is now referred to as “The Dark Days”, and were beat down. The District 13 was destroyed, to set an example for what happens to other when they try to oppose The Capitol.

As a result, they hold a yearly competition called “The Hunger Games” (gasp!), where two tributes, one boy and one girl, aged twelve through eighteen, are chosen at random from each district, and put in an arena where they’re forced to fight to the death. The idea here is that the games serve as a reminder to the districts of just where they stand.

Long story short, Katniss winds up participating in the games, as the female tribute for District 12. She’s ripped from the rural surroundings she’s grown with, and is thrust into the materialistic, vain, ridiculous society of The Capitol, where she’s forced to engage in what basically ammounts to a pageant, where she vies with the other tributes for who can accrue the biggest supply of wealthy sponsors to help her out during her time in the games.

Then, of course, she vies for survival against the 23 other tributes in the 74th Annual Hunger Games. But, not only is it a battle to the death against someone from your own home town, and 22 strangers being filmed and broadcast for the entire country to see, she has to battle for survival against the arena itself.

ExpositionThe story is presented in a simple first person narrative format, in the present tense. Occasional flashbacks and tangential explanations give color and depth to the world.

The GoodI liked a lot about it. I thought the world was interesting, and the writing wasn’t bad. The concept was pretty cool, and the violence was a tiny bit graphic for a “Young Adult” novel, but it wasn’t a gore-fest or anything like that. The violence was pretty tame, even though there was quite a bit of it. Which is neutral, I guess.

The characters were all good. I loved Peeta. I thought Katniss was a little bit of a whiner, but I guess it wouldn’t really appeal to teens if that wasn’t the case. You have to have a certain amount of angst to be successful with that crowd. Though it seemed like the most that any of the characters, even the ones who genuinely seemed to like her, did was tolerate her.

The BadThe main character is fairly unlikable, which isn’t the biggest deal ever, but since the book is her fighting for her life in a 24 person death match… Well, you get the idea. The writing isn’t the best, but it’s not really bad either.

Final ThoughtsThe book is good, not great. The characters are pretty good for the most part, except for the main character, which is a little bit of a problem – though it’s not the end of the world.

The concept is interesting, and unique, even if certain aspects of it are a little shallow. They don’t really hold water when thought about critically. That being said, however, the book never failed to suspend my disbelief, even if a few times I did stop and say “Oh man, that’s cheezy”.

While not the angstiest or goriest thing I’ve ever read, some people were shocked by the amount of violence, and the angst gets laid on pretty thick at times, but it wasn’t really that bad. And really, what else can you expect from a book aimed at Young Adults.

I liked the book well enough, but I liked the second and third installments way better.

GradeThe Hunger Games gets a solid “B”. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever read, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

]]>https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/the-hunger-games/feed/0dreujnkCover for The Hunger Games14https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2013/11/19/14/
https://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/2013/11/19/14/#respondTue, 19 Nov 2013 20:25:08 +0000http://hahahairtrigger.wordpress.com/?p=300There are so many things to say about Peter Clines’ 14. And I honestly don’t even know where to begin. It’s a strange melting pot of mystery, thriller, horror, sci-fi, fantasy – a little bit of everything, coming together to work remarkably well.

Book cover for 14, by Peter Clines

Concept14 by Peter Clines follows Nate, a normal sort of guy, with a normal sort of life. No girlfriend, a dead-end job, a boss he hates. Plus, I mean, he lives in LA, and no, he does not work in film, thank you very much. But, he doesn’t make much money either, so he needs a new, cheap place to live. And he hears, by word of mouth at some party, about a building with relatively nice apartments, and cheap rent. So, he jumps on it.

The new building, a brownstone called the Kavach Building, seems pretty nice when he goes to look at it, but starts noticing some weird stuff pretty much immediately after moving in. A door with no knob, a door with a knob that is seriously padlocked, fancy elevators that have never seemed to have been functional, some mutant glow in the dark cockroaches, and a neighbor across the hall, whose apartment seems to have a completely different layout than his. Weird.

Things get weirder and weirder as he starts exploring the building, making friends with neighbors, and hearing about all the weird stuff they’ve got going on in their apartments. Eventually the tenants get together and launch a full-scale investigation, with terrifying and disastrous results.

ExpositionThe story is written in the 3rd person limited perspective, which is pretty common. You follow Nate as his curiosity about his new building blossoms into a bit of an obsession, and you discover the mysteries of the Kavach building along with him and his neighbors.

The GoodThe writing is very detailed, and the story is excellent. This was a book where I honestly had no idea what was going to happen next. I didn’t even try to guess. It was all over the place, but in a very good way. Just when you’d start to feel like you were figuring out what was going on, it would shift gears, and turn your world upside-down. There’s a huge cast of characters with unique personalities, and people do things that you don’t normally see them do in literature – like eat, drink, go to the bathroom. They also seem to have pretty realistic interactions.

Clines does a good job of suspending disbelief, so parts that seem a little ridiculous in retrospect were fairly thrilling at the time. In addition, the atmosphere of suspense, horror, and excitement are very palpable.

The BadThe writing sometimes isn’t that great. Pretty much every time someone drinks anything, they’re described as “taking a pull” off of their beer, or their soda, or that canteen of water. Every time anyone talks about getting anything, they say the same thing. “How about we order a pizza or three?” “I’ll come by around 4 with a case of beer or three.” Neither are really that big of a deal, but they’re a symptom of something greater, something more mediocre about the writing. There was a time where both Chris and I both said to each other “Have you noticed that they keep saying that?”
Many of the characters come off a little flat as well. They all have their own “plot twists” in their back stories, some are more apparent, some are more implicit, and some are entirely unknown until flatly stated. Most of them, however, come across as a little contrived.

There also seems to be a fair bit of trend jumping in this book, which I found to be enjoyable at first, because they’re all trends that I have at least some interest in, but it seemed to get a little out of hand – all these little things sorta ruined my suspension of disbelief. Again, I thought all the individual elements were pretty cool, but when they came together, my response was sorta… “…Seriously?”

Final Thoughts14 is a good book. A very good book, with a great story that constantly keeps you guessing about what happens next. It has a distinct, diverse, albeit somewhat flat cast of characters, who remain entertaining whether their sitting on the rooftop sharing a few beers, or rooting around in the dirty basement of an old apartment complex. Despite some minor issues with the writing, I still enjoyed this book immensly.

GradeThis was a tough one, but after some deliberation, I’ve settled on a “B” for 14. The many strengths of this book outweighed the issues I had with the characters and the couple of flaws with the writing.