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Part 103: Episode LXXIX: In Which the Disciples Are Given Their Quarterly Performance Evaluation

Episode LXXIX: In Which the Disciples Are Given Their Quarterly Performance Evaluation

We are Recorders. Our duty is to observe.

But as I continued to record the singularity known as Zero, I began to find myself filled with very strange emotions...

Oh ho! So it seems disciples were always meant to be paired with certain Intoners...? Yep. Well, this explains a lot. So Dito and Cent reverted to their original forms as payment for summoning angels without their Intoners' power... It takes a lot of energy to summon an angel. Without the power of a song, there was no way for them to keep their human forms. Ho ho ho... Well, this certainly mucks up the works now, doesn't it? And on top of that, it looks like Mikhail is having trouble restraining his appetite. You could say that. What did that Accord girl say again? It's a dragon's instinct to consume the flower? I don't think he can hold something like that in check so easily... When the time comes, I'll feed him. He can have me.

Hmmm... By the way, Octa... Yes? Isn't it about time you had a bath? But I thought you enjoyed my musky odor! Besides, the sweet tang of man-funk really gets me in the mood... Wash up or get out. Goodness, this is quite the dilemma indeed... ...Really? <walks away>

Octa, stop mugging for the camera! It's not polite! We're trying to get our end game serious pants on now. Sheesh. I mean... at least I think that's what you were doing. I have no idea what was going on with the extremely low budget quality of that cutscene. Especially when it's immediately followed up by another proper campfire scene...

Yes. Good. Because you both need to hear this. ...Yes? I'm not going to mince words here. It's about our... nighttime activities. Your performance has been abysmal. Preposterous! My gargantuan joy-stick is the talk of the town in taverns the world Size doesn't equate to joy in this case. Huh!? Look. It's not about how many times you continue... It's about make the most of your play session. Just being gargantuan is worthless. So either level up your skills, or we're done. Got it? Y-Yes, my lady! Terribly sorry, my lady! As for you, Decadus. Frankly, you've always been a perfect gentleman to me. I seek only to serve you in all things, my lady. But your... preferences are a bit... extreme. We can't go five minutes without you begging me to punish you somehow. Uuunnngh... That kind of stuff is fine on occasion, but if we do it every single time, it loses its impact. A thousand apologies, my lady. Great, then. I'm glad we had this talk. Class dismissed. Yes, my lady!

And now that the quarterly review is over, we come to a proper campfire scene. This is actually the penultimate campfire downtime in the entire game. Can you believe it? We're actually getting near the end of this crazy thing. Except for that whole Zero Prologue and... two more short stories to process and... Look, let's see how everyone is doing and not think about that too much, eh?

We're just playing around before we go to bed. You're playing? Aw, no fair! I wanna play too! Um... yeah, no. That's not going to work. Can I play when I grow up? Huh? Pleeease!? We'll talk about it later. Boy, I sure hope I grow up soon. I can't wait to play with you guys all night!

Look, Mikhail. One day there will be this thing called the internet and this terrible dream of yours has already come true there. Moving on!

Oh ho! And why would I do that when I have the whole world as my lover? The whole... Wait, what? Well, an Intoner is best, of course. But if one's not available, a... human will suffice. If neither of those are available, ****** will do, ***** are all right, tooin fact, I've been reeeeally enjoying ******* lately! That's just wonderful. You know, what I'd really like to try sometime? A ******!

I am perfectly okay without knowing what any of those censored words ever at any point. Perfectly okay. Let's speak with Decadus and get to the next mission.

Not tired, I guess. I imagine not. Only a madman could sleep in a world such as this. Still, please try to sleep. You need your rest. Still, please try to sleep. You need your rest. What are you, my mother? No. I am your disciple. I swore to serve you for eternity. I swore to give my life in your name if needs be. All right, all right. If I need something, I'll let you know. I eagerly await your orders. .. I suppose Lady Three was never in the forest after all. Ho ho! The Land of Sands, then? Or perhaps the Cathedral City? Better tackle them both. One and Three have to be hiding somewhere. You fly up and search from above. The three of us'll check the underground ruins. Okay! Very well, my lady. Understood. ..... ............. My lady? This feels... off, somehow. Perhaps because Dito isn't here to complain about the plan... And Cent's not making up facts that couldn't possibly be true. Yeah, I suppose you're right. Hmm...

We've jumped ahead a bit. Now we're down to one week left before the fated final battle with... whoever is still alive by the end of this timeline. I somehow do not believe I'll be finishing up this LP within a week. Just a hunch on my part.

Why's that? She always did enjoy dark places like this. That, and these ruins are the only nearby refuge. Right. Let's give it a look.

We're back to the underground ruins map. The entryway now has a good ol' fashioned platformer segment connecting the entrance to the inner sanctum. Just for funsies and possibly to annoy Zero. Spoilers: Three isn't here and this entire mission is just a bunch of filler like this map has been the previous four times we've slogged through it.

The platforming is mostly there just as a dick move to delay Zero as five greater spirits are unleashed on the soldiers on the far side, guaranteeing a full batch of possessed folks by the time the party arrives. I mean, they could have just had them pre-possessed. But I'm sure there's some technical engine reason that didn't happen. Or just . It's hard to tell at this point.

Oh yes I am! Octa and Decadus are with her! Stand firm, soldier! Yes, sir! Oh ho ho! Such foolish courage! She defiles the name of Intoner! Kill her... Kill her now! Our mission is to guard Lady Three! Then I suggest you find another line of work! Don't panic! Don't humiliate yourself before Lady Three. May Lady Three watch over us always. That's an... Intoner! We must serve our Lady and kill these monsters. Stay calm. Panic will only get you killed.

Sound advice all around. Just not for you guys.

Most of this mission is just retreading bland corridors. There's some necromancers. Undead. A healthy smorgasbord of regular infantry and the like along the ways. None of which are worth more than a passing mention at this point.

Wow, Three's pretty popular, huh? Indeed. She's been gaining fame even outside the Land of Forests for a while. Especially for men who are... into those sort of extracurricular activities... Dare I even ask...?

Even Zero is entirely over all the encounters from here on out. Like the one arena that had the second tier trolls the solitary time the entire campaign now has Sand Ogres. Oh my!

I just wanna murder Three and get this over with! Move or die! I don't care which!

Now now, Zero. It's not the time to begin getting in negotiations with demons. That is a terrible mechanic even in otherwise decent games. Let's just stick to the murder we know and move on.

At the far end of the underground ruins we come upon the usual giant series of narrow pathways across a bottomless chasm leading to the exit structure. It's tinted an orange hue this time and the path is lined with imps and soldiers. That's about all there is to be said.

Well no, imps still are the most aggravating enemy. Especially when wrestling with both the camera and staying on the steep path overlooking the pit. Octa and Decadus are a lost cause here. Last I saw Decadus he decided to just start spinning in place by a torch while Octa entered a suicidal loop of fatal drops, respawning, and dropping again.

This summarizes the remainder of the level. Even they knew it was bullshit busy work here on out. But rejoice! This is the final filler mission of the game!

Many dead soldiers, golems, and imps later...

In the sky? I thought Three liked dark places. She does, my lady, but... Well, um...

So, let's get the hell out of the Land of Deserts for the final time and mosey on to the final aerial mission of the main game. Tune in next time for the darkest single scene of the entire Drakengard series...

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