AMAZON

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Alex the Feline Blogger

I, Alex, am taking over this blog today! Sometimes Saintly (not today) Nick, the human I own, has gone bonkers. Therefore, while he is (again) sleeping under those fans, this feline will tell you of the trials and tribulations my human housemate has forced upon me.

First, for months now my human has grabbed me (sometimes while I was taking a customary cat nap), held me in his left arm, and forced an eye dropper filled with what he calls “your medicine” into my mouth. I will admit that although “your medicine” doesn’t really taste too bad—I lick up any that escapes from my mouth onto my furry chin—the indignity of having it squirted into my mouth is appalling.

Now my human is trying to poison me with little pills he smashes up and tries to hide in my breakfast. He calls this “your medicine,” too, but I wonder why he hides it in my morning Friskies. As much as I would like to just stick my tongue out at him and walk away from my dish, when it comes to standing on principle or eating breakfast, I must choose the latter.

Did you know that my human fell though the back steps and hurt his legs? Dumb. Had he been a cat, he could have just leaped over the steps. That’s what I do. Since he hurt his legs, he doesn’t move around very well. And he always carries that nasty stick that once or twice he has put down on my tail.

And worst of all, my human is getting forgetful. Some evenings he opens the front door and calls my name, even though I am inside the house napping. He did that a few nights ago and I walked up behind him and rubbed my fur on his leg and my human dropped his stick and almost fell down.

Hi Alex ~~ Be kind to your human, remember he feeds you - on demand !!Hi Nick ~~ cute post. Thanks for your comments, glad you liked the photosof my flowers and the poem "If" Somany of us have known it for so long.Sorry, we don't need to keep your Prez down here, we have more than enough politicians. Take care, NickRegards, Merle.

hey alex, i know it's hard living with someone who lacks your intuition, nimbleness and intellect. but that someone has a big heart and makes sure you never go wanting for food, cuddles or a warm cosy bed. so humour him, dear fellow, he loves you dear.

Love you picture there Alex. Hey treat your human right. He can not help it if he is not more cat like. And that stick he walks with. I have a friend that we used to tease relentlessly. His stick he had was a cane since he is blind. Let me tell you, that stick hurt when we made the mistake of being withing reach while teasing. At least your incidents were just accidents.

Hopefully your human will be doing better soon and also hopefully the heat will go away.

Your medicine sounds different than my medicine. My medicine is ripe, rich, and round, with lots of spicy, Earth-scented black cherry and berry flavors, hinting deliciously at chocolate on the smooth finish. It pairs well with a cigarette.

This is NOT Sometimes Saintly Nick, but I, Alex, who have finally regained access to this computer and shall now respond to your comments. In case I do not have the opportunity to respond to all of them before my human returns and yanks me off of my desk (which he thinks is his desk), have faith dear human sisters and brothers, for I, like your General Macarthur, shall return!

Mr. AZSONOFAGUN: Are you suggesting that I do unto the human as I would have the human do unto me? Yuck!

Ms. PINK: Why, in the name of all that is feline, did you mention the word “dog?”

Mr. KULPREET: Why, thank you, sir! I see you are an excellent judge of felines.

Ms. THE LONE BEADER: I see that you, my dear, are also an excellent judge of felines. Do you think that you could bead me a crown to wear?

MS MERLE: Yes, my human does feed me and if you humans will excuse me, it is now breakfast time. I shall return!

MAXXO: I am blushing! Even my one black nostril! Yes, I intuition, nimbleness and intellect—and let us not forget common sense—all of which my human lacks. Speaking of cuddles, I awaken my human this morning at 4:00 a.m. by walking on his chest and belly. Then, is snuggled beside him and he rubbed my belly and under by chinny-chin-chin. Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

BARMAN: Yes, my human cannot help it that he lacks feline qualities. And that stick really is not so bad as long as he remembers that I am walking under his feet.

NINA: Thank you, Ms. Hawk: I will accept all of the sympathy you are willing to dish out.

JODY: Yes, I am, ain’t I!

PAULINE: Medicine? The vet gives me shots and the human squirts it down my throat and hides it in my food. I am tired of medicine!

DEB: Well, I cat’s cry for help may be cute, but you ought to hear me screech!

This is again Alex, the cute cat, returning from a jaunt about the neighborhood to comment on your comments.

CHINA GIRL: Thank you. I am cute, ain’t I? Don’t you think my one black and one pink nostril are unique? How about my expressive eyes? The black spots on my hind legs? But, no, there is nothing faulty about my logic: my human needs to be able to think like a cat. Now I ask you, what cat would want to think like a human?

LYNN: Now you understand cat-think. Yes, you humans are weird!

PUSS-IN-BOOTS: Thank you. I truly appreciate your words, especially since they come from the human who belonged to our dear departed feline friend, Oscar. I miss him and his blog so very much. Purrrrrrrrrrrr.

SHEEESH: Thank you, young human lady.

LAURIE: You are so welcome. My human had better heal soon, I am tried of listening to his bellyaching.

Yes, I checked out the transmission from cousins. They are very cute little kittens. They may even grow up to be as cute as me. Maybe.

MS. T K KEROUAC: If you are referring to my human understanding my language, I will admit that he tries hard—but usually fails. (See above about my having to claw him 3 times today before he gave me want I demanded. Humans are such slow learners!)

That is everyone who left comments on my post this far. I thank you all. Please tell my human I need to write regularly on Nick’s Bytes, unless, of course, I can have my own blog.