Holly & Oliver O'Toole's relationship was a mystery even to me when I first started A&D. But having spent an immeasurable amount of time embedded in the finest of details related to Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I have come to find beauty and complexity in their relationship, particularly when it comes to how they relate to one another in one critical moment.

In From Paris With Love, the use of language plays an important role in relaying the story of Holly and Oliver's relational issues. From Holly's poem about Oliver needing translated from French to be understood, to Holly and Oliver's repeated failure to understand each other in basic English, language both alienated, but also eventually reconciled, their relationship.

First, a bit of a refresher:

Alienation: "...I'm Not Following..."

Holly and Oliver's communication problem becomes evident before Holly ever returns to U.S. soil. The poem Shane finds on Youtube, exclusively in French, is merely a tangible representation of what we come to learn is true of Holly and Oliver's relationship more generally---they are terrible at relating to each another, and in more ways than one.

So terrible, in fact, that it's only after Holly's poem is translated back into English by a third party that Oliver comes to understand the poem is about him. Even then, Oliver sits deeply perplexed at the Mailbox Grille by the imagery of "death whisper[ing] to [Holly] in the wind," asking aloud, "What does that mean?" To be honest, I still don't know if he ever truly understood it. If Oliver failed to understand Holly's written words, which to him is the "gold standard of human interaction," then it was hard to expect anything more from their verbal exchanges later on.

Probably still trying to figure it out...

As Holly appears on the scene, the communication issues are isolated to the English language, making their disconnect even more apparent.

Oliver and Holly discuss how she became a poet, yet she completely misses a moment of her own cleverness, and when Oliver brings up the letter, Holly immediately stalls by saying she's tired. Though Oliver never expresses his anger to Holly, he immediately divulges to Shane his sudden craving for the exact meal that indicates he's angry once Holly leaves. In this way their language barrier extends beyond words to actions as well. Take, for instance, Holly deferring to Oliver for all of two seconds about where to sit at the hotel for drinks that same evening. She seemingly wants Oliver to choose, but almost immediately takes control of the situation. Talk about mixed signals!

As seen in the video, this same encounter results in perhaps their most candid conversation directly identifying communication as the core weakness in their relationship. Each seems to have learned to express themselves in one or more languages, but as is painfully apparent throughout the scene, neither can do so in a way the other fully understands. Sadly, neither seems to know quite what to do about it, and both have a hard time even saying the word "divorce" later in the scene.

Reconciliation: The Road Home

For all of the dysfunction Holly and Oliver's words and actions generate, it took only a single quiet moment to rectify what appeared an irreconcilable situation.

As Holly relays the story of how her book of poems came to be published the following night, she shares a critical bit of information that gives her retreat to poetry meaning. Instead of using it to hide, she uses it to "get out of [her] head and back in[to] [her] heart." If Oliver were ever able to understand Holly, she identifies her poetry as the place he would be able to do it.

Remember, Oliver has read her poetry before---and struggled immensely to understand it, and, by extension, to understand Holly. The reason Oliver struggles is because of the unforgiveness he harbors towards her. We know this because of what happens next, after those now extraordinarily important words Holly speaks:

"I just wanted to say how sorry I am that it took me so long to come home. It's just that the longer I waited, the further away the road home seemed..."

Remember that Oliver wrote in his initial letter to Holly, "...if you regret your decision and simply don't remember the way home..."

In her struggle to find the right words, Holly used Oliver's to try and express herself. For the first, and perhaps only time throughout the entire duration of their marriage, these two are speaking the same language. And what I mean by that is Holly and Oliver are engaging each other in terms the other understands not only with their mind, but with their heart.

We know how deeply Holly's words touch Oliver because when he completes her poem, Oliver immediately says, "Is this what you want?" He doesn't need an interpreter this time, nor does he ask of Holly a single question related to its contents. The meaning of Holly's poem is clear and immediately understood. What allowed Oliver to achieve this once seemingly impossible feat? Forgiveness.

As Shane so sagely predicted, Oliver's decision to forgive Holly in that moment enabled him to achieve the peace he was seeking. This allowed him to not only genuinely understand Holly's written and spoken words with both his mind and heart, but also enabled clarity to pursue the path forward, which ultimately found Oliver and Holly parting ways.

Though Holly and Oliver's communication gap initially appeared insurmountable, each eventually found a way to speak to, and understand, the heart and mind of the other, even as this current phase of their relationship came to an end. Their story is a cautionary tale of how a lack of communication and mutual understanding, extending beyond merely the words used in a conversation, can serve to estrange two people. But it is also a powerful testament to the reconciliation that can occur when true understanding is achieved.

No question, a new scene has joined some of my favorite from this film!

It was apparent to me through the scenes together that Holly and Oliver were not understanding what the other was saying. I guess I thought Holly was self ansorbed and immature, and I love Oliver so much I had trouble seeing him at fault beyond his total devotion to the USPS! HA! I think you have done a great job of summing up their relationship.

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Judy Coeling

5/16/2016 06:50:12 pm

Great summary as usual! I thought it was interesting where Holly did not see the "poet and didn't know it" shane recognized "spring and thing" right away. I am so thankful for the blog and the hidden treasures you bring out. The time between shows make it hard for us devoted POstables. The blog keeps us remembering how much we appreciate Martha and the wonderful cast! Thank you😃

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Leora Kemp

6/28/2016 06:15:01 am

Watching FPWL again and musing on Oliver and Holly's discussion of their difficulty in communicating with words. For a long time, I've recognized that Shane has NO trouble communicating with Oliver--so often she forces him to talk, to speak about what's on his mind. Over and over, she expresses her concern about his feelings by asking him about them. Maybe that's another secret to being able to communicate--express an interest in each other.

Holly had no ring on her left hand. Odd that was missed with all the emphasis on the ring put in with the divorce pappers. I believe Oliver saw the lack of a wedding band, but chose to ignore it. I belive in Holly's heart they were already finnished.