Be It Ever So Messy, There's No Place Like Home: The "Adventures" of a 50-Something Southern California Mom - who used to be interesting... and her teenage daughter.

June 2009

June 25, 2009

I was saddened by Ed McMahon's death earlier this week, and would have written about it -- except that I don't have any great personal anecdotes about Ed, despite the fact that I once worked at the production company that did StarSearch... AND saw him daily when I worked at the Tonight Show. He was the same jovial person you saw every night, offering cheery greetings each afternoon as he passed my desk to go to his office. That's pretty much the extent of my memories of him.

The news of Farrah Fawcett's death was disheartening - but not unexpected. I might have more to say if I'd been a teenage boy in 1976, instead of a 20-year-old feminist college student.

But the news that Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest this afternoon... now, THAT's something I need to talk about. After all, we grew up together. Well, not "together" -- I never met Michael, although the Jackson family lived in a compound here in the Valley -- a friend of my sister went to middle school with him and was his math tutor.

But forty years ago, when the Jackson 5 burst on the scene, I was 13 and Michael was 11 -- and like everyone else in the country, I watched him grow up. It's hard to believe now that the media portrayed the Jackson 5 and that other group of singing brothers - the Osmonds - as equals vying for the hearts of American teenyboppers. I mean, in a battle of the bands, would you pick "One Bad Apple" over "I Want You Back"? (Or "ABC," "The Love You Save," and "I'll Be There"?)

And then, there was Michael's transformation from teen idol to adult superstar. It began with "Off the Wall," his first collaboration with Quincy Jones -- and went into hyperdrive three years later, with the release of "Thriller." That record is understandably considered a classic - but those of you who are not in your 50's may not realize exactly how revolutionary it was.

I was working in the music industry then, and MTV had only just launched as a kind of video radio channel (it truly was MUSIC television then, playing nothing but videos interspersed with music news delivered by cute, mostly young hosts dubbed "vee-jays"). But there were a lot of gripes that they didn't play any music by artists of color... UNTIL Michael Jackson delivered a one-two punch with "Billie Jean" and "Beat It." Never mind how great the songs were -- the accompanying videos were mind-blowing. I don't know if MTV's racial barrier was deliberate or not, but here was something they could not ignore. Michael Jackson became the first African-American on MTV, and the rest is history.

He cemented his standing with the outrageously budgeted video for "Thriller," directed by John Landis at a cost of $1 million. And then - his legendary appearance on the NBC-TV television special commemorating the 25th anniversary of Motown records, when he performed his famous one-gloved moonwalk.

I thought of him as a tragic figure in his later years. Do I believe the allegations of child molestation? Yes. But I also believe what Michael said years ago about being abused himself as a child. His was not a normal childhood. I am more surprised when child stars grow up to be well-adjusted and normal.

I'm looking forward to the inevitable video retrospectives that will air on the news tonight. I want my daughter to see Michael as I saw him years ago, before the weird behavior, the plastic surgery, the aura of creepiness. That is how I want to remember him.

I'm still trying to shake off the vestiges of the last-day-of-school summer cold my daughter gave me - but I know I'm on the way to recovery because I'm starting to feel a little stir-crazy from being home all week.

So you can imagine how my active kid is feeling right now. We're both looking forward to Monday, when she starts five weeks of tennis camp. I'm grateful that this is one budget item we did not have to eliminate this year.

Not everyone is so lucky. There are lots of kids in this country whose families cannot afford to give them a camp experience.

Fortunately, there are organizations out there that help. One of the nation's oldest is the Fresh Air Fund, which has been providing thousands of underprivileged kids memorable summer vacations since 1877.

The fund relies on donations and any amount donated before June 30 will receive matching funds from some of the organization's benefactors.

They are also looking for families to host a child. If you live in the northeastern United States and have the space, you could make a big difference in the life of a child. For more information, check out their website here.

June 23, 2009

To celebrate the last day of school, one of my daughter's friends hosted a sleepover, where she gave them all a little present: a particularly virulent summer cold.

I'm not sure the hostess gave it to her; Megan tells me that ALL the girls were complaining of sore throats and sniffles that night. But it is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. By Saturday night, I was feeling flu-ish, too.

And so Father's Day saw my husband taking care of us... and we are spending these first days of summer parked in front of the television, with tissues and cold medication at hand.

I have a meeting to attend tomorrow, and am doing all I can to recharge my batteries. I'm at the stage where my voice is starting to take on a sexy, husky quality... I'm praying it stays that way until after my meeting, but with my luck it will be replaced with a painful-sounding raspy cough.

June 19, 2009

This has been one of those weeks when I've neglected my blog -- not for lack of interest, but because life keeps getting in the way.

My VA client's business is heating up, which is a good thing, because I really need the money -- not least of all because of the home renovations resulting from our poria infestation. My husband has used this as an excuse to take a sledge hammer to all the things that have bugged him about the house these 13 years... beginning with the mirrored facade that was above our fireplace. He has a plan to make it all look pretty... but everything has to be done in steps and we're not up to that one yet.

I don't like being at home these days... the rooms that once resembled the Pottery Barn catalog now look more like our local Pep Boys. The rest of the place is so crammed full of stuff that used to be contained elsewhere that it's hard to find anything and it's hard to move.

I've been out and about, researching various aspects of the renovation project. I worked with a nice kitchen designer at Home Depot, purchased a new range and microwave hood at Lowe's... and stopped short of ordering new cabinets because my husband and I cannot agree on how to finish our floor, which -- thanks to the poria -- was stripped down to its concrete foundation.

The floor has to be done before the kitchen, because we are planning to install the new cabinets ourselves, which won't be done in the course of just one weekend. Until we're ready to go, they'll have to be stored in our dining room, so we need to have the floor done first.

The problem is the foundation itself. Our house was built in 1961 and has endured two major earthquakes and a burst water main, which was repaired in a rather sloppy manner. There are some huge cracks in the slab, which is how the wood-eating fungus got into our home in the first place. These have now been sealed with epoxy to keep the poria from getting back in...

...but the slab can crack again and the house can get re-infected and I don't want to ever again be surprised by the sight of mushrooms growing in my cabinets. So instead of covering the whole thing up with carpet and tile (which would have been the least expensive, easiest thing to do after being forced to remove my beautiful cherry floor), we're considering just dressing up the concrete slab with polish and veneer. This is a very trendy, high-end type of finish these days (go figure!), which is a lot more modern than my 1961 ranch house... but I think with area rugs, we can still make it comfortable and cozy. We can even choose a stain that emulates the cherry wood we lost, so at least we'd have the same colors.

But first, we need to find out if we can actually AFFORD this. I've been trying to collect bids from three local contractors, and explaining to them why we're thinking of concrete, why we had to remove our wood floors and why our slab is now covered in the ugly blue-gray epoxy designed for garages. And my husband and I have been driving all over the Valley, looking at stores with floors done by these guys' companies (we've not been able to see their work in residences; I guess it's not surprising that most homeowners aren't willing to let strangers come in and look at their floors).

Regarding the kitchen: The Thomasville cabinets I picked out at Home Depot might not be the best fit with a concrete floor; we may want to go back to the drawing board and select something more modern - with cleaner lines. So this week, I drove out to Ikea to see what they had to offer.

And I liked what I saw -- especially the price tag, which is so cheap that we could let THEM do the install.

Of course, there are some quality trade-offs. The Thomasville cabinets are made of wood, while Ikea's are all MDF, and that didn't sound too appealing to me. But once I saw the cabinets in the store's model kitchens, I had to admit that they looked really nice. And I know of some people who have put in Ikea kitchens and have been very happy with them. So I've got their third-party contractor coming to the house next week to measure us for an Ikea kitchen... just in case.

But there's a third option: I have a REALTOR® friend who has done a lot of home renovations over the years, and he's referred me to a carpenter who does all his custom kitchens ("for not much more than Ikea with an install"). So I'm calling him, too.

So that's just one of the things I've been dealing with this week. I'll save my dealings with my teenage daughter for another post... maybe next week.