Diary of an English expat living and working in Hong Kong.

December 30, 2012

Each day I need to eat a meal. I manage this reasonably well and can cook food to keep myself and my family healthy with the added bonus of it being tasty and enjoyable to eat. I shop for food, put the food away once its brought home, cook the food at the right time in order to have the food at the right temperature at the designated meal time. After that the washing up needs to be done, the crockery and cutlery put away and then the process is repeated at the next meal time.

Its a basic routine that occurs otherwise we'd all be hungry.

No medals

It is not really that hard, I have not been given nor do I expect, any gold medals for this function. I have not been abused or lost my temper and stormed out during a tricky grilling technique and so far I have had no exciting soundtrack to heighten my mood to cause anxiety and tension, while rolling out a pie topping.

While going through the various processes of peeling or chopping vegetables I have not waved a knife around with a flourish to draw attention to myself because when it comes down to it, chopping a vegetable, particularly an onion, is quite a mundane thing.

the wrong way?

Chopping Onions Must Stop

So if I see one more celebrity bloody chef on the telly demonstrating how to chop a bloody onion AGAIN I will ... I will... I will... probably switch channels. But I really want them to just stop being so patronising in their attitude towards cooking and to put an absolute halt on the close-up filming of chopping onions, sharpening knives in a menacing way, as if they are related to Anthony Hopkins, and most of all stop, just please stop, with the competitive element of cooking meals.

There are thousands of people out there who have to trudge around supermarkets to keep the food stocks in their home. Those same people have to produce meals for different age groups and different tastes to keep everyone happy every day. They do not get a medal or even a round of applause, probably just hurty red marks cut into their hands from carrying heavy bags home from the shop.

Then they sit down for a relaxing hour our two before bedtime to be confronted with horrific competitive cooking television programmes like Come Dine with Me, Masterchef or Iron Chef where quite incredibly cooking a meal is manipulated into being something of an Olympic sport where the response can be highly critical reducing participants to tears when a very polite (if you were brought up proper) 'Thank you for my tea, please can I leave the table" is the only correct response, the request will be granted and then everyone can get on with the other, more important, stuff they have to do, usually not cooking.

PS When I say I want celebrity chefs to go away I didn't mean all of them, particularl Curtis Stone, he's nice!

October 15, 2012

It is a regular and important part of my week. Without it my life would have less meaning. The thought of never having it again fills me with horror and dread. It would be an absolute hardship to do with out. I just don't think I could. A massive hole would appear in my life if they were to disappear tomorrow. Imagining the processing plant had broken down and there were no more, evokes panic deep inside me and I have an urge to do an impression of Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.

Beans are not poured correctly and there should be four triangles of toast on the side.

The Comfort

Beans on Toast - is so very dear to me. It can be a comfort, a life saver, its almost a friend when all around me have better things to do.

But it has to be right. Those of you out there who may not be aware of the ritual of preparing this delicious, nutrious meal may be a little confused as to the stellar ranking this has among, dare I say it? Yes I dare. The British.

First of all it has to be Heinz Beans, the baked type. I am aware there are other brands and I am coming to terms with the fact that Heinz have tampered with their product over the years. I am aware of the different varieties such as 'Organic' or 'With sausages' and I've heard through the grapevine that it is possible to buy a variety which has an affiliation with Branston Pickle. Be that as it may, for me, it must only be the pure beans.

No toast under the beans is just wrong.

The Heating

The temperature must be hot. They must be brought to the boil so they bubble around the edge of the pan, even a little sizzling is acceptable, after which a stir is permissible so ensure a uniform temperature for every bean. Too cool and they don't perform their duty later once poured over the toast. Too hot and they begin to change their consistency and I don't like that.

Once the Heinz Baked Beans are in the pan. Oh and they must be heated in a pan, not warmed up in the microwave because that doesn't result in the same textural consistency that I consider to be right and proper, the toast can be put in the toaster.

I understand that people like the addition of cheese, but not me. Why are both slices of toast whole?

This is just plain lazy workmanship.

The Toast

I am very happy with a medium width of brown toast from a pre sliced loaf. There was a time when it had to be Mother's Pride White sliced but I have reached a heady level of sophistication regarding my bread and so brown it has to be. I do lament the loss of an eye level grill, a gas powered one to be precise because I feel it used to be possible to coordinate the readiness of the toast with the readiness of the beans in a much more accurate way, plus the toast tastes so much better when cooked on a gas grill. But alas I have no such device so I must make do with an electric toaster.

The only beans are Heinz - but again standards are just not high enough with the presentation of the toast.

The hot toast needs to snatched immediately upon the pop-up. Its taken as read that it is brown at this point, if not, one more session in the toaster is essential to get the crisp toast required for application of said beans.

Butter the two slices of toast briskly. Time is of the essence now. I stress it has to be butter and to be perfect, Lurpak.

I hope Santa brings me one of these...

The Presentation

Take a dinner plate and place one hot slice of buttered toast in the centre. With the second slice of hot buttered toast cut it into four triangular shapes and place the four triangles around the whole slice thus creating an attractive, eye catching design to please all class of consumer. Once the arrangement is in place the hot beans can be poured, with love, over the top. The pour must be in the middle of the whole piece of toast and the must spill, temptingly over the little triangles. But they must not cover the triangles leaving them crispy while the middle, whole bit of toast, gets a bit soggy just before serving. It is acceptable form to pour a little of the bean juice down the sink before pouring over the toast to prevent over sogginess. There is an optimum level of sogginess and that is not too soggy. This is just a little chefs tip I'm throwing for free here.

Oh no

The Eating Part

Once the plate is assembled then eating must begin forthwith so that the eating temperature is perfect. A knife and fork should be used to create sumptuous little mouth fulls of part toast, part bean and it is perfectly acceptable to squash the beans onto the toast whilst on the fork with a little bit of pressure. This results in a lovely, squishy texture for eating.

I used to dream of having an eye level grill

Extra Toast

Sometimes, I feel, that one tin of beans is too many for two slices of toast. But two slices of toast is what my toaster produces as standard. Once the eating process has begun it may become clear that I will need one more slice in order to eat the beans because, obviously, I cannot eat the beans if the toast runs out before the beans are finished. If I judge, half way through, that I'm going to need a third slice then it is permissible to slip in that cheeky extra slice.

The timing is a little tricky at this point. It is important to keep on eating the serving of beans on toast currently on the plate while popping back to the toaster mid-way to catch the hot toast, butter it, and whack it on the plate so that the, still hot, beans can be eaten and enjoyed the way they should be.

The Drink

There are two acceptable drinks to go with beans on toast and that depends on your age. If you are under 18 it is Robinson's Orange Squash. If you are over 18 it is a cup of tea.

Some consumers lower themselves to buying beans that are, horror or horrors, supermarket own brand. But its not right. Get a grip of yourself and only buy Heinz. I also understand that some people like to grate cheese over their beans, or perhaps add a dash of Worcestershire Sauce, or even a grilled rasher of bacon on the side. All of these are a mystery to me and frankly just wrong.

April 24, 2012

More scorpions, star fish and sea horses - on a stick. Are you getting the culinary theme now?

I had a trip to Beijing. The food was terrific and so, as is the way in Asia I took photographs of the food and have posted them for your delight. Some are on Facebook, obviously, because that is the sole reason for its existence. ie Go out to eat, take photos of your plate of food (even if it looks like dog vomit) and then post the image on Facebook to show everyone just what a good time you had.

The street market at Wangfujing Street had some delicious snacks (I could have put snakes there for a hilarious typo but it would have been true not a joke) which reminded me of the scene from Monty Python's Life of Brian "Rat on a stick" - I know you understand my inter-textual reference because you are clever. The People's Front

I have to tell that I couldn't actually eat anything that looked like a bug or a small bird especially when some of them were still wriggling their poor little legs. They were not dead just speared on a stick and waiting to be grilled.

I did try the toffee coated strawberries though and can highly recommend them.

August 27, 2011

There is so much ground to cover on the subject of being new in Hong Kong I feel it needs a second installment...

Learning Cantonese

In the beginning you will have positive intentions about learning the language. You will imagine that it is possible to pick it up from other Hong Kong friends you meet. You may even consider or even attend Cantonese lessons. In about a year, or longer, you will feel confident to say the name of your street in Cantonese to a taxi driver and even though his reaction will undoubtedly be 'HA!" with a confused tone and you have to repeat it 27 times and have a conversation in English with his control room in English, you will have made progress because at least the words are being emitted from your mouth. You will also be more confident to ask the taxi driver or mini bus driver to stop in Cantonese. Top tip on the bus 'Pass the Jam Old Boy' gets the mini bus to stop, try shouting it out from the back seat today and see what happens. You are allowed to feel proud if it stops where you want.

Even though some words people say to you are actually English they have a Cantonese twist which make them harder to understand. Just because you start copying these words doesn't mean you can speak Cantonese although you will be understood. For example MTR low for MTR, capak for car park, ecuse me for excuse me or the strange custom of saying Cheers when posing for a photograph when obviously the word is Cheese (what does it mean anyway?).

Public Transport

Hong Kong public tranpsort system is the world's best, and I mean that most sincerely folks. But to start with the names of the stations will be just noise and your journey will involve intense interest in the map with the little lights. Your heart rate may increase as you near your station with the anticipation of what to do once you get to street level. You will be one of those annoying people who dither and delay when scanning the magical Octopus card (have you got one yet!) or, god forbid, at the bottom of escalators. You may even be at risk of looking like a tourist - some one who reads the Exit signs and carries a map trying to find their way. It is your mission not to look like a tourist by the way so avoid huge baggy shorts and socks with sandals especially in Central or TST and try not to be so pale.

Exotic Food

As a newbie in Hong Kong some of the food may be a challenge. Challenging Food Chop sticks may hinder your progress but believe me you'll master those quickly. I doubt that pig intestine, chicken's feet or a number of deep sea endangered species will ever become normal but try to be receptive to the new food and products you see in restaurants and supermarkets. It could be a mistake to be constantly craving that particular gravy mix or condiment from back home. It is known for some expats to bring back suitcases of their favourite consumable or even have their mother send it in bulk as a special treat. Stop this at once. You can get everything in Hong Kong. Absolutely anything you want is available you just need to know where to get it (be prepared to pay for it) and if you don't then ask me!

May 21, 2011

I love reading menus. Its all part of a good night out. It is a most satisfactory experience and I have a great sense of satisfaction when the decision has been made and the order is in. It means that I have carefully considered every dish on offer and chosen the best one, the one I am in the mood for.

Be Adventurous why don't you?

It was put to me recently that I should put myself in a situation of trying food that I would not normally try. 'What on earth for?' was my reply. I know I have lived in Hong Kong for ten years and I also know that in my heart I am a roast beef and Yorkshire pudding kind of girl.

I know what I like.

Ordering Skills

But I was cajoled and coerced into trying something a little bit different this evening. It was actually built up over a week when the words fish maw and (It is not a vegetable, more like a slug) sea cucumber, fungus and pork intestines were banded around willy nilly. This was all a sneaky underhand plan to make me feel boring, unadventurous and inadequate in my menu browsing and ordering skills. Quite offensive really but the tactic worked.

Bush Tucker Challenge

By the time I sat down in the Chinese Restaurant at the HKUST I was bigged up to order the weirdest stuff on the menu, in fact I was looking forward to the challenge. I thought it of it like Fear Factor or a Bush Tucker Challenge (see I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here) and so after some banter and a sharing of reading glasses Failing eyesight blog (I always have at least one pair on the table these days) the order was placed:-

fillet of groupa in an orange dressing

scallops with lily bulbs

fish maw with sea cucumber

lotus, black fungus with honey beans

and then just in case we really couldn't put any of that to our lips we also had:-

sweet & sour pork

fried rice with chicken and ginger

You want WHAT?

I was watching the waiter's face for signs of surprise, perhaps he would challenge us politely, carefully suggesting that we had made some culinary mistake because it's not what us folk usually order. It wasn't to be, and why should he be in any way doubtful that we wouldn't like it. Hundreds of other people order this stuff every Friday night.

It all arrived and was placed in the middle of the table for a shared experience, as all Chinese food is. No one gets a whole dish to themselves that is just not cricket. Everyone gets a taste of everything. It the way things are done.

Where is your napkin!

I saw the sea cucumber lurking among the fish maw and went for it. Stabbing a piece with my chopsticks and carefully transporting the slippery little sucker to my plate. But it jumped! It left my chop stick grasp and landed in my lap covering my beige trousers in soy sauce and a greasy mark over both legs and on the crutch area. Damn!

Offensive or not?

Eventually it made it to my mouth and so did the fish maw. To be frank, sea cucumber is just weird. This is a technical term in the foodie world. I detected no flavour apart from the oil and soy sauce it had been cooked in so it was not offensive but I hated the jelly-like texture. As I chewed it just broke up into smaller jelly-like lumps in my mouth but never melted away like say a raspberry jelly does. The fish maw, see picture above, on the other hand was ok, not fishy. I had quite a few bits of it and now I have identified it I could now spot it at the local supermarket and purchase it for my own cooking (but I won't!).

The groupa was great and the orange dressing a delight.

lotus root

Lotus with black fungus and honey bean - quite nice although no distinguishable taste, it is the a textural difference between the ingredients which is to be appreciated.

cooked black fungus

Lost in Translation

Now don't be put off by the name. Fungus is merely a name for mushrooms and I guess that in translation this type of mushroom becomes fungus, after all that is what mushrooms are. This translation just doesn't sound too appetizing does it? Don't be frightened, try it!

Once the plates were cleared away (there was plenty of sea cucumber left for a doggy bag although I declined the offer - funny that?)

The obvious sequence of events leads us to dessert and the more weird stuff on the menu was just crying out to be tasted:-

Wolf berry and osmanthus jelly and

glutinous dark pudding with coconut

wolf or goji berry

Osmanthus dried flower

Have you got jam rolly polly and custard?

This turned out to be lumps of plain gelatin with a few bits of dried flower (can be used as tea) and chopped up wolf berry and sugar. Nothing of any significance. Is it that the Chinese just don't do puddings? For sure the cake in these parts is totally tasteless unless you happened to like synthetic cream and sponge. The glutinous dark pudding with coconut had a nice light flavour and was the texture of a mouse although brought back vivid memories of Angel Delight.

Not much gagging

So to sum up the array of flavours, textures and tastes delivered to our table during the evening were stimulating, interesting and - well to be honest - Chinese food flavour. It is all much of a muchness whatever the main ingredients are the cooking process (wok with soy sauce) is much the same for nearly every dish. On a more positive note there were no real retching or gag moments as I had imagined may happen. That would have been the worst case scenario and apart from the sea cucumber on the trousers it was actually rather pleasant and has opened my mind to, perhaps one day may be soon, ordering at least one dish I haven't tried before next time I find myself in a Chinese restaurant.

May 08, 2011

Strategic tourist destinations across the world have had the sense to restrict the building style and advertising to preserve the natural beauty, charm, tranquility and originality of the area. McDonald’s are only allowed to sell their tasty burgers on the Champs Elysees on condition they tone down their garish golden arches and red logo. They conformed so on that avenue the M is white. Sainsbury’s on Mayfair is situated in a stone built Victorian building and is restricted to keeping the original stone façade and window size to blend in with the elegant style of the area. On the island of Lanzarote the building of high rises and billboards competing for the attention of tourists was outlawed in the 1970s. Local artist, Cesar Manrique, saw the way other Spanish holiday resorts had been encased in a ‘concrete coffin’ and his influence means that today the island remains tranquil which is the reason tourists want to go there.

Some might say that Sai Kung, the back garden of Hong Kong is also a strategic tourist destination. So far no one has come up with the amazing new and revolutionary concept of opening a place that has rooms with beds in. People who don’t live in Sai Kung i.e. tourists, could, wait for it, sleep in the rooms overnight and then in the morning they could be given a breakfast. There is a charge for this service. Yes, that’s right it’s called - Bed and Breakfast – but it seems so far removed from the consciousness of any business person in Sai Kung who instead are stuck in the rut of opening up shops exclusively for dogs or the buying and selling of property. We do have to thank our lucky stars that the District Council allows alfresco dining these days although that seems to depend on the mood of the Fun Police who are in the habit of restricting the outside tables outside certain restaurants because…(answers on a postcard please). I cannot imagine that when tourists have a meal in the Piazza del Signoria in Florence the establishments are at risk of being asked to remove the outside tables. Of course not, they realize that is what people want the experience.

If we are all in agreement that Sai Kung is a strategic tourist destination then why oh, why oh (there it goes again) is the Flower Paint Factory on the approach to Sai Kung, the back garden of Hong Kong, allowed to have the most gigantic garish sign of all time placed on their hideous concrete building showing a complete lack of appreciation and concern for local residents with blatant disregard for the aesthetic of the town. Why does it feel the need to advertise anyway? It’s not like the general public can even go in there to buy paint so who exactly is the advert aimed at?

April 21, 2011

The Ritz Carlton Hotel is situated on 1 Austin Road, Kowloon. It is the highest hotel in the world.

More tea?

It is 1,600 ft high although I have a strong suspicion that it won't hold the record for long because someone somewhere will get all competitive and want to go to even giddier heights. The second, third and fourth highest hotels are in, surprise surprise, Dubai.

Flower arrangement Ritz Carlton The Lounge

Even though this building is even higher than the famous IFC (1364ft) I hadn't even noticed it! I put this down to being busy and having to go to work. I thought it was just me who didn't know about its opening at the end of March but no, I got in a taxi in Jordon and asked for "Ritz Carlton, 1 Austin Road m goi" I got the standard response 'Ha!' At first he attempted to drop me off at BP International House also on Austin Road but come on, it didn't even sound a bit like Ritz Carlton and is not very high at all! After one of those fraught journeys where the taxi driver talks on the phone in a confused way and gives you no confidence in actually getting to your destination he eventually made it and we ended as friends.

Before

After ...

HOW TO GET THERE

For future reference ask for Elements Shopping Mall and the Ritz Carlton is actually situated at the top of a building called International Commerce Centre ICC which is the last building on the road - THE TALLEST ONE! The hotel is actually perched on the top of the ICC on floors 102 to 118 and afternoon tea involves a lift ride with only stop from zero to floor 103 (it took ages and my ears popped) then a short escalator down one floor to The Lounge.

It is beautifully decorated with amazing views - obviously. The tea involves everything you'd expect - three tiered plate full of goodies and copious amounts of tea from a wide choice.

For an extra thrill you can go even higher to the bar on floor 118 Ozone which even has a partly open area and yesterday there was quite a chilly breeze blowing around there. I thought I was being quite brave getting close to the edge and looking down. Gulp!

Afternoon Tea at the Ritz Carlton, Hong Kong

The closest building on the right is the IFC, Hong Kong Side, across the harbour is the ICC - can you see me waving?

April 17, 2011

I have to admit to being not very well travelled when it comes to China. I have lived in SAR for nearly ten years now but have been some how magnetically repelled from the mainland because of the horror stories I hear on a daily basis about:-

dirty toilets

dirty air

dirty streets

dirty trains

Then there is the danger angle people like to thrap on about:-

risk of earthquake

risk of flood

Not to mention the general physical risks of:-

being robbed

being in a car accident

being swindled

Taking my life in my hands I visited Shanghai, China's most populous city to find it was none of those things and whats more I had a great time and came back all in one piece. I enjoyed it, I felt safe and I would go back.

ART

There is lots of art to see and the first stop was Shanghai Museum of Art situated next to the People's Park. At the moment there is an exhibition of American Print Makers and we saw famous pieces by Jasper John's and Jim Dine. After that we headed for 50 Moganshan Road which is a higgledy piggledy complex of converted warehouses filled with a vast variety of contemporary art. Hundreds of visitors are attracted to this area every day and as well as the art there are trendy cafes and coffee to be had. There is also the Museum of Modern Art, a state of the art glass building inside the People's Park but at the moment it just has a cafe inside - no art.

Pervert taking photograph of young girl's legs

THE PEOPLE'S PARK

The People's Park itself is a myriad of life. A well looked after garden plus a few small theme park rides, it attracts a variety of people. Sit on the grass and enjoy your picnic. Practise tai chi to your hearts content. Dress up in a panda outfit and thrill the children. Advertise your unmarried grown up children being available for marriage (there was loads of that). Play chess. Beg. Stop bewildered tourists and ask them questions to practise your English then offer to take them to a tea ceremony (we had that lots of times). All very friendly and non threatening. I was even protected from a particularly annoying beggar in the park by some Shanghai people who felt the need to keep me safe and send her on her way. They then translated what they had said for me which was basically 'get a job and stop bothering the tourist's!

Weeeee!

WANTED - GROOM FOR MY DAUGHTER

NANJING ROAD

Upon arrival on Nanjing Road pedestrian street the hawkers selling copy everythingyoucanthinkof pounced but being used to it on Nathan Road the usual technique of eyes front and ignore was implemented. Although I wasn't quite ready for the wheelie shoe sellers who zipped about on a type of roller skate wheel that can be attached to any shoe. They obviously felt that I was in the market for wheelie shoes but I politely declined, at first, after the 8th person zipping up to me on their trendy wheels I had had enough. That's when Fairy Land Foot Massage lit its beacon and led me up their wonderful staircase to wonderfulness. See previous blog.

We did The Bund. The most famous area by the river lined with magnificent historic stone built structures dating back to a time when the west had a strong influence on the city. On The Bund side of the river are the neo classical and art deco style buildings while across the river are the futuristic modern buildings all lit up and pretty. Having said that it was Earth Hour when we arrived which meant that most of the lights had been switched off for an hour so the impact of them all coming on again at 9.30pm was thrilling, albeit not environmentally that friendly!

JAZZ IN SHANGHAI

On The Bund is the Peace Hotel which contains a very cool jazz club. We look our positions on high stools at the bar and enjoyed the band. Wow! Excellent live music. I didn't enjoy the cigarette smoke quite so much and it was a surprise to be in a bar full of smoke these days. There is talk that China will ban smoking in public places very soon. Let's wait to see how it goes? A bit more jazz after the Peace Hotel involved a taxi ride to JZ Jazz Bar, 46 Fuxing Road, near Yongfu Road which was, again filled with smoke, and a zillion more people. It is Shanghai's hippest jazz club. After a difficult attempt at trying to get close to the stage and being told we had to pay 500 RMB for the privilege, we moved back to the free seating and let the jazz wash over us. Yeh daddio!

OLD SHANGHAI AND YU GARDENS

Next morning more exploring was on the itineray and a visit to Yu Gardens and Old Shanghai. It was crowed. Very crowded. But very exciting and filled with atmosphere and tourists being lead around by ladies in red caps and the dreaded electric megaphone. Oh dear! The buildings and temples were stunning and food stalls overwhelming. We made our way out of the more crowded tourist shuffle area down some back streets where the real people lived and enjoyed a lunch which was cooked for us as we watched. There were ceramic dishes already prepared with the ingredients, vegetables, fish or meat or just a veggie options with noodles or rice. Once you choose your dish it was placed over a gas flame until it bubbled and cooked everything. I think it was the original Pot Noodle.

So I wasn't in any danger as far as I know and I now know the horror stories are just that - stories. There was even a Marks & Spencers with a sale on with a great coat just wating for me!

April 03, 2011

Today I picked about 5lbs of strawberries on a pick-your-own-farm up towards Fanling in the New Territories. In fact it's almost in China and there is the border with a policeman and a big sign saying Permit Holders Only'. There is a big Buddhist temple on the right of Sha Tau Kok Road with many people burning paper offerings to their ancestors, some quite nice gardens with some carp swimming about although it could do with a clean and general prune. One Buddhist temple is much like any other round these parts but this one has stalls with dried and fresh produce for sale. The added bonus is the strawberry picking field.

My punnet (see below) cost $140 and right now I am making jam!

I would never have believed it possible but its really true. It is strawberry picking for softies in that the plants are grown on plastic sheeting so no need to get any dirty soil on your Guccis plus they provide a handy pair of kiddie scissors for snipping the stalks.

A basket full of strawberries $140 please

As well as that I have now made organic carrot and corriander soup. It's all good.

BREAKING NEWS - JAM IN JARS

Extra bonus addition to this blog - it is now Tuesday 5th April and the jam is now in jars.

The first attempt resulted in 4 jars of jam but it didn't set. So I put two jars back in the pan, added apple skin and boiled for longer. This resulted in set jam but it reduced down to only one jar. It is yummy but in no way economical.

April 01, 2011

After a tremendous amount of walking around Shanghai one Saturday on a weekend mini break our feet were throbbing and in need of some attention. We didn't plan to visit Fairyland Health and Beauty on Nanjing Pedestrian Street, it seemed to find us. I think it had a magnetic charm that lulled us up the stairs into completely unknown territory. There was a short period of uncertainty until I was sure it was a respectable establishment because its just awful when it's not, don't you just hate it when that happens?

RELAXING MUSIC

In the blink of an eye we were made comfortable in a darkened room with relaxing music and our feet were soaked in fragrant water while the masseurs paid our shoulders much need attention. A special bonus of a shoulder rub just to make up the time while the feet are cleansed and softened up ready for the foot massage.

HARD SKIN REMOVAL

The massage was excellent and I would have no reservations in recommending Fairyland if you are ever in need of stress relief and are in Shanghai at the same time. But actually the best bit was the hard skin removal service. For an extra 48 RMB a specially skilled man was summoned into the room yielding a blade. Or was it a scalpel or was it an incredibly sharp chisel? As I say it was a darkened room so it was hard to tell. But the hard skin removal master was well equipped to work on feet in a darkened room. He was wearing a head torch. I guess he had a been boy scout when he was younger so was always prepared. He set to work with the chisel and with the lightest touch he managed to shave off what looked like snow flakes from my feet. The towel was soon covered and I caught the masseurs looking sideways at each other at the surprising amount of dead skin building up as he dutifully shaved my feet.

The service was excellent, shoulder, feet and shaving of said feet. We floated out. Wow!

Hard skin removal man wearing head torch

The man in the head torch made Fairyland an extra special experience and I want him to come and live in our house.

March 31, 2011

Situated on Ya'an Dong Road, Shanghai this truly wonderful restaurant uses the flavours and ingredients of the Mountain Mekong Region to produce a spectacular menu. The dishes are influenced by flavours from Tibet, Burma, Thailand and the Yunnan Province of China. The layout and decor is visually stunning and so is the menu and so are the chairs and so are the photographs displayed around the walls showing breathtaking images of the Yunnan area taken by David Hartung. His photographs are also featured on the website if you care to check it out (Gallery). But the nitty gritty of any restaurant, regardless of its lovely chairs and interesting toilets, is the food. What does it taste like?

I'll tell you.

BEST FOOD EVER

At Lost Heaven I ate some of the best food I have ever had in my life. It sounds like hyperbole and exaggeration doesn't it? I really mean it. I am being honest about the flavours. So different, so refreshing and so scrumptious.

The Yunnan Wild Vegetable Cakes (SEE PICTURE) served with a tomato relish were simple, beautiful. I enjoyed the chicken with seven spices as well as the mixed vegetables in a tamarind sauce. The Crispy Pork was crispy, it was crackingly delicious. The Tea Leaf Salad, a speciality dish from Burma, was the best dish which consisted of finely chopped, freshly picked tea leaf tips with a mixture of dried broad beans, peanuts and other yummy stuff. I really don't know exactly what was in it I just know I needed to eat more of it.

Lost Heaven gets a huge thumbs up from me. When in Shanghai - go there.

February 12, 2011

The Talk of the Town is on the top floor of The Excelsior Hotel, Causeway Bay. There are many, many good reasons for a night out there.

Fantastic view over Victoria Harbour

TOTT has recently been renovated

There is an excellent band featuring Wendy

Nice comfy sofas

Excellent service

WHO GOES THERE?

The clientele can be a mixture of hotel guests, business men and tourists as well as a few couples having a romantic night out. Then there are the regulars who know the set list, the dance moves and the band. There is also a subtle presence of older singles on the look out for other older singles and, so I'm informed, one or two escorts.

GET UP AND DANCE

The best part of a night at The Talk of the Town is the dance floor and mainly because, unlike so many bars in Hong Kong, there is room to dance. I have been squashed in far too many small dance floors in Wan Chai or Lan Kwai Fong, where it is unpleasant and just about impossible to get in any sort of cool dance moves in.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA

Last night me and my friends were treated to a thrilling display of pumping, grinding, moshing, twirling and pelvic thrusting by a very sweet young lady, who I believe is called Svetlana. What a treat! Wearing a colourful array of tight lycra animal print from the Bet Lynch spring collection accessorized with touches of bling from Ratners she really stood out. It goes without saying that she could whip her hair back and forth and boy did she ever!

STOP THAT CAVORTING!

I have thought about her quite a lot today wondering if she is in traction for neck or pelvis problems due to far too much cavorting. But just a little message for her from all the other guests on the floor "Stop it!"

June 20, 2010

Years ago I used to be a swimming teacher and one of the rules about entering the swimming pool, for the males, was they should wear Speedos. It seemed very sensible and logical to me at the time. I even had a supply of spare ones for those silly boys who forget their own and foolishly turned up for swimming lessons wearing huge impractical board shorts. "No no no". I would say. "You can't move properly in the water wearing those ridiculous items. All that material flapping around your leg gets in the way of swimming, is uncomfortable and heavy when wet". And I sent them back to the changing rooms to put on the Speedos I very helpfully kept for such occasions.

SHOWING THIGHS

It was an international school. The Europeans never batted an eyelid at the rule. The Americans, well that was another matter. They hated wearing the Speedos and deemed them underwear. Even the youngest kindergarten kids thought of wearing Speedos for swimming in was showing your underwear to the world. The Arab kids hated them too, I guess it was an issue about showing thighs although I never really worked it out.

LYCRA

We had to lighten up on the rule after a while and relaxed it to allowing shorts that covered the leg as long as they were tight. That essentially meant the boys who couldn't cope with the classic Speedo swam in lycra cycling shorts.

I don't understand why it is unacceptable for men or boys, come to that, to wear Speedos in a public place. They are much much more practical for swimming in, sunbathing in and they dry quickly.

HUGE SHORTS

Why oh why are huge, garishly patterned extra long legged board short acceptable attire for swimming in? They are the most ridiculous item unless, of course, you are actually surfing and then they protect your legs from getting a nasty rash. But once out of the water should be removed so that the tops of the legs can be evenly tanned. Otherwise tops of boys legs remain a lily sickly white all year round and that is not a good look.

HAIR REMOVAL

Us females are required to remove all traces of pubic hair so that none of it sticks out from the edge of our tiny tiny bikini bottoms and we have to constantly be on guard against movement of the bikini top in case the tiny triangle moves to one side or the other and exposes a nipple! But men can be as hairy down below as they please and wear huge shorts to the pool.

Huge shorts do not disguise an expanding waist line or sagging pecs. The one piece for men has not caught on. The shorts don't hide anything apart from legs and I for one am not averse to looking at mens legs, whereas a flabby torso is not so good.

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

So are we talking about a fear of penis here? Is it that the wearing of Speedos means that we can make out the outline of the penis under the lycra? Why? Let's stop being scared of them and stop pretending they are not there.

AGREE WITH LESLEY

If you are a supporter of the wearing of Speedos make a banner and parade it around with you the next time you go swimming. I suggest I AGREE WITH LESLEY on your sign. Take a photo and post it on my blog to show your allegiance to the small Speedo instead of the silly board shorts.

March 28, 2010

Steamers is a Sai Kung institution. I highly recommend it. The staff are friendly and helpful and the food is delicious. They do a great curry as well as other gems from their, mostly, western menu. On Sundays it is an excellent choice of venue for a roast dinner which includes Yorkshire pudding. You get a huge pile of meat (beef, chicken or lamb) lashing of gravy and lots of veggies for under $100. Then there is their Full English Breakfast which is everything you'd expect and includes tea and toast. There is really more than you can eat (personal opinion obviously).

ALFRESCO DINING

The atmosphere changes depending on the time of day. It can be a quiet and peaceful place for breakfast or it can be full of sports fans enjoying the game and getting very vocal. The best thing about Steamers is the private court yard outside where you can sit and enjoy that fresh Sai Kung air (everything is just peachy in Sai Kung, don't listen to the API index!) and do a spot of people watching to your hearts content.

December 21, 2009

It has been said that I am a good cook. I think that I can produce some delicious meals with the help of my friends Jamie, Gordon and Delia. They have taught me a great deal in recent years and I have to mention the good grounding I got at home with my mother and grandmother who taught me the basics of pastry making, gravy making and the essential for all good northern women, the Yorkshire pudding.

Bad Cakes

I have never mastered cake making and the only woman who helps me with that is Bettie Crocker. And now that I am reminiscing about people who have helped my cooking skills along the way I have to mention Maurice. He is not a famous chef just a bloke I shared a house with for a year or two. The way I cook spag bol, beef stew (not so much of the white cabbage these days) is down to him, oh and OXO.

Turkey

But the way I cook the Christmas turkey is the Gary Rhodes way. One day I happened upon the said Mr Rhodes on the telly giving me the secret of the best way to cook the Christmas turkey. I taped it and have watched it every Christmas morning, just to refresh my memory, for the last 10 years. Its a winner every time and now, dear reader I am about to give you the knowledge.

Method

Once it is defrosted (don't think for a minute it is possible to buy a free range fresh turkey in Hong Kong). And while we are on the subject for those of you in Hong Kong, who actually have an oven, get your bird from the frozen butcher behind Steamers in Sai Kung. Mine was $177 for an 11 pound bird. Top tip - take out the giblets BEFORE cooking ( I speak from experience). Boil these up for the gravy.

The oven should be high for the first two hours - cover the bird with foil, for the last hour remove the foil so it gets a lovely golden brown.

Protect the Breast

The key is to protect the breast. I cannot stress this enough. Protect the breast. Gary showed me how to protect the breast and I've never looked back. Did I mention protect the breast - don't let it dry out.

Prise the skin away from the meat on the breast so it makes two pockets on top of the bird. Use at least 4 dessert spoons of butter and push it into the pockets between the skin and the meat. Really push your hand deep inside, underneath the skin. As you do this it will ease the skin away from the breast meat but be careful not to tear the skin. Once the butter is under the skin you can press it down, from the outside, to spread it over the breast. You can also add some herbs at this point, Jamie suggests balls of stuffing under the skin too.

Then use many many strips of streaky bacon to cover the whole of the bird including the legs. Do not scrimp on this bacon as this will stop the breast drying out in the cooking process. Lay the strips over the breast and make sure you lay it so it overlaps the previous piece. Its a bit like roofing. Leave no part of the breast or legs uncovered. A few thin bits randomly placed is not good enough. Remember, protecting the breast is key.

Stuff it

Stuff the
neck end with the stuffing of your choice. I use paxo and I am prepared
for a sharp intake of breath at this point. I don't make my own
because, frankly, I don't really like it but I put it in because its
traditional. Then sew up the flap of skin.. Don't put too much in or
it will burst out. If you can't bear the sewing you can just fold the
skin underneath or even stick it withtoothpicks.

Foil it

Place foil loosely over it, cook in the oven for prescribed amount of time. My 12 pounder will be in for about four hours and during that time I will be basting it regularly to protect that delicate breast. My turkey baster was bought from Pantry Magic in Sheung Wan.

Take the foil off for the last hour.

Sausages

You can also put sausages wrapped in bacon in the tray around the turkey during the cooking process. They will soak up the turkey and butter flavour and be yummy. I know that some people are passionate about the choice of sausage. I am not a purist when it comes to sausages. Walls pork are good enough for me.

Once it's cooked, and you can check this by stabbing into the meatiest part through the leg meat and into the body, the juices should run clear, if there is any blood then put it back in for a bit more. It will be OK as long as that breast is still covered in the bacon and you give it a good coat of the melted butter and other yummy juices from the tray.

Hot Gravy

Let it rest out of the oven for at least half an hour before carving. It can be longer. It doesn't really matter if it cools because your gravy will/should be piping hot.

You can make the gravy from the juices that run off as well as the liquid from the boiled up giblets, although a word of warning, it could be quite fatty what with all that butter. Spoon off the fat as much as you can before adding to your gravy. The turkey baster is jolly useful for this process.

Veg

Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, and cranberry sauce are essential as well as any other vegetable of your choice.

Do I need to say that it is essential to have Brussel sprouts? Whether you like them or not you just have to have at least one on Christmas Day otherwise its just not Christmas proper.

I have also just done a quick search on You Tube for tips on cooking turkey. There is no one like Gary so take no notice of them!

Enjoy the whole process and eat while wearing a silly paper hat from the cracker whilst laughing at the joke

June 18, 2009

The summer holidays are approaching and soon I will be visiting Blighty for a reminder of the culture I am deprived of. I haven't been home for a couple of years now so the lure of midget gems, fresh Cadbury's chocolate and cream cakes with real cream in them is becoming intense. The food hall at Marks and Spencer's and all those supermarkets with aisles big enough for 2 trolleys to pass each other with a vast amount of choice will be so lovely.

Fish, Chips, Mushy Peas, Bread and Butter, Mug of Tea

Yesterday as a pre holiday treat we went to eat at The Chippy. It is exactly what you imagine. It's a chip shop. A very British chip shop right in Central Hong Kong. They have recreated the grease and smell of a typical fish and chip shop with a menu that wouldn't be out of place in any town in the UK. Cod, chips, mushy peas a mug (yes a mug) of tea (Tetleys) and a slice of white bread and butter. Fish cakes, steak and kidney pie, chips and peas and then the deserts deep fried Mars bar. They also offer the full all day English breakfast with black pudding.

Cholestral Levels

It is all bad but all good on the same place. I just knew that grease was sticking to my arteries as I was savoring the scrumptious crispy batter on my lovely white flakes of deep fried cod and I knew the butter melting through the white slice as the heat of the chips warmed up the bread was raising my cholesterol levels but Lord I enjoyed it. The big mug of tea washed all the fat away and left me feeling cleansed yet belt loosening full.

Posh Chips

The decor was, obviously, white tiles with a touch of seaside blue dado, a wall of blackboard for the menu, rickety wooden tables all stocked with the condiments you expect. HP Brown Sauce, Heinz Tomato sauce, salt and yes you've guessed it - vinegar. The glass counter had pickled onions and pickled eggs on offer in large glass jars. The only pretentious features of The Chippy in Hong Kong, which you don't often get in England, is the reading material provided for customers - The Sunday Times Magazine. The background music was BBC Radio 2 live, via the internet. All a bit posh frankly but it's what us expats expect these days!

Home Sweet Home

The whole experience made us feel comfortable and at home. The only bad thing was knowing we were in Central and had to travel an hour back to the tranquility of Sai Kung in rush hour. Once our clothes are washed and the smell of deep fried fat is removed we'll be fine.

June 09, 2008

I do feel that expatriate life has an element of sadness to it because I miss my family back in England and would like to be in that situation where I can just call round for a cup of tea. Our visits back home have to be for weeks and our family needs to accommodate us, we can't just pop round.

My mother used to get so excited about our visits and upon our arrival the fridge would be full to bursting with everything Iceland had to offer. Baking would have been done and there would be pies and cakes and biscuits and crisps and sweets for the children. At an early point in our marriage my husband let on that his favourite dessert was trifle. My mother took this to heart and there would ALWAYS be a trifle there for him. "Oh you eat it" she would say, "No one else likes it". And so he was under pressure to consume the whole thing until nausea set in, feeling obliged to compliment the said trifle and feeling it was rude to turn it down when it was offered for afters EVERY time. The other thing that would be overwhelming was being given a run down on what food was available to us as soon as we had arrived. It was like listening to the longest list of 'specials' in a restaurant and, obviously, just having got off a long haul flight, we were unable to take in any information longer than 2 sentences.

So why is it that upon the imminent arrival of my first born back in Hong Kong yesterday, after his year at Uni in England, did I find myself in Wellcome Supermarket with a trolley full of food so heavy I could hardly push it round the shop and considered getting a second trolley?

And why is it that he feels no remorse to say. "No thanks Mum, I'm off to Sai Kung for Thai food"!

Obviously I have brought him up to be able to make those kind of decisions for himself and not consider the feelings of his poor old mother who was all prepared to 'feed him up'.

Why is food so important to mothers? Why is that my new silth like self' still wants to fill the cupboards up with sweet biscuits and crisps because the son is coming home and knowing perfectly well that he won't be interested in it because he can buy really nice, cheap food on the street. OK OK, its all my fault I know. Mothers are always to blame.

May 03, 2008

I have signed a petition objecting to the proposed new fangled food labelling law which could actually mean many food products from the UK, US and Australia would no longer be allowed in Hong Kong. It seems ironic that Hong Kong may ban foods from entering because they have claims printed on the packaging such as 'low sodium 'high omega 3' 'no trans fats'. Such items would not comply to the new food label rules and, therefore, not allowed through customs.

The shelves of expat frequented supermarkets could be spartan with a black market trade in Weetabix (no added sugar) and low calorie Weight Watchers rice pudding! We would be forced to buy red bean dessert (high in sugar but because it doesn't say so on the label it's OK) and frozen deep fried chicken dumplings (high in cholesterol and fat but because it doesn't say so it's also OK). I have copied the following articles from the US Consulate and the HK Government web pages to through a bit more light on the matter.

Speeches and Articles by U.S. Consul General James B. Cunningham

Nutrition Labeling Regulation Proposal Will Reduce Healthy Choices

April 15, 2008

(This article was published by South China Morning Post on April 15, 2008, and this article is not for commercial use.)

One of the Hong Kong daily papers recently ran an editorial supporting the Hong Kong government's food labeling proposal, gazetted on April 3. I was pleased to see that to illustrate the desirability of a quality labeling regime, the paper used a U.S. nutrition label. We consider the U.S. regime to be among the best and most demanding in the world, and want consumers to have good information about what they eat. The irony here, though, is that under the proposal in its current form, many American products bearing that label will be effectively excluded from the Hong Kong market.

One of the pillars of Hong Kong's status as an international city is the tremendous variety and quality of its food choices. The cosmopolitan makeup of Hong Kong's population and its pragmatic regulatory regime have given its residents access to the newest, the finest and the healthiest products the world has to offer. This appealing characteristic will change if the labeling proposal takes effect as currently written. Though well-intentioned, the proposal will significantly reduce the variety of healthier food choices for Hong Kong consumers. It will also raise prices and contribute to inflation.

The policy objectives behind the labeling amendment are laudable: to help consumers make informed food choices, to encourage manufacturers to apply sound nutrition principles, and to prevent misleading or false labels and claims. But, despite its overwhelming dependence on imported food, Hong Kong authorities have devised a labeling scheme unique in the world. Most products would have to be relabeled and many would have to undergo new nutritional analysis to comply with the government's regulation. For a market of just seven million people, these added costs will make the importation of many products unfeasible.

Hong Kong's proposal is also far more rigid than other major importers, including mainland China, Japan and Korea. Singapore -- a market that also carefully protects its consumers -- has a flexible system that accommodates the various labeling standards of its principal suppliers.

Hong Kong's inclusion of a "small volume exemption" (i.e., not requiring re-labeling for products selling fewer than 30,000 units) is important and will doubtless keep many products in the market. However, it will make it more difficult and more costly to import healthier foods. This is because the small volume exemption to Hong Kong's rigid requirements is lost if the packaging contains a nutritional claim such as "low fat," "low sodium," or "high in vitamin A".

This is not an issue of labeling versus non-labeling, or of Hong Kong's right to set its own standards. It is an issue of rigid standards that unnecessarily reduce consumer choice versus more flexible ones. Virtually every one of the tens of thousands of imported items that make a nutritional claim already provides detailed nutritional information on the package. For example, products from the U.S. are labeled according to U.S. law, which is the world's most stringent. They do not, however, comply with Hong Kong's proposal. If not relabeled precisely according to the Hong Kong standard, these products will be banned. The economic reality of today's highly efficient and innovative food processing industry is that many of these foods will disappear from the Hong Kong market.

Clearly, the growing number of Hong Kong consumers who depend on products with claims for medical reasons (such as products for diabetics labeled "sugar-free"), or simply for their general health, will be seriously affected by this legislation. Moreover, if passed in its current form, the amendment will make Hong Kong people among the last instead of the first to gain access to newer and better foods. By imposing high registration, nutritional analysis, and relabeling costs on products with claims, test marketing new foods becomes expensive and complicated.

There is a simple solution. Hong Kong should broaden the small volume exemption to include food products that make nutritional claims. This would allow today's flexible labeling standards to apply to foods until sales reach a level that economically allows them to comply with the new Hong Kong scheme. This would go a long way in preserving the wonderful diversity of food that is a unique part of the fabric of "Asia's world city." Moreover, it would do so without undermining the objectives of this important legislation.

January 12, 2008

I was told it was closing down but no one prepared me for the empty feeling that hit my gut.I was bereft.I was gutted.I was devastated when I saw the empty shell of Steamers.The shell is all that is left now that the beating heart of Sai Kung has been unceremoniously ripped out and cast aside as if it was only another superfluous estate agent or pet shop.

I knew it was going to happen but I was in denial.In my heart of hearts I didn’t honestly think that one day Steamers would be gone.That popular spot on the corner, so convenient for taxis and for spotting who was (still) in there, was the reason why so many expats migrate to Sai Kung.That particular corner had a warm and fuzzy feeling and it wasn’t only due to the Tetleys.It was so comforting to know that arrangements could be made and gossip caught up with.All that was necessary was “Meet you at Steamers” and everything was just fine and dandy.

This is yet another greedy landlord story.The landlord put the rent up and a global franchise who can afford to pay the exorbitant new rate are, reputedly, willing to cough up.

The photo was taken this morning.I had to choke back the tears and try my very best to keep my hand steady to get this shot.I’ve heard that a support group for previous Steamers customers is being formed where counseling will be given by professionals who can albeit attempt to get people through this very difficult time.

September 27, 2007

We are all sinners – it doesn’t matter what we try to do, each day there is a new scientific breakthrough announcing something new (usually fun stuff) that is bad for us.Sex, drugs and rock and roll are all bad for us.Everything useful is bad.Using the Internet can become addictive.Making calls on our mobile phone can fry our brains.Covering our food with cling film and then using it in the microwave can give us cancer.Apples are now coated in so many chemicals they are dangerous.Everything we do is bad for the environment. It’s impossible to be good.

The supermarket is a veritable minefield.We all need to become nutrition experts to understand the real message on packaging.Those handy and so called healthy cereal bars that have ‘low fat’ printed on the label in big letters also have ‘loads of sugar’ printed in small letters on the back which of course will turn into high fat once eaten.Boxes of cereal with happy cartoon pictures of monkeys or tigers printed on them in order to cause arguments between mothers and children and cause embarrassment and generally high stress levels for all concerned are the most unhealthy product.They want us to think that they are full of vitamins that will aid the growth of our offspring.But those little balls of chocolate flavoured sugar for breakfast are most undesirable, ask any primary teacher!Don’t be fooled.They are full of the dreaded and nasty white stuff. Sugar.

Now I am not one to be a scare mongering alarmist, but all you sinners out there beware of the white stuff.Ignore the advertisers ‘low fat’ labels because it’s the white stuff that should be avoided.But be extra careful out there, the white stuff, meaning sugar is not the only dangerous substance. White flour and anything made with it is linked to late on set type 2 diabetes.Never mind the horror of cigarettes and alcohol, be afraid of all biscuits (yes, even McVities half coated digestives – I’m sorry!), all cake, even when its your birthday, white bread and pasta are all made with white flour.

Real Facts Alert! Alloxan is the name of the substance that makes flour beautifully white.Scientists have known that there is a link between alloxan and diabetes but it is not widely advertised by the food industry because…well they want us to keep lining their pockets with our dosh obviously.But be wise oh gentle consumer.Go Whole.Do your insides a favour and convert, starting from tomorrow, to whole wheat everything.And I don’t want to hear any of your winging about loving Mighty white or Mothers Pride. It’s not real food.In fact all bakers in Hong Kong need a good talking to because it is near impossible to buy any whole wheat product in a local bakery.This, I am informed, is the fault of the western influence in Asia.As well as introducing a taste for processed white flour products we also introduced the taste for white milled or polished rice.Up until us westerners started interfering with the diet in these parts all rice was brown. Oh no! Another sin.