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Do you remember where you were when Batman V Superman was announced? When the first glimpse of Avatar was bestowed upon the world? Probably not, but for the Comic-Con faithful, these moments are gospel. San Diego Comic-Con has become the destination for any geek worth his salt, and a select few moments throughout the convention's history have become legendary to fans across the world. Here are the most memorable moments from Comic-Cons past.
The Batman V Superman announcementRight at the tail end of the 2013 Warner Bros. panel, a Jittery Zack Snyder turned up to announce that he was working on a sequel to Man of Steel. Then, with help from the booming voice of Harry Lennix and a choice excerpt from Frank Miller's classic Batman tale The Dark Knight Returns, Warner Bros. dropped a bomb on Hall H with the announcement of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (which was then untitled). When the logo blazed on screen with all its glory, SDCC 2013 had hit its definitive peak.
Michael Keaton earns the cowlEveryone remembers the ballyhoo made about Heath Ledger being cast as the Joker in 2008's The Dark Knight, but comic book fans had been complaining about casting long before then. All the way back at Comic-Con 1988, the fervor about the new Batman movie was high; many fans didn't think Michael Keaton could pull off the Caped Crusader. But most of these detractors quieted down when the original creator of Batman, Bob Kane himself, stopped by the Con and gave the actor and Tim Burton's production his blessing via a set visit. He also showed up with a ton of set photos and production designs to ensure fans that his creation was in good hands.
Twilight comes to Comic-ConFor nearly 40 years, Comic-Con had been a place for more male-focused geekery. But in 2008, the playing field was leveled when the Twilight saga was given a panel in the hallowed nerd pantheon that is Hall H. This of course brought droves of Twilight fans to the convention center, who of course butted heads with seasoned veterans of the Con who though the new visitors didn't belong. But Twilight's domination of that year's festivities were undeniable. The vamps were here to stay.
The Avatar preview screeningIf there's one thing to learn from Comic-Con, it's that you shouldn't always buy into the hype. Hyperbole flows through San Diego like a river, and people will champion anything and everything as a gamechanger. But the hype around the preview screening of Avatar at 2009's convention was so massive, it was hard not to believe. The preview of James Cameron's spectacle-laden adventure left many Con-goers slack-jawed with awe.
The Avengers assemble in Hall HJoss Whedon has long been a popular face at comic-con, but he might as well have been coronated as king when he brought every member of The Avengers on stage for the first time in 2010. It was a moment that Marvel studios had been steadily building up to for years, but seeing all of those heroes (albiet in street clothes) in one place at the same time was magical.
The Iron Man trailer premiereUnsuspecting fans at the first ever Iron Man panel were greeted with a surprise visit from Jon Favreau, and an even bigger surprise: the first look at a new trailer for Iron Man. The trailer was only a few seconds long, showing Iron Man shooting through the sky, but it was enough to send the hype for the upcoming film skyrocketing. It was surefire proof that Marvel was doing right by all these heroes.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World wows the crowdIn a rare treat, fans at the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World panel were treated to a screening of the film. Edgar Wright's dazzling comic book adaptation won heaps of praise from attendees, and Hollywood's relationship with the convention was riding high. Unfortunately, the studios soon found out the convention hype doesn't always equal ticket sales, and the film fizzled out of the box-office without recouping it's budget.
Karen Gillan goes baldMaybe it was just a really convincing wig, maybe we just couldn't wrap our heads around those deep red locks being fake, or maybe we just don't usually expect to see people ripping hair off of their heads at Comic-Con. But at the panel for Guardians of the Galaxy, after being confronted by host Chris Hardwick with accusations that her character in the upcoming space opera is bald in the comics, the actor unleashed her buzzed head to the world, and everyone lost their minds.
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Walt Disney Pictures/Marvel
San Diego Comic-Con is nerd culture's second Christmas, and every year the annual ode to all things geek gets bigger and better, with film studios jostling each other for the biggest moment of the weekend. This year, the con's legendary Hall H will likely be the home of some game-changing reveals, dizzying sizzle reels, and exclusive trailers that may just be worth the dozen or so hours of waiting on line to get in. Here's a look at what we're expecting from the big film studio panels at Comic-Con:
Warner Bros.
Jupiter Ascending: The Wachowskis' latest, Jupiter Ascending, was supposed to make landfall this summer but was delayed just a few weeks away from its expected release date and sent to February — which is basically Hollywood's graveyard for lackluster films. This year's con has to be all about assuaging fears and ensuring fans that the film isn't a complete disaster. Showing a lengthy, eye-popping sequence from the film would be a great way to keep expectant fans at ease.
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies: As it turns the bend toward the final film in the franchise, The Hobbit series is pretty much in cruise control. We know what to expect from Peter Jackson's last hurrah in the Tolkien-verse but flames can still be fanned. We're hoping for some new footage for the upcoming film and more, since Jackson will be in attendance.
Mad Max: Fury Road: We've seen some dusty set photos from this post-apocalyptic epic, and the cast looks appropriately dirty and world weary, but what we really want to see is some footage. Since the film is set to release next May, a trailer of some sort is surely imminent.
Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice: Curiously absent from the list of films showing at the Warner Bros. panel, Dawn of Justice is the biggest question mark of the con. Can Warner Bros. really walk into Hall H without a bit of Batman up their sleeves? We're gonna go with no. We're betting the studio is saving something huge for a giant payload of hype to end their conference with. If not, then Marvel has already won Comic-Con - if you believe in the notion of winning these sorts of things. Considering we've already seen glimpses of Affleck kitted out in the Bat Suit and the new Bat Mobile, we're gonna need something pretty cool.
Marvel
Avengers: Age of Ultron: Marvel's Avengers sequel is bar-none the biggest film at the con, and since the film has been shooting for months at this point, and the cast is descending on San Diego for the event, there's definitely going to be something big showing. If not, expect San Diego to be scorched to the earth in the ensuing fan rage.
Ant-Man: After losing longtime director Edgar Wright and a very worrying scramble to find a suitable replacement, Ant-Man, formerly Marvel's most promising film, is looking worse for wear. Some fans even swore off the film entirely the second Wright was jettisoned from the project. Some serious damage control is on the bill this year. The studio needs to show something tangible, like a costume or some early footage, to get the hype machine rolling again.
Guardians of the Galaxy: Since Guardians is so close to release, some Hall H faithful are expecting a screening of the film. We're doubtful that Marvel will preview the entire movie, but we are expecting to see a lengthy preview of the film. Perhaps something like the 17 minutes of the finished film shown to journalists earlier this month.
Everything Else: Sure, Marvel is king of the mountain now, but keeping that title means keeping everyone happy in the near and distant future. Marvel should add a couple more pin-drops to their map of Phase 3, and announce some anticipated films like Black Panther and Captain Marvel, but also dish about upcoming projects like Thor 3 and Doctor Strange.
20th Century Fox
X-Men: Apocalypse: Since Days of Future Past just dropped earlier this summer, we're not expecting a whole lot on the X-Men side of things, but the studio would be remiss if they didn't at least hint at something X-Men related, especially given the great post-credit sequence at the end of the last film.Fantastic Four: With its oddball casting, Fantastic Four might be the most heavily scrutinized superhero film to appear at the con. Since shooting has already begun, Fox needs to prove to fans that they know what they're doing. Some test footage from the project would be great.
Everything Else: Everyone's making huge, interconnected franchises these days, and we wonder if Fox will put it's own hat in the ring. Even though their list of properties is pretty scant, the promise of a sprawling blockbuster universe might be too appealing to resist. Can there be a X-Men/Fantastic Four meet-up? Stranger things have happened. Otherwise, also expect additional news and clips from Let's Be Cops, The Maze Runner, The Book of Life, Kingsman: The Secret Service, and hopefully, a first trailer for Hitman: Agent 47.
ParamountTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The film is basically out at this point, so there really isn't much to do besides add some last minute fuel to the hype machine. The film does have its share of detractors due to Michael Bay's involvement and a mixed reaction to the new turtle designs. An early screening to Comic-Con attendees might win the film some brownie points with fans.
Interstellar: This is one instance where less is most certainly more. Christopher Nolan's mysterious space adventure is probably the year's biggest question mark, and that's the way things should be. Universal should keep its cards close to its vest and let the enigmatic nature of the project be its own marketing tool. The Nolan pedigree will likely brig in a big audience. A new trailer would be fine, but lets keep the plot points to a minimum.
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After Dark Films
It seems a bit odd to take on a movie review of Courtney Solomon's Getaway, as only in the loosest terms is Getaway actually a movie. We begin without questions — other than a vague and frustrating "What the hell is going on?" — and end without answers, watching Ethan Hawke drive his car into things (and people) for the hour and a half in between. We learn very little along the way, probed to engage in the mystery of the journey. But we don't, because there's no reason to.
There's not a single reason to wonder about any of the things that happen to Hawke's former racecar driver/reformed criminal — forced to carry out a series of felonious commands by a mysterious stranger who is holding his wife hostage — because there doesn't seem to be a single ounce of thought poured into him beyond what he see. We learn, via exposition delivered by him to gun-toting computer whiz Selena Gomez, that he "did some bad things" before meeting the love of his life and deciding to put that all behind him. Then, we stop learning. We stop thinking. We start crashing into police cars and Christmas trees and power plants.
Why is Selena Gomez along for the ride? Well, the beginnings of her involvement are defensible: Hawke is carrying out his slew of vehicular crimes in a stolen car. It's her car. And she's on a rampage to get it back. But unaware of what she's getting herself into, Gomez confronts an idling Hawke with a gun, is yanked into the automobile, and forced to sit shotgun while the rest of the driver's "assignments" are carried out. But her willingness to stick by Hawke after hearing his story is ludicrous. Their immediate bickering falls closer to catty sexual tension than it does to genuine derision and fear (you know, the sort of feelings you'd have for someone who held you up or forced you into accessorizing a buffet of life-threatening crimes).
After Dark Films
The "gradual" reversal of their relationship is treated like something we should root for. But with so little meat packed into either character, the interwoven scenes of Hawke and Gomez warming up to each other and becoming a team in the quest to save the former's wife serve more than anything else as a breather from all the grotesque, impatient, deliberately unappealing scenes of city wreckage.
And as far as consolidating the mystery, the film isn't interested in that either, as evidenced by its final moments. Instead of pressing focus on the answers to whatever questions we may have, the movie's ultimate reveal is so weak, unsubstantial, and entirely disconnected to the story entirely, that it seems almost offensive to whatever semblance of a film might exist here to go out on this note. Offensive to the idea of film and story in general, as a matter of fact. But Getaway isn't concerned with these notions. Not with story, character, logic, or humanity. It just wants to show us a bunch of car crashes and explosions. So you'd think it might have at least made those look a little better.
1/5
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This is a message from the converted: Nicki Minaj is a fantastic American Idol judge. The best. Magnificent. More valuable than she could possibly know.
Yet, if you were speaking to me approximately a week and a half ago, I’d have told you all this Minaj nonsense would be the death of Idol and that her Twitter rants were only the tip of the iceberg. I can say it now: I was so, so wrong. Nicki, I love you.
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The rapper is the youngest member of the judging panel at age 30, and compared to Mariah Carey, Randy Jackson, and Keith Urban (who also judged the Australian version of The Voice), her expertise in judging and producing music is far more limited. Of course we were wary when she burst onto the scene with snide looks for Mariah and her never-ending barrage of ridiculous nicknames. (Yes, that pasty, boring kid from Tennessee named Joel should definitely go around calling himself Jumanji.) What is she bringing to the table? And why does she keep calling everyone she likes “a staaaar”? And what possesses her to speak in a British accent randomly? The answers are: She’s bringing Nicki to the table, and she does those things because she’s Nicki-freaking-Minaj and that’s what Nicki-freaking-Minaj does. And it’s great.
Now, naysayers, stay with me for a moment. Since Simon Cowell got tired and tuned out during Season 9 and then left us with the clueless patrol in Seasons 10 and 11 (sorry, Steven and JLo), Idol has lacked that special something. Sure, we’ve fallen in love with contestants (America sure fell hard for Mr. Phillip Phillips), but the judges have simply been there, woken up occasionally by the loud isms and wasms of Steven Tyler and the periodical misunderstandings of the way things like fish work by Randy and his all-powerful Yo pin. We yearned week in and week out for the wise, and sometimes harsh, words of mega-producer and mentor Jimmy Iovine, because our regular panel lacked teeth. With Nicki at the table, that’s not a problem anymore. (But, don’t leave us, Jimmy!) Nicki brings out the harder sides of her fellow judges.
RELATED: The 'American Idol' Effect: Our Addiction the Culture of Tragedy
This year, Randy is far more inclined to tell a contestant, “You’re tone deaf, dawg.” And he actually did. Whereas he would mask his true feelings with niceties in the past, or be buried under Simon’s avalanche of mean on the original panel, Randy gets to throw his 30 years of music biz know-how around. And it’s because Nicki is there. It’s because she fosters an atmosphere in which anything goes, from calling a tone-deaf contestant “boo-boo” and giving him puppy dog eyes, to teasing a young woman for her last name resembling a ladies’ nether regions (ahem, Bush), to telling Mariah “she’s a b***h” within 10 minutes of their first audition session. Nicki is a loose cannon in an ever-changing wardrobe of technicolor dreams. Plus, she is the most entertaining judge we’ve seen on this show since Simon.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying the girl is Simon. She consistently favors contestants’ looks, style, and general air of awesomeness over their talent and you can see her fighting to enjoy a country singer, no matter how close their voices come to making angels weep tears of joy. If she hates your voice, she'll find something nice to say about you or a complete non-sequitur to soften the blow. She’s not going to tell someone where their technical flaws lie and she’s not about to tell anyone they’re “delusional” (one of Simon’s favorite words). She’s not in charge, but she's the inadvertent taste-maker. She’s the new judge to love, hate, and obsess over. She’s the one we’re here to see. Why else would the panel have a fourth judge? Nicki is the ace in the hole.
Wednesday night’s walkout incident was only further ammunition for why: She’s an atypical judge and she knows it. The fight that stopped the Charlotte auditions was initiated because Nicki felt marginalized. She felt like her vision for contestants was at odds with Randy’s and Mariah’s vision, and when Randy threw out his “30 years of experience” as justification, Nicki didn’t fire back with some overconfident remark. She was legitimately hurt: She’s the outsider, and Randy’s retort shook her confidence, so she retreated to lick her wounds. Nicki doesn’t have the upper hand. She’s the newcomer, the underdog, and very often the black sheep. How could you not love her? She’s doing everything she can to make her mark, and she’s doing so by being her outrageous, weird self. In what other year would someone like Chicago’s androgynous Kez Ban be so heralded? When else would we spend so much time getting to know an outrageous attention hog with a collection of blonde and pink wigs like Ashley Smith from Charlotte? Only during the reign of Nicki.
Let’s face it. We’re in the era of the new American Idol and the new Idol is Nicki.
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[Photo Credit: Fox]
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David Mitchell's novel Cloud Atlas consists of six stories set in various periods between 1850 and a time far into Earth's post-apocalyptic future. Each segment lives on its own the previous first person account picked up and read by a character in its successor creating connective tissue between each moment in time. The various stories remain intact for Tom Tykwer's (Run Lola Run) Lana Wachowski's and Andy Wachowski's (The Matrix) film adaptation which debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival. The massive change comes from the interweaving of the book's parts into one three-hour saga — a move that elevates the material and transforms Cloud Atlas in to a work of epic proportions.
Don't be turned off by the runtime — Cloud Atlas moves at lightning pace as it cuts back and forth between its various threads: an American notary sailing the Pacific; a budding musician tasked with transcribing the hummings of an accomplished 1930's composer; a '70s-era investigatory journalist who uncovers a nefarious plot tied to the local nuclear power plant; a book publisher in 2012 who goes on the run from gangsters only to be incarcerated in a nursing home; Sonmi~451 a clone in Neo Seoul who takes on the oppressive government that enslaves her; and a primitive human from the future who teams with one of the few remaining technologically-advanced Earthlings in order to survive. Dense but so was the unfamiliar world of The Matrix. Cloud Atlas has more moving parts than the Wachowskis' seminal sci-fi flick but with additional ambition to boot. Every second is a sight to behold.
The members of the directing trio are known for their visual prowess but Cloud Atlas is a movie about juxtaposition. The art of editing is normally a seamless one — unless someone is really into the craft the cutting of a film is rarely a post-viewing talking point — but Cloud Atlas turns the editor into one of the cast members an obvious player who ties the film together with brilliant cross-cutting and overlapping dialogue. Timothy Cavendish the elderly publisher could be musing on his need to escape and the film will wander to the events of Sonmi~451 or the tortured music apprentice Robert Frobisher also feeling the impulse to run. The details of each world seep into one another but the real joy comes from watching each carefully selected scene fall into place. You never feel lost in Cloud Atlas even when Tykwer and the Wachowskis have infused three action sequences — a gritty car chase in the '70s a kinetic chase through Neo Seoul and a foot race through the forests of future millennia — into one extended set piece. This is a unified film with distinct parts echoing the themes of human interconnectivity.
The biggest treat is watching Cloud Atlas' ensemble tackle the diverse array of characters sprinkled into the stories. No film in recent memory has afforded a cast this type of opportunity yet another form of juxtaposition that wows. Within a few seconds Tom Hanks will go from near-neanderthal to British gangster to wily 19th century doctor. Halle Berry Hugh Grant Jim Sturgess Jim Broadbent Ben Whishaw Hugo Weaving and Susan Sarandon play the same game taking on roles of different sexes races and the like. (Weaving as an evil nurse returning to his Priscilla Queen of the Desert cross-dressing roots is mind-blowing.) The cast's dedication to inhabiting their roles on every level helps us quickly understand the worlds. We know it's Halle Berry behind the fair skinned wife of the lunatic composer but she's never playing Halle Berry. Even when the actors are playing variations on themselves they're glowing with the film's overall epic feel. Jim Broadbent's wickedly funny modern segment a Tykwer creation that packs a particularly German sense of humor is on a smaller scale than the rest of the film but the actor never dials it down. Every story character and scene in Cloud Atlas commits to a style. That diversity keeps the swirling maelstrom of a movie in check.
Cloud Atlas poses big questions without losing track of its human element the characters at the heart of each story. A slower moment or two may have helped the Wachowskis' and Tykwer's film to hit a powerful emotional chord but the finished product still proves mainstream movies can ask questions while laying over explosive action scenes. This year there won't be a bigger movie in terms of scope in terms of ideas and in terms of heart than Cloud Atlas.
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Hanna is the laziest person in the history of Lazy Rosewood because Hanna will not help PornStarMom move this random giant plant in the middle of their home. Okay. This is a really weird/awkward way to start the episode, because all of a sudden we’re discussing this… plant. The plant ends up being fake-not-really important because when Hanna finally decides to stand up, she notices a secret old rainy note on the ground. Hanna is the laziest person ever. The note is from Maya, starting with an apology but also saying that she had something to tell Emily. Maya also explains that her cellphone was stolen, which is something you would know in 2.7 seconds of it happening with Facebook and Twitter and everything. Maya wrote the note the day that she died, which is awful. However, it seems that Maya’s death wasn’t as convenient as Ali’s Labor Day demise. I love hearing Spencer talk about Labor Day, because Spencer is really smart and knows that date of Labor Date.
Meanwhile, in the Kingdom of the Pedophile Professor, I made a major mistake in last week’s recap! I just assumed that Ezra’s Mother paid for an abortion, but I guess it would make more sense if Mother just made the pregnant girlfriend disappear. That still doesn’t really solve the issue of Ezra being the father of a child, but it is what it is and this is Pretty Little Liars, people. Ezra and Aria make super uncomfortable morning banter while Aria puts cream cheese on 17 jalapeno pepper bagels. I didn’t know that was a thing – jalapeno pepper bagels – and I wish I still didn’t know; Ezra and I are in the same boat here. Aria begins asking a lot of questions about Maggie; Ezra is like, “UMM sorry I didn’t tell you all of my secrets the first time I met you” while Aria is all, “UMM sorry I’m not sorry that my secrets are the most serious thing ever in the history of the human race or the universe.”
I don’t understand when the Liars have school and when they have free time because it seems like everyone just goes to school to talk on the cellphone in the hallway or to eat vegetables for lunch. Hanna is stalking Maya’s videos like her life depends on it (it probably does) at the local coffee shop when Wren appears out of the ether. HOT BRITISH DOCTOR!!! KISS HIM, HANNA!!! Hanna says she will not kiss him, but Wren proves that he is the most understanding gentleman and leaves.
Spencer spends all of her time at school, as she is the only high school senior in Rosewood that’s even remotely concerned about getting into college. However, she also spends a lot of time not doing school things. Spencer has a long chat with Emily about Maya, and about how no one cares that Nate is super creepy. Also, Toby is working out in Bucks County for the time being, which means that he is either visiting my cousins that live in Bucks County or he is visiting the set of a M. Light Shyamalan movie. Emily thinks that lying to Toby would be like “lying to the Dalai Lama.” NOPE. Toby is an evil teenage werewolf! Spencer is also freaking out about getting a B in one of her classes (“B is for bad”). Be less boring here, ladies. The conversation ends when Paige arrives wearing a LESBIAN AMERICAN BIKER CUT-OFF and Spencer runs away in fear.
Cute Punky Wannabe Ryan Gosling Coffee Shop Owner, known to everyone on the show as Zach, is on a question mark date with Aria’s Mom literally in the middle of her classroom. Zach is wearing a CLASH shirt and a leather jacket, so he is clearly super alternative but not scary alternative. Zach talks about having a “cannoli to stuff,” makes out with Aria’s Mom in the middle of the school, and has awkward banter with Aria. I think the old-young dynamic going on in the love lives of both Aria and her mother is really interesting. It made me squeal, if I’m going to be really honest with you all. However, Aria’s Mom is dating 1,024 people at the same time due to her dating website profile; she doesn’t want to settle down with Zach just yet, and PornStarMom taught her to be an independent slut.
Hanna has become super creepy bizarre about Maya. Like, this is some Claire Danes on Homeland episode 109 business (that episode is titled “The Vest” – I will not ruin anything because I hate spoilers and Homeland is amazing and at the end of that episode I was actually shaking). Hanna printed out every single picture of Maya from the awful cursed Maya website, and even Emily is not getting good vibes. Hanna reveals that she is basically secret dating Caleb, but needs to keep everything a secret so A doesn’t target Caleb. That’s really smart. The pictures lead to the revelation that Maya was visiting Noel Kahn’s cabin the night she died. Yikes.
A bunch of weird random stuff occurs that isn’t really important. Basically – Nate is the worst, Paige is a bad swimmer now, and Spencer sneaks into the men’s locker room during football practice to steal from Noel. The whole Spencer shebang felt like an expensive set-up for bad porn. Emily and Hanna decide to sneak around the Kahn cabin to find missing clues, and Spencer decides she is not starring in a porno.
The Kahn cabin is a mess. The Kahn brothers need to learn how to clean up, because these girls are finding the mess in the middle of the week and I believe the Kahn brothers throw their shindigs on Friday nights. Hanna sneaks into the biggest board game closet ever, and finds a secret door behind the game cabinet. Hanna has sleuthing superpowers. Inside the secret room is a gross sleeping bag and a stool that you can maybe buy from IKEA. Maya has a card that Emily made for Ali on her 14th birthday in some luggage that was left behind in the back room, which is the creepiest. Creepier than every doll combined. BUT, SUDDENLY, HANNA AND EMILY ARE LOCKED IN. Duh. This was never going to end well.
Spencer is out of the loop – she failed at stealing things from Noel’s football locker, and she failed at having sex with the entire football team in the showers. Lose-lose. However, Spencer gets a blocked email that links to… nighttime footage of the outside of the Kahn cabin? Who has nighttime security footage of their frat pad? Who knows how to send a blocked email? Spencer keeps a lot of handy notes on her iPad, so she knows that the footage comes from the night of Maya’s murder. The Kahn cabin has become such a staple this season, which I really appreciate because the writers did not create a brand new character/location to make all of this madness occur. That is what usually happens, and I’m not complaining, but yeah.
While three Liars are risking their lives (and sexual porno integrity) to discover what happened to Maya, Aria is gossiping with her mother about this new boytoy. Aria tells Zach that she will crush the coffee shop scones if he hurts her mother. That’s kind of kinky! Scones! Aria and Mom do yoga together and chat about Zach. Mom decides she’s ready to go for the gold with Mom. Zach thinks Mom is really sexy. Go, Mom, GO.
Hanna and Emily are trapped in this cabin. TRAPPED. Everything is dark, everything is boarded up, everything is the worst. Hanna gets stabbed in the leg. This is not a joke. There is blood all over Hanna’s tight pink jeans. Emily turns into Xena Princess Warrior and hacks her way through the boarded up window with either a baseball bat or an ax; it was dark, so I couldn’t see the weapon. The ladies escape, but Hanna can barely walk because she is bleeding. Do people bleed on PLL? I feel like this has never happened before, and it is h-o-r-r-i-f-y-i-n-g. We get a note in red spray paint on the side of the cabin: I’M SAVING YOU FOR LATER –A. THAT IS HORRIFYING.
When Emily and Hanna finally make it home, Emily knows that Hanna’s leg is in trouble – “It’s not a cut. It’s a stab wound.” I’m not sure when Emily learned how to differentiate between cuts and stab wounds, but Emily is now an expert at those two things. Hanna clearly doesn’t want to go to the hospital. So… Hanna calls Wren! Wren has to slice off Hanna’s jeans to get to the stab, which means that her nice pink jeans are now completely ruined. Tragic. Wren tries to get romantic after the leg is patched up with stiches and everything on top of the kitchen counter, but Hanna clearly isn’t in the mood for a make-out session. Wren is still kind of confused, considering that he is incredibly attractive and has a British accent yet cannot woo Hanna, but Wren respects Hanna’s space. UGH. Secret Caleb relationships! Not great!
Emily does home to relax and prepare to watch a movie with Paige, but Nate shows up. Nate is currently my least favorite character on the show; I hope Nate is A and I hope Nate killed Maya and I hope Nate dies a gruesome death. Nate is crying a lot because he is emotional about losing Maya, which seems a little ridiculous because they are only cousins and Maya did not mention Nate once in her entire life… Then. THEN. No. Nate kisses Emily. Emily is okay with it. They are making out. Paige walks up and sees! This is the worst. This is so upsetting. I talked a couple of weeks ago about how awful it would be if Nate and Emily started something romantic and/or sexual. I hate all of this. Emily clearly did not enjoy the moment but Nate clearly enjoyed the moment. Paige cancels the date because she doesn’t “feel well.” Emily, you mean nothing to me. Emily, I’m so mad at you.
The next day, Emily and Paige talk in the locker room about the night. Paige is being passive-aggressive and asking intense questions, but I wish she would just grab Emily in a chokehold and slam her against the lockers. Also, Emily says that Nate showed up looking super emotional but does not mention the kiss to Paige. None of this is good for you, Emily. You look bad. I feel sick to my stomach now. I feel you, Paige. I understand Paige’s pain.
Ezra and Aria are dealing with a lot of silence this episode. Ezra is out of it because Ezra found Maggie. Maggie is living in Delaware. Ezra is going to figure out what he’s doing in regards to this baby mama. I don’t like Maggie, but I liked Ezra’s little brother Wesley and I wish he was still around this episode. I also wish CeCe was hanging around, at least to give Spencer moral support for Penn, but that dream also did not come true. FMaggie is clearly going to appear in the next couple of weeks, so I think everyone should start bracing themselves… now.
Thankfully, this moment allows everyone to sneak away from their dumb personal drama to deal with Spencer’s real world murder drama – Maya finally jumps into the frame of the security footage. Noel and Jenna arrive in their swanky car and waltz inside. This is when we see Maya again. This is when we see Maya grabbed, only the assaulter is outside of the footage frame. This is one of the scariest things ever, because this tape and other outside evidence shows that Noel, Jenna, and Garrett are all innocent in the murder of Maya. We’re dealing with some serious drama. I’m scared. Who could have done this? NATE. That’s not an answer but my guess that I am presenting as solid evidence to arrest Nate forever and ever amen.
Our last scene with A shows A hanging up a bunch of identical black hoodies and listening to a news story about the court case against Garrett. I liked the hints from Old A/Mona because they always had the creepiest music and genuinely revealed something that would come into play very soon. Tonight’s “clue” was pointless. I wish I could light tonight’s clue on fire... Question of the week – how long before Paige sneaks into Nate’s room in the middle to cut off his balls? My official guess is two weeks, but we all know that Paige is incredibly unstable and could attack in 43 minutes. Fingers crossed.[Image Credit: ABC Family]
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Do the Bourne movies make any sense? Enough. The first three films — The Bourne Identity Supremacy and Ultimatum — throw in just enough detail into the covert ops babble and high-speed action that by the end Jason Bourne comes out an emotional character with an evident mission. That's where Bourne Legacy drops the ball. A "sidequel" to the original trilogy Legacy follows super soldier Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) as he runs jumps and shoots his way out of the hands of his government captors. The film is identical to its predecessors; political intrigue chase scenes morally ambiguous CIA agents monitoring their man-on-the-run from a computer-filled HQ — a Bourne movie through and through. But Legacy has to dig deeper to find new ground to cover introducing elements of sci-fi into the equation. The result is surprisingly limp and even more incomprehensible.
Damon's Bourne spent three blockbusters uncovering his past erased by the assassin training program Treadstone. Renner's Alex Cross has a similar do-or-die mission: after Bourne's antics send Washington into a tizzy Cross' own training program Outcome is terminated. Unlike Bourne Cross is enhanced by "chems" (essentially steroid drugs) that keep him alive and kicking ass. When Outcome is ended Cross goes rogue to stay alive and find more pills.
Steeped heavily in the plot lines of the established mythology Bourne Legacy jumps back and forth between Cross and the clean up job of the movie's big bad (Edward Norton) and his elite squad of suits. The movie balances a lot of moving parts but the adventure never feels sprawling or all that exciting. Actress Rachel Weisz vibrant in nearly every role she takes on plays a chemist who is key to Cross' chemical woes. The two are forced into partnership Weisz limited to screaming cowering and sneaking past the occasional airport x-ray machine while her partner aggressively fistfights his way through any hurdle in his path. Renner is equally underserved. Cross is tailored to the actor's strengths — a darker more aggressive character than Damon's Bourne but with one out of every five of the character's lines being "CHEMS!" shouted at the top of his lungs Renner never has the time or the material to develop him.
Writer/director Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton Duplicity and the screenwriter of the previous three movies) is a master of dense language but his style choices can't breath life into the 21st century epic speak. In the film's necessary car chase Gilroy mimics the loose camera style of Ultimatum director Paul Greengrass without fully embracing it. The wishy washy approach sucks the life out of large-scale set pieces. The final 30 minutes of Bourne Legacy is a shaky cam naysayer's worst nightmare.
The Bourne Legacy demonstrates potential without ever kicking into high gear. One scene when Gilroy finally slows down and unleashes absolute terror on screen is striking. Unfortunately the moment doesn't involve our hero and its implications never explained. That sums up Legacy; by the film's conclusion it only feels like the first hour has played out. The movie crawls — which would be much more forgivable if the intense banter between its large ensemble carried weight. Instead Legacy packs the thrills of an airport thriller: sporadically entertaining and instantly forgettable.
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The remake of Total Recall never escapes the shadow of its Arnold Schwarzenegger-led predecessor — and strangely it feels like a choice. With a script that's nearly beat-for-beat the original film Total Recall plods along with enhanced special effects that bring to life an expansive sci-fi world and action scenes constructed to send eyes flipping backwards into skulls. Filling the cracks of the fractured film is a story that without knowledge of the Philip K. Dick adaptation's previous incarnation is barely decipherable. Those who haven't seen Paul Verhoeven's 1990 Total Recall? Time to get a few memory implants. 2012 Recall makes little sense with the cinematic foundation but it does zero favors to those out of the know.
Colin Farrell takes over duties from Schwarzenegger as Douglas Quaid a down-on-his-luck factory worker hoping to escape his stagnate existence with a boost from Rekall a company capable of engineering fake memories. Quaid calls the damp slums of "The Colony" home (one of two inhabitable parts of Earth) but he dreams of moving to the New Federation of Britain a pristine metropolis on the other side of the planet. When the futuristic treatment goes awry — caused by previously existing memories of our blue collar hero's supposed past life as a secret agent — Quaid emerges from Rekall with lethal power hidden under his mild-mannered persona. He quickly goes on the run escaping squads of soldiers robots and his assassin "wife " Lori (Kate Beckinsale) all hot on his tail. Total Recall turns into one long chase scene as Quaid unravels the mystery of his erased memories.
But when it comes to answers and heady sci-fi Total Recall falls short. Farrell isn't a hulking action star like Schwarzenegger but he's a performer that can sensitively explore any human crisis big or small. Director Len Wiseman (Underworld Live Free or Die Hard) never gives his leading man that opportunity. Farrell makes the best of the films occasional slow moment but the weight of Recall's mindf**k is suffocated in a series of fist fights hovercar pile-ups and foot chases pulled straight out of the latest platformer video game (a sequence that sends Quaid running across the geometric rooftop architecture of The Colony looks straight out of Super Mario Bros.). When Jessica Biel as Quaid's former romantic interest Melina and Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston as the power-hungry politico Cohaagen are finally woven into Farrell's feature length 50 yard dash it's too late — the movie isn't making sense and it's not about to regardless of the charm on screen.
The action is slick and the futuristic design is impeccable but without any time devoted to building the stakes Total Recall feels more like a HDTV demo than a thrilling blockbuster. The movie's greatest innovation is the central set piece "The Fall " an elevator that travels between the two cities at rapid speed. The towering keystone of mankind is a marvel but we never get to see it explore it or feel its implications on the world around it. Instead it's cemented as a CG background behind the craze of Farrell shooting his way through hoards of bad guys.
Science fiction more than any other dramatic genre twist demands attention to the details. New worlds aren't built on broad strokes. But Total Recall tries to get away with it in hopes that audiences will recall their own movie knowledge to support its faulty logic. The movie repeatedly prompts viewers to think back to the 1990 version with blatant fan service that's absolutely nonsensical in this restructured version (no longer does Quaid go to Mars but there's still a three-breasted alien?). The callbacks may have given Total Recall a "been there done that" feel but rarely is it coherent enough to get that far. By the closing credits you'll be struggling to remember what you spent the last two hours watching.
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Tomorrow morning the television world will find itself rocked when Kerry Washington and Nick Offerman announce the nominations for the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards (which has a snazzy new poster, left). Will Parks &amp; Recreation finally get its due? Will Homeland or Downton Abbey upset the drama categories' status quo? Will Girls, New Girl and Veep make a splash and join the ranks of recurring comedy favorites?
It's a year that could be loaded with some pleasant (and some not-so-pleasant) surprises, and we'll all find out tomorrow morning. For now, our team of TV experts at Hollywood.com has compiled our predictions for who will get honored, who will get bumped and who will throw Emmy voters for a wild loop. Check out our predictions below, and check back in for our Emmys coverage in the weeks leading up to the ceremony (which Jimmy Kimmel will host at L.A.'s Nokia Theatre on September 23rd):
Best Drama Series
SHOO-INS:
Mad Men
Breaking Bad
Homeland
Game of Thrones
Boardwalk Empire
TOSS-UP:
Downton Abbey
The Good Wife
WILDCARD:
Justified
Dexter
WE WISH:
Sons of Anarchy
Homeland’s in. Dexter’s out. With Downton Abbey submitting as a drama instead of a miniseries, there’s a shake-up to be had, and the show perhaps most in jeopardy is The Good Wife (which had its "moment" last year).
Best Comedy Series
SHOO-INS:
Modern Family
Parks &amp; Recreation
The Big Bang Theory
Curb Your Enthusiasm
TOSS-UP:
New Girl
Louie
30 Rock
WILDCARD:
Girls
Community
WE WISH:
Happy Endings
It’s a surprisingly wishy-washy year for a usually solid category. Don’t count on The Office like Emmy has in years past; instead, place your bets on newcomers New Girl or Girls (there’s a trend here somewhere) to nab a spot. Although Curb Your Enthusiasm will enthusiastically return to the category, the equally-deserving Louie may have to fight for a major nomination (Louis C.K. himself will get a nod, perhaps in redemption). And never count out dark horse Community, which is having a much buzzed-about year.
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
SHOO-INS:
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Louis C.K. (Louie)
Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men)
TOSS-UP:
Johnny Galecki (The Big Bang Theory)
Don Cheadle (House of Lies)
Ashton Kutcher (Two and a Half Men)
WILDCARD:
Joel McHale (Community)
Will Arnett (Up All Night)
WE WISH:
Adam Scott (Parks &amp; Recreation)
Parsons and Baldwin are category staples, and C.K. is having the best year of his career, so the first half of the ballot is already set. The Academy has shown no lack of love for Jon Cryer, who is submitting for lead this year (and will probably be happily surprised); new co-star Ashton Kutcher also submitted for lead, but he likely won’t find himself at the top of the bill (it’ll either be big name Don Cheadle or Big Bang’s once-nominated Johnny Galecki). You can bet that either Joel McHale (probably) or Will Arnett (probably not) will take a sixth spot for their comedic romps in two of this year’s buzziest comedies.
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
SHOO-INS:
Amy Poehler (Parks &amp; Recreation)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep)
TOSS-UP:
Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)
Lena Dunham (Girls)
Melissa McCarthy (Mike &amp; Molly)
Laura Dern (Enlightened)
WILDCARD:
Christina Applegate (Up All Night)
Laura Linney (The Big C)
WE WISH:
Jane Levy (Suburgatory)
Laura Linney, Martha Plimpton and Edie Falco will make room — and rightfully so — for funnier performances by Deschanel, Dunham and Louis-Dreyfus. It’s also important to remember that Melissa McCarthy’s nod-and-win last year was largely reactionary, thanks to Bridesmaids; her spot this year for Mike &amp; Molly is not guaranteed. Laura Dern could fill a sixth slot, if Linney doesn’t steal it back.
Lead Actor in a Drama Series
SHOO-INS:
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Hugh Laurie (House)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Damian Lewis (Homeland)
TOSS-UP:
Kelsey Grammer (Boss)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Dustin Hoffman (Luck)
Timothy Olyphant (Justified)
WILDCARD:
Hugh Bonneville (Downton Abbey)
Jason Isaacs (Awake)
WE WISH:
William H. Macy (Shameless)
Obviously with five “shoo-ins,” the entire category looks to be mostly locked, as it is every year. Buscemi, Hamm and Cranston won’t budge, and Laurie will stay on the ballot for the last season of House. Expect Michael C. Hall to be given the boot from his usual slot to make room for Homeland’s brilliant enigma Damian Lewis. The sixth spot could go to Kelsey Grammer, an obvious choice for the middling Boss, but Grammer likely won’t get the same love from Emmy that he got from the HFPA at the Globes earlier this year. If Downton Abbey dominates the year overall, patriarch Hugh Bonneville could fill the vacancy; otherwise, it’s a toss-up between Dustin Hoffman, Timothy Olyphant and Hall again.
Lead Actress in a Drama Series
SHOO-INS:
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)
Claire Danes (Homeland)
Mariska Hargitay (Law &amp; Order: SVU)
TOSS-UP:
Katey Sagal (Sons of Anarchy)
Glenn Close (Damages)
WILDCARD:
Elizabeth McGovern (Downton Abbey)
Debra Messing (Smash)
WE WISH:
Madeleine Stowe (Revenge)
The race for leading actress is relatively inflexible — Margulies and Danes will duke it out for the actual trophy, while mainstay Hargitay will more than likely keep her prime spot on the shortlist (whether or not she deserves to is another matter). Elisabeth Moss will definitely make the cut after another consistent season-long performance on Mad Men. Glenn Close will probably have the edge on the criminally under-awarded Katey Sagal, while wildcard (and Emmy crush) Debra Messing could pop up to demonstrate the Academy’s courteous appreciation for Smash.
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
SHOO-INS:
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
Max Greenfield (New Girl)
Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
TOSS-UP:
Nick Offerman (Parks &amp; Recreation)
Ed O’Neill (Modern Family)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family)
WILDCARD:
Jeremy Piven (Entourage)
WE WISH:
Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)
When it comes to the Modern Family guys, Burrell and Stonestreet are guaranteed locks, but O’Neill and Ferguson — who have been jilted in the past — are only high-possibility potentials (O'Neill had a stronger season presence, and Ferguson had an impressive finale). NPH must be relieved that Jon Cryer has bumped himself up to the leading race, but he faces competition from newcomer Max Greenfield, the fan favorite of Fox’s New Girl. The wrench in the plan is either Nick Offerman, who may finally earn his much-deserved nomination for Parks &amp; Recreation, or Jeremy Piven, who could return to glory for the final season of Entourage (but probably won’t).
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
SHOO-IN:
Julie Bowen (Modern Family)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live)
Betty White (Hot in Cleveland)
Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)
TOSS-UP:
Kristin Chenoweth (GCB)
WILDCARD:
Cheryl Hines (Suburgatory)
Anna Chlumsky (Veep)
WE WISH:
Maya Rudolph (Up All Night)
No surprises lie with Bowen, Vergara or Wiig — and, frankly, with White, although her inclusion is more of a necessity than a commentary on the Emmy worthiness of Hot in Cleveland. Hines is a fan favorite and Chlumsky shines on Veep, but it’s Kristin Chenoweth who will mark this season’s new addition to the ballot for her star turn on GCB (smart move, submitting as supporting, even though ads for the cancelled soap played her up as its lead).
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
SHOO-INS:
Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
Josh Charles (The Good Wife)
Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)
Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad)
TOSS-UP:
John Slattery (Mad Men)
Mandy Patinkin (Homeland)
Michael Pitt (Boardwalk Empire)
Walton Goggins (Justified)
WILDCARD:
Robert Sean Leonard (House)
Jared Harris (Mad Men)
WE WISH:
Vincent Kartheiser (Mad Men)
Could Robert Sean Leonard’s return to House’s final season or Jared Harris’s emotional finale on Mad Men mean nominations that bump out John Slattery or Michael Pitt? Potentially, although more so for Leonard than Harris. But I’d count on Mandy Patinkin popping up in this category alongside favorites Dinklage, Paul and Charles. (Oh, and Esposito is compulsory here.)
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
SHOO-IN:
Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey)
Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)
Kelly Macdonald (Boardwalk Empire)
TOSS-UP:
Megan Hilty (Smash)
January Jones (Mad Men)
WILDCARD:
Kiernan Shipka (Mad Men)
Anjelica Huston (Smash)
WE WISH:
Lana Parrilla (Once Upon a Time)
It’s a damn free-for-all in this category, but there’s surprisingly little wiggle room. Megan Hilty could eke out a nomination for standing out (for all the right reasons) on Smash, but it’s no promise, especially considering that the Smash presence at the Emmys may be limited. If not Hilty, then Mad Men’s January Jones may get another chance to win for her impressive Fat Betty.
How'd we do? Think we got it right, or totally wrong? Let us know in the comments!
[Photo Credit: Academy of Television Arts &amp; Sciences]
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