"The truth is plain and simple: James T. Kirk is a genius, even under the most unfavorable conditions..." A series of one-shots where Jim shows his ingenuity while he's bleeding, poisoned, or just hurt in some general way.

I know I've got other stories still going on and I hate to start a new one when I'm soo close to finishing the others, but I had to get this out of my head, which is bad because I have my finals this week. Gah, I'm such a bad student...

First of all, I want you guys to know that I have never seen anything other than the Star Trek 2009 movie, which I watched like a month ago. And I immediately got hooked and fell in love with all the characters and their familial love/bonds. And most importantly, I fell in love with the idea of Kirk being this badass and still able to do all the badass stuff he does while injured, emotionally compromised, etc.

Anyway, all the information I got about this was from the movie, Wikipedia, and other stories. Please let me know if there's any discrepancies or whatnot because honest to God, I am so brand new at this fandom that it's scaring me. Like, I'm actually terrified to put this up because I didn't even know who Spock was outside of Big Bang Theory until a month ago...so sad. I missed out a lot...

So the point of this was to beat up Jim while still showing how much of a genius he really is. I do have the next chapter planned out (it involves poison), but after that, it's up for grabs. Anyone have any requests, feel free to let me know and I'll see what I can do. Only criteria is that Jim has to get hurt and he has to prove how smart he actually is, though the degree of how hurt he gets, what he does, any slash or no slash, is entirely up to you.

And with that, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any Star Trek franchise.

Depending on who you asked, Captain James T. Kirk was a man of many things. To the citizens of Earth, he was a hero, a savior. To his fellow classmates back at Starfleet academy, he was a womanizer and somewhat of a brash fool who liked to get into too many fights. His mother would probably refuse to answer while Admiral Pike would say that Kirk was like the son he never had.

Either or, most people just didn't realize that behind his many masks and fronts, Jim Kirk was a genius. Not just a genius. He was a freaking genius. Sure, his crew knew that he had many talents and was oddly skillful in the most random things, but there were always questions and rumors. With his laid-back personality, it was just hard to figure out what was the truth and what had been exaggerated.

But after Kirk proved to be more than what he seemed time after time again, the crew of the Enterprise had learned that everything was true.

There were no exaggerations.

Nope. The truth was plain and simple: James T. Kirk was a freaking genius, even under the most unfavorable conditions…

I

Speak of the Devil and He Shall Appear

Captain Jim Kirk was lounging happily on his favorite chair on his Bridge, brightly munching on an apple as he observed his crew working diligently around him.

Spock was immersed in some sort of scientific journal; Uhura (not Nyota yet) was concentrating hard on translating a message from a Klingon ship. Chekov and Sulu were sprawled over a digital map, heatedly discussing the merits of different routes, and Bones was off somewhere in Sickbay, menacing poor Ensigns with his hyposprays.

All-in-all, it was a slow day.

And Jim was bored, which meant that his over-active mind was about to start coming up with ingenious plans to mess with people.

That never ended well for him.

Spock could easily put him in a choke-hold again, though Spock was now more than likely to ream him out logically. Though they became great friends after the whole Nerada debacle, Jim was a still a little bit tentative to mess with the Vulcan. It took too much energy to work loops within Spock's logic and Uhura would probably castrate him if he even got a step too close to them. If he went to bother Bones, he would say something along the lines of "Dammnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a distraction!" and proceed to infect him with some obscure disease. Definitely not an option. Sulu and Chekov would have probably teamed up with him if they weren't so afraid of Bones, Uhura, and Spock. They were all a load of wet blankets.

Which left Scotty.

Jim grinned and stood from his chair. "Spock, I'm going to see how things are in Engineering. You have the conn."

Spock glanced up. "Understood. However, Captain, I would suggest you refrain from collaborating with Mister Scott in various experiments that, as past experiences have indicated, may not end well. We are, after all, on a set schedule to transport dangerous criminals to the penal colony Tantalus V. Delays are not wise."

Jim shrugged aside Spock's concerns as he headed to the turbolift. "Unless the felons have someone on the inside, it shouldn't be possible for them to escape the brig. And I'm offended that you would think that I would encourage Scotty's shenanigans, Spock. I am Captain, after all. I have to make sure that everything is ship-shape."

"You're just bored, Captain," teased Uhura. "And Scotty's the only one that you can bother without worries of bodily harm."

"I never denied that," smirked Jim, pressing a button to lower him down to the Engineering deck. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "Don't miss me too much!"

The command crew rolled their eyes just as the doors shut.

Sometimes, they really wondered whether or not Jim Kirk was seriously mature enough to be their Captain, though of course, in the next few hours, they never questioned that again.

Jim strolled onto the Engineering deck and shouted, "Scotty!" as loudly as he could. He grinned as his voice echoed around the heavy machinery. He had always liked to tinker around with equipment and engines; he and Scotty had shared many drinks over their mutual love of all things that were made of metal.

He kept walking, nodding casually at the various Ensigns that passed by him, as he headed towards the back of the engines. Scotty tended to stay in that region of wiring and electrics to ensure that the Enterprise was always at her best.

Sure enough, Scotty was on his back and halfway hidden underneath a power console. Jim knelt down and tapped at the Chief Engineer's foot.

"Scotty!" he called again, for good measure.

There was a muffled yelp and some cursing in Gaelic. Jim chuckled as Scotty squirmed out.

"Jim! Doncha know not to scare a man like tha'?" scolded Scotty, even as a smile made a way to his face.

"What're you doing today, Scotty?" asked Jim. "I don't usually find you lodged in a crevice like this."

"Ach, Keenser said that somethin' is off 'bout these controls. Said tha' someone's been fiddlin' with it."

Jim frowned. "They power the main control throughout the Enterprise, don't they? It's complex and dangerous to meddle with them."

"Ah know. And there're wires tha' are twisted about. Take a look yerself."

Scotty climbed to his feet while Jim laid flat on his back. He shimmied his way through the crack with more ease than the Scottish man and within seconds, he could see what Scotty was talking about. But he also saw a small contraption close to his right ear that didn't belong. It was rectangular and there was an antenna sticking out from one of the corners, like a radio. Or remote detonation…But why? Even if the console exploded, it would take a talented programmer and engineer to reroute the power. It just didn't seem worth blowing it up. Unless there were high security measures that simple programming couldn't bypass…

Jim's blue eyes widened as soon as his brain linked together the small pieces of information.

"Shit! Scotty, call the Bridge. Red alert!" he shouted as he scrambled out. "The prisoners are planning an escape!"

"A little late fer tha…" muttered Scotty.

The Engineer was kneeling with his hands up in surrender as three men pointed their phasers at him. Jim inwardly swore as he raised his arms as well.

"Ensign Sean, I would just like you to know that your plans to release the prisoners aren't going to work," Jim said. "This won't end well for you. If you surrender now, I'll talk to the Admiralty. They'll give you a lighter sentence."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Shooting me seems so cliché, doesn't it? Anyone can pull a trigger. At least come up with something creative. I mean, I probably did something to you that you're seeking revenge for now, right? Did I fuck your wife? Girlfriend? Or did I kick your ass so hard that you can't show your face without embarrassment? Though, I'm sure I didn't really make that much of a difference."

Sean growled, his entire face turning red. "Don't you ever shut up?!"

"No, I don't. I hear that it's a quality of mine that people admire. I've been told that I have quite a talented tongue as well, and I mean that in every way possible. Should I start speaking in long, eloquent sentences or will you just get confused?"

"Shut up!" yelled Sean, slamming the butt of his phaser against Jim's temple.

Lights burst in his vision for a brief second and then rapidly blackened. Fuck…that had hurt! A vicious throbbing attacked Jim's mind and he could feel himself losing his consciousness fast. The world was tilting and he landed heavily onto his side.

He could hear Scotty yelling his name and sounds of scuffling. Through his bleary vision, Jim saw the man standing to Sean's left raise his arm and bring it crashing down against Scotty's head. Scotty fell limply to the ground. Then there was blood pooling around his hair.

That sparked a defiant nerve within Jim. Worry and anger rushed through him. How dare they hurt Scotty?! How dare they try to pull this shit on him?! But the world was still spinning, still darkening, and he couldn't coax his body to move fully.

Sean snapped at the other man who just grabbed Scotty by his arms and started dragging the engineer, probably to use as leverage. When they got to a good distance, Sean lifted a small remote and grinned brightly at Jim.

"So long, Captain Kirk."

He pressed the button.

And then there was nothing but flames and pain…

The Bridge was quiet without their Captain hovering around. Sometimes, the crew found the silence deafening; others, it was a blessing to be able to complete their work without any distractions. This was one of those times where they kind of wished that their Captain had decided to bother one of them. At least they would get a good chuckle out of such a slow day.

Chekov turned in his chair to catch Sulu's attention. "Hikaru, vhat do you think the Keptin is doing to the ship?"

Sulu shook his head, "He and Scotty are probably enjoying the new fermentation distillation that they installed the last time Kirk was down there."

"Though the Captain does seem to enjoy that pastime, I highly doubt that he would indulge in such an activity while on duty," Spock said from his station.

The two immediately ducked their heads, a light flush on their faces at being caught. Damn Spock's Vulcan hearing!

"I'm surprised he didn't go find McCoy," Uhura added to their conversation. "The Sickbay has been empty for a couple of days now and he's all caught up in sleep and paperwork. Kirk's likelihood of getting hypoed is pretty small."

"Has Kirk gotten his annual vaccinations yet?" Sulu asked.

"I don't know, but weren't we supposed to get that two weeks ago? I'm sure McCoy's gotten the entire ship already."

"It seems that the Captain is allergic to this particular strain and therefore has been exempt from Doctor McCoy's…" Spock thought for a brief second for the right word. "…administrations."

Sulu and Chekov snickered at Spock's hesitation and Uhura grinned.

The turbolift opened and McCoy stepped onto the Bridge, immediately noticing the absence of their blue-eyed Captain. "Where's Jim?" he questioned gruffly as he shifted his hold on the medkit he had in his right hand.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear…" whispered Sulu, though none too quietly.

Chekov giggled and Hikaru's smile grew broader.

"What?" glared Leonard. "Spock, where's Jim?"

"He said he was going to Engineering, but I do not know if that was his true destination. May I ask why you have come to the Bridge, Doctor McCoy?"

"I managed to get a different strain of vaccinations that Jim can actually handle and I figured he'd run if I told him that I needed him down in Sickbay."

"So, you figured you'd corner him here where Spock can hold him down. Smart," laughed Uhura.

"Would you like me to comm him to return to the Bridge, Doctor?" asked Spock.

"Which is Vulcan for 'hell yes'…" muttered McCoy. "Yeah, comm him. I don't have all day to wait for him."

Spock studiously ignored the laughter around the Bridge and reached his slender fingers to his console. He was centimeters away from pressing the button when the entire ship jolted violently, making McCoy lose his footing and knocking several crew members out of their chairs. Alarms began flashing red and blaring loudly as shouts could be heard below.

"What the hell was that?!" yelled McCoy.

Instantly, everyone sprang into action. Fingers flew across consoles, questions were rapidly fired and answered, and the problem was found in the matter of seconds.

"Commander, there was an explosion in Engineering!" Sulu said quickly. "But it doesn't seem to be an external attack."

The lights began to flicker and the entire ship seemed to groan.

"Locate the origin of the detonation, Lieutenant Sulu."

"Jim…" breathed McCoy as a horrible realization hit him. "Jim was at Engineering!"

"I am aware, Doctor McCoy, but we have to assess the damage first."

"You damn hobgoblin, I'm going down there."

"Negative, Doctor. As of now, we do not know the exact condition of Engineering. It is too dangerous."

McCoy opened his mouth, ready to angrily argue back, but Chekov cut him off.

"Commander, there is something vrong vith the controls."

"What do you mean?"

"There is something that is overvriting the initial program. A sub-route has been implanted and is rapidly embedding its code. I cannot stop it. I think the explosion damaged the main console, sir."

"Translation: someone is hacking into the Enterprise and we have no way to stop it," supplied Sulu grimly.

Spock's face remained expressionless, except for the slight twitch of his lips downward. "That is impossible. Lieutenant Chekov, try to isolate the program within the matrix and eliminate it from there."

"I cannot, sir," said Chekov as the ship whined and the lights went out for a moment. "Ve hawe lost control."

"Lieutenant Uhura, do we have communications with Engineering?"

"Negative."

"Reestablish the lines. Doctor McCoy, you are accompanying me to Engineering. Medical may be needed. Lieutenant Sulu, you have the con."

"Not so fast," came a new voice from behind them.

Everyone turned to see a man dragging Scotty beside him with a phaser pointed at the Engineer's head. He was around his thirties and had short, orange hair. There was scruff on his chin and upper lip. He was tall and built, like Giotto (or Cupcake, as Kirk called him); clearly he was strong, because he held a waking Scotty up with one hand. Behind him stood sixteen other men, all carrying phasers. Two of them were Redshirts; Spock recognized one to be Ensign Joshua Sean and the other as Ensign Percival Weston. The others wore a tan short-sleeved undershirt with dark blue scrub-like pants – the outfit of a prisoner.

No one had noticed when the turbolift had arrived, carrying the escaped prisoners and their hostage to the Bridge. In the chaos that the explosion had caused, they were able to travel from the Brig to here easily without anyone pausing to stop them.

"Don't try anything," warned the leader. "You're outgunned and outmanned, even with your precious Vulcan over there. Anyone even move a finger and you're dead. Am I clear?"

He nodded to his comrades and they moved cautiously towards the Command crew. They always had one man point their phaser at a crew member while the other tied them up with ropes and chains, in Spock's case. Scotty was thrown mercilessly next to McCoy who shifted so that he caught most of the Engineer's dead weight. He had blood dripping down his face and McCoy could feel worry eat at him. Head wounds were always tricky and they often bled more than other injuries, but he couldn't fully assess how hurt Scotty was unless he had his hands free and the man awake. By the sounds of Scotty's growing groans, McCoy guessed that he'd be in a world of pain in a few minutes.

"What is it that you want?" Spock asked, his emotionless voice coming out as cold when he was forced to sit down beside his captured friends at the helm.

"Isn't it obvious? We want this ship."

"Your faces and names are well known in the Federation. Your infamy will not allow you to maintain control of this vessel for long, Mark Smith."

"Oh, you know who I am?" smiled Smith.

"You were convicted of several counts of murder as well as espionage. As such, you were sentenced to a two-hundred and three-four year sentence on the penal colony Tantalus V."

"I see that the Vulcan memory isn't exaggerated, but you're a little dumber than I expected. Of course I don't plan to keep the Enterprise. I'm not stupid. Flying around in the Federation's Flagship is like putting a giant bulls-eye on my back. I ain't having that. No, I'm going to get me and my boys to a planet in the Cardissian system and well, let's just say that that's as far as the Enterprise is gonna get," Smith smirked and turned to a younger, emancipated man with silver hair – a Redshirt. "Weston, get your ass over there and start navigating this thing."

Weston nodded and quickly took Sulu's seat. With no hesitation, he immediately bypassed Sulu's passwords and began inputting in coordinates. It was clear that Weston was the one that had done Smith's dirty work – he was the one to implant the code and had probably transfigured something in Engineering to be able to override the codes that were too difficult for him to handle. Security was especially tight when a seventeen-year-old Russian genius and a Vulcan worked together. There was no other option, which was why they both had to be kept within sight.

Enterprise began to hum as she went back online and started to move, albeit slowly.

"So, you got what you wanted. What are you keeping us around for?" snarled McCoy.

"You've got guts, Doctor. It'll kill you one day."

"Seems like I'm gonna die either or, so might as well die defiant 'til the end."

The man standing beside Smith started chuckling.

"Something funny, Sean?" spat McCoy, eying the man in the Redshirt. Damn it. He had treated that guy for a broken finger just the other day!

"Yeah, it's just interesting that you would be exactly like Kirk in his last moments. Defiant. He was still trying to save Lieutenant-Commander Scott when he couldn't even see straight."

Everyone in the Command crew stiffened.

McCoy hissed. "What are you saying?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Sean smiled wickedly, "I am sorry to inform you that Captain James T. Kirk was caught in an unexpected explosion in Engineering today."

Jim wasn't dead. Not by a long shot, but he did get knocked out, though he wasn't quite sure for how long. He hissed as he struggled to pick himself up from the floor. Breathing in all that ash was bound to set off some sort of reaction and Jim just didn't want to hear that particular lecture from Bones. He groaned as his shaking limbs gave out on him again and he collapsed heavily against the ground.

"Damn it…" he breathed, closing his eyes as he tried to categorize his injuries.

Everything hurt. He had been so close to the explosion that he didn't have much time to throw himself to the side and hide behind another console. He hadn't expected a chain reaction and couldn't fully protect himself when his shield burst into flames as well. He was blown a few feet away from his original position to where he was now. The brunt of his wounds was concentrated on his back – luckily, he had escaped anything severe…well, he hoped. He was sure that there were a few burns and lacerations from the flying shrapnel – those he could handle easily, but there was also a deep, aching pain towards his lower right back. He had felt that kind of fire before – it was synonymous to that time he was stabbed. Shit. Had a piece of shrapnel managed to get buried in him?

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he reached behind him to grope blindly at the wound. His fingers came into contact with a large, jagged piece of metal. Fuck…this was going to hurt – even more so than his throbbing head.

"Greetings, crew of the Enterprise," came a voice on the loudspeaker. "This is your new Captain. There's been a change of command and destination. I would just like to tell you all that if anyone decides to try anything, I will kill one member of your crew every ten minutes, starting with your beloved Command. I hear Vulcans bleed green. I'd be happy to see if that's true."

There was annoying, chastising laughter that made Jim grit his teeth in fury.

"That's all. Good day and go burn in hell."

Fuckers…if anyone was going to burn in hell, it was going to be them.

Adrenaline rushed through his veins and without hesitation, Jim jerked out the impaling metal in one swift motion. He bit back the scream that followed and breathed heavily as he tried to blink out the flashing lights in his vision. But the pain was good. The pain cleared his head and made his mind begin to turn so quickly that it would have made anyone else dizzy.

Agonizingly, he forced himself up and staggered back to the burning console. His vision blurred and he was sure that he was leaving blood trails, but he didn't care. His crew was in danger, his ship was damaged. He had to do something.

Eying the panel before him, Jim reached forward and pulled out several wires, twisting and crossing them before reconnecting it. Then, he moved on to grab the PADD that was connected to the console and angrily started typing on it. After a few minutes, he proofread the enormous code that he had programmed before inserting it into Enterprise's system. Satisfied, he pushed himself onward, leaning against the wall for support.

He could barely see, but he knew this place like the back of his hand. Two more feet and he knew that his knee would bang into something metal. Grinning, he reached down and numbly unscrewed the gate to the vents.

It was time to show those felons that you didn't mess with James Tiberius Kirk or the people he cared about.

Heads were going to roll.

"Hikaru, do you think that Keptin is dead?" whispered Chekov, his thin voice broken and choked with emotion.

Spock finished their tirade. "He is James Tiberius Kirk. For reasons that escape me, the laws of logic do not apply to him."

The rest of the Command crew almost burst out into laughter at Spock's words.

"Then let me rest any doubts you may have." Sean squatted down before him so that he was at eye level. "Kirk couldn't even move seconds before the console blew up. The blast would have set off another explosion of the surrounding consoles. Anyone who was in a ten foot radius of the bomb would have died, and your Captain was inches away from the origin. What is the probability of him surviving? Hmm? Logic that out."

"The probability is less than 1.26%," Spock responded.

"See?" grinned Sean.

"But you fail to understand that that means Jim has a 1.26% chance of surviving. And that's more than enough for him," retorted McCoy.

"You guys have obviously lost your minds from the grief," sighed Sean, shaking his head as he straightened and turned back to face Smith.

"Ain't denial such a beautiful thing?" chortled Smith.

"Be careful…" warned Sulu. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear."

"Then it's fortunate that I'm not a religious man. Now shut up or we'll shoot you in the knees. I'd rather hear you moaning."

But Smith really should have listened, because in the next moment, there was a crackle of static and then suddenly, Jim's voice was broadcasting all over the ship, echoing resolutely.

"To the felons currently occupying the Bridge, this is Captain James T. Kirk speaking. I would like to commend you in your surprising abilities to overcome my crew. It's a feat in itself to take down my command, let alone take over the Enterprise. Too bad it's not going to work."

The sarcasm and patronizing edge in Jim's words were not lost and the Command crew merely gave the felons a "I told you so" grin as Jim kept talking.

"You made three mistakes. The first is underestimating me. Seriously? I'm James fucking Kirk and you don't even bother to check if I'm actually unconscious or just faking it? And then you leave me alone in Engineering. But then and again, I don't think you realized that, aside being the best fucking Captain in Starfleet, I'm also a bit of an engineering genius. Don't feel too bad. Not many know that I'm a man of many talents. The little rerouting you attempted to make by blowing up a part of the control panel has been reversed and I've actually added my own changes to it."

Smith shot a look at Weston who had run around and was now frantically punching in codes at Chekov's station, but his efforts to open a sub-route around Kirk's codes failed at every turn. There were too many layers, too many complex pathways that Weston couldn't even make heads or tails of what was in front of him.

"I can't bypass his codes! This is at least twenty times more complex than the original and some of these programs aren't even Terran!"

Chekov and Sulu shared a smirk. Though they were surprised, something like this was somewhat expected of Kirk nowadays.

Jim continued in that same gleeful tone that made McCoy want to stab his best friend with a hypospray. He knew what that voice meant. Jim was planning something, and he knew he wasn't going to like it.

"I'm sure your 'clever' hacker has just informed you that he can't get past my firewalls. My programming tends to be too advanced for minds like his, so don't be too disappointed in him. It's not his fault that he's just not on par to our standards, which, might I add, is set by a seventeen-year-old. You should have known that it would take much more than your third-rate hacker to even make a dent in our firewalls."

"Your second mistake was trying to take over my ship. Did you really think it would be that easy? To make my command crew lay low on the Bridge of all places and still expect this to be smooth sailing? You see, I'm a bit of a tactical mastermind as well and as my crew can tell you, I'm quite the creative one. Well, you'll experience that personally soon enough."

Spock raised an eyebrow at the subtle hint that Jim had given them. Slyly, he caught Nyota's eye. In an instant, she understood the silent message that the Vulcan was trying to send her. She nodded and nudged Chekov and Sulu beside her while Spock did the same to McCoy and Scotty. Slowly and surreptitiously, the command crew maneuvered themselves around their bindings so that they lay on their stomachs, flattening their bodies to the ground in preparation for whatever their insane Captain was planning.

"Your last and worst mistake, my dear gentlemen, was that you tried to and succeeded in hurting some of my crew. And for that," Kirk's cheery voice suddenly turned cold and dripped with venom, "I'm coming for you."

The announcement abruptly cut off and the felons glanced at each other warily. Spock noticed that their body language had tensed and everyone but Smith was 87.3% more nervous than before. Their fingers had subconsciously tightened around the trigger of their phasers.

Then, suddenly, the Bridge was sent into a state of darkness and the felons sprang to their feet, crowding around each other. Jim had no doubt cut the power. Spock had no idea why, but even in the blackness, his sharp Vulcan eyes could see that Jim's actions had made their captors afraid and unsettled – more prone to making mistakes.

There was a whirling noise. The command crew snapped their heads towards the familiar sound of the turbolift working. Confusion now filled them. Even Jim wouldn't be foolish enough to just attack head-on…but then and again, this was James Kirk they were talking about. They wouldn't put it past Jim to pull it off.

The felons gathered towards the entrance and raised their phasers, pointing it expectantly at the turbolift. As it slowly started to open, their postures became more rigid as the adrenaline rushed through their bodies. The doors flung wide open and the sudden burst of bright lights blinded the armed men for a split second.

In that exact same moment of distraction, a shadow dropped down from the vents, landing lightly and silently by the Captain's chair. With the lighting provided by the empty lift, the command crew easily recognized their Captain who was just wearing the blacks of the Starfleet uniform. Without sparing his crew a glance, Jim straightened and took a couple of steps forward, standing unnoticed behind the felons.

The lights of the turbolift suddenly vanished as the doors closed once again, plunging them all into darkness just as Jim's pre-recorded voice came overhead again.

"Oh, there's one more thing I forgot to say…"

Jim waited for dramatic effect and then leaned over Weston's shoulder.

"Boo."

Weston let out a yelp at Jim's breath against his ear and accidentally shot his phaser, hitting one of his teammates. Thinking that it was Jim who was attacking, the rest of the felons started to fire blindly into the dark as well. McCoy let out a quiet curse when a wayward shot hit the wall a few feet above his head. If they hadn't been lying down because Jim told them to, they would've been caught in the crossfire.

In the chaos that ensued, grunts of pain could be heard as flashes of the phaser shots gave the command crew snapshots of bodies falling to the ground. They held their breath, hoping that none of those thudding sounds came from their friend and Captain.

The ambush ended as quickly as it started. Harsh breathing was the only sound that could be heard now.

Then, "Computer, lights at 100%," Jim commanded.

The Bridge was bathed in lights and the command crew had to blink a few times to adjust. Before them, the sixteen men that had taken them by surprise lay in various positions all over the floor near the lift. Some stared lifelessly at the ceiling while others writhed in pain from phaser wounds or physical attacks, no doubt from Jim.

Smith had it worst. Jim was standing over him, his foot planted firmly on the felon's back between his shoulder blades, pressing him against the hard floor. The Captain had Smith's phaser in his hand, pointing it directly at the man.

"You're lucky that I'm a nice guy, Smith. Otherwise, you'd be dead by now." Jim cocked his head slightly, his blue eyes shining far too brightly with adrenaline, "But then and again, you threatened my crew. You'll pay for that."

And then he fired without hesitation. Smith slumped to the ground boneless, much to the surprise of his friends.

Clearly satisfied, Jim casually tossed the phaser aside. "He's really lucky my phaser was set to stun," he said as he stepped around the felons to reach his crew.

Squatting down before them, he shook his head. "Come on, guys. We've taken down Romulans and Klingons before. Aren't you ashamed to have been captured by the likes of them?" Jim joked as he reached into his right boot and pulled out a knife.

Uhura looked baffled. "You hide a knife in there?"

Jim just smirked, "Want to know what else I have hidden on my body?"

"No," Uhura said quickly, ending what was bound to be a sex joke, and rolled her eyes.

He released Scotty first, who gratefully used his free arms to wipe away the blood dripping down the side of his head. "Ye got good timin', Jim."

"Not good enough, apparently. Sorry I couldn't stop them from hitting you on the head," Jim replied softly, cutting through Bones' bonds so that the doctor could whip out a tricorder to treat the Scottish engineer.

Scotty just shook his head. "Same 'ere…"

He then moved on to Spock, who helped release Nyota, and Sulu who then freed Chekov.

Jim straightened, glancing back at the men sprawled around. "Commander Spock and Lieutenant Sulu, get these men off my Bridge and into the brig," he said, his voice taking on his "Captain tone" that made everyone snap to attention. "Chekov, reprogram the Enterprise. Weston had some tricks up his sleeve, so I had to insert codes to make the Enterprise respond to my commands only. It's a little complicated, but it's nothing that someone of your caliber can't handle."

He turned to his Communications Officer, "Uhura, once he's finished, send out an all-clear, but only after we're sure that Spock and Sulu have them secured in the brig. I don't want a repeat of what just happened. There's only so many times that I'll climb through those damn dusty vents for you guys."

"Aye, Captain!" they saluted, a smile on their faces before they went off to obey him.

When they had gone to their respective stations, Jim frowned at Bones administering first aid to his Chief Engineer. "Bones, how's Scotty? There was a lot of blood when he first got hit."

"He'll be fine. No concussion or anything. Just a scratch."

Jim visibly relaxed. "Good. Scotty, if you feel up to it, head down to Engineering and fix our girl. I didn't have much time so I just did what I could to patch her up. It won't hold for long though."

Jim smiled at his friend's enthusiasm and watched quietly as Scotty scurried past him to hit the turbolift where Spock, Sulu, and the piled felons waited for Chekov to reroute the Enterprise.

McCoy stared at Jim, thinking hard. Something was off. The Jim he knew was cocky and when he could showcase his bouts of ingenuity, he liked to preen about it. But this Jim seemed more content to watch his crew bustle about obeying his commands. And he didn't even attempt to offer a hand to help the doctor up. Jim always helped, especially because he was such a tactile person.

"Jim, you alright?" asked McCoy, standing and leaving his medical supplies on the ground.

Jim turned. His blue eyes were too bright for McCoy's liking and he was holding himself in a manner that favoring his right side, though he seemed absolutely normal to an untrained eye.

"Bones, do we have anyone else injured?"

He shook his head. "Not that I know of."

"I passed by the Sickbay when I was crawling through the vents. I think Nurse Chapel and the rest of the medical staff were locked in because I messed with the codes. Hopefully, Chekov will fix it quickly." Jim's voice held an odd tone to it, as if he sounded thoughtful, but Leonard was stuck on a specific part of his sentence.

"Crawled through the vents…" McCoy repeated, his voice filled with disbelief. He could've kicked himself. How did he miss the first time Jim said that?! "Dammnit, Jim! You're allergic to almost every variant of dust! What if you have an allergic reaction?!"

McCoy jerked around and rifled through his medical kit, looking for a hypospray filled with something that wouldn't kill his best friend.

There was a choked need in that one word and Bones felt a cold panic take over his chest. He turned; his eyes widened at the sight of the small pool of blood at Jim's feet. Reacting more on instinct than anything, he jumped forward, just as Jim collapsed into his arms.

"Jim! Jim! Where are you hurt?!" McCoy rushed, catching the attention of everyone around them.

Jim's face was buried into Bones' shoulder and he murmured, but nothing that McCoy could make out. He started to lower Jim gently to the ground when his fingers touched a warm, wet patch at Jim's lower right back. Jim hissed and Leonard pulled his hand away to see crimson blood covering it.

By the time the Vulcan was by his side, Leonard had already laid Jim down on his stomach and cut away his black shirt. Uhura had come around on his other side and used someone's uniform to pillow the Captain's head so that his face wasn't pressed against the floor of the Bridge.

When the last strips of Jim's black shirt fell away, Bones hissed when he saw the jagged wound bleeding profusely. The deep laceration was about two inches long and it looked as though something rusty had punctured Jim. There were burn marks around the small of his back and various scratches and bruises decorating his back.

"It seems the explosion that Jim spoke of was not to be taken as lightly as he indicated," Spock said.

"No shit, you damn hobgoblin!" snapped McCoy, already mentally cataloguing every single one of Jim's wounds. "Chekov, have you fixed the turbolift yet? I need to get Jim down to Sickbay. And unlock it, will you? Jim said something about actually putting it under lockdown."

"Almost," responded the Russian, "The Keptin incorporated some Wulcan codes that are wery hard to bypass. Giwe me one more second."

"Vulcan codes? When did he learn that?" frowned Sulu.

"Doesn't that require an in-depth knowledge of the Vulcan language? Does Kirk speak Vulcan?" asked Uhura.

"Now's not the time to talk about Jim's language proficiencies. Someone give me my bag. I gotta give him something before this gets infected."

Leonard's eyes never left Jim, but he held out his free hand expectantly while keeping his other one pressed on Jim's wound. Someone – probably Spock (because who else would know what was an antibiotic?) – pressed a hypospray into his hand. He checked the medication before releasing it against Jim's neck.

"I got it!" shouted Chekov as the turbolift whirled into action.

In seconds, Jim had been bundled up into Spock's arms and rushed to Sickbay, leaving Sulu, Uhura, Scotty and Chekov on the Bridge.

The four of them looked at each other, slightly overwhelmed at the whirlwind that their Captain had caused, and stared at the convicts that were still clumped by the turbolift.

In moments, a security team was called up and the criminals were removed from the Bridge.

About an hour of recovery later, it was as if the felons had never even escaped.

Six hours after the whole entire escaped prisoner fiasco, Jim was sitting up in a biobed with his patented "eat-shit" smirk on his face. Now that it was Beta shift, his Command crew had used their free time to check up on him. Sulu and Chekov stood at the foot of his bed with Scotty and Uhura on either side of the two; Spock was posted at his right side, his posture straight like a soldier. Bones was sitting on his left side, his fingers pressed against the upper bridge of his nose as he tried to look for what little patience he had left.

"So let me get this straight," Bones started, "You managed to dodge the main explosion while concussed. Then, bleeding and burned, you rewrote the entire code for the Enterprise in a matter of minutes while simultaneously fixing parts of the burned wiring so that the ship would still function properly. You then proceeded to crawl through hundreds of feet of vents, some completely vertical, and took down sixteen armed men by yourself, who, may I add, was already injured with a two inch puncture in his back and unarmed. Did I get that all right, Jim?"

"Well, I have to admit, wiring Enterprise to only listen to my commands was all that I had actually planned. The rest I came up with seconds before I started my broadcast."

"You winged it?!" shrieked Uhura. "All of it? How is that even possible?! You got them to take each other out with a plan that you figured out within seconds?"

"It was more like a minute, but yes, I didn't exactly have much time. And I'm a brilliant man. We all know this," winked Jim.

"I would like to know how you were able to complete the engineering tasks without any prior training," Spock said. "Though crude, I cannot deny the ingenuity of your programs."

Scotty looked confused. "Ye weren't aware tha' Jim could do tha'?"

"I had no knowledge that Jim knew more than the elementary basics of engineering."

"Same here," muttered Sulu. "But why am I not surprised?"

"Jim 'ere is easily the best Engineer ah have ever met, second to me, o' course."

"I took a couple of advanced Engineering classes back at Starfleet," explained Jim. "I was always good with machines. I mean, I built an old-fashioned motorcycle from scratch. And, I was bored. Bones had gotten busy with clinic work so I needed something to fill up my evenings."

Sulu let out a low whistle and Chekov's eyes sparkled as he worshipped Jim more. And Jim just grinned broader.

"Unbelievable…" groaned Uhura. "He's going to be insufferable for the next week."

Jim rolled his eyes before suddenly sitting up straighter when a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Oh, and can someone retrieve Scotty's PADD? I think I left it up in the vents. I couldn't exactly bring it down with me to a fight."

There was a sigh of frustration. "Damnnit, Jim! I can't even figure out how you managed to fit in there in the first place!"

"Keenser will do it," said Scotty. "He knows the vents just as well as ye do, Jim."

"Which is another question of itself," added Sulu.

Jim flashed a wink at Chekov. "Chekov knows the answer to that one."

Chekov smiled and nodded, almost bouncing on his feet. "Keptin and I had a race of who could trawel through the wents the fastest."

"I like puzzles and Vulcan programs are basically labyrinths within labyrinths. It was intriguing, so I learned how code them. I used to create Vulcan programs just to trip up my professors. Haven't done them in a while though. Probably was pretty easy to penetrate through those firewalls, huh?"

It wasn't and Jim knew that they knew it, not that he'd show it. He got a kick out of seeing the expressions of people when they had completely underestimated him.

Spock's eyebrow rose. "Fascinating."

"Alright, alright," McCoy said gruffly as he stood, "Everyone out. He may be a genius, but he's an idiot that needs to rest."

Jim beamed, "Aw, Bones. I didn't know that you thought so highly of me."

In a movement faster than Jim could trace, Bones had jabbed a hypospray into his neck. "Wha…?"

And then he fell back against his pillow completely unconscious.

Bones pocketed his handy hypospray and rolled his eyes. "After all that, you get taken out by a hypospray?" He shook his head fondly as he ran his fingers through Jim's short hair. "You ingenious idiot."

So, I want you all to know that firstly, I don't have any prior knowledge in electronics, technology, programming, or anything related to engineering, so if I sounded redundant or made some grievous mistakes, please let me know and I'll fix it. Secondly, accents are really, really hard to write out. Again, if there are issues with Chekov's Russian/slightly Polish (I think pronouncing 'v' as 'w' is characteristic of Polish, according to Wikipedia) accent and Scotty's Scottish, please let me know too.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Again, feel free to request, but please do it through review. I don't know why, but somehow it's easier for me to go through reviews than PMs.

The next chapter should be up soon (after finals because I should actually put in some effort to study...sigh...) and for those who are reading my other stories, the last chapters of those should also be worked out and posted soon too.

Thanks for reading and please review!

~ Kanae Yuna

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