If I was Nikki Finke, this headline would probably have a big ‘TOLDJA!’ in it, because I’m pretty sure I predictedAvatar would be the next big trend among furries, LARPers, and assorted obsessed weirdos. Now that the Avatar forums (here and here) have heated up, it appears we may have as much fun with Avatards as we did with Twihards. More, even. Avatards are like Twihards’ older, computer programming cousins. Some of the highlights:

“I cant stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers i got from it. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if i do it i will be re birthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in Avatar..”

“I’ve had the exact same feeling after I first saw Avatar– the sick realization that Pandora isn’t real- and trying anything to just escape this reality and live there instead, even trying to put myself into a coma so my dream world would be Pandora.”

“My urge to be a Na’vi is probably the strongest thing I have ever felt, and also the reality that it will likely never happen. Of course being able to link up with nature, or fly on your own personal dragon-bird is cool, but I want to be a Na’vi for more than that. I’ve pretty much given up all hope in the human race…”

“The only reason it is so easy to be that way on Pandora is because of the tsahaylu that Eywa provides to all creatures. (And even there you still have to watch out for the viperwolves).”

“Im pretty sure we all have felt like this too. After all, we destroyed earth.”

“Start living like Neytiri: in touch with nature, the environment, and not being greedy and wasteful.”

“…Be courageous like Jake, and jump on the leonopteryx.”

“What will our money buy, when everything that is worth having is destroyed? The only way you can fill the emptiness you feel after this movie, is to jump on the leonopteryx.”

Man, that thread really raped my pterodactyl. Nonetheless, you now have your mandate, people. Go forth! Seize the day, and jump on the leonopteryx! And keep f*ckin that chicken.

but keeping jedis and robots on your desk at work is still pretty cool right fellas?

01.06.10 at 12:53 pm

Donkey Hodey

I can relate. I’m still pissed at my parents that they’re not Thundercats.

01.06.10 at 12:54 pm

Jirish

So Avatar forums are like FD boards but more blue?

01.06.10 at 12:54 pm

JHC

Not that I’m defending these people, but I know where they’re coming from.

I remember walking out of the theater after seeing Rocky III and thinking I was going to kick the shit out of the biggest black dude I could find.

When I woke up, Rocky V was out in theaters.

01.06.10 at 12:56 pm

Donkey Hodey

Start living like Neytiri: in touch with nature, the environment, and not being greedy and wasteful.

Just please don’t do it mostly naked like Neytiri. Nobody wants to see your shit jiggle while you’re becoming one with the planet.

01.06.10 at 12:58 pm

Jirish

So “Buy the ticket, take the ride” has become “…Be courageous like Jake, and jump on the leonopteryx.”?

If you need me I’ll be at the gun store.

01.06.10 at 1:00 pm

Morton Salt

I was given one of those T-shirts for Christmas this year. The thinking was “because you really like movies!” No movies were given to me. No gift cards with which to buy movies. Instead, I was given an AVATAR T-shirt. Non-ironically. And, fuck me, I’ve since worn it.

01.06.10 at 1:00 pm

Jirish

The only thing I remember thinking as I walked out of this movie was “Is IHOP still open?”

01.06.10 at 1:02 pm

Jirish

“I like movies and all I got was this t-shirt that supports Cameron’s Hookers-and-Coke daily ritual”

01.06.10 at 1:03 pm

Donkey Hodey

even trying to put myself into a coma so my dream world would be Pandora

I feel it’s important for parents to be supportive in their children’s endeavors.

01.06.10 at 1:05 pm

B.K.

The only thing I remember thinking as I walked out of the movie theater was that I really liked Up In The Air.

01.06.10 at 1:07 pm

Morton Salt

John Soaring Eagle to the people on the Avatar forum:

“Are you god-damned kidding me?”

*Single tear rolls down his cheek.*

01.06.10 at 1:07 pm

Moose

These people haven’t seen The Evil Dead, yet. If they’d had, they’d know that nature isn’t worth saving because of the date raping trees.

01.06.10 at 1:08 pm

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ

I type everything in Papyrus font now, like the Na’avi.

01.06.10 at 1:10 pm

Al

This movie makes you want to kill yourself?

Excuse me, I have a list to compile and a bus to rent.

01.06.10 at 1:11 pm

Morton Salt

What annoyed me about Avatar, honestly, was that when they go to their “science trailer” at the top of the floating mountains, Jake opens his brother’s locker and sees some photos tacked inside. THE PHOTOS HAD DEPTH. 3-D only “works” when it is things that have depth in real life. My expectations were otherwise on par with the experience, but that annoyed me.

01.06.10 at 1:13 pm

Al

My expectations were otherwise on par with the experience

Did you kill yourself?

01.06.10 at 1:14 pm

Burnsy

Not shockingly, these quotes were all taken from the forums at WeVoted4AlGore.com.

01.06.10 at 1:15 pm

ChinoMoreno

I wanted to put myself into a coma so I went and saw Avatar.

01.06.10 at 1:18 pm

Morton Salt

Couldn’t kill myself -got a free ticket, was basically there to assess the 3-D and didn’t expect much story-wise. With the exception of the locker photos, the 3-D was the best I’ve seen. The rest was as I expected.

01.06.10 at 1:18 pm

JordeeVee

Aw, no shout out for the tip? I’m going to go watch Avatar/kill myself.

01.06.10 at 1:18 pm

ChinoMoreno

I wanted to put myself into a coma so I smoked copious amounts of pot. I ended up just eating a big bag of Funyuns and forgot what I was trying to do.

01.06.10 at 1:19 pm

Donkey Hodey

My urge to be a Na’vi is probably the strongest thing I have ever felt, and also the reality that it will likely never happen

I like how this one is holding out hope. Oh, it’ll “likely” never happen. I don’t want to say never, because then I’LL feel like the asshole when people are signing up for blue cat-monkey suits and I have to sit out because I posted on the internet that it wouldn’t ever be done.

its not posable to be “Na’Vi” It “is” posable to to symbolicly connect with what they stand for. When forum members state things like “in the future we will all be Na’Vi they dont mean dress up in a silly costume and run through the woods, they mean humanity living in ballence with the natural world , how is that bad ?

01.06.10 at 1:20 pm

Morton Salt

Boy are these people going to be pissed when they kill themselves and instead of Pandora, their afterlife experience more closely resembles the end of Terminator 2.

01.06.10 at 1:20 pm

Al

The fuck are “Funyuns”? You yanks with your exotic foods.

01.06.10 at 1:22 pm

ChinoMoreno

I wanted to put myself into a coma so I left the house today without my helmet on. I’ll let you know how it goes.

01.06.10 at 1:25 pm

Morton Salt

Funyuns: because sometimes Onion Rings aren’t processed enough.

01.06.10 at 1:25 pm

ChinoMoreno

I wanted to put myself into a coma so I didn’t get dinner on the table promptly at 5:00.

01.06.10 at 1:26 pm

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ

In Pandora, you can listen to any artist you want.

01.06.10 at 1:27 pm

Fek'lhr

I really wanted to learn from Yoda and be a Jedi after I saw Empire Strikes Back. I was also 4 years old.

01.06.10 at 1:28 pm

Al

I wanted to put myself into a coma, so I finished reading “Twilight”.

01.06.10 at 1:28 pm

Fek'lhr

*sheathes lightsaber*

01.06.10 at 1:30 pm

Donkey Hodey

Brittany Murphy wanted to dream about Pandora too.

01.06.10 at 2:00 pm

Eibmoz

Oh, Donk,is that why she was blue when they found her?

01.06.10 at 2:06 pm

Donkey Hodey

You betcha, Eibz.

01.06.10 at 2:06 pm

Eibmoz

Oh, sorry, that was lack of oxygen to her brain. Silly me.

01.06.10 at 2:10 pm

TengoWood

Silly you! New up!

01.06.10 at 2:24 pm

max power

If only these people knew that these Natives completely copied New World Native culture. Then they could just go to Tikal, Santo Domingo, Haiti, and Casinos to get their Na’vi fix.

01.06.10 at 3:15 pm

cutaia

I woke up this morning and everything looked so realisticly three-dimensional. Then I raped some trees and animals. MLIA

The fantasy Na’vi dont have produce offspring with the queue on the back of there heads ,they have seconday sex organs, its a comon mistake for people to think the queue is also a sex organ.

01.06.10 at 3:19 pm

SnarkyTurtle

Jump on the leonopteryx is what Gary Busey tells his hookers from the future.

01.06.10 at 3:47 pm

theend81

These fuckers will be really disappointed when they find out pizza bites don’t grow on trees and if they live at one with nature they won’t be able to catch their manga fix.

01.06.10 at 8:42 pm

A-ron

“What annoyed me about Avatar, honestly, was that when they go to their “science trailer” at the top of the floating mountains, Jake opens his brother’s locker and sees some photos tacked inside. THE PHOTOS HAD DEPTH”.

Hey it’s like over a 100 years into future, who says we don’t have 3-d photographs by then?

01.08.10 at 9:38 am

dedwarmo

I went to Avatar and I had a good time. So sue me.

01.08.10 at 5:44 pm

kakarotto

I would just like to point out that the term “Avatard” was taken long before this film came out by the fans of the Nickelodeon series “Avatar: The Last Airbender”.

02.15.10 at 11:42 am

whateveruiop

fucking dont make fun of the avatar fans, they are amazing people for fucks sake. the fact that they love avatar that much is only a sign of strength. they see the message in it and have the strengh to love it. there’s more to it than you think, the emotional meaning runs deep. these people have the strong and good heart to see this message.

Thanks for sharing you view , Avatar fans realy do care and have a very strong community, grabbing forum posts from threads that the writer never intended to publish outside the forum is a just demostrates the new lows the media will stoop too. Avatar fans have made an honest effort to find solutions to some of the worlds very real human rights and enviromental issues , its a heartfelt connection that drives this fact.

First of all there are two types of Avatar depression, The I am attached to the films fantasy and think pandora is better then earth type that the media are all over, (this is of course is pointless) And the more comon type where people deeply relate to what they saw in the film and connect to very real parallel issues on earth(the media is selectivly blind here) the second issue is very legitimate and deeply emotional, avatar is a mirror story driven by many of our past and present actions the fact that people feel sadness is only human ,and grabing forum posts that are intended only for the context inside those forums is a very unmindfull thing to do.

The third kind of Avatar Depression is easily the most interesting AND the most Freudian! KKKU (Kronos Klingon Knowledge University) calls it “Inordinate Envy of Prehensile Tails”, or “InEPT” for short.

I’m attached to the fantasy because it allows me to escape all those real trees on this planet that I actually live on and spend a couple of hours watching a 100% computer generated production on the blu-ray player attached to my television screen all while enjoying the na’vi friendly taste of cheetos safely from my synthetic cushion-stuffed couch

I`ve somehow always wanted to be Spider Man since I was a kid in the 80s, but that`s about as far as it went. It`s comical to me that so many people seem to have missed that Avatar is a profoundly anti human movie, and you gotta wonder what the motivations are behind releasing trash like this. No wonder the fruitcakes are talking like this on their peculiarly esoteric forum. I was trying to log on and explain to some people that the script, character development and political messages in Avatar makes it a third rate movie, but was prevented from signing in because of the site`s spamming policies.
I mean, the graphics are great but everything else seems like it`s been written by a 12 year old, with dinosaurs, bioluminescent….everything and half naked women riding horses. When I think about the fact that Moon, Sunshine and District 9 were released around the same time as this with no or close to no fanfare and low box office scores I really get depressed. A generation reared on McDonalds, Disney and Friends are showing their true colors with the hysteria about Avatar. All I can do is refuse to watch the inevitable sequel on principle.
I`ll rip from the web when it comes out on DVD to confirm my fears in protest.