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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Competition and Kindness

There is a stark contrast between competition and kindness, but the Bible calls us to a completely different definition of competition that makes it compatible with kindness.

The competitive spirit is alive and well in our culture. It pops up in some of the most unexpected places and can be shocking to those who do not possess it. It can be damaging and confusing when you are caught off guard by it. This kind of
competition, sadly, is prevalent even in the church. We see it pop up regarding parenting ( home school vs. private or public school, cloth diapers vs. disposables, breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, parenting styles etc.), ministry, people with the same skill sets competing for recognition, and the list goes on. Some people are so driven by a competitive spirit that they naturally make everything a competition, and they are impossible to have a relationship with because they lack compassion. A competitive spirit is divisive, unloving, self-seeking,
and confusing to those who truly do not wish to compete.

Is competition always wrong?

Do we have to make a choice between competition
OR kindness?

Can there be both?

The Bible says

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and
do
not lean on your own understanding.6 In all your ways acknowledge him,and
he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“But the wisdom from above is first
pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits,
impartial and sincere.” James 3:17

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him
ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:5

A word study can reveal some interesting facts. Consider the following words and their meanings:

I don't know about you, but the words “against
each other”really popped out
as strong language to me, because there is
an underlying and sometimes overt sense of disengagement with other people when there is a high level of competitiveness. Winning or receiving accolades is more important than kindness and compassion. Building someone else up or encouraging them is threatening to a competitive spirit, unless someone else isn't skilled in the same area, or isn't as accomplished, or experienced.

“If
you're competitive, you want to be the best. No one likes to lose, but
if you are a competitive person, it will be especially disappointing to
see someone else win. People
who are competitive like to compete — to find out who knows the most, runs the
fastest, can eat the most hot dogs, and so on. Some people are competitive
about everything. You'll know them by their constant comparing themselves to
others and trying to find out what others have and do — in order to be sure
they are still "ahead." Competitive can describe any contest,
like a competitive sandcastle-building event.”https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/competitive

Also
listed in this article as a part of what defines a competitive person:

“Showing a fighting disposition”

As
I continued my search, the words “power
hungry” appeared in relation to the competitive drive, and this is what one
definition of power hungry said:

The Biblical description of competition looks very different than our cultural view, and it's also in great contrast to our natural inclinations towards competition.

I
Corinthians 9: 24-27 says:

“24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run,
but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25 Every
athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.26 So I
do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 27 But
I discipline my body and keep it under control,[b]
lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”

Romans
12:10 says

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor”

God
tells us to compete with one another, but not in the sense that the
world, or our own flesh would naturally do. “Outdo one another in showing HONOR!” God calls us to compete for
each other. We can’t do that if we are competing againsteach other.

Philippians 2:3-4

“Do nothing from selfish
ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than
yourselves.4 Let each of you look
not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Galations
5:16-26

“But
I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For
the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit
are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from
doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the
Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the
flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry,
sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries,
dissensions,
divisions, 21 envy,[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.
I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not
inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness,
self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those
who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and
desires.”

25 If we live by the Spirit, let us
also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited,
provoking one another, envying one another.

John 3:16 “God so loved the world, that he
gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have
eternal life.”

I love what Jack Wellman says about this.

Greater Love Has No Man

John 15:13 “Greater
love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

“We could paraphrase this verse to read, “No one has
a greater love than that which he or she would willingly die for their friend.”
This reminds me of the many veterans who are serving
and who have ever served their countries for their nation’s freedom. Many
did give their lives to defend what we often take for granted. I have
heard true stories of veterans who threw themselves on hand grenades to save
their fellow soldiers lives but didn‘t live to tell about it. Those whom
they saved retell this most selfless act. That kind of love reflects the
agape love of God. The agape love is the greatest love that there is
and it is the type of love that gives a person over to sacrificing their own
life to save another. This love was most abundantly displayed on the
cross by Jesus Christ. He gave His life as a ransom for the many (Mark
10:45, 1 Tim 2:6).” Jack Wellman http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2013/06/12/10-most-important-bible-verses-on-love/

I came across an excellent article on leadership, and pulled out a short
excerpt to share. It sounds like “servant leadership” which is what Jesus modeled in the New Testament.

Serving Others through
Empowerment

“The above mentioned
traits have one thing at their center: people. And it’s this focus on people
that seems to motivate many of the most successful leaders, from athletic
coaches to business entrepreneurs. Often possessing an innate ability to see in
others what those people may not see in themselves, the true leader
cultivates the best in people and genuinely
wants to see them succeed.

Also viewed as a mentor, the true leader delivers
empowerment by providing resources, enabling others to realize options and
possibilities they hadn’t thought of through exposure to external or internal
education and development. Within this scenario, the leader is motivated to
liberate subordinates rather than control them, thereby generating a more
collaborative environment that leads to innovation, competitive edge and
overall success.

Though this approach
is impractical for military or law enforcement, where following the orders of
an authoritarian leader is necessary due to the often confidential nature of
information, on the whole, true leaders in the civilian world strive to help others learn, grow and develop by
freeing them from the limitations that hold them back. In doing so, these
individuals inspire a natural state of loyalty that, as seen in the 100 Best
Companies to Work For cited above, leads to unquestionable success.” Article: What Motivates
True Leaders?

*Bold fonts
and italics, mine*

Leadership tends to draw strong, competitive,
personalities, and some are so driven that they overpower and squash those
around them who simply enjoy the activities they are involved in, enjoy people and desire to serve. Rather than build
others up, they see them as a threat to be reckoned with.

Christ like leadership qualities look very
different than competitive controlling qualities.

Christ like Leadership Qualities

“Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give
his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28

Provides
credit for success to others rather than only accepting it for themselves (Luke
6:31, Matthew 20:26, John 3:30)

Enlightens
people through development and education, whether based on the leader’s
personal experience or outside resources (John 13:1-7, Proverbs 11:14)

Able
to handle conflict diplomatically, kindly, and firmly (Galations 5:22-23)

Seeks
to elevate others, rather than self (Mark 10:42-45, I Peter 5:3,Philippians 2:3-8)

Team
mentality ( 1 Peter 5:1-14)

Integrity
(Acts 20:18, Acts 20:31)

So yes, you can have
both kindness and competition, but it it doesn’t look the same as the
competition we see in our culture. God’s ways are always higher than mans’
ways, and when we apply Proverbs 3:5-6 by trusting in Him with all of our
hearts, rather than trusting our own understanding, and acknowledging Him in
everything, He will be faithful to direct our paths.

4 comments
:

Yes, it seems it is everywhere. I sense a sort of jealousy and envy even in the blog world at times in the way bloggers handle others etc. Omission and commission. Popularity contests of the sort and it ought not be.

I so understand what you have written, as my husband often reminds: Even the Bible says, 'Jealousy and envy, who can stand against it?'

It's always so good to hear from you! And Exactly! Your husband pointed out an important biblical truth. Jealousy and envy are so destructive. It really does break my heart that there is so much competition rather than unity, support, building up, and working together.....and you are right. It's everywhere. If we all just competed in honoring it would be amazing how powerfully God could use us as we combined the talents He has given us, and loved one another deeply as God tells us to do in His Word. I have seen it amongst bloggers, too. :(Blessings to you, Amelia, and thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Thank you so much, Amelia! This world is full of grief, and I would be dishonest if I didn't say it has touched my life many times, but it's such a blessing to know that God is sovereign over everything and He will use the difficulties in this world to sanctify us. And YES! The reminder of Jesus humility being his strength is so good. Love, LOVE, love!!!! <3

Welcome

Bio

Jana Taft is a happily married wife to her best friend Rich, mom to seven awesome kiddos, and goes by “Nama” to her eight beautifulgrandblessings. Grandblessing number nine is under construction and her familyeagerly awaits his arrival in October. Jana has been blogging for over tenyears and enjoys writing, photography, decorating her home, writing music,singing with family and friends in different venues, and has dabbled inresearch on the subject of nutrition for over twenty years. She began her homeschool journey twenty-six years ago, and continues to teach her five childrenthat still live at home. Jana enjoys writing about many different subjects includingsharing her favorite recipes with other busy moms who desire to providehealthy, nutritious meals that are simple and easy, for their families. Being agood steward in all areas including health, fitness, nutrition, teaching andtraining her children, friendships, and talents is a passion God has laid onher heart. To glorify God with her life is her strongest desire, and shebelieves that pressing into Him for strength and wisdom each day is the onlyway to be equipped for life on this earth.