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In remembrance of april beth pitzer 1974-2012

April,my beautiful baby girl.Today you are being pronounced " legally dead" This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Please know I haven't given up hope to find you. I will look for you until I find you or die trying. As long as I can see and walk I will search for you. April, it greives me so much knowing that in an instant your life was over.Knowing how you had overcome so many health issuses since the moment you were born. You fought so hard as a newborn baby to live. At 10 months old you were given a few hours to live, and you fought to live. Again at one yr old the infection came back and your lung collasped again, but your will to live was greater, and you pulled through. When I was pregnant family members wanted me to abort you or give you up for adoption. I never considered either. I was beaten and kicked in the stomach over and over by the person hoping I would abort you. But God knew how much I loved and wanted you, even though I was a 17 yr old child ,you were mine and I couldn't wait to hold you in my arms. I was so glad you were a little girl. You were the prettiest most perfect dolly I could ever hope for. It was amazing love at first sight. I am so sorry your life was taken. I would have asked them to of taken mine instead. Words cannot express the void your absence has taken from the girls, myself, and the people who truly loved you. You are so missed. If i would have known that phone call would be our last I would have kept you on the phone all day. If i would have known that would be the last time to hug you i would have held you longer and tighter. had i known that would be our last kiss on the cheek and butterfly kiss i would have smothered you. had i known it would be the last time you would take my hand and squeeze it in that special gentle way, i would have held on longer. had i known that would be the last time i would wash your clothes with downy as you asked when i mailed you the 2 boxes of clothes. i would have sent you a jug full. So many things i would have done differently had i known i would lose you at 30.

I am sorry for anything i could of done and didn't and sorry for yhe things i couldn't do or never got around to doing. Sorry i wasn't there to protect you when you needed me most. you were and always will be my greatest love and joy. when my time comes i pray you're the angel that comes for me.April your girls are beautiful. they're so smart. i know it's because of all the books you read while they were in your womb. i know the girls were your greatest accomplishment in life and you loved them more than anything. i also know you thought you would also be protecing them if you left. you feared for their lives more than your own. i am so sorry your greatest fear caught up to you.I pray you didn't suffer. if i were to ever find out you suffered i don't think i could take it. today is a hard day indeed. i hope you can somehow see how broken into this day has caused me to be. today be at peace my baby girl, no more being afraid, no more running, no fears nor shedding anymore tears. walk with the angels and know you're in the shelter of God the arms of Jesus will hold you until I can once more. I love and miss you my dolly, my precious, beautiful baby girl. I want you to know also how cheated you and your girls were. how short your life was made. what fun you were and how I miss seeing you jump up and down with 2 babies in tow when I drove up. you touched many lives and your memories are treasures to all who knew you... love,Mommy