Helping Children Get Through A Divorce

September 29, 2017Accel Admin

Divorce can be extremely stressful on a child. They could go through a range of emotions, very quickly changing from happy to sad to angry and even confused. It’s important that divorcing spouses don’t get lost in the logistics of their divorce and remember to consider how their children are feeling and coping. Many children, or even young adults, can understand why they are going through so many emotions so quickly. It’s also likely that they cannot express themselves or don’t know how to really express themselves. As a result, it’s important to make sure that you communicate with them about the divorce and remind them that they will always be loved and taken care of.

What are some ways I can help my child cope with the divorce?

Children are experiencing an upheaval of the lives when parents’ divorce. It may seem like suddenly someone removed the floor from underneath them. Making sure that your child receives support and guidance through the divorce process can help them come out more resilient, understanding, and hopefully with the exact bond with both their parents. Some ways that you can help your child manage the divorce can be:

Providing a safe comfort zone for them. Let them know it is ok to talk about their emotions and about the divorce. Open lines of communication can help them cope with these big changes.

Honesty is the best policy. Being honest with them about the divorce can help your child be reassured that there are no secrets about what’s going on.

Seeking help from a professional. Sometimes intervention from a child specialist or child psychologist is necessary as they can encourage children to express themselves. They can also help a parent see a child’s perspective on the divorce and how it may be affecting them.

Avoid blaming or name calling a spouse. It’s always important to try and remain amicable and friendly with the other spouse in front of the children.

Try your best to co-parent for your child, and provide structure. Divorcing spouses who can co-parent and are able to set and maintain schedules, allowing for a sense of normalcy to be instilled.

Reassure your child that they are loved. Unfortunately, children often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Letting them know that they are not the reason for the divorce and that they are greatly loved can help with their coping.

Children are resilient and can overcome the difficulties of divorce. It’s important to make sure they are not forgotten in the midst of an all-consuming divorce. It will take time to work through any issues or struggles they may have, but with the right attitude, mindset, and cooperation, there will be improvement.

Leslye M. Schlesinger serves Rockland and Westchester County with compassion and integrity. With over 30 years of experience guiding clients through matrimony law, she now focuses on helping clients avoid litigation through alternative dispute resolution, including collaborative divorce and mediation. If you need an effective and committed attorney, contact Leslye M. Schlesinger for a consultation.

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