It is in the fifth book of this series where there is a variation from the pattern of previous books. The Austere Academy finds the Baudelaire orphans heading off to boarding school rather than to a new guardian. The apparently prestigious school is run by an unpleasant Vice Principal and with an enormous set of ridiculous rules. The two older Baudelaires are assigned to classes, but Sunny being too young is to become a secretary. This book really is mostly a collection of oddities: teachers that do not make sense, poor violin playing, and an orphan shack infested with crabs. Olaf arrives, of course, but even his plot to capture the orphans is a bit nonsensical: requiring them to run all night long in hopes of making them too tired to pass their courses.

Among the oddities, we are introduced to a handful of new characters that will continue into future books. The obnoxious Carmelita Spats, a bully who becomes the messenger of Count Olaf, has a small role here, but reoccurs in later books. On a more pleasant note, we finally have a bit of positivity for the orphans in the form of friends: two of the Quagmire triplets. The Baudelaires and the Quagmires find that they have quite a bit in common, both coming from rich families and having been orphaned after their parents were killed in a fire. The children work together to begin solving the mystery around “V.F.D.” – a recurring acronym that they believe to be linked to the mystery of their parents’ deaths. In the end, the children escape Count Olaf again, but the Quagmires are not so lucky. Although not quite a cliffhanger, the book ends with the Quagmires kidnapped by Olaf, kicking off a new plot line, as the Baudelaires deal with their miseries while simultaneously searching for their friends and seeking clues to the mystery of V.F.D.

The Ersatz Elevator

After the drama at the boarding school, the orphans move on their way to a new pair of guardians: Jerome and Esme Squalor. Esme is the sixth most important financial advisor in the city, and is overly concerned with what is “in” – which becomes a theme for the book. Luckily for the Baudelaire’s, orphans are in. While Jerome takes an interest in the children, Esme is much more concerned with her own affairs. There is a ton going on in this book: another Count Olaf plot, an effort to rescue the Quagmires, and more clues related to V.F.D. There is also a first here for the series, when the children tell an adult about Count Olaf’s disguise and plot, and are believed. Unfortunately, this is because they reveal their discoveries to Esme Squalor, who has secretly been working with Count Olaf all along. In the end, Esme leaves to join Count Olaf who is still at large with the captive Quagmires, and the orphans are left with another flawed guardian: Jerome Squalor, who despite good intentions feels that the orphans need to forget about the idea of rescuing their friends.

The characters and events in this book also give us a bit more insight into the narrator. Throughout the series we get glimpses of the life of the narrator, which become increasingly overt. Here, we see some additional connections with names and characters, allowing the reader to piece together the mystery of V.F.D. with information unknown to the children.

A final note on this book is that I finished part of this in a new format for me: an audiobook. I decided to try out the audio after I realized that I was behind in the series, and that I was going to be spending a large amount of time driving over the next few days. What a treat this turned out to be! The official audiobook is narrated by Tim Curry, who does a fabulous job at bringing the story to life. His voice is a perfect fit for the style of the story, and he is appropriately creative in giving voice to the dialogue of each character.

The Vile Village

In book seven, we get another slight variation on the guardian plot. Rather than being turned over to a single guardian, the orphans are taken in by an entire village. After all, it does take a village to raise a child, right? The children choose from a list of villages that are willing to take them, in hopes that the village V.F.D. relates to the mystery they have been trying to solve. Unfortunately for the children, the Village of Fowl Devotees is not only the incorrect V.F.D., it is a run by a council who is overly devoted to nonsensical rules and believes that the prime method of raising children is to make them complete chores. The children find themselves in the care of Hector, the town handyman, who turns out to be an amiable companion. He does not prescribe to the village’s rules, but is also afraid to stand up to anyone on the council. It appears briefly that the children may have found a way to escape their unpleasant lives: Hector is working on a self-sustaining hot air mobile home, and the children have found clues that allude to the Quagmires being hidden nearby.

The children hope to rescue the Quagmires and then escape with Hector in his mobile home. An unexpected twist occurs when the children hear that Count Olaf has been captured in the village, and will be imprisoned. In a reversal on the usual events, the children inform the village that the person they have captured is not Count Olaf, but are not believed. In an increasingly complicated turn of events, the captured person, Jaques Snicket, is killed, and the children are falsely accused of his murder. The story wraps up with quite a slew of exciting happenings, that set the stage for the remainder of the series: Count Olaf as a fake detective, a prison break, the daring rescue of the Quagmires, and additional mishaps that cause the Baudelaires to be separated from their friends again, leaving the village running for their lives as fugitives.

The Hostile Hospital

The second half of the series finds the Baudelaires venturing out on their own; after a series of misunderstandings has them fleeing as accused murderers. They attempt to contact Mr. Poe for help, but cannot reach him. The orphans stumble upon another incorrect V.F.D.—the Volunteers Fighting Disease—which leads them to Heimlich Hospital and its Library of Records. The orphans use their opportunity of volunteering that the hospital to search for clues about the correct V.F.D., leading them to engage in some of their own sneaky behaviors. While the orphans are wondering about the consequences of treacherous behaviors with good intentions, Count Olaf launches the next step in his scheme, which leads him to the same Library of Records in search of the “Snicket File.”

The orphans find themselves trapped in the Library of Records with Esme Squalor as she searches for the file, destroying much of the library and capturing Violet in the process. Klaus and Sunny find themselves needing to form a plan of their own to save their sister from Count Olaf, using some clever research along with some disguises and tricks they have picked up from Olaf himself. While the orphans are able to escape, they find themselves with an increasing list of false accusations reported in the newspaper and nowhere to go. The see Count Olaf about to leave the scene of the now burning hospital, and decide their best option is to stowaway in his car: at least this way they will be able to keep track of what he is up to.

The Carnivorous Carnival

While I was personally less excited about this particular addition to the series than others, it does provide an ideal setting for a major turning point in the series. The Baudelaires follow Count Olaf to the Caligari Carnival, where he is meeting up with the fortuneteller Madame Lulu. The orphans disguise themselves as freaks in order to join the carnival freak show and find out more about what is going on. Through their investigation, the children discover that Madame Lulu is a fake—she has a mechanical device to produce thunder and lightning when she is asked a question, using this as a distraction to reference her research and provide answers. She has a strict policy of giving everyone what they want, which causes her to dwell in morally ambiguous territory. She is able to give the children some true information about the V.F.D. they have been looking for, telling them of a schism that has caused the organization to fragment into two factions: volunteers and villains. She agrees to help the orphans, but this agreement puts her at odds with her policy of giving everyone what they want: she will have to deny Count Olaf the information he wants.

There are a few interesting themes floating around in this one, the first being the presence of the freaks. To be honest, they are not very “freakish” at all: a hunchback, a contortionist, and a man who is ambidextrous. However, they are all so focused on their slight differences that they become magnified and are treated poorly because of it. This book also places stronger emphasis on some themes from earlier books: are villainous actions justified when you have noble intentions? Up to this point, the orphans have been portrayed villainously in the newspaper based on misunderstandings and accidents. Here, they begin to intentionally engage in some questionable behaviors. After a close call with a pit of lions, the orphans and other freaks agree to join up with Count Olaf’s troupe. They help him set the fire to burn the carnival to the ground, and then leave with the freak caravan tied to the back of Olaf’s car. It is here, with Violet and Klaus in the freak caravan, and Sunny in the car with Olaf and the other henchman, we make the discovery that leads to the series’ first cliffhanger: Madame Lulu was unable to keep her promise to the Baudelaires. She revealed their true identities to Olaf, who now has Sunny in his clutches, and cuts loose the freak caravan to send the others tumbling down the side of a mountain.

I realized toward the end of November that I was not quite on track to meet my total book goal by the end of the year. As I often do at that time of year, I looked through my shelves for the shortest books on my to read list, hoping to give myself a little boost to end of the year and start 2020 on a positive note. I ended up settling on a book series that was on my mental to read list, if not my actual shelves: A Series of Unfortunate Events. It had been recommended to me several years ago, and I knew it was available for free from my school’s online library.

This series is aimed at late elementary or middle grade children, but has elements of wit and humor that would be more appreciated by adults. There were several moments that caused me to smirk, but would likely be skimmed over by younger readers. This includes references in characters and actions to other works, as well as some humor in interpretations of vocabulary. For the majority of the series, the youngest Baudelaire, Sunny, talks in baby talk which is interpreted by her siblings. While most of these are straightforward nonsense words, there are a few that include real words or other references that were clearly targeted for adult readers. These are worked in to the style of the story naturally, which perfectly expands the potential for enjoyment across age groups.

Each book works as a stand-alone story, although the later books in the series are more clearly linked together. Any references to events in previous books are given proper explanation at the time, which is nice for continuity. I liked that the stories became increasingly complex throughout the series, but still kept to a consistent style. Although I did enjoy reading these, I have to say that the series is aptly named: all of these books are quite unfortunate. Each one starts with a warning to the reader about the wretched lives of the Baudelaire orphans, suggesting that perhaps it may be a good idea to find something a bit less depressing to read. Although the story lines are brought to a conclusion with each book, and in many ways things work out in favor of the orphans, each “happy ending” is not quite happy.

The Bad Beginning

Where else to start, but with the bad beginning? This book sets up the misery in the lives of the Baudelaires, beginning with the death of their parents in a fire. We get an introduction to each of the main players here: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, with their inventions, books, and teeth to add to their resourcefulness. And then of course our villain, Count Olaf. As their first guardian after the loss of their parents, Olaf makes it clear early on that he is more interested in the children’s inheritance than the children, and hatches his first scheme to get his hands on their fortune by forcing Violet into a marriage. Of course, the children are too clever to let him get away with it. We are just in sight of a happy ending when we get another twist, and Mr. Poe, the banker in charge of their parents’ will, sends them on to their next guardian.

This book sets the stage for the remainder of the series, as well as establishing some stylistic elements that carry throughout. The narrator tells a parallel story, focusing on the Baudelaires, but giving occasionally hints as to his own misery and questionable situation. The book uses some vocabulary that would be somewhat advanced for the target audience of these books, but does a nice job of explaining terms with a bit of humor. These start quite reasonably, but become a bit more grandiose and absurd as the series progresses. I felt this was a solid start for the series, as it left me wanting to know what happens next, but satisfied with the conclusion.

The Reptile Room

After their experience with their first guardian, the Baudelaires are understandably reluctant to meet their next guardian: their Uncle Monty, a herpetologist whom they have never met. Things go well for a while, with the children’s talents put to good use with Uncle Monty’s collection of pythons, vipers, and other reptiles. For the first time since the death of their parents, they find some happiness in their new home and are excited to accompany Monty on an expedition to search for new reptile species. That is, until Uncle Monty’s new assistant arrives—whom the children immediately recognize as Count Olaf in disguise. Despite their efforts to warn Uncle Monty, Olaf always seems a step ahead in threatening them to keep quiet. He launches another scheme to get their fortune, beginning with murdering Uncle Monty, making the death appear accidental.

This kicks off a theme that remains through most of the series: adults being oblivious to the treachery that is obvious to the Baudelaires. I think this is a theme that resonates with younger readers: adults seem unaware of what it is like to be children, and because the Baudelaire orphans are children, much of what they say is dismissed. This is especially prevalent with Mr. Poe, who begins to use the excuse that the Baudelaires “see Olaf everywhere” after their first traumatic experience, despite the fact each time they claim to see Olaf, they turn out to be correct.

The Wide Window

The third book in the series follows the same pattern as the previous, beginning with the Baudelaires on their way to meet a new guardian, Aunt Josephine. This guardian turns out to be another kind, but imperfect, guardian: since the death of her husband, she has become fearful of nearly everything. She is fanatical about grammar, but excited about little else. The children fall into a routine until, as expected, Count Olaf shows up in disguise as a Captain Sham. As usual, their guardian does not initially believe the children, although she does eventually realize Olaf’s plot. The problem, of course, is that she is too afraid to do anything about it.

In this book, we get a clearer glimpse into Klaus’s particular talents: reading and research. When Aunt Josephine discovers Olaf’s plot and flees, she leaves a coded message in the form of a purported suicide note. Klaus recognizes the code from the many grammatical errors included, and uses this information to find where she has hidden herself. As with previous books, we come to our not quite happy ending: Olaf’s plot is foiled, but with the loss of Aunt Josephine and the children are sent on their way to another guardian.

The Miserable Mill

With the miserable mill, there is a slight break from the typical guardian routine. The Baudelaires are sent to a new guardian, who is the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumber Mill. Rather than take an interest in the children, their guardian, Sir, puts them to work at the mill and has them living in the quarters with the other employees. Even without the issues of child labor here, the mill is run in a fashion of borderline slave labor, with the employees paid in coupons rather than money and provided with only one meal per day. As always, Olaf is lurking just around the corner, but this particular plot is a bit more convoluted and relies on several of Olaf’s henchman. The guardian Sir is much more concerned about the smooth operation of his mill than anything else, and with the help of a hypnotist, Olaf attempts to monopolize on their guardian’s ambivalence to the orphans.

One theme that had been introduced in the previous book is continued here: the presence of helpful adults who fall short of expectations. Aunt Josephine had been concerned for the children, but too fearful to act. In The Miserable Mill, the children meet Charles, their guardian’s business partner, who is kind and seems to want the best for them. He offers help when able, and quietly advocates for the children, but is too afraid to speak up too adamantly in their defense. As usual, the children are able to defeat Olaf in his plot with little help from the adults around them, ending the book with the need for a new guardian.

In honor of my first post for the month being on April Fools’ Day, I decided to mix things up a bit with a novelty book rather than a children’s book. For the remainder of the month I will be featuring a children’s series, so I thought it would be fitting to start a little differently.

This book of cat-penned poems was given to me by my Secret Santa, along with a pair of socks featuring Boris’s face. It’s so nice when your Secret Santa truly gets you.

As I said above, this is a novelty book. It is the kind of thing you keep around for a quick laugh, but generally would not plan to read straight through. The book is separated into a few sections, each with a different theme for the poems. This is not high quality poetry; after all, how much can you expect from a cat? Most of them are silly, with an appropriate amount of cat-attitude. A few are a little difficult to get through, despite being short in length. I can roll with stupid humor, but sometimes it just does not click for me. And then, of course, there are a few that are spot on hilarious and made the whole book worth reading.

I submit for your review, a selection from this collection:

I could lie by your side for the rest of our lives

I think I’ll walk away right now

I could let you pet me for a hundred years

I think we need some time apart

I could be kissed a thousand thousand times

I think I’m needed somewhere else

I could sit on your lap forever

I said I could sit on your lap forever

Don’t you even think about trying to get up

Well, you should have gone to the bathroom beforehand

Because forever is a very, very long time

Minka’s Thoughts: “I’m confused. Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?”

For March, the Unread Shelf Project challenged everyone to read the book that has been on your shelf the longest. Technically, I did the same last month, when I chose a book that was gifted to me, but also at the “bottom of my pile.” I suppose now is a perfect time to give that a little more context. I joined Goodreads some time in 2010, but only listed books that I had recently read. On January 1, 2o11, I decided to add my list of books to read, which was already quite hefty at that point in time. I added them all to my online to read list within the next couple days, in approximate alphabetical order. This is the bottom of my stack. I no longer have any idea what order I actually obtained these in, so I do not prioritize further. I try to make a point to choose at least a few books specifically from that group every year. There are currently 45 books still remaining from those that I initially added.

When I browsed through the list, I decided on Maya Angelou for a few different reasons. It seemed appropriate for the time of year, as we are transitioning from Black History Month to Women’s’ History Month. Maya Angelou is an author that I know immediately by name, but one that I had never read up to this point. I also have a peculiar and nostalgic back-story to go along with my particular copy: I quite literally found it in an abandoned building. For several years, my primary friend group consisted of a few photographers and other interesting characters that spent a good amount of our free time in urban exploration. We all lived near Detroit, and visited many sites around the city that were no longer in use: churches, schools, apartments, hotels, hospitals, and of course, the well known Michigan Central Station. While we had a fairly strict policy of making as little impact as possible, we did collect a few treasures along the way (no breaking in, no vandalism, and nothing else that could be considered destructive of the spaces). However, the number of unused and forgotten books found inside the old Cass Tech High School hurt my soul, and I had to give at least a few of them a new home. My soul still aches to think of all that remained inside that school when it was torn down in July 2011.

I know this seems a long introduction with little connection to the book that I am supposed to be writing about. However, something about my memories of that time fit too perfectly with my feelings reading this book, and I could not let the opportunity to share my story pass by. While the overall story of Maya Angelou’s early life is intriguing, this book is about her the journey. Born in California, Maya and her brother were sent to live with their grandmother in rural Arkansas. They were raised there, then brought to St. Louis to live with their mother, returned to Arkansas, and eventually returned again to their mother’s care in California. While the places are not essential, the experiences in each of these locations shaped her character and spirit. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a memoir told in snippets; each chapter captures a memory or a moment in time. While any one of these moments might not seem significant in the grand scheme, each is an important piece of the puzzle that has shaped the life of this woman. The story is told beautifully from the perspective of a child, but tempered with honesty and perspective gained from reflecting as an adult. Angelou’s language is vivid, but not graphic, as she tackles her experiences of discrimination, violence, rape, and others.

I was prompted to finally get this book off my to read list by two things. I happened to be sitting in on a Fifth Grade class when they started to read this as a group, and was at least a little intrigued. It happened to work out that this also fit into the December prompt for the Unread Shelf Project, which suggested reading the shortest book on your shelf. Until this, I had avoided reading this one for quite some time, as I had been told that it was sad. Considering that I knew this was a book about a dog, I made some assumptions about why it might be sad, and decided to pass—who really needs to read another book where the dog dies at the end? Well, spoiler alert: that’s not what happens. In fact, we actually get a happy ending! Of course, I did not know that going in. Perhaps the surprise of a happier than expected ending biased me some in favor of the book, but I am glad that I finally decided to pick up this quite popular children’s novel.

Our main character, Opal, has recently moved with her father, the Preacher, to a new town. Being new, she is unsure of her place in the town, and seems a bit withdrawn and certainly lonely. Enter Winn-Dixie, the stray dog she claims as her own after he has wreaked havoc in the produce section of the local grocery store. Opal’s father has taught her to help the less fortunate, and this dog certainly fits the bill: he is skinny, gangly, and generally appears to be in rough condition. Winn-Dixie quickly wins over Opal, her father, and then a large number of people throughout the town. With the help of the dog, Opal starts to meet and open up to various people around the town.

One of the things that I found interesting in Opal’s journey is that the lesson she learns through Winn-Dixie about opening up to others and not judging based on looks, is something that she already knew—sort of. Opal has a soft spot for the outsiders, which I suppose goes along well with her taking in a rough looking dog. Opal was quick to befriend Otis at the pet shop, despite being told that he had been in jail. She quickly accepted the woman whom the other children referred to as a witch. While she is willing to let these people into her world, she is quick to judge many of the others around her, especially other children and the people who belong to her father’s church.

This is a great middle and upper elementary novel, and works really well for classroom discussions. I imagine that is not a major revelation to anyone. There is good reason that this book is often taught in school. There can be a lot to unpack here, in Opal’s relationships to the town, to her father, and the catalyst for growing up a bit she finds when she brings home Winn-Dixie.

This book was a semi-random purchase as a Christmas gift for my cousin’s son. When my family was a bit smaller than it is now, I started the tradition of buying books for the kids that came for my family’s Christmas Eve celebration. It was easy at first. When I started this, there were three; we are now up to 12. I suppose there are worse things than being known as the family member to count on for a new book, but it has become increasingly difficult to find books that the kids will enjoy, and to try to remember which ones I have already given each of them! I usually go to my cousins for ideas for their kids, but both my cousin and I were stumped on this one. He loves adventure, but can be picky. He likes graphic novels, but has read most of the popular ones. I had a few ideas, but nothing I was too excited about, so I decided to browse a bit at the store. I ended up stumbling upon this one which I think was a perfect fit: a sort of adventure, but also a lot of goofiness; not quite a graphic novel, but definitely a nice balance of pictures interwoven into the story.

One day, while Mum is away, Dad is forced to run to the corner store to get some milk for breakfast. When he takes longer than expected, the children are suspicious about where he has been, but fortunately the milk was there to save him on his wild and wacky journey back home. It all starts with a strange noise as he steps out from the corner store, and then there is no stopping this ridiculous and fun tale from unwinding. There is something here to please everyone: aliens, time travel, dinosaurs, pirates, human sacrifice, hot air balloons… all seemingly random, but strung together into the perfect narrative to entertain young and old.

Based on reading level, I think this probably works best as an independent read for mid to upper elementary children. It is novel length, but not really separated out into chapters. There are many pictures incorporated throughout the text, along with interesting text blocking to make everything flow nicely. I can see the interest level on this extending a bit younger, but could see it being a bit difficult as a read aloud book. The length is certainly too much for a typical bedtime story, but without chapters, it’s not quite as easy to break it up for multiple reading sessions.

Boris’s thoughts: “You were supposed to take the picture before you wrapped it and put it in the Christmas bag.”

The February prompt for The Unread Shelf Project was a book that was gifted to you. This book was gifted to me quite some time ago—I’m going to guess some time around my 25th birthday, back in 2011. My friend Kirsten and I had a tradition of celebrating our birthdays very late with the exchange of books as gifts. It was included in the first chunk of books that I added onto my official to read list on Goodreads; the 50ish books that I consider the true bottom of my to read pile. I digress. I suppose my point is that this certainly fits the bill for the purpose of this project, as it not only meets the prompt but also has been waiting for me for quite some time (sorry, Kirsten).

I had a little bit of a Chuck Palahniuk kick back around that time, which I remember talking about with my friend; I am sure part of the reason that she decided on this particular book as a gift, although I am not sure that she had read it. I read Fight Club, Choke, and then Haunted, all in fairly short succession. While I enjoyed them all, I needed a break from the madness. There is something about Palahniuk’s work that leaves me a little mentally exhausted. Invisible Monsters was no exception to that—I quickly found myself totally engrossed in this book. The writing and style are intriguing, but the story itself is like a train wreck where you cannot help but gape at the disaster.

One of the reviews printed in the first few pages of the book describes it as a “twisted soap opera,” and I feel that really hits the nail on the head. Although generally moving forward in time, the story is told non-sequentially, with many flashbacks that help each bit of this crazy puzzle fit together. The plot twists and turns, while somehow still moving forward at the hurtling speed of a runaway train. There is commentary along the way about the nature of existence, although I feel like it is up to the reader to decide how deeply this should be taken: maybe we are simply dealing with the insane ramblings of the drug-addled troupe, or perhaps there is something more there, in the need to break free from expectations and the possibilities brought forth from utter disaster and chaos.

At several points during my reading, I wondered at how the story was progressing and the direction it seemed to aim. The first chapter gives some not-at-all-subtle foreshadowing of what is to come, and while it all seemed to fit perfectly with the narrative, I felt myself feeling increasingly dissatisfied with how I expected things to turn out. No doubt that the book was entertaining, but the ending I anticipated seemed a sort of anticlimax in that it wrapped things up just a bit too neatly. I should have known better. There were a few additional twists waiting at the end, after the rest of the story and caught up to the opening paragraphs. The conclusion feels perfect, but also leaves a funny taste in my mouth, to be quite honest: an unusual combination of dark humor and philosophical thought.