@wordpervert
you don’t hold soap. i used to partake in the female version of this activity during the 6 weeks of no sex that follows childbirth. a bottle of sangria and a clit vibrator can restore sanity to new moms.
you do the actual cleaning part first, then go to town until you get off or the water gets cold.

I have no idea why I was under the impression the soap was involved in anal sex, which made Word’s question quite legitimate. Might be I’m mixing this with what I was reading earlier on geniuses and weird sex habits.
I think I’ll go home and sleep now.
Maybe set a date with the shower first, though

I don’t think I really want to know but why can’t you have sex for 6 weeks afterchildbirth #6? Did your partner put you in timeout? I’d think it be the guy in the shower trying to find othermeans to pleasure himself while the new mom recovers, but if it’s the wife in the shower all by herself…?? You got fat didn’t you?

Or maybe the wife has to wait because it takes 6 weeks for the guy to get over the trauma of seeing a bulbous head thrusting OUT of the vagina rather than disappearing into it. That’s some sci-fi shit right there.

saffer, i’m no expert on childbirth, but presumably the 6 week thing has something to do with the fact that her fanny got ripped at the seams. plus, she probably wouldn’t feel a thing – it would be like throwing a sausage down a hallway, what’s the point?

curlybap, are you telling me that you could pass something the size of a marrow through your front bottom and have your tiny tuppence remain intact? i’ve dabbled in anal stretching before, and i’ve seen the damage that can be done by vegetables half the size of a baby (courgette, butternut squash etc). now i’ve read that the vagina is allegedly more elastic than the anus, but seriously – babies are enormous!

vince: i don’t have a saggy vagina, i do kegels! also, fish taco? all this time i thought you were gay…
saffer: if a woman has sex after childbirth and she’s had an episiotomy, she can die if an air bubble gets in and travels to her bloodstream, or so my doctor said. and no, i didn’t get fat. i went straight back to a size 2.

no, i meant an actual fish taco. they’re surprisingly tasty and nutritious once you look beyond the negative associations. when i serve them at my restaurant, i have to call them something like “goujons of plaice on a bed of romaine lettuce served in a corn tortilla” or else no one would order them.

i’m glad that you have a taut vagina to match your slimline figure. your kid(s) should be proud! i wish they had a gay version of kegels, but alas i fear my sphincter will never be the same again.

vincent, i bring you some good news from wikipedia:
“In men this exercise lifts up the testicles, also strengthening the cremaster muscle as well as the anal sphincter, as the anus is the main area contracted when a Kegel is done. This is because the pubococcygeus muscle begins around the anus and runs up to the urinary sphincter.”

Vinnie, unless said doctor is using a hacksaw, the scar is usually not that big a deal. The extra healing time may keep a lady out of the game for a while, but us breeders can look past the scar come naked time.

I really admire the mothers on here and I’m sorry on Vinny’s behalf that he’s making fun of the process of childbirth. That said, the world probably got as populated as it did because news like this wasn’t been passed on to young women who are yet to be mothers. Thank you for making me aware of a procedure called episiotomy, now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go get my tubes tied.

saffer, anyone who can’t see the funny side of having a midget crawl out of their vagina doesn’t deserve to partake in the wonders of childbirth.

besides, i wasn’t really making fun of it. as an out gay man, i sometimes feel like an outsider looking in on the strange and magical world of heterosexual breeding. i express these insecurities through crude humour, though secretly i envy you all. i actually tried to adopt this really hot filipino twink recently, but there were some paperwork issues with the agency so it didn’t go through. shame, i was really looking forward to him calling me daddy…

so, what i really want to say is this: any of the delightful females on this site want to lend me their womb for 9 months?

vincent i have a serious question, im not trying to be a smartass or start a flame war but why do girls and gay guys do anal stretching? Would that fucking hurt? I let my bf do anal once and i couldnt walk properly for 2 days