Lorne MacLean of the MacLean Family Law Group whose website is at www.bcfamilylaw.ca enjoys providing the public with free legal information and lauds Judge Brownstone and producer Nancy Kinney for their important work in democratizing the law and bringing important information to people who are facing the stormy seas of marriage breakdown with their outstanding legal reality show FAMILY MATTERS TV. MacLean is in high demand as a speaker and author of numerous articles on family and divorce law. Here is MacLean's very popular article on protecting yourself before and during a divorce or marriage breakdown. If you have questions he can be reached at lorne@bcfamilylaw.ca .

If you are considering or are at the start of a marriage breakdown or separation you need to take immediate steps to protect yourself and the first thing you should do is contact a good family attorney and spend 30 minutes or more with them getting a summary of your basic rights and obligations. We feel the initial consultation is likely the most important part of starting a case and likely the best money you can spend early on in a case. People have so many misconceptions and can accept or make unfair offers based on anecdotal opinions from well meaning but often "legally clueless" friends and family members.

At MacLean family Law Group www.bcfamilylaw.ca we as Vancouver divorce and family lawyers have handled a number of spousal and child support retroactive cases including an interim retroactive support award case called J v J . Our client was ecstatic when we obtained one of the highest interim awards of spousal and child support for our client which approached $30,000 per month combined, together with substantial retroactive child support.

We have also represented numerous clients where we have sought to retroactively correct child support upward to reflect increases in the paying spouses incomes as well as to retroactively correct downward support based on a paying spouse’s lower income on the basis that the paying spouses should pay support on the proper income under the guidelines.

If you want to correct spousal or child support retroactively call us at any of our 4 offices province wide or fill out our contact form so we can begin to assist you.

A good summary of the obligations each spouse has in this area can be found at the Justice Canada websiteContinued...

I have been involved with helping clients put together prenups and while I agree that some form of pre marriage agreement is prudent if there are a lot of assets, we have gone overboard. The biggest problem is that prenups simply do not lay the foundation for a partnership. Take for example two people that go into a business together 50/50 and they both contribute in their way to the business but only one of the parties gets to keep all the benefits if they decide to part. I am guessing that very few people would entire that type of business arrangement. That is however the scenario that can be created with a poorly drafted prenup. Prenups are best left out of the lawyers hands until all the issues and scenarios have been discussed at which time they can paper the deal. Be very careful however as you may destroy the partnership before it begins. Marriage is about love, security, trust, commitment and faith and a poor prenup can kill the security, trust and commitment factor pretty easily.

There is a ton of pier pressure around back to school clothing and supplies. Make a list of their “needs” and agree that the children will get one or two of their “wants” met and then allocate a set dollar amount that they are free to spend.

Set Budget in Advance of Shopping

Before you venture into any store with the wondering eyes of your children set a non-negotiable budget. This is not just for their purposes but it is to keep Mom and Dad from caving into those pleading eyes.

Make a detailed list before you hit the stores

We know we should not go grocery shopping when we are hungry and the same rule applies when taking the kids for “back to school” shopping. Way too many temptations for even the strong willed.

Set Budget for extracurricular activities before you sign up

After school activities are an important part of a child’s development and while we want them to be involved, we need to balance activities with our ability to pay. Set a budget per child that covers lessons, equipment etc and then engage in a conversation with them and the other parent about allocation of resources before you sign them up. Kids will also take more ownership of their schedule this way as well.

Empower kids financially

We give children an allowance for “extra” things but consider providing them enough money so that they can learn to budget for the things they need as well. One of the big stresses in divorced families is the loss/damage of things that go back and forth. If starting around age 11, your child is responsible for their clothing budget then they will take ownership and amazingly - things all of a sudden do not seem to go missing.

Finding yourself on the doorsteps of divorce is hard enough emotionally but add the multitude of decisions that are going to have to be made and it can feel completely overwhelming. While there are only two main areas for decision-making; kids and money, coming to resolution can take years and use up a lot of your hard earned wealth. While there is more of a trend towards mediation, many people still feel the need to hire top guns with the perception that their “rights” will be better attended served. In many cases on the pursuit of one’s “rights”, “best deal” or “win”, the cost associated with an unpredictable outcome does not justify the time or the means.

On the continuum of resolving divorce issues, on one end is Litigation and the other end, Mediation. Moving from one spectrum to the other you might find, arbitration, collaborative law, interest based mediation, and other hybrids all worthy of consideration. While there may be the perception that litigation is in fact “taking control” the opposite is usually true. The reality is that retaining a litigation lawyer sets in motion a series of applications, affidavits, court appearances that destroys assets and relationships. Litigation is prudent in some cases where the parties have pursued every other means to resolve their issues with no success. While the outcome with litigation may be “just” in the face of the law, it is often not “fair”. The judge has to use the information put forth by the lawyers and in the affidavits with the assumption that both parties are being truthful. We know this simply is not the case. Take for example, where one party is basically telling the truth and the other is not, the outcome will likely be somewhere in the middle as there is simply not enough time or resources to achieve the real picture. To seek litigation to either prove your point, make the other person pay or to assume the outcome will be a win for you is unfortunately naive.

It is best that you and your spouse make the final decisions about money and kids, regardless of whether you get along or not. Ensuring you are an empowered decision maker with financial and co-parenting knowledge is the best recipe for success. New mediation models like “Independently Negotiated Resolution” are process and results driven and ensure that both parties are well equipped to make decisions. While mediation has been traditionally thought of for only amicable couples, new innovated models can achieve resolution for conflicted families as well. The key is to keep your assets in your pockets and preserve relationships.

Move over, Dr. Phil. Here comes the judge, as in Ontario Court Justice Harvey Brownstone.The Toronto family court judge has added a new jurisdiction to his purview on Tuesday nights at 10:30 p.m. on CHCH TV in Hamilton, Ont., as well as the CHEK network...

DM: Justice Brownstone, from your perspective on the bench, what divorce issues have changed the most over the last 15 years?

JB: There are three things that have changed the most in the past 15 years. They are the Internet, the Internet, and the Internet! Judges have witnessed a complete revolution in both the composition and, unfortunately, the decomposition of relationships because of the Internet. And this has led to an avalanche of failed relationships that the court system must somehow deal with. And when I say avalanche I’m not exaggerating. It’s truly an avalanche. There’s no other way to describe it.

DM: How has the Internet helped create this avalanche?

JB: For starters, the problem today is that the Internet makes it so easy for people to meet and convince themselves that they’re madly, deeply in love. Of course most of them aren’t in love. They’re infatuated, excited, and swept up in the fantasy. They can pretend to be someone they aren’t, and they can just as easily be vulnerable to someone else’s deception...

Lorne MacLean and all of the lawyers at the MacLean Family law Group are pleased to sponsor Family Matters TV as it powerfully leverages television and the internet to allow Judge Brownstone and other experts to share their free advice broadly and efficiently to the public.

As family law and spousal support lawyers with offices in Vancouver, Surrey, Kelowna and Fort St. John British Columbia we know that- how much spousal support should be paid and how long spousal support should be paid- is one of the most emotional issues clients face at the time of divorce and marriage breakdown.

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions:

Will my spousal support always remain the same?

Does the amount of child support I pay or receive affect the spousal support payment?

If our children become financially independent adults, will the spousal support payment still remain the same?

The MacLean Family Law Group believes a better understanding of the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines will help you answer these questions.

The Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines are used as informal but legally persuasive guidelines that assist spouses, lawyers, mediators and judges in determining the amount and duration of spousal support. While the Guidelines are not law per se, a series of cases in the BC and other Canadian Superior Courts from 2005 to 2011 make it clear that the Guidelines must be considered when making a decision on spousal support.