Is this emotional abuse?

Husband was extremely supportive and helpful while we were in the hospital, we get home and he did not take one day off work, he has a day job and is also in a band so pretty much every evening is consumed with either band, phone calls, or him working outside. These first couple weeks have been pretty difficult for me to adjust to, I am home alone all day, and feeling so many different emotions. My husband doesn't really talk to me about my feelings, and has made several comments that have bothered me lately, he mentioned to his friend on the phone that if he could be out on tour with music right now he would be. He also asked me if I would like a personal trainer. I was excited for the premiere of the TV show "this is us" all week. I haven't really had anything going on other than being home with the baby so this was the highlight to my week, and my husband was home and decided to drink an entire humongous bottle of wine and get really annoying, the TV show started and he sat on the couch next to me purposely making all these noises with his mouth and just pestering me. I nicely asked him if he could stop and he did not, then he broke one of our memorabilia wine glasses which caused me to be upset and cry and I missed the entire first half of the episode. I know it sounds stupid but it was a sentimental wine glass from a trip we took a couple years ago and I even asked him to be careful not to break it but when he drinks he is so clumsy and throws things in the sink. The night before last night we also got in an argument because I made a comment on how he should spend his band money, I pretty much pay the bills even though he brings in most of the money, he really is not good at budgeting and I am already nervous about being home from work an entire month without pay, his attitude is ' money is just money we will figure out a way to make things work '. Bc I made that comment he said I am greedy and an ugly person, and he already had an ex-wife like that. I just feel like he's causing me unnecessary stress when he should be my support system. Last night he slept 11 hours, I slept 2.

It sounds like he's immature and needs to grow up, but it doesn't so...

Posted
09/27/2017

It sounds like he's immature and needs to grow up, but it doesn't sound abusive to me. Definitely he sounds inconsiderate and you should talk to him about that.

I agree with this OP
doesn't sound abusive but inconsiderate as annoying.

What I can say is that we are often unaware of how our SO's will react to new baby. It affects everyone differently, and it doesn't mean they are somehow outside of those who react to new babies.

You're dealing with motherhood and sleep depravity, baby is adjusting to life outside the womb, and your SO (significant other) is dealing with becoming a father, protector, provider and this new little life that's changing the entire mode of living. Pretty huge right?

You gotta find a way to discuss what's going on in his head. We all deal differently

I'll start this with my husband's thoughts "He made her miss This is Us?!? What a douchebag!" But on a serious note, he sounds pretty immature. He may not have been ready for the parenting thing and feels like he's being chained down. What he needs is a real reality check. Don't put up with this behavior hun because you haven't done anything wrong.

Hm, this is kind a hard one.
1. He’s in a band so is he like 19 lol
2. Name calling is both emotional and mental abuse. Which some name calling is normal in any relationships because people argue. But it seems like it’s gotten to the point, you are a caretaker not a wife/girlfriend. He wants to be a child and be taken care of - if that’s the case, I would start treating him like a child.

I don’t have the patience for humans like that, so I would cut him out of my life and my child’s. He cares more about some fantasy dream of being on tour and drinking, rather than being a real man and taking care of his family. He’s not a provider.

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