The pie was assembled in a massive stainless steel trough, filled to the brim with canned Hormel chili, canned orange cheese and a mountain of corn chips. The 1,200-pound goal was obliterated by an extra 125 pounds of sodium and cholesterol.

If you can't make it to the fair before those chips get soggy, fret not. Everything you need to make your own version is available at your local 7-Eleven. You can pick up the toiletries you'll need later too.