Today would have been my sister's birthday

Wednesday, July 9, 2014
12:50 PM

Already with back pain and a hitch in my step as my grandmother would've said, I slid along the kitchen floor today wondering the cost of knee surgery - and cursing my kids the entire way for leaving ice on the floor. And they sat in the next room playing a new video game while Mom almost died. And maybe they would find me laying all out in the floor, bone sticking out of flesh and crying sobbing cries - the next time they came to the fridge for more ice. And they're eating faster than I can cook and more than I can afford. And they're kinda naughty at least 5 times a day... but usually all in a contained time frame and sometimes all at once. The rest of the day you can completely be around them. AND... I found out kid 1 spent his week at camp with a hole the size of Texas in the rear of his swim suit. So he just marveled at the coolness of the spring fed pool on his backside and swam in it all joyful and free like. Till the last day when a friend finally loaned him a spare suit. Not all boys are born animals, I guess. And even bigger news is that another of my lovelies claims he hasn't washed his bottom parts in the shower - in about FOREVER - because he didn't know he was supposed to. Proof, again, of how many ways and times I have failed as a mom. Anyway, here's a new picture of each of them.... thinking of loaning one or two out for the summer.... tell me which one you may want. I can come get them from you .... say,....mid August?

So after my near fall today I started pondering .... and then went rug shopping for a fluffy cute one to put in front of my fridge.

The fluffier the better as to soak up water and more quickly melt the killer ice. Prolonging my life and livelihood all at the same time as being adorable in there. But the pondering and thinking....pondering the irony of it all. How I can work such an active and physical job, and all that usually works out just fine.... but then I reach for the soap in the shower and my back goes out. This time it was a home decorating back injury. I think I forgot to tell y'all that part. An ice pack right about now on either achy part of me would be nice. None of it makes sense. Not sure at all if it's even supposed to. And husband was sitting at the desk this morning, reached down for the printer - and the boys said he cried like a girl. Not really, they didn't say that. But I totally imagined it like that after I saw how he was walking. Similar back pain to mine, contagious apparently. So limping along he still insisted on meeting a guy about selling our old car. I warned him that criminals prey on the weak and the guy might hit him over the head and steal our beautiful 14 year old Honda CRV. You might see that story in the news. Husband also says my posts have become quite philosophical..... or philosical as one of our kids called it. Only philosical if you consider talk of daytime TV and slip and fall injuries to be deep thought. But I've been reading a book lately called Startled by God. A little thought filled book of everyday events and stories - the kind I most like to share on here - about how God makes himself known to us in the most unexpected ways. With no plan and no reason, just because he can. And because that's just what he does. And because he kinda' likes us, and wants us to keep him present even in the smallest details of our days. And telling the complete truth.... I'm always looking. Because I need to. But sometimes I see nothing. And sometimes I see unexplainable, surprising, amazing things. I like those times best. But it's the times that I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and joy just being in a moment that I know without a thought and without a doubt that it has to be a God given moment. A God gifted moment. The other day at the pool, ....3 boys, a diving board and an all you can eat OREO afternoon. A God gifted moment. True words of joy spoken to me that required no real words at all. And I know I saw God the night before kid 1 left for camp last week - knowing in advance that all parents would be publicly shunned at the dropoff the next day, I sat completely still on the couch, watching TV with my fellas. As Kid 1 rested his head on my arm. And I tried to memorize every second of it - the feel of being loved by someone that I love more than there are stars in the sky. And right then, on our couch, I saw God. Again. And I continue to watch. And I continue to be caught off guard by the surprise moments of God-like love that just come pouring out of nowhere right into my day. Right when I didn't even know I needed it. But I guess maybe he did.

Today would have been my sister's birthday. And I miss her and I miss, for her, all the opportunities that she never got to have. Making my opportunities even more of a big and beautiful thing. And I'm proud and surprised and altogether amazed at the gifts that I've been given in this life that would have made her so happy to see.So here's to a would be birthday of a summer day at the pool, and very possibly another all you can eat OREO cookie afternoon.