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Author
Topic: AIDS and The Choice for Love (Read 3523 times)

While powerful medications may have extended our lives, how many of us feel that drugs alone can't help us cope with the physical, mental and spiritual toll that comes with living with the virus? Is there something missing?

I came out as a young gay man in Southern California during the early 1980's. It was fun time but by the mid 1980's it soon became a frightening and bleak time as I watched so many of my friends and acquaintances become sick and die because of the virus. Doctors could do little for those infected other than to treat symptoms as best they could. Some of us turned to metaphysics and spirituality as a way to cope. Louise Hay was one of the first to address HIV/AIDS from a metaphysical/spiritual perspective. Her weekly "Hayride" meetings and her book "You Can Heal Your Life" filled with positive affirmations helped many of us and awakened my spirituality. One of Louise Hay's affirmations for those of us living with HIV/AIDS was "I am a Divine, magnificent expression of life. I rejoice in my sexuality. I rejoice in all that I am. I love myself."

During that time I happened to come across a metaphysical book entitled "The Choice for Love" which was channeled information from a wise spiritual being known as Emmanuel who was channeled by Pat Rodegast. Emmanuel had the following to say when asked about AIDS:

Do you see a cure for AIDS in the foreseeable future?

Yes, and it is coming swiftly. So the time is short for you to learn the manifested teaching that AIDS offers. The moment there is a cure for AIDS, if fear has not been reckoned with, you open the way for another fearful something. There is always been a simple cure for fear--the choosing of self-love.

How many who have ultimately died of AIDS have found along the way to begin to love themselves? How valuable a teaching to the soul! Human fear says, "Yes, but they died." Well, they have left their bodies. Some have already come again to teach what they have learned. At the moment of dying, or soon before, they came to the realization that they are worthy of their own love. With such empowerment, they return swiftly. The next ten years will see an influx of wise and loving children. It is a far vaster dance that seems apparent in your world. Remove the lens of human focus and you will see the wonder of it all.

Do not let AIDS drive you into a corner, forgetting the purpose for which it has come. AIDS is fear and it comes in many forms. It is an energy current in your body. It is a false belief from childhood. Before the cure for AIDS is announced, do your homework or you will move onto something else. The learning opportunity is here. Why wait?

Explore everything, examine everything in your lives, but always with the question "Am I choosing love or am I choosing fear?" When you found that you have chosen fear, move not one inch further until you have walked through the fear and found the love beyond. This is your task. Through the wisdom of your soul, it can no longer be avoided. You have given yourself a gift. The only healing is love.

Take yourself tenderly by the hand. Reach your hand to others only as you become secure in your self-loving. Never offer a hand to another in fear. If they are in terror and you feel a resonating fear in yourself, walk away. Your task is to choose love, not to serve the fear in others--an important distinction. Welcome to the graduate course. Your are both professor and student.

How then, can we learn from this disease?

Take a moment to step back and perceive the entire business of AIDS from the vantage point outside it. Whether you have been diagnosed as having AIDS, whether you have just had a child or lover die of it, remain on the fringe of your own terror. Look at the AIDS epidemic as though it were encased in a crystal ball, in a container that allows visibility. What you see is this: an attack upon the body that renders it incapable of self defense. All the elements in your air, your water, your bodies becomes threatening, and you are no longer able to keep them under control.

From outside this framework, what has been in your human experience that you have felt you must defend against? There is no structure required except that you be willing to see, beyond the terror of the fixed focus on AIDS, what its message is specifically is for you.

You have not failed when you become ill. When the body takes an affliction such as AIDS, the human personality becomes an enemy for more destructive than any virus. Because you turn upon yourselves. You close your hearts. You take terror by the hand. Fear, resentment, rage--all of those emotions, even without the virus, will render you helpless.

You have chosen to walk this particular path, and I do not mean the path to your ultimate demise. I mean to WALK ON THE PATH. Look at the scenery of opportunity and do not for one moment abandon your life. Utilize every aspect of living to perceive wherein the greater design of your soul has offered you the gift of choice--love or fear.

If I were to give you anything in God's kingdom, it would be the truth that what exist here and now is surrounded by an eternity of love and Light and what you experience in your humanness is the choice of your soul--not to its destruction but to its liberation.

How to work with someone who is dying?

See them in the light of what you know of who they are and why they have come, and you will ask the appropriate questions to open the door to their memory. But be very aware where you are in fear, you are no longer in truth. And when you are no longer in truth, you have no business being with someone who is dying, because they are expanding into truth, and they need to move in joy.

Death is not a failure.

How can one dance out of life when life is considered the only meaningful possession?

And that is probably what made room for the fatal disease. Well, let us first go back to the Greater Reality. Life is fatal. Therefore, everything that you do, if you want to look at it in the manner, is fatal. Being born is the most fatal thing you can do. When one says, "fatal disease," one is allowing fear to displace reality.

There is nothing more fatal about disease than anything else except the label. Am I being unfeeling? I don't think so. I am naming the dance.

You are taught that you must not dance with death, with poverty, with illness, and you certainly must not dance with pain. You rarely dare to dance with joy. All of these labels keep you locked in the illusion that some things will die and some things will not. When you finally allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it, you will find you dance with everything. Because everything is the same.

How can one dance out of life when one has a fatal disease? Well, one learns to dance in life. Since the entire fabric of your human experience is fatal, you simply dance.

Everything in your life is a process that will bring you from birth to death, from home to Home.

How can I learn to dancewith a terminal illness?The moment that you ask the questionthe orchestra is already tuning up

Your willingness to explore is the dance.Your willingness to seekis the finding.The minute you say,"There is another way to do this,"you have found the other way.

Trust the portion of youfrom where that question came,Honor it above all illusionof living and dying in illness

Never offer a hand to another in fear. If they are in terror and you feel a resonating fear in yourself, walk away. Your task is to choose love, not to serve the fear in others--an important distinction.

Hmm, food for thought. Thanks. I'll read the rest later since it's a bit long

What an interesting and uplifting post. Personally, I cannot believe how many have made every attempt to separate their spirituality from their HIV experience, when in fact, they are so very intertwined. I guess this essay doesn't hit me too hard, as I have always been very supportive, and conscious of my spirit, my continuum, and how that plays with my HIV.

Interesting story.

When I was released from the hospital the second time, to go home to die from the dreaded PCP; I arrived home and my sweetie placed me lovingly into bed and there I was. The next morning, I awoke and noticed that the bed had been surrounded by crystals, and under the pillow was a six inch crystal that I had kept from the day he gave it to me. I don't have a clue as to whether or not the crystals were connected with my recovery, but I am not going to question their affects, due to the fact that within two weeks, I was strong enough to walk myself back into the Doctor's office for my two week follow up. I nearly gave the doctor a heart attack, as the staff had only given my sweetie the two week follow up appointment, to give him hope that I MIGHT survive the two weeks. They were all convinced I would be dead in two days.

Like I said, I don't know if my/ our spirituality helps with this disease, but I do know it has given me a very calm view of my own existence, and I guess that in the end, that is all that matters.

I agree, CHOOSE LOVE.

In Love, and Appreciation for good people.

Logged

The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,and 362 to heterosexuals.This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals, It's just that they need more supervision.Lynn Lavne

Moffie, It was heartening to read your post and your story of recovery. I agree with you regarding the intertwined relationship between HIV and spirituality. It is that way for me. The more I open up to family, friends, meditation, creativity and, most important, give of myself in every way conceivable to others with HIV, the more love-filled my life is and the incredible circumstances, (translate: serendipity, coincidence, synchronicity, pick one, etc.) could fill a journal to overflowing. Having just finished my first leg of training in Feng Shui, with the express hope of giving it to those of us without means, but with interest, I am more aware than ever of the power of intention, use of energy and possibility for miracles. Now, that I've allowed your post to inspire me, I'm going to get crackin' on my Saturday To Do List!!! Time's a wastin'---I've got greater goals to get to than laundry, to be sure.Em

Thank you Emmanuel!! Thank you for your kind words and the beauty that surrounds each words of inspiration, hope and understanding. In your words that you channeled you spoke to my soul and it was embraced by your light. I find it incredibly uplifting reading your thoughts on our life and it brought me to a better place in my existence on this plane of life. It truly is not how you die, but how you live! I will embrace your thoughts and dance until my soul returns home once again. No truer words have been given to our lives and to our death. For me, death is not an ending, it is a beginning to the circle of life that brings us all back to love. This i have felt my entire life. I acknowledge you Emmanuel and thank you for your insightful thoughts. It has given me yet another perspective on why we have been brought to this place in our lives and what we do with our lives is so important. For myself, I hope to leave this stage of my existence by leaving as much love behind as i can. I hope that we all may find that peace within our own souls and embrace the light that we all carry within. Thank you once again Emmanuel and may the blessing of life and love return home once again. Keep dancing!!!! =)

Fear tells you, "I want to make you safe." Love says, "You are safe." Fear would walk you on a narrow path. Love says, "Open your arms and fly with me."

- Emmanuel

In 1985, Louise Hay began her famous support group, "The Hayride," with six men diagnosed with AIDS in West Hollywood. By 1988, the group had grown to a weekly gathering of 800 people and had moved to an auditorium in Santa Monica, CA. It was during this time that she wrote "The AIDS Book: Creating a Positive Approach", based on her experiences with this powerful group. Lousie Hay has a web page:

There are many paths and many ways to approach life. It's all good. DingoBoi, you appear to have been blessed to have found your own approach to life. Like you said "wherever one draws strength from is a good thing." Twenty five years ago there were no HIV medications and it was a fearful time. My friends were all dying from the virus and I feared that I too would die. Spiritual teachers like Emmanuel and Louise Hay provided clueless people like me with the tools and the hope to continue living during a very difficult time. Most of my friends have long since passed on from the complications of AIDS and I'm posting here today on this forum thanks to the grace of God. Thank you DingoBoi for your honest opinion and keeping us grounded. I wish you the best on your journey through your life.

"Spiritual teachers like Emmanuel and Louise Hay provided clueless people like me with the tools and the hope to continue living during a very difficult time"......BlbdudeActually Louise Hay and all those so called new age gurus proved to be totally incompetent in the face of AIDS. I was there too...Blbdude.I played the Louise Hay tapes and all that. I envisioned my body fighting the HIV virus...only trouble was.....those who did believe it would "cure" them, died. My partner at the time consulted a Homeopathic doctor and was treated with some crap that did absolutely NOTHING for him. He developed pneumosistic pneumonia and was hospitalized. He rallied but only for a few years. All the Louise Hay tapes in the world couldnt save him.

Iím sorry for your loss Poz Bear. Itís painful for those of us left behind isnít it? Poz Bear, why is it that you and I are still alive to post on this forum when so many others from the early years of the epidemic have long since passed on? What can be learned from your partnerís passing? One thing we can agree on is that those who have passed on from this virus are not failures. Maybe we all sign contracts before we get here on this earth and once we complete our mission on this earth we then move on? Perhaps those that have passed like your partner are just faster learners than us? Spiritual teachers like Emmanuel and Louise Hay have taught me that this life is not all there is. Continue the good fight Poz Bear and I wish you all the best!

I've been poz for a while now and it's been a challenge. I just found this forum and I've checked out some the other posts. Some of the posts are really sad and depressing. While I never heard of Emmanuel or Louise Hay, at least blbldude's post wasn't depressing.

There are SO many people who have it A LOT worse than me. So, like the song says, "when i'm weary, and i can't sleep, i count my blessings, instead of sheep."

One day at a time has ALWAYS worked for me! Even in the deepest and most painful times in my life, i always chose to look at the plus instead of the minus. The good instead of the bad - and full in the knowlege that it was up to me to decide how to deal with what life has thrown at me!