Cape groups remember homeless

Robert "Bach" Charon was a man who looked like a college football player. He was also well-read and could talk about anything, according to his family, and scored higher than his Ivy League-bound brother on IQ tests.

Comment

By JASON COOK

capecodtimes.com

By JASON COOK

Posted Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:00 AM
Updated Dec 22, 2012 at 6:19 AM

By JASON COOK

Posted Dec. 22, 2012 at 2:00 AM
Updated Dec 22, 2012 at 6:19 AM

» Social News

HYANNIS — Robert "Bach" Charon was a man who looked like a college football player. He was also well-read and could talk about anything, according to his family, and scored higher than his Ivy League-bound brother on IQ tests.

Born in Connecticut and a graduate of Central Connecticut State University, he wrestled and played football.

He also spent a portion of his life homeless.

Later in life, he got back on his feet and gave his time to the organizations that helped him, serving on the board of directors for the Duffy Health Center.

Charon, 61, of Orleans, died this year, one of 17 homeless and recently homeless people who lost their lives on Cape Cod in 2012. The 17 were memorialized in a service at the Federated Church of Hyannis on Friday night — the longest night of the year — with friends, family, homelessness advocates and many others. Two died in the past week, according to event organizers.

Prior to the memorial, Charon's family swapped stories about him and his life.

"You couldn't judge him by his looks," said his son, Ben Charon, 30, of New York. "He was a big, dumb, jock-looking kind of guy," but well-read and very artistic.

"All of my friends loved him. He was just a big kid." He summed up his father's parenting style, remembering something he told him: "'I don't care if you get A's, B's, F's, as long as you can say you tried your best.'"

After a divorce, Ben and his brother, Nate Charon, 32, of Sharon, began to split time with their father and mother. But once the boys were old enough to go to college, things changed.

"It was hard to keep in touch," Ben Charon said. "Sometimes we didn't know how to reach him."

Robert Charon bought the business he was working for, and when it went under, things turned for the worse, said his sister Patricia Charon, 53, of Manchester.

A "series of unfortunate events" built one on top of another, said Ben Charon, and a hip injury disabled the man who relied on his physicality to work.

"When that went, so did he," said Louise Patrick, director of behavioral health services at Duffy Health Center, who worked alongside Robert Charon.

"Parkinson's took both our parents," said Patricia Charon. "It's not an easy thing to watch," she said regarding her brother seeing his parents erode.

Bach turned to alcohol to deal with his troubles, Patricia Charon said, and he became dependent. A breakthrough came when he recognized his problem, dealt with it and began tackling other problems in his life, she added.

"He was in a better place than I had seen him in a long time," said sister Kathy Charon, 56, of East Hartford, Conn., who was overcome recalling Robert Charon's state at the end of June of this year.

But years of physical labor, a battle with alcoholism and stretches of homelessness took their toll on him, and he died Aug. 6.

The memorial service, which happens annually in 150 cities nationwide, was important to Robert Charon, who spoke at the event two years ago.

"It means a lot to him. It meant a lot to him," Patricia Charon said.

Kathy Charon offered a few words about her brother, calling him a gentle giant and someone who was proud of his sons — both of whom flanked her as she spoke.

The names of all the homeless people who died this year were read, with words of remembrance given.

"These are not distant or fictional people," said Dan McCullough, philosophy professor at Cape Cod Community College and Cape Cod Times columnist. "They were real human beings."

The lights of the church dimmed and glow sticks that were handed out lit up the pews. "For every problem in this world, there is a solution," said Deacon Richard Murphy of the St. Francis Xavier Church in Hyannis.

"There is no one in this room that does not want to be loved. Love one another. That's how we solve these things," he said.

As Kathy Charon fought back tears speaking about her late brother, the cries of his infant granddaughter, Zoe, daughter of Nate and Kate Charon, echoed throughout the church.