Thayer: That it? Tony: That's it? Ben: [points to purse on desk] That's it. Tony: Have you looked inside? Ben: No. Thayer: Do you have an ethical problem with rifling through a woman's purse? Ben: Uhh, yeah, I guess I do. Tony: Well, it's hardly a purse, dude, it's more like a... clutch or something. Ben: Guys, a woman's purse, alright, it's her secret source of power. Alright? There are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about.

Ben: [to himself, on his balcony, waving goodbye to Andy before she gets in her cab] You're already falling in love with me. Andie: I'm gonna make you wish you were dead. [blows away a kiss to Ben up on his balcony] Andie: Poor guy.

Thayer: Is she on something? Ben: God I hope so. [Moves his finger in circles next to his head, to indicate that he thinks Andie is crazy] Andie: Are you saying I'm some kind of mental person? [Andie is holding a platter of veggies and flings them at the guys and the middle of the poker table, then tosses the platter onto the table]

Ben: That's what I'm talking about. Where's the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? The one that wanted to be a serious journalist? You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a frickin' one woman circus.

Ben: So that's what I was, huh? I was a guinea pig. Somebody you can test your theories on? Andie: Yeah, and I was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar. Ben: Yeah, you know what? Big deal. Hell, now you can even use it as a little twist in your story. Andie: That's a good idea. Maybe we should bet on it. Ben: You know what, you did your job now, Andie. Andie: Yes, I did. Ben: You wanted to lose a guy in ten days, congratulations, you did it. You just lost him. [walks away] Andie: No I didn't Ben, 'cause you can't lose something you never had!

Andie: Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columbia, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want. Ben: Like, shoes?

[Ben is trying to find words to be used as metaphors for diamonds] Ben: How about 'Glitter'? Tony: Thayer's favorite movie. Thayer: It was underrated!

Andie: [crying at restaurant after waitress asks if everything is okay] My boyfriend thinks I'm fat! [flicks food at Ben] Andie: And I can't eat in front of him! I can't eat in front of you! I have to go to the bathroom. Ben: [receives dirty looks from other customers] Honey, I don't think you're fat! I don't think she's fat!

Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my... Michelle Rubin: Penis? Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!

Michelle Rubin: So, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other? Andie: Seven days. Michelle Rubin: Seven days. Interesting. Ben: Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist? Andie: Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime, or anything... Ben: It's like a week.

Andie: Does Krull the Warrior King want to come out and play? Ben: No. Andie: Krull... Ben: You know what, due to intense humiliation, the king has momentarily abdicated his throne, okay? Andie: Oh. Uh-oh! Ben: Yeah. Andie: Well, in that case, I better get going. Take care of our love fern, honey.

Andie: I want you to respect me. Ben: I do. And, I want your respect. Andie: I respect you for respecting me. Ben: I respect that.

Ben: [introducing Andie to his family] And this is Joey Jr. Glenda: [to Jack, playing BS] Bullshit! Ben: Now the whole family suffers from tourette's, I hope that's not a problem.