Oh it's no go yer Eistefodd It's no go, Blavatsky All we want is Chongo Chimp Carried off in a taxi It's no go the Fifty Kay It's no go for Shatner Work at a job from nine to three And come home to Judge Wapner.

Poor Rapparee! There is a standoff over at the Legion Hovel and I'm afraid Rap is in the thick of it. There are squad cars about three deep around the place, and they've cut the power and the water. But I can still hear the singing (bellowing) from my place. I don't know the whole story, but apparently they decided to hold an Eisteddfod, and until they run out of voice power, we won't be seeing any posts from Rapparee.

You-all are talking puredee nonsensical flibbertyjibbet talk, now. The iMac is the high plateau of the art of the home computer--a Unix core with a fast but lovely graphic interface. Just for example, when I wanted to turn off the function of the CapsLock key, because I hate it when I keep hitting it, it took < 30 seconds. It set itself up and brought on board years of past work files and parameters and settings and did it all in a couple of hours. It would have take twice as long trying to do the same in a 586 Wintel environment, I suspect.

It has more computing power than I will ever need unless I suddenly become a graphic artist, which is not likely to happen, or a movie director.

By the way, the front of my house looks really nice. Now on to the backyard!

The people who do that sort of thing are coming tomorrow to aerate the whole lawn. Right now there are 50 hot-pink flags all over the place indicating where sprinkler heads are. It looks like a marked minefield and I got soaked putting them in place. So far no golfers have confused the yard with a putting green or something, even though golfers ARE easily confused.

I got no intention of incurrin' her wrath. I try to avoid havin' confrontations with women cos I feel that it ain't right to shoot a woman or knock her teeth out over a difference of opinion...so that leaves me in a sorta weak position when it comes to havin' disputes with "the fair sex". I usually just mumble somethin' that sounds like I might be agreein' with them, say "What's that I hear outside?", and make a quick exit.

You should damned well be! Her daddy taught her to shoot a .45 revolver and she can shoot the gonads off a flea at 200 meters with it -- and a female flea at that -- without damaging the flea none. Her momma used ta nurse her to sleep while she cleared the land near Washington, DC that they homesteaded. Her daddy was in WW2 and stopped, single-handed and without any help, German Panzer units from overrunning Strasbourg during the Battle of the Bulge. She's also got a JD and ain't afraid to use it. You should tremble like an aspen leaf if you ever so much as think about thinking about thinking about incurring her wrath!

I was impressed too. There ain't too many in this world can outdo Chongo Chimp when it comes to rantin' and boastin' and blusterin'...but Rapparee...well, I think the man might have an edge on me there. And I am not too proud to admit it.

I can't figger how he has stayed married so long. Maybe his wife is deaf? Or maybe she just don't care.

Hi, chimps and chimpettes! Ol' Rapparee posted somethin' on another thread that was so good I gotta share with all of you. He was havin' an argument with me and he said this:

"Dear Mr. Chongo,

I can out-shoot you with any weapon you care to name, from a sling to an 81mm mortar. Name your place and time: any weapon, any range out to a kilometer and a half (1,500 meters), any caliber. This challenge includes grenades (hand, rifle, or weapon-launched), flamethrowers, rifles, shotguns, muskets, submachine guns (i.e., machine pistols) of any country, pistols, crew-served weapons (e.g., mortars or quad fifties) and so forth. It also includes spears, bayonets, knives, clubs, maces, morning stars, swords of all types, la savate, and braggin' about fightin' (which you are quite good at).

You should be aware that I am a quiet, unexciting sort of guy unless I get riled up. THEN the mountains tremble at my name! The waters part in fear and thunderstorms run and hide! Volcanoes and earthquakes bow to me as their master. I'm then meaner than a buckskin dun with a burr under his saddle, an alligator with the toothache and a Tasmanian Devil with his fight up all rolled into one! I've gouged out more eyes, bit off more ears, and spit out more noses than any other ten men. My Father was the hurricane and my mother was the plague and I'm cousin to TNT, C4, dynamite, and gunpowder! When I'm riled up I'm as techy as nitroglycerin and I'm the bringer of Chaos!

Please don't get me riled up, because then I'm not responsible for my actions."

*****

Damn good, eh? I am now tryin' to convince him to be one of my speechwriters for the 2012 campaign, the "bluff, rant, and bluster" section...

M is for the murky fumes she sends out O is for the osteosis on her mind; T is for transgender tribulations, H is for the harms she leaves behind. E is for the erstwhile help she offered R is for the Ramen she fed We. Put them all together they spell M-O-T-H-E-R, Which is half of what Mom inspires in me!

He's only gonna have one enlistment period, and that's over in July. Kid's probably gonna get married and then head for the U of IL to get a degree or three in Electrical Engineering. By the way, his fiancee's in the Army Reserve -- and outranks him.

And it wasn't that long ago I was carrying him home from the cemetery... Gee, time goes fast when you're having fun.

I've ***HAD**** cookies with those ingredients. Any of the spice could be added to chocolate chip cookies and go well. so could zuchinni I've had chocolate zuchinni cake and chocolate chip zuchinni cookies before.

I'm expecting the return of my nephew any day now, probably in July. He'll get out of the Marine Corps Disciplinary Barracks at Camp Pendleton then, unless he beats up another guard. I'm lucky to have such ugly and stupid relatives. Actually, I'm lucky to have any relatives at all.

(1) A wayfarer, esp. an itinerant merchant or trader. Chiefly in pl., in Court of Piepowders n. (also in sing.) a summary court formerly held at fairs and markets to administer justice among itinerant dealers and others temporarily resident. (2) 2. = Court of Piepowders n. at sense 1. Also in pl. with sing. concord. Also attrib. in piepowder justice.

Used in a sentence in 1712 by J. Arbuthnot:

"Dost think, that John Bull will be tried by Piepowders?"

1. Pause and reflect that you have just read the words chosen by a being living in the eighteenth century, who naturally used "dost", for example, and breathed the same air you do.

Have you tried the trick of running things through a garlic press (or a Foley Food Mill if you have a lot) to disguise what they are? My son was picky about onions so in things like guacamole I'd run both garlic and onions through the press, giving the flavor but making onion invisible.

Not broadcasting when, but undergoing mental countdown until #2 child is back here for the summer. Will retrieve him soon. I'm such a lucky mom, to have such beautiful smart children . . . and that's not bragging!

Aliens or evangelists.... that's a tough choice. Get probed or fucked up the ass?

I'd go with the aliens on acconta they don't ask fer yer donations. Heck, the aliens probly got free beer and you KNOW the evangelists ain't got none. Well, they probly have beer but they ain't gonna let you have any to ease the pain.

And it's all even numbers! That makes it very magical indeed. This is, for all of us, a truly touching moment. Let you all rejoice and be glad that I have achieved this. Send presents. EXPENSIVE presents.

(Obama) As commander and chief, In the County of the Land of UZ, I inform you most regally… (Holder) But we've got to verify it legally, to see (Panetta) To see? (Holder )If he (Panetta )Is photo'd and buried at sea? (Admiral Mullen) Is morally, ethically, (NBC) Spiritually, physically (ABC) Positively, absolutely (CBS) Undeniably and reliably Dead

(DNA expert) As Coroner I must concur, I thoroughly examined this monstrous cur. His mitochondrial DNA cross referenced with his sister shows... That he's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.

(Obama) Then this is a day of Independence For all good Americans and their descendants (Holder) If any. (Obama) Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked bin Laden at last is dead! (FOX NEWS) We'd really like a picture instead.

See, that Rapp, man--he's nuanced. He insults his own mother in foreign languages and does it so subtly she says thank you, and gives him a doughnut!! He is such an artist, he's a hazard to civilized society.