BE Yourself ....This is Part of Me

Bare Essensuals was the name of my skincare salon. My slogan was BE Sensual, BE Down to Earth, BE Yourself.
Since this is a personal blog I'm starting to evolve this a bit. However, I still love the Bare Essensuals in life - love, laughter, friendship and good clean fun!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Crying Out

Today I sit and look out at the beautiful sunshine and contemplate so much about my life. The last two days I've had nothing but time to do that, due to a little bump in my road of life.

The thing that I have focused a lot on is my family and my friends. And in my world my friends are my family, since most of my real family is not close enough for me to be with. The thing I realised is that I have felt very isolated for a long time. Weird, to be surrounded by people, yet be unsure where to turn.

Our pastor had a sermon this past weekend that really made me think about that. When you are feeling lonely you tend to isolate yourself and then the more you do it, the more you want to, until you are a prickly bush (or some kind of analogy like that). I do this. I am generally an outgoing person, but truly I could stay at home and hide behind my computer forever. I like home. However, I do force myself to contact my friends and go out, because I know I will have fun when I'm with them and I always do. Because I crave personal contact and really find myself energised after a night with good friends. My problem is that I feel like I'm always the one pursuing that and then I get cranky and think that if my friends are my friends then wouldn't they contact me if they wanted to spend time with me? Then I go around in circles.

But I do have friends who I know aren't the type to set things up, but are happy to go along if someone does. I understand that and it doesn't bother me (I'm speaking to a specific person here, who I don't want to think this is about her, because it's not). Because I am a setter upper (ha, good word) I'm happy to do that for friends who appreciate it. Over the last few years though, I found there were relationships where I was always the one doing that and the others didn't really care one way or the other. Why would I keep pursuing that?

Anyway, my little bump in the road has only brought further clarity. If you have friends (and family) that you love, won't you show them today? Because sometimes that's all you have. And if you truly love them show them by being the one to reach out and see if they want to go for coffee or a drink or a walk or whatever. If they have always been the one to take the lead and set things up, why don't you try it for a change? By that same token if you are the one always doing it and you have friends around you that don't bring you blessings and/or are constantly negative or bringing you down, maybe you should reevaluate. I'm not saying to cut people out of your life because they are going through a rough patch, but usually rough patches don't last for years on end. If you find they are only with you for what they can get out of you, or because you are the only one left who will listen to their problems or negativity, then maybe think and pray about that.

When times are bad people gather around and that's a very good thing. Just make sure you don't disappear when times are good, that you remember that just because everything is awesome right now that you should take that for granted. I've seen that lately, too. And, you know what? I get it. We all have busy lives and it's easy to think someone will be here forever and you can always hang out with them next week. Someone is always more fun and/or easier to be around, maybe someone else builds you up more or blows only sunshine around - it is harder to have that one friend who tells it like it is. For sure it is easier to have only the people that say you're awesome around. But really? How many people is that anyway? We are only as awesome as those around us. Who do you surround yourself with?

And lest anyone be looking for hidden meaning in this post. There is none. I've done my share of all of the things I'm trying to tell you (whoever the you are that read this post) not to do. But I plan on showing my friends how very much they mean to me. I try to do this regularly, but if I haven't lately then know it will happen soon.

God is great and he can do so very many things. But only you can show people that you love them, they can only know if you tell them. If you have an opportunity to go and laugh with your friends, then do it. Unlike your family they weren't pre-programmed to love you and you can hurt them enough to make them wonder if it's worth it.

About Me

I'm a Mom to three, a writer,a book reviewer, a soaper (someone who makes soap and body products), a wife, a friend, a woman. I care deeply, I hurt deeply, I am loyal and someday I'm "gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane".