Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #210
November 22nd, 1999
The Opening Word:
It turns out the "parody" WCW faithful were speaking of last week, in
defending the Nitro Jim Ross imitation, was a segment the WWF did in March
of this year, on an installment of Sunday Night Heat. Tiger Ali Singh came
out and paid a "fan" (Ed Ferrara) to imitate Ross. Ross and Steve Williams
then came out and kicked the "fan's" ass. I noted last week that the Ross
imitation seemed familiar. The reason I couldn't place it was because it
took place on Heat, not RAW (though RAW did show a brief clip of it the
following night). Therefore I concede that the WWF did indeed do a Ross
parody first, though I honestly can't recall whether Ross' Bells Palsy
symptoms were a part of the imitation at that time or not.
Hey, if the WWF did the imitation first, doesn't that mean WCW is blatantly
copying a WWF angle? (I'm sure WCW fans are now blowing the whistle,
throwing a yellow flag and waving the Russo/Ferrara handbook in the air.)
I'm not going to bother with this thing anymore. It's not as if I can
convince WCW (and its defenders) that they're in the wrong here. I just hope
a lot of you out there are sick to death of WCW calling you names, like
"mark" and "clueless", and them belittling your right to be offended by
something. God knows they'll come out and shame you into being offended by
something the WWF does, but find some offense with something WCW does and
they'll fall all over themselves telling you just how wrong and stupid you
are.
The Mayhem PPV is receiving generally positive reviews. The more I hear and
read about it, the more I'm convinced that it was really on par with
Survivor Series last weekend, but that people found it to have a much more
satisfying finish. It just goes to show that there may really be something
to this "sports entertainment" thing the WWF fans have been raving about for
the past couple years. Good booking, angles, storylines and characters can
make a bad show okay, an okay show good, and a good show great. Mayhem
sounds like it was an okay show made better by a hot crowd and a main event
which delivered the right finish. Certainly having Bret Hart win the World
Title, in a match against Chris Benoit, in front of a Canadian crowd, is
going to be a memorable and emotional experience. You'd have to work hard to
screw it up (which it sure seems Russo & Ferrara tried, by having run-ins
done by Dean Malenko, the Outsiders and Goldberg). Try as they might, they
got it right (if you ask me). Now, let's see if they can build the company
around Hart as the champ.
Not having seen the PPV, I don't have much to say about it, just a few
random observations/rhetorical questions based on the booking:
Is anyone else bothered by the fact that Scott Hall has picked up two titles
in the last few weeks without earning them?
Of all the great cruiserweights in WCW, would YOU have picked Evan Karagias
to get pushed over them all to the title?
Even granting that Ed Ferrara's "Oklahoma" character is funny, how much
mileage do they expect to get out of the joke?
Where's this David Flair thing going? Is Ric Flair going to have to come
back and fight others to keep his kid from being killed?
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WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours+.
Location: Auburn Hills, Michigan.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- Jeff Jarrett enters the building and announces, to no one in particular,
that he's the "Chosen One", and that he's taking matters into his own
hands. Who the hell's he talking to? And why is his shirt off? Does he
drive around like that too?
- Bret Hart makes his way to the ring. He tells the fans that he's going to
be the best WCW Champion ever. He dedicates his win to Stu (drawing
boos?). Hart offers a World Title match to Goldberg ... at Starrcade
(drawing more boos--they wanted it tonight). Cue the Wolfpac music, and
out comes Hall & Nash. Hall badmouths Hart. Nash throws in a few quips as
well. Nash challenges Hart and Goldberg to a tag team match.
Jeff Jarrett then slides in and bashes a guitar over Hart's head.
"Slapnuts" may be over with the Internet crowd, but its utterance here
(uncensored) draws no reaction from the live crowd. Jarrett swipes
Hart's title belt.
- Mike Tenay interviews Curt Hennig. Hennig says he'll never wrestle in WCW
again. He'll say goodbye to his fans tonight. We then get a look at the
Maestro tinkering at a piano, a couple Filthy Animals, "Oklahoma" and
Steve Williams walking, and maybe five or ten more guys when I blinked.
"Crash TV" runs amok!
- Tony Marinara and a couple armbreakers (one of them Vito "The Skull" from
ECW) do the worst "Goodfellas" imitation ever.
Lex Luger tries to talk Power That Be #1 into letting him book a match
between Elizabeth and Meng. Luger has some kind of contractual control
over her. PTB #1 says okay. Cut over to Liz in another room, watching
this on a monitor.
- THE FILTHY ANIMALS vs. CREATIVE CONTROL
Schiavone says he doesn't know which one is "Patrick" and which one is
"Gerald", and that he's heard neither one wants to be "Patrick". Heh.
Total squash, which becomes even more one-sided when Kidman sees "Kid
Kam" footage (on the big screen) of Torrie Wilson flirting with Eddie
Guerrero. New World Tag Team Champions. Kidman runs backstage, directly
to the room those two are in, and attacks Guerrero. Officials pull the
two apart.
Urrk--my neck! We cut to Bret Hart and Goldberg talking with Tenay. I'm
getting whiplash from all this jumping around.
- Skye tries to talk Spice out of fighting ... that other Nitro Girl ...
tonight. I only got "Spice" and "Skye" out of this because they were kind
enough to mention each others' names.
Hennig and Buff Bagwell share a tender moment. Somewhere else we can hear
the Maestro playing the piano.
- Norman Smiley is out to brag about being the Hardcore Champion. As proof
of his toughness he offers up the fact that he drank milk "two days past
its expiration!" Fit Finlay then runs out and beats the hell out of
Smiley. They drag this out long enough to get Finlay some heat. Nice to
see Finlay back up and walking around (I mean that, really). As if this
segment couldn't get any flatter, Schiavone plugs WCW's cologne. I smell
something alright ...
Luger tells Liz that she'll learn a lesson tonight.
Tenay gets comments from Hall & Nash.
- Chavo Guerrero sells the Mafia thugs some gold chains. The Maestro is
still playing ... somewhere. Is that Disco Inferno back there?
Tenay gets comments from Jarrett.
- EVAN KARAGIAS (w/ Madusa) vs. SATURN (w/ Asya)
Squash (Rings of Saturn). Madusa and Asya tease a catfight. Brad
Armstrong comes out with his new gimmick: a 60's brain-fried hippie named
"Buzzkill". He's on-screen for all of four seconds, if that.
Kidman ... Torrie Wilson ... Mike Tenay ... The Maestro ... Vampiro & The
Misfits ... "Oklahoma" ... Steve Williams ... they show us these people
any faster and we'll only be picking them up on the subliminal level!
- Eddie Guerrero accepts Kidman's challenge. More Maestro music.
- VAMPIRO (w/ the Misfits) vs. THE WALL (w/ Berlyn)
"Oklahoma" and Williams come out to ruin another match. You heard what he
said last week? He says it all again this week. Berlyn hits Vampiro with
a chair, getting the Wall DQ'ed. Wall and Berlyn tease a breakup.
Williams then beats up all the Misfits, but Vampiro dumps him out of the
ring. "Oklahoma" holds him back from going for seconds.
Jeff Jarrett (w/ World Title belt). Creative Control. Bret Hart walks by
a shark cage with an OPEN door. Cut to Liz running over to the shark cage
and opening the CLOSED door. Think about that for a moment.
HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- There's a mysterious black limousine. Who else could be in it but--hey,
RAW's starting.
- BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. JEFF JARRETT (w/ Creative Control)
Things are pretty even in this, the only long match of the show, when
Dustin Rhodes comes in and whacks Jarrett with the title belt. Hart, of
course, misses it, and covers the unconscious Jarrett for the pin.
The Maestro plays "New York, New York" for the mob. His girlfriend there
is the former "Ryan Shamrock", for those who care.
Luger tries to patch things up with Liz to get her out of the cage. He
says he'll get the PTB to call off the match with Meng. She forgives him
and hands him the key. Lex then turns evil again, and says if she doesn't
get out of the cage, he'll have the whole cage taken into the ring. Say,
Lex, YOU have the key! Are they deliberately writing him to be this dumb,
or is it just dumb writing? The idea that Liz was outsmarted by LEX LUGER
certainly lowers her in my estimation.
Of course it's DeGeneration X in the limo. In a few seconds Vince McMahon
is going to smash into them.
- Liz tries to talk Sting into letting her out of the cage.
- KIDMAN (w/ Torrie) vs. EDDIE GUERRERO (w/ Konnan)
Schiavone tells us that Arn Anderson is going to be okay but that he was
fired by the PTB because they didn't even know he was still with the
company. Should I assume, then, that when we do see Arn again, it will be
as part of the anti-PTB storyline, and not out to get revenge on David
Flair for cracking his ribs?
Kidman takes a shot to the jewels, so Eddie asks to stop the match. He
then changes his mind and continues the beating. Unbeknownst to anyone in
the ring, Shane Douglas and Saturn come out and destroy Konnan. Torrie
sees this and tries to tell her boys, but they end up finishing the
match, which Eddie wins with the frog Splash.
PTB #1 summons "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Jeff Jarrett complains. Creative
Control head out to check out the limo.
There's Meng.
Luger has a forklift to carry the shark cage to the ring.
- Duggan gets the message that he's wanted.
Nitro Girls Spice, Skye and Mike Tenay repeat their encounter from
earlier.
- MENG vs. LIZ
Meng plays monster and rips open the cage. Luger offers him the key, but
Meng gives him the Tongan Death Grip. Sting then comes out to save Liz,
which makes no sense because he refused to help her just minutes earlier.
Goldberg will be facing the Outsiders later tonight. It was originally
supposed to be he and Hart, but Hart ended up facing Jarrett. Now
Goldberg has a "mystery partner", who isn't too much of a mystery if you
stop and think about it. (Hint: who haven't we seen yet tonight?)
Limo.
A look at Hall & Nash.
- Duggan, on his way to see the PTB, spots the piano and sits in for some
chopsticks with the Maestro. You know that "vaudeville" line Ferrara took
offense over, and keeps saying in his Jim Ross impersonation? THIS is
exactly the "vaudeville" Jim Ross was talking about. See, Ed's pissed
because this is what he writes, and he didn't like Ross dissing it. Puts
"Oklahoma" in a little more perspective, doesn't it?
- LASH LEROUX vs. DISCO INFERNO
Tony Marinara and his goons come out, and with Disco now distracted,
LeRoux gets the quick win. They dump LeRoux out and prepare to put Disco
in a body bag. LeRoux comes back in with a chair and chases them off.
Disco joins in stuffing Marinara in the bag, until he realizes that this
probably just shortened his own lifespan. Disco better not start his car
himself anymore.
Creative Control are checking out the limo.
- The two get hassled for setting the limo's car alarm off.
Turns out the PTB saw what Duggan did last week, so he makes him clean
the toilet with a toothbrush. A week's worth of prune consumption on the
PTB's part have made the job even more messy.
- SPICE vs. TYGRESS
This may have been the worst women's "wrestling match" I've ever seen,
and that's including all the ones with Mae Young. The two are wearing
sexy-but-not-too-revealing outfits. They take turns pulling the other's
hair--once--very softly. A takeover using the hair is the only "wrestling
move" done in the match. Spice then gets raked in the eyes and the match
is over. Skye comes in to check on Spice. She then LIGHTLY TAPS her in
the head with her purse. Stuff spills everywhere. Spice collapses. Skye
and Tygress then put makeup on the face of the unconscious, yet smiling,
Spice. This was just plain awful.
Meng does his best Phil Hartman's Frankenstein imitation.
Spice is just being helped out as Curt Hennig comes to the ring. He tries
to say goodbye to the fans but can't.
The limo door is opening ...
HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- Duggan cleans the toilet alright, but uses the PTB's personal toothbrush
instead. It's hard to ignore that the supposedly filthy toilet is, in
fact, spotlessly clean.
- Cue ... bagpipes? Good God NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It's "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. After sucking up to the locals Piper starts
shooting on the Powers That Be. So they kill his mic. To the back he
goes, where he has a laugh over what a goofy looking rat Vince Russo
really is (think of a skinny Mick Foley with glasses). Piper says he
worked for thirty years to make this sport what it is. The PTB tells him
to go join Hogan and Flair in the retirement home. Piper reminds him that
he has two years left on his Turner contract, and that if the PTB stop
him from appearing in WCW, he'll sue. Ah, but the PTB turn the tables by
throwing Piper a referee shirt, telling him that if he refuses to fill
that position, it's Piper who'll get sued. Outsmarted, Piper staggers out
of the office, muttering "yes sir ... yes sir."
- Piper piles into his limo and leaves. Wait, isn't he still Commissioner
of WCW?
I see Goldberg.
- BOOKER T. vs. BUFF BAGWELL
Creative Control interfere early in this one. Curt Hennig is then out to
stop them, but shocks everyone by nailing Bagwell, giving him the
Hennig-Plex as one of creative Control cover for the pin. Wow. They
swerved EVERYONE with this one. The lights go out, Midnight, you know the
drill.
More Outsiders.
- Hennig is congratulated by the PTB. Juventud Guerrera is then summoned.
Tenay interviews Sting. Liz tries to thank him, but he says he isn't
buying it. SO WHY'D HE SAVE HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I'm tired of hearing
that damn piano, by the way.
- MADUSA (w/ Evan Karagias) vs. ASYA (w/ Saturn)
Oh, who cares. Asya via submission.
Tenay interviews Dean Malenko re: "Flag Match" vs. Chris Benoit.
Malenko's going to burn Benoit's flag.
- DEAN MALENKO vs. CHRIS BENOIT
Each man has their own flag (USA and Canadian) and the goal is to climb
into the corner and grab their opponent's flag. Schiavone has it all
backwards, though, and says the goal is for each man to rescue their own
flag. Half this match is killed when Benoit grabs the gas can on the
floor, then stands there, as if unsure what to do next. The crowd chants
"U-S-A"--because they're dumb. Malenko winds up getting the Canadian flag
off the pole and wins the match. He and the Revolution then try to burn
it, but out comes Bret Hart for the save. Hart pulls the gas-soaked
Canadian flag from the trash can it was going to be burnt in and hands it
to Benoit. He then grabs the U.S. flag which they'd dumped in there as
well, and holds it high. *Sniff--did you ever know that you're my he-ro!*
Sting's match is next.
- In the angle we've all been waiting for, the PTB tell Juvi that he's
working in the U.S. without a visa. Juvi offers up a bottle of tequila as
a bribe. The PTB tries it and spits it out. He calls for his toothbrush
(*dum-dum-DUM!*)
- STING vs. MENG
I'm not quite sure how the finish comes about, but it involves Lex Luger
and Liz. Anyway, Meng gets the pin with the Tongan Death Grip. Like HELL
no one in WCW is getting pushed, Vin Man.
The Outsiders, Sid and Mystery Partner are next.
- Here comes David Flair in the back. Either responding to the music, or
the voices in his head, he yells "make it stop!" and bashes the piano
with his crowbar. I take back what I said earlier--David is my he-ro. He
is the wind beneath my wings.
- THE OUTSIDERS vs. GOLDBERG/???
Sid Vicious comes out behind Goldberg. Rather than beat him up, though,
he's Goldberg's partner. A shocker, I'll admit, if not exactly a
surprise. Seven minutes of punches and kicks later and Nash drops an
elbow on Sid. Hall is rolled on top an gets the pin. Yeah, it was about
that exciting. Sad thing is it'll kill RAW's main event rating.
- This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
I'd go on record as saying the first hour tonight was the worst yet of the
Russo/Ferrara era. Hours two and three were better, though. Mostly I'm
giving them marks for the Hennig heel turn, Bret Hart being consistently
good, and Sid being the mystery partner, which popped the crowd big-time.
I can't ignore the crap, though, and there sure was a lot of it this week.
In short, just about any time there was woman in the ring. The Duggan stuff
has got to go. I never want to see the Maestro again. "Oklahoma" has worn
out his welcome. Don't do gimmick matches if those involved don't know the
rules, and at least try to book the match to be interesting.
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WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Buffalo, New York.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- SmackDown! clips.
- Shane McMahon forms search parties for father Vince, who is somewhere in
the building and is believed to be a tad unstable.
- MANKIND/AL SNOW vs. THE HOLLYS
Hardcore Holly chews out Al Snow. It turns out that Holly's first action
figure is bundled in the two-pack with Snow's, which has been pulled off
the shelves of Wal-Mart. Holly doesn't care if Snow chops off people's
heads or whatever, just don't mess with his merchandising. The match is
par for the course, with Snow seeing a Snowplow attempt get reversed when
Hardcore Holly drop-kicks Crash Holly (being held in the Snowplow). Crash
gets the pin. Snow is all depressed again.
There's no sign of Vince anywhere.
Triple H and D-X make their way to the arena in a limo. How are we seeing
this? The DeGeneration X members make crude remarks about members of
Vince McMahon's family. Somebody from the arena calls Triple H on his
cell phone to let him know that Vince has gone loopy.
- Shane & Test find Vince sitting outside in a car, polishing his baseball
bat. (Maybe he's looking for a piano to smash?) Vince tells them to leave
him alone.
- MARK HENRY vs. KURT ANGLE
Angle chews out Henry for being a screw-up and not winning the gold medal
for weightlifting at the olympics. Henry attacks, and gets in some
offense before Angle outwrestles him and pins him with a Northern Lights
Suplex. There's another protest sign guy at ringside, but it's a
different guy than last week.
The D-X limo pulls up. Vince, sitting in his car nearby, guns the engine
and smashes into the driver's side of the limo! Out with the bat, he
smashes all the car's windows. D-X make their escape out the other side.
I guess this means it's now PERSONAL.
- We get a look at the trashed limo. After a replay, we go inside to see
Vince banging the bat on Triple H's dressing room door. Shane and the
others can't calm him down.
- THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Sounds like Chyna won't be pressing charges, though she did require
reconstructive surgery on her thumb following Jericho's attack last week.
Jericho badmouths the Ho's. Other than the Godfather dumping Jericho out
of the ring, where he's mobbed by the Ho's, the match is all Jericho.
Lionsault leads to the pin.
Vince's actions have led to the police being called. Vince is calmed
down, cuffed, and led away. Hey, any RAW where Vince McMahon gets
arrested is a good RAW, right? Triple H seizes the opportunity to come
out of his dressing room and get in a few shots. Triple H is really
coming into his own as a no-good lousy punk, isn't he?
- EDGE/CHRISTIAN vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ
In a match that lasts forever by WWF standards, Edge & Christian get the
win, with Christian--sitting on Edge's shoulders--superplexing D-Von off
the top.
Michael Cole gets comments from the Rock. Mankind and Al Snow wander by.
The Rock does his usual catchphrases on Snow, much to Mankind's
amusement. He also clears the air with Mick by saying he didn't throw his
book away. Why you can just smell the Rock & Sock reunion in the breeze,
can't you.
Why, if Vince was arrested in an arena in Buffalo, is he being booked at
some place called "Lackawana"? And why is there a cameraman there already
waiting for him (and seemingly familiar with the layout of the police
station)?
A quick look at Stephanie McMahon and her maids of honor picking out
their dresses.
- Stephanie's bridal shower. Mae Young gives her a pair of handcuffs, a
black leather outfit, and a whip (which mother Linda takes for herself.
Look out Vince!) Mae whispers in Stephanie's ear what she's supposed to
do on her wedding night. Stephanie reacts like she's just been told about
"teabagging". Moolah chews out Mae for hitting the champagne too hard.
- JEFF HARDY (w/ Matt Hardy & Terri Runnels) vs. X-PAC
A bra flash from Terri temporarily paralyzes the King. This dream match
goes nowhere as Road Dogg and Mr. Ass come out to help X-Pac get the
X-Factor win. I'd like to see the Hardyz pick up the straps from the
Outlaws.
Vince is getting his fingerprints taken. What, no photo with the little
numbered sign?
There's the Big Show.
WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- More bridal shower. Mae's getting drunk. Linda announces a chartered
flight to Vegas for the bachelorette party. Mae (with an assist from
Moolah) takes a tumble onto the snack table. Stephanie gets a face full
of cake. You know, summing up the crap factor this week, I think anything
involving women on BOTH SHOWS were the main culprits.
Vince's picture is taken. Is this going anywhere?
- THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE (w/ Tori)
Tori watches the match up on the stage. The crowd is fairly hot for Kane
to win this one, and they get into it during a near fall. Viscera then
comes out to hassle Tori. She runs to the ring. Kane leaps over the rope
and chases down Viscera. Big Show wins by countout. Viscera ends up in
the ring and the Show gives him a monster bodyslam.
Vince uses his one phone call to issue instructions to Shane.
- Dominik Hasek is in the crowd. Who?
Clips of Austin filming a video. They then hype the "WWF Greatest Hits"
show which will be on UPN next Tuesday. See "Hell in the Cell" one more
damn time.
- Triple H is out to whine about being screwed and whatnot. Shane comes out
and informs him that he'll be facing the Acolytes tonight in a handicap
match. We also learn that Vince has accepted Triple H's challenge from
SmackDown! to a match at Armageddon. If Triple H wins, Vince can't do
anything to Triple H (fire him, suspend him, fine him, etc.) Triple H
taunts Shane into the ring. The other members of D-X attack, but the
numbers are then evened up by Test, Patterson & Brisco, and the Hardy
Boyz.
- Mr. Ass his having his leg looked at. He supposedly hurt it falling out
of the ring, but the fall didn't look bad at all. Anyway, the tag title
match tonight is off.
- VAL VENIS/BRITISH BULLDOG vs. TOO COOL
Jim Ross talks about the "Parents Television Council" and their efforts
to scare off advertisers for WWF programming. It wouldn't seem like a big
deal, except that they've already cost the WWF Coca Cola and the U.S.
Army. The WWF website has info how you can write to other advertisers and
urge them to stick with the WWF. Like I've always said, it's one thing to
find offense with something, it's another to go out of your way and
purposely try to hurt another's business. The scary thing is everything
the PTC is complaining about easily applies to WCW and ECW as well. I
don't think either WCW or the WWF has too much to worry about, but ECW is
already on shaky ground with TNN. Highest rated show or not, lose a few
sponsors and TNN might decide to dump ECW.
There's a "backstory" behind this match, but I'm not buying it. Val bails
on the Bulldog. The Mean Street Posse come in to help the Bulldog,
drawing the DQ. Rikishi Fatu (formerly the Sultan) comes out to help Too
Cool (why?). Pete Gas gets the buttsplash and chest crusher off the
corner turnbuckles. Rodney eats a Snowplow. Too Cool then get Fatu to
join them in a bit of shuck and jive. Norman Smiley would be so proud.
Shane and Test prepare or plot or something.
Vince is introduced to his greybar hotel room.
- Some more "End of Days" stuff. I get the feeling Arnold will be back.
- ROAD DOGG vs. TEST
Shane makes himself the special referee, which makes the finish somewhat
academic. Shane blocks a roundhouse (and eats a punch for his troubles),
allowing Test to lay in the boot, apply the between-the-legs pumphandle,
give it to him doggy-style, and slam him for the pin.
Vince is still in jail. And ... ?
- THE BIG BOSSMAN/PRINCE ALBERT vs. THE ROCK/???
In our other "Mystery Partner" match of the night, the Rock comes out all
by himself. Just as things are looking grim for him, Mankind comes out to
his corner. Well, it was either him or the Big Show. As usual Albert does
the job, taking a People's Elbow from the Rock. Mankind gets the pin.
Consider the Rock & Sock Connection reunited.
Patterson & Brisco take great pleasure in telling Triple H it's His Time
... to get his ass kicked by the Acolytes.
Vince is still in jail. I GET IT. Oh wait, he's being let out. Who sprung
him? Like he's really going to take their advice and not return to the
arena.
- TRIPLE H vs. THE ACOLYTES
Stomp ... kill ... destroy. There's not a whole lot of time left here.
D-X have been barred from interfering, lest they be suspended for 30
days. This is "no-DQ", which means most of the action roams around the
arena. Hey, those technicians have an awfully large table for the few
pieces of equipment they're using. The crowd is dead now, having seen
Triple H take enough of a beating. They, like us at home, are waiting for
the run-in or whatever to end this. Triple H eventually decides to take a
powder. Backing up the ramp he's (not too surprisingly) cut off by Vince
McMahon, who grabs him and tosses him off the stage. Triple H crashes
into that really large table noted earlier.
I see Nitro's still going. Wow, Sid did the job.
- This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- Next week: It's "RAW is LOVE", as Stephanie and Andrew tie the knot!
Comments:
A tightly scripted show this week, that made most of what they showed really
interesting ...
... and almost succeeded in making me not notice what's missing. ALMOST.
As good a job as the WWF is doing crafting their storylines right now, it's
hard not to notice that there's just not a whole lot of them. Actually, come
to think of it, there's really only one running storyline right now: McMahon
versus Triple H.
As much as the fans would like to see McMahon beat Triple H, the best thing
in terms of storyline and Triple H's career is for him to win. I'm pretty
sure that's going to happen. That will, unfortunately, disappoint a lot of
fans come the next PPV. It's the right thing to do, though. If they go the
other way and have McMahon win, however, the fans may come away from the PPV
happy, but I don't see what it would accomplish in the greater scheme of
things.
You also have the Big Show/Big Bossman feud, but it's been a couple weeks
now since the two of them interacted with each other. I assume they'll face
off at Armageddon, and the reason they've been kept apart is to build
anticipation for that. I guess. Seems to me the thing to do is keep the
Bossman working on the Big Show, doing more to hurt and humiliate him.
Problem is they've already kind of done all they can in that regard. They
should have just had the Show destroy the Bossman at the PPV, then come up
with a new opponent for him leading to the next PPV. This is one of those
matches you put on second or third from the top of the card. Waiting until
the last few shows before the PPV to hype it will make it seem even lower
than that.
This really illustrates how the WWF has a major problem in a shortage of top
level heels AND faces. The undercard is great--no problems there. The
problems arise when you make the Big Show a babyface champion. In this day
and age he'd really be better off as a heel. The problem (lots of those) is
that there's no babyface who could face him, except maybe for the Rock. That
would be a solid match-up right now. Unfortunately it may be the one the WWF
has to go with come WrestleMania time. It's either that or the Big Show vs.
Triple H, or Triple H vs. the Rock.
So how do you get through the rest of the year without having to waste one
of these big money match-ups? By pairing off the Big Show versus various
midcarders, feuding Triple H with Vince McMahon, and doing ... whatever ...
with the Rock. With Mankind seeing less in-ring time, and the Undertaker
already gone, the WWF couldn't have lost Steve Austin at a worse time.
I assume the Rock & Sock Connection will be teaming up to face the New Age
Outlaws ... yet again. At that point Al Snow will probably turn on Mankind.
Man, I'm wandering all over the place with this. Bottom line, the WWF is
doing a lot of what they're doing right now to kill time until the Royal
Rumble, and WrestleMania beyond that. And while I understand why they have
to do it, and I generally like what they've been able to come up with, I
have to admit that things are a fair bit dull right now. Stale. The company
is screaming out for a major angle of some kind, and that's just not gonna
happen until after Armageddon.
Looking at this week's show, I have a few specific complaints:
Whose bright idea was it to put the Acolytes in the main event? It's not too
bright an idea to do it anyway, but on a night when WCW has the Outsiders,
Goldberg and Sid in the ring?
At the other end of the show you've got Mankind, Snow and the Hollys
starting things off. Not exactly the most compelling beginning to put up
against Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett. Looking at the ratings this week, RAW
was down in two noticeable spots: the first and last quarter hours. Those
were enough to significantly lower the ratings of each hour. Otherwise the
show did pretty good.
Where was Chyna? If she was out selling her thumb injury then why not have
Jericho do an extra bit this week? There was nothing wrong with his match
this week, they just should have done more with him.
This show really came apart because of its reliance on the McMahon arrest
angle. It started off well enough with his snapping, crashing into the limo,
then being arrested. The next ninety minutes of him in jail, though, served
no purpose, except to make us think he wouldn't get back to the arena before
the show was over. Of course he did, just mere minutes after we last saw him
in the police station. I don't think anyone was really surprised by it,
though. Even if it *was* possible to get back to the arena that quickly,
it's the type of thing that is hard to swallow. They should have just showed
one last clip of McMahon being released about a half hour before the main
event, and scrapped all those other shots after he was booked. Showing him
in his cell over and over made us think something was going to happen, and
even though something ultimately did, it wasn't worth the wait.
Seems to me the thing to do would have been a separate angle at the police
station. Finish up the match in the arena, then cut to McMahon being
released. Having Vince come out of his cell, only to see that Shawn
Michaels, Steve Austin or the Undertaker--someone like that--had bailed him
out. Now that would have gotten people talking! Probably wouldn't have made
much sense, yet, but it would definitely be a shocker worthy of the build up
to it. Or have Vince get out, only to be jumped by D-X in the parking lot.
They had been banned from the ring area for Triple H's match, after all.
As it stands they wasted a lot of time trying to convince us something we
could all see coming from miles away wasn't going to happen. Looking at the
ratings it either worked, and people switched away thinking nothing would
happen, or they knew, and just didn't care.
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The Bottom Line:
Vince Russo did an interview for WrestleLine this week. After reading that,
I guess WE FANS have to come up with a new vocabulary to describe WCW. See,
according to Russo, there's no such thing as "pushes" anymore. He fairly
bristles at the notion that some wrestlers are being pushed over others.
According to him, the wrestlers merely get a segment to show what they can
do, and have to make the best of it. How far they go is based on crowd
reaction.
"Over" seems to be a relative term as well, as his definition of over is,
well, anyone he chooses to put on TV. Looking at this week's show, guys like
Jeff Jarrett and Creative Control were out many times, even though Jarrett
is barely over, and Creative Control not at all.
On the matter of the "Powers That Be", Russo is actually insulted when asked
if they're being pushed. Russo defends them by saying they're vehicles being
used to get others over.
Cutting through it all, it sounds like a "don't look behind the curtain!"
defense. We're not supposed to even think out them the twenty or thirty
times per show the words "Powers That Be" are said, or they're involved in a
skit. We're just supposed to look at who they're interacting with and be
interested in them. Chavo Guerrero selling Amway, Duggan mopping toilets,
Juvi getting deported--this is the new WCW.
To anyone who's watched wrestling for a while, it seems like the PTB are
being pushed, just as we felt Vince McMahon was pushing himself as the evil
"Mr. McMahon", and is doing so again now as a babyface. People defended
McMahon (myself included) because it was pretty clear that he was putting
Steve Austin over, and looks to be doing the same with Triple H. Russo would
argue that's what he's doing with the Powers That Be.
The problem, as I see it, is that the Powers That Be are much more like the
New World Order than Vince McMahon. We're not going to see Vince Russo
anytime soon in the ring putting other wrestlers over. Instead there are
agents of the PTB who will represent them in the ring. Thus far that
includes Jeff Jarrett, Creative Control and Curt Hennig. Looking at them the
obvious question is how far over can someone opposing them get? This isn't
exactly main event level talent. The PTB have been pushed as a top level
heel force, yet they're using upper-level midcarders to annoy mid-level
midcarders. Roddy Piper is the biggest name to be dragged into all of this.
Wasn't he over already, though? How is pushing his face in the dirt going to
get him more over with the fans?
The prospects of this whole storyline do get more interesting if we assume
the whole company will eventually be divided, with some siding with the
Powers That Be and others opposing them. Maybe it will be Hulk Hogan who
comes back and takes out the PTB. The question is ... how? Ask yourself
this: how did they kill the NWO? The answer: no one did, it just died on its
own, a slow, painful death. WCW was never able to come up with a way to kill
the group off, and pay the fans back for all they had to put up with in
watching the group run rampant over WCW.
The problem before Vince Russo is how does he write a storyline where the
stars of WCW fight back and overthrow the Powers That Be? That's a tough
thing to do, and even tougher when you realize that we're never going to see
Russo himself out there in the ring. Or so he says.
Just imagine what a flop the Austin/McMahon feud would have been if Austin
never got his hands on McMahon himself.
That's why I'm not getting into the whole PTB storyline yet. I can't see any
payoff down the road, and in the meantime we have to be content with a
million Jarrett and Creative Control run-ins, and Curt Hennig turning heel.
You know what, I've seen Hennig a heel before. He was in the NWO. It didn't
mean a whole lot then, and his being a heel again (hell, he was still a heel
just a few weeks ago) doesn't mean much now. It doesn't help (me, anyway)
that I don't care about the wrestlers who've been targeted by the PTB thus
far. Bagwell? Duggan? Chavo & Juvi? Booker T. I might care about, but he
seems to be doing okay, having Midnight come out and save his ass all the
time. Hennig was a guy the fans might have gotten behind, but ... well,
look what they did with him. His new heel heat, along with that of Jarrett &
Creative Control, isn't going to amount to much if they don't start making
life miserable for someone a bit higher on the food chain (Roddy Piper
notwithstanding).
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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how
to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
Volume One, Number 210 of the "Monday Night Recap", November 22nd, 1999.