Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Simple List on Why I Hate the Holidays

1. I am a retail manager.

Need I say more?

Okay, I'll say more. During the 'happiest time of the year', customers often turn into evil Xmas gremlins, yelling at associates about things that we obviously cannot control. Example A: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT HAVE THAT GIFT SET THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS?!" or B: "Your merchandise smells/looks/tastes like crap!". Well, happy shopper, if you shopped ahead of time like a smart person we would have said product. And if you hate our store then... why are you shopping here?

Also, this means I get to work insane hours like 2:30am on Black Friday and 7am during extended mall hours. I don't get to take time off during the holidays, and my blood pressure is sky high because of the amount of caffeine I have to consume. Happy girl.

2. I'm sober.

This means I either A. sit around being lonely a lot while all my friends are out getting black out drunk or B. am forced by my kind soul to chauffeur my wasted friends around to holiday parties and bars. Being sober during the holidays does have its up sides though. I also tend to get a lot of 'me' time which means that I typically have perfectly tweezed eyebrows, bake a lot of fun stuff, and catch up on cheesy reality shows (Kourtney & Kim Take New York is getting pretty intense this season).

3. Other people's families make me feel awkward.

It's no secret I'm painfully awkward and a little bit shy. Being introduced to friends' (more specifically, boyfriends') parents kind of make me want to die. I get harshly judged by not sampling Uncle Tom's special turkey (love animals, don't eat them!), and spend hours hearing about the girl my love interest dated during his most awkward years. Considering this year will be my first single holiday season in... a long time, I find myself very lucky to not have to deal with that this year.

4. People are crazy enough to wish for snow.

I live in Michigan. We get enough of that pesky white stuff as it is. So on years like this one, when we are lucky enough to not have gotten any snow on Christmas, crazy people are praying for it. And they usually get their way. So on top of residing in one of the most boring states in the USA, we now are snowed in our houses as well.

5. Christmas makes me broke.

I do not like being broke. I spend wisely each month in order to maintain a healthy savings account. I can afford everything I need, and then some, all on my own. I work really hard for my money (see #1). I still don't understand why CHRISTmas has become all about gifts, but like a typical American, I buy into it. I stress myself out over my nephews not having enough gifts, and take it upon myself to compensate for any possible lost smiles on Christmas morning. And so, despite the fact that I rarely ever receive gifts, I spend as much as I can on family without starving the next week, and even buy all the pretty, expensive wrapping paper.

That said, I really do enjoy the hot beverages, delicious food, and classic films that come along with the holidays. The cold weather snuggling is nice, too. I hope you get lots of hugs from those you love and have a wonderful time celebrating the holidaze.

1 comment:

We've turned the holidays into a damn kangaroo circus! Next year, it's the islands or something for me. No gifts, no expectations, no spending a zillion dollars. Jus a couple of bottles of MOET, the beach, and lazy vacay living! Good read :)