Jimmy Graham has been condemned to tight end-hood by arbitrator Stephen Burbank and will lose in the neighborhood of $5 million per year as a result. One of Burbank’s rationales was that Graham identified himself on Twitter as a tight end rather than as a wide receiver.

So . . . you guessed it . . . the tight end is now an endangered species. Browns tight end Jordan Cameron already changed his bio Wednesday, just hours after the Graham ruling. Cameron changed his bio from “Pro Bowl TE for the Browns” to “Pro Bowl pass catcher for the Browns.”

Frankly, “Pro Bowl Anything For The Browns” ought to get you max money.

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Philadelphia Flyers star Claude Giroux apparently will not be charged for grabbing that Ottawa cop’s behind outside a bar. It may, however, be mentioned at the Wachovia Center now and then, so were I Giroux, I would never slump again.

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Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey has been looking to move Jeremy Lin almost since the day he got him from New York, but his true desperation hadn’t been fully measured until now.

The Rockets’ courtship of Carmelo Anthony includes pictures of Anthony in a No. 7 jersey in the windows near one of the entrances to the Toyota Center. Lin wears No. 7, which is to say he wears No. 7 at his next team.

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Tim Howard told Dan Patrick that he thinks the U.S. goalkeeper in Russia in four years will be Brad Guzan, a very clever/properly modest answer. But the betting is Guzan won’t be getting a call from the Secretary of Defense.

Howard, who made 449 saves in the U.S.’ 2-1 loss to Belgium, did Radio Row Roulette Wednesday, but still had time to take a call from Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, who thanked him for “defending the USA,” and tweeted “From 1SecDef to another.”

Well, we’re not safe from political pandering, that’s for sure. Besides, 16 saves is absolutely a Presidential call, which Howard also got.

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Here are your pre-World Cup FIFA Rankings, released June 5. The next one comes after the World Cup, where it is at least more likely that the champion will be ranked first (if the bribes are properly high). But here are how the Top 15 have done (hint: FIFA got seven of the surviving eight, missing on Costa Rica).

1. Spain – evaporated.

2. Germany – Still very alive.

3. Brazil – Neymar is thriving but it’s a nervous side anyway.

4. Portugal – Routed by Germany, and done.

5. Argentina – Messi!

6. Switzerland – Undone by Messi!

7. Uruguay – The world’s least popular team, done.

8. Colombia – The world now pronounces James in an entirely different way.

9. Italy – Done.

10. England – Done.

11. Belgium – Maybe the U.S. wore them out.

12. Greece – Still trying to score minus-one goals.

13. USA – You know.

14. Chile – Neymar’d, and done.

15. Netherlands – Arjen Robben wins the 10-meter dive, again.

Lesson: It’s easier than you think to pick winners here.

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And finally, Ghana’s national team, the only one to lose to the U.S. at the World Cup as the high moment in a fortnight-long bickerfest, is still coming out ahead in the end.

According to Hollywood industry web site The Wrap, the Ghanaian player revolt over unpaid bonuses is being turned into a movie entitled “The Wall Pass”, with director Darryl Wharton-Rigby having already written a screenplay. The plot turns on a courier who is ambushed on the way to bringing $3 million to an African soccer team, which refuses to play until it is paid — in cash. The courier has 12 hours to recover the stolen money, or hilarity ensues.

Screams out for Liam Neeson now, doesn’t it? And when the movie is over, he can take some of the box office take to the Ghanaians, or have to answer to Sulley Muntari. Payment had better be prompt.