Every time we see a new Friedberg/Seltzer film we hope maybe they've learned something and put their skills to more creative use. But no, instead we're once again astounded that anyone gives them money to make these unfunny rehashes.

When the mopey Becca (Proske) moves back to live with her small-town sheriff dad (Bader), she feels her life can't get any worse. Her childhood friend Jacob (Riggi) is acting rather strange, and she finds herself attracted to the sullen Edward (Lanter). As three vampires (Britt, Weber and Brobst) maraud through the landscape, Becca and Edward struggle not to consummate their relationship. And when Edward runs off to hide, Jacob makes his move. Note: Yes, this is virtually the exact plot of the first two Twilight movies.

It was only a matter of time before a vampire themed spoof movie was bound to appear - and it's fallen in the capable hands of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the director/writers behind the recent spoofs Scary movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartan and Date Movie.

If Airplane! is the Mad magazine of cinematic lampoons, then Meet the Spartans is its subpar competitor, Crazy. Produced and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, this feeble spoof of 2007's surprise hit 300 is a year too late and several million brain cells too short. After delivering the appalling Spy Hard, Date Movie, and Epic Movie, the team has tricked yet another studio suit into letting them hurl this excremental example of their sodden, slapdash satire at audiences. No one aside from 14-year-old dweebs who've yet to know the touch of a woman will be laughing, however.

Following the Frank Miller/Zack Snyder spectacle beat for beat (King Leonidas -- Sean Maguire -- takes a dedicated group of Spartans to the Hot Gates to defend his city against the advancing Persian horde and their God King Xerxes -- Ken Davitan), Freidberg and Seltzer bloat their unbelievably bad script with every past-its-shelf-life pop culture reference imaginable -- including Carmen Electra. There are nauseating nods to Shrek, American Idol, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Deal or No Deal, Ugly Betty, Donald Trump, Transformers, Borat, and You Tube whiner Chris Crocker. When not foraging through those whose 15 minutes of fame expired several TMZ stories ago, Meet the Spartans is advancing child abuse, homophobia, and ethnic pigeonholing as part of its "only a joke" kind of insult humor.

Surf's Up is an animated comedy that delves behind the scenes of the high-octane world of competitive surfing. The film profiles teenage Rockhopper penguin Cody Maverick (Shia LaBeouf), an up-and-coming surfer, as he enters his first pro competition. Followed by a camera crew to document his experiences, Cody leaves his family and home in Shiverpool, Antarctica to travel to Pen Gu Island for the Big Z Memorial Surf Off.

If one had to find a problem with teenage underdog movies, one of the most prominent ones would have to be that they always seem to want audiences to feel sympathy for the plight of their sad protagonists. In Napoleon Dynamite, even though the hero of the title (Jon Heder) is a four-eyed teenage misfit with no social skills and a truly frightening haircut - and he couldn't care less. Napoleon Dynamite is confident about his ability to draw fantasy characters in the pages of his Trapper Keeper ("I'm pretty much the best at it") and isn't afraid to voice his approval when something goes his way ("Sweet!") or get pissy when somebody asks him what he's doing that day ("Whatever I feel like doing, gosh!"). He's a hero for the ages; it's just not entirely clear what age.

Napoleon Dynamite isn't much of a film, when you break it down outside the theater, when the cheers have died away and you're left with the nagging question: But what was it about? Napoleon attends high school in a small Idaho town, living with his much older but just as dweeby brother, Kip (Aaron Ruell) and his grandmother who, at the start of the film, has just landed herself in the hospital after a four-wheeler accident. This precipitates sleazoid Uncle Rico (Jon Gries), with his dreams of lost football glory and ideas about door-to-door sales, moving into the house to watch the boys and generally make them feel crappy about themselves. There's the barest hint of a storyline about Napoleon getting a crush on a girl from his class, Deb (Tina Majorino), but that's really only there to give him somebody to dance with at the prom. Slightly better is Napoleon's friendship with the nearly-mute Pedro (Efren Ramierez), the new kid in school, and the battle they wage against the cool clique in order to win Pedro the school presidency. Oh, and there's a big joke about tater tots - Election it ain't.

If one had to find a problem with teenage underdog movies, one of the most prominent ones would have to be that they always seem to want audiences to feel sympathy for the plight of their sad protagonists. In Napoleon Dynamite, even though the hero of the title (Jon Heder) is a four-eyed teenage misfit with no social skills and a truly frightening haircut - and he couldn't care less. Napoleon Dynamite is confident about his ability to draw fantasy characters in the pages of his Trapper Keeper ("I'm pretty much the best at it") and isn't afraid to voice his approval when something goes his way ("Sweet!") or get pissy when somebody asks him what he's doing that day ("Whatever I feel like doing, gosh!"). He's a hero for the ages; it's just not entirely clear what age.

Napoleon Dynamite isn't much of a film, when you break it down outside the theater, when the cheers have died away and you're left with the nagging question: But what was it about? Napoleon attends high school in a small Idaho town, living with his much older but just as dweeby brother, Kip (Aaron Ruell) and his grandmother who, at the start of the film, has just landed herself in the hospital after a four-wheeler accident. This precipitates sleazoid Uncle Rico (Jon Gries), with his dreams of lost football glory and ideas about door-to-door sales, moving into the house to watch the boys and generally make them feel crappy about themselves. There's the barest hint of a storyline about Napoleon getting a crush on a girl from his class, Deb (Tina Majorino), but that's really only there to give him somebody to dance with at the prom. Slightly better is Napoleon's friendship with the nearly-mute Pedro (Efren Ramierez), the new kid in school, and the battle they wage against the cool clique in order to win Pedro the school presidency. Oh, and there's a big joke about tater tots - Election it ain't.

Five years ago, Miss Congeniality gift-wrapped a Christmas hit for Warner Bros. as it delivered Sandra Bullock a much-needed meaty role. The actress was suffering a string of mediocre underperformers at the time, from the melodramatic rehab stint 28 Days to the forgettable Forces of Nature.

It's not surprising to see Bullock revisit frumpy FBI field agent Gracie Hart, though it is surprising it took her this long. Hart remains the ideal fit for Bullock's blend of cover-girl beauty and tomboy charms. Like Hart, Bullock frequently puts up a tough veneer that hides a vulnerable core that's worth exploring.

Armed & Fabulous begins three weeks after Hart was named runner-up at the Miss United States pageant, an event she infiltrated to flush out a criminal mastermind. Her stint on the beauty contest's sta

One of the best-ever names for a holiday special (sure as hell beats Frosty Returns) hits home video a year after its TV premiere, in this animated production from Simpsons creator Matt Groening. Based on a book by J. Otto Seibold and Vivian Walsh, Olive's a hip dash of Christmas humor and fun amidst specials that have just made little kids cry all these years.

See, Olive's not really a reindeer - she's a dog. A strange dog. Voiced by Drew Barrymore, she speaks English to her owner Tim (Jay Mohr), doesn't dig for bones, and won't chase cars. While listening to the radio on Christmas Eve, she hears that Santa may cancel his delivery, as Blitzen is injured. He announces (in a 90s soundbite), that he'll just have to rely on "all of the other reindeer."

The first "MissCongeniality" was itself so hackneyed thatthe actress's Lucille-Ball-like gift for guffaws was just about its onlysaving grace, and the same fate befalls her here. Bullock's delivery ofa few choice one-liners is the sole source of laughs in this clunker, andit's amazing to see her pull them off when her character has, without explanation,turned into a vapid, shallow, egocentric Barbie doll nitwit after becomingan implausible spokesmodel for the FBI.

It seems after her exposure at the Miss United States beautypageant in the first picture, the bureau decided she could best serve hercountry by being tarted up literally in satin and bows, and paraded aroundon a waving-and-smiling publicity tour of talk shows and personal appearances.

Motivated solely by corporate greed, Disney has recently begun cranking out low-ambition, high-profit margin throwaway pictures as bad as any of the odious junkers (e.g. "The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes") that the studio released in the 1960s and '70s.

But this trend may have hit a new low with the release of "The Country Bears," in which writer Mark Perez and director Peter Hastings take an outdated, Chuck E. Cheese-quality Disneyland attraction called the Country Bear Jamboree and turn it into a trite, cliché-packed embarrassment of a feature film.