Reading about petty crimes in police blotter is a guilty pleasure

History tends to favor big crimes. At least, it’s the big crimes that get the most attention and live on in books, magazine articles and in films.

Neglected in the long run are the less dramatic crimes, the sort that fill the weekly roundup of suburban police reports that’s published on DemocratandChronicle.com and in the Sunday print edition of the Democrat and Chronicle.

These crimes don’t make the history books, though some are certainly quick accounts of what must have been disturbing incidents, such as a house break-in or a car robbery.

But some of the blotter items seem more baffling than disturbing, and perhaps that’s what makes reading the roundup a kind of guilty pleasure.

The items function on a less-is-more principle, the bare-bones accounts leaving us to speculate, to question, to sometime shake our heads.

For example, we read the most recent crime summary and wonder why “someone” — it’s often an unnamed or unknown “someone” — would hide in the Greece Marshalls until closing hours and then walk out with just a package of candy.

We wonder how a similar someone in Chili could pass two fake $5 bills, one of which contained the words, “It’s not money, it’s a joke.”

What was the robber in Henrietta thinking when he tried to walk out of Henrietta store after concealing a bottle of salad dressing and a New York Post newspaper?

And we find ourselves questioning the intelligence of the three people who tried for an hour to break into Cornell’s Jewelry in Pittsford by hammering away at a tamper-proof window.

The roundup does give a sense of how life has changed here, thanks, in part to new technologies.

Sometime between Aug. 23 and Sept. 7, a Brighton resident was the victim of a computer-related scam. Turns out, too, that someone had been remotely accessing a Greece resident’s computer, phone and smart TV for four years.

The short crime items have been a feature of newspapers for decades, probably going back to accounts of a snake tricking the residents of a certain garden to take a bite of an apple.

Fifty years ago, the big news in the Democrat and Chronicle of Sept. 18, 1968, was the visit to Rochester of Democratic presidential candidate Hubert H. Humphrey.

“it was a roll-out the beer, pop-and-hot dogs welcome at the Page Airways at the Page Airways terminal,” wrote staffers Bill O’Brien and Mike Power.

The Democrat and Chronicle's Page 3B on Sept. 18, 1968, includes a story about a liquor theft as well as stories about Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey's campaign visit to Rochester. He then was the Democratic presidential candidate.(Photo: Newspapers.com)

The story — two paragraphs in length — reported that the manager of the Arch Lounge in the city had pleaded guilty to “one count of refilling liquor bottles with other liquor.” No details were given on what liquor went out, what liquor went in.

Earlier in the week, hapless robbers tried to rob a bank by cutting a hole in the roof, lowering a ladder and climbing down. “Nothing was taken,” though there were drill marks on the safe, the paper reported in a three-paragraph story.

That’s the best kind of crime story. No harm, no loss, and we can feel superior to the perps.

And the roundups sometimes offer life lessons as well, such as: Don’t take any $5 bills that carry the words, “It’s not money; it’s a joke.”

On Remarkable Rochester

Retired Senior Editor Jim Memmott reflects on what makes Rochester distinctively Rochester, its history, its habits, its people. Since 2010, he has also been compiling a list of Remarkable Rochesterians. Contact him at: (585) 278-8012 or jmemmott@DemocratandChronicle.com or Remarkable Rochester, Box 274, Geneseo, NY, 14454.

Gloria Mattera(Photo: Provided photo)

Remarkable Rochesterians

At the suggestion of Myrt Merritt of Geneseo, Livingston County, let’s add the name of this pioneering educator to the list of Remarkable Rochesterians that can be found at rochester.nydatabases.com:

Gloria Mattera (1931-1988): A leader in the migrant education, she grew up in Rochester, graduated from The College at Brockport in 1952 and taught for a year in Greece before moving to the demonstration elementary school at the State University College at Geneseo. With a master’s degree from Brockport and a doctorate from Penn State University, she then joined the Geneseo college faculty. In 1968, she founded the Geneseo Migrant Center at the college to offer summer education for the children of migrant farm workers. It eventually expanded to include daycare and adult education. She instituted a national scholarship for migrant youths attending college, and received numerous national honors. The Migrant Center is now part of the Genesee Valley Educational Partnership in Mount Morris, Livingston County.