living without alcohol, living again

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The trunk of the tree where the magic happens

New books are in. Bummer, just when I wanted to start doing things….. 😀

I got:

Seven weeks to sobriety – the proven program to fight alcoholism through nutrition. From Joan Larson. Hoping to find an answer to why I don’t have cravings while most other bloggers that I know do have these. Also they promise to repair the brain part that causes addiction. I am very, very curious. I think there might be some truth in a physical cause of addiction because e.g. the book of Nakken describes my addiction correctly word for word. I am wondering, how can this process be the same in everybody if there is not a physical cause (too)? Very curious.

And I do wonder, if I believe what she says, would I start drinking again and just eat healthy? No, but I’d love to try the recipe with a drinker that does not think he should stop. That would not be blind of course but still. Or, if possible, try it in an elderly home and see the effects. Or reverse the recipe, sell it to bars and get rich.

The postman also brought: Food of the Gods – the search for the original tree of knowledge, a radical history of plants, drugs and human evolution’ by Terence McKenna. It is about altered states of consciousness and our fascination for it. Also it speaks of a tree of knowledge -that I must Google- and I once had a dream of a immensely large tree that was my life, my history, my family and I flew around it and through it and really wanted to be close to the trunk but I could not because there were 50 or more empty liquor bottles laying at the ground around the stem. They were keeping me from reaching the trunk of the tree where the family, the tribe, the magic, transformation, love, wisdom, understanding, peace, ‘the universe and all’ was.

Somebody I know said: it tells you that you need to quit drinking if you want to get there. I did believe that, but I did not want to. I explained it away in my head saying ‘I don’t drink liquor, I only drink beer, these bottles are not my bottles so the message is not for me.’ This must have been about 15 to 13 years ago. Should I draw up the tag ‘denial’? I could have done that before but I was in denial about the denial.