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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I am taking a 20 minute time out from working this morning. I need to gather myself. I have been working nonstop lately, and for good reason! The dance recital is next Saturday and Sunday. HELLO where did this year go?! It literally flew by. I think the real culprit is the weather. Usually, the warmer the temps get, the closer the recital feels. This year it snowed two weeks ago, so it has felt like it was still winter. This week it's been in the 80's though so...it's boiling up at the studio!

Everything is clipping right along, though. Dances are done and most look fantastic. There's always a few that make me nervous, but they turn out just fine in the end. The program is waiting to head to the printer, posters will be hung up tonight. Pictures are this weekend and the set is almost done! I, two students and 2 alumni spent about 6 hours yesterday painting (and sweating) and now I can officially say, our part will be done today! Yeeeeehaw!

Anyways! The point of today...

5 things I love today.1) DVR. This invention is genius. I can't sing it's praises enough. Dave and I have several shows we both love and we love to watch them in bed before we both fall asleep. He especially loves when I sing the gLee songs along with the TV and dance in bed...HA right! :)

2) Planning a little boy nursery! I have the best idea and I can't wait to get going on it.

3) Rory's water table. Dave and I got her a "water table" for out on the deck and she looooves it. She sits and splashes in it for as long as we'll let her. There's boats and cups for her to play with and she soaks herself daily. :)

4) Flip flops. Ahhh. My feet are loving being out in the open. I could use a nice pedicure, though...hmmm...

5) Top Chef Reruns. It's Rory's daycare morning, so I get to watch whatever I want on tv. :) I'm typing my recital speech and watching Top Chef. Awesome.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Pregnancy Week-by-WeekHow Far Along: 17 weeks and 6 days, according to my ultrasound this morning. Size of baby: Well, the ticker says an onion sized baby this week. We found out this morning little one is weighing in at 8 oz! Nice full glass of water.Total Weight Gain/Loss: Not sure! I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago and I had lost weight since my last visit. (Not unusual for me.) So...down?Maternity Clothes: Maternity pants, except yoga pants. I can wear regular comfy pants. Mostly maternity shirts now.Gender: Here comes the big announcement...we're having a BOY!!!!!Movement: Not much. I found out this morning that I have an anterior placenta, meaning it's flipped up on top. Not a big deal, but that's why I haven't felt much movement yet. There's a lot of stuff for him to kick through! (Him!! Squeeeee!)Food Cravings: Pizza again. Mmmmmm!What I miss: nothing today. I am on cloud 9!Sleep: Pretty normal lately.Symptoms: No heartburn lately, some hip pain here and there.Best Moment this week: Finding out we're having a BOY!!!What I am looking forward to: going back to the doctor in 2 weeks to move my c-section date!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Today is a big day here in the forest. It's Rory's birthday party day! I am so excited! I've been planning for a long time.

I know some people don't understand why I feel the need to make a big deal out of a birthday that in all reality, Rory won't even remember. I get it, I realize that she won't remember this day and it's not likely to be one of the best days of her life.

That's not why I want her to have a party.

I want to celebrate this beautiful life that God has graciously loaned out to Dave and me. I want to show off to the world how far she's come in the last year and let every one know for one day that she is the most special little girl on the planet. I love to watch people gather to enjoy each other's company and all in the name of a little girl. Each year we will celebrate Rory and we will do it with style, because I want her to know just how thankful I am for each day of her life.

I understand that other families don't feel parties are necessary, and that's fine of course. But for me? I am doing it up big while I still have family to celebrate with. I have a tiny family and I am choosing to make each milestone in Rory's life a big deal while I have the time and the family around me to join.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

We had our last competition this past weekend down in Pittsburgh. My kids rocked. I have nothing to say but they were awesome. There were very few "oops" moments and even fewer "oh no!" moments. There were still some tears, as always. (GIRLS! There's no crying in dance! :)) But in the end, they were amazing and I couldn't be prouder. We brought home over 15 first place trophies, several seconds and a third or two. We were also awarded the "Overall Excellence" award for the highest total score for all routines out of all 13 studios!! We've never gotten that award before, we're not a big team and we don't bring as many numbers as most other studios. This year was a good year for us, that's for sure. My kids deserved it too, after that last competition defeated the poor kids self esteem so bad. It felt good to watch them feel good. That's what's most important, after all.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Click on monkey to donate…please help!

I am a sucker for cancer. I have lost my dear Grandma when I was 11 to brain cancer, my Grandpa recently overcame bladder cancer and my second mom, Brenda, has battled cancer 8 times and is currently in treatment. That is just a small portion of my life. Dancers' moms, dads, grandparents, friends' moms and dads...the list is endless. I am an advocate for breast health and preventative measures for ALL types of cancer. I do what I can, whenever I can, to help cancer research and there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't. I RELAY faithfully every year.

That being said. My heart was broken againthis week for a BABY with cancer. Neuroblastoma, to be exact. I am familiar with this cancer, a child from my mom's pre-k classroom a few years ago has battled this same type. It is a rigorous, absolutely heart wrenching form of cancer. This little baby, Monkey, is only 16 months old. That's just a skip older than Ro.

I can't put in to words how much my heart aches for Monkey, her 2 sisters and her parents. Click on the link above to read more about their story and if possible donate to help. The costs of cancer go above and beyond what you can imagine. (Unless of course you've been there...) Sure, insurance covers a lot, but not all, of the medical treatments but gas, food, babysitters, extra clothes, supplies, perscriptions...Frustrating and worrisome.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Pregnancy Week-by-WeekHow Far Along: 15 weeks and 2 days. (Sorry for missing last week! I didn't realize I did...my life is crrrrazy this time of year!)Size of baby: Well, as you can see from my new ticket, pumpkin head is the size of a navel orange this week! Pretty cute, but stay cooking kiddo!Total Weight Gain/Loss: Again, I don't care. I'm eating healthy and exercising whenever I can work it in and don't feel sick. That's good enough for me and my doctor. (This is a huge issue for me and I'm working on it.)Maternity Clothes: Still half and half. I am wearing maternity jeans today because I was driving all morning and wanted to be more comfy. Saturday I wore normal clothes out to dinner and looked perfectly acceptable. (Although, Dave did complain he had no idea what to wear! I almost died laughing. HELLO 15 weeks pregnant here!)Gender: I am still voting boy! I go to the doctor tomorrow and we'll schedule the gender scan for sometime in the next few weeks! eeee!!Movement: Nothing too noticeable. Sometimes at night I'll feel a little bubble or flutter, but it's still pretty early.Food Cravings: Nothing really lately. I did want all things watermelon flavored last week, especially those gummy watermelons Sour Patch Kids make. OOOH delicious!What I miss: not crying at the drop of a hat! Holy emotions lately.Sleep: I wake up a lot lately, but nothing I can't deal with.Symptoms: Heartburn almost every day. That stinks but I can deal.Best Moment this week: Hmmm...I'm not sure! My Dr tomorrow because I'll get to hear the heartbeat!What I am looking forward to: Doctor tomorrow!! Gender scan soooooon!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Today it is freezing in the forest. It was litterally 51 degrees when I left the studio this morning. It's raining and extremely windy. It's a dreary, yucky, grey day. So what's a dance teacher to do on a day today? Well I worked this morning (yes folks, again. I've worked every weekend, except one, since March 27. Loooove competition season! :)) and now I am sitting at home, eating some Subway and dreaming about being in my happy place...

Disney World.

It is my favorite place on Earth. Allow to explain my obsession. My dad works for a company that sells security screens, railings and portable jail cells. He's the Sales Manager, so he travels quite a bit. (Note, he had this job when I was little, left and sold insurance for 10 years or so while we were doing ministry so he could make his own schedule and is now back to the original job! Circle of life. :)) Every year, or close to it, from when I was one until perhaps 8 years old, he had a conference in Orlando. We would go down, stay at the Orange Lake Resort and spend good, quality family time at the World. When I was older, say 5th grade, we camped at Fort Wilderness on Disney property for 2 weeks. (AWESOME experience!)

Then it goes serious. I have 2 older brothers, half brothers really. They are my dad's boys from his first marriage. Mikey, the youngest but closest to me in age is 8-9 years older than me. He was in college at this point and was doing the Disney College Program. (HIGHLY recommend it! Ask me about it, if you have a kid who needs an internship or job in any field!) We got to go down two summers in a row, stay on property and enjoy all the lovely "Cast Member" (employee) discounts on tickets, etc. He eventually met his wife at Disney World, fyi. :)

I fell in love with the atmosphere of the place. Everything sparkled. Sure, it was crowded at times, it was hot in the summer, it was an amusement park. But at the same time, it was different. People smiled more, the cares just seemed to float away...I dreamed of the day I could dance in a parade at Disney World. I wanted to be Alice in Wonderland. I was a Disney Nut! (Was? Try still am! :))

So today, as I sit here, watching the rain drizzle down my window and the dark grey clouds swirl about the trees...I wonder. I count roughly in my head the days until March, 2012 when Dave and I can take both Rory and Pumpkin Head (and my competitive dance team!) to Disney. I can't wait. I turned Dave into a Disney Nut, Rory and Pumpkin have no choice. They might as well join in the madness.

Dave, if you read this (haha!), a great Mother's Day gift would be a membership to the Disney Vacation Club...if we had an extra 30,000 lying around. ;)

Friday, May 7, 2010

1) GOSSIP, specifically untrue gossip. I can't take it. I've worked hard this year on not spreading gossip. In my line of business, I hear everything and believe about 1% of it. At the moment, I'm the subject of some gossip and let me assure you, none of it is true. Ugh! Whatever happened to if you can't say something nice...maybe in this case, if you can't say something TRUE don't say anything at all. Yuck.

3) Pregnancy cravings. At the moment, I am starving for Mexican food. The closest Mexican restauranto us is an hour away. I am hoping against hope that next weekend at competition, I can get to Don Pablo's. MMMMM YES.

4) My dog barking. Ugh. I love my Millie, but she barks outside. (Not really inside at all, though.) It frustrates me because I want to leaver her out on beautiful days like today but I can't. I worry she annoys people! haha

5) The tough side of being a business owner. I dread this time of year because I have to send home late account notices. I feel like I am begging for money. I had a good friend last year tell me I am simply asking my students to, as it says in the Bible, "pay Ceasar what is due unto Ceasar." Double yuck on this one!

This is a new one for me today! I'm joining in with Kelly over at Kelly's Korner for this week's Show Us Your Life. The theme is baby names and well, that's important to me right now. :)

Okay...here's what I'm thinking. A note, we don't know the gender of the baby yet. I have my 15 week appointment on Tuesday, so hopefully we'll schedule the gender scan for sometime in the next 2 weeks. YAY!

Okay. Now. Here's the thing. I love to think up names, I like a little originality and specifically not a name that I have too many students with. I am very conscious of not "naming the baby after a dancer." (Know what I mean?) Dave, my dear husband, on the other hand...he likes "names that are definitely boy or girl, not too common, but not too unique."

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Visit Mama M over at My Little Life by clicking up there ^^^ to join in!

This so super appropriate for today, considering it's Rory's birthday! (Special birthday post is in the works. :))

I was due on May 3. I went to the doctor on Friday, May 1. I was completely closed, no efacement, no dilation, NOTHING. The only thing my dear darling doctor gave me as hope was that Rory was dropped. (Well, he said "the baby" because we don't know the sex! CRAZY.)

Yippee. She'd been dropped for like three weeks. Give me a break.

So I had to wait. BUT! The good thing is he gave me a plan, the plan was wait until Friday, have a non-stress test and get induced if she didn't come by then. A long term plan, but it was a PLAN and it made me feel better. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel of pregnancy. I. Was. Huge. HUGE!! I didn't have any swelling though, thankfully. I did have major sciatica problems but that was all. HUGE and sore. Tired. Ready for baby.

On Tuesday, el Cinco de Mayo!, I was sitting out on the porch, watching Dave work in the garden, crying my eyes out because I was miserable. It was a beautiful, breezy day. Dave, my darling husband, suggested getting wings and fries from my favorite dive bar for dinner. It was AMAZING. We watched 3 hours of Extreme Homemakeover and gorged ourselves on hot wings and greasy fries. (Hot wings are key here, people. Spicy foods!) Dave fell asleep early, I couldn't sleep at all. I was uncomfortable and hot. We had the AC blasting, but I was still sweating. At midnight, on the dot, I had my first contraction. It was mild and I wasn't really sure it was a real deal. I let Dave sleep. Another at 12:30 exactly and again at 1:00 am. BAM. I knew that was it at that time. I kicked Dave and made him get up. I laid in bed for a while, took a shower and then. All hell broke loose.

I went out to the living room and called my mom. My contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. One would be hugely strong, the next more mild, then back to hugely strong. I was a little confused as to what was going on with my contractions. I thought it was all one long contractions and told the midwife when I called they were about 10 minutes apart. (Not true!) She advised me to labor at home as long as I could stand it. I made it until about 6 am, then I felt really nauseous and lightheaded. We headed for the hospital, 35 minutes away. (Gotta love living in the forest!) We made it, I checked in and got hooked up.

The nurse came in a checked me.

Are you ready for this?

Seriously brace yourself.

6.5 hours of strong contractions, 4-5 minutes apart...and I was less than 2 cms!! WOOOOOOHOOOO. Barf.

They let me labor on my own for a while, a few hours. They gave me a Pit drip after a while, nothing major happened. I asked for an epidural at noon. They checked me at that time and I was 6 cms. I didn't care, I had medicine. (Seriously, the epi is not bad at all. Get one!)

I watched Top Model with my sister, laughed with Dave, made fun of my Dad, the usual. I labored away, watching the monitor and laughing. They broke my water around 4:30 pm, hoping it would help speed things up.

They checked me at 6:00. I was still at 6! Six hours later of pit and breaking my water and absolutely nothing happened. Rory wasn't descending, I wasn't dialating, nothing. At that time, they made the decision to go to a C-section. My body was starting to show signs of serious exhaustion (hellllooo..this was hour 18 of contractions ever 4-5 minutes!) and before something had the chance to go sour, we figured it was best to get Rory out and me recovering.

They prepped me so fast, I barely had time to get nervous. The nurse gave me that nasty stomacch neutralizer shot and away I wheeled! Once in the room, I got my spinal block. And it didn't take. They gave me the scratch test and I still felt it. Like hardcore. Waited a few minutes, tried it again, STILL felt it.

I had to be put to sleep. I didn't all together mind though, because I was scared out of my mind that I would feel something! (haha) I was sad that Dave wouldn't be in the room when the baby was born, but we both understood it was best for me and the baby.

I fell asleep blissfully and at 6:50 pm, a baby was born!

Rory was wheeled in her isolette (Precuation, nothing more) to the nursery and got to meet her Daddy! It was love at first sight, for sure. :)

I woke up a little later and Dave was there, telling me she was a girl. Coming out of my fog, I thought he was talking about our dog and I said "Yeah I know." Dave laughed and said "No the baby! Do you still want to name her Rory?" And after that, it was love. <3

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I am on my last legs, emotionally. I am drained and lonely. I have had to reevaluate so much in my life lately and it has caused me to close up. Thank goodness I have my family or I'd literally have very few people I trust. Trust is such a funny thing. You can love someone just the same but be wary with your trust. This is an issue I have, have had it for years now. I am working on it but not succeeding today. I am trying. I am praying. I am trying to stay calm and focus on this beautiful life growing inside of me. I am relying on the fact that God will not give me more than I can handle and what He gives me He will equip me for. But today...I miss the way things used to be.

So this is what if feels like to walk the wildernessand this is what if feels like to come undoneSo this is what if feels like to loose my confidenceunsure of anything or anyoneSo this is what if feels like to walk the desert sandand this is what if feels like to hear my nameand to be scared to death cause I'm all alonebut feel love and peace just the sameAnd this may not be the road I would choose for mebut it still feels right somehowAnd I have never felt you as close to me as I do right nowSo this is what if feels like to be ledSo this is what if feels like to have it fall apartto be totally ungluedand find out if I accept my brokennessI get more of me, I get all of youIf this is what if feels like to be on shaky groundCareful of every step I takeRealizing as I stop to look aroundI look around and see everything a different wayand this may not be the road I would choose for mebut it still feels right somehowcause I have never felt you as close to me as I do right nowSo this is what if feels like to be ledand this is what if feels like to be ledSo this is what if feels like to just walk awayfrom everything I thought kept me safeto depend just on you for every mealand find it's better this wayoh it's better this wayAnd this may not be the road I would choose for mebut it still feels right somehowAnd I have never felt you as close to me as I do right nowlike i do right nowAnd this may not be the road I would choose for mebut it still feels right somehowAnd I have never felt you as close to me as I do right nowAnd this is what if feels like to be ledAnd this is what if feels like to be ledAnd this is what if feels like-What It Feels Like by FFH

It's prettttty darn easy. And I love it! We are Swagging to earn Disney Gift Cards. We are headed back to WDW in March, 2012 with my dance studio. (WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!) I plan to have enough gift cards by then (easily. haha) to upgrade to Deluxe Dining and take Ro to the Bibbidi Boppidi Boutique without spending my own cash. :)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

1) I am officially OUT of my first trimester! WOOOHOOOO!! I'm 14 weeks even, according to the calendar. Last ultrasound though, the baby was measuring 4 days ahead, so we'll say...14w2d or so. :) I look forward to the second trimester because then I might be able to regain some energy. The last 10 wweeks or so, I've been exhausted beyond belief. Come home from dance and fall asleep within 10 minutes! It's been rough. I've even had to lay down during Rory's nap a few times. That puts a damper on my time to get things done. (haha)

2) The dance recital is only 5 weeks away! This is beyond exciting, especially since I have the rough draft of the program done, the awards ordered and delivered, award winners (preliminarily) picked out, my dress is here, costumes are all here and handed out...it's just been GOOD this year. God is smiling on this recital. I am honoring the teacher I trained with for 15 years this year. Our show is called TRIBUTE and it is all songs I danced to when I was at my studio growing up. I have interspliced the show with anecdotes and pictures and I think it's pretty great. :)

3) My 9 year old cousin Kaarina SMASHED the all school all time pull up record this week. They were doing their first Presidential Physical Fitness Test. Nine year old girls are to do 3 pull ups to qualify. Kaarina, a gymnast and dancer for YEARS, did 23 pull ups!! TWNETY THREE! She made herself stop because she was "bored" she told me. Kaarina's goal for next year is thirty seven. Note, she's only in 3rd grade so by 5th, when she leaves elementary school, she'll probably hold the top 3 records! GO GIRL! :)

4) Rory turns one on Thursday. That's about all I can say about that without crying so yep. My girl is growing rrrrright up.

5) I have been having terrible heartburn the past few days. Anyone have any suggestions on medicines or tricks? I take Tums and it does help, but I'm always looking for something better. :)

Enjoy your Sunday! Dave and I are going shopping for little lady's birthday BY OURSELVES. That hasn't happened since March, so yep. Good things. :)