Customer: “Where is my order? I placed it Friday night and I chose Next Day Air, but I waited all day on Saturday and the deliveryman never showed up!”

Me: “Ma’am, [delivery company] does not deliver on weekends. Our shipping policy also clearly states that all processing times and shipping times are in business days.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to read your stupid shipping policy! You guys should have known what I wanted and told me if my order wasn’t going to be here Saturday!”

Me: “We can only process orders based on information provided to us. If you had noted in the comments that you needed it by Christmas, we could have called you notified you that it would not have been possible.”

Customer: “Don’t argue with me! I’m the stupid customer! I just press the buttons, give you my money, and you need to make it work!”