Catch: Gary Matthews, Jr. If that catch was the result of rampant steriod use, then more players should take steriods.

Cover: Chris Duhon's meaningless heave from the otherside of halfcourt against UConn

Baller: MJ

Stiff Arm: Laurence Maroney vs. the Bengals, 2006

The "Free Pass" List...

Nominations are currently being accepted. Submit yours here.
Link to a video, image or story? Even better.Disclaimer: no nominations from anyone associated with Duke or Around the Horn (with one notable exception)
will be accepted at this time. Thank you.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Sorry, I'm a little late to the party...I'm guessing I missed the Cavs open the game by throwing the ball into Big Z and Z responding with his obligatory awkward missed hook shot. I'm glad Cleveland has no problem wasting its first possession of each game.

This game is going to be a letdown and I am completely fine with that. There is no way on earth to possibly even come close to the game 5. All I want out of this game is a win; the final score could be 3-2 and I would be more than thrilled. Game 5 made the entire playoffs completely worthwhile and nothing else that happens from here on out can taint it.

All I want is a win, and I really don't care if it comes tonight or in Game 7, although it would be much, much better if it came tonight.

The rest of the live blog will be, as always, after the jump.First Quarter

From what I can tell, the Pistons got off to a quick start but the Cavs D has gotten them back into it somewhat. LeBron is still without a field goal attempt.

I don't think the Cavs have gotten a stop since I turned in the TV. Cripes, fellas. At least they are scoring at the other end - Larry Hughes already has a pair of threes, and Sasha is being aggressive. Z, of course, has a tip in, two missed hook shots and 97 dribbles taken. 15-14 Cleveland in the early going.

Rip drills a three...he is so good at his midrange game I am always stunned when he hits a three. I feel like he isn't strong enough to get it there or something.

Billups hits a three to push the lead to 4....the pace of this gme is out of control. Compared to the first 5 games, this is Suns/Warriors on HGH. Back after the break.

Sasha off to a quick start. I was one game early on that "Sasha will do awesome" prediction.

Christopher Webber picks up a technical for...I am nut entirely sure. I think he was yelling at someone on the Cavs. Make that a double tech; the refs hit Sasha with one, too. Oh! Webber just two hand shoved Andy (I have no idea how to type "Varejao" with any type of consistency, so it is Andy from here on out.) in the chest. What a duchebag (I also do not know how to spell that). LeBron hits the free throw to tie it at 19.

matt said...

There ya are.

The Cavs are playing a little too much show time no look crap for the crowd. Dudes- just play your ugly ass usual style b-ball. That's what got you here.

No joke. The pace of this game is weird; I have no idea where it came from. It'll settle down eventually...I think both teams are just ramped up; Detroit is playing for their lives and Cleveland is a game away from the Finals. Hard to blame either of them, really. Cavs up one as we head to commercial. Just over two minutes left.

LeBron with his FIFTH assist so far; he finds Andy cutting down the middle. 22-21, Cavs.

The Pistons spring a quick trap on Hughes and he is completely baffled by it. Jump ball. Bobbie is in the game, just let him bring it up instead of Mr. Casual. Honestly, if Larry Hughes raced Chauncey Billups...would that be the least exciting thing ever? Both those guys show about as much enthusiasm as

Oh, Andy with a nice finish and draws a second foul on Webber. Nazr Mohammed checks in and has his shot imeediately blocked; guess he is a little rusty since he's only played four minutes the entire post season. Next possession for the Pistons: Del Fino picks up the offensive foul. Man, Flip...Mohommed AND Delfino? I guess he is just saying "Screw it, it doesn't matter who we play, this game is getting decide in the fourth."

Mohammed fouls Boobie on a three with 2.2 second left. Man, Nazr is screwing up. I like when he's in. Boobie makes 2 of 3 and the Cavs end the first up, 27-21. 27! Good God, Cleveland, you are an offensive juggernaut.

Second Quarter

LeBron seemed oddly fired up that quarter...not screaming and stuff, but his passes had a little extra flair, making them no looks, jump passes....not that I am complaining; you might never hear my criticize the man ever again. I have become oddly defensive of LeBron after his game 5 performance, especially in response to any idiot who says "Well, hey, that's what happens when he plays hard!" Bullshit. He could play that hard for his entire career - hell, anyone could - and never see a performance like that. That was other wordly. Even things I bashed him for - like not playing hard or always seeming interested - I can't criticize him for anymore. I just can't. I'm too in awe.

The buzzer is malfunctioning, so we are treated to Craig Sager with an airhorn. That sounds like a terrific name for a blog, doesn't it? "Craig Sager's Airhorn." I like it.

The Cavs and Pistons players are all just chilling on the scorer's table while LeBron munches on his nails. I don't mind the nailbiting habit that much, but how the hell does he have any nails left to chew? He does it every single game...he had to have finished with the fingernail ages ago, I'm sure by now he is down to the skin and I wouldn't be stunned if he was gnawing on bone by this point. Maybe his nails regenerate faster than everyone else's though, like John Lock's finger on Lost. That would make sense to me.

Marv asks if this feels like a rain delay. Point 23 says yes. Back when the quarter starts.

Steve Kerr is talking about LeBron's dominance, and I am paraphrasing: "You see him dominate and forget he is only 22..he makes you forget that he is doing it against some of the greatest athletes in the world." As he is saying this, the camera pans to Donyell Marshall and Chris Webber, shattering any believability that statement had.

This delay is taking forever, we are on our third commercial break. Who does the delay hurt more? Well, the Cavs were on some kind of a run, so any momentum they had was killed, so probably them. But here is my thinking: this break is at least as long as a halftime, so this is going to trick the Cavs into thinking the third quarter is about to start. So they will suck in the second, then play great in the third, which they think is the fourth, and play even better in the fourth, which they think is overtime.

They are scrambling all over the place looking for clocks and horns and stuff...why the hell don't they have backup equipment like, under the scorer's table? I think they've settled on shot clocks in the corner, three different people have stop watches for time, and someone gets an airhorn for the buzzer. Good God, I have come up with better schemes in the driveway when I was 11.

Marv: "Do you feel like you are watching a Peter Sellers movie?" I have no idea who that is. Anyone?

The PA guy is counting down the shot clock in some deep, disembodied voice from the future. Whenever he says 10 seconds, everyone starts speeding up, like when the music stats going faster on Mario Brothers. Sleep Marshall seems OK with it, though: he sticks a three to push the lead to nine, 30-21.

Sheed hits a bucket at the same time as a defensive three seconds, and if they happen at the same time, you count he bucket. I did not know that.

Hunter picks up the foul as LeBron drives, who is about the fifth different Piston to guard him. Why not just pick two and have BOTH of them guard him? One doesn't seem to work to good, does it Flip?

LeBron picks off a pass and gets out in transition...Sheed AND Hunter foul him, but somehow the refs call neither.

This game has such a weird feel to it, with The Voice counting down and no clocks on...it feels like an open gym or something, but really, it is the most important game of the NBA season.

Andy steals a pass in the paint, ignores LeBron who is begging for a outlet pass, goes coast to coast - going behind the back at half court, mind you - and then, and you are not going to believe this, he throws up the ugliest layup of the Second Season which, shockingly, misses badly. Surprising; ee usually pulls that one off. Cavs up 4.

Sheed hits a jumper and is fouled. He has nine points already and is playing really well. Damnit.

Oh, Good God, I can't breathe. Boobie goes flying into the paint, makes the bucket and is fouled, but he is laying on the ground, writing in pain.

Oh, OK, he's fine...he's just a little dramatic. I can live with that as long as it leads to three-point plays.

Gibson fouls Rip in the act of shooting. That is like the fourth time that has happened already and Gibson gives opponents, on average 2.1 three point play attempts per game in games in which he plays at least 12 minutes*. That isn't good, Boobie.

*I made that statistic up.

I'm gonna agree with Doug Collins here: LeBron has been out a while, and considering he slept in until 2 pm yesterday and there was a half hour delay already this game, does he really need the rest? The Pistons have it within 2 and the Cavs offense look atrociously disjointed.

Bron checks back in as we go to commercial.

Sheed is killing it. He follows up his own airball with a dunk in which he did his best to rip the rim off. He is keeping the Pistons in this game.

Rip spends the entire time LeBron is at the line bitching to Eddie Rush, who then waits about 4 seconds before calling a bullshit foul on Boobie in favor of Rip. That is bullshit. Either way, Rip makes both. Pistons down two, 41-39.

Rip scores over Gibson again. He has 16, but a quite cuz I didn't even think he was in double figures yet. Game tied at 41 as my man Boobie gimps off the court. Just under 4 minutes left.

LeBron grabs a defensive board, works his way up court, and then explodes to the rim. I love when he does that. He knocks down both freebies. He has only shot twice and all his points are from the FT line.

Pistons up one with just under two minutes left; a patented Chauncey Billups "turnover-bad shot-turnover" would be really nice right now.

Oh, man. LeBron comes over from the week side and rejects Rip's shot with his elbow. Damn, Rip. Rip then commits a stupid foul, his third of the game. I'm calling it now: he is gonna get throw outta this game. He already has one tech and he is bitching non-stop. If the Cavs go on some kind of a run, he's gonna snap.

Tied at 48 at the end of the first half. That first half blog was a disjointed as the first half; the game just had a really goofy feeling to it. I don't know if it was because the teams were a little out of it, playing different styles, or because there are no clocks and God is counting down the shot clock...it's just weird. We'll try better in the second half.

Third Quarter

Alright, we've said it every game so far: let's see what the Cavs do in the third quarter. I'm hopeful.

Z misses to start the half. Ha. You can only laugh at that. It works like one outta twenty times.

Rip scores in transition, but he is bitching again...he's been a pretty big punk right now.

Sasha musta got jacked in the side of the head, because he is holding his ear and silently screaming. Mike Brown tells him to suck it up and leaves him in. Sasha responds by driving into three guys and committing an offensive foul. Some good did come of it, though: he kneed Webber in the nuts and he is on the ground holding his balls. I was not aware he had any.

How strong is LeBron? He drives and has Prince hanging all over him, but still manages to score. Prince has to weight, what, 190, 200 ounces? What a beast.

Offensive foul on Webber, who heads right to the locker room to get the sand out of his (expletive deleted). Is there medical treatment for that? Like, besides crying?

You know how Varejao is awesome at drawing charges? Like he gets one, two, sometimes three a game? Sasha is the exact opposite. Once he starts moving, he refuses to stop no matter what gets in his way, even Chris Webber's nuts. He just got his second offensive foul in the last two minutes.

How the hell does Z get so many offensive rebounds? I get that he's huge and all, but he can't jump OR move...just get in front of him and it is all yours. Either way, Cleveland takes the lead, 58-56.

LeBron misses a pull up three...which if he would have made would have blown the roof off the Q. They are cheering consistently, you can hear some noise...but they are dying for a reason to lose their minds. Bron almost gave it to them.

My little comment notifier just started working again; let's catch up on some comments...

#4 said...

i love bron because he isnt forcing anything right now....most players coming off of a tremendous game might force some bad shots, unnecessary shots....but he has the intelligence that they are playing fine without him needing to do that....at the same time, if it comes to it, he will take over...hes doing what he needs win and not trying to be the next MJ...i respect the shit outta that.....

He used to get hammered for that, but as soon as they win this series, every basketball mind in the world will praise the hell outta him for "playing the right way." I love it.

matt said...

Allright #4! WOOOO!

Weird 2nd Q, the clock delay made it like a third Q for the Cavs. That sucks. BUT- tied without LBJ even trying yet. That's gotta be a good sign.

As a fan I really hat this clock thing- it must be bizarre as hell for the players. It has even taken the crowd out. They NEED to fix this.

LBJ is about to go off now that all the clocks are fixed. Just you watch.

Drew Gooden with a ludacris hook shot...his elbow wasn't even bent. And, of course, it was on the baseline. How ya like me know, Nick Collison?

Man, the Pistons are killing the Cavs on the offensive glass. They are getting two and three chances each possession, but it doesn't really matter because they are playing Lindsey Hunter and Dale Davis, who, as you know, suck at shooting.

Boobie! My man drills a three from the corner. Cavs take the lead, 65-63.

Boobie realy has a sense of the moment, doesn't he? Throw out the 21-point performance, and just concentrate on WHEN he was scoring...they might not have been buzzer beaters, but most of his threes come at really, really ideal times for Cleveland. Love it.

Varejao just shot a three from the corner. You read that correctly. The shot clock wasn't even at 0. What the hell. It would be better if he just threw it out of bounds, at least that way the Cavs could set up their D. What the hell.

Damon Jones misses a three at the buzzer..be nice if he made one of those every once in a while. Cavs up a point as we start the fourth. Sweaty palms start...now.

Fourth Quarter

I love Boobie. He just splashed a three with a hand in his face, no hesitation. Dude has some cajones. His mentality is friggin' perfect. Cavs up.

Lindsey Hunter and Flip Murray currently in Detroit's back court. Advantage: Cleveland.

Boobie with another three! Are you kidding me? We'll leave this one to Boobie's Moms...

Mrs. Gibson said...

booooooooooooooooooooooooobbb-bbbiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Yezzir.

If there was ever any doubt, LeBron James officially owns Cleveland. He comes out of nowhere for a steal, goes the length of the court and then lays it in with Lindsey Hunter hanging all over them. He capped it off by popping off the ground and pointing to the crowd with both hands as the place exploded. Never mind how dumb Lindsey Hunter is - seriously, he had no chance of stopping LeBron there - how great was the reaction? Perfect.

Boobie again for three! I can't even believe I am seeing this. What a fuckin stud. The Q is losing its damn mind. Cavs up 12!

Hamilton gets his fourth foul, reaching in on LeBron...they gotta get him off him, he isn't even that good off a defender and he is their only consistent scoring threat at the moment. You know what? Leave Rip on LeBron. Good call.

If LeBron scores here, this place is gonna explode. I mean, Boobie just drew a blocking call on Prince - who is sucking hard core, by the way - and the place lost it. If King James does something, the roof will blow off.

>blockquote>#4 said...

if you were an nba player wouildnt you celebrate with the crowd like that on a regular basis?Oh, I would live for the fans. My go-to move would be the Iverson hand-to-the-ear, I-can't-hear-you, but I'd also point like a maniac, and if I hit a three in the corner, I'd slap five with the entire front row on my way back down the court. After big wins, I' be on the scorer's table like MJ, just screaming at the crowd.

Which is why LeBron's celebration was so perfect. He pointed to the entire city, and considering what that town as been through in its sporting history, that was no small gesture. He owns that city.

Oh, wow: Sheed gets called for an offensive foul on Varejao and then runs down the court screaming, somehow avoiding a T. I have no idea how, because even I hear him scream "That's fucking bullshit!"

Ah, there we go: Sheed gets called for another foul, fouls out, and then proceeds to lose his gah-damn mind. Didn't see that one coming.

Man, it took him forever to leave the court...he just flipped out. The entire Detroit bench was holding him back, he was yelling, pointing...he just lost it. It was awesome. Cavs up 83-69 with just under 8 to go.

Steve Kerr: "I think what you are seeing here is the end of an era." Well put, Mr. Kerr, well put.

Damon Jones misses ANOTHER three. Listen, I understand why he is in there, but with Boobie on fire and Sleepy Marshall out there, what's the point, really? He can't gaurd anyone...get Hughes out there

Boobie with his fifth three! There aren't enough exclamation points on my keyboard right now. What a freakin' stud.

matt said...

I don't know how I feel about this forever being known as "The Boobie Game".

Aww... fuck it. I'm good.

Oh, I can live with that. I am thrilled with that. The more help LeBron has, the better.

Hey, Damon Jones scored a layup! He looked really weird doing it, like he hadn't practiced one in a few years, which he probably hasn't. Cavs up 15. I really can't believe this.

Daniel Gibson - probably the smallest dude on the court - drops a tear drop over Tayshaun Prince. He has 31! This is unreal.

Flip Murray draws a foul on LeBron, his first. I can't believe Flip Murray is in with four minutes left. A Cleveland cast-off is getting crunch time minutes in the Eastern Conference Finals. Unreal.

Rip fouls out and is surprisingly subdued. If that woulda happened a few minutes ago, he probably woulda snapped, but he seems resigned to defeat, which is probably the right mind set.

This game is over. The Pistons have stopped trying to come back (I know this because Damon Jones got into the paint again, finding Andy for a wide open lay up). Cavs up 16 with two minutes left.

LeBron ices it with a fade away. Perfect.

I want to see LeBron run around with Boobie sitting on his shoulders.

LeBron launches the ball into the rafters, and this game is a wrap. Cleveland is going to the Finals, and there is no way I can possibly describe the emotion, so I'm not even going to try.

i love bron because he isnt forcing anything right now....most players coming off of a tremendous game might force some bad shots, unnecessary shots....but he has the intelligence that they are playing fine without him needing to do that....at the same time, if it comes to it, he will take over...hes doing what he needs win and not trying to be the next MJ...i respect the shit outta that.....

It's great Boobie has played so well in these playoffs but have you thought about how much it's going to cost to sign him to a deal in the off-season? He was a second round pick so he will be an unrestricted free agent after the season. It'd be pretty sad to see another great player get away from the Cavs. Imagine how good Cleveland would be if they still had Carlos Boozer. Congrats about the win.

Hi, Added a new value add to my blog this weekend - a news widget from www.widgetmate.com. I always wanted to show latest news for my keywords in my sidebar. It was very easy with this widget. Just a small copy paste and it was done. Great indeed.

An impressive share! I've just forwarded this onto a colleague who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner simply because I found it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending the time to talk about this issue here on your blog.

What's Been Said...

Words People Thought In Their Heads and Then Made Into Sentences and Then Actually Said Outloud

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house." - Elijiah Dukes. I'm not the first person to say this, but who calls thier wife dawg?

"He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game." - Curt Schilling

"I've known Larry Bird since we were kids. When he was on the Celtics and I was playing in Boston, he and Kevin McHale would come to my dressing room after the show and smoke me under the table." - John Cougar Mellencamp

"The more scotch I drink, the better the game plan gets." - Don Nelson

"We suck." - Larry Miller

"Billy Packer has been around the game long enough to know better. Soft? That's foolish. It's offensive to be called that. I try not to let that sort of stuff bother me but I will say that if Billy Packer played in my day, I would bust his ass. It would be a massacre." - Reyshawn Terry

"He looked at me and said, 'Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight?' I didn't say anything to him. If he wants to fight, we can fight. I don't have any problem with him, but we can do it if he wants to." - Tim Duncan

"Go play intramurals, brother...go play intramurals." - Dan Hawkins

"Hey kids: Do drugs." - Scott Pollard

"And you know what? It was not a nasty shot. Henderson was not looking for a cheap shot there. It was not an intentional foul at all. You can see right there he was going for the ball. It's one thing if a guy is going for a dirty punch....sucker play." - Billy Packer To be fair, this was only after 45 replays from multiple angles. Let see what he had to say a few days after the fact...

"This particular event was seen by three officials -- all six of their eyeballs. All 10 players were right there in the action. They were looking at it and, when it took place, here was not one guy who signaled intentional foul. ... But then all of a sudden, they go to the monitor, and things change. I thought they were over there because they didn't know which guy made the contact....If you really want to break this down, Henderson would have fallen on top of Hansbrough if he had been trying to hit him. He would have been like a defensive back who hits a wide receiver hard -- he basically goes right through him. And Henderson would have been looking at his point of contact. If I am trying to punch you in the face, I'm going to look right at you. Henderson wasn't looking at Hansbrough when he hit him. Alright, you're being stupid on purpose. That's the only possible explanation.

"Get back in the kitchen and fix me some bacon and eggs!" - Cedric Maxwell's advice for Violet Palmer

'Those ceremonies -- 'Oh, let's bring back those guys from 2005,' we're all crippled and fucked up, pushing wheelchairs, kids crying because his dad was on the ballclub -- fuck that' I don't need that bull. A bunch of fat guys, another one is broke. 'Hey, where's your ring?' 'Oh, I don't know, I sold that son of a bitch two years ago.''' - Ozzie Guillen

"Extraterrestrial activities. I believe in UFOs. I'm not a UFO nut, but I believe in life on other planets." - Kobe Bryant

"We gotta slow down, man. We gotta get him focused on football, man. He's focused on too much other shit. You know, I was talkin' to him the other day about smokin', and he was like 'man, if I didn't smoke I couldn't take all the stress that I'm dealing with right now.' Fisher's being as patient a motherf***** as he can. Fisher gotta win. Fisher trying to win. He ain't putting up with that shit." - Daryl Moore expressing his concern for Pacman Jones. Preach, Daryl, preach.

"San Antonio just beat us by what seemed like a hundred but I guess all that matters to him is he didn't get the minutes he thinks he deserves, so he's mad, which results in a displacement of anger," Thomas said. "What does he think, that throwing a cheap shot at me is going to keep him on the floor? Bottom line, I'm not putting up with any garbage from Brendan Todd Haywood, but at the same time, I do feel bad and upset with myself for allowing him to bait me." - Etan Thomas

"I'm just into the free money. That's it. I'll just do whatever when I get out there." - Ty Thomas, on how he plans to uphold the tradition of ruining the dunk contest

"All you guys can do is play video games and watch porn movies." Phil Jackson, explaining why he didn't give the Lakers any of his books to read

"I am a wide receiver expert." - Matt Millen Hilarious

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States." - Tim Hardaway

"I think there was a subconscious barrier. I don't think it was directed at African Americans per se, but I think we had a vision of what a head coach looked like. The head coach of a successful team, to many people, looked like Vince Lombardi. It was a white, middle-aged coach who screamed fire and brimstone and that's what we saw in NFL Films and everything, and it was a great picture." - Tony Dungy Props, TD

"Nowadays it's proven that people can live double lives. I watch a lot of TV, so I see a lot of sick, perverted stuff about married men running around with gay guys and all types of foolishness." - Steven Hunter

"If I don’t feel ouchy, I won’t be grouchy." - Kobe

"But him individually, it's funny. He doesn't seem to have much of a conscience. I really don't think he does. Some of the shots he took tonight, you miss those, and they're just terrible shots. Awful. You make them and they're unbelievable shots. I don't get a chance to play him much, so I haven't gotten used to that mentality of just chucking it up there." - Kobe

"The Gilbert Arenas Wing..."

"Quality shots." - What Gil started saying as he shot after those critiques from KB24

"My swag was phenomenal."

"You know, a hibachi grill gets real hot. That's what my shot's like, so I've been calling it that: 'Welcome to the hibachi'."

You know how I always throw my jersey into the stands after a game? In Washington, they just go crazy for it. So in this commercial, that's what I'm gonna do with my shoes. I've just hit a game winner, and I throw these shoes. Everyone starts to react, and you see everything in slow motion. Everyone's pushing, shoving, doing whatever it takes to try to get to these shoes. People from the 400 level, they're jumping off the ledge, they're missing the pile, hitting nothing but chairs, and you can just see in people's faces like, Ooooh, that hurt. While all this stuff's going on, one of the shoes pops out of the crowd, and a little girl gets it and she takes off. A couple of people see she has it, and they start chasing her, and she's looking back running—and then she gets clotheslined by a kid in a wheelchair. So he picks the shoe up and says—he's gonna have the only line in there—"They said I couldn't get it. Heh. Impossible is nothing." And then he rolls off.

"One college game that's five fouls, right? ... 40-minute game at Duke, they got soft rims I'd probably score 84 or 85. I wouldn't pass the ball. I wouldn't even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person."

“It’s like that thing I said about going back to college to score 84 points against Duke. When you really think about it, what does that even mean?”

"Theres no secret thing that he drinks before they game or that they rub on his ass before the game" - Bob Knight on Kevin Durant

"I'm reborn. It's not Mark Cuban, the benefactor. It's Mark Cuban, David Stern disciple....now it's just the added benefit of going to school at the University of David Stern." - Mark Cuban

"In the next 15 or 20 years, I hope I'll be the richest man in the world. That's one of my goals. I want to be a billionaire. I want to get to a position where generation on generation don't have to worry about nothing. I don't want family members from my kids to my son's kids to never have to worry. And I can't do that now just playing basketball." - The Global Icon

"Growing up, when you go to the park, people bring their own balls, you know? They bring Spaldings, they bring Fusions, they bring balls that've been ripped. Sometimes they bring balls with the little tittie popped out already, and they bounce and fly over here somewhere. So, I mean, you've got to play with it, you know? So I don't know what the big deal is. Let's play ball, you know what I'm saying?" - Caron Butler

"I don't know what it is. I've never been diagnosed with it. It's nothing new for me to fall asleep in a meeting. It goes back to my rookie year in San Francisco. My receivers coach [George Stewart] knew I would fall asleep. He thought I was staying up late, and sometimes I did. When I did get to bed early, I would still get to meetings and fall asleep, and it's the same thing here." - TO

"Now that's what I'm talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing. I say, why don't they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more? You don't come into the OB, baby. We've had a down couple years, but you don't come in here talking smack. Not in our house." - Lamar Thomas

"The Bears are what we thought they were. They are what we thought they were! We played them in the preseason. Who the hell plays the third game in the preseason like it's bullshit?! Bullshit! We played them in the third game. Everybody played three quarters. The Bears are who we thought they were!! That's why we took the damn field! If you want to crown them, just crown their ass!!! They are who we thought they were and we let them off the hook!!!"

"He worries about what people say about him and he Googles himself." - David Wells on Bud Selig My favorite quote of all time.

"Wells Fargo will contribute $5,000 to the 49ers Foundation to help under-served youth in the Bay Area for every 49ers touchdown scored this season. [Pause] There's going to be a lot of sad kids." - Joe Starkey, 49ers radio broadcaster

"I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout." - Keith Hernandez

"Knock it off!" - Ryan Leaf

"Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive." - Kim Etheredge

"He's a little guy who lives in my head who talks to me and I talk to him. That little midget in my head said, 'That was a great catch, Ryan,' I said, 'Hey, Farney, I don't know if that was you who really caught that ball, but that was pretty good if it was.' Everybody thinks I talk to myself, so I tell 'em I'm talking to Farney.'" - Ryan Freel

"I did insult him, it’s true. I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is." - Materazzi

"Bonzi called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I’m going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he’s got to stay with the Kings." - Ron Artest

"I can't go to jail...Any car in life you want, I got it for you, man...I'll pay for it, I promise. Tomorrow, you'll have it tomorrow...You want a Hummer? You want a...not a Bentley...But it's like I'm, I'm drunk." - Eddie Griffin

"I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85." - Chad Johnson

"I don't even know what he's talking about, I just worry about Jerome." - Jerome James, on allegations that he is selfish

"He flexed a real hard juice card, I know that. So he definitely made me aware of what he can do. But that doesn't scare me at all." - Starbury

"If I wasn't playing basketball, I'd be a criminal. That's the only other thing I knew besides basketball. That's the only other thing that came natural to me besides basketball." - Mike James

The Jalen Rose Wing...

"Like I told the guys earlier, once he turns 21 and is able to drink, it's over." - on LBJ

"He probably was a little tired from All-Star weekend. While he was running up and down the court throwing it off the backboard, I was laying on the beach drinking a fruity drink with an umbrella. So I probably gave myself an unfair advantage on that one."

"By the time we got to Detroit, it was almost 2 in the morning, because ain't nothing open but hospitals, jails and legs."

"Was it for Richard Jefferson?" - Initial thoughts on the Vince Carter trade

"I'm a GM in fantasy basketball and I'm a GM on Playstation, so on Playstation I probably would have got a little more, but this is real life, so I don't know." - More thoughts, upon further reflection, on the VC trade

"Roses are red ... violets are blue ... if you look at another girl ... I will beat you." - Mrs. Christie

"I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes." - Marcus Camby

"We don't know where the cutoff is. Maybe if you earn less than $8 million, you'll get a scholarship from the commissioner." - David Stern Stern 1, Players 0

"Yes it was unanimous, 1-0, and I won." - David Stern Stern 2, Players 0

"I feel very Dominican." - A-Rod

"Let me start by telling you this: I have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never." - Rafael Palmeiro

"I'm not here to talk about the past. I want to talk about the future." - Mark McGuire

"I've taken a lot of crap from a lot of people. Probably more than anybody in the history of this sport. I know Hank [Aaron] and Jackie [Robinson] took a good deal of crap, but I guarantee it wasn't for six years. I just keep thinking: How much am I supposed to take?" - John Rocker

"We sittin' in here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talkin' about practice. I mean listen, we talkin bout practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game. We talkin bout practice. Not a game, not a, not a, not the game that I go out there and die for, and play every game like its my last. Not the game. We talkin' bout practice, man. I mean how silly is that? We talkin' bout practice. I know I'm supposed to be there, I know I'm supposed to lead by example. I know that, and I'm not shovin' it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything. I know its important, I do. I honestly do. But we talkin' bout practice, man. What are we talkin' bout? Practice? We talkin' bout practice man." - AI

"I thought it was a brilliant play. We almost got away with it. I was stuck in an alley, boys, there was no place to go. And I gave my karate. I only got to yellow belt, but I gave them my karate. And, again, I think Brandon's a great pitcher. I played with him in high school." - A-Rod

"It hasn't changed me at all. Obviously I won't go in the stands again, but I'm the same person." - Stephen Jackson

"I can't put it into words. Playing with a guy, living with a guy, just knowing that every day when I wake up that's something I can count on, that I'm going to be in practice or in a game with Cuttino. Him not being here is going to be tough for me. I don't know what I'm going to wake up for." - Stevie Franchise after his um, friend Cuttino Mobley was traded

"There's Fredo, there's Sonny and there's Michael. The Godfather handed it over to Michael. I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane." - Shaq

"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." - The Daddy

"To live like I ain't never lived before. If y'all see me in the news, and I make the news for something that I ain't got no business making it for, don't bash me. Say it was a young guy living." - Clinton Portis

"You didn't write a story about my Hall of Fame induction. You guys never report the good stuff that I do." - Albert Belle

"I despise cool. I've never seen one frickin' person who was cool who I liked." - Roy Williams

"I'm telling you, Darko is a Serbian gangster. Darko's got some bodies back there [in Serbia-Montenegro]. He can go psycho on guys." - Sheed

"The knee feels fine, I've been training Confuciously." - Tyson

"It was an accident. Montecore understood the signals and wanted to save me. It was unfortunate that his teeth hit my carotid artery." - Roy

"I guess you can never domesticate them. Like I'm not domesticated, I'm never gonna be a domesticated person." - Tyson on Montecore the Tiger

I may have smoked too much weed, but I wasn't taking drugs or anything." - Tyson

"I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test. I failed a drug test because I was ready to quit football." - Ricky Williams

"I make love to pressure." - Stephen Jackson

"I would rather die in an abandoned building, by myself and my family not know anything, than play for him." - Shannon Sharpe on Tom Coughlin

"This is it. It's for all the marbles. I'm sitting in the house loading up the pump, I'm loading up the Uzis, I've got a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher." - Kevin Garnett

"I didn't understand the DNA stuff at all. To me, it was just a waste of time. It was way out there and carried no weight with me." - A juror after the OJ Simpson trial. Wow. Just wow.