Professional athletes are just like us, in that they occasionally find creative, dumb ways to hurt themselves. They’ve picked up injuries stepping on cacti, celebrating a win, and trying to rescue pizzas. Today, we can add “trying to kick a door down after getting locked out” to this sad list.

Today in Norfolk, Va., a freakin' sophomore quarterback named Taylor Heinicke threw a football 79 times to lead Old Dominion past New Hampshire 64-61. His receivers caught 55 of those passes. Between Heinicke and those receivers, they moved the ball 730 yards via the air. That ridiculous number is a Division I record…