Forget "The route should be changed!" and "Roads and bridges first!" and "What's with this giant cement wall?" and even "But my taxes!"

Bob Ivers tops them all. The light rail line must be stopped because it will bring "trash" and "riff-raff" from the cities of Minneapolis, Detroit, and Chicago to Hopkins. And once they're there, they will shoot and kill the city's (white) sons and daughters.

Ivers is running for mayor of Hopkins, which is looking for a successor for Molly Cummings. It won't be Ivers -- who ran against Cummings in 2015 and got 71 votes (7 percent), or less than "Write-in" -- but for some reason, he insists.

As seen at a recent mayoral debate, Ivers has a delivery style that combines the worst elements of Jesse Ventura, Donald Trump, Archie Bunker, and the least likeable asshole taking up a stool at a suburban bar.

Any time a candidate for office stops himself mid-rant to say, "You listen, and you listen real close," feel free to tune out.

By that point in this jag, Ivers had already described the light rail as "nothing but a tube" (uh, sure) "that's going to bring riff-raff and trash" (uh-oh!) "from Minneapolis" (uh... what?) to his suburb. Here it is in full:

"It's another socialist yeah-yeah-yeah, um, um, um, ruination of a town. And this is what's going to happen, and everybody be forewarned, and you listen, and you listen real close. All the Chicago and Detroit riff-raff that's moved into 'Welfare-apolis,' they're going to get on that train. And you know where they're going to end up? They're going to end up down at the depot. And they're going to end up with yours, and yours, and yours granddaughters, and daughters, and grandsons. And I predict within two months of that coming through here, there's going to be a shooting down at that kid's depot. So everybody think about that."

Actually? Don't. Later in the same debate, Ivers reminded his audience that Hopkins is "90 percent white," with "10 percent coloreds" (!) "and Mexicans and Asians that are here." But, he warned his fellow candidates, if they build the "little yellow train that you're all bravo about, you're going to have all the ethnics you want."

How many "ethnics" do you suppose Bob Ivers wants in Hopkins?

According to a recent Star Tribune candidate profile, Ivers is "single, & retired." (Go get 'im, ladies!) He described himself as "experienced in promotions, music, & small business. I am also an inventor." Sounds legit. Why, just the other day he was promoting the idea of racial purity in Hopkins, and inventing the link between mass transit and the shooting deaths of the assorted granddaughters of Hopkins.