How to Play With Boobs…Nicely

Boobs. They’re the reason most men, myself included, get out of bed in the morning. Well, that and the smell of bacon. We all wish we could spend all day playing with them but coincidentally, most guys don’t understand some of the basics when it comes with boob play.

Take notes gentlemen, this is how you PROPERLY play with the fun bags:

Most men like to grab immediately at the first sight of a nice rack, but just like sticking a turkey in the oven, you need to preheat first. Boobs are sensitive and you don’t want to hurt your lady friend, so take your time and get her warmed up. What’s the rush anyway?

Boob massages are an overlooked part of any woman’s diet. Fellas, if you needed any other reason than just playing with boobs, breast massages are very stimulating to a woman. They even have a high orgasm potential if you know the right tricks. Who would’ve thought? Don’t expect to be Barry Bonds and hit a home-run with your first at-bat, though. Like all great things, it takes practice to be great with your hands, but once you’re great, the ladies will definitely appreciate it.

If you want to go the extra mile, it’s recommended to use oils during the massage. Plus with all the oil, it leaves room for other activities after the massage… Using pulling motions, gently massage a circle around her nipple, encompassing her whole breast. This isn’t like kneading bread, guys. It’s more like painting. So let your inner Bob Ross fly!

Also remember to take the process slow. You can do a figure-8 motion, massaging both her breasts at once. Like yin and yang, share the love with both boobs, being half-hard and half-soft with your hands. For nipple and areola stimulation, you can either circle around her areolas (different than a nipple, take notes,) or gently pull away from the nipple like you’re painting the rays of a sun.

If you ever need any help convincing a woman to let you play with her boobs, show your scientific side. There are toxins that build up in a woman’s breasts which are flushed out when you massage them.

You know what that means! It reduces the chance of breast cancer, so more healthy boobies all around!