“Sorry, You Caught Me in the Middle of Dramatically Listing Off Guerrilla Marketing Tactics.”

The Cooler: Your 10 Talking Points for Today

Here’s where we distill our expert Internet-consuming abilities into a concise list of 10 daily bons
mots for you to casually deploy into any conversation you feel could use some timely pop-culture insight.
It’s a service we call: The Cooler.

2. “I’m blasting Jefferson Airplane in the office today in honor of Paul Kantner. What? Well, Bill wouldn’t know a good rock band if Jimi Hendrix
came back from the dead and played a guitar solo right in front of his goddamn face.”

3. “Coffee sleeves. Vending machines. A tank filled with books. Sorry, you caught me in the middle of
dramatically listing off guerrilla marketing tactics people are adopting to promote reading literature.”

5. “Screaming teenage girls and pop music have a longer relationship than you might think. Unless you
think their relationship has been going on for the last 60 years. In which case, maybe we read the same
article.”

6. “Is a mockery of performance art still performance art? Will Cindy finally file those reports
today? These are the essential questions of our time.”

7. “You think you’ve got a lot of work to do for your Super Bowl party. I heard about this one guy who
had to cater a pre–Super Bowl party for 5,000 people. And some of them requested turtle steaks.”