Billed for Absence at Wedding

The day before the wedding of a childhood friend, I came down with the stomach flu, so I had to cancel. I did, however, mail the couple a gift worth $200. Three weeks after the ceremony, I received not a thank-you note, but a bill ($140) for the food and liquor my date and I would have consumed at the reception. Do I have to pay this?

No way! A few emergency cancellations are to be expected at any large social event, and hosts should be gracious enough to accept them without comment. This bride and groom seem to care more about the lost money than the loss of your company on their special day, which is unfortunate but not your problem.

Going forward, you have two options. You can call or write to your childhood chum expressing surprise at the bill. Try not to be judgmental and make sure you ask if she received your gift. Or, you can act as though their letter never arrived and continue your friendship with her as best you can. Chances are the situation will just blow over.