How to Love Yourself and Be Yourself | A Guide in Self-Compassion

Growing up, it can be difficult being yourself. You may find yourself just being who you think you should be, based on your peers, your family and their expectations of you, or other influences. It could take awhile to figure out who you are, and it could take even longer to love that person.

I’ve always been in touch with who I really am, and although I never intentionally pretended to be something different, I always wanted people to like me. So I would often find myself doing things I didn’t really want to do. There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new things, you might actually end up loving it and growing as a person, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel right to do that thing, or hang out with that person, and you have to be able to confidently decline and be okay with it.

I also find it difficult at times to love my flaws, but as I get older, it’s becoming easier to let go of all of that weight I was carrying by disliking things about myself or caring so much about how other people thought of me. You come to realize that time is precious, as cliché as it is, and the time you have should be spent caring about your wellbeing, your happiness, and the people in your life that care about you.

All the ways we can learn to be ourselves & love ourselves

MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU AMAZING. When we are having bad days, days where our self-esteem isn’t high, it can be hard to remember what makes us amazing. It’s far easier to be negative, as we are all our own worst critic, so taking time to sit down and really think & feel about all of the things that are great about you.

MEDITATION. Meditation has been key in self love and confidence. Breathe in positivity and breathe out negativity. Breathe in kind words and breathe out the negative ones. It’s so easy to be negative, and it becomes our natural way of thinking. It’s important to break those patterns.

LET YOURSELF BE ENOUGH FOR YOURSELF AND THOSE AROUND YOU. I was always trying to be what everyone needed me to be. It was something I took on myself, always wanting to please and never let anyone down. When I let go of that, I started to feel like myself again. Of course we always want to live up to everyone’s expectations, but that’s an insane amount of pressure to put on ourselves.

LET GO OF CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU. It’s important to put yourself first sometimes. It doesn’t mean your being selfish, by caring about your wellbeing over the superficial needs of others. Stop focusing on what others think about you and start focusing on what you think of yourself.

IN EVERYTHING YOU DO, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH & STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. I always do my best to speak from my heart and stand up for myself and the things that I believe in. If I don’t, I take it with me. I feel pangs of regret for not speaking up.

LET GO OF NEEDING TO BE PERFECT AND COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. We often find ourselves comparing our lives, appearances, and personalities to others, which is so damaging and toxic and does no one any good. Once you stop comparing, you will find that you are much happier and secure with yourself.