A Personal God

Growing up with a pretty comfortable life, I never felt the need for a God or a “higher being” to feel sufficient. I got curious when I was first introduced into Christianity through my primary education. The idea of God fascinated me. So I started going to church when my friends invited me to find out more about who this God is. I remember professing my belief in Christ not long after. However, I did not have a personal relationship with God, as I preferred the conservative idea of God as the powerful higher being, worthy to be worshipped. It was more logical for me to think that way: why would an all-powerful, mighty king want to have a personal relationship with a simple mortal like me?

When I was 18 years old, I moved to Singapore for my studies. At that time, I was still curious but did not really feel the urgent need for God, so I continued going to church, often to hang out with my friends. Life was great until one day; I felt I lost my primary support, mainly because I lived away from my family. I did not know who to lean on as I did not think anyone could understand the pain that I was going through.

I remember waking up on a Sunday morning, contemplating if I should go to church. I usually went for the sake of my friends, but most of them were away for semester break. However, I dragged myself to go anyway. I remember sitting in church with a heavy heart and thinking if I should go home because I was there physically but not mentally. I was sure that I was not important enough for God to care for me. Even if he did, I did not think he could miraculously remove the pain that I felt.

But I thought wrong. That day was special as the pastor introduced his friend from the States to preach. In the middle of the guest pastor’s preaching, he suddenly pointed at me and told me that he heard from God, and He had something to say to me. He said “I know you felt like you are alone in this lowest point of your life. But you are not. God wants you to know that He loves you, He cares for you, and He will never leave you. Even more so at this point of time.” I suddenly felt that I was surrounded by God’s immense love and felt great comfort and reassurance that I can go through this, together with Him if I choose to put my trust in Him. I was convicted! From then on, I truly believed that God wants a personal relationship with each of us if only we would put our trust in Him.

Deuteronomy 31:8, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”