Maybe when I'm famous this will be my autobiography.

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In a state of oblivion

Am I angry right now? Annoyed? Nope, I’m none of those things. In fact, I feel just a bit like nothingness. I’m in one of those weird states where everything seems like it’s either moving really fast or really slow… I’m writing this on my phone and, I have to say that, it kinda sucks. I have to double space on my phone and it’s weird. And then I’m thinking, fuck, should’ve just made the complete effort to use my laptop which is thirty centimetres away from me. Oh maybe one plus is that it autocorrects or autospells when I can’t be bothered figuring out how to spell a word.

You know what, when I’m marking shit at work and I’m writing a comment at the end, oh man. I have to refrain myself from using words such as incorporate or unnecessary because I’m scared I will spell them wrong. And damn it I’m marking English! I always think its encorporate, but obviously that’s wrong since it just got underlined in red.

So wassup y’all. I just wanna make doe so I can go out and see all my friends. Big ass sigh. Mates went out on Wednesday, last night and were going to tonight (me only for drinks, but no one out of my friends are going anymore).

Let me just say, I have no problem, I’m not angry or annoyed. And don’t think I am just because I stated that I wasn’t. But I do feel bad because it’s my friends birthday. But obviously not bad enough to just go. Am I a bad person? Anyway, some may go but they’ll be going out to da clubz after and I can’t go (once again cos no cab moolah, I want to use an emoticon where my eyes are waterfalls of tears but…I’m trying to be slightly intellectual here, okay?).

Okay, what I really wanted to say from the beginning of that paragraph: I really have experienced the utter awkwardness of going to a party, or a hangout, where you’re friends, but you’re not close friends. I went to this party and yeah, none of my close group of friends were invited (oh my god so popular) and it was okay, but really, it kind of ended up being awks. Okay, maybe you’re supposed to just not feel awkward and pose in pictures, imposing on other people’s close group of friends pictures… Anyway, at one point in the night, I seriously was saying the same damn things and basically clinging on to people, it was so embarrassing. Oh Lordy lord.

Now of course, this is a little different cos they were more apart of all our groups, but still, the same concept applies. Yesterday I spent ten dollars on just junk food, it makes me sad. Oh man, I’m such a broke ass bitch. Sitting here in my bed, at 3:30pm, in some fat ass winter or ski jacket, oh man… Also I can’t get Miley’s new song out of my head since I watched her live performances on YouTube. I forgot what an actually good singer she is, and live as well. To be honest, Selena Gomez sucks live, so I suppose she also kinda just isn’t that great at singing then.