Usman Afzaal

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Ashes are the pinnacle for English and Australian cricketers and for close to 130 years the oldest rivalry in sport has produced plenty of spellbinding matches. Some of the finest cricketers ever to play the game like Bradman, Hammond, Warne, Hobbs, Trumper and Botham have fought toe to toe for the little urn.

However, not everyone who has represented Australia and England in the ultimate sporting contest has been blessed with greatness; far from it in fact. Certainly, in the 30 or so years that this writer has been addicted to the fiercest of cricket battles, a number of duffers have donned the Baggy Green or Three Lions cap.

The names that follow are a mixture of the downright obscure, confused selection strategies and the odd surprising name that proved to be a complete Ashes flop.

So without further ado, here are the teams starting with England today and Australia tomorrow:

Mark Lathwell – Heralded as the next big thing, he was drafted into the team for two Tests in the 1993 series and promptly stank the place out. Disappeared as quickly as he had arrived and never got near England selection again.

John Stephenson – One of 29 players called on by England during the disastrous 1989 series, Stephenson played his only test at The Oval scoring 25 and 11. He never played another Test.

Paul Parker – Having secured the urn in 1981, the England selectors decided to experiment with Parker for the final Test at The Oval. He scored 13 in his solitary innings and it certainly proved unlucky for Parker who never received the call again.

Usman Afzaal – Like Samit Patel, fell victim to the selectors aversion to those carrying a few extra pounds, Afzaal admittedly didn’t impress too much in his three tests in the 2001 series - although he did score a fifty at The Oval.

James Whittaker – Another of England’s one cap wonders, the loyal Leicestershire batsman played his only test at Adelaide in 1986 in place of the injured Ian Botham. Unlike Beefy, Whittaker didn’t leave his mark on the Ashes, scoring 11 in his only knock.

Derek Pringle - Pringle was more of a no-rounder than an all-rounder when it came to the Ashes averaging 20 with the bat and 58 with the ball. This writer remembers him being part of the worst England attack ever at Headingley in 1989 – a past it Neil Foster, Phil Newport and Phil De Freitas.

Chris Read – Surprisingly, England haven’t really picked a duffer behind the stumps in the last 30 years. We opt for Read simply because by the time he was finally chosen for the last two tests of the 2006/07 series, his confidence had been shattered by being dropped in favour of Geraint Jones at the start of the ill-fated series. He hasn’t played for England since.

Robert Croft – English (or Welsh) spinners have hardly set the Ashes alight in recent times and Crofty didn’t even raise a spark taking 11 wickets at 52 in seven Ashes tests from 1997-2001. But he can bat, I hear you say. Not against Australia against whom he averaged 9.54. Made Peter Such and Eddie Hemmings look like world beaters in comparison. About as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house.

Jimmy Ormond – Like Afzaal, fell victim to Duncan Fletcher’s dislike of fat cricketers after playing one Ashes test at The Oval in 2001. The one for 115 probably didn’t help matters either. Ormond did leave a mark though with his infamous retort to Mark Waugh, who had welcomed Ormond to the crease "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England." Ormond replied "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family", prompting much hilarity from Junior’s team mates.

Martin McCague – From a list of useless England seamers including Paul Jarvis, Mark Ilott, Phil Newport and a certain Jonathan Agnew, McCague took the biscuit. Dubbed “the rat who joined the sinking ship” by the Australian press on account of his upbringing down under, McCague may well have been a double agent judging by his shocking performance at Brisbane in 1994.

Mike Smith – We played in a five-a-side tournament for Smith’s benefit and he relayed how he was treated like a stranger in the England dressing room and hardly spoken to when he was called up for the Headingley test in the 1997 series. Graeme Thorpe dropped Matt Elliott in Smith’s third over – Elliott scored 199 and Smith went wicketless in his only test. Falls into the unlucky rather than the downright rubbish category.

A version of this article first appeared in the third and final edition of Cricket Sadist in November 2010.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The successors to Ranjitsinhji and Duleepsinhji and the contemporaries of Nasser Hussain have for the most part not been dealt a good hand by the England selectors.

Monty Panesar was given plenty of opportunities before being usurped by Graeme Swann and Ajmal Shahzad may have made the cut for the World Cup.

Here is an XI of cricketers of Asian origin who have fallen by the wayside over the last decade or so. Some have been tried, found not to be good enough and discarded. Others have not helped themselves at times like the talented but unfit Samit Patel, but perhaps some could have been handled better by the selectors:

1. Vikram Solanki (Captain)– Indian born Solanki may have 51 ODI caps, but the selectors never seemed to fully trust this silky strokemaker and quite brilliant fielder. His 13 match streak in 2003, including a sparkling century against South Africa, was his longest consecutive stint in the side. Never got a Test opportunity, but perhaps should have.

2. Owais Shah – Finally nailed down a regular spot in the ODI side in 2007 after being jettisoned after 15 matches earlier in the decade. In his second coming, Shah averaged 35 in 53 matches and seemed set to be a fixture in the side for some time to come after a brilliant 98 against South Africa in the Champions Trophy of 2009. But question marks about his fielding, running between the wickets and propensity to be overwhelmed by nerves did for him in the end. All these failings were on show in his short six game Test career, which fell away after a promising 88 and 38 on debut against India.

3. Mark Ramprakash – The most talented English batsman of his generation fell foul of his own failings, but also those of the selectors who dropped him more times than Kamran Akmal let Mike Hussey off the hook in the Sydney Test of 2010. Ramprakash played his last Test in 2002 at the age of 32, but despite his astonishing consistency and mountain of runs for Surrey since, the selectors have resisted the temptation to recall him one more time.

4. Aftab Habib– A surprise pick during the 1999 home series with New Zealand, which England lost to slide to the bottom of the test rankings, Habib was here today and gone tomorrow with just 26 runs in his three innings and falls into the category of those that weren't good enough.

5. Usman Afzaal– One that fell victim to the selectors aversion to those of a more portly nature, Afzaal admittedly didn’t set the world alight with just 83 runs in three tests during the 2001 Ashes series - although he did score a classy fifty at The Oval. He didn’t impress in other ways too. The Aussies were non-plussed by his cockiness and the flashy sponsored car that he rocked up in for his debut.

6. Ravi Bopara– To be frank, it is amazing that Luke Wright is ahead in the pecking order, but the immensely talented Bopara has become used to life on the fringes since bombing in the 2009 Ashes series. Three successive hundreds against the West Indies convinced the selectors that Bopara was the man to bat at three against Australia, when it was obvious that five or six were more suited to him. In one day cricket, he can fill a multitude of roles as an opener, late order hitter, useful bowler and electric fielder. May get a second coming in Tests, thanks to Paul Collingwood’s retirement.

7. Samit Patel – Patel did well in his 11 ODI in 2008 and in our view is a better bowler and batsman than both Tredwell and Yardy. However, Patel has fallen foul of England’s dislike of lardy cricketers and to be fair given that he reportedly failed a fitness test before the final XV for the World Cup was chosen, he only has himself to blame. That said, maybe it is better to have someone in the side that eats pies, rather than bowls them.

8. Adil Rashid– Nothing excites selectors and fans alike as a world-class leg-spinner, and Rashid has the potential to be just that. Selected for the 2009 World T20, Rashid did reasonably well. Since then though he has been messed about - most famously when withdrawn after one expensive over in Alastair Cook's farcical debut as captain in a T20 match against South Africa in 2009. Suddenly the England hierarchy lost faith and Tredwell leapfrogged Rashid for the tour of Bangladesh - surely the ideal place to blood the young leg spinner. Time is on Rashid’s side however, as he is still only 22.

9. Kabir Ali– It is perplexing that Kabir wasn’t given more than the solitary Test after taken five wickets on debut against South Africa at Headingley in 2003. He also performed reasonably well in his 14 ODI, taking 20 wickets at a shade over 34. However, his economy rate was over six runs per over and the final straw came when he was smashed for 72 off just six overs by Jayasuriya and Tharanga in 2006.

10. Sajid Mahmood– He may be quick, but despite being a cousin of boxer Amir Khan, Mahmood invariably lacks the killer punch and can make Harmison and Mitchell Johnson look accurate – such is his waywardness at times. Like many on this list however, Mahmood was mistreated by the selectors. After impressing against Sri Lanka and Pakistan in the summer of 2006, he was promptly dropped for the Ashes series opener at Brisbane. When he was finally picked both form and confidence had gone and so was Mahmood just two tests later. He did make a brief limited overs comeback in South Africa in 2009, but his performances lacked the promise of his initial foray into international cricket.

11. Amjad Khan– Another of England’s one cap wonders, the Danish born Amjad played his only Test at Port-of-Spain in 2009 and took 1/122. A subsequent knee injury and loss of form means that others have leapfrogged him in the pecking order and barring a minor miracle, is unlikely to play for his adopted country again.

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