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Thursday, April 4, 2013

GAME OF THRONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I'm back! I've spent the last month traveling a fair amount to have a ton of sex with my friend (who, coincidentally, looks like Jon Snow) because I am a genius and have mastered what neither Ashton Kutcher or Justin Timberlake could. Also, I got into grad school! So I've been celebrating and not watching too much of the television. I'll be moving to LA in August to get a Masters in Cinema and Media Studies from UCLA, and until then I'll try to keep up with the ol' Hedgepig blog a little better because once school starts my writing will be heading in a whole other direction. I'll probably end up posting more since I'll be writing so much anyway, but who knows what'll happen. So stay tuned! Exciting changes ahead.

Speaking of things that are ahead...winter is coming! Winter is almost here! As everyone on the internet already knows, the third season of Game Of Thrones premiered on Sunday, and it was FUCKING AWESOME. Weirdly, for me (because I love A Song Of Ice And Fire with all of my heart and I love Peter Dinklage just as much. Holy shit he's so goddamn hot. I had a dream last night where I got to make out with him and YES JOEY YOU CAN HEAT UP YOUR COFFEE ON MY LOINS because they are ABLAZE.), I hadn't watched most of the second season until Sunday, when I luxuriated in a full-on GoT marathon after returning home from my spring break sexcation. And...dude. That show. It's just The Best! Like, I'm not sure how it could be better. Well, Lena Headly's eyebrows are horrible and SO distracting, but that's it. That's the only thing I'd change.

I'm a big stickler for adaptations remaining true to their books, but I also recognize that film is a different medium and so some changes are necessary. The Harry Potter movies (at least 1, 2, 5, and particularly 6) are a perfect example of movies that made tons of unnecessary changes with huge adverse impacts on plot and characterization (don't even get me started on Harry not being under Petrificus Totalis when Dumbledore dies because I will get angry and you'll be like, "Lauren, I agree with you, stop ranting" but I WON'T because it's The Stupidest Thing Ever and it completely destroys the meticulously constructed storyline UGH ok sorry I'm done now). However, Game Of Thrones pulls its adaptation off with greater skill and dexterity than even Lord Of The Rings. With George R. R. Martin involved with the show, he seems to be using it as an opportunity to expand on stories and characters that weren't completely fulfilled in the first two books (which he wrote almost 20 years ago). The episodes, for the most part, remain very true to the books, but when they diverge it never feels forced or constrained. Rather, the show allows new perspectives and reimaginings without razing what was already written.

What struck me as the most welcome of these when watching the second season was the story of Robb. In the books, each chapter focuses on a certain character...but Robb isn't one of them. We never really see his perspective, and at some point he goes off to Manderley or somewhere and meets some girl and knocks her up and marries her and then brings her back to Riverrun and pisses off his mom and the Freys. There are a whole lot of cascading consequences for his actions, but they're never really justified beyond, "the Freys are gross, I don't want to marry some random uggo". But in the show, we actually get to follow King Robb as he meets a hottie from Volantis tending the wounded on the battlefield, and they have philosophical discussions about war and fall in love and it all just makes so much more sense. Before I didn't care too much about Robb as a character because he was pretty flat, but providing him with some growth and motivation has a positive impact, not just on Robb, but on the rest of the GoT world.

Then there's Daenerys. Daenarys starts out in the earlier books being totally fascinating...but I'm rereading A Dance With Dragons right now and fuck, that shit in Meereen is SO BORING. She's so self-righteous but also fucking clueless and stupidly libidinous and it's just like, oh, ok, guess we're just gonna be in Meereen NOT training our dragons for a while. And yeah, it gets a little more exciting when the Dornish folk show up, but mostly it's just an expository snoozefest. It can't be THAT hard to get back to Westeros, dude! Anyway, on the show they changed a lot about what happened in Qarth, but I enjoyed the expansion of the Xaro Xhoan Daxos character and the showdown in the House Of The Undying was pretty badass. But what about the prophecy of betrayal? That is so key to her character that I'm sure it'll come up, but it was a little strange that it didn't. And moving on to season three and Astapor, I'm excited to see Barristan Selmy but saddened by the absence of Strong Belwas, because Strong Belwas makes me laugh. More eunuch comedy, please!

God, I could keep going on and on but I'll keep the rest of my thoughts shorter. The casting of Brienne and Margery are both perfect. I cannot wait for the Queen of Thorns and more of Brienne and Jaime's road trip through hell. Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie - also perfect. Arya's fucking amazing. Jon Snow! With the wildlings! Gonna get it on with Ygritte HELLA soon and that shit is gonna be STEAMY. Their chemistry is awesome. I wish we had seen Samwell kill an ice zombie, but I'm sure we'll get there. RIP Renly. I was excited for his kingsguard's rainbow cloaks, but realized they probably let that one go in favor of the blatant gay sex scene...it would've been a little hamfisted on screen, I must admit. Stannnnnnnisssssssss! Why you gotta be The Worst? And then there's Theon. It's hard for me to look at Theon without thinking about what happens to him - I think he's the character who most represents Martin's theme of the destructive and dehumanizing impact of war. It has dictated his life since he was a child sent to live with the Starks and wave after wave of war continues to crash down upon Theon, shaping and reshaping him to its grotesque whims. Um, that scene with Joffrey and the whores was SUPER intense - did not like. I DID like Joffrey being slapped in the face by my lovah again. That should happen at least once an episode

And finally....Blackwater. What a phenomenal hour of television. I had been waiting for that one and it lived up to all of the hype. Peter Dinklage isn't just The Sexiest, he's also a remarkable actor and he carried the tension and emotion of that episode on his shoulders effortlessly. And drunken Cersei, and Sansa and The Hound, and sadly misguided Davos...but that moment when Tyrion gives his speech and cries of "The Halfman! The Halfman!" rain down upon him is THE moment. It's a glory that I can feel in my gut, even when I know that it's all very quickly, very steeply downhill for him after that. Poor, poor Tyrion. He's so fucked.

So yeah. Game Of Thrones is amazing, duhdoy, and even beyond the story the show is visually stunning since they shoot on location all over the world and have such high production values. It really is just like a ten-hour movie. And with Mad Men premiering this week, Sundays are gonna be fucking zoppity for the next couple months.

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About Me

I watch a lot of television. I read a lot of books. I willfully make obscure references. I have opinions. I am awesome. To learn more about me and this blog, check out the first Hedgepig post, "Welcome To The Time Suck", from July 22nd, 2010.