But, if we're really going to discuss burgers, we can't leave out fast-food burgers. (Or can we?) Because honestly, fast-food burgers are what we eat the most. Now, I didn't technically fact-check that, nor should you, but I'm basing it on a really good source, who will remain nameless because I couldn't read her name tag. See, there was a slight snafu in my order at a McDonald's drive-thru the other day (Dr Pepper instead of Diet Coke), which was no big deal, but then the lady at the window apologized for being in such a hurry and offered this:

"We recently beat the record for 132 cars in one hour. The previous record was 130. But, we beat it by two cars."

She was proud. She should be. That's 2.2 cars per minute for those of you that are statically inclined.

So, in our full-court press on burgers, I've broken down five dollar-menu burgers. Besides, there are just some days (albeit few and far between) when the less shameful stars of my universe align and require a couple sharp left turns through the line for a large Diet Coke and a McDouble with cheese for $2.17, ordered and delivered in less than 30 seconds.

Wendy's

LDD

This Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe was basically served cold, which makes sense considering how long it took to get it. The square patty was thin and had holes in it, but what was most disconcerting was how the beef looked. It's probably best not to inspect fast food patties closely. Less is more. And someone needs to put that iceberg lettuce out of its misery.

I'm gonna add one and that is the Whataburger "Just a burger" for a buck. I can't get it any more at the one closest to me but they're still available at other locations. I'm surprised that you can get a large drink and burger for a little over $2.00 considering how much a small drink costs at other fast food places.

Wendy's used to have the best $1 burger with the Texas Double Cheeseburger.

Also, I spent a year living at college with a nearby BK that seemed to run a $1 Whopper special for the entirety of that year. That year had a number of days where the only thing I ate all day was a $1 Whopper that I bought with change I scrounged together.

off subject but just picked up the print Observer which gives a great shout out to Kergo.

and his recipes. however, it says he 'loves Dallas'...huh? i love Dallas have been reading this blog a long time, that guy hates Dallas. maybe some commenters here are right about proof read slippage since Wilonsky left.

On the road we get two dollar burgers without cheese. One for me, female, aging with cellulite and another for our 4 pound tiny toy poodle who can't eat a real breakfast because yes, she gets car sick. A little homeopathic nausea medicine before we leave and by lunch she has NOT puked and will eat an unadorned dollar hamburger sans bun, pickle and whatever with great enthusiasm. That will take her 1200 miles to Lake Michigan in Door County, Wi and back with a healthy supper each night on the road.

The McDouble and large drink for $2.17 is the best. That basic McDonalds cheeseburger takes me back to being a kid when that was all we ever got at McDonalds. Before the BigMac or Quarter Lber w/cheese. Love those dehydrated onions and that ketchup. I know it's "bad" but so what.

@TLS1 No, I was trying to compare relative apples to apples. See, "cheese sauce" is getting too fancy. There were to dollar bacon options as well. Was going for the most basic burger on the dollar menu. There's some science here, OK? ;)

I think Scotty was being sarcastic about my love of Dallas, but then yesterday I traveled to the deck park, the new bridge and observed foliage in Cedar Hill, and I changed my mind. I do like to bitch a lot! When I was growing up in Boston, I hated that......when I lived on Cape Cod I hated that place also...just, never satisfied I guess. Also, I was joking about Nana Kergo, she was an AWFUL COOK, and was of Irish descent. Just sayin'.

Thank you for the shout out Mr. Reitz!

ps-The only thing I love more than The Redsox and The Patriots, is eating and cooking. mmmmm, maybe hiking.

@Mervis loved the original cheeseburger, when I worked there at 16 I'd add bacon and eat 5 of them for dinner. Yeah I could get away with that back then, my metabolism was faster than usain bolt and I was all into sports. Id die in 2 weeks if I ate like that today

Sadly, I had none-and that is a first! Normally I'm poundin' them Buds-and about 14 beers in, in the blazing heat, I start to hallucinate, and thinking I'm the Hunter S. Thompson character in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas......but not Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail , where Edwin Muskie takes the Ibogain. No, the Fear and Loathing where HST "facilitates" the tanning process by pouring beer on his chest.

ps-Let's see iff'n I remember the greatest words ever written:

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the +++g's began to take hold, we had........."

Genius! Closely followed by HST's "monster steed with a fiery anus" from Hell's Angels, and White Rabbit Bathtub scenario from F and L.

RIP great HST! I want to be shot out of a cannon into the cool Colorado night one day.

@TurdFerguson@danielslauren Do you think they do that on purpose or just zone out? Thinking about it... I often get my card/cash and hand it to them the first time I get the receipt, to cut out that step. I won't let them leave, always say, "Here, take it now." Getting up to leave is another way to get their attention. Maybe 10 ways to avoid being held hostage. Something to ponder. Thanks.

@danielslauren Hey, here's an idea for you: biggest pet peeve when dining out. Mine is being held hostage after the meal. Happened yet again today. Business lunch, attentive waiter until the very end. Then he disappeared for 15 minutes while we waited to pay. Infuriating!

It's just a bit, like the Fake Scott(s) and 1000 Crazy Mini Evil Kergie's. Plus, it gets people fired up......the only thing that gets people more pissed off is my Walmart Fat Lady in a Looney Tunes tshirt, Smoking Oklahoma Vacationer, Mid Cities Denizen, the MMA Doucher, Econoline Lady in an Old Van in Decatur, Guy that threatens to whip his brothers ass if someone sh+ts in his tent, and "typical" Garland resident.