A half-finished whiskey bottle now shares space on the desk with the beer cans. Delany looks like absolute shit. Eyes glassy. As if half the teams in his league lost to MAC schools. Or worse - like Indiana could somehow sneak into the B1G title game. You know, like this:

Delany can barely dial. Has to do it four or five times to get it right. He hasn't been this fucked up since he tried to move the Michgian-Ohio State game to October. Finally he gets the number right as another tired voice greets him:

Yost: Good. Nebraska is now a pledge to the Big10. Next slide, please.

Mzoners: BOOOOOO!!

Yost: Just a minute! Just settle down! This is Maryland. They're a legacy from the ACC.Now wait a minute! Okay, this team is a real zero. That's true.

Think back to when you were admitted to the Big10. Michigan State, you were a drunk and stupid little shit, right?And Ohio State here. Everybody thought that the Buckeyes were brain damaged.I myself was so superior that I beat teams every single week for decades. So this team is a total loser? Well let me tell you the story of another loser.....

I lived in the Maryland suburbs of DC for 8 years. i had a boss who is a Maryland Alum and he and the Michigan guy(grew up in Ann Arbor, went to Wisconsin, worked for Penn State, for the love of God, pick one team) I used to work with trade weekly emails all season about football. Maryland will be a nice addition for basketball, but are not a great addition football wise. Small satdium even with added seats. And they were often pleading with folks to come to the games.

And don't even get me started about Rutgers. I know the argument is the DC, Baltimore and NY televion markets, but Rutgers does not draw big numbers in NY even when they were winning a few years ago.

Maryland may do a little better, but DC is a pro sports town (yes bad pro sports, but pro sports) and college is an afterthought. And a lot of folks were like me and came to the area with loyalties to other schools.

I just wodner who 15 and 16 will be because whenever I look at the B1G logo, I see how easy it will be to switch the G to a 6.

Looked at the stadium capacities for Maryland (54,000) and Rutgers (52,454.) Combined, and using the posted seating capacity, we would have to turn 4125 folks away. If we used whatever rules we used for Nebraksa this year we would only have to turn away 352 folks. You and PSU would have seats left over, 1047 and 828 respectively.

HA! I'm one of the 1% who actually support this expansion (live near Rutgers, so this means I'll actually be able to see a Michigan game once every few years or so), but this was still hilarious. Well done.

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