Mallard must already be horrified that Chantel's reading, period. You're just supposed to buy the book to boost the sales figures, thereby validating the author's opinion as expressed on TV and radio. Actual reading exposes one to new ideas and facts--which, as we all know, have a poisonous liberal bias.

We've seen what Mallard does with every moment of his free time...oh, wait, that's only because Tinsley himself is too lazy to draw him doing anything else.

Ah, more neocon fantasizing about the "good old days" when they were little children.

And yet again, Tinsley is years late in jumping on the hate-bandwagon. The book was released in 2005, for cripes sake! And the movie was last year. It's now at the completely ignorable phase of pop culture, unless you're obsessed with teenage girls.

I guess in Mallard's world "Twilight" is the only series of books about vampires available. I would also be willing to bet any amount of money that Tinsley has never read a single "Twilight" book. He's saying "eww" because someone's reading a book that wasn't written by Ann Coulter or Sarah Palin.

Yeah, there are in fact characters, but they've long since abandoned any traits outside of being cheap send-ups. For what it's worth, King Features has a character page with descriptions. It's actually quite disturbing, since despite Mallard's supposed interest in Chantel, he's not above stalking her or plotting to murder her.