personal and professional musings from a Jesus-loving, center-right chica navigating life and faith in the ELCA ("takin' this bound conscience thing out for a test drive")

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Worshiping at the Altar of S-E-X

So, I have this theory.

I have this theory that 21st-century Western culture (and
sadly, I include large portions of The Church) like the proverbial frog dropped
in not-quite-boiling water, now finds itself worshiping at the altar of
S-E-X.

We are a culture that will give up, sacrifice, or quit nearly everything in pursuit of what we
perceive to be the good.

We have quit eating “refined sugar” and “trans-fats” because
(with apologies to the author of Genesis) “if you eat of it, you will surely
die.”

We have sacrificed time, money and convenience for food that
is “locally grown, sustainably sourced, organic, fair-trade certified, etc…”

We sacrifice time with our family, self-contentment, and
relaxation for hours at the gym or in the tanning bed, hoping to achieve “the
perfect body”.

We sacrifice health and hours of sleep for better grades or
a promotion at work.

We sacrifice thousands of dollars for our kids to be in
competitive sports.

We sacrifice TV and alcohol and Facebook for Lent because,
somehow, we know that they just sort of…take over our lives.

But would you ever quit, give up, or sacrifice sex?

We have come to a place where the be-all and end-all of life
is “good sex”, and barring that, “bad sex”, or at least “safe sex”.

We know – know, for a fact – that sex causes pregnancy –
even when you “are careful”.We know –
know, for a fact – that sex can transmit diseases – even deadly diseases – even
when you “are careful”.

And yet, we cannot possibly imagine why anyone – anyone at all –
would choose to avoid sex.We believe,
as a culture, that giving up certain foods or patterns of behavior (couch
potato-ing or smoking or drinking to excess), that sacrificing time with spouse
or children or parents are all worth it because of “something” that is better
in the end – health, fitness, weight loss, grades, self-control, career
success, job security for local farmers, whatever… "something" is worth it.

But what would 21st century America say is “worth”
abstaining from sex?I would venture to
say that most Americans, indeed, most “Christians” would have no answer for
this.Instead, sex is one of the things
we give everything else up for.We will
sacrifice future relationships, our health, potential children, our dignity,
our time, and our money – if the sex is good.

Why is it that we will give up hot dogs for our health…but
we will sacrifice our health for an orgasm?Why is it that we will sacrifice time with our kids for a better job…but
we’ll sacrifice our job for a fling with the boss?

Why is it that we will sacrifice money for our children’s
success…but we’ll sacrifice our children’s lives for “safe sex”?

We have made sex our god – that which we fear, love, and
trust the most – and it has wreaked havoc on our souls, and on the gift of sex
itself.

It has wreaked havoc on our souls because idolatry always
does.We have “given up” churches that
encourage restraint of one’s sexual impulses.In fact, our churches have actively sought to discourage restraint – so that
“they” will like us more, but I suspect, also, to justify our own actions.

Even in churches where an administrative nod is given to “sex
in marriage only”, this is violated on a far more frequent basis than it is
adhered to, and everyone looks the other way.Sign on the dotted line here saying you won’t do this…but really no one
gives a damn if you do. And in doing so we have encouraged others to lie, only extending the sin further...

In our idolatrous worship of sex, we have walked away from
the One who gave us sex in the first place, the One who thinks sex is lovely
and beautiful and wonderful, from the One who wants us to open the gift and
enjoy it, but who wants us to play with it carefully, so it doesn’t get
broken, so we don't get broken.

Our idolatrous worship of sex has led pastors – preachers of
the Word and administrators of the Sacraments to fancy themselves as sex
therapists, “because sex is important.”Our idolatrous worship of sex has led congregations to see the
distribution of condoms in their local neighborhoods as “a mission project”.

Our idolatrous worship of sex has left no room for the
Author of sex to point out that sex is not the pinnacle of human existence, it
has left no room for the Author of sex to note the unfortunate consequences
that result from misuse of the gift, and it has left no room for the Author of
sex to offer forgiveness for our misuse of it…because we believe that
there can be no misuse.

Our idolatrous worship of sex has broken the relationship
between us and our Creator…as idolatry always does.And it has broken the gift of sex itself.

Sex no longer serves any higher purpose than base physical
pleasure.Thanks to latex, synthetic
hormones, and invasive copper wire (really?), we have stripped sex of its power
to give life.Thanks to one-night-stands
and “booty calls” and “pity sex” we have stripped sex of its capacity to
emotionally bond participants.Thanks to
STDs, we have shifted the consequences of sex away from “ripple effects of the
gift” to things we must protect ourselves from.

Idolatrous worship of sex has destroyed women.Oh, we think we’re free.Now that we’re out of those repressive
Victorian corsets and allowed to actually enjoy sex, now this here is
freedom.Except that our greatest,
most-close-to-divine power, the power to create and nurture life, must be
destroyed.Annihilated.Neutralized.We have freed ourselves to “enjoy sex like a man”, and in doing so, we have ensured
that we will serve only as “plug and play” for our “partners”.

Idolatrous worship of sex has destroyed our creativity, it
has destroyed our pursuit of a relationship for any reason other than physical,
sexual pleasure, it has all-but-guaranteed that there is nothing about us that
is sacred, special, or reserved.

I have come to believe – through my own personal experience
and through the experiences of friends – that if I decline to share my deepest
vulnerabilities with someone who will not first promise never to leave because
of them – that I will remain forever single, forever celibate.And that saddens me, because I long for
companionship, for a fellow-laborer, for sex, even, and for children.

But I will
not worship at the altar of S-E-X.I
will not exchange the truth for a lie.I
will not allow my almost-supernatural power to give and nurture life to be
suppressed for the convenience of men.I
will not be a plug-and-play device for people who do not respect me, or my
body, or my soul.I will not live as
though the source and summit of my life is sex, rather than the God who formed
me, and who redeemed me.

And I will fight, with every ounce of my being, the golden
calf.I cannot bear to hear young
children, teenagers, young adults, old adults be wrested by the culture into sacrificing
anything and everything in pursuit of sex.I cannot bear to hear of pastors who do not hear private confessions,
but will gladly hand out condoms.I
cannot bear to be mocked for my values, or pressured to break my promises, or
to risk a “series of unfortunate events” by people who claim to love me.My dignity and my self-worth are worth more
than an orgasm.And so are yours.

I don’t want to fight the culture war.I don’t want to wring my hands over “today’s
corrupt youth” or “the immorality of the times”, and frankly, I don't intend to.I’d rather not fight the spiritual war either, thank
you very much.But I believe it’s been
laid at my doorstep.Christians, let us
smash the idols and overturn the altars.Let us worship the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.Let us worship the God who died on a cross to
free us from the bondage of false gods.Let us worship the Author of Love, the Author of Sex, rather than sex
itself.

Thanks so much Elizabeth for this deep reflection on Western god of Sex. Please know that this is a Global god which afflicts people including those in Africa where I come from. And you're right we must worship God than idols of sex! Amen!

I am a big fan of all-things-prophetic, so naturally I have read Nostradamus. Your post reminded me of one of his prophecies -- Century IV-27 -- "Salon, Mansol, Tarascon, the arc of SEX: where the pyramid is still standing. They will come to deliver the Prince of Denmark, a shameful ransom to the temple of Artemis." You know -- shameful, temple, altar. Oh well.

I disagree with Mr. Picklesworth -- imagine the world without the Catholic Church! -- Glad things are going well for you.

Amen sister, beautifully said! I am sharing this is every venue I can get my hands on because it is absolutely fabulous and the best thing I've read on this topic in, well, forever. Keep writing and keep working on that bound conscience thing. It didn't work out so well for me- it got slammed and beaten right out of me. But that's a story for another day! Bless you!

I wish I knew where you lived. My son in Cleveland has the same views about relationships being about life commitment and partnering. Perhaps there are others like him who do not worship this 'god' and you will find each other someday. Blessings!

And so nice to hear this - well said! Especially the falsity of "plug and play" mentality. I so want women to demand not "live with me" but Marry Me if you want me - ALL of me - the ups and downs, the intimacy, the quirks, the laughter and the tears. Historically, it is the women who expect commitment who are the most stabilizing factor in society. Archaic? Prudish? maybe. But still true. And promise keeping is what separates humans from mere animal.

Your words touched my heart but I fear for me I'm at a loss to make any changes. The web is to thick and the burden even God himself would turn from so what now, do I even bother to try and turn things around? My thoughts and actions aren't holy but how I long for God. I can't find peace, I have tried but I am so tired and alone on this journey...the prodical daughter

Thanks for all the supportive and affirming comments - it's good to know I'm not alone in thinking and believing these things.

To gracenotes2: sadly, I don't live anywhere near Cleveland! :(

To the Prodigal Daughter : Oh, my dear. My heart breaks for you, because I can hear yours breaking even across the cold threads of the internet. I don't know you, and I wish I was right there with you to give you a hug and anoint you with oil, but I can assure you, I can absolutely 100% promise you, that there is no burden so great that God himself will turn away from it. The Bible says that Jesus literally went and preached to the spirits in Hell - so I figure there is NOTHING that is beyond his reach or his scope or his desire to heal.

The beauty of the prodigal son (or daughter) story is that, "*****while the daughter was still a long way off*****, her Father saw her and was filled with compassion for her; he ran to his daughter, threw his arms around her and kissed her!"

I know it seems like you are a "long way off", but your Father sees you, and is filled with compassion - not anger or judgment - and is running out to get you. I'm sure it feels like you are alone, but I promise, you are not. I am praying for you right now, dear.

In the meantime, cling to this promise: the word of forgiveness I write to you comes from God. Prodigal Daughter, in obedience to the command of our Lord Jesus Christ, I forgive you all your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

If you want to continue to talk, you can email me anytime at elcaconservative at gmail dot com.

About Me

I am a walking dialectic, so I suppose it's good that I'm a Lutheran. I'm into the Bible, geeky theology stuff, and staying up past my bedtime. I'm definitely "my own person" and I ask lots and lots of questions. I feel like I just wrote a personal ad.

Beautiful and Important

"The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross". ~ Colossians 1:15-20