We've previously suggested vegetable micro-surgery, tongue-holding, and soaking to keep you from looking like an emotional wreck when cutting onions. For an on-the-fly solution, though, you might consider chopping your onions on your stove.

We received an emailed tip from "The Douglas Brothers," who also signed off as "3 Ninjas," suggesting that moving your cutting board onto your stove and turning on your overhead vent, or your microwave ventilation fan, could help keep tears at bay. Making a Southern-style dish Sunday, I tried out the technique. I didn't feel anything resembling a tear come up, but then again, I'm somewhat averse to onion crying in general. So I handed the last bit of my mincing over to the wife, who also seemed to make it through one shallot and a big Vidalia without a tear.

Anything that keeps the onion's essential oils out of your sinuses seems to help, and having a stove fan whisk away the air above your cutting board would seem to work in a pinch. If you've had similar success, or can't stop your crying with any onions, commiserate in the comments.