I Promise You

“Promise?” She croaked out. Her voice was hoarse as she tried to choke back her tears. She hated this. She hated feeling so vulnerable in front of someone who was as good as a stranger.

He stared at her intensely for a while; deliberating and pondering over his response and then he said, “I promise you.”

A promise involves the voluntary giving of one’s word that, if and when a particular circumstance or situation occurs about, one will accept to do what was promised, no matter what.

Making a promise, in other words, implies a willingness to keep it. People commit to promises but never really think about what it actually means. Many people don’t even keep the promises they make.

Tell me, for how many times have you heard someone say that promises are meant to be broken? How many times have we had our hearts broken because someone didn’t keep his or her promise? How many times we still hope that there’s something, absolutely anything, left in the word ‘promise’?

The same thing was happening to her. What she felt she needed was a comforting blanket of words and promises to make her get through each day, slowly and one by one. But at the same time, when a promise has been broken it’s difficult to trust again. Even if it’s not the same person. You feel that each and every one you will trust in future will betray you just like the previous one did. That each and every one is there in the world only to hurt you, cause you pain and make you believe that the world is nothing but full of darkness that wants to suck the life out of you. All the things in the world become depressing and tragic making one see only the darkest hour one can ever possibly imagine.

Life is not full of sunshine and rainbows, she knew that. She knew that life had few thorns and thunder which would be the obstacles in her way. But being betrayed by her one and only, really diminishes all the pain she had felt before. All the pain of other things seemed to be so small in her eyes in regards to this one.

But she knew that someday someone was going to come into her life. Someday someone was going to show her the true colours of life, the colours of love and the colours of happiness. Someday someone was going to promise to be by her side no matter how many scars she had, both mental and physical, no matter how much broken she was, no matter how messed up her life was. Someday someone was going to be just there to love her and cherish her just the way she was. That day was long away, she knew that. But she could still bring some sort of happiness to her mind and some sort of peace in believing that particular thought. Being a writer, she took out her pain and struggles on the white pages of her diary. This time, too, she did the same.

To the person who believes in me,

They say love is blind. But I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms and working around them. It is recognising all the fears and insecurities of the other person, and knowing that your role is to comfort them. Love is working through all the challenges and tough times that life is going to throw at you. While infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect, love will remain strong and keep on strengthening because it’s real and true.

I can’t promise you that dark clouds will never hover over our lives or that the future will bring us many rainbows. I can’t promise you that tomorrow will be perfect or life will become easy after meeting me. I can’t promise that you won’t have to face any problems but I can promise that you won’t have to face them alone. But I can promise you my everlasting devotion, my loyalty, my respect and my unconditional love for a lifetime. I can promise that I will always be there for you, to listen to you when you need a ear, to hold your hand when you need my support, and I’ll always do my best to make you happy and feel loved always. I can promise that I will help you through your crisis and pray with you, dream with you, build with you, and always cheer you on and encourage you. I can promise that I’ll willingly be your protector, your advisor, your counsellor, your friend, your family, your everything.

I promise you.

Because I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe that we are only fated to do the things we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, I’d choose you and I’d promise you. I’d promise you the three things I know for sure I can fulfill: I would never hurt you in the ways that I’ve been hurt, I would love you in all the ways that I’ve never been loved and I promise to stay as long as you promise you won’t leave.

Love,

The girl who trusts you with her heart.

She closed the diary feeling a bit light. Writing down the thoughts always seemed to help her. She stared out of her window hoping that that someday and someone came soon into her life and everybody else’s so that they need not know the pain of loss, suffering and betrayal, like she has.