Drunk in a Ditch, and Proud to be an Officer from Belle Glade

It's 5 p.m. on a Tuesday. You're drunk, and trying mightily to push your car out of a water-filled ditch. Now, you have to explain to some cop that your day job is working at a prison?

Alas, this was the sad plight of Lisa Mae Hawkins, arrested this week on DUI charges near Fort Myers. According to the Naples Daily News, Hawkins, 48, made the mistake of telling the Lee County Sheriff's deputy who arrested her that she was an officer at the Glades Correctional Institution. That's the very same prison that recently made cheery headlines for becoming a "Faith and Character Based Institution." They probably don't look kindly on officers who get caught drunk in broad daylight, extracting their cars from ravines.

To add insult to injury, Hawkins had chewing tobacco in her mouth when the deputy tried to test her breath. According to the Daily News, she spit the wad at him "as if to say 'look what you missed.'"