All the way my Saviour leads meWhat have I to ask beside?Can I doubt His tender mercy,Who through life has been my Guide?Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,Here by faith in Him to dwell!For I know, whate’er befall me,Jesus doeth all things well;For I know, whate’er befall me,Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Saviour leads meCheers each winding path I tread,Gives me grace for every trial,Feeds me with the living Bread.Though my weary steps may falterAnd my soul athirst may be,Gushing from the Rock before me,Lo! A spring of joy I see;Gushing from the Rock before me,Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Saviour leads meO the fullness of His love!Perfect rest to me is promisedIn my Father’s house above.When my spirit, clothed immortal,Wings its flight to realms of dayThis my song through endless ages:Jesus led me all the way;This my song through endless ages:Jesus led me all the way.

hm. it can be pretty embarrassing to, so shortly after a grumpy grumbly entry, post a hymn in praise of God for Him having walked me through my life's trials and tribulations. i mean, the implication here seems to be, hey, mag needs comforting consolatory hymns and religion* in order for her to be able to cope with the minor stresses of life--i mean, hey, do you really think i need all that to bring me back to a stable state of mind? well, whatever you think, the answer is yes. turns out, perhaps to my own chagrin, i'm not invincible, as i might have hoped i would be--sometimes you need somebody to lean on, somebody to say, when things are looking so uncertain, "hey, it's alright, i'm in control." and who better, but Him? (err, well, He's the only God i know who says that all the time. umm, and actually, He's the only God i know.)

anyway, out of the blue during quiet time, this song came to mind. (i.e. i suddenly found myself humming the tune, and upon trying to fit by memory lyrics into it, managed to decipher the title.) it's strange in a way, since it's nowhere near my list of favourite hymns, though neither do i dislike it, but i just hardly ever think of it. and for it to be so applicable! (no doubt i had been praying about my cda test tomorrow, and could hardly talk about or think of anything else.) not that i had been all that stressed, but i was indeed very bothered that i might possibly do really badly and that people in class (esp. the prof.) will think i'm dumb and not capable of critical analysis.

i had had trouble from the start reconciling its principles with umm well my faith. (cda says that everything is ideologically charged; nothing is absolute. God says He's absolute; Jesus says He's the Way, the Truth and the Life.) (but then again, perhaps the two can be reconciled, i just didn't manage to do so due to my own very limited intelligence.) so that could explain my lack of commitment to the module, but still, i do recognise this can't be a legitimate basis for my plea to God asking Him to save me from flunking it! and of course, neither do i even deserve it--i gave up on my notes less than halfway through. but still, that didn't/doesn't stop me from asking. as i learnt from Job, if not Him, then who?? who else (higher) can i turn to but Him; even if He should not help, i still must ask!

back to the point, not that i was stressed, i was just bothered (alright, they mean the same thing). but now, i'm not anymore! (though i might very well be again, come 2pm.) see, i'm so unbothered 'til i'm even still up at 3+am typing this just so to let the world know. (of course, you could always attribute that to my usual lengthy-posts-when-i-don't-wanna-study entries... but keep in mind, i'd already given up on studying, so what's stopping me from going to sleep right now?) yes, i need God to "destress" me; i need a christian hymn like the above to calm my nerves. it's pretty unexplainable, but upon "Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who through life has been my Guide?", i am suddenly inexplicably convinced that surely God is listening, has heard, surely this is a form of His answer, and surely He is real! (funny, but my life is spent struggling with the real/unreal issue.) because of the realisation of His presence, all fear is gone... in the words of another hymn, "because i know, i know, He holds tomorrow; life is worth the living, just because He lives". yayyee!

i have no idea what's gonna happen tomorrow. (though i sure can anticipate the relief at the end of it!) Psalms tells me to, in the morning, lay my requests before Him and wait in expectation. Lamentations says that "The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." man, do i hope and pray that He will be kind and gracious and merciful as always, and answer, despite my undeserving nature!!

*not so much a 'religion' in the sense of the word as known in society today; but reliance, dependence, on the belief of a higher (highest, actually) being and a relationship with one.