First Prayers

I knew from the time I was a little girl that there is a God and I knew about Jesus. The way I thought about them then was that God was the boss and Jesus was the nice guy I could talk to. Yes, I could talk to Jesus but He didn’t talk to me. He just took care of things without giving me the details and that was fine with me.

As a teenager, I pretty much ignored them both. Oh, occasionally there was the rushed prayer request that I doubted would be answered the way I wanted and that made me angry. My prayers were all about me and I felt like I was just talking to myself.

Life went on and I knew something was missing. One morning while sitting in my living room depressed and lonely I prayed. A real prayer. It was sort of “Hey, God, it’s me and I am miserable and I don’t know what to do. All I do know is that what I am doing isn’t working so I am going to try your way, but I don’t what that way is or what to do. So, please help me.” There was no bolt of lightening or angel’s singing or a voice like in the movies with music in the background. The day just went on like any other day.

The thing is that was probably the first real prayer I ever uttered. It felt different…I felt different. I wasn’t instantaneously changed I was still sinking in my sin, but it seemed like maybe I wasn’t going to drown. Maybe I was going to get out of the muck and start walking. Walk where I didn’t know but it felt good to have some solid ground under my feet. I also didn’t know how long the walk would be or how rocky and sometimes slippery the path would be which is a good thing. My spiritual muscles were weak!

That morning in my living room was the beginning of my talking with Jesus and I haven’t stopped for forty years. We have a good and gracious God who hears the prayers of all who are afraid, lonely and lost. He not only hears, He talks in whatever language or vernacular needed to communicate with the one praying.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.Ro 8:26