I am an evil giraffe. But I'm trying, Nick. I'm trying REAL HARD to be the wizard.

Excuse me: the Obamacare graphic novel. What’s the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel? The same difference as the one between dolls and action figures, but never mind that right now. What’s important is that there’s somebody out there who feels that the ideas behind a 2,400 page monstrosity of a health bill that nobody understands and even its defenders secretly hate can be explained by literally drawing some pictures:

Jonathan Gruber, a nationally recognized health economist who devised the economic underpinnings of Obamacare (Gruber hates the term), said his three comic-loving kids encouraged him to use the hip format of the graphic novel — basically an expensive comic published in book form — to tell the story of the complicated plan to 300 million Americans.

So, how can that paragraph trigger snark? Let me count the ways. First off – and this is the cheapest shot – ‘nationally recognized health economist’ is more or less an oxymoron; but then, so is ‘economic underpinnings of Obamacare,’ given that the actual effect of Obamacare on the economy should be roughly similar to that of an atom of hydrogen encountering one of anti-hydrogen*. Second, I certainly hope that the people behind Obamacare are getting tired of hearing it being called Obamacare; the entire idea was to use the aforementioned monstrosity to drag down the President, and vice versa. Besides, it’s not my fault that President Obama didn’t read the bill before he took title to it. Third: it is nice to know that, even in these days where it seems that broken families are the rule and not the exception, it’s nice to see some kids so secure in the love from their father that they’d be comfortable with playing such an epic practical joke on the old man.

And, lastly: 300 million? I don’t know how to break this to Dr. Gruber… but if graphic novels can’t get that kind of market saturation when they show lovingly-drawn pictures of comic book superheroines… I somehow expect that your particular barbaric yawp on the virtues of an incomprehensible health care monstrosity is going to sell that well.