So You Think Swearing is Cute?

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Just a few weeks ago, we took the kids to an amusement park. While waiting for them to finish their ride, I watched the following scene unfold next to me.

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A mother and father held their toddler, talking to friends and laughing.

“Listen to this…this is hilarious. Johnny, what do you say when you spill your milk?

“!#@*” shouts the boy, beaming. Everyone laughs uproariously. The boy’s grin widens when he realizes he’s done something funny. “!#@*” he yells again smiling with pride at a job well done. The adults laugh again, with coos of, “Oh, that’s so cute!”

!#@*…!#@*…!#@*, sings the boy and I’m grimacing because hearing that word come out of a tiny child is sending pin pricks up my spine.

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Fast forward to just yesterday, when my five-year-old came home from Kindergarten, his eyes shining with the excitement of learning. We sat down criss-cross-applesauce and I Oohed and Ahhed as he told me a five-year-old’s Spark Notes version of his day. And then…

“Mom, what does *%@! mean?”

“What?” not sure I heard him correctly because of a slight speech difficulty.

“What does *%@! mean?” Oh yes, I heard him correctly.

“Where did you hear that buddy?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“So-and-so at school said it and the teacher said we don’t say *%@! in the classroom.”

Again, pin pricks up my spine.

Is Swearing Cute?

To parents of small, impressionable children…are swear words coming out of their tiny mouths cute? Do a YouTube search and you’ll find plenty of videos like “Funny Kid Swearing” with comments like “Aww, this is so cute.” I have an incredibly difficult time finding the humor in it. To think of my babies, being placed in my arms as pure as freshly fallen snow, growing up with only thoughts of butterflies and bumblebees on their minds…to think of such ugly words coming out of their mouths makes me all sorts of sad.

Sounding presumptuous or holier-than-thou is completely not my intention—I’m simply offering one point of view. I grew up in a household that didn’t swear. I have never heard my father swear. Not even when he dropped a log on his foot (He did yell “Pig-dog!” though.) My mom never spoke a profane word to my knowledge. Now that I think about it, even being incredibly close to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and about 3 dozen cousins…no one really swore. It just wasn’t part of my upbringing.

Have I ever swore? Of course. No one is perfect. When I drop a butterknife on my big toe, you better believe I’m screaming something profane in my head. But if the kids are around…I close my mouth and let that word implode with only air sqeaking out like a deflating balloon. Maybe I should give “PIG-DOG!” a try.

It makes me curious…how common is swearing in the averaged household? Do you swear in your home? Do you allow your kids to swear?

Let Them Be Innocent

I remember in grade school the first person who taught me how to flip the bird. How can this be bad? I thought, It’s just a finger. Kids are so innocent that their minds cannot comprehend profanity. There is no line partitioning good and bad.

If I may offer one point of view, or perchance one wish: let them be innocent for as long as possible. Please let them be pure, with thoughts of daisies and dump trucks on their mind. The world’s influence will creep in soon enough. It’s much cuter to see a child beaming with pride because they just did a somersault for the first time than because they spoke a profane word they don’t understand.

As a high school teacher, I heard it all. I saw it all, written on a desktop. The funny thing was, the kids getting scholarships and Ivy League acceptance letters at the end of the year weren’t the ones spewing profanities or drawing phallic symbols on desks.

Swearing is not the worst thing in the world. Your kid will not be doomed to a cell with a tattooed bunkmate named Machete Mike. On the other hand, I’ve never heard any president of the United States utter a swear word in a speeches, nor a medical professional let loose a string of curse words. And I can’t fathom Mother Theresa cursing like a sailor.

Kids will mimic what they see. From TV, movies, other kids, and especially mom and dad. Parents, we’re not perfect…dang, not even close. But if we can control what we say and how we say it, then maybe we can make a big difference in what our kids become.

So the next time you jam your finger, or milk cascades over the countertops, think about giving “Pig-Dog!” a try…it’s kind of satisfying.

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About Nicolette

Is a freelance writer with a Bachelors degree in English from Utah State University. She is a full-time mom of four and loves the outdoors, being active, reading, writing, and observing the world from a unique perspective. You can follow her on Instagram at @nicmckinlay.

Comments

Wow, I could agree more.. I just don’t get the kids swearing thing, I understand kids pick things up but you don’t encourage it. My daughter is almost 4 and while my husband and I never swore very much to begin with, we have purposely not used bad language in front of her. We aren’t perfect parents but teaching her the correct manners is important to us. I am sure when she starts school we will hear all sorts but we want to teach her the right way to be heard.

I wholeheartedly agree! I’m also rather disgusted over the viral videos of kids throwing tantrums or misbehaving. Yes, sometimes their antics are funny… but what is it teaching the child? They get a ton of attention for their behavior, sometimes even featured on the news, then the focus shifts elsewhere….and they act out even more to draw it back to them. Meanwhile, other kids seeing these videos try to top it so THEY can become YouTube sensations.

It really makes you wonder what the world is going to be like 20 years from now.

I 100% agree with you! I cringe when I hear adults use profanity around my kids. They don’t need to hear it and they definitely don’t need to say it. Of all the words available in the English language- surely as adults we can choose more appropriate words to use… Especially in front of little innocent ears.

I don’t find kids swearing to be funny at all. I was raised in a non-swearing family. My husband doesn’t swear much but I do every once in awhile. I’m very selective in my words and typically will only use them to make a point and when the kids aren’t around. But I have a very nosy daughter who has heard me and I’m sure my son has, also. So, I have talked to my kids. They know those words aren’t nice words. They know they are not appropriate to say around other kids or adults. But I don’t want them thinking they will be severely punished if they say them. (Side note – we had a neighbor boy that had his mouth washed out with soap – he actually ended up eating the soap – because he was caught swearing!) I let them know what the words are used for and haven’t outright banned them. We can only see what happens in time, but I think taking the forbidden aspect away from the words makes them much less appealing.

Nicole you are absolutely correct. It is anything but cute! My parents did not swear but I had an older brother that certainly educated me with teenage terminology that I certainly could have done without. My husband and I did not ever swear around our children but as you say they will hear it outside of the home and on TV and in movies. I would really love to ask Hollywood, “what the attraction with the “F” word is?” It seems they can’t make a movie unless they can get that in 2 or 3 hundred times! It’s disgusting! Even the children’s movies have questionable scenes and verbiage. You almost have to see if first before you can take your kids or in my case grandchildren. I am with you I say zip! … it and if you can’t, stay away from the children! My Dad would say prittle prattle fluffy duff when he got mad. There was no bigger man, nor better Father but he embraced the the theory that kids should get to be kids for as long as they can because your a grown-up for a very long time. He was also a very wise man and I miss him every day since he left this earthly world but that’s a whole nother story!

I was raised in an environment where swearing was second nature. Where swear words were used as verbs, adjectives, nouns, the whole works! As a kid I knew it was bad, and to this day I do as well. I personally swear, but not around my son and I have no intention of allowing him to swear. It’s actually strange to not hear people swear as I was so used to it. But your past doesn’t predict your future and I won’t let my past influence my sons present. It’s much cuter hearing his views of the world in the world’s of a toddler rather than the ones of an adult.

I’m so glad to read an article with this point of view. I’m a grandmother. I was raised by parents who didn’t: swear; nor did other family members. But my daughter and son-in-law swear like it’s nothing. I hate hearing children pick that up, and use words that they don’t understand. I get tired of heating adults talk that way. Swear words no longer have any shock value, when used so commonly,which is what many of us mean when we use them. But there is something so sick and wrong about hearing a young child use them!

This is a big pet peeve of mine as well. I don’t find it cute in anyway. In my house I don’t swear and my husband trys really hard not to. I try to shelter my kids when at home because as soon as you send them on the bus or to school they will hear those words like it or not, but at home it should be a safe haven from the vularities of the outside world.

I’m sorry, but I have to admit that I see no problem with letting my kids swear! I have 3 preteen daughters (ages 11, 10, and 8) and they have grown up hearing swearing at home pretty regularly. And yes, they have grown up being allowed to use such words in their conversation. BUT they have been taught when, where, and in what contexts they are allowed to say such things. For example, at home, pretty much always, except in hurtful or mean ways. Racist terms are never allowed. At school they must exercise restraint. Same at grandparents’ house. Plus, there is a major difference between “conversational swearing” (permitted) vs. “confrontational swearing” (not permitted). And, yes, I have always thought “conversational swearing” by kids is very cute. I have no regrets for allowing my girls to swear as children and I never will.

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