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Saturday, August 3, 2013

10 Things Flight Attendants Wish They Could Say

10 Things Flight Attendants Wish They Could Say But Can't.How rude passengers and their strange requests and poor behavior get on their nerves.by Kelsy Chauvin, Frommer's, April 3, 2013There's no doubt that being a flight attendant requires more patience than most jobs. Imagine coping with hundreds of passengers at a time, each one convinced that his or her needs are the most important. Demands can be wacky, unreasonable or outrageous, while the smallest of slights (or perceived slights) can spark fiery tantrums. Amid all the craziness, flight attendants serve as calm mediators with the forbearance of saints. Most of the time, anyway.Remember the famous incident on that Pittsburgh-New York JetBlue flight back in 2010? As the plane was pulling into its terminal, flight attendant Steven Slater claimed that a belligerent passenger hit him with her suitcase while pulling it prematurely from the overhead bin. Slater snapped, announcing over the PA system, "I've been in this business 28 years, and I've had it!" Then he grabbed two beers, exited via the emergency-evacuation slide and was soon taken into custody.Sometimes, even the most professional and courteous flight attendant can barely bite his or her own tongue. We asked two veterans to share the things they'd love to tell passengers … if only they could.Flight attendants often have to bite their tongue when dealing with rude airline passengers. 1. "Your shoes are so cute, but they would smell better on your feet."Tracy Christoph, a seasoned, Boston-based JetBlue flight attendant and travel blogger, notes that an airplane is no place for olfactory assaults.2. "We love your child, but would appreciate if he didn't use the flight-attendant call button to compose the next great symphony."Before you take a nap and let Junior play freely, remember that someone like Christoph has to deal with the noise.3. "You know, you do have the opportunity to select your seat in advance." Not all airlines allow passengers to choose their seats before flights, but many do. A flight attendant who began her career 25 years ago with Pan Am and wants to remain anonymous (we'll call her Pam) is baffled when tall people stuck in the middle seat beg for an aisle only after they're on the packed airplane.4. "We know our comfy leather seats and individual TVs make you feel like you're on your couch, but we have some great hotel partners for those more intimate moments with your loved one." Sure, travel is romantic, but there are far better — and more private — places for getting frisky.5. "Why are you asking me that now?"It might be a request for a drink two minutes before takeoff or for the vegetarian option during meal service, but attendants get frustrated when passengers have bad timing or resist planning ahead.6. "You can't fit a 10-pound bologna in a 5-pound bag. Let me gate-check that for you." It never fails: Someone's always trying to slip a little more luggage onto the plane.7. "What was it like being raised by wolves?"Pam says her parents always taught her to make requests with a "please" and respond with a "thank you." But for some reason, too many passengers seem to check their manners at the gate.8. "Compassion goes a long way."All too often, a childless passenger ends up seated next to a parent with an upset, fidgety baby on a fully booked airplane. When Pam hears, "Can't somebody shut that kid up?" she often wants to hand the child to the complainer and relocate the parent to first class with a tray full of drinks.9. "So you're mad because someone's asked you to do your job?"Pam admits that sometimes it's her fellow flight attendants who frustrate her, returning in a huff to the galley to complain about having to serve someone yet another Coke.10. "I'll be right back." OK, this one is really spoken out loud. But Pam says this is a flight attendant code phrase for something a little more, let's say, expressive — usually in response to an overly demanding, absurd or downright rude passenger request.

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Hillary Rodham Clinton - 67th United States Secretary of State, assumed office in january of 2009. Was a United States Senator from New York from January 2001 - January 2009. She was First Lady of the United States from January 1993 until January 2001. She was also the First lady of Arkansas from January 1983 - December 1992. Born Hillary Diane Rodham on October 26, 1947.

Rachel Anne Maddow - Received her B.A. from Stanford University and her Doctorate from the University of Oxford. She is an American television host, political commentator, and author. She hosts a nightly television show, The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC. Born April 1, 1973.

Gloria Marie Steinem - is an American feminist, journalist, and social and political activist who became nationally recognized as a leader of, and media spokeswoman for, the women's liberation movement in the late 1960s and 1970s. Born March 25, 1934.

John Muir - Engineer, naturalist, writer, botanist, geologist. Early advocate of preservation of wilderness in the United States. April 21, 1838 - December 24, 1914

Peter Albert David Singer - Professor of Bio Ethics and Analytic Philosophy at Princeton University. Born July 6, 1946.

William James, born January 11, 1842 - August 26, 1910. A pioneering American psychologist and philosopher who was trained as a phusician.

Judith Viorst, born Feruary 2, 1931, and is an American author, newspaper journalist and psychoanalysis researcher. She is perhaps best know for her children's literature and her New York Times Bestseller, Necessary Losses.

Virginia Woolf (January 25, 1882 - March 28,1941). An English writer, regarded as one of the foremost modernist literary figures of the twentieth century.

J. K. Rowling, July 31, 1965. A British novelist, best know as the author of the Harry Potter fantasy series. Her books have sold over 400 million copies. Rowling has led a "rags to riches" life story. She was named "Most Influential Woman in Britian' by leading magazine editors. She is also a notable philanthropist.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, March 6, 1806 - June 29, 1861 was one of the most prominent poets of the Vicotrian era. Her poetry was widely popular in both England and the United States during her lifetime. She was married to Robert Browning . She is especially remember for her, Sonnets From the Portuguese, 1845.

James Allen - (November 28, 1864 - 1912) was a British philosophical writer known for his inspirational books and poetry and as a pioneer of the self-help movement. His best known work, AS a Man Thinketh, has been in pubication since 1903.

Rumi (September 30, 1207 - December 17, 1273) was a 13th- century Persian. A Muslim poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic. Rumi's improtance is considered to transcend national and ethnic borders. In 2007, he was described as the "most popular poet in America."

Wayne Dyer - (born May 10, 1940) is an American self-help advocate, author, and lecturer.

Ivan Pavlov - Behavioral Psychology

Abraham Maslow - (April 1, 1908 - June 8, 1970) was an American professor of psychology at Brandeis University, Brooklyn College, New School for Social Research and Columbia University who created maslow's hierarchy of needs. He stresse the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in people, as opposed to threating them as a 'bag of symptoms'. Father of Humanistic Psychology

Emily Dickinson - (December 10, 1830 - May 15, 1886). She was an American born poet, who lived a mostly introverted and reclusive life.

Viktor E. Frankl - (March 26, 1905 - September 2, 1997) An Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor. His best-selling book, Man's Search for Meaning (published under a different title in 1959: From Death-Camp to Existentialism.

Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson - born March 28, 1941 as Jeffrey Lloyd Massom. He is an American author who has written about animal rights, but is best known for his conslusions about Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD - (July 8, 1926 - August 24, 2004) was a Swiss American psychiatrist, a pioneer in Near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book, On Death and Dying (1969).

Saint Augustine - also known as Augustine of Hippo (November 13, 354 - August 28, 430. He was a Latin philospher and theologian from Roman Aftica. His writings were very influential in the development of Western Christianity.

John Milton - (December 9, 1608 - November 8, 1674). He was an English poet who engaged in the art of controversy, a scholarly man of letters, and a civil servant for the Commonwealth (republic) of England under Oliver Cromwell. He was best known for his epic poem, Paradise Lost, 1667. His poetry and prose reflect his deep personal convictions, a passion for freedom and self determination. He lived and wrote during a time of religious flux and political upheaval in England.

Henry David Thoreau - (July 12, 1817 - May 6, 1862). He was an American author, poet, philosopher, naturalist, and leading transcendentalist. He is best known for his book, Walden.

Ralph Waldo Emerson - (May 25, 1803 - April 27, 1882). He was an American essayist, lecturer, and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the Mid-19th Century. He was seen as a champion of individualism.

Antoine de Saint - Exupery - June 29, 1900 - July 31, 1944. Aristocrat French writer, poet and pioneering aviator. He became a laureate of several of France's highest literary awards.

Epictetus - Greek sage and Stoic philosopher. AD 55 - AD 135. Born as a slave (present day Turkey, lived in Rome until banishment when he went to Greece were he lived the remainder of his life.

Wayne Pacelle - born August 4, 1965 - President and Chief Executive Officer of the Humane Society of the United States - Nation's largest Animal Advocay Organization.