ARPA Defends Dennis Hastert Cover-up

WASHINGTON (AP) - The American Republican Pervert Association (ARPA) has come out strongly defending the cover-up by House of Representatives Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., of predatory, "creepy" and sexually explicit emails to underage House pages by Representative Mark Foley since at least 2001.

In a press release issued on Tuesday, ARPA said, "We of ARPA who represent the Republican perverts of America defend the unnatural sexual activities of Mark Foley and Dennis Hastert. ARPA represents sexual predators, pedophiles and other perverts, and has long supported the Administration of President George W. Bush and of perverted American Republicans everywhere."

After the ringing ARPA endorsement of Hastert and Bush, the secretive Republican National Pervert Committee (RNPC) chaired by Carl Rover also endorsed Hastert, Foley and Bush.

"America wouldn't have been able to start two illegal, deceitful and immoral wars in Afghanistan and Iraq without the support of America's Republican and other patriotic perverts," said Rover in an interview.

"Like the ARPA, the RNPC supports wars to steal and grab oil from Islamic nations like Iraq in order to keep us consuming energy like total hogs. Oink! These wars also boost the profits of Exxon Mobil and Chevron Texaco and of other sleazebag Republican corporations like Halliburton…corporations like these are utterly vital to funding the Republican Party, and have determined the Bush policy of denying global warming which furthers the interests of Israel and Saudi Arabia."

"At the same time, we endorse the other policies of the Bush Administration that make the rich richer, and which are killing off the middle class, and causing a real estate crash which is bankrupting millions. These policies also increase man-made global warming that is causing unending droughts, crop failures, water shortages, diseases, hurricanes and tornadoes and other catastrophes, and massive amounts of human misery and death worldwide," he continued. "Here, here!"

Meanwhile, Hastert has again blamed his staff aides for covering up Foley's emails and misconduct. His statement was issued as more material emerges that his office has hidden a huge amount of evidence of the sexual irregularities of Foley and of even Hastert himself.

Yet Foley, Hastert and the Bush Administration have received further weighty endorsements and support from other quarters.

The Association of Southern Baptist Republican Perverts (ASBRP) has issued an endorsement of the activities of senior Republican perverts and the Bush Administration generally, as has the American Israel Public Affairs Pervert Committee (AIPAPC).

"By encouraging America's Congressional perverts and blackmailing them, AIPAPC is able to get the USA to donate billion of dollars annually to Israel which allows that country to continue to oppress and murder Palestinians and to steal their land. The entire history of Israel is based on the theft of land that has historically belonged to Palestinians, and on the massive separation of millions of Palestinians from their land, and pushing them into refugee camps."

Others with similar endorsements include the Congressional Republican Pervert Glee Club (CRPCG) and the American Petroleum Pervert Association (APPA).

Bush showed his gratitude for the overwhelming endorsements.

"Without the support of these all-American perverts, my Administration would never have been able to even get off the ground, nor would I have been able to orchestrate 911, or the so-called fictitious "War on Terror," or steal two national elections," enthused Bush. "I thank them one and all for helping me form the most dishonest, deceitful, corrupt and unnatural Administration in American history as I preside over the lowering of living standards and wages throughout the USA, except for my billionaire buddies."

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