Wedding Etiquette: The Dos + Don’ts of Using a Plus One

Spring has finally sprung and wedding season is officially upon us! While celebrating the eternal love of your close friends and family is wonderful, this time of year can also bring some stress over the elusive “plus-one” — will you get one, or won’t you? A magical unicorn of a wedding invite, everyone from single ladies to coupled-up romantics vie for it. For those times when your invite comes addressed with a “+ Guest,” we’re sharing a few guidelines so you can use your extra invite respectfully.

Wedding Plus One Don’ts

Substitute a Different Guest for a Plus One: For example, if you were in a long-term relationship when the invitation was sent, your significant other’s name was written on it, but you are no longer together, it doesn’t mean you can just bring another guest. Call the bride and groom and let them know you are no longer dating, but assume that you will not be extended another plus one. Instead, take a cue from Queen Bey and hit the wedding like a proud single lady.

Feel Obligated to Bring a Date: Don’t bring a guest just for the sake of bringing one. You want to attend this celebration of love with someone who can truly appreciate it. Proper etiquette tells us that you shouldn’t use a plus one unless it’s for a significant other, but if you’re really looking to bring a guest, make a wise decision — pick someone you know well, who can be polite and respectful throughout the ceremony and subsequent festivities.

Upstage the Bride and Groom: Attending a wedding with your significant other might intensify your feelings of love and adoration, but it’s not the time to act on them. Popping the question, announcing that you’re expecting or even sharing other big, life-changing news are all big no-nos on someone else’s all-important day. Your news will be even more exciting a few days later, when people feel comfortable celebrating you.

Wedding Plus One Dos

Keep Your Relationship Status in Mind: Plus ones are often only given to guests who have a longtime committed partner, those whom the bride and groom aren’t sure about their relationship status (think family members who live out of town) or guests who likely won’t know a single soul. Stay realistic before the invite appears in the mailbox to avoid disappointment, and if you don’t receive a plus one, do not ask the bride and groom to bring a guest. It’s best to accept your invitation for what it is, and move forward.

Scope Out Who Else Is Invited: Ask around and see who you might know on the guest list, especially if you’re still debating whether or not you should cash in your plus one. While the idea of a romantic night with a date may sound divine, going stag and meeting up with a group of friends or creating a “friend date” with an already-invited guest might prove to be a lot more fun than hanging with the random person you stealthily convinced to go with you.

Enjoy Yourself! It’s not exactly your day, but a significant other won’t make or break the time you spend with people you love.

Are you going to any weddings soon? Tell us if you prefer to fly solo or couple up at weddings below!

Stephanie Sharlow is a freelance writer and media fanatic living in New York City. She is a lover of shoes, SoulCycle and social media, and runs solely on black coffee. Check out more of her work at www.stephaniesharlow.com.