DH Invited Ex-G/F to Baby Shower - UPDATE

My DH and I decided on a Jack and Jill Baby Celebration rather than a traditional baby shower.

A woman responded she was coming. We will call her W.S. Well, I had no idea who W.S. is so I asked my DH and he said she was an old friend from a town he used to live in. Okay.

However, last night, I asked him if W.S. was an ex-girfriend, and he admitted she was, but that he rarely talks with her. They dated over 10 years ago right after his divorce from his first wife. (He had told me about this ex-gf before. I just never knew her name.)

I KNOW there is nothing going on. That isn't the issue. I just find it very weird to invite an ex-lover to a baby shower. I don't want this woman there. When I expressed my views, my DH got mad at me and said I was being "insecure" and acting silly. That he married me -- not her. We are having a baby together and I should be proud of our love and family, and not feel insecure or judged by W.S.

UPDATE

Last night, we watched a "How I Met Your Mother" re-run. How ironic! It ended up being the episode of Ted's and Stella's almost-wedding. Ted invited his ex-gf, Robin, to the wedding. And then, through a twist of events, invited Stella's ex, Tony. So, the episode centered around whether it is okay or not to invite exes.

As soon as the episode was over, my DH turned to me and said, "I shouldn't have invited (insert name). I'm sorry."

Comments (107)

I wouldn't say it makes OP look jealous, it makes DH look bad if anything. He should know better. Inviting anyone who has interacted with DH's penis is off limits. (I think a PP said something along these lines. lol)

That is weird. While it sucks she's coming (who accepts an invitation like that?!) I agree with Reds that people (probably her friends) will say you're the jealous insecure wife who couldn't handle a friend coming to your shower. It's 100% not true but that's how she'll spin it.
I'm sure you will look beautiful and glowing! Just have a great time and remember - he chose you not her. So even if nothing fits and everything is leaking at the end of the day you have him and she doesn't!

My thing is why did he invite her in the first place she has no business there. She is an exam and shouldn't be brought into any part of your relationship. Its rude and distasteful if she even tries to come.

I was away a bit and came back to a slew of messages. Thanks, ladies, for the advice and support. I will try my best to address things that were brought up.

As for those that suggested I get "dolled up" -- I was wanting to look nice before, but now I DEFINITELY want my hair and make-up professionally done. Like a PP said, I can't help that I'm gaining weight, but I can at least go for the glowing look!

Also, it IS possible their mutual friends wanted the EX there. DH has a good friend whose wife is best friends with the EX. The friend and wife are coming soooo ... maybe they asked about the EX coming too. Yet, he still shouldn't have invited her.

Furthermore, as for comparing invite lists ... we did! We sat down together and wrote out our invite lists. He even gave me his. And I can tell you, this woman was not on the list. I knew everyone on his list. So, I was shocked when she responded. I was so confused, not knowing who she was or why she was RSVPing to our baby shower.

This tells me my DH invited her after we invited the others. So, perhaps, the mutual friends had a hand in it.