35 Things My Kids Should Know About Me

As my pregnancy advances and I begin to consider my future as a mother I find myself wondering how things will change. How I will change. What are some things my kids should know about me? Will I pull from the invisible well of strength that all mothers seem to have? Perhaps I’ll be guided by some sort of inner knowledge that will unravel and unlock as I need it most. But who will I be?

While considering very important things like if I’ll ever enjoy a cigarette and a glass of wine again I realized that it might be important to document some things my kids should know about me. Maybe when my kid reads it for the first time they’ll feel enlightened. Or maybe, much like a child, they’ll brush it off as lame. I don’t know and I don’t really care—that’s a thing about me.

I’m terrified of spiders.

I had to steal my high school diploma because of a mistaken late fee on a textbook I had returned.

I change my mind a lot.

Sometimes what I think and how I feel aren’t the same.

I love the smell of black & mild cigars, they remind me of being a kid.

I used to think people would find me more interesting if I liked what they liked. It turns out the opposite is true. Be the voice, not the echo.

I’m still afraid of the dark.

I wish I was closer to my mom.

I’ve never felt stronger than when I was pushing my body in the gym and I’ve never felt more in tune with myself than when I was pregnant.

Sometimes I don’t like who I am, I wish I was more tolerant and forgiving.

I’ve never met a better person than your father. That’s why I married him and why I chose him to be your dad.

I’m passionate about people, when someone needs help I will drop almost anything to figure it out.

Once my underwear was showing while I was sitting in the cafeteria in 7th grade. I was sooo embarrassed. Now, I couldn’t even estimate the number of people I’ve mooned, your ideas will change.

Nothing is better to me than a cup of coffee, a good book, and the rain.

I hate it when people smack their mouth when they chew.

For me, the hardest part of growing up was learning to handle being wrong and admitting it with dignity and grace. I’m still working on it and growing all the time.

I wish I didn’t have stage fright. I would love to perform.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, Christmas is a close second.

I’ve thought I looked fat in every photo ever taken of me.

I’m certain the earth is round.

My favorite part of my body is my back, it’s strong and gives me the ability to do everything that I do.

I wish I was better at outdoor stuff, I fantasize a bit about being a survivalist.

I also fantasize about secretly being really good at martial arts.

As a toddler, I used to tell people I lived at Target.

This might not come as a surprise, but I’m very contrary and confrontational. Hopefully, you’ve learned a measured temper from your dad.

I can barely snap my fingers. It’s one of my biggest shames.

As a child, my favorite ice cream flavor was “green.” My parents would test the theory by giving me both pistachio and mint chip. I couldn’t tell the difference and loved them both.

The first time something “blew my mind” was when I was six and I was informed I didn’t have to take off my dress to pee, I could just pull up the skirt.

Han shot first

Kid horror stories really fucked me up. I’m still afraid of something licking my hands or feet if I let them hang off the bed.

I’ve marched against war and for human/ civil/ women’s/ gay rights whenever I could.

I never could be told what to think or who to be. I hope you inherited that, though I’m sure I’ll regret saying that.

At the time of your birth, I was able to express complex thoughts and emotions exclusively through the use of emojis and KIMOJIs. It’s vintage, look it up.

I’m really good at doing anything with my hands and I enjoy handicrafts.

I’m an animal lover through and through.

I’m sure one day there will be a follow-up post including a great deal more things my kids should know about me. What are some things your kids should know about you?