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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Exactly how do floral bouquets "express" approval of gay marriage?

Usual antigay suspects like the Alliance Defending Freedom, the National Organization for Marriage, Ryan T. Anderson of the Heritage Foundation, et al. would like right-wing suckers everywhere to believe that anti-gay marriage martyrs like Baronelle Stutzman, of Arlene's Flowers, are being nailed to the cross of gay marriage by public accommodation laws requiring them to sell flowers to gay couples getting married.
And how are these activist antigay florists being wronged? Why, because they are artists, just like musicians who now must write songs exalting gay marriage and portraitists who depict gay brides or grooms (because depiction is really advocacy!)
In the words of Attorney J.D. Bristol, Stutzman's lawyer, who insists his client is not in violation of the
Consumer Protection Act because she is protected by the First
Amendment of the U.S. Constitution:

The state cannot require a
florist to express appreciation for, or acceptance of gay 'marriage'
any more than the state can require a musician to write a song about it,
or an artist to paint a picture.

So flower arranging "expresses" appreciation for and "acceptance of" gay marriage, does it? (Unlike the sale of crushed ice or the rental of tents and tuxes.)
OK, charlatans, have it your way. Now let's discuss how to put your rhetorical swindle to a simple test before a judge or jury!
Tell you what let's do; let's show said judge or jury some unmarked pictures of wedding bouquets for gay and straight marriages, shall we? Like, oh, the two arrangements below:

So, Mssrs. Brian Brown and Ryan T. Anderson: Which bouquet above is the one that expressively screams "I celebrate homo marriage" and which one doesn't? But don't tell us — tell it to a judge or jury unable to tell the difference. And no peeking at the answer photo, OK?

Maynard (Bob "Gilligan's Island" Denver) slyly flashes a nipple to the CBS eye while trying to talk his best buddy Dobie Gillis (Dwayne Hick­man) into taking off all his clothes. Whoever said 1950s television was a vast waste­land obviously didn't know where to look.