ftfa: '...go to Dunkin Donuts (if Dunkies closes, the terrorists win) and get some smokes. Provisions secured, we hiked back up the hill to her place, whereupon she reminded me that last night I had apparently forgotten where her apartment was and attempted to locate her by literally yelling her name in the street. A full block from where she lives, as it turns out.'

This cigarette smoker-loser (who still smokes?) horndog is paid to be a journalist?!?

/of course his low IQ would also explain his willingness to have a one-night-stand in one of the major STD hqs of the U.S...

It's not often that someone makes me feel embarrassed to be a fellow man.

Next, some half-awake hanky-panky. While rolling around we almost fell off the side again, knocking into the nightstand, which tipped over again. "Well shiat," I said, "that must've been how that happened last night." "I'll have to take your word for it," she said.

she reminded me that last night I had apparently forgotten where her apartment was and attempted to locate her by literally yelling her name in the street. A full block from where she lives, as it turns out.

FriarReb98:Then time elapsed and cabin fever began to take hold. We slipped out the door, contravening the governor's orders, and hustled down the deserted Boston streets, hoping not to get shot by a SWAT team, to go to Dunkin Donuts (if Dunkies closes, the terrorists win) and get some smokes.

Truer words....

\hell, told my friend before he headed to work to go pretend to be a first responder to get freebies

UNC_Samurai:Flint Ironstag: whistleridge: skinink: Jeebus, he got laid twice plus he wasn't really locked down as he was able to go grab some coffee and still do work from her place. I wish I had problems that worked out so conveniently well.

So now Esquire hires people to write "How badly I got laid" stories?

AND it sounds like she was pretty cool about all of it, and might even be worth following up on later in the day. #firstworldproblems, for sure.

Exactly. This could have turned an otherwise literally forgettable one night stand into the best "and that's how I met my wife" stories. She sounds like a keeper.

Coming this spring: Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in the feel-good rom-com of the year! Two opposites in lockdown find they're unlocking each other's hearts.

That was my thought, this is a perfect as-of-yet unexploited rom-com premise.

UNC_Samurai:Flint Ironstag: whistleridge: skinink: Jeebus, he got laid twice plus he wasn't really locked down as he was able to go grab some coffee and still do work from her place. I wish I had problems that worked out so conveniently well.

So now Esquire hires people to write "How badly I got laid" stories?

AND it sounds like she was pretty cool about all of it, and might even be worth following up on later in the day. #firstworldproblems, for sure.

Exactly. This could have turned an otherwise literally forgettable one night stand into the best "and that's how I met my wife" stories. She sounds like a keeper.

Coming this spring: Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in the feel-good rom-com of the year! Two opposites in lockdown find they're unlocking each other's hearts.

Flint Ironstag:whistleridge: skinink: Jeebus, he got laid twice plus he wasn't really locked down as he was able to go grab some coffee and still do work from her place. I wish I had problems that worked out so conveniently well.

So now Esquire hires people to write "How badly I got laid" stories?

AND it sounds like she was pretty cool about all of it, and might even be worth following up on later in the day. #firstworldproblems, for sure.

Exactly. This could have turned an otherwise literally forgettable one night stand into the best "and that's how I met my wife" stories. She sounds like a keeper.

Coming this spring: Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in the feel-good rom-com of the year! Two opposites in lockdown find they're unlocking each other's hearts.

whistleridge:skinink: Jeebus, he got laid twice plus he wasn't really locked down as he was able to go grab some coffee and still do work from her place. I wish I had problems that worked out so conveniently well.

So now Esquire hires people to write "How badly I got laid" stories?

AND it sounds like she was pretty cool about all of it, and might even be worth following up on later in the day. #firstworldproblems, for sure.

Exactly. This could have turned an otherwise literally forgettable one night stand into the best "and that's how I met my wife" stories. She sounds like a keeper.

I can kind of relate. Not quite a one-night stand as we had dated a couple times, but I brought her to my apartment for a drink and a snog, and it was definitely time to take her home...and there was a fire next door, with the fire trucks blocking me in. For hours.

It was just awkward and we both wanted it to be over. I think we both realized that if we couldn't handle this, that sex was all we had in common. If memory serves, that was the last I saw of her.