The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 7/31/13: Gorgeous

– Don’t be afraid to contribute to the discussion in our comments section, click the “like” button and share the column on your social media things. Tyler Breeze will never become a cult hero unless we make it so.

– This is the first taping from the set of tapings I attended live, so if you hear somebody yelling something about how much they hate Corey Graves, that’s me. Sorry. I’m kinda loud.

Please click through for the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for July 31, 2013.

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Worst: Welp, I Guess We’re Starting Off This Week’s Show With Mason Ryan Dancing

The opening segment of the first NXT show in a set of tapings that includes Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro having a 2-out-of-3 falls Match Of The Year is Enzo Amore announcing a dance contest, Tons of Funk showing up randomly to beat them up and dance and Mason Ryan pulling a Rikishi. This was the first thing I saw at my first-ever live NXT show. For a moment, I thought I was having Nam flashbacks about Raw.

The good news about NXT is that even the bad stuff isn’t so bad, because it doesn’t have years and years of horrible memories attached to it to justify pessimism. On Raw they can do something positive, like have Daniel Bryan main-eventing, and there’s still this creeping feeling that Stephanie McMahon and Triple H are gonna show up to give him a makeover. On NXT, Brodus Clay beats up a developmental guy and dances and it’s not great, but at least he’s gone quickly and you don’t see him again for 3.8 shows.

Best: SAWFT

I thought BADABOOM, REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM was going to be the defining Enzo Amore catchphrase, but nope, it’s S-A-W-F-T. Sawwwwwft!

I’m not sold on Amore as a wrestler yet, but God, that dude is a catchphrase machine. He’s almost horrible on the microphone, but it’s that purposeful kind of horrible that lets you know he’s doing it intentionally. SAWFT works because it (1) allows the crowd to demean a wrestler of their choosing a la the “what” chants with a succinct, easily heard shout-word — see the Tyler Breeze promo, where random people start yelling SAWFT to let the video screen know what they think of him — and (2) it makes wrestling fans sound like the seagulls from Finding Nemo. SAWFT, SAWFT, SAWFT

Worst/Best: A Dance Contest To Set Up Another Dance Contest (But At Least It’s Full Of People I Like)

As a rule, I do not like dance contests. LOOK AT THE FUNNY DANCING has never done it for me, especially when funny dancing is used to determine title shots or whatever like it is here.

That said, a bad wrestling segment can be made wonderful by upping the talent of the people in it, so when Emma and Dusty Rhodes are in the same place at the same time, wonders happen. There’s a lot of good and bad to this dance-off storyline (which I’ll get to in later weeks as it plays out), but seriously, here are three GIFs to concisely explain what I’m talking about.

1. Summer Rae thinks it’s stupid that Emma gets title shots and wants to make fun of her dancing. Summer, however, is a master of dance, so she can’t do the Emma dance properly and looks like she’s doggypaddling.

2. Emma proves her dancing ability by doing The Cabbage Patch. She is super, super hot. And then DUSTY RHODES STARTS DOING THE CABBAGE PATCH WITH HER TO THE DISMAY OF EVERYONE ELSE.

3. Dusty thinks Summer’s idea of a dance contest is stupid, but he also thinks it’d be kinda entertaining and funny, because Dusty Rhodes understands wrestling fans better than anybody in wrestling and is allowed to be honest. The GM knowing it’s a sorta bad idea but going with it anyway works when they’re just being upfront about it. Also, when they’re likable wrestling legends.

Oh, right, the third GIF. Emma dances away with Dusty and the camera lingers just long enough to catch Summer Rae corpsing her ass off. This is probably the most I’ve ever liked Summer Rae.

Jump to the very end of that video. If you need proof that Charlotte’s the Flair kid who got the wrestling ability, listen to that pop across the chest. She’s got it. Remember David Flair trying to throw strikes? Here, I’ll remind you. It was the worst thing in human history. Worse than famine.

What’s weird is that the NXT crew of Divas are so well-trained and get such a comfortable place to perform that they’re already head and shoulders above the ladies on the USA network. In a perfect world, Sara Del Rey keeps Charlotte, Paige, Emma, Summer and whoever else in developmental for another two years, axe kicks them until they’re fighting like joshis, then unleashes them on the unsuspecting WWE Universe.

It’s hard for me to explain why I like Tyler Breeze so much, but this Jason Schwartzman thing he does with Renee sorta speaks for itself. So many gems here.

– Taking FOUR ATTEMPTS to find the proper adjective for a debut Renee’s already called “magnanimous.”
– A solid minute of improv about how he’s gorgeous while CJ Parker acts like an asshole in the background
– HIS VOICE. He almost sounds like Eugene Levy describing Crabtown in A Mighty Wind
– “Do you feel that? I think we’re done here.”
– “You just stay being … you, and I’ll just stay being me. Tyler Breeze.”
– “Tyler Breeze has left the building.” The best part of this is that he had a match shortly after that, so Byron Saxton had to stand in the ring “getting a message from backstage” that was ultimately “Tyler Breeze has re-entered the building.”

Also important: all of Kassius Ohno’s parts in the NXT open have been replaced by Tyler Breeze clips. I’m not sure how to feel about that, so I’m gonna lean toward the positives of “Tyler Breeze is in the open” and shy away from the colossal negatives of “WWE is Taeler Hendrixing Chris Hero.”

Bray ending his last promo like he ended his first ones made me so happy. I love this evil cult leader demon man so much.

Speaking of D-Squared, did Garret Dylan and Scott Dawson just fuse together? Like, it’s not just that Dylan is suddenly out of the picture for no reason, Regal’s been using that “he reminds me of Arn Anderson” talking point for Dylan since the FCW days, and now it belongs to Dawson. I am very concerned about this wrestler I never really wanted to see wrestle.

The notion of turning the NXT women’s division into a super-joshi squad profoundly excites me. Debut them as a group in front of a really good crowd (Brooklyn, Philly, CHICAGO). Sure, they’ll get jeers and creepy sex looks for probably about five minutes because most of the crowd will have no idea what’s coming, but I don’t think “treat Divas like sex objects” can keep its footing for very long in the face of Paige knight-lighting AJ Lee through the fucking floor.

Co-sign on the NXT women’s division Nexus-ing the current Divas division. Hell, if they want to work in Total Divas (sigh, it makes me sad to shoehorn this in) have Nattie lead them. Have Nattie cut a promo about how they’re not DIVAS they’re female Superstars (because, honestly, Divas? That’s like if they called the men the himbos).

Yup. Both Regal and Maddox are the commentary gold standards in today’s WWE. Seriously, if you were to pull someone off the streets who has never listened to the WWE product and asked them who was the top announcers of the company, 99/100 times they’d choose Regal and Maddox.

I meant, on NXT. I should not have wondered: Regal’s usually gold on the mic.But yes, Regal should be commentating on the big shows. I’m quite enjoying this show, and the commentary is hitting the right notes here. It’s not overpowering the action, it explains without overwhelming what goes on in the ring… quite refreshing.

I don’t know how they did it, but when The Shield’s music hit, that arena filled with a couple hundred people sounded louder than any Wrestlemania crowd. Shit gave me goosebumps just watching it at home.

1) I think the WWE should start airing NXT fan reactions of The Family when they enter an NXT arena (like waving their hands around, while Regal’s voiceover talks about the hypnotic trance the Wyatt’s theme song has over the fans) instead of their current video package of their compound. Perhaps if they show the Raw fans how you should react to the Wyatt family, we’ll get more fans waiving their hands around and less Husky Harris chants.

I know they sort of half-assed this with Fandango, but, I think it would work with The Family because of how incredible they are.

2) I think Shield needs at least one more member in their group. This member would allow Ambrose to get into the Heavyweight title picture. I think the problem with the Shield right now is that they’re a little stuck and I’m starting to wonder if a lot of fans don’t take them as serious because their ring leader is “only” a US champion. That doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore.

Personally, I’d love to see them add one more guy and Paige. That way they could at one point sweep (almost) all the titles in the WWE.

3) I think Summer Rae would be better suited to ditch Fandango (and Fandango can bring back the brunette) and join Zeb’s army. Her personality and her looks are definitely something you see on Fox news, so, why not incorporate her into the group to help establish what Coulter is talking about?

I’ve long been a fan of bringing in a new Shield member and Paige as a female member. They need a strong female who can hold her own while looking like an actual woman. This episode led me to believe we may finally see Ohno join The Shield, since DA name dropped him.

The Wyatt send off was incredible, but I’m wondering why it had to be this episode, rather than the last ep of these tapings. I don’t want them to ever go away, since Wyatts on NXT is my favorite wrestling thing in I don’t know how long, and I know it has to happen and they deserve it, but is 3 more weeks too much to ask since they’re already there anyway?

Finally! $8 though? It s just a shitty plastic mask with an elastic band. WWE takes the piss sometimes. It would be cool if they just gave them away for free at a few shows so they can get that cool visual of getting an entire crowd wearing them when Bray walks out.

omg omg omg bray wyatt is going to obligatorily lose to the undertaker at wrestlemania and then immediately straight up murder him and then he is going to become the undertaker for the next thirty years, except better because he’s bray fucking wyatt

Usually I’m pretty reactionary about the second- or third-generation guys who get called up and seem sort of generic (see Orton, Randy) but I’m all in with Wyatt. The cadence change is what helps him avoid/defuse what chants and he’s morphed into the best talker in the company.

A thing about the Dawson – Graves match: It seemed to suffer from the same thing as Miz’s short matches as well, he takes some damage, does a single move targeting the leg, leg submission, BOOM, THE GUY IS INSTANTLY TAPPING, and that’s kinda lame.

Man, I wish the Wyatts, and hell, even The Shield were this over on the main shows, but sadly, I don’t believe that’ll ever happen, no matter how awesome they are. I absolutely agree with the notion that NXT seems like some kind of Utopia compared to RAW and Smackdown, especially when you see the guys you like from the main roster that don’t have the opportunity to shine, like Cesaro (although he did shine vs Bryan, I’ll admit that) but the fact that the developmental talent is never outshined whenever faced with a main roster guy (e.g. that awesome Sheamus – Harper match) both in the ring, and in the eyes of that NXT crowd makes NXT an awesome experience from pretty much every aspect. It’s a shame that I’ll never get an opportunity to witness it live.

As for Ohno, I heard that he’s already announced to be back for certain shows NXT has, though I don’t think he’s back on NXT TV yet. I figure he made it clear to the management that he’s going to take more time in the gym or whatever so he’s making his way up again, it’s a shame that there was this seemingly unnecessary bump in the road though, but it would be an even bigger shame if they actually released him, that would be awful… I like the idea of some that Ohno should come back as a Shield member, I thought that a while back, and there was speculation that he was supposed to be there instead of Reigns but whatever, Ohno as the fourth guy and Paige as the Shield Girl (She-ld?) sounds cool. It would be best if the Wyatt family would increase at the same time, culminating in an epic Survivor Series match or something like that.

I honestly felt like crying during Bray’s promo, as odd as that may sound. I know we all have this weird thing with guys like Bryan and Punk where we watched them in an overheated horse barn in Dayton Ohio or wherever and so now its like our little boy has grown up, but you know, its not entirely.

With Wyatt, the character works so well, that I actually I feel like I’m kin, and my boy has grown up, and here he was sending us off with what made me fall for him in the first place, and dammit, I welled up. I would go to war for him; I would.

I usually watch the show while listening to music. The Omen score came on just as the Wyatts came out, which seemed strangely appropriate. I am only in the middle of Bray’s promo and…I have no words really. This man is pure gold in every aspect.

This was only the 2nd time I have ever cried during a wrestling show. The only other time I cried was earlier this year when I noticed Paul Heyman crying next to the ring after punk retained the world title against ryback in that TLC match on RAW and before he went on against the rock on the mic ! It was like Paul transfered his feelings to me as he was proud like a dad would be of his child with punk becoming the longest reigning champion in the last 25 years. And The highlights of punk’s career from his debut and all the way to that night played in my head.

It’s gonna be hard for me to watch Bray Wyatt in NXT while I’m rewatching all the episodes that I missed from this season without remembering this and shedding a tear …

I feel like I’m the only one that actually likes Scott Dawson AND Corey Graves’s in ring styles around here … I thought their match was alright.

On the other hand, I didn’t like how both Charlotte and Sasha acted like Alicia fox more than acting like a definitive heel or a face .. As they dance and pose for the crowd in their entrances and during their matches, but then show some crazy anger and/or cockiness and seem to not really know how to act and what to do for a couple of seconds.

Finally, how f*cking over are Antonio Cesaro, the shield and the Wyatt family in NXT ?! The pops for them each night sounds as loud as the attitude era crowd was when they hear the glass shattering !!! They totally deserve just as much appreciation from the rest of the fans all around the world.

Yeah I don t mind Dawson or Graves, thought the match was perfectly fine. I don t see the problem with someone tapping when there s been no offence to that body part because if you re put in a submission and you can t get out of it, you re gonna tap whether that part is injured already or not.

One thing I will say about Corey Graves (please don’t ostracize me for this) is that I have something of a soft spot for him. Like Brandon experienced with Conor O’Brian, I met him after an indy show in England a few years back and he was very pleasant and ever since then I can’t bring myself to hate him.

All that said, I was not expecting The Shield so I was super excited. The crowd for that was fantastic. I bet live it was something extra special.

Brandon, were you by any chance wearing a Ziggler shirt right across from the hard camera? This person is just far enough away that all I can tell is it’s a white guy with a beard, baseball cap, and Ziggler shirt who is SO MAD that Bo Dallas got tagged in.

Brandon, you’ll have to remind us about crowd noise as these episodes air, but was the crowd just DEAD SILENT for the Charlotte/Sasha match or does NXT have the worst sound mix on television? It was weird to see a crowd that was clearly interested in the match, yet hardly getting audibly excited for it outside of Charlotte’s chop and her finisher.

I can’t say I’m terribly happy about random main-roster stars appearing on NXT and just leaving. Tons Of Funk had no reason to be there and helped no one. It’s always nice to see The Shield, but I haven’t read spoilers and I’m pretty sure I know the result of next week’s US Title match. On the other hand, Cesaro has an amazing storyline reason to be there and even Sheamus acquitted himself well during his appearance. It just shouldn’t be a regular event for the main roster to cross back and forth. It actually HURTS the developmental roster more than anyone else.

I know that Bayley and Sasha are relegated as jobbers at the moment, but I wish both of them would win once in a while. They’re good performers! They’re just stuck in a situation where everyone else is either a good worker and/or has a good character.

The Bray Wyatt promo is, essentially, what anybody who next sees someone say ‘oh, they’re/he’s not really that good’. Just show them that. And if they don’t like it, don’t be their friend, because they are wrong.

I’m super worried about Ohno, though. Like, how can a guy go from being in big NXT feuds to being so (supposedly) out of favour that he’s taken out of the opening video?

Oh, and Bo was, quite possibly, the worst tag team partner anybody has ever had. I’m pretty sure that at one point he shouted ‘don’t stop bo-lieving’ to Sami Zayn whilst Kruger was double stomping the shit out of him. The good side of that was when he was indecisive about making the tag to Zayn on the outside, took too long and Kruger just levelled him instead. He played that really well.

Yeah to be honest I wasn t a massive Bray fan before I heard that beautiful speech. If it was really his farewell couldn t he have indulged the one more time chants? Just this once? Although I would feel sorry for Aiden English, he s my favourite thing in NXT. Sure would be nice to see him in a…you know, match.

That Tyler Breeze segment with Renee is probably the best backstage segment since the Wrestlemania 28 pre-show with AJ YES!ing in a little circle around Daniel Bryan while he poses and her arms getting tired from lifting the World Heavyweight Championship repeatedly. Or maybe that one where Kane pours a keg of gatorade over AJ, Bryan and Dr Shelby and yelling “I’m going to Disneyland!”.

It’s just… I can’t even… You’re 100% right with the Jason Schwartzman comparison and I never would have thought of it. He has the exact same mannerisms and speech pattern as Schwartzman’s Bored to Death character, crossed with Zoolander. He’s amazing. Fully on board the Breeze bandwagon. And there is no one more perfect for him to play off than Renee. She doesn’t oversell it, or undersell it. She’s perfect too. And you can see her very nearly corpsing a few times but hiding it with a frown or a head turn or a nose scrunch. And it’s not like that Emma segment where Emma is so awesome that you (I) don’t really notice anything that Summer Rae or Paige are doing. They’re equals. Ah I loved it so much.

that wrestlemania 28 backstage segment was one of the main reasons AJ has become my favourite female talent in the WWE in years BY FAR !

and that kane segment (along with the one where he tells his life story) was the reason I put up with all of his boring matches but still has a smile on my face and loved him equally as much as bryan or punk !

and THIS segment with tyler breeze ? OMG ! BEST BEST BEST THING EVER !

Charlotte weirds me out. From the waist up she looks like a perfectly attractive lady wrestler — from the waist down she looks like Ric Flair. *She has Rick Flair’s legs/ass*, which I think we can all agree, is not an ideal thing for a lady to have. She desperately needs some long tights — maybe with some ass padding.

The ponytail look is very unflattering on Renee. I usually find her attractive, but when she goes full pony, her profile makes her look a little homely. She needs her long hair down to frame up her face or something that someone better schooled in aesthetics would be able to describe more clearly.

It also doesn’t help that she’s on a show with Paige, Charlotte, Summer, and Emma, each of whom is much prettier than any of the Divas on the main roster with the possible exception of Aksana.

Goosebumps from that Bray Wyatt promo – as with all of his promos -, utterly amazing. Enzo Amore is hilarious and Tyler Breeze looks to be great (or in his own opinion – gorgeous). Good main event too. Great write-up.