A Girl Who Never Wanted To Leave.

Hie! Here I am with my second Hub. Hope you all like it. Actually I still have Goosebumps whenever I got a new comment for my first HUB 'Blame It On Whom?' Lol. You all are very Lovely, Caring, Encouraging & Inspiring people. Just because of You all Encouraged me so much am gonna publish my second Hub. But before that lemme Thanks all of you who are very Genuine, Kind-Hearted, & Sincere.Let me start with my....Beautiful & Always smiling Hub Mother---> Sunnie dayAn Inspiring Lady ---> StrictlydatingA Thorough Gentleman---> EpigrammanBeautiful Heart---> Nellieanna,Sir David warren, Sir jpcmc, Sir Gregas, Sir J.S.Mathew, And Very Funny & Loving Sir BBNix.Hope you guys don't get bored before started reading my HUB. LOL

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A Girl Who Never Wanted To Leave

She was the third among her four siblings. Very Introvert, Scared of the outside world. She was an indoor kind of a girl. She always gets scared of going outside & meeting new people. Because of her peculiar behavior her parents couldn't make out anything. As days passed by they started worrying about her future. She had never asked her parents for anything like any other kids. Because she never wanted anything. This wasn't her disease or something like that. She just thought that there is no need to ask or demand, Her parents will understand her needs & what ever she wants. Her family was her Strength & Weakness both. She loved her family a lot.

One day her parents decided to marry her. She never defied them ever. Her parents loved her allot there's no doubt in that but they should have been confronted her, They should have asked her. She just gave them a SMILE in return & kept quite. She wanted to ask them why they are doing this to her. But she didn't ask anything. That was her biggest problem or should I say a mistake. Why the hell she didn't ask them on the very day. She just looked at the sky like she was asking directly to GOD. But in vain, She never got any answer just more silent with empty clouds was everywhere. Her eyes got filled up with water she looked down a Tear dropped.

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Did You Forgotten How I Use To Cry? When Ever I Was Hungry Or Defy, MOM, You Had Understood me, In My Childhood, When I couldn't Talk, I Was Crawling, But Couldn't Walk,

Those Were The Days When You Use To Feed,You Were There Whenever I Need,Will Those Days Ever Come Back?Because Nowadays When Your LOVE Is LACK,When DAD Use To Tell Me Stories,Cuddling Me Tightly With My Teddies,

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You Know I Won't Ask You 'WHY'Do Understand Me Or Should I Cry?Will My Tears Make You Understand?Let Me Live, In My DreamlandWhy You Want Me To Disappear?What If I Wouldn't Come Out With My Fear?

Where Were Those Days Gone?When You Use To Make Me Fawn.Can You Please Do It Reprieve?"BECAUSE I REALY DON'T WANNA LEAVE"

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The Final Day came when she got married and her second life started. Her Husband was a nice Gentleman. BUT he's also been forced marriage. One day she came to know everything which was hidden by her Husband & In-laws that her Husband was in LOVE with somebody else & wanted to marry her But couldn't. She thought she should give a chance of her married life to make it work. But she was failing. She never wanna let her Parents HURT by knowing the TRUTH. That is why she kept quiet again but still SMILING. Just for her Parents sake and one more thing that she was in LOVE with her Husband.

'Behind my SMILE, Is a HURTING HEART, Behind my LAUGH, I'm FALLING APART, Look closely at me and you will SEE, The girl I am...Isn't me'.

And The Day came when she left her Husband. Nobody stopped her. She was kept looking back but there was no one. Again she didn't ask anybody why they did this to her. She just looked at the sky like she was QUESTIONING DIRECTLY TO GOD. But again more silent with empty clouds everywhere. ONCE AGAIN SHE NEVER WANTED TO LEAVE ... But

"Teardrops slowly fall from my EYES as I look to the SKY, And I question how come LIFE keeps passing me right on by, I just wonder why I can't ESCAPE, Is this my FATE? To always be UNHAPPY and how much longer must I WAIT"

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Death Arise

Do you agree that DEATH arise only 'When your Heart stop Beating or You stop Breathing & something like that '?

I agree These are the only reasons.

I don't agree. There are many reasons. A Hopeless, Loveless, Lifeless, & Emotionless person can also DIE.

You all out there wanna know what happened after that?Where is she now?What went wrong with her?I have only one answer to all of you 'SHE IS NO MORE NOW'. ALIVE but LIFELESS, HOPELESS, LOVELESS, & EMOTIONLESS, As she always been. In fact now she is in PEACEFUL mind. At least now she doesn't need to Ask, doesn't need to Cry for Help, Doesn't need to pull her forced relationship to make it Work any more.

Do you all AGREE that DEATH Arise when your HEART STOPPED BEATING or You STOPPED BREATHING & something like that?Then Think Twice, There are many other reasons for DYING, like...A person Die when there is NO HOPE,When there is NO UNDERSTANDING,When there is NO REASON TO LIVE,When there is no answer's to HIS/HER QUESTION'S,

Comments

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sending

Girish puri 5 years agofrom NCR , INDIA

That's great and touching, i was lost in your creation, and that is what a must for any writer, keep flowing like a river.

Mohan Kumar 5 years agofrom UK

There is so much feeling in this story/poem, so much truth about dying inside, dying emotionally when all hope is (seemingly) lost. Its a sad tale, all too common - where people let themselves die inside when they are not heard, not loved, not understood. You've captured that empty shell of an existence so well. voted up/awesome!

forall 5 years ago

Hi Shanaya. I am late maybe. I read the 3 hubs without respecting the chronology. Touching!! I found myself reading with feelings and interacting with the story. You made it look real! I couldn't stop reading until I finished all what you wrote.

What I am going to say isn't new for sure, you're talented! Congratulation for the work you did. Wishing to read from you soon :)

Forall

Cathy Nerujen 5 years agofrom Edge of Reality and Known Space

I just shared this Hub Pages on Pinterest.

Cathy Nerujen 5 years agofrom Edge of Reality and Known Space

What a roller coaster of a journey for the woman in this hub. I know just how it works when your family try to marry you. I am part Thai and part Indian and it happened to me. But I got out of it. I had a perfect excuse as it weirdly turned out, so the guy I had not even met could not debate the subject.

There are so many sides to this, I can relate to so much, but the man not loving her...that is heart-breaking. And it is sad when the most trusted people we know and love, our own family, would do this... and we ask what can we do, because it is part of their culture.

It is so hard not wanting to be a permanent victim of that history, and that memory and the scars that come with it. But I got on with my life. I shove that part deep inside and lock it away. And I have forgiven my family for the errors and got my life back together again.

I was like her, not demanding or asking too much, before the thing happened. Maybe it is better for future generations to be a bit more demanding and a little less trusting. The culture has to equip young people how to survive this when things go wrong.

It is a sad hard lesson that will change future generations of young people.

crosby123 5 years agofrom Georgetown

Your hubs somehow,touching. =)

mckbirdbks 5 years agofrom Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Happy New Year shanaya.

Author

shanaya 5 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

Hello Dear Maralexa Ma'am! Thanks for letting me know that am a good storyteller. I will surely write more stuffs. Pleasure meeting you.

with lots of Love & Respect

from SHANAYA:)

Hello Jean ma'am! Thanks for stoping by and commenting as well. It means a lot to me.

Yeah that appreciation I had done above is for letting them know that I really Admire and Respect their work.

with lots of Love & Respect

from SHANAYA:)

Hello Dear Susie Ma'am! Thanks so much for stopped by and commenting. I will give myself 30% Credit for writing this Hub and the whole 70% Credit goes to all of you who commented & Voted up here. You all made it popular. Thanks so much for that.:)

with love & respect

from SHANAYA:)

Author

shanaya 5 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

Hello The Great sir Epigramman! Thanks a ton for stoping by, commenting here again and supporting me as well. It realy means a lot to me whenever you read and comment on my writing. I will definitely write more Hubs. Thanks so much again.:)

with lots of love & respect

from SHANAYA:)

Author

shanaya 5 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

Dear Mandeep ma'am! Thanks so much for coming and leaving a beautiful comment here. Love ya.

With lots of Respect & Love

from SHANAYA:)

Dear Ayse Ma'am! Thanks so much for appreciating my Hub. You gave light by commenting here.

with lots of Love & Respect

from SHANAYA:)

Hello my Friend Venzkhvam! Yeah there are still so many Females who suffering a lot and they need HELP. I am sure by writing this Hub and all of the above comments will be counted in Helping them.

with Respect

from SHANAYA:)

Hello my Friend Binaya! Thanks so much for stoping by and for your valuable comment.

with Respect

from SHANAYA:)

Kenneth Avery 5 years agofrom Hamilton, Alabama

12/6

Dear shanaya, had to come back and reread this. Voted up and away on this remarkable hub. Very sensitive; touching; and hard to stop reading, for it's that good. And I want to personally thank YOU for following me. This warm gesture is not only appreciated, but will never be forgotten. Merry Christmas to you and yours and please keep in touch with me. (KENNETH)

Fehl Dungo 5 years agofrom close to you...

This is so moving and so heartfelt. I love the way it flows and how you arranged it. As for the story, I felt sad with the girl. It was like suicide from the beginning. She was smiling though her heart was breaking. And the arranged marriage, I get it that it happens to some families. At least you have made your parents happy somehow. Glad this is all over though. It's about time you start living for yourself and not for other people.

Extremely well written. :)

xx

Caroline Marie 5 years agofrom Close to Heaven

Amazing story. Very pretty but sad at the same time. Would love to read more. :)

gjfalcone 5 years agofrom Gilbert, Arizona

Your ? "I don't agree. There are many reasons. A Hopeless, Loveless, Lifeless, & Emotionless person can also DIE" a thousand deaths... and then the spring follows the winter season and if we are lucky we do it all again. Just one mans opinion. Nice hub.

mckbirdbks 5 years agofrom Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

You have so much to say shanaya. You have expressed your thoughts well. It seems as though you have found a place here at the Hub and caught the eye of many talented authors her. I liked your story and I am sure there will be many more.

Movie Master 5 years agofrom United Kingdom

Keep writing Shanaya...

You are a talented writer and we all want to read more of your hubs.

Best wishes my friend, MM

Audrey Hunt 5 years agofrom Nashville Tn.

Shanaya - Where are the rest of your hubs? Are you working on #4? This was amazing and you write such a wonderful hub, here. I am looking forward to your next one. Voted up and thank you!

vocalcoach~

Kawaljit kaur 5 years agofrom JALANDHAR, Punjab (India)

shanaya

Hi

Whatever u have narrated in ur story, I feel in some form or the other, if not in majority, many girls pass thru this trauma in their life. May b that we are living in male dominated society where men belong to d privileged section of d society. Women is born to BEAR. Majority of us die several times before our actual death.

A beautiful write up.

tom hellert 5 years agofrom home

Shan,

tis a sad story indeed but it seems you tried but arranged anythings never seem to work out as for when is death please read parts 1-3 of

From the beggining we feel the sadness and its turmoil. I know that in certain parts of your country, arranged marriage is still in Vogue and We think is wrong for anybody and for our Creator. Man cannot go against God! Our hearts will dictate the path of Love that is waiting around the corner and I feel sorry for that girl, that little girl inside the woman, who afterwards.. never wanted to leave.

LORD

voting up!

Cassandra Mantis 5 years agofrom UK and Nerujenia

A lot of things make sense to me after reading this hub and your hub that comes after this one. Basically her husband duped her.

If he had been honest and came clean about the other woman - before making a fool of this woman by marrying her just to appease his parents - rather than out of his feelings for this woman here - things might have been different.

In a nutshell, he broke a golden rule that I have always demanded from boyfriends or partners in the past. They had to Put Me First. If the guy won't do that and puts another person first, then forget it. I learned this from many relationships that failed on me.

If the person puts us first, and puts us above everyone else - he is worth being with for the long term.

I know that in Asian countries there are arranged marriages and the cast system. Is it fair to say that this woman has been a victim of these too? I don't want to sound judgmental to her culture, Shanaya.

Love should be about nourishment, but this woman experienced punishment and pain for reasons that are not her fault. I hope her family are there for her and understand her situation, and support her. A woman like this needs support. Best wishes, and thanks for a great hub!

Justin W Price 5 years agofrom Juneau, Alaska

interesting story, Shanaya. Tragic and passionate!

stessily 5 years ago

Shanaya: The two places which traditionally are the mainstays for love are the home of the family into which one is born and the home which one makes in a committed relationship. In both places this sensitive girl's sense of security was eroded: gradually in her childhood home, immediately in her married home. The tie that she felt to her childhood home was based on a closely defined sense of security. Was her childhood home merely a house in which she hid? Or was it a home in which she moved and lived and expressed her being as it seemed true to her at that time? There is much room for speculation there. Did it inhibit or nurture her? The same question could be asked about Emily Dickinson --- would she have been as creative and timeless as she was if she had been nudged from the fortress of her childhood home?

Apart from those who have been pronounced dead and then revived, actual physical death generally occurs once, bringing an end to a particular lifetime in the human visible spectrum here on earth. But the human heart and mind and soul are filled with many beginnings, many endings, many unfinished threads, and many deaths of hope, desire, etc.

Is it possible that this forlorn girl may some day sense the strength that is within her and will find that, despite the emotional twists and turns, she has never left herself. Her true self is still there, waiting to unfold.

Well done!

Kind regards, Stessily

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years agofrom Nepal

I'm wondering why a writer like you has written only 3 hubs. I enjoyed your story blended with poetry.

Umna Safdar 5 years ago

That was indeed a heart touching hub, so deep and full of emotions. It so grabbed my heart and I was lost in the flow.

'Behind my SMILE, Is a HURTING HEART,

Behind my LAUGH, I'm FALLING APART,

Look closely at me and you will SEE, The girl I am...Isn't me'. There was such a strength in these lines, can't explain!

As for the last part, death is really something big, don't let yourself die when you are still alive. You gotta probe your happiness for no one will come and serve it to you on a platter. Let not pessimism invade, but let optimism be a part of you. Best way to hold on is to let it go. :)

stay blessed.

lyns 5 years agofrom USA

"A Girl Who Never Wanted To Leave", Very touching hub the emotions are so felt and gotten across in this, love it, also loved the photos you placed in these as well, thanks for sharing you have a very unique talent, keep them coming. Voted up interesting, awesome. lyns 10/28 8pm__

Shanaya . . .I agree with jami. 110%! God is the omnipotent and omnipresent. God does NOT know all things contrary to social belief. He does NOT know how to fail as we do. I do suggest lovingly that you do as jami asked--talk to and with God. He cares as we do. Sincerely, and from the heart, Kenneth

jami l. pereira 5 years ago

Ms.Shanaya , I enjoyed your heartfelt poem and story so much , it brought a tear , i have been where you have been several times , got the t shirt sorta thing .sad and so hurtful . BUT ! there is always a bright side to every story , and somewhere along the way you will find your moment in the sun ,when the rain stops pouring things will brighten and you will know ,that you past is just the past and something that cannot be changed but only comforted, and it doesnt matter what happened only matters that you do not "dwell" on it , write about it, release it ALL ,and therpute yourself. For the better :) , AND ONE MORE THING , talk to God everyday , even though you think he is tired of listening to you , he isnt . Keep writng girl , this was beautiful , i voted up , awesome ,beautiful,useful(because it could help another young lady ) and interesting (because i read it in its entireity ) have a blessed evening !:)

Kenneth Avery 5 years agofrom Hamilton, Alabama

Dear shanaya, how are you? You havent a 'contact' buttton to push. This hub, I voted up and away...beautiful, sad, happy and very moving. LOVED it. I wanted to stay in touch with you, but Ive been battling with Facebook for 3 weeks about a problem they caused and WILL NOT own up to it. Anyway, I missed you. Let me know what you are up to. Kenneth

Martie Coetser 5 years agofrom South Africa

Shanaya, this story and poems touched my heart painfully. To know that the man you love does not love you but another woman, is surely one of the most painful realities to face. The same kind of pain one experiences when parents prove that they love 'anything else' more than you.

Now may I suggest that you make all the dreams of 'the girl who never wanted to leave' come true in stories like this. Let her be happy; let her enjoy all the wonders in this world. Give her all her heart's desires. Each and everyone in its own story. Now how's this for a dare?

JadedLove 5 years ago

Oh my word, Such a beautiful piece of your heart. I love the whole not the girl that you are. So much said in just those words. I felt like crying yet I smile here as images of a dream come into mind. Pisces dreamer am I and I love your style. Blessed be

voted up and so beautiful.

saddlerider1 5 years ago

This hub was filled with emotion, bitterness, sadness and heart break. It's difficult to fathom that people are forced upon each other to marry and not knowing them beforehand. I often wondered how long a marriage like that could survive. I hope you have found happiness in your life now and things have improved by you moving on with your life. Thank you for sharing your heart. Hugs

Carolee Samuda 5 years agofrom Jamaica

Very touching Shanaya. Forcing to marry someone you don't love can't be easy. Thanks for sharing.

Mike Pugh 5 years agofrom New York City

Such a beautiful hub this is, thanks for adding & also thanks for reading my hub as well. I love to find good writers that, can express themselves from deep within where it counts.

Your heart is filled with emotion & I can tell this by your writing here, & I also find that many Woman & Men today tend to have a very low self esteem to not be able to voice themselves, hopefully many can find strength through such article writings as yours on hub in the future.

where do I begin....powerful...so real and so many people in this world suffer in silance...sorry your poem hit home...to how I used to live my life not questioning etc...dont do that anymore I know who I,m and so thankful to God for it...you are a great writer...wow... very touched thank you

Mike :0))))

Jo Alexis-Hagues 5 years agofrom Bedfordshire, U.K

Hello Shanaya, I hope you're well and writing, I've just published my 2nd hub please take a look and let me know what you think.

lol Jo (tobusiness) x x

Jo Alexis-Hagues 5 years agofrom Bedfordshire, U.K

Girl, You write with so much emotion, love the photos

Go girl

lol Jo (tobusiness)

kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

You are so amazing! Loved your write but more so your compassion and love for people.

Your latest but biggest fan

Kimberly

))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((

Mike Pugh 5 years agofrom New York City

This Hub is very emotion packed & I can fully understand your position in life, if this story actually pertains to you. Life has its moments of awesomeness & down turns, but I can see you've been able to grasp at it's extreme's in such a way that your hub can bring it all together. I am a man but that doesn't mean i don't share with your emotions here.

I also had a tough experience growing up as a child, my mom was put through a great deal as well. I love when people show their true colors and fully express what it is that makes them tick as you have done here. Thanks for such a beautiful hub, I also followed you.

Hopefully you have much more of your talented writing skills can offer to us all on hub in the near future, until then.

SusieQ42 5 years ago

Wow! I'm speechless as I read this. It's a very unusual heartbreaking story!!! (which makes it a very popular hub) Loved it. I voted it up and awesome and beautiful and interesting all at the same time. Thanks for sharing your heart with me, your new friend on hub pages.

jean2011 5 years agofrom Canada

I like how you started this hub with appreciation for those who are following you on Hubpages. Good job! Your article is very touching and heart warming. I have voted your hub interesting. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you beautiful Shanaya. What a lovely way to tell a story from your heart. Thank you so much for sharing this. Please write more. Your perspective and your insight is expressed so well.

I am pleased to follow you. Maralexa

Binaya.Ghimire 5 years ago

I feel so sorry that I had not been able to spot this hub. Your narrative blended with poetry is touching.

epigramman 5 years ago

..hello my hub friend - just checking in with you and wishing you well and hoping that you are healthy and happy and content with your life. Thank you for supporting me - I always look forward to your comments and would like to see you do some more creative writing of your own, if you're up to it. stay well in the meantime and keep thinking good thoughts.

lake erie time ontario canada 1:45pm

VENZKHVAM 5 years agofrom Milk way galaxy, trying to find a more adventurous place in another galaxy with my great followers

BUT TRULY YOU HAD TOUCHED MY HEART GOOD FEELING INVOKED. KEEP ON WRITING MORE WITH WARM HUGS YOUR FRIEND

Ayse 5 years agofrom Los Angeles, CA

How beautiful are you in expressing such light from pain. Thanks so much for sharing!

:)

Mandeep Randhawa 5 years agofrom India

i've read your story again...really touching and brought down the tears into my eyes.......once again voted up.Shanaya

Author

shanaya 6 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

Hello My Dear Mandeep Ma'am! Such a GREAT & INSPIRING LADY you are. Thanks so much for stopping by, commenting and bookmarked it. LOVE YA:)

With lots of LOVE

From SHANAYA:)

Hey Apurva! Am glad you liked my HUB. Thanks so much for stopping & Commenting. and For your FOLLOW as well.

With Respect

From SHANAYA:)

Author

shanaya 6 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

Hello Sir UBANI! Thanks so much for commenting and understanding that Girls pain. Am very Thankful to you.:)

With lots of RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

My Dear Nelli Ma'am! You are such a Great Lady. Its nice to know that there are people like you with sincere appreciation.I Thank you for your Kindness & Thoughtfulness. I hope Through this HUB my MESSAGE will Spread as far as I wanted. If it happens that will be my Greatest Reward, for being at the right Time & Place for helping others. LOVE YA:)

With lots of LOVE

From SHANAYA:)

Hello my Dear Friend Qudsia! Thanks a Million for stopping by and leaving wonderful comment.

"Life is Pleasant, Death is Peaceful. Its the Transition thats Troublesome," by~ Isaac Asimov

Thanks again.

With lots of LOVE

From SHANAYA:)

Author

shanaya 6 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

My Dear Stricktlydating Ma'am! Thanks so much for stopping by & for the lovely comment. You felt the pain that is what I wanted. Thanks again. And meeting you is my Greatest Pleasure. LOVE YA:)

With lots of LOVE & RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

My Friend PURU! Thanks so much for stopping by & leaving a wonderful comment. I can understand your problem better because I was also facing the same Problem as you did. But after comming here at HUBPAGES I feel so free to write my Feelings & Emotions which I can't express. You just have to pen down everything what ever you feel. I have read your HUBS,Infact There is so much to learn from YOU. As i said am not a TECHIE PRO like you.:) LOL.

I'LL come soon with my 3rd HUB INSHA-ALLAH:)

With RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

Hello Cheekygirl! Thanks so much for stopping by & commenting. I'll surely come soon with my next HUB and hope you all will like it.:)

Hello Sir BBNIX! You are a very Wonderful & Thoughtful man.Your comment made me feel so good. All of us need the help of others and anything we can do to show are apreciation is going to make other people want to help us. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.:) You truly ROCK sir.:)

With lots of RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

Hello My Dear Bhanu Ma'am! You are such a Beautiful & lovely Lady. I appreciate your spending so much time in reading and commenting on my HUB. Thanks so much for praying also.:)I will surely read that HUB of yours. LOVE YA.:)

With lots of LOVE & RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

My Dear J.B Ma'am! Thanks so much for stopping by and comment. This is my First POEM ever. Thanks for liking it as well. LOVE YA:)

With lots of LOVE & RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

Hello DOWNPOUROFWORDS!Thanks so much for stopping by and liking my POEM as well. I have never thought I'll get so many appreciation for my 1rst POEM. Such a nice person you are.:)

With lots of RESPECT

From SHANAYA:)

apurva joshi 6 years agofrom INDIA

hey shanaya a great piece of work. was really a touching story....

mkrandhawa 6 years agofrom India

Such an emotional and touching story. Nearly brought down stream of tears from eyes and tugs in the heart.

It is so sad.

Voted up..and bookmarked for reading more and more times.

QudsiaP1 6 years ago

This was beautiful; this sadly is the truth for many women; at least women in families where the parents hold the decisions.

There are many young men and women who get oppressed and bow down to the wishes of their parents. It is amazing how the parents understood their every need when they couldn't speak or even show their emotions but as they grow up, parents sometimes somewhere along the way that their child is not a doll or a pet but is an individual with a right to live their lives.

This story is a tale told several times before yet each time it is read, each time it is written, each time it is felt it is more painful because as time passes this kind of injury, this kind of wound never heals it only grows till their remains nothing.

I agree on your thoughts about death. Sometimes you do not need a death certificate and no pulse to prove your death.

A person dies when their soul dies. You have portrayed this girl beautifully in your own uniquely wonderful way.

May God bless you and may a day come when the parents can understand the wishes of their children's soul.

Nellieanna Hay 6 years agofrom TEXAS

This story has many earmarks similar to my own. When I was 40, no amount of my determination to keep it going, to NOT rock the boat, to hang in there and stay quiet helped. It came crashing down anyway. I'd been writing poetry, though, and in its privacy, I had begun to gain strength and my own power.

It seems to me that you ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TO DO - and what NOT to do or allow!! You KNEW you kept quiet when you could have and should have spoken up. You KNEW it was not RIGHT FOR YOU and shouldn't be tolerated. And probably you could see that those around you really didn't want you to be hurt - THEY just didn't know because you hesitated to TELL THEM. And people, no matter how much they love us, cannot read our minds. They may be trying to, in doing what they're doing which doesn't fill our needs. It's not their fault - it is our own for not letting them know! It's not their fault it doesn't know or fill our true needs.

Also - we cannot always look to others to fill our needs!!! It's not realistic. They really can't, always.

Trust me, - your story is FAR FROM OVER. I am in my 80th year and continue to learn and improve my life. But I had to accept my RIGHT TO IT before I could begin. consider that my life really did begin at age 40. The crash was very hurtful in many ways and I didn't cause them directly. But I had to take my own responsibility for them, in that I allowed the circumstances, chose them really, and didn't recognize that it was all wrong so as to do something positive about it for a change at a better time. But the way it did work out was the reality and accepting that, along with my own responsibility, I could also exercise my own reality and choices from then on, with eyes more open because of the lessons learned.

You are a powerful writer and with your insight, you can be able to help others who need a boost. Good for you!

Alexander Thandi Ubani 6 years agofrom Lagos

Such an emotional and touching story. Nearly brought down stream of tears from my eyes. Sad story. Am happy you no longer have to endure under such tribulation again. God will see through

A fantastic hub and you are a great writer! Looking forward to reading more from you. Cheers!

puru13 6 years agofrom INDIA

Dear shanaya,expressing my emotions is really a problem for me and when i see you doing that,i feel there is so much to learn from you.GREAT HUB! and the situational poems were really awesome.Hope you come out with your next hub soon and keep writing poems in your hubs :)

Convey my greetings to your mother too.

StricktlyDating 6 years agofrom Australia

Wow! This story took me on an emotional journey, I could feel what she was feeling. You have an amazing talent with your writing, and I'm so looking forward to reading more of your work. And thankyou for your kind words too. It's lovely to meet you here at HubPages!

Your Well Wisher. 6 years ago

I haven't read so sad story with a wonderfully written Poem till date. I have read your Bio also. You seems very Humble & Kind Girl I must say. Have FAITH IN GOD, Everything will be FINE.

LOVE YA.

Author

shanaya 6 years agofrom Living in my Own Dreams:)

I really Appriciate all of your VALUEABLE Comments on my second HUB. And Very THANKFULL to all of you. Let me start with

My LOVELY HUB MOM {Sunnie Day}--> I am Blessed to have TWO Mother's. And both are LOVING & CARING. I Really LOVE & RESPECT my HUB MOM like my Born Mother. Thanks so very much for your Wonderful & Valueable Comment.:)

With Lots of Hugs & Kisses

SHANAYA:)

THE GREAT EPI Sir

Thanking you wouldn't be enough word to use. You are Amazing SIR. Yes its You only who told me 'Just Write From Your Heart' And see am here again with my second HUB. Without your Guidance it might be Impossible. Thanks for Your Valueable Comment & for Forwarding my HUB.:)

With Lots of Respect

From SHANAYA:)

The Very Loving & Wonderful Lady EIDDWIN Ma'am--> The way You showed YOUR LOVE for YOUR DAUGHTER {ERIN}, Its just ASTONISHING & REMARKABLE. ERIN was Lucky to have YOU as her MOM I must say. And am also Lucky for having you here as well. Thanks so very much for Stopping by and for Your Valueable Comment.:)

With Lots of Hugs & Kisses

SHANAYA:)

downpourofwords 6 years agofrom Dallas, Texas, USA

I loved the poem a lot. Keep writing. You certainly got some ounces of talent in you. keep the writing candle burning. As i said before, this is too good for just your second hub. God bless

Mrs. J. B. 6 years agofrom Southern California

What an amazing story filled with poetry. Many things happen in life that can make one's spirit die. The soul becomes dark and heavy. Very good hub.

Bhawana Salaria 6 years agofrom Australia

Thanks Darling,You are very down to earth and loving girl.I like it.

Good Luck

Bhanu

Bhawana Salaria 6 years agofrom Australia

I really like your hub.It is really very emotional and touching hub i am very upset for that poor girl who got nothing due to her kind nature except pain and tears .I pray for showers of happiness in her life.

Its great expression.I like it.

I will wait for your next hub.I have written a hub somewhat similar to your, you can read in my profile,Bhanu.jas

Bhawana

bbnix 6 years agofrom Southern California

I do very much like your second hub, shanaya!!

Goosebumps, from us? I'm sure they look good on you, like a new dress, with your beautiful smile the best part, I bet.

Thanks for your special thank you to us - it means so much..

I have a special friend who has a fear that she's working on of going outside and meeting new people. Life is so chaotic, I think it would be nice to stay away from it all, perhaps for a bit.

I'm sorry for the notion of feeling love, then seemingly, no more. It is one of life's greatest pains, and nothing else makes you feel so alone. I know that feeling well.

To this day, it is my most difficult battle, feeling alone.

I'm sorry for a smile that overshadows a hurting heart. Our hearts were meant for flying...not hurting....

I'm sorry there was no one there for her, calling for her, that life as "lifeless, hopeless, loveless, & emotionless," nothing could be more painful, like a knife through our hearts.

I agree "that death arises," in the face of such agony, where there is "no hope," "no understanding,""no reason to live,"'when there are no answers," and I can only whisper, I'm sorry, and would say to her that "I love you," and hope, all that pain to fly away...

Greg Schweizer 6 years agofrom Corona, California.

Hi Shanaya, In your picture you look so young to have this story in your heart, though a story told beautifuly, it is a sad one. People die in many ways when they don't get the love they "need" in their lives. Sadly, some people die and still go through their daily routines like a robot just existing on this earth. Anyway, a story very well told. And your picture choices were very good also. Greg, PS, Sunnie Day is a very good choice for a mother. She is very inspiring.

Eiddwen 6 years agofrom Wales

Hi Shanaya,

This is abeautiful poem and so very touching. I find that by writing and sharing we do lighten our load and I hope that you will also sense this.

I would carry on writing if I were you because you evidently have a great talent .

Take care my friend.

Eiddwen.

epigramman 6 years ago

..well this is quite an epic piece of writing my dear friend and as I always say: if you write from the heart the mind will always follow and you have succeeded admirably here on both counts - and I love how you told a story with so much power and honesty - it unfolded for me as if I was watching a movie - please keep writing because it's obvious to me that you are the proverbial tip of the iceberg ...... to greatness!!!

By the way I am posting this to my Facebook page with pride to show the rest of the world (they will get a direct link back here) and hopefully you will gain some new fans/writers .....

Sunnie Day 6 years ago

Good Morning My hub daugher,,,I am so happy to be the first one to read your heartfelt poem and story. You poem and story had so much substance and such a great subject of love and loss. I am so happy you posted another hub. Just keep going..let your light shine. I think it was terrific!Beautiful and awesome..