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How to manage social anxiety

Probably one of the most common anxiety disorder is social anxiety. It can create problems in situations that many of us take for granted, like being at the till in a supermarket or even socialising with a group of friends. Social phobia sufferers can isolate themselves from friends and family, which can lead to further problems both in the home and even at the office. But it can be beaten.

When is social anxiety a problem?

This will vary from one person to another as social anxiety can show itself in many different situations including

talking in front of people, whether giving a presentation at work or chatting with others at a party

reading aloud or writing, especially whilst being watched

queuing, such as lining up in banks or supermarkets

any occasion where you feel you might become the centre of attention

Symptoms of social anxiety disorder

Social anxiety is more than just shyness, or being 'the quiet one'. It can completely overwhelm you in social situations so that you feel you are just not coping. This might include

negative thinking, such as 'I'll feel silly' or 'other people will think I'm silly'

blushing and feeling self-conscious

feeling shaky, dizzy or disoriented

upset tummy or 'butterflies'

heart racing or thumping, fast breathing

You might have social anxiety if you regularly feel like this around everyday activities, such as:

meeting strangers

talking in groups or starting conversations

speaking on the telephone

talking to authority figures

working

eating or drinking in company

shopping

Not dealt with, the levels of anxiety and fear can increase and generalise, so that it’s difficult to complete daily tasks like going shopping or even posting a letter. You might also find you

worry excessively about being criticised

find yourself avoiding contact with people

have low self-worth and feel insecure, which may create problems with intimate relationships

experience feelings of loneliness or depression

struggle to relax

depend more on alcohol and drugs to get through difficult situations

Reducing social anxiety

Reduce your worrying by applying logical thinking to generalisations like 'I'm going to make a mess of it'. How realistic is this?

Don’t try to be a mind reader - even if there is a chance of your fears coming true (we all make mistakes sometimes) will people really judge you that harshly? How would you feel if your roles were reversed?

Learn breathing exercises or other ways to relax, so you can feel calm and in control when under stress. You could always download the free relaxation audio from this site - arrive five minutes before your presentation or interview and find a quiet, private spot to use it.

Challenge your fears - avoiding them will only make things worse. This doesn’t mean charging right in there and giving a presentation to 1000 people, try making a list of the situations that worry you, start with the easiest and work up.

Improve your ability to communicate by learning assertiveness and similar skills.

Choose to socialise in places where you have something specific to do or talk about with the people there - it’s much easier than polite chit-chat. Joining clubs or volunteering are great ways to do this.

Hypnotherapy and social anxiety

Plainly, social anxiety is a devastating problem if left to expand without check; if you struggle with the self-help ideas, the good thing is that hypnotherapy can be very effective at relieving social anxiety at all stages of its development.

Hypnotherapy can help you identify and change any inappropriate beliefs or worries which have created the emotions of fear and worry.

Sometimes this simply boosting your confidence and helping you feel stronger in social situations, sometimes it means helping you get past negative experiences you've had in the past. Either way, we aim to re-educate your unconscious mind, so you can change your thinking, re-establish positivity and experience feelings of control and confidence.

You might also begin to see significant changes in other areas of your life; for example, by interacting with others more easily and regaining control of your feelings you can enjoy a relaxing night out, reconnect with friends or colleagues, or maybe even ask for raise!

Debbie's Blog

Debbie Waller is a professional hypnotherapist, specialising in stress, anxiety and related issues. She also offers EMDR which is used for trauma, PTSD, phobias and OCD and publishes hypnotherapy-for-ibs.co.uk for those interested in using hypnotherapy to relieve the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome.

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