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Oct 12, 2018

Adulting Sucks

I hear young people say it all the time but trust me kids, I'm retired and adulting still sucks.

Take me for instance. All I want to do is ride my antique Yamaha motorcycle but like most old motorcycles it needs repairs. I no longer dream of coast to coast rides, living on the back of a bike, bumming around the country... Hell, I did all that when I was young and there's not near as much to see now as there was then. No, I just mostly want to do day trips to the mountains or the beach and back, get some wind in my face, and forget about everything else in that zen state I'm only able to achieve on two wheels.

But nooooooo, I get my monthly Social Security check and its new tires for the truck, a new set of coils for the car, new mufflers... Last month it was replacing the floor in the combination laundry/pantry and installing a new water heater which consumed all but $38 of my monthly check. And that was with me doing the actual work myself. It's a good thing I know how to fix things.

Just this week I got this month's Social Security check and where does my motorcycle repair money go? To buy a new microwave that will for the most part heat water for instant coffee, heat leftovers I'm bored eating, and pop microwave popcorn.

I remember popping popcorn in steel baskets over a campfire and being perfectly happy with cowboy coffee. Do you know what cowboy coffee is? Cowboy coffee is when you boil water in a pot with no strainers and no filters, then dump the coffee grounds in, let it boil for a minute then take it off the fire or the stove and let it set for a few minutes so most of the coffee grounds settle to the bottom of the pot. Then you gently pour yourself a cup. Yes, you'll get a few coffee grounds in your coffee but you'll get more caffeine that way.

As for left overs. We used to never have left overs 'cause we ate everything we cooked the first time 'round. And if there were leftovers they were used to make something different. For example, rice left over from dinner was mixed with butter, sugar, and milk and served as a hot breakfast cereal but these days it's just warmed over rice.

But I don't run the kitchen, I just buy the appliances when I'd rather do something juvenile like buying motorcycle parts.

As a matter of fact, if it were left entirely up to me I would sell the house and the car, buy an old garage somewhere and move in it. No more mowing the lawn. I'd live in one corner of the shop and keep my bike and tools in the rest. No more adulting, just play. I'd raise tilapia in a 300 gallon tank in some dark corner so I'd always have fresh fish and let a few folks hang around from time to time until they found me impossible to get along with.

Then I'd go for a ride.

After all, for a lot of us this adulting only gets harder as we get older.