George Clooney Is Engaged, So Keep An Eye Out For Flying Pigs Tonight

In news that no one ever saw coming, George Clooney reportedlygot engaged to his new girlfriend, Amal Alamuddin. In related news, Stacy Keibler’s currently running around yelling “are you freaking kidding me? Like, seriously! SERIOUSLY!”

”George and Amal are trying to keep things very low-key but they also aren’t really trying to hide this, it doesn’t seem. I think it’s like they want the people they love to know that this is real, that they plan on being together forever.”

Amal is a lawyer- she’s actually really different from his usual type. I have no idea if they are actually engaged, but she’s pretty professionally accomplished. She specializes in international law and human rights law.
If it is true, it unfortunately ties into that wonderfully misogynistic old chestnut that, “there are girls a man will sleep with, and women a man will marry.”

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I thought that would never happen. I mean, I really thought he was waiting for me.

It’s funny to me that as I read this, I’m watching John Slattery during a scene of “Mad Men”– the man who has been married for a long time to Clooney’s only wife ever, Talia Balsam. I always wondered what made Clooney against remarriage after her. He did say “never again,” but if this engagement is true, never say never.