Man Falls Victim to Funniest Penis Enlargement Scam Ever

If I were a penis enlarger manufacturer, I would be very clear in my belief that there is absolutely no shame in using a penis enlargement product. Furthermore, I would be steadfast in my insistence that penis enlargement products work, despite the growing (heh) evidence that they do not.

Since I am not a penis enlarger manufacturer, I'll go ahead and say that 1) all the creams, pills, and demented "stretching devices" on the market are a bunch of B.S., and 2) it is TOTALLY embarrassing to be caught ordering a penis enlarger online. Especially, as in the case of a misfortunate Malaysian man, if you receive this product in return for your hard-earned cash.

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A man identified only as Ong spent the equivalent of $165 on a penis enlarger, only to receive a magnifying glass in return. The item came with a handy instruction sheet to prevent injury to his newly engorged manhood: "Do not use in sunlight."

Now technically, a magnifying glass WOULD in fact enlarge your penis, but for some reason, Ong took the matter to Malaysia's customer complaints bureau, triggering the following statement from the bureau's chairman, Mr. Seri Michael Chong:

As you can imagine, he is feeling rather disgruntled.

Chong adds that the old magnifying-glass-for-a-wiener-embiggener trick has been going around for a while:

The unfortunate gentleman is just one of many who have fallen victims to these kind of misleading scams. Three people lost a total of more than £15,000 to these scams this year alone.

Well, I for one am utterly deflated to hear this poor guy got the shaft. What is shlong with people, anyway? I sure hope Malaysia beefs up their fraud prevention, and the third arm of justice ultimately prevails.

As for Mr. Ong, he should embrace being a grower rather than a shower, and remember that age-old wisdom: