Woody Allen famously said that "Eighty-percent of success in life is showing up." Apparently, it's 100% when you're the undemocratically-elected President of a small oil-rich Central Asian country as President Gurbanguli Berdymukhamedov proved when he showed up to Turkmenistan's inaugural race in a Bugatti Veyron, asked if he could join the field, and promptly won the whole damn thing.

It's good to be the King-like President.

According to reports, Turkmenistan's fitness-obsessed leader just happened to show up in his patriotically-painted $1.6 billion millon Bugatti with a racing suit in tow. He then turned to an official and asked "Can I take part?"

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Berdymukhamedov then hopped into the racing suit and behind the wheel of a Turkish-built Volkicar, which is a little race car powered by a Yamaha engine.

He won, of course, setting the best lap time and taking the checkered flag. Can you imagine what kind of death-wish you'd have to have to pass the President of Turkmenistan? No one did.

What's even sadder about this whole thing is Berdymukhamedov is a reformer by Turkmeni standards. The old one was a brutal megalomaniac who would have raced the tiny motorcycle-cars while still behind the wheel of his Bugatti.

Then he'd have had all the losers boiled alive for his amusement. Because they were losers.

At least this guy let everyone live and didn't name January after himself. And to give him some credit, if that's really him driving in the video he's actually not bad.

How sad would it be to secretly drive like Senna but be a totalitarian ruler and never be able to prove it?