Two alumni groups, Durham Friends and the Oyster River Alumni Association, are raising funds to assist Benjamin Wheeler’s family with unexpected expenses. ORAA had already received more than $1,600 in donations late Tuesday afternoon.

David Wheeler is a former film and television actor, according to a profile on the website of the Flagpole Radio Cafe theater, a performing group in Connecticut. Music surrounded Wheeler’s young son, Benjamin, as he grew up with his mother and father.

Francine Wheeler, is a music educator and singer-songwriter. Sometimes the musical mother would try out tunes on her own children, and some tunes that she made up for Ben as a baby eventually found their way onto a CD, she told the Newtown Bee newspaper.

Francine and David left behind stage careers in New York City when they moved to Newtown with Benjamin and his older brother, Nate.

Brooklyn resident Brian Hotaling attended Oyster River with David Wheeler in the 1970s, and stayed in contact with him when the two were both living in New York City. Hotaling said Wheeler and his wife moved to Connecticut within the last several years to raise their kids in a quieter community, not unlike Durham.

David Wheeler’s father, Ellsworth Wheeler, was an oceanographer at the University of New Hampshire, and the family relocated to Durham from California, Hotaling said.

“He was trying to give his kids the kind of experience he had growing up,” Hotaling said.

With a population of roughly 27,000, and a geographical territory encompassing about 60 square miles, Newtown is larger than Durham, but the two New England communities are not entirely dissimilar. The outbreak of bloodshed has been chilling to school administrators here.

“A lot of us here are thinking Newtown, Conn., is not that different from Durham, N.H., in terms of the demographics and the type of community it is,” Oyster River High School Principal Todd Allen said Tuesday. “For us, it’s caused us to go, ‘Wow, if it can happen there, it can happen anywhere.’ It’s a real eye-opener.”

David Wheeler and his wife are members of Trinity Episcopal Church in Connecticut. The church’s website noted that Nate, also a student at Sandy Hook Elementary School, was not harmed in Friday’s shooting.

The Connecticut Funeral Directors Association issued the statement below on behalf of the Wheeler family:

“Ben Wheeler was an irrepressibly bright and spirited boy whose love of fun and excitement at the wonders of life and the world could rarely be contained. His rush to experience life was headlong, creative and immediate. He was a devoted fan of his older brother, Nate, and the two of them together filled the house with the noise of four children. He loved the local soccer program, often running across the field long after it was actually necessary, but always smiling and laughing as he moved the ball nearly always at full tilt. He was becoming a strong swimmer and loved his lessons. Eager to learn, he couldn’t wait to get to school to see his teacher and his growing group of new first grade friends. Ben was also a member of Tiger Scout Den 6 which met at the Sandy Hook Volunteer Firehouse. Earlier in December, Ben performed at his piano recital and sitting still long enough to play one piece was an accomplishment he reveled in. He loved The Beatles, lighthouses, and the number 7 train to Sunnyside, Queens. In a conversation with Francine before school on Friday, he said, “I still want to be an architect, but I also want to be a paleontologist, because that’s what Nate is going to be and I want to do everything Nate does.”

Benjamin Wheeler is scheduled to be buried Thursday at the church in a private ceremony. Funeral arrangements are being handled by the B.C. Bailey Funeral Home.

To donate to the Oyster River Alumni Association’s fund to benefit the Wheeler family, visit http://bit.ly/WmPBvf. Donations to the fund are tax-deductible and will be dispensed in their entirety to the Wheeler family, minus PayPal transaction fees.

Donations can also be made to a fund established by the family. Send checks to the Benjamin Wheeler Fund, c/o Trinity Episcopal Church, 36 Main Street, Newtown, CT 06470.