Jasondcrum: I fully agree with the word 'hazard' when you combine my ass, a speedo and a couple of spun-up magnatron tubes in a big pot of boiling water thats probably spiked with a hint of some dudes baby batter.

Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of juneIn a kenworth pullin’ logsCab-over pete with a reefer onAnd a jimmy haulin’ hogsWe is headin’ for bear on i-one-oh’bout a mile outta shaky townI says, pig pen, this here’s the rubber duck.And I’m about to put the hammer down.

[chorus]’cause we got a little convoyRockin’ through the night.Yeah, we got a little convoy,Ain’t she a beautiful sight?Come on and join our convoyAin’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy’cross the u-s-a.Convoy!

[on the cb]Ah, breaker, pig pen, this here’s the duck. and, you wanna back off them hogs? yeah, 10-4, ’bout five mile or so. ten, roger. them hogs is gettin’ in-tense up here.

By the time we got into tulsa town,We had eighty-five trucks in all.But they’s a roadblock up on the cloverleaf,And them bears was wall-to-wall.Yeah, them smokies is thick as bugs on a bumper;They even had a bear in the air!I says, callin’ all trucks, this here’s the duck.We about to go a-huntin’ bear.

[chorus]’cause we got a great big convoyRockin’ through the night.Yeah, we got a great big convoy,Ain’t she a beautiful sight?Come on and join our convoyAin’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy’cross the u-s-a.Convoy!

[on the cb]Ah, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, pig pen? negatory, pig pen; you’re still too close. yeah, them hogs is startin’ to close up my sinuses. mercy sakes, you better back off another ten.

Well, we rolled up interstate 44Like a rocket sled on rails.We tore up all of our swindle sheets,And left ’em settin’ on the scales.By the time we hit that chi-town,Them bears was a-gettin’ smart:They’d brought up some reinforcementsFrom the illinoise national guard.There’s armored cars, and tanks, and jeeps,And rigs of ev’ry size.Yeah, them chicken coops was full’a bearsAnd choppers filled the skies.Well, we shot the line and we went for brokeWith a thousand screamin’ trucksAn’ eleven long-haired friends a’ jesusIn a chartreuse micra-bus.

[on the cb]Ah, rubber duck to sodbuster, come over. yeah, 10-4, sodbuster? lissen, you wanna put that micra-bus right behind that suicide jockey? yeah, he’s haulin’ dynamite, and he needs all the help he cT.

Well, we laid a strip for the jersey shoreAnd prepared to cross the lineI could see the bridge was lined with bearsBut I didn’t have a dog-goned dime.I says, pig pen, this here’s the rubber duck.We just ain’t a-gonna pay no toll.So we crashed the gate doing ninety-eightI says let them truckers roll, 10-4.

[chorus]’cause we got a mighty convoyRockin’ through the night.Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,Ain’t she a beautiful sight?Come on and join our convoyAin’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy’cross the u-s-a.

Convoy! ah, 10-4, pig pen, what’s your twenty?Convoy! omaha? well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. well, mercyConvoy! sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your...Convoy! tail. we’ll catch you on the flip-flop. this here’s the rubber duck on the side.Convoy! we gone. ’bye,’bye.

Originally Posted By 89grand:So are you guys all going to cut me off going 15 mph slower than I was just going so you can pass the rig in front of you going 55 mph while you pass going 56 mph?

You mean because you weren't paying attention to the merge because a cell phone was glued to your ear ?

Then yes,yes we will.

Or,yes.It's a form a payback for not letting a truck in that is trying to make a right hand turn on to a busy street.

Seriously,I have no idea what you are trying to convey.

trying to say how, at the very last microsecond, you decide to get in the fast lane and slow down the whole column. at least you could wait 4 seconds and let everyone go by or change lanes before i get there. although I do know you got that cruise control going and refuse to kill momentum because of some pesky cars.

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:Actually, stories about lot lizards would probably be damn entertaining!

Originally Posted By nationwide:

Originally Posted By Zippy_The_Wonderdog:Can we therefore expect a lot of threads about hemorrhoids? Rest stops with the best lot lizards?

Would you like to???

Lot Lizard story? Here’s one.

I’m not going to describe just how bad Chicago was. I had a flat tire, had trouble finding places to park, kept having bums try to sell me gold chains, my load out of there got canceled. Traffic is a nightmare in Chicago too.

Anyway I finally hook to a trailer at night and hit the road. I’m completely exhausted so when I find a truckstop I decide to spend the night. They wanted $5.00 for parking and I figured that was fair enough. I managed to get showered but don’t bother with the meal, I was too tired.

I wake up about 4:00 AM hoping to get a jump on traffic. I go into the truck stop to get a couple packs of crackers for breakfast and head out to my truck. Then I get stopped by another frickin bum wanting cash. I end up giving him my crackers just so he’ll leave me alone. (I don’t really think his kid in the car was hurting for food but you never know.)

I do a quick pretrip, fill out my logbook, and reach to press in the airbrakes when I hear a knock on the door. I look out and see the ugliest black woman I have ever seen in my life. I’m talking matted hair and messed up teeth, completely unwashed, and a soul dead look that’s hard to describe.

But I was raised to be a proper Southern gentleman. There was a woman who might be in trouble and need help. It didn’t matter what she looked like I couldn’t just ignore her. So, I roll down the window and ash her if I can help her.

She says, “You want me to suck your dick?”

As I said I was raised to be a proper Southern gentleman and you should always be polite to women. So I said the most polite thing I could considering the circumstances…

“No thank you. I’d just as soon you didn’t.”

I don’t think anyone had ever said that too her before. She just said “What?” and I repeated, “I’d just as soon you didn’t.” With that I pressed in the airbrake release, put the truck in gear, and pulled out headed for Dallas.

BTW: Give big trucks their room! If you never drove one, you have no clue how different it is and how hard it is to see cars. I have had 5 vehicles so close in on my tail that none of them could be seen in the mirrors.

You HATE trucker stereotypes, don't you? I recall posting some hillarious examples of CB slang (not used much anymore), and you had about the same reaction.

My father and brother in law are both professional drivers, and seem to react about the same way. Yet, I walk into a truck stop and LAWDY MAMA! There's a group of dudes sitting in the corner doing their damndest to confirm every trucker stereotype conceived by man.

I honestly believe the stereotypical truck driver will someday be replaced by professional men wearing polo shirts and ditching their CB's for 2m and GMRS radios. Hell, it's already happening.

Jasondcrum: I fully agree with the word 'hazard' when you combine my ass, a speedo and a couple of spun-up magnatron tubes in a big pot of boiling water thats probably spiked with a hint of some dudes baby batter.

You HATE trucker stereotypes, don't you? I recall posting some hillarious examples of CB slang (not used much anymore), and you had about the same reaction.

My father and brother in law are both professional drivers, and seem to react about the same way. Yet, I walk into a truck stop and LAWDY MAMA! There's a group of dudes sitting in the corner doing their damndest to confirm every trucker stereotype conceived by man.

I honestly believe the stereotypical truck driver will someday be replaced by professional men wearing polo shirts and ditching their CB's for 2m and GMRS radios. Hell, it's already happening.

NOT!, it is sooooo diverse now, you cannot tell a driver from anyone else, til they say something.

Originally Posted By 89grand:So are you guys all going to cut me off going 15 mph slower than I was just going so you can pass the rig in front of you going 55 mph while you pass going 56 mph?

Can you please diagram that. I read it three times and still don't understand it.

Yeah you know what? I just read it and it doesn't make any sense to me either and I wrote it.

Here's what I was trying to describe. The other day I'm cruising down I-10 going about 70mph, then some jackass trucker changes lanes right into my lane going 56mph making me slam on my brakes so that he could pass the rig he was behind that's going 55 mph. So he needed to cut me off to go 56mph, because the other idiot trucker that was in front of him before he cut me off was going 55mph.

Originally Posted By 89grand:So are you guys all going to cut me off going 15 mph slower than I was just going so you can pass the rig in front of you going 55 mph while you pass going 56 mph?

Can you please diagram that. I read it three times and still don't understand it.

Yeah you know what? I just read it and it doesn't make any sense to me either and I wrote it.

Here's what I was trying to describe. The other day I'm cruising down I-10 going about 70mph, then some jackass trucker changes lanes right into my lane going 56mph making me slam on my brakes so that he could pass the rig he was behind that's going 55 mph. So he needed to cut me off to go 56mph, because the other idiot trucker that was in front of him before he cut me off was going 55mph.

He was wrong, I cant argue.

BUT could you imagine that while NOT having the braking power you have in your car?cut your braking ability by 2/3's that is what braking in a big truck is like. I , unfortunatly get to hear that response all the time " they[4wheeler] can stop on a dime" My response: "Get your slow fucking ass out of the lane and drive like you got some sense, Ignorant mother fucker". I talk to truck drivers the same way I cuss out 4-wheelers, cb, interweb, and hell face to face if I can.

Think of it this way, right or wrong, right of way or inconvience, when Car vs truck, car loses.Wanna go home or ya wanna go to the morgue?Drive with that in mind, and you'll live longer and so will I

Originally Posted By 89grand:So are you guys all going to cut me off going 15 mph slower than I was just going so you can pass the rig in front of you going 55 mph while you pass going 56 mph?

Can you please diagram that. I read it three times and still don't understand it.

Yeah you know what? I just read it and it doesn't make any sense to me either and I wrote it.

Here's what I was trying to describe. The other day I'm cruising down I-10 going about 70mph, then some jackass trucker changes lanes right into my lane going 56mph making me slam on my brakes so that he could pass the rig he was behind that's going 55 mph. So he needed to cut me off to go 56mph, because the other idiot trucker that was in front of him before he cut me off was going 55mph.

Ok,that makes sense.Personally,I don't cut off cars like that,plus in MA trucks aren't allowed in the fast lane.Just keep in mind,we are cut off 100's of times a day by ignorant drivers that have no business on the road around other people.

We try to stay in the slow lane,until we see some idiot on a cell phone trying to merge on the freeway going 40 MPH.Being as you have 3 seconds to make a decision,sometimes you have to move over to the middle lane to avoid the numbnuts merging.I always look at the driver and can see whether or not they are looking behind them,or they are just looking ahead not paying attention to what's behind them.During this 3 seconds,you have to determine what is the safest route.

I ALWAYS choose moving over and slowing down the faster cars.It's much better than having the merger drive right into your wheels,therefore killing himself and causing a major accident.

If people learned to pay attention and merge PROPERLY,the general population would have less problems with the way truckers drive.Granted the car carriers are insane,but that's another issue

Personally,I use the "Pay it Forward" option.If,during my day a car gives me a break,I will give another car a break.IE: getting onto a crowded street.The frequency of "Pay it Forward" is about 1 time a week.People rarely give me breaks.

You HATE trucker stereotypes, don't you? I recall posting some hillarious examples of CB slang (not used much anymore), and you had about the same reaction.

My father and brother in law are both professional drivers, and seem to react about the same way. Yet, I walk into a truck stop and LAWDY MAMA! There's a group of dudes sitting in the corner doing their damndest to confirm every trucker stereotype conceived by man.

I honestly believe the stereotypical truck driver will someday be replaced by professional men wearing polo shirts and ditching their CB's for 2m and GMRS radios. Hell, it's already happening.

No, I hate truck drivers. All of them. Nothing but low life POS if you ask me (and it appears you just did )

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Hey, breaker 1-9, is this where to hook-up with some of that good trucker speed? Nuttin like a good truck-stop whore, a little trucker speed, or maybe a little rest stop gay sex.Sorry, am I the only one starting off the weekend a little early.

I regularly drive in and around Atlanta, and there are always trucks running around. I make it a habit to always watch behind me to see if trucks are gaining on me, and if so, move over. I mean, me, I'm on the interstate because I'm going to the national forest for some plinking; this guy is on the I to make money. I can respect that, and I do.

I'll also regularly slow down and block other cars from getting in front of me so that a truck can get over in heavy traffic because no one else will.

I have nothing against truckers, they have difficult jobs, and they are crucial to the smooth operation of the entire country -- I think that demands some respect.

Originally Posted By mr0w1:I regularly drive in and around Atlanta, and there are always trucks running around. I make it a habit to always watch behind me to see if trucks are gaining on me, and if so, move over. I mean, me, I'm on the interstate because I'm going to the national forest for some plinking; this guy is on the I to make money. I can respect that, and I do.

I'll also regularly slow down and block other cars from getting in front of me so that a truck can get over in heavy traffic because no one else will.

I have nothing against truckers, they have difficult jobs, and they are crucial to the smooth operation of the entire country -- I think that demands some respect.

HOLY SHIT A four wheeler that understands!!

Thanx man, id buy you dinner, but I only "pass through" hotlanta, and I hate the "watermelon 500" (I-285), also affectionatley known as the "fried Chicken 400" too

I really drive like I know I can wipe out an entire family in the blink of an eye, nore of us need to do so.

Think abou this ARFCOMers, with out us you'd be holdin yer guns yelling "BANG... BANG....bang bang!! cause youd have NO rounds to fire.

Originally Posted By Outsider_10fp:HOLY SHIT A four wheeler that understands!!

Not a professional driver, but this four wheeler did 2k miles in the last week, and generally does 60-65k/year.

I got the biggest boost to my ego this week when I was complimented for my driving by a pair of big truck drivers on the CB: "Sittin' in the rocket chair, doin' all the right things and not bein' annoying. Keepin' back far enough, and poppin' out ev'ry once in a while to let me know yer there. It's been a pleasure driving with ya."

Next time you non-truck drivers want to pass, cut off, or merge between a couple of semis, realize that those guys are sitting in a vehicle that weighs more than 10x yours, brakes slower, accelerates like a Yugo, and are engaged in the business of getting damn near every product you've ever bought to your local store. Learn to be courteous, slow down for a second and let the faster trucks around the slower ones (they'll get back in the right lane, honest), and for Pete's sake; get the hell out of the way of a merging truck and/or tap the brakes on your way into traffic if there's a semi in the right lane...chances are he can't get over.

If the Exact driver that was with me from the 260 to the 88 rest stop on 80 Westbound in PA on Wednesday is reading, thanks for the compliment and the ride. Both were much appreciated.