A guy I work with is a texting fanatic.. No problem, but he's a terrible speller in the first place, and compounds it by making up new abbreviations. About half the time I end up calling him and asking what the hell that last text was supposed to mean.

Any cops going through his records will give up after trying to figure out what "kthnds cjl9r bdy" means...

the801:uh-oh. now the illuminati knows when and where i'm going to meet my cousin for lunch. it's an italian place. italians are facist. it's a byob place and she's bringing a bottle of wine - the illuminati know our weakness!

this is the end of civilization.

I'm pretty sure the Illuminati is tired of seeing pictures of semi-erect junk and rambling texts from ex-lovers.

uh-oh. now the illuminati knows when and where i'm going to meet my cousin for lunch. it's an italian place. italians are facist. it's a byob place and she's bringing a bottle of wine - the illuminati know our weakness!