Suarez was suspended from the World Cup for fanging an Italian, the third time he's bitten an opponent, and Uruguay was run out of the World Cup.

And the good people of Uruguay, the wealthy oligarchs and the impoverished peasants, were sad. Suarez? Bite this:

Nah!

"My vote goes to Ann Coulter and her singular point of view about soccer played in the U.S. during World Cup Futbol (Soccer)," wrote Jane Sinclair.

Coulter, the wildly theatrical right-wing provocateur, ripped on soccer and used all the hoary cliches she could find as the U.S. men's national team fought for its life in Brazil.

"I think the citizens of the world would call that being 'the Ugly American,'" said Sinclair. "Stick to what you know, Ann."

What she knows is craving attention. In this Coulter is remarkably similar to her leftist twin, Bill Maher, the acerbic HBO comic who regularly bashes Christianity to provoke a response.

Wild rumors that Maher and Coulter were separated at birth are unfounded, but I can imagine the pair of them starring in some future "X-Men" movie: as harpies with blue skin and leathery wings, hovering over picnic tables and bespoiling the meals of young soccer-loving, underemployed American voters.

Soccer trolls aren't worth the effort during the World Cup. But my sons love the beautiful game, as do their friends, and they all detest Coulter now. And it's possible they could all turn liberal because of her dang foolishness.

And that I will not abide. Ann Coulter?

Nah!Feesa etho.

There's more. Ginny Griffith, 34, of Kansas, set a towel on fire, hoping to burn a small spider in her house. She burned her house down instead.

And Hollywood star Shia LaBeouf got drunk in New York, and during a performance of "Cabaret" he began patting the behinds of perfect strangers and was arrested.

Ginny, Shia, blow on it. Nah!

I'm nominating the city of San Francisco. That city foolishly, and selfishly, rejected "Star Wars" creator George Lucas' plans for a museum of stuff he thinks is cool. And that prompted Mayor Rahm Emanuel to promote the idea for the Chicago lakefront, where it doesn't belong.

So when Chicago Teachers Union boss Karen Lewis begins talking of Rahm as King of the Ewoks, or Mayor Jar Jar Binks, then don't blame me. Blame San Francisco. They started it.

Nah!

Another nominee is the crazed Russian lawmaker Oleg Mikheyev, who hates high-heeled shoes on beautiful young Russian women.

He thinks high heels are bad for their health. Agence France Presse reports that angry women have stopped talking to him.

"John, my wife is a tall blonde from Poland," wrote Mikheyev's nominator, lawyer Zbigniew Kois. "Need I say more? Russian women in high heels are a national treasure more valuable than the entire Crimea. To throw that away is treasonous."

I'm not an expert on Crimea. But I sure am tired of big government bossing women around. Oleg Mikheyev, look upon your works and despair.

Nah!

Now comes Facebook. The social media behemoth was exposed the other day to have planted happy and sad news stories on users' news feeds to secretly study our emotions.

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