To be annoyed at my SIL??

I had a baby last week, by c section. DH and I have had no visitors apart from the midwife and my mum for an hour while still in hospital. DHs mum wants to visit but is 2.5 hours away by public transport. We said not yet, to give me a chance to recover and also get the hang of feeding her. I don't feel comfortable having her travel all that way as I will feel mean asking her to leave after a short while- we are in a flat so there is little space.

DH received a text from his sister saying that we had upset his mum and she shouldn't have to make an appointment to see her granddaughter. She says we are being unreasonable and life is too short to wait another couple of weeks.

I'm tired, emotional, sore and sensitive and just don't want people I'm not normally comfortable around in my space- we don't get on that well. AIBU in just saying no for a little while longer? SIL knows that my mum has visited and said that evidences my willingness to have visits but that I am just being picky about who. That's kind of true- I'm a lot more comfortable with my own mother and even then she's only been for an hour!

Its a difficult one. I can understand why your MIL might feel a bit upset that your mum has seen your DD and she hasn't. I wonder if a compromise might be better. She comes to visit for 1hr then DH takes her out for a bit e.g. for lunch whilst the baby naps and then she pops in for a short visit 30 mins before she leaves?

I think you are being slightly ur the baby is your husbands child too so his mum is no doubt really excited to see and welcome the baby. The sil should have maybe called instead of texting but I do think the baby's paternal grandmother should be allowed to come and see and welcome baby. She no doubt feels pushed out and I can't say I blame her.

It's your child,totally up to you who you have visit but yes YABUI think it would have easier to just let her visit you in the hospital like your mum did.You have hurt your MIL feelings as the other GM you should at least try and treat her the same when it comes to seeing her grandchild.Can SIL not bring her for a short visit?

I agree with Flicktheswitch, why doesn't your husband talk to his mother, explain how you are feeling and everyone come to an agreement? I understand that you don't want a long visit, I understand that having had my ILs plus SIL and DN descend on me post c section with twins for most of a day. Apparently it was nice for me to have lots of loving family around. I went to bed.

You cannot have your own Mum visiting but not your MIL, it is totally unfair. Regardless of whether you like her personally, she is a grandmother to your DD exactly the same as your Mum and you have to allow them equal access if they want it.

Having said that, your SIL shouldn't be interfering but I expect she is upset on her Mum's behalf.