The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.8.13

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily retreat from your conscience. A place where you’re free to make wild assumptions about celebrities based on a single awkwardly timed photograph. Gay sex, you’re almost certainly thinking! Or take this shot of Gerard Butler. Sure, gay sex probably works here too, but I know one of you out there has a port-a-potty/300 zinger ready to go. Then there’s Denise Richards having no choice but to play along and brush off the spiders before Charlie starts firing a gun at them, Heidi Klum with a penis-shaped object near her face and Joe Jonas wearing a shirt with words written on it, which is a great idea look for him that will in no way get twisted into misconceptions about the type of person he puts his penis in.

One does not simply put Sophia Loren in the same pictures as a large swinging ham and bouncing melons. She’s a seasoned actress for Christ sakes. Out of her way! – said the hair and eyebrows of her doppelgänger.