THE ALZHEIMER'S JOURNEY: Laughter is the best medicine

Monday

Apr 21, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Caring for someone with Alzheimer's or dementia can be a long, stressful and emotionally taxing journey. For family caregivers especially, it hurts to see your loved one change, struggle with seemingly simple tasks, and forget the most cherished memories. You may at times feel angry, lonely, sad, abandoned, and undoubtedly stressed.

Alicia Seaver

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia can be a long, stressful and emotionally taxing journey. For family caregivers especially, it hurts to see your loved one change, struggle with seemingly simple tasks, and forget the most cherished memories. You may at times feel angry, lonely, sad, abandoned, and undoubtedly stressed.

Your approach to care giving can make the biggest difference in your ability to cope with these challenges and care for your loved one. I am a strong believer in the power of laughter. Adopting humor as a care giving philosophy can dramatically alter your experience for the better.

Learning how to find humor in your day-to-day care giving experiences is a great way to relieve stress. The ability to laugh freely and frequently will give you the perseverance you need to face trials, stress or pain head on. In turn, you’ll feel more hopeful, grounded, focused and better connected with your loved one as well as others.

Laughter will not only help you, it will also help your memory impaired loved one. People with Alzheimer’s are sensitive to their environment. If you’re stressed and agitated, they’ll feel that and become distressed. But if you adopt a positive attitude, they’ll feel your joy and share it with you.

Get the ball rolling by creating your own humorous moments – watch America’s Funniest Home Videos or blooper reels as you laugh and joke together. Put together a shoebox full of funny cards, photos and trinkets. Play a game of charades in which you pretend to be a famous celebrity or maybe an animal – if your acting skills are anything like mine, they’re sure to make your loved one laugh!

Of course, when you’re a dementia caregiver, laughing is easier said than done. Many caregivers feel like laughing is inappropriate given the gravity of Alzheimer’s. We have to learn how to allow ourselves the joy of laughter.

Whenever I talk to family caregivers about humor as a coping mechanism, I emphasize the importance of separating the disease from the person who has the disease. Although your loved one has Alzheimer’s, that doesn’t define them as a human being. They are still dynamic individuals who need and appreciate humor.

It’s important not to feel guilty if you find something your loved one says funny. You’re not laughing at them, but rather, you’re laughing because the moment is funny, and that’s perfectly okay. One thing that can help you overcome this guilt is to continue to educate yourself about dementia. This will help you better understand your loved one’s memory impairment in all its complexity, as well as unusual or humorous comments your loved one might make.

Once you learn to appreciate the humor that crops up in your care giving experiences, stress will become a much less frequent visitor and you’ll be better equipped to deal with the stress that does come knocking at your door. With your humorous moments, you’ll build a trove of valuable memories about your loved one that will help carry you through the more difficult times. So give yourself permission to chuckle at the absurdities you and your loved one experience and surround yourself with laughter and love.

Alicia Seaver is the executive director at Bridges by EPOCH in Hingham. She has 20-plus years’ experience in senior care and is certified by the Massachusetts Alzheimer’s Association as an Alzheimer’s/dementia trainer, support group facilitator and memory impairment specialist. She studied psychology at Springfield Technical College and Manatee Community College.