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Alyssa B. of New York, clearly remembers her younger sister’s graduation from college a few years back — not because it was a milestone but because Alyssa was in so much pain she was afraid she wouldn’t make it. “My neck hurt so badly I couldn’t lift myself out of bed,” Alyssa recalls.

Painkillers and visits to a chiropractor helped somewhat, but Alyssa felt the chiropractor wasn’t really listening to her or trying to find the cause of her chronic pain. Only after she insisted, she says, did she get a doctor to send her for an MRI. That’s when it was discovered that she had four herniated disks in her neck. “They told me I had the neck of a 60-year-old,” says Alyssa, a public relations specialist.

A second doctor recommended physical therapy, she says, but three months of PT did nothing. “I needed another solution,” Alyssa says.

Finally she saw a spine specialist who told her the only option was surgery. But because she feels the risks of spinal surgery are too high, Alyssa has been living with her pain. If she feels pain coming on, she takes over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. She also works with a personal trainer on exercises to strengthen some of the muscles in her neck.

Pain as a Treatment Problem

Why is it so hard to find a doctor who can offer viable solutions for pain management? A Swedish study published in BMC Family Practice, which looked at the relationship between chronic pain patients and their physicians, found that doctors often fear that they can’t successfully treat the pain.

Another issue is that too often, doctors often have only minimal training in pain management. A December 2011 study in the Journal of Pain that reviewed pain education programs at 117 U.S. and Canadian medical schools found that most devoted less than five curriculum hours to pain topics.

Getting Help for Treating Pain

So how do you get your doctor to take your symptoms seriously and help you find the right pain treatment? Start with these important steps:

Find a physician trained in pain management. A physician who specializes in pain management may be able to help you with your chronic pain better than a family doctor or general practitioner. A good source for finding pain specialists is the Web site of the American Academy of Pain Medicine.

Keep a pain journal. At the end of each day or at least several times a week, write down every time you had pain, especially the times when it was particularly bad, and note what you were doing when you had the pain. Keeping a journal or diary has two benefits. First, you may be able to learn what triggers your pain, and, second, you can share it with your doctor when describing your pain. Once you and your doctor know what your triggers are and when your pain is worse, you may be able to deal with it better. “Having accurate information is vital to quickly identifying therapies or testing that can be helpful in alleviating a patient’s symptoms,” says Paul Le, MD, a pain specialist with Austin Pain Associates in Austin, Texas.

Participate actively in your care. Learn all you can about your condition and your treatment options. Doctors have respect for patients who are proactive and who ask relevant questions. Alyssa believes that one of the reasons some of the doctors she saw didn’t try to treat her neck pain was that they saw her as “just another female complaining.” It helped, she says, when she was more specific in describing her pain and more aggressive in demanding treatment.

Bring support. “When you go to see the physician about your chronic pain, bring a friend or family member,” says Jacob Teitelbaum, MD, author of Pain Free 1-2-3 and medical director of the nationwide Fibromyalgia and Fatigue Centers. “The doctor is going to rattle off information, and you’re not going to remember it. Together you can listen to what the doctor says and remember it when you’re back home.” Another option is to ask the doctor whether you can record the visit. Some doctors may not say yes because of fear of litigation, Teitelbaum says. If you can’t record, you may want to at least take notes. Keep your notes and look them over at home periodically.

Write down your questions. If you go to the appointment armed with a list of questions, you won’t forget to ask what it is you want to know. “It’s so much more efficient that way, and so much more can be addressed in the short time you have with the doctor,” Teitelbaum says.

If necessary, find another doctor. If you don’t think your doctor is listening to you or helping you with your pain, look for another one who will. Alyssa says it took her a while, but once she realized her chiropractor wasn’t helping her neck, she stopped going to him and sought another specialist.

When you’re in chronic pain, you want your doctors to listen to you so that you can find relief. Be assertive and take charge, and together you will find ways to manage your pain.