A woman in Green Bay, Wisconsin was opening her new Christmas present from her kids—a vacuum cleaner!—when she discovered more than four pounds of cocaine and crystal meth inside. Now that's what I call a bargain!

The drugs likely came from Juarez, Mexico, where the vacuum had been refurbished and shipped back to the U.S. as a new model. Police say the 2 pounds of crystal meth, and the 2.2 pounds of blow was worth more than $280,000 on the street. However, the Wisconsin mother opted against launching a new midwestern drug cartel or embarking on the greatest cleaning binge that mankind has ever seen (marketing synergy!). Instead, she handed it all over to the police.

Also, this woman has THEE WORST kids ever. They could have got her a spa day for some mani-pedi action or other shit like that. But no, the thankless brats gave her a VACUUM. I hope she buys them nothing but socks and underwear from here on out. [AOL via Consumerist]