I Started A Fire in My Kitchen and Put it Out Like A Boss

So I have heard that bacon is kinda bad for you these days, you know, cancer and all that. But it's one of the few foods that everyone in my family will eat without complaining about it. In fact, breakfast for dinner is a super fun dinner that is usually quick, fast and easy! But... not tonight.

I had some bacon on the stove and per usual, took it out of the pan and put it on to a plate with paper towels. Well, apparently some of the grease didn't quite make it onto the paper towel! It splashed up onto my hand, which is now bubbled and burned! And it splashed onto the burner!

Poooooooof!!!!! Instant fire! Big, orange, yellow and red flames!

I've been terrified of fire since I was a little girl. Once I was so afraid that our house was going to start on fire while I was sleeping that my mom gave me a squirt bottle for next to my bed—you know, just in case. Luckily, I never had to use that squirt bottle... until today!

You know what guys, I didn't even panic! I took the kitchen towel and I beat the piss out of that fire! I put it out! I mean sure, I was screaming bloody murder, but still, I put that sucker out! Now, for the average adult, this might not be a big deal, but I'm a bit of a mess in general. That, along with my fear of fire makes this event kind of a big deal.

I'm proud today! I feel like a hero. I feel like I saved the day! I mean sure, one could argue if I didn't start the fire, I wouldn't have to put it out... but....

The bacon was still yummy! And I put some coconut oil on my hand and it'll be feeling better in no time.

I'll also take this opportunity to thank the real firefighters and real heroes who serve our communities with pride every day. Thank you for always being there for us when we can't put our own fires out. I know I couldn't do what you do! So thanks! And keep up the good work!

Remember kids, don't try this at home! Make sure you have smoke detectors with fresh batteries in them 24/7/365 and that you always practice safe bacon cooking!