Saturday, 24 December 2011

It's Christmas Eve. I didn't plan to post but after having a couple of conversations, I was reminded of some recent events that I didn't think too much of initially.

So, I/we know there was some confrontation with my gay ex-boyfriend's ex-flatmate a while back to which the guy, at one point and to my surprise, said, "You guys are both my friends". Erm, yes, I was surprised and taken aback. Bet you must think that's kinda weird to. After all, I did say this guy was my 'gay ex-boyfriend's ex-flatmate' rather than my 'friend'. OK, so maybe this guy genuinely considered me his friend although I was skeptical.

A couple of weeks or so ago, I saw this guy again. Because I remember really useless information like that described above, I remembered he said I was his friend. So, I said a very big and genuine, "HELLO X!" to him. All I got was a blank from him. I guess that wasn't to much of a surprise. And I quietly vowed to never acknowledge this guy's presence again if the reason is only personal. It was good to know that I was right all along to be surprised, to have known I was never his friend and to have given him the benefit of the doubt for him to prove me right.

Yes!

Anyway, since it will be Christmas. Most will be spending a nice time with their families. Some maybe bored. For anyone who want to ponder, consider these two scenarios:

1) A gay guy comes out to his girlfriend of four years that he is gay. He was in denial. She is devastated but other people tell her to understand, it is not his fault and he has had a difficult time.

2) A guy who is HIV positive tells his girlfriend of four years - whom he has had unprotected sex with - he is HIV positive. He was in denial. She is devastated. Do people tell her to understand, that it is not his fault and that he has had a difficult time? (Edit: I'm not saying he or I are HIV positive but just consider the situation. It could be he had gonorrhea, passed it to her and her unborn child who was subseqently born with neonatal conjunctivitis. You get the drift.)

I have been watching several new TV series. Compared to the TV series from a decade or two ago, there is more gay representation. No gay, no cool, no watch. Happy Ending (the new F.R.I.E.N.D.S) has a gay guy in it. How I Met Your Mother has a gay actor in it. Modern Family has two gay guys in it. EastEnders now has three. Since 1 in 5 guys are gay these days (my reference), it's mandatory and totally in-trend to have gay representation. I guess I've picked up more on it because of recent events and because of that, I'm also reminded of recent events.

Step 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8: slice the sausage along it's short axis approx 3/4 it's diameter, skewer both ends with a toothpick, fry, break your eggs in a bowl, scoop the yolk with some white and put in the sausage ring

To illustrate Steps 7 and 8

Continue to admire.....Or if you're like me and only have one toothpick to go round, we'd have to wait for the white to cook and hold it allllltogether

Cheater's souffle: With the excess egg white, add some milk, cheese (and sugar) and pour into a poachette ring you bought to make sunflower sausages but later discover to be a rather useless accessory.

Monday, 19 December 2011

I had been web surfing lately and came across this blog (Lunch In a Box by Biggie) dedicated solely to Bento Boxes for lunch. For those not too familiar with Japanese culture but have seen some Jap stuff around, it's those lunch boxes with normal mundane foods packed in an uber creative way. Example below

So, from Biggie's blog I had been itching to make sunflower sausages since Saturday night. Biggie does it by using small Japanese pork sausages, quail eggs and a toothpick (see here). I thought I'd use frankfurters, chickens egss and an egg poachette-whatchamacallit-thingymabob.

I bought 12 chicken eggs, two egg poachette-whatchamacallit-thingymabobs that were too big for this project and 10 chicken frankfurters

I bought the poachette-whatchamacallit-thingymabob before the frankfurters and when I got home, I realised it was too big. It bugged me. Like, really bugged me. Bugged me so much I walked back all. the. way. to. the. shop. to. exchange. it. for. a. smaller. one. Fine.

Why didn't I exchange it earlier? Well, despite being quite focused initially, I became rather unfocused and bought shed loads which was too heavy causing me to loose even more focus.

My month's worth of upper body strength workout

I didn't plan on telling you how I cooked my sunflower sausages. I just thought it'd come out nice, I could show you a picture you could envy, direct you with Biggie's blog and tell you, you needn't a toothpick.

Flop.
10 o'clock: The better sunflower sausage with the sausage looping nicely round the yolk. A bit too much egg white I couldn't get rid off
8.30 o'clock: Sausage encasing broken yolk in a box.
I envisioned an Full English Breakfast but with some greens with my Sunflower Sausages

But as you can see, it didn't turn out quite right. There was more white than I anticipated and hadn't I intervened, the sausages and yolk would have been buried between two nice layers of white. Nothing wrong with that and it sounds quite aesthetically pleasing but I wanted a SUNFLOWER SAUSAGE!

No space for the baked beans on the plate
My vision was smaller than my eyes was bigger than my stomach.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Venice in Black & White - Days 2 and 3
(when the skies were largely gloomy and grey)

Trattoria alla Madonna
Calle de la Madonna
San Polo 594 Venice
Recommended by my guidebook which was good for everything else but food
Given 3.5/5 by Trip Advisor, I'd say we'd have gotten more for our buck buying fresh fish from the Rialto Market and cooking it in our kitchenette.

The Rialto Bridge
The Fish Soup at the Trattoria was really good, though!
This is only one of two generous portions

Acqua alta over Piazza San Marco

Acqua Alta over Piazza San Marco with high walkways for those without wellies to keep dry
The walkways being constructed on the first day of my visit

Friday, 16 December 2011

I loved going to the cinemas as a child. I guess the last movie I remember my mother taking me to was Aladdin. We watched it the first time together and the second, with some family friends. There was later to be a hiatus of moving-going until secondary school when I'd go with friends... And, any wish to watch a new movie would be met by something along the lines of, "you'd be paying 10 quid to watch a movie once". That was understandable. 10 quid could have bought possibly two meals those days.

Walking around London, I stumbled upon a few movie posters of movies I wanted to watch:

Another Earth
Another love affair type movie (yucks) but the poster looked beautiful and mysterious
So, I'd watch it. Meant to be out December 7

The Lady
Based on the relationship between Aung San Suu Kyi and her husband, Michael Aris
Starring Bond Girl Michelle Yeoh who met with Aung San Suu Kyi and later got deported

Unfortunately, the area I live in are not airing these movies. I'm not sure why but maybe the area I live in is a little to chav to want to watch movies like the above. Most of the stuff screening seems to be comedy or action, which is alright with me but.... does it say something about the people who frequent the cinemas around here? Anyway, there's always some time I'll wander into the deep centre of London or buy it on-line.

But for now, I have added one more movie to my list. Surprisingly, I found this queer-unrelated movie on a queer website. My eyes had to dodge everything else that was quite hurtful (I had been searching for something else).

Wallis and Edward

As we watched The King's Speech, who wondered about his brother's dilemma?

Directed by Madonna perhaps she's picked a thing or two from her time with Guy Ritchie

And we have Skylar Grey doing the soundtrack!

And finally, Apocalpyse which I watched whilst in NY. Because it said 'Mel Gibson' right at the top of the poster, I thought it was some shit movie about a white person acting as some indigenous superhero. I was so wrong. He was the director and the movie looked 100% for real (like I'd know what it was to live and survive in the forest as a true hunter!)

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

All their outrageous clothes are from H&M. Yes, if I was ever a fashion designer, it would be my pride and honour to design for H&M and see my designs on their racks and the whole freakin' world wearing my stuff.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

That's what they said. That's what I was taught at a young age. We shouldn't lie. Lying is bad. I am a very honest person. The teaching has been drummed well into me by my mother, my family. I cannot lie. I am a bad liar. When I lie, one can usually see it in my eyes or face. It takes pre-meditation and a conscious effort for me to lie even a white lie.

Now that I am older, I have come to realize that being honest isn't always the best thing to do. In fact, lying would then be the best policy. I have told truths and be punished for it. I am not a liar but I am beginning to learn to lie to protect myself.

But tonight, I want to be honest to myself and say this: I like rainbows and I love the colour of the rainbow. But, it hurts when I look at a rainbow because it is also the colour gay men fly. I once understood why Gilbert Baker picked the colours as we had been enlightened on our trip to San Francisco but now I want to ask Mr Baker, "Why? Why did you do that? Why do I have to see a rainbow and be reminded of the LGBT community and my phony ex-boyfriend? Why do you have to pick something I like that will remind me of something I do not want to remember?".

So, I said it. I have been honest again and I feel being honest makes one feel better. Talking about things has made me arrive at a happier place since the 1st of September 2011. Those of you who punished me can get lost. I do not need to lie and protect myself in this circumstance. If honesty was never the best policy, the saying would have never been a saying.

Friday, 9 December 2011

So, today I had gone hunting for an item at various H&M's and was rather unsuccessful. Finally, I ended up walking along Regent's Street and passed the National Geographic Society shop which said something along the lines of, "Relocation Sale! We cannot take everything with us". They are relocating to Knightsbridge, an area I rarely visit so this was probably the best opportunity to: 1) get into the shop and 2) buy something from NGS that's affordable and subjectively worth the money.

And, it was affordable and subjectively worth my money:

Souvenir paper bag

Two leather belts for £10 per belt
Left: On the tag it says 100% polyester but on the belt it says 100% cow leather. Maybe a little too long but that's OK. Original price: £35.9
Right: Double loop coin belt. Original price: £41.9

What's in this nice box?

They called it a compu organizer
Full leather
People were quite interested in looking at this but didn't quite know what to do with it and whether to buy it, I suspect.
Most said, "Nice colour!"

Original price: £105
Sale price: £30
Pretty good deal considering most leather items this size would be >£70

I thought it'd go well with my yellow Fossil bag :-)
And, maybe it'd fit my (future) laptop
My current laptop is a fits snugly in to the organizer

In other news, I'm totally gutted I put my merino wool, warm and fluffy cardigan in the warm wash. I had been avoiding washing it for several loads but absent-mindedly washed it two days ago! It's a snug fit now but I preferred it the way it was. Someone moved my cheese and I'm agitated. Gotta try and see if I can re-shape it tomorrow.

About Me

My boyfriend of four years broke up with me in September 2011 citing 'gay' as the reason. Until then, I thought my world was perfect; I had a solid relationship, thought he would propose, we would marry, buy a house and a car, have children and grow old together. A friend then said to me, "Look for happy" and I am in search of happy. Then, another friend said to me, "I'm sure happy is looking for you too :-)" and I realized happiness maybe just around the corner.