I have an acquaintance who's having a home sales party. I begged off at first, saying that I don't use or really like the product being sold and they did the usual "You don't have to buy anything," song and dance. I then said "Ok, this is the situation. I can come but it will have to be two hours after it was supposed to start (because I have to work till then), I can't stay long, and I am 100% positive I'm not buying the product. I just don't want there to be hurt feelings." They responded by saying "No worries."

Did I do my due diligence in this situation? If they still get upset, so be it. They can't say I didn't put them on notice. This person tends to get their feelings hurt and post them on Facebook. I'll just ignore it if they do this again, but just wanted your thoughts?

The whole point of these parties is to sell things. The sales rep will be circulating and trying to get you to buy things. Your host will be circulating trying to get people to buy things.

If you don't want to go, then just say no. I'm sure it would be nice to see your friends, but what's the point of going to a party you don't want to be at and then leaving early anyway? If you want to just hang out with friends to catch up and socialize, then maybe you should plan a separate girls night out/in.

ETA: If your friend wants to get mad, that's her prerogative. Don't take responsibility for her emotions

I think since you said "ok I'll come , I'll be 2 hours late but I'll come" you need to go. Next time I would just stick with "no".

As a Side note I think those parties require at least X number of guests for the hostess to earn their item . So you attending even without buying something may still help her. I consider these types of things either a business arrangement or a favor not a party. I don't think its rude to go without the intention of buying anything as long as you don't poopoo the product "Oh these widgets are ok but OTHER widgets are better , less expensive and available at the 24 hour store at the corner"

Full disclosure, I'm a consultant for a direct selling company. Since you're going to be 2 hours late, I probably would have just declined, without an explanation. Typically, these sorts of parties only last a couple of hours anyway, so the good news is that you'll miss most of the sales portion!

As a Side note I think those parties require at least X number of guests for the hostess to earn their item . So you attending even without buying something may still help her. I consider these types of things either a business arrangement or a favor not a party. I don't think its rude to go without the intention of buying anything as long as you don't poopoo the product "Oh these widgets are ok but OTHER widgets are better , less expensive and available at the 24 hour store at the corner"

In my experience, it's not the number of guests, but amount of the orders. So, for my company, a party is considered qualified (for the hostess benefits) at $200. So, you could earn benefits and have 1 or 2 people at the party, if they spend more per person.

Full disclosure, I'm a consultant for a direct selling company. Since you're going to be 2 hours late, I probably would have just declined, without an explanation. Typically, these sorts of parties only last a couple of hours anyway, so the good news is that you'll miss most of the sales portion!

As a Side note I think those parties require at least X number of guests for the hostess to earn their item . So you attending even without buying something may still help her. I consider these types of things either a business arrangement or a favor not a party. I don't think its rude to go without the intention of buying anything as long as you don't poopoo the product "Oh these widgets are ok but OTHER widgets are better , less expensive and available at the 24 hour store at the corner"

In my experience, it's not the number of guests, but amount of the orders. So, for my company, a party is considered qualified (for the hostess benefits) at $200. So, you could earn benefits and have 1 or 2 people at the party, if they spend more per person.

I've seen a few were you had to have 5 people to earn a "gift" and x in orders to earn a different"gift" and have 3 people book a party of their own to earn something else .

I think I have to work so I cant be there till 2 hours after it starts is a great reason to say "no" but since its a business deal you do not need to have a previous engagement to say no.

I also work for a direct selling company that doesn't have a minimum number of order requirement. There is a minimum $ amount. If one person spends $150 in the US or $200 in Canada at a party, then it is a qualified party and the hostess qualifies for benefits.

As the person upthread mentioned, it is perfectly ok for you to say you don't want to go. It most likely would have been over by then anyway.

I never put any pressure on at the parties I do. While I encourage the hostess to have as many people as possible, I understand that some people just aren't into the home party thing.

I'm curious... If you're going to be two hours late, leave early, not buy anything and, most important, don't really want to go, why are you even bothering? Just say you can't make it and save yourself the aggravation.

Well, I already said I would go so I can't back out now, but it was mainly because this person is constantly asking me to come out to his house. Thing is, he lives waaaaayyyy out in the sticks so it's quite a trip to get there, plus he has three dogs that are threatening to me (Sorry I forgot to clarify my friend is a "he" by the way), so he really should realize most people would not find the offer attractive. And of course, he doesn't realize this.

Now I assume he's putting the dogs up for the time he's having the party, since that's what he's done in the past. I kind of felt bad for him because I didn't see that anyone else he invited is going. In any case, my reasoning for saying yes at the time was because I have been asked to come see him so many times and have always refused that I felt like I should just suck it up this time.

Why should he realize his offer is not attractive if no one has told him so?

So wait, if no one else is attending, then does that mean you will be the only two there? And you'll be a couple of hours late at that. What happens if you get there and his dogs are out, will you go in or stay?

It doesn't really make sense that the first invitation you accept to go to this guys house is for an party you really don't want to go to.

You certainly can back out. This was not a social invitation, therefore you are not obligated to adhere to social etiquette in this instance. This is a shopping event, and you are not obligated by etiquette to attend. You stated many reasons for not going and none for going, so it sounds like a miserable time. I would just tell him that after thinking it over this shopping event isn't going to work for you and you therefore won't be attending after all.

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What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

I recently purchased the Judith Martin book entitled Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium. She addresses home selling parties on p. 388. To paraphrase, she states that when invited to such an event it is OK to say that you would love to see the host[ess] sometime when they are free, but that you "just don't like shopping parties."

If you go to a party and find out that there is a sales pitch involved, you can thank the host[ess], and say that you will be leaving now that everyone is going to be shopping.

I agree, OP, that it would be difficult to get out of this thing now that you said that you would go. However, if you get to this rural location and find an extreme situation - that there are no other cars, or that the dogs are on the loose I think that you would be justified if you called your friend and told him that you just can't make it after all.