Write to Nadine Dorries about your uterus

I wrote an open letter to Nadine Dorries about the contents of my uterus. Putting it on the blog is not enough though, so I sent the letter to her.

I think it’s important that Dorries receives these letters. Much of her career is built upon her fixation with other people’s wombs–a quick google using the terms “nadine dorries abortion” will reveal a rich history of attempts to bring in various bills and amendments which will restrict the right to choose what is done with one’s uterus: variants on pre-abortion “counselling”, reducing the time limit, smearing abortion providers. Dorries is fanatical about your uterus. She probably has a photo of it that she kisses goodnight before bed.

Facetiousness aside, it is worrying that a politician is so hell-bent on controlling our wombs. It is worrying that anyone other than the person whose womb it is seeks to control a womb. If Dorries is so fascinated by our uteruses, then let us give her what she wants. Let us tell her all about our wombs. She is not interested in listening to us pointing out the factual inaccuracies in her arguments, nor is she willing to try to prevent abortions by providing better sex education–indeed, Dorries would rather see sex education made worse by bringing in abstinence-only sex education.

So let’s see if she’s so interested in our uteruses when we tell her all about them.

After blogging my letter, two more people wrote stories about their relationships with their uteruses. Harri’s tells a story of being a boy with a uterus; Emelyn’s of a uterus which is refusing to cooperate in her struggle to get pregnant. Both are touching and wonderfully written, and I would love to see more of these. Talking about our uteruses is something we don’t do often enough.

To write to Nadine Dorries, telling her about your uterus, please write to:

My name is Frankie and I am the uterus of a lovely girl called ‘Prudence’. I am writing to you today as I have heard that you take a particular interest in the contents and activities of my fellow uteruses and so I felt compelled to tell you more about myself.

As I have already said, my name is Frankie and I live inside a woman called Prudence. I have very few memories of my childhood so I will start my story from my first menstruation. I was thirteen when I first felt the need to menstruate and I have been doing it on and off ever since. I have housed three foetuses and have taken part in two abortions. The first of these was when I was only 14 and it was quite a shock! I wasn’t expecting a foetus at all if I am perfectly honest! My friends at school told me that foetuses don’t usually come to visit when you are that young, especially if your girl didn’t want to… what is the word you use… have sex in the first place. Anyway, the foetus came and went, although it hung around for a while. I only mention this as I have heard that one of the things that particularly interests you about us uteruses is the amount of time we have foetuses to stay with us. You may be interested to know then that this one stayed for quite a while and got quite big! I wasn’t particularly sad to see it go, though; I was much too young. I must admit however that your plans for us would have meant that I would have been forced to house it for longer. After that, I found it quite hard to bleed. My girl didn’t give me much energy to work with for a few months so it was quite a strain. Anyway, apart from a few orgasmic contractions and periodic menstruation, not much happened after that. Then came foetus number two. He stayed for nine months and two weeks and was a very polite house guest! I must admit, I still skip a beat when my Prudence hugs the child he became. Actually, letting go of him was really very hard for me and I ruptured during the process, although it didn’t take me long to recover. I didn’t get much of a break between foetus number two and foetus number three; I hadn’t even found the strength to bleed again before the last one arrived! I was relieved that it decided not to hang around for long. I have nothing against the foetus itself, don’t get me wrong; I just didn’t have the energy for it. At the same time as saying goodbye to foetus number three, I had some temporary cosmetic surgery in the form of mirena coil. It makes it much harder for foetuses to pop by plus it enables me to go about my business without bleeding with my usual frequency; a well-earned rest in my mind! It is due to be removed in three years and I will probably replace it with another; I have become very attached to mirena. Other than a few more (although not nearly enough) orgasmic contractions and a few minor shooting pains from time to time, that is just about it.

I am so glad you are taking the time to get to know us uteruses; I often feel as if we are a marginalised and under-appreciated group.

My uterus has housed two foetuses so far. The first was when I was 24 and had just graduated. I was doing temp work, living in a flatshare and was single. Everybody told me to have an abortion so I went to get one. An NHS counsellor sat and listened to me, the first person to really do so. I went home and decided to cancel the abortion.

It is very important to me that although my pregnancy was unplanned, having the option of an abortion meant that my baby was very much wanted. That would not have been true had an abortion not been available and the baby been forced upon me.

I am now 28 and have two children. If another foetus lodges in my womb I will need an abortion, I don’t have the mental strength or space or money for another child. I am horrified by the prospect of my daughters growing up to want an abortion and being denied their right to have one. They have been born into a world which gives women very few choices, how dare you attempt to limit them even further.

A woman being forced to have a baby is the worst way to begin being a mother, a baby being forced onto a woman is the worst way for its life to begin.

Hey, how’s it going? I’ve noticed recently that you’re a bit obsessed with the comings and goings of the collective wombs of the nation, so I thought I’d give you a wee update on mine, seeing as you like that sort of thing. I rather enjoy being friendly and having a chitchat and it’s a while since anyone has had such a vested interest in my womb.

I went to a lovely rough local secondary school, where they taught us how to put condoms on fake willies… some of them even had fake semen that spurted out so that we could learn how to take the condom off without spilling it! Thanks to this, and the fact I’m fussy about who I sleep with, I’ve thankfully never, ever been pregnant. And you know what Nadine? I intend to never, ever get pregnant… ever. And if I do, I have no intention of keeping that baby. Why? Well, you see Nadine, there’s a lot of reasons.

The first is that I have a blood clotting disorder that will mean my life is at risk if I *do* get pregnant… and as awesome as kids are, I kinda like being alive. I also like not having to jab myself with needles every day to stay alive, which I’d have to do if I got pregnant. The second is that I think our world is pretty flipping over populated, don’t you? There’s a lot of unloved, unwanted kids out there… I like to think that if I were going to have children, I’d probably adopt one of those unloved, unwanted kids. I hate to think that I’d end up having an unloved, unwanted child of my own. And, you know Nadine, if you mess up our rights to have an abortion, there’s going to be a hell of a lot more unloved, unwanted kids out there for the world to try and deal with. And currently, I’d say we’re not doing so well at dealing with them as it is… I don’t see how forcing women’s hands (well… wombs) towards keeping babies they just plain don’t want or can’t deal with is going to make things better.

There’s other reasons too… one of which is that I feel it’s my right to decide what I do with my body, not yours. I’m also kinda worried about some of your crazy American friends and how agressive they get about this – me, I’m all about the love…. I’m really not big on the angry hate and nasty pictures. They do no-one any good. Lets keep things independent and impartial yeah? Getting people with vested, religious interests involved in abortion counselling isn’t right and isn’t fair. The fact that a significant number of women who have the currently offered abortion counselling don’t go through with having an abortion should surely show you that it’s really doing a pretty good job and isn’t trying to give women the hard sell.

Basically Nadine (I hope it’s ok that I’ve called you Nadine… I figure we’re kinda friends seeing as you’re so concerned about my uterus), I’d really, really appreciate it if you let me and my womb get on with things.

We could always have some tea and cake if you’d like to chat to me more about my womb… or any of my other stunning assets for that matter.

Perhaps she is concerned that at 24 weeks (the legal limit of abortion), up to 70% of premature babies (the sick ones, not the ones sitting happily in the womb) can survive with no more assistance from the mother.

In otherwords, at 24 weeks , the thing being aborted is a baby not a lifeless fetus, at 20 weeks however, it is a fetus.

The harm in cutting the 24-week limit is that the abnormalities scan is conducted at 20 weeks–this is when women have a short time to make a decision about whether to carry to term a foetus that may not survive outside the womb, and if it does, it may be disabled. People should absolutely continue to have the right to choose whether this happens.

Abortions after 20 weeks are rare, and usually only conducted when needed. At least two of the stories hosted here are about later abortions, and I strongly recommend you read them before asking “what’s the harm” based on biased and faulty figures.

That is also to say that I will have to start opening the channels of communication with my uterus before I can take on this task. She keeps her cards pretty close to her chest but I’ll try to see what I can do.

I need to respect her privacy and allow her ample time to seek appropriate counsel before I take it upon myself to reveal her private thoughts, ambitions, concerns and musings.