June 06, 2002

Now, In Salons: The Bin

Now, In Salons: The Bin Laden 'Do'

Travel with me, if you will, to the wonderful world of odd news. From Hong Kong we have:

Woman Loses Case Over 'Bin Laden' Hairstyle
A Hong Kong woman lost her case for compensation against a hair salon which she claimed made her look like Osama bin Laden when she wanted a hairstyle like Hollywood actress Julia Roberts.

I'm curious if this is a common phenomenon in Hong Kong salons: you ask to look like Julia Roberts and you come out wearing a turban and wielding an AK-47. "Oh, those idiots! I distinctly said Julia Roberts, but this is obviously the Bin Laden look."

After the judgement was handed down, she refused to leave the Small Claims Tribunal and had to be taken away by ambulance following a standoff of more than an hour with court staff, the South China Morning Post reported on Thursday.

Must have been a terribly slow news day for the South China Morning Post.

EDITOR: Hey, Hung Wan, there's a report coming in about another Bin Laden hairstyle. Go cover it, and do a good job this time or I'll turn you over to the local Law Enforcement Severe Beating Brigade (LASBB).

Hung Wan: I'm on it, Chief.

Chu Ieu complained her hair was seriously damaged by two perms she had done at the New Idol Hair Salon last July and August.

"Do you mean you did not get the Julia Roberts look after the perm?" adjudicator Yuen Chun-kau asked her during the Wednesday hearing.

Now that's good cross-examination.

"Not just that. It was like a broom. Every hair struck out and it looked like an open umbrella which could not be shut. It was horrible. I looked like Osama bin Laden," Chu replied.

Ah, yes. Most FBI and CIA pictures and description of Bin Laden plainly state that he has hair that resembles "an open umbrella which can not be shut." Sheesh.

Yuen dismissed her claim for HK$50,000 (US$6,410) in compensation as she had offered no evidence to prove her hair had been damaged. "You've only shown the court that the hairstyle did not look good," he said.

It's at this point that I have to ask: What are they smoking over there in Hong Kong, and where can I get some?

"He's bald. Of course he would not know the pain of having damaged hair," Chu fretted, sitting on the floor of the courtroom in protest against the judgement.

Now, I shave my head, so this last sentence stings. Okay, no it doesn't. However, I love the phrase "Chu fretted." I don't know why; I think it's because it sounds like some new brand of potato chip. "Try new "Chew Frets" today!!"