More excuses coming but I have to admit I have been having writers block and haven’t know what to blog about. Not only that, but I am currently going through the PPEs (pre public exams). Which means I have had a lot of revision etc. But last week I ordered the ‘Q and A, five year journal’ off of Amazon because I saw it on Instagram and other blogs etc and was really interested. So I decided fuck it, I’ll get one. And since getting it I love it! I really like laying in bed before going to sleep and answering the questions on what the day asks.

If you are not familiar with it, it is a small diary which has some form of question a day for 365 days a year. You then write and answer for the same question for five years. I’ll let the pictures show and explain.

I’s sorry for the lack of posts recently, but I have been part of a Pantomime at school called ‘Peter-Pan the Prequel’ and I played ‘Wilma’ or as many people would know here as ‘Tinkerbell”. We had been rehearsing for so long and it all payed off. Not only that but I also performed it on my birthday and it went so good! Aghhh! :D

But anyway it’s the 3rd of February which means its 11 days till… Valentines Day *vomit*. I detest this day so much, it’s throw-up-vill, like what is the point of it?! A peer of mine, goes by the name of Megan, told me a year or two ago that the reason why I didn’t like Valentines day was because I didn’t have a boyfriend. So this year I do have a boyfriend, and guess what I still hate it! So suck my ass! On the day I will be spending it with my boyfriend but I don’t do mushy.

So for the last couple of days, I’m going to be honest, I haven’t felt great emotionally. On the 6th January, it was the 1 year anniversary of my Nan’s death which made anything that happen on that day crap. For example, I had to go back to school… And to be honest everyone in my year was dreading it. My drama teacher (who is one of my favourite teachers) then upset me and it caused me to cry thinking about it when I got home. It was nothing bad; but he made a joke that was taken too far and it happened on the wrong day. But the only thing is now, (after my parents sent an e-mail to him and he was very apologetic to me) I feel like the good ‘teacher/pupil’ relationship that we had isn’t there anymore and he favours another pupil. I hate being jealous, but unfortunately I am.

My boyfriend has also had a sick bug about him for the last few days, and thats fine and I looked after him on Monday (on our inset day) but when we came back to school he has just been grumpy at me; this then cause me to get angry at him. That’s another thing, I am bad at controlling my anger or annoyance.

Everything has been building up inside of me, I feel unconfident about myself, but it’s hard to give myself confidence of which I give to others. I also feel unconfident with my role in the pants at school, I don’t mean I am un-happy with my role because I’m playing Tinkerbelle and I love that. But I just feel like what I am doing and how I’m acting it isn’t right :(

I love my drama and I’m not trying to be big headed, but I am one of the best actors in my class (which isn’t hard to be honest because about 80% of the class doesn’t try), and yet I feel I’m slipping. Also, with drama, I feel in my head I have to be the best. Not as an egotistical way, but I get very competitive and want to be the best, so I go hard on myself.

All of this has now resulted in me not looking forward to my birthday which is at the end of the month because I feel I don’t deserve for being mean to my boyfriend sometimes and disappointing people.

But what I was trying to say in this post is, when you feel upset, it’s ok that your upset, take some time to calm down and feel happy. Don’t punish yourself for feeling sad or angry because you’ll only feel worse. (Trust me, I know) And, always think, this doesn’t last a long time, yes you might feel on and of for a couple of days, but it will then end and won’t last forever.

So from the 25th December to 30th December 2014 my family and myself went to New York for a Holiday. We went because last year my Nan was ill during the Christmas period and the she died on the 6th January, we wanted to create new memories because last year wasn’t the greatest.

New York was amazing, but that isn’t what this post is about, I wanted to share with you what I brought over in America. This isn’t showing off or anything so don’t get that impression. :)

We went to see Wicked on Broadway and I couldn’t resist this T-Shirt

When we went into the Disney Store in Times Square and saw Perry the Platypus

From the Disney Store too :O

From Perry to Mac 239 brush

Mac lipstick in Media

I went Bath and Body works, which I was most excited for because they were having a sale and I got 5 for $5. Boom Bargin ;)

I also got this from Bath and Body works

I really wanted a Michael Kors bag but they are really expensive and then I saw this in ‘New York and Company’ and had 60% off so I was like yes please! :O

SHOES!!!

I got this from the 9/11 memorial and it’s a necklace of leaves that represent the leaves on the ‘Survivor Tree’.

I have been finding it really hard to find time to blog and what to blog about, but today I was having really bad confidence issues about my body. I have big boobs, a flabby waist and a big bum, I am ‘curvy’. That’s not necessarily a bad thing as my boyfriend loves it and to be honest I like having big boobs and a bum. But at the end of the day that isn’t seen as acceptable in society. In my year there are girls who some how, have huge boobs, the skinniest waist going, a massive ass then skinny legs… Like come on… How is that possible there is a push up bra somewhere!

Girls like that who post revealing pictures always gets hundreds of likes on there Instagram pictures, then the boys in my year picture there perfect girl like that. A fake tart.

When I post a picture on Instagram and get 20 to 30 likes I feel great, but then when a tart posts a slutty picture of half their ‘boobs’ (well mainly push up bras) and get over 100 likes. This then makes me and many other people feel really crap about themselves. Society is stupid and unfair. However my boyfriend said something smart… ‘Well let me put this straight to you. A lot of boys will only be attracted to you if you show off your boobs in pictures etc. Don’t get me wrong i’m certain boys think you’re pretty but they all look for the *not naming names* kinda style, that’s why she gets so many likes and comments etc.’

But getting to my point after a long rant, is a: slutty girls are attention seeking whores, b: some of them are pretty but they know it c: excuse my french… but do you know what, fuck them who should give a damn. Feel beautiful in your skin and be confident with how you look who needs push up bras. Wear what you want, express yourself in your own way. Who needs to wear a short skirt and a bralet? Wear what you want, be who you are and don’t let the slags get to you, you are beautiful.

It’s the 27th November, which means two things… 1) – It’s time for a Favourites post and 2) – IT’S NEARLY CHRISTMAS!

Hope you enjoy :)

‘Girl Online’ - By Zoe Sugg

Oh my gosh!! This book is amazing, I have been waiting for a while to read this book, like I am sure most Zoella fans have, and to be honest she has’t disappointed! I received it on the day it came out and by the end of that day I was already on page 100! If you like Zoe’s blog and videos, you will enjoy this.

Revlon Colourstay Links – In ‘Melon’ ‘Gold’ ‘Bone’

These eyeshadows are pretty fabulous and I especially love the white colour (‘Bone’) to highlight the inner corners of my eyes and under my brows.

Body Shop Body Mist – Mango

This smells so delicious and makes me smell good through out the days, I have also had many compliments on it!

Concerts – Lady Gaga, Linkin Park

WOW! These two concerts were too good not to put into this post!

I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!

This usually appears in the month of November and I look forward to it all year round. I feel really bad for the people who don’t live in England and don’t get to watch this show.

For the last two or three months one of my friends told me that she fancied a boy in my year. To me I thinking right ok that’s great, I really hope that blossoms into something great. However, she does not have much confidence as she has never really been in a situation like that before. Well.. she has liked another guy, (we’ll call him desisting tit), but it never really developed into anything thing because, ‘excuse my french’ but and absolute dick to her!

Right anyway, back to the story, I can tell my friend absolutely likes this guy (we’ll call him lamppost (he is a really tall person!)). She gets really girly to me about him and to be honest its really sweet! But she has never been in a proper relationship before and she doesn’t know what to do, but that is fair enough! So I have been giving her advise:

You may be absolutely petrified to tell him that you fancy him, but drop hint to him or get close to him.

How do you know he won’t like you back after you tell him?! You will most likely feel better after telling him anyway!

If you don’t try, you may never be able to do it for any other time. You need to break that first bond, it’s like when you break a glow stick, you can’t get the glow until you break it!

You may feel after you tell him he won’t be your friend or ignore you for the rest of your life. First of all, if your feeling like this right now calm down… BREATH! You need to realise if he is a good friend he will either like you back, won’t like you back but still be a good friend to you, or be a ‘dick’ and ignore you. If he does the third one it shows he was never a good friend in the first place and may show you that you didn’t miss out there. (You didn’t miss out on a great guy that you can call your boyfriend).

Ok imagine you have told him, and he is being a dick, you now think the world is over and you can never tell a guy you like them ever again! You are wrong there my friend! You will get over it after a few days and when you like a different guy again you might feel more confident because you have already said it to another guy. Just believe in yourself!

I’m so sorry if you didn’t understand that, or you already know that advise, I just wanted to write it so people who happen to stubble across my blog may benefit from my advise.

On Tuesday 4th of November my drama teacher, a languages teacher, myself and 12 other Performing Arts students traveled up to London after period four. We were going to see The Women in Black and Ghost Stories.

When we got to Covent Garden we went to the Fortune Theatre to watch the ‘Woman in Black’ and it was absolutely amazing. I have never seen the film, but I would definitely recomend watching if you live in the UK!

After it finished we had some free time to wonder round Covent garden and it was great to show my friend some of the sights because she has never been to London before either!

After about and hour and a half, it consisted of walking to the nearest McDonalds in the pouring rain 😂 this was not exactly fun! But the end result was tasty!

Then it was time to get scared! And I mean REALLY scared! I never watch horror films or anything so when I was watching this I was close to weeing myself! Again, if you live in the UK go to the Arts Theatre and watch it! I however did think it was amazingly done. We’ll both plays were!

So this year I have gone into year eleven, which means a lot of revision starts now! First of all scary! Second of all stressful! However, I find these tips useful to de-stress after a few hours of revision.

– Watching YouTube – This is very relaxing especially with a cup of tea and a brownie

– Baking or cooking – When ever I can I love to cook things for dinner, but especially bake things like cake and brownies. (Has to be Mary Berry recipe ;)) Not only is it therapeutic but you normally get to eat it too and that’s just the best!

– A tv/film series marathon – The Big Bang Theory hits the nail on the head every time ;)

– Reading – A good book is never bad for you!

– Do your make-up – I love just doing my make-up, I just think it’s something fun to do!

- Seeing your friends/boyfriend/girlfriend – They always seem to know how to make you laugh!

So basically for this blog post, I was thinking an August Favourites. I sometimes watch these on Youtube/read them on people’s blogs. But I have never written one myself, and I thought why not.

As tomorrow is the last day of August, I am showing you my favourites from this month.

Hay Day – This is an app on my Phone where you have a farm and you have to do orders and look after animals etc. Its extremely addictive and I am on level 19. My dad is very addicted to it and is already is on 30 something.

My Hair – Yesterday I got my hair cut, and for me I had no idea what i wanted to do apart from go shorter than what I was. At the start I was thinking a long bob kinda thing, but I just decided to take off 4 inches. This too me is sooooo much ;)

This is a before picture (about a week or two ago) -

Now -

I now can’t wait till I get it cut even shorter :P

Tara’s Smile – She started off as an ‘Instagramer’ and now does youtube videos too. Her photos are fab and her videos are also fab. Go follow her!

Products from KIKO – I have two or three products already from KIKO and already love them! However I purchased their Compact powder and Ph lip enhancer. The powder is really good and lasts for quite a number of hours. I would have to re-aply if it was something like a 12 hour day. The Ph lip enhancer, brings out the natural colour of your lips and is a lip balm with spf too.

Maybelline – Baby skin is a face primer which helps my make up stay all day and it is so good. Enough said!

Mac – When I went to Portsmouth I went into The Cosmetics Company Shop where you can buy expensive make-up brands like Mac, Bobbi Brown and Clinique, cheaper. I have never brought any mac before and have always wanted too and now I have! I got a blush in ‘Pink Tea’