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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday, July 14, 2011

My friends, today is National Nude Day, which is why I... [ripping off Velcro pants]...will be writing this post entirely butt nekkid. Aw yeeeah. In fact, I suggest you join me! Just be considerate of your family and cubicle mates, and be sure to walk around and extend a personal invitation to each of them, too.

Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:

I like to oil up when I write about cake.

Now, let's do this thing!

Here we have a ...

I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.

So. Here's a turtle:

Oh! Hang on a sec; my neighbor is watering her lawn.

[opening door]

Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?

Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!

She's such a sweetie.

Now, check out this hot little chick:

That is some serious duck face.

(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)

And now, a taco:

Or possibly a hot dog.

Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.

(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)

Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?

Must be the cold draft in here.

[crossing legs]

And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate:

John (THOJ) you seem to forget that many of us have actually met you during your world book tour...and unless you've been working out like Hans and Franz used to your self portrait is photoshopped. ;o)However, your post was awesome...and I would go with a plastic back scratcher if you want to put it in the dishwasher.

John, hubby of Jen...I must say this was a little creepy. Seeing you nekkid...NOT seeing you nekkid...I mean, I absolutely DO NOT want to see you nekkid or even imagine you nekkid. It's not just you...it's any unknown man...and many known men, come to that. If it's National Nude Day, I think I'll stay in my house all day with the curtains closed...wait...that's what I do everyday! NO, it's not what you think. I'm not nekkid...no one is nekkid...except at appropriate times...like 3 o'clock or 5 o'clock...NO that's not what I mean, I mean nekkid for showers only!!! (and other needed nekkid activities) And the curtains are closed because we live in the desert and it's very hot and I don't want the sun shining into our house to make it even hotter...yeah, that sounds good.

Omg I am sitting at resturaunt waiting on my son, he works here, and I am on his laptop, I almost spit water all over it with the oiled up comment and then burst out laughing with the Mildred dont run.... HAHAHAHAHAHA Best post for me since the dog wanting the cupcakes video. Dont get me wrong they are all awesome but seriously this is hysterical...Amy

(silly grin)I've been so deep in the doldrums recently I thought I wouldn't smile until I saw Darth Vader holding a baby girl while My Little Pony (with a Death Star tattooed on it's butt) danced on a double rainbow with Rick Astley to the tune of Walk the Dinosaur while silver dragees from an Italian bakery in Afghanistan twinkled like stars in a poo colored sky.

(silly grin)I was wrong.

-Barbara Anne

P.S. I, too, thought: taco, hot dog or half burger lying on it's side? Also, my grandmother's name was Mildred and she would have thought this was funny (and she had an artificial hip).

*palm to forehead* Why didn't I check CW this morning when I KNOW it is my primary source for important news. National Nude Day AND My 50th Birthday?! Just imagine how much better my Sally O'Malley impressions at work all day would have been nekkid!

Lol thank goodness I stayed home today if it was national nude day. Some things cannot be unseen and around here I would probably never come out of the house again. That taco/hot dog/man vs. food hamburger thing makes me kinda wanting some food at the moment just not that cake lol. Mmmmmmm I love this post!

Not sure what's more nauseating, these cakes (especially that taco/hotdog one) or widespread nakenedess in my town. However as it's very warm and I work on my own it sounds like a good idea, happy naked day!

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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