"...to seek and to find the past, a lineage, a history, a family built on a flesh and bone foundation."

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Mother's Rings

They were still there, upon her finger, when her life's days came to an end. They were destined to come to me via the terms of her will, but I find I cannot bear to put either one on my finger. Doing so only reminds of the fact that these precious rings — my mother's rings which were given to her by the love of her life — will never again be worn upon her finger, the only place for which they were ever intended.

Each ring now seems so very delicate, as though it might dissolve within my fingers, but perhaps it is only the passages of life that make it seem that way. Her wedding band was crafted in a hexagon shape when she first wore it upon her finger, and although the years have softened the corners of the band, the shape is still there.

There were only a few occasions in the year when both rings were not together on her finger. In the Springtime my mother would give the house a thorough cleaning, so her engagement ring would be taken off and put away to ensure the stones would not be damaged. Just before Christmas each year she would do the same. On her very last day when my mother was in the hospital, in the early morning, a nurse instructed me to remove both rings from my mom's finger, and take them home for safe keeping, but I refused, saying the rings were where they were meant to be.

At the funeral home, after our last goodbyes and just before he closed the casket, the funeral director removed the rings from my mom's finger. He put them into a small red velvet pouch and handed them to me. In a reassuring voice he told me that the rings had very easily slipped from her finger. In exactly that moment finally I understood that my mother was truly gone, and I knew with certainty that Mom was with Dad in that heavenly place where such markers of earthly life are of no consequence.

In loving memory of our mother Mary on this day, the second anniversary of her death.

We will mark the one year anniversary of my mother's death on the 22nd - I'm dreading it and just want the day to pass by. When she passed the hospital couldn't get her rings off so somehow later they were able to and then gave them to my brother for safekeeping. The ultimately were given to my sister, the oldest child. I did inherit my mother's mother's wedding ring which looks very similar to your mother's ring.

A lovely rememberance of your mother, and her rings are beautiful. The day may come when they bring you comfort and not just the feeling that they belong to her. In a few moments, it will be the first anniversary of my mother in law's passing. As we remember her, I will also think of you.

Having lost my mom just last week, I was touched by your post. She removed her rings just before the fall that precipitated her death, but for a time we thought they were lost. That possibility hurt me deeply. The rings may or may not have great monetary value, but they stand for so much, don't they? Thank you for sharing your mom's beautiful rings with us. They are a treasure. ~Kate

Dear Kate, I am so very sorry your mom recently passed away. I hope that over the next while memories of the happiest times with your mom will light your life. These rings — treasures, as you say — stand for so much and give us the most slender thread of connection to keep our hearts from completely breaking.

Thank you for viewing today's post.

Leave a comment, if you feel so inclined; I really appreciate comments. Also, when you have a moment check out the blog archive or click on 'Older Posts' to have a look at topics from the past. I hope the sun is shining on your part of the world today. Cheers! Jennifer