Does everything go a little off-balance for you during the holidays?Every year, I hear a lot about holiday stress & angst that does not lend itself to festive, peaceful celebrations. Friends, clients, women in TV ads – they all say the same basic thing, “If I could just get through the holidays this year with some sanity, that’d be great.” As if just surviving the holidays is all they would ask for. Never mind enjoying the holidays. Or enjoying a fertility boostduring the holidays (yes, that is possible!).Can you relate to these “shadow” holiday archetypes for women:1 - The Stress Case – It’s easy to get stressed when shopping in frenetic stores, driving in heavy holiday traffic, and bouncing around from one occasion to another. But when your fertility is a top priority, it’s no secret that stress is the last thing you want to subject yourself to during the holidays. Your nervous system doesn’t need any more reasons for shifting into fight/flight.2 - The Obligatory “Yes” Whisperer – Trust me, I know this one. “Sure, I can take care of this. Yes, I can also handle that.” This archetype genuinely want her guests to have a really good time together, might be the only one in the family that everyone gets along with, and begins to believe (blending with # 3) that if she can just think of what will make everyone happy, all will be well at the Christmas eve dinner – and therefore in her soul. :)3 - The Do-it-all Mode – Who knows? Maybe perfection will save the day. When you’re in DIA mode, there’s this underlying idea that if the decorations, gifts, and baking projects all line up in some magical way, it’ll heal grief, mend broken connections, or inspire your soul. And the truth is that sometimes it works a little. It’s just that the majority of the time, it can be pretty disappointing to find that a lot of effort gets wasted and you end up exhausted.4 - “I Give Up” – This is what people do when they’re sick of the other options. And there can be a certain wisdom in giving up sometimes. It’s just that there’s a pretty big difference between surrender and collapse. One feels blissful and relaxing, the other empty and frustrating.If the shadow side of the holidays – consumerism, obligation, frenzy, etc. – often gets to you, it’s important to set up lots of extra support this year while you’re trying to conceive. The holidays last the better part of two months, a substantial chunk of time in the realm of fertility.

So plan ahead - how can you support yourself during this time - and keep things going in the positive direction for your body come the new year?

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Author

Mary Goyer, M.S. specializes in mind-body approaches to fertility, pregnancy, birth and parenthood - blending her training as a Marriage & Family therapist with her holistic expertise and deep spiritual connection.