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How to choose a vintage engagement ring

Jared from Erstwhile Jewelry is a fifth generation jeweler. His family opened their first jewelry shop in Russia in the 1800s, so "I've been surrounded by the business since I was little," he says. Here, he reveals seven tips for choosing an antique engagement ring...

Do you know what kind of ring she likes?
Lots of guys come in with no idea what their girlfriend might want. One foolproof style is a diamond in the center with a couple stones on the shoulders. Also, Pinterest has been a big help. Guys will come in and say, this is my girlfriend’s Pinterest page and she has a bunch of rings on it. So we figure out her style based on that.

What’s your budget?
Unless you’re a billionaire, you’re guided by budget. You can get something very inexpensive, or the sky’s the limit. Price is generally dictated by the size and quality of the center stone. If you have a tight budget, you can choose a smaller clear white diamond or a bigger darker diamond. For a diamond, avoid any color grade below K (too yellow) or any cut grade below Very Good (not enough sparkle). Personally, I’d choose a better cut and clearer color over more carats, but if she's expecting a boulder, your choice is made for you. But, ultimately, the style resonates most.

What’s her ring size?
Sneak into her jewelry box, and borrow a ring to show the jeweler. But don’t worry if you don’t know your girlfriend’s size; you can always resize the ring after you get engaged. Rings can be sized by any jeweler; it’s super simple, it’s Jeweler 101.

Does she follow trends?
If your girlfriend is fashion-forward, we can help you figure out what she might like. Yellow gold Victorian rings are in huge demand right now, although they’re hard to find. Ninety percent of people want the ring to have a low profile, versus having the diamond rising way up off the finger. Art Deco is a huge trend now—picture the Chrysler building and the Empire State Building, with geometric lines and hard angles.

What does she do for a living?
Does she work with her hands? You might want to avoid a more delicate ring. My stepmother is animated with her hands, and I know she’s broken jewelry just by talking!

Are you working with a jeweler you trust?
Often guys want to get engaged as soon as possible—there’s a romantic sense of urgency—but you should take time to find a jeweler you trust. When buying online, you can figure out which jewelers are trustworthy from the online community. Look at reviews from other customers—for example, our reviews are on Yelp. Don’t just look at the testimonials on the company’s site, since the company can handpick those! Also check their return policy: make sure they give you enough time to see the ring and confirm that you love it—at least 14 days.

Would she prefer a new or antique diamond?
Vintage diamonds have a soul to them, a history, a story to tell. Anything old has that great feel—an old pair of jeans, an old jacket, it has already been alive and stood the test of time. A new diamond looks so squeaky clean. In art, if you take a perfectly straight line, it’s not going to be nearly as appealing to the eye as a line that’s broken a little. When things are off just a bit, they appeal to the eye more than something that’s completely perfect. Vintage engagement rings are soulful and one of a kind. Plus, the most eco-friendly and conflict-free diamond is an old one. You’ll wear for the rest of your life; you want it to be special. Thanks, Jared! And December is by far the most popular month for engagements, according to the New York Times. Are any of you anticipating a popped question? :)

253 comments:

I would also say that some ladies (like this one) don't necessarily want a diamond. My engagement ring is an Edwardian citrine that may look like a cocktail ring to a lot of folks, but is my pride and joy.

And then there's the possibility of avoiding the ring olympics altogether, and getting a diamond-free ring! (A diamond-free ring is likely more conflict-free than an antique ring, as it isn't pulling an existing diamond off the market and driving up general demand for diamonds)

design is mine has a nice collection of non-traditional wedding rings.

I think a vintage ring would be fun! I normally just wear my wedding band because it doesn't match my engagement ring at all. But my engagement ring is a ruby, and something my husband chose by himself for me so I love it!!!!

I was lucky enough to be proposed to with a seriously stunning (if I do say so myself...) Art Deco engagement ring and I couldn't be happier with it!

I love that it has a history, has already survived a marriage, and this symbol of our love didn't take anything else out of the earth. It's truly unique! I also went vintage for my wedding band which I cannot wait to receive this June!

The hubs and I went shopping for my ring together, which was actually quite romantic! And then he went back and ordered it later, getting a bigger diamond without sacrificing quality hehehe ;) I love my sparkly stone! And to your questions, I did not cry at my wedding. I'm not really a crier.

I've been drawn to brown and grey diamonds lately. And I have always loved white gold but being paired with brown or grey diamonds I am totally loving yellow gold. http://pinterest.com/iamahoneybee/if-only/

I'm so glad you wrote this! I have a vintage wedding ring and I love it so much. People often think we went with vintage just to be trendy but it means so much to me that the one piece of jewelry I'll wear for the rest of my life is conflict-free. Plus I love the idea that my diamonds are "soulful". I love to imagine the woman that wore my ring before me.

Mine is "vintage" because it was my husbands great-grandmother's ring :) It's a European cut diamond (I can't remember the actual name of the cut right now) that isn't done much any more (one jeweler thought it was mounted upside-down because he wasn't familiar with the cut), and the ring itself is rose gold, I LOVE it.

Question to everyone: Do you still wear your engagement ring after marriage? I know some do, some don't. How do you decide? Is it better to invest in a wedding ring you love if you won't wear the engagement ring for the rest of your life?

Thanks so much for writing this post. I've got a yellow-gold sapphire & diamond engagement ring that is "vintage" in that it belonged to my grandmother (my grandfather gave it to her in the 50s, and she gave it to me not long before she passed away). I love it like crazy because it has so much personal meaning, it stands out from everyone else's identical ring clones, and also because it's conflict-free.

Thanks Joanna, great post. I do have a quick question, to go with these rings (especially the 3rd one down) what wedding band would you pick? A lot of these styles of rings aren't the most conducive to a band resting flat against it, any tips?

I do! But I mix and match every day to keep it interesting. My wedding ring set includes 4 rings: my 1940s box set diamond engagement ring, my 1930s antique diamond wedding band, a diamond band I purchased from the sale of my wedding gown, and a sapphire band my husband gave me for my 30th birthday. I stack them differently every day... sometimes I only wear 1 or 2, sometimes 3, sometimes all 4! But I am still unbelievably in love with my engagement ring!

Love this! I have a vintage wedding ring (didn't go for an engagement and a wedding ring, just wanted the one) and I love it so much. It's completely unique and just my style. I like that I don't see the style everywhere and that it's a timeless design (from the late 1800s I think) Going to a jeweler I trusted (Doyle & Doyle in NYC is wonderful, and their website is great) made a huge difference. They were very helpful and completely low pressure. Antique/Vintage is the way to go!

I have a vintage engagement ring, art deco style, from Doyle & Doyle. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. My husband and I picked it out together, which was such an amazing and memorable experience. He surprised me when he actually proposed, so the element of "popping the question" still happened. @msp - I wondered about this too, and ended up wearing a simple band on my left ring finger, and my engagement ring on my right. You can also get a slightly bent wedding band if you want them to sit side by side.

Thanks for the post, not everyone sees the beauty in a vintage ring (like I do). My boyfriend for example, he thinks it is creepy to want a ring that someone else has worn. I will admit, I still go to Erstwhile.com everyday to see if my ring has sold to someone else, but I know I will be happy with whatever he gets me.

My boyfriend and I recently went ring shopping online, waiting to see it in real life is so exciting, I have no idea when he'll propose! I also didn't want a new diamond to avoid the social/environmental impacts, and asked for a moissanite stone instead. It took a lot of convincing for my boyfriend, he is very romantic and liked the tradition of proposing with a diamond. He wanted to make sure I wouldn't be disappointed later, but I don't think I will be.

My fiancé got me an antique emerald ring with a few diamonds around it, because he knows emeralds are my favorite stone:) It's so very pretty and people are always commenting on how unique and "me" it is. I was so thrilled that he listened and got me something that suited my personality. A keeper for sure!

Just a word of advice in case you haven't researched this yet... pearls get scratched very easily and I would be wary of wearing one in a ring-- particularly a ring you plan to wear daily. I think part of the reason diamonds are so popular for rings is that they are so hard and won't scratch- period.

A word of caution: I wanted a pearl eternity ring for my wedding band, and found a lovely, unique one and asked my husband for it. He got it for me, after making sure several times that it was really what I wanted. Just 3 months later, all but 4 of the pearls are broken from normal wear = (. Someday when we have money, we'll replace it with a diamond one.

I wear my grandma's vintage diamond set in a new setting my husband picked out. My grandma's wedding diamond was given to her from her great-aunt. The diamond was appraised as a 1890 -1900 old mine cut and I couldn't be happier wearing it. It reminds me of my grandma everyday as she passed away from cancer when I was 15.

My engagement ring is vintage. I purchased it online from a jeweler in my home state of Michigan. My wedding band is also vintage, purchased on eBay, and is almost a perfect match to my ring. I love the older styles and it is just so fun to have something with a previous life. Also, it is a form of recycling... right? If you're in the market for an older ring, look around on the internet. It didn't take my long to find mine!

I'm so happy to have a vintage ring. A family friend steered my now-husband to Dianne's Estate Jewelry in San Francisco (can't recommend them highly enough) and he found an absolutely gorgeous late-deco/early-modern ring that I adore. I love that it's not a new diamond. It has a history and will live on beyond me too! Plus the whole environmentally-friendly, non-conflict diamond thing is cool too. When we went looking for my wedding band we went back to Dianne's and the perfect one was there too- same period, same "soul". Great post, Joanna!

My husband proposed to me with an antique, art deco ring. It's really the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, jewelry wise! He purchased it in the jewelry district here in NYC at an estate jeweler. I love that my ring already has a story to it and that I'm creating a new one. Vintage is the way to go, can't beat the quality and beauty!

There are some beautiful rings here, but I have to say that the idea that vintage diamonds are "conflict-free" shows a pretty disturbing lack of insight into the history of the diamond trade (or of colonialism).

I don't usually comment and this may be a strange one....but I actually have a ring like the second one and would love LOVE love if you could do a post on wedding bands that would go with it. :D I hope that is not too greedy of me to ask.

I have a vintage engagement ring that I fell in love with right when I saw it, and it's an odd shape. I paired it with a separate vintage wedding band that doesn't fit flush at all, but I love the thrown together look of it all. I feel the rings together have much more personality than a pair that was made to fit together. We also purchased both of my rings from the same estate jeweler, which I think was a huge bonus in that both of my rings were purchased from someone with similar taste to my own. While they don't match, they certainly compliment each other.

I got a whopper of a ring that was his great grandmothers. I never thought I really cared about a diamond ring but now that I have it I think it's perfect and I love that it's old and has the family history behind it. Probably a little too fancy for me, but we both sort of agree that the dollar value doesn't really mean much because it's not like I'm going to sell it or anything.

We just got engaged last month with a ring from Jared! We actually picked it out together (my fiancée and I) and Jared said that is really common, actually. He is truly amazing and I could tell he is connected to every piece he owns. Now, one month later, every single time I look at my engagement ring, I get weepy. I've been meaning to email him, actually. I would just love to know how and where he found it. If it does, in fact, have a story. Thanks for this, Joanna. I'm forwarding this to my fiance immediately. :)

My husband gave me his great-grandmother's engagement ring! Which is so special to me. It's a solitaire diamond with a very low setting, which is very uncommon in modern rings, which typically have prongs lifting the diamond from your finger. So regular wedding bands didn't fit flush with my diamond. I decided to have a custom diamond band made, and it has a slight bend in the middle. I love the way they look together, and the fact that I have a new and an old on my ring finger. You can see them here in this post:

I have had a vintage 1930s cluster ring picked out for some time now, and keep hoping it'll still be around when I get hitched. My plan of action is to keep my best friend informed of my ring choice (she already knows about this one) so she can point the guy in the right direction when the time comes. I want a proposal to be a surprise, and ring shopping before an engagement can rain on that parade. So this way, all he'll have to do is ask my best friend for guidance when the time comes and then I'll the ring I want AND be surprised :)

If anyone is in LA and looking into vintage rings, I highly recommend Claude Morady. He and his wife are friends of the family, and he helped me and my husband with our ring, and he has since sold rings to my brother-in-law, and to a friend of mine. He is very knowledgeable and friendly, and his rings are gorgeous. The rings on his site are pretty pricey, but he's got many at lower prices. Six years ago, we got mine, a platinum band with a small diamond from the 1930s, for very little.

I wear my grandmothers wedding band every day with my modern engament ring. It was actually a gift from my father since he knew I loved it but the gold was all worn down from use. He had it refurbished as a surprise wedding gift. My firstborn daughter is actually named Ruth after her and I hope one day she too will wear it as well.

I love these rings! Even though I've already decided that I want a more modern setting, these are just so beautiful. And I'd likeeeee to get a special question asked this month, but I don't think it's going to happen yet! I'm thinking it might be after I finish my marathon :)

Beautiful rings but just out of curiosity, I wonder if there are others who did not want an engagement ring? My husband and I decided together to get married - we both felt it was such a huge decision impacting each of our lives and we felt it was important to come to that decision together.

While we were engaged, I can't tell you how many people came up and asked to see my ring and to hear the proposal story. Even though I felt comfortable with about our approach, it was sometimes a bit awkward to try to explain when people automatically expected that it happened a certain way.

For the record, I love vintage rings and have no problem with engagement rings, proposals and all of that. I guess we just had a bit of a different approach that worked for us.

My husband had my engagement ring made with diamonds that were my great-great-Grandmother's. I love that my ring has a deeper family meaning and I love the tradition of passing down jewelry. My husband proposed 2 weeks before Christmas.. I got my beautiful ring and he got a new Martin guitar.

I was anticipating a December engagement, but it came a bit early! I'm very pleased with my vintage ring. Though I never expressed an interest in receiving a diamond over any other style of ring, including a simple band, I love the way the hand-cut diamond sparkles and shines. The style of the ring is the best part, I agree that style resonates most. The more unique and personalized, the better! :)

I was lucky enough to get my husband's grandmother's ring! I always knew I wanted a vintage engagement ring but I had never anticipated that it would be an heirloom! I love love love it. It took us quite a while to find a band to go with it but it was well worth the search. I love my rings and after nearly three years of wearing my engagement ring I still find myself staring at it on a daily basis.

The setting is 1940s and the diamond is pre-1920s {the jeweler could tell by the way it is cut}:http://daydreaminginturquoise.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-vintage-wedding.html

My engagement ring is vintage and a band can't sit flush against it. I chose to go with a regular wedding band so I can wear it alone without it looking strange. I also love the stacked ring look so it doesn't bother me at all that they don't sit perfectly flush. Plus several of my friends have custom bands that bend around their diamond rings and I have noticed that 90% of the time the rings don't fall together properly and it just looks weird.

If you're interested, here's a picture of mine: http://daydreaminginturquoise.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-vintage-wedding.html

My engagement ring is from an estate jewelry auction, Doyle and Doyle. It's so beautiful and unique. My fiancé and I went to the preview sale to look at rings and this we knew was the one! It's a yellow diamond with a halo setting in platinum. So, so beautiful! I would recommend Doyle and Doyle over and over again!

This post is so fitting! I was just engaged this past Thursday and was presented with his grandmothers and mothers, classic, vintage, diamond ring! It's so perfect for me and most similar to the one in the middle picture! I love it and his family, and knowing that he asked me with the ring that his grandmother wore for 20+years, his mom for 22, and me now! Such a history of love and beautiful women!

I have always admired the vintage rings and couldn't be happier to have such a special one on my finger now! I can't wait to pass it on to an eldest boy someday! Enjoying it for the years to come for now!

I'm with you guys. My first time around, my engagement/ wedding set was the typical round-cut diamond with small diamonds along the band. While I still think it's beautiful, I think I may have just gotten caught up in what I thought wedding rings were *supposed* to look like. If I were to get married again, I would definitely go with a non-diamond, vintage ring. Something different that stands out in the sea of current wedding jewelry.

While we were involved, I can't tell you how many individuals came up and requested to see my band and to listen to the offer tale. Even though I sensed relaxed with about our strategy, it was sometimes a bit uncomfortable to try to describe when individuals instantly predicted that it occurred a certain way.Engagement ring

I have a blog that is 90% about engagement rings, and 10% about other jewelry, tattoos, dogs, and nick cave. I have a running feature called Show Me You Ring where I have readers submit a photo of their engagement ring along with their engagement story. I'd love to have some of you vintage ring-owners to submit! http://jewelryandotherthings.blogspot.com

I just got engaged a month ago- here's how it all went down (http://stayontheride.blogspot.com/2012/11/engaged.html) and my Fiance got my ring from Jared at Erstwhile! He couldn't say enough nice things about working with Jared and I LOVE my ring!

My ring is a hand-made replica of an art deco ring. My husband knew I wanted something vintage but simple and had a hard time finding something of the quality he was looking for. He ended up going to Leigh Jay Nacht (http://antiqueengagementrings.com/shopping/default.asp) there in New York and Leigh was GREAT to work with (I ended up buying my wedding ring form him too). He sells antique rings and settings, as well as gorgeously crafted reproductions. I highly recommend.

One very important pointer was left out - does she have metal allergies? I have the most horrible, painful reactions to nickel (which is very often alloyed with gold to give it the strength necessary to hold its shape) that persist for *months* at a time. If my boyfriend were to give me a gold ring, no matter how beautiful, I would not allow it on my finger.

My fiance got my vintage ring at Ross Simmons Atlanta from their estate collection...he did an amazing job, it's a beautiful art deco style ring with a carat center stone and small sapphire and diamonds in geometric patterns on both sides...the woman that sold him the ring did an amazing job...I'd recommend Ross Simmons Estate collections to anyone interested in a vintage ring, if you don't have a store near you their website is great too!

My husband proposed to me with his great-grandmother's engagement ring from 1904. It's a classic solitaire in rose gold and the diamond is from Arkansas where his great grandfather is from and engraved with their wedding date. I also have wedding band, also engraved with their wedding date and initials. Since the ring was so fragile and needed to be resized, we took it to Tiny Jewel Box in DC (between Farragut North and Dupont) on Connecticut and had both rings resized, saving the original engraving and putting in new shanks. I love the history o

My engagement ring is also vintage; from the 1940s. We purchased it together at a pawn shop -- not very romantic, but at the same time very romantic. We were young and broke but found a gorgeous ring. My ring looks just like the ring in the second-to-last photo above.

My ring isn't vintage, but I love it! We got engaged in August. We went and looked at rings at one great store together. I didn't think he'd buy it, but he actually bought the one I liked most. Funny thing is, earlier that month he gave me his late grandmother's beautiful oval garnet and gold solitaire ring as a gift. I thought he was proposing then. I love both!

Outstanding post and great photos. I struggled with what to buy jewlery for my wife but ended up settling on a nice art deco ring. It took me forever to get it cleaned properly but once I did it was brilliant!

The modern day bride prefers to have some modern wearable items of gold jewelry in her trousseau. Not many would like to be weighed down by heavy jewelry that cannot be worn often and will be more an invitation for thieves. pearl and crystal wedding jewelry

I really love this post, and I think it's the perfect entry seriously. Vintage rings are so awesome. Check out this collection of cool vintage-inspired rings: http://refer.ly/back_in_the_day___vintage_inspired_engagement_rings/c/852b41f261c611e2b5ab22000a1db8fa

Really great info?.I feel more folks should be required to read this.The modern day bride prefers to have some modern wearable items of gold jewelry in her trousseau. Beautiful rings but just out of curiosity.Man it gives us free valuable information.This is a nice content !! See you again.____________________________________________________________________

Wedding rings should be of diamond for those who van afford it.Before purchasing diamonds lots of things should be kept in mind.Diamond is the purest form of gift in wedding ceremony.I am sure the bride as well as groom will feel special and heavenly if they both gift themselves a beautiful diamond engagement ring.It can bring a special moment in your new life.

I think that International people wear ring tend to wear in the left hand, and because they believe that faith in god's left hand is god for luck. And both hands to wear ring is China's domestic and international distinction, the Chinese often left hand ring finger wear ring said newlyweds, the right hand ring finger wear ring said single and married socialist. So for a long time will form the left hand symbol of marriage, the right hand implies love unique wear method.tungsten rings

Thanks a lot for sharing this! I love anything vintage! While I'm not engaged, I have friends who are. They said that they knew their boyfriends were going to propose because they talked about their lives and where they were headed. One of my close friends even said she new her boyfriend bought her a pre owned engagement ring and she was totally fine with it as she's all about the vintage.

These are pretty pretty diamond engagement rings. When I get engaged though I wont wear the typical diamond engagement rings that’s common nowadays. Maybe I’ll go with a custom-made ring for my engagement or if I can’t afford it, a non-diamond ring?

I still think it's beautiful, I think I may have just gotten caught up in what I thought wedding rings were *supposed* to look like. If I were to get married again, I would definitely go with a non-diamond, vintage ring. I like them so much. wedding rings

I love the content and pics of this blog, keep it up! Designer Engagement Rings are an enhancement of beauty, the beauty of a woman or a man is enhanced by wearing earrings or some other kind of jewelries.

Extremely beneficial posting. I just bookmark your blog plus would like to say that I have really appreciated while reading your content. Thank you for spreading the information with all.Engagement invitations

If you are planning on 'popping the question' you are bound to have thought about engagement rings. The huge variety available can make choosing the right ring for your partner a daunting task. In this article we look at vintage and antique diamond rings and why you may wish to consider them.

Using a center stone besides a diamond would also be favorable for this style of ring. Or if you want a diamond, opt for a fancy shape like a pear shaped diamond or marquise diamonds. Fancy shapes were also popular during the retro era.

Great blog post. You brought up some good points to consider. The antique style/vintage rings have been a long time favorite of mine. I've been eying up this collection of Brilliant Earth's lately.. simply stunning and timeless pieces. Love how the sapphire just adds the right pop of color: http://www.brilliantearth.com/search/?q=antique+engagement+rings#/?page=3

Thanks for the useful tips. I have been looking for engagement rings in Utah for my lady and I am wondering if you have heard of ringsutah.com. My budget is not very big. So help would be great. Thanks.

Cool article. Vintage is a tricky word to define, everything seems to be vintage these days! I bought a gently used engagement ring from HaveYouSeentheRing.com. I like to call it vintage, but a lot of people would disagree!

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