ICYMI: I’m a big girl, and I’m fine with That: By Clodagh

We first published this post by Clodagh a year ago. And its so good, we decided to share it again….

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the way I am. Seems like a pretty vague statement. But it’s true… what is that way?

FAT. F. A. T. Fat…

I’ve heard every joke I can think of from bullies, all my life. I’ve been harshly rejected from guys because of my weight. I’ve had people make comments on nights out. I’ve had people not want to be my friend because of how I look. Anything you can think of, I’ve had it.

I’ve also tried everything imaginable to lose the weight. I’ve starved myself. I’ve gotten sick on purpose. I’ve done Weight Watchers, gyms, fitness classes, extreme diets, shakes, smoothies, supplementary foods, skipping meals, everything bar surgery. I’ve probably been on some sort of diet since I was about 12. And there’s rarely been a time in my life where I was happy with my body and how it looked. I have a stomach, love handles, big thighs, double chin, I have it all. But you know what I’ve FINALLY learned after those years of dieting, what has finally clicked with me?

I’m finally at a time in my life, where I’m comfortable with the way I look, my extra bits in extra places. Yeah there’s things I want to change, everyone has those. And that’s perfectly okay. I like how I look, I like the size I am! I’m happy, well I’m trying to be at least. I’m comfortable with my body. I don’t mind that I can’t wear those skin tight dresses that I’ve always wanted, matter of fact, I probably never will. And that’s okay. I’m losing weight slowly now for myself, not for everyone else. Not for those people who called me names, not for the guys who were harsh in their rejections towards me. I’m doing it to prove to myself that I can. But the important thing is that while I am the size I’m at now, I might as well embrace it! I could turn around in the morning, and not want to lose any more weight, and if I do, who cares!

What I want people to get out of this is just to know that you need to do this for you, not for anyone else. It’s your body, no one else’s.

Talk to yourself, no matter how odd it may seem! Tell yourself things like….

“I don’t really mind the way I look right now, I don’t mind all those bulges”

“I actually look good in those jeans.”

“Damn Clodagh your ass looks great!”

“I feel a bit sluggish. So lets try and eat healthy for a bit, and if I lose those pounds, I’ll be happy! But if I don’t, I know I still look fabulous”

And look, if someone doesn’t like you or is abusive because of your weight, they’re not worth it, and honestly have nothing better to be doing.

Sure in my mind I have my ideal size, my ideal figure, but it’s not a size 8. It’s honestly not a flat stomach or skinny legs. My ideal size, is me. My ideal size is Clodagh, a healthy and fit Clodagh, and a happy one at that.