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I think the best way to do it would be to take one piece of flaked coconut and place it some where on top of the frosting then barely cover it with icing. Everyone will think it's a joke until someone gets something slightly crunchy and toe nail sized in their mouth.

Yeah, but I'm not sadistic. There's a reason that no indigenous cuisine grew to include the bhot jolokia or related peppers: There's just no need to get that hot. That, and you'd get maybe two bites in before ditching the whole muffin: If they don't, then you've played a prank on the wrong person.

I saved all four of my kids' teeth when they lost them --especially the gnarly molars. Everyone once in a while, I'll take one when we're invited to a party and leave it on the side of an appetizer plate with a broken cracker or in a bit of hard cheese and set it a little off to the side where it won't be noticed until clean-up after all the guests have gone home.

This is...quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've read all day. I would pay good money to see the puzzled/horrified faces. Have you ever heard any stories after that made you have to stifle a laugh, or do you fess up?

You want a toenail? I can get you a toenail, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toenail by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

This actually happened to me. An employee of mine (a man who reported directly to me, had the office next door) brought in cookies his husband baked. I ate one and pulled out of my mouth what was obviously a large fingernail.

I never said anything to my employee because I knew he'd be mortified. He didn't bake the cookies. I did tell another co-worker. She came into my office and confirmed: yep, that's a nail.

He later split up from his cookie-baking husband under very unpleasant and presumably unrelated circumstances.

Not everyone gets to work with only nice and normal people. I've known and worked with plenty of people of whom I'd easily believe that they might well have put an actual toenail in there. There are two broad categories.

First there are the "jokers" who find the most asinine things funny, even things that lead to someone else getting hurt. (One example being an idiot who loosened some fastenings in a colleague's chair, causing him to topple over and hit his head hard enough to get a gash that needed some glueing. That was apparently lulzy.)

And then there are the genuine freaks. (I've known plenty of those: a tinfoil-hatty fellow who was convinced that the CIA was after him and another dude who'd come to work with a bagful of raw, unwashed potatoes and would proceed to peel and eat them while he worked and who'd wax lyrical about the sterile nature of wee being perhaps the most memorable one's.)

(Of course there's the third category of bitter arsehole seeking revenge, but they'd never announce the existence of the toenail beforehand.)

And lastly, more often than not one actually doesn't know one's co-workers well enough to know for sure if they actually are crazy enough to feed you something that you don't want to eat.

i wish someone would make toenail cakes in my office. do you deliver? do you get a cake from Walmart, put a toenail in it, and then repackage it? if so, i only want it if you'll mark up the price considerably.