Saturday, June 2, 2007

When I met Mike he was living in the Bayou with three other guys from school and it had pretty much become frat central. Being a nice guy, Mike slept everynight with ear plugs rather than complaining as I certainly would have done!Well, ever since then we always have a package of ear plugs laying around and sometimes you just need them living in an apartment. I never thought I could sleep with ear plugs in but they are actually pretty great.ANYWAY. So my downstairs neighbors were having one of their drunken orgy parties the other night so I borrowed a pair of ear plugs from mike. In the morning I left them on my nightstand and didn't even think about them again until last night when Mike asked where the ear plugs he gave me were. I was confused by this because he has a whole package but I turned to look over at the nightstand where I had left them and they were gone. I had an immediate flashback to coming home and finding Maya sitting in the middle of our bed gnawing on Mike's glasses that he had left on HIS nightstand.Sure enough. Mike said that she pooped out two whole ear plugs-- slightly discolored.This little dog's stomach is an anomoly. I actually feel bad for her intestines. What I don't understand is how she sat chewing the first one as if it was tasteless gum and then swallowing it (can you imagine swallowing an ear plug?) I'm so lucky that she didn't choke!!!! Apparently the whole thing was a good experience because she did it again with the other one!I feel like a terrible person! I have a hoover vaccuum for a dog and I have been so lucky so far. Maya has in her life time eaten more pizza in one sitting than I could ever hope to eat. She has eaten and pooped out two ear plugs, the cotton tips of thousands of dirty Q-tips, a cupcake paper, and who knows what else. I think its time to re-evaluate the puppy proofing of my home....

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About Me

-I am, at once, highly ambitious and extremely lazy.
-I like to pick fights with people on Apartmentratings.com.
-I believe in survival of the fittest and eat or be eaten. I think children should be raised to claw their way to the top and know the difference between right and wrong. In that respect, I believe Liberal America is destroying what is great about freedom and about living in general.
-I have never been able to wear high heels for more than five minutes.
-Processed lunch meat makes me think of people who may be missing limbs. This fact disturbs me as much as it just disturbed you.
-The theme song to Unsolved Mysteries has been known to make me cry.
-I once ate a boullion cube.