SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS

Don’t get me wrong: orgasms are fantastic. They are fabulous. They are delicious. They are pleasurable. They are savory. They are so freaking good!!! However, we have been learning this sex thing all wrong.

When I started having sex, I remember my lovers asking me if I had “cum”. After the first few tries and experiences, sex did feel good. Sex actually felt amazing. However, I did not know what an orgasm was, really, or if I was experiencing them. All I knew was that sex felt really good and that I enjoyed it tremendously. Nonetheless, I knew that orgasm was the prize, the goal and the reward, or so I learned from all the times I was asked if I’d had one.

Eventually, after a lot of practice, I learned if I was having an orgasm and when I did not. I still enjoyed sex and, when my partner seemed disappointed on the fact that I had not had an orgasm, I assured him that I enjoyed the sex immensely, regardless. It was not until I learned my body that I was able to decipher my orgasmic response and be in tune with it, and obviously that took a lot of practice. But once I learned what my orgasm was all about and how to reach it, I was able to guide every sexual encounter to the finish line, to the satisfaction of both me and my partner.

And then I became multiorgasmic…

What is better than being orgasmic? Being multiorgasmic. Or so I thought…

I created a sexual map that led me to have orgasms left and right, assisted by my partner. I was able to enjoy wave after wave of orgasm and it felt divine, celestial, heavenly! During the heat of passion, my body responded to the rhythm of sex as if though it had learned a song that I could sing over and over again. My G-spot was active and eager, squirting was a decadent part of the menu and I was enjoying spasm after spasm of pure bliss during my sexual encounters. I thought I had it all figured out. But then I was surprised to learn that orgasm is not the last frontier.

Sex is more than a penis and a vagina

As a sexologist, I understand sex. I study sex. I treat sexual concerns. I educate people about sex. I know how sex works. I also know that our sexual experiences can change over time, hopefully for the better. As my orgasms have “matured”, so has my outlook on them. I have learned that orgasm is not the last frontier; our minds are. When the mind is unleashed without limits, the body follows without resistance. When we are not restrained by the chains of shame and guilt, we are free to express ourselves in a way in which we did not dare to before. When our brains are free to be completely sexual, there’s nothing the body won’t accomplish. Pleasure has no limit or end. Orgasms are everywhere. The joy of sex lies on the connectivity of mind, body and soul that defies the physical world. Freedom is the last frontier.

When we are free sexually, orgasms are not a goal or a prize to be had after labor. Rather, orgasms are in abundance and readily available, without definitions or reasons. Therefore, orgasms are the means to experience freedom; the freedom we are all called and entitled to have.