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Funny satire stories about stress

Hello. My name is Jackson Hoff. As a life-long editor of one publication after another, I feel it is my responsibility, occasionally, to supply a sharp, biting view of (insert topic here). I've thought long and hard about that responsibility. I think that was at breakfast like a week ago. I bet I spent 20 minutes straight kicking that around. I was deep into it when the cat knocked my pineapple ju...

BEVERLY HILLS - Justin Bieber's mother, Pattie Mallettte, traveled from her home in Canada to Beverly Hills to visit one of the nation's best stress doctors.
Ms. Mallette told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that her son Justy has literall...

LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell is a very private individual who does not like to give interviews. But he did sit down recently with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight.
De Gallo asked the man known as The Sultan of Sarcasm how many T-shirts he has.

Here, in the latest in his series "10 Things to Do," Nigel St. Faversham explores the options available to those of us struggling with a slow computer. Whether due simply to a full memory, or corrupted to oblivion with countless tics and viruses from the internet, a quick run-through our Top Ten will soon restore your love affair with the laptop, or at the very least keep that stroke at bay for ju...

In a research study that confounded scientists, it was revealed that Americans live in constant state of hurry - and 99% of the rushers don't want to arrive at the place they're rushing to get to!
Says Dr. Anna Klein, Director of the Center for Am...

Yesterday I said goodbye to the last class I will teach
Yes I've retired but stuck it out - put the bit between my teeth.
I started out in England in 1973
Three years of teachers' college there
Was more than enough for me.
My teaching job I did enjoy
Each little girl, each little boy
Some keen to learn,some keen to play.
I enjoyed each and every day.
And then I moved to Canada
Wher...

Tension coloured the Royal Family's annual gathering at Sandringham today as the burden of entertaining a houseful of relations became too much for the Queen.
"As usual," sighed a Lady-in-Waiting," she's tried to do too much. She was up to three...

Scientists in Switzerland made the shocking discovery last Tuesday that the social phenomenon of 'Mondayitis' has made its way into Tuesday.
Confirmation of this was made when employees developed the telltale signs- lack of energy and increased ap...

Hot on the heels of the astounding revelation that 70% of Britons are stressed out over work, a follow up report states categorically that 30% of Britons don't give a toss about work.
Critics say that it's attitudes like this which have contribute...

New figures released today reveal the an astonishing 70% of Britons spend sleepless nights worrying about work, for a bewildering variety of reasons.
Since the recession kicked in, British workers have revealed that they are working too hard, for...

For some reason, the World Health Organization has checked and rechecked their numbers and they have concluded that England has the highest percentage of heart attack victims in the world with the United States coming in a close second.
"So far we...

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Katherine Zeta-Jones says that her recent rough facial appearance is due to recent bouts of unbounded stress.
The actress, who readily admits that she is still stunningly beautiful, confessed that she has gained four pounds withi...

A slap from Mom might sound painful, but new research shows that just hearing her voice can initiate the same sorts of biochemical responses - even when Mommy Dearest is communicating by phone.
The human body produces the hormone cortisol as a re...

Following a national increase in reported cases of carpel tunnel syndrome, the American Medical Association has released a report targeting stress balls as the root cause.
Researched by Dr. Hayman Getoff-Maiklowd, recently reported CPS cases seeme...

Intelligence Gathering Agencies in the U.K. have disclosed the effect of stress on their operatives in a new report out today. It has long been known that terrorist cells have been communicating with each other through pornographic web sites.
In...

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced to the world today that he is feeling stressed out!
Could it be the US drones who follow him everywhere including the bathroom threatening to blow his ass up? Or perhaps it is the fact that Irania...

Children at the Smegmadale-on-Sea Church of Latter Day Morons Primary School will no longer be presented with a short list of words to learn each week as teachers believe it leaves them distressed and feeling like failures.
Teenagers attending Sme...

My mom went to the doctor to see about a pain in her shoulder. The doc ran the usual litany of tests including x-rays, EKG, MRI, mammogram, EEG, stress tests, the urinalysis, the electro-cario zuberator and the Machine that Goes *PING* test. After several hours and numerous specialists the doctor gave her the results.
"Mrs Babe, I am afraid you have a pain in your shoulder", the d...

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