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Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Being Besties

I have joined another KnitAlong – woo hoo!

Westy’s Besties starts on 8 February and includes 12 new Stephen West designs for colourwork, accessories and full-scale garments and Jared Flood’s photography of Iceland. And wool. Did I mention the wool?

24 comments:

Insecurity and illness are both so hard to deal with, both for the person suffering them and the people trying to love them.

My mum has been battling cancer since about this time last year, and I have been surprised at how much it has affected me. (I obviously expected to be worried and sad, but there's been so many other, unexpected feelings and weights too. I guess they all come back to the worry and sads but it's come in so many different shapes!)

I'm glad you and FL were about to talk and understand each other better. Much love.

Why is it that these itchy moments that happen in every marriage so often coincide with gray, winter weather? Is it in part cabin fever, on top of the worries of a sick person, who is also an aging person with all the insecurities that come with great age? Ah, Roo, I'm glad you were able to weather this storm. It's the best part of marriage, I think, the solemn vow that deeply connects us -- that allows us to be truly ourselves, secure in the knowledge that the other has promised never to leave us. That deep love, the love that proves itself by doing, over time, is the great reward: we could leave, but we don't. We don't leave.

Love and life are complex, more so when facing serious illness and possibly death. Illness and the medical system take over our lives, we are left seemingly powerless...except in these small spaces where we claim some power to influence. Sending strength & patience to you both for the days ahead. xo

So sorry to read of your tribulations after your exultant post, post York. I feel for you both. The changing nature of roles in a relationship as illness and age are dealt with are so often not easy for either party to accommodate whatever practicalities may dictate. Now that you're through this blip relax and enjoy the knitting. Hugs

I'm so sorry, Roo. What he is blind to is that it's always great to get away from one's home, life, and see things with new purpose. It's terrifically energizing. But, because he's sick he thinks of himself first. He can't help that, but he sees your returning fire and happiness as proof certain that he is bringing you down. I live with someone who's been battling different illness for a decade, and it's very hard on a healthy spouse. Chin up, Roo, and keep taking care of yourself. Don't stop planning trips for yourself if FL cannot come along. But, yes, sometime the sick one needs even more reassurance than the healthy one can remember to give.

I think that illness tends to bring out our insecurities anyhow, and it sounds as if your separation (even if for a very positive reason) brought up some fears in him. (Wasn't he the one who encouraged you to make the trip while you could? But these kinds of fears are not rational.)

I'm really glad you were able to talk it through and are on a better footing now. And hooray for knitting!

i'm so glad you posted this glimpse into what spouses dealing with cancer go through. so many of us go through such a roller coaster of emotional glitches and it's sometimes so bewildering. sharing the process of finally getting to the bottom of what caused things to go wonky, along with insights gained will help other CGs not to feel alone when they encounter similar circumstances. thank you for sharing with such candor and compassion.

Oh Roo, I'm so sorry to hear of your heartache. I know there's nothing I can do but I wish I could. Just know that I, along with a zillion other people, am sending you all the affection and virtual hugs I can

Roo, what a difficult time for you both and thankfully you have come through ok. I very much admire your honesty and candour in your posts and hope that all the comments here help. Weather certainly seems to make these feelings worse. Here's to some sunshine and fresh spring air..

Roo, sorry to be late here, but when I saw your mist recent post I realised something's not been right judging by yor references. So, I'm glad you seem to have one through a hard week, but huge hugs and thinking of ou. Hope the weekend is a good one x

Sounds like life has been cruel. Whatever happens, always listen to your instinct. I suppose it canned healthy to question it and examine it from time to time but when all is said and done your instinct is an integral part of who you are and as such deserves to be listened to. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when you act on instinct, come from a place of love and compassion then that will ultimately shine through.XC

My daughter was away from her husband on a long-planned reunion with her sister when she received a phone call from him, asking her to come home. She said (he had been suffering with back pain and sinus issues for months) it can't be that bad, can it? And told him she'd head home the next day. That night he was taken to the ER and nearly died, dx was MM... now they both have these huge anxieties about being away from each other for different reasons. And guilt. It's the underlying theme that seems to go along with the disease, and it is not helpful.

But taking time away from the situation is necessary for everyone - and the risk is always there, but mental health for the caregiver is essential because of the day-to-day demands. Sending you hugs, Roo, and glad to hear conversation helped.

About Me

I live with my First Love (FL) after half a lifetime apart.
In July 2007 he was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma.
We got married in December 2007.
Carpe diem.
There is lots of wind and sky where I live.
I love reading and stitching and creating things.
I aim to make all my own clothing
or purchase it from ethically-minded
independent creators.
For now. For always.