I remember all the pretty dresses of my life: The white chiffon with spaghetti straps, the crisp black taffeta, the one with strawberries.

Recently, though, when I was invited to a fancy party, I realized I needed a new pretty dress.

On my shoestring budget, I skipped the malls and headed to the thrift stores.

In the dressing room, I found myself cursing the advances of middle age. The $14 black-and-white taffeta pressed uncomfortably around my middle. The vintage black-and-crepe linen was a steal at $20, but it didn’t even fit over my hips. And my arms looked mushy in that $19 sleeveless number.

Pretty dresses just aren’t what they used to be, I decided.

But I did walk away from my dress shopping with two dust ruffles ($4.99), a Holiday Inn bath mat ($1.99) and a framed oil painting of a pug named Simon ($49).

Back at home, I changed into my stretchy yoga pants and breathed easier — literally. As I puttered around the house, washing the linens and hanging the painting, I got to thinking about how I don’t even like fancy parties anymore — if I ever did. I’m much happier cocooning at home, accessorized only by my children and my dog.

Although, I must admit, I do love a glass of champagne. And, I already RSVPed and arranged for a baby sitter.

So, after a day off from the dressing room, I set out glumly again for the second-hand shops. This time, I found a perfect dress for a fancy party: It’s gold and it sparkles. It cost just $10. It won’t fit me, it’s just a 5T. But that’s OK. It’s for my daughter. She’s so much easier to shop for, you know.

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