Unreported

A lighthearted look at the week

Last updated 07:19 15/02/2013

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OPINION:
Naughty cycling fan

Just like everyone else, the small team at Unreported dislikes tattletales and their crying-to- mummy antics. But sometimes we do things in spite of ourselves and this is why we're going to spill the beans on New Plymouth District Council Let's Go cycling guru Carl Whittleston. In what must surely be a "do as I say, not as I do" moment, Carl was spotted cycling on the newly refurbished Pendarves St sans cycle helmet. Crikey, Carl. We were shocked. What next, no trouser clips?

Fun prohibited at park

Sticking with cycling, we would like to congratulate the Taranaki Cycle Park in Bell Block for having the most unwelcoming welcome sign we have ever seen. In large letters, park users are told they can only use the velodrome in an anti-clockwise direction, they use the park at their own risk, they cannot smoke, bring their dog, have glass, horses or motorised vehicles and there is definitely no room for skateboards. Unreported is thinking of taking a unicycle- riding shetland pony to the park and letting off some fireworks, not because we want to, but because it's the only thing not specifically forbidden. Lighten up, chaps.

Stop with the advertising

Now to space, where earthly rules mean nothing and petty bureaucracy is put into a healthy perspective. What is it with this sudden craze of astronauts in the International Space Station taking photos of Mt Taranaki and posting them on Twitter? We know it is a handsome mountain and a perfect example of a conical volcano. But that doesn't mean we want everyone else to know. Crikey, some of them might come here, and frankly, it is hard enough for our small team to get a free park in Carrington St as it is.

Unpleasant visitors

Talking of visitors, we turn to the good folk of the cruise ship Caledonian Sky and their Wednesday visit to New Plymouth. A smartly dressed reporter at this paper had the gumption to approach a pair of these travellers to see what they thought of the city. It didn't quite go according to plan, with the English pair mistaking him for a hawker and rudely demanding identification. Come now, chaps, the reporter didn't ask you for identification. Mind you, it was obvious you were from a cruise ship. The expansive waistlines, white walk socks and boorish behaviour gave it away.

Goodbye for now

Even though we don't deserve it, Unreported will be taking a holiday for the next few weeks and won't be back before March 15. No tears, please. We promise we're coming back.