“Hamdog” sounds like the name of a sexual position that involves Jon Hamm splitting you in two with his Hammaconda as he does you doggy style. But over in Australia, a “Hamdog” is what happens when a hot dog meets a hamburger at a hot spot (the grill), sweet talks it, gets between those beef patties and goes in good. Three seconds after that picture was taken, that Hamdog was covered with mayonnaise. And yes, I’m actually writing food porn. It’s come to this.

The Mercury says that the godfather of the Hamdog is Mark Murray from Perth and he got a US patent for his creation in 2009. Mark took the Hamdog to the Australian Shark Tank last year, but the sharks didn’t recognize a phallic culinary masterpiece when they saw one. Mark didn’t get one offer. But those sharks are going to smother their words all over a Hamdog and eat them up, because Mark is selling it for $8 (around 6 USD) at fairs all over Australia. Mark’s also selling franchise rights for $10,000 and he’s hoping to make vegan, gluten-free and vegetarian versions of the Hamdog soon. Here’s a little video of Mark’s team making Hamdogs. THIS is Brit Brit Spears’ porn:

If Mark ever brings it to the US, he’s going to have to do it bigger than that. That is way too simple for us. That’s a light snack! He’s going to have to give us the Hamdog-mozzabacoring, which is a hot dog and a mozzarella stick DPing a hamburger patty as crisp pieces of bacon fuck onions rings on top of them. We need a whole orgy in our mouth. With that being said, I’d still eat that hot dog as it does sex with that hamburger. Hot dog hamburger sex probably tastes delicious.

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