See Also

“Just Say No” Fails

by David J. Hanson, Ph.D.

“America’s Doctor,” Dean Edell, M.D., observes
that by expecting young people to abstain from alcohol until the
age of 21, we fail to teach them moderation in drinking. But the
“just say no” approach is a failure. “First of
all, they don’t abstain anyway, they just do it behind their
parents’ backs.” Those who promote the teaching of moderation,
“including academics, writers, and family doctors, regard
drinking as a social skill, like table manners. If your Friday night
tradition is pizza and beer, offer a touch of the beer to your teens.
Take the mystique out of it. Use the opportunity to express your
trust and confidence in them.” 1

Dr. Edell notes that

“Critics of this approach insist that it’s better
to teach them to abstain. That would be fine, except it’s
not working. Why pretend it is? Take a shot at the experience
of other countries. ‘Kids should learn how to drink responsibly
under the guidance of someone who cares and won’t let anything
happen to them,’ says Dr. Patricia Roy, a family practioner....
She tells her teen patients that ‘the place to find out
that your limit is three beers is at home, in your parents’
presence. Not at your friend’s party, or worse, when you’re
behind the wheel of a car.’” 2

In some societies and groups, most people drink, they do so daily,
yet they have few drinking problems. Those groups familiar to most
Americans include Italians, Jews, Spaniards, Portuguese, and Greeks.
The success of such groups has three parts:

beliefs about the substance of alcohol,

the act of drinking, and

education about drinking.

These groups share three keys to success in minimizing the incidence
of alcohol problems:

the substance of alcohol is seen as essentially neutral. It
is neither a poison nor a magic substance that can transform people
into what they would like to be.

The act of drinking is seen as natural and normal. There are
two equally acceptable options: (1) abstain from alcohol or (2)
drink in moderation. However, there is absolutely no tolerance
for abusive drinking by anyone of any age at any time for any
reason.

Education about alcohol starts early in the home. Young people
are taught -- through their parents' good example and under their
supervision -- that if they drink, they must do so moderately
and responsibly. They would agree that it’s better to learn
to drink in the parent’s house than in a fraternity house.

This three-part approach has enabled these and many other groups
around the world to avoid the alcohol abuse problems that have plagued
our society with its unrealistic age-specific alcohol prohibition.
3

We actually have more influence on our children than anyone or
anything else, although we often erroneously feel powerless in the
face of television, movies, our children's peers and other parts
of society.

Our children learn from observing our behavior and we are the most
significant role models in their lives. Therefore, we need to:

Be good role models. We need to be examples
of good drinking behavior.

Reject "do as I say, not as I do."
If we abuse alcohol ourselves, we can't expect our children to
do otherwise when they begin to drink.

Convey appropriate attitudes. We should never
laugh at intoxication or intoxicated behaviors. We can use news
events, TV programs, movies, and other events as opportunities
to discuss what is acceptable and unacceptable drinking behavior.

Instead of trying to scare young people into permanent abstinence,
we need to recognize that it is not alcohol but rather the abuse
of alcohol that is the problem.