Broadway veteran Donna Lynne Champlin creates her own Solo CD on a budget of $1000 and a time limit of 6 weeks.

Friday, December 18, 2009

A BUSINESS CERTIFICATE ADVENTURE!

Heya my little toymaking elves!

SO.

Today was the day.

It was the day that I went down to The New York Supreme Court building and adopted my bouncing baby production company.

Something i really should have done before i ever released anything on my 'label' because until you go down to the court house and pay your $120 and make sure that no one else has a company called, oh i don't know...'Parting Glass Productions'...you're playing with legal fire basically.

Here's the drill.

You go to your local courthouse that gives out BUSINESS CERTIFICATES.

In my case, this was 60 Centre Street.

On pretty much THE coldest day of the year.

First thing you do is go to the records room (in my case room 117B in the basement) and see if anyone has ownership of the name you want for your company.

Of course, I get down to 117B and there's a note scrawled in insane asylum penmanship on a piece of cardboard that says, "CLOSED".

No REASON...for 'CLOSED'.

Just....

closed.

awesome.

and of course, you can't do this shit online cause that would be...

ya know...

20th century stuff.

Heaven forbid the court system get out of the horse and buggy age.

I look through the window to see if there's anyone in there that could tell me what to do now...

and I swear to God, it looked that that last shot in the original Indiana Jones movie? Where the ark is crated up and put inside this massive room that looks like where Overstock.com went to throw up?

Honestly, I might not have gotten out alive, had it not been 'CLOSED'.

So.

I can't really check in room 117B so i go to the next step which is:

Once you have determined (in the 'CLOSED' 117B room of hieroglyphics and curses) whether or not the name you want is even available...

you go to room 109B, conveniently located a few doors down.

I go to the desk-

big line.

Now...

i KNOW that....

actually the NEXT step after the Temple of Doom room is-

if your name is available to go BACK up to the lobby 'candy stand'-

i'm not kidding...

the 'candy stand'...

and go buy the official form for which you will apply for the name of your business.

I look at the big line in 109B-

knowing full well....

that it's a waste of time really since they'll be wanting me to have the right form by the time i get to the desk and figure 'fuck it, i'll go get the form now, and pretend that my PGP is available'.

As I'm heading out of 109B-

i run into a really nice police officer.

i explain to him about 117B and he directs me BACK to the desk in 109B but to the other side.

A really tired and fed up woman steps up to 'help' me.

bless.

I explain the situation and she has me write down the name of my company-

and just goes to the COMPUTER (so you CAN check online but...only if you work there?)-

looks up and says, "It's taken".

Aaaaaaaaaannnnndddd then i shit my pants.

I then ask the question all public servants LOVE to hear,

"Are you SURE?"

*intense glare from said fed-up woman

"Oh fucking hell. Well...shit. Ok."

I'm now roladexing all the things I've sent out with PARTING GLASS PRODUCTIONS emblazoned on it.....

all things now...

that i could be sued for.

YES!

SWEET!

I stand there...

slightly paralized...

and try desperately to think up another name that's similar enough but won't get me arrested by whomever owns the 'real' PARTING GLASS PRODUCTIONS (which at this point I'm pretty sure is a bunch of wankers who have a crappy irish band that they formed sophomore year in college and probably don't even use anymore. Fuckers.)

I ask her if there are any 'tricks' to this-

can i put at the end 'LTD' or "Associated" or SOMETHING that will let me keep PARTING GLASS PRODUCTIONS.

A flat "no".

fuck.

fuck.

fuck.

fuck.

As i stand there...

a really cute guy comes up and asks if i'm having trouble thinking of a new name...

i explain the situation and how I've slightly screwed myself by doing this all ass-backwards and he says,