ta-da!

vroom, vroom, honk

I certainly don’t question the need for his close supervision, but is the Secret Service really necessary? Bed restraints would be a cheaper alternative. A full guard detail is expensive, costing tens of millions of dollars, and it’s coming out of our pockets We’re also paying to protect his unsavory, parasitic children and estranged wife around the clock. C’mon, enough’s enough.

The Russians should be footing the bill for his care and feeding. They put him in the White House in the first place, he’s doing their bidding, so he’s their responsibility. Not ours. Cough up the rubles, Vladi. Your boy’s doing the damage you hoped for and we’re hanging on for dear life. Now, pay up, comrade.