<B>Opening Words</B>:
This week I will start off with a simple proclamation that I seem to have become the anti-review here. Everything that I seem to dislike, is regarded as the best sketch of the night. It could be me and my inner-circle, but things like Justin Timberlake dressing as an omelette was not amusing in my opinion. <I> oh, it shows he’s a good sport. </I> Don’t you have to be a good sport in general to appear on the show? But its just people’s opinions. I like reading the others. I don’t see where they come from half the time, but I like reading it.

Also, it seems that I am not alone in saying that Will Forte is the diamond in the rough for this season’s cast. In about 3/4 of the reviews say that, ever since the box sketch last year, they have become huge fans. I guess they [SNL] want to push Forte as a featured player by not using him on any sketches. If this keeps up, I’ll have to start a Free Forte campaign.

And many thanks to ptthhtt, for explaining Seth Myers’ attire during last week’s closing credits.

<B> Beforehand </B>

Every once in a while, SNL gets an upper echelon actor/actress to do the show…someone who you don’t expect to actually be on the show, perhaps <I> too big </I> to do the show. I expect this show, like a lot of others, to be one of the better ones of the season (unless they get Christopher Walken again). One good thing is no more Justin Timberlake singing, and one can only hope they 86 Ah-nuld.
And how crappy has my late local news become? They showed the Yankees Superheros clip, the part about Rocco Baldelli. Yeah. a “reputable” news source showing Robert Smeigel Cartoons. Oh we’re good.
Ok, enough of that. Let’s get to my anti-review.

<B> Cold Opening </B> Kobe Bryant

First Kenan gets a spot on the cold opening, now Finesse.
Mya puts together the weakest fake glass shot I’ve seen since ________ (insert joke here). It wasn’t that funny, but I guess that sketches with rape undertones can’t be hardy-har-har.

Halle looks good…even though it looks like she hasn’t eating in…hmmm…awhile.
Now why is there Abraham Lincoln, a llama, and two Jeanies in the background? The timing was off on this one as there was a couple second pause after “big surprise” before cutting to Brittany. I did like how Jimmy pushed Tina out of the camera. It wasn’t that bad.

Oh my God, Will Forte in the first hour of the show. That was a pleasant surprise..however, that doesn’t save this awful sketch. Yes, he has a big head, yes he’s gonna charge. Toss to the ground. Apologize. Repeat, to lesser results. I know. Let’s do it again for a third time. That’ll be just as good, if not better than the first two times. Two soundclips and one fall does not a good sketch make.

The crowd laughed at every single Donatella sentence, cheered every single GET OUT. I, personally, think that her pinnacle was the Hot Pockets last year and the bit gets old fast. Elton John in a Spongebob costume was pretty funny. There were some decent lines like “I got some candy cigarettes for you. Here’s the candy, Here’s the cigarettes.” On the second viewing, I realize that, although it was annoying, there were some lines.

Actors: Mya, Halle, Hortaio
Best Line: Mya: Well people, since you can’t top a bat flying out of my cooch, the party’s over.
Length: 5.30
Rating: 5/10 For a well placed line here and there.

<B> Commercial: Tel-e-link </B>

It captures the IT commercials very well. It wasn’t funny…and wasn’t intended to be.

Oh..they end on a pun…It didn’t do really anything for me. Also, what’s the point of having back to back commercials? The music was great, and when will fell asleep, good. But ending on a pun, the lowest form of humour. No thanks.

Actors: Halle, Amy, Will, Seth
Best Line: Will: Here it goes, whee, all done, zzzz, back to the grindstone.
Length: 1.35
Rating: a generous 5/10, but the pun took off a good 2 points.

Two weeks- Kelly Ripa & OutKast. Hmmm..They better do a regis parody. If not, why bother having her on? Oooh, her show got picked out for 6 more episodes. So?

<B> Sukihura Steak House </B>
Wait a minute, isn’t this Finesse’s little moviehouse speech from the Jack Black show? Hmmm…megets the feeling that they spent the week going to Yankee stadium instead of writing some sketches. . His monologue wasn’t overly funny then and it wasn’t overly funny now. It’s good to see that Mya can reuse here Destiny’s Child outfit…whatever they were called.

Another Commercial? Oh, this does not bode well for the overall score. Four commercials in the first 35 minutes of the show? Can they waste her talent any more? Didn’t se win a, as she called it, “a little gold guy (or something)?” Why not have her do some jingles while we’re at it. Nice little spoof of the Sunday NY Times.

Actor: Amy, Parnell, Halle
Best Line: none
Length: 1.15
Rating: 7/10

Performance: Birttany
I make it a purpose to not comment on musical performances, but I would put good money that she’s not actually singing. Yeah I’m right. Or maybe she’s the world’s greatest ventriloquist?

<B> Weekend Update </B>

I will ignore the gross stereotyping of the Native American comedian, and just say that it killed the initial flow that WU had going at the time. Horatio comes back and one can only dream back to the day of “da bears,” back when the show was actually good. Horatio and Jimmy try not to laugh through it. Speak of the devil, it’s George Wendt. That makes up tenfold for the Native American comic. It’s strange, I loved last weeks because there were no interruptions, and I loved this week’s because there was no ‘news.’ Strange world isn’t it. Pencil toss to the left.

Actors: Tina, Jimmy, Armison, Horatio, George Wendt
Best Line: Jimmy: In California, grocery clerks went on strike. This is the second time in two weeks Gray Davis is out of a job.
Length: 11.15
Rating: 10/10. The Nostalga factor of George Wendt alone gives it a 10. Oh how I long for Myers, Hartman, Sandler, Farley, Spade…quality shows.

<B> Commerical: Best of Klymaxx </B>

It has been an hour and there have been two non-commercial related sketches. Even if it 4 minutes long, it’s sill an infomercial. It started off kinda funny, then got drab and long. Drabber and longer.

Next Week: Best of Tracy Morgan… [in same voice] I’m Tracy Morgan. I’m Star Jones. I’m Brian Fellows. . That guy had no depth to his acting, but I liked him nonetheless.

<B> Brittany performs again </B>

She might be singing this one…its not like I’m actually listening to it. She’s much better on Mute. What the hell is the guitarist in the background nodding his head to?

<B> Hilton Hotel Ashford/Simpson </B>

Do we have a follow-up to Will and Ana? Set looks the same, that’s for sure. Kenan can sing, I did not know that. Finesse is one part Tracy Morgan, one part David Allen Grier. Sad thing is this might be the best thing I’ve seen thus far..which isn’t saying much. The cameo reference was nice (Word Up). But I guess you kinda have to know their music

Actors: Finesse, Halle, Mya, Kenan
Best Line: Mya: Last time we was here was late September, 2003.
Length: 3.20
Rating: 6/10

<B> Have you ever Been with a Speed Reader?</B>

Just when I thought the show couldn’t be salvaged, they break out Will and let him work his subtle magic. Ended abruptly..i assume due to time. They probably had an ending, but went too long. Poor Will.

<B> Overall</B>
Disappointing does not begin to describe how this show was. It was like they phoned this week’s episode in so they could watch the Yankees. You think someone would have the right of mind to say “ok, we have a talented actress here, let’s do something good.” How else can you explain Armison and Forte getting more than a two second non-speaking roles and Finesse being in most of the show. All they have to do is admit it and I think the whole world will be forgiving. I know I’m the anti-review and give the reciprocal of what the average generous review gives it, but I can honestly say that I really don’t see anyone giving this episode a good score at all. They might have liked some of it, but overall, it was half-assed.

Final Words: I guess my pre-emptive Free Will campaign was headed off at the pass. I’m content…until I realize that’s probably all the sketches he’ll be in for the year. But its still sad when Tina Fey is in as many sketches as you are. Anyhow…not that good of an episode.

Thank you for reading this. Please keep sending me e-mail. I like reading the complaints, praise (riiight), or suggestions. I really appreciate it.

10-19-2003, 01:09 PM

CashMoneySoviet

Holy crap I keep missing it. Damn it. Damn you World Series!

10-20-2003, 11:07 AM

Daddio

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSi

Episode III: Halle Berry/ Brittany Spears

Performance: Birttany
I make it a purpose to not comment on musical performances, but I would put good money that she’s not actually singing. Yeah I’m right. Or maybe she’s the world’s greatest ventriloquist?

<B> Brittany performs again </B>

She might be singing this one…its not like I’m actually listening to it. She’s much better on Mute. What the hell is the guitarist in the background nodding his head to?

Ole Brit was definately NOT singing during song #1. There was even about a 15 second segment during the song where she didnt even attempt to lip sync. I think maybe she hadnt rehearsed the dance routine enough and had to concentrate on her gyrations and - being blonde - coundnt do two things at once. She drives me nuts every time she is on TV and lip syncing. Why bother? Why not just run a copy of the video and be done with it. Then of course when the song is over, they turn on her micro-phone long enough for us to hear her breathing heavily as she says "Thank you"

Brit did sing the second song live. Pretty much the only songs she DOES sing live are the ballads. One dead give away on Brit singing live vs. lip syncing is wether she is using a head-set mic (lip syncing) and a hand-held mic (singing live).

Brit inst the only one tho...just about every entertainer/s that have these long elaborate dance routines (to cover for the fact that the song sucks) are lip syncing. There is just no way that they can dance and jump around that much and still have the song sound EXACTLY like it does on the CD. Crystal clear, no mistakes, no changes and most of all no heavy breathing. But as soon as the song is over, suddenly the sound quality isnt so great as their mics are actually turned on and they gasp for air while saying "Thank you".

----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Chicago music critic once wrote about a Brit concert - "It was the only concert I have ever attended - and I have attended thousands - where the singer was not at the sound check. All they needed to do was make sure that the canned tracks of her singing sounded ok. No need for Ms. Spears to show-up for that as she doesnt actually sing in concert."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Did anyone else but me notice that Brit seems to have packed on a few pounds during her hiatus? Her legs looked a little chunky and she appeared to have some slight love handles.

On a separate note - Halle Barry was EXCEPTIONAL. She was stunningly gorgeous, acted marvellously in the skits and she was one of the VERY FEW guest stars that actually appears to have read the script and rehearsed. So many of the guest stars spend the whole show looking off-stage reading the cue -card. Love you Halle!

10-20-2003, 12:15 PM

mrdobolina

I'll agree with you on this weeks show, Psi.....SUCKED! Very few laughs, too many commercials, Horatio sucked as a Chicago Superfan, Brittany is just a ventriloquist dummy, and the Brokaw skit was just UNFUNNY

10-20-2003, 01:05 PM

Daddio

Did anyone happen to notice that next week's show is a re-run/compilation show called "The Best of Tracy Morgan"?

I don't know which is sadder - the fact that NBC (with 150 writers for this show) feels the need to show a re-run after only several weeks into the new season - or the fact that NBC feels that they have 90 minutes worth of entertaining skits featuring Tracy Morgan.

10-20-2003, 04:37 PM

karna68

I only catch reruns on Comedy Central or E! but can I just say I love Maya Rudolph! She is hilarious! I love her as Donatella Versace and the skit where she was the postal worker was the best. Some of my other favorite stars/characters are

This year might be the last, I’m ashamed to say, halfway decent year of the show. To many, the show has continued to spiral downwards year after year as top talent leaves and is replaced by lesser talent. This year is the last year of Jimmy Fallon’s contract, and I expect him to be gone. Darryl Hammond has been there for seemingly ever and I think he’ll be gone to. It doesn’t look like anyone’s going to step up and assume the role as top actor, but the season’s young, right?

<B> Beforehand </B>

I’m not a big Kelly Ripa fan, so I shouldn’t expect much, but then again, I haven’t really expected much this season. I know they mailed in the Halle Berry episode and I know they aired a repeat so they could watch the World Series, so hopefully, with that weeks worth of rest, they could come with good material…and maybe use Will Forte on more than one sketch, usually the last.

<B> Cold Opening </B> Bush

Chris Parnell gives up the George Bush shtick to Hammond. Well, thank God it isn’t Arnold again. It isn’t so much of an impersonation as it is Darryl talking very slow. He doesn’t even look like Bush. Ok, it’s a social commentary, that’s simple, but the whole point of having Bush on is to show how much of an idiot he is.

He really sounds nothing like Bush. So very sad. I think they should just all give up on trying to do him. They had the whole summer to recruit new people, and all they get is Kenan and Finesse? This bit wasn’t even funny, and how did it get 6 and a half minutes air time? Tell me? Is the rest of the show that bad?

Actors: Hammond
Best Line: By every summer, every home in Iraq will have central air and high speed broadband internet access.
Length: 6.40
Rating: 2/10

<B> Monologue </B>

Kelly’s main job is talking and rambling on. So this monologue should be a breeze for her. It’s really sad when the writers are better than Kelly is. Whoever that black guy is (I think his name is JB) should’ve been hired as a cast member. He was absolutely hilarious. He saved the entire monologue

Is that Kelly? Why does she look different? Great spoof of the Pantene Pro V commercial. I hate that commercial. Again with the crack references, there’s one every episode.

Actors:
Best Line: People ask me how do you it all…and I say ‘Who the fxck are you? Get away from my limo
Length: 1.10
Rating: 10

<B> Regis and Kelly </B>

Comes as expected. Wow, a cameo from Kattan as the prducer. As you can tell, his career has really taken off. Ripa a Angelina Jolie. Not to be picky, but Ang’s lips should be bigger. Much much bigger. Could’ve been better if they did any other actress Maybe I expected too much. Wasn’t anything special…

Next Week Andy Roddick and Dave Matthews
Andy Roddick? Last time I checked, Tennis players aren’t the best actors. I expect as much as I did when Jeff Gordon hosted last year.

<B> Access Hollywood </B>

I forgot about this bit. Fallon does a good impersonation. Ripa tries Zellwiger. Not a fan of hers at all. Horatio, like so many times before, saves the sketch. Is it me, or is it almost impossible for Jimmy and Horatio to get through a scene without laughing at some point? Ok, it was rather disgusting when Horatio ate two twinkees, but it seems like its something he’s done many times before? Sketch went on too long. Should’ve ended at the “Alfredo sauce?” line. Hey, a minute is a minute. And with Jimmy’s horribly botched ending, yeah. Should’ve ended it.

Performance by Outkast…ok, just Andre3000. I guess Big Boi will be on later
I think they’re hoping that we all forget the Scooby Doo rap. It’s good to see that Andre3000 is going for the Christina Aguilera from Moulin Rouge look.

<B> Weekend Update </B>

The last two have been good. Can they keep it going? What’s sad? Tina has a better Arnold voice than Hammond. The more crack line was very reminiscent of Norm MacDonald. The Puffy skit was hilarious. Drunk girl…I knew she’d be out eventually. I, for one, am not a fan of it. It gets old fast…like 30 seconds into it. Not a fan of fan of Jimmy’s Roddy’s in hell joke. That boo was well deserved, IMO. Horatio comes on as buffet and kills the energy in a split second. Jimmy/ Buffet goes too long and is reduced to them just laughing at each other. Yet again, they can’t get through without stopping for a split second so they don’t laugh. It was an above average, but not spectacular. If they had cut the last two minutes off it, would’ve gotten a higher rating. Ooh, Jimmy and Horatio just laughing at each other. That makes for good TV, right? That was 3 minutes by itself. Ugh.

A will sketch...but it seems to have gone A soap opera set around cows farting after every punch line. How…sophomoric. One of my acting lessons I took was how to make a drama scene comedy without obvious humor. I wrote a bit about a guy coping with the loss of his brother at a Halloween fair when the county’s largest pumpkin crushed him to death, and how he fears pumpkins in general…They choose farts. *shakes head* I can’t even give them points for attempting. Who came up with the idea “hey, lets revolve all our jokes around cow farts.

I know there’s a pet psychic show on Animal Planet or something…but for all intent and purposes, this is just an unfunny rip-off of Pet Show with Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon. Did I laugh once, no..ok, I snickered at “welcome back, potter.” That was almost painful to get through. Ok, it was. Especially at 12.35 and you’re beginning to feel a tad bit tired, then you get this, and endless boring commercials. It’s hard, sometimes.

Performance by Outkast…just Big Boi ft. Sleepy Brown
Big Boi has lost a lot of weight. Perhaps he should change his name to average-sized Boi. And no I haven’t forgotten the Scooby Doo rap.

How many damn fear factor commercials do we need to see tonight? I watched that show once and thought it was a plain stupid game show. They should just call it, let’s eat animal body parts. Stupid.

<B> BBC America. Spy Glass </B>

Half weekend update, half A Current Affair…for British television. I wonder how many people actually watch BBC America? So why spoof anything related to that channel? How many puns can they put into one skit. If you’ve read any of my past reviews, I hate puns…especially bad ones..and this is chock full of them. Jimmy comes back with yet another Pat O’Brien. That was a…strange surprise. But you know what, this was better than anything 3/4 of the sketches they’ve done thus far. Not a good sign. . . but in all good consciousness, I can not reward puns…but it wasn’t worse than the cow farts or the pet psychic..so I guess I’ll give a couple points for that

What was so funny about this? Oh, they hate the puppy. It defeats the purpose when at every other close up, the crowd Awwws. Face it, people love cute puppies. It’s hard to make fun of a puppy and be serious about it.

Actors: Parnell
Best Line: To be honest, Pumpkin is pretty much a douche bag.
Length: 3.05
Rating: 2/10

Wow, the ending didn’t get cut off in the beginning, but it still didn’t make it all the way though. Just got to get in that last Friends commercial. Geesh.

<B> Overall </B>

I just wasn’t that much of a fan. Sure I don’t like Kelly Ripa in general, but I don’t hold that against her. It’s not like she plays herself in every sketch. I just thought that it, overall, wasn’t funny. Everything past weekend update wasn’t that good at all. I don’t know what they were going for this week, but they missed their mark big time. You know what, I don’t recall seeing the band play before the commercial breaks at all. Did they phone it in to? Sad outing altogether. After weekend update, crapped out altogether. 11 out of 40 compared to 30/50 (not including WU). It affects the score.

<B> OVERALL RATING: 48/100 (4.8)</B>
Felt like: 3.5/10

Best Performer: JB, but since he isn’t a cast member, I begrudgingly give it Jimmy Fallon. It would be Horatio, but he spent too much time laughing.
Worst Performer: Kenan. I guess he did the wise thing by not bothering to show up.
Line of the Night: Horatio: I can’t wash myself without a broom handle and a sponge

am I the only one who thinks the only person left on SNL that is laugh out loud funny is Horatio?

every time he's in a skit I'm lmao... the others are snicker funny from time to time.. but not like Horatio

11-02-2003, 03:20 PM

Duxxy

The show started to suck after Eddie Murphy left, and it has continued it's downward spiral. The only time I watch is during commerical breaks on Trading Spaces, unfortunatly this is when I caught Justin Timberlake's "Omlettville". This show is no longer funny, it's annoying. MAD tv is better.