The Anti-Leftist ‘Grogger’

For months now, every Friday in Zion has seen screaming and violent leftist rioters attacking Israeli soldiers, engaging in hooliganism, and breaking the law. The thugs are a mixture of foreign pro-terror “anarchists” Israel foolishly lets into the country, joined by some members of Israel’s own “Leftists for the Extermination of Israel.”

Week after week they demonstrate in the West Bank towns of Bil’in and Nil’in to show their support for terrorists who mass murder Israeli Jews. They oppose Israel’s security fence because it makes it harder for suicide bombers to reach Israeli children.

These past few weeks they have shifted their noisy activities to the Simon the Righteous neighborhood in Jerusalem. The demonstrators demand that no Jews be allowed to move into the homes they legally own in the area because it “belongs” to Arabs. These anti-Israel leftists closely resemble Ku Klux Klan marchers who tried to prevent black folks from moving into neighborhoods where they “did not belong.”

Personally, I would prefer loading the nasty and noisy hooligans onto a one-way bus for Gaza, or perhaps a one-way plane for Somalia. Israel, however, insists on dealing with these thugs as “protesters.”

But now Israeli science and the ingenuity have come up with something that can be used to disburse these noisy cheerleaders for terror.

Israel plans to fight their noise with noise.

That is correct. Israel is about to take a lesson from Jewish history and adapt that weapon of mass disturbance we all use every year against Haman. Just in time for Purim, Israel is going to employ an anti-leftist Purim grogger. And it really works.

Popular Science magazine recently reported that Israel has developed a new “weapon” against terrorist cheerleaders and against pro-terror “Solidarity” rioters – a “sonic cannon” which makes loud noises that sound like the sonic booms of jet airplanes.

Developed by PDT Agro, a small company in Israel that had previously been building “sound cannons” to scare away pests from Israeli farms, the new invention will be used to scare away leftist pests trying to assist Palestinian jihadists.

The report in Popular Science is a delicious take-off on the science fiction classic Dune, in which the desert fighters (called “fedayeen,” of all things) battle the barbarians using sound weapons:

“A desert people have developed a new weapon that uses sound instead of bullets. But this time, it will be used to control crowds instead of fighting giant worms or devious members of House Harkonnen. The Israeli Defense Ministry has contracted for the production of sonic-boom stun-guns called ‘Thunder Generator cannons,’ which they hope to use in crowd-control situations.”

The new contraption, Popular Science explained, “runs on LPG, a common cooking gas, which mixes with oxygen to generate powerful bursts of sound. Each sound burst lasts around 300 milliseconds, and generates a shockwave that travels from the cannon at almost six times the speed of sound.”

Do you realize what this means? If Israel has invented thiscure for leftist hooliganism, just imagine what could lie ahead. Perhaps an anti-leftism pill, which, when swallowed, raises one’s IQ by 50 points. How about a special rubber bullet that electronically hones in on marijuana? How about a special TASER that can only be discharged against the unbathed?

Be that as it may, this new invention represents a giant scientific step forward for Israel.

As you may recall, Israel had been using Pepe Le Pew to help control the violent hooligans and anarcho-fascist thugs who pogrom weekly in the West Bank against Israel’s security fence.

A while back it was reported that Israel had decided to keep the protesters in line by using “skunk bombs.” These “bombs” (actually a canister spray) apparently are so smelly that even an anarchist who has not washed in a month is capable of being offended and repulsed by the odor.

The Jerusalem Post reported: “The skunk bomb is a foul-smelling liquid which is sprayed on the rioters. The smell is so strong that people flee immediately.” At least one website referred to it as Zionist Death Dung.

I wonder whether the new sound cannon can be combined with authentic Jewish soul music guaranteed to drive secular leftists mad.

We all recall the movie “Apocalypse Now,” in which the choppers came in firing while playing Wagner music. So why not wheel in the new Israeli anti-leftist sound cannons while loudspeakers loudly play Shlomo Carlebach or Avraham Fried songs in the background?

And then we can all just sit back and watch the leftist varmints scurry.

Steven Plaut is a professor at Haifa University. His book “The Scout” is available at Amazon.com. He can be contacted at steveneplaut@yahoo.com.