'You think you're all alone': Milwaukee moms who have lost children to violence find support at Mother's Day brunch

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Dameion Perkins (left) and Nate Hamilton (center), the brothers of Dontre Hamilton, who was killed after an altercation with a Milwaukee police officer, perform a song at the Mothers Day brunch about how they felt after their brother's death. Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Brenda Hines, who worked as a chaplain for the Salvation Army and the 7th District police station helping victims of crimes and fires, speaks about the loss of her son Donovan Hines, 23, who was shot while driving in November 2017. Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Shannon Allen of Milwaukee wipes tears at the brunch as she listens to Maria Hamilton describe the loss of her son Dontre Hamilton. Allen lost her son DeAndre Allen, 27, in a homicide in 2016. Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Christy Parks (left) of Milwaukee lost her son Marcus Parks, 21, in 2003 when he was shot while waiting for a bus in an apparent robbery. Here, she takes a photo with Maria Hamilton (center), mother of Dontre Hamilton, who was killed by a Milwaukee police officer during an altercation. At right is Dorchristalon Willis of Milwaukee, who is Parks' daughter-in-law. Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

The Spread Love Initiative Inc. presented the fourth annual Mothers Day brunch honoring mothers who lost children to violence, disease or unforeseen circumstances at Mr. Js Lounge in Milwaukee. The mothers and their family members go through the brunch line. Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Lee Hosea of Milwaukee (left) lost her nephew Christopher Crouthers, 19, in a chase with police. Her brother-in-law William Jeffries of Milwaukee is at right. Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

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Brenda Hines, who worked as a chaplain for the Salvation Army and the 7th District police station helping victims of crimes and fires, speaks about the loss of her son, Donovan Hines, 23, who was shot while driving in November 2017. The Spread Love Initiative Inc. presented the fourth annual Mothers Day Brunch honoring mothers who lost children to violence, disease or unforeseen circumstances at Mr. Js Lounge in Milwaukee.(Photo: Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Brenda Hines walked into a Mother's Day brunch not sure what to expect.

She found family.

Hines was one of dozens of Milwaukee mothers who have lost children to violence who attended a special brunch Sunday.

Her 23-year-old son, Donovan Hines, was shot and killed six months ago. A Salvation Army chaplain, Hines suddenly found herself in the same position as the families she had helped comfort after tragedy.

When she walked into Mr. J's Lounge, she gravitated toward a family who hadn't known about the brunch until they won tickets at a recent event for Milwaukee Public Schools alumni.

"We sat here and just starting talking like we knew her forever," said Frances Algee, who works as a community service officer with the Milwaukee Police Department.

Algee and her sister, Kim Cowan, were joined by their daughters and their mother.

Although Cowan and her sister had not personally experienced a loss like Hines, Cowan has experience supporting others in grief. She said her best friend suffered the death of two sons within 11 months.

"I know what it's like to watch a mom grieve, to watch a mom question God, to watch physically what she was going through," Cowan said.

Hines said their meeting was planned from above.

"I needed a beautiful family to be with me today, to support me, and this is the family that God chose," she said.

Dameion Perkins (left) and Nate Hamilton (center), the brothers of Dontre Hamilton, who was killed after an altercation with a Milwaukee police officer, perform a song at the brunch about how they felt after their brother's death.(Photo: Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Now in its fourth year, the Mother's Day brunch was created by Terrell Johnnies, who founded the nonprofit The Spread Love Initiative. He began the brunch in honor of his aunt, Jeanette Thompson, after her son was shot and killed in a home invasion.

This year's event featured a buffet, rose-decorated tables and a DJ. Congresswoman Gwen Moore attended and Maria Hamilton, whose son Dontre Hamilton was shot and killed by a Milwaukee police officer, was the featured speaker.

Among those who heard her speak were Jay Anderson Sr. and Linda Anderson, whose 25-year-old son, Jay Anderson Jr., was fatally shot by a Wauwatosa police officer.

“It’s sad we all have something in common," Linda Anderson said.

Still, the couple said they would come to future brunches to show support for other families and keep speaking their son's name.

Shannon Allen, whose son DeAndre Allen, 27, was killed in 2016, came to the brunch for the first time. She joined Hines' table. The two met in a support group and have formed a close bond.

"This is something that we will never get over, but with the support of each other we can get through it," Allen said. "I have my good and my bad days. Today is one of my better days."

Shannon Allen of Milwaukee wipes tears at the Mother's Day brunch as she listens to Maria Hamilton describe the loss of her son Dontre Hamilton. Allen lost her son DeAndre Allen, 27, in a homicide in 2016.(Photo: Michael Sears / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

"I was always taught my children were supposed to bury me," she added. "To lose a child it's a totally different pain. It's indescribable."

The only people who can relate are other mothers who have gone through it, said Debora Retic-Kneebone.

Her son, Tavion Milams, 24, was killed in 2014, leaving behind a young son, Tavion Kamari, and a fiancée, Sharale Olden. Milams was a popular rapper who performed as "Tay Gutta."

Retic-Kneebone has three daughters; Milams was her only son.

"It was me and him against the world," she sad.

She called Johnnies a "godsend" for starting the brunch and bringing the mothers together.

"Where else could we fellowship, mothers that have lost children?" she said. "You think you're all alone but there's so many mothers in Milwaukee that have lost children to violence."

Morgan Hughes of the Journal Sentinel staff contributed to this article.