Chrisnali

34 years old

Female

Location

Tulsa

United States

Current Status

I'm not angry, but I hold a lot of animosity in my heart for Chris's family. His father had 4 kids. Chris is the oldest. Jordan was murdered at the age of 18 almost 3 years ago, Michael was adopted out, and Emily is 16 and lives with her mom. Only seeing

That is a really scary thought, and a tragedy for that man's family.
My fiance is in for a violent crime too, and I know we'll face that judgement from every angle when he gets out. It's always going to be on his record, and on the first page of ...

Today, my heart aches for the city I call home and for our country. I feel a terror in my heart that I've never faced before. Friday evening, a Tulsa city police officer shot and killed an unarmed man who had done nothing wrong (according to the ...

1 year ago

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Chrisnali I'm not angry, but I hold a lot of animosity in my heart for Chris's family. His father had 4 kids. Chris is the oldest. Jordan was murdered at the age of 18 almost 3 years ago, Michael was adopted out, and Emily is 16 and lives with her mom. Only seeing her dad once or twice a year. Their dad has never had much to do with any of them and absolutely nothing to do witj Chris, ever. He never even paid child support. But now, he is married and is a "good christian" man. He is raising his wife's grand daughters. He adopted them when their dad went to prison in Texas. They drove, once a month, 5hours to visit him in prison. They helped him out financially, and now they are raising his children as if they were their own. Chris hasn't seen his father in 6 years. He hasn't heard from him in 2 years. Not since we got togetger. Yet every year, they have a family reunion complete with t shirts and posters and everything that say, "Family before everything," or "family first always." I suppose Chris isn't family since he has never been included in any of their family stuff. I just wonder what his wife's whole family would think if they knew he had a son that nobody knows about and he never talks to. I guess his wife's son going to prison was a big deal to them but Chris going to prison was a relief because they don't have to hear from him anymore. Ugh... People are so hateful.

1 year ago

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Misty It's ok to be angry, sometimes you have to be in order to get past it. It's awful how many men get forgotten by their families. Try to focus on what you and him have, you really are very blessed :) 1 year ago

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xtina for me its about the family I create. I stopped dwelling on my father a long time ago and I'm much happier since letting that shit go. 1 year ago

Chrisnali I'm not entirely sure what the word is for what God is trying to teach me. I used to be very snappish. If someone said or did something to hurt me or my family, I never hesitated to "go off" on them. But now, with my husband in prison and knowing that all it would take is a phone call from a spiteful person to wreak havoc in our lives, I am learning to hold my tongue. My husband doesn't do anything wrong or against policy. He doesn't do drugs or use contraband of any kind. We always behave properly at visits and we are both always respectful to the guards. But those of us who live this life know that all it takes is one person with a spiteful heart and a moutful of lies to cause trouble for our incarcerated loved one. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to hold my tongue to someone and they will call and cause unwarranted problems for him. Let me just say that this is a hard pill for me to swallow and I am learning to step back and look at things from every angle before I lose my cool.

1 year ago

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sweetestlatina Yep I can identify with you being with my husband has taught me to hold my tongue n think more about the what could happen for HIM that's the lesson I've learned and ur right all it takes is one. 1 year ago

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Chrisnali When yu wake up a few hours after fallong asleep in the midst of what is either the worst anxiety attack of your life or the worst stomach cramps of your life and can't go back to sleep.... I seriously laid in my bed until 630 this morning trying to decide if I was having a heart attack or stomach cramps, then got up and came to work. Because well, even though something still isn't quite right, I can probably afford to go to the emergency room next Monday after visit as long as they don't admit me. Can't afford to miss work. :(

1 year ago

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Chrisnali In two months we will begin our single digit countdown. Not single digit months or days, but we wi be down to single digit years. Unless a miracle happens and he gets early release. I pray every single day for a miracle.

She is me, as well. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face from reading this.

1 year ago

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Chrisnali I'm struggling tonight y'all. My heart is hurting and I am a little angry. I keep telling myself that it's just my cycle and not to let it get to me, but it is. A friend of ours found an ad in our local Craigslist personals in the "missed connections" section that his ex wife posted. This woman has done nothing but cause complete chaos and hell in his life since he met her. Now, I am the one cleaning up the financial mess that she made by taking out loans in his name after he was already locked up and not paying them back, and she's posting effing ads about how much she misses falling asleep with his arms around her and howhohe wishes she had been strong enough for him. I want to punch her in the throat. I want to gouge her eyeballs out and stuff them up her nose. I freaking hate that she ever got to experience anything at all with him and I am stuck cleaning up her mess and trying to build a life for him to come home to. I don't hate anyone, but I could probably find it in my heart to hate her.

Misty I hate finding stuff like that. But try to remember that you won, you're the one who has his heart and you're the one who gets to live happily ever after once this is all through, and she'll be stuck with her regrets. 1 year ago

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sweetestlatina Ouch thats a hard one I can't stand my Hubby's ex for a lot of reasons but I think I'd have to beat her down if she did that. I say get mad vent let it out cause karma will get her for that and you can sit back n know she got hers. 1 year ago

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Kitty Sorry you are going through that. Ignore her and focus on your relationship with your hubby. Don't let her steal your joy 1 year ago

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kkadam Praying for you, those ex's can be something else can't they 1 year ago

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Ro ❤ CoFounder/President I agree with the ladies above and I would also contact Craigslist to have those ads removed. 1 year ago

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Misty I hate finding stuff like that. But try to remember that you won, you're the one who has his heart and you're the one who gets to live happily ever after once this is all through, and she'll be stuck with her regrets. 1 year ago

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Chrisnali It's only Wednesday. I don't get phone calls at lunch time Wednesday-Friday because he has to hurry and eat and get back to class, so I am one of the few people that actually likes Monday. It seems that missing our loved ones is the theme of the day. Maybe it's the weather changing, maybe it's the holodays coming closer, who knows? I just know that I feel very melancholy today. Like my heart wants me to be anywhere other than at work. Like, sitting on the front porch drinking apple cider and reading a book. There's a word for this feeling. I don't remember what it is just this second, though.

1 year ago

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TogetherWeP.U.S.H I agree it seems to be the theme today I woke up the same way. Hope your work day goes by fast for you. 1 year ago

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ShennaNChris I have been feeling the same way for 3 days and I haven't heard from him today which is odd and getting worried 1 year ago

Because I can't imagine someone who could beat a man to death, beat him until he stops breathing and his heart is no longer beating, hitting, and kicking the life out of a living, breathing, speaking, human being over a few dollars having any love ...

I can relate to your pain and the array of emotions you're experiencing. Year after year seeing someone with their family in a visiting room, you form a sort of bond, though you might not necessarily know them. When someone at my husbands ...