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Four years ago, when Cordato’s Deli Bar was crowned New York’s best dive, it was a glorified storage closet hidden in the back of a financial district deli where girls gave cut-rate lap dances. Only in New York, kids! Outraged neighbors snuffed the illegal dancing out some time ago, but the grime remained for anyone who wanted to disappear into a godforsaken corner and kill the bathroom stench with aguardiente shots. But sometime in the past months, the owners ditched the ancient-looking wooden bar for a faux-marble aqua affair with a tiled martini-glass motif, made the front door more conspicuous, and installed flat-screen TVs, mood lighting, and barmaids straight out of a Washington Heights bikini bar. In short, one of the city’s true slumming spots is now a billing itself as a “sports bar.” It’s not the only clean-up job afoot.

According to the Real Deal, Scandals (which was pushed out of its original Long Island City location during the Giuliani era) is suing the city in order to stop the Department of Buildings from changing the certificate of occupancy at its current Queensboro location to prohibit topless dancing. Sure, it’s sad that another strip club D.J. is going to be out of work in this economy, but relax, guys — just replace the dancers with flat-screens and buffalo wings and you’ll be okay.