Random Stories Jokes

Evidence

The prisoner, a darky, explained how it came about that he had been
arrested for chicken-stealing:

"I didn't hab no trouble wiv de constable ner nobody. It would ab been
all right if it hadn't been fer the women's love o' dress. My women
folks, dey wasn't satisfied jes' to eat mos' all o' them chickens. Dey
had to put de feathers in der hats, an' parade 'em as circumstantial
evidence."

* * *

The smug satisfaction of the rustic in his clear perception and shrewd
reasoning is illustrated by the dialogue between two farmers meeting on
the road.

"Did you hear that old man Jones's house burned down last night?"

"I ain't a mite surprised. I was goin' past there in the evenin', an'
when I saw the smoke a-comin' out all round under the eaves, I sez to
myself, sez I, 'Where there's smoke there must be fire.' An' so it was!"

* * *

"Shall I leave the hall light burning, ma'am?" the servant asked.

"No," her mistress replied. "I think my husband won't get home until
daylight. He kissed me goodbye before he went, and gave me twenty
dollars for a new hat."