EAGER TO WAIT: DOES PROLONGING ASKING FOR SEX MEANS YOU CARE?

It’s funny how cultural references take on new meanings throughout life. Especially in the case when we’re discussing the topic of sex. I remember when I first heard of the 90 day rule. Which is basically the time-frame adequate for a man and woman to engage in sexual intercourse. When I first heard this rule, I have to admit, it sound rather silly to place a time-frame on sex. Because the great thing about sex is that it’s just supposed to happen. And nothing says sex is not interesting or spontaneous like putting a calendar date on it. Now, is there a reason for this to exist? Is there any real logic as to why a rule like this must be put into place?

Let’s try to understand the essence of the 90 day rule. Well, for starters, 90 days is seen as a quality enough time period for people to get to know each other. Alright, why do people need time to get to know one another? The reason being, is that men and women are wired differently. We aim to get sex as quickly as possible, while women tend to want to wait. And we are judged differently in society also. So given that, women feel that there must be adequate time in order for men and women to get to know one another before engaging in sex. So there is something other than just the physical; meaning an investment.

Which leads me to the next reason why people wait. Sex is part of a relationship that involves investing. Investing time and space for a more long-term situation. So making someone wait sounds rational. You never want to feel like you’re rushing something that could potentially go somewhere. But is there a such thing as waiting too long? You might think you’re waiting for the right time and wind-up losing something good in the process. Is there always a reason to wait? In my opinion, no.

I know the old-fashioned way is to make someone wait for sex. But in my opinion, I don’t think in the past people waited. It was just a lot more taboo to talk about it. People in the past weren’t as open with sexuality as they are now. But nonetheless, people didn’t wait for the opportunity to have sex. Why is this so? Because it’s a human emotion. People are not designed to hold off on something that is so natural. Sex is a normal behavioral action. And I think that in our society we tend to suppress this natural action. And religion has a lot to do with it as well as society. We’re all afraid of being judged on so many of our actions, but the people who judge may be doing the same as you.

In the end, there are good reasons, but I also think that sometimes, people can be a little ridiculous with the rules they place on sex. Man has turned a fun and spontaneous engagement into a job. You’re told on a job that your benefits kick in 90 days, so the whole time, you’re thinking about the benefit. Sure, a relationship is an interview, but sex shouldn’t be a job. If it’s a job, maybe it’s not worth having it at all.