White Hubby Says “Match Made in Heaven” Is Typical BC Nonsense

May 12, 2016 | Christelyn Karazin |

My husband knows I hate reality television. Like…ALL of it.It’s so far from real life–contrived conflicts and faux outrage. He watches some, which makes me give him the side eye at times. But he mostly keeps his viewership to Fast and Loud and Gold Rush.

When we saw a recent promo for Match Made in Heaven, the “black” version of The Bachelor, where you have mostly black women fighting and scheming to land themselves the ultimate IBM (Ideal Black Man), he said something quite perceptive. “Isn’t this show just a representation of what goes on with the community anyway? A bunch of really awesome, quality black women flipping and doing stripper splits to get the attention of a coveted black man?”

I blinked at him, mouth full of popcorn, and thought that this show might well be the first reality show that actually represents reality. As a man married to a black woman for 14 years, he’s been on the periphery of the the dating and mating dynamic endemic to the black community, and the unique dating challenges black women face because we outnumber marriageable black men by the millions in America. That dearth has lead to a certain willingness of black women to accept some behaviors that really should always be unacceptable: man sharing, polygamy, out-of-wedlock births, unprotected sex, wfiey tryouts lasting decades, I could go on and on.

Match Made in Heaven seems like more of the same nonsense, where black women are forced to bend to the whims of a man in order to be “worthy” of him as a prize, whatever that means. Stevie is the object of the women’s affection, and while he is undoubtedly handsome and successful, he knows what a rare commodity he is–at that will be why you’ll see the candidates abdicated all self respect in order to turn his head. Check out the promo video, narrated by Sherry Shepard, our favorite NBABM ex-morning TV host.

Did you hear that? “They’ll hold nothing back from fighting for their man.” That’s a dog whistle if I’ve ever heard one. Cue the wretchedness we’ll all be subjected to while Stevie ponders his decision of who to exploit pick. Oh, and then there’s his mama, his mama, his mama. No mention of a father, and I’m sorry but many of you know what that produces–spoiled, entitled beings who believe that women are put on this earth to service any and all their needs, who often have absolutely NO IDEA how to be good husbands and fathers because they’ve never seen it. This often puts black women in an untenable situation where potential mates expect them to be both mother and wife, with no inkling that they need to bring more to the table than a phallus as a paycheck, and sometimes not even that. The mothers are often culpable in perpetuating this nonsense in some sick compulsion to protect their precious sons. It’s an all around mess, and I’m sure America will have a big, fat, guffaw.

The producers will be sure to throw in a cat fight between a white woman and a black woman in competition for the black phallus.

What makes this show even more pathetic is that the host, Sherry Shepard who is embroiled in a bitter divorce with a man who looked good on paper in the black community, and now she’ll be strapped to him forever, paying child support to the surrogate child they had together and the court ordered her to acknowledge. Shepard is one of many pitiful, middle-aged black women on television who chase black men and ONLY black men because of some Cinderella-pie-in-the-sky dream that often leaves them wanting. It’s almost a joke really. Come on ladies! Look at the host of the show, the woman you will most likely become if you adhere to the nothing-but-a-black-man doctrine!!

Three guess on who WON’T be watching on May 19 when the show premieres.

Trash “reality” this show perpetuates the issues we’ve been fighting and talking about. Your husband is right.

jpierre3369

And most black women will co-sign this crap as “good tv”.

Shirley2006

He really looks like a few of my cousins who’ve made babies but they don’t have a bride.
Confession time: I used to be a HUGE fan for Flava Flavs dating show on VH1! Do you remember that from years ago? I don’t have cable anymore so I don’t know if he’s still associated with that network. Remember how all those sistas were vying for his attention? Of all those “dates”, he ended up with Brigette Neilson–Giant Nordic Woman! I love their show, though! LOL! I hope these black women are ready for him to not choose any of them!

Mich35

Would not even waste my precious time and valuable brain cells on this show.

trinigirl1

I remember seeing this mess last year- he also had WW fighting for him if memory serves and he sent a couple of them packing, you know the ‘stripper types’ while he kept a college educated BW and another WW to look like he’s fair. He was ‘seriously thinking about things’ and yes, his mother, OMG that woman was a head case. Nobody good enough for her baby. It was SO SAD but I just couldn’t help laughing at the lunacy of it all. Here’s the photo that came up for me, I almost posted this one on the other thread. BW just need to get a grip and a clue and leave these men in peace.

Patricia Kayden

Maybe in the end, the Bschelor will pick Sherrie. He’s Black so he’ll do.

your epiphany

The bachelor hasn’t been good since season 1. The whole concept, especially nowadays, just seems really gross for the lack of a better word. Everyone reverts back to being a high school kid with their childish antics trying to win over the “popular guy” or “popular girl”. I can’t take any of them seriously especially since “I love him or her” even though they’ve known each other for maybe two weeks and the man or woman is making out with a ton of other people. Or the fact that all but one of the relationships has crashed and burned. I honestly don’t feel sorry for anyone of them in the end because they knew exactly what they’re signing up for and that includes some form of humiliation. There is no “reality” when you’re egging on fights, scripting things in the background, and most of the people are looking for their 15 minutes than actual love.

KennaYG

Interesting how black men love talk about IBM don’t date ghetto black women, yet will co-sign ratchetry as long as they are the ones women are vying for.

trinigirl1

Shirley2006

This is so funny, the other night some old movie with Brigette & Sly Stallone came on and I thought about her and Flavor Flav, at first I couldn’t remember his name at all, LOL then I remembered that girl “New York”, saw her on something not long along- that show was stupid crazy and i was just as crazy watching it all the time to see what happened. Sometimes you’re just grateful it’s not you in the any of that madness. Whew!

Lil mommie

I don’t understand why anyone would want to watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Those are not real relationships. It’s not even a comedy relationship. I think shows like this are sad. There is one reality show that I really like called Catfish. It’s more interesting and shows the good, bad, and ugly if human interactions via online dating. Well online dating in the sense that these people usually meet on instagram, Facebook, etc.

EthioPride

I don’t watch white reality show and i won’t be watching this reality show either. I don’t care fro trash TV. Now pardon me, let me go finish BBC’s documentary on African Kingdoms.

oceanspray

Pathetic as the show undoubtly is, someone’s watching it. I wonder if this has a majority black viewership?

chest_nut61

We all know there’s such a thing as community service. Given all of the things Chris mentions here, I’d have to label this program a community DISservice. Not only does it showcase the very real problem of BW fighting to find that one good BM, but then you have the mama, the fighting between the women, etc. It just puts on display and reinforces all the harmful stereotypes that are already out there.

PaoloP

I’d rather endure an hour of fingernails scratching an old fashioned slate chalkboard than watch reality TV. I’m just not cut out for that kind of punishment.

BWC

trinigirl1 Shirley2006
Oh yeah, VH1 in it’s prime <sarc>. Flav and Bridge met on some other show where d list “celebrities” lived in a house together. I remember Jose Conseco, The hedgehog Ron Jeremy, Some Top Model show winner with one of the Brady boys…

I think Bridget gave up on Flav when she quit drinking and went to Dr. Drew’s rehab show or something like that. Who knows or cares lol!

I did like those “I love the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s” shows though

ToriSpeaks007

“Oh, and then there’s his mama, his mama, his mama” Yep there you go right there! planting that seed of foolishness that is the black man. Mama got him thinking he’s God’s gift to women. I wouldn’t watch this mess if they paid me. well… maybe if they paid me lol!

I simply will not be watching this train wreck. Why are black women’s self esteem so low? African American women need to keep calm and date OUT.

EarthJeff

His mama?? Geez….

Bren82

I agree with Mr. Karazin. I’m not going to watch a show where nothing is new and nothing is fresh or surprising. It’s a complete waste of time, especially since I can speculate how the show will most likely end.

DER KOMMANDANT

Yes!!!! I loved those shows, I won’t lie! And actually he and Brigitte hooked up after they did the surreal life. Then vh1 gave those two their own show because Brigitte was so outrageous. Then, they gave flavor flav the flavor of love. It was really New York and the spitting incident with pumpkin that pushed that show into the big time. It spawned so many other shows just like it, for awhile it seemed like EVERY channel had dug up some has-been celebrity with a bunch of people acting a fool to date them. And I probably watched every one! My favorites were flavor of love and rock of love, and all their spin-off shows.

You know it does. They are marketing this show to black women specifically because African Americans, and black women specifically watch the most television out of any other demographic.

DER KOMMANDANT

If I had cable I’d probably watch it. Hey, why not gawk at stupid people putting their shame on display for ALL to see? These people have no shame anyway. Yes, it’s very sad for them, but it still makes for great scandalous entertainment! I don’t think this would be much better if it was a white guy up there, ala the bachelor. Still, I would probably watch it though. Anyone who is so delusional to think that this behavior is good in any way and will make them famous, is just BEGGING to be made fun of. So why not give them what they want? Everyone loves a fool, like, historically. There is something very satisfying about watching a train wreck, it’s just human nature. This type of entertainment definitely has its place. And with these types of shows the guy in question is rarely what he says he is, usually broke too. It’s just salacious patheticness all around! I love these types of shows because more than likely you’ll never meet anyone who’s as much of a mess as these people in these shows. You wonder where they find them all!

ladyofmagic1974

I can’t stand shows like this! I don’t watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette so why in the hell would I watch something that shows BW fighting for a so-called IBM in a negative view. It’s bad enough that there are BW in real life that fight over these so-called IBM. There are so-called IBM that knows they are a “catch” and don’t care about having a bunch desperate BW (and a few non BW) fighting over scraps.

DER KOMMANDANT

Good Lord! I’ve always had an affinity for trashy tv. When I was a kid, I used to watch Richard Bey and Jenny Jones behind my mother’s back. Maury (well, the new and improved version anyways, remember when he was respectable?) was the line I never crossed. One lazy summer afternoon my very straight edge, studious best friend suggested I tune into Maury. I was surprised she even watched it! She told me that I’ll never meet anyone as messed up as these people, so I may as well watch. I was in after that! I got into judge Mathis as well (they played it back to back) but I stopped watching after he made fun of a woman for being fat in a picture. She had since had gastric bypass surgery. I know, I know, THAT’S where I draw the line? But I used to watch all those judge shows with my grandfather. Except judge Judy. My mother wants to do violence to that old bitty. Remember mills lane had one too? Good times.
My sister actually went on forgive or forget back in the 90’s. Her and her friend cooked up a story about a ruined wedding dress, and a stolen fiance. They just wanted the $100 each for the show appearance. The money was spent before they got home! I so wish I could find that footage on YT! Memories man!

simplylois

The whole idea is a mess. Sherrie should have thought twice about supporting this mess. Especially after her own personal divorce drama. She still have not learned anything.

simplylois

Savage Tango messy, messy.

SavannahDoll

I wish I would fight over a black man smh……

Shirley2006

simplylois Sherry isn’t an intelligent person. Whoopi couldn’t get her to say the world was round and she claimed that “there was nothing before Christ” in that he predates both Greek philosophers and the Roman Empire. She’s also the one who sobbed so hard when her now ex husband showed up to sing ffor her on The View for Valentine’s day (which was painful to watch.) In conclusion, she’s a vacuous ninny.

Shirley2006

DER KOMMANDANT The boat springing a leak looked pretty funny!

Shirley2006

BWC trinigirl1 Shirley2006 VH1 was must-see viewing for me for a while there! I LOVED the “I love the 80s” series!! Of course there was Flav. And do you remember “The Best Week Ever” when they had comedians recount the pop culture news of the week? I loved VH1!

Shirley2006

DER KOMMANDANT I thought he and Brigitte made the best couple! There was genuine affection and she was actually attracted to him! Ahhh!! New York!! I loved that NY Pumpkin nonsense. Funny thing, my boyfriend, now husband didn’t own a TV but when he’d come over, he’d get all into the those VH1 Flav dating shows. 🙂 I corrputed him, poor thing.

Shirley2006

Savage Tango I saw a woman from my college days who was confessing on Oprah that she was a virgin–and probably way to old to be one–on national tv! I was sad for her.

DER KOMMANDANT

YASSS! In the second season! I really felt kinda bad for her, drinking too much and all that excitement leads to accidents sometimes! And I love how new york’s mother HATED flavor flav. You know it was because he was dark. And the girl who was outed as a porn star and got eliminated for it (really flav? YOU think you can get high and mighty? Lol) That was kind of a golden era in reality tv, the “celebreality” years on vh1. My mom watched strange love because of Brigitte, but she was never into trashy tv, and wasn’t remotely interested in flavor of love. But after the pumpkin-New york debacle, she couldn’t stop. My whole family was watching it. Rock of love, charm school, all of it. I think those writers were just able to create a certain kind of drama that hasn’t been able to be duplicated so far. Also the casting people had a really good eye. Those shows were just so watchable, for whatever reason no matter what your tastes in television, you were watching those shows back in 06′!

DER KOMMANDANT

Oh, I almost forgot about miss “lip chap” saaphyri! How could I forget her! She started off season 2 with a bang!

Shirley2006

Savage Tango Oh my god…LOL! You have so much on me at this point, I’m kind of afraid of you now! LOL!

Shirley2006

DER KOMMANDANT LOL! You are making me laugh so much remembering this stuff! It’s so fun remembering with you! LOL! It really was the golden age of reality/celeb tv. I even watched The Osbornes! Ok, I have another memory. Remember when Flav’s mom showed up and all the girls had to cook chicken? I forget her name but NY’s arch rival at the time put it in the microwave and hit the “chicken” button and served it all raw to Flav and his mom! haha!! And Flav was like, “you weren’t serious with that were you?” and looking around for the girl who did it and the culprit is looking around too like, “yea, which one of you served this raw chicken?” LOL! Lordy! That was just entertaining. They don’t make em like that anymore.

DER KOMMANDANT

I think it was nibblz, but I’m not sure. I loved it when they brought new york back, though. I grew to like her, I think she grew on everybody after awhile. In the first season I was totally rooting for hoops, she just seemed so much more down to earth. But by the second season you couldn’t help but love her and the drama she brought with her. I also watched her spin off, with chance, and his brother real who passed last year. Everybody had a dating show on vh1 on one point. Even Antonio sabato Jr had one. But that guy who killed his girlfriend that was on Megan wants a murderer… I mean millionaire, vh1 decided to end the celebreality genre of shows. I hear new York is developing a new show for vh1, though. I can’t lie, I’d check it out for old times sake!

EarthJeff

Love divorce court. You learn a lot about relationships from judge lynn

BWC

Have you seen Ghost Brothers on Destination America?

LovelyLulu

Shirley2006 Savage Tango I don’t get it, why be sad for her? I’m probably way too old to be a virgin as well and yet I am one. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, certainly not on the same level as not knowing who the father of your kid is.

SavannahDoll I don’t know why but your comment has me laughing hysterically. Too funny and I can just imagine your face as you read the post and typed in your comment. I bet a lot of the readers are thinking the same exact thing. 🙂

Shirley2006

LovelyLulu Shirley2006 Savage Tango I was sad because she went on Oprah to talk about it, how it was a problem, and how she wanted Iyanla to help her. Sad.

LovelyLulu

Shirley2006 LovelyLulu Savage Tango Well yes it’s a long time but everyone is different. Just because society decides when the ~appropriate~ time to have sex doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for all people.
A someone who understands a little of what that woman was going through a lot of the pitying or shaming or judging people have for women like us is very unhelpful. Especially since it feels like it’s something we’re supposed to hide. But then of course it’s a a topic that will always come up and then we’re stuck with either lying and thus, enabling society to act like we’re a minority of freaks, or we tell the truth and get very hurtful and unhelpful reactions.

Reactions like this is why we feel like we have to hide in shame and that’s not fair.

Shirley2006

LovelyLulu Shirley2006 Savage Tango Oh girl. People can live how they want. I was just sad because she seemed to be struggling.

I truly thought that these reality shows would never make it. Boy was I wrong.
For the life of me I just can not understand it all.

Bren82

What is she waiting for/what is the issue? Is she waiting for a special someone or does she just want to get it done because finding someone to do the deed with isn’t hard.

Shirley2006

Bren82 She described how she felt abandoned by her father when she was a child and that she wasn’t able to have a relationship with a man because of it. I’m glad she’s seeking help. Not sure if Oprah and Iyanla are the ones to help–the aren’t exactly carrying the banner of black women expanding their dating options (and frankly Oprah’s built her fortune on building up white, suburban women). So, Iyanla’s advice was to have her meditate on what kind of self-talk she engages in, what negativity is she holding on to. I also happen to know that she’s a church lady who lost her mother recently so maybe losing the anchor of her mother as her confused. But, yes, no physical intimacies and she’s well into her 40s.

zipporah

Wilkos is the only one I would watch

RaquelWhities

I feel the same way. I also thought that MTV would continue to be MUSIC Television, but I was wrong about that too.

Dezzi

Shirley2006 Savage Tango
Wait a minute… I must have missed that story time. *scoots chair up again*
LOL jk 😛

pesha

RaquelWhities
What happen with MTV? I’m out of the loop. Old lady here.

Shirley2006

Savage Tango HA! Yea, I didn’t want to PRY but I wondered if it was something along those lines…what could take someone like Savage T away from perfectly good grilled chicken..? Hmmm!

Shirley2006

Dezzi Shirley2006 Savage Tango LOL! Well, that was back when I overshared on this blog! 🙂 And Savage T had a front row seat and apparently he’s got a steel trap memory, too! Basically, I described how I jumped my date’s bones before our third date, not even making it out to our plans because, in the words of Spike Lee, “She’s Gotta Have It!” I forget what the topic of the thread was, though! Personally, I don’t think we share enough PG13-R stories on this blog! Sure, we’ve got standards here. But, I DO have stories! 🙂

And here is quote from the article:
“What do memes of wooden rings and videos of #StruggleWeddings have in common?

Both send a subtle message to black women to accept mediocrity and being treated like an afterthought. Both condition black women to believe this nonsense that “being a good woman” means expecting nothing but warm and fuzzies from a potential marriage suitor.There are a lot of black men (and women) out there teaching black women that if you expect anything more than happy feelings, butterflies, and an invisible spiritual connection from a potential marriage suitor – then you’re a gold digger and “your standards are too high.”

Dezzi Shirley2006 Savage Tango Haha! Well, I love to share (or overshare) as I do on this blog!) I’ve got a few Halloween stories but there’s never been a thread about Halloween encounters…blog admins…I’ve got some good IR Halloween stories! 🙂

pesha

Silverroxen
Sigh….
I have no words.

Cloe H

So this is the 2016 version of Flava of Love (sans the greasy loser)? I can only hope these silly broads represent themselves with dignity and class. But if they’re on a “reality show” fighting over a ran through mama’s boy then they probably don’t know the meaning of either word.

swirlinBeachlady1

Dezzi, Audra is one of my favorites. Great.

swirlinBeachlady1

Savage Tango, Gary you are to funny! Lol

swirlinBeachlady1

Gary, oh lord!!

swirlinBeachlady1

Savage Tango, Roflmao…oh god!!U0001f60a

melissamak007

Dezzi She is so beautiful and talented.

HoustonNurse

It’s like, you know the face and the voice that went into that comment! Lol

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