Soul's Weight - Author's Note and Music

So this has been quite an experience writing something so long, but that was easy compared to getting it all posted here on LJ and on AO3. Yes a learning experience which wasn't all fun, but now I know how to do it better for next time (I think). But I don't think I'll ever be able to figure out why AO3 randomly leaves off the leading or ending paragraphs of a chapter? hmmm.

I wanted to share with you a little bit about why I wrote this story. I was inspired initially by the thought which I've carried since first watching the end of season 5 "What if Dean had said YES also?" I loved the whole Stull cemetery scene in Swan Song, but I always was left wanting Dean to have had more of an active role in the ending of the Apocalypse. Maybe if it was the end of the series they would have done it that way, instead of having them be separated forever (that would have killed the entire fandom I think). So my thinking led me to having the brothers end up in the Cage together with the angels and off I went with the story.

Then having the God-finding Samulet be a pivotal plot-point was next on the list for me of season 5 things to question and try and fix. Because after finding out the importance of this thing (much less the emotional importance of it to Sam and Dean) and then Dean just throwing it away never to be seen again never made sense to me. No way would Sam have left that thing in the trashcan. So what did he do with it? Stashed it at Bobby's of course, in one of the owls he'd always played with as a kid:(My photoshopped version of Jim Beaver's tweeted picture of the three owls saved from the dismantling of Bobby's house set by Jared Padalecki.)

Same with Jesse the Anti-Christ, introducing such a fascinating character in the middle of season 5, and then *poof* he's gone forever, Such a waste! I wanted to revisit him and see how he'd changed after discovering that he was the Anti-Christ. I also wanted to see if he would fit in well hanging out with Sam and Dean as a newly-created family of sorts, and what do you know, I think he kind of does. Yes I've written stories with him in them before, but I think this is my favorite because he gets to help rescue Sam for Dean. I just think he'd be really happy to have a human connection with the brothers.

Also, I wanted more time with Death (what a thing to say, only a Supernatural fan would right?) since we only had that one awesome meeting over pizza in season 5. There's a lot to Death of course and he's fun to try and write his interactions with we puny humans. The way they left our jaws hanging with that reveal that Chuck was God was great, but then its never been explored on the show since then. Which is a shame in my opinion. I've always had this pet theory that Crowley=God=Chuck, so I threw that in there too. Maybe I'll write up a meta thingy about my theory, because I think it would be the best twist they could throw at us since Ruby... It was fun thinking up how Death and Jesse would be hanging around God's house, eating junk food and cheering on the Winchester's reunion with their cars all out on the driveway. The house is based on one that I recently stayed at (friends of parents) and it is as described, a slice of Heaven on Earth.

The biggest thing about this story was what I put Dean through to get Sam back, and this was inspired by how he was behaving in seasons 6 and 7. I kept thinking someone needs to sit that man down and have him go through a life review, or they need to have an "It's a Wonderful Life" episode so he can get his soul repaired somehow. How much longer can he soldier on so completely damaged? Sure he rescued Sam's soul for him, but what about Dean's? It needs some fixing, so I got to do that in my story.

Again thank you to my wonderful artist culper355 and my fabulous beta stella_lost, I could NOT have done this without you!

I thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoyed!

Now onto the music, because why not, songs are either mentioned in the chapters or I just thought suited the chapter. Unfortunately I don't know how to do a downloadable version so these are just listen-able youtube links.....