I know this is, um, premature, but I couldn't wait to get started, and as this will truly be breaking new ground, I'm submitting the following as a sample to help flesh out what people want in a review. How much detail do you want, and still keep it a serious review? This area is even more subjective than the DVDs, I think, and much more personal - but hey, I'm willing to make the sacrifice for the consumer! Plus, I can now try out all those impulse buys that remain unopened in my toybox. So, without further ado.....

Peter North "The Decorator" Dildo

TYPE: Dildos, Dingers, & Dongs (never have figured out the difference, but this is how I usually see them listed, plus it sounds kinda cute)
*LENGTH: about 9 inches (base to tip) x 2 iches wide
*EXTRA FEATURES: Vibrating head, squirting capability, toy cleaner, lube, and 8x10 glossy of Mr. North included.
*PRICE: about $59.00
*REASON FOR PURCHASE: To get off
*WHAT I EXPECTED: To get off
*BANG FOR YOUR BUCK: ***** 5 stars

REVIEW:
Well (pant) let me just say (pant) that, just like in his movies, Peter North delivers, and then some! (Blondie lights cigarette) This is a realistic looking, well made dildo, with a nice feel to it. The variable speed battery pack takes 2 AA's and looks pretty sturdy. Unlike some who put the vibrating bullet in the base, this one places it near the head, which is a nice touch. It can also be filled with warm water (or any liquid, I'd imagine) by squeezing the balls, inserting the head in water, then releasing pressure. This turned out to be a feature I liked very much - it was a real turn on to feel those squirts of warm fluid, and like Peter, this bad boy squirts alot, which also keeps things nice & slippery. So, overall, I'd say this one's a keeper - but right now I'd just like to roll over & go to sleep!