Title: Cinnamon and Sweet Things
Rating: G
Couplings: KanexCanal, NeenaxMillie, KazexMillie (original character)
Notes: Heyhey, my first stand-alone Lost Universe fanfic is also
my first shoujo-ai attempt, taking place after the series is through.

Read. F/F SLASH. SHOUJO AI. Please do not read further
if that idea disgusts you.

Anyway, I'd like to explain a few things. Rail is undoubtedly
my favorite character, and that's why he gets shafted in this story, because
we always hurt the ones we love - he won't be left out next time.
I would also like to say that Kane and Canal are the sweeted, lovliest,
cutest het ouple in the whole wide world. ^#^ I may do a story on
them after I finish the RailxKane shounen ai I'm working on. The
song in this fic is 'Beautiful' by Joydrop, and really fits the mood of
the story. I reccommend it.

Ah, yes, Kaze is an original character and thus property of Whitecat
(my dearest clone) and I. Please do not use or copy him in any way,
as he is ours and we do not like to share. ^_^;

~~~~If I was beautiful like youOh, the things I would doThose not so blessed would be crying out murderAnd I'd just laugh and get away with it tooLike you do

If I was beautiful like youI would never be at faultI'd walk in the rain between the rain dropsBringing traffic to a halt~~~~

Blue or green? Sliding one hand down her slim torso, Neena tilted
her head and regarded her reflection in the mirror with a faint upturning
of coral lips. Today was worth getting dressed up for - today was
different, today was special. Bearing that in mind, the brunette
swept her hair back into a long, coiling ponytail and tied it there, watching
a few loose curls balance out around her face. In the mirror, expressive
green eyes winked back at her - she met them and smiled again.

"I look silly," she told herself, "smiling all the time. People
will think I'm crazy."

But she couldn't help it. She'd been smiling for weeks, ever since
Rail called her into his office and set the date for a gathering of old
friends - Kane and Millie, who Neena hadn't seen in the eighteen months
since the fall of Nightmare. Weeks of waiting and smiling and thinking
and hoping all boiled down to this - and she wanted to look her best, as
superficial as that was. Her very best.

Blue, Neena decided at last, because it would match the eyes Millie
and Kane shared. Silently she puckered her lips to test the faint
pinkish lipstick she'd picked up the day before and smacked once, twice,
at last satisfied with the little luxury of make-up, a frivolous addition
to her normally plain visage. Smoothing her sweater, the brunette
regarded herself again and nodded.

"Okay. Deep breaths. This is it," Neena told herself as
a horn blast echoed outside, shouting three times and silencing.
Silly Rail, ever the showman - honking his horn to beckon a girl rather
than escort her to the car. Neena smiled. "Coming, Rail!"

He was indeed waiting, looking incredible as ever in a gray jacket and
black slacks, his eyes stormy and suave, looking her up and down with a
flirty gaze that made Neena blush. "Sorry to keep you waiting," she
told him, slipping into the front seat and folding her legs politely.
He laughed quietly and winked at her, throwing one arm against the back
of the seat and turning on the car.

"You're a pretty girl. Being fashionably late is in your blood,"
he told her.

Neena smiled and looked out the window for the rest of the trip.

~~~~
~~~~

Kane looked good. Not just good - really good, Neena had to admit.
Even Rail gave him a long, appraising stare as the redhead approached their
table - Kane looked older, and though he still wore his beloved mantle,
he felt more mature, seemed to have a stronger look about him and
stand a bit straighter... His confidence in his own abilities, Neena
decided, was what gave him such an appearance. Kane had gone from
being a boy desperate to live up to a ghost to being a young man, strong
and secure in what he could do - no more or less than that. Neena
smiled and waved, Rail sipped his coffee, and Kane flopped down next to
them, saying his hellos with a grin.

They talked. General things at first - where had Kane been?
How was Rail faring? And had Neena come close to any promotions?
Kane explained that he was searching for a way to get Canal back, and both
Rail and Neena nodded - they had assumed as much. Millie was working
with him as a partner, still, although she had been recently hired alone
on a bodyguard mission. He hadn't seen her for two months,
he told them, smiling secretively over the brim of his cup. Rail
was back in his secure position in the Guardians, having been absolved
of his crimes under the assumption that the mind control was complete and
he could have done nothing to stop it - the Lost Ships were unfathomable,
and thus his name had been cleared. He was seeing a pretty blue-haired
girl, who he seemed to like a lot, though not enough to keep himself from
watching ever cute girl that walked by.

Neena told of her family and her wage increase, mentioned that she'd
finally managed to take the edge off of her mechanical phobia by managing
to buy a computer and owning it for four weeks before it finally fizzled
out on her.

Millie was late. Neena was edgy.

"She's probably just getting her surprise in order," Kane told them
with a suspiciously innocent smile. "She couldn't wait to tell you
- don't worry, she'll be here."

A half an hour later Rail wandered off to talk to a group of girls sitting
by a fountain in the station's mall. Neena ordered a smoothie and
Kane picked lint from his cape as the minutes ticked by on the massive
clock mounted on the wall, over a fountain where little children tossed
coins, their laughter lost in the low roar of the mall's echoing crowd.
"So," the brunette said at last, tilting her head, "Kane."

"Hm?"

"I want to ask you something," she continued, blushing a bit.
"About... friendship."

"Is this about Rail?" Kane asked immediately, quirking a brow.
Neena laughed faintly and shook her head, no. "It's more serious
than Rail. I mean, it's more...about love. I guess."
She was blushing, her cheeks flushed red.

"Sure, you can talk to me," Kane told her, standing up. "Would
you like to walk around a bit? Millie will beep me when she gets
here."

"I'd like that." Kane offered his arm and Neena accepted, smiling
faintly. Kane was refreshing with his manners and polite words around
a lady - Rail never did that.

"I think I love someone," she whispered, just loud enough for him to
hear as they rounded the corner of the food court and wound out into the
walkways of the mall. "But I'm not sure. Have you ever been
in love?"

"No," Neena glanced away, feeling the blush fade. Just tell
Kane, she told herself, just explain and he'll understand. "Rail
is sweet. I liked him for a long time," she admitted softly, "But
he... he sees me as just another girl. Around him I feel like a temporary
amusement, until he can find someone better looking, or someone smarter,
or more talented, or richer.... and he flirts. I flirt, too...
But only because I'm supposed to," a pained look flashed across her face,
"only because flirting is what any normal girl would do when her commander
is a smart, suave, dashing young rebel. Rail Claymore and all of
his charms."

"But.... I take it you're telling me you're not a normal girl, Neena."
The brunette nodded and wondered how Kane managed to feel so much older
than her. She wasn't sure. It hadn't always been like this...

~~~~But that would never beThat would never be'cause I'm not beautiful like youI'm beautiful like me

If I was beautiful like youI'd be quick to assumeThey'd do anything to please me - why not?I see their reaction when you walk into the room~~~~

"I feel so superficial," she sighed, pausing to sweep her bangs out
of her eyes, "with him. And with you, I feel like a know-nothing...
a klutz who can't do anything right. With Canal," she wished she
hadn't mentioned the AI, because Kane looked pained when she spoke the
name, "I was always worried about hurting something. And with the
other girls at the office I feel so out of place, because I don't feel
like they do about Rail, about clothes, about...everything."

Kane paused and Neena joined him as they peered over a railing and down
into the three floors of stores, plazas, and arching walkways that made
up the majority of the space mall. "That leaves...."

"Yeah," Neena nodded, glancing up shyly. His eyes, she noticed,
were like hers - only hers were wider, and her lashes prettier. Not
that Kane's delicately boned face could be called anything but pretty...Millie
just had a more open, expressive air to her. Neena smiled.
"Her."

Kane did a double take, so extreme that he almost fell over the balcony,
and Neena had to put a hand on his shoulder before he calmed and stared
at her in surprise. "Wow. I mean - Neena - wow. I had
no idea."

Green eyes closed for a moment in a sugar-sweet smile, and Neena tilted
her head, gazing questioningly at the young man at her side. "Does
it bother you?"

"N-no," Kane stuttered, suddenly looking very young again, young and
caught in a situation he had no idea how to handle. "It's not that.
I'm just... surprised. I mean, you never...never..."

"Never said anything," Neena tugged at a lock of hair and shook her
head, relieved. Kane meant his words - because if there was one thing
she could be certain of in life it was that the redheaded man was incapable
of uttering a falsity. "I know. To anyone. In fact, I
think you're the only one that really knows," she added, hopefully.
"Please don't tell."

"I...won't." Kane looked agonized. "Do you...want to talk
about it?"

"That was the general idea," Neena told him gently. Kane blushed
adorably, and she continued. "She's...she's beautiful, don't you
think? And around her, I can be myself. She...she talks
to me like nobody else does, like I'm nothing but a friend. Not...
not a danger, or a ditz, or a coworker... just a friend. A good friend,
someone worthwhile, someone to be close to... Millennium Feria Nocturne
makes me feel special, and beautiful, and unique."

Neena licked her lips and watched Rail's expression as he flirted, as
he went through expert steps and charmed a growing group of women.
She cupped her chin in her hands and sighed. "Do you think I'm strange?"

Kane blinked at her from beneath his bangs and laughed after a moment
of pregnant silence. "Nah. It...sounds like you do care about
her," he said, sounding wistful. "That's how... how Canal made me
feel. Makes me feel. And I would do anything for her... but...
"

Nodding, Neena stepped back and smiled. How many times had she
discussed Kane with Millie, over a meal and a drink? How many shopping
trips had she spent listening to Millie discuss her then-unknown cousin
with exasperation and amusement that bordered on sisterly affection?
She was, deep down, a bit jealous of Kane's closeness to the object of
her affection - he never had to fear rejection, because he would always
be family. He would always be there.

"Neena, before you tell her-"

"I won't," Neena leaned back and closed her eyes. "I decided not
to...a long time ago."

Kane opened his mouth to speak, and the brunette looked away.
How could she explain? When Neena spoke again, her voice was
strained, her emerald eyes downcast. Kane reached out and tucked
an arm over her shoulder, letting her lean against him as she searched
for the words she needed. "You don't understand...how much I..."

~~~~But that would never beThat would never be'cause I'm not beautiful like youI'm beautiful like me~~~~

"How much I love her. I... I want to be just like her.
I want..." I want to hold her, and be close to her, and smell her
hair. I want to taste those lips - just once - and be happy
with her. I want to have her secret, special smile, and hold it close
to my heart. I want to wake up in her arms, and brush her hair out
of her eyes, and make her feel like she makes me feel. Was that too
much to ask for?

Neena closed her mouth, and her eyes, and let out a deep, shuddering
breath as she stilled the flooding thoughts that had occupied her mind
for all the long months - years - since she had last seen her perfect,
beautiful best friend who would never feel the way she did. "Millennium
Feria Nocturne is perfect. That's all. That's why I can't tell
her."

"Perfect..."

"She's so strong," Neena whispered, tears beading in her eyes as she
leaned against Kane's shoulder, and he stroked her shoulders awkwardly,
nervously. He smelled like Millie - but different, more masculine,
but enough like her to make the words get sticky in the back of Neena's
throat. Smelled like the Swordbreaker and soap and energy.
Millie smelled like that, only with flowers underneath, flowers and cinnamon
and sweet things. "She's like a light. She's so...bright
that she fills up a room when she walks in. And when I'm with her,
she lights me up too, and I feel so good about...everything. If I
lost that...."

She blinked back the tears, angry at herself for slipping. Determined
to enjoy the day, Neena rubbed her face dry with the sleeve of her sweater
and looked up, meeting Kane's dead serious gaze with a look of confusion.
"Kane? What's wrong?"

He was looking over her shoulder, eyes filled with something next to
anxiety, or embarrassment, or pity. Neena suddenly dreaded turning
around, suddenly terrified of what was there, knowing that whatever it
was might render her soft confession of love useless. "It's Millie?"
she asked faintly, and Kane agreed with almost imperceptible tilt of his
head.

I don't want to turn around.

I don't want things to change.

I want it to stay like this forever.

Neena Mercury turned on one heel and glanced straight ahead, taking
strength from the hand that Kane slipped down to her waist.

It was Millie. Millie, a little different than she remembered,
with longer hair and darker lashes, her arm entwined around someone else,
someone tall and smiling, at home in dark leather and weaving fishnets.
He as perfect, sculpted, smiling through silver bangs, a purple braid winding
down his back.

He was...kissing her temple.

Neena's heart skipped a beat, then another, and for a moment the world
turned dizzy and red, and she couldn't breath or think of move - and then
slowly Kane's fingers tightened, and she remembered where she was.
What she had to say, do, who she had to pretend to be.

"Neena! I want you to meet someone!"

She gulped.

"This is Kaze... he's... well, he's my fiancé."

Neena nodded, opened her mouth and closed it again. Brilliant
blue eyes beamed at her, and she had to struggle not to drown in their
depths as Kaze offered a hand and smiled winningly at her, a flicker of
concern glancing across his face as their palms touched.

She hesitated, and then slowly, painfully let a smile rest on her lips
and travel up to her eyes, though the green orbs weren't touched by the
emotion. "Hello, Kaze. I'm Neena... you're Millie's surprise,
I take it?"

He nodded, Millie smiled, and Neena swallowed back the agony in her
heart. "That's wonderful," she whispered, then cleared her throat
and repeated it a bit louder. "You're...so lucky, Millie," hesitantly
the brunette stepped forward and settled her hands on the Millie's sloping
shoulders, gazing into her liquid eyes for a moment before kissing her
softly on the cheek.

Blonde strands tickled her nose, and Neena smiled, faintly as she stepped
away - her Millie still smelled like cinnamon and rain, and everything
sweet.

~~~~If I was beautiful like you I'd have so many friendsAll fighting for my time to be the next in lineSo if I hurt one I wouldn't have to make amends~~~~

At age 38, Neena Mercury smiled, but not all the time, because people
would think she was strange if she always grinned at all hours of every
day. She lived a life on her own - friends and relatives dropped
in, stayed a while, departed... She was the Godmother of Millie's first
daughter, and she frequently acted as a babysitter for the little girls
Canal and Kane had adopted. Rail was dead, had been dead for three years,
gone in a car crash in the blink of an eye - they had dated on and off,
but neither had wanted more than a friend and a promise of someone to lean
on. He had a son, who still came by every once in a while, who Neena
was teaching the politics behind the Universal Guardians. The girls
she had left behind in the Universal Guardians had filled her place, and
never came to visit, but it was alright. Neena had never liked them
much, anyway.

She was a teacher, taught the little ones how to read and write and
play fair.

She was happy in the little town, with her little nook. She wore
her hair in two short braids, and liked ribbons.

Her home smelled cinnamon and rain, and she bided her time, living the
way she had always wanted to live.

Now and then she had a visitor, a wealthy woman around her age with
blonde hair and sparkling eyes filled with laughter and love, now and then
they could be seen drinking tea in the undersized dining room, and just
once their lips met, and Neena was left completed.

Complete because she had a secret smile, and she would never have to
share.

~~~~That would never beThat would never, never be'cause I'm not beautiful like youI'm not beautiful like youI'm not beautiful like you.......I'm beautiful like me ......~~~~

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.