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Same-Sex Marriage is an Oxymoron

Please actually read article before forming opinion, and look up the word ‘oxymoron’ in the dictionary if you don’t know it. And yes, I know, this post will probably lose me all my blog readers, some because of the SSA, some because of the Christianity/Catholicism.

To me there are many amazing things about the same-sex faux marriage movement. How they got a gay community who considered themselves the opposite of bourgeois married people to fight to participate in the bourgeois institution is beyond me. I guess propaganda really can do anything.

The problem is that the word marriage has a meaning, and substitutions are not a given. A lawyer and client, in American law, have a special relationship. And yet a client cannot sue his ex-lawyer for alimony! A proctologist need not expect to be granted equal rights to perform risky brain surgery. And you cannot have a priest-penitent relationship with your plumber— even if he’s a really great plumber!

Marriage is the union of two unlike elements: a man and a woman. To say that the woman is disposable, and can be replaced by a second man without changing anything, is insulting to women. To say that the man is disposable and can be replaced by a second woman is insulting to men. Pairs of men or of women are different from man-woman couples, and it’s kind of heterosexist to say otherwise.

In the past the gay community firmly rejected the notion that gay persons should form imitation heterosexual married couples. Back before I became a Catholic, I once joined a Lesbian lonely hearts club and appalled them by referring to my desired future partner as a ‘wife.’ Though of course in even earlier times, the gay community divided each sex into ‘butch’ and ‘femme’, masculine and feminine, and all gay couples were supposed to consist of one masculine and one feminine partner.

The thing is, words have meanings and there are required elements. A lifeboat in a ship needs to be an item that will float. Baptism requires water and not, for example, a handful of sand. A book writer has to actually write a book. And a marriage has a man and a woman.

Think about this: suppose I were to write a book of Lesbian fiction about two women who were life-partners as well as partners in solving crimes. And in the very first story one of the women is killed. Would the story be just as Lesbian if the surviving woman married a man? Or does a Lesbian life-partnership require two women, with no substitutions possible?

One big difference between a married couple and members of a Gay life-partnership is that a man-woman married couple, if they are young enough and fertile enough, can experience the birth of children whether they want kids or not. No contraceptives work 100%, and I’ve even heard of cases where a woman went in for an abortion and came out still pregnant. In a Gay life-partnership, children not only don’t happen by accident, they must be planned for and paid for. And they must accept that they cannot become biological parents together, but only one at most can be biologically related to the child, and they must obtain sperm or ova from some human being who will be equally a biological parent with them. Gay men often need a woman to provide the egg, and a different woman to go through the pregnancy— and then they have to hope these women go away for good and don’t seek out a relationship with the child.

Of course, when I was connected with the Lesbian community, there were loads of rumors that science could make a baby from two women, but they wouldn’t, because sexism. A couple decades have passed, and I still haven’t heard of any two-mommy babies, and I’m coming to believe they didn’t know how to make them all this time after all. At any rate, hell will freeze over before poor Lesbians will be able to afford custom-concieved two-mommy babies.

At any rate, this is reality: marriage requires a man and a woman the same way homicide requires a victim and a killer and Lesbian coupledom requires two Lesbians. And people who don’t like to accept realities like that are just not my problem.

As I have revealed in the article above, I am a woman with Same-Sex Attraction (SSA, Lesbian orientation) and I am also a Catholic convert who supports the teaching of the Church. If you are a homophobe or a Catholic-hater, you probably shouldn’t have read this blog post. Comments with homophobic or anti-Catholic hate are not published but will be laughed at. Civil comments, supportive and dissenting, are welcomed.

I have a pro-marriage Facebook page, and a pro-marriage MeWe group. You are welcome to join either or both if you also support marriage (Man & Woman.)

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2 thoughts on “Same-Sex Marriage is an Oxymoron”

No bashing but lots of disagreement here. I’m technically Catholic who agrees with teachings of the Church in theory but not always in application. I’m not lesbian and not really attracted to one more than the other. To me that kind of thing has always been one of those things you do (get involved with people) because you’re supposed to. On that level, marriage has never made a whole lot of sense to me apart from rules.

I don’t think marriage in the complementary (male+female=fertility) sense as defined by natural law/the Roman Catholic Church is a fair way to address the needs of modern-day homosexual (or bisexual!) persons.

Also, historically, I do not believe it is accurate to say “marriage” has always been “defined” in this way. And that’s a much longer discussion. Do we mean marriage in the biblical (Semitic->European) sense or do we mean this in every possible culture in the world? Historically, many cultures don’t believe in marriage in any sense that we would recognize. Some cultures also recognize / have recognized prostitutes and concubines and homosexual partnerships in a sense, but in a different sense from marriage from men and women. In many cases, these relationships have been what we’d recognize as exploitative but nonetheless official with definitive guidelines.

If the Church is going to do this right, if we’re going to bring the love of God into the world, then we need to appreciate that this will look very different to different people in different situations. Trying to straightjacket the world into male+female only marital relationships is just problematic. The problems we’re encountering are what happens when for example a guy and another guy or a woman and a woman fall in love and say simply I would like the same acknowledgment, the same legal rights as if we were of opposite genders.

Whether that same person (bisexual) would suddenly be okay if they married someone of the opposite gender is not really relevant to the basic question of human need. I also want to note that the procreation-only argument for same-sex marriage is no longer the final word on the subject even in Catholic theological circles. Even in Humanae Vitae for example, the Church acknowledges that procreation is one factor but so is the *complementarity* and mutual enjoyment of the couples. I’ve also found the argument that *procreation* is a necessary piece of this complementarity to be somewhat lacking. People can have a full and loving relationship without that, or without sharing interests, or while having different political beliefs, or (insert “necessary” difference/sameness here). Who am I to judge someone else’s relationship?

That’s my thought on this. I should point out I have an M.A. in theology and sexuality and marriage and procreation as related to the bodily resurrection was the topic of my M.A. thesis. 🙂 I could recommend a lot of readings on this subject if you’re interested in the theological angle – and also the social one. I have so much thoughts on this subject. 🙂 Sorry for the TLDR.

Nissa Annakindt: Poet, Aspie & cat person

I share what I know— be warned! My opinions on politics and religion are loudly proclaimed here from time to time. (‘Deplorable’ & Catholic, respectively. I also have Same-Sex Attraction, which I handle with chastity.)

I welcome civil comments but can’t always reply as I’m over-busy & also because I have an autism spectrum disorder and social interaction’s not what I’m good at.

Nissa Annakindt

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