Gary Brown: Practice your Super Bowl party etiquette

Tuesday

Jan 29, 2008 at 12:01 AMJan 29, 2008 at 1:44 AM

Here are tips for how to properly attend a Super Bowl party Sunday.

Gary Brown

Here are tips for how to properly attend a Super Bowl party Sunday:

First, bring beer. Super Bowl Sunday is nearly dependent upon beer. It can be domestic beer. It doesn’t even have to be good domestic beer. You just need to show up with something other than your coat to hand to the host.

Then, during the game, if you happen to spot your brand of beer advertised on television, hold your bottle aloft a little longer than the normal time needed to take a sip, as if to indicate, “Hey, am I a trendy, with-it, happening kind of guy, or what?” Try not to actually say that, however. It destroys the illusion.
Timing is Everything
Second, show up at 5.
Super Bowl XLII doesn’t start until after 6 p.m. Unless you’re planning to help cook the chili, give the hosts time to shower.
Sure, highlights of the first XLI Super Bowls probably will begin at about 3 in the morning. And Fox coverage of the game will start at 9 a.m. with a live news program from Glendale, Ariz. Then, at noon, Fox will air its “Road to the Super Bowl,” followed by a look at past Super Bowl quarterbacks at 1 p.m. Finally, at 2 p.m., the network’s pre-game programming will begin to build excitement for the game by capturing the inside of an empty stadium for about four hours.
So it may seem like you can just show up at the party any time. But, I’ve checked with sources at ESPN and Emily Post. Anytime is not noon.
Third, don’t be funny.
Try to pick your squares in the party’s Super Bowl pool without using the joke, “I’m going to wait until everybody else places their bets, so I can make sure nobody’s an undercover cop ... .” You said that last year.
Fourth, refrain from talking during the game.
Don’t talk during the commercials, either. They’re the best part.
And shut up during the halftime show. People are going to try to watch Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
By all means, have fun. A Super Bowl party is, after all, a social occasion.
But be quiet about it. A successful guest at a Super Bowl party will be remembered for nothing more than jumping up in the third quarter when his favorite team scores, and shouting “THAT’S what I’m talking about!”
Knowing When
Fifth, conform to the preset party schedule.
When the host tells everybody to find a seat in the family room, put butt to couch cushion. After the hostess announces that the food is being served at the buffet table, belly up to it. Any delay can put them off schedule, and, face it, ever since the red wine was spilled on a white carpet during the first quarter, the primary concern has been getting everybody out of the house before midnight.
Reach Canton Repository Living Section Editor Gary Brown at (330) 580-8303 or gary.brown@cantonrep.com.