Wednesday, April 14, 2010

For all you millions of OPEN ALL NIGHT fans...

Here's a portion of one of the scripts my partner David Isaacs and I wrote for OPEN ALL NIGHT. Wish I had the video to post but this will give you some idea of the short-lived ABC series that has become a cult classic. Or... at least a few people still remember it. I recently posted some examples including the theme song.

OPEN ALL NIGHT was set in a 24 hour convenience store and was very edgy for an 80s sitcom. We were encouraged to be a little bizarre. The creators and show runners (Tom Patchett & Jay Tarses) oversaw the best years of THE BOB NEWHART SHOW and created BUFFALO BILL among other credits. Individually, Tom created ALF; Jay created THE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF MOLLY DODD. Ironically, they’re both the same show.

George Dzundza played Gordon, Susan Tyrrell played Gretchen, and the punker was played by David Paymer (pictured) who went on to a very successful screen career (based solely on this guest starring appearance I'm sure).

So here’s an example of OPEN ALL NIGHT.

INT. 364 STORE – NIGHT

HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS ARE UP. GORDON AND GRETCHEN MAN THE COUNTER. A TEENAGE BOY IS BLASTING AWAY AT ASTEROIDS ON ONE OF THOSE ELECTRONIC GAMES RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS COUNTRY’S SHORTAGE OF QUARTERS.

PUNKER: This isn't a costume. But later I'm going as Dudley Moore. (then) You guys got anything you want here, right?

GORON: You name it, we’ve got it.

PUNKER: I’d like some Astro-turf.

GORDON: (snapping his fingers) Just sold the last hundred yards.

PUNKER: You got “Les Miserables” on video cassette?

GORDON: Expecting a shipment tomorrow.

PUNKER: How ‘bout some kitty litter?

GORDON: That I got.

PUNKER: Well, at least we eat.

GORDON: (after a beat) I’ll get it. You just stay here in the light. (crosses to Gretchen) I’ll be in the back for a second. Keep an eye on him. He’s perfectly safe. He’s near death.

GRETCHEN: Okay. Hurry.

GORDON EXITS INTO THE BACK ROOM. THE PUNKER APPROACHES THE REGISTER AND JUST STARES AT THE NERVOUS GRETCHEN.

GRETCHEN: (eyes closed) Can I get you something else?

PUNKER: I’d like a pumpkin gurgle.

GRETCHEN: Small or large?

PUNKER: Small. I just want to freeze my nose.

AS GRETCHEN WORKS THE MACHINE, ANOTHER CUSTOMER ENTERS, IN HIS LATE TWENTIES, DRESSED IN A FATIGUE JACKET. HE’S UNKEMPT BUT NOWHERE NEAR AS WEIRD-LOOKING AS THE PUNKER. GRETCHEN IS VERY RELIEVED TO SEE HIM.

GRETCHEN: What can I do for you?

THE CUSTOMER STEPS UP TO THE COUNTER, PUTS HIS HAND IN HIS POCKET, AND SHOVES IT OUT AS IF CARRYING A GUN.

Friday question, Ken...when you're pitching a show, how many times does a studio call you back so you can work up the chain to finally pitch to the people who can buy in the room? What's the worst note you ever got?

(In book publishing we first pitch to Idiot Jimmy the Unpaid Summer Intern as he goes through the slush pile armed only with a high school english class and the aspiration to become a MFA knob.)

Friday Question: how many table reads are there on a sitcom, and how animated are they? Is there a lot of laughing? Is laughing/not laughing a political thing? (Any other general thoughts on table reads appreciated.)

About KEN LEVINE

Named one of the BEST 25 BLOGS by TIME Magazine. Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created three series. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres. and Dodger Talk. He hosts the podcast HOLLYWOOD & LEVINE

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