armyowalgreens (1000+ posts) Sat Aug-01-09 06:06 AM
Original message
A 35 year old alcoholic, sexaholic, suicidal, abused mother asked me for legal advice today...
She's a coworker. She is constantly talking about sex. And when she isn't talking about sex, she is talking about alcohol or popping pills or attempting suicide. At first I thought she was just some creepy chick because she was constantly trying to get me to drink with her. Apparently she is notorious for seeking out "younger guys"... None the less, I kept a cordial relationship because I feel bad for people with such a destructive lifestyle. Plus I can relate to the depression and suicidal tendencies.

Keep in mind, I have no experience in legal matters. I haven't even been "legal" for two years yet. Apparently she overheard me discussing politics a few times at work and assumed I was some sort of attorney. I explained to her that I could provide very little help in legal matters, but would try my best.

Her first attempt at explaining herself went something like this:

"I know this guy who is an illegal alien, who was charged with domestic violence. Will he be deported if he goes to court? And would it be better if he just fled the country now?"

I thought about it for a second and explained that, if he is found guilty, he would likely serve time in the US system and then most likely be deported upon his release. But I emphasized the fact that I can only guess at what would actually take place. So I then went on to explain that if he fled the country, they would probably put out an arrest warrant within the United States and any future attempts at going for legal citizenship in the US would be very challenging for him with such a record.

But I was becoming increasingly interested in why she was asking these questions? Who the hell was this guy she is talking about?

A little later, she said that she had another question for me.

"So lets say that this guy was wrongly arrested for domestic violence. The 'victim' was very drunk at the time and there may have been a fight where both were responsible."

I was starting to connect the dots. I asked what happened during the fight that caused the police to come out and arrest the guy for domestic violence.

"Well, during the fight, he had tied the other person up with wire and there were marks. So the police arrested him. But really, the two people were just fighting. And the 'victim' feels bad that the guy was arrested. She wants to drop the charges. And without other witnesses, wouldn't the guy get off the hook?"

That doesn't sound like the other person put up much of a fight. I explained that the victim can drop the charges but that the state can press charges independently. Especially if there is clear physical evidence of the crime. But I again emphasized that this advice is coming from a 19 year old undergrad. The odds of me actually having accurate legal advice were low. I told her that the "victim" should really seek legal advice from a lawyer. So I went back to work because this entire situation was becoming a little too weird for me.

A little later, she cornered me in the break area.

She started ranting. She was the woman and her boyfriend was the guy arrested for domestic violence. Apparently she was really drunk that night, like every other night, and they "got in a fight." She doesn't want to drop the charges because she's scared that the court will find out she was drunk that night and take away...

her kid. She has a kid. In fact, she has 4 kids. All from different fathers. All but one have been taken away by CPS and placed in the custody of someone else.

She explained to me that the three kids were taken away because she got in a car accident, while intoxicated, with a kid in the car. She did time for child endangerment and obviously the DUI.

I told her that she needs to get help and that it doesn't sound like there is a safe environment for her one remaining kid. I explained that, in all honesty, it doesn't sound like she deserves the kid and if she actually cared about it, she would give up custody until she got straight.

I also told her that it sounds like she was physically abused by her boyfriend and that, whatever happened that night, it was not a fair fight.

She told me that she understands all that. She said that she's been in treatment programs before but they don't help. She said that she likes drinking and doesn't want to stop.

I told her that she will either eventually lose custody of the kid or something bad is going to happen and that she had the ability to control the outcome.

I swear, I don't know why disturbed individuals flock to me, but it makes my life very interesting. I also don't know why I posted this, but the story was so messed up that I felt like someone needed to hear about it. More than likely, this mom is going to do nothing to change the situation.

I'm thinking about contacting CPS on my own. But I'm not sure if that is a good idea.

This guy(armyowalgreens) is always coming up with these stories. I honestly don't know what to think of him!

Rockntractor

08-02-2009, 01:51 AM

Honeycombe8 (1000+ posts) Sat Aug-01-09 07:32 AM
Response to Reply #12
23. Ditto. Do your duty re the child, now that you've obtained information about that. Then run like
Then run like hell from that woman. She is clearly messed up and will drag you in on her continuing losing dramas, as long as you let her.

You can't fix her. She's not a relative. She has self-inflicted serious problems. She's an adult who knows she needs to be in rehab. I suspect her whole life has been self-destructive and may continue to be.

I'm sure you have other things you need to focus on in your life. Keep your eye on the ball, and don't let others drag you into their losing situations. You're practically a kid yourself and ill-equipped to help someone with such serious problems. Also, once the boyfriend finds out about you, you could get into danger yourself.

But report to CPS about the child, now that you have information about that. It's a duty. Then do your best to quit having conversations with her about her life. You are there to WORK.

cali (1000+ posts) Sat Aug-01-09 06:23 AM
Response to Original message
7. The reason disturbed individuals "flock" to you is plain as the nose on your face:
You engage. In fact, judging from this story you over engage to a pretty extreme degree.

Contacting CPS is a big deal. Think it over carefully. And learn how to (kindly) disengage people like this woman.
Alert

armyowalgreens (1000+ posts) Sat Aug-01-09 06:28 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. Yeah, I am often overcurious. I guess that makes sense...
I tend to get in too deep, and then I have no clue how to back out. I just hate being just another person who doesn't give a shit about peoples problems.
It is a soap opera over there!

Teetop

08-02-2009, 02:08 AM

:mad:

This bouncy, like most others lately, SUCK!

Not even a "So" in this one.

No bushes, cops or conversions. :(

DUmmies bouncies suck these days....

But, what gets me is, legal advice from a moonbat? :confused:

Rockntractor

08-02-2009, 02:21 AM

:mad:

This bouncy, like most others lately, SUCK!

Not even a "So" in this one.

No bushes, cops or conversions. :(

DUmmies bouncies suck these days....

But, what gets me is, legal advice from a moonbat? :confused:
It's better than nothing. Some days we have to settle for crumbs. The bouncies have been few and far between over there because people have been calling them out on them!

FlaGator

08-02-2009, 08:48 AM

None the less, I kept a cordial relationship because I feel bad for people with such a destructive lifestyle. Plus I can relate to the depression and suicidal tendencies.

If he feels bad for people with destructive life styles no wonder he has suicidal tendencies. He hangs out on DU the home of destructive lifestyles.

Dan D. Doty

08-02-2009, 10:28 AM

If he feels bad for people with destructive life styles no wonder he has suicidal tendencies. He hangs out on DU the home of destructive lifestyles.

This bercause the average Moonbat has to have crisis in their lives, or they'll feel empty.

My guess this woman didn't seek him out, he went looking for her so he could " fix " things.

And he's only going to give her advice that makes him feel good, not something that really helps.

BadCat

08-02-2009, 10:46 AM

He's 18 and serves pancakes in a Village Inn.
I'm just sure everybody seeks him out for his worldly advice.

Rockntractor

08-02-2009, 11:42 AM

He's 18 and serves pancakes in a Village Inn.
I'm just sure everybody seeks him out for his worldly advice.

Which is smarter an old moonbat liberal or a young moonbat liberal? Would not the young one have accumulated less moonbattery?