Being Present: Can Trapped Grief Stop Someone From Being Present?

If one is into fashion, they will know that the current trend will soon change and end up being replaced by another trend. And while this could be a new trend, it could also be one that was around in the past.

So upon reflection, one could say that fashion is like the weather as it is constantly changing. Yet even though it does change, there are only so many variations available. There is then a wide range of possibilities, but certain guidelines will need to be followed.

Stimulation

However, if there were no trends and everything stayed the same, the mind would soon start to play up. New trends then provide the stimulation that the mind needs to keep boredom at bay.

It is also a form ofcreativity, as it gives one to chance to wear clothes that reflect how they see themselves. One’s inner world can also change like the weather, and this can cause them to wear different things.

The Cycle

Fashion and the weather are two examples of how life goes in a cycle and there are many others. And while these changes can take place in a relatively short period of time, they can also take a long longer to appear.

When it comes to what one can do to develop themselves, there are things that come and go. At one point in time, it might be all about one doing a certain thing and at another, it can be about something else.

In The Background

Yet, just because something comes and goes in one culture, it doesn’t mean that this is the case for every culture on the planet. It is then similar how one some people always wear the same type of clothes or how some countries have seasons and others have the same weather all year round.

In the west for example,meditationhas become increasingly popular as time has passed and it has gone from something that was in the background, to the something that is now in the foreground. While it is relatively new in the west, it is something that has been used in the east for thousands of years.

For some people,meditationis a way for them to settle their mind down and for others; it is a way for them to connect with themselves or their ‘high self’. And as one’s mind settles down, it will be easier for them to live in the moment, as opposed to getting caught up in the past or the future.

Meditationis an important part of the current trend in self-development; which is all about being present. It is said that one’s point of power is in the present moment and this is where their attention should be.

The Right Outlook

Now, if one was to think about their past or to think about their future for a short time, they would soon realise that they lose touch with the present moment. And while there will be times when this will be the right thing for them to do, it is going to have a negative effect on their life if this is a common occurrence.

This is because it is what one does in each moment that will define their life. What happened in the past can influence what they will do in each moment, but one has a choice as to how it does affect them. Just as what happens in the future will also depend on what they do now.

One Approach

So if one finds it difficult to live in the moment, it will be important for them to do what they can to change this. When one meditates or just detaches from what is taking place, they are likely to be focused on their thoughts.

One’s point of focus is their mind and what is taking place in their body could end up being overlooked. Perhaps one has no awareness of their body or they might believe that it is all in their mind.

Two Way Traffic

However, even though one's mind is often seen as the problem, it might be due to what is taking place in their body that is stopping them from being present. This is because what is going in one’s mind can be a reflection of what is going on in their body.

It can then be important for one to get in touch with their feelings and to put their thoughts to one side. As this takes place, one can start to gain a better understanding of why it is a challenge for them to be present.

The Past

When one‘s mind is caught up in the past, it can be a way for them to avoid how they feel in their body. Thinking about the past or the future is then taking them away from the present moment and it is also stopping them from having to experience the pain that is within them.

In this case, thinking is then a defence mechanism that they are using to regulate how they feel. On one side, they are protecting themselves from the pain that is within them and on the other; they are losing their point of power.

If one didn’t have this pain in their body, they would be able to be in their body and this would allow them to be present. One form of pain that one can end up trying to avoid is what occurs when they experience some kind of loss in their life.

This could relate to the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, a pet or it could go back to a childhood loss. After one experiences a loss, it will be important for them to grieve in order to move on. As to how long this will take can vary from person to person and it is rarely a linear process.

Stuck

However, while this is the ideal, it doesn’t always take place and one can end up getting stuck. One can then disconnect from theirgriefas a way to avoid the pain and although this will cause them to lose touch with how they feel, it won’t enable them to embrace the present moment.

Instead, their mind can end up getting caught up in the past and create all kinds of thoughts. One could end up thinking about how they can change what happened or what they could have done to avoid what took place.

Awareness

If one has experienced loss and hasn’t been able to grieve, it will be normal for them to leave their body and to get stuck in their mind. In order for one to grieve what they have lost, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist, healer and/or a support group.

Author's Bio:

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."