The top list was reset on Saturday, so Theater Hopper is no longer in the Top 10. To help motivate you a little bit, I’ve added this handy dynamic graphic that tells you EXACTLY where we stand.

Since you guys went all of last week without an incentive sketch, I wanted to make today’s offering extra special. So I drew a picture of a dog with my head on it. I figure it’s just surreal enough to believe. Check it out!

I plan on talking about Van Helsing all this week, so buckle up. I find the film very polarizing (as illustrated in today’s comic) and rich for mining comic-wise.

I think the premise is good. Take Dracula’s resident monster-killer Van Helsing and put him on the tails of other Universal Studio owned creepy crawlies like Frankenstein and The Wolf Man. If it’s a hit, he can go off to kill The Mummy or The Creature From The Black Lagoon! Really, the possibilities are endless.

But I cringe when I’m reminded that Stephan Sommers is the director. I know a lot of people liked The Mummy and The Mummy Returns (the first one at the VERY least), but as good as some of his shots look effect-wise, his movies lack any real creative soul. I look at all his spectacle splashed across the screen and think “HACK!” I hope Van Helsing proves me wrong. Hugh Jackman is too interesting an action hero to do him wrong.

For those of you who ordered t-shirts, I placed my order with Brunetto over the weekend. No E.T.A. on when they’ll be shipped, but I would like to think by the end of the month.

For those of you who missed the first round of pre-orders, the shirt is still available for those who would like to pre-order by May 31st. At that time, I’ll send out for another batch. I’m sorry that there isn’t a better system for me to utilize, but I can’t afford to sit on a bunch of product that may or may not sell. Pre-orders are the best way for me to produce shirts that I KNOW I’ll get paid for!

Today’s comic springs from truth, to a degree. It was actually ME who was in Toys R’ Us this weekend when I spotted this handsome fellow – a 12″ Deluxe Van Helsing figure. Not sure what’s going on with that expression. He looks a little more constipated rather than ready to vanquish evil.

Anyway, I saw this figure and I was trying to imagine who is buying them? The idea of Cami buying one for herself to swoon over was too funny to pass up. Combing its hair like a Barbie? C’mon!

If I recall correctly, Cami’s not much of a Hugh Jackman fan in real life. It’s understandable since her only context of the thespian is as Wolverine in the X-Men movies, which she doesn’t much care for. Getting her to see Van Helsing this weekend could be tricky, but I think the lure of an “event” movie will be enough to circumnavigate any hesitation.

Is it just me, or do these “summer” blockbusters seem to be coming earlier each year? If you went by Hollywood’s clock, summer starts sometime at the end of April. They must share the same timetable as the shopping malls that start celebrating Christmas in October.

That’s all for now. I’m tired. Like “dark-circles-under-my-eyes-since-5:00-P.M.” tired.

So today’s the big day. The kick off to the summer blockbuster season. Van Helsing is in theaters today. And I’m really torn because that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie comes out today, too!

Of course I’m kidding.

Practically everyone I’ve talked to says they’re going to see Van Helsing this weekend, which tells me that marketing did their job of bombarding us with advertisements. Good job, Madison Avenue!

But although I know a lot of people are going, not many of them seem to be excited about it. People are really holding their breath on this one, hoping it doesn’t suck. There’s a lot of weight on Hugh Jackman’s shoulders here. This is his first lead role.

I think we all recognize that Van Helsing will be a loud, abrasive, CG-heavy big, dumb action movie. And while the promise of seeing Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and The Wolfman in one picture at the same time is daring enough premise to grab our attention, I think the real reason butts will be in seats this weekend is to decide if Jackman’s charisma is large enough to carry this picture.

My odds are split down the middle – 50/50.

By the way, you might be wondering who that grinning buffoon is in the background of panel one? Well, that is our good friend MadMup who is a forum regular. He asked to be put in the comic, so I decided to oblige him!

Mup’s a great guy and a fantastic supporter of the comic. It was really the least I could do.

* THE REST OF THIS BLOG POST WAS LOST WHEN THEATER HOPPER MOVED TO WORDPRESS IN 2009 *

Cami and I had a really busy weekend, we barely had time to rest. Between driving two hours and back to Cedar Falls to watch my sister-in-law graduate from college on Saturday (by the way, thanks for dog-sitting Jared!) and doing the Mother’s Day thing on Sunday, it seems like we were coming and going every which way! Don’t even get me STARTED about the Survivor All-Stars finale!

But amidst all the chaos, we were able to sneak into Van Helsing. Well, not literally. We paid for our tickets and leant our dollar to Helsing’s $54 million take this weekend.

What did I think of the movie? Well, the comic addresses it for the most part. If you can suspend disbelief, you’ll have a grand old time. Of course, I don’t know how many people are going into movies that feature Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and The Wolf Man looking for high drama. Richard Roxburgh’s performance as Dracula early in the film sets the tone for what’s to follow. “Over-the-top” does not begin to describe it. Both Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones would have trouble keeping up with all the scene-chewing Roxburgh aspires to.

The film did little to change my opinion of Stephen Sommers or Kate Beckinsale. I still hate them both. But I walked out with greater esteem for Hugh Jackman. He’s really carving a niche in the action genre. The man just sells it.

I think fans of the classic Universal monsters won’t be grossly offended by the updates. The Wolf Man probably gets the most noticeable upgrade. Dracula loses a lot of his mysterious sex appeal as they try to graft some kind of occult-scientist persona onto him. Although he looks ridiculous (too many appliances attached to the body), Shuler Hensley as Frankenstein’s Monster probably comes off the best.

If you’d read reviews, pretty much all the criticisms are true. The movie is RELENTLESSLY loud. Sommers doesn’t give his audience a minute to catch their breath or process what they’ve seen. There is always something either flying at them, whizzing by or stomping about – the soundtrack the key offender among them.

Sommers is also highly derivative in his visual style. There are constant nods and outright thefts of other films. The Lion King, the James Bond franchise, Indiana Jones, Spider-Man – even Jackman’s performance as Wolverine in the X-Men films gets a nod.

The movie relies greatly on computer generated effects. I joked with Cami that probably 10% of the movie was actually filmed and the rest was a computer construct. CG is fine and dandy as an enhancement tool, but not when the majority of the action requires it. Giant battles with monsters that don’t exist carry no weight. You don’t care that someone is being thrown through a wall because, underneath it all, you know there is no real danger. You end up checking your watch and waiting to see who comes out on top.

But despite all its obvious flaws (and despite my better judgment), I think I had fun at this movie. Probably because my expectations were low. Sure my IQ may have dropped a couple of points, but that’s all part of a stupid Hollywood popcorn flick.

Will I see Van Helsing again? Probably not. I doubt if I will even rent it on video. But if you’re remotely curious, I suggest looking into it. Just suspend disbelief at the door!

So we’re onto part three of our little “Suspension of Disbelief” storyline. Are you enjoying it so far? I know this is kind of outside what I normally do, but it’s nice not to try and come up with a joke at the last minute before strip day. Believe me, some of those comics in the archive reflect that poor planning.

The only problem with doing a more drawn-out story is that I can’t be as timely as I want to be. Troy comes out today and Shrek 2 hits theaters next Wednesday. I guess I’ll have to catch those flicks on the rebound if I want to make fun of them in the comic.

Cami has no interest in seeing Troy and I have to admit I’m not that psyched about it, either. The cast is impressive – Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Peter O’Toole (and directed by Wolfgang Peterson). But frankly, after Gladiator won that Best Picture Oscar in 2001 over Traffic, I’ve kind of lost interest in the “swords and sandals” epics… Best of luck recuperating that $200 million dollar budget, though!

Be sure to check out the forum. We’re playing out weekly community game – The Friday Five. I ask everyone the same five questions. You answer them. Simple really. If you’re not a member of the forum community, now is a good time to check it out. The Friday Five is a really easy way to get to know everyone quickly!

I also want to take time to point out our latest sponsor, Who Gives A Shirt? – quite possibly the greatest name for a small business I’ve yet to come across. If you haven’t guessed already, they specialize in apparel. If you mention Theater Hopper in your order, you’ll get a special discount! How big of a discount? Click on the link to find out!

I also want to say thank you to all the individuals who have been buying advertising, merchandise and especially those who have been donating in an effort to help me boost my Wizard World Chicago Fund. The little status bar I have there really isn’t as pathetic as it looks. I’ll probably updated it sometime later this afternoon.

I spoke to Mitch Clem of Nothing Nice to Say and Barrett’s Lament. He’ll be at Wizard World Chicago as well. We’re trying to arrange it so we can have our booths next to each other on Artist’s Alley. It’s a pretty big event they’re organizing, so we’ll see how that pans out. If that doesn’t work, there’s always the Minneapolis FallCon – which I plan on returning to this year AND I plan on taking more pictures!

That’s about it for now. Have a great weekend! See you here Monday for the continuation of our story!