Miller: Game takes back seat on Super Bowl Media Day

Jan. 29, 2013

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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Michael Wilhoite of the San Francisco 49ers yells as he answers questions from the media during Super Bowl XLVII Media Day ahead of Super Bowl XLVII at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome on Tuesday in New Orleans, Louisiana. CHRIS GRAYTHEN, GETTY IMAGES

Fans were allowed in the stands during Media Day for a nominal charge, and this refugee from Mardi Gras was making sure she was being noticed during the Baltimore Ravens portion of Media Day at the Mercedes Benz Super Dome in New Orleans, Louisiana, Tuesday. GENE SWEENEY JR., MCT

Michael Wilhoite of the San Francisco 49ers yells as he answers questions from the media during Super Bowl XLVII Media Day ahead of Super Bowl XLVII at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome on Tuesday in New Orleans, Louisiana. CHRIS GRAYTHEN, GETTY IMAGES

NEW ORLEANS – There's one reporter wearing a black mask, black tights and an orange cape.

Another is in lederhosen, trying to teach one of Baltimore's players German.

A third is dressed as a referee and a fourth as the king of Mardi Gras. Los Angeles' very own Vic "The Brick" Jacobs has donned a furry hat, leather boots and gaudy breastplate and proclaims himself to be "the Super Bowl samurai."

All this circus lacks now is a clown. Oh, wait. There's a reporter from TV Azteca wearing a painted face, big red nose and multi-colored wig.

But there's also Baltimore linebacker Terrell Suggs, seated at a podium, singing opera, setting up a camera to record the media that is recording him and quoting one Ron Artest – "I wanna thank my therapist."

Folks, this is Super Bowl Media Day, the single silliest, most frivolous event every year on sports journalism's calendar. And that includes the ESPY awards.

"This week of annual wretched excess is decorated with enough absurdity to make any resemblance to the game that was played in other eras pure coincidence."

This description was penned by the late, great Shelby Strother...in 1988! Before Super Bowl XXII! No kidding, people, XXV Super Bowls ago!

Imagine what Shelby would write today as he witnesses a reporter from Univision asking John Harbaugh very serious questions about his brother, Jim, even as he – the reporter, not the Ravens' head coach – is wearing a wrestling mask.

They even sell tickets to this event now and fans – thousands of them, no less – pay $25 apiece Tuesday to sit in the stands and watch people talk.

Of course, they can't hear much of what is being said, including the reporter who asks San Francisco's Garrett Celek to name Beyonce's husband and the receiver answers, "I don't watch much TV."

There are no scoops at Media Day, not when the NFL has credentialed 5,205 people to cover this game. Every player is a story here, meaning everyone is interviewed, by reporter after reporter, arriving wave after wave, typically asking the same five or six questions.

At this very moment, there are half a dozen people around one of the 49ers who is saying, "I just hope I don't get in the game Sunday." Interviewing someone who doesn't want to play in the Super Bowl? OK, so it's Andy Lee, San Francisco's punter, but still...

Later, another group of reporters will encircle Baltimore's Jah Reid, who definitely won't play Sunday. His right big toe was surgically repaired and he can't walk without crutches.

Yeah, this thing – Media Day, not poor Jah's big toe – has swelled beyond recognition. It was in the late 1980s that a little-known special teams player for the 49ers, Sam Kennedy, charged reporters a quarter per interview. He finished the week with less than $2.

But now? Here is one of the Ravens sitting down behind his raised podium, sighing deeply and muttering, "OK, let's get this over with."

The Raven in question is named Marshal Yanda and, to borrow a local phrase, "Who dat?" Yanda apparently is a lineman, and why an offensive guard from eastern Iowa would appear burdened by his media demands is rather comical.

But comical is what this day is all about.

"When you look at the Ravens, they do football proud," Harbaugh is saying now. "The NFL should be proud of the Ravens."

And at that very moment, reserve running back Anthony Allen is wearing a purple wig and dancing for the cameras.

For what it's worth – and we wouldn't alter our betting strategy because of it – the Ravens certainly are the more playful bunch Tuesday.

By the way, thanks to the all-encompassing magic of Media Day, we can report that Suggs does know who is married to Beyonce.

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