Hurricane insight into Lindsay Lohan

They’re bracing for a serious storm on the northeastern seaboard. Sandy could be one of the most catastrophic events in history. President Obama just addressed his nation, urging caution and pledging support. 67 deaths have already been reported in the Caribbean. As many as 50 million people could be affected. Flooding has already started and we’re still hours from landfall. Please take care.

But, you know, according to that worthless dick Lindsay Lohan, the reaction has been overblown. And, you know, all you need is positive energy. Yes. That’ll stop the surges. That’ll make a difference when people lose their homes. Here’s what she tweeted last night:

WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i'm calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace.

...as she cuts a fresh line and snorts it into her face, safe and sound, surrounded by “Chanel, Hermes and diamonds”.

Of course.

Of course Lindsay Lohan would equate preparation, in the face of a natural disaster, with “freaking out”, suggesting it’s a waste of time. That pretty much defines her career and her work ethic. Why would anyone go to the trouble of protecting themselves, making sure they’re ready, doing whatever they can, TRYING THEIR BEST? Is there a downside to over-preparing when there’s a deadly storm f-cking around?

Well, it’s certainly not in line with the Lohan value system, is it?

What is the Lohan value system? Again, absurdly, and this is her favourite word, her Twitter gives us insight:

You have to LOVE yourself before you can love anyone else. i mean... then Diamonds will love you back with Harry Winston's support

And she is very, very good at loving herself. This is not a girl consumed by self-hatred. Lindsay Lohan’s problems are rooted in an abundance of self-LOVE, narcissism, and entitlement. Believe me, she believes in herself enough for all of us.