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My husband has a baby with another woman **EDIT** **EDIT**

I just found out today that my soon-to-be-ex husband has a child with another woman. Him and this woman dated for about two months in the spring of last year. She contacted me a few months ago saying she was pregnant by him and that she didnt want him to know(they had split by this time). I didnt really believe her. Well, today she contacts me and tells me that she had the baby this morning. She sent me a pic. Needless to say, the baby looks just like my kids. She said that now she does not care wether he knows that its his baby or not. I dont know what to do. I have four kids with this asshole. They are 5, 6, 7, and 6 months. How the hell do I tell my kids that they have a baby sister? And that I dont know if they can see her or not. I told him that he needs to explain it because it is not my deal. I am not the parent to this baby. He said that he only cares what his new girlfriend thinks and not anyone else and that he will explain it to the kids "when they are old enough to understand". WHAT SHOULD I DO???

EDIT

She wants the baby to have a relationship with my kids. I have contacted a divorce lawyer, but I havent had a chance to let her know about this yet. This woman and baby live VERY close to me and my kids. My kids will see this baby somewhere eventually, then what? BTW the asshole says the baby isnt his (which he said about all four of mine till the dna tests came back)

EDIT #2

He demanded dna tests after baby number 4 was born. I left him when I was pregnant with her. After she was born I filed for CS. The asshole wanted dna tests to "make sure they were his kids"

I actually had a couple friends I met in freshman year of college that found out after dating for a year (school year, they are a year ahead of me) that they were actually siblings. They decided to have their parents meet when they came to get them at the end of the year and SURPRISE!!! Her dear daddy gets out of the car and her bf says "What are you doing here, dad?!" She said they all just stood there verrrrrry awkwardly for a few minutes. Luckily, they hadn't slept together yet (as they were planning on doing over the summer...school schedules hadn't allowed that kind of privacy in the dorms lol...) but still...can you imagine meeting and falling in love with a person who just seems so perfect because they "get you" only to find out "Oh hey....that's your sibling..."

Quoting Mommyoffour456:

THAT is EXACTLY what I am worried about. I have two girls and two boys. My ex is probably the biggest whore in the tri county area. Two of my cousins have met siblings IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL that they never knew about!!

Quoting RandiBear:

Since he doesn't care I would contact her back and ask her if she would like her child to grow up knowing her sisters/brothers...if you're okay with them meeting this young, that is. I think children should know their siblings, even if it's under these circumstances. I was always nervous dating as a teen because I never knew for sure if the boy I was talking to was one of my dad's kids (he was a cross-country trucker and a bit of a man-whore lol) and I always thought "Could I be dating my half brother?!"

I think he's an asshole for cheating and having a child with someone else while he was with you. However if I were in your shoes I would let my kids have a relationship with their sister. Children dont ask to be created or born. They deserve to have a relationship with eachother but I wouldn't go through him I would go through her BUT thats just me

The only bad choice I made was getting with him in the first place. I should have been clearer in my OP, he demanded dna tests AFTER baby nmber four was born, not before.

Quoting Flobrooks:

This fool you were married to demanded DNA tests for your kids and you still had four. I would have kicked his butt out the first time he wanted a test for the first kid, yet you had three more. Be sure you get a good child support order with the divorce, and contact the courts every time he misses a payment. He needs to be neutered, five kids already. Yours came first, others get the leftovers, they can blame their Moms for making bad decisions.

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