Toppling Gods and Hiding Under the Blankets

Canines

Here’s some lovely BRAND SPANKIN NEW flash fiction for ya. This is based on a writing prompt taken from Reddit, using the “Random” button on writing prompts. Thanks to /u/KleverGuy.

“Oh, this is bad,” said Archibald, running a clawed finger through his mouth. “Oh, this is so very bad.”

It’s not very often that Archie had to worry about things like this. It was mundane, downright ordinary, something that shouldn’t happen to one such as he. Yet, here he was, holding a snapped canine in his left hand and fingering the tender stump in his mouth with his right. It was shocking, that this could happen to him, and he was utterly befuddled.

This was something that would be an annoyance to most people. It would cause a certain amount of pain, to be sure, but a trip to the dentist in the morning would fix the problem. But Archibald considered the fact that he was eight feet tall, covered in fur, had clawed hands and feet, a long snout, and mouth filled with sharp teeth, and knew that visiting Dr. Tillman wasn’t an option.

Archie cursed the man who lay bleeding in the grass, slowly crawling away from the werewolf, who was still occupied with the tooth shard in his hand. Archie had bit down hard on the man’s wrist, not realizing that the watch he wore was made of pure silver. His tooth snapped right in half as he slammed his maw shut.

What would happen if he just left it? Would it heal when he turned back into a man? Or would he still have a broken canine when he became his mild-mannered human self once again? Could it get infected while he was in werewolf form? Could he feed while his tooth was in this condition? He pressed his finger into the stump and felt a sharp pain that practically blinded him, causing him to sink to his knees.

“Now you’ve done it!” he growled at the man as he clutched the side of his muzzle. “I was going to eat you, but now I think I’ll just let you turn next full moon!” Archibald knew he was only saying this to make himself feel better. He couldn’t have eaten the man if he wanted to with this dental situation. “That’ll show you…” he mumbled as he turned away from the now whimpering man and skulked away.

He walked through the woods for a while before he heard a familiar voice calling to him.

“Oi! Archie! All right?!”

Archie looked up to see his acquaintance, Theodore, lurching towards him through the darkness. Theodore looked downright chipper, his crooked smile somehow shining in the gloom as his stitchings-covered arm waved through the night air.

“Yeah. You?” Archie replied.

“Oh, it’s a lovely evening and the moon is bright,” Theodore said, beaming. “I’ve never been better. I found a patch of daisies back there!” He gestured toward the direction he came from and held up a fistful of slightly crumpled flowers.

“Brilliant,” grumbled Archie.

“What’s bugging you?” Theodore asked.

“Broke a tooth on some guy’s watch back there,” Archie informed his reanimated friend.

“Oh, wow,” said Theodore. “Bet that’s smarts. Does it hurt?” Archie nodded. “What are you going to do? Can you eat like that?” Archie shook his head. “A werewolf that can’t eat? Now I’ve seen everything!” Theodore laughed.

“You know, I don’t really find it funny.” Archie found himself walking a little faster as Theodore stumped along to keep up.

“I can’t exactly go see a dentist like this,” Archie replied, attempting to keep the vitriol to a minimum in his voice and failing. Theodore didn’t notice.

“No no no, not the dentist. The doctor. My doctor.”

Archie realized that Theodore was referring to the doctor who breathed life into him. The one who dug up all those corpses, picked and chose body parts from them, and stitched them all together before jolting it with enough electricity to power a small city (along with whatever crazy procedure he performed on the cadaver bits) and bringing Theodore to life.

“Your mad doctor? Does he even know anything about dentistry?”

“Oh yeah, of course he does,” Theodore replied, his voice full of enthusiasm. “He knows tons about every part of the body. Dental work isn’t exactly brain surgery!” Theodore guffawed loudly and snorted as he laughed at his own joke. Archie considered his options and realized that this was probably his best bet. He couldn’t see a regular dentist and even if he decided not to let the doctor do anything, he’d be no worse off than he is now.

Archie awoke the next morning naked in the woods, unaware of where he was or where his clothes were located. He shivered, clutching himself tight as he looked around. Nothing looked familiar, but at least there weren’t any body parts littered around him or bones sticking out of his-

He felt something hard protruding from his mouth. He reached up with a hand and felt around. Sure enough, there was a bone sticking out of his mouth. Archie sighed and pulled it out. Or, at least, he tried to. He gave it a tug, expecting it to simply slip from between his lips, but instead felt a sharp pain as it remained lodged in place.

“Agh!” he exclaimed. “What?” He tugged again with the same result. An intense pain and no movement. “What in the hell?!” he grunted around the object. Archie hadn’t been this confused since he woke up the first time after he had turned into a werewolf. He felt around with his hand, trying to make sense of what he was feeling. He ran his finger over what he could now tell was a sharp fang. Why was it still a fang? he wondered. He then dragged his finger further up and felt what seemed to be some sort of adhesive bond attaching the werewolf fang to the base of his normal canine. He could also tell that the huge size of the werewolf tooth had shoved all his other teeth out of place into a jumbled, painful mess.

For the first time, Archie missed waking up in a pile of body parts.

Thanks for reading! The prompt was “Werewolf begins worrying about his dental care after chipping a tooth.” Do me a solid, would you and please like, follow, and share this with your friends. This stuff is free!