How
to Hypnotise a ChickenYou
too can become a Chicken Hypnotist if you know what you are doing!
Mesmerisation of domestic poultry, a practical guide.

Hypnosis
of chickens can easily be safely accomplished if you are careful
and know how to do this. In the same sort of way in which a
parrot can be made to be quiet by being put in the dark, the
special features of animal psychology of birds allow this
remarkable technique of chicken hypnosis to be possible. Although
you don't need a fob watch on a chain to swing, to and fro, to
and fro, to and fro, nor do you need to have some special kind of
gleaming eyes to look deeply into, you should have a sympathy
with the subject. Be kind to chickens! This is supposed to be fun,
and the chicken should not be upset and should suffer no more
than slight embarrassment when you perform this remarkable trick
and hypnotise the chicken.

1.
First catch your chicken. This should be done neatly without fuss.
Avoid unseemly behaviour such as chasing wild chickens around.
Having a tame chicken is best. If you're not the owner, get the
owner to catch the chicken for you.

2.
Holding the chicken the right way up, with the head uppermost,
gently but firmly grasp the legs of the chicken underneath. It's
important to have a good grip on both of the legs but to avoid
squeezing too much. The claws should be arranged to avoid damage
to you or to the chicken.

3.
With deft sleight-of-hand, the chicken is swung speedily and
carefully round into the upside-down position, leaving you
holding the chicken by the legs! This will surprise the chicken,
but it should not be upset by it. Note that although it is no
longer regarded as acceptable by magicians to lift a rabbit by the
ears, rabbit ears are not designed by nature to hold the weight
of the rabbit. In contrast, the legs of a chicken are easily
strong enough to hold the weight of a chicken.

4.
Hold on to your chicken. If it flaps its wings, the wing tips
should not come into contact with anything. You have to be
careful, for the safe wellbeing of the chicken and also to save
your eyes from feather-damage. Be prepared for the chicken to
flap about a bit. This is quite usual. Don't drop it!

5.
Within a few seconds the chicken calms down and becomes
accustomed to being upside-down. This usually happens quite
quickly.

6.
Being upside-down is interpreted by the brain of the chicken as
being a condition in which it is appropriate to go into a state
of sleep. Within half a minute or so, you have a sleeping chicken
in your hands. Or at least, you have hold of the legs of a
chicken which is mysteriously hanging there upside-down, asleep.

7.
You can now stroke the chicken on the head, and under the chin,
and put straight any feathers which might have been ruffled up.
You can easily tidy-up, caress, and stroke a tranced chicken, as
you are able to hold both its feet in one hand, and by now the
feathered body is quite limp and placid.

8.
It's now possible to lower the chicken carefully and lay it down
on a flat surface. With practice and skill it's possible to drape
a sleeping chicken across the top of a television or other
conveniently placed garden object.

9.
You can in effect leave the chicken on its back with its feet up
in the air. This is an extraordinary sight and it beggars belief
that a live chicken will remain in such a condition. However, I
recommend that you don't just walk away and leave it. Two minutes
is plenty, and will adequately prove the point that you can
definitely hypnotise a chicken.

10.
At some point, the chicken is roused and will resume its usual
right-way-up state, with the feet on the ground, and will walk
around almost as if nothing has happened. If anyone says "it
still looks a bit dazed" then you're probably showing off
your chicken hypnosis technique too much. Go easy on those
chickens!

Notes:

*
The technique works about the same on both types of chickens; the
type that lay eggs, and the type that make a lot of noise at four
o'clock in the morning.

*
The technique does not work the same on humans, but if you want
to prove this, it's best to ask someone before trying this.

*
It has been suggested that birds left upside-down in a state of
sleep or hypnosis will somehow wake up simultaneously even though
there is no apparent communication or incoming reset pulse. This
may be a clue into a way of researching into some invisible
unknown force which may be interesting.

*
The condition being described as "hypnosis of a chicken"
may not be exactly the same as hypnosis of humans. The physiology
is quite different. Hypnotised humans become suggestable, and the
conscious will is temporarily abdicated to the hypnotist. In
contrast, in chicken-hypnosis, the phenomenon is physiological.
Nevertheless, it is an induced state of somatism resulting in a
change of state of mind, so it seems fair to term it "chicken
hypnosis".

*
Also, although people can be hypnotised and will give up smoking,
I know of no chickens that smoke cigarettes, so it's not
reasonable to guess if chickens could be made to give up smoking
by hypnosis. If you want to give up smoking, lose weight, or
alter your behaviour by hypnosis, you will be interested in
seeing Hypnotic Tracks.

*
Stage hypnotists have been known to convince hypnotised people
that they are chickens, for the amusement of the audience. You
may not have much luck suggesting to a hypnotised chicken that it's
a human, but it may be entertaining if you are performing chicken
hypnosis in front of an
audience, to suggest to the chicken that it is in fact a chicken
and will mysteriously behave in a chickenlike way on waking up.
No chickens have been harmed as a result of being post-hypnotically
suggested that they are chickens.

*
It's important to be fair to animals. Although I eat chickens, I
have never eaten a chicken which I have hypnotised.

*
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*
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