Description

"A Forest Nymph stops by to help spread the word on Nymph Awareness Month. Also… special note for Rusty: stop listening at about 38 minutes in."

Summary

In the intro, Arnie attempts to introduce Usidore and Chunt at the same time, to limited success. Arnie talks about wanting to take the podcast more seriously, and about how he’s going to start crossing off a list of required beats within the podcasts, including the intro and “banter”. Chunt shows interest in eventually moving to Earth after observing more Earth media during his one hour of internet time, specifically referencing the television show Ballers as a motivator to him. Arnie talks about how Earth stuff still bores him in comparison to Foon things. Usidore talks about his newfound love of salsa.

Gary the Forest Nymph is the guest that Arnie has invited on the show today, and he is here to talk about Nymph Awareness Month. Gary is a half-fish looking nymph with a small mustache resembling, in Arnie's words, Michael Jordan. After fielding questions about nymphs for a while, Gary laments that they would all know more about nymphs if Foon ever advertised its Nymph Awareness Month, of which his people are pushing for more visibility. Jack the Forest Nymph, for example, is little-known for creating shoes. Babs the Water Nymph is known for creating the quills. Usidore says that he met her in his youth, and the group toasts to her memory. Usidore brings up Sophia the Cave Nymph, the protector of the Sword of Emeralds, which was a fragile sword of glued together emeralds. Gary reveals he had his first kiss on a school field trip to Sophia’s cave, of which the boys badger him into talking about. His first kiss was with Jean the Rock Nymph; a butterfly went by, he said “you like that?” to Jean, and he got his kiss. His “nymph nodes” open up whenever he is excited, such as in this moment.

After the break, Usidore asks Gary to join his quest to defeat the Dark Lord, to which Gary agrees. Gary works with his parents; they run a “news company”, which produces a small book that doesn’t last long, but tells the reader about current events. Gary doesn’t excel at the family business, of which he is expected to one day take over. The trio give him the clues that they have for Gary to print in the next edition. Usidore and Arnie disagree over how to advise Gary to be a better news reporter, but Gary says that he doesn’t even want to be a reporter in the first place, and that he wants to be a chef. Usidore and Gary bond over salsa. The three encourage him to tell his parents that he wants to leave the reporting business and start a career in cooking. Gary realizes the boys are right, making the “beep” noise of a news broadcast. They toast again.

Emails

A listener asks if Chunt likes a little raspberry in his mead because badger glands secrete raspberry and vanilla flavoring. Arnie reveals that he knew this fact ahead of time during his time as a trivia writer, starting a conversation as to why you wouldn’t just use literal vanilla instead of resorting to badger glands.

Arnie gets an email from Rusty saying that, in retaliation for sending Hank to take him out, he has placed a package of taco seasoning through the portal with a note on top telling the finder to take Arnie out in return for more taco seasoning. The three apologize to Rusty, and Usidore suggest that Rusty and Hank make up. Arnie tells Hank to kill Rusty’s family, and for Rusty to stop listening to the podcast right before Arnie puts said hit on Rusty’s family.