Taking the Plunge

No one is ever completely ready for life's challenges. So what are you waiting for?

Heshy, the bar mitzvah boy, was neither friend nor relative – he was a student of my husband's and someone I knew only vaguely. And yet, as he stood at the podium looking so small in his painfully new suit – so vulnerable for a boy about to step into man's estate – my eyes filled.

They filled again as Heshy's grandfather stood up to speak about him. At the love and pride in the old man's voice, my heart came near to breaking. That grandfather knew – as I knew – that the bar mitzvah boy could not be ready for what lay ahead. How could any 13-year-old shoulders, only a short time ago lying peaceful and safe in a cradle under a lovingly crocheted blanket, be fully prepared to bear the responsibility of the Torah and its myriad expectations?

At Water's Edge

Fast-forward a few years, and he'll be standing beneath the chuppah, as women sniffle softly in the audience. They'll sniffle because they know what lies ahead – the indescribable joy of marriage and parenthood, along with the responsibility and apprehension. They'll know that – whatever his age – he is too young to contend with the challenges he will inevitably be called upon to face.

There is sweet, red wine to hearten the new couple at the start of their journey – and to highlight their pleasure at taking on an awesome new responsibility together. If Heshy's heart beats a little faster than usual, it is with excitement and joy as he contemplates a brand-new future, with a brand-new partner to make it shine. The ceremony winds its way to its conclusion, amid shattered glass and cries of "Mazel tov!" And all along, we know – as I knew at Heshy's bar mitzvah – that he is not fully prepared for the challenge that lies ahead.

The people were afraid. But Nachshon – as scared and unready as the rest of them – took the plunge.

There was someone else who was unprepared. Nachshon ben Aminadav, standing beside Moses at the water's edge, stared over his shoulder at the approaching Egyptian army, and then directly ahead at the churning waves of the Red Sea. Talk about helpless and vulnerable... A fledgling nation, the shell scarcely broken around it, was facing the ultimate test of its faith. God said to ignore the screaming hordes that were nearly upon them and to jump into the Sea. The people were afraid. But Nachshon – as scared and unready as the rest of them – took the plunge. He leaped into those waves, with nothing but his trust in God to sustain him.

And God sustained him. As He sustained Nachshon's brethren – all those other Jews who, following his courageous example, took the plunge.

As He sustained the newborn nation, standing later at the foot of Mount Sinai to receive the Law from the mouth of God Himself.

Scared and unready, flustered by miracles and thunderbolts, scarred by prolonged slavery and confused by a freedom as raw and new as pink skin growing over that scar – the Jewish people took the plunge. The midrash tells us that, with each commandment uttered by God, the souls of the Hebrews flew from their bodies and left them lifeless on the ground. Each time, God revived them, until they begged to have Moses serve as God's mouthpiece instead. They feared for their lives – but they adored their Creator. And because they loved Him they pledged Him their obedience, their loyalty, and their very lives, in advance. With one accord, they proclaimed, "We will do and we will hear." We will obey Your spoken Word, and afterwards, if You care to explain it, we will listen.

There were no rehearsals for the event, no warm-up sessions. They were presented with a bald challenge – a simple question: Do you dare?

One and all, they dared.

As bar-mitzvah-boy Heshy, looking so touchingly young in his brand-new suit, dares to accept the Torah's yoke. If his shoulders are not yet strong enough, he has faith that they will fill out and become sturdier. They will be able to bear whatever weight they are called upon to bear. And one day, they will be capable of supporting others, weaker than he.

As every young couple standing beneath the wedding canopy dares. If marriage, and the world of adult responsibility and relationship, is a closed book to them now, they believe that its pages will open to them in time and its message stand revealed. Life and its manifold secrets will unfold, like a many-petaled flower waiting for the touch of the sun – its signal to start living.

Man-Sized Shoes

None of us is ever completely ready. We're not ready to take our Judaism up a notch, to attempt the next level of observance and commitment. Not ready to test our potential in areas that intimidate us – be it a new job, a new relationship or a new philosophy. Not ready to try and uproot mountains, when the only tool we have is a puny spade meant for digging in the sand and building child's castles to be washed away in the next tide.

Readiness is no prerequisite for growth.

But our illustrious forbears have shown us that readiness is no prerequisite for growth. Abraham was only three when he discovered the existence of God. How ready could he have been, to become a spiritual father to hundreds of souls in Charan, and, in time, to more millions than he could ever have imagined?

And yet, he understood that he was obligated by his newfound knowledge to step into a pair of shoes that must have seemed terribly large for his tiny feet. Abraham became the world's first iconoclast. He dared to start something – something big – something that literally made the whole world what it is today.

Magic Trick

I nearly cried at Heshy's bar mitzvah, but Heshy himself didn't shed a tear. This, I think, is Heaven's magic trick: a sleight-of-hand, a happy delusion. While everyone around us may be excruciatingly aware of just how unready we are, we Jews somehow find the courage to step right up to the bat anyhow. We gaze into the waters of a swirling sea that ought to frighten us out of our wits, but we manage to hold onto both our wits and our sense of security, even though we may experience a pang. With trust in God, we hold our noses and take the plunge.

And then, miraculously, the drop is behind us, and we're swimming... walking... running on perfectly dry ground, headed for the Promised Land.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Libby Lazewnik has written numerous books and short stories for both children and adults, published by ArtScroll, Targum Press and Feldheim. She also edits, translates and teaches the occasional class on the fine points of creative writing. She finds food for thought and literature in just about everything. Libby lives in Baltimore with her husband and children.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 15

(15)
Anonymous,
November 13, 2014 4:18 AM

Excellent!

This is excellent and so inspiring! Thank you so much for posting this!

(14)
Anonymous,
November 11, 2014 12:44 PM

Daily Plunge

Just getting up...Saying "Modeh Ani" and thinking about what it means...facing a new day. Now, there's "taking the plunge" for each of us. And it's not even catered.

(13)
Anonymous,
March 14, 2013 4:38 PM

exactly what i feel like every time i need to change

I went through an excruciating 8 months trying to figure out why anyone would want to get married. Soul searching is not even the words to describe what I went through at the tender age of 18. Then, once I was married and expecting my first child, I went through another 9 months of incredible fear for the future. Evrey change is hard for me. And I know I'm not alone in that respect. Why can't I look back at my triumphs of my past and realize that the fear that ALMOST immobilized me back then really is the same as now and that just like I got through it then, I'll get through it now.Have the courage and you'll get through it.

(12)
Sandrine,
November 25, 2012 3:35 PM

right or right?

Stop thinking: should I or not? Easy to say,but what could happening? If it's not death: so let's try?!

(11)
atara,
July 24, 2009 4:23 AM

amazing

Thank you for such a poignant article. I normally just scroll down any article. This aricle was so terse and touching, I read it over and over.

(10)
Anonymous,
July 23, 2009 5:41 PM

ignorance is bliss

If while standing under the chuppah I would have known what my future held would I have smiled like that? I don't know. But what I do know is that the only comfort/light there is, is in connecting myself & placing my troubles on Hashem. & you know what? The darkest points do always come before the 'light" can shine through.

(9)
WilliamLink,
December 14, 2006 7:42 PM

A tender thought provoking article

This article ,so well written,challenged me to give thought of my own spirituality and devotion.

(8)
Renee,
December 1, 2006 8:49 AM

Spectacular!

Your writing stylehas an amazing ability to touch one's heart! Thank you for such a beautiful article!!

(7)
shoshana,
November 30, 2006 11:57 AM

response to BeverlyKurtin

I'm not sure what your point is. yes, there are kids who don't give it their all, but just maybe, society puts too much emphasis on the "show". Maybe these kids don't think they have a choice? "EVERYONE" does the whole Torah portion, and "EVERYONE" delivers a complicated "disertation". Maybe if parents would say, it's okay to only do a small portion, or to only give a short d'var torah, some of these kids would give it their all instead of giving up.

(6)
Nechama,
November 29, 2006 6:12 AM

Amazing! Libby, your writing is magnificent. Very few have the ability to enter one's heart as you do. I'm waiting for the book.

(5)
BeverlyKurtin,
November 27, 2006 10:25 PM

Why?

My throat constricts during some Bar Mitzvahs, particularly when the young man has done a great job of preparing and doesn't have to have help pronouncing even the English phrases he has to say.

Other Bar Mitzvahs I wonder why the rabbi is patting the little brat on the head saying, "Good job, good job" when he should, in fact, kick the kid where it will do the most good. It is obvious that there was not only no attempt at preparing for his part in the service, but that he could care less. Meanwhile, instead of kvelling at their son's "achievement," the parents want to crawl out of shul so no one will see them.

Methinks that the fault lays entirely on the kid as with anything else in life. There are people who will always do an outstanding job, and others who will do as little as they dare get away with.

Nashon prepared? For what? An inch or two of water? That's what the kids are being told today. Red Sea? Nah, just a shallow part of a marsh or winds came from here while a cold front hovered over there... Where is the awe that today's kids aren't being taught? They don't even have enough preparation to counter detractors of Torah by asking, if the water was so shallow, how could the Egyptians drown in the water? Maybe HaShem said, "Moshe, I shrank the Egyptians" and they died in an inch of water?

Feh! I believe in HaShem and I even believe in angels. Two days ago my wheelchair flipped over backwards. My sister watched in horror as my head aimed at the edge of my desk. I would have hit the base of my neck the way I was aimed. Suddenly, my arm shot up, pushing me away from the desk and I wound up with only some bruises and a cut arm from where a stainless steel watch band tore off my arm. It was impossible for me to react, it happened in a fraction of a second, yet I felt my arm being tugged up. The hair on the back of my head was straight up where it brushed the edge of the desk.

No too shabby for something or some body that doesn't exist, huh?

A message for today's kids: Stop buying what today's "experts" are teaching you and open your Torah.

(4)
Sandy,
November 27, 2006 7:55 PM

Wondrous article

One of the most special articles I have been priveledged to read.

Thank you!

(3)
Anonymous,
November 26, 2006 11:31 AM

Moves me more than anything

I am amazed every sunday when I receive my AISH newsletter. I am not Jewish yet I can relate with most things I read here. I take about a week to read everything and the next one comes. I have to thank you for being able to say what I feel in my heart of hearts.

(2)
Anonymous,
November 26, 2006 10:04 AM

touches your soul

I am not an ortodox Jew but this is an article which brings tears to my eyes

(1)
Anonymous,
November 26, 2006 8:52 AM

Another moving article

I am amazed how moved I am. Would everything I say seem sillly? Like, "Is it a girl thing? Is is Sunday morning that I am so sentimental thus easily moved? Is it because HaShem sees that what I need to see and hear is presented to me?" Regardless of any contributing factors, thank you Libby for a thoughtful and well written article.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!