My big transition

Last month I wrote about the transition from college to working adult. I waxed philosophic about moving from college student to working adult and how difficult a transition that is.

We all do it, don’t we? I mean, those of us who desire to make our own mark in the world.

Well, I had my own transition yesterday. My oldest daughter Rachel piled what she could of her belongings into her car and with her sister, headed to Los Angeles to start her life.

To see what she can do.

Now I have some sense as to what the parents of our freshmen go through, yesterday was difficult, very difficult.

Difficult especially because it’s permanent and it’s not like we can decide to visit her for the weekend very easily without booking an expensive flight. And difficult because I like my kids, I enjoy their company. And difficult because she’s moving so far away, without a job, to pursue her dream of becoming an actor. And difficult because I won’t be there when she needs a ride to the dentist, to fix a broken whatever or to sooth the pain of the rejection she’ll get when those auditions happen.

There is no gradual transition.

My wife and I have been lucky in that both of our daughters decided to stay here for college so we saw them frequently. Rachel, as a matter of fact, lived at home with us her senior year to save some money so we saw her a lot. Anita is returning from this trip for her senior year so we have one more year with her but we expect her to move away too.

Funny, I knew this day was coming and yet, my feelings about it have taken me completely by surprise. To see the couch where she would watch Netflix, her empty bed, the clean countertop in the kitchen in the morning (she almost never put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher) are reminders that it’s all changed. And it changed, literally, overnight.

There is no internship to soften the blow.

But this is the way it’s supposed to work. When one decides to have children the job is to get them ready to face the world and let them start their own life in whatever form that takes. And if you’re lucky, and the stars are aligned just right, this is what I am supposed to feel: anguish, anxiety, joy, pride, love.

I just hope it gets easier to see the empty bed, the empty couch and clean countertops.