It’s Rock Week on Project Runway! Well, sort of.
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We’re back to using “real people” as models – in this case, an unsigned indie rock band called “The Sheepdogs.” The eight designers are divided into two teams of four, with each member of the team designing for one of the bandmembers – all of whom are MALE. The teams are Team Harmony – Anthony, Anya, Laura and Bert. The other team is Team Untitled (seriously) – Josh, Olivier, Viktor and Kimberly.

Neither Kimberly nor Anya have EVER sewn for men, and only Olivier has any real menswear experience (other than the other men designing for themselves and possibly friends.) And, okay, Anya never really sewed for anyone until this show. Did you know that?

They all pick their bandmembers – Josh chooses his (the bassist Ryan) because he likes Ryan’s snakeskin shoes. Josh is going to be fun this episode. Laura picks Leot because he likes red jeans. I’m not sure at all why Olivier picks the large ginger bear lead singer Ewan, but he does.

They listen to what the bandmembers want, and then discuss and sketch as teams – except that, as Tim tells them, there is no need for cohesion among the looks and they’ll all be judged individually.

And then we’re off to mood, where there is a shortage of red denim and Laura goes way over her $300 budget. Fortunately, Bert went just as far under and could help her out – and DID.

Olivier spends most of his design time (where he’s very slow anyway) freaking out that Ewan is “plus-sized.” This means he’s a tall man with meat on his bones. Olivier can’t deal with human beings, apparently. He also wants to use his preferred palette, and make a shirt with swans on it.

Bert has problems with colors, as he wanted to dye his fabric navy blue but it came out purple. He likes purple, so he’s okay with that. As it turns out, Ewan isn’t so thrilled, so Bert redyes and redyes. He ends up with, well, purple. Laura makes fun of it and says she’s not going to help. The man who helped her.

Anya and Kimberly, who share the drummer Sam, also end up sharing fabric and neither are happy to make menswear for the first time and, as both are self-taught, without training. We’re getting the makings of dashiki and something that looks like brown paper.

Josh designs zipper pants, and is amazed that it’s a BAD thing to draw attention to the crotch. He’s aware his aesthetic is gay as opposed to rock, so he needs to compensate. Well, the guest judge will relate.

Anthony Ryan has a print that looks floral but is actually wood and he wants to make a shirt. No drama there.

Viktor is making distressed jeans, a floral shirt (really) and a fringed pleather jacket.

There are fittings and refittings, and poor Ewan has to sit for hours in his undies waiting for Olivier.

They get styled and made-up (mostly powder, since these are guys.) Ewan is given BRAIDS for Bert.

I think Ewan stole this show, at least up until the judging.

And this is where MamaDeb loses objectivity because they go to the runway, and the guest judge is Adam Lambert, and he looks gorgeous (if a bit too fake-tanned. They all look orange, but…) He giggles when Heidi calls him “Fashion Forward musician.” He giggles a LOT during this, in between having a very serious face and giving good critique.

Understand this, my dears. I spent ALL last season of Runway hoping they’d have Adam on, as a judge and as a client for a possible red carpet look. They didn’t even have a menswear challenge last year.

Given how dreadful everything was this episode, I’m pretty glad they didn’t make anything for him, but having Adam as a judge…well. SQUEEEEEEEE.

Josh looks interested.

Instead of walking the runway, the band performs two songs, changing outfits in between. (Actually, I wonder if they’re being judged at that point, because Ewan’s braids were extensions, and he didn’t have them for the second song.)

Adam bops his head during the not great songs (although I like Ewan’s growly voice. Confession – a big man with long hair and a beard? That’s what I married, people. It’s my type. Sorry, Adam. You’re pretty, though.)

Team Harmony is first – Anthony’s shirt on Leot is sleevless, with white jeans and fringe in back. Meh. Anya dressed the poor drummer Sam in an orange tunic and jeans. Laura put Ryan in a purple jacket, a scarf, dark red jeans (she dyed the denim to his specifications) and a tie-dyed tank that looked like bloodstains. Burt dressed Ewan in purple – a flowing shirt and jacket with a hint of tie-dye, and a pair of pinstriped denim jeans. And pigtails.

Anthony was meh, Anya and Laura was dreadful, which makes Bert’s the best of this group. Maybe living through the seventies was a plus? The judges thought Anya’s tunic was like Pocahontas.

Team Untitled gave us Leot in Viktor’s pleather jacket (with the fringe coming from braids), floral western shirt and distressed jeans (I love that jacket.), Sam in Kimberly’s orange bowling shirt and her normal great pants, Ryan in Josh’s much of a muchness (fringed and detailed jacket, print tank, white pants with brown pockets and cuff inserts) and Ewan in..oh, poor Ewan. Ill fitting white pants under an equally fitting swan print shirt that made this guy look like a grandma. And neither shirt nor pants were actually finished, either.

They liked Josh, Viktor and Bert best (Adam thought Josh looked rock and roll, thought Bert managed to actually be fashionable and loved everything Viktor), and liked Kimberly, Anya and Olivier least. Laura and Anthony were in the middle. Viktor, on the strength of THREE well-made pieces, including a really gorgeous jacket, wins. Olivier didn’t stand a chance and went home. Boring, ill-fitting, unbecoming – and he didn’t have the excuse of not knowing menswear.

Josh, btw, spent a lot of time making eye-contact with Adam, including blowing him a kiss when he declared safe. Sorry, Josh. Yes, Adam is “gorg”, but he’s also very, very taken. And you’re too tall anyway.

The photoshoot prize for Marie Claire – poor Leot just didn’t work with the rest of the band in his Viktor designed outfit. Ah, well. Viktor had a ball, though.

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About mamadeb

I'm a devoted fan of Adam Lambert, but also of cooking, knitting, science fiction and pretty anything pop culture. I'm @_mamadeb on Twitter.