My stories highlight and explore the major stories of the day through the lens of education, power and innovation. A senior editor at Forbes, I edit the America's Top Colleges, 30 Under 30, Most Powerful People and 100 Most Powerful Women packages. I didn't start here. It's been a winding road through the halls of People,The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, AP and Village Voice. Email: choward@forbes.com Twitter @CarolineLHoward

Her “reports from the trenches of authoritarian parenthood” have been closely followed, discussed and almost always damned in “every playground, supermarket and coffee shop” across the country, notes Time contributor Annie Murphy Paul. And why not? A sampling:

Calling her daughters “garbage” or “fat.”

Throwing her 3-year-old out in the cold. (“You can’t stay in the house if you don’t listen to Mommy.”)

Forcing her 7-year-old to practice piano “right through dinner into the night”–no water or potty breaks–until the piece was perfect.

It may be the latest battle of the “mommy roars,” as Barb Shelley on KansasCity.com so cleverly says, but Chua has tapped into some teachable moments worth debating for a long time to come.

No. 1: Hard work pays off. The parentifesto for Chinese moms like Chua is simple: Work hard. Intelligence and ability–a meritocracy so highly valued by the “elite” and those aspiring to be (hence all the G&T programs)–are great, but are not necessarily associated with achievement. Discipline is. “The tiger mother’s cubs are being raised to rule the world,” writes Murphy Paul, “while the offspring of ‘weak-willed,’ ‘indulgent’ Westerns” are polishing their just-for-showing-up trophies.

Here’s the write-up on that last one: “Grown-ups who trust in old-fashioned common-sense child-rearing–the definitely un-PC variety, with no negotiation or parent-child equality–will have less patience for this book than those who fear they lack innate parenting instincts.” [my bold.]

Insecurity is a white noise in American parenting. It’s not unheard of for college admissions offices to field calls from parents of two-year-olds asking about tours and admission requirements. It’s refreshing to see an adult on the national stage advocating for rules and principles–especially someone without political or reality TV aspirations or motivations.

No. 3: Time and effort. Ordinary working mothers are tired. Most do not put in the same kind of second-shift as a Tiger Mom: “When Sophia came in second on a multiplication speed test at school, Chua made her do 20 practice tests every night for a week, clocking her with a stopwatch.” And who was there to make sure the kids were practicing music for as many as six hours per day. Mom.

Chua’s eyes-on-the-prize dedication to putting in the hours (see No. 1) is both shocking and symbolic because it’s so different. Working women with children with a college degree spend a weekly average of 14 hours on child care. That’s, like, a Tuesday and Wednesday for Chua.

No. 4: Assume strength.

Most surprising of all to Chua’s detractors may be the fact that many elements of her approach are supported by research in psychology and cognitive science. Take, for example, her assertion that American parents go too far in insulating their children from discomfort and distress. Chinese parents, by contrast, she writes, “assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.” In the 2008 book A Nation of Wimps, author Hara Estroff Marano, editor-at-large of Psychology Today magazine, marshals evidence that shows Chua is correct. “Research demonstrates that children who are protected from grappling with difficult tasks don’t develop what psychologists call ‘mastery experiences,’ ” Marano explains. “ Kids who have this well-earned sense of mastery are more optimistic and decisive; they’ve learned that they’re capable of overcoming adversity and achieving goals.” Children who have never had to test their abilities, says Marano, grow into “emotionally brittle” young adults who are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.

So much for those trophies just for showing up.

The most common threads of contemporary parenting are overwhelmed and overworked (see this cri de coeur on Parenting.com: It feels so overwhelming sometimes!…Does anyone else try to balance working full time and their kids and their relationships and caring for a household?) or overwhelming and overbearing (see helicopter parents).

For many mothers (and fathers), Chua brings up a set of issues and questions that might be as serious a divide as work vs. stay at home. Let the debates continue.

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i am glad that this is a rational approach to the Chua article (which in her own words was distorted and misrepresented by the WSJ). I find the disconnect between Westerner’s (particularly American’s) need to molly-coddle their children and the unforgiving behavior towards adults startling. As a mother, Chua is criticized for calling her child “fat”, whereas in the adult work environment, people (mostly women) are criticized for not being direct enough! I guess you can’t win.

Chua’s critics (and the people sending her death threats) need to think about what they are so defensive about. Thanks for pointing out the merits of her approach, Caroline.

This is an interesting and provocative topic for me as I am in the midst of research on gifted high school students in Spencer, Iowa as well as involved in a debate on LinkedIn about Chinese and American educational differences and similarities.

Chinese Americans and some of other Asian American groups are considered model minorities in American education meaning they typically excel where other minorities do not.

This is what I commented recently on the LinkedIn site for US Policy and World Group page.

I quote Howard below on what she calls an important “teachable moment” for Americans:

“No. 1: Hard work pays off. The parentifesto for Chinese moms like Chua is simple: Work hard. Intelligence and ability–a meritocracy so highly valued by the “elite” and those aspiring to be (hence all the G&T programs)–are great, but are not necessarily associated with achievement. Discipline is. “The tiger mother’s cubs are being raised to rule the world,” writes Murphy Paul, “while the offspring of ‘weak-willed,’ ‘indulgent’ Westerns” are polishing their just-for-showing-up trophies.”

Does hard work always lead to achievement? What of motivation? Inspiration? Creativity? Intuition? Empathy? Opportunity? Awareness? Consciousness?

Howard’s understanding of achievement as discipline based (working hard) and, perhaps, NOT so much about intelligence and ability (the Gifted and Talented) resonates with my current research findings on gifted students.

This suggests the American system of education is not about achievement or discipline, but about super intelligence and super abilities in the elite. We are known for our innovation and our creativity. We are also known for our special education laws and guarantee of a free and public education for all children, ages 3 to 21, regardless of disability. Two divergent goals.

Chua claims she was not writing a parenting how-to book, but merely sharing her story as an elite Chinese American parent. All Chinese American parents are not alike and all American parents are not alike.

All immigrants are not alike. The history of American education and the treatment of immigrants or Native Americans is startling and brutal. Immigrant children were “street urchins” living in tenements or sold into farm labor, if they were poor and unlucky.

Native Americans were forced to give up their culture and religion and removed from their families to live in boarding schools. There are Native Americans still alive today to tell the horror of their schooling as the “other.” Many urban Native Americans and those living on reservations suffer from ill health and learning disabilities disproportionately compared to other groups today.

Young African American males far out number other groups in prisons. Latina females far out number other groups in teenage pregnancy rates. You say I am wrong about American education being created and maintained for the WASP culture? This country was founded by WASPs and so was the public educational system.

Please don’t get me wrong! I love my country deeply and passionately. I love this country so much that I hope we are brave and bold enough to make a difference for all Americans through improvements in education before too much more time passes.

The politically correct or incorrect debates are tedious and mundane.

I have many stories of immigrant students who were mislabeled as “Mentally Handicapped” or “Retarded” because educators did not take the time to learn about cultural differences and respect those differences in how a particular child learns.

The challenge is not for the American or immigrant parent as much as it is for the policymakers in this country.

End of my comment on LinkedIn.

I would like to add here that after reading the helicopter parents article I am moved to say that I think American parents (and I do believe we are talking mostly about elite parents or at least upper middle class to elite) have become overindulgent in their children, in part, as an escape from the realities of our global political economy.

I am sure that sounds harsh and I do not mean to be cruel, but I cannot help but to state that Americans have been in denial of environmental destruction and global malnutrition and famine for decades.

Our lives of luxury, overconsumption and elitism contribute to the imbalances of this world.

Should we simplify? Absolutely! Does relaxation and freedom encourage creativity? Absolutely!

Ms. Chua’s parenting ideas are not that different from those of many African-American parents in the ’60s & ’70s’ who raised their children with a “no excuses” and “you need to be twice as good” mindset. When I was seven, my dad taught me to play chess by playing me until I could beat him. When I got mad & said “You should let me win because I’m a kid” he told me that the world wouldn’t let me win because I was a kid & I won’t always be a kid.

As a consequence of that and other lessons, I’ve always believed I could do whatever I put my mind to with enough hard work & resilience. As a consequence I went on to become a high school student body president while getting straight As and lettering in three varsity sports. Today, I have undergraduate degrees in engineering, art, business & real estate from three elite schools.

I have spent a career lifetime among hyper over-achievers many of whom spent a big chunk of change sending their inner child to the Harvard of Mental Health.

The central parental question should be: for whom am I doing this? Does your child want to be an Olympic swimmer? O.K., support and discipline will be necessary for those 5 a.m. workouts. Is my child too young to KNOW what he/she wants? Then I create opportunities for exploration of talent and desire.

My father wanted me to be Governor of California (really!) My mother wanted me to be happy. Somehow, I’ve finally managed to achieve career satisfaction, creative self-expression and as happy a family as I ever imagined having. I would never have had the guts to go to law school without Dad’s aspirations. But I would not have had the emotional balance necessary to achieve any part of them without mom’s unconditional love.

It’s good to look at the extremes (fanatic mom vs. lazy parent) so we can clarify our own modest goals and choose those methods that fit our own unique talents and desires best. But affection and positive regard vs. hyper-achievement? Is this truly a question anyone seriously poses?

I hesitate to personalize this discussion from my own upbringing because I believe it is complicated, personal and at once individual and society driven. We are products of our times, indeed.

With that said, I can relate to both of you, in different ways.

I have long held the belief that children look to the formal schooling process to balance the dynamics at home. In my case, elementary education served me well, but secondary school failed miserably. College and graduate school gave me the foundation for which to build who I am today.

I am grateful for the woman I have become, yet the journey has not been easy as a sensitive, creative, intelligent female who naturally abhors competition amid extremely competitive counterparts.

My parents gave me values and my knowledge constructions gave me my identity. I am what I am today not because of my parents or in spite of them, but because who I am inside has developed cognitively, intellectually and spiritually to be the person I am everyday in the lived experience.

As Kahlil Gibran wrote:

On Children

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.