Saturday, August 4, 2012

Don’t Chase Girls, BAIT Them

This is a big, big topic for getting girls to chase. Chasing happens when you were putting more time, effort, and energy into the interaction. Now chasing is bad because once you are in that pursuer role, you’re never getting out and if anything you’re just creating a situation where the girl is screening you and looking for reasons to not be into you.

Make 'em chase you

Baiting on the other hand is incredibly powerful because baiting basically comes from the fishing metaphor to bait a hook. Right, you don’t just throw your hook out in the ocean and hope some fish is dumb enough to think that glinting, metal thing is food, instead you put something on that hook in order to entice the person to jump on there.

So when it comes to baiting, we are getting the girl to basically jump in and put more effort and energy into the interaction.

Baiting is basically the idea of giving a girl a little clue or a tease or a puzzle piece, and then pulling it back and seeing if she comes forward and wants to ask for more information about it. So when you start baiting you’re going to start by using things like open loops.

Open loops are the easiest way to bait and an open loop is simply and unfinished thought.

Like:

“oh, my, god, I’ve got to tell you about the time I climbed up to the Hollywood sign,”

And then the girl is going to be like:

“wait, what about the Hollywood sign?”

Or you know, I might say something like,

“and that’s how I learned that Jenn with two N’s will stab you.”

But I’m baiting her, with that open loop I’m baiting her to ask: what was the story with this Jenn girl, why did she stab you, or try to stab you? What’s going on? What did you do to make that happen? There are a lot of questions that come from that.

And you’re also going to have what I call conversational hooks, and conversational hooks are basically unanswered questions that you insert into the conversation.

So, for example, I might say:

“Yeah, I’m totally in the wrong business because I hate flying.”

The unanswered question there is, what do you do for work?

or I might say:

“you know, where I’m from people are like way more straight to the point.”

The unanswered question—where you from?

You can do that with most things about yourself. You can put conversational hooks in there; you can also do it with things that are high value. The best way you use baiting is if you have something cool about yourself, if you have something that makes you look really cool and bad-ass, you can bait the girl into asking about it.

So, for example, I train with professional fighters so I might say:

“oh, yeah, careful, that side is a bunch of bruise from this guy in the UFC’s.”

She’s like wait what?

And I can say:

“oh yeah, I train with a bunch of guys in the UFC, it’s not that big of a deal though.”

But because she asked about it it’s cooler than me bringing it up on my own. That’s the basis of conversational hooks is you want take things that are cool about yourself, put them into unanswered questions. When someone asks it’s not bragging, you’re just answering a question so that’s really powerful.

Another way to bait is to use cold reads, to say things like:

“You know, I have a feeling about you, I have an intuition about you.”

Or:

“I just get this sense that you’re like… actually I shouldn’t say.”

And if they ask about it, now you can go on and cold read them without trying to force it down their throats.

Hopefully by now you understand the difference between baiting and chasing and how to use baiting to get girls to chase you.