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This is a totes magotes bummer: according to theories posited by the author of this piece, Terrance Aym, and backed up by data from geo-chemists like Northwestern University’s Gregory Ryskin, the BP oil spill could release massive amounts of methane gas and, as an end result, blow out the entire seabed, leading to “massive venting” and large fissures in the sea bottom. This, in turn, would kill us all just as other mass extinctions wiped out life on earth during similar ruptures 251 million years ago and 55 million years ago.

In short, here’s what’s up:

The bottom line: BP’s Deepwater Horizon drilling operation may have triggered an irreversible, cascading geological Apocalypse that will culminate with the first mass extinction of life on Earth in many millions of years.

Here’s a video from Mega Disasters, which is all kinds of fun:

Basically the sea floor explodes and clouds of methane-infused water start floating over the land. These catch fire and explode quite suddenly, unleashing a massive fireball, killing everything in its path. Sea levels will rise and fall, entire ecosystems will collapse, and we’ll be left with the bill. All because we wanted to fill up on unleaded.

Will this really happen? It seems that Ayn is positing based on previous explosions that the BP deepwater drill could create a catastrophic eruption. This does not mean that the Gulf will explode in a ball of fire, but it does give one pause. It sounds almost like the explosions that rocked the world in The Road and if we know anything about apocalyptic fiction, it almost never comes true.

Anyway, sorry for harshing on your buzz. There’s a picture of a kitten up there if you need it.