Thursday, August 15, 2013

You Threw Your Drugs Into A Bird’s Nest Day!

Your mom was coming in to search your room to make sure you’re not getting high again, so with a bit of quick thinking, you opened the window and tossed your drugs into the birds’ nest on the tree branch just outside your room.

When your mom finishes searching your room and decides that you’ve been clean and you can stay another week, you climb out onto the tree branch to get your drugs back. Unfortunately, all your drugs are gone and all the birds in the birds’ nest are dead. All but one.

“Why is everyone in my family dead?” the little bird asks you.

“I think they ate all my drugs,” you tell it.

“What are drugs?” the little bird asks.

“They make you feel different,” you tell it. “At first, they make you feel good. Then, they make you feel the only way you want to feel, which is different than the way you really feel, so you have to keep doing them.”

The little bird looks at its dead family.

“I want to feel different than the way I really feel,” it says.

You feel terrible for the little bird, so you promise you’ll help it feel different. You climb down and head into the city to cop. When you come back, you climb back up into the tree with your drugs, and some less powerful drugs you bought especially for the little bird.

“Thank goodness,” the little bird says. “I’ve been crying all day.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you ask it. “It will change your whole life. Suddenly, you’ll only live for drugs. Your every decision and action will be made in an effort to get more drugs. Nothing will matter except drugs.”

“Right now,” the little bird says, “Nothing matters except sorrow, except this horrible loss and unfathomable promise that there’s going to be a tomorrow that I’ll have to get through, and it will probably be even worse than today. I’d be more than happy to have drugs take the place of all that.”

You give the little bird its bird drugs and you watch all the sadness you caused it disappear as it lays back in the nest with its eyes half-closed. For a second, you wonder if you should do your drugs. Watching the bird, you like the way you feel. You caused it pain, but then you helped make that pain go away. You feel good about yourself for the first time in a while, and just for a second, you don’t want to feel different. But just for a second.