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There is a revolution going on in my dustbin. My waste does not wish to be waste and protests when I try to insist that the end of its life has come and it’s time to head for burial in landfill.

‘See reason’, I say to the empty wine bottles I have after the weekend. ‘What could I use you for I’m never going to fit a vineyard on my balcony?’

The bottles insist they are multi-skilled artists; more than one string to their bow. I acknowledge this but point out that I already have more bistro style candle holders than I have window sills to have wax melt over.

The bottles start wondering how much more I need to drink before my mind opens and how many more empty bottles there would be to save from landfill at the end of this process.

The bottles wish me to see their potential so take me to a trendy bar where all the lamp shades are made of empty wine bottles.

‘It’s called upcycling’, the bottles tell me. ‘We can be reincarnated in a manner which recognises our good karma, for we are bottles whose wine has eased your sorrows and we deserve to be something more in our next life’.

‘All of you?’ I only need so much lighting and had not planned to live in a wine bar themed flat. Wishing for an atmosphere of sobriety for at least some of the hours of each day. ‘Besides’, I point out, ‘I have no ability to use a craft knife?’

‘You’re looking at this issue back to front’, the bottles tell me. ‘What you need to do is create demand for upcyled products’.

But I spend too much time hungover to wish to live in a home where I might ever be tempted to pour myself a glass of light bulb.

Where will it end? Riding to work on a coat hanger, fishing for a credit card in a wellington boot as I pay for groceries? Someone save me from my waste.

Luckily for people who can use a craft knife Healthy Planet has a host of fun ways to upcycle with step by step picture guides on how to turn your waste into things you want. See Pinterest

Here are a couple of my favourites. I quite see why it makes sense to be able to find one’s hairdryer without the flex being caught around something else and enjoy a moderate amount of nature on the balcony.

James Averdieck, founder of Gu Desserts will ‘…set up a proper recycling area so I can make full use of my kerbside collections’.

Shadow waste minister Gavin Shuker will plan ahead and refill his water bottles. ‘On average people throw out 166 plastic water bottles per year’.

Waste of space

Waste minister Lord Taylor who will ‘…go through my wardrobe and take all the clothes that I no longer wear or can’t fit into, to a charity shop’. Clearly employed for not wasting food.

Derek Neimann, editor of RSPB’s magazine will ‘…reduce the amount of bread I put in the food waste bin. There must be lots more recipes with breadcrumbs in the world.’ Or, of course, he could feed the ducks.

Healthy Planet has its own initiative to save books from landfill and give them out for free. Donate your unwanted books to charity or to Healthy Planet’s Books for Free centres we now have 30 across the UK.

You can also check out Stuff for Free – events that save unwanted stuff from landfill – many areas have similar events often called give & gain days. We can all change the way we think about the stuff we have & throw away – as there is no ‘away’, we have one planet.

Great blog by Karen CannardThe Rubbish DietCan an average person really create Zero Waste? The challenge was set and during the week 10-17 March 2008, one mother in Bury St Edmunds gave it a go. She only threw out a plaster. Can you do it too? Why not try your own Rubbish Diet and slim your bin. You’ll be amazed at how easy it really is and you could even save some money. If Almost Mrs Average can do it, you can too.