2) Learn as early as possible that
Man is a feeling creature, and therefore the greatest in the universe. (In
other words, don't try to "trade up")

3) Don't fool with recombinant DNA
technology unless you are sure you know what you are doing. When you ARE
sure that you know what you are doing is when you ARE the greatest threat to all
that is sane and holy.

4) If you absolutely must
experiment with re-animating the dead, never try to create the perfect woman from various
gender-proper parts. By no means should you give her the heart or head of your dead
girlfriend with hopes of bringing her back! In this instance it is much better to have loved
and lost than to...well, you get the picture.

5) If your roommate at med school
develops a reagent for re-animating the dead immediately drop out! Pursue a career in fast
food--anything--but by all means never, EVER, lock yourself in a basement / morgue / vault
when you test it on a dead body. Refrain from testing it on more than one body at a time
and DO NOT let any of the failed experiments escape!

6) If you permit failed
re-animation experiments to escape (by disregarding the previous tip) they will
undoubtedly group together and come after you with tools!

7) ALL genetic experiments will
create humanoid mutants (whether or not human/primate DNA is used) with BIG teeth and
claws, and a tough hide impervious to bullets. NEVER play god and try your hand at
gene-splicing!

8) When scientists start saying
they have made a breakthrough in gene-splicing, pull the plug on the project or resign as
C.E.O. of the corporation.

9) Do not create life: it's never
properly grateful and will eventually kill you.

10) Stimulating glands
that were not meant to be stimulated is a REAL bad idea.

11) If you ever pull the plug on a
scientist's experiment, he will go mad and do the experiment anyway, with the intention of
slaughtering you and all of your loved ones.

12) When it comes to transplants,
two heads are NEVER better than one!