The terms of the deal have not been reported yet, although the Marlins were apparently asking for two pitching prospects and a replacement outfielder. The 27-year-old Ozuna was a bargain at $3.5 million last season as he hit 37 home runs with a .376 OBP. Derek Jeter’s stupid ballclub just transparently does not give a shit.

If any team would like Christian Yelich, feel free to offer Jeets a two-hour jet ski rental and a tour of your double-A stadium.