March 8, 2013

Let’s finish out the week with a double dose of Mountain View Bubble 4.0: this house is a floor wax and a dessert topping. Today’s featured property was brought to you courtesy of Burbed reader bublidoo. Thanks very much for a listing so aerated that we had to go to four different sites until we found a photo of the actual house as it exists today. Yep, pending in a week!

So why is this house nominated for a big ol’ Burbed hug? Let’s check in with our reader whose very name implies Bubble 4.0.

wanted to point out this stunning, newly constructed custom craftsman to you. If it was near good schools or downtown Mountain View (the description claims both … but not sure about "near"), perhaps the price could be justified. But what we’re looking at here …

Perhaps there’s been too much super fun coverage already? In that case, no pressure … and hope you had a chuckle.

Cheers!

Oh no, bublidoo, you can never, ever, ever have too much Super Fun. Want some more? Let’s look at this house over on Redfin, where’ they’ve pulled down the listing and are featuring the before photo (singular) and listing copy.

Did we mention how much we love Pending/Do Not Show? It’s like an extra set of presents we completely missed behind the Christmas tree! And speaking of extra presents, look what we found on Zillow. This is like finding out we’re celebrating Chanukah too, as an added extended family holiday, with bunus presents!

Wow, who knew that side of the family was so artsy? (Or too klutzy to use a camera?) Must be because of those good schools.

February 26, 2013

Updated 11:30 AM – Second house found; see end for details and plenty of pix!

AOL has been doing a real estate area for a while, including a series of videos and articles beyond the listings and search tools. Someone over there must have been reading us, because they did a piece discovering that (gasp!) there are very expensive yet definitely crappy houses for sale in the Real Bay Area. Worse, they had the gall to call this an “AOL original.”

Have they been living under a rock? This has been our signature claim for more than seven years! Let’s listen in as self-important talking heads who don’t bother introducing themselves tell us what we already know. (Warning: dude with beard is extra smug.)

M’kay. There’s some really useless accompanying text, so our mission is to do a slightly better job. Remember, it’s fairly easy to succeed when you set your standards this low.

A sorry-looking shack, with deep cracks in the cinder-block walls and busted windows, that looks like it’s ready to collapse: You wouldn’t pay a dime for that, would you? OK, say it’s nestled in the gorgeous hilltops of the San Francisco Peninsula with no shortage of pristine mountain views. Now how much would you pay? More than $1 million? Well, that’s how much it’s going for.

We’ve probably violated Fair Use by quoting an entire graf, because there’s only one more. There’s also only two homes in the video, and only the more than $1 million OMFG Emerald Hills (Redwood City) place (shown above in a clip from the video) has mountain views. The other (at left, also clipped from the video) is in Willow Glen, and didn’t seem to have any views beyond the neighborhood street.

We were able to find the place in Emerald Lake in about 3 minutes, and it definitely could use a big ol’ Burbed sloppy kiss, Of course it’s already pending. This is the Real Bay Area we’re talking about!

Incredible opportunity in Emerald Hills. Originally three lots under two APN#’s (APN #057-031-480 and APN #057-031-049) which have been combined into one lot at approximately 25,150 SF. The value is in the land and the views of the surrounding hills with easy access to 280. Walk the site and let your imagination run wild. Dream big and build new or renovate. Plans are available for viewing.

We didn’t have the same success in finding the Willow Glen weedery. This one is similar to it (Craftsman style bungalow, over 12,000 square foot lot, to be sold as-is) but we don’t think it’s the right house. Can any enterprising Burbed readers find the house in the video?

Update:House in video found byBurbed reader Chris. See end of this article for details and photos. We’ll also throw in a break as this is starting to get long, so click on through!

February 25, 2013

Okay, vacation’s over. Time to get back to work, and that means heading over to real estate sites to plan on where you really want to live. Boss has the door shut, so fire up those listing websites! And today’s listing was sent (during coffee break) by Burbed reader Divasm.

No photos, just plans. Inappropriate use of quotation marks. A BUNCH OF ALL CAPS TEXT AT THE END. Best of all, construction promised the summer of… three years ago. Oh, this is going to be good. Let’s check in with Big D.

I was browsing listings in San Carlos and came across this $2.1mil gem. It sounds terrific on paper, and I guess I can see why it’s so expensive, San Carlos, 4/4.5, 3500 square feet, built in 2012. But was it really?

The pic shows a sketch, and the satellite view shows a big dirt lot. Perhaps since then a house has popped up for which they offer to show you the plans, but then why not show a pic? Is it because you’re buying a lot and approved plans for $2.1mil? And look at the history, it’s all over the place. If I had any time I’d drive by myself and check it out…but it certainly must have some reason it’s been on the market for 138 days.

Off market until construction complete approximately mid-May. New quality construction. Plans available to view. Go to: www.johnshroyer.com, Click on “My Featured Listings”, scroll to photo of property, disclosures

Mid-May of what year? We’re starting a pool. And who is John Shroyer? What happened to Michael or Genna Armanini? Does their cell phone still work? Did they pay their Summer 2010 bill? How did that FOCUS-LIVE-ENDURE! thing work out for them?

Meanwhile, this construction site gave us some serious déjà vu, and for good reason. Find out why, after the break.

January 24, 2013

How much should land in the Real Bay Area cost, when they aren’t making any more of it? It’s hard to tell, as most of it is already covered with houses. But today’s featured property, courtesy of Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, may help us get an idea. All together now: Mountain View, so close to Google!

3BR/1BA WITH SPACIOUS KITCHEN OVERLOOKING YARD. FEATURES INCLUDE LIVING ROOM WITH REFINISHED HARDWOOD FLOORS, INSIDE LAUNDRY ROOM WITH PANTRY, & APPROVED PLANS FOR REMODEL/EXPANSION INTO SPACIOUS ATTIC AREA. POSSIBLE 4 LOT SUBDIVISION ON APPROXIMATELY 40,000SF LOT (. 93 ACRES). OUTSTANDING DEVELOPMENT OPTIONS WITH ACCESS FROM BRYANT FILOMENA COURT. IDEALLY LOCATED IN WELL ESTABLISHED NEIGHBORHOOD.

You know the agent is just phoning this one in to long list of OPPORTUNITY-minded investors. Otherwise, this house with all its expansion plans could have easily been featured instead of just an aerial shot. Heck, Google even managed to find something once we realized the Redfin map was pointing to the wrong place (over at Beaumont and Apricot, and wonder why that happened, huh?)

Also look at this very odd cul-de-sac that abuts the property (right underneath the lot on the lower right). Looks like it only culled half de sac.

So, do you think land in Mountain View in a good zip without the good schools is worth a million for a quarter acre? Can you make money as a developer when your land costs are that high? New homes in nearby Enclave at Waverly Park development (the old Pumpkin Patch property) went for $2M+, but they built 53 big houses there. Hard to get economies of scale when this lot will support four of them.

January 15, 2013

Want to be a real estate mover and shaker? Start today by buying this property that features 2, yes (2) lots! Think of all the ways you could take advantage of this amazing zoning opportunity. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending us this salubrious spread in Santa Clara!

Wow, was that listing copy written by an attorney who doesn’t want anyone to notice the details? Or perhaps a claustrophobic, because whoever typed that in is afraid of spaces. Now let’s have a good look at this opportunity with an existing 52 year old house that encroaches on New Property Line.

The red line appears to be for Lot #1, the bigger 8614 sf parcel. As you can see it cuts through the east side of the existing house, but fortunately, it did not bring the cooties of Santa Clara Schools all the way to the front door.

Yes, we hope you noticed that Lot #1 is Cupertino Schools and Lot #2 isn’t. But wait! There’s more!

See those little words in the driveway? Yes, technically your driveway is an actual city street that ends a few feet before the back fence. Here’s another look at the neighborhood.

So not only do you have one house with several inches on the other lotline, you also have a named city street taking up most of it.

How are you going to design your way out of this configuration? We assume one of the lots boasts a Portal to Hell for extra storage.

One other solution: Street Fair Every Day. Now we’re talking Serious Opportunity! Call up some of those Gourmet Food Trucks, have them kick back some of the take, and you’ll be paying this place off in no time.

January 5, 2013

The median Home Value in Mountain View, according to Zillow, is $877,900. So what could you get for that amount, if you looked for a house in some other part of the country? If you were willing to look in Maryland, you could get this nice painting of a house. Plus HOA fees every month!

Holy crap, that’s a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS for the same price you’d pay in Mountain View. Plus you get a house that hasn’t even been built yet, so you have no idea of the build quality or the feng shui. And just think of how much work it’s going to be mowing an entire acre or dusting 4500 sf of house.

For this much money in Mountain View, you’d be looking at a vintage one bedroom from 1948,on a 6969 sf foot lot (we’re just reporting the listing, we’re not making innuendos). It boasts a spacious 914 foot floor plan. Plus the comparable Maryland place, while near such cosmopolitan confluences like Laytonsville,is 2831 miles from Google (we checked). In current traffic that’s a whizzy 41 hour commute. One way.

January 3, 2013

There are several types of housing awesomeness we cover. There’s the high-priced crapshack, the WTF You’re Kidding, the completely overdone custom home, the adorable domicile with serious location fail such as an international airport. Then there’s the tried and true House Flip. We all love flips because they all use the same formula.

Start work tomorrow! Rare opportunity and no waiting. Permit fees have been paid and plans are in hand for a complete remodel/addition of this cute 1500 SF. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bath home with spacious kitchen/greatroom on a large (9625 SF), level lot with an existing garage. To help save even more time and money, the interior of the home has been stripped to the framing. Great location with L. G. schools

Have they left out Phase 2? Let’s hear from nomadic:

A flipper bought this house in May, stripped the house down to the studs and put it up for sale in November. He thinks those services (plus permits) are worth $175k. Is the market really that crazy? Maybe not, given that it’s still active after 30 days.

The “Zestimate” is $945k. Unfortunately, the prior listing isn’t available on Redfin so we can’t tell if the current seller did anything at all, other than buy at a favorable price – which actually probably wasn’t particularly good, given that this nearby house sold in July for $700k (larger but with Hwy 17 in the back yard) before being flipped – as a FINISHED house – for $999k.

To help save even more time and money, why not leave the flippers out of the entire transaction? Which leaves a realtard out too!

October 3, 2012

Our readers have mentioned what they’re looking for in an ideal home. Some want a big, well-organized kitchen, some want spectacular views, some want the best school district possible. And since Silicon Valley is We-Built-That Central, we’ve heard from many readers who want nothing more than a lot of garage and workshop space. This lascivious Los Gatos listing, lobbed in by Burbed reader nomadic, may be where you’ll end up dropping your tools, banging your head, and having the time of your life.

A trunkey Mediterranean (sic)! 7 car garages (huh?) 2 of the bedrooms are suits with Jacuzzis (how do you keep the water out of your shoes?)

Purchased at the height of the bubble for $2.3M, now in the “middle of remodeling” and the seller is trying for $2.9M. Comparing with the 2008 listing, it looks like they added 1500sf, but I suspect that’s the size of the “guest house” because looking at the site, it doesn’t appear that they’ve expanded the house. The bedroom/bath counts match up with the old 2008 listing too.

I go past this house regularly, and it seems like they’ve been working on the new tile roof for at least a year. I figured the owner was doing it himself and was low on cash.

Alas, the listing doesn’t show the garage as it goes through construction. Instead, all we get are exterior shots such as this smoggy and obstructed view of Milpitas, except there’s a bunch of buildings blocking The Great Mall. (The photo at right is from the aforementioned old listing.)

Fortunately, nomadic took some actual on-site pictures! Ready?

As promised, here are the pictures of the current state of the house on Harwood. It’s kind of bizarre that he started putting pavers down for the driveway and quit part way through. Usually you can put them in pretty quickly once the hard part (the base and leveling) is done.

The guest house (bottom left) looks kind of abandoned, just like the main house. The view from the main house is pretty good; you can see Communications Hill (no big deal) and downtown San Jose.

Still can’t see the Great Mall. Might as well go back to the garage and enjoy that seller financing.

August 30, 2012

Today’s house is absolutely, positively, we promise and pinky swear, really, truly NOT IN MOUNTAIN VIEW. It isn’t even in Palo Alto. Today, we are headed up to Contra Costa County, where Burbed reader J from Alameda has a little real estate riddle for us.

Meanwhile, are you someone who doesn’t live in or look at houses in Mountain View or Palo Alto? If you find one that’s #winning, send it on over! Heck, send us more houses in Mountain View and Palo Alto too. We’re willing to point and laugh at almost anything.

Over the hills and through the woods….I just had to send this in (not going anywhere fast) its just such an incredible RBA price per square foot – $2583 – but not in the RBA. Now you get a lovely barn, sport court and ‘guest house’ with one bedroom and one bath….some teeny tiny grape vines – and yes, that lovely cement pad just waiting for its 5,700 sf, give or take – house. What, by the way is sport court? And, it’s not even in the RBA! It’s a long way down the hill(s) to get on Orinda Bart (yes, Bart) to get to RBA land. Or the other hill into the backside of Oakland.

And the realator was nice enough to note – those 40 some odd acres are zoned agricultural – meaning, I imagine, no subdividing. What, exactly, was the original buyer thinking? Spec guest house? Forget to leave some money in the budget for the house?

Ps – out looking at houses on Sunday and drove by the half finished house – the one with the lovely garbage can shot on Olympic (Lafayette?) – I recognized the plywood. Looks about the same.

Wait, wait, you left out the best part. The street name is half English, half Mandarin! We can’t figure out if it’s named for where the quail are run over by vehicles or merely shot by Dick Cheney.

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The posts on this weblog are provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and only represent the view of Burbed.com's editor. Comments are the views of commenters, not Burbed. If companies, properties, etc are mentioned on this blog, you should assume that I have a financial stake in them. Trust no one.