1. When you hug a woman at the end of a date, if you have any romantic intentions whatsoever, do not "bro-pat" her on the back.

2. If you are fortunate enough to have a girlfriend not wear underwear with her sexy black dress, do not announce it at the dinner party when there's a lull in conversation.

3. My mother always told me that if a guy mentions his ex three times or more on a first date, he should automatically be given the "I really like you, but..." treatment. I love my mother, but she's wrong: You get one freebie mention.

4. Here's an extra tip: Use that freebie to say something nice about her and you're much more likely to get in our knickers.

5. If you think your waitress is hot, don't tell your date. She may well confide in the waitress in the bathroom, indicate what an insensitive schmuck you are, and the waitress, who will always choose female solidarity over your powerful skills of observation, will probably spit on your prime rib.