Being free and unencumbered by materialistic excesses is great, but there comes a time when a man must face up to reality and say: Yes, it's time to buy some decent furniture. Especially when the beloved significant other says that, too.

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You're a person in your twenties or thirties in a major metropolitan area with some taste and not a lot of cash? You're doubtless familiar with that enormous blue building with all the furniture with funny names that you assemble when you get home. We're sizing up a new bed this weekend — and in the process having a slightly depressing debate about truck rental vs. delivery. Speed and sharp handling are great, folks, but you must bow to pragmatism once in a while too.

I like wagons and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny, When a Jag rolls by With a sporty profile And a roof that goes for miles You get jacked! Wanna stop and play Tetris with your bags, 'Cause it's got room in the back to brag.

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring. Oh baby, I wanna be your buyer, And smoke your tires. My homeboys tried to phase me But that butt you got makes me so crazy! Ooh, so roomy within, I say to them others "What's a Benz?"

Say, "Use me, hoon me" 'Cause you ain't just for cargo moving. I've seen them stancin' Afraid to go dancin' Sideways in the wet Oversteer like a turbo 'Vette.