Uh, Guys, I Don’t Think It Was The Russians

While separatists armed by Putin almost definitely shot down Malaysia Airline Flight MH17 yesterday over the Ukraine, new information suggests far more sinister forces may be at work here. Buzzfeed reports:

More than 100 delegates and family members of the 20th International AIDS Conference, due to begin Sunday, were on board Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17, the Australian, the Star Observer, and the Age reported Friday morning local time.

That’s right. The top AIDS researchers in the entire world were on that plane. And who has AIDS? Magic Johnson. And who wants Magic Johnson to keep having AIDS and possesses an obscene amount of wealth necessary to strategically place Buk missile systems in European war zones?

♫ AIDS-finger, he’s the man, the man with the Midas touch,
A spider’s touch, such an AIDS-finger… ♫