So this is what I have to do to get a girl?

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Looking around the world I realise these are strange times. Long story short; on Saterday I have to say to this girl's mom;
'Sometimes I like to strangle myself and watch my life pass before my eyes, it gives me a rush, kinda like when I slit my wrists last Chrismas.'

Am I missing something, what strange things do you have to do for girls?

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Sometimes I buy them a bracelet or something... usually offering a shoulder rub is good.. then work to the back... and so forth

I offered to take my current female interest to see Cats and that worked. I don't do the shoulder rubbing thing because every time I do theres always a joke about how strong my right hand is compared to my left hand.

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Long story short; on Saterday I have to say to this girl's mom;
'Sometimes I like to strangle myself and watch my life pass before my eyes, it gives me a rush, kinda like when I slit my wrists last Chrismas.'

What the Fuck?

Silverwyvern said:

Back in the day before I met Dan.. it's our 3rd year dating today, by the way :D

Sweet deal. Happy anniversary or something for you two. *hugs*

Anyway, as for girls, I have to repeatedly call them until they promise to take me out to a movie.

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Usually I turn introspective and shy until women are compelled to come up and ask me out. Sometimes, taking a shower helps. There was one time I didn't have sex for two-and-a-half years, and that helped. By removing myself from the dating pool, I'd allowed just any ugly old thing to come up and talk to me-- proving the effect of reverse psychology. It worked well, as I'd lowered my standards quite a bit by then.

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I'm extra dumb. Just today a girl came up to me and said I was lucky because almost every girl in the class wanted to have my babies. Of course, here I am, while all my friends are at the soph hop :P I guess that makes a super loser :D

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dress up as jesus and tell them that God has chosen them for holy dicklicking

Hahaha.

Its not that I hate Christians, its that I don't think I could ever marry a Christian. Our ideaologies would clash and the relationship would end sooner than it started. I guess I could try to unconvert her, but I don't believe in forcing beliefs on other people.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say I know a bunch of lesbian chicks too. Lesbian, religious, or in a relationship. It's a hard knock life. But I knock harder.