Miss Lake Mexia Rides Again!

Sunday, December 31, 2017

It's pitiful, really. Miss Lake's first New Year's Eve as a prestigious award does not find her in the Little Apple of Manhattan, Kansas, awaiting the drop of a giant apple (No shit. That's really a thing in Manhattan. Apple drops 24 feet. People go crazy. Isn't a long trip for most of them.). Nor is she out on the town in Wamego (We have two liquor stores, a bar, and 3 stop lights so it's possible).

Nope, she's holed up with 2 old people who seem to think that 9:00 p.m. on NEW YEAR'S EVE is time to go to bed (and not "go to bed" if you know what I mean, and I think you do).

A contributing factor could be that it is ONE DEGREE outside which is pretty cold even for a solid gold award. Miss Lake is, after all, wearing only a bikini.

Because I know you are curious, those are 5k race numbers on the bulletin board. Sorry that I couldn't figure out a way to do a 5k AND carry Miss Lake along. Frankly, it was all I could do to keep myself upright most of the time.

On behalf of Miss Lake and the Geriatric Unit of 901 Lilac Lane, happy new year - at whatever time you celebrate!

Merry Christmas from Miss Lake Mexia, currently of Wamego, Kansas. While she could make some half-assed argument that she was a good girl this year, photos of her in close proximity to police cars on at least 4 occasions would tell a different story.

Hopefully, the year will end without Miss Lake having to pay a bondsman or waking up in a stranger's refrigerator. Again. (Don't ask. It was an embarrassing situation for everyone involved.)

As near as anyone can tell, she is looking forward to her upcoming trip to Las Vegas. No one should mention that she will be making the journey in a suitcase. Some things are better left unsaid until the last minute.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Miss Lake had the pleasure of having dinner with the AGR men of Kansas State.

They thought she was a hoot (imagine that) and some suggestion was made about her being part of their float in the homecoming parade. As it turned out, the sorority women who were actually in charge of the float were jealous of Miss Lake's physique and reported that she "wouldn't fit in" with their float theme.

In late August, Miss Lake, her caretaker, and her caretaker's son all headed to Colorado. Because they could, their route took them to Colorado Springs by way of Dodge City (home of the best Mexican food restaurant in all the land). It was hard to find very much colorful about Colorado at the state line; however, there were grasshoppers as big as Miss Lake, so that was something.

Several long hours later, from her spot on the dashboard, Miss Lake got her first glimpse of the mountains. Actually, you could see the mountains way before this, but she just wasn't paying attention. Or it could have been because she was facing the wrong way.

The long weekend was spent in Green Mountain Falls, Colorado, a quaint mountain village which has seen many visits from Miss Lake's human caretakers.

There was an interesting light display in one of the city parks. Hundreds of light bulbs, powered by the sun, covered the park. Not much to look at during the day, but it was spectacular once the sun went down.

Miss Lake made an appearance at Cave of the Winds. She didn't join along on all the mountain hikes, though. Word on the street is that Miss Lake is basically lazy and only goes where someone will carry her golden spoiled ass.

At Garden of the Gods, Miss Lake posed for a picture. This was right before she told a racist bigot to shut his mouth. (True story, except that it wasn't Miss Lake who was doing the talking. There really was a mouthy racist who was lucky Sarah didn't take his head off. Sarah's son was glad he always travels with bond money.)

On a clear day, the view of Pikes Peak from Woodland Park, Colorado. On a cloudy day, it's not quite so grand, but by Kansas standards, still pretty good.

Half past dawn o'clock and ready to head home.

Is this Miss Lake's 2nd or 3rd run in with The Man? Apparently trying to get through eastern Colorado as fast as possible is frowned upon. Miss Lake exercised her right to remain silent.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

In June, my son and I participated in the Finish on the 50 5k at Arrowhead Stadium.

Before we went to the starting line, I asked my son to take our photo. A photo in which I was holding Miss Lake. Luke took the shot, shut off the phone and off we went to walk/run 3.4 miles. The best part of the race is getting on the field by way of the player's tunnel and having our picture on the Jumbo-Tron.

The worst part? At the finish line, the bastards ran out. of. water. How does that even happen? I lost about 20 gallons of sweat and there was no water at the finish line. The organizers are lucky I didn't drop dead upon hearing the news. Had I though, Luke might have gotten a free ticket or two to a Chiefs game. He might have thought it was all worth it.

It was only later that we realized in Luke's effort to make sure both he and I were in the frame, he cut Miss Lake out! He promised to work on his selfie skills.

Every February for the last 12 years, Curtis and I go to Port Aransas, Texas, for a quasi-family reunion. It began when Dubya was president and the purpose of gathering was to impeach him. (The group that meets thinks we are WAY more important than we really are.) Politically, there is always something to bitch discuss, so even without a president to impeach (Thanks, Obama!), we decided to meet every February to drink, talk politics, surround ourselves with other liberals (and for those of us from Kansas and Texas, this is a wonderful benefit), and watch a basketball game on TV.

This morning way before dawn, we headed south. Miss Lake Mexia was along for the ride. The trip this year was going to include a special detour.

We were stopping at Lake Mexia.

That's right....THE Lake Mexia.

I was hoping to find out why Miss Lake Mexia was riding again.

Miss Lake arrives in the state of her birth. Or at least the state of her purchase.

Located in east Texas, Mexia was the home of Anna Nicole Smith. (If I were making this up, honestly, would I pick Anna Nicole Smith for the celebrity born there?)

Mexia doesn't have much, but it does have a lake. And a recreational area.

Doesn't she look happy to be home?

I'm smiling because I'm ready to get back to civilization. My "Love Trumps Hate" bumper sticker is likely to get me killed. The people living around this lake did not get the memo that the South lost the Civil War.

Miss Lake was sad about leaving Lake Mexia until I explained that we were on our way to Victoria, Texas, for amazing barbecue.

*As I write this on October 1, Victoria had some major damage due to Hurricane Harvey. My fingers are crossed that by the time we return to Port Aransas (which may be a very long time), our favorite BBQ will be open again.

This kid didn't even blink when I asked if I could take his photo with Miss Lake.

Guess a crazy woman carrying a statue happens more often than we think.

Miss Lake loves the beach life!

It's true - - life is better on the beach.

Except for the rattlesnakes. I shit you not.

We stopped in Denton on the way home. This police car was at our hotel long enough for Miss Lake to have her photo taken with it.

Miss Lake is a wonderful traveling companion who fits nicely in a purse or backpack. Or on the dashboard of my car.

Miss Lake has been on the staff of Kansas State University for one month and it was time for her to earn her keep. (You would be surprised to know how much alcohol this plastic woman consumes. She and Sarah Palin are no doubt related.)

To ease her into the high pressure world of student legal services, she was on the job at a rental information fair in the Student Union today. Miss Lake supervised the Off-Campus Housing Support director as he advised students on the finer points of tenants rights.

Although Miss Lake is reasonably quiet (until she gets wound up due to the aforementioned alcohol), she made it clear in her own special way that she's not crazy about the temperature in Kansas in February. She's a real Texas girl, this one.