We're less cool with the markets' worst Christmas Eve ever. The Dow lost nearly 700 points as President Trump tweet-shamed the Fed Chairman for raising interest rates. Then Asian markets dropped while US ones were closed for holiday arguing.

Nama-stay in the app... Mindbody's not just a digital concierge to book that 6pm Vinyasa Flow or 45-minute Recycle Studio spin ride. Its software is constantly bench-pressing health and wellness data on 35M athleisure-coated customers -- It knows when, where, and how you prefer sweating. That's valuable stuff.

The Takeaway: Mindbody needs a spotter... Founded in '01, Mindbody hasn't been profitable and shares are down 25% this year (before the generous acquisition offer). It recently splurged $200M to buy other scheduling apps, but Mindbody needs a hands-on adjustment from its new instructor.

2. "The Mnuchin Call" was this year's awkward coal

It's like the babysitter calling... just to tell the parents "Everything is great! No issue with the kids eating lead paint here! Have a fun date night." While vacaying hard in Cabo, Mexico, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin issued a press release telling us he talked to CEOs of the 6 biggest banks. And everything is fiiiine.

Shows his boss he was working... And he claims banks have plenty of money to handle a market downturn and not ask for government bailouts. Nobody thought that was an issue (it was back in '08, but we've come a long way since the financial crisis). Now people think it's an issue. So they tanked markets.

The Takeaway: Investors believe in valuations and growth... (Steve didn't mention those). Stock prices today are 20% less on average than they were 84 days ago at their highs. That's because investors have re-calculated what stocks are worth based on econ valuations and profit growth. Government PR fluff can't do that.

What else we're 'Snacking

Venture: A Danish startup makes underwear you can healthfully wear for weeks