As lay here poolside viewing North Miami’s beach, I can’t help but to feel blessed. I know its been a LONG while since my last post, but God has opened so many new doors for me and pray you all would understand.

Since my last post, I was fired from Long Days, Late Nights blog site. Shocker, I know. Like who in their right mind would fire me, I’m a freaking rock star. LOL I don’t even believe that. But No hard feelings to my serious Editor, I learned so much from him in the short amount of time I worked with him. Only wish hi the best. God is awesome, I tell ya! As one door closed, He opened up a FEW others. I started my radio career. This s huge for me, many don’t know this but since I was a small child, I’ve LOVED radio and have ALWAYS wanted to work in radio. Well God has allowed me to finally open up, move out of my own way and pursue a life long dream. As of right now, I’m on air three times a week. Sunday 2-5 Tuesday and Wednesday 5-8 on New Jersey Web Radio. I am grateful.

See because i am not in school, all the internship programs attached to “Big Time” stations will not allow me to intern. So instead of giving up, I found a platform in which i could get all the experience I can get right now. I am blessed. At first I was terrified. I spent HOURS in the station learning how to run the board. I created my show from scratch by literally studying audio, from Wendy Williams radio show, Angie Martinez, Miss Jones, Deja Vu, Egypt, and The Breakfast Club just to name a few. I came up with different segments, I book different people to interview with me. The only think I have not bee able to master is the DJ part. I’m finding it had to find DJ’s that will come in for free to do a 30-45 min set. But I don’t fret, the show MUST go on. The show has been teaching me A LOT, and I thank God for the opportunity.

I haven’t been writing/blogging as much. But different opportunities have been forcing me to get to work. Recently, I was afforded a media pass to do the RED CARPET of BLACK GIRLS ROCK! Now for me, this is HUGE. I was out there conducting interviews along the side of media power houses such as MTV, BET, Hello Beautiful, Huffington Post, NEWARK MAG, Sway In The Morning, TV ONE, the list goes on and on. And here I am this grown ass, tall ass women on my very FIRST red carpet event!!! To say excited and nervous in an UNDERSTATEMENT!!! I was nervous as F**K. I don’t talk things like this lightly. I know there are people who studied this craft and I would never disrespect them or myself in any way. I had a blast that night. Even got to watch a “Bucket list” concert. I got to sit in the actual tapping for BRG!!!! I witnessed Brandy, Monica, Jazmine, Gladys, and Lauren perform for FREE!!! Man I didn’t even get into the after party yet! My SNAP was LIT! Queen Moths Erykah Badu DJ’ed free food and drinks, and amazing room of people. Again I am blessed.

Now fast forward to my current situation. I am in Miami on vacation visiting two of my Fordham teammates Lisa and Jade. It’s been a while since I’ve seen these two amazing women. For me these women are family (RAMily as I like to call my FU sisters/friends). Originally I came down to only vacation, but I had the bright Idea to interview these two. See for some of you that may not know, Jade and Lisa are pretty amazing women. Jade is just returning from India where she worked with the Jr. NBA for the past six months. And Lisa, who graciously allowed me to stay in her BEAUTIFUL home while here in MIA, is like a freaking Wonder Woman. Beside the fact that her children’s clothing line LIVLY is taking the fashion world by storm and can now be found in Barneys New York. She is a loving wife, mother of four adorable children (Liv, Lily, Marley, and Miles), successful business woman, and bad ass! Later on tonight I will be interviewing these two, to share their stories with the world.

I thank God for his grace and mercy every day of my life. Although I am not exactly where I want to be, I am moving closer to all of my dreams. Stay tuned for the interview on my social media sites, but major publications as well! I’m about to hop in the pool to cool off a bit. I will talk to you guys soon.

Continue to keep being the change you wish to see in the world! TTYL 🙌🏾✌🏾😜

I am STILL on a high! But before I go all the way in on this blog, let me give you guys a precursor. Please don’t get it twisted! Although I am a HUGE fan of Ms. Lauryn Hill, if I felt like her show was bad I would say so. I am not bias when it comes to live performances. So with that being said, MS. HILL JUST GAVE ME LIFE LAST NIGHT!.

Yes this was a #BucketListConcert for me. I became a TRUE Lauryn Hill fan pretty late in life. I think it was Spring of 2000, I was playing AAU with the NJ Monarchs. We were all piled in this van going someplace, and in the background, Ms. Hill was playing. Now let me be clear, I knew who L-Boogie was in these Fugee streets. I loved her in Sister Act 2, her singles played all the time. But prior to this particular road trip, I never took the time to fully and truly listened to The Miseducation. Please don’t shoot me, I was young!!! My life consist of Gospel, Jazz, Country, Church, School and Basketball. I didn’t have older siblings that let me sneak and listen to their music. Therefore, my education on anything outside of theses things were a tad bit delayed.

I will never forget the moment my life changed. As we are riding along crammed in this van, Every Ghetto, Every City starts to play. Now me being a Newark Girl (Brick City Born and Raised). Ms. Hill had my ear, “Story starts in Hoodaville, Grew Up NEXT To IVY Hill”. Wait, what Hoodaville, Ivy Hill, THAT’S MY NEIGHBORHOOD, I thought to myself. As I attentively set up, took notice, and witness Ms. Lauryn Hill run down every spot of my life. S. Orange Ave, Boylen Pool, Main St, Springfield Ave, Frelinghuysen, Hawthorne and Chancellor’s beef, Hillside, P-S-P… I felt like my heart was pumping out of my chest! Like I knew Lauryn and the Fugees were from NJ, but it wasn’t until this day that I knew they were FROM NJ. Not just NJ but MY NJ. This was the first time I’d ever heard someone break down so much about my childhood and area I grew up in, I was hooked. I’m sure my Monarch teammates were so done with me, I asked Coach Fu to run the track back like three times! Since that day, I could never get enough of Ms. Hill!

All that being said, coming into last night’s concert I was already on a natural high! I purchased a solo ticket, and took my happy self to the concert. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous about the show. Listening to all the “stories” one hears about L-Boogie, I expected her to be 3 hrs late, and we wouldn’t leave until like after 2am. Although all the rumors stated Ms. Hill usually put on a bad show, I wasn’t worried. I had faith! Shoot, clearly Ms. Hill loves NJ like I do, so I KNEW she was going to put on a GREAT show!

Based on me knowing Ms. Hill was going to be a little late, I didn’t leave my house until 8pm.Got to venue by like 8:20, parked, stood on line for about 10 mins and walked damn near straight to front of the stage! Ms. Hill hit the stage at around 9:40 which is NOT bad for an 8pm show. I think the longest I ever waited was at the Jay and Em concert at Yankee Stadium. This is pretty common in the hip-hop world of concerts so I was cool. So here I am, in all my glory waiting for Ms. Lauryn Hill to hit the stage. While waiting for Ms. Hill, made friends with a group from Brooklyn who recently moved to NJ. As the DJ started to spin, I’m Snap Chatting my life away, in anticipation of Ms. Hill!

And then she walks out, and my life is again changed forever! Man people say the b.s about Lauryn Hill, but she put on an AMAZING show last night!!!! I tried to catch every bit of it on camera. Had to put my phone down a few times to fully be in the moment of the vocal and lyrical BEAST OF A WOMAN!!! I imagine Ms. Hill to be a perfectionist, because she wanted nothing but greatness from her band, as she directed her life throughout the concert. I am still in awe about what I witnessed last night.

Over all Ms. Hill is simply put A BEAST! I stood in amazement as she flexed her vocal talent, and laced the crowd with lyrical insightful rhythms. I tried to share as much as I could to the people to prove that Ms. Hill is always and forever a GEM in this wold of music. I was doing a pretty good job, my twitter, IG, FB, and Periscope followers were loving Ms. Hill. I feel bad because for whatever reason, my phone started acting up during the BEST performance of the night. Sorry to my Periscope friends. My phone was acting up on the BEST SONG OF THE NIGHT!Ms. Hill slayed, killed, gave life, killed again and gave more life through her Nina Simone “Feeling Good” rendition!!!! WHY WASN’T Ms. HILL BOOKED FOR THE NINA MOVIE AGAIN 😒😶😐🤔 󾌦?! Ms Lauryn Hill not only CAME THROUGH NJ, but she gave her soul!!!!

I am still on a natural high! Ms. Lauryn Hill gave me life last night! Vocally STILL A BEAST in the game. Her lyrical rhythms left me speechless. I still feel like a little kid lol all night I dreamt about the show! I’m blessed!! Ms Lauryn Hill not only CAME THROUGH NJ, but she gave her soul!!!! Again s/o to my 🔌 Amanda Chanel Hill and Jazmine Wright, I was simply happy to be in the building! Even if y’all couldn’t have, I was excited! But y’all did and made my life that much more amazing! The ONLY thing that would have made my life even better is if Ms. Hill had performed Every Ghetto, Every City. But I have no complaints. Love and Peace to the Queen Ms. Lauryn Hill THANK YOU! 👸🏾👑💁🏾🙌🏾🔥✌🏾😘

Initially when I clicked on The Shade’s Room article of Sage The Gemini’s IG post to Ex girlfriend Jordin Sparks, I thought I had no clue who this guy was. Clearly I have a life because I didn’t even know Jordin bagged herself another boo. Last I heard (or paid attention to) was her break up with Jason Derulo. However, earlier today Sage took to his Instagram page to air his feelings out about his missed love Jordin Sparks.

As I’m reading the story, of course I HAD to figure out who this guy is. So what did I do? I went on Sage’s IG page to do more research (this guy is a little cutie). After about 5 minutes, I learned that this Sage The Gemini, is the same guy that sung that Red Nose song. Y’all know the “She Gona Shake It, Like A Red Nose, LIIIKKKE A RED NOSE”. Lo key, this was my song real quick. I’m more than sure I’ve partaking in a few “Red Nose” dance battles with my homegirls (judge me I don’t care 😝). But back to his post.

Although I think his intention were coming from a sincere place, I couldn’t help to notice a few key words that may indicate Mr. Gemini really isn’t missing Jordin in the sense of true love.

“You the only girl that can wake up out of a dead sleep and get me some water because I was coughing in my sleep the only girl that loves me the way you were supposed to.” I’m pretty sure a lot of us women have gotten up in the middle of the night to get Bae some water bc his ass was keeping us up with all his coughing. But this act is never something any woman is SUPPOSED TO DO! These are acts of love.

“But yea this shit is crazy I just wanna tell you I’m still being a good boy just incase you come to your senses”. Sir, it would have been nice if you were “being a good boy” when you were with Jordin. But what do you mean “Come to your senses” LMAO 😂😂😂, for the sake of romance, I pray that this is some type of inside joke the couple understands. If not sir, please take several seats!!!

“Please call me back I just want like a hug and a kiss or something. Sincerely Dominic Wynn Woods”.So Sage you don’t want to talk, you want a hug, a kiss, or something. So this is a physical thing for you. This guy keeps digging a deeper grave.

No shade to Sage The Gemini, and his new age attempt at getting his woman back. However, his post seemed to only focus on his selfishness in the relationship. Almost every reason he gives of why he wants Jordin back has to do with how she treated him. What she did to and for HIM. Not once did we see an apology or any accountability as to what Sage did wrong in the relationship. No he doesn’t owe the reader any of this, but if his actions were honestly to woo Jordin back into his life, he definitely went about it the wrong way.

In life, people take other’s for granted. In life people often miss people not actually for who the other person is, but instead what the person did for them. No doubt Sage misses Jordin, it is evident in his IG post. However, I think Sage needs to evaluate himself, and make whatever changes he needs to make for a healthy Sage/relationship moving forward. His previous IG post clearly show that he wants love and has a good heart (extending an invite to all the single people to meet up and go bowling on Valentine’s Day). But he has some personal growth to do.

If Jordin decides to take him back, it is ultimately up to her. The choice is her’s and no one else’s. If she does, hopefully they can forgive each other and move forward, I would hope she knows and understands her worth. I am not hating on Sage, as a matter of fact the post was kinda cute and romantic (in a new age social media world), but I understand what a healthy relationship is and looks like. And in my opinion, of the quick glimpse of information I’ve interpided via his post, this guy needs to continue to do his work, and grow as a man.

Saw this image on someone’s FaceBook page earlier today. I instantly liked the pic, but it got me to thinking. Recently I am in a rebuild/transitional stage in my life. I’ve become more aware and actively holding myself accountable for my very uncomfortable situation, I have been in the last few years. I acknowledge my bullshit. I’ve written plans, and working towards solutions to reach all my goals. I try to forgive myself often and as quickly as possible, so I don’t harp on my mishaps. This is hard for me, I’m a perfectionist, and I over analyze EVERYTHING! Again, I know my BS and working on growing. I learn from myself, my actions, and make myself accountable.Dear future husband, I have absolutely no problem with working on me, I will acknowledged and apologize for my foolishness quickly. I am however still progressively learning how to stop doing some of the negative, and break the cycle of my generational crap. Working every day towards being the best Jada I can be.

This Jada I am working to become is a freaking rockstar! She has her shit together, all across the board. Financially, great credit, kind heartened, goal oriented, dream catcher, career thriving, living life in light as much as possible, loving, kind, in a heathy relationship with herself and her MAN. This Jada has a man that loves ALL of her, and she actually trust him to build and grow a bomb ass DYNASTY/FAMILY TOGETHER.

So back to the pic posted. When I read it, I liked it. I know too many women/men in the world who don’t want to work for the dream. They simply want the fantasy already assembled. No shade to these people, they know the game, and somehow figure out how to get others to take care of them.

Calling myself on my own personal bullshit, majority of the men I’ve dated have been bums. No ambition, no drive, no future, stuck in a ghetto mental telepathy as I once was. I’ve allowed men to take from me without providing ANYTHING to my life other than stress. It wasn’t their fault at all, I ALLOWED this to happen. Because my self esteem, worth, and thoughts of myself were so negative and messy, these are the type of men I attracted in my life.

When I did date the more established and ambition men (lawyer, teacher, detective, sheriff, professional athlete), I ALLOWED them to treat me like shit because I wasn’t happy with me. Let me keep it all the way real, some of them didn’t even treat me like crap, I didn’t believe that I was worthy enough to be seen with them. I felt like because I didn’t have a big ass, didn’t own my own loft/condo, bad credit, no savings, pretty much because I wasn’t a “bad bitch” as described by social media and reality tv, I wasn’t desirable.

I am no longer this woman! Because of my evolution into Rock Star Jae, I now understand, appreciate, and know my worth and what I bring to the table (I’ve got IT). Not to toot my own horn, but even with my sometimes EXTREMELY annoying behaviors, and geeky nature, I’m pretty BOMB, and a lot of men have been TRYING to be on team Jae. Because they see this light, of confidence, intelligence, determination, and know my views on building a dynasty with my future mate, they want me to help them GET IT because I’ve GOT IT. What’s even crazier, is this is the just the beginning. When I figure out how to effectively budget, save, and build wealth, I’m going to really be the 💩.

I digress back to picture posted. There is a very thin line between working with someone to help you GET IT, and one who will work to GET YOU because you GOT IT. Let me break it down a little more. Within this evolution, I’ve come across men who only want to be with me because they want me to SAVE them, or they think because of my current situation, I need to be SAVED. I find this trait in usually weak minded, insecure men. Now I am not saying I am better than anyone. I am simply saying I will not and can not “SAVE” any man. A man has to want the best for himself.

Example, I recently took this man up on his offer to take me out. Mind you, this is date number one. On this said date, he was 15 mins late for our date because I asked to meet him at the restaurant instead of meeting him at his house. I would normally leave after the first 5 mins but I’m working on my personal hang ups, so I stuck around. Less than 10 mins into the date, he offered to have my transmission fixed in exchange for me being his “woman” not WIFE. Not saying I would have accepted his proposal had he said wife, but after sitting and talking with this man for an hour, he let me know he had no plans for marriage.

After turning down his offer, we started the usual first day questions of single 30+ yr olds. Some how he felt comfortable enough to as me if I would help him with his company 😳. TF?! Astonished that he really had the nerve to ask me that, on a first date, I played it cool (new leaf, working on being less “bitchy” as some call it). I asked him about his business, his business plan/proposal, I asked did he have a grant/loan already, how was he funding his business. He told me, his aunt who helps him here and there with money, connected him with her older female friend who is writing his proposal and funding his company with out asking for any percentage 😳. Trying to save time and spare his feelings, I let him know I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that with a man I am not married to, let alone making that much of a commitment with a man I’ve only known for 30 mins. This man had the nerve to be offened, but not before he asked me to help him find a truck for his company. At this point all types of red flags are going off in my head. Not only is this man lazy AF, HE isn’t invested in his company. Why TF would I be?!?! The final straw was him asking if believed in him. I POLITELY told him no. Based on the look on his face, I may as well have laughed in his face. I told him that the fact of the matter was, I didn’t know him and based on our last hour together, I couldn’t believe in him because HE DID NOT BELIEVE IN HIM. He would rather find women to do all the work for him and rep the benefit. He paid for dinner, I left a good tip like I usually do. This man counted it and put $5 of the tip I left for the waiter into his pocket. He walked me to my car, I haven’t spoken to his since.

Dear future husband, with all this being said, I have NO problem working with a man who wants and is actively doing is own work to become the best man he can be. I do however have a problem with men who want others to do ALL the work for them. These are usually very unhealthy people which lead to unhealthy relationships. I simply want no part. I personally NEED a God fearing, spiritual man who will be the head of our dynasty. A man who will lead, and provide. I need a man who is strong enough in who he is to know his faults and work towards greatness. A man who confidently knows I am working as well. I need a stable partner who is trustworthy. A foundation of trust in each other’s moves, believing that the moves we are making both together and separately, will harvest the foundation of a great future.

I’ll admit it, I’ve been in a funk! I’m so ready for the next step, I’m going to need God to come on through and give me light. Although it may sound like I’m complaining, honestly I’ve been in a happier place. Been doing my work to keep negativity out of my space and mind, but for the past few weeks I’ve been drained! It clearly doesn’t help that I decided a few months ago (6 to be exact) to do this celibacy thing again 😰. I cut off my entire roster 😖, and it feels like I’m ovulating every freaking day of my life 😫…. I seriously don’t remember it being this hard last time I did this. I underestimated the power of touch, so needless to say, I’ve been on edge.

Aside from some pretty pathetic text I’ve sent to a few exs the past few weeks, I’ve been figuring out how to cope. Hold up, before I go any further, I need a quick praise break. I seriously need to thank God for the closed doors, and miscommunication between myself and my exs, bc if it were up to me, I would have slipped and fell on a penis like two months ago! How dear you judge me…. I KNOW for a FACT single women go through this, some of us are way too cool to EVER acknowledge the need for D we experience. But I digress, I’ve been coping sorta.

If I’m being completely honest with myself, my self esteem has been in the basement. I feel so unattractive right now. But let me be the first to call my own BULLSHIT, it’s all me. I have a slew of men who frequent my DM and text. I’ve been on dates. Even had a man offer to pay for the new transmission I need in my truck…. but I’m not feeling any of them. Again being honest, I’m not feeling myself right now. Although I’ve made conscious decisions to be more productive and happier in my life, I am NO where near where I want to be. I am unhappy with me right now, so even if I have met HIM in the past few weeks, I would not have known.

Another fact, I need a change. Winter and I don’t really see eye to eye any more. I need sun!!! With that being said, I understand why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. I need sun in my life, I’m so ready to blossom and continue growing in life and dream career. I’m so tired of not tapping my potential. I am tired of being surrounded by the same people I am forced to work with and damn near sit on top of. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the paycheck and health benefits. I love that Obama-care has allowed everyone to qualify for medicaid, and that I am a part of the process, but I know there is so much more to life than pushing paper work, hearing co workers bitterly throw shade at others and talk about L&HH all day.

I’ve become some what of a negativity blocker (thank God for headphones, and a tamed tongue). I’ve been working on inner peace, and I even try to give my co workers a daily positive thought of the day (even when I’m not feeling the love). Again quick praise break, thank God that what I do isn’t for mans approval. I’m blessed that I have matured into that much needed revolution! Some of my co workers love the inspiration, and have started contributing quotes. Others hate like all haters do, and constantly kick my back in. This is to be expected. I’ve been at this company, with these same people for 7 yrs of my life, so I know what time it is. I understand these people, and have made a choice to try my best not to live in the toxic land of negativity they choose to constantly take part in.

Key words, I try my best,but I am only human (a human who isn’t having sex right now may I remind you). So the past few weeks my best has not been enough to maintain my peace of mind. No excuses though, I have to shake this funk and get my life! For my own personal health and well being I have to keep moving! This insert was a step towards movement. Now will I ever post this, I am unsure. But what I do know is that I have to keep writing and moving forward. Writing is my only release right now, until God opens some other doors for a better tomorrow!

Initially as I witness Cam stepping off the plane in San Fran for Super Bowl 50 earlier today, I thought “WTF! WHY CAM?!” Initially as I sit down to write this blog I was prepared to go ALL THE WAY IN on Cam Newton’s choice of almost $900 zebra-print Versace pants. In my mind I thought, why would he do this. I began to list the reason this was in my opinion a bad move for Cam. One he is a 6’5 black man in America with perfect teeth 😁. Two, it seems as if the world (or at least the sports world) has a huge target on this man’s back. Three, why does he need to draw more attention to himself?! But as I’m on the phone with my cuzzo, she puts so much in prospective for me. Side note, gotta take a quick moment to thank God for family, friends and am amazing support system that honestly care. Will call me on my foolishness, and pray my strength through the storm. Ok back to Cam.

As my wise cousin so eloquently put it, “Cam has his head on straight. He knows who he is and is walking in his light”. As I start to ponder her words, she continues. “Cam understands, ‘They are going to talk anyway, why not give them a reason'”. As I did my research on Cam, I noticed he has been the same guy since day one. I feel that he is now more comfortable in his own skin! Cam has been unapologetic about EVERYTHING CAM NEWTON this season. From his “blackness”, to his now legendary ‘Dab’ in-zone celebration sessions, to the birth of his new child, Cam has been himself. This includes his fashion style. I seriously respect a man with as much IDGAFness Cam displays earlier today! Check out some of Cam’s styles below. ✌🏾

I have definitely been slipping these last few weeks! Def Loaf done copped herself a boo, Lil Durk. They appear together in his new video entitled, My Beyonce. The video was realsed back on January 11 (damn how could I have missed this!). I was just on iTunes looking for some new music, and I stopped by Dej Loaf’s page. Look down and see a video that looks like one of my FAVORITE movies of ALL-TIME Love & Basketball. So OF COURSE I click to watch. OMG, this is the cutest videos I’ve seen in a long time! I may be over reacting a little because of how much I love Love & Basketball. But seriously this was done well. The couple, producer, and director did such a good job on this one. The video pretty much sticks to a few key scenes from the movie, I love how detailed the video is. Over all really cute video, check it out below. ✌🏾