Monday, April 24, 2006

Worried, as usual

Today is the day of my doctor's appointment for my depression evaluation.As per usual, I'm worried.I'm worried that the doctor won't think there's anything wrong with me, or he'll think there's something VERY wrong with me.I'm worried he'll put me on antidepressants, or that he won't.I'm worried that I'll go there and spill my guts to this total stranger and get no help and feel no different. I'm worried this will go on and on forever.

My husband is turning out to be a mini Tom Cruise, he thinks I don't need to take medicine just because I'm sad.He really doesn't understand, I don't think, that it's more than just sadness. It's fatigue, hopelessness, total exhaustion, most days I don't want to get out of bed let alone do all the house chores and take care of two kids or myself.Maybe if I tell him he'd probably have clean underwear more often if I go on medication he'd be on board...