Friday, September 26, 2008

I have been crying since 5am this morning when Pok Ye, one of my students, broke the news that Zumratullah Zakaria, my dear student also, passed away this morning between 4 to 4.30 am. I am still in shock. My tears have not stopped rolling down on my cheeks..

My dear Zum,

You never did anything wrong to me..You have been very dear to me. Surely I will miss you a lot. You visited me twice at my house when I was sick.. You have been coming to my house during hari Raya Aidil Fitri or Haji since 2005. Defintely I will miss you this cmoing Hari Raya.

Zum,

You never failed texting me a message enquire about my health and catching up certain things. I used to ask you to go to my house to collect habbatu al sauda' from my parents so that you could bring those things to me in Gombak. Before balik kampung, you text me a message and asked if I need to send something for my mom and before datang ke KL, you would ask me if I need anything from Kelantan.. You are such a nice boy, Zum.. You are a young man with the best of akhlaq.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The number of students in my class is always less compared to my fellow colleague. However, this semester, I have been assigned to teach 1st year 1st semester student, in other words, these are fresh students and they have no idea whatsoever who I am..hence, the number of students in that class is 36. Kira ramai la ni.( my fellow colleagues's students is 54) usul fiqh's students are altogether 58 students for two sections. This is unusual because if you have two sections you may have at least 100 students beacause each section is limited to 50 to 55 students.

I start my 1st class with these following statements:

1. I am a very nice person, kind hearted lecturer, very friendly one...BUT i dont like latecomers. You should be waiting for your teacher in the class and NOT me waiitng for you!"

2. My duty is teach and guide you and definitely NOT to please anyone of you here. If you like me, that is great and if you dont like me, I wont change myself because of you!

3. If you want to survive in this class, you need to follow my rules. It is not only that MUST follow rules but.. I will make sure each and everyone here, follow my rules.

4. This class belongs to me..You must listen and obey me as long as it is within the scope of Shariah.

5. Anybody who missed my class, it is going be his/her responsibilty to come and explain about his/her absence at my office. Dont you dare to stop me anywhere you like over this issue.

6. It is a crime for those who missed my class without any reasonable reason and he/she should be punished with Ta'zir punishment....

7. If you think you are now at the wrong class, you'd better change the section right away...

Sometimes I have a few police officers in my class. These people are very tough and very hardworking. some of them are Special branch officer, ASP and they are not scared to any criminals should they need to arrest them and fight with them..However, when they are in my class..Hmm..they said ( after they have passed my paper) they have never sacred in their life as much as they are in my class. They told me that I was a MUHARIB ( a criminal who committed HIRABAH). In my Islamic criminal law class, i used to define that a MUHARIB is a person who successfully instilled fear to the victim... That 's me :-) He! he! Well, I am just doing my job...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Yesterday was friday and as usual it was a busy day for me attending my students' needs or having a meeting. It was a taxing day yesterday due to the much-talking task and my throat was dried plus my mind was boggling a bit due the intense conversation with one of the parents of my students who came to see me yesterday. We started at 12.20 and ended at 1.25.. I was so tired as well as PISSED OFF with the student. Let me just name her SITI..( not siti aisyah wan muhammad)

Siti has been missing in my class in the beginning of the semester. So far, the number of missing class is already reached 8 times which means, by right, I can bar her not to sit for my paper. I have issued her warning letter about her absence and one copy was sent to her parents. To make it short, her mother came to see me. We had a long conversation and Siti, on the other hand did not give much attention to our conversation though it was concerned about her. She was busy texting a message. When I asked her a few questions, of course there was not much eye contact due to her "commitment" texting message on her mobile.

Her mother started crying when she related to me how she sacrificed her time and energy back and forth sending her daughter almost everyday to UIAM and hoouse in Puchong. A couple of times when they reached home at 6 pm and after 5 minutes she told her mother, I want to go back to UIAM Once, they reached home and buka puasa and right after that, send me back to UIAM. What a crazy life i have gone through, she said. One day, siti texted her a message that she wanted to apply for study leave and asked her mother to find a way how to get through this. After 5 minutes, she said, I changed my mind, I dont want to do it. I wan to study..

Siti's mother was asking me, if possible she wanted Siti to apply for study leave due to her personal problem. I said, study leave is meant for those who have medical reasons and for this we need a letter from the doctor. But I said, she was not sick but she made your life ( maybe be my life too) sick. It could be some other reasons like magic or sihir, depression etc. Later she said I may take her to Datuk harun Din. I said, if you take her to datuk harun din, if the latter tiup dia 1000 kali pun, this will not help. Why? because she is not sick . She needs to change her attitude and stop dreaming. She was too much khayyaling. She said she had two boyfriends and all of them dumped her! She was so frust menonggeng as such she got to miss my class and other classes.

Every time i have a lecture and she is in the class, she always looks down. She never looked at me. When i asked why are you doing this? She said, this is the 3rd time I am taking this subject and I thought...( I dont know what she meant, I dont know what to write). Siti, if you think you are good enough, why did you fail in the first place?

I guess her mother's wish to see her continue studies will not come true unless she change herself and transform to be a mature and responsible student. I guess, University does not need tis kind of studnet either, giving trouble to the parents, teacher and university. Her PTPTN has been stopped this semester due to poor result.. I strongly believe, to be a good daughter/son, a responssible daughter/son does not require one to go to the university. univerity is an institution to seek for knowledge. But it is not a place which can make you happy and a responsible person.. Only you can do that.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

One 1st year student came to see me on monday after I summoned her for missing my lecture last week. This was our second meeting because of the same reason. She told me that day that she was having period pain and could not make it for the class. I told her that having period and period pain are inevitable..hence, i cannot accept her m.c. for that reason. Later I verified from the clinic she was actually having tonsil and the m.c is admissible then. Then I persuaded her to tell me what made her missing of my classes and sometimes I could see her face was not in the mood of learning. No smile, no bright eyes, no laugh and no feeling.. All I could see was her gloomy eyes, looking straight to the whiteboard or to me with no sense.. not at all. After much persuasion..she told me that she has no interest in Law but her dad is the one who wants her to pursue this course. In our 1st meeting she already told me that but I thought this would go away as time goes. It seemed that she determined to change course. I guess she should change course and I assured her that I would help her on this. I called her dad yesterday and he finally agreed with me after much persuasion.

This is the case of doing something which is against your own will. As a parent, it is wrong to force or persuade her to study the course which she has no interest. This will cause a tremendous pressure on her and she would anything such as missing the class, incomplete homework and eventually would give trouble the teacher and classmates. the duty of parents is to guide and encourage her in all her undertakings. I hope this matter could be resolved ASAP so that the coming semester her dream to pursue other course will turn out to be true.

Last 2 months I was called to attend the meeting of readmission students. Majority of these students telling the committee that the reason why they failed the subjects and sometimes barred from sitting in the exam because Law is not their cup of tea. However, their parents insisted that they should give a try and try and try..and they keep on failing.. *sigh* I felt very sorry to them when i was at the meeting room. They had to defend their case for the sake of their parents. of course all of them cried when we asked them, " tell us why we should re admit you after you have been dismissed. Defend your case" When I see this my heart cried and to certain extent I cannot help myself as well..I cried too.

You have to do something that you loved most so that you have the passion in doing that. At the same time, you will always give your best shot on that. When my son, wafi asked me, " Mama, what do you want me to be after my graduation?" My answer was, " All i want is you to take care of Solat, read Quran regularly, respect others, love and make doa to Mama and papa" That is all about it.. Then the song by Doris Day was played.." Que Sera Sera...whatever will be..will be.. the future is not in our hands to see..Que Sera, sera.."

Friday, September 12, 2008

Today is friday and it is my consultation day with my students. The first appointment was at 10 am and here came one 1st year student. He has problems with his attendance. I called his mother yesterday and complained to her about her son's missing in my class. Of course, the mother was very shocked to hear that. But she was calmly listened to my explanations and alhamdulillah she is a teacher and understood my situation. Anyway, the student came to my office and we had a long talk.. I gave him a Khutbah Jumaat and of course after listening to my Khutbah, nobody left my office with red eyes and a couple of tissues which I already prepared in front of them. The rule here is that anybody who missed my class without reasonable reason would be punished..and i will make sure he would feel contented with he had done. I feel pity to him as well but rule is rule..I have to take action agaisnt him. besides he is still in his 1st year..I am sure he has plenty of time to change. Normally, student, he would tell me, " I want to change, Ustazah". I said, Dont say you want to, You are changing it now! I pray for him that he will do well in his studies..

After he left a couple of students came in asking about presentation next week and about their test result. having done that, there was another problematic student waiting outside my office. She did not sit for the test last wednesday. She also missed a few classes last week, however she is interestd more whther she could give a chance to sit for the test which she missed. I simply asked her, do you have m.c? She said, No. Then i said, no m.c no test. That's all about it. She was quite suprised with my answer. Later she was asking if there is a possibility that I may bar her from sittnig the paper in the final exam. My answwer was, " if you do not come to my class 3 more times then I will bar you, definitely!" She left..

The last studetn waiting outside witb face down and looked scared. My first question to her, was How are you? She said I was depressed. Depressed? What kind of depression you have, huh? Then..there goes my free lecture to her. She gave me her m.c for the two missing classes. I asked her, what happened to you?She said, I had stomachache. I looked at the m.c. The m.c was not from IIUM clinic. I asked her again, you have a lot of money to go to private clinic? She nodded. Did you pay for this? She was shocked with my question and explained that she paid for the treatment and not for the m.c. I jotted down the phone number of the clinic. Then I said to her, " saya akan cari sampai ke lubang cacing samada awak bagi tahu saya, yg benar atau tidak!" She started crying and telling me it was a lie. She was not sick, she was just scared of the presentation which she was supposed to do it last Monday. I could not imagine, a 3rd year student have this feeling and on top of that lied to me.. Of course , there goes my khutbah..

This is part of growing process, either you learned it hard way or easy way..

whatever happened, I dont have any grudges to anyone of them. They are my kids..I care for them. But rule is rule, if you violate it, you have to pay..