This is my blog. I can't promise that I will update it every day, or even every week, but I will do my best.
I can promise to tell you how I feel, about anything, and sometimes everything. You will hear about my kids, my husband, my life, and the state of affairs in the world today, all from my perspective, be it interesting, entertaining, or not sometimes. Happy reading, and thanks for dropping by.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ever had the stomach flu, or some kind of nasty stomach virus? Sucks, huh?

Ever had it at the same time your kids do? That really sucks, huh?

Ever had it at the same time your kids do, and your spouse was away for an extended period of time so that you are all alone with them??Yeah. It blows. Big time.

And I mean blows, and blows, and blows.

Gross.

I have to say that I am amazed by the amount of stuff 2 kids and 1 adult can up chuck at the same time. In fact, with all of us being sick, at times it felt like there was some sort of sick wave going on, but not any kind that anyone would have wanted to see.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Last night, I was chatting with someone, and discussing my future plans. Though I am a stay at home mom (who is never home) right now, I have always planned on returning to the paid version of the working world once all of my children start attending school. During my discussion, I said something to the other person about my youngest starting school in 3 years.

Wow.

That means I have 3 years to be ready to go back to work. While that may seem like a long time, it really isn't when you consider what all I have to do.

First, and I truly hope this comes as a shock to those who read my fabulously well written posts, I have yet to earn a college degree. Though I did start, I never finished. Now, there has been such a time lag in between starting and the time that I am ready to go back, that I believe I will have to start all over again. I have 3 years. It generally takes a bit longer than that to get a 4 year degree. That doesn't bode well for me being ready.

Before I can even go back to school, though, I have to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I haven't figured that out yet. Perhaps I should have years ago, but I really just don't know. I have so many things that I would like to do, I don't know that I can make a decision. This is going to be a long process, and over the last few years, in particular since I became a mother and then started running a few community based organizations, the experiences and interest in different career paths keeps changing. Ugg. Choosing a career path isn't easy.

Then, I have to find the time and money to actually get back in school. Along with, of course, finding a school. I think I have some of that covered, thanks to my husbands GI Bill. I am very thankful that the contribution of a military spouse was recognized in this aspect, and what we are now able to use our spouses GI Bill, if they don't. Sp, at least that makes things easier. The time might be an issue, but I think I can handle it. It really comes down to where. I don't think I will be able to handle a tradition class room based school, as I am functioning like a single parent right now. A poor one who can't afford a baby sitter all the time, at that. So, it looks like I will have to go the internet route. Not problem, as long as I can find a good school to attend.

At least I know that over the last few years, I have been building experience. I am a Community Organizer. If that can work on your Presidential resume, then I think it will be good enough to fill in my gaps on my little resume.

Still, experience building aside, I need to get hopping on this one. I need a degree, and I need it now. I want to be ready to go back to the workforce, and be able to help pay bills, not by just writing the check, but by actually contributing to the money pool they get paid from. That would be great.

So, I think I'll be career shopping for the next few weeks. Maybe, since I seemed to have missed this in high school, I can even try to hit up a local school's career day. Ok. Maybe not, but some how I need to figure out what I want to be, and actually get cracking on it.

Anyone know of a great career where you get paid lots and lots of money, but don't have to work a full 8 hour day, or be in before 10am?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

You ever have one of those moments that just kind of grosses you out? I feel like sharing one of mine from today.

As I was cleaning, getting down and sweeping floors, and all that jazz, I notice I have a little piece of food on my chest. Now, with a chest like mine, it is an unfortunate fact that food often sits on my boobs. Another unfortunate fact is that I don't always notice until someone else points it out to me. My husband is oft the one to point this out to me. He generally, though, points it out by asking me if I was saving what ever it is he spies as a snack for later.

This time, there was no adult around to point out my lapse. My children, apparently, don't care if I walk around with food on my clothes. I wish I could say the reverse was true.

Anyway, I look down while cleaning, and notice something there. I pull off this whitish thing, only to realize that i have been walking around with a piece of chicken on me. Now, this might not be too gross, ok, it is, but what makes it even worse is that it isn't my chicken. I didn't have chicken for lunch. What makes it really, really nasty is that, if you read my profile you know, I am a vegetarian. I have been for the last 12 or so years, in fact. So, hanging out with a tag-a-long piece of chicken on my shirt is incredibly disgusting for me. It certainly wasn't something I was saving for later.

I do know exactly where it come from, though. That should be of some comfort, I suppose. At least it wasn't some random piece of meat that I can't place. I know that this particular piece of chicken fell out of my daughter's mouth at lunch time.

She is incredibly cranky for about 18 out of 24 hours in a day at present as we are going through a nap time change. Now, she sleeps more than 6 hours a day, but since she seems to even be cranky in her sleep lately, I had to up her average number of crankified hours. Anyway, at lunch she was, of course, really cranky. She insisted I hold her. Even while she ate. I have been making great efforts to try and feed her more meat. My husband usually takes care of that, but with him gone, I have to try and honor the fact that she happens to be the meat eatingist baby I have ever seen. So, I gave her chicken today. She must have really loved it. Maybe I should feel bad about that, because she loved it so much, she seems to have saved a piece as a snack for later. Like any other child, she just ask mom to hold it for her until she was ready.

Ehh, what can you do? I'm not getting smaller boobs, or neater kids. I think we will just have to manage with the finding of random snacks around here.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

My daughter, the big one, likes to make these terrible animalish noises when she has an attitude problem. Her little humphs drive me insane. They really aren't acceptable in our house at all. I consider it attitude, and nothing different than talking back. I must have told her a million times that same thing. She knows better, but she is a young girl, and honestly, that attitude is just part of her makeup for now. So, she and I go round and round about all the noises.

They started again at supper tonight. As I was telling her that she needed to eat her peas before she got anything else to eat, she started in with the humphs and the mews.

In an effort to change up my pattern of rebuke, this time, I looked straight at her, and said"You sound like a hurt animal. One of these days, Diego is going to show up at my house, looking for an animal to rescue. He is going to start to follow the sound, and end up here. Looking at our house, wondering what kind of sad animal is inside."

She looked at me with sheer attitude for a split second, like I was crazy, then she started to snicker, trying to hide it, not wanting me to see that she thought i was funny.

"Click the camera is going to try to zoom in on the animal in trouble, and all they are going to see if your butt. "

She actually started laughing then. May not be the best parenting technique ever, but I got a giggle, and the noises stopped, at least for a few minutes.

I doubt it will keep the noises at bay for long, but seriously, there is a limit to the amount of times I can tell her the same thing, those noises are in appropriate, unacceptable, and only evidence a bad attitude, the same way, before I have to invent new ways just for myself.

In fact, I'm sure the noises will start again any time now, as all little girls, from the age of 4 and up are pretty much full of nothing but attitude in its many forms. I better start working on something else to liken them to now. I don't know what it will be, but as long as it breaks up my own monotony of parenting verbiage, and makes her giggle, it will work.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I don't want to jinx myself, but....the little one is asleep!! Can you feel my joy?? I am so excited!! She just lay down, and went to sleep. She ask me for her pa once, and I told her no. She whined for about a minute or two, and went to sleep!!!

It is too early for me to sleep too, or I would. I have no idea what I am going to go do right now, but this is so cool!!!!

Some days, you wake up, and you just know that it isn't going to be the best day of your life.

Today is one of those days.

We all started the day off a little grouchy and very tired thanks to the little one's giant leap into being a big girl; the giving up of the pa. No one slept. No one. Even when I did finally get her to sleep without the flipping and flopping, where we were finally resting, my husband decided to call at 4:49am. Granted, he didn't know it was 4:49am. In fact, the moment he heard my voice, he ask what time it was. Bless his sweet and loving heart, he walked by the phones on ship, saw that no one was using them, and decided to call us. It never occurred to him that there may be a reason no one else was calling, but that is ok. He saw a chance to call, and he seized it. I can't fault him for it. On top of all that, the wind was making some crazy humming noise through our housing complex last night. It scared the crap out of the big one, and she wouldn't sleep any where, or at least try to sleep anywhere, other than my room. So, really, there was no sleeping in our house.

Lack of sleep takes a quick toll on me. I don't function well this way. As evidenced by the fact that I have now spent the last hour searching for my tortillas.

The little one and I had to venture out for some things this morning. We had to. I was out of coffee creamer. We needed to go. So, we hit Wal-Mart, where we still didn't buy any pacifiers. She did ask, but I told her no, and she accepted it pretty well. So, anyway, of course Wal-Mart doesn't have any coffee creamer I will use. Next door to it is a Vons. I don't normally shop at Vons. I think they are too expensive for most things. However, Vons also happens to have a Starbucks located inside. Lack of sleep and lack of creamer means that any Starbucks in close proximity is a must do.

So, we head over, and I am able to get a couple of things that I need, and things that are hard to get at my normal grocery shopping locations. One of those items was a pack a carb balance tortillas. I love tortillas, and the kind that I buy, though hard to find, taste really good especially considering how much fiber they are loaded with! They were pretty expensive compared to what I would normally pay, but since they were actually available, I snagged them. I was totally stoked about them. I have been dying for a breakfast burrito, and have had no tortillas for a while.

I know I got them in the bag. I know I carried them to the car. However, once I went to get them to put out with supper, they were no where to be found. No where, I tell you. I have checked everywhere. I looked in the oven, microwave, fridge, and even the freezer just to be sure. No where.

So, we have at this point just a few options. 1. They are laying in my car and I didn't carry them in. I will find them when I go out next. I have to say this option isn't likely since I laid the bags next to Ava. If I left food in the car, she would tell me, trust me.2. Ava grabbed them and carried them off while I was doing other things. Possible, definitely possible. If this is the case, they will likely be no good by the time I find them. She is that good.3. I put them someplace ridiculous and will eventually stumble on them when I have had more sleep, and absolutely no need for them what so ever. I am going to guess that this is the most likely. Since I already checked all the nutty spots I might put things if I weren't paying attention, I have a feeling that when I find them, where ever they are is going to amaze me.

I really do need sleep. I can only hope the little one does better tonight. WE all need her to. I hope that she is a quick learner, and can figure out how to sooth herself to sleep very soon. If not, I may let them have my bed, while I go sleep in one of theirs. I can't afford to keep losing expensive tortillas.

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Little Onehas a well established pa-habit. Recently, she starting biting through the nipples. I realize that is a sign they probably need to go, but I am not about to push it. The child need her safety binkie right now, and I had no intentions of taking that away.

Instead, I have been constantly telling her, warning her really, that if she bit through them, they went into the trash. I told her that once they were all gone, that would be it. My intentions were of course not the same as my words. As I said, I have no desire to push this issue at the present time. I plainly intended to sneak a new pack into our shopping cart the next time we were at Wal-Mart. We are, in fact, as least 3 days really past due for that shopping trip. We are all sick, and San Diego happens to actually be in the midst of long lasting rain front. So, we haven't gone anywhere. No new pacifiers (pas).

Over the last 2 weeks or so, we have thrown away at least 4 pas. I watched as our supply was dwindling, not worried as I new we needed to go out soon, anyway. Saturday, when I had the new baby sitter over, I remembered to show her the stash in a cubbard, and told her to break into it as needed. Well, the little one was a little wild that night, and by the time I got home, we were on the last one!! We didn't go out yesterday, or today. I thought we could make it until tomorrow.

Don't bite, I kept reminding her. Hoping that she could just make it with out destroying this one.

Shortly after she woke up from her nap today, she ask me to wash her pa. When I took it, I saw she had bitten into it and torn it already.

"Oh no. You bit it. Momma has to throw it away."

She reached over and very gently took the pa back. She looked at it for a second, then put it in her mouth.

"No. No trash pa." She said around it.

"Yes. You know that if you bite them, they have to go in the trash. They aren't safe anymore."

"No good?"

"No."

"Trash?"

"Yes. Trash."

She looked up at me with those big round eyes, very solemn and sad. She walked over to the trash cabinet, opened it, looked at me one more time and ask "Trash?" again.
"Yes. Trash." I told her. I was never mean about it, just sort of sad myself.
She dropped it in.

"New one?"

"No. We don't have any new ones. All the new ones are at the store, and we aren't going to the store."

"Go." She walked quickly over to the shoe basket and started to put her shoes on.

"No, Ava. We aren't going to the store. No new ones."

She didn't say anything. She just sort of looked at me with this resigned look, then walked out to the living room. There were several times today where she went to go get her jacket, and ask for a new one. I just repeated the same answer very gently all day.

"No new ones."

She whined for it just a couple of times, but then after I reminded her they were gone, she remember she threw it away, and she would move on.

So, now it is bed time. I have her laying down. I gave her a cup of water. I know, it isn't good to replace one bad habit with another, but I am not looking for a fight. If not, I'll be up all night looking for one. I know I am in for a few days of less sleep, but in all honesty, it won't be that different than any other night for me of late.
I feel bad for her. I didn't want to take her security object away until her Daddy came back, but I guess she is ready. My baby is becoming a big girl.

I hope you sleep well tonight big girl. You can still bunk with me for a while, at least.

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About Me

I am a 29ish year wife of a recent Naval retiree and mom of 3 gorgeous girls. Before marriage and kids, I was a dark gothic rose, but now, fishnets, knee high boots, and ultra white makeup that smears really don't work well for playdates in the park. Don't get me wrong, I still have my own special flare, I just keep it more real than surreal these days.
I am also, an ex-southerner, VW driving, red headed liberal republican vegetarian. Are those enough classifications for you?