Now I Truely Know

By Anonymous, victorville, CA

The author's comments:

I had so many things written down on paper about my life, such as poems, and then one day i just wanted to throw everything away and not remember how i felt then. But now i wish i could go back and look over my feelings i used to have but it is to late and i cant because everything is ripped up and long gone in the trash, i wish i could redo what i did but its my fault and i learned a lesson.

i wanted to destroy everything in my path, so i wouldnt be able to see what i have become, but everything and everyone has etched and embedded something into me, they are a part of me, whether good or bad, . before i wanted to destroy eveything in my path, the reason why is because i didnt want to see what i use to have, to destroy those memories whether it be happy or sad, i wanted to erase this person i saw i did not want to see anything at all, nothing, just dark deep space, nothing at all, i wanted to delete my past, burn my memories, chop down my every last bit of me, nothing what so ever i wanted left, i wanted to be locked into a coffin, so my life would never come out, hold in everything, and never shout. never complain, never feel any sort of pain, so i wanted to destroy everything. lose my past, erase my memories, tear my self into pieces and never connect. every tiny cell i wanted to disect, i wanted to be this way, i wanted everything to vanish, disappear into air, and never see anything when i looked there. . within my soul, i shall always hold onto life, because now any piece would suffice, before i wanted to let this life of mine never be, but now that i truely see, my experiences have made me the person who i am today, and thats how i will stay until i once again learn something from life.

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