Words Don't Even Describe How Much It Hurts...

June 16, 2011. I even remember the date. I was in Walmart with my mom. I was going to go get a candy bar and everything, so I reached out and grabbed one. My mom goes "What the hell is on your arm?" Shit. I'm not wearing long sleeves. Or bracelets. My mom saw cuts...From just a few days ago. She was like "Are you gonna tell me what the fuck that is ?!" And I'm like "Nothing ?" And my mom said "Um. Courtney. You're fucking mutilating yourself." Then I said "No..?" Then she yelled, "YES YOU ARE. DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME, YOU STUPID BITCH. GIVE ME YOUR PHONE." When I wouldn't give it to her, she smacked me across the face so hard, then yanked my phone out of my hands. I started crying, then I started pretty much balling my eyes out. My mom basically said to "knock the fuck off." and other stuff like that. When we were in the parking lot, she literally RAMMED the cart into my side, knocking me over. Then she kicked me and made me get up. She screamed "You're a worthless bitch! You don't deserve a damn thing!" I got into the car, slammed the door, and continued crying. When my mom got in, she started screaming more. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "You're cutting yourself? You want to feel pain? I'LL CUT YOU FOR YOU. THAT'LL HURT LIKE HELL." "You might as well just kill yourself right now anyways! I should just throw you out of the car then run your sorry ass over!" She kept going on and on and on and on. When I got home, I locked myself in my room and didn't come out for hours. I didn't come out until 7 o'clock the next night. I could continue the story if I really wanted to, but it's making me cry just thinking about it. /:
Well, now she acts like nothing even happened. I mean, how could she? SHe said all this shit to me, and now it's like...what? I don't get it.
But, ever sense then our relationship has been really awkward.. I don't like my mom...at all.

I have the chance to move to my dad's in Tennessee (I live in Indiana) but I don't really want to do that. I have a few REALLY close people at my school that I couldn't bear with leaving them here. But I'm definetely leaving as soon as I'm done with high school.

:hug: I'm so sorry that happened to you, what your mom did was wrong. Those things she said were some of the most evil. Don't believe her, no one should ever be hurt by another, even if they feel hurt... :/ I know what I'm sayin probably doesn't make sense. I'm always here for you if you need someone to talk to!

No. She won't take me anywhere. She just claims I only want attention and everything. But, I haven't talked to my school counselor. Cause I feel like she'll end up contacting my mom somehow, and i don't really want that.

i hope you have some friends, like a good peer support system.
I'm glad you have sf too. When things get bad i hope you come and talk to folks here

and honestly, the right thing for mom to do, would be to get some counseling for you. Sometimes parents don't think clearly for whatever reason, and then young people pay that price. It's not because of you, it's because adults have issues and obstacles of their own. If things get bad enough, please reach out okay? i know things are not so good, but you've got sf, okay?

also, even if it were something to do with attention, which i don't believe it is, but even still, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a young person needing attention...everyone needs a bit and she still responded inappropriately.

If you mother attacks you again then you call the authorities and you get yourself out of her reach okay you go to your friends place and stay there until your mother get the help she needs to control her anger

I can see this another way...yes, what she did was heartless, but not knowing her, I dont know if this is characteristic of her...some people just reaction the complete opposite of how they are feeling and what we need...sometimes, like ourselves, their pain makes them idiots...if this is her usual way of treating you, do have someone intervene because no one should be abused, but if it because she was so shocked, try to talk to her...it is so sad that when we need a hug the most, some ppl are not able to give it to us...I have had this happen to me recently by someone who is one of my best friends...because she cannot handle my illness, she is making my life miserable...but she is not a bad person, so I must conclude it is because she cannot handle me being this way...please continue to tell us what is going on and also make sure you are safe