Oh Swiftyvillerton . . .

I have mentioned many times before the strange quirks of our tiny town of Swiftyvillerton, but subject of this photo just reinforced to me how no matter what modern wonders try to move into this town, something will screw them up. There will always be something that they do just a little different than everywhere else in the world that ruins my happy little delusion of progress or big city living.

When we moved here we bemoaned the lack of a real “coffee shop” for a year and a half until Urban Ground opened up about a year ago. We were so excited when it opened, and all in all it is a good place, but I’ve never been in another coffee shop that charges you an extra fifty cents per drink if you want it decaf. Yup, there’s a premium charge for decaf! Since the coffee shop opened up, we’ve found a new thing to complain about. Many a night we’ve often pined for the bounty of a Shoppers Drug Mart. A place open until 10pm that doesn’t charge $8 for four litres of milk; I’m looking at you Pharmasave. Imagine our glee when we learned that our tiny town would be getting a new Shoppers Drug Mart in the empty old Canadian Tire building. We were so excited to visit it last night. We imagined the smell of the massive cosmetics section, the hum of the reasonably priced dairy case, the up to date magazine rack, and the pharmaceutical section that spanned more than six feet, and we weren’t disappointed by anything we found within it’s walls.

Alas, this is Swiftyvillerton and as such something had to be at least a little screwed up. Do you notice anything about this picture that doesn’t seem quite right? Apparently the builders didn’t but I think the first person to drive down the center parking lane and turn in front of the front doors will. Right at the end of the middle row of the parking lot is a fire hydrant jutting out of the ground just as you turn around the end of the row. Judging from the paint scrapes already present on the tiny monument to nincompoopery, a few cars have already discovered the new fire hydrant.

How do you screw up a parking lot? How do you take what would otherwise be a wonderful addition to our city and screw it up? Apparently Swiftyvillerton’s answer to these questions is to build a fire hydrant right where cars will naturally drive. Garrr.