House cleaning responsibilities

I live with my husband in a four story house. That's three levels plus a fully furnished basement. That's a lot of cleaning to do. It's very exhausting to clean everything alone and in one day... I told my husband that he should help me clean, mentioning the above. His response was that he doesn't want to spend his day off cleaning. He also told me that because I don't work right now I should be the one to clean the house as I have a lot of free time on my hands. Really?
I think that is unfair of him to say. It shouldn't matter who works or who doesn't, and who has more free time; we both live in this house, so we should both participate in cleaning it. Am I wrong?
If we lived in a tiny basement apartment, as we had before moving to this house, I'd have no problem cleaning since there isn't that much stuff or space to tackle in a place like that. But in a house this big, it's A LOT of work. And it's very exhausting. I need help. Not to mention that I hate cleaning.
I wanted to tell him either he helps me clean or he should hire a cleaning lady... But I didn't do that, and he didn't even offer...
Weird thing is when we first moved into this house he did clean, and without even asking me for help. That changed very quickly. If I don't force myself to clean, even a little bit, the house will remain dirty... He is not okay with that, yet he doesn't want to help me or hire help instead, and expects me to do everything myself. That is not fair!!! We should share the house cleaning responsibilities. It makes things easier for me, and cleaning together also saves time... Even if I have more free time on my hands I don't want to spend a lot of it cleaning. Who does? Only those for whom cleaning is a career I'd think...

It's my parent's old house that they've not sold yet. We pay the same rent we paid for the dark tiny basement apartment with hardly any closet space, and we don't have to pay utilities. Plus, we have lots of room, a backyard (though we've never used it yet) and a driveway... And I am closer to my parents, which they like. And getting to work for him takes less time.

I am trying to hold my tongue - but here goes...if my husband said that to me I would tell him to go find another place to live. My husband and I always shared the housework - even when we both worked. The size of the house isn't the important thing - the important thing is that he is showing you little to no respect. In our 18 years of marriage (second for both of us) we lived in anywhere from a 3,000 sf home to a 1,500 sf home....and from 3 acres to 10 acres...we share responsibility - inside and outside.
If I were you I would hire someone to help or tell him you need to move to a smaller house. Is it just the two of you?

We are newlyweds though we have lived a few years (maybe slightly less) together before marrying. Size of the place matters to me... smaller places require less time and less work and are therefore less exhausting on the person.
But I agree it also has to with respecting the other person. Helping clean means you do respect the other person and care about the other person. Hiring someone is not easy. Cleaning people don't come cheap, and we can't exactly afford it. Plus, it's hard to find someone who will do a great job.

@lovebuglena Why do you have such a big house? Was it his idea? We thought about hiring someone to come in once every two weeks - just to do the things we both hate doing....my husband is 74 and I'm almost 70 and dusting/cleaning baseboards is too much for me! There are lots of freelance cleaners around here but not sure I would trust any - I would rather go thru an agency that is bonded and insured.

Yes he should help you clean.. Cleaning everyday and as you said ALONE
Gets to be very exhausting and grows to get irritating that you watch a house
that you clean yourself get dirtied by people who don't pitch in.. or at least that
last part happens with me.. Hope he starts to help you though I know how it is..
When I was out of work for about 2 weeks that's all I did was clean and take care
of the children..

Well, there is definitely no cleaning every day. But when I do force myself to clean (yes force because I hate it), or on a rare occasion I actually want to clean, it is very tiring, especially when it is very hot outside, and even with the AC on the very top floor is still unbearable. It's bad enough that most of the time I am the one to always wash the dishes. And I always do the laundry. And most of the time I do the shopping and drag heavy bags from the store to the house no matter the weather.

Are you working or just stay at home. Well, even if you are a stay at home mom, with a four-storey house, you cannot clean them all alone. It's either you have to tell your hubby to help you or hire a cleaning lady at least once a week.
That's what is not nice with a big house when you don't have a helper to clean the house I would prefer a small house where it's easier to clean. A house isn't a nice one to live when it's not clean.

We do not have kids yet, so I am not a stay at home mom, but I currently do not work...
If we were to hire a cleaning lady it would definitely not be every week because cleaning ladies don't come cheap. Probably once a month or every two weeks...

I agree 100%. This is not a hotel. This is our house. We should both clean it.
I can boycott and tell him I am not cleaning it unless you help. But if I do that then I will probably live in a dirty house for a very long time. I don't think me telling him this will get him to wanna help me clean.

We are thinking about moving to another place in a few years. Size of the house and the reality of me not itching to spend my free time cleaning has been a huge factor. I do love those old farmhouses, though. Hubby helps clean our house. I do not work outside the home. I do get in a fair amount of time gardening and caring for animals like chickens. He does a lot of work outside as well as brings in a paycheck. My hubby possibly feels like since he builds fences and mostly grinds grain and makes peanut butter that he is doing his share. Sounds like you and your hubby are up for a frank talk. I wish you well.

Thank you! I wonder also if he doesn't want to help because his mom may have instilled in him that it's a woman's job to clean and upkeep the house... I don't know if she did that, but thinking maybe she did.

I enjoyed reading this discussion, it's like reading the story I remember in my high school "the women wash the dishes" same story, a couple arguing on who will do this chore and keep on pointing each other to work for that

To be fair, everyone here helps with the work, whether inside or outside. Everyone gets it dirty, so everyone should help clean it. With food prep and clean up, everyone eats, so everyone helps-no excuses.