Time, generally speaking, is not kind to rock stars who did a lot of heroin in the 60s. Mud Slide Slim, however, looks less like a haggard former rocker and more like somebody's dad—bald, with big old chinos and an L.L. Bean fleece vest.

Rapper formerly of the duo Big Tymers, now an astoundingly successful entrepreneur behind YMCMB crew. Among the most aesthetically ingenious members of the Bald 100: His baldness has become a canvas for dozens of head and face tattoos.

Avant-garde chef and founder of the Fat Duck, where people drive an hour from London to experience some of the best food in the world, no matter how liquified, aerated, multi-sensory, or generally inedible it sounds.

Which of the following is not a Ving Rhames movie? Death Race: Frankenstein Lives, The Wrath of Cain, Evil Angel, Phantom Punch, Day of the Dead, Shooting Gallery. If you guessed anything, you're wrong. Every preposterously sinister one of them is a Ving Rhames movie. Because he is the best at being terrifying.

Baseball hall of famer who broke Lou Gehrig's record for most consecutive games played; known by nickname "Iron Man" for playing through head injuries and never missing a day of work, not because he was an armored superhero who fought communism.

If nothing else, McCain knows how to pick a woman. For his first political move, he traded up to Cindy McCain, who bankrolled his career. And for the one that relegated him to right-wing lunacy and confirmation hearings, he chose Sarah Palin.

If there's one thing he's taught us from all his Top Chef judging, it's that to truly satisfy the most sophisticated palates, you must add bacon. If you refuse for whatever pretentious, cardiovascular-aware reason to serve Chef Tom his daily something covered in bacon, you must pack up your knives and go.

The Forrest Gump of defining moments in American cinema, he's uncannily appeared in virtually every iconic film of the past five decades, from To Kill a Mockingbird to MASH, to The Godfather, to Network, to Apocalypse Now, to Sling Blade, to Gone in 60 Seconds.

Weathered the financial crisis as CEO of Goldman Sachs, tirelessly protecting his banker's bonuses no matter how many private jets he had to take to Washington to convince Congress to float him the money.

The greatest NBA point guard of all time. We’re guessing his son, who is a “junior at New York University studying event management and design with an interest in fashion, journalism and media,” probably won’t follow in dad’s footsteps.

Responsible for delighting several generations of children and stay-at-home parents with films like _The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, _and _Shrek; _smile is not unlike that of his Dreamworks creations.

Came within nine yards of breaking the NFL’s all-time rushing record last year, despite suffering an injury that would end a lesser man’s career. Shaves his head, presumably, because unstoppable football machines have no need for hair.

In 2009, we called him “The Man Who Saved America.” Nowadays, he’s the man who’s…keeping it in a impossibly slow and steady recovery? Fed chairs just aren’t sexy when you aren’t betting billions on the euro, or staring food lines in the face.

In 1980 he made the wise decision to join the 23-person staff of a start-up called Microsoft. He now has $15 billion. Currently trying to convince everyone that a tablet with Excel on it is good because breakdancing.

Corrections officer turned Teflon Don. Bald head-full beard combo earned him his stage name, a reference to the similarly-coiffed and named drug lord (who wasn’t exactly amused by the homage/plagiarism). His corpulence sans shirt is a trademark.

Master of cynicism and stand-up comedy legend, known for his merciless (and hilarious) dissections of the depressing minutiae of everyday life. So really, being bald and pudgy is essential to the shtick.

Comedic genius. The brilliance of Chappelle’s Show precipitated years of frat boys yelling “I’m Rick James, bitch!” which may have led to him spending the last several years off the grid. Finally now, he seems to be quietly beginning his return to the public eye; we can only hope he’s as skeet-tastic as he ever was.

So he's going through a divorce, and his media empire's been split in twain, _and _that whole phone-tapping scandal is still lurking in the background, but the Montgomery Burns of the 3D world nevertheless wields a massive amount of influence from here to his native Australia. Clear eyes, billions of dollars, never lose.

His Airness made bald cool, simple as that. It's hard to equate hair with virility, when you're watching a bald man jam on Patrick Ewing like he's a stepladder. Say what you will about his current aesthetic leanings, but Jordan is undoubtedly one of the greatest and coolest athletes of all time—and dudes around the world have been shaving their heads ever since.

99. Michael Chiklis

Best known for playing two cops: a nice, gentle one on The Commish, and a tough crooked one on The Shield.

98. Paul Shaffer

Letterman's longtime sidekick/sycophant; co-wrote "It's Raining Men."

97. Christopher Meloni

Star of _Law and Order: SVU, _also appeared in True Blood and Man of Steel. Baldness definitely aids his anger-based gravitas.

96. Tony Hale

Hard to dissociate from the mother-loving Buster Bluth on _Arrested Development; _currently playing the obsequious Gary Walsh on HBO’s Veep.

95. Lord Voldemort

With his massive Twitter following, is showing that his dark influence extends to the muggle world, too. Hook us up with some phoenix feathers, Voldy, and we can talk ranking.

94. Kevin Youkilis

Hailed by Moneyball as "The Greek God of Walks;" favorite son of Red Sox Nation, which of course means that he’s now on the Yankees.

93. Verne Troyer

One of the world's shortest men; got break as stunt double for a nine-month-old baby.

92. Hulk Hogan

AKA Hollywood Hulk Hogan, working-class WWF hero. Sadly, not in our top 100 for celebrities we’d want to see in a sex tape.

91. Jamie Hyneman

Co-host of MythBusters, has yet to bust the “berets hide baldness” myth. Granted, he’s never been photographed without his hat on, but c’mon.

90. Stanley Tucci

Frequent Meryl Streep costar, now playing that dude your kid knows the name of in The Hunger Games.

89. Todd Greene

Inventor of GQ-endorsed Headblade, which sits in MoMA's permanent collection.

88. James Taylor

Time, generally speaking, is not kind to rock stars who did a lot of heroin in the 60s. Mud Slide Slim, however, looks less like a haggard former rocker and more like somebody's dad—bald, with big old chinos and an L.L. Bean fleece vest.

87. James Jannard

Every bro who has ever been on a bicycle has bought a pair of his Oakley sunglasses.

86. Seth Godin

His catch-phrase marketing jargon—"Purple cow!" "Small is the new big!" "Meatball sundae!"—has made him a bestselling author many times over.

85. Karl Rove

Political strategist instrumental to the Bush presidency and American partisanship. On-air breakdown after Romney’s electoral hammering was sweet, sweet karma.

As president of UFC, has done more than anyone to make MMA an actual thing.

82. Birdman

Rapper formerly of the duo Big Tymers, now an astoundingly successful entrepreneur behind YMCMB crew. Among the most aesthetically ingenious members of the Bald 100: His baldness has become a canvas for dozens of head and face tattoos.

81. Billy Corgan

Smashing Pumpkins' very pale, morose frontman; dated Courtney before she got to Kurt.

80. Andre Agassi

His killer backhand, unorthodox not-your-grandfather's-country-club style, raging temper, and marriage to Brooke Shields made him tennis's first rock star.

79. Moby

Former Dungeons and Dragons enthusiast and punk-rock Marxist, found fame as a geek techno-artist.

78. LL Cool J

His name stands for “Ladies Love Cool James,” so it sounds like the bald thing is going over well.

77. Damon Lindelof

Writer of _Lost _and Prometheus, among many others. So if you’re looking to be simultaneously amazed and confused, Damon’s your guy.

76. Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon

Doubly bald duo of ESPN's Pardon the Interruption.

75. Ray Allen

Legendarily clutch sharpshooter for the NBA champion Miami Heat. But let’s face it, he’s only on here until a certain more prominent teammate gives up and ditches the headband.

74. Jason Alexander

Emplified the plight of short bald men everywhere as George Costanza; his subsequent career, sadly, is probably also emplary of that.

73. Heston Blumenthal

Avant-garde chef and founder of the Fat Duck, where people drive an hour from London to experience some of the best food in the world, no matter how liquified, aerated, multi-sensory, or generally inedible it sounds.

72. Garth Brooks

Longtime tedious country music phenomenon, has sold more albums than the Beatles despite minimal talent.

71. Common

MC from Chi City. Known for his thoughtful rhymes and for making Fox News feel threatened. To be fair, he has been in commercials for menacing companies like PETA and the Gap.

70. Ne-Yo

Grammy-winning R&B singer; not sure we’ve ever heard his music sober during the day.

69. Ving Rhames

Which of the following is not a Ving Rhames movie? Death Race: Frankenstein Lives, The Wrath of Cain, Evil Angel, Phantom Punch, Day of the Dead, Shooting Gallery. If you guessed anything, you're wrong. Every preposterously sinister one of them is a Ving Rhames movie. Because he is the best at being terrifying.

68. Pete Townshend

Brash young guitar smasher turned rock dinosaur. "Hope I die before I get old," eh?

67. Cal Ripken

Baseball hall of famer who broke Lou Gehrig's record for most consecutive games played; known by nickname "Iron Man" for playing through head injuries and never missing a day of work, not because he was an armored superhero who fought communism.

66. Terry Francona

Current manager of the Cleveland Indians, who led the Red Sox to their first World Series wins in a million years. So naturally, he was fired.

65. Jason Kidd

First-ballot hall of famer and the new coach of the Brooklyn Nets: from incredibly old player to incredibly inexperienced coach, in one fell swoop.

64. Stephen Covey

Practicing Mormon and Harvard MBA, built self-help empire with The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; added 8th habit when realized he wanted more money.

63. Jeffrey Tambor

Lapsed Scientologist best known for his role on Arrested Development, where what hair he has left is a frequent plot device.

62. Jeff Van Gundy

Former Knicks and Rockets coach and current TNT analyst, best remembered for clinging to Alonzo Mourning's leg as he pummeled Larry Johnson on court.

61. John Malkovich

His bald head was the subject of an entire movie.

60. Manu Ginóbili

Key cog for the San Antonio Spurs, who figure to give it one last run this year before Manu’s hair and Duncan’s body finally give out (though you could’ve said all this in like, 2009).

59. James Carville

Prominent Democratic pundit. What he lacks in hair he makes up for in Cajun-ness.

58. John McCain

If nothing else, McCain knows how to pick a woman. For his first political move, he traded up to Cindy McCain, who bankrolled his career. And for the one that relegated him to right-wing lunacy and confirmation hearings, he chose Sarah Palin.

Mute stage performers who use baldness to preserve the anonymity of their numbers. Might be sore about rejecting a higher-up on this list from their ranks.

53. Ed Harris

Break out role as astronaut John Glenn in The Right Stuff; generally plays either conniving bad guys or outrageous historical figures.

52. Tom Colicchio

If there's one thing he's taught us from all his Top Chef judging, it's that to truly satisfy the most sophisticated palates, you must add bacon. If you refuse for whatever pretentious, cardiovascular-aware reason to serve Chef Tom his daily something covered in bacon, you must pack up your knives and go.