'Bachelor in Paradise' Season 4 Episode 3B Recap: Corinne Speaks

It's another split episode of Bachelor in Paradise: an hour of fun on the beach, followed by an interview with Corinne Olympios about the scandal that caused the production shutdown earlier this season. Corinne addressed the controversy this morning on Good Morning America, explaining that, due to a combination of prescription medication and alcohol, she didn't remember the events that caused a producer to lodge a complaint and shut down the show; however, after viewing the footage, she doesn't have negative feelings toward DeMario Jackson, the man involved. Her claim that she was "a victim" was about the media.

It's a messy situation that I wish the show had addressed in full before the season started, allowing the rest of the season to just be about fun in the sun—but instead it's been sort of dragged out over the weeks, presumably for ratings. Hopefully tonight will be the last time Bachelor in Paradise uses the shutdown to create drama. (DeMario addressed the issue in an interview with Chris Harrison last week.)

But before we get to all that, let's go back to the beach, where, as you may remember from last night's episode, the guys have the roses, Matt left, and someone named Daniel just arrived.

Lacey immediately jumps onto Daniel, who, we quickly learn, has ripped abs and is Canadian. He cracks a joke about Trump's border wall, and now I'm just thinking about how, if I were on that show, I would be going after Daniel to get that Canadian citizenship by marriage. Lacey comes on to him pretty strong ("I've been waiting for you"), and Daniel refers to the remaining single women as "leftover scraps," so, pretty gross, eh? He rejected her like a cold Tim Horton's or a glaze that wasn't maple or a hockey that wasn't...a moose...? I've never been to Canada.

Because he showed up "fashionably late," Daniel compares himself to Beyoncé, which is heretical, in my book...

...and then mentions that an upside of dating virginal Christen would be that she is STD free, which, two things:

Do we know exactly what Christen means by "virgin"? You can get an STD even if you never go p-in-v.

Are you allergic to condoms?

OK, so I don't like Daniel, despite his roots in a country that isn't run by Donald Trump. He gives Lacey his rose. Jack Stone gives his rose to Christen.

THEN MATT COMES BACK to give his rose to "someone who deserves it" and help a girl stay on the show even though he's leaving. He gives it to Jasmine, who rolls her eyes and accepts it with a salty "sure." Derek gives his rose to Taylor, Robby to Amanda, Diggy to Dominique, Adam to Raven (not Sarah!), Dean to Kristina (over D. Lo), and Ben presents the final rose to D. Lo, meaning that Sarah and Alexis are going home.

WHAT JUSTICE IS THERE IF ALEXIS GOES HOME? SHE'S THE BEST ONE! ARE ALL THESE MEN DUMB?

Later in a bungalow, Kristina dares Dean to get a boner using only his mind. It's profoundly weird.

The next morning, men in Luchador masks come running in and drag everyone out of bed, which feels both unnecessary and racially insensitive, especially since Christen repeatedly refers to them as "sumo wrestlers." They give Daniel a date card that Lacey decides is for her. Then Daniel says some things. Things like:

"I'm here to date a girl. I'm here to maybe sleep with a girl? I mean,
I'm a guy, I like sex. I'm not here to be friends with these girls, I
can be friends with girls back home." —Daniel

And:

"The last time I had a date was when Caitlyn Jenner was a man."
—Daniel

And:

"I don't wanna pour all my chickens into one egg and let it hatch into
a dinosaur or something." —Daniel

So, those are things Daniel said.

At one point Kristina says, "You're walking around with your date card, I see," but due to her accent I heard "date card" as "dick hard" and was so confused. The date card does, indeed, go to Lacey. On their date, Lacey and Daniel go full GLOW and wrestle for a dozen or so assembled Mexicans who were, I hope, compensated for their time. They have the Best Time Ever.

Advertisement

Jonathan, the affable but un-self-aware "Tickle Monster" from Rachel's season, arrives at Paradise with a date card in (tickle-ready) hand. All the guys from Rachel's season literally refer to him as "Tickle" like it's his name, but they seem happy to see him. We also learn that his real profession is "doctor" and he has met Ellen DeGeneres, so, point Tickle Dude. He and Christen make out. Well, they don't make out. They exchange exactly one kiss. Then he gives her a date card and tickles her. On their date, T.M. impresses Christen with tales from the trade: He delivers babies and then takes care of them and he also surfs. Christen turns into the heart-eyes emoji. Eating this up by the spoonful. Well, by the handful. She's still eating everything with her hands, and then with the tiny plastic hands the show gave her. Tickle Monster is an Innocent Boy. Not a monster. A Tickle Puppy. They're good together because they're both kinda 16 on the inside. When they return, Jack Stone pulls Christen aside and they make out and now Jonathan is a Tickle Madster

Dean is torn between Kristina (smart, sensitive, kind, invested, emotional) and D. Lo (hot, fun, attractive, hot, good-looking, feisty, also she's hot). Poor Dean. Robby refers to the two women in question as "cars" that Dean is "test driving," so now Robby's on my shit list. Kristina finds it very "disrespectful" that, well, Dean and D. Lo probably banged. Where do we all fall on Deantina versus Dean Lo, the couple names I just made up?

"Right now, I think the orphanage was better than Paradise."
—Kristina being really friggin' dramatic.

Lacey is literally sitting on Daniel's lap while they make out when Jasmine decides to steal him for a second. If Lacey were smart, she would go to bed and make it clear that if you leave her, you don't get her back—but instead she glowers at them from her perch above the beach, like the Count of Monte Cristo or something.

The next part of the recap is about the "studio edition" conversations between Chris Harrison, a handful of contestants, and Corinne Olympios, who will speak about the sexual assault allegations that briefly shut down the show. If you are upset or made uncomfortable by the discussion of these topics, please consider skipping the rest of the recap. And if you or someone you know is a dealing with trauma as the result of a sexual assault, call RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.

Here to hang are Wells, Alexis, Amanda, and Raven. Wells is like, "Yeah, who knows if I will date Danielle," and Amanda is like, "Meep moop meep meep," and Raven is like, "If Sarah tries to take Adam away from me, I will cut a bitch, ha ha," and makes some jokes about spoons and ALEXIS DOESN'T GET AN ANECDOTE EVEN THOUGH SHE IS THE BEST ONE?

(I love you, Alexis.)

Jasmine returns to confront Matt. They have zero new information.

Finally Corinne appears. For those who didn't watch Nick's season, Corinne is a blunt, highly amusing, and probably harmless rich girl from Florida. She should have been the star of this season of Bachelor in Paradise, but instead here we are. She smiles in a spunky white dress, considerably less confident than when she gave a similar studio audience bowls of cheesy pasta, but she is, she says, "better." Corinne explains that because she was drinking on a medication that (she realized later) shouldn't be combined with alcohol, she doesn't actually remember the events of that first day on Paradise. Looking back, she doesn't feel that DeMario did anything wrong, and understands that he did not understand she was "mentally checked out," and it's "no one's fault." It was an "unfortunate situation" that "really sucks." She teared during a few points of the interview.

Advertisement

After talking a little more about how hard this situation was for DeMario, Corinne thanks the audience and her supporters. Then there's a preview of the rest of the season. Good Lord, I hope it's fun.

Parting Thoughts: We'll never know the full story of what happened, and we don't have the right to. All that matters is that Olympios is satisfied with the outcome of the investigation.