Tart: [Name of law firm where I work.]Man: Hello, is [legal secretary] there?Tart: She’s on the line. Would you like her voicemail?Man: And how are you today?Tart: I’m fine.Man: Just fine? That’s it?Tart: Yes.Man: You have a very nice voice.Tart: Thank you.Man: Have you thought of going into radio? You should be in radio.Tart: No, I haven’t.Man: Would you like to be in radio? I have connections.Tart: No, thank you. I’m a writer.Man: That’s too bad. You have a very nice voice. I can get you into radio.Tart: No, that’s okay.Man: Are you sure you wouldn’t like to be in radio?Tart’s Brain: Don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it-Tart: I think I’ll be an exotic dancer.Man: Heheheheheheheheh! Your husband and family wouldn’t like that very much, though!Tart: Umm…can I help you, sir?

Seriously, when you see the neice of the station manager getting 50k for degaussing tapes, while you are only allowed 30 hours a week at 8.5/hr (because if they gave you 31 hours they’d have to give you insurance and vacations too…) and then have Old White Men? telling Tart: “your voice is velvet and please let me get you a job in radio.”

I’m okay. Work is less boring than it was yesterday and I have a cute, comfy dress on and my hair looks sort of cute, but I think my brain is atrophying and I’m totally broke until I get paid tomorrow.

I’ve had that conversation a few times, though it rarely veered like that at the end. Of course, the last time was the head of the NPR station here, who most definitely was not hitting on me, so I chose to be flattered that he likes my voice.

It used to happen a lot more before I started working in the office that investigates harassment. Go figure.

“I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. God, I hope I don’t come off like that. I just thought this was funny.”

This series starting with the post on the “do you know if it is a boy or girl?” (or the one previous) seems to be repeating a vicitm theme to me… or am I missing something?

If you really do want people to treat you with more respect, then it might be a good idea to let us know that you are just trying to be funny… I would have passed on commenting. It appears very much to me that you are not exercising the control that is within your power.

I don’t know you so can only assume from the topics and the content of your posts that you are unhappy about your job… is that funny to you? Please let me know. thanks

Geez. Can’t a person just grump a little to let off steam without it becoming a personal and professional “crisis”?

It’s like the internet equivalent of “smile!” followed by, “why are you so grumpy?” when the order isn’t received well.

Does there have to be a big secret Reason behind Tart’s posts? Must they be this big Cry For Help? Can’t a person just complain now and then? To blow off steam and share gripes with friendly, like-minded folks?

I don’t believe my posts require “just trying to be funny” disclaimers any more than Melissa’s require “just trying to discuss the hypocrisies of our current administration” disclaimers. Interpret what I say the way you want to, but know this because I’m saying it now: I don’t perceive myself to be “a victim.”

But. That young women are condescended to by older men is a fact. That these attitudes contribute to issues from the glass pay ceiling to a culture-wide lack of respect for women’s domestic work is something I believe to be true.

I believe it’s important to let men know that it’s rather impolite to ask a woman who looks like she’s 4 months pregnant about her alleged fetus. Just like a friend stopped me from saying “that’s so gay” when I was 18. She was right; it was stupid and unnecessary.

It is possible to feel annoyed by the little things and infuriated by the huge injustices of being a thinking woman, while maintaining levity and a sense of humor about the issues that don’t require marches and demonstrations (like silly comments at one’s workplace.) But I trust my readers to recognize which is which.

And I’m quitting my job in 3 weeks. Which is not to say that when I go back to nannying, I won’t be vaguely sexually harassed in the kiddie park. And when I am, I will write about it, whether it’s funny or not.

It is possible to feel annoyed by the little things and infuriated by the huge injustices of being a thinking woman, while maintaining levity and a sense of humor about the issues that don’t require marches and demonstrations (like silly comments at one’s workplace.) But I trust my readers to recognize which is which.

Oh… guess that’s an invitation not to read… okay, I get the hint. The fact is I have not been around people who complain about their jobs for over thirty years… I guess I no longer know the difference between someone who is just grousing and someone who is inviting serious feedback… grouse away.

A good friend of mine is a nanny for 5 kids under 8 years old. She loves them almost like they’re her own, but she’s slightly underpaid and her checks bounce about once a month, and the parents are disorganized and with 5 kids, disasters are nearly constant. She loves her job dearly, but when she calls me, exasperated with dealing with the responsibility that comes with holding a family that’s not hers together, I think she’s entitled. Bitching about one’s job is natural, and often has nothing to do with one’s enjoyment of it. I’m surprised anyone out there doesn’t know people who sometimes need to scream about theirs.

“I’m surprised anyone out there doesn’t know people who sometimes need to scream about theirs.”

Just as I’m surprised that you were only grousing about yours… like I said, we don’t know each other. One of my pet peeves was people I used to work with who groused about their jobs but never did anything about the conditions that caused them to grouch (either internally or externally). I could never really understand that… anyhow, I left corporate America to be self employed. Those who I have associated myself with for a very long while are all relatively happy to be employed in the fields they have chosen for themselves (mostly art related).

To each their own, and now I know your motivation, I no longer feel the need to invest anymore than cursory attention to the steam you blow. best to you

“You honestly cannot distinguish between ‘people say weird stuff, let’s commiserate about it’ versus ‘help, people keep saying weird things to me and I need advice on how to make it stop’?”

Guess it’s been too long… part of the them of Tart’s posts are along the line of “nobody really cares about me”… or at least tht’s how I read it. I don’t tend to ignore that message or blow it off as grouching. I get it now. thanks

What… happened here? I check in to the “Ooh, a guy was vaguely creepy to me” post’s comment thread and it’s like I’m suddenly in a room of people arguing about what feminism is. Crazy!

Tart – when I was a receptionist I got hit on all the time with the “you have a really nice voice” line. My boss would routinely tell me that his customers asked him what I look like. * When I said, “Do you tell them that I have long, curly red hair and that I weigh 400 pounds?” he would never answer me.

For what ever it’s worth, I am always happy to see a post with Tart’s tag at the top..

I know it will be worth reading whether it is a simple musing on life, a feminist declaration, or simply a snarky little bit of fluff.

Tart has style, Tart is smart, and I mostly tend to agree with what she says. Her observations rarely fail to illicit an aha! from me.

I love that, because as a mid-40’s male in South Texas one wouldn’t think I have much in common with a twenty-something So-Cal/ Manhattanite/soon to be So-Cal young lady. That is one of the beautiful things about the internet in general, and this site specifically. Without either one, I would never have come in contact with this beautiful person. And by beautiful, I mean she has the traits I think a person should have.

I think you missed the caller’s point – he wasn’t trying to compliment you, he was trying to insult you.

The mere suggestion that anyone might actually work in the radio business these days is a gross insult. Shooting rats at the city dump is more satisfying (and you get all the rats you can eat). Radio is no longer a business, its a giant time sink that destroys people’s lives.

I got a snicker out of this posting — thanks! Reminds me of a former co-worker who — if I didn’t have an inane smile plastered across my face at all times (even when facing my computer and working away) — would walk by and say, “Smile!”

Responses I considered included:
– Is that an order? Because if it is, I need to see your authorization.
– Sure. Be funny.
– *grin* (which instantly melts away, for sarcastic effect)
– So, it’s my job to be decorative for you? Why isn’t your job the same towards me?

What I actually said once — and then smiled afterward at the poleaxed look on his face:
– Here, I’ll bare my teeth at you. Close enough?