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Living with Light #3

My last two posts focused on becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings, releasing the negative and focusing on the positive, so that we can discover our true heart’s yearnings, utilizing the Law of Attraction. In this post, I want to talk about something that, although unpleasant, is often part of the journey towards changing our thought patterns and fulfilling our goals. I hadn’t been planning to write about this particular aspect yet, but my own experiences since my last post appeared have messed with my original outline for this blog! When something like that happens, I assume that it’s for a reason and maybe it’s what I need to write about at this particular time. So here goes:

Over the last several months, I have been formulating a new set of goals that focused on several areas of my life, and keeping watch on my thoughts and feelings so that I could remain positive. No human being can think and feel positive 100% of the time, but if we can raise the percentage to at least 51% positive vs. negative (the higher the % the better), we will see significant changes in our lives. I was very excited about my goals, and was utilizing many of the processes for manifesting them with the Law of Attraction, which I believe is simply a matter of cooperating with the Divine to bring about the best circumstances for our particular life journey.

However, very shortly after my last post, most of the goals I had been carefully considering and planning came under fire and began to look as though they would completely fall apart. I won’t bore you with a lot of personal details, but here in a nutshell is what happened: First, an online friend reacted with negativity and criticism to some of my beliefs, which hurt me and deflated some of my enthusiasm, despite the fact that I knew I shouldn’t let it. Then, a particular event caused my husband to get cold feet again about a relocation goal which had just been starting to get his support. Some of my efforts concerning other goals seemed to meet with indifference and a lack of results (insert cricket chirping sounds here). All in all, my confidence was badly shaken, leaving me feeling adrift, without direction, discouraged about my goals, and finding it difficult to remain positive and hopeful.

Meanwhile, through another set of circumstances, a goal that I had not been focusing on suddenly came to the forefront. Although I did not feel receptive to it at first, I soon found myself becoming excited about that goal again, much to my surprise. So at least this was a positive development. But still, I must admit that all these circumstances threw me for a loop, causing me to rethink my goals, putting some of them on hold, changing my strategy on others, and focusing on some I had not been previously considering.

I know that I am not alone in this experience. I have heard often about this sort of thing happening to other people when they begin to make positive changes in their lives and pursue their dreams. In fact, it has happened to me before regarding goals I have set in the past. Sometimes I did attain those goals eventually, and in other cases those goals were replaced with other, better ones. So, since I have been thinking a lot about this turn of events in my own life, I thought it would be helpful to explore some of the reasons why things like this might happen just when we have set our goals and started to seriously work towards them:

Course Correction: Whenever I set goals, I always pray that what I am pursuing is in keeping with the Divine will for my life. It’s never wise to doggedly and blindly pursue goals without seeking guidance, because we often can end up unhappy because some of our goals may not turn out to be what we expected and instead cause trouble and regret. I totally trust that God always leads me in the right direction, provided I keep an open mind and heart. So when setbacks and disappointments rear their heads, I seriously consider whether Divine guidance is correcting my course and showing me that what I am pursuing is not a true goal and is not beneficial to me in the long run. (More about Course Corrections in an upcoming post).

Cosmic Shake-Up: Whenever we set a goal, it requires the Universe, guided by the Divine Mind, to put things in motion to bring it about for us. Because of this, it sometimes means that for a while things will be in chaos. But if we stay open and trusting, we will discern whether there is something we need to do differently or better in pursuit of our goals. Sometimes we just need to wait a bit for “the dust to settle,” and we will see our way clear again.

Test of our Determination: How committed are we to our goals? Can we stay the course, even when other people tear down our beliefs and aspirations, even when it seems that everything is falling apart, and/or we feel we don’t have what it takes to succeed at our goals? Sometimes setbacks are a way of putting our determination to the test.

Test of our Trust and Faith in the Divine: Even though we say that we want to do God’s will, and that we don’t want any goal that is not in our best interest or that of others involved, because we are human, deep-down we are always hoping that God’s will is the same as our own. It’s only natural that when a goal appears to be crumbling, we will feel deeply disappointed, maybe even a little bitter and angry. But it’s important not to immediately give up on all of our goals. We need to continue to put our faith in Divine guidance and do our best to keep an open mind, trusting that if one goal is not meant to be, then something different and better will take its place.

Divine Detour: Almost all of our goals do, out of necessity, involve other people and circumstances. Because they have free will, sometimes other people might be disinclined or unable to do their part in what is needed to allow our plans to succeed. It can also be that another person’s involvement or cooperation in our goal would not be in their best interest. This does not always mean that our goals won’t manifest, but it may mean that a detour and/or delay is necessary. Think of it like your GPS recalculating your route when you come across a road that’s closed.

Things in Our Life are Out of Balance: Sometimes we can develop tunnel vision about our goals, and in the process ignore or put on the back burner other goals, gifts and areas of our life that are actually important for us to focus on now. I suspect that this is what recently happened to me. I trust that there is a good reason why I have been called upon to resurrect a particular goal that has been dormant in my life for the past couple of years. I have now included this other goal in my plans. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I’m enjoying including it in my life again, even though at first I was reluctant, even resentful about it.

These are some of the reasons we experience setbacks, even complete chaos and confusion, when we set goals and make the decision to effect positive change in our lives. Although these “roadblocks” are disturbing and discouraging, it’s important to stay determined to remain positive and keep our minds and hearts open to where our path may lead, even if we can’t see very far ahead right now.

I would love to hear some of your own experiences and insights into this problem. So, if you’d like to share, please comment below.

LIVING WITH LIGHT #2:

In my last post (“Time to Wake Up” – Living with Light #1) we explored the subject of negative thinking and how it can set us up for failure at what we want to be, do, or have, how it can keep attracting the same bad situations into our life and adversely affect how we act and react to the world around us. I listed a number of common negative thoughts so that we could identify the areas in which we seem to have the most trouble. In this way, we are “waking up” spiritually and mentally by recognizing the numerous negative thoughts we have on a daily basis. If you did not see this list, please read my last post, the first in an ongoing series that will explore in simple steps how to change your circumstances for the better, how to cooperate with the Creator to bring more joy, peace and abundance into your life.

So, once we’ve identified some of our negative thought patterns, how do we turn things around? Most negativity is an expression of what we hate, fear, and want to avoid — in other words, all the things we DON’T want! Thoughts are energy, and because “like attracts like,” constantly dwelling on what we don’t want will keep bringing what we don’t want into our lives. The subconscious mind accepts everything you tell it, whether good or bad, positive or negative. For instance, it doesn’t matter if you say, “I don’t want to be poor.” You are still thinking about poverty and probably fearing it, which is subconsciously setting you up to fall prey to more circumstances, people, and bad decisions that will keep you from having more money. Furthermore, the negative energy you are emitting will draw those circumstances and people to you.

To bring about change, we need to focus on what we love and yearn for, rather than what we don’t love and don’t want. Think of it this way: Supposing you went with a group of friends to an all-you-can-eat buffet. You go down the buffet table looking at all the varieties of food, and every time you see a food that you dislike and would never want to eat, you add it to your plate. By the time you get to the end of the buffet, your dish is filled with food you can’t stand. You pay for it and go sit at the table with your friends. You sit there, not eating, feeling hungry and miserable, while your friends are heartily eating and enjoying their food.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Who the heck would do that???” Well, we do exactly that every time we waste our valuable energy by thinking and talking about what we DON’T want out of life! The friends who are enjoying their meal represent the people who focus their thoughts and energies on the things they truly want, to which they aspire, who love their lives and feel happy and satisfied, while you look on and wonder why you are so miserable. Would it help you to resent and envy them because they are enjoying their food and you’re not? No, because you chose the food yourself! This life is a precious treasure — God’s gift to you. Your power to co-create with God the kind of life you truly want is part of this gift. Why would you waste it on things you don’t want? Why would you expend your precious time and energy perpetuating a life that is unsatisfying to you?

Remember, a random negative thought or two will not bring a host of bad things upon you. There is a time delay between our thoughts and their consequences, and positive thoughts are a great deal stronger than negative ones. That’s the good news! The bad news, though, is that sustained or habitual negative thoughts, especially when accompanied by strong emotion, will eventually attract negative things into your life. Like the food you chose at the buffet, the currency of your thoughts and feelings is capable of bringing both good and bad things to you. It’s a matter of which ones you choose.

Because we have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, it is impossible to monitor each one. But an easy way to identify your predominant thoughts is to tune into your feelings, because your feelings are the result of your thoughts. Are you feeling negative emotions, such as: boredom, irritability, disappointment, anger, worry, depression, hatred, envy, guilt or fear? Or are you feeling positive emotions like love, gratitude, joy, excitement, enthusiasm, hope, satisfaction? Don’t feel guilty or afraid because you are experiencing a negative emotion or thinking a negative thought, as that is just adding more negativity!

We don’t want to deny our negative emotions and pretend they don’t exist, because they often serve to point out areas in our lives that need our attention. Also, it is natural to feel negative emotions at particular crisis points in our lives, i.e., loss of a job, death of a loved one. If this is the case, you must allow yourself to experience the emotions, and to seek help if necessary. We’re also not talking here about serious mental or emotional illness, such as clinical depression or bipolar disorder, for which one needs to be under medical supervision. What we’re discussing are the typical thoughts and emotions that most of us experience on a regular basis. However, even if you are going through a life crisis or suffering from a mental illness, you can still apply these principles in addition to any other help you may be receiving.

Self-awareness is the key. Once you are aware of why you are feeling a particular way, you can then understand what your emotions are telling you and what changes you can make to improve your circumstances. You can then achieve mastery of your conscious thoughts. One way to do this is to practice a simple form of meditation. Don’t let the word “meditation” scare you. I don’t mean that you need to sit in Lotus Position for two hours every day and chant “Om” (although this is perfectly fine if you want to do it!). You only need a few minutes, and the following practice is very simple and will become easier with time:

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit comfortably in a quiet room (turn off all your devices and ask to not be disturbed). Begin to focus on your breathing and/or picture a blank movie screen in your mind. As you sit there, thoughts will naturally bubble up. Just “watch” the thoughts. Don’t get involved with them; just witness them, and then turn your mind gently but firmly back to your breathing or to the blank movie screen.

If the thought is negative, acknowledge that you had a negative thought. Do not try to resist it, because resistance means you are focused on it with powerful emotion, which will only make it stronger. Just release it without judgement or guilt. Continue this way until the timer goes off. Make an effort to do this every day, or at least several times a week. You will find that you feel more relaxed and focused after this, and may want to do it for longer periods. Eventually you will reach a point where the intruding thoughts will decrease, and you will experience longer periods of peace as your mind lets go of its constant chatter.

If you are feeling particularly sad, angry, depressed or fearful, you can use the following exercise to get to the root of your feelings and release them:

Sit in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, with all electronic devices turned off or in another room. Focus on your breathing until you become more relaxed. Then ask yourself why you are feeling unhappy, and express the reason out loud, i.e., “I am afraid that I won’t find another job,” or “I’m sad and lonely because my love life is terrible right now.” Once you have identified the emotion and its cause, don’t try to resist it or force it to go away. “Fighting” an emotion (like “fighting” an illness) usually doesn’t work, since it involves negative emotions like anger, resentment or resistance, which can actually attract more negativity to you and make the condition worse.

Face the negative emotion and ask it what it might be trying to teach you. Let it speak to you, without forcing it or censoring it. Learn from what it is telling you. For instance, if you are depressed because you’re sick, the reason you might hear when you ask this question is that your life was out of balance, you were stressed, rushing around, not taking time to relax, not eating and sleeping right. The illness was your body’s way of telling you to slow down and take better care of it, to bring your life into a better balance of mind, body and spirit.

Thank your subconscious mind for giving you the reason. Tell it that you will heed the lesson, and that you no longer need to experience the negative emotions. You can picture yourself letting go of the emotion in any way you like: i.e., blowing it away like dandelion fluff, releasing it as a balloon, or watching it wash away like sand in an ocean wave. Once you learn the lesson that your negative emotion is trying to teach you, it will no longer have a strong hold on you. You will be able to release it and move on.

Once again, do not worry or become anxious about having negative thoughts, as this will attract more negative thoughts to you. We all have numerous negative thoughts occurring throughout each day, but they become a problem only when we dwell upon them and repeat them often or infuse them with strong emotion. Say to yourself, “All my negative thoughts are weak, while my positive thoughts are very powerful!”

Simply by having read this post and the last one, you have become much more aware of any negative thought patterns you have. From now on, you will not be on “automatic pilot,” reacting in the same old way to everything that happens in your life. You will now be aware of your reactions (your thoughts) in each situation and can take action on them! You are now in the driver’s seat of your mind, no longer a helpless and clueless passenger!

Photo (w/o text) by ANDRIK ↟ LANGFIELD ↟ PETRIDES on Unsplash

The simple forms of meditation given here are an excellent way to become more observant of your thoughts and feelings in order to learn to control them. Meditation has tremendous benefits for mind, body and spirit. There are many excellent books, blogs, and videos about meditation if you would like to explore this practice in more depth. One good blog to check out for meditation tips and links to meditation videos is ThoughtsnLife: https://thoughtsnlifeblog.com/meditations/

Living with Light #1

No, we’re not talking here about the setting on your alarm clock. You’re probably thinking, “Obviously, I’m already awake, or I wouldn’t be reading this right now!” You might not be sleeping, but are you fully awake and aware of the life you are creating for yourself at this very moment?

How do you create your life and your future? You do it through the thoughts and feelings that you hold in your mind consistently over a period of time. We have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, but many of them are random and fleeting and don’t have much impact. What does matter, though, are our dominant thoughts — the ones we dwell on consistently, the habitual thought patterns we follow on a regular basis. Those thoughts of today are what draw the events, situations, and people that will form our tomorrow.

What we don’t realize is that what we think consciously and believe subconsciously affects how we act and react to the world around us. It sends out a signal that in turn has an effect on other people, drawing those of like mind to us. This is great if our thoughts are positive and constructive – who doesn’t want to be surrounded by people and situations that lift our spirits, encourage and inspire us to be our best selves? But what if our thoughts are sad, gloomy, bitter, angry, fearful or anxious – do we really want to draw people to us who will just perpetuate this negativity? Please don’t invite me to that party!

Our thoughts also influence our future, because when we are steeped in negativity, we do not make wise choices or take constructive action. We are too reactive, act too hastily without sufficient reflection, respond to others with negativity, try to control or manipulate people, or force events and situations in such a way as to sabotage our own goals and progress.

Many of you may know about the Law of Attraction (LOA), which is based on the theory that “like attracts like.” Personally, I firmly believe in this law because I have seen it manifest over and over in my own life – for both good and bad, depending on the way I was thinking, feeling and acting at the time. Although the LOA was made popular by Rhonda Byrne’s inspiring 2006 movie, “The Secret,” it has been written about over the last 100+ years by various “New Thought” authors, and these principles actually have been around in one form or another for thousands of years. They form a part of virtually every major religion, and are mentioned by many great thinkers and spiritual leaders and in many religious texts, including the Judeo-Christian Bible and the teachings of Buddha. They may not have called it “the Law of Attraction,” as that is a relatively new term, but in principle they were teaching the same truths. We may have heard their words hundreds of times, but just never truly understood or “got it” on a deep, basic level.

Utilizing the LOA is just another phrase for unwavering faith in Divine Power to manifest that to which we aspire. Although many modern LOA proponents use the term “the Universe,” I prefer the word God or Divine Power instead of “Universe,” because I believe that God is the supreme intelligence that created all things; the Universe is simply a creation through which God works to manifest, using the power of love. But it doesn’t matter what you call it, and you don’t have to be a particularly religious person to utilize it; it is only necessary to have an open mind and to believe in a Power greater than yourself, which is the Source of everything and the loving Force that is present within you and everything else in the Universe. You can refer to this Power by any name that resonates with you.

Even those who are not of a spiritual or metaphysical mindset would likely agree that our subconscious beliefs affect the way we act and appear to others, and that they definitely have an impact on our own bodies and mental/physical health (many medical professionals today acknowledge the mind-body connection).

Image courtesy of kittijaroon at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is the first post in an ongoing series that will explore in easy steps how to change your life for the better, how to experience more joy, happiness, serenity and abundance. I like to call this “Living with Light,” as opposed to dwelling in the darkness of negativity. The first step is “waking up” by becoming aware of the quality of our thoughts. Awareness is the beginning of changing things for the better, because if we walk around unconscious of what we’re doing, we will never change. Below are some questions to help you identify your own habitual thought patterns.

Try to take something/someone away from a person because you think you deserve it more? Try to turn others against someone because you’re jealous?

Constantly worry about your loved ones and what could happen to them, or about losing your partner, your money, your health, etc.?

Okay, so you probably identified with at least several – and maybe a lot – of these. Some of them might rarely or never pertain to you, while others are fairly frequent. If so, welcome to the human race! We ALL think, say or do these things from time to time. A fleeting thought or occasional slip-up won’t have a significant effect on your life or your future. If, however, you habitually think, do or say any of the above, if the thoughts carry a strong emotional charge, you are setting yourself up to attract exactly what you say you hate, fear and don’t want! This is because our subconscious mind believes everything we tell it, whether it’s true, false, good or bad. It is merely responding to our conscious thoughts, words and actions, like an obedient, cooperative child. It doesn’t analyze whether the thoughts are good or bad for you, positive or negative. Analyzing and choosing are the domain of the conscious mind; the subconscious just accepts what we tell it.

Consequently, with our negative thoughts we will attract, or subconsciously be attracted to, just the circumstances and people that we want so much to avoid! We also will block any good things that God wants to send us. Nothing is forced on us by God, who respects and honors our free will. So always thinking negatively about your life is like keeping your hands behind your back when someone offers you a gift. You cannot accept the gift unless your hands are open to receive it.

LOA experts recommend that we shift our positive thoughts to at least 51% over the negative ones. Even this 1% over the halfway mark could be enough to dramatically change one’s life. I believe that the more we can shift our thoughts from the negative to the positive, the quicker and more dramatic the change will be!

Legend says that in the Buddha’s travels, he encountered a man who was awed by his peaceful, radiant persona. The man asked, “My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being? Are you a god? A magician? A wizard?” The Buddha replied, “No. I am awake.”

We cannot even begin to improve our lives unless we become awake and aware of the negative thoughts we harbor on a daily basis; otherwise, we walk around in a perpetual state of “automatic pilot” and unconsciousness. Once you become aware, you will begin to notice anytime you are thinking or speaking negatively. You also will be shocked and dismayed at all the negativity you will notice around you from other people. In upcoming posts we’ll examine these negative thoughts and attitudes and explore ways to bring about positive change and achieve our goals and dreams.

As always, I welcome your feedback, so comment below…and have a positively wonderful day!

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Gloria J. Pinsker, Author

MY MISSION STATEMENT:

To give hope, help and encouragement to those who, like me, are striving to lead a good and productive life and stay true to their spiritual ideals, while effectively coping with the stresses and problems of everyday life.