He Said, She Said, I Said: As Long As You Love Me

Let’s return to the 90’s, shall we? I don’t know about you, but I was all about the cheesy pop songs in the 90’s. If it was catchy, it had me going. I went to a handful of concerts in my day, though I’ll admit, most of the concerts I attended were ones I performed for my stuffed animals in my living room. Sometimes it’s fun to revisit songs you sang so much that you stopped paying attention to the words…

And so…a blast from the past – As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys:

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mineI’m leavin’ my life in your hands

Er…that sounds dangerous. I feel like one’s life should never be at the mercy of another.

People say I’m crazy and that I am blind Risking it all in a glance

“Risking it all” sounds pretty intense. And I hope you’re using “at a glance” loosely in this situation. “Looks can be deceiving” isn’t a wildly overused phrase for nothing.

And how you got me blind is still a mystery I can’t get you out of my head Don’t care what is written in your history As long as you’re here with me

Again, hoping “blind” is metaphorical. Either way, this all sounds a little shady to me…

I don’t care who you are Where you’re from What you did As long as you love meWho you areWhere you’re fromDon’t care what you didAs long as you love me

You’re taking this “love is all you need” thing a little too far. I was with you up until “what you did”. I feel like there has to be some kind of line. You MUST have standards.

Every little thing that you have said and done Feels like it’s deep within meDoesn’t really matter if you’re on the run It seems like we’re meant to be

ON THE RUN?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

I don’t care who you are (who you are) Where you’re from (where you’re from) What you did As long as you love me (I don’t know) Who you are (who you are) Where you’re from (where you’re from) Don’t care what you did As long as you love me (yeah)

WHAT DON’T YOU KNOW?!?! You have GOT to be kidding me. No. It doesn’t matter if that “I don’t know” applied to the “who”, “where” or “what”, it’s NOT OKAY. “Oh, you’re a serial killer who likes to make quesadillas out of people’s flesh? Awesome.” NO!

I’ve tried to hide it so that no one knows But I guess it shows When you look into my eyes What you did and where you’re comin from I don’t care, as long as you love me, baby

You try to hide it? So, let me get this straight. Not only are you in love with a potential criminal you seemingly just met, but you’re also embarrassed by it? A real fairytale romance you’ve got going on there.

You, sir from the back streets, have a lot of self-esteem issues that you need to work through. I know that people say “beggars can’t be choosers”, but even beggars are allowed to rule out people guilty of crimes that will get them 25 to life.