A girl was asked what gift she wanted for Christmas. She couldn’t remember the name of the toy, and uttered this congruent conflation of “can’t put my finger on it” and “on the tip of my tongue”, both meaning something one can’t quite recall. Fingers have tips so perhaps that is what led to the speaker’s confusion. Or maybe she had watched too many reruns of the movie “A Christmas Story”. A big thanks to Hannah Evanuik for overhearing this one!

Maggie Acker uttered this beauty when talking about her car that stopped running. It is a congruent conflation of “kicked the bucket” and “shit the bed”, both idioms referring to something or someone that died or failed. “Shit the bed” is a relatively new idiom (I found it in the Wiktionary – https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/shit_the_bed ). It usually refers to something that breaks and can’t be repaired, like a cell phone. Interestingly, in the U.K, it means to express surprise. The mental mix up probably also was caused by the similar sounding words “kick” and “shit”. A big, big thanks to John Fischer who heard this one and passed it on.

Listening to the radio this morning and the DJs were discussing Trump’s wall speech and the Democratic response. One guy was making the point that both stated their positions but no minds were changed. To which the other guy replied “ you hit the bottom line”. This is a conflation of “hit the nail on the head” (exactly the right thing) and “the bottom line” (by extension, the most important aspect of something). “Hit bottom” (lowest point in a decline) might also have been in the speaker’s mind, considering the nadir in politics right now with the shutdown. A big thanks to Steve Grieme for hearing this one on his morning commute and sending it in.

THE PRESIDENT: Well, the news incorrectly reported. Because I said, well, if we go back and everything is peachy- dory, and you say, “We’ll talk over 30 days,” at the end of 30 days, are you going to give us great border security, which includes a wall or a steel barrier.

This is a mash up of the expressions peachy keen and hunky-dory, both meaning fine or satisfactory. This seems to be a fairly common malaphor, based on internet hits. Now hunky keen is a different matter….Several of you caught this one, including Steve Grieme and Mike Kovacs, both expert malaphor hunters.

Another from sports talk radio. Andrew Fillipponi from 93.7 The Fan (a Pittsburgh sports talk radio show) was talking about Steelers coach Mike Tomlin’s lack of anger and passion at his press conference after the loss to the New Orleans Saints. It is a sweet mashup of “fire and brimstone” (intense speech filled with emotion and anger) and “piss and vinegar” (having an abundance or excessive amount of rowdiness or enthusiasm). Maybe the speaker didn’t want to say “piss” on the air, but he could then have substituted “spit” as “spit and vinegar” has the same meaning. The contributor of this nice malaphor wanted to remain anonymous so I respect his/her wishes.

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) uttered this gem on CNN January 4, 2019. The context is regarding the recent Government shutdown over Trump’s proposed wall. This is a conflation of “like talking to a wall” (a futile conversation because the other party is not listening) and “like nailing Jello to a wall” (a futile attempt at something). Both idioms contain the word “wall” (appropriate in context, right?) and both concern something that is futile (a conversation or an attempt). A hat tip to Tom Justice for hearing this one!

This gem was seen on the sleeve of an Illy cup of coffee (see picture below). While it may not be unintentional (Illy is an Italian coffee company, so who knows?) it was too good to pass up. It is a conflation of “top of the heap” and “cream of the crop”, both meaning superior to others or the very best. This one is similar to a malaphor posted a few years ago, “He is the top of the notch”. https://malaphors.com/2012/12/11/he-is-the-top-of-the-notch/

A big thanks to Steve Grieme for spotting this one in sunny St. Petersburg, Florida, and taking a picture of it!