Park District Party Is Just The Ticket For Lincoln Parkers

The Chicago Park District threw a fancy party for fancy people recently.

It was sponsored by the Lincoln Park Conservatory Council, and it was held at the Lincoln Park Conservatory.

They even had valet parking for the swanky event, because park officials know people don't like to walk. And how do they know this?

Park officials are spending at least $2.1 million this year on 49 chauffeurs. Just read their budget. It's right there, in the same book with the medicine balls and the softball bats.

The conservatory is just south of Fullerton Avenue at Stockton Drive, near the zoo. It's moist and humid inside, and filled with plants.

The boss of the advisory council is Robert Kleinschmidt--a famous interior architect, which is a fancy way of saying interior designer. He's so particular about his interiors that, according to a Tribune story, he changes all the rugs, upholsteries, artwork and accessories in his home each May and October.

"Our world is so complex that if you can come to a home that is orderly through design, you can have a wonderful life," Kleinschmidt was quoted as saying.

It's a good philosophy. Almost like, "Change your socks and you'll be happy."

So anyway, back to our story. The advisory council had its party on Nov. 30. Fancy people were attending. At least nobody was dressed in the ancient Archer and California haute couture--a T-shirt with a pack of Luckies twisted up in the left sleeve.

They didn't serve Polish sausage, not even the fancy smoked variety. Instead, food was supplied by Mon Ami Gabi, which is either a French restaurant on Lincoln Park West or a perfume for bisexual art students.

They raised about $20,000 to pay for the little tags stuck in the dirt to identify the plants.

But in exchange for this wonderful benefit to civilization, some other people had to pay.

One passerby, Greg Bartell, was having his usual afternoon jog when he spied some of the partygoers in long overcoats, party gowns and heels. They were women.

"They were a couple of older ladies, very nicely dressed and all made up. They were excited they were going to a function," Bartell said.

The elderly women didn't upset Bartell. Here's what upset him.

Chicago cops were eager-beavering their way across Stockton Drive, writing parking tickets on all the cars that dared to park there.

Usually, it's OK to park there. Because it's a public street. But cops had been sent to write tickets--and City Hall had sent at least one tow truck to clean Stockton Drive of cars.

That way, the fancy folks in the fancy party a few feet away could have their very own valet parking.

What made it worse is that there already was parking available to the plant lovers. There are two parking lots within easy walking distance from the conservatory at Stockton just south of Fullerton.

But park officials said that was too inconvenient for the partygoers. And if anyone was going to be inconvenienced, it was the people of Lincoln Park who need a place to park their cars. It's also inconvenient to get ticketed.

"I noticed it while I was out running," Bartell said, and his account was confirmed by Park District and city officials and 43rd Ward Ald. Vi Daley's office.

"Right around the corner there's a city owned-parking lot, people were out there talking about it," he said.

"Essentially the neighborhood to the west of Lincoln Park West is zoned parking, so Stockton is the last refuge in an obviously very congested area. It just galled all of the people who were standing out there that they were taking away public parking for a private event, when there's a public lot right around the corner.

"The fact that they had made Stockton a no-parking zone and de facto had taxed the people who were parked on Stockton by ticketing them really made me mad," Bartell said.

This penetrating observation, of course, is at the crux of today's problem.

Why should people get ticketed, and exposed to rapacious city tow trucks, just because some Park District bureaucrats want to kiss up to fancy-pants plant lovers?

"The door of the conservatory is right there, and it would have been harder for the valet parkers to go over to Cannon and then come back," said Park District spokeswoman Angie Amores.

"When you think about it, let's say you're going to Cannon Drive; to get back you have to cut through Lincoln Park Zoo by maybe climbing the fence or something or just run back," said Amores, describing the valet parkers' logistical nightmare.

"Meanwhile you have 20 more people lining up. To me, it's not a matter of convenience. The fact is, they were benefiting not only the conservatory, but the Lincoln Park neighborhood and the whole city."

To me, it says something different. To me it says, "Let them eat cake." Or, since it's Lincoln Park, let them eat a biscotti with a double decaf latte.