It's Just Hair!

07.20.09 | No Comments

The Frisky posted a piece on “Why Women Chop Off Their Hair” back in April, but I just came across it now. Author Leonora Epstein says: When a woman lops off her long locks, it’s often assumed that her action was a result of man troubles. Fair enough. I’ve seen this happen to several friends after breakups as a way to cleanse their lives.

Oy. Really? Are we still thinking that cutting ones hair off must be about boy trouble? Couldn’t possibly be because you like short hair, or you look better in that style, right? Or because long hair can be hot and a pain in the ass? Or because we just feel like it?

If you really want to feel like gouging your eyes out, check out Epstein’s five other possible explanations as to why ladies may suddenly cut off their hair, cause we’re multi-faceted and stuff.

They move to France. Remember Kate Hudson in “Le Divorce”? Her story isn’t unique. After being in Paris for only four days at the start of my junior year abroad, I transformed by boob-length hair into an angled bob that grazed my chin. When I came home to my host family, they told me I looked “très chic,” but I could tell they secretly thought that I might as well have just bought a beret and striped shirt.

They become lesbians (or at least try it out). In my first year at all women’s school Smith College (otherwise known as the lesbian capital of the world), six of my seven friends became lesbians, and as the years went on, their haircuts only became more asymmetrical. I don’t blame them. Seriously, what is not to love about The L Word‘s Shane’s totally sexy and bad-ass pixie cut?

Teenage angst. Just like Robin Tunney’s dramatic head shaving à la Sinead O’Connor in “Empire Records,” Jessica, a 27-year-old New Yorker, once made the cut because of raging hormones. “In high school, I was a total closet punk and used to go to shows at night, but then looked like a conservative jock type by day. I never felt like I could do all the stuff I wanted to do, so when I went to Spain, I chopped it off and dyed it white-blond.”

To build character. Martina, 26, who made a drastic cut last year, says, “I was a child beauty queen (Jean-Benet Ramsey-style pageants) and long hair was a very important asset. You always had to have long hair, because it was associated with femininity and sexiness. We used to measure our hair in 4th grade, and mine was always the longest, and it gave me status. I decided I needed to get over the issue by getting rid of it so I could figure out how to be sexy without my hair.”

Man troubles. Okay, okay, a lot of it IS man troubles. Nothing says ‘I’m newly single’ quite like a donation to Locks of Love. Our very own Jessica Wakeman recently chopped off almost a foot of hair in March to communicate positive changes in her life — and wash a man right out of her hair. “I just had a really crappy eight months or so going back and forth with this jerk who’d always told me how pretty he thought my long hair was. When I mentioned wanting to cut it, he’d plead me not to do it! After a lot deception and arguing and drama, I finally ended it with him. I wanted to cut off my hair Katie Holmes-short to say, ‘This is a new me!’ Part of me never wants to see that guy again, but part of me wishes he could see how cute I still look with the long hair gone!”

So basically, if you have short hair, you must be an expatriate lesbian teenager divorce escaping the pageant circuit.

Add Your Comment

On 07.20.09 Jen said:

I’ve done this once…chopped off all my hair because of a boy. But only once. When I was 8 I chopped off all my hair..it’s was down my back and I chopped it into a bob..that sure wasn’t for a boy! And anytime since (with the one exception) it’s been all about me, not men. So I think it definitely is something that girls often do when they have a bad breakup, but I don’t think that girls who chop off their hair are suffering from trouble with men. Another wards, imo, the breakup may cause a cut but is not the reason that women cut…if that makes any sense.

On 07.20.09 april said:

OMG, you have totally read my mind this week. I’ve had pixie short hair since I was 16 (and I *did* actually chop that because of a dumbass boy). Recently, I grew my dyed-black hair out to a cute, almost shoulder-length bob. I have no stylist in San Diego, and I went home to my previous stylist. She’s very good, but we weren’t on the same wavelength that day, and I hated my cut. So long story short, in a fit of impulse color-removing, my hair needed an emergency pixie–STAT! Not a big deal to me, but at the same time, I read Johanna Cox’s article in this month’s Elle, “Get Shorty.” Cox is pro-short hair, but she chronicles her experiences with men and her pixie. Aapparently, every male she’s ever come into contact with has declared that short hair is not feminine. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, this idea that women are less attractive without the veil of hair shrouding their features. After reading her article and talking to a friend of mine whose husband is *making* her grow out her pixie (long hair doe not suit her, however), I’ve become a bit more sensitive about the short hair prejudice in society. It’s really weird.

April, it’s a pet peeve of mine too. Far too often women are reduced to a body part, whether it be long hair, boob, legs, whatever. To be a woman is to be whole and whatever makes you happy–short hair, long hair, no hair. whatever.

Hey Jen, the only times I’ve chopped off my hair it’s been because I’ve wanted a change. I’m fairly certain that is the #1 reason women all over the world cut their hair! Although one time my mom gave me an unintentionally chin-length bob because she was trying to “even out” my long hair. Um, thanks mom.

i personally don’t think it has to do with the opposite (or same!) sex. my husband and i just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. just a few weeks before, i went from boob length to a VERY cute a-line bob. very long in front (past my collar bones) & razor was used to get it pretty short in the back. i’m in alabama, and it gets SO very hot & HUMID here & i was sick of it being back in a ponytail, so, i had it cut off. it feels SO good to be off my neck! my husband likes it too

I think it goes a whole lot deeper than just a boy problem or a break up. Cutting off your hair or cutting it down from long to short is a major transformation that completely effects the way you look. I think it is just a way to escape and feel like everything is new with your new look. Sure people may blame it on the guy, or girl (guys do this too sometimes), but I think it is to give you a new outlook and feeling from the new hairdo.

Haha this bugs me! I’ve alwaysssss had short hair, and it is so easy and fun to do. (Or am I just too lazy to do long hair everyday on myself?) Anyway, I have never had it short because of a boy, I’ve never been to France, I am not a lesbian, and I’m not a teenager! haha. No ponytail ruts for this girl!!!

SO crazy, Lauren. Maybe there are women out there that just LIKE short hair? What??? Hee.

On 07.27.09 jumbly said:

At first I was irate and all “That is the most ridiculous list of potential reasons!” and I remembered that I cut my hair boy short (um, there’s probably a term for this) when I was in Italy over a summer. shit.