El Chef Carlitos

Discovering how to spend quality time with my son.

I can’t remember how it started. But at an early age my son, Carlos started to follow me at the kitchen when I was going to do breakfast or some snack to hung up for lunch. I am neither a chef nor a handyman in the kitchen to do some fancy recipes. It was just the need for helping my wife to cope with her fibromyalgia. Sometimes she doesn’t have the energy to do any activity, so she has to rest from time to time to recover her strength. Therefore, I have stood up to help more in the house and coping with cooking was one of the first things I had to do. It was a real challenge; sounds absurd I know but I was born and raised with a family with two sisters, and a nanny that used to call me “mi Rey” (my king) and spoiling me so much, so for me just doing a tortilla was a challenge…and almost always I would get them burnt. So, I started with the basics; you know eggs, quesadillas, pancakes. My kids didn’t like it at first since my cooking wasn’t delightful and spite of that fact my son Carlos followed me to the kitchen with this lovely eyes and started asking me; Pa, do you need some help?

At first, I used to say no, as I was afraid that he might get burned. But he always insisted and finally I agreed. To my surprise he started doing great, gathering all the ingredients and tools and then started cooking. He was watching me all the time, and he just needed to be on his own. Then I realized, nothing stronger to preach with the example. He was not “just cooking,” he was enjoying the moment, smelling all the ingredients, tasting, singing and chatting with me.

Fatherhood is leadership, and leadership is influence. I became “Chef Carlitos’s” first coach and realized cooking is a beautiful experience to be with my son, having a friendly conversation and cheer him with small achievements.

I discovered through cooking, an excellent quality time activity to spend with my son by “accident.” My advice to you as a Latino Dad is this: Sit down with your kid and ask him/her about what most excites them. Then, ask yourself how can you best support the dreams and how through your actions you can mentor him/her.

Nowadays, my son is known as ‘El Chef Carlitos’; he named himself, and his cooking has improved for much better. He cooks everything, pasta, soups, chicken, cookies and so on. My wife and I encouraged him and shared more recipes. He started asking me to buy some cooking tools for kids, you know, small appliances to cook more comfortable…, cooking is really on him. Later on, his twin sister joins him, and they prepare dishes together! They say, “Welcome to the twins kitchen.”

While we are not looking for perfection as it is not a contest to be won, and therefore there is no pressure for being the best, it is for ourselves. It is okay when things go wrong and the outcome is messy, is about enjoy cooking, food and being together. That changes the dynamic of things. Finally, thanks to “El Chef Carlitos“, I appreciate the art of cooking myself.