!. Avoid them. The best way is the 'something came up at the last moment' excuse. "Yep. Ready to go. Oh wait. Something came up at the last moment. I'll catch up." Swipe candy from the office candy bowls while everyone is gone. They'll blame the cleaners.

2. Arrive late. Like right when everything is slowing down. You'll be remembered as attending and you can have you pick of the really desperate, already drunk ladies.

3. Never volunteer to arrange the Christmas Party. It will be your fault the Customer Service Rep lady got drunk and went off with that slimebag AS/400 programmer who sits in the computer room all day compiling jobs on DSP01 and slowing the system down.

4. Offer to help clean up. Free booze and food to stock pile and a chance to hit on the hawt caterers.