The group of Bigfoot “experts” managed to get their highly anticipated conference to air live on CNN, but as the headline in the Atlanta Journal Constitution put it, the paranormal pow-wow failed “to shock world.”

Of three samples in a preliminary DNA test, one came back inconclusive, one contained traces of human DNA and one had traces of opossum DNA — probably from something the creature ate, they said.

They didn’t produce a body – that’s in a hidden location, they said. They won’t say where they found the creature and saw others. They won’t let anyone but their own hand-picked scientists examine the body, and none were present on Friday.

Two questions, to try to salvage this dud of a story: One – If the remains the hunters found aren’t Bigfoot, what the heck are they? And two – what should be done with whatever is in that “hidden location?” Go nuts.