Is Porn Good For Your Relationship?

I RECENTLY READ AN ARTICLE THAT TRIED TO MAKE THE CASE THAT A COUPLE CAN BENEFIT FROM WATCHING PORN TOGETHER. With the growing acceptance of porn in the mainstream, more and more couples are turning to it to try and heat up their frigid bedrooms. But is it true? Is porn good for your relationship?

I want to give you a few solid reasons why porn cannot possibly be good for you or your relationship – ever – and how it will actually destroy your walk with God, hinder the development of real love in your relationship, and cost you dearly in light of eternity.

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Here are just a few points that will bomb the myth of “good” porn to smithereens:

When you watch porn, you are most likely watching unmarried people engage in sexual activity. In other words, you are watching people engage in what the Bible calls “sexual immorality,” or “fornication.” To watch is to celebrate, not flee, from sexual immorality. Consider 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 (NIV):

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

And, if the people you are watching are married, having allowed themselves to be photographed or filmed, they are engaging in the sin of leading people astray by letting them watch what should only be shared between two married individuals.

When you watch porn, you are lusting after the person/people you are watching – and lust is sin. Jesus said that to even look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery with her (same is true to look at anyone lustfully):

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder,’ and ‘anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’

MARRIAGE IS FOR LOVE, NOT LUST . . .

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment … You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” — Matthew 5:21-22, 27-28 (NIV)

Watching porn is a willful decision to personally engage in sexual immorality through the sin of lust. It is to fan the flame of sin when it should, instead, be snuffed out. Consider 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 (NIV):

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own . . .”We should not toy with sexual immorality. We should run from it full speed.

When you watch porn, you are going to be tempted to covet your neighbor’s spouse, which is an overt sin (See Exodus 20:17). You are going to end up doing more than just being tempted – you are going to end up coveting, and that is a serious sin.

When you watch porn, it is going to influence you in the wrong direction – to want your mate to be like the person/people you watch, and to lose their identity as the individual God created him/her to be. Unconditional (agape) love does not seek to change another person, but to accept, celebrate and nurture the person God created.When you watch porn, you will be tempted to compare what you see on your device, or television, to what you see in real life. The chances of you or someone else living up to how porn actors look, and what they do, are slim. You’re setting yourself up, and your partner, for failure.

RELATIONSHIP KILLER: Porn will create distance between you and your mate. Run from it.

Porn will devastate your understanding of what it means to be created, beautifully, in the image of God.

When you watch porn, you may be unwittingly supporting even more diabolical forms of immorality such as child pornography. Jesus has harsh words for people who abuse children:

“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea . . .” – Mathew 18:6 (NIV)

You may say, “Well, I’m not watching child porn.” True, but you may be helping it happen without realizing it, and that’s the problem. Don’t be so naïve as to think major pornography producers limit their genre to what you’re watching. When you watch, you support an industry that has a diverse audience whose appetite it seeks to feed. Watching enables them to feed the lusts of people with twisted views on sex and sexuality.

If you’ve watched porn, you may have indirectly, unwittingly supported things like child porn. Now you know, and that makes you responsible to make sure it never happens again.

When you watch porn, you are going to be tempted to do things with your body, sexually, that you should not do. I don’t think I need to go into any detail about this, but here is a verse that will help drive the point home:

“Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?” – Proverbs 6:28-29 (NIV)

In the long run, watching porn will destroy your sex life and emotional intimacy with your partner. Pornographic scenes often depict unrealistic situations and behaviors that often cannot be

PORN IS A GREAT WAY TO DEMOLISH YOUR RELATIONSHIP – AND YOUR LIFE.

duplicated. Attempts to mimic what you watch end up dashing hopes, creating guilt and emotional distance. Emotional intimacy is one of the byproducts of a godly, loving relationship – and porn will obliterate that.Watch porn, and you’re going to end up sinning, one way or another.

You are going to get addicted, and “addiction” is simply another word for “enslavement.” There are some things you cannot “unsee.” Porn provides a myriad of such opportunities that will lead you to thinking, fantasizing and fixating on things when you are not capable of turning them off. Want to put a ball and chain around your life? Watch porn.

CONCLUSION: Watching porn is sin – in multiple ways, with multiple consequences. Sin never moves us forward, but always sets us back, because sin is resistance to God, and no one who resists God ever comes out a winner. Sin always results in the loss, not gain, of God’s blessing, difficulty and devastation.

Remember these things next time someone who doesn’t have God’s interests – or yours – in mind, when they try to tell you that porn can be good for your relationship. It’s terrible for you, and you (and your partner) should run from it as if your life with Christ depends upon it. It does.

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ABOUT ME: Most of the lessons I’ve learned in life I’ve learned through failure. I typically publish my blogs Tuesday through Friday, here and on Facebook. We welcome and read comments from readers just like you because they help us (and others) think and grow. Don’t be shy. Chime in.