Regenerative medicine, of course,
means using all those baby body parts
Planned Parenthood provides. Into the sphere
of benefiting from abortive arts,
the pope has plunged. Let fetal brains and hearts
be given over to the higher goal!
On them let scientists exert their smarts!
What helps the body also helps the soul.
Francis may quibble, yes — but, on the whole,
he’s pleased as sin with progress of this kind.
Look: he has redefined the papal role!
Listen: he has remade the Catholic mind!
I won’t, therefore, permit it to affright me
that Francis likes to chew the fat with “Bite Me.”

Oh, read the latest teaching, folks, and learn:
previous popes were wrong on everything!
When today’s pope lets heartfelt words take wing,
it’s only your acceptance they should earn.
From his exalted state he can discern
God’s latest firm opinion. Worrying
about staid continuity will bring
no benefit. Your mind should never spurn
as foolishness what looks like foolishness.
Remember that the mirror’s shaded now.
You can’t see clearly, can’t deduce or guess
what’s up. Therefore, you shouldn’t have a cow
over the bullshit Francis dares profess–
though that’s an option he may well allow….

National Superhero Day: of course,
my first thought, Ben and Anna, was of you–
you in your realm of aureate resource;
you where you do what others cannot do;
you where you serve the good, without a clue
about my twisted kind, our motivations,
the inner agonies we struggle through,
our startling and unsettling transformations!
There is no day in any of the nations
that celebrates transcendent villainy–
and we would only curse such celebrations
in any case. What? Us? There’s only me,
eager now for a new scheme to begin–
except I know you heroes always win!