Daikatana

The hidden 10th plane of Hell

As much as I liked the
ideas behind Daikatana, actually playing it was a different thing altogether. It sucked. The technology is so badly mishandled that I
can't imagine anyone getting actual enjoyment from the experience. As a
whole, Daikatana was like a visit to the secret level of Hell, the 10th
plane. The one that even Dante himself was too scared to write about. It
was just that bad.

First, why give a player
a weapon that shoots an explosive charge approximately 10' in front of
him while he is in a level full of narrow tunnels. Oh yeah, so he can kill
himself while being attacked by frogs. This will happen to you if you play
Daikatana. Repeatedly.

Second, let's give the
player clues that let them know what their objectives are. Or,
alternatively, as they did in Daikatana, we can just hide imperative
items throughout a level without letting you know that you have to pick
them up to succeed. This way, you can traverse a half-a-dozen maps, get to
a big puzzle and then realize that you have to go back and find the hidden
keys. Oh yeah, baby.

Third, let's litter every
single level with tiny, fast moving buggers like frogs and rats. Creatures
that are miniscule and insignificant are worthy of the power of the
Daikatana -- a word in Japanese that obviously translates into
Rat/Frog-killing-blade. "Come and feel the power of my mystic frog-blade, Kermit!
Kiai!"

Let's me just finish
here by saying that while there is a handful of decent levels, the
creatures and linear design slowly turned each episode of the game into a
tedious endeavor to reach the end. The monsters are placed in such a way
that it all seems contrived and unconvincing. It never felt like any level
was inhabited by the beings within, instead, it was more like a series of
pre-scripted encounters.

Sidekicks, ancient Etruscan for: Feakin'
Morons

Perhaps the coolest
feature of Daikatana were the two characters who join you on your
adventure. Superfly Johnson and Mikiko Ebihara add a flavor and character
that are unique to the FPS experience - in theory. In practice, they
utterly baffle the senses and ruin what would otherwise be a, well, what
would otherwise still be a pretty weak game.

The sidekicks are
supposed to help you in combat. And they do. They jump in front of
incoming fire so that they die instead of you. Of course if a sidekick
dies, the game is over. Sweet. They are also willing to stand in a doorway as it
closes and be crushed to death so that you don't have to. How nice. Further more,
they will get in between you and an enemy during combat so that if you
miss the bad guy, you will at least hit them and not feel like an idiot
for completely missing. Of course, they die because of this and the game
is over. But at least you didn't miss. What loyalty. "I love you
guys!"

Players can tell the
sidekicks to stay put, fight, follow or pick something up. For some reason,
they frequently refuse to pick up weapons and armor. They sometimes said that
they couldn't reach items that were easy enough for me to get to. I nicknamed the sidekicks Ball and Chain by the time I got to the second
half of the game.

The best way I found to
manage the sidekicks was to order them to stay where they were, go clear
out the level, find the exit, then go back and escort them through. I am
quite sure that this was not the design plan. Problem was, you sometimes needed them to solve a puzzle.
"C'mon Ball, c'mon Chain,
lets go get squished under some doors or jump into some lava! Woo-Hoo!"

That
there is the Daikatana. Annoying, isn't it?

Sights and sounds

Graphic detail was a
mixed bag. The medieval level looked great as did the Navy Seal base.
Weather effects like rain and snow worked well and the lighting wasn't
bad either. Some textures were better than others but none really stood
out as exceptional. I'd say that the game looks good for a Quake 2
conversion but not as good as Soldier of Fortune does. And SOF took half
the time to develop.

The faces on several
enemies, and even on the sidekicks, made them look as though they needed
to take a painful dump. Excuse the vulgar assimilation, but heck, I never
saw any bathrooms as I played through the game. You never know…

The coolest creatures
were the big mecha-robots in the first level. I also liked the
green-armored bodyguards with machine guns mounted on their forearms. They
reminded me of Reptile from Mortal Combat. Come to think of it, the thugs
on the Alcatraz level looked like they stepped right out of the original
Double Dragon game, too. Hmmm…

Sound effects were fine
across the board. The recording quality of the dialog was crisp and clear.
Weapon effects were all beefy enough to make them seem visceral and deadly,
and the ambient noises enhanced the otherwise mediocre level designs. The
sound was perhaps the strongest aspect of the whole game.

The music, well, I never
really noticed the music much. It wasn't catchy or inspiring but it
wasn't obtrusive or annoying either. I didn't turn it off. I guess
that means something.