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This Just In

PORTLAND, OREGON — Police in Portland arrested a local man after he allegedly assaulted three people with a light saber at a Toys”R”Us store.

Police arrived at the scene to find the suspect leaving the store. The officers tried to handcuff the man, but he kept them at bay with the light saber.

One officer tried to use his Taser, but it malfunctioned. A second officer made contact with his Taser, but the man used the light saber to knock away one of the wires.

The officers finally wrestled the man to the ground and subdued him. He was taken to an area hospital for a mental evaluation.

Police spokesman Pete Simpson reported that the light saber was blue, the color favored by the Rebel Alliance, not red, which is associated with the Dark Side.

ST. ALBANS, VERMONT — In 2008, unbeknownst to authorities, inmates at a print shop inside a Vermont correctional facility modified a decal it printed for the doors of state police cruisers to include a small pig.

The 16-inch decal, which depicts the official crest of the state police, was one of many products printed at the facility by inmates. The decal shows a spotted cow and an evergreen tree against a background of snowy mountains.

In the modified image, one of the cow’s spots was altered into the shape of a pig.

The prank was finally noticed earlier this year. State police plan to reprint and replace the offending decals, which now appear on the doors of 30 cruisers.

TWIN FALLS, IDAHO — When a Twin Falls police officer observed three men walking in the street and told them to move to the sidewalk, he said one of the men “looked like he might run away.”

The officer asked the man for identification. The man claimed he had no ID, but gave a date of birth and the name Emiliano Velesco. A police database found no matches.

Noting that the word “Contreras” was tattooed on the man’s arm, the officer then had the dispatcher run a check using that name and the same birthday.

This time, the database identified the man as 19-year-old Dylan Edward Contreras, who had three outstanding warrants for providing false information and failure to appear. He was taken into custody.