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Monday, April 26, 2010

Most people believe that Rock Paper Scissors* is a game of luck. Those people are wrong. At least, according to the World Rock Paper Scissors Society. (I swear this is a real group. Check their website if you don't believe me). The World RPS Society offers strategies and even offers a tab that says "How to beat anyone at Rock Paper Scissors." So, if you take their word for it, this is a game of actual skill.

Regardless of your skill or lack thereof, you can enter various national championship events and win real money. In fact, last year the winner made $10,000. So, all you have to do is practice playing RPS all the time, and you should get pretty good at it. I recommend constantly asking people to play you at RPS. Use your co-workers, your boss, your spouse, your neighbors, and all of your friends, and play as often as possible. Most people enjoy playing RPS, so you will probably become more popular this way. Once you get really good you can enter the competition and win.

Another option would be to wait around outside the tournament. When the winner comes out you can challenge him/her to a round of RPS for all the prize money. If they refuse to play, or if they beat you, just steal the money.

Another lesser-known strategy is to use a gun. Gun always beats paper and scissors, and it usually beats rock. There are a few people you may encounter now and then who insist that rock beats gun, but most of these people are dead, and the rest probably won't last much longer.

*Growing up, I always thought this game was called "Paper Rock Scissors." In college I got in a big fight with a kid about whether it was "Rock, Paper..." or "Paper, Rock..." We agreed that scissors is always last, and he defeated me in the argument by invoking Rule 5**. So now I always say "Rock, Paper..." instead of "Paper Rock..." I think this is relevant enough to include in this blog.

**I don't have time to explain Rule 5 right now. If you don't know what it is, then you've probably broken it by now anyway.

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