Typety

Type type type.What to type, what to type, what to type?I know what to type!

Dear Lost,You are an awesome show. Especially the polar bears. I am very sorry that I never got to watch you last night. I'm sorry! I was thinking of you the whole time! If you could see me now, you'll see that tears are welling in my eyes from grief and sorrow. I hope you accept my apology and that things can go back to normal as they should be. Please forgive me and I'll try not to miss you next time or ever again for the rest of my life, or at least until you get canceled, which I hope you don't. But if you do, can I have Charlie?Sincerely, Moobaggins.P.S. Do you know Mad Max?***And I'm sorry, Vooki, Grangergirl for not watching it even though I begged both of you to. : 6***Oh yeah!!! : 9Now what to type? Flowers are nice. So are donuts.Nicejellydonuts. So juicy sweet to catch a fish. Take a bite off donut. See something wiggling. It is large and white. It suddenly plops to the ground and you realize it is a maggot. It's almost-transparent skin has purple underneath and is pale, even for a maggot, from being stuck there too long and is stretched tightly from not enough living space inside the donut. As it wiggles and writhes on the floor it makes a sick sticking noise and you are sure it wants death. You step on it and purple mixed with brown maggot guts squoosh out. You're sure it would've exploded sooner or later from it's very tight whitish-transparent skin stretched over too much flesh. You peer into the box of donuts. Who knows what or how many of what will be in the next one?Okay, I'm done grossing you out. I'm sorry, that was purely out of boredom. Every notice how on some computers "I"(capital "i") looks like "l" (lowercase "L") or "l" (lowercase "L") looks like "1"(one) or vice versa?Today I saw most of the last DVD of ROTK extended. The one part where Viggo and Billy were kissing was hilarious.I wonder why they make ice-packs so tasty-looking. Mmmm... ice pack... glaaaughll(gross drooling)......Wow, that's a pretty long post starting with "what to type."

"This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit."-Homer Simpson

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Woohoo! Three posts in one day!

I saw the ROTK commentary today.That counts as the 7th time I saw ROTK!Yayyyy!!!"He's got the bowling ball!""Dwarvish farts"Billy talks about sun in your eyes. Dom can't cry sexy. Lij in the beak costume. I'm gonna remember all that.It was awesome.Does Andy, like, talk to himself while making the gollum voices?It's so sad how Viggo wasn't in it. Why?Oh well, it was awesome.Doo doooo... da da da-da da daaaaa daaaaaaaa.......

"I bet Einstein turned himself into all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."-Homer Simpson

Dumb words to the wise, or Wise words to the dumb:* "For those of us who are dumber than others, "arse" is a fun word."* "The ones who lie are the ones who never have to give a shit in their lives."* "Purple birds are never late. Nor are they early. They arrive exactly when blue cougars arrive, which is not late nor early."* "Don't diss Frodo."* "Since cats use litterboxes, dogs need some form of toilet too."* "Sam is carrying Frodo up the mountain. Frodo's ass is on his left side, but after a while it's on the right. What's with that?"* "The force is with all Star Wars fangeeks."* "Idiots were once men, great kings of men."* "I wonder how many tatoos Charlie has."* "It's always darkest after daylight savings time."* "Fish are friends, not our food."* "It takes 184 licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop."* "Don't diss Frodo."* "Don't diss Merry either."* "I'm done." :) Wow, that smiley is annoying. I prefer this one. : )Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly lolly lolly POP! pop! doo doo doo doo!

Frodo Rules!!! : O

Why does eveyone keep putting down Frodo?It's so sad!!!I mean, Legolas keeps wearing the same skirt every day but no one makes fun of *him.*I know some Legolas fan will kick my ass for that.To apologize, I offer you a random Legolas fansite.And what's wrong with furry feet? I think they are cute.Squirrels have furry feet, kangaroos have furry feet, platapussies have furry feet. What's wrong with midgets then?I don't get it. Does everyone just not like Frodo, or the other hobbits as well?w/e. Chubaka rules!And that guy is COVERED in fur!So are ewoks and hamsters, but I don't hear anyone complaining about *them.*Maybe it's a non-human thing.But stil, Frodo rules!!!"Of course he does, he's a Baggins, not some pervert from Hardbottle." - Bilbo Baggins

Homer : You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.Bart : Dad, what's the point of this story?Homer : I like stories.

Stand By Me...

I saw Stand By Me today!It was awesome! Especially the Lard-ass story that Gordy told. It's about a fat guy who was made fun of by everyone so he took his revenge at a pie-eating contest. Before the contest, he swallowed a bottle of castor oil and a raw egg. Then, he threw up on a guy during the contest. Then the guy got grossed out and threw up on someone else and before long, everyone threw up on each other.Anyway, the movie's about these kids who follow the railroad tracks to try and find a dead body. It was cool how they were talking about who would win: Superman or Mighty Mouse, or "If Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck and Pluto's a dog, then what the hell is Goofy?"I just didn't like the ending very much because it just shows Gordy as an adult and he explains how one guy's smart, one guy's in jail, and one guy died in a restaurant. And there was one part that was very gross, so I'm not gonna mention it. Typical Stephen King. But overall, it was good. I cried at the end. (Go ahead, Amber.)Doo-doo DOO!Doo-doo DOO! DOO!Doo-doo Doo! Doo!Doo-doo Doo! DOO!Doo-doo Doo! Doo!Doo-doo Doo!Doo-doo DOO! DOO! Doo-doo DOO! DOO!Doo-doo dooooo doo dooo...Doo-doo doo-doo-doooo...Doo-doo doo doooooo...Doo-doo dooooo doo-doo doooooo.......Is River Phoenix like, a druggie?I saw the Two Towers for the third time today!!! Cuz that's the best movie in the world!!! (Once again, go ahead.)Doooo-dooooo... Doo doo doo-doo da doooo dooooooooo........

"Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers."-Homer Simpson

Monday, March 28, 2005

This one's deleted

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Am I getting on your nerves yet?

Am I getting on your nerves yet?Am I getting on your nerves yet?Am I getting on your nerves yet?Am I getting on your nerves yet?Am I getting on your nerves yet?Am I getting on your nerves yet?Am I getting on your nerves yet? I'm done.Hey, are any of you guys going anywhere for vacation?I know I'm not. That means I get to watch TV for a whole week every waking moment of my life! Woohoo! TV! Yeah!Poking a dead raccoon is not research. Moe-heads. The Simpsons is on.Can't feed a lamna ham. Mice don't chase cats. I'm wearing blue jeans. Still cold outside. Wonder what goat cheese looks like. Trees are cool. Unlike Conservatives. Caillou will probrably be an astronaut. My mood ring is reddish. Color of bloody gore. Twist off mouse head with bloody slimy stuff and sinews leaking out and rub it against the wall while squeezing it roughly. That mouse is in a better place now. At least, better than what you just did to him. He's dead, and there's nowhere to put the body, it stays in your hand. That vision of blood-soaked grey fur will follow you forever. The eyes looking up at you, halfway rolled up in their sockets, as if to say, "You did this, you monster." Have a good life.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

TT rules!

I saw the Two Towers today!!!It's like my favorite movie now!It was so sad!!!Big stupid Faramir.Frodo is far too pretty to be held captive.The whole time I was thinking aboutthe very secret diaries. The part about Aragorn kissing his horse made sense. But seriously, if anyone's offended by that, then you need to quit whining.I also recommend looking up the insults you have never seen before. : )I cried at the end where Frodo and Sam were talking about how they were going to be in stories, even though it wasn't that sad or anything. Wierd.Before I saw it, I didn't think they'd have a lot of stuff for the second movie because everything happens in the first two movies. But they added a lot of stuff.They should make an extended one of it.Also,check this out."Movies are the only escape from the drudgery of work and family... No offense."- Homer Simpson

Friday, March 25, 2005

ROTK- ex!

I saw ROTK extended edition today! It was awesome! I think there were some parts they never should've taken out, like the Saruman part. In it, Saruman is stabbed by Wormtoungue a bunch of times, then Wormtoungue is shot by Legolas, and Saruman falls off of Orthanc on to a big spoke on a wheel and it like goes through him. Then the wheel turns and Saruman is on the bottom; by that time he is already dead, and the palantir fall into the pool full of "horse poo." If that scenes like that had stayed in the original, people wouldn't be confused and wonder what ever happened to that one guy. They had Eowyn talking to Merry a lot and had the people making a big deal on how they shoud'nt fight and Merry kept saying "I want to help my friends." They also had Eowyn and Faramir getting toghether, when I first found out that Eowyn was with Faramir and not Aragorn, I was like, "how did that happen?" I was so confused whenever I saw the non extended one (all five times). This one is way better because it adds like, an hour of cool stuff. The commentary was wierd though, because I saw it right after seeing the movie, and it basically played the exact same thing, except the actors got to talk over the sound. I couldn't stand watching it twice in a row so I stopped somewhere in the middle. It was cool though. All I could remember were John Rhys Davies saying how elves fart and snore and dwarves don't fart and Dominic Monaghan saying that Saruman has a bowling ball and how Deagol dropped his keys. I could go on all day and it'll crash the internet. So I'll say everything compacted-ish. Frodoandsaminorccostumesmarchingwithabunchoforcs! Merryandpippindancesontablewhenpippinstopsandlooksatgandalf! Aragorn'swierddream! Gimliaccidentalymakeslegolaskillabadguy! Wierdflowersgrowingalloverstatue'shead! Wheniseaster?! Legolasandgimli'sdrinkingcontest! Merryandeowynarebuddies! Layoffhimhe'smine! Frodoisminetoo! Chubacaisnice! Smeagollied! What'swiththemoth?! Whatisup?Also, the part where Sam fights Shelob is like five minutes longer. It was awesome because you could see all that pink stuff on the spider's body. God, I've written like, two pages long! Fangeeks Rule!"The force is with you, young skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet."

"Are you sure this is the Sci-Fi Convention? It's full of nerds!"-Homer Simpson

Springbreakstartstodayimsoexcited!

...----------......../..O...O...\.............................\____/..........\_______/.......Deus Ex Machina!!!A girl died in 1933 by a homicide murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

Detroit Science Center was fun. I thought the IMAX movie, Volcanoes of the Deep, was awesome. The end was kinda wierd, when the guy was talking about his wife and how he's married to the little paramecium thing and how his wife didn't want him to find the paramecium thing. But it was really cool when they showed all the shrimp swarming everywhere and the crabs and stuff. I kinda freaked out when they said time doesn't exist there because it's just really wierd. Chubaka should've been in that movie. That would've been awesome. Grrrrrrllllrrrr!!! Che-wie! Che-wie! Che-wie! I remember Vooky and I calling stuff during the movie. You might've had the pretty pearly octopus, but I got the Dumbo octopus! And I called all those crabs. I like yellow jellybeans. We have 53 more days of school!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!Yayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyay!!!!!!!!!"And Eric chickens out again. Quack quack quack!" -Fez***"Oh stop it! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I'm tired of hearing about that little fruit!" - Red***Let me tell you something. If the U.S. Government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say "thank you!" -Red

"Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV."- Homer Simpson

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Hearts & Minds

Im watching lost!:9: 9Is Boone jealous of Sayid or is Shannon his sister? Boone's looking at Sayid all evil. Okay, its his sister. Cool.Oooh, a big chunk of something metal in the ground!Hurley has "digestive problems." ewww. He eats sea urchins. Hurley's picking leaves. Jack: "Dude, youre not eating those, are you?" Hurley: "These aren't for eating. 'Scuse me." : 6Kate and Sun have a passion fruit garden. Cuuuuute. They are planting pieces of blue rabbit poop."Meegolito, bonagacho." - Something wierd Locke just said. Why is he talking about Michelangelo?Boone's flashback: Shannon is such a slut. Ohhh, she's so mean to Boone.The Korean guy (Jin) and Hurley are catching fish. The Korean guy just laughed and muttered something mean. "You just said something mean, didn't you?"Locke just hit Boone in the back. Boone passed out. How did that happen? Everyone so mean to Boone. It's not like he has mental problems, does he? Does he? Locke tied Boone up. Boone must've said something. Locke just threw a knife at him. "You'll be able to free yourself once you have the proper motivation."Boones flashback: He's reporting a crime. Was that Sawyer being arrested in the backround? Shannon is his stepsister. He pays people to get away from his sister? Talking to Shannon's boyfriend: "I'm gonna give you 20,000 U.S. dollars." What's up with that?Kate found out that Sun speaks english. Hurley: "Dammit!" "Keep your damn fish!""I stepped on a friggin urchin!" He's shouting at the Korean guy. "Your gonna have to pee on my foot! It's gonna stop the venom! I saw it on TV once! Just pee on it! PEE! Pee on it!"Locke was a Weebelo. Shannon is in trouble. Boone is tied up & is the only one who can hear her. Yay! he got the knife. There's the island beast. He found Shannon tied to a tree and is now cutting her free. Now they're crouched inside a tree-thingy with the Thing roaring outside. Too bad they don't show you what it is. Probrably what Dom said, "an elephant with a whole bunch of cats attached to it." I'll take his word for it.Sayid's compass is screwed up. "Locke gave it to me this afternoon."Boone and Shannon are still in the tree. Boone's flashback: Shannon won't leave her boyfriend. Boone is mad. "You've done this before, you little bitch." He's so cute when he's mad.Locke and Jack are smiling. "No, no Boone." Thats so mean.Hurley: "Is it true that you speak english? Cuz theres a rumor that you do... Your wife's hot." Hurley's now throwing up.It's Charlie! Yay! Two weeks since heroin withdrawal. "No offense man, but if there was one person I'd put my absolute faith into, it'd be John Locke."Jack put something into Kate's hand. Kate: "Gross little bluish blackish things?" Jack: "No, these are slimy little bluish yellow things." Kate: "Guava seeds." It looks like rabbit poop.There's the monster again. It got Shannon. It just kinda lifted her off the ground.Flashback: Boone has an ice-pack. Awwww... who did this? Shannon's saying Boone's in love with her. Oh eww, they're related! "You've always been a self centered little bitch but now youre dillusional!"Boone looking for Shannon, finds river. River filled with blood. Shannon dead and torn up on rocks. Boone crying.Boone attempted to stab Locke. "You killed her! That thing, you killed my sister! You drugged her! She died in my arms!" "Why is there no blood on you?" (Boone's surprised, turns around, sees Shannon)"How did you feel when you saw her die?" "I-I felt relief. I felt relieved." "Come with me." They're going into darkness. The end. They only showed Charlie once!!! : (All new Lost next week. Sawyer gets a bad headache, Locke falls down, saying someone's trying to take something, Boone's on a plane yelling "mayday" into one of those recievers. This is like my longest post.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Man marta, envinyatar? (what's up, doc?)

^o^Today my friend Olivia bought a brownie and it wasn't split down the middle! It's like one of those rectangle ones with the big colorful sprinkles and the line dug down the middle so you can split it in half. Anyway, it didn't have a line! What is with that? The yellow sprinkles look a lot like tiny lemons. ( I told you I'd be posting this.) I saw 'The Crossing', which is a movie about the Revolutionary war, with George Washington, a fat guy (Orlando! sorry, inside thing), and a bunch of other people. It was kinda boring, a big bad ripoff of Lord of the Rings. It had something a lot like Helms Deep, and canoes and short people with curly hair and ponies and old people serving tea and everything. But they DID say "damn" and "bastard" a lot. Also, GW did look a bit like Sam. : ) I auditioned for Frost Honor Orchestra and even though I did better than I thought I would, I probrably didn't make it. I played Stand By Me, then I sightread Lord of the Rings. I messed up so bad. All I remember is that the beginning was the music they played when they first showed Gandalf going into the Shire (In Dreams) and it ended with the music from the end of the Fellowship when Aragorn says, "We travel light. Let's hunt some orc" (I think it's called 'Rohan'). I've pretty much memorized the lines from FOTR, the important ones anyway, after seeing it 11 times. I can't wait to see The Two Towers. I heard it's not as good as FOTR or ROTK and pretty much everyone's favorite is one of the two, but I still have to watch it just the same. ROTK didn't really make much sense before I saw it a couple more times, asked my LOTR-obsessed friend, then read the TT book. Check this out:hogzilla^o^! Snitchefy!

(House is on fire) "When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn, something-something then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe... D'oh!"-Homer Simpson

Monday, March 21, 2005

Another Quiz...

1. Can you lick your elbow?a. No one can lick their elbow.b. Can YOU lick your elbow?!

2. Are you dumb?a. No.b. Yes.

3. You go to England and get arrested by the queen. What do you yell as you are dragged out of the court?a. J. K. Rowling will always be richer than you!b. "America rules! Our Beatles are way better than your precious Rolling Stones!"

4. Have you been toStupid.com?a. No/Yes but only once.b. YES! AND I'M PROUD OF IT!

5. Roadkill...a. There was a dead skunk on Thursday on Stark Road south of Plymouth.b. Wes gots' us sum suppers tonight, maw!

6. What is 4 plus 5?a. 9b. (fill blank)_______

7. Who was the first president?a. George Washingtonb. Henrietta R. HippoCount up the number of A's you have.***8As...You can't count. Get out!7As...Not dumb at all. Actually a wise-ass. We all hate you. Get out!6As...Pretty smart, but not as smart as Wise Ass up there. ^5As...You are average. You suck just the same.4As...You pass as an idiot. Go you!3As...You rock. Watch Lost on Wednesdays 8:00 on channel 7(ABC).2As...Eggs and coffee.1A.....This describes you perfectly...0As...I don't think you can read. Meow Meow Meow MeowMeow Meow Meow MeowMeow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding "you're making a scene"."-Homer Simpson

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Whats going on

I am watching Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang (1999). It's so creepy. It's about a kid who goes to this jail on Slimers Island and it's run by two wierd, strict adults who makes the kids work. There's also a slime monster. This kid was like "Don't slime me!" And the monster was chasing him and all of a sudden it blew greenish brown slime all over him and he turned into a pile of slime, and then turned into a big ball that looked like a cocoon."At one 'o' clock, not two, not two plus two, Jacob Two Two will be fed to the Hungry Crocodile." - The guy in the maskNext Saturday on UPN at 12:00 am., they're gonna show The Terminator. I've never seen it before but I heard good stuff about it. : )Today I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the 11nth time. Has anyone else noticed that Arwen changes clothes between scenes where she first meets Frodo? When she's getting off the horse, she's wearing a white gown with big sleeves. When she kneels down, she's wearing a gray shirt with cuffs. Maybe it's an elf thing. And what's with the moth? Maybe they explain it in the Two Towers or something.Yesterday, I found a blog that I thought was Elijah Wood's. Turns out, it wasn't. Nyahh!!! : 6If anyone happens to be curious, it's at:http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/dommeh/I made up a story today. It's got a moral to it.'Once upon a time, a man saw a hobo on a street. The hobo told him that if he bought him the best suit he could find, then he'll be his best friend. The man said yes and bought a suit that was $9999999999999 and gave it to the hobo. The hobo then realized that he was allergic to suits and gave it back. He was his best friend anyway. And because the man did the best he could for a hobo, he ended up with a best friend and a really expensive suit. The end.'Isn't it wonderful? : 9

Friday, March 18, 2005

Yabadadoo!

"Ah-da-da-da-da-da-da-Dah!""Hah!""Da!""Hah!"I just heard Pandemoniumfromamerica today.That thing is frikkin awesome!I keep playing it over and over again."Abadaboo!""Ooh, I sip on a chi? I sip on a chai!"They sound so... squeaky!You can't tell whether Elijah or Dom is talking."OooOoooOoooOooohhhh...""AaaAaaAaaAaahhhhhhhh......""OooOooOooOooohhhhhhh......."Allright, I'm done.

"Look at that land, with their laws and ethics... they'll never know the joy of a monkey life."-Homer Simpson

Thursday, March 17, 2005

foochie

Foo-chie! Foo-chie! Foo-chie!Hey, It's St. Patricks Day! Whee!Here's my new haiku: (If you can't tell, I'm making it up on the spot.)

Seashells are nice.There's one right there.Why is it there?Very strange.Today's St. Patrick's day.Cool.Magicalmagicalvurvur.Finefinefinefinefinefine.Kitties are nice.Meow Meow Meow Meow.That woman's voice is squeaky.Stop talking, Karen.

Isn't it great?Shut up, just shut up!I think leprechauns are actually pixies who are just uglier but richer. Wait, how ugly are pixies? I remember those cornish (or whatever) pixies from Harry Potter. Oh well. Where do they get all that gold? I bet it's not real gold - just golden Hersheys and Ferrero Rocher wrappers.mmmmm.... wrappers....(gross drooling) glauughhhhh....Oh yeah, OrkDorks rule! Today we got kinda sugarhigh at our pizza party. ORCHESTRA!!!LovePeaceForce be with you"It's been St. Patrick's day for hours and I'm still not drunk yet."-Homer Simpson

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Whatever the case may be

I am watching Lost right now.It's all creepy. "Ow! Son of a Bitch!" - (Kate hits Sawyer in the knee)Oooh...waterfall. Kate's swimming with Saywer. I always thought she was with Jack. AAAHHH!!! Dead people!!! Under water! How do they swim with their eyes open like that?Eeeww.. Sawyer touched a dead guy. Kate found a case. Hows she know it's her case? Sawyer looks like Boromir all of a sudden. Why's Boromir's hair always greasy?Big storm. V. wavy. Flush!!!It's Charlie!: 9And Boone. Shannon is so mean."I'm trying to contribute something. Your'e... You're useless." -BooneKate's last name is Ryan? She's from Mexico? She's a photogra... Oooh... a robbery scene.Sawyer's so mean to Kate."Everyone will suffer!" - That movie looks cool.Shannon is such a skank. I don't see why Sayid likes her. Apparently, the French woman's name is Russo. "Son of a bitch!" - Sawyer trying to smash open caseThat woman is so mean to Charlie. He doesn't have to help out if he doesnt want to! Silly lady."Son of a bitch! Unbelievable!" - Sawyer trying to get case open by throwing case from tree. Sawyer's so mean to Kate. Hogging the case.Bad Kate. "Don't know how to use a gun? That's classic." - Her bankrobber boyfriendKate's with Jack now. "Jack, we have a problem.""Do we have a problem or do you have a problem?"Now she's gonna dig up a dead guy just to get the key to the case. Ew, I just saw a carcass. Why are they coughing so much? Kate has they key in her hand. Jack's mad at her. Ha ha ha!Boone: This is a mistake." Shannon: "Yeah, havent you heard? I'm completely useless!" Ha ha! Stupid Shannon!Jack is threatening to take Sawyer medication away if he doesn't give him the case. "That's what it's gonna take to pop this bitch." -SawyerKate's bankrobber boyfriend ratted her out. Her real name is Maggie? Holy Crap, she just shot all those people. Including her boyfriend. Okay, now her name isn't Maggie.Opening the case...They dug it up just for a model airplane? "It belonged to the man I loved! It belonged to the man I killed!" - KateCharlie's crying...awwwShannon's talking about Finding Nemo. I didn't know that movie was French. Now she's singing the song that's supposed to be at the end. Next Wednesday is Hearts and Minds. Did Locke just stab Boone in the head? Yay! The monster's back!Allright, I'm done.

Homer : "Hey Marge, look at me, I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from happy land who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane ... In case you didn't realize, I was being sarcastic."Marge : "Well duh."

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Bert, Ernie, Tinky-Winky

Whenever people hear the name "Tinky Winky", they usually think of the gay guy on that baby show who carries a purse. Honestly, how can people think that about an innocent PBS character?Everyone is always saying how Bert and Ernie are gay. HOW? People'd have to be pretty bored and heartless to consider old childhood friends GAY. They should keep in mind that Sesame Street is a kids show and if seeing muppets bore them, they should change the channel, not jab and make fun of them. They are both little yellow and orange muppets who just happen to be friends and roommates. I mean, they don't even share the same bed. Like the Teletubbies. What's wrong with Tinky Winky having a purse? It's to show little boys that all genders are equal. I mean, it would way worse if Tinky found purses repulsive and started hitting La La and Po because they're girls. And plus, whenever they dance, Tinky Winky always dances with Po. Barney's a purple dinosaur. He hugs his friends. He also likes to laugh and sing. So what? Peppermint Patty and Marcie aren't gay either - how can they think that? What did they ever do that was so wrong? Seriously, why do they think it's so funny that a nice, friendly character is gay? If you ran into a gay person on the street, would you act the same way? Hey, that rhymes.TODAY I FOUND OUT THAT THE CHEESE GUY ON THAT 70'S SHOW IS FRANCIS ON MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE! Yeah! Put da lime in da coconut and drink em both up....."Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr.X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson.' "

Monday, March 14, 2005

Aowh aowh aowh... (French laugh)

Anyone know any foreign swears?I know that "Souka" is Russian for either Beeeoch or Ass."Udon" is LOTR elvish (I don't really know which elvish) for hell, but I don't know how to say "go to" yet.It would be so cool to speak fluent elvish.It would also be cool to speak fluent Chewbacca.Grrrrrllwwww...He he he... he talks!Did Chewy, like, die? Cuz that would be so sad. I read it somewhere on wikipedia.That's a nice place. http://wikipedia.comSo nice...WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Fun letters.I'm sorry, I'll go slam the oven doors on my ears again.Stupid Malfoy...Thinks he's so great with that HOUSE ELF and BROOMSTICK and PURPLE.I like purple. Everything sshould be purple.Did you know ELOHA spelled backwards is A HOLE?Figured it out myself.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Whining...

I feel like whining right now...Caution: The following post is not for those with weak stomachses, lost precioussses, and depressed mindses. Parental aggression strongly advised. That said, I will post/whine away without mercy.Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh,......................................................................Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...........Why can't I have a car?Why can't I own a rat carcass?Why can't it be Spring?Or at least snow?Why can't I eat ice-packs?AAAAAAAAaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ooh, the Simpsons is on right now! Whining stopped.Homer: "Par-ty! Par-ty! Par-ty!"Marge: "Homer, these are the people you work with. Show some restraint."Homer: "Re-straint! Re-straint! Re-straint!"***Homer: "Wow, a wooden plane. It's about time trees were good for something... instead of standing there like JERKS!"***Mr. Burns just said "Fly you fool!" All right!!! I love it when old people say that.***Homer: "I'll get another job. One that pays well. Does that show with Friends need another friend?"***Dr. Hibbert: "Side affects include dizziness and shortness of marriage."***There's some drugged guy singing with something that sounds like Ghostbusters music.***Apu: "Homer... My favorite customer. Please paw through my Playdudes and tell me to go back to whatever the hell country I am from."***Flanders: Why dont you talk to Shiva...Apu: Why don't you shut up?***They're in Canada smuggling drugs now. Everything is so Diddly...Apu: "Lalalalala, HA! HA! Lalalalala, HA! HA!, Lalalalala, HA! HA!***Jail announcer guy: "I am a big fat french idiot."French translator: "Sweezime gron, gron... hey!"***Okay, I'm done.Check this out:http://beta.communities.msn.com.mx/LothlorienOfTheElves/areyouobsessed1.msnwI'm hoping the link actually works.Peace.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Oh no! The Evil Talking Monkey With The Cymbals!

I am scared out of my guts right now.This morning, I watched Ski School, which is just like Animal House. But instead of a food fight, they had a snowball fight in the cafeteria, instead of chanting "Toga Toga Toga" before a party, they chanted "John-ny John-ny John-ny" and they are less lazy. I also noticed that in both movies, the people get expelled for their behavior. Anyway, after that movie was over, I saw The Rich Man's Wife while reading Stephen King. I always multi-task.So anyway, I'm reading a story about how this toy monkey is following a guy around and killing people while I'm seeing this man on TV pop up behind a rich guy, drag him out, and shoot him, then going to Halle Berry's house and chasing her with a gun.And just this morning I finished another Stephen King story called The Mist. It's about a guy who gets trapped with his son and 80 other people and a loony woman in a supermarket by a strange mist, and in the mist, there are hundreds of deadly gross creatures, like white tentacles with suction cups that grab on to people and suck blood out of people alive, and giant spiders that string thread around people and it tightens and squeezes life out of you. Sure, it might sound like something crazy that someone made up that sounds more gross than scary, but you really have to read it yourself. They mentioned ENTS! I'm so happy... I'm afraid to move now. I keep looking out my window to see if the Mist is coming... I still remember being scared out of my wits reading Harry Potter a few years ago. The Monkey is also cool... That boy has an autographed photo from Billy Boyd! So much Lord of the Rings...The book is called Skeleton Crew and it's so big, it's like a cube. I'm about 1/3 done. Stephen King is awesome! Is he, like, still alive? He sure is a potty mouth. He made a third-grade boy call his teacher an "Old b-i-t-c-h" "because he decided last year God didn't say it was a sin if you spelled." lol!I can't wait to see Groundhog Day on CBC today!!!!Also - Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang (1999), next Saturday, CBC 9 Canada, 7:00 pm. I wouldn't be posting this if it didn't sound cool.That said, who's seen the episode of The Simpsons where Homer choreographs the Superbowl?"I'm number one! I beat my son!Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!Boom shakalakalaka! Uh! Uh!In yo' face! Boom! Chah! K-k-ka chow bah!My son flips frogs like a girl, yeah!A-boo! A-bah! A- who's yo' daddy, A- booba dooba dooba! B-bow! B-doo! (Holy crap, this lion is chewing a man up in this movie, To Walk With Lions, sorry.)A-jyoo, a- junka, a- coca, a lumanuma, yeah!*I'm happy!*(later)L is for loser, which describes you, sir!Don't try to stop me, just enjoy the muser!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Life...

I keep thinking about this and it's bothering so I have to post this.How do you know you like, exist?It's like, how can you tell your'e not being forced to relive your life from Heaven or Hell with no recollection of your death?And if someone can stop time, you will never know. A whole day could've passed by right...NOW! and you will never know because you were frozen with time. Maybe the reason you keep losing your keys is because whoever just stopped time could've taken them when time stopped. Maybe the person who can stop time is closer than you think, and when you ask them about it, they'll just laugh it off. Maybe it's someone with mind-controlling powers and can add stuff in your mind, like, when everything froze, they baked a ring of dough with a hole in the middle, glazed it, and called it a donut. Then, they, like, put false memories in your mind about you seeing donuts before and when time starts again, your'e just like, "Hey, I want that donut!"How do you know all those memories you have were'nt just put in your head a second ago and you are forced to believe them?Someone out there is mocking us, and they can keep this going for as long as they want and no one will ever know the truth before they die. That's really sad.You can tell I'm reading too much Steven King. I've just started "The Mist."

I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying ... but not when I am telling the truth.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

LOST!!!

Hey Crystal, since you keep asking what Lost is about, I'm gonna try to explain it to you.First of all, they were all on a trip to Los Angeles when the plane crashes and they land on an island. There are like, 40 or 50 survivors, but only (only?!) 13 main characters. It's kind of confusing at first because it's hard to remember which names go with who, but you'll get it. Anyway, on the island, there's a polar bear living there for some reason, and an island beast that they never show. You just see the huge shadow and hear the roaring. There were also people living there before the plane crash, but apparently, the French chick (not a plane crash survivor) killed them all. They're trying to build a ship or something to get them off the island. Every episode, they pick a person and show various flashbacks from the person's life and they somehow tie in with what's going on on the island.There's so many characters, so I'll just describe a few. Kate is the woman with copperish-red hair who once robbed a bank, Jack is the guy with a shaved head who used to be a doctor, Sawyer is the guy with the long blond hair who is mean to people, Charlie is the guy who looks like Merry and is by far the best, and Locke is the old bald guy who knows a lot about the island beast. (i'm not sure if he was on the plane or not.) I'm thinking they're the most important characters.It's such a cool show...I think it's scary. I hope u keep watching it!

Seltz!!!

I am watching Seinfeld. Everyone keeps going "yadda yadda yadda." There's a midget and also a guy who looks a lot like Hal from Malcolm in the Middle. He keeps making jokes and saying it's okay because he's Jewish."Are you offended because you're Jewish?"Jerry: "I'm offended because I'm a comedian."Anyway, this post is dedicated to Mr. Seltz.He was cool for someone who got busted for possession.He made all these crazy rules like no mini skirts, no flip-flops, no dying hair a wierd color, no hats, no shorts that go above your pinky, no backpacks in class (I'm not sure if he was the one who made that rule though.)But still, the day he left, no one knew exactly what happened to him but every one knew something was wrong. All the 6th hour teachers waited until the end of the day to tell us that Mr. Seltz was going to jail because he secretly took Ritalin from the students' medicine cabinet at school and came up positive for a drug test. Some of the teachers were crying.He was so smiley all the time, but who knew THAT was why? I never would've suspected it though.Overall, he was cool. Remember the time he came to our table (the nameless table) during lunch one day and said that since our table doesn't have a name, he's naming it Table 'A' or '1A' or whatever?Anyway, the new guy looks just like him from the behind. He looks meaner though. He's yelling every time I see him. He once screamed his head off at a girl who didn't wear a coat.I actually miss Seltz.Here are some articles I found on the case. I'm praying these links work.http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22Michael+Seltz%22+ritalin&btnG=Google+Searchhttp://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050211/NEWS01/502110331/1002/ARCHIVEShttp://www.freep.com/news/locway/ritalin30e_20041230.htmhttp://www.pahealthsystems.com/message315953.htmlhttp://www.detnews.com/2005/schools/0502/11/D01-87127.htmFor some reason the links that say "page not found" have two "http"s in the web address. Simply delete one of them.

"Marge, I just realized I am the "ow" in the word "wow." And if you tell anyone..."-Homer Simpson

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Coolest cowboys have daddy issues

I am watching LOST!!!Sawyer is talking to the kid, Walt. Sawyer's so cool. Like Aragorn.Right now, they're trying to find down Charlie, who's like, Merry.Boone's got a bright red ribbon. He's so cute. Like Pippin. Doesnt really look like him though.Charlie's cuter. He looks like a monkey. Go Dom!I had to hold myself back from buying the TV guide with him on the cover.I woul've only gotten it for just the cover photo so it would be a big waste of paper.I wish I had a box company.Ooooh, Jack's signing something. What's with the father thing?This show is awesome!Commercial break. I can't wait to see the Revenge of the Cith (s/p?) trailer on Fox tomorrow.Sawyer is so mean sometimes. Oooh, they're talking about the mysterious French woman... eww, why would she kill all those people?Now Hurley's playing a game with Walt. Hurley lucky number is 17.Not that it's actually lucky. He owes Walt $20,000.Boones shirt says something chinese on it... I think it says "84." How'd Locke just make it rain all of a sudden?Why'd Charlie write "LATE" over his fingers? Very typical of Dom... Trees!Jack just fell. Now he's fighting with Ethan, the guy who kidnapped Charlie."If you do not stop following me, I will kill one of them. Do you understand?"Eeew, Charlies hanging from a tree. Ooh, Jack's doing CPR... I wish I were Jack right now.Now jack is pounding on him, yelling "Come on, Charlie, come on!" Kate's crying. Jack, don't listen to Kate, keep going!God, You're gonna smash him if you keep pounding on him.WHOA! That was wierd, Charlie choked back to life all of a sudden. Yay!Commercial. Okay, John Stamos is hugging a dog named Bobo who eats his own poop....Charlies not moving...Hes just staring at the fire."I didnt see anything..hear anything...I don't remember...anything..."Locke and Boone are lost. Boone found something wierd and metal...The end!They're showing another rerun next week, Whatever the Case May Be, the one where Kate finds a metal case with her secret stash inside and evryone's after it.My god, I love this show! Especially the polar bears!Force be with you!

"It's those TV networks, Marge, they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!" -Homer Simpson

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!

Can't wait to see Lost tomorrow!Also can't wait - half day of school tomorrow!YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: ): ): )I think I'll do that annoying thing again where I post while watching TV.Speaking of TV, does anyone, ANYONE watch Chilly Beach?Canadians?It's on the Canadian channel CBC. It's funny, but dumb at the same time.Cant wait!Maybe if I freeze myself, it'll pass the time quicker.Get like one of those things Fry went into on Futurama.Another cartoon...That show was cool, I can't believe they canceled it.

Arf Arf arf

It's "arf arf arf," not "woof woof woof!"Actually, it's more like "arw arw arw.""Arw arw arw" could also be a seal.And why do people say it's "bark bark bark or "bow wow wow?"If dogs could say that, then they could say anything.That would be so cool.Like "Is it noon yet, Misses Pennywheather? I really would enjoy a cup of tea."I'd totally go out and buy that dog!A small one though, I'm scared of big dogs.I know that's stupid, but I've had bad experiences, that's all.

"Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog. "-Homer Simpson

Monday, March 07, 2005

Frodo and Sam are NOT gay!!!

I came across a bunch of gay pictures of Frodo and Sam, and personally, I can't stand the people who say they're gay. Those people have nothing better do, really. And those annoying comments are leading to big internet rumors of Elijah, Sean, Billy, and Dom being gay. First of all they are not gay, they're just really good friends. Everyone, especially people who have read the books should know that. I mean, if your best friend was going on a trip to a volcano and some really scary old guy forced you to follow him/her, would you? Second of all, Sam is married. Why would he marry Rosie if he were gay? Of course, they do have their awkward moments. Like on that rock near the end of ROTK, when Sam was crying because he thought he would never see Rosie again, and Frodo just said "I'm glad you're with me." That's probrably the strangest thing they ever did, and it wasn't even that strange. Of course, I've never seen the Two Towers, so I don't know for sure. Is anyone even reading this, because it is pretty long. I could go on and on and on and on... Heck, I could tell my life story right now. Once upon a time, frogs are cool. Not all mushrooms are toadstools. Pointy hats are sweet. I want one. The end.Here are a few evil, mutated, twisted, sick-sick-sick photos I found on Google:http://http://www.randomperspective.com/page.asp?2image1http://www.brendanloy.com/blog/archives/012670.html

"You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order!You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"-Homer Simpson

Sunday, March 06, 2005

I can't wait until Revenge of the Cith comes out.What IS the "Cith?"I also can't wait till Life on a Stick comes out.It really sounds cool.Next Tuesday, they're showing All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues on Lost.It's supposed to be a rerun but I haven't seen it. Not yet.Colors are nice.Have you ever wondered how they get the SlimJims in their wrappers?I bet they inject it into the wrappers. That would be so cool!Also, how do people make bridges?Do they like throw a rope across the river and just kinda build onto the rope?Or do they like throw rocks into the river until there's a path and build on it?That's really strange.Our world is so WIERD sometimes!I wonder how the dinosaurs died.(don't worry, I'm not ON anything. This is how I just think)(okay, maybe you should worry.)

"Wait wait wait. So in August it's hot? And in Summer it's cold? It's Opposite Land! Where cats have dogs and crooks chase cops!"-Homer Simpson

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Braveheart...

I am watching Braveheart on CBC right now.That is, I'm only seeing the last half of it.There appears to be some kind of war going on.The blue-faced man told this one guy to "go back and stop at every door you see to beg for forgiveness for theft, murder and rape." (or something)Go Scots!Billy Boyd is awesome!("We've had one, yes, what about second breakfast? Elevensies? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?...")*Back to the movie*Shower of arrowsSo many horses...Everyone fighting...AAHH!!!Stop the madness!I bet I would love this movie if I had seen the beginning.It really sounds cool.I also cant wait to see Ski School next week on UPN and Groundhog Day on CBC. They both sound really cool."I'm tired of running away. Did Braveheart run away? Did Payback run away?"-Homer Simpson

Friday, March 04, 2005

Are you an idiot?

Take this quick test to see if your an idiot. And this is not interactive so you'll need a pencil and paper. Fingers, if you can count. I'm especially proud of it (I made it myself)Are You An Idiot?1. How big is your head?a. 46 droplets.b. About five inches across.2. What happens if you light a match during a gas leak?a. All right! Gas match after school! Where's the cheese?b. Everything goes all KABLAMMY! and you die.3. Which job would you rather have?a. Yellowb. Nuclear physicist technician (if there is such thing)4. How long would it take for you to memorize every question on this test?a. Achoo!b. About an hour.5. 1 hydrogen and 2 oxygen is...a. A what and a what-what?b. HO2Count up your A's!0 As: Stupid brainy-man! You make people look bad!1 A: Not as smart as Stupid Brainy-man up there, but still... Yo mama!2 As: Fairly dumb. You suck.3 As: Idiot, but you try hard!4 As: Stupider than you lookify.5 As: bwahaha galoosheerphoobogogogo... ha ha ha...Youre so dumb you can't even read this!I am stupider than I lookify.Force be with you... cows rule!

Homer : That tree’s been in the town of Springfield since the days of our forefathers. Give it back, or we’ll bust in there and take it!Tow truck man : Bust in here and take it? You must be stupider than you look.Homer : Stupider like a fox!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Chubaka

Chuwie.You know, the furry dude from Star Wars.Thats an awesome trilogy. Or "hex-ogy," whatever. I've only seen Return of the Jedi, though. : (Why can't that guy talk though? Or can he talk but just not clearly?Maybe it's better to just not know what he's saying.Is he like some kind of animal? Like a wookiee?God, I'm bored.Wow, it's like these lines get longer then shorter!Ha ha, I'm so smart!From now on I'm ending every post with a Homer Simpson quote.Force be with you."This looks suspicious... but delicious!"-Homer Simpson.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Still watching lost...

I know, I'm such a idiot.Its only been 4 minutes since my last post and I noticed it was getting lonely.heh heh heh.Hurley found the french chick.Wow, Charlie, language.Whats with the polar bear? This show is so cool!You know what else is cool?Chewy. That fuzzy guy from Star Wars!And gollum. preciouusss....Cows rule!

just watching lost...

4! 8! 15! 16! 23! 46!Hurley, you gotta get away from those numbers!Hurley is so cool for a fat guy. Oooh, hes walking a bridge, crap, its gonna snap...Okay, Charlies turn... you can do it...NO! Oh, wow, he just jumped across. Okay... Go Charlie!Merry rules!God, what is WITH those numbers? wow, there gonna follow him to his death.Artificial legs are so cool. HOLY CRAP SOMETHING JUST EXPLODED!...on TV.Cows rule!