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Kerry

ABOUT KERRY: Kerry is one of the key people who really makes lunch-time basketball happen. As a player, he shows up to play like Old Faithful, and in addition, he is one of the game’s best recruiters. He has all the e-mail addresses and phone numbers for the league. If you are late to work, Kerry will typically inquire as to your whereabouts before your boss does. The night before a game, he will email the lunch-time basketball distribution list with a reminder to bring their gear (shoes and shorts) from home the next day. When lunch-time comes, he will make the rounds of the office, in case a player is still working and needs to be reminded of their commitment.

Kerry prefers to play on the undermanned team when there is an uneven number of players. With fewer teammates, he has more chances to shoot the ball, and Kerry enjoys a high-volume-shooter style, reminiscent of Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant or Allen Iverson. He typically makes about 15%17% 13% of his shots, but he can hold that percentage consistent from just about anywhere on the court. It’s pretty normal to see Kerry attempt an NBA-range three-point hook shot, running away from the basket. Defenses have been known to “forget” to cover Kerry sometimes. This backfired one year in June, when things clicked for Kerry. He started shooting about 75%. It was amazing. Nobody ever adjusted by guarding him properly, and so Kerry teams were virtually unbeatable for a while.

WHO CAME UP WITH ALL THOSE NAMES: Gary.

NATURAL RIVAL: Gary.

FAVORITE SHOT: Hook shot.

DEFENSIVE SPECIALTY: Hooking.

FG ATTEMPTS: A lot of them.

DID YOU KNOW? Kerry got a shiner, while playing Lunchsketball, and resultantly had his wedding vow ceremony postponed until cosmetically presentable.

Kerry, along with Gary, makes teams. On those days when neither Kerry or Gary play, long delays often ensue because the remaining players are lost, and unable to figure out what the teams should be. When Kerry is negotiating with Gary, he will usually try to get George on his team. This works out well because George tries to defend all the extra players (since Kerry likes to be on the short-handed team), and then becomes so exhausted from defense, that he has to pass the ball to Kerry on offense. Even more shots for Kerry, then.

His signature move defensively is to swing his arm in a hooking motion toward opponents as they pass him by. This is called “the hook”. The “Capt. Hook” series of nicknames really makes sense when this habit is combined with his general proclivity to “hook shots”, as mentioned earlier.