Broadcasters fumble for new words

September 17, 2003|By John Walters. John Walters is a RedEye special contributor.

On Tuesday in New York, ESPN held tryouts for a one-year position as a "SportsCenter" anchor, which is a shame when you consider that in effect that person will be replacing Rich Eisen, but that's another story.

Those unlucky enough to have judged the event (a similar casting call comes to Chicago on Oct. 4) noticed, perhaps more vividly than they ever had before, that sports has its own vernacular.

Sure, there are words and phrases that are an inherent part of the games, terms that make up the essential language of the sport. I refer to words such as inning, rebound, dunk, fumble, blitz (which actually means "lightning" in German), bunker, bogey and, for college fans, probation.

Beyond those essential terms exists an entire lexicon that consists of nothing more than synonyms for the essence of all sporting contests: victory and defeat. Everyone from Stuart Scott to Scott Van Pelt to Van Earl Wright has wrestled--metaphorically speaking--with how to elucidate results more colorfully without having to say "win" or "loss" (or, for that matter, "elucidate").

Hence, more than a few TV and radio score updates will feature the words rout and romp. Both rout and romp denote losses (or wins, depending upon your allegiance) that recall the final scene from "Gallipoli." In other words, a drubbing. Drubbings are not to be confused with barnburners, which are usually wild affairs that are evenly contested. And barnburners (and who among us has seen a barn, engulfed in flames, and not thought, "Well, this is exciting!") are not to be confused with duels, which, though evenly contested, feature little scoring. A barnburner is often a see-saw battle, while a duel rarely is. Barnburners, duels and see-saw battles all fall under the category of nail-biters, which are the polar opposite of laughers.

Got it? If not, perhaps some fan you know can give you an assist. Me, I'm going to punt on this topic.