Something struck me earlier, when I was trying to come up with a
topic for this column. (Something other than my favorite
pastime of Ryass bashing, which was OH-SOOO-TEMPTING after his
latest antics and rumored future antics, but I digress…)

I was discussing with another poster on Dr. Helen-Ruth’s AMC
board (shout-outs to THE QUEEN!) possible suspects in the
Satin-Slayer murders when it hit me. Why not REALLY shake
things up and make the killer someone so completely unexpected
and so beloved that NO ONE would see it coming?

What if AMC could actually pull off a bait-and-switch along
the same vein that OLTL did with Trevor St. John and the
execution storyline? You know, how Trevor played along with the
whole “They’re killing off my character, WTF? Oh darn,”
thing? What if TPTB at AMC could pull off something like that
with the serial killer storyline? And NO, I do not mean with
Vincent Irizarry’s character, David Hayward.

We all know how TIIC are getting rid of beloved vets to make
room for less expensive, much-less-talented younger “actors,”
(and I use the term loosely). Heck, one of them just
disappeared in a blaze of…no, wait…there was no blaze of
glory. There wasn’t even a “Goodbye, I’m moving to London”
scene, she was just GONE. (As if she had never been there in
the first place, and would never be missed, after playing her
character for thirty years.) Yes, that’s right m’dears, I’m
talking about Julia Barr’s Brooke English!

Now, before I get roasted in the fires of righteous indignation,
hear me out. I love the character of Brooke, always have. TPTB
at ABC Daytime did her WRONG by letting her go the way they did,
and without so much as even a goodbye. Personally, I would
rather see Brooke go out in a hail of gunfire or as a tormented
serial killer than to just vanish from our screens without a
word. Think of the DRAMA this would generate. The
ANGST. Brooke is intertwined with so many core and fringe
characters that her descent into madness would set off a chain
reaction in Pine Valley of epic proportions!

Think of the aftermath of that reveal?

Adam would be reeling, for sure, and it would give him a chance
to get out from under the specter of Krystal-with-a-K-Carey and
Babe; give him a chance at some really meaty material. Likewise
for Tad and Jamie. Maybe even cause Jamie to
grow-the-hell-up. JR, too. Everyone in town would be affected
AND devastated. Well, except for Erica, of course, who would
just be flipping her hair and slapping/rubbing her thighs in
righteous indignation - all the while proclaiming to everyone
that she ALWAYS knew Brooke English was no good. It MIGHT even
get Ryass and Jonathug to SHUT-THE-HELL-UP, though I don’t hold
out much hope for that. After all, Jonathug’s tumor entitled
him to all the forgiveness, redemption and hero-worship in the
world, but there would be no forgiveness for Brooke.

Nope. Not
one bit. You know, cause she’s not a Lavery.

>eyeroll<

Now, it’s true that serial killing would be completely out of
character for Brooke, so there would definitely need to be an
explanation for why she would suddenly go off the deep end and
start killing the Fusion twits in order to wreak havoc and
vengeance upon Zach Slater. What to do, what to do? Hmmm…..
Well, one option is the brain tumor angle; that always explains
out of character behavior, but they used that one on Jonathug. What
about some other horrible disease that affects behavior, maybe
even causes delusions?

If Brooke contracted a disease (or something) that made her
suffer from delusions or hallucinations (both?) it could stand
to reason that SOMEHOW she became convinced that Zach Slater was
responsible for something terrible that happened in her
life. Maybe even that HE was the one who ran over her beloved
daughter, Laura, all those years ago, instead of that other
guy. As the head of Tempo Magazine, she would have the
resources and wherewithal to ferret out information about Clan
Cambias and she could have learned about what happened to
Amelia, that little Zach was there at the time, and use that
against him as a way to torture and avenge (what she
perceives/believes to be) Zach’s crimes against her.

That Kendall and Bianca are Erica’s daughters - her oldest
nemesis and rival for her newly rekindled feelings for Jack -
would simply be the icing on the cake. Everyone else in town is
running around suspecting the transgendered one and NO ONE would
ever consider the possibility that it was Brooke who was
actually committing the murders. She knows the town, she knows
the players… Who better to pull off these crimes while hiding in
plain sight? No one would ever suspect her, or find it odd that
she would turn up on the doorstep of any of the victims or
intended victims; she’s Brooke! Just imagine how powerful it
could be if, when they are finally ready for the big reveal, her
own son is the one who ends up standing between her and her
intended victim? Or Tad? Or Adam? Or Jack? Or even
Dixie? And they had to be the one to stop her, at all costs and
by any means necessary? Now THAT, m’dears, would be high soapy
drama. It was also be much more worthy of Julia Barr’s talent
than to have her simply vanish without a word.