January 05, 2005

Why asparagus is bad for you

No, this is not a medical warning thingy. This is a real life conversation I got stuck in when my friend abandoned me because she couldn't stand Pompous Smart Aleck. Surprisingly enough, that's not really her name.

Pompous Smart Aleck: So, as I was saying, I for one will never ever go down on a guy. It's demeaning and humiliating to women. It's just another way for men to oppress women through sex.
Me: *shrugs* If that's what you think.
Pompous Smart Aleck: You don't think I'm right?
Me: I don't even want to be in a conversation with you. (In retrospect, that wasn't very nice, but I REALLY can't stand her)
Pompous Smart Aleck: But you can't deny the fact that oral sex propagates the stereotype that a woman should always kneel before her husband, the supposed 'lord and master' of the home. (I hate it when people do the finger thing to indicate quotes. Or maybe it's just her)
Me: So don't do it at home.
Pompous Smart Aleck: *bristles* That's not the point! The point is, by indulging men by pleasuring them orally, you're technically telling them to walk all over you because you are willingly submitting to a servile position. Relationships are about balancing power, and if you let a man have power over you, your rights are being trampled upon!
Me: Balance of power?
Pompous Smart Aleck: Yes!
Me: Look here Miss SA, if I stop doing what I'm doing right before he blows his left nut, who do you think has power over whom?

At this point I had enough and walked off, so I had no idea how she reacted. Called my friend and told her I left. Not surprisingly, she had also left. Fortunately for the preservation of her good health, a meal at Chili's was promised. If you think I'm making this up, by god I only wished I was. :~( That was a painful 15 minutes I could've done without.

As for the title, asparagus is bad for you because it makes your spunk taste seriously funky. Of course, my sample size was very limited, so it's by no means conclusive.

A quick google on the words "asparagus" and "semen" found this (rather informative), this, this, this, and this (contains images not appropriate for minors). And that's just on the first page. :)

…..“Relationships are about balancing power, and if you let a man have power over you, your rights are being trampled upon!” Nay ..nay

A couple in relationships can constantly reinforce its joy, gaiety and spontaneity by concentrating on ideas of vitality, strength and creativity or let half of its energy slip away by reinforcing resentments, angers and thoughts of doubt and failure.

@Resurrected:I actually have no idea how she managed to squeeze into our conversation.

@Kim:I thought it was the petai that made piss stink? Never knew asparagus did it too.

We actually have even more power if you manage to tie the guy down before starting any hanky-panky stuff, but then that's delving in too deep, heheh.

@Narrowband:Any guy who's stupid/blind enough to willingly step into the role of "SA's bf" doesn't bloody deserve a BJ. He deserves to be shot, and shot again. In the groin.

@Buaya:Heheh, actually I'm not a pacifist at all. Socking her wasn't an option cos we were in public, and I'm not a patient person, so I had to walk away. It wasn't exactly a choice.

@SBM:Hoho, celebrity patronage! *grins* Thanks.

@Matty:Nothing much I could do stuck at home, so I channeled my energy to being contructive and slept till 11 almost everyday. :)

Yes, alcohol makes it bad, but it has to go through your system first, so you're safe for the first 3 hours. Provided you didn't take any asparagus. Once it goes down your throat you have to wait a week for it to clear out.

@mwt:Miss SA doesn't exactly make it a point to be reasonable and logical in her spittle-flying 'dissertations'. Nothing about her makes sense. NOTHING.

Actually, I tried that 'no oral sex because it's demeaning to be down on my knees' thing. And I told him the taste wasn't too great. He agreed completely that giving oral pleasure while down on ones knees was demeaning. And he agreed that the taste wasn't too great. He said he was glad I brought it up because he hadn't wanted to say anything. And then, having agreed with all my points, he stopped doing it too. Oops.