CMT Awards Scrolldown Fug: Carrie Underwood

If there’s anything you know we like, it’s Diet Coke, Sweet Valley High, Jon Hamm/Pacey/a predictable cadre of future GFY HQ interns, and sequins. So it will come as no great shock that I was fully on board this train…

… and then, presumably as I hopped between carriages in search of the bar car, I was rudely thrown from it and left by the side of the tracks with amnesia and a concussion. Booties are all well and good, but the ankle cuffs suggest she was recently released from a mental hospital with no time to shave under her soft restraints.

I mean, see how much better its sequined cousin looks with strappier shoes? Then again, if she’d worn those from the start, I’d have had very little to talk about beyond typing the words “pretty pretty sparkly” over and over again and then yawning something about when Jessica Simpson needs back her hair extensions. So thanks, Carrie, for doing this blogger a solid.