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Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Originally Posted by goto124

I know, I mean "where on the map is that?"

... I just noticed the pun.

That was the main reason I commented!

Well, we've mostly been in the eastern area. Just left the Jerk General Hospital. Before I joined they were moving between Jerkside, Jerkville and the unlabled Jerk Town. I'm not sure if we headed east or west from the hospital, in which case we'd be between Jerk 84, Ministry of Jerks and the lower pink Jerks, or west. In which case we'd sortabe somewhere on the lakefront.

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Originally Posted by Inspector Valin

Well, we've mostly been in the eastern area. Just left the Jerk General Hospital. Before I joined they were moving between Jerkside, Jerkville and the unlabled Jerk Town. I'm not sure if we headed east or west from the hospital, in which case we'd be between Jerk 84, Ministry of Jerks and the lower pink Jerks, or west. In which case we'd sortabe somewhere on the lakefront.

We went east, toward the lake.

Choro: “Vindication! The Great Dichoro isn't quite as crazy and out there as I'd previously thought!”Doc: “You know, you can be right and still be crazy.”

Stellar: “Sorry guys, finding it really hard to keep up at the moment.”Viridia: “There's a pill for that.”

Moon: “I'd complain that Moonshadow still epically fails 10% on the time with Perception, despite having a maxed out score, but honestly that explains a lot about the show.”Doc: “On the bright side, Moon's failures are a lot softer. She crit-fails a Perception check and only face-plants into a cabinet. Doc misses his Perception by 1 and the hallway explodes.”

Doc: “I think if Bertly got a synth pony body, he might look like this.”Viridia: “No painted-on tits. 0/10.”Doc: “Sorry Bertly. You heard the mare.”Bertly: “The things I put up with for you lot.”

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

" And there goes the only party member who used magic. All we have now is a mad fourth wall breaking overly good alchemist. Know what that means?"
"That i can now quote Severus Snape! Ahem...there will be no waving wands or..."
"And that's it, let's gag him."
"But I haven't even had a redemption arc yet!"

"I can cultivate his DNA. Where is his corpse?"
"We got him cremated..."
"Oh? Well then, where are his ashes?"
"In the river."
"Ugh...well, there must be a blood stain somewhere..."
"No, remember? He died of poisoning, you were there."
"Then what about that time he..."
"They probably cleaned it off the bedsheets by now."
"...er, that's a new one to me. I was referring to that time he spat in a church."
"Okay then...pretend I was talking about that."

Digo: "Alright, let's go. I shove the mages through."GM: "Oh no. Armond is not that dumb. He resists."Chris: "I'm not that brand of stupid either."Digo: "Fine. I go through and take the healers with me."Armond: "...well played."

Digo: "The positions of the two wizards makes it look like they're about to high-five each other."Nick: "Yeah, but with their poor attack rolls, they both miss."

I hope you guys ate the kobolds whenever you killed them, just like the saucisson party.

Originally Posted by DigoDragon

Digo: "The positions of the two wizards makes it look like they're about to high-five each other."Nick: "Yeah, but with their poor attack rolls, they both miss."

Originally Posted by DigoDragon

Doc: (Checks stats) “Moonshadow has Unarmed 14, Melee 8, and Doc has Unarmed 12, Melee 9. So Doc and Moon can get themselves into a drunken brawl against each other, and end up not even touching one another?”

The fact that it's a potion of cure light water instead of just a potion of cure light reminds me of this.

That is about the right level of loot we typically find in dungeon encounters.

Digo: "This was an old stable for giant spiders about a decade ago. I found spider harness and saddles."Nick: "My woogie-woogie feeling says there's Drow here."Digo: "Your woogie-woogie feeling is about 10 years too late."Mel: "Maybe they all turned into driders?"Digo: "That leaves even more questions!"

Mel: "Ow! Son of a motherless goat!!"

GM: "You never use the Hide skill."Mel: "Yes I did."GM: "I don't remember you using Hide once. Jekyll either."

GM: "Hobbs is going to charge into the room."Mel: "Can Hobbs even fit?"Digo: "He's a large, white Siberian tiger. Hobbs will make himself should fit!"

GM: "The mimic is feeling all chesty and stuff, so he starts punching."

Nick: Dude, you just smeared a gnome!"Digo: "Bah, they're a dime a dozen."Nick: "Meanie! They're gonna unionize and then kick you in the crotch!"GM: "Gnomes don't need a union to kick people in the crotch."Digo: "Without a ladder they're not."

Mel: "My name is Mel Stormshadow! You killed my mimic, prepare to die!"Mel: *goes Barbarian Rage despite having no class levels in Barbarians and proceeds to max out damage rolls*Freya: (*taps Digo on the shoulder*) "Uh, is that your wife?"Digo: "I am not sure..."

Nick: "Pungent Sound with a picture of a fist. When it absolutely has to taste like the ocean."

Digo: "Okay, Nick. I'll open the door. If there's a monster inside, you--"Nick: "I shove you in there, right?"
[Beat]Digo: "I pick up Nick, place him in front of the door, and I go stand where he was."Digo: "Okay, Nick. You open the door. If there's a monster inside..."

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

"Scarlet was the only one to fight Vertas the Dragon, right? She MUST know how to defeat him!"
"Yeah...can't tell you much about it right now though, that would spoil it."
"Okay, first thing first I get an audience with her and say 'GIMME ALL YOUR SPOILERS MLADY!'"

I hope you guys ate the kobolds whenever you killed them, just like the saucisson party

that'd be me, believe me, as soon as food hits the battlemap, you'd think the players were in a free-for-all and not in a team game!

Digo: "Alright, let's go. I shove the mages through."GM: "Oh no. Armond is not that dumb. He resists."Chris: "I'm not that brand of stupid either."Digo: "Fine. I go through and take the healers with me."Armond: "...well played."

Dealer: As you walk down the cave, you notice several messages scrawled all over the place.
Buster: What do they say?
Dealer: *sets stack of notecards on table* Take your pick.
Nyfe: *takes a card* "Danger ahead."
Buster: *takes a card* "Beware of stabbing in the back*
Sypher: *takes a card* Says this one's by a pile of bones. "Don't give up Skeleton!"
Wyzz: *takes a card* Says the same on this one. "Try finger but hole...what?"
Rivit: *takes a card* This one's by a ledge: "Shortcut ahead, try Jumping. Ok then!"
Rest of group: "NO!"

Last edited by ZeroGear; 2017-07-17 at 12:01 AM.

If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

M'naji (Player 1): "So. This group is hiring. Tell us about your experiences with ships."
Gilbert le Roux: "I served on a war galley for six weeks during the war. We sunk three elven ships."
Thalassa: "I served 15 years as first mate and navigator on the Black Falcon out of the Imperial City."
J'Rashka: "This one served on trade ship. Ship sank. Then this one served on other trade ship. Was accidentally impounded by Imperial Revenue service. Then served on other trade ship. Is not important where ship is now. J'Rashka does not know.
J'Rashka does many great deeds on sea. Once steers three pirate ships at once after we defeat in battle. All ships are on beach now. Not an accident, this one does on purpose. Is an orphanage now, because J'Rashka is generous hero."
M'naji, whispering to the rest of the party: "This one thinks we should hire J'Rashka. This one likes him."

"Look, I don't see anything wrong with premarital sex, for all I care you can do it both before and after marriage. Just, for the love of the gods, don't do it DURING the wedding ceremony."

Yikes, they really had a thing going on between them.

Originally Posted by Eldan

Thierry: "You're an utter bastard. Also, remind me to never again piss off the merchant bank."

Heh, good advice. Especially when they got your money.

Viridia: “Can somebody pleaaaaase roll Survival for the safe? I have low Survival.”Choro: “Is it lower than [my] 3?”

Doc: “Well killbot and meatbag just crit succeeded on studying the samples.”

Choro: “Also, Killbot and Meatbag; add it to the list of musical act names!”

Doc: “Don't let your other blades get jelly.”Viridia: “Viridia won't let them have jelly. She's coming for that jelly. And by ‘jelly’, I mean booty. Sexually.”GM: *jelly.gif*

Viridia: “In case it's not obvious, I'm not a robot. I don't know the slang. Why don't you lead and I'll jump in when I need to?”Bertly: “I... would prefer some degree of privacy, if I may? It has been quite a while since I could talk to another robot.”Viridia: “Ohhh, I see. You like a bulky chassis, huh? Go get him, tiger.” (bops hips with Bertly)Bertly: *sputtering noise, leaves room faster than she could say 'Robo Bachelor'*

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Hello everyone. Been a while, but I finally found something that I had to share.

Sniper Scope: Is it bad that my first thought is of Love reenacting Beauty and the Beast in her lab? It would have all the animated lab equipment singing "Be Our Guest" around mutilated pony jars filled with the results of experiments gone awry?
Rose: Well now I cannot unsee it. I totally accept this as headcanon.
GM: Meanwhile, Star Chaser dreams of big, fluffy pillows and hyperdrives.
Rose: FTL - Fluffier Than Light?

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

"She's tiny but with a huge head. She wears a bridal veil, meaning she probably scalped some poor sod on the day of her marriage and wore it ever since. She likes to torture bugs, skin dogs alive and drinks cologne, making her both drunk and smell pretty. Please, I want her forever."

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

Originally Posted by Miltonian

Sniper Scope: Is it bad that my first thought is of Love reenacting Beauty and the Beast in her lab? It would have all the animated lab equipment singing "Be Our Guest" around mutilated pony jars filled with the results of experiments gone awry?
Rose: Well now I cannot unsee it. I totally accept this as headcanon.
GM: Meanwhile, Star Chaser dreams of big, fluffy pillows and hyperdrives.
Rose: FTL - Fluffier Than Light?

For when you're a heavy sleeper and need the comfort? ;)

Originally Posted by Gallade

"She's tiny but with a huge head. She wears a bridal veil, meaning she probably scalped some poor sod on the day of her marriage and wore it ever since. She likes to torture bugs, skin dogs alive and drinks cologne, making her both drunk and smell pretty. Please, I want her forever."

You can have her. O.o

"You pickpocket the Gargoyle. You steal a rock!"
"Um. I think you stole his left nut."

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Spoiler: Reply

Show

Originally Posted by Gallade

"She's tiny but with a huge head. She wears a bridal veil, meaning she probably scalped some poor sod on the day of her marriage and wore it ever since. She likes to torture bugs, skin dogs alive and drinks cologne, making her both drunk and smell pretty. Please, I want her forever."

Reta does have a certain allure...

DM: Well, everyone made their saves against the large noxious cloud GoblinBard left, except NecroGnome. No wait, you're fine too. You don't breathe.

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

"We got past ONE mecha-cerberus, and even then just barely. What are we going to do if we encounter, say, seven of them at once?"
"...throw 21 mecha-squeaky bones at them?"

"Well, by the next few levels all our alignments will be pretty much Jackass Good, but on the bright side, we'll have a mecha-dragon jet liner!"
"Not me though! I'll stay LG, thank you very much."
"You spineless snitch! You know what this means? It means you don't get to ride shotgun!"
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I had randomly given out one of those in a loot pile to a group and OMG, they abused the ever-loving Ehlonna out of that belt. XD

The guys used to so they can vamp guards for info/money/favors and the ladies used it to sneak into gentlemen clubs and rob them blind. Like, how did this one curse item become their ticket to turning the team into a thieves guild? XD Eventually they got bored with it and gave it away to some random farmer. Yeah, how generous.

GM: “The other alternative would be to reduce [Mirror Armor] to a plot object with special McGuffin powers, which is boring.”Doc: “She has special McGuffin powers. Even says so on her character sheet’s Magic section.”Mirror Armor’s character sheet: “Crystal Magic: Many effects, depending on the plot!”

Moon: “Yeah, I get that. Doc is easy, he's a Doctor. Choro is easy, she'd study magic and artifacts. Viridia is easy, she'd be seducing mares everywhere. Stellar is much more difficult I think.”

Viridia: “Disclaimer: Viridia has been eighteen since the game started. Please do not attempt to re-create anything she's done if you're under 18, else you'll go blind!”

Choro: “Hmm... does that mean we should disguise ourselves as a comedy group? You know, if we ever need a disguise.”Doc: *looks at what Choro is wearing*Doc: *says nothing*

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Originally Posted by DigoDragon

The guys used to so they can vamp guards for info/money/favors and the ladies used it to sneak into gentlemen clubs and rob them blind. Like, how did this one curse item become their ticket to turning the team into a thieves guild? XD Eventually they got bored with it and gave it away to some random farmer. Yeah, how generous.

Did you tell the guys they didn't need to change sex for guard vamping to work?

What setting is it? 18th century Britain?

Originally Posted by DigoDragon

Doc: “She has special McGuffin powers. Even says so on her character sheet’s Magic section.”Mirror Armor’s character sheet: “Crystal Magic: Many effects, depending on the plot!”

Future GMPC right there! Aren't you glad she's your PC's fiancée?

Originally Posted by DigoDragon

Doc: *looks at what Choro is wearing*Doc: *says nothing*

What was/is Choro wearing?

I read the thread, the biotech cattle feed is right out of a horror game, and if I knew anything about horror games it's that (touch wood!) eventually someone will eat it and the protagonists will have to find a cure before it's too late. Nevermind the effects of its intended use.

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Originally Posted by goto124

What was/is Choro wearing?

Spoiler: Choro for Context!

Show

"Well, I'm a wizard, so feel that it's my responsibility to dress appropriately. How else would ponies know who to turn to when magical catastrophy happens? However my Stable didn't really have wizard robes in my size (and neither did the Fallout Equestria RPG rules) so I had to improvise a little. I sewed my big pointy hat myself, but I wasn't really up to making a robe from scratch. So I dyed a lab coat blue, cut off a few little bits, and embroidered a very nice star design on it. A combination of old and new, for the modern wizard."

"But somehow nopony takes me seriously! It's infuriating! I try to be nice about it, but really, they act like I'm a filly in fancy dress." *pouts*

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Originally Posted by goto124

Oh my goodness, it's the wizard herself! Please don't Fireball me!

... actually, is Choro even an actual Wizard? I seem to remember Digo... Doc telling me that the only magic in the setting was unicorn magic, and the creepy evil voodoo magic.

Spoiler: More Context from Choro

Show

"Not an actual wizard?! I.... do you even see this hat? Pointy hat! Who other than a Wizard wears a pointy..."

"Sorry, sorry. Yes, I'm a wizard, though that might not mean what you think it does. I'm a unicorn who studies magic. There's plenty of unicorns who do that, and most wouldn't call themselves wizards these days. It's more a question of philosophy, approach and what material you work with. Occultists use old rituals, repeated just as so without understanding why they work. They're the crazy cultist type of magic-ponies. Scientists work to quantify magic, imposing more rules and ideas on it. They're about as crazy as occultists, but are better at hiding it and dressing well. Wizardry came between the two historically, and is roughly a midpoint. We codify, we theorize, but we don't go out of control crazy about it in the way scientists do. And we didn't destroy the world, thank you very much."

Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

Originally Posted by Inspector Valin

Spoiler: Choro for Context!

Show

"Well, I'm a wizard, so feel that it's my responsibility to dress appropriately. How else would ponies know who to turn to when magical catastrophy happens? However my Stable didn't really have wizard robes in my size (and neither did the Fallout Equestria RPG rules) so I had to improvise a little. I sewed my big pointy hat myself, but I wasn't really up to making a robe from scratch. So I dyed a lab coat blue, cut off a few little bits, and embroidered a very nice star design on it. A combination of old and new, for the modern wizard."

"But somehow nopony takes me seriously! It's infuriating! I try to be nice about it, but really, they act like I'm a filly in fancy dress." *pouts*

Originally Posted by Inspector Valin

Spoiler: More Context from Choro

Show

"Not an actual wizard?! I.... do you even see this hat? Pointy hat! Who other than a Wizard wears a pointy..."

"Sorry, sorry. Yes, I'm a wizard, though that might not mean what you think it does. I'm a unicorn who studies magic. There's plenty of unicorns who do that, and most wouldn't call themselves wizards these days. It's more a question of philosophy, approach and what material you work with. Occultists use old rituals, repeated just as so without understanding why they work. They're the crazy cultist type of magic-ponies. Scientists work to quantify magic, imposing more rules and ideas on it. They're about as crazy as occultists, but are better at hiding it and dressing well. Wizardry came between the two historically, and is roughly a midpoint. We codify, we theorize, but we don't go out of control crazy about it in the way scientists do. And we didn't destroy the world, thank you very much."

The great and powerful Trixie called, she'd like her wardrobe back.
...Thinking about it now, I'm surprised the Goddess Allicorns haven't tried blasting Choro yet.

If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.