When I one day started not feeling well and was scared and had extreme anxiety, I went to urgent care immediately and had to wait there for hours in my uncomfortable, uneasy state. I tried calling a handful of people to come meet met there and every one of them seemed to have an excuse on why they could not be there. There were others of course I could have called but I knew they couldn’t be bothered.

Over the next few weeks, before I moved back to Seattle, I just felt awful most of the time and I was trying to get ready to clear everything out and move. I asked some friends if I could stay at their places while I was going through this because it was cold were I was and I just didn’t feel great being there. All of them, except for one person, could not be bothered by it. On top of this, the woman who I stayed with and paid rent on time for years every month, didn’t treat very well at times as well and didn’t really show compassion.

I found all of this interesting. It was like nobody could be bothered and this ironic thing about this is all of these people, I don’t talk to anymore. I have totally cleared the space with. It took awhile, but one after another just faded away. The irony though of all this, is probably most of these people are so saddened by the passing of Robin Williams and probably post on Facebook, but the hypocrisy is they weren’t there to lend a helping hand who was going through a similar challenge in their life.

So what is friendship, well, through this past year and half, I have made a few close, good friends, who have been their for me and showed compassion and care. Who were there to talk to when I needed to speak with them, who were there if I needed something, who were just there as good friends.

A friend of mine says, think of somebody as nothing, not helpful, not expecting anything from them, until they prove to you otherwise. This might be a cynical way of looking at things, but he has a point.

Friendship isn’t talk, it’s action. Friendship isn’t just going to awards ceremonies or birthday parities, it’s being their when somebody is at their lowest in times of struggle. Friendship isn’t about buying material possessions, it’s about lending a helping hand. Friendship isn’t about being their friend for your gain, but about creating a balanced dynamic to help each other grow.

Friendship is about loyalty, it’s about integrity, it’s about understanding, it’s about compassion, it’s about being their for each other.