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Well, I got to start with something sweet, Thunter Bunny. I could be the Girl Scout from Hell and you the neighbor I'm trying to sell my cookies to. Damn, work with me, man. But then I got left hanging in a thread for Project Runway...*pouts and sighs*...See, it moments like this when I need Sharkie. *carefully puts out some Sharkie Treats*

I'm barely out the door and she's already getting chummy with Sharkie again.

Hmmm...I see how this game is played. I gotta keep my ladies happy or they're gonna roam.

Hell, I don't blame you. I can't bend like that.

Well, who left me for Project Runway, huh? And I put out Sharkie Treats cuz I was testing my culinary skill since I watch Iron Chef America... And now you are just figuring out you got to keep the ladies happy? Sheesh, I have been pining after you since who knows how long or did you think you could keep teasing me? I need servicing, damn it. As long as you can bend over, it's allllllllll goooooooood.... You may not be able to bend like Sharkie but I am sure you have some hidden talent that I don't know about...

I see no reason why someone can't be politely asked their status. Usually all it takes is a "why don't you introduce yourself." Refusing to answer is just one big fat red flag. Believe me we can't be fooled.

I agree that one should be able to be asked (however politely) whether they're HIV+ or not. I don't like it when someone comes flogging in here, and throws advice around like they're old hands, when they're not. And then won't even state their reason for being here in the first place.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Amen to that brother. I see no reason why someone can't be politely asked their status. Usually all it takes is a "why don't you introduce yourself." Refusing to answer is just one big fat red flag. Believe me we can't be fooled.

Agreed. There's no harm in asking ONCE, politely. When that person ignores the question, it doesn't mean it's open season to start badgering that person or for others to pile in also asking the question.

If you think red flags are being raised and the person is a sock or a troll, don't antagonise them. DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS! Pass your suspicions on to the moderators and GIVE US SOME TIME TO ACT ON IT!!!

Please keep in mind that we will always give the benefit of doubt when there is no hard evidence supporting members' suspicions. However, if the person truly is a sock/troll, they will eventually give us enough rope and they WILL be dealt with.

It's so much easier to deal with these types if no one is rising to the bait. We hate it when we end up having to also warn or TO members in good standing because they took it upon themselves to wrangle with a sock/troll. REMEMBER THAT, PLEASE!

I said it earlier in this thread and I'll say it again. It's the job of the moderators to deal with this kind of stuff, not ordinary members.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Good topic. I think there are some people who are here to gawk, or stir the pot, rather than constructively participate and contribute. In that respect, it's no different than most other places on the Internet. I think most of us know some of the more subtle signals, such as lack of disclosure of status, lack of an introduction, being vague about background or intent. It is often not just one sign, but rather a pattern of them, which sometimes can establish itself rather quickly. Fortunately, we have Goderators who are astute about these things, and are willing to take action to weed out these trolls.

Regards,

Henry

Logged

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Amen to that brother. I see no reason why someone can't be politely asked their status. Usually all it takes is a "why don't you introduce yourself." Refusing to answer is just one big fat red flag. Believe me we can't be fooled.

For my own part, my issue with some who are neg and post in certain sections is in regards to their intentions. As others have already stated, it is the ones with the dubious intentions that show themselves sooner or later.

There are two main areas that I have issue with the aforementioned some:

- Those who come in for Research, college papers or opinion polls*

- Those who try to sell their product or services such as legal, pharmaceutical or nutritionist representative.

*In the above example I don't really mind the actual items if they are cleared with the moderators and presented on face value, but there are a few times when someone comes in under false pretenses and starts playing 20 questions as if we are test subjects.

One of the things that needs to be kept in mind is that as this site continues to grow in popularity and in reach, I think we all have a responsibility to be hawkish when it comes to what is allowed to be posted unchallenged in the Research, Treatments and Nutrition areas specifically because I really don't relish someone citing some voodoo herb as a cure for AIDS based on the fact that it was stated on AIDSmeds. While false leads and misinformation is not exclusive to neg or poz, I think the previously mentioned worry of those with dubious intentions make this the key to my own skeptical eye with certain posts.

I respect the moderators request that we let them handle such suspicions, though I do think we should be allowed to state publicly to the poster in question if we have such a suspicion and our reason - after all, we are giving them the benefit of the doubt to then explain themselves.

I'm a neggie and am honored to fall in to a category with Mum, Nadine and Theresa.

I, at first, felt horrible reading the first post in this thread..but upon reading the rest, feel much better. I do my best to be respectful, ask questions, and only add input where I think I might be helpful and knowleadgeable.

I do see Timmy's point - and often cringe when an unknown tells someone new in the " I Just Tested Poz" that they're crazy for not starting HAART immediately. I worry about those newbies getting such difinitive answers from people with no right to make such pointed statements.

Hope I haven't offended or ever over-stepped my bounds here..and if I ever do - please let me know! I like it here. Not only do I find answers to my HIV related questions, I find support and acceptance.

One of the things that needs to be kept in mind is that as this site continues to grow in popularity and in reach, I think we all have a responsibility to be hawkish when it comes to what is allowed to be posted unchallenged in the Research, Treatments and Nutrition areas specifically because I really don't relish someone citing some voodoo herb as a cure for AIDS based on the fact that it was stated on AIDSmeds. While false leads and misinformation is not exclusive to neg or poz, I think the previously mentioned worry of those with dubious intentions make this the key to my own skeptical eye with certain posts.

I respect the moderators request that we let them handle such suspicions, though I do think we should be allowed to state publicly to the poster in question if we have such a suspicion and our reason - after all, we are giving them the benefit of the doubt to then explain themselves.

Agreed, to an extent. It is one thing to post ONE reply to ask a person to explain themselves (and please, always follow this up with a moderator report so we can review the post ourselves and remove it or intervene when necessary), however it is totally different when the request is repeated again and again or by several people. If they ignore one request, they're hardly going to respond to repeated and increasingly heated requests.

Please, let us handle this sort of thing. And always remember - if you want feedback on a moderator report, please say so in your report.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Despite the anonymity offered by the internet, we're always going to get new members to the Forums who wish to enmesh themselves in this community and build a sense of trust before disclosing their HIV status. While many of us don't have a problem entering this (or another) forum saying, "Hi, I'm HIV positive and am looking to give/receive help or support," many do.

Longtime members of these Forums know that it's a safe place and are certainly familiar with the rules, politics and tripwires. While some new members are quick to pick up on these and waste no time endearing themselves to this community, others require a little more patience, encouragement, coaching... and sometimes warnings.

We simply can't have a black-and-white policy requiring every person who joins the Forums -- and begins participating in key "living with" sections -- to disclose their status immediately and figure out, right off the bat, the dynamics and cadence of this community. It's different when we have members of the "Am I Infected?" Forum wondering into sections where they don't belong. But when we're dealing with new members who joing "this side" of the Forums -- and we do screen new accounts to make sure they're not duplicates -- I do think it's okay to err on the side of caution and give new members the space and time they need to disclose what they're looking for in the Forums. Questions like, "Are you positive or not," seem overly aggressive and paranoid; more gentle nudges -- perhaps a general welcome message, reiterating that the Forums are a space for HIV-positive people and their care providers (nothing's lost with a little kindness) -- may be all that's necessary when trying to figure out a new member who hasn't disclosed his or her status or stated his or her interest in the Forums.

With all that said, we've put a ban on Tic's account -- not because he has evaded questions about his status, but because of his flame baiting with such a newly minted account. Tic, as someone who claims to "frequent many" forums and are "much loved," then you are obviously familiar with the term netiquette and the need for new members of a Forum to ender themselves to other members, especially in a Forum that is intended for people living (and sometimes struggling) with a life-threatening disease. Tic, if you'd like to discuss your participation in the Forums, please contact me directly via e-mail.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I happen to understand your frustration and I am glad you brought this subject up. Recently I have realised that I should probably be a little more cautious of what personal info I put out here on the forum. (well maybe not everything )

Don't worry about it Timmy - I thought I knew what you meant in your initial post and upon reading the rest of the thread, my thoughts were confirmed. Anyone who reads the entire thread will get it too-

I just thought it would be a good time to say.. "let me know if I'm ever out of line" - I'm open to certain forms of discipline. Time-outs - not so much. Spankings? well.. that's another story.

Back in the good ol' days we didn't seem to have this much of a problem. Most people's initial post in Living With would start with hi I'm so and so and I've been Poz for...they would immediately receive a welcome. Now it has become so static with strangers jumping in feet first to a thread without so much as a howdy do or courtesy and manners. Fucking kids get off my lawn.

Back in the good ol' days we didn't seem to have this much of a problem. Most people's initial post in Living With would start with hi I'm so and so and I've been Poz for...they would immediately receive a welcome. Now it has become so static with strangers jumping in feet first to a thread without so much as a howdy do or courtesy and manners. Fucking kids get off my lawn.

I was such a n00b to forums (this was my first and still primary forum) that I was clue free about how to navigate it, so I never made any introduction post. Didn't know how to navigate on here to do so. All I could figure out at first was "reply", so I just kinda jumped in myself and started posting some responses. Most of them just laid there flailing about and dying without anyone picking up on them. I was so not feeling the love. I totally understand now, of course, why that was. People were rightly thinking, "Who is this clown all of the sudden?" It helped that I showed my hoo ha in the porn thread.

So readers, I guess the lesson here is: If you're gonna be secretive about status and things like that, at least surrender the pink.

I agree that one should be able to be asked (however politely) whether they're HIV+ or not. I don't like it when someone comes flogging in here, and throws advice around like they're old hands, when they're not. And then won't even state their reason for being here in the first place.

Agreed. Or decides to run nillywilly for MONTHS posting the most odd BS in Research News while at the same time posting in Am I Infected asking if they're cd4 count indicates that they're HIV positive.

I was such a n00b to forums (this was my first and still primary forum) that I was clue free about how to navigate it, so I never made any introduction post. Didn't know how to navigate on here to do so. All I could figure out at first was "reply", so I just kinda jumped in myself and started posting some responses. Most of them just laid there flailing about and dying without anyone picking up on them. I was so not feeling the love. I totally understand now, of course, why that was. People were rightly thinking, "Who is this clown all of the sudden?" It helped that I showed my hoo ha in the porn thread.

So readers, I guess the lesson here is: If you're gonna be secretive about status and things like that, at least surrender the pink.

(kidding)

Oh don't you worry we had our eye on you. Consensus was he may be a jerk but at least he is cute. We were right about one of 'em.

You can get a lot of mileage by posting in the porn thread. Ain't that right Peter?

ok thunter34 if your worried about ticticbang, just google him, he's in your neck of the woods . and as for being exclusive, just google "thunter34" and you'll see just how exclusive you are the joys of the WWW

ok thunter34 if your worried about ticticbang, just google him, he's in your neck of the woods . and as for being exclusive, just google "thunter34" and you'll see just how exclusive you are the joys of the WWW

already found...and recognized, actually. though i have no assurance that this tictic and that one are one and the same. plenty of times, i've tried to create a new profile username only to find it is already taken somewhere. such could be the case here. it's neither here nor there - tictic was/is not the real focus of this thread.

oh, i know i'm not all that exclusive or special. still, last check and nearly all "thunter34" googles plopped me right back here or POZ or in some other AIDS encrusted frame. boy howdy...not a chance of putting the poz cat bag in the bag for me at this point.