Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Shem and Japeth Had it Right

This beautiful lap robe was made by our daughter-in-law and provides a "covering over" Mom appreciates very much!

I've begun a year-long Bible reading plan, and thus far, six whole days into the New Year, I'm doing pretty well with it (last time I read through the Bible it took me nearly three years to complete).

Last night's reading included an account of Noah and his three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japeth. Noah had gotten drunk and was lying on the ground unclothed. Ham saw him, and hurried to tell his brothers all about it. Shem and Japeth took a blanket, held it between them, then walked backward to cover their father so they would not see his shame.

When Noah woke up and figured out what had happened, guess which of his sons received his blessings and which one was cursed?

I'd read this Bible story before without applying it to my own life in any way, but last night I remembered the passage that says, "Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). I thought with discomfort of how, when my mother hurts my feelings, or does something embarrassing or rude, that I call my daughter to vent, or tell my husband all about it. I could help them to respect my mom more by covering over her
wrongdoings and disease-related behaviors, but I want sympathy. The truth of the matter is this: we
don't need human sympathy when others mistreat us, we need to partake of the Lord's solace.

This morning as I brought my list of hurts to the Lord, it was as though I heard Him say, "Are you going to allow your
mother’s sins against you to corrupt your relationship with Me and thus forfeit
your own well-being, or are you going to partake of My forgiveness toward you
and then extend that grace to your mother?"

Well, when He puts it that way, of COURSE I'm going to choose to say "I forgive..." but the Lord has to make it real. We aren't able to get at the recesses of our own sin-stained hearts, but we can say the words--again and again, as necessary, "Lord thank You for forgiving me, for Your sake I forgive these others who have hurt me..."

It is blessed to cover over the wrongdoings of another person. When we turn to other human beings for sympathy and support ahead of crying out to the Lord, we not only display a lack of trust in God to take action on our behalf, we also risk causing harm to relationships. I've had to ask forgiveness today for damaging my daughter's perceptions of her grandmother by complaining about details of caregiving that my daughter did not need to know.

God really likes it when we cover over the sins of another person, forgive, and bring our aching hearts directly to Him with no stops along the way. He is able to provide the solace and help we need.

6 comments:

I'm so like that, wanting sympathy. God is the ultimate comfort but we often look to others for comfort. For me, lately it's food and that's not a good thing. Thank you for sharing your heart. Have a blessed day.

There is balance to find that is certain. For what it is worth, I have never thought that anything you shared here was unkind nor have I thought any less of your precious mom. I have thought that you were helping others by providing some specificity and, even then, I have known that you were not telling all. Many blessings in the New Year!

Oh Vee, thank you for this--in my writing and ministry to caregivers I do pray hard about what to share and what to "cover over." It is in my relationships with loved ones that I struggle. I am a person who needs to vent, and I must learn to run straight to the Lord with no stops along the way! Blessings to you and yours, Vee.

I saw your blog title on Melanie's sidebar and had to come over. My mother-in-law does not have Alzheimer's, but she has experienced a fair amount of dementia in the last several years. We have cared for her in our home for the last 2 and 1/2 years, bringing her home from the nursing home at 92 lbs., thinking we were bringing her home to die. But she perked up with one on one care, though she is still declining physically. She has not been verbal, except for an occasional phrase, for several months now, so we haven't had that to deal with. Even when she was verbal, we didn't have many altercations except for being occasionally misunderstood and trying (and giving up) to convince her that what she thought wasn't what happened. If it had been either of our fathers - it would have been a different story entirely. :-)

I understand what you mean about the need to vent and the responsibility to cover. On the other hand, there is a need for realism, so sometimes it's hard to find the right balance. Some years ago, long before my m-i-l came, I was catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while who was caring for her m-i-l with Alzheimer's. When I asked her about it, she smiled and said they considered it their privilege. While I appreciated that, my reason for asking was, "I think it would be hard, and I don't know if I could do it, and I want to know how God is getting you through it." To not have any indication that she thought it was hard left me feeling that there was something wrong with me for thinking that there would be. And most of the negative stuff I deal with in care-giving is just my own selfishness. She truly may not have thought it was hard. I didn't necessarily want her to tell me all the nitty-gritty personal details, but I would have liked to have had some idea of the pressures involved and what to do about them.

I think your post here is a good example of that balance - sharing the issue and admitting that it's hard without detailing specifically what your mom said.

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About Me

If my mom hadn't gotten Alzheimer's, I would never have written a book
for caregivers. If I hadn't lost the reading program that meant so much
to me, I wouldn't have taken early retirement from my teaching job. If I
hadn't already had author status, I'd never have written a novel that
is a tribute to how much I loved teaching kids to read. If God hadn't
kept my heart's needs in mind through the sorrows He allowed, a
traditional publishing company never would have picked up either of my
books. And if I hadn't become overweight, I'd never have learned about God's mercy and grace in a way that would help others and free me from a lifelong case of self-condemnation. I am grateful, and have peace in the understanding that God truly
does work all things together for good.