160751: Treating premature ejaculation

My question is concerning premature ejaculation. I suffer from this “illness”. I have been married for nearly two years and this illness has prevented me from having normal intercourse with my wife. I can not satisfy her. Maybe this is a punishment from Allah?
However, I read that this is a very widespread illness, and that it can be treated.
There seems to be medical treatment as well as a kind of training/practice. This includes, among other things, that a person stimulates himself by rubbing his penis to learn to deal with the sexual arousal, and even to ejaculate. I know that this is normally forbidden to do, but I do not see a solution for the problem without treatment. I have tried other things before like a special ointment and other stuff, but without success. I am afraid, if I do not treat this illness that I might fall back into sin. There is so much information on the Internet, but I do not know what is trustworthy and what is just a way of making money. What can I do? Please give me advice!.

Published Date: 2011-06-27

Praise be to Allaah.

The view that masturbation is haraam is the view of most of
the scholars and is supported by shar‘i evidence; in fact all sexual
gratification is limited in our sharee‘ah to the wife or concubine (and the
latter is not available in our time). Any other means of pleasure used by
people is only a means of immorality and spreading mischief in the land, let
alone the fact that it is contrary to the fitrah (sound human nature) with
which man has been created with regard to the way of fulfilling physical
desires. Whatever the case, we find it strange that masturbation is regarded
as a means of treating premature ejaculation. What we have read and learned
from dozens of medical websites and suggestions for treatment is that
masturbation is one of the causes of premature ejaculation; this is
according to the testimony of doctors first of all, and also that of those
who are suffering from this problem. Hence we do not advise this method of
treatment.

But if what you are doing, which requires rubbing the penis,
whether maniy (semen) comes out of it or not, if this is a medical treatment
that you need, then you can use this method of treatment in a manner that is
permissible according to sharee‘ah, by means of intimacy with your wife and
masturbation by her hand. The fuqaha’ have stated that masturbation with the
wife’s hand is permissible for the husband, because the husband may enjoy
all parts of her body – with the exception of anal intercourse – so there is
nothing wrong with masturbation with the wife’s hand.

Al-Hattaab al-Maaliki (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

Study of the madhhab and the hadeeths indicate that that –
i.e., masturbation with the wife’s hand – is permissible. And Allah knows
best.