How we’re subjecting kids to our insecurities

January 29, 2018

As a millennial mom, I’ve noticed something astounding about myself and others. Motherhood is a competition. Others may not recognize it, but it can get pretty stressful at times living up to this type of comparison that we do amongst ourselves. We compare the pregnancies we have, the deliveries, and how we decide to feed our child in the first few months. Every year that goes by the more I realize I need to stop worrying about everyone else and focus on myself, my kids, and my family’s well-being above anything else. This is a competition many of us do not sign up for but then here we are.

Done with trying to be the best at everything pertaining to motherhood.

If there is one thing all of us moms can agree on is that we’re just trying to do the best we can for our families. Let’s be real for a second. My kids don’t always eat the best foods. Heck, in this season of life, I’m lucky if I can even get everyone to eat what I cook. Yes, we eat fast food sometimes. This is real life for us now.

No, my kids don’t have Pinterest birthdays, but heck I think when they think back they will remember how much fun they had with their buddies and not what kind of favors we gave out or what type of decorations were hanging.

Subjecting my kids to this same type of pressures

When my oldest was born it was a whirlwind. I felt like I was in a race against the clock. After hearing everyone’s stories of their children’s first I felt like my kid was behind.

Sleeping all night by three weeks…nope not us.

Crawling by four months…no

Walking by ten months…nah

Potty trained by two years old…I wish!

And this is only the first couple of years. It’s crazy how we try to identify our own kids by comparing them to others. Yes, doctors and teachers advise us that a specific milestone has to be met by a specific time. But let’s leave that for the doctors and other professionals to decide. If I see a video of someone’s kid reading by pre-K then heck that is awesome, but I’m going to stop feeling the pressures of other families’ successes to dim a light on my own. Why do our kids have to be pressured to be the first to do something or to do something the best?

Why can’t we just let them grow without subjecting them to our own insecurities? Won’t they be working through their own issues without having ours stacked on their plates as well?

They need to learn and grow at their own pace. They need to uncover their skills and talents just like everyone else. They will have skills that they will excel in while being just “ok” *gasp* in others. Yes, we should be there to support and encourage them along the way.

Kids can read us like books. They know all of our emotions. They can tell when we are happy, disappointed, or even stressed. We need to give our kids the best childhood that we can provide. Because this is our journey together. We need to treat each one of our kids as their own individual and show them that they are unique and special without trying to make them something that they aren’t. That they truly understand… that they are one in a million.

Related

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment

Name *

Email *

Website

Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email.

Gretchen Dauzat is a wife, mom to 4, entrepreneur, and writer. Her passion is to empower moms to realize, cultivate, and pursue their passions beyond motherhood. When not folding loads of laundry, you can find her having a dance party with her family or listening to a great audiobook.