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Friday, March 15, 2013

I have CDO. (That's OCD, only in the right order.)

Just something I've been working on.

I never know how to start these. I usually have a general idea of what I want to say, but where to start? Although I guess this is a start -of a sort- so here we go.The reason I have such a hard time starting blogs (not to mention finishing them) is that I'm at least mildly OCD. It's not something you'd notice right away if we'd just met, like you'd see with Tony Shalhoub in Monk, Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, or Bill Murray in What About Bob?

My OCD mostly manifests itself in perfectionism. If I'm tasked to do something, I like to plan it out in my head until I've thought out every detail to complete the task in the best most efficient "perfect" manor This includes thinking up everything that could go wrong and how to fix or avoid it. Obviously this isn't very practical; it's also highly stressful. Throw an internet mystery audience into the mix and you can see why I've whittled down countless ideas for blog posts into nothing. A cousin of perfectionism is my affinity for control. If I something can't happen perfectly, the least it could do is happen the way I want it to. But I realize the world doesn't work like that so I tend to have a very "all or nothing" approach to tasks. If I'm involved, I will to the best I can to complete it the best way it could possibly be done. If I'm not involved, or when I realize I won't be able to attain this most times impossible goal, I tend to just....fizzle...and put little to no effort into it. Why would I spend my time and effort on something sub-par?Again, this is not the way the whole world works, and I know this, and it's something I'm working on.

Crochet has been a wonderful coping mechanism. My work is always my own, and I can frog & re-do it as many times as I want until it is perfection. It's also a great way to distract me and use up a large part of worried thinking energy. Plus! I get to make lovely things to show the people around me how much I love them, even though I'm not always great at expressing it in other more common ways. That's why this blog is called "I love, Therefore I Craft." I crochet because I love, and creating is the only way I know to truly express it.