Bama’s New Weight Room Is Better Than Everyone Else’s

As if making everyone in the BCS their prison bitch for the last decade or so wasn’t enough, Alabama unleashed their latest big, veiny recruiting tool — a $9 million, 34,000-square foot weight room. Construction wrapped up in late January and it certainly does not disappoint. The weight room is not exclusively for football, though, as all Alabama student athletes will have access to it.

This thing is ridiculous. While I was at Mizzou, they unveiled their gigantic, multi-million dollar student rec center right before my freshman year and it was considered to be the Taj Mahal of rec centers in the country. This weight room makes my old rec center look like the gym at a Holiday Inn.

This is just another trump card for Nick Saban to play in the recruiting game, as if the deck wasn’t already stacked in the Tide’s favor. They are the premier sports program in the country, despite being awful in everything except football and track and field. That could very well change with the unveiling of yet another feather in Tuscaloosa’s cap.

I feel like you can’t even call this a weight room. Maybe weight cavern or weight bat cave might be a more appropriate term to describe this gigantic meat factory. Every team in the SEC has to be scared beyond their wits at the thought of Eddie Lacy and AJ McCarron having access to this kind of place all spring and summer.

“When people come to Alabama, they expect the best,” Saban said last summer after Alabama announced the strength and conditioning facility upgrades.

God, Saban just gave every rush chair in the country their closing line for rush this year.

Rush chair: “When people come to the Delta house, they expect the best.”

Alabama won national championships in softball, golf, and gymnastics so don’t say they are only good at football. Also, Eddie Lacy is going to the NFL draft, so its good to know you don’t know anything about college football either. Keep up the good research though bud.