Repo! The Super Genetic Opera

How could this happen. I said I would never be caught by surprise again. It’s here. the dreaded day of all days will shortly be upon us. A day with such complicated mix of reward and disgust, glee and regret, which I hesitate to even write it upon this page. It is called simply…COMIC-CON.
|
I can’t believe it; it feels like only yesterday that I nearly had my top ripped off by that crazy coked-out black guy at the last convention. Luckily my agent was able to keep that out of the press. Every once in a while he does something to remind me why I keep him around. Little did I know, that today would be no different. When I get a call from him reminding me of my impending fun he lets me know that we are being flown out in a private jet, slightly unorthodox but not unheard of. I mean usually they comp my room and a first class ticket for these things but not usually a private jet.
|
With this jet comes the perfect opportunity for us to get out of the city. With all the commotion going around that may start to point to certain members of these “Super friends” …”Super Acquaintances” Everyone is in on this idea, except Ali Baba, which is just fine with me, but Victor seems to have an idea for an additional member for the team. I feared another bizarre character to be added to our crew, but my imagination could not have prepared me for IT. It was some sort of sickly colored elk or something. My eyes could barely take in the entirety of what I was seeing. It chilled my bones the first time I heard it speak. It was some sort of shape changing creature. Which was a good, it would be fairly difficult to sneak an alien around. So the creature decides to pretend to be my pet dog. Well that should be fun.
|
Ali decides to give us all a ride to the airport, which was probably the worst idea anyone’s ever had. There was traffic, we got into an accident, we got pulled over, and I think I might have murdered a highway patrol officer. But the rest of the trip was fairly peaceful. I kicked back and relaxed as we flew to California. But it seemed like Alejandro kept looking at me, or perhaps I was just looking at him more. Shit, it’s been 3 months since I’ve been intimate with anyone. Looking at my current choices it’s no wonder Alejandro is starting to look good. The Alien is probably second in line if I had to bed someone.
|
Once on the ground again we meet up with my agent. And now is the time where it looks like everything’s coming up Melanie. He informs us that he has negotiated a contract for a “Portal Jumpers” movie. This is fantastic. Also could work as a great cover for our antics. So I work the negotiation to include some of my compatriots into the movie. This Comic-con will definitely be better than last year. We do a quick Q and A about the antics of Century City as well as the movie announcement, and all goes well. Then we get a call from the dealer he wants us to ferret out some more supers while we are on the west coast. I decide to lay low, but while at the bar Alejandro and Barney notice that the bartender has been using ice skills to chill the drinks. Once things start to escalate I excuse myself outside, not wanting to be tied to these events. It sucks being so recognizable ALLTHETIME. Sometimes it would be nice to have a perception filter device like episode #48 of Portal Jumpers.
|
That night we adjourn to the penthouse sweet and Kenny thinks I would really enjoy it if he brought some strippers over. And Barney is into it too. This is my room and I am not having it. After insisting several times that that they leave only to have it fall onto deaf ears. I decided to take a bit of a stronger approach. I pull Kenny aside and ask him point blank if he was going to obey me. He said no so in a flash I Portal his arse into the pool. Then I tell the whores to leave and lock the door. In a matter of minutes Kenny is back, soaking wet, pissed, and pleading. But he will not be getting in. Instead he takes his stuff and Barney to who knows where. That just left me, the alien and Alejandro alone in the penthouse. I invited Alejandro into my room, and let’s just say that we enjoyed some “quality time” together, But before the conclusion of our activities a stereo comes barreling through the wall and through the whole I see Barney, Kenny, The Whores, and…LeVar Burton‽ Really‽ After he tried to rip my top off last year, he goes and pulls a stunt like this‽
|
On the plane we are joined by LeVar, the bartender and some guy that Olivia dragged in. All stays quiet till we get to The Dealer’s place. Then in a blur powers are taken alarms are wailing. We are running. We’re driving, and then we see The Iron Enforcer flying towards the hideout. It seems inconspicuousness and secrets are something we desperately need.

Hello? HELLO?? Is this damn thing even on? Can you hear me? HELLO?! COUGH Uh… this is uh… Barney Rutherford, of the famous Rutherford family. If you are listening to this recording, that means I’m DEAD! No, I’m not really dead, just old. And if you are listening to this, that means that I finally got this damn thing to work – provided it wasn’t made by some China-kid or Mexican.

So that cutie Melanie Pipper has some hot shot (Mr. Ari Gold) from Tinsel Town giving her a bunch of free shit all the time I suppose. He told us that we could all fly out to San Diego for some convention called Commie-con. WHAT?! COMMIES?! I would have no such part in that red propaganda. Somehow they others convinced me to go anyway, so I figured I could at least knock a few heads together.

It was an eventful trip there. My “companions” ended up making some trouble with the law, which is fine by me because, you know, the Rutherfords don’t take kindly to the police, or anyone else for that matter. Long story short, we cracked a few skulls and finally ended up in California.

Now, on entering the convention center, I went straight into hunt mode. However, I was taken aback by how the commies dress these days. What a bunch of freaks. How can they expect anyone to take them seriously running around in capes and reading comic books? HA! I don’t know what’s wrong with this younger generation. I figured there’s no point in trying to talk so sense into them so after meandering about all day, picking my butt, I went to the bar for some drinks. After a few rounds, I started to watch the bartender. There was something not quite right about him. That’s was it! He was using powers to cool the drinks! That commie bastard was using powers right in the open… well I guess we were doing the same all these days, but not at a place of work where anyone could find him! I confronted the guy, and attempted to apprehend the suspect. His inferior skill was no match for mine! I held him there for 15 straight hours. FIFTEEN! The bastard was hard to break, but eventually I had to go relieve myself and he got away under the watch of Melanie and Alejandro de Ortega. I guess he agreed to go with us to the dealer, so it was all fine I suppose.

That night we went back to our hotel. I was ready already sick of this place, and I got to bed late, around 7 PM. But shortly after I fell asleep, I heard noises in the main room of our suite. It was Kenny Powerz with a bunch of hookers! Hot damn! Nothing like a beautiful broad to get this old man’s blood flowin’! There was booze, and smokes, and some funny negro guy next door. We partied all night, til about 10 PM when I fell asleep with a hooker on top of me.

I woke up the next day, and the negro man, who said his name was LeVar Burton said that he would come back to Century City with us. We were to meet that mutant bartender from the other night at the dealer’s place. We arrived at our destination only to find that he had ratted us and the dealer out to the Mutant Task Force! That commie bastard! I gave ‘em all the ol’ one-two, just like I did in ’Nam, end of story.

Now, my memory’s a little fuzzy mind you, so don’t take everything I say word-for-word, but it’s the truth! So long, shit lords! Barney Rutherford, out! Is it off now? Is it off now?? What’s that blinking light mean? Here, you take it before I shove my boot up your ass Olivia Khloasov, you filthy commie. Or I’ll make you look at naked pictures of Ali Babba Sihng!!! Uh, don’t ask why I have those.

Well here I am, my travels have taken me across the world but now here I am in America. For the first time! It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, no long lines in the market for potatoes. Let me speak for a moment about the Potatoes, these Idaho Potatoes are the most amazing potatoes ever. But the Vodka is shit.
As to why I am here, they returned and now I am on my own. And I need help, my contacts are useless in this part of the world and not all would be sympathetic to my plight in this country. Yet I have found a possible source of information, Victor, nice enough and always seems to make friends. He has mentioned a Dealer in the most powerful weapons, powers. This might be enough to stop them once and for all.
Tracking this Dealer down has been quite the ordeal, but more importantly the information I have learned is quite profound the government is rounding those people with powers up with their puppet the Iron Enforcer. It seems that the government might be trying to start registering supers like a simple gun. Oh the poor bastards have you not seen the ruins of my country from people like you. Well guess all people in power are the same, they just want more.
Once finding this Dealer I found I have been mislead the payment is higher than expected guess I must now owe a favor to this enigma of a man. He is the trusting sort which means he must have the power and means to do so, but what is his angle here if I am to combat against this returning evil I must now find what sort of people have I allied myself with. As for the team I am now assigned to I am the only one with any sort of training of any sort. There is a Latin man who seems to be a cook of some kind, have yet to make out his motivations in this thing. The former baseball star that is trying to build himself back into the light, useful motivation to exploit. The old American is a former arms dealer, though his weapons were shit we learned about them in training. The English television star is going to be the worst to use for she thinks that the world is still black and white. My personal favorite the psychotic cow all I need to do with him is point him in the right direction and tell him to smash. This will bring some interesting results, especially because I do not know what I am in debt for.

Our first job is to reclaim a man named Nick who has defaulted on his payments to the Dealer, his Dossier has a list of where he works, schools, and plays…I have found more dangerous men on less before. Given that his power is he can split himself his real self would be in a place he enjoys, the casino, so using my wits I determine that the best place for him to be is at the casino nearest his work and school. Upon arriving there my comrades decide to all go there separate way, and I decide to look and ask discreetly first at the craps table then the sports lounge and sure enough I find him in the sports lounge. While the others are gambling I proceed to escort him to the door, he then decides to take his chances with the family instead of us so he takes off towards the door. I miss when I go to grab him, but that is no worry I am faster than most olympic competitors. The commotion won’t cause any disturbances because a few of my comrades have decided to make fools of themselves and have the attention of the entire casino. That is until miss portal-jumper decides to open a portal underneath our feet. Now everyone knows something is up so I grab nick and throw him over my shoulder, there is no way we are getting out of this subtly. I run out and head to a place to lay low, a strip club up the road where I call a taxi. And who shows up, the psychotic cow as my taxi driver.

When we arrive at the Dealer’s I try and convince him to give up his other parts so he will not be harmed permanently but Miss Portal-Jumper decides that the Dealer is automatically on our side rather than figuring out the truthso she brings him in, tearing his hair out from my hands.

At this point I realize that I am in desperate need of some tactical gear and Victor is the one that knows everyone, so when Miss Portal-Jumper decides she wants weapons too, I let her know to include me in the meet. So I go to help Psychotic Cow and Baseballman with a grudge with some old lady, but it is ok I won’t let them actually hurt her, when we all receive a text Victor is stuck in a bank heist. I know we must help, a favor for a favor, so we arrive at the downtown bank where it is eerily quiet. Psychotic Cow gets the bright idea to make an bystander go through first setting of the trap the robbers had set, alerting them all to our presence. So I have Grumps transform a hole in the wall so we see into the bank, I slide in guns drawn when I realize I am not wearing body armor but this is more fun than I have had in awhile. I slide into a face full of smg bullets, now I have been shot before but this didn’t hurt a bit, maybe a little tingling. Miss Portal Jumper opens a portal up into the bank letting everyone in, then proceeds to drop one of the men behind me 300ft in the air, sadistic I think I am a little wet because of that. I then grab the buy in front of me and throw him backwards into the portal, that’s two.
The others are a little more difficult and they like to shoot at me, but it must be my lucky day cause they never hurt me. Once I reach them I realize I have been shot, many times, and it does nothing to me. The other robbers are incapacitated quickly. I chase after the others that escaped with the money but they got away. I however have procured the beginings of a weapons cache. Not a bad day, especially because Victor does tell me of a way to get the items I need, the Czechnian Mafia I even know someone there who might owe me a favor or maybe I owe hime one. Ah who knows but this much is true the Dealer has turned me into a force and I will come down upon them like a Blizzard from Siberia.

Mel's private Blog entry 1

What has Victor gotten me into now? Victor’s usually pretty reliable if not a bit shallow and pedantic. After all it was Victor who had tipped me off on that small gig as the Baroness in the short-lived daytime gothic fantasy epic on the telly, “It’s Good to Be Evil” after I couldn’t get any work due to being “The hot chav from Portal Jumpers”. And Victor had never knowingly thrown me astray. But I have to admit, being in that dark alley in front of a conspicuous door with such an odd assortment of characters, it does make me doubt him. I snuck a glance at the other people there hoping none of them would recognize me. This is the last thing I need. This dealer better be able to help me as much as Victor had alluded. Once inside we are “greeted” that is to say, we were asked to leave our weapons in the lockers on the side of the lobby. My immediate thought was “Weapons? Why would we have weapons? Does he honestly expect that average people would just be carrying arou…” Then out come a couple guns and a tire iron. Maybe we ARE gonna need weapons. I guess I could grab my fencing foil to defend myself, although I doubt it will block bullets if it came down to it. What the hell am I doing here‽

-
When we enter the office there the dealer is sitting behind his desk, but there’s not much else in this warehouse. Obviously people don’t come here for the ambiance. The dealer asks all of us to get settled and asks us a few questions about us, I sit back and listen and learn much about the others there. We have two typical Americans, One a foul-mouthed yokel obsessed with his self image as ace instead of arse, and a barmy blinkered old man who does not waste time in insisting his superiority for the simple fact that he is American. There is an Indian man who is simply a horror to be around. Then there’s a Russian, or possibly a Czech, I’m not quite sure her accent seems to slip around a bit and she makes it hard to talk to her because she keeps looking at me oddly. Then at least there is a normal looking, and normal behaving Latin gent. At least one member I can be comfortable working with.
-
When it came my turn to share my story I try to share little, since I fear where this may eventually lead. Sadly all it took was admitting to being an actress from the telly. And the flood gates of realization opened with the soft sound of “da dat da dat da da.. Portal Jumpers!” Damn that theme song. Well after all our introductions he takes us by the hand and gifts each of us. I was so glad to be able to do something different with my life or at least give myself an edge, something to be able to distance myself from “Dr. Shirley”. Portals‽ Really‽ Damn, that’s just my luck. I’m never gonna live this down. I’m totally gutted.
-
We find out that there is a cost for our abilities. The cost is favors. We have to help The Dealer recapture some men who are behind on their payments for their powers. The first on our list is a chap that goes by the name Nick. Knowing that he goes to school, has a job, and likes to gamble, coupled with the fact that he posses the ability to be in more than one place at a time, we decide that he is most likely to be at a gambling establishment. Soon after entering our group quickly splits. Most of the group seems to have forgotten our greater goal and opt to try their hand at making some money. I however don’t really wish to be in this place any longer than I have to. I don’t notice anything for quite a while. I decide to follow Alejandro he seems to have his head on his shoulders. But it isn’t long before the others start quite a commotion. Kenny is raking in the money at the roulette tables. Ali, in his cow form is taking a crap on the table. But it seems Olivia’s commotion that she is starting is actually partially useful. She has located our target, but decides that the most inconspicuous way of apprehending him is to wrestle him to the ground. Oh the lack of subtlety in this group is astounding.
-
Well it would be the very least I could do to assist Olivia in getting Nick out the door. So I nonchalantly summon a portal for the two of them to fall through to get them closer to the door. My gift works like a charm, naturally. But it does draw a bit of attention making an obvious presence of a super in the area. But being the trained actress that I am, I quickly act dumb and start to freak out at the sudden presence of a gaping hole into nothingness and run towards the door. I hop back into my olive green ’89 jaguar and wait for the others to get in before returning to the dealer.
-
Olivia’s already there with Nick and the group proceeds to try to decide what to do with him. They talk and talk and talk and talk. Nick has quite an attitude on him and I won’t have any of it. Screw consensus. I knocked on the door anyways. We’re turning this guy in now. I want to be done with this nonsense now. We make quick work of turning him in. and his punishment is a gruesome one. I must remember never to cross the dealer. After reporting our activities the dealer dismisses us until he gives us our next assignment.
-
It has become apparent to me that I am entirely under equipped. Victor might be able to help me out on this one. A quick call to victor yields some unexpected results. Not only is Victor unable to help me at the present moment, but he is currently inside a bank that is being robbed. Others aren’t really as keen to put themselves in harm’s way. But I’m ready to do what is necessary. Eventually the other man up and find their bullocks. We get to the bank but notice that it is unusually quiet. The least intelligent of our group decides that it would be best to shove an innocent pedestrian into the bank. This sets off a smoke trap that incapacitates the man. Not a great start. We decide to make our way to the side of the bank. And before I can make a portal, Barney melts a hole in the wall. Less elegant than I’d prefer, but it’s still quite useful. Olivia charges headfirst into the action and immediately gets gunned down. Again, the bulk of the group is far from subtle. While the rest of the group gets blown to kingdom come. I don’t get a scratch on me while I pick off the enemy as easily as if it were just another scene from “Portal Jumpers”. I simply teleport them 300 feet into the air and let them drop. After the immediate threat was disposed, I portaled Olivia onto the roof to possibly track down the rest of the group.
-
It is clear from these two recent events that our group is starting to faction. We have members that are greedy beyond measure, that are willing to harm the innocent in order to make a quick dollar. We have other members who care nothing about staying to the shadows that will proudly parade down the street with their powers on display for all to see. I must not let them drag me down. I decide to continue on my original path to see if Victor can aid me in finding some quality blades. To my great surprise he gives me three. Three of the most amazing swords I had ever seen. But he warns me that they belong to a great hero that will punish me greatly, if I ever lose them. I quickly teleport the swords into the locked trunk of my ‘89 jag before the darker members of our group arrive.
-
Acting Auditions/Gigs/Callbacks/Interviews/Etc this week from my agent: None