The ideal hipster date should include the following: darkness, an ambiguous start time, substances, and a flask. You can thank the brains behind the blog (and now book) Stuff Hipsters Hate for the sweeping generalizations and somewhat sarcastic tips, which were given at “An Evening with Stuff Hipsters Hate,” one of the first events of Northwestern’s Sex Week 2011.

Authors Andrea Bartz and Brenna Ehrlich — the 2008 Medill graduates behind the blog — enlightened the assembled audience on the dating and mating rituals of hipsters, based on their experiences and observations in the hipster hub of Brooklyn, NY.

“We noticed these patterns in guys we were dating, these ridiculous and hurtful things,” Ehrlich said. “One characteristic united these hipsters: an ennui about life to like anything! Everything had to be hated on. It was a cocktail of apathy and anguish.”

“I think people who are interested in learning about hipsters, people who really like great satire about our generation, and people interested in learning about successful Medill alums would all be interested in this event,” Scherker said. “I think a lot of our other events are more political, more niche, and more risqué.”

The former Northwestern students had plenty to say about the sexual tendencies of hipsters.

“Hipsters are all late bloomers. They aren’t confident in their sexual prowess,” Ehrlich said. “You will lunge at them first.”

The duo laid out what the audience should expect from a hipster hookup. Anticipate “shitshow” apartments, inaccurate timepieces, absence of a real bed, and rooms without doors or blinds, they said.

“They will make no attempt to undress you, but they will voluntarily undress themselves,” Bartz said. “This is due to the tightness of their own clothes.”

Sarcasm aside, hipster tendencies transcend hipster culture, they said. Sociologically, some of their dating patterns are very much present in the courtship of “normal” people.

“An inability to commit and fear of showing that you actually care are some characteristics that appeal to others outside the hipster community,” Ehrlich said. “People don’t feel that they need to be in relationships.”

Continue to hate on hipsters, but we can learn from them too, Scherker says.

“The hipster is really emblematic of our generation in that I think all of us are really obsessed with individuality, and the hipster sort of takes that to another level,” she said. “And I think that hipster sex and dating and culture isn’t really limited to them.”