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Think about your morning. Did you stretch out of bed or did you stumble after your phone alarm sang, “Everything is Awesome,” and fell on the floor? Did you shower and eat breakfast or can’t remember if you shampooed or chewed? Did you pray to your gas tank to get you to work because you’re riding on empty and you left your wallet at home with your phone? And now you are without funds or the ability to “phone a friend” in an emergency, or play Candy Crush?

If you took a moment, let’s say a few minutes. If you slowed down your pace and became more mindful and more conscious what would your day look like?

If you weren’t stumbling and rushing out of bed, is it possible that you would wake up more refreshed than shooting up cortisol levels like a junkie putting yourself into a panicked state? If you gave yourself the time to shower and wake up to the sensations of rushing water and ate a breakfast that you could taste and experience, would you be able to communicate to your subconscious mind know “we are good to go and experience the day”?

Now, think about the things you want to experience in this lifetime. More time. Better health, a better job, car, home. A relationship with someone you can spend your time and life with even if it’s a Candy Crush one. Fill in the proverbial blank.

Every moment, the Universe is trying to get your attention. It’s your BFF that’s trying to help you along your path. The path that you desire. The path that is your own truth. But if you are scrambling from one moment to another while trying to beat the clock, ride on fumes, inhale instead of eat, all while spending hours that turn into days of playing games, ranting on social media of how you are just trying to get through the day then you can’t hear your BFF who is screaming at you. All the time. Everyday. For the rest of your life.

You won’t notice that email that tells you to stop working on a project, or won’t discover that there is a job posting available that’s your dream job. You won’t connect that every time you eat wheat, you become bloated due to gluten intolerance.

You won’t make that connection with that fabulous looking person who is looking your way because you are trying to “get another life” in the Candy Crush Universe instead of yours.

When I work with my clients, the first thing we do is SLOW *&%@#*& DOWN. Pardon my strong characters, but it’s that important! Next, we evaluate what area they need to shift their focus and hold their attention. This is my favorite part. It’s great to see their “aha” moment when they realize they are spending not enough time or in some cases, no time on their truest desires. They say they have no time but by slowing down and breaking down their day and habits, there is more time that they can allot. By being mindful of what they desire and slowing down they can finally see the nudges of encouragement and support from the Universe. They do get a sense of amazement, closer to their desires, peace, and in essence, “another life” that is so much slower and sweeter than Candy Crush.

Where do you need to slow down to have a life that is more aligned to your desires and your soul’s purpose? Now go get it. Slowly. Namaste.

That voice. That damn voice. The one you hear softly or sometimes loudly that you muffle with the internet, television, or try to drown out with a peanut butter chocolate donut. That voice that reminds you: “You don’t want to work out because you are tired. And you look tired. There is no one for you out there to date even with the 7 billion + people on the planet. So don’t try to find love online because it’s embarrassing. You better stay with this job because the benefits aren’t great, but it’s better than nothing. You’re just going to be fat. You’re just going to be poor. You can’t try again; it doesn’t work. That’s what happens when you are old. Dude, you’re old. It’s not going to get better. You have no more lives in Candy Crush…”

Isn’t interesting how that little voice in your head has seemed to perfect the production of limiting beliefs? Limiting beliefs can come from a myriad of past experiences or fears and over time, they can grow deep roots into your being. On a conscious level, you may be aware of the voice and all its trash talk and just go with it because that’s what you habitually do. Or you may not be aware of it at all, but throughout your day, things feel harder, more annoying, or more depressing. And all you notice is that you are really, really tired and all the Monster energy drinks, Walking Dead shows, and Candy Crush can’t move you, and so you just crawl in your box and listen to the voice tell you about more bad or horrific things coming to get you. Or how you should waddle to the kitchen to grab one donut to bring back to your box because, “well, you know the drill…things are crappy, and so are you”.

But what if…

But what if you DIDN’T have to live the rest of your life this way? What if it only took the smallest amount of effort? Would you do it? What if I bribed you with a donut? Okay, okay let’s just break it down together in 4 teenie-tiny steps.

1. KNOW

The first step is to identify how you are limiting yourself through your thoughts.

Take a small amount of quiet time and write down at least 1 limiting belief that you habitually encounter in thought. For example, you may have always had the desire to start your own business, but perhaps your inner critic always tells you, “It’s too much of a hassle. It’s hard, and you’re not that smart. Remember your grades in algebra?”Write it down. Seriously. Get a pencil and write: My inner critic says (or lies) that I don’t have what it takes to run a business. By writing it down, you can experience it in a different setting and sometimes see the insanity of what you took as a truth and have been living with for a long time. Too long.

2. FLOW

The second step is to get into the flow of your imagination. What has the so-called limited belief from your inner critic cost you in your life? If your critic said you’re not business savvy, what has this caused you to do or not do in your life? Did it always cause you to feel less than? Did you cause you not to pursue your dream further? Do you now give up easily? It’s dire that you understand that you must release this habitual thought so you can make room for new ones. After a little contemplation, document your thoughts. You could write down “By keeping this old decrepit belief of ___________________, I am losing_____________.” Lay it on thick because you want to create the greatest distance from this old dysfunctional belief.

3. GROW

Okay, now you know your limited thoughts. You know what it costs you negatively in your life to have this perpetual thought in your being. Now, here’s the fun. Determine and decide what you’d REALLY rather be, feel, or do. So if you do want your own business, you would again write it down. Use the power of words. Create an epic new statement such as: “With a new belief of I am capable and can run my own business of expensive salty-sweet desserts, and I would feel like I’m creative in my culinary endeavors and I could create my app where people could add their own toppings virtually!

4. GO

The last step is to go. This means to go forth in the direction that you desire with your new and improved belief or set of beliefs. By having created and written down your new thoughts and intentions, you have now given yourself the power and permission to move or take action in a new way. Now, go in that direction. Constantlyand every day. Keep moving in that direction until the statement becomes the belief from the voice that you can finally trust. This could be by visiting businesses you would like to model or look for business courses online or simply by making it your mission to find the city’s best donut and see how you could do it better.

And remember, you can take as little or as big of a step as you can handle. By the yard, it’s hard, and by the inch, it’s a cinch to feel and experience the breakthrough. Now go forth and be brave and get me a donut. Sweet Namaste.

Eleanor Roosevelt has said, “Friendship with oneself is all-important because, without it, one cannot be friends with anybody else in the world.” She set the standard of what kind of mindset and heart set are vital to connect with the world.

“What’s the big deal?” you might ask if you Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, email, text, and play Words with Friends. While these are indeed one level of connection that should be included in your social network, it is important to have physical close proximities and relationships with people to reap the amazing benefits of having a connection with another human being. You can experience such things as a lower rate of depression, anxiety, have a stronger immune system, recover from disease faster and live a longer life. While all these things have been researched and discovered, there is still an epidemic of people who interact with hundreds of people online, but still feel extremely lonely due to have a loss of genuine connection. Here are three ways to flex your connection muscle.

Be Real.

First, when interacting with other people or potential friends IN PERSON, your true self-needs to show up. We are all given the gift of intuition or “that gut feeling, ” and most people can tell when someone is chumming them up and is not genuine. By letting your guard down and letting your “True Colors Shine” (cue Cyndi Lauper), others will automatically do the same, and an actual connection will ignite.

Be Attentive.

When you are in the presence of another human being, it’s customary to pay attention to them. Pay crazy attention. Not like a stalker mind you, but be focused on them as opposed to the buzzing or ringing in your pocket or purse. No one likes to play second to an iPhone. No one. Especially your closest friends. They may say that they don’t care that you are texting, but they lie. THEY DO CARE. Take note. And by paying attention to the person you are interacting with, you create a stronger deeper bond with them. And in return, they become supportive of you. You need them, and they need you.

Be Helpful.

It is the core of our human nature to love and to be helpful. Sometimes it’s easy to get distracted when someone cuts us off, or we are having a bad day, and we continue to carry that pain and irritation with us. The best way to move through these sensations is to be helpful to someone else. By applying these three things on a daily basis, it will become a habit, and your connection with others will increase. This is why when you think of someone special in your life that you haven’t thought about in years and then they contact you the following day -it’s almost like you were practicing long distance telepathy. This is because your bond with them is very strong and you “super connect” on a higher intuitive level. By building these connections over time and throughout your life, you build a community of lifelines and love.

When times get dark, and you do need to reach out to someone, these lifelines will always be your super connections not just to “tag you,” but to see you, support you, love you, and bear witness to your journey while you’re with them on Earth. Reach out and connect. Someone is waiting for you. Namaste.

What one thing could you do today to super connect tosomeonenew or old? Okay, now do it. Texting Cyndi Lauper doesn’t count.

Trying to make sense of life’s lessons? Your teacher is under your nose.

Failed relationships. Not being able to stick with the program. Eating the greasy, salty chips anyway. Old and sick pets. Old and sick people. Running out of time. Not enough of anything. Tired. Of. It. All.

This is life. This is your life.

Take a look what is around you at this moment? What do you see? Is it a stack of magazines and leftovers? Are you surrounded by to-do lists and undone laundry? Or are you surrounded by pictures of things, or family you love? Everything around is designed in its own way to teach us awareness. From the sunshine that is coming in outside to the dying plant in the corner, all things can help guide us to what we need in the present moment. We can learn from anything and anywhere. Truly.

You may say, What?!! I’m completely overloaded already. How can I take in what a bag of Fritos is trying to say to me? Fret not. This innate wisdom is the amazing gift of being human. And the answers to your life lessons can be found from the teachers that appear right under your nose. Yes, it’s true we do have many things vying for our attention at all times. Your quest is to discover the ones that feel right in your gut, in your intuition, or in your soul’s alignment.

The chips in front of your face may be teaching you that you need to take more time for yourself. The plant that’s dying in the corner is a reminder that you too need sun and water to flourish. Your elderly dog with the light fading from his eyes is teaching you to love now because there may be no tomorrow.

If you approach life and the people and experiences that come into your pathway with a sense of wonder, mysteries can be unlocked every day. Just remember to bring patience and humility to this task. So if you ever catch yourself feeling overwhelmed, feeling lost, or in the dark, never fear, just look around at this moment for who or what is trying to teach you, to guide you or to simply love you. Namaste.

Change. Change. Change. Every day, I am blessed to work with people who want better for themselves in this lifetime. It takes on many forms such as relationships, jobs, financial security, business relations, to find their soul’s purpose or to simply fit in a smaller pair of stretch pants.

This is great. We are always in a state of change. This is our nature. Like a plant, if we are not growing, we are dying. But there is a secret to getting what you believe you desire and enjoying the process along the way. The secret is to practice “uncommon appreciation.” (Cue the universal eye roll).

Hang on to your stretch pants for a moment. Think about how you navigate in the world for a minute. Do you long for meaningful relationships whether in business or your personal life but flip off people on the highway? Are you constantly judging people on how they dress, drive, act and make it a sport? Do you call out on social media of how wrong people are? Did you rip one to the poor soul who is a telephone customer service rep in Manila because “You’re the customer, damn it”? Did you even look the person who was serving you today your groceries or coffee and say, “Thank you”?

We have all done it at one time or another. It happens. We are human. But if we want to be beings who are living to our highest potential, we have to live and raise our vibrational level to a higher state. This state is appreciation. To boost this level for maximized effect, practice uncommon appreciation. Simply be grateful. For everything. For everyone. By making this a daily practice, you start the cycle of success. Your appreciation leads to gratitude; your gratitude leads to abundance. With abundance comes generosity towards others. This abundance can come in several forms at once such as financial opportunities, connection, or adventures.

If you take a moment to reflect, think about the last time you gave someone something. It could have come in the form of money, helpful advice, or a prayer. Remember how that person felt and in return, how you felt. The sensation should feel like an expansion of yourself. It’s better than a beer buzz. When you are in this state, then you are elevating yourself to the possibilities to be more and to give more. You expand on a universal level and spiritual level. Business meetings go smoother; it’s easier for you to find your purpose in life or love, and to shop for smaller stretch pants. Thank you. I appreciate you. Truly. Now, be successful. Namaste.

Most people want their dream job, their soulmate, to live with passion, to be happy in the present moment. Who doesn’t? When I ask them what that job, soulmate, or desire look like, many times I get a look of confusion and a face as if I asked them if they have syphilis.

But when I ask them what they don’t want they can give me a list that is miles and miles long. These just a few real comments that I have heard…

I hate jobs that I have to work with the public. I hate jobs where people are telling me what to do all the time. I hate men who don’t pick up after themselves or can’t talk about their feelings. I hate men who dress like a trucker. I hate women who are so selfish. I hate women who don’t take care of themselves. I hate people who wear socks and slippers when shopping. I hate people who ride up on my ass in traffic or at grocery stores. I hate boring or late people. I hate being bored. I hate worrying. I hate not sleeping. I hate worrying about how to pay for my… (fill in the blank), I hate bratty children in public. I hate…

This state of being is what I call “Judgment Road.” It’s the quick road to nowhere.

It is common for us to make judgments about things in our lives. Each day we are bombarded with an unfathomable amount of information, and our brain is trying to categorize it for us. Is this good? Is this bad? Will this kill me? How many calories is it? Will I pay for this later? We are hardwired for this for survival. The key word is here is survival.

But when it comes to manifesting your blessings and desires, it’s necessary to put the brakes on a judgment. When you are in a non-judgmental state, you open up to many things. Your thinking is freed up, and you are not filling your mind with endless chatter that creates stress about how things or people should be. You are more in tune to your needs and can address them. You are more present and less distracted when you are in the presence of another. You can actually “see” them, and they can see you. You make a better connection. You can discover intuitively better options and clarity for your life. Things feel clearer, lighter, and more like love.

Try this today. When you start to encounter your day, notice when you start labeling and judging from the get go. When you catch yourself doing this, don’t beat yourself up and judge yourself either. Just acknowledge it and remind yourself that you don’t need these thoughts or roadblocks in this moment of your life.

Mother Teresa embodied this when she said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” She was on the fast track to love.

So today, be kind to yourself, put the brakes on judgment and look at your wide-open road of possibilities and big love. Namaste.

Ask yourself a question. Who is the single most person you interact with each day? Who do you call, text, FB, Twitter, Skype, or follow? After you have gone through your short list of celebrity and real BFFs, close friends, family, fringe friends, who is left? The person you are going to spend the most time with on this planet is simply you.

Whether conscious or not, you are asking yourself at least hundreds of questions if not more in a day. Do any of the following sound remotely familiar?

Why am I always tired? Why did I eat that? Why do I always get behind people like this in line? Why are people so stupid? Why am I so stupid? Why isn’t there any money in my bank account? Why do things like this always happen to me? Why do I fall in love with the same person? Why do I put up with this? Why don’t things happen the way I want it? Why don’t I ever listen to my gut? Why do my kids/pets always do this?

If any of the statements feel uncomfortable but familiar, that’s fantastic! This sensation means you are not alone on this planet in how you talk to yourself. However, if questions are going to to be a part of your life, here’s how to get the most bang per your buck, or in this case question.

Reframe your question so that it serves you and moves you in the direction you want to go in or at least lean into. To do this, slow down to be mindful and intentional. By slowing down, you create the shift that you need, and you are NOT living life as a reaction or your mind’s reaction. “But what does that sound like or look like?”. This is a better question.

For example, you might ask, “Why am I always tired?”. Try, “What can I do to bring more energy into my life now and enjoy the process?”. This question doesn’t focus on the problem. It focuses on more of more of what you need and less of what you don’t need. You can use this new perspective or shift for any questions. Instead of, “ Why isn’t there any money in my bank account?” to ” What could I do right now to either save or create more streams of income?” Now you may not get the perfect and complete answer right away, but it will help you in the process of your desired outcome. If you ask, “Why do I always get involved with toxic people,” you may want to ask, “How can I find and spend time with people who will love and energize me?” You keep asking the question until you get your desired result. This shift may feel a little awkward at first, like your first kiss. But down the line, it became worth it, right?

Same thing. Now, isn’t this worth trying because it’s your life and you are worth it? You already know the answer. Namaste.

With a shift of intention, what better question should you ask yourself today to get the life experience you want?

Fear. Just saying or reading the mere word of “fear” can leave us with a feeling of uncertainty and unease. We face fear in hundreds of little ways each day as we think or ask ourselves series of questions. Will I be okay? Will she be okay? Will she make it today? Am I safe? Is my job safe? Does he still love me? Will she still love me after this? Do I have enough gas? Do I have enough money? Does anything even matter? Is there physically something wrong with me? Is the cancer back? Is he drinking again? Can I get through this? Our day-to-day challenge is how to be satisfied and grateful for the day when all we have is this never-ending sensation of doom and despair. Here are three steps to being fearless. Hang on to your superhero cape.

Step 1: Acknowledge the fear and the sensation that goes with it.

If you don’t accept your fear, it will manifest you in your denial through other activities that don’t serve you such as eating, drinking, spending or any other distraction. These are temporary fixes, and the fear will grow like a weed without attention. By stopping for a moment and being present and recognizing in your mind or out loud the fear and where you are feeling the uncomfortable sensation in your body, you begin to lesson the vice grip hold it has on you. You may not have your all the answers you need, but by moving in this direction, you will feel a lifting.

Step 2: Remember when you were brave.

Fear is like most things in our lives, it comes and goes. So when it shows up again, it is imperative to remember all the other times in your lifetime where you were brave and made the better decisions, took actions that helped instead of hurt, and loved despite all odds. You have gone through tough times. You are still here. You are still brave. You still matter. You are bigger than this.

Step 3: Be present, chunk it down and take action.

If you do these two steps and are still feeling the squeeze, it is important to be mindful of this present moment and discover the gratitude that you are here and alive. If you don’t know what next steps to take, then take the smallest, even tiniest in the direction that you want to lean into. This motion of action will help your focus on possibilities, potential, and healing. In these fast-paced times, we can all feel like we live in a whirlwind of fear. Sometimes the best things we can do is, “be still” and breathe. And by embracing the gratitude of being here on this Earth at this time, we can feel the wind underneath our capes. Namaste.

The great thing about being alive today is there are an infinite amount of ways to live, thrive and contribute. Your life is a creative expression in action. How you create, this is up to you.

To be a success in life, you must focus on what you want, and know why you want it. The real work and manifestation of your desires and goals are in paying the price.

Whether your goal is to change jobs, move to a new city, start your own business, train for a marathon or find your soulmate, it is essential to put forth the effort and focus. Every day. And again. For an uncertain amount of time and even if it causes uneasiness, exhaustion, and fear.

Paying the price isn’t always easy and can be very challenging. It’s designed to be this way for a higher purpose for you to become the more evolved and fantastic you.

Every time you desire something new in your life, the universe provides you with the opportunity to rise to this challenge. You must be willing to make the changes to do what it takes to become this newer being.

In other words, you have to pay the price for this new experience. In our very fast paced life, results are expected and successful ones at that on a daily basis. However, the universe responds to what we need for growth, not by how fast we need it.

With this in mind, be willing to take the steps, quickly or slowly, whether they are easy or insanely impossible, to attain your goals and desires. This includes practicing every day by moving in the direction toward your desire. And remember sometimes setbacks are necessary to correct our course on our path when paying the price.

By being mindful of what you desire, and putting forth the effort and attention in that area, you build momentum. Tons of it. It will be this momentum that will carry you through all the stages toward your goal – the thrill and fantasy of dreaming up what you want, going through the awkward phase of trying to figure out how to get there, and then finally recognizing what the price is for having what you want.

There may be a point where you finally realize what this price requires from you in terms of time and effort and trade-offs, and you need to decide if it’s worth it.

This is where being mindful and using your intuition is of great use. Yes, there will be times of doubt, but only you will know if you should keep going and if you will continue to pay the price to reach your dreams.

Anything worth having in this lifetime isn’t easy by design. You’re desires and goals are meant to stretch you and transform you to a newer (more enlightened) you. As you go through this process, you can check in with yourself and feel the sensations of openness (lightness) or tightness. These physical sensations will guide you whether you are on the right course or if you need to redirect your energies elsewhere. If you do feel you are right on track, then keep going and pay the price until you manifest what you want and then you can work on your next adventure of soul growth. And then start paying the price again.

We rush. We rush from bed to coffee. Coffee to the door. Door to car. Then we are off to another busy day of busyness. There is no taste from the food that nourishes us. Our work fills the time clock. Our conversations with others become an afterthought. We are caught in the doing, and thinking ahead. We are ahead. We are too much in our heads. We come home full of thoughts and things to do. We are worried, angry, fearful that we didn’t get enough done, and that there is still to a lot to be done… we are running out of time. And then we jump on the computer, phone, or television to use up as much time as we can to avoid the unpleasantness of simply being still.

How do we slow down? How do we get it all done? How do we become more with doing less?

We simply take a few steps to bring mindfulness to it. Find a seat. Sit a spell. And breathe.

Step One: Think of all the activities, communications and work you have to do or believe you have to do. Experience the constrictive feeling in your body. Where does it feel uncomfortable? Where does it feel tight? Feel it squeezing you until there is no more air.

Okay, breathe.

Step Two: Take a few deep breaths and look at your hands and clasp them together. Notice how far they have brought you into the world and through all your experiences.

Acknowledge that today is the only day you know you have at this moment.

Breathe again.

Step Three: Now, open your hands up, palms up, gently and slowly. Visualize what kind of day you would choose to have if this were your last. Next, as you go through your day, be intentional and let go of anything that doesn’t provide you with abundance, joy, love, and peace. If you catch yourself rushing again, be kind and look down at your hands again. Then hang on to the things that mean everything at this moment. Breathe and feel the gratitude that you are still breathing today. Peace to you.

Kim Flores is a compassionate and gifted intuitive counselor. She can assist you to find clarity in all aspects of your life, and provides insight into your personal power—enabling you to create a more satisfying and purpose-filled life now.