She addressed a shocked and stunned audience of either
has-been wannabes or wannabe has-beens. I forget which.

"CNN has just learned that the world does not exist,"
Lewinsky told Circuitous Council members, once they'd
recovered from the initial shock of learning that Wolf
Blitzer.

"Since the world does not exist," she went on, "I am,
today, announcing the formation of the Monica Lewinsky
Foundation for Changing the Name of the USA Network to
the All-Beaver Network, and I Don't Mean Leave It To."

Before she could say more, however, anxious reporters
rushed from the room to report the news to a
non-existing world of people who, by definition, didn't
exist either.

"Money is not really, or at all, [the fuck] about
money." she told the remaining members, after a
10-minute recess. "It's just the best measure of the
absence of anything real. When it reaches a certain
level, the world ceases to exist -- retroactively for
all time, so it never existed at all."

However, sources close to rebel girl-girl figure skating
pairs whose study of nasal dominance cycles was
published last month in the New England Journal of
Medicine Cabinet Cleanup Strategies, claim that ....
No, they don't really claim anything.

See, they had started this management consulting firm
for high-powered execs who hadn't quite been able to go
that extra mile or inch or whatever. Their motto was,
"You already know how to bullshit everybody else -- all
you need now is to learn how to bullshit
yourself."

They claimed they could teach people how to bullshit
themselves into happiness and success. Bullshit was
like a rocket engine. It could take you to the stars.

Later, however, during the Q and A session, Monica
admitted that, though winning the Olympic gold medal for
clowning around at autopsies had been a thrill, she was
still a little let down, because, really, she'd much
rather have won the gold medal for synthesizing
religion, psychology, and information processing with a
stream of bogus new "technologies" that nobody wants,
into an all-new religion of the future, that everybody
wants.

Then Lewinsky ended her Circuitous Council
semen-splattered address by threatening to bomb the
living fuck out of the US if they didn't immediately get
rid of all their own weapons of mass destruction
-- you know: advertising and stupidity.