You love LAMP

Hatched by two crafty Florida dudes -- a RISD-grad furniture designer and his biz-minded bud -- who were sick of the corporate world, LAMP's a new venture that ensures you live a life of "laid-back luxury" by hand-piecing together kick-ass furniture that locally sources some of its lumber from the aftermath of natural disasters, which's why they say "hurricane season is great for us", so obviously they’re not UM fans. Some stand-outs:

The Cambridge Console: This 90in-wide guy is mostly maple, but's also coated in a shiny pigmented lacquer, and has a decidedly unique blue/white tie running down its center, with two big round handles doubling as collar buttons, which cops created after seeing those Staples commercials in an attempt to magically arrest people, leading to the undeniably catchy slogan “That wasn't that easy at all, in fact it was highly complicated, but all in all, it was still pretty cool!”.

Wood & Ponies: This impressively rustic dining table tosses a huge slab of lacquered Chinese elm on sawhorse-like legs made from patina’d steel and exotic South America-imported Purple Heart wood, which’s what you’ll call your own after a night with that hurricane of a frontwoman Nancy Wilson.