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Adding Another Baby to the Mix… And Baby Makes 4..5..6…+

Having a family is like a juggling act – so many balls to keep in the air! Sometimes we drop the balls, but we can always pick them up again… How do we help siblings? How do we ‘fill their cup’? How do we stay balanced ourselves?

Let’s look at some ideas that we can consider on those ‘survival days’ (as the happy days take care of themselves). Some thoughts for mum, some for mum + baby, some thoughts for siblings:

Green Hour - a time outside to potter in nature...

– Cuddles and Snuggles: Touch is a great way to fill their emotional cup, as always. Keep touching, snuggling and caressing! Constantly tell them how special they are. Your heart has just doubled in size with another baby! Nothing less for them…just remind them all the time.

– The Power of Eye Contact: Although you have a new baby to care for, your eyes are free – make an extra effort to give eye contact when talking to baby’s siblings. They reach the soul and the care of eye contact helps fill their cup!

– Say Yes! No, you can’t do that right now, the baby needs a feed, a change, to sleep. But frame it as a yes! “Yes, we can play in a few minutes.” “Yes, I can get you a snack once I’ve finished making milk for the baby.” (Avoid naming the baby as the reason for your delays). Think of this as ‘patience practice’ for your little one. A few minutes at a time. Sing a song or make one up to the tune of ‘frere jacques’.

Blocks are great, but BOXES are COOL!

– Prime Them for Change: Prime your little one for what is happening next, how you want them to behave. It helps them to adjust and act well. They are primed for the change!

– Daddy Time: What if Daddy takes baby for some bonding time for a special time each evening? What if daddy takes siblings for a special trip to Granny’s or a snack every Saturday morning?

– Find Variety in Your Daily Rhythm: We have patterns to our days, brekkie, lunch and dinner being the main ones. Snacks fit in nicely as times to arrange activities around. What about ‘Green Hour’ in the morning before lunch, when you get outside and potter? Park yourself on a seat or picnic rug with bub and stay outside for an hour… Go for a soft serve cone after playgroup or mum’s group as a regular treat…

– Find a Playgroup for You: Playgroups are really for Mums. Find one where the Mums are friendly, and you enjoy yourself. Time for Mum as siblings play and others admire your baby.

– Mindfulness: Whatever activity you have, keep in mind the concept of mindfulness to pull you back to the present moment and enjoy it. What if you practice some mindfulness whilst breastfeeding, or while sibling is playing with playdough?

– Sibling Time: Remember – toddles can’t have as much of your time as they did. BUT – they are gaining a sibling! They will (eventually) develop patience, resilience and more.

Add foods to an oven tray and let y our toddler swirl them together for fun...

– Toy Variety: Rotate some toys on a fortnightly basis – blocks out for a bit, then paper and pencils another, then paper and stickers, then paper and glue and cutouts. Then a playdough table for a while, then out come the dolls/ cars box. Perhaps a toy box for breastfeeding time? Perhaps breastfeeding time could be story or book time? For example, stuffing things into playdough is fun – think of it as sculpture. Buttons, toothpicks, popsticks, cutlery, corks, lids – a different thing each time, an easy way to add variety.

– Friend and Family Support: Everyone is busy, but keep asking! What if you go on a walk in the park every couple of weeks? What if Grandparents can have a regular special time each month?

– Breastfeeding: What if you thought of this as ‘me time’? “Can’t do that, feeding baby.” (This is great for avoiding chores). Yes, toddler wants you, but baby NEEDS you – sibling has more coping reserves than a baby! Talk to siblings – describe what you see them doing…

– Mums’ Groups: Like playgroups, these are for YOU. Kids generally have fun wherever they are! These days, Mums and Playgroups take the place of extended family support to fill our own cup with support, ideas and sharing experiences.

Each Time You Pull Out Playdough, Offer a Different Item To Stuff Into It!

– Baby Wearing: A great way to either help sibling reconnect when someone can take baby for a spell, or to keep baby close while you play with said sibling.

– Occasional Care: Check out what is available nearby. Perhaps a regular day in childcare. Perhaps a kindy program to access while you shop with just baby, not tanty chucking sibling!

– Massage: You can get a neck massage for $5 at the major shopping centres these days. Prime time for a spot of mindfulness when you are out to say, do the food shopping and the kids are at home with Dad for and hour…

– Exercise: Think of it as activity and schedule it into your week like an appointment or brushing your teeth. What if you walked to playgroup? What if you walked several times a week when baby is asleep in the pram? (Yes, people say sleep when baby sleeps, but you can really only do that with one!) Exercise is now considered a high priority in managing emotions.

– Online Support: Online forums can be a saviour when there are times you are couped up at home for whatever reason. Facebook chatter, special interest forums, online information… Are there many mums who haven’t breastfed baby to sleep while googling?

Stickers are fun.

– Accessible Support: You can access social workers, psychologists, helplines and organisations for support, advice and help. Pandsi and Beyond Blue help you subdue the Black Dog of depression. See your Dr and request help when you think you need it. It helps.

– Mindlessness: There is something to be said for a spot of mindlessness to get your mind clear and distracted. Popcap games are my thing. Reading Twilight novels…watching movies… ‘Babes in Arms’ screenings are Wednesday mornings.

Adding a new baby to a mix is a BIG DEAL! A baby is a full time job. I hope some of these are ideas you can incorporate to help you make the adjustment easier, or at least have more strategies to draw upon.

– Charndra

P.S I prepared this as a handout for an ABA session I ran as a Community Educator for the Australian Breastfeeding Association. We had a huge turn out, which tells me this is a topic of great interest to Mums, so though I might as well share it here too!

Need Some Ideas to Run a Treasure Hunt?

Discover How to Organise a Treasure Hunt for Little Kids Inspired by the movie “City of Ember”.

Below you’ll see a stage by stage outline of how I organised an treasure hunt activity for 5 family kids. I had fun arranging it together beforehand with my son, aged 5. I love organising treasure hunts for the kids, it is great fun to do, and there is always a new idea to try out.

Use the ideas to inspire you to create one of your own, or use these ideas if you like them. For more kids they could be in small groups or teams, or as a relay treasure hunt perhaps, with each child in charge of a separate clue. This is a simple one where each child gets a ‘map’ with each of the clues written on the one piece of paper, with a chocolate or similar at each location. Fun! Each child has an adult helper to help then read and decipher their clues…

The inspiration for this party’s treasure hunt was the movie “The City of Ember”. Hence the final product is a message attached to a rock. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll remember the part where the children drop a rock with a message down to the boy’s father deep underground in the City of Ember, far below the surface of the Earth…

We created maps, drawn by my son, on paper that was aged with coffee and tea and salt dropped on the wet paper to leave swirls and interesting patterns. Sprinkling salt and letting the sun or a warm oven to dry it leave interesting blooms on the paper, so it looks quite aged. My son then added each child’s name and drew a map for them ( a decoration really).

For each child I planned a series of clues for them to follow with a ‘tall helper’, with lollies at each place, leading to a final treasure of golden chocolate coins and other lollies.

Each set of directions and clues was different, here are a few in more close up view:

I went over to Mum and Dad’s the week before and made a list of locations where lollies could be hidden for the planning part.

The map was then folded up and attached to a rock with a piece of rag ( a torn up old sheet)

Over at Grandma and Grandad’s house we dropped the message rocks off their balcony onto the grass below, they had to run down and get theirs and bring it back up to start hunting!

I seem to remember there was a bit of treasure at the site of each clue, then something more at the site of the final clue. I hope you get some new ideas to put into action for your next treasure hunt from this fun activity! Does this idea give you any sparks that you might include in your next kids party?

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Want to Run an Easter Treasure Hunt?

Discover How to Organise a Treasure Hunt for Little Kids at a Party.

Below you’ll see a stage by stage outline of how I organised an Easter party activity for 5 family kids. We had fun arranging it together beforehand. I love organising treasure hunts for the kids, it is great fun to do, and there is always a new idea to try out. The ideas will transfer to any theme and for more kids they could be in small groups or teams, or as a relay treasure hunt perhaps, with each child having part to decode.

First of all, let’s see the collection before it was set up around the house and yard:

What happened:

I took the kids into the darkest room of the house. I had written their initial on their ‘scroll’ in glow-in-the-dark nail polish. They picked out their own and went back to their ‘tall’ helper. The kids ranged in age from 2-8.

My son and I had created their ‘maps’ in preparation. He drew a plan and I copied variations onto each page, then he traced over them and added some easter stickers. What the map shows is that there are two eggs to find and a final place (X marks the spot) with their treasure. You’ll also notice there is a house, for where the trail starts. It’s amazing how kids mind’s work, so creative! I wrote their first clue on the page for their adult to read if they couldn’t yet:

Next, they followed clues to two paper eggs which had an easter chocolate attached. We also decorated these before the party, good fun. I got the easter stickers for a few dollars. The kids also decorated their own ‘placemat’ when they first arrived for the night.

The last clue was written on a ‘flower’ made from a pie case squashed flat, attached to a wooden skewer and some colored card (actually paint swatch samples) and stickers:

Their ‘treasure’ was inside a plastic egg, with a chocolate and an electronic bug that I got for only $2 each! They were hidden at their final places, with some other chocolate eggs:

How to plan the treasure hunt:

Below you can see my treasure hunt planning sheet. A simple grid, or table, to record the steps and clues in, useful to plan and then in case you forget what and where the parts go.

1. Create a simple grid or table with the name of each child and spaces for say, three steps, the end being where the ‘treasure’ will be hidden.

2. Plan the final location first and put it in.

3. Stage One in this treasure hunt is the paper rolled up as a scroll. Note what the clue will be.

4. Stage Two in this treasure hunt is on one of the egg shaped papers we decorated. Note what the clue will be.

5. Stage Three in this treasure hunt is on the second of the egg shaped papers. Note where the hunter is to go next.

6. The final square notes where the hunter will go to find their treasure! Clues were simpler or more cryptic based on the age of the child, too.

I hope you get some new ideas to put into action for your next treasure hunt from this fun activity! Here are some close-ups of the Easter decorations my son made for the party:

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Our Planet Matters to people in different ways. We each do our own little things to make a difference.

Let’s focus in on what our guests say matters to them the most about the environment at the moment. What matters to our guests who have Baby and Child Boutiques? Below are excepts from one of the questions answered by many of our guests. I thought I’d compile them into a series as they are thoughtful and interesting. The link will take you to their site or shop, the logo to their full guest post.

Our Planet Matters! Tell us your perspective on the environment – any aspect! What concerns you the most?

Before throwing anything away we ask, ‘Can this be used by the local prep kids during their craft sessions?’ They are always thankful for my bags of cardboard cylinders from paper toweling and lunch wraps, empty thread spools, egg cartons, unusual boxes, scraps of different textured fabric, buttons removed from old clothing and anything else that looks interesting, even our old clothes get given to our neighbor who is a mechanic and always needs rags.

Which local kindy, reception, prep, early learning centre, playgroup or similar would benefit from your collecting of such things? We take our boxes to the primary school or kindy to use in their ‘making and building’ areas.

Maryanne of Little Bird Decor says:

Our energy consumption is frightening, but what concerns me the most is that we are STILL not recycling the best we can. There are still so many things that people don’t recycle, for what ever reason. It is such a waste ending up in landfill. REUSE, REDUCE, RECYCLE!

A lot concerns me about our planet in our present time. We seem to be such a truly wasteful society in so many ways. But I do believe the hard work starts at home, one person CAN start making a difference, and if many people make small changes it will mean a huge change around the world. I believe in replacing plastic shopping bags with re-usable ones. I believe in cloth menstrual pads and nappies. I believe in recycling and upcycling clothes and fabrics. I believe in recycling as many household products as you can. I believe in simple, natural and gentle products for the home and body.

One of our environmental concerns is landfill and recycling. Jemma started and runs our local Freecycle organization where people are encouraged to recycle items they would otherwise have thrown to landfill.

I think as a society we all could be doing so much more to reduce the amount of waste we throw out, even if it is only something small like composting our food scraps.

Jenny of Vintage is Beautiful says:

At Vintage Is Beautiful we love finding fabrics and laces that can be re-purposed into lovely dresses and outfits for little ones… I love to recycle fabrics into new designs. I’m sure the people who made one of the vintage table cloths we found never thought it would be turned into bloomers and hat sets for darling little girls to run around in! We are also conscious of packing materials and use as little as possible, plus we also have bio-degradable plasic bags when doing a market stall.

Since visiting my good friend in Germany in the late 80’s and witnessing their dedication to recycling (they had recycling bins way before we did), I have been extremely conscious of what gets thrown out into our landfill. And I’m proud to say that our recycling bin is always full and our general waste bin often only has two or three small bags of rubbish. We have a mulch heap for food scraps and lawn clippings, tree trimmings are mulched down and spread back around the garden.

Before throwing anything away we ask, ‘Can this be used by the local prep kids during their craft sessions?’ They are always thankful for my bags of cardboard cylinders from paper toweling and lunch wraps, empty thread spools, egg cartons, unusual boxes, scraps of different textured fabric, buttons removed from old clothing and anything else that looks interesting, even our old clothes get given to our neighbor who is a mechanic and always needs rags.

I am most concerned about the products we use in our households. I try to clean with natural products or sometimes just hot water and a sponge. It means a little extra effort, but at least I forgo the toxic smells of other products.

Sarah of Bambinos and Rugrats says:

With the increase in media, we are regularly transported via the net and TV into the lives and living standards of people in developing countries. This opened my eyes and heart and led me decision that Fair Trade Products will feature on Bambinos and Rugrats. Fair Trade is a positive step towards these people having better working conditions, better pay, local sustainability and fair trade terms for the farmers. What a beautiful message you send when you purchase fair trade baby products, knowing that you are also supporting families in developing nations.

And our comment question is the same:

Tell us your perspective on the environment – any aspect! What concerns you the most?

– Meet Our Guests –

– This is a regular feature of My Green Nappy in which family friendly sites are invited to contribute a post about their website. You’ll discover a bit about their ideas, specialties, what motivated their passion and what concerns them about the environment at the moment.

Toilet Training Tips

Time for Potty or Toilet Training?

There are many terms used for the transition from nappies to independent toilet use, whether that be by potty training or toilet training, the more gradual elimination communication or infant potty training, each is about weaning your baby or toddler from nappies to underwear. So many types of kids, so many factors, so many ways to help them as you find out which suits your child’s needs and disposition.

Our Nappy Experts are invited to contribute to these cooperative questions so that you get a range of informative and experienced responses about the topic. Enjoy and discover something new, and share with us in the comment box below.

Don’t stress about it, let your baby/toddler lead the way. Heaps of nappy free time but other than that just let it happen. The best thing about reusables in this way is that there is no pressure to ‘stop buying nappies’ 🙂

Put a flushable item such as a coloured ice block in the toilet to encourage boys to aim.

Melissa from Little Para Pants recommends:

Keep a potty in the area where your child spends most of the day. This way they don’t always have to leave what they’re doing, and you can also stick it under them quickly if they have an accident.

Nyree from Kodomo recommends:

Start early – hold baby over the potty as soon as possible, even if just once a day in order to increase their awareness of their body and it’s functions. Oh yeah, there’s a website called Tribal Baby that I’ve heard is worth a read… 🙂

Charndra from Part Time Nappy Free recommends:

I like to encourage a spot of baby pottying myself to help baby stay aware of their wees and poos – and that they can communicate about it! For many a mother around the world, this is the normal thing to do, in fact they call it baby toilet training, although it is a bit different than that.

Think of it as swimming lessons for babies – you help them, they get better as they grow, and become independent in their own time, some early, some the ‘usual’ age, and meanwhile you have less nappies to change or wash as some of those wees and poos go in a potty, on a bush in the garden or down the laundry drain! Some folks just do it while their babies are ‘in arms’, that is before they are mobile, as it is pretty easy then, and many a baby gets too distracted to signal clearly when on the move, so they go back to nappies and timed potty breaks (at changes, on waking…)

– Our Nappy Experts –
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Newborn Baby Must-Haves!

Having had a newborn or two, you’ll realize that a lot of the newborn baby lists of ‘essential’ baby products are really just promotional product advertisements, and that not all things are really needed. What DID you find really useful when your baby was a newborn?

Let’s see what a range of Mum and Baby sites have to recommend as a must-have for newborn babies from their experience:

What Is A Newborn Baby ‘Must-Have’ That You Would Recommend?

You don’t need to be a trained masseuse to massage your baby; gentle strokes, good intensions and all natural Comforting Massage Oil is all you need. Comforting Massage oil is a mild blend of almond and avocado oils, packed with pure essential oils of Lavender and Mandarin, also known as the children’s oils, for their well documented benefits on child health and well being. Comforting Massage Oil is non greasy and light on the skin designed to nourish and soothe the skin and relax baby ensuring quality sleep and relaxation. Bonding with Baby through Massage is priceless!

Kyra from Bubbalooba recommends:

Newborn nappies can get VERY messy (especially if you are using cloth!) so I recommend some biodegradable flushable liners – they can make the cleaning up process a lot easier 🙂

Kirsten from Mums Little Outlet recommends:

The Ellarroo Organic Cotton Baby ring sling – stylish to wear, extremely fast and easy to pop on. The tail is great for privacy whilst breastfeeding or protection from sun and wind. I have loved this sling with my newborn.

Charndra from Part Time Nappy Free recommends:

Like others have said, I’d recommend a versatile Ring Sling for a new mum to snuggle baby up close. Wonderful. Even better to show her how to use it with a doll, or a nearby baby! I’d also recommend keeping a bucket nearby so when baby is fussy, you can take off their nappy and dip their bum in, offering them the opportunity to do a wee or poo outside of their nappy. A great way to connect with your freshie, and that’s one less nappy change needed today…

Wipes and burp cloths. When I was pregnant I was given so many flannel cloths (over 20) and I remember looking at them thinking why do I need all of these? After my son was born I had to buy even more as he was a reflux baby. They are definitely a must have.

Green Kids Huggalugs Nubies – especially for during winter. They keep baby’s legs warm and don’t need to be removed for change time.

Nyree from Kodomo recommends:

If you don’t intend to co-sleep, I would say a bassinet that you can keep next to your bed. I also think it’s well worth just borrowing one if you can. In the scheme of things, you don’t end up using them for a long time as bub will grow out of it by 5-6 months and they are quite bulky to store. Our son was baby number #12 to sleep in the bassinet we have, it’s been passed around everywhere. Our second child will actually be baby #15 to use it as it’s been off with two other families in between! Ours in on wheels, so it can just move around the house with me while baby is asleep. At night I love the reassurance of having a newborn next to me and listening to them breathing.

A swing seat, bouncer or rocker: that way you have somewhere to put baby down (without lying them flat on their back) so they can be with you in the kitchen while you cook, or beside you while you sew or work on the computer. Otherwise you have to hold the baby or put her bed, which isn’t always what both of you want.

Our Comment Question is about Newborn Baby “Must Haves’:

Do you have a small or a long list of these? What are three newborn ‘must haves’ in your experience?

I ALWAYS need new ideas, fresh ideas, and to be reminded of great toddler play ideas I have forgotten.

Toddler Play – Recommend a popular game or toy for a toddler…

My little ones LOVE to dance. The Putumayo ‘playground’ series of CDs are awesome, my 3.5 year old daughter has a CD player and a small collection in her room, she puts them on at her inclination and will dance for ages 🙂

Cooking (pretend and real). Never too young for the little one to start exploring (under supervision) texture, taste, mixing, transformation, seeing cakes rise in the oven, seeing pizza dough double in size, making patterns with food placement, etc

Kyra from Bubbalooba recommends:

My toddler just LOVES cars! We often sit at the front window and point out all the cars going past (which can be a great start to learning about colours too!). He has a lot of matchbox toy cars that are great for independent play, and sometimes he will let me play with them too – we can pretend to “race” them, we can play with them in the sandpit, the possibilities are endless!

Kirsten from Mums Little Outlet recommends:

The Hokey Pokey! Little kids love the music and the movement and better still they love watching Mummy and Daddy look silly doing it.

Charndra from Part Time Nappy Free recommends:

My son loves Zoobs. It was the first time he’d played with something for 20 minutes in a row in his life, playing with a demo set in the shop. I bought them for his 3rd birthday before we walked out of there! He still plays with them at 6, and so does his Dad. Heaps of ideas at Creative Kids at Home (I recommend joining the newsletter list)

My son loves dressing up in his superhero cape. This encourages imaginative play as he runs around the house.

Nyree from Kodomo recommends:

Our one year old loves his little plastic lawn mover, he spends ages tearing across the back yard with it, mowing the lawn like his Dad does.

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International Board Certified Lactation Consultants, Pinky McKay (Baby care author and mum of five) and her colleague, Barb Glare (who is also a voluntary breastfeeding counsellor and works at a large rural hospital so is a newborn specialist), are offering a FREE teleseminar ‘Breastfeeding Made Simple’ to celebrate International Breastfeeding week.

PINKY

Breastfeeding – can it really be easy for anyone?

Let’s face it, if feeding our young was really meant to be fraught with difficulty, the human race would have become extinct long ago.

So there must be a way to breastfeed without struggle and pain. And, for most women, there is!

That’s why you won’t want to miss the FREE teleseminar ‘Breastfeeding Made Easy’.

Find out how you can share in the secrets of two Internationally Certified Lactation consultants who work with new parents every day and hear feedback like this: ‘wow! That doesn’t hurt now,’ or, ‘I really DO have enough milk?’. Or after a few weeks, “I haven’t given my baby any formula since you came to see me.’

Breastfeeding can be simple, natural, pain free – and NORMAL! But you do need the information and support to make this happen – preferably before you have a crying baby in your arms and doubt in your heart!

To find out more – Check it out here and REGISTER NOW for this content rich FREE call: