Bio "SwamplessThing" is the nickname given to the greasy, untidy, chain-smoking, and often "out of his mind on something" guy who manages Sector 25's storeroom. How he passes his regular and surprise drug tests remains a mystery. SwamplessThing has been known to assist in major logistics, provided he is asked (seduced) by an attractive female member of Foundation Staff.

It can easily be ascertained if SwamplessThing is working on a given day. Simply ask yourself; "can I hear extremely loud heavy-metal music coming from the storeroom?" If the answer is yes, then SwamplessThing is working.

Due to extraordinary circumstances, SwamplessThing has somehow been involved with the containment of the following SCPs.

Upon finding that he would not be paid for his extra work, nor for his assistance in keeping humanity safe, SwamplessThing may or may not have placed █████████'s car in the garbage compacter. Due to a lack of evidence and witnesses, SwamplessThing only received a warning. (And a paid weeks leave from Dr. █████, with the message "Good job, I hate that prick.")