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Monday, August 25, 2008

In summary, here are the primary differences I discovered between dating/social life in the US vs. most countries abroad:

In America:

- Women are generally paranoid, anti-social, and stuck up toward others, especially strangers. They interact with others only on an "as needed" basis and do not like to meet new people, and if they do, it's only through mutual friends.- They have an off-the-chart sense of entitlement that makes them think they're too good for most guys. The majority of available women are gunning for the 20 percent of men at the top, thinking they deserve no less. This leaves around 80 percent of men without choices, forced to be either alone or settle for someone (fat, ugly, plain) that isn't their top pick.- For some reason, the average female has far more dating choices than the average male, who has little or none. Anyone can see this both in real life and in online personal ads, where women receive hundreds of times more responses than men do. And of course, they are far pickier.- Women in America nowadays have a negative general view of men and hatred toward them, which is condoned and supported by the media. In fact, some women meet a different man every week and end up hating every single one of them, regardless of their looks or personality.- Feminism and political correctness have taken over the nation, corrupting women and giving them a false sense of pseudo-power. And the political correctness that shields women from criticism allows them to get away with almost anything with no accountability.- Rather than being tender, soft and feminine like most women of the world aspire to be, they act overly tough and behave like Nordic warriors.- To make things even worse, obesity has become an epidemic, and fashion standards have dropped, decreasing the number of attractive women so that unattractive females now outnumber attractive ones. - Sex with attractive women is very hard to get in America. (And for me, sex with unattractive women is hard to get too) You have to be a very specific category type and hang in very specific groups or cliques. But even then, your choices are limited and dependent on timing and opportunity.- The whole US social scene is cliquish, closed, exclusive, and isolationist by nature, with work and consumerism being the only constants. A weird "ice barrier" exists between strangers in the US. People are disconnected from each other and interact on an "as needed" basis only. They do not generally like to meet people, and if they do, it's only through mutual friends. Hence, the average person's social circle is severely limited to a few. (In fact, the US is the only country I know of where you can be outgoing and sociable yet have no friends)- Friendships tend to be superficial and short term. They grow apart very easily, and are often a mere facade that lacks any true human bond or connection. Furthermore, most of your so called "friends" do not even really like you for you. And of course, most of them do not stick with you through thick and thin. Thus, it's no wonder that so many Americans say that "true friends are hard to find".

So as you can see, it's a losing battle and sinking ship, as well as a waste of time and life.

But in most of the other 200 countries outside the US, most or all of these factors are reversed.

In most countries abroad:

- Women do not put up unnatural defensive barriers toward men or strangers, but are open, approachable, sociable, and talk to strangers as if they already know them. They love meeting new people, and are not anti-social or paranoid.- They are happy, not angry or hateful, and act more humble and modest. They do not think that men are creeps or that women are superior to men and can do no wrong. - They enjoy flattery and compliments, and like being "hit on" or pursued, finding it manly and charming rather than "creepish".- They are usually thin or height/weight proportionate and enjoy being feminine, acting feminine and dressing feminine. Obesity is rare and the attractive women outnumber the unattractive ones.- Contrary to dysfunctional US females, they really do like NICE GUYS, supported by their ACTIONS not just their words. They stick with them, love them, and sleep with them.- Basically, they are the way women were meant to be, which is refreshing to the Western male.- Best of all, normal men (decent guys with no mental problems) actually have CHOICES among attractive women in other countries, either just as many as the women do, if not more. There are not millions of lonely depressed guys with no social life or female companionship and unable to do anything about it like there are in the US (which is probably the loneliest country in the world).- Sex with attractive women is generally easier to get overseas, ranging from a little easier in some countries (Western Europe, Australia), to a lot easier in others (Russia, Eastern Europe, South America, Mexico), and overflowing in others (Philippines, Thailand, China).- The social environment is naturally inclusive, so that one does not feel inherently disconnected from everyone else, even if they're alone (whereas in the US, you can be around hundreds of people yet feel totally alone, and you can also be outgoing and sociable yet be excluded and have no friends, unbelievably). - People generally like to meet new people, and social interaction is not limited to cliques or through mutual friends. Instead, it flows naturally and smoothly. It is normal to meet people in public situations. There is not a weird "ice barrier" between strangers like there is in the US. And people generally talk to strangers with a comfortable natural demeanor, as if they already know them. Thus, if you are outgoing and sociable, you are guaranteed to make friends.- Friendships tend to be deeper, more sincere and close-knit. They are also more long- lasting and enduring, with a truer human bond and connection. With foreign friends, a more natural camaraderie develops or is often instant. They are closer to the kind of ideal friendships you read about and cherished as a child in wholesome fictional stories that hold a place in your heart and memories. And of course, it is easy to find people that like you for you. In fact, "true friendships" develop more naturally and smoothly.

All these things are a huge refreshing difference, a world of difference in fact. Though these differences are as glaringly obvious as the blue sky above, NONE of it receives ANY publicity in the US. You aren't supposed to know about them for some reason. And that's what this website tries to remedy, by getting this info out there and educating those who need to know.

Four incompatibilities with Taiwanese/Chinese people: Why I'm different from my own kind

Hi my name is Winston Wu. I am a very unique blend in that I am a Taiwanese American with a European/Latin mentality and soul. However, those who stereotype automatically assume that as a Taiwanese American, I will have Taiwanese traits. So to them and others who are interested, I present this summary of key differences between my traits and those of typical Taiwanese and Chinese people.

Although Taiwanese/Chinese people are usually very kind, possess a rigid sense of morality and conscience, and have rock solid family values, I have many incompatibilities with them in the areas of mind, soul, values, beliefs and lifestyle. Here are some of the key ones.

1. Taiwanese/Chinese people are natural followers and conformists in both mind and lifestyle. They see obeying society and authority as the only possible path in life without alternatives. Thus, they are only comfortable by "following the pack". Rather than thinking for themselves or thinking outside the box, they think as they are "supposed" to think. They do not "dare to be different".

Therefore, if you are too different from them, they don't know what to do with you and often just ignore you. You see, Taiwanese/Chinese people lack any interest in trying to comprehend those who are different from them. Probably, this is because they are not curious intellectuals, but are workaholics and followers driven by duty who live to conform. Thus, they do not relish being unique or different, nor are they interested in understanding those who are. Instead, they have a tunnel vision mentality in which life is all about "following" rather than thinking for yourself or creating something. In addition, they are very strict and serious about their ways.

On the other hand, as a freethinker and freespirit, I like to think for myself, even if it goes against conventional lines. And I relish being unique and different. I am not afraid to go against the majority or crowd if I feel I am right. To me, truth and free expression are the most important ideals, not conformity. Rather than being limited to a one-dimensional practical mindset, I have a multi-faceted perspective that incorporates both practicality and imagination/creativity. Being naturally inquisitive, I seek to understand different people and what they are about. And as a writer, I am constantly thinking, musing and asking questions.

2. Taiwanese/Chinese are workaholics with few other interests in life. Almost every Taiwanese person has a strong desire to be a workaholic. In fact, this desire is so deeply ingrained into the Taiwanese culture and soul that if you don't have it, they think there is something wrong with you or that you are some kind of freak.

Like the American/Anglo-Saxons mindset, they "live to work" and usually work 6 or 7 days a week, having few or no other interests. Even when they are rich enough to retire and not work anymore, many of them still want to continue working because they get bored to death and feel empty if they don't. They wouldn't know what else to do, sadly. Like corporate America, they have an Anglo-Protestant work ethic and value that states that a person has no worth without a job or career. They enjoy working hard just for the sake of working hard, which is a grand virtue to them. You can see this not only in their workaholic lifestyle, but also in the fact that they are not able to converse on a variety of subjects, or engage in deep conversations. Instead, their conversations are usually limited to topics about surface-level necessities and practicalities.

As for me, I have more of a European or Latin mentality and soul toward life. For instance, I do not measure my life in terms of career progress, but by the variety of rich experiences I've had. I am an eclectic and Renaissance type of man who lives for intellectual and artistic pursuits. And I am deeply philosophical, inquisitive, and existentialist in nature. Also, I am wild, passionate and romantic, yet cultured, artistic and intellectual at the same time (a rare combination of traits for a Taiwanese or American, but not for a European or Latin). Thus, I am more like an Italian, Frenchman or Spaniard than a Taiwanese or American.

So, to the typical Taiwanese person who gives me a puzzled look when they find out that I don't have a desire to be a workaholic, I say this, "Sorry buddy, I respect you and all, but we are different creatures driven by different things."

3. Taiwanese/Chinese people, like most Americans, tend not to talk to strangers unless it's business related or on an "as needed" basis. They only meet new people through mutual friends and socialize only within their own clique. This is especially the case with young women. As a result, the average Taiwanese/Chinese person's dating choices and social circle is severely limited to the few in their clique, closed off from the rest of the world's population. Outside one's clique, other people are like an "off limits zone" to them, similar to how it is in the US. In my book, that sucks (but fortunately it doesn't have to be that way, and in most countries of the world, it's not). And as in American social culture, there exists an "ice barrier" between strangers, but without the paranoia that pervades the typical modern American populace.

Well I don't like countries like that. I like meeting quality people and beautiful women. So I am happier in countries where general people are open and sociable (not just kids and old people like in Taiwan), where it is normal to talk to people in public settings and where they are comfortable doing so. I don't like being restricted to cliques or requiring introductions, which severely hamper the opportunities and are low probabilities. Countries that limit socialization to within cliques are a "catch 22" - you have to have a lot of friends to meet a lot of people, but you can't get a lot of friends unless you meet them through a lot of friends first. Hence a "closed loop".

Thus, only those that get in early have opportunities to meet others or get acquainted with nice available women. Or those that have the "right" connections, which only a few will have of course. But even if you do have good connections, the number of people you can meet will still be miniscule compared to those you can meet in countries with open free-flowing inclusive social cultures.

4. Taiwanese/Chinese people and society tend to be extremely "square", prudish, inhibited, conservative, tight, strict, proper, serious, submissive, and hung up about sex. (Thus, they would be suitable candidates for conversion to Protestant Christian religious sects, which idealize and emphasize such traits.)

As a result, they tend not to be very fun to hang around, as they never really "let loose", but are constantly obsessed with work and duty 24/7. After all, people who are too "square" are not much fun. Also, Taiwanese parents tend to be control freaks and worry-worts who try to create co-dependency in their children.

In Taiwan, sex is a taboo subject. They are so ashamed and embarassed by it that they suppress any notion of it publicly. To even utter the word "sex", "horny" or "pick up girls" in Taiwan would be like cussing in a church. Even compared to the solemn serious Japanese, they are more hung up about sex in comparison, as they don't even have a porn industry, whereas Japan has a huge porn industry. In fact, even Taiwanese actors in movies and TV shows are not wild or uninhibited in them, but are serious and solemn!

It's no wonder then, that on internet forums for those seeking sex, such the one on WorldSexGuide.com, many have said that Taiwan is not the place for whoremongers or those looking to get laid or seeking wild action. They say the sex scene there is virtually dead. Taiwanese girls are so prudish in fact, that they don't even like to shake hands. After all, how can I talk or even think about sex around someone who is so stiff that she can't even shake hands?!

In my experience, Taiwanese women who are wild, uninhibited and horny are like UFO's and Bigfoot. Sure, I HEAR stories ABOUT them, but I never SEE or EXPERIENCE them! And everyone who claims to know some that I've asked to show them to me has FAILED to do so or come up with some excuse. Whatever. Thus, I conclude that if they exist they must be extremely rare, and certainly not easily available to the average guy. Most Taiwanese people I've known tend to marry their first or second partner, so not many have had many partners. The society is way too square for "sexual exploration".

In contrast though, in the neighboring Asian countries of Philippines or Thailand, I can easily find and experience wild uninhibited women ANY time I want, every day and every minute if I wanted to. No problem at all in babe paradise. And I can easily demonstrate this to others who don't believe it, without any excuses.

As a freespirit/freethinker, I feel suffocated by all this. I love action, adventure, fantasy, imagination, fun, desires, sex and fast women, none of which are encouraged in a pragmatic Taiwanese society nor flows naturally in it. Instead, everything feels repressed and subdued. In Taiwan, I get the impression that one is supposed to be humble, non-expressive, weak and submissive, doing only one's duty as a workaholic and conformist. (Well sorry bud, that's just not me.) Therefore, being a freethinker, intellectual, melodramatic, wild or passionate, feels out of sync and out of tune with the Taiwanese environment.

In short, I would have to say that like America, Taiwan has a bland culture that is good for making money and being a workaholic, but not for living life to the fullest, having different experiences, enjoying one's existence or having fun.

Conclusion:

Thank you for reading. I believe and hope that this presentation sufficiently explains to those who expect me to have Taiwanese traits, why they are mistaken. As explained above, these incompatibilities and key differences between me and my fellow Taiwanese people make me feel like an alien among them, of a different species. They don't understand me and I don't understand them. The only kindred spirit I feel with them is in language and race, for there exists a comfort zone and level of trust between Taiwanese people that non-Taiwanese cannot feel, which is hard to put in words. But in terms of my mind and soul, no way. We couldn't be more different.

Now, it is true that most Taiwanese people do seem to share the traits described above, at least in my experience and that of those who I've talked to. But I guess every general pattern and rule has exceptions, so I happen to be one in this case.

So to the typical Taiwanese person who approaches me assuming me to be like them, I say this:

"Buddy, I respect you and all, but we are just different creatures driven by different things. Now, if you wish to try to understand me, I will help you to do so. But odds are, you won't be interested or you will feign interest out of politeness only. If that's the case, then so be it. To each his own."