CRIKEY : Lazza's Aussie Thread Mate

It was this chant on a news program in 2005 that made me look up from whatever I was doing. It was the story of how an Aussie by the name of Joe Hachem had gone to Vegas and beat thousands of other players to win the World Championship of Poker and win US$8.5 million.

Wtf. They have world championships in Poker? Eight and a half million?

As the story cut to vision. it showed Joe Hachem draped in a full size Australian flag chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie with a very drunk rail responding with the obligatory Oi Oi Oi while in the foreground was this massive pile of money.

This was spine tingling stuff. How long had this been going on? Why wasn't I told? What sort of poker were they playing?

After a few days it faded from my memory.

In 2008 I got Austar (Subscription/Pay TV). I noticed that they had a show on one of the channels called "World Poker Tour".

Wtf. They tour like golfers or tennis players?

So I thought I would give it a look even though I thought that watching a bunch of guys playing poker would be boring.

Hmmmm. What's this? Texas Holdem. Never heard of it. So my natural curiosity took over and I thought I'd see if I could pick it up. When the first hand was dealt I was stunned. I could see their cards. I could learn the basics so quickly because I could see they way these pros played.

Being mathematically inclined, what immediately struck me was the game's simplicity and conversely it's near infinite possibilities.

And that is where my love for playing poker originated.

My name is Larry although most people call me Laz or Lazza. If you go to a poker room and come across someone with Laz or Lazza in their nick, It could be me. I am a 51 year old, unemployed forklift driver

I have been playing online poker since 2008 across more rooms than I care to remember. I can play most major variants but I tend to favour Omaha8, Stud8 and Mixed games.

MY PLANS FOR THIS BLOG

I would like to see this blog used for things Australian whether they involve poker or not.

For people who may want to talk a bit of footy particular with finals coming up, please feel free to do so (My teams- AFL- St Kilda, NRL- Wests Tigers
)

So grab a cold tinnie from the fridge and sit down and have a yak to me sometime.

Majority of my Aussie Heroes segments will involve people who have inspired me through their mental resilience and their never say die approach.

They are not in ranking order.

STEVEN BRADBURY

At the 2002 Winter Olympics Steven Bradbury won Australia's first Winter Olympic gold medal in the 2k speed skating in a race famously known as "Last Man Standing"

With the scheduling meaning all four races run on the same night (Heat, QF,SF and Final), Bradbury knew he would get slower by the race. In fact his heat time was 3 seconds faster than his quarter final which in turn was 3 seconds faster than his semi final.

After winning his heat he was drawn in the "quarter final of death" against two of the gold medal favourites and finished a credible 3rd (top 2 advance). Post race the 2nd place finisher was disqualified for obstruction and Bradbury was through to the semi final.

In the semi final he was last (5th) when 3 riders fell on the last turn to allow him to finish 2nd and qualify for the final but he was physically spent.

After discussions with his coach, it was agreed the other 3 riders(4 man final) were unlikely to settle for anything but gold so the plan was to stay on the back of the other skaters to take advantage of any trouble/injuries and drop off the back on the last lap in case there were falls on the last corner.

So was he lucky or was it a tactical masterstroke.

Hell should he have even been there? In 1992 his leg became impaled on another skater's skate and he almost bled to death. In 2000 while trying to jump a fallen skater he accidentally clipped the skater and was sent head first into the barriers breaking his neck. Doctor's told him that he would never skate again. And yet 2 years later he was collecting a gold medal.

A true inspiration and a great example of mental resilience and a never say die attitude.

Drop bears are smarter than you think, and display some interesting characteristics. One thing for sure is that there are things you can do to avoid the threat of drop bears when visiting Australia. Here are our ten most recommended tips:

2. Try to avoid speaking in languages apart from English - A drop bear can detect foreign languages and will target the origin of such sounds

3. Use the Aussie Lingo - Words like sheila and crikey will fool your average drop bear

4. Smear vegemite on your armpits - We think this one is a bit of a myth, however many swear by it, so if you want to make sure you don't get flattened by a hairy meat sack, then you may want to go to such extremes

5. Hop on one leg - This is an interesting one. We thing that the drop bear will mistake you for a Kangaroo and leave you alone if they hear hopping. It is not fool proof but a good one to excersize, especially if you hear the rustling of potential drop bear activity

6. Keep Moving - when you move around it is very hard for a bear to follow you up in the trees. If you stay in one place say for a picnic, the drop bear has the chance to edge forward towards you location

7. Wear a broad brimmed hat - Wearing a large hat increases the viewable area of your body to a drop bear looking down from above. We have found that large hats tend to scare off some of the less agressive drop bears.

8. Sing a song - (preferably Australian - see number 2 and 3) Drop bears are known to be very musical creatures and appreciate a good song.

9. Don't declare liberal political views out loud - Drop bears are highly left wing politically and don't like hearing the other side of the story

10. Don't act scared - Seriously, drop bears can smell fear a mile off. Be cautious but confident walking around the Australian bush. Don't let them see the terror in your eyes.

Whilst there are many more tips for drop bear aware campaigners, we feel these top ten should keep you pretty much covered although we cannot guarantee that following these above guidelines absolutely insulates you from a Drop Bear attack.

Just remember the 3 C's. "Cautious", "Confident" and "Crikey me sheila's dropped a cracker". Good Luck, may the force stay away from you!

In the lead up to the 2000 Sydney Olympics, US swimmer Gary Hall Jr. posted in his blog that " It's my unbiased opinion that we will smash the Aussies like guitars" in the 4 * 100 metre freestyle relay.

And why wouldn't he say that. After all the US had never been beaten in Olympic history.

What was initially a matter-of- fact blog post was turned on it's head by the local media. Stories ran about the "arrogance of those Yanks". The Australian public was whipped into a frenzy.

Rallying calls of " The Thorpedo will put those Yanks back in there place' rang out. It had become the second most anticipated event of the Games.

As fate would have it Gary Hall Jr. (not Michael Phelps) would swim the anchor leg against Ian Thorpe.

The race started with a bang with Michael Klim (more noted as a butterflyer) amazingly broke the WR in his lead off swim. This allowed the Aussies to take a half body length lead and hold it until the last change.

The crowd erupted as Thorpe hit the water ahead of Hall. Surely Hall could not run down the Thorpedo. But a stunning first 50 metres turned that deficit into a halfbody length lead. Thorpe looked to his right and knew he had to dig deep.

So he hit the wall hard and pushed and then with an almighty dolphin kick gained several precious inches as well as gaining good speed. And then they slogged it out. Stroke for stroke. Inch by inch, millimetre by millimetre, Thorpe pulled back the ground. With 10 metres to go it was evident it would come down to the touch.