Friday, May 9, 2008

This Ain't My Call

Here's the lamenting limerick we came up with at EMI--to the tune of the Sloop John B (Kingston Trio, Beach Boys).

My grandfather told me, I’d love the ministrySo to serve the people of God, I got my MDivI found before long, Grandpa was wrongHe never told me how much, I’d have to give.

Refrain:I padded my resume, filled out my PIFTold my EP I just can’t handle it allI wanted to preach, the Bible to teachIf this is ministry, then this ain’t my call.

The Treasurer seems sedate but she borrows from the offering platesAnd the elders for twenty years won’t set it arightThey just won’t say, she needs to pay,‘Cause she knows where their husbands go on Friday nightsRefrain

The choir’s at it again, they just won’t learn the new hymnChoir director won’t plan in advance,And old Mrs. Store, walked out the back doorThe week we tried to include liturgical dance.Refrain

The Clerk came to Session drunk, and my lay leader’s in a funkHe thinks the King James is the only version that’s trueThe elders agree, they won’t listen to meThey say that “thee” and “thou” are better than youRefrain

I gave a talk to the youth, and considered it uncouthThat while I spoke they texted all of their friendsThey say they can hear, with buds in their earsBut I think their interest in me—is just for pretend.Refrain

PW’s in a row with the guys from Building and Grounds‘Cause they painted the kitchen walls a shade of bright limeA head’s gonna roll over all of this bullNow I’m afraid, that head’s gonna be mine

I polished my resume, spat on my PIFTold my EP these jerks can have it allThey won’t let me teach, or listen when I preach:People of God, my ass! This isn’t my call.

Then in an evening drear, the Spirit showed me so clearJesus with a cross enduring all the world’s shameHe looked in my eye, and said with a sighHow do you love without bearing some pain?

So I left my resume, shredded my PIFTold my EP that push has now come to shoveJesus I’ll preach, and grace I will teachMy ministry will be a labour of love