Picks of the Week (November 13,
2000)

You're gonna make it, after
all

You know, here at Picks Central we're always getting
letters from people wondering what it takes to become
a Pick Writer. Did we have to go to writing
school? Pay our dues as assistant Pick Writers?
Impress somebody with our natural
wit and charm? Good golly, no. All it took was a
few pictures of our boss with a rubber
chicken on his head, a suggestion that it would be
real shame if those pictures got published, and the
rest is history. But that's just one way to get ahead.
For the rest of you, here are some tips on what to do
if you want to make it in this business:

Learn to write good -- uh, well. That should be
a really -- or is that real? -- obvious one. You don't
get far as a Picks writer without knowing how to
write, and a good writer loves the English
language. She's the sort of person, for example,
who frequents CBC's
Words, Woe and Wonder, a wild and woolly
(wooly?) collection of word-related facts, gripes, and
questions submitted by readers all over this fair
dominion. Do split infinitives make you want to boldy
go bust some heads? Ever wondered if ending a sentence
with a preposition is the sort of thing you shouldn't
put up with? And what's the flap over flags flying
at half-mast? Wonder no more.

Listen to other peoples' stories. We can't
begin to tell you how important it is to read,
read, read. The whole world is full of fascinating
stories that you can plagiarize -- um, that is, pay
homage to in your own writing. And if there's one
thing we've learned from checking out Histori.ca,
it's that you don't have to look far to find some
really fascinating
stories to inspire you. Remember those Heritage
Minutes? You know, the little commercials that played
scenes from Canadian history ("No one is ever going to
read about a hero in tights, Joe. It'll
never fly.")? It's got 'em. Plus a whole bunch of
other fun
and games that bring history to life.

Be daring, bold, and original. Nobody likes a
copycat, or someone who keeps recycling the same old
ideas. To make it in this biz, you gotta be the kind
of person who marches to a different drummer. Saunters
to a different saxophone. Bellydances
to a different -- well, you get the idea. We like
original thinkers around here, which is why we've been
spending so much time at Drawn &
Quarterly. Ten years ago, Chris Oliveros was
just another guy with a comic
magazine, until he decided to publish the works of
some of the hottest Canadian comic artists around.
We're talking people like Chester Brown, Joe Matt,
Julie Doucet -- the kind of artists whose stories
aren't about the usual mutants
and strongmen
in Spandex. The D&Q site charts the company's
history and success in bringing original comic art to
the world. Comics made in Canada? Now that's a
daring idea...

Get a university education. For it is only in
the hallowed halls of academe
that one truly has the opportunity to discuss great
philosophical issues ("So, if Donald
Duck never wore pants, why did he wrap a towel
around his waist when he got out of the shower?").
Then again, paying for that trip tends to set you back
a bit -- let's face it, graduating as The Debt-Free
Grad is never easy. Fortunately, there are
plenty of places where you can get good advice on how
to minimize the costs of higher learning, which is
good, 'cause there are a lot of things to learn out
there ("So, if Scooby
Doo could only talk like a dog trying to speak
English, how come his nephew Scrappy
could speak perfect English?").

Keep in touch with loved ones. Even after you
make it big in this business, you should never forget
to write
the people who helped you make it -- after all, who
else are you going to make fun of when it's a
half-hour to deadline and you're fresh out of ideas?
In all seriousness, though, there's nothing more
important than keeping in touch with loved ones -- and
if you don't believe us, check out The Canadian Letters and Images Project.
It's an ongoing effort to publish online the letters
exchanged between soldiers and their loved ones during
the wars of the past. If you meet anyone who doubts
the power of the written word, tell them to read some
of the letters
here -- that'll change their minds pretty fast, we
guarantee.

Don't be afraid to draw attention to yourself.
Let's face it -- talent only gets you so far in this
world. In order to get the job, you've got to know how
to advertise
yourself. Take the good folks of Elliston,
Newfoundland. They're a small town of about
400 people just a short drive from Bonavista.
Deciding that their tourism trade needed a little
boost, they officially declared themselves the "Root
Cellar Capital of the World" in July. "Elliston boasts
133 documented root
cellars, some of which have survived nearly two
centuries," says the town's official site. "This makes
Elliston a cultural centre for those who seek to gain
an understanding of early Newfoundland subsistence."
We applaud their attempts to attract attention, and
wish more people would do the same. Except for that
guy outside our door, begging to work here. It's not
like we make that much money here....