Never pass up a chance to sit down or relieve yourself.
-old Apache saying

Monday, November 7, 2016

way to go America

Yes, that's sarcasm.

This is a clusterfuck of major proportions. The implications will be felt for years. No matter who won this race, the country seemed more divided than ever. Hillary would have faced instant opposition and obstruction if she had been elected. Will the Democrats grow a spine and seriously oppose Trump the way the GOP opposed Obama? I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Still, the sun will rise, we will retire and move to South Padre Island. I just hope we don't get margined out.

THE STORY

Donald Trump is the next president. Of the United States of America.

HOW THE F DID THIS HAPPEN?

Don’t ask the pollsters. Pretty much all of them gave Hillz the edge. And apparently there are many Trump voters out there that didn’t get counted in their models. His message to working class voters has been that they’ve been ripped off by the political elite and their jobs are going overseas. And that he’s the one who can flip the the status quo. Last night, those voters turned out bigly. They put him over the edge in the key swing states of Florida, Ohio, and North Carolina. And Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin - which haven’t voted for a GOP candidate since the 80s.

HOW CLOSE WAS IT?

Almost every swing state was “too close to call” for hours. And in some states, the difference was just thousands of votes. The country also found out that some people really like third party candidates. They took a small but key percentage of the vote away from Trump and Hillz in a few important swing states.

WHO SHOWED UP AND WHO DIDN’T?

So far, we know that white, working-class, and rural voters showed up for Trump. Women showed up for Clinton. Hispanic and black voters turned out for her too - but not quite like they did for President Obama in 2012.

I’M HEARING ‘BREXIT’ A LOT.

That’s because many people are having deja vu. Earlier this year, the UK made the entire world do a double-take when it upset the polls and voted to leave the EU. Now, it looks like the US is staying on brand and one-upping Britain with a bigger international mic drop. Global markets - which thought Hillz was a sure thing - are now tanking hard. Mexico’s central bank is holding an emergency meeting, after the peso dropped to the lowest levels ever last night. And this is why you’ll hear your co-workers freaking out about their 401Ks.

I’M HEARING ‘CANADA’ A LOT.

That’s because people are Googling ‘Canada’ and ‘citizenship.’ So much so that last night, Canada’s immigration site crashed. Really.

CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE FOR HILLZ?

Yes. A lot of the country thought they’d be waking up today to having elected the first woman president - someone almost every major newspaper around the US endorsed as the most qualified candidate, maybe ever. Someone who spent almost double what Trump spent on the campaign trail. And someone who was backed by every celeb minus Chachi. And a lot of the country doesn’t fully understand what happened.

OK. SO WHAT NOW?

Trump will be the first US president without military or gov experience. And now, his voters will want him to put his campaign promises where his mouth is. Like, nominating a far-right Justice to fill the open seat on the Supreme Court. And overhauling US immigration policy. That includes building a wall along the US-Mexico border, and practicing “extreme vetting” of immigrants from countries that have a history of terror. But it’s unclear whether any of these proposals would pass Congress.

WHAT’S GOING ON WITH CONGRESS?

There are still elephants in the room. Republicans kept control of the House and the Senate, with just one Senate seat in Illinois flipping from red to blue control. The catch? Many Republican Congressmen and Senators have been anti-Trump, so even though the White House and Congress will both be red, things could get awkward over the next four years.

theSKIMM

The country is angry. The country is divided. The country is tired. Many people are shaken by the racist, homophobic, and sexist sentiments that have come out of this campaign. And many other people are saying ‘my voice was finally heard.’ TBD on whether a President Trump will bring everyone together.

Occasionally Clickable Quotes and/or Jokes

If we are honest - and scientists have to be - we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality. The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination. If religion is still being taught, it is by no means because its ideas still convince us, but simply because some of us want to keep the lower classes quiet.

Public prayer is not intended to promote religious values, but to enhance the authority of some churches and some political views over others. Similarly with the posting of the Ten Commandments. It is about power, not about religion. Government by Christian or Islamic or any other faith has rarely been progressive. And the Constitution clearly intends that there should be freedom from religion.