Diversity@Work

November 16, 2017

Why People Hate - And What To Do About It

Dear Cultural Coach: Whenever I read about hate groups or see their leaders on TV, it makes me angry. The actions of these few often give their neighbors, their communities, and even their families a bad reputation. Why do people hate? What can we do to eliminate it? - Hate Not

Dear Hate Not: Hate is an ugliness we should confront, but most of us prefer to ignore it until the day our particular group is under attack. I'm as guilty as anyone. Whenever possible, I shun associations with individuals, groups and organizations that promote hatred. I wish they would steer clear of me as well, but for some reason they seem to enjoy sending me cards and e-mails.

In life, people tend to judge us by the company we keep. My circle of friends indicates to others whether I am truly tolerant of differences, skilled at managing conflict, optimistic, considerate and well informed. So although I am willing to listen to people with hate-filled biases and prejudices and hear their stories, I make it clear to them that I do not consider their opinions to be my truth.

Now, let's get right to your question. Why do people hate? Since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, that question has been on the mind of a lot of folks, including President George Bush, who asked in a passionate speech to Congress shortly afterwards, ``Why do they hate us?'

Since every individual has a cultural filter, we might turn to science for answers. Over the past 10 years, neuroscientists studying the brain have probed the biology of hate. Rush W. Dozier, a Harvard-educated journalist and science writer, provides a glimpse into how hate arises and affects human behavior in his book, ``Why We Hate: Understanding, Curbing and Eliminating Hate in Ourselves and Our World' (Contemporary Books).

``Hate is a primitive emotion that marks for attack or avoidance those things that we perceive as a threat to our survival or reproduction, which are the prime directives of evolution,' Rush writes.

In other words, when we hate other people or groups we often are driven by fear.

``The reaction is automatic and stereotyped,' Rush contends. ``Similarly, someone filled with racial or ethnic hatred experiences immediate, irrational hostility whenever he or she encounters any member of the hated class - an Arab or Jew, Serb or Croat, black or white - irrespective of that particular individual's unique qualities or beliefs.'

Although this is not surprising, Rush goes on to argue that hate is a product of the brain's limbic system, which is programmed to carry out evolutionary imperatives of survival and reproduction.

So, if hate is wired into us, then how do we eliminate it? Rush offers several strategies for consideration:

First, we must learn to identify any source of anger, pain or threat with as much specificity and detail as possible. Avoid generalizations.

Second, when dealing with groups with whom we have little sympathy, develop an ``us-us' orientation, instead of ``us-them' approach. Avoid language that fosters conflict and divisions. Find the common ground by identifying what both communities have in common. When all else fails, we' can always agree to disagree.