Tips for the media on reporting rape and domestic violence homicides

When a woman is killed by her husband, it is not love and it is not an isolated event.

The killing is about power, control and regarding the woman as his possession.

It is not an isolated event, because it is something that happens in every country on the planet and has done so for thousands of years.

Since Verity McLean was killed this week, allegedly by her husband, the media has reported on a “love triangle” in Invercargill because she had left her husband and was in a relationship with another man.

As is always the case with media reporting of men who kill their wives or children, we have been told Ben McLean was “well liked,” “a nice guy” and “the type of guy who took his kids on family outings to the river and helped out at local school fundraisers.”

Unbelievably, one story reported that “He wasn’t the type of guy who shoots his wife with a .22 calibre rifle before turning it on a man who was one of his close mates.”

Did the journalists typing these words stop to think about them ?

How can it be said McLean wasn’t that “type of guy,” when this is exactly what he is accused of doing ?

The most New Zealand headline of all was “Shot woman Verity McLean daughter of former All Black.”

How is this relevant to her killing ?

It simply continues the practice of defining women entirely by our relationships to men. Women are not individuals but “a policeman’s wife,” or “an All Black’s daughter.”

When Alan Bristol killed his three daughters in 1994, he was reported to be a “devoted father.”