Friday, 14 March 2008

A Cautionary Washing Machine Tale

The Washing Machine and The Good Fairy

Once upon a time there was a young lady ..(oh, OK, it's me - I can dream, can't I?) who moved out to rural France to a little white house in the Limousin. At first there wasn't even water, but after a while that problem was solved and she had a cold water tap. But there was no washing machine...well, to be honest there was no sanitation... and a kindly neighbour took pity on the lady and said she could use her shower and washing machine, rather than the long journey into the nearest town. Eventually the burly French builders came and installed toilets and hot and cold water upstairs and everything was wonderful. But still there was no washing machine (which they said should be put in the bathroom upstairs, as was the French way).

Then one day the burly builders took the washing machine up to the bathroom and plumbed it in and the lady put in a test wash and everything was wonderful... until the machine began to spin...

The builder, who was working downstairs, rushed upstairs and the lady ran up after him and found him kneeling in front of the machine, which was halfway across the bathroom floor...

This is no good, he said, I didn't realise your machine spun so fast (1200 revs) - French machines spin much slower (quite a good excuse, the lady thought) it will have to go in the kitchen downstairs after all (which the lady had said was the proper place in the English way). But when the lady looked at the kitchen, there was no space for the washing machine, so her only hope was if the Good Fairy came and suggested a solution.

And the Good Fairy did come and his name was Marcus, and he said the washing machine just needed its little feet levelling up and everything would be all right. So the lady found Ye Olde Instructione Booke for the washing machine, and lo and behold, there was a page (and illustrations) for the levelling of the feet. So the lady showed this to the builder men and they took their spirit level and their stiltsons to the bathroom and levelled up the little feet on the machine. Try it now, they said to the lady, and she tentatively put in a wash, and started up the machine, remaining in the near vicinity in case it walked across the floor again.

And she listened, and she watched the machine at every spin, and it was good and it did not walk or vibrate the entire house, and the clothes were clean and everything is wonderful. So THANK YOU to the Good Fairy Marcus, from the lady.