Picture this: You're 18, you're in love and you're also, inexplicably, in a Spencer's. The object of your affection, the only person who has ever and will ever matter, lifts up a box featuring a $13 vibe and says "I need this. I need this." You want to give her everything she wants. Hell, you'd pull down the moon for… »3/27/15 12:50pm Friday 12:50pm

The Prison Rape Elimination Act has a pretty self-evident mission, and yet, somehow, there are still people who manage to be against it. PREA, first passed in 2003 and finalized in 2012, establishes basic standards to keep American prisoners from being assaulted by other inmates or (more commonly) guards. Yet a… »3/26/15 2:15pm Thursday 2:15pm

Everyone except teetotalers has done something they regret while under the influence of mind-altering substances. So I'm sure we've all got at least a little sympathy for this Florida woman claiming she mistakenly purchased a home $100,000 underwater while fucked up on diet pills. »3/11/15 3:30pm 3/11/15 3:30pm

Terrible news: if you're half a gay couple looking to tie the knot in Miami, you just missed your chance to be joined in joyous matrimony by none other than Food Network personality Guy Fieri. The love boat has passed you by, my friend. »2/24/15 11:30am 2/24/15 11:30am

Jasmine Tridevil, the 21 year old who made headlines last summer after claiming to have had a third breast surgically implanted on her chest, would like you to know that she's still around and still pumping that third tit. »2/19/15 12:30pm 2/19/15 12:30pm

Two weeks ago, Russ Rollins, a radio host in Florida, was served with divorce papers by his ex-wife live on air, a situation that inspired lots of muttering about what ice-cold bitches women are. But the attorney for Rollins' estranged wife says he staged the scene as a bit. However, the divorce filing is real; a… »2/13/15 4:30pm 2/13/15 4:30pm

Malcolm Brenner is the only man on Earth to achieve international fame for having sex with a dolphin. A former investigative journalist who covered the American Southwest, he remains best known for his 1970's love affair—mostly romantic, briefly sexual—with a bottlenose dolphin named Dolly. Their "courtship," which…»2/11/15 12:30pm 2/11/15 12:30pm

Avery Denton was a bit of a surprise for his mother, not only because he weighed 14 very painful pounds, but also because his mother, Maxxzandra Ford didn't realize she was pregnant until her third trimester.»2/07/15 1:30pm 2/07/15 1:30pm

About nine-tenths of what Congress does is useless. Every so often they manage to pass a budget or something, but for the most part, they just furtively re-decorate their offices and turn oxygen into carbon dioxide. And, as the Daily Show pointed out last night, occasionally deliver stinging, unneccessary, completely… »2/05/15 10:10am 2/05/15 10:10am

And he still protected his friend because you don't snitch. Even when you're bleeding from your groin and might die. "Nah, it was an accident man! You go home! I got this!' »1/30/15 11:50am 1/30/15 11:50am

Marissa Alexander, the woman was sentenced to 20 years behind bars for firing a warning shot to scare off her abusive husband, has been released from jail to spend the remainder of her two year sentence on house arrest. »1/28/15 10:50am 1/28/15 10:50am

Florida is known for many things: Disney World, pleasant weather and being the setting for Starring Sally J. Friedman as Herself. Now it's being recognized for being the home of one more special thing: A zombie cat who clawed his way up and out of his final resting place. »1/27/15 7:10pm 1/27/15 7:10pm

The Florida authorities called the Dozier School for Boys a reformatory, a home for orphans or wayward boys who needed a little guidance. But the boys sent to the school called it Hell. »1/19/15 3:15pm 1/19/15 3:15pm