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Police Extend Jaywalking Blitz to Include Other Letters

After a recent crackdown on jaywalking in Sydney raised more than $12.2 million in fines across a 14-day period, police are calling for a move to ban a wide range of alphabetical walking styles.

Probationary Constable Rusty Lahood described the revenue raised from the jaywalking blitz as “incredible” and “an inspiring example of what the alphabet is capable of”.

“Our station now has four pinball machines and we’ve even got one of those fancy fridges that makes ice,” he said, as he enjoyed a tall glass of iced tea.

NSW Police are now exploring the alphabet for lesser known types of walking they can crack down on. “We’re hoping to go the whole A – Z,” Lahood said, pointing out some scribbles on a 70-inch Ultra HD interactive smartboard that has recently been installed.

Future offenses could include anything from iWalking, which involves walking at speeds of more than 3km/h while looking at your phone, to kaywalking, which involves walking under the influence of ketamine and promises to raise billions of dollars’ worth of revenue in Newtown.

Lahood said he’d be happy to be assigned any of the letters, noting that it’s better than doing real police work. “It’s easy, as the people we fine are really lovely,” he said. “Professionals and regular working folk, you know? Much nicer than the criminals we used to deal with.”