Last June, CNET disclosed that Google collects and publishes the estimated locations of millions of phones, laptops, and other Wi-Fi devices. All without their owner's knowledge or permission. Google has finally announced how to exclude your home network from this database. Simply append "_nomap" to its name. Details over at CNET. Left unsaid is why the burden is placed on millions of individuals to opt-out, instead of on perpetrator Google.

The problem is, Google is actively PUTTING MY ROUTER'S SSID AND WHEREABOUTS ON THE INTERNET,

That's the core issue here. Their competitors, e. g. Apple, harvest the same data for obvious reasons but don't make them public. The interesting question is, why does Google feel the need to publish this data?

WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

That's not the issue, that's just what itches you. Your SSID is public, YOU broadcast it to all the world to know. Deal with it, in the "internet age" the term "local" has lost a good deal of its meaning. Maybe you can now appreciate the trouble some governments have with the internet a little more.

What's nice [sarcasm] about this is that even though my Android phone "knows" about my home router (SSID, passphrase) to automatically connect, it will no longer connect to it to use high-speed Internet access. Yay, Google. Motherfuckers. Now my problem is, trying to get Android to connect to this now non-broadcasting network; since the phone doesn't "see" it it uses the slow cellular network, and I see no screen that will allow me to manually enter the SSID and connect.

Apparently you fail to realize that the database is fed with information coming from YOUR Android phone. Thus, if you connect your Android to your hidden WLAN, Google will know about it and you have gained nothing (but a less effective WLAN).