Madonna Is Trying Way Too Hard to Be Cool

You remember who Madonna is, right? She was like Miley Cyrus to your parents. It took a lot less to be offensive back then, though -- All she had to do was roll around on the ground in a wedding dress and wear traffic cones for bras and people were in a perpetual state of outrage.

Nowadays she's an old lady who just found out about Instagram and molly and really, really wants to be cool. For example, she named her last album MDNA. She's 55. If you take powerful stimulants at that age, you're liable to keel over and die.

Recently she started working with Diplo, who must have lost a bet or something. Madge thought it would be really cool to Sharpie Diplo's dinosaur tattoo onto her forearm and take a pic pretending that she was producing on a laptop. That's cool, but we're pretty sure that's a MacBook Air, which is only good for producing emails.

Here she is after reading her first Judith Butler article:

Apparently this was her intended outfit for the Met Gala. Again, desperate to offend...Cool nipz, tho.

But every once in a while, she decides to be classy...

Maybe one day she'll figure out...despite what Miley says, EDM affiliations and drugs don't make you cool. You're already cool, so just chill out and start crocheting or something.