tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21740825755289542002017-09-18T15:47:19.121-05:00GAMUT GIRL for GOD!A Christian blog covering a wide GAMUT of issues and Scriptures for Godly-living.Stephanie Teagardennoreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-56043715801874448992015-04-28T13:44:00.000-05:002015-04-29T12:06:47.977-05:00Bodily Harm and the Body of Christ<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SAqFhAtJU1Y/VT_Aoz5F7nI/AAAAAAAAEQo/LP_b8LW3-gs/s1600/IMG_5713.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SAqFhAtJU1Y/VT_Aoz5F7nI/AAAAAAAAEQo/LP_b8LW3-gs/s1600/IMG_5713.JPG" height="320" width="205" /></a></div><br /><br />Over the past couple months, I have been thinking a lot about, "church."&nbsp; Recently, I had a hard conversation with a friend who left the church a few years ago (and I have a few other friends who have done likewise).&nbsp; Her reasons were: <br /><br />1.&nbsp; <i><b>She grew weary of all the hypocrites.&nbsp;&nbsp;</b></i><br /><complete id="goog_1009417249">2.&nbsp;<i><b> </b></i></complete><i><b>She became disillusioned from sitting there waiting for some big, "God-moment," that never occurred.</b></i><br />3.&nbsp; <i><b>She was tired of spending one of her only two days-off each week going to a place where she felt criticized and unloved.&nbsp;&nbsp;</b></i> <br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>I was baffled.&nbsp;</b></i></span><br /><span style="font-size: large;">&nbsp; </span><br />As someone who views, "church," pretty much with the completely opposite mindset, how did I change hers, or convince her that perhaps she just needed to do some church-shopping (or dare I say it, some honest, heart-wrenching, soul-searching and God-seeking)?&nbsp; Her issues with the church are complex and multi-faceted, and I don't smugly pretend to fully grasp them all.&nbsp; <br /><br />My first reaction to this conversation was to remind my friend that we are ALL hypocrites, whether we go to church or not.&nbsp; If she thinks the church is full of them, she sure won't find less of them in the world.&nbsp; In my view, the difference between church-going hypocrites and non-church-going, worldly ones is, "EFFORT vs. APATHY."&nbsp; We are ALL imperfect, sinful, flawed human beings trying to find our way in life.&nbsp; My feeling is that overall, those in church are TRYING.&nbsp; So I found myself thinking, "<i>Does she really have a right to be so put-off with the church?"&nbsp; </i><br /><br />Then I recalled some church experiences from my own past that made me better appreciate some of what she was feeling.&nbsp; Though rare, I have been through some things in the church that have caused me to want to run and hide, too.&nbsp; Sometimes you just get to the point where you want to give-up.&nbsp; Dealing with situations of jealousy, mockery, and false accusation are just a few of the things I have had to, "suck-it-up" and handle within the body of Christ.&nbsp; It is easy to recall the enormous pain I felt when secretly over-hearing someone, who I thought liked and respected me (a, "friend" even), speak mockingly about me behind my back.&nbsp; The even worse part was that those listening didn't defend me.&nbsp; They went along with it and they, too, were supposedly good church, "friends."<br /><br />I was also once given, "the bird," on the highway by a fellow believer who didn't know to whom they were flashing the finger (that was actually more funny than offensive to me--and honestly, I <i>was </i>tailgating a bit and in a hurry, so I actually deserved it)! Thank the Lord they didn't have the Jesus fish on the back of the car, if that's their normal mode of driving behavior.<br /><br />I've had fellow believers ridicule my parenting decisions, my decision to stay home, my decision to work, my particular choice of profession, where my child went to school, how we spend our money, how we spend our time, the modest house in which we live, where we vacation, the clothes I wear, my hair length (yes, I am dead serious about that one), the number of children I have, the particular ministries I feel called and equipped to do (or not do)...you name it.&nbsp; A few years ago, one "friend" of nearly twenty years, chose to drop our friendship after a disagreement we had about my daughter taking a job in Dallas as a recruiter for KSU upon her graduation.&nbsp; This friend didn't think it was right of Matt and I to <i>let </i>our daughter live alone in a huge city (I laughed at her usage of the word, "<i>let</i>"--in my view, our daughter was 22-years old and old enough to make her own decisions)!&nbsp; My friend used Scripture out of context and argued that we were sinning in our stewardship of raising Allie by letting her live alone in harms-way instead of protected under our roof until a Godly suitor asked for her hand in marriage.&nbsp; She out-right insulted my faith and my parenting numerous times during the disagreement.&nbsp; I felt maimed.&nbsp; She then acted gloatingly shocked that I was hurt by her words.&nbsp; But the friendship ended because she didn't, "win," and wasn't willing to, "agree to disagree."&nbsp; Since Matt and I didn't rush down to Dallas with a U-Haul and bring Allie home upon this friend's profound and inspired instruction, she decided to grab a U-Haul and, "move on" herself!&nbsp; Give yourself enough time and rub shoulders with enough people in the church, and somebody is going to have a problem with you--maybe even a big one.&nbsp; Funny thing is, many times these same people will turn around and do the exact same thing YOU did once the tables are turned.&nbsp; Interestingly, their microscopic, out-of-context-Scripture-usage flies out the window when they glance piously at their own lives.<br /><br />But, as I've said before, it is easy to look at the sins that other commit against you and put your own through a nice filter.&nbsp; If I am honest...&nbsp; <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">It's not like I've NEVER <i>spoken</i> about anyone&nbsp;</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">behind their back in my entire life.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">It's not like I've NEVER <i>hurt</i> anyone.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">It's not like I've NEVER flipped somebody, "the bird."&nbsp;</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">(True story, people.&nbsp; It's confession time!)! </span><br /><span style="font-size: large;">It's not like I've NEVER given unwarranted advice.</span></b></div><br />Though I do not make it a habit to be critical of others, my church, or complain about others behind their backs, it isn't like I have <i>never</i> committed those sins.&nbsp; When I <i>have</i> spoken about others behind their backs, it is typically when <i>they </i>have done something that has really hurt me (and I'm needing to, "vent," so to speak--this is my pathetic justification, anyway).&nbsp; But I also know that on rare occasions, I have poked fun at others (and though this may have appeared to be well-received, what if it actually wasn't?&nbsp; What is the real point in that really? Who is it really helping?)!&nbsp; Ephesians 5:4 speaks to this, "coarse joking," and encourages us to speak with thanksgiving.&nbsp; Another goodie is, Ephesians 4:29 which says, "<i>Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to <b><u>their needs</u></b>, that it may <u><b>benefit </b></u>those who listen</i>."&nbsp; L<span class="p">ike my sweet little Grandma used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all."&nbsp; But to that old cliche' she would fondly add, "<i>And there's ALWAYS something nice to say to EVERYONE</i>."&nbsp; She is so very right.</span><br /><br />I recall a Sunday morning when someone jabbed me on a bad day--(can you say, "PMS?!").&nbsp; It ticked me off.&nbsp; Then a couple hours later, I caught myself casually poking fun at someone else.&nbsp; The epiphany of my ironic hypocrisy came to me like a whiff of utter stink, and it was both humorous and disgusting to me how completely self-centered I really am.&nbsp; Pass me a vomit bag, por favor.&nbsp; We (ah hem, <u><i><b>I</b></i></u>) tend to get our feelings hurt way more easily than we hurt for the feelings of others.&nbsp; That scale needs to start tipping the other way at some point.&nbsp; We reap what we sow, and we need to be more aware of that truth.&nbsp; God is just.&nbsp; He will not be mocked (Gal. 6:7-8; Colossians 3:25).<br />That said,<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>I probably deserve every unkind thing&nbsp;</b></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>anyone has ever said about me.&nbsp;&nbsp;</b></i></span></div><br />We all do the same things that we despise in others if we're really honest with ourselves.&nbsp; I recently had someone ridicule me for posting a selfie and literally two weeks later, up came a similar selfie on their page.&nbsp; Really???!!!&nbsp; None of us is without flaw--it may present itself differently, but the underlying sin issue is there.&nbsp; Be careful what you complain and gripe about in others...you are more than likely about to commit the same error yourself and then some.&nbsp; <br /><br />So...why do YOU gossip, critically complain, or share too much about others??? (This includes hiding gossip under the guise of "prayer requests," too):<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">&nbsp;<b>Hidden jealousy?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Cleverly camouflaged competitive comparison?</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">(How's <i>that</i> for alliteration?!)! </span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Piety and legalism?</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Self-promotion or self-preservation? </span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Compensation to make YOURSELF feel better? </span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Secret satisfaction that their issues aren't YOURS???</b></span></div><br />When we hurt each other with our words (hidden or direct) we are actually creating self-inflicted, bodily harm to ourselves and to the body of Christ.&nbsp; The church is made up of many parts--we are ONE part in ONE body of believers.&nbsp; We should honestly view each other in this way.&nbsp; If you know Christ as your personal Savior and Lord, then you are a part of me and I am a part of you.&nbsp; We are FAMILY.&nbsp; We are BLOOD.&nbsp; Like all families, we aren't perfect.&nbsp; We have issues.&nbsp; We have baggage, problems, insecurities, and struggles.&nbsp; As one friend recently put it, "the church is a family and a dysfunctional one, at times" (nicely put, JB).&nbsp; But we, as believers in the body of Christ, should not be so dysfunctional that other members (other "parts") of our body are running away from home.&nbsp; There are two alternate and equal truths (or responsibilities) here:&nbsp; 1.&nbsp; If you've given up on your church family, you've given up on God; and, 2.&nbsp; We, the church, should be seriously troubled when others give up on us and God.<br /><br />What do I believe to be the ultimate reason the body of Christ ends-up with missing body parts?&nbsp; Because of one part of our individual bodies:&nbsp; <i>our mouths</i>.&nbsp; I want to give you a challenge (and more importantly, give MYSELF a challenge):&nbsp; Before I complain to my husband (or anyone) about someone or something that is bugging me in the church, I will pray fervently, not flippantly, about that problem SEVEN TIMES before going to Matt or better yet, before going to the person directly related to the issue.&nbsp; I have every confidence that God in His faithfulness will more times than not completely take care of the problem at hand before I ever feel the need to start down the winding, negative path of complaint and criticism.&nbsp; <br /><br />It really should trouble us that people are using the excuse of, "hypocrisy," to give-up on us and ultimately, on God.&nbsp; Yes, the Bible says we ALL fall short of God's glory due to our sin nature (Romans 3:23).&nbsp; But that, too, is no excuse.&nbsp; No, people cannot blame the church for being full of hypocrites when all they have to do to be around a hypocrite is go look in the mirror.&nbsp; But as Christians, we are called to a higher standard of living than the world's standard.&nbsp; If people are leaving the church we better be asking why.&nbsp; We better be chasing after them.&nbsp; We are called to be the, <i>family of God</i>.&nbsp; Church is supposed to be a safe-zone.&nbsp; The church body is supposed to be a BETTER example of, "family," than the world's example.&nbsp; We wouldn't let a member of our immediate family run away from home without chasing after them, so why do we let our church family members run away so easily?&nbsp; We are supposed to be peculiar and different. We are called to stand-out and be attractive to others for the light we shine.&nbsp; I like the King James Version of 1 Peter 2:9 which states, "<i>But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a <u>peculiar</u> people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light</i>."<span class="p">&nbsp; As a big Royals baseball fan, I like any Scripture that tells me I'm actually truly ROYAL.&nbsp; But seriously, if we are no better than the world, then why <i>would</i> anyone want to give-up one of their only two days off a week to come spend time with us?&nbsp; A green, lush golf course or peaceful, picturesque fishing pond WILL be a better alternative on Sunday mornings if we don't step-it-up a notch.&nbsp; Every Christian church everywhere ought to be so different and so much better than the world that we are busting at the seams with people who can't wait to come be with God's people and be a part of a REAL family.&nbsp; Yes, the church is full of imperfect people serving a perfect God.&nbsp; And, yes, people need to come to church FOR God ultimately.&nbsp; But the church can no longer afford to likewise make excuses for not living-up to the name, <b>FAMILY OF GOD.</b></span><br /><br />So the real question is:&nbsp; Do we REALLY see ourselves as a ONE BODY and ONE FAMILY in the church?&nbsp; Or do we view church as a place to get stuff for ourselves--to consume and be served?&nbsp; To promote our gifts and talents?&nbsp; To bolster our own egos and social popularity?&nbsp; Do we truly view <i>every other person</i> in the church as OUR FAMILY MEMBER...as a soul linked deeply to ours that we should nurture and protect?&nbsp; Or do we let jealousy, competition, comparison, spite, selfishness, malice, gossip, and pride rule?&nbsp; The majority of us easily view our immediate family members, (those living under our own roof), as part of us.&nbsp; We have a, "blood is thicker than water mentality," and would, "go to bat" for them for any reason as if our own flesh were at risk.&nbsp; It should be no different in the church.&nbsp; In fact, <br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>...in God's family, the blood is that of Christ, </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>and it runs <i>deeper and purer</i> than any blood&nbsp;</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>we have here on earth in our biological family.&nbsp;&nbsp;</b></span></div><br />Most of us would lay down in traffic for our immediate earthly family members and defend them to the death. We stand up for them, accept them, love them, appreciate them, take joy in their successes, revel in their accomplishments, and value them as if we are guarding and caring for our own flesh.&nbsp; It follows then that we should do the same in the family of God, and even more so.&nbsp; God's Word says we are all brothers and sisters in Christ--children of Abraham (Gal. 3:7, 26-29; Ro. 8:29).&nbsp; We are all grafted into the vine of Christ (Ro. 11).&nbsp; If we don't "talk smack" on those living under our own roof, there should be no remote desire to mock, gossip, or defame anyone in the family of God.&nbsp; The command in Matthew 18 of going to your brother in private during strife should be the rule, not the exception (versus telling everyone BUT that person)!&nbsp; Love should be the basis for all we do and say (Heb. 13:1).&nbsp; We should be easily and generously able to dole out forgiveness to each other, just as we do in our homes with the ones we claim to unconditionally love.&nbsp; We all know the Golden Rule (Luke 6:31).&nbsp; We're vastly familiar with the verse about, "that charity that covers a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8).&nbsp; We know all about viewing others as better and viewing each other's gifts as better (Philip. 2:3).&nbsp; So why do we struggle to keep our <b><i>jealousy, pride, and selfishness</i></b> (essentially, our hearts) in check?&nbsp; I firmly believe that most gossip, criticism, belittlement, and malice in the church are derivative of those three sins.&nbsp; (Again, notice how all of those sins come from one part of our bodies~<b><i>our mouths</i></b>)!<br /><br />I once heard Beth Moore speak at a women's conference about FAMILY.&nbsp; She shared a story about how when her daughters would fight and say awful things to each other that she would scold them severely, telling them that in their home there would be NONE of that!&nbsp; She told them that life is hard enough and there would be plenty of people out in the world that would want to throw daggers at them and attack them.&nbsp; The last thing they need is to be doing that to each other in their own home!&nbsp; She told them, "We WILL have each other's backs in this family!&nbsp; We WILL stick-up for one another and be there for each other!"&nbsp; She made it a mission for her girls to recognize that God had made them a FAMILY...and FAMILY takes care of FAMILY.&nbsp; Period.<br /><br />So is it really any wonder why people leave the church or constantly jump from church to church?&nbsp; We claim to be, "the family of God," but we treat each other more like strangers and rivals than family, at times.&nbsp; Someone may be your Facebook friend and muster-up a fake smile at you on Sunday morning, but behind your back, they aren't your friend and you know it.&nbsp; With all the various forms of social media out there, we now have many more avenues to either be offended or annoyed by each other.&nbsp; This doesn't help the situation.&nbsp; Truth is, if you are someone who gets easily offended or annoyed by people, you didn't need Facebook to bring it out.&nbsp; It was already there long before social media, you just now have many more varietal ops to complain about others.&nbsp; My advice to those who get riled-up about things on Facebook that have nothing to do with you:&nbsp; Get off of social media.&nbsp; Learn to let people be who they are and live their own lives.&nbsp; You have no idea what battles they are fighting and what their situation is all about anyway.&nbsp; Live your own life and let others live theirs.&nbsp; If you can't be around someone without the green-eyed monster (or your tongue) rearing its ugly head, steer clear of that person so as not to set yourself up to sin against them and your Lord.&nbsp; We aren't called to be best buds with everyone in the church.&nbsp; But we <i>are </i>called to love and do good to everyone.&nbsp; Sometimes the best way to do that is to leave some people (or branches in the vine) alone.<br /><br />I hear this all the time:&nbsp; <i>Your gift is so much better than mine</i>!&nbsp; CORRECTION:&nbsp; Any remote ability I may have with singing or leading worship isn't even important enough to be mentioned in Paul's inspired "gifts" list of 1 Corinthians 12!&nbsp; Sometimes I wish that singers led worship behind a black curtain.&nbsp; Worship is actually all about humility and laying it all down before the Father.&nbsp; It isn't about the cool lighting and perfect pitch (thank God--I wouldn't be up there)!&nbsp; Somehow the idea behind leading worship got twisted--like it's some glorified position in which to be.&nbsp; Leading worship is actually the most humbling thing anyone can do in the church.&nbsp; You are the person who is first in line to get on your face before God in your heart <i>publicly</i>.&nbsp; Basically every time I stand-up in front of the church, I am putting myself at risk.&nbsp; In my own frailty and sin I am attempting to lead others to the throne of grace, and that warrants serious humility.&nbsp; It creates fear in my heart of the Lord.&nbsp; Worship is a big deal, and yet I am so <i>not</i>.&nbsp; That creates fear in me.&nbsp; So I rely heavily on the Lord every time I lead knowing that He can take my gift the minute I get, "too big for my britches," and knowing that I could do something truly horrible on stage without His intervention and hand of mercy (like belch over the mic, totally forget a song, etc.).&nbsp; Singers are a dime a dozen...and God can find a new and improved one anytime He wants very easily.&nbsp; It is scary sometimes to realize that you could wreck the entire worship experience if you don't have the Lord's help and blessing.&nbsp; Many Sundays, I have diarrhea in bathroom at church because I don't feel worthy of standing on any stage (how's <i>that </i>for glamorous?).&nbsp; It is a strange paradox to love serving in some capacity and at the same time, honestly not have the hutsba on your own to do it.&nbsp; My daughter's former church turned the lights down completely during worship--the only thing lit was the lyrics.&nbsp; You could barely even make out the faces of the singers.&nbsp; I loved that.&nbsp; It takes a lot of courage to muster up the ability to stand before others and show them your vulnerabilities before the Lord.&nbsp; Truth be known, I wish I could lay face down on that stage--that's the position in which I deserve to be.<br /><br />Furthermore, any talent I have isn't really mine.&nbsp; This is another mistaken myth.&nbsp; It is <i>God's and yours </i>more than it is mine.&nbsp; I owe my talents to you and ultimately, to God, and you owe yours to me.&nbsp; We are supposed to use them to serve each other.&nbsp; They aren't even about us individually.&nbsp; In the church we all have different gifts, talents, abilities, and callings to be used to strengthen and advance the Kingdom of God, and to give God glory.&nbsp; My gifts and talents are no better than yours.&nbsp; We use them for each other, for the body of Christ, and for God.&nbsp; We have to stop the comparison/competition game.&nbsp; Again, I am a part of you and you are a part of me.&nbsp; It's actually pretty cool stuff how God designed this.&nbsp; You can't be envious of something that is a part of YOU...that belongs to YOU.<br /><br />Viewing each other as part of our actual SELVES (an attached body part) is commanded.&nbsp; We hear it all the time, but I don't think we really "get it."&nbsp; We are ONE in Christ in the church, just as we are ONE in marriage.&nbsp; Marriage is a symbol of oneness--it is a symbol of the bond between Christ and the church (Eph. 5:23).&nbsp; If you are "one" with someone, the last thing you want to do is harm a part of your own flesh.&nbsp; Obviously, when the Bible speaks to this oneness or compares the marriage union to the union between Christ and the "church," it is referring to ALL those who have believed and trusted in Christ, not just our own place of worship.&nbsp; But our individual churches are where we live-out this unity stuff...this ONENESS.&nbsp; I think sometimes we grow disillusioned with our church because we DO have high expectations for the people there, and for God--and things just don't always go the way we think they should.&nbsp; People fail us and God allows it (and we self-righteously wonder what He's thinking or doing)!&nbsp; But more than that, we are dealing with our own sin nature which thinks of, "ONE," as, "#1" or, "ME!"&nbsp; It's a high calling to place the term, "ONE" on a body of sinful, self-concerned people.&nbsp; We come to church expecting God to fill us and everyone else there to do the same.&nbsp; But oneness and unity are more about what we give back to God and others than about what we receive.<br /><br />I say this with much love in my heart:&nbsp; You can't expect to have some grand, "God-moment," at church if you never spend time talking openly to God, reading His Words sincerely, singing His songs, and trusting and obeying His commands.&nbsp; I would liken that to me spending every night at a hotel alone and wondering why my marriage is less than thrilling!&nbsp; Likewise, you can't expect to feel loved, accepted, and understood by others in the church, when you aren't willing to sacrificially do the same for the other hypocrites there.&nbsp; Giving...not just receiving. <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">One body...</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">One family...</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Grafted-in...</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">One vine...</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Joined together in Christ.</span></b></i></div><br />What are your expectations of church?&nbsp; Are they about YOU or are they about God and others?&nbsp; Our only reasons for coming to church should be:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">1.&nbsp; To worship and serve <i>God</i>.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">2.&nbsp; To love and serve <i>others</i>.</span></b></div><br />When we waiver outside of those two reasons, we will quickly become disillusioned with the church and our family there.&nbsp; If you are at a point where Sunday mornings are a battle in your mind because you see the imperfections of your church family with great ease and feel like you just aren't receiving back the blessing you so deserve, <b><i>I've been there, friend</i></b>.&nbsp; And my advice is the same for you as it is for myself:&nbsp; <b><i>Get over yourself.</i></b>&nbsp; Find someone sitting alone in the church and go talk to them.&nbsp; Befriend the person that no one ever befriends.&nbsp; Encourage someone you've never encouraged before now.&nbsp; Assist someone who is elderly or disabled and give them some serious love.&nbsp; Get busy about others and forget about yourself--God will look after you for you, and He does a much better job.<br /><br />We need to accept the fact that there will be times, in our human flesh, when we simply don't like our church.&nbsp; We WILL have times of dissatisfaction.&nbsp; We are overly stimulated and therefore, easily bored people.&nbsp; It is in those times that we must let our love for God, our desire to love others above ourselves, and our desire to obey God's command to worship corporately (Heb. 10:24-25; Matt. 12:30) spur us on to a better perspective of our church. &nbsp; And we must pray like mad-dogs.&nbsp; We can't expect things to always be perfect there if we throw up random prayers about our church family.&nbsp; It's our HOME...and that warrants heavy prayers for protection, blessing, and unity.<br /><br />We need each other.&nbsp; I need to learn from you and be affirmed, challenged, and encouraged by you.&nbsp; I also need to learn to support YOU, hurt with you, and rejoice in your joys and gifts.&nbsp; And you need all that, as well.&nbsp; If we say we are believers and that our life's purpose is to bring others to the faith and to bring glory to God, then that is how we should be living--for God and others.&nbsp; Our best witness, example, and opportunity for doing this is <b><i>how we take care of each other in the body of Christ.</i></b>&nbsp; In that purpose there is no room for pride, selfishness, jealousy, slander, ridicule, rudeness, arrogance, gossip, course-jesting, and belittlement.&nbsp; There is just no room for bodily harm in the body of Christ.&nbsp; Help us, Lord.<br /><br />Thanks for reading, and please know that I sincerely prayed at this end of writing this for our individual church bodies and world-wide church body to be shielded, blessed and unified!&nbsp; Much love to you all!<br /><br /><br /><u><b><span style="font-size: large;">Related Scriptures </span></b></u><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">(PLEASE don't brush over these~I'm begging you!&nbsp; They are better than anything I've said above!):</span></b></i><br /><br />Romans 15:6-7, "<span class="text Rom-15-6" id="en-NIV-28310">...<i>So that with ONE mind and ONE voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.</i></span><span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311"><i><sup>&nbsp; </sup>Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God</i>."</span><br /><br /><span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311">Romans 12:4-6a, "</span><span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311"><i>For just as we have many members in ONE BODY and all the members do not have the same function, <span class="highl">so we, who are many, are ONE BODY in Christ, and individually members one of another.</span> Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly</i>."</span><br /><span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311"><br /></span><span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311">Romans 12:10, "</span><i>Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves</i>."<br /><span class="p"><br /></span><span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311">Romans 12:5, "...</span><i>So in Christ we, though many, form ONE BODY, and each member BELONGS to all the</i><br /><i>others</i>."<span class="text Rom-15-7" id="en-NIV-28311">&nbsp;</span> <br /><br />Romans 12:15, "<i>Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep</i>."<br /><br />Ephesians 5:28-30, "<i>So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their OWN BODIES. He who loves his own wife loves himself; <span class="highl">for no one ever hated his OWN FLESH, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the CHURCH,</span> because we are members of HIS BODY</i>."<br /><br />Hebrews 10:24, "<i>And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works</i>..." <br /><br />Galatians 6:10, "<i>Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, ESPECIALLY to those who belong to the FAMILY of believers</i>.<span class="p">"</span><br /><br /><span class="p">1 Thessalonians 5:11, "<i>Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.</i>"</span><br /><br />Philippians 2:1-7, "<i>So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of ONE mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus</i>..." <br /><br />James 4:1-2, "<i>What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask</i>."<span class="p"> </span><br /><br /><span class="p">1 Corinthians 12:26, "<i>If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.</i>" </span><br /><span class="p"><br /></span><span class="p">1 Corinthians 12:27, "</span><i>Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is A PART of it</i>.<span class="p">&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span class="p"><b><span style="font-size: large;">And the most fitting passage for this blog:</span></b></span><br /><span class="verse-12">1 Corinthians 12:12-31, "<i>The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up only ONE BODY. So it is with the BODY OF CHRIST</i>.&nbsp; </span><i><span class="verse-13">Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into Christ's body by one Spirit, and we have all received the same Spirit.</span><b> &nbsp;</b><span class="verse-14">Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part.</span> &nbsp;<span class="verse-15"> If the foot says, "I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand," that does not make it any less a part of the body.</span><b>&nbsp;</b> <span class="verse-16"> And if the ear says, "I am not part of the body because I am only an ear and not an eye," would that make it any less a part of the body?&nbsp; </span><span class="verse-17">Suppose the whole body were an eye -- then how would you hear? Or if your whole body were just one big ear, how could you smell anything?&nbsp; </span><span class="verse-18">But God made our bodies with many parts, and He has put each part just where He wants it.</span>&nbsp; <span class="verse-19"> What a strange thing a body would be if it had only one part!</span> &nbsp;<span class="verse-20"> Yes, there are many parts, but only one body.</span> &nbsp;<span class="verse-21"> The eye can never say to the hand, "I don't need you." The head can't say to the feet, "I don't need you."&nbsp; </span><span class="verse-22">In fact, some of the parts that seem weakest and least important are <u>really the most necessary</u>.&nbsp; </span><span class="verse-23">And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect from the eyes of others those parts that should not be seen,</span> <span class="verse-24"> while other parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together in such a way that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity.</span> &nbsp;<span class="verse-25"> This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other equally.&nbsp;</span> <span class="verse-26"> If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.</span><b>&nbsp;</b> <span class="verse-27"> Now all of you together are CHRIST'S BODY, and each one of you is a separate and <u>necessary part</u> of it.&nbsp;</span> <span class="verse-28"> Here is a list of some of the members that God has placed in the body of Christ: first are apostles, second are prophets, third are teachers, then those who do miracles, those who have the gift of healing, those who can help others, those who can get others to work together, those who speak in unknown languages.&nbsp;</span> <span class="verse-29"> Is everyone an apostle? Of course not. Is everyone a prophet? No. Are all teachers? Does everyone have the power to do miracles?</span><b>&nbsp;</b> <span class="verse-30"> Does everyone have the gift of healing? Of course not. Does God give all of us the ability to speak in unknown languages? Can everyone interpret unknown languages? No!</span><b>&nbsp;</b> </i><span class="verse-31"><i> And in any event, you should desire the most helpful gifts. First, however, let me tell you about something else that is better than any of them.</i>"&nbsp;</span><br /><span class="verse-31" style="font-size: large;">&nbsp;<b>(And it isn't being able to sing, people)!&nbsp; ;) &nbsp;</b></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="verse-31">Much love to those of you who read this far!&nbsp; I prayed a special blessing on your life!&nbsp; God bless!&nbsp;</span></b></span><br /><br /><br />Recommended blog:<br /><br />My dear friend, Kelly Balarie, links my blog to hers.&nbsp; Please give her a read and check her out on Facebook, as well!<br /><br />http://purposefulfaith.com/<br /><br />https://www.facebook.com/purposefulfaith<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-38306535113568603772015-02-18T13:21:00.001-06:002015-02-20T10:34:50.771-06:00Loving the Unlovable<div style="text-align: center;"></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj">"My command is this: Love each other&nbsp;</span></span></span></i></b></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj">as I have loved you."</span></span></span></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><i>John 15:12</i></span></span></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">With the passing of another, "Valentine's Day," I have given some thought to the meaning of, <i>love,</i> and what it is that makes it so difficult to love others <i>as Christ loved us</i>.&nbsp; It seems like a question with an easy answer--clearly, none of us is Christ, making none of us perfect.&nbsp; Hence, our love is imperfect.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">My sweet hubby, T-bone, bought me these roses for Valentine's Day last weekend.&nbsp; He said that the one white one stood for me because to him, I am unique and pure amongst women.&nbsp; He lovingly said that I stand-out in a crowd of many duplications.&nbsp; It was very sweet sentiment, and meant a lot to me.&nbsp; But ever since, all I have thought about is how impure I really am.&nbsp; How my love is, at times, quite conditional...how my attitude can easily waiver depending on who is pushing my buttons and at what moment they are pushing them.&nbsp; I thought about these roses.&nbsp; To me, the ONE white one truly represents God's desire for me to actually live-up to that calling.&nbsp; To actually BE PURE HEARTED, and live a rare, unique, selfless, and unconditionally loving life. &nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IhWhFQfB_74/VOTd5besENI/AAAAAAAAEOc/nkPrgfgzfHI/s1600/FullSizeRender(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IhWhFQfB_74/VOTd5besENI/AAAAAAAAEOc/nkPrgfgzfHI/s1600/FullSizeRender(1).jpg" height="320" width="273" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj">But WHY is it <i>so hard</i> to love others as Christ loved us?&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj">WHY is it <i>so hard</i> to love the unlovable?</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">For starters, let's define, "unlovable."&nbsp; There are the people who flat-out don't want our love.&nbsp; (That's about as unlovable as it gets)!&nbsp; They either don't love <i>us </i>(or even <i>like</i> us), don't want us to love <i>them</i>, or they don't like/love people, in general.&nbsp; Then there are those who want <i>our</i> love, but often don't want to return it to us--they are the, "all-about-me" people in our lives. These are the people who ask things of you that you would never ask of them (either because you know they would never do it for you, or because you would never impose such a request on them).&nbsp; Then there are people who on the surface, seem unlovable--like the dirty beggar downtown holding the sign, or the addict who makes poor choices due to their addiction.&nbsp; Last, we have the category of unlovable that too often trips us up in our quest to love others as Christ commands us.&nbsp; I call these folks the, "daily drainers."&nbsp; These are different for everyone, but perhaps it's the passive-aggressive co-worker who drives you bonkers...the back-stabbing gossip who seeks to increase their own influence and decrease yours...the whining complainer who criticizes everyone and everything...the crazy-driving jerk on the road who cut you off and almost caused an accident...that person who cut ahead of you in line at the store...the smelly guy at the gym who constantly gets on the treadmill next to you and coughs his head off the entire time even though there are tons of open treadmills everywhere else (ah hem, no, this one isn't hypothetical)...and the worst and most harmful of all, the "frenemy."&nbsp; You know what I'm talking about~the friend (or even family member) who, at times, is actually an enemy?!&nbsp; These are the people who you either thought were in your court, or who are <i>in</i> your court but are scoring points for the enemy's team. They love you one minute but then by their words and deeds, hate you the next.&nbsp; They are too often ruled by negative, defeating things that fester and eventually destroy them and their relationships, such as:&nbsp; dishing-out belittlement, back-handed compliments, green-eyed monster jealousy, making comparisons, engaging in competition, zapping you with zingers, acting joyful at your sorrows, acting sorrowful at your joys, rudeness, purposeful exclusion, public embarrassment, using Facebook or other social media as a weapon against you, and so forth.&nbsp; Their tactics are obvious, sad, pathetic, and extremely powerful.&nbsp; And shame on us for falling for them.</span></span></span><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp; We often feel like we are the only ones who have to love such people.&nbsp; But we ALL have to learn to love the unlovable in this life.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">I see occasional posts on social media touting things like,</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">"<i>If they don't appreciate your love, do them a favor and remove it</i>,"</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">or, "<i>If people don't take the time to be in your life, don't waste yours on them</i>!"</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">The world tells us often to <b>take charge</b> of our bad relationships and do what is good for <i>US</i>!&nbsp; We all have this entitlement attitude of self-protecting, empowerment and we even at times, justify it as, "guarding our hearts," which IS Scriptural (Proverbs 4:23, "</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it</i>").&nbsp; </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">I do not believe that Christ calls us to waste our time incessantly loving people who drain us to a ridiculous degree, or who steal our joy and peace to a level that is unhealthy, ultimately getting in the way of our relationship with Him.&nbsp; Jesus did not hang-out as, "buddies," with the Scribes and Pharisees who despised Him from day-one. &nbsp;</span></span></span></span>But even Jesus had flawed relationships within His inner circle.&nbsp; When we think about His twelve disciples, we quickly see that even His closest friends were sinful people who betrayed and denied Him in the end.&nbsp; Jesus knew about loving unlovable people--He loves all of us, and we're all flawed, sinful, and unlovable at our core.&nbsp; As He hung on the cross in the worst pain and rejection anyone could ever endure, He displayed the greatest love anyone has ever displayed--He said, "<i>Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing</i>," (Luke 23:34a).&nbsp; He could have said, "Father, smite them NOW!"&nbsp; Isn't this what we too often pray when someone hurts us or doesn't value and reciprocate our love?&nbsp; When we are hurting, we are all about justice and God's vengeance...and love flies right out the door of our hearts.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">But again...<span style="font-size: large;">WHY is it SO HARD to love the unlovable?</span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">Humility.&nbsp; It demands utter humility.&nbsp; We have to literally take up our cross and die to self.&nbsp; We have to ignore insults.&nbsp; We have to be bigger than the belittlement.&nbsp; We have to deny our own needs and sacrifice our time, energy, and money.&nbsp; We have to have mercy and take pity on the jealousy, and be complimented instead of offended by it.&nbsp; We have to smile through our pain.&nbsp; We have to pray a lot.&nbsp; We have to trust God a lot.&nbsp; We have to turn the other cheek.&nbsp; We have to make conscious efforts to put our attention on our blessings and dispel the myth that our problems are greater.&nbsp; We have to remember who we are in the Lord and place our entire identity in Him.&nbsp; We have to believe God loves us and that it is enough.&nbsp; Basically, we have to walk our talk.&nbsp;&nbsp;We have to, "get over," ourselves and humble ourselves before the Lord <i>and</i> man to do any of those things--and they are very hard things to do for sinful, prideful people like us.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">It is easy-breezy to love kind, thoughtful, lovely people.&nbsp; It is easy to love those who steadfastly love us back, and who appreciate our love and don't abuse it.&nbsp; But the ability to genuinely love unlovable people requires taking the road less traveled...and it is a narrow and rugged road.&nbsp; It feels like a road in the pit of lowliness...but though rugged, it is actually the high road.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">Speaking of rugged, I am reminded of the old hymn, "<i>The Old Rugged Cross</i>."&nbsp; I remember when my first niece, Josephine, was born.&nbsp; My sister [in-law] gave me the privilege of babysitting little Josie one evening, and told me that to put her to sleep, I should rock her and softly sing this old hymn, which was one of my sister's favorites.&nbsp; She had begun the ritual of singing it to her and it had become a bedtime, "thing," for Josie.&nbsp; So I sang it to her.&nbsp; Sure enough, little Josie was out in a flash!&nbsp; I always loved that old song myself...I sang it often while growing-up in my Baptist church back home.&nbsp; But after singing it to my infant niece, it will forever be etched in my mind<i> </i>as,<i> Josie's </i>song.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">I heard that old hymn on Christian radio the other day.&nbsp; I, of course, thought about my beautiful, now 12-year old niece, Josie, but also about that old rugged cross.&nbsp; I thought about how Jesus bled upon it...how He carried it in utter agony...how He hung there thirsty, suffocating, facing utter rejection...alone...drained...how He died on that rugged cross to pay for our sins, proving exactly how much He loved us.&nbsp; It was a heavy load and a hard road for Him--it was a rugged one.&nbsp; He was worn, torn, and ragged after bearing such a cross.</span></span></span><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><i>Are you worn, torn, and ragged from bearing your, "rugged cross of love," for others?</i>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">If so, then you are walking the good path and loving as Christ loved.&nbsp; If loving others has always been easy for you, you have not yet been challenged or tested by fire in loving people as Christ loves us.&nbsp; Perhaps you've been tested repeatedly in the past and finally passed the test--chances are, God will give you a re-quiz later to keep you sharp!&nbsp; Loving others as Christ loved us is a rugged cross on a narrow road, my friends.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">One day in the summer of 2012, I had received a phone call from a, "frenemy," who for whatever reason had decided to call me up and badger me...about, well, a lot of things.&nbsp; She was rude, crass, and extremely hurtful in her words to me.&nbsp; Before the nearly 1-hour conversation was over, she had sneakily insulted me, my daughter, and laughed at my self-deprecation as if it were true and then some.&nbsp; It hit me on a day when I was weak, and it HURT.&nbsp; I mean, it HURT.&nbsp; I went to the pool that afternoon to swim some laps and read in the sun.&nbsp; I was sobbing underneath my sun hat sitting alone in the corner facing a rock wall with my chair back to the pool patrons...I needed my space and then some.&nbsp; I prayed and prayed that God would remove my tender, sensitive spirit and give me a thick skin through which no one could penetrate.&nbsp; I begged Him to just easily and gently remove her from my life.&nbsp; I said, "Lord, I am tired and I am weak.&nbsp; Why do You keep giving me people to deal with who are horrible to me?&nbsp; I am beat.&nbsp; I'm over it.&nbsp; I'm tired of always being <b><i>the one</i></b> to overlook the offenses and reciprocate love."&nbsp; I heard God say, "Be the ONE. Just keep being the ONE."&nbsp; I angrily stopped praying and looked up at the rock wall before me to see ONE, round rock amidst many square ones.&nbsp; Then I again heard God say, "Be the ONE." I thought about that stupid round rock.&nbsp; It made me mad.&nbsp; It was a good symbol of the circle of love and how it comes back to you...how what goes around comes around.&nbsp; How God <i>blesses</i> us when we love the unlovable...in ways too numerous to count.&nbsp; How others can be rigid and crass, but God commands us to be smooth, soft, and loving in our witness and testimony of what He has done for us and who WE ARE because of it.&nbsp; How HE was, "THE ONE," in all of our lives.&nbsp; He was, <i>THE ONE</i>, who loved sacrificially, and now it is <i>our </i>job, as people who bear His name, to pass that sacrificial love onto others.&nbsp; It is who we are supposed to be.&nbsp; It is who we are called to be. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">I hated that rock that day.&nbsp; In my rebellion and pain I didn't want any reminders about being more loving!&nbsp; My attitude was, "Sorry, Lord...I gave at the office and then some!"&nbsp; But I snapped a picture of the rock because when God shows up, it means something, even if you are ticked-off at the time!&nbsp; Since God is my rock, it is perfect that He spoke to me through one.&nbsp; Here is the picture of my rock:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xc32CnVxD_Q/VOTcUtXVkmI/AAAAAAAAEOQ/TYxxClOUpok/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xc32CnVxD_Q/VOTcUtXVkmI/AAAAAAAAEOQ/TYxxClOUpok/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">God has been dealing with me a lot lately on my issues of, "love."&nbsp; He has shown me that though I do not have to set myself up for constant abuse, which WOULD harm my heart and which I AM called to guard, I know that I need to watch that I am not only loving those who love me back.&nbsp; If we cannot, "be the ONE," in the lives of those who are unlovable and sacrificially love in Christ's name and for His glory, our love is vain and selfish.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">So where do we go when we sacrificially give and give and give our love until we are empty...utterly empty?</span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></i></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">We stop expecting to get horizontally refueled and go to the everlasting, <i>vertical</i> source of <i>LOVE--our LORD</i>.&nbsp; We get over our entitlement that others should reciprocate our love and we get on our knees before God and ask <i>Him</i> to refill us.&nbsp; Only He can and only He is able help us to, <i>be the <b>ONE</b></i>.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">Selah and Amen.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><i><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">Much love to you friends~</span></span></span></span></span></i><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Steph&nbsp; </i>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text John-15-12" id="en-NIV-26712"><span class="woj">Related Scriptures:</span></span></span></b></u></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>*&nbsp; </b><u><b>Philippians 2:3</b></u><b>, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves."</b></i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>*&nbsp; </b><u><b>Matthew 7:12</b></u><b>, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."</b></i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>*&nbsp; <u>Matthew 5:44</u>, "</b></i></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."</b></i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b><span class="p" style="font-size: large;">*&nbsp; <u>Matthew 16:24</u>, "</span><span style="font-size: large;">Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'"</span></b></i></span><span class="p"><br /></span> Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-9367710352329093812015-01-13T11:17:00.001-06:002015-01-13T11:19:13.307-06:00And the Word of the Year is...<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Heb-11-1" id="en-KJV-30174">"<i>Now FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen</i>."</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Heb-11-1" id="en-KJV-30174">Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)</span></span></div><br />The Head Pastor of my church, Dr. Jim Congdon, recently challenged us to choose a new, <i>word-of-the-year</i>, for ourselves as he did last year upon the New Year's arrival.&nbsp; He encouraged us to do this because having <i>one word</i> to carry with us daily throughout the year is easier than having so many New Year's resolutions or personal goals to mentally manage.&nbsp; Goals or resolutions are good--they are an important part in taking steps toward improvement.&nbsp; If we don't have a plan or any benchmarks toward it, we won't accomplish much.&nbsp; But if we can also choose a word that summarily covers our biggest needs or desires for personal change, we can better focus and improve our lives in a more simplistic and realistic way.&nbsp; We can also adjust our goals or resolutions <i>around</i> that word giving them deeper purpose and meaning. &nbsp; I also think it is a pretty cool way of remembering years past--whenever we think back to the good and bad that we faced in any particular year, we can now place a word alongside it and recall what God taught us and what He did through those trials and triumphs.<br /><br />My word last year was, <i>patience</i>.&nbsp; I had no problem deciding upon that word quite quickly and even blogged about it (to read search, "<i>Growing the Fruit of Patience</i>").&nbsp; At that point in my life, I knew I needed help in that<i> </i>department the most!&nbsp; But what good is having a, <i>word-of-the-year,</i> if we disregard it after having worked on it for an entire year?&nbsp; So, <i>patience,</i> will continue to be a special word for me...and one I still need daily.<br /><br />This New Year my, "word o' the year," did not come so readily.&nbsp; There are several words of which I could use more in my life at this time:&nbsp; <i>trust</i>, <i>believe</i>, <i>fearless</i>, <i>freedom</i> and <i>hope</i> were all strong contenders.&nbsp; After analyzing them and praying about it, the answer came clearly:&nbsp; (insert drum-roll) <i>FAITH</i>.&nbsp; I think,<i> faith,</i> is a nice merger of all of those words combined, and God has revealed to me that I need some growth in this area--big time!<br /><br />Recently I have experienced some pretty major changes in my life.&nbsp; My husband, Matt, received a big job promotion in October as C.E.O. of, <i>The Kansas Livestock Association</i>. &nbsp; About that same time, I also left the band in which I had been singing for nearly the past two years.&nbsp; There have been other changes this past year at my church and in my personal life that have also required some adjusting and forward-thinking.&nbsp; When change occurs, you have a choice:&nbsp; You either meet the change head-on forging ahead with positive hope and trust, or you ponder and fret over all the possible problems that could now come your way (or like me, you entertain the paradox of both)!&nbsp; I have found myself thinking and praying about things like, <i>"How hard will it be for us to adjust to the new demands on Matt with his new position (???)...he was already super-busy.&nbsp; Will our marriage be okay?&nbsp; Will the added stress and responsibility age Matt faster?&nbsp; Will it take years off his life?&nbsp; What is all this going to look like?&nbsp; Will I be able to travel with Matt as much as he desires and still keep my band afloat?&nbsp; Will I be alone even more now that he will be even busier?&nbsp; Will we be able to stay as close with our daughter and family now?&nbsp; How will we juggle everything?&nbsp; Will I even be able to find appropriate, worthwhile gigs for my new band?&nbsp; What if I don't?&nbsp; What will I do then?&nbsp; Am I even a good enough singer and musician to be trying to do this?&nbsp; Am I too old?&nbsp; I mean, seriously...what if I fail?&nbsp; I've waited two decades to do this music-thing, Lord.&nbsp; This is all I want to do with my life and as You know, it's a hard road."&nbsp;</i> These thoughts have crept-up on me the past few months and found their way into my prayer life, as they should.<br /><br />If you have read my blog much at all, you know I am not a big change girl.&nbsp; Change can be so good and such a blessing.&nbsp; But initially it often brings personal upheaval and/or some loss.&nbsp; We may lose a few things that were actually better or that we liked...or loved.&nbsp; The comfortable and familiar are gone.&nbsp; Change requires new thought and action.&nbsp; It demands a positive outlook and an appreciation of the new perks of the change.&nbsp; It calls for our belief that the new change will be a good one.&nbsp; It challenges us in new ways and forces us to learn new things.&nbsp; We have to take unfamiliar risks and plunge into uncertain realms.&nbsp; It requires us to let go of old ideas and past ways of doing things...and let go of people sometimes, too.&nbsp; It puts us in uncomfortable positions.&nbsp; We are forced to put our trust in God in lieu of people or circumstance.<br /><br />In a person of my personality type (you know--the control-freak type), and when I am operating on my own in my <i>flesh</i> and not with God's help in the <i>Spirit</i>, all of that upheaval typically causes some or all of these ripple effects:&nbsp; sleeplessness, over-analytical thought, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, doubt, distraction, sadness, over-eating, under-eating, over-exercising, under-exercising, worry, obsessive-behaviors and exhaustion.&nbsp; I saw a quote the other day by a Christian author, blogger, speaker and fellow Twitter follower of mine, Kelly Balarie:&nbsp; "<i>Control is pride hidden under a cloak of fear</i>."&nbsp; Ouch.&nbsp; And where does fear comes from?&nbsp; A lack of faith.&nbsp; <br /><br />When we lack faith, we often try to <i>over</i>-control our lives.&nbsp; It's our prideful way of, "pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and moving on."&nbsp; We try to fix it ourselves and put our faith in ourselves to do so.&nbsp; We often read and hear things such as, "Take <i>control</i> of your own life--if YOU don't, who will?!"&nbsp; We know from God's Word that if we know Him and live by His Spirit, we should be able to exhibit <i>self-control</i> in our lives (Galatians 5:22-23).&nbsp; But we also read and hear negative commentary about controlling personality types and people who are so driven by control that they leave others in their wake (including God).&nbsp; Clearly God doesn't want us to just sit back and do nothing with our lives under the misconstrued, aloof idea that since He has ultimate control, what's the point of even trying?!&nbsp; But He also doesn't want us striving and straining in <i>over</i>-control.&nbsp; I grew-up hearing the phrase, "<i>God helps those who help themselves</i>," and even thought for a while in my young years that it was Biblical.&nbsp; Well, it <i>isn't</i>.&nbsp; Helping yourself can be good <i>and</i> bad.&nbsp; There is a fine balance needed in "control," and faith properly placed is the key.&nbsp; God desires for us to utilize control in our lives humbly and healthily.&nbsp; God gave us a brain, mouth, hands, and feet so we can use them.&nbsp; He <i>wants</i> us to use them!&nbsp; But He wants us to use them meekly, giving ultimate control to Him.&nbsp; We must view our lives as vessels or extensions of <i>His</i> strength, <i>His</i> will, and <i>His</i> glory.&nbsp; He wants our confidence to be <i>in Him</i>, not in our own might and efforts and certainly not in man's.<br /><br />On that topic, God also does not want us to allow <i>others</i> to control us in ways that are wasteful, abusive, misguided, or harmful to us.&nbsp; We must be leery of other control-freaks who not only struggle with over-controlling their own lives, but who also want to control <i>ours </i>with<i> their </i>plan for us.&nbsp; These are the people who attempt to manipulate you, over-power you, or prove themselves in prideful ways to you and others.&nbsp; These are the people who lie to you, are uncompromising, have to win at all cost, break promises but expect you to keep yours, and use your weaknesses against you to guilt you into doing or believing what they want.&nbsp; These are the people who have different rules for you than they do for themselves.&nbsp; These are the people who expect you to trust them, but haven't behaved in ways that warrant that trust.&nbsp; In situations where you are feeling controlled and it is causing your faith to waiver, the best action to take is to bring the control back to the best and ultimate source of it--<i>The Lord</i>.&nbsp; We must place <i>our</i> control (<i>and</i> the other person's) under <i>His</i> authority alone by tapping into the motivational sources of His Word, prayer, wisdom, diligence, rest, strength, trust, obedience, hope, love, and FAITH.&nbsp; We can effectively use control and self-control in our lives in faithful and fruitful ways when we understand Who is <i>really</i> in control and <i>give</i> Him that control.&nbsp; We must seek to please and trust Him only.&nbsp; When we do that, control is no longer a self-centered, prideful, mismanaged, disillusioned, stressful way of handling our lives out of fear, pride, and lack of faith.&nbsp; It is also no longer a manipulative, defeating tool used effectively by others in our lives.&nbsp; Instead control flows out of us as an act of worship, discipline, perseverance, and FAITH in working to joyfully live a life that trusts in God alone and seeks to please Him alone.<br /><br />The following verses state clearly that we are called to <i>do</i> things on our own in <i>faith</i> and take a certain amount of control of our lives understanding from Whom our wisdom, help, and plans are truly and ultimately derived.&nbsp; If we do so with much faith and humility, seeking His will and strength above our own (and above pleasing men), He promises to make our paths secure, even when it gets hard and scary:<br /><br />Proverbs 3:5-6, "<i><span class="text Prov-3-5" id="en-NIV-16461">Trust in the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> with all your heart&nbsp;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Prov-3-5">and lean not on your own understanding;&nbsp;</span></span><span class="text Prov-3-6" id="en-NIV-16462">in all your ways submit to Him,</span>&nbsp;</i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span></i><span class="text Prov-3-6"><i>and He will make your paths straight</i>."</span></span> <br /><br />Psalm 37:23, "<i>The steps of a man are established by the <span class="sc">Lord</span>, when He delights in His way</i>."<br /><br />2 Corinthians 10:3-5, "<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-3" id="en-NIV-28975">For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.</span><span class="text 2Cor-10-4" id="en-NIV-28976">&nbsp; The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.</span></i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"><i>&nbsp; We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ</i>."</span> <br /><br />2 Timothy 1:7, "<i>For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control</i>."<br /><br />Philippians 4:13, "<i>I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me</i>."<br /><br />Proverbs 16:9, "<i>The heart of man plans his way, but the <span class="sc">Lord</span> establishes his steps</i>."<br /><br />Colossians 3:23, "<i>Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men</i>." <br /><br />Proverbs 29:25, "<i>The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the <span class="sc">Lord</span> is safe</i>."<br /><br />Jeremiah 29:11, "'<span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><i>For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future</i>.'"</span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647">Isaiah 43: 1-3a, "</span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><i><span class="text Isa-43-1">Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-43-1">I have summoned you by name; you are mine.</span></span><span class="text Isa-43-2" id="en-NIV-18508"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>When you pass through the waters,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-43-2">I will be with you; </span></span><span class="text Isa-43-2">and when you pass through the rivers, t</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-2">hey will not sweep over you.&nbsp; </span></span><span class="text Isa-43-2">When you walk through the fire,&nbsp;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-43-2">you will not be burned;&nbsp;</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-43-2">the flames will not set you ablaze.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><span class="text Isa-43-3" id="en-NIV-18509"><sup class="versenum"></sup>For I am the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> your God,&nbsp;</span></i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span></i><span class="text Isa-43-3"><i>the Holy One of Israel, your Savior</i>."</span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">Luke 12:27-28, "</span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><i><span class="text Luke-12-27" id="en-NIV-25487"><span class="woj">Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.</span></span></i><span class="text Luke-12-28" id="en-NIV-25488"><span class="woj"><i>&nbsp; If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you—you of little faith</i>!"</span></span> </span></span></span><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><br /></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">Isaiah 43: 18-19, "</span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><i><span class="text Isa-43-18" id="en-NIV-18524">Forget the former things;&nbsp;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-43-18">do not dwell on the past.&nbsp;</span></span><span class="text Isa-43-19" id="en-NIV-18525"><sup class="versenum"></sup>See, I am doing a new thing!&nbsp;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-43-19">Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?&nbsp; </span></span><span class="text Isa-43-19">I am making a way in the wilderness&nbsp;</span></i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span></i><span class="text Isa-43-19"><i>and streams in the wasteland</i>."</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Ephesians 6:16, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><i>Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.</i>"</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Hebrews 11:6, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><i>And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him</i>." </span></span></span></span></span><br /><div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">1 Corinthians 16:13, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><span class="text 1Cor-16-13" id="en-NIV-28790"><i>Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong</i>."</span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">2 Corinthians 5:9, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><i>So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him</i>."&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Matthew 17:20, "<i>He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you</i>.'"<span class="p"><br /></span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Galatians 2:20, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><i>I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself for me</i>."&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Ephesians 2:8-9, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><i>For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast</i>."&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">James 1:1-8, "</span></span></span></span></span><i><span class="text Jas-1-2">Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,<sup> </sup>whenever you face trials of many kinds, </span><sup></sup><span class="text Jas-1-3" id="en-NIV-30270">because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.</span><span class="text Jas-1-4" id="en-NIV-30271">&nbsp; Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.</span><span class="text Jas-1-5" id="en-NIV-30272">&nbsp; If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, Who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.</span><span class="text Jas-1-6" id="en-NIV-30273"><sup class="versenum"></sup>&nbsp; But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.</span><span class="text Jas-1-7" id="en-NIV-30274">&nbsp; That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.</span></i><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><i><sup class="versenum"></sup>&nbsp; Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.</i>"<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><b>And my all-time favorite verse:</b>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Romans 8:28, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><span class="text Rom-8-28" id="en-NIV-28145"><i>And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who<sup> </sup>have been called according to His purpose</i>."</span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">As I read over all those well-known, favorite Bible passages, I realize that the recent and somewhat unexpected changes in my life can do two things:&nbsp; 1.&nbsp; They can cause me to fear, doubt, and waiver in my trust of God and try to over-control my life in prideful, faithless over-compensation; or, 2.&nbsp; They can compel me to rely on my Lord more in faith, knowing He will work it all for my good because He loves me and wants the very best for me.&nbsp; Essentially, I can choose fear or I can choose <i>faith</i>.&nbsp; If I believe what I say I believe about God, His character, His love for me, and His plan for my life, then I should trust Him in full faith.&nbsp; If I believe all of those above verses to be true, I should be able to prayerfully and faithfully rest in them.&nbsp; Will everything about the new changes in my life be perfect?&nbsp; No.&nbsp; Will I have hard times this year along with the good times?&nbsp; Yes.&nbsp; Do I need to fear this?&nbsp; No.&nbsp; Our nature is to fear and fret.&nbsp; But if God lives in us and we know Him as our Father, we no longer have to submit to our old nature.&nbsp; Our new nature calls us to have <i>faith</i>.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Before, during, and even after the recent changes in my life occurred, I prayed extensively myself <i>and</i> with Matt about all of them.&nbsp; I even did another one of my 40-day prayer fasts regarding one particular situation.&nbsp; I prayed that if Matt's promotion would be harmful to him or to our marriage in any way, or if it was not God's ultimate desire for us, that he would <i>not</i> get the job.&nbsp; I prayed that if Matt was not the perfect person for the job, that God would move him out of the way and put the best person in the position.&nbsp; I even told my mother to pray this and told her that the members of Matt's Association deserve the best--and that it may not be Matt.&nbsp; After my Matt got the job, my mother told me that she knew when I asked her to pray this that Matt would get the job and that God had already been preparing my heart for the role, too.&nbsp; For me to honestly desire what is best for Matt's Association members over what I may have thought was best for us told her that I had developed a very deep love for the people for whom Matt works.&nbsp; She is right about that.&nbsp; But I also had faith that God knew what was best and anything less than His best just wouldn't be worth it.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">I also prayed endlessly that God would guide me and show me the right path to take in my band situation.&nbsp; I prayed for wisdom, clarity, unfettered truth to be revealed, protection, and God's hand and perfect will over it all.&nbsp; I asked for a clear mind and stable choices.&nbsp; I prayed for Him to change my heart if I was headed in the wrong direction on any level, and petitioned Him to blatantly and obviously reveal the right decision.&nbsp; I asked God to remove any selfishness, fear or vanity in me in the decision I would make, and guide me to the best plan--<i>His</i> plan for me.&nbsp; I prayed that He would show me what would be best for my marriage and for me with regard to my time, my finances, my energy and my future in music.&nbsp; I told Him to guide me to a choice that would actually be best for <i>everyone</i> involved in the band and their true desires going forward.&nbsp; I told Him I want His blessing in my life and that I know that blessing only comes when we are walking the path <i>He</i> desires for us--perhaps He didn't even want me trying to do this anymore.&nbsp; I asked Him yet again to remove the desire to do this music-thing if it is not His will or best plan for me.&nbsp; Knowing that I have prayed all of those things also helps me to rest in the faith that God will take care of me in the changes that have come and that will come. </span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Faith, like trust, requires belief and submitting to it.&nbsp; Faith is a noun and trust is the verb that flows out of that noun.&nbsp; You can't really have one without the other--they are strongly related.&nbsp; If I have faith in someone it follows that I should trust them.&nbsp; If I trust someone, it means I have faith in them.&nbsp; Some would argue that trust goes deeper than faith--that faith is mere belief while trust is the outpouring action based on that belief.&nbsp; Though faith is a noun, there is a fair amount of action wrapped-up in it, too--if faith is believing in something, the action is in the <i>believing.</i>&nbsp; But I think the best definition for, "faith," is found in Hebrews (God's definitions are always much better than man's):</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Heb-11-1" id="en-KJV-30174">"<i>Now FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen</i>." (Hebrews 11:1)</span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></div><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">To me, this means living out our beliefs and hopes in our actions...letting our lives (the evidence) speak louder about our faith than our words do.&nbsp; It means trusting in things we cannot always see and believing in the things for which we hope.&nbsp; Essentially, believing our beliefs and doubting our doubts.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19">Why do we tend to believe our doubts and doubt our beliefs?&nbsp; Personally, I know I struggle with this because bad things<i> do</i> happen to good people.&nbsp; We live on a fallen planet and because of sin, God is not totally in control of everything that goes on down here (and He is certainly not in full control of every person--we are not His pawns).&nbsp; People are flawed and sinful, so they make flawed and sinful decisions.&nbsp; Life is not always fair and things do not always work-out easily or well.&nbsp; Though God is in control of the <i>ultimate</i> or final plan of our lives and of eternity, He is not the ruler of this world presently (2 Corinthians 4:4).&nbsp; God has given the enemy a certain amount of power within boundaries and in a time-frame set by God alone.&nbsp; In John 16:33, we are basically guaranteed that we <i>will</i> have troubles here (as I've said before:&nbsp; death, taxes, change, and now--<i>troubles</i>)!&nbsp; Therefore, I find myself fearing that things won't always work-out well (or how I want or think they should).&nbsp; I don't like pain and suffering.&nbsp; I don't like sorrow.&nbsp; Hardships are just that--they are <i>hard</i> and hard isn't fun.&nbsp; It is difficult to see past the current pain, trial, or uncomfortable change in which we find ourselves and believe that, "<i>...all things [will] work together for good</i>" for us (Romans 8:28).&nbsp; Though that is ultimately true, it isn't always presently true.&nbsp; That verse doesn't say that <i>all things</i> are<i> </i>good--it says they <i>work together</i> for good.&nbsp; It also doesn't say that all things work together for good within six days, six months, six years, or six decades.&nbsp; We don't always see the good that comes from changes or hardships right away.&nbsp; In some cases, we may not see the good until we meet Him face-to-face.&nbsp; Sometimes we feel like we are believing on blind faith that it will work for our good.&nbsp; But if we truly know the Lord and trust Him with our lives, there really is no blind faith.&nbsp; Even a mustard seed faith is faith (Matthew 17:20).&nbsp; We may believe and say that we want God to perfect us and prune all the bad stuff off of us and our lives, but we don't actually love that process.&nbsp; It is a harsh one.&nbsp; When we are walking through the trials and tests in life, it is easy to focus on the first half of John 16:33, "...</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-19"><span class="text John-16-33" id="en-NIV-26760"><span class="woj"><i>In this world you will have trouble</i>," and</span></span> forget the second half,&nbsp; "</span></span></span></span></span><i>But take heart! I have overcome the world</i>."<span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">&nbsp; It takes faith.</span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">We all want to be <i>faithful</i> people...hardworking, honest, disciplined and self-motivated.&nbsp; We desire to see success and fruit come out of the labor of our lives.&nbsp; We want to see our plans turn out well, reach our goals, and <i>believe</i> that the changes in our lives will bring good.&nbsp; We want to <i>believe</i> that we will be victorious, not defeated or harmed by those changes.&nbsp; We want to <i>trust</i> that 2015 will be a good year--a year in which we humbly learn what God wants us to learn, enjoy the blessings that God has given, and bring glory to God in all we do.&nbsp; All of this takes <i>faith</i>.&nbsp; Without it, fear and over-control begin to take root.&nbsp; When we live a life fueled on faith, love reigns.&nbsp; Hope endures.&nbsp; Peace permeates us.&nbsp; Joy pours out of us.&nbsp; We self-motivate through our faith and through the power of the Holy Spirit.&nbsp; When we do, "control" becomes a blessing of discipline and endurance adorned with gentleness and patience--not a curse cloaked in a flurry of fear.&nbsp; Our actions become an outlet for our faith which reveals itself in our hard-work, creativity, abilities and talents in ways that bless God, others and even us.&nbsp; </span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">The faithless, fearful fuel that causes us to strive in prideful over-control runs empty and drains us.&nbsp; But</span></span></span> with faith firmly founded in Christ, </span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">good things can endlessly and freely flow.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">A friend of mine encouraged me regarding facing so many unknowns with the new changes in my life with the phrase, "<i>Good takes care of good</i>."&nbsp; In other words, </span></span></span><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3"><span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-43-3">when we do our best to live righteously, humbly, mercifully and lovingly, things have a way of working out.</span></span></span> Good things come and God takes care of us when we seek Him and His ways.&nbsp; His Word promises us that we reap what we sow (Gal. 6:7).&nbsp; I want to sow faith.&nbsp; In response to all my fears and doubts about how all the new changes in my life are going to look, I close with this:&nbsp; God's got this, and I have <i>faith</i>.</span></span></span><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NliIRIfJ8II/VLVGH48vX2I/AAAAAAAAELs/FKOejl4ri5o/s1600/Blog%2BPic%2BSt%2BPete%2BFL%2B2.10.13..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NliIRIfJ8II/VLVGH48vX2I/AAAAAAAAELs/FKOejl4ri5o/s1600/Blog%2BPic%2BSt%2BPete%2BFL%2B2.10.13..jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(Shot by me, on 2.10.13, @ St. Pete Beach, FL.&nbsp; Loved this little guy.&nbsp; He stood and looked-out on that water for the longest time and then took a step of faith toward it.&nbsp; The water was so big to him.&nbsp; It was uncertain.&nbsp; But eventually he waded, and he had the time of his life!&nbsp; Faith...what is God asking YOU to step-out in faith toward this year?&nbsp; Trust Him!&nbsp; Have faith and have the time of your life!).</div><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-23202896869948068682014-12-18T13:42:00.001-06:002014-12-18T13:42:56.066-06:00Earning the Gift<div style="text-align: center;"><h2><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" </i></span></b></span></h2></div><div style="text-align: center;"><h2><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>2 Corinthians 9:15</i></span></b></span><span class="p"><br /></span></h2></div><br /><br />After yet another three-month hiatus, I am compelled to write this blog after speaking with several women lately regarding the, "Christmas crunch."&nbsp; I can totally relate to their overwhelming feelings of exhaustion, panic, and rush regarding all the holiday shopping, unwrapped gifts and unfinished baking that still remain on the do-list amidst all the Christmas programs, parties, and ministries that demand our attention and drain our time and energy.&nbsp; Most years I begin the Christmas season a solid two-weeks behind due to traveling to be with family the week of Thanksgiving and then spending the entire next at my husband's annual work convention.&nbsp; This leaves me about two weeks to do it all.&nbsp; Believe me, I get it.<br /><br />Add to that, for the past 27-years of our marriage, our family has had between five and six Christmas gatherings within about seven days.&nbsp; We still typically travel to five different houses during the week of Christmas.&nbsp; It isn't that I don't enjoy each of those gatherings or seeing the people that we see.&nbsp; But it is a lot within one week, (and for nearly 30 years), especially when you are carting gifts and food to most of those houses and trying to do so around a fair amount of luggage. &nbsp; <br /><br />I used to get completely stressed-out every year about Christmas.&nbsp; Jesus being, "the reason for the season," seemed like an afterthought with all I had to accomplish in such a short time.&nbsp; In recent years I have finally learned there is much of which I have to, "let go" in order to stay focused on the Person for which this holiday exists (and in order to actually enjoy CHRISTmas)!&nbsp; Most of you know that I am a recovering perfectionist.&nbsp; Well, Christmas is no exception.&nbsp; I spent most of my twenties and thirties sleeping less during the month of December than any human should, trying to find the perfect gifts, wrap them perfectly, bake the perfect food (that can transport well, not need baked or reheated in someone else's oven, and be tasty upon arrival), decorate the perfect tree and house, maintain a perfectly clean home, attend ALL the Christmas parties to which I was invited (and take food to most of those), serve in a number of capacities and ministries at church, and on and on it went. By the time it was all over, I had typically done some or all of the following:&nbsp; yelled unreasonably at Matt (typically for something stupid), yelled unreasonably at Allie (again for something stupid), cried (and I'm sorry, but there should be no crying at Christmas), failed to read my Bible and pray daily, felt undervalued or unappreciated for all the work I had killed myself doing, and ended the season ill from the lack of sleep and strain under which I had placed myself (or allowed others to place me).&nbsp; Finally, I have seen the light and have said, "Stop the madness!"&nbsp; If you have even once lashed-out at your family from Christmas stress, I would urge you, too:&nbsp; "Get off the crazy Christmas train!"<br /><br />Since I have had two weeks to prepare for Christmas again this year, I have attended far less Christmas parties.&nbsp; I have served in only one capacity at church--leading worship a couple of Sundays.&nbsp; I have bought a lot more gift cards this year versus spending days trudging through malls and stores looking for things that people will return later anyway (besides, people love to shop the after-Christmas sales, and they can usually get a lot more bang for their buck then anyway)!&nbsp; I plan to use a lot of gift bags this year (no, my gifts aren't wrapped yet, and I'm not hyperventilating about it).&nbsp; My house is dusty and I do not care.&nbsp; We have not even put up the tree yet, and since we will be spending Christmas with our only child and her husband at my parents' house (in order to save time and simplify two Christmases into one), we probably won't bother.&nbsp; But I have spent time serving others who genuinely need it and where I have felt called to do so these past two weeks.&nbsp; I have enjoyed my life and spent time listening to friends and family members who have needed an ear.&nbsp; I have plunged myself into private worship numerous times listening to all my favorite Christmas worship songs.&nbsp; I have prayed hard for friends who are battling things much more heavy and crucial than holiday decorating and do-lists, like children with cancer and marriages that are falling apart.&nbsp; I have spent time working to make a special day for my guy, T-bone, for his December birthday (since he feels it gets, "forgotten" in the Christmas craziness). &nbsp; I have spent much time quietly listening to my T-bone talk about his work and the things he faces in his new position, and praying hard for him.&nbsp; Nothing major in the eyes of most...but yet, important.<br /><br />If the Stephanie from Christmas past met the Stephanie from Christmas present, she might think an alien has taken-up residency in my body!&nbsp; The old me is tempted to say, "Gosh...have I gotten lazy?&nbsp; Am I depressed?" But the new me says, "<i>No!&nbsp; Stop it, girl!&nbsp; The reality is:&nbsp; Finally!&nbsp; I am happy at Christmas! I am living the abundant life He desires for me instead of the perfectionist nightmare I lived for years!</i>"&nbsp; As you fellow perfectionists know, you beat yourself up for miserably over-extending yourself and then likewise, do the same when you <i>under</i>-extend.&nbsp; I'm 44-years old and I'm done with the whole, beating-myself-up-thing.&nbsp; My heart has moved from feeling urged to do the <i>expected</i> to doing only those ministries and tending to those people to which God has truly called me.&nbsp; My heart has moved from falling prey to the appearance of, "having and doing it all" at Christmas to a quiet, contented, still heart that seeks to worship the King alone and serve Him with gladness in areas that to many would seem small.&nbsp; I have thoroughly enjoyed the Christmas decorations and trees at my church and everywhere else I've gone...and they didn't require stress or loss of sleep!&nbsp; I guess one could say I have had a humbling Christmas.&nbsp; But isn't that the real point of Christmas?&nbsp; To quiet and humble our hearts before Him Who came into this world and humbled Himself for us?&nbsp; I am grateful I serve a God Who doesn't require or demand glitz, flare, or perfection in my worship and celebration of Him and His birth.<br /><br />Why do we put ourselves through so much striving during this sacred time of year?&nbsp; In our defense, I do believe a lot of it is our honest desire to create a special celebration for our very special Savior.&nbsp; I think we very much want to show God that we HONOR His Son.&nbsp; But on the flip side, I think it is very easy for us to move from <i>that </i>onto the slippery slope of appearances and show.&nbsp; We want to prove we are a great wife.&nbsp; We want to prove we are a diversely creative and caring mom, daughter, sister, grand-daughter, aunt, cousin, neighbor, or friend...like everyone else we know and see on Facebook, right?!&nbsp; We want to prove we are an avid believer and devout Christian by our good deeds and holiday spirit.&nbsp; <span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj">But what good do any of the good deeds and appearances really do if our hearts are stinky after killing ourselves doing it all?&nbsp; </span></span>Some of the problem lies in the fact that we very much want to, <i>earn the gift</i>, or "prove" we appreciate the free gift of salvation we have through Jesus.&nbsp; It <i>is</i> important and good to show God we love Him by serving Him cheerfully and by giving generously to the needy and others this time of year.&nbsp; We know from the book of James, Chapter 2 that our faith is dead without actions or works to back it up.&nbsp; But we also know that our good deeds must flow out of our faith--not out of a desire to earn our salvation, brag on ourselves, prove a point, win, or in a pious attempt to, "be the Holy Spirit" to others who we think need conviction toward our same callings.&nbsp; We should only do good works out of a heart full of love for God, for His glory, as a testimony of our faith, and in grateful response to His precious gift to us--Jesus.&nbsp; We can do many things <b><i>in</i></b> His name but we can <b><i>never </i><i>earn</i></b> that gift (Ephesians 2:8-9, "<i><span class="text Eph-2-8" id="en-NIV-29238">For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—</span> </i><span class="text Eph-2-9" id="en-NIV-29239"><i>not by works, so that no one can boast</i></span>).&nbsp; So doing good works in reciprocation of God's great love and free gift of salvation to us requires caution.&nbsp; Our motives and hearts must be pure.&nbsp; In Matthew 6: 1-4 we read, "<i><span class="text Matt-6-1"><span class="woj">Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.&nbsp; If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.</span></span><span class="text Matt-6-2" id="en-NIV-23285"><span class="woj">&nbsp; So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-6-3" id="en-NIV-23286"><span class="woj">But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,</span></span> </i><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><i>so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, Who sees what is done in secret, will reward you</i>."&nbsp; God is not a God of appearances (1 Samuel 16:7)--He doesn't care that my house is dusty and that I have not decorated like Martha Stewart this year.&nbsp; He just wants my heart and wants to see me give it away to others in the ways He urges.&nbsp; </span></span><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj">If out of our competitive and comparative natures we seek to appear to have it all but our hearts are too burdened and busy to offer up genuine love, friendship, and kindness to those in our own sphere of influence we actually have nothing.</span></span>&nbsp; All our work is in vain.</span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj">I am glad I serve a God Who says we cannot earn His free gift of salvation through Jesus.&nbsp; Not only because I would be in serious trouble if I had to earn or prove my way into Heaven, but also because what kind of Christmas would it really be if everyone of us had to work for the gifts we are about to receive from our loved ones next week?!&nbsp; God is far more gracious, compassionate, merciful, and giving than our loved ones, and even <i>they </i>aren't expecting us to work in return for our gifts from them!&nbsp; God's attributes provoke me to worship Him.&nbsp; They beckon me to serve Him humbly, give Him the glory for all good, and praise Him for His gift of Jesus.&nbsp; In response to God's great gift, He doesn't expect grandeur and show, and I praise Him for that, too.&nbsp; I'm fresh out of that--it is an endless vacuum of emptiness to me, sucking our lives dry of all the really good stuff.&nbsp; He just desires for our hearts to be pure before Him and others.&nbsp; He wants us to willingly offer up our honest worship to Him and lavishly give gifts to our families and friends that are <i>timeless</i>--like genuine love, a selfless attitude, and a caring heart.&nbsp; I wish you all a truly blessed Christmas and a happy New Year!</span></span><br /><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><b>Simple Living at Christmas and Always!:</b></span></span><br /><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><b>Micah 6:8</b>, <i>"</i></span></span><i><span class="text Mic-6-8" id="en-NIV-22657">He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Mic-6-8">And what does the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> require of you?</span></span><span class="text Mic-6-8"> To act justly and to love mercy</span><span class="indent-1"> <span class="text Mic-6-8">and to walk humbly<sup> </sup>with your God."</span></span></i><br /><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cGMrV58mU6A/VJMgvBYVNgI/AAAAAAAAEDs/U4XxH8HoloE/s1600/IMG_0233.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cGMrV58mU6A/VJMgvBYVNgI/AAAAAAAAEDs/U4XxH8HoloE/s1600/IMG_0233.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Matt-6-4" id="en-NIV-23287"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span></div>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-77497108775839889132014-09-25T22:19:00.003-05:002014-09-26T11:18:19.345-05:00Heaven Blog Part Two: Mansions, But No Marriage!<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"> <i><b>[Jesus said,] "</b></i></span><i><b><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-2" id="en-NKJV-26671"><span class="woj">In My Father’s house are many mansions;</span><span class="woj">&nbsp; if it were not so, I would have told you.&nbsp; I go to prepare a place for you.</span></span><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj">&nbsp; And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also."</span></span></span></b></i></span></span><i><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520">John 14:2-3</span></span></span></b></i></div><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Well, friends, it's only taken me six weeks to post Part Two of my, "Heaven Blog."&nbsp; That is due to my struggle in editing to a reasonable length more than my being too busy to write (yes, sadly I really did edit this)!&nbsp; But thanks for bearing with me and coming back.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I mentioned in <i>Part One</i> that my, "big issue" with Heaven needed its own post (it probably needed two)!&nbsp; From my title you can probably guess what it is:&nbsp; Yes, I am not pleased that there is <i>no marriage in Heaven.</i>&nbsp; Perhaps some of you feel the same way (and the rest of you will think I am crazy after reading this)!&nbsp; But we know there is no marriage in Heaven based on Jesus' teachings in Matthew 22 (as well as, from other Scriptures: Luke 20:34-36, Mark 12:22-25, &amp; Romans 7:1-25).&nbsp; In Matthew 22 (I'll choose<i> it</i> as my primary reference in honor of my husband, <i>Matthew</i>), Jesus is speaking to the Sadducees, one of the ruling councils of both a religious and political nature in Israel, at the time.&nbsp; They were basically wealthy aristocrats who ran things and thought they knew it all:</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i>Matthew 22:23-30, &nbsp; </i></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i><span class="text Matt-22-23"><sup class="versenum">23 </sup>"The same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Him and asked Him, </span> <span class="text Matt-22-24" id="en-NKJV-23897"><sup class="versenum">24&nbsp;</sup>saying: 'Teacher, Moses said that if a man dies, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife and raise up offspring for his brother. </span> <span class="text Matt-22-25" id="en-NKJV-23898"><sup class="versenum">25&nbsp;</sup>Now there were with us seven brothers. The first died after he had married, and having no offspring, left his wife to his brother. </span> <span class="text Matt-22-26" id="en-NKJV-23899"><sup class="versenum">26&nbsp;</sup>Likewise the second also, and the third, even to the seventh. </span> <span class="text Matt-22-27" id="en-NKJV-23900"><sup class="versenum">27&nbsp;</sup>Last of all the woman died also. </span> <span class="text Matt-22-28" id="en-NKJV-23901"><sup class="versenum">28&nbsp;</sup>Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had her.'</span></i></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i> <span class="text Matt-22-29" id="en-NKJV-23902"><sup class="versenum">29&nbsp;</sup>Jesus answered and said to them, <span class="woj">'You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God.</span> </span> </i><span class="text Matt-22-30" id="en-NKJV-23903"><i><sup class="versenum">30&nbsp;</sup><span class="woj">For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God</span><span class="woj"> in Heaven.'"</span></i></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text Matt-22-30" id="en-NKJV-23903"><i><span class="woj">&nbsp;</span></i> </span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> I have known for years that there is no marriage in Heaven--it isn't like I just read this passage.&nbsp; But for some reason this fact has really been tripping-me-up all summer.&nbsp; I say this often, but it is so strange how we can know something and not really "know" it. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I recall one friend, whose life's purpose and greatest mission has been to have several children, home-school them, and raise them to be followers of Christ.&nbsp; Years ago in a Bible study on Heaven, this friend shared that she was devastated that we will not have babies in Heaven.&nbsp; She chuckled about it as she shared, but I know she was serious.&nbsp; She LOVES her kiddos and being a mom has been her life's work (and she has done it with great passion and flair)!&nbsp; Now, I <i>love</i> kids--I even taught young children for 16-years.&nbsp; But I remember laughing out-loud at her comment and thinking, "<i>Wow.&nbsp; I guess I am not very maternal because I am DONE with having kids, even now with only having ONE.&nbsp; I CERTAINLY don't want to have babies for all of eternity</i>!" &nbsp; Some of you will read this post and similarly, laugh at me for my thoughts about marriage.&nbsp; Touche`!</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">We know from Scripture that in Heaven we will no longer <i>need</i> marriage because we, the church, will be united in marriage as ONE BRIDE <i>to</i> Christ and as ONE BODY <i>in</i> Christ.&nbsp; We will finally be in one, unified, happy marriage to Him, our perfect Husband.&nbsp; In the Bible, Jesus is often referred to as, <i>the Bridegroom, </i>and the church as, <i>the Bride</i> of Christ (Revelation 21:1-2, John 3:29, Matthew 25:1-13).&nbsp; In Ephesians 5:25-30, we read this again, as well as, our clear, yet temporal purpose for marriage here on Earth:</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i><span class="text Eph-5-25" id="en-ESV-29313"><sup class="versenum">25 </sup>"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,</span> <span class="text Eph-5-26" id="en-ESV-29314"><sup class="versenum">26&nbsp;</sup>that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,</span> <span class="text Eph-5-27" id="en-ESV-29315"><sup class="versenum">27&nbsp;</sup>so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.</span> <span class="text Eph-5-28" id="en-ESV-29316"><sup class="versenum">28&nbsp;</sup>In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.</span> <span class="text Eph-5-29" id="en-ESV-29317"><sup class="versenum">29&nbsp;</sup>For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,</span> <span class="text Eph-5-30" id="en-ESV-29318"><sup class="versenum">30&nbsp;</sup>because we are members of His body."</span></i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text Eph-5-30" id="en-ESV-29318">Paul wrote this letter to the church at Ephesus sometime around 60 A.D<i>, </i>and this passage is still used in wedding ceremonies all over the world today.&nbsp; Why have these words remained in discussions of marriage for this long?&nbsp; Well, for obvious reasons, because they are <i>God's</i> <i>words</i>, which we know will last forever (1 Peter 1:25, Isaiah 40:8).&nbsp; But they are also relevant nearly 2,000 years later because they not only tell us our purpose for marriage now, but also speak of Christ's selfless love for us as part of His very own body.&nbsp; We are essentially practicing "oneness" and "selfless love" in our earthly marriages <i>and</i> in our churches.&nbsp; God wants us to understand these unions, value them, and be ready to live it all out eternally when we are united together with Christ.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">We also know from Scripture that in Heaven, the church (those who believed and trusted Christ as their Savior) is united with Christ in a wedding ceremony unlike any other:&nbsp; <i>Revelation 19:7, "</i><i><span class="text Rev-19-7" id="en-NIV-31025">Let us rejoice and be glad </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Rev-19-7">and give Him glory!</span></span><span class="text Rev-19-7">&nbsp; For the wedding of the Lamb has come,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Rev-19-7">and His bride has made herself ready."</span></span></i> &nbsp; This all sounds grand and wonderful--who wouldn't agree that the church living as, <i>one</i>, together in perfect unity and joy will be a marvelous thing?!&nbsp; But as I pondered the reality of that and what it will truly look like, I was faced with the fact that my earthly marriage will be no more.&nbsp; <i>No more</i>.&nbsp; No more Matt and Steph.&nbsp; No more T-bone and Brownie.&nbsp; Would my Matt be just another face in a very big, heavenly crowd?&nbsp; Would he not even be that big of a deal to me anymore? Suddenly the glory of Heaven seemed a little less glorious to me. &nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">In his recent sermon series on Heaven, the Pastor of my church, Dr. Jim Congdon, assured our congregation that we will recognize each other in Heaven (though we <i>will</i> look differently with altered, glorified bodies) and that we will be reunited there with our loved ones.&nbsp; But he also said our relationships <i>will change </i>in Heaven.&nbsp; We will <i>all</i> love one another, but our focus will be on <i>God</i>.&nbsp; We will be caught-up in our worship of Him and in praising Him, delighting-in Him, and working for Him and His glory.&nbsp; As great as all that sounded, I began to REALLY struggle with the fearful idea of no longer living with Matt in marriage or having the same, special relationship with my daughter, Allie, that I have now.&nbsp; I began to think strange and negative thoughts like, "<i>Why do we spend our entire lives learning to sacrificially love our spouses and our families, and developing these deep, meaningful, precious relationships with them only to go to Heaven for eternity to have a generalized, equalized love for everyone?&nbsp; If marriage is a picture and symbol of the covenant between Christ and the church, why would God end that completely in Heaven for all eternity</i>?<i>&nbsp; Wasn't that a pretty special covenant, I mean, come on, God?!&nbsp; So then what IS the </i></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i>point of marriage and family here on earth if it is all going to be irrelevant in Heaven in the scope of God's glory, everybody loving everybody else, and eternity?&nbsp; I shudder to think marriage is just for procreation, sexual pleasure, and nothing else.</i></span></span>&nbsp; <i>Are you kidding me, God</i>?" &nbsp; I began to pour my heart out through tears to God praying all these things and saying, "<i>God, why would all the relational work we have done here no longer really matter in Heaven if everything is going to be perfect anyway and we're all going to love each other anyway</i>?<i>&nbsp;</i> <i>What is the purpose of all this?&nbsp; I cannot even imagine not having a close or special relationship with Matt and Allie.&nbsp; It sickens me to my core to think that they won't be any more special to me in Heaven than anyone else!"&nbsp; </i>Every time I prayed about it, I would end-up bawling bitterly and feeling heartbroken.&nbsp; The more I thought about it, the worse it got.&nbsp; It felt like I have about 40-years left to love on Matt, my only child, Allie, and my close family and friends (God willing and if I'm incredibly blessed).&nbsp; After that, my relationships <i>as I've known them </i>will sort of vaporize for all eternity due to my being captivated by, <i>the glory of the Lord</i>.&nbsp; It got so bad that at one point, I began to angrily feel like I'd been thrown into already grieving the loss of my husband, as if the feelings, memories, and relationship I have with him here on earth were now even<i> more </i>precious because one day they would no longer matter (and in Heaven, perhaps I wouldn't even recall most of them).&nbsp; I feared that once in Heaven, my memory and perception would be so altered with the glory of God that I wouldn't even care or realize that I was ever married to Matt.&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">For days after the initial, plaguing thoughts of this, I could barely speak of it.</span></span></span></span>&nbsp; I was unexpectedly thrown into this odd, deep sadness, and every time I attempted to share my feelings and thoughts with Matt, I'd </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">burst into tears and be unable to get myself out of the funk in which I found myself.&nbsp;</span></span></span></span>&nbsp; One day while chatting in the car about it all, I cried so much I had no makeup left on my face--and we were on our way to a nice dinner out (I was forced to go, "au naturel" that night)!&nbsp; Poor Matt would lovingly try to reassure me that though I <i>would</i> be captivated by The Lord, I would still remember <i>him</i>, too.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">The silver-lining in all this grief was I realize how deeply I love my husband.&nbsp; The guy is in my cellular makeup, as I once heard someone say.</span></span>&nbsp; </span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I found myself thinking even more odd and crazy things.&nbsp; I found myself staring at the scar on Matt's hand and thinking to myself, "<i>In Heaven, it will be gone.&nbsp; But I LIKE the scar--it is a distinguishing characteristic on his body that I love</i>."&nbsp; Matt got the scar of which I am speaking from a farm injury as a young teenager, and when we dated I remember asking him about it for the first time.&nbsp; I remember touching it and Matt flinching.&nbsp; I said, "<i>Oh, sorry.&nbsp; Does it hurt?</i>"&nbsp; Matt replied, "<i>It's just tender and has this weird sensation now--the nerve endings are damaged there, I guess</i>."&nbsp; So then throughout our dating, the scar became the object of a fun, flirtatious joke--every time I held that hand, I acted like I was going to caress it and he'd flinch.&nbsp; This little joke has carried over into our marriage and I still tease him about it on occasion.&nbsp; I love that stupid scar... (and for some reason, T-bone still buys into the fear that I'm actually going to touch it)!&nbsp; It's just a silly imperfection, but it's a part of Matt to me.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">This got me thinking about these, "perfected" bodies we are going to have in Heaven.&nbsp; Now I'm all about no one having sickness, pain, or disabilities in eternity.&nbsp; Those are just no fun at all.&nbsp; But if Jesus still had His scars after His resurrection (John 20:27), I'm not so sure we aren't going to have a few of ours, as well.&nbsp; Besides, what is perfect in our minds is probably not always deemed perfect in God's.&nbsp; Some blemishes aren't really blemishes...and some scars are perfect.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">The ridiculous thoughts continued.&nbsp; I found myself staring at all Matt &amp; Allie's physical features so as to appreciate and take them all in before they are gone for all of eternity...before they turn into these, "other, altered" beings.&nbsp; I found myself lying next to Matt in bed in uncomfortable positions for lengthy periods so as not to disturb his sleep.&nbsp; I wanted him to sleep as well as possible so he will live as long as possible (later realizing that in my lack of sleeping, I am shortening my <i>own</i> life and time with him)!&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Suffice it to say, I've been on a weird and unexpected spiritual journey the past few months. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp; </span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Don't get me wrong--it isn't that I don't want to have loads of deep and loving relationships in Heaven, or that I don't want to share Matt and Allie with anyone else in Heaven.&nbsp; I don't even really believe I am struggling with Heaven being God-centered (as long as</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> <i>some </i>of my thoughts and focus can be on my family and other loved ones).&nbsp; </span></span>Quite frankly, I'm one of those people who LIKES the idea of Heaven being a constant church and praise service (because singing and leading worship are pretty much my favorite things to do)!&nbsp; I guess I just can't and don't WANT to fathom my marital and family memories drifting away.&nbsp; I cannot stand the thought of the special love I have with Matt, Allie, my parents, and other loved ones fading into the distant past in the scope of, "<i>eternity</i>," and the, "<i>glory of God</i>."&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Each time I battled these thoughts, I fretted that perhaps the issue is that I love Matt and Allie more than God.&nbsp; I mean, if I don't want my entire thoughts and focus in Heaven to be constantly on, <i>The Lord</i>, perhaps there's an issue here with my love for Him.&nbsp; So then <i>that</i> thought would make me totally overwhelmed, tearful, and fearful that God would get me for it.&nbsp; I would pray, "<i>Lord, it's just that I don't want to go to Heaven and become a programmed robot who is so focused on You I no longer really remember my loved ones in a special way. I hate the thought that I'll see Matt in Heaven and say, 'Hey, I think we used to be married?!&nbsp; Well, maybe I'll run into you again sometime in next 40-50 years!&nbsp; See ya!&nbsp; I gotta go weed the gardens now for, The King!</i>'"&nbsp; As I prayed these goofy prayers, I began to clearly see that I DO have an issue with Heaven being totally God-focused.&nbsp; I want to be ME, as I am now (yet perfected), and I want to give attention to those I love and have our love remain.&nbsp; I even recall thinking one day, "<i>Why do You have to be so self-centered, God</i>?! <i>Why would you NOT want us to think of others in Heaven?&nbsp; You've spent an inordinate amount of time telling us to love others and trying to teach us to do so here on Earth!&nbsp; So then why does Heaven have to be all about YOU?!</i>"&nbsp; Amazing...He didn't even strike me with lightening.&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Suddenly a thought I've never had before plagued me:&nbsp; <i>If I am going to arrive in Heaven and be so overcome by the power, majesty, and glory of the Lord that I no longer think of or care about Matt and Allie anymore than anyone else, I don't know if I want to go</i>.&nbsp; And then another thought:&nbsp; <i>Death really IS death.&nbsp; Everything dies but our love for God.&nbsp; It's all going to be gone.&nbsp; Everything.&nbsp; </i>Still another horrible thought:&nbsp; <i>If this is true, how will I ever cope and survive the loss of my husband or God-forbid, my daughter?&nbsp; What we have had will never be again.</i></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Jesus said in His Father's kingdom there are many mansions (John 14:2).&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I have wondered about that because if we're going to be busy being caught-up in the glory of God and nothing else will matter, why do we need mansions?&nbsp; This thought was one of many that began to snap me out of the crazy fears I was having about Heaven.&nbsp; Obviously, we are not going to just be caught-up in the glory of the Lord all the time, and if we are, then I guess we will finally be able to properly multitask!&nbsp; Our work will always be pleasurable because it will finally be 100% God-centered and God-anointed.&nbsp; We know that we will work in Heaven, and that the work we do here is going to be related to what we will do there (as if we are in training for it now).&nbsp; So clearly we will have other thoughts.&nbsp; All I know is, I don't want to share a mansion in Heaven with anyone else but Matt, and I don't want my marriage to be non-existent and unremembered for eternity.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> I don't want Matt to become this person who is now in equal measure with everyone else in my eyes.&nbsp; As blissful as all that perfect unity stuff sounds, it kills me to think that my husband could no longer hold a higher place in my heart and life in Heaven as he does here.&nbsp; Perhaps that sounds, "needy."&nbsp; I don't like to think of myself like that and pride myself that I fly solo quite a lot and do just fine.&nbsp; I guess I just really love my husband.&nbsp; If that makes me, "needy," then so be it.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I know that in Heaven, we will be so, "whole" in the presence of the Lord that we will not feel loneliness, separation, or "need" for anything.&nbsp; He will be all we need.&nbsp; We will just be "needy" for God!&nbsp; But there is an earthly, doubting-Thomas side of me that doesn't fully grasp this--to no longer feel "need" for Matt feels like brain-washing to me, because I DO need him (or I <i>did</i>).&nbsp; I guess I like the thought of God being #1 in Heaven, and Matt being #2.&nbsp; I don't like the thought of God being #1, and everyone else in the heavenly realm being #2 in my life--because sorry, most of the people in Heaven aren't going to have meant a thing to me down here!&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I just want my heavenly relationships to include all the people I love but without all the problems.&nbsp; I guess the reality is, I want Heaven <i>my</i> way.&nbsp; Ugh.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Part of my problem is my perfectionist side thinks it knows best--and it desires for things to just be "right."&nbsp; One day in Heaven it all will be...and all my fears and doubts about these things will be gone.&nbsp; I realize how simple-minded I really am--all I really can fathom is what is in front of me.&nbsp; My mother has often lovingly told me that I am such a, "doubting-Thomas."&nbsp; Faith has always been a hard thing for me--maybe it's personality issues and flaws, maybe it's growing-up poor and without a father my entire young life, or perhaps I'm just shallow and sinful.&nbsp; Maybe it's all of that.</span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">After ultimately learning from this sermon series that </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">there will be no mind-altering or memory-erasing in Heaven, and that </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">God is not going to completely rid the new Heaven and new Earth of the beauty we have enjoyed here, </span></span>I was disgusted and ashamed of myself.&nbsp; </span></span>First, that I would concoct doubt that the God of the Universe would be incapable of out-doing Himself, creatively-speaking. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp; </span></span>Second, that I would think that He would come here to suffer and die out of love for us all, give us a CHOICE to believe in Him and love Him, but upon our death, would suddenly make us blind, brain-swiped pawns in some perfected little game for His glory and ego for all of eternity.&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">If God did this, we would not recognize people or even care to recall them, and we know clearly from Scripture we are reunited with loved ones.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Pastor Jim shared further that </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">before the fall of man in, The Garden, Earth was perfect.&nbsp; So why would God hit delete altogether?!&nbsp; Likewise, </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">God would not erase all our memories or the mindful reality of the love we have shared with those with whom we have lived our very lives.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">We can trust that all</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> the earthly creations <i>and </i>relationships to which God has put His hand will not be gone forever, but will only be perfected and heightened in Heaven</span></span>.&nbsp; Only the good stuff will remain.&nbsp; Pastor Jim summed this up by saying there will be some, <u><b><i>carry over</i></b></u> in Heaven from this earth to eternity, with a<i> </i>big,<i> <u><b>make-over</b></u></i>, and with <u><b>God &amp; Christ <i>over all</i></b></u>.&nbsp; Now <i>that</i> sounds good to me.&nbsp; (In turn, I guess I need to get <b><i>over</i></b> my doubts and fears, and trust that the heavenly <i><b>over-haul</b></i> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">will be better than I can even imagine)!</span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I guess I didn't really get it until now.&nbsp; I've heard hundreds of times that marriage is a picture or symbol of Christ and the church.&nbsp; I have understood that the earthly covenant of marriage is much like Old Testament law.&nbsp; The law was good, necessary, and provided guidance and protection to God's people.&nbsp; It kept them in righteous fellowship with Him until Christ came to <i>over-ride</i> it with the grace of His perfect gift of salvation.&nbsp; Once Jesus came, the "law" was no longer needed in order for God's people to stay in fellowship with Him.&nbsp; They no longer needed to make sacrifices for their sins because the perfect sacrifice, Jesus, had finally come, and left His Spirit with them for guidance and protection.&nbsp; Likewise, when we are finally united with Christ, earthly marriage will no longer be needed.&nbsp; We will be in a perfect covenant with Jesus.&nbsp; We will no longer need to procreate because we will have arrived at the unknown number of those God desires to have in His eternal church.&nbsp; We will also no longer derive our spiritual and physical pleasure from sex because we will have a union unlike any we have ever known and will get our "highs" in ways far super-ceding our current outlets.&nbsp; Essentially, all joy and pleasure that we have experienced here on Earth will pale in comparison to that which we will enjoy in Heaven.&nbsp; Pastor Jim humorously compared our skepticism about no marriage, no sex, and other changes in Heaven to us acting like children wanting to play with mud pies versus desiring to go to Disney World.&nbsp; All the earthly things we cling to now will be like mud pies compared to what God has in store for us. &nbsp;In actuality, we all need to prepare to have our minds blown. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">So what has God shown me in this weird little journey?&nbsp; Something I knew but obviously, didn't know.&nbsp; He has shown me Ephesians 5:25-30 fully--not as head-knowledge, but as heart-knowledge.&nbsp; I get it now.&nbsp; I know fully what the point of marriage and family are here on earth.&nbsp; They are here to provide joy, protection, and guidance in our lives.&nbsp; They were given to us by God to prepare us for our marriage to Christ in Heaven and to give us a small taste of the awesome unity we will have with our very big family there.&nbsp; We're just practicing with our small, current sampler plates.&nbsp;</span></span> Christ IS my ultimate husband--He is my eternal Husband.&nbsp; Though my T-bone is a darn good object upon which to practice, he isn't my <i>eternal</i> husband.&nbsp; Shamefully, I see fully that I've not really thought of Jesus or loved Him as my <i>Husband</i>.&nbsp; He's pretty much just been the best man at my wedding.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Though I know I need to have Christ (God) in first place in my life, I know I often don't.&nbsp; It will be a goal for which I will strive daily.&nbsp; How can I <i>not</i> put a God Who loves me so much He died for me in first place?&nbsp; How can I <i>not</i> put Him in first place when He isn't a God who desires to mind-sweep me and remove all others from my memory, thoughts, and heart?&nbsp; God wants to be the cake in my life now and for all eternity, and He wants all the rest that I love to be the icing.&nbsp; Though </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I'm not sure how that will all look in Heaven, I know I can trust Him.&nbsp; Speaking of weddings, cakes, and icing, I pray I get a REALLY BIG PIECE at the wedding celebration in Heaven.&nbsp; Wedding cake has always been my dessert of choice.&nbsp; And my word for the year comes into play yet again:&nbsp; <i>Patience</i>, Steph...<i>patience</i>.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><u><i><b>Related Scripture: </b></i></u></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">2 Cor. 5:6-8, "<i><span class="text 2Cor-5-6" id="en-NIV-28884">Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.</span><span class="text 2Cor-5-7" id="en-NIV-28885">&nbsp; For we live by faith, not by sight.</span><span class="text 2Cor-5-8" id="en-NIV-28886">&nbsp; We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."</span></i><br /><br />Phil. 1:21-23, "<i><span class="text Phil-1-21" id="en-NIV-29383">For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.</span>&nbsp; <span class="text Phil-1-22" id="en-NIV-29384">If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me.&nbsp; Yet what shall I choose?&nbsp; I do not know!&nbsp; </span></i><span class="text Phil-1-23" id="en-NIV-29385"><i>I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far</i>."</span></span></span> <br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj">Revelation 21:4, "</span></span></span><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj"><i>He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away</i>."</span></span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj"><span class="p"></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rKi09oZ8sRM/VCWQDD-go7I/AAAAAAAADzU/En3u8OQickU/s1600/Textured%2Bwedding%2Bcake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rKi09oZ8sRM/VCWQDD-go7I/AAAAAAAADzU/En3u8OQickU/s1600/Textured%2Bwedding%2Bcake.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj">&nbsp;</span></span></span> </span></span>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-51674399012158042412014-08-11T11:38:00.004-05:002014-08-11T11:38:58.459-05:00Heaven Blog Part One: Heavenly Hypocrisy?!<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></span><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text 1Cor-2-9" id="en-NKJV-28404"><sup class="versenum"> </sup><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">"But as it is written:</span></span></span></b></i></div><div class="poetry top-1" style="text-align: center;"><div class="line"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text 1Cor-2-9"><span class="oblique">'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,</span></span><br /><span class="text 1Cor-2-9"><span class="oblique">Nor have entered into the heart of man</span></span><br /><span class="text 1Cor-2-9"><span class="oblique">The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.<sup>'"</sup></span></span></span></span></b></i></div><div class="line"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="text 1Cor-2-9"><span class="oblique"><sup><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 2:9</span></b></i> </sup></span></span></span></span></div></div><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At the age of nine, I came to know Christ as my personal Savior.&nbsp; I can still remember that day.&nbsp; My mother and I were standing in church singing the old hymn, "<i>Just As I Am Without One Plea</i>," for probably the 100th time.&nbsp; But it was different somehow on this day and I began welling-up with tears as the lyrics penetrated my heart.&nbsp; I finally "got" the salvation message and my great need for Christ.&nbsp; The next thing I knew, I was running down the aisle to the Pastor, tears flowing freely, and began telling him that I wanted Jesus in my heart and life.&nbsp; Then I grabbed the mic to tell the whole church that I was a sinner who needed Christ and how happy I was that I finally had a Father!&nbsp; So I have been worshiping the Lord now for over 35-years.&nbsp; I would like to believe that in 35-years of singing songs declaring my love for God above all else, that I truly mean what I sing--that I, "get" what I am singing. &nbsp; If you asked me to order the priorities in my life, I would even perhaps hypocritically <i>dare</i> to proclaim God as, "<i>Number One</i>."&nbsp; The real truth is, on many days my husband and I waiver between number one and two, and God comes in at a whopping number three.&nbsp; We sing lyrics weekly in church voicing our excitement and readiness to be with our Lord.&nbsp; But to be honest, there are some things on this earth of which I don't want to let go and to which I cling too tightly.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As I said in my previous blog post, the pastor of my church, Jim Congdon, along with the Associate Pastor of my church, Hunter Ruch, recently preached an in-depth sermon series entitled, "<i>So You're Dead...Now What</i>?!"&nbsp; This sermon series addressed death and Heaven, and sparked some questions and fears in me regarding both.&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am ashamed to admit that it also revealed the sad truth of my misplaced priorities, as aforementioned.&nbsp; It seems that even though God has given me the free, undeserved gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ, and I have the assurance and blessing of knowing that I will spend eternity with Him in a perfect Heaven free from pain, sickness, sorrow and anymore death, I still actually expect some things of God <i>for me</i>.&nbsp; </span></span>I didn't think I had any major issues with death or Heaven--and I certainly would never have admitted any preconceived, selfish ideas or expectations about Heaven.&nbsp; In fact, I have professed that I would be one of those people who would be <i>thrilled</i> if Heaven consisted of a constant praise and worship service (because singing and leading worship are my favorite things to do)!&nbsp; I have also outwardly affirmed that I have no, "unfinished business" in my life, and feel that if the Good Lord decided to take me home today, I could lay on my deathbed knowing I have no lingering regrets.&nbsp; I have lived honestly and I have attempted to right the wrongs I have committed against others.&nbsp; Most importantly, since I believe the <i>Word of God</i> to be 100% historically accurate, true, proven to be credible many times over, and God-inspired to 40-eye witness accounts and authors, (see Proverbs 30:5, 2 Timothy 3:16, and 2 Peter 1:21), <i>and</i> I feel totally assured of my salvation by grace through faith in Christ (see Ephesians 2:8, Romans 10:9, Romans 6:23), I have no concerns of hell (<i>thank You, Lord</i>).&nbsp; In essence, I have enjoyed the grand thought that should death come, I can stare it in the face and say, "Bring it!"</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Over the years, I've done a few Bible<i> </i>studies on death and Heaven (check out Randy Alcorn's book, <i><u>Heaven</u></i>~it's a goodie).&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I remember when I did my first Bible study on death and Heaven nearly 20-years ago now.&nbsp; I didn't know my Bible that well, and at first, I found it puzzling and surprising that the current Heaven or, "Paradise," is only temporary, as is the current Hell or, "Hades," as it is named.&nbsp; People typically just talk about Heaven and Hell in general terms, so that is how I always imagined it.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But apparently, the current Heaven or, "Paradise," as it is called by Christ, is a, "holding tank," </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(as an old friend once laughingly termed it), </span></span></span></span></span></span>for the saints who <i>trusted </i>in Christ as their Savior until the New Earth and New Heaven (which will be combined) are ready for them.&nbsp; Likewise and on the opposite end, the current Hell or, "Hades," is the, "holding tank," for those who did NOT <i>trust</i> Christ as their Savior until the eternal Lake of Fire comes into play for them after the final judgment. (Side-note of clarification:&nbsp; This is not to say that those in Hades or Hell didn't or don't <i>believe</i> in Christ--even the devil <i>believes</i> in Christ, and he sure isn't getting into Heaven!&nbsp; The key word and main difference here is that they did not <i>TRUST</i> in Christ as their Savior and Lord when they were living on earth and had the inexcusable chance to do so (Romans 1:20).&nbsp; This means they did not <i>ask Him to forgive</i> their sins or <i>accept His free gift of salvation</i> to them by <i>believing</i> in His death on the cross as payment for their sins.&nbsp; They did not <i>trust</i> <i>by faith </i>in His resurrection as the victory over all sin and death, attempt to <i>repent</i> from their sins, or <i>admit</i> their need for Him.&nbsp; [<u><i>See the following Scriptures for more guidance on the points of sin, salvation, death, Heaven, and Hell:</i></u>&nbsp; John 3:16-18; Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; Romans 2:5-8; Ephesians 2:8-9; Revelation 21:8; Revelation 21:1-27; Hebrews 9:27; Matthew 25:31-34 &amp; 41; Revelation 20:10-15; Daniel 12:2; 2 Peter 3:7 &amp; 10; John 14:2-3; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; Acts 4:12; Acts 16:30-31; Matthew 25:43 &amp; 46; Revelation 20:6, 11-15; John 13:36; 1 John 3:2; Luke 23:43; Hebrews 10:26-28; 2 Timothy 4:8; Matthew 10:32-33; John 5:28-29; Revelation 19:20; John 6:50-71; Luke 13:3 &amp; 24; Revelation 22:3; Romans 10:9; Revelation 22:12].&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Though I've had questions on the topics of death, Heaven, and Hell, I realize I surprisingly have deeper issues now.&nbsp; I guess with age comes...wisdom??&nbsp; Or maybe with age comes the harsh reality that death actually IS looming, and maybe it isn't the underdog I have naively reveled that it is!&nbsp; It is humbling how you can go along in life as a believer thinking you are perfectly "good" on a topic or thinking you have mastered some particular sin, and God reveals that, <i>no</i>, you are <i>not </i>good.&nbsp; I think when we are young, we understand death but we do not feel it.&nbsp; We do not fully comprehend that it is actually going to affect us and those with whom we are walking side-by-side.&nbsp; Life far outweighs the concept of death when we are young, probably due to the fact that unless fate (God) decides otherwise, we have far more time and life to live than any need to prep for death!&nbsp; We may even lose elderly people we love along the way.&nbsp; But in reality, when we are young death feels like a distant myth.&nbsp; It's other people's problem, not ours.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It no longer feels distant to me.&nbsp; Losing a lifelong friend to cancer over three years ago made it much more real--too real.&nbsp; I remember hearing from her widowed husband after her death for the first time.&nbsp; He shared with me that their eldest son, who was our first God-son, told him that since his mom was now in Heaven, he no longer feared death. I loved that, and I felt that in a sense, as well.&nbsp; I would guess that the more loved ones you have in Heaven, the less fearful and more ready you are to be there with them.&nbsp; So I wouldn't say that death frightens me, but for some reason this sermon series has brought it into a new light for me (and that light can initially feel grim and dim)!&nbsp; It is a perspective I perhaps needed.&nbsp; Over the past couple of months, the Lord has shown me that I actually <i>do</i> have issues with death and Heaven--some small ones and one <i>big</i> one.&nbsp; He has revealed some selfishness and priority-confusion in me that also needs correction.&nbsp; But for this blog post, I will focus only on the small issues (the big one needs its own post)!</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Early in the sermon series, Pastor Jim offered the congregation to email him any questions we had regarding death and Heaven, and he would do his best to answer or address them in his sermon the following week, bless his heart.&nbsp; I laughingly leaned over to my husband and said, "<i>He's gonna regret that</i>" (I was speaking of myself)!&nbsp; Pastor Jim <i>did </i>answer most of my questions and alleviated many of my fears in his sermon that next Sunday.&nbsp; But since no one really knows exactly what death and Heaven will be like (and one can speculate about the commonly unrelated facts shared from those who have had near-death experiences), and since <i>God's Word</i> doesn't give us loads of specifics, I have had to entrust the rest of my concerns to the Lord...and rightly so. </span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />So here are my "small" questions or issues with death and Heaven:<br /><br />1.&nbsp; <u><b>Will there REALLY be no more sea in Heaven?</b></u>&nbsp; In Revelation 21:1, John describes Heaven to us:&nbsp; "<i>Then I saw 'a new heaven and a new earth,' for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and <u>there was no longer any sea</u></i>."&nbsp; I know, I know.&nbsp; You're thinking, "So this is actually an 'issue' for her?"&nbsp; Yes, it is.&nbsp; Being an ocean-lover, water-sports person, and huge water-seeker in general, the one thing that really tripped me up during my first study on Heaven (and every study or sermon on it since) was the idea that the sea would be no more.&nbsp; I really hated (and still hate) that thought!&nbsp; I don't like to think that there will be no oceanic water or sea life as we know it in the new Earth/Heaven.&nbsp; Beaches have always been my vaca of choice.&nbsp; Watching the tide, walking seaside, marveling at sea life, and immersing myself in that mysterious water feels like paradise and perfect peace to me.&nbsp; I love to feel the sand and sun on my face and skin.&nbsp; I adore the way the waves sway and tug at you as you swim through them.&nbsp; To me, swimming in the ocean is a like a carnival ride without man-made reproduction.&nbsp; It is as if the very hand of God is bringing delight to both your body and soul.&nbsp; Being on a boat and seeing dolphins, fish, and seabirds soaring is nothing short of heavenly to me.&nbsp;&nbsp; The first time I snorkeled, I felt as if I was in an unknown world where only God and I existed.&nbsp; I have never felt silence or rest like that anywhere else.&nbsp; I wanted to be a mermaid as a child, and often "played mermaid" at the pool as a little girl.&nbsp; If there ever was a human fish, I was it.&nbsp; I was one of those kids who had swimmer's ear every summer because I LIVED at the pool.&nbsp; Water and waves amuse and astound me, and the power, majesty, and vastness of God's oceans draw me closer to Him than any other part of nature.&nbsp; I believe the sea is an unparalleled, artistic wonder as much as the mountains, the jungles, the deserts, and every other beautiful biome God created.&nbsp; Though Revelation speaks of a, "<i>sea of glass glowing with fire</i>," (Rev. 15:2), that doesn't sound like the ocean, sea life, and waves I have come to adore.&nbsp; It is ridiculous, but it troubles me that I may not see tide again in eternity--it's easily my favorite part of God's creation.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Further study revealed that there are a couple of theories on this topic. You can find well-known Christian theologians and writers such as, John MacArthur, who say that <i>no</i>, there will not be any oceans because in, <i>The Bible</i>, there are many verses suggesting that the sea represents God's hostility and curse on mankind for sin and evil, separation, disorder, violence, and unrest (Isaiah 57:20; Ezekiel 28:8; Revelation 13:1).&nbsp; To the contrary, you can find well-respected Christian writers (Charles Spurgeon, for example), who believe that though there may be no more tumultuous, dividing, dangerous oceans as we know them today, that God would not completely eliminate sea water altogether when much of His beauty and artisan design is found within it.&nbsp; Spurgeon wrote,</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /><i><b>“'And the sea was no more.'” Scarcely could we rejoice at the thought of losing the glorious old ocean. The new heavens and the New Earth are none the fairer to our imagination, if, indeed, there is literally to be no great and wide sea, with its gleaming waves and shelly shores. </b></i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>Is not the text to be read as a metaphor, tinged with the prejudice with which the Eastern mind universally regarded the sea in the olden times? A real physical world without a sea is mournful to imagine; it would be an iron ring without the sapphire which made it precious.</b></i></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><b></b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>&nbsp;</b></i></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>There must be a spiritual meaning here. In the new dispensation there will be no division—the sea separates nations and&nbsp;­separates peoples from each other. To John in Patmos the deep waters were like prison walls, shutting him out from his brethren and his work; there shall be no such barriers in the world to come. Leagues of rolling waves lie between us and many a kinsman whom tonight we prayerfully remember, but in the bright world to which we go, there shall be unbroken fellowship for all the redeemed family. In this sense there shall be no more&nbsp;sea."&nbsp; </b><b>~Charles Spurgeon</b></i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I would have to agree (and certainly hope) that Spurgeon is right. In Re<span class="text Rev-22-1">velation 22:1-2 we read, "<i>Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb</i></span><i> </i><span class="text Rev-22-2" id="en-NIV-31083"><i>down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations</i>." Clearly, there will be water in heaven (see also Ezekiel 47).&nbsp; Though the oceans may have been affected by the curse from mankind's sin, as all of creation was tainted and somewhat cursed by sin, the sea originally was, "good," at the beginning of creation before man's sin ruined it (Genesis 1:10, "</span><span class="text Rev-22-2" id="en-NIV-31083"><span class="text Gen-1-10" id="en-NIV-10"><i>God called the dry ground 'land,' and the gathered waters he called 'seas.' And God saw that it was <u>good</u></i>").&nbsp;&nbsp; Therefore, </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-22-2" id="en-NIV-31083"><span class="text Gen-1-10" id="en-NIV-10"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I believe there will be plenty of water in heaven and certainly all the creatures of the sea of which God Himself created and called, "very good" (Genesis 1:31).&nbsp; I can only pray and hope that there will be waves and tide with beautiful shores upon which to walk with my Lord in Heaven.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-22-2" id="en-NIV-31083"><span class="text Gen-1-10" id="en-NIV-10"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2.&nbsp; <u><b>Will there REALLY be no sun or moon in Heaven?&nbsp;</b></u> But back up the truck!&nbsp; I love both!&nbsp; The Bible tells us that we won't <i>need</i> the sun because we will all get our light (and our suntans) from the glory of the Lord!&nbsp; (Rev. 21:23, "</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-22-2" id="en-NIV-31083"><span class="text Gen-1-10" id="en-NIV-10"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp</i>").&nbsp; But one can argue (and theologians do) that this verse says that the <i>Holy City</i> won't need the sun, not the entire new Heaven and new Earth.&nbsp; There are also other verses to defend that night and day both exist in heaven (Isaiah 66:23, Rev. 4:8, 7:15, &amp; 12:10).&nbsp; I'm guessing there will be day and night in heaven, just not exactly in the way we know it now.&nbsp; I'm also looking forward to having a sun-kissed look without worry of skin cancer (please, Lord)?!&nbsp; Vanity...all is vanity.</span></span></span></span><br />&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3.&nbsp; <u><b>Do we sleep in Paradise/Heaven?</b></u>&nbsp; The Bible tells us clearly that we will work in Heaven but that it won't wear us out like it does now...and it will be work that we love and from which we derive great pleasure (no more toilet-cleaning, right, Lord?)!&nbsp; Our bodies will be perfect, as God's Word tells us, so they shouldn't need sleep.&nbsp; But I find it odd to think we will no longer sleep if God Himself rested on the seventh day from all His work creating the universe--and He was GOD!&nbsp; Perhaps we, too, will just, "rest."&nbsp; This one is still unanswered for me...and I really like my sleep!&nbsp; I'm one of those people who sometimes even giggles with giddiness as I crawl into my cozy bed with my soft pillow and Downy fresh sheets because I know I get to snooze-away.&nbsp; Peaceful sleep is a blessing from God, in my opinion.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Clearly, when we die our bodies "sleep" (or fertilize daisies), but our spirits live-on elsewhere.&nbsp; Paul talks of this separation of body and spirit when making the point that he'd rather be dead and be with Christ in 2 Corinthians 5:6-8, "</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="text 2Cor-5-6" id="en-NIV-28884">Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-7" id="en-NIV-28885"><sup class="versenum">7&nbsp;</sup>For we live by faith, not by sight.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-8" id="en-NIV-28886"><sup class="versenum">8&nbsp;</sup>We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."&nbsp; </span></i><span class="text 2Cor-5-8" id="en-NIV-28886">Jesus also speaks about how our spirit will live-on in John 11:25-26, "</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text 2Cor-5-8" id="en-NIV-28886"><i><span class="text John-11-25" id="en-NIV-26549">Jesus said to her, <span class="woj">'I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;</span></span> </i><span class="text John-11-26" id="en-NIV-26550"><span class="woj"><i><sup class="versenum">26&nbsp;</sup>and whoever lives by believing in me will never die</i>.</span></span></span><i><span class="text 2Cor-5-8" id="en-NIV-28886">'"&nbsp; </span></i></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text 2Cor-5-8" id="en-NIV-28886"><span class="text Luke-23-43" id="en-NKJV-25979">We read in Luke 23:43 more proof that our soul goes somewhere immediately upon death when Jesus speaks to the repentant criminal hanging on a cross next to Him: "<i>And Jesus said to him, </i><span class="woj"><i>'Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise</i>.'" </span></span>But I am not speaking about "soul sleep" here--the aforementioned verse and other verses in the Bible tell us clearly that our soul doesn't sleep when we die.&nbsp; People always say, "May he/she rest in peace (RIP)," but according to God's Word, our body may rest, but our soul has business to take care of (excuse the dangling preposition)!&nbsp; Our soul goes to one place or the other (Heaven or Hell) immediately until we get our perfected bodies upon Christ's return (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17), or until we face the final judgment and eternal death (Matthew 25:41).&nbsp; But I question whether we will actually <i>sleep</i> in Paradise or Heaven, regardless of whether we are with or without a body.&nbsp; If our bodies won't need to refuel because they will be perfect, perhaps we will not need to sleep.&nbsp; Sigh...better go take a nice, long nap while I can!</span><br />&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">4. <u><b>Can our loved ones in Heaven see us?&nbsp;</b></u> Do they see our hardships, struggles and failings?&nbsp; So then is there crying in Paradise (in the current, temporary Paradise)?&nbsp; This puzzles me because if our loved ones are in, "Paradise," and are no longer suffering or in pain, how can there be tears? Revelation 21:4 says that the Lord will wipe away every tear.&nbsp; But this is speaking of the new Heaven, not the current Paradise.&nbsp; I would think if our loved ones can see us it sure wouldn't be paradise for them, at times.&nbsp; Perhaps they cry tears of joy knowing the trials we face will all be wiped away soon.&nbsp; As we read in Rev. 6:9-10, "</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-6-9" id="en-KJV-30803">And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the Word of God, and for the testimony which they held:</span></span>&nbsp; <span class="text Rev-6-10" id="en-KJV-30804" style="font-size: small;">And they cried with a loud voice, saying, <i>How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth</i>?"&nbsp; Here we read that those saints in Heaven who lost their lives as martyrs are angrily venting to the Lord that they are sick and tired of seeing the enemy and his followers able to unleash pain and trouble on the world (so they aren't in some fairy land up there without any clue that life is still hard down here).&nbsp; They are ready to see evil smote and good reigning.&nbsp; Pastor Jim used this verse and others to explain to us that the saints whose souls currently reside in Paradise are aware of what is going on down here.&nbsp; Whether they actually see us all the time and know everything going on with us, we do not know.&nbsp; But just the thought makes you want to live a better life, doesn't it?!&nbsp; And if that's true, why do we not fear God more?&nbsp; We KNOW He sees and knows everything.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-6-10" id="en-KJV-30804">Some questions we have about death, Heaven, and Hell just won't be answered until the day we meet Him face-to-face.&nbsp; But the simple fact is, if I truly love the Lord and have the audacity to sing about my love for Him and mean it, none of my unanswered questions should really matter.&nbsp; Heaven is for me (John 14:3), and God is for me (Romans 8:31).&nbsp; But Heaven is not ABOUT me.&nbsp; As if it wasn't enough that Christ suffered and died to keep me out of the Hell I deserved, I now expect some additional items from Him in eternity, as well?!&nbsp; It is rather grotesque really.&nbsp; Besides, when you look around at this earth, with all its beauty and all its flaws, you cannot help but think that God will far outdo Himself with the new Earth and new Heaven.&nbsp; How could I ever doubt Him?!&nbsp; I suspect nothing that I love here will come close to comparing to the splendor of Heaven and being with Him Who saved me from sin, the enemy, death, and from me.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-6-10" id="en-KJV-30804"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-6-10" id="en-KJV-30804">Come back for <i>Part Two</i> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-6-10" id="en-KJV-30804">where I will share of my <i>big</i> issue with death and Heaven.&nbsp; If you know me well, you can probably guess what it is--but come back anyway!&nbsp; God bless family and friends, and thanks for reading. </span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rev-6-10" id="en-KJV-30804"><u><i><b>Related Scripture:</b></i></u> <br />&nbsp;</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Colossians 3:1-2, </b>"</span><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span class="text Col-3-1">If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. </span> </i><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><i><sup class="versenum">2&nbsp;</sup>Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth</i>."</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj"><b>Isaiah 65:17, </b>"</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj"><i><span class="text Isa-65-17">For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;</span></i><span class="text Isa-65-17"><i>And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind</i>." </span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wkfKnNea5S8/U-jkj5tnbpI/AAAAAAAADy8/8CfcECNUshQ/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wkfKnNea5S8/U-jkj5tnbpI/AAAAAAAADy8/8CfcECNUshQ/s1600/photo.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Col-3-2" id="en-NKJV-29520"><span class="text John-14-3" id="en-NKJV-26672"><span class="woj"><span class="text Isa-65-17">&nbsp;(Me in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico; 7.2.14)</span> </span></span></span></span></span></div>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-89732617102323465032014-05-19T16:53:00.000-05:002014-05-21T09:49:57.313-05:00Monumental Month, Marker, and Model<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;<span style="font-size: large;"><b>"<i>There is a time for everything,</i></b></span></div><div class="line2" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>and a season for every activity under the heavens:<span class="reftext"> </span>a time to be born and a time to die</i>..."&nbsp;</b></span></div><div class="line2" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a</b></span></div><br /><br />You may have noticed (all 40 of you [insert chuckle]--and God bless you, by the way), that I have not posted in weeks--over a month, actually.&nbsp; A lot has happened in the last month...we celebrated Easter, my band had five gigs, I went to visit my grandparents, we attended a few graduation parties, I've led worship at my church three times, I took a three-day business trip to Omaha, NE with my husband (A.K.A., "T-bone"), we celebrated T-bone's grandpa Andy's 102nd birthday, my daughter and her husband came for a visit, and T-bone took me to an art walk and three concerts (much more relaxing than being "on" the stage)!&nbsp; Inside that chaotic schedule, I've managed, with God's help, to maintain a near-daily quiet time with Him, have lunch with two girlfriends, manage our finances, help T-bone with a ton of yard-work, get to the gym and/or run three times a week, and go on two, 16-18 mile bike rides with my hubby.&nbsp; The housework and the laundry have suffered some though (thank God I'm married to a man who is totally happy and content if he's fed and loved, and whose expectations of me never surpass those two requirements).&nbsp; I've also noticed that the data storage in my brain has reached its limit.&nbsp; Therefore, my bi-weekly blog-posting goal had to go.&nbsp; In response to the verse above:&nbsp; if there really <i>IS, "a time for everything</i>," I'd like to know where the heck to find it! <br /><br />One other big happening or "marker" this past month was that I turned 44-years old.&nbsp; Though that is not typically denoted as a monumental birthday, it was for me.&nbsp; For as long as I can remember, the number, "<i>44</i>," has always reminded me of the first time I asked my, "Gram," as I nick-named her, how old she was.&nbsp; I was just four years old, sitting on a bar stool at her kitchen counter watching her make cookies (Oatmeal Scotchies, as I recall).&nbsp; I even remember what she was wearing--a peach-colored, stiff polyester, nicely tailored, Jackie Kennedy-styled dress (yes, I'm a detail person), with black horn-rimmed glasses (it was 1974, after all)!&nbsp; She told me she was 44-years old, and I remember staring quietly at her at length and thinking, "Wow.&nbsp; My Gram is OLD!"&nbsp; So a few weeks ago, when I became "OLD" too, I thought of this incident, chuckled, and then became deeply depressed!&nbsp; On a brighter note, I've always thought it was cool that my, "Gram" and I are 40-years apart--it's always made it easy to remember how old she is.&nbsp; Back in February, I celebrated her 84th birthday with her, and knew upon realizing <i>her</i> age that my special, "OLD" birthday was coming.&nbsp; Well, it came.&nbsp; As they say, <i>age is an undefeated victor</i> (don't ask me who, "<i>they</i>" are--I Googled the quote and cannot find that answer).&nbsp; As my mom says, birthdays are, "<i>better than the alternative</i>."<br /><br />My Gram is one of the most beloved people in my life.&nbsp; She is a brown-eyed, brown-haired beauty just like my mother and my daughter.&nbsp; She is always smiling--even when the chips are totally down.&nbsp; She never complains.&nbsp; She always wants to give you something--you will rarely leave her home without something in-hand.&nbsp; She is a fiercely gifted cook.&nbsp; She loves nature and God's beauty.&nbsp; She taught me the names of hundreds of trees, plants, and flowers, and instilled in me a deep appreciation and love for them all.&nbsp; She adores travel and long, Sunday car rides.&nbsp; Before her massive stroke in 1996 that left her wheelchair-bound and without the use of her entire right side, she was one of those freakishly gifted pianists who could hear a song, and then sit down at the piano and play it exactly as she heard it.&nbsp; We used to <i>beg</i> her emphatically to play for us! She could have made a killing off that gift had she not had eight children to raise (and she did that selflessly and with flare).&nbsp; I look forward to the day when I arrive in heaven with her (or she with me, should I happen to beat her to the punch), and I get to hear her play again and sing along.&nbsp; She loves her family above everything and everyone else, other than the Lord.&nbsp; One day about 20 years ago, I recall helping her weed her garden and asking her, "<i>Gram, why don't you have any girlfriends</i>?"&nbsp; Her reply humbled and astounded me, "<i>Well, I haven't ever found anyone very faithful or loyal, I guess.&nbsp; People are awfully fickle.&nbsp; Besides...my family members are my friends</i>.&nbsp; <i>Blood is thicker than water, you know?!</i>" and she gave me a wink, a chuckle, and a smile.&nbsp; She could have gone into the torrid details of betrayal and gossiping, critical women who soured her on friendship.&nbsp; Instead, she just left it with a light-hearted, honest, joyful remark about family.&nbsp; Besides my mother, this woman whom I call, "Gram," has been the most influential woman in my life.&nbsp; She is a role-model to be revered.&nbsp; I adore her to a level that terrifies me because I am ever-aware of the fact that her days with me are numbered (forgive me for being the, "Debbie-downer" here--I guess my, "old lady" birthday has me thinking about life, death, and other such existentially vaporous matters).&nbsp; Happy birthday to me.<br /><br />To further exacerbate my recent state-of-mind, the Head Pastor of my church, Jim Congdon, along with the Pastor of Community, Hunter Ruch, began a new sermon series on Easter Sunday called, <i>"So You're Dead...Now What?"&nbsp; </i>This series, though greatly about death, is also largely about heaven.&nbsp; The matters discussed in these sermons have sparked a great many questions and thoughts in my small, easily-overwhelmed, little mind.&nbsp; As always, Pastors Jim and Hunter have done an incredible job of both educating and encouraging our church body on these subjects.&nbsp; But it's also put me on a strange, private spiritual journey on death and heaven that I'd like to share with you in my next blog post or two--we'll see if I can manage one (and I guess it will no longer be, "private")!&nbsp; Surprisingly, it's all got me thinking...<i>maybe birthdays <b>aren't</b> better than the alternative.</i>&nbsp; Til next time...whenever that may be...God bless, family and friends!<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LGe1n_TBByY/U3qO9blrIFI/AAAAAAAADw8/rRbIr_0XiTo/s1600/Gram.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LGe1n_TBByY/U3qO9blrIFI/AAAAAAAADw8/rRbIr_0XiTo/s1600/Gram.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Gram~senior high school picture; circa 1948.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OIQ5VaMVMts/U3qPEUh8VYI/AAAAAAAADxE/e1r4ve21OuA/s1600/Four+Generation+Pic--Allie%2527s+Wedding%253B+11.19.11..png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OIQ5VaMVMts/U3qPEUh8VYI/AAAAAAAADxE/e1r4ve21OuA/s1600/Four+Generation+Pic--Allie%2527s+Wedding%253B+11.19.11..png" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Four generation photo of Gram, Mom, me, &amp; my only child, Allie, at Allie's wedding; circa Nov. 19, 2011.</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-39128470694125859682014-04-15T12:57:00.001-05:002014-04-15T12:57:50.641-05:00Brokenness Fixes Brokenness<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i><span class="text Ps-51-17" id="en-NIV-14709">"My sacrifice, O God, is<sup> </sup>a broken spirit;</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><span class="text Ps-51-17">a broken and contrite heart</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span class="text Ps-51-17">You, God, will not despise."</span></span></i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-51-17">Psalm 51:17 (NIV)</span></span> </b></span></span></div><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Recently, I have had a few conversations with friends about difficult and broken relationships.&nbsp; With a chuckle and a smile, I shared my new twist on an old quote with one of them.&nbsp; I said, "<i>We need that 'charity that covers a multitude of sins' with ALL</i> <i>people SOME of the time, and SOME people ALL of the time </i>(1 Peter 4:8)!&nbsp; One friend and I talked at length about forgiveness and restoration, and what is involved for that to truly transpire.&nbsp; We shared personal instances where reconciliation had occurred, and times when, "the severing of ties," was necessary.&nbsp; Prior to this discussion, God had fittingly brought a new thought to my mind on the exact topic:&nbsp; the idea that, <b><i>it takes</i> <i>utter brokenness</i> <i>to fix utter brokenness</i></b>.&nbsp; Relationship problems can be vastly different.&nbsp; But regardless of the particular struggle, it takes genuine brokenness within the hearts of the people involved before God (and they) can begin to properly repair and restore it.&nbsp; If it is only cracked but left in disrepair, it will eventually break.&nbsp; If it is partially broken, and one person is holding on to the missing pieces, God cannot repair it.&nbsp; He has to have <i>every piece</i>--or, in essence, He has to have the undefiled, unfettered willingness by those involved for true repair and restoration to occur.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Within that willingness and utter brokenness, there are <u><i>two essentials</i></u> that God has to ultimately have from <i>both</i> parties (<i>not just one</i> person):&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">#1.&nbsp; God has to have honest acknowledgement by <i>both sides </i>that the situation IS broken and needs/warrants repair.&nbsp; This would be the, "truth" and, "repentance" part (vs. the following:&nbsp; someone ignoring that a problem or, "crack," has occurred; someone saying the problem belongs solely to the other person; someone whitewashing that he/she had anything to do with the creation of the problem).&nbsp; This is where the people involved, "get real," and face the facts of the situation without dodging truth and responsibility (or each other).&nbsp; This is where people genuinely share offenses by <i>going to the other person </i>and <i>speaking the truth in love,</i> as we are told to do in God's Word when a relationship issue occurs (Ephesians 4:15; Matthew 18:15).&nbsp; </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">#2.&nbsp; God has to have humble hearts that are willing to work to change or fix the problem.&nbsp; This is the part where both parties treat each other with dignity and mutual respect.&nbsp; This is where both parties actually care about the needs of the other person more than their own (or at least, as much as their own). &nbsp;When I think about the, "burnt bridges" I've suffered in my life (relationships that ended due to the inability for reconciliation to occur),<i> in every case</i>, I was honestly willing to do #1 above and <i><u>admit MY PART</u> </i>(to admit the problem happened, and verbalize, show, and feel honest remorse for the things I had said or done that helped to cause the problem or had caused <i>them</i> pain--i.e., all the broken pieces I created).&nbsp; But I was also willing to work to <u><i>FIX</i> <i>my part</i></u> in the issue in order to reconcile and begin to restore the relationship and the trust.&nbsp; However, the other parties involved would not do one or both of those things.&nbsp; They could quickly and easily agree that <u><i>I</i></u> had done some things wrong, but they would <i>not</i> agree that offense, pain, and responsibility in the crack or broken pieces had also been reciprocal.&nbsp; In essence, they either would not acknowledge the brokenness in the first place, or they flat refused to share any blame for it.&nbsp; They preferred to view it as <i>my </i>issue--not theirs or anything <i>they</i> might have done.&nbsp; Perhaps they wanted to hold on to <i>my </i>pieces and could not truly forgive me (or essentially, they did not really <i>want</i> to reconcile).&nbsp; Or, maybe they wanted to hold on to <i>their </i>pieces, justifying <i>their</i> part or lying in the matter in order to rid themselves of guilt and the responsibility of fixing anything.&nbsp; They were not only non-repentant, but they were also not going to do anything to fix the issue to restore the trust.&nbsp; Sometimes people really hold on to those pieces, and then all you are left with is a somewhat repaired situation that is going to end-up broken again.&nbsp; But the repair work cannot be a one-sided attempt--it's a broken vessel with one person not giving up their pieces.&nbsp; People many times do not want to admit they have wronged another, even if it was not done, "on purpose." So they sure don't want the responsibility of fixing anything (especially if they believe or justify that they have not done anything wrong in the first place)! &nbsp; For some folks, it takes too much brokenness to work selflessly to change or fix wrongs they have committed against others.&nbsp; It is just too much work...and it is hard work.&nbsp; It demands too much humility to realize you owe somebody something (and, "I'm sorry," is just for starters).&nbsp; Forgiveness is also hard work.&nbsp; It requires you to see yourself as the person you really are--a sinner who is also in need of forgiveness.&nbsp; Though problems in relationships can vary greatly, it boils down to one thing:&nbsp; <i>Are you willing to be broken</i>?!&nbsp; I have sadly decided that many people are not.&nbsp; <i>Utter brokenness </i>is a wondrous irony--it actually only comes forth from courageous, strong people with humble, soft hearts.&nbsp; If you find people in life who are willing to be broken, hold onto them for dear life.&nbsp; Shelter their hearts and guard the relationship--it is a treasure unknown to many.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">With the idea of, "<i>utter brokenness fixing utter brokenness</i>," God also gave me much peace with a picture of broken pieces laying on a table and one person clinging to theirs--I guess I am a visual learner.&nbsp; I can read a thousand times that forgiveness is demanded by God but reconciliation is not (and all the reasons for that).&nbsp; But I still find myself thinking, "<i>What should I have done differently</i>?" and, "<i>Was this all <u>my</u> fault</i>?" and, "<i>Should I have pursued harder to reconcile with this person</i>?"&nbsp;&nbsp;It took that visual picture for me to let go of the painful, entrapping thoughts of the broken relationships I have suffered--and God was so good to give it to me.&nbsp; I know that He wanted to truly free me once and for all.&nbsp; Burnt bridges are hard on me, and I am grateful that I have had only a few in my life.&nbsp; Yes, I must forgive everyone who has wronged me because Christ has forgiven me and thus, commands that I do the same (Matthew 6:14).&nbsp; I believe I have done this.&nbsp; But I do not have to place myself back in relationships where the other parties failed to do either of the two things required for God to truly restore the relationship.&nbsp; All we can do is give our broken pieces to God and pray the other parties relinquish control of any they are holding.&nbsp; God knows the situations and He is best suited to handle them.&nbsp; Sometimes God has actually repaired something, but it doesn't look like we think it should.&nbsp; There are times when separation and finality are the best repairs. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">This week we celebrate Easter<span style="font-family: Verdana;">--t</span>he Christian holiday marking the historical event in time when Jesus Christ was broken to the ultimate level in order to restore our utterly broken relationship with God.&nbsp; As I write this, I realize that any brokenness I have ever suffered pales in comparison to the brokenness Jesus endured for each of us on the cross.&nbsp; Jesus was certainly the best picture of the wondrous irony of, "utter brokenness."&nbsp; He was strong, but meek.&nbsp; He was a King, but He was a humble servant.&nbsp; He could perform great miracles, but chose to suffer in agony and die on a cross in our place.&nbsp; He had the largest, softest heart of all.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I also realize that just as we humans struggle to admit and work to fix our sins against each other,&nbsp;we likewise don't always want to admit our sins against God, either.&nbsp; We prefer to, "hold our own pieces," and try to fix our lives and earn our way to heaven ourselves.&nbsp; I believe we run from God for the same reasons we run from others--we run from our guilt, our shame, and from the responsibility and effort of fixing our mistakes.&nbsp; We run away with our pride.&nbsp; We're afraid it's all going to be, "too much work," or that God will require too much of us. We think we have figured out a better way to live, so we run.&nbsp; But we don't need to run.&nbsp; All it takes to fix utter brokenness is utter brokenness--it's like one cancels the other out.&nbsp; Christ's utter brokenness on the cross cancels out our utter brokenness in sin on this earth.&nbsp; Jesus suffered and paid all the cost of the sins and mistakes of the entire world when He hung on the cross.&nbsp; He was the perfect sacrifice required for the payment of sin.&nbsp; He was a lamb without flaw.&nbsp; Just as we need to admit our wrongs to each other and make an honest attempt to do better, this is all God requires and asks of us.&nbsp; He wants <i>our</i> utter brokenness in return for Christ's.&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">He wants us to believe in the free gift of salvation we can have through Christ. </span></span>He wants us to admit our sin and deep need for His salvation.&nbsp; He wants our sincere effort at building a relationship of trust in Him.&nbsp;&nbsp;He does not expect perfection--Jesus already took care of that part, and we cannot no matter how hard we try.&nbsp;&nbsp; He wants you to give Him the broken pieces of your life and let Him begin the restoration.&nbsp; I pray that God can get a hold of every piece of your life and mine--and I pray that He doesn't just use Super-Glue.&nbsp; I pray He remolds and re-fires us beyond breaking.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>In closing, please pray this with me:</b></span></span><br /><br /><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Dear Lord,</span></span></i><br /><br /><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Thank You for being utterly broken so my brokenness can be perfectly and finally repaired.&nbsp; Help me to relinquish control of the pieces of my life and my relationships, and truly let YOU care for it all.&nbsp; In this life, while I work diligently to maintain respect, patience, trust, loyalty, faith, hope, and most importantly, <b><u>love</u></b> for others, I pray that You will seal cracks before they become breaks.&nbsp; I pray that You can get a fast and firm hold on any and all broken pieces in my relationships in order to keep them beautifully intact. In Your time and way, I ask You to repair any that You believe are worth repairing.&nbsp; I thank You, Lord, for loving me so much that You came to earth only to die and pay the price of my sins and those of the entire world. You were and are most concerned with my relationship with YOU.&nbsp; Thank You for sparing my soul and giving me the chance to know You and live eternally with You in heaven.&nbsp; I don't always understand the mystery and all the details of Your coming to earth to live as a human--as, Jesus.&nbsp; But I know it has everything to do with Your sinless character.&nbsp; You could not allow sin to go unpunished or allow it to fully destroy us.&nbsp; We all deserve death because of the sin we inherited from, The Garden.&nbsp; You gave us all free will--a choice and chance to love you back and obey.&nbsp; You did not create us to be Your pawns.&nbsp; You wanted our genuine love, and we failed to give it.&nbsp; We still fail.&nbsp; I know I would have done the same things Adam and Eve did.&nbsp; We all want to be our own god, and we all want to go our own way.&nbsp; I know this is true for me, being the control-freak that I tend to be.&nbsp; </span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But You didn't want man to just die eternally in return for our sin.&nbsp; So You provided a Solution to the problem.&nbsp; Jesus was the Remedy.&nbsp; Jesus was the Fixer and Repairer for all the brokenness.&nbsp; </span></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>T</i></span></span><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">hank You, Father, for loving us so much and having such mercy on us that when we failed, You sent Jesus, and gave us another choice and chance to believe, accept Your forgiveness, accept Your salvation by faith, and follow You.&nbsp; You came and walked our world, faced the same struggles, temptations, and death we face, and conquered it all victoriously without flaw through Your Son, Jesus Christ.&nbsp;&nbsp;Thank You for being the perfect example and sacrifice for us.&nbsp; </span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Though we failed You, You came and died in our place.&nbsp; This kind of love baffles me.&nbsp; I love that You are a God of second chances. I love that You are a God of many chances.&nbsp; Help us to all greatly value that about Your character, and not test it.&nbsp; </span></span></i>You deserve better than that.&nbsp; Thank You for Easter, Father, and what it means to us as believers--that we, too, can have victory over sin and death through Christ and the power of His resurrection.&nbsp; We can rise again as new people in You.&nbsp; </span></span>We</i> don't deserve this, and we don't deserve You.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></i><br /><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We love You, Lord.</span></span></i><br /><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Amen.</span></span></i><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i>Happy Easter</i>, friends!&nbsp;</b></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><u><i>Related Scripture:</i></u> </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Isaiah 53:5, "<i>But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.</i><span class="p">"</span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="p">1 Peter 1:3, "</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="p"><i>Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.</i>"</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="p"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Romans 6:23, "</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="p"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="text Rom-6-23" id="en-NIV-28092"><i>For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord</i>."</span></span>&nbsp;</span></span></span> </span>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-82286611645758386572014-03-29T13:53:00.000-05:002014-03-29T13:59:04.137-05:00While We Wait<h2 class="date-header">&nbsp;(Re-post from Aug. 24, 2012)</h2><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="2835783630758445822"></a> <br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name"></h3><div class="post-header"></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-2835783630758445822" itemprop="description articleBody">If you read yesterday's blog post, then you know I was asked by my Worship Arts Director/Pastor, Bryan, to "share" last night with my fellow worship band mates at rehearsal. Bryan asked me to share what God has been teaching me recently, and it was hard to decide what to share since there are always so many separate things God seems to be trying to teach me, as He does all of us.&nbsp; But the thing I feel God has been trying to drive home to me the most lately is patience, and this idea of, "waiting on the Lord."<br /><br />Recently, God showed me in His Word that at the root of every personal struggle, battle, need, and prayer request, we have the issue of waiting on God.&nbsp; Rarely do our supplications and prayers get a quick, "yes" or "no" from God (except for maybe our basic daily prayer items).&nbsp; Most often, we just have to "wait."&nbsp; Our patience is being constantly tested by God--sometimes for many years, perhaps even decades.&nbsp; Personally, I have several prayer items for which I've spent over 20 years praying and petitioning God, and I still am.&nbsp; But through this, we have to have patience to trust Him, and we need faith and hope to relinquish control so as not to worry about whatever things we're waiting on God to handle.&nbsp; We also have to have faith, hope, and trust so as not to <i>give up </i>on Him while we wait.<br /><br />We call people, "control freaks," all the time--it has become yet another derogatory catchphrase in our society (and we have so many in our quest for pointing out "other people's flaws").&nbsp; But the truth is we ALL have control issues. We all struggle with trying to control our lives in different ways--this is why we all get impatient with things and people, and why we get stressed over things.&nbsp; We try to take on our daily struggles and carry our burdens ourselves and "handle them."&nbsp; We even get annoyed with petty things like other drivers and long lines, and the root of that annoyance is patience and control.&nbsp; God has shown me that this issue of waiting on Him and trusting in Him began in the garden. Eve wanted to be in control of things, and was enticed by the enemy that God wasn't giving her full intellectual access to everything He knew. So essentially, she was the first ever control freak, and didn't trust God or have patience to wait on Him for any provision--intellectual or otherwise. She rushed ahead, and doubted God and what He'd told her (He warned her if she ate the fruit she would die).&nbsp; In her quest for "control," she basically tried to, "be God."&nbsp; She was impatient and wouldn't wait on God and just let Him be God.&nbsp; This has been our root sin ever since--everything we do stems from this.&nbsp; We basically want to be God.&nbsp; We want what we want, and we want it right now.<br /><br />So why does God feel the need to teach us to WAIT so often by testing our patience?&nbsp; Perhaps because it is our biggest curse from that original sin. We proved to Him in the garden with our "sin nature" that we need to be taught some serious lessons on patience.&nbsp; But we can all think of the basic reasons why God teaches us patience so regularly in life.<br />Some basic reasons I came up with initially are:<br /><br />*so we don't become spoiled or entitled, always getting what we want when we want it (as children do when they get their way all the time)<br />* so we can strengthen our faith and trust in Him<br />* so we can learn gratefulness (you are more appreciative of answered prayers and needs that God meets for you when you've waited for them)<br />*AND, so that God gets the glory when the supplication or need is met (when we have to wait for something, we are much quicker to give God credit than when it comes easily to us--we know we had nothing to do with it because it didn't come easily to us).<br /><br />But as I read different passages in the Word about "waiting" on the Lord, I found several other interesting reasons why God tests our patience so much in life.&nbsp; Some of these weren't new to me, but I had forgotten them.&nbsp; Some were "ah ha" moments. The passages are as follows:<br /><br />*Psalms 27:14 says, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord."&nbsp; (So gaining COURAGE is also a byproduct of having our patience tested.&nbsp; This was a new idea for me.&nbsp; I've never really thought of courage as being a complimentary virtue to patience.&nbsp; But it does take courage to "wait," keep your cool, and relinquish control of your life for sure)!<br /><br />*Psalms 25:3 says, "Let none that wait on You be ashamed."&nbsp; (So we are taught to be UNASHAMED to wait on the Lord, having confidence in what He will do.&nbsp; This verse could also reflect that we are to be unashamed to give testimony to others about what God is doing for us or how we know He will meet our needs.&nbsp; We are told in Romans 1:16 by Paul to be, "unashamed of the Gospel."&nbsp; Essentially, we are to be unashamed of Christ and giving Him control of our life.&nbsp; This was a new thought for me--that in having my patience tested by God I am learning to be unashamed of Him, knowing He will take care of my needs).<br /><br />*Psalms 25:21 says, "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait for you." (So we learn OBEDIENCE and gain better CHARACTER from waiting).<br /><br />*Lamentations 3:25-26 says, "The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. (So, in testing our patience, God is also trying to get us to SEEK HIM, HOPE IN HIM, and prove Himself as our SAVIOR, yet again.&nbsp; I think it is pretty cool that God wants to be our Savior every day--not just once upon coming to Him through Christ!&nbsp; So He uses these times of "waiting" just so He can save us yet again.&nbsp; He reminds us that we don't just need His saving grace once, we need it daily.&nbsp; I love the idea that God makes us wait just so He can swoop in and rescue us)! <br /><br />*Psalms 33:20 says, "Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield."&nbsp; (So here we see that God wants to be our HELPER and PROTECTOR in times of need).&nbsp; <br /><br />*Is. 40:31 says, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.&nbsp; They will soar on wings like eagles.&nbsp; They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."&nbsp; (So here we see that God teaches us PERSEVERANCE and ENDURANCE through waiting, as well as, to HOPE in Him.&nbsp; As a runner, I've always loved this verse since it speaks to "running and not growing weary").&nbsp; <br /><br />*Is. 30:18 says, "Therefore the <i>Lord will wait</i>, that He may be gracious to you; blessed are all those who wait for Him."&nbsp; (So here <i>GOD WAITS</i> to respond to us just so He can be GRACIOUS to us in return for OUR waiting on Him--He is testing us to see if we are worthy of his graciousness.&nbsp; He is also waiting along with us--this was a new idea for me, as well.&nbsp; Reminded me of how any great coach gets involved in the coaching process--no one likes a track or cross country coach who stands along the sidelines yelling while you're running your rear off during practice.&nbsp; If your coach ran WITH you, they were a great coach.&nbsp; God WAITS WITH US.&nbsp; What a great God!)!<br /><br />*Is. 26:8-9 says, "...O, Lord, have we waited for you.&nbsp; The desire of our soul is for your name."&nbsp; (So in this instance, God teaches us to DESIRE Him.&nbsp; We all say we "need" God or we "seek" God, but we rarely say we DESIRE or "want" God.&nbsp; This was a new thought for me--to WANT God.&nbsp; We want a lot of things.&nbsp; But do we WANT God?&nbsp; We need to want Him--He is really the only thing that is fully trustworthy in life and the only person Who we can know for sure will always be there for us.&nbsp; He is worthy of our DESIRE).<br /><br />*LAST, Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."&nbsp; (So here, we see God teaching us to be better PRAYER warriors when we have afflictions we are waiting patiently on Him to resolve.&nbsp; Nothing makes you get on your knees faster than afflictions.&nbsp; God knows this and He many times allows and uses struggles to come into our lives just so we will look UP and PRAY to Him). <br /><br />So upon reading these and many more passages about waiting on the Lord (there are tons of them in the Word), God showed me lots of other reasons, besides my initial thoughts, as to why He tests and refines our patience so often in pretty much every area of life.&nbsp; It's really no wonder "waiting" is such a trying and painful thing for us--there are so many things going on all at once that God is refining in us while He teaches us to wait.&nbsp; It is also no wonder I wasn't sure what to share with my band last night that God is teaching me right now--God IS teaching me lots of things all at once, through this "waiting."&nbsp; This is just how He operates with us.&nbsp; The key is to recognize our great need for refinement in all these areas so that instead of shaking our fist at God when we get weary of waiting on Him, we can do as it says in Psalms 34:1 and, "bless the Lord at all times," and, "praise Him continually," no matter our circumstances, because we know He is working for our personal good.&nbsp; We can trust Him that He has our best interests at heart.&nbsp; He is the perfect example of patience--He is certainly patient with us. If He weren't, He would have smote the earth long ago.<br /><br />In closing last eve, I shared with my fellow band mates last night how this idea of, "waiting on God," relates to what we do on Sunday mornings in music ministry.&nbsp; We in the body of Christ are all waiting on things in this journey together.&nbsp; We pray and worship together. We hope together.&nbsp; I told them that every Sunday, our church is flooded with people who are all "waiting" on God for many things, just as we each are.&nbsp; They are waiting on unanswered prayers for better jobs, health issues, financial issues, personal addictions, family struggles, broken relationships, battles with their kids--you name it.&nbsp; Some people are patiently waiting, some are joyfully waiting, some are in great distress, some are angry, and some are totally hopeless.&nbsp; You can see it on their faces when you are leading worship.&nbsp; This is why I close my eyes so often when I'm leading--I just have to focus on God and not look out at the crowd all the time.&nbsp; I feel like my fellow worshipers need some personal space to privately worship and not be looked at by the worship leader.&nbsp; I need my own personal space to worship, too.&nbsp; But many times, I really don't want to look out at their faces and see their pain.&nbsp; It is hard to see people looking downcast in spirit or even totally broken. I praise God that I belong to a church where people feel safe and free to come to God wherever they are at spiritually or even emotionally, and they do not feel they have to put on false heirs about it.&nbsp; But I find myself praying for those individuals in my church body who appear to be struggling while they "wait" on God.&nbsp; I can so empathize--we've all been there.&nbsp; I shared with my band mates that I think it is really important when we are scheduled to lead, that we are sensitive to this, and that we as a group pray each week for the people who will be there to worship with us.&nbsp; We need to pray for God to move in their lives and in our lives, as well.&nbsp; We need to just be there for each other.&nbsp; We must also pray that we can be vessels of light and encouragement through our music for our fellow church body that is, "waiting on God," too.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-2835783630758445822" itemprop="description articleBody"></div><br /><br /><span class="post-timestamp"><a class="timestamp-link" href="http://gamutgirl.blogspot.com/2012/08/while-we-wait.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2012-08-24T07:05:00-05:00"></abbr></a></span>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-21743517209559402142014-03-13T09:45:00.000-05:002014-03-13T09:51:59.259-05:00Fueled by Love<div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp; <span style="font-size: large;"><b>"<i>Do everything in love</i>."</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>1 Corinthians 16:14 </b></span></div><br />This blog post was, "fueled" by a few things--the recent debut of talk show host, Jimmy Fallon, on the, <i>"The Tonight Show,"</i> an e-devotional I recently read by Rick Warren, and a recent conversation with my mother.&nbsp; On his debut show, Jimmy Fallon shared humble, sincere sentiments about his new venture, as well as, why he thinks he has been successful thus far and how he hopes it will continue.&nbsp; He said he believes the one thing that has been the reason for any success he has had, is the fact that he just <i>loves people</i>.&nbsp; He said he has tried to make it his main purpose to love people and let that love, and his desire to make their lives better (which is, <i>love</i>, again), be the motivation in all his work.&nbsp; When I think about how Jimmy treats each and every one of his guests, I can readily see this kind of love.&nbsp; When I think about the kinds of questions he asks them and his reactions to their answers, I clearly see this kind of love.&nbsp; He just cares about people.&nbsp; He sees the best in everyone.&nbsp; He is not partial.&nbsp; He is not competitive.&nbsp; He is a joyful, loving soul--and that bubbles forth from his very being nightly.&nbsp; I was already a huge fan of the guy, and those comments certainly made me a bigger one.&nbsp; <br /><br />About a week later, I read an online devotional by Pastor Rick Warren entitled, "<i>Bring Your Love and Work Together</i>," and was reminded strongly of many things Jimmy shared in his opening speech.&nbsp; The idea of, letting love be our motivation or, "fuel," rang true yet again.&nbsp; Pastor Warren shared that if we make love our chief aim, our work will not only be done well and be enjoyable to <i>us</i>, but it will also be an effective and pleasing sacrifice and ministry <i>to</i> God and <i>for </i>God in the lives of others.&nbsp; We all want our work and efforts to matter and make a difference--it is an innate, God-given trait and desire.&nbsp; I cannot think of a better way for it to matter than for love to be the source of it all.&nbsp; In his devotional, Pastor Warren fittingly quoted Mother Teresa:<br /><br /><h1 class="quoteText">"It's not how much we give but how much <i>love </i>we put into giving."&nbsp; ~Mother Teresa</h1><h1 class="quoteText">&nbsp;</h1><h1 class="quoteText"></h1>When I think about the people I love the most, I realize that the work or service I do for them does not come with expectations or conditions.&nbsp; I serve them because I love them, period.&nbsp; It is easy to do this for those we deeply love.&nbsp; But how do we give this kind of love in our work and service to those who do not deserve it or who perhaps make it difficult for us to keep love as our goal?&nbsp; 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, "<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><i>Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things</i>."&nbsp; Furthermore, 1 John 4:8 says, "</span><span class="text 1John-4-8" id="en-NIV-30612"><i>Whoever does not love does not know God, because God IS love</i>," and </span><span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">1 John 4:19 states, "</span><span class="text 1John-4-19" id="en-ESV-30606"><i>We love because He first loved us</i>."&nbsp; So I deduce that since God <i>IS </i>love and He loved us <i>FIRST</i>, we are called to love others if we say we know and love Him.&nbsp; His love for us is our motivation and fuel for loving others.&nbsp; If we say we believe in Him and His Word, then we should be willing to truly give the kind of love that bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things.&nbsp; Some people in your life will test you on all four of those levels.&nbsp; They do things that make it difficult to bear and endure them.&nbsp; They say things that make it hard to believe in them or have hope where they are concerned.&nbsp; But we are still called to love them.&nbsp; Make no mistake--there are some people God removes from our lives (or desires for <i>us</i> to remove from our lives) and love them, "from a far."&nbsp; But for those who enter and remain, love is the best answer.</span><br /><br />When I think about my reasons for serving difficult people, at times I find myself more motivated by guilt and fear than love.&nbsp; I guilt myself that God will be angry with me for withholding my love to them.&nbsp; I am fearful He will be disappointed in me if I only love those who are easy to love.&nbsp; I guilt myself that I won't be a good Christian example if I cannot learn to serve those who do not love or serve me back, or who perhaps do not treat me well.&nbsp; But God does not want us to serve others in His name out of guilt, fear, or people-pleasing.&nbsp; He wants us to love the difficult people because that is what He did.&nbsp; We are <i>all</i> difficult, and He loves us anyway.&nbsp; He wants to bless us for loving in the tough situations, not just the easy ones.&nbsp; Not only do we miss out on blessings when conditional love, guilt, or fear are our motives, but we run out of fuel much quicker, too.&nbsp; It's the same with serving God.&nbsp; If we do so with conditions, guilt, or fear, we will be frazzled quickly.&nbsp; We will be focused on the negatives.&nbsp; We will not have passion in our work, and it will show.&nbsp; But if we do our work and ministries as if, "unto the Lord," and in order to please <i>Him</i> out of our deep love for Him, only good pours out.&nbsp; That is the kind of work that not only enriches <i>your</i> life, but the lives of others.&nbsp; That is the kind of work that may wear you out physically, but it empowers and energizes you spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. When we operate with that kind of love, we can be dead-dog-tired...but deep down, we feel like a million bucks.<br /><br />Shortly following the debut of Jimmy Fallon and reading Pastor Rick Warren's devotional, I had a conversation with my mother regarding my love of music and singing.&nbsp; She said, "<i>Boy, honey. You must really enjoy doing this to go through all the vocal exhaustion, physical exhaustion, rehearsals, constant learning of new music, schedule-keeping, and time away from home that it requires.&nbsp; I worry about you sometimes, Steph.&nbsp; You are always tired--I know you are working so hard, and that you have such late nights and long hours for little personal gain.&nbsp; But...you're also always so happy!&nbsp; Your dad and I laugh because you beam the entire time you are singing!&nbsp; You really love this, don't you</i>?!"&nbsp; We had a big chuckle at the hilarious impracticality and seeming imbalance of what I give to my music and what I get in return.&nbsp; Mom was right--I am usually pretty beat and my work does entail a great deal of personal strain for little pay.&nbsp; But I love serving God in the worship leading I do at my church, <i>and</i> in my band-work outside of church.&nbsp; I take Him with me wherever I go and I serve Him wherever I go.&nbsp; I just love music.&nbsp; I love the people <i>with</i> whom I work and serve, <i>and </i>the people <i>for</i> whom I work and serve.&nbsp; I love everything about it.&nbsp; <i>Love</i>...it is a wellspring of fuel for a weary soul.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b><i>Related Scripture:</i></b></u></span><br /><br />Colossians 3:23, "<i>Whatever you do, work at it with <b>all your heart</b>, as working <b>for the Lord</b>, not for human masters</i>."<br /><br />Ephesians 6:7, "<i>Work with <b>enthusiasm</b>, as though you were working <b>for the Lord </b>rather than for people</i>."<br />&nbsp; <br />1 Corinthians 13:3, "<i>If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have <b>love</b>, I gain nothing</i>." <br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-54214190763810002052014-02-28T11:40:00.003-06:002014-02-28T12:09:04.674-06:00Growing the Fruit of PatienceIn writing this final post in my three-part blog series on, <i>The Three Fruits of the Spirit with Which I Struggle</i>, it has become apparent to me that the three fruits with which I struggle most are quite related--they all have to do with me trusting in God and His timing.&nbsp; They all have to do with me relinquishing ultimate control to Him.&nbsp; Comically and casually-speaking, they all have to do with me, "chilling out!"&nbsp; All three of my problem fruits, <i>peace, self-control,</i> and <i>patience,</i> seem to also have a great deal to do with my personality.&nbsp; I am a driven, "perfectionistic," worry-wart, goal-oriented, somewhat restless, and high-stress person by nature.&nbsp; I want things done, I want them done right, and I want them done <i>now</i>--and I don't want anyone or anything causing any problems in the interim (and even if nothing or no one is, I'm worrying about that changing)!<br /><br />In looking honestly at the nine, <i>Fruits of the Spirit</i> in Galatians 5:22-23, I bet you would find that the three lowest grown fruits on your personal tree would also have some similarities.&nbsp; When we are low in one fruit, it can readily affect other fruits that are similar in nature.&nbsp; I am guessing those who struggle with <i>joy</i>, probably also struggle with <i>kindness</i> and <i>gentleness</i>.&nbsp; If you are a serious-type soul, you probably prefer to keep to yourself and you secretly wish others would do the same.&nbsp; You probably struggle to find humor in day-to-day life, and therefore, laughter isn't something heard from your lips often.&nbsp; Perhaps you are even borderline crabby much of the time and a bit cynical in life.&nbsp; You prefer to think in private and keep those thoughts to yourself--and you wish others would just do the same.&nbsp; In line at the grocery store, you are one of those people at whom I<i> </i>purposefully try to smile, and you look at me like you'd rather eat me for lunch than return the nicety.&nbsp; You prefer to handle your own problems--and wish others would do likewise.&nbsp; Your jaded soul does not understand people who compliment you or others, and assume it is flattery driven by weakness or impure motives.&nbsp; You find yourself putting your foot in your mouth often, and privately glean sick pleasure in preying on the weaknesses of others.&nbsp; People who wear their hearts on their sleeves deserve it, in your view.&nbsp; They are, "easy targets."&nbsp; You tend to say things in a, "tell it like it is" manner, and may not have many friends due to that.&nbsp; Oh, well...that's less trouble for you, in your mind.<br /><br />If you are someone who needs more <i>love, goodness</i>, and <i>faithfulness</i>, you perhaps struggle to treat your spouse or family in ways that show them they are second only to God.&nbsp; Perhaps you have lost touch with relatives and friends because you just do not know how to maintain good relationships or show others they are loved and valued.&nbsp; It all takes so much energy, you would rather just let those relationships go by the wayside than exert any effort in showing others they matter to you.&nbsp; Maybe you don't really understand God's love or His personal love for you.&nbsp; Therefore, you aren't very faithful in your walk with Him or anyone else.&nbsp; You might even view God as a strict, distant disciplinarian Who expects too much of you.&nbsp; Since you cannot find the faithfulness to live-up to His grand expectations, you have given-up trying.&nbsp; Maybe you aren't even very faithful, loving, or good to yourself.&nbsp; Perhaps love and faithfulness are things you have not been shown by many people in life--so you do not have them readily available for others.&nbsp; Maybe you view relationships as avenues for superficial joy and fun, but the moment it gets tough or real, you are gone--or you run others off.&nbsp; Your love is superficial, selfish, and lofty.&nbsp; You by all means expect people to be good to you, but you do not spend much time trying to be good back to them.&nbsp; Forgiveness is easily afforded to you, but you do not desire to return the favor.&nbsp; You make goals for yourself and rarely see any of them come to pass.&nbsp; You are flighty, easily bored, and self-concerned.<br /><br />I do not say those things to be harsh.&nbsp; The simple fact is, none of us exhibit all nine, <i>Fruits of the Spirit</i> 100% of the time.&nbsp; If we did, we would be perfect like Christ (and we know that is a far-fetched notion)!&nbsp; I say those things only to get you thinking about your own need for God's fruits in your life.&nbsp; All nine fruits are related--they are all traits God desires for us to grow abundantly in our lives through the power of His Spirit.&nbsp; They are for our betterment and blessing, and more importantly, for that of those He has placed in our lives.&nbsp; But I believe they can be grouped in threes by further similarity.&nbsp; For example, there are many kinds of apples--whether they are Galas, Fujis, or Honey Crisp, they are still apples and are all related.&nbsp; But some apples are even more similar--some are better for baking and some are better for raw eating.&nbsp; Likewise, the <i>Fruits of the Spirit</i> are all related, but some more closely than others.&nbsp; I believe the lack of any of them in our lives is easily linked to a deeper sin-issue or tendency.&nbsp; But they are all fruit and we are supposed to exhibit them, or at least, <i>work</i> to exhibit them if we know Christ.&nbsp; They are the product of a life lived knowing God.&nbsp; They are a sign to the world that we are different somehow.<br /><br />The Pastor of my church, Jim Congdon, began the New Year with a sermon series entitled, "<i>Simplify</i>."&nbsp; In our quest to create New Year's resolutions, Pastor Jim asked us all to, "keep it simple," and pick <i>ONE WORD</i> to carry with us through the year.&nbsp; He encouraged us that by having just <i>one word </i>upon which to strive, we would be better able to improve and less likely to give-up.&nbsp; When we try to tackle too many goals, we tend to quit, and hence, fail.&nbsp; The word I chose for this year is fittingly, <i>patience.</i>&nbsp; It happens to be the last fruit on which I am writing for this blog series.&nbsp; My husband and a few close friends know this is my word for the year, and it has already been a great help (as well as, great comedic relief) to have that word present itself as the need arises.&nbsp; Just the other day while taking my friend out for lunch, I began to lose my cool with another driver who pulled out in front of me, and she lovingly, softly said to me with a wink and smile, "Paaaaatienccccce."&nbsp; We had a big chuckle!&nbsp; The word presented itself a few more times that day (hey, it's not my fault the people of Lawrence don't know how to drive...pray for me, people)!<br /><br />I have written about patience at length in a former blog post entitled, "<b><i>While We Wait</i></b>."&nbsp; In that post I share of the fact that we are all waiting on things in our lives.&nbsp; None of us ever really "arrive" at having every personal need met and every desire fulfilled.&nbsp; I don't need to bemoan or repeat myself with the same thoughts here, and you can easily put that blog title into the "search" tab (to the right on this blog page) if you want to read more on, "waiting."&nbsp; Essentially, we all have small issues of needed patience in our lives and we have big ones.&nbsp; In some of the big areas, God is teaching us patience and then some!&nbsp; Perhaps we have waited many years, even decades, for some prayers to be answered or fulfilled.&nbsp; But I believe the main reason God wants us to exhibit patience is so we will learn to let go of trying to control our lives and just trust Him.&nbsp; If we got everything we wanted or needed every moment we asked, we would be intolerable, spoiled brats (I already am one, and I certainly don't get everything I need or want)!&nbsp; God wants us to see that He can sustain us regardless of the things we are lacking in this life.&nbsp; He wants to prove to us that He is all we really need (because He is).<br /><br />When I think about my moments of impatience, some of the things that are going through my head (or that have <i>gone</i> through my head and are <i>now</i> fueling the impatience) are the following:<br /><br />"Well, crap.&nbsp; I am going to be late--as always!"<br />"I swear--I never have enough time to do ANYTHING." <br />"Why is this happening to <i>me</i>?"<br />"Why did God give that to him/her and not to <i>me?</i>&nbsp; He/she doesn't even want it or value it.&nbsp; They squander it.&nbsp; They take all credit for it." <br />"This person is doing/saying this on purpose to hurt me."<br />"I am so tired of being manipulated and used." <br />"Do I have a sign around my neck that says, 'Make fun of me?!'"<br />"Do I have a sign around my neck that says, 'Kick me--I don't kick back?!'" <br />"I don't deserve this."<br />"This could turn out disastrous."<br />"All my hard work is for nothing."<br />"This is never going to change."<br />"This person is never going to change."<br />"There is no way God will ever turn this around."<br />"This situation is hopeless."<br />"I'm not going to get this done now."<br />"I'm never going to get this done." <br />"This is going to set me back."<br />"If I don't get this done today, tomorrow will be worse."<br />"If God doesn't change this, life won't be right...and it's just going to get worse." <br />"I should have been able to tackle all this--I am such a loser."<br />"Why does it seem others can juggle way more than I?!"<br />"I'm just so tired, Lord.&nbsp; I'm just beat."<br />"I can't do this anymore, God.&nbsp; I'm done."<br />"God, I sowed 'good' in that person's life.&nbsp; Why I am reaping 'bad?'&nbsp; It isn't fair. I thought You were just?&nbsp; Your Word says, 'We reap what we sow.'&nbsp; Come on, God!"<br />"There <i>was</i> no point in that, God.&nbsp; What were you thinking?!" <br />"What<i> is</i> the point of any of this?!&nbsp; It is a waste of my time!"<br />"God, why am I everyone's whipping post?! I get so tired of being everybody's door mat."<br /><br />Now, please understand that these are not thoughts I have daily, weekly, or even monthly.&nbsp; In my desire to be vulnerable and transparent, the last thing I need is someone reading this and thinking, "Oh, my.&nbsp; She REALLY has issues!"&nbsp; My answer to that would be, "Yes, <i>I do</i>.&nbsp; And the fact that you are thinking <i>that</i>, tells me you do, <i>too</i>, friend," (i.e., critical spirit and opinionated negativity)!&nbsp; I only share this list with you to help you recognize mental triggers that will start you down the path to impatience.&nbsp; Many times they are subtle thoughts I don't even realize I am having.&nbsp; Some times I believe they aren't even my thoughts, but the whispers of the enemy spurring me toward impatience and negative discouragement.&nbsp; I do think we have to be cautious giving too much credit to the enemy.&nbsp; We get <i>ourselves</i> into plenty of trouble, too!&nbsp; As I look over the list though, I realize yet again what a fearful, over-driven, type-A, people-pleasing, do-list-crosser-off-er I am.&nbsp; I see clearly what a worry-wart I am.&nbsp; It is obvious to me that I need to spend more time, "chillaxing," so to speak!&nbsp; I can see a few items on the list that display doubt and a lack of trust in God (as well as, the prideful boldness to think I can bargain and argue with Him).&nbsp; It is also very sad to me to see how the actions and words of others too often provoke negative, hurtful, angry thoughts in me that then manifest as impatience.&nbsp; Impatience is simply me trying to be God of my own life--God of my time, my do-list, my relationships, my plans, my ministries, my work, my everything.&nbsp; Yes, friends--I'm a control freak in recovery.&nbsp; If you have ever struggled with impatience, you are, too.<br /><br />When we get impatient, we display the ugly side of ourselves.&nbsp; It comes out as anger and perhaps even some choice vocabulary words.&nbsp; But the essence of that is an impure heart--and we ALL have one of those from time to time.&nbsp; When we exhibit impatience, we are essentially saying that we don't have the desire or the time to deal with things or people who are beneath us (ugh) and our much more important lives and plans (ugh, again).&nbsp; We are self-absorbed and greedy with our time and our desires.&nbsp; When we have to wait on something--even something little--and we are impatient, we are basically demanding something of God in utter greed for ourselves.&nbsp; We possess the fast food mentality of, "Give it to me now and give it to me <i>my way</i>!" &nbsp; It is pure ugliness.&nbsp; It is rotten fruit.<br /><br />Honestly, a severe lacking of any of the nine, <i>Fruits of the Spirit</i>, brings ugliness.&nbsp; People who refuse to return a smile suffer from it.&nbsp; People who refuse to offer up a kind word of encouragement but constantly expect it, suffer from ugliness.&nbsp; People who are nice to your face but "talk smack" on you behind your back suffer from it.&nbsp; People who are always looking for the negative in others and critically picking apart everything and everyone in life suffer greatly from it.&nbsp; People who cannot be faithful to their spouse, their family, or their friends suffer from rottenness.&nbsp; As I thought about the rotten ugliness that comes from a lack of fruit, and the opposing beauty of a healthy tree or vine filled with luscious, ripe fruit, I was reminded of what Jesus said in John 15:5, "<i>I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.</i>"&nbsp; Without living a life in Christ the ugliness will rear its head--and the fruit will either not grow or it will rot.&nbsp; Perhaps you're thinking, "Well, I've succeeded at a lot of things in my life and not lived 'for Christ.'&nbsp; So I'm doing just fine, thank you."&nbsp; My response to that would be the following:&nbsp; Evaluate your heart and your life seriously and honestly.&nbsp; Ask <i>God</i> how you are doing, and listen patiently for His reply.&nbsp; I believe any successes we have that aren't done for the glory of God or done with a heart that has given all credit to Christ may be fruit, but they are rotten fruit.&nbsp; What good did it do anyone that you succeeded if you have given the wrong person credit?!&nbsp; It is all folly and all in vain.&nbsp; It will be dust one day and no one will care.&nbsp; Nothing good we do here will make any difference in the lives of others without a legacy of Christ being left behind with it.&nbsp; That is a fruit that never rots and it multiplies a harvest of sound-living for generations to come.<br /><br />In closing, I leave you with this prayer:<i>&nbsp;</i><br /><br /><i>Dear Lord,</i><br /><br /><i>Thank You for loving me in spite of my constant battle to grow more fruit in my life.&nbsp; Thank You for Your mercy, patience, and forgiveness in my life.&nbsp; I feel like I am a loser-Christian many times, Lord.&nbsp; I fail you daily, and I have been an embarrassment to the throne of God many times in my life.&nbsp; But I feel Your love, care, and provision in my life, and it keeps me going.&nbsp; I know that apart from You, I will either be fruitless, or I will drop rotten fruit from the branches of my life.&nbsp; I'm sick of doing both, Lord.&nbsp; Help me this year to remember my word, PATIENCE, and immediately relinquish control of my life to You whenever I am tempted to fret and stew with negative, worrisome thoughts.&nbsp; You will take care of all the things pressing upon me and my life in Your time and in Your way.&nbsp; I trust You, Lord.&nbsp; You are the best time-keeper of my life, and I know You want only the best for me.&nbsp; Nothing and no one can harm me without it going through Your hand first--and even then, it will only bring good and betterment to my life.&nbsp; So I relinquish all fear, and ask You to shelter me and my life from things and people that bring harm and pain, and that are not helpful to me.&nbsp; I trust that You know what is best and will bring what is best.&nbsp; I ask You to close and lock doors that are not Your will, and remove those things and people in my life that/who are not good for me and are stifling my growth of fruit.&nbsp; I ask You to bring only those things and people that/who will spur me on to growing more fruit abundantly for Your Name and Your purposes. </i><i>I praise You, God, for giving me just what I needed in a husband.&nbsp; Thank You, God, for Matt~that he helps me to relax quite regularly, and that he has such a calming presence and is a precious, laid-back soul.&nbsp; Thank You for giving me someone with whom to share this life who is all that I am not.&nbsp; Help me to never take him for granted.&nbsp; Help me to never take YOU for granted.&nbsp; Help me to do everything in Your name, in Your strength, and for Your glory so that I am not tempted to become impatient. Help me to stay closely connected to Your vine so that my branches produce a harvest that will make You proud.&nbsp; I love you, Lord.&nbsp; I need you every second of every minute of every day.</i><br /><br /><i>I ask all these things in Jesus' Name,</i><br /><i>Amen.</i><br /><br />Be fruitful, friends.&nbsp; Much love in the harvest to you!<br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-12017649965557157932014-02-11T15:33:00.004-06:002014-02-12T13:06:22.918-06:00Growing the Fruit of Self-Control<br /><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;<span style="font-size: large;">"<b><i><span class="text Prov-25-28" id="en-ESV-17142">A man without self-control</span></i></b><span class="indent-1"><i><b> </b></i><span class="text Prov-25-28"><b><i>is like a city broken into and left without walls</i></b>."</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-25-28">Proverbs 25:28 (ESV)&nbsp;</span></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-25-28"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />In my prior blog post, I stated that out of the nine, <i>Fruits of the Spirit</i>, found in Galatians 5:22-23, there are <i>three </i>with which I struggle to possess.&nbsp; I discussed how, <i>peace</i>, is one fruit I don't always have ready for the picking.&nbsp; Today I will share the <i>second</i> fruit upon which I prayerfully hope to have an increased harvest--that of, <i>self-control</i>.<br /><br />As I came across the key verse above in my study of this fruit, two things stood out to me.&nbsp; One, I found it interesting that a lack of self-control in your life is as if you have been violated (or, "broken into").&nbsp; I tend to think of self-control by its name--an issue of being able or unable to control <i>yourself</i>.&nbsp; But this verse hints that it is not only a, "self" issue, but also one of being controlled by an external force.&nbsp; Something trespasses your boundaries and invades your space.&nbsp; Two, not only has a breach occurred, but you are left vulnerable (you are, "left without walls").&nbsp; In researching Scriptures on self-control, I found many more verses that spoke to the idea of <i>choosing</i> to control oneself than I did verses like this which include the power of the external issue.&nbsp; It makes sense to me that there is more involved in the matter of self-control than just <i>me</i>.&nbsp; It typically involves being under attack.&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Even Jesus, Who was perfect and never succumbed to His temptations, was not just dealing with a, "self" issue when tempted.&nbsp; Scripture makes it clear that He was being prodded by the enemy.&nbsp; Since Jesus was perfect and had full access to God the Father (He <i>was God the Father </i>in the flesh--John 10:30; Colossians 2:9), He was never provoked to sin by Satan (2 Corinthians 5:21; Hebrews 4:15).&nbsp; We, however, are human and sinful.&nbsp; Therefore, we are not only easier to prod, but we also get provoked to sin quite readily.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Friends, I desire to share with you the areas in which I struggle with self-control--not because I view you as priests to whom I must confess.&nbsp; I don't need a priest--I've already got a perfect One (Hebrews 4:14-16).&nbsp; I am desirous of sharing because it will perhaps bring to mind your own particular areas where improvement is needed.&nbsp; When we do not have "get real" moments with ourselves, our progress is stifled.&nbsp; To reach any goal, specific targets must be identified.&nbsp; I am also sharing in order that my words may bring life, peace, hope, encouragement, and help to someone else.&nbsp; So here goes...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>The areas with which I particularly struggle with self-control are as follows:</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">*<i>Over-eating</i>.&nbsp; Let me be clear--I do not struggle on a ridiculous level with this.&nbsp; I have never been someone who eats an entire box of cookies (or even desires that) or half a bag of chips in one sitting.&nbsp; I don't struggle with improper snacking.&nbsp; Chocolate even gets stale in my candy dish (and I crave chocolate).&nbsp; But I have a healthy appetite at meal-time.&nbsp; My stomach prefers three squares a day and I want them to be reasonably hearty.&nbsp; I don't want "seconds," I would just like to eat around 1,800-2,000 calories per day versus 1,400-1,600, as is recommended for a woman my height, age, and activity-level.&nbsp; Therefore, I have a battle with maintaining the preferred weight at which I feel the best.&nbsp; Since turning 40, I am perpetually trying to manage 5-10 pounds.&nbsp; Middle-aged women cannot eat three squares a day--certainly not average or hearty ones.&nbsp; Health experts say we should instead eat five tiny meals throughout a given day, or 2 to 3 light snacks and one smallish, healthy meal.&nbsp; Basically, none of the food I love qualifies (Mexican, Asian, Italian, BBQ, etc.), because a typical meal in any of those food genres is well over the suggested calorie max for one meal (unless you take two bites and call that a feast).&nbsp; Well, I think this stinks.&nbsp; But it has become apparent to me after a discussion with my sister in-law, that it is an issue of self-control with which I know God desires to help me.&nbsp; It doesn't help that in my twenties (and even thirties) I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted and not gain much, if any, weight at all.&nbsp; It came off much easier, too.&nbsp; You get spoiled with that blessing and it becomes a curse later.</div><br />* <i>My thought-life (worries/fears/harboring hurts).</i>&nbsp; When your personality is such that you are prone to certain sins or destructive behaviors, look out.&nbsp; They can become fierce bad habits and we all know that our minds are the control-centers for everything else--our emotions, our mental/physical health, our behavior, and our beliefs.&nbsp; The Bible says we all have sins to which we are susceptible, and my mind is my biggest obstacle.&nbsp; God has been dealing with me on these things my entire life, but I praise Him for the strides I have made with regard to worry and fear in the past year.&nbsp; I am also done with regrets and holding grudges--I honestly have none.&nbsp; I figure God is best suited to deal with everyone who has ever wronged me intentionally or who chooses not to forgive me for my wrongdoings.&nbsp; I can also happily deduce that those who have chosen to walk out of my life made the right choice for them, me, or both.&nbsp; When we truly know God, He is our ultimate Protector.&nbsp; He is fair, just, and knows more about all our hurtful situations than even we do.&nbsp; So He is best-equipped to manage who stays and who goes.&nbsp; He promises to fight our battles and we only need to sit still (Exodus 14:14).&nbsp; <br /><br />* <i>OCD tendencies/perfectionism.&nbsp;</i> Okay, people.&nbsp; It's, "get real" time, and I would plead for your discrete grace, maturity, understanding, and ethical mindset here.&nbsp; I have <i>never</i> been diagnosed with <i>any</i> mental illness.&nbsp; But if I am utterly honest, I know I have had times where my perfectionism has been borderline OCD, at best.&nbsp; When you cannot put your groceries away until they have been wiped-off (because those items have been touched by Lord knows who and will eventually end up on your kitchen counter), and the labels are facing front for quick location, you probably have an issue with perfectionism.&nbsp; (Now you perfectionists can make fun of me for that, but you probably have your own odd annoyances, too.&nbsp; I once was mocked for being a germaphobe by someone who takes her own sheets to every hotel and puts a huge scarf down on her movie theater seat)!&nbsp; But God has been working with me the past several years with the realization that perfectionism is a colossal waste of time.&nbsp; I am still battling this.&nbsp; My church's Head Pastor, Jim Congdon, once shared a sermon on perfectionism.&nbsp; I recall him stating that if we, "perfectionists," could learn to just be happy with doing every task to our own 80% approval-rating, we would still be doing them to a much higher level than the majority, <i>and</i> saving ourselves an enormous amount of time, energy, and stress.&nbsp; I have often used that grading scale when I am doing tasks that I would rather do, "perfectly" than a mere 80% (Lord, help me)!&nbsp; Our time and lives are short, so it is time to get real about the idiosyncrasies that bug us--are they really worth the effort?!&nbsp; All OCD really is, is an issue of <i>over</i>-control (that could be an alternate for the acronym)!&nbsp; OCD is self-control on acid.&nbsp; It is a lack of trust in God on meth.&nbsp; You are motivated by pure fear and therefore, trying to control your life so that you don't have any ridicule, illness, pain, trials, problems, more work later, and so you can feel better about the stuff you <i>cannot</i> control.&nbsp; It is a desire to over-compensate (ah ha, another alternate for the acronym) for things that are really bugging you.&nbsp; The sad reality is that you are not in control of any of it anyway.&nbsp; If your family or friends are going to mock you for not making your bed with hospital corners or not keeping your car tires glowing from Armor All, they need to get a life--and you need to get new friends and tell your family to step-off!&nbsp; If you get sick, who cares?!&nbsp; There's always a great film on Netflix you haven't had time to watch!&nbsp; Friends, if any of this is ringing true for you, please know that I have prayed in advance for any and all who battle this on <i>any</i> level.&nbsp; I give you a sisterly hug and much love via this post!&nbsp; I don't know about you, but I don't care to be remembered as the lady who could serve you dinner off her immaculate floors.&nbsp; Dear Lord, I pray I have more influence and more to give in this life than that.<br /><br />* <i>Diligence with health/fitness.&nbsp; </i>I am probably being too hard on myself with this one because I know for a fact that I workout more than most. I am also one of those crazy people who actually loves to workout!&nbsp; But on the days when I would rather be lazy, those are the times when I especially need to get off my hiney and drag myself joyfully to the gym.&nbsp; Why be so fanatical?&nbsp; Because those are also the days when the above issues tend to begin to surface.&nbsp; When you are sluggish in one area, it can be a slippery slope (as the key verse states--your city is without walls).&nbsp; I want to be a disciplined athlete--and diligent people do things even when they don't "feel" like it.&nbsp; Any doctor will tell you that every human needs to be physical and sweaty at least three times a week.&nbsp; I am faithful to this many weeks...then there are other weeks...<br /><br />* <i>Faithfulness with reading God's Word.&nbsp; </i>I have made significant improvements in the past few years with having a daily quiet time where I at least read a devotional and have my own prayer-time.&nbsp; Intercession is one of my spiritual gifts--I am a person who readily prayers throughout the day (and I don't even want to know the kind of person I would be if I didn't--I <i>need</i> it)!&nbsp; But as for serious Bible study, I need to work harder at making my time with God less of a, "do list" item.&nbsp; He cannot speak to me when I rush through my relationship with Him.<br /><br />* <i>Controlling my temper (in my car) &amp; watching my tongue (set a watch over my lips, Lord, Psalm 141:3).</i>&nbsp; I have previously shared of these sin issues ad nauseum.&nbsp; They are not major issues, but yes...my 1/4 Latina does rear its ugly head from time to time.<br /><br />It is funny yet sensible that a few of these areas of mine are so closely related to my other weaker fruits--<i>peace </i>and<i> patience</i>.&nbsp; I mentioned in my prior blog post on <i>peace</i> that to get victory over bad habits, you have to replace them with good ones.&nbsp; It is truly about choices--what are we going to choose to do with regard to our self-control:&nbsp; Are we going to suppress bad tendencies, or go with them?&nbsp; Are we going to let our borders be violated and open to further breachings, or set-up boundaries and guards?&nbsp; Are we going to create disciplined choices that bring life to our beings, or follow the same old unsuccessful patterns we are trying to beat? Are we going to do this in our own limited strength, or utilize the endless power of the Holy Spirit given to each of us who know Him...? <br /><br />Some of the stuff with which we need to exercise self-control is going to require <i>us</i> to control our own behavior.&nbsp; Some of it will require <i>relinquishing control</i> over it to God.&nbsp; What did Jesus do when tempted?&nbsp; He prayed asking God to deliver Him from it (invoking God's help and protection). He quoted Scripture to the enemy (setting His mind on the right things, reinstating the boundaries, and using the strongest weapon He had against His nemesis).&nbsp; He <i>fled</i> the temptation (shoring up His borders and changing the setting so as to secure the best outcome).&nbsp; We have to do the same things.&nbsp; Just as with the fruit of <i>peace</i>, we have to <i>choose</i> to exercise self-control, as the word itself suggests.&nbsp; We have to guard the borders of our personal city.&nbsp; But we are never alone in that battle--God is always with us and there to help us.&nbsp; We first make the choice, and then use His wisdom and strength to bring it to fruition and harvest.&nbsp; <i>Help us all, Lord--especially me.&nbsp; Thank You for loving us regardless of our imperfections, quirks, and failings.&nbsp; Thank You that Your grace is enough.&nbsp; Amen.</i><br /><br /><u><i><b>Related Scriptures:</b></i></u><br /><br />*&nbsp; 2 Corinthians 12:9, "<i>But He said to me, <span class="woj">'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.'</span> Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me</i>." <br /><br />*&nbsp; 2 Timothy 1:7, "<i>For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.</i>"<br /><br />*&nbsp; 1 Corinthians 9:25, "<i>Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable</i>." Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-86419992774897264722014-01-20T10:52:00.000-06:002014-01-20T10:59:44.637-06:00Growing the Fruit of Peace<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Phil-4-6" id="en-ESV-29432">"<span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.</i></span></span></span><span class="text Phil-4-7" id="en-ESV-29433"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>&nbsp; And the <u><b>peace</b></u> of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus</i></span></span>.</span>"</div><div style="text-align: center;">Philippians 4:6-7 </div><br />In my previous blog post, I shared that out of the nine biblical, "Fruits of the Spirit" found in Galatians 5:22-23, ("<i><span class="text Gal-5-22" id="en-ESV-29168">But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, </span></i><span class="text Gal-5-23" id="en-ESV-29169"><i>gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law</i>"</span>), there are three with which I struggle most.&nbsp; For my next three posts and in an effort to share my personal study as I seek to improve upon them, I will highlight and share further about those three fruits.<br /><br />The first <i>Fruit of the Spirit</i> that I need to grow and possess is the fruit of, "peace." Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines peace as, "<i>a period of time or state in which there is no war or fighting; an agreement to end war; a state of tranquility or quiet; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; and harmony in personal relationships</i>."&nbsp; On a personal level and where our daily lives are concerned, I would guess most of us are best acquainted with the last three definitions.&nbsp; Sure, like good pageant contestants, we all want world peace and can certainly be concerned with our nation's level of it.&nbsp; We Americans value the benefits liberty affords us.&nbsp; But unless you are a member of the U.S. Armed Forces (or a family member of one), you probably more often think of being, "at peace," in a more internal way.<br /><br />Just as there are many definitions for, "peace," in the dictionary, we can also find many Scriptures on peace in God's Word.&nbsp; I have chosen one of my favorites for the key verse, but there were many others I could have used (listed at the bottom).&nbsp; In looking over these verses, I found a few recurring themes which are good steps toward having more peace in life.&nbsp; <i>First</i>, in order to have <i>real</i> peace, you have to <b><i>know God personally</i></b>.&nbsp; He cannot fill you with His genuine peace, the kind mentioned in the key verse above, if He doesn't even know you as His child or you are running <i>from </i>Him instead of <i>toward</i> Him.<br /><br /><i>Second</i>, if you want peace, you have to <b><i>pray about</i> <i>everything</i></b>.&nbsp; That's right--<i>everything</i>.&nbsp; Nothing is too big or small for God, and nothing is too sinful or taboo.&nbsp; In 1 Thessalonians 5:17 we are told to, "<i>Pray without ceasing</i>."&nbsp; Does this mean we are to literally be praying all the time?&nbsp; Of course not.&nbsp; How would we ever be able to have an intelligent conversation with another human being, get anything done, or sleep?!&nbsp; I believe that verse is telling us to be so close in our relationship with the Lord that <i>not </i>speaking to Him frequently through the day is an oddity.&nbsp; In Hebrews 4:6 it says, "<span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031"><i>Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need</i>."&nbsp; God desires for us to come boldly to Him with our needs and concerns.&nbsp; This tells me that nothing is off-limits--God already knows everything rolling around in our heads anyway.&nbsp; He wants us to share with Him our needs and struggles.&nbsp; He is not afraid of our emotional baggage or our personal issues.&nbsp; We are told in Scripture to confess our sins to God regularly (1 John 1:9, "</span><span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031"><span class="text 1John-1-9" id="en-ESV-30533"><i>If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness</i>"</span>).&nbsp; If you let the mistakes you make in your life pile-up, before long you are going to be weighed-down with a lot of baggage and your peace will be gone.&nbsp; It's just the way we are wired.&nbsp; Whether we want to admit it or not, when we fail God and others, we feel badly about it.&nbsp; When we hide stuff from God (or attempt to hide stuff), we feel like phonies.&nbsp; The stuff we do against God and others hurts <i>us</i>, too.&nbsp; But when we confess our sins to God, He not only forgives, He heals and blesses us.&nbsp; In time, He even rights many of the wrongs.&nbsp; God just wants us to recognize our need for a relationship with Him and for His forgiveness, mercy, and help.&nbsp; He wants our open and honest communication just like any of our other loved ones do.</span><br /><br /><span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031">The <i>third</i> recurring theme I found in my study of peace is to, <b><i>trust God</i></b>. Once you pray about everything, you have to then<i> trust God</i> to take care of your sins and concerns.&nbsp; When I was just eighteen years old, I was married, caring for a baby, managing a home, going to college, and just really overwhelmed in about every area of my life.&nbsp; I called my mom one morning bawling and poured my heart out to her about my concerns.&nbsp; She shared something with me that I have never forgotten.&nbsp; She said, "<i>Steph, when you pray to God, this is what you are doing:&nbsp; You kneel down, pour out your heart to Him, lay all your burdens at His feet, and then you pick them all back up and walk away carrying them again.&nbsp; You have to figure out how to lay them at His feet and leave them there.</i>"&nbsp; I sat on the other end of the phone and could actually visualize myself doing just that every time I prayed.&nbsp; She was right.&nbsp; I wept and wept with my mother that day as she prayed with me on the phone.&nbsp; I was carrying the burden of my past sins of being a pregnant teenager.&nbsp; I was carrying the burden of maintaining a perfect home.&nbsp; I was carrying the burden of being the perfect student.&nbsp; I was carrying the burden of raising the perfect child.&nbsp; I was carrying the burden of having the perfect marriage.&nbsp; And none of it was going perfectly.&nbsp; I felt like an utter failure on every possible level.&nbsp; I was at the end of my rope.&nbsp; But God told me through my mom that day to <i>just trust Him</i>.&nbsp; All we can do in this life is the very best we can do in our human strength and weakness, and trust God with the rest.&nbsp; We have to trust Him when He says that He has forgiven us.&nbsp; We have to trust Him when He says to bring our burdens to Him and He will carry them for us. To this day, when I try to do everything perfectly and fail miserably at it, I recall that day and how God told me to just trust Him.&nbsp; He told me stop carrying burdens that I am too weak to carry because He wants to carry and handle them <i>for</i> me.&nbsp; Now when I pray I visualize myself leaving them there at His feet...and I try my darndest to walk away empty-handed and with much trust and hope.</span><br /><br /><span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031">The <i>fourth</i> recurring theme I found was to, <b><i>be thankful</i></b>.&nbsp; If you truly want peace in your life, you have to learn to start appreciating the good stuff God has given you.&nbsp; We've all heard the phrase, "count your blessings," but do we truly do this regularly?&nbsp; We need to do this as often as we brush our teeth.&nbsp; I personally brush mine three to four times a day, and I am going to try to make an honest effort to count my blessings while I do.&nbsp; If you are focused on the positive in your life, the negative will seem much smaller.&nbsp; It is a proven fact that grateful people are happy people.&nbsp; Furthermore, happy people are peaceful people.&nbsp; It's simple math really--if you want peace, joy, and positivity in your life, <i>choose</i> peace, joy, and positivity.&nbsp; That's really all being thankful is--looking at the positive instead of the negative, and thanking the Person Who gave you those positives.</span><br /><span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031"><br /></span><span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031">The <i>fifth </i>step toward peace I found was to, <i><b>seek and pursue God.</b>&nbsp;</i> When we are not at peace, we oftentimes are seeking or pursuing things that are stealing our peace<i>.&nbsp; </i>We may not even realize it.&nbsp; We typically think the peace-robbers are after <i>us</i>!&nbsp; But when we are restless, struggling with a relationship, battling a fear, or fretting over something dreadful, we are actually pursuing those things.&nbsp; We choose to allow things to steal our joy.&nbsp; We choose to exert energy in pondering and stressing over them.&nbsp; So in order to have real peace, we have to actually <i>pursue God instead</i>.&nbsp; We are told to replace bad habits with good ones, and there is a reason for that.&nbsp; You can stop doing something bad for a time. But in order to truly defeat the bad habit, you have to take it a step further and fill the void.&nbsp; Likewise, we have to rid ourselves of worrisome thoughts, actions, and words and seek God in those areas instead.&nbsp; When you pour yourself into God's Word, into praising Him, into His music, and into praying to Him, you are actively choosing God.&nbsp; When we choose God, we turn from the bad to the good--and before long, the things robbing our peace are gone.&nbsp; Psalm<i> 34:14 </i>says,<i> "</i></span><span class="text Heb-4-16" id="en-NKJV-30031"><i>Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."&nbsp; </i></span>We all personally need to come to the realization that without God, our lives are a slippery slope of pointless pursuits, chaos, and sin. The fact that, <i>nothing else satisfies like Jesus,</i> is the one thing that keeps me coming back in pursuit of Him. When I honestly think about the time when I am <i>truly</i> happiest and most at peace, it is when I am spending time with my Father.&nbsp; Whether I am sitting in my church listening to another awesome sermon, leading worship with the dear friends I have there, reading God's Word while cuddled up in my favorite blanket and sipping coffee, kneeling on my living room floor pouring my heart out to Him, or alone in my car jamming and praising Him with my favorite Christian music, I realize one thing--GOD is my best, great escape.&nbsp; He is my only real peace.&nbsp; Everything else satisfies me superficially and temporarily.&nbsp; But my Lord is a thirst-quencher unlike any other.<br /><br />In summation, I realize in looking back over the five key themes or steps to take toward peace, we have to <i>choose peace</i>.&nbsp; To steadily and readily grow the fruit of it in our lives is really up to us.&nbsp; Peace doesn't just happen--we make it happen by choosing God and actively choosing to intentionally follow the steps He has shown us to attain it.&nbsp; When I don't feel like choosing those steps, it is usually due to laziness, apathy, or pride.&nbsp; But none of those traits will give you peace, so why go there?!&nbsp; I want peace, and I want the kind that, "<i>guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus"</i> (Phil. 4:6-7).&nbsp; Amen.<br /><br /><u><i><b>Related Scriptures:</b></i></u><br /><br />Psalm 29:11, "<i><span class="text Ps-29-11" id="en-ESV-14320">May the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> give strength to His people!&nbsp; </span></i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span></i><span class="text Ps-29-11"><i>May the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> bless His people with peace</i>!"</span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-29-11">Psalm 85:8, "</span></span><i><span class="text Ps-85-8" id="en-ESV-15280">Let me hear what God the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> will speak, </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-85-8">for He will speak peace to His people, to His saints; </span></span></i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span></i><span class="text Ps-85-8"><i>but let them not turn back to folly.</i>"</span></span><br /><br /><span class="text Ps-37-37" id="en-NIV-14488">Psalm 37:37, <i>"Consider the blameless, observe the upright; </i></span><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks">a</span></i><span class="text Ps-85-8"><i> future awaits those who seek peace."</i>&nbsp;</span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8">Isaiah 26:3, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><i><span class="text Isa-26-3" id="en-NIV-18134">You will keep in perfect peace</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-26-3">those whose minds are steadfast,</span></span></i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span></i><span class="text Isa-26-3"><i>because they trust in You</i>."</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3">Matthew 11:28, "</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3"><span class="text Matt-11-28" id="en-NIV-23488"><span class="woj"><i>Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest</i>."</span></span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3">John 14:27, "</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3"><span class="text John-14-27" id="en-NIV-26696"><span class="woj"><i>Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid</i>."</span></span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3">John 16:33, "</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3"><span class="text John-16-33" id="en-NIV-26760"><span class="woj"><i>I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.</i>"</span></span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3">Romans 14:17, "</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3"><i>For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit</i>."</span></span></span></span><br /><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3">Romans 15:13, "</span></span></span></span><span class="text Ps-37-37" id="en-NIV-14488"><span class="text Ps-85-8"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3"><span class="text Rom-15-13" id="en-NIV-28317"><i>May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.</i>"</span> </span></span></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-37-37"><br /></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-37-37"><sup><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-26-3"></span></span> </sup></span></span>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-68224738473191824192014-01-02T15:29:00.002-06:002014-01-02T15:31:54.409-06:00Another Year, Another Chance<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"<span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><b>The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!'"</b></span></i><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><b> (NASB)</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><b><i>Lamentations 3:22-24</i></b></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><b><i>&nbsp;</i></b></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">As we find ourselves at the start of a brand new year, there are a few ways to perceive it.&nbsp; Some view it as just another time stamp and desire to continue on with life without any emotional rebirth or recalculation of plans for the future.&nbsp; Many regard it as a fresh start, with a renewed sense of purpose, fierce anticipation, and an impassioned hope of what lies ahead for them in 2014.&nbsp; Then there are those who consider it a time to not only reflect, but also realign and reset goals.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">After Christmas ends, I always chuckle at how promptly the fitness and gym commercials begin to air.&nbsp; A few weeks ago, I was thinking about how we, as women, are awfully hard on ourselves.&nbsp; After having numerous conversations in which I had heard women degrade themselves based solely on appearance (and I am horridly guilty of this, as well), it struck me how overly concerned we girls really are with outward beauty.&nbsp; You rarely hear another woman say, "<i>Gosh, I wish I could learn to love people more</i>," or, "<i>Man, I really wish I could stop being so jealous</i>," or, "<i>Boy, I really need to work on my critical spirit."</i>&nbsp; But you often hear, "I've gotta lose 10 pounds," or, "I wish I was taller."&nbsp; God's Word says we need to be more concerned with our internal beauty than our external (1 Samuel 16:7, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i>The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.&nbsp; Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart"</i>). &nbsp; So I wondered to myself weeks ago:&nbsp; If I stood on a downtown street corner and asked women what their Christmas wish for themselves would be, how many would give me an, "inward beauty" wish as their answer?! And how would <i><b>I</b></i> answer that question...???</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">There are many things in the, "outer beauty realm," that I wish I could change about myself by just wishing (praying) <i>or </i>even harder work--thinner thighs, thicker hair, less adult onset acne, no crow's feet, and taller stature, to name just a few.&nbsp; But what does God have to say about those things?&nbsp; He couldn't care less.&nbsp; Of course God wants us to look nice and be a good representative for Him and for our husbands and families.&nbsp; He wants us to maintain reasonably good physical health to make an effort to care for our bodies--the vessels He terms in His Word as, "<i>the temples of God</i>" (1 Cor. 6:19-20, 1 Cor. 3:17).&nbsp; However, I personally do not believe physical fitness should be at the top of our personal do list--God's Word tells us it is important, but not above spiritual fitness (1 Timothy 4:8).&nbsp; I do believe we cannot serve God fully or effectively if we are physically unhealthy or unfit.&nbsp; But what GOD cares <i>most</i> about is my continued efforts to work on the, "inner beauty realm"--my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.&nbsp; If I am honest, I have more important issues here.&nbsp; Personally, I need to work on self-control (namely with eating), patience (especially behind the wheel of my car), and peace--Fruits of the Spirit that do not come easily for me (Gal. 5:22).&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">I also want to be bolder for Christ this year, praying more fervently for better opportunities to share my faith with others.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span>I want my life to be more about God and less about me.&nbsp; Though I have made some significant improvements with fear and worry this past year (the aforementioned and much-needed fruit of, "peace"), I also still need to keep working on letting go of both and fully trusting God with everything<i>.&nbsp; </i>He wants me to stop fretting about the details in my life that only<i> He</i> can handle.&nbsp; He wants me to be less-concerned with pleasing people and how others view or treat me.&nbsp; He wants me to only concern myself with pleasing <i>Him </i>and handling just those things for which He has given me to manage.&nbsp; He is the only One Whom I should truly fear (Proverbs 31:30, "<i>Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting:&nbsp; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised</i>").</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Sometimes, the things on which we think we need to work aren't truly issues with God at all.&nbsp; In fact, I believe some things that people find unattractive in us are actually things that God put there in His design of us that we should embrace instead of disgrace.&nbsp; Over a year ago in my quest to find a working band, I sought some advice and counsel from someone well-respected in the music arena.&nbsp; In fact, this man once worked for Atlantic Records, and I met him through another music friend.&nbsp; He was very kind and encouraging to me, but he&nbsp;told me that if I wanted to be taken seriously in music, I needed to stop being so, "supplicant."&nbsp; I had no idea what he meant by this, so I asked him.&nbsp; He said, "<i>Stop acting like others are doing YOU some favor.&nbsp; Stop begging them to work with you.&nbsp; If they don't want to work with you, it's their loss</i>.&nbsp; <i>Move on.&nbsp; When it's right, it's right, and you don't have to suck-up to get valued.</i>"&nbsp; Then both my mother and a close girlfriend told me to stop self-deprecating all the time and apologizing for things for which I don't need to apologize. &nbsp;So I have tried to work on these, "supplicant" behaviors this past year.&nbsp;&nbsp; It's funny though--in praying about it further, I have felt the Lord saying over and over, "Just be <i>you.</i>&nbsp; Stop believing what others say and just be who <i><b>I</b></i> made you to be.&nbsp; Believe what <i><b>I SAY</b></i> is true about you."&nbsp; If you really want to know what God says about you, who you truly are, and who you were created to be, Google, "<i>Scriptures on, 'Who does God say I am?'"</i> and you will find out some amazing things about your own identity.&nbsp; Though I believe the area of being overly people-pleasing or, "butt-kissy," (let's just call it what it is), is an arena in which I needed some change, I do think being supplicant is sort of who I am.&nbsp; I also happen to believe it is a trait of which our world of unapologetic entitlements and ego complexes could use MORE not less.&nbsp; We are <i>all</i> called to live lives of humility and seek to get along with others in unity.&nbsp; Yes, balance is needed </span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">there, as with everything in life.&nbsp; A</span></span></span></span></span>s Christian author and renowned speaker, Beth Moore, has stated, thinking too much OR too little about oneself is self-absorption on two opposite ends of the spectrum.&nbsp; Either way you spin it, it's all about you.&nbsp; But thinking of others more highly than ourselves is what we are called to do in God's Word (Phil. 2:3).</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">So why did I share that story with you?&nbsp; Because some of the changes you would wish for yourself may need changing and some do not.&nbsp; Some may only need a little tweaking--or maybe a fresh perspective.&nbsp; There are things about you that others despise, that you may despise, or that others try to <i>get</i> you to despise about yourself--but perhaps God does not.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">Like Eve in the Garden with the original sin, it is the nature of who we are to be discontent at times (hopefully not all the time).&nbsp; God gave Eve plenty of other yummy stuff to eat, but she wanted the <i>one thing</i> for which He said, "<i>No</i>." </span></span></span></span></span>God gives us everything we really need, but we still think we need or deserve more.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span>Only with God's wisdom can you truly discern what things you should work to improve or change.&nbsp; God has been whispering to me to just be content in some areas of my life.&nbsp; Sometimes contentment is actually harder than changing.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">We live in such a critical, discontent world.&nbsp; We are overly critical of others and we are overly critical of ourselves.&nbsp; If you post too many blessings, joyful, or good things about your life on Facebook, someone will be offended that you are bragging, faking, or overcompensating for something else.&nbsp; If you post honest, transparent, real, or sad things, you are deemed negative, melodramatic, attention-seeking, and needy.&nbsp; If you post boring recipes or YouTube links, you are annoyingly filling-up feeds with senseless information, obsessed with the internet, and probably have no real life at all.&nbsp; In this world, you really can't win where others are concerned.&nbsp; Someone is going to have a problem with you.&nbsp; It would behoove us all to remember: &nbsp;God's Word says that many times the things that bug us about others we often do ourselves (Romans 2:1)--and if we don't do them ourselves, they often bring out other sin issues we DO have (jealousy, gossip, selfishness, pride, ridicule, unmerciful spirit, etc.). &nbsp;Due to our sin natures, we</span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"> are never going to be fully at peace with others or ourselves.&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span>But praise God, He is not as hard on us as our fellow man or as we are on ourselves.&nbsp; As the key verse at the top says, <i>God's great faithfulness </i>to us, in spite of our repeated failures, gives us immense <i>hope</i>.&nbsp; His <i>unfailing love</i> and His endless <i>mercies</i> give us the gumption to work to get things right in our lives--or at least try.&nbsp; So today I praise God for giving me another year and another chance to get it right.&nbsp; Will I succeed?&nbsp; Sadly, no.&nbsp; But I will die trying!&nbsp; None of us is perfect and we never will be.&nbsp; Thankfully God doesn't require or demand that--He only wants our honest effort at living for Him, and showing others the same faithfulness, mercy, and love that He has shown to us (Micah 6:8, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><i><span class="text Mic-6-8" id="en-NIV-22657">He has shown you, O man, what is good.</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks">&nbsp; </span><span class="text Mic-6-8">And what does the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> require of you?&nbsp; </span></span><span class="text Mic-6-8">To act justly and to love mercy</span></i><span class="indent-1"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks">&nbsp;</span></i><span class="text Mic-6-8"><i>and to walk humbly with your God</i>"</span></span>).&nbsp; That's really all God expects of us in this life, and I praise Him for it!&nbsp; I wish you all peace, joy, love, and only God's best.&nbsp; Happy and blessed New Year, family and friends!</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Lam-3-23"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;">&nbsp; </span></span></span></span></span></div>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-29871244993978689732013-12-20T10:51:00.003-06:002013-12-20T10:55:33.702-06:00Christmas Past, Present, & Future<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b></b>&nbsp;"<b><i>May the God of hope fill you with all</i><i>&nbsp;</i><i>joy and peace <u>in believing</u>, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.</i>"</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Romans 15:13 </b></div><div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;"></div><br /><br />The other night I enjoyed a nice evening out with my husband finishing-up our Christmas shopping and dining at one of our favorite spots in Lawrence, KS--the town we consider, "home."&nbsp; I have written many times of my love for Lawrence with all its quirkiness and unique appeal.&nbsp; It is a rarity to see a town of its size thriving with such a sublime dichotomy of old, hometown charm mixed with hipster art, music, diversity, and culture.&nbsp; It seems there is always something interesting happening in Lawrence and the other night was no exception.&nbsp; As we walked down Massachusetts Avenue, a pack of about 150 people were on what they call, "The Jingle Jog."&nbsp; This group was running up and down "Mass Street," as it is typically termed, while festively adorning all sorts of Christmas attire--from Santa hats to battery-powered Christmas lights and Rudolph noses.&nbsp; One guy was speed-walking and wearing one of those head-light hats.&nbsp; He was emphatically reading aloud from Dr. Seuss' famous Christmas work<i>, How the Grinch Stole Christmas</i>.&nbsp; Right as he breezed past me he read the line, "<i>Mr. Grinch, the words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink, stank, stunk!"&nbsp; </i>I died laughing.&nbsp; It was a good reminder that though I am a bit overwhelmed right now with the approach of Christmas and how behind I am with pretty much everything, I need to watch my attitude and remember the <i>real</i> reason for this season.<br /><br />I have since thought about some of the other beloved Christmas stories that I read as a kid.&nbsp; Charles Dickens' classic, <i>A Christmas Carol, </i>came to mind as I worked on my Christmas cards the other day and pondered Christmases past.&nbsp; In working to finally update my new address book, I shed a few tears of grief at the awful reminder of so many special people who have gone on to be with the Lord since my last updating.&nbsp; Even in just the last year, there have been several changes of lives lost, as well as, family members and friends who have moved, and those who have, "moved on," so to speak.&nbsp; As we all know, things change, people change, and we just lose touch with each other at times for various reasons.&nbsp; Life happens.<br /><br />I know I am not alone when I say that this time of year brings to mind all the memories of the past year and of prior Christmases, as well.&nbsp; Perhaps it's a natural tendency for us to reflect as one year closes and another begins--or maybe I'm just a sap!&nbsp; But many of us do find ourselves thinking of all the memories of Christmases past--good and bad.&nbsp; We also desire and work ourselves silly in hopes of giving our loved ones a wonderful Christmas-present (both the literal and figurative).&nbsp; I came across a poll the other day which found that American women spend approximately 86-hours preparing for Christmas during the month of December, and American men spend approximately 67-hours preparing (and I found myself wondering who those men are--sorry, guys)!&nbsp; But obviously, we all work very hard to prepare for this season and bless those we love in great and memorable ways.<br /><br /><i>Why</i> do we do this?&nbsp; To impress people with how Martha Stewart-like we are?&nbsp; To wow our family with our creative, gift-giving abilities?&nbsp; To over-compensate for our failings during the rest of the year?&nbsp; God forbid!&nbsp; Our motives to bless our loved ones, friends, and the less-fortunate should be wrapped-up in one person--the Person Who is the true reason for the season, and Whose name the season bears--<b><i>Jesus Christ</i></b>.&nbsp; Without Jesus, this holiday is pointless and meaningless.&nbsp; The commercialism, the chaos, the stress, and the pressures just aren't worth it without Him.&nbsp; But if we know Christ, and if we make Him the center of our focus for this holiday, suddenly it all makes sense--<i>we show love to others because HE first showed love to us.&nbsp;</i> When we place all our hope in Him, we can easily share joy, love, and blessings with others because we know a Savior Who was born just to die for us.&nbsp; Regardless of how our actual Christmas turns out, it's already a fantastic one with that free, priceless gift from above (2 Cor. 9:15)!&nbsp; I recall a friend (one who happens to sadly have, "moved on"), telling me that religious Christmas music was depressing because not everyone feels joyful at Christmas.&nbsp; My first thought was, <i>All the more reason to relish that music and cling to the Person for Whom it was written.</i><br /><br />As I thought about those whose names I did not rewrite into my newly updated address book, I took great comfort knowing that they are all in heaven celebrating a Christmastime unlike any we have ever had here.&nbsp; They have not had to wait in long lines buying things that won't be given a second thought in a month.&nbsp; They have not battled illness while attempting to cheerfully serve in ministry capacities. They have not felt loneliness, sadness, or exhaustion at a time when they should feel only joy and peace.&nbsp; They are WITH the Person for Whom CHRISTmas is celebrated.&nbsp; What a grand and perfectly glorious time they must be having!&nbsp; As I think about Christmas-future, I not only pray for many more blessed Christmases with those who remain in my life, but I look so forward to the day when I can celebrate with the actual Birthday Boy.&nbsp; I am convinced that Christmas-future is where it's at!&nbsp; God bless and Merry Christmas to you all!<br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-78565198318187042642013-12-05T14:28:00.002-06:002013-12-05T15:07:11.516-06:00Leading in Love<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i><span class="text Heb-13-17" id="en-NIV-30259">"Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you."</span></i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i><span class="text Heb-13-17" id="en-NIV-30259">Hebrews 13:17&nbsp;</span> </i></b></span></span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When we think of, "leadership," we typically think of people in management positions, levels of high-rank, or those in authority.&nbsp; But in reality, God has placed us all in leadership roles to some degree--even if we are only leading ourselves in our personal lives.&nbsp; In thinking about the above verse, I am reminded of the various leaders in my life--those who have mentored me, counseled me, guided me, shepherded me, and been in direct authority over me.&nbsp; I also think about those over whom <i>I</i> have led.&nbsp; At first glance, this verse can make you cringe at the words, "have confidence," and "submit," because if we are honest, we all have had leaders in the past, or even currently, for whom we have no ability or desire to do either.&nbsp; But after reading the entire verse, we quickly see that this verse is not just about being a good subordinate.&nbsp; It also tells the leader a couple of things:&nbsp; <i>to keep watch over their subordinates</i>, and <i>to be prepared to give an account for how they do that</i>.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Based on God's Word, Godly leadership first, carries a high responsibility for the well-being of others, and second, recognizes it is in direct submission <i>to </i>God (which is the underlying motive for the first).&nbsp; So what motivates leaders to truly care about the well-being of their subordinates and to truly fear God's authority over them?&nbsp; Love.&nbsp; Love of God and love of others.&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">This flies in the face of what most secular books on leadership will tell you. &nbsp; You can read a lot of books on leading and leadership, and they say a lot of the same things--being firm, fair, consistent, honest, reliable, confident, an effective delegator, a utililzer of talent, and so forth.&nbsp; Those are all crucial leadership traits.&nbsp; But I believe the one thing that makes a good leader a <i>great </i>leader, is leading in&nbsp;<i>love</i>.&nbsp; If God <i>IS</i> love, and love comes <i>from</i> God (1 John 4:7-8), there is no way to be a loving leader without being a Godly one.&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Being a Godly leader will many times mean personally taking the hard road so someone else can have the easy one.&nbsp; It may mean letting go of how you want something to be done so that the majority of others involved can be pleased.&nbsp; It will mean demoting yourself at times so others can be elevated.&nbsp; It will mean letting go of your fears and your desire to control things due to them, and just trusting God.&nbsp; It will mean letting go of what is, "fair," and letting God deal with injustices.&nbsp; It will mean looking at the bigger picture, and choosing unity and peacemaking over proving points, teaching lessons, &amp; winning (ugh...will that word ever carry the proper connotation after being taken captive by Charlie Sheen?)!&nbsp; Being a Godly, loving leader will demand having many, "get real" moments, as I call them--meaning, having honest evaluations with yourself in areas where you are giving yourself passes but holding others hostage to their infractions.&nbsp; It will require comparing yourself to Christ and not to others.&nbsp; It requires giving-up the temptation to play, "conviction-police," to those beneath you, proudly touting and twisting Scripture in true, God-complex form to subordinates who you believe need your expertise, opinion, and control.&nbsp; Instead, a Godly leader desires to spend more time tweaking and perfecting their own life, and praying fervently for those they lead.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We have all led and we have all been led.&nbsp; When you think about the leaders who have most effectively led you and shown you in turn, how to lead, what do they all have in common? A personal drive to claw their way to the top? Ambition, visions, and dreams so deep and wide a canyon is left in their absence? Confidence &amp; smooth talk? Flashy appeal and book smarts galore?&nbsp; Nope.&nbsp; They had a pure love for their service (and that is how they viewed it, it was not "work"), and they had even more love for you and others beneath them.&nbsp; They were trustworthy, immovable, and steady--which gave you security, peace, and made you trust them all the more. They had a humble peace about them--resolute in their decisions, but not with an attitude of showing, "who's boss."&nbsp;They possessed inner strength and joy in all circumstances, good and bad. They humbly listened more than they talked.&nbsp; They truly cared about what was going on in your life and sought to understand you.&nbsp; They were fair and honest--which earned them your deep respect.&nbsp; They were grateful for your service, and told you so.&nbsp; They humbly desired to glean wisdom from those beneath them in order to reap a better harvest.&nbsp; They were quick to admit mistakes or admit when they were wrong--and they said they were sorry.&nbsp; They were willing to change things that needed changing and could be changed.&nbsp; They helped develop you and lovingly pointed-out areas where you could improve.&nbsp; They were immovable in areas of black-and-white, and highly flexible in areas of grey.&nbsp; They entrusted you with stuff and showed you they believed in you.&nbsp; They never diminished those beneath them, gossiped, picked sides, jabbed, double-talked, belittled, played favorites, bent the rules for those favorites, or used passive-aggressive tactics as punishment--which by the way, are all quick ways to lose the respect and trust of subordinates and encourage criticism, anger, decreased job performance, and even rebellion.&nbsp; The truly effective, great leaders in your life worked to gain and maintain your trust and respect, realizing that both are earned.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">One of the most important leadership roles a person can be given, is that of parenting.&nbsp; I've blogged previously about this in a blog post entitled, "Few Parental Regrets."&nbsp; In this post, I share about how our only child, Allie, never rebelled against my husband and me, even with our very strict rules (which by the way, flew in the face of how others around us were parenting).&nbsp; I believe this is due to two things:&nbsp; she had no doubt of our immense love and value for her and her life, and she knew we were in direct submission to God.&nbsp; It sure wasn't because we were perfect parents or strict, wise authoritarians.&nbsp; When pure love is the source of the leadership, the subordinates trust and respect.&nbsp; They love in return.&nbsp; We would all follow a deeply loving, trustworthy leader just about anywhere--and we would do it with a wink and a smile.&nbsp; As Hebrews 13:17 states, we desire to make their job easy and joyful, in return.&nbsp; It is amazing how quickly points of contention and strife diminish when we believe we are being led in love and when we know we are valued, heard, and understood.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Perhaps you are reading this and thinking, "I don't have any position of leadership, so how does all this apply to me?" Or worse, "So what?"&nbsp; Well, friend, as I stated initially, you are in the least, in leadership over yourself and your life--and we will all answer to God about that, as well.&nbsp; And chances are, you will be given another leadership role at some point.&nbsp; In summary, I believe being a truly great leader means helping others reach their potential by humbly entrusting yours, and only yours, to God--and you can do neither without love.</span></span><br /><pre><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /> </span></span></pre><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-47871145997972312922013-11-21T15:44:00.001-06:002013-11-21T15:47:42.491-06:00In Joys AND Sorrows<div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;<span style="font-family: Georgia,&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Romans 12:15, "<span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261"><i>Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn</i>."</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261">As I write this blog today, I can't help but think about the silly journey I have been on for the past six months battling Plantar Fasciitis from a runner's injury early last May.&nbsp; Suffice it to say, it has not been a fun one.&nbsp; I recently had the privilege of enjoying some time with a dear friend who asked me at length about my feet and how my physical therapy is going.&nbsp; I could tell she was very concerned about my situation and truly cared that I am struggling greatly with pain-management and healing.&nbsp; It meant the world to me that she was more concerned about my issue than any of her own--and quite honestly, my issue is not that pressing in the scope of life.&nbsp; But I thought a great deal about this verse in Romans 12 that day, and I thanked God for this friend who has always been the kind of fellow sojourner in Christ to be genuinely happy for me in my successes and joys, and sincerely sorrowful and concerned when I am hurting.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261">We have all come across people in life like this--faithful friends who place more interest on us than themselves.&nbsp; They are the ones who after spending time with them, we almost feel guilty that we would receive such an undeserved blessing in another human being--someone who behaves as if we are more important than they are.&nbsp; We also feel remorse because <i>we</i> did most of the talking, as is typical in the relationship (these folks rarely want to speak at length about themselves).&nbsp; Likewise, we have probably all met people of the contrary, who seem to bask in our sorrows and mourn selfishly in our joys.&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261">These "friends," who disappear or hide when things are good, suffer from the all-too-typical-green-eyed-monster-syndrome, and they would rather play counselor than cheerleader where we are concerned.&nbsp; These are the friends who cannot muster up a genuinely kind word about good things in <i>our</i> life, but place great demand and expectation on us to bask at length in the glory of <i>theirs</i>. &nbsp;</span></span></span>Last and on the opposite end of that negative spectrum, there are people whom we could term, "fair-weather friends." They are the ones who only want to be around us when things <i>are good</i>.&nbsp; But once they aren't, they are no where to be found.&nbsp; They have no time or patience for anything less than fun and smiles.&nbsp; But we are called by God directly in His Word to be loyal, faithful friends in <i>every</i> circumstance, regardless of the current situations of others or ourselves.&nbsp; Not just when it feels good to us or is convenient for us.&nbsp; Not just when God is blessing us equally.&nbsp; Not just when things are in our favor.&nbsp; </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261">Though I have truly despised the past six months due to the pain, time, and expense of my injury, I know that the Good Lord has used this for my personal betterment.&nbsp; I know that my empathy for those who deal with constant pain has heightened immensely.&nbsp; My empathy for those who battle weight loss issues due to be unable to exercise has increased significantly (I am still wearing 6 of the 10 pounds I gained last winter, and here we are approaching the good ol' holidays again)!&nbsp; My awareness of how blessed I am to even be able to walk has risen greatly.&nbsp; </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Rom-12-15" id="en-NIV-28261">My appreciation for doctors and therapists and the genuine care and support they give, has gone through the roof.&nbsp; </span></span></span>I have come to realize that patience, peace, and self-control are the three Fruits of the Spirit upon which I need to work much harder.&nbsp; Before my injury, I was feeling pretty self-assured that I was working on all the fruits pretty consistently and effectively (funny how a hardship brings out the reality in us)!&nbsp; This injury has brought me to deeper prayer and forced me to rely more fully on God in order to do my work and my ministry.&nbsp; This is a humility all of us need, but to which none of us ever look forward.&nbsp; When you spend the first two hours every day holding onto counters and furniture just to endure pain as you work, you learn humility really quickly.&nbsp; When you lie awake at all hours of the night because your feet are throbbing, you learn to pray harder.&nbsp; As it turns out, feet are pretty important.&nbsp; I won't be taking them for granted again. &nbsp; </span></span></span></div><br /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So what does my stupid, petty feet-injury have to do with Romans 12?&nbsp; Well, for starters, I am hopeful that I have learned to have more mercy for my fellow believers who are struggling with things--namely health issues.&nbsp; It is easy to be quick to judge others who gripe and complain about their aches and pains until you have them yourself.&nbsp; I am grateful for those who have genuinely cared about me--in my joys and sorrows.&nbsp; I am humbled by friends who are suffering and warring right now with much bigger battles than I, and doing so while exhibiting all nine Fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23), unlike me.&nbsp; I am blessed that God has provided my needs during this time (physical therapy and orthotics aren't cheap) and allowed me to continue in my work and ministry in spite of my pain.&nbsp; I know my Lord is teaching me peace, patience, and self-control in this journey and He has my best interests at heart--even though there have been days where I am just really weary.&nbsp; He does not desire for me to view this as His wrath upon me (a clear epiphany given to me by Him one day after I threw myself before Him in anger and despair about my feet).&nbsp; Though this is a small but greatly annoying battle, I believe God is also preparing and teaching me things about aging.&nbsp; None of us are immune to that, and in the, "pride of life," I know deep down I was not really wanting to face the inevitability of it.&nbsp; We girls are told in all forms of media that we are supposed to be timeless, and that our lives and looks should show that in every sense of the word.&nbsp; During this second half of my life, I am going to have to learn to deal with health issues gracefully in God's strength--not my own.&nbsp; I am going to have to let go of vanity and the arrogance of youth and life--aging will remove both whether I choose to let them go or not.&nbsp; I've said it before and I'll say it again, "This ain't heaven, folks," and, "There are three things you can count on in life:&nbsp; death, taxes, and change."&nbsp; So though the wrinkle in the middle of my forehead is now deeper from furrowing my brow from pain all summer and fall, I am reminded of how it really doesn't matter.&nbsp; One day all pain, all struggles, and all wrinkles (can I get an, "<i>Amen</i>," up in here?), will be gone forever.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I pray that I can be the kind of friend who supports, encourages, and blesses in joys and sorrows--even when I am hurting or it is not reciprocated.&nbsp; I pray I can be the kind of believer who never criticizes or judges someone else's lot in life until I have walked a mile in their moccasins.&nbsp; Though I have to admit my fear and trepidation about it, I desire for God to continue to prune me to the point where <i>I just love people</i>.&nbsp; But I ask Him now:&nbsp; "<i>Father, please prune me thoroughly, but gently.&nbsp; Help me to be able to rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn--regardless of their situation, regardless of mine, and regardless of how they treat me in return. Amen."</i></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-41078422892627180842013-11-06T12:43:00.001-06:002013-11-07T10:15:28.753-06:00Broken and Blessed<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>Luke 9:16-17a</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>"<span class="text Luke-9-16" id="en-NIV-25318">Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, He gave thanks and <u><b>broke</b></u> them. Then He gave them to the disciples to distribute to the people.</span><span class="text Luke-9-17" id="en-NIV-25319">&nbsp; They all ate and were satisfied"...</span></i></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Nearly every day, I begin my morning quiet-time with a bowl of cereal and reading Rick Warren's, "Daily Hope," e-devotional before plunging into my Bible to read on my own.&nbsp; On October 14, 2013, I was reading Pastor Warren's post, "<i>God Breaks, Then He Multiplies</i>."&nbsp; That devotional has bugged me ever since.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">In it, Pastor Warren discusses how God has to <i>break</i> us before He can bless us and then multiply our gifts and service.&nbsp; I have thought a great deal about this, "breaking" part.&nbsp; Why does God have to <i>break</i> us before blessing and using us?&nbsp; What is the purpose of that?&nbsp; Then came the classic, pity-party, Stephanie-question:&nbsp; <i>Why is God so hard on us at times</i>?</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When we ponder Christ breaking that bread in order to bless and multiply it, we first see that the bread had to become smaller in order to grow bigger.&nbsp; At first glance, this may seem harsh--to tear the bread and rip it apart.&nbsp; But it couldn't be shared if it wasn't first broken.&nbsp; In the same way, God breaks us so we can be shared and multiplied.&nbsp; It is important to notice that even though the bread was torn, it was still bread and still served its purpose--and an even greater one at that.&nbsp; So when we are broken, we can likewise trust that God isn't going to break us beyond ourselves or to the point of uselessness.&nbsp; He actually wants the exact opposite.&nbsp; He is making us smaller or humbling us so that we can be shared and multiplied.&nbsp; He wants us to also recognize our great need for Him and for this greater purpose in our lives.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">It is also important to notice that before Christ actually broke that bread, He prayed over it first to thank God the Father for it and, "bless" it.&nbsp; If Jesus did this for a loaf of bread, how much more does He intercede on our behalf to the Father before God breaks us?&nbsp; I am guessing loads more.&nbsp; I imagine Christ saying of me, "<i>Father, thank You for this child.&nbsp; Thank You for what You are going to do in her life once You break her for the sharing and multiplying.&nbsp; I ask You to bless her and this process, Father.</i>"&nbsp; We can rest in knowing that we are much more valuable to God than mere bread.&nbsp; </span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">God's Word says that He loves humble servants and resists the proud.&nbsp; Part of this breaking process also involves us viewing ourselves as we should--as <i>sinners</i> who are helpless without His blessing and aid.&nbsp; When we are broken, we are also typically much more willing to submit to God--that is, we <i>should</i> be.&nbsp; There are times when we proudly rebel and fight the breaking-stage.&nbsp; No one likes to have their life torn apart on any level.&nbsp; But eventually, we must come to terms with our need for God's help, strength, wisdom, grace, and mercy in that which we are striving or struggling. Oftentimes, when we are strong and feeling overly confident, we seek to do things our own way instead of giving them over to God first.&nbsp; When we are broken, we are also much more focused on giving God the glory for any successes because we can easily recall that it was not our effort that brought them.&nbsp; We are better able to see God's hand in our lives when we are humble versus proud.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Over and over in Scripture we see examples of God using broken, humbled people--sinful people with big issues.&nbsp; God loves to take broken things and turn them into beautiful ones.&nbsp; Why?&nbsp; Because this is His character.&nbsp; It's the entire essence of Who He is.&nbsp; He is a fixer.&nbsp; We had a major problem in The Garden with the initial sin, and what did God do about it?&nbsp; He brought another fixer.&nbsp; He sent His own Son, Jesus Christ, to give us a solution to our problem.&nbsp; God loves to fix things for two main reasons:&nbsp; to show His glory and to show His <i>great love</i> for us.&nbsp; It may not feel like He is loving on you when He allows you to be broken.&nbsp; But we know that we cannot fully appreciate the good things God does in our lives if everything constantly goes our way.&nbsp; This isn't heaven and we have much to learn before reaching it.&nbsp; We all have character flaws which we don't even want to face or admit.&nbsp; But they need removal.&nbsp; This removal does not happen when we get everything we want.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Sometimes in our walk with God, we hear things many times and they are not new to us.&nbsp; But for some reason, we read them later and they strike us differently.&nbsp; In reading Rick Warren's devotional, I realized with fresh eyes that to serve others or be used by God on any level, we have to be willing to be <i>broken</i>.&nbsp; When you begin to put yourself out there for God and attempt to serve Him in ways that He is urging you, you have to prepare yourself for some pain.&nbsp; First, the enemy will be ticked-off, and he will begin to work on you and use people you never dreamed he would use to hurt you in order to stifle you in your service, ruin your attitude towards it, and discourage you from even doing it.&nbsp; Secondly, people you love may not support or understand what you do for God.&nbsp; But as we know, we are here to please God not people.&nbsp; Thirdly, not everyone will value your work.&nbsp; Again, if your identity and purpose are not in the Lord, you will falter in your mission and perspective.&nbsp; The ONE THING you must always tell yourself:&nbsp; <i>other's opinions of you are not your business.</i>&nbsp; It's their business.&nbsp; It's their issue.&nbsp; Your only responsibility is to God and what HE thinks of you.&nbsp; It is also important to mention that when you are in God's will or trying hard to find it, oftentimes you will reek of joy.&nbsp; Others, who are NOT in God's will in their own journeys (or who aren't even trying to be), may be turned-off by this.&nbsp; They are not at peace, but do not allow their discomfort and discontentment to begin to seep into your heart, poison your purpose, or plague your mission.&nbsp; Taylor Swift's song, "Ours," speaks to this: </span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>"And don't you worry your pretty little mind</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>People throw rocks at things that shine</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>But they can't take what's ours, they can't take what's ours, they can't take what's ours</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours."</i></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When we have been burned or hurt in the past, it feels easier to withhold our love and service to others.&nbsp; We may even say, "What is the point? It did me no good last time, God."&nbsp; Well, God is the point.&nbsp; When others don't reciprocate or fully appreciate your love and service, you can focus on two things:&nbsp; First, there is always someone else who needs your love and service, and who will value it.&nbsp; If you are spinning your wheels in your ministry or service to others, perhaps you need to find a less-muddy road.&nbsp; Secondly, God sees, values, and reciprocates your love and efforts--far above anything you ever give or do for Him.&nbsp; So regardless, we are here to give in God's name for His purposes.&nbsp; We are not here for ourselves, for reciprocation of our efforts, or to hoard our love and gifts.&nbsp; They cannot be blessed, used, and multiplied unless we are willing to be broken.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">For nearly seven years, I avoided putting myself out there in ways that I knew God could use me.&nbsp; One of these ways was in blogging and getting on Facebook.&nbsp; Now there are many reasons I despise Facebook and I stand by them all (i.e. people spending more time on it than in God's Word; people spending more time looking at it than having real conversations with those in their presence or current life; people using it to be passive-aggressive; people "meeting-up" with those whom they have no business reconnecting; etc.).&nbsp; But one honest reason for my lengthy refusal to succumb to the societal pressure of becoming a, "card-carrying member of the social media world," was that I did not want <i>anyone</i> to know <i>anything</i> about my life.&nbsp; I was afraid of being judged, ridiculed, and simply wanted to avoid experiencing any kind of painful snarkiness posed by others.&nbsp; I had heard enough horror stories from others about the negative things that can happen in this realm, and made-up my mind that I would NEVER set myself up for unneeded abuse (the world is harsh enough in real-time). But one thing God has been painfully pruning off of me is the need to be loved, accepted, and affirmed by others.&nbsp; As I've blogged about repeatedly, <i>fear</i> and <i>people-pleasing </i>have ruled my life for too long now.&nbsp; God has shown me that both have to go--for good.&nbsp; Even though I still truly dislike Facebook on many levels, I know that I cannot be effective for God if I refuse to use the current-day capacities at my disposal for Him and toward areas He is nudging me.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Two of my biggest spiritual gifts are encouragement and intercession.&nbsp; I was not effectively doing either by hiding from people or avoiding getting to know others better.&nbsp; I am also done being afraid to put myself out there and share my faith with others.&nbsp; If I can do that more effectively by exposing my creative joys, my stories, and my life, then so be it.&nbsp; We cannot be effective for God hiding in our house and keeping 95% of the world at arms-length.&nbsp; We cannot be a light for Christ, an encouragement to others, or get to know others well for the purpose of intercession if we avoid people and keep our life hidden.&nbsp; We have to be willing to be broken in order to be used by God.&nbsp; Have I experienced some brokenness by putting myself out there?&nbsp; You bet.&nbsp; Do I really care in the scope of God blessing and multiplying me?&nbsp; No way.&nbsp; It's all part of the process--the process of God's work <i>in</i> me and God's work <i>through</i> me.&nbsp; We can trust His intentions in both.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">There is risk involved in putting yourself out there to serve God and love others.&nbsp; God <i>will</i> challenge you when you agree to submit to Him.&nbsp; He will show you areas in your own heart that <i>need</i> challenging--and it is painful, at times.&nbsp; Serving <i>others</i> is an even bigger risk because people are not perfect.&nbsp; They are selfish and they are sinful--even Christians.&nbsp; If you get involved with people, you <i>will </i>be hurt--you can count on it.&nbsp; If you choose to do God's will, brace yourself--the enemy will be attacking you, as well.&nbsp; If you choose to love others above yourself--make sure you are operating off God's wellspring of love, not your own.&nbsp; Yours isn't renewable, and it will get sucked dry by others in a hurry.&nbsp; But God's love breaks you, and then it makes you.&nbsp; His love is enduring--it blesses, and it multiplies.&nbsp; Praise be to God.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><br /><div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br /><a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/ours-lyrics-taylor-swift.html#ixzz2jmtnO22U" style="color: #003399;"></a> </div>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-59378566885374874312013-10-25T11:41:00.001-05:002013-10-25T11:41:28.383-05:00Relish the Moments<div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span class="text Phil-4-8" id="en-KJV-29451">"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span class="text Phil-4-8" id="en-KJV-29451">Philippians 4:8&nbsp;</span></b></i> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As I've mentioned in prior blogs, I despise this time of year.&nbsp; In pondering why, I realize that one major reason for my lackluster attitude towards autumn is that my husband, Matt, begins a rigorous schedule of nightly meetings for work.&nbsp; Through the months of late October til mid-April, he is usually gone at least one night a week.&nbsp; My husband works about 55-hours a week not including these night meetings, his six to nine business trips per year, or the fair amount of work he does at home. I also calculated that I only see him about 52-hours a week (again, without the night meetings, the business trips, and the homework).&nbsp; Add to that the fact that I'm gone two to three nights a week for my music commitments--my worship team rehearsal at church, my other band's rehearsal, and perhaps a couple gigs for that band per month.&nbsp; So the time Matt and I have together is not at all balanced with our work.&nbsp; No wonder I hate fall and winter.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It is truly sad to realize how much of our lives we spend working and sleeping.&nbsp; We really don't have much time with those we love or to make an impact in their lives.&nbsp; It has been determined that we sleep one-third of our lives.&nbsp; If we are working more than half the time we are awake, there isn't much left--and we haven't even talked about household chores and errands, which are certainly work!&nbsp; Maybe it is because I am "in" my forties now, but I think about time a great deal.&nbsp; It is both sad and hilarious for me to realize that in my twenties and thirties, I fretted about <i>money</i>.&nbsp; Now, <i>time</i> is the bigger issue for me!&nbsp; I prayerfully try to make the best use of mine in order to have as much time as possible for enjoying those I love.&nbsp; But how can we make the most of the very little time we <i>do</i> have with others?&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When we are with those we love or anyone whom God has placed in our lives, we need to shut-off the rest of the world and just <i>enjoy</i> <i>them</i>.&nbsp; Being present in mind and spirit, and not just in body, is crucial if we're going to truly relish the moments we've been given with others.&nbsp; You cannot make an impact in any one's life if they are just a side-note to yours.&nbsp; On the flip-side, we also have to stop thinking we can be, "bosom buddies," with every single person that comes into our lives.&nbsp; There are seasonal friendships, phone-friendships, church-only friendships, work-only friendships, and even once-a-year friendships.&nbsp; This is good and fine--we can't be all things to all people, and if we try, we will fail at being anything to anyone.&nbsp; We have to be willing to adjust our minimal time with the changing demands in our lives.&nbsp; We also have to be willing to allow others the space to do the same. There is a hierarchy for prioritizing people in our life given directly in Scriptures--God comes first, your spouse is second, your kids are third, your parents are fourth, your church is fifth, and from there it gets pretty fuzzy.&nbsp; But if these five are not in-line or others are making demands that will require you to fudge on those five, stand firm.&nbsp; Your time is limited and your energy is even more limited.&nbsp; If you are trying to relish too many moments with too many people, you will end-up relishing no moments.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Whether I am with Matt, my band-mates, my church-mates, my family, my friends, my nail salon tech, my hairdresser, or whoever it may be--I think the verse above is key.&nbsp; When we are with others we need to always focus on <i>them</i> and the <i>good stuff.</i>&nbsp; We need to always be honest.&nbsp; We need to share loveliness.&nbsp; We need to speak fairly, do justly, and give good report.&nbsp; We need to appreciate both who they are and who God has made them to be.&nbsp; We need to truly listen and yet be willing to share.&nbsp; We need to just have fun and laugh--a lot.&nbsp; We need to recall the past and reflect on the funny and great times we have shared with them.&nbsp; We need to give value and share joy for the great things happening in their life now.&nbsp; We need to look back at where we have been with them and what God has done in their life and ours.&nbsp; We need to care about them and their stuff more than we do ourselves and our own stuff.&nbsp; We need to realize it isn't an accident that they are in our life at this time.&nbsp; We need to just bask in the gift of life with these people we love and with whom we share our very limited time.&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I don't want to be on my deathbed one day regretting that I worked too much.&nbsp; I also don't want to get to the end of my life and regret that I worried and focused on the negative things too much, or on <i>too many</i> <i>things</i>, instead of relishing pure and beautiful moments with those I love.&nbsp; We need to stop expecting others to fill voids and meet expectations only God can fill and meet--and we need to stop trying to do that for others.&nbsp; God didn't give us people so we could get stuff from them or control them.&nbsp; He gave us each other to teach <i>us</i> how to love.&nbsp; The time we have in life is unknown, valuable, and a gift of enjoyment from God Himself.&nbsp; The people God has placed within that allotted time, who have remained through thick and thin, are also valuable and rare gifts meant for relishing.&nbsp; <i>Time</i> and <i>special people</i>--I praise God today for both.&nbsp; </div>Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-80313431045697636452013-10-02T08:54:00.000-05:002013-10-04T10:31:44.281-05:00The Exception to the Rule<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]--> <i>Change</i>...it is one of the great rules of life. It is a norm upon which you can count.&nbsp; A great many songs and commentaries have been written about change.&nbsp; We have all heard the old, clichéd quotes: <i>"Nothing stays the same," </i>and, <i>"The more things change, the more they stay the same.</i>"&nbsp; Regardless of which you believe to be truer, change is a topic to which we can all relate.&nbsp; No one is immune to the changing seasons of life or exempt from the changes those seasons bring.&nbsp; I happen to believe there are actually <i>three </i>things you can count on in life:&nbsp; death, taxes, and <i>change</i>.<br /><br />You could discuss change with a wide-variety of people and get a wide-range of responses.&nbsp; Some folks thrive on change, feeling a renewed sense of purpose and refreshment to their spirit when it occurs.&nbsp; They view it as an opportunity for growth and a chance to solve new problems in pliable and exciting ways.&nbsp; Others dread it like a common cold.&nbsp; They have more of the, "if-it-isn't-broken-why-are-we-changing-it," mentality.&nbsp; To these people, change typically brings initial, overwhelming feelings of uncertainty and perhaps even fear.&nbsp; God has definitely wired us all uniquely and given us individual strengths and weaknesses.&nbsp; Furthermore, life has more than likely taught these two different groups of people very different things where change is concerned.&nbsp; This demands understanding by each group and a recognition that some of us are better suited for change than others, just as some of us are better equipped to bounce a basketball than manage a checkbook.<br /><br />I would fall in the latter group of people and change (I can also manage a checkbook a lot better than play basketball, so I guess I fall in the latter of both above comparisons).&nbsp; To me, change is typically a nuisance and an interruption.&nbsp; It feels like I just get used to the way things are in life and I have to start all over again.&nbsp; Depending on the specific type of change, it can feel that adjusting to it is a colossal waste of energy and time.&nbsp; Now I am not talking about trying a new food, vacationing to a new destination, or rearranging the furniture in your living room.&nbsp; Those are simple and fun changes that most of us <i>do</i>enjoy.&nbsp; I am talking about the kinds of change that require major adjustment, deep thought, or new problem-solving tactics.&nbsp; During those seasons, it can be difficult to let go of the familiar and add unfamiliar things that the new change requires.&nbsp; When you are a person who tends to cling to people and things a bit too tightly, there can be some grief involved.&nbsp; There is always loss felt when something common or comfortable in life is now missing.<br /><br />So how does a non-change person survive the constant changes life demands?&nbsp; For starters, we must look to the steadfast, unwavering love, grace, and mercy of God our Father.&nbsp; God's Word tells us plainly that <i>He never changes</i>--He is timeless.&nbsp; In James 1:17, we read, "<span id="en-NIV-30284"><span class="textjas-1-17">Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who <i>does not change</i> like shifting shadows."&nbsp; We can also stand firm on the lasting Word of the Lord.&nbsp; In Isaiah 40:8, we read, "</span></span><span id="en-NIV-18429"><span class="textisa-40-8">The grass withers and the flowers fall,</span></span><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="textisa-40-8">but the Word of our God <i>endures forever.</i>”&nbsp; Because God's Word is sound, ageless, and true, we can always look to it for wisdom and guidance in times of change.&nbsp; We may face broken promises and fickle, dishonest manipulations by others, but God always keeps His promises and He loves us eternally.&nbsp; In Deuteronomy 7:9, we read, "</span>Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, <i>keeping His covenant</i> <i>of love</i> to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commandments.<span class="p">"&nbsp; Furthermore, we can trust in the unchanging love of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who like His Father, "</span><span id="en-NIV-30250"><span class="textheb-13-8">...is <i>the same</i> yesterday and today and forever," (Hebrews 13:8).</span></span><br /><br /><span id="en-NIV-30250"><span class="textheb-13-8">Perhaps you read these verses and think, "Yeah...well, things are different today, so how does this apply to me?" Well, friend, God's Word says that, "</span></span><span id="en-NIV-17325"><span class="texteccl-1-9">What has been will be again,</span></span><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="texteccl-1-9">what has been done will be done again;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="texteccl-1-9"><i>there is nothing new under the sun</i>, " (Ecclesiastes 1:9).&nbsp; God's unchanging love and eternal Word are as applicable and reliable today as they were in the very beginning.&nbsp; The problems and challenges people faced thousands of years ago may have looked differently on the surface than ours do today--but they are essentially the same.&nbsp; God's Son, Jesus Christ, is the One immovable presence in our lives Who we can count on for everything and Who we can trust to always be there.&nbsp; Change in people and life are the rule--but God is the great exception.&nbsp; Amen.</span> <br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]><style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style><![endif]-->Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-3557783480300756682013-09-10T11:24:00.000-05:002013-09-10T11:24:02.916-05:00Facing My Biggest Fear--Part 3/3!Okay, friend.&nbsp; You've made it through to the final blog post on this story!&nbsp; God bless you for hangin' tough with me.&nbsp; I pray for each of you to be blessed in some special way by this story (or in the least, for taking the time to read it).&nbsp; Part of the reason I wanted to write about this is because I sadly don't have the time, energy, or vocal stamina to share the entire tale with every family member and friend who has asked me about it (or with whom I desire to share it).&nbsp; Writing about it simplifies that problem.&nbsp; My son in-law, Kale, who is working on his Doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy at the Univ. of IL, also encouraged me to blog about it for a variety of reasons.&nbsp; But more than all that, I pray that the effort I have expended doing so serves some higher purpose:&nbsp; that you, too, will be prompted to live fearlessly and face areas in your <i>own</i> life where you are letting fear trump what you <i>know</i> you really <i>want</i> or <i>need</i> to do.&nbsp; If we say we believe in Christ, if we have come to know Him as our personal Savior, Father, and Friend, if we are new in Him, if He rules our lives, if we trust in His promises, if His strength can be ours, and if we believe everything God's Word says about His character, there is just no place for fear of any kind in our lives--period.&nbsp; <br /><br />We ended Part Two with the conversation I had with my uncle's wife on the phone on Labor Day of 2012.&nbsp; Allie and I both felt so much relief that we had made a family contact who would now be in charge of handling the awkwardness of letting my father know I was looking for him.&nbsp; As I mentioned, my aunt had told me that her husband (my father's half-brother) and my father are somewhat estranged. She also said that in a couple of days, she was about to embark on a two-month excursion with her sister for a traveling jewelry business doing shows and fall craft festivals around the country.&nbsp; So she warned me that it might take her several weeks to get in touch with my father and handle all this for me.&nbsp; I wasn't sure why she couldn't just call him that night, but assumed it had to do with the fact that my father and uncle were estranged (might have been an awkward call for that reason alone).&nbsp; I was just so happy that someone else was going to deliver the initial blow, I let that go and trusted God with it all.&nbsp; Since the ball was no longer in our court, so to speak, Allie and I felt a great amount of freedom. We knew at this point, all we could do was pray and wait.&nbsp; So that's what we did.<br /><br />Then it happened.&nbsp; Exactly seven weeks later, on Monday, Oct. 22, 2012, my father called me.&nbsp; I was lying in bed at around 7AM at the time, awake and trying to muster-up the motivation to get up and get rolling.&nbsp; Matt had just left for work, and I was mentally organizing and planning my typical Monday morning do-list as I laid there (and probably dreading that it was Monday)!&nbsp; Then the phone rang, which was a bit of a surprise--we rarely get calls at 7AM (thank God--I am not a morning gal and you don't even want to talk to me before 8AM).&nbsp; But <i>this </i>was a call I was delighted to receive.&nbsp; As is typical, Matt and I had been gone a lot off and on that weekend, and had seen the same number on caller ID a few times upon returning home.&nbsp; But no message was ever left.&nbsp; We had suspected it might be my dad trying to call because though it didn't show a name for the number, it listed the town from which it was coming, and I <i>knew</i> it had to be him (my aunt had told me where he lived).&nbsp; So when the phone rang that Monday morning and the number reappeared, I jumped up and answered with excitement and hope.&nbsp; In my best, no, I-didn't-just-wake-up-voice, I said, "<i>Hell-ooo</i>?" and the caller said, "<i>Stephanie?&nbsp; It's your dad</i>, [<i>insert his name here</i>]."&nbsp; I let out a soft shriek and replied with something like, "<i>Oh, my goodness!&nbsp; Thank you so much for calling me</i>!"&nbsp; Amazingly, all fear was gone--not one trace existed in me.&nbsp; We talked and talked for several hours--so long I don't really recall how long!&nbsp; Time was pretty much a blur that entire day.&nbsp; In the scope of the moment, the clock just didn't matter.&nbsp; I don't think I've <i>ever</i> been able to go without using the restroom for that many hours in my life--especially having not gone even upon awakening (sorry...I know...too much info).&nbsp; We cried, laughed, filled each other in on the pertinent, current details of our lives, talked about God, talked about the past, and even hashed-out a lot of the hard stuff.&nbsp; Most importantly, I got to tell my father how very sorry I was for telling him to, "<i>go away and leave us alone,</i>" when he called in an effort to see me at age 10.&nbsp; My father's response to this was pretty incredible--he claimed he had never heard me say that.&nbsp; So I had needlessly tortured myself for 32 years...and to think...he didn't even recall it.&nbsp; Now I'm no dummy--he may have just <i>said</i> that to ease my pain.&nbsp; As a dad, there's a good chance he just "played dumb" so I would not guilt myself anymore for something I had said as a child.&nbsp; But regardless, it felt so good to apologize and hear him say that I had not hurt him by those words.<br /><br />I love that my father called me on a Monday morning.&nbsp; I was born on a Monday morning, and it seemed fitting.&nbsp; He shared some great stories of his life with me, some funny tales, and some hard ones.&nbsp; He asked me to share all mine.&nbsp; I hung on his every word, taking notes fiercely so as not to ever forget one word.&nbsp; I wanted to be able to not only recall and share all the details and stories later with my daughter, Allie, but also to have them for my grandchildren one day.&nbsp; I don't know when I got out of bed that day, but it was probably a new record for me, other than when I am ill!&nbsp; The one thing that kept resonating with me throughout our awesome conversation was my friend, JB's words to me from that previous March: &nbsp; "<i>I just think people change. I think your dad is a sixty-something-year-old-man, and I doubt he's the same person he was 42 years ago.</i>"&nbsp; Since I hadn't been given the best information regarding my father while growing up, I feared him.&nbsp; But JB was right--my father was<i> nothing</i> like I had feared.&nbsp; He was tender, caring, compassionate, funny, sweet, a great listener, and quite a gifted story-teller.&nbsp; I loved him right away.<br /><br />One of the coolest things I came to learn that day was that I am one-eighth Cherokee Indian.&nbsp; My dad's grandmother, on his mother's side of the family, was a full-blooded Cherokee. This was an intriguing factoid for me because I have always loved Native American art, jewelry, and history.&nbsp; It was also pretty funny to find this out because I've had people tell me my entire life that I look like a Native American-mix.&nbsp; Go figure.&nbsp; I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Native Americans and what our government did to their way of life.&nbsp; Finding out that I have a decent amount of that blood running through me, made me distinctly proud.&nbsp; It was an unexpected blessing to glean such knowledge of my own roots and history.<br /><br />I found it utterly healing to gain a better understanding of <i>a lot</i> of things which I had never known.&nbsp; I knew my father was Mexican, but I didn't know much else about his family history.&nbsp; I learned that my dad's grandparents, on his father's side, were full-blooded Mexican and originally from Guadalajara, Mexico--so our family has only been in America for four generations, which amazed me.&nbsp; My father shared the details of his growing-up years and the hardships he faced.&nbsp; Being Hispanic <i>and</i> Native American in a white, Midwest town, and knowing little to no English to boot, did not make for an easy childhood.&nbsp; Some of his stories were very hard to hear and broke my heart.&nbsp; Upon sharing with my father that I had been an elementary teacher for many years, he shared a precious story about one of his elementary teachers.&nbsp; This particular teacher was the first one who had ever truly cared about him and treated him like he was as good as, "the white kids."&nbsp; She was the first and only teacher who really took the time to teach him English and try to help him make it in school.&nbsp; She took him home with her to tutor him personally and make sure he got a good after-school snack.&nbsp; She went the extra mile for my father.&nbsp; But she was the only one.&nbsp; As a former educator, I was appalled at the level of mismanaged, educational deprivation he suffered at the hands of people who should have known better--and who were perhaps racially, "unmotivated."&nbsp; Though this was prior to specialized, ESL classes in our country's education system, there should have been no excuse for passing my father to repeated grade levels without helping him learn the language and learn to read and write.&nbsp; (Sorry...the teacher in me needed to rant about that for a bit).&nbsp; I felt an immense amount of understanding and compassion for my father and his personal history and struggles.&nbsp; It was insight I needed--and I wasn't even aware of that need.<br /><br />As I had expected, the past events and issues of my father and mother surfaced in some of our discussions.&nbsp; I had been counseled by a couple of wise friends and my therapist son in-law to be careful not to focus on the past and what has been done when talking with my father.&nbsp; As the wise old sayings go, "<i>Past is past</i>," and, "<i>It's water under the bridge</i>."&nbsp; So when these tough discussions would occur, I would try to remember to focus on the rules of, "<i>not playing the blame game</i>," and just avoiding the slippery slope of pitting one parent against the other. What would the point of that be anyway?&nbsp; Nothing can ever change what has been done.&nbsp; Some questions and things that have arisen have just had to be discussed, forgiven, buried, and left behind for good.&nbsp; Both my father and my mother made mistakes, and both have certainly paid.&nbsp; So from my viewpoint, I praise God that I do not harbor any anger or bitter feelings for either of my parents for any of those mistakes.&nbsp; My parents were young and they did what they felt they had to do at that point in their lives.&nbsp; Being able to honestly say all of that is a <i>huge</i> God-thing.&nbsp; In our human strength, we cannot easily overlook the errors others make that vastly affect our own lives.&nbsp; But with God-designed, love-tinted glasses, we can not only overlook them, but also feel empathy, understanding, and utter love for those who have made them.&nbsp; We all make them. <br /><br />The following Saturday, Oct. 27, 2012, Allie and I got to meet my father (her grandfather), who she now lovingly calls, "Abuelito" (or, "Lito" for short, at times).&nbsp; This was just five days after speaking with him for the first time, so things happened pretty quickly after that initial phone call from him.&nbsp; We made plans for the four of us (Allie, Kale, Matt, and I) to meet him and his sweet girlfriend for brunch at a town halfway between his home and ours. We chose a neutral locale so as to make it easier on everyone.&nbsp; [Side note:&nbsp; What a blessing that he doesn't live very far from us--it has made it much easier to develop a relationship with him than if he had been at a distance.&nbsp; God was so good to provide for us in that way. My father is 45-minutes from me!] When we arrived at the restaurant, we parked right next to my father and I knew it immediately.&nbsp; His girlfriend got out of his truck first and came to hug me.&nbsp; Then my father came to hug me.&nbsp; Amazingly enough, he was more emotional than I was (it was <i>so</i> unlike me to be that, "together")!&nbsp; I know God gave me the strength to be strong for my father (and <i>he</i> has since been strong for me when I have needed it)!&nbsp; But he was just precious and so sweet.&nbsp; I felt an immediate connection to him and felt safe with him right away (I suppose our lengthy phone conversations that week had provided a fair amount of bonding already)!&nbsp; When we got inside the restaurant, the fire alarm was going off, and a flurry of activity was happening inside.&nbsp; The manager told us it was a false alarm, but then firemen began arriving.&nbsp; The alarm was so stinking loud we couldn't hear ourselves think, let alone try to talk.&nbsp; I could tell all the chaos was making my father very nervous, so I reached over and held his hand as we stood in the entryway of the restaurant waiting for the ruckus to die down. We held hands until they seated us.&nbsp; I love the funny, contradictory memory of that horrifying, obnoxious fire alarm blazing and shrieking...and me, standing there in total peace, holding my daddy's hand for the first time and glowing like a content little girl.&nbsp; Hilarious and totally unforgettable.<br /><br />Once the stupid alarm stopped, the firemen left, and they seated us, we had a lovely first meal together.&nbsp; We visited, laughed, and just enjoyed time together over great food.&nbsp; My dad's brother (my uncle) even dropped by to meet us.&nbsp; He was as funny, congenial, and welcoming as my father.&nbsp; He is a part-time professional musician, too, and plays in a couple of bands.&nbsp; So it was fun to bounce things off of him and "talk shop," musically-speaking.&nbsp; I still marvel at how cool I was throughout the entire morning--I never really felt nervous.&nbsp; God amazes me.<br /><br />After that first meeting, we saw my father several times within a pretty short period of time.&nbsp; It was so fun to enjoy visiting in person and just get to know one another better and get more comfortable with each other.&nbsp; We dined at a lot of Mexican restaurants (and still do--his favorite and mine alike)!&nbsp; I love hearing my father speak Spanish with the waiters!&nbsp; I even got to meet my half-brother and his wife on one occasion, which was a wonderful thing, as well.&nbsp; My brother is also musical, which is a fun commonality.&nbsp; I have also connected with a couple of cousins who I look forward to knowing better, too.&nbsp; As I said in Part Two, there aren't many of us left.&nbsp; But I am happy that I have my father and that he loves me.&nbsp; That's all I really needed.<br /><br />The first 3 months of our relationship, we were literally on the phone talking for 1-3 hours nearly every day, trying to attempt to catch up from 42 years of life (which can't be done, but you sure try)!&nbsp; It was awesome and exhausting at the same time.&nbsp; Some days, it was pretty emotionally draining to process and work through such a variety of details and things.&nbsp; Every few days, I would pull out my notes, call Allie, and fill her in on all that he had shared with me.&nbsp; All that phone-talking coupled with all the singing I do was pretty hard on my voice.&nbsp; So that is about all I had time and energy to do most days.&nbsp; I loved every minute of it though.&nbsp; Sadly but necessarily, I ignored my extended family and friends to a degree during this time.&nbsp; So I want to say, <i>thank you,</i> for understanding that I needed the time and space to do this with my father.&nbsp; Allie and I <i>both</i> needed time together to talk and think, as well.&nbsp; At times, we still do actually.&nbsp; So to those of you who have felt ignored but have stood by me all the same--<i>thanks so much</i>.&nbsp; To those of you who have shown care, concern, interest, and support--<i>thanks a million. </i>You are loving, true friends and a loving family--and I love you all.<br /><br />In those later talks with my father, I began to be more impressed by the power of genetics.&nbsp; Though I think I am a pretty good mix of both my parents, there have been things I have heard or seen in my father that are certainly present in me.&nbsp; I have his skin tone most definitely--my mother is much fairer than I.&nbsp; I have some of his other facial features.&nbsp; But more than the superficial, there are things like how he is a bit of a neat-freak (okay, I am a borderline OCD-germaphobe, at times), and how keen his sense of smell is, that ring true for me, as well.&nbsp; My father <i>loves</i> to wear cologne all the time, and I am the same way (and I <i>love </i>how my father smells)! &nbsp; My father has some similar expressions and his voice lilts in ways that mine does--he has even noticed this.&nbsp; When I call him, I always say, "hEY, Dad!" (with a slide tone) and apparently, that's exactly how my other half-brother (the one I haven't met) says it. &nbsp; I have my father's temper (though my mother is no passive person--sorry, Mom).&nbsp; My father has soft, artsy hands, and I have always remarked to my daughter, Allie, that her hands are so expressive and artistic-looking.&nbsp; She is a piano player and my father is a guitarist, and both have those artsy-looking hands--go figure.&nbsp; My father is a worry-wart (now I know where I get it)!&nbsp; My father hates winter, cold, and snow, and struggles a bit with seasonal affective disorder (undiagnosed)--as do I.&nbsp; He dreams of moving south for this reason, just like me.&nbsp; My father loves fishing and water--I am a water-fiend.&nbsp; My dad is an avid and talented card-player.&nbsp; He even played so well he made money playing in tournaments for a while.&nbsp; I love to play cards, too (though not on a "professional" level).&nbsp; I love that his birthday is Cinco de Mayo--so perfect for my Latino Papa, and so fun that it is the day after mine.&nbsp; We actually celebrated our birthdays together this year for the first time--just the two of us (and of course, Mexican food was involved).&nbsp; That was very special to me.<br /><br />My favorite similarity is that my father is also a musician--I know I get this from him since my mother has no musical bone in her body (her words, not mine).&nbsp; Furthermore, my father's favorite type of music is R&amp;B--just like mine.&nbsp; My mother believes that since she went to listen to him play in his R&amp;B band while pregnant with me, that this is what influenced my taste. Could be...or it could be that genetic-predisposition-thing again.&nbsp; It has been so fun to talk about music with my father.&nbsp; He has been a great source of advice, encouragement, and support this past year as I have worked hard trying to do this music-thing. Mostly, it's been an enormous blessing to have someone in my court who understands how hard the music arena is, and how fickle and undependable a lot of the people in that arena are.&nbsp; I have loved hearing all my dad's stories about his music days and playing in bands when he was just sixteen-years-old.&nbsp; He played some pretty big gigs in Topeka and Kansas City even as a teenage boy.&nbsp; Being a former professional musician, former professional card player (he wouldn't call himself that, but that's what he was), a railroad engineer, and then a professional race car and automobile restorer, my father has had an interesting and full life. He has skills upon skills for a kid who struggled horribly through school, and he is as humble as they come.&nbsp; I love his stories and feel like a little girl giggling at his humorous tales and all the fun, detailed accounts of his life.&nbsp; He is one of the most interesting and bravest people I have ever met.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br />The most unexpected blessing of all is that my father has healed places in me that I didn't even know were hurting, just by his precious words to me.&nbsp; It felt divinely wonderful to hear my father say for the first time, "<i>I am proud of you and the life you have made for yourself.&nbsp; You and Matt have done so well," </i>and, "<i>You're beautiful!!! You hear me</i>?!" I also simply adore that he tells me, <i>he loves me,</i> nearly every time we speak, and always closes out our conversations with a very cheerful and sincere, "<i>Okay, baby!&nbsp; I'll be calling you</i>!"&nbsp; Knowing that my father wanted me, wanted to see me, and having proof that he tried to do so many times has blessed me in ways that I didn't know I needed blessed.&nbsp; It is amazing the things we "stuff" and repress.&nbsp; Talking about God often and even praying with my father over the phone, have been other immense blessings.&nbsp; Hearing his words of worry about me when he knows I will be on the road alone late at night, and just feeling his love and care feels really good.&nbsp; Hearing him speak so proudly of my only child and daughter, Allie, has also been such a great thing--for Allie and I both. Hearing him say that I am his only daughter and he is so glad that he has one now--well, I can barely type <i>that </i>without welling-up in tears.&nbsp; I love that my father is a no-bull type of person.&nbsp; He says what he means and he means what he says.&nbsp; The conversations we have had have been <i>real</i>.&nbsp; If you know me at all, you know that I am not a big fan of people who put on false heirs or seek to impress.&nbsp; I like to share about my life and talk openly with people--sometimes this scares people off or they view it as negative or too forward in some way.&nbsp; But I like <i>real</i> people,<i> real</i> honesty, and <i>real</i> conversations--and my father is<i> </i>as <i>real </i>they get.&nbsp; He is a genuine guy with a big heart.&nbsp; He is easy to talk to and he cares about what you are saying.&nbsp; He cares deeply for his family, for his kids, for his grand-kids, and for his friends. My friend, JB, likened my father not knowing Allie and me, to missing out on the lottery.&nbsp; As I write all of these things about my dad, I realize that I am the one who struck gold.<br /><br />The daily hour-long conversations began to become weekly conversations sometime after the New Year, in 2013.&nbsp; Now they are still nearly weekly, but aren't always an hour in length.&nbsp; As great as those long talks were, my father and I have found a comfortable groove in which we are no longer striving and straining to make up for lost time.&nbsp; My father no longer fears that he will lose me again (his words, not mine).&nbsp; Though I believe those long talks were so fabulous and so healing for us both, I know that neither one of us had the time or energy to keep up with that pace.&nbsp; But I praise God that we have grown to feel secure in our relationship to just ease into a place where we talk when we can and for however long we can, and see each other when we can.&nbsp; We don't feel pressure to fix the things that aren't perfect or that aren't fixable.&nbsp; We are just a father and a daughter walking forward together in love and joy, <i>writing one chapter at a time</i>--as my dad's girlfriend stated it best.&nbsp;<br /><br />Let me be clear--not every "dream" I had about finding my family has come true.&nbsp; As with any personal upheaval, there have been some hard and sad things to know, face, and accept.&nbsp; One sad thing I have yet to mention is that my half-brother (the one I got to meet) was a twin--and his twin brother was killed in a car wreck when they were very young.&nbsp; So there have been many hardships and challenges in the family.&nbsp; My father has suffered a great many trials in life.&nbsp; The story isn't, "perfect," and I am not trying to make it sound as such.&nbsp; But honestly, it has been only a good thing and only good has come from finding my dad--just as God reassured me would be the case from the start.&nbsp; You can only move forward and write a new history in life when you choose to reconcile a broken relationship.&nbsp; You can't change or fix the past.&nbsp; Only God can really do that, and I praise Him for giving me the strength and courage to rewrite this story with my father.&nbsp; God is a God of reconciliation--He <i>loves</i> it.&nbsp; He came here Himself to die for our sins to give us a chance to reconcile <i>with Him.</i>&nbsp; He blesses those who attempt to reconcile and He delights in it.<br /><br />I shared in Part Two of how I began praying for my mother while I was praying for my father--that she would take the news of my seeking and finding him well, and not let fear begin to rule her or cause her to doubt my love and loyalty to her.&nbsp; I told my mother after the New Year in 2013 once things settled down from the holidays.&nbsp; There never seemed to be a good time before that, and I didn't want to ruin my mother's November birthday or the holiday season should she not take the news well.&nbsp; I also think I just needed to focus on my dad at the beginning (facing another major thing would have been serious over-load for me).&nbsp; When I called my parents (my mom and adopted dad--I will share that precious story another day) this past January 7, 2013 (another Monday morning), they took it quite well.&nbsp; I, of course, had been given wise counsel again from my son in-law and a couple of close friends on what to say to them--and we had all prayed and prayed.&nbsp; My mom expressed her concerns as I knew she would, but it went way better than I had expected.&nbsp; So God answered yet another huge prayer for me.&nbsp; My mom and I rarely speak of my father, just as we rarely ever did--and I think that is for the best.<br /><br />Toward the end of one of my favorite movies, "Oceans 12," Catherine Zeta-Jones' character, "Isabel," meets her father for the first time as a grown woman.&nbsp; My husband and I personally own all of the "Oceans" movies, and have watched this one numerous times (my hubby is a big Catherine Zeta fan...go figure).&nbsp; In this scene, "Isabel" approaches her father upon realizing who he is, and says, "Where the hell have <i>you</i> been?" To which he replies, "<i>Waiting</i>..." And she says, "<i>For what</i>?"&nbsp; And he says, "<i>For this</i>," and they fall into a tearful embrace.&nbsp; This scene has haunted and disturbed me my entire life, and my darling husband knows it.&nbsp; He always looks over at me in my attempted, hidden discomfort and softly says, "<i>Honey, are you okay</i>?"&nbsp; As many times as I've seen this scene, I never truly would have thought it would become part of my own reality, though I longed for it to be.&nbsp; I think deep down I never really thought I'd ever have the guts to go find my father.&nbsp; It still shocks me sometimes.&nbsp; Pretty much every time I hang up the phone after hearing him say, "<i>Love you, baby</i>!"&nbsp; I am astounded that I did it.&nbsp; But that's just it--<i>I didn't</i> do it<i>.&nbsp; GOD</i> gave me the courage to do it, and my daughter and my friend, JB, gave me the major nudges I needed.&nbsp; Much like the scene from the movie,<i> my</i> father says he has been <i>waiting </i>for me to come find him since I was 18-years old.&nbsp; He thought I would surely do so once out on my own with a mind of my own.&nbsp; He did not feel that he should try to come for me again because he had done so numerous times and been shut-out. After all this time had passed, he assumed I had been brainwashed to think only the very worst about him.&nbsp; I know I disappointed him taking this long to come find him, but he knows me now and how timid I can be.&nbsp; Better late than never, I guess--I do wish I had mustered up the gumption earlier.&nbsp; But I love that this movie scene will no longer haunt me--it is mine now.<br /><br />When I think about it, it is so hilarious and special that this once fatherless child now has THREE <i>awesome</i> fathers:&nbsp; First and foremost, God my Father, and now my two earthly fathers--both of whom I love so dearly.&nbsp; It also cracks me up to realize that all three of my fathers <i>love</i> to fish--I have decided I will never get away from these fisherman!&nbsp; My two earthly fathers are fishing-crazy and Jesus was a big fisherman, too. &nbsp; I guess my Heavenly Father is trying to drive home the point to me that our purpose here is to, "fish"--but not just in the regular sense of the word.&nbsp; He wants us to, "<i>fish for men</i>," as His Word states in Matthew 4:19.&nbsp; I guess that's my even deeper purpose in writing this story.&nbsp; Though I will not share my two earthly fathers with you (sorry, they're mine), I <i>do</i> desire to share my Heavenly Father with you.&nbsp; I pray that you will know Him in His fullness, grace, and love if you don't already.&nbsp; And to all the fatherless people out there--here's a reality you, too, can embrace and own:&nbsp; <i>You aren't really fatherless</i>. Your Father is right there <i>waiting</i> for you to<i> fearlessly find </i>and <i>follow</i> Him.&nbsp; So that movie scene can be yours, too.&nbsp; Praise be to God, our perfect Father and Friend.<br /><br />Matthew 4:19, "'Come follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will send you out to fish for people.'"&nbsp; Amen.<br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-44685409604744577232013-08-29T15:35:00.001-05:002013-08-29T15:39:58.724-05:00Facing My Biggest Fear--Part 2<i>Bienvenido de nuevo, amigos</i> or, welcome back, friends!&nbsp; You've come back for Part Two of the story of, <i>facing the fear of finding my biological father</i>--and I thank you.&nbsp; A few of you have spoken or written privately to me regarding this story, and I appreciate your kindnesses and sincerity.&nbsp; The support and encouragement I have derived from you is monumental, and I pray a special blessing on you for this.&nbsp; Sharing the guts of your life isn't easy, so it has been very helpful to know there are people reading this who appreciate it, support it, and aren't just "curious."<br /><br />Deciding to share this particular story of my life posed some problems for me--the least of which was length.&nbsp; If you are a remotely faithful reader of this blog (or know me personally), then you know firsthand that "pithy" would not be a fitting adjective for me.&nbsp; But this story isn't a short one, even for someone with the gift of brevity.&nbsp; Hence, the continuation.&nbsp; So thanks again for sticking with me.<br /><br />As I stated briefly in Part One of this story, talking about my life with others has been only a good thing and <i>has</i> brought a lot of healing in my life.&nbsp; God calls and equips us all differently, and talking and writing are areas in which I feel very comfortable.&nbsp; It's always a great thing to help others and give glory to God for the things through which He has brought us.&nbsp; It's a natural out-pouring of a relationship with Christ to want to testify to His power and the strength you derive from knowing Him.&nbsp; Speaking and writing have always been the avenues to which I've been naturally drawn for doing this.&nbsp; But as great as sharing is, it has never seemed to bring full closure to this issue in my life--as much as I have always wanted to think it did.&nbsp; <br /><br />There is another part of this story that warrants addition.&nbsp; After that night of meeting my daughter, Allie, for dinner, and making the decision together to begin searching for my father, I felt an immense amount of <i>relief</i>.&nbsp; The weight that was lifted off me that night was unexpectedly huge.&nbsp; Though I hadn't actually faced the fear of meeting my father yet, <i>not </i>making the<i> </i>decision<i></i> to do so had been weighing me down more than I realized.&nbsp; Oftentimes, the fear and avoidance we carry due to <i>not</i> wanting to deal with an issue is actually <i>worse</i> than dealing with it!&nbsp; Being a middle-aged woman, having occasional sleepless nights is a common problem (as it is with many of us).&nbsp; So I justified my restless nights those previous three months as just, "middle-aged" issues, when I know God was actually trying to get my attention many of those nights.&nbsp; God often awakens us in our sleep to talk to us because it is sadly the best time for Him to do it--no one and nothing else is beckoning our call or distracting us at that time, and we are <i>still</i>.&nbsp; I realized that God had been trying to get my attention many nights since my chat in March with my friend, JB.&nbsp; After finally making the decision with Allie to find her grandfather (my father), I slept like a baby every night afterward.&nbsp; Why do we fight God in areas where He just wants to help and guide us?&nbsp; <i>Fear</i>.&nbsp; It's always fear with me.<br /><br />It was odd really--you would think making such an enormous decision would have created <i>more</i> anxiety for me.&nbsp; Though making the decision and promising my daughter to search for my father <i>did</i> bring fears to the surface that I was trying to bury, it simultaneously gave me unexpected clarity and relief from the pain I was stuffing.&nbsp; Just as sharing about my life in smaller settings has always forced me to process feelings and thoughts, making the decision to finally resolve the issue entirely brought purpose to the meaningless.&nbsp; All the time I had seemingly wasted over the years thinking about doing something, and all the painful thoughts I had ever had, now seemed like stepping stones to a divine plan. The entire situation seemed <i>hopeful</i> instead of hopeless.&nbsp; I felt like the, "big scary monster" in my life was being slowly put to death--and it gave me such empowerment and freedom.&nbsp; I know and believe that God gave me the grace and peace I was going to need to deal with the situation on that night because I had FINALLY <i>listened</i> to Him and <i>trusted</i> Him to walk with me through it.&nbsp; God just rolls like that--<i>He gives us what we need when we need it most</i>.&nbsp; Even more than that, God has used that fact as a reminder in my life of His provision and trustworthiness many times since.&nbsp; It has become yet another stone in my altar of faith in Him.&nbsp; I pray it spurs me to act on faith and quick obedience to God in the future, knowing I can trust Him.&nbsp; His character is such that He will provide for me regardless of how scary things seem. <br /><br />Personally, I think, "what-ifs" totally suck.&nbsp; Yes, there's risk involved in facing a fear of any kind--and yes, it doesn't always work out just as we expect or want.&nbsp; But if you never take the leap, how will you ever know how it would have turned out?&nbsp; That question can stifle and torture you in your life all on its own.&nbsp; In my quest last year to remove all fear from my life, (and I'm still working to maintain this in my life, by the way), one of the visuals I gave myself was to think about lying on the side of the highway in a car wreck, alert and aware that my death is impending.&nbsp; Of whom and what would I be thinking?&nbsp; What would I regret?&nbsp; What would I wish I had done or been less afraid of doing?&nbsp; With whom would I regret not having a needed conversation?&nbsp; Would there be anyone I had wronged on any level to whom I should have apologized?&nbsp; Would there be anyone I'd regret never telling them I love them?&nbsp; This visual not only drove me to face several fears last year, but it prompted me to make some needed changes and strive for some things in my life that were past due:&nbsp; trusting God more and acting on my faith in Him for starters.&nbsp; Being less of a, "people-pleaser," was another biggie.&nbsp; Basically, living each day with more hope and way less fear!&nbsp; The cool thing is that I can now answer all of those questions knowing full well that I've handled the business of my life (the good, the bad, and the ugly)!&nbsp; With continued maintenance, there will be <i>no regrets</i> if I end up on the side of the road one day (and with my current driving behavior in my Mini Cooper, this isn't that far-fetched)! &nbsp; It became clear to me by mid-summer last year that finding my father was the last item on my, "fear and regret" list.&nbsp; It was a biggie, so I guess I saved the best for last.<br /><br />Though I write of this story as if it were a "big deal," it's also important to state that I am well-aware that there are many others out there who do not know their real parent(s) and who never will.&nbsp; There are precious children adopted every day who were left at orphanages and will never know much about the origins of their life.&nbsp; Do I believe this will stifle and torture their future?&nbsp; Only if they let it.&nbsp; But I fully realize that this story is not rare or special at all--and <i>that</i> is actually one of the main reasons I chose to be transparent and write about this.&nbsp; It is my strong desire to encourage anyone else out there who is carrying the same unknowns, guilt, questions, regret, fears, and pain to take the chance and face it all--or if that's not possible, <i>to release it for good to the Lord</i>.&nbsp; He is your one true first origin anyway.&nbsp; But I am convinced that putting missing puzzle pieces into place in one's life is only a healthy thing if you have the ability to do so.&nbsp; <br /><br />Let's see...so where did we leave off?&nbsp; The search.&nbsp; Allie and I made the decision to find my father (her grandfather) on June 19, 2012.&nbsp; That week was a life-rocking week for a non-boat-rocker like me.&nbsp; In my quest for fearless living, God had also urged me (okay, it was more like He had <i>drug</i> me) to make the decision to go to a friend with whom I'd suffered a broken relationship.&nbsp; He had been prompting me to go apologize for my part in our misunderstanding for several months, even if only to free them and myself from the whole, "what-if" scenario.&nbsp; So this was another cause for many restless nights that spring.&nbsp; I obeyed God and went.&nbsp; Let's just say it didn't go well.&nbsp; As if that wasn't enough, we began the search for my father that week, too (it was a bit much for one week--pace yourself, Steph)!&nbsp; Allie, being a good sleuth with Internet savvy skills, found a few addresses for him, as well as phone numbers.&nbsp; She also found out information about other family members--some of which was pretty hard to discover.&nbsp; My Aunt Dorothy (or Aunt "Socorro," as was her given Spanish name), had died several years ago.&nbsp; So my dream of meeting-up with her again, getting to know her better, and eating her amazing Mexican food died right along with that knowledge.&nbsp; It was a painful night.&nbsp; Allie also discovered many other deaths in the family that day and we began to realize that there actually weren't many in our family left.&nbsp; I grieved this a great deal that evening, realizing that I had only recently missed opportunities to know my grandfather, my grandmother, and several other relatives.&nbsp; If only I had gotten my act together with this fear-thing ten years ago, I would have perhaps been able to meet and know all of them. &nbsp; But this is what we get when we live with fear for too long--<i>more regret</i>.<br /><br />I allowed my grief to swell that night, but realized the next morning that there was no point in it.&nbsp; Thank God for mornings--things always look better in the morning.&nbsp; It hit me that what was done was done.&nbsp; At least I had the hope of meeting and finding my father.&nbsp; My daughter, who is so level-headed and such an encouragement to me, reminded me that this was our initial desire anyway.&nbsp; But being me, I then prayed fervently that we wouldn't find out that we were too late for that, as well.&nbsp; I was tempted to fear about this for a few days, but each time I would cast it down in Christ's name and leave it at God's feet.&nbsp; I knew that God would not have brought my friend, JB, and I, to the conversation we had in March, and Allie and I to the decision we had made that week, only to kill all my hopes entirely.&nbsp; God knew this particular test in facing my fears was huge for me, and I believed that He wasn't going to allow His faithfulness to appear disproved in it.&nbsp; The many recent deaths we had found in our biological family were a set-back (as was my grand apology with a former friend that week).&nbsp; But I didn't allow any of that to completely destroy my faith in God in what I was seeking to do with this fear-thing.&nbsp; That in and of itself was a huge victory over fear for me.&nbsp; My grief faded and I was even filled with a strong feeling that this was going to be nothing but a great thing.<br /><br />For reasons such as travel schedules, vacations, and other commitments, Allie and I decided to wait until Labor Day weekend to call my father.&nbsp; We wanted to do it at a time when we could be together and do it together, and our schedules were such that Labor Day weekend was the first time we could make that happen.&nbsp; In considering the feelings of my father and what this knowledge might do to him and his life, we also wanted to call him on a long weekend.&nbsp; This way if he weren't retired, he would have some extra time to process receiving such a phone call before having to return to work.&nbsp; Our plan for Labor Day seemed perfect.&nbsp; We would call first thing on Saturday morning and pray in the interim.<br /><br />The remainder of summer seemed endless.&nbsp; I pondered over and over in my mind what I would say to my father.&nbsp; I rehearsed--<i>a lot</i>.&nbsp; I sought counsel from wise friends who knew my story and whose opinions I trusted (God bless you--you know who you are).&nbsp; I asked them for prayer support and I know they gave it.&nbsp; I asked them for precise wording advice on how I should handle the conversation.&nbsp; I took lots of notes, mental and actual, from those friends.&nbsp; I practiced differing versions from their advice for various scenarios that could occur in my conversation with my father.&nbsp; I went over and over it while driving in my car, working out at the gym, running my trails, swimming laps, laying at the pool, you name it--I rehearsed.&nbsp; I was going to be prepared and ready for anything.&nbsp; And I prayed.&nbsp; Boy, did I pray.&nbsp; I prayed for my father--for God to soften and prepare his heart for my call and my entry into his life, even if the one phone call was all that happened.&nbsp; I prayed for myself--that God would at least allow me to meet my father, even if it was a one-time deal.&nbsp; I prayed that God would bring healing, peace, and fearless love to us both regardless of how it all turned-out.&nbsp; I prayed for my mother--that God would prepare her heart for the knowledge that I had found and met my father.&nbsp; I asked God to help her understand the reasons why Allie and I needed to do this, and that she would never question our love and loyalty.&nbsp; I asked God to shelter her from fear (there's that word again) and that He'd give me the exact words and perfect timing to tell her and my dad (her husband).&nbsp; <br /><br />Labor Day weekend came.&nbsp; Matt and I headed to spend it with Allie and our son in-law, Kale.&nbsp; When we arrived, the four of us went out for a fabulous dinner that Friday night, and Allie and I discussed our plan more.&nbsp; We prayed about it, let it go, and just enjoyed our evening together.&nbsp; The next morning, we ate a nice breakfast and prepared for the big moment.&nbsp; Allie and I had our notes in front of us and the four of us prayed.&nbsp; Then I placed the first call to the first phone number.&nbsp; It was disconnected.&nbsp; So we moved on to phone number #2.&nbsp; No answer.&nbsp; Upon calling the <i>last</i> number we had for my father, a woman with a Latina accent answered.&nbsp; I said, "Hello.&nbsp; My name is, Stephanie Teagarden, and I am trying to reach, [insert my father's name here]."&nbsp; I told her I was the daughter of, [insert my mother's name here].&nbsp; She replied, "I don't know her," and hung up.&nbsp; I was dumbfounded.&nbsp; That was it.&nbsp; That was the last number for him that we had.&nbsp; Did this lady live with my dad, and just didn't want to let me speak with him?&nbsp; Was it a wrong number?&nbsp; Was she pretending to not recognize my mother's name in an effort to avoid me and keep me from my father?&nbsp; I had no way of knowing.&nbsp; I was so discouraged that we had built this up all summer and now we were hitting all these dead-ends.&nbsp; Allie immediately said, "Mom, we have other family phone numbers.&nbsp; Let's just move on to someone else."&nbsp; But I didn't want to ignore the number with no answer because I felt it was better to <i>not</i>involve other family members if we could possibly reach my father directly first (in order to alleviate more worms in the already big can of worms).&nbsp; So we made many attempts to reach him at the one remaining number.&nbsp; But each time it was the same thing--no answer and no voicemail message.<br /><br />By Labor Day (Monday), we decided it was time to go ahead and call another family member.&nbsp; I placed the call to what ended up being my uncle's house--my dad's half-brother.&nbsp; His wife (my aunt) answered the phone and we spoke for nearly two hours.&nbsp; She was very kind.&nbsp; She listened to my story and shared the details of the family history with me.&nbsp; She filled me in on the recent deaths and on many other matters of interest.&nbsp; It was a hard but good conversation.&nbsp; I enjoyed speaking with her greatly, but she sadly shared that her husband and my father were somewhat estranged (though she didn't share many details as to why).&nbsp; She did say that they could get a hold of him for me if I wanted to go that route.&nbsp; She basically offered to kindly play, "mediator," in the situation to lessen the stress on both ends.&nbsp; I felt this was perhaps her way of hinting that my dad would prefer this method.&nbsp; So at the end of our conversation, I felt comfortable enough to give her all my contact information and tell her to let him know I was trying to reach him.&nbsp; I told her to tell my father that if he felt comfortable doing so, he could call me anytime, and that I didn't<i> </i>want<i> </i>anything<i> </i>except to talk to him and/or meet him<i>.</i>&nbsp; I added, "<i>If he doesn't want to talk or meet, I completely understand.&nbsp; I just needed to try</i>."&nbsp; She agreed to do all this and to also tell my uncle (her husband) about my call when he returned home that night.&nbsp; I hung up feeling total relief and peace.&nbsp; The ball was in my father's court and I had done what I had set out to do.&nbsp; Now it was up to my aunt, my father, and God.<br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-38878827451506688662013-08-12T20:22:00.001-05:002013-08-13T09:39:16.765-05:00Facing My Biggest Fear--Part 1In a blog post of mine from last November (2012) entitled, "<i>Shine His Light</i>," I hint at some personal journeys on which God has been taking me this past year to enable me to let go of some personal fears and obstacles.&nbsp; I promised to write about one key journey at a later date, and well, that date has arrived.&nbsp; One of those journeys was hands-down, my biggest fear and largest personal demon~that of finding my biological father.&nbsp; So in celebration of reaching the one year milestone of writing this blog (as of July 31, 2013), I will begin the next year by sharing this story of my life with you, my dear readers and friends.&nbsp; I will share it in a three part series to hopefully make it more easily readable.&nbsp; <br /><br />As I've blogged previously, I grew up in a single-parent home for the bulk of my young life.&nbsp; My mother was married to my biological father for three years and divorced him when I was an infant.&nbsp; She remarried when I was four years old and divorced that man when I was six.&nbsp; After that, she remained single until I was 19 years old.&nbsp; She then remarried again, and has been married to the same wonderful, Godly man for the past 24 years.&nbsp; I am proud to have always called this man, "Dad."&nbsp; Until recently, he has been the only father I've ever truly had or known.&nbsp; Years ago, I wrote a devotional about my dad that I will more than likely re-post here in the future.&nbsp; He has been one of the biggest answers to prayer that God has ever given me.&nbsp; I have shared more details of my personal life-testimony with smaller, more intimate groups in church settings.&nbsp; But for the sake of brevity, and in honor and respect to my mother, I will not divulge all the history and "whys" of the family-brokenness in my young life.&nbsp; Life happens--we'll leave it at that.<br /><br />Growing up in a single-parent home brings many hardships and obstacles for a youngster.&nbsp; There is the obvious one--you have no father, and every kid needs a father.&nbsp; You don't always feel "safe."&nbsp; As a girl, you also grow-up a bit afraid or unsure of men.&nbsp; Oddly enough, you overly strive to seek their approval, as little girls typically try to do even when they <i>have</i> a loving father present.&nbsp; You also grow up with a messed-up idea of, "God as Father," when you have never had one of your own.&nbsp; When there is no one to compare God to as, "father-figure" in your life, you are uncertain of the validity of God, as well as His trustworthiness in the provisions of your life.&nbsp; In my young years, I watched my mother struggle and cry tears of fear and uncertainty over many things--bills, car repairs, medical costs, broken down water-heaters, household maintenance, child-care, aloneness, and the like.&nbsp; Money was so tight that the stress of it posed significant strain on me.&nbsp; I remember being made fun of at school for my limited clothing and shoe attire.&nbsp; I was lucky if I got a new pair of tennis shoes, a pair of loafers, and one other pair of dress shoes per school year--and those three pairs of shoes looked pretty rough by the end of the school year.&nbsp; Eating a bowl of cereal for supper was a regular occurrence, and this was due to necessity, not choice (this is probably why I tend to overeat and excessively <i>love</i> food to this day).&nbsp; I recall being overly concerned that we wouldn't have enough to eat--and many nights my mother would encourage me not to eat seconds so that we would have enough to eat the same meal the next night.&nbsp; When you have to use your own babysitting money just to buy a new hairbrush and toothpaste at the ripe old age of 13, you just don't always feel God's provision, especially when you have friends whose parents are buying them cars and taking lavish vacations.&nbsp; Looking back now, I realize that God ALWAYS provided.&nbsp; It may not be in the way we want it, but He is there and He <i>does</i> meet our needs--even when we go without.<br /><br />But sadly, I have many times resorted back to that little-girl mentality and carried it into adulthood fearing things such as:&nbsp; being alone and having to make it on my own; fearing that God isn't going to come through for me; fearing that my husband, Matt, will leave me or fail me (as the other men in my life did); worrying that someone is going to break-in and harm me; etc.&nbsp; I've previously blogged in more detail about some of these fears in a blog post entitled, "Modern Take on Psalm 23."&nbsp; While I was growing up, my mother and I suffered numerous break-ins to our home and it left some pretty big scars of fear.&nbsp; Instead of realizing and appreciating that God protected us from any physical harm through those experiences, I sadly focused on the fact that we'd been violated.&nbsp; Regardless of that, you grow up pretty fast when faced with these kinds of dilemmas and stresses.&nbsp; At the same time, you grow up with some thought processes of God that need serious correcting.&nbsp; Just as I struggle at times with the fear that someone is going to break into my home, I also have a tendency to worry about money and to perhaps even be overly frugal due to that fear.&nbsp; To this day I still at times battle the doubts of whether God is there for me and whether He will provide for my needs whenever I am faced with serious hardship.&nbsp; Worrying that I may need to stand on my own two feet one day, I scrimp on things and at times have struggled with generosity due to my desire to save (okay, hoard) money.&nbsp; Saving money is a great and wonderful trait when it doesn't affect what God asks of us with regard to giving and showing charity toward those less fortunate.&nbsp; It is an area I have worked to improve in recent years, but it boils down to a trust issue with God.&nbsp; The bottom line is, I can't put my faith and security in my pocketbook.&nbsp; If it isn't in God and God alone, it is founded on a faulty foundation.&nbsp; It doesn't matter how many CDs, investments, mutual funds, or IRAs you have--it can all be stripped away from you.&nbsp; God is showing me this and teaching me to just trust Him with everything I have.&nbsp; It is a hard lesson for a control-freak like me. <br /><br />Funny how many of our adult fears stem from childhood. I know that many of mine come from living in a single-parent home.&nbsp; I firmly believe that God designed the family unit the way He did for a reason.&nbsp; Children need <i>both</i> a mother and a father because each has unique roles, abilities, and important, balancing values for the family that all kids need in order to thrive.&nbsp; Fathers and mothers also need<i> each other.&nbsp;</i> Women aren't meant or suited to play both roles, and neither are men.&nbsp; My mother did the best she could and did a great job in so many ways.&nbsp; She astounds me to this day and is definitely one of the biggest heroes in my life.&nbsp; But she wasn't all I needed, and I am convinced that single-parent homes were not God's design for many obvious reasons.&nbsp; <br /><br />My mother rarely spoke of my biological father.&nbsp; When she did, I could tell it evoked feelings of great anguish and pain, and that she was not comfortable with the discussion.&nbsp; As I got older and braver, my line of questioning became more in depth, and this again would create tension.&nbsp; So I grew-up knowing very little about my real father other than that he was Mexican and a musician.&nbsp; To my knowledge, my father had only called once to ask my mother to see me when I was 10 years old.&nbsp; I recall that evening distinctly.&nbsp; The tears my mother shed that night arguing on the phone with him upset me greatly.&nbsp; In my loyalty to her, I refused to talk to him and yelled passionately, "<i>Tell him to go away and leave us alone</i>!"&nbsp; I carried the guilt of that with me until last October--so for about 32 years.&nbsp; Yes...I know...I was only 10.&nbsp; But this is what we do to ourselves in life, isn't it?&nbsp; We can guilt ourselves for everything--even things that don't make sense.&nbsp; Some of us are better at it than others.&nbsp; <br /><br />Since I knew at that point that my father<i> did</i> care to see me and he hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in total disinterest, I secretly carried all the blame that I didn't know him from age 10 on up.&nbsp; This created a great deal of pain and tension in my teen years for me.&nbsp; At the same time, I would oddly find myself fantasizing that I found my father and that all was well.&nbsp; I envisioned myself singing alongside him as he played guitar.&nbsp; I imagined sitting at his table feasting on homemade Mexican dishes prepared by my great aunt, Socorro (my great aunt Dorothy).&nbsp; I had actually met and seen Aunt Dorothy several times during my young years.&nbsp; She was a wonderful, loving woman.&nbsp; My mother stayed in touch with her for quite a while without my father knowing (Aunt Dorothy respected my mother's wishes on this).&nbsp; She spoke little English, but was so kind and hospitable.&nbsp; The last time I saw her was the summer before my senior year in high school.&nbsp; My mother had not taken me to see her for a few years, and though Aunt Dorothy was very loving and delighted to see me, I recall it was an extremely uncomfortable visit for me--internally speaking.&nbsp; At that time, I was not in a place in my life where I wanted to face all the unknowns of my life. The visit was a fairly short one. I recall sharing the basics of my life with Aunt Dorothy--the fact that I was a lifeguard, a singer, and I told her all about the boy I was dating (my husband).&nbsp; Then while my mother was using the ladies room, Aunt Dorothy gave me some contact information for my biological father (her nephew).&nbsp; I thanked her, but at the time, it was nothing I wanted to face.&nbsp; I felt ill just thinking about meeting him.&nbsp; I saved that contact information though.&nbsp; I still have it.<br /><br />Throughout my adulthood, I dreamed of truly knowing my aunt and being a part of her life, as well as that of my father and my entire biological family.&nbsp; But life gets busy and we don't always know how to make dreams realities.&nbsp; I carried this dream, along with the guilt I had for telling my father to, "go away," in a painful dichotomy my entire adult life.&nbsp; Every time I have seen a Mexican family anywhere near the town from where I know my family resides, I have wondered if they are my relatives.&nbsp; Each time I have seen a Mexican or Hispanic-looking man around the age of my father, I have wondered if he is <i>my</i> father.<br /><br />It is amazing to me how important "blood" is to us.&nbsp; As I have already stated, the man my mother married when I was 19 has been the only father I've ever really known or had.&nbsp; He is all that a girl could ever hope for in a father.&nbsp; But for some reason, the wonderful love I have received from him for nearly 25 years still did not trump my curiosity and desire to find my biological father.&nbsp; I will never fully understand why that is but I believe it is just innate in most of us to desire a full understanding of our roots and past.&nbsp; It isn't just a desire--it can become a need.&nbsp; When we have missing puzzle pieces in our own history it can be quite enticing and troubling all at once.&nbsp; Though those voids aren't perhaps making or breaking our current existence, they do shape our identity in deeply hidden places we don't even like to talk about, let alone face.&nbsp; <br /><br />Not knowing my "real" father has not been a major secret in my life though.&nbsp; Once I get to know people and feel reasonably "safe" to share, I'm pretty much an open-book.&nbsp; So I have shared openly of it in my personal testimony with various church families, ministry groups, and close friends all throughout my adulthood (and have done so pretty fearlessly).&nbsp; When I've used this part of my life-story for Godly purpose, it has at times felt "healed," or as if it can be neatly placed back into a box and left on a shelf for safe-keeping.&nbsp; Sharing with others about the things through which God has brought me, and helping others handle their own broken family issues, has given me great strength and joy in my life.&nbsp; But it has never seemed to fully heal it, as much as I always wanted to think it did.&nbsp; When something is "undone," it's just undone.<br /><br />Last March, I was sitting backstage in my church resting and preparing to lead worship for the next church service.&nbsp; One of my dear worship band-mates and friends, John, (JB, as I call him--and yes, I've blogged about him recently), casually plopped down beside me and began jokingly harassing me in true JB-form.&nbsp; Then out of nowhere he asked me a very blunt and random question:&nbsp; "<i>So Steph, have you ever found your real father</i>?"&nbsp; I was extremely caught off-guard by this question, but not surprised due to the source--JB rolls this way in his discussions (and I actually love him for it)!&nbsp; He is one of those brutally honest, very open conversationalists that keep you on your toes.&nbsp; Very few people could be so forward and yet never make you feel the least bit nervous.&nbsp; But JB sincerely cares about his friends and it is a gift to have such a friend.&nbsp; So I replied that, <i>no</i>, I had <i>not</i> ever really looked for my father, other than one time long ago.&nbsp; I then shared that when I was 24 years old, I found my father and drove up his driveway to spy on him or perhaps even knock on his door.&nbsp; But I saw him outside (or who I believed to be him), panicked, and fled.&nbsp; JB replied, "Well, Gina (his wife, who happens to also be Mexican) and I were out on the patio the other night talking.&nbsp; We got to thinking about your story and wondering if you'd ever looked for your dad.&nbsp; We haven't asked you about this in a while and were just wondering."&nbsp; I said, "Oh, well...no...I guess I'm avoiding it."&nbsp; He questioned further with, "Why?"&nbsp; I said, "I guess fear."&nbsp; JB said, "Fear of what?"&nbsp; So I explained, "Well...fear that he won't want to know me...that he won't be all I've envisioned...that he'll be unimpressed with <i>me</i>...that he'll mess up my life or expect me to take care of <i>him</i> in his old age when he has never done anything for me...fear of a LOT of stuff.&nbsp; It's all the unknowns, and I guess I'm just not sure it's worth 'upsetting the apple-cart.'"&nbsp; JB said he understood my fears--he even validated them all.&nbsp; Then he said with that typical little twinkle in his eye and the love of Christ in his face, "Well, I just think people change.&nbsp; I think your dad is a sixty-something-year-old man and I doubt he's the same person he was 42 years ago.&nbsp; I think it is a cryin' shame he doesn't know you."&nbsp; Then he said the part that still makes me warm and fuzzy inside, "<i>All I know is, if I knew I had a daughter that looked like you and was the person you are, and a granddaughter that looked like Allie and was the person she is, and I didn't get a chance to know you both, I'd feel like I had lost the lottery</i>." This hit me like lead.&nbsp; What a great compliment--as precious as they have ever come.&nbsp; But there was an immense amount of truth in what he had said about the likelihood of my father being different now.&nbsp; Perhaps my father needed the same healing I did.&nbsp; I pondered all this <i>daily</i> for a few months.&nbsp; Actually, it tortured me.<br /><br />As I stated, I have only had a handful of conversations about my biological father with my mother throughout adulthood.&nbsp; In those discussions, I have received bits and pieces of new information about my father, my half-brother, and other blood relatives--some grand and some painful.&nbsp; Those talks have always been brief and awkward for both of us, and they typically send me into a spiraling down effect that spurs both my curiosity and pain even more.&nbsp; To the contrary, my only child and daughter, Alexandria ("Allie"), and I, have had <i>many</i> conversations about my father (her grandfather). Her curiosity and desire to find him and know our family roots or "blood-line" have become increasingly heightened throughout her life.&nbsp; Last summer while meeting Allie for dinner one night, she expressed through tears her strong desire to find her grandfather.&nbsp; She shared from her heart that she was growing ever more concerned about his age and posed two tough but poignant questions to me.&nbsp; The first question was, "<i>Mom, you have recently declared that you are sick and tired of being afraid of everything in life, and that you are going to take steps to remove all fear from your life.&nbsp; So why are you afraid in THIS case</i>?" The second was, "<i>Mom, are you going to be okay if he dies and you never meet him</i>?"&nbsp; At that moment, my conversation with JB from a few months prior came strongly to mind, yet again.&nbsp; I shared of it with Allie, and she agreed that John's remarks were no accident.&nbsp; I already knew this, but in my typical, "avoid-rocking-the-boat-in-life-at-all-cost" mentality, I'd just been personally burying it.&nbsp; My answer to Allie was an easy, "<i>no</i>"--I wasn't going to be okay if I never got to meet my father. We shed some tears and made the decision to begin the search.&nbsp; The last real fear that I had been burying and reburying in life was getting unearthed...and I would be facing it soon. <br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-8640247212941141322013-07-26T16:08:00.000-05:002013-08-04T21:50:56.966-05:00Most Embarrassing MomentWe all have them.&nbsp; Embarrassing moments in our past that haunt or humor us to this day.&nbsp; Being the sensitive person I have always been, I personally feel I have more of these moments than anyone needs.&nbsp; But let me share a few of my favorites to set the tone here...<br /><br />The first embarrassing moment I can even recall was when I peed my pants in second grade.&nbsp; I had asked my teacher numerous times to use the restroom, but she kept saying, "No."&nbsp; Our class had just gone to the restroom as a class and I had refused to take the opportunity.&nbsp; So, in her domineering attempt to teach me a lesson, I wet myself...and my chair, and the floor.&nbsp; I can still see that puddle to this day (and hear it)!&nbsp; Surprisingly enough, no one made fun of me for it.&nbsp; I think the other kids were all empathetic that she had refused my repeated requests--well, that and the fact that I began bawling hysterically upon releasing the flood gates.&nbsp; I guess they all decided I'd already had enough stress.&nbsp; One boy, who usually took every opportunity to pick on me, even came over and said he was sorry for me.&nbsp; Kids can be cruel...but they can also be wonderful.&nbsp; I still remember the hideous jeans she made me put on until my mom could arrive with fresh attire.&nbsp; Boy, was I stylin'.&nbsp; As if wetting myself wasn't enough humiliation.<br /><br />My next most embarrassing moment was when I was around 16 years old.&nbsp; I was at Grand Lake in Oklahoma vacationing with two girlfriends and their families.&nbsp; We'd left the cabin for the day to take the boat out for a fun day of tubing and skiing.&nbsp; I didn't know how to ski yet, so one friend's cousin kindly asked if she could get in the lake with me and teach me.&nbsp; Being the sports-lover and athlete that I was (and still attempt to be), I was thoroughly excited that someone was willing to teach me a new sport.&nbsp; Within about 30 minutes, (and several face flops and massive wedgies), I was slalom skiing and absolutely elated about it!&nbsp; The feeling of accomplishment to have learned a challenging and new sport was quite a thrill.&nbsp; As I proudly climbed into the boat with my friends cheering and encouraging me for a job well-done, I was so busy feeling exhilarated that I failed to do a "self-check" of my swim attire before removing my life jacket.&nbsp; As I unwittingly unzipped that life vest, I looked up to see the face of my friend's boyfriend, who was seated dead in front of me.&nbsp; His expression changed rapidly from normal to utter shock.&nbsp; Upon looking down to see what the issue was, I screamed and bailed over the side of the boat in sheer horror.&nbsp; It was a good thing I dove into the water because my face was so red-hot I needed cold water to keep it from exploding! To make matters worse, this friend's beau proceeded to call me, "four eyes" for the remainder of the trip and even later (and I didn't wear glasses then).&nbsp; Ay, yai, yai.&nbsp; I wanted to just die.&nbsp; Every time I saw him afterward, I felt like he took abnormally great pleasure in the fact that he saw, "the girls" without my approval.&nbsp; Embarrassment in the purest form...<br /><br />The last anecdote I will share occurred my freshman year at Kansas State University.&nbsp; I was just 18 years old, had recently married my high school sweet heart, AND we had a new baby.&nbsp; (Side note:&nbsp; Yes, I endured and survived an unexpected, teenage pregnancy.&nbsp; That would <i>easily</i> rank #1 in the "embarrassment" and "shame" department for me, but God is merciful and good.&nbsp; I am still married to the same man and our, "little bundle-of-unplanned-bliss," has been <i>just that</i>--she is our <i>pride and joy</i>.&nbsp; She had to have been the easiest child ever to raise, and was the apple of both our eyes.&nbsp; But that lengthy story of sin, mercy, and blessing is better-suited for another blog post, not one on, "embarrassment").&nbsp; Back to my original tale... So I'm standing in a horrendously long line in the Financial Aid Office at KSU, waiting to receive my Financial Aid check so I can go register and pay for my first semester of classes.&nbsp; I can't recall who was watching my little girl, but she was not with me.&nbsp; Now you moms and new mothers will understand the overwhelming feeling you have nearly 100% of the time as the mother of a 6-week old.&nbsp; When your baby is not with you, you feel completely detached and out-of-sorts.&nbsp; You've been used to carrying the precious little babe for nine months, and they <i>belong with you</i>.&nbsp; It's just unnerving.&nbsp; (Another side note:&nbsp; They say the top five major, normal stresses an adult can face in life are:&nbsp; marriage, moving, a new job/position, <i>a new baby</i>, and an unexpected death.&nbsp; I had experienced 4 of the 5 in just six months, and all at only 18 years of age).&nbsp; Suffice it to say, I was a basket of emotional, toxic-nervousness.&nbsp; So I'm standing in line for nearly two hours panicking that I'm not going to make it to registration, and even<i> more</i> strained over the fact that as a nursing mom I needed to return home ASAP for the next feeding.&nbsp; I had left some other feeding options for the sitter, but my little babe was particular and didn't like bottle feedings.&nbsp; So my goal was to try to get back in time, and I was praying like Job for God to help me do so!&nbsp; As I obsessively watched the clock, I knew I wasn't going to make it.&nbsp; Meanwhile, the ditzy sorority girls behind me in line were driving me totally bonkers.&nbsp; All their senseless, self-absorbed talk of, "getting wasted in Aggieville the night prior," and how they, "had their daddy's credit card to go to the mall after this," and how they, "couldn't wait to pick up on guys at the bar again tonight," was making me emotionally and physically ill.&nbsp; The rest of <i>my</i> day would consist of racing to pay my course fees, rushing home to feed my baby, more laundry, making supper, cleaning up supper, and probably bawling myself to sleep from the stress of the day.&nbsp; I recall bitterly entertaining myself with thoughts like, "I wonder...if we spliced the brains of these two together, would it equal one brain?" and, "God knows how many STDs these two will get in this semester alone..."&nbsp; I'm not proud to admit my nasty thoughts, but it's the truth.&nbsp; These two girls were clearly not at K-State for studying, let alone doing so while caring for a family as I was.&nbsp; All of sudden, I hear one of them say in her best, dumb-girl tone, "OH, MYYY GODDDD!&nbsp; What in the HELL is <i>THAT</i>?"&nbsp; Her even less-intelligent friend said, "OH, GA-ROSSE!" I dun-NO!!!!"&nbsp; I looked down to see what all the panic was about to find that my nursing pad had slipped out of my bra onto the freaking floor of the Financial Aid Office, and these two geniuses of course had no idea what it was, nor the tact to just let it go!&nbsp; I thought they would never shut-up about it.&nbsp; I wanted to die, right there on the K-State campus--and I wasn't even officially a freaking Wildcat yet.&nbsp; In all of about 30 seconds, I weighed the odds of what to do.&nbsp; Should I explain to them quietly what it was, and apologize condescendingly?&nbsp; Should I bend down, maturely pick it up, and go throw it away in silence?&nbsp; Or should I ignore the entire situation?&nbsp; I chose Option 3.&nbsp; As I stood there listening to them go <i>on and on</i> incessantly and crudely about what they thought the foreign, round object lying on the floor was, I began to cry quietly.&nbsp; Huge crocodile tears poured down my face, and thank God, no one noticed.&nbsp; I was pretty invisible, and for once in my life, I was glad.&nbsp; I stammered out of my foggy tears to hear one of them say, "<i>What should we DO with it</i>?"&nbsp; So I turned around and angrily kicked my nursing pad clear away from them and gave them a look of disgust as if it say, "<i>Would you two drop it, please</i>?!"&nbsp; And they did.&nbsp; I think they knew at that minute they'd been total A$$E$.&nbsp; "Wow.&nbsp; Maybe their brains <i>would</i> add up to one," I thought.&nbsp; As I attempted to pull myself together, I then began to panic because I knew I was going to be needing that nursing pad any minute now.&nbsp; By the time I finally got to the front of that stinking line and got my check, I was soaked.&nbsp; I bawled all the way to my car and drove straight home.&nbsp; Thankfully, I was able to call and register the next day with no problem (and there were no nursing pad incidents that day, praise God)! <br /><br />So why do I share my little stories with you?&nbsp; Because in thinking about embarrassment, I realize that though I've had <i>many</i> embarrassing moments in life (that are now funny tales), none of them come close to the shame I feel for the sins I have committed against my beloved Lord.&nbsp; Every day I fail Him.&nbsp; I do stupid, selfish things without even thinking. I think depraved thoughts of doubt and fear without even realizing it. I worry about things instead of trusting my God.&nbsp; I eat too much, hoard my money at times (another sign of fear and mistrust of God), and spew venomous words when hurt or angry (as I've confessed in a recent, prior blog).&nbsp; I tell white lies for ease in dealing with difficult people, ignore people who annoy me, and struggle to forgive and forget people who have hurt me deeply.&nbsp; I avoid friendships where I have to be the one who does all the giving and encouraging.&nbsp; I also battle a major people-pleasing illness, thinking everyone needs to love and accept me, and if they don't, I obsess over what it is that could possibly be wrong with me that causes them not to love or want to be with me (and the vanity of that disgusts me--Jesus Himself couldn't and still can't get everyone to love Him, and <i>He was perfect</i>)!&nbsp; On top of all that, I don't pray or read my Bible as much as I should.&nbsp; You might think, "Oh, please. You can't read the Bible every second!"&nbsp; No, that's true.&nbsp; But for the depravity of my mind, I need to read it much more.&nbsp; If we're brutally honest with ourselves, we ALL have areas we need to truly work on for improving our lives.&nbsp; I make it all sound worse than it is, but in an effort to be as transparent as possible, I must say that I am sick of falseness.&nbsp; I see it everyday--people trying to convince the world that they have it all together, that all is well, and that they are "perfect."&nbsp; Well, folks...I am <i>far</i> from perfect, and I'm not playing the game anymore.&nbsp; These are my sins and I am sick of them.&nbsp; I have no interest in friendships with people who aren't real or honest.&nbsp; We aren't here to put up a show, win placement in the popularity-of-the-month-club, or keep up appearances.&nbsp; We are here to love and help each other.&nbsp; We are here to be encouragers and love others higher than ourselves.<br /><br />God's Word tells us numerous times that our sins will all be brought into the light one day, even if we try to hide them.&nbsp; I do not say that to bring fear, undue pressure, or even pain into any one's life.&nbsp; But I do say it to make the point that there really is no point in touting false appearances to others.&nbsp; God will bring it all to light one day anyway.&nbsp; On top of that, the Bible tells us we <i>need</i> to share our sins with others in order to get victory over them.&nbsp; Now I don't believe that means you have to share your sins and struggles with the world, as I'm basically doing here.&nbsp; I trust that God means we need to tell <i>someone </i>because the enemy loses his power over us when we bring things into the light.&nbsp; When we desire to keep our sins or struggles secret or hidden, that is when they grow and can become serious issues.&nbsp; I have found this to be absolutely true, though I am aware that my sharing honestly makes me quite vulnerable.&nbsp; There are those who are reading this blog simply because they are <i>curious</i>--they really don't care about me and have no honest intentions regarding me.&nbsp; Those "curious" folks could have a field-day with the information I share here, and God help them if they do.&nbsp; Does this bother me?&nbsp; A little.&nbsp; Will it silence me?&nbsp; Absolutely not.&nbsp; One of my biggest struggles is with fear--and the only way to conquer fear is to face it.&nbsp; People's opinions of me weigh heavily with me--this is yet another struggle I battle.&nbsp; But if I'm ever going to tackle the vanity and self-absorption of <i>that</i>, I have to face<i> it</i> head-on, as well.&nbsp; The only thing I really want to care about in this life is sharing the eternal life that God freely gives to me with as many people as I possibly can.&nbsp; The rest is just hay and stubble and won't survive the fires of life (1 Cor. 3).<br /><br />Maybe you're reading this blog and thinking, "Oh, good grief.&nbsp; Why is she always so adamant about her faith?&nbsp; There are plenty of other faiths out there and hers is no more special than any of the others."&nbsp; Well, friend, I would disagree with that with my very life.&nbsp; I believe in One true God--the God of the Holy Bible, Jehovah God, the God of Israel.&nbsp; I believe the Holy Bible is the inspired Word of the One true God.&nbsp; I believe Christ came as the incarnate God, the Son of God, the deity of God, to die for the sins of the world.&nbsp; I believe that Jesus is the ONLY way to heaven and for eternal life.&nbsp; If I say I truly believe all these things, but I keep my faith compartmentalized and hidden, then I am either a liar or I desire to see the world rot in hell.&nbsp; Since neither of those things is true, here I am...sharing honestly from my heart about what God has done for me and about how I am a wretched sinner who needs Him every second of every day.<br /><br />Embarrassment is defined on Google as, "a feeling of self-consciousness, <i>shame</i>, or awkwardness."&nbsp; Jesus felt shame for us.&nbsp; He died on a cross in the middle of a public square with wretched criminals at His sides, as if He were one, as well.&nbsp; He was naked (ultimate embarrassment), beaten to a pulp (fairly embarrassing as a guy), agonizing in pain, and mocked in public <i>while</i> He died.&nbsp; It gets no more embarrassing and shameful than that.&nbsp; Add to that the fact that God Himself, Christ's <i>own Father</i>, had to look away and turn His back on Him for a moment--the moment when your sins, my sins, and those of the entire world, past, present and future, were laid upon Him.&nbsp; God was too perfect to look upon all that horrendous stuff, even though He shared a deity with His Son unlike any bond any of us will ever have.&nbsp; So Jesus suffered the utmost shame and embarrassment, and He did so totally alone.&nbsp; Even God Himself wasn't with Him for a moment.&nbsp; None of us endures that.&nbsp; We have God with us every second, even if we choose to make our bed in hell (Psalm 139:8).&nbsp; We choose to leave God or ignore Him.&nbsp; He doesn't leave us--ever.&nbsp; We leave Him.<br /><br />I also love the definition of, "shame," given by an online Bible Study course by Dean &amp; Laura Van Druff:&nbsp; "<i>Shame is the wounding of our flesh towards its death with the truth of God</i>."&nbsp; Basically, when we feel shame, we are deeply feeling our own depravity.&nbsp; We weigh and filter our actions through God's truth, and it is painful.&nbsp; It is not the kind of embarrassment placed on us by an outside source or by one out of our control (like my three stories above).&nbsp; This is the embarrassment and shame we feel when we truly <i>get real</i> with ourselves about our sins.&nbsp; Funny how others' sins are so pungent to us, but our own?&nbsp; Nah...we put those through a nice, clean filter of justification and reason, and we think they come out looking and smelling like a rose.&nbsp; What a joke.&nbsp; We conveniently forget about the thorns...and even if those thorns don't hurt us, they hurt others.<br /><br />I don't want to stand in heaven alongside you one day and be ashamed that I made myself out to be perfect when God and Christ tell and show otherwise.&nbsp; I'm a scum-bucket, and I need Jesus every day--period. I've got issues, friend, and guess what?&nbsp; So do you.&nbsp; The gate and throne of heaven is no place for embarrassing moments.&nbsp; Praise be to God for His steadfast love and forgiveness to us.&nbsp; "<i>His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.</i>"&nbsp; (Lamentations 3:22-23).&nbsp; <br /><br /><i><u><b>Related Scriptures on SHAME:&nbsp;</b></u></i><br /><br />*&nbsp; Jeremiah 6:15, "'Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush. So they will fall among the fallen; they will be brought down when I punish them,' says the LORD."<br />*&nbsp; Jeremiah 31:19, "After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth."<br />*&nbsp; 1 Corinthians 15:34, "Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God--I say this to your shame."<br />*&nbsp; Jeremiah 3:3b, "<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3" id="en-NIV-19006">Therefore the showers have been withheld,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Jer-3-3">and no spring rains have fallen.</span></span> Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute; <span class="text Jer-3-3">you refuse to blush with shame."</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">*&nbsp; 1 Peter 2:6, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">For in Scripture it says: 'See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious Cornerstone, and the one who trusts in Him will never be put to shame.'"&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">*&nbsp; Isaiah 54:4, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3"><span class="text Isa-54-4" id="en-NIV-18728">Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks">&nbsp; </span><span class="text Isa-54-4">Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.&nbsp; </span></span><span class="text Isa-54-4">You will forget the shame of your youth </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-54-4">and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.</span></span>"</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">*&nbsp; Ezekiel 16:63, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">'Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation,' declares the Sovereign LORD." </span></span><br /><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">*&nbsp; Psalm 69:5-7, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3"><span class="text Ps-69-5" id="en-NIV-14941">You, God, know my folly;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-69-5">my guilt is not hidden from You.</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"> Lord, the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> Almighty, <span class="text Ps-69-6">may those who hope in You </span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-69-6">not be disgraced because of me;</span></span><span class="text Ps-69-6"> God of Israel,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-69-6"> may those who seek You </span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-69-6">not be put to shame because of me. </span></span><span class="text Ps-69-7" id="en-NIV-14943">For I endure scorn for Your sake,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-69-7"> and shame covers my face."</span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7">*&nbsp; Hebrews 12:2, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215">Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Pioneer and Perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."</span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215">*&nbsp; Romans 7:24, "</span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116">What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?"</span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116">*&nbsp; 1 John 1:8-10, "</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-8" id="en-NIV-30549">If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.</span><span class="text 1John-1-9" id="en-NIV-30550">&nbsp; If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. &nbsp;</span><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551"><sup class="versenum"></sup>If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word is not in us."</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551">*&nbsp; Psalm 40:1-3, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551"><span class="text Ps-40-1">I waited patiently for the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>; H</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-1">e turned to me and heard my cry. &nbsp;</span></span><span class="text Ps-40-2" id="en-NIV-14528"><sup class="versenum"></sup>He lifted me out of the slimy pit,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-2">out of the mud and mire; H</span></span><span class="text Ps-40-2">e set my feet on a rock</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-2">and gave me a firm place to stand. &nbsp;</span></span><span class="text Ps-40-3" id="en-NIV-14529"><sup class="versenum"></sup>He put a <i>new song in my mouth</i>, </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-40-3">a hymn of praise to our God.&nbsp; </span></span><span class="text Ps-40-3">Many will see and fear the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord </span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-40-3">and put their trust in Him.</span></span>"</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><br /></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551"><u><i><b>Related Scriptures on Bringing SIN to LIGHT:&nbsp;</b></i></u></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><br /></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551">&nbsp;</span></span></span><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551">*&nbsp; Matthew 10:26-27, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551"><span class="text Matt-10-26" id="en-NIV-23444"><span class="woj">So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.</span></span><span class="text Matt-10-27" id="en-NIV-23445"><span class="woj"> What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.</span></span>" &nbsp;</span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551">*&nbsp; Mark 4:22, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Mark-4-22" id="en-NIV-24346"><span class="woj">For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open."</span></span></div><span class="text Mark-4-22" id="en-NIV-24346"><span class="woj">&nbsp;*&nbsp; Luke 18:13-14, "</span></span><span class="text Luke-18-14" id="en-NIV-25703"><span class="woj">But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”</span></span><br /><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551"></span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jas-5-16" id="en-NIV-30371"></span></div><div class="line"><span class="text Jas-5-16" id="en-NIV-30371">*&nbsp; Psalm 90:8, "</span><span class="text Jas-5-16" id="en-NIV-30371"><span class="text Ps-90-8" id="en-NIV-15387">You have set our iniquities before You,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-90-8">our secret sins in the light of Your presence."</span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="text Jas-5-16" id="en-NIV-30371"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-90-8">*&nbsp; Ephesians 5:8-14, "</span></span></span><span class="text Jas-5-16" id="en-NIV-30371"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-90-8"><span class="text Eph-5-8" id="en-NIV-29313">For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light</span><span class="text Eph-5-9" id="en-NIV-29314"> (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)</span><span class="text Eph-5-10" id="en-NIV-29315"> and find out what pleases the Lord.</span><span class="text Eph-5-11" id="en-NIV-29316">&nbsp; Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.&nbsp; </span><span class="text Eph-5-12" id="en-NIV-29317">It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.&nbsp; </span><span class="text Eph-5-13" id="en-NIV-29318">But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.</span><span class="text Eph-5-14" id="en-NIV-29319">&nbsp; This is why it is said:</span></span></span></span><span class="text Eph-5-14">&nbsp; 'Wake up, sleeper,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Eph-5-14"> rise from the dead, </span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Eph-5-14">and Christ will shine on you.'”</span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Eph-5-14">*&nbsp; Job 28:11, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Eph-5-14">They search the sources of the rivers and bring hidden things to light."</span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Eph-5-14">*&nbsp; Proverbs 28:13, "</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Eph-5-14"><span class="text Prov-28-13" id="en-NIV-17210">Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Prov-28-13">but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy."</span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Eph-5-14"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-28-13">*&nbsp; 1 Cor. 4:5b, "</span></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Eph-5-14"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-28-13"><span class="text 1Cor-4-5" id="en-NIV-28439">He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God."</span>&nbsp;</span></span></span></span></div><div class="line"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-69-7"><span class="text Heb-12-2" id="en-NIV-30215"><span class="text Rom-7-24" id="en-NIV-28116"><span class="text 1John-1-10" id="en-NIV-30551">*&nbsp; James 5:16, "</span></span></span></span></span><span class="text Jas-5-16" id="en-NIV-30371">Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."</span></div><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Jer-3-3">&nbsp;</span></span> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174082575528954200.post-34201099257183666362013-07-10T11:10:00.001-05:002013-07-12T10:27:38.347-05:00Time is Ticking...TodaySeveral weeks ago, my husband and I were having a typical late night supper with a few members of my church praise band at one of our favorite hangout spots in Topeka. We were laughing, joking, and just enjoying great conversation, as always.&nbsp; The guitarist, John, who happens to be a dear friend of ours for over 14 years now, asked me sincerely about an item in my life for which he knows I have been praying.&nbsp; I shared that I still needed prayer and advice because this particular thing had begun to suck my energy, time, and joy to a level that was no longer profitable.&nbsp; The "item" isn't important.&nbsp; What <i>is</i> important is what my friend said in response.<br /><br />John randomly asked me what the average life-expectancy has been for the elders in my family, and thus, how long I expected to live (barring no unexpected, early interventions by God).&nbsp; I told him that with my family history of stroke, heart attacks, cancer, and the like, I am guessing that I will live to be about 85 (if everything goes reasonably well).&nbsp; Then he did the mathematics on my current age and alerted me to the fact that I have lived more than half my life (thanks for that tidbit, friend)!&nbsp; Next, he pulled out his calculator (yes, he actually carries a calculator in his wallet--I call him, "George Costanza" with his "organizer" wallet), and told me that I only have 2,184 weekends left in my life.&nbsp; In true and typical form, John humorously coined this as his, "morbid calculation."&nbsp; He concluded his point with this question, "So...how do you <i>really</i> want to spend those 2,184 weekends?&nbsp; Wasting your time on [insert "item" here], when it brings you little joy, zaps your energy, and takes time away from Matt?"&nbsp; Case in point.&nbsp; But it hit me like a ton of lead...2,184 weekends left...seriously?&nbsp; Where has my life gone?&nbsp; Where is it going?&nbsp; (Side note:&nbsp; This conversation was at least a month ago, so now I only have 2,180 left. Whew, those four went by quickly)!&nbsp; Though the point he made was perfect and brought everything into focus more clearly, it also kind of stung a bit.&nbsp; I hear elderly people constantly say, "Life sure goes fast...especially the older you get." &nbsp; But that phrase seemed to keep playing over and over in my head as I pondered the fact that I recently passed the halfway point of my life-expectancy without even realizing it.&nbsp; Ignorance is bliss...<br /><br />Now I don't plan to have some major mid-life crisis over the situation.&nbsp; I say all the time that if the Good Lord decided to come back today, I wouldn't be happier--and I mean it.&nbsp; I try my level best to keep one foot in this world and one foot in the next where my <i>real</i> life will be.&nbsp; Eternity is a heck of a lot longer than 85 years, so it behooves us all to focus a bit more on <i>it</i> than on the here and now.&nbsp; But the reality of being left with 2,184 weekends was just unreal to me.&nbsp; I am a bit of a numbers person.&nbsp; If my checkbook is even a penny off, I WILL find the penny.&nbsp; So putting my life to me in numbers was pretty effective.&nbsp; I knew at that minute that I needed to remove the "item" from my life as best as I could.&nbsp; (Another side note:&nbsp; God actually ended up taking care of the item<i> for</i> me--and in only a couple of weeks!&nbsp; Prayer is powerful!).&nbsp; John concluded the discussion and said, "There are two commodities in life--<i>time and money</i>.&nbsp; Money, you can sometimes get back.&nbsp; But time is limited, and I'm not allowing anything or anyone to waste mine."&nbsp; Wise advice.&nbsp; You hear people say all the time that time<i> IS </i>money.&nbsp; The more I think about all that, the more I realize that time is actually much <i>more</i> <i>valuable</i> than money--once it is gone, it's gone.<br /><br />So what do I want to do with my 2,184 weekends (ah hem...correction, 2,180)?&nbsp; I want to be in church as many Sundays as I possibly can, serving and using my gifts for my Lord and His glory, and fostering a walk with God that enables me to live wisely in every other domain of my life.&nbsp; God's Word says that the only things that will last or be of any genuine value in heaven are the things we do in the name of the Lord for His glory and Kingdom.&nbsp; I want to nourish my marriage and enjoy every minute with Matt that I can.&nbsp; I want to foster great relationships with my daughter, my son in-law, and other extended family and friends.&nbsp; I want to take care of the things God has given me and be a good steward of those things.&nbsp; I want to balance work, ministry, and play in such a way that brings joy and wise investment to my life and my future.&nbsp; I want to stay physically healthy and work to stay in reasonably good shape to hopefully <i>get</i> those 2,180 weekends! <br /><br />That conversation with my friend has entered my mind literally a hundred times since we had it (thanks, JB).&nbsp; It has helped me to streamline my life in an entirely new way.&nbsp; It has also eliminated the guilt I was having in my struggle to rid my life of wasteful items.&nbsp; If you're a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist like me, you are always thinking you should be able to do all things, do all things for all people, and do all those things perfectly.&nbsp; John's morbid calculator has helped me put many things through the litmus test of, "Is this truly a good use of my <i>very limited </i>time?&nbsp; Is this item honestly taking me where I want to be later?&nbsp; Does God REALLY want this in my life?"&nbsp; Time is a tricky thing.&nbsp; We always feel like we have plenty of it.&nbsp; In actuality, we don't have much at all.&nbsp; <br /><br />So what things are you avoiding doing or avoiding <i>ceasing to do</i> that you will one day regret?&nbsp; Time is ticking...and you have a choice.&nbsp; Everything you allow or disallow into your life is ultimately <i>your choice</i>.&nbsp; What person do you need to go to and apologize?&nbsp; What energy-drainers do you need to toss out with your weekly trash?&nbsp; What addiction(s) or sin(s) are you ignoring that are causing harm to your life, your peace, your joy, and/or your relationships? Is what you are doing today driving you along the path to where you really want to be later?&nbsp; With what friend do you need to reconnect or reconcile?&nbsp; Who do you need to just forgive in your heart and then let go permanently?&nbsp; What things and people do you need to remove from your life because they are a waste of your time?&nbsp; Who are the people that are causing you to stumble, or robbing you of your peace and joy--and therefore, need immediate removal (or added distance)? What dream or vision has God given you that you are avoiding pursuing because of laziness, doubt, or fear?&nbsp; Most importantly, are you avoiding GOD, thinking you will take care of your business with Him later when you <i>feel </i>like it?&nbsp; Later may not come--and if I waited to do things until I <i>felt</i> like it, I would rarely accomplish anything.<br /><br />Another pitfall of "later," is that the longer we wait to do something, the harder it becomes to do it.&nbsp; I have noticed at times, when I wait too long to do something I need to do, the situation has often morphed in ways that make it much more difficult to handle or navigate.&nbsp; Sometimes, the results even change because of the time that has passed.&nbsp; For best results, act immediately.&nbsp; For better results, act now!<br /><br />The best verses I can think of for this blog post are:&nbsp; James 1:5, "<i>If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you</i>," and James 4:14, "<i>Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes</i>."&nbsp; So basically, we know two things:&nbsp; One, life is a vapor.&nbsp; Two, if we want to live it wisely, we need to go to <i>God</i>.&nbsp; It's pretty simple really.&nbsp; I pray that as you read this you will begin to feel conviction by God that you have urgent business at hand for your limited days and weekends ahead.&nbsp; We all do.&nbsp; The list of urgent "add" and "remove" items will look differently for everyone.&nbsp; Some will actually be pretty easy...some won't be.&nbsp; You may be thinking, "I'm already too late...I'm too old, too tired, too useless, too done."&nbsp; If you are awake, breathing, and reading this, you are far from done.&nbsp; Maybe you even think your clock is not in your control...or worse, you think it's broken.&nbsp; Friend, as long as the sun keeps rising and you keep breathing, the clock is still ticking and it is still <i>your</i> clock!&nbsp; I personally believe that if we seriously want to correct something(s) in our life, and we truly go to God repeatedly and sincerely, He WILL show us what to do and how to do it.&nbsp; God is the ultimate time-giver and He hates seeing time wasted (essentially, lives wasted).&nbsp; He gave you this life and desires for you to live it to the very fullest with Him, with others, and with yourself!&nbsp; But it takes willingness, persistence, patience, and <i>belief</i> to seek Him and get answers or help.&nbsp; It will also take some evaluation and maintenance because once you get your life rollin' on the right track, be assured--someone or something will come along and throw you off-kilter again.&nbsp; Get quiet before God and let Him speak to you.&nbsp; You will never make wise choices, feel peace, and get real answers for decisions in your life if you are constantly drilling outside, worldly stimuli into your head and drowning out God (which, by the way, is also your choice).&nbsp; But God is always there.&nbsp; He is right there today, beckoning you to Himself.&nbsp; Will you go?&nbsp; Will you let the Great Counselor counsel you?&nbsp; Do you want to see real change in your life and live out your 2,000 +/- weekends to the fullest?&nbsp; We all have the natural tendency to say, "I'll deal with those things tomorrow."&nbsp; There may not be a tomorrow.&nbsp; So let's make tomorrow, <i>today</i>.&nbsp; God bless you all!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Stephanie Teagardenhttps://plus.google.com/115598967306877941465noreply@blogger.com0