Saturday

CL - WTF?

Saturday, June 20, 2009.... What?!FEATURE AD:1) Live In Nanny Needed (Clinton Hill/Brooklyn)Live in Nanny needed FT in the Fort Green/Clinton Hill area. We currently have one two year old a newborn, and we want to have a nanny begin with us now so that everyone will be comfortable during this adjustment period. Here are the particulars:

ResponsibilitiesChildcare of our son who is a happy and importantly an EASY to care for child; who loves books, playing (frequently independently) and building things, and the typical kid stuff. Childcare of our newborn as well.The older boy's daily routine goes typically something like, 8AM wake, eat and play until 10. To the park until noon/one, and then back to the house for some lunch. 2-5 nap, and then back up, a snack and back to park until 6:30. Back to the house for dinner, some play and then asleep by 8:30. He has a great sense of humour, is strangely mechanical, is relatively advanced for his age in that he has started feeding himself a bit, is learning the potty, and has an excellent memory for things he likes.

Responsibilities generally include waking up with the child and going through his day with him, cooking (really only for him+the next child when the time comes), some light shopping when needed, and cleaning/straightening of the house, doing laundry for the family. If we take a day to go visiting with our son, a good part of your day will be occupied with household items (assuming they are needed). With the next child due in less than six weeks, there is a reasonable amount of support needed in organizing various household items.

WorktimeWorkdays are Monday through Saturday full time, with Sunday being our day typically to spend with our son and a day off for a nanny.

Live inThis is a live-in position, and for the time being a nanny would sleep in a bed in our son's room, however we have a sleeping area with its own bathroom and at some point a nanny would sleep in that area which has its own privacy. We live in an spacious newly renovated townhouse on two floors, with generous bathrooms, fantastic cooking kitchen, and beautiful backyard. We generally eat nearly only organic, so the house is always filled with plenty of healthy delicious food. We are young designer-professionals who work hard, and our house is a sanctuary for time spending with the family and relaxing.

YouYou should be a highly energetic individual with a high sense of responsibility, even temper, excellent judgment, interactive, proactive on responsibilities (no one wants to ask every time for the routine items to be done), and light-handed. Since we occupy the same space, sensitivity to private time spending for the family in an intuitive fashion helps greatly. Our child is super independent, and many hours will be spent just keeping an eye on him as he explores his environment. English is a must.

PayPay ranges between $400-$500 per week, depending on experience, time with our family, paid in cash on a weekly basis.

LanguagesRussian speaking a plus, but not essential.Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/kid/1230741230.html________________________________________________________Special Thanks to: Cinder38, northjerseynanny, amy.blueeyes, Nana, JulieK1994, MissDee and mbargielski... all of you found some really great Ads this week! Please don't forget to include the URL in your Submission! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE.

#1 is 75 hours a week for $400, but when the new baby comes, it will probably be round the clock. And the horrible truth is, some poor desperate woman will take that job, and the employers will gripe about how lazy and incompetent she is.

Oh, I would jump at the house cleaner, office secretary, tutor, ballet teacher, piano coach chauffeur job with no set pay arrangement. I'm not thrilled about the "low calorie meals" planned by Auntie though.

#11. Now I know some cultures do eat snakes, but are they Halal?

I like the 14 year old's ad. I would hire him as a mother's helper, especially if I had active boys.

So, #1 considers her 2 year old "advanced" because he has just begun to feed himself a little bit?? And the nanny must be "sensitive" to the family's "together time" by...retreating to the 2 year old's room and sitting on her bed next to his, staring at the wall, watching the paint dry? If their house is so "spacious" and newly remodeled, why don't they have a nanny quarters available?

Well, in #1's defense, it is New York. It's my neighborhood actually, and those brownstone duplexes may go for a million, but they aren't that big. I suspect they plan on putting the nanny in the "sleeping alcove" that is now being occupied by one of the parents due to pregnancy...

However, let me just say that these people are insane to ask for that much time and so little money. How can their home be such a refuge if they are always working? Why don't they ever let their 2 year old play IN it?

#'s 30 and 32 need to have someone contact the DOL and inform them that they are trying HARD to break MANY laws by advertising for a 13 year old to work 60 hrs a wk for $1.50/hr! Or a 14 yr old to work 35 hrs a week for $2.66/hr?

And #2? Eww. I feel like I need to wash myself after reading that. Just...puke. Pond slime would be cleaner than that.

these "work 60 hours per week and live in my house for FREE!OMG!11!" ads are getting really old. dear employers: some things you think are a real "privilege" are not so much:-living with you (especially in your toddler's bedroom)-driving your (very expensive and thus anxiety-provoking because I'm sure you'd sue me in a heartbeat) Rolls Royce to take your kid to ballet-eating low-calorie meals (but of course they want a svelte nanny to set a "good example" for their daughter)

#29 is the dooziest of the doozies! $8/hour to cook, clean, prop pillows under "mamma's" knees, bring her ice water, grocery shop, scrub the toilets, do laundry, and PICK UP DOG POOP.... Oh, and BE A NANNY to three children!!!

I'm surprised that no one has yet mentioned #3. 10yo attending college and previously worked at a daycare? If you're 10 and attending college, shouldn't you be better educated and know proper english and grammar? LMAO!

$350 a month, in the employer's home, and the nanny is supposed to have a car and a cell phone on their own dime? And care for a newborn, to boot? Are they hoping for a nanny who is looking for someone else's place as the site of a criminal enterprise? One who turns tricks in between diaper changes? Or just one who's extremely math-challenged and has a sugar daddy?

I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if next week we see an ad for a live-in nanny proudly informing the would-be candidates that the employer will provide toilet facilities free of charge. It really irks me to read ads where people not only want to underpay a nanny, but they list things as perks which are in no way perks from the nanny's point of view.

The one where they wanted someone to prop mamma's pillows, pick up dog poo, etc. is actually not that bad if you look at how many hours they want a week: 5 to 10. They are not looking for someone to be a slave full time! They are looking for something like a postpartum doula.

That said, a good postpartum doula (who will, yes, do random household tasks and 'mother the mother') will typically run about $25 an hour, not $8-11...

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