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Useless Duck's office is too cold for him to type his responses to the reviews of his paper on supersymmetric string theory.

Useful Duck to will fix the heating post-haste.

("DonJuanjay")

"Who will help me sow the wheat, reap the wheat, mill the grain, knead the dough, and bake the bread?" asked Useful Duck."Not I!" said the secretary bird."Not I!" said the bonobo."Not I!" said the pangolin."Is that a 'good carb' or a 'bad carb'?" said Useless Duck.

(skrishna)

Useless Duck's team can build a four-story, four star hotel in five days!

Fortunately contractor Useless Duck can keep them employed on site at least two months

--- and that's without help from Useless Grebe, who issues permits and does insections for the city.

Useful Duck purchases fresh fruit and vegetables daily toward his daily goal to "strive for five".Useless Duck spent last week vomiting because he ate the questionable foodstuffs in the fridge after the blackout.