It’s a good time to be alive if you’re a fan of The Evil Dead. For instance, there’s an officially sanctioned Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn escape room coming this summer to Seattle (about three miles from where I’m currently escaping) and long hoped forEvil Dead trading cards. It’s like Christmas plus.

The Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn escape room costs $30 to get into and goes like this: “When players enter that all-too-familiar cabin in the woods, they will have until dawn (or sixty minutes, whichever comes first) to find the Kandarian dagger and destroy the Book of the Dead before the evil dead swallows their souls. Fans of the classic film can expect deadites, chainsaws, a very strange deer head, a chained-up cellar door, and plenty of horrifying surprises.” When I go I better wear Depends™.

Up next is The Evil Dead trading cards by Fright Rags. You can get ‘em as a single wax pack (nine cards and a sticker — $5.00), sealed box (two full sets of cards plus a pile of exclusive extras – $35.00) and the coveted factory box (the full 68 base card set and a few extras – $120.00). Time to dip into my 401k and do some impulse buying.

While you do the same, here are a few available now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not cause you to wear Depends™…

THE WANDERING EARTH (in theaters now/Netflix™/2019)
“When the sun dies out, the people of Earth build giant thrusters to move the planet out of orbit and sail to a new star system. After 2,500 years, young people continue the fight for everyone’s survival.”

Man, there’s a lot of e-chatter about this one on the Net. Apparently, the film hit box office gold in China with $603 million…in just two weeks! That’s more than I make in a month. And Netflix™ is betting big on this pony by making it available for the U.S. market. No set date for its premier on the world’s biggest movie streaming channel, but it’s having a limited run in theaters/theatres right now. (It’s on four screens in parts of the city that are too hard for me to get to without cursing out traffic jams in Chinese.) Sounds like The Wandering Earth, in all its epic-ness, should been seen on the big screen. Time to buy a bigger TV.

CHIMERA STRAIN (March 15, 2019)
“A scientist freezes his children alive while he races to cure their deadly genetic disease by decoding the DNA of the Turritopsis jellyfish.”

Okay, what?

THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL (March 29, 2019)
“A feature-length anthology film. They are known as myths, lore, and folktales. Created to give logic to mankind’s darkest fears, these stories laid the foundation for what we now know as the horror genre.”

Great title. Too bad its an anthology and not an instructional manual.

THE HAUNTING OF SHARON TATE (April 5, 2019)
“The film’s plot is supposedly inspired by a quote from the real Sharon Tate, from an interview published a year before her death, where she revealed ‘having a nightmare’ in which she saw a strange man in her house and then discovered herself and her friend Jay Sebring tied up with their throats cut open.”

You know Hollywood is strapped for ideas when they take a quote and turn it into a movie. I’m looking in your direction, Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000).