Each and every week, I, “Agent Mulder!” Henchman 21 and “Agent Scully!” Empress Eve read a lot of comics. Seriously you guys, a lot of comics. Maybe too many comics. I mean, it is possible… theoretically. Naturally, we look forward to some more than others. I mean, who doesn’t? So, let’s take a look into the depths of our pull lists, grab some comics, and we’ll let YOU know what the top books to look forward to are for the week of March 25, 2015. Single issues and trades, they’re all here.

Well, looks like it’s going to be a trade and graphic novel heavy list this week, as we looks at a stack of new books from Image, Marvel, Top Shelf, and maybe some others. Okay, and maybe I’ll throw in a few single issues just for fun. You never know what will happen on The GoD List!

Yeah, you read that correctly. Big Hard Sex Criminals, Volume 1 is the title of this particular literary work. And make no mistake, it’s all about sex and criminal activity. No, that’s not correct. It contains both of those, but it’s about far more than that. It’s about self discovery and growth, too. And not in the dirty ways, you pervert! If you want to know more (and you do), you’ll have to continue reading to see how I got down and dirty with this comic. I really can’t stop myself, I swear.

Those of you who stayed through the end of the credits for Marvel’s Guardians Of The Galaxy will recall getting a quick look at Howard The Duck, the Marvel comic book character who’s reputation was besmudged by George Lucas’s 1986 big-screen adaptation. But, it’s thanks to Howard’s brief post-credits appearance in Guardians that the talking duck has a chance to reinvent himself for a newer audience.

A new ongoing Howard The Duck comic book series from writer Chip Zdarsky and artist Joe Quinones is coming this March from Marvel Comics. The cover for Howard the Duck #1, by Joe Quinones, features the character as a private investigator on Earth, with a potted baby Groot along with other popular Marvel superheroes in the backdrop. Now, Quinones’ cover for Howard the Duck #2 has been revealed and it features Howard along with the Guardians of the Galaxy themselves doing a duck-face, selfie pose.

We’ve followed Jon and Suzie on their time-stopping sexcapades as they Robin Hooded their way through town to save the library Suzie works at. They’ve had a run in with the Sex Police – a vigilante group with the same clock-blocking powers as our protagonists. Now Jon and Suzie try to put their bank heist days behind them, but the Sex Police won’t back off. So how do you have a normal relationship when every time you diddle your bits, sex ninjas come looking for you?

Yes, I admit it: one of the best comics I’ve read this year is about magical orgasms. This week, Sex Criminals #3 (Image Comics – $3.50), written by Matt Fraction and illustrated by Chip Zdarsky, will be the first book I tear into the moment I get home from collecting my stash.