Tue, 16 Jun 2015 12:39:43 -0700WeeblyWed, 15 Oct 2014 07:57:49 GMThttp://freelyindpendnt.weebly.com/family-adventures/october-15th-a-day-of-remembranceSo as most of the smaller days of annual remembrance, today is one that passes by many people without recognition. For some, simply because they don't know any better; for others because it can be a hard day to acknowledge, and for some because they just don't know what to say or do when faced with it. This is the day set aside for people who have lost children too soon, be it to miscarriage, stillbirth, or any of the many ways to lose a child after birth.

The statistics are staggering. Approximately one out of every four women has suffered a loss of a pregnancy, or child. I am one of those four. I don't say this to gain sympathy, I say it to get your attention. If you aren't one of the four, chances are that if you look around to the women and families around you, you will see one.

This can be a hard topic to handle, as can any form of grief. I mean, what do you say to someone saying goodbye to a child? Do you recognize the death as that of a family member? Each family is different, and each person is different. I know for my husband and I it meant a lot to us to have our baby recognized as a child even though it was a very early pregnancy loss for us. We believe a child is a child at conception. I know there are those who argue that a child isn't a baby until it is born, but that is a discussion for another day.

Even in our family, it was obviously hard for some to try to talk to us about our loss. People were offstandish and awkward about it. That's not to say that they did anything wrong, just that they, like most haven't been taught how to handle that sort of conversation. When we included a memento picture I had made in our yearly family photo, I was met with questions. It seemed unusual to others that we would include this precious life in our shared memories.

To us, it was acknowledging the lost life was important, yet we struggled with deciding if we should because of how others might react. This is so wrong! This is why I am writing this now. Today is a day of remembrance, but also a day of awareness. Now I obviously can't speak for every woman everywhere, but I can say that I believe this is an issue that deserves our respect and understanding.

Thankfully, information is getting out there, but there is still more we can do. If you know someone grieving the loss of a child, offer reasons to get them out of the house. Let them speak if they need to, but in their time. If they need to cry, let them. If it takes time for them to process, and grieve, just be available. It needs to be safe for women and families to reach out to friends and family. It needs to be ok for them to grieve and move through that grief until they feel ready to move forward. You never forget, you never stop thinking about a loss. That tiny heart that once lived inside you stays even after birth. You never lose it, you feel that attachment for the rest of your life.

It doesn't matter how far along the pregnancy was, how many other children they may have, each and every life is precious. Every child, every bit of hope that comes from that positive pregnancy test. The immediate gush of love for a child born that never ends, even if their lives on this Earth do. It's a feeling no one can explain until they have experienced it.

G-d has since blessed us with a handsome, amazing little boy! I love him more than words can express, but I still remember every bit of the time I spent with one other little life inside of me. I still remember the terrible grief, and I still include that precious child's memory as a part of our family, because that's what our miracle is!

]]>Fri, 18 Jul 2014 02:45:30 GMThttp://freelyindpendnt.weebly.com/family-adventures/people-who-pay-to-go-in-circlesIt's true! Just this last weekend we did it again! Dear Hubby has started participating in triathlons to increase his fitness level. So as family should, we all pile in the car and drive to wherever the next one is, giving up time with him to spend time supporting him.

Now for those who may not know, a triathlon is a competition where you go a certain distance swimming, another distance on a bike and you finish by going on a run. Some are only a few miles total, and some go over 100 miles in one day. This was a smaller competition so the swim was only 400 meters, the bike 12 miles and the run 3.2 miles.

This was only the second time he has competed, and he has finished strong each time. We are all so proud of him and looking forward to his next one coming up soon :)