Here’s a tough one: Your son/brother/ sig nificant other hears voices and wanders off, hurting himself and others, when he’s off his meds. You can tell him one of two things:

1. “I love you so much, I’ll force you to down your medication and eat a decent meal.” Or,

2. “Try to make smart choices, babe. And if you kill someone, I’m outta here!”

Guess which choice some of the state’s top mental-health gurus picked.

A shocking video, posted on YouTube, has come my way. It’s from a state mental-health conference held at Columbia Law School on Nov. 20, a confab attended by state Mental Health Commissioner Michael Hogan.

In the video, the head of an agency that serves thousands of unstable folks, from upstate to Brooklyn, publicly invites his colleagues to violate the law — Kendra’s Law — that protects New Yorkers from crazy devils who walk among us.

Steve Miccio, executive director of PEOPLe Inc. (Projects to Empower and Organize the Psychiatrically Labeled) boasted that he let a dangerous man he was supposed to monitor roam homeless — for six months.

“What’s the risk?” Miccio asked. The group of mental-health types laughs appreciatively.

“Well, he could die,” Miccio said. “Well, that’s all right. That’s his choice. So what’s the risk?”

Wow.

After months on the street, he said, the man returned to his office for help. Through no fault of Miccio’s, the man was still alive.

The video enraged relatives of the mentally ill. And it angered folks who worked to pass Kendra’s Law, enacted 10 years ago in the memory of Kendra Webdale, who was murdered by being pushed in front of a subway train by an insane man.

The law forces the deranged to get help — with everything from taking medicine to having their finances controlled — or be hospitalized. But without legislative action, Kendra’s Law dies in June.

Miccio was ordered by a judge to control the money of the man of whom he spoke, doling out just enough for him to eat and pay rent. He didn’t.

Instead, Miccio bragged that he released the man’s funds in a lump, which he promptly squandered on drugs and drink. Why? Because “it’s his choice.”

That was scary to Lydia Padilla, who said without Kendra’s Law her brother “would be totally lost.”

“The law has worked beyond our expectations,” said DJ Jaffe, a board member of the Treatment Advocacy Center, who was not invited to the Columbia wingding.

“And now, here’s this guy saying, ‘Screw the courts.’ He could die? No! He could kill someone.”

But Miccio is not contrite. He told me that no one, no matter how sick, should be forced into treatment against his will. The answer, he said, is “education.” Miccio, by the way, says he’s bipolar — but takes no medication.

He admits he violated the judge’s order by letting the man go unsupervised.

“I’m an activist and an advocate, so I guess I’m supposed to do that sometime. Hey — the commissioner of New York state mental health was there [at his speech],” said Miccio, whose agency’s $1.7 million annual budget comes from the state.

Miccio would not name the guy he ignored. But he said the man had a criminal record — including at least one violent incident.

I reached out to Commissioner Hogan. He gave a statement supporting the renewal of Kendra’s Law, which he said “has resulted in better continuity of care for participants, as well as lower hospitalization rates, lower rates of incarceration and a reduction of already-low rates of violence.”

But while he said he attended Miccio’s speech, he had “no recollection” of his saying he’d broken the law.

Is everyone nuts?

Just shut up already, Joan

Memo to Joan Rivers: It’s not all about you.

The diva-esque TV perennial was barred from a flight from Costa Rica over the holidays after a vigilant guard noticed her passport, for some reason, carried two names — Joan Rivers and Joan Rosenberg, her married name.

Joan lashed back like a cat, calling the guard a “moron,” an “idiot” and “premenstrual” on “Larry King.”

Boo hoo. I think the plastic-surgery veteran was annoyed because the guard didn’t observe the celebrity battle cry of “Do you know who I am?!” I probably wouldn’t have recognized her, either.

Drug how-to will $mack recession

Talk about the insane taking over.

I’ve found something positive to say about the city-issued junkies’ guide — a step-by-step instructional pamphlet that teaches fledgling addicts how to get in touch with their inner Michael Jacksons. The booklet offers helpful hints for a successful fix, such as, “Warm your body (jump up and down) to show your veins.”

Skittish would-be junkies love it. The increasingly imbecilic Mayor Bloomberg defended it, saying, “Our Health Department does have an interest in if you’re going to do certain things to get you to do it as healthily as you possibly can.” Just avoid trans fats.

Well, I see another up side: This city cares so much about the sluggish economy, government goes out of its way to help budding drug abusers learn how to avoid wasting precious narcotics.

New York: You get more bang for your buck here.

Barack carter

As the presidency of Barack Obama sinks further into the muck of reality, I’m hearing the previously unthinkable said. People are comparing our ineffectual leader to that paragon of impotence — the worst president of the modern age — Jimmy Carter.

There were whispers of Carter-like vacillation as far back as the campaign, but wholesale comparisons didn’t raise their heads until May, with a piece on Forbes.com. Now, all bets are off. Obama was so paralyzed, or bored, by the idea of foreign hatred, he took three days to get out of his Hawaii vacation rabbit hole and make a hurried statement about the crotch bomber who wrecked Christmas.

The latest comparison to Carter ineptitude comes from historian Walter Mead in Foreign Policy magazine. Lest you think conservatives have cornered the criticism, even the loyal, lefty New York Times is taking subtle pot shots at our leader.

Cheer up, Mr. President. There are worse people to be compared to than Carter, although I can’t think of any.

Life sucks (so back to work)

Americans don’t like to work. This is a surprise?

A new study (how do I get a job making studies?) reveals that more workers now say professional life stinks. Just 45 percent say they’re “happy.”

We all should be celebrity sloths like Paris Hilton. Or one of Tiger’s well-paid bimbos.