Lifetime continues its mission to eliminate “women in peril” programming

Lifetime Television recently announced its summer programming line-up and as far as I can tell, no one is going to marry the man of her dreams, only to find out he’s a psycho, have a child kidnapped right out from under her nose, or fall down while being chased through the woods.

Instead, Lifetime president and GM, Nancy Dubuc, plans on showcasing more female characters who are “brazen, strong, confident and sexy,” in a conscious effort to undo that annoying “women in peril” stereotype that once plagued the channel.

Here are some new shows Dubuc and her crew hope you’ll enjoy:

Roseanne’s Nuts

Love the title! Follow Roseanne Barr as she makes a go of — wait for it — a macadamia nut farm in Hawaii. “They’ve said ‘Roseanne’s nuts’ for years, and now I’m going to make that a reality,” Barr said, “I’m all about nuts now, macadamia nuts.”

Russian Dolls

Mya Erlikh, 22, one of many locals who auditioned for the show

A revamped version of Brighton Beach, named after the Russian enclave in Coney Island, NY. Think Real Housewives meets Jersey Shore with multiple generations and the Cyclone, a world-famous roller coaster that gave my girlfriend whiplash.

Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story

Montgomery on location in Vancouver

Poppy Montgomery stars as the rags-to-riches author in this unauthorized biopic, which follows Rowling’s journey leading up to the creation of the juggernaut known as Harry Potter. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

In other news, Project Runway schätzchen and former supermodel Heidi Klum is to going pose nude (whoa!) to promote Runway, Season 9, which premieres Wednesday, July 27. Why? Why not.

I guess this is all part of their new brazen, strong, confident, sexy theme. Besides, as Dubuc points out, “It’s Heidi f–king Klum.” The President has spoken.

Are you liking the direction Lifetime is taking? I am, but I do miss movies with titles like, “My Deadly Sister Stole My Baby Lover’s Murderer: The True Story of Pamela Hillary Winona Natalie Baxter Birney.”