‘This is Where They’ll Say It All Began,’ Thinks Freshman in Chem 130

THE PATH TO SUCCESS—During his professor’s rushed, twenty-minute overview of the Chemistry 130 syllabus and attendance procedures, freshman Ben Brady was reported to have been consistently taking notes, nodding vigorously, and aiming to make eye contact with his pre-assigned GSI. Upon dismissal, Brady closed his notebook, thanked the professor, and exited the Chemistry building at a brisk pace. According to sources, the first-semester freshman then turned his face toward the sunlight and thought to himself, “This is where they’ll say it all began.”

Following his departure from the Chemistry building, Brady was seen walking through the Diag, smiling and nodding at passerby. Witnesses report overhearing a phone conversation in which Brady said, “I feel like the doors are finally open for me,” “This is a place where I will really thrive,” and “I’ll call again, maybe on Thursday, but don’t count on it because I sure will be busy!” Brady then entered the Hatcher Library’s Reference Room, where he reportedly gazed thoughtfully at the frescos before turning to study the same syllabus that had been discussed at length in his Chemistry 130 lecture, just ten minutes prior.

According to a source, Brady sent out a text message that evening indicating that he “wouldn’t make it to the dining hall for dinner that night, but accomplishment is all about sacrifice!” At approximately 10:00 PM, Brady returned to his dorm room in South Quad, which he shares with fellow freshman honors student Diego Paul. Though Brady regularly finds his roommate to be an annoyance, he imagines that in the cinematic portrayal of his rise to success, the dynamics between his character and his roommate’s character will provide some comic relief.