In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this general purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!

Signed Jane

Answer

Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception.

Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.

Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time "favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0.

However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support".

You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.

Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flo wers/Chocolates 7.8. TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature.

Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete.

Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in the coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product! Sincerely,

I'm thinking about going back toGirlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall 'doesn'twork on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very commonproblem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade fromGirlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it isjust a Utilities andEntertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATINGSYSTEM andisdesigned by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!!

It is also impossibleto delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It isimpossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from thesystemonceinstalled.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 becauseWife 1.0 is designed not toallow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manualunder Warnings-Alimony- ChildSupport)..

I recommend thatyou keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggestinstalling the background application " Yes Dear" to alleviatesoftwareaugmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the commandC:\APOLOGIZE becauseultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZEcommand before thesystem willreturn to normal anyway.

Wife1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.Wife1.0comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5 , Sweep3.0,Cook 1.5and DoLaundry 4.2 . However, be very careful how youuse these programs.Improper use will cause the system to launch theprogram NagNag 9.5 .

Once this happens, the only way to improve theperformance of Wife 1.0is topurchase additional software. Irecommend Electronics 2.1 andJewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING :DO NOT, under any circumstances, installSecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3.This application is not supported by Wife1.0 andwill causeirreversible damage to the operating system.

Sometimes we want to access our Windows workstations remotely to be able to see our data. If the workstation is connected to the Internet, doing such is relatively easy in Windows XP with Remote Desktop. Just hit "run" and type "mstsc". Type the ip address and some credentials, and you're done. However, some Internet service providers assign you with a private IP address (e.g. 192.168.0.24). This cannot be seen over the Internet and thus, doesn't allow you to connect to your remote workstation. There is a workaround for this for those who don't know yet. Hamachi is a windows application that allows connectivity through a Virtual Private Network. It's like having your own Local Area Network over the Internet. It's virtually zero configuration so it's relatively easy to use. Click here to download. Once you've installed it, you will be assigned an IP address. You can then create your own network of trusted workstations, from which you add your remote workstation. From here, you can access your remote workstation through the ip address assigned to it by Hamachi, through the same process using remote desktop.

What if IT people can have their own private network over the Internet? What if we can have our very own static IP address without having a subscription to Internet Service Providers? What if we can create our own Hamachi without having a central server? Just let the network reside over the network. What if the Internet fully becomes another autonomous world free from the rules within our own countries? What if I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN?