It’s Bachelor Bashing Monday! Time to look at last weeks episode before tonight’s new episode. That is, if you want to watch the new episode tonight at 8pm.

I have been very consistent about bashing this seasons Bachelor, Ben Flajnik. He does absolutely nothing for me (and many others I have noticed) and as you all know, I cannot suffice his hair. Lately, I would have to add to his ablutions and ask that he shaves once in a while. His untrendy patchy stubble looks like a re-attempt at puberty. But, and there is a big “but” this week, I have now been put into a position to praise him. Yup. That is what I must do. I have finally witnessed that beyond the hair and the prepubescent patchy grape fuzz (had to use grape instead of peach as he owns a vineyard), the guy has a connoisseur’s choice of (drumroll)…rides.

Last Mondays episode starts with our Mr Ben driving the streets of Panama in a slick black Jeep Wrangler TJ, complete with snorkel and winch. We all know I have a thing for jeeps and do I dare say, guys in jeeps are a sweet macho sight to behold. For the first time this season, Mr Ben actually looked manly for 30 seconds on-screen. But as quickly as my heart raced for 30 seconds watching Mr Ben in the Jeep Wrangler, my raised blood pressure was extinguished the minute he exited this four-wheel black beauty.

The only thing that is going to make this year’s Bachelor an iota attractive to toplessdriver and the audience is if he just stays in the Jeep Wrangler for the rest of the season. Bring the ABC stylists on board the TJ; cut, shave and pluck those eyebrows, send a date card informing all girls that ALL future dates will be in the Jeep. Courtney, Mr Ben, the Jeep can all continue to be topless together because all three of them can skinny dip because this Jeep Wrangler comes with a snorkel! (crowd says “aaaaahhhhhhhh”). It may be the only strategy to love for this Bachelor if he wants to ride off into the sunset at the end of the season.

(But then again, if he fails in his romantic mission, keep the jeep. It is a far better love affair for you and will come in handy at the vineyard).