Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Waiting for Godot to Call

Waiting for Godot to Call

After our long winter here on the farm, we had a short
spring, which means that everyone is behind on the fieldwork.This, in turn, means long days in the field,
running the equipment, trying to get the work done.Most days it seems pointless to envision a
time of leisure or even a time of less stress.One day I witnessed a neighbor pulling some equipment out of a mud hole
for the second time in the span of a few hours, and I texted him, saying the
stress level is pretty high this spring.His response was “at this point, mere stress would feel like a
vacation.”It seems to be our lot to
toil sun up to sun down, and one of the side effects of spending those long
days alone is the problem of over thinking.What I thought about, too much I’m sure, is the story of Sisyphus.He was the one who, according to Greek
mythology, was sentenced by the gods to the underworld, and his punishment was
to roll a boulder up a hill until it got too steep, at which point the rock
would roll back down the hill.Then he
started over again, with the same result, day after day, week after week, year
after year.Farming seems a lot like
that sometimes. We kill the weeds, and
they grow back.We plant the crop,
harvest it, and then plant again.Pick rock, and more rocks work their way to the surface.Every
task is repeated over and over, year after year.Like
Sisyphus, every morning we start again, knowing that tomorrow we will start
again.

Edwards Family Rockpile 1911--2018

The story of Sisyphus enjoyed a resurgence in
popularity in 1942 when the philosopher Albert Camus wrote an essay called “The
Myth of Sisyphus.” Camus was a rock star
in France and among the culturally elite in the 1940’s and 50’s and can be
credited as the leading proponent of a school of thought called
“Absurdism.” The Absurd refers to the
conflict between man’s desire to find meaning in life, and the realization that
there is no meaning. Camus promoted the
idea that even though we know that anything we do is pointless, we should try
anyway. For him, Sisyphus was a hero—he
tried to push that rock to the top of the hill knowing he would fail, and yet
he did it anyway, again and again. And
that is how farmers feel sometimes. Most
farmers do not spend their life working in order to achieve a payday, or
accolades, or that vacation to a seaside resort. While our ultimate goal is to feed the world,
many days it feels like the meaning of life is to simply work to get the work
done. And it never gets done. Camus concluded his essay with these
words: “The struggle itself….is enough
to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine
Sisyphus happy".

The Threshers -- digital painting of family snapshot

The photo at the top of the page, “Waiting for Godot to Call”
is in reference to the Samuel Beckett play “Waiting for Godot”, which is the
most famous Absurdist play ever written and was required reading when I went to
school. As a teenager, trying to
understand the play made me feel like Sisyphus, and the process of getting
through it was itself an exercise in absurdity.
But as an adult, and as a farmer, it has a lot more appeal for me. If you haven’t read it or seen it, the play
is about a group of guys standing on a country road waiting for another guy, named
Godot, to show up. And he never does. So what’s the meaning of the play? The Absurdist perspective is that there is no
meaning other than to sit through it and enjoy the struggle of trying to apply
meaning. The larger view is that the
play prompts us to examine our lives and find our “meaning of life.” What is the meaning of life? Every year, hundreds of books are written on
this topic, and thousands more are waiting to be written. But I feel that the meaning of life can be
found in our purpose. If you can find
your purpose, then you find meaning. And
I think that for nearly everyone, finding their purpose results in
happiness. But purpose has to find you
to be authentic. Purpose is born out of
passion. Our purpose is to defend and
promote that which we are most passionate about. For myself and many others, that passion is
rooted in faith and family. Others may
have other passions, other purposes, for good or ill. Purposes shift, I think, as we mature, and as our
situations change. But there is joy in authentic purpose. Maybe not the sort of joy that has us dancing
in our underwear—perhaps it represents itself as getting up every morning to
toil in the fields, day after day.

Prairie Storm

Here in Northcentral Montana, in this region known as Lonesome Prairie, we exist in relative isolation. At times we are nourished by the beauty of the wide-open spaces. Other times, we are fending for ourselves against a harsh, uncaring environment. We feel the weight of previous generations—the weight to succeed as they succeeded—to persevere as they persevered. The pressures that society feels—social, political, financial—are all there, but with the added pressure of having no control over the weather, which is critical to our success as growers. We strive to work with the land as if in some sort of partnership, but in reality, we are not separate from the landscape. We are as much a part of it as a rock in the field, or the antelope wandering the prairie. In the solitude of this agrarian wilderness, there is joy in looking out over a sea of wheat and watching it turn golden as the harvest time approaches. We feel in our bones the year of labor that went into the crop, and we acknowledge the possibility of it all being gone with one severe storm. We know that we see it as our fathers did, and their fathers before them. We are home. We are Sisyphus, waiting for Godot.

Golden Grain

What started me down this thought path was a
photograph I took—the one at the top of the page. I feel very fortunate to have had the
opportunity to be a photographer for most of my life. For years I was involved in commercial photography,
photographing weddings, families, and high school seniors. For the past 10 years, I have focused on
non-commercial Fine Art photography, attempting to represent the passion I have
for this this region of Montana. That
creative process brings me joy. The day
I photographed “Waiting for Godot to Call” I had the pleasure to be in the
company of two other photographers who share that passion. Dennis Dorr is one of the finest outdoor
photographers in the state (check out his work at his Facebook page) and
Cathy Anderson is one of this country’s premiere action portrait photographers. Her personal work can be seen at www.cathyandersonphotography.com.

I’ve known Dennis a long time, and Cathy was a speaker at
the conference we were all at: the annual convention of the Montana
Professional Photographers Association.By the way, I did very well in print competition at the convention, and
the image that received the most awards for me is being offered at a special
price for a limited time.If you’re
interested in hanging "Harvest Squaredance" in your home, or giving this print as a gift, head over to the “what’s new” page of my website and check that
out.Here’s the direct link:https://www.edwardsstudio.com/whatsnew