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Sunday, February 1, 2015

"Oh, Kaye!" Chats About Women. The Good and the Horrid.

All in all, I think I'm a pretty positive person.I'm pretty happy with my life, most times. We all, of course, have those times that are trying, or sad, or just damned hard. We all handle those times differently, as we should. We own them and they're ours to do with what we can.But. If you know me, you also know I get angry and tend to speak my mind about the things that I see as injustices. There's a lot of things happening in this world of ours that makes me sad, angry, frustrated and, honestly, bewildered.Things I once believed to be fundamental rights and tenets that are being, I believe, attacked by corrupt factions of society who do not have our country's best interests at heart.They're some of the same things that are bothering many of you.The destruction of our planet is one, but probably best I not get into most of the other things here because I'll go into a rant, my head will explode and I will surely ruffle feathers. Then I might lose my monthly gig here at Jungle Red and I'd be sad.So.Because I do feel a need to rant (do you this it might be this long winter getting to me?!?), I'm going to have to just go with it.It's not a major world-changing/political/religious/human or animal rights kinda rant, although admittedly, I do tend to rant about those things, and I think they are absolutely rant-worthy. I try to keep those particular posts at Meanderings and Muses (and yes, Facebook. Guilty as charged). And I can only hope I will continue, for as long as I am able, to speak out about the things I feel strongly about. Even if my voice shakes. Because I believe, in my heart of hearts, what Einstein said, “The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.”No, this particular rant is one that's more of a personal right-here-in-my-pocket kinda rant. One that's important to me.During her keynote speech at the "Celebrating Inspiration" luncheon with the WNBA's All-Decade Team in 2006, Madeleine Albright said:

“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."

It struck a chord with women.

It certainly struck a chord with this woman.It's a sentiment I try to live. Something I believe in. Something I love, admire and respect in other women who also embrace this attitude in their life's creed.

However.

Being the pragmatic, mouthy, prickly, outspoken soul that I am, I also believe the statement contains an unspoken caveat.

And that is - not all women deserve our help.

I'm sorry if this offends some of you, truly, I am.

But here's a fact as I know it.

Mean girls we knew growing up, oftentimes have grown up to be mean women.

Mean, competitive in a not so nice way, manipulative, and the scariest thing of all, is when they're capable of hiding these things behind a kind exterior with charm and phony grace wrapped firmly around their own agenda.

You know them. Or, if you don't, God has blessed you because you are one lucky, lucky soul.

They're usually quite good (although not always as good as they believe themselves to be) at something. And, bless their hearts, that something has become so important to them that they cannot stand for someone else to do that something as well as they can. They profess their support, only to slyly undermine your efforts behind your back. This is, of course, rooted in insecurities so deep that it's sad, really. And to be pitied, I suppose. I revel in the fact that because mean sly souls aren't as smart as they give themselves credit for and because true nature will always show itself, they're eventually found out.

I know, I know. I sound cranky, paranoid and pretty insecure myself. Having been burned, however, my radar is now extremely accurately and finely tuned. NASA's engineers and scientists have nothing on me when it comes to this well tuned radar of mine, I promise. Because I have been burned, and because I know others have, people I care about, here's a promise I've made to myself -

To the Polyanna self that resides in my soul.

I will cast aside the mean girls who grew into mean women.

I will rejoice in the women who are strong enough to support other women who are deserving. I am thankful every single day that I have always had more of these in my life than the other.

I will remember that these women are a blessing to be celebrated. Their numbers are many, may they multiply. May they teach us, so that we may in turn teach others. May we embrace one another's differences and praise one another's talents in their uniqueness.

And let me, please, remember who they are - the good and the bad - so that I may praise the good, be one of their number, speak out on their behalf, and speak out against those who are not.And help me, please, be one of those who will continue doing what she can to support and help those who need it and deserve it.

Dear Reds, I wish you all well. Always. It's lovely beyond words to be a part of this group where everyone so generously supports everyone.

Any of you have women they would like to praise, or a mean girl/woman story they feel like sharing? Let 'er rip.

2 comments:

Oh Kaye, I'm so sorry if you'very had a recent Mean Girls experience. Those stink. I keep hoping it's something we will all outgrow, but no luck so far.

I'm a mom to two little young ones and I've found that moms can be very cliquey and I've never fit in. No out and out misbehavior, but there always am to be two or three in every group that have social conversations right in front of me without pausing or even acknowledge to say hello. I think it's so rude, but I've decided I don't really want to spend time and effort trying to get rude people to like me! I stay polite and say hello (without interrupting) and I do my best to stay in close touch to old friends (with and without kids). My littlest and last is going to full time school next year and this mom can't wait to expand her social circle.

Oh Kaye, I'm so sorry if you'very had a recent Mean Girls experience. Those stink. I keep hoping it's something we will all outgrow, but no luck so far.

I'm a mom to two little young ones and I've found that moms can be very cliquey and I've never fit in. No out and out misbehavior, but there always am to be two or three in every group that have social conversations right in front of me without pausing or even acknowledge to say hello. I think it's so rude, but I've decided I don't really want to spend time and effort trying to get rude people to like me! I stay polite and say hello (without interrupting) and I do my best to stay in close touch to old friends (with and without kids). My littlest and last is going to full time school next year and this mom can't wait to expand her social circle.

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