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oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people?

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

As has already been explained to you, profiles are not deleted. But then you probably didn't read that, either.

Why the need for all the fanfare? If you can't stand it here, just scram already.

But I do believe it would be better for you if you'd just do as advised and chill.

PS: I know why you were there (reading the rules). If you take the time to read the rules for "I Just Tested Poz", you'd also see the senselessness in the snarky comment you made about that forum as well.

oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people?

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

As a LTS (and I don't speak for all LTS) the first thing you need to dodge the coffin is a sense of humor.

Yea so all this confusion is just too much for me! I guess I'm only allowed to post in "Living with HIV" and I suppose in "positive women" as I am a female. Should I stay out of "I just tested poz" since its been what, 3 months since I was diagnosed? I think its a little crazy that I should have to worry about "OMG did I put that in the right place?" or "Oh damn am I allowed to talk to that person?" when I want or better yet, when I NEED to talk to someone, ask questions, talk with someone that knows the road I will face later on, especially when I need meds, etc. I have enough on my plate thank you.

And to think that I have told my children, the only ones that I have disclosed to, to come here if they ever have any questions or concerns about ME. Scratch that, they won't come here. I won't have them coming here and be rudely talked to if they screw up and put their post somewhere where it does not belong! Especially by someone that had NO RIGHT to tell me to stay out of anywhere. That should have been left up to the "chosen ones".

Matt - You have something sarcastic to say to just about everyone here. You even put down long term survivors. Wow won't you be one someday? you hope? Thank God you are not a "chosen one". If you were the first person that I talked to after being diagnosed, with all your smart ass comments, I'm sure suicide would have crossed my mind! You are rude, you are an asshole!

So worrying about where I post on a forum is too much! I will get my answers some place where it will be more compassionate and a little more lifting.

Pretty, I am sorry that you find yourself so unhappy with the site and the members in such a short time. Perhaps you will change your mind about hanging around here. There is real support and useful information to be had.

However, I will also tell you that calling someone an a*****e or any other names is absolutely unacceptable here. If you feel someone has spoken out of turn or improperly to you all you have to do is to report it to the Moderators and we will address the issue. But that namecalling or flaming must not happen again.

Although many others have found this to be a useful and welcoming site, perhaps for whatever reasons it's just not for you. If you decide not to continue here I will just wish you well in finding the support and help that you need.

oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people?

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

Matty was only doing his job and doing it like Matty . I try and see things this way , if you let people be who they are maybe just maybe they will let you be yourself too .

Matty will be there with his honest opinion if you ever need it and that's a lot to offfer on any internet forum .

Profiles are not deleted. Kinda like HIV, once you have it...you can't get rid of it, YET!!!! Chill, breathe, relax a minute. Walk away and come back. It's really not worth the stress and you are in a pissing match you cannot win.

FYI, I posted in both the Am I and LTS forums without reading the stickies like I should have. Yes, I immediately took offense the first time and then was like DUH, guess I should have read it. We all make mistakes but what is here is very, very human. Painful, funny, maddening, informative, stupid and sometimes even enjoyable! Stick around...

« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 04:53:12 PM by drewm »

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Diagnosed in May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

TRIUMEQ - VALTREX - FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE - PRAVASTATIN - CIALIS

Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

I was not even going to post in this thread but I would hate to see you split because of taking some responses the wrong way. We are all real folks here and at times messages may be curt. Thats life!

Our virtual family here does offer support, understanding, and compassion. We kid around with each other and interject humor from time to time as well. Please dont turn your back on the wealth of experience that exists here because you got your feelings hurt. Plain and simple, you are welcome here and I for one didn't look when I posted twice in a forum where I should not have. No sweat, it was a very small 'oops' compared to things that really matter in life.

Pretty, I am going to ask you to take a break from here for a couple of days and then please come back. I have been with these forums since 2002 and you will never find a finer group of people, bar none. We bitch and we moan, because we accept each other, warts and all. We are one huge extended family and sometimes families fight, that just goes with the territory. Being a family also means these folks will have your back, no matter what challenges you may face. They are not fair weather friends, they are here for the long haul and they are invested in our shared lives and therein lies the true power of these forums.

While not everyone posts in a fashion that we may prefer, make no mistake that the folks here do really care, if only you will give us the opportunity to show you. Yes your feelings were hurt, however that was unintentional and you did violate a rule of the forum. My hope is that can see past the abrasive language and gallows humor and discover the world of support that awaits you here. If you choose to stay, I guarantee that you will never be sorry.

Pretty, I'm sorry you have found this site to be an unhappy place for you so far. It's not without its challenging aspects, but if you can get past that I think you would find some informative and helpful support.

I also have to tell you that if you get mad at someone whom you feel has spoken inappropriately to you, you cannot respond by calling them names as you have with Matty. You need to report it to the Moderators and let us handle the problem.

We don't delete profiles. If you finally decide you don't want to participate on the site, just stop posting. We do not delete profiles because that would make nonsense of any thread in which you have posted.

However, I do hope you will take some time to reconsider and see if perhaps there is some good you can find here. If you decide not to do that I will just wish you well in finding elsewhere the support and information which you want.

Sorry that you're feeling like you need to leave, over all of this. However, I do not understand why you are so upset about having to follow The Rules. The reality is that you need to follow The Rules regardless of your HIV status, be they here on the forums or elsewhere in the world. Period.

This is especially true when you are HIV positive. After all,The Rules for survival are pretty strict, what with the meds, doctors visits, tests, bloodwork, etc. If you find that following a few simple rules ona website difficult, then this virus that you, as well as the rest of us have, will make short work of you, From here on out, The Rules are what are going to keep you alive, it's best not to lose sight of that, now or ever.

Yes there are rude people here, as there are in the rest of the world. You don't drop out of life just because you got your feelings hurt, do you? Don't do it here either. You'll make your friendships, here, learn new things, and find ways of coping with the fistful of shit life has doled out to you. You can read any Forum you like, and post in most of them as well. Just remember to follow The Rules....

And yes, Auntie Doxie is right, the first thing you need to dodge the coffin is a sense of humor....

Can someone help me with this? I've searched for the thread, but cannot find it. About a month ago or so, someone poz for about 3 months posted in Living. They were told since they were newly poz, they should post in I just tested poz. This causes so much confusion. I felt that person should definitely be able to post in Living. It just seemed so unnecessary to basically say, "you're not poz long enough yet."

I believe a partner, sibling, or parent should be able to post in Living. Let's throw in best friend, too. I could see where there could be issues with someone who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone poz who started posting there. I don't want to see a total ban. I think the moderators could deal with someone who was just coming to Living and not really adding anything or if they were causing trouble. When I think about my partner, he may not have the virus, but he is living with HIV. He is affected by everything HIV does. He has been affected by having to take leave from work and his duties as a volunteer firefighter. Comforting me when I don't feel good physically or mentally, discussions on when is best to start meds and whether I have a good doc, safe sex, and disclosure issues. He has to lie, because I'm not ready to disclose. If I should get sick, I would hope he could come and ask for advice, if he needed it. From what other's have said, Someone I care about is full of tumbleweeds. If he posted there, I'm not sure anyone would see it--especially if he needed urgent advice or to vent. I've seen a marked difference in his mental well-being, so HIV has had almost as big an impact on him as it has me--even if I sometimes get angry and tell him he doesn't have HIV or knows what it feels like, when he gets frustrated with me for not feeling like doing stuff around the house.

MODIFIED:

Nevermind. I found the post. The person just found out they had AIDS and it was moved to "I Just Tested Poz". I mean, they did just test poz technically. I just thought it was unnecessary to move it there. But, I'm often wrong. By the way, what's up with the new layout in this post? It says newforums. I pray this isn't the new look that is coming, because it is hard to read with all the dark blue.

Can someone help me with this? I've searched for the thread, but cannot find it. About a month ago or so, someone poz for about 3 months posted in Living. They were told since they were newly poz, they should post in I just tested poz. This causes so much confusion. I felt that person should definitely be able to post in Living. It just seemed so unnecessary to basically say, "you're not poz long enough yet."

I find it hard to believe anyone was told that -- that's simply never been the case here and you've been on the board long enough to know that.

I find it hard to believe anyone was told that -- that's simply never been the case here and you've been on the board long enough to know that.

You must have posted this as I was posting my modification. I found the post. The person was just dx'd with AIDS, so I had the part about being dx'd for 3 months wrong. Although, if the person had AIDS, they had been living with HIV for some time. I said that technically they did fit the "I just tested Poz" criteria. But, still found it unnecessary to move it. But, it seems to person got good advice anyway.

Modified:

I shouldn't have used quotations to describe what I felt it sounded like, because it appeared to make it look like a direct quote. It was not a direct quote.

Maybe the AIDSmeds Uniformity Act will come out soon. I dont even read the LTS, or Women's forums posts unless its an accidental click on a link at the bottom of the main page. Perhaps there is information there that would be enlightening but personally I figure its best to just stay out. I get the HIV related information/support I need from members (some LTS folks included) posting in 'Living With'.

Too bad user ids dont come with data level entitlement. Permissions to view/post would be attached to the user id keeping unauthorized viewing and posting in check. That would free up some time for the moderators too. In the meantime, I will play by the rules... no biggie for me.

oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people?

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

MtD needs no defense from me, though he knows I support him unconditionally. There's a very good reason for that.

I joined AM in 2005, shortly after I ended a toxic, nearly 10 year relationship. Though I was infected in 1984 and went through the mill of living with HIV, from ACT-UP to peer counselor to group member (and occasional facilitator), I was guilt-obsessed and, in so many ways broken. I came here on the pretext of looking for info, but stayed because of the unique sense of community found here. There were many, many wonderful posters, but I found myself most drawn to the the wisdom and caustic humor displayed by Matty, and within weeks we were thick as thieves; we even started a blog together which, for a few years, caused quite a stir here and elsewhere.

To the extent that I function and thrive at all, I owe it to his undying devotion and, yes, compassion. I am certain that without him I'd have not survived 2006, when suicide really seemed my only alternative. I owe him my life.

The Balkanization of AM is, decidedly, a mixed blessing. I remember when the Women’s Forum was created as a “safe place”. Though I never saw AM in general as anything other than “safe” (to the extent that any open forum on the internet is “safe”), I realized that, not being a woman, I was in no position to decide whether or not having a special forum dedicated to their issues was “warranted”: attempting to do so would be unspeakably arrogant.

I have created exactly one thread in LTS (that I can remember) which related specifically to how HIV causes one’s body to age prematurely. I posted it there because I really didn’t want to have to hand-hold every n00b looking for some qualifier that might exclude him/her from the reality of living 27 years with the virus by the terms I do so, with whatever degree of success I achieve.

Last I checked, I was still entitled to post in AII, though I choose not to. I haven’t even opened that forum on my browser is well over a year. Aside from the rejection drama of feeling excluded, I really don’t get the beef about requiring authorization to participate there. It’s a thankless, relentless job with much responsibility and few (if any) rewards. Once you’ve begun counseling someone in one of those threads, you’re morally obliged to continue through the end: it’s not for the casual poster nor for the faint of heart or those easily irritated. It’s a serious commitment.

The further subdivisions into Newly Infected and Someone I Know make little sense to me, but they were created after my major participation here waned, so the rationale behind their having been started remains unclear to me. Undoubtedly they were started for a good reason at the time, and the powers that be must still find them useful or else they’d have been folded back into Living With by now.

Two last observations: what, exactly, do PMs have to do with the OP? And, in general, swan dives really suck, especially when the pool's empty.

Logged

Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Sing the song, my dear (though horribly neglected) friend. Seems that once upon a time I performed a similar function for at least one other member here as well.

Caustic wit and gallows humor be damned as they are a required survival skill learned on the fly: survival ain't for wimps or pansies. Get your collective wits or just let go: the choice is entirely yours (generically, not specifically the Skeeb's or anyone else). I learned it as have so many others. And not all the cinematic bathos need be rent in public and at large: IM exists for a good reason, Skype is merely an advance on the concept (though the headsets are cumbersome and sweaty).

Relationships made here are not subject to random fluxes in moods or medications. We can pick up at most any point and, as long as no grave injustice has been perpetrated, be continued as if no intervening clockwork has occurred. We may grow and evolve, but the core of what makes us us changes very little.

Anyone who finds MtD anything but an uplifting presence in his/her life is in serious need of a humor transplant. I'd offer myself as a donor, but have precious little to spare.

Logged

Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Sing the song, my dear (though horribly neglected) friend. Seems that once upon a time I performed a similar function for at least one other member here as well.

And here I thought you forgot me--you, in an art studio on Las Olas, and me staring at a wall in despair. I remember it all to well. Matty also helped me from the ledge at the time, hence my comment “The Ledge Whisperer”.

"Hello Fellas. Excuse me young man. Yes, you. Can you do me a favor and reach the top shelf and hand me a pack of Quick Quips and Matching Clever Snaps? I 'm not as agile as I used to be. Thanks so much."

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"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

I do have some strange fascination with MtD and some of it is sexual. I fantasize about him from time to time as I browse his clever commentary and occasional innuendo.

Girl, and you don't even know what a handsome fucker he is --or heard his voice and that lovely accent. If ya did I bet your panties would be truly wet.

Logged

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

No offense directed at any of the above posters, but as Paddle Master of the local skeezy leather dive in FtL, and also as someone who flags red left nightly at work, any truly serious inquiries can be forwarded via PM for further consideration.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts