Twice your salary saved by 35? Does any part of that sentence make sense to anyone? Retirement? What is that? We've heard of it, but we thought it was just one of those myths that people talk about but can't really be proven. Truthfully, we are skeptical. Below, you can find 17 examples of what it's really like to be 35 that seem much more realistic.

1.

By age 35 you should have an entire cabinet filled with Tupperware containers. That don’t match. Just a bunch of random bottoms and tops that come cascading out on you every time you open the door.

If by "your salary" they mean "the money you earned the first year you had a part-time job", then yippy-ya-yay, I reached my goal. Congratulation to all of you who did the same and I wish us all a happy two years of retirement before we spend it all and go back to work.

These are great! By 35, you’ll want to choke the shit out of your college-application-essay-writing self for being an annoying twat who set you up to feel like a failure. Sure, you didn’t reach the unrealistic goals that asshole told the world you would, but you can reflect on your unexpected superpowers, like loaning out power tools and purchasing insurances — many, many insurances — and never making claims on them.

If by "your salary" they mean "the money you earned the first year you had a part-time job", then yippy-ya-yay, I reached my goal. Congratulation to all of you who did the same and I wish us all a happy two years of retirement before we spend it all and go back to work.

By age 35, you should have at least 10 monthly bills to pay in a timely manner, all with money you make at a low-wage job and the money your partner makes at a job that, when it gives raises, hikes up insurance costs so that raises don't even matter.

Seriously, double the salary by age 35? These days, you're lucky if you're living on your own and able to pay rent/mortgage. Actually saving money? What a laugh.

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