January 15, 2007

Hey, watch the Golden Globes with me! Comment away. I'll be adding to this post, with each update indicated by a number.

1. And they start right up with no preliminaries and -- even nicer -- they give the first two awards to two of my favorite people: Jennifer Hudson and Prince. Hudson, who wins Best Supporting Actress for "Dreamgirls" and accepts the prize from the lovely George Clooney, says thanks for making her "feel like an actress." Prince, who wins for some song in "Happy Feet," is not there, and Justin Timberlake, who for a long time seems not to know what to do, finally accepts the award for him, and, to do it, he does a deep knee bend to get down to a 5'1" height and symbolize the tiny purple genius.

2. Jeremy Irons has big bags under his eyes and is dressed in a strange but elegant suit that seems to come from the 19th century. He wins in some TV Supporting category. Next comes TV Dramatic Actress. Kyra Sedgwick. Her dress seems to come from ancient Greece.

3. Emily Blunt. Never heard of her... Best TV Dramatic Actor: Hugh Laurie... "Cars" wins for animation.... Wow, we're up to Best Actress, and with very little fanfare, we hear it's Meryl Streep. Oh, it's just Best Actress in the Musical/Comedy. Meryl also seems to be wearing a dress from ancient Greece. She says "I think I've worked with everybody in the room" in an affected voice that seems intended to impersonate an actress from the past that I can almost remember. I'm wracking my brain and rewinding the the TiVo, and I just can't get it. It's not Katharine Hepburn. It's someone more precious sounding.

5. Cameron Diaz is transformed by black hair. She wears multi-layers of ruffles and yet somehow the effect is not wedding-cake. She seems very pleased by her ability to inform us that "The Departed" is another Scorsese masterpiece.... Next is the Best Screenplay award. "The Queen." The writer tries to make it a political speech about how public protest can affect political leaders. Just when you think you're about to hear about the current war, he's told to wrap up, and he does with a quick "I love you all."... TV Comedy actor: Alec Baldwin. He seems like an amusing guy, referring to the "autumn of my career."

6. "Ugly Betty" wins for Best TV Comedy. Do you watch that show? I watched the first episode, on the theory that it was supposed to be good. It wasn't terrible, but I didn't like it enough to stay with it. But then I don't really watch TV sitcoms, so pay no attention to me on this.

7. How stringy our Sharon Stone has become. The award is for foreign language film, and it goes to Clint Eastwood for "Letters From Iwo Jima," and the thought shoots through my head that I should see a movie every week. "You don't know what this does for my confidence," Clint says. He's wearing all black and a little silver bow tie.... In the comments, people are talking about whether Angelina Jolie is in a bad mood. Which is what's really important. She's so beautiful, and she's got the beautiful man, so, please, Lord, let her be unhappy.

8. Oh, Prince is in the audience. He was too late to receive his award. No wonder Timberlake was confused. We're told Prince was stuck in traffic. I find it hard to believe the world does not stop to allow the diminutive deity to proceed, but -- oh! -- Prince is there. Your humble blogger breaks down and cries.

9. Musical/Comedy TV Actress. Some terrific ladies. And it goes -- I'm not surprised -- to America Ferrera. Who, like every other woman there tonight, is wearing ancient Grecian garb. She's sweet, talking about "beauty that is deeper than what we see." Of course, she is lovely, but if she can speak for the ugly, that's nice. She thanks "Mommy." And you know you should all thank Mommy.

10. Tom Hanks is giving some award to Warren Beatty, who has such an embarrassingly self-satified look on his face. "What balls this man has. What balls this man has. And by balls, of course, I mean artistic vision and fortitude. What balls has Warren Beatty." Oh, he'll always be Milton Armitage to me.

11. Martin Scorsese wins the Best Director award, which he accepts with touching geeky fan style. He wanted to make a movie like "Public Enemy" or "Angels with Dirty Faces," and he lists all the actors he worked with on "The Departed," including "the great" Alec Baldwin... Next is the Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy award, and it goes to the brilliant man I love so much, Sacha Baron Cohen! As he walks up to the stage, they play his Kazakhstan national anthem. Here's a phrase: "When I saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin."

13. To present the last award, out comes our true American, Arnold Schwarzenegger, on crutches. The award for best dramatic movie goes to "Babel." And as Angelina Jolie gives Brad Pitt a slap on the back of the neck, I decide I should go see that movie.

ADDED, NEXT MORNING: Isn't it odd that there were two -- count 'em, two! -- speeches about testicles? (From Tom Hanks and Sacha Baron Cohen.)

66 comments:

Since I've linked to my blog more than even I can stand these two days, I'll spare everyone link with my picks. But I'll be posting on my blog too, so click on "Sundries" in Ann's blogroll and scroll down, if interested.

Here are my picks:

(I've seen every movie nominated, save Letters from Iwo Jima -- though I have seen lengthy outtakes)

The only thing I really cared about was seeing Jennifer Hudson win. That happened about a minute into the show. This is what it would feel like if they announced Best Picture right at the beginning of the Oscars and then spent the next two hours on technical awards.

I'm glad Meryl Streep made a public statement about Little Children's lack of distribution. Meryl Streep is really great, and whenever she makes stump speeches at these awards shows she always does it with a sense of humor and says something I really agree with.

And I hope my compatriots realise, there is not a more generous people to the British, than the Americans.

(BTW, Stephen Poliakoff is a "British Russian" director who did the fascinating, "Lost Prince" shown on PBS, in the States -- the story of George V and Queen Mary's youngest, epileptic son Prince John. Check it out, in case you haven't)

First things first, Drew Barrymore -- wow, has she learnt her lesson from the dress she wore at a few Golden Globes back, or what? She looked sleek, even though her complexion isn't suited to Hello Kitty pink. Kudos though, for trying.

Second, "Ugly Betty", the gringo version of the famous Colombian soap, Betty La Fea, won for best TV comedy.

I haven't seen such a reunited bunch of hysterial, out of control, jumping, yelling, busting up group of people on a podium, since Saddam Hussein's hanging!

Third, Ann wrote:

"Whether she'll win for her big movie queen role (Elizabeth II) remains to be seen."

Money. Bank it. Give you a fiver on your PayPal account, if she doesn't.

Oh, there's Prince. I bet he was late on purpose. And I saw Angelina checking him out, so Brad better beware.

This show is making me feel really out of the loop on pop culture. I haven't seen barely anything. I haven't even heard of most of these TV shows. 24 is the only one I'm familiar with. I didn't know the 40 Year Old Virgin had a show!

I wish it were that my tastes are too high brow for the Globes, but more often it's that it's too low brow.

I did see Borat and Thank You For Smoking. Even read the book Thank You For Smoking, and I know it's a cliche to say it but while I liked the movie it was a little disappointing in comparison with the book. So I'm rooting for Borat, definitely the funniest.

Yes, Angelina didn't wanna talk to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet and didn't seem to wanna be there at all, let alone talk. Or...maybe she just wanted it to be Brad's night and didn't wanna steal the attention? We don't wanna believe she's that considerate a wife, do we? I'm going with the bad mood.

Angelina checking Prince out?? Oh, c'mon! He's like, as tall as her son, an' probably wears the same sized pants! She was probably just thinking "How'd Maddox get here, and what the hell's he wearing?".

And as I just mentioned on my blog about Sacha Baron Cohen, another Cambridge man (ugh):

It was expected, and he's giving the crowd what they want -- jokes about Golden Globes, anuses and testicles, as well as buttocks and fart jokes. Perhaps I never went through this phase as a kid, but coprolalia has never been my colostomy bag...

At least I'm 5 out of 10 right, with 6 categories of the ones I tipped, defined!

I don't know who that black lady writer of Grey's Anatomy is, but she needs whatever Laura Bush is taking.

Here comes Best Actress!

I'm ready to pony up, Ann.

And the Oscar goes to...(whatever), ooh Judi Dench didn't make it out.

HELEN MIRREN FOR THE QUEEN.

A lock baby!!

More of a lock, and you'd have to close down the Tower of London.

Wow, she's awarding this to the Queen. No, she's taking it back since our fellow sovereign already has an orb. Oh brother.

Short quick acceptance speech, which she needs to work on come the Oscars.

Still, very nice, very deserved, and very concise.

(BTW, the Queen recently invited Helen, Michael Sheen -- who played Blair -- and the other cast members to Buck House for a meeting. It is not known what the real Queen said, or if she was there more than a few minutes, but it IS known that the Queen watched The Queen. Heh)

Yeah, even though I didn't see his movie yet, that's cool that Forest won since I've liked him in other stuff. Hmm, maybe I should turn off this post show (Trump and Eddie Murphy are on together now) and plop in Ghost Dog in Forest's honor.

BABEL!! I just watched that again last night with my boyfriend (I have an advanced screener).

Deserved. It was a better film than first I remembered it.

Finished with 7 out of 10 awards tipped right, and all but the last, Babel, figured in my "Should Win" guesses.

I'd like to thank the Althouse Academy for their generosity in letting me spew my factoids at will, for our gracious hostess with her tweaking abilities, and lastly, my mum -- who has the best pair of testicles this side of Kazakhstan!

FYI-Forest Whitaker is not a Brit, he is actually from South Central LA

It says on IMDB that he was born in Texas, though.

I think I know why Ann thought he was British.

Most people, if they remember this excellent character actor (who has slogged through many B-grade roles) at all, it is for the Crying Game.

He played a cricket and tranny-loving Brit. :)

I don't think The Last King of Scotland will be as powerful, as gory, and as demonic on the little screen, as it is in the theatres, so if it comes around (making its Oscar buzz 'rounds in March), do see it.

It's really a horror film, and many times more effective than the excellent Rwanda Hotel.

My understanding is that she has signed a deal to only wear a certain designer to all the various awards show. Pre Golden Globes the rumor was that she was exceedingly unhappy with the wardrobe choices they have given her.

So, her being upset on the red carpet could simply be that she hates her dress and people talking about your dress is what the red carpet interviews are all about.

Since she signed up for millions of bucks just to wear free clothes I'm a bit short on sympathy for her.

For Oscars, will be overlooked in the Iraq war weariness, and because he has been well-honored before and a sense that Scorses' day has finally come - but Clint Eastwoods bookended Iwo Jima movies are instant classics.

My hope is foreign language film goes to Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto", a brilliant movie. So is Pans Labyrinth and of course, Postcards from Iwo Jima.

Kyra Sedgewick winning was good. "The Closer" put together a great ensemble cast and made the biggest hit on a non Big 4, non-premium, non BBC type network. (TNT). Smaller networks winning awards is a good thing. Things like Fox's "The Simpsons" lead to the ability to build the base and resources to allow both Network success and better shows.And in that vein, a plug for Kristen Bell of the little-watched Veronica Mars who is as good or better a drama actress than Sedgewick is.

On those Brits again - Helen Mirren has had an exceptional career and done it with risk-taking and exceptionally varied roles. Her awards are richly merited. And I watch "House" to watch Laurie.

I didn't watch the show, but I did catch Angelina and Brad's interview with Access Hollywood from the red carpet. I don't think she's angry or upset, I just don't think she likes that environment.

She looks alive and enthusiastic when she's with her kids, or surrounded by the locals of some exotic locale. She looks exceedingly uncomfortable surrounded by fawning tabloid shows and the Hollywood "elite." Can't say that I blame her.

Victoria,Thought your live blogging was terrific.Fellow expat Brit here - endorse your view of US generosity to Brit upstarts at this time of year - it's terribly charming!I also keep advising people to pleasepleaseplease catch Poliakoff's "Lost Prince" - very fine indeed.Beatty was revoltingly entertaining - what a smirking nitwit.

Best comment on the night! As I brushed my teeth before going to sleep, I kept repeating that very addictive word -- "floofy". FLOOOOOFY.

LoafingOaf wrote:

Are you blogging the E post show? God, I have no life.

Heh. If you have a life past midnight, don't forget to check for STDs. :)

I saw about 15 mins worth, when Emily Blunt and Hugh Laurie were the sit-down guests being interviewed by this ravishing black lady.

Emily seems to have acquired a mid-Atlantic accent (like my cousins say I have too, sniff), and Hugh as usual, was very shy.

Ruth Anne wrote:

Victoria: According to imdb and his myspace, he's very much alive.

Dude, who am I think of, then? Maybe I confused he and Ned Beatty...

Cedarford:

On those Brits again - Helen Mirren has had an exceptional career and done it with risk-taking and exceptionally varied roles.

I couldn't agree more. In fact, of the newer generation, I am reminded of Mirren's range and audacity whenever I see Kate Winslet.

Only she's not as talented. :(

Chum wrote:

POTD!

Thanks, Chum. :)

We all had some great comments yesterday, considering the hand we were dealt with, by Blogger.

BTW, it's interesting, and though I still don't recall her name, but I'm fairly sure I heard this black lady writer of Grey's Anatomy, during an NPR interview.

She grew up very middle-class, and though she was hired to give 'street cred' dialogue to the show, she had trouble writing because she didn't have that as background. She mentioned one of her white colleagues started rapping about "ho-hos" (apparently, a kind of junk food), and she knew she had to do something about it. :)

I hope I got the show right! Could be Scrubs. *g*

joe baby:

And sadly, the inconvenient truth is that Tom looks like he's on the Al Gore Fitness Plan.

So here I am in the latest "exotic locale" for Angelina and Brad. They've bought a big house in the French Quarter and say they're putting their kids in school here. Angelina's looking for some "normal moms" to do kids stuff with here in NOLA.

Jennifer, it's amusing maybe more than bad. I made beef stew for dinner and thought, "hey, we oughta ask Brad and Angelina over." Celebs like to move to New Orleans for awhile. They buy a magnificent old house, make a movie here (Brad Pitt is making one now), and voila, they're gone.

So here I am in the latest "exotic locale" for Angelina and Brad. They've bought a big house in the French Quarter and say they're putting their kids in school here. Angelina's looking for some "normal moms" to do kids stuff with here in NOLA.

You mean, white moms who wear a vial of her husband's blood around her neck and with lips the size of Idaho? You know, normal moms like that.

Anyway, Elizabeth, a question for your no doubt bodacious self.

What ever happened to Anne Rice, and other famous celebs in NOLA after Katrina? Everything okay with them, and did any leave for extended amounts of time?

Doug Brinkley, the historian, is coming out or has come out with a book about the Perfect Storm, I know.

But how about Julia Reed, and them?

Inquiring minds.

BTW, congrats on the 'aints making it to the Championship Game!

I want Peyton to win, BUT I want him to face his hometown team in the SB. :)