And because I'm a man of candor, here's the article about the extremely rare occurrence of a cyclist killing a pedestrian from the New York Times.

The argument about hyphenated names is that people who can't make decisions eventually trickle up into positions of power in government, which causes political gridlock and an inability to compromise, hence being the Biggest Problem in the Universe. But feel free to dismiss the nuance and foresight in my argument as you shovel fries down your collective throats.