Pages

Monday, March 12, 2012

when you can do nothing but count...

wide awake with a heavy <3.

This was my facebook status last night at 1 a.m. Nine hours later, I'm sleepy with a heavy heart.

There are times in life when it seems like nothing makes sense or everything falls apart. There are seasons when my heart screams... tell me, once again, who I am to You... because I can't feel it, hear it, see it, taste it or know it in my heart of hearts right now.

Sometimes the storm blows right through my world and turns everything upside down and inside out. Mostly though, the storm is someone close. Close enough for me to hear their wind howl... to see flying debris... to feel the pounding rain. Close enough to hear enough, see enough, feel enough to send me to my knees.

Last week, my sister posted this and it hurt my heart... hurt not because I was in this storm but because this storm was felt by those I love... I prayed for my sister and her family... especially my two nephews who I'm particularly fond of.

This morning, as I drove home from taking Emme to school, I was reminded of that family. A family torn... forever changed... living a new reality that they didn't choose. My soul had forgotten... I suffer deeply from soul amnesia. I wish I had remembered to pray for them every single minute of every day. I hate forgetting!

Last night, wide awake with a heavy heart brought a new circumstance to pray about. One much closer to home. Friends, seemingly in a spiritual battle, the likes of which I have never fought. I prayed, we prayed, I prayed again.

Much prayer and yet the heavy heart remained. Heavy and restless. Wide awake in the middle of the night. Until...

Be anxious for nothing,

but in everything by prayer and supplication

with thanksgiving

let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God,

which surpasses all comprehension,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NASB)

He, the One True God, brought these verses to mind. I prayed them for my friends, for myself, for my family and I counted... until sleep came.

And, though, I woke still with a heavy heart for the battle, my heart is not without hope because I know the end of the story...

I am visiting from Ann's. I posted just before you there today. This is a wonderful reminder for all of us. My children are grown, but they still could use the prayers and now I have their spouses and grandkids, too.

Beautiful - real - raw - authentic post. I think we ca all relate. So touched by your sister and you. Yes, wide awake with a burden is burdening. I get it. I've been there. Blessings and sweet prayers.