“Princeton Mom” Says Plastic Surgery in High School and Husband Hunting in College

A year ago this month, Princeton alum Susan Patton wrote an open letter to young ladies that ran in the Daily Princetonian newspaper. In it, the 1977 graduate advised: “Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out.... Find a husband on campus before you graduate.” And now, Patton’s progressive nuggets of wisdom have been released in her new book, Marry Smart: Advice for Finding the One.

Some of her recommendations are just silly, like “learn how to bake bread.” (Patton apparently thinks grocery stores will cease to exist in a few years.) Some are wildly biased and outdated: “College-age women...have to start putting in place plans for their personal happiness, because they will never again have this concentration of extraordinary men to choose from.” First, that’s assuming a husband is the only means to personal happiness. And a “concentration of extraordinary men to choose from”? Not everyone attends Princeton, Susie.

She also believes “work can wait” and discourages the active pursuit of a career during what might be the most crucial time to start a professional life. But that’s not even the most offensive tenet of Patton’s guide to the demodernized woman. “When she enters college, your daughter will never again be as young, as beautiful, as attractive to men, or as fertile,” she says. “If you require major body work, get it done in high school.”

Hold. The. Phone. Your daughter will also never be as young as she was in kindergarten. Why not just arrange a marriage for her then and get it out of the way? And don’t bother teaching her confidence or self-worth. Just send her under the knife! Oh, and Suze, not all men want to marry 18- to 21-year-olds. In fact, according to Allure’s 2013 study on aging, women aren’t considered to be their sexiest or most beautiful until they hit 30. By my calculation, that gives us plenty of time to worry about ourselves—our education, and our jobs—first.