Thank you everyone who left me such lovely comments about the Kreativ Blogger award. Sorry for the delay in replying, but, as usual I’ve been crazy busy.

At this moment, I am typing on a computer in the Olds College Library. It’s a beautiful spot. Both the library and Olds.

I am here on a CUPE Weeklong School retreat. Taking New Officer’s training. As I’m now 3 years into my term as President of our Local I wouldn’t consider myself a ‘new’ officer, but I figured the training might have some relevant stuff.

Turns out the first two days are all about public speaking. Now, I can speak, some times endlessly. I’m also fairly confident getting up in front of a crowd and saying a few words on behalf of whatever. But, when it comes to personal stuff — that’s a whole new ballgame.

We started out having to give a short, 2-minute, blurb about ourselves. I wrote it out no problem, but when I had to get up and read in front of everyone. Well. I was nervous. My voice shook. My hands shook. I couldn’t look at anyone. Of course, everyone was kind and told me I did fine, but I felt ridiculous as I walked away from the podium.

Today, I have to make a 5-minute speech. We were told it can be about anything we like. I chose New York. Because, well, it’s the greatest city on earth (that I’ve been to) and I love it there. Am planning my third trip.

So, anyway I practiced my speech in front of my roommates last night. Apparently I say um and and a lot. Also I bob and weave. Looks like I’m trying to dodge a fight. The first time I did it, it took me 10 minutes. Decided that I had to drop a lot of extra detail if I was going to make the 5-minute mark.

Gave it another go. Got it down to exactly 5 minutes, but still too many ums and ands. Tried concentrating on standing still, but then I felt like a total knob. Maybe I’ll just try swaying. Oh, another thing I do, I wave my hands around. But I think that could be a good thing. Distract people from the panic-stricken look on my face.

On my walk this morning I gave myself a pep-talk. This is not life and death. This is just a short speech in front of people who will treat me kindly. I’m third to go this morning, so I’ll be getting it over with quickly. Once it’s done, it’s done. I can move on and put it behind me.

I love to write. I think I wrote a very good speech. It’s the speaking part that terrifies me. But, I can fake the confidence I need. I know I can.

And you know what else is really lovely about this place? There are horses out behind the residences where I’m staying. And they have foals. New ones. There are even a couple of sets of twins. I watched them playing in their pens beside their dams this morning.

God, they are the sweetest little things with long, gambly legs and their soft twitchy noses. They were calling out to one another, but because they’re separated by fences the most they can do is bump noses before leaping away and kicking their little heels in the air.

Meanwhile, moms are standing eyeing me like I’m some sort of predator. With a soft nicker they’d summon their young back to their side. They’d come, reluctantly, and mom would give them a reassuring touch, but the babies would toss their little heads in impatience and leap away.

Hopefully, later, during a break I’ll be able to get back over to the pens when staff are present and get up close and personal with a couple of these little beauties.

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6 Comments

I admire your bravery for even attempting to speak in public! I used to have a great fear of speaking over intercoms until I realized no one was paying attention. lol Love how you describe the horses – it’s like being there. Beautiful.

There’s no better way to overcome the fear than showing yourself you can do it. I always look way more confident than I really am. That sucks ’cause people look at me and decide I don’t need any support. Meanwhile my knees hardly hold me in their gelatin form!

When we were coming into Calgary, my bro and me, I looked out over one of the endless pastures and saw a woman galloping a horse across the range. Her hair was flying, the horses mane was flying and I teared up real fast with an overwhelming sense of “HOME!”

Thanks for describing the mares and foals, Kathy.

Now get up on that podium and just be you. It’s all you got and it’s the very best to give!

Hi Amy, thanks for the encouragement. The speech went well — I was nervous, but it was over before I knew it.

I’ve ridden many times and I love the romanticism of the whole idea of riding free as the wind. Truth be told, though, these old bones just can’t handle it anymore. I was in so much pain last year after 2-hour trail ride that I passed on the idea of a 3 day holiday on horseback this summer.
Getting old sucks!