Books

There’s not a lot that is new in this short book with the provocative title. Women have been recording stupid and harassing male behaviour for eons. In this perhaps unique moment in history, however, when there exists the possibility that we might finally be able to put a stop to it, in the West at least, the perspective of a trans woman who has experienced misogyny in its many forms undoubtedly adds a little more to the conversation.

The book begins with a sentence that explains the title: “I’m afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear.” The introductory chapter that follows then demonstrates how this “fear governs many of the choices I make, from the beginning of my day to the end.”

I’m Afraid of Men is a mostly autobiographical piece that begins with experiences from her childhood as a brown skinned boy with troubling feminine tendencies to her time spent as a gay male and finally to her life as a trans woman. This shifting perspective allows Shraya to demonstrate how misogyny plays out in different ways. Many of the traumas are relatively mild and will be familiar to most trans woman, but it is the accumulation of these traumas that serves to beat us down and make us fearful. They remind us that male violence is always there, lurking in the background and, if we let it, governing our behaviour.

Shraya pulls the book together at the end into a broader critique of the restrictive notions of gender and the dominant male culture. In this section, she admits she’s afraid of women too, “afraid of women who’ve either emboldened or defended the men who have harmed me, or have watched in silence…of women who have internalized their experiences of misogyny so deeply that they make me their punching bag. I’m afraid of the women who, like men, reject my pronouns and refuse to see my femininity, or who comment on or criticize my appearance, down to the chipped nail polish, to reiterate that I am not one of them.”

Vivek Shraya is a talented woman. In addition to being an author, she is a creative writing professor, a musician, and has produced short films and photography exhibitions. She also has an imprint with Arsenal Pulp Press called VS. Books. You can expect to hear much more from Vivek Shraya in the future.

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Ottawa Trans History

The original purpose of this web site was to have a place in which the history of trans people in Ottawa could be told. While I compiled much of the file, I am also very grateful for the contributions many trans people have made to the initial research. They have not only added significantly to the original material, but also ensured its accuracy.

Nonetheless, I am certain this history is incomplete. I still hope that as people become aware of it, they will want to contribute new material that records events of which I was unaware.

Our history is important. It’s a powerful antidote to the attempted erasure of trans lives and it celebrates our achievements.

OTTAWA TRANS LIBRARY

Before the internet, a good trans library was a valuable thing. I still believe in books and so am assembling a collection of historical, important and not-so-important works on trans issues and people.

Alice in Genderland; Changing Sex: Transsexualism, Technology, and the Idea of Gender; Crossdressing with Dignity; The Gendered Self; Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to be Girls; My Husband Betty; My Husband Wears My Clothes; The Riddle of Gender; She’s Not the Man I Married; She’s Not There: a Life in Two Genders; Transgender Explained: For Those Who Are Not; Unzipping Gender: Sex, Cross-dressing and Culture.

Audio-Visual

The Adventures of Captain Cross Dresser; The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert; Beautiful Daughters; The Dress Code; Ma Vie en Rose (My Life in Pink); Kinky Boots; Normal; Talk Ottawa: Life as a Transgender;TransAmerica.