Glenn Beck: ‘Assange May be The Man of The Millenium’

The blackboard is out and Beck is ready to hit his ever-dwindling viewers with some truth. In a fifteen-minute segment, Beck makes Assange look like the social revolutionary that he himself always wanted to be.

Assange isn’t a rapist! With the illustrative aid of Barbie cutouts to illustrate the two rape accusers and some sort of Ken airline pilot cutout standing in for Assange, Beck single-handedly cracks the case of the consensual-turned-non-consensual sex. With the defamation cleared up, Beck moves on to Assange and Wikileaks.

Beck fancies himself a social revolutionary, and by the standard of his unwavering take-down of the leftists and progressive government via the chalkboard claims a parallel between himself and the Wikileaks founder:

“I want you to know the government is lying to you,” Beck proclaims, “I have made a living over the last two years telling you the government is lying. Julian Assange isn’t saying anything new…He is a dangerous man… I want smaller government, he’s anti-goverment.”

Glenn Beck and Julian Assange—kindred spirits.

In Beck’s words, he wants truth, and Assange wants anarchy—a big stretch for the Fox anchor to make, I’d say. In actuality, Assange is important enough to be imprisoned, and Beck is probably too insignificant a media figure to be issued a parking ticket. While Assange is exposing primary source materials, Beck is blatantly fabricating statistics—two days ago, he claimed 10% of the American Muslim are terrorists. Sure, both men shock, but one unearths shocking truths, while the other weaves shocking fabrications from thin air.

Continually in the segment, Beck casts himself as a parallel figure to Assange before setting himself apart from the Wikileaks founder by placing himself on a moral high ground. First, Beck describes himself as a truth-seeker and Assange as a dangerous anarchist. Then, hitting us with some chalkboard knowledge on the rape allegations, he calls Assange “…A dirtbag, he obviously has no problem using his fifteen minutes of fame to sleep with anyone who is crawling.” And Beck obviously has no problem leeching off the notoriety of Assange for his own popularity.

From the same platform he accused 10% of American Muslims as being terrorists, he critiques the Wikileaks founder with his trademark display of self-aggrandizement. And with that, he proclaims that Assange may indeed be—for his potential to devastate global diplomacy—not just the man of the year or the decade or even of the last century, but that Assange just may be the man of the millenium.

It’s not Beck out there sleeping with gorgeous Swedish spies and stirring up the global consciousness. Living vicariously through Assange is looking like his next best option.

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It turns out that, not only were 38-year-old Melody Lippert (mugshot, left) and 30-year-old Michelle Ghirelli (right) booked for unlawful sexual conduct, but the extra-curricular enthusiasts are also facing drug charges.