I haven't posted on here in a while as DH and I had decided to go down the adoption route. However, we found out last week that we are unsuitable to adopt as DH has children who do not live in this country - he is deemed unstable in relationships as he is not with the mother.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I have had to re-think my 'never again' attitude to IVF and we are considering it again. However, before we begin again we would like to have compatability tests done etc as we have tried IVF/FET 7 times and never had a successful outcome. Does anyone know/recommend who or what we need to do to get these tests done? Can we ask our GP, or is it something that our IVF clinic can do? I've heard that ARGC are quite thorough with testing before starting a tmt cycle, only problem with them is I don't think our finances would stretch to a cycle with them! We could afford the tests but not the cycle and I don't know if they would do that (I have emailed them to find out).

So happy to "see" you here again! I am so sorry that the adoption route turned out the way it did! I do not really like social workers etc. because I do NOT believe anyone has the right to judge us. We all some from varied cultures and there are many ways to raise babies. Also, if it didn't work out between your DH and the mother of his kids whose right is it to judge?!

Anyway, I am from the April/May 2008 babies group and I was devastated when you found no heartbeat. I have thought of you often hoping that you were still trying and coming here silently...

I am here for you as a great supporter. My story to having these babies is more than anyone could ever believe. I can happen and DOES happen and if you feel your baby in your heart then your baby is coming...

I am so pleased for you that you have your twins...bet they are keeping you busy? I hope you are right and that I will have a baby in my arms one day, it has taken a lot to get me back on this rollercoaster but DH and I now have no other choice!!

Surrogacy is something that we are also thinking about but we will do an IVF first and then hopefully have some embies in storage if we need to go down the surrogacy route. SIL has offered but she is too old in the UK to be a surrogate so we are looking into the US and what their age limits are - do you have any idea, or know where I might find out? I have absolutely no idea where to start on that one!!

Great to hear from you! I DO know that there are surrogacy groups here in the U.S. A girlfriend of mine who was considering IVF via a surrogate because she has no uterus found one straightaway but then decided against the expense since she was already 41 and the doctor didn't find a lot of antral egg cells. Anyway, my point is that you can go on-line to find a group and then be sure they have a contract etc.

Are you wondering about surrogacy because you think you and your DH are not compatable? There is a doctor in NYC who you should see. He believes that its pathogens (certain bacteria) that cause implantation problems and often recurrent miscarriages as well (besides the clotting issue). His name is Dr. Attila Toth and he is wonderful - I saw him and was treated by him 2 years before I got pregnant. I believe my babies implanted BECAUSE of his therapy. He can be found at fertilitysolution dot com.