Toni Poole was mad, mad as hell - and when Wags get mad, they know where to go. The 28-year-old wife of the now former England captain John Terry took one look at the allegations that her husband had been slide-tackling another player's former girlfriend, defiantly dyed her hair the same shade as his mistress's, grabbed a handful of Wag widow's weeds - slutty pink bikinis - and headed straight for the most graceful and dignified place on the planet: Dubai.

Over the course of the week the head Wag delivered a masterclass in jilted wife chic. While her husband faced calls for his resignation, there she was by the pool at a five-star hotel, glowering behind her designer sunglasses.

As the "other woman", Vanessa…

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