"Hip-hop is the main thing I listen to," Chris D'Elia immediately explains of his musical predilections. "But if I'm trying to get girls to have sex with me I put on Portishead." This sounds about right for the comedian, who has a new stand-up special, White Male. Black Comic., premiering on Comedy Central Friday night. D'Elia has earned a lot of new fans this year using Vine and Instagram, with which he recreates popular songs in an operatic voice. His most famous stand-up bit is about Drake, and he clearly has some strong opinions, so it seemed only fitting that we ask D'Elia his thoughts on some of the biggest releases and events in music in 2013. The comedian, who cites Pusha T's My Name Is My Name as the best album of the year, sounded off on everything from Justin Bieber to twerking to Lorde. Best of all, he has a solid explanation for the questionable prevalence of drop-crotch pants.

Kanye West's "Bound 2" Video

"Here's the thing: The worst video is also the best video I've ever seen. If he knows what he's doing and he's seriously not crazy then it's terrible. If he's crazy, it's my favorite video I've ever seen in my life. If a doctor would diagnose him and be like, 'He needs to be under some medicine and some care,' then it skyrockets to my favorite video of all time. To think of him being insane and then seeing that video and him being like, 'Yep that's what I wanted!' is my favorite thought."

"My thoughts were strictly with Billy Ray Cyrus. I want to know how he felt about that. I don't have a daughter or any kids, but if I did and I saw that, I'd have to really, really convince myself that that was the artist's move and not my daughter. That being said, I think Miley Cyrus is so awesome. I think the way she reinvented herself is next-level. Also she's so hot. Wait, how old is she? Is that creepy? I wanted to recreate the 'Wrecking Ball' video, but I didn't have a wrecking ball. Also my penis would be dragging on the ground. Print that."

Lil Wayne Almost Dying

"I love Lil Wayne's music and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. But that being said, it has been a long time since a rapper died so — you gotta figure it's gonna be soon! Rappers should be on high alert right now. They should be eating kale because if they're not, they might be next."

Lorde's "Royals"

"Isn't she like 12? That's amazing. She sounds like a grown woman. I'm into that style of song. But I gotta say I'm already hearing it too much so I'm going to hate it soon."

Jay Z's "Picasso Baby" Film

"I felt like his album was just more of the same stuff that he's been doing already. I watched that performance art video of his where people were standing in a room pretending that it wasn't just a concert and it was art. Why did they do that? If I was there I would have been out in the first minute. I would have been like, 'Get Jay Z out of here and put some paintings up.' That's not my dream. My dream doesn't have anything to do with Jay Z, although it does have something to do with that room and Miley Cyrus and painting."

Justin Bieber's Antics

"Here's the deal: He comes to my shows so there's no way I'm saying anything bad about Justin Bieber. I consider myself, in all seriousness, in the Bieber crew. I know how ridiculous this will look in print but I want you to say, 'Chris D'Elia: I'm in the Bieber crew.' I think Bieber is cool, man. If I had a crew behind me that was there to make sure I didn't get punched I'd be punching everybody. I would have walked right up to my AD on Whitney and punched him in the face. And then I would have driven away in my silver Tesla or whatever the fk he has."

"That song is tailored for white girls 10 to 19. Once you're 19 you won't like it anymore. Also, he doesn't shop at a thrift shop. He's rich. That would be like me making a song about being an ultimate fighter."

Will.i.am's Solo Album

"I just cannot listen to will.i.am because he wears too many things. He looks like a satellite. Also, hey will.i.am, your name is just William."

Daft Punk's "Get Lucky"

"Most overplayed song of the year. That song is just everywhere. And I have nothing more to say about that."

3-D Music Films

"Are those all in 3-D? Okay, if you're watching a concert movie in 3-D, just go see the concert. How from the future are you? Just go to the concert, you cheapskate! I'm sure will.i.am likes them because he's already wearing the glasses."

Ke$ha Drinking Her Own Urine

"Did that really happen? Don't drink your own pee and that's so obvious. And don't drink your pee especially if there are cameras around. And even more than that, especially don't be Ke$ha."

Twerking

"I hate it. It's so dumb. It's one of those things that when it started it was already done. First of all, that's not new. People have been doing that for years and years and years, and just because they picked the name it's popular? If someone thinks twerking is funny or fun, they are not funny or fun. Period."

EDM

"Anything that brings large groups of people together not looking at me — I don't like it."

Music Festivals

"I don't play those. That's like saying, 'Here's this much money to bomb.' I'm not going on after a guy wailing on a guitar or after a DJ spinning. No one wants to fk anyone more than a DJ, and I'm not following somebody more fkable than me. The best festival this year was the festival of sleeping in my own bed."

"Even though it's pop, it's just too country for me. I don't ever listen to stuff like that. But knowing nothing about her, I'd date her. I would date anybody that I know nothing about. I would have the coolest, most awesome relationship with her so she would make the weirdest song. And I would make her call it 'Chris D'Elia Love Song.'"

Drop-Crotch Pants

"I actually bought one of those pairs of pants. You're not gonna get me to speak badly of them. I feel like the drop-crotch pants and anything Lil Wayne wears is the coolest thing in music fashion this year. I think guys have a thing where it's like, 'You don't even know where my dick is in these pants.'"