Twilight News Dump – The Of Course edition

Posted by themoonisdown on April 13th, 2011

We’re crazy bro!!!

Dear LTT-ers,

Since there’s nothing HUGE happening (besides the filming of Breaking Dawn) and tons of tiny little things happening AND because when I realize that some of you great readers only come here for I news, I thought it might be nice to have a news dump.

OF course Jackson would be wearing red pants and a top hat in a picture for something called the “Liquid Zoo” album and tour… of which I will not be purchasing OR attending. Love you Jacky! PS 40 cities?? REALLY?? OF COURSE!

Of course at the Breaking Dawn wrap party the cast took turns riding a teeeeny tiny motorcycle that Taylor brought. I bet Big Daddy was sad. OF COURSE!

Of course Robert Pattinson is going to be on 10546546 TV Shows to promote Water for Elephants! And of course you know they’re gonna ask about Twilight and of course they’re gonna ask about you know who and OF COURSE we (meaning Jena) have you covered on the DVR alerts page.

Of course the pie guy slash the guy from The Fall talks to us Twi fans and makes me more excited to see him as Garrett whoever that is. I hope Garrett is a pie maker.

Of course Carlisle Cullen would land at #2 on the Forbes list of most wealthy fictional characters and OF COURSE his cover would be blown because they list his stocks in blood and his “daughter” Alice’s penchant for seeing the futre. GOOD JOB fake Forbes, now they have to move again! OF COURSE! #respectthecullens

Of course we all thought the Official Twilight Illustrated Guide was never coming out so OF COURSE you are really confused when it showed up in your mail today but OF COURSE you ordered it back in 2008. If you didn’t you can get it here

Of coure Catherine Hardwicke talks about Twilight and Rob while doing promo for her OTHER (laughable, LIT-TRALLY) movie. And OF COURSE we roll our eyes. SHOW US THE TAPE! Shut up or put up! Or whatever the saying is.

So of course now you’re all caught up on all the news that doesn’t matter and of course all we really want are some legal OFFICIAL stills or maybe a teensy clip from Breaking Dawn but we’ll solider on and pray that November 18 comes faster than it already is.

I am wondering how I do a TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT until my Twi book comes to my stupid local bookstore that stupidly didn’t get it special for Tuesday delivery but instead left it for the regular Friday delivery so I have to WAIT. (Inigo Montoya voice: “I hate waiting”)

natteringyeahrobber

Mine is coming Friday too. I am having it delivered to my work. The mail people here sometimes give my mail to my assistant. I know she’ll open the package which should be clearly addressed to my attention and I know she’ll come over to my desk snickering (like she always does when she opens my packages by accident/more like on purpose). Don’t read the reviews on Amazon, some of them pretty much give the whole book away. Though one review does state that the book is “a must have for anyone in the Twilight trance” so I guess that would be all of us here.

Anonymous

No nosey assistant to worry about, just the monsters, I mean chilren.

natteringyeahrobber

Well, it is illustrated. Maybe you can pretend you purchased for them (a la Homer Simpson)?

My older kid loves maps and there are supposedly some maps in the Illustrated Guide. Probably not super detailed, though. I am hoping for details – like where the Charlie-Jessica love den is in relation to where Carlisle hides his billion dollar fortune in the woods. I am also hoping for an illustrated guide to Edward’s room, complete with a list of ALL of his CDs and books. There should be one of those peek-through illustrations of vampire anatomy, where you lift up a plastic flap to see internal organs (Edward’s, specifically).

Anonymous

mmmm internal marbley organs….

Anonymous

One can only hope. Where do they keep there money? And Edwards room…aaahhh!

MariaCecilia

And when you lift the flap to the golden bedspread in Edward’s room there is….nakey Edward! 🙂 (Hide it from the kids!)

natteringyeahrobber

Well, it is illustrated. Maybe you can pretend you purchased for them (a la Homer Simpson)?

My older kid loves maps and there are supposedly some maps in the Illustrated Guide. Probably not super detailed, though. I am hoping for details – like where the Charlie-Jessica love den is in relation to where Carlisle hides his billion dollar fortune in the woods. I am also hoping for an illustrated guide to Edward’s room, complete with a list of ALL of his CDs and books. There should be one of those peek-through illustrations of vampire anatomy, where you lift up a plastic flap to see internal organs (Edward’s, specifically).

Anonymous

“Liked” for quoting Inigo.

Prepare to die.

Sonata

So…I got my illustrated guide at WalMart yesterday (I did not preorder because I never thought this day would come…plus, I was uberpoor two years ago…) Here is my non-spoilery review of the first half (Stupid Real Life is making me mad! I want to READ!!!)

95% lame.
5% Twilight-geek-so-excited-SHUT-UP! moments. Sadly, I have no one to share these little snippits of information.

The sad thing is, as we are learning back stories and new information…I keep getting things confused with fanfic. I keep thinking: “Wait a minute. You mean Edward WASN’T a baseball player/lawyer/newspaper journalist?” But there is ONE thing I have read so far that I am almost CERTAIN I read on the Lexicon that Steph said that is different in this book. But I could be fanfic confused again…….

Anonymous

Thanks for the review. I think mine is coming today. Not super excited, but is something new to read and talk about – right.

Anonymous

Yes, thanks for the review. I ordered mine (I really need to cut up my credit cards) and am awaiting its arrival. I was afraid that it would be 100% lame so am glad to hear there’s at least 5% that should be interesting!

Anonymous

Yes, thanks for the review. I ordered mine (I really need to cut up my credit cards) and am awaiting its arrival. I was afraid that it would be 100% lame so am glad to hear there’s at least 5% that should be interesting!

Anonymous

I just bought it (didn’t make it to the store yesterday). First impression: it was bigger than I expected it to be (like the size of Twilight). I guess I figured it would be like those illustrated movie companions (size and thickness). Also, (random thing to notice/remark on) I was shocked how HEAVY it was… they must have used some high quality, heavy paper.

I haven’t cracked it open yet, though.

MariaCecilia

Hm, sounds like a family Bible..Wait, maybe this IS the new Family Bible?! In some homes at least…

(Thanks! btw for including me on your FF information Monday post: I felt SO in the loop again..but my stupid computer wouldn’t let me reply for some reason..blocklettersblocker that it is.)

Anonymous

Ha. Maybe. But I was reading a bit this afternoon. I’m not hating it like I’d hate the POS I know Midnight Sun would certainly be, but the interview w/SM in the beginning is cute, even though I’d heard most of it before in other interviews. I just enjoyed how honest and adorable Stephenie is. And how much she loves the characters she created for us that we love too.

(YW. 🙂 If you read FF and want to check it out, I’d LOVE for you to leave a review letting me know what you think.)

Anonymous

wait wait, slow up! i didnt know you had a FF! what is it called/send me the link!

Holy shit balls! I did order the Illustrated Guide, back in 2008, from Amazon. I went and checked on the status, and the status was: sorry we couldn’t ship your order because your credit card has expired, please pick a new method of payment.

Well no duh!

bev

YEEEEEESSS!! I AM FREAKKING MAD WITH THOSE $#/&%”#! AMAZON’S f#$%&#! !! I MEAN DUDE! I WOKE UP TODAY WANTING TO GET MY HANDS ON THE DAMN BOOK! NOW I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT AGAIN!! AN WAIT ANOTHER 2 OR 3 DAYS!! IM SO MAD IM USING SHOUTY CAPITALS!! AND NOW IM THINKING OF 50 SHADES.. ugh!

MariaCecilia

Hm, did 50 shades use to block you in any way..? Otherwise, hopefully that would be a Happy Thought? 🙂

bev

YEEEEEESSS!! I AM FREAKKING MAD WITH THOSE $#/&%”#! AMAZON’S f#$%&#! !! I MEAN DUDE! I WOKE UP TODAY WANTING TO GET MY HANDS ON THE DAMN BOOK! NOW I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT AGAIN!! AN WAIT ANOTHER 2 OR 3 DAYS!! IM SO MAD IM USING SHOUTY CAPITALS!! AND NOW IM THINKING OF 50 SHADES.. ugh!

Holy shit balls! I did order the Illustrated Guide, back in 2008, from Amazon. I went and checked on the status, and the status was: sorry we couldn’t ship your order because your credit card has expired, please pick a new method of payment.

Holy shit balls! I did order the Illustrated Guide, back in 2008, from Amazon. I went and checked on the status, and the status was: sorry we couldn’t ship your order because your credit card has expired, please pick a new method of payment.

Well no duh!

Anonymous

Can we talk about the new movie Ashley Greene will be in with Miley Cyrus – LOL. No, really. It’s called LOL

I am picturing Scrooge McDuck, Chuck Bass, Sir Topham Hat, Mr. Burns and Carlisle all in some sort of Skull & Bones club, lying naked in coffins in a Yale basement and talking about their sexual experiences. Sir Topham Hat is probably the most deviant of the lot. Oh to be a fly in that room.

Oh, DUH. Skulls, forgot about that. I was thinking about him being in the basement at Harvard for Fringe. Guess if I ever need an Ivy League basement tour, I’ll be calling Josh.

TeamSeth

So much to do with this “basement tour” comment, so little time.

Anonymous

and the monopoly guy

Anonymous

Did you see PFach’s twitter reply to the Forbes article?

” I would’ve been #1 but I had to throw a very expensive wedding this year. Damn it Scrooge, I’m just a doctor.”

Anonymous

The Forbes list is one of my favorite things ever. It’s a great way of bringing my Forbes-reading unicorn husband into the crazy for five minutes. That said, he told me that if I bought the Illustrated Guide I could never make fun of him for any Star Trek related paraphernalia… so I haven’t bought it yet. That’s a big category to give up mocking your husband for. That and with the stork overdue at my house, I’m not betting on having time to read for the next six months.
Off topic, I put my little toe out of the Twi-closet yesterday… when I arranged the last bookshelf in my new house yesterday the Saga actually got a visible location instead of being double shelved behind classics. Granted, it’s the bottom shelf farthest from the door, but it’s there. Aren’t you all proud?

Anonymous

I get to laugh at myself because I’m both a Star Trek and a Twilight geek!

I have my Twilight saga books strategically spaced out on my bookshelf with books like “Ulysses”, “Moby Dick”, “Tess of the D’Urbervilles” and other classics in between, so I can delude myself as to my literary tastes. Guess which ones actually get read!

Anonymous

I am constantly shocked at how ridiculously geeky I am. I have this vision of myself as worldly and so punk rock awesome, that is not supported by, you know, reality.

I really want to read Ulysses, but I feel like I need to take a full 16 week college course on it to get anything out of it. Twilight Read Through #4 it is, then.

MariaCecilia

I read Moby Dick in English, didn’t like it, tried reading Tess, found it depressing, read excerpts from Ulysses, but never got through the whole thing – although I think that might actually be worth the trouble without taking the class first.. Stick with the books you like, and leave the rest for your retirement, is my motto!

Anonymous

Can I tell you how fast I would sign up for a Ulysses class? Can I tell you how fucking geeky I would be, right up front and raising my hand like Hermione Damn Granger? I troll the college English Dept. schedules every September, to no avail. Ivy League educations are severely lacking these days.

TeamSeth

My friend gave it a proper go. After he finished the Bible and the Iliad. He’s *that guy*. His apartment is 1 part bed/couch .02 parts kitchen and dining and rest of the parts bookshelves. All full. One entirely dedicated to history, sociology, and politics of the Middle East. Yes. Oh Friend, I <3 thee. So, I can ask him for his notes, if you want.

Anonymous

I met a really cute guy on an airplane once, because he pulled out the Iliad after takeoff. I was like, “Really? You’re going to read the Iliad on a plane? I think you are just trying to impress people.” and he was like, “No! I really…well I mean I’ve read it already and…yes. I was.” We even went on a couple dates while he was in town. 🙂 That’s right, ladies: it pays to openly mock people on airplanes!

TeamSeth

Only if they’re CLEARLY trying to impress you with their “hardcore” literary-ness… usually I just say bye to them after they grab their luggage from the overhead compartment and scurry away to their wife. Though once flying to London from Valencia I met a Spanish guy (who I had been certain was American!) and helped him sort of the airport (and that you cannot openly smoke). That led no where (obviously).

New conclusion: Openly mocking people on airplanes works if you’re a NutSlut.

Anonymous

Yeah, the NutSlut part helps a lot. MARBLE ONLY, PLZ.

Anonymous

Very Proud! Mine still in my nightstand drawer.

MariaCecilia

I proudly tote my LTT Tweed Serious bag to the gym, but I keep my books and movies in my bedroom – to protect them from my mother-in-law more than anything. She “borrows” things sometimes..

And you can totally mock your husband anyway: promises like that are made to be broken. Pointy ears are MUCH more laughable than sparkly skin, anyway! And you’re Tweed Serious by association after all..

Anonymous

Tweed Serious bag travels with me too! Now I just need somebody to know what it is!

Anonymous

My friend and I saw one at the 3!Movie!Marathon!Eclipse!OpeningNight!Woo! but we were too jittery and spaztastic to talk to them. I wonder who it was…?

Anonymous

i have the same problem

TeamSeth

OT Question: Is there any LTTers from Ireland?

Anonymous

I’m really curious about this illustrated guide and would like to read it, but I do not want to buy it. Maybe I will luck out and a friend will buy it and I can borrow it.

I saw that video of Lee Pace on Facebook the other day. I’m super excited to see him in the movie. I love him. Well, really I love the Pie Maker. Tomato, Ta-mah-toe.

I thought that bike was Kristen’s present for her B-day the other day? That’s what I read online somewhere.

TeamSeth

From who? Roblia? That makes sense that they’d want to give her a two-wheeled death machine… (ROBLIA FOREVER!)

Anonymous

I guess it was from “Rob and the gang.” And technically, Leah is part of that gang…

Speaking of this (but not at all) I had this really long thought out “hang with Ryan Giggs” fantasy yesterday after watching the ManU vs. Chelsea game. Sheen may or may not have made an appearance…

TeamSeth

On second thought (well, fifth thought, the first four were disgust and anger, then I remembered this is fake…it was about a 1 min. span of time, probably less, to remember that), they both have these hint of freckles when you have them in proper lighting (and not caked in white vampire makeup). I think they’d make a cute couple…. if she grew to like super model height, like Karen Gillan or something…and could walk in heels…and dressed better. No, it’s just not working for me.

TeamSeth

Though… in an interview with Daniel Cudmore (yeah, I sought it out on my own, still think I secretly like Rob, RFM?) he mentions that they didn’t play the Felix like in the book (where Felix winks at Bella) because they wanted him to be more menacing. I think the subtext there is that he and the Stew were having romantic picnics in the Italian countryside and using her stunt double as a Stew decoy hanging out with Rob all the time. This would explain why they had to cut that part, because the sexual tension would’ve been too great btwn and her Cuddley and taken away from the “Oh we should be scared of Felix” feeling for the audience. I mean, that line, “The girl comes with me us.” Seriously? Inside joke, clearly.

So, really, before Julia arrived on scene, Rob was with the stunt double and Stew was with Cuddley, but the whole thing was staged so the fanshippers would be all “Yay for Robsten” etc. More like yay for Robstunt. I also think that Stew was with Rob’s stunt double during Twilight filming (forget that Oregano kid, can we say beard!) I mean, think about how she talks about how menacing and sexual he is during the scene with the ‘frat boys’ when he gets out of the car… she even says, “He was way better than you, Rob.” yeah, that’s right. IN COUGWICKE’S BED. (ahem)

CUDSTEW LIVES! (shudders, I can’t get behind this, it’d be like Dakota and Billy Burke or something, except legal)

cute pic! and you can see KStew in her black wig RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! Aww CudStew. I am going to send them recipe cards and ideas for movies to do together.

TeamSeth

Like… the new Superman film! I mean, who would make a better Lois Lane than Stutter McBlinky? And Cudmore already HAS the glasses [and the tights, but only me and select few know about that–put that in your pipe and smoke it, Kristen!]

TeamSeth

The glasses are growin’ on me. Like Forks for Bella. (hence avi change)

Anonymous

Hehe!

Why not go with StewMore? Seems kinda appropriate.

Anonymous

Huh. Yes. Your fake name for the fake couple I just made up is much better. Less like a soup made from cow spit.

“Actually, through her agency, I sent her a beautiful one-of-a-kind card along with five of my favorite recipes in card-size plastic sleeves which makes them easy for travel. Several were for large parties, but the others were comfort foods just perfect for her & Rob to have a quiet supper alone. I know she loves to cook, as do I. I also sent her a suggestion for a movie remake that she and Rob would be perfect for (“The Fountainhead” from the book by Ayn Rand)”

Now I feel like a bad fan. I’ve never sent anything to Rob (other than a few hundred letters via LTR). I need to one-up that fan for Rob’s birthday. I’ll show her what true fan-love is supposed to look like. I’m going to send him 30 of my favorite recipes for tortilla soup, none of which contain bell peppers. All recipe cards will be printed on steel and coated in teflon and doused with flame retardant so he can never dispose of them. And I will be sending a script for MNS’s adaptation of Thomas Gets An Awful Shock. I WILL TRIUMPH IN FAN LOVE.

TeamSeth

“Through her agency”

Really? I wish I worked for an agency so I could free crap from cray cray fans. J/s Send on the Target gift cards–Kstew LOOOOVES target, I promise!

Anonymous

Oh Christ not The Fountainhead. I am sure that will be sent right on to her and not thrown immediately into the trash! Wow, lady, YOU ARE JUST LIKE KRISTEN STEWART I BET ROB MAKES OUT WITH YOU ON ACCIDENT LIKE, ALL THE TIME!

Why do I get the feeling that the types of fan gifts K-Stew gets are different than the types of fan gifts Rob gets? I am picturing a giant pile of Ayn Rand books for Kristen, along with lots of shawls, cat photos, and oven mits. Rob probably gets panties in every size and condition, homemade glitter lube and lipstick smeared fanart. I cannot imagine anything makes its way through to either of them. Taylor…I’m sure he just gets lots of hotel/house keys with dates/times/locations attached to them. Wonder if CW gets anything.

TeamSeth

Clearly he received Mustard Pants in 2009…

If you look closely, you can see DILF stitched into the top left corner of the front right-hand pocket, like where the “Levis” red patch normally goes.

His jacket is JUST blocking the stitching. (ps-I may or may not have been the cray cray fan person who sent the pants.)

Anonymous

homemade glitter lube! now I want to get a job at their agency. I don’t want to live in LA, though, can I do that from my couch? maybe I can just call the admin assistant there and be all, dude, just change the address to send all insane shit to my address. I bet she’d be happy to be rid of the job.

TeamSeth

I think if you listed your home address on some website somewhere that indicated it was the address of Kristen or Rob’s (OR BOTH!) agency, you could effectively get free stuff.

TeamSeth

And creepy visitors… (hide your kids! hide your wife!)

Anonymous

It will be like having my own personal 3D DeviantArt site!

TeamSeth

Leah IS the gang. I love this article… I never read articles like this… are these normal? It’s just hilarious! And this:

“Kristen learned to ride a dirt bike in ‘New Moon’ so they thought it would be appropriate. Rob was supervising as she sat on it to make sure she was OK. They looked like they were having a great time, and it will be something they can really enjoy!”

1) No, I don’t think she did. Wasn’t she was pulled on a trailer thing.
2) Rob can ride a motorcycle? The kid can’t even run in a straight line!

I don't read these either. Maybe I should; I was so entranced by the USAToday awfulness of the SM post the other day.

"Rob was supervising as she sat on it to make sure she was OK"….Supervising. Fuck, like she's a child or something….wait, is Rob EDWARD?! My god, I can't keep the two of them straight in my mind!!!

Ooh, which reminds me: when I was embarrassedly ordering my Twi-panion book at the uber-cool local bookstore the other day, the guy behind the counter was talking to me about "Edward Patterson"…I had to bite back my Nerd Impulse to push my glasses back on my nose and correct him.

Well, he writes about homosexuality in 12th century China, so I think he’s more of a plane chat up possibility than an actor who hates his profession…

Of course, you’d be the best gauge of that.

Anonymous

Again about this article. “Kristin drove one in NM so it seemed appropriate.” Really, I don’t know if sitting on one attached to a trailer/truck thing constitutes driving but maybe she did really enjoy herself. Although I’m pretty sure she mentioned how scared she was. Great journalism, all I’m sayin I guess.

Anonymous

Kristen drove one 3 movies ago, and they all finally scraped together the cash to get her one of her own.

Anonymous

Let’s not forget the leaked BD set photos that sounded like they were ripped from the pages of a FF, not from the real book. (nice!) Too bad I didn’t get to see them.

Anonymous

The mock ups on here were better. I *promise*.

Anonymous

“pie guy slash the guy from The Fall”
This has some great fanfic potential, in my opinion.
Lee Pace goes to BD wrap party bearing pies. All the male cast-mates then decide to have a pie eating contest (what else is there do?). After, they realize they have pie all over them. But there are no napkins. So then, obviously, the only thing they can do is take off their shirts. And then things get really interesting….

TeamSeth

CRAP. This made me inappropriately giggle at work.

natteringyeahrobber

I just watched the Lee Pace clip, above. He has a great voice, but sort of came off as one of those dudes in a 1980’s video-dating service video. “Hi, I’m Lee Pace and thanks for your consideration. I am single and like to bake pies. Please call me if you need instruction on what to do with your beaded pie chain. I also excel at lattice topping, blind baking your choux, double crusting, and phyllo-ing your pastries. Looking for a fondant for my batter. Thanks.”

“Of course Carlisle Cullen would land at #2 on the Forbes list of most wealthy fictional characters ”

Please tell me that Fifty is the number one. Man does that guy have some cash! Wait, they don’t include fanfiction!!

natteringyeahrobber

That thought entered my mind as well. Fifty Edward is at least as powerful as Jay Gatsby. Oh well, maybe Eric Packer will make the list next year.

Anonymous

Two other thoughts.
100 Monkeys are a great live show! How many times do I have to say it?!

And does anyone else wonder who these girls that like the LTT facebook page because none of the names look familar at all! (wonder if could find pick me out?)

Anonymous

Woo-hoo! One of you likes Sophie Kinsella 🙂

nateringyeahrobber

Oh, RFM, I think I found you! Spent all evening going through 1,700 FB profiles, but I finally found you! You are the girl with the crazy purple eyes, leghitching the Kristen standee and holding up a copy of Atlas Shrugged. Yah, that’s it – RFM, I think I found you.

I’m the one wearing a white lab coat, sitting in the basement at Princeton, holding a beaker full of fresh glitter lube. *waves!*

TeamSeth

CRAP! You made me laugh out loud inappropriately at home and Mr. Seth gave me “the look” because I’m supposed to be doing work on my novel NOT reading LTT. (BAD TS!!!!)

Anonymous

Haha! What gave me away?! Oh, the leghitching KStew! I told you about my dream photo with her, didn’t I?!

Anonymous

I totally got an email from Amazon yesterday saying that my item had shiped. I wasnt aware that I had ordered anything… but yep, there it was in items sent – My Twilight Guide, that I ordered 6 months ago.

Sagalvr

I read the entire Illustrated Guide in Target as soon as they put it on the shelves (totally normal) and got goosebumps when Stephenie talks about Jane Eyre being a huge favorite and literary inspiration of hers (mine too!). I often feel some Rochester/Jane dynamic with Edward/Bella–he is older than her, takes himself too seriously, and thinks he’s a bad person most of the time but she’s stoic and able to get through life much better. I wonder if Stephenie ever read Gone with the Wind, because the Scarlett/Rhett/Melanie/Ashley relationship reminded me a lot of the Host with Melanie (coincidence?!)/Jared/Wanderer/Ian. Wanderer/Ian are totally Melanie/Ashley! Come on! And Melanie/Jared are superhot–modern Scarlett/Rhett, I get it~!

TeamSeth

Just sent Chris Weitz a tweet… first time I’ve tweeted him. And it was about dungeons and dragons.

wtf.

Anonymous

Go Team Seth

Aarjammur

Here’s hoping you get a response. You are braver than I am – I still have not mustered (or is it mustarded) up the courage to be rejected by CW. I’m confident he’ll respond to you, men over 40 usually respond to D&D related questions, they cannot help it.

Anonymous

dude, he never talks to me. I didn’t think of DnD, though. Good call. What did you ask?

Anonymous

dude, he never talks to me. I didn’t think of DnD, though. Good call. What did you ask?